"If you really wanted out, then you would date that guy." "What better way to show Vic that you don't want to be married to him than to fall in love with another man?" "Thank you." "I love flowers." "Are you trying to get me to fall in love with you?" "[ giggles ]" "Buy her a bottle of tequila." "She might marry you." "Ha, ha, ha!" "Hey, Charlie." "How you doing?" "I'm Vic." "I am Val's..." "Brother -- he's my brother." ""Happy birthday." ""Enjoy a lovely weekend in Vermont at the Winchester Inn." ""My boyfriend's parents" ""are coming to New York Halloween weekend and they'll need a place to stay, so go then."" "Aw, Mom." "You guys want to spend a weekend in Vermont?" "I understand why that ankle bracelet means so much to you." "I mean, Henry was your first love." "I never had a first love..." "until you." "I'm your first love?" "And hopefully my last." "I can't keep going through this." "Charlie, this is a diamond bracelet." "I had a really excellent time tonight." "Nana?" "It's Charlie." "Of course she took the bracelet." "And on Halloween, I'm giving her the ring." "[ sighs ]" "Aaaaah!" "[ screaming ]" "Hey!" "It's me!" "Your husband." "What's wrong with you?" "!" "You scared the hell out of me!" "No, it's Halloween." "I scared the "Hal" out of you." "[ chuckles ]" " Sorry." " Ugh." "What are you doing here?" "You're supposed to be at the firehouse." "Holly is in Vermont." "I was supposed to be alone tonight, peaceful and happy, the way I was before the incident." "Oh, you mean the drunken-marriage incident?" "Okay." "Can you not use the full title?" "'Cause that makes me look bad." "Go away." "But I made you blah-sagna." "[ laughs ]" "Go." "All right." "Fine." "If you don't want to hear about the call from Holly..." "Holly called me?" "Uh, no." "Well, Holly called me, all right?" "She said they got there safely." "They're tired." "They're napping." "She said she loves us." "And she said since we're alone, we should go for it." "Whatever that means." "[ chuckles ]" "Get out!" " Is that what you really want?" " Yes!" "Yes!" "I want it!" "I need it!" "I'm desperate for it!" "So, uh, do you want me as a man or as a bat?" "Get out." "Get out." "âª You really know how to dance âª âª When you go up, down, jump around âª âª Talk about true romance âª âª Yeah âª" "âª Keep on whisperin' in my ear âª âª Tell me all the things that I wanna hear âª âª 'Cause it's true âª âª That's what I like about you âª" "âª That's what I like about you âª âª That's what I like about you, you, you âª âª That's what I like about you âª" "âª That's what I like about you âª âª That's what I like about âª âª Uh-huh âª âª Uh-huh âª âª It's what I like about you âª" "[ sighs ] âª âª" "I love you." "Mmm, I love you." "[ snoring ]" "Tina!" "[ gasps ] Oh!" "Tina, meet me outside." "[ door opens ] [ snoring ]" "What do you want?" "Tina, I'm ready." " For what?" " For you and Gary to leave." "What?" "I'm ready to be alone with Vince tonight." "I'm ready." "I'm ready ready?" "Ready ready?" "Oh, my God, you're ready?" " I'm ready." " I can't believe it." "So, this is it." "This is the moment?" "I'm hoping it'll be longer than a moment." " So, what do you want me to do?" " Leave!" "Tina, it's our first time." "I want it to be special." "And I just think it'll be more special if you and Gary aren't near." "I'm sorry to make you drive all the way back, but everything feels so perfect now." "It just feels right, you know?" "And I love him and I trust him and..." "I'm ready." "Ready ready?" "Ready!" "So, here's what you've got to do." "Fake sick and then ask Gary to drive you back to the city." "But, you know, this trip was my birthday present." "If it's any consolation, you throw a super-fun party." "[ laughs ]" "God." "Do you have any idea how lucky you are?" "Look at me, okay?" "I'm going to a singles party dressed as a slutty flight attendant so I can find someone to "fly me."" "Yes, I am actually going with that line." "Can you help me get this stupid bracelet off?" "Oh, do you mean the stupid diamond bracelet that Charlie got you?" "That's right -- it's another man that can't live without you." "Oh, he's a sick, obsessive, crazy weirdo." "Hmm, always the glass half-empty." "Don't you have some peanuts to pass out?" "Let me just tell you a little something, missy." "You keep pushing Vic away, and one day he won't come back." "And then do you want to know where you'll be?" "Cleaning a toilet." "Cleaning a toilet on Halloween." "That's real fun, Val!" "It is fun!" "It is only fun to a person who gives trick-or-treaters raisins." