"Colonel Cammermeyer, we're ready to show you the patients." "Thank you, Sergeant." "Ten-hut!" "At ease." "How you doing?" "Fine, sir." "Great." "He's okay." "Let's get this up here." "Fine." "Sergeant." "Now." "Hurry!" "Get down!" "Come on!" "Patient down." "Let's get her." "All right?" "Move it, move it!" "Fire when in position!" "Heads up!" "Just get it off!" "Just get it off me!" "Bring him here!" "Bring him inside!" "Cease fire!" "Let's go, let's go!" "What about the comms tent?" "Here he is!" "Transport, radio..." "Right here!" "Right over there." "Got it." "Come on!" "Move it." "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Lock them down." "He's in." "Go, go!" "Turkey One, this is base, Roger that." "Sergeant Wilson." "Hospital, at ease." "Good job." "Thank you." "Turkey One, out." "You just survived the surprise element that was added to the exercise." "This is as close to the real thing as we hope you'll ever get." "But a field hospital is part of the combat zone." "We know from Vietnam that red crosses on our tents and the Geneva Convention won't protect us." "The objective tonight was to test your response if the hospital itself were hit, if casualties included nurses and doctors, and if patients were re-injured." "You demonstrated that as Army reservists, you can meet the challenge." "I'd be proud to serve with you anywhere." "And I'll miss you." "Hospital, attention!" "Present arms!" "Maybe they're just glad to be rid of me." "No, ma'am." "It's a nice sendoff." "Are you joining the reserves in Seattle?" "Washington National Guard." "We're all weekend warriors, Sergeant." "I just hope they know a good commander when they see one, ma'am." "Thank you, Sergeant." "Come on, soldier." "Let's get that vehicle refueled." "Your mother's here." "Mom!" "Can I drive?" "I'm not going if he's driving." "You're the one that backed Dad's car into the tree." "I'm going to drive." "Just get in the car." "So how's it going?" "How's school?" "Okay." "Is that the same as fine?" "Shut up." "Only a year to go, David." "If I live through math." "If you live through Dad, actually." "Andy, would you guys stop?" "What's going on?" "Well, I have some news." "Good or bad?" "Good." "Actually, very good." "This is my house." "What?" "You want to see your weekend quarters?" "I've moved back to Seattle." "I'm back." "I'm here." "I'm home, guys." "Just like that?" "No, I worked at it." "Come on." "You hurt her feelings." "Okay, come on in." "Up here is the living room." "Dining room." "The rug came with the house, so we'll just let it wear out." "Here's the kitchen." "Well, what happened to San Francisco and the Army?" "Oh, I transferred." "Your room's down here, Tom." "You and Andy." "Oh, cool." "I get my own room?" "Yeah, until Matt gets back from Norway." "Dad says Matt's gonna marry Lynette when he gets home." "What?" "I guess so." "Well, I guess you'll have a room to yourself." "Good." "But I'll wait for Matt to tell me that." "Did you get fired, Mom?" "No, I didn't." "I just realized that I couldn't stand living so far away from you all, so I made a decision." "Do you like the house?" "Yeah, this is my bed next to the window." "It doesn't open anyway." "Why don't you try unlocking it?" "What are you looking at?" "Just you." "Nice house." "You hungry?" "Yeah." "Who else wants to get something to eat?" "Hey." "You want to drive?" "Yep." "Okay." "Don't start, okay?" "Where do you want to eat?" "I vote for burgers." "Now that you're settled in here with the Guard, what do you think?" "I like the way we're connected to the community." "It feels good to be on the first line of defense," "whether that's a flood or an earthquake." "Or riot." "No, not many of those in the State of Washington." "I don't miss combat, Colonel." "Me, I was always with the National Guard, and I know regular Army thinks we're..." "You should hear what they say about the Navy and the Air Force." "What?" "I'm glad to be in the Guard, Colonel." "I don't feel like I've left the Army." "We're part of the Army." "Good answer." "Three more coming in." "Sit down, Colonel." "Thank you, sir." "I've been looking over your record." "Twenty-five years in the military," "Bronze Star in Vietnam." "A lot of people went home with those." "Assistant Chief Nurse, Army Reserves Evac Hospital," "V.A. Nurse of the Year award." "You're working for the V up here now, too, aren't you?" "In the Seizure Clinic, yes." "Nine promotions, clinical nurse specialist in neuro-oncology." "And now you're going for your doctorate in nursing science." "At the University of Washington." "Just ambitious?" "Well, I guess I'm one of those people who want to have it all." "Like four stars on your shoulder?" "Wouldn't mind." "Is that honest enough?" "You think you can handle being Chief Nurse of the Washington State National Guard?" "Because I want you for the position." "Unless you feel overextended." "Not that that word even seems to be in your vocabulary." "I like yes better than no." "All right then, Colonel." "You've got the job." "Thank you, sir." "Here they come." "Hi!" "Hey, guys." "Good to see you." "We've made it." "About time." "Happy weekend." "Happy weekend!" "Hi!" "It's good to see you." "It's great to be here." "Hi!" "Thanks." "Everything okay?" "You're not my nurse anymore, Grethe." "And, yeah, I'm fine." "No headaches, no blind spots." "What you see is what there is." "Hey, pass it." "Come on." "Pass it." "Excellent." "See?" "I got another friend to pick up at the bus station." "Feel like driving?" "Sure." "Great." "Hey, good looking." "There she is." "Hi, Professor." "Hiya, creep." "Hi, creep." "I'm still hoping for some of that legendary rain." "My friend Grethe." "My friend Diane." "Hi." "Hi, you like rain?" "On a barbecue?" "Not too much." "Well, I'm from the desert." "I like shade and water." "Like a little cow pony." "It's great to see you." "Grethe's Norwegian." "She can't get enough sun." "And you live in Seattle?" "Doesn't make any sense, does it?" "It's good to see you." "It's good to see you, too." "Do you mind if we swing home through town?" "I gotta pick something up at the market." "I got it over here." "Come on, Tom." "Oh, no." "We'll get you." "You ain't getting by!" "Yeah!" "Come on, come play." "Oh, no, thanks." "Come on." "Oh, she doesn't want to." "I'm a dud." "So, haul over here, dud." "You're embarrassing me." "Okay." "Come on." "Okay, everybody set?" "Yeah." "Okay, all right." "Ten, ten, hut." "Go, go, go." "Touchdown!" "So, was I beautiful?" "Hang your head, Tom Dooley" "Hang your head and cry" "Killed poor Laura Foster" "Poor boy, you're bound to die" "Hang your head, Tom Dooley" "Hang your head and cry" "Killed poor Laura Foster" "Poor boy you're bound to die" "Good night, sleep well." "You, too." "Sleep