"Why can't I ever just let myself properly enjoy things?" "Why can't I ever just be in the moment, you know?" "I know today is brilliant, it's sunny, we're in the First World, we just ordered a $19 sundae - you know, delicious - but all I can think about is my rubbish face and obsessing." "I mean, it's just I'm turning 21 soon and this is as good as my face is ever going to get." "This is it." "It's all downhill from here." "I was hoping puberty would do a better job, but, no." "Puberty did a good job with you." "You used to be really awkward to look at." "Incredible." "Clap." "Don't you think this is incredible?" "What an incredible sundae." "Isn't it just mind-blowing to think we actually get to eat this?" "Josh, I want to talk to you about something." "Oh." "No." "No." "No, you don't." "I think we should break up." "Oh." "Oh, that's bad." "I just..." "I kind of feel like we've drifted, you know?" "This isn't good at all." "Also, you're gay." "What?" "N..." "No, I'm..." "No, I'm not." "Josh, you're probably gay." "I'm not." "I mean, we could still be friends, if you like." "It wouldn't really be that different, would it?" "This $19 sundae's suddenly pretty fucking humiliating." "Tom." "Hey." "Workplace sexual harassment, here we go." "Workplace sexual harassment!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "You don't work here." "This isn't workplace sexual harassment." "It's just normal sexual harassment." "What are you doing?" "I'm on my break." "Tom, are you Googling giraffes again?" "Yes.Why are you always Googling giraffes?" "I'm not always Googling giraffes - it's just, last time you came in, I was Googling giraffes and I happen to be Googling giraffes again today." "I hate that you think you have some special affinity with giraffes." "I don't!" "I imagine it's because you think that you kind of look like one, but... but less graceful." "Giraffes aren't graceful." "I think they are." "I think they're surprisingly graceful." "No, they're not." "Have you seen one pick something off the floor?" "I guess you'd know with all your special research." "Claire said she broke up with you." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yep, yep, yep." "Yeah." "Also, I cut myself shaving and, uh, you won't shut up about giraffes." "So that's three pieces of bad news in one day." "I've decided I am going to break up with Niamh." "Why do you do this to me, Tom?" "We both know you're not going to." "I don't know why you lie to me." "You get my little hopes up." "Whenever I try, something gets in the way." "I think you put things in the way 'cause you're scared of her, scared of what she'll do." "Last time I was about to, and her turtle died." "Of course she owns a fucking turtle!" "Owned." "Hi." "Ooh." "Josh, this is Geoffrey." "Hi." "Geoffrey just started." "Think you might be in my chair." "Ooh." "Shit." "Sorry." "Uh..." "Are you OK?" "Yeah, sorry, I didn't wanna..." "No, I don't want to put this on you, man." "It's Niamh." "I have to get it." "Oh." "Sorry." "Hey, sweetheart." "Yes?" "They kicked you out." "What did you do?" "My dad got arrested again." "Oh." "Oh, no." "Sh-should I ask you what for, or should we... should we..." "we should not mention it?" "Not mention it." "OK." "It does - it sounds pretty racist." "I just don't know who to talk to." "Tom keeps lollies in here." "Do you like lollies?" "As kind of..." "Honestly, it's the best I've got to offer." "Pop Rocks?" "I love Pop Rocks." "Do ya?" "No, you can't." "Josh just broke up with Claire, he's all upset." "He's a mess." "No." "Fine." "Niamh's coming over for dinner." "What, no..." "Tom, you said you were gonna break up with her." "They kicked her out of her poetry group." "She got kicked out of a poetry group?" "She's upset." "Tom, no, that's no excuse." "You have to do this." "You can do this." "Come on." "OK." "I'll break up with her tonight." "Are you eating my Pop Rocks?" "No." "Can I come to dinner?" "Do you know what I think about a lot?" "What?" "The time that you were telling me when you were a kid and you were naked in the backyard at your friend's house and his mum told you that if you do that, then a magpie might mistake your penis for a worm and eat it." "You think about that a lot?" "It just..." "I just think it's a funny image." "A tiny version of you terrified that a magpie might... swoop down and eat your