"And so today you are full-fledged ensigns." "Three short months ago, you assembled here from all parts of the nation, and all walks of life. " " Field, factory, office, and college campuses." "Each of you knew what the fighting was about, or you wouldn't have volunteered." "Each of you knew that the American way of life must be defended, by life itself." "From here on, your education must continue... in the more demanding school of actual war." "Wearing the gold stripe of ensign in the United States Navy. " " You go down to the sea to fight in the toughest conflict of all time." "Your fellow Americans share my confidence that... you will serve the Navy and the Country with honor and distinction." "Good luck and good hunting." "Mother:" "Willie, over here!" " Darling, I'm so proud of you." " Thanks, Mother." " Congratulations, Willie." " Thanks, Uncle Loyd." "Your mother promised to let me know if the Navy... doesn't makes full use of your abilities." "With the proper approach, perhaps I could help you be placed somewhere else." " Good luck for now, in the meantime." " Thank you." "Mother, I'm afraid I'm going to have to skip your party tonight." "Some of the fellas are having a little celebration." "But darling, the party's in your honor." "Besides, we have so few days left together." "Your friends will forgive you, I'm sure." "You can call them from the house." "[ Mouthing ] "I'll see you at ten."" "[ Playing: "I Can't Believe That You're In Love With Me" by Billie Holiday ]" "" Your eyes so blue "" "" Your kisses too "" "" I never knew what they could do "" "" I can't believe that you're in love with me "" "" You're telling everyone I know "" "" I'm on your mind each place you go "" "" They can't believe that you're in love with me "" "" I have always placed you far above me "" "" I just can't image that you love me "" "" And after all is said and done "" "" To think that I'm the lucky one "" "" I can't believe that you're in love with me "" "May..." "Darling, you were wonderful." "Thanks." "I'm surprised your mother let you out." "I had to be with her." "I should have told you yesterday I couldn't make it here tonight." "I'm sorry." " Order me a drink, then we'll fight." " Leo, two Scotch and waters, please." "Darling, let's not spoil the night." "I've only got a couple of days left." " I'm leaving Sunday." " How do you expect me to feel?" "Leaving me standing there all alone." "Willie, why didn't you introduce me to your mother?" "I wanted you to met her." "But, there's a time for everything." "I'm sure." "To the most important woman in your life..." "Mom." " May, stop it." " I'm sorry, Willie." "I didn't mean to ruin your big evening." "I guess, I just bruise easily." "Alright, what do we do to celebrate?" "We can go to the Fairmont, Top of the Mark, anything you say..." "Or we don't have to go to a club." " Meaning what?" " Look darling, I've only got 48 hours." " Willie, don't." " May, I love you." "All right." "Will you marry me?" "Look darling, if there were more time..." "I didn't expect you to." "I guess I forgot who I was." "Just another nightclub singer for a big weekend." "I don't want any more of it." "Not another minute." " Good luck, Mr. Keith." " Thanks, George." "Goodbye, Mother." "Drop a cable the minute you get to Pearl Harbor." "If I can." "I'm terribly worried." "Uncle Loyd tells me... that ship you've been assigned too has been in lots of battles." "Mother, don't worry." " Do you have enough spending money?" " More than enough." "You'd better take this extra $100, dear." "Mother, please don't cry." "I can't help it." "You're all I have left." "Willie, promise me you'll be careful." "Don't volunteer or do anything foolish." "Mother, I won't." "I won't." "I promise." "Goodbye, sweetheart." " Request permission to come on board." " Permission granted." " Request permission to come on board." " Permission granted." "Sir." "the Caine's a real beauty." "The Caine is the inboard ship." "Crossing over." " Very well." " This way, Keith." "This way, Keith." "Hey!" "Watch that enthusiasm." "Nobody ever felt that way about the Caine before." "I'm sorry, sir." "I lost my footing." "Keith, this is our communications officer Lt. Keefer." " How do you do, sir." " How about logging him in, Tom" "Your orders, Keith." "Those monstrous papers that transform ex-civilians into men without minds." " I hate to be the one that does this to you." " Gangway, lady with a baby!" "Meatball, Horrible, pick up Mr. Keith's gear in the well boat." "Aye, aye, sir." "Oh Keith, this is our executive officer, Steve Maryk." " Glad to have you on board, Keith." " Thank you, sir." "Steve's our fireball, the guy who gets things done." " There's one on every ship." " Very funny." "Come on Keith, let's meet the captain." " Watch your feet, sir!" " Come on, Keith!" "They're making a mistake scraping this ship." "The only thing that's keeping the water out is the rust." "What do you want?" "He's here, sir." "OK, bring him in." "In here, Keith." "Captain DeVriess, this is Ensign Keith." "Keith!" "May I see your orders and qualifications jacket, or are they a military secret?" "I'm sorry, sir." "Princeton, '41..." "Top five percent in midshipman's school..." "Pretty good background, pretty good record." "Disappointed they assigned you to a minesweeper, Keith?" "Well, sir... to be honest." "Yes, sir." "You saw yourself on a carrier, or a battleship, no doubt?" "Yes sir, I had hoped that..." "Well, I only hope that you're good enough for the Caine." "I'll try to be worthy of this assignment, sir." "She's not a battleship or a carrier, the Caine is a beaten-up tub." "After 18 months of combat, it takes 24 hrs a day just to keep her in one piece." "I understand, sir." "I don't think you do." "But whether you like it or not, Keith, you're in the junkyard navy." "Steve, put in with Keefer in Communications." "And tell Tom when he's free, to show this Princeton Tiger and our other new ensign around the ship." "Yes, sir." "And Keith..." "Don't take it so hard." "War is hell." " Ensign Keith, Ensign Harding." " My condolences." " Thanks." "Alright, my Junior League\citizens..." "Let's get with it." "The USS Caine is a minesweeper." "These paravanes used for minesweeping." "They carry sweep wires off both sides of the ship." "The wire contacts the mooring cable of a mine and saws it in two." "We've been in combat a year and a half, and during that time ... we've never been asked to swept one single mine." "So, the first thing you've got to learn about this ship is that ... she was designed by geniuses to be run by idiots." "This is the engine room." "To operate, all you need is any group of well trained monkeys." "99 percent of what we do is strict routine, only one percent requires creative intelligence." "That about does it." "Any more questions?" "Yes, sir." "Where do we go to surrender?" "It's not that easy." " Sir, you don't like the Navy, do you?" " Who called the Caine "the Navy"?" "Well gentlemen, just one more thing to do." "Climb the mast." "What for?" "A mast is a mast." "When the Captain orders a tour, he means from the keel to the foretop." "That's the foretop." "I have a wife and a kid, I'm very fond of them." "I'll probably never see them again." "Well done!" " I'm glad he liked it." " Yeah." "Keith, I regret to tell you, I'm gonna be sick." "I'm sorry." "Height bothers me." "Those poor sailors down there." "I could use my hat, but it's the only one I've got." "I have two others." " That's darn cordial of you." " Perfectly, welcome." "Hey, what's keeping you guys up there?" "Lunch!" "Lunch!" "?" "Oh!" " Excuse me, sir." " It's all right." "Tell me Keith, now that you've had a chance to study the Caine... more closely, do you like her better?" " The tour was very interesting, sir." " Is the ship too messy for you?" " That is a difficult question, sir." " It's a ridicules question." "The question is, "Is this mess a ship?"" "Very decent of you to join us for lunch, Tom." "I didn't think you could spare the time." "Well, my novel will suffer, but even the greatest of literary artists gets hungry." "Pull up a chair, Tom, and cast some pearls before the swine." " Or whatever it is you say you do." " I will." "Somebody has to protect these fresh eager young faces from the captain's badgering." "I'm not badgering anyone, Tom." "I'm just conducting a one-man board of inquiry." "I'm trying to find out if Ensign Keith wants to stay on board." "There is no escape from the Caine, save death." "We are all doing penance." "Sentenced to an outcast ship, manned by outcasts, and named after the greatest outcast of them all." " Here we go again." " I'm merely stating absolute fact." "He's right, Steve..." "I've been sweating out myself, waiting for two years to be... relieved of command, and there is no sign of it yet." "But then..." "I don't have Ensign Keith's influence." "Sir, I don't understand." "I received this dispatch from Admiral Wards about an hour ago." ""With your approval, I will request transfer to my staff for Ensign Willis Steward Keith."" ""Understand of course needs of USS Caine have priority."" " Sir, I didn't know anything about this request." " Could be coincidence." "Or someone pulling strings." "What'll it be, Keith?" "The admiral's staff or as Tom puts it:" ""the hell of the Caine"?" "Well, I don't know, sir." "It's a simple choice." "Do you want to fight a war?" "Captain, this is hardly a place for a decision." "Oh nonsense, Steve." "A good officer should be able to make up his mind anywhere." " Well, come on, Keith." "We haven't got all day." " Well, sir..." " I'll stay on board, sir." " That takes care of that." "Ah Willie, you will live to regret this day." "Sir, I spotted a lot of Japanese aircraft off the starboard bow." "Position, Angle 20." "Angle 20." "You see them, Captain?" "If the war last ten years Keith, you may learn to tell the difference between aircraft and seagulls." ""Man all stations for minesweeping drill." "Man all stations for minesweeping drill."" "Launch sweep gear." ""Launch sweep