well." "Are you gonna go with them?" "You know, I'm not really a dud." "Oh, he was way out of line." "Why?" "Means he liked me." "They're good kids." "Yeah." "They live with their father." "I see them on weekends." "Boys need a father." "Maybe everybody needs a father." "How long have you known Susan and Anne?" "When Anne had the brain surgery, I was her nurse." "Oh, that was in San Francisco." "I worked down there for a couple of years." "The hospital didn't want to let Susan room in with her." "I took the position that they were a couple just like any other couple." "And I can see you're persuasive." "I'm persistent." "You can usually get around the rules if you know how." "You wanna help me with my taxes?" "Kidding, Colonel." "Now wait a minute." "All your kids are Mormons?" "Louis got converted after our divorce." "So, yeah, all my kids are Mormons." "That's why Matt's in Norway, my oldest boy." "He's on his mission." "He speaks Norwegian." "I taught all of them Norwegian." "Now, I'm still back on Louis." "Why did he become a Mormon?" "He likes structure." "He's remarried." "Are you ever tempted?" "To get married again?" "No." "That's me." "You made some improvements." "Actually, I didn't." "Can I keep it?" "All yours." "I can't even draw a stick figure." "That's okay." "I can't even put a Band-Aid on straight." "Were you ever married?" "I had a long relationship." "Even good things come to an end." "She's still my friend." "Friends are hard to come by." "I bet you never come down to LA." "I don't have anything against LA." "I just don't have much reason." "It's sunny." "Well, there's that." "My show's opening at the university, if you think you could play hooky from your responsibilities." "Never been to an art opening." "They're hard." "The trick is to pretend you like the art." "I don't pretend well." "Why am I not surprised?" "Well, I'm brave, you can come anyway." "You'll take your chances?" "Oh, yeah." "I usually do." "Diane, your work is outstanding." "Are you just saying that because you want an A in class?" "You already gave me an A." "Oh, my God." "I'm sorry." "But I'll take another one." "Oh, you." "No, they're really, really great." "Thank you, thank you." "Really." "Excuse me." "Oh, God." ""There's a primal poetry" ""in the creation of the image of a simple object with a such purity" ""that it animates the painting field by the sense of its existence." ""There is a welcome calm and an authoritative reticence."" "What..." "Oh, you know what that means." "You have an authoritative reticence yourself." "Command presence." "Works on dogs, boys and soldiers." "Diane, I hate to interrupt." "Hi." "You leaving?" "We'll see you at the restaurant, okay?" "Oh, okay." "I'll just see you out." "Excuse me." "So do you feel like going out with everybody?" "Will your friend be there?" "Doubt it." "She usually gets up early." "We could go out by ourselves, if you'd rather." "No, they're expecting you." "Oh, they're fine." "Do you want to?" "Yeah." "Okay." "They were marching right down this street, right past here." "Not on the sidewalk." "They filled the street." ""Hey, hey, IbJ, how many kids did you kill today?"" "It was wild." "Did you march?" "No." "I was too busy learning how to paint." "But, you know, I was sympathetic." "I mean, we all understood..." "We were dying in Vietnam." "That was the whole point." "It was demoralizing." "The dying or the marching?" "Are we gonna have an argument on our first date?" "Is that what this is?" "A date?" "It's up to you, Grethe." "I don't know what I'm doing." "Yes, you do." "I think you do." "Morning." "Hi, I'm making eggs." "Have you ever made eggs before?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, I'm quite a good cook when I put my mind to it." "No one ever makes scrambled eggs in a sauce pan." "Are you kidding?" "It is the only way..." "Put that back, go sit down." "I've read how to do this." "Have it your way." "Are you putting cream in there?" "They're already cooked." "Okay, I'll shut up." "You are so bossy." "That's what you like about me." "I guess I must." "You're here." "Well, I sure didn't fall for your uniform." "No, no." "I mean, you're very impressive in it." "You're easily impressed." "Not at all." "These are the best scrambled eggs I've ever tasted." "Thank you." "See, that's how you take a compliment." "I'll try to remember." "Toast." "I wish you didn't have to go back to LA." "It'd be nice, wouldn't it?" "Yeah." "I left a message in your office." "Hi, Jim." "You could have beeped me." "I hate those things." "What's up?" "I need to talk to you." "Do I have two minutes?" "No rush." "You know when I hired you, Grethe," "I told you you were way overqualified for the position." "I was grateful for the job." "Seattle's always been a tough market." "I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep you." "You knew I had my kids up here." "I hate to see people underutilizing their abilities." "Are you letting me go?" "No, I'm promoting you." "I got enough money in the budget for a new position." "I want you to be the Neuro Coordinator of the Seizure Clinic." "I want you to run it." "I mean, why would I fire you?" "You're my best nurse." "Thank you, Jim." "It comes with a raise and all that, you know?" "You sound tense." "No, I don't." "Definitely a little wound up." "I'm just tired, this research for my thesis." "Then say good night." "I got a letter from my father." "He's coming to live with me." "He's old, but he's not blind, Diane." "He's gonna notice." "Well, do you talk about everything he does in private?" "Sometimes I don't understand how you think at all." "No, I'm just saying it doesn't have to come up." "Do I need pillow cases to go with these?" "I'm not going to pretend." "Yes, you said that all ready." "Here." "Maybe I should get him solids." "Why force somebody to hear something they don't wanna hear, you know?" "Your family knows." "They do not." "Well, okay, they've probably figured it out by now, but we don't talk about it." "There's lots of things I wouldn't tell my family." "How about blue?" "No, it's too cold." "He'll feel right at home." "Like what kind of thing?" "Am I prying?" "Yes." "White." "You can't go wrong with white." "He's only coming for two years." "He works his way around the family." "So, you want to call me in two years?" "No." "No, I just haven't decided what to do yet." "He has some neurologic problems." "He hasn't been able to manage by himself since my mother died." "He doesn't need to know, Grethe." "I need him to know." "Well, I think that's selfish." "We have a complicated relationship." "Which "we" are you talking about?" "You and him, or you and me?" "Both." "You'll probably like each other." "Yeah, well, I get on with most people." "Well, so do