"Fuck, we're bleeding." "Great." "Now I got brain coming out of the wound." "Raise his head and give him 100 grams of Mannitol." "Let's put him in burst suppression." " What's his blood pressure?" " 117 over 72." "Are we maintaining cerebral perfusion?" " Body temperature's 34.5 - 117 over 72." "Are we maintaining cerebral perfusion?" "Body's temperature's 34.5." "We've loaded him with Dilantin and Decadron." "Fuck." "Fuck." "Julie, I need two Fraziers and some aneurysm clips." "We've got to stop all this bleeding." " I'll need Gelfoam and cottonoids." " We got to stop this bleeding." " This aneurysm." " Absolutely." "Gelfoam and cottonoids." " The CT scanners will come in after surgery." " If we make it that far." "If we make it that far." "That shit smells awful." "Fenugreek." "Fenugreek?" "What the fuck is fenugreek?" "Try some." "It's delicious." "No, thanks." "You put a little maple syrup on it." "Can you hurry up?" "I don't want to be late for my funeral." "Relax." "We got plenty of time." "You've got nothing but time." "Which doesn't exist anyway, so..." "You don't know what you're missing." "Damn it, David." "I told you I wanted to be cremated." "You can do this." "Cat." "Tac." "No, reverse it." "Cat." "Cap." "Almost." "Cat." "Let's try another one." "Duck." "Fuck." "Close." "Goat." "Go..." "Let's take a break." "Go..." "She's definitely got your nose." "And your eyes." "Look at that face." "Look at this little person we created." "I love it when she does that." "When she sort of jerks right before she falls off to sleep." "Wakes herself up." "You freaked out the first time she ever did it." "I remember that feeling of falling when I was little." "Like I was falling out of bed." "It always woke me up." "Like I was scared of what I was going to fall into." "That never happens to me any more." "God." "We lose so much, you know?" "Oh, great!" " Great." "He's got the hiccups again." " So shake him and scream in his face." "The world is a hostile, terrifying place." "He needs to learn that." "If your mom says what a gassy baby you were and how he gets it from you, I'll scream." " And I'll start farting." " Thank God we got high before we came." "Call me crazy, buddy boy, but I don't think it makes a damned difference who won." " They're all crooks." " How can you not care?" " That bullshit acceptance speech!" " Language." ""I was not elected to serve one party."" " The operative words being "not elected"." " Want the end piece?" " I don't eat red meat." " I made you chicken." "Nate, if you didn't want Bush in the White House, why did you vote for Nader?" "Sorry I'm late." "The traffic was, like, severely ridiculous." "Ruth." " Merry Christmas." " Claire." "You don't look well." " I may be coming down with a cold." " Let me feel your head." " The end piece?" " It's OK." "People get colds." "Anybody want the end piece?" " Nate?" " Sure, I'll take it." "Everyone save some room for dessert." "Mother, are you trying to sabotage my diet?" "Of course not, Tricia." "I support your commitment to hating yourself for not having the ass of a ten-year-old boy." "Why do you have to be so crude?" "Because God is punishing you through me." "Fisher Funeral Chapel." "Nate Fisher speaking." "I'm so terribly sorry." "Yes, we are open today." "Any time before eleven." "I wish we could make it through Christmas dinner without somebody dying." "We'll be waiting for you." " Heart attack." " Thank God for small favours." "Ah, shit." "I've seen this one before." "That was Dr..." "Schrödinger." "Kitty... didn't make it." "What are we watching this for?" "Cos it's what's on." "Quit flapping your trap." "I like this show." "So, the universe is split in two." "Two?" "Try two billion." "What's gonna happen to us?" "There, there." "We always end up in a universe in which we exist." "Remember Copenhagen?" "Oh, yes." "The Eigenvalues in bloom." "You just keep telling yourself, everything that can happen does." " Somewhere." " Shit." "I seen this one before." " Tell me what's going on." " I need you to answer some questions." "Do you believe your consciousness affects the behaviour of subatomic particles?" "Am I alive or am I dead?" "Do you believe that particles appear in all possible places at once?" "And if I am dead, is this heaven or hell?" "Do you believe the universe is splitting into billions of parallel universes?" " What the fuck do I care?" " You only get one choice." "Think about this." "Just tell me." "Am I dead?" "Yes or no?" "Yes." "And no." "Some places you're dead, some you're alive." "Some places you never existed." "Possibly." "Theoretically." "Or who knows?" "This could just be the anaesthesia talking." "Go ahead." "Open