"When will we be in Ithaca?" " About three hours..." " Twenty minutes." " Three hours." " Get comfy." "Get comfy." "What about taking a nap?" "Feel like a little nap?" "Just put your head down and go to sleep?" "Nahhhh..." "Oh, honey, you're making a mess." "It's not me doing it, it's the cookies." "Oh, right." "You're like a little lawyer." "I just cleaned it." "Good job!" "Last time I was with Uncle Tim in Ithaca," "Ummm..." "I was, I was... running around in a field of grass." " Yeah." " And climbing mountains." "Wow!" "And... watching shows about volcanoes." " I'm thirsty!" " Okay." "What do you want, milk or juice?" "Ummm, milk." "Or beer?" "Beer..." "I'm going to pull in right up here." "Get a fill-up on four, please." "Here's a bathroom, Jessie." " You got it?" " Yeah." "Will you get me a cup, and I'll get him some milk." "Yeah." "Just get him some juice." "How you doing?" "Need me to wipe for you?" "You're the worst." "Jessie?" "Okay, buddy, let's go!" " Let's go, Jessie!" " Did he lock the door?" "Sir, can you unlock this please?" "Thanks." "Jess?" "Jessie!" "Jessie..." " Jessie!" " Jess!" "He's here." "Jessie!" " Fuckin' hell..." " Doesn't anyone else work here?" "Yeah, but he's out at lunch." "Jess!" "Jessie!" "Jessie!" "Jess!" "Is he there?" "No!" "Jessie!" "Jessie!" "Jess!" "C'mon, goddamnit!" "Jessie!" "Jessie!" "Jessie!" "It's okay." "Sorry, I took her wine, I'll take both!" "She's not drinking anything!" "It's just that we're having a dinner party so..." "We can talk about fucking bullshit." "Is there any more wine, or is this what I'm dealing with?" "I'll just have one of this, it'll be easier to talk about..." "Nothing, this is a problem." " Ma'am," " You know..." " I'm sorry..." " We will fix this!" "Don't worry..." "Shhh, stop being angry." " Wow, is that is mad face?" " That is his mad face!" " So mad." " Whew!" "Get her some water, maybe?" "Okay." "She's still on lithium, so she probably shouldn't be drinking like that, sorry." "Please." " She's having a good time." " Yeah." "Just let her... spread her wings." "Might make her jog home beside the car." "It's good to see you guys out, finally." " It's been a year, man." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Oh Sarah..." " You know what?" " What, babe?" "You would make an excellent mother." "I got an email from my brother." "He's coming to the city." "He wants to stay here?" "He's such a fucking mess." "I know..." "A total fuck-up." "We grow accustomed to the dark." "When light is put away, as when the neighbor holds a lamp to witness her good-bye," "A moment, we, uncertain, step for newness of the night, then fit our vision to the dark, and meet the road, erect, and..." "And so of larger darknesses, those evenings of the brain when not a moon disclose a sign, or star come out." "Within the bravest, grope a little, and sometimes hit a tree directly in the forehead." "But as they learn to see, either the darkness alters, or something in the sight adjusts itself to midnight." "And life steps almost straight." "Thoughts?" "Impressions?" "What does the poet mean by "accustomed"?" "Enrique?" "Well, where it says, "as they learn to see,"." "And "adjusts itself to midnight,"" "I think that's when you see better in the dark." "How?" "You get used to it." "Until it gets light again." "What did you think of the poem, Alma?" "It was heavy." "Heavy..." "How?" "Well..." "It's like you don't know when it's going to be light again." "It might just keep getting darker." " No!" " Let go!" "Right now!" "No!" "So, what did we tell you about stealing, huh?" "I don't remember!" "If everyone stole books from the library, there would be none left for anyone else!" "Can I just...?" "Can I just read this one?" "Look, look, look!" "The elephants, look!" "When they die, it's inconceivable, when they die, their memory..." " Go to the office." " No!" " Now!" " No!" "Adam, get your butt off this floor right now, and you get to the principal's now!" "Well, you know, the thing about the brain, or, I should say... the conscious brain, is that all you can do is scan things from left to right, absorbing information in these long, continuous sequences," "which is why it takes so long to get educated." "But the unconscious..." "The unconscious is a completely different story." "It's a whole different level of learning." "Because words have no intrinsic meaning, they're just pointers..." " Right." " We see this, we see that..." "What is this?" "This is a fucking table." "Who says it's a fucking table, but I've named it, and separated it out from everything else and Bob's your uncle, right?" "But that's not how kids see it, or animals," "When you drown out all the noise