"I think it's really dangerous to seek personal fulfillment through romantic relationships." "I do." "I'm just letting you know." "FYI." "Uh..." "You shouldn't need other people to validate or define you." "I shouldn't?" "No, you shouldn't." "Nobody should." "Oh, yeah." "No." "Totally." " Can I get you something to drink?" " No, thank you." "Drinking is basic AF." "Oh, yeah." "I guess." "I'll get you some waters." " Thank you." " Awesome." " Totes presh." " Totes presh." " What?" " Totes presh." "So, uh..." " have you been on Tinder long or..." " All right." "I'm gonna stop you right there because I'm not loving the whole vibe of this interaction so far." "And I would literally rather have my period for a thousand years, non-stop, than continue this portion of the conversation." "Huh?" "You mentioned something earlier about wanting to bone?" " Oh." "Yeah." "Yeah." " See right here on Tinder, we matched." " Right." " Awesome." "And then, I texted you, "Hi."" "And you said, "S'up?" And I was like, "Not much."" " And then you said, "Want to bone." - "Want to bone?" I guess I did." " Do you remember that?" " I..." "I guess I do." "Yeah." "So, did you come here tonight expecting to bone?" " Yes." " It's not gonna happen." "Well, what happened?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Kind of." "It's like, when I walked in, you just shook my hand." "Well, what should I have done?" "I don't know." "Maybe you should have, like, grabbed me by the shoulders, and whispered something real sexy in my ear." " Like what?" " Like..." ""Go in the bathroom and take off your panties." "I want to smell 'em."" "And you would have done that if I told you to do that?" "Maybe." "I don't know." "There's a huge chance I would have just punched you in your ding-a-ling." "But who knows?" "Sort of in this weird transitional phase in my life where I don't know what I'm gonna do next." " I'm going through a really bad breakup." " Oh." " Yeah." "It sucks." " Yeah." "That's really the only reason why either of us are here right now." " What does that mean?" " He usually comes on Fridays." "So I was hoping that he'd catch us together, and then he would freak out" " and be like super devastated." " Wait, what?" "Oh, my God." "He's here." "He's here." " He's here right now." " Are you kidding?" "He's here now?" "Oh, frick me." "He's brought a date, and she's super-hot." "I didn't even know he liked girls like that." " Don't turn around!" " Well, what do you want me to do?" "I don't know." "Act like we're gonna have sex later." "How do you act like you're going to have sex?" "Be sexual." "Do you want me to have to figure this out for you?" " Figure it out." " I..." "Hey, Jess." "Hey, Damon." "It's great to see you've moved on already." "After only two-and-a-half months of not dating." "Three-and-a-half months, actually." "But..." "Hi." "I'm Heather." "I'm sure you are." "What's that supposed to mean?" " You tell me." " Yeah." "Um..." "We're gonna go eat outside." " But, um, nice to see you, Jess." "Honestly." " Mm-hm." "Wish I could say the same to you." "But I can't." "Because you broke my heart into a million little pieces." "Take a deep breath in." "And out." "Deep breath in." "And out." "Deep breath in." "And out." "Hands out of your pockets, please." "Right at your sides." "Oh, boy." "Okay." "Now, close your eyes." "I want you to imagine that you're on the beach." " What beach?" " Any beach." "San Diego Beach?" "That would be included in the options for any beach, yes." "I hate beaches." "Okay." "Just imagine it anyway." "It's a sunny day." "There's a sweet breeze in the air." "You take off your shoes and you wiggle your toes in the sand." "Did I bring sunscreen?" "No, you didn't." "But your mom did." "And she's rubbing it on your back right now." "Tell me what you see." " Water." " Good." "Is it calm?" "Or are there waves?" "Waves." "Tell me what you hear." "I hear the waves?" "People splashing." "Laughing." "I don't hear anything." "That's okay." "Just relax and try." "What do you smell?" " Suntan lotion." " Salt." "Hamburgers." "Seaweed." "What do you feel?" "Good." "Warm." " Hungry." " Happy." "I don't feel anything." "Well, what's that like?" "I don't know." "It doesn't feel like anything?" "All right, let's try something else." "I want you to think about feeling nothing." "And, I mean, really think about it." "And I want you to write a paragraph on it for class next week." "Four sentences minimum." "Do you think you can do that?" "Do I have to?" "This is theater, Shandra." "We don't have to do any of this." "We do it simply because we must." "What?" "What do you assholes know, anyway?" "Hm?" ""Oh, nothing." "We're just collectively responsible"" "for the success of every major dramatic writer" ""in the past 100 years."" "Oh, okay." "Tight." "I can get over us not being together." "Really, I can." "Look at me." "I'm tall, I'm pretty, I'm smart." "I am a coco queen." "Obviously, I will have many great loves in my life." "It's just..." "I feel like I lost my best friend and it really sucks." " Are those for the guests?" " Yes." "All right." "So, we're done here?" " Hi." " Hi." " What are you doing?" " Oh, yes." " This is exactly what I want." " No, no, no." "We're supposed to be serving this stuff." " It's so good." " Mm-hm." "You know, when you invited me to come here," "I thought I would be a guest, not serving." "It's $500 a ticket." "And I thought you needed the money." " Oh, I do need the money." " You're gonna get us both fired." "Relax, girl." "These are my people." "I'm mingling." "Okay, this is like, old money, theater-subscribing Manhattan." "These are so not your people." "Have you been talking to them about Damon?" "Yeah, yeah, but..." "I'm going through a process right now." "Okay, I'm standing in my own truth." " Dude, you need to get out." " I am out." "No, no, you need to go on a date." "A real one." "Ew, no." "Dating's the worst." "Have you ever actually seen a man eat?" "Like, there's never been a grosser thing." "I've seen a live birth before." "And it's still not close to a man eating a piece of chicken." "Oh, my God!" "I actually know somebody." " Is he cute?" " Yes." "What's his deal?" "He's divorced." "Tasha, there has never been a redder flag." "It's perfect." "You guys can just rebound right off of each other." "On to each other and into each other, and just like..." " Are you talking about sex?" " Hetero-ing..." "Yes." " How old is he?" " Thirty." "Tops." "Maybe just a little older." "And he's already failed at marriage?" "So, what?" "Life is just a series of failures in the first place." "So..." " What?" " What?" "He is nice." " You'll have fun." " I don't want to have fun." "What do you want?" " You ready?" " Yeah, I'm ready." "You're about to win the award for best playwright ever of all time." "Really?" "I don't even know they made that award." "Well, they just made it for you." " For me?" " Mm-hm." " Oh, my gosh." "Thank you, everybody." " Mm-hm." "So, we're at the ceremony and you don't know you're about to get it." " What do I think we're here for?" " I don't know." " Hamilton?" " Keep going." "Then, Oprah