"Greetings." "Please have a seat." "In our country, we have people from many different caste and creed..." "Hindu, Muslim, Catholic, Jain, Parsi and..." "Sikh" "Courageous, generous, fearless, big-headed... cheerful and true patriots." "This is the story of two Sikh friends." "Who used to live in Patiala, Punjab." "If there was one thing they owed their fame to:" "It was their attitude." "Well, yes!" "He used to become innocent, childlike, jolly." "To such an extent, that no opponent ever got suspicious of them and they would vvin the war right under his nose!" "So, now, let's enter the wonderful World of Santa and Banta." ""Ladies and gentlemen!"" ""This is the story of Santeshwar Singh Sollad."" ""And Banteshwar Singh Bollad."" ""Better known as Santa and Banta."" ""No melody, no beat, no walk or style."" ""No looks or dough, they are both broke."" ""They want to live like this." "No sweat, no work."" ""They want to live like this." "No sweat, no work."" ""They march to their ovvn beat." "The World can take care of itself."" ""The World can take care of itself."" ""Go for it."" " It's pariridges or quails?"" ""Santa and Banta."" ""Santa and Banta." "Here come Santa and Banta."" ""Santa and Banta."" ""Santa and Banta." "Here come Santa and Banta."" ""They have come along."" ""They have come along."" ""They have come along."" ""The corpses rise from their grave, when they see them arrive."" ""They come second in the race even if they run alone."" ""They are a burden." " Santa!" " They eat way too much." " Banta!"" ""They are a burden." " Santa!" " They eat way too much." " Banta!"" ""They march to their ovvn beat." "The World can take care of itself."" ""The World can take care of itself."" ""So it's..."" ""Santa and Banta."" ""Santa and Banta." "Here they come."" ""They are the desi boys."" ""They are the crazy boys."" ""Santa and Banta."" ""Santa and Banta." "Here they come."" ""Get ready!"" ""Control yourself, buddy!" "Oh, the cash!"" "Hi, how was your day?" "OkBY" "Position A, please respond." "Why are you still awake?" "You're on, Akbar." " Yes, sir." "It's difficult to say anything right now, sir." "There was no threat, no ransom call." "Neither did he have any personal feud with anyone." "I went to Mr. Shankaﬁs house personally, sir." "I met his wife, Ms. Kareena and his best pal, Mr. Sonu Sultan." "Sir, Mr. Shankaﬁs kidnapping can be linked to people invo|ved in the investigation being conducted on him." "What kind of investigation?" " Oh, no, it's..." "Akbar?" "What kind of investigation?" " Yes, sir?" "There is an offshore shipping company called Royal Marine and Mr. Shankar had some evidence against it." "I'm sure some influential people are using this company as a front for illegal business." "Their identities will be revealed, very soon." "He believed, the company used the shipping business as a front whi|e concluding illegal businesses at the back, sir." "Yes, sir." "And I wish to say..." "Hello?" "Hello!" "Oh, no!" "Hanumant." " Sir." "Keep this case top secret." " Sir." "Send for the list from the IB." "And send our top agents there, at once." "Absolutely." "Why did this have to happen just in time for the elections?" ""Neither the will to live, nor the fear of death."" ""The mobile you are trying is currently off."" "I told you to come to my cabin, at once, right?" "People could have gotten here from overseas, in that time." "Sir, I got a call." "A call?" "Which call could be more impodant than my call?" "Nature's call, sir." "I went to the washroom." "You can't give a senior immature answers." "Do you know what a senior means?" " I do, sir." "A senior is a senior and a junior is a junior." "A senior keeps talking, while a junior keeps listening." "A senior issues orders, which the junior follows." "The senior sits, while the junior stands." " Enough!" "I didn't ask you to give a lecture about seniors." "The agents list was to arrive from the IB." "What about it?" "Sir, the agents' list is here." "Yes." "Good." "Thank you." "Jai, Veeru." "Who is Jai and Veeru?" "They have many aliases." "They change names depending on the missions." "Jai-Veeru, aka, Jantar-Manta, aka Tikka Mikka, aka Sheila Munni." "Aka, Santa Banta." "Also known as?" " That was the last alias." "They are going by these names at the moment." "Locate them both, at once." "Go on." "No, make me stay." "Have another go at it." "What is it?" "Why don't you leave?" "You talk too much!" "Jai Veeru, aka, Santa Banta." ""Be it London or America."" ""Italy or Africa."" ""We are famous all over."" ""They know what we can do."" ""Be it London or America." "Italy or Africa."" ""We are famous all over." "They know what we can do."" ""Here, there, everywhere."" ""The beats of our drum, echo everywhere."" ""The flute plays..."" ""The flute plays, Santa plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "Santa plays the flute, Banta plays the flute."" ""Santa Banta!" "The Jats play their flute."" ""Everywhere." "Santa plays the flute."" ""Banta plays the flute."" ""The best of pals, the best men amongst the Sikhs."" ""Every kid knows them, how can you not know them?"" ""No matter where they go, they rock the place."" ""The flute plays..."" ""When it's 7 pm, the tables are set out.'."" ""We don't sip a few drinks, we empty the bottle."" ""When the liquor hits, when we are totally drunk we go to the disco and shoo everyone away."" ""We dance like Michael Jackson and we rock the world!"" ""The flute plays." "Santa plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "The flute plays, Banta plays the flute."" ""Santa and Banta." "Santa plays the flute, Banta plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "The flute plays." "Banta plays the flute."" ""Santa and Banta."" ""They are cute, handsome and we think, they're gorgeous."" ""They get our vote for |ove."" ""They are smad and gorgeous." "They are so cool!"" ""Everywhere." "Santa and Banta."" ""The girls like us and fight over us."" ""They invite us to all their pariies."" ""Every girl's parents are ready to marry them to us."" ""Whenever Santa passes by, Billoo opens her window."" ""The flute plays." "Santa plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "The flute plays." "Banta plays the flute."" ""Santa and Banta." - "Santa plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "The flute plays." "Santa plays the flute."" ""Santa plays the flute."" ""Santa and Banta." - "Santa plays the flute."" "Hey, that's a thousand rupee note!" " Hey!" "Banta!" "I saw it first." "No, that's wrong!" "I saw it first." "I saw it first." "Okay, fine." "Let's split it, fifty fifty." "Done." "So, that's a hundred... mwhat about the remaining?" "Right, buddy." "Oh, Mr. Balbir!" "Bante!" "It's Mr. Ballu, the police officer." "So, the wedding is in your family?" "Oh, no!" "So, you rascals are here, too?" "Come on, get going." "Get out of here." "Don't push us around." "We are your friends." " Yes." "What?" "My guests?" "You can't pile on at my party, just like that!" "Who are you?" "What do you think, you are worih?" "All you can do is gatecrash weddings and eat for free." "You bathe at the lake and sleep in your truck." "I tell you, Billoo did the right thing." "She left you and went away, Santa!" "If she hadn't left you, you would have made her live like you." "She was spared, poor girl!" "Banta, I am going to tell her, today." "Hello." "I loves you." "Insolent man!" "What did you say?" "Come on!" "Why did you hit me, when you didn't hear me?" "Someone reminded me of you." " Oh." "He shook my mind up." "Another one." "Go ahead, buddy." "I'm listening." "Another drink, not another verse." "I thought, you meant the verse." "Banta." " Tell me." "What Mr. Ballu said..." "He shouldn't have said it." " He shou|d've said it, earlier!" "I'm glad Billoo left me and went away." "I deserve it." "I am a burden on the earih." "Another one!" "Finish this drink first, buddy." "Another verse, not another drink!" "Let's hear it, buddy." "I'm listening." "Listen to this." " Yes." "Forget the preamble, just listen to it, directly." "Another one." " How about the first verse, first?" "Another drink, not a verse!" "Billoo, you're so cunning, my darling." "Hey, you!" "Zip it." "Can I say something, buddy?" "That human road roller, Balbir has brutally grazed the tractor that is your heart." "He wanted to put the brakes on your honor and he did it!" "Honor?" " That's it." "What honor are you talking about, Banta?" "People ridicule us!" "They laugh about us!" "Buddy their dull lives become a little brighter by laughing at us, right?" "That's why, God made us." "Yes?" "That line is worih a million rupees, Banta!" "It's worih a million rupees!" " Really?" "Today |et's swear..." "No, buddy." "No Weird pledges." "You can't give up the liquor." "Who said anything about quitting drinking?" "Let's swear." "Watch it, get up carefully." "Don't fall down." "Buddy, why do we have to leave the bed?" "From today, we