"Jerry:♪ LASTKINGCHRISTMAS" "LAST ARRIVED ♪" "♪ ON THE CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS ♪" "[ SNIFFS ]" "MMM." "JERRY, YOU ARE REALLY GIVING IT" "TO THIS HAM." "[ DEVICES BEEPING ]" "UM, MERRY CHRISTMAS." "HELLO?" "MY PARENTS ARE COMING OVER FOR" "THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS." "CAN WE STOW THE GADGETS AND LOOK" "ALIVE?" "Beth:" "ALIVE?" "FOR YOURPARENTS?" "Jerry:" "MM,GOODONE ." "Beth:" "HEY,MAN!" "Jerry:" "YOU"HEY,MAN!"" "THIS HOLIDAY IS ABOUT HUMANITY." "Morty:" "YOUKNOW,ITHOUGHTIT" "WAS ABOUT BEING BORN HALF-GOD" "OR SOMETHING." "Jerry:" "WHATEVER." "ALL ELECTRONIC ITEMS ARE GOING" "IN THE STOCKING NOW." "Morty:[ GROANS]" "Summer:" "DAD,I'MNOT GIVING" "YOU MY PHONE." "Jerry:" "PUTIT IN THE" "STOCKING, SUMMER, OR I'M JOINING" "FACEBOOK." "Summer:[ GASPS]" "[ DOOR OPENS ]" "Rick:" "A-HO,HO ,HO ," "EVERYBODY." "Jerry:" "MORELIKE"WHOA,WHOA ," "WHOA."" "WHAT IS THIS?" "MY PARENTS ARE COMING!" "Rick:" "CALMDOWN,JERRY." "THIS IS REUBEN, AN OLD FRIEND." "PEARLHARBOR." "Rick:" "I CHECKIN ON HIMONCE" "A YEAR AND GIVE HIM A LITTLE" "[BURPS] MEDICAL [BURPS]" "EVALUATION." "Beth:" "AWW!" "DAD, THAT IS SO SWEET!" "Jerry:" "YEAH,IT IS ." "I DON'T GET IT." "KOREA." "Rick:" "DON'TWORRYABOUTYOUR" "[BURPS] C-CHRISTMAS, JERRY." "[BURPS] I'LL BE WITH REUBEN IN" "MY WORKSHOP WHILE YOU GUYS ARE" "HAVING ANOTHER DAY IN" "PHIL COLLINS' PROVERBIAL" "PARADISE." "Jerry:" "HUH." "YOU THINK YOU KNOW A GUY." "[ DOORBELL RINGS ]" "OKAY, THERE'S MY PARENTS." "NOW, REMEMBER NO TV, NO" "PHONES, NO LAPTOPS." "WE ARE CONNECTING THIS" "CHRISTMAS, LIKE OLD-SCHOOL JEWS" "ON A SATURDAY." "HEY, HEY!" "MERRYCHRISTMAS,SON." "Jerry:" "UH,HI ." "CAN I HELP YOU?" "JERRY,THISIS JACOB." "DIDN'T YOU GET OUR TEXT MESSAGE?" "Together:" "NO!" "YOUMUSTBE JERRY." "THAT'S A FINE-LOOKING APRON." "WILLIAMS-SONOMA?" "Jerry:" "I WISH!" "[CHUCKLES]" "BUT THANK YOU." "SO, YOU'RE A..." "FRIEND OF THE" "FAMILY?" "UH,THEWAYWESEEIT,HE 'SA" "PART OF THE FAMILY." "Jerry:" "WOW." "AFTERYOURFATHER'SBRUSH" "WITH CANCER AND LOSING YOUR" "UNCLE, WE LOOKED AT LIFE AND" "WONDERED, HOW HAVE WE SPENT IT," "AND HOW DO WE SPEND THE REST OF" "IT?" "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO BE WHEN WE" "DIE A LIST OF FEARS AND" "QUESTIONS OR A COLLECTION OF" "REAL EXPERIENCES?" "Beth:" "HOLYCRAP." "JOYCE, THAT'S AMAZING." "THENJACOBCAMEINTOOUR" "LIVES, AND..." "WE'RE LEARNING TO" "LIVE AGAIN." "ALLTHREEOF US ." "[CHUCKLES]" "Jerry:" "COOL." "EGGNOG?" "NOWWEARETALKING!" "THIS MAN'S GOT THE APRON AND THE" "EGGNOG, HUH?" "[ LAUGHTER ]" "Rick:" "HI,JOYCE." "LEONARD." "HELLO, THERE." "MERRYCHRISTMAS,MAN." "Rick:" "MORTY,AMOMENTOFYOUR" "TIME?" "[GURGLING]" "Rick:" "HE'SIN