"ZACH:" "I bet you're wondering why I called you here this morning." "See, in the criminal justice system, the State can't put a person on trial on my say-so alone." "As Deputy Attorney General, I present you with the evidence." "You, the grand jury, decide if we proceed to trial." "You will see evidence of an attorney's behavior that crossed the line from flamboyant to criminal." "You will see attorney misconduct so egregious that today, a registered sex offender, a man who admitted to killing a 12-year-old boy, is walking the streets a free man." "And that's why I feel confident to return a felony indictment for subornation of perjury and jury tampering against this lawyer, Elizabeth Canterbury." "♪ All these demons" "♪ Come as the past" "♪ Yeah, this heavy heart of mine" "♪ Sinking low down, down, down" "♪ This heavy heart of mine ♪" "LIZ:" "You first." "(MATT GROANS)" "MATT:" "Why can't we just stay like this all day?" "(LAUGHS) I can, but you can't." "Hmm." "Why not?" "Someone has to teach those students to think like lawyers." "What time is it?" "Oh!" "I gotta go." "(GIGGLES)" "Save me some hot water." "This was big stuff, wasn't it, Officer Callahan?" "Hell, it even had its own name." "The Heidi bandit." "Cute." "Catchy." "A lady bank robber sells papers." "Let's just be clear." "It wasn't possible to see the robber's face on the videotape made by the bank security cameras, was it?" "No." "She wore a mask." "CALLAHAN:" "All that was visible were her blonde pigtails." "Ergo, Heidi." "Tell us, Officer." "When you arrested my client, two weeks after the robbery, was her hair in pigtails then?" "No." "But she was blonde." "Ooh!" "Ought to be a law, right?" "Did you arrest every blonde that you saw over that two-week period?" "Your client was sitting in the parking lot of another bank." "I suspected she was casing it for another robbery." "When I searched the trunk, I found a gun and a ski mask." "The real issue here is whether you had probable cause to search her car in the first place." "I've already ruled on this, Ms. Canterbury." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I forgot." "Being blonde in the state of Rhode Island means you kiss your constitutional rights goodbye." "Objection." "LIZ:" "Withdrawn." "Officer Callahan, have you ever said to yourself," ""He just looks guilty."" "Sure." "Arrested him?" "Yeah." "Was he convicted?" "CALLAHAN:" "Some were, some weren't." "So, sometimes you were wrong." "Sometimes those who looked guilty weren't." "Your client had the mask and the gun in the trunk..." "Yes or no?" "Yes." "One last question." "How many of those acquitted were blonde?" "(JURY LAUGHING)" "Elizabeth." "You mind?" "Go ahead." "Yeah?" "Same." "BARTENDER:" "You got it." "You don't even know what I'm having." "After five hours in a grand jury," "I don't care." "BARTENDER:" "There you go." "Well, I hope it was a nice, juicy, class A felony." "Matter of fact, I think you would have liked this one." "Unfortunately, what happens in the grand jury stays in the grand jury." "Well, good luck to you." "More clients for me." "The Heidi bandit?" "How do these people find you?" "I'm just glad that they do." "Mmm." "You know, this is nice." "Me, you." "Two traveling pilgrims, resting their weary souls at the Tabard." "The Tabard?" "What, did you Google me and end up on a Chaucer site?" "Hey, I read a book now and again." "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "Fast jury." "Yeah?" "Be right there." "Uh-uh." "On me." "That's so unlike you, Zach." "Mmm." "I'm feeling generous." "Go get your verdict." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "(KNOCK ON DOOR)" "God." "(BANGING ON DOOR)" "All right." "All right." "Hold on." "Who is it?" "(BANGING CONTINUES)" "God." "What do you want?" "Mr. Angstrom?" "Let me check my driver's license." "We have a warrant to search the premises, Mr. Angstrom." "FRANK:" "For what?" "Wait a minute." "For what, guys?" "Hey." "Seriously." "She's legal, by the way." "(PHONE DIALING)" "(RINGING)" "Son of a bitch." "Who made this coffee?" "The thing is, Russell, coffee's supposed to be hot." "You know what?" "Screw it." "Let's sue." "We're insured." "Put some cold water on it, and if you trip on the way to the sink, make sure you break a rib or