"[Star Wars theme]" "Male announcer:" "Secret weapons!" "The Jedi Council deploys a squad of droids on a desperate mission aboard a Separatist cruiser." "Under the guidance of Colonel Meebur Gascon, the droids succeed in stealing a crucial encryption module." "Now the colonel and his droid squad must return the module to the Jedi Temple to crack a Separatist code detailing an impending terror plot against the Republic." "How long until my command center is operational again?" "[R2-D2 whistles and beeps]" "Okay, fine." "I meant how long until Beezee is operational again?" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "Well, make it fast." "We must get this encryption module back to the Republic as soon as possible." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "[computer chiming]" "Uh-oh." "[Beezee beeping]" "Oh, Beezee, you are all better." "[Beezee beeps]" "WAC, what are you doing back here?" "Who is flying this shuttle?" "I have good news and bad news, Colonel." "The bad news is, scans are picking up giant ice formations, commonly called comets, heading straight for us." "What?" "Wha" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "What in the world is the good news?" "At least you have a good excuse if your mission is a failure." "[grunting] Get out of my-- [alarm beeping]" "[gasps]" "Quick, drop us out of hyperspace." "[gasps]" "Whoa!" "[crashing]" "Look out!" "[crashing]" "[grunting]" "Whoa!" "[crashing] [engine powering down]" "The shuttle's power system has been knocked out." "I can see that." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "He says he can fix it." "[comets crashing]" "[beeping]" "And swinging right." "[droid beeps] [alarm beeping] [electronics powering down]" "Auxiliary power has been restored, but it is not enough to get us moving." "We need the primary motivators reestablished now." "Forget that." "We need the engines to come on." "That's what I'm saying." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "Uh-oh." "They just got bigger." "[alarm beeping]" "Come on, you lousy mechs." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "Uh, Colonel, we are headed for that comet." "Brace yourself!" "[chiming sound]" "The engines are back online!" "[engines whooshing] [crashing] [droids beeping wildly]" "Ah!" "[droid squealing] [droids beeping]" "[rockets blasting]" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "[R2-D2 beeps] [wheels squealing]" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "We have lost the stabilizers and primary control of the engines." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "We are going to have to put her down on that planet." "What planet is it?" "Is it Separatist-controlled?" "Who cares?" "I care." "We can't jeopardize the mission." "I think we are past that point, sir." "[alarm blaring]" "[ship whooshing] [droids beeping]" "[alarm blaring]" "We're going down!" "[crashing] [grunting]" "[whooshing and crunching]" "Ugh." "Oh." "I think I ruptured my gizzard." "[R2-D2 whistles]" "[R2-D2 whirring]" "[R2-D2 whimpering]" "Well, this is a fine mess you mechs got us into." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "Look at this." "All the database says is," ""Abafar:" "Information on planet void."" "[droid beeping]" "Don't be absurd." "We can't just go rushing off like fools into this--this void." "We need to stay put, consider all the facts, and then I'll, uh--I'll draw up a reconnaissance plan, and we can-- hey, hey!" "Where are you going, soldier?" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "He says we have to finish our mission." "[R2-D2 whistles]" "Hey!" "Where did you get that?" "That is classified material." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "I will not stand for insubordination." "Do not worry, Colonel." "I can lead the mission from here and return the module." "Maybe they'll give me a promotion." "Over my dead body." "Beezee, pop your top." "I will not let you droids commandeer my mission." "[R2-D2 beeps] [droids chirping]" "[gasps]" "Ugh, so hot." "Ugh, I can't believe I came this close to completing my first mission only to get lost in this detestable desert." "Look on the bright side, Colonel." "At least it is a sunny day." "What sun?" "I don't see any sun." "It's just hot and oppressive." "Wait a minute." "There's no sun." "How do we know which direction we're going?" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "You set your directional guidance to "straight"?" "That's all we're going on, some rudimentary programming directive in a lousy astromech?" "[R2-D2 warbles]" "Yes, I know you're designed for navigation, but that requires map coordinates and environmental input-- something we are sorely lacking here." "All right, we can't rely on technology." "We have to rely on my training, something you droids don't have." "How do you know, Colonel?" "Because droids don't get training." "You get programmed." "clang!" "[droid beeps]" "That's your weakness." "So how is your training going to lead us out of this void?" "Well, uh, my, uh, training as an officer tells me to use all available resources to, uh-- to stay alive until help comes." "So your officer training-- how exactly did you learn that?" "It was drilled into me by my superiors." "Then you were programmed." "Just like us." "What?" "No, I am not like you droids in any way." "I