"[We'd like to tell you another true story...] [... another of the stories that the great river sweeps up...] [..." "like dead leaves along the Po banks on its way down to the sea.]" "[Nothing's changed there, even though time has passed...] [... the same people with the same heads as before...] [... which the same sun beats fiercely down on.]" "[The only thing that's changed is that the heads also work at night...] [... because, in the Po Valley, election fever has broken out...] [... assuming epidemic proportions.]" "Your attention please!" "Buy the people's newspaper the workers' newspaper." "Attention please!" "Attention please!" ""Patria Unita", the people's newspaper with the lists of the front." "Support the fight for peace by passing on the newspaper of freedom, the newspaper of the democracy, "Patria Unita" special edition with the lists of the front's candidates nominated by the workers." "The newspaper of truth, The newspaper of democracy!" " The newspaper..." " The independent front's newspaper the newspaper of the workers, the newspaper of the Communist Party." "Buy the people's newspaper the workers' newspaper." "Attention please!" "Attention please!" ""Patria unita", the people's newspaper with the lists of the front." "I say, newsvendor!" "Could I have, the "Osservatore Romano" please?" "It's Mr. Mayor!" "I took you for the newsvendor with all those..." "What are you selling?" "The newspaper of the truth..." "The truth for only 25 lire?" "That's not much." "Give me one." "Thanks, there you are." "Don't you have change for 5,000 lire?" "I should've imagined it, sorry, I expect you haven't sold many." "I'm sorry for you but, actually, I've five bundles already today." "Six if you include mine, Dad." "Six bundles." "Six bundles, to whom?" " 4,500." " That's enough, that'll do." " No." " The honor of having bought Mr. Mayor's newspaper is well worth 500 lire." " No, no." " As you wish." "Here's the change." "Not one lira less we don't take money from reactionaries." " Of course not, they say..." " What are you insinuating?" "Nothing at all." "Oh no?" " Well I never!" " What?" "It's printed in Italian." " So?" " Buy "Patria unita"..." "I thought it would be written in Russian." ""Patria unita"..." "But this isn't quite right there's one "patria" too many and an accent missing on "unita"." "Good day, Mr. Mayor and best wishes for your news vending business." " The "Patria"!" " The newspaper of peace!" "Jesus, Jesus!" "He's on the list, he's standing as a candidate." " He's aiming at Parliament." " What's wrong with that?" "What's wrong with it?" "Peppone a Member of Parliament!" "Why not Minister?" "What would you say, Lord, if I put my name on the list to become bishop?" " Yes, that would be strange." "Forgive me Lord, but their hypocrisy and their lies exasperate me." "You know very well, Lord, how I loathe and detest lies." " What?" " I didn't say anything." "I apologize, I thought..." "I will not stand for deceit." "I have many faults, Lord but lying and cheating others is not one of them." "This independent front is fak..." "Like your banknote, Don Camillo." "My banknote?" "Which banknote?" "The 5,000 lire note you foisted on Peppone." "I'd forgotten." "I must have been distracted." "Whatever the case may be, the fact is you used a fake note to buy a bunch of lies, It all adds up perfectly." "What about the 4,975 lire Peppone gave you back as change?" "How do you account for that?" "I could always accept it as a voluntary contribution from the independent front to improve the soup we serve to pensioners in need." "Of course I shall be sending him an official receipt." "...the clergy!" "If you love the truth..." "Do you hear them Lord?" "But it's no use, they're not going to win, God will never allow it." "Then may Don Camillo's will be done." "Your will, Lord." "Your will, not mine." "[The Day of Peace marked the beginning of the battle...] [... and Red propaganda went well beyond the words on the posters.]" "[Quick-talking men, who came specially from the city...] [... began to winkle their way skillfully into every small group.]" "Of course, when it's the common good that's at stake personal ambitions have to be put aside." "The honorable gentlemen who work to achieve social equality and well-being." "We must stand united." "We don't need Party lists, we need an independent list made up of honest men of every political color to all you dear comrades." " We've had enough of politics we want to live in peace!" "That's what we women must think about, peace." " WOMEN, DEFEND YOUR MENFOLK." "DO WN WITH WAR!" "UP WITH PEACE!" "" " Long live women workers!" " Women workers my foot now I have to do everything at home." "You shameful hussy!" "Come home at once!" "I'm hungry, come along with me!" " WOMEN!" "ALL GO TO THE MUNICIPAL THEATRE " "[Women specializing in women's problems...] [... turned up to point female opinion in the right direction.]" "[A woman's vote is equal to a man's vote...] [... but her opinion is much more important.]" "[The party that knows how to win over women has a secret agent...] [... in the heart of every family.]" "Those of you who are young women, fiancées, brides and especially those of you who are mothers, I mean women of every social background, and of all ages at times like these you must forget that you were born just to provide sweetness and love, you must forget..." ". how fragile your female nature is and shout "no" to the people selling guns, you must respond to the lies of reactionary prophets of doom with a unanimous voice and shout from the bottom of your motherly and wifely hearts." "Down with war!" "Long live peace!" "She's good!" "I'm going to join." "She certainly has a fine pair of arguments." " But who is she?" " She's the comrade sent along by the Federation yesterday." " So she's staying for a while?" " Apparently." " Let's hope so." "If I said that kind of thing, I bet you wouldn't applaud." "But we're not applauding her, we're applauding her ideas." "Well done comrade, we're proud to have you here with us to re-organize the women's section." "Organize women?" "But since the time of Eve no-one has ever managed to do that, not even the good Lord!" "She'll disorganize the men's section, that's for sure." "You shouldn't underestimate her." "Speculating about peace and the dove has been very successful in the past." "Only Picasso really succeeded." "Clay pigeons make lousy soup whereas my hens will look like turkeys by election day." "It will be a banquet worthy of Peppone's downfall." "Just thinking about it makes me feel hungry." "Not so fast, Reverend, they're not in the pot yet." "Peppone is very well known and you can't say he doesn't have a following." " What does that mean?" "For that matter, he has a following too... of geese." "Carletto, what are you going to be when you grow up?" "A Member of Parliament?" " No, I want to become a priest." " A priest?" "Anyway, don't worry about Peppone there's a huge difference between a mayor and an M. P..." "He'll find out." "Maybe we can give him a push." "I think Don Camillo's right, Peppone will come a cropper." "And, after all, an M.P. Must have a minimum of political experience." " And know something about culture." "I bet he doesn't even know who discovered America." "Christopher Columbus, October 