"Hey, Bennett." "Hey, Phillips." "I thought your dad hated Christmas lights." "Oh, yeah, he does." "That's half the fun of hanging 'em up." "I'm like the Cratchit to his Scrooge." "I am impressed." "You've been reading more Dickens?" "What?" "Dickens wrote The Muppet Christmas Carol?" "Yes." "What are you doing here?" "I know you have a lot going on with your dad and Rooster gone and... missed you." "I miss you, too." "Mmm." "Plus, I need you to put the snow chains on my tires 'cause there's a storm coming in." "So, chop-chop." "Give you an extra 20 bucks if you show me your plumber's crack." "What do you got in that brown paper bag?" "A little early Christmas present?" "I wouldn't give you your Christmas present in a brown paper bag." "Right, that's..." "Me neither." "You know you don't have to get me anything?" "I know." "You also know that's something people just say, right?" "You obviously have to get me something." "I know." "I already got you something." " Yeah?" " And it's awesome." "But, you know, let's say I didn't, what do you think would be awesome?" "Or easy to buy?" "All right." "I got coffee and donuts for you, and mimosas for me... 'cause it is winter break and Ms. Phillips don't give a fuck!" "Yeah, you're a real wild one." "Coming down the driveway at five mile an hour with your hazards on." "Like I said, winter break." "Whoo-hoo!" "Yeah, well, ranchers don't get a winter break." "So you don't want a mimosa?" "Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa." "I didn't say that." "Just put it in my thermos so my dad don't see it." "Your dad sees you drink all the time." "Yeah, beer and whiskey." "Not mimosas." "How're you two getting along?" "Pretty good." "Although Rooster came by last night... offered me a job in front of my dad." "Oh, shit." "Rooster gonna have an open or closed casket?" "Yeah." "What are you gonna do?" "After coming back, it's hard to imagine leaving." " This is home." " Yeah." "I always pictured my kids... growing up here like I did." "You know, limited adult supervision." "Plenty of access to whiskey and firearms." "It's the American dream." "Fuck Canada!" "What do you think I should do?" "It's not about what I think." "Sure it is." "It's our future." "Aw, that's sweet." "There's like three mimosas in here." "You don't have to work that hard to get me into bed." "It would be kinda cool... living here with you... raising a family." "It'd be great." "You can teach 'em the importance of school." "I'll teach 'em how to ditch it." "Well, whatever you decide..." "I'm gonna be right there with you." "Unless I die when my truck slides into a ditch 'cause I got no chains." "All right, I'm on it." " You gonna help?" " Didn't you hear what I said?" "Ms. Phillips is on a break, she don't give a fuck." "Now, show me that ass." "Whoo!" "Yes!" "Holy shit." "What the fuck's on your feet?" "I tripped and stepped right in 'em." "Well, don't stretch 'em out." "They cost 170 bucks." "A hundred and seventy dollars?" "That's a fucking... great price." "Hey, uh, Dad, I need to talk to you." "Colt, I'm having a moment." "Don't ruin it." "I'm not gonna take that job with Rooster." "I can't leave you." "You're my dad." "And even though we got our problems..." "I love you." "I love this place, and me and Abby is gonna raise our kids here." "Now, I know it hasn't always meant that much to me, but... now that I'm back, I think I realize how important it is." "I just want it to stay in our family for generations to come." "We're selling the ranch." "Because of what I just said?" "Your mother wants me to leave it to you and Rooster." "I'm only willing to leave it to you." "Hold on, you're wearing my Uggs and now you wanna leave me the ranch?" "What the hell's going on here?" "If I don't give in to her demands, we have to sell." "Come on, this is insane." "Just give her what she wants." "I don't negotiate with terrorists." "So you're willing to give all this up just to prove a point?" "Colt..." "I appreciate you wanting to