"Better than a Borgia" "[Typewriter Keys Clacking]" " A little spontaneous merriment - [Woman Screaming]" "Hey, Junior..." "Workers, arise!" "Protest the sale of your company, your jobs!" "junior, will you..." "junior..." "Hey, come onJunior" "[All Chattering, Laughing] junior, please Wait" "What is that?" "Plastic?" "Yeah" "You invent it?" "Oh, no I wish I had" "Not that anybody'd care around this square organization" "Mr Stanford," "Mr Buckner is waiting" "Boo!" "Bye, girls [Woman Squeals]" "Roger, what is the matter with you?" "What's wrong?" "I came right over the moment you phoned" "I was afraid you'd gone home I tried every place in the plant" "Roger, what were you doing in your darkroom?" "Now, don't you worry You were underexposed" "You didn't..." "You didn't develop those pictures?" "You know, I've been analyzing this stuff Why doesn't our plastics division ever make..." "Will you get into your uncle?" "He is very upset Wait" "What is that stuff doing here?" "Benson dropped it off from the house" "I'm gonna have someone take it out to his car" "But he isn't going to Pinewild until tomorrow morning" "At breakfast, he told Aunt Dory that..." "So he changed his mind Roger, please!" "No Now, wait a minute Have you checked to make sure that Benson packed everything he needed?" "The royal cravats?" "The gold toothbrush?" "[Sighs]" "[Tut-Tuts] No cigars [Sighs]" "Benson, you are fired And you, Miss Bishop..." "you are next" "Do you realize what will happen when the great DL wakes up to find no box of Fidel's finest?" "I was just gonna get them" "Now, will you stop this?" "Roger, he's got Quincy in there with him" "Oh, you know, I love that worried expression on your face Now, you just hold it Hold it" " Roger, stop this and get in there" " Hey, c-come on, now Give me a smile" "Roger, what do you think?" "Hmm?" "[Camera Shutter Clicks]" "[Hums] Smile" "Look over here and smile Roger, will you put that silly camera down and tell me?" " Now, what do you think?" " I tell ya, Quincy" "When I was 17 years old, I told my aunt not to marry him" "Oh, dear Your syntax is terrible Listen to this" " "I, Roger Stanford ll... "" " Roger, I have a management meeting I'd like to wind up" "Who is going to believe this, anyway?" "I mean, a statement from me approving the sale of a company that my own father started" " I mean, he'd roll over in his grave" " You didn't read down the bottom there... the last paragraph" "They'll believe it, all right, if you tell them that you've lost your interest in chemicals, you don't care about working here anymore, and you're going to Europe" "[Clicks Tongue] Ohh I've gotta calm my people down around here, Roger" "I've gotta get rid of this rumor..." "this silly fear... that the sale of the company is going to endanger their jobs" "It's not It's not going to change anything around here" "Except at the top, because besides being president of Stanford Chemical, you would also be the big man in the conglomerate, now, wouldn't you?" " It isn't just me, Roger" " Yeah, and what about your vice president?" "I mean, how long is Logan gonna last when they find out how he opposed you?" "He thinks the sale of this company is criminal Me, I don't matter I didn't inherit enough stock" "But Aunt Dory did, and I tell ya, you haven't persuaded her yet" "She'll go along just as soon as you do" "If she hadn't bent over backwards to spoil you and pamper you when she took you in as a kid..." "Oh, Quincy, isn't he amusing?" "He married my aunt, but he couldn't marry her stock What's the matter?" " Why can't you get her to give you control?" " It's almost 6:" "OO, Mr Buckner" " The roads will be wet, and we've got a long drive" " Yes" " I thought there'd be something else" " Yes, there is" "Roger, I've been very patient with you down through these past several years... all the trouble you've caused here in this company, not to mention the half a million dollars you cost us by fooling around in something you called research" "[Clicks Tongue] That was kind of you" "But enough is enough" "Quincy ltem:" "I found the place where you gambled in Vegas" "This is a letter from a handwriting expert that'll swear you forged your aunt's signature" "Oh, DL Now, this is really beneath you" " Go on, Quincy" " Item: the drug thing in college ltem. the mess in Acapulco" "And this is a photostat of that car theft report" "Oh, Quincy, I tell ya, you are superb" "You really are, you know?" "You are the best combination chauffeur and private detective in the business" "But what is the matter?" "Tell me Why can't he get something for you on Logan and get rid of all your opposition?" "Tell me, now, Quincy What is it?" "What's wrong?" "Your wiretapping..." "It's not working?" "Why can't you frame a harmless old bachelor?" "[Phone Buzzes] Yes, Valerie?" "[Valerie] Excuse me, Mr Buckner Mr Logan and the others are here" "Thank you" "It's all here, Roger Tomorrow, some of the attorneys from the conglomerate are coming up to meet with me at the cabin at Pinewild to discuss the terms of sale" "But tonight, I want you to go see your Aunt Dory, tell her you don't care about working here anymore..." "you're quitting... and tomorrow, you release that statement to the press" "Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll have to show her all this" " You really would, wouldn't you?" " I would" "You know, DL, I have been well aware of what you and Quincy have been up to the past couple of months, and, uh..." "[Sighs]" "Well, seeing you've got my back up against the wall, you win" "Hmm?" "You're, uh, gonna give up this easily?" "I just know when I'm