""Not dead are those... who rest in sweet peace in the cold grave, dead are those... who live on with a cold soul."" "Rubén Darío." "2 women in uniform..." "A revolution..." "A poem..." "A memory... of an afternoon 20 years ago..." "Memories of a country that no longer exists." "Our America" "Not dead are those... who rest in sweet peace... in the cold grave..." "Dead are those who live on with a dead soul." "If you look at this photograph?" "It tells me, that there was a moment in our country," "when the women took part... in the conquest of the dreams, liberation from a 50 year dictatorship... and suppression." "With the message, the promise... of a revolution... everybody took to the streets, the children, the women, the men." "It was... like someone..." "Like someone... who sees a promise from afar... that is worth living for." "After that all the young women... joined the battalions." "And they defended their ideals:" "More freedom, more rights..." "Did you join in too?" "Yes." "But not with weapons" "I told... the young and the old." "That it was necessary... to start a revolution, that changes the old system." "A struggle of the farmers and workers, to build a new Nicaragua!" "Somozo has to go, so we can live in peace." "Freedom for our country!" "Going back..." "Why do I expect to recognize, even though I should know better..." "The neoliberal Managua... is not the revolutionary one." "Going back to a place..." "I haven"t been to for 20 years." "I can feel them, the 20 missing years." "A 30-year-old... had turned 50... overnight." "The inner images once more flash up defiantly, before fading away at the sight of the present, only to reappear again... as the lost world:" "As a memory." "I remember a country... that no longer exists." "A country that never existed like this." "I haven"t been to Managua for 20 years." "In those days, Nicaragua was a place of utopia, of revolution, that attracted people." "I also stayed two years to make a fiilm." "But what am I looking for now?" "Armed with a photograph showing a moment... when everything still seemed possible?" "There is only a small sequence of fiilm from..." "Sandino, who gave the revolution its name." "In 1933 he waged... the fiirst guerrilla war in Latin america." "Successfully." "The US occupants left." "Freedom for our country... or death!" "Sandino was murdered maliciously... and was immortalised as a hero and martyr." "Whether his 18 meter statue... is able to brave the Nicaraguan storms... in the long run, remains to be seen." "I fiind myself wanting to... rediscover the two women... in the faces of young women." "I know that to them the picture... of the two Sandinistas is as exotic as it is to women their age in Zurich or Berlin." "The pictures of the revolution... seem strange in neoliberal Nicaragua." "They are a memory of a country, that should never have existed in this way." "The failure of the revolution... defiines the image of history." "The war with... its thousands of dead is Nicaragua"s trauma." "So, how can such a past be mastered?" ""Insofar as... any "mastering" of the past is possible", as Hannah Arendt writes," ""it consists in relating... what has happened;" "but such narration, too, which shapes history, solves no problems and assuages no suffering;" "it does not master anything once and for all." "Rather "mastering of the past"... can take the form of ever recurrent narration." "Are you Josefiina?" " Yes." "Who are you?" " Kristina." "Nice to meet you." "I was told you were... involved with the battalion..." "Rosa María Hernández... was also in the Verónica Lacayo battalion..." "Do you know her?" "I only remember her." "These women have recited a poem... by the great Rubén Darío for us." "Do you know a poem by him?" "When in one of the verses in "Caupolicán" it says:" ""This tree:" "Warrior and fighter."" ""Upon the shoulders of the winner... lay the power of the warrior... to break the chains... they are putting on us now."" "I interpret for you what Ruben Darío... wants to do, not with his words, but with this great boldness and love:" "He made a social accusation." "When you see this photograph, does it recall memories, does it trigger something?" "As I knew Magali before the revolution... it aroused memories from the beginning." "During the uprising of 1978... we had to get hold of weapons." "We had to go to the national guard... and the spies... to get weapons which we didn"t have." "Once I had a gun, a Magnum 22, and we were 10 compañeros in one detachment." "One compañero, Mamerto Bustamante said:" "At midnight we left and he said:" ""I am going back now, I have no weapon."" "In those times it was difficult... to go back on an agreement." "So I said to him:" ""You cannot go back, otherwise you are a traitor."" ""And here we allow... neither traitors nor cowards."" "I took my gun and said:" ""You will not go back because of the weapon, take mine."" "My body was shaking violently." "Terrified I thought:" ""How can I go there without a weapon?"" "So I looked for a stick, such as this one." "It was lying there on the ground." "They said to me: "attack!"