"**" "Man:" "You've probably heard lots of stories about Indians riding the plains in the old days wearing next to nothing and shooting off arrows." "But this story's about nowaday Indians." "(Tires screech)" "It happened a few years back." "I had retired as chief but was still busy setting a good example on the res." "(Laughs)" "How you doin', boy?" "(Chuckles)" "**" "It was almost Christmas, but it could have been any time of year as far as I was concerned, because my focus was on someone who lived thousands of Miles away." "We had a penpal exchange the year before with our sister bingo on the mohawk res, and I'd picked a woman..." "Christina little hawk..." "She'd just been widowed, poor thing, and was down in the dumps." "But I found that sending her two or three wildly flirtatious letters each week did a lot to cheer her up." "Soon, she was sending just as many back to me, with each one better than the one before." "By then, she was also dropping hints like crazy about wanting to come and visit, but I'd been stalling'." "Not that I'd stretched the truth that much with what I'd told her about myself, but she might be expecting something a bit more impressive at the airport than some beat-up old apache." "And so, for the first time in my life," "I was lusting after luxury." "Visions of heated leather seats, rear-window defoggers, and cup holders..." "These were the things that were keeping me up at night." "But this story isn't just about me." "No, my son Raymond is the big success around here." "And he went off to one of them big shot schools back east and he got a big shot job with some big shot company and he married a big shot woman too." "But then she ran off with some other big shot." "So, ray came back here to be the big shot general manager of our tribe's new big shot resort." "Which, if you ask me, is really how things got so discombobulated." "Because it wasn't just me dropping my letter from Christina on his floor that day." "It was also ray getting that letter from that other bunch of big shots." ""Dear sir, this is"" "to inform you that some time between December 22nd" ""and December 29th..."" "December 29th." ""A representative from our"" "organization will be staying at the sky Mountain resort so that we may review your standards of service and publish a rating for your property in the new edition of the worthington travel guide, which is published" ""every two years."" "But that's like no warning." "Great, you know, another cold winter morning." "Hide the women and children and they're on their way." "Look, Phil," "I understand how you feel, but you gotta understand, man, it is very difficult to get in this book." "Hoo-boy, you're not kidding." "We've been calling and writing them letters for almost two years now." "So, who's coming?" "They don't tell you that." "Why not?" "Because if we knew, then we could... you know..." "Put on the dog for them." "And Betty..." "How's your staff?" "Okay." "(Sighs)" "Okay, well, good." "Time's a-wastin'." "Let's, uh..." "let's get to it." "No, I got one other place to review." "Yeah, that Indian place." "No, no, no, the Indian, like in teepee." "Yeah, well, they say Jane Fonda stayed there all the time, so I guess that gives them at least one star." "Like in the commie flag." "(Chuckles) Yeah." "Yeah, the day after tomorrow." "Laguardia." "Oh, no, you fathead," "I got that bash at the ritz." "Yeah." "No, I..." "I gotta go to my house in Denver, then I'll leave the car there first and I'll fly out." "No, I..." "I'm not gonna be able to see my daughter this time." "I... yeah, I'll catch up with her some other time." "Yeah, yeah." "Okay, okay." "Oh!" "Oh, blow it out your ear!" "(Chuckles)" "What?" "You want a tip?" "Here." "Go call the hotline for the half-witted and report yourself." "Geez." "Tip, tip, tip, tip, tip." "Woman: "Dear Christina", your letter came today." "It's been cold here, too, and I've barely had any time off, but I did get away for a walk in the mountains last week, and as I stopped to admire the view, and searched for the right words" ""to describe it to you..."" "I became aware of a bird circling overhead." "A hawk... not a big one, a smaller one." ""A little hawk."" ""Just like you."" "He knows you're coming." "Hey." "Hey." "What's with you, ma?" "He knows she's coming." "Who?" "Her penpal, that clouds on fire man." "He saw a hawk circling." "A little hawk, like her." "I thought you returned that ticket, Tina." "I tried, but it was non-refundable." "Oh, that's just what they say." "You just need a doctor's excuse." "No, it's okay." "I kinda wanna go anyway." "I thought you were saving your money." "He's got a red shirt and a little warrior animal that protects him." "A little turtle." "No... a hamster." "He could be a total nutcase." "I don't think so." "Honey, he hasn't even invited you." "Look, I'm gonna be using my address from Manhattan and dad's last name." "He's gonna think I'm Italian and from New York." "He's not even gonna know it's me." "Oh, yes, he will." "He's got the gift." "He'll think you're throwing yourself at him." "No, he won't." "You don't even know what he does for a living." "Oh, he's in charge of something, that one." "(Chuckles)" "And how do you know that?" "He's got a laser." "Laser printer, grammy." "And he's probably got a wife and four kids, too." "Well, then I'll find that out." "I don't know why you wanna go out there and make a fool of yourself." "I'm not gonna make a fool of myself." "Honey, men usually like to do the chasing." "They're not all like Henry." "Henry was a good man." "Yeah, he was a good man, but he should have carried life insurance." "I'm sorry, grammy," "I gotta go." "I gotta get back to work." "Welcome." "Hi." "Ray... (Scoffs)" "(Whispers) Be sensitive." "(Inhales deeply)" "Ray:" "He's already dead, you know." "You're just..." "Reorganizing the remains." "I'm perpetuating the cycle." "Earl, you're a chef." "Part of your job is cutting up and cooking dead animals." "They have dreams, you know." "Just like us." "Yeah, I know, I know." "I do, but..." "But, you know, that guide book, if they show up, and the menu's just vegetarian, well..." "You know, then we're gonna lose all the skiers and the fly fisherman." "I mean, all we're gonna have left is the people running