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Any of you kids got a single, cute dad at home?" "Oh." "Lauren!" "Lauren!" "[ whimpering ]" "Ah, Charlie's bracelet finally came off!" "Oh, Lauren!" "I'm stuck!" "Help me!" "[ door closes ]" "Oh!" "Oh, you came back." "Thank God." "I love you." "I love you!" "I love you!" "Charlie." "Hi." "[ moaning ]" "Man, why can't she take the damn train home?" "I ain't missing my apple butter seminar." "[ moaning ]" "For God sakes, this fresh country air is killing her!" "We got to get her home." "Gary, we got to go." "Holly's ready." "Ready for what?" "[ indistinct whispering ]" "Oh, damn." "Oh, uh, whoo!" "Tiny, you are burning up." "We got to get you home, huh?" " Are you guys really leaving?" " Yes." "So, I packed you both." "Tina, come on, I'll walk you to your car." "[ door closes ]" "What?" "She's ready, bro." "Who's ready?" "Holly's ready." "Holly's ready for you, for it, the whole damn package." "Here." "You're gonna need this." "No!" "Are you serious?" "[ chuckling ] How do you know?" "A-and why do you know before me?" "The Tina." "Man, I'm so happy for you, I could kiss you." "But you got to save a little sumpin' sumpin' for Holly." "I don't believe it, man." "Yeah, well, believe it, baby." "This is it." "You and Holly, Holly and you " "This is big, bro." "Believe me, I know." "No, no, no." "I don't think you do." "This is a very important night for her, man." "This night she's going to remember for the rest of her life." "The rest of her life." "You better make this perfect." "Gary, it's gonna be amazing." "I'm in love with her." "Exactly!" "And you have never been in love before." "This is gonna be the first time that you are making..." "love." "That's the stuff Usher sings about." "Wow." "Y-you're right, man." "It'll be, like, kind of like my first time, too." "[ scoffs ] But it's -- it's all good." "It's all good." "It's sure good that it's not me." "This night is momentous." "Man, my head would burst violently with some kind of pressure like this." "[ voice cracking ] I'm gonna be fine." "[ deep voice ] Fine." "Now, I know you're nervous, but you must remember to bring home some of that delicious apple butter." "[ Valerie ]:" "I'm starving." "How about pizza?" "I know a great place." "What's the number?" "Uh, I'm a visual person." "I need to see the numbers." "Me too!" "You and me..." "Hey, Vic..." "from the pizza place." "Um, hey, it's Val." "Um, I have kind of an emergency here." "See, my friend Charlie stopped by and, uh, my hand is stuck in the toilet." "And it is just scary... how hungry we are." "Yeah, so if you could bring over some nuts... and some cuckoo puffs when you come, that'd be great." "Okay, come on over now!" "[ sighs ]" "This is nice." "[ door opens ]" "Hey." "Wow." "It'd be so much more fun if you came in." "You like the shirt?" "It belongs to the cutest guy I know." "I let, uh -- I let Gary borrow it once." "It didn't look like that on him." "Thanks for making the food run." "Aw." "I didn't ask for flowers." "I know." "I saw them and I thought of you." "Aw." "[ both laugh ]" "So..." "So... alone at last." "Yeah." "At last alone." "There's no one else that I'd rather be alone with." "This night is gonna be so special." "Yeah." "Special." "[ chuckling ] A very special night... the kind of night Usher sings about, right?" "[ laughs ] [ sighs ]" "The kind of night that I'm gonna remember for the rest of my life." "Yeah." "Momentous." "[ purrs ]" "Hey!" "Sourdough crackers from France, huh?" "Ooh-la-la." "Ooh, I never had one of those before." "I know." "First time -- a lot of pressure." "It's just a cracker." "I know." "I know." "I just " " I just had a lot of other crackers, and I never loved any of them." "I'm sure it'll be fine." "But I want it to be more than fine." "I want it to be everything you've dreamed of." " How bad can it be?" " I just don't want you to be disappointed." " I won't be!" " But what if you are?" " Screw the cracker!" " I can't!" "So, Val, I've been waiting for the right time to give this you." "And what with your left hand free, it's fate." "[ sighs ]" "Val, the bracelet I gave you has a matching ring." "Yay." "Valerie..." "I want you to be my " "Oh, God, is that an engagement ring?" "What, am I nuts?" "It's a pre-engagement ring, silly." "[ laughs nervously ] [ door closes ] Oh!" "Yay!" "The pizza's here." "Pizza man, in here!" "Hey." "What's going on?" "Hey, Vic." "Val's caught in the toilet, and we're pre-engaged." "And, Val, your boyfriend and your brother are both wearing the same costume." "Crazy, huh?" "Yeah, that's crazy." "Uh, Charlie, you know what?" "I think I can handle things from here." "But there's pizza coming." "Um, there's no