"You're traveling through another dimension- a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind, a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination." "Your next stop, the twilight zone." "Rachel, open up in there." "Got my arms full." "Well, old man, what are you hollering about?" "You going to suffocate in there from lack of air." "Why don't you leave the door open?" "I got to keep that dog out of the house somehow- coming in here with his fleas and with his ticks." "Aw, old woman, don't start that commotion up again." "When i go in the house, rip goes, too." "That dog saved my life." "Well... let the ornery thing come in." "And another thing- don't talk about him like that when he can hear you." "Rip's got feelings." "I don't want them hurt." "I'll let him in the house, and i'll feed him, but i'll be switched if i'm going to start sweet-talking him." "Old woman, you tickle me sometimes." "Uh, when's the last time you got yourself kissed?" "Well, the way i figure it, it was in the spring of nineteen and twenty-four." "Well, i figure you got one coming." "Don't you come near me, old man." "Yes, sir, i've been thinking about giving you a kiss for the last month or two." "Oh, hyder, you sit down and eat your supper and stop talking silly." "I'll have my supper now, old woman." "There you are." "Old man... i never said this to you but we have endured powerful well over the years together." "Hmm?" "Nearly 50 years we've been married, eh?" "Come october 16." "Long time to travel together." "Well, i wouldn't have had it any other way." "Thank you, old woman." "Me neither." "Here, rip." "I'll feed that dog after supper." "He ain't going to be here after supper." "Where's he going?" "Where i'm going- coon hunting." "Oh, hyder." "I wish you wouldn't go hunting tonight." "Why not?" "Well, three nights ago, i saw blood on the moon." "You ought to have been in bed sleeping." "You wouldn't have seen it." "And two days ago, a bird flew in the house and lit on your side of the bed and nearly scared me to death." "There you go, trying to spoil a good hunt." "Well, i'm a-going anyways." "Them signs don't bother me at all." "Well, they bother me." "Now, you be careful, old man." "Don't you worry about me, old woman." "I'll be back even before midnight, more'n likely." "An old man and a hound dog named rip off for an evening's pleasure in quest of raccoon." "Usually, these evenings end with one tired old man, one battle-scarred hound dog and one or more extremely dead raccoons, but as you may suspect, that will not be the case tonight." "These hunters won't be coming home from the hill." "They're headed for the backwoods of the twilight zone." "Smell him out there, boy." "He's around here somewheres." "You can get him." "Tree'd him, didn't you, boy?" "Rip, don't want to doubt your word, but there ain't no coon up there." "Trick ya, didn't he, boy?" "Hold it back there, rip." "Come back here, rip!" "Don't go in there!" "I'll pull you out, rip!" "Come back here, rip!" "Hold on, hold on there, rip." "Come back here!" "That coon'll drown you, rip." "That coon's got him down." "Huh!" "I'm coming, rip." "I'm coming, rip, hold it!" "I'm coming!" "Rip... we must have trailed that coon half the night." "Hungry, ain't you, boy?" "Yeah, me, too." "So let's mosey along home and see what rachel's got for breakfast." "That old woman gives us "hail, columbia"" "for staying out all night." "I figure that's about deep enough." "That ain't more than three feet." "Three feet's deep enough for a dog." "Any ordinary dog, maybe, but according to old man simpson, rip ain't no ordinary dog." "Then you dig it." "It'll be kind of lonesome around here without old man simpson." "Morning, boys." "Reckon them miller boys gotten hard of hearing." "What you old boys up to?" "Say, what you doing?" "All right, don't answer me, then." "I don't give a hoot what you're doing." "If i ain't mistaken, you're digging this hole on my land." "Now, if you want to dig, dig on your side of the fence." "Get moving." "I say get moving!" "I ain't talking just to move the wind around." "You get a move on or i'm going to fill your britches full of lead!" "I figure that's just about deep enough." "Have a little care." "It's just a dog." "Not to some folks." "Why didn't you tell me you'd lost a dog?" "How'd it happen?" "Don't reckon i blame you for not talking." "I don't reckon i would myself." "Well, rip, we're butting in on other folks' troubles." "They're just too heartbroke to talk." "And speaking of trouble, that old woman's going to have plenty of that for us." "Come on." "Looks to me