comes out." "And she announces to the whole world that you are the best playwright" " in the history of the universe." " In the history of the universe." "And you turn to me, and..." "Hey, Oprah knows my name!" "Oprah knows my name." "Oprah knows my name!" " So..." " I like this future." " It's pretty cool, right?" " Yeah." "Mm." "So, um, Tasha tells me you're a playwright." "Yeah." "I write plays." "That's something that I do." "Have you written anything I might have seen?" "Do you see a lot of plays?" "Did you write Hamilton?" "Have you seen Hamilton?" " No." " No." "No, I didn't write Hamilton." "I haven't had a play produced in New York." "Oh." "I have had interest from a small handful of theater companies, though." "And they want to work with me, so..." "I'm just waiting." "Right place, right time, so I can make my mark." "I don't know anything about theater." "It's pretty much all I care about." "Well, that's great." "That you're committed to something you love." "Why did you get divorced?" "That's a pretty brutal transition." "Don't you think?" "No offense, but I don't even know if I wanna be here right now." "Oh, wow, why would I be offended by that?" "I don't know, Tasha thought this would be good for me." "To help me get over this guy I thought I was in love with." "But, to be honest, this whole thing is making me think of him more intensely." "Oh, yeah?" "How so?" "I'm just really reminded of how much of him you're not." "Cool." "I mean, I get it." "Um..." "You are the complete opposite to my ex-wife." "What is she?" "Dumb, short, and fugly?" "What I meant was... compared to her, you are much more... forthright." "Honesty is, like, the only thing that matters to me." "Oh, yeah." "I believe in honesty." " Really?" " Mm-hm." "So, can we be totally honest with each other?" "Absolutely." "Why are you here?" "Well, it's been a little while since my divorce." "Bleh." "And I thought if this went well, then we could make out later." "You just want to make out?" "Why did you say that you think you were in love with your ex?" "I don't know." "It's complicated." "We were together for two years, and then he just sort of gave up on us." "I'm sorry." "That must be rough." "Why did you get married?" "I think I was in a hurry to get on with my life." "What went wrong?" "I'm still figuring that out." "But I'm pretty sure it was her fault." "You have a great smile." "What's your go-to karaoke song?" "I do not care for karaoke." "Really?" "Boo, dude." "You're booing me when I'm being honest?" "You're right." "I'm sorry." "That was rude." "How do you pay your rent?" "I work at a non-profit in Hell's Kitchen." "I teach public school kids how to write and produce their own plays." "So, how do you pay your rent?" "I, uh, I live in deep Bushwick." "Like, deep, deep, deep Bushwick." "What about you?" "I invented an app." "Thank you." "Okay, well, thanks." "This was interesting." "In, like, an anthropological way." "I'm gonna take that as a compliment." "Oh." "Yeah, I guess you could." "Look, I don't want to disappoint you or anything, but..." "I don't think we should make out." "Don't worry." "I gave up on that idea halfway through the meal." "I enjoyed being honest with you." " That's the only way to be, so..." " All right." "Well, good night." "Oh, we're hugging." "Good night." " Are you going this way, too?" " Yeah." "That's awkward." "I wouldn't say this is any more or less awkward than every other part of the night." "That's funny." "You're funny." "Yeah." "I'm also good at cunnilingus." "Well, that's good to know." "So, which way do you go now?" "What?" ""You can talk, but no one hears you."" "You can see, but can't be seen." "Nothing you do matters to anyone." " "It feels like you don't exist."" " Wow." "That was amazing." "That was really well put." "Shandra, do you feel like that a lot?" "I don't know." "Has anybody in this room ever felt like that?" "Raise your hand if you have." "Girl, you just articulated a pretty complicated feeling that everybody in this room can relate to." "How does that make you feel?" "Uh..." "Hey, everybody, guess what?" " What?" " What?" "This is your one and only life." "What do you want to tell people about it?" "Damon?" " What the hell are you doing out here?" " I've been thinking, all right?" " Yeah?" " Yeah, I made a lot of mistakes." "Damon." "I should have never let you go." "Damon, this is literally so crazy." "Please come off the ledge." "I can't." "I won't go on without you." "You're being so melodramatic right now." "I live on the second floor." "I need to tell you how I feel." "Okay." "Fine." "How do you feel?" "I..." "I don't know." "You hurt me a lot." "You know that, right?" "I know." "I know, okay?" "I'm an asshole." " You know, I'm just gonna jump right now." " No, no, no!" "Wait, wait, wait!" "You smell like Vick's medicated vapor rub." "What?" "You smell like Vick's medicated vapor rub." "What do you mean, like, right now, or..." "Yeah, like, right now." "Like, usually, always." "It's kind of been your thing ever since we first met." "Well, why didn't you tell me this before?" "I don't know." "I guess I didn't wanna hurt your feelings." "But, you know, here we are." "Well, what else did you want to tell me?" "Um..." "You're not as funny as you think you are." "Okay, now, you're just..." "Whoa!" "Oh, my God!" " Yeah?" " Hey." "Are you busy?" "I need to go out." "♪ If you listen close You might hear the sound ♪" "♪ Well, I would never let you down ♪" "♪ I thought you were a man of action ♪" " Hey." " Hey." "I'm getting a lot of inquiries regarding your status." "Yeah." "It's my raw feminine energy." "It really fucks up the room." "Yeah, that's actually what most of the girls are saying." "Hey, ladies!" "You're all queens." "Or however you choose to identify." " Woo-hoo!" " Woo!" "Hey, what kind of vibe are you rocking with these days?" "Hm?" "I need some recommendations." "You mean, like, what is the one vibrator I'm using?" " Yeah." " Do you only have one vibrator?" "Do you have more than one vibrator?" "Uh, has one man ever fulfilled all of your needs?" "There was one." " Hm." " Bullshit aside." "He was pretty dope at sex." "Oh, how did the date go with the divorced dude?" "I spent the night with him." "You ended up spending the night with him?" "Yeah, you said he was cool." "Yeah, no, I don't actually know him that well." "I only did it because you said you knew him." "No, I just acted in a diversity workshop at a retreat for his app." "You spent the night with him!" "You are so baller!" "Well, it wasn't even like that, dude." "There was no P and V penetration." "Oh, well, what did you do?" "Everything else?" "Oh, my God." "Anal?" "What?" "No!" "Are you crazy?" "Anal?" "Well, do you like him?" "I'm not even sure if I like dudes anymore." "Well, let me know if you wanna make out because I would totally be into helping you transition." "You know, just to see how it feels." "Appreciate it, but I'm going to stick with this basic peen for a while." "Mm." "You know, he was very thoughtful in his role-playing during our sexual harassment scenarios." " Really?" " Mm-hm." "What's his app