"A man's man is the leader of the pack." "The kind of man othermen look up to, admire and emulate." "A man's man is the kind of man... who just doesn't get what women are about." "Nick, my ex-husband is the ultimate man's man." "I never should have married him." "I don't think he understood a thing about me." "This his office." "Want a peek?" "Don't worry, he never gets in before ten." "He'll send you on errands 'cause he can not do anything." "He's like a bachelor... the least politically correct guy." "He's the king of the T and A adds that we do." "You want babes in bikinis?" "He's your man." "My dad?" "How can I best describe him?" "He's always been..." "Like an uncle to me." "Yeah, uncle dad." "Although, Nick was a charmer." "Completely irresistible at first... which feeds into the whole "Man's man" thing." "You know about Nick's mother, right?" "Because once you understand about Nick's mother, you understand Nick." "Nick was actually born and raised in Las Vegas." "Nick's mother was a real honest to God Las Vegas showgirl." "When other boys were outside riding their bikes and playing ball..." "Nick was backstage hanging with the girls." "He was their mascot." "Their little pet." "They couldn't get enough of those baby blues." "Nick's mother just about killed it for every woman Nick would ever meet." "She had a lot of sugar daddy's in her life... but only one true love." "The boy with the family jewels." "...17, 18, 19, 20..." "And since Nick didn't have a father... his mother made sure he was always surrounded by strong male role models." "Men her little boy could really look up to." "Keep counting." "There was nothing normal about the way Nick Marshall was raised." "So, what can you expect?" "You don't have to be Freud to figure out... this was one cock-eyed way to enter the world." "Don't you ever knock?" "It's almost ten." "You gotta go to work and I gotta vacuum in here." "Vanilla perfume!" "Do you only know women who want to smell like candy?" "Could you toss me my lighter, babe?" "Babe?" "What am I, a little pig?" "I don't have time to make you no onion bagels so please do not start to beg." "And just for the record, I don't like finding these things in your sofa." "What kind of woman wears this?" "My mother wore underwear like that." "Just put them somewhere, will you, babe." ""Babe" will put it in the trash." "So your mother should excuse me." "Didn't you ever date a woman who wears real underwear?" "The kind that covers the..." "entire bottom the way it's supposed to?" "No." "If I ever do, should I call you?" "I'm gonna go clean the kitchen." "Could you toast me a little bagel?" "Like, cream cheese, tomatoes, capers if we have any." "Please." "I can't think on an empty stomach." "Okay." "But only because you didn't..." "call me that little pig name." "Okay." "You got it, babe." "Mr." "Marshall." "How you doing today?" "I'm fit as a dancing bear." "I'll get that cab for you." "That's some set of pipes you got there." "You have an excellent day, sir." "And you." "At ease." "I'm so sorry!" "I did not mean to do that." "Here, let me get that for you." "It's okay." "No, I'm mortified." "I can see your... hands are full." "Let me, let me, sorry, let me get the door for you" "Thank you." "No, thank you." "Half café grande non fat thick foam wet cap no lid." "So, when do you find out?" "Today I think." "Unless I didn't get it... and then I will just never find out." "I'm sure I didn't get it." "They were looking for an "Earth Mother" type." "I overheard the director say I was no space cadet." "I'm an actress, I can be whatever you want." "Is that true, can you?" "It better be." "Or I'm stuck in a..." "coffee shop for the rest of my life." "Thank you." "Oh, hi, Nick." "Hi." "Ah, Lola my love." "When are you gonna let me buy you dinner?" "Why you don't believe me?" "I'm not your type." "Cappuccino, extra foam." "Tall or grande?" "Grande." "Or at least I like to think so." "Ha... next." "You know, I'm getting some big news... at work." "Why don't you come out with me, celebrate." "I'll buy you a cup of coffee." "Memo to you:" "I work in a coffee shop." "Hi, what can I get you?" "You want me to stop asking you out?" "Sorry." "If that's it, I'll stop." "All you've to do is give me the word." "Yes." "I'm going to give you the word because..." "I'm trying to be an actress." "I'm trying to concentrate on that." "And so, it would be a good thing if you wouldn't mind... stop asking me out." "You seem so stressed." "I am." "I'm stressed." "I'm stressed." "I have a lot on my plate." "Then let's not talk about this now." "Why don't I meet you tomorrow... 10, 10:30?" "Okay, that would be good." "So that's a date?" "It's a date." "Thank you." "Sir, that was inspiring." "I know." "Good morning, Sloan Curtis." "Good morning, Mr. Marshall." "Hey, what's the dirt, kid?" "I was at breakfast this morning..." "Hey, Norm!" "Ya winning?" "Of course." "I heard Miller is shopping around looking for a new agency." "Miller Lite." "I know, I'm all over it." "I also heard Darcy McGuire left B.B.D.O. Morning, Angela." "You're kidding." "Left or was fired?" "I don't know." "I know everyone over..." "there is thrilled to get rid of her." "Well, so much for itchy female vision." "So, the girl we met at the club, nothing happened after you put her in the cab." "It did?" "Something happened?" "What..." "she said she had to be in bed early." "Well, I had her in bed by eleven." "Or was it a quarter to?" "Yeah." "You... you're like a genius." "You know that?" "Oh, what can I tell you, buddy." "I'm blessed." "And today is my lucky day." "Not only is my ex-wife Gigi remarrying right about... now, but Wanamaker called me." "Said he wanted to see me." "Called twice." "Call me when he makes it official." "Hey, it's not gonna be as easy to suck up to "Creative Director" you know." "Not to worry." "I'll make us a lunch rez at the Drake to celebrate." "Don't count your chickens." "One o'clock?" "Pick you up." "Can I borrow this?" "Hey, Dina!" "Do you know the difference between a wife and a job?" "What is it?" "After ten years... the job still sucks." "That's a good one, huh?" "I wouldn't do that if I were you... no." "Oh, Mr. Marshall, hi." "I put the Gillette storyboards on your desk... picked up your shoes, got your glasses fixed." "The staff meeting was cancelled." "Oh, and I also got your cigarettes, they're right next to your laptop." "The staff meeting was cancelled?" "That's what I was told." "Good morning, girls." "Good afternoon, sire." "You know why the meeting was cancelled?" "Nobody called us." "Mr. Wanamaker wants to see you, which I told his office was fifteen minutes ago." "I know." "You couldn't show up on time today?" "You'll be promoted." "You look very sharp." "Like a creative director." "Very distinguished." "Are you two gonna be able to handle yourselves on the 44th floor?" "Are you kidding?" "We were made for the 44th floor." "Now get up there already so we can break out the bubbly." "Don't wait up." "Don't wait up?" "He's so adorable." "I'm sorry." "I was in the board meeting that'd never end." "You been here long?" "Oh, a couple of minutes, that's all." "Jess, can I get a cup of decafe and..." "Tylenol?" "Have we got any Echinacea." "And club soda, I've got something on my tie... you know what?" "Just get me another tie." "I saw the mock-ups you did for Johnny Walker." "They're fantastic." "That's my job, Dan." "So..." "I'm not great at making speeches, when I haven't got you to write them for me." "So, I'll do my best." "I've been in this racket for over 30 years." "And it doesn't get any easier." "The 80's were our glory days." "They were all about alcohol, tobacco and cars." "I was on top of my game." "In the 90's, men stopped dominating how the dollars... were spent." "We lost our compass." "Women between the ages of 16 and 24... are the fastest growing consumer group in the country." "We're talking about... girls who were born in the mid-eighties who control our advertising dollars." "Sorry, no Echinacea." "Hi, Nick." "Red or lavender?" "Red... no..." "Lavender." "That's good." "While we've been shooting beer commercials with the Swedish bikini... team, the industry's been transformed." "We were thee agency in town ten years ago, now we're struggling to be third." "If we don't evolve and think beyond our natural ability... we're gonna go down." "Think beyond our natural ability?" "I'm not quite clear what you mean here, Dan" "What do you know about Darcy McGuire?" "Oh, hey, I heard on the whisper, she just left B.B.D O." "I never met the woman, but I hear she's a real man-eater." "And she won the Cleo last year that we should have one for the add about..." "Yes." "That was her?" "I forgot about that." "I wish I had." "Oh, boy." "I hear she is a bitch on wheels." "That's very funny." "Yeah, why?" "Because I just hired her." "To do what?" "You know I love you, Nick." "It's a woman's world, and getting into a woman's psyche is not your strong suit." "You can get into their pants, but their psyche is a whole other ballgame." "You hired Darcy McGuire to do