"You know, it was nice of Getraer to give us this coast beat." "Yeah, I guess there is a heart of silk underneath that layer of granite." "Just think:" "Fresh air, clear skies, blue water, and our motors, of course." "You know, Ponch, the best things in life are free." "Free?" "It costs 25 cents to cross this bridge." "That's highway robbery." "Right on time, Gary." "Right on time." "What is this?" "What are you...?" "What does it look like I'm doing, pal?" " Let's get out of here." " Somebody help." "They robbed me." "Help me, they robbed me." " Call the cops." "Do something." " I can't, There's no phone." "What do we got going?" "All right." " I wonder what happened." " I think I'll go check out Andretti." " There were two of them in the car..." " Here's the keys." "They just attacked the poor man over there." "The keys were over here." " It was about 10 minutes." " No, it was more like 15." " One had a blond shaggy hair." " They both had blond..." " They just jumped out of nowhere." " The car was green." " Green." " They grabbed his suitcase..." "All right." "Enough." "Please." "I'll just talk to the victim." "Tell me what happened here." "They robbed me, that's what happened." "They took over $ 100,000 worth of precious stones." " You mean the sports car?" " Yeah, some guy jumps in the car and pushes me in the face." "You could probably identify him if you saw him again." "No." "Ladies." "Ladies, would you mind getting back in the booths so we can get the traffic flowing, please?" " I'm sorry." " Yeah, okay." "Thank you." "What about me?" "The Sheriff's Department will wanna talk to you." "They'll be here shortly." "Could you move the car over to the side of the road, please?" "Thanks a lot." "Thank you, sir." "Excuse me, sir." "That'll be 25 cents, please." "I tell you, that guy must have trained at Daytona." "It looked more like Grand Prix to me." "I ran the plates and they're hot." "LASO has been advised." "All right." "Here he comes now." "Thanks, guys." "We got a broadcast out." "Here's the information and where you can reach us." "We've got some units looking out for the suspects." "Thanks again, guys." "Man, do you believe that?" "That dude got hit for a hundred thousand dollars of precious stones." "Hey, we're supposed to be at p. m." "Briefing." "You think you got enough tread left to make it?" "We better get moving." "Last thing I wanna do is to be late for another briefing." "Hey, come on, will you?" " What?" " You don't have to write the report here." "Oh, oh, yeah, yeah." "It's that time of the year, fellas." "Fire conditions are extremely hazardous." "Hi, guys." " Oh, hi, sarge." "Sorry we're late." " It was for a good cause, that 211." "Well, we'll talk about it." "Now, would you care to have a seat, or are you gonna wait for an usher?" "Now, as I was saying, the fire conditions are extremely hazardous." "Particularly on the Golden State near Newhall." "And that stretch along the San Diego Freeway north of Sepulveda Pass." "So keep an eye out for any smoldering underbrush and don't be afraid to stop anybody who discards a lit cigarette." "Now, from the Sheriffs' Department:" "There was a robbery at the St. Vincent Thomas Bridge toll booths down at San Vista." "A civilian jewelry dealer was ripped off." "Baker and Poncherello were 10-97 location just as the bandits made off with over $ 100,000 worth of jewels." "They were two men using a fast sports car, identified as a Jaguar." "Baker gave pursuit, but they managed to slip away down in the Marina area." "It turned out the car was stolen." "Baker you don't have to take this down, you were there." "Baker?" "Oh, yeah, I just..." "So I don't forget it, sarge." "All right, men, fasten your seat belts, and drive safely." " Come on, let's go." " Yeah, just a minute." "Hey, what's with all the writing?" "I'm just catching up on my mail, all right?" "What, your usual stack of Dear Jon letters?" "Attention South Harbor units, you have an 11-82 PCH at Palos Verdes Boulevard involving a produce truck." "Hey, that's us." "Let's hit it." "Come on." "Hey, Fritz, tell dispatch we're on our way, all right?" "All right." "Okay, I'll be there in just a minute." "Just hang on there, I'll be right with you." " Are you okay?" " I don't know." " Are you hurt?" " I don't know." "Do you know what happened here?" "Well, I was having a good ride and I guess I had a blowout or something." "Next thing I know, I'm wrestling with the steering wheel and doing a 180." "It was a bum trip, I mean, you know what I mean?