"(baby crying)" "(chopping and cracking sounds)" "(chopping and cracking sounds)" "(ominous music)" "Katie:" "So you'd leave the store for some big shot?" "Drew:" "He's not just some bigshot." "I mean Lance Bryant happens to be one of the stores biggest customers." "The place wouldn't exist without him." "Katie:" "Right." "Drew:" "And he's also one of the most successful guys in town." "You know, he made the "Forty under 40" list." "Katie:" "Yeah." "Katie:" "I know, but, okay." "Drew:" "Twice Katie." "Nobody does that." "Katie:" "That sounds very impressive, it does." "Katie:" "But I mean you've been working towards something and I just don't know that it's necessarily the smartest thing to just pick up and start over." "Drew:" "I don't think you understand." "The guy is super loaded." "I'll probably get paid at least triple what I'm making now." "It's not starting over." "Katie:" "Okay, but what will the job be?" "I mean, what does he even do?" "Drew:" "What does he even do?" "What does it even matter?" "Katie:" "Oh God." "Drew:" "Okay, the man sweats success." "Ever read his book?" "Katie:" "No." "Drew:" "Well, there you go." "Katie:" "Have you read his book?" "Drew:" "I've read the first chapter of it." "Katie:" "Well, there you go." "Drew:" "Well, I've read pieces of it." "I've read more than you have." "Katie:" "I just wonder if you'd actually, you know, if you're going to be happier doing it." "Drew:" "Yeah." "Katie:" "Really?" "Drew:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "I mean, I'm nearly 30 Katie." "I can't be shoving diningroom tables into hatchbacks for the rest of my life." "Katie:" "Hmm." "Drew:" "I got to strike now." "Strike that hot iron." "Mr. Clayton:" "Drew." "Drew DeLaney." "I need you out back." "Drew:" "I got five more minutes Mr. Clayton." "(sighs) See what I'm dealing with here?" "Got to get out of this place." "Katie:" "The grass is always greener." "Mr. Clayton, he's been good to you." "Okay?" "Drew:" "No, Mr. Clayton can eat a hot bowl of dicks, is what I think." "Katie:" "Wow." "Lance:" "That right there." "That mother fuckin' shit right there is what pisses me off more than anything else." "You can't just come to me to my place of residence." "My mother fuckin' doorstep and expect a handout." "A free fuckin' handout that will not benefit me in any way, shape, or mother fuckin' form." "Drew:" "Uh, so did you end up buying the cookies?" "Lance:" "What the?" "It's not about whether or not" "I bought the cookies or didn't." "It's about these mother fuckers are success suckers." "Didn't you read my book?" "Drew:" "Well, I ..." "Lance:" "Goddamn man." "Chapter two, paragraph six." "Yes, those who refuse to work for success are bloodsucking leaches, leaches who will success suck you dry unless you annihilate them." "Drew:" "Oh yeah, annihilation." "Lance:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "Got it Mr. Bryant." "Lance:" "Dammit Drew." "Just call me Lance." "Drew:" "Yeah Lance." "Lance:" "Now in summation." "If those little bitches come calling and asking for handouts while you're here house-sitting you have the green light to use this on their asses." "Drew:" "Uh, we're still talking about girl scouts." "Right?" "Lance:" "Yeah." "This may be air-powered, but let me tell you something." "This can put a hole the size of a grapefruit through a squirrel from 90 yards away." "Lance:" "Uh-huh" "Lance:" "Watch yourself." "Drew:" "Oh." "Lance:" "Huh!" "Bam!" "Lance:" "Drew." "Lance:" "Let's take a walk." "Lance:" "All right." "Don't let Mr. Baldwin get down there by the horse stables." "All right." "If he gets to dig in." "It will be a horrible mess." "Drew:" "You got horses?" "That's fantastic." "I've never actually seen a horse live in person before." "I've always kind of wanted to." "I've seen them in movies." "Lance:" "Stables." "You hear me say anything about owning a damn horse?" "Lance:" "Oh shit!" "I almost forgot." "Okay, so something, uh, well, someone may be arriving before I get back." "Special arrangement." "International arrangement." "Which could bring about some unfortunate misunderstandings if not handled with a clear and focused mind." "You feel me?" "Drew:" "Uh, I'm not sure I follow." "Lance:" "Don't sweat it." "Lance:" "You, just toss her into my master bedroom if she comes before I get back." "That's it." "You feel me?" "Drew:" "Oh yeah." "Drew:" "I feel you." "Lance:" "All right." "See you do good and you are going to earn yourself a spot in the big leagues." "All right?" "Ha-ha." "A lot of great things going on at Team Lance." "Huh?" "Great things." "(rap music)" "(opens door - beeper goes off)" "(opens door - beeper goes off)" "(beeper off)" "Drew:" "Anyone here?" "Lance?" "(lyrics) Hells yeah, mother fucker," "Fresh up in this big hatch." "Drew:" "Oh, uh, who, who are you?" "Marta:" "I'm Marta." "Mr. Lance tells you coming to watch his house and to take care of his doggie." "Drew:" "Yeah, yeah, that's right, that's " "Marta:" "I'll be in and out all weekend cleaning Mr. Lance home, but please, do no mess up nothing!" "Hmm?" "Drew:" "Mr. Baldwin, I presume." "(lyrics) You make me feel like a dog" "You got me on your leash" "Drew:" "Here you go Mr. Baldwin." "(lyrics) You make a grown man pant" "You make a grown man dance" "Drew:" "Time to eat Mr. Baldwin." "Eat it." "Come on." "(lyrics) You got me on all fours" "On my hands and knees" "Just take me for a walk" "Drew:" "Look." "It's delicious." "(lyrics) Get me off of my feet" "You make me feel like a dog" "(instrumental music)" "(instrumental music)" "You make me feel like a frog" "Like a prince [unintelligible]" "You make a grown man wild" "You make a grown man a child" "You make me feel something new" "I could learn from you" "Just give me all your mind" "(Spanish speaking shows on TV" " Marta pounding mat)" "(Spanish speaking shows on TV" " Marta pounding mat)" "News reporter:" "Gracias Juan." "Although local and federal law enforcements won't offer up many details on the investigation they do say that this human trafficking ring may involve over 35 countries." "Agent Eddie Granger:" "What we're looking at is as an exploitation scandal, uh, that is more complex and more sadistic, um, than any that we've encountered here in the United States of America on U.S. soil." "Um, so the citizens ... (Doorbell rings) which we hold dear, we are working diligently " "Kamal:" "Excuse me sir." "So sorry to bother you on this glorious day, but " "Drew:" "Kamal?" "Drew DeLaney." "Emily Dickinson High?" "Mr. Martineau's history class?" "Come on man!" "We made that Vietnam video." "Kamal:" "Yeah, Drew." "Right?" "Drew:" "Yeah." "Kamal:" "Yeah, I'm sorry." "I guess I didn't recognize you with a shirt and the tie, it's corporate." "Um, you've done pretty well for yourself." "Drew:" "Oh!" "This house?" "Actually it belongs to Lance Bryant." "Kamal:" "Who is that?" "Drew:" "You don't know who Lance Bryant is?" "Kamal: (nods no)" "Drew:" "Anyway, if nothing goes wrong while I'm here he's going to give me a job." "Kamal:" "Really." "Kamal:" "Nice." "House sitting full time?" "Drew:" "Uh, no, probably more like, you know, being his trusted right hand man." "Kamal:" "Right hand man?" "Kamal:" "Oh, I get it." "Right hand man." "Drew:" "No." "You've grown up so much." "Kamal:" "Right hand man you're gonna ..." "Drew:" "Don't, no, just don't." "Kamal:" "He's a powerful man." "Kamal:" "Powerful men need a hand." "Drew:" "How do you like it?" "Drew:" "You like it." "Kamal:" "You got speed, speed." "Drew:" "How does that feel?" "Drew:" "Job training." "Right?" "You're training from a right hand man now." "Kamal:" "What are you digging for?" "Delivery Guy:" "Now don't stop on my account." "Love that shit!" "You're lucky I'm working." "Especially you." "Anyway, who lives here?" "Drew:" "I do." "I mean for the time being." "Delivery