" Good morning, Warden." " Tom." "Is that Elwood Blues?" "Yes, sir." "Released yesterday." "Did you tell him about Jake?" "No, sir." "I thought you told him." "I'm sorry." "Listen I work for a friend of yours." "Who's that?" "Your old drummer, Willie." "I dance at his club." "He heard you were out and asked me to get you." "He said he'd give you a job." "Matara, could you drop me off here?" "What can I do for you?" "Sir, how much would that full-sized Ford police package run me?" "Get yourself $500 and come back to see me." "Okay, sir." "That's a nice car." "I'll save it for you." "Thanks." "I wasn't sure you would come, Elwood." "A letter from you is like a command, sister." "You know that." "Actually, it's Mother Mary now." "That's a promotion, isn't it?" "I was sorry to hear about Jake." "Yeah, well I guess he's in a much better place." "Where is Curtis?" "Curtis has gone on as well, Elwood." "I'm sorry." "So that's why he stopped writing me." "He was very upset when the orphanage closed." "Curtis was the closest thing to a dad Jake and I ever had." "He gave us the music." "The Lord works in mysterious ways, Elwood." "We must go on and fight the good fight." "The orphanage is gone, Jake's gone, Curtis is gone." "I got no brother, no roots, no life." "I got nothing!" "Young man you were not taught and raised by me to fold at the slightest whiff of adverse circumstances." "Now quit your silly moping, pull yourself together and snap out of it!" "But..." "But nothing!" "Wise up!" "Turn your heart to the Creator." "You are so quick to despair." "You are not the only person in the world who has had tragedy in their lives." "Did you know that Curtis had a son?" "Curtis had a son?" "Before Curtis came to us at St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud he had a musical group that toured juke joints in the Midwest." "In one town, Curtis had an affair with a married woman." "Go, Curtis." "I mean, that's terrible." "That's what I thought you meant." "The woman became pregnant and decided to stay with her husband never telling him that the boy child wasn't his." "Curtis was devastated." "He came to us as a custodian and spent the rest of his life caring for little orphans like you." "That's a beautiful story." "Wait a minute." "If Curtis had a son that guy would be kind of like my stepbrother." "I have a family." "Curtis stayed in touch with the boy's mother." "He sent his paycheck every week." "Where is this boy now?" "He's a grown man now, and doing quite well." "He's in the city." "His name is Cabel Chamberlain." "Cabel Chamberlain." "He knows nothing about Curtis." "You are not to tell him." "I wouldn't say anything." "Do you know anything about mentoring?" "No." "What about it?" "I'd like you to meet someone." "Sister, would you send Buster in here?" "Wait a minute." "Thank you." "Come in, Buster, and sit down." "Elwood, say hello to Buster." "Hi." "How ya doin'?" "Buster, say hello to Elwood." "Hi." "How ya doin'?" "The kid's a wiseass." "Shit!" "What did you say?" "I said, what a sweet kid." "That's more like it." "Now, here's my proposal." "Buster is a ward of the State." "Due to lack of space, the archdiocese is housing homeless children here at the hospital." "What's that got to do with me?" "I thought you could come and spend time with Buster." "Why don't you take Buster to the library?" "You know, I've been jacked around..." "The library." "No problem." "See you in two hours, boys." "Here's the deal." "You wait here." "I'll come back for you with the car." "Do you have a car?" "I'm working on it." "Chicago." "Cabel Chamberlain." "Thanks for the ride." "Kid, are you stalking me?" "What are you, fifteen?" "Seventeen?" "I'm ten." "Ten?" "I know what that's like." "You're lonely, searching for a place in life." "Don't blow it like I did." "Stay away from drugs, gangs, cyber porn and you could be President some day." "But I don't want to be President." "I'm busy." "I got kind of a brother in there." "He must be in trouble." "Besides, you don't want to hang around with some over-forty recidivist." "Now scram." "A Mr. Elwood J. Blues is here to see you." "Yes, sir." "Commander Chamberlain's office is on the 12th floor." "He's expecting you." ""Commander" Chamberlain?" "How can I help you, Mr..." "Blues." "Elwood J. Blues." "Could you take off your hat and glasses in my office?" "Okay, you can put your glasses back on." "What exactly is the nature of your visit here, Mr. Blues?" "Well, it's like this." "I used to be in a band called The Blues Brothers." "So?" "With a partner whose name was Jake Blues." "Go on." "And you are our long-Iost brother." "Mr. Blues I am an only child." "But your real father was like a real father to me, too." " My real father?" " Yeah, Curtis." "Have you noticed that I am African-American?" "That's okay." "So was Curtis." "See, your mother and Curtis had an affair which produced a little boy." "That's you." "My father passed away 14 years