"Ready?" "Did you know ties were first used by Croatian soldiers in the 1600s?" "Probably so they could hang themselves if captured." "You look great." "He's invited us to dinner to "pay homage to love"." "That's like Mengele inviting you for a shower." " I'm going down to the car." " You think I'm exaggerating?" " Maybe a little?" " We'll see." "Hang on." "You look fantastic." "In places, Bråviken Bay is only as deep as wedding cake." " Eva, Dag, welcome!" " Thank you." "You look lovely." "Good treatment?" "What a feast!" "Open your heart and it's easy to open your door." "Are we here to celebrate your new personality?" "No." "We are here to celebrate that part of my personality has come back to life." " Cheer and welcome." " Cheers." "As Saint-Exupéry says:" ""Only with the heart can on see rightly."" "Love of life, Dag." ""Rarely is someone so destroyed as when they base their happiness   on a foundation of fleeting emotions."" "Fantastic." "The more bitter you are, the happier it makes me." "I'm afraid they always do." "A sort of verbal penis competition." "Is that what it is, Dag?" "A penis competition?" "I've been here one minute, and we're already discussing my cock?" " Hi!" " Speaking of penises..." "Wine!" " Thank you." " You seem comfortable here." "You look as pleased as a freshly-fucked cat." "On the contrary." "I actually decided to stop having sex." " Huh?" " Say what?" "Nothing good has come from me having sex, except my son." "I've been jumping from vagina to vagina like a toad of water lilies." "Every time you think you can rest, they sink." "So no more sex, no more chaos." " So true." " Yeah." "Has everyone helped themselves?" "Good." "Since we've started making confessions..." "You're probably wondering why I invited you here." "I had an epiphany the other day,   when Benedikt, Mia and Alexander were here." "Take a regular coin and place it 25 meters away." "The area of sky it covers contains 10.000 galaxies." "If you look at rays of sunshine streaming through a window,   you can discern every single speck of dust." "One of those specks of dust is us." "Everyone you know or have heard of." "Every human who has ever existed is on that speck of dust." "Every traitor." "Every hero." "Every mother and father,   every child full of expectations." "Every leader, superhero, saint and sinner - in the history of mankind has lived there." "On that tine little speck of dust." "Nothing matters." "Everything is pointless." "We all try to flee from this fact." "Eva, by traveling." "Benedikt, by sleeping around." "Dag, by isolating himself." "And I, through cynicism." "And we all know how much that helps." "But I have found another answer." "Something here and now." "Something to worship that doesn't demand submission." "That allows me to live life to the fullest." "Everything changed for me when I met this person." "Someone who is totally and fully herself." "Who revealed herself to me." "Juanita." "Will you marry me?" "Thank you." "You didn't tell him about the penis?" " Nope," " Maybe we should?" "You haven't known each other long" "You don't know each other inside and out, as it were?" "This feels right, and that's enough." "But..." "Dammit!" " I thought you had quit." " I don't want to." "I don't want to!" "Let us raise our glassed." " Cheers." " Hear, hear." "I'll be right back." "I'm feeling a little shaky." "It isn't every day..." " Congratulations." " This is wrong." "He'll find out eventually." "OK, come on." "I know where he is." "Excuse us." "We'll be right back." "Everything's fine." "Yeah!" " Aperitif?" " No thanks." "I haven't been nervous in ages." "I tried something similar myself recently." "OK, Butch and Sundance, what is it?" "The thing is, when I told you she just needed some rest..." " Yes?" " That wasn't the entire truth." "I mean, it is true, but there's more to it." "She..." "Shit, eh..." "She is sick." "She has AIDS." "She's dying." "I know." "And there's one other minor detail." "That she... is a man." "I'm aware of that too." "So what?" "I have met a human being who is 100 % herself." "No matter what nature intended her to be." " In addition she is gorgeous." " Yes." "When do you think love is most powerful, Dag?" "When you know you have 40 years to live, or when it might end tomorrow?" "Death, Dag." "That's what gives us proper perspective, remember?" "I think I'll take a hit anyway." "You're going to live longer than that." "You're getting married, and..." "You have some serious gender issues." "Of course I will." "Should I ask Leon if he wants to be a bridesmaid?" "I'm sure he'd love to see his dad get married." "And see how great you look in your gown." " Where have you been?" " Discussing life." " Where is Benedikt?" " Isn't he with you?" " He must have stayed behind." " Come on, don't stop now!" " Speaking of penises..." " Dammit, no!" "I have zero impulse control!" " No argument there." " All is good, dad." "All is good." " Maybe we