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I really feel for you." "Had a few myself." " Think you can make it out of the cab?" " Yeah, I think so." "All right." "I'll help you out." "That's it." "Come on, keep them moving." "Keep this lane clear." "Come on this way." "There's my problem." "That's a lot of onions." "About 3000 pounds of them." " Is he okay?" " Yeah, he's fine." "Hey, don't take it so hard, Jon." "You know, there's worse duty than this, you know." "You could have Getraer for a partner." "No, no." "The kid could make it without you, Ponch." "Yeah, I know how you feel." "I want you to know that you're the best partner a buddy could ask for." "Okay, hold up there." "There we go." "What's the story here, guys?" "It's a sad one, sarge." "Onions." "Yeah, nice, fresh yellow ones." "Yeah, well, let's make sure it has a happy ending." "Hey, no problem, sarge." "I'll get the truck moving." "You're always thinking, Frank." "Boy, did you call Caltrans?" "Yeah, Fritz and Baricza, they're on their way." "Hold it there." "Good." "Okay." "Do you have a handkerchief?" "Yeah." "No, that's all right." "Oh, sorry." "Sir." "We got to get your truck off the road." "I'll stop traffic and tell you what to do, okay?" "15, 1 Mary 1, 11-24 number one lane, northbound Pasadena Freeway..." "All right now." "Back it up a little." "Come on." "Hold it, hold it, hold it." "That's not gonna work." "Take it forward now, okay?" "Slow." "Hey, wait." "Wait a minute." "Hey, stop." "Wait a minute." "What are you doing?" "Stop." "Hey, mister, stop it." "Ponch did say slow." "Hey, come on." "Stay downwind of me." "What happened to all that buddy-buddy stuff?" "Yeah, that was before you got sprayed." "Okay, be that way." "I'll get a job in a French restaurant." "That was Mrs. Downey's car, wasn't it?" "Yeah." "Every shiny inch." "Come on, I wanna get this stuff off." "I wanna change." "Let's go." "Okay." "And take a shower?" "Pay attention, please." "You see, I haven't got all day." " I can't stay here..." " Yes, ma'am." "Oh, there you are and it's about time you got here." "How's it doing, Mrs. Downey?" "Do you know that I've been waiting for you for over an hour?" " You have?" " Yes, and I want you to fix this." "Excuse me a minute, Barkley." "Mrs. Downey, if I talk you over here..." "Yes, but I want you to fix it." " Wait a minute, fix it?" " Yes, just fix it." "Pay off some turkey so it won't show up on my good driving record." "Mrs. Downey, wait a minute." "I mean, my partner and I..." "I mean..." "It's that terrible Officer "Ponchiriblo" or something like that." "Yeah, yeah." "He did that." "Look at that." "This is nothing more than a parking ticket." "A two-dollar parking ticket and if you'd just take it down there, the..." "The money isn't the point." "I'm a law-abiding citizen." "I didn't mean to insult you about money." "This is not our department." "This is LAPD." "The Police Department." "We're california Highway Patrol." " Remember, the off-ramp?" " You're all friends." "You're all in cahoots." " Sure we are, we're all in cahoots..." " Yes, I thought so." "Well, we're not in cahoots." "Oh, if my third husband were alive today, I wouldn't be here now." "You see, he used to get things fixed lickety-split just like that." "Wait a minute." "You know what, you're exactly right." "I'll take care of this, Mrs. Downey." "I'll get it taken care of right away." "Oh, that's better." "I knew you'll do the right thing." "You see, you're a good flatfoot." "Sure." "Flatfoot?" "Now, come with me, come along." "No nonsense." "Come along." "Hurry up." "We've gotta get busy." "Come along, now." "Come along." "Don't