Guy:" "I need a signature." "Drew:" "Sure." "Yep." "Uh, so you, I guess you could put it, uh, right in here if you want." "Delivery Guy:" "Nah!" "That's where it stops." "I don't haul shit." "(ominous music)" "Drew:" "Hey man." "Hey you mind maybe giving me a hand with this?" "We just got to carry it, carry it around back." "Just take about five minutes." "Kamal:" "I don't know." "I still got a lot of houses to hit." "Drew:" "Yeah, sure." "I totally understand." "Come back later maybe." "Swing back around." "Yeah." "Kamal:" "Um, good luck with the house sitting though." "Drew:" "Yeah, should be, should be fun." "Kamal:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "It was cool seeing you man." "Kamal:" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Drew:" "It's been a long time." "Kamal:" "Cool." "Good luck." "Drew:" "Thanks man." "You too." "Drew: 10 speeds?" "Drew: 21." "Wow." "Do you use, like, all of them?" "Drew:" "Oh my gosh man." "Kamal:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "So what's in the case?" "(chop)" "Drew:" "Whoa!" "Kamal:" "SlicePro is top of the line cutlery." "Won the Bronze at the Homemakers Expo in '98, then again in '02." "The shits legit." "Drew:" "It seems very sharp." "Kamal:" "So how much should I put you down for?" "The extended chefs arsenal?" "Perhaps the nuclear family traditional set?" "Hey, either way." "I'll throw in a pair of scissors that can cut through a penny." "On the house." "Drew:" "Thanks man, but I just," "I just can't really afford any right now, you know." "Maybe if I get this job I can totally " "Kamal:" "Playing hard ball, huh?" "All right." "How about this?" "I'll throw in the fish that you've been looking at that opens bottles." "Huh?" "Life of the party here." "I work on 100% commission, you know." "Drew:" "Hey why don't you, why don't you hang out for a while man?" "I've got this huge place all to myself, you know, we could grab a drink, reminisce about the old days." "Kamal:" "Nah, I better not man." "Drew:" "Come on Kam." "It will be fun." "Kamal:" "It's Kamal, and I think I'm good." "Drew:" "Yeah." "Yeah, okay, yeah." "Sorry man." "(dog steps)" "Kamal:" "Was that a thong?" "Drew:" "Yeah." "(ominous music)" "Drew:" "The door was open man." "(ominous music)" "Drew:" "Mr. Baldwin." "Look at this mess man." "Drew:" "Do you leave the door open?" "He told me " "Kamal:" "Holy shit!" "Drew:" "What?" "Kamal:" "I think there's someone in there." "Drew:" "What are you talking about?" "(ominous music)" "Drew:" "Holy shit." "Kamal:" "Are you fucking with me?" "Drew:" "No, I though you were fucking with me man." "Kamal:" "Why would I fuck with you?" "Drew:" "I was going to ask you the same thing." "Kamal:" "Someone is fucking with us." "Drew:" "Someone is fucking with us." "Kamal:" "Why the fuck would a dead chick get delivered here." "Right?" "Right?" "I mean this is Lance Bryant's house." "Yeah?" "Drew:" "Yeah." "Kamal:" "And there's no way that a dead chick would get delivered here." "Drew:" "No." "Drew:" "It doesn't make sense." "Kamal:" "It doesn't make any sense at all." "Drew:" "There's no way it's a dead chick." "Drew:" "It's a dead chick." "Drew:" "Who do you think she is?" "Kamal:" "You want to check her for ID be my guest." "Drew:" "Lance told me to keep an eye out for something, something that might raise eyebrows." "Kamal:" "Consider my eyebrows fucking raised." "Drew:" "He figured a woman was coming to stay with him, but he was so vague." "You know he called it, he called it an international arrangement." "Kamal:" "Sounds like a mail order bride to me." "Drew:" "Is that what this is?" "Kamal:" "How long do you know this guy?" "Drew:" "Uh, I mean he comes into the store like, once a month, you know, to buy a bunch of stuff." "Kamal:" "So not very well then." "Huh?" "Drew:" "Well I mean we usually chit-chat while I load things into his car." "Kamal:" "Chit-chat." "Jesus." "Drew:" "Well, it's longer than a chit-chat." "Drew:" "It's like conversations, we talk." "Kamal:" "It's a chit-chat man." "It's a chit-chat." "You chit-chat with this guy and you don't know him." "Drew:" "It's like once a month" "I talk to him for awhile." "Kamal:" "Yeah-yeah." "So you don't know him that well and it's quite possible that he could be into some weird fucking shit." "Drew:" "No, Lance Bryant is a legit guy." "Kamal:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "There's got to be a reasonable explanation for this." "Drew: (sighs) Oh my God." "What are we going to do?" "Kamal:" "We?" "Sorry man, but this is your problem." "I got to get back to work." "Drew:" "Wait!" "You got to help me with this." "We're friends." "Kamal: (laughs) Sure man." "Look, call the fucking police." "Let them sort it out, okay." "Drew:" "If I call the police than Lance will get arrested." "Okay, no, he told me to handle this with a clear, focused head is what he said." "If I screw this up there's no way" "I'm going aboard Team Lance." "You got to help me." "It's Team Lance Kamal." "(doorbell rings)" "(Knocking)" "(Doorbell rings)" "Spencer:" "Hello." "Spencer:" "Hi." "Spencer:" "Hi." "I'm here to see Lance Bryant, if I might." "Drew:" "Lance isn't home at the moment." "Spencer:" "Who are you?" "Drew:" "We're his friends." "We're friends of Lance's." "Spencer:" "Friends?" "Friends of Lance?" "Drew:" "Yeah." "Spencer:" "You're both friends of Lance Bryant?" "Drew:" "Yeah." "We're kind of busy at the moment so if you don't mind maybe coming back later." "We're going to head back." "Spencer:" "Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, gentlemen, but this is a neighborhood watch zone." "And I happen to be Lance's neighbor so maybe it's appropriate for me to let the authorities know you're inside of his house." "Kamal:" "Please by all means." "Drew:" "No, no, no." "(Knocking)" "Drew:" "It's not, it's not necessary, okay." "Look, we're just ..." "Lance, Lance is on vacation." "Okay?" "And he asked me to look after his place until he gets back, that's all." "Neighbor:" "Well he never told me anything about house sitters, so you can imagine how " "Kamal:" "I'm not house sitting, for the record." "Drew:" "I totally understand." "Spencer:" "Okay." "Record." "Spencer:" "Okay." "Well I'm Spencer Shaw." "I live right down the street, as I mentioned earlier, so if you need anything while you're here just give me a jingle." "Drew:" "Great." "Drew:" "Oh doctor." "Spencer:" "That's right." "MD and PhD." "Spencer:" "I did them both." "Drew:" "Great." "Good for you." "Congratulations." "That's a lot of work." "Spencer:" "Oh, and the mail." "Yes." "I came to give Lance his mail because unfortunately it gets delivered to me by mistake." "We have dunderheads running our postal service here in the local area." "So there's not a day that pretty much doesn't go by where there's postcards or some periodicals of some kind that gets mistakenly " "Kamal and Spencer: (Laugh)" "Drew:" "Thank you for doing that." "That's so nice Dr. Shaw." "Thank you." "It was nice meeting you." "We'll see you around the neighborhood" "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "Spencer:" "Oh, and by the way." "Just follow the exact sequence that's on the card that I gave you number wise and my phone will ring." "Drew:" "Wonderful." "Thank you. (sighs)" "Drew:" "Oh man." "We got to move fast." "That guy is totally onto us." "Kamal:" "Us?" "Kamal:" "Are you crazy?" "This is all you." "Drew:" "What?" "He saw you, too, Kamal." "Drew:" "So in his mind you're just as connected to this as I am." "Kamal:" "Connected to what?" "Drew." "This." "Kamal:" "We didn't kill her." "We didn't box her up and ship her." "We had nothing to do with this." "Think about it." "If we never would have looked in the box we never would have known." "Right?" "Drew:" "Yeah." "Kamal:" "The best thing we can do is pretend nothing