." "As I was scared and didn"t want... my hands to be seen..." "Covered... in a black and red piece of shawl I crept... holding the stick forwards, like this..." "We had to climb over a fence." "And we had to show courage." "I walk bent over with the stick like this..." "I know, once I have cleared the fence..." "I am closer to the house." "I go like this with the stick..." "And my nerves..." "I was feeling sick!" "My nerves!" "A compañero who we called..." "Coyunda said to me:" ""We don"t want any cowards, show them, Katy, show your guts, keep going, keep going!"" "I don"t know how... but I clear the fence... and enter the house and say:" ""Don"t move, stay put!"" ""The Sandinista... national liberation front."" "I muster up all my courage..." "It was a stick that I carried, and I go pam pam:" ""We are all coming, the building is surrounded!"" "And my body, ah..." ""Give me the weapons, there are weapons here..." ""Hands up"." "The man advances with a pistol..." ""Don"t switch the light on!"" "If they switched on the light... they would of course see the stick..." ""Don"t move, hands up!"" ""Put that weapon down!"" "When I reach the weapon I quickly... put down the stick and pick up the pistol..." "Once the pistol is in my hand, my hands begin to shake..." ""What am I going to do with the pistol?"" "For I couldn"t... handle this kind of pistol." "It was... a 9 millimeter." "I was scared, but basically I was happy." "Years later I am still nervous." "My heart... as if it were all real." "There are so many nice things... worth remembering... to honour the women." "The circumstances were different, the prospects were different..." "We always carried the vision inside us, that it would be different here." "Once it was different." "Now it is no longer different, now it is... completely different from our expectations." "At least from my expectations." "So many sacrifices, so much effort... for what we have now, that is painful." "Very painful, because we adapted a common dynamic." "And what happened... to the famous Sandinista mystique?" "The dead obtain... the mystique." "We survivors... experienced it in a particular moment." "I believe we have lost it." "We have lost it mainly... because we are no longer linked as we were." "There is no longer a real organic life... that allows you to carry on," "to take a look at yourself, to see... where you are going, to weigh things up." "I believe in a particular moment... we possessed a lot of mystique." "A lot of mystique to defend the revolution, to reach for the weapons, to..." "Why did you call it mystique, and not ideology?" "People who died near me... said to me: "Keep going."" "In agony they said: "keep going, don"t stay, we will win."" "I have some poems." "A boy from Chinandega called Isidro Valle... arrived with a bullet wound." "And I said:" ""We will take you to hospital, jumping from ditch to ditch."" ""Lt"s all over for me now, but don"t stop, keep going."" "These words stayed in my mind," "I wrote a poem for him:" ""The circumstances"." "And this is... how I define mystique:" "Having taken a decision... to do something, having defined yourself." "We regret... leaving our families behind, but the defence of the sovereignty... of our country is fundamental." "Loving our country with words is not enough, you also need to defend it, to leave our children a decent... and glorious future." "The women go to war." "Against the Contras, an army of mercenaries, fiinanced by the US." "Nicaragua was the Vietnam of my generation." "I think I would walk with a bowed head, if I hadn"t fought against the most cruel... dictatorship of Latin America." "To look my children... and later my grandchildren... in the eyes..." "At least they should remember someone, who left them... a better country, rather than... as shameful a dictatorship as Somoza"s." "I will never regret it, it"s a part of my life." "These are your life"s great deeds:" "You think about them - and you act." ""Honourable National Assembly," "People of Nicaragua." "Counselled by the governments... with a genuine interest... in peace for this country," "I decided to comply with the decree... of the American States... and therefore renounce the presidency, the people elected me to." "I fought against communism... and believe that I will be proved right... by history once the truth has come out."" "A. SOMOZA, PRESIDENTOF THE REPUBLIC." "July 17, 1979" "With these words did not only..." "Nicaragua"s president resign..." "These were also... the parting words of the owner of:" "30º/ª of Nicaragua"s land, rice, tobacco and coffee plantations, the general representative of Mercedes Benz, the airline LANICA, the shipping company MAMENIC, the harbour services marítima Mundial, the harbour installations puerto Somoza," "the hotel chain "Hoteles de Nicaragua S.A.", the newspaper Diario Novedades, the fishing company PESCANICA, the sugar refiinery central de Ingenios, the construction company CASANICA, the asbestos cement factory NICALIT, the cement factory cementera Nacional," "the metal processing company