"Save the details till after the honeymoon, homeboy." "She has some problems." "Daddy, I think there's a snap undone." "Would you take a look?" "I don't think so, honey." "Are you sure?" "I'm not feeling very well." "Of course you don't." "You're getting married." "Get used to it." " Here we go." " She's a bit compulsive." "Maybe I should say compulsive and neurotic." "Yeah, I know." "She's Maria." "She sleeps with a flyswatter." "Hell, if I looked like Maria, I'd sleep with a bazooka." "So you guys got some issues." "It's called modern romance." "If you need it, there's an ice chest under your mother's seat." "I'm okay." "I feel better now." "Careful of your dress, dear." "She, uh..." "She cleans the house twice a day on her day off." "Yeah, well, at least she works." "We get to go to all those great magazine parties." "Hey, remember Claudia from the "Elle" party?" "Oh, man." "She's always locking the bathroom door." "She gets suicidal from time to time." "All women get suicidal from time to time." "God, I love her." "So how long have you known all of this?" "They just sort of creep up on you, you know?" "One by one." " And before you know it..." " I say, don't panic." "It's probably just a phase." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Here she is." " You guys are awfully late." " We're supposed to be late." " Mom, you got my train?" " I got it, dear." " Come on, Dottie." " I still think that dress is too tight." "I require and charge you both as you will answer on the Day ofJudgment... when the secrets of all hearts will be disclosed... that if either of you know any impediment... why you may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony... do now confess it." "How much do you love me?" "Oh, a thousand." "Only a thousand?" "That's not very much." "I can even count to a thousand." "One, two, three, four..." "Okay, a hundred thousand million billion." "That's better." "We're gonna be late for Alfred." "Yeah, but I love the reason." "Besides, myJuliet... wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?" "How much satisfaction can'st thou get in 11 minutes?" "I'll be nicer in therapy." "How about the issues we were discussing last time?" "Things are still the same." "He's not nice to my friends or my parents." "He's cheap." "He flirts, and he has a terrible temper." "But I'm a loving, tolerant woman, so..." "Oh, that feels so good." "She keeps bugging me to build another room on to the house." " We don't have any money, so..." " It would, of course... put his car out in the driveway for a couple of months." "Okay, okay." "Yes." "Yeah." "Oh, right there." "Right there." "Yes." "Maria, why is this new addition to the house so important to you?" "Because I wanna have a baby." "Go deeper." "With all this talk about a baby, how's the sex?" "You go first." " You want me to?" " Sure." "Why not?" "Okay." "I have a confession to make." "I fake my orgasms." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" " You what?" " I didn't wanna tell you." "I didn't want to hurt you." "You're telling me you've never had an orgasm?" "Not with you." "Joseph, it's important you appreciate the risk..." "Maria's taking in communicating this to you." "Do you think I'm a lousy lover?" "Hmm?" "I love you, you know." "Whoa!" "Tell the balcony crew those doors are in." "Yo, Nick, you must have fucked up big." "We is humbled by youse royal presence, Sir Suits." "Relax, Carlos." "Yo, Nick, I go out on a limb to get you this job, like I always do..." "I wouldn't work without you, Joseph, my white patron saint." "Well, thank you, Nick, but the problem is... we're about four months behind after two months on the job." "You geniuses made the schedule." "I just took the job." "Hey, Nick, what's this?" "Oh, yeah, go ahead, Tanner." "Take a look." " Yeah?" " It's a little discovery of Carlos's." " Every hour on the hour." " Holy shit!" "Oh, man!" "This is unbelievable." "You gotta check this out." " This is unbelievable." " Must be the redhead." "Oh, man." "Mm-hmm!" "Ooh!" "You guys are perverts." "Are you kiddin'?" "This guy's a national treasure." "One of a kind." " Holy shit!" " What do you mean?" "This guy has anywhere from four to six women a day, one after the other." "And word has it he pleases every one of'em." " Joseph, take a look." " No, I can see just fine." "Oh, my God!" "Here comes another one." "I don't believe it." "They just passed each other and said hi." "They said hi to each other." " Oh, Jesus." " Tanner." " Yeah?" " Let's check out the site." "All right, Joseph, I am." "I am." " It's gotta be an implant." " An implant?" "Yeah, an