penis." "Nobody..." "I had a pet magpie for a while." "Mm." "It used to come to the back door every morning and we'd give him our leftovers." "Did it ever try and eat your penis?" "No." "Hey." "Hey, guys." "Hi, Niamh." "This is Geoffrey." "Hey." "Hi, Niamh." "Josh, uh, Tom told me about how Claire broke up with you." "Yes." "What happened?" "Um... she said we drifted." "Oh, that's disappointing." "You know, I really liked Claire." "Really?" "You never..." "How'd you let it drift?" "Well, I don't know, Niamh." "You see, that's the nature of drifting, is that it happens slowly over time, and then one day you order a $19 sundae and it's finished." "Right." "How did you get kicked out of your poetry group?" "You think this is funny, don't you?" "No." "It's just, Claire's probably at home, crying, and you're here having a dinner party." "Niamh, I don't think she's crying." "OK?" "She broke up with me." "It was a surprise." "I didn't know." "If I had known, maybe I would have planned a more mournful evening." "I'm sorry." "Well, isn't that just charming?" "Niamh, can you just...?" "Oh!" "I'm sorry, Tom, am I embarrassing you?" "Again?" "Maybe we could sort this out with indoor voices." "What the fuck?" "I don't even know who the fuck you are." "I'm-I'm Geoffrey, Tom's friend." "I'm so nice to you guys and you're all just such fucking bitches to me." "Oh, God." "Can we just take this into another room?" "I just, uh..." "I just can't imagine that they're having that much fun." "You know?" "So... what-what do you do?" "Uh, I'm..." "I'm studying a Bachelor of Creative Industries." "Really?" "Yep." "That's really interesting." "N..." "No." "I'm gay." "Oh, cool." "Yeah, I, um..." "I haven't told Tom." "Oh." "Why..." "Why's that?" "I just..." "I didn't want him thinking I was hitting on him." "I don't think anybody thinks that anyone is... hitting on Tom." "Can I sleep over?" "We don't really have anywhere." "Oh, well, you've got a pretty big bed." "I could just crash there." "Light." "Is this OK?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Mm." "Mm." "Do you... do you taste blood?" "What?" "Oh, there's a... a little mole on your lip that's bleeding." "I..." "I cut myself shaving." "What are we meant to do now?" "I don't know." "Should we just wait for me to stop bleeding?" "I might go to sleep." "We'll... try again in the morning?" "OK." "Do you, uh, do you prefer big spoon or little spoon?" "I don't know." "I don't really get the big spoon/little spoon thing." "Surely they'd be the same-sized spoons." "Different-sized spoons don't fit together like this." "Received at 11:13am." "Josh, it's your dad." "Don't worry, mate." "Mum's OK." "She's OK." "She's been moved to a ward." "Are you awake?" "Received at 10:15am." "Josh, uh, it's your dad." "Um..." "Oh, mate, where are you?" "Call me back." "Received at 9am." "Hey, Josh." "Uh, your dad called and he told me what happened." "I just..." "I hope that you're OK and if you need anything, please just let me know." "Received at 8:40am." "Fuck, Josh." "Fuck." "Mum." "Fuck." "G..." "Fuck." "Call me." "Josh, Geoffrey's in your room." "He isn't wearing a shirt." "Received at 8:09am." "Josh..." "lovey, I need some help." "Tom, I think I need you to drive me to the hospital." "What?" "I need you to drive me to the hospital." "Which hospital?" "I don't know." "Just get in the car." "What the hell happened last night?" "You've never left this much time between something happening and you telling me." "My mum took quite a bit of Panadol and drunk half a bottle of Baileys." "Baileys?" "Yep." "How do you even drink half a bottle of Baileys?" "I... just don't know." "Guess what else." "You made out with Geoffrey?" "I can never really trust when someone that good-looking is into me." "Do you know what I mean?" "I just don't get it." "If they're mediocre-looking," "I can sort of appreciate why their standards are so low." "When they're that pretty, I'm just like, 'Oh!" "'" "'What are you hiding?" "' You know?" "Claire was quite good-looking." "I really don't think she was that good-looking when we got together." "Puberty did well with her." "Just so I know, we're not talking about your mum because you're all, like, emotionally stunted, yeah?" "Yeah." "And we're just ignoring the fact that Geoffrey's a man?" "Yes." "When he kissed me, my lip started bleeding because I cut myself shaving, and