"(THEME SONG PLAYING)" "MAN: (ON RADIO) The President doesn't care about the Hispanic plight." "He doesn't care about poor Mexicans..." "Well, you didn't miss much, if it makes you feel any better." "Except movie night." "We got Joe Versus the Volcano." "That was pretty good." "And we got meatloaf twice." "Personally, I think it should be baked, and here they steam it so it gets all pasty." "Do not tell Red I said that." "I mean, she knows, but she got feelings just like everybody else." "You know those good mashed potatoes that Red makes, from the real potatoes and not the box?" "Yeah." "Maybe you could ask about getting some of that served up tonight." "You her girl." "Well, she works up the menus a week in advance, so..." "Think about what I've been through." "Can't promise anything." "Twenty-six, 27, 28, 29, 30!" "Ha-ha!" "Who's the big talker now?" "(MUFFLED) You were counting too fast!" "Bullshit, Vause." "I told you, it can't be done." "Six saltines in 30 seconds?" "(SPITS)" "(LAUGHING)" "You are a disgusting animal." "Okay?" "What the fuck?" "I mean, which is a quality I greatly admire in a person." "You're in touch with your primal self." "Yeah, well, my primal self cannot resist a dare, apparently." "Which is also how I ended up with three broken toes and, briefly, chlamydia." "And in prison." "Well, that wasn't so much a dare, as it was a deal." "MAN ON PA:" "Officer Webster, pick up extension 414." "Hey, get over here." "You're missing a moment." "MAN ON PA:" "Visitation will be ending in five minutes." "God, SHU must really suck ass." "Man, she was in there for two weeks." "I've taken shits longer than that." "(CHUCKLING)" "Hey, Kate Winslet." "See any icebergs?" "(SCOFFS)" "GIRL:" "They're back again, Janae." "Cut that out!" "Boys chase girls!" "Whatcha gonna do if you catch us?" "Only one way to find out." "(SCOFFS) Go back to your mama." "GIRLS:" "Ooh..." "Janae!" "Quit showing off!" "Good morning." "Welcome." "Hey!" "HEALY:" "Ladies of the WAC." "Are you taking us to prom or something?" "Just close the door, please." "Thank you." "All right." "Now, a small token of my esteem." "Dang, Healy." "That's proper!" "(HEALY CHUCKLING) Oh!" "Now you talk about this outside, you never see bear claws again." "Silencio, Mr. Healy." "We're gonna be like Red's lady." "What's her name?" "The one that don't talk?" "Norma." "We gonna be like four Normas." "HEALY:" "All right, now, business, i.e. if you will, the concerns of your fellow inmates." "Mr. Healy, the pillow that we get for sleeping is thin like paper." "Sometimes, yo necessito two pillows." "For ergonomics." "A second pillow?" "Write it down." "Okay, first of all, the hot sauce in the commissary is bullshit." "We want that Thailand sauce, the one with the rooster on it." "Rooster sauce." "And second of all, ain't no reason we can't get Fifty Shades of Grey in the library!" "We talked about this, Jefferson." "Fed's not gonna subsidize erotica." "I've got a copy." "I've got one, too." "Fifty Shade." "I withdraw my request." "But Maria's straight up about the pillows." "Pillows again." "Chapman." "You're done?" "Far as I know." "Okay." "The thing is, I think that a few basic changes could drastically improve the quality of life." "Like clinic hours every week for preventative health care." "And re-opening the track." "And maybe legal counseling." "And the GED program." "Now, I understand that there's a mold situation in the classroom, but this needs to be addressed." "The inmates down the hill, they get classes, and they are not getting out any time soon." "We are here for shorter stays." "We should be learning to improve ourselves, as students or even teachers." "Something's telling me she has a teacher in mind." