"I DON'T BELIEVE IT." "MOM, I'M NOT THRILLED ABOUT THIS EITHER." "BUT CLAIR, FOOTBALL?" "SHE WENT TO SOME GAMES" "AND DECIDED SHE WANTS TO TRY IT." "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY." "HI, MOM." "HI, GRANDMA." "OH, RUDY, COME HERE." "LET GRANDMA TAKE THAT THING OFF" "AND GIVE YOU A KISS." "CLIFF." "HI, MOM." "MOM, SHE'S AMAZING!" "SHE WAS OKAY." "OKAY?" "THE COACH PUT HER IN THE STARTING LINEUP." "SHE'S OKAY." "ARE YOU OKAY?" "I'M FINE." "WANT TO SEE ME PLAY?" "RUDY, DO YOU WANT TO PLAY AGAIN?" "YEAH." "MOM, RUDY HAS SO MUCH PADDING" "SHE'D NEVER GET HURT." "BESIDES, SHE'S SO QUICK, NO ONE WOULD GET HER." "SHE'S OKAY." "RUDY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BATH." "OKAY." "COME ON, KIDDO." "I'LL HELP YOU WITH YOUR PADS." "SO RUDY DID WELL?" "SHE'S OKAY." "WHY DON'T YOU LET IT OUT?" "LET IT WHAT-IT OUT-IT?" "YOU KNOW YOU ARE DYING TO TELL US" "HOW GREAT RUDY WAS TODAY." "NAW." "PLEASE, CLIFF." "IF YOU DON'T, YOU'RE GOING TO EXPLODE." "WELL, I'LL TELL YOU." "MAYBE EVERY 500 YEARS OR SO..." "AN ATHLETE COMES ALONG." "AND THIS TIME THIS ATHLETE HAS COME" "IN A DIFFERENT-LOOKING PACKAGE." "THIS ATHLETE HAS THE SPEED, THE MOVES" "AND MOST IMPORTANTLY..." "THE HEART." "YOU COULD SEE THAT AFTER ONE PRACTICE?" "THE COACH AND I ARE VERY, VERY SORRY" "THAT SHE DECIDED SO LATE TO GO OUT FOR THE TEAM" "BECAUSE SHE WAS OUT AT PRACTICE FIVE MINUTES" "TOOK THE BALL TWICE, SCORED TWO TOUCHDOWNS." "AND THAT IS WHY" "I HAVE GIVEN HER THE NICKNAME, "THE GRAY GHOST."" "THE GRAY GHOST." "NAMED AFTER ANOTHER HUXTABLE, NAMELY HER FATHER." "WELL, CLIFF, RUDY IS VERY LUCKY" "TO HAVE A FATHER WHO IS SO ENTHUSIASTIC" "ABOUT HER ACTIVITIES." "THANK YOU, MY MOTHER-IN-LAW." "CLAIR, I ALWAYS LIKED YOUR HUSBAND" "BUT I THINK HE'S STRANGE." "HEY, DAD." "HEY." "IT'S EXPERIMENTAL FOR ME." "I HOPE IT WILL BE EXPERIMENTAL FOR YOU." "THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN A MYSTERY ABOUT THE DRUM." "THE DRUM IS THE FATHER OF THE PERCUSSION SECTION." "FIRST, WE TAKE THE SNARE DRUM." "NEXT, WE GO TO THE BASS DRUM." "HI, DAD, HI, THEO." "HEY." "HEY, SONDRA." "FROM THE BASS DRUM, WE GO TO THE TOM-TOM." "AND FROM THE TOM-TOM, WE GO TO THE CYMBAL." "WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS?" "IT'S EDUCATIONAL, DEAR." "WHAT ELSE IS ON?" "NOTHING." "DAD!" "YOU JUST SAID THERE WAS NOTHING ON." "WHAT WILL WE DO?" "TALK." "TALK?" "YEAH." "SONDRA, HOW'S SCHOOL?" "GREAT." "THEO..." "DON'T ASK." "REALLY?" "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" "MISS WESTLAKE, MY MATH TEACHER." "MISS WESTLAKE IS TOUGH." "I KNOW YOU THINK SHE'S GREAT" "BUT THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND." "WHAT?" "SHE CALLED ME" "UP TO THE