the box." "Fuck it." "No, I never actually flatlined." "I just woke up." "Later they told me the AVM ruptured in surgery." "What does that mean, ruptured?" "Well, just, you know, exploded." "My head actually exploded." "I should have died or had brain damage but I pulled through and seven months later, nothing even shows up on an MRI." "Wow." "You're really lucky." "So fucking lucky." "So fucking lucky." " Right?" " Oh, that is so beautiful." " His doesn't have the inlay." " Where did you get this?" "My boss, Carol, had to have a lot of jewellery made for this King Arthur cable movie." "She turned us on to the guy who did it." "I still can't believe how fast you two got married." "It wasn't that fast." "We've actually been together eight years." "You know, on and off." "Between here and Seattle." " Well, you look really happy." " I am really happy." "Good." " My sister-in-law's an astrologist." " And a drunk." "And she was telling me about this weird thing her profession is facing." "When did astrology become a profession?" "You know, with the whole possibility of interplanetary travel." "This pasta salad is so good." " I want to spend a weekend alone with it." " That makes me feel weird." "Say in your chart, Mars is in Scorpio." "Well, what about when people are born on Mars?" "Their Mars isn't in anything but their earth, it's in Virgo." " Honey, no one's listening." " I know." "I'm boring myself." "Oh, I made some pasta salad without tuna in it for you." "No, I'm nursing." "I need the protein." "Spencer!" "Put the kitty down." " So the breast-feeding thing is better now?" " Yeah." " I'm taking fenugreek." " Fenugreek." " Oh, I've heard of that." "How?" " It's amazing." "Nursing was so painful for me at first." "My milk production would never catch up with her demand." "Put the kitty down!" "But now there's always enough." "The only drawback is my sweat smells a little like maple syrup." "Thank you." "Breasts are actually modified sweat glands." "And I hardly ever sweat." "Which is maybe why it was so painful for me at first." "I wish I got more of those elliptical ones." "They're better for your knees." "But I'm sure I wouldn't be using that one either." " Todd, thanks for having us." " Taking off so soon?" " I got to work tonight." " Want a hit for the road?" " I'd better not." " All right." "I think I know somebody who wants to buy a motorcycle." "Somebody already bought it." "Oh, well." "Yeah." "All right." "Thanks again." " I'll see you next time." " All right." "Later." " It was fun." " Yeah, I like them." "She's nice." "He's a little weird." "The food was good." "Nate, we totally grabbed the wrong bag." "Oh, shit." " All right." "Be right back." " Keys." "I feel... judged." "I feel criticised." "I feel like nothing I do is good enough." "I feel ashamed of who I am, like I'll never be the person you want me to be." "I don't want you to be anyone except you." "Keith, now is about you listening." "You'll get your chance in a moment." "Yeah, OK." "I feel like I'm living in a minefield." "Sometimes." "Your anger is so random and arbitrary." "Let's try to avoid making judgments about Keith's behaviour right now and really stay focused on what you feel." "I'm afraid of pissing you off, so..." "I'm constantly editing myself." "I guess I'm confused." "I don't even know who I am any more." "I'm done." "Now, Keith." "What did you hear?" "A lot of whining." "Perhaps you have some feelings of your own you'd like to share?" "Yeah." "I hate my job." "I feel like a fucking loser driving around in a Home Alert uniform answering alarms set off by poodles and sucking up to rich assholes who make more in a day than I make in a year." "I ought to be able to blow off steam when I come home without you taking it personally because it's very rarely about you." " David?" " I don't think that's fair." "You don't want me to have any feelings." "No, I'd just like to have fun now and then like we used to." " We don't have fun?" " Rarely." "Rarely?" "On occasion." "How's your sex life?" "It's kind of great." "Yeah, that part works." "So it seems engaging passionately is comfortable in that arena but not so in other areas." "What other things do the two of you like to do together?" "We go to movies sometimes." "We go to dinner." "We used to play racket ball." "He was so much better than me it was a joke." "I wasn't challenging enough." " I never said that." " It made me feel inadequate." "What kinds of things do you do on your own?" " Besides work, work out." " Yeah." "My job kind of keeps me from doing much else." "Friends?" "Most of my friends are cops." "But I don't see 'em any more since I left the force." " David