around with their copies of black elk speaks, having, you know, four or five visions every couple of hours." "(Chuckles)" "Come on, Earl, you're the only chef we've got." "Look, I don't like this any more than you do." "We could feed the planet with all the grain we feed the cattle." "And people are beginning to realize that." "But you know what it's like?" "It-it's like cappuccino, right?" "And espresso." "I mean, they didn't catch on overnight." "There was, uh... an education process." "It's a consciousness thing," "Earl." "It just takes time." "And education." "So..." "They're just way too thick." "Well, they're Lenin table cloths." "They're supposed to be thick." "Well, I got two women working on them night and day and they're still full of wrinkles." "Well, did you try wettin' 'em down?" "Well, yeah." "How 'bout that stuff you put in your hair?" "(Laughs)" "It's a joke." "No, seriously, put 'em in the freezer." "My grandmother used to do that." "It works like a charm." "What about the kids... the kids?" "I heard that." "What kids?" "Well, all my girls have kids, ray, and school's on break... no." "And the daycare's... no." "No." "I'm sorry, no." "Oh, come on, ray." "We'll keep 'em outta the way." "You won't even see 'em." "Girls, look, you know I love the kids." "I love 'em with all my heart, but we cannot do this this week, and I'm sorry." "Then who's gonna watch 'em?" "I can't leave my two little ones alone all day." "(Sighs)" "Well, what about the seniors?" "Are you kidding?" "They have the Christmas bingo, they have the bus trip to the ice rink... yeah, and they're all booked up." "Come on, ray." "We'll keep 'em outside most of the time." "Please?" "All right, look..." "I'll think about it, all right?" "Here's your credit card back." "Thank you." "We have a Christmas Eve party with Billy trees and his big band." "Dancing?" "Yes." "Excellent." "I would recommend that you make reservations." "Would you do that for me?" "Yes, I will." "Now, you're in room 140." "It's a standard suite with a view of the mountains." "Lovely." "Thank you so much." "You're welcome." "(Rings bell)" "Nicholas?" "140, please." "Can you manage those?" "Woman on phone:" "Sky Mountain resort." "May I help you?" "I'll ring that room." "One moment please." "Oh, my God, it is so beautiful." "It is amazing." "Thank you so much." "Oh, no, thank you." "Oh, my... oh, my." "(Groans)" "Wonder if there's more like him." "(Strains)" "Let's go." "Okay." "Boy:" "Hey." "(Laughs)" "Move that side down." "No, the other one." "Lindsay fortune and Buffy love." "I smell a couple of ski bunnies." "Brian wescott from Fairbanks," "Alaska." "The vacuum cleaner salesman." "That's right." "I think you're doing the right thing, Tina." "I think Joe clouds on fire is a good man." "And don't worry about looking foolish." "When I decided I wanted to be with your grandfather," "I took the first step, too." "I made him a pair of moccasins and put them by his door." "He could've said no, but that's the chance I took." "And you know he wore those moccasins until he wore them out." "(Laughs)" "And, every night, he thanked me for the courage I had to make them." "These are the beads from those moccasins." "(Speaks native language)" "Try to get some sleep on the plane, and will you call us when you get there?" "(Turns engine off)" "**" "Woman:" "Hey, ed, come on." "Boy:" "What did you make for dinner?" "(Gasps)" "But, buffalo thunder, what will everyone say?" "I don't care, Vanessa." "All I want is you." "All that matters is that we be together..." "Forever." "Hey!" "Nope, nope, nope, nope!" "Give it!" "Reading time." "It's reading..." "Patience." "It's reading time." ""He held her in his arms,"" "the cold rain beating relentlessly down upon the teepee." "She tried to pull away." "'No, please, ' she whispered." "'We can't.' but his eyes were piercing through her, and his desire was as hot and plain as the fire beside them." "Vanessa knew it was no use." "Buffalo thunder would have" ""his way... again."" "No, no!" "No!" "No!" "Gimme that!" "You're not getting the book." "Hey." "Yep, uh-huh." "Yep." "That'll work." "(Sighs)" "(Children giggle)" "Hey!" "Hey, hey!" "Hey, hey!" "Hey, no!" "What are you doing?" "Computer:" "You've got mail." "Ray:" "Am I crazy?" "Hmm?" "Is this just some silly idea that I've come up with?" "Because if it is, please, let's just forget the whole thing and we can save ourselves a lot of trouble." "Ray, the hanford's in this stupid book." "It got two stars, ray." "Two stars." "Geez." "Yeah." "Yeah, the hanford." "I know all about the hanford," "Phil... the big hanford." "Who cares, okay?" "You know what?" "Let's take our cue from the hanford." "Okay?" "They wouldn't even let us in there until a couple of years ago." "And so what?" "So they're big and they're famous." "Who cares?" "I mean, who owns these guys, anyway?" "Some multinational corporation?" "Our people... our nation built this place, okay?" "We own it and we run it and I am damn proud of that." "But you wanna know something?" "There aren't a lot of paying customers who even know we exist, you know?" "And I am sick and I am tired of watching these tourists just drive by here." "Now, we need this guide book, like it or not." "And..." "I dunno." "I dunno, maybe you all think it's a waste of time to even try." "I don't know anymore." "But I'm gonna tell you something." "If we try, if we really put our hearts into it," "I think we can get four stars in this thing, and I think we can show those idiots up at the hanford that we know something!" "Now, come on!" "Who's with me on this?" "I am!" "Woman on phone:" "I'll ring that room for you." "Please hold." "(Whispers)" "Hey, ray." "When's that meeting'?" "If we botch this job, the chief is gonna transfer us from the raiding body to the skinning and tanning pen." "I'm not so sure I wouldn't like that better." "Never mind." "To capture that wagonload of guns is gonna take some real brainpower." "(Mouse squeaks)" "If you need anything, you know, just ask any of the maids, you know... maybe help to take care of my kids sometime." "Yeah." "Yee-hee!" "Oh... well..." "It's down to this one guy." "Stuart O'Malley." "He checks in tomorrow." "Otherwise, that's it." "I mean, all we got are family and groups this week." "Unless