"Good evening, ladies and..." "Please don't adjust your sets." "I think the picture tube needs little dusting." "What is your wish, oh, master?" "Who are you?" "I am Alfred, the genie of the lamp." "My name's Alfred, too." "Why is it, master, that when you can have any wish you desire, you prefer small talk?" "Any wish I desire?" "If you want me, rub the lamp." "How long have you been in that tube?" "Master, you have a mania for the unimportant." "I have been there for years." "No one ever dusts." "And who ever heard of a genie conjured up by a vacuum cleaner?" "And now, master, the wish." "And remember the words of Allah." ""Think big!"" "But what I want is priceless." "Nothing is too great." "Diamonds, rubies..." "This would be too much to ask." "Master, the wish, the wish." "Give me a commercial." "Give me a commercial." "She's still at it." "Two Scotch and water." "Oh, she ain't no ordinary person." "I've been watching her ever since she left Liverpool." "You don't mean to tell me you believe she can talk to spirits?" "But last night, as I was closing, she was sitting over there all by herself, nursing a frappé." "She hadn't even touched it." "So I goes over there and I says, "Mrs. Bowlby," I says," ""I hope you'll forgive me for presuming like this," ""but I was just wondering how much that ouija board of yours really knows."" ""Oh, sit down, young man," she says to me, and the next thing I know me fingertips is on the planchette with hers and her eyes looking into mine." "Before you can say what's what, me hand starts to move and the board spelled out C-H-l-L-D-R-E-Y." "Childrey?" "What's so uncommon about that?" "That's where I was born." "Oh." "Who is she, anyway?" "She's Mrs. James St. George Bernard Bowlby." "Her husband's something big in the Grand Oriental Bank in Hong Kong." "She's been in London, very sick." "But she's better now." "She told me so." "So she's joining him out there." "Now, what's a lady like that want to mope around with a ouija board for anyway?" "Blimey, I don't know." "You do not know my language?" "No." "I'm sorry." "Then you do not know what you have just spelled?" "Chungyung." "Chungyung?" "It means the middle road." "The principle by which thinking men order their conduct." "Chungyung is the driving force of my own life, the essence of my beliefs." "Mrs. Bowlby, you are possessed of most extraordinary powers." "We are here, aren't we?" "Yes, ma'am." "Hong Kong." "It's a long way from England, isn't it?" "Mr. Bowlby's been writing me about it." "I don't think he cares for it much." "But it seems so..." "So exciting." "Well, I must see about my things." "Laura, my dear, so sorry I'm late." "You look splendid, my dear." "Quite recovered, I must say." "Thank you." "Was the voyage too bad for you?" "No, Jim." "It wasn't bad." "Let me look at you." "Your clothes." "They're new, aren't they?" "Yes, well, the tailors here aren't too bad, you know." "Very cheap." "Well, I'll take your things." "Must hurry." "Hurry?" "Yes." "Actually, I should have been in Macao last night." "We've taken over another bank down there." "I've asked Thompson, my number two man, to see you through until I get back." "He's quite good on details, though not as late as usual." "How do you do?" "This place gets worse every day." "Mrs. Bowlby." "Mr. Thompson." "How do you do?" "What do you think of Hong Kong?" "It's very crowded." "Gets worse every day, I tell you." "Look here, I shall be back by tomorrow at noon." "See that Mrs. Bowlby gets settled, if you will, like a good fellow." "She'll need some cards engraved straightaway." "Cards?" "Calling cards." "It's the system here." "The newcomer calls first, rather than the other way around." "It's a curious and disturbing system, my dear, particularly, shy as you are." "But very necessary in this part of the country." "Silly, I know, but there's no escaping it, I fear." "Oh, she'll need a car and a chauffeur." "That seems an unnecessary expense." "There are always plenty of second-hand cars going from many sources." "A sedan, I think, because of the dust." "Nixon's Garage, do you suggest?" "Yes, he's a reliable enough fellow." "But I don't understand why I need a car." "Well, there's little else to do here in Hong Kong, Mrs. Bowlby, except drive around and look at the sights." "There's the Round-the-lsland