"Hi." "This is Kat." "Leave a message and I'll call you back." "Hi, Kat." "This is Nick Mercer." "Sorry I didn't get back to you last night, but I got your messages." "All seven of them." "I know you're nervous, Kat... but this is what I get paid for." "Now I'm running a little late so I sent a messenger to pick up my ticket." "And Kat, stop worrying." "Your ex-fiance will wish he never left you, and your family will think we're in love." "You're going to have to trust me." "I'll see you at the airport." "I can't wait to meet you." "So sorry." "I wasn't quite ready for you." "Is a plane ticket." "For a date." "My date... for my sister's wedding, in London." "You need to let go." "You're gonna have to help me." ""Leave me breathless"" ""The daylighs fading slowly"" ""But time you is standing still,"" ""I'm waiting for you only."" ""This light is touched and I feel weak."" ""I cannot lie."" ""From you I cannot hide."" ""I'm losing the will to try."" ""Can't hide it." "Can't hide it." "Can't fight it." "Can't fight it."" ""So go on." "Go on."" " "Come on." "Leave me breathless"" " Ow." ""Tempt me." "Tease me."" ""Until I can't deny this loving feeling."" ""Feeling." "Make me long for your kiss."" ""Go on." "Go on." "Yeah"" ""Come on." "Yeah."" ""And if there's tomorrow." "And all we have is here and now."" ""I'm happy just to have you."" ""You're all the love I need somehow."" ""Is like a dream."" ""Although I'm not asleep."" ""I never want to wake up."" ""Don't lose it." "Don't lose it." "Don't leave it." "Don't leave it."" ""So go on." "Go on"" ""Come on leave me breathless."" ""Tempt me." "Tease me."" ""Until I can't deny this loving feeling."" ""Feeling." "Make me long for your kiss"" ""Go on." "Go on."" ""Come on."" ""Leave me breathless."" ""Tempt me." "Tease me." "Till I can't deny this..."" ""Loving Feeling." "Feeling."" ""Make me long for your kiss."" ""Go on." "Go on."" ""Come on leave me breathless."" ""Go on." "Go on."" "H-356 to London, Heathrow." "All remaining passengers, please make your way to gate number..." "Perry, I'm not working today." "I'm going to my sister's wedding." "Customer service will have to survive without me." "But Kat, we had three flights coming in and two reps called in sick, and, and, and... and a two-five-oh-five on the 820 CBD to LGW, and... oh, and this guy on line 2, who got stuck with his in-laws" "because we couldn't get him out of Heathrow." "Perry..." "I'd love to help you, sincerely, but I haven't seen my family in two years... and my flight leaves in 15 minutes." "Uh, Kat?" "Please." "I'm begging you." "Bump the 14-14 to the upper on 16-10." "What about line 2?" "Check my bags." "I completely understand." "You just want your family to see you the way you see yourself, or at least the way you would see yourself if you didn't feel so victimized by them all the time." "Hello?" "Mr. Rajakapaw, we regret that you were inconvenienced." "Unfortunately, we are not liable." "But just this once I'm going to refund the full price of your ticket and credit you 10,000 frequent flyer miles." "Thank you for calling Virgin Atlantic." "Your first trip?" "My sister's getting married and the best man is my ex." "In case I chicken out, I want to know where all the exits are." "I'm not a knuckler." "I fly all the time." "The reason I can't feel my legs... is that any second my date is going to sit down in 3B and" "I need him to look really, really, really, really good today." "Hello, 3B." "Thank you." "Hey." "Kat." "Les sit." "I'm glad you found it okay." "The airport... the plane, I mean." "I'm sorry we couldn't leave sooner." "I know you wanted a few hours to get settled before the party." "Work must be crazy." "Oh, I should warn you." "You know those families where everyone's out of their mind but at the end of the day, they're family, so you love them?" "Mine is not like that." "I love my dad." "But since he's my stepdad, he's technically not family." "He's more like a hostage." "Ladies and Gentlemen, we will shortly be arriving at London Heathrow." "On arrival, please remain seated until the seatbelt sign has been switched off." "Local time is 4:22 PM, and the temperature is a warm 21 degrees." "Good morning." "Thas 70 degrees Fahrenheit." "We would like to thank you for flying with us today, and look forward to seeing you again soon." "Oh!" "Oh, Nick, please tell me you're not wearing that tonight." "I am." "Is no big deal." "Really." "It, it just looks like a tailor cut off a yard of my dress and made your tie out of it." "Don't get me wrong." "Matching is fine." "Is matchy-matchy you want to look out for." "This is definitely matchy-matchy." "You think we look like we're trying too hard." "Exactly." "I want us to look like we fit, but