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Chang, you're up." "Okay, Mr. Healy." "Okay." "Lay it on me, Chang." "Okay." "Good." "We got a good list going here, some good ideas." "Now, the problem as I see it..." "No, sir, I really think that is that we have a budget situation." "Now, I can do my best, but it's gonna be hard for me to do all these things and still be able to bring donuts to our meetings every month." "And coffee." "Well, we tried." "(CHUCKLING)" "What just happened?" "You were there." "We finally get an opportunity to make some improvements around here and..." "Don't be gettin' all Amistad on me, Chapman." "Healy look like he gunning for change?" "Okay, but what about your campaign promises?" "Everyone say shit to get elected." "You ain't actually gotta do it." "That's politics." "I got a disciplinary board hearing this week, which, if they don't take away my good time, I go home." "Healy said he would write a letter vouching for me." "I ain't looking to make waves." "Glassy water." "Smooth sailin' right on out of here." "So this whole WAC thing is basically bullshit." "Just take the donuts, girl." "PENNSATUCKY:" "Can you believe her?" "That college bitch thinks she can come up in here and take charge of shit with her nice teeth and her pinky stuck up in the air." "She's got a surprise coming." "Is it a pony?" "Just shut your trap, Lurch." "Nobody cares what's comin' outta them slit licking' lips." "Did you vote for her?" "No." "Did you vote for her?" "Who voted for that bitch, raise your hand!" "Raise it." "That's what I thought." "Some Garden-of-Gethsemane shit up in here, y'all." "Chapman is a Judas Iscariot, cozied on up to the High Priest Healy." "And he throws out my vote." "My votes that were bestowed upon me from my Lord, and gives her all the silver?" "So in this analogy, you're Jesus Christ?" "I've been betrayed." "Oh, gosh!" "Oh, no, no." "(BANGING ON DOOR) Uh..." "Gonna be a while." "I'm a little backed up in here." "Sorry." "(BANG ON DOOR)" "We were starting to think you deserted us." "I tried making that coconut cake myself." "Nicky called it "coco-not."" "(CHUCKLES)" "What pain did you bring down on her for that?" "She was right." "Your cake is inimitable." "Norma got me an improve-your-vocabulary book out of the library." "You got to keep the brain cells working, or they die." "To be honest, there's a few things I wouldn't mind forgetting." "Norma saw you in the library, bent over a law book like a boy hiding a titty magazine." "I got interests beyond coconut cake." "So does every idiot in here." "Where's my Mexican vanilla?" "Oh." "Everything off the books lives like Anne Frank now." "Seems like a lot of trouble." "You get too comfortable, people take advantage." "You got it under control?" "Don't go looking for miracles, Claudette." "You and me, we figured out how to do time." "(GRUNTING)" "Well, at least it's better than SHU, right?" "I mean, the isolation must just be terrible." "Or not." "I've never been to SHU." "I've read that it can be very loud down there, with people yelling at each other all the time?" "When I said that I'd never been to SHU, did that make me sound like an asshole?" "Because obviously I didn't..." "Fuck, Chapman." "Ah!" "Here's why the floodlights went out." "It looks like a rat got to this." "Ew!" "I fucking hate rats." "My brother had one while we were growing up." "It was kind of cute, actually." "He named it Antonio." "I saw one chewed up a baby's face." "I named it "fuckin' face-chewing rat."" "You gonna fix the wire or what?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Ah!" "Shit!" "Did you turn off the switch?" "I thought that you turned off the switch." "Oh, man!" "It's okay." "It's my fault." "So you're back in the rooms, huh?" "I hope they didn't stick you with De Marco." "I mean, she's super nice and everything, but, man, that breathing machine can just drive you bonkers." "You know, if you want, I can make you some ear plugs." "I take a little bit of stuffing out of a pillow, and I just smush it up in some Vaseline, and then I wrap it up in some plastic wrap from the sack lunches." "The rooms is full, all right?" "I'm in the ghetto tonight." "But you could still use them in there." "I'll make you some, okay?" "Jesus fucking shit." "Sorry?" "What?" "It was you." "What?" "The screwdriver what." "Acting all sweet like a piece of candy." "Nobody's sweet in here except for a reason." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Do not fucking lie to me, bitch." "Do not fucking insult me after what you done already." "In my defense," "I would just like to point out that technically, you did not go down because of the screwdriver." "Technically, you went down to SHU because you got all up in Caputo's face." "Lady, we in a tight-ass space and I bench 140." "You sure "technically" is how you wanna handle this shit?" "Are you gonna say anything?" "I ain't a snitch." "Damn!" "See?" "This one got the same number on both ends." "The first time you play that, it's called a spinner." "You have to play the ends and the sides, both." "Like a no-class girl lets you use any hole." "(CHUCKLING)" "Yeah." "These are all the places I'm gonna travel when I get out." "Starting with Anguilla." "I read that Orlando Bloom honeymooned there." "And Courteney Cox and David Arquette, even though that didn't work out." "I love the beach, but I burn like a lobster, so I'm gonna get a good swim shirt and, bonus, it's gonna hide the gallbladder scar." "Oh, yeah." "Sure." "Come on." "Okay, bitches, who's first in line for some puppy lovin'?" "Puppy lovin'!" "He's so cute." "He looks just like my dog from when I was a kid." "Except mine was more of a Dachshund, but the nostril part is the same." "You look just like Chummy." "Make him do a trick." "She doesn't know any yet." "Well, maybe you can take some time off from sitting around eating all day, and teach him something." "(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)" "(MOUTHING) Fucking asshole." "Chapman wrote me three letters for my case and it did fuck-all." "They ain't letting' people out who hasn't done their whole time." "Well, I ain't people." "I'm training for this, bitch." "And I ain't never comin' back, neither, not like the rest of y'all." "Like Oprah say, "the road less traveled."" "You know, that doesn't mean what everybody thinks it means." "Aw, shit, we about to get educated and shit." "No, no, no." "I'm just saying that everyone thinks the poem means to break away from the crowd and, like, do your own thing." "But if you read it, Frost is very clear that the two roads are exactly the same." "He just chooses one at random." "And then it's only later at a dinner party, when he's talking about it that he tells everybody he chose the road less traveled by, but he's lying." "So the point of the poem is, that everyone wants to look back and think that their choices mattered, but in reality, shit just happens the way that it happens, and it does not mean anything." "I will probably kill her in her sleep tonight." "Wake me up so I can watch." "I'm gonna..." "Laundry." "You ever notice how some dog breeds, they sound kind of dirty?" "Like, shih tzu, cocker, Jack-something." "Poodle." "(LAUGHING) That is good." "I didn't think of that one." "That is very clever." "BIG BOO:" "Hey, you know what, guys?" "Look at that face." "I'm gonna call her Little Boo." "Aw!" "Little Boo." "Who's a little boo?" "Yes!" "Hello?" "ALEX:" "It's closed." "Alex?" "I was just gonna drop this off, but..." "Tomorrow." "Just give it." "Give it to me." "MAN ON PA:" "Attention all personnel, be advised count is off." "Can we please conduct a recount?" "Do you remember the Four Seasons in the Seychelles?" "Gosh, we just threw our laundry into the hallway, it was like 40 bucks for a pair of pants." "(SIGHING) Hey." "I've been thinking about it a lot." "And I just wanted to let you know that there are no hard feelings." "I was pretty angry, but, I'm over it." "So, um..." "Friend?" "Wow." "That's really big of you, Pipes." "(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)" "It's not a club." "It's a class." "They teach you to dance on a pole." "If you want to be a stripper, you can wait until I die." "It's not stripping." "It's for nice ladies, housewives." "For exercise." "That's