gear."" "Port paravanes in the water." ""Steve, that was the lousiest performance I've ever seen." ""Tell the men to get the lead out."" "Stand by to stream starboard side." "Retrieve sweep gear." ""Retrieve sweep gear."" ""C'mon Steve, snap it up." "The Jones is beating us in."" "Look out!" "Stop the engines." "Get me a line." "You're not going to swim for it, the water's full of sharks." " Stand by the line." " Yes, sir." "Mr. Keith, this action dispatch just arrived." "Mr. Keefer said you had the code duty." "I'll take care of it right away." "OK!" "Haul away!" "Lead the line outboard of everything." "Report "float recovered."" "The Jones never saw the day they could beat us." "You pooped out, Steve!" "We streamed three minutes quicker at Guadalcanal." "You must love that guy to do what you did for him." "Go dry yourself, Keith." " Is that you, Willie?" " Yeah." "Hey Willie, didn't you say you went to Princeton?" "I didn't say." "Well, maybe one of these days I'll let you read a couple of chapters of my novel." " A Princeton man's opinion might be valuable." " Thanks." " Horrible!" " Yes, sir?" "Pick up those orange peels." "This isn't a hunting barge." "Yes, sir" "[Meatball laughs]" "Alright Meatball, laugh once more and you're in trouble." "[Bosun's whistle sounds off]" "Over intercom: "Ensign Keith, report to the Captain's cabin." ""On the double, on the double!"" "Oh these 90-day wonders..." "Everyone one of them thinks they're five-star admiral." "Yeah." "[Knocks on door]" " Come in." " Yes, sir?" "Keiths, three days ago, this ship received a dispatch addressed to us for action." " Smitty here, says he gave it to you." "Is that correct?" "Yes, sir." "I forgot about it." "It's still in the pocket of my dirty khaki." " Did you decode the message?" " No, sir." "It's incredible stupidity and carelessness on my part..." "Fortunately, I had the job done for you." " That'll be all, Smitty." " Yes, sir." "Keith..." "Have you any idea how serious misplacing an action dispatch can be?" "Yes, sir." "I don't think you have." "Because of you, this ship might have failed to carry out a combat assignment." "I hope you realize that for such a failure," "I would bear the full responsibility in a court martial." "I understand, sir." "I've been filling out officer's fitness reports this morning, Keith." " How you think this ought to affect yours?" " Anyone can make a mistake, sir." "There are mistakes and mistakes." "The margin for error is narrow in the Navy, Keith." "There's too much loss of life and property damage possible in every act." "Here." "Read it." ""Ensign Keith seems a fairly bright young man."" ""He may become a competent officer once he overcomes the light and careless approach to his duties."" " Do you consider that fair?" " Sir, if I may be permitted..." "Go ahead, Keith." "I made a mistake, but I don't see why I should be singled out for it." "Everyones goofed off around here." "The Caine's a slack ship." "The men act like a pack of cut throats, and the decks look like a Singapore junk." "I take it than, you must also strongly disapprove of me." " Go ahead Keith, man to man." " Sir, I'm in no position to approve or disapprove." "I only know my conception of a captain seems different from your own." "I'll take it under advisement." "Since you feel so bitter. " " Perhaps what's in the dispatch will brighten your day." "As you can see Keith, I'm being relieved of command." "Next week, this time, you'll have yourself a new captain." "Lieutenant Commander Philip Francis Queeg." "Feel better?" " Definitely, sir." " Good." "That'll be all, Keith." ""In accordance with Bureau of Naval Personnel. " ""Order 016021 of November 1943." ""You'll report to the commanding officer of the USS Caine..." ""for duty on board and relief of his command." ""Signed, Louis Whitfield, Rear Admiral, USN, Chief of Bureau."" "I relieve you, sir." "All standing orders to remain in force until further notice." "Dismiss the men to quarters." " Good luck, Captain." " Thank you." "Crew dismissed." "Oh... ah Captain, if you would like me too," "I'll stay aboard for a couple of days till you get used to the feel of things." "No thanks." "There's no need for that." "We all have our own ways of running a ship." "Sure." "This one's tired." "She's had the guts run out of her." "She ought to be melted down for razor blades." "The crew may not look like much, they're tired, too." "Every man is okay." " I understand." " I hope you do." "Yours, Captain." "Attention on deck." " Request permission to leave to leave the ship." " Permission, granted, sir." "Captain, sir?" " What is it, Meatball?" " Nothing, sir." "Well, a few of the guys chipped in and..." "Whose idea was this?" "Well, I won't accept it." "It's against Navy regulations." " Well, that's what I told them, sir" " You don't always go by regulations, Captain." "That's my trouble." "I've been aboard the Caine too long." "Now you men take an even strain with the new skipper, and everything will be all right." " I'm leaving the ship, sir." " Yes, sir." "[ Bosun's whistle blows "Away Galley" ]" "What do you know?" "Somebody left his watch lying around." "I might as well have a souvenir of this old bucket." "Not a bad-looking watch at that." " What time is it, Mr. Keith?" " 11:00, sir." "Make it 10:30." "I'll always keep it a half hour slow " " To remind me of the fouled-up crew of the Caine." "Carry on." "What's everybody so choked up for?" "No matter what everyone says, Willie, I still think that someday you'll make an officer." "Captain Queeg requests a meeting of all officers at in the wardroom 13:00." "Well gentlemen, we'll gonna be shipmates for a long time." "I though we ought to get acquainted." "I've formed some pretty good impressions." "You're probably curious about me." "Well, my background is simple enough." "Just another naval officer." "I've had seven tough years in the Atlantic." "Believe-you-me, they made the last two mighty interesting." "The way those subs ganged up on us, I thought they had it in for me personally." "Now, to get down to cases." "Anyone who knows me, will tell you I'm a book man." "I believe everything in it was put in for a purpose." "When in doubt, remember on board this ship, we do things by the book." "Deviate from the book, and you've better have a half a dozen good reasons, and you'll still will get an argument from me." "And I don't lose arguments on board my ship." "That's one of the nice things about being captain." "Now I want you to remember one thing, on board my ship excellent performance is standard. - standard performance is sub-standard, and sub-standard performance is not permitted to exist." "That, I warn you." "OK?" "Now that I've shot my face off," "I'll give anyone who wants too, the chance to do the same thing." "Captain, I don't want to seem out of line, but it's been a long time since this crew did things by the book." "Mr. Maryk, you may tell the crew for me... there are four ways of doing things on board my ship:" "The right way, the wrong way, the Navy way, and my way." " They do things my way, and we'll get along." " Aye, aye, sir." "Okay?" "Anyone else?" "[Knock on door]" "Come in." "Beg pardon, Captain." "Sorry to interrupt." "Official message from ComServ Pac." "Thank you." "One moment, messenger." "What's your name and rate?" "Urban, sir." "Seaman First, Signalman Striker." " Very well." "You may go." " Yes, sir." "Gentlemen, did anyone notice anything peculiar... about Seaman First Class Urban?" "A shirt-tail hanging outside trousers is the regulation uniform," "I believe, for bus boys... not however, for a sailor in the US Navy." "These are the things we are going to start noticing again." " Maryk, who's the Morale Officer?" " There is no Moral Officer, sir." " Who's the Junior Ensign?" " Keith, sir." "Mr. Keith?" "Sir?" "You are now the Morale Officer." "In addition to your other duties, you will now see to it that every man keeps his shirt-tail tucked inside his trousers." "Aye aye, sir." "OK..." "If I see another shirt-tail flapping while I'm Captain of this ship..." "Woe betide the sailor, woe betide the OOD, and woe betide the Morale Officer." "I kid you not." "Now... according to this dispatch, we are to proceed to Area X-ray... at 08:00 tomorrow to tow targets." "I'm going to give it to you simply." "The Caine is going to be the best target-towing ship in this man's navy." "That'll be all, gentlemen." "Mr. Keith, I want all the men to have their hair cut to regulation length, and their faces clean shaven by 24:00." "Aye, aye, sir." "Well, he's certainly Navy." "Yeah, so was Captain Bligh." "Intercom: "Attention all hands." "Attention all hands." "" Ships will commence firing at target at 10:00." "" All Observers lay out to the fantail. "" "Flash." "Short. 200." "Over." "100. 250." "Hit." "Over." "100. 250." "Short. 100." "Over. 150. 