"NARRATOR:" "In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court... for a crime they didn't commit." "These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade... to the Los Angeles underground." "Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune." "If you have a problem, if no one else can help... and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team." "[Theme music]" "[Slow instrumental music]" "Gentlemen, there is not a man in this room who hasn't been hit by the A-Team." "My own son is in prison." "And we have all lost men... entire operations, smuggling networks, profit centers." "And most of us, in our dealings with these men... have received a personal message of farewell from their leader, Col. Smith." "So we all agreed to do something about Mr. Smith and his friends." "We decided to hire the best." "Douglas Kyle." "Finest mercenary money can buy." "Mr. Kyle has agreed to exterminate the A-Team... before it costs any of us another setback." "KYLE:" "Gentlemen, I'm not going to waste your time." "The men I've assembled are the best." "You know my credentials, or I wouldn't be here." "I get the job done and then I get out." "Lights." "[Ominous instrumental music]" "This was done to a Cambodian village by one man." "He worked at night with basic weapons." "He's an Alaskan." "His name is John Sharphook." "He doesn't understand fear like you and I do." "London insurance office, 1981." "Handiwork of Joseph King." "Freelance assignment for the I.R.A." "He's an expert at disguise and he's the world's finest covert explosives man." "Learned jungle fighting in South America." "His parents were Dutch missionaries." "They were wiped out in a tribal raid when he was six." "Jackie Hoffer." "Worked extensively with him in South America." "Lights, please." "That's it, gentlemen." "$1 million per man." "Payable now." " In full." " How fast can you do this?" "Like I said, I get in and I get out." "What's it gonna be?" "Come on!" "Move!" "Face, you're dead last." "You know what that means?" "That means you're dead." "Come on, move it!" " Obstacle course next." "Let's go." " What happened to lunch?" "I guess it's too late to ask you guys... to bust me back into the V.A.?" "[Tense instrumental music]" "[Tense instrumental music continues]" "Man!" "I'm glad that's over." "Man, I'm telling you, I feel like a million bucks." "There is nothing like pain and anguish to give a man self-respect." " I noticed Face lagging a bit, though." " What?" " He's right, Face." " Thanks a lot, Murdock." "That will cost you two miles into town, and two miles back." "But I'll be easy on you, I'll give you 32 minutes." "Come on, Hannibal, that's ridiculous." "This is training." "On the last two jobs... we were all sloppy, and it's gonna get worse unless we get in shape." "You know the rule." "The guy who comes in last has got to do extra running." "You know, Hannibal, I hate to admit it... but I thought Face was beginning to look good." "By the time we finish, he'll look spectacular." "Well, I'll telling you, I feel so good..." "I could do this whole course again." "MURDOCK:" "Lunch is for crybabies." "HANNIBAL:" "Is that right?" "Let's do it again before we eat." "Follow me." "You better start making friends with the worms." "B.A.:" "You made me an hour late for lunch." "No pain, no gain." "Last one in is a bowl of bird biscuits!" "[Horn honking]" "[Tense instrumental music]" "MILKMAN:" "There you are." "I've been honking like crazy." "I thought you weren't home." "I got your milk order here." "MILKMAN:" "It looks like you fellas have been hitting it pretty hard today." "No, just a light workout." "I got to tell you guys, I never saw a milk order like this." "You must have one hell of a big kitty around here." "We love milk." "Correction, O Baracan One." "You like milk." "For a hardened professional like the soldier, the basic moo-juice... just won't win the war." "Shut up, fool, and grab this other one." "Negative." "I got to stay lean and light and ready to fight." "[B.A. groaning]" "MURDOCK:" "Don't turn your back." "The soldier will get you." "[Fast-paced instrumental music]" "Milk is delivered." "I just saw Peck out on a run." "He's going down the road towards town." "We can go on him right now." "Out." "[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]" "[Romantic instrumental music]" "Hi." "[Upbeat instrumental music]" "FACE:" "Nice place." "Did you ever see Psycho?" "Come in, and I'll fix