I. My father's the exception." "Now what?" "Now what?" "No, okay, okay, you're in drive." "If you want to start the engine, put it into neutral." ""Dear Far..."" ""Dear Father." ""I've met someone" ""who has become very important to me. "" "Terrible." ""Dear Far..."" "How's it going?" "Fine." "Lousy." "You want some tea?" "I'll make it." "Okay." ""Dear Far, before you move in with me," ""you need to know that I've come to understand" ""I'm a homosexual." ""I'm perfectly happy, and I don't need therapy." ""But I can't and won't hide who I am from you." ""Now, neither one of us has to be dishonest." ""You know you're welcome here for as long as you want." ""But I'm not gonna change my life." ""Your only daughter, Grethe. "" "Hello?" "It's me." "Hi." "Hi." "My father wrote back two sentences." "Do you want to hear them?" "Sure." "Okay, I'm translating from the Norwegian." ""I'm sorry you had to say anything about this." ""I hope it doesn't hurt your career. "" "He's a tough man." "Well, at least he didn't reject me." "He isn't right about your career, is he?" "No, he's just trying to criticize me." "I miss you." "I like hearing that." "So what should I call him?" "Well, I call him Far, which is Norwegian for Father." "I don't think I'd better." "Well, his name's Yahn." "Listen, I feel terrible." "Look at me and look at you, you look so nice." "You look fine." "He probably won't even notice." "How about Dr. Cammermeyer?" "That's safe." "How do you do?" "Hey." "Far, this is Diane." "My daughter tells me you're some kind of a artist professor." "Well, yes." "I mean, I am an artist and I do teach." "So, yeah." "I don't know anything about art." "Don't apologize." "Neither does Grethe." "Tell me your name again." "Diane." "I may need to ask you more than once." "It's perfectly all right, Professor." "I'm on my way to the library." "I'll catch you later." "Oh, good one, Bosco!" "Diane." "Hi." "See you." "Why didn't you tell me it was this hard to get a PhD?" "Oh, you thought that if I could get one, anybody could, huh?" "Don't start." "Did Far drive you crazy?" "No, actually, we had a good time." "He talked about the Norwegian resistance." "He's trying to impress you." "Well, I hear that's a good thing." "Know why he's being so pleasant?" "Because he's pretending we're just a couple of friends." "We are." "No, like we don't matter to each other." "Grethe." "I want him to understand." "No, you want him to accept it." "You want him to approve it." "Yes." "Right." "Yes." "Well, you know, you're gonna be disappointed." "Look, would you slow down?" "Jeez!" "Gotta do up my shoe." "You know, a couple of years ago, Far was doing our family book." "He's a fool for genealogy." "And he wrote down..." "He wrote down that he has three children." "Except that there are four of us." "He has three boys, is what he meant." "Oh, God." "Why do you have him stay with you?" "He's my father." "But just once before the man's dead I'd like to hear him say," ""I'm proud of you." ""You did a good job, Margarethe."" "I mean, what does it take?" "My medals, my marriage, my sons, my rank?" "I mean, he's tough." "You impress everybody else." "You impress me." "I'm going to upgrade my security clearance to top-secret" "and apply to the War College." "What?" "I have the background." "I have the experience." "I want to be Chief Nurse of the entire National Guard." "I'm gonna make General." "Well, that'll sure impress the hell out of your dad." "It has nothing to do with him." "Good." "I never told anyone I rolled that jeep." "I wanted to finish my tour." "I was dumb enough to want to stay in Nam." "I was stationed in Long Bihn." "Yeah, I was at Da Nang." "Headaches?" "That's why they sell aspirin." "Okay, look straight ahead." "You still dream about it?" "Yeah." "See you next week, Frank." "Would you have this sent down to Dr. Christianson, please?" "Whoops!" "Colonel Cammermeyer." "Agent Cole, Department of Investigative Services." "Sorry I'm late." "Oh, no problem." "You ever applied for an upgrade before?" "No." "I ask, you answer." "Very basic." "Have you ever received treatment for any mental, emotional, psychological or personality disorder?" "I had some counseling to help me get through my divorce, but that's not a disorder, in answer to your question." "Do you use alcohol on a regular basis?" "I stopped drinking 10 years ago." "Did you have a problem?" "I didn't want to have a problem." "lllegal drugs?" "No." "Never?" "No." "Have you ever engaged in immoral conduct?" "No." "What do you mean by immoral?" "Those defined by the Department of Defense." "Alcohol abuse, drug abuse, homosexuality, adultery, sexual acts with a minor..." "I'm a lesbian." "You're an active lesbian?" "I have an emotional..." "I connect emotionally to women." "Sexually?" "It doesn't have anything to do with sexual activity." "Then what makes you a lesbian?" "My feelings." "About women?" "More about myself." "It's who I am." "Being a homosexual is not illegal according to the Uniform Code of Military Justice." "Only homosexual acts are, and that's not what I'm talking about." "When you were married, were you faithful to your husband?" "For all 15 years." "Yes." "So how many women have you had sex with?" "I never said I did." "Yeah, but you have had relationships." "I'm trying to understand." "Help me out." "This is who I am." "How many ways can I explain it to you?" "So if you don't engage in conduct, how do you know you're a lesbian?" "Maybe you're celibate." "You're not listening." "Oh, I am." "Being a lesbian is part of someone's identity." "Nothing more, nothing less." "I have patients." "I need to get back to work." "We're almost done." "What possessed you to tell them?" "Nobody ever asked before." "At least I don't remember them asking." "Anyway, this is for top-secret clearance." "I didn't know he was going to ask, Diane." "Anyway, it's the truth." "It'll be easier for us to plan our schedules." "Now you won't have to waste a weekend a month at the base." "You know you've cooked your own goose." "Why?" "I'm not a security risk." "I can't be blackmailed if I've already told the Army." "There'd be no leverage." "Then why do you look so gray around the gills?" "There were restrictions against women." "There were restrictions against blacks." "There was a regulation against mothers." "Policies change." "The Army is a reasonable organization." "Oh, really?" "It takes..." "It judges a situation by its merits." "Not according to history." "Were you there?" "You are such a soldier." "I am." "I have 23 years of service." "That has to count." "The Army takes care of its own." "It's where I belong." "Would you have told them anything if we'd never met?" "No." "I probably would have just kept on lying to myself." "Grethe, you have