ago." "He was a full-bird colonel in the U.S. Air Force." "My mother now lives in Phoenix, Arizona and a more honorable, sweet-tempered and goodly woman does not exist." "I'm not making any moral judgments." "But one can project what might have happened." "Your mom, young her husband in the military." "Often away from home which may have pushed her to reach out stray from the nest." " That's enough." "Just a minute please." "Hi, Ma." "It's me, Cab." "Listen, I have a gentleman here who's telling me some story about a man named Curtis." "What?" "Right." "So, what precisely do you want from me?" "Seeing as we're kind of stepbrothers I thought you could help me out." "How?" "I need $500 for this car." "I thought maybe you could loan me the money." "Or..." "Or what?" "I want to put the band back together." "You could join us." "I am a commander in the Illinois State Police." "I enjoy my job." "You waltz in here telling me that I have a dead white criminal brother, who was in a band, which the last time they played anywhere were charged with grand larceny reckless endangerment, felonious motor vehicle assault over 700 violations of the Highway Traffic Act and damages, both public and private in excess of $24 million." "And you are asking me if I want to join this band?" "I could show you all the moves." "Get the hell out of my office, right now!" "I think you need a hug." "And don't ever come back here again!" " Are you okay?" " Yeah." "He dropped this." "The Lord works in mysterious ways." "Four five hundred dollars." "Thank you, sir." "This your boy?" "He's..." "I'm his associate." "Yeah, that's who he is." "Lucky you came today." "I'm selling the place tomorrow." "Why?" "I'm going to New Orleans to try out a new career." "Good luck, Mr. Gasperon." "Good luck to you, Mr. Blues." "Mother Mary, we've done two bed checks searched the grounds and we can't find him." "Who?" "Buster." "He's missing." "Elwood!" "Have you seen my wallet?" "It smells like dog shit in here." "Don't say "shit," kid." "You don't need that shit, kid." "Elwood." "It's me." "Matara." "Yeah, right." "Mack." "Look who's here." "Elwood Blues." "From Willie's old band." "Is this your son?" "Well, he's..." "I'm hungry." "Come on, let's get you something to eat." "Willie's in the office." "What would you say to my putting the band back together?" "I'd say I've got a good business here and I'm not going back to jail." "You're saying you don't miss it?" "That's right." "You know you miss the music." "No pharmaceutical could equal the rush you get when the band grooves." "People are dancing and shouting." "The house is rocking." "Sir?" "Yes, Elizondo?" "Found your wallet." "Let's see badge, license, credit cards." "Just the cash is missing." "Where was it?" "Turned in to lost-and-found in a paper bag with this note." "I want a felony theft warrant put out on Elwood Blues." "I want this guy." "Now." "What did he mean, calling you his "little brother"?" "Right away, sir." "Good evening, welcome to Willie's." "Illinois' most elegant establishment for entertainment, erotica and ecdysia." "Now, four young women currently studying medicine and paleontology at Northwestern University." "Tia, Sandrah, Devon and Carla." "Here they are, The Roommates!" "The band, the girls and I, want to do a song for you." "A little Mack Rice cover." "You married men better stay tied up, because it's cheaper to keep her." ""It's cheaper to keep her" ""It's cheaper to keep her" ""When your little girl makes you mad" ""You get an attitude and pack your bag" ""Five little children that you're leaving behind" ""You're gonna pay some alimony or do some time" ""It's cheaper to keep her" ""Too much to leave that little girl" ""It's cheaper, it's cheaper" ""If you decide to roam" ""And leave your happy home" ""You got to pay the house note" ""The child support, your insurance" ""Alimony, mortgage one, mortgage two" ""It's cheaper to keep her"" "What was that?" "Strong-arm shit." "Protection payment." "You know." "This time it's Russians." "But if I pay them, they leave me alone." "That's not right." "No shit." "If I could only figure out what Elwood's game is." "Why did he come to see you?" "To borrow $500 and ask me to join his band." "Well, he got his $500." "What instrument do you play?" "How about a big hand for our gorgeous, professional lady dancers?" "Where's Willie?" "Visiting his ailing stepfather." "Why?" "The Russians are here to see him." "I'll handle it." "Where's Buster?" "In the office, sleeping." "Good evening, gentlemen." "Mr. Hall has been unavoidably detained." "He may be a trifle late." "May I buy you a drink?" "Mack." "Got a minute?" "Don't forget our deal now, Elwood." "You can stop worrying." "Those Russians won't be back." "Those guys are bad mothers, Elwood." "Serious shit." "They kill people." "They kill people?" "Try to understand." "Those goons are orphan remnants of the post-perestroika Soviet secret police who twisted