like, rip, maybe we got us a stroke of luck." "Could be the old woman's still sleeping." "Morning." "All dressed up like the fourth of july." "Old woman, if you're figuring on leaving me on account on i stayed out all night, you got another thing coming." "Lord be with you, sister." "Amen, brother." "I appreciate your coming, even though he didn't belong to the church." "I just never could get him to go." "I realize brother simpson wasn't a religious man, but i figure he's still entitled to a christian burial." "Now, just..." "just hold everything." "Anybody's going to give brother simpson a burial you'd better ask brother simpson how he feels about it." "I just been sitting here... trying to figure it out." "It was just last night." "He was sitting there at the supper table." "I begged him not to go." "There's been omens." "I've seen signs." "But he went." "The lord works in mysterious ways." "Rachel, listen to me- there's been a misunderstanding." "Miss rachel, if you're ready, ma'am." "Well, he's in there." "Oh... don't take on, old woman." "It's just a dream." "We'll wake up in a little and everything'll be like it ought to be." "What you old boys got in there?" "What you old boys taking out of there?" "Oh!" "Who's in that box?" "We'll find out what all this is about in a minute or two, rip." "The graveyard's just over the top of the hill there." "Now, who in the tarnation built this fence up here?" "Rip, we must have taken a wrong turn." "I don't memorize ever seeing this fence before." "Well, we're bound to come out somewhere." "Hello!" "Anybody home in there?" "Howdy, neighbor." "Howdy." "I wasn't expecting nobody this morning." "Don't want to put you to no trouble, friend, but it seems like i lost my way." "That's what everybody says at first." "Now, what's your name, friend?" "Simpson- hyder simpson." "I belong to that bunch of simpsons lives over on whale's mountain." "Rip and me here- we never have traveled this far before." "Never have traveled so far we couldn't see the top of whale's mountain." "How old are you, neighbor simpson?" "Well, sir, i been walking the earth for something like 70 year now." "Arrived at the gate, uh, 10:45... i know it's none of my business, but would you tell me what you're writing down in that book?" "One more thing, neighbor simpson- how'd you die?" "I was born with a cheap set of ears." "I'm not sure i heard you right." "I said, "how did you die?"" "Who claims i'm dead?" "You wouldn't be here if you wasn't dead." "Man, that's solid flesh and bone there." "You feel that." "Think back, neighbor." "What did you do last night?" "Well, sir, i'll tell you exactly what i done." "Me and rip, we left the house long about suppertime, and rip, he picked up a coon trail right away, and like a coon will, it headed for the water and rip didn't do nothing" "but go in after him." "About that time, i got there, and i was running out on this log and i... hey, friend, what's on the other side of that gate there?" "Well, that pasture right up there they call the elysian field." "Cross that and you come to the golden street that takes you right to the celestial palace where the old master has his headquarters." "Then i take you would aim to be st." "Peter." "I keep the gate, that's a fact." "Well, i'm mighty proud to have met up with you." "Just as proud to have you here." "I always thought there was a lot of singing and dancing in heaven." "How come i don't hear no music?" "You're on the outside." "Once inside, you'll hear your favorite hymn." "Well, i don't care much for hymn singing." "I favor guitar music myself." "Don't stand out here in the cold, cold world." "Reap your heavenly reward." "Come on, rip." "Hold on, neighbor." "You can't take that dog in there." "There ain't no fleas on that dog." "That don't make no nevermind." "He can't come in." "How come?" "This is folks' heaven." "There's a place we can put him, though, up the road." "You just tie him to the fence, and i'll walk him up later on." "Come on, rip." "Hold on, neighbor simpson." "Where do you think you're going?" "Thank you, but i don't reckon in there is any place for me." "Why not?" "Well, any place that's too highfalutin for rip is too fancy for me." "How thoroughbred does a dog have to be before you let him in there, anyway?" "Ain't no dogs allowed at all." "What kind of outfit don't allow no dogs?" "They got that special place for dogs." "Me and rip will go on down there, then." "You won't get in." "The dog, maybe, but not you." "What kind of heaven would it be with just dogs?" "A dog's got a right to have a man around just the same as a man's got a right to