"MY GIRL English subtitles by Pippi Longstocking January 1, 2009" "I was born jaundiced." "Once I sat on a toilet seat at a truck stop and caught hemorrhoids." "I've learned to live with a chicken bone lodged in my throat for three years." "So I knew dad would be devastated when he learned my latest affliction." "Dad, I don't want to upset you... but my left breast is developing significantly faster than my right." "It can only mean one thing, cancer." "I'm dying." "Sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge." "Who's in?" "Raise your hand." "Are you coming or not, Thomas J.?" " I don't think so." " I knew he wouldn't come." "I have to go home." "To play with his dolls." "Leave him alone." "Come on." "Let's go." "You didn't pay me." "How do I know you'll show us one?" "You're such a baby." "All right." "Here." "Follow me and don't say a word." "You ready?" "You sure you want to see it?" "Or are you yellow?" "I'm not chicken." "Lean forward." "It's empty!" " You're so weird." " I want my money back." " I was afraid of this." " Of what?" "Sometimes when we get them... they're not completely dead." "Like when they cut a chicken's head off   and they still run around." " You're full of shit." "I bet she's roaming around this house somewhere." "There she is in the rocking chair." "Hi, Gramoo." "Vada, would you bring down my cigarettes?" "See you later." " Did you know he was my wood shop teacher?" " You took wood shop?" "I made a tie rack." " The fluid's mixed?" " Yes." "Put them on the stool." "Guess what?" "I beat Thomas J. in Monopoly." "The rack holds six ties." "I still have mine." " Arthur!" " Vada!" " I beat Thomas J. in Monopoly." " Good for you." "Once you put hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place, you're a shoo-in." " I like to buy railroads." " Vada, we're trying to work here." "Cruella De Vil stole all the puppies." "Hand me the cannula." "There he was just-a walkin' down the street" " Vada!" " Dad?" "I'm embalming my high school teacher." "Don't sing." "All right, Arthur." "Slide him to me a little bit." "Alright, that's good." "CANCER OF PROSTATE" "Let's put him in a nice model C-501 bronze stainless "Eternal Journey"." "He'll look like a champion." "SULTENFUSS PARLOR" "Is Mr. Harry Sultenfuss in?" "Sure." "Come on in." "Have you had the unfortunate experience of recently losing a loved one?" "Could I see your dad for a second?" "Dad!" "Somebody's here!" "He's downstairs working on Mr. Layton." "Prostate cancer." "Once it hits your prostate, you're a goner." " How may I help you?" " I'm Shelly DeVoto." "We spoke the other day regarding the makeup artist job." "It's still available, I hope?" "I think it's still available." "I'm a licensed cosmetologist." "I worked for two years at the Dino Raphael Salon." "My customers cried when I said I was leaving." " Miss DeVoto..." " I have a wonderful disposition." "I put people at ease." "These people are already at ease." "This is not a beauty parlor." "It's a funeral parlor." " They're dead?" " They are." "Stiffs?" "Deceased." "The ad just said "makeup artist."" "Excuse me a second, will you?" "Sure." "Hi, George." "This is a 1258." "I didn't want the burnished handles." " Is that your camper?" " Yes." "It is." "That's really cool." "Hello." "She's shy." "Put it back in the display room." "Daddy, how come that coffin's so small?" "They come in all sizes, just like shoes." " Is it for a child?" " Of course not." " Then who's it for?" " Short people." "Very short people." "Excuse me." "What about the job?" "Pardon?" "I need the job." "You still want it?" "Even though..." "Sure." "It's no big deal." "You see, all my former clients will eventually die   and all your clients used to be alive." "So they have something in common." "You'd do hair and makeup and answer the phone." "OK, mr Sultenfuss." "You've got a deal.." "You can start right away." "Call me Harry." "Is this what you'd normally wear for work?" "Don't get me wrong." "I like it very much." "I promise I'll take good care of these people." "They deserve it." "They're dead." "All they've got left is their looks." "Hey, look at this." "No feet." "Wow." "A real Evel Knievel." "ONLY PICK UP TRUCKS ALLOWED NO BICYCLES" "What are you doing in my garage?" "!" "Get out of here!" "Hi, Veda." "What's wrong today?" "I'm very sick." "OK, take a seat." "I'll check if the doctor can see you." "Vada's here." "She says she's sick." "She looks all right." "OK, he'll see you." "Why don't you go in?" "Well, what is it?" "I can handle it." "You are perfectly healthy." "That can't be." "I have all the classic symptoms." "Did they bring Mr. Layton to your house today?" "Yes." "You've got to stop this." "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you." "I'll just have to get a second opinion." "What did he say is wrong with you?" "The whole medical profession is a crock." "Hey, wait up for me!" "Look!" "At what?" "That's Mr. Bixler." "Let's go talk to him." "I don't want to talk to no teacher, it's summer!" "Hi, mr." "Bixler!" "Mademoiselle Sultenfuss and the amazing Dr. J." " How's the summer treating you?" " It's OK." "Mr. Bixler, I finished all the books for summer reading." "Really?" "Already?" "The summer's just begun." "Yes." "Now I'm reading "War and Peace" for fun." "No wonder you're my prize pupil." "What about you, Thomas J.?" "I haven't started." "Better get on his case, Vada." "How come you're painting this house?" "Well, I just bought it." "Now I'm fixing it up." "This is one big house for one single person." "Well   you never can tell." "I might get a pet." "How are you going to pay for