"_" "Now, listen, I'm all in on Ginny Baker." "I think it's the biggest sports story since O.J., and hopefully has a happier ending, but comparing this girl to Jackie Robinson is preposterous." "We're going another way." "If you want to say she's only getting her shot because she's a woman, go ahead, but let's be real." "If you're saying that, you're a man." "You're a backwards-thinking, backwards-cap-wearing, male-pattern-baldness-hiding man." "So, bitch and moan all you want, gentlemen, but tonight, a girl's gonna be the lead sports story in the world." "And if that upsets you, well, maybe you're just getting your period." "Go get 'em, Ginny!" "Sorry." "Go, girl!" "Well, unless you've been under a rock for the past 48 hours, you know that the San Diego Padres have called up Ginny Baker to start today against the Los Angeles Dodgers." "Baker becomes the first female athlete to compete in any of the four major" "North American professional sports leagues." "This after a five-year journey through the Padres system, and it marks a day that many, quite frankly, doubted would ever come." "This is clearly a momentous occasion in the history of the sport." "For those of you that may have been alive when Jackie Robinson made his debut, this may take you back to that." "But for the rest of us," " it really illustrates..." " You're like Elvis." "You're like Elvis." "I'm El... uh, I'm Eliot." "I work with Amelia." "She thought I could help manage your social media accounts, maybe get you set up on Insta..." "This is a story that should inspire both..." "Game day." "Don't take it personal." "Hey, Joe?" "It's Joe, right?" " Yes, ma'am." " Who's the most important person" " you've ever driven?" " Well, back in the early '90s," " I once drove..." " Wrong answer, Joe." "The most important person you've ever driven is the 23-year-old sitting right next to me." "It's just a two-minute drive to the stadium." "Please stop at stop signs and watch your blind spots." " We screw up nothing today." " Copy that." "Who'd you drive, early '90s?" "Michael Jackson." " Very cool." " He even said he liked my tie." " Well, actually, he..." " Okay, Joe, that's enough." "But what do we know about Ginny Baker as an actual, you know, Major League pitcher?" "Well, she's no power arm, Matt." "She tops out in the high 80s, which has gotten a lot of attention, but it's still low by Major League standards." "She does have an arsenal of pitches, though, including that nasty screwball." "Hey." "You know the drill, G." "Nothing you haven't seen before." "Maybe just on a slightly bigger scale." "Oh, my God." "Are you ready for this?" "I've been ready my whole life." "_" "Right." "No, back up a little." "Open your legs." "Open your legs." "Yeah, that's right." "Bend your knees." "Okay, you ready?" "Here comes the high, hard one." "Here we go." "What..." "For God's sake, get back in there." " No way." " Willie!" "Bill, he doesn't want to play." "I'm trying to raise a ballplayer here, Janet." "Leave him alone." "That's right, little girl." "That's a ball." "Throw it to Papa." "Throw it, just like this." "Real hard, right here." "I'll be damned." "There she is!" "Ginny!" " Ginny, hi." " Hi." "Oscar Arguella, Padres GM." "Stay with me." "Fans started lining up the moment the call-up was announced." "Web site crashed within minutes." "Our nerds had no idea what hit them." "Hell of a thing you're doing, young lady." "You nervous?" " No, not really." " Makes one of us." "Come on, boss is waiting for you." "Ginny, welcome." "Hope the trip in was okay." "I was going to send my plane, but Oscar tells me that you like to be treated regularly, and while my plane is most certainly cool as hell, regular it is not." "Walk with me." " Your teammates are excited to meet you." " No, they're not." "Ticketing and sales people, they're excited to meet me." "My teammates, 75% think I'm the next San Diego Chicken." "The other 25% just want to see me shower." "And I bet your manager thinks you should've called up Walker instead of me." "I'm just here because of all that." "But none of that matters, you know why?" "No, but color me intrigued." "Because today, I'm the starting pitcher for the San Diego Padres." "Well, damn it, Oscar, you see that?" "You should've let me send her the plane." "She's on her way down." "Look, we can lie to the reporters all we want, but obviously this is a distraction." "There's no way around it." "I had to buy tickets for my