METASA, the textile factories EL PORVENIR, the paper factory ENVASES YCARTONES, banks such as BANCO DE CENTRO AMERICA, the slaughter houses CARNIC, and the chief shareholder... of the blood plasma factory plasmaféresis." "The people called the blood plasma factory..." ""the house of the vampires"." "Here, blood was taken from prisoners, and poor people... suffering from malnutrition were able... to sell their blood for a few pesos." "The factory was under license... of the US Food and Drug administration... and sold the blood mainly to..." "Western Europe and to the United States." "This used to be the Rubén Darío Salon, where the last important event was... the handing over of Somoza"s power." "Then the Sandinista came, and I had to serve them just like Somoza before." "Everybody was very happy, pleased about the change, but... after a few days we could see the difference." "I even spent 4 days in prison... for serving General Somoza." "We were wrong, as the Sandinista had made so many promises." "They cheated us with their promises." "Before leaving the country Somoza said, we would be begging him on our knees... to return." "After a short time it was... exactly how he predicted:" "Everything had been better under Somoza." "You know, good clothes..." "You are treated according to your appearance." "If you are badly dressed you are treated badly, if you are well dressed you are treated better." "During the era of the Sandinista they... didn"t want to see people in suits and ties, only sports shirts, casual clothing." "Who doesn"t like... to dress well and look elegant?" "Differences and classes are necessary." "We cannot all be poor, and we cannot all be rich." "Some people must have money... so they can give work to those... who have no money." "Things are unaffordable for proletarians." "An employee... with a low salary cannot eat here, the price of a meal is 200 Cordobas." "If it were 10, everybody would come here." "You are always in the middle, someone is in front of you and someone behind." "You have to try to reach the one in front... and to avoid the one behind catching you up." "To sit here and order an espresso... without feeling guilty..." "In 1985 the Intercontinental... was the only place in Managua... with a breakfast buffet." "That was of course frowned upon and decadent... to those devoted to the revolution." "But after months of rice and beans... we allowed our desire for food... to triumph over our moral." "It was affordable for us." "We were more equal then too." "While I"m waiting for Don Herty," "Managuas mayor, a Sandinista," "I watch Don Francisco... and think of the long-haired... very casually dressed foreigners, a colourful bunch of internationalists... who used to dream while eating breakfast, that one day... the Intercontinental would be affordable to all." "During the eighties a lot of young people came." "What did you think of these people?" "At that time, after the change... from Somoza to the Sandinista, a lot of strange people came here." "People with long hair, with various bad odours, people from countries such as Bulgaria, countries who were politically left wing." "The people with class and money didn"t come... to do business here." "Rich people were scared to come here... and to invest in this country." "You know each other, don"t you?" "Don Francisco Ramírez, he has been working at the hotel for 30 years." "Do you know the mayor?" "Don Lewites, of course." "It was a long time ago." " How are you?" " Very well, Don Herty." "He will always be young." "Despite everything..." "Did you know each other then?" " 20 years ago..." " Of course." " How is your family?" " Fine, Don Herty..." " Do you always work here?" " Always." "May I?" "What memories do you have of this hotel?" "People used to polemicize against this hotel, because... 85 - 90 º/º of it belongs to the Somoza family." "I remember how all of us used to come here... in our military uniforms, with our guns etc..." "It was like an operations centre, the Sandinista... had taken it over completely." "All the rooms." "Hundreds of militia men used to live here." "When they presented us with the bill, we owed thousands of dollars." "The commanders asked:" ""What is going on?"" "And they said:" ""You are the minister of tourism... and responsible for the hotel."" "So I said:" ""We already owe... 200"000 dollars for food and accommodation."" "And they said:" ""Get out" and they all left." "There were also thousands... who took part... in the battalions." "There were 30"000 women... who took part in those battalions at that time, incredible." "They had a vision." "That is to say, life in Nicaragua will change." "Our children will grow up in a world that is... more equal for everyone..." "Her smile... as pretty as can be." "25 years later... there are many who say:" ""Why did we fight, if things got worse in Nicaragua, so much blood was shed here."" ""After 25 years, there is still no work, and neither education nor public... health services are available to everyone."" "All this then is important, because those women can already... have 18 