stad working hard." "We do?" " Yes." "We will earn an honest living." "Don't get into honesty." "Let's just make a living." "No!" "We will earn an honest living." " Okay, fine." "We will!" "No more loans!" " No more!" "No wasting time." " No more!" "Staﬂ working!" " Let's start" "That's it." " Awesome!" "You've cleaned up your act, right in time, Santa and Banta." "You need work and I need people who will work for me." "Amazing, buddy!" "Before God could hear us, Mr. Jeetu heard us." "Mr. Jeetu, tell us." "What's to be done?" "Can you do it?" "Or are you drunk?" "We use this amount of liquor to rinse out our mouths, daily." "Alright, then." "My driver and navigator didn't come today." "I have to get some goods to the truck stand by the riverbank." "The goods are in the truck and it's right there." ""Let's fall in |ove!"" "B uddy." " Yes?" "Your grandpa was a truck driver, too." "Right?" "That's it!" "He was a hunter." "And he Wasn't an ordinary hunter." "He didn't hunt birds or anything." "He was a big game hunter!" "What are you talking about?" " You bet!" "Once, he wanted to hunt at midnight." " Okay." "He took up his gun and set off." " What happened?" "There was a dangerous turn up ahead." " Then what?" "He turned, what else?" " What?" "Then came a tiger." "A really huge one." "Then, what?" " The tiger glared at grandpa." "Grandpa glared at the tiger." " Then what?" "Red eyed..." " The tiger." "No, grandpa was red eyed!" " What?" "He lifted the gun." " The tiger?" " No, grandpa did!" "Then, what?" " He took aim." "Grandpa did?" " No, the tiger did that!" "Then, what?" " He lifted his tail!" "Who did?" " The tiger did!" "Then what?" " He jumped!" "Grandpa jumped!" " No, the tiger jumped!" "Then what?" " Then what?" "It was a real tiger, he ate grandpa up!" "We still have a veneration on his death anniversary." "Buddy, the police!" "We told the police, too." "But, the tiger never got caught." "Look at the police, there." "Stop the truck." " Oh, no!" "Is that Balbir?" "Sir, you were right." "Jai and Veeru did come here about a case, two months ago." "But, now we don't have any news of them." "We have asked at the nearby police outposts." "So far, there is no information about them." "OkBY" "They are really strange people." "I have made a lot of calls, but there is no response." "Even James Bond can be found on a beach in briefs, after a mission." "And look at these two?" "Sir, you have to listen." "This is Mr. Jeetu's truck." "We got caught, trying to earn an honest living." "You don't seem to recognize your childhood buddies!" "Why are you dragging us to the police station?" "One moment." " Sir!" "What did you say the name was?" "My name is Santeshwar Singh Sollad, in shod Santa." "Banta, tell him your name." " Banta." "I mean, Banteshwar Singh Bullad." "Santa Banta." "What did they do?" "We didn't do anything..." " Keep quiet, you!" "Sir, they were caught transporiing adulterated liquor." "Besides, you can see that they are drunk out of their minds." "They don't have driving licenses or documents for the truck." "Anyway, just forget about them, I'll handle them." "This is normal in Punjab..." " Okay." "Is it you?" " Absolutely." "Where were you, since so long?" "Right here, where else?" " Here." "ID cards." " What?" "ID cards?" " My ID card?" "Show him your papers." "They'll do, if I can't find the real guys." "Novv, you'll see how I'm going to get you into trouble." "I need to talk to you." "OkBY" "Oh..." "Yes." "What?" " Yes." "Are you asking us or telling us?" "I'm telling you." "Both of you have to go abroad." "And you have to try to find a man." "His name is Shankar." "He's the Indian High Commissioner." "What's that, again?" " The ambassador." "Oh, it's a car?" "It's a designation!" "Like a minister!" "Someone kidnapped him." "So, we have to get him back home, safe." "Do you guys have any kind of experience?" "I'm not married." "But, the teacher next door had two daughters so, I did pick up some experience there." "You fool, I am asking you about something else!" "You said, you're telling us something." "I was telling you, now, I am asking." "So, go ahead." " I did ask you." "You told us, what did you ask us?" "Okay." "Novv, I'm asking, that have you ever searched for something?" "Oh, come on!" "Mr. JassPs hen was lost." "Who found her?" " We did!" "Mr. Ba||u's dog got lost in the sugarcane field." "Who found him?" " We did!" "Once, we were playing hide and seek in January." "We were found at the harvest in April, when the crops were cut." "Great." " Thanks." "Mention not." "Very nice." "Do you have any family?" "Don't remind us of our parents." "We lost them at the fair." "Not us." "Our parents got lost." "You will meet a man from my depariment there, called Akbar." "He's going to say, "Go on, and hide in the mouse ho|e."" "And you have to respond |ook, here come your guards." "Are you sending us to find someone or play at singing charades?" "Will you go there, or go to prison?" "Don't scare the little boy." "Do you know, what's the sentence for the stunt you pulled today?" "Th ree years." "In separate cells!" "You won't be able to see each other's face!" "Say something, buddy." "I'm going to die..." " Okay." "What are you saying?" "What will I do, if you die?" "Listen, do whatever you have to fast, I'm on a ticking clock, here." "What disease are you suffering from, sir?" "I don't have time to listen to nonsense." "Listen, I am going to give you some impodant details, okay?" "Possibly, my boss will call you." "You have to repeat all of that to him." "Is that okay?" "Do you understand?" "I don't get it." " Be quiet." "What are you muttering about?" "Say yes, or no!" "Why are you saying that?" "Of course, it's yes." "One job!" "I tell you to do one job and you can't do it right." "Sir, I am working on your orders and looking for Santa Banta." "And you didn't find them." " No, sir." "I found them." "What?" "You've found Santa and Banta?" " Yes, sir." "And you're still sitting there?" "You should be here with them." "Sir, I should be with you, but We're so far away if I bring them to you, it will take me two days." "So, I figured, I'd send them off from here." "Let me speak to them at once." " Okay." "He's calling us." "Let's go." "Sir, but, they are really jovial." "I mean... here you are." "Talk to them." "It's my boss." "Talk to him." "Hello?" "Good day to you!" "Good day." "Listen, Santa and Banta." "I wanted to meet you personally." "But, since there is no time, I can't do that." "And this being a high profile case..." "I would like to ask both of you some questions." "What was your last operation about?" "It Wasn't needed." "It was just a heat boil, which I burst." "The wound has healed..." " What are you doing?" "Operation Gold in London." "Yes, Operation Gold In London." "It vanished like a heat boil." "Good, good." "And Pattaya?" "I did that, once, but Billoo left me and went away." "Operation Pattaya!" "Yes, Operation Pattaya." "They were holed up in a hideout." "We got rid of the traitors of the country." "What can you tell me about Mission Turkey?" "Well, mostly the womanizing staris after you are foriy." "How old are you?" "Operation Turkey!" "It's not about womanizing!" "We found foriy trucks on Mission Turkey." "Good, good." "Get going, at once." "The depariment and I wish you both the very best." "Cheers." "Cheers, for nothing?" "Finish the mission and We'll drink to that, too!" "Good luck, agents." "Give the phone to Arvind." "Who's Arvind?" "Give it to me!" "I'm Arvind." "Let's go." " You didn't tell us where we have to go." "I told you." "Abroad." "Where is abroad, buddy?" "Canada!" " Oh, Canada!" "Canada isn't abroad!" "You're going to Fiji." "I have heard of Bauji (dad) and Beeji (mom)." "Where's Fiji?" "How are we going to speak to people there?" "We'll use our mouths, what do you think?" "Thank you!" "Oh, my God!" " You're welcome." "Amazing!" " Awesome!" "Look at this!" "People look like ants from a plane." "See?" "Those are ants." "The plane hasn't taken off." "Sit." "Sir, sit down." "The plane is about to take off." "It's okay." "We can turn it on, in case it goes off." "We have turned on trucks, scooters." "Sonny, take off means it's going to fly." "Oh!" " Sit." "Sorry." "Sir, please fasten your belts." "Belts?" "Why?" "We have drawstrings, not belts." "It's okay." "Fetch the belt." "We'll tie it over the drawstring." "Sir, not that." "These are the seatbelts." "Me too." " Yes." "Thank you." " Have a safe flight." "This is fun!" " What a nice girl!" "Hey, you focus on Billoo." "Today, we are politicians too." " How come?" "We are travelling by plane for free, too!" "Okay, thank you." "Buddy!" " Banta, we are in Fiji!" "It's really lovely." "But, there is no one here." "There he is." "Go ahead and hide in your hideout." "Are you mad?" " Yes." "Mad in India." "What did he say?" "Banta, Dev Anand from Fiji." "Go ahead and hide in your hideout." "See, your guards are