"Previously..." "Speed dating?" "!" "This whole thing reeks of desperation{\if you ask me}." "No offense." "So, what now?" "All I know is, I'm in college and I had fun with you." " What about Michael?" " What do you want?" "{\I think that }We should break up." "Our new ZBZ president is" " Ashleigh." " What?" "How's that possible?" "You weren't even in the running." "I had great ideas for this house." "Did you?" "Cause I didn't hear any." "You played the politics perfectly but great politicians are supposed to inspire people, not be better than the alternative." " I can't believe I lost." " You may not be president, but that doesn't mean you can't lead the house." "Good morning, prez!" "You all set for your first officers' meeting?" "I guess so." " How are you doing?" " Good." "{\You know, }I'm going to have some free time now so I thought I'd get a head start on finals." "I know you better than that." "This is crazy awkward{\, right}?" "You should be president, not me." "I didn't even run." "I have no business being president." "You know," "I'm going to announce my resignation at the meeting and appoint you." "I can do that." "You can't do that." "Really?" "See?" "No business." "You should've won." "I was so preoccupied with beating Frannie," "I never considered what the house really wanted." "You won the election, they want you." "We'd better get a move on." "How would it look if you were late to your first{\officers'} meeting?" "Pretty bad, right?" "I just..." "I pass this on to you in the meeting." "It's a ritual." "It's in he book of rules and rituals." "OK, then, we'd better follow the book." "Which I'll give you at the meeting, too." "Two more weeks left in freshmen year, isn't that crazy?" "Which means we only have 2 more weeks to do all the things we wanted to do in the dorm." "Such as?" "We always talked about sleeping overnight in the laundry room dryers." "Or sneaking up onto the roof." "No, I've got too much respect for law and country and not enough time for shenanigans." "I gotta find my new dorm for next year." "I'm leaning toward Appleby and Wohlford, but the bathroom situation is not ideal." "I mean, come on." "Low-flush toilets?" "That's not gonna get the job done." " I thought you'd stay here." " I can't." "My new roommate's not in honors engineering." "You already have a new roommate?" "Well, you're shipping off to Kappa Torrid, and I couldn't just wait around and see what kind of nutbag the school stuck me with." "So who's the lucky guy?" "My old purity pledge bro, Kirk." "The one who goes to Bob Jones University?" "Went." "It's in South Carolina and the climate wreaked havoc on his adenoids, so he's transferring." "But he's more or less the coolest dude I know." "Don't mind if he stays with us for a few days?" "Just to get our routine down." "Of course not." "When are you planning on him coming here?" "I don't know exactly." "My god, you're crazy." " How long you been hiding behind my bed?" " Four and a half hours." "Good one!" "You're stealthy, man." "I always said you should be a sniper!" "I appreciate that, Dale!" " I'm Rusty." " Right." "Here's what we do, get lunch, take a tour of Appleby, then go to the chapel." "Greek 2x09 Three's is a crowd" "Synchro : 7844, Coke." "Welcome everyone to our first post-elections officers meeting." "So, I know this past week was  surprising for everyone." "But it's time for all of us to look ahead as we transition to our new regime." "So in the spirit of passing the torch," "I'm proud to pass on the presidential gavel to my best friend and fellow sister," "Ashleigh Howard." "Sorry, sticky fingers." "Anyway, your newly-elected president will now tell you what we, she, has coming this Friday." "This Friday at 7:30," "Casey..." "We... have booked Dobler's for a night of sister bonding and fun before the end of the year!" "Actually, since I'm the new social chair, shouldn't I be the one making that announcement?" " Right, yes." "I'm sorry." " It's OK." "Excuse me, point of order!" "Yes, Laura?" "Shouldn't we look ahead to next year's Rush instead of Dobler's?" "I mean, I get you were social chair and all but what's going on with fraternity Pref?" "Have the Omega Chis asked us yet?" "I don't think so." "Maybe?" "The Omega Chis haven't officially Pref'd us yet, that's true." "But, I... we... she... has no reason to believe they won't." "Who the Omega Chis pick for their first mix is critical for us." "It tells the incoming freshman we're the best." "Pref sets the social stage for the entire year." "If we don't begin Rush with the number one fraternity on campus, we could