you a drink." "Gee, I'd love to, really, but I just can't right now." "You know, I'm in training." "Sort of." "But I want to thank you for the ride." "Maybe I'll see you again sometime." "Aren't you awful thirsty?" "Thirsty?" "Yeah." "Well, it is kind of hot." "[Face clears throat]" "[Ominous instrumental music]" "Guess checkout time's been moved up." "HANNIBAL:" "Face has been gone more than an hour and a quarter." "HANNIBAL:" "That's 45 minutes longer than it should've been." "B.A.:" "Not even Face would take this long on a run." "It must be Decker and his bad-guy radar." "What's the hap, Colonel?" "What do you wanna do?" "We're going on the assumption we're under attack." "Face knows how strict the rule is... about not being in contact for more than 30 minutes." "HANNIBAL:" "He'd get through to us if there is any way he could." "We'll go look for him." "Keep radio contact." "Every hour on the hour, every 30 minutes." "If we don't find him, we'll be sure that somebody is after us." "We'll come back here and set up a 24-hour patrol." "[Groans in pain]" " Something wrong, Sergeant?" " No." "I'll be just fine." "I must have drank the milk a bit too fast, you know, after all that working out." "Murdock, you grab the Vette and head east." "B.A. and I'll take the van and head back to town." "Let's go, Sergeant." "[Continues groaning]" "Milk must have been colder than I thought, but I'll be fine." "B.A.:" "Let's go find Face." "MURDOCK:" "Let me give you a hand, soldier." "All right, I won't touch you." "But I want you to know... that I know what you're going through." "The soldier has tangled with some pretty hairy unfriendlies during his hitch." "I'll be there for you." "And that's not just some guy looking for a Purple Heart." "Dig?" "Excuse me!" "Excuse me, sir, but did you happen to see a man jogging down this road?" "Yeah." "I saw a guy running west, towards town." "Hugh Hefner type." "real slick." "He came back in a little later with a girl in a red Ferrari." "MAN:" "Man, I'm talking about some kind of woman." "Picked up some takeout and took off." "Like they're going on a honeymoon or something." "A red Ferrari." "Man, and you thought he was out of shape." "[Murdock whistling]" "MURDOCK:" "Here, Face, where are you, boy?" "[Dog whimpering]" "[Sentimental instrumental music]" "MURDOCK:" "How you doing, buddy?" "You okay?" "Some jerk hit you and drove off?" "Don't you worry, cowpoke." "MURDOCK:" "Old Doc Murdock's gonna take good care of you." "You and me are gonna have a good time." "HOFFER:" "Hold it right there." "[Tense instrumental music]" "[King whistling]" "[Dog barking]" "I see, it's the old whimpering-whippet-by-the-roadside gag." "See if I stop for your brothers and sisters..." "You got something up your nose." "[Intense instrumental music]" ""Koochy. " Something tells me she ain't no PhD." "Looks like that's our chariot of fire, all right." "Koochy or no Koochy, we'll watch it." "This could be a Decker trap." " Going someplace?" " What is this?" "Listen, all I got is traveler's checks." "You creeps busted down the wrong door." "HANNIBAL:" "I don't think so." "I think a good friend of mine and you know each other very well." "You met him running on the highway." "Amorous type, handsome, smiles a lot." "Leave that alone!" "B.A." "There's about $8,000 in here." "And it isn't traveler's checks." "Looks like a payoff for setting up Face." "We know who Colonel Decker is, so why don't you just give him a ring... and tell him we're all in here?" "I don't know any Colonel anybody." "[Groaning in pain]" "What's with him?" "HANNIBAL:" "Maybe you make him sick." "Look... why don't you just tell us who did take our friend if it wasn't Decker?" "Look, they're real rough." "There were four of them." "They said I had one hour to leave... and they'd kill me if I said a word." "Look, you seem like a semi-nice girl... under all that greed and makeup." "Let me give you some advice." "Don't lie to me." "It's not nice to lie to me." "Look, all I know is they wanted me to pick him up and bring him here... no questions asked." "They said I'd get paid, and that's it." "Let's go, B.A." "If I were you..." "I'd get in that car and disappear, lady." "[Groans in pain]" " You're getting worse." " What about you?" "Like a gutful of razor blades." "I'll drive." "We both need a doctor." "Mr. Kyle!" "SHARPHOOK:" "You make a sound, and I chew you up." "Does that include all sounds or just words?" "Sometimes, when I'm