200." "Intercom: " Ensign Keith, report to the bridge, on the double." "On the double. "" "Yes, sir!" "Keith, do you have any explanation for the appearance of this sailor?" " Corporal, you heard my order on shirt-tails." " Sir, I've got a heat rash..." "Well, tuck your shirt in, now." "Sir, the captain won't let me." "Of course not." "I want you to see the rotten job you're doing, Mr..." " Gwendolyn, Gwendolyn, this is Tarzan." " Tarzan, this is Gwendolyn." "Cease present exercises and return to base." "Well done." "Out." "Roger." "Thank you, sir." "We're heading back." "Right standard rudder." "And now, Mr. Keith..." "First of all, do you or don't you have an explanation for this?" "Sir, I was on the fantail" "I didn't ask for an alibi." "Evidently, my orders must mean very little to you." "Sir, I'm completely at fault, but I tried my best." "Your "best", Mr. Keith, is only a maximum of inefficiency." "Hey, what's the matter with the old man?" "We're steaming in a circle." "Yeah, I know." " Captain..." " Will you not interrupt while I'm speaking?" "Captain, we're going around in cir..." "One more word out of you, and you're on report." "Aye, aye, sir." "And you, Mr. Keefer, can you explain why the first violation... occurred while you were officer of the deck?" "There are limits to what a man can do when he has the deck." "Mr. Keefer, the officer of the deck is as equally as responsible his duties... as I am for the welfare of this ship." "And one thing more, mister." "War is a 24-hour job." "There will be no more "novel-writing" on the Caine." "Mr. Keith, Mr. Keefer, you will both submit written reports explaining:" "A. Why this man had his shirt-tail out." "B. Why you failed so miserably to carry my orders out." "Keefer:" "Aye, aye, sir." "Meatball, look!" "I'm I seeing straight or are we cutting back across our tow?" "It's impossible." "But it's happened!" "We're gonna cut our own tow line." "You'd better tell him again." "Not, me." "[Loud screeching sound]" "What's happening?" "What's going on?" "[Loud snapping sound]" "What's our target doing out there?" "What blazes were you two doing?" "Sir, you told me to keep right standard rudder." "I was just..." "You idiot." "All engines stop." "Captain, we've steamed over our tow line." "Who said we steamed over the tow line?" "Who said that?" "We've cut the target adrift." "We did nothing of the kind." "Something must have been wrong with the cable." "We can hardly be held responsible if we're given faulty cable... that breaks the minute the ship turns a few degrees." "Sir, should we recover the target?" "It shouldn't take more than half an hour." "Half an hour?" "That means we'll be the last ship back in Pearl Harbor." "No thank you." "We're not going to have to answer a lot of questions... about something that's not our fault." " Reel in the cable." " Aye, aye, sir." "Mr. Keefer, send the following dispatch." "ComServ Pac:" ""Defective tow line parted, south-west corner, x-ray."" ""Target adrift." "Menace to navigation."" ""Suggest tug, recover or destroy."" "He'll never get away with it." "Now, let's head for the barn." "Aye, aye, sir." "All engines ahead full." "All engines ahead full, sir." "Queeg:" "Willie?" " Sir?" "You look worried?" "I know a man's shirt is a petty detail, but big things are made up of details." "Don't forget..." "For want of a nail, a horseshoe was lost, and then the whole battle." "A captain's job is a lonely one." "He's easily misunderstood." "Forget that I bawled you out." "It was good for the morale of all concerned." "OK?" "Yes, sir." "Keefer:" "Hallelujah!" "Look what just came in." "We're going back to San Francisco." "San Francisco?" "You're kidding." "All thanks to our beloved Captain Queeg." "He's in plenty of hot water." "I told you the Navy would never accept his double talk about the towing line." "They can't be sending us all the way back just for that?" "Listen to this: "Upon arrival, Commanding Officer USS Caine..." ""report immediately Commander Western Sea Frontier."" "I tell you Willie, he's in serious trouble." "Our Captain is about to be boiled in oil." "And you, you lucky fellow, are about to see your girl." "Willie!" " Willie, darling." " Mother." "This is a real surprise." "Well, you didn't expect me not to be here, did you?" "Oh, it's wonderful to have my boy close again." "Mother..." "I'd like you to meet a friend of mine." "May Wynn." "I'm always delighted to meet one of Willie's friends." "Thank you." "Hello, Oh!" "Hello, May?" "Sure!" "I'll be right down then." "Okay." "Well, I guess I'm ready to go, mother." "I'm afraid I'm going to miss you all." "It's just a weekend at Yosemite." " A sailor needs some play time." " Miss Wynn's going with you?" "Yes, she is." " You must feel strongly about her." " I do, mother." "I like her a lot." " You have a nice weekend yourself." " Are you in love with her, Willie?" "I don't know." "But I sure missed her every minute I was away." "Well, she is attractive, but you don't know anything about her." "You haven't even met her parents." "That's right." "I guess I'll have to do that someday." "Wille, for your own sake, all I want you to do is... well, promise you won't do anything rash." " I promise." " You mean it, Willie?" "Sure, I mean it." "Goodbye, Mom." "Easy, May." "That's good." "Well, how did you like it?" "It's like breaking in a new song." "Fun but scary." "You know, it was nice of your mother to let you come to Yosemite like this." " It wasn't up to my mother." " Well..." " It looks like the war has made a difference." " Has it?" "I missed you more than I planned to." "Announcer:" ""Let the fire fall!"" " May:" "This is paradise." " Willie:" "Isn't it." " Willie, there are people." " Let them look." "You have changed." "Sometimes I think there's almost a chance for us." " Willie, it's getting late." " It's getting very late." "I'll wait, thanks." "Good morning, darling." "Sorry I'm late." "I guess I'm not used to being without an alarm clock." " What a day." "Have you ordered yet?" " Not yet." " Just some orange juice and coffee, please." " Make it two." "Do you know what I would like to do?" "I'd love to take a long walk." "Climb to the top of that mountain over there." " Darling, what's the matter?" " Just thinking." "Well, come on now, somethings the matter." "I expected you to be happy..." "May, what would you think about spending the rest of your life with a monster like me?" " What's this?" " I'm talking about our getting married." "Is that what you really want?" "Of course I want it." "Don't look at me as if I'm a crazy." "I don't want you to marrying me because you feel sorry for me." "Because you think it's the decent thing to do." "Look, May..." "I love you and I want to marry you." "Yes or no?" "No." "Why not?" "Because your mother won't approve." "I think that's whats bothering you." "Of course she'll approve." "She won't approve, but you'll marry me anyway and you'll be so unhappy." "I won't be unhappy." "I love you." "Maybe you do..." "really do." "But marriage has to be by your own approval." "No one else's." "That's asking a lot, May." "That's right." "Have a good cry, Willie." "I know I will." "Well brother, in another 30 seconds you'd have been AWOL." "I just got the telegram." "And you just couldn't tear yourself away from your girl?" "Yeah." "Any news on Queeg?" "Queeg: "Tangle up all lines and stand by to cast off." ""Hope you haven't been inconvenienced any, Mr. Keith. "" "Looks like you made a slight mistake, Tom." "He's still here." "My mistake was nothing compared to the Navy's." "Take in the bow." "Well gentlemen, as you probably know by now, we returned to San Francisco for a new radar installation." "However, certain misleading reports on things that happened at Pearl Harbor... were sent to the Force Commander." "This created doubts in his mind about the Caine's competence... to be returned to combat." "I made it clear to him that I inherited a ship in a low state of training... and I could hardly be expected to pull it into shape overnight, he agreed." "So from now on, gentlemen, there will not be further mistakes... on the part of the officers and crew of this ship." "[Coughing] Sorry sir, some smoke went down the wrong way." "This, is an important command." "The Navy's is probably waiting for me to make a butch," "Well I'm not going to make it and I'm not going to permit anybody to make it for me." "So much for old business." "Gentlemen, I've have good news for you." "We're on our way to the greatest invasion attempted in this war." "I kid you not." "The greatest." "So let's all straighten up and fly right." "All hands, put on battle dress." "[ Blowing: "General Call" ]" ""All hands, put on battle dress and anti-flash cream."" "We don't have to shot the Japs." "We can scare them to death." "Cease fire, cease fire." "Keith: "Cease fire, cease fire."" "Close the boat group and take stations." "Mr. Keith, you take the com." "Aye, aye, sir." "That's the group we're suppose to take in." "Jacob Group Four." "Correct course, 045." ""045", aye, aye." "All engines, ahead full." ""All engines, ahead full."" "We're closing too fast." "We're gonna run those boats down." "Where's the captain?" "He's on the wing." "On the wing?" "How can he left you handle the ship at a time like this?" "All engines stop." " "All engines stop."" "Boats ahoy!" "Boats ahoy!" "What's going on?" "Who's yelling at whom, here?" "Sorry, sir." "It looked like we were overshooting these boys, so I stopped." "Well, let's get it over with." "What's the distance to the beach?" "About three miles, sir." "We're suppose to take..." "I just want to know the yardage, OK?" "Steve, you take the com, get us there." "Full speed ahead." "We will proceed." "Follow us." "Good luck." "OK, thanks." "Left tangent: 006." " Beacon: 084." " Distance: 5,000." "We're pulling too far ahead of the attack group." "All engines back one third." "Left tangent: 350." " Beacon: 116." " Distance: 4,000." "Why are we slowing down?" "Sir, we we're losing them." "If they can't keep up with us, throw over a dye marker when we reach the spot." "Hey, we're getting too close." "You want to run us on the beach?" "Sir, we still have at least 1,500 yards to go with the boats." "1,500 yards?" "You're crazy." "I can read instruments as well as anybody on this ship." "We're within 1,000 yards of the beach right now." "This is as far as we're suppose to take them." " Left full rudder." " "Left full rudder."" " All engines ahead full." " "All engines ahead full."" " Throw over a dye marker." " But, Captain..." "You heard me, throw over a dye marker." "Fantail from the bridge, throw over a dye marker." "Sir, we can't leave those marines..." "Mr. Maryk, I'm taking the com, I'm relieving you." "Aye, aye, sir." " What's he doing?" "Running away?" " Don't look for trouble, Tom." "Well..." "What do you think of your boy now?" "I don't know." " There must be a reason for what he did." " Yeah." "There's a reason, all right." ""I've got those yellow stain blues those silly yellow stain blues" ""when someone fires a shot it's always there I am not" ""I've got those yellow stain blues the old yellow stain blues" ""those yellow stain blues. "" " We'd better pipe down." " Don't be so worried, Willie." "You