be screwed socially." "We need this invite." "I don't mean to jump in, but it's a really simple solution." "I can talk to Evan and we'll have that invite in no time." "That won't be necessary, Frannie." "It's under control." "Moving on." "Right." "Moving on." "OK, I got one." "Helen Mirren or Judi Dench?" " Who would you rather?" " Helen Mirren is the obvious choice, but Dame Judi won an Oscar for 13 minutes of screen time." "Imagine what she could do to me in an hour." " You gotta choose." " When the choice is that difficult, there's really only one clear solution... both." " You can't, it's against the rules." " Come on." "I'd love to be a part of that Queen Elizabeth sandwich." "C'mon, you know you're a one-woman man." "I beg your pardon." "It's no big deal." "You've just kinda turned into a serial monogamist." "Where'd you even learn that phrase?" "Wikipedia." "It's not a big deal." "So, you like to have one girlfriend." "I also like to have sex with hot chicks." "Which I met a few during Speed Dating." "Speed dating?" "I went with Spitter for moral support." "{\Look, }Wade means that when people call you a serial monogamist..." "Hold on!" "People call me that?" "All the time." "Really?" "This is worse than I thought." "Serial monogamist is just a stone's throw away from being "the marrying kind."" "I need to re-establish my reputation as the Titan of Tawdry." " I need a threesome." " You can't just make a threesome happen." "Yes, I can." "And guess what?" "I will." "This Saturday night." "But I'll need help from both of you." "Don't flatter yourselves." "I've got the pepperoni." "More'zah!" "Thursday's usually our'zah day, Dale." "I totally forgot." "{\God, }I'm sorry." "I figured you were eating most of your meals at the frat house by now." "That'd be next year." "You're in a fraternity?" "Can you believe it?" "Your buddy Dale has lived a year with a liberal fornicator." "As opposed to the conservative kind?" "Why are there chess pieces on my bed?" "I figure, since we're going our separate ways, with you choosing to live in that petri dish and me taking the high road..." "Kirk, you OK?" "I figured we should divide up the community property." "Amicably, of course." "I just don't know how to split up the chess board." "I don't know if we cut it in half, or just divide up the red and black squares?" "I could hold onto it until next year, so we could play then?" "Fight me for custody of the board?" "You're not gonna play it at the frat house." "They're more the Chutes and Ladders crowd." "I can actually taste the fennel in the pepperoni." "This pizza is fennelicious." "Fennelicious?" "That's funny, right?" "Kirk's always had a very healthy appetite and quite a facility with language, kind of like James Joyce, with the making up new words." "And whatnot." "It is fennelicious." "See?" "So, a four-hour meeting wasn't a good sign, right?" "The house is definitely divided and the Frannie faction seems intent on making your life hell." "So does Frannie." "She just can't give up." "I can ask Frannie for help just this once, right?" "She's still a sister." "No!" "She's ingratiating herself again." "She's using Evan as her weapon." "{\The }1st rule of a good president is never let someone else tell you what to do." "That makes sense." "So here's what you're gonna do..." "I'm just moving across campus and Dale seems to think I'm going to the moon." "And the guy he's planning on replacing me with?" ""Kirk." Is it just me, or is that a really stupid name?" "You can never tell if he's saying Kirk or Kurt." "So annoying." "He also does this play-by-play of every bite of food that he chews." "He described his gum as a minty fresh piece of paradise." "That's a little weird." "And Dale seems to think he's the second coming." "You know what he does for fun?" "He hides in weird places then he jumps out of them to scare the crap out of Dale." "Last night, I got home, I reached into my clothes hamper, and Kirk jumped out." "He'd been hiding in there for an hour." "I almost had a heart attack." " Who does that?" " Apparently, the second coming?" " I'm serious." " No, I'd say you're jealous." "Of Dale?" "No, of Kirk." "{\I mean, }You're upset that Dale's replacing you." "But you've replaced him with an entire fraternity." "No, I'm not moving out for another two weeks, and I'm not replacing anybody." "Living in the house will not affect my relationship with Dale." "Once you become permanent at KT, everything's supposed to stay the same?" "Come on, Rusty." "Circumstances change, relationships change, life changes." "You know, if you want to stay