"♫ Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale" "♫ A tale of a fateful trip" "♫ That started from this tropic port" "♫ Aboard this tiny ship" "♫ The mate was a mighty sailing man" "♫ The skipper brave and sure" "♫ Five passengers set sail that day" "♫ For a three hour tour, a three hour tour" "(thunder crashes)" "♫ The weather started getting rough" "♫ The tiny ship was tossed" "♫ If not for the courage of the fearless crew" "♫ The Minnow would be lost, the Minnow would be lost" "♫ The ship set ground on the shore of this" "♫ Uncharted desert isle" "♫ With Gilligan" "♫ The Skipper too" "♫ The millionaire and his wife" "♫ The movie star" "♫ The professor and Mary Ann" "♫ Here on Gilligan's Isle" "(gentle music)" "(snoring)" "Gilligan." "(Gilligan snoring)" "Gilligan!" "(Gilligan snoring)" "Gilligan!" "(Gilligan snoring)" "Gilligan." "(Gilligan giggling)" "(Gilligan snoring)" "(Gilligan snoring)" "(Gilligan giggling)" "Gilligan!" "What's the matter?" "I can't fall asleep with all that snoring going on." "I don't hear anything." "Gilligan, I want you to go back to sleep, and I want you to sleep without snoring." "That is an order!" "Aye aye, sir." "(light music)" "Help, help, help, help!" "What is it, Gilligan?" "This island's sinking!" "The island's sinking!" "Help!" "Help!" " Gilligan!" "Help, help!" "Gilligan." "Skipper, Skipper." "Wake up, wake up, Gilligan!" "Wake up!" "You just told me to go to sleep." "Gilligan, you were having another one of your nightmares." "Oh yeah, and it was awful." "The island broke off and it started to float away, and then it started to melt." "Melt!" "Yeah, I'm scared, Skipper!" "Gilligan, your screams scared us half to death." "And you ruined my dream." "Paul Newman was chasing me." "You could've waited till he caught me." "Well Gilligan was having another one of his nightmares." "Yeah, yeah." "You see, he dreamed that the island was going down into the sea." "It was all..." "Let me tell them, huh?" "But I'm the skipper." "But it's my nightmare." "Tell us what happened." "It was awful, you see, the island broke off, and then it was just..." "Such blood-curdling screams." "It made poor little Teddy's fur stand on end." "Gilligan was having another one of his nightmares." "Oh how inconsiderate." "Must he have nightmares at night when everyone's asleep?" "From now on, Gilligan, have daymares." "Have another nightmare, Gilligan?" "No thanks, I just had one, and it was awful." "You see what happened, the island broke loose and started floating away with all of us on it, and all the dirt changed to mud, and we started sliding, and the sharks came, da dum, da dum, and all the people started falling" "off one by one." "Women and children first, I trust." "(everyone talking)" "[Thurston] Scary, scary." "Now please, please, it was just a dream." "We've been on this island for 15 years, and we're perfectly safe." "I can assure you that Gilligan's dream has no significance whatsoever." "(dramatic music)" "(computers beeping)" "(warning beeping)" "(satellite blipping)" "(speaking in a foreign language)" "(warning beeping)" "(satellite blipping)" "(satellite exploding)" "(swirling music)" "(falling music)" "(jaunty music)" "Gilligan, this metal disk you found is marvelous, made of some strange alloy I've never seen before." "But it's turned this instrument into a real honest-to-goodness barometer." "Oh no, you're not stickin' anything in my mouth or anyplace else." "Barometer, Gilligan, not thermometer." "Anyway, we can finally predict the weather again, and thanks to this disk, with remarkable accuracy." "That's good news." "I'm gonna tell the others." "Now hold on, Gilligan." "According to this instrument, there's a raging storm approaching the island." "That's bad." "But it won't get here for a couple of days." "That's good." "And the gyrations of this needle indicate that the storm will cause a gigantic tidal wave that'll completely wash over the island." "That's bad." "However, that wave will be so strong that it could force a boat into the shipping lanes so we can finally be rescued." "That's good." "Only we don't have a boat." "That's bad." "Or is that good?" "I lost track." "I'm afraid it's bad, Gilligan." "However, there's one good part." "None of the others know about this." "There's one bad part." "What's that?" "I do." "Gilligan, I am relying on you to keep this between us while I try to determine a solution." "There's no reason for the others to be upset." "Now, mum's the word." "But, Professor, I..." "No buts, Gilligan." "Mum's the word." "Now, what's the word?" "Mum." "Mum." "(jaunty music)" "Hi there, Gilligan." "Give me a hand with this trap, will ya?" "Mum." "Mum what?" "Mum's the word." "About what?" "If I told ya, it wouldn't be mum." "Who told you to keep it mum?" "The professor." "The professor?" "If the professor told you to keep something mum, it must be serious." "Is it serious?" "Mum." "Very serious?" "Mum mum." "Very very serious?" "Mum mum mum." "Are our lives at stake?" "Mum mum mum mum mum mum mum." "Gosh, I've gotta find out about this." "Remember, I didn't tell you anything." "I kept it mum." "Gilligan, Gilligan, what is going on?" "The captain ran past us, and he seemed terribly, terribly upset." "We tried to talk to him, but he ignored us." "Imagine, ignoring the passengers, and he's only the crew." "Well if you know something, tell us, say something." "Mum." "I'm not your mom, Gilligan." "Well I'm not your dad, either, but speak up my boy." "I can't." "The professor made me promise to keep it mum." "Now you don't want me to break the promise to the professor do you?" "To put it in words of one syllable, ahyhas." "Well I always say, if a secret's not worth sharing, it's not worth keeping." "I don't quite know what that means, but I always say it." "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Howell, my lips are sealed." "Sealed lips are a child's game." "Now this cash, cash, that's a man's game." "Just tell us one thing, Gilligan, is it good news or bad news?" "Both." "Well tell us the good news." "Bad news is for peasants." "Well it's kinda mixed up good news and bad news." "We might be rescued, but there's a..." "Rescued, rescued!" "Did you hear that, Lovey?" "Oh a rescue!" "Oh dear, what does one wear to a rescue?" "Perhaps something pale blue." "If it's a gray ship, that should go nicely." "Of course, darling, I must wear an evening dress." "What to help us get rescued, I'd wear an evening gown myself, strapless, you know what I mean?" "But how can that boy confuse a rescue with bad news?" "Rescue and bad news." "You know, he's always been bad news." "Rescue?" "Bad news?" "Gilligan, do you know what's going on?" "Mum's the word." "Gilligan, I just saw the Howells, and they were talking about what to wear to a rescue, and something about bad news." "Do you know anything about it?" "You do know something about it." "Ooh, you'd really like to tell Ginger all about it, wouldn't you?" "I know you would, 'cause you always like to tell Ginger your secrets." "Now be a good boy." "Tell me all about it." "My lips are sealed." "Sealing your lips is a child's game." "That's what Mr. Howell said, too." "Well," "(sexy music) unsealing them is a woman's game." "Hmm?" "Waa, I like your game a lot better than Mr. Howell's." "Now Gilligan, what is it that you were going to tell me?" "Mum's the word." "What does that mean?" "Mum means mum." "Mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum mum." "Hi, what's going on?" "I overheard Mr. and Mrs. Howell talking about a rescue and bad news, and Gilligan knows something, and