stay... but it's in your mother's hands now." "You're just gonna walk away?" "We're done talking." "No, you're still wearing my Uggs!" "Okay, watch this video." "Watch what this guy uses to hit this ping pong ball." "Oh, shit, he uses his dick!" "That's awesome." "I could do that." "Gallo, Gallo..." "you're like a brother to me." "But physically, you're like a little brother." "You don't think so?" "All right, grab that tangerine." "Throw it at my junk." "Hey, Rooster." "Your pants are down." "How's babysitting going?" "Uh, it's not what it looks like." "Unless it looks like I am throwing a tangerine at his penis." "Generally, we just read to the baby, but, okay." "So, what's going on here?" "You drank six beers and cleaned up zero?" "What?" "No, um... we've been making a mobile for the baby." "You know, I should put Kiera down." "Yes." "Ah, let me help you." "Darlene, do you enjoy making babies?" "All right, we need to talk." "Yeah, sorry about that." "We were gonna clean up, but I didn't think you'd be back so soon." "Yeah, it's not just that." "Or the fact you were about to dick slap our produce." "No, it's, um..." "Listen." "I am barely keeping it together as it is, okay?" "I work 50 hours a week at the Cracker Barrel." "I got both my daughters living with me." "And baby Kiera, and my grandson Luke during the week." "I already have a full house." "I do not think I can take a fuller house." "Oh, shit." "But if we have any shot at a future together, you have got to get the fuck out of my house before I kill you." "All right." "I respect that." "I can, uh, you know..." "I'll just crash at Berto's or something." "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "Phew!" "All right, well..." "Let me help clean up, I'll grab Berto and get out of here." "Okay, before you go... let's see if you can do this thing." "All right." "I just don't think you should compare yourself to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." "No, I'm just saying me and JC got some similarities, you know?" "We both got kick-ass beards." "Christmas is coming, I got no place to stay." "And one time, I was using my nail gun and I accidentally attached myself to a two-by-four." "Mmm." "That time we had to pump your stomach, you literally came back from the dead." "See?" "Well..." "I have a miracle of my own." "I'm going to turn some beer into water." "What you doin' for Christmas, Hank?" "I'll worry about that when December rolls around." "Uh..." "Hank." "Oh, shit." "What the hell did I do for Thanksgiving?" "Ma, I need to talk." "What's up?" "Merry Christmas, Hank." "Don't rub it in." "What's up, Colt?" "Dad told me you're making him sell the ranch 'cause he won't give half to Rooster." "Wait, what?" "I'm doing it for you guys." "At least you'll get some money from the proceeds." "I don't want free money." "I wanna work there." "Whoa." "Where the hell did that come from?" "Hang on a sec." "You and Dad are gonna sell the ranch, because he won't put my name on it?" "Who cares?" "And you don't wanna work with me?" "You're a fucking idiot." "I'm trying to protect you." "No, I get that, Mom, but I don't need protection." "I got the new job with a future." "I'm all set." "Plus, once Dad's gone, Colt's just gonna give me my half anyway." "I mean... we'll definitely talk about it." "Look, you sell the ranch, you're just gonna hurt him, you might end up killing Dad." "No way." "I do not wanna deal with that on my conscience." "I just don't see why your father should decide who gets what." "Isn't that exactly what you're doing?" "I mean, this is our ranch." "It's your ranch." "It's the family ranch." "The Grand Junction Sentinel article entitled "What Happened to Colt Bennett?"" "starts with, "Colt Bennett was forced to retreat to his family ranch."" "You memorized an article about how bad you are?" "I memorized an article about how good I once was." "The point is, it's our ranch." "Are you really gonna be okay with this?" "Of course." "It's gotta stay in the