a big fat mouth." "So what happens now?" "I don't know." "Maybe nothing." "Oh, I thought I was an optimist." "You're off the scale." "I love you." "On the firing line..." "Colonel Cammermeyer." "...cease fire." "We've been contacted by the Defense Investigative Services, Colonel." "You received an adverse report." "Based on your own statement." "That I'm a lesbian?" "As a result, your security clearance has been pulled." "And your federal recognition is under consideration for withdrawal." "The Guard is trying to discharge me?" "Not the Guard." "The Army." "I'm allowed to say I'm homosexual." "Not since 1982." "Regulation AR 135-1 75." "Which is?" "You're the legal adviser." "Tell her the wording." "The regulation says that if a member states that he or she is a homosexual or bisexual, then that member will be removed from the military, unless there's a further finding that the member is not a homosexual or a bisexual." "So my statement is all that it takes?" "The military has discharged 15,000 soldiers in the last 10 years." "Where do you think those people went, Colonel?" "I had no idea." "Transferred?" "Everyone moves around." "You could avoid charges if you want to resign, Colonel." "No, sir, I refuse to resign." "Are we allowed to keep her serving?" "Well, until the Army takes formal action." "I'm sorry this is happening." "Yes, sir, so am I." "I always thought you had a lot of potential." "Thank you, sir." "Don't bury me yet." "Is that all, sir?" "That's all." "It'd be midnight and the sky'd still be blue outside." "You could read a newspaper." "And what were you doing up at midnight?" "Oh, you stepped in it now." "Thinking of you." "Yeah, right." "Bravo, bravo." "Hey." "Here we are." "All right." "Wow." "Welcome home, Matt." "Thank you, Mor." "Oh, I love it when you call me Mor." "That's Norwegian for mother." "Did you go see where we used to live in Oslo?" "Couldn't find it." "The Nazis had their headquarters across the street from us." "We were hiding members of the resistance, right under their big noses." "Your mother used to smuggle guns." "I remember, under my blanket in my baby carriage." "With her on top of them." "Wasn't that dangerous with a baby?" "Oh, yeah." "Far, could we please hear about Matt?" "This girl is marrying into the family." "She needs to know what we are all about." "She knows." "Matt, cut the cake." "Good idea." "Make them big slices." "Oh, this looks good." "Why did you tell your father you were getting married, and you didn't tell me?" "You knew how Lynette and I felt." "Sure I did." "I just didn't want to tell you over the phone, transatlantic." "You told him." "Just so he'd start making arrangements with the Bishop." "You're not Mormon." "You can't do it, Mor." "You can't even go to the ceremony." "A lot of people can't." "You gotta be an active member with a certain standing to be allowed inside the temple." "Even some of Lynette's relatives can't go." "Her mother will be there." "Please don't make this into a big thing, because I can't fix it." "I'll be waiting for you right outside that temple door." "Okay." "What would happen if we both just quit?" "You know, to hell with the careers." "We'd still get our pension." "I'd be agreeing with Army regulations." "Do you believe everything has a purpose?" "A purpose?" "Yeah." "Maybe." "I'm gonna change the regulations, Diane." "I had to fall in love with a hero." "I'm not a hero." "Just a Viking." "Vikings die with their swords in hand, don't you know that?" "Oh, dear." "How did you find this lawyer?" "I started with the ACLU, and they referred me to LAMBDA." "Which is what?" "What does that stand for?" "Oh, Grethe, wait, wait." "This isn't the Army, okay?" "LAMBDA offers free legal counsel to gays and lesbians." "Are they lesbians?" "What does it matter?" "It's non-profit." "And this is just dinner, okay?" "Do you remember her name?" "Hi, I'm Mary Newcombe." "Colonel Cammermeyer?" "Hello." "You're a kid." "Oh, I'm old enough to know that's a compliment." "Thank you." "Diane, hi." "Hey." "And I'm Chris." "Hi." "Come on in." "I invited another client for you to talk to before you make up your mind." "Captain Dusty Pruitt." "Colonel." "Meet another dyke who didn't keep her mouth shut." "No, I was on active duty for eight years." "I didn't transfer to the Reserves until I started divinity school." "Dusty gave an interview to the LA Times identifying herself as a lesbian." "And a minister." "Did you think soldiers had First Amendment rights?" "No way." "No, ma'am." "You were discharged just for saying it?" "They parked a van of agents outside my church." "They put a car in front of my apartment." "My phone clicked so much it sounded like mice were eating the line." "I know." "I got so sick of it, one night I went out and invited them in for coffee." "Did they accept?" "No, they were too embarrassed." "They just drove off and never came back." "You think the Army's your family." "You think it's your life." "Except, maybe, your family could forgive you." "There's nothing to forgive." "Were you ever in the closet, Mary?" "Not as far in as you were." "Or as Grethe is." "Diane's still got the door closed." "No, no." "I just don't have the itch to tell, you know?" "I mean, it's not such a novelty to me." "Just because you're honest with yourself, there's no reason the whole world has to know about it." "Right, right." "You know, I don't know." "I'd like not having to hide, you know?" "I'm very proud of the life I've made." "I'm happy." "I'm happy, too." "All these happy people at the same table." "I'm touched." "I am." "Would you take on the Army again if you could do it over?" "Nothing's gonna change unless people stick up for themselves, Colonel." "You have to decide what kind of tolerance you have, Grethe." "Because when we lose the first round, and we will, we're gonna have to sue in Civil Court, and that puts you way out in public." "Now, are you ready to have everyone that knows you know you're a lesbian?" "Your colleagues, your family, your kids?" "No." "Then resign." "Go gracefully." "Bow out now, keep your benefits, save your time and mine." "They're lesbians." "No kidding." "I'm not like them." "Did you think you were gonna sue from the closet?" "I didn't think about it." "You're the highest-ranking officer ever charged with being gay." "It's the kind of thing people are going to notice." "I haven't been charged." "The boys could hate me." "They could refuse to see me." "I could lose my kids, Diane." "I mean, why should I risk that?" "Okay, then that's the decision." "No, I can't do it." "I agree." "I don't know why you wanna be in the military, anyway, with their attitudes." "They're dinosaurs." "You were a combat nurse." "You served in Vietnam." "You would have died for the