12,1492." " Sphere." " Area:" "The square of the radius times 3.14." "Volume:" "The surface area times the radius, divided by 3." " The specific weight of bronze." " 8.80." " Gold." " 19.35." " Portugal." " 92,000 square kilometers population 8,618,000." "Republic, capital Lisbon." " That's enough." " Well done." "I'll show them, and since the exam is being held here in town no-one can claim that it's been fixed." "Even if it is only the primary certificate, it's tough." "Let's hope he won't be intimidated by the examiners." "I wasn't even intimidated when they pointed machine-guns at me." "The machine-guns weren't testing you on history, geography or arithmetic." "Even Pythagoras' theorem doesn't scare me, but it's not in the exam." " We shall pass." " Good for you, boss." "[The sensational news spread like wildfire through the town.]" "["Have you heard?" "The Red mayor is sitting the primary certificate".]" "[Don Camillo flew into a rage...] [... and when the fatal morning came, he was at the scene of the crime.]" "[He didn't want to miss the chance of seeing Peppone suffer.]" "Stand here:" "You can see everything." "You won't be able to hear much but I'll tell you what goes on." " You keep your ears open you are working for history." "I want to know everything." "Especially what he says and what he doesn't know." " Off you go." " Yes, Reverend." "Here is the problem and the subject of the essay." "Copy them carefully." "Pay attention:" "The tank is hemispherical it has a diameter of 2.6 meters and the water comes out of the tap at 6.27 liters per minute." "Is that clear?" "If not just ask." " No, it's all quite clear." "Fur!" "Fur!" "Come here!" "Fur, stop!" "Home with you, go away!" "And you too." "What can you see?" "Nothing." "Then why are you looking?" "I'd really like to see my Dad sitting the primary certificate." "Why isn't he writing, Don Camillo?" "And why's he chewing his pen?" "He hasn't a clue." "This is going to cause problems." "How can we fail a mayor who's almost an M. P?" " We can't show any favoritism he's like any other exam candidate." " He doesn't know where to begin." "Can't we give him a hand and put him on the right track?" "No, any irregularities could have very serious consequences." "This has to do with politics." "Reverend!" "Reverend!" "It's all right, Reverend." "Whether he's the mayor or not, if he doesn't know, he won't pass." "Reverend, lift me up!" "Reverend!" "Why's he perspiring?" " Is my Dad not well?" " Shh." "(2.6 meters multiplied by 6.27 liters." "No, the area... ) (... of the hemisphere, the volume of the area of the sphere... ) (... the area of the tap, I must keep calm." "The diameter of the liters... ) (... the specific weight of water times 3.14." "Jesus, help!" ")" "Excuse me, Mr. Mayor, someone in the hall wants to see you to ask you to sign a document." "It's a very urgent matter." "Something to do with admitting a patient to hospital." " Where is this person?" " Over there!" " Would you be the patient?" " No, you are." " Listen, I'm sit..." " You've got donkey disease, Mr. M. P..." "You want to become an M.P. And solve the problems in the South of Italy and you can't even solve a simple sum at primary certificate level!" " This has nothing to do with you." "Give me the paper to sign and go to the devil!" "Here you are, Mr. Mayor." "Read it and sign it." "I, the undersigned, Mayor of Brescello, authorize a chapel to be built on the land near the mill." "What is all this about?" "What's the chapel got to do with it?" "Where's the patient?" "There is no patient but prescription's on the back." " What prescription?" "The solution to the exam problem." "Look." " First sign." " Never." "This is blackmail!" "Blackmail?" "No, it's called business." "You give me the building permit and I help you pass your exam." "It was so simple." "I don't know what I was thinking." "I would have managed to work it out anyway." "You ungrateful!" " Don't go, you haven't finished." "Your signature's missing." " What?" "This total here must be divided by two." " By two, why?" "Yes, because it's a hemisphere." "A hemispherical tank." "Got it?" "I'm not completely stupid you know." "And... the essay?" "Who is this damned man I shall never forget?" "Me." "You are not a man, you're a priest!" " If you're a man, I'll see you later outside!" " All right but remember there are two of us:" "First you'll have to fight the man and then the priest will teach you a lesson." " I want to see my Dad again." " And I'd like never to see him again." "Look your Dad's getting on fine now." " ESSAY A MAN I SHALL NEVER FORGET " " COMPOSITION AT THAT TIME... " "[At that time, I was a partisan.]" "[One evening, I and some other partisan friends were ambushed.]" "[They put a hole in our boat, but, in exchange, we wounded many of them.]" "[And, in the end, we won the day.]" "[In fact, Brusco even came back with a prisoner.]" "The other four have had it." "This one's not in very good shape, but let's take him with us." "He might be useful for an exchange of prisoners." "Let's take him to the fisherman's hut." "You stay here with the others, and guard the boat." " All right!" " Perhaps, at the hut we'll find some tools to mend it with." " Yes, boss." "Smilzo, have these." "Water." "Water." "A priest, a priest..." "I must tell him something very important." "The lives of many men are at stake." "Your men, do you understand?" "Your people." " Tell us then." " No." "You would help your own side and harm our side." "I can understand my enemies but I can't betray my friends." "A priest..." "A priest..." "[The wounded man kept on asking, it was clear he wanted the priest...] [... for his own reasons, too, reasons involving eternal peace.]" "[But he'd be lucky." "Going to find a priest...] [... in that situation, was tantamount to committing suicide.]" "[Lt was a crazy thing to do:" "Of course, we had to save our men...] [... but then wouldn't it be simpler to force the prisoner...] [... to confess what he knew by using some persuasive tactics?" "]" "[Having weighed up the situation carefully, I said to my companions:]" "I'm going to find this damned priest!" "[There was a town not far away and, by some miracle...] [... everything went smoothly, until I reached the bridge.]" "[There someone spotted me and let off a burst of machine-gun fire.]" "[I had to sit down on the bank for quite a while.]" "[Then, I reached the town, found the church...] [... and headed cautiously for the priest's house.]" "[I didn't want to frighten the priest so I tapped on the window pane.]" "[There was no answer." "Then, from outside...] [..." "I told him there was nothing to fear, that I was alone...] [... and that I wanted to speak to a priest." "There was no reply...] [... so I decided to try the door again and was surprised to find it open.]" "[I was about to leave, when, suddenly...] [..." "I found a young priest facing me." "He was white with fear and trembling.]" "Hands up!" "[The sight of my weapons...] [... must have terrified him.]" "[He was trembling so violently that he wasn't sure where to put his hands.]" "[He asked me humbly what I wanted.]" "Did you need the skin of a curate for your collection?" " Who are you?" " I'm not a murderer I'm a fighter." "My name's Peppone." "What do you want?" "If a man lay dying and wanted to make confession for