never really had any close friends." " That's not true." "There's a group of independent funeral directors I get together with every month." "You hate those guys." "We're out of time." "This week, should any conflicts arise, try to focus on expressing what you're feeling instead of criticising and blaming, OK?" "Change." "Good, Russell." "Change." "Fuck, it's almost five." "Rico's gonna have my head." " Mom." " Hello." "How is my precious girl doing today?" "She has the hiccups again." "She gets that from her daddy." "He was a very gassy baby." "Yes, he was." "I'll get her some gripe water." " Do you burp her often when she's nursing?" " Of course." "What's wrong with you?" "Uh, I don't know." "I think I just had the weirdest déjà vu." "Hello!" "Every time I pop by, there are more people here." "Hi." "I'm Carol Ward, Lisa's boss." "I'm Ruth Fisher, Nate's mother." "We've met several times." "You're not living here now too, are you?" "I'm kidding." "Calm down." " I hate to keep harping on this." " I parked in the driveway again." " There are two cars today." " Sorry, I didn't know." "Oh, please, it's no biggie." "I'm sure you didn't know." " What's your excuse?" " I was just dropping off..." "I could get a sign made." ""Nate, back it up." "Put it on the street."" " I'm kidding." " If you want, I'll move it right now." "Don't be silly." "Whenever." "Doesn't matter." "Sooner rather than later." "Lisa, I'm having dinner with Penny Marshall tonight so I want you to cook." "OK." "But I'm hosting an impromptu gathering tomorrow." "I'm trying a new pitch on friends." "Shouldn't be more than... 30." " OK." " You have time to go over a menu with me?" " Now?" " Yes!" " Take your time, dear." "I've got all afternoon." " Nice to meet you, Nate's mother!" "She's energetic." "She's a lunatic." " Hey, Rico." " Nate, hey." " How's it going?" " Good." "Good, good, I'm glad to hear it." "Listen, I don't know if you're aware of this, or if you even care, but we have two viewings tonight." " 6:30, and one at eight." " Yeah, I'm on my way." "Good." "Because your brother is nowhere to be found." "And he's not answering his cellphone." " And there's only so much I can do." " Sure." "I can't be in two places at the same time." "I get it, Rico, OK?" "Lay off the lecturing." "I'm not your kid." "I'm not your employee, I'm your partner." "I am a licensed funeral director now." "OK?" "You guys took my money, you made me a partner, it's time you treated me like one." "Goodbye." "So, Claire, how's art school?" "It's OK." "What kind of stuff are you doing?" "Well, yesterday, we had to draw this naked guy in, like, 30 seconds." " Well, that sounds fun." " Not really." "It's hard." "And, like, I don't even wanna be an illustrator or painter or whatever." "But they say we need to know how to do everything, like Picasso." " It's intense." " But you get to be creative every day." "Good morning." " Hey!" " Hello, pumpkin." " How's it going?" " It could not be going any better." "Would you look at this little girl?" "Is that the face of God or what?" "There's stuff coming out of God's nose." "Who's precious, is it you?" "Yes, it is." "Can you help with her today?" "Lisa's got to help Carol." "Carol's having this big Hollywood ass-lick dinner." "Of course." "You guys, she took the most amazing poop this morning." "Who, Lisa?" "Seriously." "It was just so perfectly formed, so healthy and compact." "It was like an adult poop." "It made me so happy." "When you live with a baby you see the world as being totally new all over again." "They're just so pure and uncorrupted." "It's a fucking privilege." "How come neither of you's been over to visit recently?" "Because being a father has turned you into a dithering idiot." "Wow." "You're so tough and cool and above it all." "I wish I was you." "Does anybody want the end piece?" "Oh, Nate." "Can you drop Mrs Folger at the crematory this afternoon?" "No." "I've got the Polp funeral." " Yeah, well, I've got the Bennett funeral." " Can't Rico do it?" "His exact words were, "No fucking way, I'm not your fucking gofer any more."" "Claire, can you give us a hand?" "Sorry, I have homework." "Pay you 50 bucks." "You'd pay a delivery service more than that." "All right." " As long as I don't have to touch dead skin." " She's all boxed up." "I can't do it till around four, cos I have to practise drawing a perfect circle." "That takes seven hours?" "I have to be able to do it on command in class tomorrow." "It's not as easy as it sounds." "Is that the box that needs to go to the crematory?" "The?" "Yeah." "Well, I can take it now." " You're taking it?" " Yeah." "They hired me to do runs since nobody else wants to