"Hello?" "Hey, what's up?" "Five feet eleven, good looking, masculine." "Yeah, work out, in good shape." "Six and a half, thick, uncut." "Fuck." "Hello." "Hey what's up?" "East Village." "No, I'm more of a top." "What about you?" "All right, too bad." "Hello?" "Hello?" "You looking to hook up?" "Yeah, me too." "Tonight." "Yeah." "I'm a top." "You into that?" "No, I'm looking to travel." "Where in Chelsea are you?" "Who is it?" "It's Jeff." "I left my phone number on a piece of paper." "Cool." "Thanks for coming by." "Thanks for having me." "I have a girlfriend, by the way, so..." "Don't get your hopes up." "That's too bad." "My guest, is Erik Rothman, whose new film" "Outside of Lafayette, will have its world premiere at the Rotterdam Film Festival next week." "And it will open here, at the Quad in New York on the 23rd." "So Erik, are you working on something new now?" "I've been working on something for the last year." "It's a film about a filmmaker and a photographer named" "Avery Willard who was a New York theater and advertising photographer in the 40's and 50's, but who also used his studio to photograph male nudes and physique spreads, and female impersonators." "So how come I've never heard of this guy?" "Because no one has, really." "His work is like a visual anthropology of gay life New York from the 40's 'til the 90's." "Right now, you know I'm still in the beginning," "I'm calling the film In Search of Avery Willard." "And I'm uh, just kind of in the beginning of it all, still." "Hello?" "What's up?" "Five feet eleven, blonde, good looking." "Masculine." "You like?" "Yeah, I like." "Good, cool." "Make yourself comfortable." "I'm going to, if that's okay." "You don't worry about your neighbors at all?" "I like it." "You don't like it?" "I like it." "Get comfortable." "Dude, come on." "All right, that's better." "I like guys like you." "Yeah?" "I like masculine guys." "This okay?" "Mm, yeah." "Why don't you come over here?" "Hold on, guy." "Hold on." "You like my body, huh?" "Yeah, I do." "I used to be a dancer, you know." "Oh yeah?" "I want to touch you." "Let's get used to each other first, if that's okay." "My boyfriend gets off work around six, he'll be home by six-thirty." "Ok well, we got some time then don't we." "What's your name?" "Russ." "What's yours?" "Dave." "He's the best poet I've read in a long time, you should take it home." "Someone actually recommended it to me a long time ago but I," "I couldn't get through it." "Why?" "I was still with my ex-boyfriend Paolo, who was really sick." "He was positive." "I think it was just hard for me to read about AIDS back then." "Is he still alive?" "Yeah - he's in London, he lives there." "He went there to work and I broke up with him over the phone." "Classy." "In truth I think I didn't love him enough." "Have you seen my belt, anywhere?" "Because I can't find my belt." "Are you leaving?" "Yeah?" "No." "I should go and um, I should go." "But I can't find my belt and I can't leave without my belt." "So?" "So what's he like?" "He's like um, he's just like nice." "Nice!" "Yes, he's very nice." "Where's he from?" "He's from the suburbs of Boston." "He's a lawyer at Random House." "You know he'd be the first American " "American boyfriend I've ever had?" "I haven't seen you this excited about anyone in a long time, since Paolo." "I was not that excited about Paolo, Claire." "I don't know why you keep saying that all the time." "You guys were a good couple." "No, we were not a good couple because he bugged me." "He was never interested in anything I had to say." "So now, you've found a pupil?" "That's not what I'm saying." "Paul - he is curious, he's excited." "He's um, yeah he's a nice guy." "And he seems to really like me." "I'm glad." "I don't know." "This is my little secret, you can't tell anyone." "I won't." "Do you swear?" "I swear." "Because people in the publishing business like to gossip." "People love to gossip in any business." "Especially in publishing." "Paul, I swear." "I just don't want anyone..." "to know." "Open your mouth." "Take your shirt off." "Had you had sex with any other men before you met me?" "Uh, a few." "Not as many as you, I'm sure." "I was a late bloomer." "I was thirteen when I had sex with a guy for the first time." "Yeah?" "What are you doing?" "It looks better that way." "I don't think so." "You're too cool." "Oh yeah?" "Like