implant, you know." "A lot of guys got 'em." "It comes with a pump." "You just pump it up, and it just stays there... you know, whenever you need it." " Sounds like a good idea." " Yeah, I gotta talk to that guy." "That redhead was to die for." "Oh, man, I wanna die." " Tanner?" " Yeah?" "Does Vicky have orgasms?" " What?" " You know, does she..." "Does she come when you're doin' it, or does she fake it?" "What?" "No!" "Of course she has orgasms." "I mean, man, she goes crazy." "How do you know?" "I mean, she could be fakin' it." "You can tell." "I mean, they quiver all over." "Believe me, they quiver all over even when they're fakin' it." "Shut the fuck up, would ya?" "Come on, Freddie, you little bugger." "Would you help me with my tie, sweetheart?" "Out, baby." "Get out." "Maria, we're gonna be late." "Freddie listened to me." "He just flew out the window." "How do you know it's a he?" "Because it bugs me, darling, so it must be a he." "How do I look?" "Do I have lipstick on my tooth?" "Honey, every time we come see your parents... you obsess over the way you look." "Is my dress, okay?" "Do I need to pull it down or anything?" "You look fine." "Did you hear me?" "Joseph, your tie is a mess." "Well, hello." "And how are the newlyweds?" " Hi, Dottie." " We've been married seven months." "Yes, dear." "Come on in." "Your father's in the living room." " Joseph, what are we..." " Surprise!" "I'd say she's excited." "What would you say, hmm?" "On a scale of one to ten, about a four." "Oh, my God!" " Martini time." " Yeah." "How are you?" "Oh, my gosh!" "Look at you!" "Why is it when we go to parties..." "I always have to track you down with a homing device?" "If you loved me, you'd get in that British fantasy of yours... and drive me to Vegas." "Okay, let's play "If you love me," shall we?" " Go on." "You start." " Okay." "If you loved me, you'd take me to Paris on our second honeymoon." "If you loved me, you wouldn't miss your appointments with Alfred." "You'd buy us a house in Briarwood... with a big pool and a little froufrou dog." "And you would stop rearranging my closets." "A baby girl... and an air-conditioned garage... for my 1974 Ferrari Daytona convertible." " I love you, Maria." " Shut up." "It's still my turn." "It can always be your turn, sweetheart." " Oh, baby, is that so?" " Mm-hmm." "It's your turn now." "Honey, that's enough." "Oh, we'll both know when it's enough, darling." "Joseph, even though I can't have an orgasm..." "I still enjoy making love to you." "Sometimes I wonder if he loves me." "I feel he always avoids me." "He never returns my calls." "His secretary, Connie, is always apologizing for him." "That's not true." " You're distorting things again." " Just let me finish, okay?" "Connie is embarrassed every time I call... because he won't pick up the phone." "She practically admits you're avoiding me." "She calls seven or eight times a day." " Seven or eight?" " Yes, you do!" "And you embarrass me... in front of my secretary and my associates." "Connie doesn't know how to handle her because... half the time you call, you're hysterical." "I just need to connect with you during the day, okay?" "Just once or twice." "Is that too much to ask?" "Just listen to her, Joseph." "Just listen to what she's saying." "You gotta be kidding me." "Why are you so afraid of being close?" "Why in the hell are you always focusing on me?" "I'm just tryin' to do my job, for Christ's sakes... and all we ever do in here is talk about her problems with me." "What I do, what I don't do, who I am or who I'm not... that she has an issue with." "I just..." "I can't handle it when he gets so angry." "Joseph, what is it you want?" "I want a good marriage... a supportive wife." "And I wanna work all these things out... so that we can have the baby that she wants so much." "Joseph, Maria's doing so much better the past few months." "She's standing up for herself." "It's wonderful." "I know." "But she's still very fragile with you at this point." "This kind of confrontation can't work." "You're right." "I know." "It's just that I feel like I have to stay on top of the situation... or it'll fall apart." "She'll fall apart." "Hello?" "Tanner!" "No." "No, I'll meet you at the site." "You got a sick patient here, Alfred." "I suggest we talk in private." "Come here, Alfred." "I have a few questions for you." "Joseph, what's going on here now?" "You're scaring me." "That's good, 'cause you know what?" "I'm not totally in control of myself right now." "Sit down, Alfred." "What does the name "Baltazar" mean to you?" "You're gonna tell me everything... and you're gonna start