"Right..." "Right, my name's Rick, OK ?" "Shut up !" "My name's Rick, OK ?" "And I've got a couple of..." "Probably a waste of time..." "Right, I've got a couple of poems here." "I don't know if any of you are into poetry." "Shut up !" "Right." "If you're not into poetry, you've come to the wrong place." " Right." " Right." "Pardon ?" "Right." "Pretty angry poems and the first is one of my angriest." "It's called "Theatre"." "Right, that's got 'em." ""Theatre." "What are you, theatre ?" ""Whenever I'm near to the theatre," " "I..."" "Shut up !" ""Whenever I'm near to the theatre, I ask myself this question," ""I don't know." ""Perhaps I should ask Vanessa Redgrave." ""But I don't know Vanessa Redgrave," ""And neither do you, theatre."" "Now we're talking." ""Theatre, why are you theatre ?" ""Whenever I meet a friend in the theatre" ""I..." Shut up !" ""I ask him this question with my eyes." ""He sighs and he replies like all the other guys," ""I don't know." "Ask Vanessa Redgrave."" ""But I don't know Vanessa Redgrave," ""And neither do you, theatre." ""Theatre, are you theatre ?"" "Total." ""Whenever I carry my spear to the theatre" ""To do "Hamlet"," ""I ask it this question," ""It says nothing except, 'I don't know', ask Vanessa Redgrave."" ""But I don't know Vanessa Redgrave and neither do you, theatre." ""Or do you ?"" "Don't clap, it's so hypocritical !" "Right, just got time for one more." "Right." "This is an angry love poem that I've written called "Vanessa."" "Shut up !" ""Vanessa"." "I don't see anything funny about that." "Right." "Do you want to come down here and read a poem ?" "Right." ""Do I love you, Vanessa, Vanessa, Vanessa ?" "Vanessa, do you love me ?" ""Vanessa, you've made a mess of my life, Vanessa." Shut up !" ""Where do I find the key ?" ""Whenever I see the tulips, the tulips, the tulips," ""I think of your two lips, your two lips, your two lips," ""Except that they are not yellow" ""But at least they are two lips not three."" "Shut up !" "Who needs you ?" ""Vanessa, I shall go to my grave with a bleeding heart," ""But at least it will be a red grave."" "Shut up !" ""Or will it ?"" "Shut up !" "Right, I hoped you learned something." "Thank you very much." "Before we go on with the proceedings, I'd like to give you a little contortionism." "Thank you very much."