what?" "She hasn't done it on her own, somebody would grab her." "And she's smart, Nick." "She's very smart." "You made her creative director, didn't you?" "I'm sorry." "This isn't easy for me, but I got the board breathing down my neck." "She's coming in this afternoon." "You'll meet her." "Come on, roll with this." "Work with her, because she's got what I need to keep this place afloat." "She's got, meaning she's a woman?" "How can we compete with that?" "He's coming." "He's coming." "He's coming." "Not so fast girls." "Put it on ice." "We'll break it out soon." "We're not moving to the 44th floor?" "Not today." "Okay, Gigi, one more." "Gigi, your Ex is here." "Honey, you look like U$ 48 million." "Thank you." "May I kiss the bride?" "Sure..." "Nick!" "Congratulations, you're a lucky man." "Well thanks." "I happen to agree." "You're going on a cruise." "Two weeks?" "The cruise is just the last week." "Alexandra has an itinerary." "I faxed one to your office and to your apartment." "Ted's office has one, as does the school." "In case I fall off the planet." "You never know." "Hey, here she is." "Pretty in pink." "So, two whole weeks together, huh?" "Yeah, how are you gonna handle it?" "I'll love it." "You can take care of your dad." "Cook for me, get me my slippers." "Yeah, that'll be happening." "So, Alexandra has a boyfriend now." "Mom!" "I'm telling so he won't be surprised." "You have a boyfriend?" "You're only thirteen years old." "Am I?" "I thought I was fifteen." "We're gonna be fine." "Look." "I'm gonna meet Cameron." "Is it okay if I meet dad back at his place?" "Can she?" "Is it alright with you?" "Yeah, well..." "What time?" "Eight?" "Nine, maybe?" "Seven thirty." "Okay." "Bye, mom." "Oh, honey." "I'm gonna miss you." "I'm gonna miss you." "Have a good time." "Bye, pumpkin." "Nick..." "Honey." "Later." "Yeah, seven thirty's fine." "Thanks for asking." "And the name's dad." "Here you go." "Thanks." "Hey, I heard." "I can't believe this." "Now for my next headache." "Don't worry." "We'll get through it." "Everyone, everyone meet Darcy McGuire." "Hi." "Oh, hi." "Good to see everybody showed up." "Hi, Darcy." "Bob Watts." "Nice to see you." "What a pleasant surprise." "Hi, God what a small world." "Welcome aboard." "I'm so glad to see you." "Hello." "I'm Darcy." "Hi." "I'm Nick Marshall." "Oh, I've heard a lot about you, Nick." "And I've heard a lot about you too." "Oh, don't worry." "Can't all be true." "Let's hope not." "I'm very, very excited for you all to meet Darcy McGuire." "I know Darcy's extraordinary reputation as a leader in the field precedes her." "At B.B.D. O. Darcy led a creative team... that snagged 500 million dollars in new business wins." "And that was last year." "Here at Sloan Curtis, we've always prided ourselves... on our strategic thinking." "Now it's time for us to step up and once again prove... ourselves creatively in the marketplace." "I'm thrilled that Darcy has consented to move across town, join our team, and..." "Lead us into the twenty first Century." "Thank you, Dan." "And thank you, all for that warm welcome." "Let me start off... by saying the feeling is mutual." "I'm thrilled to be here." "When I first started in this business, it was my dream to work at Sloan Curtis." "In fact, I believe I even applied for a job here, twice." "Somebody call personnel." "But, it was B.B.D.O. that offered me a home." "And what I learned there was that any success I had... was a direct result of the team of people that I worked with." "I know that 2 heads are better than one." "I know that 5 heads are better than two." "I know that if we put our heads and our hearts into this company, we'll deliver." "I know that." "Now, I love challenges." "I love hard work." "I look forward to sitting at this table tossing ideas around until the morning... but most importantly, I want the work we do to say something about who we are..." "how we think, what we feel..." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "So, as our friends in Hollywood say, let's cut to the chase." "How are we gonna turn this company around?" "When Sears decided to go after women in their advertising and said..." ""Come see the softer side of Sears", their revenues went up 30%." "30%, that's huge." "Female driven advertising totaled 40 billion dollars last year." "And Sloan Curtis' share of that was..." "Zero." "If you want to sell an anti-wrinkle cream or a Ford Mustang to a woman... forgive me, but this is the last place you bring your business." "And we can't afford to not have a piece of a 40 billion dollar pie." "So, I have put together a little kit for everybody." "Nobody panic, this is supposed to be fun." "Every product in this box is looking for new representation right now." "And they're all made for women." "I'm sure all the women here are pretty familiar with most of these products." "So, for the men, let's just briefly run through them." "Here you go, Nick." "Thank you." "Each kit contains anti-wrinkle cream, mascara, moisturizing lipstick... bath beads, quick-dry nail polish, an at-home waxing kit... a "More wonderful" Wonder bra... a home pregnancy test... hair volumizer, pore cleansing strips..." "Advil, control-top pantyhose, and a Visa card." "Now, I want everybody to come up with something." "For one product, for two, the whole box." "Whatever moves you." "We'll get together tomorrow, have a show ant tell and see where we are." "How's 8:30 for everybody?" "Great." "See you at 8:30 tomorrow morning." "Nightmare." "Read my lips... night-mare." "Miss, miss, miss..." "Oh!" "Another 500 bucks." "...our dangerous game." "A game of chess against our old adversary..." "...the America." "Adversary?" "Well, surely you mean adversary, old boy." "...vinaigrette forarugula salad additional women's political caucus..." "Ah." "Buns of steel." "I'd steal her buns if I could." "And here it comes..." "Nailed the dismount!" "Now let's check in on the women's finals." "Women's finals." "There's way too much estrogen on television these days." "And as we all know, the perfect antidote to estrogen is... where's Frank?" "Oh, I need some Frank." "Okay, help me, buddy." "Help me now." "Don't panic." "This is supposed to be fun." "Okay." "Okay, I can do this." "I'm a professional." "Lipstick." "All right." "Lipstick on a guy's collar." "No, no." "Women'll hate that." "Lipstick on a guys collar that won't rub off." "No, that's even worse." "Okay, okay, okay." "Think, think like a broad." "All right, I'm a broad." "I see lipstick and... dark haired Tahitian beauty standing under a waterfall wearing nothing... but a thong." "Water cascading down her back..." "I'm a lesbian." "I got to change the music." "I wonder." "I wonder..." "Ah, Alex." "Thank you." "Ah, jackpot..." "Ah, she's hot." "You go girl." ""I'm a bitch, I'm a mother, I'm a brother, it's confusing... and I volumize my hair..." "I am not aware..."" "Looks like big dandruff here." "Smooth it out." "Smooth." "Get mascara." "Nice thick lashes." "Oh, shit!" "That stings!" "What the fuck?" "Okay, I need some anesthetic here." "Beautiful." "Okay... now for the piece de resistance, we have... we have the right leg." "Yes, excellent... and the hot, hot wax." "Very, very hot wax." "Ah!" "Oh!" "Hot!" "Ooh, that's hot." "Yes, test of manhood." "Here we go." "Passed." "And next, we..." ""immediately apply disposable cloth over the waxed area."" "This'll be good." "Feels kinda nice." "I don't know why women complain about waxing their legs." ""In one motion, yank the strip in the opposite direction of the hair growth."" "No, no, that'd be north." "And one, two, three..." "Ow!" "Women are insane." "Who would do that more than once?" "I don't know." "Why would anybody ever do the other leg?" "Yes, that's right, girls." "Wax it off then cover it up." "Yeah." "Shit!" "I guess this takes a little finesse." "One down, two to go." "Hey, honey you just lost yourself five pounds." "All right, where's my Wonder bra?" "Oh..." "Let's see which end is up here." "Hi!" "What are you doing?" "Exfoliating." "Yo." "You must be, um..." "Cameron, my boyfriend." "This is Nick." "Ah, her father." "That's nice nail polish." "Yeah, I'm just doing a new research thing at work, you know." "Trying to get into the female psyche." "Whatever." "Yeah." "I should probably take off." "No." "You don't have to." "It's cool, I'll call you later." "Okay." "Bye." "Nice meeting you, eh." "Yeah." "Excuse me, did you just kiss that guy?" "Where did you get this?" "In your zipper thing." "You're kissing?" "You went through my stuff." "It's an emergency, I needed some music." "What are you, allergic to listening?" "You never listen when I talk." "If I'm gonna be stuck staying here... then my stuff's gonna be laying around, okay?" "I don't want you to just go through everything." "What do you mean, I don't listen to you?" "You think you listen to me?" "Yeah." "You do?" "What's my boyfriend's name?" "Ah... it's..." "Goodnight." "No, no, no wait." "Come back, I..." "Dustin is his name." "Dustin." "That's his name, right?" "No?" "don't slam