they're gonna chance it without a reservation." "Yeah, you never know." "(Sighs)" "Sorry about that thing with Phil today." "I wasn't actually reading that stupid old romance novel." "It was Betty." "She left it at my house, so I was gonna bring it back to her, so naturally, I brought it..." "Into work with me..." "And I thought I'd give it to her after I had my sex change operation." "What do you think?" "Yeah." "Yeah, no, that's a great idea." "(Sighs)" "Ray." "We're gonna be just fine." "We're gonna be okay." "You gave a great speech, and I think it's gonna snow." "Hey, a bunch of us are gonna go bowling tonight over in emerson." "You wanna come along?" "Yeah, thanks, but, uh..." "I got some work I can do tonight, and, uh... you know, a big day tomorrow, so..." "Some other time, all right?" "Okay." "Hey, mar?" "Hmm?" "Maybe I can get the tribal council to help you out with that operation." "Devil." "**" "News on TV:" "Our top story..." "The winter of no snow." "It still looks like some other time of the year out there, so folks are starting to wonder if they should trade in their skis and snowboards for Mountain bikes." "We haven't had a winter this late since... (clicks off)" "Mary:" "Can you take a look at these?" "Sure." "Hey, mar, have you seen my father yet today?" "I think he might be downstairs." "All right, thanks." "Do you have a reservation?" "O'Malley." "Well, I'll have to check that file." "Just a moment, please." "I'll check." "Yeah." "(Rings bell)" "(Rings bell again)" "(Rings bell several times)" "(Loudly) Oh!" "I don't think so." "Hey, look." "It's warrior mouse." "**" "(squeaks)" "Oh, no." "It got away." "Here, mousey, mousey, mousey." "Here." "Here, mousey." "Boy:" "Aw, let him go." "You probably poisoned him anyway by putting all that paint on him." "Mary on phone:" "I'll ring that room for you." "Please hold." "Thank you." "Hi, I have a reservation under the name of Tina pisati." "Fred, uh, isn't it time for your break?" "Look at that." "What are you doin' here?" "Get, get, get, get." "Hi." "Hi." "Um, I have a reservation under Tina pisati." "Pisati." "P-i-z?" "S... a-t-i." "Okay." "Mm-hmm." "Hmm." "And you're from?" "New York." "Really?" "I'll just check for manual, here." "Um, I made the reservation about two weeks ago." "Yeah?" "Are you here on, uh, business, or, uh..." "Just vacationing?" "Um, I'm just vacationing." "Well... ooh!" "Well, aren't you in luck." "We've just had a cancellation, and the west Mountain suite is available." "(Chuckles)" "It sounds great, but I'm on a bit of a limited budget, and I don't think I can afford that." "Oh, it's no extra charge." "We do it all the time." "Oh." "Oh, well, thank you." "You're welcome." "Ben." "Thank you very much." "Mm-hmm." "In here." "Ray!" "It's a woman!" "It's a woman!" "She's a woman!" "The guide book..." "They sent a woman." "Tina pisan?" "Who wants this?" "You did." "Tina pisati from New York." "(Sighs)" "I asked her if she was here on business." "She said no." "I know a professional when I see one." "Ooh, and she's good." "How old is she?" "I don't know." "Where'd you put her?" "West Mountain suite." "Well, she's gonna know we're on to her." "No, no, no." "No." "It's okay, really." "I told her we just had a cancellation." "I told her it was normal." "Oh... and I'm gonna ask Earl to make at least two pasta dishes." "How 'bout that?" "Why?" "Oh, ray." "Tina pisati?" "From New York?" "Oh, my God." "What?" "Quick, come on, come on, come on." "Come on!" "What?" "It's her." "Are you sure about this?" "Bet you 20 bucks." "Dark hair." "Nice coat." "Wow." "It's a woman." "(Phil chuckles)" "I wonder if she skis." "No, Phil, she's not a ski bunny." "Oh, come on, ray." "There's a little ski bunny in..." "Well, almost every woman." "Hey, Louise." "Hey." "Gonna be ready to turn off the hot water for about ten minutes, and I was wondering if there's anybody in the rooms." "No, they're all out and about." "(Scoffs) Dog." "Hot water." "(Chuckles)" "We haven't had a winter this late since 1945." "Meanwhile, the northeast part of the country is digging out from record high levels of snow." "Airports and highways are closed from Chicago to Philadelphia." "In one day, a surprise storm has dumped as much as three feet of snow across the eastern seaboard, closing most major highways and virtually every airport... oh, no." "Between Boston and Philadelphia." "Oh, no." "No, come on." "Oh, shoot." "And laguardia airports are all closed." "Amtrak is even shutting down rail operations... oh!" "Nothing is moving." "All of this has left thousands of holiday travelers stranded." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aaahh!" "What happened to the hot water?" "!" "There's no freakin' hot water!" "Oh, goodness gracious!" "I'm right in the middle of the shower and the water turned off!" "You don't call this hot water?" "I don't appreciate people yelling like that around my daughter." "Do you have kids?" "Grandkids?" "Do you yell at them like that?" "You got a problem, mister." "A serious problem." "Mary:" "Tell her we get about a third of our business from overseas." "We'll get into the international edition." "Just work it in." "It's 32%." "Look, she's not supposed to know we know, okay?" "Maybe I should talk to her." "No." "I'll handle this." "Mara: 32%!" "Hi." "Hi." "That's a lomahaftewa." "It's incredible." "Yeah, isn't it?" "I'm ray clouds on fire." "I'm the general manager here." "You just check in?" "Um... yeah." "Yeah, I did..." "I just checked in." "Well, hi." "Hi." "Welcome." "Thank you." "(Chuckles)" "I'm Tina... pisati." "Oh. (Chuckles)" "It's nice to meet you." "Nice meeting you." "So, where are you from?" "New York." "Wow, you know, we're gettin' a lot of people from the east coast these days." "And, um... and Europe, and Asia, too, as it turns out." "So, you're, uh..." "You're an art lover." "Yeah." "It's a passion of mine." "Yeah, me too." "This one's pretty, isn't it?" "It's beautiful." "Actually, we have, uh..." "We have a gallery down the hall, there." "Oh, you know what?" "Listen, I need to take care of something, but, uh, let me know if I can do anything for you, okay?" "Okay." "All right." "It was nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "Enjoy your stay." "I will." "Thanks." "TV:" "Environmental