with this doctor." "Do you know him?" "Did you refer her to him?" "No, no." "I don't know him." "All I know is, he's a sex therapist that practices on the edge of the law." "They tried to shut him down, but nobody will testify against him." "Can you tell me why she does this?" "Forget the bullshit psycho-babble." "I need to understand!" "All I can tell you, Joseph, is that Maria exhibits most of the symptoms... of what is called a borderline personality." "By that I mean she has no real identity." "She has to look outside of herself for assurance, comfort, love." "She can find no sustenance within." " Shouldn't I have been told this?" " Oh, come on, Joseph." "You've witnessed this for years." "I mean, her heightened personality... her need for control at any cost... the fly obsession, the phone calls." "Joseph, you lived it." "You're the expert." "Most borderlines are incurable, Joseph." "They need to be totally reparented." "One of our construction sites is on Hinton Street." "I know about Baltazar." "It's not what you think." "Oh, really?" "What is it then?" "Do you come with Baltazar?" "Is that why you go?" " To learn how to come?" " It's not about that." "Then what is it about?" "You know what?" "You're a lie!" "Our whole marriage is a lie." " Fuck you." " You wanna tell me why?" "I don't feel very close to you right now." "You don't feel very close to me right now?" "You're paying some guy to fuck you... and you don't feel very close to me right now?" " I'm your husband, for Christ's sakes..." " I don't care who you are." "The door is open." "Come in." "Sit down." " Listen..." " Ah, you must beJoseph." "I've been expecting you." "Maria's husband." "She's a very special woman." "Look, I don't know who you are or what you think you do... but I need you to do me a kind favor and stay away from my wife." " She's not a well woman." " I agree." "That's why she came to see me." "Someone would have to be very disturbed to come here seeking health." "You don't understand, my friend." "You understand this, Dr. Fuck!" "You stay away from my wife, okay?" "I know what goes on in here, 'cause I was here." "And it wasn't love or therapy." "It wasn't even sex!" "It was sadistic abuse." "I hope I've made myself clear." "It's over." "Now." "Cup of tea?" "I'm a therapist, Joseph." "There's a reason for everything I do." "Acting out her abuse fantasy is what enables Maria... to get past the guilt and anxiety of being intimate." "If we don't express these fantasies, they run our lives insidiously." "When she stops asking for abuse, her need for it will be gone." "This is insane." "It's insane." "I'm sitting here having tea with the doctor who's fucking my wife... and trying to convince me that it's good for her." "Don't you get it, man?" "She needs medical help." "Maria's been in traditional therapy for seven years." "Three therapists." "Which therapy do you think will work at this point?" "Do you know what a borderline personality is?" "They told you there was no cure, and they were right." "There is no psychoanalytic cure." "The mind..." "cannot change the mind." "Real change is not a mental process." "Let me guess." "You think sex... your sex, in particular..." "will heal Maria, is that it?" "Yes and no." "I hold no dominion over my teachings." "I only know they work." "But, yes, conscious sex that achieves bliss... is the greatest healer there is." "So the way to heal the woman is to fuck her?" "No." "Conscious sex, physically and emotionally integrated... is one way to heal a human being." "Ecstasy heals the unconscious." "A woman can heal a man as well." "Well, I hope you don't mind, Doctor... but I'm gonna try some other approaches at this point." "I know you love Maria, Joseph." "I'm not here to take that away from you." "Just don't make me take this any further." "I am not the enemy." "I don't know what you are." "Oh, hi, sweetheart." "I'm almost done with the kitchen." " What are you doin'?" " What does it look like I'm doing?" "The entire house is infested with bugs." "First I spray with the Raid to kill any eggs, and then I seal." "Maria, we discussed the fact that flies do not lay eggs in the house." "Ants, Joseph." "Ants!" "The wastebasket was full of them this morning." "Maria, we've gotta talk." "Okay." "Just let me finish the kitchen first." "And if you wanna help, you can start cleaning the bathroom." "Just go through your drawers, okay?" "Hi." "What time is it?" "It's 5:45 a.m. You busy?" "No." "No." "Of course not." "Well, I guess we'll have some breakfast." "Maria's gettin' worse." "I'm sure she's very frightened." "Therapy isn't working." "I want