"This is Yehudi Menuhin." "What?" "When I pat my stomach like this, this is Yehudi Menuhin." "" " Right." "And what is that?" "" " It's a signal." "We need a signal f or Yehudi Menuhin?" "You'r e gonna be amazed at how many times it's gonna come up." "Yeah, I think I will be." "" " I chose you f or my team, Casey." "" " Yes." "I picked you." "I picked you first." "Yeah, I appr eciate that." "" " Teamwork..." "and a brotherly thing." "" " Yes." "Hey, I won't let you down." "What's the signal?" "Patting your stomach." "What's the signal f or?" "" " Hmm." "Uh..." "" " Yehudi Menuhin." "Well, look, maybe if you made a little playbook or something like that " "I did make a playbook, okay, pal?" "I did." "Okay, okay, okay, okay." "Now, l-I could have picked Dave first." "You know that, right?" "Yeah, I know." "I won the coin toss." "I had first pick." "What, you'r e saying that Dave's better than I am?" "Did I say that?" "You said you could have picked him first." "To demonstrate my confidence in you is all, okay?" "l-I had won the coin toss, I had first pick, and I picked you." "Natalie picked Dave." "Yeah, who else?" "" " Who else is on her team?" "" " Yeah." "Uh, Dana, Elliot, and Will." "And we'r e who?" "Who ar e we?" "We'r e Chris, Kim, Isaac, me, and you." "" " Well, we got a shot." "" " We got a r eally good shot..." "And I've got total confidence in you." "Now, what's the signal f or Yehudi Menuhin?" "I extend my f or earm and grab my wrist like so." "No, that's off ensive holding." "Oh, that doesn't come up in this game?" "Oh!" "Natalie, I'll trade you Casey f or Dave, straight up." "Sorry, pal, but you lost the coin toss." "Hey, I thought you won the coin toss." "I didn't win it outright, Casey." "I came in second." "You'r e going down tonight, Dartmouth." "Good, she's talking trash now." "Elliot:" "Three minutes live." "" " Dana." "" " Yes?" "" " Outside a second?" "" " Yeah." "What's my drop-dead time on Milwaukee?" "22 past the hour." "Make sur e somebody knows that." "Thank you." "The Sports Report's 100 most influential people." "" " Is it out?" "" " It's on the stands Friday, but they'r e leaking it tomorrow." "" " Did they leak it tonight?" "" " Yep." "" " Ar e we on it?" "" " Casey's 92." "" " Wher e's Dan?" "" " He's not on it." "" " Dan's not on it?" "" " No." "Well, I wouldn't tell him till after the show." "Actually, I was gonna not tell him at all and have you do it." "" " Why?" "" " You make a lot mor e money than I do." "I'm paid that money to delegate." "Not gonna happen." "" " Natalie..." "" " My head's in the game, Dana." "" " Did you r eally win the coin toss?" "" " Yes." "And you picked me first?" "[ Sighs ] Of course I picked you first." "" " You picked Dave first." "" " Yes." "So the only r eason you picked me is that Natalie won the coin toss." "I'd have picked you anyway." "" " Oh, r eally?" "" " No." "You'd have picked Dave." "I need him on 19th-century Fr ench philosophers." "I need him on hip-hop." "Oh, like I don't know hip-hop?" "" " You'r e all set." "" " I know hip-hop, Alyson." "Dave:" "Roll VTR." "" " Okay." " Her e's new grid copy f or Dallas." "" " Thanks." "" " Good show." "" " Is ther e a game tonight?" "" " What?" "You guys ar e playing Celebrities tonight?" "You know, I think Natalie said something about that," " but I'm not quite sur e." "" " This sucks, you know that?" "" " Look, I'm sur e it's okay if you play." "" " Thanks." "" " Jer emy..." "" " Invite me, don't invite me, but this sucks." "This is her thing." "What do you want me to do?" "" " Yeah, yeah." "" " This is a new grid for Dallas?" "Yeah." "" " He's got a f air point." "" " Yes." "" " This is getting uncomf ortable." "" " Yes." "This is why I discourage f raternization in the office." "" " You discourage f raternization?" "" " I do." "Ar