"* what can you say?" "* what can you do?" "* nobody ever said she'd grow old with you * * one day, you turn around, and they're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone * * one day, you'll sing yourself a love song, like a bird *" "* it shouldn't matter to you if it never gets heard * * another day, another love * another wedding bell ringing off the park * * one day, you'll turn around, and they're gone, gone, gone," "gone, gone * * double, double, this, this * double, double, that, that * double this, double that * double, double, this, that * higher education, fancy education *" "* somebody making money selling equal signs * * fancy, fancy friends and fancy, fancy parks * * somebody making money selling social life * * one day * people, people * the world is bigger * people, people" "* the world is bigger * people, people * the world is bigger * people, people * the world is bigger * people, people * the world is bigger." "I got to get my shirt." "Okay." "* one day." "I'm really happy we're doing this." "Yeah." "I think it's a really good thing." "Do you?" "Any place with you with a good thing." "Besides, we need to take the "in" ""good times and bad" vow, right?" "This is gonna be great practice for the bad." "My name is father heery, and welcome to your engagement encounter." "I know that some of you are here only because this program is a prerequisite for being married in the catholic church." "The church, who I represent, has gotten many things wrong in its past." "This, I think, is one of the things that we've gotten right." "[Laughing] Oh, wow." "Wow, she set everything up without me." "Huh." "[Laughs]" "Cool." "Hello, you two." "[Laughs]" "Come inside." "I have champagne." "[Laughs]" "Come on." "Make it snappy." "Come on, babe." "[Laughs]" "[Indistinct conversation]" "Yes?" "Yeah." "Great." "[Laughs]" "More?" "Yeah." "Okay, that's good." "All right." "Thank you." "[Laughter]" "Let me see that." "Oh." "Oh." "I know." "It was burning hole in my pocket." "Could not wait until" "Christmas Eve." "And you never know if another guy was gonna swoop in and ask her first." "[Laughs]" "I'd have to start throwing punches, just like you taught me." "Oh, yeah... stomach, chin, nose." "[Both laugh]" "Oh, Deb, I'm so glad that you're with us for the holidays." "Now, if there are any special traditions or foods that remind you of Christmas at your folks's house, please tell me." "Everything pastry." "Deb doesn't even need a reminder of Christmas." "Yeah, just put it out." "I will inhale." "[Laughter]" "I'm gonna balloon this weekend." "Oh, please." "There's plenty of time before you have to slip into that wedding gown." "You can burn off those final calories before the rehearsal dinner." "Just find a church with a really long aisle." "[Laughter]" "Good idea." "So, you're getting married in the church?" "We've been engaged for five hours, mom." "Okay." "Nice." "Debbie, I don't know what your family traditions are for" "Christmas Eve, but Melissa and roddy and I go to midnight mass." "Maybe you can get this guy to join us?" "For old time's sake?" "I'm gonna go get the luggage." "Especially since it's being offered in his father's honor." "You know, it's 15 years this year?" "I don't need a mass to remind me." "I was saying that to Debbie." "Why don't you think of it as a celebration?" "It's not an occasion I feel like celebrating." "How much did they charge you to say the mass in dad's memory, by the way?" "It's a suggested donation, and I gave more than they suggested, 'cause I want to be in good with the lord so he'll let me lobby for your salvation." "Oh, how the song remains the same." "Okay, time for bed." "We have a party tomorrow." "Mwah!" "[Laughs]" "Honey, I understand how someone can lose their faith in this day and age, but you get older, and it can... mom." "Oh, honey, I'm sorry." "Yes." "Too much champagne." "Uh, I'm sorry for bringing all this up on your big night." "I-I was just trying to... you were just talking about the weekend." "[Laughs]" "Yeah." "The weekend." "[Laughs]" "Oh, I'm so glad you're here, both of you." "And I am overtired, so I'm gonna go up, say my prayers, and thank" "God that you two found one another and that you decided to do something about it." "[Laughs]" "We were the same age you are now... now." "Too many people your age wait too long." "But I always thought that if you find the right person, you should get on with living life together before life gets in the way and messes things up." "Mom, I love you." "Oh." "I know." "I love you, honey." "He would have been so happy for you." "[Laughs]" "I know." "Really, good night." "Let me assure you that this weekend is not for the church." "It's for you... the couple as a couple." "If you immerse yourself in the work of this weekend, it can be the greatest experience of your relationship so far." "Who here can say that their fiancé is the first person to whom they've said "I love you"" "in an adult, romantic way?" "Thank you." "By most of you not raising your hand, you've admitted that your fiancé is not the first person you've loved." "And that's not surprising." "People get married later nowadays, but what it does suggest is that this thing that we call love is not the only thing that makes a marriage last." "I mean, if it were, you'd still be with those other people." "The feeling would be enough." "Ladies and gentlemen, the road to marriage is littered with the broken plans of many wonderful couples who, with full-throated conviction, stepped to the altar and vowed the most serious of promises but then, for, oh, a" "variety of reasons, decided to separate." "What's with father doomsday?" "Shh." "And yet, you are convinced your marriage will be different." "Your workbooks are for a process called t.W.O.S..." "Talking, writing, openness, and sharing." "And you'll be led in some exercises by our married couple," "Theresa and Mike." "[Applause]" "All right." "* let's get this party started [laughs]" "All right, we'd like you each to write down your fiancé's most endearing quality and then turn and tell them." "Come on." "You're an amazing friend." "Your kindness." "Oh, you're actually doing this?" "Two seconds." "You are the most unselfish person I know." "I don't come close to my mother." "I dispute that." "Your endless optimism." "[Both laugh]" "You're a great lay." "[Chuckles] What?" "Your dedication to your work." "You're good at organizing clutter." "I don't think I heard the question right." "Yeah..." "No." "Your sense of humor." "I mean, cook." "Good cook." "Yummy stuff always." "Okay." "I'm changing mine." "Everything." "That can't be true." "That can't be true." "I knew you'd say that, so I started a footnoted list underneath "everything," like your smile, which conveys your deep reserves of kindness, your willingness to believe the best about people, uh, your" "generosity of spirit, of laughter, the way you focus your eyes when you're really listening, the sigh you make after we make love..." "Okay, okay." "Your total determination to achieve every position from that "position of the day" desk calendar you bought me." "[Laughing] We're in a church." "Look, God is all-knowing." "I mean, your flexibility is no secret to him." "We have a lot to accomplish, so try, while you're here, to get your mind off your wedding plans... the bridesmaid who hates her dress, the groomsman who still hasn't given you his tuxedo sizes." "[Laughs]" "Clear your head of all the expectations, all the worries, and relax." "Close your eyes." "Come on, come on." "Close your eyes and think about the early moments right after you got engaged." "Close my eyes with a priest in the room?" "[Laughs]" "No, sir." "Think about the early moments after you said "yes," the moment after you've leaped from hope into faith and the journey toward matrimony began." "I love that we live together in New York, and yet, my mother puts us in separate bedrooms." "It's fun." "You get to sneak in later." "Mm-hmm." "Honey, what is with the cowboy hat?" "Kevin henges shaved half my head." "I think I chose wisely." "Are you gonna ask Kevin to be your best man at the party tomorrow?" "Yeah, if he shows up before dawn." ""Junior class writing award"?" "How come I don't know about this?" "Two guys entered the contest." "I wrote about my dead dad." "He wrote about the virtues of cuervo." "It was your first award as a writer." "And my last." "Doesn't mean there won't be a next." "No." "No, no." "We should wait until Christmas." "You didn't." "[Laughs]" "I saw you pick it up at the store that time, and you looked at it for a while." "Thank you." "I love it." "[Both laugh]" "No." "Come on." "The journal's enough." ""The artist's way."" "It says that if you write three pages every morning, just whatever's on your mind, it inspires stuff, and it lets your imagination run wild." "I've become less intrigued with my imagination." "Ever since you met me." "No, I went back to school before I met you." "I just knew I needed to do something practical and useful." "People come in injured and they leave healed." "I like that." "I've