the well-intentioned, original Marxist-Leninist doctrine using state security, which was corrupted by Beria in the '30s." "Once a mass populace is coerced into such behavior a radical shift, like glasnost, produces guys like headless automata who continue the brutish measures to which their genes were programmed since the fall of the Romanovs." "That's great." "I feel much better." ""Stay away from Willie's." "Signed, the Masked Avenger."" "Now, a very special treat, our own bartender, Mack McTeer, will perform for you tonight." "Now, come on." "Elwood." "What are you doing?" "I'm sorry." "I promised the guy." "It'll never happen again." ""I'm all alone and fancy-free" ""But that ain't the way I want to be" ""Now girls, get your game up tight" ""We're gonna have a wing-ding-doodle tonight" ""For right now I'm lookin' for a fox" ""I'm lookin' for a fox" ""Tonight the sky's the limit" ""I got some money and I'm gonna spend it" ""It's Saturday night and I wanna play" ""I'm gonna groove till the break of day" ""I'm lookin' for a fox" ""Not a brand new pinstripe suit of clothes" ""Big wide polka-dot tie" ""Cuff links as big as jaybird eggs and look at that" ""Shoes made out of alligator hide" ""Wanna see somethin' else here?" ""I'm ripe and ready and I'm hot to trot" " "Boy, you on fire - "You know you can get anything I got" " "Two take for two - "I got the money if you got the time" " "We open all night - "All you gotta do is give me a sign" ""I'm lookin' for a fox"" "Mack, you know something?" "You can sing, man." "Everyone please leave now!" " Where's Buster?" " I don't know." "Gas!" "Come on!" "Hurry!" "Elwood!" "You okay?" "The girls get out?" "Yeah, everyone's fine." "Matara, thanks for everything." "Time to go." "They have automatic weapons." "Look in the glove compartment." "Carpet tacks." "They have guns and we have carpet tacks." "They're not carpet tacks." "They're dry-wall nails." "Roll down the window." "Dump the nails." "The Lord works in mysterious ways, Mack." "What do you mean?" "If not for those Russian gangsters and you helping me I wouldn't have seen you sing." "You're good." "Thank you, Elwood." "Since the Russians torched Willie's club, he'll need a job." "You'll need a job." "I'll need a job." "So, you'll join the band, then we'll all have jobs." " Follow me?" " Sure." "What band?" "Lieutenant." " Elizondo." " Find anything?" "No bodies, but lots of gunfire." "Find the club owner?" "Not yet." "Wait." "You better see this." "Matt." "You finally sell that demonstrator?" "Check this funky car coming in." "I got a weird vibe." "The suit's real neat, but do I have to wear the hat?" "These are unsophisticated men." "They only respond to fear and the draw of lucre." "We elicit this by using iconographic symbols and psychological intimidation." "The way we look together presents a uniform image of strength and organization." "Don't say anything." "Look mean." "No smiling." "Good to see you." "Even though that last gig was a nightmare." "Boys, meet my new partner in the act, Mighty Mack." "Mack, "Blue Lou" Marini, Matt "Guitar" Murphy." "Mighty Mack." "So, what's this about?" "Putting the band back together." "You can't mention that here." "She's back from lunch." "Elwood." "Ma'am." "Sorry to hear about Jake." "Thank you, ma'am." "Who's this?" "My new partner, Mack McTeer." "Pleased to meet you." "Matt, can I speak to you privately?" "Sure, baby." "When you got out of prison, you said, "No more Blues Brothers."" "Yes, I did." "We've built up a good business using the cash from the sale of the coffee shop to start this Mercedes dealership." "What's wrong with you?" "And I keep your pathetic friend on even though he hasn't sold a car in over two years." "Yes, you have, and no, he hasn't." "You talk straight with me." "I always do." "And treat me with respect at all times." "I do, baby." "You know what I mean when I say respect?" ""What you want, baby I got it" ""What you need" ""you know I got it" ""All I'm asking" ""is for a little respect when you come home" ""Hey, baby" ""When you come home" ""I ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone" ""I ain't gonna do you wrong 'cause I don't wanna" ""All I'm asking" ""is for a little respect when you come home" ""Baby, when you come home" ""Just a little bit" ""I'm about to give you all my money" ""And all I'm asking in return, honey" ""Is to give me my profits when you get home" ""Your kiss is sweeter than honey" ""and guess what so is my money" ""All I need is just a little respect from you" ""when you get home, baby" ""Just a little bit" ""R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me" ""R-E-S-P-E-C-T take out the T-C-P" ""Sock it to me" ""Yeah, baby" ""Sock it" ""I don't want much" ""Sock it to me" ""Baby, I'm telling you" ""A little respect, oh yeah" ""Give it to me all over the world" ""I get my respect" ""Yes, I do, it's an everyday thing" ""I'm telling you it is" ""Wherever I go" ""All over