here." "Hello." "Silence." " Okay." "Myself Akbar Allahabadi." "Hello." " From India." "Waiting for Mr. Baba Samdev." " Let's go." "Who arrives..." " It's the TV crews!" "When will we appear on TV?" " Right now!" "Hello!" "I am Santa Singh, from India by plane on a secret mission." "And this is Banta Singh." "Banta, tell them your name." "What's your mission?" "Roll cameras." "My name is Banta." "The name of the Lord is blessed..." " What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "Go away." "They're with me." "Come on, if you want to be on TV, too!" " I mean..." "What are you doing?" "Let's go." "They landed up even when my aunt died." "What is wrong with you?" "You're on a secret mission." "The media is here to cover Baba Samdev." "He's hereto buy the island." " Sorry." "We made a mistake." "It's okay, it's human to err." "Let's go." "Sorry!" " Let's go!" "Oh, Lord!" "It's an impeded tractor!" "No!" "It's a bike, not a tractor." "It for both of you." " A bike?" "Ready?" " Sir." "Guests from India, darling." " Bhoola (forgot in Hindi)." "What did you forget?" "It's okay, you can remember." "It happens." " No, it doesn't." "When you meet someone in Fiji, you say that." "Bhoola!" "Bhoola!" " Bhoola." "Bhoola!" " Bhoola!" "Bhoola!" " Bhoola!" "I'm going to sit in this." " Yes." "Hey, get back there." "Bhoola." "Sir." " Yes?" "Go on, someone is waiting for you at the hotel." "I'll see you there." "Bhoola!" " All the best!" "Bhoola!" "No one knows who they are." "Two secret agents, Santa and Banta have arrived from India." "What fell?" " You're a fallen man." "I'm not a fallen man." "I was tripped." "Santa Banta did that to me." "What is he doing here?" "I sat down, since the chair was empty." "If you find a vacant pyre, would you lie down on it?" "This is wrong." "We demand respect." "Don't I command any respect?" "That's why, he got UP!" "This is respect?" " Yes." "Is he showing respect or being downright rude?" "Okay, Bater." " Tell me." "Tell me?" "Is that how you show some respect to your boss?" "Are you talking to me, or commanding me?" "Sorry, boss!" "Tell me." "I want to ask you who is the biggest don in Fiji, till now?" "Who is it?" " Who is it?" "That's what I am asking you." "Who is the greatest don in Fiji, at the moment?" "Tell us, who it is, brother-in-Iaw!" "I'm going to spank you!" "Right now, I am the greatest don in Fiji." "And Santa Banta have come to nab me!" "I know that." "Why would they want to nab you?" "That's what I am talking about!" "The cops of 40 countries aren't chasing me, why are they?" "Be quiet." "No mischief." "Before they land up here, get to them." "Okay." "Give me the address." "Do I look like a postman?" "Am I a postman?" "Don't you know a dacoit is not a postman?" "What am I doing with these people?" "Go away, don't bug me!" "Go!" "Hello?" " Hello." "Who is this?" " Bahadur, open the gate." "Listen, not every Nepali is a security guard." "Hang up!" "You banana skin!" "I don't want you underfoot!" "Hang up!" "I'm going to slice them up!" "Where are we going?" "Where are we?" "Here we are." "Nice." "This is amazing." "I hope, we don't have to pay." " No, buddy." "He doesn't have a running meter." "Thanks you." "Sorry." " Thank you." "Bhoola!" " Goodbye." " Welcome to Tanma hotel." "Bhoola!" " Bhoola!" " Bhoola!" "Buddy, he's being polite." "Forget it, he must be drunk." " Correct." "The man who was to meet us, isn't here." "Let's have a bit." " Sure." "Hey, Tinkerbell, come here." " Good afternoon, sir." "Do you have any chicken?" "What kind would you like?" "Indian, Chinese, Continental?" "We want to eat it, not converse with it." " Yes." "You'll get everything." "This way." " What a pain!" "What?" "There's chicken outside?" "Everybody stand by." "I think, they are here with the stuff." "Sir, we've..." " Let's sit here." "It's a bistro." "Send them inside." " Okay, sir." "OkBY" "They must be sewing free food in there." " Let's go in!" "Alright, here we go." "Bhoola." " Give me a rasgulla!" "What is he doing?" "It seems, he's knitting woolens for his kids." "Guards!" "Let me smell the stuff." "Give me a hug." " What did you say?" "Give me a hug." "What a disgusting man!" "He wants us to poop at a charity meal!" "We'll do as you wish next time." "We aren't even packing a pitcher." "A pitcher?" "No!" "I don't mean that!" "Embrace me!" " Oh!" "Hug me, means embrace, right?" "Does peeing mean, kiss?" "You're a naughty boy!" "BY the Way, nice getup!" "What happened?" " We got up, since you said so." "No, come on." "Sit down." "Keep sitting." "You know, actually no one will guess." "Excellent getup." "You tell us to get up and then to sit down." "Why are you making us do all the hard work?" "Done, sit down." "Keep sitting." "Are you sure, this time?" "You won't cheat..." "Keep sitting." "That's good." "Eat up." "Have the food." "Take it easy, no problem." "There's no hurry." "No, no!" "Chopsticks." "Noodles." "Eat with this." " Noodles." "Yes." "That's how you enjoy it." "Come on!" "Where's my parcel?" "It's your charity meal." "Get some food packed, if you want." "Who stopped you?" " Hey, sit down." "You know, this is a public place." "We are here, for business." "We have to finish the deal." "What are you saying?" "Listen, don't you understand simple English?" "Buddy, you explain to him." "He knows English, ABCD all the way to a hundred." "Go on, explain to him." " Novv, listen." "To the principal of Mogha high school." "District Bhatinda, Punjab State." "Dear Mr. Principal." "I, the Santeshwar Singh Sollad, in shod, Santa... mcannot attend school because, there was summer in the weather." "I had ice in the water, and there is winter in my nose." "And it is flowing like rainy season." "So, I can't come for the few days." "Thanks you, sorry." "And faithfully, once again Santeshwar Sollad in shod Santa, class four, division C!" "Let's rock this joint!" " Be quiet!" "Thank God, I didn't recite any nursery rhymes." "That would have done it." " Okay, there, there." "Desi you are telling me do you know, who you are talking to?" "Give me the stuff?" "What's he going through our innen/vear for?" "Hey, keep it down." " Sorry!" "No stuff." "Who are you, by the way?" "We can't tell anyone." "Are you sure, you won't tell anyone?" "Obviously not!" "We are secret agents." " What?" "We're on a mission." "It's top secret." "You also..." "Before that, I'll blow your heads off, man!" "You're making a mistake." "You can't blow anything with that." "You can, with this." "We better get out of here." " What are you..." "Sir, your charity meal." "Are you hungry?" "Here." "No, wait." "Listen." "Listen to me." " I..." "I will explain it." "Calm down." "Listen." "Here you are." "This is yours." "This is mine." "Let's go, Banta!" "Guards!" "Quick!" " Control yourself." "Run!" " Go on!" "Banta, run for it." "They are chasing..." " I'm not Milkha, the athlete." "Stop it." " Our shoes are torn." "Don't you have any men in your families?" "All fall down!" "Here they go!" "They are gone." " They can't see us." "They have come back." "They still can't see us." " Danger." "Caw caw!" "There are birds in the tree." "Move." "Move." "Caw caw!" "Shall we go?" "Come on." "Hi, I'm QT." "I'm a moped, he's a scooty." "They were right." "Both of you are very funny." "Akbar must have told you about me." "QT." "Queenie Taneja." "Your local on field agent." "You've met Akbar, right?" "Who?" " Akbar?" "We don't have an acquaintance but, I believe, he made a mess because of Jodhabai." "Not that one!" "The Akbar from the airport" "Oh, that one!" "You were to meet us?" "Nice." "Hello." " Your hotel is a deadly place." "Without you, we would have been..." "Stop it." "She's like a sister-in-Iaw to you." "She's my girl." "She's your sister-in-Iaw." "Stick to Billoo." "Listen, it's not safe here." " Okay." "Come along." "Let me escod you to your room." "Stay with me." "What did she say?" "She said, she'd escod you to your room and I'm staying in her room." "Stay with me." "Did you hear that?" "Hey!" "Come in, come in." "Oh, my God!" "This is awesome!" "It is awesome." "But, you can't handle her." "Onlyl can." "I am talking about the room." " It is an amazing room." "How do you like it?" "Even a hut would seem like a palace with you." "Oh, well, you both are going to stay here." "Take it easy, little boy." "Ms. QT, could you please..." "Okay, let me organize something to eat and drink." "Your room key." " No way!" "We drink first and then eat." "Drink and eat." "Okay, I'll be right back." "Your room key." "Oh, wow!" " Here we go." "What?" "For you." "Is that a glass or a bottle cap?" "Cheers." ""| want to get drunk, tonight."" ""Let something naughty happen, tonight."" ""| want to get drunk, tonight."" ""o, baby!" "n" ""Make me dance." " Yes!"" ""O baby!" "n" ""Make me move!"" " Let's go!"" ""O baby, I drink from your gaze and I can't get drunk on liquor, though your eyes hit me."" ""It hits me."" ""No one else comes to