nervous, I make this little sound in my throat." "Is this your house, guy?" "It's a dynamic pad." "I always wanted a house where I could stage a rodeo." "SHARPHOOK:" "You don't listen, do you?" "MURDOCK:" "I could learn." "Mr. Kyle, the people who work for me been asking what's going on." "They wanna know why they can't do their work at this end of the place?" " No problem." "Take care of it." " It's not that easy." "It is, if you want us to let your wife and kid live through this." "I've been meaning to ask you." "When can I talk to them again?" "Are they all right?" "My kid was coming down with something." "Let me call them, just a minute or so." "Please!" "You're whining, Harper." "You'll talk to them when I say you can." "Just do your job." "Jogman!" "I see you in the clutches of the cow people, too." " Don't worry, we'll find a way out." " Not this time, Peck." "This whole place is booby-trapped, but you don't know where." "Could be in the leg of your chair." "Floorboards." "Maybe even the doorknob." "Someplace you'll never think of." "I'd like to see you try, Peck." "I'd like to see it happen." "You will." "But not till we've got all four." "That's the deal we made." "Thanks for your support." "Send our best to the Third Reich." "Those creeps show up at my Christmas party this year..." "I'm out of eggnog, know what I mean." " Are you the only one they got?" " Yeah." "That's good." "I'm starting to worry." "They're taking us out here one at a time." "Yeah, it's working." "Two down, and two and a half to go." "Did you check this place out when they brought you in?" "Yeah." "Double-duty stronghold... fenced in, set out in a wide open area." "How did they get you?" "I hate to admit it." "They lured me with a girl." "FACE:" "I felt so easy." "MURDOCK:" "Could be worse." "I fell for a dog." " Well, at least mine was pretty." " I fell for a dog." "I can't figure out how they think they're gonna get B.A." "He can't be hurt." "The man is indestructible." "HANNIBAL:" "Got a sick man here, Doctor." "I think he's been poisoned." "Let me help you." "Bring him to the table." "Turn around." "[B.A. groaning in pain]" "You have any idea what it might have been?" "Milk." " He drank a lot of milk." " Did you drink any of that milk?" "[Dramatic instrumental music]" "HANNIBAL:" "Get your hands off him, Doctor... unless you wanna start healing thyself." "HANNIBAL:" "Either you're a kleptomaniac for gold watches... or you've been moonlighting as a wrong milkman." "HANNIBAL:" "Now get your hands up." "KING:" "You don't have a prayer, Smith." "You drank some of that milk." "I can see it on you." "I save my prayers for Sunday." "Now you help my friend up there." "You're gonna help me get him outside." "[Dramatic instrumental music]" "KYLE:" "What happened?" "Get Baracus out of here and in the other car." "I'll go after Smith!" "[Fast-paced instrumental music]" "Reflex, this is Hammer." "Reflex, this is Hammer." "Do you read?" "Come on, Murdock." "Where are you?" "Reflex, we have a Red Robin Code One." "Do you read?" "Repeat, Red Robin Code One." "[Tense instrumental music]" "[Groaning in pain]" "[Intense instrumental music]" "TAWNIA:" "Are you okay?" "HANNIBAL:" "There's a doctor... at Bad Rock." "Named Maggie Sullivan." "Get her here." "Hurry." "[Intense instrumental music intensifies]" "Hannibal?" "HannibaI, are you there?" "MAGGIE:" "That's good." "MAGGIE:" "Pupils are starting to respond normally." "[Tense instrumental music]" "Hannibal?" "MAGGIE:" "Can you hear me?" "It's Maggie Sullivan." "I'm here with Tawnia." "Maggie." "I'm glad you made it." "I remember saying I'd be glad to see you... but this is not exactly what I had in mind." "I'm full of surprises." " I got poisoned." "B.A., too." " I know." "I took a blood sample, Tawnia took it to the lab while you were unconscious." "It was a very strong sedative." "They didn't want to kill you, just turn you into a sitting duck." "It was the milk." "B.A. drank five glasses of it." "Now, you got to get me on my feet." "Hannibal, I..." "Come on." "TAWNIA:" "It's hard to believe anybody could waylay you like this." "They were smart." "They got us one at a time." " But they didn't get you." " No, I was lucky." "Won't you call the police?" "They've kidnapped three people." "Yeah." "All three of whom are wanted by the same police..." "HANNIBAL: as well as me." "MAGGIE:" "All right, sit down." "[Hannibal groaning]" "MAGGIE:" "You're not gonna get through this as fast as you