should leave them alone?" " Good idea." "Yeah...!" "Dwarf!" "That's why I lock my door." " Has life always been this chaotic?" " Not when I was alone." " Without me?" " Without any humans at all." " You know it's you and me now, Dag?" " Yes." "Thank God." " And that doesn't make you nervous?" " Not in the least." "Will we stay together forever?" "Without a doubt in my mind." " How can you be so sure?" " Anything else would be pointless." "You Nazi whore!" "Come back here!" "Shave the German tart's head!" " Come back here!" " Where did she go?" " Find that German-loving whore!" " Shave her head!" "Why?" "Why?" "In need of help, Miss?" "Is it you?" "Is it really you?" " It has always been me." " Odd Magnus Williamson!" "Everything will be OK now." "Let's go home, my little German tart." "Sleep tight, my boy." "I love you, Alexander." "Yes." "Sure." "That was nice." "Thanks for letting me talk to him." "Of course." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Not at all." "I like singing." "It was my pleasure." "OK, I understand." "Say hi to Tom." "Yes." "Bye." "Holy shit..." "That's one of the worst feelings there is." "Being inadequate when it comes to your children." "But, Benedikt..." "I think you should let yourself love yourself a little more." "Then you could stop proving to yourself what a lousy person you are." "Like I said in there:" "You have no one else to rely on but yourself." "Like you said earlier:" "Enough is enough." "Is Benedikt here?" "Benedikt?" "No, he's a little busy." "Why?" "He has to drive us." "Are you all right?" "Is there any room at the inn?" "We need to rest before we travel on." "I think I've had my fill for tonight." "Let me know if anything happens." "Actually, don't." "You're welcome to sleep in our hallway, if you'd like." "Would that be OK?" "Your hallway would be fine." "The last one got a stable." "The last what?" " Mary." " Who is...?" "The mother of Christ." "So..." "Your child is...?" "The son of God." "Right." "You look skeptical." "I'm not used to seeing the son of God." "People were skeptical to hear the Messiah was born in a stable." "And lay in a manger, next to a sheep." "I would have doubted that too." "Yet there are 2.1 billion Christians in the world." "Muhammad was 40 and lived in a cave when he started preaching." "Yet there are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world." " Did everything go OK?" " Sure." " We watched Cars and played." " Excellent." "Imagine, you were normal like that once." "We're all normal in the eyes of God." " Should I get you a blanket?" " No need." "We live simply on the road." " To...?" " Mecca." " That's the wrong religion?" " My son was born a Muslim." "That is God's plan, to create peace and calm." "So we're talking the virgin birth of a Christian Muslim?" "Religion is an insult to our dignity." "It should be based on love." "My son has been sent to create the first non-judgmental religion." "You look doubtful again." "Primarily because you aren't a virgin." "True enough." "But no man made me pregnant." " It was the Holy Spirit." " He came inside you?" "I came, and then he came inside me." "As you know, I'm very fond of sex." "Lately, mostly with myself." "So..." "I had..." "I had sex with this,   and the following day I was pregnant." "In 100 years, when all religious wars are over,   people will wear a copy of this instead of a cross." "The cross represents pain and suffering." "This represents cleansing, love and pleasure." "Take away love, and the world is nothing but a grave." "Those crazies who crucify themselves every Easter, now only have to shower." " Anything to eat or drink?" " No, Lloyd and I are fine." "The son of God..." "Lloyd?" "Don't you think that sounds better than Jesus?" "Have you considered finding someone to love?" "Or trying to settle for what this life has to offer?" "No?" "Go with Lloyd." "Thanks." " What's up?" " Good morning." " Is it?" " Yes, the best one in a long time." "I was thinking, after dinner last night..." "Coffee?" "Yes, please." " Here you go." " Thanks." " What is that?" " This is a chart over our new routine." "OK..." "As I view it, you and I are a perfect match." "The only problem is that we both like time to ourselves." "That is a challenge." "So I have divided the rooms in the apartment into specific times." "I eat breakfast alone, then you eat breakfast alone." "We take turns in the bathroom, take turns watching Leon." "And we have two hours of quality time nightly." "We can use that for a movie, TV, sex, or listening to an album." "Thereby feeling comfortably alone while in the same apartment." "We'll get more spare time   and look forward to meeting every evening," "Come here." " You're a cohabitational genius." " I know." "It's my job." "Control yourself, Miss." "My breakfast time starts now." "Hold that thought for tonight." "I'll wake up Leon in a half-hour." "And the nun has left." "She's on her way to Benedikt and Mecca."