or 20-year-old children." "Where are the women?" "I am looking for this person, don"t you know her?" "Have you seen Magali?" "There?" "Does she work here?" "No, she is a lawyer, she often comes here." "Is she here today?" "Yes, in the hall, the 1st or 2nd door on the right." "Yes, that was in the camp in the mountains." "That is you, isn"t it?" "Yes, we were mobilised after the revolution." "With the Verónica Lacayo battalion, the second infantery brigade." "There were several battalions:" "4014, 1728, 2332..." "Do you remember?" "Yes, it was a company of women... of the Verónica Lacayo battalion." "And the other one?" "She is a compañera." "What is her name?" "Mercedes, I think..." "Contreras..." "I think, I don"t remember exactly." "It was so long ago..." "You don"t know anything about her?" "No, I haven"t seen her... since our demobilisation." "That was in the prime of my youth!" "I ask the people here... if they have a lawyer," "I offer them my services if they don"t." "That is... how most of the lawyers... live here in Nicaragua:" "We look for the clients, not the other way round!" "During the time we were mobilised... which was 6 months... we fought against the machismo of the men, who don"t respect women, see them as sex objects and good for the kitchen." "We have inherited... this machismo, that"s why we have to fight... to make them accept us." "We educate them... because we consider them... as one of us." "We love them, but we ourselves want to experience... what they have suffered, that"s why... we continue to fight, to make our men understand, that we feel and see... what they are doing." "We definitely don"t want to fight against them..." "The idea was good, but I don"t like war." "You don"t like war?" "I don"t like war, because people die." "During this era... there wasn"t much to be done, things were restricted, not everybody could go to school." "And the war itself:" "A lot of innocent people lost their lives." "I think they should have invested... in something else instead of the war." "He knows little about history." "Maybe it"s due to a lack of communication, we have never talked about it." "But after the war... the Frente gave me... a scholarship to study law." "We owe many things to the Frente." "I didn"t dare ask Magali, a convinced Sandinista, why she didn"t tell her sons more." "Is she ashamed of the failure?" "Or does the memory hurt... as past comes back, forcing her to the following conclusion:" "The revolution is over." "Perhaps the problems... of the present are too overwhelming... to be able to afford the luxury of remembering, as it provides no solutions." "We want some cake now, even if it"s only a small piece!" "Two women in uniform, a revolution, a poem..." "Who is the other woman in the photograph?" "Is she still alive?" "Has she, like many others, emigrated to Costa Rica or to the US?" "Nobody knows anything specific, everybody knows something, and somebody thought... she had died..." "Of course I remember her, she sang a nice song for us:" ""Everlasting Love"." "Everlasting love..." "Unforgettable..." "Sooner or later..." "I will be with you again." "I will continue to love you..." "I remember how you filmed us... when we returned from the battalion." "I left this daughter at a very young age, now she is a doctor." "This is her daughter and this is my other one..." "Would you leave your daughter... behind for a mobilisation?" "If necessary I would." "As a doctor I would go... and help the people." "Do you remember her name?" "One of her sisters lives in this street." "Do you know her name?" "No, but I know her." "The intention of the revolution was good, but human beings are capable of nothing." "And the benefit:" "To work... merely to enrich yourself is bad." "That"s why I prefer to work for God." "The revolutionary process... was beautiful." "I liked it very much, but now I belong to Jesus Christ." "San Benito is a saint... who fulfils all our requests." "I owe him two promises for my sons." "My elder son... was born with one eye smaller." "The deformation was very obvious." "The doctors suggested plastic surgery, but without means, no operation." "So I asked San Benito to redo the eye." "And after some time... the eye became normal." "The second miracle:" "My younger son... was seen with no arms at the echogram." "I was desperate... and asked San Benito... to make him all in one piece." "When my son was born..." "I asked if he was all in one piece." "I could see that nothing was missing." "So I promised San Benito..." "I would remember... and honour him every year." "To the right." "The fiirst one?" " Yes." " Thank you." "At your service!" "She will be right here." " Are you Cecilia?" " Yes." " You don"t remember me?" " No." "Do you remember being... in the battalion together?" "Yes, in the Verónica Lacayo battalion." "We have been looking for you." "Do you remember this photograph?" "I would like to see it." "Do you remember us being there?" "Yes, in Santrita, right?" "It was such a long time ago." "Yes, I was a girl, about 16..." "We were celebrating your birthday." "Yes, the 