called?" "Oh, I don't know." "It's like a Tinder thing for people that have herpes." " What?" " Joking." "Everybody scream as loud as you possibly can." "Oh, my God." "That was awful." "Now, you're on a trampoline." "Boing, boing, boing." "Who can backflip?" "Just kidding." "Don't do that, it's a liability." "Hands up in the sky." "High, high, high." "Get on your tippy-toes." "Now, wiggle your fingers like your tickling a giant." " Except he's got armpit hair." " Ew!" "Gross." "Gross, gross." "Okay, you just dropped your ice cream and you don't have money to buy a new one." " Oh, shit!" " Kayla." "Valid reaction." "Don't say shit." " Oops." " Your best friend moves to Hawaii." "Send me a postcard." "It's too hot there." "You get stood up at your own wedding." "Woo!" "Marriage is an outdated social construct anyway." " I don't care." "I don't care." " I don't care." "I don't care." "I don't care." "I don't care." "All right, guys, great job today." "Also, don't forget that I need your permission slips for our writer's weekend coming up." "And I haven't gotten anything from anybody except for Shandra." "Seriously, don't forget to ask your parents." "Or I will do it myself." "I will make it weird." "Kayla?" "Seriously." "Hey, Ms. James?" "Hey." "You okay?" "I can't go to the writer's weekend." "What?" "Why?" "Shandra, no, you're the only one who turned in your permission slip." "I'm sorry." "Is somebody coming to pick you up?" "I wanna see..." "Oh, there it is." "Excuse me." "Are you Shandra's mom?" "Yeah." "Hey, I'm Jessica James." "I know who you are." "All right, uh, Shandra mentioned something to me earlier about her possibly not making the writer's weekend next month?" " Yeah, that's right." " She cannot miss that weekend." "Well, unfortunately, she has to." " Why?" " It's complicated." "It's just that it's a really big deal." "Sarah Jones is gonna be there." "Look, I don't know who Sarah Jones is, but Shandra can't go." "She's an amazing playwright." "She, like, won a Tony." "Do me a favor, when you get home, google Sarah Jones TED Talk." " Okay." "Come on." " Seriously, why can't she make it?" "Well, if you must know," "Shandra's dad is taking her and her brother to Six Flags that weekend." "I'm sorry, Shandra's mom." "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." "It's her dad's weekend." "This is the weekend where they actually write their plays." "You know how long it took to reach a custody agreement with my ex?" "Two years." "Two years, six lawyers, and $34,000." "We just signed an agreement last week." "He gets that weekend." "Do you mind if I talk to him?" "You're kind of an annoying person, aren't you?" "Yes." "Hey, uh, Mr. Phillips." "This is Jessica James from the Children's Theater Project." "I was just calling because..." "Well, because I'm 25 and I haven't been completely broken by life yet." "But also, I was hoping to try and convince you to rethink taking Shandra to Six Flags during the writer's weekend." "And I know from talking to Mrs. Phillips that you all have had a really hard time the last couple of years and that you just reached a custody agreement." "I don't want to butt in, but I just want to say that I kind of know what Shandra's going through." "I think it could be really empowering for her to sort through all those really confusing and scary emotions and turn them into something good." "And, look, I know that a lot of people say that theater is a dead art form performed by the rich for the even richer, and..." "I guess I do agree with that to some extent, but..." "I still really believe in it." "I think it has the power to transform lives." "I mean, it completely transformed mine." "So, Mr. Phillips, can you please, please let her come to the writer's weekend?" "I promise you will not regret it." " Mr. Phillips?" " Hey." "No." "Uh, it's Boone." " Who?" " Yeah." "We had dinner." "Remember?" "We, um, stayed over at my place and we had dessert?" "The divorced guy." "Oh, wow." "Shit." "Sorry, I forgot that was your name." "No, sure, that's understandable." "Uh, how are you?" "It's, um, kind of a weird moment for me." "But..." "I guess I'm okay." " What about you?" " Oh, I'm great." "Thanks for asking." "Listen, I had a terrific time the other night." "Oh, my God." "Is this a booty call?" "No." "No." "No." "Do people still say booty call?" "This is totally a booty call." "Oh, Boone." "Okay, I guess it's kind of a booty call." "But I did enjoy spending time with you." "Just because you catch a unicorn in the wild doesn't mean you get to tap it whenever you want, buddy." "Are you calling yourself a unicorn?" "Maybe." "I didn't realize unicorns were so arrogant." "All right, look, we can go for a walk." "But only if it's in my neighborhood." "And that's it." "Okay." "Cool." "I'll, um, I'll take that." "All right." "Well, don't forget." "We're just literally walking..." " Boone, are you okay?" " I'm fine." " Are you sure?" " Huh?" "Did some trash cans fall over on your end?" "Is that your end?" " Ew." "What?" " Oh, no, I don't know." "Okay, I'll see you soon." " So this is, uh, this is Bushwick, huh?" " Yeah." " It's pretty great, right?" " It's delightful." "So, when are they gonna burn it down?" "Well, not all of us can afford to live in neighborhoods where you got artisanal pickle shops on every corner." "Every person that I've seen in this neighborhood, so far, looks like they work in a pickle shop." "That is true." "So, I think my wife has started seeing..." "My ex-wife has started seeing somebody." "Oh, Boone." "Is that what you wanna talk about right now?" "Really?" " Come on." " I'm struggling." " How'd you find out?" " Fucking Instagram." " Oh, no." " Yeah." "How many times a day do you check her Instagram?" "Oh, you know, not that often." " Yeah, pretty much every waking moment." " Yeah, me too." " Do you still talk to him, though?" " No." "I don't want to talk to him." "You just prefer to obsess about what he's doing online?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I do." " Don't think that's very healthy." "Well, that's coming from a guy who checks his ex-wife's Instagram like a thousand times a day." " Oh, true, that." " Yeah." "Hey, what do you think would happen if you unfollowed him?" "I don't know." "What do you think would happen if you unfollowed her?" "To be honest, I'd be kind of relieved that I didn't have to look at so many pictures of food on my timeline." "Oh, is she one of those ladies that posts photos of food all day?" "It's the worst." "How could you marry somebody like that?" "Well, to be fair, she is an award-winning food photographer." " Oh, that's kind of cool." " Yeah." "Hey." "I'll do it, if you do it." " Do what?" " Unfollow my ex." " Oh, are you serious?" " Yeah." "Yeah, this is really good." "Actually, we should do this." "That's like a really big step, Boone." "No, it's just a couple of little taps." "Then, we can get on with our lives." " Okay." "Fine." "Fuck it, let's do it." " You're gonna do it?" " Yeah, I'm gonna do it." " Sweet." " Let's do it on three." " Hold on." " Okay." " One, two, three..." "Bye-bye." "Okay, how do you feel?" "I