freakin' mother-in-law today." "Oh, that reminds me, if you see her in the stands, please say hi." "She's the one with the face that looks like Shrek." "No offense, Shrek." "It's 2016, gentlemen." "So let's be gentlemen." "Let's be professional." "Remember, this is a spot starter called up from Triple A to start a game for us." "We're gonna treat her like any other player." "No special treatment." "Knock, knock." "Oh, crap." "Ginny Baker." "Get your big old bubble butt over here" " and give me a hug!" " Blip!" "I came up through the system with this girl." "We did almost a full season together in San Antonio." "What was that, like, three years back now?" "Yeah, that's right." "Until you got promoted, became an All-Star, and permanently abandoned my ass." "You know, as much as I loved living off of ramen noodles," " the wife had other plans." " I bet she did." "She spends everything, Ginny." "So where they setting you up?" "This is the clubhouse attendance room, but at least it has a door." "This is not gonna be permanent, I'm telling you that right now." "Sorry, who is this complete stranger in my clubhouse" " pretending to be my boss?" " We still haven't met, probably because I don't represent lifetime 500 managers with man boobs." " Oscar?" " Amelia." " Al." " Everyone." "This is fine, Skip." "I didn't see Mike Lawson back in there." "He likes to make a grand entrance." "Total diva." "I'd kill him, but he has this annoying habit of driving in 130 runs a year." "Why don't you check out what's in there?" "Forty-three?" "We thought it was fitting." "Ginny, Ginny." "How does this differ from Triple A?" "One or two more of you, maybe." "This was supposed to be a photo op, not a presser." " She'll be fine." " I know she'll be fine, Oscar." "I've been watching her navigate this crap for a year." "Frank, you must be pleased that Ginny's start is sold out tonight." " I'm ending this." " Amelia, relax." "She's not Nolan Ryan, she's a number five starter being called up for a spot start." "She's the number five starter that's been offered the cover of Time, Sports Illustrated, and Maxim in the same week." "I mean, you do realize what you have, Oscar, don't you?" "Because I do." "I put my entire client list on hold to represent a pitcher and I'd never even been to a baseball game." "I'm gonna lose Clooney and I don't care." "He invites me to Lake Como." "And I'm giving that up instantly and without hesitation." "Because this girl is Hillary Clinton with sex appeal." "She is a Kardashian with a skill set." "She's the most important woman on the planet right now, Oscar, and from here on out, everything goes through me." "Am I being clear?" "What's Clooney's place in Como like?" "It's exactly like San Diego, but a million times better." " From here on out." " You'll be in the loop." " Thank you." " Dinner?" "Never." "I'm pulling her." "You have no chance." "I've seen her make movie stars cry, won't say who." "Gerard Butler." "Last question." "Look what we got here." "Ginny Baker in the flesh." "I've been answering questions about you forever, and that is not easy for me, you know, talking about other people." "They tell me I'm a narcissist." "I should tell you, I have your rookie card." " You've been my favorite player since I was..." " Yeah, don't." "Makes you look stupid, makes me feel old." "Would it be inappropriate to say that you might be the second prettiest teammate I've ever had?" "It would." "What?" "Second prettiest?" "Yeah, I was in this charity softball game with DiCaprio." "Beautiful eyes." "Anyway, glad you're here." "We could use you." "Mind if we go over the hitters in the trainers' room?" "Fine by me." "Oh!" "Hey." "Think that's funny?" "Think you're the first teammate to slap my ass" " to get a laugh from his friends?" " No." "I played two years Winterball, five years in the minors." "I've done stints in hellholes you haven't seen in a decade, superstar." "Want to put on a show for your friends?" "Find another scene partner, I'm here to pitch." "Any questions?" "Hey." "Hey!" "I slap asses." "It's my thing." "I slap Zimmerman's pimply ass," "I slap Roger's hairy ass, and as long as you're on this team," "I will be slapping your perfect, pear-shaped ass." "I am an ass-slapper, rookie." "I'm also the captain of this team." "So from here on out, every time I slap your ass, you just say, "Thank you, sir." "May I have another?" and take the mound." "Do you have any questions?" "Young DiCaprio or old