his own sake and in order to save some lives, what would you do?" "I would go to see him." "And if going to see him meant risking your neck?" " You had to risk yours to come here?" " Yes." "[The priest was wavering, trying to find excuses why he couldn't come.]" "Then I must risk my neck, too." "Come on!" "[He needed a lot of convincing...] [... and I had to encourage him even more on the way back.]" "[He followed me like a little dog.]" "[When we reached the famous bridge with no cover...] [... and he heard the machine-gun fire, he dug in his heels.]" "[Lt was too hard a test for him.]" "[To make him cross the bridge I had to use force.]" "[He crossed it so fast that I couldn't stop him...] [... until we reached the hut." "In the end, it was just as well...] [... because, otherwise, we wouldn't have got there in time.]" "[The wounded man only had the strength to unload the weight...] [... he had on his conscience.]" "[20 minutes later, the young priest emerged and said that...] [... it was all over." "He didn't have the courage to leave...] [... and we tried to cheer him up with a few words of encouragement.]" "Well, Reverend, may we ask what he had to tell you that was so important?" " No." "Reverend, if he told you anything that could affect our companions you must tell us." "War is war and official secrets and regulations are all very well up to a point." "Reverend, that guy was dying, and even if we'd pointed a machine-gun at his stomach, he couldn't have cared less." "But you're not like that, you are strong and healthy and you care whether you get hurt or not." "Well, have you made up your mind?" "Go ahead and shoot." "What are you waiting for?" "[What had we said wrong?" "Nothing, we were very gentle...] [... and yet we frightened him so much that, we discovered later...] [... he had hurried off to use the prisoner's information...] [... and thus prevented 50 of our men from falling into an ambush.]" "[Poor little priest, I wonder if he still remembers me?" "]" "[I wonder if he died of fear?" "And, if he's still alive, what he's doing now?" "]" "A disaster, Reverend, we're ruined." "He's passed everything with flying colors." "I don't understand how he did it." "Neither do I. Congratulations." "Dad's done it." "Here!" "Here!" "Cluck, cluck, my pretty chickens." "How are your hens, Reverend?" "Very well indeed, Mr. Mayor, for the time being." "Until the day you lose the elections." "Risum abundorum in buccam pretorum." " Good day, Reverend." " Good health to the cultural front." "[Even when he had passed his primary certificate...] [..." "Peppone didn't change." "Thus, despite tactical electoral demands...] [... he was still the same old Peppone.]" "If Bezzi won't yield to gentle persuasion, he may yield to more brutal methods." "What are you waiting for?" "You do not move." "He says he won't give me another extension." " Then we shall get one somehow." " Yes, yes..." "Reverend, I know, the law is on my side but I don't want to go that far." "Tasca's got the Party behind him." "What can we do, Bezzi?" "We can only wait and see." "But I can't wait any longer." "You must help me to persuade Tasca." "Me?" "That Bolshevik will never listen to me." "We need someone to force him out." "Go and see the mayor." "The mayor?" "But he's the leader of Tasca's group." "No, one moment." "The head of the gang is Peppone the mayor is Mr. Bottazzi." "That's different." "Well..." "I don't feel like facing either of them." "Now you go home." "If Bezzi turns up get them to tell him you're not in." " All right." " Good day, Mr. Mayor." " Good day to you." "Do you know Mr. Bezzi?" "He's asked my advice but I've brought him here because it's rather a delicate matter and only the authority and the profound sense of justice of the town's first citizen can help him." "We are here to help, tell me all." "On the feast of St. Martin last year, I bought a small farm..." "Yes, it belongs to the Tronconi, who rent it out as a share-cropper to a certain Romeo Tasca." "I don't know if you know him?" "I was a share-cropper once, but I've made sacrifices and I bought that piece of land." "I must have the right of entry mustn't I?" "But the sharecropper who's living in the farm, Tasca won't leave, even though the deadline passed ages ago." "I see, but what can I do about it?" "You see, I don't want to have to resort to legal measures I would like to sort it out between us amicably." "That's why we've come to see you, Mr. Mayor." "I think you should offer an extension to sharecropper Tasca." "I've already given him two and, after all, I have bought the place and I want to farm it." "It's my right." "Only the workers have rights." "You have decided to become a land-owner." "Sort it out yourself!" "If Tasca doesn't get out, we'll have to consult the authorities." "Here, the only authority I recognize is the people and we are the people." "If that's how things stand, I'm warning you, I'm putting Bezzi under my protection." "Let's go, move!" "It'd be better if you looked after your hens." "My hens?" "They're fine." "They're like you:" "...they're getting nice and fat." "See you soon, no doubt Mr. Mayor." "Get thee hence, Reverend, We'll meet again at Philippo." "At Philippi, Mr. Mayor, Philippi!" "Don't let's get our history mixed up with our geography." "We will not tolerate violence from anybody." "[Peppone knew Don Camillo well and, having seen him leave at top speed...] [... realized that there was no time to waste...] [... and immediately activated the emergency defense plan.]" "[And just as well, because Don Camillo had immediately decided to execute...] [... his own plan, with the aim of launching the offensive...] [... as soon as possible.]" "Here's the boss." "Come on." " Hello, boss." " Hello." " Everything OK." " Fine!" "As soon as they turn the corner, the team must pounce on their bicycles." "They'll come by in a few minutes as if by chance." "What if they arrive on a tractor?" "How will you stop them?" "With those, comrade." "As soon as the team arrives close the bridge with those logs." "They'll have a job passing those!" " They'll have no choice but to stop." " If you ask me, when they realize what's happening, they'll go home." " If they don't, we'll take them home." " Including the priest." " Absolutely!" "We have the honor of having with us a comrade from the Federation who has to report on the activities, of comrades in the provinces." "Boss!" " Boss!" " What's happening?" "In the square, come and see..." " What is this circus?" " You told me to sort it out myself so I did." " Clear off immediately!" "And where am I supposed to take the kids and my wife in this state?" "When you let me occupy my land, I shall leave." "I shall report you for unlawfully occupying public property." "I shall report you for unlawfully occupying private property." "If you don't..." "Good, here comes the priest, now there'll be fun and games." "What's happening, Mr. Mayor?" "Are you setting up a campsite?" "But it's not a very suitable location, rather draughty, don't you think?" "And then, just between ourselves, it attracts a nasty class of people." "Mr. Mayor, in the council chamber..." "A calf?" "Mr. Mayor's had himself replaced." "What?" "[Lt had reached stalemate." "The Bezzi continued to repeat...] [... that they wouldn't move from there and Tasca