read your stories, and I love your stories." "You moved to New York to become a writer." "You know what my dream is?" "You and me and our family-to-be." "[Laughs]" "Speaking of which, maybe we should get started on making that family right now?" "Shh." "Your mom will hear." "No." "I'm not gonna scream." "I'm not gonna scream this time," "I promise." "[Indistinct conversations]" "Mary..." "[Laughs]" "Who do you think has played" ""margaritaville" more?" "Me or Jimmy buffett?" "[Both laugh]" "I never really liked doing drugs till I met you." "Mm-hmm." "Aww." "[Laughs]" "Wait till I introduce you to cannibalism." "[Laughing] What?" "[Laughs]" "Are you kidding?" "[Both laugh]" "I've never seen people eat so many cold cuts." "Your platter design was irresistible." "I found that meat like a caterer." "Mm, mm." "I'm thinking of moving out here and starting my own business." "You only got laid off three weeks ago." "You're gonna find a better situation." "Look, I e-mailed Dave your résumé." "He's gonna get it to people." "I'm not asking you to fix it." "You know, there was a time when a guy could help fix something and it wasn't called fixing." "It was called loving." "Oh, yeah?" "Oh, yeah?" "Oh, yeah?" "[Both laugh]" "Thinks Christmas is good." "[Laughing] Yes." "Mcguire." "Oh!" "Hey, hey!" "[Laughs]" "Kevin, you stinker." "Oh, has that nativity scene ever looked better?" "Yes, in 1993, just before you drop-kicked the bear." "There were no bears in" "Bethlehem." "Mrs. mcguire, time to face the facts, huh?" "I like chipmunks." "Well, where is your drunken son?" "In the backyard, canoodling with his fiancée." "His what?" "!" "[Laughs]" "So..." "What the fuck?" "!" "Merry Christmas." "What the fuck?" "!" "[Both laugh]" "Hey, kids, Santa claus is here." "Hey, beautiful!" "Hey." "Congratulations!" "How am I finding this out right now?" "Am I that out of the loop?" "No, man, no loop." "Don't tell me that there is some New York imposter best friend that you conferred with instead of me." "I didn't need to confer." "I just needed to do it." "Kev, where's your new girlfriend?" "Uh, date." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Where's your date?" "Inside bothering your mom." "[Laughs]" "I'll go save her." "All right." "Uh..." "Glassy eyes, tight jeans." "Oh, just my type." "Mm-hmm." "[Both laugh]" "I'll see you after church." "Mwah!" "You don't need to represent." "[Laughs]" "No, it'll make your mom happy." "Oh." "All right." "I think he'll be a good best man." "Fun best man." "Yeah." "[Both laugh]" "I got it." "Shut up. [Laughs]" "Cheers, asshole." "Cheers, you fuck-wad." "[Laughs]" "[Indistinct conversations, [laughter]" "Sure, your boobs get huge when you get pregnant, but once my sister quit nursing, hers looks like two blown tires." "Like, literally, two blown tires." "Pbht!" "Pbht!" "Pbht!" "I mean..." "Kind of like that." "So..." "What's the story?" "Are you dying?" "Yeah, eventually." "But there hasn't been a recent diagnosis of some life-ending illness?" "I love her." "I'm never gonna find any better." "That's no reason to stop exploring the nether regions of all the rest of womankind." "You are 28 years old, sir." "Old enough to start living my life with someone else." "Oh, hey, Andy Rooney, drink a beer, huh?" "[Laughs]" "[Groans]" "God, global warming, huh?" "I love it." "[Laughs]" "[Laughs]" "Hey, I got to ask you something." "If I'm shocked?" "Yes." "What?" "Spill it." "I knew you dug her." "She seems cool." "But you've only brought her back home like twice, and, yeah, I was a little buzzed both times." "Yes." "And, yes, she's got a rockin' body, making her 100% fuckable... whoa!" "You were a well-traveled connoisseur of numerous vaginas before you met her." "Oh, let's don't exaggerate." "And as a fellow fan of vaginas... can you quiet down, please?" "I came out of one." "I'm allowed to use the word." "[Chuckles]" "I'm just saying... to see an enthusiastic vaginal aficionado veer off course and, without warning, settle on just one, well, it is quite... you might as admit... portentous." "Are you done?" "Well..." "It's as it should be." "For some sorry bastards." "So, how'd you finally know?" "You know, deep down, you know pretty quickly." "You just don't admit you know because..." "I don't know... you wait until you feel like you're the type of man who's worthy to ask someone to say "yes."" "Who are you?" "The fucking riddler?" "Tell me about a blinding white light." "There's no lights." "There's no signs." "It's just a decision to spend the rest of your life with someone else, and it's picking that someone else." "Well, if that's the case, I should probably just blow my fucking head off." "[Door opens]" "Come on!" "Come off it!" "You couldn't tell me over the phone?" "!" "Way to go!" "Thanks, man." "I wanted to tell you in person." "Oh!" "Oh, Kevin, merry Christmas." "And to you, man." "It's roddy, for probably like the fifth time." "[Laughs]" "Yeah, yeah." "Sorry." "I spaced my contact." "Yeah, that's what you said last year, but whatever, man." "I'll let it slip because right now, my brother-in-law's finally getting engaged!" "Oh, fantastic!" "Man, you are gonna love it." "It's work, but it's... but it's great." "And you're great, dom, 'cause I got the bonus." "Well done." "You well done, you." "[Laughs]" "You told me what to say to my boss." "I would have just lamed out and not gone in and got what I deserved." "But I thought about what you said and I said, "dom didn't"" "give me this advice to make me crumble." "He gave me this advice so I" ""could soar."" "I didn't know you'd become a motivational speaker." "I walked in there channeling you." "[Laughs]" "I said to wajowski, "I have"" "done over 17 installations above average, and I came to claim" ""what is rightfully mine."" "And he just, you know, tilted his head a little, paused, ruminated on what he knew to be the truth, and then just cowered, acknowledged my above-and-beyondness and just paid me right there." "He cut my bonus check right there." "Oh, I'm sorry... right here." "Nicely done." "Bank that." "Well, most of it." "Uh, when Melissa's "acting"" ""class" is over, we're gonna splurge and hit up Orlando." "Yeah, epcot center, the water parks, the whole deal... my treat." "No, you and Melissa spend it on yourselves." "No, no." "You've got to come with." "I got a ton of radisson points." "We could stay on the club level, get free breakfast... tons of different juices, the whole deal." "Please, let me just give something back." "We'll get out the calendars." "Yeah, we will." "Oh, my God, I am so lucky I married into this family." "Come here, man." "I love you." "Oh, I love you, too." "[Laughs]" "I guess I'll have to console" "Deb when she finds out what you're really like." "Shut up." "[Laughs]" "How are you?" "Oh, little brother, you did good." "Oh, hey, Kevin." "Melissa, sorry." "Wow." "I didn't even... uh, holy shit, uh, you look incredible." "What the hell?" "Did you get lap-band surgery or something?" "You must have dropped... more than I ever wish I had to." "Oh." "Okay." "Sister." "Wife." "[Both laugh]" "Hey, roddy, you want a beer?" "No, I got to go to church." "I'm gonna need hard alcohol." "No shots." "Oh, for you, my dear, the world and more." "Mwah!" "[Laughs]" "Look at the two of us... the troll and the supermodel." "It's almost as if my reward, for the punishment of me having to be me, is marrying you and then having you transform into this." "[Laughs]" "All right, you Saint Bernard, stop slobbering." "So, mom wanted me to come out here to see if you're gonna come to midnight mass." "She wants to leave early to get a good seat." "Well, no." "I am in too good a mood to relocate to a place that will alter that mood, thank you." "Are you about to reveal a priestly molestation story?" "Uh, I will if it means I don't have to go." "Do it for your big sister." "I can still beat the shit out of you." "Dare you." "[Laughs]" "We're leaving in 15." "Uh, I don't even..." "How?" "The hard way... diet and dedication." "She just got tired of carrying around the extra pounds." "Extra pounds?" "Extra person." "Dude, it's my sister." "No, I grew up with your sister." "That person who was just here I have never met." "I mean, she weighed two bills in junior high." "Now she's like the female subway sandwich guy." "Do not say that to her." "[Clears throat]" "Say what you will, you can't stop me from fucking her in my mind." "Oh, God." "Melissa looks great." "How's her acting classes going?" "Ugh." "Unfortunately, no one's ever written a book called" ""don't follow your dreams."" "[Laughter]" "I'm gonna." "That book will fucking change the world." "Chapter 1... choosing the wrong dream will just fuck you up." "[Laughs]" "You know, did I make the football team?" "No." "Did I go to football camp for two weeks every summer to get better?" "Yes." "Did my dad run drills with me before going to work?" "Yes." "Did my mom make special meals to help me manage my weight?" "Yes." "And did I make the football team?" "No, and it crushed me." "It... it crushed me, and I-i just don't want her to be crushed." "I