friends with Dale, you gotta just suck it up and get used to Kurt." " Kirk." "Remember, keep it casual and only between you, Evan and Dino." " What are you going to do?" " I'm just going to sit here in case you get in trouble." "Sounds like a plan." "Here they come." "Good evening, gentlemen." "Thank you both for joining us." "Now, let's talk about Pref." "I'm gonna go grab a drink." " Text me if you're in over your head." " All right, thanks." "You guys are all transitioned, huh?" "Some more than others." "Sorry to hear about your loss, Case." "I mean, what an upset?" "I'm just here for support." "So, Evan, I was wondering when we might expect the Omega Chi Pref invite?" "Well, sorry to break it to you gals, but my brothers and I have decided to, you know, shop around a little before committing this year." "It's nothing personal." "When do you think you might come to a decision?" "Because we're not going to wait forever." "We're shopping around, too." " If you had to guess?" " It's hard to say when." "Come on, you guys Pref with us every year." "Just cut to the chase, set it, and move on." "We've been getting a lot of attention from other sorities." " Even though your girlfriend is a ZBZ?" " As presidents, we have to put the house first." "That's right." "I keep..." "Sorry." "I keep forgetting you're no longer president, Case." "We're done here." "Or I'm done here." "Ash, are we done here?" "No." "I..." "OK, yeah, I guess we're done here." "I can't believe we had to sit in the first row." "I don't think my neck will ever recover." "I kinda liked it." "It felt like we were right there in the action." "Thanks, Kirk!" " Felt like we were inside the screen." " I know." "That's crazy, right?" "Darn it, I forgot my cardigan." "I'll be right back." "Get me some more popcorn!" "Dude, you gotta try this." "This is delicious, with artificial butter flavor, the right amount of salt, and a bit of mustard just for fun." "No one ever eats Titan popcorn." "It's probably been sitting out since 2001, the year." "Well, I, uh..." "I guess that's why I came prepared." "I'm totally baked right now." "Baked?" "But I'm actually kind of running a little low." "I was wondering if maybe you could, you know, help me out?" "Help you out?" "With what?" "Can you score me some herb?" "This popcorn sucks." "Give me this." "You probably didn't put enough butter on it." "He's so demanding when he's hungry." "Hey, uh, Dale." "My battery's dead." "Can I borrow your phone for a sec?" "How about a little Trivial Pursuit, Bible Edition?" ""Eve in garden tempts man with apple and lady parts." What book?" "Maybe later." "Genesis." "It was Genesis." "Who are you writing to?" "My mom." "Cool." "How about a little Bible Boggle?" "Remember at Youth Group, when you spelled Leviticus and Harvey Brubauer started crying?" "{\Bud?" "!" "AtraduirepourlaVF}" "Dale, your pajamas flew out the window." "What gives?" "Must be the lightweight cotton." "You know, 'cause my winter flannels never have that problem." "All right." "I'll be right back." " What's wrong with you?" " C'mon!" "Considering you're in a fraternity, I just figured you'd be cool with it." "Why don't you have this conversation with your future roommate?" "Settle down, it's not like" "I'm Mr. Wake and Bake." "At least not every single day." "I just do it to relax." "It also comes in handy with stale popcorn." "But you're Dale's purity pledge brother." "But I'm on Rumspringa." " Isn't that only for the Amish?" " Yes, technically." "But I just think God wanted me to take a break." "You got kicked out of Bob Jones University, didn't you?" "Let's just say we agreed to part company and the only way my parents would send me to school again was if I agreed to come here, room with Dale in the Dooby-Free Shop" " You don't plan on telling him?" " Dale?" "And you can't, either." "I mean," "Dale is not like us." "OK, I mean, he's a true believer." "He can't handle the truth." "Stop!" "Give them back!" "So why a 70s theme party?" "No one here was alive during the 70s." "I wasn't even alive during the 80s." "Ah, youth." "The 70s was when debauchery was invented, Spitter." "And tonight I plan to carry on in that same sordid tradition by having myself a threesome." "Wait." "Wasn't debauchery invented in ancient Rome?" "Actually, the modern concept of debauchery defines its origins as the pagan spring equinox of antiquity." "Wikipedia." " You're planning a threesome?" " You can't plan it." "That's be sleazy." "It's best to create to create a conducive world for the impromptum ménage à trois." "It seems to me that anytime you