think... no matter how indestructible you think you are." "Yeah, I guess." "I'll go to my office and get the antidote." "That way they'll get through it a lot faster." "Smith's harder to pin than I thought he'd be." "But he's got to show up soon." "If he isn't too sick, he'll try to spring his friends, then we'll have all four." "Would you stick your stomach out so I can get a shot at that moon you got?" "B.A.:" "I ain't fit, man." "B.A.:" "If the chair falls back on me, fool, I'll kill you." "Don't worry about that." "Just stick it out." "B.A., will you just stick it out?" "MURDOCK:" "Home!" "You broke my chain, fool!" "Stop fussing." "It was turning yellow anyway." "Okay, Face, back-to-back." " You got it?" " Yeah, I got it." "All right, spread them." "FACE:" "Howdy." "What have you done to our friend here?" "Nice stick." "Did you buy it or are you just leasing?" "Tell me where Smith's gone to ground." "You know what's funny?" "I keep getting the feeling I know your boss from somewhere." "Who is he?" "His name is Kyle." "I heard someone outside call him that." "Kyle." "He was written up in that fascist gung-ho magazine..." "The professional Soldier, right?" "The one that advertises those crazies for hire." "He was the nut-of-the-month centerfold." "I bet you were runner-up, right?" "Now, you're gonna go first." "It's only fair." "You know where the booby traps are, right?" " You're never gonna get out of here." " Don't be so negative." "Look how well we're doing already." "Move a muscle, and your friend here goes airmail." "[Tense instrumental music]" "You know as well as me, that's a pressure mine." "You take your foot off, no matter what you do... it'll be the last thing you do." " I couldn't leave you standing there." " Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." "I've wanted to get some time to myself anyway." " Where is Smith, Peck?" " You know, that's the beauty of it." "I haven't got the slightest idea." "I never do, really." "He's a real mystery." "A walking riddle." "He might start dropping bombs on you guys... and on the other hand, he might show up as a nun." "I can't tell." "And I know him just about as well as anybody else." "Yeah, he's really quite mystical." "Get a can of milk and put it on this plate." "Get them both inside." "You got lucky, that's all." "Heavy." "HANNIBAL:" "Now look at that face." "There is a face you can trust." "Get a shot of that nice-looking one over there." "I can't believe I'm taking pictures of cows." " I've got 40 shots." "We're ready." " Yes, we are." "HANNIBAL:" "We?" "I have to give B.A. the antidote, and I'm gonna take care of you." "Okay, kid, let's go." "GATEMAN:" "Good afternoon." "What can I do for you?" "Afternoon." "Why don't you direct me to Mr. Harper?" "My name is Casper Patterson." "Patterson and Patterson, we sell cows." "HANNIBAL:" "What's your name?" "Salesmen need an appointment." "Appointment?" "You must be new here." "GATEMAN:" "I can't let you in without an appointment." "I talked to Harper last Tuesday." "He said:" ""Come on over, let's see what you got. "" "Look at those girls, boy." "Best breeding cows on this coast." "HANNIBAL:" "You got a peculiar look on your face, son." " Is something wrong around here?" " No, sir." "Must have put up some new fences." "Looks like a maze." "Point your finger, I ain't no Canadian rat." "You go to this first building and take a left." " It's right there." " Much obliged." "TAWNIA:" "Why are we going to Harper's office?" "We have to find out where they're hiding the team." "You wait here." "HARPER:" "Kendall, would you come in here?" "HANNIBAL: 5:00, Mr. Harper." " She's probably left for the day." " Who are you?" "Gandhi." "HANNIBAL:" "And this is my personal protest." "Three of my associates are being held here against their will." "I don't know anything about all this stuff." "HANNIBAL:" "Try again, Mr. Harper." "This is your business." "You know what goes on around here." "Look." "They kidnapped my wife, my daughter." "HARPER:" "They're being held hostage." "[Hannibal sighs slowly]" "All right, Mr. Harper." "I believe you." "Where are we here on your aerial map?" "I have a chance of getting your wife and daughter back safely... if I can get my men out." "Where are we?" "We're here." "They're being held hostage here." "HANNIBAL:" "Is the place booby-trapped?" "HARPER:" "I think so." "Kyle's capable of anything." "I wouldn't put it past him." "Kyle?" " Douglas Kyle?" " Do you know