New Yorkers don't wear their collars up?" "No." "Same way we don't say "ciao" instead of bye." "What's wrong with "ciao?"" "It sounds pretentious." "I didn't say "ciao" to Markus, actually I said "tschuss."" "Same difference." "He's German!" "It's okay." "You have an accent." "You can get away with it." "I don't think I could." "Thank you." "Wow." "It's beautiful." "It's a picture of a woman missing the subway." "When I first moved to New York I wanted to buy one, but it was like $1500." "But I really wanted it so I asked my father if he'd, you know, lend me the money to get one." "When he heard the price he thought it was ridiculous." "Now that blonde girl is worth $5000." "Oh my God, it's Katie." "Who?" "Katie." "Well maybe it's time for you to introduce your boyfriend to your ex girlfriend." "And would periodically check his statistics." "It was almost like a laptop and he enjoyed checking himself almost recreationally." "There's a long line at the bathroom." "I flirt with the good looking boy." "Can't tell if gay or straight." "Has a foreign accent." "I tell him an idea I have for a video project." "Coward!" "Erik..." "I think we should have a baby together." "Whoa." "Where did that come from?" "I'm thirty-four." "I know." "I'm just saying, in a few years, if I haven't found the right guy..." "I don't know what Paul would think." "I don't care what Paul would think." "I do." "I like him." "We're talking about moving in together." "What?" "l-l like him." "Yes, is Dorothy there?" "I'll put Dorothy on the line." "Thank you." "Hello?" "Dorothy!" "Hi Erik, listen." "We cannot tell you the results of your HIV test over the phone." "It's a legal matter." "We would be breaking state confidentiality rules." "Are you telling me that I'm HIV positive?" "No, I'm not telling you that." "Are you lying to me?" "What I want to know is why you're so nervous." "Do you know you're supposed to wear condoms whenever you have sex, oral or anal?" "Of course, I know that." "I'm upset because I think you're telling me I'm HIV positive." "Wouldn't you be?" "When are you coming back to New York?" "I won't be back in New York for weeks, maybe months." "I'm in Virginia, I'm doing interviews for a documentary." "Just come into the office when you're back." "Do you know my test results?" "Yes, I do." "Well can you tell me what they are?" "Please?" "Please?" "Listen to me." "What am I saying to you between the lines?" "That I'm HIV positive." "What is the opposite of that?" "That I'm negative?" "Right." "Oh fuck, thank you, thank you." "Thank you." "I'll come and see you when I'm back in New York." "Skip it Erik, have a good day." "Thank you, you too." "Have a great day." "Thank you Dorothy!" "Thank you." "This is such a wonderful thing that you're doing for my brother." "It's just, thank you so much." "Well, your brother is a wonderful part of my life." "This is nothing, it's my pleasure." "Thank you, Luis." "He's here." "Okay." "Okay!" "Uh, everyone get in your hiding places he's coming up." "Now!" "Go, go." "Get in your places and quiet down." "Shh!" "Surprise!" "Happy birthday!" "Woo!" "Oh my god, I said I never wanted a surprise party!" "Oh I hate you." "Happy birthday." "No!" "Maybe that's what you really want." "No!" "Just 'cause I'm talking to some guy in the street." "It doesn't mean I want to be single." "It's really not fair." "Come here." "Oh, come on." "Where are you going?" "I said I was sorry." "It doesn't sound like you're sorry." "You might say so, but you're not acting that way." "You know what?" "I'm not the one who wants to do drugs all the time." "Do not try to turn this around on me." "I'm not trying to turn it around on you," "I'm just trying to talk about your drug use." "My drug use?" "!" "Why is it not okay for me to bring that up?" "Will you let me go to sleep?" "Please?" "I have to get up early, Erik." "Some of us have jobs, you know." "Ughhh." "Don't do that." "Ughhh." "Do not make sounds like that." "Ahhh." "Erik!" "Erik!" "Stop it and go to bed!" "We can talk about it tomorrow." "I can't go to sleep like this." "Yes you can." "No, I can't go to sleep when you're like this." "When I'm like what?" "When you're like this." "Well what do you want me to do?" "I want you to come to bed with me." "Why?" "Because." "Why can't we just sleep in different rooms?" "It's fine." "It'll be good for us." "Because I don't want to." "You