have a dog around, if he wants to be happy." "Neighbor, let me make you a little proposition." "Why don't you go on in the gate, and a little later on, i'll slip the dog through the fence to you." "It's breaking the rules, but i'll do it." "Friend peter, if i go in that front gate, rip's going in that front gate likewise." "I don't want him to get to feeling that he ain't welcome." "I got another idea." "What are you doing there, mister?" "I'll hold on to your dog and let you see how you like it." "I don't have to go inside to make up my mind." "Let me ask you a practical question:" "What kind of coon hunting would i have in there without rip?" "Man, they don't allow no coon hunting." "Oh, you don't say." "Where do you think you're going?" "Me and rip's going somewhere." "There ain't no place else to go." "We'll go wherever that road takes us." "Oh, that road don't lead nowhere." "This is eternity road." "It just keeps on, never stops, leads nowhere." "Me and rip'll do all right." "Neighbor, this is a right serious step you're taking." "I'd say the best thing is to sit out there and think it over." "You've got all eternity to make up your mind." "Good day to you, sir." "If you change your mind, just let me know." "Much obliged." "I'll do that." "Eternity's a powerful long spell to go without a coon hunt, ain't it, rip?" "Don't you go off your feed or nothing over this thing." "Wouldn't surprise me none if i don't sneak in there and talk to the judge, or somebody." "Might be able to get you in." "Wonder what kind of a tea party they keep in there, anyways." "Must be city folks, mostly." "They'd be the ones most likely to outlaw coon hunting." "Let them sit in there tootin' on their harps or whatever they do for relaxation, me and youse stays together." "Just like we was when we was traveling down below." "Hmm... least we ain't the only ones wandering around by ourselves on the eternity road." "Howdy, son." "Howdy." "Ah... i'm looking for a mr." "Hyder simpson and a hound dog name of rip." "Well, that's us." "Well, i figured it was." "Well, if you and rip's all set, we might as well mosey along." "Mosey along where?" "Heaven, mr." "Simpson." "Well, now, like i told that other fellow, i ain't going to set foot in heaven without rip." "You didn't get messed up with nobody in there, did you?" "That fellow at the gate." "He wouldn't let rip in, so i didn't go." "Son... that'd be a hell of a place without rip." "Mr. Simpson... you ain't far wrong." "Thatishell." "Heaven's up yonder apiece." "Well, i'll be jiggered." "Now, how come that fellow would want to lie to me?" "Well, they don't never give up." "Always trying to get folks in there right down to the last minute." "Well, what reason would they have for wanting to keep rip out?" "They was a-feared rip would have warned you." "And he would have, time he got a whiff of that brimstone." "You see, mr." "Simpson, a man- well, he'll walk right into hell with both eyes open, but even the devil can't fool a dog." "You wouldn't be st." "Peter, would you?" "Oh, no, no, i... i'm just a regular angel here." "Well, where's your wings, son?" "Shucks, i don't use them half the time." "I appreciate walking myself." "You, uh... about ready to go, mr." "Simpson?" "Uh... uh, rip." "How's the coon hunting up here, boy?" "Oh, just fine, mr." "Simpson." "There's one tonight right after the square dance." "Want to come along?" "Wouldn't miss it for the world." "Welcome to heaven, mr." "Simpson." "Thank you, son." "Right proud to be here." "Uh, rachel- that's my old woman- she won't have any trouble getting past that fellow up the road, will she?" "Rachel?" "No, not her." "And she'll be along directly, too, i'm told." "Well, glad to hear it." "Come along, rip." "Travelers to unknown regions would be well advised to take along the family dog." "He could just save you from entering the wrong gate." "At least, it happened that way once in a mountainous area of the twilight zone." "Rod serling, creator ofthe twilight zone, will tell you about next week's story after this message." "And now, mr." "Serling." "Next week we offer you a hollywood television cowboy who takes in several bills a week for killing off bad men." "Mr. Larry blyden portrays one of these phony balonies who always wins in the end." "But in this little item he draws from the hip and realizes his opponent is smack-dab out of this world." "We invite your attention to "showdown with rance mcgrew,"" "next week's stagecoach sojourn in the twilight zone." "This is an age of amazing feats, and the fuel that has kept us going is faith." "Worship together this week."