15th." " Your 15th?" " Yes." "Yes." "I am married and have 4 children." "Come here!" "Roxanna," "Barbara," "José León, the little one." "We call him "bald head", because he is a rascal." "Would you like to come in?" "So one of the few... happily married women?" "A little bit happy, but there are always problems, financial problems." "I work for..." "Avon." "For women, they sell cosmetics." "We don"t earn much, but at least it helps." "My husband helps more, he works with household appliances," "TVs, mixers, irons, microwaves, washing machines, ventilators, sewing machines..." "That was... when I met her in the army..." "Are you still in the party?" "Yes, we will be Sandinista until we die." ""Not dead are those... who rest in sweet peace... in the cold grave, dead are those... who live on with a cold soul."" "This poem by Rubén Darío... inspired me, as many people had died... during the fight." "They said:" "This one died, that one died..." "I said, the fallen are not dead, we are dead," "because we have a cold soul." "You had a cold soul?" "Yes, we had... a cold soul." "What do you mean?" "Because of our nerves, because we were homesick, we also felt dead because we never knew... if we would wake up dead." "It is right that we are happy for those... who came back." "But it is also right... that we honour those... who never came back." "To tell the world, the North American people:" "Here are our tears, here is our blood and our pain!" "From the "Ode to Roosevelt" by Ruben Dario, written in 1904:" "You are the United States, future invader of our naive America... with its Indian blood, an America that still prays to Christ... and still speaks Spanish." "You think that life is a fire," "That progress is an irruption," "That the future is wherever... your bullet strikes." "No." "The America, where the noble Cuathémoc said:" ""I am not on a bed of roses" - our America trembling with hurricanes, living with Love:" "O men with Saxon eyes and barbarous souls, our America lives." "And dreams." "And loves." "And vibrates." "And it is the daughter of the Sun." "Be careful." "Long live Spanish America!" "A thousand cubs of the Spanish lion... are roaming free." "Roosevelt, you must become, by God"s own will, the deadly Rifleman... and the dreadful Hunter, before you can clutch us in your iron claws." "And though you have everything, you are lacking one thing:" "God!" "Somebody said to me at the time:" "Even if you know everything about my country, its history, its geography, its economy, you won"t understand anything." "Once you understand Rubén Darío, you will see Nicaragua"s soul." "Can I... as a European... really understand Rubén Darío?" "Rubén Darío, the poet of Latin America." "Rubén Darío, the Indio... who renewed the language of the invaders " "Spanish - in his poetry and... made it shine." "Both my brothers... and I swore:" ""Freedom for our country or death", to win or to die, and that would always be our motto." "How come... a son from a good family?" "Not only I, the whole family was against Somoza... without taking any action against him." "My father was even in business... with some Somozistas, with ministers..." "At my secondary school however... we were all against Somoza." "I joined the fight... and when I was 18 or 19 I realised..." "Somoza couldn"t possibly be... overthrown through elections, because he always cheated." "Therefore... a group of friends decided... to overthrow him." "We bought weapons to take over barracks." "I did one thing after another, ended in prison... had to go into exile, came back..." "Your brother Israel was killed..." "When Israel was murdered in 1977 I thought:" "Now I have more responsibilities than ever." "I had recruited him." "Whenever I do something," "I think of him... and many others who are dead... with the ethical responsibility:" "I cannot disappoint you," "I have to continue your struggle, in which you dreamt... of a beautiful country." "Thousands dreamt... and they did more than just dreaming:" "Still, Magali couldn"t... make her son understand... what had moved her." "I also sometimes fiind it difficult... to remember the Nicaragua... that used to be a hope." "But I come and go." "Thus I can afford the luxury... of heroically refusing... to dismiss the hope we had then... as a misapprehension of reality." "Thousands dreamt... and they did more than just dreaming." "Women break away, a people sends a dictator to hell, or rather, to the US." "Revolutionary priests, poets as ministers, literacy campaigns, redistribution... a whole country in motion." "Everything is wildly improvised, absurd, inconsistent, tragic, painful, but defiinitely fully alive." "That was my Nicaragua." "That was no dream, that was a country that existed." "Thousands throughout the world... did more than just dream." "Sometimes they risked their lives... but they considered it to be more important... to work in a foreign country, to pick coffee in a brigade, rather than worry about their own career." "The fact that this situation didn"t last... says nothing about the power of this reality." "Well, in