DiCaprio?" " I'm sorry?" " The charity game." "Young Leo, fine." "He's probably prettier than me." "But old Leo looks like a fish." "Well, that was... it was a while ago." "He was young." "Then I think we're on the same page, Captain." "This is gonna be fun." "The one guy, whew, he was ugly." "Woofie." "He should've got a medal just for leaving the house," " he was so ugly." " No, you're really..." "Come on, like one of those President's Medals for bravery." "So..." "How you doing?" "You know." "First time in the majors and all... same for everyone." "Ginny!" "Ginny!" "Ginny!" "Ginny!" " Ginny!" "Ginny!" " Hey." "I got you." " Thank you." " So, come on." "There's somebody that wants to see you." " I..." "Look at you!" " Over here." "Oh, my God!" " Girl!" " Look at me?" "Look at them!" " They're huge!" " They're special is what they are." "Boys, tell Ginny what your favorite food is." " Sushi!" " Sushi, Ginny." " Little black boys eating sushi." " Oh, be quiet." "Sign my ball!" "Ginny!" "Ginny!" "My ball, Ginny!" "Sign my ball!" "Ginny, Ginny!" "How y'all doing?" "I'm gonna be in the majors someday, too." "Well, hurry on up then, and maybe we can be teammates." "_" "_" "_" "How long has she been down there?" "You don't think she actually sticks, do you?" "She's just here to sell tickets." "Second I come back, she's gone." "What's your take, Mikey?" "I watched some tape on her last night, I was surprised." "Got more zip than Tommy, that's for sure." "Look at his face." "Look at his face!" "Come on, she's a gimmick." "She's the dwarf who played for the St. Louis Browns, right?" "She's gonna last a game, maybe two." "And then she's gonna be a nice little asterisk, and we'll have a great story to tell our grandkids." "Folks, you are looking at a moment in history." "23-year-old Ginny Baker is warming up in the San Diego Padres' bullpen in preparation for her first start in the Major Leagues." "Welcome, everybody, and hi to my daughters, who are actually watching their dad with great interest for this game." "All right, let me get in there." "Now, let's see this screwgie everybody's been talking about." "Well, I don't think it's possible to measure the impact this young woman could have" " on the game of baseball, Joe." " I agree with you." "Just to give you a little context for what's happening here, when Ginny's start was announced, the Padres quickly sold out," " and this afternoon..." " Not bad." "... there'll be an estimated 43,000 in the ballpark." "Last one." "Go to third!" " My kid wants a tryout." " Really?" "We're kind of in the middle of something..." " Just let her throw a few." " Really?" "Let her throw a few." "Okay, man, go ahead." "Trying a new pitcher." "You okay?" "We did it, Pop!" "We ain't done nothin' yet." "Peaches?" "Nectarines." "You're never gonna have the arm to get you to the majors." "You'll never get further than I did, minors at best." " But..." " A girl will never be able to throw hard enough to compete with boys, not as they start growing." "It's biology and we can't change that." "That's why we need a secret weapon." "End of my career, this old Latin guy showed me a pitch." "Was too late for me, but you're gonna learn it now." "You're gonna master it, little girl, and you're gonna ride it straight to the majors." "What is it?" "It's called a screwball." "Now, you form a circle with your thumb and your forefinger like this and then you spread your remaining fingers around the ball." "Now, the key is, when you throw it, you don't exert any pressure from these two fingers, okay?" "I don't want to see any dents in the nectarine from these fingers." "When you can throw 100 proper, then we'll try it with a real ball." "And there you have it." "For the first time in history, a woman has taken the mound in a Major League Baseball game." " Let's go, Ginny!" " Don't do that." "This is one of those moments in sports, John, where you'll remember where you were when you saw it." "Alex McCutchen will lead off." "And we are ready to go." "Whoa!" "That's all the way to the backstop." "Well, we got that out of our system, huh?" "Here's the wind and the pitch." " High again." " She's got the adrenaline going." "She needs to settle down." "Here's the 2-0 pitch." "This one's in the dirt." "Want me to go talk to her?" "Let's see what she does." "So Ginny Baker has walked the leadoff hitter on four pitches, and none of them were particularly close." "Lawson's heading out to the mound." "Come