he won't tell me." "Rescue?" "Bad news?" "Oh Gilligan, you've gotta tell us what ya know." "I can't." "I promised not to say anything, and for once in my life, I'm not going to." "Oh, you don't have to." "People who make promises should keep them." "You don't have to tell us a thing." "Well thanks, Mary Ann." "You'll never get another piece of my coconut cream pie." "Mum." "Or my banana cream pie." "Ah mum." "Or my pineapple cream pie." "Oh mum mum mum mum mum." "But Gilligan said that our lives are at stake!" "Will I miss the opening of the New York Stock Exchange?" "Will it be afternoon or evening?" "It does make a difference, you know, in what one wears." "I'd rather land in L.A., it's closer to Hollywood." "Gilligan said there was bad news, too." "Mum, Gilligan?" "Why are our lives at stake?" "(everyone asking questions)" "All right." "I will tell you what I know." "All right." "As you are aware, the radio and all the rest of my instruments haven't worked for over 10 years, but two days ago, Gilligan found this strange metal disk, and due to its incredible conductivity," "I was able to fix the barometer." "There's a major storm heading for the island." "Oh, we've weathered a lot of storms, Professor." "Ah, but this storm's magnitude has created a tsunami." "Tsunami!" "Oh no, a tsunami!" "What's a tsunami?" "Gilligan, that's an islander word for tremendous tidal wave!" "A wave that will cover the island, and sweep us all into the sea." "That's what I calla real permanent wave." "You mean we'll all die?" "The upper class, too?" "Actually, this tidal wave may be our way off the island and back to civilization." "I haven't worked out the details, but uh..." "I have only one thing to say, Professor." "Work out the details." "What is your idea, Professor?" "To lash all our huts together." "You mean tie them together with the ropes we made of hemp?" "Exactly." "That way, we can ride out the storm no matter how severe it is." "I got the idea from the South American Indians who invented the outrigger canoe." "The heavy surf would always upset their canoes, but they found that by lashing three canoes together, they'd stay afloat." "That's a great idea, Professor!" "It's just a question of having enough bottom!" "If that's the question, Skipper, you sure got the answer." "You mean, Professor, that you can make a sea-worthy craft by lashing our huts together." "Right." "Well, congratulations." "You've invented a huts boat." "A huts boat, (laughing)I just coined a word." "Thurston, coins are beneath you." "Oh, it's just an expression, my dear." "How much time have we got, Professor?" "Three maybe four days at the most." "What can we do to help?" "Well, we need provisions." "We need more hemp for rope, but most important, we have to find a way to move the huts together and tie them." "Thurston, let them take care of the trivia." "We must pack our clothes." "And our money." "Well." "(serious music)" "What seems to be the problem, Professor?" "Well, it's not fitting for some reason." "Skipper, give me a boost." "I can get it." "All right, little buddy, put your right foot right in my hand and away!" "Uh!" "I think you got me a little too high, Skipper." "Gilligan, come down from there this minute." "Look out below!" "(Skipper struggling)" "No, Skipper!" "Skipper!" "No!" "Ooh!" "(light music)" "Well, it's all set, folks." "I just have to synchronize the winch to the axle, and we're ready to raise the huts." "Mr. Howell, do you really think he can put the three huts together?" "Well, I don't know." "It's not my kind of merger." "Oh, I do hope there'll be first class accommodations, on the upper deck, of course." "It's too bad Charlton Heston isn't here." "We could use a good old-fashioned miracle." "Well, gentlemen, I think we're ready." "Skipper, you're the strongest, good luck." "Good luck, Skipper." "(pondering music)" "(hut creaking)" "It's working, Skipper, you're raising it." "Good show, Captain." "Come on, Skipper, we're all counting on you." "That's my big buddy." "That's it, Skipper, it's high enough." "All right now, folks, we're all going to have to work together." "Everybody." "All right now, folks, easy does it." "We have to reposition the huts so that we can attach it to the others." "All right?" "Right along that wall." "That's it." "Now, here we go." "Bring it to me." "A little more, a little more." "Just a touch." "That's it." "We can let it down right here." "Let me do it, huh, Professor?" "Gilligan, it has to be let down nice and easy." "You can depend on me." "(light music)" "[Several Castaways] Okay, Gilligan." "(wheel rumbling)" "[All] Gilligan!" "Gilligan!" "Agh!" "Gilligan!" "[Skipper] Gilligan!" "[Ginger] Gilligan!" "(wind howling)" "(thunder clapping)" "(lightning cracking)" "Here, Professor, I got the rope." "Tie it around the hut real good." "All right, good work, Gilligan, now help me tie it off." "Oh yeah, do it in a shank sheep." "A what?" "A sheep sheep." "A shank shank?" "(wind howling)" "Just in time." "According to my calculations, that tidal wave will hit within minutes." "Uh huh." "Please, Mrs. Howell, we have to bind ourselves to these poles." "When that tidal wave hits, these ropes'll save your life." "Oh I'm sorry, Professor, but they'll wrinkle my clothes." "There must be another way." "Mrs. Howell, what is more important, saving your life or wrinkling your clothes?" "Well?" "Just a moment, I'm thinking." "Oh, all right." "(thunder clapping)" "See, Mr. Howell, Mrs. Howell realizes how important this is." "Now let me help you." "No, no, a thousand times no." "In this position, I couldn't possibly reach my wallet." "Hold still, please, Mr. Howell." "Or my credit cards." "See, Skipper, I'm tyin' myself to the poles." "That's fine, little buddy, but we've got to see to the passengers' safety first." "Now go help the girls." "Aye aye, sir, passengers' first." "Hey, Ginger, let me help you." "Thank you, Gilligan." "It's a bad storm, Ginger." "Don't stop, Gilligan." "This is no time to be modest." "Well, I can't." "My life is at stake." "Yeah, but Ginger, mm." "Just think of me as one of the boys." "(thunder crashing)" "One of the boys, okay." "Boy, boy, boy, boy, oh boy." "Now, make a knot." "Here, put your finger." "Remember, one of the boys." "Oh boy." "Gilligan!" "Get me now." "I can't get the ropes any higher." "I know, let me help you." "(lightning cracking)" "Hurry up, we don't have much time." "You tied Ginger." "She's just one of the boys." "Oh, well think of me as your sister." "Sister, that's a good idea, yeah." "Sister, sister, sister, oh brother." "Nice work, little buddy, now lash yourself to a pole." "Yeah." "Now I know we're going to come through this just fine." "We're all together in this hut." "Our provisions are lashed down in the other huts." "I won't kid you, it's not going to be easy, but we'll make it, all of us." "(thunder crashing)" "Fifi, Fifi isn't here!" "Thurston, we forgot Fifi!" "Fifi?" "Oh, that poor little poodle." "She'll never hear us over all this storm." "Won't somebody please go get Fifi?" "Oh, Fifi, here Fifi Fifi Fifi!" "Here Fifi Fifi Fifi!" "Fifi?" "Fifi?" "[Professor] Fifi?" "[Gilligan] I'll go get her for you Mrs. Howell." "[Skipper] Gilligan!" "(thunder crashing)" "(wind howling)" "Thurston, do you think we'll find her in time?" "I doubt it, my dear." "Oh Thurston, how can you be so cruel?" "How can you say such a thing?" "Lovey, because we didn't take Fifi with us." "Don't you remember?" "We left her at home on the paper." "We did?" "Fifteen years ago." "Gilligan's out there, and I'm goin' after him." "Skipper, you'll