not like we're trying too hard to look like we fit." "Let me teach you a trick." "If you look people in the eye they'll never notice what you're wearing" "Well, there's no way I'm showing up in his and her outfits." "So if you're going to wear that tie, I have to change my dress." "Driver?" "Will you please pull over somewhere?" "I'm sorry." "I promise, Nick this is the last one." "You must think that..." "Oh, who knows what you think?" "I know how important this is for you... but remember, you're a beautiful woman and, um, you've got everything in the world going for you." "Don't patronize me." "I feel like crap, and if I'm going to feel like crap..." "I want to look hot doing it." "Mission accomplished." "Really?" "Don't get too attached." "I prefer the red one." "I'll let her know." "Hmm." ""Hmm"... nice dress?" "Or," ""hmm, gorgeous." "I was insane to let you go?"" "Well, I'd shag you." "If thas all right with you?" "I don't know if I can do this." "Well, you're never going to be sure of anyhing, but we still have to go inside." "Aunt Bea!" "Dear girl." "This should have been you getting married." "You know... you didn't have to return the gravy boat." "And to think Jeffrey is the best man." "Have you met Nick?" " How do you do?" " Oh." "Charming." "And what do you do?" "Excuse us." "What a nightmare." "Okay, we need a story." "You're a therapist, we just started dating, and you're crazy about me." "Count it." "Six thousand, even." "Oh, I trust you." "No... count it." "All right." "I tell you what." "I'll cover expenses... but if you want to be intimate, we talk money before anyhing happens." "Oh, no, no." "That won't be an issue, believe me." "I find the idea of sex for money morally repugnant." "I'm sorry." "No offense." "Do me a favor..." "quit apologizing." "If you look at this for what it is, a simple business transaction, maybe... you won't feel so compelled to keep saying, "I'm sorry."" "I'm sorry." "Is also really annoying." "Sorry... sorry." "Pussycat!" "What happened to you?" "Pull over for a quickie." "Mom, this is so not the time to be yourself." "And who might this be?" "Hi." "I'm the new guy." "Is great to meet you." "Lovely." "This is a marathon, not a sprint." "We've got welcome cocktails today... then tomorrow is Young People in the Park, followed by Stags and Hens." "Friday is a picnic, then the rehearsal dinner... and since you have so foolishly left no margin for jet lag," "I need you to hydrate." "Okay, Mom." "Dad." "My darling." "Meet Nick." " Ah." " Professor Ellis." "How do you do?" "Kat?" "Kat." "Oh!" " I'm getting married." "Oh, Kitty." " Hey." "Oh, I missed you so much." "Gosh." "Who's the hunky, huh?" "Nice." "Uh..." "There you are." "Get over here." "What?" "Um..." "At times like this..." "I find a good stiff drink helps, don't you?" "Oh, well, can I get you a refill, Sir?" "Oh." "Very kind of you." "Where did you find him?" "Thank you." "Yellow Pages." "Hello?" "What the hell?" "Oh, sweet Jesus." "Who gave that woman an amp?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Oh, wonderful." "Is finally working." "All right, does everybody have a drink?" "Because I am going to say a few words." "Welcome, friends and family." "Um..." "Victor and I are so happy... that you're here to celebrate with us... as we welcome Edward and the Fletcher-Wootens into our family." "You know, is funny... we always thought that we would marry off Kat first." "We had good reason to hope, because she was so popular with the boys at school, and we came pretty close, once, but, as you all know, that crashed and burned." "Uh..." "luckily... we were able to get the deposit back, so, uh, here we are again." "To the bride and groom." "Ah, yes, yes." "Well, back to the bride and groom to-be." "I'm... um..." "Edward... we are so glad that you fell in love with the girl-next-door, our Amy." "Congratulations, babies." "Congratulations." "Jeffrey." "Hello..." "Katmandu." "Wow." "You look... gorgeous." "Gorgeous." "Oh my God!" "Oh my God!" "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." "A tom Kat!" "Where the bloody hell have you been?" "I have gynecologists that call more often." " You have more than one gynecologist?" " You... have to play them off against each other." "Otherwise they think you're easy." "Hello, asshole." "Listen, since you dumped my cousin brutally and without cause, you won't mind if I just steal her away, will you?" "Thanks." "You didn't have to do that." "I wasn't saving you from him." "I was saving you from yourself." "You, my love, are too bloody nice." "I don't think I have ever seen so many beautiful women in one room." "By the way." "Did you bring a date?" "Darling, why waste 10 more seconds on that horse's ass