continued to shout...] [... that he wouldn't leave even if they fired cannonballs at him.]" "[And so the matter got more and more complicated.]" "The marshal went down to the city." "The prefect has apparently served an eviction order on Tasca." "Good!" "It's exactly what we wanted:" "To force the authorities to carry out their duty." " What will the Reds do?" "We're not exactly throwing Tasca out into the street." "He can take over Bezzi's place." "The owner agrees." "Peppone has said he won't give in even if we resort to cannon fire." "His bark is worse than his bite." " If you don't mind..." " Feel free to leave." "Lord, goodness knows what would happen if I weren't here to keep the peace and calm their troubled breasts." "Spicciolo, what do you want?" "You've got the wrong place, This isn't the Kremlin, you know." "Reverend, something's troubling me." " Indigestion?" " No one of those great big things with caterpillar wheels." " A tractor?" " Yes, sort of but there's a cannon on it." " You mean you've swallowed a tank?" "And I can't digest it." "It's a German tank an old one, from '45, when the Germans were retreating." "One of them broke down on the road through Tasca's field." " So what?" " Nothing." "Two Germans got out, and got as far as Tasca's yard they asked for some wine and got drunk." "That's when Tasca did something really stupid." " What did he do?" "Kill them?" " No, at that moment a column of Germans was driving past in retreat." "Tasca stopped a truck, spoke to a Sergeant and told him two of their soldiers were at the farm blind drunk." "The Sergeant collected them, threw them into the truck and left." "I don't understand why you're telling me this story." "Because the tank's still there where the Germans left it, under the twig pile." "What?" "And, naturally, since '45 he's never found a moment to declare it to the military authorities." " It was a souvenir." " A mere trinket..." "Then politics reared its head and we thought that the tank might come in handy at some time." " Listen to him!" "Why confess this to me?" " Who should I confess to?" "The vet?" " You're the curate." " But I'm also a middle heavyweight." "Poor thing, it's taken you a few years to feel remorse." "What remorse?" "The fact is that Tasca can't leave the farm because, if he goes and someone else moves in and discovers the tank, we're ruined." "That's why Peppone is defending the sharecroppers against the owners." "This is what he calls social justice!" "Reverend, that's not all." "There's something else." "What now?" "A submarine?" "Reverend, soon the police will arrive in armored cars and Peppone..." " And Peppone has mined the bridge across the old canal." " Mined it?" "He must be out of his mind!" " When he sees white and green flares go up on the other side of town it means that the armored cars are coming he'll blow up the bridge and Tasca's farm will be cut off." "Lord!" " And where's Peppone?" " He's guarding a mine under the bridge." "I'm guarding the other one on the embankment." " You come with me to defuse the mine!" " I've already done it." "I'm a coward because I've betrayed Peppone but it seemed even more cowardly not to betray him." "Stay here then." "I'll deal with that madman." "No, Don Camillo, where are you going?" "If Peppone sees you he'll blow up the bridge without waiting to see the flares." " Get out of my way!" " Don Camillo!" "Good afternoon, Mr. Mayor." " Get off that bridge." " Why?" " Hic manebitur optime." " Go to hell and take your damned Latin with you!" "The bridge is about to be blown up." "If the bridge goes up, then so will I." " The bridge is mined!" " You get bored unless you use dynamite." "You're not a party, you're a bunch of pyromaniacs." "There you are, what did I tell you?" "Get off the bridge you infuriating priest!" "In a second I'm going to press the lever." "They must not pass!" " Go ahead, Mr. Mayor." " Get off I said!" "Get out of the way!" "Get out of the way!" " Try and get me off if you've got the courage." " I certainly will." "Stop!" "Where are you going?" "Stop!" "You don't know what you've done." "I'm ruined." " You would have been ruined if the bridge had gone up." " Shut up what do you know about my problems?" " I know everything:" "...you're afraid that the police will discover that under the twigs there's a dove of peace which, instead of going "coo", goes "bang"." "It's not true." "If Tasca hid the tank it's because he needed a tractor." "A tractor, yes, for the blind." "Maybe you're right:" "If the bridge had gone up it would have been worse." " Now, God help me." " We've cracked it, Jesus..." "You go and see Tasca." "Tell him he's got to leave in an hour." "I'll go and stop the police." "I have an idea about the tank." " Off you go!" " All right, boss." "[Things went exactly according to plan.]" "[Peppone kicked out sharecropper Tasca." "Don Camillo, having met...] [... the marshal and the police, told them the matter was now solved...] [... and persuaded them to go home.]" "[Then, when night fell, he put Operation "Panzer" into action.]" "Pass me that torch." "Comrade, you give out orders like a capitalist land-owner if you're not careful I'll report you to the Reds!" "If I were your master, you would weigh 20 kg less." "I bet I would, with only draughts to eat." "No, I'd make you work, you only work with your mouth oremus, vobiscum, you don't exactly overdo it in your job." "You be quiet you certainly don't get headaches from overwork, you good-for-nothing!" "You called me a good-for-nothing." "You see?" "Listen, it doesn't sound as if it's been standing still for so long." "The engine's as good as new." "You expect me to believe that?" "All these years you've been tending it like a child getting it ready for the great day!" " That's not true." " I beg you pardon, I apologize." "You obviously wanted to use it for Sunday outings with the family." "But this is the American star!" "It wasn't the Germans retreating, it was the Americans arriving." "Reverend, all sorts of people come and go through Italy." "How can we possibly know who's coming and who's going?" "They all speak foreign languages." "Come on, let's go." "Let's go." "[They set off." "They had a very precise aim.]" "[15 or 20 days later, on the basis of anonymous information, the marshal...] [... would find an old army tank in the hole in Boscaccio...] [... that had lain there forgotten since the war.]" "Stop!" "Stop!" "I said stop!" "Stop!" "What is all this noise?" "A division of tanks?" "No, they're farm tractors, they work at night." "What a bit of luck." "With the noise they're making no-one will hear us." "Let's go, I'll show you the way with the torch." " If you play any practical jokes..." " What will you do to me?" " I'll shoot the cannon at you." " All right." "Straighten up!" "Straighten up!" "That's enough, now follow the road I'll tell you when to turn off to cut across the fields." "All right." "Here we are, get ready to turn." "But there's a house over there, it's not safe." "Well go round it!" "To the right!" "Come on, turn sharp right." "Down the bank!" "What's happened?" " One of the levers has got stuck." " Is it serious?" " No, no..." "I've fixed it." " Thank goodn..." "Oh!" "Go slowly!" "What are you doing, are you mad?" "It's this dumb lever." "It's sticking again." "We're doing