then I bled actual blood into his actual mouth." "Ugh." "It's the third worst thing that's ever happened to me during sex." "You had actual sex?" "No." "Well, my lip was bleeding." "Are you sure you don't have feelings you want to share with me in some kind of talk?" "Yep." "It can be good to share your feelings." "Nope." "No." "Nah." "Josh." "Hi, Dad." "Hey, Alan." "I'm just gonna go and sit." "Do you know what happened?" "Yeah." "That Mum took a box of Panadol." "Yeah, you told me on the phone." "And drunk half a bottle of Baileys." "Yes, Dad, I know what happened." "Did you get a park OK?" "Yes." "I think Mum tried to kill herself." "You think?" "But why would she want to do that?" "I..." "I don't know." "It's probably my fault." "Look, it... it might be your fault, but I doubt it's your fault." "Did you tell her that I have a girlfriend?" "You've been divorced for a while." "I don't think it really matters." "But, no, I didn't." "Oh, um, when I couldn't get onto you, I called Claire." "Ohh." "Why?" "What?" "Oh, it's nothing, it's just, uh, we broke up yesterday." "Ohh." "It's fine." "Sorry, mate." "I didn't know." "No, it's fine." "Why'd she break up with you?" "I..." "I don't know." "She just wasn't happy with you?" "I guess not." "Oh." "Mum doesn't know I'm here." "OK." "Do you think she'd be uncomfortable if she knew I was here." "Yep." "Yes." "Yes, I do." "Hi." "How's it going?" "Hi, lovey." "How's Claire?" "Oh, yeah." "She's alright." "Oh..." "I'm sorry, lovey." "Hello." "Rose, is it?" "Mm-hm." "I just have a few questions." "Are you still vomiting?" "Yeah, a little." "No headache at all?" "A headache?" "She took quite a bit of Panadol." "Mm." "No headache?" "I've still got a little bit of a headache." "If you get a headache in the next few weeks," "I really think we should be calling the customer complaint line." "Sorry, I just have to get through these questions, then I can move on to other patients." "OK." "Do you think you could step outside for a moment?" "What?" "No." "This is my mum." "OK, well, can you just... shoosh?" "Yeah." "I can shoosh." "Perhaps you could pop out and get your mum a Turkish delight, Josh." "Alright." "Hi." "Claire." "Hi." "Sorry about your mum." "Oh." "Oh, yeah." "Mm." "Yeah." "Well, um, are you OK?" "Yeah." "No, yeah." "Sure." "You dumped me yesterday, yeah?" "Yeah." "OK." "I just..." "I thought that meant that I wouldn't be seeing you... so much." "Do you know what I mean?" "But I-I can see... you." "Yeah, but, uh, we said that we were gonna be friends, so I'm just here trying to be friendly, that's all." "OK." "I just thought maybe that you were just, like, saying that to sort of soften the blow." "So you're saying you don't want to be friends?" "Yeah." "I want to." "I just..." "There's another thing also, um, to that..." "I made out with a boy." "I know." "Male boy." "I know, yeah." "OK." "I don't understand, though, why would you do it on the same day that we break up?" "I didn't mean to." "I promise." "I honestly just..." "He was just there." "Do you know what I mean?" "There?" "Yeah, he was..." "He was really very there." "Is..." "Is that what you think of me?" "I was just... there." "No." "Come on." "You're being silly." "Obviously you were there." "You know, that's good, that's helpful for you to be there." "It's completely necessary, even." "But you weren't just..." "Anyway..." "I don't know." "I feel like you didn't even really enjoy having sex with me." "Oh, come on." "No." "Well, did you?" "I guess." "Y-Yes." "You guess?" "I mean, yes..." "No, you didn't!" "You're such a liar." "The answer is yes to the question." "Mm-mm!" "Sex with Claire!" "You're so frustrating." "I don't know why you wouldn't just tell me." "My mum attempted suicide today so I have a pretty good excuse to get out of this conversation, by the way." "I just want you to know that." "I understand Rose lives alone." "In a situation like this, we can't release the patient unless she has people around her keeping an eye on her." "Well..." "I-I can't move back in with her." "Can I?" "We're divorced." "I don't know your personal situation, but, no, that doesn't sound ideal." "Does this mean I'm gonna have to move back in with her?" "Well, no, in a circumstance like this, we would advise that she is transferred to a private facility." "A mental home?" "We don't call it that." "But..." "like, that's