"Excuse me?" "I've just got a couple of pages." "Go ahead." "Thanks." ""Sorry, I can't make it tonight." "Louise"" "Hi." "Hi." "Do you often work in the library?" "Yes." "I'm writing a non-fiction book." "German industries of the Wilhelminian Era." "Are you interested in that?" "Yes, I think so." "I like libraries." "You won't be disturbed there." "By people like me?" "My name is Walter." "Agnes." "It must be two streets ahead." "A friend recommended it to me." "I bet you know the place." "I don't go downtown very often." "Has anyone called for an ambulance?" "It's on the way." "Did she fall over?" "I don't know." "She just laid there." "Let's go." "Do you see your family often?" "No, my parents don't live here anymore." "They emigrated to Mallorca a couple of years ago." "That's not bad either." "Don't you like it?" "She was dead." "Yes." "I think so." "I've never seen a dead person before." "I don't think that she suffered." "That's not the point." "As long as a person suffers, they are at least alive." "But if everything is coming to an end, if there's nothing left..." "I always try to imagine that as a kind of... peace." "Like if you are finally tired." "And if you aren't tired?" "!" "And if someone dies before being tired, have you ever thought about that?" "!" "Can we go?" "Yes, of course." "Can we pay?" "Ok then." "Good evening." "Good evening." "Berliner Allee." "Yes, it isn't set up very well, but it works for the time being." "I'll open a bottle of wine." "Do you believe in life after death?" "Excuse me for asking, but  are you ill?" "No." "You don't have to be ill to think about that." "Things just can't go on forever." "That would somehow be meaningless." "But if you... just disappear does that make sense?" "There are still people who remember you." "Is that why you write books?" "So that people will remember you?" "No, I don't want to live forever." "What time is it?" "Just after seven." "Henry was standing at the tracks, which disappeared into the distance in both directions." "He looked to the left and to the right  and ran ahead."" "I wrote that in my mid 20s." "No idea why I took that with me." "Like in the poem by Frost." "Which route a person chooses in life." "Have you also written longer things?" "I once started a novel." "But I didn't manage more than fifty pages." "Can I borrow it?" "Sure, if you want to." "I'm sorry that I had to cancel yesterday." "But we'll catch up on it." "Hello." "Anything useable?" "No idea." "Don't worry." "I'm not in love." "That's my taxi." "Just come back to the office if you need anything." "I've got to go." "See you." "See you." "May I disturb you?" "I want to show you something." "Hello." "Hi." "Symmetry is quite deep in almost everything." "The mystery is the emptiness in the centre, what you can't see the axis of symmetry." "Life appears rather asymmetrical to me." "Asymmetry always has a reason, it makes life possible." "The difference between genders, time going in only one direction..." "What?" "Do you think that's strange?" "No, I..." "I like it." "How come you stopped?" "Stopped what?" "Writing." "I do still write." "You know what I mean." "The short stories have been sold exactly 187 times." "That doesn't matter." "Have you read them?" "Yes." "I guess..." "I just didn't have enough to tell." "You could write about me  what you like about me." "A portrait." "There is no single good picture of me." "If you want to become immortal  you have to look for a more famous writer." "Bye." "Coffee?" "Thanks." "Did you mean that for real?" "What?" "A girlfriend once broke up with me  she recognised herself in one of my stories." "Really?" "We agreed on that version." "Don't you feel like starting again?" "I don't know." "I haven't been writing for years." "In the end we both would be disappointed." "Agnes?" "One!" "Five!" "Six!" "Seven!" "The first!" "You're not in good form!" "What was that about?" "I wanted to know if you really live on the 7th floor." ""The first time I saw Agnes was at the library, in April this year."" "It's good, continue." "How do you want to look like?" "So everyone understands that you are falling in love with me." "Oh, am I?" "Yes." "I can't write like that." ""Agnes stunned me as she sat in front of me in the reading room."" ""Her awkward movements didn't seem to fit well with her slim, almost delicate body."" ""Her face was fine-boned and pale."" ""We looked at each other for a moment, and I saw her startled blue eyes."" "Carry on." ""When she left the reading room, I decided to follow her."" "Really, you followed me?" "Maybe." "What do you mean "maybe"?" "That it might have been." ""We were talking about love and death, before we even knew each other's names."" ""She had strong opinions."" ""My cynicism provoked her and when she got upset, she could be strangely harsh. "" "You think I'm "harsh"?" "Yes." "Sometimes." "Or direct." "Some people have told me that." "I never notice that." "And vulnerable somehow." ""A bit, as if she couldn't find the right mix of distance and closeness to life."" "It must be two streets ahead." "A friend recommended it to me." "I bet you know the place." "I don't go