never find him in that storm." "And he's my little buddy, and nothing's gonna stop me." "(wind howling)" "Fifi!" "Here Fifi!" "I better get back to the huts." "(wind whipping)" "(thunder rumbling)" "(lightning cracking)" "(wind howling)" "(dramatic music)" "(wave crashing)" "(peaceful music)" "Ah, thank heavens, the storm is over." "I think I'll take a look around and see if the island has suffered any damage." "(moves to perilous music)" "Help!" "Help!" "Save me!" "Save me!" "I'm too rich to drown!" "It's Thurston." "Thurston, where are you?" "Outside!" "Somebody do something!" "I'm coming, Mr. Howell!" "Come on, Mr. Howell." "I should have warned you about that first step." "It's a trifle damp." "[Professor] All right, here we go." "Give me your hand, Mr. Howell." "Oh darling, why didn't you swim?" "I can't." "Remember, Lovey, I had the butler take the swimming lessons for me." "Oh Professor, you were right." "We're at sea." "We might even be in the shipping lanes." "Maybe we can be rescued." "Maybe by a six-foot-four marine." "You were so right, Professor, lashing all the huts together did help us ride out the tidal wave." "Ha ha ha, and we're all safe and sound." "(laughing)" "Gilligan!" "Gilligan!" "Gilligan?" "Gilligan!" "Gilligan." "Gilligan!" "[Several] Gilligan!" "Gilligan!" "Gilligan!" "Gilligan!" "Gilligan!" "Gilli, he's not here!" "Oh, if anything happened to Gilligan, it's all my fault." "You mustn't blame yourself, Lovey." "But I sent him out to look for Fifi." "Who else could I blame?" "Well I don't know, but certainly not a Howell." "Oh, it's all my fault." "I should've gone after my little buddy in the first place." "Oh, you tried, Skipper." "You tried." "I'll never forget how he tied me up and saved my life." "My little buddy." "That brave, brave boy." "Inside that skinny little lad was a heart the size of Fort Knox." "I'll never forget Gilligan." "I think we should all take a few moments and remember him in our own way." "(sad music)" "(moves to adventurous music)" "Help!" "Help, Skipper!" "Why, I can hear my little buddy calling my name just like he was still here." "Help, Professor!" "That's odd, now I can hear him calling me." "That's not odd at all." "It's the dear boy reaching out to us from the great beyond." "Help, Ginger, Mary Ann!" "Ginger, do you believe in ghosts?" "No, but I believe Gilligan's haunting this hut." "Help!" "Mr. and Mrs. Howell, somebody!" "Somebody?" "How informal." "That's Gilligan, and it sounds like he's just beyond that wall." "Little buddy, Gilligan!" "He's out there, everybody, and he's okay!" "(joyful shouts)" "[Professor] Let's go, hurry, hurry." "[Thurston] After you, Lovey, careful." "He's hanging on to a palm tree attached to us by a rope!" "Gilligan!" "Gilligan!" "Let's enlarge the hole and pull him in." "Well stand back, Professor." "If my head made this little hole," "I know how to make a great big one, ha ha ha ha." "All right now, let's all pull together." "Mary Ann, Ginger, Professor." "[All] Heave ho!" "Heave ho!" "Heave ho!" "Heave ho!" "(dramatic music)" "How'd you do it, little buddy?" "How'd you wind up in a palm tree?" "I was out looking for Fifi." "I was yelling here Fifi, here." "Mrs. Howell, you didn't bring Fifi." "Oh, I'd forgotten, Gilligan, but the important thing is, that you risked your life, and that was very gallant of you and should be rewarded." "Thurston, buy him something, a Congressional Medal of Honor." "I'll do even better." "I'll buy him Congress. (Laughing)" "Well we're all very proud of you, little buddy, but you haven't told us what happened." "Well Skipper, what happened was, I was out there looking for Fifi, yelling Fifi, Fifi, and this wind starting coming really strong, shh, then the thunder, booh, and the lightning, psh psh," "and then the rain was coming sideways, shh, and straight, shh, and the wind was blowing so hard, I was bouncing from palm tree to palm tree, like boing, boing." "Then I remembered Mrs. Howell didn't bring Fifi, so I started back for the huts, and I looked up, and I saw this giant wave, as big as a mountain." "So I looked around, and I grabbed this rope, see, and I lashed myself to a palm tree like this." "Then I looked up, and the wave was there, and it came down, and there was a big jerk." "(perilous music)" "[Skipper] Gilligan!" "Shark!" "(light adventurous music)" "I'm gonna jump in and save him!" "I better help." "Egad, this is no time to play follow the leader." "There's only one thing that can save them now, a girl." "A girl?" "Oh Ginger, you're not thinking of..." "No, a girl shark." "Look over there." "But how do we know it's a girl shark?" "(romantic music)" "Look, the shark let go of the rope!" "(speaking in a foreign language)" "There you are." "Captain, (speaking in a foreign language)" "Gilligan. (Laughing)" "♫ Row, row, row your hut" "♫ Gently down the stream" "♫ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily" "♫ Life is so dreary" "Thurston, is this what they call work?" "I'm afraid so, my dear." "Good, it's about time we learned how the other half lives." "Row, Lovey." "Oh, I can't row any more." "My hands ache, my arms ache, even my aches ache." "Oh, when I get back to the farm," "I'm going to have to milk the cow standing up." "How 'bout it, Professor, are we making any progress?" "Well we've been rowing for over two days, and as near as I can tell, we've completed a circle." "A circle?" "You mean we're right back where we started from?" "Exactly." "I thought those waves looked familiar." "Uh, Captain, can you give me one good reason why you haven't hoisted our sail?" "Yes, Mr. Howell, we don't have a sail." "Can you give me another good reason?" "Mr. Howell, we can't even make a sail." "All we've got is the clothes on our backs." "I'll donate my dress to make a sail!" "Yes, and I'll donate my shirt." "Skipper, why don't you donate your pants." "We can fill 'em with air and fly to Hawaii." "Very funny." "Thurston, I think it's time we made the supreme sacrifice." "You're right, my dear." "You have permission to use the Howell clothes." "Run up my dinner jacket. (Laughing)" "(sailing music)" "I see you girls are getting into shape." "Yes, when I get back to the farm, there's gonna be a lot of work to do." "I have to build up my stamina, too." "Is acting that strenuous?" "No, but some producers are." "Darling, what's the first thing you plan to do when we arrive in civilization?" "Kiss Wall Street. (Laughing)" "I just wanna get home." "Home sweet home, and I know exactly what I'm going to do the first day." "What's that, my dear?" "Count the servants." "They haven't been paid in 15 years." "Some of them may have left." "Well in that case, good riddance." "One thing I can't stand is disloyalty." "Skipper, bet I know what you're thinking about." "(laughing)" "That's what I thought." "You've got about 15 minutes before you relieve Gilligan on watch." "Thanks, Professor, that's just enough time for me to go through my list of girlfriends again." "(laughing)" "Boy, after nothing but coconuts and bananas for days and days, everybody's gonna be so surprised when they have fresh fish for dinner." "Mmm, boy, broiled snapper." "Everybody's gonna be so happy." "Hey everybody, I got some good news." "You spotted a rescue boat?" "No, that'd be great news." "All I've got is good news." "Hey, we're havin' broiled snapper for dinner." "Broiled?" "Uh huh." "How are you cooking it?" "With a fire." "With a fire?" "Where did you build a fire?" "On the deck." "On the deck?" "(fire erupting)" "(helicopter whirring)" "(majestic music)" "(perilous