BADSHAPE," "MORTY." "Morty:" "AW,GEEZ,RICK." "WHAT'D YOU DO?" "Rick:" "GEE,THANKS,MORTY." "W-W-WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DO YOU" "THINK I AM?" "I-I-I'M SITTING HERE TRYING TO" "SAVE THE GUY'S LIFE." "I NEED YOUR HELP." "I WANT YOU TO FIND" "DR. XENON BLOOM." "HE'LL KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON." "Morty:" "UH,W-W-W-WHERE" "WHERE DO I FIND DR. BLOOM?" "Rick:" "INREUBEN." "Morty:" "REUBEN,MINNE" "MINNESOTA?" "Rick:" "REUBENON THETABLE," "MORTY." "LOOK, I-I-I [BELCHES] I DON'T" "HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR" "LITTLE WALNUT AROUND EVERYTHING." "JUST HOLD YOUR BREATH UNTIL THE" "PROCESS IS OVER OR YOUR LUNGS" "WILL COLLAPSE." "Morty:" "WHATPROC" "[ SCREAMS ]" "Rick:[ GRUNTS]" "Beth:" "HEY,DAD,WHERE'S" "MORTY?" "Rick:" "HE'SBUSY." "Morty:[ SCREAMING]" "[ PANTING ]" "Rick:" "MORTY,CANYOU HEARME?" "HEAD NORTH." "Morty:" "RICK,WHEREAMI ?" "Rick:" "DEPENDINGON MY AIM," "YOU SHOULD BE JUST SOUTH OF THE" "ENTRANCE." "Morty:" "ENTRANCETO WHAT?" "Rick:" "WELCOME,MORTY." "WELCOME..." "Morty:[ GASPS]" "Rick:..." "TOANATOMYPARK!" "IT'S A LITTLE BUSINESS VENTURE" "I'VE BEEN COOKING UP ON THE SIDE" "WITH DR. BLOOM AN AMUSEMENT" "PARK INSIDE A HUMAN BODY." "SCIENCE ISN'T CH [BURPS]" "CHEAP, MORTY." "THIS SHOULD REALLY HELP PUT A" "DENT IN THE OVERHEAD." "Morty:" "OH,MY GOD!" "THIS IS INSANE!" "SPLEEN MOUNTAIN?" "BLADDER FALLS?" "PIRATES OF THE PANCREAS?" "Rick:" "YOUGOTAPROBLEMWITH" "THAT LAST ONE, MORTY?" "Morty:" "HUH?" "NO ,NO ." "I'M JUST READING'EM OUT LOUD IN" "THE ORDER THAT I'M SEEING'EM." "Rick:" "OKAY." "ALLRIGHT." "IF I SOUNDED A LITTLE DEFENSIVE," "IT'S BECAUSE" "PIRATES OF THE PANCREAS WAS MY" "BABY." "YOU KNOW, I GOT I GOT A LOT" "OF PUSHBACK WHEN I PITCHED IT," "MORTY." "I GUESS I'M STILL A LITTLE" "DEFENSIVE." "LET'S JUST FIND DR. BLOOM," "ALL RIGHT?" "I-I'M PICKING UP A DISTRESS" "SIGNAL IN THE LIVER, MORTY." "PROCEED TO THE LIVER." "ARRIVINGAT..." "[ BELL DINGS ] ... LIVER." "Morty:" "OW!" "MINDTHEGAP." "Morty:" "IT'SREALLYSCARYIN" "HERE, RICK." "Rick:" "THELIVER'SUNDER" "MAINTENANCE." "REUBEN'S SEEN SOME ROUGH YEARS," "MORTY." "DON'T JUDGE." "YOU DON'T AGREE TO HAVE A THEME" "PARK BUILT INSIDE YOU IF YOUR" "LIFE'S GOING GREAT." "[ROARS]" "Morty:[ SCREAMS]" "RICK!" "IT'S A MONSTER!" "Rick:" "NO,NO ,NO ." "MORTY." "THE ONLY MONSTER HERE IS" "ALCO...