downtown very often." "Did you move here because of university?" "No, I grew up here." "Why didn't you mention the dead woman?" "I don't know," "I thought that it would be unromantic." "But she belongs there!" "Yes, you're probably right." "I went to her funeral." "You went to her funeral?" "Yes." "But apart from that our story is becoming very beautiful." "You think so?" "Where have you been?" "Sorry, I was writing." "How's it going then?" "I don't know, not good." "Agnes, a second." "You want to join me for the trip to Brussels next month?" "You could present your work." "Really?" "Yes." "You could get lots of suggestions!" "She's good, your girlfriend." "But I'm sure you knew that already." "Yes, I know." "Think it over." "The university will cover the travel costs." "So it didn't go well?" "Let's go home." "I don't like it here either." "Did I sleep long?" "There's something different about you today." "Maybe my hair, I out the bangs." "I don't think it's that..." "What else?" "I've reached the present." "And what's happening now?" "I have a weird feeling  that I'm terribly close to you." ""Agnes looked at me, with that look I didn't understand the meaning of."" ""And are you still?" ", she asked."" ""I didn't reply and Agnes didn't say anything else either..."" ""... she just held me tight."" ""Later on, I told her that I love her." " But it wasn't enough. "" ""And because I didn't know how to describe the feeling..."" ""..." "I decided to be quiet again and we hardly spoke the whole evening."" " That's beautiful  very beautiful." "You can still come along!" "I have to catch up with my work." "You're missing out on something." "I'll write in the story that I was there with you." "Are you coming?" "You look good." "I write a lot." "Didn't you want to visit our archive again?" "Yes, yes  but I've started on another project..." "... a novel." "Really?" "I had no idea that you..." "I'm not." "I just thought, I'm trying." "What's it about?" "I don't know yet." "Sounds mysterious..." "Shall we go to your place?" "I'm so into my writing..." "No problem." "Thanks for the text." "We're about to close." "Oh God, look at you..." "An order is an order!" "Do you like it?" "Yes." "Do you want to put on any of my clothes?" "No, it's okay." "I thought you wanted to come tomorrow." "I thought you would be happy." "I am." ""We sat next to each other on the sofa..."" ""Agnes was leaning back against me."" ""I kissed her neck."" ""I had thought about this moment for a long time... "" ""... but as I started to talk, I had forgotten everything."" ""So I just asked her:" "Do you want to move in with me?"" "What does she say?" ""Agnes sat up and looked straight in my eyes."" ""Do you really mean that?" ", she said."" ""Of course, I replied."" "Do you really mean that?" "Of course." "I'm happy that you're back." "Me too." " "She looked at me gratefully? "" " You're nuts." "I prefer this." "What are you filming?" "That's all going to be blurry." "I know what I'm doing." "You're writing, I'm filming." "Have you got the map?" "Yes, don't worry." "Believe me, it will be great!" "Come in!" "Don't be a coward!" "I'm not tired of life." "That is ice-cold!" "Coward!" "Then I have to come and get you." "Don't you dare!" "I could live like that!" "Naked and really close to everything." "Aren't you afraid of disappearing anymore?" "I'm not afraid." "Are you still writing our story?" "The non-fiction book is time-consuming." "Something needs to happen so that the story stays interesting." "Aren't you happy then?" "I am happy, but that's not the point." "What is the point?" "Happiness just doesn't make a good story." "I need to pee." "Will you give me the pocket lamp?" "Agnes?" "Agnes!" "Do you think that's funny?" "!" "Agnes?" "Is everything ok?" "Agnes, hey!" "Say something!" "You lost consciousness!" "Maybe we should drive home tomorrow." "I bet you would like that." "But you're going to the doctor when we're back." "Yes." "Walter?" "How would you like to die?" "I don't know." "Probably so quickly that I don't notice it." "Maybe like that young woman." "Sudden heart attack." "Freezing to death shall be beautiful." "It probably happens quite slowly... but almost without any pain." "And when the end comes you don't feel the cold anymore." "It just feels really warm." "Hello!" "Agnes!" "Hello!" "Come in." "Chocolate mousse." "Do you like it?" "Yes." "Great that you're here!" "Sorry." " Jan, are you coming?" "Agnes is here!" "Put down your jackets there." "Get Daddy?" "These houses weren't built for humanitarian reasons." "And then the education programs... it's just about making the workers more dependent." "You should write about that in your book." "I don't think that my publisher would like that." "My book should be more..." "Oh Ben!" "Please!" "Ella, did you hurt yourself?" "It's time for bed." "However... we like it here." "The forest is close-by." "With kids there is no better place to live." "Say good night." "Good night." "In a friendlier way!" "See you later!" "Brush your teeth!" "How long have you actually known each other?" "Almost half a year." "And what are your plans for the future?" "Will you