"Please prepare to exit the ferry." "Attention on deck." "We are now arriving at Fire Island Pines." "Welcome to Fire Island, everybody." "Please take care exiting the boat." "Those steps can be wet." "Also double-check you have all your luggage..." "Have a good day." " Hey, Weeks." " Hey, honey." "How you doing?" "We're doing great." "Here we are." "What are you guys doing?" "Hairy is out." "Your turn, teddy bear." "Oh, no, I love my teddy." "Calvin Klein would not approve." "Baseball game is on and my summer has officially begun." "The thing is, he actually means it." " Hey, baby." " How are you?" " Cold beer?" " No, I've already had a couple." "Nice stripes, Lieutenant." "Hot." "Oh, please..." "Captain." "Just got back from the Reserves." "You know what they say, once a month I get to play a real man." "Oh, haven't seen you at the gym lately." "Bruce?" " Your turn, Bruce." " What?" "What?" "Brucey, please, don't embarrass our house at the beach, hon." "Uh-oh." "Gotta do it." "You know what they say, Ned." "If you can't beat 'em... join 'em." "That's my guy." "Craig was miserable when you weren't interested." "Now look." "He's got Robert Redford." "Shows you there is a God." " How's John?" " John?" " John." " John?" "Oh, John." "No, I'm with Gregory now." "We're celebrating our 15-month anniversary." "15?" "That's a long time for you, Mickey." "Oh, please, we're lovers and we live together." "It's not like we're faithful to each other, too." "He's not even Jewish." "Don't tell my rabbi." "My God." "He He Hey," "Why do you even come here anymore?" "We don't want you." "You made us look terrible in your novel." "Look around you." "Sex is liberating." "All I said was having so much sex makes finding love impossible." "Do not put your failure to find someone" " on the rest of us." " Neddy!" " Ow!" " Oh, jeez." "Oh, God." "Guys!" "Hey, what happened?" " You okay?" " I'm okay." "Just got a little lightheaded." "I got myself up." "I'm fine." "I just got a little dizzy." "He seemed okay." "♪ Happy bdadaday to you" "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" "♪ Happy birthday, dear Craig ♪" "♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪" "Blow!" "He's good at that." "I fucking love this place!" "♪ When we're up and dancing ♪" "♪ On the floor, darling ♪" "♪ And I feel like I need some more ♪" "♪ And I feel your body close to mine ♪" "♪ And I know my love, it's about that time ♪" "♪ Make me feel mighty real ♪" "♪ Make me feel mighty real... ♪" "Ned!" "Hey, Ned!" "Come on." "Please?" "♪ You make me feel" "♪ Mighty real." "I sold you a ceramic pig once at Maison France on Bleecker Street." "I'm Sanford." "Yes, I remember." "Somebody I was friends with then collected pigs and you had the biggest pig I'd ever seen outside a real pig." "They just keep getting bigger and won't go away." "I'm her 20th case." "And six of them are dead." "Hey, Ned." "Won't be a minute." "Hey, Buzzy." "I didn't know you worked here." "Who are you?" "Uh, Ned Weeks." "I spoke to you after the "Times" article." "Come in." "Take your clothes off." "I only came to ask some questions." "You are gay, aren't you?" "Yes." "Take your clothes off." "Don't be nervous." "I've seen more men than you have." "To answer all of your questions, I don't know." "I've never seen or heard of anything like this." "Have you had any of the symptoms?" "Most of the shit the "Times" said... amoebas, gonorrhea, hepatitis." "You don't know what it's been like since the sexual revolution." "What makes you think I don't?" "Any fever, night sweats, weight loss?" "Don't I wish." "No." "And purple lesions?" "Open your mouth." "It's a cancer." "There's a strange reaction in the immune system." "It's collapsed." "Won't fight." "So the diseases most of my patients are coming down with are brought on by germs that wouldn't hurt a baby." "Tick wlish." "At least not a baby in New York City anyway." "The immune system is the system we know the least about." "So where's this big mouth I hear you've got?" " Is big mouth a symptom?" " No." "It's a cure." "This seems to only be happening to gay men." "Buzzy says you are well-known in the gay community and not afraid to say what you think." "I can't find any gay leaders and I call gay organizations, no one ever calls me back." "Dr. Brookner, no one with half a brain gets involved with gay politics." " There's no room for criticism." " What's your criticism?" "I hate that we play victim when many of us, most of us, don't have to." "Then you're exactly what's needed now." "Maybe they're just waiting for someone to lead them." "I don't want to lead them." "What exactly are you trying to get me to do?" "Tell gay men to stop having sex." "Do you think that this cancer is sexually transmitted?" "I think it is, yes." "Can I prity it yet?" "No." "Do you realize that you're talking about millions of men who have singled out promiscuity as their principal political agenda?" " How do you deal with that?" " Tell them they may die." " Where?" " Down the hall." "Down the hall!" "It's not that simple." "It's more complicated than that." "They think sex is all they have." "Mr. Weeks, if having sex can kill you, doesn't anyone with half a brain stop fucking?" "You can go." "I'm not finding what I'm looking for here." " Where?" " Open up!" " Where?" "Where?" " Right in that room." "Just put him up on the table." "Up here." "Let's find a pulse." "Baby, easy." " Be still." " Can you tell me what happened?" "We were meeting him outside." "We turned the corner and he just collapsed." "Jesus!" "Hey, get the fuck out of the street!" "Baby!" " Oh, my God!" " Help!" " Who's the lover?" " I am, ma'am." " What's your name?" " Bruce Niles." "Brookner." "I need a room immediately." "Niles, you were Reinhardt's boyfriend." "Yes, ma'am." "How do you know that?" "He died three weeks ago." "Wouldn't even let me say goodbye." "Not even let me kiss him goodbye." "He's dead?" "So sorry." "It can happen this fast?" "It just did." "We have to do something." "No one else will." "What are we supposed to do?" "You make these assumptions on the basis of 46 cases." "You wanted to know what I think." "This is what I think." "You are all going to infect each other." "Now only a few of you have." "Unfortunately, we can't tell yet which ones." "Long before we isolated the hepatitis viruses, we knew about the diseases they caused and how they got around." "Where are the medical journals?" "The "Times"?" "I sent my first reports to the medical journals over a year ago." "Excuse me, how do you know what you're looking for, real quick, if you don't know what you're looking for?" "I'm sorry, I guess that's a dumb question." "No, it isn't." "It's the smartest question of all and the hardest one to answer." "Doesn't common sense tell you you should cool it for a while?" "Why not?" "That doesn't leave much to look forward to." "What if it turns out that you're wrong?" "Let her speak!" "The worst that could happen would be that you cooled it for a while." "No, excuse me." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "That is not the worst that will have happened." "Guys will become frightened of sex." "We will lose our self-respect that we fought very, very hard for." "We will be scapegoated worse than ever." "The world will think we're carriers and the Moral Majority will have even more of a field day." "I am not coming back until this bitch on wheels is gone." "Wait!" "I see more cases each week than the week before." "Half of all my patients die." "Okay, I hope she winds this up, 'cause I've got a tiny little orgy in New Rochelle." "Where's the health department?" "Where's the mayor?" " Shut the fuck up, John." " Oh, you shut the fuck up, hon." "What are the numbers?" "Is every gay meeting like this?" "Half these people just showed up to get laid." "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "We're starting a group." "We're starting a health crisis group." "We're gonna meet here again." "Next time, bring some fucking food." "Hey, hey, hey." "That's not nice." "Welcome to gay politics." "Yeah, I'm very late for an important meeting with Craig Claiborne." "He's expecting me." " Hi, Felix Turner." " And you are?" "My name's Ned Weeks." "You're very cute." "You caught me at a rough moment, all right?" "I have a deadline." "The First Lady is coming to town." "I've been told you're gay and you might be able to help me get some vital information in the "Times."" "You've "been told"?" "And who was it that told you?" "Oh, honey, everybody's talking about it." "Why does everyone gay think that I run "The New York Times"?" "I can't help you with this." "Sorry to hear that." "What would you suggest I do?" "Take your pick." "I got 23 parties, 37 new restaurants, 12 new discos." "Listen, I can't get anyone here to write another article." "I've talked to half a dozen reporters and the guy who worked on the first piece." ""Mr. Leather"?" "Yeah, no." "No one here will write about it and I can't." "Look, we're very compartmentalized." "You wouldn't want science to write about sweaters, would you?" "It's a very peculiar feeling having to go out and seek support from a straight world for something gay." "I wouldn't know about that." "I