think it's great that she's found something that makes her feel useful." "Walk a mile, Deb." "Walk a mile in my timberlands and then report back." "[Bell tolling]" "I thought I was marrying a size-12 retail buyer, and then, out of nowhere, at 33 years old, just some hibernating acting dream just sprouts up out of nowhere?" "I mean, I'm glad she got into shape, but, seriously, this delusion that she's gonna be an actress has just taken ahold of her like some insatiable fungus that is devouring the common-sense part of her brain." "But what do they say?" "Thick and thin, right?" "You'll see." "Why does this news make me sad?" "For myself, not you." "When you find a girl you want to spend the rest of your life with, you'll ask her." "Dom." "D-d-dom." "D-d-dom." "No." "Thank you." "Well, what if I already found her and she wanted no part of me?" "Well, you write some songs and you move on." "In theory." "I remember last summer, we talked on the phone for an hour about what you were gonna do when you saw her at your buddy heisner's wedding." "Oh, yeah, that wedding got moved to Montana." "My credit cards are all maxed out." "I never got to go, never got to confront." "Well, give it another nine years." "That's the plan." "Isn't she married?" "Like that matters." "Yeah." "Burn it." "It's salvageable." "What about this date you got wandering around my mother's kitchen on Christmas Eve?" "I mean, that says something to a girl." "Uh, luckily, I'm still in the enigma phase with her." "She hasn't caught on to how useless I am as a man." "Not that I'm gonna clue her in just yet." "The sex is too good." "Yeah, that is when I close my eyes and can't see her looking back at me chock-full of expectation and hope." "[Indistinct conversations]" "It's beautiful." "[Laughs]" "Can I ask you something?" "When did you know that my brother was the right one for you?" "You mean when did I fall in love with him?" "No, that's not always the same thing." "For me, it was." "He let my father's barbershop quartet teach him to sing." "[Laughs]" "No." "Dom has a horrible voice." "Yeah, I know." "He knows." "But it was so important to my dad, it's like the one important thing, and dom recognized that." "So, there he was in the kitchen with my father's barbershop-quartet friends, and they're trying to teach him to sing bass, 'cause it's the one low voice that you could possibly get away with." "Not if you're tone-deaf." "[Both laugh]" "I know." "And I just stood there baffled at my good fortune." "And I thought, "I'm really in"" "love with this guy."" "That's so sweet..." "And specific." "What about you and roddy?" "Oh, I don't know." "I was smoking so much pot back then, I can't remember." "No, we, uh... we met at this weight-loss thing, and he was all goofy and persistent." "And I don't know." "Well, you know, if there's any true tradition on the guy's part, for the girl, the whole proposal thing is kind of like a sneak attack." "They know they're gonna do it, but you don't know they're gonna do it, and then they do it and it's great, but you're..." "You're, like, all over the place." "Yeah." "When I told my mom that roddy and I were engaged, she sighed." "Right before, "honey"," ""congratulations," it was, like, this slight-yet-audible sigh, as if to say, "thank God my fat"" "daughter squeaked in."" "[Laughs]" "Your mother adores you." "Oh, no, I know." "I'm fine." "I don't think about it." "That's a line. [Laughs]" "That's just my mom." "That's how she reacted, bless her heart." "To mom, marriage equals happiness." "Oh." "Mom, what's wrong?" "I forgot to hang dad's stocking." "Santa doesn't come till we're asleep." "[Sighing] Oh." "Nothing like the nurturing smell of Providence back in your nasal passages, huh?" "The wafting stench of the broken dreams of losers, like myself, stuck here, incapable of leaving this shithole." "Still love Rhode island, huh?" "Ugh!" "Why don't you pack up the truck and drive yourself across state lines." "It's a pretty small state." "So I can move to the big apple, where I'll find true love and artistic reward?" "Anything but this." "Because I know a guy who moved away six years ago with" "Hemingway aspirations, who took a dive and became a physical therapist." "There you go." "There's a dig." "You know what, kev?" "Every Christmas for the last seven years, we have the same conversation." "We have some beers, we have some laughs, and then without fail, you start bitching about being stuck here like you're on" "Alcatraz." "Oh, Mr. getting-married-guy has finished all his thinking on all the big thoughts." "He's got his how-to guidebook on how things work?" "And he's got a few tips, huh?" "Yeah." "Watch what you say about my fiancée and watch what you say about my sister." "They were compliments." "You know, you come in here and you dismiss my engagement with some "are you sure?"" "Bullshit." "You make some crude comments about the fuckability of my future wife." "And jerking off to my sister?" "I was joking." "Find another way to joke." "It's not funny anymore." "Walk it off, dom." "Dude, look at yourself..." "Shit-faced and stoned." "It's Christmas!" "Burying your talent, dragging around some poor girl who you're gonna give the boot to with your well-rehearsed, fake sorry." ""You're too good for me."" "Congratulations." "You've gotten back all of womankind for the one that you didn't get." "Do you know what friends do?" "Bitching is what friends do together." "May I remind you that your first and only published short story is entitled "Providence sucks"?" "You're being a fucking asshole." "That's why I came over!" "The pleasure of your company has always been that I could act like an asshole without getting reamed for it." "All good times have to come to an end, right?" "Oh." "Hmm." "Awesome, dude." "Hey!" "Put in that your book." "I'm glad that your life is filled with purpose and meaning." "I'm glad that you're so fucking complete that my meaningless bitches now bore you." "Good luck with your speaking tour." "Merry fucking Christmas." "[Sighs]" "Mary, wake up!" "We're leaving!" "All: * sing in exultation * word of the father * now in flesh appearing * oh, come, let us adore him * oh, come, let us adore him * oh, come, let us adore him" "* Christ the lord" "feel free to spread out all over the grounds while you write." "Just be in hearing range." "When I ring this bell, you should make your way back here for our next talk." "Tell one another your vision of what you want your shared future to be." "Okay." "I know you're gonna make a great dad." "I like thinking about that..." "How you'll create a home where our kids will prosper." "And you'll love them and teach them and provide for them, and it's powerful thinking about that and watching you taking that on and succeeding." "All right, my turn." "I-I'm not finished." "Oh." "I want to be a mom." "You'll be an amazing mom." "Sometimes, I feel like I won't be the kind of great mom that I want to be..." "I disagree." "And like I won't be the kind of mom that can constantly get on top of things and, you know, to be a mom that doesn't lose my mind." "We'll get you some valium." "[Laughs]" "You know, it worked for my mother." "Did it?" "[Laughs]" "Not really." "I don't know." "I just..." "I see my cousin so stressed and snippy with tom... yeah, that's different people." "That's different situations." "Yeah, but do you remember that time when she was loading" "Lucy and Brian into the van at hersheypark?" "Yeah. [Laughs]" "Yeah." "I mean, she was... she was screaming at them and... and they weren't listening and they were all over the place and she had her hair tied up in that awful scrunchy and she was so tired and overwhelmed." "She was wild, like ferocious wild, like..." "like some instinctual altered state that must have been induced by childbearing." "You're... you're not your cousin." "Yeah, but she wasn't always like that." "I'm not tom." "You are Debbie." "I'm... trying to change the subject." "No." "I'm trying to end the comparison." "I mean, they are they, and we are we." "* you are not your cousin please don't sing." "* and I am not tom [bell ringing]" "Never too late to be saved by a bell." "* you, my dear Debbie, will be a great mom * you didn't read yours." "I basically wrote everything" "I just said..." "Up until the singing, of course." "[All scatting]" "Man, you got it." "You got it!" "You still want me to sing with you guys?" "Yes!" "You're incredible." "Gentlemen..." "No more." "We've got a wedding to plan?" "You got your bar in here." "You got your deejay over here on the stage." "Or..." "If you want, uh," "Maggie row's son is in a band called destiny that plays all over Syracuse." "Yeah, I-i don't want" "Steve row playing at wedding." "No, I don't know." "We could go hear him, you know." "No, Steve row gave me a wedgie in the fifth grade." "What?" "He was flirting with you." "Yeah, I'll go give his old man a wedgie right now." "What?" "With your barbershop quartet?" "If needs be." "You know, Harry can rumble." "No, if you did the lighting in here, this place could be awesome." "That's what we thought." "Yeah, I