happened." "Drew:" "Exactly." "Yeah, Yeah." "We need to cover this up and make a pact to go silent." "Kamal:" "What?" "Drew:" "We seal the box back up." "Pretend like we saw nothing." "You know, just like you said." "Kamal:" "I didn't say that." "Drew:" "It's perfect." "You know, this way Lance will never know that I know and then I still get the job." "Yeah." "We just need to find some tape." "(ominous music)" "Drew:" "We need to figure out another plan." "Kamal:" "No." "I need to leave and you need to call the cops." "Drew:" "I can't screw Lance over like that." "Kamal:" "What if Lance isn't as legit a guy as you think." "I mean, think about it." "Why does he pick you?" "Some furniture store clerk to watch his house." "And why on the weekend when he's expecting something important does he decide to get up and leave town?" "Drew:" "You're not seriously suggesting that I'm part of some?" "Kamal:" "Conspiracy?" "Kamal:" "I don't know, but it's hard to ignore the fucking facts." "Drew:" "Oh hang on." "Hang on." "There are three basic principles to success." "Okay, okay, okay." "Number one." "Reason." "Number two." "Focus." "Nmber three" "Kamal:" "Go fuck yourself." "Drew:" "Effort." "Okay?" "We follow Lance Bryant's book and we'll be fine." "Drew:" "Number one." "Reason." "Make an informed choice." "It's not how to use your mother fucking time." "It's how to use it the best mother fucking way possible." "Drew:" "Yeah?" "Okay." "Okay." "So based on our situation we need to go get a new box for her." "Yeah?" "It's crazy, we're already a third of the way done." "Kamal:" "Have you even read that book man?" "Drew:" "Okay." "Let's do it." "I'll drive." "Shit!" "Hey Marta." "Marta:" "Mr. Drew I clean master suite now." "Drew:" "Actually can you clean it later?" "Maybe?" "Just a little bit later." "Like maybe in two hours." "Marta:" "No, Mr. Lance will not be happy if I don't clean master suite now." "Drew:" "Right now." "I get that and you can totally clean it." "Just not, just not right now, you know, so maybe you can go clean something else for a while and then come back." "Marta:" "I must clean now." "Marta:" "No-no." "It's not on your time." "Okay?" "Marta: (speaking in Spanish)" "Drew:" "I don't speak Spanish Marta." "That's not the [unintelligible]" "Five minutes?" "Can you go clean something else for a while?" "And then come ..." "Kamal:" "It's cool." "We're finished." "Drew:" "Uh yeah." "We're finished." "Marta: (mumbles in Spanish)" "Drew:" "What the fuck [unintelligible]" "Kamal:" "Follow me." "Marta: (grumbling in Spanish)" "Kamal:" "I had to act fast." "I'm thinking we should find a better place for her." "Somewhere out of the sun." "Drew:" "Yeah." "Kamal:" "Don't you want to know how I got her out here?" "Drew:" "No." "(Music)" "(Music)" "Girl Scouts:" "Wanna buy some cookies?" "Drew:" "What did you say little girls?" "Girl Scouts:" "Wanna buy some cookies?" "Drew:" "Uh, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah." "I'd love to buy some cookies." "Um, wow." "Okay, great, um," "I'll take them all." "So that's " "Okay." "So here you go." "That's for you." "Okay thank you." "Great." "Uh, thank you." "Kamal:" "Experiment in college." "I didn't get two." "(garage door closes)" "(Marta thumping mat)" "Kamal:" "How long do we have to wait?" "Drew:" "Until she's gone, I guess." "Kamal:" "Well then, I'm going to have a beer." "Kamal:" "Not even a little something to take the edge off?" "(thumping)" "Drew:" "I've got work to do man." "Kamal:" "I think we've earned one drink." "(thumping)" "Drew:" "Yeah okay." "This is it." "(Rock music)" "(Rock music)" "(somber music)" "(somber music)" "Drew:" "Kamal?" "Kamal?" "(somber music)" "Drew: (alarm goes off)" "(beeping - alarm squealing)" "(beeping - alarm squealing)" "(alarm stops - phone ringing)" "Kamal's voice:" "You've reached Kamal with SlicePro!" "Leave a message. (Beep)" "Drew:" "Yeah." "Hi Kamal." "It's Drew." "Drew DeLaney." "Do you remember me?" "Uh, you were here at Lance Bryant's house." "Yeah, you were going to help me with an extremely unfortunate situation we found ourselves in." "You remember that?" "Uh, well, I just wanted to call and say thanks for nothing." "Yeah." "I'm not sure if you've heard, but, friends don't ditch friends. (doorbell ringing)" "Not how it works." "(doorbell ringing)" "So, good luck with your crappy job (knocking) selling crappy knives to crappy people (doorbell ringing) that I'm sure I'll be stuck doing something equally crappy since you left me high and dry with this." "Uh, hope to never see you around again Ass." "Okay, best wishes, Bye." "(doorbell ringing)" "Drew:" "Uh!" "Barry:" "Mr. Bryant?" "Drew:" "Uh, well I'm ..." "Barry:" "Vault Home Security." "Drew:" "Uh, great." "Look, I think I ..." "Barry:" "Is everything all right in there?" "Your panic alarm was triggered." "Drew:" "Yeah, and everything is fine." "Thank you." "Barry:" "Mind if I take a quick poke around?" "Drew:" "Well yes, it's not really the best time." "You know, it's fine." "I mean, I'm pretty sure I set it off myself, so nothing to worry about." "Barry:" "Quite possible sir, but better safe than sorry." "That's the Vault Home Security motto." "Drew:" "I understand it's your job, but this is completely unnecessary." "Barry:" "Unnecessary?" "The sudden power loss 55 and a half seconds after the alarm was triggered suggests that the intruder cut the power from your home." "Now, this is your home." "Correct sir?" "Drew:" "That's what I've been trying to tell you." "Barry:" "Now you wouldn't want your home invaded and you BTK'd while you slept." "Would you?" "Drew:" "BTK'd?" "Barry:" "Bind, Torture, Kill." "Now is that what you want sir?" "Because if that is what you want then I'll pack up my stuff and I'll go." "Didn't think so." "Now, if you'll let me continue until everything is clear" "I'll be out of your hair in no time. (trips) Sheez!" "(garage door opening)" "Drew:" "I think everything is fine really." "Barry:" "Shhh." "They like to hide in garages." "Drew:" "Who likes to hide in garages?" "Barry:" "I don't want to impart that dark knowledge onto you." "Unless you never want to sleep again." "(ominous music)" "(ominous music)" "Barry:" "Holy shoot!" "Is this yours sir?" "Drew:" "Listen man it's a long story." "Barry:" "If this is yours, then I'd like to shake your hand." "I tell you I'm a sucker for these old vintage photo booths." "When I said sucker I mean "obsessive freak." (laughs)" "Yeah, Jerry and I, we always say if we win the lotto we're going to go on a road trip and we're going to find 50 of these from every state in God's good nation." "Drew:" "Sounds cool, yeah." "Who's Jerry?" "Barry:" "Jerry?" "My brother." "You know, he works the nightshift." "Drew:" "Of course, yeah." "Barry:" "Oh come on." "You've got to have seen Jerry." "People say we look a lot alike, which we don't." "I'm easier on the eyes. (laughs)" "Yeah, it's always been a dream, you know." "To have 50 of these lovely ladies." "Clean them up, you know, make them something real nice." "Drew:" "Yeah, got to have dreams." "Barry:" "Oh yeah." "Say, you're looking to sell this baby?" "Drew:" "NO!" "NO!" "Barry:" "Geez louise!" "Yeah, I get it." "It's a beaut." "No reason to sell, but no reason to yell." "Yeah." "Could use a little scrub though." "Drew:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "What?" "Oh yeah, those are just some friends that's consensual everyone's kind of [unintelligible] before handabout the parameters of [unintelligible]" "Barry:" "All right sir." "The garage appears to be clear." "Drew:" "Good, uh, great, uh, so thank you for securing it." "Barry:" "It's my job and I know you might feel safe, but remember if a sick psycho wants to get inside he can if he really wants to." "(trips) (laughs) Whoa!" "That was a close one." "I tell you, sir, if I had