the world I need respect" ""Yes, I do" ""I deserve respect"" "Listen, Matt." "You ain't all of that, cat." "And Elwood, you ain't no good." "Matt, this is something I really don't want you to do." "For heaven's sake, if this is what you'll be like to live with, go ahead." "Thanks, baby." "Let's go." "Elwood you boys, please stay out of trouble this time." "Dunn and Cropper, WEXR." "Chicagoland talk radio." " This is Dunn and Cropper." " Cropper and Dunn." "On WEXR, 103.7 talk radio." "Today's topic:" "Automatic life terms for three-time felony offenders." "Let us hear your opinion." "You're on the air." "I am not in favor of this triple felony legislation." "Why?" "I'm a recently released inmate, starting a new life but with a five-felony record..." "I think I know that voice." "What chance do I have if I make one more mistake?" "One more time, I could go down for life." "It's not fair." "My question is, how can you goddamn shit-spewing media sluts..." "Thank you." "Now a commercial." "Steve, that sounded a lot like..." "Elwood J. Blues." "No place to run." "And no place to hide." "I know your trumpet player's a funeral director now." "But cemeteries give me the creeps." "He'll be the most difficult." "Follow my lead." "Lay to rest Nicholas Tsetsevkaya." "A young man cut down too soon by violent enemies." "Will you get lost?" "Do you know who these people are?" "Who's he?" "What's with the monkey?" "That's my associate, Buster Blues." "This is Mighty Mack, my new lead singer." "So, that's what this is about?" "Forget it." "Goodbye." "Mr. Fabulous when should we come back for the rings and watch off the corpse?" "And is the medical school buying his dick?" "We're dead now." "Since I've been working for Ed and Mr. Pickett, I haven't looked back." "These guys are amazing." "What do you want, Elwood?" "I'm putting the band back together." "We need Murph on the keyboards." "I see." "I won't go without your say-so." "Murph says you're in publishing, telephone sales and matrimonial services?" "Yes, we are." "Just what is it that you do exactly?" "I'm 18 years old." "I'm blonde." "I'm 36-24-36, and my name is Bambi." ""If you need a little lovin'" ""Call on me" ""If you want some kissin'" ""Call me, baby" ""I'll be right home" ""All you got to do is pick up the telephone" ""And dial now" ""634-5789" ""That's my number" ""If you need some huggin'" ""Call on me" ""If you want some kissin'" ""Call on me, baby" ""No more lonely nights" ""We'll be alone" ""All you got to do is pick up the telephone And dial" ""634-5789" ""That's my number" ""Oh, I'll be right there" ""Just as soon as I can" ""If I be a little bit late" ""I hope that you'll understand" ""If you need a little lovin'" ""You can call on me" ""If you want some of my kissin'" ""Call on me" ""No more lonely nights" ""We will be alone" ""All you got to do is call me on the telephone" ""And dial" ""That's my number, baby" ""That's our number" ""You can reach the Love Exchange" ""Call Ed's Love Exchange"" "Charlie, would I lie to you?" "Charlie, take it easy." "That's all in the past." "He hung up on me." "A lot of burnt bridges, Mr. Blues." "I know you can book us somewhere." "You're still the best." "Ever hear of Queen Moussette?" "The Louisiana witch, Queen Moussette?" "That's her." "She has a "Battle of the Bands" going on at her club." "Big cash prize." "Your band wins, I get 15 percent of the take." "I'll book you a couple of gigs on the way to Louisiana." "Golly, thanks, Mr. Sline." "Let go of me." "Sorry." "One more thing." "You'll have to audition for Queen Moussette." "Don't tell the boys about this." "We'll call to find out where our first gig is." "Just be careful, Elwood." "Alan Rubin." "Mr. Fabulous." "Mr. Fabulous." "The Blues Brothers Band." "You're going to love them." "They're absolutely sensational." "Really sensational." "They're a great blues band." "Yeah, blues band." "No, blues, not bluegrass." "You don't want a blues band?" "Bluegrass." "They're the Bluegrass Brothers." "They're wonderful." "They absolutely pulverize an audience." "You're going to call and thank me." "The Bluegrass Brothers." "Our first date is at the county fair in Cynthiana, Kentucky and then we have this mystery gig in Louisiana." "Mystery gig?" "Elwood, you got the keys to the trunk?" "It's full." "I haven't played a county fair since '68." "Sounds like a lot of laughs." "We're back on the road again." "Who are you, Willie Nelson?" "I'll ride with Elwood." "Go right ahead, Mr. Thrill-Seeker." "Excuse me, sir." "Didn't you used to be Elwood Blues?" "Who's asking?" "I've listened to your stuff since I was a kid." "Yeah, so?" "My friends and I have a band." "We're rehearsing nearby." "It would be so cool, and mean so much to me, if you'd come listen to us play." "Sure." "Go get started and I'll be there in a minute." "Great." "Let's highball!" "Mr. Blues?" " It's been almost seven days, Mother Mary." " We must call the police." "Kidnapping