mind, the girl with the gaze hits me."" ""She hits me."" ""The girl with the eyes."" ""| can't get drunk on liquor, though your eyes hit me."" ""No one else comes to mind, the girl with the gaze hits me."" ""O baby!"" " The girl with the gaze."" ""We tried the local and impeded liquor."" ""We have had all the liquor in the world."" ""There is no beer, that is as fine as your eyes, dear."" ""There is no beer, that is as fine as your eyes, dear."" ""It's a little bit too much, though."" ""It hits me."" ""It hits me."" ""| can't get drunk on liquor, though your eyes hit me."" ""No one else comes to mind, the girl with the gaze hits me."" ""| want to get drunk, tonight."" ""| want to get drunk, tonight."" ""| want to get drunk, tonight."" ""| want to get drunk, tonight."" ""No matter what her complexion is |ike."" ""We don't want to be away for a moment."" ""When our throats get wet, we get set."" ""When our throats get wet, we get set."" ""That's what bothers everybody."" ""| have got drunk, tonight."" " Me too!"" ""| have got drunk, tonight."" " Me too!"" ""You have got drunk."" ""My eyes are intoxicating tonight."" "I believe you both created a lot of nuisance, at night." "You got totally sozzled." "We don't drink anything else, like tea or coffee." "Last night, we were coerced into drinking liquor." "What was the coercion?" "We lost the bottle cap." "Come this way." "I have something to show you." "He's showing a movie!" " Do you have the CD of Gadar?" "Oh, a movie!" " That's an amazing movie!" "No, sir!" "I'm not going to screen Gadar for you." "I have some information related to this case to show you." "Come on." "QT." "Show it to them." "This is Mr. Shankar, the High Commissioner." "He's been kidnapped." "Look at that!" "He's kidnapped and still, he's smiling." "It's a photo." "Everyone smiles in a photo." "Next." "This is his only wife, whose name is Kareena." "She doesn't look like Kareena (actress) from any angle." "It's not as if the commissioner looks like Saif Ali Khan (actor)." "Next." "This is their house where they live." "Are they living with the entire neighborhood in there?" "No, only Mr. Shankar and his wife live here." "Ms. QT, let's see their kids." "Mr. Shankar doesn't have any kids." "How can he have any?" "He's already kidnapped." "But, sir, we must find him." "If he has no kids, who should we find?" "We have to find the commissioner, sir." "You will need some more things, besides these." "This pen." "What will we do with this?" "We are illiterate." "Tell him!" "Keep it." "It will seem as if we are educated." "By the way, this is a laser pen, not an ordinary pen." "It can melt iron." " Leser?" "Take this Watch." "Look at this, carefully." "Oh, what an amazing Watch!" "It's not the Watch!" "The pen is amazing." "This is for you." "And this pen is for you, Mr. Santa." "This watch which seems ordinary isn't really ordinary." "It contains magnetic and de-magnetic powers." "It can even send back a bullet shot from a gun." "One moment." "Watch this, carefully." "It's here." "This is going to..." "Show me?" "Here you are." "Come on, these are the latest guns." "Take any that you like." "By the way, I use this." "It shoots right through a man." " Oh, God." "No, keep it with you." "We don't need it at all." "I mean, we use our words, we don't use guns." "Mr. Santa, Mr. Banta, that is truly amazing." "This way, please." "So, what's the programme?" " Sorry, what?" "What's next on your programme?" " Here." "The next plan..." " Wait up, sir." "Let's have a bite to eat." "Indian, home style cooking, right?" " No problems." "G regory." " Yes, sir." "Take them to Hilton House." "Sir." "Home cooking." " Sir." "Food?" " Yeah." "Strange!" "Fine, okay." "Be in touch." "Yes." "What does she mean?" "She told me to touch her." "Be in touch." "OkBY" "Let's go." "Mind blowing." " Bye." "I thought, they would make a major move, but they are..." "QT, eating food is just an excuse." "Actually, they want to enter an elite Indian family." "You see, they start thinking, when our thought process ends." "Actually, they want to go to the Indian High Commissioner's house." "Let them go!" "All I see are waiters here." "No customers." "Banta, we are hereto eat food, not the customers!" "That's alright, too." "Banta!" "You control yourself." "Focus on Billoo!" "Hi." "Kareena." "She's the living image of Billoo!" "Why do you see Billoo in every buffalo, tractor, and girl?" "Can I ask you something?" " Yes." "Did your mom ever visit Fiji?" "Excuse me?" " Or, did your dad go to India, ever?" "Such miracles can't happen just like that." "She isn't Karishma (miracle), she is Kareena." "That's right." "I'm Kareena." " Yes." "The wife of Commissioner Shankar." "If Akbar hadn't told me, I'd have never recognized both of you." "Who are we?" " Secret agents." "We are?" " Is he a secret agent, too?" "No, that is my husband." " Both of them?" "No, that's my husband's friend, Sonu Sultan." "You said, he is your husband." "That is my husband." "He is the High Commissioner." "Yes, he's the High Commissioner and my husband and this is his friend, a very famous businessman." "Okay, forget about that." "Tell us, what does your husband's friend do?" "He deals in antiques." "Antiques?" "What is that?" "Anti..." "What is that?" "Antiques are the sale, purchase, maintenance of old, valuable items." "I see." "A scrap vendor, you mean." "He's a scrap vendor." "Her husband's pal is a scrap vendor." "Come here." " What?" "Just zip it." "I have investigated..." "Come and sit." " Yes." "OkBY" "So, tell me." "Tipu Sultan is a great pal of your husband, right?" "Sonu Sultan." " Who is Sonu Sultan?" "My husband's friend." "He mentioned the wrong name." "Who is Tipu Sultan, then?" "I don't know who he is." "Forget about that." "Sonu, fine." "Tell me, is Sonu Nigam..." "That's the wrong name, again!" "Not Nigam!" "It's Sultan!" "The Sultan of which place?" "He's my husband's friend!" "But, you just said, you don't know Tipu Sultan!" "I don't know anyone called Tipu Sultan." "I know Sonu Sultan." "My husband's friend, Sonu Sultan." "So, who is Sonu Nigam, then?" "He's a very famous Indian singer!" "Which means, you know him." "Oh, come on!" "Everyone knows him." "And he's not your husband's friend." "He's not!" " Then, who is his friend?" "Sonu Sultan!" "Then, who is Tipu Sultan?" "Where did Akbar find..." "How can Akbar be Sonu Sultan?" "Forget about all that." "Ask me what you want to know." "I want to know, where is Mr. Sonu Sood, right now?" "Sonu Sultan!" "Good afternoon." "What's going on in your city, Francis?" "My friend was kidnapped two days ago!" "And your police force still doesn't know who is responsible for the kidnapping?" "You people are doing nothing!" "We will find out, Mr. Sultan." "The Diwali Ball takes place tomorrow." "Remember?" " Yes." "Everywhere, Indians celebrate it." "I'm thinking of canceling the event." "It will send wrong signals, Mr. Sultan." "What should I say to those people, then?" "What should I say to the media?" "Oh, I am sorry!" "Our Indian Ambassador has been kidnapped." "If the kidnappers are in a good mood, he will be released, soon." "Very sorry for the inconvenience." "Should I say that?" "Shame on us!" " I understand." "But, believe me, we are doing our best." "I request you, Mr. Sultan te||" "Ms. Kareena to act perfectly' normal at the pariy." "Don't worry about her, I will handle her." "But, please do something, Francis." "And clean up this city." "I am sick of this did." ""Nepali, lift up the headdress."" "What's going on?" "Wait." "It's my turn." "Listen to me..." "Boss, don't barge in." "Step back a bit." "Listen to me!" "We will listen to you." "You must be patient." "Listen to me..." "Later!" "We don't have any time now." "Am I selling fish out here in Fiji?" "Sorry, boss." "Do you know what happened the secret agents?" "How would we know?" "We would know if we found them." "Didn't you find them?" " What did I just say?" "I told you, clearly, they weren't found." "Why are you still asking me what it means?" "Who fell?" " Boss, that's you!" "I want Santa and Banta, now." "You will get them." "Just give us..." " One more chance?" "No!" "Give us a decent cycle." "We will figure it out." "Within 24 hours, we will find Santa and Banta, or..." "Or, what?" " What?" "We'll say, we couldn't find them." "I am going to find Santa and Banta." "There is a celebration for Diwali, tomorrow." "There will be singing and dancing, there." "They will surely be there." "Hello?" " Hello." "Bahadur, open the gate." "Why do you keep barking constantly?" "Which doggie with a phone are you?" "Get off the phone, at once!" "I know, you are under pressure." "But, what can I do?" "This is how the agency works." "If he asks, tell him, we will tell him, when we find him." "That pitcher of yours is driving me insane!" "It's an heirloom and it's expensive." "It's not expensive!" "It's not worih two rupees." "It must be worih thousands!" " Worih