protection was the order of the day in emerson with a groundbreaking ceremony in a new... yeah, we're here to talk about booze, I guess, and, uh, I'm an expert, let me tell you." "I was drinkin' about two quarts a day when I started seeing things..." "Things that just weren't there, like this one time," "I thought a family of chipmunks was living with me, man." "I mean, it was crazy." "That's what the alcohol was doing to me." "And I became friends with 'em." "I was puttin' out food," "I was puttin' out water." "Then they started wearing clothes, like little suits and dresses." "Halloween costumes." "I mean, these guys rocked, you know?" "And we'd be partying together and drinkin' and stuff." "You know, they were mostly into beer, but that was cool." "And, um, I mean, it was fantastic, man." "But anyway, um, I knew chipmunks never wore clothes, so I had to be seeing things, right?" "But that's when I knew" "I had to get help." "I had to stop drinking." "(Applause)" "Yeah, and I know there's a lot of you out there who are in denial, and you all know who you are, man." "You know who you are." "I'm not gonna mention any names, you know, but you know who you are, man, so you should all clean yourselves up, man." "Take my advice, all right?" "Well, maybe his name is Joe." "Yeah, but it's not like anybody calls me Christina." "No, it wasn't red." "It was a blue shirt." "Yeah, but he actually..." "Yeah?" "No, but he had my letter in his pocket." "He was a code writer in world war ii." "Really?" "Mm-hmm." "Transcribed all the messages into our language." "The enemy couldn't break the code." "Oh." "Hello." "I don't mean to stop you," "I'm just admiring how fast you type." "It's wonderful." "And you speak your own language, too, I hear." "(Sighs) Yeah." "I hear okay, too." "My name's mabel, and I'd love to learn a few native words." "How do you say hello?" "(Stops typing)" "(Sighs)" "(Speaks native language)" "And how do you say thank you?" "(Speaks native language)" "(Clears throat)" "Excuse me." "Could you say that again..." "Slowly?" "(Chuckles)" "Yeah." "Three nights of freezing, and the snow will stick." "I've used this machinery before." "Yes, I have." "No, this is used machinery, and this price is ridiculous." "I have the invoice right in front of me." "'Scuse me." "'Scuse me just for a second." "What are you doing?" "I need the wrench." "What wrench, dad?" "There is no wrench in there." "Yeah, there's a wrench in there." "No, there's not." "Ah!" "(Chuckles)" "I'll..." "I'll call you back." "You ever gonna spring for postage there, Romeo?" "Oh, yeah." "Oh, no, no, no..." "It's... it's complimentary." "But even normally, the package includes everything." "There's no extra charge." "That's incredible." "Thank you so much." "You're welcome." "You'll have a great time." "Uh, listen, Mary," "I need you to... oh, hi." "Hi." "How are you?" "I'm great." "How are you?" "I'm fine, thank you very much." "Oh." "Mary, I..." "I'm sorry, I was looking for the, uh..." "Mary:" "Dobson." "Exactly." "I'm still adding it up." "I'll get it." "Okay." "Thank you." "So, are you, uh..." "Are you settling in nicely?" "Yes, thank you." "I was just being briefed on the activities that you have here." "Well, there's a lot to do." "It's a fun place." "Mary:" "I still need this, though." "Oh, okay." "Thanks very much." "Mm-hmm." "Well, listen." "I hope you're enjoying yourself." "Thanks." "And you let me know if I can do anything at all for you." "I will." "Thanks." "All right." "It's good to see you." "Good to see you." "Can I borrow a pen?" "All right." "Give her some gas." "(Engine sputters)" "(Coughs)" "That's the last damn time" "I ever buy an apache!" "Oh, come on, Joe, what do you want?" "It lasted 30 years." "Or that cherokee!" "Oh, don't get me started with that stupid bingo, giving away a cherokee." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "What happened?" "Oh, clouds on fire's old truck's... on fire." "(Explosion)" "So, uh... how was shopping?" "It was great." "How was your day?" "Eh, you know." "Can't complain." "(Speaks native language)" "Oh, yeah." "Thank you for sharing." "(Explosion)" "(Chuckles)" "So, uh, what nation are you?" "I'm a mix." "Blackfoot, salish, ute, and cree." "Sounds like a law firm." "What's your name, little girl?" "**" "I'm just dropping off some information." "Uh, sure." "Hi." "Hi." "Thanks, I'd love to." "Oh." "Oh, great." "So, what do you recommend?" "You know, the Turkey is always good." "This Turkey is so good." "Is it range-grown?" "Old Edgar here?" "No, no." "He was a pet." "Or, you know what?" "You could try the buffalo." "You know, it's kind of a local favorite." "I think it's best probably served like, uh, medium..." "Medium-rare... "mmr" kind of..." "That's the way we put it down on our tickets, at least, you know, kind of a short..." "Short version." "This particular buffalo had an onscreen performance in the movie dances with wolves." "I don't think he ever got over it, 'cause he used to take pictures with the tourists, and let the little kids ride him." "We called him..." "Kevin." "(Sniffs)" "Actually, you know what?" "The rabbit is actually excellent as well." "I mean, really tender." "I think you'd like that." "This little bunny wasn't a pet." "He grew up in the wild." "I imagine he was quite tame." "It's usually the friendly ones that get hunted down first." "No, I don't want it." "Thank you." "I don't want it." "(Laughs)" "So, when the animal has completely bled to death, we rip the flesh from its bones and marinate it in a herb seasoning." "Then it's roasted in our special ovens." "Excuse me just for one moment." "Sorry." "You all right, sir?" "(Vomits)" "Hey, where you been?" "I thought we said 7:30." "We did?" "Ray, you gotta practice a little if you're gonna win anything at all." "Oh, man, dad, I'm sorry." "I totally forgot." "It's okay." "I got it all set up." "Listen, I'll call it, and we'll see how many cards you can play at once." "No, no... what I mean is," "I'm having dinner downstairs, and, uh, it's business... well, when's it over?" "Well, I don't know, exactly." "Look, it doesn't matter." "I'm not any good at bingo anyway." "Listen, you just gotta practice a little." "Ray, there are families of ten playing' for that jeep, and each of 'em is playing ten or more cards at a time." "Well, we can't compete with that." "Look, if you want a new truck, we'll get you one, okay?" "I want this one." "Man, I gotta get some new clothes." "God..." "I'm so sorry." "I'm really embarrassed." "Took a lot longer than I thought it would, and... you changed your shirt." "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah, I did." "It's red." "Yeah." "Yeah, it is." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "How was your dinner?" "Oh, it was great, thank you." "Earl, this is Tina." "Au chaunte." "Oh, you didn't have the Turkey, did you?" "No, it was the eggplant." "I'm... a vegetarian." "Oh..." "Earl, um, don't you have a soufflé in the oven or something?" "Oh, yes, I do." "You know, before he came back, he actually studied in France for a couple of years." "Oh, did he?" "Yeah." "Well, it was an incredible meal." "Thank you." "Really?" "You liked it?" "Really." "Really." "I'd give it five stars." "Really?" "Wow." "Puts out a lot of heat, doesn't it?" "Yeah, that's about 35,000 btus you're lookin' at, there." "We're pretty proud of it." "We just had it replaced back in June, so, uh..." "It must be really difficult for you when there's not a lot of snow here." "Yeah, well..." "You know, technically, it's the lightest amount of recorded snowfall by this time in about 55 years, but, uh, what are you gonna do?" "That's life, right?" "Yeah." "Hey, thanks for dinner." "I had a really good time." "So did I." "I appreciate you joining me." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Have a good night." "Thanks." "Ray?" "Yeah?" "So... what do people do around here on weekends?" "Weekends, weekends..." "Well, um, I work... normally." "Every weekend?" "Yeah." "Yeah, pretty much." "Exciting life, huh?" "Hmm." "Why?" "You have something in mind?" "92 degrees year-round." "What do you think?" "It's lovely." "(Chuckles)" "So... what exactly do you do in New York?" "What do you mean, "do"?" "You know, for a living." "Oh, God, don't ask me that." "Why not?" "Because I hate my job." "Oh, come on, it can't be that bad." "It is." "(Laughs)" "It most certainly is." "I just took it because it was the only job I could find and I really needed one." "But it has absolutely nothing to do with what I really want to do." "What do you really want to do?" "I wanna teach." "Really?" "Yeah." "I did some subbing last winter." "I try to do it as often as I can, but..." "It's kinda hard to call in sick." "But I decided that I was gonna go back to school and get my teaching credential." "You know, my mom was a teacher." "She, uh... she loved it, too." "She really did." "She taught third grade." "Is she retired?" "No." "No, actually, uh, she passed away a while ago." "Oh, my God." "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "Christina:" "I'm serious." "Ray:" "You are powerless against me." "I'm telling you right now, okay?" "I really can't." "Try it." "Try it." "I can't." "Here it comes." "Into the... ah, psyche." "(Chuckles)" "My grandfather was legendary among our people as being a great hunter and tracker." "He was called standing elk shadow because he crept up so close to an elk once he was inside its shadow before it even knew he was there." "But, uh, one winter, everyone got sick, and he had to go off alone and hunt." "And he was gone for a really long time." "In fact, everyone thought that he was dead, and, you know, that they would die too because he had been their only hope." "But, one night, when the sky was lit up kind of like it is tonight..." "He came back." "He came back with an enormous bear that he had killed." "And everyone ate and they got well again." "So, after that, he was called the man who came back with the bear when the clouds were on fire." "That's a great story." "Thanks." "I haven't told it in a while." "So, you're the one from Greenland, huh?" "Yes, I am." "Your aunt's Ruth hepaburtz." "Mm-hmm." "She and my mom are really good friends." "Good." "Bunny." "Come here." "Uh-oh." "You're a good artist." "Well, thank you." "Is there poison in paint?" "That depends on the paint." "You didn't eat paint, did you?" "No." "Did somebody else?" "No." "Good." "What's your name?" "Katie." "Hello." "I'm mabel." "Hello, mabel." "Do you like to paint, Katie?" "I'm not very good at it." "Well, neither am I, but you can't let that stop you." "Would you like to have a go?" "Yes." "Look..." "Here's a nice, clean piece of paper." "And there we've got some nice brushes." "You choose one." "(Phone beeps, dial tone)" "(Dialing)" "(Phone rings)" "(Phone rings)" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "**" "(crying softly)" "(Birds chirping)" "I can always tell when a big storm is comin'." "I get real sleepy before it hits." "That day was no exception." "This was the big night." "That cherokee would be won by somebody, and I'd seen myself driving it." "But the same event that made my getting there more crucial had also made my getting there more difficult." "I had no wheels." "And by the time I woke up," "I had missed my ride to the bingo." "It's snowing, it's snowing!" "It's here, it's here!" "It's here!" "Yes!" "Thank you." "It's here." "**" "The big shot was totally preoccupied." "Mary had just bought a new used car and didn't want it driven in the weather." "And, Phil, he was working up to another big date with the ski bunnies." "**" "So, things were looking kind of grim... (Door closes)" "Until I caught sight of stu O'Malley." "Now, after the night before, he'd been nicknamed" ""spew O'Malley."" "(Laughs)" "But I'd seen the guy arrive, and I knew he was driving a big ol' buick with some pretty good snow tires on it." "I made my move." "(Exhales)" "People who drink often enjoy gambling, as well." "I told him it was high stakes." "I didn't tell him it was bingo." "(People chattering)" "Woman:" "Ante up." "(Chattering continues)" "Listen, you sit over here, and they'll tell ya what to do." "Okay?" "I'll be right back." "Woman:" "Ante up." "(Chattering continues)" "All right." "Okay, can I have your attention?" "Thank you." "How're you all doing?" "Tonight we have a special treat." "He's visiting relatives not far from here, and he's kindly agreed to join us." "Calling our holiday bingo, we have the one, the only, wes studi!" "(Crowd