family." "I felt that way all along, but then your dad just made me so crazy," "I might have lost sight of the big picture." "Yeah, well, the big picture is me and Abby and our kids, sitting on the porch, watching Rooster work on my ranch." "The point was to make you both happy, so if this is what you want, then..." "No, this is what's best for everyone." "Look at that." "Me making sacrifices for the greater good." "I am like Jesus." "I really gotta start locking this door." "Hi, Beau." "I'm not sure I can do this right now, Maggie." "No, you can leave the ranch to Colt." "It's all right." "I'll just take the hunting cabin." "I had Jerry draw up a new draft of the papers." "Evidently, the old one... had too many curse words scrawled in the margins." "You're okay with that?" "Rooster is, and that's what's important." "He cared enough about this ranch that he sacrificed his piece to keep it in the family." "All right." "I guess there's nothing left to do but to sign it." "Yeah, that's all we gotta do." "I'll go first." "I guess that's it." "Yep." "The government finally has my name on something." "Feels strange, doesn't it?" "Yeah." "It's 40 years of marriage gone in... a couple of signatures." "What do we do now?" "I don't know." "We start our new lives, I guess." "Maybe we should sign up for Tinder." "What the fuck is Tinder?" "Well, it's a dating app that you put on your phone and then you swipe right on a photo if you like the person." "I think I'll just die alone." "You know, we're still having the Christmas party down at the bar tomorrow night." "You should come by." " I don't think so, Mags." " Why not?" "Just because our marriage is over, doesn't mean we're not gonna be in each other's lives." "I just don't think I'd be able to... spread any good cheer." "So, it'd be like every other year." "So, how do we..." "I don't know." "Hey..." "I'm glad we didn't get rid of this place." "Me, too, Mags." "Bye, Beau." "All right." "Here you go, Colt." "Two mimosas." "They're for Abby." "It's winter break." "They taste like springtime." "Hey, is, uh, Dad comin'?" "'Cause if he is, I'm gonna need a few more of these." "Oh, you know your father." "He's just a total grinch." "Wait... he hates Christmas, lives alone with a dog, has heart problems." "He really is the Grinch!" "Hey, Maggie, merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas, Dale." "Glad to have ya." "How you doing, Dale?" "Rooster, I hear you're going to work for Neumann's Hill." "Yep." "I've always said," ""The best rancher within three counties is Rooster Bennett."" "You trying to butter me up so I hire you as my vet?" "Well, I won't overcharge you like I do your dad." "Hmm." "I thought we were doing presents at my house later tonight." "We are, but that one..." "This is for you and your parents." "Oh, yeah." "The brown paper bag was too fancy?" "You had to go with an envelope the water bill came in?" "It's your other Christmas present." "Saving the Earth." "Oh, my God!" " Denver Broncos playoff tickets?" "What?" " Yeah." "I figured we could go with your parents." "It would be your dad, your mom, you, and then me." "That... that way we can be with them, but I don't have to talk to 'em." "I'll just be like, "Hey, great seats, right?" "You want a beer?" "Defense!"" "This is so sweet." "Thank you." "You see Kenny over there?" "Yeah." "Oh, great." "Now he saw me looking at him." "Now I'm waving like a jackass." "Did he just give me the "go-to-hell" nod?" "Fuck him." "I'm gonna keep waving." "No, stop that!" "Stop!" "Hey, Colt." "Check it out." "Merry Christmas, bitch." "And this year, I also made mugs." "Get it?" " Mug shot mug." " Uh-huh." " You know what would be hilarious?" " Hmm?" "Mug shot shot glasses." "Oh, Abby, you're a genius." "You get a t-shirt." "Yes!" "How many of them do you have?" " Hey, Colt." " Ah!" "Holy shit." "Is that Tanya Showers?" "She knows Kenny?" "What the fuck?" "Uh, Abby, no offense, but I'm, like, super jealous of your ex-boyfriend right now." "So am