a collarbone." "We're talking windfall." "Don't you have a trial to get ready for?" "Free Heidi!" "Which leads me to..." "She's coming tomorrow with the checkbook." "Guys, I got a new one." "When a lawyer dies, why do they bury him 30 feet under the ground?" "Okay." "We'll give." "'Cause deep down, they really are nice guys." "Yo, I killed on open mike night with that." "Call Annabeth." "Tell her anytime tomorrow's good." "Okay." "Hey, Chester." "Your old man called." "Yeah, take a message." "I did." "He says it's important." "You know, at my last job, the lawyers all hated each other." "We're one big happy family." "Yeah, I was out of there as soon as the in-house shrink showed up." "Oh!" "Hey, your bar review tutor called." "I thought you took the bar already." "(WHISPERING) Not so loud." "Your secret's safe." "There's no secret." "Of course." "Now?" "But I..." "Okay, so does anyone besides me think Martin's a little too friendly?" "Are you okay?" "Something's come up." "I have to go." "Family?" "Cover for me in court." "His name's Artie Flom." "He sells Christian literature." "He's wanted for operating a vehicle under the influence." "Just stand there and ask for an adjournment." "But what if the judge won't..." "It's what happens when you pass the bar." "So act like a lawyer." "Hey, Russ." "Hey, how are you on Article 9?" "It wasn't my favorite." "Yeah." "Me neither." "Well, Mel Kreiger just declared bankruptcy, and we're his biggest creditor." "I'm sorry." "This isn't your problem." "So..." "So Chester wants me to fill in for him in court today." "Yeah?" "Congratulations." "I'm sorry I can't be there to cheer you on." "(INTERCOM BEEPS)" "Yeah?" "Mel." "You're the exact person I need to talk to." "Yeah, I got..." "I got half of it." "No." "No, no, no." "That's okay." "Hey, Liz." "That's unbelievable on the Heidi bandit." "Yeah." "You win some." "Yeah." "So, Chester handed off his trial to me." "Oh?" "First-time jitters?" "You'll get your sea legs after your first witness." "Second, tops." "I don't know, Liz." "Hey, I only took the case to give Chester more court time experience." "His loss has just turned into your gain." "I don't think you understand." "My first time, it was fine after I finished puking." "Two words of advice." "One, do not eat Mexican before a trial." "And two, whatever happens, you get to go home and we get paid." "It'd be nice if you'd answer your phone every once in a while." "It's you who's been calling." "(CHUCKLES)" "Liz, the cops searched both my apartment and my office." "They had a warrant, but they confiscated some files." "I'll get you a good lawyer." "What'd you do this time?" "They said it was something about wiretapping, but I'm pretty sure, from what they seized, it was about you." "Me?" "What did I do?" "Well, other than making Zach Williams look like an ass in court..." "Well, he is an ass, in and out of court." "And they took the Foster case file." "Ethan Foster was acquitted." "Last I looked, double jeopardy." "Liz, listen to me." "They took the file on Patti Murphy." "Better known as Juror Number Seven." "PATTI:" "Sorry." "I don't know him." "Never saw him in your life?" "Nope." "Not that I remember." "ZACH:" "Okay." "Now, during the week that you sat as Juror Number Seven for the Ethan Foster murder trial, did you visit the doctor?" "The judge adjourned early one day." "My sinuses were killing me." "You still don't recognize him?" "His name is Frank Angstrom." "PATTI:" "Sorry." "He was in Dr. Boyton's office at the same time you were." "I was sick." "I really wasn't looking at the other patients." "He wasn't a patient." "Do you know how I know that?" "Because Rita, Dr. Boyton's receptionist, told me so." "She said she thought you two were there together." "Why..." "Why do you suppose she would say that?" "Maybe I do remember talking to him." "Rita told our investigator that you two left together." "Why do you want to ruin my life?" "Why are you lying to this grand jury?" "I'm married." "So you're saying that you two were intimate." "It's the first time..." "Did he tell you that he was a private investigator that worked for Elizabeth Canterbury?" "Of course not." "He did talk about the trial with you." "PATTI:" "I didn't even know his real name." "Did you talk