a dime for every time I (falls)" "Drew:" "Shit man!" "Oh God." "You okay?" "(sighs) You just got the wind knocked out of you that makes you kind of " "(leaking sound - ominous music)" "Drew:" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "No!" "(phone ringing)" "Kamal's voice:" "You've reached Kamal with SlicePro." "Leave a message. (Beep)" "Drew:" "Hey again, Kamal." "Sorry to bother you, but listen we have a problem here." "Um, rather a second problem." "Um, actually the first one is completely missing, you know, so maybe we only have one to deal with now, that would be good." "Right?" "Or maybe not." "Um, anyway I'm not, uh, not really sure what to do here so just call me back please." "Oh my God!" "(ominous music)" "(dog bell tinkling)" "(footsteps)" "(ominous music)" "(ominous music)" "Allan:" "Lance Bryant?" "Drew:" "Whoa!" "(coughs) Holy shit." "Allan:" "Lance Bryant?" "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." "Drew:" "Yeah, that's great, uh, but I'm not, I'm not Lance." "Allan:" "You're not Lance Bryant?" "Drew:" "No." "Allan:" "This is what you're telling me." "Drew:" "Look, this, this is Lance, this picture it's the guy with the horse head on." "I'm pretty sure that's his torso." "I don't why the (breathing heavy) yeah." "My name is Drew." "I'm just kind of taking care of things while he's out of town." "Allan:" "You haven't seen or heard anything about, uh, a girl." "Have you?" "Drew:" "Uh?" "Allan:" "A young girl who may or may not have been here in one form or another." "Drew:" "Wait a second." "Who are you?" "And why, why are you here?" "Allan:" "Who I am is not important." "How I got in here is even less important." "What is important is that a very important man is looking for his very important granddaughter who he believes Lance Bryant has been in contact with." "Drew:" "Well, um, yeah I don't," "I don't know anything about a granddaughter." "Allan:" "If she, or Lance Bryant, come by while you're here this very important man that I speak of would see to it that you're handsomely rewarded." "If you would provide him with helpful information." "Use this to do so." "Drew:" "Plateau Pines Retirement Community." "Allan:" "He will make you an offer you will not excuse, refuse." "He will make you an offer you will not refuse." "Vik:" "Well?" "Allan:" "Your granddaughter isn't in there." "Lance Bryant isn't in there." "Vik:" "What do you mean?" "Lance Bryant wasn't in there?" "Allan:" "Some other guy was," "Drew something." "He said Lance Bryant is out of town." "This is Lance Bryant." "Vik:" "I hate to think what that deviant would do with my Katrina." "All right, all right, we'll, we'll wait." "We'll sit here and wait for my Katrina or for that sick son of a bitch to show up." "Even if it takes all night." "Allan:" "Boss, I got to have the fun bus back by three." "Vik:" "Oh all right, all right," "Jesus Christ let's take it back." "We'll come back after dark." "All right?" "Let's get moving." "Let's get moving." "Traffic is going to be a cunt." "(drives away)" "Kamal:" "Drew!" "Drew!" "I'm back." "Kamal:" "What the fuck?" "Why did you put her in there?" "Drew:" "I wish I had." "It would make more sense." "(dog barking)" "Kamal:" "I guess it could be worse." "(open shed door - ominous music)" "Kamal:" "Should have thought of this sooner." "We should call the cops." "Drew:" "Are you crazy?" "Did you see the guy in the shed?" "Kamal:" "Yeah, and that was an accident." "Right?" "Drew:" "Yeah." "Kamal:" "Then what's the problem?" "Drew:" "You know maybe if you were here instead of out selling knives on your little bicycle you might have seen what happened." "Kamal:" "Well, take it easy man." "I was trying to solve the problem that we discussed last night or were you too blacked out to remember?" "Drew:" "No, I had like four beers." "I wasn't blacked out." "Kamal:" "Four beers, right." "Drew:" "Yeah four beers." "Kamal:" "Uh-hum, you had four more beers and then you had four more beers." "Drew:" "Nope." "Kamal:" "And then you had all those shots to go with each and every one of those beers." "Drew:" "I think, I think, I think I remember." "(phone ringing)" "Kamal:" "Yep." "Uh yeah." "Yes sir." "Uh, one second." "Drew:" "Hello." "Spencer:" "Drew." "Who the fuck was that?" "Drew:" "Uh, hey Mr. Bryant, Lance." "It was, it was no one." "Lance:" "What the fuck you mean?" "No one?" "Don't fuck with me." "Who the fuck is in my house?" "Drew:" "It's no big deal, just some door-to-door knife salesman." "Kamal:" "Junior sales associate." "Spence:" "You know what?" "Go get the pellet gun and shoot that bitch." "Drew:" "I don't know Lance." "He seems like a good guy, you know." "Lance:" "Of course he seems like a good guy." "Bitch probably works on 100% commission." "Get the pellet gun and shoot his ass." "Drew:" "You know what?" "I think he's actually leaving." "Um, so yeah, I wouldn't want to waste a pellet." "So nothing to worry about." "Spencer:" "No, no, no, it's not all good." "Success suckers need to learn a lesson." "Shoot him." "Damn it!" "Shoot his ass now Drew." "Drew: (shoots Kamal)" "Spencer:" "There you go." "Good work!" "Now listen." "That hot little package come for me yet?" "Drew:" "Uh, no." "Spencer:" "Damn." "Might have slipped by with everything else that shows up at the house." "Drew:" "No, no." "I'm pretty sure we would have noticed something that special." "Spencer:" "We?" "Who the fuck is we?" "Drew:" "Uh, me and Mr. Baldwin, you know." "The only two people here." "Spencer:" "Mr. Baldwin is not a person Drew." "Drew:" "Yes sir." "Mr. Baldwin is not a person." "Spencer:" "Listen, you just keep your eye out." "OK?" "And if she shows up you just toss her in the master suite." "Hell, for that matter, even in the garage is fine." "Ha, you know, she can't complain. (laughs)" "Anyway, I am about to go and get my wine tasting on Drew." "I will talk to you tomorrow." "(ominous music)" "Drew:" "What the fuck are we going to do?" "Kamal:" "Lucky you didn't break the skin asshole." "Drew:" "We need to [unintelligible]" "Kamal:" "I need to pull up my ass out of here before you shoot me again you fucking lunatic." "Pretty good." "Huh?" "Lance doesn't know what the original box looks like." "She could have come in these styrofoam coolers just as easily as the cardboard box." "Drew:" "Okay, there's no way she's fitting in one of these things." "Kamal:" "Yeah, but she'll fit in both." "I know you weren't impressed by my SlicePro demonstration, but trust me the blades are legit." "By my calculations it will take, like, 5 to 10 minutes to completely slice her body." "Drew:" "Okay, Okay, Okay." "I get it." "I get it." "Yeah, and that's exactly what we shouldn't do." "Kamal:" "Why not?" "If we don't do something we're the ones who are going to be fucked." "Drew:" "No Lance, Lance won't let that happen." "Not if we, not if we take care of this, like, rationale and civilized human beings." "Not like this." "Kamal:" "Drew, Lance doesn't give a fuck about you." "Drew:" "Okay, Okay." "Number two." "Focus." "Okay." "Aim for something specific." "Impatience is the forerunner of mother fuckin' failure." "(closes book)" "Drew:" "These coolers are an impatient move." "Okay?" "So, so we'll get her back into the garage and together we'll go find something that actually works." "Kamal:" "I'm telling you man." "A box that size that isn't already filled with a refrigerator or a water heater is impossible to find." "Drew:" "You probably didn't check a furniture store." "Did you?" "I'm not saying it's your fault, or anything, it's just, it just takes a certain mindset to achieve success." "Kamal:" "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" "Drew:" "Well it means like back in school, for example, you know, you typically settled for the easiest way out of things." "You know, I mean, you transferred." "Things