Drive, Repulse Bay..." "You'll find it quite essential, my dear." "But you don't have one." "Well, with you away in London, I didn't get about as much as I should." "Anyway, it will be very handy for shopping." "Well..." "You'll be in good hands with Thompson here." "Jim!" "You will be back by tomorrow?" "Yes, of course." "Mrs. Bowlby." "Mrs. Bowlby." "Is everything all right?" "Yes." "Mr. Nixon." "Good afternoon." "Ah, Mr. Thompson." "Mrs. Bowlby, may I present Mr. Nixon?" "How do you do?" "My pleasure." "Mr. Bowlby suggested you might have a decent second-hand car, preferably a sedan." "Well, I think you're in luck." "We've several good ones on hand." "We have a number of sedans out back." "We just got this one less than a week ago." "It's beautiful, isn't it?" "Good suspension." "You'll want that on these roads, Mrs. Bowlby." "I do like it, but..." "Maybe I'd like it a little better if it were a lighter color." "A lighter color?" "For example, Mrs. Bowlby?" "Oh, I don't know." "Perhaps canary yellow." "That's peculiar you should say that." "This car, Mrs. Bowlby, that's exactly the color it was before we had it repainted." "Oh, you mean it was yellow?" "Yes." "Canary yellow." "But I'm dashed if any of it shows through." "Who was the owner?" "Well, I'm not quite sure." "We bought the car after the owners left." "But obviously they took good care of it." "What do you think, Mrs. Bowlby?" "It's very nice, if it isn't too expensive." "Good." "Then if you'll excuse us, we will go over here and make the arrangements." "Well, that's positively all the calling we shall do today." "Someone once said, "The worst thing that can happen to anyone is to be born a woman."" "He must have meant this business of paying calls." "Chang." "Missy?" "Do you understand a word of what I am saying?" "Oh, many, missy." "How many?" "Go." "Stop." "Here." "There." "Good." "Bad." "Home." "Bank." "Excellent." "Oh?" "Good." "Good." "Oh, it's lovely." "Really lovely." "It must be breathtaking at night with the lanterns on those funny little boats." "Where does this road take us?" "To hills, missy." "Jacques." "Jacques, you're so silly." "Chang?" "Did you hear anything?" "No, missy." "Chang, stop." "Jacques, chéri, must you go so soon?" "I found a lovely little house today where we can meet and nobody knows." "It has a charming garden with a willow tree and a pond." "There must be some kind of rock formation here." "The voices must carry from down below somewhere." "Funny, for a moment there I could have sworn there was someone here in the car with me." "A woman." "A woman terribly in love." "No..." "No, wonderfully in love." "I'm sorry, my dear." "I've been neglecting you." "It's been one crisis after another at the bank." "However, you'll have a change of pace tonight." "You'll enjoy the Adams' party." "Charming American couple." "He's one of our biggest depositors." "Knows everyone in Hong Kong." "I'm sorry I upset you, Jim, about the car." "Oh, I just felt it was too large for our needs, that's all." "Anyway, let's not say anymore about it, shall we?" "Jacques." "Jacques, mon chéri." "Remember, tonight at the Milner's, the fourth dance is ours, and the seventh, and the tenth." "Jim, did you hear it?" "Hear what?" "A sort of sound in the car." "Probably the springs." "Then you did hear something." "Frankly, no." "Then I leave you now." "Until tonight, chéri." "Is there a Milner family in Hong Kong?" "Yes, they own a boatyard." "Very social." "Why?" "Have you met them?" "Not exactly." "Whatever is the matter?" "Nothing." "Nothing at all." "Laura, you're not seeing things again, are you?" "It's nobody's fault but your parents'." "Anyone who would bring up a sensitive child with a superstitious old Irish nurse." "Bridget had nothing to do with it." "Look, Laura, your precious Bridget spent her time filling you up with old wives' tales, and personally, I blame her for all your troubles." "I have asked you never, never to speak about Bridget like that to me." "Such rubbish." "She told you all those ridiculous fairy stories." "Stop it!" "Sorry." "We're almost here." "Another day, another dollar, eh?" "Forgive me, Jim." "Forgive me, darling, I didn't mean to." "It's forgotten." "Now, about tonight." "Have Chang call for me at 6:00." "We're due at the Adams' by 8:00." "My husband