the end Goliath... was not impressed by David"s little stones." "But nothing is nicer than the feeling... of lifting the catapult... and attempting the impossible." "Those who speak of pointless sacrifices... should be told that it was never about sacrifices, it was about decisions... to do with life... and nothing but life." "I met Yvan... from the Jura in Switzerland... when we fiilmed brigades." "He was very proud... to have organised the fiirst international... brigade of workers." "Whether I like that?" "Well, no one likes... to share a house with 50 people." "Hygiene is really a problem." "The problem is... that there is no other solution!" "Could it be that you love adventures?" "No, for me that is no longer the case." "I did that... during 1978/79 in Bolivia, pleasure drives, they were adventures." "But what we are experiencing now " "I don"t think... you can call that an adventure." "It is rather... political work... in view of solidarity, direct help for Nicaragua, the farmers... and... it is mainly... an anti-imperialist struggle - so no adventure!" "That"s it!" "Do we work here or what?" "The Nicas called him lovingly... the red haired madman, because he was full of strange ideas." "For example building... a swimming pool for children... in a poor mountain village in the midst of a war!" "Yvan was famous in the whole area:" "The way he raced over the mountain roads... in his cream-coloured truck... with his favourite music playing loudly:" "Carmen!" "On this 28th of July..." "I met Yvan in Marañoza." "He gave some final instructions... for the construction... of a housing estate." "His departure... was more or less a fact, as his work here was finished." "We agreed... how we would drive." "I asked Yvan:" ""Do you want to be in front or behind?"" "Yvan answered:" ""Listen, Anibal, it"s better... if I am behind you."" "About 40 metres from here..." "I heard a shot." "I knew immediately... that the Contras had laid an ambush." "The horrifying, painful thing was, as was the nature of this war, the way the Contra... dealt with the wounded." "Yvan was badly hurt... and they came... and fiinished him off brutally." "Hello parents, fiirst a big kiss to everyone." "We are not doing too badly." "As you can read in the newspapers, there is a war here." "But what kind of a war!" "We work and flight... for a just cause, confronted with the aggression of the US... who want no justice for Nicaragua... and no development." "Their government approves 100 million dollars... to attack, to lay mines... and to kill farmers and workers." "This time I wasn"t ambushed," "I think I am still lucky." "I was born under a lucky star, thanks, Mum!" "But perhaps tomorrow my turn will come," "I write this coldly... because I know, that"s how it is." "If I have to sacrifice my life, it is for a beautiful... and good cause:" "It is for the poor..." "I have decided... that if I die I would like to stay in Nicaragua." "At the moment..." "I have fun, I work, am full of energy and enjoy the tropical sun!" "See you soon." "I love you both," "Yvan, June 1986." "It is really beautiful..." "Yes, as if we were in the US." "This is just like being in Miami..." "And it points to... the progress that has been made in Nicaragua." "When such a company... invests 2 millions..." "This is already the third operation of this kind." " It shows the progress." " And it"s creating jobs." "Let"s remember that we were... confronted with the superpower," "the US." "And also with the Catholic Church, humanity"s oldest party." "How were we able to hold on so long?" "It was impossible." "So much was against us:" "A permanent campaign, the Catholic Church, the private sector, the US, a permanent war of aggression, it was impossible." "When the Sandinistas lost the election in 1990, how did you feel that day?" "At about 10 o"clock at night..." "I cried for an hour and a half, streams of tears." "That helped." "I may have cried like that as a child, but never since I"m a man." "It was so painful." "My own brother died in the war, which affected me very badly, but it was harder... when we lost." "Then I thought:" "With all the weapons we have, with over 150"000 armed young men and women, why should we give up on the revolution... if we possess the military power?" "That was the great maturity... of the Frente Sandinista, accepting what the people wanted." "The parting president..." "Daniel Ortega Saavedra... hands the presidential ribbon... to the elected president..." "Violeta Barrios de Chamorro." "The country that should never have been like this, ceased to exist and became the country... it never wanted to be." "A government approved by the US was elected." "The Contra lost their jobs." "Democracy." "Peace." "Normality..." ""l"m surprised that my mother-in-law... hasn"t been privatised yet!", said Herty." "And the Sandinista party... became a normal party... with normal incidents and normal scandals:" "Corrupt, perfectly normal." ""It is now a third-world-country... like all the others", wrote Traute, who was our roommate... when everything still seemed possible." "Most