about the trial with him, Mrs. Murphy?" "He wanted to know what direction we were leaning in the case." "ZACH:" "Which was?" "We didn't believe Ethan Foster's alibi." "So what, if anything, unexpected happened in the trial the following day?" "Mrs. Murphy?" "If I had known..." "No, answer the question, Mrs. Murphy." "The lawyer..." "Elizabeth Canterbury." "She put Ethan Foster on the stand." "He said he had been lying about his alibi all along." "So, the defendant changed his story after you told Ms. Canterbury's private investigator that the jury wasn't buying it." "Now, if you're interested, what Canterbury did is called subornation of perjury." "Steroids are against the rules, which makes it cheating." "So's a spitball, but they still put Gaylord Perry in the hall of fame, didn't they?" "Nothing wrong with a little cheating, as long as you don't get caught." "No way to live your life." "No." "No, it isn't." "Unless, of course, it's essential you win." "(SIGHS)" "The problem, my friend, is, what goes around..." "That's a subpoena to testify in front of the grand jury investigating Elizabeth Canterbury." "Drink up, pal." "Next one's on me." "MAN:" "Yeah, he was there with Mr. Gooden." "They were definitely having a good time." "As in, they were drinking?" "It was a bar, and it was Mr. Gooden's birthday." "Mr. Flom was celebrating with him?" "Him and three, four other guys." "Do you recall what time Mr. Flom left your bar?" "10:15." "I was just going on break." "No further questions, Your Honor." "Um..." "The defense asks the court to reconsider its motion for an adjournment." "You don't give up, do you?" "No, Your Honor." "JUDGE:" "Neither do I. Motion denied again." "Cross-examine or forever hold your peace." "Um... (STUTTERING)" "Was Mr. Flom drunk when..." "KLEIN:" "Objection." "Calls for a conclusion." "JUDGE:" "Sustained." "Was he acting odd..." "KLEIN:" "Objection." "Sustained." "Did any of the other customers complain..." "Objection." "Calls for hearsay." "JUDGE:" "Sustained." "That's strike three, counselor." "Was Mr. Flom acting any differently than he's acted on any of the other occasions when you served him drinks?" "I watch a lot of Law and Order." "You might want to consider going pro Se, Mr. Flom." "Any objection, Mr. Klein?" "I object." "Congratulations." "Your tuition wasn't a complete waste." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Hey!" "Look who's here." "My reason for getting up in the morning." "Henry, come here." "Shake hands with my son." "Hi." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "Summa cum laude at Howard U." "Top two percent of his class at Georgetown Law." "Small class." "Listen, be good to him, Henry." "He's on the road to judge." "I'm in a rush, Dad." "Moving and shaking, huh?" "Come on." "Come in." "Don't you ever get tired of that?" "No, I don't." "Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be in court, so I'd appreciate..." "A successful man kibitzes..." "CHESTER:" "Good-bye." "Your boss is about to self-destruct." "Listen, in my position, I hear things." "Zach Williams is presenting to the grand jury, as we speak." "For what?" "I don't know." "Something to do with that Ethan Foster case." "Canterbury's going down, and everybody around her is going along for the ride." "Listen." "I can make a call, get you in at Merriweather Marx." "You never give up, do you?" "I'm sorry you can't brag about me to the boys at the club, but this is my life." "Excuse me." "But even a rat knows when it's time to haul his butt overboard." "(SIGHS)" "Is it true?" "What are we talking about?" "Damn it, Russell, this is my future, too." "So Liz isn't being investigated by a grand jury?" "It's an old AG trick, you know?" "Put fear into the defense bar, try and keep them in line." "Besides, I second-seated Liz on the Ethan Foster case." "Do I look worried?" "No, you don't." "But I didn't mention the Ethan Foster case." "Nice!" "A '61 Haut-Brion." "It's not our anniversary." "MATT:" "We're celebrating your verdict." "It was all over the news." "To kicking butt." "Thank you." "Free Heidi." "Now, I want to talk about something, and I want you to think about it before you react." "You got tickets to the Yankee-Sox game?" "No, I'm trying to be serious." "You got me