this house if you're not working?" "Well, I'm going to teach creative writing this summer." "I'm doing some work." " How much does it cost?" " 35 dollars." "What do you get for that?" "Me." "Two hours a week talking about poetry." "Is this an interrogation, Vada?" "No." "Well, I guess I'll go home and finish off "War and Peace."" "It's summer." "You're kids." "Go play." "Want to go to Gray's Orchard and pick some peaches?" "No." "I'm going home." "Why?" "It's not dinner time yet." "You're just like a dog." "You just go home to eat." "Don't pee on the hydrant!" "Bill" "I love you so I always will" "I look at you and see the passion" "Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day?" "Trooper Gwynn called." "There was a big accident on PA34." "They're bringing in two tomorrow." "Excuse me, Harry." "I finished Mr. Layton's hair, I think..." "What's wrong with her?" "She's pretending." "Vada, get up and eat your broccoli." "I think it's my prostate." "How many removals did you say...?" "We have to do a V section tomorrow, will you give me a hand?" "I guess so." "Now, this isn't gonna be a repeat of that snooker accident a few years ago?" "Don't knock that up, it's how we got that new Cadillac." "I know that, except I had a body in my bedroom, you had a body in your bedroom." "We were littered with people's bodies." " Who's winning?" " I am." "Look!" "Vada and her little boyfriend." "He's not my boyfriend." "I bet she kisses him on the lips." "You think I'd kiss that ugly thing?" "Yeah, anyway." "Come on." "Let's go." "Judy's father owns the Bijou theater." "We see all the movies we want for free." "Maybe you can come sometime?" "Eew, don't invite her." "She'll bring her boyfriend." "Vada and Thomas Sittin' in a tree" "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" "First comes love" "Then comes marriage" "Then comes Thomas J. in the baby carriage" "You know Vada, you shouldn't let those girls upset you." "I'm not upset." "I would never play with those girls." "I surround myself with people I find intellectually stimulating." "Want a piece of chocolate?" " Thomas J.?" " I'm allergic to it." " To chocolate?" " He's allergic to everything." "Chocolate?" "To everything." "That's a pretty ring you're wearing." "It's a mood ring." "It doesn't work." "It's always black." "It's only black when you're around because you put me in a bad mood." "Maybe black means you're happy." "I don't think so." "Shelly, how can I get $35?" "She's crazy." "She wants to go to school over the summer." "It's not a real school." "It's a writing class." "I want to be a writer." "She only wants to go cause her sweetie pie's the teacher." "Shut your big, fat mouth!" "I think you'd make a fine writer." "Did you ask your dad?" "He won't give it to me." "You don't know that." "Ask him." "Edith, what channel is Cronkite on?" "Channel two, Archie." "The one we don't watch because you always say " " Walter Cronkite is a communist." "I never said that, Edith." "The man ain't all red." "What's wrong with this?" "Nothing's coming on." "Daddy, can I have $35?" "That's a lot for a little girl." "It's for school." "A summer writing class." "Any more soda left?" "Shelly thinks I'd be a good writer." "Last month you wanted to play violin." "Then you wanted to be a ventriloquist." "Dad?" "I love this guy." "What?" "The money?" "Maybe next summer." "He forgot about the time I wanted to be a magician." "I was really great at making myself disappear." "Want to play?" "No, I've got to go to a cemetery." "Keep your head up." "Don't look at the ball, look at me." "See?" "You were lookin' at the ball." "All right?" "Keep your head up." "Please!" "Open the door, please!" "Someone open the door!" "Please!" "Vada." "What happened?" "My ball." "I lost my ball." "Come on." "Excuse me, Harry?" "Could you take a look at Mrs. Porter?" "Didn't I give you a picture of what she looked like?" "You don't like it?" "This was the Reverend Porter's wife." "You have her looking like a two-dollar hooker." "I think she looks nice." "Her lips are very thin." "I used the gloss to give them a sensual quality." "And her eyes just needed a little definition." "And her hair..." "Nobody wears this hairdo in 1972." "She did." "This photo was taken a month ago at the church food drive." "I wanted to get past the schoolmarm image." "That wasn't an image." "She was an old schoolmarm." "Fix it." "Harry?" "I was just wondering if there's anything wrong with Vada." "What do you mean?" " The other night..." " Oh, that." "She likes to play." "I don't think so." "I think she's confused about death." "She was raised in a funeral home." "She knows a little about it." "But Harry, I really think..." "She's a happy eleven-year-old girl." "Look don't give me any advice about my daughter, okay?" "There's Shelly!" "Hi!" "Can we look around in your camper?" "Sure." "I'll give you the royal tour." "This is the coolest thing." "You can really eat and sleep here?" "I'm going to drive us to Liverpool." "Liverpool?" "Big Ringo fan." " Would you like a soda?" " I would." " Thomas?" " Yes please." "What are you reading?" "You shouldn't be looking at that." "It's too old for you." "Did you read all these books?" "What are they about?" "Mostly love and romance." "Eew, gross!" "They're just fun to read." "Here." "Cheers." "Are you married?" "No, I'm divorced." "Daddy says it's bad when people get divorced." "I know." "Sometimes married people find out they can't live with each other." "The Meyers are divorced." "Shelly, can I have a cookie?" "Hey, where are all the cookies?" "Well, I guess you found my secret hiding