know, it's about time you got over being impressed by people in authority like parents and ship captains." " Thanks, Dad." " You're welcome." "Shhh..." "more, more." ""I've got those yellow stain blues down from my head to my shoes" ""you should see strong men quail if he should spy a shirt-tail..."" " OK Buddy, cut it." " Oh Steve, I thought you'd be amused." "This is magnificent saga of a man who's lack of charm... is only exceeded by his lack of intestinal fortitude." "It's not funny Tom, and you ought to know better." "Find somebody else to sing about." "That's an order." "Why, "Old Yellowstain" ought to be flattered." "I don't want to hear the name "Old Yellowstain" again." "Yes, sir." "The captain wants a meeting in the wardroom, immediately." "And he kids us not." "Now, don't get up gentlemen, please." "I'm not too feeling well." "What I have to say won't take long." "That'll be all, steward." "I know that some of you are perhaps a little afraid of me." "I'm not that terrible." "I have a wife and a child and a dog." "They're rather fond of me." "Even the dog doesn't think I'm a monster." "Perhaps certain things happened today." "Well, as I always say, a command is a lonely job." "It isn't easy to make decisions." "Sometimes the captain of a ship needs help... by help I mean..." "constructive loyalty." "What I'm trying to say is, a ship is like a family." "We all have our ideas of right and wrong. " " But we have to pitch in for the good of the family." "If there was only some way we could help each other." "I, ah..." "If there is anything, any of you would like to say, I.." "I mean, I'll be glad to listen." "Well, I've spoken my piece." "I only hope it registers." "Don't get up, please." "Painter, have the pharmacist mate send up some more aspirin." "My headache's much worse." "Yes, sir." "This is what is known in literature as the "pregnant pause."" "Well, there's only one thing left to do, write to Walter Winchell." " He almost made me feel sorry for him." " Don't be so sentimental, Willie." "I thought it was a pretty good speech." "It wasn't exactly an apology, but it was as close as he could get to one." "We could have backed him up." "What could we have said?" "He turned yellow the first time we got into action." "Look Princeton, you know from nothing about DeVriess... and you know even less about Queeg." "He's a tired man ." "His nerves are shot." "It's happened before that a man loses his head after what Queeg has gone through." "That's an endearing explanation, but it won't hold." "Has the thought ever occurred to you that our captain might be unbalanced?" "I'm no psychiatrist, but I know something about abnormal behavior." "Captain Queeg has every symptom of acute paranoia." "It's just a question of time before he goes over the line." " Step outside, Keith." " I'd like to stay, sir." " Let him." "He studied psychology at college." " You're fooling with dynamite, Tom." "Will you look at the man?" "He's a Freudian delight." "He crawls with clues." "His fixation on the little rolling balls." "The chattering in second-hand phrases and slogans." "His inability to look you in the eye." "The constant migraine headaches..." "Shirt-tails, and tonight's pathetic speech:" ""Forget about my turning yellow, my dog likes me."" " I think Tom does make sense." " You stay out of it." "Alright... so he has migraine headaches and he rolls steel balls." "And he does a lot of other screwy things, so what?" "You used to get up before reveille, and fill a lot of paper with scribbling." "Everybody's a screwball in some way." "That doesn't make them crazy." "You're kidding yourself, Steve." "Alright, will you go over to the fleet medical officer with me, and repeat everything you've told me?" "Do you agree with my diagnosis of Queeg?" "Not with a word of it, even if I understood what you were talking about." "Well then, why should you expect me to take the whole thing on my shoulders?" "You are his executive officer, if you don't see it, I wouldn't stand a chance." "OK then, we drop it right now." "There'll be no more talk about the captain being crazy." "It's like running around explosives with a blow torch." "I still insist he's a paranoia case" "See this bible?" "I swear to you on this," "I'll report to the captain anything further you say along those lines." "There's no more friendship on this point." "That's the straight dope." ""Medical log on Lieutenant Commander X-ray." ""This log is being started because the possibility appears to exist " ""- that the commander of this ship may be mentally disturbed."" ""March 5, 1944." "This evening, as usual,  we were showing a Hopalong Cassidy movie on the foresail ... "" "Stop the picture!" "Will you please stop this picture!" "Attention on deck!" "May I ask, why I wasn't notified that this movie was being shown?" "Sir, last week you told me you couldn't look at another Western." "So I just assumed..." "You assumed!" "This was calculated disrespect to your commanding officer." "All right." "There will be no more movies for 30 days." ""May 28, 1944." "Morale couldn't be lower." "The crew is resentful." ""The officers are just going through the motions of carrying out orders." ""This afternoon, the captain decided to hold a general drill..." ""for the instruction and safety of the crew..."" "This is the captain speaking." "A great many men have ignored my orders about wearing battle gear." "So there is only one way to drive the point home." "Every man not wearing a helmet or lifejacket will be docked 3 days liberty." "I see you!" "Now I want that knocked that off!" "Stop putting on that gear!" " Mr. Keith." " Sir?" "Put that man down there without a lifejacket on report." "Which one, sir?" "That one down there, on number one machine gun!" "You people think you're very clever." "Well, you're not fooling me!" "Get that red-headed fellow over there." "That one there!" "Sir, it's impossible to tell which one's red-headed." " They're all wearing their helmets." " Keith, you're an idiot!" "This is the captain speaking." "Some misguided sailors on this ship still think they can pull a fast one on me." "Well, they're very much mistaken." "Since you've taken this course, the innocent will be punished with the guilty." "There will be no liberty for any member of this crew, for three months." "I will not be made a fool of." "Do you hear me?" ""July 30, 1944." "Today we received a gift from officers of the USS Pinkney." ""A gallon of frozen strawberries." ""I was checking the watch at 1:00 in the morning when I spoke to Ensign Keith..."" "How's it going?" "Situation quiet, the captain's been put away for the night." "Lay off." "Steve, you know that I was with you, and against Tom at the beginning." "But I don't see how the Caine can go on like this much longer." "No ship can." "You haven't the experience to know, one way or the other." " I'm not blind." "I've watched the men." " All right, all right." "The captain's in rocky shape, but he'll come out of it." "He's got too." "Mr. Maryk, Mr. Keith, the captain wants a meeting of all officers right away." " Now, at 01:00 in the morning?" " Yes, sir." "Do you know what's it about?" "Yes, sir, Strawberries." "Are you sure this is a gallon can?" "Yes, sir." "It's a lard can." "Just took it from the pantry, sir." "I suppose you're wondering why I called this meeting." "As you all know by now, we had an excellent dessert for dinner tonight, ice cream and frozen strawberries." "Well, about an hour ago, I sent Whitaker to the pantry to bring me another portion." "He came back with the ice cream all right." "But he said:" ""Sir, there ain't no more strawberries."" "Now gentlemen, I do not believe that the officers of this ship consumed... a full gallon of strawberries at dinner tonight." "And I intent to prove it." "Mr. Maryk, how many portions of ice cream and strawberries did you have?" " Two, sir." " Whitaker... dole out a scoop of sand for each portion of strawberry." "Yes, sir." " Mr. Keefer, how many for you?" " Three, Captain." " Keith?" " Two, sir." " Harding?" " Two, sir." " Painter?" " Two, sir." " Comedy?" " Two, sir." " Jorgensen...?" " Two, sir." "Laughlin?" "Two, sir." "And the steward's mates had three." "Right, Whitaker?" "Yes sir, one helping each, sir." " Mr. Keith said it was okay." " Yes, I did, sir." "And I had four." "Twenty-four portions in all." "Now gentlemen, this tureen holds an amount of sand that is equal... to the amount of strawberries we had at dinner tonight." "Right, Whitaker?" "Yes, sir." "Mr. Maryk, take a look at this gallon can and tell me how much sand is left." "Maybe a quart, or a little less." "OK... have any of you gentlemen an explanation for the quart of missing strawberries?" "There can be no doubt that someone else finished them for us." "As of now gentlemen, you are all appointed to a board of investigation... to find out who's responsible for this theft." " Mr. Maryk, you are the senior member." " Do you mean in the morning, sir?" "Now Mr. Maryk, according to my watch, does not mean in the morning, it means 01:47." "I expect a full report by 08:00." "Alright, alright, pipe down." "The faster we get this done, the faster we can get some sleep." "Send in the stewards one at a time for questioning." "Yes, sir." "If only the strawberries had been poisoned, all our problems would have been solved." "Strawberries, anyone?" " Unsatisfactory." " Sorry, Captain." "We kept the mess boys and the cook most of the night." "They may be lying, but it's a dead end." "We couldn't keep covering the same ground endlessly, sir." "Gentlemen, you spent the entire night and accomplished nothing." "While I thought the whole thing out very clearly." "Did it ever occur to you that some bright boy... might have made a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox?" "Sir, there's no indication..." "There are some things we must assume, Mr. Maryk, in order to be a good officer." "Now back in '37, when I was a lowly ensign on a cruiser, five pounds of cheese was missing." "Everybody was willing to forget