and the static, and simply look at what's actually there." "Sorry." "And the thing that I'm grappling with by just focusing on the most obvious linear input stream." "Wow, looks like you've been busy." "Yeah, a little bit." "It sounds complicated." "That's my point, right there..." " That's what you say." " It's complicated to me, you have a good handle on it." "I have a different idea." "You seem to have a grasp of it." "Hey, you guys want to go karaoking later on?" "Yeah, let's see how we feel after dinner." " Thanks for having me." " You're welcome." "Gimme a hug, alright?" "My fucking brother." "Oh, wow, thank you, that's really nice, thanks." "I want you to know I really appreciate this." "No worries." "I fucking loved that kid." "Can't believe it's been a year." "He really loved you too." "Did he really?" "Imagine that." "Oh, fuck..." "And yet you never once remembered his birthday." "Okay, the fact that I'm a super-flawed individual." " Is already on the table." " How hard was that, Tim?" "For a self-medicating asshole like me, it was hard, yeah." "Look, are you mad at me right now?" "Jiggle the handle on the bathroom if you go, it gets stuck." " Are you a retard?" " What?" "My mom says you should be in a special school." "A trooper stopped his van outside Harrisburg." "Take a moment, huh?" "Think back to that day." " Come on." " You see if he looks familiar." "No..." "No." "Where's he from?" "Upstate New York." "He's got a farm outside of Longville." "We found a hard drive in the back of his van." "There were images, young boys, children..." "Okay, you know, this has nothing to do with us." "It very well may not." "I wanna see this fucking guy right now!" "You know that's not possible." "Yeah?" "Sarah, are you sure you don't want to take a closer look?" "Oh, forget it." "Okay..." "I'll keep you updated." " Who are we listening to?" " Burzum." " You buy this for yourself?" " It's my older brother's." "Does he know you're listening to it?" "He's in Afghanistan." "Listen, Alma..." "You're a smart person, but you don't turn in your homework." "So I'm going to have to fail you." "Or you could just get motivated." "Yeah..." "Just do you best, okay?" "Okay." "Oh!" "Jesus!" "Is that supposed to feel good?" " Is that the idea?" " No." "It hurts." "You feel so, like, unreal, you know?" "Like..." ""Twilight Zone," just removed from reality." "Everybody's moving at different speeds from everybody else." "Like you're moving in slow motion, and the world is... zipping around you..." "Hi!" "Welcome." "There is a place that you get to that's beyond all of that," "You move through to a place of peace and acceptance." "And it's not just for you, but for the person that you lost, too." "And if you can just stay focused on the positive, every day find a way to touch the positive in your life, and eventually your journey will lead you there." " Eventually?" " Yeah." "It takes, I don't know, as long as it takes." " You know?" " Yep." "Anybody else want to share?" "Jenna?" "When you first lose that person, you think you're not gonna be... able to go back to normal, you know, and you don't, but it changes and..." "You know..." "I really related to what you said about..." "Our next door neighbors growing up had a kid with Asperger's." "You gave her your birthday, or a date in history, when Lincoln was shot, she'd tell you exactly what day of the week it was." "Not Adam Heywood." "Nope, just elephants." "He wears the same shirt every day." " Does he have parents?" " Foster parents." "His mom's a piece of work." "And for sure, the dad has a record." "You've seen them?" "Adam forgets his lunch like three times a week." "And his mom has to bring it to him." "And she is always super-duper pissed about it." "Yeah, I can't believe what she feeds them." " What?" " Fried chicken, every day." "It's disgusting." " Hey, how's it going?" " Hi, Pete." "You know it's a process, right?" "Just gotta hang in there, man." " That's all." " Yeah." "Thanks." "This world is so out of our control, you know?" "Things just happen to us, the worst things and we just gotta... be able, at the end of the day, just say," "You know what Ted usually tells us?" ""The only way past is through."" "Yeah..." "You know, I've never known what happened to you." "Do you mind my asking?" "Ahh, yeah, just..." "It was my daughter." "My daughter, she was coming home... on her bike from a friend's house, she had slept over and..." "And this investment banker guy was coming home drunk from some bachelor party and..." "And he hit her." "And, he took off, and he left her on the side of the road." "And my marriage, it just..." "My wife and I, we were just... just..." "It's been, what, about