place." "What are you saving for?" "Nothing in particular." "Just putting it away for a rainy day." "I'm supposed to be home at noon for lunch." "Thanks, Shelly!" "Bye." "Well, miss Vada, what do you say we head back?" " Can I use your bathroom first?" " Sure." "You don't have to wait." "Daddy will be mad if you're late." ""The great way is not difficult for those with no preferences." "With the absence of both love and hate, everything becomes clear - and undisguised."" "That was written by a Chinese philosopher in the year 600." "Why would I bring that up in a creative writing class?" "Because the absence of judgement helps us to appreciate reality." "In other words " " I want you to listen to your classmates' writing   with a clear and open heart." "OK, so who's gonna go first?" "I got one." ""I sang a song for you to hear " "I painted a picture for you to see " "I picked a rose for you to smell " "I planted grass for you to touch " "But you didn't hear my song." "You did not see my picture." "You did not smell my rose and you did not touch my grass!"" "Maybe she was outta town?" "That's not funny!" "His poem is about futility!" "We toil in unrewarded obscurity." "Now, I hear judgement." "Don't forget the part about the open heart!" "Vada?" "Is there something I can do for you?" "I paid the money." "For this class?" "I wanna be a writer." "But Vada, this is an adult writing class!" "Hey, I think it's beautiful!" "She wants to be a writer!" "More power to you, little sister!" "Vada?" "You sure you wanna do this?" "OK, welcome to the class!" "Go find a seat." "OK, who's next?" "I experienced something with my boyfriend the other day   and I wrote a few words down." "The floor is yours, Ronda!" ""He covers me like a blanket - from the cold dark night." "As I look into his eyes I know it's right." "To touch, to feel." "I know he's real." "Flesh all a-mesh." "I can't fight it." "There's no point." "I wake up and light a joint."" "I wrote a poem, too." "Please." ""Ode to Ice Cream" by Vada Sultenfuss." ""I like ice cream a whole lot." "It tastes good when days are hot." "On a cone or in a dish, this would be my only wish." "Vanilla, chocolate, rocky road, even with pie a la mode."" "That's all I've got so far." "I hear that, Vada." ""Flesh all a-mesh" or "rocky road", it's about desire." "Vada, that's very sweet and itrhymes, and that's all good, but..." "You're not expressing to me what's in your soul." "I want you to show me how you see the world, your fears or desires." "Your innermost secrets." "My fears and secrets?" "I'm afraid I killed my mother." "Can not do without Harry's wild about me!" "Excuse me, Harry?" "I just wanted to let you know that flower's were delievered." "And the room is all setup." "Thanks." "Listen, I want to apologize for the other day downstairs about Vada." "I was a little harsh." "I shouldn't stick my nose in other people's business." "It's just that I like Vada very much." "After my wife died grandma moved in here to help us take care of Vada." "They were very close." "But lately as her mind's been wandering..." "Vada has been acting kinda crazy." "I'm sure she'll snap out of it though." "I'm sure she will." "Nothing's biting today." "Maybe they had a big breakfast." "I'm gonna be an acrobat when I grow up." "Big deal, I can do that too!" "Thomas J., you got something!" "Hurry!" "I'm trying." "Reel it in!" "It's a sunny, throw it back." "I don't like touching fish." "I'll pull the hook out without touching it." "You're hurting him, don't kill him!" "Darn hook." "I'm bleeding." "Did it get away?" "Go look." "Yeah, it got away." "Come on, let's go." "Hey, we can become blood brothers!" "No, I don't wanna." "You could pick that scab on your arm." "It's a mosquito bite." "It'll bleed." "If I do it, can we go?" "OK, rub them together." "Now we're blood brothers for life." "DEATH NOTICE" "Hi." "Hi, what can I do for you?" "Nothing, I was just wondering what you were doing." "Nothing, I'm just typing up a funeral notice." "When someone dies, we put one in the paper." "It's a service we provide for the family." ""Bader, Lorenzo." "Died June 22, 1972." "Devoted husband to Nicolette." "Cherished father of Fabrizio and Heidi." "In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the Holy Name Society."" "I wrote that." "No kidding?" "It's good! "In lieu of."" "I love that word, "lieu"." "I prefer it to "instead", it has more dignity" ""In lieu", "instead"." "No contest." "It's no big deal" "Harry..." "You have to learn how to take a compliment." "Movies!" "Movies..." ""Love Story" at the drive-in!" "Cried my eyes out!" "Did you see it?" "I haven't been to the movies in ages!" "I love to see movies." "Especially at the drive-in." "I don't think there's anything more romantic than going to the drive-in." "I'll let you back to work." "I do enjoy playing bingo." "If you'd like to join me tomorrow night, you're welcome to." "Hi Vada." " Are you going out somewhere?" " No." "So how come you're putting lipstick on?" "A girl's always gotta look her best." "I think lipstick looks fake." "No one's lips are like that color." " Have you ever tried any?" " No." "Come here, sit down." "Go like this." "A little less." "Now first we blot." "Take a look." "It looks real nice on you." "Shelly, do you think I'm pretty?" "Yes Vada, I think you are very pretty." "You got these great, big - sparkling eyes." "The cutest little nose." "And amazing mouth." "The boys at school don't think I am." "They'll come around." "Close your eyes." "I want to bring out the gorgeous color in them." "Now, the first rule in applying eye make-up   is