outclassed" "Oh" "I'll sign it tonight [Clears Throat]" "Anyway, I mean... [Scoffs] who wants a chemical company?" " Ah, gentlemen" " Good afternoon, gentlemen" "Hello, Junior Oh, and good night, Uncle David" "Roger Come on, gentlemen" " Junior" " Mm" "Well?" "Don't worry They haven't sicced Quincy onto you yet" "If only you didn't feel it necessary to play the fool so much" "Hmm What was it this time?" "Oh, it's nothing Really N-Nothing It's nothing at all except..." "Well, we have decided that it is time for people to stop calling me "Junior" around here" "Roger, should we see each other later?" "Why not?" "I've got this littlejob to do first, but it shouldn't take very long" "Wasting your time, Fergy It's gonna rain" "Good night, Junior [Chuckles]" "Oh, Fergy, I am sorry Look I forgot to tell you this morning, but could you look under my hood?" "I think I've got a loose plug wire or something Yeah" "Thanks" "Oh, you have missed a spot here, Fergy" "[Singsong] My uncle will not like that" "Hmm [Chuckles]" "You're crazy, Junior The wiring's okay" "Hose clamp needs tightening a little; that's all" "It does?" "Well, now, how did that get loose?" "Oh, don't worry, Fergy I don't want you to miss your nickel tip" "[Engine Revs]" "[Thunderclap]" "[Inaudible Dialogue]" "[Inaudible Dialogue]" "[Inaudible Dialogue]" "[Typewriter Carriage Whips]" "[Typewriter Keys Clacking]" "[Typewriter Carriage Whips]" "[Footsteps Approaching]" " Oh, sir?" " Uh..." " [Sighs] Who are you?" " Uh, is that you?" "Your aunt said it sounded like your car down here in the drive I mean, you're Mr Stanford, aren't you?" "Well, obviously And who might you be?" "Oh, I'm sorry Uh, Columbo" "Lieutenant Columbo I'm from the police" "The police?" "You mean that old heap out there is yours?" "Oh, yeah It needs a coat of paint, doesn't it?" "Uh, anyway..." "Mrs Buckner, she asked me to get you quick" "There are no servants up there in the house She was afraid you were gonna go straight on to your place or something" "Why?" "What's wrong?" "Nothing that we know about so far, but she's very upset, so I suggest that you close your door and come right away" "Uh, my..." "Ohh!" "Oh, no I don't live here" "I live in a guest cottage out back That's what she meant" "This is where the chauffeur lives See, I went... was on my way home tonight" "I thought I saw his door open" "You did?" "Yeah" "The chauffeur?" "Yes" "You mean Mr Quincy, the fellow who was driving Mr Buckner tonight?" "Yes" "Well, I'd better look in here" "Couldn't you find the light?" "Well, of course I did" "I mean, that's how I found out nobody was home Oh" "Well, everything seems to be in order Maybe somebody's been tamperin' with this lock" "Lieutenant?" "Huh?" "just what are you doing here now?" "What has happened?" "Mr Buckner He sort of disappeared" "He may have been attacked somewhere They warned him, didn't they?" "They threw that awful stench bomb on our lawn yesterday" "Yes Your aunt says there's been some kind of trouble out there at Stanford Chemical" "Well, he, uh, has been threatened" "And then there have been those anonymous phone calls, but those are from hotheads" "Hotheads?" "What are they hot about?" "He's been negotiating with a conglomerate, dickering to sell" "Now, a lot of the old retainers do not like this You might say there has been an excess of corporate bad feeling" "I see Uh, how did you feel about this, ma'am?" "Did you side with your husband on this?" "I was in the process of making up my mind, which is beside the point right now" "David is missing That's the only issue" "Yes, it certainly is, ma'am Tell me Do you know anything about his whereabouts tonight?" "He left the plant around 7:" "OO He was going to Pinewild" " Pine..." " Wild" "Pinewild I'm not familiar with that, uh..." "We have a place up there He should've arrived hours ago" "The caretaker hasn't heard anything, and I called the sheriff s mountain office" " They can't find them" " Oh, look Maybe they got hungry" "Maybe they stopped off somewhere for a drink Oh, Rog, you know that isn't so" "He told Benson he'd have supper up there You know how awful those roads are" "If he'd only taken the aerial tram and had the caretaker meet him at the top, as I do" "It's so much safer, faster" "Well, ma'am, I checked with highway patrol, and there's no report of any accidents on those roads" "There You see?" "Ohh" "Oh, Lieutenant, I think we owe you a drink" "Aunt Dory, when he was out of town last week, you didn't even notice he was gone" "Now, what made you call the police tonight, of all nights?" "Do you want a drink?" "Roger, I called the commissioner of police, and he said he'd send over his very best man" " Is that a fact?" " Well, my wife, she says I'm second-best, but, uh, she claims there are 8O fellas tied for first" "Uh, at any rate, I don't mind being sent out on a false alarm" "I just hope that this is one, because she had a right to call" "You see, uh, she got this message" "Here I-I'll show ya" "Message?" "Yes He called just before I got home from the opera board meeting" "That was at 7:" "3O" "Uh, maybe you'd better operate this, because I'm not sure how it..." "All right, Lieutenant" "You can tell that he's calling from a car You can hear it on the recording" "[Machine Clicks]" "[Woman On Machine] There's no one answering at the moment This is a recording device" "Would you care to leave a message?" "[David] Oh, these modern, idiotic devices" "She's not home yet Quincy, look in the dash there, will ya?" ""Dash" Ya hear that?" "Dash from the car?" "[Woman On Machine] If so, your voice will be recorded, and the connection won't