was in charge of my senior prom." "We turned, uh, the gym into a 1920s jazz hall." "I always thought that this place would make a great speakeasy." "The bridesmaids could be flappers!" "Hey, wait a minute." "Johnny marr has a bubble machine!" "We'll bring in sawdust so people don't slip." "Definitely doable." "Their pensions got decimated." "I can't take their money." "I need to generate more income." "Hey, you're gonna get that job on Tuesday, okay?" "I know it." "[Both laugh]" "Part of the reason that our church does this program is our experience with couples who get challenged by the shift between marriage as an idea and marriage as a relationship." "1-in-10 couples who participate in this decide not to move forward with their wedding because of issues that come up over this weekend." "And you know what?" "That's okay, because this weekend is about exploring one thing... what makes this love you have for the person you sit next to a love that will thrive?" "What... what makes this love that... that you bring to the marriage table one that will conquer all?" "Yes!" "Uh, high score." "[Laughter]" "We here at the engagement encounter believe that communication is not just saying what you want and demanding that the other person agree." "When we first had kids, I was totally in love with the idea of being a mom, but I had difficulty letting go of my career." "Mike was gone for long stretches, and I used to think to myself, "well, this isn't"" "what I thought it would be like... waiting around for a five-minute phone call every couple of days or shuttling the kids around while he was off in" "Chicago or Kansas City or" "Boston, meeting interesting" ""people."" "Pharmaceutical reps aren't interesting." "[Laughter]" "Don't let things fester." "This is the time for really taking off the masks and showing who you really are." "Boo." "Can I read this thing I didn't read a second ago?" "Of course." "I don't know why I didn't read it." "I-I..." "I guess I'm embarrassed." "I, um... about what?" "About how un-useful so much of what I'm..." "I'm skilled at has turned out to be." "Deb, you're not your job." "You talk about being a physical therapist, about how you make an impact that's measurable on people, and... and you're right." "I'm a physical therapist." "I have a degree in marketing." "Which has gotten you good jobs and good benefits." "Job benefits aren't life benefits." "Sure they are." "Before I got laid off, I never really had to examine what" "I was doing to define my life." "You know, I-i..." "I don't know." "I moved to New York to work in publishing." "Publishing... a dying industry." "And... and, you know, and I took these jobs tangentially related to that because I thought I was gonna..." "I was gonna pay my dues, and I did." "You're 25 years old." "Exactly." "I'm 25 years old." "I'm..." "I'm four years out of college." "Maybe I should work in the red cross or something like you talk about." "I just don't want to feel like" "I'm stuck somewhere with nothing to offer." "I'm not gonna let that happen." "Okay?" "[Siren walls]" "[Helicopter blades whirring]" "Well, you're really nice, but, uh... but there's nothing." "Okay." "I appreciate your time." "Uh, do you know who might be hiring?" "I mean, I check the online boards, and everything looks so crappy." "I-I thought you were hiring." "[Laughs]" "Interviewing." "We just have a hiring freeze." "When there's an interview freeze, that's when things get really bad... not just bad-bad, but really bad." "But some people say that things are turning around." "Others say that it's going back in the dumper and that this recent rally was just a trap, and we may have to gnaw off our limbs just to survive." "I mean, metaphorical limbs, but real enough to hurt." "I just keep reassuring myself that somebody needs me." "But do you ever feel that what you have to offer just isn't enough?" "Not until recently." "Hmm." "Thank you for your time." "[Siren walls]" "You feel all right?" "Good." "Paging Dr. menter." "Paging Dr. menter, please." "Your strength is really improving." "I hate it." "I hate coming here." "I hate seeing you." "Well, the day after tomorrow, we'll hate some more." "If I don't kill myself first." "[Laughs]" "I'll call to confirm." "Hold her head underwater next time." "I promise I won't tell." "I heard that." "My lungs are better than yours," "Freddy, you cigarette-smoking prick." "[Indistinct conversations, [horns honking]" "Sister Mary Roberts!" "It's me, Christine." "Oh, sister Mary Roberts, you look great." "I'm sorry." "I'm not... how was your mission in" "Guatemala?" "Uh, still a lot of pagans there," "I believe, right?" "The... the numbers have dwindled, but we're... we're making progress." "Oh, people would worship anything, wouldn't they?" "Look at us here." "Look at all the odd stuff." "But still, it is comforting." "Besides, you have to bet on something, especially at my age." "[Chuckles]" "I hope I'm right." "Anyway, sister Roberts, it's so nice to see you back at our parish." "We need more people here with your devotion." "God bless." "Oh!" "Seriously, stop." "Come on." "Give it back." "Jennifer, if he hurts me, I want you to be my therapist." "[Laughs]" "I can hardly take care of myself." ""Wedding budget."" "I thought the bride's parents paid." "Yeah, well, they're retired." "You're nice." "Or stupid." "Now I feel bad that I'm about to borrow cigarette money." "[Laughs]" "Why do you support his habit?" "Because I want him to die young." "Get in line." "Oh, hey, tonight, at the therapy pool, annual naked cannonball competition." "Who's in?" "Besides Jen." "Look, this is an annual thing," "Jen, where you get in the pool where we heal people and turn it into a cannonball frolic." "[Laughs]" "Dom, you take it easy." "You take a load off." "I'll see you later." ""O" team to icu, please." ""O" team to icu." "So, how's the plans going?" "Great." "Just crunching numbers, basically." "You need me to cook?" "I'm no gourmet chef, but you get me a pot that's big enough, I can make pasta to feed 100." "Yeah?" "That's about it." "[Both laugh]" "Pasta, house salad, brownies." "I owe you." "No, you don't." "It was a bad way to be introduced, stumbling across me crying in a stairwell." "Hey, it's a hospital." "We're used to people crying." "Not some silly girl weeping over some dumb dude I fell in love with." "Yeah." "Has he called back yet?" "He says he's still confused." "Screw him." "That was the goal, at least one last time." "[Both laugh]" "Well, it's a half day for me." "I got to go pick out a wedding cake." "Oh, don't get one with a lot of flowers." "That's where it starts to add up... those fancy individual frosting petals." "My sister got real flowers to sprinkle on top." "It looked just as nice." "Cost less." "Good tip." "[Both laugh]" "Uh, more people like chocolate than vanilla." "Keep the tips coming." "Much obliged." "[Indistinct conversations]" "[Siren walls]" "[Door opens]" "Hey!" "Hi." "You're home early." "Took a half day from work to meet you at turnover's." "Remember?" "Oh, my God." "I left you a bunch of messages." "I just figured your phone died." "I'm so sorry." "I-I turned off my phone, and then I guess I forgot I turned off my phone." "It's okay." "I'm sorry, dom." "You've got to try this, okay?" "Oh, my God." "You're not mad at me?" "No." "I'm saving my anger for something..." "Important." "[Both laugh]" "Oh, my God, that's really good." "Isn't that incredible?" "[Laughs]" "How much?" "Well, they're $600 or we can get the same cake." "We just sprinkle some real flower petals on top..." "less money, less sugar." "That's right." "I've seen that." "Haven't you?" "Where do you come up with these amazing ideas?" "[Laughs]" "You taste like cake." "So do you." "[Laughs]" "Ah, leave it." "How do I make you see what I see?" "How do I make you want what I want?" "That door." "That door you're thinking about going through... it's a real door." "It's a real door that will shut all by itself once you go through it." "Can't you see that?" "You can make the wrong move." "You can twist your fate." "You can take a road that you think is right and awaken and find that it's all wrong." "It's all..." "Wrong." "Don't you understand what I'm saying?" "Love me." "Love me." "[Crying] Love me." "[Cheers and applause]" "Easy on the applause." "We're trying to stay in the scene and do strong work, not perform for results or applause." "Melissa, how'd that feel?" "I felt there were moments you were pushing." "I just got a little caught up." "[Laughs]" "If you're gonna do all the feeling for us, we don't have to feel at all, right?" "We can just kick back and detach." "We don't have to participate, right?" "We can just judge whether or not your display of emotion is authentic." "And we're gonna do that regardless." "[Laughter]" "But there's mystery if you give us room to lean in a little, to participate, to wonder." "At the moment when your heart is breaking, I want to see you trying desperately to not cry." "I won't make that mistake again." "[Laughs]" "Class is the place for mistakes." "Mistakes lead us