the..." "Car..." "Carson..." "Carmen..." "Carmine..." "Carmine!" "Carmichael!" "Can't remember a guys name and so they figure you're not listening to them." "What do women want?" "I know it has three syllables." "Cameron." "His name is Cameron!" "Oh, that's so dangerous." "90% of all accidents happen..." "Oh, what the hell has he done now?" "I hope he's not dead." "No..." "I'm fine." "I think." "Are you sure?" "No, yes." "Hmm, cleaner pores." "Thicker hair." "Very weird headache." "Very weird." "Now I've got to clean up bras and home pregnancy tests?" "The man doesn't pay... me enough for the things I have to do." "Oh Jesus, he's wearing pantyhose." "Now he's a cross dresser?" "I was just experimenting with a few products from work." "All right?" "Did I say anything?" "Oh, God." "It's eight o'clock already." "One day I'd like to sleep 'till 8." "He'd fire me if I wasn't here to wake him." "Woo!" "Are we in a mood today." "Same as every other day." "Honey, make me a little bagel with cream cheese." "You know I can't think on an empty stomach." "For your information, I'm not even hungry." "Who said you were?" "Mr." "Marshall." "Morning, Flo." "Let me get you a cab, sir." "Sure." "Thank you, Flo." "You're welcome my little sweet ass." "What did you say?" "Me?" "Nothing." "You sure?" "Yes, sir." "You know what?" "I think I'll walk today." "I could use the fresh air." "You have a great day, sir." "With your fine ass looking like Shaft!" "I could just ride that puppy!" "Hey!" "Watch where you're going!" "You okay, sir?" "I'm fine." "I'm fine." "Did I turn the coffee maker off?" "I can't remember." "I saw the light on..." "but did I actually turn the switch off?" "What?" "What?" "What?" "One kiss doesn't make me a lesbian... does it?" "I'm sorry, I..." "Two slices of toast, 150 calories." "Plus a tab and a half of butter another 150..." "So, estrogen is good for the heart, bad for the breasts." "My kid doesn't need riddylin." "...get him to listen to what I say." "Monsieur, I need to poop." "Oh, God!" "He nearly killed me." "Too bad he missed." "Morning." "Good mor..." "Don't look up." "He'll make me hear another disgusting joke." "He's such a schmuck." "She thinks that I'm a schmuck?" "Whoa, lighten up on that aftershave, buddy." "What?" "Oh, yeah, like you've got a perfect body?" "Jesus." "Hi, Mr. Marshall." "Ah!" "What?" "No, don't say it." "The Gillette budget's on your desk and I got you that Merlot... that you wanted." "Here's your credit card back." "Thank you." "You okay?" "Oh... ah..." "I have an Ivy league education, running your errands put me into therapy!" "Why don't you take me seriously and give me some real work to do?" "Oh, yeah, I remember why, because I have a vagina!" "Is there anything else I can get for you?" "Oh, good, You're on time." "Morning." "Morning." "What's the matter?" "You look a little different." "You know, I think maybe it's his hair." "It looks a little thicker, doesn't it?" "Give me your coat." "Mm, and you smell good today." "New cologne?" "That's it?" "No other thoughts?" "What do you mean?" "You feeling all right, doll?" "...Loans, limos, locks, looms..." "Hello, Nick?" "Ah, Nick?" "We got to go." "What are you doing?" "It's 8:30." "Can't go." "Got to find a doctor." "Need a cure." "I can't go." "Can't go." "You sound like the guy from "Shine"." "What's wrong with you?" "Maybe I don't need a doctor." "Maybe I need like an exorcist." "Under "X " no, under "E"." "An exorcist expert, no, "E"." "There are no exorcists in the greater Chicago area, bud." "Now let's pull it together here and go sell some sensitive feminine shit, okay." "Sorry to interrupt." "Here you go." "By the way, your hair looks really good today, Mr. Marshall." "And it's okay, you pay me minimum wage, because I the company phone... to call my boyfriend in Israel." "For an hour." "Tell me you heard that." "Your hair looks really good." "So what?" "The... the other thing." "The what she was thinking thing." "I don't think she thinks too much, she's not exactly a genius." "She went to an Ivy League school, pal." "Doubt that." "The other thing she said about the boyfriend in Israel, you heard that?" "Dude, I didn't hear it, 'cause she didn't say it." "Now let's pull it together." "We're gonna be late for our sorority meeting, okay?" "Look, in case I like, maybe die today..." "Can we walk and talk, 'cause in case you live, I don't wanna be late." "Okay?" "Here's what happened just in case the coroner asks, okay?" "I got drunk last night, and I tried on all the products from the pink box." "You did not!" "I put on all the products, okay?" "Nail polish, pantyhose, everything." "You tried on the pantyhose?" "Yes!" "Anyway, I was drying my hair..." "I fell over and fell into the bathtub and blacked out." "And when I woke up..." "I could hear what every woman around me was thinking." "I'm talking private stuff, that nobody is supposed to hear, I hear that stuff." "You know what I'm saying, man?" "I can hear what women think." "Can you?" "'Good, 'cause that's not a talent a lot of guys have these days." "Don't believe me." "You want me to prove it?" "See this attorney coming towards us?" "She thinks you're overpaid and gay." "What?" "I can hear what they're thinking." "It's driving me crazy." "I can hear poodles." "Okay." "Just so we're on the same page here, I need you to know..." "You sound insane." "You're freaked out over losing the job, but if you... tell anybody else that you can hear the inner most thoughts of a French poodle..." "What if I jumped out the window?" "Put the fruit down and jump." "Would they notice?" "Probably not if I didn't get glass on anybody." "The girl with the fruit's kinda funny, suicidal, but she's funny." "Nick, what girl with the fruit?" "Hmm?" "Last one to arrive, wants me to know I'm not his boss." "Okay, you're a star..." "I get the message." "She thinks I'm late because I want..." "her to know she's not my boss." "Put a lid on it." "I'm begging you." "Oh, I can't believe I have butterflies in my stomach." "Feels like the first day of school." "Okay, so let's see how we did." "Nobody wants to go first." "Everyone's avoiding me... except Nick Marshall." "Unbelievable, the only one with good eye contact." "At least he's looking at my eyes and not down my blouse." "So, Nick, what did you come up with?" "Me?" "What did I come up with?" "Well..." "He's so wired." "Mostly I thought about the moisturizing lipstick." "Um... never having worn lipstick myself..." "I tried to imagine what I'd want from lipstick, you know, if I were a woman." "Uh, spare me!" "Okay, he's trying to be honest." "You know, to be perfectly honest..." "I thought of was a Tahitian beauty bathing under a waterfall..." "I'm gonna die here with these kinds of ideas." "...but, ah, you know, I'm working on it, and it's evolving." "I don't suppose anybody's interested in an idea involving the Swedish bikini... team, I do know them all personally." "Of course you do." "Oh, what an idiot." "Grow up already." "What a pig." "I should have asked for more money." "Dina." "I spent the night trying to figure out how to sell Advil just to women." "You know what?" "We should sell it to women like me." "I take it every time I need to fake a headache." "Works like a charm." "I got a great one." "Just came to me." "Do you mind if I interrupt, Dina?" "No." "Sure, go ahead." "I hate that you've seen me naked." "All right." "We're in a bedroom, the lights are out." "A woman is taking an Advil." "Her husband turns over and suggestively rubs her back... and we say "Advil... so mild and gentle... you can take it even when you're faking a headache."" "Then she turns to her husband and she says "Not tonight, I need an Advil."" "He's back." "What?" "Come on, that doesn't reach women on a personal level?" "No." "Women do that, don't they?" "I don't do that." "Not me." "Sue Cranston." "You've done that haven't you?" "I mean, faked a headache to... you know." "No, Nick I haven't, but thanks for asking." "No, no, no." "Wait, wait, wait." "Be honest now." "I mean, you've been married what, ten, twelve years?" "You've never in all that time faked a headache?" "It doesn't work like a charm?" "No, Nick, I haven't." "I mean... no, it doesn't, okay?" "Jeeze." "What an asshole!" "Okay, I guess I'm way off base here." "What's good is that you're looking at Advil from a woman's point of view." "I don't think Advil will go for it and I'm sure every woman in US will hate it." "Other than that, it's great." "You're on the right track." "Hang in there." "Go ahead." "Great antenna there, babe." "The poodle give you that one?" "What are you doing home so early?" "I have my first migraine." "This is hideous!" "My boyfriend's feeling me up in front of my father." "Alex, don't think anything. "The outlook wasn't good for the Mudville."" "Oh, shit!" "Where's my bra?" "Where is it?" "Oh, God." "Oh, God!