music)" "(moves to majestic music)" "Boyd bridge, copter 1445." "Smoke of undetermined origin at approximately 2-3-0, proceeding to investigate." "Boyd bridge, copter 1445,smoke may be distress signal to a very strange-looking craft." "Proceed and assist." "Of all the dumb, idiotic, thoughtless things that you've ever done." "I was only tryin' to cook the fish." "Yeah, but you almost cooked us." "That would've been the end of the rescue." "(helicopter whirring)" "(gentle music)" "I can't believe it." "After 15 years, we're finally rescued." "Rescued." "Rescued." "Rescued." "Rescued." "Rescued." "Rescued." "[Skipper, Gilligan And Professor] Hey, hey, down here!" "Hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Ahoy, down there!" "The Coast Guard cutter is on the way." "Good thinking, folks." "Starting that fire saved your lives." "We never would've seen you without that smoke." "I'll stay with you until the cutter arrives." "If you're okay, wave." "(castaways cheering)" "We're fine!" "Thanks to Gilligan." "I knew you could do it, little buddy." "(laughing)" "[Newscaster] Gentlemen, this is Marshall Rogers," "ABEX Hawaii, and this is one of the most exciting moments in the history of the Honolulu Yacht Harbor." "(marching band music)" "After 15 years on a tiny uncharted island somewhere in the Pacific, the seven castaways have finally been rescued, and they're on their way back to civilization." "(boat horns honking)" "That must be Gilligan up thereon top doing the steering." "Thousands of people are gathered here to welcome the passengers and crew of the ill-fated Minnow, shipwrecked so long ago." "Here they come into the marina now." "Rescued in the very huts in which they lived on the island." "(crowd cheering)" "Look at all the boats that turned out to greet them." "And the fire boat giving them a real hero's welcome." "Here's the governor's aid to give them an official welcome to Honolulu and the USA." "Newsmen and photographers are swarming all over the place trying to get a glimpse of the happy group missing for so many years." "And look at that mob waving and cheering." "They've come from all parts of Hawaii to say aloha to the long-lost castaways." "(crowd cheering)" "Aloha." "[Castawyas] Aloha." "On behalf of the governor of Hawaii, may I present you with the key to the city." "Oh, it must open some big door, huh?" "(laughing)" "The entire world was thrilled when the Coast Guard radioed word of your rescue after 15 years." "Telegrams and calls have been pouring in." "I'd like to present you with the most important one first." "This telegram is from Jimmy Carter." "Jimmy who?" "Jimmy Carter." "He's the president now." "He succeeded Ford." "Ford who?" "Gerald Ford." "He came after Watergate." "Watergate who?" "Oh, I'm afraid we've been away a long time." "Yes, it seems that everything has changed." "(sexy music)" "I'm certainly glad that some things haven't changed." "It sure beats getting lost." "(laughing)" "(crowd applauding)" "(happy music)" "(horns honking)" "(crowd cheering)" "(sinister music)" "Stupid capitalist parade for stupid castaways." "(horns honking)" "(crowd cheering)" "(celebratory music)" "Welcome home, castaways." "You can tell by the enormous crowd that the country is delighted that you have finally been rescued." "Well we're delighted to be back." "Oh, I'll say." "It's wonderful." "Everyone is fascinated that you were rescued by a tidal wave." "Well actually, it was this disk that saved us." "Our barometer hadn't worked for years till Gilligan found this strange-looking disk in the water at the edge of the lagoon." "We have no idea where it came from." "Get a close up of the disk." "It seems to have properties of an alloy that I'm unable to identify, and due to the increased conductivity of this disk, I was able to adapt my crude barometer and predict the tidal wave." "It's possible?" "Yes, it's the recording disk from spy satellite." "Must notify chief of secret police immediately." "You stay." "Find out what you can." "So this disk turned out to be a truly good luck charm, that's why the rest of us decided that." "Gilligan should keep it." "And I'll never take it off, ever." "[News Man] You're all back here in civilization, what happens now?" "Well the fact is later on, we're gonna all get together for a great big Christmas reunion on my new boat, but for the present, I guess we're all going our separate ways." "Yes, I think we're all going our own separate ways." "Oh Thurston, our separate ways?" "Not you and me, Lovey, it's just a figure of speech." "Yes, well, I'll be taking this profile back to all of my fans." "I'm going back to the farm and to Herbert, my fiance." "And I to my bunsen burners and test tubes." "I guess we're all just going our separate ways." "[News Man] Thank you very much," "Thank you." " Good luck to all of you." "Thank you." "It's nice to be here." "(gentle music)" "(moves to dark music)" "We are ordered to recover disk at any cost." "No risk is too great." "Risk will not be ours." "It will be skinny one." "The one they call Gilligan." "He is wearing disk around neck." "[Thurston] Any time you want me to endow your college." "(happy music)" "Gilligan, why did you tap me on the shoulder?" "Because I didn't want to talk and bother you." "I finished varnishing the chairs." "That's very good, Gilligan." "Now, why don't you go topside and start working." "That way, you won't bother me anymore." "Aye aye, sir." "Uh." "Thanks a lot, Gilligan!" "Now get topside!" "Aye aye, sir." "Aye aye, oh!" "Just think, Gilligan, when the check comes from the insurance company today..." "Then we can pay off the balance, and the Minnow II is ours." "Ours?" "Well can't I have a little teeny weeny piece?" "Okay, you can have a little teeny weeny piece." "Thank you, partner." "Partner?" "Just keep working up there." "We've got to be ready for the start of the charter season." "Aye aye, sir." "Just think what we missed during the past 15 years." "Three different presidents, astronauts walking on the moon, and miniskirts." "We even missed the miniskirt." "What are miniskirts." "Remember when we left, women's skirts were clear down to here." "While we were gone, they came up to here." "Now they're back down to here again." "Gilligan, we missed from here to here." "Dropped my paint brush." "Why don't you stop varnishing, and come down from there, and go get the morning mail." "Maybe the check from the insurance company will arrive today, and then the Minnow II will be all mine!" "Ha ha." "I'll go get the mail." "I do hope that check gets here today." "We'll be sitting on top of the world." "Ha ha ha!" "Gilligan!" "You didn't." "I mean, now, you wouldn't?" "Bet I did." "What is dumber than varnishing the seat of a chair?" "Sitting in a chair that's just been var..." "Gilligan, get me outta this!" "(troublesome music)" "(pants ripping) Ugh!" "Gilligan, go get the mail 'cause if I see you in my sight, I'll... (bucket spilling)" "(light music)" "Look, he comes now." "I do talking." "Why should you do talking?" "Idiot, because you have accent." "(sinister music)" "You are sailor?" "Yeah, I'm first mate on the Minnow II and a very teeny little partner." "We are sailors also." "Both of us." "Nice necklace you're wearing." "It's my good luck charm." "In my country, is old custom," "I give you my good luck charm for your good luck charm." "It's solid gold." "No, I wouldn't part with this for my life." "Every man have price." "Well, I gotta go." "Wait." " No, I gotta check about a check." "(disappointed music)" "(moves to light music)" "Skipper, I got it, I got it." "At