got difficult and you transferred and I'm not saying it's your fault." "It's just, it's just the way you're wired." "Kamal:" "The way I'm wired?" "What about you man?" "What about you jumping ship on your fucking job?" "You don't fucking get it." "Do you?" "Fuck you man." "This is your fucking problem." "Drew:" "Seriously?" "Oh my God." "(Music)" "(Music)" "(car doors shut)" "(footsteps)" "(knocking)" "(Music)" "(knocking)" "(Music)" "Drew: (grunting)" "Katie:" "DREW!" "(Music)" "Katie:" "Drew!" "(Music)" "Drew: (sighs) [unintelligible] (sighs)" "(Music)" "(Music)" "Katie:" "What the fuck?" "(Music)" "(plunk)" "(shuts car door - squish)" "(knocking)" "Kamal:" "Oh hey, you're a ..." "Spencer:" "Spencer Shaw." "Spencer:" "That's right." "We met earlier." "Spencer:" "Yes, and you're one of the young gentlemen that's house sitting for Lance." "Is that right?" "Kamal:" "Oh no." "I'm not house sitting." "I'm never house sitting over there." "Spencer:" "That's right, of course, of course." "Then it was your friend that's watching his place?" "Kamal:" "Look, Drew is not my friend." "Spencer:" "Really?" "I wasn't under that impression." "I thought the two of you were peas in a pod." "Kamal:" "No, we never were." "Spence:" "Well then, what brings you by ..." "Kamal:" "Kamal." "Spencer:" "Kamal." "Excellent name." "Kamal with a K. Uh, [unintelligible] yes," "Those who tribal among the mountains see themselves within themselves." "What brings you by Kamal?" "A box. (laughs)" "Drew:" "What the fuck am I going to do?" "(phone ringing)" "Drew: (breathing heavy)" "Katie:" "So, you'll invite other girls to this swanky ass pad you're watching, but not your own girlfriend." "Huh?" "Drew:" "What are you talking about?" "Katie:" "Who the fuck is she dude?" "Drew:" "Who's who?" "Katie:" "The geisha slutty anorexic slut who's probably still strung out on your goddamn couch." "Drew:" "Anorexic geisha slut?" "Katie:" "You know what I mean." "I thought that we were good, you know," "I thought that we were on the good path." "Drew:" "Listen, can we, can we just talk about this later?" "It's just I'm in the middle of fixing something major right now and I could lose out on much more than the job if I don't figure it out quickly." "Katie:" "No, that's fine." "You go." "No-no, you just go, you go and you do this shit, okay and you just, you get the job." "You, you know, you'll just have, you'll have plenty of time to devote to Lance without me inconveniencing you." "Drew:" "Can we maybe talk about this when you're not drunk?" "Katie:" "Fuck you." "Fuck you fuckin' Drew, you " "Drew: (sighs)" "Drew:" "Where the hell is he getting this?" "Agent Granger:" "[unintelligible] corsets." "Sorry." "Did I startle you?" "Seemed like I startled you there." "Nobody was answering the front door so I just thought I'd come around the side gate." "I hope that's okay Mr. Bryant." "Drew:" "I'm not Lance Bryant." "How many times do I have to tell you people?" "Agent Granger:" "How many of us people have been by here already?" "Drew:" "Wait." "Who, who are you exactly?" "Agent Granger:" "Exactly?" "Edwin Granger." "Immigration and Customs." "Mr. Bryant on the premises?" "Drew:" "Well, uh, Lance, Mr. Bryant, is out, out of town that is." "Agent Granger:" "Umm, (claps) there it is." "How convenient." "For him, not for me." "Drew:" "Is he in some kind of trouble?" "Agent Granger:" "Has he mentioned anything about a young woman?" "Drew:" "Uh, no." "Spencer:" "Very impressive Kamal." "Very impressive indeed." "Kamal:" "Yeah, SlicePro does not fuck around." "Spence:" "No, it does not fuck around." "It's not fucking around in my hand." "Is it?" "Kamal and Spencer: (laughing)" "Spencer:" "That feels so good. (chop)" "So tell me." "What is it that you and Drew" "Kamal:" "What?" "I'm just curious." "I have a curious bone in me." "Two young men in that house." "All that luxury at your fingertips." "All the opulence." "Kamal:" "You know, I can throw in a pair of scissors that can cut through a penny." "Spence: (chop) You've done it again Kamal." "I'll take it." "All the knives and the case." "Kamal:" "No shit." "Spencer:" "But before we settle up" "I'm going to need to medicate." "Kamal:" "Medicate?" "Drew:" "Human trafficking." "Agent Granger:" "Yeah, but not your run of the mill hop on the pick-up over the border kind of bullshit either." "We're talking ..." "I can't get into details, but I'm just going to tell you this it's a global trafficking organization that specializes in sexual exploitation." "Are you familiar with sex slavery?" "Drew:" "You mean like mail order brides?" "Agent Granger:" "No, I don't mean mail order brides." "Mail order brides they enter that stuff in by choice. are actually sanctioned." "They got sponsors." "They got a website and a web master." "I'm talking about women, children, and men, men like you and me having sex against our free will." "You and I in a room performing Caesar salad on the side add the chicken." "If you know what I mean?" "That's a position." "That's an elicit position that's very common now and has been since 1997." "Drew:" "No way." "Not, not, not Lance." "No, he's a pillar of the community." "You know, on the "Forty under 40" list, twice." "Agent Granger:" "Huh!" "Fifth grade merit badge." "Ninth grade, I put a salamander into a microwave oven." "People change." "Spencer:" "Are you enjoying my robe?" "Kamal:" "It's quite nice." "Spencer:" "Please partake." "Kamal:" "No, I probably shouldn't." "Spencer:" "You probably should." "It's grade A Kamal." "It's very medicinal." "You see as a professor at a top tier medical school" "I'm awarding certain, um, best to say this, benefits, no, no, boons rather that other people like yourself aren't accustomed to." "So please, please partake." "Allow me." "Yes, very good Kamal." "That's it." "Now it's working well." "Very good yes." "Kamal: (coughs)" "Spencer:" "Very good." "[unintelligible]" "Now, where were we?" "Oh, I remember." "You were telling me what you were doing over at the house." "Kamal:" "Was I?" "Spencer:" "Yes, you were." "Spencer:" "Yes you were." "You see from my place very difficult for me to see, but I thought, I thought possibly that you might have had company over there." "Kamal:" "Company?" "Spencer:" "Yes company." "That's right." "Tick-tock you're fine." "Company." "That's right." "You see I have a poor vantage point from my place." "But I thought possibly, just possibly you might have had a young woman over at the house." "Kamal: (feels sick)" "Spencer:" "Oh-oh, oh-oh, all right now." "Drew:" "What is this?" "Agent Granger:" "That was a wire transfer from Lance's account to an account in the Ukraine." "And you know what the Ukraine's chief exports are?" "Weapons grade plutonium and hot white pasty Euro ass." "Drew:" "Looks, looks like a lot of figures." "Agent Granger:" "Yeah, yeah, people with a lot of figures tend to do a lot of questionable things." "Look, I'm not saying that Lance is involved directly" "I'm just saying that somebody very close to him may be." "What's the old saying go?" "Hmm?" "Good friend help you move, great friend help you move a body." "Exactly." "He's a powerful man." "He's got a lot of pull." "You have him call me when he gets back." "OK?" "By the way, um, do you have anybody who can stay with you while you're here?" "You know, if Lance is involved with what we think he is involved with, there is no telling who might turn up here." "You know, like a good friend you can trust?" "Drew:" "Yeah, I don't, I don't really have anyone." "Agent Granger:" "Yeah, I didn't think so." "Spencer: (claps hands)" "Look, I'm prying." "I shouldn't be prying." "Kamal:" "You shouldn't be prying." "Spencer:" "No, I shouldn't be prying, but I do want to remind you this whole area here everything here, this is a neighborhood, hey, this is a neighborhood