"Take two." "(Armando) It'd be nice to get to look at the ones at the back as well." "I feel we will." " Talk us through." " Yeah." " Talk us through your bacon." " Yeah. (Chuckles)" "(Man) Cameras are set." "Nice and quiet." "And action." "This is Home Shopping Bacon, where last year we delivered five million rashers." "That sounds impressive but there's plenty more still to come." "Today an array for you, an array of prices." "Er, you can afford the bacon that I've got today." "A lot of people tune into this channel and think, "That's some pretty premium stuff," ""I won't be able to afford it." You can." "Quick whizz through and I'll go through it in detail in a second." "I've got the smoky and the streaked on this side." "That goes at a really low price, we've bought a lot of that stuff, and we've brought it in from Denmark as well." "Over here, it's your home-grown stuff, if you like." "Your home-grown oinkers!" "From Wiltshire." "Over here we'll be doing the back bacon - think meaty texture, think juicy, think almost a little bit of fat just dribbling down there." "You can see it now and we'll be back to it shortly." "Over here, this is paler stuff, but it does darken up when it gets on the grill." "And, I don't know whether you've still got one, and this is talking nostalgia now, but do you remember the George Foreman grill?" "A lot of people don't have them any more, they've been going for some big prices recently." "You put one of these fellas on a George Foreman grill and now we're talking lunch time." "But I'll start with what I've got right in front of me here and I'll pop one of these little fellas just over my hand." "Et me tell you, if you go down the high street, you're looking for certain things." "Jewellery for instance, you're looking for diamonds, it's the four C's that are very important." "What's the carat weight like?" "What's it cut like inside?" "Bacon, exactly the same." "When you get your bacon, if normally you go to a butcher's, they don't tell you this kind of stuff, but I'm gonna tell it you now, and prices for this coming up at the bottom of the screen now if you want to buy it." "Remember, we delivered five million rashers last year alone." "We are the big one." "So what are you looking for?" "Couple of important things." "In here you need the right cut of fat." "Now, with the naked eye it's very difficult to tell what the right cut of fat is, but if you get very close on that there you'll see just little thin veins of fat." "You want the taste, you gotta have the fat." "There's no choice in this." "If you get bacon and you look at it close up, and I know a lot of people do this, they'll get right down there and look at it, in the high street and the supermarkets, and you think, "What are they doing?"" "They're looking for the quality." "They're looking for the fat veins in there." "Now that's what gives it the taste." "You mix that with a little brown sauce..." "But I've got a better idea." "I've got a better idea." "This stuff's starting to sell out now." "Three quarters of the stock of that has already gone." "If you want it, you must call now for that straightaway." "But I promised you this, didn't I?" "I promised you this over here." "And let me take a very thin..." "I hope you don't mind." "Ooh, this is the... ook at this!" "This is a beauty." "Right, now, what was I talking about before?" "The fat." "Ook at that." "Now that really is back of the bacon net, isn't it?" "Ook at that there." "Now, here's an idea." "It's Sunday morning." "You've got wholemeal bread, it's fresh." "Beautiful." "You get it out, you put a very thin layer of butter on it." "Butter." "Remember that?" "You've been on that margarine stuff for years thinking it was healthy." "Forget it." "You get the butter on and now a little Dijon mustard." "Oh." "A big cuppa on a Sunday morning, the Sunday papers, and that - premium grade, from Denmark, shipped in." "Not at a price to you." "You'll have seen the details change at the bottom of the screen." "How's about that?" "We can do you one pack or multiples of ten and we'll deliver it direct to your door in about five days." "That stuff there is Danish, but if you're saying, "No, I stand up for what's British,"" "hey, so do we here at Home Shopping Bacon as well." "Et me take you over to this side because this is what we call down the Dog  Duck a big old unit." "This is a fat boy." "Oh, eh?" "Now, Monday morning, Tuesday morning, Wednesday morning or Thursday, if it's Friday morning I don't care, what I want is a fat boy in my mouth." "Now, I've got it here and I've got it now." "This is from Wiltshire." "You've seen them, I've seen them, when you're driving down the road and you glance out of the car and the kids are saying," ""Daddy, Daddy, what's that over there?"" "I'm saying to you, "That is a big oinker, that's one from Wiltshire," ""we'll be chewing down on that shortly." And have a look at this, because here it is." "I was talking about the fat before and, ooh, threaded through there, it feels a little slimy to the touch and so it should." "So it shou..." "When you get it out, you rub it." "You rub it like that, eh?" "Now when I'm rubbing it on the back of my hand there's a certain sensuality to what I'm rubbing." "It feels good." "You wanna try this yourself." "Never mind cooking it." "But if you've got any sort of ailments, I'll tell you, this sort of thing, a lot of people swear by it now, open cuts and sores, bang a bit of the Wiltshire fella on there, that could sort you out." "Price at the bottom of the screen, you can get it now, going cheap I think you'll agree, there's no messing about." "Remember what I said at the start." "We delivered last year over five million rashers of bacon." " (lannucci) Stop." " (aughter, applause)" "(Sighs, clears throat)" "(Man) Right, we'll have that on the internet by morning."