be broken until you hang up" "[Quincy On Machine] Nope What's the matter with Benson?" "You sure your cigar case isn't in your coat pocket?" "[Woman On Machine] You may start your message now Thank you" "[David] YeahJust give me the box Thank you" "[Quincy On Machine] Want me to pull over and open that for you?" "[David] Nah That's all right I got it" "[David Groans On Recorder]" "Look I tried to get you earlier today, darlin but I guess you were in one of those silly committee meetings" "Miss Bishop couldn't get you from the office either" "But what I was calling about..." "I'm, uh..." "I'm on my way up to the cabin now, so I'll see you tomorrow..." "Sunday, rather..." "Sunday afternoon or evening sometime, but, uh, what I wanted you to know is that" "Roger is gonna come over to see you tonight" "He wants to talk to you about something, so I just wanted to make sure you'd be home... and wait up for him, will ya?" "It's..." "Well, he's made a decision about something" "It might not be exactly what you figured it would be, but to my way of thinking, it... it's a wise decision" "So, after you talk to him, uh, call me back at the cabin, will ya?" "Let me know what he decided" "Bye-bye for now, darlin [Phone Clicks Off]" " [Gasps]" " Gee I'm terribly sorry" "[Sighs] Here I've got something in my pocket" "Yeah Well, anyway, that's it He just hung up" "Yeah Sure Roger, you're just as concerned about him as I am, aren't you?" " What?" " You seem so upset" "I'm surprised, because you don't like him very much, do you?" "Oh, well, actually, I've been growing..." "I've been growing much fonder of him lately" " Did you call him back?" " Yes I tried to reach him on the car phone" "There was no answer [Sighs]" "Lieutenant, look, if there's anything you can do, do it Yeah Go out there and find him" "Well, I can assure you I've started all the wheels rolling" "We're doing everything we can Now, this area... this Pinewild..." "that's out of our bailiwick" "But we've got the sheriff s office and the highway patrol, and I'm gonna stay after 'em" "And don't you worry, Mrs Buckner Fine" "We're gonna find 'im Thank you, Lieutenant" "Good night Good night" "I certainly hope you're right, Lieutenant My uncle is a very important man" "Oh, I'm aware of that, sir Listen By the way, what about your parents, Mr Stanford?" "Are they both alive?" "Oh, no They died when I was in college" "It was a freak explosion at the plant Aunt Dory became my guardian, and then she married David Mm-hmm" "Were there any other children?" "No" "Aunt Dory is your father's sister?" "Yes" "And on your father's side, were there other aunts and uncles?" "Um, tell me, Lieutenant" "Why are you so fascinated with my family history?" "Oh, no It's just that, uh... try to get things straightened out in my mind" "Well, in case you're wondering, if anything does happen to David, his money goes to her, not me" "Oh, I wasn't thinking about that at all Oh, no" "Listen By the way, I didn't wanna mention this to your aunt inside, but, uh, is it possible that Mr Buckner might've wanted to stop someplace without telling anybody..." "you know, visit somebody in private?" "I don't think that's any of your business, Lieutenant" "It certainly is none of mine" "Oh, no No" "Sorry Good night" "Good night" " Is your watch broken?" " Hmm?" "Your watch?" "My watch?" "Broken?" " No Why?" " Oh, it's nothing important It's just that inside," "I noticed you kept looking at it" "[Sighs] Well, you know, Lieutenant, people do look at their watches" "Yes, they certainly do Sorry Good night" "Good night" "Rog?" "What did you want to talk to me about tonight?" "What did David mean?" "Oh, that was nothing Nothing at all" "See, I had this idea I might like to work in the legal department for a while" "David said it was fine I start there Monday" "[Chuckles] Oh, life would be so simple if you two could just get along" "[Chuckles] We're going to" "Where is he, Roger?" "If he'd only listened to me If he'd only taken the tram" "He's going to be fine, just fine, sweetheart" "[Man] Some view, huh, Lieutenant?" "All the way to the top..." "8,600 feet above sea level" "It's only a 15-minute ride" "Look down there..." "about a 2,OOO foot drop" "Now, uh, over here, the only way to scale that rock..." "you'd have to be a mountain goat" "They had to use helicopters to build this thing" "Don't worry This tram is absolutely safe..." "designed to last" "Never had an accident Just sit back and enjoy the ride" "[Wind Whistling]" "[Bird Squawking] Sure a nice view, isn't it?" "Yes, it is That's exactly what our problem is" "See, earlier this morning, the sheriffs found a shiny bumper at the base of the cliff" "Now, here we are Now, it's just about a half hour or so down the road" "Down Yes Well, that'd be good" "[Columbo] What is that?" "Quincy the chauffeur?" "[Sheriff] Yeah" "We spotted Buckner's body further down there" "You can barely see a man workin' his way towards it" "Now, step out here on this ledge, you get a better view" "Right over there Thank you very much That won't be necessary" "Thank you Okay" "As you can see, there's no guardrail The roads were slick last night" "Now, this stuff here looks burned The bodies are charred" "There's debris scattered over thousands of feet" "We're getting more climbers I'll keep you posted on everything we flnd" "[Dispatcher Over Police Radio, Indistinct] Look here" "Glass Yeah" "Scattered up and down the road... all over" "Now, we found the chauffeur's cap intact... blown 2OO yards clear off to one side down there" "Well, you know, sometimes a gas tank explodes" "Well, yeah..." "Well, maybe