just write about gay designers and gay discos and gay chefs and gay models and gay rock stars and gay celebrities and gay everything." "I just don't call them gay." "Isn't it time you start?" " Look, I really do have a deadline," " Hmm." "And you wouldn't want me to get fired." "Would you?" "Guys like you give me a pain in the ass." " You in the book?" " Yes." "Hi, guys." "Give to gay cancer?" "Hi, give to gay cancer?" "No?" "Hi." "Give to gay cancer?" "Hi, sir..." "Hi, give to gay cancer?" "There's a cancer in the gay community." "Can you give to gay cancer?" "There's a... there's a crisis in our community right now." "We could really use..." "We could use a little help." "Anything?" "No?" "I think you could be a little less aggressive." "Less aggressive?" "We've tried that." "Can you give to cancer in our community?" "Hi, give to gay cancer?" "It's funny." "My mother sent flowers." "And I had never told her I was gay." "I just told her that Craig had died." "I think she knew." "I think somehow mothers always know." "Doesn't spending $5 million on a house frighten you?" "Scared the shit out of me even having you handling my finances." "You can have a house anytime you want." "Which reminds me, your account needs more money." "You're not doing too badly." "I miss you being in the movie business." " I like movies." " Do I detect a note of approval from the big brother that called me "Lemon"?" "I don't want a house." "Then why have you been searching in the country for so long for?" " No fun living in it alone." " This Bruce... is he someone you're seeing?" "I see him, he doesn't see me." "Ben... could your law firm take this on for free?" "What's it called?" "Pro bono?" "We started an organization, I told you there's this new disease." "Now this sounds like just another excuse to keep from writing." "Why can't you just say "yes"?" "I told you, because we have a committee that decides that kind of thing." "But you're the senior partner and I'm your brother." "Hey, Mario." "How's Homer?" "If you're not gonna help, I'm gonna have to find somebody else." " Well, you're more than free to do that." " I don't want to do that." "I want my big brother's fancy, famous, big-time, major law firm to be the first straight New York law firm to do pro bono work for a gay cause." "I'd be real proud of that and" "I'll ask my partners' approval at the next meeting." "I'll lobby them." "You don't sound like a very sure vote." "Okay." "You're getting better at it." "I'm seeing three to four new patients a week." "I've got seven in ICU." "The whole hospital only has room for 30." "I've had to admit some of them under other illnesses." "That's a no-no." "I've got 20 in private rooms they can't afford." "Okay, what about the guys who don't have health insurance..." " artists, actors?" " I've got eight of them in another ward where I shouldn't put them." "Why don't you wear gloves and a face mask?" "Never have and I never will." "And I'm still here." "Why is all the food sitting outside their rooms like this?" " It's getting cold." " It's always cold because the appropriate staff won't bring it into the rooms, so it sits and rots until one of my staff can." "Right there." "Yeah, by the water." "Yeah, right through the tunnel." "Take the tunnel." "We'll take the book back." "I know him." "Can I go inside with you?" "Only if you wear all the protective shit." "If you don't, I don't." "Over there." "Go the other way." "No, are you listening to me?" "Are you listening to me?" "Go back." " Hi, Sanford." " You see that?" "Take the tunnel." "Go ahead, drive straight through." "How we doing, soldier?" "I want my dog." "Can you please bring me my dog?" "He won't be able to live without me." "I want my dog." "I want my dog." "Go ahead." "That's right." "Oh, good." "Good." "No." "Take the book back." "Right there." "Pull hard." "Right there." "Can you please bring me my dog?" "He won't know how to live without me." "Don't bother." "Who's going to bring me my dog?" "His name is Skip." "He'll come when you call him." "Please." "I miss him." "I miss him." "Can you imagine this at 19?" "Your first boyfriend you were gonna spend your whole life with." " Excuse me." " Yeah." "You're the TV guy?" "Please go to room 407 and fix it." " No I'm not gonna do that." " Fix the TV." "It's your fucking job." "My union says I don't gotta risk my life for some contagious fairy." "If I have to go in there, then I fucking quit." "So what exactly has your side been doing?" " Hi." " Hey." "Thanks." "Want some of this?" "A beer?" "Oh, beer's fine." "Thanks." "Oh, hey, pooch." " Her name's Sam." " Hi, Sam." "You know, I really used to like high-tech, but I'm tired of it now." "I think I want chintz back again." "Don't be insulted." "I'm not." "I want chintz back again, too." "So, here we are." "Two fellows who want chintz back again." "I guess this really is a date." "I'm starving." " You glad I'm here?" " Oh..." "I'm pleased as punch you're here." "You're very good-looking." "What are you doing here?" "You think you're bad-looking or something?" "Where you from?" "I'm from Oklahoma." "I left home at 18, put myself through... what, you wanna dance?" "Put myself through college." "My dad worked at the refinery in West Tulsa and my mom was a waitress." "Had a luncheonette in Walgreens." "It's amazing, isn't it?" "How a kid comes out of all that and wind up on the "Times,"" "dictating taste and style to the entire world." "And we were just starting to talk so nicely." "Talking's not my problem." "Shutting up's my problem." "Why do you write all that fancy ball gown bullshit?" "I bet you gobble it up every day." "I know 10 people who have died." "When I came to you, it was only one." "I'm sorry." "Is that why you agreed to this date?" "Fork on the left." "Knife on the right." "Did you know that Hitler's Final Solution to eliminate the Polish Jews was first mentioned in the "Times"?" "It was on page 28." "On page 6 of the "Washington Post."" "They are both owned by Jews." "Their very own people." "Scholars are finally writing honestly about it and it's damning to everyone." "Where is the Christian churches?" "The Pope?" "Churchill?" "Roosevelt?" "A few words from any of them would have put Hitler on notice." "Dachau was open in 1933." "Where the fuck was everybody?" "This is turning out to be a very romantic evening." "You've never had a lover, have you?" "I suppose you've had quite a few." "I had a very good one." "For a number of years, thank you." "He was older than I was and he found someone younger." " You looking for a father?" " No, I'm not looking for a father." "God." "You're relentless." "Okay." "That's yours." "Everybody had a million reasons for not getting involved." "The American Jews knew exactly what was going on." "Could you imagine if every Jew had marched on Washington proudly, huh?" "Ned." "You don't remember me, do you?" "It was at the baths a few years ago." "Come to Man's Country, see what we're all about and what we have to offer." "Man's Country is a full facility, multileveled complex that was designed to feature something for everyone." "Come to Man's Country to develop your body... or a friendship with somebody else's." "Visit us once and you'll come again and again." "♪ Nasty" "♪ You're nasty..." "You would've thought I was applying for the CIA the way you looked at me." "And then what happened?" "I followed you into your room." "♪ Nasty..." "You couldn't even open your eyes." "You told me your real name was Alexander." "I asked what you did and you said something like you "tried a number of things" and..." "I asked if that had included love." "That's when you said, "I have to get up early in the morning."" "Yeah." "Men do not naturally not love." "They learn not to." "I think you're a bluffer." "How could I not remember you?" "I don't know." "It was very dark." "Do you think we could start over?" "Yeah." "When I was going to Yale, I thought I was the only gay guy there." "Swear to God." "Went to the shrink who tried to change me." "Now they have "Gay Weeks" there and they throw the best dances of anyone." "Imagine being able to dance cheek to cheek with your boyfriend during your bright college days." "Did you ever sleep with a woman?" "What?" "Her name was..." "Delilah." "Delilah?" "She was... a stand-in on this movie I wrote." "She was very nice and pretty." "Always smiling at me." "So I..." "I asked a straight friend to explain it to me." "I thought I knew, but I just wanted to make sure." "And I had her to dinner and... afterwards, what I deemed to be a suitable moment because I had been communicating with it down there..." ""Are you ready?" "Are you absolutely certain you're ready?"" "And when it appeared "Abercrombie" was ready." "I picked her up, very Rhett Butler, and carried her to my bed." " Where I couldn't get it up." " Oh!" " But..." " I can certainly relate to that." "In the middle of the night, I woke up with this gigantic erection, God..." "God knows how." "So I shake her, shouting, "Please stick it in for me, Delilah."" "I was afraid of it going away before I could... while I was hunting for the right place to put it." "She did and I did, and Abercrombie did." "Ugh..." "The next morning I