last." "It was in the mail." "Well, give me the letter." "You know it was in a big sack of mail." "The mailman made me wait." "Will you give me the letter?" "Oh yeah, there it is, the good old check for the good old Minnow II, huh?" "There's no check in it!" "Why not?" "Why not?" "Why not, even you can understand that!" "It's written in English." "It's as plain as the nose on your face, all the whys and wherefores, can't you understand that?" "I can't get past dear sir." "Gilligan, it says here that the insurance company will not pay me until I can prove that the shipwreck was not my fault." "Don't they trust you?" "Gilligan, it's not like we were back on the island, where we all trusted each other." "We're back in civilization, dog eat dog." "It was never dog eat dog on the island, except for Fifi, and she wasn't even there." "Right." "Well at any rate, I can't collect my money until I can get everyone on board to sign this affidavit and swear that the accident was not my fault." "Now you're gonna be the first one." "Here's a pen." "I'm gonna sit right here." "You use my knee to write on, and sign that, Gilligan." "Gilligan!" "Skipper, you gotta stop sitting in chairs that have already been varnished." "Will you get away from me!" "Ahh.- before I varnish you!" "(sinister music)" "Why we roll out the barrel?" "We knock Gilligan down with this." "Then we take disk." "Good idea." "(lively music)" "Hey Skipper, wait for me!" "(romantic music)" "Come on, baby, that's not fair." "Fair?" "Is that what you said, Tony, fair?" "What's fair about a part-time love?" "What's fair about promises you don't keep?" "What's fair about lies?" "Lies?" "Goodbye, Tony." "You've gotta be kidding." "I said goodbye." "You really mean it." "Chow." "You'll be callin' me, baby." "You'll be callin' me." "(Ginger sighing)" "[Director] Cut." "Print." "(bell ringing)" "That's what I said, JJ, lousy, just plain lousy." "Would you like to elaborate on that, Mr. Producer?" "Darling, I wouldn't ask him that." "Well..." " Who picked out that ridiculous dress you're wearing?" "I did." "I want to see less material and more you." "Well what ta you want me to wear, a Band Aid?" "Would you?" "Where's that costume he picked out for this scene?" "I've got it right here." "Would you let your wife wear this?" "Which wife?" "Your daughter?" "Now that's hitting below the belt." "Well that's the problem." "There's nothing below the belt or above it." "JJ, we've got the whole crew waiting." "Why don't we skip to the shower scene?" "I'm sorry, no shower scene." "Okay, okay, make it a bath." "I'm not gonna do a nude scene." "Who said nude?" "Let her have a cake of soap." "Soap, Sam." "No way." "And a washcloth." "Washcloth, Sam." "You can use the washcloth and the soap on the script." "It's filthy." "You were on that island too long." "This, this is modern writing, as modern as today's newspaper." "Then use it to wrap fish." "I'm paying you a fortune to make this picture, and you'll make it my way." "Well if you want it your way, you wear it." "You're the director." "Get her back on the set." "Oh right, wait, wait, wait!" "Ginger?" "Are you decent?" "Of course, that's why I'm having all this trouble." "[Director] The producer is ordering you back on the set, what's your answer?" "(dramatic music)" "(door slamming)" "(light music)" "Pardon us, sir, we're looking for a friend." "I'm a producer." "I don't have any friends." "Do you know Ginger Grant?" "Yeah, she kinda looks like this." "With all those clothes on, how can anyone tell?" "Your friend is in her dressing room." "Let's go see what's going on with Ginger." "And get her to sign the insurance paper, so we can get the money for the boat." "Now let's not be selfish, Gilligan." "First her problem and then the insurance paper." "Right, first her problem, second the insurance paper." "That's right." "Ginger?" "It's the Skipper." "[Gilligan] And Gilligan!" "Skipper!" "(Laughing)" "Gilligan!" "First, what's your problem, Ginger, second, will you sign the insurance papers?" "Ah Gilligan, never mind.- You said first we ask her what the problem is-Okay, okay." "What's wrong, Ginger?" "Well, this is what's wrong." "I've never read anything so terrible." "It's full of four-letter words." "Oh yeah?" "She's right, Skipper." "You can't imagine how many four-letter words." "When, this, from, both, like, all four-letter words." "Where, uh, that's a five-letter word." "Gilligan, I don't think those words are what are bothering her." "There's a lot of words in here I don't even understand what they mean." "Look at this one here, it starts with a..." "Never mind, Gilligan." "Skipper, things have changed so much while we were on the island." "They used to make beautiful movies with beautiful costumes." "Ginger, you'd look good in anything." "But they think I'd look better in nothing." "Nothing?" "Nothing but a smile." "Oh, a big smile or a small smile?" "What difference does it make?" "Well, if it's a really big smile..." "Gilligan, never mind." "I guess that producer figures that's the only way to make money, pictures with dirty words and no clothes." "Well maybe he's right." "I've seen a lot of movies since we've been rescued." "I saw Star Wars." "They have little spaceships with red lights and blinking green lights, and they have this big fight, and they gozew, buh, zew, zew, zew, zew zew zew buh, zew zew buh." "And how 'bout the robot, R2D2?" "There's nothing dirty in that." "R2D2 is a four-letter word." "[Ginger] Gilligan, there was no nudity or dirty words in Star Wars." "How 'bout Jaws?" "That big shark goin' around, da dum, da dum mmm." "Nothing dirty about that picture, either." "[Gilligan] How about Julia?" "[Ginger] No nudes, no dirty words." "They must a lost a lot of money." "Gilligan, they made hundreds of millions." "Am I intruding?" "Yes." "We're the friend of Ginger's from the island." "First we have to find out what her problem is." "Second, we're gonna have her sign the paper." "Gilligan." "Sorry to interrupt, but there's been a little misunderstanding." "Now, who told you I wanted you to do a nude scene and those dirty words in the script?" "You did." "I was joking." "These actresses, they can never take a joke." "(laughing)" "I wouldn't make a picture I couldn't take my mother to see." "Ready when you are, Ginger?" "(gentle music)" "I don't know how you two did it, but then," "I never did understand how you did anything anyway." "Oh, you wanted me to sign something, didn't you?" "Oh yes." "Ginger, the insurance company, you see..." "I'll sign anything." "I love you two guys." "Skipper, love's a four-letter word." "What's wrong with that?" "Nothing, little buddy, absolutely nothing." "Yes, Chief, we understand need for urgency." "We have subject under surveillance." "We have disk very soon." "(slow cowboy music)" "You all right, partner?" "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine." "Please, forgive friend." "We have part in cowboy picture, practice throwing rope." "Can you get it off me, please?" "Oh, we help." "We tie him up, take disk." "Gilligan!" "(stately music)" "(hand knocking)" "(hand knocking)" "Professor!" "Girls, you shouldn't rush in on my like that!" "Well we kept on knocking, but you didn't answer." "Well, I'm sorry, but I'm very busy." "You'll have to come back some other time." "Oh." "No, we have to talk to you now." "You've just been elected homecoming king for the big game!" "We even have a special cheer for you." "Come on, girls." "Rickety rack rickety rack, we're so happy the professor's back!" "Rickety ren rickety roo, we'll never let him