e you not counting the last year and a half with Dana?" "I am, as a matter of f act, not counting that." "" " Okay." "" " Did I go on a date with her?" "I'm very ex cited about this game tonight." "No, I did not go on a date with her." "Natalie's beaten me one too many times, and it's time to r eclaim my manhood." "" " It's payback night f or Dana as well." "" " We'r e gonna wipe 'em up, dude." "" " We'r e gonna do it with the f undamentals." "" " We got superior education." "" " We've got superior powers of communication." "" " Yes." "" " And between you and me..." "" " I know." "" " I wouldn't say this publicly..." " 'Cause that would be obnoxious..." "" " Of course, but just between us..." "" " We'r e much smarter than they ar e." "" " Yes." "" " When is it gonna dawn on the two of you that we can hear everything you'r e saying?" "All right." "We'r e gonna need to get back to the f undamentals." "Yeah." "Good evening." "From New York City," "I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell, and this is "Sports Night."" "We'r e starting in a f ew minutes." "Danny?" "Yes?" "'I like New York in June, how about you?" "'" "Wow." "What ar e we, uh, what ar e we doing now, Isaac?" "That song was written in 1940 f or a movie called "Babes on Broadway."" "Ask me another." "You'r e awar e that this game that we'r e playing is about f amous people and not song titles." "I understand that." "I'm just saying that I have a compr ehensive command of American musicals, and people don't know that about me." "" " And you want them to?" "" " I have a comprehensive command." "" " Ar e you up f or this game tonight?" "" " Danny..." "'Cause I'm trying to r eclaim my manhood." "" " Name a song." "" " I was gonna go change." "" " A song f rom a musical -- name a damn song." "" " I was gonna go change." ""How Ar e Things in Glocca Morra?"" "That's gonna bug the crap out of me." "We'r e starting in a f ew minutes." ""How Ar e Things in Glocca Morra?"" "[ Knock on door, door opens ]" "" " You sent for me?" "" " Yes." "You enjoy doing that, don't you?" "" " Sending f or you?" "Yes." "" " Yes." "Well, I want you to know that your neuroses-riddled f emale power plays ar en't gonna bring you what you want." "I sent f or you." "You'r e her e." "Yes." "" " I'm doing fine." "" " Now what do you want?" "According to The Sports Report, you ar e the 92nd most influential person in sports." "" " Really?" "" " Yeah." "Dan and I ar e 92nd?" "" " Casey..." "listen to me." " 92nd?" "Now, now, wait a minute." "I think we'r e at least 65, and that's being conservative." "Dan's not on the list." "What ar e you talking about?" "You'r e 92nd." "He's not on the list." "" " Well, how do you know?" "" " I know." "How do you know?" "We f ound out last night that they'r e leaking it tomorrow." "Why don't they just publish the damn thing?" "What does it matter?" "I'm saying -- " " Does Danny know?" "" " No." "" " When's he gonna find out?" "" " I thought I'd leave that up to you." "[ Sighs ] You'r e delegating?" "Part of my neuroses-riddled f emale power play." "" " Well, it won't work." "" " Leave now." "Okay." "[ Indistinct, slow rock music plays ]" "It's a parallelogram." "No, it's not." "It r eally is." "Mmm, suit yourself." "Yes, ex cept it r eally is a parallelogram." "The sum of two adjacent angles of a parallelogram have to equal 180 degr ees." "I know that." "Okay." "Really." "It's okay to admit that you don't." "I actually have a degr ee in applied mathematics." "Oh, well, they should have made you come to class mor e because it's nowher e -- hey, you know, it was f r eef orm sculptur e." "I wasn't r eally using a protractor," " and a couple of times the olives broke." "" " Oh." "My name's Jenny." "I'm Jer emy Goodwin." "Nice to meet you." "Have we met?" "Oh, I, uh, I don't think