woke up and I, who had been under the spell of this shrink who was determined to change me, rushed into his office." "And I, who had been fucking with fellows since the 7th grade, hysterically, at the age of 32 proclaimed," ""Dr. Gillespie, I'm no longer a virgin!"" "Oh, aw." "He's in here." "I think we'll catch him." "All right." "So, I just go over and say hello?" "I told him I invited you and we went to Yale together." "It's my farewell party." "What's he gonna do?" "Let's go." "Ahem." "His Honor would like you to get lost." " This is my friend, Ned Weeks." " Yeah, we know who he is." "Mr. Mayor!" "We need your help!" "There's this new disease." "You must have heard about it." "We need your help badly!" "Get off me, you pigs!" "This is America!" "Mr. Mayor!" "We're dying!" "Okay, this is what Ned wrote for us to send out." ""I am sick of guys moaning that giving up careless sex..."" ""...until this blows over is worse than death." "I am sick of guys that can only think with their cocks." "I am sick of closeted gays." "It's 1982 now, guys, when are you gonna come out?" "By 1983 you could be dead."" "You're crazy." "Am I, Bruce?" "Do you really think so?" "Aren't we supposed to elect a president tonight?" "We can't tell people how to live their lives, Ned." "The entire gay political movement is fucking." " Hi." " Hi." "You know, I'm very interested in starting up some sort of services for the patients." "We've gotta start talking about them." "Also, there are a lot of very scared people out there and they're desperate for information." "I'd like to start a hotline." "Who's he?" "Ooh, he does not know who I am yet." "His name is Tommy Boatwright." "In real life, he is a hospital administrator." "Uh... he's here to help and he's a Southern bitch." "Mr. Boatwright, Bruce Niles." " Nice to meet you." " My pleasure." "You're very handsome." "He knows." "The fuck is this?" "Was this your idea, Ned?" "I'm looking." "What am I not seeing?" " Keep looking." " What we put for our return address." "Do you mean because the word "gay" is on the envelope?" "Fucking A, yes." "Instead of just our initials." " We can't send these out." " Excuse me." "If we want anybody to show up for this dance, we have to get these out tonight." "We need to go through and scratch out the word "gay" with a Magic Marker." "Oh, honey, 10,000 times?" "Bruce, I have sympathy for kids living at home on Long Island with their parents, but... but the guys who are getting these..." "look at you." "You live at home... you live alone, you own your own apartment, your mother lives in another state." "Okay, what about my mailman?" "You don't expect me to take you seriously." " Yes, I do, Ned." " Okay, ladies, behave." "Look, it's getting late and we still haven't elected a president." "Neddy..." "I think that it should be Bruce." "Everybody knows him everybody likes him and everybodt..." "'Cause he's popular and everybody's afraid of me?" "Yes!" "I mean, look at him." "He's... he's gorgeous and all the kids in Christopher Street and Fire Island, they'll just... they'll feel a little bit more comfortable following him." " Just like high school." " Yes!" "All right, all those in favor of Bruce Niles as our first president, raise their hands." "I don't think I want this." "Oh, come on." "You're gorgeous and we're all gonna follow you." " Fuck you, I accept." " Well, fuck you, congratulations." "♪ Do you really want to make me cry?" "♪" "Felix..." "let's move somewhere far away, just the two of us, together on a desert island." "Don't you dare sto for one sid what you're doing." "I appreciate you not yelling at me about what the "Times" isn't doing" " and my not being more political." " Why don't you?" "It's a relief not having to have to talk politics with someone, but that's not the reason." "No?" "It's because you're too good to be true, because I've been waiting for a lover like you my whole life, you haven't showed up until now, and I'm scared shitless that I'm gonna do something to fuck it up." " Am I crazy?" " Of course." "That's why I'm here." "Now we gettin' warm." "♪ Sending you forget-me-nots ♪" "♪Forget-me-nots" "♪ To help me to remember ♪" "♪ Baby, please forget me not ♪" "♪ Forget me not" "♪ I want you to remember ♪" "♪ Sending you forget-me-nots ♪" "♪ To help me to remember ♪" "♪ Baby, please forget me not ♪" "♪ I want you to remember ♪" "♪ Sending you forget-me-nots... ♪" "Did I look okay?" "Could you tell I was wearing all this makeup?" "You looked great." "You have got to go see Emma." "Can we just forget about this?" "I'm all right." "And if I'm not, I don't wanna know because no one will hire me," "and haven't lostork any weight." "I can still cover it up." " I told you not to tell him." " Sorry." "Already afraid to kiss me?" "That's not true." "It's okay." "I'm afraid to let you." "I love you." "I'll walk him down." "Okay, he's the third guy I've been with." "Reinhardt, Craig, and I don't know what I'll do if Albert has this." "You're gonna fight." "We'll fight together." "You're my best friend, Ned Weeks." "You're my best friend and I've never met anyone like you before." "What do you mean, like me?" "Like you, meaning... where I'm from, I..." "I mean..." "I didn't even see a Jew until I was in the Army, let alone a man that was smart, funny... decently good-looking." "My friends stopped hanging out with me because they say I depress them." "So be it." "And you... you don't look that Jewish." "Well, you don't look gay, so I guess we can both pass for white people." "I love Albert." "Bruce, look at me." "I love him." "Albert's gonna make it." "What if he doesn't?" "Let's get you home." " I'm a mess." " Yeah." " Classy moment." " Yeah." " I'm all right." " Okay." "When I finally get you where I want you," "I don't want you anymore." "Hey, Bruce, I'm in love too." "Hey." "Holy shit!" "Queen control." "Really works when it wants to." "Oh, hey, Felix." "This is Dick Lombardo." " Hi." " Finally got us someone on our board who isn't a disco dummy." "Well... maybe tonight." " I'll see ya." " Nice to meet ya." "Come on." "♪...and so you're back" "♪ From outer space" "♪ I just walked in to find you here ♪" "♪ With that sad look upon your face ♪" "♪ I should have changed that stupid lock ♪" "♪ I should have made you leave your key ♪" "♪ If I had known for just one second ♪" "♪ You'd be back to bother me ♪" "♪ Go on, now go" "♪ Walk out the door" "♪ Just turn around now" "♪ 'Cause you're not welcome anymore ♪" "♪ Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?" "♪" "♪ Did you think I'd crumble?" "♪" "♪ Did you think I'd lay down and die?" "♪" "♪ Oh, no, not I" "♪ I will survive... ♪ Oh, as long as..." "We are all so happy you joined us tonight!" "We are proving that we are more than just looks, brains, talent and heart." "Together we raised more than any gay group ever in this city." "And I wanna call over" "Mr. Ned Weeks." "Don't be shy." "We did it!" "We will now reveal just how much we raised together." "In three, two, one... $53,000!" "Gay Men's Health Crisis, come on up." "Felix, honey, come on up, please." "Come up." "I love you." "Let's dance!" "♪ Just turn around now" "♪ 'Cause you're not welcome anymore ♪" "♪ Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?" "♪" "♪ Did you think I'd crumble?" "♪" "♪ Did you think I'd lay down and die?" "♪" "♪ Oh, no, not I" "♪ I will survive" "♪ Oh, as long as I know how to love ♪" "♪ I know I'll stay alive... ♪" "♪ Someday he'll come along" "♪ The man I love" "♪ And he'll be big and strong ♪" "♪ The man I love" "♪ And when he comes my way ♪" "♪ I'll do my best" "♪ To make him stay" "♪ He'll look at me and smile ♪" "♪ I'll understand" "♪ And in a little while" "♪ He'll take my hand" "♪ And though it seems absurd ♪" "♪ I know we both won't say a word ♪" "♪ Maybe I shall meet him Sunday ♪" "♪ Maybe Monday" "♪ Maybe not" "♪ Still I'm sure to meet him... ♪" "Imagine if we had this when we were young." "No fear, no shame." "All I was imagining all those years was you." "♪ He'll build a little home ♪" "♪ Just meant for two" "♪ From which I'll never roam ♪" "♪ Who would, would you?" "♪ And so all else above" "♪ I'm waiting for the man... ♪" "Felix Turner, would you like to move in with me?" "Yes." " Yes?" " Yesterday." "Yes?" "Yes!" " Yes!" "Yes!" " ♪ And so all else above... ♪ I'm waiting for" "♪ The man" "♪ I love." ""We are all walking time bombs waiting for whatever it is to set us off."" "C'mon, we're almost there." ""If this article doesn't scare the shit out of you, gay men may have no future here on Earth." "Our continued existence depends on just how angry you can get."" "They turned us away from four emergency rooms." "Come in!" "I think he's lost his mind." "D, where can I take him?" "Put him on the couch there." "I'll call Emma." " God damn it!" " I'll get some water." "How long has he been like this?" "A couple hours." "Well, I'm glad you asked me that question." "What do I think?" "I know that the government is intentionally ignoring this epidemic." "You're accusing the government of the United States of a conspiracy to murder all gay men?" "Yes." "Yes, you can say that." "Yes, Sarabeth, I am." "Yes." "That is a powerful accusation." "This is an epidemic