thousands?" "What?" " Want to bet on that?" "Want to bet, it's not a thousand?" " What are you doing?" "He was ridiculing my pitcher." "It's an heirloom and it's 2000 years old." "It's not worih Rs. 2!" "Be quiet." "Mr. Akbar, find me a place where we can get this valued." "Or, I'm going back to the Punjab!" "No, no!" "Please, go in and get dressed before you come out." "I'll tell Gregory to escod you where you want." "Please, go on." "It's the lobby!" " Really?" "Let's see." "Come on, Banta." "Let's go." " Okay." "Let's get dressed." " Hello, Ms. QT." "A pitcher, right in the middle of the mission?" "What?" "The mission is on." "They are genius and think like geniuses." "That's how they work." "It's their style." "I don't get it!" "Why is it always so complicated?" "It's not complicated!" "Where can we get that pitcher valued?" "At an antique dealer's place." " Okay." "And who is the sole antique dealer in Fiji?" "Sonu Sultan." "As far as I can see, it's really old." "It is an antique." "It's over two hundred years old." "Really?" " Yes." "So, it must be really expensive." "What did you say?" "Please say that again, a little louder?" "Well, it's tough to say how much it's worth." "But, it's worih millions." "Right!" "Millions!" "Millions!" "Millions..." "Oh, no!" "Do you have cataracts in your eyes?" " Oh!" "Let's hear that in Ftajasthani!" "Our pitcher is wor1h millions!" "Millions!" "Sir, give me that pen!" "Hey, scrap vendor!" "This is not an ordinary pen!" "It can cause trouble, okay?" "Don't you have any sense?" "What are you saying?" "What on earih..." "Guards!" "Does this happen, every day?" "Get back!" " Move it!" " Get back." "They both have caused a lot of damage." "Why are you grabbing me like that?" "Sir, what is going on?" "They suffered damages." "There was an earihquake." "We didn't feel anything." " Nothing at all!" "We kept standing through it." " We didn't feel a thing." "Sir, this is all because of them." "He did it!" " Stop it, you evil man!" "Don't lie!" "One moment." "Quiet, everyone." "Yes, tell me." "Hey, he's the guy in the picture." "His stomach..." " What?" "I know him!" "OkBY" "Let them go." "You may leave." "I am sorry." "Kareena called and she just told me." "That is when I found out." "We just found out about it, too." " What?" "That the pitcher is expensive." " Excuse me, the pitcher..." "Sir, believe me." "This is all their fault." "It's okay!" "It's all insured, right?" "Go on." "What would you like to have?" "Well, it's not exactly the time for liquor." "Let's have some buttermilk." " Buttermilk, please." "How about buttermilk?" " Buttermilk." "Oh, my God." " What is it?" "Sir, here is the food and wine list for tomorrow." "Ah, okay." " Mary." "She's already said, she's mine not yours." "Control yourself." "Actually, why don't you come for tomorrow's event?" "I'd like it." "An event?" " There's a huge pariy, tomorrow." "All the politician's and businessmen will be there." "If you meet them, formally | am sure, your investigation will benefit from it." "You've made me feel emotional." "We always get tossed out of pariies." "You invited us!" "We will be there." "Okay." " We will be your guests." "Thank you." "We are very glad to meet you." "Mr. Tipu Nigam." " What?" ""The fish lives in the sea."" ""Water gives it life."" ""Touch it and it shies away."" ""Bring it out, it will die." "It will die."" ""The fish."" "Whoo!" ""The fish."" ""Cast the net, plan a scheme."" ""We cast the net, and plan to snare one, every day."" ""Not old, only the fresh piece..."" ""Not old, only the fresh piece is the one we want."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish." "Liquor."" ""The one who gets caught by our bait."" ""That's the fish who goes with us."" ""| can't tell you how amazing she is, pals."" ""She is amazing, once she gets dry."" ""Anyone who gets a chance will take it."" ""Anyone who gets a chance will take it."" ""She is going to die, anyway."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish." "The |iquor."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish." "The liquor.'" ""The fish.'" ""Water..." ""water in soda, soda in water."" ""Water in soda, soda in water."" ""Water in soda, soda in water."" ""Water in soda, soda in water."" ""Water in soda, soda in water."" ""Water in soda, soda in water."" ""We are used to being lush!" "This is our routine."" ""We don't eat chicken, we are fans of the fish."" ""The eyes of the fish, drive us crazy."" ""The fish gives us, everything that we need for the night."" ""What we say is something..."" ""What we say is something, the clever World understands."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish." "The |iquor.'."" ""The fish."" ""The fish lives in the sea..." " The fish."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""The fish lives in the sea and we eat it at night with a drink."" ""We eat it at night with a drink."" ""We eat it at night with a drink."" ""We eat it at night with a drink."" "Santa!" " Banta!" "Banta!" "I..." "Where is Banta?" "Buddy, what are you doing unden/vater?" "Close your eyes." "Take a breath." "Breathe, my man!" "So, Mr. Arvind Dharivval." "Who will you send next?" "Both your agents are dead." "They aren't dead." "They are alive." "What?" " They were picked up, before they could die." "Banta!" " Santa!" "Didn't you know, your men were at the pariy?" "What on earih is going on?" "It would have been better to send real agents." "At least, I would have been spared the losses!" "Just control your temper." "Let me handle this." "Do whatever it takes, but fast." "I'm warning you." "Or, I'll kill them myself." "I can't take this kind of nonsense, anymore." "I will deal with anything else that happens, later." "I'll find a solution to this problem." "Soon." "Banta, I'm missing Punjab." "When the cycle tire had a flat in the village and they pumped air into it, Ms. QT is pumping us the same way." "We would have been punctured." "If you'd drowned and died." "Luckily, I sent QT to follow you." "Othenlvise, you would have been the deparied." "Get my drift?" "I'm shocked, that agents like you managed to drown!" "I bet, they had too much to drink." "Too much to drink?" "No!" "I remember it well!" "There were a lot of drinks, but not one of them was yellow." "One was red, one was green." "One was white, like sweet buttermilk." " Banta." "There is a time for humor." "I joke at the right time." "You're right." "So, at what time do you joke?" "Mr. Santa, please, explain to him?" "How can I explain to him, Ms. QT?" "But, the fact is, that none of the drinks was yellow." "Yes!" " Not one drink!" "One moment, let me explain what I meant." "Consider this as liquor." "I pour it into this." "Novv, I am going to..." "No!" " What is it?" "Sir, are you going to drink it neat?" "Won't you add soda?" "Soda?" "Come on, let's assume this is soda." "Assumed." " I add this to it." "Okay?" "Novv, tell me, what I have done." "What did I do?" "You drank the medicine!" "What else?" "You're getting confused." "Listen to me." "Last night, we drank too much." "And because of that, we fell into the water." " Yes." "See?" "Yellow!" "I know what yellow is like." "These people don't want to understand." "Bhoola!" " Hello?" "Is this Mr. Santa?" " Yes." "It's me." " Who is me?" "It's me, here." "Kareena." " It's Billoo!" "Bhoola!" "I want to meet both of you in private." "Does Banta have to be there?" "Yes, it is." "Can we meet on the deck of your hotel in half an hour?" "Alright." "We'll be there." "Santa, look at her high heels!" "Hello." " Hello." "Hello." "I have called you hereto discuss something imporiant." "I may not have been able to say this to anyone else." "But, I feel I can tell you anything now that I have met you." "Thanks." "I don't think my husband has been kidnapped." "What?" " This is a scheme." "A conspiracy." "Who planned it?" "My husband did it." "You know, before he was kidnapped he was acting really strange." "He used to talk on the phone for hours." "He used to hide everything from me." "Earlier, I took this very lightly." "But, when he vanished, I felt he Wasn't kidnapped." "In fact, he went underground of his ovvn will." "What's underground?" "Do they wear stuff under the innen/vear?" "Chill, little boy." "Ma'am, I don't believe in all this." "You don't?" "I believe it." "I do." "You know, I honestly hope I am wrong." "I hope Shankar isn't capable of this." "But, the truth will be known when it is revealed." "Who can reveal it, though?" " Who can do that?" "We will do that." " What?" "From today, all you have is ours." "I mean, your sorrows and tensions are ours." "Novv, we will start investigating with your hint." "We will bring your husband to you, as soon as possible." "Thank you, Mr. Santa." "What should I do?" "You're so nice!" ""| am here for you."" ""The mood is sensuous for you."" ""| brought romance for you."" ""The magic is cast for you."" ""Let's fall in