watch zone." "Kamal:" "Huh!" "You're the neighbor?" "Spencer:" "I'm the neighbor. (laughs)" "Look at me the big neighbor here." "I'm the neighbor and I want to know who she was and how she ended up on your doorstep?" "Now I'm not saying that she came there for you." "I'm not even saying that you knew that she came in the first place." "Uh-hum." "It's clear to me that Drew is the one that's in charge." "Kamal:" "Drew's an asshole." "Spencer:" "Yes he is." "Kamal:" "Mother fucker." "Spencer:" "Mother fucker." "Kamal:" "Mother fucker is one cold bastard." "Spencer:" "One cold bastard." "What are you saying Kamal?" "Are you saying that Drew is capable of cold, unspeakable acts?" "Kamal:" "Shit yeah." "The guy is heartless." "Nothing is good enough for him." "Nobody is worthy of being in his presence." "Spencer:" "Hmm, a cowboy." "You're saying there's a little bit of a cowboy in him." "Are you telling me that the basic fundamental principles of life don't apply to him?" "Kamal:" "Principles?" "Spencer:" "Principles." "Kamal:" "I could go on about the principles." "Spencer:" "Go on about the principles." "Look at you." "You're distraught." "There's a war raging inside of you right now." "You've got to battle it." "[unintelligible] teaches us that in our inner self that there is a war, a raging battle we need to free ourselves." "Free yourself." "What were you doing in the house Kamal?" "Yes, the battle." "Kamal:" "War" "Spencer:" "Yes, tell me what you were doing inside of the house, Kamal?" "Yes, Kamal, yes." "Kamal:" "I got to puke." "Spencer:" "Not on my robe." "(footsteps)" "(Music)" "(Music)" "Drew:" "OW!" "(knocking)" "Spencer:" "Kamal, how are you feeling?" "I have a fine, fine cup of Earl Grey with your name on it." "Kamal (hisses)" "Drew: (blinded and stumbles)" "(ominous music)" "Drew:" "Marta." "Oh, Marta." "Oh my God." "Oh, not you too." "Marta (crying hysterically)" "Marta:" "I don't know what happened." "[unintelligible] Please don't tell Mr. Lance." "My children, I have many children." "I promise Mr. Lance not to sleep no more at work, but my children." "I have many children." "I get sleepy." "Please." "Drew: (Sighs)" "Everybody, everybody around me is just dropping, you know, Marta, they're just dropping like flies like everyone I'm close to they're just, they're just leaving me and I saw you and I thought what " "I'm so fucked right now Marta." "Everything is completely falling apart." "Everything I've tried it just fucks up, you know, I'm so fucked." "I'm such a fuck. (crying)" "Marta:" "It's going to be okay Mr. Drew." "It's going to be okay." "Get up." "Get up." "Drew:" "I'm too much of a fuck. (crying)" "Marta:" "Sometimes you must break things apart in order to put it back together." "I must do sometimes with the toilet when it clogs up with crap." "Drew:" "The crap?" "Huh?" "What?" "Marta:" "Yeah today." "I have to clog it up." "Drew:" "Oh." "Marta:" "It's okay, it's okay." "You gonna be okay." "Drew:" "It's okay Marta." "I'm good." "I'm good." "(Music - birds singing)" "(Music - birds singing)" "Kamal:" "Hey man." "It's pretty fascinating." "Huh?" "Kamal:" "Yeah, "War Maiden."" "Spencer:" "Huh?" "Kamal:" "The name of the movie we shot in school." "It was "Apocalypse Now" meets "Breakfast Club,"" "is how we pitched it." "Drew:" "That's right." "(laughs) Man." "Kamal:" "The death scene off the roof?" "Classic." "Drew:" "Yeah, I saw scars from those homemade squibs." "It sucks you left man." "Could have made a ton more of those." "Kamal:" "Do you even know why I transferred Drew?" "You remember when you and your friends fucked with my family." "Chris Arnold, Bobbie Barnes, Brett Kendle." "I know you were with them." "Drew:" "I was 15." "Kamal:" "We were best friends." "Do you even know what it's like to be stabbed in the back?" "Drew:" "I'm sorry man." "I am." "If I had known how much that, that hurt you" "I, I would have ..." "Kamal:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "Those guys were a bunch of fucking dicks man." "I don't know why I hung out with them." "I, I'm sure they've all gained about 100 pounds." "Kumal:" "Yeah, 150 pounds." "Drew:" "Yeah, probably still all hanging out." "Kamal:" "Probably." "Drew:" "Probably still going to the high school football games on Saturdays [unintelligible]" "Kamal: (laughs) (sighs)" "Drew:" "Look man I think you actually might be right about Lance." "He's just, it's just nothing adds up, you know, him leaving town and all these random people stopping by." "This whole thing has gotten so out of control." "Kamal:" "Yeah, but it's your dream job man." "Drew:" "There's other jobs, you know." "The point is a job with Lance isn't going to mean anything if I end up going to jail." "Kamal:" "So what are you saying?" "Drew:" "I'm saying let's do it." "Your way this time." "Kamal:" "Sure?" "Drew:" "Yeah, I, I can't do it without you." "Kamal:" "So the third and final principle of success is effort." "No one gets nowhere without 120% effort." "Take the the biggest and best shots possible." "Go big or go the fuck home." "Drew:" "Just tell me how to proceed." "Kamal:" "First off, I'm going to need you to prep the stables." "Drew:" "Prep it for what?" "Kamal:" "Blood Drew." "The're going to be a lot of blood." "While you're doing that I'll be prepping the tools." "We're going to need the best to pull this off." "SlicePro." "Like I said, the shits legit." "(sharpening knives)" "(Music)" "(Music)" "Kamal:" "We'll need to burn everything that isn't flesh." "Anything physical that can connect back to them we burn." "Drew: [unintelligible] we chopped up we can't burn those." "Kamal:" "Got to dispose of it here." "Drew:" "How?" "(Music)" "(ominous music)" "(ominous music)" "Kamal:" "You can do this man." "Just let the blades do the work." "(thump from knife)" "Dead Girl:" "Screams" "Kamal:" "Did you hear me?" "Just let the blades do the work." "Drew:" "Yeah, yeah." "Let the blades do the work." "(ominous music - chopping)" "(ominous music - chopping)" "(ominous music)" "(ominous music)" "Spencer:" "Uh!" "(ominous music)" "Vik:" "Uh, we don't know what's going on inside there." "Here, we better go in heavy." "Allan:" "Heavy?" "Vik:" "Heavy." "When are you going to understand the fucking' lingo Allan?" "This isn't Shakespeare." "You want me to say weaponry?" "(chopping and hammering)" "(chopping and hammering)" "Kamal:" "Dude, everything okay?" "Drew:" "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine." "Kamal:" "I hate to bring you down, but we got a problem." "Mr. Baldwin won't eat." "Drew:" "What?" "Kamal:" "Yeah and he's being a real picky bitch about it too." "Drew:" "Oh wait." "I think I know what to do." "(Sighs) Fuck. (Sighs)" "Mmmm." "You don't know what you're missing Mr. Baldwin." "It's so good Mr. Baldwin." "You don't know what you're missing man." "(gagging) That's great." "Right Kamal?" "Kamal:" "Uh." "Drew: (gagging) So good." "Kamal:" "Oh, Mmmm, Oh yeah, I've never had such divine human before." "Drew:" "Mmmm, so tender, juicy." "You should try it Mr. Baldwin." "Come on." "Mr. Baldwin: (Eating)" "Drew:" "There you go." "Good, good boy." "Oh thank God." "Oh fuck." "Kamal:" "It's so nice in my hands." "Drew:" "Dude you can stop." "He's eating, he's eating, come on." "Drew:" "Okay, so we'll have a drink while" "Mr. Baldwin is eating." "Clean up anything left and then call it a day." "(ominous music)" "Katrina:" "Lance?" "Lance Bryant?" "I here to make wife." "Drew:" "Oh." "Katrina: (Ukrainian) Katrina." "Drew:" "Can you, can you give us a second?" "Please." "Just one second." "Yeah." "What?" "Please, just back up a little bit." "Um, just move, yeah just." "Kamal:" "We're not talking about you." "Drew:" "Nope." "Thank you." "What the fuck?" "Kamal:" "If that's Lance's girl who the fuck did we chop up?" "Drew:" "I don't know man." "I should have