"(man) It was very..." "I got up, took a shower, made myself coffee." "I kept telling myself, I'll wake her up after I do this or this little step." "That's not true." "I knew I was going to delay waking her up for as long as possible." "(woman) What was it you really wanted?" "I wanted her..." "Same as always, I wanted her to disappear." "I wanted her to be the hell out of there." "And she got the hell out of there." "She took the hint." "She woke up, you were dressed, ready to go to work." "More or less, yeah." "She took the hint." "And yet, just the night before..." "You wanted her very badly?" "Yeah." "I know." "Really badly." "(dance music)" "(conversation drowned out by music)" "He can stretch himself..." "He can stretch himself from here to Ethiopia." " We said him already." " No, no." "The rubber man." "He's the last of the Fantastic Four that we've been searching for." "No, we already said him." "Look, there's a taxi." "Taxi!" "We are not in need of coach service, my lady." " This is my kingdom and my palace..." " Come on." "Come on." " Be off." " Goddam you fucking mind." " Cock-suckers." " (both) Be off!" " (woman) The fireball." " The one made of brown stones." " That's Brownstone Man." " No, his name is Lighter Brown." "(woman laughs)" "God, the telephone company." "How could I take home a girl who works for the telephone company?" "Go home." "I'm the director of personnel." "She hires those incompetents." "Oh, no." "(woman) What do you do, Mr Wise Guy?" "Literature." "(woman laughs)" " (man) A bit of chess?" " Yeah, baby." " (man) Checkmate." " Does that mean you win?" "(woman laughs)" "(siren approaching)" "(screeching)" "A fucking bat!" "All right now, just relax." "Oh, right." "Shoo!" "Shoo!" " "Shoo"?" " Shoo!" "(she screams)" "(bat screeches)" "(sobbing, laughing)" "There's a..." "Never mind." "(bat screeching)" " Did you get it out?" " Let's go." "If I'd known you had a fucking roommate..." "(both laughing)" "Taxi!" "(he laughs hysterically)" "Alva." "Alva!" "Yes, Mr Loew." "All right." "Frank Heatherton wants a copy of the first contract he had for the sale of his short story..." ""Rattlesnake Hills, Der Spiegel." "It was his first foreign sale, and now he wants to frame the agreement." "The story was sold in 1963." "And I know that's a long time before either of us were here, but there is no reason why the agency shouldn't have a copy of it." "I looked under the Heathenon files and under Rattlesnake Hills, but I'm asking you to go through the entire Der Spiegel file because that is a fat file and nothing is in order." "It will take hours, but it will be there." "Somewhere." " Please find it and bring it to me." " Yes, Mr Loew." "(intercom beeps) (woman) Peter?" "Joel Reznick on O2." "(woman on intercom) Mr Loew?" "Mr Loew?" "Are you there?" "Starting with your earliest years when you somehow were taught to expect something that wasn't even halfway attainable." "Peter?" " Well, I guess my time's up." " We have a couple more minutes." "(clock striking) (woman) You know, lately you have always been telling me when our time is up." "And I just wonder if maybe...?" "Does it make you feel a little insecure when I say..." " Well, what?" " Nothing." "I was remembering..." "I brought this girl up to my place the other night." "Really hot, you know." "And we're on the bed." "Suddenly, this bat comes swooping down out of nowhere." " A bat?" " Holy shit." "But this really happened." "This pan I don't know if this really happened or I dreamt it later." "I'm fighting this bat off all alone and I'll be damned if I didn't get... really turned on." " You were aroused?" " Yeah." "But seconds before, you were in the throes of passion." " Yeah, I know." " So then you were aroused." " With the girl?" " Yes, with the girl." "Oh, sure." "Yes." "Absolutely." "But then she left the room and I was..." "I mean..." "I came down." "I was in mortal combat with a fucking bat." "Give me a break." "You were fighting off the bat and that's when you had this new