you can never wear enough blue eye shadow." "Do you like putting make-up on people?" "I've been trying to get to Hollywood to do make-up for the movie stars   but I haven't gotten there yet." "Open your eyes." "Shelly, I would definitely hold off on that Hollywood thing." "Your lip bleeding?" "What's wrong with your eyes?" "A girl can never wear enough eye shadow!" "Where's your bike?" "In the garage." "Walk me over." "It's only a garage, come on!" "One of my streamers is gone." "It probably fell off in here." "Hey, look at this!" "That was Gramoo's." "It's a phrenology chart." "They used to study the bones in your head to see if you had a good personality or not." "Come here, I'll diagnose your head." "I don't wanna." "Come on, it's fun." " Interesting." " What?" "You have no personality." "Where does it say that?" "Never mind." "Is that your dad?" "Yes." "Who's that with your dad?" "It's my mother." "Do you remember her?" "Gramoo said she's in heaven." "What do you think it's like?" " What?" " Heaven!" "I think  everybody gets their own white horse." "And all they do is ride them and eat marshmallows all day." "And everybody's best friends with everybody else." "When you play sports there's no teams, so nobody gets picked last." "But what if you're afraid to ride horses?" "Doesn't matter, cause they're not regular horses." "They've got wings." "And it's no big deal if you fall." "You just land in a cloud." "That doesn't sound so bad!" "Come on." "We're gonna find that streamer." "Well well well, whats' going on in here?" "Nothing." "I'm dressing." "Oh, you're dressing, huh?" "Don't you know it's not nice to lie to your big brother?" "Hey, watch the hair!" "The shirt!" " Give!" " All right!" "I'm going out with Shelly." "Oh yes, that's great!" "I'm very nervous!" " Why?" " Last date I had was 20 years ago!" "That's true." "Harry, sit down." "Let me fill you in on today's women." "Since the last time you dated something happened." "The sexual revolution." "Before, you had to hold a door for a woman pull her chair out, pick up the check." "You wanna know what else is missing?" "Bras." "Oh, come on!" "Harry, I'm serious!" "Trust me, Harry!" "This women's lib thing is in!" "You gotta treat her like every Tom, Dick and Harry." "Are you sure about all this?" "Did you not tell Vada I'm a womanizer?" "I'm running late." "Shelly will be here any minute." "She's picking you up, good!" "You're on the right track!" "No, she's just driving over here." "Then we're taking my car." "How do I look?" "Like a Sultenfuss!" "Go get her!" "Night, Vada." "Dad?" "Why are you dressed up to play bingo?" "I just wanna look nice." "You never cared before!" "Well, Shelly's coming over, we're gonna go together." "Why?" "She likes to play bingo." "Can I go too?" "No, I think you better stay here and keep Gramoo company." "I've got to admit, I'd as soon not have any more bounty prisoners - coming through Dodge any time soon." "It's a bit wearin' on the nerves." "This day was starting off just fine   and I'm gonna keep it that way." "Doc, you never answered my question." "Vada?" " Where are you?" " Here!" "Don't do that!" "Sorry!" "What do you want?" "My mom will skin me alive if she finds out I'm out here." "Let's go to the church." "They're playing bingo tonight." "I told you I'd get in trouble!" "Pacifist!" "Am not!" "Bed wetter!" "I stopped that!" "N-38!" "Under the "N"..." "Don't laugh." "There's a strategy to bingo." "For instance, on a given night, anybody can win." "But I play the odds." "When choosing bingo cards I use the laws of probabilities   to avoid duplicate number systems." "This way, you get much more activity." "Does it make it easier to win?" "No." "Just more activity." "I-17." "Under the "I", 1-7." "They won't let us in, Vada!" "We're kids." "We're not going to bet." "We're just gonna watch." "Watch bingo?" "I don't even like to play bingo!" "Duck." "N-42." " Under the "N", 4-2." " Oh, great!" "There's your dad and Shelly!" "I don't want them to see me." "3-7." "B-4." "Under the "B", 4." "O-69." "Under the "O", 6-9." "I just had a terrible thought." "What's that?" "I'm gonna be putting makeup on some of these people very soon." "Why do you think these seats were empty?" "B-6." "Under the "B", 6." "Can we go yet?" "Go!" "You know, I'm not allowed out by myself after dark." "O-67." "Under the "O", 6-7." "I'm just not lucky, Harry!" "Look, it's not always luck." "Depending on the placement of the numbers   a guy with 10 cards can win just as easily as a guy with a 100." "Kinda like men." "How do you mean?" "Well, you can be in a room with a hundred men   and not like any of them." "Or you can be in a room with just one man." "And he's exactly the one you want." "Bingo!" "We have a winner!" "Will the winner raise their hand?" "There was no bingo, it came from outside!" "How can someone outside get a bingo?" "Someone outside didn't get a bingo." "Someone outside yelled "bingo," you moron!" " Who you calling a moron?" " Put a lid on it, Vern!" "Put a lid on it?" "If you weren't 200 years old, I'd kick your wrinkled ass!" "Hey fellas, it's just a bingo game!" "We can go." "I had a good time tonight." "I haven't had a bingo partner in ages." "You'd like to come inside to see my house?" "Just for a minute." "Sure." "Home, sweet home." "It's nice." "I did it myself." "I read a magazine article about how to maximize small spaces." "Well, it certainly looks bigger than it seems." "You can look in the bathroom if you want." "People are always curious about that." "Like what happens when you flush." "Are you mad at me?" "No, why?" "I don't know, tonight