two years now?" "I still wake up every morning expecting them to be there." "I even prayed to God, I asked Him how to deal with this..." "How do I live with it?" "And He answered me, and He said, "Look inside."" ""Let that guide you."" "You know, it's funny, this city..." "You know how you bump into people all the time?" "I keep thinking..." "I keep thinking that I'm going to bump into the guy." "Right, I mean, he did his time and now he's out, and what if I bump into him down in the subway station with his kids, waiting for the train, train comes in..." "And I push him." "I push him right into the tracks." "You know, just watch his body fucking come apart." " What'd you get?" " Drumsticks." "Is that it?" "Hey, how do you know what the word "inconceivable" means?" "I don't know, I just do." " What's that?" " Zarontin." "It's for my seizures." "It's an anti-epileptic." ""Anti" mean against and..." "It's much better than Depakote because it doesn't make me constipated." "And of course, to be taken with meals." "I'm doing bad in school." "It's a problem." "What subjects are you having trouble with?" "I don't know, all of them." "Did you know that elephants walk on their tiptoes?" "They have four toes on their forelimbs, and three toes on their hindlimbs." "You're a really smart kid." "You know that?" "No." "Can I have a sip of your soda?" "No?" "I'll just choke." "Turn the music off for me, please." "I'm not gonna ask you twice." "Yeah, I'd be happy to." "Come in." "What's the problem?" "Thank you very much!" "Guess what?" "The neighbors fucking called cause your beats are shit!" " Don't give me your finger!" " Fuck you." " Excuse me?" " You heard what I said." " No, say it again." " I said fuck you." " Fuck you!" " Hey, hey..." " You don't say that to me!" " Don't do that!" " Stop that." " It's fucking bullshit!" "Do me a favor, move over here, okay?" "Actually, no, go back to the room." "Why do I have go in the other room?" "Let me talk to her." "So I'm sorry to break her shit, but she's running around town fucking everybody!" "It's really hard for me not to!" "Just go into the back..." "Oh, little baby gonna cry?" "Sorry, asshole." "But look, it's not my problem?" "What am I apologizing for?" "What am I...?" "Okay, I'm sorry." " For being a little bitch!" " Okay..." " Cut the..." "Nice!" " Uuughhhhh!" "Ahhhh..." "Can I sit down?" "Yeah, sure." "Can I assume that you're the rational one?" "Yeah." "Bullshit!" "Bullshit!" " He does not exist." " I'm right here, baby!" "I'm right here!" "Has he ever hurt you?" "No." "He's never fucking hit me, he's too much of a pussy." "Relationships suck!" "They suck!" "Do you have a girlfriend?" " That's fucked up, man." " No, it's not fucked up!" " Bullshit!" " Okay..." "You two..." "You're driving the neighbors crazy so..." "Figure it out." " Have a great day." " Wait." "Are you leaving?" "Yeah, don't make me come back either." "Wait!" "I'm breaking up with you then." "Take care of your fish." "Have a good day." "Hi." "Hey." "Is everything okay?" "Yeah, I'm just cleaning." "Are you getting rid of these horrible things?" "Un-huh..." " Unless you want them." " Well, I..." "Yeah, I didn't wanna ask, but I saw this... this one about "Feminine Mystique," and I thought..." "Oh, how appropriate." "Yeah." "You need any help with anything?" "No." "You know, there was a..." "I had a... a house-sitting thing, that sort of fell through, and there was a... a teaching thing, and then I sort of..." "You know, I don't know, it's all just like..." "I think I gonna go back to Portland and... try to apply back to grad school though." "Hey, you know I feel like..." "It seems like I'm just hovering and I..." "I'm just taking up space but..." "I'll be out of here before you know it." "But I wanted to say if there's something that you need, somebody to talk to, that I've got big ears." " And I'm a good listener." " Okay." "Sorry." "Alright." "Have to..." "Okay." "Okay." "Alright." "Food okay?" "Un-huh." "Why don't you eat something?" "Just wondering what he's doing right now?" "Adam, we can't keep doing this." " When's she coming?" " I dunno." "Soon." "Lunch is going to be over by the time she gets here." "What the fuck is the matter with you, huh?" " What?" " Sorry." " Right." "What's new." " Thank you." "Menthol Lights." "No debit card purchase of under $20." "For real?" "Fuckin' Christ..." "Can you just...?" "Come on, dude." "Cash only." " Fuck me!" " I can get it." "No, hey, I..." "You don't have to..." "Yeah, it's fine." "Just put it all together." "You don't have to do that." "I know." "Thanks." "Hey, I got a pen in my car," "I'll get your address, I'll pay you back." "No, it's okay." "No, really, I don't like owing anybody anything." "It's not necessary." "Hey!" "I sell supplements." "You know Metabolife?" "If you're interested, I'll hook you up." "Oh..." "Great stuff, we're running a promotion right now." "No, no, it's okay." "It's good stuff." " You sure?" " Yeah." "Alright." "Do you have any kids?" "Me, no." "Why?" "Ahhh..." "It's not really a family vehicle." "Oh..." "Yeah, you know, got no time for it." "Focusing on my career, and what not." " How about you?" " Yeah, I have a little boy." "Mothers and sons..." "They have a special bond, right?" " Right, thanks..." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Standing alone in the house that I grew up in, there's a... big field back behind it, and I can..." "And I can see Jessie back there." "There's real tall grass back there and... he's just kind of appearing and... disappearing..." "And he looks just totally on his own." "He just used to have a..." "He had a real..." "He had a real good time just playing on his own by himself." "And..." "You know, I can just see that he's happy." "And, you know, I can hear him laughing." "And that always..." "That always used to make me laugh." "He had, like a..." "He had a real funny little laugh cause he was so little..." "When he'd laugh really hard..." "He had, like this real... real deep laugh." "And it didn't even sound like, you know, it... could come out of him, and always used to make me laugh." "Ah..." "Thanks." "So good, so good, Phil, and..." "And that's a place that you can go back to anytime, right?" ""Over 100,000 Elephants Killed by Poachers in the Last Three Years."" "Take your time, there's one photo in particular we'd like you to look at." "So, it's two children, I can see that." "Two boys... facing away from the camera..." "Jesus, I don't know, maybe..." " Sarah, if you want to..." " It's not him." "Could you please just look at it?" "This is complete bullshit!" "It's not him." "Please take a look at it." "So besides the photos, what else do you have?" "The forensic team is up at his property now." "Fuck..." "Hey..." "Jessie is fine." "I can feel it." "Sarah..." "Sarah?" "This is real." "Alright?" "So you need to wake the fuck up!" "Morning." "Seen Sarah?" "She went out earlier, she's..." "She went to school." "She needs help, Tim." "You know what I think?" "I think she's gonna figure it out herself." "Yeah?" "Yeah..." "Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me, the carriage held but just ourselves and immortality." "Okay." "Good." "Can anyone tell me what the carriage of this... poem is..." "Be right back." "Great fucking block." "Come on!" " Huh?" " Yeah." "Well, you gotta loosen up." "Got a tennis fan over here." "No, it was a good block." "Thanks, man, thank you very much." "Right!" "Cheers, fellas." "What's that all about?" "Oh, ahhh..." "Kelly." "She's..." "Get this..." "She's pregnant." "No shit!" "Yeah, man, it's early." "How early?" "Like..." "Four months." "What, you weren't gonna tell me?" "What are you talking about, man?" "I just told you." " Hey, it's fucking awesome!" " Thank you!" "What is it?" "It's a..." "It's a boy." "Wow, a baby!" "That is outstanding." "Thanks, man." " You must be so proud." " I am." "We gotta celebrate." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." " Get another round." "Maybe next week, we can do something." "Oh, when?" " I dunno, Wednesday, or..." " Next week?" "I gotta check with the boss, but I'll call you." "Shit, man, I should go." "I got a doctor's appointment..." "Doctor's appointment?" "This shit's starting to get real, right?" "Yeah, man, really real." "Pretty exciting time, hold on, man." "What?" "You think I'm gonna get it on you?" " Get what?" " My bad luck?" "What do you mean, "Come on, man"?" " Phil..." " Why are you acting like this?" "Think I'm going to infect you?" "Phil, that's enough, man." "And talk to these guys, you're not gonna talk to me?" "Just want you to act like my fuckin' friend." "So what's up?" "Hey." " How you doing today?" " Great." "How are you doing?" "Wish I'd slept a little bit more." "Could use a cup of coffee." "We'll get you one." "What, you know the owner?" "What is that?" "His address." " Where'd you get this?" " Look, Pete..." "You just do whatever you need to do." "Okay?" "No judgment." "What's the matter with you?" "Nothing." "Nothing..." "I'm just trying to help." "How is this supposed to help me?" "Well, I mean, it's what you wanted." "We were sitting right there, you told me..." "I think it was just..." "I dunno, I was talking, that's all, just talking." "Hell, we were sitting right there, you said..." "Dude, Dude, this is not helping." "What kind of friend are you, man?" "I