feeling?" "Then, yes." "That is the precise order of events." " And on that note..." " Oh, oh, yes." " See you on Tuesday." " Bye-bye." "Alva." "I didn't see, did you find that Heatherton contract?" "I checked the files under Heathenon and Rattlesnake Hills, but I couldn't find it." "I guess I'm gonna have to look under the Der Spiegel files." "I told you that I checked those files." "I already checked them." "Sorry." "I must have misunderstood." "I'm gonna get right to it." "(dance music)" "(woman in crowd) I don't know, maybe." "(man in crowd) ..inconceivable to me that you like that play." "Hey, how you doing?" "My name's Gary, what's yours?" "I don't save the same amount I put in the other account." "Say I put 2,000 dollars in the IRA." "That doesn't mean I save 2,000 at income tax time." "It's more like 700." "Right, Peter?" "Plus, I get interest on the 2,000 in the other account." "(man) ..raise high the roof beam." "(woman laughs)" " Did you get that joke?" " No." "I love your earrings." "Thank you." "I'm Peter Loew." "Rachel." "Ah!" "God!" "Shit!" "God..." "(Peter) OK." "OK." "OK." "Yes." "Yes." "Yes." "Yes." "Who are you?" "It's all right." "It's all right." "You chose me." "(sucks in breath sharply)" "(Peter humming)" "What a glorious Sunday." "How nice not to have to go in to work." "No comments on my coffee, please." "If you don't like it, I'll send out." "I do it all the time." "Well, do you like it?" "I gotta take a piss." "(answering machine) You have reached Peter." "lam not in at the moment, but leave your name, number and a message." "I'll get back to you as soon as I can." "Thank you." "(beep)" "(woman) Forget about getting back to this girl." "You son of a bitch." "You don't just walk out on somebody like that, you bastard!" "Don't you ever call me again." "You fuck!" "Fuck you!" "Yeah, well fuck you, too, sister." "So..." "How was your weekend?" "It was all right." "It was nothing earth-shattering." "Did you hurt yourself?" " Just cut myself shaving." " Oh." "Well, Peter." "Why don't we begin where we left off last week?" "You started to tell me about this strange feeling you had when this bat flew through the window of your apartment." "Huh?" "The feeling of exultation that you experienced." "You made it sound as though it were something more than sexual." "I don't... really know what you're talking about." "I don't remember." "You were sure about it last weekend." "It made a strong impression." "Oh, yes." "OK." "I know." "I guess I was pretty horny." "Pretty keyed up from being with the girl right before." "I was drunk, too." "That was it." "I'd had a little to drink." "I was a little drunk." "Plus I was horny." "(sighs) And have you seen this girl again?" "No." "(intercom beeps) (woman) Peter?" "Frank Heathenon on O3." "All right." "And Judy, send Alva in here right now." "(footsteps)" "Yes, Mr Loew." "That's Frank Heathenon on the phone." "For me." "He's calling about the contract which he still hasn't gotten a copy of." "How do I know he hasn't gotten a copy?" "Because I haven't sent it to him." "Why haven't I sent it to him?" "Because you haven't found it." "Now, it's fucking Tuesday and I still don't see it on my desk." "Do you?" "Huh, Alva?" "No!" "I'm going through the files, but I have a million other things to do." "I want you to be here and listen to the song and dance that I have to do." "That I have to do, because you haven't done your job." "Ready?" " Hi, Frank." "How are you?" " (man) Hello, Peter." "I'm fine, thanks." "I just wanted to say about that letter I sent, requesting the copy of Rattlesnake Hills' sale to Der Spiegel." "There's absolutely no rush on that." "It's an old contract." "I'm sure you and your girls got better things to do. (laughs)" "I'm in the middle of moving, so I'll give you a call when I'm settled in." "Yeah, OK, Frank." " So, is life treating you well?" " Yeah, Frank." " Good." "Take care, old buddy." " All right." "Bye-bye, Frank." "Well..." "Seems I didn't have to do a song and dance after all, Alva." "As