Army, and they would have let you." "No questions asked." "So, goodbye, Army." "Who cares?" "I do." "You're unbelievable." "I was asked a direct question." "I gave a direct answer." "As an officer, I didn't have any choice." "There wasn't any choice." "The regulation has an escape hatch built into it." ""Unless there is a further finding that the member is not a homosexual."" "What if we found that?" "You could have been having a mid-life crisis or some sort of post-trauma syndrome or short-term mental breakdown." "You could take it back, Grethe." "Recant." "You don't have to do Joan of Arc here." "If I said it wasn't true, I'd be lying." "I'm not suggesting you lie." "But couldn't you have had a moment of sexual confusion and gotten over it?" "No." "Fine." "I can't lie about who I am." "I'd rather lose my uniform than my integrity." "And you will, you know." "You're throwing away your career." "I could win." "You could commit murder and have a better chance of staying in." "What are you doing?" "Come on." "What is this?" "Where's the D?" "Go." "Hey, Mom, what are you doing?" "It's the last three minutes." "I need to talk to you." "Now what did we do?" "Yeah, what?" "Nothing." "This is about me." "I'm going to sue the Army." "What?" "They want to discharge me because I told them I'm a lesbian." "Here." "Mor, here." "Thank you." "You're not a lesbian." "They don't have kids." "Where'd you get your information?" "If you want to have nothing to do with me..." "No, please don't cry, Mor." "Mor, we already know." "How?" "I didn't realize it that long ago myself." "Dad did." "He said that?" "Hey, it's old news." "Not to everybody else." "When I sue, it'll be in the newspapers." "I'll be on the news." "People are going to know." "Like Lynette." "I told her on our first date." "What?" "If she'd had a problem with it, we wouldn't be together." "If she'd had a problem with it, we wouldn't be together." "You were the first gay person she'd ever met." "Why does everyone have to find out?" "Who cares?" "You want to ask me anything?" "Yeah." "When did you decide to become a lesbian?" "I think I always knew." "I just couldn't admit it to myself." "We have to go." "We told Dad we'd be home." "Already?" "Tom!" "Tom?" "I love you." "Bye, Mom." "Bye-bye." "I love you." "I love you." "When you're in the military, you have to believe in the greater plan." "You have to find meaning in adversity." "Most people find a lawyer instead." "You know, if the Army's smart, it'll lose the paperwork." "You are too pure a test to the policy." "The Army's very good at paperwork." "You know, conduct is such a stupid distinction." "If it doesn't interfere with the military, what difference does it make what you do?" "Is that gonna be your argument?" "Discrimination and prejudice." "That's the case." "There is no legitimate basis for treating gays and straights differently." "The policy's built on nothing but fear and prejudice." "So strike it down, clean and simple." "Do you think it will work?" "Probably not." "I don't want to mislead you, Grethe." "This particular U.S. Supreme Court has gone out of its way to avoid protecting homosexuals." "I'm a positive thinker." "Good." "I have something for you." "But if you don't like it, you have to give it back to me, because I like it myself." "Well, then you should keep it." "I want you to have it." "It's an Edwardian buckle ring." "We can get it sized down if you like it." "Just don't be polite." "I love it." "Yo." "Jim, can I talk to you?" "Sit." "What can I do for you?" "You know how I can't afford to lose this job." "What's happened?" "I'm a lesbian." "Thank God." "I thought it was something else, something really scandalous." "I am so naive, Grethe, it never even occurred to me." "The Army's trying to discharge me." "You told everybody." "I'm gonna fight it." "So everybody's going to know about it." "The patients are going to hear about it." "Their families, the administration..." "Look, if I fired everyone on staff who was gay, the hospital would shut down." "You're a good nurse, Grethe." "Anything else is your private life." "You don't have to worry about your job here." "Thank you." "I don't know why you keep opening your mouth about it." "Where's your sense of privacy?" "I'm sorry if it embarrasses you, Far." "Good night." "Margarethe?" "Do you know why I never hugged my sons?" "You didn't want to." "I did." "I was afraid they would become homosexuals." "And you ended up with one anyway." "At least it was only your daughter." "Are you blaming me?" "You missed so much." "You can't control who people are, Far." "Good night." "The first ward I worked on in the Army was OBlGYN, so I thought I knew everything there was to know about childbirth." "Until I had Matt." "I didn't know that you fall in love." "The moment they put him in my arms, I was awed." "He was so beautiful." "They took him down to the nursery." "I remember the hospital was really quiet." "There was nobody in the halls." "I couldn't sleep, so I got up and I went down to see him, even though I couldn't feel my legs." "Just to see if he was real." "I couldn't believe that something so fragile and irreversible" "had happened to me." "He was a gift of love." "So now he's getting married." "How did that happen?" "Here they come." "All right." "Okay." "Excuse me." "Congratulations." "Yeah, I'm just trying to get in." "Is that Louis?" "He used to be very handsome." "Then your kids got it from both sides." "Matt." "Matt, come on." "Wake up, wake up." "They're coming." "Okay." "Hi." "Hl." "I wish you could have been inside." "Did somebody from the church come and sit with you?" "Yes, a very nice man came out to ask if we had any questions." "But I didn't have any." "A married man!" "Hi." "Hi." "Congratulations." "Thank you for coming." "Far." "I'm glad you're here." "Hi, dud." "It went smooth as glass." "I'm glad." "I'd like you to meet my friend Diane." "How do you do?" "Hi." "Hi." "Hi." "Congratulations." "Thank you." "Picture." "Picture!" "Come on." "Let's..." "Far, over here." "Where, where, where?" "Thank you." "All right, great." "Why don't you get on the other side of Grandpa there?" "Everybody ready?" "Great." "Now how about a kiss?" "Great." "The car's over here." "I'm going with Mom." "I told you." "Are you all right?" "Problems?" "Sort of." "I'll get that." "Thank you." "Watch your head, dud." "Yeah, I was wondering if I could come stay with you." "You know how I hate to get between you and your dad." "No, I don't want to live there anymore." "I want to move in with you, but if that's a problem..." "It isn't." "No, I'd love to have you home." "I'd be thrilled." "You not liking guys and all that, and I'm a guy..." "David." "My sexual orientation has nothing to do with you." "I love you