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, look." "Everybody just needs to chill here, all right?" "There'll be no chilling." "Just get your stuff and..." "move on." "Come on, man, relax." "How old are you?" "I just turned 18." "She's 15." "She was 10 five years ago, You know what I'm saying, stud?" "Now get out." "Dad!" "We're going to the prom." "Don't ruin it!" "You're not going to the prom with him." "How did you know about the prom?" "I don't know." "Mom told me, all right?" "But it's not gonna happen because I know what boys his age want and he's not..." "getting it from my daughter." "Door." "Daughter?" "Suddenly I'm your daughter?" "How am I related to this asshole?" "Another one." "I want mom." "Hey, look." "I'm just gonna take off." "I'm really sorry about..." "Save it." "That's mine." "Where... where are..." "Great day." "Okay..." "I'm not losing my mind." "This'll work." "Gotta work." "Got to work." "Ow!" "Shit!" "Perfect!" "Come on!" "Do your thing!" "Turn me into me again!" "Oh... good, I'm not dead." "Oh, please." "Please, please." "Tell me I got rid of it." "Please be a woman." "Please." "For what city please?" "Couldn't you do me a favor and think of your favorite color or TV program?" "For what city please?" "Flo?" "Hey, Flo?" "Flo?" "I can't believe this." "I need a woman." "Try this one." "Oh, I love this." "This is fantastic." "Oh, it's my mother's birthday next week so I need two gift sets I appreciate it." "Do you have a Kleenex back there so I can wipe that off?" "Do I get a free gift with this?" "Yeah, I can give you a..." "Thank you." "...you got the dress, treat yourself to lipstick." "No, I have enough at home." "I have piles of them." "I don't need it." "If he doesn't answer that phone in the next two rings, I swear to God!" "Hi, blue eyes." "Doctor Perkins?" "I'm Nick Marshall." "I came here ten years ago with..." "my ex-wife Gigi." "Oh, Christ." "Not him." "Oh, good, you remember me." "I'm sorry to barge in, but I don't know who to turn to." "I'm desperate." "I'm afraid to go to work." "I'm afraid of my doorwoman, to get a cup of coffee." "Mr. Marshall, please slow down." "Slow down." "Let me make sure I completely understand what it is you're saying." "All right." "I hear what women think." "This kind of imaginary displacement scenario really isn't my thing." "I'm not imagining..." "I do, however have a very good friend over at University Hospital who... specializes in men with male menopause and testosterone depletion." "She's fabulous." "I think what I'll do is just give her a ring... and send you over there." "Why did I answer my door?" "I was so to buying that lamp on Ebay." "How much was it going for?" "How much was what going for?" "The lamp on Ebay." "Oh, I see." "That's good." "Very clever." "Doctor Skolnick please." "All right." "You don't believe me." "Well then, try another one." "Pick a number." "Any number." "Okay, a number between one and..." "A million." "Why not?" "One and a million?" "All right." "644,998....9." "Wanna make a decision here?" "Oy vay." "Oh, you can say that again." "I didn't say anything." "That does not mean I didn't hear it!" "Okay." "Let's say I do believe you." "That you are... that you can hear what women think." "Even though I'm a grown woman of..." "51." "47." "Oh, my lips are sealed." "Holy crap!" "Oh, forgive me." "It's all right." "But this is Phenomenal!" "That you can hear inside my head." "Why would you want to get rid of such a brilliant gift?" "Well, for starters, almost every woman I know thinks I'm..." "an asshole." "I thought that when I first met you." "Doc, could you please give me a break here?" "you might find this a little unorthodox, but would you mind awfully if I smoked?" "No, no, no." "I understand." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "Let's try and look at the up side of this shall we?" "You know, Freud died at age 83 still asking one question." "What do women want?" "Wouldn't it be strange and wonderful if you were the one man on earth... finally able to answer that question?" "Listen to me, Nick." "Some extraordinary and miraculous has happened to you." "My advice is you must learn from this." "All women that I treat wish her man understood her better." "If men are from Mars and women are from Venus... than you speak Venusian." "The world can be yours." "I don't know how this happened to you or why... but you just may be the luckiest man on earth." "Imagine the possibilities." "If you what women want, you can rule." "Hubba-hubba here he comes looking awfully good today." "And I haven't had sex in four months." "Okay, six." "Oh, why did I tell him to stop asking me out?" "I'm an idiot!" "Idiot!" "Idiot!" "Hey, Nick." "How's it going?" "Lola, my love." "I can't take no for an answer." "About what?" "About what?" "About us." "Just don't hurt me, Nick, I've been hurt too many times." "I know how hard it is to go out with someone new." "I mean, there's always that fear of, well... getting hurt." "Always that's how I feel inside." "Do you really?" "All the time." "Me too, all the time." "So, let's just take it slow and see how it goes." "Slow is good." "Slow is really good." "Yeah." "You free tonight?" "So you don't think I'm gay." "You're saying you never said that?" "Right, I never said that." "But didn't you think it?" "The highlights..." "happen to be natural." "Morgan, I have a meeting." "And don't you think I'm overpaid?" "Enough." "I don't think, I ever said that." "Okay." "Who has he been talking to?" "Morning." "Morning." "Well then, check your e-mail." "I sent it over an..." "Hi, Annie." "How's the boyfriend in Israel?" "I wanna thank you for picking up that wine." "Appreciate it so much." "Ah... can I get you a cup of coffee?" "Or, um, some water?" "Any kind of beverage?" "No, but thank you." "If I'm thirsty, I know where the coffee room is." "That's right, guys." "Don't help." "Just walk right past me." "Why don't you just step on my hands you big..." "Here you go." "How you doing?" "Oh, fine." "Thank you, Mr. Marshall." "You're welcome..." "Erin." "Erin." "You be careful, all right, Erin?" "Yeah, sure." "It's heavy." "Well, what do you know, there is life on this planet." "Breakfast on Tuesday sounds great..." "Absolutely." "Thanks for the info." "Oh, and thanks for the champagne." "...you too." "Okay, bye-bye." "Set meeting-Nike-women's division." "Hi." "Hi." "Well, you've been here five minutes." "Looks like you've been here a year." "Oh, yeah." "I'm compulsive." "It's a problem." "Why do I always feel like he's checking me out." "Wonder what he's got up his sleeve?" "Great photographs." "No clue they're all Margaret Bourke White." "They're not all Margaret Bourke White are they?" "Yeah, they are." "Wow, it's a beautiful collection." "Thanks." "So, how's it going?" "I was gonna ask you the same thing." "It's starting slow." "I'm evaluating some of the staff and that's always hard." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, right." "Ah, well..." "I don't want to beat around the bush so, what I'd like to propose..." "Hmm, he's proposing so soon." "Oh, sorry." "Yes..." "Excuse me, you got another one." "Thanks." "I know nothing whatsoever about the products that you're going for... but I do believe I can sell anything." "Once I know what the buyers needs are." "And what I'd really like, with your kind indulgence of course... is to go after that really big fish." "I'll learn what I need to know and I'll real them in for us." "No, actually I'll real them in for us." "That's of course unless you're going..." "after something particular yourself." "No, no, no." "It's just that there's..." "several big fish at the moment." "Oh, yeah?" "What's your biggest fish?" "I mean, to your mind, who's your..." "who's your whale?" "Um..." "Nike?" "Women's division?" "You heard they were shopping?" "I got wind of it." "That's amazing." "I heard no one knew." "You knew." "I heard no one else knew." "Look, it's okay if I know what you know." "I mean, we're on the same team." "I heard that 2 heads were better than one... 5 heads are better than two..." "Oh, you were listening?" "More than you know." "Okay, here's what I heard." "Nike is shopping." "Quietly." "But if they make a change... it's gonna happen fast." "This is a tough one for us to get." "It'd be for anybody, but if we got it that's all we'd need." "I hear you." "So, what do they want exactly?" "They want to empower women." "What?" "Well..." "I'm..." "I'm sorry, I..." "That won't work." "Okay." "I'm sorry." "I understand." "Go on." "They want to get inside women's heads and reach them on a very real level." "Don't take this the wrong way, but you got jumpy talking about a lipstick." "Nike is state of the art, hardcore, women power." "You sure you wanna go after this one?" "You get them here in two weeks." "I'll be ready." "Huh, this guy's kind of exciting." "Hey!" "Glad I caught you both." "You got a minute?" "Sure." "I just want you to take a look at the boards for US Air before they come by." "It seems like there's something missing to me." "I don't like the graphics..." "feels a bit parochial..." "maybe it should be in black and white?" "What do you think, Nick?" "Well, I don't know who you've had working on these, Dan, but..." "I don't know... it seems kind of..." "what's