called the police to start with." "What the fuck was I thinking?" "Kamal:" "What the hell are you talking about?" "I'm the one who wanted to call the police." "You're the one obsessed with this job." "Drew:" "I just wanted to box her back up the way she was." "You're the one who wanted to fuckin'" "Now we dismembered her body for no reason." "Kamal:" "Two actually." "Drew:" "Two bodies." "We're so fucked." "Kamal:" "No it's okay." "We're okay." "Drew:" "How are we okay?" "Kamal:" "We took care of one girl." "Right?" "Drew:" "And the security guard." "Kamal:" "Any evidence is gone." "Drew:" "Yeah-yeah." "Kamal:" "And now Lance's girl showed up so we're golden." "Drew:" "How are we golden?" "Kamal:" "We're clear man." "We never bring up the bodies." "Drew:" "Of course not." "Kamal:" "Lance gets his girl and nobody goes to jail." "Everybody wins." "Drew:" "Yeah, everybody wins, yeah." "Kamal:" "Now let's get back to her before she dies of boredom and we have to chop her up too." "Kamal:" "Twosome?" "Kamal:" "Ready?" "Drew and Kamal:" "Hi." "Katrina:" "Hello." "Drew:" "We have been expecting you." "Yeah?" "Kamal:" "Yeah." "Katrina:" "Lance?" "Drew and Kamal:" "No, no, not Lance." "Katrina:" "Knwet?" "Katrina:" "Lance?" "Kamal:" "No, I'm not Lance either." "I really want to be, but I'm not." "Drew:" "Um, oh, oh, actually that's Lance." "Um, the man in the picture." "Katrina:" "Lance?" "Drew:" "In the woods, yep, that's Lance." "Kamal:" "Tak." "Drew:" "So Lance will be here tomorrow." "Um, so you'll stay the night here and then tomorrow you'll see Lance." "Kamal:" "You look thirsty sweetie." "You want some vodka?" "Katrina:" "Vodka?" "Katrina:" "Oh, tak." "Drew:" "Yeah, yeah." "Drew:" "Yeah, that's a great idea." "Um, so he, he's going to take you to the bar in the kitchen and get you some " "Kamal:" "Vodka." "Katrina:" "Vodka?" "Lance?" "Drew:" "No, he, Kamal will and then I'll carry your suitcase down to the master suite." "Kamal:" "Yes." "Oh, right this way my lady." "Please we go." "We can talk about Gorbachev." "Drew:" "Nice to meet you Katrina." "Kamal:" "Oh, what is that red spot on Gorbachev's head?" "(Knocking and doorbell ringing)" "Drew:" "Hi." "Woman:" "You live here?" "Drew:" "No actually." "I'm just looking after the place for the guy that does." "Woman:" "Okay." "How long you been here?" "Drew:" "I guess this will be my second night." "Woman:" "So you were here yesterday?" "Drew:" "Can I help you with something?" "Woman:" "These look familiar you son of a bitch?" "They're dollars." "Drew:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "Yeah, I see that they're dollar bills." "Woman:" "Yeah." "Drew:" "Three of them." "Woman:" "These are the exact dollar bills that you used to swindle my scouts out of four boxes of thin mints." "Uh-huh, yeah, remembering now?" "Four boxes that are three-fifty each." "Drew:" "Huh!" "You're right." "I think you're right." "I'm sorry." "I probably miscounted." "It was " "Woman:" "You think you can rip off my girls, huh?" "(punches)" "You think just 'cause they're girls you can just ... your bad ass can get a discount on some cookies. (punches three times)" "Yeah, uh-huh, somebody order a pizza?" "[unintelligible] on top of it." "Drew:" "Listen lady it was a busy day." "I'm sorry." "I wasn't thinking." "Woman:" "Yeah I appreciate you calling me a lady." "I appreciate that, okay, but you know what?" "You weren't thinking." "You weren't thinking that those troops also had an amateur mixed martial artist as a leader." "Woman:" "Throw down." "Drew:" "I didn't know that." "Woman:" "Throw down." "Drew:" "I didn't know that." "I'm sorry." "I haven't opened the cookies yet." "Okay?" "I'm [unintelligible] for you." "There's three boxes." "You can take them with you." "Woman:" "You think I want those cookies?" "Look at me." "Look at me in the eyeballs." "I don't want your fucking cookies." "Not after you had your little hands over them your little baby hands." "Did you ever work a day in your life?" "Those thin mints used to have dazzle in them now they got your little baby hands on them." "Drew:" "Okay." "Woman:" "Your man juice." "Drew:" "Okay, okay, what do you want from me then?" "Woman:" "You know what I want?" "Woman:" "I want you to pay me back [unintelligible] for those cookies that you stole." "Okay?" "Yeah." "Full reimbursement." "Plus you're going to reimburse me for the mileage that it took for me to drive my SUV all the way over to this well-heeled neighborhood." "Drew:" "That's not a problem." "Woman:" "Oh good." "Good." "Shake your head yes." "Shake your head yes." "Drew:" "My wallet is over there." "You can take whatever you want." "Woman:" "Good, good." "Drew:" "Then please leave." "Woman:" "I got a date tonight with a guy." "Drew:" "Just take the whole wallet." "Woman:" "All right, all right." "Woman:" "I got [unintelligible] for that pussy." "Drew:" "Actually on second thought you can go fuck yourself and fuck your cookies too." "Because they taste like shit." "Woman:" "Oh, okay." "Woman:" "Okay, yeah, yeah." "Drew:" "Now listen." "Turn around." "Drew:" "Walk out that door." "Woman:" "Okay, which way do I go?" "Drew:" "Out the door." "Okay?" "Drew:" "Okay, you got it?" "(falls)" "Woman:" "Yeah, I got it." "Woman:" "Yeah, you're saying something about my cookies?" "Drew: (grunting)" "Vik:" "What the fuck is going on here?" "That, that, that piece of shit you're stepping on sister he belongs to me." "Woman:" "This piece of shit owes me money." "Vik:" "He owes me a lot more than that." "Woman:" "Yeah, well you're going to have to wait in line gramps." "Vik:" "Uh, but I don't like waiting in lines." "Now look, hon, I got to ask this, this asshole some questions about my granddaughter." "Then you can have what's left." "Drew:" "Look man." "I don't know anything about your granddaughter." "OK?" "I'm just the house sitter." "Vik:" "Oh, you're going to lie to me now." "Vik:" "Fuck, I want to know how you assholes got possession of my granddaughter." "Kamal:" "I already told Jubakka over here she showed up on her own like 20 minutes ago you fucking idiots." "Alan:" "Watch your mouth Gandhi." "Vik:" "Allan take it easy." "Agent Granger:" "All right." "Everyone freeze." "DIC." "The house sitter is coming with me." "Woman:" "Oh, what did he do to screw you up?" "Agent Granger:" "Does it concern you?" "I'm here for him and Lance Bryant." "Katrina:" "Lance?" "Vik:" "Look, look, look," "I don't know who you." "I don't know what you want, but I need a little time to have some conversation with these two jerks here about, about my granddaughter and then you can do whatever you want with them." "Agent Granger:" "Holy shit." "You're Victor Koslav." "aka Big Vik Koslav, aka Big Bad Wolf Koslav aka Wolf Face." "Vik:" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you heard about me." "Huh?" "Agent Granger:" "Yeah, thought you were out of this game years ago." "Vik:" "I'm staging a comeback now, but first I want to get some answers from these two idiots." "Agent Granger:" "Actually Vik, you know what?" "You're coming with me, too." "Vik:" "I don't think so." "Allan:" "Officer, we will make you an offer you cannot refuse." "Vik:" "Allan." "Agent Granger:" "Let the girl go and tell your man to lower his weapon." "Vik:" "I can't go with you because that was one of my plans for a comeback." "Agent Granger:" "Actually, you know what?" "You're coming with me." "Everybody is going with me into a big, fucking, happy van downtown." "We're going to sort it all out with [unintelligible]" "What the?" "Security Officer Jerry:" "Hey sir." "Agent Granger:" "Hey, hey." "Security Officer Jerry:" "Who's to say you even have jurisdiction in these parts?" "Agent Granger:" "I'm with the federal government." "I have jurisdiction in every part." "Security Officer Jerry:" "Every suit tells me that." "Vik:" "Who