I." "So am I." "All right." "I'm gonna go over there and talk to them." "Kenny better have fucking cancer or something." "Hey, Kenny dog, what's up, man?" " Hey." " How you doing?" "Who's your friend?" " Uh, Tanya, this is Rooster." " Hi." " Hi." " Rooster, this is..." "Yeah, I know who you are." "You're my favorite weather girl ever." "We met once at a Chili's, it didn't go very well." "Why'd I bring that up?" "So, uh, how'd you guys meet?" "Tanya came to the hotel to do an investigative report on some fungi in our ice machines." "I said I was a "fun guy," and we were off." "Yeah." "Fuck a duck, huh?" "So, uh, Tanya... how about the weather we're having right now, huh?" "I really don't wanna talk about work." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." " Come on, babe." "Let's head to a low pressure zone." "You are so funny." "What is happening right now?" " Hey, babe." " 'Sup, girl?" "Mmm, hey." "What is that?" "Lincoln County?" "That's where I got my mug shot." "Oh, what were you two doing back there?" " Uh, we were having sex." " I had to make a phone call." "Oh, I did not realize we were lying." "Uh, but to be fair to her, uh, she was on the phone for part of it." "This is awkward." "I'm gonna go grab a drink." "I'll get you one, too, Roberto." "Thank you." "It's, uh, Umberto." "With an "Um"," "As in, "Um, you just forgot the name of the person you had sex with."" "All right, Umberto, we need to talk." "Yeah, so, you know, what are your intentions with our daughter?" "Look, Darlene is my oldest daughter and the mother of my two grandkids, okay?" "I cannot see her get hurt again." "Oh, no, no, I..." "I find her charming, funny, beautiful and... if things go well, well, maybe..." "Well, maybe I'm the reason she moves out of your house." "You have my blessing." "Wow, that's great service." "How'd you know I was here?" "Are you kidding?" "I can hear that piece of crap Chevy of yours coming from two counties away." "That's funny." "I never hear your Ford." "I guess that's 'cause it never runs." "That's funny." "Come on in, Joanne." "Oh, look at you!" "Getting in the holiday spirit." "Eh, Colt did that." "I hate it." "Well, you're gonna hate this." "I got you a little something." "Oh." "That's cute." "I got you a little something." "Oh, that's beautiful." "Did you wrap this yourself?" "I did." "How's it look?" "Well, everything above the bill of the hat looks just fine." "Yeah." "So how... how's everything?" "Did you settle things with Maggie?" "Yep." "It's all over now." "Beau, I'm only gonna ask you this once." "Did you kill her?" "Because when the snow melts, they're gonna find her body." "We signed the divorce papers." "Well, I..." "I'm sorry." "But sometimes change can be a good thing." "Yeah." "I'm not a big fan of change." "You gonna stay for dinner?" "I'm gonna burn this hat on the grill." "Might as well toss a couple of steaks on, too." "Well, I..." "I appreciate it, but I am on my way to see my daughter." "I thought she wasn't speaking to you anymore." "She wasn't." "But that didn't keep me from trying." "So I reached out to her," "I reached out to her, and this time she didn't slap my hand away." "What changed her mind?" "Well, I like to think that the holiday season finally got her in the spirit of forgiveness." "Or she needs bail money." "Doesn't matter." "Anyway, I'm finally gonna meet my granddaughter." "That's great." "I'm happy for you." "Say, you wanna borrow my truck so you can make a good impression?" "No, I actually wanna get there." "Speaking of that, I..." "I should get on the road before it starts snowing." "Okay." "Tell me you're not just spending Christmas Eve all alone." "Well, everybody's down at the bar having a party." "Well, you should go on down there." "I don't think Rooster wants to see me." "Oh, Beau, if you never went where people didn't want you, you'd never talk to anybody." "I'll talk to you soon, Beau." "Take care on the road." "Hey, you forgot your hat." "Oh, no, I didn't." "Merry