for who you are." "So please, don't stereotype me like that, okay?" "I'm coming." "So can I?" "You know you can." "Your father will blame me." "What else is new?" "That made me laugh." "I'll take Far up." "If I don't resign immediately, they're going to court-martial me." "Oh, they don't call it a court-martial." "They called it an Administrative Board Hearing." "It's the same thing." "They're coming after me, Diane." "Why don't you just take it easy on yourself, just for once, and back off." "You know, I had this little fantasy." "I thought I'd be Chief Nurse of the entire National Guard." "General Cammermeyer would be living in Washington, DC." "I'd finally retire." "Full military honors." "And then I'd say, "You know what?" ""I've been a lesbian all this time, and it didn't matter at all."" "It's a pretty story." "And it's really a pity it didn't turn out that way." "Well, the story's not over." "I wish it were." "Then why don't you go home, Diane?" "If this is too hard for you, why don't you just go home?" "Careful." "I might think you mean it." "I do." "Afternoon, Colonel." "I've been trying to get letters of support" "from some of the other Chief Nurses." "Let me guess." "Nobody wants to put their head in the block for you?" "Well, it doesn't have to be from the medical community." "You mean me?" "We worked together, Colonel." "You could..." "No, your evaluations speak for themselves." "And I have letters and commendations to back them up." "Only nobody wants to challenge the policy." "Maybe they agree with it." "Do you?" "Even people with a high tolerance don't out and out want gays in the military." "They're not gonna start recruiting for gays." "What do you expect?" "You think I should be discharged?" "I'm not talking about you, Colonel." "Don't you think people should be judged by the work they do, not who they are?" "Nobody would have ever known if you hadn't said anything." "Regulations are regulations." "You knew the consequences." "Watch your step, ma'am." "Thank you." "Good night." "Good night." "You should have called." "I'm working." "I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me." "I shouldn't." "I miss you." "I need you." "You can say something here." "Like what?" "Like, it's okay." "Or like you've been waiting for the phone to ring." "I'm old-fashioned." "I'm still waiting for the apology." "I apologize." "Not convincing." "Excuse me." "That's for you." "Open it." "I had a duplicate made for you." "Grethe." "We're gonna grow old together, you and me." "You know, I finally realized I can be very slow sometimes." "But if I have to make a choice between the Army and you," "I'd rather be with you." "You shouldn't have to choose." "That's what's so insane." "You know, Carson seen him practicing that gun trick." "Not for killing Shep, they wasn't." "How do you know?" "Now, how do you know?" "Didn't they link up the very first stinking day that they went with the rawhiders?" "And who got Shep to hire him?" "I'm home." "Where is everyone?" "I'm saying that this wasn't..." "Hi, Andy." "I didn't see your car." "I came on the bus." "He ran away from home." "What?" "I didn't run away." "I moved out." "I'm too old to run away." "Come talk to me." "And we know that he gave that sheep herding killer, Jubal Troop, a job." "A job." "He made him a foreman." "Maybe I'm part of the problem." "Maybe I give you too much freedom when you're here." "What if I said you had to go back to your father's?" "I'd move in with one of my friends." "So it wouldn't change anything?" "No." "Welcome home." "Yes, thank you." "Let's get it over with." "Okay, smile." "Big smiles." "Say cheese." "Can we be ready in two weeks?" "Why is the Army in such a hurry?" "I mean, after all this time?" "Well, I think they finally caught on to the fact the Guard isn't trying to get rid of her." "Here's an admitted homosexual and it's had no impact on your unit whatsoever." "People like her." "Even worse." "The longer you stay, the more you undermine the policy." "I thought you were going on a vacation." "Here I am." "You want to hear something ironic?" "The date of the hearing is the 30th anniversary of my swearing in." "The Army's always had perfect timing." "Now there are two doctors in the family, Far." "I should have gotten a PhD myself, but I didn't do it." "Amazing how he just managed to make your graduation about him." "I thought you liked him so much." "I do, just not right at the moment." "That is the nicest thing he's ever said to me." "My God." "I'm gonna go make some tea." "All right." "What?" "Who wanted a picture?" "I do." "Here you go." "Let me try to put this thing on again." "All right." "It's okay?" "Perfect." "Yeah." "Ready?" "Yeah." "All right." "Here we go." "Okay." "Take one more now." "Okay." "It's an honor to be your military defense counsel, Colonel." "Thank you." "It's going to be a challenge for me in many ways." "That's for sure." "Well, then, let's get started." "Please." "The Army is not going to look at my record and everything I've done and discharge me for saying four words." "It's not about you, Colonel." "It's about military policy, and whether the government has the right to discriminate." "Against me." "So, what do we have here?" "Okay, we've got the PERSEREC Report, commissioned by the Department of Defense in '88, concluded that gays are not security risks, they don't disrupt order, discipline or morale." "Recommendation, lose the policy." "It must have killed them to have to pay for that." "What happened to it?" "It was buried by the Pentagon." "Now, the Crittenden Report." "That's an oldie." "1957, done for the Secretary of the Navy." "It said, "No data shows that gays can't serve well."" "What do they think we've been doing all these years?" "Even the Pentagon admits 10% of the military is gay or lesbian, which makes for 100,000 people on active duty." "How do they keep saying that we undermine the unit's effectiveness when we're there?" "That's why the policy's not legitimate." "Gays aren't the problem." "Bias and prejudice are the problem." "Let's keep going." "Okay, I think you might find this one very interesting." "We went to see our bishop today." "Are you pregnant, Lynette?" "No." "Not yet." "He was wonderful." "We were talking to him about you." "He told us it was important to support you." "You're my mother, no matter what you do." "He's not in favor of your lifestyle, of course, but..." "Which part?" "The part where I pay my taxes?" "The part where I hold a job?" "Where I make a home for my father and kids?" "Where I defend my country?" "We want to testify at the hearing for you." "The Bishop said we could do that." "Can I come in, Mor?" "Lynette." "Yeah, Lynette, come and help me." "I'm having a terrible crisis." "What's wrong?" "I