about it, but not me." "I snooped around and found some chow hound... had made a wax impression of the icebox key." "I made him confess and I got myself a nice letter of commendation." "This looks to me like exactly the same situation." " But sir, we can't be sure there's a dupli..." " You've tired every other solution, haven't you?" "Now I've worked out a very simple plan." "First, we collect every key on this ship and tag it with the name of the owner." "Second, we strip all hands to make sure we've got all the keys." "Third, we test each key on the icebox padlock." "And the one that fits will give us the name of the owner." "But Captain, how do we know there is such a key?" "I say there's a key." "Captain, what's to prevent this bright boy from tossing the key overboard?" "No, no, no, he would never toss it overboard... after he had gone to all the trouble of making it." "He may try to hide it, but we'll find it." "I ah..." "never thought of that, sir." "Don't stand there, get on the ball." "We ought to have little fun for a change, now that we have some detective work to do." "Yes, sir." "Steve, turn me in if you want to." "But this is it." "This is over the line." "Queeg is a paranoia or there's no such thing as paranoia." "Tom, I warned you." " Yes." "Can't you see what he's doing?" "He's re-enacting his big triumph of his career, "The Cheese Investigation."" "He still wants to prove he is the red hot Ensign Queeg of 1937." "There is no key." "Well, what happened to the strawberries?" "Does it matter?" "Is it worth turning a ship upside down?" "Would anyone but a crazy man do it?" "Steve, are you familiar with Article 184 of Navy regulations?" "Vaguely." "Listen to this." "On the Caine it's required reading." "Article 184:" ""It is conceivable that most unusual and extraordinary circumstances may arise" ""In which the relief from duty of a commanding officer..." ""by a subordinate becomes necessary." ""Either by placing him under arrest or on the sick list." ""Such actions shall never be taken without the approval of the Navy Department..." ""except when it is impracticable because of the delay involved."" "If I were you, Steve, I'd memorize it." "I'll take these to the captain." " Great weather for stripping down." " Yeah, great for pneumonia." "That wouldn't stop the investigation." " Next." " Alright, Meatball, you can get dressed." "Why..." "Mr. Keith, don't you want to x-ray me for the key?" "Just to make sure?" "I've seen him, Mr. Keith, he swallowed the key with his coffee." "Very tricky." "Pipe down you guys, both of you." "So long, fellas." "Well, don't tell me you're escaping from the Caine." "I got dispatch orders back to the states." "My wife is seriously ill." "I'm sorry to hear that." " She'll be all right, Harding." " Thanks." "We'll keep you posted on the outcome of the great key investigation." "Yeah, do that." " Good luck, Harding." " Thank you, sir." "Look fellas, if I tell you something, will you promise not to do anything about it?" "At least for now, until I'm ashore?" " OK, what is it?" " There is no key." " What?" " How do you know?" "I know, the mess boys ate the strawberries." "I saw them." "I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to get them in trouble." "Then I made my mistake," "I told the captain." "He called me a lair, and threatened to hold up my orders ... if I mentioned a word to anyone." " So please don't say anything." " You can count on us." "Boy, I'm happy to get out of this madhouse." "Well, so long and good luck." "I'll call all your wives and girls for you." "Well..." "Tom, I've been thinking about what you've were saying." "I've been thinking about Article 184, and I've got to admit you're right." "Admiral Halsey is here with the fleet." "How about going over to see him after we finish with this nonsense." " Sure." " You too, Willie." "Request permission to come on board, sir." "Admiral Halsey's quarters." " Official business from the Caine." " Very well." " Lt. Jones." " Yes sir." "These gentlemen would like to see the admiral." "Very well." "Come along with me." "Just a minute please, gentlemen." "Steve, this is a fine time to think of this, but... we're making a big mistake." " What are you talking about?" " Well, look at this." "We've been kidding ourselves." "This isn't the Caine." "This is the real navy, with real officers, not Queegs." " The Caine's a freak, a floating mistake." " What are you driving at?" "They'll never believe our story." "I don't get it." "Is the captain off his head or isn't he?" "Is this record I've kept, correct or not?" "Yes, it's correct." "The trouble is that we won't be able to make it stick." "Unfortunately, everything Queeg did, everything you've got in your log there, can be interpreted as an attempt to enforce discipline." "Yes, but we know different." "Yeah, because we've lived through it, Halsey hasn't." "Why didn't you tell me this before?" "Just be glad I've thought of it now." "Believe me, Steve, if go through with this, we're in trouble." "It won't mean as much to our boy here and me, as it will to you, you want to stay in the Navy." "This can smash your whole career." "Do you want them to think you're a mutinous officer?" "Tom has an argument there." "Yes, but I'm willing to take a chance." "Are you scared?" "Scared?" "I can see six sides to every risk and 12 reasons why I shouldn't take it." "Cut the kidding, Tom." "Look fellas, behind this smiling eloquent brilliant exterior," "I've got a yellow streak 15 miles wide." " I'm too smart to be brave." " Admiral Halsey will see you now." "I pass." "Thanks anyway." "Thank the admiral." "We've decided this isn't the time." "Intercom:" "" Station special C at anchor detail." "" Make all preparations for getting under the way" "" Make all preparations for heavy weather." "Dismissed from quarters. "" " Steve, what do we do now?" " Without Tom, I couldn't get to first base." "I never even heard the word "paranoid" before he pulled it on me." "He's got to make the pitch, or we're sunk." "I just don't get it." "Tom's certainly not a coward." "To tell you the truth Willie, I don't know what Tom is... now." "You better double-time it back to your ship." "We received a storm warning and the fleet's getting underway." " Turn on the standard lights." " Aye, aye, sir" "Sir, the barometer's still dropping." "Captain, the barometer is still dropping!" " I've seen it." "Captain, the Chief Engineer wants to know if you gonna take on ballast?" "No." "Tell him no." "Captain, I suggest that we do, sir." "I'm not gonna foul up the fuel lines with salt water." "Captain the sea is brutal." "We need more knots to outrun it." "Bridge to Engine Control." "This is the captain speaking." "You down in there the engine room, I want power." "Power on the starboard engine, do you hear?" "Emergency flank power." "Do you want this ship to go down?" "We're in a typhoon." "Close that door and lock it." " Sir, I've relieved the watch." " Pass the word to put on life jackets." "It's difficult holding her, sir." "The wheel feels loose." "Captain, I don't know if we can keep on riding with our stern to the wind." "Those are fleet orders, Mr. Maryk." "I still think the depth charges should be put on safe." "Sir, the depth charges are on safe." "Mr. Keefer gave the order to set them" "Why wasn't I told these things?" "I can't go steaming around with a lot of dead charges." " Sir, I told Mr. Keefer..." " You speak when you're spoken too." "Mr. Keith, put this man on report for insolence and neglect of duty." "While you're at it, get another helmsman." "Keep that idiots face out of my sight." " But Stillwell's our best man." " Will you stop this back talking?" "Is there no one left on this ship who pays attention to my orders?" "Engine room reports #1 switchboard shorted out by salt water..." "Shifting to number two." "We're falling off to starboard now, sir." "Captain we're listing to." "Try backing the starboard engine." "Back the starboard engine!" " Back the starboard engine." " Aye, aye, sir!" "Willie, look in the radar shack." "See if there are any ships near us." "Aye, aye, sir." "If we keep our running with stern to the wind, we'll roll over." "Captain, the radars are jammed." "There's no sign of the fleet." "Passing 2-2-5..." "Swinging around faster." "Captain, we have to maneuver for the safety of the ship." "We received no orders to move to maneuver at discretion." "Fleet course is 1-8-0." "Sir, how do you know what the fleet orders are now?" "We can call the fleet Commander and tell him we're in trouble." "We're not in any trouble." "Heading 2-4-5!" "I can't hold the wheel, sir!" "Captain, back the starboard engine!" "Captain!" "Stilwell, hold it a hard right!" " Ease your rudder to standard." " Rudder easing to standard, sir." "Heading 3-2-5." "She's coming around slower, sir." "Stay on this bearing heading into the wind." "Steady on 0-0-0." "Who gave those orders?" "Fleet course is 1-8-0." "Captain, we're in serious trouble." "Mr. Maryk, if you question my decisions once more, I'll order you off this bridge." "Helsman, come left." "Stilwell, steady as you go." "Willie, note the time." "Captain, I'm sorry, but you're a sick man." "I'm relieving you as captain of this ship under Article 184." "I don't know what you are talking about." "Helmsman, left 1-8-0." "Mr. Keith, what do I do?" "You're the Officer of the Deck." "I told you to come left, now come left, and fast." "I'm sorry sir, but you're not issuing orders on this bridge anymore." "I've relieved you." "I take full responsibility." "Mr. Maryk, you're under arrest." "Go below to your cabin." "Left to 1-8-0." "No, to right standard rudder." "Come to new course 0-0-0." "Mr. Keith, what do I do?" "Come north, Stilwell." "Mr. Maryk has taken command." "Call your relief, Mr. Keith." "You're under arrest, too." "All officers not on watch, report to the bridge." "This is Mr. Maryk." " What's up?" " I have just relieved the captain." "He will continue to be treated with the utmost courtesy." "But from now on, I will give all