already hate it." "I want to know what's going on already." "What about you?" "Yeah, I've got this belly-full of regret." "Oh, shit." "Well, what if we followed each other's ex's on Instagram?" "That way, we can tell the other person if something big comes up." "That's a really good plan." " Yeah." " Let's do that." " Okay, what's your fellow's name?" " At Damon Johansing." " And then what about your ex-wife?" " Mandy Moore." " Wait, what?" " Oh, it's not the singer stroke actress." "It's a very common name." "Holy shit." "Is this him?" " Yeah." " He's beautiful." "I know, he's a beautiful man." " Are you kidding me?" " I know." "You're never gonna get the likes of that again." " I would fuck this guy." " Would you?" "Oh, me too." "Is this her?" " Yeah." " She's cute." "Oh, she's blonde." " Yeah, I'm really into blondes." " Oh, sorry." "Does he make fucking handcrafted phone cases?" "He does." "Is there something wrong with that?" "Oh, no." "It's just, I really need a new phone case." "Boone, we're working on boundaries right now." "There's a million places you can get phone cases from." "Yeah, okay." " He makes such pretty stuff, though." " Yeah, he's really, really good." "Oh, wow, she posted a beautiful photo of a hamburger today." "Yeah, she's really knows what to do with meat." "That's a weird thing to say to me." "Oh, God." "You probably thought that..." "No, I meant she's good with dick." "Tasha, are you sitting down?" " I'm at ease." "Yeah." " Get this." "I just got a personalized rejection letter from Tim Sanford at Playwrights Horizons." "Congratulations?" "You don't sound that excited, but I'll take it." "Oh, I don't know." "It's a rejection." "Yeah, but it's a personalized rejection letter." "Get this." ""Despite the eloquent and oftentimes hilarious tone of your work, it is not right for Playwrights Horizons at this time."" "Wow!" "That is..." "I don't know what that is." "What is that?" "That's..." "It's amazing." "Do you know how many form letter rejections I've gotten from lesser-known theater companies and fellowships this year?" "Tim Sanford from Playwrights Horizons read one of my plays and he gave me an encouraging response." "This is huge." "Oh, that is so cool." " Are you masturbating right now?" " Yeah." "Okay, next time I call you when you're doing that," " just don't answer the phone." " Okay." "Good to know." "What are you doing here?" "You unfollowed me." "Wow." "That was fast." "How did you know?" "I only have 70 followers on Instagram and Twitter, combined, so..." " Yeah, you are not good at social media." " I make phone cases." "All right, I don't have clever, witty ideas that I like to share with the world like everybody else." "I just don't understand why you unfollowed me." "Well, Damon, it's not like we're together anymore." "So, what?" "That means we can't be friends on Facebook?" "No, I don't think we can." "No." "No, we cannot." "I don't get it." "I don't get it, how one minute we can be in love, and the next minute we're less than strangers." "What, you're asking me?" "Yes." "I'm asking you." "I don't know." "I didn't think it'd be big of a deal." "Really?" "You unfollowed me." "I guess, secretly, I kind of hoped that you would notice, but I didn't want you to get all bent out of shape about it." "It feels like deep down, you wish we never would've met." "I guess I kind of wish we hadn't met." " No, don't do that." " I do." "Don't negate everything we had just because you don't like the way it ended." "Well, why not?" " Because it was good." " And then it wasn't." "Well, why do you think that is?" " I don't know." "You tell me." " Oh, wow!" "You act so..." "You don't realize how frustrating it is, how stubborn," " and hardheaded you are sometimes." " I am not stubborn." "Okay, do you want me to explain to you why it ended?" "Yeah, that would be most excellent if you could." "Okay." "It ended because you..." "What?" "All right, everybody, listen up." "This is Tasha." "Tasha is an actress, and she's gonna teach you guys an improv game." "Thank you so much, Jess, for that amazing introduction." "Okay." "Um, as was mentioned five seconds earlier," "I'm Tasha and I'm going to teach you an improv game called, "Yes, And..."" "Has anybody ever heard of "Yes, And..." before?" "Perfect!" "Okay, well, it is super simple." "All you have to do is agree with anything that your partner says by saying "yes."" "And then, adding something to it." "Jessica, would you like to help me demonstrate?" "Yes." "And I would also like to add that this game rules." "Yes." "This game does rule." "And I'm excited to play it because your class is super attractive." "Yes." "And on top of being very attractive, they also have really, really great brains." "Yes." "They have great brains." "And I can tell because I just so happen to be a brain-eating zombie who loves kids' brains." "Yes." "I knew that." "And I have something to tell you." "I'm a zombie slayer." "Yes, you are." "And we have a long feud going back... centuries, and centuries, and centuries." "Yes, and for some reason, we always seem to run in circles which is why we've been feuding for so long." "Yes, this is a cosmic dance between two people." "Two people who don't know how to fight." "I am your archenemy!" "But I came here today to tell you... that I love you." " Hello?" " Hey." " It's Boone." " Who?" "Just kidding." "I know who you are." "What's up?" "I was just, um, calling to let you know that Damon finally started watching The Sopranos and he thinks it's pretty good." "Okay." "All right." "That's really useful information for me to know." "Thank you very much for telling me." "I don't know what took him so long." "It's a really great show." "I don't know." "I feel like if I want to watch a bunch of morally corrupt dudes do some stuff," "I could just, like, literally, leave my apartment at any given moment." "Yeah, men are horrible." "Oh, my gosh." "By the way, I am loving your ex-wife's Instagram." "Her photos were so good." "Food photography really is an art." "It's just the dabblers I don't care about." "Yeah." "Food porn is one of my top two favorite porns." "What's your other favorite porn?" "Human." "That is a good porn." "That's a good form of porn." "Also, um, I was wondering what you were up to this weekend?" "You were, were you?" "Yes, I was, I was." "I, um, I'm actually gonna be in Ohio for my little sister's baby shower." "Oh, a lot of new information there." "What, you're from Ohio?" "Yes." "I am, unfortunately." "It's weird I know more about your ex-boyfriend than I do you." "Yeah." "I guess it is, huh?" "Maybe... um, when you get back into town, we could go on a real date?" "Well, that depends, Boone." "What's your idea of a real date?" "Hot dogs and laser tag?" " Um, I'm busy." " I'm joking." "Something brilliant." "No, we'll, um..." "We'll have a great time, I promise." "Yeah, sure." "I'll go on a real date with you." "It sounds fun-ish." "Oh, okay." "Well, thanks." "Can you just give me a call when you're back into town?" "And, uh, bring me back some potatoes." " That is Idaho." " Yes, it is." "Do they grow anything in Ohio?" "Just