on, take a breath." " Give me the ball." " Take a minute." "Give me the damn ball." "Come on, Ginny, let 'em hit it." " The runner goes." " Baker delivers." "Oh, boy, the runner advances to third on the wild pitch, and this... there's no other way around it, this is getting really uncomfortable, John," " really, really quickly." " Yeah, you know she's nervous." "Ginny, Ginny, sign my ball, sign my ball!" "Let's go, Padres, let's go!" "Let's go, Padres, let's go!" "She's the dwarf who played for the St. Louis Browns." "Comparing this girl to Jackie Robinson..." "Ain't done nothin' yet." "Ball three, in the dirt again." "Ball four, she walked him." "Another wild pitch, and the run scores!" "Wow, that is ten consecutive balls and three wild pitches." "Not a good start." "Honestly, I don't know if I can watch this." "Get Zapata ready." " Paint the corner." " I'm cooked, Pop." " Mom says dinner." " And I said, "Paint the corner."" "I can't throw another strike." " Yes, you can." " I can't." "Willie, come here." " You want to help me help your sister?" " Yeah." "Dad!" "Throw a strike." "See?" "You can do it when you have to." "All right, let's wash up for dinner." "Come on, son." "You're okay." "I got some ice cream for dessert." "Mint chip like you like it." "I don't..." "I don't know what's happening." "I just..." "I..." "I can't... can't get right." "I just..." "Okay, okay." "Calm down." "We've seen this a billion times." "Get me out of the game." " I'm sorry, what?" " Get me out." "Oh, wow." "That's gonna be all for Baker." " And this big crowd is stunned." " Yeah, I feel for her." " I can't even find the words." " How about "heartbreaking"?" "I think that's a word." "Just heartbreaking." "Eliot, can I have a moment with Ginny, please?" "Yeah." "You know," "I don't even think that many people were watching this." "Maybe." "You know, it's just..." "Are they sending me down?" "No one has told me that." "Ginny." "Ginny, look at me." "Today was a bad day." "I'm not gonna sugarcoat it." " But all those little girls..." " The little girls need to find someone else to count on." "And you probably should, too." "I can't do this right now, Pop." " You have your glove?" " Please just leave me be." " What the hell was that today?" " I don't know." " What is your problem, girl?" " You are!" "I was just a little girl!" "I never asked for any of it!" "You chose it for me." "You did." "I have no friends, no interests!" "I'm a robot in cleats, and I'm malfunctioning." "It wasn't right what you did." "What you did to me." "You done?" "Where's your glove?" " I'm tired, Pop." " You threw ten pitches." "How tired can you be?" "I don't have my glove." "Where is it?" "Again." "Again." "Again." "Oscar." "The door was open." "No, it wasn't." "No, it wasn't." "Now, Oscar tells me that you want to send Ginny back down." "Oscar and I both agreed." "Clearly she's not ready." "Yeah, no, yesterday was a real disaster." "It was, yes." "She crushed my bullpen." "Those guys had to eat nine innings." "Frank and I have been talking, Al." "Have you, now?" "We can't send her down." "You got to be kidding me." "You're laying down on this just to sell a few extra tickets?" "Now, it's more than a few extra tickets, Al, and you know that." "But that's not what this is about, and you know that, too." "It's one thing to be the team that called up the first woman." "It's another thing to be the team that picked the wrong woman and turned this whole thing into a disaster." " Oscar, it's my ball club!" " No, Al, it's mine." "And I know this because I bought it, and I kept the $700 million receipt." "You're my manager, and you're a good one." "I have never overridden you before, and I hope never to have to do it again." "But Baker starts again in five days." "Don't worry." "I got your back, Skip." "Just give the kid another start, all right?" "I'll handle all the politics." "You just focus on being beautiful." "You got to be kidding me." "What is this, Bring Your Daughter to Work Day?" "This you?" "Came from upstairs." "This is a circus." "I'm way too old to be joining the circus." "Yeah, you and me both." " We can't win with her." " Hey, Tommy, last I checked, you were five and nine," " so we weren't exactly winning with you." " Was I talking to you, Blip?" "Hey, you know what," " you don't have to be talking to me..." " Shut up." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Okay, let's get back to work, everyone." "Well, the decision is in." "Ginny Baker will ride again, which I guess just shows..." "I don't know." "What the hell does this show?" "That if you can't throw the ball over the plate but you're really pretty, you get to play in the big leagues?" "Mike, there have been reports on some divided opinion" " on Ginny Baker in the clubhouse..." " Guys, can we please find something else to talk about?" "What if I told you that I've been secretly dating Adele and we're engaged?" "Would that do it?" "Because I am." "Seriously." "Me, Adele, Rihanna." "We bought an RV." "We're living together." "We're gonna go on tour." "Mike, will Ginny be ready to pitch in three days?" " People want to know." " Over here, Mike." "Right here." "Okay, so last week wasn't exactly the start we expected from Ginny Baker." "I'm still driving the bandwagon here, but... after that rough debut, let's hope it's a little better..." " Evelyn, I want to be alone." " No, you don't." "Are we ready to double down on Ginny Baker?" " Because I am..." " Oh, look at this." "Not sure." "This seems like a really good idea." "Better yet, why don't you pound your face with a hammer?" "Give me the remote." "Give!" "Gi... give it to me." "Thank you." "You think I haven't seen this?" "Hmm?" "You think I don't deal with this every time" "Blip runs into an oh-for April?" "That's when I got to get his head straight." "Now..." "I can't do for you what I normally do for him." "Haven't stretched enough for that, but I can... make Bloody Marys!" " Evelyn." " What?" "You should be home with your husband." "He's having boys' night." "With who?" "Why do you always drag me here?" "I like the food." " I'm sorry, can I just get one picture?" " Now don't be sorry." "Get in here." "It's happy hour." "You can get two." "Come on." "Oh, I like sandwiches." " There you go." " Thank you." "Yeah." "I'll just be over here." "She needs your help." "I'm gonna be helping the hell out of her in about an hour." "I'm not talking about her." "I know who you're talking about." "She walked." " She quit." " Yeah, but she's still here." "She's a fighter." "She's a fighter." "I'm a national laughingstock, Evelyn." "No, actually, check that." "I'm the national laughingstock." "Okay, we're done with this." "Can we talk girl stuff now?" "Please?" "I just..." "I..." "I've always wondered... do you get to see them naked in the locker room?" "Do you get to see the junk?" "You mean, like Mike Lawson's?" "Oh, half of San Diego's seen Mike Lawson's." "I know you want that ring." "Think you need it for the legacy, and you're not seeing the bigger picture." "And what's that, black Yoda?" "This girl is your legacy." "She's doing something that no one," "I repeat... no one has ever done before and she needs help." "Tomorrow night the entire world will be watching her." "But as luck will have it, the best that I've ever seen will be 60 feet and six inches away." "And..." "I don't know if he'll step up." "But I'm hopeful." "I'm hoping I'm going to be watching the nods, the gestures and the trips to the mound." "Man... what a beautiful thing that that would be." "Well, in the words of that great American poet," "Yogi Berra: "It's like déjÃ  vu all over again."" "Tonight, the eyes of a nation turn to San Diego once again, and I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I say," "I'm petrified." "Hello again, everybody, I'm Joe Buck." "And I'm John Smoltz." "Tonight should be very interesting." "State championship." "We did it, Pop." " We ain't done nothin' yet." " Excuse me." "My name's Joe Amazzo." "I'm a scout for the San Diego Padres." "Can I get a minute of your time?" "And there she is." "Jacket's coming off, towel in its proper place." "Perhaps a prayer or two." "When we come back, Ginny Baker takes the mound again." "All right, let's go!" "Well, if you thought Ginny Baker had the weight of the world on her shoulders in her last start, now she gets to take on the first-place Giants." "Here's the wind and the pitch." "Another delivery in the dirt." "Joe, I really can't take this again." "I'm gonna go home." "Can I just go home?" "You have to stay here." "Don't leave me alone for this." "It's getting a little repetitive, don't you think?" "Yeah, I suppose this is the part of the movie where I give the great speech that saves the day." "Yeah." "Been trying to think about which speech to pull out for the occasion." "I mean," "Lord knows I've had a lot of time to think about it lately." "Taking those