orders." "I take full responsibility for this action." "Don't kid yourself, Mr. Keith backed you up." "He'll pay the same as you will." "You officers, if you know what's good for you, tell them to stop, while they can." "You officers approve?" "Do you, Mr. Keefer?" " It isn't up to Mr. Keefer to approve, Captain." " You'll all hang for conspiracy to mutiny." "Everybody back to their stations." "Hold the course 0-0-0." " It's right over there, mister." " Thank you." "Yes?" "Yes, this is Ensign Keith." "New York?" "Thank you." "Hello?" "Hello?" " May?" " Willie, I've been trying to get you all day." " Are you all right?" " Well, I'm OK." "How are you?" "Willie, an officer from your ship called." "Ensign Harding?" "He told me that you were in trouble." "Willie, I'm worried." "Is your mother there with you?" " No, she's in Washington." "Uncle Loyd's sick." " Sorry to hear it." "May, it was wonderful of you to phone." " May... darling." " Willie, please don't." "What an idiot I was." "I could have married you in the most beautiful place in the world." " I'll always regret that I didn't for the rest of my life." " Don't... please." "It's over." "It's all in the past." "But I want you to know that I love you, and I'll never forget you." "Goodbye, Willie." "Thank you." " Mr. Maryk?" " I'm Maryk" "My name is Barney Greenwald." "Pleased to meet you." "Have a crack-up?" "Yep." " Are you our lawyer?" " Well, I'm a lawyer." " This is Ensign Keith, Lieutenant Keefer." " Keith." "You're the co-defendant." "Yes, sir." " And you, Mr. Keefer?" " I'm holding his coat." "I'm a friend of the family." "That's pretty flip under the circumstances, Mr. Keefer." "Sorry, I was on board the Caine, communications officer." "I will be frank with you two." "I read the preliminary investigation very carefully, and I think that what you've done stinks." "If that's the way you feel about it, then why are you taking the case?" "I didn't say I'd take it." "I told legal I would have a talk with Mr. Maryk." "Rather I take it or not depends on what he has to say." "Steve, maybe you better get yourself another lawyer." "Try it." "Eight other officers have already turned it down." "I don't want to upset you too much, but at the moment, you have an excellent chance of being hanged." "We'll answer anything you want to know, Mr. Greenwald." "Alright, Mr. Maryk, which are you?" "A fool or a mutineer?" "There's no third possibility." "I guess the only way I could prove I was right was to let the ship go down." "Three ships were lost in the typhoon, you know." "Sure, and 194 stayed afloat without the executive officer relieving the skipper." "There wasn't any other choice." "Hold it Willie." "OK, maybe I was a fool, but I'm not a mutineer." "He should get a medal for what he did." "He had a paranoid skipper who went to pieces when the ship was in danger." "And he saved the ship." "The Navy has three psychiatrists who are prepared testify... that Capt. Queeg is completely sane." "Sure..." "paranoids are clever." "They walk a thin dividing line between sanity and lunacy." "Are you a psychiatrist, Mr. Keefer?" "No, I'm a writer." "It's my business to be a judge of human behavior." "I see." "And you were the first one to notice the captain's "psychotic symptoms"?" "Yes." "You explained this all very carefully to Mr. Maryk, of course." " I discussed it, yes." " Well, that's an interesting point." "Would you be prepared to repeat it on the witness stand?" "Why not?" "Mr. Keefer, you ought to take a look at Article 186 of Navy regulations." ""An officer relieving his commanding officer, or recommending such action..." ""Together with all others who so counsel..." ""Must bear the legitimate responsibility for..." ""and must be prepared to justify such action."" "That's confusing the issue." "I'm not on trial." "If I were, I'd take the rap with the others." "Too bad we can't use you as an expert on psychiatry." "After all, you made the diagnosis." "Yes." "The atmosphere is getting a little thick in here." "If you can get along without me, I'll wait in the hall." "Tom had nothing to do with it." "It was my decision." "Nobody counseled me, nobody told me what to do." " Sure." " Will you take the case?" "I'd much rather prosecute." "Well, I guess I can't blame you." " I'll take it." " How do we plead?" " Your case depends on Maryk." " Well, then, how do I plead?" "Not guilty, of course." "You're a great naval hero." "Charge: "Making a mutiny."" "Specification: "In that Steven Maryk, Lieutenant, United States Naval Reserve." ""While serving on board the USS Caine, did on or about July 31, 1944." ""Willfully, forcibly, and without proper authority..." ""relieve Lt. Commander Phillip Francis Queeg, U.S. Navy" ""Who was then and there was engaged lawfully in the exercise of his command," ""the United States then being in a state of war."" "Steven Maryk, Lt. U.S. Navy you heard the charge and specifications preferred against you." "How say you to the specification?" "Guilty or not guilty?" "Not guilty." "How say you to the charge?" "Guilty or not guilty?" "Not guilty." "Gentlemen, the prosecution is prepared to prove... that the removal of Lt. Commander Queeg was not justified... by any provision of the U.S. Navy regulations." "And consequently, constituted the making of a mutiny against legal authority." "We will also submit qualified psychiatric testimony... establishing without a doubt... that Lt. Commander Queeg is a sane and intelligent officer, and should not have been relieved." "No statement at this time." "In order to establish circumstances, the prosecution would like to call... as it's first witness, Ensign Willis Stewart Keith." "Mr. Keith, where you the Officer of the Deck on the DMS Caine... during the morning of the 31st of July?" "Yes, sir." "Was the Captain relieved of command by the Executive Officer during that watch?" "Yes, sir." "Do you know why the Executive Officer took the action he did?" "I do." "The Captain lost control of himself and the ship was in imminent danger of foundering." "Have you ever been in a ship that foundered?" "No, sir." " Mr. Keith, how long have you been in the Navy?" " A little over a year, sir." "Do you know how many years Lt. Commander Queeg served at sea?" "No." "As a matter of fact, Lt. Commander Queeg has served over eight years." "I ask you, which of you is better qualified to judge if a ship is foundering?" "Myself, sir." "When I am in possession of my faculties... and Lt. Commander Queeg is not." "Tell me, Mr. Keith." "Just how would you describe this loss of faculties?" "Did the Captain rave or make insane gestures?" "Well, no, sir." "After being relieved, did the Captain go violently crazy?" "Well, the Captain was never wild or raving either before or after being relieved." "There are other forms of mental illness." "Thank you for your expert opinion." "Are you aware the Captain has been pronounced completely rational by three qualified psychiatrists?" "They weren't on the bridge of the Caine during that typhoon, sir." " Did you like the Captain, Mr. Keith?" " At first I did, yes, sir." "And later?" "Well, I thought he was incompetent and unfair." "He blamed the members of the crew for his own mistakes." "And He rode the men too hard." " Yourself included?" " Yes, sir." "You ended up by hating Captain Queeg?" "Yes, sir." "Now, let's come to the morning of 31st of July, Mr. Keith." "Was your decision to obey Mr. Maryk... based upon your judgment that the Captain had gone crazy... or was it based on your hatred of Capt. Queeg?" "Mr. Keith, it's contempt of court to refuse to answer questions... except on sufficient grounds." "All I can say is that I believe Mr. Maryk did the right thing, sir." "No further questions." "Mr. Keith, I would like to ask if you have ever heard the expression "Old Yellowstain"?" " Would you repeat that, please." " "Old Yellow-stain."" " Yes, sir, I've heard it." " Was it a nickname?" "Yes, for Captain Queeg." " What did it imply?" " It implied Cowardice." "I object." "I move that question and answer be struck from the record... as an unnecessary attack on the honor of an Naval officer." "Mr. Greenwald, the career of an officer with a 14 year... unblemished record is involved here." "The court understands your zeal, but I warn you, you bear full responsibility for your conduct in this case." "The court will hold in abeyance to the prosecution's motion." "Did that nickname have anything to do with the typhoon?" " No, sir." " That's all." " No further questions." " The court has no questions." "Mr. Keith, you are warned not to discuss your testimony with anyone... except the parties to the trial and the accused." "You're excused." "The ship was rolling bad." "I couldn't hold her." "The Captain wanted me to come left, the Exec wanted me to come right." " Which did you do?" " I obeyed Mr. Maryk, sir." "Why?" "Well, Mr. Keith told me that Mr. Maryk had taken command." "Did the captain act crazy?" "No, sir." " Did Mr. Maryk act crazy?" " No, sir." " Did the Captain seemed scared?" " No, sir." " Did Mr. Maryk seemed scared?" " No, sir." "Did anyone?" "Just me." "I was dam..." "I was plenty scared." "Did you like Captain Queeg?" "I liked him, but not a lot." "But I liked him." " He acted strange." " Was it strange he cleaned up the Caine?" "No, sir." "Was it strange he made the men get haircuts?" "No, sir." " Was it strange he was strict about Navy regulations?" "No, sir." "Evidently, what you thought strange were attempts... to make good sailors of his crew." "That's all." "What do those campaign stars represent?" "Well..." "What do they represent?" "This silver star is the Coral Sea, Midway, Guadalcanal, Tulagi..." " That's all." " Call Lt. Thomas Keefer." "Mr. Keefer, when did you first learn about Capt. Queeg's relief?" "Mr. Maryk called us to the bridge." "When we arrived, he told us he had assumed full command." "Did Captain Queeg show any external signs of being sick?" "Well, in the height of a typhoon nobody on board a DMS looks very well." "Lt. Keefer, didn't you realize... that Capt. Queeg's