him?" " Then you got to know he is crazy." " Yes, he is." "Sit down on that chair, Mr. Harper." "I'll tie you up." "When Kyle finds you, you just tell him I caught you by surprise." "We'll keep your wife and daughter safe." "Get hold of the Doc back at our base, make sure she's ready." "Wait here." "When the truck blows, meet us outside that door I showed you." " Right, Hannibal." " Good girl." "[Fast-paced instrumental music]" "[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]" "It's gonna blow!" "Sounds like World War V." "Man, that sounds like Hannibal." "[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]" "[B.A. groaning]" "Nice entrance." "Very nice." "[Tense instrumental music]" "Take a couple aspirins and call me in the morning." "HARPER:" "What was I gonna do?" "He had a gun on me." "Harper, if we don't get them back, you're gonna wish he'd killed you outright." "KYLE:" "And it's gonna be even worse for your wife and daughter." "[Phone ringing]" "HARPER:" "Yeah?" "HANNIBAL:" "Mr. Harper?" "We'll get your family back for you so don't fall apart." "Now let me talk to one of those sleazeballs, I know is standing next to you." "Who is this?" "HANNIBAL:" "Is this Douggie Kyle?" "Crazy old Douggie?" "How is things, aside from being homicidal?" "What do you want, Smith?" "I thought I'd call and tell you... you guys looked like you lost your knitting out there today." "You were supposed to be good." "Yeah, well, it's not over yet." "HANNIBAL:" "Yeah?" "We got a little proposition for you." "How would you like to come over here... and try us out when we know you're coming?" "KYLE:" "No deal." "HANNIBAL:" "Okay." "It's up to you." "But in six hours we're out of here, other side of the world." "Now you and I both know you can't afford that." "You know where we are." "And bring your own tourniquets." " We're ready." " Kyle, this is pointless." " We're walking right into a trap." " I make the rules." "We finish this job and we finish it now." "Anybody doesn't want to come along, hangs it right here." "We'll do it Kyle's way." "SHARPHOOK:" "But if this goes wrong, Kyle, then there are no rules." "You and I will settle." "[Suspenseful instrumental music]" "[Dramatic instrumental music]" "[Suspenseful instrumental music]" "[Adventurous instrumental music]" "HANNIBAL:" "Face, I'm in the middle." "I think Kyle knows where I am." "Face, can you read me?" "Kyle's got a lead on me." "Is this Douggie Kyle?" "Crazy old Douggie?" "Hoff!" "[Suspenseful instrumental music]" "[Dramatic instrumental music]" "Good guys two, bad guys zilcharooney." "[Tense instrumental music]" "[Adventurous instrumental music]" "Close, sucker." "But not enough." "[Adventurous instrumental music continues]" "[Triumphant instrumental music]" "All right." "What did you do with Mrs. Harper and Harper's kid?" "They are in an equipment shed." "At Harper's place." "Great idea." "How did you ever think of that?" "Next time you think you wanna take somebody out, pal... don't just get yourself a good squad... get yourself a team." "I can't thank you people enough for saving my wife and child." " Mr. Harper, it was a pleasure." " Except for my stomach aches." "What's a little typhoon in your mainspring... when you get a chance to put away a clod like Kyle and his buddies forever?" "It's weird." "The guy gets sick as sin... and he still puts away that stuff like a calico in July." "It is called concentration, amigo." "Some men walk on hot coals, some eat glass... some climb Mount Everest, others drink milk." "It is the way of the universe." "That's very deep, Murdock." "Did we ever find out why those men went after you guys, Hannibal?" "Yes." "A big foreign syndicate wanted revenge... because we messed up too many of their plans." " Don't you love it?" " No." "I'm just glad you all survived." "Speaking of survival, how many days of training we got left, guys?" "As many as it takes, buster, if you're a man." "I bet you're gonna be a good Samaritan, right?" "Give us the next five days off on account of... we've made up for them with this real experience." "You're close." "Ladies." "I'm gonna let you guys run back to the base." "B.A.:" "Hannibal, I got a belly full of milk, man!" "Now that's not funny, Hannibal." "Let us in the van." "As they say in Fairbanks, "Mush!"" "The van will follow so you don't get lost." " Captain." " Colonel." "What's the matter?" "You too old?" "[Comical instrumental music]" "Bye-bye." "[Laughing]" "[Theme music]"