what it is." "Well, we don't call it that." "Aunty Peg could move in with her." "I don't think Mum actually likes her." "Ohh." "Why did she have to be so stupid?" "I can't be her carer." "I don't know how to do caring." "I don't even know how to care for myself." "I never floss." "Sorry this took so long." "Thanks, lovey." "So... what have you guys decided to do with me?" "Um... we haven't... decided." "But the doctor thinks we should put you in a mental home." "What, you think..." "Am I mental?" "I don't know." "So, what are the other options?" "Well, someone needs to live with you, so that could be... me, I guess, or Aunty Peg." "Ah, no." "No." "Don't make me move back in with her." "I couldn't bear it." "OK." "And you shouldn't have to live with me either, Josh." "I shouldn't be your problem." "Well, I mean, I-I..." "I haven't decided." "I'm not sure I can move out on Tom." "No, but, you see, you could do all the same sorts of things at my place as you do at Tom's." "It's OK." "I'm cool with that." "Mum, you don't have to..." "I haven't decided." "I'll think about it." "But, you see, you could bring Claire home to sleep over if you want." "What?" "I'm cool." "OK?" "Like, you can have sex in the house if you want." "Oh, fuck, Mum." "No, please don't swear, Josh." "Also... uh, Claire and I broke up." "What?" "Who broke up with who?" "She broke up with me." "Oh, well, look, even if you want casual girls..." "I'm not having sex in the house." "I'm just saying you can if you want." "Well, I don't want to." "I especially don't want to with your permission." "I am just saying." "OK?" "Well, don't." "OK." "I won't." "What did I do with the parking ticket?" "Mae..." "..how long have you been in the car?" "Your father told me to wait here for a moment." "That was six hours ago." "What are you talking about?" "I left you the keys and I just brought you a drink." "Mm." "Like a dog." "Josh, I'm sorry to hear about your mother." "Oh, yeah." "Thanks, Mae." "Mae, have you got the parking ticket?" "No." "You took it." "Your father thinks it is his fault." "Because of the divorce." "Well, clearly it is." "Oh, yes, of course it is." "If you break up with someone, where's the point for them in living?" "They may as well end it." "I mean, they have experienced perfect love and they will never find happiness again, so they may as well end it because you are so perfect." "It's not like that." "Alan, I promise you, no-one is attempting suicide because a fat man like you dumped them." "Yes, well..." "She has a mental disorder." "Yes, I understand that, Mae." "But I do think that..." "Dad, I think she's right." "I don't know if you've seen your face lately." "It's like a scrotum." "♪ $haniqua, ain't nobody gonna mess with you... ♪" "Hi, Tom." "Hi." "Hey, $haniqua." "How's it going?" "Oh, yeah." "Big day." "I have had a big day." "Hi." "Oh." "You're back." "He never left." "Yeah, I wanted to help out, so I cleaned the house and I made dinner." "He made spaghetti." "You love spaghetti." "I really do love spaghetti." "Anyway, I'd best be off." "Oh, you're not..." "You're not gonna stay and eat spaghetti?" "No, I promised my dad I'd visit him, so..." "OK." "Thanks for all the... stuff." "Why doesn't Niamh ever do that?" "What, make you dinner and then not make you talk to her while you eat it?" "Yeah." "You could just... break up with her and then go to a restaurant." "Mm." "How's your mum?" "Oh, yeah." "Tom..." "I just..." "I just really think I have to move back in with her." "Wow." "That is very nice of you." "Yeah." "I'm a modern-day hero." "'Hero' is a strong word." "No." "I'm almost definitely gonna be Young Australian of the Year for this." "More like Young Dickface of the Year." "Brilliant." "That's clever." "That's really good." "Look, Mae, um, I'm gonna have to drop you here for a bit." "Where?" "Oh." "Fine." "Yeah." "It's just that Rose doesn't know about you yet and I really don't think this is the way for her to find out." "OK, I understand." "I know this is annoying." "I'm really sorry." "It's fine." "But I won't take long." "I promise." "I promise." "I just want to make sure that you're OK." "Yes." "It's OK." "I get it." "OK." "I don't know why you aren't hearing me when I say it is OK." "You just keep hearing your own voice going on and on and ignore what I'm saying." "I just want to make sure that