need to speak with Mrs. Anderson." "Sarah?" "Can I have a word with you?" " Time to go?" " Yeah." "Mr. Ciccarella will be right in." "Does my brother know where you are?" "No." "Is that okay with you?" "No, no..." "Why?" "That's DMT." "Stop." "My son is alive." " He's out there..." " He's out there." "You feel him?" "Yes!" "He's out there." "He is." "He's living with another family." "What family?" "What family?" "Tequila." "I know who you are." "I know who you are." "You're a teacher... at Essex County, right?" "I know, I know, cause I've seen you..." "I've..." "My son goes to school there." "Yeah, not teaching today, huh?" "No." "What is it, recess?" "My son's name is Adam." "He's "special needs." You'd recognize him if you saw him." "There's a lot of kids." "You know what this song's supposed to be about?" "It's about a fire lake?" "Wow, you are a teacher." "You send your son to a regular school?" "Yeah, until they kick him out." "You don't send him to a special education program, or anything?" "No, he's..." "He's a foster kid, right?" "And the agency claims they didn't know about his condition." "We thought we were getting a... normal kid?" "Yeah right, okay, I'm an asshole, alright?" "But you know, look, it's a burden." "They don't let you just dump him?" "I'm glad you weren't my teacher." "You should be." "Look, I mean..." "He's a sweet kid, but if you're looking for Rain Man, or like a math genius, or a classical fucking pianist, you're out of luck." "Out of luck." "I heard that a lot of these kids, though, they're gifted." "You just have to recognize what it is." "Oh, he's gifted in staring at the fucking TV all day." "Yeah." "So am I." "And what's your special talent?" "What are you good at...?" "Do that, do that!" "Do that!" "Yes...!" "Is it three o'clock yet?" "No." "I'm supposed to pick up Adam." "You still have an hour." "Adam, your dad's here." " That's not my dad." " Adam, I'm not a babysitter." "You wanna spend the night here at school, or do you wanna go home?" "Hi, Adam!" "Where's my dad?" "Your dad told me to come get you." " You know Joe?" " I do." "I know Joe." "Old Joe Crow, who likes to crow..." "Hey, did you know that birds clean elephants?" "And, and..." "And that's called "symbiosis."" "Adam, why don't you get in the car?" "And you can tell me about, and we can go." "Are you gonna take me home?" "Uh-huh." "Unless there's somewhere else you'd like to go." "I would like to go to Africa." "There's the most amazing elephant sanctuary there." "Okay." " Really." " Mm-hmm." " You serious?" " Yeah." " How was school?" " It was alright." "Good." "The flight must be long." "Yeah, hours and hours." "Are there movies on the plane?" "Ah-huh, movies and TV shows." "Like "Animal Planet"?" "Yeah, we'll see, but I'm sure they have..." "Hey, you wanna get a burger first?" " White Castle?" " Yeah." " No chicken?" " Never." " Can I get sliders?" " Yep." " Can I get two?" " Yeah." " Can I get four?" " Only four?" "I'm gonna get cheese sliders, but I don't want any jalapeños." " I don't like jalapeños." " Okay..." "No jalapeños." "Hi, it's Sarah, I'm not here, so leave a message." " Is it good?" " It's delicious!" "I'm happy, Adam." "Hey, finish up, okay?" "But we just got here." "I know, but I think we should get going, we don't wanna be late." " Where's your food?" " I'm not hungry." "Well, I think you should eat if we're going on this long trip," "I don't know if there's going to be food on the plane." "I'll be okay." "I like the cheeseburgers better than the jalapeño burgers because the jalapeño burgers are spicy." "I like cheeseburgers... cause it's not spicy." "Where are you going?" " Just to the bathroom." " Are you coming back?" "Yeah." "Sarah, I don't know where you are." "I've been trying you for hours." "Please call me back, they..." "This is Mommy's room and..." "This is the bathroom." "And then here is my bedroom with the dinosaur." "And my pink shirt." " Hi." " Hi." "How you doing, big guy?" " Don't waste the battery." " I won't." " You wanna watch the show?" " No." "Okay." "Mom?" "Hey, let's go." " Why?" " Cause." " Can I bring my food?" " Yeah." "Did you know that elephants pass the mirror test?" "That means that they can recognize themselves in the mirror." "Is that the airport?" "Yeah." "You ready?" "Where are we going?" "I don't know, I don't know." "I think you should answer your phone." "Where you going?" "Where you going?" "Don't leave me!" "Wait!" "Did you see that?" "Can you stop the car?" "Pull over!" "She's an elephas maximus." "An Asian elephant." "She has a hump-like structure on her head." "Her ears don't pass her neck." "She has a dent on her forehead." "Mistral Artist" " New York"