of the internationalists... left along with the hope." "Traute stayed." "I have to..." "lock myself in now, as you see, but that"s the way it is." "I still don"t know which key it is either." "Next time..." "I will have even more." "Well," "I have a big machete, and if necessary I use it, we are well prepared, in case something happens." "When the guy up there wanted to break in..." "I ranted and raved..." "looking for the right words... in Spanish." "I told him to get lost." "And he did." "My words chased him off, so I haven"t used the machete ever." " Would you use the machete if?" " Definitely." "I wouldn"t chop his head off," "I don"t know if I could do that." "But I would threaten him and chase him, that"s for sure." "I get so furious... if somebody tries to steal from me... or wants to harass me," "I get really furious." "During the 80s I could participate in many things." "And look now!" "Water is being privatised!" "Terrible!" "What do we do?" "Nobody does anything." "You can"t do a thing." "That"s ugly." "It is as if you were chained up." "That"s why I often said to Eveling:" "I don"t want to see or hear any more." "Our grandparents... said the same:" ""We don"t want to see the news anymore."" "Lt"s the same over and over again." "It is nice if you don"t yet know... that it all repeats itself:" "When you are young, it"s nice." "When you fly!" "The dreams... we could realise... were crushed." "A process which made you... continually grow has been interrupted, but the thought, the idea, hasn"t." "The process was crushed, the ideas weren"t." "And then..." "Even though you appear to be sleeping... it"s going through your head, you see the news, read the papers, meet friends... which initiates a process of reflection, but also... of disappointment," "of frustration." "However, you had to experience this moment, and if you didn"t, you had missed it." "Almost 15 years... have passed since a dream was lost." "A dream of many, not a dream of a group... who had power." "It was a dream of thousands..." "Yours, mine, Traute"s, my mother"s, my sister"s." "It is very difficult... to believe in something again, because at that moment... you had everything... and it was... impossible to realise... and now, even if you... really want to get it back," "life"s context is different:" "One"s personal situation, the emotional one, the one in the country too." "I wished for a park, a kind of Disneyland." "I knew Disney"s parks in the US... and decided... to call this project Hertylandia." "I hope... it will become as famous as Disneyland." "Would you like that?" "I don"t think there is anybody... who doesn"t want to triumph in life." "When Disney created Disneyland... the whole of humanity recognised... that it brought happiness, especially to children." "I don"t think the Sandinista dream... will end." "Because the song as such is very beautiful." "The singers are not always... the way we would like them to be." "So you have to..." "look out for new singers... to turn the Sandinista revolution... into reality." "The Sandinist revolution will not die, it will not die." ""Our America, trembling with hurricanes, living on love:" "O men with Saxon eyes and barbarous souls" "Our America lives." "And dreams." "And loves." "And vibrates." "And it is the daughter of the Sun."" "The America... which the Indio Rubén Darío... implores in the language of the invaders... is a land that does not exist, that never existed," "but still is alive every moment." "If the aim of my return... was to wake up, then I have achieved it now." "And Rubén Darío"s language... seems more real to me... than the neon slogans of the trademarks... of a united world." "Through wherever they passed, our ancestors... brought all the people... the following message:" "I walk towards my father the sun... without hurting mother earth." "That"s what our Orcano ancestors... said in Mexican... when they came from California to Guerrero... and founded Tlaca next to Oaxaca." "We would be lying if we said... we have a good future ahead of us!" "That depends..." "Maybe if there were another revolution, but there is always a price to pay, and think of all the victimes... and shortages..." "In reality we are up to our necks in problems... and need to break out." "It is a lie, only another revolution... can salvage the situation here." "Nobody will bring them down, only a war." "They are provoking a war." "Either we die from hunger... sitting in a hammock like me now, or we die for a just cause." "You go with your arms like this... and my hands through here..." ""The tree is happy... because it is scarcely sentient..." "The hard rock is happier still, it feels nothing." "For there is no pain as great... as being alive." "No burden heavier... than the awareness of living." "To be... and to lack a way..." "And the dread of having been... and future horrors..." "And the certain horror... of being dead tomorrow." "And the flesh... seducing with its fresh grapes." "And the grave... waiting with its sombre branches." "And not to know... where we go, nor whence we come!"" "Rubén Darío"