when" "Mr. Tie-Me-Up-Tie-Me-Down is waiting for you over there?" "Ah." "What does he do, anyway?" "He's a therapist." "The perils of parenthood." "Oh God." "I think I've just come." "Thank you." "Can I have that?" "Hmm." "Hmm hmm." "Now, do you know what I love about all this, Kat?" "There's finally a reason for the whole world to revolve around you?" "Exactly." "There you are." "How's the future Mrs?" "I'm perfect." "I'm all ginny." "Oh, Snufflepuff." "Mm-mm-mm." "Wow." "Am I not the luckiest bastard on earth?" "Oh?" "Well, I'll dance to that." "Woo." "Oh..." "Jesus." "You know, thas what he gets for not taking dance lessons until two days before the wedding." "Oh, come on." "Who's ever heard of dance lessons for a wedding?" "Well, just about everyone." "You... you are taking the piss?" "We'll go with you." "I don't even know you, hunky-dunky, and I love you already." "Dance lessons?" "Hmm." "All right." "Hey." "Oh... hello." "Weddings are a celebration of love and commitment... in utopia." "In the real world, they are an excuse to drink excessively and say things you shouldn't." "A philosopher, huh?" "A shrink." "Crikey." "What?" "No, nothing." "What?" "Tell me." "Well, you Yanks and your therapies." "Is a lot of touchy-feely mumbo-jumbo." "Spilling your guts to a total stranger." "I don't think is natural." "Oh God." "Is just... well, there's this girl that I... care for." "Well, I suppose you could say I love her." "But, the bugger is, of course, she's here with some other guy." "Here you are." "Hey, Kat." "Hey, Kat." "Oh." "Hey, yourself." "I see you met my ex." "I was just telling him how we met." "Hmm." "The Knicks game." "Oh, yes." "Yeah." "Oh." "But you hate sports." "I hate cricket." "Right." "Yeah..." "Well..." "I should go and... go." "He looks miserable." "What were you talking about anyway?" "Well, he seems a little drunk, but I think he's still crazy about you." " Do I know you from somewhere?" " No." "What did he say?" "You don't... you don't... you don't think he wants me back?" ""I've stopped making sense"" ""I always make mistakes at my expense"" ""Love has pierced the sea"" ""And you're the sun that shines down upon me"" ""And when we are together"" ""And when we are apart"" "Um... oh... um, are you okay?" "Here we are." " My God." " Ugh." "Oh." "Thanks, Mom." "Here you are, darling." "Thanks, Dad." "Oh." "Thanks again for having me." "Oh don't be silly." "Is wonderful to finally meet you." "Although technically I never even knew you existed." "Come on, Bunny." "I love surprises." "Where's Nick sleeping?" "My mother has this rule about men and women sharing a room when there's no ring involved." "She's say is un..." "Don't be silly." "What?" "I am not as small-town as my daughter seems to think." "Sorry about this." "I went through a painfully earnest floral phase." "Air Supply?" "Oh, my, um, my parents had a German exchange student a few years back." "They must have left it here." "Everyone knows the greatest hits." "Some of their lesser-known ballads are surprisingly poignant." "Is that an old habit from ballet class or... from a lifetime of walking on eggshells?" "I never took ballet." "How did you know that was me?" "I have a friend at the magazine." "So much for anonymity." "Go ahead." "Take a look." "Is part of the package." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "I'm just a little nervous." "I... never thought anyhing like this could happen to me." "This happened to you?" "Happened in the sense that I picked up the phone, tracked you down flew you over here and gave you six thousand dollars out of my 401 K." "Oh, will you grab my shampoo, please?" "Shampoo." "Got it." ""I'm all out of love"" ""I'm so lost without you"" ""I know you... were right"" ""Baby even for so..." "long"" ""I'm all out of love"" ""What am I without you"" ""I can't be too late"" ""To say that I was so wrong"" "Um... the part where you were a sexual surrogate and then you started to branch out... is... is that really how it happened?" "The real story... my mother was a hippie... and a stripper." "She was insanely inappropriate with me." "She used to wash her lingerie in my bathwater while I was still in it." "Oh... no." "So as an adult, I needed to find ways to experience intimacy and sex but with rules that couldn't be violated." "Wow." "I'm just screwing with you." "You shit." "Okay... this part." "You say, and I quote..." ""Every woman has the exact love life she wants."" "Now that seems like a pretty broad generaliza..." "Oh!" "Ah." "Do you honestly believe... that I want to be single and miserable?" "Do you think that I want to be hung up on some guy who led me on for years and out of the blue just shattered my heart?" "Well, first of all, there's no such