you just seemed a little cool." "Not opening car doors..." "That was Phil, trying to give me advice on dating 70s women." "Look, I'm so out of touch, I haven't dated a woman in ages." "Not since my wife died." "What happened to her?" "Complications during child birth." "She died two days after Vada was born." "Did she ever see Vada?" "I brought the baby into the room a couple of times." "She opened her eyes." "Yeah, I think she saw Vada." "It was..." "Did I ruin this?" "Dance with me?" "Here?" "This is where we are." "Is there enough room?" " I haven't danced..." " ... in ages." "I know." "Me neither." "Bra?" "See!" "You're not that out of touch!" "Phil, he's..." "You're good." "At Woodman High, I was considered a hot date." "I did a killer Trug." "What are you wearing?" ""Old Spice"." "Phil says it's a timeless classic." "So do you want to?" "Want to what?" " Kiss me?" " Yes." "Good." "Good at kissing and dancing." "I'm very optimistic." "I better go..." "It's only a clock." "Good night, Shelly." "Good night." "I guess it's official." "We had a date." "Maybe we can play bingo again sometime?" "I'm tired of bingo." "Maybe we should try that drive-in of yours." "Good night." "Before class started " " Ronda and Justin wanted to lead the class in a group meditation." "That's really cool!" "What we're going to do is send our vibes out into the group." "Everybody hold hands and close your eyes." "Relax your muscles and take deep breaths." "Now, try to feel what the other person is feeling   without speaking any words." "Send out your vibe and receive the vibes from around you at the same time." "Can you feel it?" "OK, open your eyes." "What did everybody feel?" "I felt mrs." "Hunsaker's strength." "I can feel that Ronda is one with the earth." "She's so cosmically in tune!" "So right on!" "That's exactly what I sent out." "And I felt like you were full of inner peace and harmony." "Vada, what did you feel?" "I felt Justin's hangnail." "No Vada, that's not what we're looking for." "A hangnail is insignificant." "What's in my soul?" "Feel my aura." "I don't think I'm allowed to." "Tell you what, let's try it again." "Hold hands." "Gramoo once had a hangnail on her big toe." "It got infected and traveled to her vocal chords." "Ruined her singing voice." "I don't think Gramoo thought it was insignificant." "And some lettuce." "Watch out for the rust when you get lettuce." "Hey, I thought I recognized you two." " Hi Vada!" " Hi." " We're just picking things up for the barbecue." " Me too." "Mind if I tag along?" "Not at all." "Lot of potatoes!" "It's for Shelly's famouse potato sallad." "Looking forward to that!" "Damn it!" "Watch what you're doing, Vada!" "Sorry." "This'll be my first July 4th picnic in a long time." "Dad, didn't you say you needed prunes real bad?" "Vada, just put anything you want in the cart." "Anything at all." "I don't know what's gotten in to her today." "I need olives." "I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls." "Ken was my favorite." "Then one Christmas, I got them a camper." "All they wanted to do was hang out by themselves." "So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over the cliff." "I told you, use fewer briquettes." "Now look what you've done.p" "You've cremated them." "That's what I do." "Do you want to do it?" "Why don't you pre-measure the briquettes in little packages?" "Put out a product." "Support me a while." "How's it going, chef?" "I love your apron." "Thanks." " Is it ready yet?" " No, sweetie." "Not yet." "When?" "Soon, honey, soon." "When?" "In a minute." "Look, honey, it's hot." "You'll burn your nose." "Look out." "Rub-a-dub-dub..." "Thanks for the grub, Yeah, God." "I'll second that." "Shelly, you like seafood?" "Aha, what?" ""See food."" "That's attractive." "Shit!" "Excuse me." "Hey, who lives here?" "The Addams family?" " Danny, what are you doing here?" " What am I doing here?" "Hi, Ralph!" "Danny, how'd you find me?" "You told everybody where you were going." "I'm here for the motor home." " No, I bought it." "I paid for it." " These two people do not have a good relationship." "I've been living in it." "The camper is mine!" "Excuse me, "mutual asset." That's what the lawyer said." "Not Shelly's recreational vehicle." "Keep your voice down!" "My boss is watching us." "I'm impressed!" "Oh God, I guess I have to introduce you now." "This is Harry, Phil, Gramoo and Vada Sultenfuss." "Vada Sultenfuss?" "Tough break!" "I like my name." "This is Danny and Ralph." "They own the Dino Raphael Salon in Detroit." "We just to be married." "Are you here to take Shelly back?" "It's nice to meet you." "We've got burgers and hot dogs here if you'd like to join us." "Can't stay." "I'm here because my wife..." "Ex!" "My ex-wife seems to have ripped off my camper." "Honestly Harry, he got the Mustang." "I promise." "I don't think so, I've got a copy of the property settlement here." "Shit!" "This is my lease." "Damn it." "I keep forgetting things." "Getting senile." "What?" "I know you've suffered a terrible loss... and there's nothing anyone can do to comfort you." "I urge you to focus on the times you had with the camper..." "The trips you took, the sights you saw..." "Those days are gone, but they'll live on in your heart forever." "Is he boinking you?" "That's a real bonehead thing to say!" "Look, you're not gonna take Shelly's camper." " Oh, no?" " It's her home." "It's where she lives." "Oh really!" "Really?" "Fine." "Go cook." "Give me the goddamn keys!" " Come on!" " That hurts!" "What you do that for?" " Who are you?" " I'm his brother." "Then you'll be visiting us