"What do we do with this?" "There can be only one!" "Nice." "Hi, Carl." "Is that all you came to say?" "Are we done here?" "I don't know." "I don't think so." " Then, what?" " What do you mean?" "Shoot, I knew I was gonna forget this." "I got a note here." "Someone wrote me a note." "Hang on." "This says, "Start salmon hatchery in Carl's pool"." "Okey-dokey." "Where are the fish eggs?" " No, get back here!" " Hang on." "Here we go." "Wait." "That ain't a note." "That's a toy." "Here it is." ""Invite Carl to eat Thanksgiving dinner"." "Isn't that sweet?" "Too bad it was over a week ago." "Don't matter." "We're doing it today." "We don't usually celebrate." "We ain't American yet... till we pass that dumb test." "That test is a bitch." "What you got over there?" "It smells edible." "It's a traditional Thanksgiving spread." "We got a bunch of tacos we mushed up with a hammer... poured crackers on top." "That's called "taco pie"." " What, you got a bird over there?" " Yeah!" "Bird is the word!" "All right!" "Just give me a sec." "Let me adjust myself." "Yeah." "We got them." "Let's go." "Carl is gonna join us, right?" "Yep." "But he says he'd rather take his food out on the lawn... where there are witnesses." "All right." "I think we're ready." "Shake?" "You wanna lead us in a blessing before you eat?" "Or do you wanna just make a pig out of yourself right now?" "I know, but it's a racist holiday." "I stand in line with my Martian brothers... and celebrate casinoness." "So that we could enjoy the..." "Is that whipped?" "Hand me that whipped cream!" "Fine." "I'll do the prayer." "Carl!" "Bow your head out there!" "Toss me a roll!" "Lord, we give thanks for this food we're about to receive, for..." "Excuse me." "Little help?" "Could I have the tacos, please?" " ... this bounty of tacos." " Could you pass the tacos?" "Could you pass me the tacos?" " Here!" " Okay, then." " This roll is wet!" " Sorry." "Please go on." " For the fellowship we have with our..." " Wait." "What's a fellowship?" "It's a gay bar down on Ninth!" "Aren't you glad we're thanking the Lord for a nautically themed gay bar?" "For the fellowship we have with our neighbor Carl!" "No, do not rope me into this." "The Lord does not need to know that I'm here." " Please help us to be..." " Amen!" " Okay, who's gonna whittle this turkey?" " Out of the way!" "I will ruin this bird with my anger!" "Drop the chain saw if you want him to live." " I call on the dark meat!" " Shotgun!" "Shake, put that damn chain saw down." "Give it here." "But I did call "shotgun"." "That's better." "Can we get you to lower our neighbor now?" " I mean, he didn't do anything to you." " Yet." "I knew something wasn't normal!" "I'm not letting it ride this time!" "Freaking robot turkey!" "I knew something was up!" " Is he mad?" " No, don't worry about him." "He's always got his butt trapped around something." "Frylock will want to know who you're after... and then he'll say something like, "Oh, my God! "" "He's so predictable!" " Now, who the hell are you?" " I am Turkatron." "I have been sent here from the year 9595... to save this bird that lies before you." "For he is the great-great-... great-great-grandfather of Gobblox... the turkey that's destined to lead the rebellion against master chickens." "That's fine, we won't eat him, but, I mean, look at him." " He's dead." " He's dead?" "He's been in our oven for three hours at 350 degrees." " Why, that's impossible!" " Look at him!" "He's dead!" "Do you know who Gobblox is?" "I will tell you who Gobblox is." "In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey... was genetically developed by chicken scientists... as revenge against his bird brother." "These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy." "Gravy filled with the giblets from a monkey." "The French craved it, and as a result... turkey became the only food source for France... which is now called "Robofrance 29"." "I was later killed by the chickens!" "So, of course, you can see why I'm angry at those chickens." "You know, you sound very familiar to me." "Of course, I do." "Months and months ago, I came upon your neighbor... taking the form of the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the future." "But I didn't realize he was an agent, a chicken in disguise." "Sent from the year 19..." "Sent from the year 19..." "9595?" " From there." "They had evolved big time." "From beyond feathers, their beaks had softened... and they had acquired synthetic intelligence and appendages... from the chicken black market from