what they tell you!" "Then one day you wake up in Atlantic City... where girls are trash... and I'm lighting candles under your picture." "Can we please speak English at the table?" "Just at the table?" "(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)" "Two more years for a green card." "Be nice." "You don't have to fuck him." "(LAUGHING)" "I should be lucky, a decent man wants to fuck me." "Oy." "English." "He's not eating." "English." "You look very pretty in that dress." "Thank you, Sam." "It is very blue." "You guys ever notice how, once you're a couple, you pretty much only hang out with other couples?" "A guy, a girl and another guy?" "It just looks weird." "People probably just assume you're divorced." "Oh." "Great, so, I look divorced, which conveys sadness and ex-wife shit and lawyers' fees, or I look single, 34 and single, which must mean there's something wrong with me." "Like, you keep large reptiles in tanks." "Or I have a very special relationship with my mother." "I just look like a loser." "Why don't you switch seats with Pete?" "You're okay being a loser, right, babe?" "I don't wanna look like a loser." "Okay, now look, what am I complaining about, right?" "I mean, seriously, you know?" "We're sitting here, we're gonna enjoy some small plates, while Piper sits in prison." "You know what?" "Fuck Piper." "She's in prison and it sucks." "Let's also stipulate there are children are dying of diarrhea in Malawi." "That doesn't mean we don't get to complain about our lives." "I am pregnant and the heat in our apartment is always too high and it gives me nosebleeds, and that is happening." "Pete isn't getting laid and he's grown that horrible beard." "You look like a loser." "We're all allowed to feel shitty about things in our lives that are shitty." "And happy about things that are awesome." "Like this awesome beard!" "Ugh." "And your column." "What?" "That's happening?" "Who can resist a "Felonious Fiancee" story, right?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Yeah, it's, it's totally happening." "New York Times, baby." ""Modern Love."" "That's huge!" "Yeah." "Does Piper know?" "Is she cool about it?" "(STUTTERING) I mean, sort of." "Yeah, I mean, she's sorting out her feelings," "I guess, you know." "I'm going to tell her tomorrow, you know." "Now that it's for sure." "(RHYTHMIC THUMPING)" "INMATE 1:" "Oh, man!" "(HEAVY PANTING)" "INMATE 2:" "What's up with that, girl?" "INMATE 3:" "Would you shut the fuck up." "I know you ain't fucking with my beauty rest, yo." "It's fucking Watson, man." "They closed the track on me, haters." "I ain't gonna get soft like the rest of y'all." "Look, none of that's gonna matter when they throw your ass in SHU, part two." "I got 10 minutes before the CO come back around." "Man, somebody get this bitch a hamster wheel." "What you gonna do about it, Jemima?" "The hell you just call me?" "(LAUGHING)" "I said, what you gonna do?" "(WHOOPING)" "COACH:" "Lightning fast!" "Did you see the Fillmore coach's face?" "He had no idea what happened to him." "You happened to him." "I just ran, Coach." "Well, Watson, you just ran yourself into the high school record book." "That gonna help with scholarships?" "Girl, colleges will be fighting over you." "(BOTH CHUCKLING)" "Now, you get dressed." "Okay." "I'll introduce you around, all right?" "They're all waiting." "You ran good." "I know it." "The universe did you wrong." "Then they took away your track, I get it." "What you talking 'bout, you get it?" "Yo, go on back to the suburbs, string cheese." "I was like you once." "Pissed off, thought the world owed me something." "It took me a long time to let go of that anger." "Bitch, you lying to yourself with this whole Namaste bullshit." "You're a step ahead already, channeling your feelings through physical activity, which means, the mind and body connect." "Who touched you, yo?" "Was it your uncle?" "Your daddy?" "Okay, you want to project your issues onto me?" "That's cool." "But I feel bad for