long walks to the backstop to pick up your wild pitches." " Come on, Mike, let's keep it moving." " Sam," "I need a moment." "You're my favorite." "You always have been." "He's not my favorite." "Where were we?" "Your speech." "Okay." "Here's what I got." "I've been watching you this past week, Baker." "Seems like you've got a lot of people telling you who you're doing this for, and I wonder if it's not about time you start doing this for yourself." "Just you." "Screw all the attention." "And you know what?" "Screw all those adorable little girls in the crowd with their Ginny Baker signs." "'Cause you're not a Girl Scout leader, rookie." "You're a ballplayer." "You do this for you, you do this for your team, or you don't do it at all." "'Cause you can't aim your pitches if you're aiming to please everyone." "I literally just came up with that on the spot, I mean," ""Aim your pitches, aim to please"?" "Damn, I'm good." "I really could be in movies." "Got to go." "You know, people are gonna start talking." "It's kind of getting awkward now." "Hey." "Mic drop." "Here's a 2-0 pitch." "It's a perfect strike." "Right down the middle of the plate." " Right down Broadway." " She needed that." "Grounder to short." "Hannon up with it." "One away." "And Ginny Baker has recorded her first out" " in the Major League." " Sometimes that's the toughest one to get." "Two on, two out here in the third, a run in." "Called!" "Strike three." "Wow." "Uh-oh, this could be trouble." "Sanders... what a catch!" "After four innings," "Padres, three, and the Giants, two." "You know, people sometimes tell me I'm like a Latino Gerard Butler." "I'm sorry, but, if I'm not mistaken, Mr. Arguella," " you are a married man." " Actually, I'm separated." "But it's nice to know that you've been checking up on me." "All right, here it is, 4-3 Padres, bases loaded one out, and a full-count on the Giants' slugger." "This is tough." "Baker's thrown Shiazzo two straight screwballs." "There's nowhere to put him, you know he's thinking fastball." "And the payoff pitch." "Stayed with the screwball." "That takes guts." "Wow." "Ball four, she walked him." "And here comes Al." "And that may be all for Ginny Baker, with the lefty Morris coming up." "Six and a third, eight hits, three runs, five strikeouts." "You know, if the bullpen holds this lead, she'll get the win." "What a gutty performance." "And off her last start, it might as well" " have been a no-hitter, Joe." " I can get out of it." "She's done." " I said I can go another." " And I decided otherwise." "And I'm still the skipper here, am I not, Baker?" " Yes, sir." " Because there's been some confusion about that lately." "And as long as you're gonna be sticking around," "I'd like some order restored in my damn clubhouse." "Good job, rook." "We'll take it from here." "Go take your bow." "She doesn't like the ass-slapping." "Good to know." "Just listen to this crowd." "Welcome to the big leagues, Ginny." "We've been waiting for you." "Whatever." "Nice win, Pitch." "Thanks, Tommy." "Enjoy your moment in the sun." "'Cause there's 29 pro teams as we speak figuring out that little trick pitch of yours, and when they do, I'll get my job back and you'll become the answer to a trivia question." "Okay." "Bitch." "Hey, Tommy, who's the bitch, huh?" " Why don't you say it to my face?" " Hey, walk away." " Stay out of this, Sanders." " Walk away." " Walk away." " Why do I get the feeling you've tapped that ass?" "Cut it out!" "Come on, Tommy!" "Okay, yeah." "No, I'm on top of it, thank you." "So there I am, pouring myself a glass of an absurdly expensive Scotch, celebrating one of the biggest nights of my life, when I get a call from a reporter asking for a comment" " on the post-game brawl." " I was just about to call you..." "We got something here, Oscar." "We have ourselves a moment." "Yes, we do." "Now, I know you love Al." " Yes, I do." " He's a good manager, but the world changed tonight, Oscar, and I'm not convinced that he's the man to take us into the new one." "He's lost control of the team." "Well, what are you gonna do?" "What am I gonna do?" "I'm going to return to my office and drink my absurdly expensive Scotch." "But you, my friend, you are going to get me... a short list." "The San Diego Padres." "Yup." " The majors." " The minors." "We did it, Pop." "Pop, come on." "Dad?" "Dad!" "That's confirmed, one fatality." "Again." "Again." "We did it, Pop." "We ain't done nothin' yet."