go again!" "Woo!" "Girls, please, please." "I am in the middle of an experiment." "But don't you like the cheer?" "Well yes, it's very clever, but I have no time for these things." "Oh please, you've gotta be the homecoming king." "Besides, I thought you girls always elected a romantic figure as homecoming king." "How about a movie star like, uh, Tab Hunter?" "(girls giggling)" "You're kidding?" "You were on that island a long time." "You're a romantic figure now, Professor." "Missing all those years on some mysterious tropical island." "You've got every girl in school turned on." "Turned on?" "Oh, he's so macho!" "Macho?" "(girls giggling)" "Come on, let's do the cheer again." "No, no, please girls." "I have work to do." "Dah dah dah dah dah dah, and." "Rickey rack rickety rack, we're so happy the Professor's back." "Rickety ren, rickety roo, we'll never let him go again!" "Woo!" "All right, all right." "I will be the homecoming king." "Now please, please, let me get back to my work." "Yea!" "Rickety rack, rickety rack, we're so happy the Professor's back." "Rickety ren, rickety roo, we'll never let him go again!" "(hand knocking)" "Who is it?" "[Woman] Miss Aims worth." "Oh, come in, Miss Aims worth, come in." "Ah, it is good to see a mature, intelligent woman." "Well thank you, Professor." "I have been interrupted all day long by young, impulsive females who do not understand the importance of scientific work." "I understand, Professor." "My anthropology department is also engaged in scientific study." "Ah, may I say Miss Aimsworth that your research is very well known, very well known indeed." "Currently, I'm preparing a study on tribal customs in remote parts of the world." "Oh, like the natives we sometimes encountered from nearby islands." "Exactly." "Perhaps you could tell me something about their tribal customs." "For example, their courtship rituals?" "Anything unusual?" "Oh, indeed, a significant part of the courtship procedure involved sharing coconut milk through a common straw." "I believe that crude straw was called a watoobi." "Fascinating, and so different from courtship in this country, where two people kiss like this." "(tango music)" "Please, Miss Aims worth, I have work to do." "So have I." "Oh, Miss Aims worth, turn off your macho." "(lips kissing)" "I wonder what the Professor's inventing now." "[Miss Aims worth] Oh!" "Good day, gentlemen." "I am constantly interrupted." "Women have become so aggressive since we were on the island." "Ain't that a shame." "Well anyway, gentlemen, I'm delighted to see you again." "Now what was that insurance problem you phoned about?" "Ah Professor, is that one of your experiments?" "Yes." " Mmm, mmm." "But it starts over there, Gilligan." "Oh wow, Professor, look at all this stuff." "I mean, how do you do all that?" "(glass breaking)" "Gilligan!" "Sorry, Professor." "Oh that's all right, Gilligan." "That's not part of my experiment." "You see, I was expecting you today, so I set that up especially for you." "Well thanks, Professor." "I really must get back to my work." "I've isolated a new organic polymer." "A heavy plastic that's impervious to weather and virtually indestructible." "Right now, I'm trying to think of a good use for it." "Here's what it looks like." "Huh huh." "Say, perhaps it would make a good toy." "Say, perhaps you could call it a Frisbee." "Frisbee?" "Why Frisbee?" "Because that's its name." "I don't like to tell you this, Professor, but really this has been on the market for quite a while." "Well, that's what comes from being on the island all those years." "Last week I invented the electric toothbrush, the week before, pantyhose." "Why don't you invent something that hasn't been invented before?" "Gilligan, he knows that already!" "Only an idiot would invent something that's already been invented!" "I'm sorry, Professor, but I'm trying..." "It's all right, Skipper." "In my anxiety to create the things I dreamed about on the island, I failed to recognize that some of them might have been created in my absence." "For example." "(gasps) A skateboard." "So I found out." "And I thought I was going to revolutionize the furniture-moving industry." "Do you mind if I try it?" "Well help yourself, Gilligan." "Now Skipper, about that insurance paper." "(Gilligan crashing)" "Yes, Professor." "I need your signature." "I've got a paper here for you to read." "Ah yes." "(wheels rolling)" "Oop!" "Of all people, one of the most brilliant men in the country!" "Thank you, but who is he?" "Gilligan, the Professor was talking about him." "I'm sorry, Dean, these are my good friends, the Skipper and Gilligan." "How do you do, sir." " How do you do." "We were all shipwrecked together on the island." "You spent 15 years with him?" "Yes, sir." "When the Professor first met me, I was a young stupid kid." "He's made me what I am today." "Gilligan, why don't we leave these gentlemen alone." "I'm sure they've got important matters to talk over, academic paraphernalia..." "As a matter of fact, I've been trying to meet with you for a month, Professor." "Well, I'm sorry about that, Dean, but I've been terribly, terribly busy." "Gilligan, why don't we take a walk around the campus?" "Well that's a good idea, Skipper." "I'll see you later." "Nice to have bumped into you." "Come along." " Good day, gentlemen." "Good day." "Professor, I'm afraid you've been neglecting your primary duty." "But I've taught all my classes, and I've been hard at work on my experiments.- Do you know how alumni meetings and foundations had you booked for speaking engagements?" "I'm sorry, Dean, but I've been..." "Professor, you are a celebrity." "Those people who hear you speak will donate money to the college." "That's public relations work." "Exactly." "You can make this the biggest school on the west coast." "Ah, but we're on the east coast." "That's how big I want it to be, understand?" "Big is not necessarily better, Dean." "My boy, let's sit down and discuss this on an equal basis, boss to employee." "(sinister music)" "Ah, fellow classmates, no?" "No." "We're just visiting an old friend." "We are exchange students." "Exchange students?" "Yeah, we exchange this for this." "No thanks." "Looks like a lotta money, little buddy." "I don't care." "My good luck charm's not for sale." "Sorry, gents." "Come on, Gilligan." "Don't worry." "We get them later, when they come out." "Hi, Dean." "(dean groaning)" "You sure have a beautiful campus." "He's not very polite." "Hi, Professor." "Hi, Gilligan." "What's the problem, Professor?" "Oh, they wanna use me to sweet-talk the alumni, make speeches and be in parades." "They don't care about my students, my research, my ideas." "I know back on the island, we cared about your research." "We didn't understand it, but we cared about it." "And we cared about each other, too." "I mean, you cared about the Howells." "The Howells cared about Ginger." "Ginger cared about Mary Ann." "Mary Ann cared about me..." "Oh, come on, Gilligan." "We know who all was on the island." "No, no, no, but Gilligan is right." "I mean, we always tried to help each other." "And I'll be happy to help you out now, Skipper." "May I say, you're insurance company is vindictive and ruthless." "No, it's Pacific and Western." "Gilligan, let the man sign the paper." "Oh, thanks a lot, Professor." "Don't forget, we'll see you on the boat at Christmas time." "(sinister music)" "Remembering plan." "When they come out of building, we stop skinny one." "You stop him, ask question." "While you are talking, I hit them over head with this." "Ooh, good idea." "While he