is a federal offence." "I suppose you're right." "We should call the police." "Sir." "We just received a call." "Elwood Blues has kidnapped a child." "Roachdale 31." " Wait." " I got a cheeseburger cooling, man." "Buster, I'm sorry, you'll have to see a bad side of me." "Mack, your shaving cream." "So none of you are driving that Ford?" "No." "And whose dry white toast is that?" "Run for your lives!" "My God, help us!" "Somebody help us!" "He's having an attack!" "It's puffball bacteria!" "It's extremely contagious!" "What in Sam Hill?" "Run away!" "Oh, God!" "It's puffball bacteria!" "It's contagious!" "Save yourselves!" "Save yourselves!" "Save yourselves!" "Save yourselves!" "Hot damn." "That's quite a trick." "That white trash ex-con invented criminally evasive driving." "He kidnapped a little..." "Get after him!" "Murph?" "Go ahead." "See you at the gig." "Where is the gig?" "County fairgrounds, off Route 107, Cynthiana, Kentucky, 11 PM tomorrow." "See you there." "How will he get there with all the cops after him?" "Wait a minute." "Don't I know you boys from somewhere?" "Check, please." "We have to get off this road." "They've called ahead by now." "Two miles down, get off this and on County Road 245 to Mariah Hill." "That'll get us close to the State line." "We have to lose them first." "You passed the turn." "I know." "You're hoping they lost interest?" "This is Agent Peters and Agent Bowman, FBI." "Good to have you here." "Elwood Blues is a menace to decent people." "We'll get him, sir." "That's a promise." "Every lawman in two states is on this border." "Let him try to get past this roadblock." "Roll up your windows." "How long can we stay down here?" "How long can you hold your breath?" "Am I right?" "Yes, sir." "I said, am I right?" "Yes, sir." "I can't hear you!" "Yes, sir!" "You may think we're just a group of sorry son-bitches out here jerking each other off." "Or you may just think that we know something." "I'll tell you something else." "The federal government has a computer." "This computer is wired to a computer in Jerusalem and Moscow." "There's something in the river." "Where?" "I saw something under the water, sir." "Son it's okay to be nervous." "There are enough explosives in that boat to blow up every post office in the country." "But nobody knows we're here." "Nobody knows our plans." "You guys having a picnic?" "Don't shoot!" "You might hit the boat!" "What boat?" "That's the international Jewish, communist conspiracy in action, people." "One of their spy satellites picked up our location." "Kill them!" " Did you hear something?" " Nope." " You sure they'll come?" " They're booked here." "They'll come." "More stunts coming up and only 20 minutes until the wonderful Bluegrass Brothers." "These will make us look a lot more bluegrass." "I'll fake some fiddle on my keyboard." "We go on after the last car stunt." "How will Elwood, Mack and the kid get to the stage with all the police around?" "I like the car this color." "It's temporary camouflage, that's all." "All right." "Go on." "Lots of heat here." "Maybe we ought to skip this gig." "That would be unprofessional." "Park it somewhere dark." "Now the Devil Drivers' star, Rick Avery does the triple-ramp loop through the ring of fire!" "Now the county fair is proud to present tonight's musical entertainment the Kentucky Bluegrass Brothers!" "What's with the hats and beards?" "You look like ZZ Top." "Sline booked us in here as a bluegrass band." "Thank you so much, and howdy." "Howdy!" "Howdy." "Howdy!" "Good to see your smiling faces." "We'd like to see you a little bit closer." "Come on down out of the stands." "Come close to the stage." "Bluegrass?" "Riders." "Duck, mountain tempo in A minor." ""That old cowpoke went ridin' out one dark and windy day" ""Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way" ""When all at once a mighty herd of red-eyed cows he saw" ""A plowing' through the ragged skies" ""And up a cloudy draw" ""The ghost herd in the sky" ""Their brands were still on fire and their hooves were made of steel"" "Excuse me." "Step aside." "Take your men behind the stage." ""A bolt of fear went through 'em as they thundered through the sky" ""For they saw the riders comin' hard" ""And they heard their mournful cry" ""Ghost riders in the sky" ""Their faces gaunt, their eyes were blurred their shirts all soaked with sweat" ""They're ridin' hard to catch that herd but they ain't caught 'em yet" ""'Cause they got to ride forever in that range up in the sky" ""On horses snorting' fire" ""As they ride on hear their cry" ""Ghost riders in the sky"" "Step aside!" "Comin' through!" "Excuse me." "Thank you!" "Everyone into the Bluesmobile!" "Stop them!" "Elwood!" "We'll get them, sir." "Sline says their next job is at a place called Queen Moussette's." "Queen Moussette's." "That's it." "She's bone dry." "I'd like to be." "Let me out." "Where are we?" "Five miles north of Panther