are such a baby." "What are you doing?" "Come on, you don't need this." "You don't need it!" "Erik!" "No, you're gonna come sleep with me in the bed." "No I'm not." "Now!" "Yes you are." "No I am not." "Yes you are gonna come sleep with me in the bed!" "Ahh!" "Stop it!" "Ow!" "Why don't you just call that boy from the street and have him save you?" "He didn't give me his number." "I hate you so much!" "I met Avery Willard through Jack Smith - if Jack Smith was doing some sort of ridiculous filming he would be there, and then he would tell you about it, and he'd say, "Oh, you're a filmmaker," "you've got to meet this one."" "He was always putting together these underground kind of like talents, you know." "I don't know what you call that kind of group of people because we weren't um, the Spielbergs of the time." "And I don't even know if there is anything like - oh yes, there is - that stuff that's on the Internet now, is exactly what Avery Willard was and we all were." "We weren't making great stuff, you know it's - but we were filming things that no one else would film, maybe that's what it was all about." "Do you think he had talent " "Huh?" "Avery Willard." "Do you think he had talent?" "No, I don't think he had talent one." "Ha ha!" "I think that's why he was angry all the time." "Ha!" "Because he not only was not very attractive - actually I think his outsides were - because of what he was inside." "You know, that happens to people, you know." "I mean, check out Nixon." "You know, that face goes with who's inside." "And that's very" " I really believe you can tell who people are - what they're somewhat about - by their appearance." "You, for instance, have a wonderful open, and welcoming kind of thing about you." "Hi it's Paul, leave me a message." "So, guess who we ran into yesterday?" "Who?" "Your ex-boyfriend." "Erik, if you saw Paolo now, you wouldn't believe it." "He's working out and everything." "He looks great." "If you're gonna start with that again" "I'm gonna get very angry with you." "I'm gonna call him and see if he wants to come to the gym with me." "Don't worry he doesn't want you anyway, he's got a boyfriend, and they're moving together to Brazil." "Is that true?" "What?" "That he has a boyfriend?" "That he's moving to Brazil." "That's what he told me." "Well that's just incredible, I mean he was, he always had this fantasy that he was gonna live on some island in the north of Brazil." "I guess it's not a fantasy anymore." "Where the hell is Paul?" "Yeah, where is he?" "He went to get some cash." "I know, but it's been twenty minutes." "More, it's like thirty minutes." "I got this." "Thank you, Dan." "Oh, are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure." "Thank you." "Just run to the bathroom and I'll be right back." "I just got a call from Paul." "What happened?" "Was it something we said?" "No!" "No, I think it was the mix of wine with vodka, he's not feeling well." "He went home." "He sends his apologies but he's in bed." "Okay, well - we're gonna go." "Which way you headed?" "I think I'm, I'm just gonna walk." "I'll take a cab with you guys." "Bye." "You alright?" "Yeah." "Well, always good to see you man." "You too man, good night!" " Bye!" " Bye!" "Paul." "Hello." "It's Monday morning." "Where have you been?" "Not now." "I don't want to be late." "Paul?" "They were very important for the gay community and he was an institution." "And everybody walked out on him." "It all just slowly fell apart." "Avery was so bizarre, I thought." "And also, I saw so many things in Avery" "I didn't like about myself." "Hello?" "Hey what's up?" "East Village, you?" "It's eight-and-a-half inch." "Hard as a rock, I got a beautiful cock." "Yeah you like that?" "No, no, I can't host." "I'm married." "Yeah." "No, my wife's not home." "She's gonna come back home later." "What I wanna do, I just fuck your mouth like I fuck her pussy." "You little bitch, come here I want to fuck you." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hey what's up?" "East Village." "You?" "Yeah, I'm a dominant top." "What are you into?" "Where you from?" "Paul?" "Is that you?" "Paul?" "Aaah!" "Hi this is Paul, leave me a message." "Paul this is killing me, it's killing me, it's killing me!" "What I want to know is what you were doing on a phone sex line when you were supposed to be editing!" "You were gone for two days." "I could not find you." "So you were looking for me?" "Is that what you were doing?" "Of course not." "Erik, I don't spy on you, and I will not stand being spied upon." "If every time you go away we have to go through this, then I don't want to be in this relationship anymore." "I have no idea where you are," "I have no idea what you're doing." "Why are you focusing on me?" "You've been working on this goddamn movie for four years." "You get a chance to go away to an artist's colony where they bring you your lunch in a fucking picnic basket, and you spend the whole time on a phone sex line." "I did not spend the whole time on a phone sex line!" "I don't have time for this!" "I have a job, do you understand what that is?" "I was at my desk, at work, early, on Monday." "I do my job." "I have my clients." "Do you know what my work load is?" "Do you have any idea?" "Stop!" "Stop it!" "Ow, ow, ow." "What?" "Oh, sorry, sorry." "Have you seen this?" "Seen what?" "The floor is buckling over here." "It's pretty bad over here too." "Was it always like that?" "You should ask Mario if he can find someone to fix it for you." "You know, you have to tell me what you do when you're out all night and I can't find you." "Don't start with that." "Ah!" "Erik?" "Erik?" "What are you doing?" "Erik stop it!" "Stop it." "There were certain young men who were sort of on the scene, and hanging out on the streets and so forth, that Avery had seen me with and..." "Why is it so gray?" "Can you stop." "We'll fix it later, Erik." "We really shouldn't stop now, we're already behind." "If we aren't going to do it now, why am I here?" "Can we just watch it going forward and we'll fix that bit later." "Ok, fine." "John, thank you." "Paul, Paul." "Alright, Paul." "I love you, very much, and you are my best friend." "I admire you, and I think you're brilliant." "You are sweet and kind and very loving." "Since we first started going out, alcohol and drug use have been a problem in our relationship." "I have never felt certain that you would come home any night that we've not been together for an evening, that's for over five years." "Every New Year's you made a resolution to stop." "But it never happens, Paul." "After all of this, you are still my favorite person in the world." "I want to spend the rest of my life with you and" "I want our relationship to make me feel stronger." "I can't take care of you because you have proven to be helpless and unmanageable." "I've worried about you every hour of every day." "I can't live like this." "If you don't get on a plane and follow through with the recommendations, our relationship is over and you need to move out." "Are you finished?" "You all finished?" "Jill is ready." "Thanks." "These are the files that I found at home." "Thanks." "Oh this is it." "Paul also had some messages." "Peggy Simon..." "All right, let me get this down." "So, Peggy Simon, Lucius Ambrosino, and Gene Reid-Pharr." "So I'm just telling everybody that" "Paul's taking some time off." "If they ask, I tell his writers it's stress and he's taking care of himself." "Thanks Jill." "I feel terrible that your life has been so impinged by this." "It's okay." "Oh, here." "This is Paul's mail." "I went through most of it already." "I think there's a check in there, somewhere." "He called last night." "And?" "He um, he said that I ruined his life, and that he wasn't going to stay." "Well, I think they all say that in rehab, Erik." "I hope so." "Dear friends, I wanted to write you, and tell you that I'm back from Minnesota, and that I can report that Paul is doing very, very well." "He looks great." "He has certainly taken to the program, to the steps." "I'm proud of him for taking rehab so seriously." "So he is coming back soon, and the next phase will begin." "I'm nervous, I'll admit." "And I know now that I need to separate myself from his recovery as best as I can." "So I will rely on each one of you to remind me." "That's all for now." "Lots of love, Erik." "I'm Igor." "I'm Erik." "Hello, Igor." "No, not here." "Yes." "Let's go some place." "No, I don't want to." "We can go to my place, but I live in Brooklyn." "Shit, is he okay?" "Did you guys do "G?"" "Take this." "God it's gross down here." "Thank you." "I guess it would be completely inappropriate to invite you to my house now wouldn't it?" "I think so." "Because I have a boyfriend?" "No, I