tarry." " There, that's fine." " All right." " There's the door now." "One more step." " One more step." " There we go." " There we are." "Drive carefully, Mrs. Downey." "Oh, there's no reason to bother about me." "I've been driving for 70 years without a scratch." "Yeah, I could tell by the car, it's such a nice car." "Now, scoot on in." "Oh, it's a beauty and I drive it so carefully." " Yeah." "Have a cookie." " They're fresh." " Oh, thank you." " Hold this for a minute, I'll get one." " Yes, got it." "There." "Thank you." " Oh, hey." "My favorite, chocolate chip." " Oh, really?" "And you're chp." " Yeah." " Have a chippie, Chippie." "Do you dig it?" "Oh, yeah." "I dig it." "There." "I'm good as new." "Hey, what's that?" "Oh, that's a park for Mrs. Downey." "She asked me if I'd take care of it." " Well, are you?" " Sure." "I'm gonna pay for it." "That's better than trying to explain why she should, right?" "Besides, she makes good cookies." "Hey, that's good." "Well, we all got our price." "Hey, what's with these books?" " Are you collecting them?" " No." "Then what are you doing with them?" " Let me see." " Come on, hey, people do read, okay?" "Hey, Blue Knight, The New Centurions." "A Joseph Wambaugh fan, huh?" "Right, he's a terrific writer, okay?" "Hey, what's the matter?" "Don't you get enough cops and robbers all day long?" "Ponch, come on, he's a cop." "He's one of us, okay?" "Here's a guy in his own spare time." "He's writing about his experiences." "Things that have happened to him things he's seen, people he's worked with." "Ponch, this is what a cop is, from the gut level, okay?" "The gut level." "Besides, he became famous and he's rich." "Well, I'll wait for the movie to come out." "You sound like his agent." "The movie?" "They're already making the movies." " They're playing right now, downtown..." " Then I'll wait until it comes on Tv." "If my set gets fixed." "Oh, hey." "Hey, Jon." "Do you think I could come over and bring my TV set?" "Sure, just bring it by anytime." "We'll check out the tubes and everything." "Okay, will do." "Okay, anytime." "Okay, ma'am, the tow truck will be here in just a minute." "Hey, Jon." "L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3 and 4." "We have a multiple, southbound Hollywood and Belmont." "Request assistance and an ambulance." "I'll check over here." " Hey, are you okay?" " Yeah, I'm okay." " Everybody okay over here?" " Yeah, everybody's okay." "Step off the freeway over here on the shoulder." "Thank you." "Please walk down the freeway." "Stay on the left of the shoulder." " Are you all right?" " I'm all right." " This guy cut right into my lane." " Okay." "Walk down the shoulder of the freeway." "Stay on the shoulder." "Hey, hey." "Please help." "Get me out of here." " Try the window." " I did." "They're broken." "No power." " Now, get me out of here." " Try to calm yourself." "We'll have you out of here right away." "Hang on." " No, no, I can't." "Get me out of here." " Just hang on a minute." "Come on, come on." "Keep moving, come on." "Barry, you wanna take this traffic control?" "I'll check out with Ponch." "All right." "Got it." "Let's go." "Mister, don't panic." "We'll have you out." "I told you I can't wait, don't you understand?" " Why not?" " Because there's a bomb in my car." " What?" " A bomb." " You're kidding?" " No, I ain't." "He ain't." "Okay, slide over and cover your eyes, all right?" "Okay, come on, get out of there." "Hurry up." "We gotta find out why you're chauffeuring a bomb." " You got him, Ponch?" " Yeah." "All right." "Now, put your left hand on your head." "What do you mean, a bomb?" "What kind?" "I ain't talking." "Is it timed?" "When will it go off?" "I ain't talking." "Let's go nice and easy now." "Let's go." " Hey, Barry." " Shain, come here a minute." "We've got a problem." "We've got bomb in that limo." " We've gotta stop this traffic." " Why don't we detour them?" " Good." " All right." "Hold it up, right there." "L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3, Code 33." "We have a bomb on the freeway." "Folks, will