to deeper truths." "You dug deep." "Nice work." "See you all Friday." "[Indistinct conversations]" "[Sniffles]" "Oh." "What a nice surprise!" "I texted you." "I was looking for tuxedos a few blocks from here." "I thought you could come along, help make sure I don't look like a jerk." "I have to turn my phone off in class." "I didn't get the text." "I'm sorry." "Hey, this is my class." "Yeah." "This is my teacher, James." "James, this is dom, my brother." "I was telling him about you." "Oh, hey, man." "Nice to meet you." "Yeah, you too." "You're the reason she got started here, right?" "Yeah, I bought her a birthday present of some acting classes, you know, wherever she wanted to take them." "Well, we're glad she chose here." "Did you catch that last scene?" "Yeah, I caught the end, and I got to tell you..." "I was not detached at all." "I was absorbed and fully into it." "Good." "That's what we're going for." "But nice to meet you." "We shall see you Friday." "Okay." "Incredible." "Thanks." "Your teacher's taken quite a shine to you." "He's proud." "Proud and grabby." "Oh." "When are you going to mom's?" "Friday." "You?" "My showcase is coming up." "James thinks I'm gonna get an agent." "I can't go." "We got to get mom to move here." "Yeah, she can chaperone you in acting class." "It's good." "He's like that with everyone." "It's more ironic than actual." "I don't know what that means." "Well, I can't explain it then." "Yeah." "Just watch out, okay?" "I think I saw him trying to undo your bra strap." "[Both laugh]" "You know, would it kill you to let me be the pretty girl for once?" "Okay." "[Both laugh] * untethered and free * floating out to the sea" "* I need you to look after me * it's now summer long * it's a cold winter's dawn" "* I better, I better keep moving on *" "* I need you to care while I'm gone *" "[engine shuts off]" "[Birds chirping]" "Mom?" "I'm back here, dom!" "What are you doing?" "!" "Well, hello to you, too." "Get down!" "[Sighs]" "Get down!" "Oh?" "King of the world, huh?" "A leaky roof doesn't mean I need to sell the house." "You want real marshmallows or fluff?" "Fluff, please." "[Liquid pouring]" "So, you don't want to live in." "New York City near your kids?" "Uh, you mean, uh, do I want to be cooped up in a tiny apartment, which I can't afford, in a city without friends, while my two adult children are busy with their lives?" "No." "I'm never too busy for you." "Oh, yes, you are, and it's okay." "You've got your own life." "I do miss you and your sister and I wish you lived closer." "I miss being a parent and, you know, having influence in your lives." "I think I would be so much better at it now." "Yeah, I-i know more." "Mom, stop." "That conversation that we had at Christmas?" "I got to thinking about those first few years after your father died, how I handled... you handled it as well as you could have." "I did it badly." "No." "Trying to get you to feel joy about some idea about ultimately being reunited with daddy in heaven." "There's nothing joyful about a boy losing his father." "You did great." "Seriously." "We were all in the same boat, and we did great." "I mean it." "I couldn't have landed a girl like Deb without being raised by a mom like you, could I?" "You sweetie." "Want some fluff?" "No." "Some cocoa?" "* I can't be clear, but all I want to say *" "* I'm a wreck since the day you've gone *" "* I try to fit things together, and it seeps through * * it doesn't seem to matter what" "I do *" "* I'm useless without you, dear *" "* I'm useless without you * my dear [cheers and applause]" "Great show, man." "Thanks." "I should have minded my own business." "You should have punched me square in the mouth." "You should play that last one at our reception." "I'm invited?" "Yeah, if you be my best man." "You got really low standards, you know?" "Yeah, I do." "Hey, don't go wasting your vow on me." "[Laughs]" "To friendship and longevity, to forgiveness and to an elimination of jackassery, except for occasional glimpses that harm no one." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Mary?" "[Laughs]" "What?" "Is that Mary?" "Yes." "Things sort of fell apart after" "Christmas." "So, I get to host the bachelor party." "Oh." "Seriously." "Oh, rest yourself." "Rest yourself, son." "It's gonna be all taken care of." "Don't you think about a thing." "There will be no shenanigans." "There may be drunken... there will be drunkenness, but there will be no shenanigans." "Do you understand?" "There... there's gonna be drunkenness." "I got you." "Your voice sounded great tonight, by the way, man." "Good for you." "16 days... no pot and no tobacco." "Nice!" "Good for you." "That's good." "Yeah." "Well, this is my problem." "I never thought I was designing a wee little life with tiny victories like not smoking pot for consecutive days or finally posting my songs on a website for people to disparage." "Your songs about Betsy kill me." "[Chuckles]" "I'm serious." "You know, that song you wrote about sister Julie's English class says more in three minutes about growing up than I ever could in a novel." "Oh..." "No, no, no." "Maybe... maybe a song you write helps someone..." "Miserable existence." "Make sense out of their life, you know?" "Mm." "You just... you got to... you got to just progress with that in your mind, you know?" "Maybe it's time I came down to New York." "There you go." "Betsy just got divorced." "Congratulations." "[Both laugh]" "Okay." "Wow." "We continue with an exercise called awareness." "It's designed to bring into focus some areas that you might be unaware that you have differences in." "As we read off some statements, we want you to move to the other side of the lawn if you agree with what that statement says." "If you disagree, stay put." "Mike, you want to kick us off?" "Thank you, father." "You ready?" ""I always squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube."" "[Both laugh]" "I guess." "Uh, what if you buy toothpaste that comes in that upright pump thingy?" "Well, be thankful that you have one less thing to argue about." "Okay, you can go back to your starting point." ""I prefer red wine to white wine."" ""I like to vacation alone sometimes."" ""I would be willing to move"" ""to advance my spouse's career."" "Where are you going?" "With you." "Injured people are everywhere." ""I would like to have kids."" "[Laughter]" ""I would like to have more"" ""than two kids."" "Wait." "Three children?" "Whose uterus we using?" "I was hoping yours, but I'm open." "[Laughs]" "Okay. [Laughs]" "Let's do another one." ""Going to church regularly is important to me."" "Okay, try and recall when you and your fiancé are on opposite sides." "Those may be areas to discuss." "I mean, obviously, toothpaste is not as important as how many kids you want." "Okay, that'll be it for today." "I've been going to church." "[Birds squawking]" "Hi, Emma." "[Chuckles]" "Oh, thank you for the invite tonight, but, um, I'm actually meeting up with this guy I went to college with." "My mother thinks I should go." "She said it would be good medicine for me to talk to somebody who knew me way back when." "[Chuckles]" "I don't know." "I should probably just blow it off." "I don't really feel like good company these days, and from what I recall, neither was he." "Oh, yeah, good idea." "[Laughs]" "Oh." "Well, breathing in, breathing out." "[Chuckles] Yeah." "Okay." "Talk to you tomorrow." "Bye." "[Ringing]" "[Beep]" "Dom, it's roddy, man." "I don't even know where the hell" "I am right now." "I was at the javits center doing demos, and my bag with all my shit got ripped off." "My fucking wallet, my keys, my laptop just gone." "Uh, I was doing a demo for that douche-bag sales guy" "Craig derno." "He said he was gonna watch my bag, but he did not, and now I'm stranded." "So, please." "Uh, I've tried to call Melissa, but she's at class till late night, so I'm walking to your place, man." "Deb, I've been with you every" "Sunday for the last year and a half." "During the week." "I've been going during the week." "When?" "Most days." "Most?" "Yeah, lately." "For how long have you been doing this?" "About six... about eight weeks." "So before we decided to get married in the church." "[Hard-rock music playing]" "[Knock on door]" "Yeah!" "Coming!" "Oh, Kevin." "Roddy." "Hey." "Oh, you making lasagna?" "Uh..." "R-roddy?" "So, dom just lent you his keys, even after the Christmas dust-up?" "I'm helping a friend lay down some demos in Brooklyn." "You don't have one of those fake rocks that you hide a key in?" "No." "Uh, I have a brother-in-law who has a spare key somewhere, but at this point, I'll probably just wait till Melissa's acting class lets out and then head back with her." "Yeah, what time is that?" "11:00." "Mm." "On a Friday night?" "Dude, don't poke the bear." "Trust me..." "I am already overchafed about the situation." "Hey, who's that chippy you got coming over?" "Just a friend from college." "I'll lend you 20 bucks for a bus back to Jersey." "I'd have you stay, but I'm just not sure that I got enough for three people." "This friend got