the word... parochial to me." "Um, what do you think, Darcy?" "I totally agree, especially about the graphics." "They're... parochial." "It's so funny you just said that." "Why don't you get them to try it in BW?" "Might punch it up a little." "What, did you say something?" "No, I just swear I was thinking the exact same thing." "Were you?" "Black and white could really help." "Good idea, Nick." "Good idea Nick?" "Speak up!" "Quick, say something before he leaves." "Want me to take another look at the boards, give a buzz." "I will." "Thanks, buddy." "Ah, Dan?" "In case they find Nick's idea too retro, which they might, they may hear elegant... and think it's old fashion, I'd be ready with... maybe a dot com kind of thing?" "Maybe there's something about getting online and being online at the airport?" "I could maybe..." "No, no, I think we're fine." "Really." "I like Nick's fix on this." "Great." "Hey, wanna come by later, I got a box of new Cubans." "Just came in." "Great." "Cool." "You smoke cigars?" "No." "You know, your office is looking really snazzy." "I love the red." "Thanks." "Me, too, yeah." "Mr. Marshall?" "Your daughter's on line one." "I'm sorry, would you mind if I use..." "Here you go." "He has a daughter?" "Didn't picture that." "How old?" "She's fifteen." "She's staying with me while her mom's away." "He's married?" "Away on her honeymoon." "Alex, hi!" "Oh, sure, honey, no, that's great." "Honey?" "Who are trying to impress?" "Okay, look, I'm gonna go out with my friends... then can I bring them back to your place or will you freak out again?" "No problem." "Whatever you want." "What time are you gonna be home?" "Ah... wait for me." "I don't know." "I gotta go." "Eight's fine." "I love you, too." "Bye, sweetie." "Total shocker." "He's like a nice guy." "Sorry, duty calls." "No, of course." "Did you say fifteen?" "Yeah." "Got a boyfriend that's eighteen." "And you hate that, right?" "Oh... hate it." "Yeah, but she digs him and he's invited her to the prom." "Going to the prom is mostly about the dress." "You know that right?" "Is it?" "Oh, yeah." "Once you got the dress handled, it's all downhill from there." "This feels like a date." "Why did I get into all that?" "He needs to go." "Well, I'm outta here." "Do some research downtown." "Get inside women's heads." "Well. if you need any help..." "Oh, I'll be picking your brains." "You got it." "Okay." "Oh..." "God." "Candy." "She won't last a month." "I like, but you must've hips to use it." "Well, that one's cute." "That's low cut though." "I can't wear low cut." "Alex?" "It's open." "What?" "Say something." "Ah... hi." "I'm Alex's dad, Nick." "Hi." "Hi." "Dead beat." "Mr." "No-food-in the house." "Forgot her birthday." "Why is he just standing there?" "Oh..." "I just wanted to let you know that I was home, and I got sort of... a date later on tonight." "So I'm going out, but I'll be home early." "Why don't you guys order a pizza?" "There is not a scrap of food in the joint." "And I also wanted to know if you and I could go on a date soon..." "I'd like to take you shopping for a prom dress." "Oh... that is so sweet." "Wish my dad would do something like that." "Oh, I love him." "I don't get it." "First you throw Cameron out... now you wanna take me shopping so I can go to the prom with him?" "Well, I over reacted and I just wanna make up for it... by taking you out shopping." "I mean, it's a pretty important thing, you know." "I mean they say it's all downhill after the dress." "He must be stoned." "Fine." "I'll get the most expensive dress, shoes... make-up." "He can afford it." "And what the hell, let's go crazy while we're at it." "We'll get you new make-up, shoes, the works." "What do you say?" "Fine." "Whatever." "That would mean yes, yes?" "Yes." "Great." "Well... um, nice to have met you two." "I hope to see you again soon." "Definitely." "Bye, Mr. Marshall." "Oh, love the apartment." "Great view." "Thank you." "Oh, okay." "I gotta tell ya, I'm not usually like this on a first date." "It's just... you've been so amazing all night." "You've been so sensitive, so understanding and..." "hey, d'you wanna come up?" "Oh, yeah." "I can't believe I asked him up!" "Am I ready for him to come up?" "If I sleep with him he'll think I'm a slut and never call me again." "Or call me all the time 'cause he'll think he can get it whenever he wants!" "Oh, what's the difference?" "He's so incredible." "He reminds me of my sister." "So, what do you think?" "Lola, I'll only come up if you really want me to." "I mean, I don't want you to do anything that you're not ready for." "I can wait." "He's got a great body, but... whoa!" "What's with the tongue?" "I'm gonna need the Heimlich maneuver." "Thank you." "Ouch!" "That's right, they're attached." "Now we're talking." "Ah... okay, lied about the "Grande"." "Ah, would you mind if we had the lights on, maybe?" "No, you want the light on?" "Yeah, it might help." "Okay, if it'll help." "God, I hope he's better with the light on... he's so all over the place!" "Just do it already so I can start faking it." "Is Britney Spears on Leno tonight?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah... fine." "What?" "What?" "Okay... all right now." "Let's pull this together, buddy." "I mean, this is what we do." "You okay?" "Yeah." "Just regrouping." "Lola, I can do this better." "Wanna bet?" "Yeah." "Ahhhmazing!" "Amazing!" "It was like you were more inside of me than anybody... ever!" "Oh, thanks, doll, I tried." "No, no, I mean you were inside my head." "Like, you knew what I wanted and how I wanted it." "And we connected in a way... that was beyond... beyond... oh... my heart!" "My heart is beating so hard!" "Who would of thought?" "Slow starter, then turns out to be a genius in bed." "Ladies and Gentlemen, Nick Marshall is a sex God!" "Okay, one more." "Time for one more." "You know why guys like doing it in front of the mirror?" "Because objects may appear larger than they actually are." "That's a good one." "Heard that in the beauty shop this morning." "But seriously, Dee..." "Yeah." "That other thing we were talking about before..." "He can't just ignore you all night, stay glued to the TV like some zombie... then expect you to turn it on light a light bulb." "I wouldn't put up with that." "I mean, you're either interesting, or you're not." "Ask him to decide." "Can I right that down?" "I'm either interesting or I'm not." "He'll shit a brick." "What if he says I'm not?" "He won't say that you're not." "Trust me." "Okay, I did it." "I told Haim I wasn't moving to Israel." "Yeah, good." "And?" "I said what you said." "He can be a writer anywhere." "If I'm going to be in advertising..." "I need to be here and not there." "And then he said...?" "I don't know, it was in Hebrew." "But I don't think it was "You got it." "See you next Tuesday."" "I don't know." "I'd wait it out." "He'll call you." "I can't." "I better call him back." "Be strong." "He will call you." "Well, girls, it's been nice chatting." "I've got to get back to work." "Wait!" "Don't you want to eat?" "Coffee or tea or... sandwich?" "Half and half?" "Cream?" "No, I'm cool." "Really." "Ah, but thank you anyway." "This was fun." "This is good." "More insightful than I would've thought." "This line doesn't feel exactly right." "That line isn't perfect." "There's something not right about it." "Isn't there?" "I mean, it's not bad." "It's insightful actually." "It's just... well, what do you think this woman's thinking?" "Ah... well..." "Let's see." "She's thinking about what she wants out of life." "What's she gonna accomplish?" "I mean, woman, you know, they think about that a lot." "I mean, surprisingly a lot." "Um, they worry all the time." "About everything." "You're so right." "How do you know that?" "Well, you know, even I had a mother." "Well, so maybe running gives her time off from all of that." "Maybe it gives her what she can't get any place else." "Look." "I want to be her." "She looks so free doesn't she?" "No one's judging her." "No boss or guys to worry about." "No games to figure..." "I like that." "No games." "That's good." "That'd be nice in life, wouldn't it?" "Okay, can I just think for one second?" "Take your time." "Okay." "No games..." "how do I get that in?" "She's running..." "it's early... it's quiet... and just the sound of her feet on the asphalt." "She runs alone." "No pressure." "No stress." "This' the one place she can be herself." "Look any way she wants." "Dressing any way she wants." "Think any way she wants." "No game playing." "No rules." "Rules... games... sports... rules... playing by the rules..." "playing games vs. playing... playing by the rules..." "playing games vs. playing..." "Why are you nodding?" "Because I think you're on to something." "Am I?" "Aren't you?" "Well, I was thinking about a play on words." "Um, something about games vs..." "I feel like I was onto something good." "Ah, playing games vs. playing..." "Sports?" "Yes!" "Thank you." "Do you like this?" "Oh... a lot!" "I like the idea that you can be yourself on the road." "I