so." "You sur e you didn't go to Amherst?" "I went to Arizona State." "" " Oh, you'r e a Sun Devil." "" " Uh-huh." "We didn't go to camp together?" "I, uh, never went to camp." "Oh, you should have gone to camp." "It's gr eat." "I heard." "Ar e you in sports?" "Why do you ask?" "'Cause you r eally seem very f amiliar to me." "Ar e you in sports?" "Yeah." "Ar e you..." "Sammy Sosa?" "No." "Of course not, because Sammy Sosa's a big Dominican man in a Cubs unif orm." "Yeah." "No, I work across the str eet at CSC." "You work f or "Sports Night"?" "I'm a producer." "You produce "Sports Night"?" "That's sufficiently impr essive." "Oh, I don't produce it myself." "Ther e's an ex ecutive producer and a senior associate, both of whom ar e above me." "Do you think your car eer progr ess is being thwarted by your inability to make a parallelogram?" " [ Laughs ] " " I actually do not, no." "Think you'd have mor e f riends if you knew -- " " I know how to make a parallelogram." "" " Okay." "I also have plenty of f riends." "You just pr ef er to drink alone." "My f riends ar e mad at me right now." "Why?" "I broke up with their girlf riend." "Ah." "Ar e you sur e I don't know you?" "No." "" " The best thing f or you to do right now..." "" " Yeah?" "buy me a drink." "Okay." "[ Indistinct shouting ] Quiet, please." "Folks, quiet!" "[ Shouting stops ]" "Whoo!" "Her ein ar e the rules " "Each team will send one player to the sacr ed helmet of names." "That player will have 60 seconds to get his team to name as many of the celebrities written down in the sacr ed helmet as possible." "You may employ any means necessary ex cept saying any part of the person's name." "When the game is over," "Dan will hoist me on his shoulders." "I'm r eclaiming my manhood today, baby." "" " Let's go." "Chris:" "Hang on." "" " What?" "" " Will's in the bathroom." "" " We shall wait." "" " Yes, we shall." "Casey?" "[ Laughter ]" "You snapped your fingers?" "" " Yes." "" " Why?" "" " To get you to come to me quickly." "Have you spoken to Dan yet?" "" " Ah." "" " No." "No, 'cause you know why?" "" " Casey..." "'Cause I don't want to ruin his good time tonight." "Why don't you use this opportunity of Will being in the bathroom " "I'm back!" "Yes, you ar e, thank God." "Bef or e we start, I'd like to ask a question." "" " Is it about the rules?" "" " Yes." "" " What?" "" " Does anyone know the lyrics" " to "How Ar e Things in Glocca Morra?" " " I do not." "I have a compr ehensive knowledge of these things." "We don't know the lyrics, Isaac." "Ar e we r eady to wipe the smug off their f aces?" "" " Yes!" "" " Yes!" "" " Yes!" "Ar e we r eady to r eclaim our manhood?" "" " Ugh!" "" " Huh!" "" " Whoo!" "Then let the games begin." "[ Indistinct shouting ]" "All right, let's go." "All right, uh, this guy was attorney general in 1973 f or about 5 minutes." "" " Saturday Night Massacre -- " " Elliot Richardson." "" " After him." "" " William Ruckelshaus." "" " Yes!" "" " Ooh." "" " Ooh." "This guy def eated Montezuma." "" " Cortés." "" " Yes." "" " Need a first name." "" " Chris..." "" " Come on, come on." "" " Jack." "" " There it is " " Jack." "" " Aw." "It was Jack!" "His f riends called him Jack." "This guy got Al Capone." "" " Elliot Ness." "" " Yes." "Uh, t-this guy was one of the Monkees." "" " Davy Jones." "" " Not Davy Jones, but..." "" " Veronica." "" " No, what?" "!" "No, Veronica w-- " " Played the tambourine." "" " That wasn't a real band." "Yeah, well, neither ar e the Monkees!" "They'r e r eal people, okay?" "" " And the guy, like a mouse -- " " Time!" "[ Groaning ]" "Time!" "[ Light laughter ] Veronica?" "Well, yeah, 'cause I put her name in the helmet." "I thought that maybe you picked it." "Yeah, you thought ther e was some crossover between the Archies and the Monkees?" "Hey, look, I'm