love, then."" ""Let's look deep into each other's eyes."" ""It's for a night." "Love is not a crime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Anytime."" ""Let's be in |ove."" ""Let's be in |ove."" ""Your gorgeous style and my naughtiness is driving you crazy."" ""Your gorgeous style and my naughtiness is driving you crazy."" ""You have touched me and I felt something."" ""My breath is filled with fire."" ""Let me teach you how to fall in |ove."" ""It's just for a night." "Love is not a crime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Your eyes are like red wine."" ""Let me sip without waiting."" ""Your eyes are like red wine."" ""Let me sip without waiting."" ""Everyone is drunk on love, right now."" ""Just do what you want to do."" ""Your spell is all around me."" ""You rule my head."" ""It's for a night." "Love is not a crime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" ""Let's be in love, anytime."" "Banta." " Yes?" " Where are you?" "I'm back, Santa." "You too?" " Yes." "Banta, we have to think about what your sister-in-Iaw said." "But, where should we start the investigations from?" "Well, he's there." " Who?" "Our friend." "Get this guy out of my sight." "Hey, there!" " Hello!" "Hello!" " Oh!" "Are you playing hockey all alone?" "Nice to see you guys." "Tony, towel please." " Yes, sir." "Actually, I am really sorry." "Since we survived?" " No!" "I'm happy about that." "I thought, you'd left the pariy and gone to the hotel." "I learnt about the accident, much later." "I am glad you guys are okay." "Tell me, any news of my friend?" "Which friend?" " The Commissioner!" "Did you forget?" "Oh!" " Don't embarrass us, Mr. Razia Sultan!" "It's Sonu Sultan." " Sorry?" "My name is Sonu Sultan, not Razia Sultan." "So, you are Sonu Sultan." " Yes, I am." "So, who is Razia Sultan?" " Sorry?" "As they say, Ftazia went to the fair and got abused there." "Is she related to you?" " How is she related to you?" "I don't know about all that." "All I know is that my name is Sonu Sultan!" "Is that okay?" "Why are you getting upset?" "Just clearing up doubts!" "Yes." "Anyway, it's okay." "It happens." "So, tell me." "How did you drown?" "I mean, you are very skilled secret agents." "The sun is enormous and yet it sets, every day!" "Is that alright with you?" " Move aside, please." "Ball arriving from the Kotla and a shod arm, long leg and..." "That's a great shot!" " Oh!" "Sir, give this to me." "Okay." "Good shot." "Do you know, what you did?" "What do you know?" "Don't act too innocent." "We know about it." "What do you know?" "After we drowned, you tried to look for us, right?" "Yes, I had to." "Tony, water." " Tony water for me, too!" "Yes, sir." "Anyway" "Tell me, any progress on the case?" "There's loads of progress." "But, we can't tell you." "If you don't talk about it, we can tell you." "Right, Santa?" "Of course!" "I won't tell anyone." "Listen, we don't think, the commissioner was kidnapped." "Really." " Yes." "He just vanished on his own." "Soon, we will bring him to you." "I see." " Really nice to meet you Mr. Salim Suleiman." "This is yours." " Banta, let's go!" "This is JV Rousseau." "Code name, Santa Banta." "Squadron 34, batch 99." "Sorry, for the delay in making contact, sir." "No, what's the hurry when it comes to making contact?" "You could have been a bit more willful." "You conducted a banned stuff bust, ruined Sultan's warehouse." "You even jumped into the sea, after getting drunk!" "If that isn't enough, stad a fire and set off a bomb!" "What are you saying?" "Sir, I don't get it." "My throat is parched, from answering the Ministry's queries." "My 38 year old career is now in danger!" "People are questioning my position, on a daily basis!" "Tell me, what are you guys doing out there?" "Are you on a mission or playing games?" "Hello?" "What is it?" " I don't know what he's talking about." "Hello." " Arvind, what's going on?" "Who are these fools, you've sent on the mission?" "What are they doing out there?" "They are digging your grave." "Hello?" "Hello!" "Yes, sir." "I'm here." "Am I singing for you?" "A song, or a ballad?" "You can't do anything right." "Just forget about it." "Hold on." "Hello." " Yes, sir." "Akbar, what's going on?" "What are Santa and Banta doing in Fiji?" "Just look at their gumption!" "They called me and then, they hung up on me!" "Banta, I can't get this right." " You have to suck, not blow!" "The phone." "Hello, who is this?" " Arvind." "He's not here, he's in India." "Call him up there." "You fool, this is Arvind!" "Don't you recognize my voice?" "What is this nonsense?" "Is this any way to talk to me?" "No, sir." "It's not you." "I was just..." "What are you on?" " No, sir!" "I just had a Chinese meal!" " Chinese?" "What did you eat at the Chinese meal?" "What is this loser talking about?" "He ate up a Chinese man?" "Which Chinese man?" " Who is the Chinese man?" "No!" "Sir, not a Chinese man, I meant Chinese food." "Well, eat Chinese at your leisure, out there." "I have to come to Fiji, personally." "The boss wants to come to Fiji." "Sure he can!" "He doesn't need my permission to do that." "The boss is coming over, fool!" "Hanumant is my boss!" "Really!" "Are you going to tell me that I am your boss?" "No, sir, you are the boss." "You are my boss and the entire deparimenfs boss." "You are the boss and that's all that it is." "It's time to do, not to speak." "The pressure of the Home Ministry and Santa and Banta's antics will drive me crazy." "On top of that, there's Arvind." "Hello, Arvind?" "Hello?" "Hey!" "Hello?" "Are you insane?" "What nonsense was that?" "The boss was on the other line." "Was he your boss?" " Yes." "Did he eat the Chinese?" " Hello!" " Akbar ate it." "Then, what did the boss eat?" "How do I know?" "I'm not monitoring his stomach from inside." "Novv, listen to why I called you." "It's possible that the boss may come to Fiji." "If that happens, it's going to be a big mess." "What kind of mess?" "He will find out you both aren't Santa and Banta." "What is he saying?" "We are Santa and Banta!" "Disconnect the phone!" "Do it!" "Hello?" "Why did he hang up, Santa?" "He was in big trouble." "Thank God!" "They're gone." " We're safe." "They survived, but brother-in-Iaw won't spare us!" "Let's go." "So, now you dared to hang up on me?" "I didn't hang up." "It got disconnected." "At least, cook up some decent excuses!" "This is your last chance." "Last chance." "Get to Fiji, immediately." "Wrap up the mission high commissioner within 3 days." "And get back here." "Hello?" " Shirley?" "Yes, sir?" "Book a ticket, please." " Sure, sir." "For Fiji." " Alright." "Economy." "Arvind is travelling." "Oh, no!" " What fell?" "It didn't fall." "We were made to fall." "Why?" "Boss, why are you hitting us?" "Where are Santa and Banta?" "We told you." "They survived, they went to hospital and the hotel." "I am going to go and kill them right there." "Rascals!" "Let's go." "Burn the mouth." " What is he saying?" "Burn the mouth!" " Do it." "What is that?" "Get that away from me." "You told me to burn your mouth, so I did it." "You fool, I want the socks, I wear with my shoes." "Get my socks!" "Why don't you say it right?" "I will do whatever I think you said!" "He's a fool!" "If I tell you to get spinach, will you get fire?" "If you confuse Hindi and Nepali languages, it will create a mess." "Don't talk too much!" "You're getting too spoilt!" "Zip that lip!" "Don't let me hear you crib!" "Rascal!" "Don't mock me!" "This is the don!" "Hello?" "Who's this?" "Hello!" "Bahadur, open the gate." "Which cemetery did you escape from, you ghoul?" "Who gave birih to you?" "Get off the phone!" "I'm going to kill this guy who makes the wrong calls!" "We are almost here." " Okay, let's get down." "Hurry, don't let Santa and Banta get away." " Yes." "Search this place, thoroughly!" "Where is the lift..." "softly!" "Speak softly!" " Why are you shouting?" "He's telling us to speak softly!" "He's lost it." " Let's go." "You go this way." " Okay." "Banta, let's go to the hotel rooftop and have a drink." "You guys seem familiar to me." "Why?" "Why does it seem, I have seen you?" "Are there two Sikhs, who look like you, in the hotel?" "There is no one besides us." "Could it be, us?" "No way!" "You're right here with me." "I am looking for them and I can't seem to find them." "Tell me, if you find them." "I am going to stick them with my knife." "Sir, why do you hate them so much?" "Who are you?" "I am the don." "The real don." "What's a real don, sir?" "The kind of man who gives orders." "Send two biryanis to our room." "Okay?" "Thanks." "Not that kind!" "The kind he has loads of spoons (Sidekicks)." "Sure, send two spoons, too." "We'll eat some yoghuri." "You're so funny!" "Okay, bye." "I am going to find the real Santa and Banta." "Yes, there they are!" "I am going to kill them." "I can see them!" "Come on!" " There they are." "Santa and Banta are in the lift, alone