Burn, Mississippi." "What's the plan?" "We start walking." "What's the point?" "I say we turn around." "Elwood." "I think we got a rebellion on our hands." "What do you mean?" "Why don't you give them a motivational speech?" "So, you all want to quit?" "Honestly, who can blame you?" "I've dragged you down as far as living humans can go." "All right." "Fine." "'Bye." "I understand." "So, what happens now?" "I don't know." "I guess it's over." "Go away, kid." "You're not being a very good mentor." "I ain't your mentor." "I don't even know what it means." "Just do me a favor and go away." "You're not the Elwood Blues I know." "The Elwood I know once said:" ""No pharmaceutical drug could equal the rush you get..." ""...when the band grooves, people are dancing, shouting..." ""...and the house is rocking."" "Yeah, that was me." "The music." "You know you miss the music." "Thanks, Buster." "Go if you wish." "Remember this." "Walk away now and you walk away from your skills, your vocations leaving our youth with nothing but digitally-sampled techno grooves quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo songs of violence-laden gangster rap acid pop and saccharine, soulless slush." "Depart now and you separate yourselves from the vital legacies of Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Willie Dixon Jimmy Reed, Memphis Slim, Blind Boy Fuller Louis Jordan, Little Walter, Big Walter, Sonny Boy Williamson One and Two Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Presley and Robert K. Weiss." "Who is Robert K. Weiss?" "Turn your backs and you snuff out the fragile candles of blues, RB and soul." "When those flames expire, the light of the world is extinguished because the music which has moved mankind for seven decades will wither and die from abandonment and neglect." "Shit." "Go ahead, cats." "I'll get gas." "Hey, look." "A circus." "It's a tent-revival meeting." "Excuse me." "Who's preaching the good word today, ma'am?" "The Right Reverend Cleophus James from Chicago." "Of the Triple Rock Baptist Church?" "From Chicago." "That's right." "I know him." "He'll give us gas money." "We'll meet you guys inside." "Okay, thanks." "Keep an eye on them." "Wait for us to arrive." "That was the Sheriff in Panther Burn." "The Blues gang is at a revival meeting." "Good." "Now, all you people of the faith are you ready for the word?" "Are you ready for the word?" "Are you ready for the word?" "Let us begin with a sweet song of meditation from our own Reverend Morris and the Tent-Revival Choir." " "Who's that writing?" " "John the Revelator" ""He wrote the book of the seven seals" ""Yes, tell me who's that writing" ""John the Revelator" " "Tell me who's that writing - "John the Revelator" ""Tell me who's that writing" ""John the Revelator wrote the book of the seven seals" ""God walked down a hill one day" ""Called Adam by his name" ""Adam wouldn't answer" ""'Cause he was naked and ashamed" " "Tell me who's that a writing - "John the Revelator" ""Tell me who's that a writing" ""John the Revelator wrote the book of the seven seals" ""You know Christ" " "Twelve apostles - "Spirit willing" ""Three he led away" ""He said, 'Watch with me while I walk" ""For I go yonder and pray'" ""Listen when Christ rose" ""On Easter mornin'" " "Mary and Martha came down to see - "The resurrection" ""He said, 'Go and tell my disciples" ""To meet me in Galilee'" " "Yes, who's that writing?" " "John the Revelator" ""Who's that writing?"" "Stop the music." "Those men are under arrest." " It's Reverend Cleophus!" " Preach the word!" ""He who is without sin cast the first stone."" "Amen!" "Say it again." "You tell him, Reverend." "For are not all men alike in their boundless capacity for sin?" "Yes!" "Can you not forgive?" "Yes!" "Can you not embrace those who have wronged you?" "You get on your knees and pray, "Oh, Lord, forgive me."" "But you won't forgive your brother, who you see every day." "Look to yourself for the redemption you seek!" "And acknowledge your own precious blood." "Acknowledge your own precious blood!" "I want you to invoke its calling in the blessed name." "Invoke the calling of the blood." "Invoke the calling of the blood." "Invoke the calling of the blood!" "Invoke the calling of the blood!" "Invoke the calling of the blood." "The calling of the blood." "Yes." "I understand." "I totally, absolutely..." "This is my God-given destiny!" " "Tell me why I'm shouting - "John the Revelator" ""Wrote the book of the seven seals" " "Tell me what I'm shouting - "John the Revelator" ""Wrote the book of the seven seals" " "Tell me why I'm shouting - "John the Revelator" ""John the Revelator wrote the book of the seven seals" " "Tell me what I'm shouting - "John the Revelator" ""Wrote the book of the seven seals" ""The revelation of Jesus" ""I thought I was a policeman" ""The revelation of Jesus" ""An officer of the law" ""The revelation of Jesus" ""But then I had a revelation" ""Because of what I