"Okay, so the moonwalk at 6:30." "I can't wait." "You are a naughty ned!" "Lisa rinna is so gorg on the today show." "You think?" "I am?" "Nobody's ever told me that before." "What is she doing here?" "Listen, I'll call ya later, sexy beast." "Mom!" " Kimmy, what." " Well... i'm getting a divorce." "It's over." " O-V-U-R." " A divorce?" "That's right." "Kim, you can't get a divorce." "You just got married." "Craig wants me to dothings." "Sexual things?" " Unusual things?" " I need a nap." "Kim." "You're making a big whoo-hoo out of nothing." "Now, don't be stupid." "Is britney spears stupid?" "Is Melanie Griffinith stupid?" "Because they all left bad marriages." " Can you get my bags?" " I am not carrying up your bags," " young lady." " I'm moving back in." "You can't just move back in." "Yes." " That." "Boy, you are strong!" " Mom!" "What did you do to my room?" "You turned it into a freaking curves!" "That zebra rug is so nice." "I know, they had a half off sale at Z gallerie." " It's different, isn't it?" " Yeah, it's cute." "God, I can't believe it." "This is a nightmare!" "Where are all my care bears?" "Take your shoes off in there." "If you took teddy feather to the salvation army, i'm gonna freak out!" "You never give anything a chance, Kim." "You did that with high school" " and your job at the car wash." " Will you forget about that job?" "My life is crap." "I need cookies." "Look, Kim, i know you're upset, but we need to be levelheaded about this." "No, no, no." "The pecan sandies are for company." "No." "What did you think marriage was gonna be?" "Flying off on your private jet to have cocktails with the Prince of Del Monaco?" "I didn't sign up for cooking dinner or being interested in how anyone's day was." "I'm a trophy wife." "Like Melania Trump and Mrs. Larry King live." "You know, I read that Larry and Shawn are having troubles." "That's terrible." "So sad." "These Hollywood marriages, I tell ya." "= 101 =- "Love"" "Sub VO : ¤AkaZab¤" "* You're walking down the street * * and a man tries to get your business *" "* 'cause you're filthy * * and gorgeous. *" "[Subs-Addicts] [Sub-way.fr]" "Cake cutting time!" "Look at her." "She's got everything." "She should be the happiest girl in the world." "Oh, my god!" "Are you serious, you Jerk?" "!" "Maybe it's my fault." "Maybe I shouldn't have drank all that diet soda filled with aspartame when I was pregnant." "Me and mom have always been together." "She must have been so lost without me." "If I didn't come home, she probably would have died." "I can't tell her i'm madly in love." "That would be insensitive." "I have a boyfriend." "What?" " I have a boyfriend!" " That is why you bought all those new" " sweaters!" " Guilty!" "The purple one with the panther is perfect." "That perfection." "I know!" "It's like they threw a panther in the air." " And caught it in embroidery." " Wait." "Who is this loser?" "His name is Phil Knight, and he is my knight in shining armor." "Do you remember that movie the Bodyguard when Whitney Houston first meets Kevin Costner?" " He's black?" " No, he's he's" " irish and welsh." " I can't believe you didn't tell me." "Well, I didn't tell you because I know how protective you can be." "Yeah, well, somebody has to be." "You're like a loser magnet." "I am not a loser magnet!" "Really?" "How about the guy who lived in the ice cream truck?" "Or the fat guy you gave all our money to?" "And what about the guy who closed his eyes when he talked?" ""Is your mom home?"" "Yeah, he was very creepy." "Yeah." "You're sad." "That may be, Kim, but I've turned a corner in my life, and his name is Phil." "So you better just hop on the train, because Phil is taking me to dinner tonight, and I'm pretty sure e's going to propose!" "Propose?" " Look who it is!" " Hey, Kath." "Okay, you are being a brat." "Jeez, that doggone cat is back." "She's gonna ruin my Rose Bush!" "Everything is falling apart!" "You better get home right now, Kim, 'cause guess what?" "I'm putting my foot down, okay?" "So let's go." "Please?" "Come on, please?" "Please?" "I am begging you, baby." "Come on, please." "Kim, all I said was is that maybe you could microwave dinner once in a while, okay?" "We can't go to applebee's every single night, Kim." "We are not billionaires." "Darn cat!" "Kimmy, Kimmy, just come home, baby." "Come home to Craigy." "Kim." "Kim." "Come on!" "Are you serious?" "Seriously, dude, I am totally losing it." "Can you just leave?" "Okay." "All right." "Peace out." "But check this, okay?" "If I take one step out this door, you'll never see me again." "Yeah, I Will." "It's a glass door." "Why you gotta be such a brainiac all the time?" "Maybe I should have thought this whole marriage thing through." "The wedding was fun." " Dude, back