you to teach me what you do." "You want to learn from me?" "I wanna learn how to heal my wife." "That's not possible." "You fascinate me." "First you want to destroy me." "Now you want to become my acolyte." "Do you play a musical instrument?" "No." "Do you think you have the ability to put aside your rage and listen?" "Look, the rage is gone, okay?" "The only thing that's important to me now is helping Maria." "If I agree to help you... you must understand it means precisely that." "I'm helping you." "Maria has her own path." "I understand." " I'm not sure you do." " And you have to promise me... that you'll never see Maria again." "Ah!" "Is that what you're really doing here, Joseph?" " Preventing me seeing your wife?" " Do we have a deal or not?" "I doubt the rage is gone." "But we can put it to good use." "And I agree with you." "As I teach you the ways of love... it would not be my place to see Maria." "I saw you at the symphony the other night." " I followed you there." " I'm the substitute." "I'd like to play more, but I don't have the time to devote myself." "So, we have a deal." "You can choose to leave at any time, and I may ask you to leave." "But the work and our relationship must remain strictly confidential." "Do you really love Maria that much?" "Too bad for you." "Okay, describe to me how you make love to a woman." "And tell me, in detail, when and how you make love." "Well... one of us starts kissing the other one... usually at night before we go to bed." " Then I kiss her breasts for a while." " How?" "How?" "I kiss." "I suck... twirl my tongue." "How does it feel?" "Aroused." "Like I want her." "Then... kiss her tummy for a while." "Turn her over sometimes and kiss her bottom." " I like to do that." " How does she feel?" "I don't know." "Then I usually kiss her down there for a while." "Down there?" "You mean, her vagina?" "Yeah?" " Go on." " And..." "Sometimes, I use my fingers." "I..." "So I can hold her while we..." "You know." "Then I get inside her... and we make love... like normal, I guess." "Anything else?" "Sometimes she cries." "Does Maria ever have an orgasm?" "No, I guess not." " Not with me anyway." " Not with anyone, Joseph." "Maria is frigid." " Do you make love to yourself?" " Hmm?" " Do you masturbate?" " No." "No." "Not..." "Rarely when I'm in a relationship." "Well, we'll have to change that." "How can you make love to someone else... if you can't make love to yourself?" "So, Joseph, what are you doing to help Maria?" "Well, I do what I can, you know." "I try to make her go to therapy..." "Only do what I say." "I don't want you to make love to her until I say otherwise." "I want you to hold her and talk to her in bed... about intimate things... the most intimate feelings you're having." "When you sleep, spoon her." "Right side to the bed." "We call this the nurturing position." "Come on in, Joseph." "Go into the room on your left... and take off all your clothes except your shorts." "Naw, forget it." "Come and stand over here." "I want you to look in the mirror and tell me what you see." "Tell me about your body." "You're jokin', right?" "Okay then." "Is this as far as we go?" "I guess I'm a bit too thin." "My legs are definitely too skinny." "I don't know." "It's fine." "Why?" "Well, you stand as if you don't like your body." "I like your body." "It's lean... strong." "Capable hands, well-defined feet." "Of course, you could change it if you wanted... but it's better to change how you feel about it." "Anyone that doesn't totally accept their body... can never experience ecstasy... can never enable another to experience it." "What do you think about your penis?" "Well, to be honest, I like it." "It's..." "large and powerful." "Good." "I want you to feel that way." "I'm sure it's true." "Later on, I can give you some exercises... to further increase its size." "Good for you." "Good for Maria." "Now, every night before you go to sleep..." "I want you to practice what I call..." ""the bliss" carezza."" "Barely touching Maria... tenderly stroke her body from head to toe with your hand." "We are sensitizing her body... awakening her ecstatic responses." "Then, her hand on you." "Imagine life energy... flowing through her hands." "Feel the electricity." "I promised Joseph I wouldn't come here." "I don't want to hurt him... or us." "It's just..." "Sometimes, I get scared." "Would you like to dance?" "I always wanted to be a ballroom dancer... you know, the kind that dons a tux every night and... dances the world." "Did you enjoy the dance?" "Yes." "As did I." "Very much." "And if you enjoy the dance, Maria..." "Then the