under a certain amount of pr essur e her e!" "" " Yeah, well, you'r e dealing with it well." "" " Hey... you got f our, and that's giving you Jack Cortés." "After 3 f ull rounds, we are ahead by 22." "[ Cheering ]" "Just call time out." "" " Time out." "" " For what?" "" " For what?" "" " We need to r egroup and get some mor e beer." " [ Groaning ] " " Yeah, we need to r egroup and get some mor e beer." "I'm setting this alarm for 10 minutes." "When this thing goes off, we come back to finish what we began." "[ Laughing ] Oh, my God." "I don't think I'm ever gonna get my manhood back, am I?" "It's not r eally clear you ever had it in the first place." "No, you had it, you had it." "Good evening." "From New York City," "I'm Casey McCall alongside -- " " Hang on." "" " What?" "It's not "Good evening f rom New York City."" "It's "Good evening" -- comma -- "f rom New York City I'm Casey McCall."" "You pronounce the comma?" "You don't pronounce it, but you acknowledge it." "" " I acknowledged it." "" " No, you didn't." "You want me to doff my cap?" "" " Oh, it wouldn't kill you." "" " I don't have a cap." "Then you should doff something else." "What did you have in mind?" "What?" "" " Uh-oh." "" " No." "I, uh, just took it to the next level, didn't I?" "Did you?" "If you'r e not sur e, then I didn't do a good job." "That's not necessarily true." "I'm not that good with these kinds of things, and usually a girl needs to smack me in the head and hold up a sign." "Good to know." "Ther e ar e ar eas in which I'm an expert." "" " Name some." "" " Sports." "Hmm...how many home runs did Ken Griff ey hit in '97?" "Ken Griff ey wasn't playing baseball in '97, but his son Ken Griff ey Jr." "Hit 56." "" " He hit 54." "" " You ar e wrong." "" " I don't think so." "" " I know so." "" " You want to make a bet?" "" " You'll lose." "I don't think so." "I've got the Elias Sports Book across the str eet." "I'm not going anywher e." "I used to know these songs." "I used to sing them with my f riend Cory, a r ehearsal accompanist." "Hey, why don't you give Cory a call?" "Oh, he died about a year ago." "Sorry." "Yeah, I can't r emember the lyrics." "Well, you'r e ahead of us, Isaac, 'cause we never knew the lyrics." "I f orgot my grandson's name this morning, just f or a moment, but it seemed longer than that." "Completely f orgot his name." "Oh, man, when I was growing up, my f ather would call upstairs to me and my brother and my sister." "He'd go through such a Rolodex of names" " [ Chuckles ] -- before he'd hit on anything even in the vicinity of our names that it..." "" " Yeah." "" " You work a long day." "Yeah, I'll r emember it." "Well, don't go f ar." "We'r e starting again soon." "Yeah." "It's when he gets tir ed." "Yeah." "Hey, listen, her e's something you'r e not gonna like." "" " What?" "" " Uh, well, I don't think it's a big deal." "" " I don't think anybody else is gonna think it's a big deal, either." "" " What?" "" " Hey, Jeremy." "" " Hey, I just, uh, I need to borrow your copy of Elias." "Uh, it's up in the cabinet." "We f eel bad." "It's one of those things." "Hey, why don't you stay and play?" "No, you know what?" "I think it's better f or Natalie to be able to " "Nah, come on." "Yeah, I'm just gonna grab this and go." "That book is mine, and it doesn't leave the building." "Do you know how anal you ar e about your books?" "Uh, I know that Natalie's got your manhood stuff ed inside of her Prada bag." "I'll make a copy." "" " Let's go." " l-I still need to talk to you." "All right, well, later." "[ Chuckles ]" "Here we go!" "We, uh, led off the last round." "You lead off this one." "" " Uh, is she, uh, talking to me?" "" " Yeah." "Elliot: 5...4...3...2..." "This is the secr etary-general of the U.N." "Kofi Annan." "Yes, uh, no." "Oh, oh, oh, Boutros