you." "(LAUGHS)" "That negative energy is gonna eat you up inside." "(SCOFFS)" "Man, you this deep in the shit, you must have done something fucking evil." "Huh?" "Why you in here, yo?" "Did you kill someone?" "You fucked a kid?" "Oh!" "You kill a kid?" "(GASPS)" "That's what I thought." "Huh!" "(CHATTERING ON RADIO)" "(KNOCK ON DOOR)" "HEALY:" "Chapman, come in." "Or vojdite, as they say in Kiev." "Ahh!" "Are you planning a vacation?" "If I were, it would be somewhere you drink rum out of a mini volcano." "(LAUGHS)" "What can I do for you?" "The track." "You know, I once saw this lecture on YouTube called" ""23 and 1/2 Hours."" "It's one of those things where someone draws on a whiteboard?" "And it says..." "Well, if the Internet says it, then we better listen up, eh?" "(SIGHS)" "Hmm." "How much money does this institution spend on healthcare per year?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Walking for a half an hour a day reduces the risk of anxiety, arthritis, depression, things like dementia and diabetes." "It helps with everything." "If you could save money on medical expenses with something as simple as walking, why wouldn't you?" "I mean, in the long term..." "No one here gives a crap about the long term, Chapman." "Yo, Preparation H." "Oops." "Sorry." "I'll come back when you're done taking orders." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Sitting around all day is the worst possible thing that you can do for your body." "We're already doing the time." "I've got a deal for you, Chapman." "Caputo thinks a CO's been putting inside photos on the Internet, but I think that kind of nonsense is too stupid even for a CO." "I don't know what you're asking." "Let's say an inmate is hiding a camera or a cell phone or something." "And you find it for me, I'll take a look at opening that track." "Prison's a big place, Mr. Healy." "I have confidence in you." "MAN ON PA:" "Prisoner return to custody." "Prisoner return to custody." "What's with the grin, Bennett?" "You got some new silk panties on?" "(LAUGHING)" "Or what, you get laid or something?" "Oh, shit!" "(LAUGHING) Bennett got laid!" "Come on, man." "Spill the beans, you fucking pussy monster." "Was she Asian?" "No." "I hear their shit goes sideways." "Well?" "Go ahead." "Okay, I got laid." "Yes!" "I knew it!" "I knew it, you dirty whore!" "Come on." "(BREATHING HEAVILY) I couldn't be prouder if I was your dad." "Tell me, man." "What about her tits?" "Were they like big floppy fucking milk jugs or a nice, tight, little handful?" "What was it?" "They were fake." "Oh!" "She's half-Asian, half-Brazilian." "(GROANS)" "She's got this sister." "(GASPS)" "(EXHALES)" "Jesus fucking Christ." "Miss Jefferson, why do you deserve to be released?" "Thank you, sir." "Let the record show" "I only had three infractions for all my time here." "One was for smacking a bitch for not respecting my ice machine choices, and, well, the second..." "They was bullshit." "Also, I ain't never missed a day workin' in the library." "Don't say, "workin'," say, "employed." The shit sound more elegant." "Also, maybe go easy on the bitch-smacking?" "Like, don't bring that shit up." "All right." "Miss Jefferson, what have you learned from your time in prison?" "Learned?" "I ain't learned nothing." "I came in this motherfucker innocent, I'm still innocent." "You keep talkin' about innocent, you gonna slide on back in here like you got a magnet up your ass." "I ain't do nothing." "Look, me, neither, all right?" "We are all just in here 'cause we took a wrong turn goin' to church." "Listen, what you did or didn't do." "That shit is irrelevant now." "You gotta show remorse, fool." "Tell 'em you met Jesus, you go and seen the error of your ways." "Now you gonna help the underprivileged youth learn to play chess or whatnot." "You know, so they don't end up like your sorry ass self." "Man, I ain't sorry!" "Aye, look, look, look." "This bitch!" "Tell 'em, tell 'em you goin' to college." "Man, what if I did?" "(LAUGHING)" "What