[BELCHES]..." "HOLISM." "THAT IS AN ANIMATRONIC WEREWOLF." "[GRUNTS]" "WHO ARE YOU?" "!" "ANSWER ME!" "WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?" "Morty:" "MYMY MY GRANDPA" "RICK SENT ME!" "PONCHO!" "THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH." "MORTY, THAT'S PONCHO." "THIS IS ROGER AND ANNIE." "Morty:[ GASPS]" "ANDI AMDR.XENONBLOOM." "Morty:[ GASPS]" "Rick:" "HEY,BLOOM,IT'SRICK ." "WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?" "IDON'TKNOWWHY ,BUT THE" "ENTIRE SECURITY SYSTEM HAS SHUT" "DOWN, AND I'M AFRAID..." "THE" "EXHIBITS ARE UNLOCKED." "Morty:" "EXHIBITS?" "ANATOMYPARK'SGREATEST" "ATTRACTION, YOUNG MAN, ISN'T THE" "MUSIC OR THE FOOD OR THE..." "PIRATES OF THE PANCREAS." "Rick:" "WATCHIT ." "ITIS,FIRSTAND FOREMOST,A" "LIVING MUSEUM OF HUMANITY'S MOST" "NOBLE AND FEROCIOUS DISEASES." "Morty:" "DISEASES?" "[ CREATURE ROARS ]" "HEY,DOC." "I GOT NEWS FOR YOU." "YOUR LIVING MUSEUM IS OFFICIALLY" "A WILD SAFARI!" "HEPATITISA !" "RUN!" "[ ALL SCREAM ]" "OH,THEFOODGOESINYOUR" "MOUTH, GIRL." "[ LAUGHTER ]" "[Laughing]OH, JACOB." "Jerry:[ LAUGHS]" "I-I'M SORRY, JACOB." "I-I GUESS I'M STILL CONFUSED" "ABOUT THE PRECISE NATURE AND" "ORIGIN OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH" "MY PARENTS." "ARE YOU, LIKE, UH ARE YOU," "LIKE, THEIR CARETAKER?" "IS THAT WHAT IT IS?" "WECANGO INTODETAILLATER," "SON." "NOW,WAIT." "TH-THERE'S NO POINT TO SECRECY." "LET'S ALL LIVE AND DIE HONESTLY." "YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE SHARED 40 YEARS OF EACH OTHER, MIND," "BODY, AND SOUL, AND WHEN MINDS" "AND SOULS ARE JOINED FOR" "ETERNITY AND WHEN ETERNITY IS" "AT THE DOOR, IT'S AN INVITATION" "TO LET GO OF THE BODY AND AN" "OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE AND" "EXPERIMENT." "Jerry:" "DAD,PLEASE." "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?" "Beth:" "WHATEVERIT IS ,IT 'S" "BEAUTIFUL, LEONARD, AND WE" "SUPPORT YOU." "Jerry:" "HEY,SPEAKFOR" "YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT [LAUGHS" "NERVOUSLY] SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE" "ABOUT TO SAY JACOB IS YOUR" "LOVER." "NO,NO,NO ,NO ,NO ,NO ." "JACOB IS YOUR MOTHER'S LOVER." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "I WATCH THEM SOMETIMES FROM A" "CHAIR AND SOMETIMES FROM A" "CLOSET, ALMOST ALWAYS DRESSED AS" "SUPERMAN." "[SMOOCHES]" "OH." "JERRY, THIS HAM HAS GOT TO BE" "ALL YOU, RIGHT?" "IT'S INCREDIBLE." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "Summer:" "HAPPYHUMANHOLIDAY," "DAD." "AAH!" "[ROARS]" "HEPATITISWON'TFOLLOWUS" "INTO THE RESPIRATORY SYSTEM." "THAT'SSTRANGE." "AIRFLOW IS DOWN 20%." "SO,THEBRAINISN 'TGETTING" "ENOUGH OXYGEN." "THAT'SWHY SECURITY'S OFFLINE." "Morty:" "WELL,IGUESSWE" "BETTER CHECK IT OUT." "HEY!" "WAITFORME!" "PUTTHATBACKON!" "IFWEGOTUPTOTHEBRONCHIAL" "CATWALK, WE COULD LOOK FOR A" "BLOCKAGE." "Morty:" "I 'LLGO." "[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]" "DON'TBEAHERO,KID." "Morty:" "I 'MNOT." "I'M