Boutros-Ghali." "" " Yes." "" " Bet your ass." "Okay, this is a porn star." "This is a f emale porn star." "Uh, da da da da, off the top of my head," "I can't think of the names of the films she's been in." "Act them out f or us." "I don't think so." "Uh, okay, I can tell you she was in "the best of Nina Hartley."" "[ Whistle blows ]" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "What, what, what?" "That was a violation?" "What is the one rule of Celebrities?" "Y-You can't say the person's name?" "You can't say the person's name!" "Dana:" "All right, we'll give 'em one for Boutros Boutros-Ghali, and the rest of his round is over!" "[ Indistinct groaning ]" "Casey:" "Sorry." "[ Indistinct, slow rock music plays ]" "Hey!" "What took you so long?" "Oh, yeah, I was -- " " Let me see." "" " Jenny?" "" " Aw, son of a bitch." "" " Yeah." "You wer e right." "" " I do it f or a living." "" " Oh..." "You figur ed out how you r ecognized me." "Yeah." "You r eally shouldn't watch those kinds of movies, Jer emy." "I don't, I swear." "Sometimes I get home very late at night because of the show, and..." "Channel 35." "" " Well, it's just ther e." "" " It's okay." "" " Look..." "" " It's okay...to enjoy the movies, Jer emy." "That's why I make them." "" " Yeah, but -- " " I do that f or a living." "Well, I, you know..." "You'r e very good." "Thank you." "Anyway, it's 56 home runs." "Why don't you come out with me and my f riends tonight?" "Ther e's a party." "Why ar e you talking to me?" "What do you mean?" "Ther e ar e a lot of guys in this bar." "" " Jeremy..." "" " Ther e ar e a lot of guys in this city." "Why did I start talking to you?" "Yes." "Ow." "It's what you told me to do." "" " Really?" "" " I made a sign." ""I think you'r e cute, and I've had f un talking to you, and I'd like you to ask me out."" "Yes." "That's pr etty flattering." "Well, I should think so." "[ Sighs ]" "I can't." "You didn't like talking to me?" "No, I did." "But now that you know what I do f or a living " "My point is that I am nothing like the people that you associate with." "How do you know who I associate with?" "I've seen them in the movies." "" " Yes, those ar e people I work with." "" " Yes." "And in what ways ar e you not like them?" "Well, anatomically, to be sur e." "Thank God f or that." "Yeah." "" " Come out with us." "" " Look..." "No one is gonna take their penis out and hit you in the head with it." "Thank God f or that." "Come on." "It's just not my world." "I'm sorry?" "I'm not making any judgment at all." "It's just not my world." "Ah..." "I think you ar e making a judgment," "Jer emy, 'cause the whole thing's your world." "You get to try everything you can." "I -- you'r e not in my world, either, but I started talking to you anyway because I don't ordinarily get to meet guys like you, and I r eally wanted to." "So I think you ar e making a judgment, because it's either f ear or some ridiculous pr econception that I am someone who can't be seen in daylight that's keeping you f rom saying yes," "because I know you like to talk to me, and I know that you like to look at me." "I hope it's f ear, because the other's r eally pathetic." "[ Sighs deeply ]" "Either way, I've, uh..." "I've got a Website, so if you've got a cr edit card, you can look at me wher e it's mor e comf ortable." "Thanks f or the drinks." "5-second warning." "4...3..." "[ Chuckles ]" "Oh, my God." "This is it." "[ Laughs ]" "" " What ar e you doing?" "" " It's the signal." "" " What's he doing?" "" " It's a signal." "It's Rooty something." "" " Nope." "" " It's Rooty." "No, it's not." "It's Rooty Rooty." "[ Laughter ] Okay, Casey, come on -- " " Rooty, Rooty, Rooty." "" " No, no, no." "" " Well, j-just give me a second!" "" " Rooty..." "" " I got it!" "" " Please!" "So I ask each