can think outside my program" "I mean, my training." "And I can make decisions based on a complex analysis of a situation, which is why I insist we return to the ship." "Wait a minute." "Why can't I find our tracks?" "There are not any." "What?" "I noticed it earlier." "This surface leaves no trace of us." "You noticed it earlier?" "Why in the world didn't you say anything?" "I did not think we would want to go backwards when forwards seems to be the only way out of this void." "[groans]" "Why are you thinking?" "I don't want you to think." "Thinking is my job." "I am the commanding officer." "You are just a pilot." "Oh, that hurt." "Ugh." "I have been thinking, Colonel." "I told you not to do that." "My programming keeps me focused on the task at hand, which means I do not have to worry about my health." "I just have to worry about the mission." "Don't even go there." "So I think" " Don't do that!" "When you die, I should lead D-Squad." "Stop!" "[droids clanking]" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "You are what's killing me!" "I can't believe I am forced to justify my existence with a droid!" "Ugh!" "I'm at the end!" "I can feel it!" "All I ask is that you just let me die with dignity!" "Is that possible?" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "What?" "Our ship?" "[laughs]" "You--you stupid lucky droids." "You have just taken us in a circle." "Wait a minute." "Is this really our ship?" "How long have we been gone?" "Ugh." "No, it is not our ship." "No, no, no!" "No, no, no!" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "[R2-D2 whimpers]" "Artoo is right." "This is what happens when you stay at the ship." "Why is this happening to me?" "[grunting] [whimpering]" "[droid beeping]" "Maybe he is going to jump and put himself out of his misery." "[droid chirping]" "Well, I vote for myself as the new leader of this mission." "[droids beeping]" "You cannot vote for Artoo." "He is just a mech." "He cannot lead a squadron." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "Help!" "There has to be something out there!" "Show me a sign." "A glimmer of hope!" "[sobbing]" "[Beezee warbling]" "I do not know who he is talking to." "Maybe whoever programmed him." "[groaning]" "[gasping]" "There!" "I see something." "Ooh, a village!" "[laughs] [laughing maniacally]" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "What are you waiting for?" "We're saved!" "[laughs maniacally]" "[giggling]" "What exactly do you see, Colonel?" "[panting] I don't know." "Hard to say." "An outpost." "Maybe a cantina." "Whatever it is, they can help us." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "I do not see anything either, Artoo." "He should have jumped." "No." "We're going in circles again." "[giggling maniacally]" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "I agree." "We cannot trust his training anymore." "But I cannot trust your programming either, especially if you will not vote for me to be the new leader." "[R2-D2 beeps]" "Where are you going now?" "[droids beeping] [laughing]" "Hey, that is not true." "I am more than just a pilot!" "We need a new plan, Colonel." "I just realized:" "what if I'm dead?" "Ooh, what if I died in that shuttle crash and now--now I'm stuck here in limbo?" "Yes." "I should have gone with the mechs." "Think about it." "Life." "Life is a void." "We search and search for answers, but there are none." "Hope is just an illusion, WAC." "Death is the only certainty." "Giving up is not in my programming." "I am surprised that it is in yours, Colonel." "Maybe-- maybe you're right." "I was taught to find a rational solution to every problem." "But this void-- this proves that that's not always possible." "Maybe I need to change how I see things, and that will change my programming, my training." "You know what?" "You are more than just a pilot, WAC." "[laughs]" "I knew it!" "I knew it!" "[laughing]" "All right, all right, calm down, soldier." "[water bottle clanking]" "[rumbling] [footfalls thundering] [creatures squawking]" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "[laughs]" "This is our way out of the void!" "You have lost your mind, Colonel!" "No!" "This is our only hope!" "We've got to stop following my training or your programming and follow the birds' instincts!" "Grab hold!" "Like this?" "Whoa!" "[creatures squawking]" "Look." "I can see a town from here." "You can see that, right?" "I sure can." "How did you know, Colonel, that these creatures would get us out of the void?" "[laughs]" "You've got your programming." "I've got my training." "But these creatures, they have their instinct." "They know how to survive out here." "If you say so." "[creatures squawking]" "[R2-D2 whistles]" "I don't believe it." "Those mechs beat us here." "Stupid lucky droids." "Just like you said, Colonel." "Tell you what, WAC." "Why don't you get the squad ready to roll?" "I've got a second chance to complete this mission, and I intend to take advantage of it." "After I rehydrate myself." "That'll be all, Corporal." "Corporal?" "Yes, sir." "The squad will be ready to roll." "Attention!" "Front and center, soldiers!" "I want us ready to roll pronto, pronto!" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "That is Corporal WAC to you, soldier." "And I will not tolerate insubordination!" "[R2-D2 beeps]" "[R2-D2 chuckles]"