Christmas." "Well..." "Merry Christmas, everybody." "Merry Christmas." " I should get going." " Hey." "Careful getting home." "Thank you." "I'm not going home." "I'm gonna go meet Darlene at her house for round two." "You know... of sex." "Yeah, we got it." "Hey, pro tip." "Don't wake up them babies." " Oh." " Oh, no, she has the perfect idea." "We're gonna wear sleigh bells so the kids think it's Santa on the roof top." "All right..." " these are for you." " Aw!" "All right!" "Wait, $3,724?" "$8,442?" "What is this?" "Your bar tabs for the year." " Whoa!" " Damn!" "Yeah." "All right, merry Christmas!" "Whoa!" " Best Christmas gift ever!" " That's right." "Yeah." "Plus, mine was, like, five grand more than yours, so there." "Yeah, but you were here for eight months more than me," " so technically, I outdrank you." " No, guys, this was meant as an intervention, not a competition, all right?" " Merry Christmas." " Wait, Mom." " We got something for you." " Oh, yeah." " Get... get it." " Okay, hang on." "Come on, get it." " Merry Christmas." " Oh!" "What..." "Wow, tap handles." "Ha-ha!" "Come on!" "One's a colt, one's a rooster." " I know." " Get it?" "Hey, put 'em on." "Try... try it out." "Yeah, get us a beer!" "Yeah." "Hey, hey, put it on my tab." "Put it on my tab." "We got you something else." "All right, get... get her the..." " There we go." " And..." "Oh, look." "It's the three of us out front the day I got the place." " Thank you." " Yeah." "Now, even though you and Dad got divorced, we're still gonna see you all the time." " That's right." " Of course you are." "I run the only bar in town." "Hey." "Beau." "Wow." "Oh, shit." "I feel like I missed the party." "Yeah." "You also missed Tanya Showers." "What?" "Why didn't you send me a fucking text?" "We didn't think you were coming by." "What's the worst thing that could happen?" "We'd get a divorce?" "What?" "Holy shit." "We're already joking about this?" "That's great!" "Here." "All right, usually people say, "Merry Christmas," but, cool." "Hold on, hold on." "If we're doing gifts..." "Dad, I got yours in the truck." "Rooster, I got yours... right here." "Where the hell did I put it?" "Oh, there it is." "Oh, check it out." "Hang on, I grabbed a receipt for that in case I wanna return it." "Is this Grandpa's knife?" "Yeah." "I want you to have it." "You're gonna have your ups and downs on that My Little Pony Ranch... but you can always look at that and... know you come from a long line of great ranchers." "And you're one of 'em." "Okay." "Now, give me a penny." "What?" "It's bad luck to give a knife away for free." "When my dad got that from his father, he had to give him a penny." "I had to give one to my dad." "Now, give me a damn penny." "I've got..." "I mean, I've got a twenty." "That'll work." "Great, Dad." "Thanks for... selling me my Christmas gift." "All right." "There it is." "Here." "What in the hell am I gonna do with these?" "Sweetheart, what were you thinking?" "Worst gift ever." "All right, I'm gonna go to Abby's." " All right, all right." "Careful." " I'll see you, Mom." "Later." " Yeah, yeah." " Colt, wait a minute." "I got something for you." "Really?" "Merry Christmas." "Whoa." "Did not see that coming." "Do not cry, Bennett." "Lock it up." "I ain't been that emotional since..." "Ebenezer Scrooge gave a turkey to Kermit the Frog." "All right." "I'm gonna lock up out back." "You guys okay, or you need a second knife to make it a fair fight?" "We're all right." "You got a place to stay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Good." "You know, if you wanna... move back into the house..." "No." "No, thanks." "All right." "You know, Dad, I, uh... appreciate the gesture of the knife... but if you really thought I was a great rancher..." "I'd still be at home working with you." "Merry Christmas." "Heather." "Hey, Colt." "Hey." "What are you doing here?" "I mean..." "Merry Christmas." "You, too." "What's up?" "Nothing." "Um..." "I just..." "I'm pregnant." "Whoa." "Yeah."