"Is Riley here?" "Red alert!" "Boy." "Boy." "Boy." "Boy." "Boy." "There's a boy in my house." "I knew she was going skating, but I thought it was with her friends." "Why is there a boy in my house?" "This isn't a date, is it?" "I'll ask Riley." "I don't like this." "This can't be a date!" "She's only 12!" "Let's probe, but layer it with cool words the kids say, so it's not obvious." "So, what's the dealio with Jordan?" "O" " M-G, he is awesome-sauce fo sheezy." "Did she just say "fo sheezy"?" "I don't understand." "What's happening?" "This is just embarrassing." "I can't." "I can't." "Holla!" "I know what you're doing here, Jordan." "You don't think that I know what you know, but I know, you little punk!" "He's not good enough for Riley." "No one is!" "Go back to jail!" "What are you looking for, Jordan?" "Something to steal?" " Like our daughter." " Should we say something?" "No, no, no." "He'll be expecting that." "Give him the silent treatment." "He's about to crack, I can feel it." "Whoa, dude!" "Awesome!" "Sir, no response." "Two can play at your mind games, Jordan." "Intimidate!" "Dude, what's he looking at?" "Probably your dumb hat." "Sir, intimidation is failing." "Increase the pressure." "Engage." "So, Jordan, what do you like to do for fun?" "I don't know." "Stuff." "Sir, that sounds like backtalk." "That's it!" "He's outta here!" "Give him the boot." "Yes, sir." "Launching boot." "On my mark." "In five, four, three..." "I play in a band." "That's fun." "Wait." "We were in a band." "I was in a band, lead guitar." "Cool." "I rock the bass." " We played a lot of AC/DC." " Yeah, my favorite band is AC/DC." "What." "Mom, it's not a date." "We're going skating with a group of friends." "Oh, fun." "That'll be off the hook." "L-O-L." "Stop talking like that!" "Wait." "Where's Jordan?" "Did you leave Jordan with Dad?" "Mom!" "This is so embarrassing." "Riley, your father would never do any..." "Yeah!" "Awesome." "Bye, Mom." "Bye, Dad." " Have fun." " Peace out, my homies." "You know, Jordan's a good kid." "You're not so bad yourself." "Sir, the wife has initiated contact." "What do we do?" "This is our chance." "Give her the look." "He's making that stupid face again." "Should we smack him?" "Come on." "He's adorable." "There's the signal." "We are go." "Repeat, we are go." "Contact in five, four, three, two..." "I'm good." "You guys good?" " Yeah." "I'm good." " Yeah, I'm good here." "Good." "Okay, that's enough." "Yeah." "I'll go fix the table."