have three people involved in anything someone's always left out though, right?" "There are worse things than being the odd man out in a threesome." "Yep, I'm definitely in a fraternity house." "Hypothetically speaking." "Hey, Rus." "You got a sec?" "I'm sorry, I don't know how to start." "I usually talk to Ashleigh about this kind of stuff and I know you're going to judge me." "I don't always judge." "I'm pissed at Ashleigh." "Cause of the election?" "That's crazy." "It's not like she ran against you." " She's your best friend." " I know!" "I know you're right." "I lost." "She won." "She's my best friend." "But I've been working towards this since my sophomore year." "All the things I wanted to do to make next year amazing." "My last year." "And now I can't." "'m jealous of my best friend and it sucks." "It's better than being jealous of some random kid named Kirk." "Who's Kurt?" "Don't even get me started." "{\He's } An old friend of Dale's who's bad news." "But if I tell Dale" "I know it's gonna hurt him." "Like it might hurt Ashleigh if I don't help her get through Pref." "I mean, but it's for their own good, for us to get involved." "We should always do what's best for friends." "Yes, even if it might appear to favor us in some way." "Good talk." "So, how does it feel to rule the world of Zeta Beta?" "It sucks." "I think I could be great, but this was always Casey's thing." "And now that it's my thing, and I can't help but realize I don't know what the hell I'm doing." "You've gotta give yourself some time to learn." "It's hard to learn, though, when the only person you ever go to for advice wishes she was doing what you're doing, or trying to do." "She's obviously more qualified." "You know, maybe it'd be best for both of you if you didn't rely on Casey so much." "Just go with your gut." "Well, that's why I'm here." "I was hoping you'd do what you did last time." "Talk to the guys, get them on our side about Pref before any other sorities got involved." "Every sorority is involved." "They've been courting us for the past week." "I wish I could talk to Casey about this." "Look, I know you're trying to be sensitive to Casey's feelings and all, but you're president." "That means you can't stand safely behind in her shadow anymore." "And that means you can't take a backseat on any issue, including Pref." "You're gonna be the one held responsible for what happens, so you've gotta be the one who's driving the bus." "All right?" "Where is he?" "Who, Kirk?" "He went to the bathroom a while ago." "He spends a lot {\more }time in there han I remember." "It may be a fiber issue." "Last night after the movie," "Kirk asked me to score him some herb." " Basil or tarragon?" " Weed." " Like dandelions?" " Marijuana." "He's a serious pothead." "Come on." "Good one, Rus." "That's my BFF, man." "I was there and watched him take an oath in front of Pastor Chuck and the entire Baptist youth group to stay away from illegal substances and corrupting influences for all eternity, longer if necessary." "Look at the signs." " He's always hungry." " High metabolism." "Bloodshot eyes?" "Allergies." "I told you, that's why he transferred!" "He mistook my slippers for bunnies." "Rusty, they're bunny slippers." "It's an easy mistake." "All right, you know what, Kirk is my best friend." "And he's my pledge bro, and he's my new roommate." "And next year we're going to have fun, good wholesome fun, all year, in our room, together." " Come on, I'm not..." " { o. }I don't have time." "Cause Kirk is probably trapped in the stall {\again, }and I have to go help him." "Because that's what friends do for each other." "Jen F told me that the Gamma Mu's baked a gingerbread replica of the Omega Chi house." "And the Pi Delta Epsilons set up a bikini car wash." "Are they still out there?" "My car's pretty dirty." "This is ridiculous." "Frannie should just talk to Evan." "Hang on, guys." "Everyone calm down." " I have a better idea." " Hey Casey," "I've been thinking." "And I've decided we should just talk to Frannie." " I really..." " Don't worry." "I have it covered." "Trust me." "All right, girls, it's time to get it on!" "Hey, everybody, we've got company." "The sisters of ZBZ invite all of the Omega Chis to a night of pleasure and pain at Dobler's." "The pleasure will be us." "And the pain will be provided by that really big boxing pay-per-view on a really, really big screen." "Looks like you have another front-runner for Pref." "Great." "Y'know, there are some things I'm gonna miss about this." "Hey, what's going on out there?" "Ashleigh, or more likely