fine, we're nearly there." "Today's Friday, I trust you're not eating meat?" "No, Reverend." "Listen, are you starting again?" "Now that's fine." "Yes, but it's better if I climb on board too." "You're not much good as a mayor but you're a jolly good mechanic." " Come on, forward." " Straight ahead?" "Yes, drive into the ditch." "Here." "Turn right now, sharp right." "Down we go!" "Thank God, we've done it." "And all thanks to this good-for-nothing..." "I say, it's a beautiful machine, isn't it?" "The Germans are really ace at making some things." "Especially when they're Americans." "Do you know anything about the insides of these things?" " Yes, yes." " What's that thing there?" "That's the shift, this is the right caterpillar wheel this is the left caterpillar wheel." "And what's this for?" " Which one?" " This one." " This one here?" " Yes." "That's ought to be the thin gummy." "I wonder where it went?" "I'm here." "I wasn't talking about you, I meant the shell." "Do you think they loaded their cannon with mortadella?" " Here's Peppone!" " What delinquents!" " What's happening?" " Look!" "It looks almost as if it's flown off." " Don't talk rubbish." " When I find out who did this..." "It's obvious:" "Some reactionary blew it up with a bomb." "We shall not acknowledge this bloody insult." "Popular indignation will brand this provocation." "I also wish to speak out against the perpetrator of this heinous crime against democracy." " Instead of being indignant it would be better if you didn't throw bombs." "Wretches!" "[With the election now in full swing, the people, woken suddenly...] [... by a scandalous terrorist attack, were unlikely to be in a good mood...] [... and that night it seemed that nothing could be done...] [... to avoid something awful happening." "But then someone shouted...] [... at them to stop, saying that this was no time for argument...] [... and that something very serious was taking place at the Town Hall.]" "That poor little baby would no doubt preferred to have been born in a stable than under the Communist administration." "Oh yes?" "Is it any better being born under Church protection?" "If nothing else, at least the church has a more spacious portico." "[The great day was creeping closer." "Time before the battle was getting short...] [... and contact with the city was becoming ever more frequent.]" "[Instructions and propaganda material had to be procured from head office.]" "[Don Camillo often had to go into town, too and one day...] [... he missed the train home." "He started to walk...] [... trusting his luck to thumbing a ride.]" "Wretches, long live social justice!" "Forgive me, Jesus, it just popped out." "If only you knew how awful it is for a poor priest to have to walk home, corns and all." "But, Mr. Mayor!" "I didn't recognize you!" " Neither did I." " If I'd seen who it was..." " Neither would I!" "Can I get in?" "Excuse me..." "Is this a Russian car?" "Ah!" "The Russians..." "Is this the type of car you hope to give away to the proletariat?" "What fuel does it run on?" "Petrol or electoral promises?" "And how come your secretary isn't with you, Mr. Mayor?" "Did you leave her at home writing your first speech?" "What are you doing?" "Nothing, get out and wait for a car from the Vatican..." "Is there something wrong, Mr. Mayor?" "If the car from the Vatican goes past we could tow you." "Use this." "Look, I feel sorry for you." "Go back there and push, go on." "You push and I'll drive." "I'll drive." "Hey!" "Stop!" "If you wait for a while, the car from the Kremlin will go past..." "Oh!" "Stop." "[But, in fact, that day the car from the Kremlin...] [... had had to take a different route and poor Peppone was furious...] [... partly because the van was full of rather sensitive material.]" "[Lt would not be fair to think that Peppone's ambitions...] [... were as immense as his portrait.]" "[A poster 3 meters by 2 was simply how Peppone evaluated...] [... people's naïveté." "He knew that the bigger they printed...] [... the name of an aperitif, the more people drank it." "Similarly he thought...] [... the larger he made the candidate the more people would vote for him.]" "[In any case, Peppone was sure that under the brand new...] [... dove of peace, that enormous face of his...] [... would have an irresistible effect, and in fact, he was right.]" "Boss, look at that!" "That priest will pay for it this time, you'll see." "[Lt was logical that a joke of this kind could not be tolerated...] [... easily by Peppone and his comrades." "And so...] [... as always happens, when something is mixed up with politics...] [... the farce began to have tragic overtones.]" "Eliminate, I said." "Physically eliminate." "But, boss, you cannot compromise your reputation." "We'll pull the names out of a hat." "Put my name in, too." "Whatever names are pulled out can't back out." "Each must act as he sees fit." "If he gets caught, he must pay for it." "It's his own affair." "The others know nothing about this." "[From then on, ruthless eyes spied on innocent Don Camillo...] [... waiting for the right moment to strike." "That evening Don Camillo...] [... had lingered in church longer than usual and...] [... after a while he fell asleep.]" "[Lt was a fatal error to commit and, in fact...]" "[The man walked with a soft tread." "Every movement he made...] [... betrayed a strong emotion." "He had something hidden...] [... under his cloak, that he would pull out...] [... when the time was right.]" "[When he reached the altar right under where Don Camillo slept...] [... he prepared to conclude the operation.]" "[A minute later people living nearby would hear...] [... a cry which, it must be said, was anything but human.]" "What a strange dream I had, Lord." "I dreamed that I came to offer you a candle and that I came in by the side-door using a picklock, you know, a fake key." "Dreams are really strange sometimes." "Yes, especially dreams that really do bring me candles." " Have I been sleep-walking?" " Look over there, Don Camillo." "It's Peppone's hat." "So it was him with the picklock..." " Don Camillo." " Yes?" "Leave the hat there." "What am I supposed to do with it?" "Leave it on the pew as if he'd left it to keep a place." "One day he'll come back, you'll see." "He'll come back without a picklock and walk in through the main door." "It's a beautiful dream." "[But, meanwhile, things were very different.]" "[Don Camillo realized fifteen minutes later.]" " GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY " "In case you didn't realize, I'll tell you:" "...they've stolen your chickens from under your nose!" "[At that point Don Camillo said a few things aloud...] [... that are best not repeated here." "Fur the dog was partly to blame...] [... but it was a miracle that Don Camillo did not also take it up...] [... with the authorities.]" "What's the matter, Reverend?" "What's happened?" "Well, someone's tricked me." "Listen:" "...when I went into the church at 9, the chickens were here and when I came out again at 11, they'd gone." "Didn't you hear anything?" "Didn't the dog bark?" "How could I hear?" "First I was playing the organ." "Then I fell asleep." "Do you suspect anyone?" "Yes I suspect that someone has pinched my chickens and I won't be able to eat them." "As for you, some guard dog you are