a problem with gorging?" "You know, every day that I asked you how your day was, never once did you say, "I spent"" "it in church."" "I don't spend the day." "I-I go to mass." "I-I walked by the church one day and I went in and I found something about the ritual that" "I really missed, something that" "I had when I was a kid and a teenager." "I went to a jesuit college even." "Yeah, but hold on." "This might be all easier to choke down if I'd observed your religious re-awakening in incremental portions, instead of having it, you know, thrust on me here at catholic camp." "I mean, come on, Deb." "I thought we were on the same page." "I'm sorry I sprung it on you." "I..." "Do you want to leave?" "Not without you." "Are you sure?" "Deb, stop saying that, okay?" "I'm here, I'm participating, I'm doing all the exercises, I'm writing it all down, and I'm reading what I wrote, am I not?" "You are." "I want to go to bed on my deluxe 3-inch mattress in my warm and cozy four-star dormitory." "Hey." "Man." "What?" "She was finished." "Look, I'm sorry about your divorce." "Well, you can't convince someone to fix a mistake if they don't think that they've made one." "Debatable." "You know why my marriage works?" "I-I'm becoming more and more intrigued." "Because I am blind to the alternative." "Still here, still here, still here, still here, still here." "I love you." "[Beep]" "You see, it's way too easy to leave somebody nowadays, you know?" "Friends of friends, families, everyone everywhere... everyone is way too understanding of other people's, you know, reasons to leave." "You can't judge other people's... oh, sure you can." "You do." "We all do." "Most people just don't do it out loud while the other person's in the room." "We need a good old dosage of some out-loud, full-frontal condemnation in this world." "It works." "Take my buddy freitsel from umass." "He got married a while ago." "I went, you know, and I listened to the priest give a homily about how the guests at the wedding were witnesses, but, more importantly, they were sentinels." "You know, we are standing guard over that wedded couple." "You know, we got the watch, and we are on watch forever." "So, last summer, freitsel calls." "You know, he says he's having some trouble with bridget..." "That's his wife's name... you know, and... but, you know, friction, you know, kind of hinting that it might be unfixable." "So I'm like, "oh, buddy, you"" "know, hang in there, man." ""It's gonna be all right."" "You know, the usual." "But I told dom, and dom's like," ""get your ass over there."" "And I'm like, "why?"" "And he said, "go be a sentinel."" "And he was right." "Boom!" "I drive over to freitsel's place, I sit him down, and I said, "I cannot let you do this."" "You cannot give up." ""I owe you this."" "Who wants coffee?" "I'll get it." "And he's like... he's like," ""hey, roddy, lay off, man." "I'm only human."" "I'm like, "you're only human?" "!"" "So what?" "You're only required to work it out if you're a klingon?" "Only Mr. Spock's got to dig" ""deep?"" "I says, "guy, your humanity is"" "not in dispute here." ""Your humanity is the problem."" "You really got this judging thing down." "Look, I'm just saying... you know, at first, he was resistant." "He was two steps out the door." "And he stayed." "She stayed." "And now they are thriving." "Thriving." "[Echoing] Thriving." "Hey, uh, are you getting a wi-fi signal down here?" "Nope." "I'm typing some notes out tonight." "Is... is there gonna be a test?" "That is a cool blouse." "Oh, thank you." "I wasn't sure how to dress." "Yeah, I thought it might be dressy, but it's kind of like summer camp." "For Jesus freaks." "I like it." "I mean, some of it's kind of hard, but I feel like it's making us closer." "Well, I feel like I'm a grown-up, and it's all a little too instructive and rah-rah for me." "Oh, could I borrow some of your..." "Yeah." "Mm-hmm." "Dental floss." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "You know, I'm getting a lot out of it, too." "I feel closer to my fiancé." "Hey, uh, dom?" "Philip." "Do you want to play some poker?" "Oh, no, thanks." "We could really take some money from these jokers." "I'm good." "Okay." "[Chuckles]" "Are you catholic?" "No, but my fiancé is, so I'm dealing." "He promised me reciprocity-free oral if I made it through." "Whatever." "Forced conversation is not my bag." "And neither are these Halloween decorations hanging everywhere." "I mean, what kind of sick shit is this?" "I get it... he... he died on the cross for our sins." "Awesome." "I don't need to be haunted by his blood and guts hanging out everywhere." "[Knock on door]" "Tracy, are you in there?" "I'll be there in a second," "Chad." "Geez!" "I'll be in the car." "Are you okay?" "What happened?" "[Sighs]" "My fiancé keeps saying he doesn't know why he signed up for this." "He doesn't know why we can't sleep in the same bed." "We're both adults." "And he is miserable." "[Breathes deeply]" "And so he wants to go, and I'm so very far from okay." "We can leave if we want to?" "[Snoring]" "There's a church on 82nd street that Lindsay told me about." "Wait, wait, wait." "When did church come back into the equation?" "You've suffered through enough of our friends's weddings in churches." "What's one more?" "Especially if it's gonna alleviate some of the stress of planning." "Look, it's not as easy as," ""hey, let us use your church for free."" "There are rules." "I mean, they have this program called pre-cana, where they..." "They basically need to approve you." "It actually sounded kind of nice." "They... they have this retreat called engagement encounter." "[Chuckles]" "We get to go away for the weekend." "An entire weekend?" "[Snoring continues]" "[Sighs]" "[Crickets chirping]" "[Snoring continues]" "Dom." "I went to leave you a note, and, um..." "You found my journal and you asked, "what would Jesus do?"" "Do you want to be with her instead of me?" "What are you doing?" "Because you used the word" ""could."" ""Could" as in you wanted to or" ""could" as in if the circumstances were different?" "Unbelievable." "Do you want the circumstances to be different?" "No." "You can be honest with me." "When have I not been honest with you?" "These things that you wrote..." "I was doing my three pages a day." "I was flushing it out." "I was putting it on the page unfiltered, like the book that you gave me suggested." "I'm just interested where these thoughts about her came along and when you thought it was okay to write them in your journal?" "!" "Look, I'm here with you, okay?" "What good is being here with me when you're writing about some slut you work with." "She's not a slut." "You're defending her?" "No." "I'm being honest." "She made a pass at you." "She tried to." "I wasn't there." "Well, it seems like you were." "Did she or did she not make a pass at you?" "I don't know." "You tell me, Nancy drew." "Just before easter." "Okay, can we step... it's documented, babe!" "Can we just move away from the building?" "No, it is documented, okay?" "Everybody from work had Thursday night drinks." "I pushed her away." "After you lured her to make a move." "What are you talking about?" "You made her a mix." "Yes, I made her a mix of tunes that I listen to at work." "Don't you see how I can interpret that as cultivating intimacy?" "No, I didn't think of your interpretation, because I was like, "here are those tunes."" "And she was like, "thanks."" "So, while I'm at home trying to find my next shitty temp job, you're off... what?" "Road-testing my replacement?" "I'm telling you..." "I'm not." "Then what was with the bath oils?" "Oh, this is insane!" "You bought her bath oils!" "Yeah." "Don't you see how that's kind of fucked up?" "I was her secret Santa." "So buy her a pad of post-it notes, buy her, you know, a new ace bandage, something that..." "That physical therapists buy for one another, not some" "Spanish-fly sex kit for her to rub all over her breasts." "I thought it was a nice gift." "You liked the ones my mom bought for you." "You bought some for Karen." "You talked about it for 15 minutes over dinner with Bob and" "Stacy." "You said you loved it." "So?" "Yeah, I loved it because I was amazed at how something so simple could make me feel so relaxed and cared for and girly." "And then we had an amazing night of lovemaking after you drew a bath for me to try the bath oils in." "And then you go and buy her the same fucking bath oils?" "!" "She... she just started working there, okay?" "I found her in the stairwell crying because her boyfriend had just dumped her." "I was getting ready to ask you to marry me." "I was feeling so lucky." "But for her, it was shaping up to be a pretty shitty holiday season." "So when I picked her name out of a hat the next day, I decided it would be nice for me to buy her something nice." "So I went to Duane reade and dropped $12 and spread some holiday cheer." "So you gave her a shoulder to cry on, some advice on love, a mix tape to listen to while she rubs her bath oils all over her naked body, and she adds up these gestures as an