up." " But now I have to do stuff?" "Come here!" "I love you, Kim!" "Can you see that?" "I'm proud of where I am in my life." "Yes, I'm high-maintenance, but you have to be." "I cleanse and tone, but it's paid off." "You did?" "Phil has come into my life, and it's going beautiful at the moment." "I'm not gonna let Kim." "What the bedazzle is she doing now?" "What are you doing with my mini-stepper?" " I can't sleep on a mini-stepper, mom." " Put it back." " Put it back!" " Your arms look great in that top mom." "Do they?" "Do you like the dream catcher earrings?" "Yeah, I think lindsay had something like that on when she left rehab." " He's here." "Be nice." " I'm always nice." "Yes!" "Come in if you're sexy!" "Hey, there, hot stuff!" "Save that for later, sexy beast." "Phil, I'd like you to meet Kim." "It's a pleasure to meet the lovely daughter of the lady who rocks my world." "Okay." "Okay." "Well, while you two are getting acquainted, i'm gonna go grab my clutch." " Yes, I am." " No, you're not." "I am!" "I'll be right back!" "You know, Kimmy, your mother has told me so much..." "You know, Kim, next time you're down at the mall, come on down to Phil's sandwich Island." "Pretty much anything you want's on the Hizzy." "Well..." "I'm ready to go." " So we're all set." " Yeah." "I'm taking your mother out for a special dinner." "Phil's taking me out for Chinese food." "Not that special for, like, 8 billion Chinese people." "You are too much." "Listen, I may be home late." "What do you say?" "Let's hit it." "Let's hit it." "Listen, why don't you go out to the car first?" "I'm just gonna say bye to Kim." "I'll be right there." " Roger that." " Roger that!" "Do you want me to tell you where I hid the Pecan Sandies?" "I'll just..." "Sit here..." "With all my dreams in the trash." "Can I have some more Fried Wontons?" "Fried Wontons." "Boy, you know, when I was big Phil, i liked my Fried Wontons." " Did you?" " And my pizza." " Yeah?" " And my pie." "Kim, did you know that Phil lost 200 pounds?" "Two years in august." "Do you have any pictures of you as a load?" "Well, Kimmy, you know, actually, there is a picture of me as a, a load." "It's on the hall of fame wall down at the all you can eat Denny's on bristol road, and I am trying to get them to take it right back down." "And they won't do it." "But I shall live to fight another day on the beaches of France!" "Hey, could you..." "Send over some dumplings to that cute guy over there?" " What are you doing?" " I'm back on the market." " He's on a date, Kim." " So I'm married." "You know what?" "Now's as good a time as any." " Kath day..." " Yes." "I have something i'd like to propose to you." "They don't want dumplings." "Lady said she's gonna cut your throat if you look back at her again." "Did you hear that stupid cat wailing last night?" "Nope." "How'bout a cup a Joe for this tired soldier?" "Oh, my god, that wasn't a cat!" "That was you two!" "That's right, we had a night of passion, and I'm not gonna be ashamed of it." "I'm gonna throw up." "Well, maybe if you went back to Craig, you wouldn't have to throw up." "I'd better get dressed." "I gotta hit the Island." "Are we still on for sushi tonight?" "Sushi sounds good." "How bout my wife?" "You've got to pull yourself together, Craig." " Come on, sit up." " Can't fully sit up in this couch." "It's how it's designed." "You have got to get her to come back, Craig." "You've gotta get her to come back to you." "I am in a budding romance right now that she is putting under extreme Jeopardy." " You really do sink into this thing?" " I know." "It's awesome, right?" " Do you love her, Craig?" " Yeah!" "It's like I said in my vows..." "You know, I am so into Kim..." "It is unbelievable." "If you wanna save your marriage, Craig, you have to accept who she is." "It'll mean giving up everything." "I've done it for 27 years." "You can do it too." "You'll get used to it." "I thought marriage was about having a best friend and a companion to go through life with." "Well, then, you should have married a dog." "Well..." "Where have you been?" " I'm so sorry I was late." "I was..." " Never mind!" " Craig's texting me again." " Good!" " Delete." " That's good." "Kimberly." "You cannot just delete him from your life." "He's your husband." "I have to get an outfit for my new myspace picture." "I don't think it's appropriate for you to be dating when you're married." " I don't like it..." " Can we not talk about this... for like one second, please?" "I mean, we're at the mall." "I saw the cutest jumpsuit when I was coming in." "Gorg." "Zipper right down to your petunia." "You gotta see this." "Okay, but I have to eat first." "I heard the greek has a good wrap." "I can't eat another man's sandwich." "I'm with Phil