DOING IT BECAUSE IT'S FUN." "WESHOULDN'TBE HERE." "WHATEVERYOUDO ,DO NOTFIRE" "THAT THING IN HERE." "WE MUST SAVE REUBEN." "THIS IS MY LIFE'S WORK." "[ BLOB SQUEALS ]" "[GASPS]" "IT'SALLRIGHT,MYDEAR ." "NEARLY ALL HUMAN LUNGS CONTAIN A" "STRAIN OF THESE BACTERIA, BUT" "THE SCAR TISSUE KEEPS THEM..." "DORMANT." "MORTY, GET DOWN!" "Morty:" "WHOA-HO-HO!" "WHOA!" "[ BACTERIA SNARL ]" "Morty:" "WHOA,WHOA,WHOA!" "[ GRUNTING ]" "OH, WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?" "TUBERCULOSISCOMINGIN" "FAST!" "NOTFASTERTHANABULLET!" "AAH!" "NO!" "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" "!" "[COUGHS]" "All:" "WHOA!" "GETTOTHEDIGESTIVETRACT!" "HE'S COUGHING!" "[COUGHS]" "WHOAAAA!" "DON'T LET ME DIE!" "Rick:" "JUSTTAKEADEEP" "BREATH, REUBEN." "[GASPS]" "Morty:" "YOU'RENOTGONNADIE!" "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" "MYNAMEIS ..." "[COUGHS]" "ALEXAND[ SCREAMS]" "[COUGHS]" "[ ALL GRUNT ]" "Morty:" "RICKR-R-REUBEN'S" "GOT TUBERCULOSIS!" "Rick:" "OH,GREATWORK,MORTY." "OKAY, I'LL JUST CURE IT AND" "THEN" "[ FLATLINE ]" "OKAY." "WELL, I CAN'T CURE DEATH." "THIS IS BAD, MORTY." "YOU'RE TRAPPED IN A DEAD MAN." "LISTEN, IF THE SITUATION KEEPS" "DARKENING, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR" "AND POP BY" "PIRATES OF THE PANCREAS." "OBVIOUSLY I'M BIASED, BUT I" "THINK IT'S GREAT, MORTY." "IT'S A BUNCH OF [BELCHES]" "PIRATES RUNNING AROUND A" "[BELCHES] PANCREAS." "WE DON'T WHITEWASH IT, EITHER," "MORTY." "I MEAN, THE PIRATES ARE REALLY" "RAPEY." "THE TOP PRIORITY IS TO GET, YOU" "KNOW, YOU GUYS OUT OF THERE, BUT" "I'M JUST SAYING, IF THAT BECOMES" "IMPOSSIBLE, PLEASE, YOU GOTTA" "TREAT YOURSELF." "Morty:" "OH,MAN." "W-W-W-WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE" "SMELL?" "YOUMEANTHEPANDAEXPRESS?" "[ CHUCKLES ]" "KIDDING." "I-I'M KIDDING." "THE BODY IS BEGINNING TO" "CONSTRICT AND FILL WITH GAS." "WE'RE INSIDE A CORPSE, MY BOY." "ANATOMY PARK IS DOOMED." "Morty:" "FORGETABOUTTHE" "PARK, DOCTOR!" "HOW DO WE GET OUT?" "THEDIGESTIVETRACTISTHE" "EVACUATION ROUTE." "GET IT?" "THERE'S AN EMERGENCY STATION IN" "THE COLON WITH A RAY THAT CAN" "ENLARGE US ALL." "Morty:" "EVERYBODY,HEADFOR" "THE COLON!" "NOWI 'MTAKINGORDERSFROMA 12-YEAR-OLD BOY?" "MORTY,THESCARSACS" "CONTAINING THE TUBERCULOSIS WERE" "SABOTAGED." "THIS DISASTER WAS AN INSIDE JOB." "KEEP YOUR EYE ON ANNIE." "SHE WAS WRITTEN UP SEVERAL TIMES" "BY HER MANAGER AT THE CHURRO" "STAND." "INTESTINESAREAHEADTOTHE" "LEFT, THEN TO THE RIGHT, THEN" "LEFT, ET CETERA." "Morty:" "HEY,JUSTSOYOUKNOW," "I-I-I'M ACTUALLY 14." "SO, YOU KNOW..." "WHAT?" "Morty:" "NOT12 ." "OKAY." "Morty:" "YOUKNOW,BECAUSEHE" "JUST SAID I WAS 12." "OH." "GOOD