you could hear, I couldn't get a word in edgewise." "Mr Heathenon is boiling mad, and he has implied that if he doesn't get that copy within the week, he will terminate his agreement with our agency and sign up with a more efficient one." "Am I getting through to you, Alva?" "I'll go right to it, Mr Loew." "Judy, I'll be out for the rest of the day." " Hey!" "Do I get waited on today or what?" " Right away, sir." "Right away." "(girl) And then he took me on one of those horse and carriage rides." "And in the middle of it, he asked me to marry him." "Fucking greasehole!" "Are you all right, sir?" "Sure?" "Are you?" " (woman on telephone) Hello." " Dr Glaser?" "You have reached the office of Dr Dorothy Glaser." "Please leave your name..." "(telephone ringing)" " Hello?" " Jackie?" " Yeah?" " (Peter) Jackie, don't hang up, please." "This is Peter." "I want to explain about the other day." "There was a reason..." "I had a very good reason for doing what I did." "I..." "Look, you know I'm very fond of you." "I didn't mean to hurt you." "It was... it was some illness." "I feel funny talking on the phone about this." " Better be a hell of a good reason." " Let's meet." "Can you?" "Tonight?" "You wanna get together tonight?" "Meet somewhere?" " I can't for a couple of hours." " Fine." "Fine." "Let's just say nine o'clock." "Mondo Cane." " All right." "Nine o'clock." " Great." "Great." "OK." "I'll see you then." "Bye-bye." "(siren approaching)" "(woman spits)" "(knock on door)" "(knock on door)" "(dog barking)" "(Peter) Who's there?" "Who is it?" "(Creepy music)" "He is wondering, "How did she get in here?"" "And he is realising that he let her in, as she is his lover." "His most passionate mistress." "And he is realising that she is a jealous mistress." "Yes." "(man mumbles) Alva..." "Alva?" "Alva." "Alva." "(shouts) Alva." "(shouts louder) Alva." "(screams) Alva!" "(Peter screaming) Alva!" "Alva!" "There you are!" "I'm looking for it, Mr Loew." "I'm looking." "What the hell is he doing in here?" "I have a gun." "If you nun me, I'm gonna use it." "What the fuck is going on?" "I don't know..." "I'm doing all I can." "Maybe the contract was lost." "Don't come near me." "I'm telling Mr Langdon about this." "And I swear I'm gonna use my gun if you ever touch me." " Just once." " No, no, Alva." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean..." "I'm sorry." "You all right, honey?" "(whispers) Yeah." "(all laughing)" "Nothing like a little office trauma to keep things interesting." "The chase was my favourite pan." "Pete hurdling over those desks." "You weren't there for the grand finale." "She asked me for a raise." "Can you believe it?" "She actually does keep a gun in that little bag." "She takes the subway into Pelham every night." "I don't blame the kid." "She asked me for a raise for getting chased into the ladies room." "I think she deserves it." "Take it out of Attila's pay-cheque." "Fuck you." "(boss) One question, Peter." "Is my name written anywhere on the bathroom wall and what did it say?" "(Peter laughs)" "(Creepy music)" "(sobbing)" "(shouts)" "(man singing)" "(man singing)" "What is happening to me?" "(man singing)" "(Creepy music)" "(growls seductively)" "I had a difficult day yesterday." "Got a little upset... at the office." "Do you want to talk about it?" "It's just there's this contract we're trying to locate." "(sighs)" "Shouldn't]?" "If a company..." "If a literary agency makes a copy of every contract... of every single contract it makes with a client and then puts it in a file, in the appropriate file... shouldn't the copy be in that file?" " Yes, I suppose it should." " It should." "Right?" " Yes." " Right?" "Hmm." "Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep" "Unless it's somehow been misfiled." " Misfiled?" " Yes, misfiled." "Sometimes somebody puts a document in the wrong file and then it's misfiled." "It makes it much harder to find." "Who?" "Who?" "What do you mean?" "Who?" " I don't know who exactly." " You don't?" "No, I