and it's being ignored by the United States government." " Intentionally?" " Intentionally being ignored." "This is a national emergency." "This is an epidemic." "It's a plague." "You can't go on national TV and accuse the government of murder, Ned." " Why not?" " Because one day we're gonna get money, research grants." "Congress still hasn't appropriated a dime." "The mayor's still... on and on!" "Ned, when you go public, you have no right to speak for this organization unless we have approved what you have to say in advance." "You know, in point of fact, you aren't even an officer of this organization and you shouldn't be speaking for us at all." "Well, thank you for sharing that with me, Dick." "Why do you think the city has been so slow to acknowledge and deal with this emergency?" "Well, you're implying that the city has recognized and acknowledged this emergency, Malcolm." "It has not." "Why not, do you think?" "Because the mayor's gay and he's scared shitless out of his panties it'll blow his cover." "What?" " Take it off, get it off." " Are we still rolling?" "You can't tell me what to say when I'm speaking for myself." "Bullshit." "They all know you're one of us." "It is totally and politically incorrect to call someone gay who does not self-identify as being gay." "I know it's been that way forever, but something different is going on here now." "We're dying." "The mayor, he's a personal friend of yours." "You want him to appoint you a judge." "Do you have a little conflict of interest going on here?" " I told you I sent him a memo." " When?" " Through channels." " When?" " He'll answer me." " When?" "!" "There's 110 new cases this month!" "Still no meeting with our gay mayor." "No meeting with his gay assistant." "What?" "Do I embarrass you, Bruce?" "Yes." "You do." "You get more with honey than with vinegar, babe." "God, no one's told me that one, Tommy." "No, obviously, they haven't." "I never believed that bullshit, anyway." "We are in over our heads with the patients we're trying to help." "Tommy, will you please read this report out loud for Ned?" "We have trained 25 crisis counselors to help the newly diagnosed in whatever needs that they might have." "We have 12 group leaders who meet with these counselors at least once a week to go over their clients." "There are now 17 volunteer social workers, psychologists and/or psychiatrists." "We helped draw up 75 wills last... 75, Bruce!" "You used to be a fighter once." " Did you like being in the Green Berets?" " Yes." "I loved it." "Have you completely forgotten how to fight?" "Don't tell me how to fight." "I just fight differently than you." " I haven't seen your way yet." " No?" "Bruce..." "Albert may be dying." "You son of a bitch!" "You say another word about him!" "Relax." "And you." "You have no right being on this board unless you put pressure on your friend the mayor." "That's why I asked you to join us in the first place and you know it." " No, no, I'm not gonna do that." " Why not?" "No, you got your free legal work from my firm." "I'm not gonna be on your board of directors." "It's only for the stationery." "You don't have to do a thing." "That is just an evasion." "If you thought this was a straight disease..." "It's got nothing to do with you being gay." "What else does it have to do with?" "One of these days, I'm gonna get you to agree that over 20 million men and women in this country don't require the services of a psychiatrist." "Look, try to understand." "You know, I read stuff, I see TV." "Guys in leather and chains." "Dresses, high heels." "I say to myself, "This isn't Ned."" "You know the media always dramatizes the most extreme." "You guys have a dreadful image problem." "That's why it's so important to have people like you supporting us." "You already have your dignity." "We better get to lunch." "I've got an important meeting." "Do you?" "How important?" "I'm asking for your support." "In every area I consider important, you have my support." "The only area that I consider important" "I don't have your support at all." "In some place deep down inside you, you still think I'm sick, don't you?" "I think you've adjusted to life pretty well." " All things considered." " I saw how unhappy you were." "So were you!" "You wound up going to shrinks, too." "We grew up side by side." "We both felt the same about Mom and Pop." "I'll agree to the fact that I have any number of awful character traits, but not to the fact that whatever awful things they did to us made me sick and gay while you stayed straight and healthy." "We don't all react the same way to the thing." "So you became a lawyer and I became a writer." "Well, we have a difference of opinion over theory." "But your theory turns me into a man from Mars." "My theory doesn't do that to you." "Are you suggesting I did something wrong in sending you into therapy so young?" "I didn't know you were gonna stay there forever." "I didn't think that I'd had done anything wrong until you sent me there." "Ben... you mean more to me than anyone in the whole world." " You always have." "Ben, you gotta say it." " Say what?" "I'm the same as you." "Just say it." "Say it!" "No." "You're not." "I'm not gonna say it." "Every time I lose this fight, it hurts more." " I'm going home." " Oh, come on, Lemon." "I still love you." "Sarah still loves you." " The cat still loves you." " This is not a joke." "You have my love, my legal advice, my financial supervision." "I can't give you the courage to stand up to me and say you don't give a flying fuck about what I think." "Everybody's oppressed by somebody else in some form or another." "Most of us learn to fight against it despite people's opinions without the help of others." "And stop trying to wring some kind of admission of guilt out of me." "Agreeing that you were born just the same as I was born isn't gonna save your dying friends." "That is exactly what is going to save my dying friends." " You make it sound like I'm the enemy." " I am beginning to think that you and your straight world are our enemy." "I am furious with you!" "And every goddamn doctor who made me feel it was sick to love a man." "I am trying to understand why nobody gives a shit that we're dying!" "$5 million for a house?" "We can't even get 27 cents from the city." "I know 43 guys who have died and you say it's my cause not yours?" "You still think I'm sick!" "I simply cannot allow it for one single second longer." "I will not speak to you again until you accept me as your equal!" "Your healthy equal!" "Your brother!" "Yeah, be careful with that, boys." " That is a precious antique." " Easy." "I'm thinking we should put that in the grand salon." "Do we have a basement?" "That's where it should go." "Bella, I think it's time we moved your filthy mouth above ground." "I'll decorate tomorrow." "Just shove it all in there the best you can." "Oh." "Okay, knock it off, both of you." "Excuse me." " Yes, hi." " Hi." "My name is Estelle and my best friend Harvey died last night." "We went everywhere together, you know?" "Like Broadway and the Rockettes and ice skating." "He was a beautiful skater." "I'm a klutz." "But he didn't care." "We had so much fun." "Damn it, I wanna do something!" "Even though all my lesbian friends say," ""What have you guys ever done for us?"" "But I don't care." "This is for Harvey." "Please... tell me you can use me for something." "Oh." "I need a hotline director." "You think you can do that?" " I don't know how." " I don't either." "Hey." "Let me buy you a cup of coffee" " and we'll figure this out, okay?" " Okay." " So, you want to set up here?" " Yeah, this is good." "Let's do it." " What are you doing?" " Man ♪1:" "We're from the NBC affiliate." " So?" " This is the new Gay Men's Health Crisis office...?" " Who are you?" " I'm Bruce Niles." "I'm the president." "I didn't sign any consent form for you to film me or this establishment." " Please turn it off and leave." " Hey, now, don't touch my camera." " Who sent you here?" " Man ♪1:" "Somebody named Ned." " Weeks." " Oh, great." "You're here." "Anybody homo?" "Son of a bitch." "Hello, is this thing rolling?" "Look at this!" "We're in both of them the same week." "Every major network and now finally our very first office." "I wanna introduce you to our gay president who's in the closet." "And he's so handsome." "Don't ya think?" "Such a very handsome cover boy going to waste." " Oh, great." "Now you fight." " Great!" "Fight, Bruce." "You made me sound like a coward and I'm not a coward." "You know what?" "You have nothing to lose." "Your brother invests for you so you have income." "You can be gay 24/7, Ned, but I can't!" "I can't!" "So fuck you!" "No, fuck you, Bruce!" "Man ♪2:" "Oh, oh, oh." "Jesus." "When I look at you, I am filled with despair." "When I look at you, I worry we're not gonna win." "How do you think this country was founded?" "I thought I was getting started with Paul Revere, not some coward." "Ned, look at me." "Look at me!" "Look at me!" "We are doomed if we do it your way." " Doomed!" " How are they going to help us if they don't know who we are?" "They won't help us, Ned, if they do." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey!" "Come on." " Man ♪2:" "Holy shit." " Man ♪1:" "Shit!" "Okay, I'll get it, sure." "Hello?" "Yeah, you are our very first call." "How can I help you?" "I'm sorry, you have the wrong number." "You each gotta pull your shit together now, okay?" "And you need to stop being such a fucking drama queen." "God damn." "This is Estelle." "Hey." "How's it going?" "Welcome." "♪ I could feel at the time ♪" "♪ There was no way of knowing ♪" "♪ Fallen leaves in the night ♪" "♪ Who can say where they're blowing?" "♪" "♪ As free as the wind" "♪ And hopefully learning ♪" "♪ Why the sea on the tide ♪" "♪ Has no way of turning ♪" "♪ More than this" "♪ There is nothing..." "Well, we have four hands and two incomes." "You're not getting any younger, you know." "All right, let's leave my age out of this." "♪ Tell me one thing" "♪ More than this..." " Very beautiful, the country." " Very quiet, the country." "No, no." "Don't you dare!" "I have to." "You didn't leave this number on your machine." " You promised." " Hello?" "I do think we should picket the mayor." "Yes, I said that and I stand by that." "Thank you." "You promised." "No, no, no, no, no." "Wait." "Ahem... "And every gay man who is unable to come forward and fight to save his own life is truly helping to kill the rest of us."" "How many of us have to die before you get scared off your ass and into action?" "Thank you." "Who was that?" "I hear it's being called the "Ned Weeks School of Outrage."" "I did speak to one of our science reporters." "What did he say?" "It turns out he's gay and he won't... don't yell at me." "All those shrinks, they must have done something right." "Dr. Ritvo," " Dr. Malev," " Malev." "Dr. Gillespie," "Dr. Patty," "Dr. Maxene, Dr. LaVerne." "Why does that have to take so long?" "All you ever eat is desserts." "Sugar's the most important thing in life." "All the rest is just to stay alive." "Mm." "Agh!" "Shit." " What?" " The fucking board." "They say I'm causing a panic, that I'm making myself a celebrity." "Not one of them will be interviewed or appear on TV, so I do it all by default." "And you're becoming a leader." " And you love to fight." " I like to fight?" "Moi?" "Who, you?" "Yeah." "And you're havin' at time." "I am." "It's funny, I never wanted to be a leader." "I'm not doing very well." "It's sad how much time we lost." "We just weren't ready then." "If I had it... would you leave me?" "I don't know." "Would you if I did?" "No." "How do you know?" "Because my mother ran the local chapter of the Red Cross." "She put me to work in the Bloodmobile when I was eight." "I'm not programmed for anything else." "Ned, I have something to tell you." "You're finally pregnant." "I was married once." "You never told me that." "Yeah, I... she said I had been unfair to her, which I had been." " I have a son." " You have a son." " She won't let me see him." " You can't see your own son?" "But didn't you fight?" "That means you're ashamed." "So he will be, too." "This is why I didn't tell you." "Who says I didn't fight?" "Ned?" "What happens to people who can't be as strong as you want them to be?" "Weakness scares the shit out of me!" "My father was weak, and I'm afraid I'll be like him." "His life didn't stand for anything and then it was over." "So I fight, constantly." "And if I can do it, I can't understand why everybody else can't do it, too, okay?" "Wait, where are you going?" "Felix!" "Where you going?" "Felix." "I didn't mean anything by that, Felix." "I..." "I..." "I'm scared of..." "lots of things." "Really." "Heights." "I never told you I'm terrified of... what?" "It keeps getting bigger and bigger." "It doesn't go away." "Felix?" "Who, may I ask, is Felix?" "I've never been so in love in my life." "Never been in love in my life." "Tell him to come to see me first thing tomorrow 7:30." "Ned, God damn it." "What are we supposed to do?" "Not be with anybody ever?" "It's not as easy as you might think." "Oh, Em, I'm sorry." "Don't be." "How'd you get it?" "I was five years old." "A woman from the Bahamas came to our town carrying the polio virus." "She... stayed with friends." "Their kid was in my kindergarten class." "Four of us in that class got polio." "I was all dressed up in my Halloween costume to go trick-or-treating and my mother felt my forehead, put me to bed." "In the middle of the night, I realized my whole body except my arms and my hands were paralyzed." "I was crying out for my mother." ""I can't move, I can't move."" "They rushed me to the hospital, were told I'd be dead in 24 hours." "I fought." "I lived." "Were you in an iron lung?" "I was." "Then I was in bed at home." "I was connected to my class with this little... little loudspeaker." "All the children were required to visit me." "We would say, "Hello,"" "and then not know what to say next." "They were all terrified of me." "Still are." "I scare the shit out of people." "The "holy terror" in a wheelchair." "I'm scaring people, too." "Learn how to use it." "Don't need everybody's love and approval." "Ned, your organization is... worthless." "I can't get anyone important on the board." "I've seen over 300 patients." "Me." "One doctor." "All these guys who made millions off of us... fashion, rock, movies, real estate, forget it." "And any time Bruce doesn't agree with me," " he puts it to a board vote." " And you lose." "I can't pass along sex recommendations or any information that isn't 100% certain." "Nothing is 100% certain in science." "It wouldn't matter what you say anyway." "Don't yell at me for what I'm not doing." " What the fuck is your side doing?" " I don't know!" "Where's your A.M.A.?" "Does being Jewish always make you hungry?" "I don't know." "I'm not Jewish." "I'm German." " Everybody thinks you're Jewish." " I know." "In medicine it helps." "You stayed in bed the whole way through school?" "By college I had my first braces and I could walk... a little." "I don't walk so good anymore." "Probably because I'm too busy to practice." "You must practice." "Right now." "I mean it." "Right now." "C'mon." "N't n't scratch my Mathis." "May I have this dance?" "Okay." "You asked for it." "♪ Chances are" " ♪ 'Cause I wear that silly grin... ♪" " My crutches." "♪ The moment you come into view ♪" "♪ Chances are you think" "♪ That I'm in love with you ♪" "♪ Just because" "♪ My composure sort of slips ♪" " Mm-mm." "I got it. - ♪ The moment that your lips meet mine... ♪" " Oh...!" " Okay?" "Okay." "Mm-hmm." "♪...you think my heart's your valentine ♪" "♪ In the magic of moonlight ♪" "♪ When I sigh, "Hold me close, dear" ♪" "♪ Chances are you believe... ♪" "I'm afraid to leave him alone now." "I'm afraid a cure won't come in time." "I'm afraid of my anger." " I'm a terrible leader and..." " A lousy dancer." "Put me back." "♪...the one and only one for me ♪" "♪ And if you think you could... ♪" "♪ Well, chances are your chances are" "♪ Awfully good..." "Polio is a virus, too." "♪ The chances are" " All your chances are...♪" " Nobody gets polio anymore." "♪ Awfully good." "Where is he?" "We've been here for an hour and a half." "Who are these people?" "We're in a fucking dungeon here." "He can't do this to us." "He cannot do this to us and get away with it." " Did you start?" " No." " Okay, God, hi." " Hi." "Jesus Christ, what a tomb." "Do they not want us to be seen above ground?" "And where is he?" "I'm an hour late." " Hour and a half." " Don't start on me, lamb chop." " Tommy, where were you?" " I was up at Bellevue." "Had to put a sweet dying child together with his mama." "They hadn't seen each other for 15 years." "He never told her he was gay." "He didn't want to see her." "He refused to see her for weeks." "Oh, he was angry when I waltzed in with her." "It was a real weeper." "Mama holding her son." "He's dead now." "I'm truly sorry I'm late." "I'm Hiram Keebler." "Hello." "Are you related to the folks who make the crackers?" "I'm kidding." "I'm Tommy Boatwright." "Ned Weeks." "Bruce Niles." "I'm the president." "The mayor wants you to know how much he cares and how impressed he is with how you've been shouldering your own responsibilities." " Thank you." " Thank you?" "Responsibilities?" "Everything we're doing is the stuff you guys should be doing and we need help." "Uh, what Mr. Weeks is trying to say, sir, is that... we're swamped." "We're fielding over 500 calls a day on our emergency hotline." "And we're providing information that, quite frankly, the city should be providing, and isn't." "Sir, we need office space." "We have one small room." "We have over 100 people calling or walking in and out every day, and plus it's real hard when people don't want to rent to us" " because we're..." " Whoa." "That's illegal discrimination." "Yeah, we know that to be true, sir." "Mr. Keebler, it is not illegal to discriminate against homosexuals." "We've been waiting for 14 months to see the mayor." "It's taken us a year to get this meeting with you." "You're an hour and a half late." "Have you told the mayor there's an epidemic going on?" " Uh, says who?" " The government." "Which government?" "What?" "Our government?" " An epidemic?" " The Centers for Disease Control declared it..." " 17 months ago." " You can't not know this!" "Could