Casey, just gave us an offer we can't refuse." "I'm not surprised, but I'm also sure you're gonna continue to hold off the brothers until I make my move." "{\Well, }If I hold off the Pref invite much longer, the guys may actually decide to go with another house, and not ZBZ." "The bikini car wash, that was a huge hit." "Oh, please, the Gamma Psis are almost as slutty as the Tri Pis." "Yeah, but I mean, only you and Calvin see that as a downside" "Maybe we should Pref with someone else." "{\I mean, }Casey would never recover in the house from that." "But neither would I." "OK, well, you know..." "I can make up an excuse to make us late tonight, but I can't keep them away forever." "Trust me, Ashleigh will cave." "You sure you don't have any Chambers blood coursing through those veins?" "Very sure." "You know, I know almost nothing about your family." "I'm not one to whine about my tragic past." "With anyone." "I'm gonna go." "I'll call you later." " Hey, Wade." " Hey, Rollergirl." "Far out." " I can dig it." " All right." "Hey, Cappie." "Hey, Rollergirl." "So, where's this friend you keep telling me about?" "I think you'll really dig one another." "This is Cappie." "Excuse me one moment." "So, I was thinking, maybe if we just..." "I'll take that as your third and final "no."" "I tried to warn him, but he wouldn't listen." "You know what, he deserves the cheese weasel." " Did you just say "cheese weasel"?" " I'm moving on." "Next year, I'm Dale-free." "I'm just glad to be getting out of there alive." "So, uh, which one of these rooms is gonna be yours?" "Here." "Rusty, it's a pigsty." "It's only messy because it's Ferret's room." " He's the house slob." " Is Ferret human?" "Once he moves out, I'll clean it up." "It'll be good as new." "Guys, I found something we can put the extra beer in!" "Stop it, Beav!" "What are you doing, Beav?" "And what does one have to do to be labeled the house slob of Kappa Tau?" "I said "freeway!"" " Lisa Lawson!" " Cappie Cappie!" "Just the girl I'm looking for." "Really." "Do you by any random chance happen to remember a conversation you and I had last year at the Cinco de Mayo party?" "I would love to have a threeway." "No better time than now." "Meet me upstairs." "I'll find a ménage for our trois." " Beverage?" " Thanks." "You look far-out." "I'll take that." "So, how are things with you?" "I'm OK." "I'm single now." " Which is kinda how I like it." " I totally know how you feel." "So,{\ uh,} it's cool if we're just friends?" "How about we're friends that go to Gentleman's Choice together?" "{\Ah, }Good call." "There's too many straight horny people around here." "Great idea, huh?" "Nice costume." "I'm not wearing a costume." "Dyn-o-mite!" "Dale?" "What are you doing here?" "{\Well, }You know, Kirk kind of sensed that there was some tension between us, and, being the peacemaker that he is, he insisted we come find you and clear the air." "You know, he once brokered peace between a Presbyterian and a Methodist." "Hey, I wanna dance!" "All right." "See, he's so happy that we're talking again that he's dancing to evoke joy." "And you know, it's like a fever." "It's catching on" "I don't know." "I'm feeling it, too" "Let's all just dance our anger away." "You know?" "Right, Kirk?" "All right, is there anything else you want to say to me?" "Glad you came by." "Good, good." "Good. {\, good, good.}{\Well, you know, }I'm probably gonna grab Kirk and head back to the dorm, then." "We've got a big day tomorrow." "We're taking a tour of Benson Hall." "Their salad bar has garbanzo beans and pine nuts." "He wants to sample both of them." "You've seen his appetite." "I don't have to tell you." "{\Um, }They're coming." "In certain cultures, like Spain or Los Angeles, 20 minutes late is early." "And we're in Ohio." "Which is exactly why there's nothing to worry about." "Clearly this wasn't your idea, Ash." "Did Evan say anything to you about coming?" "I'm not sure." "He did say some of the guys thought the invite was kind of desperate." "But whatever." "It's not your fault." "You listened to Casey." "Are you sure you don't want me to at least call him?" "Text Evan?" "Everything's handled, Frannie." "Maybe we need to ask her..." "Don't worry, the Omega Chis will show." "Evan doesn't have that much power." "See!" "Just here for my shift." "That's it, Case." "I gotta go with my gut." "I'm just... gonna ask Frannie to call Evan." "It's fine." "Don't open that door." "You've seen what she did to me." "But I'm not you." "Trust me, it's a really bad idea." "As bad as this one?" "So, you're taking her side?" "I'm taking