dance is enough." "I promise." "Have a cigar." "They're very mild." " Oh, no." "No, thank you." " Have one anyway." "Most men fear women's power, Joseph." "A sexually conscious woman is as powerful as any being on the planet." "We are entering a new era." "It will be the resurgence of the divine feminine spirit." "We must honor that spirit... in ourselves... and in others." "You have to suck on it once in a while." "Otherwise, it goes out." "The goal of sex is not orgasm, Joseph... but ecstasy." "Maria's satisfaction will give you ecstasy." "Nothing else." "There are nine levels..." "movements, I call them... to a woman's orgasm." "Now, most lovers only achieve level four... the ultimate release... but it's just the threshold." "Between movements five and nine... is where true healing occurs." "To reach these movements... you must practice with diligence the exercises I give you." "One of their purposes... is to make orgasm and ejaculation a voluntary act." "I thought they were the same thing." "Most people do." "In truth, both orgasm and ejaculation are governed... by different neurological mechanisms." "You must learn to separate and control each at will." "What do you mean?" "The only way to really satisfy a woman and yourself... is to have control... complete control over your ejaculation." "Then you are no longer led around by your penis." "This has far-reaching implications in all areas of life... don't you think?" "Well, sir, are you saying that I'm never supposed to come?" "When you choose." "That way, you don't dissipate your life force." "Don't you feel tired after you've made love?" "I will teach you how to "injaculate..."" "so you can have many orgasms without losing your power." "Yes, I will teach you and Maria... a greater pleasure than you imagine possible." "Go on." "Let's see how you do." "I can go a lot further." "I just got some lungs in my water." "Okay, using your left hand, close your left nostril... and breathe in through your right nostril to a count of seven." "Then close both nostrils... and hold for a count of 14." "Open the left nostril... and breathe out through a count of seven." "Close the right nostril... and hold for a count of 14." "Keeping the left nostril open... breathe in to a count of seven." "Close both nostrils..." "Two, three, four, five." "Why would anybody wanna do this?" "Okay, Joseph, I'm ready to come down." "Joseph, come on." "No sex without condoms." "No booze, no drugs." "Now you tell me I can't even come?" "I know." "It's depressing, isn't it?" "Boy!" " Hey." " Hey." "I just have to run an errand." "I'll be right back." " Okay." " Done your exercises?" "Well, I tried, but..." "I don't know." "I just can't do it." "I can't just think of myself." "I need to fantasize." "Go to the white room, Joseph." "Try again." "Concentrate on your own sexual power." "Don't throw it away on fantasy." "You don't want me to take you through them, do you?" "Maria remains a mystery." "It's hard for me to determine the roots ofher sexual dysfunction... or the extent ofher childhood trauma." "There have, to date, been no repressed-memory flashes... or nightmares... yet she lives in a constant state of suppressed paranoia." "Maria is oddly protective ofJoseph." "He seems to be a good person... captured by Maria's intense passion... which often springs forth to surprise me at any moment... captured by her beauty and seductive charms... and, most likely, captured by his own need... to suck love from those who are too wounded to give it freely." "I know this man." "Finally." "Hera:" "Trials of the Goddess Obscura." "First published in 1908." "It's been out of print since 1932." "You have yet to let me down, Eva." "I find the combination of charm and intelligence... a rare union these days." "Maria will take time." "She is in the darkness before self-realization." "She needs to feel free... to express herself in ways she cannot with her husband." "She needs to be released from the burdens... ofher shame and self-hatred." "I will try." "How are the exercises going?" "Fine." "Everything's going fine." "I want you to do them three times a day." "Draw the energy up to the heart chakra... and then progress to the third eye, as we discussed." "I work all day." "Then I suggest you close your door." "Can you explain it to me?" "Well, Joseph, you know, the construction supervisor... is talking about chakras, reads books about Hinduism." "MyJoseph is talking about chakras." "I think thatJoseph's discovery that his relationship with you... is not what he thought it was has had a profound effect on him." "It's like... he has this inner life