the car skidded and smacked that rock, and the gas tank blew" " Or maybe something inside the car blew" " Exactly" "And since they're just out from LA, well," "I guess in a way it's sort of your jurisdiction, Lieutenant, or at least your problem" "[Man] The possibility of murder?" "Well, that's ridiculous" "[Dory] What difference does it make?" "Dead is dead, isn't it?" "No There's talk of the fact that it is not an accident" "Well, the lieutenant was here again today, and he..." "He said that they always have to investigate" "It's probably just routine He didn't want to bother me too much, I guess" "Anyway, he's gone looking for Roger" "Oh, did I..." "Oh, did I tell you that David had decided to put Roger in the legal department?" "Did he?" "Well, that is something of a switch" "Roger and I have become friendly" "I know he's made mistakes in the past, but I think he's coming along very well" "I could never understand why David didn't like him better" "Course, I never understood Roger too well myself, but I've tried to do the best I could for him" "And he is a Stanford Somehow I always thought he might be in charge someday" "Everett, you don't think David was murdered, do you?" "Of course not No" "Look You just let me handle everything" "We're not even going to talk about business for a while yet" "I'll take care of it all..." "newspapers, the arrangements" "I know it's a dreadful thing to say, but I'm so glad you're next in line" " I need someone I can trust" " You just leave everything to me, hmm?" "And if either you or Roger have any problems with the police, you let me know" "[Clank]" "You do get around, don't you, Lieutenant?" "[Laughs Deviously]" "I was just waiting for you when I came in, you know, to look into the darkroom, and, uh..." "What are you doing, Lieutenant?" "Looking for secret weapons?" "Secret weapons?" "No What is this?" "Kids' stuff?" "Look, Lieutenant..." "Lieutenant, I was talking to my aunt, and she said that you think that maybe somebody killed my uncle" "I mean, she said that there was something about the accident..." "I don't know" "Oh, no We don't know anything for sure just yet" "Ah Hey No It's just that, um..." "You know, that's a wonderful darkroom lmagine having something like that right next to your own office Wonderful" "You know, my wife's kid brother, he's a nut on photography too Uh-huh" "Wonderful hobby You know, Lieutenant," "I also work on inventions in there, and you are very lucky that you didn't knock over a bottle of acid or some cyanide crystals or nitroglycerin..." "Don't tell me any more I'll have a heart attack" "You really know that stuff, don't you?" "Mm" "I noticed that medal you wear around your neck That's an honor society medal, isn't it?" "Oh It's a national science fraternity I had my PhD in chemistry before I was 21" "But that's before my MBA and lawyer" " You don't say" " Hmm" "You know, I knew you'd be the one that could help me" "Would you come?" "Now, you see, my problem with chemistry..." "That started way back in high school" "'Cause in my junior year, I..." "I had to get a better grade" "So I said, "To heck with this chemistry stuff I'll take another year of woodshop"" "[Laughing]" "You know, you just build a birdhouse, and if you paint it red, you get an "A"" "[Roger Laughing] So that's what I did" "Because that chemistry stuff, it's just too hard You follow my meaning?" "Uh, so?" "Oh, well, you see, the fellows over at our lab, they tell me that you can make all sorts of, uh, trigger devices that don't use any powder..." "Uh, they're sort of like explosive fire things maybe Is that true?" "Oh!" "So you think someone put a bomb in his car" "Well, you know, there could have been an explosion before they went off the cliff" "Oh You see, now, if that's the case, then we got a whole different kind of..." "Uh, Lieutenant..." "You see what I mean?" "Lieutenant, I, uh..." "I would not light that cigar now unless you wish to witness an explosion right now" "Oh, uh, yeah, right I'm sorry No, I won't light it" "Okay And for your information, Lieutenant, there are, uh, 3O PhD's in this plant, uh, and over 6O qualified chemists" "Yes There are 1 O private experiment rooms just like mine back there" "That is not even to mention the, uh, main laboratory building right over there where 2,000 more employees toil away like merry little gnomes" "[Columbo] You don't think that all of these people wanted to kill Mr Buckner, do you?" "I have no idea But a large corporation is like a jungle, Lieutenant, to coin a phrase" "I can't tell you how many executives there are in our ivory tower who would, uh, commit felonious assault just for the key to a private washroom" "That's not even to mention the ones who, uh, were very unhappy because my uncle wished to sell" "Yeah You know, like those malcontents who kept threatening him" "Well, you know, somehow we just can't get a handle on those threats" "I mean, like that stink bomb The boys we sent to check it out, they say nobody even saw a car in your neighborhood during that time" "Well, that is unfortunate However, Lieutenant, I witnessed one of those phone calls myself" "You did?" "Yes" "Well, never mind about that I'll get somebody else to check it out, okay?" "Yeah Because I have my own personal lead in this case" "You have?" "Do you remember that recorded telephone message on your aunt's phone?" "Yes Well, I've been listening to that over and over again" "It's all right in there" "And I'll tell you what..." "Good cigar" "This is one area that I do know about" "His cigars?" "Yes, Benson told me that he dropped off Mr Buckner's suitcase