can't do up my zipper." "Oh, okay." "You know, I've only worn the trousers." "I haven't worn the skirt since the '70s, and I don't have time to go out and get a girdle." "You don't need a girdle." "Okay." "Here, I'm gonna count to three and breathe in, okay?" "Okay." "One, two, three." "There." "Oh, good." "That's going to be me in a few months." "You are pregnant." "We just found out." "Oh, that's wonderful news." "Oh!" "Wonderful." "Listen, I really think Matt wanted to tell you himself, so..." "That's okay." "I can hear news like that twice." "Matt's a very lucky man." "Ready?" "Yeah, almost." "Okay." "Does it feel okay?" "Yeah." "It'll be okay." "You look great." "Thanks." "It's down there." "Hello." "Good morning, Colonel." "Nice to see you." "Hi." "The Board will come to order." "The Board of Officers has been called to determine if federal recognition should be withdrawn from Colonel Margarethe Cammermeyer on the basis of homosexuality." "Do you have any questions regarding your rights?" "No, I don't." "Is the government ready to proceed with its case?" "Yes, ma'am." "Try to relax." "As far as the evidence for eliminating Colonel Cammermeyer, we're going to introduce a sworn statement made by Colonel Cammermeyer herself during the performance of a security investigation, in which, as you'll see, she admits to being a homosexual." "It is the government's position that her statement, in combination with the regulations, will control your findings and your recommendations in this case, which must be to eliminate Colonel Cammermeyer from the military." "I hate having to wait out here while Mor's inside." "Nothing they could say could change our testimony." "It's just rules of the law." "I wonder how she's doing." "I signed an affidavit for her saying I know." "So how exactly can she be blackmailed when her whole family's already aware of what she is?" "Who she is." "The Army doesn't care, Far." "They just want her out." "I'm not denying that I said I was a lesbian." "Colonel Cammermeyer, why did you disclose your sexual orientation to the dis Agent?" "Because he asked, and it was the truth." "And I was being honest." "It seemed like that was the very premise of everything I stood for in my entire life and career." "I mean, if there was ever a place to be truthful, it's when you're being asked as part of a top-secret security clearance." "Hi." "Hi." "How's it going in there?" "It's a little early to know." "Hi." "I'm glad you're here." "Yeah, me, too." "How are you doing?" "Okay." "Why don't you take Far home?" "Sure." "Far, why don't you go home, all right?" "This is gonna take a while." "You have a perfectly normal life." "Can they see that?" "Would you like to go with them?" "We can stay if you need us." "Why don't you go ahead?" "I'll be there later, all right?" "You sure?" "Yeah, I'm sure." "Okay." "Okay." "Make sure Far eats something." "I will." "Okay." "Bye, guys." "Bye." "She is such a valuable asset to the military system." "And since there has been no record of, let's say, social disruptions of any kind," "I recommend that this board might consider a waiver or variance or whatever would be the proper wording that would allow her to continue functioning just as she has been." "So, you disagree with Army policy and regulation which provides that someone who has admitted to being a homosexual should be discharged." "Is that correct?" "I understand I'm here to present information on her ability to function in the military system." "But you do understand what Army policy is in this case, do you not?" "I don't wish to make a public statement that I'm against Army policy." "I don't want to take on the Army policy." "Okay, sir." "Are you aware of any family members whose relationship with your mother has been damaged or affected by her revealing her sexual orientation?" "Her father lives with her." "My brothers have chosen to live with her." "Our relationship with her has been strengthened." "If nothing else, it's been opened up." "I love my mother." "She's never pushed her ways on me." "She's never pushed her ways on anybody." "She said, "You're who you are." "Make the most of it."" "I think she should be able to do that herself." "She made me part of the family." "We sit together and we watch TV and we bawl our heads off on the sad shows or we laugh together." "She taught me how to make Norwegian pies." "I mean, those are the kinds of things we do together." "So whatever else she does doesn't change my judgment of her." "It just makes me stronger in the fact that I know she's doing what's right for her." "She was honest." "And that makes me very proud." "Paragraph 2-37 of the Reg." ""Homosexuality is incompatible with military service."" "Now, you may not agree with it, but you'll have to admit that's pretty unambiguous." "This board does not have the option to disregard this policy or to change it." "That is up to people higher than any of us in this room to do." "You, therefore, have no choice except to recommend discharge." "Now, I know it is not a happy thing to do." "It is certainly not something that any of us enjoy, including myself, but it is inescapable." "As soldiers, we have to follow our orders whether we agree with them or not." "Now, the defense has presented a case, arguing that this policy is wrong." "I, as government counsel, have not made any argument that the policy is right." "I don't have to." "The policy is there." "And the policy is clear." "The government recommends honorable discharge." "You've heard experts testify that there are few, if any, differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals in terms of mental health or sexual conduct, including promiscuity." "You've heard the experts testify that gays are not security risks, that their sexual orientation does not affect their job performance nor their ability to lead." "That gays do not try to convert heterosexuals." "That those are stereotypes based in fear, not fact." "This case before you involves one of our country's oldest and most cherished traditions." "A tradition that we were willing to go to war for, to let members of our armed services fight and die for." "And that's a tradition and heritage of personal freedom." "The Pledge of Allegiance ends with "liberty and justice for all."" "It doesn't say, "Except for homosexuals."" "At this time, my client, Colonel Cammermeyer, would like to make a statement." "This has been a crossroads for me, whether to back down or to stand up for what I truly believe is my right as a human being." "That my career, my abilities, my contribution, have nothing to do with my sexual orientation." "Throughout the world, the only way change can be made is by someone stepping forth and exposing themselves so that people become aware