you're OK." "Come on, Ma." "You've got to get up." "Here we go." "Up you get." "Hey?" "Let's go." "Carpe diem." "Seize the day." "It's time to get up." "Come on." "Going to the psychiatrist." "Joshua!" "Here we go." "Come on." "No!" "You don't want to do that, trust me." "You know I'll do it." "Don't." "Just get up." "Come on." "Don't..." "Ohh!" "Jesus fuckin' Christ, Joshua!" "Psychiatrist!" "Won't be long." "Mm-hm." "I made you some, uh," "'Hey, you aren't in hospital anymore' celebration French toast." "Oh, that's very sweet of you." "Oh." "That's Dad, I think, with some of my stuff." "Do you, um... do you want to see him?" "No." "OK." "Hi." "Hi." "There's more in the car." "Is, uh, is your mum home?" "Yeah, of course." "Should I say hello?" "No." "She's... she's asleep." "She's asleep?" "Yeah." "Josh, she shouldn't be asleep." "You need to get her up, doing things." "She'll just get more depressed if she's asleep." "She's fine." "What she needs is some kind of hobby, like, you know, crochet or something." "Crochet?" "Yeah." "I don't think knitting is gonna make her less depressed." "I know, but she needs to get out of the house." "She needs to exercise." "What if she picked up the local paper round." "What the hell are you talking about?" "Well, the local paper route, deliver the paper." "I think it's a good idea." "Then she'd be committed to getting up every day and going for a walk." "That is a stupid idea." "Plus, she'd make extra money." "What do you mean?" "What's wrong with that?" "She's mentally ill, not saving up for a Game Boy." "How about some sort of team thing, you know?" "Like where she can make friends and meet people and, you know, like indoor cricket or something." "Have you ever actually met Mum?" "She doesn't play indoor cricket." "Well, it was just an idea, Josh." "There actually wasn't much stuff." "Yeah." "I told you you didn't need to go and pick it up." "I, um, I got some coathangers for you because it looked like you didn't pack any, so..." "I think Mum has coathangers." "Alright, let's get this stuff to your room and wake up your mother." "Oh, no." "Uh..." "I lied to you." "She's awake." "But she just said she was too tired to want to see you." "Thanks for picking up my stuff." "OK." "Come on, John." "Oh, God..." "You OK?" "I'm fine." "I just..." "I hate coming here." "It's so humiliating." "What if someone sees me?" "No-one's gonna see you, Ma." "Alright?" "If they do see you, they're probably mental too, so that's nice - you can... you can bond." "Josh, I just don't need to be here." "You don't need to go to the psychiatrist?" "No." "Well... you do." "Oh." "I made one mistake." "You just started crying in an elevator." "We need to go in." "Haven't they got this already?" "Who's your next of kin?" "You are." "No." "I can't be YOUR next of kin." "Mm." "Your MY next of kin." "I'm the child." "Oh, well, I can't very well ask Aunt Peggy, can I?" "She's alright." "She hasn't even called me since the thing." "Wow." "Dad?" "Oh, my God." "I'm your next of kin." "Yes." "I'm responsible for you in case of emergency." "Yes." "That's not very encouraging for you, now, is it?" "I'll be fine." "Rose." "Come with me, please." "Here you are." "Love you." "Bye." "Hi." "Hi." "It's your dad." "Hi." "How'd it go?" "She's still there." "What..." "You didn't go in with her?" "To a psychiatrist appointment?" "No." "No, I didn't." "Well, should you have?" "I don't think so." "Oh." "So when will you be done?" "I don't know, about an hour." "Right, OK, call me in an hour." "OK." "Bye." "Hi." "What are you doing?" "Hello." "I've been thinking a lot today." "Yes." "And I really think I could date a disabled person." "Oh, no." "I really think I could." "I'm pretty proud of myself." "Tom, I think the fact you're proud of yourself is a fairly strong indication you're not cut out for it." "I think it's probably pretty offensive." "No..." "I'm saying I would." "How is that offensive?" "You're saying it like you're a hero." "Well, would you?" "No." "I-I don't think I could." "But..." "No, I just think I'm too selfish." "Surely that's more offensive." "No, I think it's just honest." "Why is your honesty not offensive and mine is?" "Because you brought it up." "OK?" "Geoffrey." "Hey, babe." "Hi." "'Babe'." "Tom thinks he could date a disabled person." "Do you think you could date a disabled person?" "My