those passes to the designer trunk show?" "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "Forget it." "Honey, come on." "I'm just screwing with you." "You know I'm game for anything." "Oh." "Sorry." "We can't go on ignoring the pink elephant in the room, Beth." "I know." "You're right." "I want to have a funeral for Sam." "He's not coming home." "And without giving up hope, we have to accept that and try to move on." "Some maniac took our son, Matt." "Where exactly do you propose we move on to?" "All right." "Forget I brought it up." "Look, I know what you're trying to do." "But having some phony ritual isn't going to make us forget." "It's not a phony ritual." "Oh, baby." "Time." "That's all we need, is time." "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "What we need is to stop jumping every time the phone rings." "(RINGING CONTINUES)" "See?" "I'm not jumping." "Just promise me you'll leave that phone home Thursday night." "Just me in my skimpiest." "Maybe it won't be so horrible." "Come on." "We'll have fun." "Besides, I like being scrutinized." "Yes." "I noticed." "I'll be the perfect little wife." "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "(RINGING CONTINUES)" "FRANK:" "I won't testify." "He'll nail you for contempt." "I'll lie." "Ask Scooter Libby how well that worked out for him." "You just love this, don't you?" "Coming in on your white horse, saving the damsel in distress." "Actually, I just love being thanked." "By you." "You know, the Ethan Foster case was the first time I've ever..." "You don't have to explain to me." "You did what you had to do." "KATE:" "Even if they realize that he's lying, you still can't prove that she put him up to it." "Res ipsa loquiter." "The thing does not speak for itself." "Canterbury finds out from Frank that her horse is stuck in the gate." "She jumps on another one midstream." "Yeah, but you still can't prove that she sent Frank to go seduce a juror." "I'm just getting started." "ZACH:" "When did Ms. Canterbury decide to let you testify, Mr. Foster?" "It was my idea." "Oh." "Of course it was." "Of course it was." "But she did tell you what to say, didn't she?" "Right?" "Mr. Foster?" "I told the truth." "When you testified that Scott Jasper's father beat him?" "That's right." "So what you're saying is that your mom and dad lied when they signed statements under oath, saying that you were asleep the night of the murders." "It would be wonderful, wouldn't it, Mr. Foster, if you could have it both ways?" "KATE:" "Thanks." "Here you go." "Mmm." "Bribing a public official." "Better impanel a grand jury." "You know I can't say anything, Russell." "I think you just did." "Look, if it were up to me..." "How bad is it?" "I shouldn't be talking to you." "Oh, right." "Two old friends talking." "Two former colleagues." "Zach might indict us." "Zach is Zach." "Nobody knows that better than you, right, Katie?" "Look, what do you want from me?" "You know Zach's not going to overlook two felony counts." "Canterbury's his golden goose." "Kate." "Two felonies?" "You didn't hear that from me." "Done." "How bad?" "It's really bad." "Buy me lunch." "I'm just going to say this." "I'm being investigated by the grand jury." "I know." "So do I." "Well, aren't I the jerk?" "Oh." "Well, at least one of us is earning her keep." "Look, it's not like I shot anyone." "Zach Williams just thinks I crossed the line in the Ethan Foster case." "Okay, I did." "But it was only to prevent Ethan Foster from going to prison for the rest of his life for something he didn't do." "And if you must know, I would do the exact same thing again tomorrow." "He can't prove anything, right?" "Well, okay, then." "It's not the end of the world." "I mean, sure, an indictment's bad, but it's a long way from conviction." "I'll start researching a motion to dismiss tomorrow." "Excuse me, but you have a trial to finish." "What can I say?" "Artie Flom likes you." "I've already started drafting the papers." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "(LIZ CLEARS THROAT)" "Look, if anyone wants to bail, I will totally understand." "It's a lot worse than you think." "Don't worry." "I will testify under oath that you had no idea what I was doing." "Sure, why not add a perjury count to the indictment?" "Okay, you're angry." "I get it." "And if I were you, I would resign and get as far away from me as you can." "That's right. 