you please reduce your level of hysteria?" "Certainly." "New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles," "Chicago, Boston, Denver." "Every single major American city is now showing cases." "At least 25 foreign countries." "But New York City, our home, the city that you have pledged to protect has more than half of everything." "Half the cases, half the dead." "I know 57 of the dead ones." "I don't wanna know any more." "Now, when do we get to see the mayor?" "14 months is a long time to be out to lunch." " You wait a minute." " No, you wait a minute." "We can't." "Time is not on our side." "Now, if you won't take word to the mayor, what are we gonna do?" "Hire a hunky hustler and send him up to Gracie Mansion with a plea tattooed to his cock?" " Mayor Koch is not gay!" " Oh, come on, "Blanche."" "Listen." "Don't you think I want to help you?" "I have a friend who is dying of this shit, right now in the V.A. hospital." "But it's very tricky." "You can see that." "It is very tricky." "Tricky, shit!" "There are a million gay people in New York." "A million and one counting you!" "You know what?" "A fire goes out in a school furnace on the West Side." "I get 3,000 calls in one day." "You know what I mean?" "If so many of you are so upset, why do I only hear from this loudmouth?" " That's a very good question." " Okay, so there are half a million gay men in our area. 315 cases doesn't seem too high, considering how many of us... of you there are." " This is bullshit!" " Ned, please." "Look, I understand this is tricky, sir." " But we need your help..." " I think, that is, that the mayor thinks you guys are overreacting." "You tell that cocksucker he is a selfish, heartless son of a bitch!" "You are Michael R. Marcus." "You hold an unsecure job with the city's Department of Health." "I'd watch out for your friends if I were you." "I don't believe that just happened." "Mickey, I am going on "The Today Show" tomorrow and I am telling them that the mayor just threatened your job to shut us up." ""The Today Show"?" "You're gonna what?" "They are treating us like shit and we're allowing them." "No, politicians, the only thing they really respond to is pressure." "You heard him with his "3,000 West Side calls."" "We're not yelling loud enough!" "Get your stuff." " This is Tommy." " Tommy, it's Ned." " Hey." " Nick died." "Shit." "God damn." "I'll call later when I know more about the memorial." "I have this tradition." "It's something I do now when a friend dies." "I save his Rolodex card." "What am I supposed to do?" "Throw it away in the trash can?" "I won't do that." "No, I won't." "That's too final." "Last year I had five cards." "Now I have 50." "A collection of cardboard tombstones, bound together with a rubber band." "I hate these fuckin' funerals." "I really do." "And you know what else I hate?" "I hate the memorials." "That's our social life now." "Going to these things." "Nick was a choreographer." "I don't know if any of you knew that." "He was just starting out." "He didn't tell a lot of people." "He was waiting to invite you to his big debut at Carnegie Hall or some shit so we could all be proud of him." "But he was so good." "He had such promise." "We're losing an entire generation." "Young men at the beginning." "Just gone." "Choreographers, playwrights, dancers, actors." "All those plays that won't get written now." "All those dances never to be danced." "In closing, I'm just gonna say I'm mad." "I'm fuckin' mad." "I keep screaming inside, "Why are they letting us die?"" ""Why is no one helping us?"" "And here's the truth." "Here's the answer." "They just don't like us." "♪..." "So I was walkin' down the street with a stick in my hand ♪" "♪ Then I saw a bunch of gang members... ♪" "♪..." "I said "Listen up, fellas, I ain't into that" ♪" "♪ I put my hands in my pockets like... ♪" "I'm going to beat this." "I've always been lucky." "Good." "That's the right attitude." "I wanted a job on the "Times," I got it." "I wanted Ned." "Have I given it to Ned?" "I don't know." "One person has a cold, sometimes the partner catches it, sometimes not." "Some doctors are saying it's okay if we use condoms." "I know they are." " Can we kiss?" " Felix." "You have nothing to fight back with." "You have no immune system to speak of." "Your body is now open to every conceivable type of infection." "You must be careful." "I'm going to do my damnedest, so must you." "I bet you say that to all the boys." "As a matter of fact," "I do." "Oh, God." "Oh." "Once upon a time there was a little boy who always wanted to love another little boy." "One day he finally found that love and it was wonderful." "I'm supposed to use gloves." "I'm supposed to do this." "I'm supposed to do that." "I'm supposed to not kiss him." " I'm so sorry." " I'm not supposed to be only 45 years old and taking care of a 35-year-old young man who's 100 years old and dying." "Emma calls it a seesaw." "He's fine, he gets sick, he gets better... he gets sicker." "God help me." "He's afraid I'll leave him." "I told him I wouldn't leave him." "That I never for one second would think of leaving him." "But he doesn't believe me." "It's hard to believe in much these days." "But we must never stop believing in each other." "I'm a mess." "That's what I am." "You cry and you cry until you think can't cry anymore and then you cry somee.e.e." "Not only for yourself or Felix, but for all the little boys who finally found their other little boys they've wanted all their lives now that we're men." "G.M.H.C." "Estelle speaking." "How may I assist you?" "Someone needs a will!" " Where's Ned?" "I want to speak to him." " He's in the back." " Here, give him this number." " Thank you." " G.M.H.C." " G.M.H.C." "Tommy, I think I got us maybe four qualified social workers to volunteer." " They're all lesbians." " Thank God for the lesbians." "Your anus?" "Oh, Planet Uranus." "Thank you for sharing." "Mickey, why aren't you in Rio?" "I put the phones on service." "You guys should get some rest." "We don't want any burnouts." "Good night, Phil." "Thank you." "Night, honey." " Bye, baby." " Good night, sweetheart." "Good work today." "All right." "Phil got diagnosed today." "Mickey, why aren't you on vacation in Rio?" "I was in Rio." "Gregory... and I were in Rio." "I get a call from Hiram's office saying I should be in his office right away first thing this morning." "From Rio?" "What kind of meeting?" "I get to City Hall, Hiram keeps me waiting forever." "And finally the commissioner comes out and he says that Hiram doesn't want to see me anymore." "I wanted to scream, "I haven't slept in two days, you dumb fuck."" "But I didn't." "Instead I said," ""Please, sir, then... why did he make me come all the way back from Rio?"" "And he says, "Oh, I'm afraid he didn't take me into his confidence."" "And he walks off." "Ned's article attacking Hiram just came out." "I'm not going to lose my job because Ned doesn't like himself." "What's that, Mick?" "You keep trying to get us to say things that we don't wanna say and I don't think we can afford to make so many enemies before we have enough friends." "Terry Spaulding is calling all of his friends from under his oxygen tank to say goodbye." "Tibby Maurer took an overdose." "Hal Schechter has got stumps for feet." " Frannie Santuzza's lost his mind!" " Will you stop it?" "Just stop!" " Mickey, you all right?" " I don't think so." "Why can't they find the virus?" "Baby, it takes time." "I work all day for the city writing stuff on... breast-feeding versus formula and how to stay calm when you have herpes." "And at night I work on our newsletter and our health column for the "Native."" "I just..." "I can't take it anymore." "I have written about every single theory." "Repeated infection by a virus." "New appearance by a dormant virus." "Single virus, new virus, old virus, multi-virus, partial virus," " latent virus, mutant virus..." " Take it easy, honey." "No, we mustn't forget about fucking and sucking and kissing and blood and voodoo and drugs and poppers and needles and Africa, Haiti, Cuba, blacks, amoebas, pigs, fucking Uranus!" " What if it isn't any of them?" " I don't know." "The great plague of London was caused by drinking water from a pump that just nobody... nobody noticed it." "Maybe it's predisposition or the theory of the herd... only so many of us are going to get it, then the pool's used up." "What if it's monogamy?" "Bruce, you and I could actually be worse off because of constant bombardment from a single source... our lovers." "So maybe the guys who go to the baths, maybe they've built up the best immunity." "I don't know what to tell anybody anymore and everybody asks me." "Who's right?" "I don't know." "Who's wrong?" "I feel..." "I feel so fucking inadequate." "How can we tell people, "Stop"?" "It's just..." "I don't... it might be caused by..." "I don't know." "I don't know." "That's exactly how I feel." "And maybe he's right." "And that scares me." "Neddy, you scare me." "You really think the president... that he wants this to happen?" "You really think the CIA has unleashed germ warfare to kill off all the queers that Jerry Falwell doesn't want?" " Mick." "Try to hold