thing as out of the blue, and second of all... yeah." "What?" "When you're ready to let go, to be un-single and un-miserable, you will." "Until then..." "So when you were talking to Jeffrey before, how did he sound?" "Like a harmless, self-absorbed toolbox." "Seriously." "He sounded tormented." "Tormented how?" "Like he's... jealous that I'm here with someone else, or like... he regrets throwing away our life together?" "Is just that... this hasn't really turned out the way that I thought it would." "Hey?" "Hey, Nick?" "Whoa..." "He seems more mature." "Run, you fat tart!" "Come on!" ""Shooby-dooby-dooby dooby do-wop-wop"" ""Shooby-dooby-dooby dooby-do-wop-wop"" "Come on." "Throw it!" "Throw it!" ""One Fine day, You'll look at me"" ""And you will know." "Our..."" "Well played, darling." "Ed!" "What?" ""One fine day..."" "You ready TJ?" "Bugger off, Jeffrey." ""Want me for your girl"" "WHOO!" "All right." "Hey, batter, batter." ""The arms I long for"" ""Will open... wide"" ""And you'd be proud to... have me"" ""Right by... your side"" ""One fine day"" ""You're going to want me for your girl"" ""Shooby-dooby do-wop"" ""Though I know you're the..."" ""kind of boy"" "Come on, Kat." ""Who only wants to run around"" "Batter up." "You're up, Kat." ""I'll keep waiting and..."" ""someday, darling"" ""You'll come to me"" ""When you want to settle down"" ""Oh"" "Be nice to me, Jeffrey." ""One fine day"" ""We'll meet once... more"" ""And then you'll want..."" "Out!" "Yes!" ""The way before"" "Hoo-ah." "Hoo-ah-hoo-ah." ""One fine day"" "Lose the game." ""You're going to want me for your girl"" "No!" "Come on!" "Edward." "Come on!" "Get him out." " Get him out!" " Go on... you sexy little monkey." "Come on." "You're supposed to be helping." "Oh, trust me." "I am." "Damn." ""Oh yeah"" ""You're going want me for your girl"" ""One fine... day"" ""One fine... day"" ""Oh yeah"" ""One fine day"" "Whas with the socks?" "Is a golf-themed bachelorette." "Have you ever done a wedding before?" "No." "But I have done Funerals." "An escort at a funeral?" "Someone's dead." "Yeah." "Imagine facing that alone." "Ah." "Catch." "Make sure he stays on the right side of the road." "Which is, of course, the left." "Thas right." "So... are you ever attracted to your clients?" "I know you're curious about my business, but uh..." "I really can't discuss other clients." "Come on, Nick." "How many of them want to sleep with you?" "You know, I swear, is not about the sex." "Is about having a little understanding of what people need." "Please." "You're like that Yoda of escorts." "Getting you on the phone was harder than getting into college." "No." "I don't play games." "No gimmicks." "Mm-hmm" "Is much more, um..." "Subtle?" "Is not about me." "Is about you." "Show me." "Come on." "Hmm." "Whas holding me back?" "I think is the words "morally repugnant."" "Show me." "Close your eyes." "Close your eyes." "Close your eyes." "You're safe." "You can relax." "I'm not going to kiss you." "He's going to be so sorry he lost you." "So... stop worrying." "Forget the past." "Forget the pain." "And remember what an incredible woman you are." "You do that and he'll realize what he lost." "Holy crap." "You're worth every penny." "You should get going." "Mm-hmm." "Okay, Yoda." "To Amy!" "I thought you might need this." "Silly me." "Where was my head?" "Bye." "Listen, why don't you stay and have a little fiery drink with us, eh?" "Uh..." "Yeah." "Is fine." "Is fine." "Come on." "You know you want to." "Come on." "Yeah, we..." " Oh, I can see why." " You're lovely." "Isn't he lovely?" "Have you smelled him?" "Oh, he smells lovely." "Thank you." "Can you believe Kat actually gets to shag this guy?" "No." "Really." "You should send God a bottle of wine or a quiche or something." "Look at those buns." "Fresh from the bakery." "Must feel great getting paid just for being you." "Who says I'm being me?" "Excuse me." "Oh, Amy, thank you for granting me a rare glimpse into a timeless female ritual." "Here's to the husbands who have won you, the losers who lost you and the lucky bastards who have yet to meet you." "Is the cock in the hen house." "Whoo!" "I can't believe you found him first." "God, I am so depressed." "Will somebody buy my hoo-ha a drink?" "Do you remember when we took the girls hiking in the Lake District?" "No." "Yeah, you do." "Blistering heat in the morning, and pouring with rain all afternoon." "No." "You backed your car over that copper's bicycle." "No." "Sorry." "No." "The Rat and Gherkin." "Mmm hmm-hmm." "Splendid local scrumpy." "Mm-hmm." "Amy wore that little bikini thing." "Yet, somehow it was Kat that got stung by nettles." "Kat never said a word until Amy caught her scratching her ass in the toilet." "Then