'Cause I'm just a flunky with a degree on the wall who's on a need-to-know basis." "You know what pisses me off?" "What?" "You think I would just turn my back, abandon you." "You think it's my own ass I'm worried about." "This isn't about a rap on the knuckles, Russell." "I'm looking at jail time." "You had nothing to do with it." "We're partners!" "We share profits and expenses." "We didn't sign some kind of blood oath." "So if I were the one being investigated?" "You're not!" "This is my problem, and I will deal with it." "Isn't it true, Ms. Canterbury, that Frank Angstrom's been your private investigator for the last three years?" "Leave, Russell." "Frank Angstrom was working on the Ethan Foster case." "Correct?" "Tell me, how would a file containing personal information on one of the jurors which, by the way, contained your handwriting, wind up in Mr. Angstrom's office?" "You always instruct your private investigators to sleep with jurors?" "What?" "Look, I don't care what your personal relationship is with Frank." "What is that supposed to mean?" "Like I said, this is a lot worse than you think." "Oh, God." "Anderson controls, not Shapiro." "Unless, of course, you're out in California." "Nobody knows what the loony birds out there will do." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Since it is likely that more of you will end up as criminals than criminal lawyers, it's a good idea to learn this stuff either way." "Now, for next week, I want three cases." "Okay?" "Three cases." "Class dismissed." "What's up?" "Matt, I think I might have really screwed up." "What?" "What, is something wrong?" "What?" "What's wrong?" "Yeah, I..." "Well, you know, the black dress with the little frills?" "(STUTTERS)" "I forgot to take it to the cleaner, and there's wine all down the front of it." "(LAUGHS)" "So?" "You'll wear the one you wore to Casey's wedding." "I just want tomorrow night to work out for you." "(CHUCKLES) Thank you." "That's very sweet." "LIZ:" "What the hell are you doing?" "Just paying my bill." "Oh, no." "It's illegal for me to take proceeds from a criminal act as compensation." "Hello?" "You got me off, remember?" "I'm innocent." "Ergo, this can't be proceeds of a crime." "Don't you love Latin?" "I didn't prove you innocent." "I proved you not guilty." "You say tomato..." "And I got you off because the cops screwed up." "Well, looks like someone's grown a set of scruples." "Excuse me?" "Come on." "You took my case." "You had to know..." "That the cops violated your rights by searching your trunk without probable cause." "And if I let it slide for you, that might be a free pass for them to do it to someone who's actually innocent." "What about my false arrest suit against the city?" "Goodbye." "But you said that..." "Get out." "I am done with you." "Go." "Martin!" "Martin!" "Hey." "I need Molly." "Where is she?" "She's at her bar review class." "What?" "What?" "Oh, afternoon Mass." "Oh, my God." "Drinks are on me when we win." "No, when I get my car back from the impound, we'll open up the 25-year-old single malt." "It was in your car?" "Oh, no, it's not what you think." "The bottle was a birthday present for my boss..." "Right." "And it was in your car." "Yeah, I was going to give it to him in the morning." "LIZ:" "Molly?" "(WHISPERING) Go to the men's room." "I don't have to." "Just go." "Look, before you fire me, I think we can win this." "LIZ:" "Officer Benson, what time does your tour typically end?" "That would be midnight." "So why on that particular night, did you clock out at 12 minutes past 1:00?" "Oh, trust me." "I already spoke to your desk sergeant." "Tell me this." "Did you search my client's car after you arrested him?" "Yes." "Did you make an inventory list?" "BENSON:" "Of course." "Is this it?" "Yeah." "Was there any alcohol listed here?" "All the booze in that car was in your client." "(PEOPLE LAUGHING)" "LIZ:" "What if I told you that when Mr. Flom left the bar that night, he went to Regal Liquor down the block and purchased a $200 bottle of scotch?" "I'd tell him the $10 bottle works just as good." "Funny." "Isn't it true that you