don't." "Whoever filed it in the first place, but I am not telling you anything you don't already know." "How could somebody misfile something?" "What could be easier?" "it's all alphabetical." "You just put it in the right file." "According to alphabetical order." "You know, A, B, C, D, E, F, G..." " Peter." " .." "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P..." " Peter!" " .." "Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z!" "Huh?" "That's all you have to do." "Very good." "You know your alphabet." "I never misfiled anything." "Not once." "Not one time!" "I'm sure that you didn't." "I wanna know." "Who did?" "I cannot possibly tell you that." " You can't?" " No, I can't." "Hah!" "And you call yourself a psychiatrist?" "It's kind of bright in here, isn't it?" "He is so eccentric." "(intercom beeps)" "Yes, Mr Loew?" "Actually, she's just leaving, Mr Loew." "Sure." "Alva." "Mr Loew would like to see you." "(knock on door)" "Come in, Alva." "(Peter) I hope you're not still angry at me about the other day." "I apologised, and I honestly meant it." "Pistachio?" "Yeah." "That mescaline." "Wow." "That's strange stuff." "I'll never do that again." "Jeez." " Yeah, I know." "I did it once." " Did you?" "Did you?" " Yeah, just once in high school." " Ah." "High school." "Yes, yes." "Those were the days, eh, Alva?" "So..." "Why...?" "Why do you have your coat on?" "Well, I'm leaving." "It's five o'clock." "But you still haven't found that contract yet, have you?" "There are 15 Der Spiegel files." "It's all I do all day." "I mean..." "But you haven't found it yet, Alva." "Don't you think it would be a good idea to stay late?" " Maybe work a little overtime?" " My eyes are killing me." "Ah..." "I was thinking today that maybe you could put somebody else on the job for a while." "Or another secretary to help me out." "I mean, you know, to make the job easier." "Alva." "There is no one else in this entire office that I could possibly ask to share such a horrible job." "You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva." "The lowest." "Do you realise that?" "Every other secretary has been here longer than you, Alva." "Every one." "Even if there was someone here who was here just one day longer than you," "I wouldn't ask that person to partake in such a miserable job as long as you were around." "That's right, Alva." "It's a horrible, horrible job." "Sitting through old contract after old contract." "I couldn't think of a more horrible job if I wanted to." "And you have to do it." "You have to." "Or I'll fire you." "Do you understand?" "Do you?" "(whispers) Yes." "Good." "Then there's no problem, then." "ls there?" "Don't you wanna use your gun, Alva?" "(Creepy music)" "(cymbals crashing)" "(man) Hey." "Here you go." "(car horn honking) Hey, man, you forgot your food." "(telephone ringing)" "(woman) I hate interrupted love affairs." "How much nicer when the outside world doesn't interfere with the pleasure." "You were so right to put yourself into my hands, Peter." "The only one who can put you out of your misery." "Tell me how much you love me, my angel." "Whisper it to me." "Just once." "(Peter moans) Please..." "Just once." "Oh, just once." "I know you do." "I can read your mind, my love." "I can see it in your actions." "You can't get through the day without thinking about me, can you?" "Tell me you love me." " Tell me." " Yes." "Yes." " Tell me how much you love me." " (Peter whispers) Yes." "Tell me." "I love you." "I love you." "I love you." "That was so clever of you. "Mescaline"?" "(laughing)" "How did you ever think of that?" "(he mutters)" "Oh, but why should I be so surprised?" "My little literary genius." "(Peter mumbles)" "I knew you could keep our passion a secret." "Sweet dreams, my angel." "(Peter singing in shower)" "(Peter) Huh?" "What's that?" "Wanna join me?" "Well, absolutely, love." "Watch your step." "Come on, now." "Don't do that." "I have to go to work." "Stop it now." "Come on!" "(gasps)" "Thank God it's Friday, that's all