the hell are you?" "Security Officer Jerry:" "Jerry, Vault Home Security." "Barry, my brother, he's been missing all day." "While people don't say we look a lot alike, but we do we're easy on the eyes." "Have any of you seen my brother?" "Agent Granger:" "Tell you what." "How about you help me wrangle these people." "OK?" "Then we can look for Jerry." "Security Officer Jerry:" "Barry." "Agent Granger:" "Have you checked [unintelligible]" "Security Officer Jerry:" "Do you have a warrant?" "Agent Granger:" "No." "Security Officer Jerry:" "Yeah, you don't have a warrant." "All right." "Since you don't have a warrant" "I'm going to have to ask you to vacate Lance Bryant's house." "Marta:" "Mr. Lance no home now." "Vik:" "Who are you?" "Marta:" "I clean your room now Mr. Drew." "Oh, I clean later." "Agent Granger:" "That's a good idea Miss." "We clean later." "Woman:" "Thought you learned your lesson?" "Drew:" "Fuck." "Agent Granger:" "Hey ma'am, I need you to hold it right there." "Woman:" "Maybe I should grab it myself." "And fuck off your nut bag with it." "You know what?" "Take you dick and shove it up where your mom fuckin' put it." "Agent Granger:" "Don't do that ma'am." "Ma'am do not touch that." "MA'AM!" "(gunshots)" "Kamal:" "What the fuck was that?" "Drew:" "I don't know man." "Kamal:" "Are you okay?" "Drew:" "Yeah, fine." "Are you?" "Kamal:" "Yeah." "Kamal:" "Is it still considered a Mexican shootout if there aren't any Mexicans involved?" "Drew:" "What?" "Kamal:" "I guess Marta was here for a second." "Drew: (breathing heavy)" "Agent Granger:" "You guys want to tell me what the fuck that was about?" "Drew:" "Honestly, I have no idea." "Everyone showed up at the same time looking for someone else and I don't know." "Agent Granger:" "Well the girl she's with Lance." "Right?" "I mean she's here with the sex ring the whole time he's involved in all that." "Drew:" "No, she was here by choice." "I'm pretty sure." "She gave me this." "Agent Granger:" "Look, I'm going to need a statement." "OK?" "I need you to come down and make a statement because if what you say is true it would really help in clearing Lance " "Drew:" "Behind you." "Agent Granger: (shoots Vik)" "Drew:" "Oh, oh," "Agent Granger:" "You know what?" "Fuck the statement." "Drew:" "Yeah, fuck the statement." "Agent Granger:" "I don't need a statement." "Agent Granger:" "Yeah because we're going to have to take the fuckers off of Lance right now so just " "Drew: (breathing heavily) we'll just forget about the statement." "Agent Granger:" "Yeah I know." "Kamal:" "You'll take care of them, too." "Agent Granger:" "What?" "Kamal:" "The bodies?" "You'll take care of the bodies too." "Agent Granger:" "Do I look like a fucking warlock?" "(Music)" "Drew:" "All right." "Should probably start prepping the stables." "Those bodies aren't going to dismember themselves." "Kamal:" "Five more minutes." "Let's try and appreciate this shit for five more minutes." "Drew:" "Yeah, you're right." "Five more minutes." "Spencer:" "Two-faced bastards." "Drew:" "Oh!" "Spencer:" "Listen Kamal." "I thought you and I were friends." "I thought you and I created a special relationship." "Until I found this." "Uh-hum." "I knew you were keeping her from me." "I just knew it." "Kamal:" "We thought she was Lances." "Believe me." "We totally would have gotten her the fuck out of here if we knew she was yours." "Trust me." "Drew:" "Yeah." "Spencer:" "Just because something is delivered to you by mistake that doesn't give you the right to open it up." "Now Kamal knows that I'm a professor that's accustomed to certain boons or benefits rather that aren't awarded to other people easily." "One such is my exclusive membership to a harvested organ exchange program." "Drew:" "A harvested what?" "Spencer:" "Yeah, it may not be 100% legal, but raw cadavers are prime for research." "And this woman died of natural causes." "I assure you." "Then she donated herself to science." "But she also cost 20 thousand dollars." "So gentlemen, please tell me that you have her well refrigerated." "Drew:" "Oh." "Kamal:" "Yeah, about that." "Spencer:" "What?" "Drew:" "Well we really did it with the best intentions." "Spencer:" "You did what?" "Kamal:" "We chopped her up." "Drew:" "Fed her to Mr. Baldwin." "Spencer:" "You're telling me you destroyed her." "You destroyed her. (sighs)" "Guys you owe me 20 grand." "Drew:" "Oh." "Kamal:" "We don't have that kind of money." "Spencer:" "Fine." "Let's get Lance to help you get it." "I'm sure he will once I explain to him what irresponsible house guests you've been." "Kamal:" "Spencer you can't." "Drew would lose everything if Lance ever found out." "Spencer:" "I don't give a shit." "Drew:" "Actually Kamal, I think I have a solution." "Spencer:" "I don't have time to waste." "Drew:" "Yeah, I think you're going to be happy." "Will this do?" "Spencer:" "Absolutely." "Absolutely." "Guys you have no idea the work I can do with these." "Come on in. (kisses them) Come on in you guys." "You guys." "Okay, I got to get them home." "Get them on ice ASAP." "(Music - birds singing)" "Kamal:" "Sure you don't need me to stay?" "Drew:" "Oh no, it's cool man, okay." "I think I can probably handle it from here." "Thanks Kamal." "Kamal:" "Kam." "Drew:" "Good seeing you man." "Kamal:" "You too man." "Kamal:" "You did it." "Kamal: (sighs) It's time for me to sell these knives." "Drew: (chuckles) I know you will." "Kamal:" "Yeah, talk soon." "Drew:" "Yeah." "Kamal: [unintelligible]" "Kamal: [unintelligible]" "Drew:" "Oh!" "No!" "Drew:" "I know it all sounds crazy, impossible even, and if I were you" "I'd have a hard time believing it myself." "But I've changed from this whole experience." "I really have." "At one time in my life, back home maybe, you could say I was only a caterpillar and on my journey here I was in a cocoon and I now I can confidently say the cocoon has hatched." "I am now a butterfly." "A beautiful and fully developed butterfly that's ready to fly and at the end of the day" "I need [unintelligible] so thank you Lance." "Your kind generosity is what allowed me to escape my sad, unfulfilled existence, one previously destined for solitude, a collision course, if you will, threatened by peril and torture." "It's because of you that my world is suddenly wide open with opportunity, opportunity and freedom, freedom from the chains that bind me." "Like 911, I will never forget, never forget what you have done for me." "I know it isn't much, but please in my [unintelligible] accept my bag, and the contents within as a token of my appreciation." "I feel like even though they're not me they'll be able to adequately comfort you while I explore this country as I was meant to explore it." "Farewell for now Lance." "You'll forever be in my heart." "Love always, Katrina." "Spencer:" "Fuck." "Drew:" "You know I hate to say it, but it's probably for the best you weren't here when she stopped by." "Spencer:" "You said she was here for five minutes." "Huh?" "Drew:" "Yeah, yeah, just long enough to give me the letter and the suitcase." "Spencer:" "Just hope she finds whatever it is she's looking for." "Drew:" "Yeah." "Spencer:" "Why don't you come on by tomorrow?" "We'll talk about what it is you're going to do for me full-time." "Because Team Lance could use a reliable mother fucker like you Drew." "Drew: (sighs) Thank you Mr. Bryant." "Uh, I really appreciate that, I do." "Uh, but I think I'm going to ride it out at the furniture store a while longer, you know." "Spencer:" "You're not even curious about what you would be doing or what Team Lance is all about." "Drew:" "I've got a pretty good thing going right now." "I don't need to jump ship for another one quite yet." "Spencer:" "Okay Drew." "You're all right." "I mean you're a reasonable mother fucker." "Hear what I'm saying?" "(Music)"