CHALKBOARD" "TO DO MATH PROBLEMS." "SHE TOLD ME TO STAY TILL I DID IT." "AND?" "SHE HAD THE NERVE TO TURN HER BACK ON ME" "AND TEACH THE CLASS." "SHE LEFT YOU UP THERE DOING WORK" "WHILE SHE TAUGHT THE CLASS." "HELLO!" "SHE DIDN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO FINISH?" "NO." "HOW LONG DID IT TAKE?" "I WAS UP THERE THE WHOLE PERIOD." "WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED" "IF YOU'D TOLD HER THAT YOU COULDN'T DO THE PROBLEM?" "SHE'D LET ME SIT DOWN." "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER THAT?" "I COULDN'T DO THAT." "SHE'D THINK I DIDN'T KNOW THE ANSWER." "DID YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?" "OH, YEAH, YEAH." "DOES SHE CALL ON YOU A LOT?" "YES." "DOES SHE MAKE YOU NERVOUS?" "I GET NERVOUS JUST THINKING ABOUT HER." "I THINK I KNOW WHY." "WHY?" "IT SOUNDS LIKE" "YOU'RE SUFFERING" "FROM PERFORMANCE ANXIETY." "THAT'S AN INTERESTING DIAGNOSIS." "WHAT IS IT?" "YOU HAVE TROUBLE PERFORMING BECAUSE YOU'RE INTIMIDATED." "THAT'S IT." "THAT'S WHAT I HAVE." "YOU CAN DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEM" "WITH "POSITIVE VISUALIZATION."" "I'LL TRY ANYTHING." "HERE'S WHAT YOU DO." "YOU VISUALIZE YOURSELF STANDING IN FRONT OF THE CHALKBOARD" "WORKING THE PROBLEM CORRECTLY." "THEN VISUALIZE MISS WESTLAKE SMILING" "READY TO EMBRACE YOU." "OH, SONDRA, STOP!" "I THINK THAT VISUALIZING MISS WESTLAKE" "IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM." "I THINK THAT WHEN YOU'RE STANDING UP AT THE BOARD" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING." "WHAT THEO NEEDS TO DO" "IS VISUALIZE HIMSELF UP IN HIS BEDROOM" "DOING HIS HOMEWORK." "HAVE YOU EVER OPENED UP ONE OF HIS BOOKS?" "NO." "YOU CAN HEAR THE BOOK OPEN." "I THINK YOU OUGHT TO COME ALONG WITH ME." "I WANT YOU TO VISUALIZE YOURSELF" "DOING YOUR HOMEWORK" "AND VISUALIZE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE REALLY DOING IT." "AND, THEN, VISUALIZE YOUR FATHER" "DRIVING YOU TO A COLLEGE CAMPUS." "I WANT YOU TO VISUALIZE GOOD-LOOKING WOMEN" "WHO WANT TO DATE BOYS WHO VISUALIZE THEMSELVES" "WITH GOOD GRADES." "I CAN VISUALIZE THAT." "ALL RIGHT." "I CAN ALSO" "VISUALIZE MYSELF" "IN A NICE SPORTS CAR." "GOOD." "I WANT YOU TO VISUALIZE YOURSELF PAYING FOR IT." "GO!" "GO!" "GO!" "GO!" "OKAY, OKAY." "RUDY, WHEN YOU SCORE YOUR FIRST TOUCHDOWN" "HERE'S WHAT YOU DO." "THEO!" "HI, RUDY." "YOUR BLOCKING BACK IS HERE." "WHERE'S MOM?" "IN THE KITCHEN." "EVERYBODY GET IN THE CAR." "EVERYBODY'S IN THE CAR." "COME ON." "I'D RATHER STAY HERE." "BUT TODAY IS YOUR DAUGHTER'S FOOTBALL DEBUT." "TODAY WE'RE GOING TO WATCH THE GRAY GHOST GALLOP." "I CAN'T TAKE THIS." "YOU SAID WHEN OUR SON WAS PLAYING:" ""CLIFF, IT'S IMPORTANT" "THAT