I've got to say." "All I'm gonna do this weekend is stay home and sleep." "This place is driving me crazy." " Morning, everyone." " Good morning." "I wonder what Alva's doing today." "(intercom beeps)" " Yes, Mr Loew?" " Would you send Alva in here?" " She called in sick today, Mr Loew." " Did she?" "She said she had a very bad cold." " A bad cold." "Thanks, Judy." " Mm-hm." "A bad cold." "My' my, my." "(sound of children)" "(Alva) I'm not going to work today, Mummy." "My boss is a bastard." "Don't use that kind of language in front of me." "Well, it's true." "I hate him." "Yes. "I hate him." "I hate him."" "What do you think?" "That's an excuse not to go to work?" "You know how many people hate their boss?" "I hate my boss, but do I stay home and cry about it?" " I know, Mummy, but..." " Listen, young lady." "You can't afford to lose that job." "You'll get no more money from your father and me." " I'll just get another job." " I'm late." "Now, get dressed and get your little ass into the city." " No." " Now!" "(whistling)" "(voices in Spanish on TV)" "(gasps) What are you doing here?" "What, Alva?" "I can hardly hear you through this window." " What are you doing here?" " I heard you were sick." "A terrible cold." " I'm calling the police." " The police?" "Alva, I'm here to call a truce, man." "Look..." "I just took a 20-dollar taxi ride so I could tell you" "I think it was wrong the way I treated you yesterday." "Is that an elaborate gesture or what?" "Plus, look." "Soup." "(doorbell ringing)" "Hi." "I stayed till one in the morning, and I still couldn't find the contract." "Alva, don't worry about it." "It's understandable." "I know how worried you were about losing Mr Heathenon as a client." "Alva, right now what's most important is your health." "Well, I'm..." "You see, I'm not really sick, Mr Loew." "I was just afraid to go back to the office without the contract." "Alva, I had a feeling that was the case." "And that's why I came all the way up here." " It's my fault you feel that way." " Oh, no, no, no." "I know you're trying to run an efficient office." "That may be, but some things just take time." "Hey, Alva." "The way I feel is, the hell with Frank Heathenon." "If he wants to go to another agency, fine." "So, what do you say?" "Do you wanna come to work?" "Door to door service, madam." "On me." "Truce?" "OK." "Truce." "Just give me a few minutes." "I'll be right back." "It's horrible when there are tensions between employer and employee." "Sometimes the pressures, you know, they just build up." "Wait till you get into a position of authority." "Yeah..." "Well, I mean, if I ever do." "You will, Alva." "You're a very bright girl." "That's how I know that today, by God, is the day you're gonna find that damned Heatherton contract." "I..." "I thought you said that you didn't care if Mr Heathenon left the agency." "I thought you said that everything took time." "That doesn't mean we're gonna stop trying to do the best damn job we can." "The work's not just gonna go away, Alva." "It never just goes away." "That goddam contract is somewhere in those goddam fucking files!" "(gags)" " Are you all right, Mr Loew?" " Shut up, bitch." "(Alva) Mr Loew..." "I was supposed to give some money to my brother and he works in that gas station over there." " Is it OK if we stop for a second?" " Yes." "Go." "(Alva) Emilio?" " Hey." " (Alva) Come to the back." "(Peter pants, groans)" "Hey." "Don't take it so hard, sis." "If you got the time to lean, you got the time to clean." "Old man Randolph." "He throws fits all the time." "Listen to me, OK?" "This guy is very weird." "I'm telling you." "(taxi driver) You all right?" "That's my baby." "Your... wife?" "50 years." "Keeps me going." "There is work and there is love." "I'm right?" "You are married man?" "Emilio." "Remember this?" "I want you to give me bullets for it." "Put that away." "Are you crazy?" "No." "You gave it to me." "What good is it if I can't use it?" "What's good is it'll scare the shit out of any motherfucker