do, too." "Did I say that out loud?" "No..." "I was just..." "I circled around this." "Which's great... that we're both on the same... sorry, I'm not thinking straight." "My glands may be swollen." "Then they should be more swollen, you're doing great! "Nike, no games..."" ""..." "Just sports."" "All right!" "You should write that down." "Did he come up with that, or did I?" "Can I be..." "What?" "Well, can I be honest with you?" "Please do." "Before I came here I heard that you were a tough chauvinistic prick." "I didn't know you'd be that honest." "Sorry." "No, it's fine." "That's okay." "You must have looked so forward to meeting me?" "I was dreading it." "I had this whole other person built up in my mind." "Well, since we're sharing." "I heard a few things about you, too." "Oh, yes I'm sure." "I'm the "Man eating bitch Darth Vader" of the ad world." "Ah... verbatim." "Really?" "All right." "Well... nice to meet ya." "But that's not who I am at all." "Ah... just for the record." "I don't think that's who you are." "I don't." "Thank you." "I appreciate that." "See, no games equals embarrassing moment." "Don't fall for a guy at work." "Don't fall for a guy..." "Don't fall for a guy at work." "Why?" "Why what?" "Why don't I work on these storyboards and then bring them back 'round to you?" "Tomorrow if you're free." "I'm free." "Just call me anytime." "I'm flirting!" "What's wrong with me?" "Oh God!" "I just looked at his penis!" "Oh, I hope he didn't see me." "Oh shit!" "I just looked at it again!" "Stop it!" "Are you all right?" "I'm fine." "I got something in my eye." "All right." "So, great." "So, tomorrow will be... that'll be great." "I'll see you then." "Ah... good work, by the way." "You too!" "You sure you're all right?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Are you laughing at me?" "Yeah." "Good." "I didn't think anyone else was still here." "I didn't know anyone else was still here." "What time is it?" "It's after ten." "I didn't realize it was so late." "I feel so alone." "I didn't catch that, sorry." "I didn't realize how late it was." "And I'm glad you're here." "I'm stuck." "I feel so alone." "Want me to give you a hand with this?" "No thanks." "I'm okay." "Yeah." "I'm not buying it." "What's going on?" "Well, I have an early meeting tomorrow with Dan and..." "I wanted to make it later in the week so that I could be more prepared... than I heard that you slipped in there and took the only time he had left... which left me with 8:15 tomorrow morning." "I'm just not as ready as I wish I was." "Sorry." "Listen, you didn't do it on purpose." "I don't want him to be disappointed." "Why don't we go through this together?" "Really?" "I insist." "Unless you're too tired or something?" "No, no." "I'm not tired." "Yeah, I can see that." "It's so far beyond tired." "I've stopped sleeping ever since I took this job." "You have?" "Yeah, it's weird." "I um..." "How do I say this?" "You don't feel like yourself here." "No, I don't." "Not yet anyway." "Boy." "Plus I'm mad that I'm getting sick." "I never ever get sick." "In fact, you don't have to sit so close to me if you don't want to." "Oh, come here." "I'll brave it." "So, where do we kick off?" "Control-Top pantyhose..." "what do you say?" "Okay." "Personally I think they do the trick." "You've worn Control-Top pantyhose?" "Did you put a pair in the pink box?" "Seriously?" "Oh, yeah." "You are full of surprises." "Yeah." "No, no, no." "I mean that as a compliment." "I love that." "And how did you look in them?" "Oh... hot." "My daughter and her boyfriend walked in and I got them on with..." "And they said what when they saw you in your pantyhose?" "I think it was the turquoise Wonder Bra they noticed first." "And of course the nail polish." "Fingers and toes." "The dress you picked out is totally hideous." "I'm not coming out." "Oh, it can't be that bad." "Come on out." "I look like a nun." "An ugly nun." "Why, because it's gray?" "Gray is the new black." "If he says he likes it I'll die." "Okay, next." "This, I love." "Thank you." "Next." "I think this is the one." "I like that... no, I love that." "Okay, this is it." "Let me take a look." "Yes, I look older." "This is great." "Oh, girl, I need boobs." "Ah, I'll buy a padded bra when he's not around." "This' what I'll be wearing the last night I'm a virgin." "What I'll be taking off." "Alex, I want to talk to you about something that's pretty important." "I've never talked to you about this." "He's actually gonna try to be a dad." "This should be hilarious." "I haven't been the perfect dad." "Understatement of the Century." "Can you pass the bread?" "Yeah, sure." "But that does not mean I don't have the right to talk to you about... about..." "About...?" "All right." "You're a young woman now." "And you may be flirting with..." "the idea of... of..." "Having sex?" "Um, can I get a lemonade please?" "Well, you know boys and girls think very differently about sex." "And my hunch is, that girls... they just want guys to like them and hang out with them." "Whereas guys, and not all guys, all right?" "But... but most guys... they pretty much just wanna have sex." "What I'm trying to say here is, I don't want you to feel pressured because..." "your boyfriend's older than you." "Save it." "Mom had this talk with me... when I was 11." "I know you're supposed to have sex when you're in love." "And mom knows me for real and knows my friends and knows Cameron... so let's leave the parental talks up to here, okay?" "Plus I promised Cameron I'd do it prom night." "Let's not make me part of this Nick makeover, or this new thing you're into." "What new thing?" "This ridiculous new guy you're trying to be." "Clowning around with me?" "Asking if we can make a salad together?" "Watch "Friends" together?" "I mean, it's nuts after fifteen years of no relating." "I mean, come on." "Who are you to talk about relationships?" "You've never had a real relationship in you entire life.." "Look, I'm supposed to meet my friends." "So, I'm gonna go, okay?" "Sure." "Thanks for the dress." "She didn't even finish her lunch." "Johnny-come-lately, giving her advice?" "Oh, teenagers." "I think the talk worked." "She's totally right." "Move on, dude." "It's over." "Ah... please." "Now you've seen how the cake is assembled the next time you admire..." "a wedding cake you'll be able..." "That's so gorgeous." "Fit vibrant hair." "I hated being overweight." "I wanted to be thin, pretty and wear cute clothes." "It built it built and my health deteriorated and I couldn't walk..." "I couldn't stand up at the park for ten minutes while my kids played." "I tried... sitting on the swings, the chains cut into my hips and it hurt." "I couldn't... run and I couldn't move." "And I was tired and I wanted to be a good mom..." "What the hell's wrong with me?" "Hello?" "What am I doing?" "Darcy?" "How did you know it was me?" "I ah... just sensed it." "Shit I'm such an idiot." "I didn't think he'd be there." "Excuse me?" "I didn't mean to really call you." "I had your number here and I was thinking of you thinking of calling you." "Obviously I did call you." "Oh, no." "That's all right." "I ah..." "was thinking about you, too." "Well, here's to another great idea." "What?" "Let's meet for a drink?" "That's exactly what I wanted to say." "Sometimes I think you're a bit of a mind reader." "I don't have to be a mind reader with you because you say what you think." "I know." "It's a curse." "What, are you kidding?" "It's a relief." "An enormous relief." "Do you know how rare that is?" "To actually say what you think." "Do you have any idea how rare it is for someone to actually like that about me?" "Trust me, this has not been a great thing in my life." "My ex-husband didn't love me, let's just put it that way." "He didn't love you?" "Did I just say that?" "Oh, God!" "Um..." "I meant to say it." "He didn't love it." "That I spoke my mind." "If you want to know the truth, I'm not sure if he ever did really love me." "Yes, there's a conversation starter, God." "A smart person would just get so very drunk now." "How long were you married?" "A little less than a year." "I've been divorced about 9 months now." "We worked together." "You know that." "Oh, yeah." "I knew that." "I heard it." "What was that like?" "It was great in the beginning." "Then it changed, became competitive." "Suddenly the better I did, the worse we did." "The price I pay for being me." "I know that now." "No, no, it's true." "Do you want to know all this about me?" "Keep going." "Well, that's why I just needed to get out there on my own." "As scary as it was." "I mean, not scary, but um..." "well, yeah." "I was kinda scared." "Why?" "I don't know." "Guess I wasn't sure I could do the job." "I mean I thought I could do it, but I'm finding Sloan Curtis... a much tougher place to navigate than I thought." "I'm sorry." "This is insensitive of me, I know you were up for my job." "I'm sorry." "I'm not." "I'm not." "I've learned a lot from you." "Like what?" "Like what?" "You really love what you do." "You really love what