THE FATHER BE THERE TO WATCH THE BOY."" "I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT" "THAT THE MOTHER WATCH THE DAUGHTER." "ALL RIGHT." "BUT IF ANYBODY TRIES TO HURT MY BABY" "I'M GOING TO GO OUT THERE AND STOP THEM." "THIS IS GOING TO BE WONDERFUL." "SEE A MOTHER RUNNING OUT ON THE FIELD." "SIX..." "SEVEN..." "EIGHT..." "NINE..." "GET THEM UP, GET THEM UP!" "HIGHER, HIGHER." "RUN, RUDY!" "DID YOU SEE THAT?" "!" "THAT'S MY DAUGHTER!" "THAT'S MY CHILD!" "THAT'S MY DAUGHTER, TOO." "MY DAUGHTER." "GRAY GHOST!" "THAT'S SWEET FEET!" "SWEET FEET!" "SWEET FEET!" "SWEET FEET, SWEET FEET!" "SWEET FEET!" "OKAY!" "YAY!" "ALL RIGHT!" "WE'LL GET READY FOR THE VICTORY BANQUET!" "YAY!" "AND WHOEVER MADE FOUR TOUCHDOWNS" "GETS TO DECIDE WHAT WE'LL EAT." "HOT DOGS!" "ALL RIGHT!" "EVERYBODY GO UPSTAIRS AND WASH." "RUDY, GREAT GAME." "WAY TO GO, RUDY." "HOW YOU DOING?" "FINE." "IS ANYTHING HURT?" "I HAVE A BUMP RIGHT HERE." "LET ME SEE." "OH..." "OH, SHE GOT A BOOBOO." "DID YOU GET THAT DIVING INTO THE END ZONE?" "I'LL MAKE IT FEEL BETTER." "OKAY?" "OKAY." "WHY DON'T YOU" "GO TAKE A BATH?" "OKAY." "SWEET FEET." "SWEET FEET." "SWEET FEET." "YOU ARE PITIFUL." "IS THIS THE SAME WOMAN, A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO:" ""I DON'T WANT MY CHILD ON A FOOTBALL FIELD ...KILL SOMEBODY... "" "I WAS CONCERNED." "BUT CLIFF, FOUR TOUCHDOWNS?" "RUDY IS FIERCE." "I LOVED IT..." "ESPECIALLY" "THAT MOVE WHERE SHE FAKED THEM ALL OUT!" "MY BABY RAN TO THE LEFT" "RAN TO THE RIGHT, DOWN THE FIELD TO THE GOAL!" "SWEET FEET, YES!" "YES!" "THAT'S MY CHILD OUT THERE HAVING FUN." "I THINK THE MOTHER HAD MORE FUN THAN THE CHILD." "I DON'T RECALL EVER ENJOYING A FOOTBALL GAME THAT MUCH." "I BEG YOUR PARDON?" "OH, WELL THAT'S EXCEPT FOR YOUR GAMES." "I ENJOYED YOUR GAMES, BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS." "YOU WERE ENTERTAINING." "YOU GAVE THE CROWDS THRILLS" " AND LAUGHTER." "WHERE DID THE LAUGHTER COME IN?" "THERE WAS THE WESTFIELD GAME." "IN THE WESTFIELD GAME I SCORED TWO TOUCHDOWNS." "THAT'S RIGHT, AND THEY SCORED THREE OFF YOUR FUMBLES." "IT WAS RAINING AND THE BALL WAS SLIPPERY." "I SEE..." "WELL, THEN THERE WAS THE HARRISON GAME." "THE HARRISON GAME." "STARTING KICKOFF, THE BALL LANDED ON YOUR HEAD." "THE BALL DID NOT LAND ON MY HEAD." "IT BOUNCED OFF OF MY HELMET" "BECAUSE THE SUN WAS DIRECTLY IN MY EYES." "OH, I SEE, SO YOU HAD TROUBLE ON RAINY AND SUNNY DAYS." "WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE GROVERTON GAME?" "IN THE SNOW." "AND I WAS GOOD IN THE SNOW." "NO, CLIFF, IN THE SNOW" "EVERYBODY LOOKED AS BAD AS YOU." "DON'T EVER KISS ME AGAIN." "* BABY, BABY, WHEN I LOOK AT YOU" "I