cheers, applauds)" "(Crowd roars, whistles)" "(Chanting)" "It's great to be here!" "On my way here, you know," "I had to stop at a couple of places, and everybody wants to know what it is about my outfit here." "(Man laughs)" "It's simple..." "My wife dresses me." "(All laugh)" "Any of you guys have that problem?" "No?" "In my case, it's a little bit more complicated, because my wife is Scottish." "(All laugh)" "But, in any case," "I think maybe we ought to play some bingo." "Are you guys any good at bingo?" "(All cheer)" "Yeah?" "Well, then let's play some bingo!" "Shake those balls!" "I'll see you later, spike." "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "(Woman whistles)" "And..." "The first number is..." "N37!" "N37!" "The second winning number is..." "N39!" "N39!" "(Exhales)" "Why don't I call room service and ask them to send some tea up?" "Great." "Thank you." "Are you all right?" "Um... yeah, yeah." "Um... but there's something" "I have to tell you." "Okay." "(Sighs softly)" "Look, I'm really sorry, but..." "But I..." "I know who you are." "You do?" "(Chuckles)" "Why would you be sorry?" "Well..." "I mean," "I..." "I wasn't supposed to know who you were, right?" "Right, yeah." "I was gonna keep it a secret from you for about another ten seconds." "(Both chuckle)" "What, you mean you were gonna tell me?" "Of course!" "That is strange, isn't it?" "Mm-hmm." "I really..." "Really wasn't expecting anything like this to happen." "You know?" "Yeah, me neither." "I mean..." "I guess I just didn't know..." "What I was supposed to think." "You wanna know what I think?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's lookin' pretty bad here, too." "Okay." "Okay, I understand." "Will be g52!" "G52!" "(People chattering)" "And the next one is..." "I'm sorry, people." "That storm's gettin' really bad out there." "I'm afraid of the roads closing." "This is it." "This is for the cherokee!" "Are we ready..." "To play for the cherokee?" "Yes?" "And now the first number is..." "N42!" "N42!" "And now we have..." "B04!" "B04!" "G50!" "Like I keep telling my sister-in-law," ""gee, you don't look 50!"" "And your next big number is..." "G55!" "B?" "What?" "G55!" "Now we have o69!" "I18!" "Man:" "Bingo!" "All:" "Aw!" "We have a bingo over here!" "We have a bingo over here." "Let's verify the card." "Let's verify the card." "(People cheer, applaud)" "**" "(people cheering loudly)" "Golly, I never even played before!" "(Cheering continues)" "(Chuckles)" "(All laugh)" "(All applauding)" "(Camera shutter clicks)" "(Engine starts up)" "You ever win anything," "I mean, big like this?" "No." "But I only had one more to go on at least ten of those cards." "Yeah, me neither." "I never won a damn thing before." "(Laughing)" "High stakes." "(Continues laughing)" "You really had me going on that one." "What?" "You mad at me?" "For winning?" "Huh!" "Gee." "Talk about a poor sport." "Yeah, well, just take the next left up there." "It's a shortcut." "**" "(inhales)" "So how long can you stay?" "I have to leave on Sunday." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." "That's way too soon." "Don't you have some vacation time coming or something like that?" "Mm-mm, no." "I don't think" "I can change my ticket." "Why not?" "It's a supersaver." "(Chuckles)" "(Chuckles)" "Oh, really..." "Of course, I don't know." "It looks like" "I may be snowed in." "Oh... you're..." "You're definitely snowed in." "(Chuckles)" "You are very, very snowed in." "**" "(sighs loudly)" "**" "(snoring softly)" "What?" "Hi." "Oh..." "Hey, there." "How are you?" "I'm good now." "(Both chuckle)" "(Knock on door)" "That must be breakfast." "Oh!" "(Yawning) Great." "I'm starving." "(Gasps)" "No, don't open the door!" "Don't open... what are you doing?" "Just don't open it." "Hold on one sec." "Okay, open the door." "Open it." "Hi." "Thank you." "Thanks very much." "Uh, so, uh, what did she do, go home for the holidays?" "Who?" "Your girlfriend." "What girlfriend?" "What was all this, uh, hoopty-doo for?" "You don't want anyone to know you were here last night." "Well, no, I don't." "I mean, really, Tina," "I..." "I think we should at least try and keep this separate, don't you?" "What do you mean, separate?" "Well, I mean, you know, otherwise, it'll look like this influenced you." "Look..." "I've worked really hard on this, and I..." "I think that what we have here is very special." "Well, so do I." "Well, good." "So, uh, you know, just, uh, make your assessments based on all the other things, and, uh..." "And don't be influenced by this, okay?" "By what?" "By this!" "By last night!" "(Quietly) I can't..." "Made it alive." "You do have a girlfriend." "No." "No, I don't." "Then why can't this influence me?" "I mean, come on, Tina." "Would it normally?" "Well... (Chuckles)" "God, ray, come on." "This isn't the 19th century." "Yeah, I do think chemistry should count for something." "Well, yeah, so do I, but, you know, in this case..." "What... what is this?" "Is this like a regular thing for you?" "Well, no, but... but it's happened before?" "Huh?" "It has... hasn't it?" "What is this?" "I don't know." "Maybe you should tell me." "Ray, it's not like it's gonna count against you." "But that's just the point." "I mean, it shouldn't count at all." "What?" "Look, I think the standards that I've set here should speak for themselves." "What standards?" "(Fumbles for words)" "This is a first-class resort." "Yeah, so?" "So?" "Look, I just want you to be objective." "That's all I'm saying, geez." "(Sighs)" "Why?" "(Sighs)" "(Sighs)" "Think about my staff here for a second, okay?" "All right?" "Now think..." "Think about their morale." "Your staff?" "Yeah. (Sighs)" "Look, they know who you are, okay?" "You told your staff about me?" "Well, Mary figured it out first." "Who's Mary?" "Oh..." "I'm sorry." "She's the woman at the front desk." "Oh." "Well, how'd she know who I was?" "Well, you said you were from New York and all, so she just put two and two together, and... (Chuckles)" "Look, she's my assistant." "She's really helpful to me." "Well, how very nice for ya." "What'd she do, help you write the letters, too?" "Yeah, yeah, she wrote some of 'em." "What?" "(Sighs)" "Look, she handles all of my correspondence." "Besides, it's..." "It's