invitation" "to fall for you, which she does, and then she lets this be known, all gooey-eyed and... and gushy with her lips parted, which sends you swooning and swirling and... she was crying in the" "stairwell." "Oh, my God!" "And I bet she was all "sniffle"," ""sniffle," and you were all," ""there, there."" "Okay, I am not the person you're making me out to be." "You're putting things together, and they don't go together that way." "But things you wrote!" "Yes, the things I wrote!" "Whatever was in my journal had a right to be there, and you had none." "Uh..." "Take $20." "No, man." "I don't want to take your strip-club stash." "[Both laugh]" "All right, seriously, we're just gonna go for a walk." "You okay?" "I'm fine." "I'm gonna go down to where her acting classes are." "She usually gets..." "[Yawning] Coffee around the corner." "Um..." "Her friends... oh, God, her friends." "[Chuckles]" "They're so self-centered." "They never ask me a question about how I am doing, but alas, yet again, I am in a situation where I have to suck it up and deal, so..." "Thank you for dinner." "Yeah." "And thank you for conversation." "Sometimes misfortune leads to a nice night, right?" "That's a beautiful phrase." "Thank you so much." "[Laughs]" "You are beautiful people." "Oh." "You're adorable." "You're the most adorable of the two." "Okay, bye." "[Crickets chirping]" "You still wear that necklace what's-his-fuck gave you, right?" "What has that got to... because we're discussing cultivating thoughts of intimacy." "My wearing this necklace is not cultivating thoughts of intimacy with Gary Thompson." "Talk to Gary Thompson?" "I saw him a couple months ago." "Oh, really?" "Where?" "Church?" "I saw him outside a diner." "So, why didn't you mention that to me?" ""Oh, hey, I had lunch with" "Gary Thompson."" "We didn't have lunch." "Oh, have lunch, split a burger, throw back some brews, have a soulful visit." "I had a coffee." "He's still friends with a bunch of my friends from Georgetown." "He is a dirtbag who stole money from you, and yet, you still feel the need to cozy up and reminisce." "Hey, congratulations, by the way." "For not getting drunk at dinner?" "[Laughs]" "You're here doing a recording." "Oh, for a friend for free." "What?" "Like I'm painting?" "For years of art classes, preparing me for anything but a desk job, and what am I doing?" "You're in human resource." "You are a resource for humans to reference their humanity." "Yeah, well, I thought it was just a phase, and now, seven years later, somehow a phase has become my life." "You've been through a lot." "Other people have been through worse." "It matches the bracelet you bought for me." "Before I knew fuck-face bought it for you five years ago." "It's just a necklace." "And it's just a journal, thoughts." "Thoughts come and go." "I mean, do you pray out loud at the kitchen table for me to listen in?" "No?" "Why?" "Why all the secrets, huh?" "This is different." "This is different." "If you think this matters to me..." "I mean, you told me once it made me look pretty, all right?" "I could give a shit." "It's fake!" "Well, don't Chuck the bracelet, 'cause that's real." "How real are your feelings for her?" "Words on a page." "Words buried by other words, words you may not have had a chance to get to tonight, words about us, about our wedding, about how much of a good thing I have with you." "Did you read that?" "That's in there, too." "Did you read what I wrote yesterday before we came to this godforsaken place?" "Didn't you read all the things I wrote about you?" "How we doing over here?" "Oh, fucking phenomenal, father." "Thank you." "Nine years." "Back of a burger king." "I welled up." "You walked off." "Back of a burger king." "How sad is that?" "It was a long time ago." "It was a nightmare." "Torch-carrying fool." "I had a boyfriend." "You always had a boyfriend." "[Laughs]" "We were best friends, and I blew that by wanting something more." "This is my one-step recovery program, apologizing to you face-to-face for putting you in that situation..." "And then abandoning our friendship when I didn't get what I wanted in return." "And..." "I was an ass." "It has impacted me more than you could possibly know." "And..." "Still." "I'm sorry." "There." "I said it." "God." "Of course, it took me nine years." "I was married for half of those nine years." "I wasn't always up for chatting, especially about the past." "Hey, should we get more alcohol?" "Actually, I'm trying to cut back." "Ugh." "I tried to keep a straight face." "[Laughs]" "But I really like alcohol." "[Laughs]" "Can we start with a prayer?" "No, I'm not in the mood for praying." "And, honestly, father..." "You..." "I mean, not you personally, but the collective you... have been fucking up my shit for a long fucking time." "I'm really sorry." "No, I'm..." "I'm..." "look, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry for swearing." "I-I-i don't mean any disrespect." "Thank you for taking some time." "How have we been fucking up your shit?" "Making me go to confession when I was 8." "Let's start there." "What sin does an 8-year-old need to confess?" "You'd be surprised." "When I was an altar boy, I dropped a communion wafer and got cuffed so hard by the priest that my ear rang for two days." "Dom, he's trying to help." "No, just... just... just so we're clear." "You can't drop them, but you can put them in your mouth and chew them." "I can understand how bewildering that could be... no, no, no." "Bewildering is our parish priest telling me, when I was 12, that my father's death was my cross to bear for the rest of my life." "Jesus only had to carry the cross for a couple hours, and he knew he was gonna be in heaven that afternoon." "I'd like that prize package." "Faith is a struggle." "Thi is a struggle." "This is a struggle." "I-I-i came here because I thought it was the right thing to do, but now it is clear that it was absolutely the wrong thing to do, because we were getting along great before the church came into it." "And you people, with your, uh..." "Identifying of obstacles." "You fucking create obstacles." "I left a note in his journal." "It was supposed to be a surprise." "Oh, yeah, it was a real surprise, all right." "[Sighs]" "You know, father, I had faith when I was a kid 'cause I ate what was put on my plate." "And then, well, you know, loved one gets struck down by a" "Chevy impala, and you don't even get a drunk driver to blame." "Just some icy roads, bad luck, and a dead dad." "And it makes no sense." "But you people tried to make me think that it made sense, that" "God needed him in paradise, that he planned it that way." "You told me to find purpose in the pain." "Losing a parent can be painful." "And I didn't tell you this to give you some sort of "aha"" "moment, some revelation to unlock the mystery of me." "My dad died." "I bummed out." "I got over it." "Losing your faith is not uncommon..." "I didn't lose my faith." "It didn't deliver what it said it would." "And upon further reflection, I decided to treat it the same way it treated me... with contempt." "You tell me to pray to God when things are good, pray to God when things are bad, and be happy with whatever answer he gives you." "Here's what I've learned so far." "Everything is arbitrary." "Most things aren't easy." "Fucked-up shit happens to a lot of people, so just pray it doesn't happen to you." "But what does all this have to do with you and Debbie?" "She has faith in catholicism again, faith in an ever-changing religion that has cut and pasted as it sees fit, but she can't place her faith in me." "And all I've done to prove to you that I am dedicated, to show you that my actions speak louder than words." "Why can't she... why can't she have faith in me?" "I just don't know when I became the type of person who gets in these situations." "You felt something real and you followed it." "I know that sounds like acting-school garbage, but it just happens to be true." "What this is, what we have..." "I've never had it before." "Everything you say makes him sound like a jerk." "I haven't told you the ways in which he's been nice." "When has he ever been nice?" "He loved me when I was ugly." "How many TV shows do you think you need to see to know that you shouldn't cheat on your wife at home, because she just might walk in?" "Two." "[Laughs]" "So, I did walk in, and they're going at it." "And at first, I couldn't even assemble the pictures." "Then I screamed, made a scene, took all of her things, and threw them in the hallway." "I smashed his laptop on the floor, and I knew he didn't back that shit up, like, ever." "And then I was like, "what the"" "fuck?"" "That was my moment of eloquence." "My entire marriage had been upended, and all I could come up with was, "what the fuck?"" "What'd he say?" "He shrugged." "How do you go from a vow to a shrug?" "I can hardly profess to know you both." "The fact that you're here, talking this out, even shouting this out, rather than running..." "Well, that, to me, is a manifestation of God's presence." "Rely on it." "There's a lot of