you gonna major in?" "Ebonics?" "I could be a law secretary." "The shit I learned in my job, I'm like Rain Man with that shit." "You know what, sit your ass down." "It's time to get serious." "(SIGHS)" "What you gonna do about hair?" "Oh!" "(FLORES CHATTING IN SPANISH)" "But if you get some puta pregnant... (CHATTING IN SPANISH CONTINUES)" "Gonna go and bounce on daddy's lap?" "What did I do now?" "Don't be all cute, college." "Have you seen my teeth?" "Like, really?" "Wow." "They're..." "Pretty fucked up, huh?" "Yeah." "Genetics mostly." "Oh." "But my cousin, she's doin' 15 over at Lexington, and she got a whole new set from the United States of America," "D-O-C." "Congratulations." "So it's fine that you're teacher's pet and all, but let's, like, see what you can do." "You want new teeth?" "Oh!" "Because of WAC." "The thing is, I don't think I can." "It's not even a real thing." "You think you're some kind of special, don't you?" "No, I'm serious." "It's a scam." "Which, when you think about it, we really all should've seen coming." "(SCOFFS) Let me tell you something, college." "They're gonna treat you nice and they're gonna use you." "Then when you're all used up, you ain't gonna be nothin'." "Knock it off, Pennsatucky." "You selling' us out?" "For what?" "Now, if it was me, I think I'd leave the grunt work to the grunts." "Hmm." "I let the girls do this, half the potato comes off with the peel." "Seems to me like you're just aching to put that down for a few and make me a sandwich." "Not particularly." "What kind?" "Balogna and cheese." "No mustard." "Double the mayo." "Oh... (CHUCKLES)" "This is great." "This makes me very happy." "See?" "You didn't want to do it at first, right?" "But, now, I'm happy, and it's no big deal for you." "What do you want?" "I wanna be friends." "Friends who take care of each other." "You got boxes coming in with a little something extra." "Maybe your guy gets with my guy and brings in something extra for me." "No problem." "Just tell me if you want zit cream or pantyhose." "What my guy sends, it's a little more of a specialty item." "Since when are pills so special?" "Give you 5%." "(CHUCKLES)" "What am I supposed to do with 5%?" "Burn it for heat?" "My commissary maxes out at $300 and I got all the toothpaste I need." "10%, final offer." "I don't do that shit!" "This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit!" "It doesn't matter what you do." "It's the doing that makes you dirty." "Don't play games with me, Red." "You got no more moves, Mendez." "This is it, man." "There is nothing here." "You got nothing on me." "Oh, man!" "Guess things just got messy in here." "Everything's been deleted off this phone except for these photos." "I know!" "People, right?" "Well, where was it?" "In the trash can." "Where?" "I don't know, I just found it." "You know, I appreciate that fact that you don't wanna snitch on anyone." "The way these inmates treat snitches, it's ugly." "But if you can't tell me who owns this phone," "I'm afraid I can't help you with the track." "That is not what you said to me." "You said specifically..." "I'm sorry, I don't know what you heard." "But, unless I have a name..." "Enjoy the phone." "Nice work, Chapman." "I'm giving you one more minute to pout and then I'm shaving you bald." "(LAUGHING)" "Sporting a chunk of white girl hair, look like you took a scalp or some shit." "Yo, yo, you need to get you that" "Michelle Obama hair, for reals." "White folks scared of Obama." "I wanna look like Mo'Nique from Essence magazine, 2008." "Girl, please, ain't enough relaxer in the world for that bullshit." "Now what makes you so sure the board is white?" "Point." "True." "There be brothers on the board, I'm gonna be free at last, yo, 'cause ain't no black man gonna let a fine black woman such as me hide her light in jail." "Fool, brother is gonna be harder on you, to show he got no bias." "Shit, you better hope for the whities." "Yo, hope for white women." "Y'all know how they love drinking wine with their friends, talking 'bout how sad it is, black folks ain't got their fair shakes." "What, giving their housekeepers a extra day off and shit." "Y'all know what I'm saying?" "So you wanna look like the black best friend in the white girl movie?" "Right." "Okay, so you got Regina King in Miss Congeniality." "You got Alicia Keys in that Nanny Diaries bullshit with ScarJo." "I didn't see that." "And Regina King in Legally Blonde." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Now, you not thinking big enough." "What?" "Viola Davis." "Oh." "Eat Pray Love, motherfuckers!" "I gotta live with this hair, yo." "Do me like Rihanna." "Rihanna when?" "She had, like, 26 hairdos in the past two years." "2009 Rihanna, I got to spell that shit out for you?" "Look, everybody's still hatin' on Chris Brown, so maybe they'll throw me a bone gettin' back at that fool." "(WOMEN AGREEING)" "♪ Beat a bitch down" "♪ If you're named Chris Brown" "♪ Beat a bitch down ♪" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "The fuck is that?" "Litchfield one, pussy shutterbug zero." "You put a straw in coffee?" "I just had my teeth bleached." "Where was it?" "Healy found it." "Good to know someone around here is on his game." "He "found" it?" "You're buying that, no contest?" "(SNORTS) What, you think Healy's running around here like a frat boy taking pictures of snatch?" "I think we should look into it." "Seems kind of irrelevant now, don't you think?" "We both know you're after my job, Joe." "But I'm not worried." "Never have been." "Know why?" "'Cause you get mired down in pettiness instead of stepping your shit up." "Nice haircut, by the way." "Thanks." "Sure." "I keep feeling like I know you from somewhere." "You didn't go to Smith, did you?" "Cabot High Wildcats?" "Nope." "You know, I lived in Red Hook for a while after college." "I used to bag groceries at Fairway." "No way!" "Oh, my God, I remember you." "You were always forgetting your cloth bags." "And I would pack everything in paper and then you'd remember and get the bags out of your purse and make me re-pack everything." "Oh, boy." "Yeah, I guess that did happen a couple of times, huh." "Every time." "For months." "You were a pain in the ass." "Well..." "Who'da thunk we'd end up here, huh?" "Anyway, I just want you to know, that as far as I'm concerned, you and me are the same." "Pardon?" "The only difference between us is, when I made bad decisions in life, I didn't get caught." "It coulda been me here in khaki, easy." "Thank you for saying that." "You know, it's really nice to know that there's somebody on our side." "Well, you know." "You know what would really help to boost morale around here?" "You know, I saw that bitch heading on over to Healy's office, looking guilty as fuck." "Guess sucking' dick's a little easier than honest hard work." "I feel sorry for her." "You're right, Leanne." "Compassion is what we got over the monkeys." "You know what, though?" "Compassion ain't gonna help this girl learn the way of things." "I learned, we all learned." "And that is that you have get broken down to get raised back up." "You know, I'm with you, hon." "Really." "She's Waspy and entitled and always asking if you have this in whole grain, she's got the Bambi shtick going on, I get all of it." "But I'm gonna need you to shut the fuck up about her and get over your shit." "Or what?" "Or I will fuck you." "Literally." "I will sneak into your bunk in the middle of the night and I'll lick your pussy." "And I will do it so good and so soft that you're gonna be on the edge of coming by the time you wake up, and then I'll stop." "And you'll be half asleep and you'll beg for it." "Oh, you will beg for it." "And maybe I'll be nice, and maybe I won't, but if I am nice?" "The things you feel?" "They will ruin you forever." "So, you know, choose." "And exhale slowly." "And float all the way down." "Halfway up," "and now roll all the way down again," "bend at the waist, and let the arms hang." "And continue to breathe, and