move back and forth?" "It took a while, until Jan found the right position here." "We don't have plans yet." "We will see." "Where can I smoke?" "Outside on the terrace..." "Sure you don't want to?" " No, thanks." "Do you hear the silence?" "One could simply disappear here." "The forest would absorb you and you would never be found." "Some day somebody will come by." "Hello." "I thought you were working at home." "I was having lunch." " And you?" "My professor sent me home." "I wasn't feeling well." "Are you feeling better?" "Yes." "I have to finish my "German Industries"." "My publisher becomes impatient." "What will you do when you've finished the book?" "Then I'll write the next one." "But where?" "No idea." "I mean... what happens with us when you've finished?" "We have to talk about that." "That's what I'm trying to do." "What do you want?" "I'm pregnant." " I'm going to have a baby." "Are you  are you sure?" "Yes." "I was at the doctor." "And?" "What do you say?" "You wanted something to happen." "I thought you were taking the pill." "The doctor said it can happen even then." "Did you do it on purpose... for the story?" "Are you stupid?" "!" "We hardly know each other." "Do you think so?" "Don't you?" "Do you want me to have an abortion?" "You don't love me." "Not really." "I never said that!" "That's not true." "I love you." " We have to talk." "Damn it, you keep saying "we have to talk" - but you never do!" "Screw you!" "Agnes is going to have your baby!" "Whether it fits in your story or not!" "You don't love me." "Not really." "I never said that!" "That's not true." "I love you." " We have to talk." "Damn it, you keep saying "we have to talk" - but you never do!" "Agnes is going to have your baby!" "Whether it fits in your story or not!" "Agnes, wait!" "Agnes..." "Agnes, I'm sorry..." "You're dead!" "Agnes..." "Agnes!" "What about the baby?" "Agnes..." "I'm so sorry..." "We'll handle it." "Agnes?" " I'll come and get my things at 5pm." "Your things?" " I don't want you to be there." " I'll put the key on the table." "And the baby?" " I'll have the baby, but you don't have to worry about it." " You don't want a baby." "You don't get a baby." "And now?" "She's gone." "Without a word." "I'm sorry about that." "Honestly." "What's her name?" "Emma." "Her name is Emma..." "I heard there are people doing it professionally..." "Yes, I heard that too." "She just woke up." "Walter, come on." "Yes..." "I think I have to take her." "Agnes?" " Hello, it's Niklas." "Who is that?" " You don't know me, I'm a friend of Agnes... she's not well." "It was an infection." "I was at the clinic for three days." "They performed a curettage." ""Not viable, the embryonic matter."" "I missed you." "I missed you too." "For how long do you have this flat ...?" "I can always extend it." "Agnes, when you were gone..." "I met another woman." "I wanted you to know that." "It means nothing to me." "It's fine, write it down." "Write down everything that happened." "It's too soon..." "Walter." "Give me some time." "Then everything will be alright." "I've written some more." "You got the baby." " In the story." ""A warm light fell through the orange curtains."" ""Agnes asked me whether I was happy."" ""I looked at Emma and then at Agnes"" ""Yes, I was happy."" "Emma..." "Do you like the name?" "If she's born on 4th of May, then she is..." "What is she then?" "A Taurus, I think." "I didn't know you were interested in astrology?" "I'm not." "What colour are her eyes?" " Have you already written about them?" "Not yet." "Write that they're blue!" "And that she's got thick, black hair." "Who does she get that from?" "!" " Hair colours change." " "She is a gentle... but happy baby."" ""I work at home, we go on long walks. "" " "My parents come one week after the birth."" ""My father was so emotional he cried."" ""In autumn we travel to the mountains." "Emma cries the whole time."" ""Her first tooth comes through."" ""In spring we move to another town."" " "Somewhere with parks and forests."" " "Emma starts walking when she's twelve months old."" ""She clears out all our shelves."" ""You are pregnant again."" " "Emma gets her own room."" "That really is a coincidence!" "I thought you left long ago." "Louise, this is Agnes - my girlfriend..." "Agnes, this is Louise." "She does PR for the industrial association." "Nice to meet you." "You too." "It's terrible, this Christmas shopping." "The same shit every year." "We only bought a new jacket for me." "Well then." "Merry Christmas." "For you as well." "See you." "My parents are throwing a big party on New Year's Eve." "If you have no plans?" "We don't know whether we'll be here." "A friend of my mother is a literature agent, might be interesting for you." "Just think about." "She's pretty." "Let's buy something for her!" "Do you think it's too large for her?" "What do you mean?" "Well, Emma." " I told you to stay with me." "Come on." "Let's go." "We don't need any of that." "Of course we need it." "The things we have are already too small for her!" "Agnes, wait!" "Here you are!" "I didn't know, how real it becomes." "You're cold." "I'm sorry." "I hoped it would help