muscularity to your words... from both of you." "And not going forward can seem like the only option, and, you know, sometimes it is." "Be gentle with one another, look for the good and noble in one another, look for the reason why you want to get married." "Write it out, shout it out, share it." "It's okay to try hard." "It's okay to feel like you're trying hard." "You know, in the mass, we talk about how Jesus wanted to carry some of our struggle and our hurt." "Invite him to do so." "I hope I see you tomorrow." "[Door opens, closes]" "Debbie." "[Paper thuds]" "I'm sorry." "I'm dragging down the whole night." "Oh, but you're doing it so well." "[Laughs]" "My mom says that I have to stop it with the angst." "She considers anything that she doesn't want to have to listen to as angst." "Your husband betrayed you." "[Chuckles]" "If processing a heartbreak's now considered angst, then there's no hope for any of us." "[Laughs]" "But, uh..." "I mean, at some point, it's just my stupid shit that I need to deal with." "Love ain't stupid shit." "Wanting something with another person that is lasting and true is an elemental yearning." "I think a friend of mine told me that, recently, even." "But it's true, right?" "It's not stupid shit." "I just want to meet a good guy." "Like, it doesn't matter if he's from a good family." "I'll start my own good family, but I can't start without the guy." "[Chuckles]" "And I'm not saying that I only identify myself in juxtaposition to a guy." "I just..." "I like guys." "[Laughs]" "I-I'm a fan of the whole guy-girl thing." "[Both laugh]" "I'm not, like, trolling for a rhodes scholar... just a guy, just a grown-man guy, a guy that" "I don't have to support and pay his student loans while he flakes out and has sex with other people, a consistent guy who does his guy thing and doesn't Jekyll and Hyde on me after three years." "Just a guy who's nice and..." "Occasionally attentive." "Hi." "[Chuckles]" "I am so in love with you." "I am so fucking in love with you that I cannot contain myself." "And I know that you are wounded and hurting and fucked up still over this guy, but I have spent the whole entire night staring at you, and the only reason that" "I came down here was to get lost in your face and try to do what" "I just did." "So if you think that I'm an ass for doing that, I will totally understand." "* blow out the candles on your cake, little darling * * mother is here now don't you shake, little darling * * ain't no bad girl gonna take my little darling from where he belongs *" "* ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh." "Debbie..." "Baby, I love you." "Despite above and beyond all this, I love you." "Let's go home." "Let's just get out of here." "I'm just gonna read." "All right." ""I started going to church"" "because I had doubts about marrying you, doubts about myself in a marriage, bringing into it what's needed, doubts about this being the right thing, if we're right together." "And I read your journal because" "I wanted to know if you had the same doubts, because maybe if you did, I-I'd know that we'd be okay because we'd need each other to build on what we love about one another and... and" "cast any doubts away." "I'm all upside down and I couldn't decipher whether that was... that was real fear or just jitters, and... and I" ""didn't know how to say that."" "You wanted... you wanted confirmation on your doubt?" "To see if it was shared?" "That's why you read it?" "Just to see if you were scared or uncertain at all." "You started praying because, some months ago, you realized that you might not love me?" "I prayed because I needed help." "Well... well, Jesus is not your fairy godmother." "If you don't love me, you can't pray yourself into it." "I wasn't trying to do that." "I know that I'm not the only one that you might think is awesome, and maybe she was more awesome... oh, she's not more awesome than you." "[Laughs]" "This stupid book." "This stupid fucking book is not me." "What have I not done?" "Tell me." "What am I not showing you?" "I have a good job." "I have a good place for us." "I have good plans." "I have a good heart." "Just tell me." "You doubt us." "You doubt us and you took this journal and you used to hang the responsibility on my shoulders." "You wanted to know if I have doubts, so you go looking for doubt and you... you find some ramblings and you call those ramblings truth and you dismiss the truth that I pledged to you." "And then you have this... this weepy revelation." "Wow, you put me through my paces." "You know what?" "Take the car." "[Keys jingle]" "I'll find my own way home." "[Crying]" "[Door slams]" "Dom." "Uh, I'm sorry about last night." "Oh, it's cool." "I wish I could say it was the alcohol, but it isn't." "It's... no, I-it's fine." "Really." "Okay." "[Both laugh]" "Let's get this shit over with." "[Crickets chirping]" "[Knock on door]" "[Knocking continues]" "Hey, dom." "Thank God." "I wasn't expecting you." "Uh..." "What is he doing here?" "His stuff got stolen." "But I need to crash." "Where's Deb?" "Dom, hi." "It's been a while." "Hey, congratulations." "It's really exciting." "Oh." "Hi." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Did I wake you?" "No." "Kevin, what are you doing in." "New York City?" "Hey, Melissa." "Um, doing some demos with a friend, the music thing." "Oh." "Hi." "Hi." "Uh, I'd like to be alone." "Roddy's been calling you the whole night." "Oh, I know." "I... we have to keep our phones off in class." "We can't even put it on vibrator, so I forgot to put it back on." "And then I went to a friend's house and fell asleep." "You know, just a really rough week." "Rehearsing." "I'm exhausted." "But I woke up." "Here I am." "Don't do this, Mel." "I would have called to tell you I was coming, but my phone died." "Uh, we're gonna head to." "Betsy's." "Uh, it was nice meeting you." "Well, at least you're getting something from your acting guru, 'cause it's definitely not the ability to act." "Don't turn on me for this." "I need you to not be this kind of person, Melissa." "Not you." "Don't be this person right now." "I just want what everyone else has." "I want something real." "I want what you have with Deb." "Hey, dom, uh, thanks, man." "We'll give..." "I'll give you a call in the morning." "[Door closes]" "Oh!" "Get up, roddy." "Why would you do that?" "I fell asleep at Rachel's house." "Let's go." "All right, hold on." "Hey, dom, aren't you supposed to be at that retreat?" "Yeah, I left." "Oh." "I hear you." "[Chuckles]" "I finally got to blaze a trail for you." "[Chuckles]" "Yeah, come on." "It's late." "Let's go home." "Where were you?" "In class." "Till 2:30?" "Well, I had a cup of coffee with Rachel and I fell asleep." "You're lucky I woke up." "Melissa, my shit got ripped off." "I needed my wife to bail me out." "I'm here." "Yeah, seven hours later." "Can you guys just go?" "Just go." "Where the hell were you?" "[Indistinct shouting]" "[Door closes]" "I'm sick of this acting thing." "Every Friday night." "It ruins the weekends." "* lover of things * won't you agree how the winter could bring the darkest spring?" "* * with hell on your face * dirt on the walls in the back of the place * * you grew and complained" "* father of three * won't you believe that the ones in between, ones that are blamed * * of fickle faith * cynics that seethe that their children are cursed, cursed to believe?" "* * it's like marrow * without bone * to live in a house with no home * * the son is the darkest seed" "what I meant when I wrote" ""could," what "I could love her means."" "I could be filled with feeling and longing for someone else." "And I was, and it scared me." "I thought that life had led me to you and that once I stepped up, the rest would be easy, because loving you is not difficult." "You're great." "[Laughs]" "I used to think there was so much that separated me from being the same old story." "You are not the same old story." "I should have stayed." "How'd you get home?" "I-I got a ride to the bus with this couple." "The girl couldn't sleep because all the crucifixes were creeping her out." "I read what you wrote about us." "It's all true." "I'm sorry." "Me too." "I don't want to give up." "How are we gonna be okay?" "I think we need to..." "Just..." "I don't know." "All: * I'll be loving you always, always * * that's when I'll be there always, always * now you, now you." "All: * not for just an hour * not for just a day * not for just a year * but always * always * * if I find love, I won't let it go * * see, the trouble is I've been" "on both sides * * been a jealous husband and with others's wives *" "* I get no pleasure in pain or gain or pride * * if I find love, I'm gonna make it mine * * if I find love, I'm gonna make it mine *" "* waking up early 'cause I can't sleep * * getting wild on a bottle 'cause I don't need *" "* I have a habit of getting in a little too deep * * if I find love, will be the end of me * * if I find love, will be the end of me * * if I find love, will be the" "end of me * * if I find love * if I find love * if I find love"