with us." "We are lucky." "Let's kill them right here." "Hi!" "~ Oh!" "Do we have bad breath?" "Why did they aved their faces?" "I'm taking the stairs." " Bahadur!" "Why are you here?" "Go to the gate." "We meet again!" "Where were you?" "Did you find Santa and Banta?" "Who do you think is standing next to the girl?" "They are my friends." "These are real people." "Those are the fakes." "They are the ones!" " Yes!" "It's them!" " Yes, it's them!" "They are in the hotel!" "Crazy man!" "They are maligning innocent Sikhs!" "Wait!" "This is my territory." "Here is my card." "If you find the real Santa and Banta, call and tell me." "What is it?" " Shame on you!" "Rather than call you my boss | would rather knead dough in a bakery or sell ice cream on caris!" "You were hounding Santa and Banta." "But, you let go when you got them and gave your visiting card!" "You both are..." "Get off!" " Boss!" "Hello?" " Hello, Bahadur." "Open the gate." "You shut the gate!" "Or Santa and Banta will go out!" "Santa and Banta are going to be linked to another case." "Mission high commissioner Fiji, successful." "Wow!" "That's awesome." "And this is all because of you, Arvind!" "If you had to send over fake agents Why didn't you send just any fools?" "Why send them?" "Actually, I think, they did all this, by coincidence." "By coincidence?" "Really?" "Right, of course." "So true." "The banned stuff deal was busted by coincidence." "My warehouse turned into a graveyard by coincidence." "They were tossed into the sea and still survived." "All of them coincidences." "I am sorry, Arvind." "This is a bit too much to digest." "Give me some time." "I will fix it." "No, you will not fix it." "Novv, I will do whatever needs to be done." "Novv, you will just hand them both over to them." "Clear?" "Okay, thank you." "Captain, back to the resort" "What are you looking for?" " The drawstring." "Do something." "Can't you pack quickly?" "Don't shout at me, or I won't go back." "Should I call the police?" "The police?" "What did we do, now?" "What did you do?" "Do you know what the sentence is for the losses to Sultan's properly?" "20 years." "You'll be doing hard labor in jail for 20 years." "What did I do, it seems!" "Banta, 20 years of hard labor!" "What will we do with all the fruits of that labor?" "Who could eat so many flatbreads?" "Forget it." "There is too much danger here, now." "The don threatened to kill us on the lift." "Who?" "Who did you meet?" " There was a man on the elevator." "He had 2 Nepali bodyguards." "He's a gangster." "You didn't mention him." "When did this happen?" " Two days ago." "Then?" " Then, what?" "We are great at hide and seek and we just got out of there." "Finish packing, quickly." " What about the mission?" "Find your drawstring, first." " Sorry." "What are you doing?" " We really worked very hard." "Let me go." "There's not much to go." "Look, the country needs us." " I know." "No, you need some time out." " Sir, we worked hard..." "Time out?" " Yes." "Where are you sending us on a time out?" " Rest a bit." "In a truck?" " Go on!" "A truck?" " Try to understand!" "I'll meet you, later." "Are you coming on vacation too?" "Oh." "Brother-in-Iaw!" "You said, hi, shook hands and gave your card to Santa and Banta." "You aleried them!" "What should we do, now?" " Hey where can they go?" "I will follow and kill them." "They lied to me!" " Are you going to bite them?" "That kukri is not for chopping salad!" "Don't hassle me!" "You don't know how dangerous I can be." "Even I don't know that." "Come with me!" "Where is my Ferrari?" "Where is it?" "Sit!" "Come on!" "Which Nepali gang?" "I don't understand any of this." "I haven't given a hit man a contract for Santa and Banta." "They said, there are three men." "They met them in the lift, but didn't recognize them." "Well done." "Which means, someone else besides me is looking for your fools." "Don't worry, no one can get to them, before me." "Along with the high commissioner..." ""Santa and Banta will be killed today." "I promise you, that." "Get to the headquaders, at once." "There is one thing, Santa." "We came to catch someone and got nabbed, ourselves!" "I think, Mr. Akbar, Arvind, the Ambassador, are all in cahoots." "They are playing a huge game." "They are playing hockey." "The greatest game." " Get lost!" "They are in the car before us." "I'm going to teach them a lesson!" "So, how are you, my friend?" "I hope, I have been a good host." "You're going to get a taste of hospitality, in prison." "Leave him!" "It's just business." "It's what I do!" "Besides, you got into the middle of it." "That's why I had to kidnap you and bring you here." "I'm still telling you." "Let's do this, together." "The Customs won't even check you." "After all, you are a VIP." "You could be a millionaire." "You won't agree, even now." "You'll agree, when someone dies." "Look there." "Take a look!" "Right there." "I'm going to count to three." "Please!" "One." "Please, save me." "TWO!" "Darling, please save me." "Three!" "What are you staring at?" "I already knew about both of you." "What are you doing?" "Kareena, this is imporiant." "Please." "Darling." "Everyone has their ovvn definition of imponant work." "This is impodant for you and something else is impodant for me." "If you hadn't given him the information on the sly by now, he'd be sewing his sentence in some prison." "Well, you have to give him credit." "Your husband is not as foolish as we thought he was." "I am so sorry, darling." "But, you know everything, now." "So, listen to us." "Anyway, you don't have to do much." "Just don't say anything!" "Use your position for some advantage." "And let your friends take advantage, too." "Give us the cover and a life." "I think, it's a great deal." "Okay?" "My conscience isn't selling out like your body." "Shoot him!" "I will shoot him." "But, let's get his ransom, first." "Hello." " I would like to an officer who can take a decision on the spot." "Sir!" "Staff!" "Record the call." "Sir, please." "Who is this?" "That won't add to the high commissioner's life or reduce the amount I want as a ransom." "Novv, what I need is 50 million dollars in cash." "What?" "50 million dollars?" "That's a huge amount to be produced at such shod notice!" "What proof do you have that he is safe?" "I am speaking of the high commissioner, not some baby bird." "Send over the money and take him home." "Or the pieces of his dead body will get home." "If you do that..." "Okay. 50 million." "Very good!" "Note down the location." "Where are you going?" "We may over shoot it!" "Where are we?" "This isn't the airport" "Is this a pod?" "You need a boat at a pod." "Come on." "Hold on to that." "Let me go!" "What do you eat?" "Santa!" "It's Ms. Kareena!" "Hello!" "Ms. Kareena!" "Billoo!" " What?" "Why don't you take a good look?" "It's Kareena!" "She's with him, Sonu Walia." "Who is Sonu Walia?" " It's you." "Listen to me for the last time." "My name isn't Sonu Walia, it's Sonu Sultan, is that clear?" "Are you Sonu sultan?" " Yes." "You're not Sonu Walia?" " No!" "She said, you're Sonu Walia." "What?" " I didn't say anything." "She also said, you're the famous Indian singer..." ""what's his name?" " Yes, that one." "Be quiet!" " Sorry_" "What is going on here?" "I was talking about Sonu Nigam." "Didn't you mention Tipu Sultan?" "I said, I didn't know about Tipu Sultan." "Okay Billoo, enough!" "Billoo?" " Yes, sorry!" "Thanks you!" "First, tell me, why are you both here?" "Who is that?" "He's the one..." "He's the commissioner." "Oh!" "The commissioner?" "Thank you." "What's up?" "You were taking us in a truck!" "Don't touch me." "You wanted to kill us!" "Listen to me, first." " You listen to me." "Sorry." "Enough!" " Yes." "Ms. Kareena, call the police." "Mr. Sonu, thanks for coming." "Or, his men were going to take us somewhere." "Be quiet, you fools!" "I am going to end this game right here, today." "Just let me get the money and We're done." "I don't get whether Rehana Sultan is our friend or foe." "Who is Rehana Sultan?" "Who is..." "Who is he?" "Here, 50 million, cash." " Thank you." "If I don't call within an hour, attack." "Santa, it's our first death." "I'm slightly scared." "Forget it!" "Who gets scared of something like that?" "Once in the village, I needed to go to the loo at 2 am." "I went to the loo and there was a huge tiger sitting there." "Then, what?" " Then, I said Mr. Tiger, take your time." "I'm done!" "Sorry." "Are you ready to die?" "Why do we need to get ready?" "It's death, not a wedding." "Sir, I don't get it." "Why do you want to kill us?" "What did we do to you?" " What did you do?" "What did you do?" "You ruined my business." "And you're asking me what you did?" "You've had it." "Isthat a real gun?" " Just let go!" "We'll know, when the gun is shot, whether it's real." "Beware!" "Santa and Banta are wanted by me!" "I am going to shoot them." "Santa, take care of..." "Tell QT..." " I