here at 6.00" "But no box of cigars" "He said that you told him that you were gonna take care of that" "Yes Y-Yeah I-I keep a supply right here" "Go on, Miss Bishop" "Oh, what's the matter?" "That's just funny your asking about cigars, that's all" " You see, Mr Buckner had a little pocket cigar case..." " Here" " What?" " Don't touch that" "Well, why not?" "The cleaning lady just gave it to me" "Sh-She said she found it underneath my desk lt-lt must have been in Mr Buckner's overcoat That's where he always kept it" "Benson put the overcoat on the suitcase" "And it must have fallen out, that's all I guess I just didn't notice it" "Oh" "What's the matter, Lieutenant?" "Did you think someone had stolen it?" "Well, it did seem like a kind of a coincidence" "On that telephone tape, you could just barely hear..." ""Cigar case missing No cigars in the dash"" "Oh, so, uh, you thought that someone wanted him to open a box of cigars while he was still in the car, I suppose?" " Well, it was a possibility" " Lieutenant, what's this all about?" "I mean, why are you so interested in cigars?" "Oh, I'm terribly sorry" "It's just that we have to check out everything" "I know how badly you must feel at this point Forgive me" "Listen, by the way, Mrs Buckner said she tried to reach you that night" "She thought you'd be working late here in the office, but, uh..." "Oh, no" "No See, my-my mother was expecting me to work late and I knew she'd be going to bed early, so I went to a movie" "Lieutenant Lieutenant, you have not answered the lady's question Now, will you tell her the truth?" "Miss Bishop, the lieutenant is from Homicide, and obviously he is under the impression that the accident was caused by, uh, an exploding cigar" "What?" "Well, now, you see, Lieutenant, uh, Miss Bishop got the box of cigars from here" "Yeah I saw her And, uh, she put them over there on the suitcase" "Hmm Yeah Here Try one yourself" "Wow I never saw cigars quite like this before" "Are all the boxes the same?" "Uh, listen, don't you tell customs They're from Cuba That's a dollar a puff..." "Now, wait just a minute!" "Are you suggesting that something was wrong with one of those cigar boxes?" "Oh, of course not The lieutenant is just simply wrong" "You see, if there was an explosive in that car, it would have to have been placed somewhere else" "No No, I'm afraid not Nope" "You see, on the way over here, I bumped into a very nice old fella that works in one of your service stations" "His name is Ferguson And he cleaned that car before they left" "And he told me there was nothing else in that car except a suitcase, a coat and a box of cigars" "And the old boy who carried everything down, he said the same thing" "[Roger] All right, then..." "[Clears Throat] then the, uh, explosive must have been in the cigar box" "Yeah, I'll grant you that, Lieutenant" "And, uh, if somebody tampered with it or, uh, switched it, that would have to have happened here, right?" "Okay Miss Bishop, will you tell me how long did DL's suitcase sit there in the middle of this floor with people coming and going?" "Oh... 2O, 3O minutes" "But you were here at that time, weren't you?" "Didn't I hear you say that you were here?" "Oh Oh, no, no, no Now, Mr Stanford did not touch it" "Now, I just happen to know..." "he left without touching it" "Oh, well, that's right But I-I can remember Mr Logan, joe Stevenson, Burnheimer, uh..." "Oh, look, Miss Bishop, would you make a list for the lieutenant?" "Oh, certainly" "And put down anything else you can remember, uh, anything like, uh, stolen boxes, uh, boxes given away, uh..." "oh, just anything" "What's the matter, Miss Bishop?" "Well, the vice president" "Well, he has a supply" "Well, the cigar orders sometimes come in together" "Uh, Mr Everett Logan" "Mm, I have about, uh..." "about four boxes left" "Did you say four, sir?" "Yes That's very strange" " Nancy?" " What's the matter?" "Is something wrong?" "[Door Opens] [Nancy] Yes, sir?" "Oh, here You've been keeping tabs on these supplies How many boxes of cigars were there?" "Oh Well, I really haven't checked them much in the last two days, but did you take some home, Mr Logan?" "No, I did not" "Well, they must be in here someplace" "Uh, please don't touch the boxes, if you don't mind" "Oh, that'll be all, Nancy Thank you You can go now Yes, sir" "Be sure and close the door on your way out [Door Closes]" "If you don't mind, sir, if you'll just lock this up and not touch anything;" "then I'll call the fingerprint crew" "Why, Lieutenant?" "I thought you were investigating David's accident" "Just, uh, covering all bases, sir" "I mean, we haven't found anything suspicious" "He thinks there might have been a bomb in a cigar box" "A what?" "Well, that's just a theory" "Well, of course we'll cooperate in any way possible" "I'm afraid that isn't very much of a lock, and I have had several meetings here" "But, well, I must warn you, Lieutenant" "Unless you find something a little bit more important than that, if one word of a murder investigation is leaked to either the press or anyone else..." "Oh, no, sir, no And that's all I need for now Thank you very much Much obliged [Camera Shutter Clicks]" "Roger" "What the devil is going on around here?" "Does he really think it wasn't an accident?" "[Door Closes]" "Hop in, Lieutenant I'll give you a lift" "Oh, thanks" "Boy, this plant of yours is really something" "You know, you can get lost here just wandering around" "I told you, Lieutenant..." "This plant is not mine" "It belongs to my Aunt Doris" "Hey, and you know..." "about Logan" "He was right when he said there were