comes close enough to spit on you." "You ain't even supposed to be carrying this thing around." "Please?" "I'm asking you, Emilio." "Where is that little cunt?" "Look..." "Randolph don't even keep real bullets in his gun." "No?" "What about the robbery?" " When those pigs came here to rob?" " He scared them off with blanks." " All he has here is blanks, Alva." " OK, then give me the fucking blanks." "Fine." "44.50 only." "Fucking clean me right out!" "Crazy Jews..." "I just shelled out almost 50 bucks to get you back here, Alva." "You better hope you make it worth it to me." "(gasps)" "Oh, Christ." "Oh, Christ." "Where am I?" "Where am I?" "Oh, Christ!" "Where am I?" "I've become one." "A vampire." "Oh, God." "Oh, God, where am I?" "(man) You're in the crapper, Loew, and I'm taking a dump." "So leave the acting lessons for home or go back to the ladies room." "(intercom beeps) (Judy) Arthur Hesse on O1, Mr Loew." "Tell him I'm out." "Tell anyone who calls I'm out." "I'm in a meeting." " Are you all right, Mr Loew?" " Tell him I'm in a meeting." "It's impossible." "It can't be." "It's impossible." "It can't be." "(gentle rattling)" "(knock on door)" "Mr Loew?" "I found the contract." "(Alva) Mr Loew, I found it!" "Mr Loew?" "(knock on door)" "Mr Loew?" "I found the contract." "I never found the right woman, that's all." "I never found the right woman." "There's work and there's love." "I'm right?" "(Alva) Mr Loew?" "I found the contract." "Mr, I finally found..." "Well... it's just too late, Alva." " But why is it too late?" " It's too late, Alva." " It's not too late." " (in singsong voice) Too late." "Too late." " It's not too late." " Too late." "Too late." " Stay away!" " Too late. it's too late, Alva." "It's all too late, Alva." "Come here." " Come here, Alva." " Stay away!" "(Alva screams)" "Stay away!" " Do it." " I will." " Do it." " I swear to God I will." "Alva, do it or I'll fire you." "Understand?" " Unemployment." "Can you live with that?" " Oh, please..." " Do it, goddammit!" " Please, don't rape me." "Rape you?" "I will." "Come on, Alva." "Shoot." "(gunshot)" "Not the floor, Alva." "Me!" "Stay away!" "Me." "Me!" " (gunshots)" " Damn it." "Help me." "Help me!" "Shoot me." "Me." "Me!" " You're fired!" " God!" "God!" "(laughs)" "You're with me now, angel." "(screams)" "(screams)" "Hey..." "Hey." "I'm a vampire." "A real vampire." "(Peter shouting) I'm a vampire!" "I'm a vampire!" "I'm a vampire!" "I'm a vampire!" "I'm a vampire!" "I'm a vampire!" "I'm hungry." "Well, well." "You're with me now." "You're completely with me." "You're like me now, my angel." "You know what you have to do." "(knock on door)" "(Alva's mother) Alva?" "What's the matter with you?" "Come on, now." "Breakfast is on the table." "Leave me alone." "Alva?" "Alva?" "Don't know." "She don't want to get out of bed." "She's tired, I guess." " Did she go out last night?" " I don't know." "She didn't get in that late." "She went right into her room." "(gasps)" "(knocks on door)" "Alvy?" "Alvy, are you awake?" "Alva?" "You all right?" "Go away." "Yeah, well, I'll be at the station today, you want to talk." "Yeah, well I'll see you." "(telephone ringing)" "Fucking bastards!" "(man) We just got these in." "Now, these are fibreglass." "Very lifelike." "See the way they colour them?" "Just a little touch of yellow, so they blend in better." " How much?" " Those are 19.95." "What's the matter?" "Do you have anything for less?" "Oh, sure." "I got some cheapie plastic ones." "They're only 3.50." "Cheapie..." " I will take the plastic." " OK." "(haunting music)" "(telephone ringing)" " Hello?" " Hello, Dr Glaser?" "(muffled) This is Peter Loew." "Peter Loew." "Yes, Peter, how are you?" "I wonder if I could make my next appointment with you sooner." "I'd really like to make it sooner." "Well, let's see..." "My next appointment with you is Tuesday afternoon, right?" "I'd like to make it sooner." "I'm open on Tuesday morning." "How's that?" "Sooner." "Uh-huh." "Peter, do you have a cold?" " A