"THE HALF BROTHER" "The autumn when I made friends, Dad took us to train for discus." "He said we'd have a better grip on the girls from throwing the discus." "I think that's the last thing Fred and I did together." "Because now I had Vivian and Peder." "And that was hard for Fred." "Now he was alone instead." " Why did Edith get nylons too?" " No idea!" "I've often wondered." "Arnold would never have been allowed in here without those stockings." "All three of us fell for them!" " She said he wasn't a good man?" " I guess he wasn't." " Strange having a dad no one likes." " He had his good sides too." "And we got you." "Why was Fred so angry at Dad?" " What had he done?" " Nothing." "Absolutely nothing." "You had a father, Barnum." "All Fred had was you." " My word!" " Barnum has a visitor coming." "Make yourself presentable." "There, I've mad myself presentable." "Let's sit down." " We'll wait." " Fine." "He'll be here." " Has someone died?" " No one is dead." " That seat is taken." " It is now." "And you're dead." " You didn't have to wait for me." " Barnum has a friend coming over." " I wasn't sure you were coming, Fred." " Who would've thought that?" " Dickhead." " And don't talk with your mouth full." " So where is this "friend"?" " The tram must be late." " Of course." " He'll be here." "In other countries you expect a 15 minute wait before the show begins." "It's now 7:15 pm." "It had to be the top of the damn hill!" " You didn't say the house number." " How did you find it?" " I just asked for Barnum Nilsen." " Come in!" "Hello!" " Peder Miil." " Is that with two i's?" " Peder." " Boletta." " Peder." "Nice to meet you." " Please, sit here!" " Thank you for having me." " You're late." "It's nothing." "A welcome guest is always on time." "That's what we said in America." " Barnum forgot to give the address." " No, the tram was late." " Just help yourself!" " Barnum has never had a guest before." "You are the first." " So I'm late, but welcome!" " That's right!" " What work does your father do?" " Stamps." " Can you make a living on that?" " Last year he sold one for 21,734 kroner." "It's called philately, if you didn't know." " I see you noticed my missing hand." " Sorry." "These valuable fingers were lost when I was clearing landmines after the war." "You see, Germans are great soldiers, but they're also very devious." "Suddenly there was a mine where there shouldn't have been." "How did it go at dance school yesterday, boys?" "Fine." "The teacher talked most of the time." "She said it was important to change our underwear if we were sweaty." "In America we danced for days." "You'd better believe we got sweaty." "The person who kept going the longest won." " So we put up with a little sweat." " Arnold, please!" "This was in my mailbox today." " What in the world is that?" " You can damn well see what it is!" " I won't put up with this filth!" " Whose pajamas are these?" "Mine." " What do you say about this, Fred?" " Barnum shit himself." "I put his pajamas in the garbage." " And they walked to Bang's mailbox?" " Whatever!" "I'm trying to eat!" "Don't push your luck." "You're a hooligan, you are!" " Can't even spell my name!" " Apologize." "Apologize!" "I thought washing pajamas was your job, "Bnag"." "You dare to stand here calling me "Bnag"?" "Hey!" "I'm not through with you!" "This is totally cool." "Maybe we should go to my house next time." " Hi, Mom!" " Hi, boys!" " Hi!" "You must be Barnum?" " Yes." "Barnum Nilsen." " Pleased to make your acquaintance." " Me too." "Come and see!" "Look at this!" "I mean, it's not quite finished yet, but..." "What do you think?" " I think it looks finished." " No, I just got started." "I still think it looks finished." " Are you hungry, Barnum?" " Yeah." "Do you know how many cocks Gustav Vigeland has sculpted?" "121." "I counted." "There are actually 122 if you count the Monolith." "123 if you count the model" " Damn." "Hi!" "Brilliant." " So, who is this?" " Barnum." "Barnum Nilsen." "Barnum?" "Barnum, Barnum." "I have a stamp with Barnum on it." "A very rare American stamp." "I'll show you some time." "So, are you staying for dinner?" "No, we have to got now." "We have to go to dance school." " Goodbye!" " See you!" "MIIL'S STAMPS" "Nice!" "Look at that, Barnum." "Your own stamp." "I'll buy it for you when I make my first million." "Look here." "A three-shilling from 1885." "It costs more than the whole shop." " Why?" " It's the wrong color." "The ones with flaws are the most valuable." " Do you want a Coke or a Solo?" " Coke." "Vivian?" "I'm