from now on, no more bones for you!" "That'll teach you!" "Marshal!" "If it's of any interest to you, at 10.30 we saw a man with a cloak go into the priest's garden." "He came out again at 11 on the dot." "And under his cloak he could have had even more than five hens!" " What did he look like?" " He looked exactly like the mayor." "It was him because, when he came out again, he didn't have a hat I saw him quite clearly." " Don't mention this to anyone." "Can you give me your personal details please." "[Lt was a sad day for Don Camillo:]" "[... the theft of the victory chickens weighed heavily." "He felt defeated.]" "[Though he had his suspicions, he had no definite proof...] [... and now he felt close to frothing at the mouth.]" "[That evening, the secret services brought him some very precious news.]" "[Lt was reliable information:" "The woman had seen it...] [... herself with her own eyes and was willing to testify to the fact.]" "[She knew precisely...] [... where Don Camillo's hens had ended up.]" "I looked in at the window and saw him snoring." "I said, time to act." "But then someone went into the church." " Who?" " Some stupid old bigot." "Boss, you don't want to choke to death over the victory chickens, do you?" "I would give anything to see Don Camillo's face." "Enjoying your meal, my children?" "I have dared to disturb you because I want to speak to the mayor about the nursery school, but he can't give me an answer because his mouth's too full." "On the contrary." "Where better to speak than at table?" "No, sit down would you like the parson's nose?" "Indigestible stuff." "Sold yourself to Moscow, have you?" "That was unfortunate." "No, it wasn't." "Now, during the night he'll explode with rage." " He has no proof against us." " He can't do anything." " That's true." " Chickens are all the same they aren't stamped with a registration number." "There you are, you have some too." "You have some..." "Excuse my disturbing you, Mr. Mayor, but I must discuss an urgent and extremely confidential matter." " I have no secrets from them." "Tell me." "Come in!" "It's about Don Camillo's chickens." "The theft took place between 9 and 11 this evening do you follow me?" " Of course, but what's it got to do with me?" "Everything because you were seen going into the priest's garden at 10:30 and emerging again at 11 on the dot." "It's a damned lie." "I've no doubt..." "That is, you deny going into the priest's garden at 10:30 and coming out again at 11?" " No, I..." "I..." "I deny having stolen his hens." "I believe you." "But then you must tell me what you were doing tonight in the priest's garden." "I have nothing to say, this is a personal matter." "Mr. Mayor, can you at least tell me where those white hens come from?" "I don't keep records of chickens, I'm afraid, ask them." "I shall ask the magistrate." " Good evening, Mr. Mayor." " Good evening, Marshal." "Sounds as if you're in deep trouble, boss." "He's got nothing to do with it." "I stole the hens." "Yes, but they saw me and if you took the blame, they'd say it was a political maneuver." "Anyway, it was my idea..." "Boss, what were you doing in the priest's yard?" "That's my business." "[At election time everything is grist to the mill, even 5 hens.]" "[Peppone's adversaries took advantage of them to create...] [... a scandal and legal proceedings were initiated.]" "[The whole town was present...] [... except Don Camillo." "It was a question of style!" "]" "No, I don't want to go." "No, no, no, I can't go because defeating one's adversary is one thing but acting ferociously is another." "And so Peppone will be condemned." "The seventh commandment says "you must not steal"." "That's what the Gospel says." "Peppone is innocent." "While they were stealing your hens he was here and you saw him." "No, I..." "I didn't see anything." "I was dreaming." "Dreams usually don't forget their hats." "And so..." "So if he was here why doesn't he say so?" "Because no-one would believe him." "Don Camillo, would you let a man be shamed just because he ate a little chicken?" "A little chicken, Lord?" "One little chicken!" "Politically speaking, Lord, one could say that, today those little chickens have become as large as elephants." "They will condemn Peppone and when a man has been condemned, he can't run for M.P. is that clear?" "What do you want?" " A blessing." " Why would you like to see your father sitting a chicken-stealing exam?" "My father's not a thief." "And I wasn't born to sort out your father's stupid mistakes." "Don Camillo!" "Jesus, don't let tiny kids play politics." "Don Camillo!" "For your father's sake, pray that he will not be elected as M. P..." "Hail Mary, full of grace among... among women and blessed is the fruit of your breast Jesus." "Silence!" "Silence or I shall have the courtroom cleared." "The marshal's testimony and statement speak for themselves." "You were caught red-handed with the stolen goods in the sack in the plate actually." "Silence!" "You were not able to explain to the marshal what you were doing between 22:30 and 23." "Do you have anything to say now?" " No." " You don't want to tell us?" "No, I cannot tell you." "It's a private matter." "So you are in the habit of conducting your private matters behind chicken runs?" "Silence, silence!" "Very well." "The testimony requested by the defense has been granted." "Bring in the witness." "You may sit down." "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth." "Say "I swear"." "I swear." "There was something you wanted to tell the court?" "Yes, that, between 10:30 and 11 p.m., while they were stealing my hens the accused, Giuseppe Bottazzi, was with me, in church." "Silence!" "Excuse me, Reverend, but why didn't you say it earlier?" "Everything that happens in church between a priest and his flock is covered by professional secrecy." "Reverend, can I ask what the accused came to do in church at that hour?" "To have singing lessons?" "My son, to come closer to God, the night is as good as the day." "I know, but I don't understand why the accused didn't admit that he went into your garden, and then went into the church." "Politics, Your Honor." "The accused Bottazzi is the leader of the Communists in this area and he comes secretly to church unbeknown to his comrades." "He can't criticize priests all day and then..." "Is that why he came in by the yard?" "Yes, by the side-door." "He can come whenever he wants." "He has the key." "Him a chicken thief?" "With his friends as accomplices?" "They're good god-fearing people every one of them!" "By day they blaspheme to obey the dictates of the Party, but at night they come to ask God for forgiveness, weeping and so I try to console them, I listen to their little problems and afterwards I send them home in peace, with a smile on their lips and give them blessed prayer cards." "Come to think of it that night I forgot to give him a prayer card." "And to say that he really deserved it." "It's St. Barbara, the patron saint of artillerymen." "Good day, Your Honor." "My children..." "Good day." "What's the matter, comrade?" "You've been cleared." "Everything's all right now, isn't it?" "Yes, I'm cleared but ruined." "That damned priest made a laughing-stock out of me." "He made me look like a clown." "You're wrong, comrade, the people really appreciate