FOR YOU." "Rick:" "OOF." "UGH." "MORTY." "STRIKE ONE." "Morty:[ GROANS]" "[ FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS ]" "♪IT'SAROADOFWONDER♪" "♪ A TRAIL OF FOOD ♪" "♪ IT'S A PATHWAY TO BREAK UP" "THE BAD AND GOOD ♪" "♪ IT'S A TUBE THAT DIGESTS" "AND THEN SENDS OUT THE REST ♪" "♪ IT'S A SMALL, SMALL" "INTESTINE ♪" "ITGOESON LIKETHISFOR" "MILES." "THENWEGETTOTHELARGE" "INTESTINE!" "[ CREATURE ROARS ]" "SHH!" "I HEAR SOMETHING." "[ROARS]" "Don'tmove." "Gonorrhea can't see us if we don't move." "[ROARS]" "WAIT,I WASWRONG." "I WAS THINKING OF A T. REX." "[ ALL SCREAM ]" "MOVE!" "WE'RESITTINGDUCKS!" "Morty:" "DOC,DIDN'TYOU SAY" "THAT THE BODY WAS FILLING WITH" "GAS?" "YES." "WHY?" "KID,YOU'REAGENIUS." "AREYOUMAD?" "!" "Morty:" "EVERYBODY,IN HERE!" "[ROARS]" "HEY,GONORRHEA!" "HOW'S THISFOR A BURNING" "SENSATION?" "[GROANS]" "HUH." "Morty:[ GIGGLES]" "Summer:♪ DRUMMERDRUMDRUM" "DRUM DRUM DRUM ♪" "♪ DRUM DRUM DRUM DRUM DRUM" "DRUM ♪" "♪ CHRISTMAS DRUMS ♪" "OH,SINGIT ,SUMMER." "Summer:♪ CHRISTMASDRUMS" "BEING PLAYED BY A BO-O-O-Y ♪" "OH,I LOVETO HEARYOU SING." "[ LAUGHS ]" "Summer:[ SCATTING]" "Beth:" "JERRY,COMEON." "THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED." "Jerry:" "I GETIT ,BETH." "BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR." "I'M BEING PUNISHED FOR TAKING" "YOUR iPAD." "Beth:" "WHAT?" "JERRY, LET THAT STUFF GO, OKAY?" "I'M SORRY I WAS A BITCH EARLIER." "LET'S JUST BE HERE." "[GRUNTS]SUMMER!" "Summer:" "ETHAN?" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" "I'VEBEENTEXTINGYOU FOR" "HOURS!" "WHAT THE HELL?" "!" "Summer:" "I DON'THAVEMY" "PHONE!" "I'M DOING A HUMAN HOLIDAY!" "WELL,DIDYOUEVENCONSIDER" "HOW THAT MIGHT MAKE MEFEEL?" "!" "Summer:" "HOWYOUFEEL?" "!" "WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS" "HAPPENING TO YOU?" "!" "Jerry:" "SUMMER,DO YOUHAVEA" "BOYFRIEND?" "YEAH,DOYOU,SUMMER?" "Summer:" "I DON'TKNOW,ETHAN." "DO I?" "!" "JERRY,NODISRESPECT,BUT YOU" "REALLY NEED TO CONNECT MORE WITH" "YOUR FAMILY, MAN." "ISHOULDBE ABLETOACCESS" "THE BACKUP GENERATOR TO GET THE" "GROWTH RAY ONLINE." "IF IT WORKS, WE'LL BE" "REGULAR-SIZED IN A FEW MINUTES." "I JUST HOPE REUBEN'S NOT IN A" "ROOM WITH WHITE CARPETS OR" "UPHOLSTERY." "[ RUMBLING ]" "WHATTHEHELLISTHAT ?" "THESPHINCTERDAM." "WE BUILT IT WHEN REUBEN BECAME" "INCONTINENT, BUT IT WAS NOT" "DESIGNED TO HOLD A CORPSE LOAD." "I'VEALMOSTGOTIT." "EVERYBODY, MOVE INSIDE THE" "CIRCLE." "[ BACTERIUM SQUEALS ]" "Morty:" "PONCHO?" "WHAT IS THIS IN YOUR BACKPACK?" "THAT'SBUBONICPLAGUE!