a lot of people in his office" "Anybody could have taken that box" "This fellow, Logan..." "He's quite a friend of yours, I guess" "Hmm?" "Oh, well, I mean, he, uh, he has been nice enough to take a good deal of interest in my work lately" "Why?" "Uh..." "You mean he sort of fires you up, like, maybe?" "Like..." "Like what?" "I found this in the wastepaper basket in that apartment above the garage where the chauffeur lived" "It looks like it's some kind of a report from Mr Quincy to Mr Buckner" "And, uh, Quincy claims that Mr Logan, for some funny reason, was trying to upset you over this sale thing, using you to manipulate your aunt" "Hey Let me see that No, I'd rather not It's just hearsay" "I don't want to spread these rumors around" "You know," "I really don't understand this business stuff" "Of course, I never could understand business" "My wife, she always makes out our taxes Your..." "Oh, by the way, Benson mentioned that Quincy was at one time a cop?" "Well, I-I knew that he, uh... or suspected, rather... that he did some extracurricular work for my uncle, you know, like, uh, checking up on people" "Why?" "Well, you see, I couldn't find the typewriter that this report was written on, and Benson, uh, he had an idea that Quincy might have had another hideaway someplace, something else that he used as a base of operations" "You know anything about that?" "Sorry" "Oh, no, no, no Now, wait a minute What is the matter with me?" "Of course Hey, you know, one night" "I was dumb enough to get caught in a poker game with him, you know what I mean?" "And, uh, quite by accident I saw a piece of paper that was in his wallet" "And it..." "well, it didn't say "Quincy" on it It said, uh... "O'Neill"" "Yeah, that's what it said..." "HarryJ O'Neill Yeah" "Well, you know, I can check up on that right away" "Uh, car's right over here Oh" "Thank you very much Okay" "I knew you'd be a help to me Welcome" "Bye" "[Horn Honks]" "Mr Stanford?" "Roger, wait" "What's your problem?" "I nearly died out there..." "all those questions" "All I could think to say was that I went to the movies last night Now, relax Relax" "DL wasn't really murdered, and you know it Do you know that?" "That's a funny thing to say" "I'm sorry" "Well, it's just that they keep investigating around here and checking into everything, like those private personal files I let you look at, like Mr Logan's" "I put those back days ago" "It was just curiosity Oh, how to succeed in business" "Roger, I-I don't want anyone to find out about us" "Oh Well, how could they?" "You took those pictures of me" "Oh, I cleaned out my desk already..." "and the darkroom I got rid of everything" "I'm sorry It's..." "It's just the past few days, I..." "Ah, you know, you need a rest [Engine Starts]" "Yeah I authorize it Yeah, and don't worry about a thing" "It's all gonna be over soon It is Believe me Soon" "Well, it'll be dark in a while But we'll send the climbers up again first thing in the morning" "We'll try the lower cliffs" "No piece of the cigar box yet?" "No" "It's funny" "Some things we're finding intact, others smashed, others burnt" "Well, anyway, we're still trying Here I thought you might want to see this" " Piece of the gas tank" " Yeah And it did explode" " The autopsy report's not much help either" " I heard just burns Nothing on the tissue that prove any foreign inflammable" "Maybe some kind of petroleum jelly was used" " Well, something will turn up" " Well, how can you be so sure?" "Well, it's a big corporation..." "kind of like a jungle, to coin a phrase" "[Chuckling]" "[Doors Closing]" "There shouldn't be anybody in there Cover the front I'll get the back" "[Tires Squealing]" "[Siren Wailing]" "[Man] Stop" "Stop" "[Dory] Roger, I don't believe it" "What were you doing?" "Nothing" "Oh, I do wish you would listen to me, Aunt Dory" "You haven't answered me I can't" "I can't Not with these two men here" "Would you mind leaving us alone, please?" "Sorry, ma'am They told me to bring him over here, but that doesn't mean I can let him out of my sight" "Listen I got here as fast as I could Where is Farrell?" "Oh, good evening, ma'am" "Lieutenant Columbo, I'd like an explanation of this" "He's on the way Look, I told her where we caught him He broke and entered, tore up the place, resisted arrest..." "They literally jumped me" "All right We're gonna get this thing cleared up just as fast as we can..." "don't worry about that" "Now, say, I thought you said to me that you had no idea where Quincy's hideaway was?" "Well, I didn't But then I remembered this car salesman that Quincy was friendly with, and he did" "Lieutenant, look, if I could just talk to you alone for a few minutes" "Excuse me, please What do you have, Farrell?" "[Farrell] I just brought a couple of things The typewriter was there" "And we got quite a bit of information from his fl/e..." "dossiers, actually" "I left Charlie there to go over 'em" "Now, what I brought you is a couple of things here that I think..." "Dossiers?" "What kind of dossiers?" "Uh, something about Mr Logan?" "What makes you say that?" "You see, this afternoon, I found something in the pocket of one of David's suits" "Some sort of report about Everett Logan..." "personal information" "Very damaging" "From Quincy?" "Yes" "May I see it?" "I burned it, Lieutenant" "You see, I finally realized that" "David was using Quincy to keep tabs on the executives" "Hmm All right, Mrs Buckner, would you give me a moment, please?" "Now, there is quite a bit of stuff on Logan there..." "also on a couple of other executives" "Only, take a look at this..." "Quincy's