you very sweetly rubbed it with a doc leaf to bring down the swelling." "Yeah." "I didn't deserve her back then." "And you do now?" "What is his problem?" "What?" "There's something about him I don't like." "He's got less than nine-percent body fat and he's shagging your ex-girlfriend." "No." "That is not it." "I mean look at him." "He's walking around all American." "Like he owns the place." "Oh, no!" "Come on." "This is your last chance." "Woody?" "Not yet, but is getting there." "Oh, my God." "What are you doing here?" "I thought you were in San Francisco." "Or what was it Nepal?" "Close." "Sydney... but it turns out that I missed the rain." "Did Kat tell you that she dumped you because of your funky breath?" "She's drunk." "No." "But I didn't..." "I didn't really dump you." "Right?" "Uh... uh, but it was understandable." "You were one of the hottest girls in school." "Yeah, and, and we know that Kat was one of the hottest ex-pats in school... because she was voted Best Eyes, and Brightest Smile, and..." "the Most Likely to Age Well." "You're my half-sister but I whole..." "love you." "How about you get my half sister her, uh, seventh hole?" "Mmm." "Tequila." "Tequila, please." "Sure" "Are you all right?" "I don't know if I can do this." "The seventh hole?" "No, no... the wedding." "I shouldn't be allowed to get married." "I shouldn't." "What are you talking about?" "TJ!" "Woo!" "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Whas wrong with Jeffrey?" "As if I would sleep with a stripper." "I'm about to get married." "You have to..." "I mean, you know..." "Is been my experience that a man in love doesn't want a prostitute." "Eddie you did the right thing." "How do you know so much..." "about so... much?" "I'm a hooker." "I like that." "Yeah, yeah." ""I got that feeling baby"" ""Baby"" ""Sometimes I'm up"" ""Sometimes I'm down"" ""I said level with the ground"" ""Baby"" ""You treat me... bad"" ""Oh"" "Shh!" ""Oh no"" ""I know..."" ""I know you don't mean it now"" " Is not working." " Kat, you... you get over here." ""I don't want you to say bye bye"" ""Yeah"" ""Baby"" ""I got that feeling baby"" "Come here." "Scoot over." "I just don't feel very well." "I need to go and puke." "Ladies..." "How much do you rock, TJ?" "That was a top night." "Woo!" "Top night!" "Yeah!" ""Come on now"" ""Oh"" ""Oh"" ""Oh"" "See ya, TJ." "Yeah!" "Woo!" "All right!" "She's getting married!" ""I know I was so wrong"" ""I'm all out of love"" ""I'm so lost without you"" ""I know you were right"" ""Believing for so long"" ""I'm all out of love"" ""What am I without you"" ""I can't be too late"" ""I know I was so wrong"" ""I'm all out of love"" ""What am I without you"" ""I can't be too late"" ""To say that I was so wrong"" "Are you okay?" "Shh." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Ah!" ""Watch the sunrise"" ""Say your goodbyes"" ""Off we go"" ""Some conversation"" ""No contemplation"" ""Hit the road"" ""Car overheats." "Jumped out of my seat"" ""On the side of the highway"" ""Baby"" ""I know I don't know you"" ""But I want you so bad"" ""Everyone has a secret"" ""Oh, can they keep it"" ""Oh, no they can't"" ""Da da da da da da da dum"" ""Da da" "Oh oh oh oh"" ""Oh love, love, love, love"" ""Dum dum dum dum"" ""Dum dum dum dum"" ""Yeah"" ""Yeah"" ""Yeah"" "Morning." "Morning." "Ahoy there!" "Hi, Dad." "I don't know what works for you, but I brought you some black coffee, some really stale crackers, an egg and cheese sandwich and a Bloody Mary." "Thas very sweet of you... but I need to ask you something." "What happened last night?" "Nothing." "Thanks." "Oh!" "Is this for last night?" "No, of course not." "How could it be?" "Nothing happened." "Well, if I was going to charge you, I would have told you beforehand." "I thought I explained that." "I..." "I didn't want you to think that I was expecting anyhing for free, or that I was expecting anyhing at all." "I mean, of course... obviously I was expecting something, or else I wouldn't have stopped at that ATM on my way home." "Well, just so you know, you're 300 short." "Wait a minute." "You're telling me that if something happened last night, I'd have to pay you $1700?" "Thas a down payment on a Ford Focus." "Not dollars." "Pounds." "Besides, it includes..." "you know." "Thas the extra 300." "Are you a boatsman, son?" "I am now, Sir." "Well, I'm glad someone's making use of her at last." "The boat, I mean." "To defile." "Four letters." "Good morning, Daddy." "Ah." "What if I didn't want you to do that to me?" "The 300 is for you doing it to me." "What?" "Believe me, if anyhing had happened, it would have been one of the highlights for you." "But nothing did." "Yup." "Thas why you get to keep your money." "The