hang." "(LOUD HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "Hey, what up?" "Hi." "You got a minute?" "My man, Three-D, wants to chat." "You that track and field girl, right?" "Yeah." "You can't be here, yo." "Little Frank told me to come on by." "Little Frank is not a forward thinker." "Look around you." "What you see?" "A party." "People." "What kinda people?" "Your crew." "My crew, we thugs." "We ain't finished school, we got what we got until the next bust." "It look like you're doing okay to me." "(SIGHS)" "You're the real thing, you feel me?" "Everything we playin' at, everything we holdin', you can have it for real." "You wanna fuck that up, that's on you." "I can't carry that." "Yo, Richie." "Make sure she gets home." "You need money for sneakers or whatever, give me a shout." "I know where the door is." "What up, rocket girl?" "(TEARFULLY) I got booted, that's what." "Well, Three-D got his own ideas about right and wrong, like he Robin Hood or something." "And who are you?" "You wanna party, I'm the brother that's not gonna stop you." "You know, 'cause you got those thick thighs on you, girl, like..." "Look good on a woman." "Yeah." "I usually go running and..." "Now, that dress, that's not doin' you any favors." "Let's share." "Thank you." "Dude, $3 tip on a $67 tab?" "What, is 70 your lucky number or something?" "What is that?" "D-bag." "(SCOFFS)" "What'll you have?" "(SIGHS)" "This." "I'm buying you a drink." "Uh..." "Margarita?" "Okay." "Let me ask you something." "Do I seem pathetic to you?" "Before or after you asked that question?" "This is my first time out by myself." "First time in a long time, I mean." "And I just don't wanna be, you know, that guy." "That guy?" "That guy's worth about $75 million." "Yeah." "He writes action movies about robots that turn into other robots, or something." "And he tips well." "You're doing just fine." "Cheers." "And to you." "So what's your story?" "(CLEARS THROAT) Jesus Christ." "What?" "What's my story?" "I'm sorry, did I piss you off?" "No, you..." "Yes." "Yes, I'm pissed off." "Because, you're gorgeous." "Your mouth is amazing." "Your neck?" "My God, your ass looks great in those jeans." "No offense, I'm sorry, I just..." "And I feel shitty for even looking at you." "Because I have a fiancee." "And you know what else I can't do?" "Look at her." "Because she's in fucking prison." "Yeah, yeah, because she did something stupid and crazy and... (SIGHS) ...indicative of an ominously shaky moral compass." "And as a result I am stuck here, alone, at this bar." "Talking to you and enjoying it and feeling like an asshole." "Polly was right." "Fuck her." "I'm gonna be in the New York Times." "(SIGHS)" "(BUTTONS BEEPING)" "CAPUTO:" "Track is back open." "F-your-I." "Pardon me?" "I'm reassigning Fischer, eight hours a week." "Her request." "Apparently, there's some film thing going around, 23 hours or whatever, says how exercise saves us bucks in the long term." "Which appeals to you, 'cause you're chief bean-counter now, right?" "Uhh..." "Fig is gonna eat that shit up." "You come up with this in a vision or something?" "It was all Fischer." "Trust the woman, right?" "Doesn't threaten me to admit it, that is one smart piece of ass." "FLORES: (SCREAMING) No, no, no, no, no!" "Mi Diablo!" "No!" "(SOBBING)" "(SCREAMING)" "Holy shit." "Jesus Christ, Flores." "(SOBBING)" "That was the only place in this prison I could take a shit." "Fuck!" "Fucking dios." "You make them wait, it ain't gonna help." "Have a seat, Miss Jefferson." "(ALARM BLARING)" "Yo." "Yo, you see that nigga face?" "Yo, Islam motherfucker got so much beard, he ain't seen his own face since high school." "Ain't no Islam, he a Sikh." "You racist." "(POLICE SIREN WAILING)" "Hit the corner, hit the corner." "We gonna lose 'em at the corner." "Wait up, yo!" "Come on!" "I said, wait up." "Don't be showin' off." "Put your hands where I can see them!" "Get down on the ground." "Get down on the ground!" "Okay, okay." "This don't make us even." "Okay."