FEEL... *" "HI, DAD." "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "ROBERT DOESN'T HAVE THIS ALBUM." "I'VE SEEN THE PHONE USED FOR MANY THINGS" "BUT NEVER AS A RADIO STATION." "NOW, I WANT YOU TO SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM TO ROBERT" "AND TELL HIM YOUR BROADCASTING FOR THE DAY IS FINISHED." "I'LL CALL YOU BACK, OKAY?" "NO, NO, NO, NO." "YOU'RE NOT CALLING HIM BACK." "JUST A SECOND." "HI, ROBERT?" "THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE, HOW ARE YOU?" "LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY:" "THE VANESSA BROADCASTING COMPANY" "HAS NOW CONCLUDED ITS BROADCASTING FOR TODAY." "PICK HER UP TOMORROW AT EIGHT O'CLOCK" "TO WALK HER TO SCHOOL, ALL RIGHT?" "AH, BOY." "HEY NOW, FOOTBALL GAME." "YOU'RE GOING TO WATCH FOOTBALL WITH ME?" "YEAH." "WHO'S PLAYING?" "THE BEARS AGAINST THE GIANTS." "THIS IS GOING TO BE A GREAT GAME." "HOW DO YOU KNOW" "THIS IS GOING TO BE A GREAT GAME?" "THEY LOOK LIKE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING." "WHO'S GOT THE BALL?" "THE BEARS, DEAR." "AND WHO IS PLAYING RUDY'S POSITION?" "NUMBER 34, HIS NAME IS WALTER PEYTON." "YEAH!" "GET IT!" "NINE YARDS, THAT WAS MEAN." "NINE YARDS?" "AND HE GOT TACKLED?" "YES." "RUDY'S BETTER THAN HIM." "WHY IS THAT MAN MOVING?" "THAT'S "MAN IN MOTION"- IT CONFUSES THE DEFENSE." "I KNOW RUDY'S TEAM COULD USE THIS" "AGAINST THE COUGARS ON SATURDAY." "THE COUGARS ARE TOUGH." "WHO TOLD YOU THAT?" "PETER'S MOTHER." "LAST YEAR THEY WERE THE CHAMPIONS." "THEY EVEN HAVE CHEERLEADERS." "YES, BUT THEY DON'T HAVE SWEET FEET." "HEY, A BALL GAME, WHO'S PLAYING?" "BEARS, GIANTS." "OH, I HEARD OF THEM." "SEE THAT GUY?" "THE COACH PUT HIM IN MOTION" "TO CONFUSE THE DEFENSE." "MAYBE YOU SHOULD COACH RUDY'S TEAM." "MAYBE NEXT YEAR." "WHICH ONE IS RUDY'S POSITION?" "OH, WALTER SOMEBODY, HONEY, BUT HE GOT TACKLED." "HE IS NOT AS GOOD AS RUDY." "I DON'T LIKE THOSE COSTUMES." "THE BLUE CLASHES WITH THE GREEN." "YEAH, BUT THAT BLACK DOES MAKE THEM LOOK THIN." "I LIKE THE PANTS!" "YEAH?" "NOW, DENISE, YOU SEE THAT ONE RIGHT THERE?" "NUMBER 16?" "YEAH?" "HE'S CUTE." "YES, HE IS CUTE." "HOW ARE MY FIRST-STRINGERS?" "FINE!" "OKAY, LET'S GO" " WE GOT A BALL GAME TODAY." "CHECK IT OUT, MOM." ""YOU CAN'T BEAT SWEET FEET-"" "I LOVE IT." "THANK YOU, THANK YOU." "COME ON, LET'S GO." "WE'RE WAITING FOR VANESSA" "VANESSA, HONEY, LET'S MOVE IT." "WE ARE GOING TO A FOOTBALL GAME." "ROBERT MIGHT DROP BY." "COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO!" "LET'S GO, LET'S GO!" "PARDON ME" "WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY FOOTBALL?" "YEAH!" "WELL, LET'S GO, HERE WE GO, COME ON." "HIT IT!" "HIT IT!" "HIT IT!" "HIT IT!" "HOW YOU FEELING?" "FINE." "ROUGH OUT THERE, HUH?" "I