quite often." "Why?" "Because if he ever tries to take Shelly's camper again " " I'm gonna bury him in my front yard." "Your father's a savage!" "Well, you were pretty great!" "Is it really your camper?" "Can we see them from the back yard?" "You can get the general idea." "There they are." "They always look the same every year." "Look!" "Did you   love him?" "I would never marry anybody I didn't love." "He must like Shelly." "I never saw him hit anyone in his life." "He likes her." "Does he love her?" "Probably." "Do you like her?" "Yes I do   and I think she's very good for your father." "Why?" "After your mother died, he was sad all the time." "But before that, he was pretty funny." "Really?" "Now when I see him with Shelly   sometimes he seems like the old Harry." "My dad was funny?" "He wasn't one of the Marx Brothers but made me laugh." "My uncle fought in the Korean War." "He had a steel plate put in his head." "Daddy said he didn't come back the same." "One night, we picked up a radio station from Oklahoma in his teeth." "It was really neat." " Can't you see it?" " What?" "Can't you see it?" "It's there." "Vada there is no chicken bone stuck in your throat." "Dr. Welty, are you sure those are yours?" "So you fill it with water, like this." "And you've got a water gun!" "Cool!" "Can I get one for Vada?" "Oh yes, yes." "Thomas, let me ask you a question." "Does Vada ever tell you why she comes here so much?" "She's dying." "Do you think she is?" "No." "And why do you think she says that?" "Because she gets scared of all those dead people in her house." "You know that saying, " If you can't beat them, join them"?" "If she's one of them, she won't be as scared." "You know what I think?" "I think Vada's very lucky to have a friend like you." "She's my best friend." "Miss Vada, how are you feeling?" "As good as can be expected." " Hey Vada, guess what we've got?" " What?" "This!" "Hey, you!" "I'm gonna get you!" "I'll get you!" "Give me that, you creep!" "I just got you!" "No, you didn't!" "What?" " There's a bee hive." " So?" "Stand back." "Are you crazy?" "You'll get stung!" "You're right." "Let's knock it down." "What do you want if for, anyway?" "Cause they're neat." "Got it!" "My mood ring fell off!" "I gotta find it!" "They're alive!" "Run for your life!" "Run faster!" "They're after us!" "I am running faster." " Hurry!" " Jump in the water!" "I have my clothes on!" "Do it!" "Vada, is that you?" "Yes." "Guess what?" "We're going to the carnival tonight." "Be ready to go in 10 minutes." "Shelly's coming with us." "Vada, what's your favorite ride?" "I like the freak show." "I know, I know." "I know." "Let's go on the "sit on the bench and rest ride."" "I don't think that roller coaster agreed with your dad's stomach." "You know Vada, you have to watch what you eat here." "Once I went to a carnival with my cousins, David and Frank." "They ate hot dogs   and the next day came down with nephritis." "Nephritis is a kidney disease." " You don't get it from hot dogs." " I'm not a doctor!" "All I know is, the next day they had high fevers   and their faces got very fat." "It baffled medical science." "They were in a magazine." "They were! "Popular Mechanics"!" "No, "Popular Science"." "I don't know, it was "Popular"." "They're trying to hit that poor thing!" "Watch you don't knock out a fish." "Just arc it." "I don't know which ball's mine." "I won!" "I won!" "Great!" "We have a winner!" "There you go, little girl." "See how easy it is, folks?" "Oh Vada, that's a gorgeous goldfish." "Where'd you get that ring?" "Did you win it?" "Vada, we have something to tell you." "Vada, we have some good news." "Shelly and I are getting married." "Oh, my fish!" "We're having the wedding sometime near the end of the summer." "You'll be OK, little fish." "Vada, would you like us to get another goldfish?" "No, he's fine." "Fish are very resilient animals." "Don't worry, I won't get another fish." "The bumper car!" "The bumper car!" "For just 50 cents... a half dollar..." "five dimes... ten nickels..." "We have a ride guaranteed to rearrange all of your internal organs." "Don't pass me by!" "That's the bumper car ride!" "Bumper cars!" "You can't go to a carnival and not ride the bumper cars!" "I fall asleep at the wheel!" "I'll ride the bumper cars with you." "Great, Vada!" "Come on." "Two." "I got the blue one!" "I'm gonna come get you." "Vada, keep your hands on the wheel!" "Careful, Vada, careful!" "Shelly, look out!" " Hi, Vada!" " Hi, is Thomas J. home?" "Sure, come on in." "Hi, Vada." " Hi, wanna ride bikes?" " Sure." " Did you make your bed?" " Yes." " Are you sure?" " It's made." "Come here." "You've got a milk moustache." "Come on, let's go." "Bye, Mrs. Sennett." " Bye, mum." " Have fun, kids." "I'm running away!" "Where are you running to?" "To California." "I'm going to Hollywood to live with the Brady bunch." "I wanna live with them too!" "You can't, they have enough kids." "You'll have to live with the Partridge Family." "Really?" "That's it." " Get up!" " I'm tired of running away." "Besides, we passed this place two times already." "We're not getting nowhere." "So why are you running away?" "My dad gave Shelly a ring." "Wow, was it a decoder ring?" "You're such a retard!" "It was an engagement ring." "They're getting married?" "So now you have a mother." "I don't like her." "I do." "She's real funny." "She likes you better than me." "I'm hungry." "I can't last any longer." "Then go home, baby!" "I have to anyway, my mum will be worried." "Leave then!" "Some friend you are!" "You can come to my house for dinner." "No, I'm hiding