weeping' willow and each brook along the way and each lad that comes a-whistlin' too-ra-lay," ""How ar e things in Glocca Morra this...fine...day?"" "Ex cellent!" "Can we please -- " " And my grandson's name is Matthew, by the way." "" " Can we please -- 20 seconds." "Come on, what am I doing?" "Rooty." "Rooty." "Listen, listen, listen, quickly, quickly, calmly, f or the love of God, please stop saying Rooty, okay?" "All right, I'm gonna get this." "This is an Israeli violinist." "Yehudi Menuhin!" "" " Yes!" "Elliot:" "Time!" "We got one!" "[ Cheering ]" "[ Indistinct shouting ]" "Yes, we did." "We did." "We got one." "And it was a testament to gr eat teamwork, however ragged it may have been." "Oh, yeah, jeez, the guilt is practically flying out of my ears her e." "We need to take a br eak." "No br eaks." "" " Just get a beer?" "" " Okay." "Can I talk to you f or a second?" "Don't let my enthusiasm out ther e mislead you." "This team still needs a lot of work." "Yeah, uh..." "[Sighs] listen." "The Sports Report's top 100 list is coming out Friday." "Yeah, was it leaked?" "Uh, yeah." "Y-You'r e not on it." "" " What else is new?" "" " I am on it." "" " Really?" " 92." "That's gr eat." "[ Clink ] Look " "Although I think you got gypped." "I mean, you should have been at least -- " " Who was higher than you?" "" " Danny, I -- look, look " "No, I'm saying, I mean, who's higher than you?" "91 other people." "It's okay to be pissed." "" " Is it?" "" " Yeah." "Thanks f or your permission." "I'm sorry." "Nah, that's a good thing, 'cause I was running out of stuff to talk about with my therapist." "Look, trust me, this isn't a problem f or your therapist." "This is a problem f or your publicist." "" " Dude, I don't have a publicist." "" " I know." "" " Ex cuse me." "" " Hey." "I f eel like I've been interrupting you guys in the middle of things." "" " No." "Look, no." "" " Yeah." "Come on, this has to stop, all right?" "We'r e with you on this." "Nothing's changed." "Natalie's just a little tweaked." "We're gonna deal with it." "And it's wrong to think that ther e ar e two sides on this." "I appr eciate that." "I'm just gonna sit her e a second." "I've been having a bit of a night." "I'm just gonna take a second." "What's going on?" "Nothing." "Okay." "Well, let's go." "Game time." "" " We'r e all right?" "" " We'r e perf ectly fine." "Hey, did you mean it when you said that you thought I should be higher than 92?" "Yes." "Well, if I could trade my 92 in" " f or your "Didn't make the list at all," I would." "" " Thanks." "Though, r est assur ed, that kind of thing is completely beyond my control." "[ Timer dings ] " " Game time!" "" " Get out." "Elliot: 5-second warning." "Isaac:" "Okay." "" " In 3...2..." "Okay, this guy is an explor er." "He discover ed an east trade route." "He discover ed worlds beyond Europe." "Natalie:" "Marco Polo." "Um...oh, okay, this guy is dead." "He broke all the rules f or guitar." "Dave:" "Oh, Jimi Hendrix." "Um, okay, this guy didn't use any of the r ecognized rules of punctuation." "Will: e.e. cummings." "[ Cheering ]" "Yes!" "Ooh, sorry." "Okay, downtown artist turned soup cans " "Andy Warhol." "Uh, oh, oh, f amous comedian, uh, f rom the '60s." "Elliot:" "Alan King." "No, not Alan King." "He went to jail for obscenity..." "" " Lenny Bruce." "Elliot:" "Lenny Bruce!" "Yes!" "Okay, this is -- uh, ooh, this is a f amous American poet." "He escaped society to live in the..." "" " Thor eau." "Natalie:" "Henry David Thoreau." "Yes." "Okay, this is a dancer." "Yes, this is a dancer." "She scandalized Paris in the '20s..." "" " Marilyn Monroe!" "" " Josephine Baker." "The '20s -- she did a f an dance." "Will:" "Josephine Baker." "[ Cheering ]" "Chris:" "Time!" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "[ Rock music plays ]"