is down, we get disk." "We get disk, we are heroes." "Look, they come out different door." "Quick, we take shortcut through field." "Oomph!" "Ya!" "(device beeping)" "[Chief] You got disk?" "No, Chief, not yet." "I bump into problem." "Ivan, problem bump into him, but not to worry, we have disk very soon." "Wherever skinny one goes, Ivan and Demetri will follow." "(light music)" "Excellent vintage, Howell." "Must have been a good year." "1492, I forget whether it came over on the Nina, the Pinta or the Santa Maria." "(laughing)" "Thurston, darling." "Excuse me, gentlemen, my wife." "Splendid idea that intercom." "Well the long distance." "See at first we considered carrier pigeons, and then for obvious reasons, we uh, reconsidered." "(laughing)" "Yes, Lovey, what is it?" "I think the ladies would like an after-dinner mint." "Would they like the mint in San Francisco or the one in Philadelphia?" "(laughing)" "That's my Thurston." "In spite of your shipwreck, Thurston, you seem in good shape." "Oh, I'm fit as a fiddle." "Stratovarius, of course." "(laughing)" "Have a cigar, Thurston." "Domestic, I'm afraid." "Uh, domestic, oh please." "Uh, Phillips?" "Where are our cigars from Havana?" "Uh, one moment, sir." "Yes." "(helicopter whirring)" "Just arriving, sir." "Thank you, Phillips." "Meanwhile, gentlemen, I think we can discuss that little business proposition you had in mind." "Ah yes, we have decided to issue a million shares of preferred stock and a million shares of common." "Make that two million preferred." "There's nothing common about a Howell enterprise." "Ha ha, a little financial joke." "(Spanish music)" "Thank you, Fidel." "We were considering your investment in the neighborhood of $100 million." "Well, I'm afraid I don't know anything about that neighborhood." "You see, I never go slumming." "My darling, without your leadership, there was no social season." "Without you on the symphony committee, the musical seasons were a disaster." "You're so flattering." "Oh and the ballet, without dear Lovey," "Swan Lake turned into Disco Duck." "(doorbell ringing)" "I promise you, now that I'm back, everything'll be different." "Oh definitely." "(doorbell ringing)" "And I certainly hope you'll ask Mr. Howell for some financial assistance." "Oh, I'll try, but sometimes Thurston treats me like a child." "When I want to talk about money he says," ""Oh, go play with your blocks."" "[Lady In Purple Dress] Your blocks?" "Yes, 42nd Street, 43rdStreet, 44th Street." "[Phillips] Yes?" "We're Gilligan and the Skipper." "[Phillips] Oh yes, from the island." "I'm Gilligan." "He was in charge of the shipwreck." "Uh uh, Gilligan." "I hope we're not intruding." "Mr. Howell wasn't expecting us." "[Phillips] Oh I'm sure he'll be delighted to see you." "Thank you." "So I said, now mind you, this is the funny part, you can't park it here. (Laughing)" "That's what I said." "(laughing)" "You had to be there, it was one of those." "Mr. Skipper and Mr. Gilligan to see." "Mr. and Mrs. Thurston Howell III." "Oh, Thurston!" "Gilligan!" "Captain!" "Isn't that the most amazing..." "Oh, dear, dear friends." "Oh, Mrs. Howell." " Why didn't you call ahead?" "So good to see you.- Well we would've called," "Mrs. Howell, but your phone number's unlisted." "So's your house." "Sorry, we didn't know you were having a party." "We would have..." "[Lovey] Oh you must stay and have dinner with us." "Oh thank you, no, we're really not hungry." "No, we're just starved." "Folks, I'd like you to meet some very dear and old friends of ours." "They were on the island with us." "Yes, this is the Captain, and this is Gilligan." "This is Mr. Devonshire, Mrs. Devonshire," "Mr. Fellows and Mrs. Fellows." "Oh, do stay and dine with us." "No actually, we have some private business to talk over." "It can wait, though." "No, nonsense, of course it can't." "We'll just be a second, folks." "Step into the library, will you?" "Oh, thank you, Mr. Howell." "Excuse us." "Yes, it's down one of the halls." "After you, Gilligan." "We'll see you later." "Yes, of course." "Old and dear friends?" "Aren't we fortunate, darling, never to have been shipwrecked?" "Mr. Howell, the insurance company has to pay me for Minnow I before I can pay for Minnow II." "Oh dear, we didn't know that you needed money." "Why didn't you ask me?" "I feel hurt, deeply hurt." "Grateful, perhaps, but hurt." "Oh well that's very nice of you, Mr. Howell, but that's my problem." "Now if you'll just sign here." "Anything that you want, Captain." "There you are." "[Male Dinner Guest] I don't believe it." "Oh Lovey, you forgot to turn off the intercom." "[Male Dinner Guest]Imagine being shipwrecked with that riffraff." "Which one of us is riff and which one is raff?" "[Male Dinner Guest] To suggest us to even meeting those two bores." "Thurston, those people are insulting the Skipper and Gilligan." "That is despicable." "I refuse to do business with people of such ilk." "Oh, it doesn't bother us, Mr. Howell." "Well, it bothers us." "I want them out of my house." "And off my land." "It'll take 'em two weeks to go down the driveway." "We heard everything you said." "The deal is off!" "Nobody shames my friends!" "Throw them out!" "And don't even validate their parking tickets." "This way, ladies and gentlemen." "Come along, my dear, let's go." "(guests muttering)" "[Male guest] Don't you think you're being just a bit unreasonable, Mr. Howell?" "Mr. Howell is never unreasonable." "[Thurston] Who are you?" "We are with them." "Then you're out, too!" "[Male guest] Get out of the way!" "(dramatic music)" "(organ music)" "(Mary Ann crying)" "(hand knocking)" "Oh, just a minute." "Come in." "Mary Ann, you look wonderful." "I feel wonderful, Cindy." "Not nervous, are you?" "No, why should I be nervous?" "It's traditional." "All brides are nervous." "I'm not, see." "Mary Ann, we've been best friends since we were kids." "What's going on?" "Well, Herbert loves me, and he's waited 15 years to marry me, the whole time I was on the island." "What are you trying to say?" "Oh Cindy, he's changed." "I've changed." "Nothing's the same anymore." "Oh, I don't love him." "Then you shouldn't marry him." "Cindy, he's waited 15 years!" "Mary Ann, you're making a mistake." "No, no, I am going through with this no matter what happens." "Oh Cindy, and I don't want you to tell anybody what I just told you." "But Mary Ann..." "Nobody." "Never ever." "Promise?" "Remember, like when we were kids?" "Right." "Now, we don't have much time." "See if you can put yourself together." "Oh, there are two men outside who say they are your old friends." "But you know all of my old friends." "Not these two." "One of them, well, so far, he's knocked down the bridal bower, two rows of chairs, flower arrangements..." "Gilligan?" "That's his name, and the other one is um..." "Skipper." "Do I send them away?" "Oh, no, but just give me a couple of minutes, okay?" "Right." "(Mary Ann crying)" "(hand knocking)" "Come in." "Mary Ann?" "You look wonderful. (Laughing)" "Oh, I'm so happy to see you." "Mary Ann, you look wonder..." "Oh, Gilligan, put her down." "You're wrecking her train." "As you can see, our little buddy is still his same old self." "How did you find out about the wedding?" "Well actually we didn't." "We came here to get your signature on a piece of paper." "First, we have to get the paper signed..." "Oh I was gonna surprise everybody at the Christmas party with my new husband." "Just think, Gilligan, Mary Ann waited 15 years for this day." "And Herbert Rucker's waited 15 years." "That is 30 years." "(Mary Ann