our side." "The house is tired of all the politics and your fight with Frannie." "This is a sorority, not the Middle East." "They just want peace and a Pref invite from the Omega Chis." "I'm trying to help you." "And I'm president, and I'm making my first executive decision." "Are you sure you want to do this?" "I mean, a lot of guys would be nervous with two girls." "Trust me, that wouldn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling right now." "Lisa, I want you to meet the third member..." " You?" " You?" "Me?" "Skank-monster stole my boyfriend last year." "I didn't steal him." "I just had sex with him." "Girls, girls, come on." "I think I speak for all red-blooded males here when I say let's just kiss and make up." "This is too weird, Cap." "Sorry." "That's a mood killer." "Actually, I really want to get back at my ex." " I'm still in." " Mood's back!" "My sister, Janette, is downstairs." " Sister?" " Sorority." "She's mentioned wanting to do this before." " Thank God for sororities." " I can get her." "And risk losing you both?" "You stay right here." " I'll go get Janet." " Her name's Janette." "Whatever." "Anyone seen a Gamma Psi named Janet?" "Well, the smooth waltz certainly has changed." "It may be an Austrian version." "Yeah, those knee slaps." "That's definitely Viennese." "What's the Hustle?" "That's a dance, right?" "We should totally do that!" "You know what?" "This is all your fault." "Mine?" "What did I do?" "Five minutes in your little den of iniquity and you've driven Kirk insane." "Who wants chimichangas?" "{\Oh, }That's smart." "With all his dancing, he brought an electrolyte infused sports drink" " to stay quenched." " Smell it." " It's rather pungent." " It's tequila!" "You know, maybe one of your KT bros planted it on him." "Dale, will you face the facts?" "Kirk is wasted." "He drinks and he smokes pot and God knows what else!" " You're making up lies." " You're completely blind." " You wanna take this outside, cowboy?" " We're already outside." " Good." " Break it up, boys." "Is that an open container of alcohol?" "It's OK." "I'll handle this." "I'll handle this." " Kirk." " Got it." "Let's see some Ids." "You don't need to see their Ids." " Chrissy, I found Janet!" " Janette." "Whatever." " Hey, she... she's gone." " Yes, but I'm not." "No, but we should find Chrissy." "Oh, she's probably just grabbing a drink." "Did you hear a knock on the door?" "Was that us?" "Fine, you big baby." "I'll find Chrissy and we'll do your damn threesome." "Thank you." "Just come and knock on my door when you get back." "You know, Kirk," "I think we just gotta look on the bright side here." "'Cause now you can get clean and sober before school starts." "We won't miss a day being roommates." "We'll never watch the E!" "Channel again." "'Cause it is full of temptation." "You know, with all the aging trollops and, anyway, and then me and the other PP brothers can come down to rehab over the summer, next year we can all sing the praises of restraint and abstinence together." "Dale!" "Dale!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Don't you get it?" "I've changed." "I don't want to be Mr. Goody-two-shoes anymore." "I don't want to be your roommate and I don't want to be your friend." "I can manage my own friendships." "I'm not trying to tell you how to manage your friendships." "I just want to tell this guy that he's a douche and he's an idiot and you have no idea who you're turning your back on." "You don't!" "Turnkey!" "When're we getting sprung from this godforsaken hellhole?" "Right now." "Kettlewell and Cartwright?" "You're clean and free to go." "You have a stupid name." "Well, the guys made it." "My lemon drop and I are happy for you." "I do wish you luck, however" "Why?" "We got the Omega Chis." "All I had to do was ask Frannie for a little help." "There's no asking Frannie for a little anything." "Case, it's time to make peace and move on." "Wars aren't over when one side stops fighting." "Look around." "Frannie's the hero." "{\Maybe }If she's feeling generous she'll give you back the silver platter you served us up on." "So, now it's all my fault Frannie's in charge?" "No, it's much worse than that." "Since we base our entire identity as a house on the Omega Chis, it's our fault that the new president of Zeta Beta Zeta is Evan Chambers." "I'm going home." "Who's ready for round two?" "Round two?" "What?" "We..." "We didn't..." "You, um..." "These two crazy girls hooked up with Jeremy in our room last night." "And every extra bed was taken." "So we bunked here." "Uncomfortable moment averted." " We