warning to the other officers... about collusion in mutiny was well founded?" "Yes, I did, sir." "Then why, as the next senior officer, did you take no action?" "I wasn't present when the Captain was relieved." "So, I don't know what he might have done... in the critical moments to convince the Executive Officer he was sick." "I decided for the safety of the ship that my best course was to obey Mr. Maryk's order." "Until such time higher authority either endorsed or overruled his action." "Mr. Keefer, during all the period Captain Queeg... was in command of the Caine." "Did you ever observe any evidence of insanity in him?" "I'm afraid I can't answer that question intelligently, not being a psychiatrist." "Mr. Keefer, did you ever have any reason to think Capt. Queeg might be insane?" "Greewald:" "Objection, the witness is not an expert." "Matters of opinion are not permissible evidence." "Judge:" "Strike it from the record." "Mr. Keefer, at anytime prior to 31st of July, did you know that Mr. Maryk suspected Capt Queeg of being mentally ill?" "Yes, sir." "Mr. Maryk showed me a medical log he had written on Capt. Queeg's behavior." "Did you believe that log justified the relief of Captain Queeg?" " Well, sir..." " Yes or no, please?" "No, sir." "Mr. Maryk was a close friend of mine." "He persuaded Mr. Keith and me to go with him to see Admiral Halsey." "When we arrived on board the flagship I told him as forcibly as I could, that the log didn't justify such action." "And that we all would be liable to a charged of combining to make a mutiny." "Were you surprised later when Mr. Maryk relieved the captain?" "Yes, sir." "I was flabbergasted." " Were you pleased, Mr. Keefer?" " I've said Mr. Maryk was a close friend." "I was badly disturbed." "I anticipated that at best, he would be involved in a great difficulty." "No further questions." "No questions." "Does Defense Counsel intended to recall the witness at a later time?" "No, sir." " No cross-examination?" " No, sir." "Witness, excused." "But Barney, he's lying." "Every time he opens his mouth, he gets you into more trouble." "Forget it." "I want one hero, not two mutineers." "Call Dr Dixon, please." "Dr Dixon, please." "How did it go, Tom?" "Raw deal." "You know." "You were on the hot seat yourself." "Sure, I didn't know whether I was coming or going." "But you're the old word-king." "You know what you were doing." "Yeah..." "Yeah, I knew what I was doing." "Doctor, may I ask you as a psychiatrist, is it possible for a sane man to perform offensive or foolish acts?" "It happens every day." "Assuming for the moment, this is a hypothetical question..." "Assuming that the captain's conduct was harsh and oppressive, and often showed bad judgment." "Would that be inconsistent with your diagnosis of him?" "No, no, my colleagues and I didn't find Lt. Commander Queeg a perfect officer." "We found a absence of mental illness." "Then you would still say that the defended was unjustified in relieving him?" "From a psychiatric standpoint, completely unjustified." "Your witness." "Doctor my background is legal, not medical." "Forgive me if I ask some elementary questions." "It's perfectly alright." "Now doctor, you said in previous testimony that Lt. Commander Queeg, like all adults, had problems which he handled well." "Could you describe the problems?" "I object." "Lt. Commander Queeg is not on trial here." "Lt. Maryk is." "This question constitutes irrelevant probing of medical confidence." "I rely on the judgment of the court." "Evidence regarding Lt. Commander Queeg's mental make-up... is of the utmost importance to my case." "The question is material." "Objection overruled." "The doctor may answer within the limits of medical discretion." "The reporter will repeat the question." ""You said that Lt. Commander Queeg, like all adults," ""had problems which he handled well." ""Could you describe the problems?"" "The overall problem is one of inferiority arising from an unfavorable childhood... and aggravated by some adult experiences." " What were those adult experiences?" " He'd undergone a lot of strain." "Long, arduous, combat duty." "I think that's about all I can say." " Would he be incline to admit mistakes?" " Well, none of us are." " Would he be a perfectionist then?" " Yes." "Inclined to hound subordinates about small details?" "Yes." "Would he be incline to think that people were hostile to him?" "Yes, that'd be part of the picture, yes." "And if criticized, would he feel that he was being unjustly persecuted?" "I say it's all one pattern stemming from one premise... that he must try to be perfect." "Now doctor, you have testified that the following symptoms... exist in Lt. Commander Queeg's behavior:" "Rigidity of personality, feelings of persecution, unreasonable suspicion, a mania for perfection, and a neurotic certainty that he is always in the right." "Doctor, isn't there one psychiatric term for this illness?" " I never said there was any illness." " Thank you for the correction, sir." "What would you call a personality that had all these symptoms?" "A paranoid personality." "But that is not a disabling illness." " What kind of personality, Doctor?" " Paranoid." "Thank you." "If I may speak, sir." "I would like to protest the counsel's twisting of words." "There's a big difference between real mental illness and minor mental disturbances." "Let me put it this way, Doctor." "Could Captain Queeg have been disabled by the severe strain of command?" " That's absurdly hypothetical." " Is it?" " Have you ever had any sea duty, doctor?" " No." " Have you ever been at sea?" " No." "How long have you been in the Navy?" "Five months." "Have you ever had any dealings with ship captains before this case?" "No." "Then I suggest that you can not set yourself up... as an authority on the strain of command, and thus you may be completely wrong about Capt Queeg." " Your witness." " One minute, Doctor." "It seems counsel for defense has raised an interesting point." "Now in private practice, did you ever have patients... who had to deal with complicated command decisions?" "Men such as plant managers, industrialists, etc..." "Yes, quite a few." "Including some fliers, who have to decide questions of life and death every day." "I've written a book on the subject." "And in those cases, could you detect where a neurosis... might damage the ability to make decisions correctly and at the right time?" "Absolutely." "And in your examination of Lt. Commander Queeg." " And you found no such damage, is that right?" " Absolutely right." "Thank you, Doctor." "That'll be all." " Smart guy, Charlie." " He's sure gonna bear down on me." "And that's the way I saw it." "I thought it was my duty as a naval officer." "Captain Queeg was mentally ill and I had to take over." "And I tell you honestly, if I had to do it again, I'd do it." "Thank you, Mr. Maryk." "Your witness, sir." "Mr. Maryk, just a few questions." "Would you say your grades in high school were average?" " Lower than average." " And in college?" "Lower than average." "What training have you had in psychiatry, or medicine?" "None." "Where did you get the idea that Capt Queeg was mentally ill?" " Out of books..." " What books, name the titles." "Oh..." "I can't remember them." " Mr. Maryk, define schizophrenia." " I can't." " What's a manic-depressive?" " I don't know." "What's the difference between "paranoid" and "paranoia" ?" "I don't know." "In truth, than Mr. Maryk, you don't know what you're talking about when you discuss mental illness." "I didn't say I know much about it." "Yet, you thought you knew enough to commit an act of outright mutiny." "I wanted to save the ship." "But doctors, responsible doctors, Mr, Maryk, have found the Captain wasn't mentally ill, haven't they?" " They weren't in the ship." " But, isn't the reverse possible?" "Mr. Maryk, isn't it possible that under pressure, you became erratic and couldn't understand the captain's sound decisions?" " Isn't that possible?" " It's possible." "Between the Captain and his Executive Officer, who is presumed by the Navy to have the better judgment in ship handling?" " The captain." " One last question, Mr. Maryk." "If the diagnosis of expert doctors is correct, then you're guilty as charged, aren't you?" "I guess, maybe so." " No more questions." " No further questions." "You may step down, Mr. Maryk." "Take it easy." "You've just seen the first act." "The finale's still to come." "Good afternoon, gentlemen." "I assumed command of an extremely sloppy, badly-handled ship." "I was determined to bring the ship into line." "Lt. Maryk, I might say, opposed me from the very first." "Maybe he thought I was crazy to keep trying." "In your judgment, was your ship on the verge of foundering... when the Executive Officer assumed command?" "Well, as you gentlemen know, in a typhoon is an extreme hazard at all times, but the ship was riding well." "Lt. Maryk, however, went into a panic and ran amok." "He acted under the disillusion that he, and he alone, could save the ship." "Ensign Willis Keith, a totally unreliable and disloyal officer, combined with him against me at this crucial time." "Bad luck for them really." "I bear them no malice." "I'm extremely sorry for them." "No more questions." "A word of caution before you proceed with the examination, Mr. Greenwald." "The court recognizes the defense is compelled... to try to challenge the competence of Lt. Commander Queeg." "Nevertheless, all the requirements of legal ethics..." " and military respect remain in force." " Thank you, sir." "Mr. Queeg, during a period when the Caine was towing targets." "Did you ever steam over your own tow line and cut it?" "Objection." "I beg the courts indulgence." "But, I must say, the defense outrages the dignity of this proceeding." "The judge advocate wants the defense to switch to a guilty plead." "He thinks the report of the psychiatrist closes the case." "But I say it is up to you line naval officers, not doctors... to judge the captain's performance of duty." "And