bankbook" "New account Pretty big deposit" "Yeah Nice guy, Quincy Looks like he was trying to put the bite on his own boss" "Oh, look here This is what I took off the kid when I caught him" "That's the only thing he tried to get out of Quincy's" "And I guess he was in quite a bit of a hurry, because he forgot the negative" "Uh, Mrs Buckner, uh, would you excuse us for a moment?" "I want to speak to Mr Stanford for a moment Oh" "I think we can settle this right now" "[Farrell] Hey, wait a minute That's evidence, lady" "No!" "Don't let her see them!" "Aunt Dory, you give them back!" "Valerie Bishop and David?" "Look, why do you think I went there?" "I knew Quincy would have something like that!" "Now you've let her see the very thing I never wanted her to!" "It's all right, Rog I have to see things" "I have to see everything" "But I'm the only one, do you understand, Lieutenant?" "And I want this trash burned" "But, ma'am, we can't destroy evidence" "There's no evidence if there's no murder" "And you haven't proved there was a murder But, ma'am, if we had more time..." "Lieutenant, will you please get out of here and leave us alone?" "Look, I'm sorry about what's happened here tonight..." "Lieutenant, please get out" "[Roger] I am truly sorry" "[Dory] Oh, Rog, I liked that woman very much" "All the time, she and David..." "[Roger] I never wanted you to know about this, ever" "I mean, I've known for a couple years about them" "But, well, it's only recently that I realized that Quincy was beginning to snoop around" "You knew?" "Oh, yes" "I went to David I asked him to stop" "He refused" "[Dory] No wonder he turned against you" "No wonder he kept demeaning you in front of me" "Oh, Rog, dear, I've been..." "I've been such a fool" "I've misunderstood everything so Oh" "There" "[Door Closes]" "Thank you, Benson 5:" "OO, please" "[Typewriter Keys Clacking]" "Oh Oh, hi, Junior" "Uh, excuse me, Mr Stanford [Clacking Stops]" "Good morning, Mr Stanford" "Good morning, Mr Stanford" "What's wrong?" "Oh" "Excuse me" "I just found this on the desk It's from the personnel manager" "Well, I..." "I tried to reach you at the house, but you'd already gone, and your aunt wouldn't come to the phone" "You know, she hasn't answered one single call from me since the funeral" "Oh, I sent her up to Pinewild for a short rest It was the doctor's orders" "Let me see this" "Well, that's a pink slip..." "That stupid personnel department You're not fired" "Well, but I don't understand" "You see, my aunt remembered how much your mother always wanted to live in the desert..." "in Arizona, wasn't it?" "And-And she thought that you might be happier there too" "Roger, I can't afford that" "Oh I'll take care of that" "Listen, now Don't you worry" "We'll see each other a lot Yeah, a lot" "Yeah, a lot [Chuckles]" "I'm gonna be here for quite a while You can come back later" "Would you tell maintenance I'll keep the desk and the chair?" "The rest of this stuff is just dreary" "Yeah, I'll, uh, have a decorator come in next week and refurnish" "What about your office?" "Your old office?" "Oh, I don't care Wrap it up Give it away I don't particularly care" "[Sighs]" "[Phone Buzzes]" "I don't want to be disturbed, Miss Bishop" "Well, it's-it's Mr Logan and Lieutenant Columbo" "Uh, well, tell them, uh..." "tell them to come in" "[Whistling]" "Ah, gentlemen" "I hate to interrupt like this, Mr Stanford, but Miss Bishop said you were in" "Huh So I am What can I do for you?" "Uh, quite a surprise I mean, I went down to your old office, but they told me you moved in here" "Uh, Lieutenant, would you mind coming to the point?" "Oh, certainly By the way, Miss Bishop seems unhappy Did something go wrong?" "I've no idea" "Uh, could you explain the reason for your interruption, Lieutenant?" "Oh, yeah Well, I came to get you" "And Mr Logan here" "Of course, the funny thing..." "I found him cleaning out his desk too" " Whatever for, Everett?" " I've been fired" "Fired?" "Oh, I find that very hard to believe, Everett" "Do you?" "It was your aunt's request She wouldn't even talk to me on the phone when I called" "Oh!" "Obviously it's a mistake Obviously We were rather close, if you'll remember" "You wouldn't have any possible idea why she might have changed her mind about me, would you?" "Oh, no, no None whatsoever" "Of course, you know, it is a family corporation, so she has every right to do whatever she chooses" "Uh, this must have fallen over" "Lieutenant, you take an inordinate length of time to come to the point" "Oh Well, I heard from the, uh, people at the Pinewild Sheriff s Offlce" "They're gonna meet us at the bottom of the grade" "Oh, I'm awfully sorry" "Perhaps Mr Logan could go along, but I'm afraid I'm just much too busy this morning to go for a long drive" "Oh, I see I just thought you'd want to know what they found" "I mean, you are interested in any latest development, aren't you?" "Of course I am What was it?" "You know, they didn't say They just said it was very important" "Oh, that seems very peculiar they didn't say what it was [Columbo] Sure does" "All right, Mr Logan Let's go" "Fine Doris will be up at the cabin, and I want to talk with her" "Uh, just a minute, Lieutenant" "If this does concern my uncle's death, I suppose in good conscience, I should go along" "Fine I've got the car outside" "Hi, Sergeant Lieutenant" "Is that it?" "Yeah!" "Pretty good shape, too, considering" "See right up there, to the left of the second dark crag?" "You can't see the road from here, but it was right to the left of that, just about a couple hundred feet from where they went over" "It must have