weirdos." "Well, bring me back some weirdos." "Will do." " Bye, Jessica." " Bye." "Boone?" "Who wants to know?" "Look, man, I..." "I don't want to make this weird or anything, but, um..." "Mandy sent me down here to see if you want to, like, come upstairs and talk or something." "What?" "Why?" "We saw you out here circling around the block, it's..." "It's sad, man." "I'm what..." "Well, you can tell Mandy that I happen to be on the phone, arranging a date with a girl, a woman, who is a wonderful playwright from Ohio." "I didn't even know that I was in your neighborhood." "Yeah, no, I'm not gonna tell her any of that." "Fine." "Don't tell her." "I don't give a shit." "You know, she still has a great deal of affection for you." "Oh, she does, does she?" "She still has a great deal of affection for me?" "Yes." "Did she say that?" "Hey, look, I know it's hard, man." "I went through a divorce myself a couple of years ago." "I didn't..." "I didn't realize." "I'm sorry." "What did you say your name was?" "Oh, that's right." "I don't give a shit." "You all right?" "Your sister is so excited you are home." "You don't even know." "It's like all she can talk about." "Yeah." "Well, it's not every day we get a visit from our big city girl." "Please do not call me "big city girl," Kenny." "We missed you at Christmas." "Yeah, I know." "I know." "I'm sorry." " I missed you guys, too." " So..." "Tell us everything." "How's your writing?" "How's Damon?" "It's good." "Writing's good, Damon's good." "It's all good." "Yeah?" "Yup." "Oh, Jess, it's so good to see you." "♪ Now I'm back in a world ♪" "♪ That greets me with a smile ♪" "♪ And what makes it all worthwhile ♪" "Who's here?" " Hi." " Oh, my God!" "You actually came!" "Of course, I came." " Thank you." " Oh, my goodness." "Wow, this is amazing." "You're making a little human." "Yeah." "What are you wearing?" "What?" "This is a jumpsuit." " You look like an auto mechanic." " It's cool though, right?" "Yeah." "I mean, you're not gonna wear it to the party?" "Nope." "I'm not gonna wear it to the party." "This is just..." "This was for the plane." " Hey, Jess." " Hey, Duane." " What's up?" " Not too much." " What you got there?" " Cupcakes for the party, so..." "You look nice." " Thank you." " Yup." " Oh, my big sister's here!" " I know." "Yay!" "She's here." " Yup." "I'm gonna go change." " Okay." "Let me get this." "Yeah." "Thank you, Kenny." " You're welcome." " All right." "See you later." " Do you have heels, babe?" " No." "So, you're leaving next month?" " Yeah." " Excellent." "Wait, Jessica." "Jessica, you remember Mrs. Taggart, don't you?" " I do." "Hi, Mrs. T." " Hi, Jess." "Well, Carol and her husband are going to New York next month." "Cool." "But we were hoping that you could recommend a show for them to see while they're there." "Yeah, definitely." "What sort of shows are you into?" "Um, well, we've heard that Jersey Boys is good?" "Oh, yeah, but that's a musical." "That's not really what I'm into." "What type of thing are you into?" "Dialogue driven dramas that explore the human condition." "Oh." "Uh, is there anything like that playing next month?" "The really great things are sort of few and far between." "Theater is in a really troubled state in America right now." "Most things are trash, like, you'd be surprised at who they allow to do shows on Broadway." "Or, I heard that Cats just opened and it's supposed to be good." "Oh, I have heard good things about that one." "Oh, great, thanks." "Jessica studied theater in college." "Oh, Kimmy, these are adorable." "Thank you." "So sweet." "That one's mine." "Uh-huh." "From my big sister." " Aw." " Hello." " Mom, can you?" " Yeah." "Thank you." ""The ABC's of Subverting the Patriarchal Paradigm."" "I figure since you're having a girl, although, boys can benefit from that as well, right?" "Oh, "P is for Peaches."" "A singer performance artist," ""who challenges the traditional notions of gender identity."" "I drew those pictures myself." " Wow." "This is amazing, Jess." " Thank you." "I figure it's never too soon, right?" "Never too soon for what?" "To start questioning the system." "What system?" "The system that we're all prisoner to." "I'm not prisoner to any system." "You just... pretended to eat poop out of a diaper, so..." "Let's open another present." " Yes." " Yes." "Thank you." "Who belongs to this, huh?" " Yes." " I'm really sorry." "I think my whole life, I've been in love with love." "But I've never really felt love." "Until now, Dustin." "You complete my everything." "I love our love." "I love you." "Madison, I know." "You made me see that the one could be anyone." "As long as there's love." "And having you by my side is what completes me." "I can honestly tell you this has been the best day of my whole life." "When I look into your eyes, I can see forever." "And I never want it to end." "Madison, will you marry me?" "Yes, Dustin!" "Oh, my God!" " Is this real?" " It's so real." "Oh, my God." "I love you so much." "This is your idea of fun?" "No, this is my nightmare." "I just, for some reason, I thought you'd be better at it." "I am both flattered and offended." "No, I just..." "I can't believe you've never skated." "I've been six feet tall since I was 12 years old." "Not once have I thought, "Oh, let me put some wheels on this."" " You're doing great." " I'm not." "You wanna try without the baby thing?" "I don't want to let go of this." "Everybody's kind of sniggering at you." "Nobody's doing that." "Come on, take my hand." "I'm rock solid over here." "You get this." "This is no risk." " Okay, all right." "Okay." " Trust me." "Hm..." " Okay." " Okay, that's good." " Nice, doesn't that feel good?" " It's okay, so..." "Whoa." "All right." "I got you." "You're good." "Oh!" "Um..." "I also brought a picnic." "Tight." "This is just like what you do on a first date?" "Yeah." "So, tell me about your app." "Oh, God." "Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to judge me." "Is it Tinder for people who have herpes?" "What?" "No." " That's not a terrible idea, by the way." " Right?" "They have to, like, date somehow." "No, mine is called "Hi, Mom."" " Have you heard about it?" " No." "Basically, we make it seem like you're staying in touch with your parents or whoever, without you having to stay in touch with your parents or whoever." "That's insane." "How do you do that?" "We study users' text feeds, and social media." "And we generate a weekly personalized message in their own voice from their own cellphone number." "A typical one would be, "Hi, Mom."" "I was just thinking about you." "Thought I'd say hi." ""You're so right." "That cat video was cute and funny."" "That's amazing." "You're like a genius or something." " You don't think it's awful?" " No, I think it's trash." "But it's cool that you do it." " That's awesome." " Thanks." "Do you think I could get a hook up for like my mom and my sister?" " How thoughtful of you." " Do you know a guy?