good for training." "For what?" "Oh, I don't know." "Um... marketing?" "Tina, I can't do everything around here, okay?" "I mean, I have to delegate some things." "(Scoffs)" "Ow!" "(Phone ringing)" "Your dad's missin'." "He never made it home from the bingo last night." "**" "(snoring)" "(Mumbling)" "(Groans loudly)" "(Snoring continues)" "Get off me!" "Get off me, God dammit!" "Oh!" "What..." "What's on my leg?" "On my leg hair..." "On the hair!" "Oh..." "I put a splint on it." "You broke it." "(Sighs)" "Shh." "Shh." "Where are we?" "Oh, now you got to the really good news, huh." "**" "(officer sighs)" "Well, he hasn't seen him, but we're gonna keep lookin'." "**" "Officer:" "He's fine, ray." "They're just snowed in somewhere." "God, I can't believe he treated you like that." "What a jerk." "Yeah, and I thought he was writing business letters." "Yeah." "He really has a problem." "He doesn't trust women." "Who could blame him after what happened with his wife?" "Oh, yeah..." "What happened with his wife?" "Well, she cheated on him, and he caught her red-handed." "Ugh..." "Yeah, you don't know that." "Oh, come on!" "Everybody knows that." "Well, something happened." "Yeah, something bad." "He's never dated anyone ever since, till you came around." "Yeah, not even that model last summer." "Oh, yeah!" "I forgot about her." "I mean, she was really pretty." "(Sobs)" "**" "Oh, my God." "Dad!" "Dad!" "They're not in here!" "Okay, ray, this is a good sign." "This means they're well enough to go get help." "Dad!" "Dad!" "("Dad" echoes)" "**" "You got any kids?" "Yeah... one." "How about you?" "Yeah, same here." "A daughter." "Any grandkids?" "Two." "I never met 'em yet." "Why not?" "Oh... my daughter married an idiot." "Seems happy enough with him." "Oh, I..." "I don't know." "So, she has two kids, huh?" "Yeah, two boys." "(Chuckles)" "I saw 'em the other day, running around." "They're pretty cute." "You saw 'em the other day?" "You know, I was thinking, my daughter went to an Indian camp when she was a kid, in the summer." ""Eagle's nest."" "On lake Michigan." "She won a big award one summer." "They gave her a blue feather." "It was quite an honor." "And only one kid got it every summer." "(Chuckles)" "Probably sounds like a bunch of bullshit to you." "(Sighs)" "My son went to camp wakaneeka at lake Paul." "He won the white feather." "It was a pretty big deal, too." "(Chuckles)" "Listen, Katie, I know mice." "If he didn't like that feather, he'd have found a way to get rid of it." "And that glue was not poisonous." "Your warrior mouse is just fine." "Excuse me!" "Have you seen a mouse that looks just like this, but it's alive?" "No, I haven't." "Did you lose your mouse?" "He's probably in a little mouse house somewhere, all snuggled in for the night." "Oh, I'm sure he's having a little adventure." "Mice are very adventurous." "Why do you look so sad?" "It's Christmas Eve!" "We're not gonna get anything this year." "There's a big party in the hotel tonight." "There's gonna be lots of candy and cookies and hot chocolate." "Would you like to come with me?" "Mmm?" "We'll find you something pretty to wear." "Okay." "It's a deal." "Bye." "Bye-bye." "Bye." "Ray..." "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "No." "No." "Ray, I need to talk... look, I said no." "I'm dealing with something that's just a little bit more important right now, okay?" "All right." "(Group sings silent night" "(in native language)" "(Singing continues)" "(All applauding)" "(Both chuckle)" "(Applause continues)" "(Squeaking)" "(Squeaking continues)" "(Chuckles)" "Hey, there." "(Bird calls)" "(Engine starts up)" "(Engine roars)" "Boy:" "Whoa!" "Girl:" "Cool!" "Woman:" "Oh, look at that." "Boy:" "Whoa!" "Chelsea, have you seen this?" "Question... how does it work?" "What did you get?" "Woman:" "Oh, look at that." "Boy:" "That's my bow!" "(All chattering)" "What is that?" "All right, you guys ready for your gifts?" "Kids:" "Yeah!" "I don't hear you." "Yeah!" "All right." "Go ahead, get 'em!" "Make sure your name's on it." "Will you help Joe get his gift, please?" "Come on." "(All chattering)" "Dexter, yours is over there." "(Group singing silent night" "(in native language)" "(Chattering continues)" "(Singing continues)" "(Mouse squeaking)" "(Sniffs)" "(Sighs)" "(Bird calls)" "What's that?" "You got something to eat?" "No." "We're running out of wood, aren't we." "Yup." "Well, what happens when it's gone?" "I don't know." "You turn into a whiskey pop?" "(Laughs)" "They're not gonna find us, are they." "(Coughs)" "Oh, we'll be okay." "I'm gonna hike out of here in a little while." "Why don't you do it now?" "Because it's better to stay warm as long as you can, cowboy." "You always wait a little while until they come to you." "Gee, thanks for the safety tip." "Well, why didn't we stay with the vehicle?" "Isn't that what you're supposed to do?" "We did..." "Till it ran out of gas." "They only put in a couple gallons, you know." "You're still mad that I won it, aren't ya?" "No." "I was really tickled pink." "We all were." "The way you charmed us to pieces with your sparkling personality there." "(Splint clanks)" "(Groans)" "(Laughs) Oh, sorry." "**" "(engine roaring)" "Where you going?" "I-it's okay." "You just get a little more rest, huh." "No." "That's how you die..." "You freeze to death." "No, you're gonna be okay." "How do you know?" "Because I'm gonna go get some help." "I'm gonna go see if" "I can find that hawk." "Wh-what hawk?" "You just rest." "You'll be fine." "No, no, wait!" "J-just..." "Just listen a minute, okay?" "I..." "I want you to do something for me." "I mean, if..." "If help doesn't come in time..." "I..." "Look..." "You're gonna be fine." "You know, I think you're gonna be fine." "But, you know, if you have some kind of fit a- and die before I get back, well, then I..." "I promise I'll tell your daughter that you loved her, and the kids, too, and, uh, that your last regret was that you didn't go on in there and visit them the other day, okay?" "Are you makin' fun of me?" "No, no." "But that's just exactly what I'll tell her." "And if something unexpected happens to me, then I want you to tell my son that I, uh..." "I'm real sorry that I never got to meet my grandkids, okay?" "I thought you didn't