beyond the moon!" "Are you serious?" "Carl?" "Next-door Carl?" "Is a hyper-evolved chicken from the future?" " What?" "You are?" " He is." "He ain't right!" "I knew that." "And that is why I had to return and erase his mind." "And my mind as well." "I had to be reformulated by rogue chicken scientists for the rebellion." "They crafted my sleek turkey body... which allowed for safe passage through the time rift." "So, in summation... the bird comes with me." "Dead or alive." "You don't have a choice, dude." "He's dead." "I told you that." "I must take the bird into the time rift, to a time before he was cooked." " All right." " I'm waiting for the time rift to open." "It could be anywhere at any time." "Okay, you don't mind if we eat, right?" " While you wait?" " Yes, of course." "Sure." "Is that a taco pie?" "Taco pie!" "I added food coloring 'cause it's a holiday... but it turned black, 'cause I added all the food coloring I had." "And I ate this butter straight out of the tub 'cause it tastes good." "There's a reason behind everything." "Enjoy those tacos now." "For, in 1,000 years, they will be illegal." "Think we all know why." "We know why!" "Anti-taco legislation." "Disestablishmentarianism." "That's a good story." "Why don't you sit down while you're, you know..." "This is pretty good." "I really like the flow if this place." "It screams "party"." "You know... that last bite reminds me of this severely long story... about how the chickens became a master race... through a freak accident involving radiation... and interestingly enough to me, marshmallow." "Come here!" " Is that the same guy?" " Yeah, I think so." "He's crazy!" "I think he's really from the year 9595!" " I think so, too." " Did you hear his story?" " I heard it." "And it checks out." " It is solid." "Yeah, Shake." "In the future, they all carry their belongings in a plastic bag." "That is a future bag." "I say that with all confidence." "These tube socks ought to be washed." "What has he got a bar of soap in here for?" "You're a freaking robot!" "Excuse me?" "Those are weapons!" "They are all laser-guided, and I get crazy if you touch them!" "Now, where was I?" "Yes." "It was 100 years after the tacos were assassinated..." "I thought they was illegal." "Was they dead or illegal?" "Is this your story now?" "Does this happen to you and not to me?" "Listen up, everybody!" "He's about to tell his amazing story!" "The one that happened to me and not him." " I'm sorry." "You got it." " Are you sure I have it?" "Are you sure since it happened to me, I should be the one to tell it?" "Then, yes, I thought I did." "Pass me more wine." "I shall require it to finish." " Do you want some?" " Not now." "See this thing here." "We had a major run-in... during the conflict of Mechanical Advantage 6." "Yeah, just guzzle it down." "Who cares, right?" "Damn you, Billy!" "Damn it!" "You thought you had my mind under your control... but now who's strapped to a wall... enslaved by the chickens?" "You are strapped to the wall, man!" "Wait!" "Come on!" "Give me a break, will you?" "Down in front, do you mind?" "I'm not!" "And who is now?" "You are, Dick!" " Is that a time rift?" " The time rift!" "Is that a time rift over there?" " No, that's a curtain." " Move." " Are you all right?" " Get out of the time rift!" "You have no idea where this will send you!" "Okay, man, look." "You wanna lay down in the back for a little while... while you're waiting for your rift?" "Yeah, you wanna lie down because I hit you in the face?" "He's out." "Hurry." "Fine, I am not spinning." " Don't touch me!" " You son of a..." "Okay, I think that's got it!" "Check him for weapons!" "These socks here are laser-guided." "Be gentle with those." "And this toothbrush does something, too." "It cleans my teeth!" "The chickens polluted my gums with plaque." "What are you doing?" "Get out of my mind!" "There we go." "Hey, you all!" "Gobble gobble!" "I'm Tom Turkey!" "Do the hustle!" " Look!" "Look at this!" " Well, that explains it." "Robot turkey toy recall." "Not that!" "Down here." "The picture." "Look." " What, a pantyhose ad?" " You better believe it!" " It says here they made..." " Give me that." "It's mine." "It says here they made 5,000 of those things." "Seriously?" "Five thousand of that chick?" "No." "Five thousand Hustlin' Tom Turkeys!" "Oh, no!" " Hello?" " We are here for the..." "Next door, people!" "Right next door!" "I'm sorry." "Thank you." "You have got to be freaking kidding me." "What are you eating?" "This is your great-great-great..." "Your mother."