tall." "Barnum is short." "What are you?" " I was born by accident." " Do you live in that white house?" "Is your mother "The Veil"?" "The Veil is totally cool!" "Cheers!" "Bye!" "Is Vivian your girl?" "You gave her a hug." "Don't you hug people you like, Barnum?" "We're both with her." "With her mother, she needs two men." " Refill?" " Yes, please!" "Thanks." " So, you're leaving the company?" " Yes, I've done my time." "Boletta?" "Here's a little bonus for your long, faithful service." "There must be some mistake." "I'm not in wage class 19." "I'm in wage class 11." " Aren't there to many zeros here?" " May I have some coffee, please?" " Where's Dad?" " I don't know." " I'm so happy." " You are?" "Dance school was a good idea." "Peder came to dinner." "I've been to Peder's house." "He still wants to be my friend." "I don't want Fred to come to Peder's house." "I want this to be just mine." "Let's try and get some sleep, OK?" "Ready?" "Can't we do something else instead?" "Just the two of us." " It's not that bad, is it?" " Yes it is." "I hate it." "Every time I go into that house I feel dead." "I agree that it's kind of oppressive, but dead is a little..." "So now you want to play the author and nitpick every word." "You know what, Barnum?" "I was 25 when I left home." "25 years of moaning and begging and crying and suspicion and bad vibes." "25 years with the worst mother in Homansbyen, no, in the whole city, in the whole fucking country." "Don't you think that's a little oppressive?" "Has something happened?" "I just don't want your mother to meet her." "Now you're talking like you've never met my father." " Shall we go?" " You can leave that here." " Mom doesn't like people to be happy." " Shit, I'd forgotten about that." "You know what, let's drink it here instead." "Time always goes faster when you have alcohol in your blood." "Before you know it we'll be home again." "Oh, this is going to go so badly, Barnum." "Yes it will!" "Mom is going to say something completely awful to Vera, I know it." " She can't deal with this." " Maybe they'll be friends." "Stranger thins have happened." "You know that the best thing about you is?" "You believe in happy endings." " Don't you?" " No." "Yeah." "Maybe." "Cheers!" " Some would have used the phone." " I can't believe it." "DINNER CANCELLED" "Are you waiting for me?" " And I so wanted to meet her." " I've never heard that one before!" " Come on, let's go to Krølle." " No, come with me." "Here you are!" " What?" " We bought you the attic." "Look." "This will be the kitchen, the living room here and your bedroom here." "And then there's a little bedroom in case it's necessary." " Barnum's office at the end of the hall." "And we'll put in windows." "You'll see all the way to Stensparken." "And we'll be right downstairs." " You didn't buy this..." " For us" " Thank you." " You're welcome!" "Thank you so much!" "Imagine windows here." "This looks very good." "Your eggs are in great shape." "Your ovaries are intact." "Your uterus is functioning normally." "It's time to examine your husband." "But he's already been here." "He delivered a sample." "Barnum Nilsen." "Everything was fine." " Barnum Nilsen, the writer?" " Yes." "He said everything was fine?" "Yes." "I'm afraid we have doctor-patient confidentiality here." "But we're married." "Yes, and I don't think spouses should lie to each other." "Is something wrong?" "I'm not pregnant." " Have you considered not having kids?" " No." "I can't think of that." "It would make life meaningless." "Don't the two of us mean anything to you?" " What are you trying to say?" " Just that we can try to be happy." "While we're waiting." "Have you seen the newspaper clipping about Fred?" "I thought you threw it away." "Yeah, maybe I did." "That took a long time." " Is that a coffin?" " No, it's a one-man bobsled." "Are you stupid?" " Where'd you get it?" " None of your business." "Here." "Come and lift your end." "We're going to carry it upstairs." "Where?" "This is where my father came from." "What did you say?" "Mom never even saw him." "Someone must have seen him." "You can't pass Edith without her seeing you." "Or maybe your father is right." "Maybe what matters is not what you see, but what you think you see." "Maybe she thought she saw Cliff Richard." "Cliff Richard with nine fingers." " Don't do this, Fred!" " Would you put the lid on?" "No." "Do it!" "Then go back downstairs, go to bed and shut up." "Are you going to stay here?" "I don't want to." "You want to lie here yourself?" "Maybe