you." "It's not true." "It has to be true." "That was lovely." "Yes it was." "Are you still seeing Louise?" "I mean..." "There's nothing between us anymore." "And what happened between you two?" "Nothing." "I told her that you came back." "You came back." "Did you have sex with her?" "Is that important?" "Yes." "And did you have sex with Niklas?" "No." "Did you want to live with him and the baby?" "He's there for me." "So why did you come back to me?" "If you don't know that..." "Merry Christmas." "A friend who's visiting..." "I've got a bit of a cold." "Speak soon." "Don't your parents know anything about me?" " I don't tell them much." "Are they disappointed you won't come for the holidays?" " I haven't seen them for years." "I told them that I won't visit them in Majorca." "That sounds quite harsh." "It was tough for me too when they left." "They'll come if they need me." "It's nearly Christmas." "I'm going to the university." "You are ill." "I'll be back for dinner." "Susann is expecting her third child." "She asked if we want to rent their house." " In the colony?" "Yes." "I told her that we're looking for something." "Isn't that a bit far away?" "It takes over an hour to get to the university." "You can see the "swan" there." "The lightest star, Deneb, that is its tail tip." "I had no idea that you know so much about stars." "What do you know about me at all?" "Maybe we will move to another town." "You mean like in your story." "It's OUR story." "I'm cold, I'm going inside." "We don't need the story." ""Agnes was back with me."" ""We knew now that we belonged together."" ""And that knowledge helped her getting over the loss of the baby."" ""Just as the baby had once separated us  now its loss brought us back together."" ""Sorrow and pain bound us closer together than happiness ever had."" ""We celebrated New Year's Eve at home."" ""Agnes had a cold  but she wanted to welcome the New Year outside."" ""The people on the street were shouting and singing."" ""Agnes and I were hugging each other tight, while the crowd was still celebrating. "" "Actually I wanted to give this to you for Christmas..." "Do you like it?" "Yes... of course." "Are you satisfied?" "Don't know." "The end is always difficult..." "No, it's beautiful." "Thank you." "I'll have it bound for you." "Then you have your little book." "The book "Agnes"." "Yes." "Are you hungry as well?" "Are you still not feeling better?" "No, I can't concentrate." "I don't think I'll be well by New Year's Night." "Don't you want us to go out?" " I do." "I can't help being ill!" "But you can go to Louise's party." "We don't have to hang around here together..." "It's fine with me." "Really?" "Really." "She knows a lot of interesting people, that would be good for us." "Have you thought about the house?" "No, Agnes, I haven't yet." "Will you call me at midnight?" "Sure." "Take care." "Hey..." "I'm coming back!" "Just if you don't call." "Happy New Year!" "Why didn't you bring your sweet girlfriend along?" "Agnes is feeling ill." "I see." "It would have been nice if you had let me know." "I know." "But it all happened so fast..." "What do you mean by "I see"?" "I know that type of woman." "Always ill, but not dying." "And making sure that you always have a bad conscience." "I know I'm too early." "But I didn't want to forget it." "You're probably asleep already." ""Happy New Year"." "See you later." "I love you." ""I love you."" "Why didn't you invite any other friends of yours?" "Why should I?" "I've got you." "I'll introduce you to the agent." "Louise, I've drunk too much already." "We have decided that I'll move here." "We just need... some time." "Tonight was really wonderful." "And tomorrow night could be too." "You said you don't love me." "Yes." "Back then." "I'm not a good man, Louise." "Good enough for me." "I'll call you." "Agnes, are you still up?" ""Agnes left the apartment."" ""As Agnes got off the train, it was well past midnight."" ""But she could still hear the rockets going off  and sometime the whole sky was bright with fireworks."" " "Agnes was cold in spite of her winter coat..." " ... but even being cold seemed to be at a remove from her."" ""It was as though she knew she was cold, without feeling it"" " "In front of her lay the forest in utter darkness."" " "She blindly took a few steps into the darkness," " and then she was able to see again."" " "The sky that, tainted by the streetlights," " had been like an orange blanked over the suburb," " (the sky) was of a transparent blackness here."" " "The wind was gusty."" " "But the noise in Agnes' ears was loud enough to drown every sound every thought."" ""Slowly she got the feeling back, first in her feet, then in her hands, then in her arms and legs."" ""It spread, moving through her shoulders and her belly to her heart," " until it had gone though her whole body..." "...and it felt to her..." " ... as if she was glowing in the snow."" " "As if the snow must be melting underneath her."" ""Agnes didn't return."" ""All that's left of her now is this story."" "It begins on that day, nine months ago, when we first met in the library."" "AGNES" " A LOVE STORY"