you please move down the shoulder of the freeway?" "Further down here." "7 Mary 3, what's your 10-20?" "We're 10-97 southbound Hollywood Freeway at Belmont." "The freeway is blocked." "Notify Sheriff's Department, bomb squad and S4." "Somebody help." "Help me." "Somebody help me, please." "Somebody help me." "Please." "Please." "Help me, please." "Try to calm yourself." "Help's on its way." " Come on, Baker, let's pull him out." " Just wait." " Please." " Here we go." "Okay, ready?" "Oh, no." "Wait, wait, please, wait." "All right, stay calm." "No way to get him out of there." "He's just lodged in too tight." "Hey, listen." "Try and stay calm, okay?" "We'll have you out in no time." "Help's all ready here." "What's it look like?" "We got a bomb in the back seat and a victim pinned on the other side." "All right." "We're gonna have to make a hand entry into the device." "Hey, how are you doing?" "I've seen better days." "Listen." "We're gonna have you out of here in a flash, so just hang in." "I guess I could fit that on my schedule." "Besides I don't think I'm going anywhere with that." "Yeah, I guess it does have a scratch or two, doesn't it?" "Easy, easy." "Take it easy." "Hey, what's going on?" " Nothing." " You're trying to kid us." " Listen." " I know a bomb squad when I see one." "It's just a precautionary measure, all right?" "You wanna step back there with the rest of the people?" "Thank you." "What's going on over there?" " They're just trying to move the car." " No, they're not." "They're wearing asbestos." "You don't need that to move a car." "Hey, try to calm yourself, okay?" "It's gonna be all right." "I sure hope they defuse that baby." "Yeah, me too." " I know what's wrong." " There's nothing wrong." "Asbestos." "That means fire or bomb." "And I don't smell any smoke." " It's a bomb, isn't it?" " Take it easy, take it easy." "Don't move." "You'll hurt yourself." "Just tell me." "There's a bomb in this car, isn't there?" "Listen to me." "Listen to me." "There was a bomb, but it's gone now." "All safe?" "Yeah." "We're safe." "And you stayed with me." "Even though that thing could've gone off any minute." "Hey, you fit me into your schedule." "It was the least that I could do." "Thanks." " Who's there?" " It's me, Ponch." "I brought my TV set over." "Okay, yeah, well, hang on a minute." "You've got company, huh?" "Yeah, yeah, I got company." "Sounds like a secretary." "Hey, Ponch, wait a minute." "I'll fix your Tv for you, okay?" "It'll take a while, so why don't you leave?" "And miss the game tonight?" "It'll probably just take a few minutes, Jon." "Yeah, okay." "I'll put it on the counter here and check it out, all right?" "You know, I really like this place, Jon." "You know how to live." "Turnstile in the kitchen." "I like that." "And this pay phone, I think that's great." "I just think it's your reset button, Ponch." "A saddle, a lasso." "A stereo, books, typewriter." "Hey, Jon, what do you got?" "A secretary in there, huh?" "Bulletin board..." "Bulletin board?" " Ponch, wait a minute." " What's this stuff?" "Just a minute." "Wait." "Look at me, would you?" "This is private." "Okay, now, I'll let you read it when I'm finished." ""Ponch falls in glue"?" ""Ponch loses motorcycle"?" " "Ponch burns hole in pants"?" " Yeah." ""Ponch falls in the mud"?" "Hey, you're writing a book." " Don't get excited." " You're writing a book about me." " How could you do this to me?" " Come on, don't worry." "Don't worry?" "What do you mean?" "What Getraer doesn't have in my jacket, you got on the board." " You're putting the nails in my coffin." " Ponch, relax, don't worry." "Now, look." "I didn't even use your name." ""Frank Ponchiriblo"?" "Kind of catchy, huh?" "I didn't think of it." "It was Mrs. Downey." "Remember the lady with the cookies?" "Great." "I hope you know how to spell it when you put it on my tombstone." "Come on, Ponch." "You're gonna like it, okay?" "Baloney." "Jon, think of the probation, the unemployment." "Hey, how about fame and fortune?" "Hey, what's Getraer doing on there?" "I don't know." "Let's