I can find you a kid-sized coffin." "You wouldn't need any bigger than that." " Barnum, now go back to bed!" " Come out!" "I don't need you anymore, Barnum." "I don't like it." "Arnold Nilsen's wife goes around offering her services to strangers as a portrait photographer." "We need the money, Arnold." "The boys are getting bigger." "And I wouldn't mind having nice things every now and then." "It just so happens that one of my inventions has caught on." " The first sales report is at noon." " Then we'll talk about it at noon." "You shall not throw balls at windows." "You shall not throw balls at windows." "You shall not lie in a coffin until you are dead." " Did you get detention again?" " Yes." "At least you're not lying." "I heard you threw a ball through a school window!" "What's wrong with you?" " You broke a window with a ball?" " Yes." "Well, that's good." "We're going to start training with the discus soon." "The best thing about the discus is..." "it gives you a better grip on girls." "Where have you been?" "My God, look at you, Arnold!" "How did things go with your invention?" "Arnold, where are your shoes?" " And where is Fred?" " I don't know." "Where is he?" "Have you seen him?" "In a coffin in the attic." "Don't hurt him!" "THE DISCUS THROWER" "Here you are, wasting the daylight." "Come on, get up." "I've rented Bislett Stadium until 1:00 pm." "Get into your training clothes." "Later we'll dress for the banquet." "Banquet?" "A proper sporting event has a banquet." "I booked us a table at the Grand." "Unless Boletta is going to the North Pole." " They'll have beer at the Grand too." " But it's not as cold." "But it is served in bottles by highly-trained waiters." "Caretaker Bang, former triple jump champion, say that Audun Boysen ate two slices of bread with liver pate, three kelp tablets and a tablespoon of powdered kelp before competitions." "Wasn't Audun Boysen a runner?" "Whether we throw the discus, run, do triple jump or are circus clowns, our strength is from the same place." "But I'm glad you're paying attention." " Where's the letter?" " I don't know where it is." " Isn't it in the box?" " No, it's not in the box." " I put it there." " Taking that letter is an affront!" "I don't know where it is!" "I haven't touched the letter." " And we're to believe that." " I'm always blamed!" "But I know the letter by heart." ""We were to bring back a muskox,"" ""and we found a herd of oxen eating the bark off of the polar willow,"" ""nearly the only plant here."" " It's not the same thing." "Boys, change your clothes!" "You have one minute." " Is it heavy, Barnum?" " No, it's just 1.5 kilograms." "Junior discus." "To be great you have to start small." "Shall we go to church, or to Bislett?" "Bislett." "To Bislett!" "Paradise." "Here." "This is the place." "May I direct your attention to my feet." "This simple, modest circle is the discus thrower's circus ring." "This is where he wows the audience." "Grasp the outer edge of the discus, using your thumb as a support." "Let your arm hang loosely and hold the discus firmly in your hand." "The most important thing now is to throw the discus in a perfect arc." "It should cut through the air rotating on its own axis." "And not wobble!" "You hear that?" "No wobbling!" "Follow my lead!" "Firmly in your hand." "Smooth movements." "Good contact." "Damn." "You see?" "Fred, can you go and get the discus?" "Barnum, you start!" "Thanks." "Good." "Yes." "Just like that." "Eleven and a half meters." "That's something to build on." "Your turn, Fred!" " What have you done, Fred?" " Maybe he's only in a stupor?" "Such a terrible accident." "Terrible." " Perhaps worst for Fred." " What do you mean?" " Wasn't he the one who threw it?" " Listen up." "It's worst for all of us." "But it's the very worst for Arnold Nilsen." "Now what do you want?" "Above all, to convey the condolences of everyone in the building." "Thank you." "I thought perhaps you'd want to keep this." "It was left at Bislett." "Get that menace out of my house!" " I'm sorry!" " She didn't mean it that way." "Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?" "We're all right." "Did you hear that?" " They're cleaning up." " No." "Listen carefully." "We won't hear him breathing anymore." "I'll be your father, Barnum." "The number you have dialed is no longer in use." "There weren't many people at Dad's funeral." "There was us in front." "There was Edith from the shop, caretaker Bang, my friends, and one person I didn't know." "And it was there that Fred met Vivian."