pizza, Charlie." "Yeah, uh, i-it's time for you to go." "I think Val would like it if you left." "What are you talking about?" "Val and I are soul mates." "We're meant to be together." "I know this pre-engagement happened kind of fast, but I know deep in my gut that she's the woman for me." "Haven't you ever felt that way, Vic?" "Yeah, Charlie, I have." "And do you want to know who my best man is?" "Okay, stop it!" "Charlie, Vic can't be your best man." "See, we're married." "What?" "You married your brother?" "Can you do that now?" " Charlie..." " Ugh!" "And we made out!" "You're sick, lady." "Oh." "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "I was so scared." "I didn't know who else to call." "Yeah." "No problem." "Um, you know, if you need me for anything else, uh, I'm gonna be staying down at the firehouse." "What?" "Why?" "Val, didn't you just hear Charlie?" "I mean, I have said those exact words to you." ""We're soul mates." ""I know things happened fast, but we were meant to be." "I know in my gut you're the one for me."" "I mean, we were even wearing the same outfits." "No." "Y-your cape is black." "His was red." "Look, Val, I finally get it, okay?" "I get why you keep fighting us." "I get why you keep pushing me away." "I must look like a nut to you, too." "Well, sometimes you feel like a nut." "In my heart," "I honestly believe you and I are meant to be." "But until you see it..." "I can't stay." "Okay." "Well, um, when are you coming back?" "I don't know." "It might be a while." "I got to go." "[ toilet flushes ]" "Now I got to go." "[ Sade's "Lovers Rock" plays ] âª You are the lovers rock âª âª The rock that I cling to âª" "Isn't this nice?" "Uh-huh." " What's going on?" " Nothing." "Why?" "I'm fine." "'Cause, I don't know, you seem a little... not moving." "It's just..." "I'm just..." "Holly, there's something I have to tell you, and it's really embarrassing." "Tell me." "You know, you can tell me anything." "I just wanted tonight to be so perfect that I got... poison ivy." "What?" "Yeah, I got it bad." "And it's -- you can't touch me." "It's highly contagious." "Oh." "Uh, let me get you some lotion." "No, no, no, no." "I'm just gonna sleep it off." "You can sleep off poison ivy?" "Starve a cold." "Sleep off poison ivy." "[ imitating snoring ]" "Charlie?" "Why doesn't Val love me?" "I mean, okay, I'm not her brother." "But I have other things I can offer -- children with one head." "[ cellphone rings ] Oh, wait." "Hold your pain." "Yeah?" "Vic?" "Oh, thank God." "Uh, Charlie's back." "Yeah, he's right outside my door." "Uh, I can see him through the peephole." "Can you come back...now?" "He's, uh, he's standing right outside your door?" "Wow." "My God, you must be terrified." "Yeah." "Oh, God, I'm freaking out." "Go away, Charlie!" "Okay, honey." "Just relax." "I'll be right there, okay?" "Okay." "Bye." "Hey, Charlie?" "Uh, I owe you one, buddy." "Oh, hey, Lauren." "How was your singles party?" "You know what?" "There is a reason those people are single." "Don't sweat it, kiddo." "There's someone for everybody." "Hey, hey, where are you running?" "I'm going home." "Uh, ready to go?" "Mm-hmm." " No, I got it." " Just let me help you." "No!" "I've been working out." "I have very strong arms." " And why did you lie to me?" " What?" "I checked out your body last night while you were sleeping and you don't have any red dots or hives or bumps." "And I checked everywhere." "I feel so violated." "What's wrong?" "Why don't you like me?" "Oh." "Holly, I'm in love with you." "Then why are you making up rashes not to be with me?" "I mean, you slept with every other girl on the planet." "[ whining ] Why not me?" "Because you're not every other girl on the planet." "Holly, I love you." "So we're never gonna have sex 'cause you're in love with me?" "[ sighs ] It's all Gary's fault." "He got me all nervous." "You were nervous?" "Yeah." "You're so incredible." "I just " "I just wanted everything to be perfect for you." "[ sighs ]" "Vince." "It would have been okay if you made a mistake." "I mean, seriously, I got nothing else to compare it to." "[ chuckles ]" "Let's get out of here." "I think they're still serving breakfast before checkout." "And I'd really like to get Gary some apple butter." "Holly, you are the coolest girl." "Right back at you." "[ Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved" plays ] âª I don't mind spending every day âª âª Out on your corner in the pouring rain âª âª Look for the girl with the broken smile âª" "âª Ask her if she wants to stay a while âª" "You know?" "I think I'm ready." "I'll be gentle." "âª She will be loved âª"