that I..." "What?" "Nothing." "I just had a bizarre thought." "Anyway... last night, we just... sat in bed and talked... sort of." "Tell me." "I can't." "I can't." "Okay." "He sat me down in front of a mirror... and he asked me to masturbate for him." "He wanted me to show him step-by-step... how I like to be touched." "He wanted to know how to please me." "How did that feel?" "I wouldn't do it at first." "I was too embarrassed." "Then he did it." "I learned so much about him by watching him... how he touched himself." "Then I did it." "Do you feel you got closer to an orgasm?" "Oh, God, no!" "I was far too self-conscious." "But this is good." "Before we end, though, Maria, I would like to encourage you... to return to therapy with a greater commitment." "I don't know." "I worry too much when I see you." " I try to control my thoughts." " We are what we think, Maria." "Life is learning to come to terms with our thoughts." "The terms of my thoughts are unreasonable, Alfred." "It's just as well I leave them alone." "Start by using your ring finger." "Start by using your ring finger." "Slip it in gently and curl it... so your fingertip is touching the ceiling of the yoni." "Go as deep as you can." "Then slide your finger down until you feel it." " How will I know?" " Most likely, she'll tell you." "She'll feel it if you don't." "When you find the sacred spot... never break eye contact with Maria." "Does it hurt?" " It's just sensitive." " Is it too much?" "It feels raw... almost like it's burning." "The first few times the sacred spot is touched... it can be frightening." "She may experience pain." "I'm scared, Joseph." "It's okay." "Just keep stroking." "The sensation will change." "Stay with me, okay?" " I love you." " I love you too." "Stay with her for only 30 seconds or so... and then slowly withdraw... but hold her very closely." "You are assuming the role of healer in this act, Joseph." "All Maria's abuse and psychic hurts... reside in this sacred spot." "It will take time to release them." "A bit late, aren't you, Joseph?" "I feel it, you know, what you've been talking about." "I've been doing the exercises, and I feel it." "Describe this feeling." "It's like this, you know, this sadness that I've been carrying around... has just, you know..." "It's lifted." "And I feel..." "I just feel the love." "I feel in love with myself." "So, what's on for today?" "Nothing's on for today, Joseph." "I have a very busy evening... a performance and a date." "You have a date?" "Indeed." "And so do you." "It's time for you and Maria to make love." "Now remember... make love from the heart... nowhere else." "Keep your eyes open... move extremely slowly... and, most importantly... with love and adoration." "What about the nine levels of orgasm?" "Later." "Don't concern yourself with orgasm." "For Maria, it will take much time." "For you, it's forbidden." "I feel the love." "I love myself." " I love myself." " Congratulations, buddy." "I love myself three times a day." "I feel the love." "Okay." "I'll talk to you later." "Bye." " Hello." " What's so funny?" "How did you know I was laughing?" "I just know." "I've been learning more... and more about you every day." "So I see." " When are you coming home?" " Soon." "When I do... do you wanna make love?" "I thought you wanted to wait." "I mean, are you sure you're ready?" "Under one condition." "What's that?" "We do it my way." "Hon, maybe we should just, you know, hold each other first." "Shut up." "Why are you doing this?" "'Cause I love your toes... and it excites me." "Don't move." " Hon!" " Huh?" "It hurts." "I love you so deep inside me, Joseph." "Oh, God, I feel you so..." "so deep inside." "Not so fast." " I'm not supposed to come." " Huh?" " I'm not supposed to..." " What?" " I'm not supposed to..." " I can't hear you." " Don't make me come." " Why?" "Too bad, motherfucker." "Did you like it?" "I guess she surprised us, huh?" "Yeah." "I felt..." "Scared?" "A woman's anger can be very scary." "Most don't feel they have the right to express it." "Maybe we should encourage Maria to vent hers more often." " In bed?" " Why not?" "Repressed anger... chokes us, closes us down." "Are you sure it was Maria's anger that scared you?" "What do you mean?" "How did it feel to be fucked?" "Out of control." "How did you feel?" "Fear." "I was over on Hinton Street the other day." "Does he make you feel safe?" "Does he love you no matter what?" "So do I." "Follow closely." "Let me into your subconscious." "Touch her like a harmonic... gently, yin... but sure, definitive." "It's nice, huh?" "Look at me." "Look at me." ""Now