do it." " Really?" " Yeah, for 50 bucks a shot." "But you're gonna need to help me get that into my car." "So what kind of music do you guys play?" "It's kind of like early Peter Gabriel meets Tool." "Emotionally vulnerable like Sunny Day Real Estate but politically conscious, like Public Enemy." "We're still working on it." "When you guys play, let me know." "I'll come." "Why don't you hang out, while we practise?" "I don't think I can." "I've got this thing, I'm supposed to..." "OK." " I'm Phil." " I'm Claire." " You want a beer?" " Sure." "You really amaze me, Lisa." " Why?" " Your energy." "It's boundless." "You should be bottled as an alternative energy source." "You'd save the world." "Well, that's kind of funny because..." "I feel tired all the time." " Really?" " Yeah." "I think it comes with being a mom." " Yeah." " Not that I'm complaining." "I mean, Maya's totally transformed my life." "I can't even imagine going back to the way things were before." " Wow." " So what if I have to work extra hard?" "I want to." "It's worth it." "It is so worth it." "Carol?" "Don't pay any attention to me." "I'm just nervous." "Nervous about this meeting next week." "I have to pitch to McG in person." "Whoa, is he intimidating." "Can I make you some camomile tea?" "For Christ's sake, I'm not your grandmother." "I'm your boss." "Stop looking at me, Lisa." "Carol, I'm always here for you." "Also, I swim laps in the morning." "I used to be able to do that naked." "Which was a great way to start the day." "Like I was Artemis." "I went out feeling like a warrior, a huntress, which is what you have to do in my business." "Now I can't do that any more because there's a man here." " I'm sure Nate wouldn't mind." " I would." "I don't appreciate the hostility he shows by parking in the driveway." "I'm sorry." "I will talk to him about it." "I'm going to swim some laps." " Are you ready for the pak-choi?" " Yeah." " What are you doing?" " Adding pepper." "I already added pepper." "OK, I feel shamed." " What?" " When you said, "I already added pepper."" "My perception was that you were irritated with me for not knowing that and that you were angry with me, that I shouldn't have done it." "Why would I be angry with you?" "Maybe you don't want me to be involved in the cooking process." "Maybe you just want me to prepare the ingredients, maybe you want total control over what happens in the wok." "So we have a little extra pepper in the wok - it's not a big deal." "I know it's not a big deal." "OK." "I heard what you said." "It was not my intention to shame you." "I know." "Good." "I love you." "Are the carrots ready?" "I grew up in a family where people express their anger on a regular basis." "So that's what intimacy feels like to me." "You grew up in a family where no one expressed anything." "We also never hit each other." "So whenever I'm slightly irritated, it scares you?" "Right." "It just means I'm comfortable with you." "It doesn't mean I don't love you." "Did you pick up the dry-cleaning today?" "Yeah, it's in the closet." "There." "Isn't that delicious?" "Your daddy used to love peanut butter too." "Yes, he did." "So did your uncle David." "Not your aunt Claire." "She absolutely hated it, always did." "Still does." "Isn't it funny?" "They were all little babies once too." "But their daddy's mommy never liked spending time with them the way I like spending time with you." "She never really liked me, and she never liked my children." "She was convinced I'd gotten pregnant on purpose to trap Nathaniel into marrying me." "Which wasn't true at all." "I certainly never intended for that to happen." "Especially when I was so young." "I was terrified when your daddy was born." "Absolutely terrified." "Hey, Mom." " Goodness, you startled me." " She give you any trouble?" "Heavens, no." "She's an angel." "Are you ready to go home, angel?" "I made you a chicken breast." "No, thanks, I got to be getting home." "But... put it in the fridge." "I'll eat it tomorrow." "If you and Lisa want a night off, I'd be happy to watch her." "You could go out to eat, see a movie." "I could keep her here overnight." "Thanks, but Lisa's working tonight and Maya hasn't slept outside the family bed yet." "Well, maybe it might be better for her to try a night sleeping on her own." "Mom, we know how you feel about it." "You're very clear on that." "We feel differently." "She's almost nine months old." "She's going to have to leave the family bed sometime." "Maya will let us know when she's ready to leave, all right?" "Good night." " Good night, Grandma." " Good night." "Are we having sex?" "OK." "Just let me take a shower first." "Morning." "What