and your partner took that $200 bottle from Mr. Flom's car?" "No." "Isn't it true that you and your partner sat in your squad car and drank my client's scotch, and that's why you clocked in over an hour late that night?" "I said no." "What was your blood alcohol level that night, Officer, as you cruised the streets of Providence?" "I didn't take..." "No?" "Well, where's the bottle?" "The only difference between you and my client is you have a badge." "Objection." "Sustained." "The State requests that Your Honor instruct the jury to disregard all testimony regarding this $200 bottle of scotch, as there is no evidence that it ever existed." "Fine." "Then we'll wait." "Are you done with this witness, counselor?" "Oh, no." "Not by a long shot." "We'll continue when Mr. Flom's assistant arrives with a time-stamped receipt from Regal Liquor." "OFFICER:" "I don't see what relevance..." "It was purchased at 10:27, the night of the arrest, eight minutes before Officer Benson arrested my client." "Since it isn't on the inventory list, that leaves three possibilities." "One, Mr. Flom drank the entire bottle of scotch in under eight minutes, which is highly unlikely, because if he had, he'd be dead." "Or two, Mr. Flom tossed the bottle of scotch out the car window when Officer Benson signaled for him to pull over, also unlikely because A, a good cop would have seen it, and B, $200 is $200." "You said there were three possibilities." "Three," "Officer Benson isn't just a liar." "He's also a thief and a drunk." "Hey." "Am I that predictable?" "Superstitious might be a better word." "That's the worst part of trying a case, when there's nothing left to do." "Yeah." "Listen, about Molly..." "I'll just assume you didn't know." "But how'd you know about me..." "My old man." "Let me guess." "He advised you to cut and run." "Hey, I don't listen to his advice." "Way I see it, you did what you had to do." "That's why we play the game, right?" "To win." "First off, Ethan Foster didn't kill anyone." "Second, a criminal trial is not about the lawyers." "Really?" "What is it about?" "I'm going to give you a hint." "It starts with a J." "You can't even say it." "Liz, with all due respect, but justice?" "If anyone gave a damn about justice, we wouldn't have exclusionary rules and privileges." "Hell, we wouldn't have any rules of evidence at all." "The notion of justice is a fiction, a rationalization of what the criminal justice system is really serving." "Which is?" "The attorney's ego." "You think Zach Williams gives a damn whether or not Ethan Foster was put in prison or not?" "He could care less." "His only concern is that he lost and you won." "And do I think for a minute you may have suborned perjury because you wanted to serve the greater good?" "Please..." "Don't make me fire you, Chester." "Hey, it's why I wanted to work for you." "And I thought you just wanted to stick it to the old man." "I like winning." "I crave it." "I need it." "I'm just like you, boss." "Oh, I assure you we have less in common than you think." "Hmm." "So why'd you hire me?" "There's all kinds of diversity, Chester." "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "Yeah?" "JUDGE:" "Have you reached a verdict?" "We have." "On the sole count of operating a vehicle under the influence, we find the defendant," "Arthur S. Flom, not guilty." "Thank you." "When I was 12, I came in second in the city-wide spelling bee." "Prerogative." "Left out an R." "My dad was sitting there with all his friends, and I screwed up." "I locked myself in my room for two weeks and studied the dictionary." "My mom had to leave my dinner by the door." "Next year, I won." "Look, I don't fail, Liz." "I'm just not good at it." "I mean, I would have locked myself in my room, but it's just not that simple anymore." "We could have been sued." "I know." "I know." "I'm sorry." "Can I ask you something?" "Yesterday, in court, that whole liquor store receipt thing?" "What would you have done if the judge called your bluff?" "Deny, deny, deny." "Yeah, Flom was guilty, so what's the difference, right?" "Maybe guilt is relative." "God, I hope so." "I'm going to pack up my desk." "Hey." "If putting this firm in jeopardy was the standard," "I would have been out of here a long time ago." "You