uncle's disabled and he's a dick, so..." "Yeah, but what if they weren't a dick?" "What if they were, like, really charming?" "Would you date your disabled uncle if he was very charming?" "No." "What the fuck, Tom?" "I wouldn't date my uncle." "What are you doing here?" "Uh, my mum's at the doctor's so I thought I'd come and say hi." "What are you doing tonight?" "Nothing." "Never anything." "Let's have dinner." "OK." "Yeah." "Sure." "Where do you want to go?" "I don't mind." "Vietnamese?" "No, I don't eat weird shit." "Of course." "Um... cafe?" "Pizza?" "We could get pizza or something?" "Yeah." "Yep." "OK." "OK." "Josh, do you think that we should talk about sex with men?" "No." "I don't think we should." "I don't like talking about it." "I don't like thinking about it." "Nuh-uh." "No way." "I just don't want you to think that you can't talk to me about gay stuff." "I can talk about gay things." "Tom, I..." "I know I can talk to you about gay things." "The other day you accidentally referred to Hairspray as 'our movie'." "I'm just saying, I saw the way Geoffrey looked at you right now and I reckon..." "No." "Tom." "I don't want to think..." "Stop..." "Stop it." "I'm scared." "I'm scared." "I've been doing some Googling." "Yeah, of course." "I've been doing Googling too." "OK?" "And the more I learn, the less I like." "I just want to make sure that you are emotionally prepared." "I'm emotionally prepared." "Do you think that he is going to want to put something in your bum?" "No." "Surely not tonight." "I mean..." "Niamh touched my bum in the bath once." "It hurt." "God, I just..." "I just really think I'm gonna miss vaginae." "They just..." "They make so much sense, Tom." "You know?" "So nifty." "When are you gonna break up with Niamh?" "I don't know." "Maybe I shouldn't." "I know that I'll just end up lonely and dating whoever again." "And... she's alright." "She's kind of like the best whoever." "She's not the best whoever." "You could date any girl in this office, and they would be better - any of them." "She has something I like." "Tom, she lit your passport on fire." "Yeah, she didn't want me to leave." "It was romantic." "Tom." "OK." "Hi." "Hi." "It's your dad." "What did he say?" "He said that she can't be left alone." "Why?" "Uh... he thinks she might reattempt." "That... doesn't sound like good news, Josh." "No." "No, it doesn't." "Why does he think that?" "I don't know." "I was gonna go out tonight, as well." "Oh." "Well, do you want me to come over while you go out?" "No, I don't..." "I don't think spending time with you will help her." "OK." "Well, ask Aunty Peg." "No, that's... that's a bad idea." "I'll just, um..." "I'll sort it out, OK?" "Oh." "I'm getting another call." "I gotta go." "Who from?" "Geoffrey." "It's not important." "Put me on hold." "Alright." "Fine." "Hey." "So how are you getting to dinner tonight?" "Oh, God, Geoffrey..." "I don't think I can do tonight." "My mum's psychiatrist said that I have to stay home and look after her." "Oh, OK, that's a shame." "Yeah, apparently she can't be alone and I'm all she's got." "For how long?" "I don't know." "Maybe, like, a month or two." "I can't see you for a month or two?" "No." "I'm sure..." "I..." "I don't know." "OK, well, is this just, like, an elaborate way of ditching me?" "No, not at all, I promise." "I just..." "Um, OK, I'll try and fix it, OK?" "OK, bye." "Kisses." "Hi." "I gotta go." "OK." "Hey." "Hello." "I have nothing to do." "Normally I'd come over and see Josh, but now I have nothing to do." "Oh." "That's a bit depressing." "What are you doing tonight?" "I'm literally so bored I'll even play Nintendo." "Tonight, Claire, I am breaking up with Niamh." "Shut up." "I am!" "I'm gonna do it." "It's just hard, you know, and how much it's gonna hurt." "But..." "I can do it." "I will do it." "Tonight." "Oh." "Well, I could always come by after that." "Sometimes I feel like you and Josh disregard my feelings." "Do you know where my orange cardigan is?" "I can't find my orange cardigan." "Haven't seen it." "I thought I left it in the bathroom." "Just wear another one." "No, I just..." "I only own blue jumpers." "I don't know why I only own blue jumpers." "Sometimes I want to wear blue pants." "It looks stupid if you wear blue jumpers with blue pants." "Look at you, you're so flust..." "Are you going out on a date?" "No." "I'm just