time is it?" "A little before ten, I think." "How do you take it?" "Black." "So what do you have to do today?" "Class." " What kind of class?" " Drawing class." "We're learning how to draw a perfect circle." " That sounds cool." " It's not." "It's stupid and tedious." "And pointless." "I went to art school to be expressive, not to perform some pointless task like a lab rat." "You want to play hooky?" "Yes." "Nate, I need you to do me a big favour and cover the Folger funeral today." " Who's Frank Muehler?" " Frank who?" "Muehler." "He's in the date book every Wednesday at two." "I have no idea." "Must be somebody Rico put in there." "There's a phone number." "I'm gonna call and find out." "All right, no." "Keith and I are in couples counselling." " Really?" " It's not that big a deal." " Are you guys OK?" " Of course we're OK." "We're just seeking the advice of a professional to help us to establish boundaries and write the rules of our relationship together." " What happened?" " Nothing happened." "Keith has anger issues he inherited from his father and I have a lot of doormat issues I inherited from Mom." " Can we never talk about this again?" " Sure." "You're OK though?" " Can we never talk about this again?" " Got it." "And how are you and Lisa?" "We're great." "It's still a little bizarre to me." "All the possible ways my life could have gone." "I mean, it's just about a year ago I got engaged." "You remember that?" "I thought I loved Brenda." "Maybe I thought I could make it work just out of sheer will." "But... you just never know." "You have no fucking idea what life has in store for you." "So can you cover the Folger funeral for me or not?" "Are you sure you're all right?" "I'm fine." "I've got an audition for the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles." " What?" " That sounds fun." "I'm trying to create something for myself outside of my job and my relationship." " I could use your support." " All right." "Don't worry." "The Folger thing's a walk in the park." "You just knock 'em dead." "No pun intended." " I'm so nervous." " David, you'll be great." "From your mouth to God's ears." "All right." " Thanks, Nate." " Any time." " Hello." " Hi, it's Lisa." " Hello." " Ruth, did you give Maya peanut butter?" "Yes, and she loved it." "Nate..." "You never give babies peanut butter under the age of one." "They can develop horrible allergies." "Didn't you know that?" "No, I didn't." "Is she all right?" "Yes, but that's not the point." "You should never give her peanut butter." "Or honey, or strawberries, or egg whites." " Please." " Of course." " I'm sorry to be so abrupt with you." " No, I'm sorry." "I had no idea." "Peanut butter was never a problem when my children were young." " Are you sure she's all right?" " She's fine." "Do you need any help with her today?" "I could come over." "Ruth, no." "You spend so much time over here." "I feel bad." " It's no problem, I like..." " Seriously, take some time to yourself." "I hardly saw Maya at all yesterday." "I really just wanted it to be the two of us today." " OK." " But thanks." "I'll talk to you later." "Thank God." "It's very frightening." "I didn't know who to call." "Ma'am, calm down and tell me what happened." "Come." "I'll show you." "It's weird when you find stuff like that out later in life." "I mean, I had no idea that I wasn't planned." "I'm not sure what difference it makes." "I mean, Maya wasn't planned and we couldn't love her any more." "It's just..." "I don't know." "What?" "I don't like knowing that my whole existence is an accident." "It's just too fucking... random." "Yeah, but that's the way it happened." "Things happen the way they're meant to, Nate." "See, that's a kind of fatalism that I just don't buy." "Well, what's the alternative?" "We make choices." "But maybe your parents never would have chosen to get married if you hadn't happened." "And then not only would you not exist, but Claire and David wouldn't either." "It's just not what was meant to happen." "But surely we're more than just things that happen?" "Maybe we are, maybe we're not." "I love it when she does that." "When she sort of jerks." "Right before she falls off to sleep." "Wakes herself up." "You freaked out the first time she ever did it." "I remember that feeling of falling when I was little." "Like I was falling out of bed." "It always woke me up." " Like I was scared of what..." " You were going to fall into?" "Yeah." "It never happens to me any more." "Don't be so sure of that." "What's going on with you?" " I think I dreamed this." " What?" "This moment." "Just this." "This life we have together." "You and me, Maya." "Here." "Now." "English"