Communists who get up in the night to go to church." "That priest has earned you some more votes." "[This comrade Clotilde was a woman who...] [... apart from everything else, had a strong character and Peppone was...] [... bewitched by her charm." "A few words from her would cheer him up again.]" "[Beneath his tough exterior, Peppone had a soft, sensitive heart.]" "[Finally, that evening, in response to a precise question put by her...] [... he found the courage to speak to her from his heart.]" "Why have we stopped here, comrade?" "Because I want to ask you a question." " Go ahead." "Comrade do we see this land of ours being fertilized and purified by the proletarian revolution?" "You obviously do see it you're young." " Comrade it's men like you who will lead us to victory the men of your generation men of fifty." " 49." "You represent strength, solidity." "Comrade, I want to confide something to you." " Young people disappoint me." " They disappoint me too, comrade I would like to confide in you now, you see..." " Tell me." " It's rather a delicate matter." " Don't you trust me any more?" "Yes." "I..." " Comrade." " Tell me." "The..." "The sales of the "Unità" are falling." " What's the matter, comrade?" " Nothing's the matter." " No, you're thinking something." " Yes I'm thinking that it's marvelous that the Party can count on men like you, who live only for ideas and in the certainty that victory will finally come." "Come, let's go back, then we can talk about heavy industry and nuclear research in the Soviet Union." "Yes, comrade." "[Of course, not everyone suspected how timid...] [..." "Peppone was, nor did they restrict his obvious interest...] [... in the secretary purely to politics." "In fact, someone...] [... who saw things at first hand, was weighing him up carefully...] [... and attaching increasing importance to the brilliantine that Peppone...] [... had slapped on his hair since the day she arrived.]" "[One evening, Don Camillo saw someone come into church...] [... someone he certainly hadn't been expecting to see.]" "Lord, but it's the mayor's wife she hasn't been here for years." "The last time was for a christening for one of their children." "I wonder what she wants?" "Poor thing!" "Excuse me perhaps I can do something for her." "If I'm not mistaken you're the wife of the new primary school teacher." "I'm not in a joking mood, Reverend." "You know very well I'm the mayor's wife." "I beg your pardon, I thought the mayor's wife was another woman." "A young, dark-haired girl." "You may be joking, but I can tell you I'm suffering." "Since that woman arrived, life's been a torment." "It's not right, comrade, your husband doesn't belong to you any more." "A representative of the people belongs to the people." "You wanted an M.P. For a husband so you must suffer the consequences stoically." "I'm fed up with putting up with things." "I'm leaving him I'll take the bike and leave this very evening." "I'm going back to my own town, to my mother's." "May the Virgin Mary give me the strength to leave my kids." "Please will you light this for me." "One candle for having given her the courage to leave." "And one more to ask you to give her the courage to go back." "Don Camillo!" "Don Camillo!" "Is that you Mr. Mayor?" " Where's my wife?" " Which?" "The old one or the new one?" "She came here, people say they saw her coming in." "If you're referring to the mother of your children, yes she was here, but then she went home." "She's not there now." "She's disappeared." "Look." " NO W YOU HAVE A SECRETARY, YOU NO LONGER NEED A WIFE." "GOODBYE. " "Heavens above!" "When she came I didn't think she was serious." "But she told me she wanted to..." "What did she want?" "What did she want?" "To throw herself into the canal." "Maria!" "Maria!" "Jesus, I said that for his own good." "Maria!" "Maria!" "Maria!" "She's not here." "And neither is the bike." "If someone wants to drown, they get off first." "I wonder where she's gone to jump in?" "Maybe the other bridge." "If she's killed herself, I'll kill myself too." "That's a good idea." "This is no time for joking." "You've no idea what it's like to have a wife." "But I know you still love yours." "Leave this to me, get on." "There she is!" "Yes, that's her." "She's seen us." "Maria!" "Maria!" "Stop, Maria!" "Wait!" "What do you want from me?" " What do you want?" " I don't believe it!" " Leave me alone!" " Come home." "No, I'm fed up with the whole town laughing at me." " Don't talk nonsense." " Nonsense if I got myself a secretary, what would you do?" "But what's it got to do with me?" "It was the Party who sent her." "Come on." "And you can keep her." "Did I marry the Party?" " Come on, let's go, off we go." " When you're an M.P., marry her." " All right..." " If you think I'm going to vote for you to help you become an M.P., you've got another think coming." " I'll wait." " Calm down!" "Calm down." "I'm going to vote for the Church, I swear, for the priests!" "Vote for whoever you want But come home and stop it." "Don't worry, Mrs. Bottazzi, he's not an Honorable Member yet and, as mayor, he doesn't have to change his wife, so..." "Hey!" "What about me?" "This time he really will have to wait for the car from the Vatican!" "[Don Camillo didn't reply." "He was far too happy, he knew...] [... he had achieved his aim, he knew that, after the fright...] [... he'd had that evening, Peppone would merely regard...] [... his secretary as a proud comrade in the struggle...] [... and that he would never slap brilliantine on his hair again.]" "Lord, the ways of Providence are indeed infinite I know, but why did I have to end up on one 22 km long?" "[And another thing consoled Don Camillo that evening.]" "[The vote Peppone's wife had promised was well worth...] [... cycling 30 km, after all, one vote can be of decisive importance.]" " KEEP GOING, BARTALI." "YOU'RE OUT IN FRONT NO W!" "" "[And now we are almost at the end." "The great day was near...] [... by now it was a matter of hours." "The big guns of all the parties...] [... had spoken by now, but Peppone had kept his trump card till last...] [... a card he would play on the eve of the election.]" "[He realized the importance of having the last word, especially...] [... if the word was spoken by an even better orator than himself.]" "Citizens!" "Tomorrow you must all go to the polls to do your duty." "Anyone who doesn't vote, gives votes to the Communists." "Listen to the voice of your conscience." "Remember that, in the secrecy of the polling booth, God is watching." "And Stalin isn't!" "He's still talking..." "Smilzo, go and tell that idiot to stop." "If he doesn't respect our pact, we'll soon sort him out." "Leave it to me, boss." "Isn't there some way of shutting up this Cerratini guy?" "I can't ring the bells like I did last time." "Reverend, it's five o'clock, it's time to switch off the mike." "In Moscow it may be five o'clock." "But in Rome it's ten minutes to five." "We still have ten minutes, 'bye." " Good-bye." " See you later." "Good afternoon, Reverend." "Citizens don't forget:" "Peppone's band is the worst in the land." "Anyone who votes for the dove, digs his own grave." "That's the end." "In a few moments, you will hear the voice of Russia in the square." "But first you'll hear the voice of Peppone." "Citizens, workers