crying)" "Isn't 15 and 1530?" "Yes, but I don't know how you do it, you always say the wrong thing." "Mary Ann, did I say the wrong thing?" "No, I'm the happiest girl in the whole world." "I'm just a little nervous." "But that's natural." "If she says she's happy, why is she crying?" "I always laugh when I'm happy." "Because you're not a bride." "Oh, I'm just so happy you could be here to see how happy I am on the happiest day of my life." "If she gets any happier, she's gonna drown herself." "All girls are happy on their wedding day." "Especially after 15 years, and he waited 15 years, that makes 30 years." "(Mary Ann crying)" "Oh, Gilligan, will you cut that out!" "What's wrong with saying 30 years?" "Unless a judge says it." "(hand knocking)" "Yes?" "[Cindy] Are you ready in there?" "Yes." "No." "[Cindy] Is it yes or no?" "We're ready." "She's not." "Just give me a couple of minutes, Cindy." "Will you both please stay for the wedding?" "It would be our pleasure." "Yeah, after 15 years, you gotta... (Mary Ann crying)" "I didn't mean it." "Let's get outta here." "Mary Ann." "(organ music)" "Sit right there on the aisle, and try not to trip the bride." "Pardon me." "(Cindy crying)" "Miss, why are you crying?" "You're not getting married." "That's why I'm crying." "Mary Ann's crying because she's getting married." "You're crying because you're not getting married." "Skipper?" "What?" "I don't know whether to throw rice or hankies." "Just sit there and be quiet, Gilligan." "Pardon me, you are friend of bride or groom?" "Of the bride." "You bring present?" "No, I didn't know there was gonna be a wedding." "It's never too late to give present." "Sure it is." "Necklace would be wonderful present." "Where would I buy a necklace now?" "It's best to give something you own." "Like old saying, something old, something new, something borrowed, right from you." "Gilligan!" "Now try to understand, little buddy," "Cindy's in love with Herbert." "That's why she's crying, and Herbert's in love with Cindy." "Well if Herbert's in love with Cindy, and Cindy's in love with Herbert, and Mary Ann is in love, who'd you say Mary Ann's in love with?" "Nobody, but that's the point." "But Mary Ann's marrying Herbert anyway." "Why?" "Because he waited 15 years for her, and she waited 15 years for him." "(Cindy crying)" "Oh no, now she's doing it." "You better stop saying 15 years." "Gilligan, it's up to us to straighten out this whole mix up." "(wedding march music)" "Oh, I don't think we can." "Why not?" "I think it's too late." "Excuse us." "Come on, Gilligan." "[Officiant] And do you, Herbert, take this woman," "Mary Ann, to love, honor, cherish and hold forever and ever as your lawful wedded wife?" "Hey little buddy, are you sure you know what to do?" "Don't worry about me." "Move it out." "[Officiant] Do you, Mary Ann, take Herbert to love, honor, cherish and hold forever and ever?" "(lively fiddle music)" "And Herbert's in love with Cindy, and Cindy's in love with Herbert." "I should've had the good sense to figure that out by myself." "I think we better stop talking and start doing something." "Skipper, let's go!" "Move it out!" "We take short cut through field." "Good idea." "[Mary Ann] Don't let 'em catch us!" "Skipper, go." "Come on, come on." "I can't go any faster!" "They're catching up." "I bet I can stop 'em." "(bowling ball striking)" "A strike, Skipper, a strike!" "I got a strike!" "Got a strike. (Laughing)" "They're getting up again." "(watermelons thudding)" "(laughing)" "(watermelons thudding)" "(laughing)" "Oh, look at 'em." "Yeah." "Where to, Mary Ann?" "I don't know." "Let's go back." "Oh, never." "Why not?" "Because, I am not going to marry Herbert Rucker." "(wedding march music)" "And why not?" "Because his wife won't let him." "(laughing)" "We did it!" "We did it, little sweetheart." "Gilligan?" "We're ready to get underway." "Cast off." "Aye aye, sir." "(sinister music)" "Ah, hey, you're steppin' on my hand." "Young man, please get up and be quiet." "You have something we want." "Oh, I know what you want, that big box of money Mr. Howell gave me?" "I'll go get it for you, okay?" "Hold it!" "Everyone please, putting hands in air." "He means put your hands up." "We all know what he means, Gilligan." "They want my box of money, Skipper." "You gentlemen want your own boxes of money?" "What denominations do you prefer?" "We're not interested in money." "Good heavens!" "They must be mad men." "We take what we want." "Wait a minute, that's my good luck charm." "Ha ha, lucky for us." "We give that to our government, we get medal!" "Hold it!" "I'll take that." "FBI." "Oh goody." "If you folks don't mind, we'll take these two along with us." "Will somebody tell us what this is all about?" "Can I have my good luck charm back?" "In due time." "Thanks to you, we captured these spies." "I want you to know that the government is greatly in your debt." "Why not?" "The government's greatly in debt to everyone else, too." "Let's go." "Gilligan, you're a hero!" "You were superb, dear boy." "(everyone praising Gilligan)" "Okay, hero, get ready to cast off." "Aye aye, sir." "(laughing)" "Okay, little buddy, I'll come and get ya." "Hang on." "(light music)" "I can't understand it, Gilligan." "Understand what, Skipper?" "Well, I set our course for that little island just off the coast." "Right." "Well it's been hours now." "We seem to be heading straight out to sea." "Unless the compass is wrong." "The compass can't be wrong." "I just cleaned it before we left." "You cleaned it?" "Yeah, it's a good thing I did." "When I got in there, there was little piece of metal jammed in the bottom." "I took it out there, and threw it away and polished that copper." "Oh, Gilligan, that was the magnet." "That's what controls the needle that I steer by." "Gilligan!" "(thunder rumbling)" "Man, we better not take any chances." "I better start heading back." "Aye aye, sir." "I'll steer by the sun for a while." "(dramatic music)" "What sun?" "Whatta we do now?" "Maybe we can circle the storm, go west until... (thunder rumbling)" "Batten down the hatches." "Batten down the hatches!" "Send out an S.O.S." "How do you spell that?" "Watch out!" "(waves crashing)" "(coughing)" "(water splashing)" "(gentle music)" "Oh, he didn't mean any harm, Skipper." "Neither did the iceberg that sank the Titanic." "Any idea where we are?" "Not really." "That storm turned us round and round and blew us all over the map for 12 days." "But surely we must be someplace." "If we weren't, we wouldn't be here." "That's my Lovey's long suit, logic." "Yes." "Well, wherever we are, thanks to your expert seamanship, Skipper, we're all alive." "Hey, I know where we are!" "Now how could you know that, Gilligan?" "That wind was blowing 90 miles an hour in every direction." "But I know, Skipper." "How do you know, Gilligan?" "Look what I found?" "(light music)" "Oh no!" "The same island." "Well why are you all so sad?" "We're home again, huh?" "Yes, Gilligan, we're home again." "Ooh!" "[Skipper] Huh!" "Uh uh!" "Ooh." "Gilligan!" "(lively music)" "♫ Now this is a tale of our castaways" "♫ They're here for a long long time" "♫ They'll have to make the best of things" "♫ It's an uphill climb" "♫ The first mate and his skipper, too" "♫ Will do their very best" "♫ To make the others comfortable" "♫ In their tropic island nest" "♫ No phone, no lights, no motor cars" "♫ Not a single luxury" "♫ Like Robinson Crusoe, it's primitive as can be" "♫ So join us here each week my friends" "♫ You're sure to get a smile" "♫ From seven stranded castaways" "♫ Here on Gilligan's Isle"