know, there's a lot of great lawyers in this country that failed the bar the first time." "There was..." "What's his name?" "You know, and..." "Oh, and..." "Go home." "Just get rest." "MAN:" "It's a matter of substantive due process, that's why." "LIZ:" "When was the last time anyone took Griswold seriously?" "Exactly my point." "And Lawrence v. Texas?" "Forget about it." "I couldn't agree with you more." "Just this morning at breakfast," "Matt was saying how the entire court should take a remedial class in the fifth amendment." "I believe I said it was the 14th amendment." "That's right." "You did." "I do that all the time." "Well, you could have said the fifth." "The missus." "She's a keeper, Matthew." "Yes." "I know." "Excuse me." "Thank God." "I was running out of cases." "I've been wanting to say hello to you all night, Elizabeth." "I mean, Ms. Canterbury." "This is Carly O'Keefe, one of my better students." "Working my way through law school." "Good for you." "It can't be..." "I feel like I know you." "Matthew discusses your cases and trial techniques." "The winners, I hope." "From what I hear, you hardly ever lose." "I'm blushing." "I'll get you another drink." "Well, thank you." "She's a good kid." "Very bright." "Is she?" ""Matthew."" ""Matthew."" "MATT:" "♪ In Dublin's Fair City" "♪ Where the girls are so pretty ♪" "You owe me big time, fella." "Yes, I do." "Why don't we go upstairs?" "We can pretend we got lost." "You asked the chairman of the board of trustees to come back here for a nightcap." "Yeah, but wouldn't you rather get naked, go three rounds under the sheets, you know?" "You can tell him..." "Just tell him that he had a fantastic time, and he'll never know the difference." "No, Beth, come on." "Fine." ""Matthew."" "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "Not now, Beth." "Didn't know I was saying anything." "SANDY:" "Hi!" "Come on in!" "I know you were just trying to help." "Heroes with clay feet, hard to take." "She's hardly my hero." "You turned down a job with a major firm in Boston." "Spending my life dotting i's and crossing t's on 200-page contracts..." "Sure." "That's it." "Let's not dwell on past mistakes." "I'll call Merriweather Marx first thing." "I wouldn't be surprised if they've doubled your salary overnight." "I'm not leaving Canterbury, Dad." "Then what are we doing here?" "I was thinking maybe you could pull some of those strings you're always talking about to get the AG off of Liz's back." "Why would I do that?" "Because I asked." "In the real world, Son, when somebody scratches my back, sooner or later, they're going to show up at my office with their shirt off." "Did you know that Rhode Island is the only state that calls a D.U.I. an O.U.I.?" "Thank you." "Kind of funny, don't you think?" "I mean, have you ever met a Frenchman that didn't say oui to another drink?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "You should be on the faculty." "No." "Real world doesn't scare me." "No, sir." "Nothing scares my Beth, as long as she can deny it afterwards." "SANDY:" "I've been begging Wallace to give up his practice and teach." "No way." "I need the action." "Boston, New York..." "I'm sure there's plenty of action in the law school." "Matthew, would you like to enlighten us on that topic?" "He's adorable." "How old is he?" "Sam's eight." "Looks just like Matt, doesn't he?" "Beth." "In the eyes." "SANDY:" "Yes, I see it." "LIZ:" "He's strong, too." "He's going to be a rugby player." "Tell them how..." "How strong he is, honey." "I played rugby." "I knew it!" "(LAUGHS)" "You don't have to worry about our Sam." "That boy can take care of himself." "Would you like to meet him?" "That's not a good idea." "He's..." "He needs his sleep." "Do you think you'll have more?" "MATT:" "Yes." "No way." "Well, as you can see, we're discussing it." "Well, why would we want another one?" ""May God be praised for woman" ""that give up all her mind" ""A man in no man may find" ""a friendship of her kind."" "Give an Irishman a whiskey, Yeats starts pouring out." "Why is that?" "Well, I know I'm impressed." "He was a cad, that W.B." "Mmm-mmm." "Married to a babe, and he was running around with..." "What's her name?" "Carly!" "Maude Gonne." "You see, his marriage was a complete farce." "Well, it happens to the best of us, doesn't it?" "Yeah, whose fault is that, my dear?" "Hey, do you know, just before you got here," "I asked Matthew to take me upstairs..." "You see, Beth has had a little bit too much to drink, I think." "...and at least pretend to be a husband." "Haven't you, sweetheart?" "Sandy, is it always this bleak?" "I think we should go." "LIZ:" "Oh, no!" "Oh, no!" "We're having fun!" "SANDY:" "We'll see ourselves out." "This was great." "It's great." "Let's do this again some time." "Good night." "I apologize." "Great." "Just great." "Good night." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "That was priceless." "Great." "So you'll get a real job." "Thanks, Beth." "I happen to like teaching." "Of course you do." "It's nice and safe." "Shut up and give me a break." "At least I didn't give up, Dr. Freud." "Know what?" "You're drunk and pathetic." "Why don't you go to bed?" "Well, it was your girlfriend who kept filling my glass." "Well, kudos to you, sweetheart." "You've attained the state of martyrdom reserved for cuckolds." "No, wait." "I'm a cuckold." "Literally speaking, that is." "It's..." "It is a gender thing." "You want to talk about infidelity?" "Let's talk about Frank." "Yeah, that's right." "Frank Angstrom." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, what about your little "I'm just working my way through law school"?" "I mean, really, Matt." "How does it feel to be such a cliche?" "Well, maybe if we had more than drunken, sloppy sex, once every five or six weeks..." "Well, you know what?" "What's the point?" "I'm going to bed." "Oh, yeah." "That's right." "Just walk away." "It's what you do best." "Oh, and by the way, I was sober with Frank." "Oh, yeah?" "Of course you were." "Yeah." "Because that makes it especially demeaning." "You know what the good thing is, Beth?" "I don't really care anymore." "I don't." "Why don't you just say it?" "What?" "Why don't you just say it?" "Just say what you have been dying to say to me for the past three years?" "It's so typical." "You talk this great game about pink elephants being in the room, but when push comes to shove..." "It's your fault!" "He was with you!" "It's your fault." "You were with him!" "What were you doing?" "What kind of a mother is too preoccupied with herself that she couldn't keep an eye on her own baby boy?" "There." "Said it." "Happy now?" "No more, Beth." "Because we're finished." "(CHILDREN LAUGHING)" "LIZ:" "Will you stop wriggling?" "Okay." "Stop wriggling." "You smell like coconut." "It's slimy and disgusting." "I love coconut." "Mom, stop tickling me." "Okay." "Go ahead." "Go play." "LIZ:" "Be brave." "Go ahead." "I'm watching." "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "Canterbury." "Okay." "What?" "When?" "Sam?" "Sam?" "ZACH:" "She's dead." "Remind me never to piss you off." "Especially when it involves a felony." "Mountains and molehills, Zach." "A defendant lied." "Whoop-die-do." "Happens every day." "Twice a day in murder cases." "Except this time, Canterbury told him to lie." "What happened?" "You get fresh, she slap your face?" "It's not personal." "She broke the law." "Come on." "Give me a break." "She won." "You lost." "You don't like it." "Now you're all upset." "You're tense." "Come on." "Don't get all worked up." "I mean, get worked up, but not about her." "You're wrong." "Kate, you're wrong." "Russell Krauss." "What about him?" "He was Canterbury's second chair in the Foster case." "The man practically sleeps with the canons of ethics underneath his pillow." "There is no way he would be involved in any legal hanky-panky." "You know that better than anyone." "Matt." "OFFICER:" "Are you Elizabeth Canterbury?" "LIZ:" "Yes." "Could you step outside, please?" "You're under arrest for jury tampering." "You have the right to remain silent." "If you choose to waive that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "You have the right to an attorney." "If you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you." "You have the right to have an attorney present during any and all questioning." "♪ How many times have I heard you say stay" "♪ Won't you let me tie you up" "♪ With minor cords and smoke rings" "♪ And I think you're losing it ♪"