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I, sort of, know a guy." "How about you?" "Tell me about one of your plays." "Nah, let's just change the subject." "I don't..." "I thought theater was all you cared about." " It is." " So, what's going on?" "Uh..." "Do you remember when I mentioned that there was like a handful of theater companies that was interested in my work?" "Yeah." "I lied." "So..." "Oh, shit." "I found something that you feel insecure about." "What?" "I'm like insecure about everything." " You hide it well." " Well..." "I just really love theater." "You know, I feel like I love it the way that most people love like sports or food." " Oh, I love food and sports." " Yeah." " You love it that much?" " Yes, I do." "And I've been like that since I was a kid." "I love everything about it." "I love reading it." "I love watching it even when it's bad." "I love teaching it." "I especially love making it." "I just..." "I love it all." "That's great." "So, what's the problem?" "I don't know if it loves me back and that scares the shit out of me." "Come on." "I'm sure it loves you back." "No, I have a wall full of rejection letters that beg to differ." " I would love to read one." " What?" "A rejection letter?" "No." "I would love to read one of your plays." "Maybe, I'll think about it and get back to you." "You'd happily share it with a room full of strangers, but for me, you have to think about it." "Yeah, well, it's different to share it with somebody that you know." "It's like really intimate." "I already know I'm gonna like it." "Okay, well, don't do that." "If I do show you my stuff, and that's if, you have to promise me that you will be honest." "Honesty is like all I care about." "Was that supposed to be an impression of me?" "Oh, it did sound like you, I guess." "Yeah, it did, a little bit." "Well, this is me." "Yeah." "I know." "I already, uh, spent the night here, remember?" " Yes." " Mm-hm." " I had such a great time today." " Me, too." "It was really lovely." " You're such a beautiful skater." " Thank you." "I had a really terrible teacher." "You're sure I don't still remind you of how not Damon I am?" " No." " Mm-hm." "Are you gonna invite me up?" "I was thinking maybe not." "Why?" "I already know your bathroom is gross AF." "First of all, I've cleaned it thoroughly." " Good." " And second of all..." "I think we should slow it down a little bit." "I spent the night here the first time we hung out." " Yes." " Mm-hm." " And it was tremendous." " Mm." "You booty called me like four days later." " So, so fun." " You're an excellent lover." "Well, please don't call me lover." "It's disgusting." "What's the problem?" "I probably seem to you, like I have my shit together." "But, um..." "I just got out of a marriage eight months ago." "And everything is just a bit shit." "Boone, you so do not seem like you have it together." "And, I don't either." "I just got out of a relationship, too." "Well, all the more reason to..." "Say good night." "Really?" "Boone." " Yeah." " Boone, Boone, Boone." " I'm trying to be strong." " I'm a unicorn." "Oh." "That's got to mean something." "Good night, Jessica." "Good night." " Mm." " Mm-hm." "Oh, fuck it." " Just come up." " Yes." "We can always say good night in the morning, right?" "We're naked." "We are so naked." "Mm-hm." "You're so beautiful." "I am." "I'm a little nervous." "Oh, no, no, no." "You don't seem nervous at all." " I love the way you feel." " I like the way you feel me." " Yeah?" " Mm-hm." "How about if I feel you here?" "Oh, shit, Boone." "Yup." "Oh." "Where do you like to be touched?" "Oh, you know." "Anywhere is nice." " Yeah?" "Is that okay?" " Yeah, there." "There is the best." "Yeah." " Hey." " Hey." " You got a dog?" " I did." "Wow, it's a really cute dog." "She's so little." "Are you just walking around here?" "Uh, yeah." "Hm?" "You're just walking around the neighborhood?" " You don't live around here." " What?" "Why are you walking around here?" " Well, honestly I've been thinking." " Oh, you've been thinking?" " You've been thinking?" " Yeah, I've..." " Why do you keep doing that?" " Because you don't live around here." "You're walking her over here." "That's weird." "Excuse me, sir." "Is this woman bothering you?" "No, no." "She's not bothering me, man." "It's fine." " Would you like me to call the police?" " No, man." "No." "I'm gonna call the police." "Don't call the police, man." "I love her, okay?" "I love her!" "Good luck." "I love you." "Hey, listen, I know you think you're the one with the broken heart." "But, remember, you broke up with me." "You didn't have to accept it so easily." "Well, what was I supposed to do?" " I don't know, fight for us." " Fight for what?" "We were already in a relationship." "I was scared shit." "Scared of what?" "Of everything." "Of being defined as your girlfriend, of not being a writer, of trying and failing, of losing myself in this relationship." "Listen, Jess, I just think that we deserve another chance." "All right?" "I deserve another chance." "I'm kind of seeing somebody right now." "Well, would you want me to fight him?" "Because I'll punch him right..." "No, Damon." "Go home, okay?" "Don't walk your freaking cute ass dog in my neighborhood anymore." " Jess, come on." " Go!" "Seriously." "Jess." "Jess." " Jess..." " Jess." "Jess." "Jess." "You all right?" "I'm okay, just thinking." "I was gonna make some coffee." "You want some coffee?" " Oh, I am more of a tea person." " Ah." "So..." "Then, I shall bring you tea." "Thank you." "All right." "Close your eyes and open your minds." "We're gonna play another game." "Except this game is not going to be as easy as the others." "Why not?" "You'll see." "You ready?" "It's your birthday, and you're in the car with your parents." "My parents don't have a car." "Then use your imagination." "Okay, I'm gonna imagine I'm in a Ferrari." "Okay, great." "The whole year, you've been telling anybody who would listen that all you wanted for your birthday was a dog." "And you think that you're on your way to the pet store to pick one out right now." "But what you don't know is that your mom just found out that she's going to have another baby." "And your parents have already been stretching their money to make sure that they can pay for your college education." "You don't know any of this yet because you're just a kid and they work really hard to shield you from that stuff." "But, unfortunately, this creates a lot of tension between them." "Sometimes, you hear them yelling at each other late at night when they think you're asleep." "And it really scares you." "Now your dad, being the proud and impractical man that he is, really wants to get you this dog even though he knows that you can't afford it." "And your mom is frustrated at him for this because she works, too." "And she knows that she's going to have to quit her job to take care of this new baby." "Wow." "I didn't know things were so tight." "My parents should probably sell this Ferrari." "Davion." "Cool it with the Ferrari, okay?" "Now." "Imagine that you're the dad." "You're driving the car and you look in the rear-view mirror, and you see your kid with this big dopey smile on her face." "I don't have a dopey smile." "You're right, you have a beautiful smile." "Thank