I must review that performance of duty for the navy to render a judgment." "Objection overruled." "Now sir, did you ever steam over your own tow line and cut it?" "Well sir, I for one, am happy to dispose of this particular slander." "During the time we were towing the target," "I noticed some anti-aircraft bursts close to board." "Naturally, I turned to avoid them." "And you continued to turned in a full circle?" "Well, my helmsman, a very unreliable man, failed to warn me we that we were coming around 360 degrees." "I caught it in time and instantly reversed course." "To the best of my knowledge, we didn't steam over the tow line." "I see." "Well, besides the anti-aircraft burst, did nothing else distract you?" "No, not that I recall." "Captain, weren't you engaged in reprimanding a seaman... named "Lugatch" at length, for having his shirt-tail out... while the ship turned 360 degrees?" "Well yes, I reprimanded him, but that only took two seconds." "Un huh" "Now on the morning the Caine escorted attack boats of Marines to the beach." "Did your orders include dropping a yellow dye marker?" " I don't recall." " Did you drop a dye marker?" "I don't recall." "Well Captain, didn't you steam several hundred yards ahead of the attack boats, drop a yellow dye marker, and retire at high speed, leaving the boats to make the beach on their own?" "The question is abusive and fragrantly leading." "Mr. Greenwald, there can be a no more serious charge... against an officer than cowardice under fire." "Sir, may I make one thing clear?" "It is not the defense's contention that Lt. Commander Queeg is a coward." "Quite the contrary." "The defense assume that no man who raises to command a US naval ship... can possibly be a coward." "And therefore, if he commits questionable acts under fire, the explanation must be elsewhere." "You may resume your examination." "Captain, you seem to be the victim of constantly disloyal officers." "Now, I didn't say that." "Only some of them were disloyal." " Mr. Keith and Mr. Maryk, for instance?" " Yes." "Mr. Queeg, this is a fitness report you wrote on Mr. Maryk, 1 July, 1944." "One month before he relieved you." "Do you recognize it?" "Yes, I do." "Do you mind reading your comments on Mr. Maryk?" "[Queeg mumbles]" "I don't believe the court can hear you, Mr. Queeg." ""This officer has improved in performance and duties since his last fitness report."" ""He's consistently loyal, unflagging, thorough, courageous, and efficient."" ""He's recommended for transfer to the regular navy."" "Now, in relation to that report, would like to say that..." "Thank you, sir." "Captain, did you ever turn your ship upside down... in the vain search for a key that did not exist?" "I don't know what lies have been sworn to in this court," "But I would like to set you straight on this matter right here and now." "A key definitely did exist." "May it please the court." "The witness is understandably agitated by this ordeal, and I request a brief recess to give him a brief..." "I don't want a recess." "I'll answer all questions right here, and now." " Did you conduct such a search?" " Yes, I did." "As usual, my disloyal officers failed me, and the key couldn't be found." "Is it a matter of actual fact that wasn't this whole fuss over a quart of strawberries?" "The pilfering of food in large amounts or small, is one of the most serious occurrences on board ship." "Yes, but didn't you learn that the mess boys had eaten the strawberries... and that you were conducting a search for an imaginary key?" "I repeat, the key was not imaginary." "And I don't know anything about the mess boys eating strawberries." "Captain, have you no recollection of a conversation with an Ensign Harding... just prior to him leaving the Caine?" "What about?" "Didn't Esign Harding tell you that the mess boys ate the strawberries?" "All I remember is that, he was very grateful for his transfer." "His wife was ill in the states." "Captain, do you know where Ensign Harding is now?" "I have no way of knowing." "Ensign Harding is in San Diego." "His wife is fully recovered." "He has already been summoned and can be flown up here in three hours if necessary." "Would it serve any useful purpose to have him testify?" "No, I..." "I..." "I don't see any need of that." "Now that I recall, he might have said something about mess boys, and then again he might not." "I questioned so many men, and Harding was not the most reliable officer." "I'm afraid the defense has no other recourse than to produce Ensign Harding." "Now, there's no need for that!" "I know exactly what he'll tell you, lies!" "No different from any other officer in the wardroom." "They were all disloyal." "I tried to run the ship properly, by the book, but they fought me at every turn." "If the crew wanted to walk around with their shirt-tails hanging out, that's alright, let them." "Take the tow line... defective equipment." "No more, no less" "But they encouraged the crew to go around scoffing at me, spreading wild rumors about steaming in circles." "And then "Old Yellowstain"." "I was to blame for Lt Maryk's incompetence and poor seamanship." "Lt Maryk was the perfect officer, but not Capt Queeg." "Ah... but the strawberries, that's where I had them." "They laughed at me and made jokes." "But I proved beyond the shadow of the doubt... with geometric logic that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did existed." "I would have produced that key, if they hadn't pulled the Caine out of action." "I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer..." "Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory." "If I've left anything out, why, just ask me specific questions." "And, I'll be glad to answer them one by one." "No further questions, sir." "The court is closed." ""For he's a jolly good fellow for he's a jolly good fellow" ""for he's a jolly good fellow that nobody can deny. "" "[Singing continues]" "No, baby, there are no girls here." "Just the officers of the Caine." "What, darling?" "Hey, Steve, make them pipe down, will you." "Knock it off, fellas." "Ole Willie is talking to his girl." "Hi, Tom." "Hi, fellas." " Steve." " Hello, Tom." "I didn't think you had the guts to come around." "I didn't have the guts not to." "Steve." "I want to thank you for not telling the fellas about what happened." "Of course I'm delighted about the way things turned out." "So, It's over and done with." "Look, you can take a plane tonight." "I'm getting a new ship and a new skipper, but we'll have plenty of time to get married." "We'll let my mother afterwards." "Please, May." "I love you, darling." "I love you!" "Goodbye, sweetheart." "Hey, Steve, Tom, that was May." "We're..." "Well, well, well." "The officers of the Caine in happy celebration." " What are you Barney, kind of tight?" " Sure, I've got a guilty conscience." "I defended you Steve because I found the wrong man was on trial." "So I torpedoed Queeg for you." "I had to torpedo him." "And I feel sick about it." "OK Barney, take it easy." "You know something?" "When I was studying law, and Mr. Keefer here was writing his stories." "And you Willie was tearing up the dear old playing fields of Princeton." "Who was standing guard over this fat, dumb happy country of ours, aye?" "Not us." "Oh no, we knew you couldn't make any money in the service." "Who did the dirty work for us?" "Queeg did, and a lot of other guys." "Tough, sharp guys who didn't crack up like Queeg." "But no matter what, Capt Queeg endangered the ship and lives of the men." "He didn't endanger anybodies lives." "You did, all of you." "You're a fine bunch of officers." "You said yourself he cracked." "I'm glad you brought that up Mr. Painter." "That's a very pretty point." "You know, I left out one detail in court martial." "It wouldn't have helped our case any." "Tell me Steve, after the "Yellowstain" incident," "Queeg came to you for help, and you turned him down." "Didn't you?" "Yes, we did." "You didn't approve of his conduct as an officer." "He wasn't worthy of your loyalty." "So you turned on him." "You ragged him." "You made up songs about him." "If you'd given Queeg the loyalty he needed, do you suppose the whole issue would have come up in the typhoon?" "You're an honest man, Steve, I'm asking you." "Do you think it would have been necessary for you to take over?" "It probably wouldn't have been necessary." " If that's true, we were guilty." " Ah... you're learning, Willie." "You learn you don't work with a captain because of the way he parts his hair." "You work with him because he's got the job, or you're no good." "Well, the case is over." "You're all safe." "It was like shooting fish in a barrel." "And now we come to the man who should have stood trial." "The Caine's favorite author." "The Shakespeare whose testimony nearly sunk us all." "Tell them, Keefer." "No, you go ahead." "You're telling it better." "You ought to read his testimony." "He never even heard of Capt Queeg." " Let's forget it, Barney." " Queeg was sick, he couldn't help himself." "But you, you're real healthy." "Only you didn't have one tenth the guts he had." "Except I never fooled myself, Mr. Greenwald." "I want to drink a toast to you, Mr. Keefer." "From the beginning you hated the Navy." "And then you thought up this whole idea." "You managed to keep your skirts nice and starched and clean, even in the court martial." "Steve Maryk will always be remembered as a mutineer..." "But you..." "You'll publish your novel, you'll make a million bucks, marry a big movie star." "And for the rest of your life, you'll live with your conscience." "If you have any." "Here's to the real author of "The Caine Mutiny"." "Here's to you, Mr. Keefer." "If you want to do anything about it, I'll be outside." "I'm a lot drunker than you are, so it'll be a fair fight." " Goodbye, darling." " Goodbye, Willie." "Keith!" "Attention on deck." "Keith." "Yes, sir." "Take her out." "Aye, aye, sir." " Single up all lines!" " "Single up all lines!"" " Stand by to cast off!" " "Stand by to cast off!""