saw" ""The revelation of Jesus" ""My life was so easy" ""Everything was black and white" ""But now I see all the colors" ""All of the day and all the night" ""Jesus" ""I thought Elwood was funny" ""Peculiar, just plain odd" ""But now I see that he's brought me" ""Closer and closer to my God" ""My outlook was always so gloomy" ""My day was dull and gray" ""But now I see very clearly" ""Oh, happy day" ""Jesus"" "They've brainwashed the commander!" "Get them!" "Get to the Bluesmobile!" "Let's move." "Come on!" "I get it, Elwood!" "This is my calling." "The calling of the blood!" "Look!" "Stop!" "Don't look back." "Look out!" "Did we get them?" "This is what I should be doing!" "All of us!" "Music, song, dance." "That's why the military and police exist." "To protect the artists of the world." "If we can just win the "Battle of the Bands."" ""Battle of the Bands"?" "We have to audition first." "Fine!" "Audition." "We'll slay them." "At least we're safe now to do what we do in peace and comfort." "Blues Brothers Band." "Blues Brothers Band." "What the hell is this place?" "It's where we audition." "The Plantation Club." "Queen Moussette's." "So that's why all the mystery." "Yeah, she's a cannibal." "The biggest, ugliest, meanest voodoo witch." "She's 130 years old." "She's a 130-year-old voodoo witch who eats people?" "The Lord works in mysterious ways." "What if we fail the audition?" "Queen Moussette will receive you now." "Queen Moussette." "You said she was old and ugly." "Lxnay on the ugly-nay." "Your Majesty the Blues Brothers Band." "You remove your hat and show respect." "I like that." "Arise." "Thanks, Queen." "So you wish to enter the "Battle of the Bands" contest?" "We wish to win the first prize." "You must qualify." "Yes." "You must audition for me." "Where are your instruments?" "Well, ma'am, you see, there was this kind of a..." "Never mind." "Is there anything in particular you would like to hear, Your Highness?" "Yes." "Do something Caribbean." "Ma'am, we're the Blues Brothers." "We do blues, rhythm and blues jazz, funk, soul, we can handle rock, pop, country, heavy metal, hip-hop, rap, Motown, operetta and show tunes." "In fact, we've even been called upon to do a polka." "However, Caribbean is a type of music which has not been, nor ever will be in this band's repertoire." ""Nassau's gone funky" ""Nassau's gone soul" ""We've got a doggone beat now" ""We're gonna call our very own" ""Nassau rock" ""And Nassau roll" ""Nassau got" ""A whole lotta soul" ""Be all right" ""Miniskirts, maxiskirts and afro-haired dudes" ""People doin' their own thing" ""They don't care about me or you" ""Nassau's gone funky" ""Nassau's gone soul" ""And we've got a doggone beat now" ""We're gonna take care of business too" ""New York you know" ""Has got a lot of soul" ""And London Town" ""Is too doggone cold" ""Nassau's got sunshine" ""And this you all know" ""But we all go funky" ""We got some soul too" " "Funky Nassau - "All day" ""Funky Nassau" ""Come on" " "Funky Nassau - "Sing it, children" ""Funky Nassau" ""Get into funky" ""Hear, hear" ""Don't stop singin', get funky" ""Funky" ""Hit me!" ""That's what I'm talking about." "That's funky!"" "Thank you." "What was that?" "Elwood?" "You may enter the contest tomorrow night." "Let's get out of here." "Mack?" "Cab?" "Wonderful." "This fax just came for you." "The "Battle of the Bands" is at Queen Moussette's tonight." "Let's roll!" "Now, if you will, a hot Moussette's welcome for Mr. Malvern Gasperon and the Louisiana Gator Boys." "The Louisiana Gator Boys?" "Look at them." "A bunch of wanna-be players." "How good could that mess sound?" "Don't worry about it." "We'll smoke them turkeys." ""Been downhearted, baby" ""Ever since the day we met" ""I been downhearted, baby" ""Ever since the day we met" ""I've a love that's nothin' but the blues" ""Baby, how blue can you get?" ""My love is like a fire" ""Your love is like a cigarette" ""My love is like a fire" ""I said yours is like a cigarette" ""I watched you step down on it, baby and crush it" ""How blue can you get?" ""You're evil when I'm with you" ""And you are jealous when we're apart" ""Yes, you're evil when I'm with you, baby" ""Lord have mercy you're jealous when we're apart" ""How blue can you get?" ""The answer's right here in my heart" ""I gave you a brand-new Ford" ""But you said, 'I want a Cadillac'" ""I bought you a ten dollar dinner" ""You said, 'Thanks for the snack'" ""I let you live in my penthouse" ""You said it was just a shack" ""No, she didn't" ""I gave you seven children" ""And now you wanna give 'em back" ""I been downhearted, baby" ""Ever since the day we met" ""I've a love that's nothin' but the blues" ""Baby, how blue can you get?"" "They're still zombies." "What do we do?" "We got no choice." "We have to play." "And now our final band of the evening from Chicago, Illinois the Blues Brothers Show Band!" "Has not been, nor ever will be, in this band's repertoire." "The