envies you terribly, Mr. Adams." "He says you have the most incredible memory." "That you've never forgotten anything or anybody." "Well, I..." "It's a wonderful gift." "Not at all." "It's a matter of interest, really." "Interest in people and things, whatever." "Perhaps you could help me." "Oh, I should be delighted." "Do you recall ever seeing a yellow sedan in the streets or at any of the parties?" "A yellow sedan?" "No, I'm afraid I don't." "Oh, of course." "But come to think of it, I haven't noticed it around for a while." "They must have taken it with them." "Who did it belong to?" "The Count and Countess d'Ardennes." "They sailed back to France just last month." "The Count d'Ardennes." "Was his name Jacques?" "No, François." "A fine fellow." "Then you didn't know them?" "No, but I've heard a little about her." "I must confess I'm very curious." "Was she very beautiful?" "Lovely creature." "Enchanting, really." "Did anything happen to her?" "Anything tragic?" "It's odd that you should ask that." "Lately she'd been acting pretty despondent." "It didn't make sense to me." "Fine husband, plenty of money." "I suspect the East didn't suit her." "She insisted that François take her home." "Then she is still alive?" "Why, of course." "Oh, chéri, I do so love our house." "Oh, yes, I've taken care of the fishpond." "You know, where the edge is broken." "The repairman is coming tomorrow to put fresh mortar along the parapet." "Will you write an inscription in it while it's still damp?" "Oh, yes, that will be lovely, Jacques." "The words will harden with the mortar and last and last forever." "Who are you?" "I'm sorry, but I seem to be overhearing your conversation." "I feel like an eavesdropper." "But you mentioned some people who live here, the Milners." "You must also have lived in Hong Kong, did you?" "We go home now, Chang." "Yes, missy." "Please, don't cry." "Please." "Oh, Jacques, I cannot bear it." "I know I shall die." "Let's run away while there's still time." "Oh, what if they talk?" "Who cares as long as we have each other?" "Oh, Jacques, as long as I live, I will love you." "Countess, can you hear me?" "Countess." "Let me tell you something." "When I first heard you, I was..." "Well, I was embarrassed listening to such an intimate conversation." "But despite myself I kept on listening." "Now, I find, I suppose I envy you." "Yes, that's what it is." "Not bad envy, you understand." "But..." "My life with Jim..." "I've never known anything like..." "Jim never wanted and I never dared to say the things that you and Jacques have said to one another and felt." "I'm very proper, you see." "Quite conventional, really." "But I never thought of judging you for..." "You are married, you see, after all." "But I understand." "Oh, I do so understand." "That's what I'm trying to say." "Countess, please, Countess." "Goodbye, Jacques." "Goodbye." "Driver, Por Hua Shan Hut'ung." "Quickly!" "Chang, do you understand, "Por Hua Shan Hut'ung"?" "Street." "Small street." "We go." "Por Hua Shan Hut'ung." "Quickly!" "Yes, missy." "Wait here." "Excuse me, the lady of the house." "Is she in?" "The house is empty." "May I ask who lived here last?" "A lady?" "A French lady?" "And she's gone?" "She's gone." "I see." "Thank you." "Just as she said it was." "The table, the fishpond, the willow tree." "How silent it is." "And how sad." "It was a mistake for me to come here." "No, it was wrong." "I shouldn't have come." ""Sweetest love, I do not go For weariness of thee" ""They who one another keep Alive, ne'er parted be"" "Jim!" "Mrs. Bowlby?" "Missy, we're late." "We must hurry." "Pick up Mr. Bowlby." "Ouch, don't rub so hard." "Why don't you appear?" "I have two more wishes coming." "I think I know what you want." "And I don't care to be there to see." "Name your wish and it will be granted." "Naturally, I would get a fastidious genie." "Ladies and gentlemen, I present a rare and priceless gift." "A television commercial." "After which, I shall take my leave until next week." "I have already granted the little man his third wish, which was to leave you until next week." "Granting wishes is easier two at a time." "I save on overhead." "Now that you know how to summon me, we shall probably be seeing more of each other." "Well, don't just sit there." "Get the dust cloth."