movements" f"ive to nine."" "Support her neck with your hand... precisely at the fourth and fifth "ce"rv"ical vertebrae."" "Begin your toning and breathe into her neck... through your hand." "Energy follows consciousness." "Are you okay?" "Hon?" "Hon!" "Honey?" "Yes, I'm Joseph." " Do you mind if my friends..." " Anyone you want." "Okay." "When Maria first arrived... her throat was almost swollen shut." "We injected the throat with a strong anti-inflammatory." "We also administered her a sedative so she would rest." "Now, to your knowledge... has anything like this ever happened before?" "Is she allergic to anything?" " Any medication she might have taken?" " Not that I know of." "What were you doing when this occurred?" "We were making love... and she started crying... and then she started choking." "She's been under a lot of abnormal stress lately." "She had a severe breakdown." "She had a body memory." "Maria has endured some form of repeated child abuse." "She shows almost all the external symptoms... but it's locked in her subconscious." "Now she can begin the road to recovery." "That's possible." "Her memory could've triggered a spontaneous regression to some incident." "Oral sex is one of the most common forms of infant abuse." "It's more about acceptance than forgiveness for me." "I got a letter a year later." "Now she denies that anything ever happened." "That's all." "My name is Maria... and I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse and incest." " Hey." " Hi." "It's Maria's mother on the phone." "Hello, Dottie?" "I support her, and I am doing as best as I can... as her husband in this situation... but does it really matter what I think?" "I realize that you think she's ill." "She is getting help." "Because I've seen her suffer." "Well, I'm sorry, too, Dottie." " Honey, it's the fifth time today you've taken..." " Leave me alone." "We have to talk about this, Maria." "I just needed a shower." "The other night, when you got up to go to the bathroom..." "I knew it was you... but what I saw was him standing there... naked... ready to come to my bed." "We need to separate, Joseph." "I know I'm going crazy." "You have to let me inside." "You have to let me try to help you." "I don't feel comfortable around you." " The things that you do frighten me." " Just tell me what I can do." "When you touch me, I feel numb." "I'm gonna sleep in the guest bedroom until you find another place to stay." "Living room, bar, kitchen..." "if you wanna call it that." "Closets." "Clean towels, fresh linens every other day." "Any questions?" "Not your most confident stride, Joseph." "Maria asked you to leave." "Listen, if you know everything that's gonna happen in my life... for the next two years, why don't you let me know... so I can plan my vacations and know when to put my house on the market." "Tell me what happened." "It's what Maria's going through." "What has to do with you... has to do with you." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You married a scarred and emotionally dysfunctional woman." "Has it ever occurred to you to ask yourself why?" "Why you put up with so much in return for so little?" "Because I'm in love with her, okay?" "And because I believed in you." "I believed that we could help her!" "Our relationship has never been about Maria." "Never." "You don't love Maria, Joseph." "You want to mold her." "You want to make her something forJoseph." "And you've only ever proven to me... that you'd do anything to make that happen." "What do you know about love?" "Huh?" "Love is being there when they hate your fucking guts!" "Love is being there when they bleed." "Have you ever been with a woman for more than one hour?" "Ever?" "Wendy takes small steps every day to make herself attractive." "She eats." "Then she eliminates through the esophagus, mind you." "That's when she's not taking the latest laxative on the market." "A beautiful woman, Leslie." "God made her 5'5" and a voluptuous 128 pounds." "But sometime, probably when she was a teenager... she got the idea that she wasn't so beautiful." "Maybe it was because her friends, Debbie and Connie... were getting all the boys." "But she started a program of repetitive surgery... to suck all the fat from her body." "She started with her hips, her thighs, her tummy." "Next month, unless we do something to help her... she'll continue with her arms and her ankles." "They always do." "Candy's had four implants." "She just can't get it quite right." "Evelyn injects her face with cow fat six times a year." "Jane:" "Two hours on the StairMaster... an hour on a treadmill, daily." "They dress