Blues Brothers Band." "Look at them." "A bunch of wanna-be players." "How good could that mess sound?" "Don't worry about it." "We'll smoke them turkeys." "Good evening and welcome to the "Battle of the Bands."" "We're the Blues Brothers Show Band." "Hope you like us." ""Without a warning" ""You broke my heart" ""You took it, darlin'" ""And you tore it apart" ""You left me sittin'" ""in the dark, cryin'" ""You said your love for me was dyin'" ""I'm beggin' you, baby" ""Baby, please" ""I'm beggin' you, baby" ""Baby, please" ""Turn on the light" ""Let it shine on me" ""Turn on your love light" ""Let it shine on me" ""Let it shine" ""I get a little lonely" ""In the middle of the night" ""I need you darlin', make things all right" ""Come on, baby" ""Come on, please" ""Come on, baby" ""Baby, please" ""Turn on the light" ""Let it shine on me" ""Turn on your love light" ""Let it shine on me" ""I said a little bit higher" ""Just a little bit higher" ""Come on, baby" ""Come on, please" ""I'm beggin' you, baby" ""I'm down on my knees" ""Turn on the light" ""Let it shine on me" ""Turn on your love light" ""Let it shine on me" ""I feel all right" ""Let it shine" ""Yeah"" "Love Light." "The Blues Brothers." "Now it is time for you the audience, to decide." "When I raise my left hand, I want to hear the applause for the Blues Brothers." "When I raise my right hand, I want to hear the applause for the Louisiana Gator Boys." "First, the Blues Brothers." "The Louisiana Gator Boys!" "That's me!" "The Louisiana Gator Boys!" "What do you mean by this?" "We don't want any trouble." "Just give us the Blues Brothers." "Russians!" "I told you them son-bitches were communists." "Shoot them!" "Enough!" "You try any of that boojie-boojie crap on me, I'll tell you what." "Police!" "Coming through!" "Step aside!" "Coming through." "Commander!" "I'm okay." "I'm okay." "I'm with the band now." "It's good to see you again, Elwood." "Great to see you, Mr. Gasperon." "You're doing well in your new career." "Would you gentlemen care to jam?" "What do you think, Eric?" "Why not?" "One, two, one, two, three, huh." ""I said hey, yeah" ""I said a hey, yeah" ""Come on everybody take a trip with me" ""Well down the Mississippi down in New Orleans" ""You got a honeysuckle bloomin' on the honeysuckle vine" ""And love is a bloomin' there all the time" ""Well every southern belle is a Mississippi Queen" ""Down the Mississippi down to New Orleans" ""I said hey, yeah" ""Come on take a stroll down to Basin Street" ""Listen to that music with the Dixieland beat" ""Well the magnolia blossoms fill the air" ""Well you ain't been to heaven till you been down there" ""They got French moss hangin' a big oak tree" ""Get outta here, Jimmie Vaughan, take it" ""I said hey, yeah" ""Come on everybody take a trip with me" ""Down the Mississippi down to New Orleans" ""Where the honeysuckle hangin' on a honeysuckle vine" ""Well love is bloomin' there all the time" ""Every southern belle is a Mississippi Queen" ""Down the Mississippi down to New Orleans"" "I guess it's time to say goodbye, kid." " I'm not going with them." " You can't stay with Elwood." "They think he kidnapped you." "But they're wrong." "They won't believe that." "He's right, Buster." "If I go back with them, they'll put me in a home with people who don't love me, and put you back in jail." "I'll never see you again." "And we'll both be sad forever." "So, what do we do?" "We're all brothers now, right?" "You guys stay here and distract them." "I'll kidnap Elwood." "Good luck." "See you down the road." "Further on up the road." "Stop that mound of moss!" "The Lord does work in mysterious ways, Elwood." "Put on your seat belt." ""Every southern belle is a Mississippi Queen" ""Down the Mississippi down to New Orleans" ""I said, look out, child" ""Come on take a stroll down to Basin Street" ""And listen to the music of the Dixieland beat" ""The magnolia blossoms really fill the air" ""And you ain't been to heaven if you ain't been there" ""They got French moss hangin' from a big oak tree" ""Down the Mississippi down to New Orleans" ""Come on everybody take a trip with me" ""Down the Mississippi down to New Orleans, hit me" ""They got honeysuckle bloomin' on a honeysuckle vine" ""And love is a bloomin' there all the time" ""You know every southern belle is a Mississippi Queen" ""Down the Mississippi down to New Orleans" ""Well come on take a stroll down to Basin Street" ""And listen to the music with the Dixieland beat" ""Well the magnolia blossoms really fill the air" ""And you ain't been to heaven if you ain't been there" ""They got French moss hangin' from a big-ass tree" ""Down the Mississippi down to New Orleans"" "I'm leaving." ""Please, please, please" ""Please, please don't go" ""Honey, please don't go" ""I love you so" ""Please, please don't go" ""I love you so" ""Take my hand" ""I want to be your lover man" ""Please" ""I love you so" ""Please, please don't go""