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT," "PONCHO?" "[GASPS]" "EVERYBODY,GETBACK!" "PONCHO,YOUSONOFA BITCH!" "YOU RELEASED THE TUBERCULOSIS" "SO YOU COULD STEAL FROM ME?" "THAT'SRIGHT,BABY." "A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD PAY TOP" "DOLLAR TO DECIMATE THE" "POPULATION." "I'LL TAKE THE HIGHEST BIDDER" "AL-QAEDA, NORTH KOREA," "REPUBLICANS, SHRINERS, BALDING" "MEN THAT WORK OUT, PEOPLE ON THE" "INTERNET THAT ARE ONLY TURNED ON" "BY CARTOONS OF JAPANESE" "TEENAGERS ANYTHING IS BETTER" "THAN WORKING FOR YOU, YOU" "POMPOUS, NEGLIGENT, iTUNES-GIFT-CARD-AS-A-HOLIDAY" "BONUS-GIVING MOTHER" "Morty:[ SCREAMS]" "[GRUNTS]" "COME ON!" "Morty:[ GROANS]" "[LAUGHS]" "[ BACTERIUM SQUEALS ]" "AAH!" "[ GRUNTS ] GET OFF!" "[ SCREAMS ]" "[ RUMBLING ]" "YOUGUYS!" "IT'SGONNABURST!" "GO!" "GO, GO, GO!" "[ ALL PANTING ]" "MY FOOT IS STUCK." "NO!" "IT'SOKAY!" "IT'S OKAY." "JUST GO." "TELL MY FAMILY I LOVE THEM." "THEY MAY BE HARD TO FIND'CAUSE" "MY WIFE KEPT HER LAST NAME AND" "SHE MADE THE KIDS TAKE IT, TOO," "SO, I-I DON'T KNOW, YOU CAN" "NO!" "[ SOBS ]" "LETMEASKYOU AQUESTION," "ETHAN." "WHERE'S THE ANGER COMING FROM," "MAN?" "FROMSUMMERBEINGATOTAL" "BITCH!" "WHERE'STHEANGERCOMING" "FROM?" "MYBROTHER..." "TOOKMEFISHING" "ONCE..." "IN THE BUSHES..." "[ WHIMPERS ]" "[ Voice breaking ] I CAN'T..." "I" "CAN'T..." "[ SOBS ]" "HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE A GIRL!" "I HE MADE ME A GIRL!" "[ SOBS ]" "HEDIDN'TMAKEYOU ANYTHING," "MAN." "YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE." "SHE IS WHO SHE IS." "NOW, YOU GO TO HER..." "BRAND-NEW." "COMEHERE,RIGHTNOW ." "Summer:" "OH,MY GOD." "I'M SO SORRY, ETHAN!" "I LOVE YOU!" "ILOVEYOUSOMUCH ." "[ BOTH MOANING ]" "Jerry:" "UM..." "YOUDIDIT AGAIN,CUBBIE." "COME HERE." "[ BOTH MOANING ]" "Jerry:" "NO!" "STOP!" "IHATE THIS !" "WELL,CHRISTMASDOESN'T" "REVOLVE AROUND WHAT YOU HATE," "SON." "Jerry:" "WELL,THENIHATE" "CHRISTMAS!" "ENJOY BEING HUMAN!" "YOU GUYS ARE GROSS AND LAME." "MYNAME'SREUBENRIDLEY." "YOU'RE INSIDE ME RIGHT NOW, BUT" "BY THE END OF THIS JOURNEY..." "WHOOPSIE." "I'LLBEINSIDEALL OFYOU." "MY STORY BEGINS DURING THE" "DOT-COM CRASH IN THE EARLY '90s." "[ WHIRRING ]" "YOUCANPUTYOURFINGERS" "WHEREVER YOU WANT." "Rick:" "MORTY,YOUWANTTOPUT" "IT ON MUTE OR SOMETHING?" "I'M I'M TRYING TO" "CONCENTRATE." "Jerry:" "UH..." "RICK?" "Rick:" "NOTNOW,JERRY." "I'VE GOT [BELCHES] MUCH, MUCH" "SMALLER FISH TO FRY." "Jerry:" "I WANTEDTO SAYI'M" "SORRY I EVER JUDGED YOU." "RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE MY SANEST" "RELATIVE." "Rick:" "RELATIVE." "R-RELATIVE SIZE!" "JERRY, HAND ME A SCALPEL AND A" "BUNDLE OF DYNAMITE." "MORTY, CAN YOU GET TO THE LEFT" "NIPPLE?" "Morty:" "AREYOUKIDDING?" "I'M HOPING I CAN GET TO BOTH OF" "'EM, RICK." "Rick:" "NO,MORTY,I'M TALKING" "ABOUT REUBEN'SLEFT