going out with friends." "Who with?" "Friends." "Just... new friends." "Well, what are their names?" "I don't know." "You don't know their names?" "Can't I just go out without telling you where I'm going?" "Yes." "Good." "Oh, hello, John." "Well, here I am, come to look after your mother, like I don't have better things to do." "Hi, Aunty Peg." "You look nice." "Oh, thanks." "Ma, Peg's here." "Well, my girl." "You gonna say something, or just stand there like a zombie?" "Hi." "I'd love a cup of tea." "OK." "Josh, there's something I've been wanting to ask you." "OK." "And don't be immature about it." "How big are your testicles?" "What?" "What the hell?" "It's no big deal." "Just roughly, how big are they?" "Why do you want to know this?" "Why?" "Why, why, why do you always have to ask 'why'?" "Surely that's a good thing." "Surely it's good for me to ask 'why?" "'." "Now, surely you'd be a bit perturbed if I wasn't asking you 'why?" "'." "If you were going to compare them to fruit - big grapes, kiwi fruit, a walnut?" "I'm not answering." "It's just that I had been watching this documentary on Klinefelter's disorder." "Oh, no." "No, you haven't." "Sometimes it's known as XXY syndrome." "You know how boys have an XY chromosome and girls have XX." "Yes." "Yes, I know." "Boys with this disorder have XXY." "I'm fairly confident I have the right amount of chromosomes." "It's nothing to be ashamed of." "It's quite common." "And you do have some of the symptoms." "Am I really doing this badly at life that you think I have bonus chromosomes?" "Mum, does it feel like I have bonus chromosomes to you?" "You have a pear-shaped body, which isn't really right for a boy, now, is it?" "It's not that bad." "And man boobs and you're quite effeminate." "But the most obvious symptom is that your testicles do not develop in puberty." "So people who have this disorder have tiny, tiny testicles." "So that's why I asked you how big yours are, to check." "They're fine." "OK?" "I promise you." "Please believe me that they're fine." "And..." "How do you know?" "What are you comparing them to?" "I mean, how many testicles have you seen?" "Right!" "OK, that's it." "I'm out." "Ma, I'm taking your car." "Here's the keys." "Thanks." "Peg, you just... be nice." "OK?" "I am pretty hungry." "Oh." "Prosciutto." "How old are you?" "I'm 23." "Oh, OK." "I'm 20." "Really?" "Yeah." "I thought you were older." "Yeah, that's..." "that's because of my face." "Yeah, I'm..." "Yeah." "I look like a 50-year-old baby." "You know?" "No, I don't think so." "That was just a... just a joke." "Just a little joke." "Oh." "What are you, um..." "what are you thinking about ordering?" "Oh." "Actually, I don't think I'm gonna eat." "What?" "Yeah, I had a really big lunch." "Oh, OK." "Well, I guess..." "I guess I won't eat, either, then." "But you said before you were hungry." "Yes." "Yes, I am hungry." "So, eat something." "You're quite right." "Yes, I will eat." "What, is... is that weird?" "Should I eat, too?" "Uh, it's a..." "Yeah, it's a bit weird." "But that's OK." "You know." "If you're not hungry, it's fine." "Maybe I should eat." "Should I eat?" "I don't know." "That's a decision that you have to make based on how your tummy is feeling." "OK." "I won't eat." "I'm gonna get some water." "Do you want some..." "Do you want some water?" "No." "We need to talk." "OK." "It's just..." "Yeah?" "It's just..." "I don't know, I..." "I just don't like the way you've been treating me lately." "What do you mean?" "How have I been treating you?" "Well, I feel like you never listen, like you don't care." "I care." "Niamh, I care." "Well, you never stick up for me in front of your friends." "I do stick up for you." "You..." "You tease me, in front of them, like yesterday." "I wasn't teasing you." "I was just saying that people from Africa aren't African American - they're African." "Right." "Well..." "I'm-I'm just sick of sitting at home, just watching you play video games." "I mean, you're 21." "You're not 15 anymore." "You need to grow up." "You need to leave the house." "I do leave the house." "I left the house today." "Just..." "Hey, Mum." "Yep." "Yeah, no, I'm just with him now." "Mm-hm." "Yeah, no, I said that." "Yeah." "Yeah, OK." "OK, I've got to go." "OK." "OK, bye." "Do you see what I'm saying, Tom?" "I mean, you say you love me, but I..." "I just don't see