cold." "Yeah." " OK." "Look." "I could squeeze you in on Monday afternoon." "Can you make that?" "Oh, sooner..." " Peter, is it something very urgent?" " Very urgent, yes." " All right." " Hurry up, honey." "I'll tell you what." "Why don't you come in on Monday morning and I'll come in early?" "7.30, all right?" "7.30." " Monday morning." " That's right." "7.30, Monday morning." "(pigeons cooing)" "(burp)" "(burp)" "(gasps)" "(alarm clock beeping)" "(alarm clock beeping)" "(people chattering)" "(thump)" "(dance music)" "(cymbals crashing)" "(gags)" "I'm sorry." "(woman) Very anti-social, Peter." "Extremely anti-social behaviour." "My, my goodness." "However are you going to continue this way?" "Rachel." "Are you actually going to go through with this every night?" "I can do it." "I know I can do it now." "I'm like you." "Remember?" "Peter." "You are so pathetic." "This?" "I love you." "I like you." "You disgust me, Peter." "(she spits)" " You're with me." " Don't touch me." " You are with me." " Well, it doesn't look like it." "Does it, Donald?" "No." "(Donald) Doesn't appear that way, does it?" "Doesn't appear that way at all." "I love you." "You can't just walk away." "You don't know what you're doing, damn it!" "I said I love you." "(gags)" "(dance music)" "(man) Hey, buddy!" "You don't remember me?" "You don't remember me?" " Peter, right?" " Yes, right." "Peter." "Right!" " Well, how are you?" " How am I?" " (Rachel) Get off!" " (Donald) Buddy, calm down!" "Let go of me, you fuck!" " You see her teeth?" " Shut up." " She's a goddam vampire!" " No!" "You fucking cunt!" "You're breaking up with me after I sucked that broad bone-dry." "(Peter) Look at her teeth, all of you." "She's a goddam vampire!" "She made me one, too." "Look at her teeth." "Look at her teeth." "She's a goddam vampire!" "She made me one, too!" "(bouncer) Stay out." "You see, I know I am." "I'm a vampire." "I can prove it." "You got a gun?" "You got a gun?" "Get the fuck off me!" "No!" "Don't..." "Please." "Better get back in your coffin, buddy." "The sun's almost up." "You're just a high school cunt." "I don't believe I really loved her, but she's a cunt, a high school..." "No!" "No sun." "Christ!" "This is the end." "I can't take it any more!" "Go ahead." "Kill me!" "Hey, what's doing?" "Hey" "What's wrong?" "(sobbing)" "Oh, God..." "Hey, hey." "Hey, now." "Hey, hey." "What's the matter, baby?" "Huh?" "What's the matter?" "Tell me." "Tell me." "Tell me what happened." "(tyres squeal)" "My girlfriend broke up with me." "I'm a vampire." "Kill me." "Kill me." "(suspenseful music)" "Your rosary beads..." "Take them out and put the cross up to me like this." " I no speak the English." " The cross." "The crucifix." "Me vampire!" "Vampire, you idiot." "Nosferatu." "(church bells ringing) Christ!" "The tortures of the damned!" "(suspenseful music)" "(wails)" "(wails)" "(car horn honking)" "(car horn honking)" "(driver) Get the hell out of my way!" "Are you crazy?" "All right." "Just tell me when you see him." "Sorry, I forgot." "Where did we leave off?" "Well, Peter, you wanted to make an earlier appointment, so what's up?" "I've been thinking about my depressions very seriously, and frankly I just don't think you can help me." "I think your profession is entirely bogus." "Entirely." "From my point of view, that is." "You really think so?" "Yes, I do." "I've been spending a lot of money here and I just think it's time for a change." "A change?" "What exactly did you have in mind for yourself?" " Don't laugh." " I'm a professional." "I don't laugh." " Um..." "love." " Love?" "Yes, baby, real love." "The sweep-me-off-my-feet." "The big L." "What?" "No, I'm not talking about fairy-tale love." "I'm talking about a mature relationship." "What do you think, I'm a kid?" "I know what you're thinking." "You're thinking, "Let's see him go out in the jungle and try to find love."" ""He'll come crawling back here in no time."" "I know it isn't easy, but I know it's possible." "Hell, I see it around me every