NIPPLE." "[ RUMBLING ]" "Morty:[ GRUNTS]" "WE NEED TO GET TO THE LEFT" "NIPPLE!" "THEBODYIS DECAYING." "THE ARTERIAL TRANSIT SYSTEM IS" "USELESS." "WE CAN TRY THE SERVICE SHUTTLE." "IT'S CONNECTED TO THE SKELETAL" "SYSTEM." "THAT'S WHY WE CALL IT THE BONE" "TRAIN." "WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE THE" "BONE TRAIN, MISS?" "IFIT'LLGETUSOUTOFHERE." "HOWABOUTYOU,MORTY?" "WOULD YOULIKE TO RIDE THE BONE" "TRAIN?" "Morty:" "WHYAREYOU DOINGTHIS" "BIT?" "WE'RE GONNA DIE!" "LET'S GO!" "Jerry:" "WELL..." "ICAN SEE" "YOU'RE BUSY." "MERRY CHRISTMAS, RICK." "Rick:[ GROANS]" "THERE'SNOAUTOPILOT." "ONE OF US WILL HAVE TO STAY HERE" "AND OPERATE IT MANUALLY." "Morty:" "UH,WELL..." "NO,YOU'REYOU'RERIGHT." "I-IT WAS A DICK MOVE FOR ME TO" "EVEN PAUSE LIKE THAT." "THIS IS ALL MY FAULT." "YOU GO ON." "[ BACTERIA SCREECHING ]" "WHATTHEHELLISTHAT ?" "E.COLIOUTBREAK." "HURRY!" "Morty:[ SCREAMS]" "[GRUNTS]" "WAIT, THERE ISAN AUTOPILOT." "WAIT!" "IT'S OKAY!" "NEVER MIND!" "I WANTED TO SACRIFICE MYSELF" "ANYWAY!" "THEY'RE THEY'RE CHEWING" "THROUGH THE DOORS!" "Morty:[ SCREAMS]" "Morty:" "WE'REIN THEAREOLA," "RICK ALMOST TO THE NIPPLE," "BUT WE'RE ALSO IN A REALLY BAD" "SITUATION!" "Rick:" "I 'MALMOSTTHERE," "MORTY!" "REPORTSFROMALLOVERTHE" "COUNTRY HAVE BEEN COMING IN" "ABOUT WHAT APPEARS TO BE A" "GIANT, NAKED MAN OVER THE" "CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES." "WE NOW GO TO TOM RANDOLPH IN" "NEW YORK." "TOM?" "WELL,THEEYESAREN'T" "TWINKLING AND THE DIMPLES AREN'T" "MERRY, BUT I'M STANDING UNDER A" "NOSE LIKE A 70-MILE CHERRY." "THANKYOU,TOM." "LET'S GO NOW TO ERIC McMAHAN IN" "LOS ANGELES." "WE'VEGOTFEETHEREONTHE" "WEST COAST, BILL GIANT FEET," "EVEN RELATIVE TO THE GIANT MAN'S" "SIZE, AND YOU KNOWWHAT THEY SAY" "ABOUT THAT." "WELL,IFTHEOLD ADAGEIS" "TRUE, ONE CAN ONLY WONDER WHAT'S" "GOING DOWN IN THE" "ROCKY MOUNTAINS." "WHA?" "[ SCREAMS ]" "[ BACTERIA SCREECHING ]" "Morty:" "OHMY GOD,THE TRACK!" "IT'SHEPATITISA!" "Morty:" "AAAAH!" "[ SCREAMS ]" "[GASPS]" "THE NIPPLE HOLE." "Morty:" "IT'SBEAUTIFUL." "[ROARS]" "OH,NO!" "Morty:" "HOLYCRAP!" "WHOA!" "IT'SHEPATITISC!" "[GRUNTS]" "Morty:" "UM..." "WAITDID WE" "HAVE SOME SORT OF RELATIONSHIP" "WITH HIM?" "ITHINKTHEY'REJUSTLIKE" "THAT?" "I THINK THEY'RE JUST GOOD GUYS." "Morty:" "OH." "HUH." "Rick:" "WHERE'SDR.BLOOM?" "Morty:" "I 'MSORRY,RICK,BUT" "HE'S DEAD." "Rick:" "GODDAMNIT, MORTY." "I ASK YOU TO DO ONE THING!" "Beth:" "JERRYDOESN'TKNOWWHAT" "HE'S MISSING." "HE'LLCOMEAROUND,BETH." "CHRISTMAS IS A SPECIAL TIME." "IT HAS FUNNY WAYS OF BRINGING" "FAMILIES TOGETHER." "Beth:" "I DON'TKNOW,JACOB." "JERRY GOT AN INVITATION TO BE" "ALIVE TODAY, AND HE REJECTED IT." "I DON'T KNOW