on." " To what?" "I used to love my country." "The "Native" received an anonymous letter describing top-secret Defense Department experiments at Fort Detrick, Maryland... that have produced a virus that can destroy the immune system." "Its codename was "Firm Hand."" "They started testing it in 1978 on a group of gays." "I never used to believe shit like that... they're gonna persecute us!" "They're gonna cancel our health insurance, they're gonna put us into camps, they're gonna quarantine us." "And you think that I'm killing people?" " That is not what I said." " It is, you know you said it." "I've spent 15 years of my life fighting for our right to be free and to make love wherever, whenever." "And you're telling me all those years of what being gay stood for is wrong!" "And that I'm a murderer." "We have been so oppressed." "Don't you remember?" "Can't you see how important it is for us to love openly, without hiding, without guilt?" "Why can't you see that?" "I went to the top of the Empire State Building." "Okay, I'm taking you home." "You can jump off from there when nobody's looking." "All right, Mickey, let's go home." "Right now." "Ned, I'm not a murderer." "I'm not." "All my life I've been hated for being gay, for being short..." "Jewish." "So go ahead, you tell everybody." "Tell everybody that we were wrong and I'm sorry." "Someday, somebody's gonna come along and they're gonna stick the knife in you and tell you everything you fought for your whole life is shit!" "Mickey!" "Mickey!" "Get up!" " Get up." "Come here." " It's okay." "Come on." "I'm gonna take you home now, okay?" "I don't wanna go home." "Take me to St. Vincent's." "Okay." "That's fine." "Come." "Let's go." "Look, we're all real tired, you hear me?" "We got ourselves here a lot of bereavement overload." "We're the fighters." "Aren't we?" " We're the fi..." " You bet, sweetness." "And you're a hero.?" "You're a hero whether you know that or not." "You're our first hero." "Let's go." "You wanna be president?" "I just want Felix to live." "Gay Men's Health Crisis." "Hiram, old buddy." "How's it hanging?" "Mm." " You ready?" " Yeah." "The mayor's found a secret little fund for giving away money secretly." "We are not allowed to tell anyone where we got it, and if we do, we'll never get any more." " How much?" " $9,000." "Ned." "Albert's dead." "His mother wanted to see him in Phoenix before he died." "And this was the last week, when it was obvious." "So I got permission from Emma and took him to the airport." "And when we got to the airport, the pilot refused to fly the plane." "So I refused to get off of it." "You would have been very proud of me, Ned." "So finally we get another pilot and when we take off," "Albert just loses his mind." "I don't wanna be in this thing." " It's okay." " I don't wanna be in this..." " I'm just gonna go." " No, Albert." "I don't wanna..." " Albert." " Tell him to sit down." " I'm sorry." " Sir, sir, you have to keep seated." " Sit down up there." " Sir, have a seat." "You have to..." "No!" " Sir..." " Stop!" "Sir!" "We gotta sit down, okay?" "He doesn't recognize me." "It's me." "It's me." "Doesn't know where we're going." " We're almost home." " That we're going to see his mother in Phoenix... nothing." "He just becomes..." "Oh, shit." "Can I get a goddamn towel, please?" "When we land in Phoenix and when we get to the hospital where his mother had fixed up the room real nice..." "Albert is dead." "The hospital doctors refused to examine him and give him a cause of death on his death certificate." "Without the death certificate, the undertakers will not take him." " And neither would the police." "" " Come on, man." "Pull it down." "Finally some orderly comes in and stuffs my Albert in an oversized Glad garbage bag and puts him in the alley with the rest of the garbage." "I did you a favor, man." "I got him out." "I want 50 bucks." " Is that all of him?" " Yep." "You want him?" "$3,000." "He's gone." "He's gone." "Gone." "Oh, God." ""I am telling you they are murdering us and we are letting them." "We're gonna die."" ""We're gonna die very soon, unless you get off your fucking asses and fight back."" "Emma's in there waiting." "Come on, two bites." "Come on, now." " No." " Don't make me break out the yogurt." " One more." " Have you talked to your brother yet?" "I remember that about you." "You don't talk to the people you love most in the world." "You want me to get better and I'm not getting better and I feel so fucking guilty." "You have a lunch meeting with Bill Blass on Friday." " Fancy." " Mm..." "I'm call with my regrets." "What are you doing?" "Making a date with you two months from now." "I've been invited to speak at Yale's Gay Week." "And we're going." "Remember how I told you they have those dances there now?" "You're my date." "I want you to live so much." "I'm not supposed to say that." "Oh, please, God." "Give us one more year." "I promise I'll eat my spinach." "I am taking care of more victims of this disease than anyone in the world." "We have more frozen blood samples, more data of every kind, and much more experience." "Dr. Brookner, the government's position is this." "There are $5 million in the pipeline for which we have received over $55 million worth of requests." "5 million doesn't seem quite right for some 2,000 cases." "The government spent 3 million investigating seven deaths from Tylenol." " We're entering the third year." " We voted to reject your application for funding." "Oh?" "I'd like to hear your reasons." "The direction of the research you're suggesting is imprecise and unfocused." "Oh, it is, is it?" "You don't know what's going on any more than I do." "Could you tell me precisely why you're blocking my efforts?" "Dr. Brookner." "There are now other investigators." "This is no longer only your disease, though you seem to think it is." "Oh, I do, do I?" "And you're here to take it away from me, is that it?" "Well, I'll let you in on a little secret, Doctor." "You can have it." "I didn't want it in the first place." "You think it's a privilege to watch young men die?" "What am I arguing with you for?" "You do not know enough to study boiled water." "How dare you come down here and judge me?" "!" "We only serve on this peer review panel at the behest of Dr. Murray." "Another idiot... and, by the way, a closeted homosexual doing everything in his power to sweep this under the rug." "And I vowed I'd never say anything like that in public." "How does it always happen that all of the idiots are always on your team?" "How can you refuse to fund my research or not invite me to participate in yours?" "Your National Institutes of Health received my first request for money two years ago." "It took you one year just to print up application forms." "It's taken you three years from my first reported case just to show up here for a look, and the paltry amount of money you are forcing us to beg for out of the $4 billion you now receive each and every year" "to protect the health of American people won't come to anyone before only God knows when." "A promising virus has been discovered in France." "Why do you refuse to cooperate with the French?" "Why are we told not to cooperate with the French?" "Just so you can steal a Nobel Prize while something is being passed around that causes death!" "Women have been discovered to have it in Africa where it is clearly transmitted heterosexually." "It is only a question of time." "We could all be dead before you do anything." "You want my data?" "You want my ideas?" "You want my patients?" "Take them!" "Just do something with them!" "You're fucking right!" "I am... imprecise and unfocused and you are all idiots!" "Did you organize that picketing of the mayor?" "Yes." " And the signs?" " Yes." "And your next play is about a First Lady" " who gave the best blow jobs in Hollywood." " Yes." " This place is perfect for our new office." " Yes." "So tidy." "Here." "I got him." "Come on." "Let's get you back to bed." "Okay." "Here you go." "Estelle made you some stuffed cabbage for later." "There's this new drug in Paris." "Kessler's lover is flying out to get it." "Here it is." "HPA-23." "Ned." " He looks awful" " You this is anything or is it just another shit drug like all the rest?" "I think you need to prepare yourself for letting go." "You can't stop fighting for the ones you love." "Haven't you ever had to fight for somebody you love?" "Tommy." "You gotta start putting yourself out there in a way that everyone else could see what I see." "What kind of a fucked-up love scene is this?" "Yes?" "Yes, ma'am?" "4:30 tomorrow?" "Yes, ma'am." "The fucking White House." "Fuck the mayor." "I've just been invited to the White House." "They're gonna do something!" "Oh, just so I understand, what exactly does your title mean in terms of our plague?" "We prefer not to use negative terms." "It only scares people." "Well, there's 3,339 cases so far." "1,122 dead." "Sounds like a plague to me." "I'm scared." "Aren't you?" "What does your title mean again?" "I come up with ideas for the president about what he ought to be doing and not doing." "Okay, good." "Got it." "So, the money's there, right?" "It just hasn't been spent." "So