didn't have round one, did we?" " No." " Of course not." " Never." " Definitely not." " Probably not." "Excellent." "Breakfast?" "Nice pajamas, Beav." "Thank you." "They floated down from the sky." "The cotton's really lightweight." "Little itchy, though." "Hey Ashleigh," " I wanted to tell you that..." " Big news!" "Evan just called, and the Omega Chis are inviting us to Pref tonight." "Looks like it worked, Frannie." "Before we all get excited about the Omega Chis," "I've already asked the Lambda Sigs to come by so we can accept their invite to Fraternity Pref." "The Lambda Sigs?" "You've got to be kidding." "They're the number two house on campus." "Sure, now." "But maybe by Preffing with us, they'll become number one." "Yeah, that's not how it works." "The Omega Chis are number one." "Really?" "Well, not according to a girlfriend of mine." "See, my friend is the one who dictates who's cool." "What?" "Nope, it's not Casey." "You see, this friend has never cared what other people thought of her." "And you know what?" "Everyone fell in love with her for it." "And she lived where?" "Fantasyland?" "I don't think Fantasyland would've had her, Frannie." "See, she spent years with a vial of blood around her neck, and during the biggest night of her life she made out with her own brother." "Great, OK, so she's a freak too." "Why don't we rush her right after we get done pairing up with the Lamda Sigs?" "No, we're not going to rush her, because she... is Angelina Jolie." "Ashleigh's friend with Angelina Jolie?" "No, I think she's an analogy." "I thought she was an actress." "See, after Angelina ditched Billy Bob, she stopped letting guys define her." "She got cool, all on her own." "And it's not because she's with Brad Pitt." "Even though it doesn't hurt." "The fact is, we can be like Angelina." "We can be unique and cool and crazy and weird and generous and totally gorgeous too." "Ashleigh, now's not exactly the time for an us Weeklyrecap." "I want to know... why we're letting a bunch of guys define us?" "We'll choose what's awesome and who's cool and we'll choose who's number one." "We can have it all, because we can be Angelina Jolie, too!" "Brothers in our garden true" "Forever in unity" "Omega Chi, here we are" "Hello, guys, hi." "I'm Betsy, for those of you who don't know me." "I'm the new social chair." "Hi, Betsy." "So, we really appreciate your invitation to Pref next year." "But we've voted and we're going to turn you down." "Oh, and it's because of Angelina Jolie." "Angelina Jolie is a ZBZ?" "Dale, wait." "Why won't you talk to me?" "I'm getting used to the sound of my own company." " Come on." "Seriously." " No, 'cause you were right about Kirk." "I didn't want to see it." "You were right, too." "I didn't {\want to }think anything would be different when we're not roommates anymore." "But it will be." "Yeah, I know, hence my embrace of solitude and reinforcement of personal space." "I'm not going to disappear, or turn into a drug addict." "You still up for a trip to that roof?" "What about your respect for law and country?" "Come on, man, we've already done hard time." "What's the worst that can happen now, huh?" "I was just thinking the same thing." " We should do something." " Yeah." " Something dramatic." " OK, OK." "Let's sing the school fight song." "All right." "You ready?" "Two, three, four." "Far above the hills and valleys..." "What are you doing?" "These look like hills?" "These are mountains." "We should put "learn the CRU fight song"" "on our list of things to do before we move out." "Let's just... let's just put it on our list of things to do together next year." "Let me get that, Madame President." "I'd feel better if we'd won the decision to turn down the Omega Chis by more than three votes." "Well, you won the presidency by one vote." "Now you're up by three." "It just means you're making progress." "It's going to be a little scary, not being able to rely on the Omega Chis." "Ash, you're my president." "And my best friend." "I want to help." "Sometime's it's hard when things change and you don't want them to." "But you're OK with it?" "More than I was last week." "It's going to take a little time." "But I promise I'll be OK." "Eventually." "Calvin Owens!" "Hell Week, buddy." "Let's go." "Awkward." "Come on, let's go, let's go." "Get up, Calvin, let's go!" "Come on!" "Kirk?" "Is that you?" "Two things, Pledge." "First of all, when you're wearing pantyhose on your head, never wear control top." "Second of all, welcome to Hell Week." "Your ass is mine!" "Get him out of here" "Hey, Chip." "Hey, Dale."