uh, I remembered I have a class in the morning." "What do you study?" "It's a drawing class." "You're an artist?" "I paint so I guess I'm an artist." "I bet you're very good at what you're doing." "And you?" "What do you do?" "I make documentary films." "Nice." "Are you sure you don't want to come over?" "Just for a little bit." "Yes." "No, I'm, I'm sure." "But my subway is this way." "I can walk with you a little more." "Igor." "Where in Russia are you from?" "I'm from Ecuador actually." "My father was a hard core Marxist and he named all of his kids after Russian names." "My sisters are Tatiana and Tamara." "And Igor ended up living in New York City." "In Coney Island, of all places, surrounded by Russians." "Oh my god." "Are you okay?" "It's wonderful!" "You're coming in, right?" "Oh yeah." "I come later." "Are you coming in?" "I'll join you in a second." "When are you two getting pregnant?" "We aren't." "Why not?" "He already has two kids, and he doesn't really want to have another one." "I'm sorry, sweetheart." "Yeah, me too." "He's not perfect but, I do like him." "I wish I could trust you more." "Excuse me?" "It really upsets me that I had to learn about how bad things were between you and Paul only at the end." "I'm mad at you for not telling me." "I've been hiding crucial events in my life since I was thirteen years old." "That's no excuse." "You need to change things." "Get better therapy." "I'm trying." "I'm telling you now." "Well, I appreciate it." "But I still don't forgive you for keeping me in the dark for so long, ok?" "I need you to be braver than that." "If I'm gonna be the father of your child?" "Yes." "If you're gonna be the father of my child." "I just want to say..." "Claire!" "Alassane!" "Jesus Christ, those two." "Get a room!" "I want to say thank you for coming!" "I want to say thank you for coming, both of you." "Thank you for driving during the snow storm, and Thomas, Vivian, Luca - thank you very much." "Thank you very much for ditching your mom's fabulous cousin's party." "Thank you for giving us a reason." "Dan, thank you so much for agreeing to sleep on the couch." "Oh, really?" "Alright, I'll sleep on the couch." "No really, seriously, I really want to um," "I really want to thank you all for being here." "It means a lot to me, that you're here, and we're spending the holiday together." "It means so much." "And I'm especially happy to have Paul here with us." "Looking so gorgeous..." "Why thank you, Luca." "It has not been an easy few months, Paul, but um, Erik..." "I think you are a wonder, and your energy and your positivity, and the way you're bravely changing your life - it's just amazing to watch." "And to be part of." "You inspire me and I love you." "Thank you." "Merry Christmas." "All right, cheers everyone." "That's it." "What is that?" "I wonder who put that there." "Oh no, you didn't." "Oh." "Merry Christmas." "Thank you." "For your love." "And your patience." "And thank you for putting up with me." "It's amazing." "Do you like it?" "Nah, I love it." "Paul?" "Paul pick up the phone." "We just won a Teddy Award - best documentary." "Paul are you there?" "Ok, call me back as soon as you get this." "I love you." "Paul?" "Paul pick up the phone." "We just won a Teddy Award - best documentary." "Paul are you there?" "Ok, call me back as soon as you get this." "I love you." "Hi Paul." "I wanna talk to you!" "I've been trying you for days, I'm starting to get worried." "Call me back when you get this, hope all is well, it's Vivian." "Ok, bye." "Erik?" "This is Jill." "Paul has not showed up in the office all week and he's not returning my calls." "I need to know what's going on." "So please call me - 212-249-3576." "Thanks." "Why don't you try calling the police?" "Oh the police can't do anything." "There are only two ways Paul is going to stop." "He's going to run out of money, or he's going to die." "Hey, don't say that." "Why do you think it's your job to save him?" "Dan!" "Stop it." "We don't need your Twelve Step bullshit right now, okay?" "If your boyfriend was on a three week drug binge, don't tell me you wouldn't do everything you could to find him." " Right?" " No, I wouldn't." "Please." "I'm thinking of hiring a private detective." "I'm sorry - I can't sign up for this." "Call me when you guys get sane." "Erik, I love you." "I'm here for you." "But I can't support this ridiculous