you do." "Not as much as you do." "Don't say that." "You're so great at it." "I think Dan's even wondering why he even hired me." "Really." "I think the bloom is definitely off the rose." "Wanna hear something really great?" "Yeah." "I just closed escrow on my first apartment, ever." "Finally I own my own place." "What?" "Now I wish I was a mind reader." "I was just thinking... how men like me can get so screwed up." "I don't think there are men like you." "If we kissed would it ruin everything?" "Listen to me." "I think... you're one of the great women." "I really do." "I'm sorry." "I just meant to say thank you." "I'm so sorry." "Well, I guess I'll see you... in three and a half hours." "Nick, may I just say... you are an exceptionally great kisser." "No, I mean, really, really great." "I haven't had this much fun making out since..." "I've never had this much fun making out." "Me either." "What do you say we don't let this get weird at work?" "We have nothing to be embarrassed about." "We made out." "You and I made out." "And if I may, it was..." "Sexy as hell." "God, that's just what I was about to say." "Oh, but I think I said it first." "I think." "No, you did." "Um... well, all right then." "I'm a grown woman." "Just say it!" "Do you wanna come back to my place?" "Say it!" "Do you want to come..." "Good night, Darcy." "Goodnight..." "Goodnight." "What am I doing?" "Lola?" "Lola?" "I know I haven't heard from you." "Lola, how long have you been out here?" "Just a few um... hours." "Nick... you said that you wouldn't hurt me." "And then you slept with me and then you didn't call me for six days." "So, that in the world of "Me", that's torture." "We have this unbelievable life altering sex, and then you just disappear!" "I mean, you stopped drinking coffee!" "Lola, I'm so sorry." "It's okay." "It's okay, because I figured out your little secret." "You did?" "It's so obvious." "How else would..." "you know the things that you know?" "It wasn't so obvious to anybody else." "Nick, come on." "You're so sensitive." "You're so aware of my feelings." "You're so tuned in." "You talk to me like a woman, you think like a woman." "Nick!" "Come on, admit it." "You're totally and completely gay!" "I am?" "You're not?" "I mean, if you're not, You gotta tell me because based on... the other night just put me out of my misery." "Are you, or aren't you?" "Say you're gay." "Then I'm not nuts!" "I'm not undesirable." "Not rejected... by another guy." "Just say it!" "Say you're gay!" "Admit it!" "Okay." "I...." "I'm gay." "How gay?" "Oh, I'm as gay as it gets." "You're gonna make some guy very happy some day." "Oh!" "From your lips." "Nick... oh, I hate that I'm crying." "Well, look it... if things should ever change in that department..." "Oh, you'll be the first to know." "You promise?" "Oh, yeah." "I promise." "Oh, come here." "It was very nice to meeting, Nick." "And you." "And you." "Thanks for pip talk, yes?" "You two just take care of each other." "And hey, look... thanks for the yarmulka." "Oh, no problem." "You wear it well, yes?" "Happy trails, kids." "Darcy!" "I need to talk to you." "Oh-oh, look at him." "He is weird about it." "This is not about last night." "It's about the Nike meeting." "And I honestly believe in my gut, that you should make the pitch to them." "Oh, God." "I guilted you into this last night, didn't I?" "I think it'd be better if you did it." "No, no, no." "This is your baby." "I've got to go meet and greet these folks." "I'll see you in there." "It's not my baby." "Yes it is." "I predict no one will even know I'm gone until the files start to build." "It could be days." "Then someone will finally ask..." ""Where's the geek in the glasses who carries all the files?"" "Do you know the story on this Erin?" ""Miss Lonely heart" ..." "who knows?" "Oh, I know." "She's been here two years." "She tried to be a copywriter, got turned down, so she got stuck as a messenger." "What fool turned her down?" "You did, sire." "Did I ever meet with her at least?" "I don't think so." "As I recall, you told me to "Blow her off"." "Well..." "I wanna meet with her now." "The kid's got something." "It's kinda funny." "This's your lucky day." "I saw the Nike group." "All women." "You're specialty." "Come on, I'll walk you up." "I hate what I'm doing to Darcy." "I'll write her a letter and confess it." "What, you're doing Darcy?" "Since when?" "I said, I hate what I'm doing to Darcy." "Oh, boy." "Men are stupider, it's true." "Would you stop it!" "Well they are." "What do you mean they?" "Are you officially a woman now?" "Oh I wish." "A woman wouldn't have screwed over the woman she loved." "They don't think that way." "And you know this whole thing about penis envy?" "Yeah?" "Not true." "They don't envy." "Half of them don't like it." "You know who has penis envy?" "We do." "That's why we cheat, screw up, 'cause we're obsessed with our own equipment." "You ready?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "You don't be in front of a mirror before a run and wonder what the road... will think of your outfit... don't have to listen to it's jokes and pretend they're funny in order to run." "It would not be easier to run if you dressed sexier." "The road doesn't notice if you're not wearing lipstick." "Does not care how old you are." "You do not feel uncomfortable because you make more money than the road." "And you can call on the road whenever you feel like it." "Whether it's been a day, or even a couple of hours since you last date." "The only thing the road cares about... is that you pay it a visit every once in a while." "Nike." "No games, just sports." "They nailed it." "They hit a home run." "Where do we sign?" "Why are you not the happiest guy in Chicago?" "You just did so great." "Naw, naw." "I didn't so great." "We did so great." "No, actually... you did so great." "You." "You, me, we did great!" "Will you come with me someplace?" "I want to show you something." "No, I've something I need to finish." "Please?" "Please." "Come with me." "All right." "Should I close my eyes?" "No." "So, you see those top two floors right there?" "I do." "All mine." "I know." "Come here." "So this my living room." "It's beautiful." "What are you thinking?" "You've got that look you have sometimes." "Yeah?" "No, I was just wondering when you get to move in." "Well, they said two weeks, so..." "Okay, this is they dinning room." "The fireplace works." "Come here." "I can see elegant parties." "Waiters with caviar, you in a beautiful gown." "You can see all that?" "You're naked and I'm the only guest." "Okay, so this is upstairs." "There's a second bedroom... for a future office or whatever." "And this is my boudoir." "You're boudoir comes with pretty music." "It does." "Where's that coming from?" "Let's turn up the volume." "So, where's your bed going?" "Ah... right here." "So, if you had a bed, we'd be dancing on it." "I like it here." "I like it here, too." "No, I mean I like it... here." "Believe me, we're as excited as you are." "Dan?" "Yeah?" "I gotta talk to you." "Ok, he'll be there." "Bye." "I've got to talk to you, too." "Nike will announce that we won the account." "You saved my ass and the company's ass." "I had little to do with saving asses." "It's Darcy you should be thanking and that's what I want to talk to you about." "Darcy?" "Please, I was there yesterday." "The girl didn't open her mouth." "Look, I'm a big enough man to admit when I screw up." "I looked at the marketplace and I panicked." "Nick, forgive me." "I want you to step in here." "No, no, no, Dan you did the right thing when you hired her." "I mean, she is the best creative director I have ever seen." "Bar none." "This isn't about..." "I know she's adorable..." "But this isn't about that is it?" "No." "No." "Well not like that." "No." "No, please." "Look..." "I've been doing a lot of listening lately... and I've decided I need to take a leave of absence." "I mean, I need to get a way from here and get some perspective on things..." "What are you, nuts?" "What is this?" "What do you mean?" "This is the biggest account this company's ever landed!" "Who will run the shop?" "What're you talking about?" "Darcy's here." "You know, for somebody who listens a lot, you don't hear so well." "I had a meeting with her today." "I sat her down, we had a talk." "Oh!" "Dan." "You didn't." "Tell me you didn't fire her." "She didn't even put up a fight." "Hey, she's gone, pal." "No, it's not too late." "Call her." "Tell you made a mistake." "Hire her back!" "Hey, calm down." "I can't do that." "Why?" "'Cause I talked to the board." "I told... them I don't need her anymore." "They offered a settlement and she took it." "Nike says they want you." "You're what they bought." "I got to deliver... can..." "I wanna tell you something." "My job is to deliver you." "Dan, Nike bought an idea." "It wasn't even mine!" "Every good idea they bought came... from her!" "If you don't get Darcy back, the board will pay you your settlement." "I mean, it's all about saving your ass, right?" "Save it." "All right..." "Get