listen." "The "toll booth bandits" as they refer to them, have struck again." "The latest robbery was at the Trestle Bridge in the Marina area except this time was more intricate." "It started at the First Securities Bank where the suspects staked out their victim." "A bonded money courier, who was picking up $50,000..." " quickly in a stolen sports car." "But you can rest assured that we have every available man alerted to keep an eye out for these suspects." "Well, thank you very much." "Sergeant Joseph Getraer from the Central Los Angeles office of the California Highway Patrol." "Those dudes are relentless." "Yeah, righteous bandits, who deserve a righteous bust." "It's pretty good, Ponch." "Righteous bandits?" "Listen, you better get going or you'll miss the game." "Hey, Jon, this book of yours, this isn't such a hot idea." "Come on, Ponch." "You'll love it." "Come out to the diamond lane tomorrow half an hour earlier." "I'll let you read some of my stuff, okay?" "Okay, I guess that couldn't hurt, but remember, my career is on the line." " Hey, Ponch." " What?" "Thanks." "Enjoy the game, all right?" ""Francis Ponchiriblo. "" ""The sleek black limousine sped by us, as if attempting to break... "" " Hey, are you listening?" " Yeah, yeah." ""To break the sound barrier, when my partner, Francis Ponchiriblo heroically took off in hot pursuit. "" "Heroically?" "Yeah, yeah, you're right." "I guess I was heroic." "Right." ""And with the bomb in the limo ticking away precious seconds my partner risked his young life by fearlessly protecting and comforting an innocent victim. "" "The public's gonna read that about me?" "You know, they might even ask for autographs and pictures." "Yeah, yeah, it could be, Ponch." "Now here, get this one, okay?" ""When suddenly, my partner, Francis Ponchiriblo like a Ro... "" ""Like a Roman soldier, gunned his mighty two-wheeled stallion. "" "Roman soldier." "I like that." "Yeah." "And listen to this, I knew you would." ""And as he's coming down the runway, he... "" "We got one, Ponch." "He gunned his mighty two-wheeled stallion." "Hey, Wambaugh, looks like three people to me." "I don't think so, Ponch." "Nice try." "What do you mean, "nice try"?" "You can't drive in the diamond lane unless you have two passengers." "If you'll excuse me, I do have two passengers." "Where does it say that Zorro is not a passenger?" "Hey, wait a minute." "I mean, humans are passengers, right?" "Not dogs." "Well, I consider him to be human." "And you better watch yourself, officer." "Zorro doesn't like being called a dog." "May I see your driver's license and registration?" "You're wasting your time if you think I'll pay." "I'll have you spending half of your life in court." "That's your privilege, sir." "I'll get that for you, sir." "Ponch." "Mind stepping out of the vehicle, please?" "That stuff is none of your business." "To the rear, please." "Get a load of that luggage." "I'm telling you, this stuff is none of your business." "Maybe." "Would you mind telling us what your business is?" "Appliances." "Yeah." " New appliances?" " Yeah." "Then how come there's crumbs in the toaster?" " We deal in used appliances also." " Oh, yeah." "You got any receipts for any of this stuff?" "Not on me." "Where is your store?" "In Bakersfield." "Bakersfield?" "That's where I'm from." "Up by the stockyard when you come..." "Actually, it's not in Bakersfield." "It's closer to Lancaster." " Yeah, that's right, Lancaster." "Yeah." " Well, isn't that funny?" "I'm from Lancaster." "Born and raised there." " You were?" " Yeah, kind of a small town." "You know everybody." " You do?" " Yeah." "But I don't remember you." "Well, the town is not really Lan..." "Listen, I think you ran out of cities." "Give me your driver's license and registration, okay?" "Thanks a lot." "Here comes your ride." "Do you think you can write it so that I saw the dog first?" "I mean, I think it'll read better in the book." " Book?" "What book?" " Oh, Jon's writing a book." "About us, our day-to-day experiences on the road." "Is that true, Jon?" "Yeah, sarge." "I'm