type of behavior." "It didn't work the first time and it's not going to work now." "Sorry, I'm late." "Paul's a grown up." "He's going to work it out, or he's not." "But you're not going to save him." "You never were, and you aren't now." "What's going on?" "Very helpful, Dan." "Hi." "Where are you?" "Don't - don't go anywhere." "Stay where you are." "I love you." "Let's go home." "Don't start, Erik." "Can you believe this place?" "Isn't it incredible?" "It's a hotel room, Paul." "Don't be mean or I'm not going to let you stay here." "Oh please don't do that." "Must've been expensive." "I got lucky." "There's a uh, middle of the week deal." "Fashion week is over and everyone went back to Milan." "There's also this art thing in London." "What are you talking about?" "Froze?" "No, Frieze?" "The art thing?" "Do you want a drink?" "Shit, I'm all out of ice." "Do you mind getting us some ice?" "We got lots of ice at home." "Come on." "What did I tell you?" "Come see the bedroom." "I'll show you." "Try the bed." "Oh, it's amazing." "I love this bed." "Paul..." "I'm sorry I ruined your premiere in Berlin." "I was really proud of you." "Come on, come on, let's go home." "Let's go home." "Please don't hate me." "Do you think I've lost weight?" "I know I lost a little." "It's the crackhead diet." "I don't recommend it." "Let's go home." "I'll come home tomorrow." "You should leave now." "I'm not leaving." "You don't want to watch this." "I'm fine." "Erik, you should go." "I said I'm fine." "You're no worse than anybody else." "I'm sure that there's someone down the hall doing exactly the same thing." "Really?" "Yeah." "Paul, I know that you're ready." "You're ready for this to be over." "How do you know that?" "Because I know you, Paul." "I know you." "I'll come home tomorrow, but you should go now." "You're gonna come home tomorrow, and you're going to go to rehab." "I said I'm coming home tomorrow." "I did not say I'm going to rehab." "Do you promise?" "Promise." "Who is that?" "It's your choice." "That's all you're gonna get." "I think you should just leave." "Paul!" "You want anything?" "Yeah I'll have a beer." "Ok." "You ok?" "I'm fine." "Erik?" "Erik?" "What?" "I'm glad you called." "I didn't expect to see you again." "I'm on a little vacation." "I was working in Boca for the last six months." "And now I'm back, and I'm not sure what I'm gonna do next, you know?" "Come on baby, come on." "That's it." "There you go." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "You look so serious." "You make me feel a little weird." "Do other people say that to you?" "You know, I got a degree in English." "I'm not some stupid faggot." "Hold the lighter underneath, you gotta get more smoke, man." "That's it, hold it." "That's it, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go." "Easy, easy, yeah." "You like that?" "Oh!" "Yeah, that feels good." "Feels really good." "And you, you have a very nice body, Russ." "I like to show off my body." "You do?" "Yeah." "That's very good." "You want something to drink?" "Yeah um, just some water please." "Uh, juice, how about juice - I got orange juice." "Sounds perfect." "You okay out there?" "Yeah I'm fine." "What're you doing?" "I just think I'm gonna leave." "Oh don't, don't do that." "You know?" "Don't do my drugs and then leave on me." "Don't be one of those guys." "You want to come to the bedroom for a little while?" "I'm glad to see you." "Are you?" "I'm not sure I would be if I were you." "Yes, I am." "How are you?" "I'm great." "You?" "Good." "Better." "That was a doozy, huh?" "We always liked a little melodrama, you and I." "I guess we did." "You know I ran into everybody in your life this past year but you." "I heard that." "The first person I saw when I got back was Alassane." "On the corner of 9th and University." "He gave me the biggest hug anyone has ever given me." "I will be grateful to that guy for the rest of my life." "He and Claire are not together anymore." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Was it the kid thing?" "Yeah." "Since they broke up, she and I have started that conversation again." "Have you?" "Yeah." "I'm happy to see you, I'm very happy to see you." "You survived, Paul." "It's incredible." "I have." "It is incredible." "It amazes me that after all this time I can still feel shocked" "I don't start and end each day with you." "So what do we do now?" "I don't know, Erik." "What do you think we should do?" "I don't really want to leave you yet." "I think that's probably the best thing for us right now." "I think this has been the perfect beginning for whatever is going to happen." "Ok." " Ok." " Ok." "Would you turn that light on, above the bed?" "I don't want to be in the dark with you." "I can't believe this is happening." "Erik!" "What?" "You're not supposed to be naked." "Oh." "Okay." "We're not having sex." "No!" "I just want to be naked with you." "You smell like you." "I think that this is enough for right now, okay?" "Ok." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Erik, right?" "Wait a minute." "Ivan?" "Igor." "Oh my god, oh my god." "That's so embarrassing." "Hey at least I knew it was a Russian name, right?" "Hey it's okay." "It was a while ago." "How's the um, how's the painting going?" "Good." "How's the film business?" "Okay I guess..." "Hey uh, do you want to get something to eat?" "I've got an hour." "I'd sit with you." "So, you're not with your boyfriend." "I don't know." "Um, he went away for a while, then he came back, and then we started seeing each other again, and now I have no idea what's going on." "How long have you guys been together?" "For nine years." "Wow." "You're lucky." "I don't feel lucky." "What about you?" "Well um, I'm sort of seeing someone right now, but I always lose interest after four months, six months, that's all they seem to last." "I'm seeing this guy now but uh, it's nothing serious." "It's more like a fuck buddy." "We go out to dinner sometimes - mostly he talks, and I listen." "I like being taken out for dinner, what can I say?" "I'm superficial." "Who doesn't like to be taken out to dinner?" "I'll take you out to dinner." "Yeah?" "Sure." "I'd like that." "Hold on..." "Hey..." "Hi." "Can we talk?" "Um, I'm on the phone." "Can you give me a few minutes?" "Okay, so, what you got?" "How are you feeling about things?" "You're putting it on me." "No that's not what I mean to be doing." "I just, I think we need " "You just wanna know what I think we should do." "Yes." "I think we should move in together." "Someplace totally new." "Either that or break up right now, you decide." "That seems like a high ultimatum, don't you think?" "Then let's not do it." "Let's finally really, really, really stop doing it." "Don't say it like that." "What do you want, Erik?" "Be clear about that for once in your life." "I'm trying to." "Erik..." "Erik." "Stop it!" "I don't have time for this." "Jill is coming to pick me up to take me to lunch with the kids." "Then I'm taking the 3:20 train back to the city - are you coming back then?" "No, I'm going to stay here until tomorrow." "I've got some work to do." "Okay." "Then you have to pick me up at Jill's at 2:45 to take me to the station." "You have from now until then to make your decision." "I'm not going back to the city by myself without this being decided." "I, I just think it's a little weird that you give me what, 3 hours?" "To make a decision like this?" "I'm sorry." "I'm not doing this in order to be difficult." "Or to... try to control things or whatever you want to tell your friends I'm doing." "I'm doing this because I have to do this to save my life." "Can you understand?" "I do understand." "I have to go." "Can you bring my suitcase later, please?" "So do you have a decision for me?" "Yes." "Yes, as in your answer is yes?" "Yes." "Good." "You're not - you're not worried about our fighting?" "Of course I am." "I'm worried about a lot of things." "But I'm happy." "Me too." "You sure about this?" "Yes." "Are you?" "Yes!" "Good." "I'll see you in New York." "I love you." "I love you too." "Who is it?" "It's Erik." "Come on in." "You can't do it, right?" "No." "Well we had some good times together didn't we?" "We did." "I need to get ready for work." "I think I left my blue cashmere sweater in your apartment." "You did?" "And my raincoat, also." "I saw that." "Will you leave them with the doorman for me please?" "Sure." "I'll pick them up later." "I don't think we should see each other for a long time, Erik." "I know." "But you can call me if you need me for anything, anytime." "No." "I can't do that." "It's okay." "I do love you, Paul." "Do you?" "I wonder." "I do." "Okay." "Enough of this." "I'm going to work." "I have a lot to do today." "Be well." "I will be."