a hold of Darcy's home address and phone number as quick as possible." "Yeah, sure." "Where's the girl who carries the files?" "Erin?" "I don't think she's in today." "Ah... did she call in sick?" "I don't think so." "She didn't show up." "Hey." "Does anyone know where Erin lives?" "Who's Erin?" "...and then someone would ask, "Where's the geek who carries the files?"" "Hey." "Did you get a hold of Darcy?" "No?" "Well, then keep trying." "And when you do get hold of her, tell to stay put." "I'm coming right over, I just have to make a little stop on the way." "Do you know where this is?" "Down the alley?" "Just, down the alley?" "Yes." "Thanks." "Come on, Erin, be there." "Erin?" "Hello?" "Oh, no." "Mr. Marshall!" "Mr." "Marshall?" "Yes... yes... it's me." "I'm sorry." "I really did not mean to scare you, okay." "I just wanted to come and see how you are." "How are you?" "You're here because I didn't show up for work today." "I was just about to call." "No. no, I'm not here because you didn't show up for work." "But I'm here about... well..." "I bet you are wondering why I am here, huh?" "As a matter of fact, I was just thinking that." "I was thinking... why is Mr. Marshall here in my bedroom?" "You were?" "...thinking that just now?" "Yeah, in my head." "I must have water in my ears or something, I..." "But you're, you know, not thinking anything now are you?" "I'm thinking a million things." "Really?" "Because, you know, usually I can..." "I can... you are thinking something right this minute?" "Mr. Marshall, I'm thinking that you are crazier than I am." "I think..." "I know..." "It's gone." "I'm back." "I'm back." "Mr." "Marshall?" "Yeah?" "I'm sorry." "Is there something I can maybe do for you?" "No." "No." "Erin." "Actually I came here to do something for you." "For me?" "Yeah." "See, the truth is... the truth..." "Erin the truth is..." "I'm glad I got here before you did anything to hurt yourself." "What makes you think that I would do something to hurt myself?" "I just sensed it." "Really?" "You could sense that?" "That's not... that's not good." "Yeah." "The real reason I'm here is because... well, here's the thing, Erin." "The real reason I'm here is because... as you know, we have the Nike account and we have a job opening in our team." "Darcy McGuire and I, we're discussing on who could be great enough to fill that... void and your name popped." "I remembered that you applied for a job as copywriter." "I thought I'd come down here and see if you were still interested." "Didn't you try and meet with me a while back?" "Yeah, I tried, but you were unavailable and then out of town and then..." "Well, now I'm available and... as you can plainly see I'm in town so, I'm here to take ... that meeting if you're available." "I'm available." "I'm unbelievably available." "Hi, this is Darcy McGuire." "I'm not home so please leave a message." "I'll get back to you as soon as I can." "Darcy?" "Hi Darcy, it's Nick." "I'm standing right outside your place here." "I sure wish I could find you." "Get a hold of you." "Are you all right?" "Hope so." "So call me when you get this on my cell, triple five, one, two, two, six." "I really need to talk to you." "Ah, just, making sure you're not there." "You're not right?" "No, I didn't think so." "All right, so call me." "Please." "Bye." "Darcy?" "No it's me!" "Gigi?" "Is everything all right?" "Are you back?" "No!" "Not until... tomorrow." "Alex called me three times from a payphone really upset... and then we got disconnected." "What's the matter, isn't she at the prom?" "The prom." "Do you know where Alex Marshall is?" "Tenth grader?" "Brown hair?" "This high?" "Yeah, I saw her in the lady's room." "She's been there for like an hour." "Alex, you in here?" "Alex, it's me." "What are you doing here?" "Ah, honey..." "I just..." "I can't believe that I screwed up." "I wasn't there when you left for the prom." "Yeah, well... it's not why I'm in here, so you can just go, okay?" "Oh, boy." "I feel awful." "Are you okay?" "I mean... come on out and let me see how you look at least." "Come on." "I look like crap!" "I already took my hair out and everything." "So... what happened?" "Well, if I told you, you'd freak out, so..." "What do you got to lose?" "Try me." "Okay..." "Cameron and his friends... they had this big plan... and they rented this hotel room and... and it was like a suite... and basically I promised him that I was gonna..." "I can't believe I'm gonna say this to you." "I promised him that I was gonna... sleep with him after the prom." "And like, an hour ago, we were on the dance floor and I said..." "I'm sorry Cameron, you know, I'm just not ready." "Good." "Good, girl." "Dad, c'mon." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Go on." "And he goes... "Well the limo, the room and the tux cost me four hundred bucks."" "And I said, I'm sorry I'm just not..." "and then he cuts me off... and he says..." ""I never should have asked a stupid sophomore to the prom." "What a waste."" "Well, two seconds later... he meets up with his old girlfriend and starts making out with her." "This disgusting slut with a tongue ring." "And then they were laughing and..." "I just can't go out there ever." "Oh, honey." "I'm so proud of you." "Dad!" "What are you doing?" "Sorry." "I'm sorry, but I am." "And believe it or not, I know what it's like to be a woman." "It's not as easy as it looks." "But you stood up for yourself." "You know how ahead of the game you are?" "Anyway, a guy like that... he's not worth..." "...worth my time." "Yes, I know." "Well, it's true, he's not." "He's a game player and I hate that." "You are so much smarter than me." "And look at you." "That clown made out with a girl with a tongue ring over you?" "Honey... you look beautiful." "Thanks." "Take me home, dad." "What am I doing?" "She's not in the refrigerator." "I wonder if it's too late to go over there?" "Of course it's not too late." "It's never too late to do the right thing." "That's what I'll do." "I'll go over there and I'll... do the right thing." "Hello?" "It's me." "Well, I'm glad I found you." "Ah... can I come up?" "Darcy?" "I need to..." "You need to what?" "It's one o'clock." "I need to talk to you." "Okay." "Thanks." "So, you sleep here now?" "Thought I might as well give it a try..." "before I have to sell the place." "Sell it?" "You're not selling this place." "Can't afford to keep it, I don't have a job." "You ought to try returning some of your phone calls." "You got your job back." "Oh, do I?" "You're a real riot, you know that?" "It's true." "Dan told me so himself." "Why would he tell you that?" "I didn't do the job that he hired me to do." "Even I don't blame him for firing me." "Look, I'm... well come on in." "I don't have any chairs, but if you want to..." "What if I told you that you did everything that you were hired to do?" "But that someone was sabotaging you." "Picking your brain, swiping your ideas and... you never even knew what hit you." "How is that possible?" "Oh, trust me." "It's possible." "Well, who would do such an awful thing?" "I would." "I was a dope with a corner office and when you came with the job..." "I was supposed to have, I mean... it didn't matter to me... that you were better at it that me, or you earned it more than I did." "As far as I was concerned, it was mine." "I'd do anything I could to get it back." "And so, I took advantage of you in the worst possible way." "Have you ever done that?" "Taken the wrong road?" "No, of course you haven't." "You wouldn't do that." "It's just somebody like me does that." "The problem with that was, that while I was digging the whole under you..." "I found out all about you." "And the more I found out... the more you dazzled me." "I mean, shook my world, changed my life, dazzled me." "And guys like that ex-husband of yours, I mean, he made you feel that... the price that you pay just for being you is that you don't get to have love." "Isn't that what you're trying to say the other night?" "That you weren't complete." "That you weren't really a winner like that." "Everything about you, how smart you are... how good you are, everything just makes me what you even more." "Oh, boy." "Looks like I'm here at one being all heroic trying to rescue you... but the truth is I'm the one that needs to be rescued here." "Sure wish I could read your mind." "Well, I was thinking that um... if everything you're saying is true." "If I really have my job back... then I think you're fired." "Well, I never really thought about it from that angle." "Well, not that I don't deserve it." "I..." "I do." "I'm stuttering." "Now I feel kind of embarrassed that I told you that I needed to be rescued." "That's fine." "That's it?" "I don't want that to be it." "I don't want that to be it at all." "Than don't let a little thing like me firing you stand in your way." "I didn't know what to react to first." "Hey, newsflash, I took the wrong road." "What kind of knight in shining armor would I be if the man I love... needs rescuing and I just let him walk out my door?" "My hero."