been blown apart, like the cap and that other stuff" "Yeah Skidded right into a crevice What is it, Lieutenant?" "I think that we ought to get this information to your aunt in a hurry So let's go on up" "Oh, no, no I-I sent her up to the cabin so she wouldn't be disturbed" "Anyway, it would take us hours to get there in this old heap..." "We'll be there in no time Here, Sergeant" "Engineer's waiting for you Thank you very much This way" "[Chattering]" "[Columbo] Yeah, your aunt put me on this contraption" "She said it was a lot faster than driving" "[Columbo] A lot safer" "I hope she's right [Chuckles]" "Well, uh, let's look in this, huh?" "Yes I'd like to know what they found Let's see what we have" "Uh-huh" "Why, that's..." "that's David's cigar box" "I told you this would be worth coming out for, didn't I?" "Yeah Yeah, it sure is" "You see, except for the hinges, which are a little shaky, this whole thing is in one piece" "Well, this means that David was not murdered, doesn't it, huh?" "Oh, yes, sir Yes, uh, this changes everything There's no question about it Yeah" "Uh, must've been the gas tank after all" "Oh, that's... that's comforting news I mean for her" "Even so, I'm afraid she's not gonna be very happy to see me up there" "Why?" "Do you think that she blamed you for her husband's death?" "Well, I certainly do" "I mean, after all, I was the one that was fighting David on this sell business Everybody knew that" "I figure some troublemaker misunderstood and stole the box out of my office" "Fortunately, I was wrong I can't tell you how good that cigar box looks to me" "Now, if I can just get Doris to tell me why she let me go" "Oh, I can tell you that" "You can?" "Yeah, I think she fired you for a couple of reasons" "Like those secret meetings that you had with the competition last year" "Like that patent that you sold to a friend very cheaply" "What are you talking about?" "Those are lies" "Really?" "Well, Mr Quincy wrote 'em all down in a report to Mr Buckner" "Then Quincy made them up himself They're simply not true Lieutenant Lieutenant" "You promised Aunt Dory never to say anything about that" "Now, what are you trying to do, cause more trouble?" "Well, it doesn't make any difference now Everything's changed now, isn't it, because of this?" "[Columbo] You know, and then there was that thing with Miss Bishop..." "Lieutenant!" "Now, that is private information" " Wait-Wait a minute What thing with Miss Bishop?" " Now, I am warning you..." "You see, Miss Bishop and Mr Buckner, you know, for the past year or so, they..." "That is enough!" "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt anybody" "I just don't..." "I-I-I just don't know why we... why we can't, uh, sit here... sit here and-and..." "just sit here quietly while we ride to the top of the mountain" "[Columbo] You know something, Roger?" "The truth is hard to find sometimes" " But sometimes it's right in front of you and you can't prove it" " What?" "Do you know I had a whole theory worked out how you could have fixed this box here?" "But I mean a high IQ thing so that the explosive might not be discovered" "It might get burned up with the gasoline" "Oh, yes I had a theory worked out how you could have done all sorts of things" "But now... now it turns out to be just an ordinary cigar box" "[Chuckling] Yeah" "Well, listen Now that, uh..." "Don't you think you should take it to a laboratory and have it examined?" "I mean, now you've got all these fancy theories?" "What on earth for?" "The theories are all wrong, and that would only prove it" "Oh, no, that would make me look foolish Mr Logan, would you care for a cigar?" " No No, thank you" " No?" "And, you know..." "and the funny thing is this, Roger..." " This whole thing could've been a plan of yours" " Huh?" "Like those reports of Mr Quincy's You could have forged those on his typewriter" " And the photograph between Miss Bishop and your uncle - [Sighs]" "[Columbo] Any good photographer could trick that up" "You know, you just do some double printing and replace one figure with somebody else's" "And even Mr Quincy's new bank account" "That could have been opened by anybody, even you" "Yes, and Mr Logan's cigars being stolen" "You see, now, there you go You're looking at your watch again" "Would you do me a favor?" "Would you please keep quiet?" "Why?" "It's only a dumb theory of mine It only goes to prove how wrong I can be" "You see, what I figured..." "I figured there was two people between you and the presidency..." "Mr Logan here and your uncle..." "and now there's just you" "Of course, you had to fire Miss Bishop I mean, an executive secretary..." "she probably knows too much" "Everett, are you just gonna sit here and let him just mumble on?" "Why not, Roger?" "It's all very interesting" " You!" "You are more of a fool than he is!" " The trouble is, even if I was right..." "Will you just shut up!" "Ohh!" "Roger, what's bothering you?" "What's the matter?" "Shut up!" "Oh, my!" "[Whimpers]" "We have got to get rid of that box!" " Why?" "What for?" " Oh..." "[Panting]" "Give me that box Give me that box!" "[Screams] Give me that..." "[Moaning]" "Good Lord" "Where did you get that, uh..." "that box of cigars, Lieutenant?" "From your secretary" "My secretary?" "Mm" "Yeah She, uh..." "she had three boxes" "I hope you didn't mind?" "No I don't suppose I do in this case, do I, Lieutenant?" "Oh, uh, aren't those supposed to be evidence, Lieutenant Columbo?" "Uh, yeah, I guess they are It's a shame though" "[Laughing]" "[Laughing Continues]" "You!" "[Laughing]" "[Laughing Continues]" "[Laughing Continues]"