wedding dance is the most important dance moment in a person's life." "A room full of friends and family... watching, smiling, betting on how long the marriage will last." "All you'll have is each other and whatever skills you acquire today." "And pair off." "Breathe." "Good." "Thas a nice position." "Now, your left foot, her right foot." "Good, and we're trying to glide across the floor." "Come a little bit closer together." "Move in." "Trying to turn... trying to turn here." "Whas the matter, Nick?" "Two left feet?" "Oh!" ""When we dance..."" ""you have a way with me"" ""Stay with me"" ""Sway with me"" ""Other dancers may be on the floor"" ""Dear" "But my eyes will see only you"" ""Only you have that magic technique"" ""When we sway I go weak"" ""I can hear the sound of violins"" ""Long before it begins"" ""Make me thrill as only you know how"" ""Sway me smooth"" ""Sway me now"" ""Like a flower bending in the breeze"" ""Bend with me." "Sway with ease"" ""When we dance you have a way with me"" ""Stay with me"" ""Sway with me"" ""Like a flower bending in the breeze"" ""Bend with me"" ""Sway with ease"" ""When we dance you have a way with me"" "When I told you I'd never done a wedding before..." "It wasn't because I've never been asked." "I've just never said "yes."" "Why did you say "yes" to me?" "There was something in your voice on the phone that day." "Desperation?" "I think it was hope." "Get a move on, you lovebirds." "I'm getting married in the morning." "Aw, hello, Bambi." "Darling, please don't do that." "Oh, wow." "Thas a big bed." "You know what pisses me off?" "I've been spilling my guts all weekend and I don't know anyhing about you." "I'm allergic to fabric softener... and I majored in Comparative Literature at Brown." "I hate anchovies... and I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." "I'm a little concerned that these might be... it just makes me nervous." "You know, I might just call you... but if I did I would lose because my hand is complete shite." "Aw." "I'm in." "Oh, come on." "There's got to be something wrong with him." "I bet his thingy bends, doesn't it?" "Is got a kink in it." "Oh, no, don't tell me." "Is bloody perfect." "I'm going to see you." "And looky-look here." "A full house." "Oh!" "Ooh." "Ooh." "Um." "Um." "Has anyone seen my, my future wife?" "She's going to kill me if I don't serve her first." "Have you guys ever had a real, honest-to-God fight, ever?" "Yes." "Of course." "Yeah... right." "Well, apparently make-up sex is the best kind." "Not that I'm ever going to find out." " Thas right, because I'm going to..." " No, get off!" "Give it to me." "No." "Get off." "Leave it alone." "Give me your weenie." " Come on." " No." "No." "Come On." "Don't try to make me fall." "No." "Give me some pork, baby." "You seem to have a way with women." "Why don't you go and rustle up the bride?" "Get her to join the party." "Why are you bringing this up now?" "I love Ed." "What do you want from me?" "I want you to tell me..." "Uh..." "Blue shirt or white shirt for the, uh... rehearsal dinner?" "Sorry to interrupt." "Your dad sent me." "What for?" "To make sure you're okay." "Kat, could I have a word?" "Lt... it will only take a moment." "Well, let me think." "You stole seven years of her life with your bullshit and your charm, and now you'd like just a moment?" "Sure." "Go right ahead." "Thanks for the solidarity, Mom, but next time, a little less information." "Do you believe a place has a memory?" "Even before Ed and I started dating we all used to come up here in the summer and spend weekends." "God, I hope it doesn't remember everything." "No matter how certain one is of one's position of what one should or shouldn't do, one sometimes, uh discovers that one is not as one would have hoped one would have been." "What exactly are you trying to say?" "Well, I..." "I m sorry." "Look, I feel like I need to tell you something." "Um..." "You're not even listening to me." "I'm sorry." "I'll..." "I'll be back in just a minute." "Hey, is everything okay?" "Yeah..." "Yeah." "Anchovy, Nick?" "I remember the day I met Kat." "It was in New York." "I'd been seeing Bunny for a few months, and she finally trusted me enough to meet her kid." "So," "I'm over at her place and in walks this little monster..." "That was it." "I was a goner." "That was the day I became a dad." "You know, Nick... you think is going to get easier as they get older..." "That you're going to... worry about them less... or that you're going to trust the world more... but thas just not how it happens." "This may not make much sense to you, Sir... but I'd like to ask your permission to date your daughter." "I thought you already were." "Oh!" "Because she's such a perfectionist." "Oh, Amy." "Oh, gosh." "Okay." "I..." "I blame..." "I blame Tony Pee-Pants!" " Mom, no!" " Yes!" "Oh, les have the story." "No, Kat." "Come on." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mom." "Yes." "No, no, no." "I have to initiate Nick into our family." "I blame Tony for why my two girls just don't seem to be able to get along." "Don't deny it." "You barely tolerate each other." "Come on." "Is true." "The only thing you've got in common is that you're both secretly attracted to me." "Cheers." "It started right after we moved here." "My two girls got into a fight over Tony Pee-Pants and they have never made up ever since." "Apparently Kat and I were inseparable." "If Kat ate a banana Amy threw it up." "If Amy threw it up, Kat ate it." "Oh, disgusting." "So we were eating and throwing up together in harmony until Tony walked me home from school one day." "He was my first boyfriend." "Tony started ignoring Kat because he wanted to play with me." "Anyway, the point of the story is that Tony ended up with a chair in his face." "It was plastic... and... and child-sized." "But as I recall, there were stitches involved." "Oh, come on, Bunny." "There were 15 stitches to be precise." "So is that when he peed in his pants?" "Hmm." "Well, he cried a lot, but, no, there was no peeing." "So whas with the nickname?" "I have absolutely no idea." "I'm going to get some more wine." "Would you marry me, if I asked you?" "That was a yes." "Did you see that?" "That was a yes." "And, I, you know, I thought perhaps you... uh... bollocks." "I'm sorry." "I had no idea this would be so difficult." "I just..." "I feel like I owe you an explanation." "Hey." "Hey." "Relax." "Relax." "Is fine." "I promise." "And I should probably admit that, um..." "I brought Nick with me to torture you... slowly... for the entire weekend." "But then, uh, I don't know." "Something happened, and now and I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, but, uh, I'm..." "I'm just sick of you and me of our whole story." "So, come on." "Les just go upstairs and eat some tiramisu." "I slept with your sister." "I'm sorry?" "Well, I shagged Amy." "Two years ago." "Thas why I broke it off with you." "And then after you left, it..." "Sod it." "We, uh, kept at it like rabbits until well, we both realized it was absolutely mad and, you know, and obviously, morally wrong." "And then that was it." "But, um... last Christmas... when Ed proposed," "I realized that..." "I'm in love with her." "Good Lord." "Say something please" "Oh, my God." "He's told you." "Hasn't he?" "You knew?" "Kat, I'm so sorry." "I'm so..." "Kat?" "Kat, please." "Kat, please don't say anyhing." "I can't believe you told her." "Whas going on?" "Nothing." "Well, it doesn't look like nothing." "Now is not a time to catch on, Ed." "Okay." "Good." "Leave me alone." "You knew and you didn't tell me." "Wait up." "I can't believe I trusted you." "Come on." "You've got to stop running." "How could you not have told me?" "What did you expect me to say?" "You let me make a fool of myself." "You lied to me, but I guess I shouldn't really be surprised, because thas what you do." "Thas who you are." "You're a liar." "You're judging me?" "Oh, thas a good one." "You're going to stand there and point a finger at me... the guy that you hired to pretend to be your boyfriend." "You're right." "You're right." "I was so desperate to make everyone believe that I was happy that I paid $6000 for a lie and at the end of the day, the only one who ended up falling for it was me." "I wish I could say it was worth it." "Go ahead, Kat." "Hate me." "You know, I think you're running out of steam on this whole Jeffrey thing, anyhow." "So, maybe now you'll be able to hold onto this long enough to ruin your next relationship." "Nick." "I'm just checking into a hotel." "Oh, don't be ridiculous." "Is late." "Take the car." "Actually, the boathouse is empty." "Look, I don't know whas going with you two, but I'm sure you will work out." "You... you... couldn't be more perfect if she'd picked you out of a catalogue." "Thanks, Ed." "Hey." "Hey." "I just..." "I wanted to say thank you for not outing me in front of Ed." "I want to tell him..." "Just not the night before our wedding." "You know with these things, timing is everything." "You're right." "You should really time it right... so that when he hears that you repeatedly screwed his best friend... he won't feel like the whole world is collapsing around him and there's no escape because you tricked him into marrying you." " Kat, I..." " Oh, don't worry." "Your wedding will be perfect." "Tomorrow I'll smile and say all the right things, and you'll deal with Ed when you're ready." "But right now, tonight," "I'm not going