not too far along but I got..." "You know, you can't just write a book about the department without asking questions." " What do you mean?" " First of all, it's gotta go to the captain." "Then the division commander, the assistant commissioner..." "The commissioner, get approved." "All the facts have to be cleared with our legal department." "Then, of course, everything has to be done in triplicate." "Triplicate?" "Why all the red tape?" "Well, the department's very sensitive about lawsuits." "So the attorney general's office is gonna have to get involved." "Attorney general?" "What do I have to do, take a loyalty oath?" " I mean..." " Look, look, look." "Let me explain." "Look, all the stories about the CHP have to be portrayed to fit the image of the officers involved, especially if they're factual." "Oh, Jon's doing a great job about that, sarge." "I'm a Roman soldier." "You're a what?" "15-7 Adam L.A. Check a suspicious vehicle:" "A late-model Mercedes at Columbus Bridge toll booth." "Possible 211 suspects." "Repeat, suspects are in a late-model Mercedes." "You Roman soldiers wanna roll on that?" "Come on, Ponch." " Hey, have one for later." " Thanks." "Call the police." " What happened?" " I don't know." "He got lucky." "Yeah, well, we didn't." "I flooded it." "Well, come on, let's find other car." "Come on, be a nice lady, sit down over here." "L.A. 7 Adam, 211 suspects have commandeered a Plymouth." "They're traveling north on the Pacific Coast Highway near Oak." "Are you all right?" "Okay, put your left hand on your head." "It looks like your car-racing days are over, buddy." "You're lucky to walk away from this one too." "Hey, Behr, Fritz." "Wanna run them down to Parker?" " We'll do the paperwork." " Will do." "You know, it's like you said:" "Righteous criminals, righteous bust." "But I do feel that it's your turn to do the paperwork." "Yeah, sure, it'll go like this:" ""The drawbridge raised like a giant cannon. "" "No, that's no good." "Maybe like this:" ""The drawbridge raised like a giant... "" "Waking giant?" "Hey, that's perfect." "That's perfect, Jon." "Listen to this." ""We raced down the highway like a... "" ""We raced down the highway like... "" "Here, check this out, maybe..." ""Like a bullet searching for a target. "" "Hey, I like that." " We got a bestseller here, Jon." " Yeah." "I mean, we can make a million..." "What's the matter?" "What's this "we" stuff?" "Well, we're partners, aren't we?" "It'll be great for the morale of the force." "Because you can tell it like it really is." "Insight, that's what makes it good." "To learn that they've got guys like me and you on the team." "It'll make a terrific movie." "I wonder who they'll get to play me?" "Jack Nicholson, I like him." "But he's not good-looking enough." "Yeah, I'm sure he isn't." "Close the door." "Yeah, sure." "Maybe we'll get Redford, huh?" "But he'll have to dye his hair, for sure." "I better start figuring out what I'm gonna do with my royalty." "That's a lot of money." "The first thing I'll do is I'll gonna buy new shocks for my motor home." "Yup." "And then maybe I'll take a trip." "I'll go to Monte carlo." "Hey, what are you doing?" "Who am I kidding, Ponch?" "I mean, I'm no writer." "What do you mean, you're no writer?" "Don't you remember, Jon?" "The sunlight dancing off the top of the cars?" "The Roman soldier who gunned his mighty two-wheeled stallion, huh?" "The drawbridge that raised like a walking giant?" "Waking giant, all right?" "Hey, either way, you're terrific, Jon." "You're really great." "Hey, Ponch." "Don't you understand?" "These are just adjectives." "Adjectives I borrowed from other people's novels, dictionary, everywhere." "I mean, it's like Getraer said, huh?" "It's all this red tape." "Triplicate forms." "I'll be so old, there's no way I can finish the book." "No, that's nothing." "I'll help you." "Think of me, Jon, and my public out there." "I have been thinking of you, Ponch, and you know what?" "I do not really feel sincerely that the public is ready for Francis Ponchiriblo." "Hey..." "Sorry, old buddy."