have any." "I don't." "**" "(walela sings the warrior) * oh, I've been searching * for my warrior" "* I've been walking * down tracks of time * it's such a struggle * to seek forgiveness * like chains and shackles * these ghosts of mine * oh, oh, oh * crossing over heaven's sea" "* where my warrior * is waiting for me * crossing over heaven's sea * where my warrior * is waiting for me" "* LA, LA, LA, LA" "* LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA * feels like I'm dancing..." "God!" "* truth and wisdom * precious rhythm..." "Dad." "Yeah." "You okay?" "(Sighs)" "Can you help me up?" "Yeah, uh-huh." "* my heart is humble * oh, warrior, show me... (Both breathing heavily)" "Woman:" "I see somebody." "(Groaning)" "Are you a doctor?" "Well, yes." "I only practice part-time these days." "Oh." "Well, he's..." "He's been in and out." "It's really been bad." "Um, I..." "I kept him hydrated, and I kept the leg still." "You did a really good job." "Mr. O'Malley, can I call anyone for you?" "Any family nearby?" "Any friends?" "No, just get me to the hospital!" "M- my insurance stuff is in my pocket." "(Groaning)" "(Mumbles)" "Really?" "Leave it with me." "Psst." "You should talk to this guy sometime." "He's with some kind of a travel agency." ""A worthington guide"?" "(Sighs)" "What?" "You have to do it again." "Oh, please?" "Please, just one more time?" "(Sighs)" "Okay, but this is it." "(In a deep voice)" "It's a good day... (chuckles)" "It's a good day to dine." "(Both laugh, applaud)" "I see you had the tofu tackle." "Lovely choice." "And may I recommend for dessert the pine nut pancake with papaya and apricot sorbet." "(Chattering)" "Uh, may I recommend the tahini tamale or the zucchini cannelloni or... the Swiss chard lasagna." "Mmm." "Phil, have you seen Tina?" "Joe!" "Hi, Phil." "Hi." "Hey, Joe." "We've been worried about you." "Hi." "I'm okay, I'm okay." "Mary, have you seen Tina?" "Where were you?" "Huh?" "Come here." "Oh, it's a long story." "Listen, have you seen Tina?" "Why, you wanna break her heart again?" "(Chuckling) Gee." "(Vacuum hums)" "Betty, have you seen Tina?" "No." "Hey!" "That's one of my letters!" "She's your penpal?" "The guidebook woman?" "She's with that guidebook, too?" "Tina!" "Tina, listen." "No, wait, really." "Listen." "There's been a really, really big mix-up." "I thought..." "I thought that you were somebody else and that you were here on business." "It doesn't matter." "Look, the point is..." "The point is that..." "That I didn't write these." "I didn't." "Then who did?" "(Pants)" "Christina?" "Joe?" "(Chuckles)" "I thought you were a little older." "I thought you were a little younger." "It's nice to meet you anyway." "(Sighs)" "(Laughs)" "Uh, would you like a cup of cocoa?" "Yeah." "Yeah?" "Come on." "Listen..." "W-wait... wait a second." "**" "Daddy?" "Hi!" "Oh, it's good to see you." "Oh..." "You, too." "I'm glad you had that old chief call me." "Oh, yeah." "He's a good man." "I have missed you." "Me, too." "Me, too." "**" "Huh." "Your dad sure can pick 'em, huh?" "(Chuckles)" "Strange, though." "When he used to talk about her," "I always pictured this wrinkled old lady." "I guess that's because she was a widow." "Mm-hmm." "Want a chip?" "(Chuckles)" "I got work to do." "(Tina laughs)" "**" "Why don't you just write her another one of those love letters?" "Why don't you just go back to work?" "(Chuckles)" "(Bell dings)" "(Conversing quietly)" "Hey, what is this?" "Here." "It's yours, for saving my life." "Uh... (Attempts to speak" "(native language)" "(Chuckles)" "(Sighs)" "(Chuckles)" "Thank you." "(Phone rings in distance)" "(Bell dings)" "Mary:" "Oh, no, she's leaving." "(Whispering)" "**" "(clears throat)" ""The pain from his wound"" "was enormous." "And the dust from the plains had kicked up to sting his face and obscure all vision." "But buffalo thunder rode like the wind after that wagon train." "And soon the pounding of his horse's hooves became the beating of." "Vanessa's heart, willing him closer and closer." "And all her denials were" ""but the dust in his eyes."" "(Sniffles)" "(Scoffs)" "What is this?" "The Indian chapter of the romance book club?" "Look, I'm busy here, okay?" "I got things to do." "And it's not really any of your business, all right?" "(Sighs)" "Just one of those things." "(Sniffles)" "She wants to forget about it..." "So do I." "Look, I don't even have a car, okay?" "(Keys jingling)" "And so he chased her to the airport." "And though he racked his brain and he searched his soul the whole way there, ray still didn't know what he'd say when he saw her..." "Or how she'd react when she saw him." "But as it turned out, he didn't have to have any kind of speech rehearsed at all." "**" "Because ray was still searching for a space in that parking lot when her flight took off." "(Airplane engine hums)" "And so it was not until 28 letters and 79 phone calls and 94 e-mails that passed between them that Tina finally came back." "**" "Of course, stu O'Malley only gave us three stars in that dumb guidebook, which I suspect is more to keep the prices down and the tourists away, because so far, he's been back here four times with his family." "**" "So, anyway, that's the story." "That's how I met mabel." "**" "(Keith secola sings." "(Indian cars)" "* I've been driving * in my Indian car * the pound of the wheel * drumming in my brain * my dash is dusty * my plates are expired * please, Mr. officer * let me explain" "* I've got to make it * to this pow wow tonight * singing 49 * down by the riverside * lookin' for a sugar * riding in my Indian car" "**" "* got my t-bird * on the dashboard * ain't got no spare * feather from an eagle * ain't got no cares * the road is empty * in my bottle of desire * daylight is breaking * the sun touches fire" "* I got to make it * to this pow wow tonight * singing 49 * down by the riverside * lookin' for a sugar * riding in my Indian car" "**" "* my car is dented * the radiator steams * one headlight don't work * the radio can scream" "* I got a sticker * that says "Indian power"" "* I stuck it on my bumper * it holds my car together * we're on a circuit * of an Indian dream * we don't get old * we just get younger * when we're flying down" "* the highway * riding in our Indian car" "**" "**"