before I introduce you to our independent speaker, Mr. Cerratini I want to say a few words to the war-mongering reactionaries in the clergy, and on both sides of the Atlantic, whom we all know well." "To all those black crows who talk about the fatherland..." "Lord, restrain me." "...about sacred borders that are under threat and other nationalist nonsense, we say that we are the fatherland we are the fatherland, the fatherland is the people!" "A people who will never fight against the glorious land of socialism which will bring freedom and justice to our oppressed proletariat." "And you youngsters who end up in those horrid barracks will tell the people who try to arm you and use you for their own filthy interests, you'll say that you won't fight." "You'll tell the people who slander the workers you'll tell those who tell lies about the people..." "You'll tell them that your fathers defended your fatherland from the barbarian invader who threatened its sacred borders and that we of 1899, who fought on Monte Grappa, on the stony ground of the Carso and on the River Piave, are the same men we were then and so, when the cannon thunders it's the voice of the fatherland that is calling us and we shall answer:" "...Present!" " Present!" "And those of us who wear a medal of valor on our chests which we earned on the battle-field will find ourselves fighting beside youngsters and we shall fight always and everywhere and we shall pit our soul against the obstacles and shall defend the sacred borders of Italy against any foe from the West or the East for the independence of this land and with the sole aim of a lasting love of the King and our fatherland." "Long live the Republic!" "Long live the army!" "Don't worry, comrade." "The bourgeoisie love the glories of the past." "They'll give Peppone lots of votes." "Let's hope so." "[By now the great day had passed." "The elections had taken place...] [... and the general results had already been announced." "Peppone's party...] [... hadn't succeeded in obtaining a majority and Don Camillo...] [... who ought to have been overjoyed, was like a cat on hot bricks.]" "They must be out of their minds playing songs instead of telling me how Peppone got on." "Attention please!" "We shall now announce the second list of members elected to the House based on the votes cast:" "...Front for Peace:" "Ward 25, list No.9:" "...Albertoni Marco, Arfù Gino, Vicci Franco, Besolini Walther Bottazzi..." "Lord, Peppone has been elected." "I remember the candle he brought you." "It was a very beautiful candle indeed but if it only takes a kilo of wax to get elected to parliament with a ton of it, Stalin could have become Pope." "Poor Don Camillo, you're so angry that you don't even realize that you're blaspheming." "Forgive me, Lord, it's true." "It was such a severe blow my brain's gone mushy." "I came to retrieve my hat." "You see, Don Camillo?" "I told you he'd come back." "And four of his men came with him." "Whether he came back or not, the fact is:" "He's still won." "Whereas I would say that I've won again." "You've won, he's won, and me, Lord, how do I come out of this?" "Don Camillo, Don Camillo, pretend I didn't hear." "Mayor, M.P., M.P., mayor." "Mr. Bottazzi is the mayor, but Peppone is an M. P..." "He's getting too important, but we'll see." "[The extraordinary council meeting looked like...] [... being very dramatic indeed." "The Opposition had demanded...] [... the mayor's resignation in compliance with the law.]" "[Peppone and his men were ready to defend their position even if...] [... it sparked off a revolution.]" "[So the atmosphere was tense, conflict was in the air.]" "If those pigs in the Opposition insist on his resignation, there will be chaos." "Just look at Filippi, if he touches Peppone we'll make him eat his words, paper and all." "It's obvious what the scoundrels want." "They want to get rid of the mayor." "And a mayor like Peppone irritates them more than anything." "If they ask for his resignation, I'll throw them out of the window." "It's an interesting program." "If you throw them out of the window I'll throw you off the roof." "You must get it into your heads that Mr. Bottazzi cannot harm the country twice first as mayor and then as M. P..." "He must choose, it's the law." " You know what you can do with..." " What?" "Here's Peppone." "We're ready." "They've even sent us threatening letters." "Before we begin this session, I would like to make a declaration." "Tomorrow morning..." "Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for Rome and, in the course of the day I intend to resign as mayor." "That is what I have decided, in compliance with the law." "Is the Opposition satisfied?" "The Opposition would be much more satisfied if you had decided to stay on as mayor." "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "[For the first time the Opposition received applause...] [... from the councilors of the majority and the crowd of Red supporters.]" "[And there the session ended, because everything that had to be said...] [... had already been said." "Peppone was able to go to bed...] [... and re-charge his batteries for the long journey the next day.]" " Good morning." " Good morning lads." "Hello boss." "When you have a wife and kids, you don't go off being an M. P..." "Bye!" "Bye, Dad." "Bye." "Bye, Dad." "Bye." " BRESCELLO TO WN COUNCIL " "Good-bye, Mr. Mayor!" "Well, what's up?" "This feels more like a funeral procession." "You know how it is, boss, after all these years working together, we're sorry to see you go." "Sentimentalism is a bourgeois attitude unworthy of the proletarian spirit." "Good-bye, boss." "Oh, it's you, comrade!" "My mission is finished, I'm returning to headquarters in Rome." " NO TURNING BACK " "What are you doing here?" "What do you want?" "I have never forgotten that you came to say good-bye to me when I went into exile." "Now you are leaving." "I'm not going into exile." "I'm leaving because I've won, not because I've lost." "You've lost your wife, who voted against you you've lost your town, where you were somebody what have you won?" "You'll become anonymous a ball to be tossed into an urn." " I shall always be what I am." " Oh yes?" "Well, when you take your seat in a huge hall, like you did at school, you'll think about all the things you left behind in this town." "You'll think about what you could see from the window every morning while you were shaving." "You'll think about your work at the garage and the fun you used to have on Sundays and you'll even think about me." "I'll no longer be there to give you a kick in the pants when you deserve it, at least once a day." "When I get back I'll pulverize you." "You already know you'll never come back and I can't even say "See you again soon, Peppone" only "Good-bye, Honorable Member"." "Porter!" "Porter!" "There he is!" "Did you call, Honorable Member?" " No, Mr. Mayor will do." " Oh, good." "Let's go." "No, thank you, the service is free of charge." "No, take this 5,000 lire note, sir." "Oh..." "[And so the eternal contest began all over again, with each one...] [... trying desperately to be first.]" "[However, if one lagged behind, the other would wait for him...] [... and so they continued their long journey together...] [... towards the finishing-line of life.]"