to pretend is okay." "And thas your first flight out?" ""Another summer day"" ""Has come and gone away"" "All right." "Thanks." ""In Paris and Rome"" ""But I want to go home"" ""Mmm"" ""Another airplane"" ""Another sunny place"" ""I'm lucky I know"" ""But I want to go home"" ""I got to go home"" ""And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life"" " I'm okay." " "Is like I just stepped outside"" " I don't believe you." " "When everything was going right"" "I'm fine." "Really." "Nothing that a bottle of Jack and a straight razor couldn't fix." "Anyway, it doesn't matter." "It is Amy's day." "Hmm?" "Hello, darling." "Get in the car, darling." "Try to brighten up, sweetie." "No, no, no." "Smile." "Hello." "I've been looking for you." "So... why did you let him go?" "Is complicated, Dad." "Ah, right." "It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway, huh?" "I remember reading a fascinating article in the New York Times Magazine once where this guy said... every woman has the exact love life she wants." "You know what?" "I agree with him, but I refuse to believe that this is what you want, Kat" "Ever since you were a little kid, you've always worried about what other people think." "Now, come on." "What do you think?" "Is he the guy for you?" "Then go and get him." "Hello, darling." "Your mother said you wanted to have a quick word." " No." "No." "No." "No." "You know I..." " No." "There's something you should know before you marry me." "What is it?" "I wanted to tell you but..." "I was afraid that you'd never forgive me and I just..." "Iove you so much." "I'm sorry." "I knew you were seeing someone else when we finally got together, but... not Jeffrey." "Does Kat know?" "Jeffrey told her last night." "Excuse me." "Ed?" "Ed?" "Calm down, Ed." "Ed!" "Ah!" "TJ!" "Ed, calm down." "Is all sorted." "She wants you." "I've..." "I've given up." "Whas the problem?" "You backstabbing weasel!" "Hey, this is not fair." "It was before you guys were even dating." "But you were engaged to her sister." "Ed calm down." "We can talk about this like civilized human beings." "I look like a total wanker, don't I?" "Yeah, kind of." "Get in the car, Ed." "He's halfway to France by now." "Whoa!" "I trust you've enjoyed your trip to England." "Yeah." "It was fantastic." "Thanks, Eddie." "You know, I felt sorry for you last night." "I was just sitting there like some smug arse thinking, "Aren't I a lucky sod?"" "You know, I forgave her when I thought it was just some random bloke... but not Jeffrey." "I've had her up on a pedestal ever since... ever since I put her up there." "What a mess I've made, huh?" "I'm so sorry." "The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back." "But if you know her shit and she knows yours and at the end of the day you still would rather give up than try... nothing's ever going to be worth it." "Maybe think about it this way you go back, you get to spend the rest of your life having really great make-up sex." "Ed?" "Must run." "Hi." "Hi." " Last night when we were fighting..." " l..." "I thought this was over." "And I was going to leave you alone and just take off," "but then I realized..." "I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else." "I should get going." "What?" "No, no, no." "No, you can't." "I have to." "I'm the best man." ""You can dance"" ""every dance with the guy that gives you the... eye"" ""and let him hold you tight"" ""You can smile every smile for the man who"" ""held your hand beneath the pale moonlight"" ""But don't forget who's taking you home..."" ""and in whose arms you're going to be"" ""So, Darling, save the last dance for me"" ""Oh, I know"" ""that the music's fine like sparkling wine"" ""Go and have your fun"" " "Laugh and sing..."" " Les do it." ""But while we're apart don't give your heart to anyone"" ""And don't forget who's taking you home"" ""And in whose arms you're going to be"" ""So Darling, save the last dance for me"" "Ed... there's no one in the world who knows how to love my baby sister better than you." "Be good to one another." "To Amy and Ed." "To Amy and Ed." ""You can dance..."" ""Go and carry on till the night is gone"" ""and is time to go"" ""If he asks if you're all alone..."" ""can he walk you home"" ""You must tell him no"" ""Cause don't forget who's taking you home"" ""and in whose arms you're going to be"" ""Save the last dance for me"" ""Oh, I know that the music's fine like sparkling wine"" ""Go and have your fun"" ""Laugh and sing"" ""But while we're apart don't give your heart to anyone"" ""And don't forget who's taking you home"" ""And in whose arms you're going to be"" ""So, Darling, save the last dance for me"" ""Save the last dance the very last dance for me""