now." "It's." "Please, spare me." "It's not even a sandwich." "It's a wrap!" " Hello." "What can I get for you?" " I'll have a tuna wrap." "Sure." "Here you go." " That looks good." " You know what?" "I'll have the same thing." "Here you go." "That'll be $10." "Phil!" "It's not what you think!" "Phil!" "I want you take my picture for my new Myspace page." "I wanna let people know i'm newly single." "Please leave me alone asap." "It's not my fault that Phil broke up with you because you cheated on him with a sandwich." "For the last time, I told you I am not talking about this with you." "I told you he was a loser." "He's not a loser, Kim." "He was a winner." "A winner!" "She's not that bad." "When she's really bad, she listens to cher full blast." "He is so not getting away with this." "I can't believe you broke up with my mom over a stupid sandwich!" "I mean, what kind of a loser are you?" "You have corn dogs?" "Now, hold on." "I didn't break up with your mother." "She said you needed her now, so we were gonna take some time off." "I love your mother, Kim." "She gets me." "Kim, I heard your ankle bracelet, and I followed it here." "I love you, dude." "I Miss you so much." "I can't do anything." "I can't even watch Tv." "It's 'cause I threw away the remote." "Kim, that's a universal remote." "It cost 200 bucks with my discount." "Why did you do that?" "No, okay, no." "I'm sorry." "I don't care about the remote." "Okay?" "I want you, Kimber." "I love you." "You're my universal remote." " I have to go." " No, no." "Kim!" "Can I make you a sandwich?" "I'll have the..." ""wham, bam, thank you, ham."" "You okay?" "I just wanna be alone." "I got you this at the mug stand." "Spoiled and worth it." "How do they think up these things?" "They're so clever!" "I know." "It's hilarious, right?" "Yeah." "Would it make you feel better if you got up and made us some nachos?" "Hello?" "Stop crying, Craig." "You're gonna throw up." "All right, i'll be right there." " He wants to talk to me about you." " Tell him that there's certain" " things I need." " You know what, Kim?" "You tell him." "You tell him, okay?" "You know what, you're gonna come with me right now, and we're gonna settle this once and for all come on!" "Can't I just wait for you in the food court or something?" "Kim, we are not." "Kim, we're not leaving here until you talk to Craig." "Okay, wait." "I'm just gonna look at these phones for a minute." "One minute, Kim." "I'm serious." "One minute." "Maybe Phil wasn't that great." "All those stretch marks, the extra skin." "Who am I kidding?" "He was a stallion!" "Will the lady in white with the foxy vest the disco flares put down the Bodyguard and come to the middle of the store." "Again, gorgeous female shopper named Kath Day, please come to the Tv / plasma Tv department." "This is god talking." "Just kidding." "It's Phil." " Kathleen." " Oh, my god!" "I have a very important question to pop to you." "Kathleen, I love you." "I love you too, Phil." "I'm coming, I'm coming!" "Here I come!" " Where are you?" " I see you, but I don't see you." "Mom over here!" "Past the mexican guy." " How did you do this?" " Craig helped me out." "Cute." " Kath Day..." " yes." "Will you turn day into knight?" "Will you marry me?" "Yes, Phil knight." "We got a yes, folks!" "These eggs are delicious, Phil." "You're delicious, Kath Day..." "Soon to be knight." "Okay, the day-knight thing is getting old." "Craig bought Kim that trophy wife T. She's giving him another chance." "Well, Craig's a lucky guy." "Okay, KIMMY, I want you to meet someone, and I think she's gonna make you a lot happier." "You ready?" "Ginger!" "Come here." "Come on!" "Good girl." "You know I hate dogs!" "You say you hate everything, Kim." "It's hard to know what you really hate." "Baby, I did this for us, okay?" "You're not gonna be my best friend, so I got ginger." "It was your mom's idea." "She was like, Craig, get a dog." "I did not say that." "Ginger, no, no no." "Don't go after that dog!" "It's me or her!" "The divorce is so back on!" "Cheese and rice!" "There goes my rose bush!" "Ginger, that is nasty." "Ginger, no!" "Craig's not the brightest bulb in the salon." "Phil's not exactly a Rocket surgeon." "He's very smart." "He's a business owner." " He makes sandwiches." " He's gonna be your stepfather." " He can hear you." " He can hear you!" " Zip it." "That is enough!" " Zip it!" ""The stars came out last night in Hollywood to stop global warming."" "So brave." "Why do they do that?" "I love being warm." "Kimmy for one, the polar bears are burning up." "Well, they should go somewhere cold." "You know, I do have to admit, though, with my busy schedule, getting a savage tan in five minutes is convenient." " Right?" "To global warming." " Global warming." "Team"