day." "Do you know how horrible it is to see it around you every day?" "Do you know what kind of torture that is?" "I'll find it, goddammit." "I'll find it for myself, and then I'll be happy." "Holy shit, then I'll be happy." "(sniggers)" "(laughs)" "You said you wouldn't laugh." "I am..." "It..." "I'm sorry." "I'm only laugh..." "laughing because..." "If you had told me, if you had just told the good doctor, the time you could have saved." "The money the both of you could have saved." "Both of us?" "Both of us?" "What do you mean the both of us?" "(whispers) You and Sharon." " Sharon?" " Yes." "The patient who comes in after you." "She complains of exactly the same thing you do and personality-wise, I think you two are made for each other." " Really?" " Oh!" "I should have matched you two up long ago." " (doorbell)" " Hey, I think she's here now." "I'll just go and check." "Sharon." "What a beautiful name." "It's incredible." "It's really incredible." "Sharon." "This is Peter Loew." " Hi." " Hi." "I like poetry, horseback-riding," "Vivaldi and long weekends in the country." "Those are exactly the same things that I like." "Wait a minute." ""We walked along, While bright and red" "Uprose the rising sun"" " Wordsworth." " Incredible." "Wow!" "I guess you two won't be needing me any more." "I guess not." "Thank you, Dr Glaser." "This one's going to last." "I can tell." " It was written in the stars." " Written in the stars, yes." " Do you like Japanese food?" " It's the best." "So refreshing." "Did you see that?" "We're on exactly the same wavelength." "Fantastic." "So long, Dr Glaser." "Oh, I almost forgot." "Yes, Peter?" "Well, I did rape someone a couple of nights ago." "A girl at the office." "I just lost control." "It's just a little id release." "No use to worry." "Phew!" "I just thought I should tell you, OK?" "It's a load off my mind." "Oh, yeah..." "Also, I..." "Just spit it out, Peter." "Well, the fact is I did murder someone last night." "I turned into a vampire." "It's a long story." "Goodness." "Peter, people get murdered every day." "Do you think the world is going to stop?" "I guess, but the police and everything." "What if they find me?" "Would you stop worrying and just get on with your big romance." "He hasn't even been arrested and the big lug is carrying on." "Get out of here, the both of you." "Have a wonderful life together and I will take care of the cops." "Get out, both of you." "Out, out, out." "Shh!" "Shh!" "Thank you very much, Dr Glaser." "(kisses the air)" "You are a gem." "Come on, Sharon." "(whistles)" "Do you like that tune?" "Yeah." "Actually, I live up right around here." "Do you wanna come up?" "You can join me." "OK." "Well, I was born in Philadelphia, but I've been a New Yorker now for going on ten years." "And what about you?" "Ah, nice." "I hear it's very beautiful country up there." "What?" "This?" "It's like I started saying before, I turned into a vampire last week." "It's all in the past, though." "You OK?" "You know..." "(gasps) There he is." "I don't wanna talk about it any more." "It's all from a very unhappy period in my life and I don't wanna talk about it." "End of subject, OK?" "Sharon... (shouts) Goddammit, what did I just say?" "You don't let up, do you, cunt?" "You just keep harping and harping over the same goddam thing." ""Why did you become a vampire?"" ""Why couldn't you be normal?"" ""Peter, does this mean we can never have children?"" "...'cause there's no way in hell that I would ever, ever marry a loud-mouth pig like you." "In the ten minutes I'm with you and the shit just starts right up." "What?" "What?" "You hate my guts?" "You wanna go home?" "You wanna leave?" "Good." "Fine." "Get the hell out of here, you fucking pig!" "Leave me the fuck alone!" "I really can't handle these relationships." "Maybe I should see a shrink." "(screams, 969$)" "Get up." "Get up, motherfucker!" "(screams in agony)" "(Organ music)" "Dream of me, my angel." "Dream of me." "(Rachel) Dream of me, my angel." "Dream of me."