there's this new drug in France." "Why doesn't the N.I.H. study it?" "I mean, what I want, what we want, what we desperately need is for somebody to help us cut through all this red tape." "I can asure you that not a week goes by that I don't bring new information and reports to the president." "The progress that's been made on this disease" " is unprecedented." " But it's contagious." "Can't you see that because it's contagious, you... you have to work faster?" "Do you really believe that anybody in a serious public policy position in their heart of hearts or even in their most closeted meetings says to each other, "Hey, guys, let's not get too upset about this"?" "Yes, your boss hasn't said the word "AIDS" out loud." "Answer me this one question." "This shit, can... can hookers get it?" "Or, you know, someone who had a one-night stand?" " Of course." " You can't prove that." "I mean, from what I understand, what I've read, female-to-male transmissions through normal vaginal intercourse does not seem to be very efficient." "It's a virus, y it doesn't discriminate." "Yes, but... it's very difficult." "Isn't it?" "It's almost impossible for a straight, you know, regular heterosexual guy to get it, am I right?" " I'm sorry?" " There's no documented cases, am I right?" "There's not a single documented case of a heterosexual man getting it?" "Not from fucking or a blow job?" "I don't have that information." "Great, that's what I thought." "Susan, call my meeting." "I'll be about 15 minutes late." "Thanks." " Thank you so much." " Wait, please." " Call me anytime." " Sir." "Wait." "100 million predicted and nobody is paying any attention!" "Hi, I need security on the second floor." "Why you sitting on the floor?" "I fell down trying to get from there to here." "Oh, don't touch me!" "God." "I hate it when you look at me." "You hungry?" "I'm hungry, how about you?" "I looked in all my datebooks." "No one else I slept with is sick." "Maybe you're the carrier." "We don't have to do this to each other." "You're gonna get better, Felix." "You are." "Emma says the N.I.H. is finally starting research." " We have to hope." " Oh, do we?" " Yes, we do." " Do we?" "And how am I supposed to do that?" "Huh?" "Stop eating that shit!" " Give it to me." " No!" "You know how important it is to watch your nutrition." "I have a life expectancy of 10 more minutes." "I'll eat what I wanna eat." "Ned." "It's getting messier." "Okay?" "I don't wanna make you see it." "Nobody can make me do anything." "You should know that better than anybody." "Now you gonna sit there on the floor for the rest of your life?" " Do you hear me?" " Do you hear me?" " No!" " No?" "I've had over 40 treatments." "No?" "I've had three... no, four different kinds of chemo." "No!" "I've had three different experimentals." "Emma has spent more time on me than anyone else." "And it hasn't done a thing!" "You cannot force the goddamn sun to come out!" "I am so sick of fighting and everybody's stupidity and blindness and guilt trips." "You can't eat the food?" "Don't eat the food." "I don't care." "Take your poison, I don't care." "Fish is good for you." "Don't want any of that, do we?" "No green salad!" "No broccoli!" "No vegetables!" "No bread with seven grain!" "Why would anyone ever want any milk?" "You might get some calcium in your bones!" "Do you wanna die, Felix?" "Die!" "Please don't leave me, Felix." "Keep out!" "Keep out!" "Keep out!" "Keep out!" "Keep out!" "Keep out!" "Keep out!" "Keep out!" "Keep out!" "Assholes." "Gay Men's Health Crisis." "Thrush is a fungus, yes." "Can you tell him that we'll be picketing there and not afraid of arrest or police brutality." " Gay Men's Health Crisis." " That's right." "The mayor has four more hours before we carry out our threats of civil disobedience if he doesn't meet with us." "Tommy got the call yesterday, Ned." "Why didn't you tell me?" "!" "You see, it works!" " When?" "When?" " Only two can go to the meeting, Ned." " When?" " Tommy's executive director." "I'm going." " I polled the fucking board, Ned." " I wrote that letter to the mayor." "That meeting is mine." "I am going to go and represent this organization that I have spent every minute of my life fighting for and that was started in my living room or I quit." "You'd let me quit?" "The board asked me to read this out loud to you." " Read what?" " A letter." "Ahem." "Go on, read it." ""We are circulating this letter widely among people of judgment and good sense." "You are on a colossal ego trip we must curtail." "To manipulate fear as you have done repeatedly is to us, sheer barbarism." "To exploit the deaths of gay men as you have done on television and in publications all over America is to us, an act of vandalism." "And after years of liberation, you helped make sex dirty again for us... terrible and forbidden." "We are more angry at you than ever in our lives toward anyone." "We think you want to lead us all." "Well... we do not want you to lead us." "In accordance with our bylaws as drawn up by Weeks, Frankel," "Levinstein," "Mr. Ned Weeks is hereby removed as a director of Gay Men's Health Crisis." "We beg that you leave us quietly and not destroy us and what good work we manage despite your disapproval." "Effective immediately."" "Ned." "The executive director isn't on the board, you know that." "I don't have a vote." "What could..." "what could I have done?" " You didn't support me." " That's not true." "You're all nothing but undertakers." "This whole organization is a funeral parlor." " Ned..." " All you do is take care of the dying." "Who's fighting so the living can go on living?" "Who's fighting for my Felix?" "Tommy." "We need you upstairs." "I belong to a culture that includes Marcel Proust," "Walt Whitman, Tennessee Williams, Alexander the Great, so many popes and cardinals you wouldn't believe." "Mr. Green Beret, did you know that it was an openly gay Englishman who's responsible for winning World War II?" "His name's Alan Turing and he cracked the Germans' Enigma code." "After the war was over, he committed suicide because he was so hounded for being gay." "Why didn't they teach any of that in schools?" "A gay man is responsible for winning World War II!" "If they did, maybe he wouldn't have killed himself and you wouldn't be so terrified of who you are." "That's how I want to be remembered." "As one of the men who won the war." "Bruce, I know that I am an asshole." "But please don't shut me out." "Go." "Your brother and I are lovers." "I'm dying and I need to make a will." " Please." " Thank you." "I want to leave everything to Ned." " How's my brother?" " Well, he blames himself for everything from my dying to the state of the entire world." "All that plus you two still not talking." "You must be as stubborn as he is." "I'll call him right away." "Do." "He's at home packing." "We're going to Yale in a few days." "For Gay Week." "He says he can't believe it." "He tried to kill himself there when he was a freshman." "I haven't much... except for a beautiful piece of land on the Cape in Wellfleet." "Ned doesn't know about it." "It was to have been a surprise for when we lived there together or riding away happily ever after." "I also have an insurance policy, uh... with the "Times." I'm a reporter... for "The New York Times."" "It's meant to come to my next of kin." "I'm afraid they might not give it to him." "Well, if he's listed as a beneficiary, they must." "You're smarter than that." "Don't be so naive." "I assure you, I will fight to make sure that they do." "I was hoping you'd say that." "Felix..." "I wish we'd met sooner." "I should be wearing something" "You are, honey." "It should... it should be something" "Perry Ellis ran up for me personally." "Ned?" "You find a way to fight again." "I will." "Hey, hey, hey." "Hey." "Emma." "Emma...?" "Could we... could we start now, please?" "Ahem." ""We are gathered here in the sight of God to join together these two men." "They love each other very much and... want to be married in the presence of their family and friends." "I see no objection." "Do you, Felix Turner," " take Ned Weeks..."" " Alexander." "Yeah." " "To be your..."" " My great true love." "I do." "I do." "I do." "I do." "I do." "I do." "This is Tommy." "Thanks for letting me know." "♪..." "I know your part'll go fine ♪" "♪ Fly down to Mexico" "♪ Da-n-da-da, da-n-da-da and here I am ♪" "♪ The only living boy in New York ♪" "♪ I get the news I need on the weather report ♪" "♪ Oh, I can gather all the news I need ♪" "♪ On the weather report" "♪ Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile ♪" "♪ Do-da, da-do-da here I am ♪" "T T The only living boy in New York ♪" "♪ Half of the time we're gone, but we don't know where ♪" "♪ And we don't know where ♪" "♪ Ah..." "♪ Here I am" "♪ Half of the time we're gone, but we don't know where ♪" "♪ And we don't know where ♪" "♪ Tom, get your plane right on time ♪" "♪ I know that you've been eager to fly now ♪" "♪ Hey, let your honesty shine, shine, shine now ♪" "♪ Da-n-da-da, da-n-da-da ♪" "♪ Like it shines on me" "♪ The only living boy in New York ♪" "♪ The only living boy in New York... ♪" "♪ Ah..." "♪ Here I am" "♪ Ah..." "♪ Here I am."