that there are differences and that that's okay." "So, I choose to be here, to sit before you and my family" "and be vulnerable, in the hopes that I can be a little bit of an influence in making a change, in allowing us to serve as we have done in the past and will continue to do in the future." "I appreciate your attentiveness, and I thank you very much." "They're ready for us." "Would you stand, Margarethe?" "I truly believe that you are one of the great Americans, Margarethe." "And I've admired you for a long time and the work you've done for the Army National Guard." "I really mean that." "But it's my sad duty to read what I'm going to read." ""Colonel Cammermeyer has proven to be a great asset to both the active" ""and the reserve component, the medical profession as a whole." ""She has consistently provided superb leadership" ""and has many outstanding accomplishments to her credit," ""both military and civilian." ""Notwithstanding, the Board finds that Colonel Margarethe Cammermeyer" ""is a homosexual" ""as defined in AR 135-175" ""and as evidenced by her statement to the Defense Investigative Services" ""on 28 April, 1989," ""and by her admission under oath" ""to this Board that she is a lesbian." ""We recommend that Colonel Cammermeyer's" ""federal recognition be withdrawn." ""And that upon her discharge from the U.S. Army Reserve National Guard" ""an Honorable Discharge Certificate" ""should be awarded. "" "Ten-hut!" "As you were." "Thank you very much." "I'll miss all of you very much." "It's been an honor to serve with you." "Bye." "Thank you." "Take care." "Present arms!" "Today, my attorneys are filing a federal lawsuit to challenge the ban as unconstitutional." "I gave everything I could to the military and will continue to do what I can to achieve equality." "I'm extremely proud to be an American, proud to have worn the uniform." "I'd not exactly expected that my retirement or my discharge from the military would end like this." "I had hoped all my life it would be passing in review in a parade of some kind." "Colonel, why didn't you lie?" "Because as an officer, as a human being, I don't lie." "I'd rather take the consequences for being honest." "Thank you." "Colonel Cammermeyer, what plans do you have for the future?" "What plans do you have for the future, Colonel?" "What does this country need with people like you?" "You're nothing but dirt-digging troublemakers." "Grethe, you don't have to go over there." "Yes, I do." "The America I love and I'd give my life for." "I almost did." "I wish you had." "He was in the Air Force for 30 years, protecting this country against people like you." "That's not what he was protecting it from." "You make me want to vomit." "You call a press conference just to cause problems." "I'm trying to enlighten." "Just to make trouble." "Trouble." "That's what it's for." "Shame." "What's your name, sir?" "She hates me without even knowing me." "Did you think you were gonna change her mind?" "What did you do that for, Grethe?" "Because I'm a soldier." "Where's Mom?" "She said she'd pick me up." "Hi." "She was doing an interview." "It ran long." "Hop in." "All safe?" "What happened?" "It's not that interesting." "Did you win or lose?" "Won." "Great." "Want an ice cream?" "Yeah." "Okay, let's go." "Did you know that Walt Whitman was gay?" "So was Michelangelo." "So is Elton John." "So is Gertrude Stein." "Who?" "Tom." "Is there anything you want to ask me?" "Because you can." "I'll give you an answer." "If someone's mother is gay, does that mean he is, too?" "Is that what your friends said?" "They're not friends." "Listen." "Some people are gay." "Most people aren't." "And it's been that way as long as people have walked on the earth." "I mean, nobody knows why." "Maybe it's biology or environment or both." "But..." "But gay parents don't make gay children any more often than straight parents." "Okay?" "So stop worrying." "You'd probably know by now, anyway." "Did you ever wish you were straight?" "I can't imagine life without your mother." "Don't tell her we talked, okay?" "No." "Okay." "I need to see the Colonel, and I know she's back there." "Dr. Cammermeyer, there's a patient here." "She sees me." "Excuse me." "What can I do for you, Frank?" "Do you know what the most important thing is to an infantry man?" "His weapon." "His buddy." "And you can be my buddy and share my foxhole any time, Colonel." "Did you clean it?" "Yeah." "Well, you don't need stitches." "You know, I'm supposed to be the soldier, not you." "I never thought..." "I didn't expect to drag you into it." "You did what you had to do." "Yeah, did I?" "You were right, Mom." "Did you kick his butt?" "Yeah." "Am I done?" "Yeah." "I lost my job because of an archaic regulation that says I can't exist." "I still love the military, not for what it is but for what it can be." "That's why I'm suing the Army." "And to get back in." "Yeah, my kids will tell you." "I like to finish what I start." "You're about to meet a woman..." "You're missing it." "I'll see the tape." "Are we taping it?" "Yeah, yeah." "Colonel Margarethe Cammermeyer is the highest-ranking military officer ever to be discharged for homosexuality." "Now that Grethe's secret is out in the open, so is a relationship with Diane, an artist." "And Grethe, who used to think of the military as her family, finds her own children are her greatest allies." "I remember her saying, I don't know why..." "I'm sorry." "It was supposed to be from a distance." "I didn't know they were gonna show my face." "They gave my name!" "Only your first name." "Oh, right. "Diane, the artist."" "I warned you." "Yes." "But I didn't expect to be outed on primetime television!" "Hey, dud, it's your sister." "Tell her I died." "Tell her yourself." "Diane, is that you?" "She wasn't crazy about my hat." "That's it?" "She always knew." "She was afraid to say anything because I never did." "You know, you think people are never gonna figure it out, but they do." "They even survive." "I thought I looked rather nice in that hat." "Yeah." "So did I." "Yeah." "You know, this is the best thing that ever could have happened to us, Diane." "What we were meant to do." "Yeah." "No matter what happens." "Grethe Cammermeyer received a wildly enthusiastic reception this afternoon when she spoke at a heavily attended gay-pride rally in Seattle." "I feel very humbled being here today." "Thank you." "People ask, who are we?" "We are their daughters, their sisters, their sons, their nurses, their mechanics, their athletes, their police." "We're your doctors, your fathers, your politicians, your soldiers, your mothers, your friends." "We live with you, care for you, help you, protect you, teach you, love you and need you." "All we ask is that you let us."