it." "I mean, you really embarrass me and, you know," "I don't think I want to be with someone who makes me feel like that." "Would you?" "No." "What?" "No." "I wouldn't." "I won't do it again." "I'm sorry." "OK." "Good." "I love you." "Alright, hang on, I've just got to call Mum." "Hey." "Yeah." "Yeah, no, we spoke about it." "Yeah, he's better." "Mm-hm." "Yeah, no..." "Nah, he was fine." "He-He understood." "Yeah, well, he knew I was right." "Oh, yeah, totally." "Hi." "You do eat stuff like this, don't you?" "Hey, um, can I just call you back in a second?" "Claire." "W-What are you doing here?" "Oh, am I interrupting the...?" "No." "Uh... it's just that I'm, you know, kind of in the habit of popping over." "I guess it's kind of weird now that Josh and I have broken up, though, right?" "Just so alone." "So I got three waters." "I know you said you didn't want one but the cups are so small and I was just worried that one wouldn't be enough so I got myself two." "And then I was worried that if I brought two over that you would think I got you one, so I got three." "Even though you said you didn't want one." "So, can I have one?" "Yes." "Can't help but notice that you took the fullest one, even though you said you didn't want any water." "Um..." "I'm sorry." "You're right." "I..." "I didn't want any." "You have it." "Geoffrey, I was joking." "You can have as much water as you like." "Special treat." "Oh." "Ha." "Ah!" "Guys." "Didn't expect you to be here." "Niamh." "I told you I was hanging out with Niamh and Claire tonight." "Of course you did." "Claire, this is, um..." "Geoffrey." "I don't..." "I don't think you two have met." "But you're so pretty." "Yeah." "Incredible." "Are you Josh's ex-girlfriend?" "Oh, he's told me so many great things about you." "What?" "No, I haven't." "Oh." "Right." "Well, this is fun." "We're just gonna go hang out in my bedroom." "Good." "Good." "'Cause I'm just gonna stay here and watch Japanese manga with these two, so..." "Uh, actually, Claire, it's anime." "Manga's the books." "I've been wanting to do this all night." "Oh, OK." "Is everything OK?" "Yeah." "No." "Sure." "I just..." "I'm just worried about the others, listening." "Hey, what... what is this song?" "It's from Romeo And Juliet, the ballet." "It's intense, yeah?" "I hope the poor little guy's OK." "Just... uh..." "maybe we could turn the lights down?" "Just..." "Just a bit?" "That's my orange cardigan." "I've been looking for that all day." "I think I love you." "What?" "I love you." "Oh." "I..." "I love you, too?" "Ignore it." "I can't." "It might be my mum." "What?" "Whoa." "Oh, it's just, there's nothing like a call from your dad to make your erection... go away." "It's OK." "I'll make it come back." "Should get this one." "Ignore it." "Ohh..." "It's just..." "I think I need to p..." "I just think I need to pee." "OK?" "Shut up." "Come and sit down." "Are we..." "Are we OK?" "Is this..." "OK?" "Yes." "Do you not like me?" "No." "No, it's nothing like that." "I just..." "I just..." "I..." "I'm worried about..." "I don't want to put anything in my bum." "What?" "I said..." "I don't want to put anything in my... in my bum." "Oh." "Gosh, dude, we... we don't have to put anything in your.." "Oh, thank God." "I just..." "I really need to get that." "I'm sorry." "What?" "Mum's not answering the phone." "Well... maybe she just doesn't want to talk to you." "No, I called the home phone." "She wouldn't know it was me." "She's fine." "I'm out." "Aunty Peg's there." "Josh, I need you to go and check on them." "No, I'm..." "I'm not..." "No, I'm out." "OK, I'll go." "No, you can't go." "Why?" "You'll scare the shit out of her." "OK, fine." "I..." "I'll go." "I'm really sorry." "It's OK." "I'll come." "Are you alright?" "Yeah." "Just..." "You..." "You can't come into the house." "OK." "Why?" "Just..." "My aunty's there and she's really homophobic and she's Christian and I'm sorry." "That's a shame." "I... really wanted to meet them." "Sorry." "Geoffrey..." "Geoffrey, do you think my testicles are big enough?" "Yeah, they're..." "They're massive." "We're going to have some fun." "Tom gave me chlamydia once." "Say, what?" "This is Geoffrey." "Who's Geoffrey?" "I'm his boyfriend." "Surprise!" "Does your mother know about this?" "This is my Josh." "He is homosexual." "Relax, will you?" "Some fathers would punch you for this."