"Give me an explanation why the pharmacist has to be two and a half feet up above everybody else." "What the hell is he doing he can't be on the floor with you and me?" "Brain surgeons, airline pilots, nuclear physicists, we're on the same level." "Oh, no, he's gotta be two and a half feet up." ""Look out, everybody, I'm working with pills." "Spread out, give me some room."" "The only hard part of his whole job that I could see is typing everything onto that little, tiny label." "And has to try and get all the words on there keep the little piece of paper in the roller of the typewriter." "Oh, no." "He's gotta be two and a half feet up." ""Yeah, I'd like to get this prescription filled."" ""All right." "You wait down there." "Only I'm allowed up here."" " Where'd you meet her?" " I met her on an elevator." "On an elevator?" "You met a woman on an elevator?" " Impossible, right?" " You got less than 60 seconds." "That's like dismantling a time bomb." " What got into you?" " I don't know." "She was so beautiful it was a pure reflex." "The words just came out of my mouth." " Wow." "What did you say?" "You know, I'm the one responsible for those crop circles in England." " Can you believe I did that?" " What did she say?" "What crop circles?" " Not a good sign." " Not everybody knows what the crop circles are." "You know what the crop circles are?" "Crop circles?" "Why don't you buy something?" "You got something in your teeth." " What?" " It's green." "Oh, man, spinach." "I've been walking around like this all afternoon." " You bump into anybody you knew?" " I had a job interview." " How did it go?" " Take a guess." "Well, Mr. Costanza, we have nothing available at the present time but should anything open up, we'll be in touch." "Okay, thanks." "You don't need a job." "You got Audrey." "Yeah." "Right." " What's the matter?" " No." "Nothing." " What?" " You won't think I'm a bad person?" "Too late for that." "Because, believe me, I would only say this to you and maybe a psychiatrist." "What is it?" "Well..." "Her nose is a little big." "Yeah, she's got a big nose." "I mean, big would even be okay." "It's beyond big." "It's a schnoz." "I'm aware that my own physical dimensions are a little short of perfection." " A little." "Who am I to be thinking about someone's nose?" "I should be grateful someone like her looks at me." "I have no job, nothing." "But I have to say, I think about the nose." "I don't wanna think about it, I don't ask to think about it, but I think about it." "I go to bed, I tell myself, " Don't think about the nose." I think about it." "I look at her, I see the nose." "Stop being so concerned with looks." " Have you said anything to her?" " No." "Could never do that." "The ironic thing is, if she had a smaller nose I never could've dated her." "She'd be out of my league with a smaller nose." "And I really like her." "I know that." "And I know one other thing:" "I'm not getting past that nose." "All right, shut up." "Here they come." "How can I not think about it?" "Look at the size of this thing." "My mother's going out with this guy who leaves a jacket in her house." "She gives to me." "Well, two years later, he shows up and takes it back." "Now he's in prison." "Got arrested for mail fraud." "So, Elaine, go over to the apartment, tell the landlord you're his daughter and you wanna bring him the jacket." "Won't the landlord know I'm not the daughter?" "No, he's never met her." "She's in California." " Are you coming with me?" " Yeah, I have to." "I'm your fiancé." "Peter Von Nostrand." "Why don't you just commit yourself already?" "What is so special about this jacket?" " No, you don't wanna know." " God..." "He believes it possesses some extraordinary power over women." "What's that splotch on your hand?" "I got stamped at the reggae lounge last night." "I'm going back there tonight." "I'm not gonna pay another cover charge." "You didn't wash all day?" "Yeah, I washed." "Just not the hand." "You wouldn't believe the women at this club." "Man." "It's amazing how many beautiful women live in New York." "I actually find it kind of intimidating." "You're as pretty as any of them." "Just need a nose job." " Kramer!" " What?" "What?" "How could you say something like that?" "What do you mean?" "I just said she needs a nose job." "No, no." "There's nothing wrong with her nose." " God, I'm so sorry, Audrey." " Oh, it's okay." " What did you have to say that for?" " I was just trying to help out." "Yeah, well, you can kiss that jacket goodbye, Mr. Von Nausen." "You see what happens when you try to be nice?" "But what would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking all the time, whenever it came to them?" "How long would a blind date last?" "About 13 seconds, I think." ""Sorry, your rear end is too big." "Okay, your breath stinks."" ""See you later." "No problem." "Goodbye." "Okay, thank you very much."" "Elaine said I can stay with her another month till Tina gets back." "What are you thinking about?" "Thinking?" "Nothing." "What could I possibly be thinking?" "You look like you've got something on your mind." "Yeah, right." "I wish I had something on my mind." "So how about that Kramer?" "Yeah, how about him?" " The way he just says stuff." " He sure does." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, he's quite a character." "So, what did you think?" "About the pizza?" "No." "About the nose job." "Oh, the nose job." "Yeah..." "I don't know. I..." " Well, what did you think?" " Well, I've thought about it but I don't know." " Yeah." "You know, not that I care one way or the other but these doctors today do amazing things." "If you were so inclined." " And again, I'm not suggesting." " I know." "They're good." "Peter Jennings had one." " Really?" " Probably." "They all do." "In my high school, half my graduating class had them." "Of course, I'm from Long Island, so..." "It's really nothing." "It's like going to the dentist." " I hate the dentist." " It's a cleaning." "So you really think I should do this." "If it makes you happy." "I don't focus on these things." "I will tell you this, though." "Unfortunately we live in a very superficial society." "I don't condone it but it's a fact of life." "Well, maybe I should." " What the hell?" " Now you talked her into a nose job?" " Me?" "I didn't say anything." " You encouraged her to get one." " I didn't encourage." "No encourage." " "Peter Jennings had one"?" "It's possible." " You should accept her for who she is." " No, George is right." " I wanna get one." " I think it's a mistake." "Me too." "Really." "Unless you'd really like one, then..." "I'm going straight to hell." "No two ways about it." "It might not be hell, but you're gonna run into bad dudes." "Get the check." "She takes the bandages off at 4:00." "We have time." "It's exciting." "She's gonna have a new face." " It is exciting." " Not as exciting as Miss Crop Circles." "Please, please." "Isabel?" "She is the most despicable woman I have ever met in my life." "I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time." "It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game." "And I'm letting him win." "You're not letting him win." "He wins till you're 40." " Then what?" " He still wins, but it's not a blowout." "She wants to be an actress." "She makes me read these moronic acting scenes with her, and I do it." "Because I'm so addicted to the sex, I'm helpless." "I'll do anything." "So, finally, Kramer comes in the other day."