KNOW" " WE'LL GET THEM NEXT TIME." "BUT TODAY WAS THE LAST GAME OF THE SEASON." "OH..." "CAN I TAKE MY BATH NOW?" "SURE." "I'LL HELP YOU CHANGE." "I'LL GIVE YOU A RUBDOWN." "MAN, THOSE COUGARS HAD THEIR ACT TOGETHER." "YEAH." "IT'S A MIRACLE WE ONLY LOST... 47 TO SIX." "SOMETIMES THE CLOCK IS MERCIFUL." "WHEREVER SHE WENT THEY WAITED FOR HER." "I THINK THEY NEED TO MAKE A NEW RULE" "THAT ONLY ONE PERSON CAN TACKLE AT A TIME." "DID YOU SEE THE WAY THEY PILED UP ON MY BABY?" "AND NUMBER 36- FROG-EYED THING" "THE WAY HE THREW HER DOWN!" "SOMEBODY NEEDS TO SMACK THAT CHILD." "DEAR, THAT'S THE WAY THEY TACKLE." "THE BOY WAS ONLY DOING HIS JOB." "UH-UH" " THIS GAME IS ALL ABOUT WHO YOU CAN KILL." "IT IS ANIMALISTIC." "THE GAME IS NOT ANIMALISTIC." "AND DON'T EAT ANY MORE COOKIES!" "THOSE COUGARS WERE NOT OUT THERE TO HAVE FUN TODAY, CLIFF." "THEY ONLY CARED ABOUT ONE THING:" "THEY CARED ABOUT WINNING." "THAT'S ALL THEY CARED ABOUT." "THEY CARED A LOT." "THERE'S TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON SPORTS." "THE MONEY FROM ONE WEEKEND OF SPORTS ATTENDANCE" "COULD FUND A GOOD BALLET COMPANY FOR TEN YEARS." "THIS IS NOT ABOUT FOOTBALL." "IT'S ABOUT US." "WHEN THIS CHILD FIRST WENT OUT FOR FOOTBALL" "WE ALL SAID, "THIS IS A LITTLE GIRL" "SHE'S GOING TO GET HURT, IT'S A DANGEROUS SPORT."" "THEN SHE BEGGED US AND WE LET HER GO OUT." "SHE BECAME GREAT AND THEN EVERYBODY SAID" ""YEAH, SWEET FEET, SWEET FEET!"" "THEN WE CAME UP TO THIS GAME" "AND THE COUGARS, GOD BLESS THEM" "THEY CAUGHT OUR DAUGHTER" "AND THEY THREW HER UP IN THE AIR" "AND NOW MY WIFE IS SAYING" ""SOMEBODY'S GOT TO SMACK THESE PEOPLE"" "AND MY DAUGHTER WANTS ALL OF THE MONEY FROM FOOTBALL" "TO BE GIVEN TO BALLET." "THAT'S NOT WHAT IT'S ABOUT." "WE'RE THE PEOPLE WHO CHANGED OUR MIND." "AND I THINK WE ALL SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO RUDY." "APOLOGIZE?" "FOR WHAT?" "I HAVE NO IDEA." "CLIFF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "I THINK I'M GOING TO HAVE THESE BRONZED" "BECAUSE SHE'S NOT GOING TO PLAY ANYMORE." "AND SHE CAN ONE DAY PUT THESE UP ON HER MANTELPIECE" "AND TELL" " WHOEVER- WHAT SHE DID." "IN A WEEK SHE MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN BALLET." "DEAR, YOU CAN STILL GET HURT IN BALLET." "YOU COULD PULL A MUSCLE, OR WHEN YOU DO THE..." "WHAT DO THEY CALL THEM?" "WHEN THEY JUMP UP" "AND THE MAN COULD FORGET TO CATCH YOU." "WHO IS IT?" "ME!" "COME IN, ME!" "I CAN'T SLEEP, VANESSA'S SNORING." "SO?" "CAN I SLEEP HERE?" "SURE." "NO." "RUDY?" "YEAH?" "YOU LIKE FOOTBALL." "YEAH." "WELL, YOU'RE GETTING" "A 15-YARD PENALTY FOR INTERFERENCE." "GOOD NIGHT, RUDY." "GOOD NIGHT, MOMMY." "GOOD NIGHT, CLIFF." "THIS IS A COLD-BLOODED FAMILY, BOY."