you." "Now, imagine that you're the mom." "You're in the passenger seat... and you see a look of anguish go across your husband's face as you pass the pet store." "What?" "We're passing the pet store?" "Where are we going?" "That's a good question." "Where are we going?" "I don't know." "This is your game." "Yeah, but it's up to you to decide where we go next." "Uh, hey." " Ms. James?" " Oh, hey." "What are you doing over here?" "Where's your mom?" "Oh, she's waiting for me around the corner." "Is everything okay?" "Well, my dad got your message." "Can you just tell him I'm sorry about that?" "He told me to tell you that he's glad that you haven't been broken by life yet." "And, uh, I can go to the writer's weekend." " What, are you serious?" " Yeah." "Yes!" "Yes, yes." "Yes." "Yeah." "Yeah." "This is amazing." "This is the best news I've heard in weeks." "I'm so excited." " This is gonna be great." " Huh." "Yeah, yeah, great." "What's wrong?" "My dad's still taking my brother to Six Flags." "So?" "So?" "Six Flags seems pretty awesome." "Are you kidding me?" "I thought you were serious about this program?" "I am." "Obviously not, if you're gonna ditch, so that you can go ride roller coasters." "I don't know." "I haven't made up my mind yet." "You know what?" "Forget it." "Just do whatever you want, Shandra." "Why should I care if you don't?" "I didn't say I didn't care." "Obviously, you don't." "I have to go." "Wait." "Are you mad at me?" "I'm not mad at you." "I'm just really disappointed." "Look, you have to go to this writer's weekend, okay?" "Otherwise, I'll be super hurt if you don't." "That's not fair!" "Wake up, Shandra." "Since when is life supposed to be fair?" "You know what?" "Whatever." "I'll send you a postcard from Six Flags." "Coming." "Hey." "Booty call." "What are you doing here?" "Oh, uh, sorry I didn't let you know I was coming." "It's just my phone died earlier, and I kind of had a shitty day, so..." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Uh, I wish..." "I wish you called." "Do you want to go for a walk or something?" "I..." " I got pickles in here." " Um..." " Hey, I'm gonna get out of here." " Oh, fuck." "Just hold on a minute." "Hi." "You must be Mandy Moore." "I'm Jessica James." "It's really nice to meet you." "I love your work." "I love the way you shoot carrots." " Thank you." " Jess." "You suck balls." "I got to go." "Jess, hold on." " Jess." " What?" " Wait." " No." "Jess, come on!" "She was just delivering a Windsurfing Magazine that keeps getting sent to her place by accident." "Then, you know, we got talking." "You weren't just talking." "Don't bullshit me." " Yes." " Where's your shirt?" "Okay, yeah." "I'm sorry." "But you, more than anyone, must realize what it's like to have a history with someone." "Those feelings don't just evaporate." "Yeah, no." "I understand." "Nothing works out, people let you down, and you should never trust anybody ever." "I've known that since I was a kid." "We were fucking married, Jess." "Our families watched us say, "Till death do you part" together." "I mean, it's..." "It's a little bigger than just saying, "Oh, maybe I'm in love with this guy."" "Oh, my gosh." "Wow, I'm sorry." "I didn't realize that my feelings weren't as valid as yours." " That's not what I meant." "I'm sorry." " Okay." " That..." " Wait a second." "You windsurf?" " Yeah." "I windsurf." " Come on, man." " I like the sensation of being at sea." " Mm." "You would like it." "You should come." "No, I'm good." "And you know what?" "What?" " Mature." " Yeah." "Jessica." "What?" "I really like you." "Yeah, Boone." "Of course, you do." "Everybody does." "I'm freaking dope." "Fuck." " You got everyone?" " Almost." "Should we wait?" "No, we can go." "Got you." "The Notebook." "No, or like, The Cat and The Dog." "Romeo and Juliet, you know how, like, they're in different worlds." "And, like, they're not allowed to be together." "It's cat and dog..." "I'm gonna write another story about a mega-ultron cookie bird." "D plus C..." " Equals..." " Equals five." "How do you spell five?" "It's supposed to be, apparently, like a spiritual journey." " Excuse me?" " Hi." " Hey, you're Sarah Jones, right?" " Yes." "Oh, I don't know why I asked that." "I knew it was you." "Just..." "I really think about you a lot." "I really do." "You are fierce and passionate, and unapologetic." "And I love the way you write your characters, and I love the way you write women." "Um..." "And I just..." "I'm so thankful that you're here." "And the kids are really thankful that you're here." "I mean, not as thankful as I am just because I, like, love you." "I really do." "I..." "And I..." "You're like six feet almost." "I'm six feet." "Uh, what is your name?" "Oh, it's Jessica." "It's Jessica James." "That was really weird of me to do." " And I'm sorry." "I'm blabbing." " No, don't worry." " Um, can I ask you something?" " Yeah, sure." "When did you know that you were gonna make it?" "That's a big question." "Uh..." "I guess I would say I'll let you know when I get the memo." "What do you mean when you get the memo?" "You literally won a Tony." "Yes, but, you know..." "That and a MetroCard gets me on a subway." "You still take the subway?" "Yeah, girl." "How much do you think playwrights make?" "So, you're just saying that no matter what I do, there's still no assurance that I'm actually gonna make it even if I win the best award that playwriting has to offer?" "Yeah, it's really more about like, what does theater actually mean to you?" " I just love it." " And you're doing it." "Like, that's why we're here." "Right?" "This is it." "There's kind of not more to it than that." "Yeah?" "Is Shandra home?" "Yeah." "Can I speak to her?" "I watched those TED Talks." "And?" "You were right, she's cool." "No shoes in the house." "Yes, ma'am." "Knock, knock." "Hi." "What are you doing here?" "I'm here to apologize." "About what?" "I'm really, really sorry for making you feel bad about wanting to spend time with your dad." "Do you mind if I sit down?" "Well, this is a really cool room." "Thanks." "I thought about you a lot this weekend." "I thought of how it must be hard to be 11 years old and have your parents negotiating through lawyers to spend time with you." " And my brother." " Yeah." "And your brother, and I get how that can make you feel invisible." "You feel like you're forgotten, and..." "You know, I went through the same thing when I was a kid." " You did?" " Yeah, I did." "Except my parents never got it together." "Eventually, they just asked me and my sister to choose who we wanted to spend more time with." "Hm." "Who did you pick?" "My mom." "But it wasn't because I loved her more." "You know, I really loved both of my parents." "I just thought that my mom would have harder time without us." "And that really broke my dad's heart." "And he hasn't forgiven me for that." "But you never got that dog either, did you?" "No." "That's sad." "I brought you back something." "Wow." "It's really pretty." "Thanks." "I would really, really, really like to help you work on your play." "Well, yeah." "Sure." "Cool." "Because your mom