to flaunt this, to hide that." "They cover their faces with poisons." "You're right." "They do bleed, Joseph." "And do you know why?" "Because they're desperate to sell what men buy." "Desperate to be what they're not, to be loved." "Like Maria." "Have you ever thought that maybe your focus on Maria... is a distraction from your own fear of abandonment?" "Your own emptiness?" "Your own life?" "You want to be a healer?" "Heal yourself." "This'll be painless." "I promise." " You're a deceptive asshole." " All you gotta do is meet her." "She just got divorced." "She was married for two years." "You guys got a lot in common." "Now she's a little bit flat upstairs... but Nancy tells me she has a bodacious ass... and is not afraid to use it." "Tanner, do me a favor, okay?" "Never talk to me about a woman like that again." "What is wrong with you?" "Joseph, are you with me?" "Hmm?" "Yeah." "Sorry." "Okay." "Arthur wants you to take a meeting with the Kensor group." "Will you do it?" "No." "You know what?" "Cancel my 2:30 meeting with Cruise, too, would you?" " Where you going?" " Goin' out for a while." "Hello?" "Yes, Doctor." "No." "No, I'll be there." "3:00 Tuesday?" "Yes, ma'am." "Yes, I understand." "They don't want to be alone in their healing anymore." "They want you to understand, to be aware... and to hear them." "Beyond that, there are no expectations." "Are there any questions?" "Okay." "Who would like to go first?" "I would." "My name is Maria... and my husband is Joseph." "From the time I was a baby... until I was about ten years old..." "I loved my father more than anything else." "Nobody could say anything bad about him to me." "The world loved him too." "I have recently remembered a lot of things." "I remembered that my father's favorite thing... was to kiss my vagina when I was a baby." "I remember I'd wake up in the middle of the night sucking his penis." "I didn't even know what it was." "My mother went away on a trip when I was five years old." "This was the first time he put his penis in me." "I bled for days." "He told me that's what daddies and little girls do... that it was our secret." "He made me believe that every father did that with their daughter." "So I believed him... and I became that." "And I enjoyed it too." "It seemed to stop when I was about 11 or 12." "I don't know why... but I still loved him." "I had no choice." "I became the woman that my father wanted me to be." "I dressed how he told me to dress." "I presented myself as a happy, bubbly girl." "Still do." "It's the way that I block the feelings." "It's the way that I block the pain." "I know I've been away a long time." "I had to confront my self-hatred... and I am terrified of you... but it's because you make me feel so good... like my father did." "My father, who was supposed to keep me safe from harm, was the harm." "Can you understand?" "Do you?" "Look at the courage she has." "So many people go the other way, live as victims." "They use their abuse as an excuse to close down, to give in to life." "How do you let it go?" "You look it straight in the eye... and risk letting someone love you." "Maria did that today." "She's gonna be a different woman when she gets through this." "Yes." "You know, it's not good for you to have so many orgasms." "You need to learn to preserve your yang... and prolong your sexual activity." "Good for you." "Good for your wife." " Okay." "Thanks." " Sure." "I know." "I feel the same." "Yeah." "That sounds good." "Okay." "Right." "Yeah." " Hi." " Hi." "Do you want to have a seat?" "Sure." "Do you want to play "If you love me"?" "Okay." "Okay." "If you love me... you'll understand that I needed time... to separate you from my abuse." "I still wake up every morning with my memories... my nightmares... but I'm facing them." "I can't help feeling ugly... and ashamed." "If you love me... let me come home." " Hi." " Hi." "I'm Eva." "Are you here for a violin lesson?" "No..." "Yes." "Yes, yes, I am." "I think I've got the wrong time, so I'd probably better just..." "Eva, this is Joseph." "We met." "Bye, lover." "I'll see you Friday... unless you want to drop by the library." "Good night, Joseph." " Client?" " No." "That's the healing room." "This is my bedroom." "A violin lesson, huh?" "Yes..." "No." "I haven't exactly told her what I do." "I..." "I need a bit more time." "Isn't she glorious?" "And you don't have to heal her?" "Do you..." "Do you ever smell her fragrance when she's nowhere around?" "And do you..." "Do you know what she's thinking before she even begins to tell you?" "Do you dread all the moments in between?" "Too bad for you."