out." "OK, see you." "Perhaps you didn't hear what I said, Mr. Deeds." "The whole Circle fortune goes to you." "I heard you, all right." "20 million, that's quite a lot, isn't it?" "It'll do in a pinch." "I wonder why he left me all that money." "I don't need it." "In social studies we learned some people stole the Lindbergh baby   right out of his house." "I think I'll sleep with my window open tonight." "Oh, my God!" "Daddy!" "Vada, what's the matter?" "Where's daddy?" " He just left, what's wrong?" " I'm hemorrhaging." "What do you mean, you're hemorrhaging?" "I don't want or need your help!" "Vada, did this happen in the bathroom?" " How old are you?" " I'm eleven and a half." "It's okay." "Come upstairs." "We have to have a little talk." "My mummy and daddy did that?" "Actually, it's a very beautiful thing." "And look, there wouldn't have been a Vada!" "I think it should be outlawed." "Believe me, some day you'll feel differently." "That's probably Thomas J. I don't wanna see him." "It's not fair." "Nothing happens to boys!" "Hi, Vada." "Can you come out?" "I don't know..." "Please, it's real hot." "Maybe we can go swimming?" "No!" "Get out of here!" "And don't come back for 5 to 7 days!" "Gramoo, I'm going to the bathroom." "I'll be right back." "Stay here." " Ready?" " Yeah." "It's quarter to three" "There's no one in the place, but just you and me." "So set them up, Joe" "I've got a little story you ought to know" "We're coming, my friend" "To the end of a brief episode." "I'm so sorry." "It's OK, ma." "So make it one for my baby." "And one more for the road." "Very very sorry." "What were you thinking?" "It's your responsibility to watch her!" "Do you have any idea how upset those people are in there?" "Why do you think people want to get married?" "When you get older, you just have to." "I'm going to marry Mr. Bixler." "You can't marry a teacher." "It's against the law." " Is not!" " Yes, it is." "'Cause then he'll give you all A's, and it won't be fair." "Not true." "Have you ever kissed anyone?" "Like they do on TV?" "Maybe we should, just to see what's the big deal." "But, I don't know how!" "Here, practice on your arm like this." "Like this?" "OK, enough practice." "Close your eyes." "But then I won't be able to see anything!" "Just do it!" "On the count of three." "One... two... two and a half... three!" "Say something, it's too quiet!" "Just hurry!" ""I pledge allegiance to the flag -"" " "of the United States of America -"" " "and to the republic for which it stands -"" " "one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all."" "You better not tell anyone!" "You better not either." "Let's spit on it." "See you tomorrow." "Vada?" "What?" "Would you think of me?" "What?" "If you don't marry Mr. Bixler." "I guess." "Yes!" "God, no!" "Get away!" "What are you doing?" "Feeding my fish." " Is that the fish you won at the carnival?" " Yes." "He's getting big." "Vada, come here and sit down for a minute." "Vada, something happened to Thomas J. last night." "He stepped on a beehive." "I told him not to tease those bees." "Did he get stung?" "Maybe I should go over and yell at him?" "No, sweetheart, you can't" "Why not?" "He was allergic to bees." "He's OK, isn't he?" "There were just too many of them." "Dr. Welty!" "Vada, what's wrong, sweety?" "I can't breathe, I'm suffocating!" "Relax, let me look." "Come up here, let me have a look." "It hurts, it hurts so bad!" "What hurts Vada?" "The bee stings!" "I can't breathe!" "I'll leave some food for you at the door in case you get hungry." "Hi." "Is Vada home?" "Yes, but she's very upset and she's not seeing anyone." "I'm Judy, I go to school with her" "I wanted to tell her I'm sorry about Thomas J." "Maybe she'll feel better in a couple of days." "Will you tell her I came by?" "Sure." " Hi, Harry." " Hi, reverend Moss." "The Sennetts want to thank you for taking care of things so quickly." "Vada, I see you took your tray in." "Maybe you should come down to the funeral?" "Sometimes it helps." "She won't come out." "It's been a whole day." "You'll have to do something, Harry." "The funeral's starting." "Open your eyes, she's 11 years old!" "Her only friend in the world is dead!" "I know that but what do you want from me?" "Stop hiding, Harry!" "You run Harry." "When I first came here   the idea of working with dead people didn't exactly thrill me." "When I saw a family lived here " " I thought   "If I'm living without a family"   "at least I can work with one." " ""And maybe once in while get invited in for supper."" "Yeah, but when those suppers are disrupted   because there's a car crash or there's a fire or a little boy steps on a beehive?" " I'm not asking you to stop feeling for those people." "But life isn't just death, Harry." "Don't ignore the living   especially your daughter." "Excuse me Harry, Shelly, the minister's about to begin." "Thank you, Arthur." "We are here to honour Thomas J. Sennett." "He was born May 7, 1961, in Madison, Pennsylvania." "He's survived by his loving parents Charles and Susan Sennett,   his grandparents, William and Gloria Sennett  and Gerald and Marjory Finn and many relatives, friends and schoolmates." "The internment will follow at Madison Memorial Park." "The family has asked me to say a few words before we proceed." "No words I could say would begin to express   the loss and grief." "One word that keeps ringing in my ear   is "why?"" "Why would God choose to take this little boy from us?" "Why?" "I cant give you an answer to that question." "I can tell you " "God has chosen Thomas J. for some very   special reason." "We must