will do that." "The gun didn't shoot." " It needs bullets to shoot." "I kept the bullets on the fridge." "Why didn't you load it?" "I ate it, since I had a headache." "And you're still not dead!" " Be quiet!" "Who are you?" "With one sign from me, all of you will be shot a hundred times." "Wait." " Get in line, sir." "Wait." " This man is bigger than us." "Be quiet." "The tall man will die first." "Sir!" "My darling..." " Easy." "I have one last wish." " One last wish." "Even the government offers one last wish." "Tea, coffee, dance bar?" "A honor performance?" "What is your last wish?" " One moment, sir." "Should I say it?" " You will?" "We will play hide and seek." "Hide and seek?" "What is that?" "We used to play it as kids." "Listen, we can play today." "She said, don't waste time." "Don't listen to them!" "We are going to play tug of war, too!" "It's hide and seek!" "Not tug of war." "At least, keep our respect in public!" "Play on!" "I want to see this game." "Count to ten." "Close your eyes." "And we will hide, while you look for us." "Okay?" "One, two." " Hide!" "Three!" " Come on!" "Close your eyes!" "Fouﬂ" " Come on, hide." "Five." " We will hide too." "Close your eyes!" " What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "Six!" "Seven!" "Ten, ready!" "Very good!" "Well done." "Banta!" "Are you around?" "Santa, I'm in the drum!" "No one caught me." "Very good, Banta!" "Come on, where's Tipu?" "I got caught." "Novv, let's see you catch Banta." "Look there." "Oh, no, my friend!" "Why did you get caught?" "I Wasn't caught." " Yes, you Were!" "Oh, no!" "Come on." " No, Santa!" "Come on, Banta." " Santa!" "What is it?" " This is cheating." "No, no, you're caught." "He's caught." "No problem." "One moment, Banta." "Novv, if you're done, can I continue?" "No!" "This is cheating." " Cheating?" "We hid and you looked for us." "Novv, your men will hide and we will search." "Do something about this, or I will do it." "Relax!" " Do something." "It's just a game." "I'm loving it, too much." "You will hide, I will count to ten." " Whatever you say!" "Whatever you say." " Go and hide." "One, two, four, five, eight, nine, ten!" "Hello?" " Yes, Arvind." "Did you get the money?" " Yes." "Hey, why aren't you here, yet?" "I won't get there, ever." "What's Wrong?" " Arvind, you..." "you.__ _ Bye bye." "Arvind, you are crossing me." " We'll see." "Arvind!" "You curse have hassled me!" "I won't let you get away with this." "You've had it!" "Whenever anyone talks badly about India the Sikhs lose their cool, most of all." "So, tell me more." " Yes." "Come on!" " Still not found them." "Banta!" "Let's channelize Sunny Deol!" "Not like that!" "Come on, pull that out!" "What does Sunny Deol eat?" "Banta." " Santa!" "Banta!" "You can't do this." "Let's just do this." " Okay." "Just shoot them!" "How?" "He has the gun." "Banta!" "Bye bye, Banta!" "This watch can even send back a bullet from a gun." "Where did the snow come from?" "Oh, God!" "It's a tsunami!" "This don is a rascal!" "What are you doing?" " Run." "Run!" " Don't move!" "Run!" "" Stop!" "Banta!" "No!" "' No!" "Santa!" "Help!" " Banta!" "He'll me!" "Banta, what are you doing?" "It's your sister-in-Iaw!" "Banta!" "What are you doing?" "It's a crime." "What are you doing?" "Banta!" "Sir." "It's over an hour and no news of Arvind." "Everybody on board?" "PT, police, coast guard, everyone." "Attack." "I will find them." "Ghost!" " No, it's your boss!" "Our boss is dark." "This fight is going to get you a blackened face." "This is flour." "Come on!" " Where are you going?" "I am going to make flatbreads with the flour!" "Be quiet." "What is going on?" "Get back!" "This is chili powder!" "How did it get here?" "Banta!" " Santa!" "Banta!" "Oh!" "Sonu Sultan!" "The ball spins in the hands of the ball boy." "He's hit that like a rocket." "Banta, your pitcher!" "I will never bad mouth it." " I told you." "I will never bad mouth it." "Sonu!" " Santa, we vvon!" "He's hit that, like a rocket!" "Sorry, Santa!" "Your Billoo..." "She is a traitor of the country." "She can't be my Billoo." "She can't be her." "Don't move." "Come on, out." "Get out." "Game over." "We vvon." "Hands up!" "Come out!" "Hey!" "Oh, God!" " Get out of there." "We have to go right." "Come on, let's go." "Let's go." "Are you alright, sir?" "Santa and Banta!" "Please." "You've done well." "You've made the country proud." "Mention not." " Okay!" "Please, leave." " Banta, let's go." "Okay." " One moment." "There he goes!" "One moment." " He wants to speak." "Are you real or fake?" "Whatever we are, we are real!" "See?" "I was absolutely right." "And my phone didn't ring!" "That's because, my cell phone fell during the game." "Hello, good evening, sir." "This is Akbar." "Congratulations." "The mission was successful." "Yes, sir." "Yes, sir." "We have kept the high commissioner safe." "He is resting at home." "Yes." "Sonu Sultan and his gang are in police custody." "This is all because of your agents, Santa and Banta." "Mind blowing job, sir." "Let me speak to Arvind." "We lost Arvind, sir." "Sorry." "No, he won't die so easily." "I will find him." "Meanwhile, send Santa and Banta to India at once." "I don't want them to stay in Fiji for another moment." "But, sir..." " I don't want to listen, Akbar." "That's an order." " Hello?" "It was great fun working with you on this mission." "You are really good friends." "You're right." "You should have friends in life." "Santa, friends will be your life." "I am saying the same thing!" " No?" "Because, this time, you have a point." "You're getting late." "Please." "I am proud of you, Mr. Santa and Mr. Banta." "You have made the country proud." "Ms. QT, I have a gift for you." "This is the most prized possession of my life." "Thank you, Mr. Banta." "M r." "Akbar?" " Yes?" "This is for you." "You solved this?" "QT!" "I can't do this, and they did it." " QT!" "Sir!" "Genius!" "What genius?" "It was like that, at the shop." "Santa." "Go on, little boy." "Ms. QT." "I likes you." "You beating my head." "Maybe, meeting?" "Sitting." "Listen, you're a darling." "Banta!" "We're safe." "Sir, the Minister's phone." "Doesn't he need the phone?" " He's called you." "Hello, sir." " Hello!" "I just heard from the Home Ministry... mthat my agent Arvind double crossed us." "Still, you have returned a success." "Congratulations!" " Thanks you." "Congratulations to you, too!" "The country is proud of you." "Although you aren't real agents you did very well." "So, I want you to be our agents, officially." "What do you think?" "What can I say, besides thank you?" "Thanks for believing in us." "But, I have a question." " Go ahead." "How much do we get paid?" "Well, that is..." "Alright, check and let me know." "Okay?" "Thanks, sorry." "Hail India." " Hail India." "Santa, you spoke to the Minister for so long!" " You bet." "It's impossible!" " Why?" "It's impossible!" " Who else could it be?" "A wrong number!" " I said, it's the Minister." "I say, it's a wrong number." "How do you know it Wasn't the Minister?" "Santa, he has never talked so much to anyone, so far." "Hey, driver!" "Change gears and let's go home." ""Be it London or America."" ""Italy or Africa."" ""We are famous all over."" ""Everyone knows about us."" ""Be it London or America." "Italy or Africa."" ""We are famous all over." "Everyone knows about us."" ""Here, there, everywhere."" ""The beat of our drum echoes everywhere."" ""The flute plays."" ""The flute plays." "Santa plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "Santa plays the flute, Banta plays the flute."" ""The Jats play the flute."" ""Everywhere." "Santa plays the flute."" ""Banta plays the flute."" ""The best of pals." "The best of Sikhs."" ""Every kid knows them." "How can you not know them?"" ""No matter where they go, they rock the world."" ""The flute plays."" ""At 7 pm in the evening the glasses are set on the table."" ""We don't sip, we drink the entire bottle."" ""We get drunk, we can't take it anymore."" ""Then, we go to the disco and move everyone out."" ""We dance to the Michael Jackson step and rock the world."" ""The flute plays." "Santa plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "Santa plays the flute, Banta plays the flute."" ""Santa plays the flute, Banta plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "Santa plays the flute, Banta plays the flute."" ""Santa and Banta!"" ""They are cute, handsome and we think, they are gorgeous."" ""We give them the vote of |ove."" ""They are smad and gorgeous." "They are rocking."" ""Everywhere." "Santa and Banta."" ""Girls like us and fight over us."" ""They invite us to all their pariies."" ""A|| the parents are ready to give us their girls."" ""Whenever Santa passes by, Billoo opens the window."" ""The flute plays." ""Santa plays the flute."" ""Everywhere." "Santa plays the flute, Banta plays the flute."" ""Santa plays the flute, Banta plays the flute."" ""The flute plays.""