IF OUR MARRIAGE" "WILL..." "Summer:[ GASPS]" "IT'S RAINING BLOOD!" "OH,SHIT." "FINDJERRY." "OH,GOD." "Beth:" "JERRY!" "Jerry:" "IT'SALLRIGHT." "THE TV SAYS THERE'S NOTHING TO" "WORRY ABOUT." "THEGIANT,NAKEDSKY SANTA" "HAS EXPLODED." "BLOOD AND CHUNKS OF VISCERA ARE" "RAINING DOWN ON THE COUNTRY." "EVERYTHING SHOULD BE FINE." "[ ALL SIGH ]" "OH,YES." "Summer:" "DAD,CANIHAVE MY" "PHONE BACK?" "Jerry:" "A SURE,SWEETIE." "HERE." "EVERYBODY, TAKE A DEVICE." "IT'LL HELP YOU RELAX." "THISISNICE." "Jerry:" "YEAH." "LOOK, I GUESS WE REALLY LEARNED" "SOMETHING THIS CHRISTMAS, JACOB." "Summer:" "NO,WE DIDN'T,DAD ." "NO, WE DIDN'T." "Rick:" "TOOBADABOUT" "DR. BLOOM." "HE WAS A GENIUS THE ONLY MAN" "CAPABLE OF CREATING A NEW" "ANATOMY PARK." "ACTUALLY,I STUDIED" "DR. BLOOM'S WORK." "I-I-I-I BELIEVE I HAVE THE" "KNOWLEDGE NECESSARY TO CREATE AN" "ENTIRELY NEW, MUCH SAFER PARK." "Rick:" "WHATABOUT..." "PIRATES OF THE PANCREAS?" "ITHINKIT WASONE OFTHE" "MOST UNDERRATED ATTRACTIONS." "Rick:" "BOO-YAH!" "HOLD YOUR BREATH." "Morty:" "HEY,W-W-WHATTHE" "HELL, RICK?" "!" "WHAT THE HELL, MAN!" "I LIKED HER!" "I REALLY HAD SOMETHING GOING" "THERE, RICK!" "Rick:" "YEAH,SO IHEARD." "[BELCHES] YOU DODGED A BULLET," "MORTY TRUST ME." "Puffy vagina." "Morty:" "W-WHAT'SWRONGWITH" "THAT?" "THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A" "PROBLEM TO ME." "I DON'T KNOW." "Rick:" "COMEON ,LET'SGET" "SOME STUFFING." "I'M STARVING." "[ GADGETS BEEPING ]" "OH, UNBELIEVABLE." "WE GOT WE GOT A BUNCH OF" "ROBOT, COMPUTER PEOPLE, SITTING" "AROUND WITH THEIR FACES STUFFED" "INTO COMPUTER SCREENS." "DO YOU GUYS REALIZE THAT CHRIST" "WAS BORN TODAY?" "JESUS CHRIST, OUR SAVIOR, WAS" "BORN TODAY." "ARE ARE ARE YOU PEOPLE" "EVEN HUMAN?" "WHAT KIND OF CHRISTMAS IS THIS?" "HEY,RICK?" "RICK, CAN YOU HEAR ME?" "Rick:" "LOUDANDCLEAR,ANNIE." "GREAT." "WE'RE ALSO ON WITH ALEJANDRO," "OUR CHF IMAGINARIAN." "HEY,RICK." "NATALIEJACOBSAND" "CHRIS DESETER FROM MICROSCOPIC" "MARKETING, ZACK FROM ORGAN" "CONCEPTS, AND JAMIE FROM NEW" "MEDIA." "Rick:" "HEY,EVERYBODY." "HI,HOW'SIT GOING?" "HI,RICK." "SO,PIRATESOF THEPANCREAS." "Rick:" "YEAH." "TALKTOME." "HEY,RICK." "IT'S ALEJANDRO SPEAKING." "UM, SO, WE ASKED OURSELVES," "INTERNALLY WE ASKED OURSELVES" "OVER HERE, "OKAY, WHAT DOES A" "PANCREAS DO?"" "AND THE ANSWER WAS, "DOES IT" "MAKE PIRATES?"" "NO, IT MAKES INSULIN, YOU KNOW?" "SO, WE'RE STARTING WITH A NEW" "THOSEGUYSAREINSIDEME," "HUH?" "LIKE, BUILDING A PARK?" "Rick:" "THOSEGUYSARE INSIDE" "YOU BUILDING A PCE OF SHIT," "ETHAN!" "THEY'RE INSIDE YOU BUILDING A" "MONUMENT TO COMPROMISE!" "[BLEEP]'EM." "[BLEEP] THOSE PEOPLE." "[BLEEP] THIS WHOLE THING, ETHAN." "COOL." "AND WHO PAYS ME?"