find solace in knowing that Thomas J is in God's care." "In that place, there is no sorrow or suffering." "The lion lies with the lamb." "The day is not divided." "I'd like to read a passage from the Bible." "This is Matthew 19." ""At one point, children were brought to Him   that He might lay his hands on them in prayer." "Disciples began to chastise Him." "But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me." "Do not hinder them." "The kingdom of God   belongs to such as these."" "He laid his hands on their heads   before he left that place."" "Let us pray in silence." "Wanna go tree climbing, Thomas J?" "His face hurts!" "And where are his glasses?" "He can't see without his glasses!" "Put his glasses on!" "Put on his glasses!" "He was going to be an acrobat." "He's gone, sweetheart." "Vada, wait!" "Vada!" "Vada, I was just on my way to your house." "You all right?" "I'm so sorry about Thomas J." "OK, we don't have to talk about him!" "It's okay." "We won't talk about him." "We won't talk about him." "Justin and Ronda say that I should tell people what I feel." "Come here." "Sit down over here." "Mr. Bixler..." "I love you." "I love you like my dad loves Shelly." "And I wanna live here." "I think your dad would miss you." "No, he wouldn't." "I can't go home." "Hank, I'll be ready in a second." "I can't find my other earring." "Suzanne, this is Vada." "Vada, hi!" "I'm really sorry!" "Could you give us a minute?" "Who's that?" "That's Suzanne." "She and I are gonna be married this fall." "I was gonna bring her to class next week." "I want her to hear your poem." "Please, honey." "I cared for him too." "Get away from me!" "Vada!" "Vada, sweetheart, don't..." "Why do you think people want to get married?" "When you get old, you just have to." "Who's that with your dad?" "That's my mother." "I'm gonna be an acrobat when I grow up." "Vada?" "Would you think of me?" "If you don't get to marry Mr. Bixler." "Now we're blood brothers for life." "Shelly, I'm sorry but we haven't found her yet." "She can't be alone in the dark!" " We'll keep looking." " We've been looking since this morning." " Her teacher called..." " I know." "You told us." "Vada?" "Are you OK?" "Oh, God!" "." "I should have told Thomas J. he was my best friend." "I'm sure he knew." "Shelly, I stole some money from your cookie jar " " to pay for the writing class." " It's okay." "I'll pay you back." "Besides, I don't think I'll ever go to class again." "Tell you what." "You dedicate your first book to me, " " I'll forget the whole thing." "I will." "I promise." "OK, get into bed." " Good night." " Good night." "She's here." "Did I kill my mother?" "What?" "The bees killed Thomas J., and I killed my mother." "Sweety, that wasn't your fault." "Things like that aren't anybody's fault." "It just happened." "I found this." "I forgot about that picture." "Where'd you find it?" "In the garage." "That little Chevy was your mother's favorite car." "What was my mama like?" "She was pretty and kind." "She had your eyes." "Boy, did she love to laugh!" "Sometimes when you laugh, you sound just like her." "Really?" "Know what she did when she found out she was going to have you?" "She came home and painted this whole room pink." "She was so sure she was going to have a little girl." "Do you miss her?" "Yes, I did." "Very much, for a long time." "Even now, I get a little sad when I think about a pretty flower   or a beautiful sunset she would have liked." "I think every time I see a climbing tree, I'll think of Thomas J." "That's good." "Memories are good, sweetheart." "Vada, I'm sorry." "I was trying to keep it from you." "I just couldn't." "You're a good girl." "I want you to be happy." "Don't be an old grump like me." "See you in the morning." "Daddy?" "It's not so bad to be like you." "Mrs. Sennett, how are you doing?" "Some days I think I'll be okay   others I have to force myself   even to get out of bed." "I know it's crazy, but sometimes I think he's just away at summer camp." "How's Veda?" "She's doing much better." "She's just inside." "Vada?" "Mrs. Sennett." "Vada!" "I've been wanting to come over to you." "Thomas J. had this on him." "I thought you might like to have it." "You were such a good friend to him." "I hope you'll still come by and visit me." "I will." "I promise." "Mrs. Sennett?" "Thomas J. will be all right." "My mother will take care of him." "Thank you, Vada." ""Encased in talent, like a uniform   the rank of every poet is well known." "They can amaze us like a thunderstorm   or die so young or live for years alone."" "My advice to you on our last class:" "Be a thunderstorm!" "What exactly do you mean by that?" "I mean   be dangerous " " and unpredictable." "And make a lot of noise." "Vada?" "We missed you, man!" "Give me a hug." "I was hoping you'd stop by today." "Can't stay." "I just came to read my poem." "We'd love to hear it." ""Weeping willow with your tears running down - why do you always weep and frown?" "Is it because he left you one day?" "Is it because he could not stay?" "On your branches he would swing." "Do you long for the happiness that day would bring?" "He found shelter in your shade." "You thought his laughter would never fade." "Weeping willow, stop your tears." "There is something to calm your fears." "You think death has ripped you forever apart." "But I know he'll always be in your heart."" " Hi, Judy." " Vada." "Things are a little better these days." "I finally swallowed that chicken bone." "Judy and I are going to be in the same homeroom." "And the Republican Party just renominated Mr. Nixon." "The Temptations:" "My Girl"