already told me I could stay for dinner." "And so far, it smells dope!" "Hey." " Hey." " Hi." " Thank you for coming." " Of course." "I was so pleased you called." "I brought you some tea." "Oh, thank you." "You remembered." "That's very nice." "Look, I am really sorry." "What are you talking about?" "It..." "You don't need to apologize for anything." "No, you told me early on you were still trying to figure stuff out and I guess I just didn't listen, and..." "Ah." "You know, for what it's worth, I, uh, I called, and got my Windsurfing Magazine redirected to my place." "Oh, good." " So..." " Yeah." "But what about those feelings?" "Oh, also redirected." " Are you sure?" " Oh, yes, I am." "How do you know?" "Well, for one, you know how I used to obsess about everything she did online?" "I do." "Now, the only page I refresh is yours." "Come on." "Oh, that sounded better in my head." "I, um..." " Try this." " What is this?" "That is every single play that I've ever written." "Ever." " Holy shit, it's heavy." " I know." "I got a lot of thoughts and feelings, and I have for a really long time." "I can't wait to read it." "Take your time." "And, uh..." "You know, no need to rush." " I'm gonna start." " Okay, wait, wait." "Slow down." "Okay, I'm gonna go, and... thank you for the tea." "Here you go, thank you." " Oh!" "Why, hello there, sunshine." " What's up, hoochie?" "What are you doing here?" "What's going on?" "Nothing." "I'm just going to London." "Okay, what for?" "I've been invited by the Donmar Warehouse Theater to teach at a children's playmaking workshop and direct a stage reading of one of my plays." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, congratulations!" " Thank you." " Oh!" "Uh, anyway, I got you something." "Wait, are you kidding me?" "For me?" " I should be getting you a present." " No, but..." "You know how I pretty much moved here to escape my family?" "Yes, you and everybody else who moved here." "Well, I got more than I bargained for." "I love you." "And you're the first person I wanted to tell as soon as I find out the news." "Aw." "Oh, my God." "It's an Ola." "It's beautiful." "It captures and replays your vibration patterns." "I can't believe it." "Oh, my God." "I'm gonna cry." "Please don't cry." "You know I hate to show emotion in public spaces." "Oh, Jessica." "Ew." " Thank you." " Of course." "Okay, everybody, listen up!" "Free coffee all around, in honor of the incredible Jessica James, whose amazing work is going to be read by the Donmar Warehouse Theater" " in London." " Yes." "♪ Bangers and mash ♪" "♪ Gonna get bangers and mash ♪" " ♪ Yes, gonna get bangers and mash ♪ - ♪ Bangers and mash ♪" " ♪ Yes, gonna get bangers and mash ♪ - ♪ Bangers and mash and this ♪" "Wait a minute." "Are you telling me that you're a mermaid, too?" "No." "Not a mermaid." "I'm a merman!" "Oh." "Cool." "Hello." "My name is Banana McClain, and today is my birthday." "I told my parents that I wanted a puppy for my birthday, but I'd also be happy with a turtle." "We're on our way to the pet store now." "I hope they don't try and get me a goldfish." "Goldfish are no fun." "You can't pet or hug a goldfish." "I'm not sure if you can pet or hold a turtle, but at least turtles have personalities." "I think it's important for a pet to have a personality." "Which is why I want a puppy." "They seem like they would be nice, and loyal, and fun." "Of course, I guess there was a chance I won't get a pet at all." "And you know what?" "That's okay, too." "Because birthdays aren't about getting things." "They're about celebrating what you have, and what I have is pretty great." "Because it's a beautiful day and I'm with the two people I love the most." "And later, we're having cake." "And I love cake." "You're okay." "You're okay." "Thank you so much for coming." "Hey, so good." "You guys were so good." "You were great." "You were so good." "Of course." "Hi." " Hey, Jessica." " Hey." " Hi." " Hi." "You freaking killed it." " You really think so?" " Yeah." "I wasn't too over the top?" "No, you were perfect." "Thank you." "I thought it was such a great character." "Thank you so much for casting me." "No, you..." "You were amazing." "You're so good." "Uh-oh." " What?" " Don't look behind you." "Don't, don't." " What do you mean?" " Just keep cool." " Hi." " Hi." "You've got this." " Hey." " Hey." "I didn't know you were coming tonight." "Yeah, well, you know, I know how much this means to you." "That's..." "How are you?" " Good." " Good?" "I'm good, yeah." "You?" " Good." " Good." "It's nice to see you." " Yeah?" " Mm-hm." "Well, it's nice to see you, too." "We should get tea sometime." "Tea sounds great to me." "You're a really good guy, Damon." "I know?" "I'm sorry." "No, it's okay." "I'm all right." "I'll call you." "I'll answer." "Good to see you." " See you." " See you." "It seemed like a positive interaction." "Did you know he was gonna be here?" " I had no idea." "It was a surprise." " I'm sorry." "I could have warned you." "He posted it on Twitter three days ago." "You could probably stop following him on social media, by the way." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Are you sure you're ready for that?" "I guess so." "Well, I guess, you should probably stop following my ex as well, then." "I don't know if I can." " The food photos?" " She really knows how to handle a banana." "Hey, I, uh, I read your plays." " All of them already?" " Every page." "And?" "You're a very complicated person." "I know." "I'm sorry." "No, don't..." "You never need to apologize for that." "There are so many other things you can apologize for." "Oh, my gosh." "I forgot to tell you." " I am going to London." " What?" "The Donmar Theater wants to do a stage reading of one of my plays." "That sounds prestigious." "Yeah, I know." "It's like kind of a big deal." "Nice!" "Good job." " Have you ever been to London?" " No, I haven't." "How is it?" "Oh, it's the best." "You're gonna have such a great time." "You know, I, um..." "I have a ton of frequent flier miles." "You know, just if you wanted to bring someone with you to show you around the town." "How does it work?" " How does what work?" " Frequent flier miles." "Dude, I can't believe your boyfriend bought us tickets to London." "Okay, who said anything about him being my boyfriend?" "Wait." "What are you talking about?" "This is like the most romantic gesture I have ever seen." "Yeah, it's dope." "But it takes more than a couple of roundtrip tickets to London for somebody to be my boyf." "That is so boss." " What is so boss?" " Uh, Jessica." "Oh, yeah, duh." "Flight attendants, please fasten your seat belts and prepare for takeoff." "It was really cool of your parents to let you come with us to the workshop." "Well, it was really cool of your boyfriend to get me a ticket, too." "Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Sister." "Just because a guy buys a lady a couple of roundtrip tickets to London does not make him her boyfriend." "Did you know that I introduced them?" "You know, I like your jumpsuit." "Thank you." "Yeah, it's pretty badass, right?" "Hm." "Yeah, it is."