"Why don't you put some ant powder on that, cap?" "Thanks, señor." "It's closed." "Come on!" "Well, it says "ladies," don't it?" "Aah!" "Señor patterson, the door i have closed!" "And i have opened." "Put some hinges on him." "You can never tell when i might want to bring a lady in here, rudolfo!" "Si, señor." "Si, señor." "Nick!" "Rudolfo's letting this place run down." "Yes, sir, a little worse every 10 years." "I've begun to notice it myself." "Minnie's calling you, mr." "Patterson." "Who?" "Just a ship, miss maria." "Oh." "Dear old minnie toper." "Champagne." "Champagne." "Champagne to say hello, and champagne to say good-bye." "Not today, señor." "We don't shake for the last one, like always?" "Not like always." "Oh." "Well, maybe you got 'em loaded up a little, huh, nick?" "Ok, roll 'em." "11." "loaded with luck!" "Mm-hmm." "Well, maybe if i speak real nice to 'em, maybe they'll talk back to me, huh?" "They talk to you, and cry for me." "Well... say you love me." "I'll make believe i believe it." "I love ya." "Aw, harry, try saying "i love no girl more."" "How many times we said good-bye, pal?" "3." "3. what do you know." "3 good-byes to one gal." "I'm just a one-woman man, right, nick?" "Yes, señor." "Well, here's to the girl i'll never love more." "What's the matter?" "I don't know this girl you never love more- i hear her laughing at me." "Sure." "Minnie." "She's always laughing." "I hope it's minnie." "Here's to minnie." "Minnie ain't fooling." "Good-bye, nick." "Hasta la vista, harry." "So long, everybody!" "Adios, amigo!" "Adios!" "Adios, señor." "Hail and farewell." "I'm going to miss you, harry." "Never to see your face again." "Black with sin and grinning like the bad angel himself." "It breaks me up inside to see you leave, harry!" "That's fine, mudge." "Let's get aboard." "We're sailing." "Ooh, i'm sailing?" "Aye, aye, bosun!" "Shipmates by the grace of heaven!" "You boys did good this trip." "Abandon!" "Cast off the lines!" "Fare thee well!" "Why do sailors drink so hard?" "Oh, that is a complicated matter." "A boy who is going to sea for the first time should be thinking of simple things." "Yes, sir." "Your family, who love you on earth." "Your mother and father, who love you in heaven." "I have them in my thoughts, great-grandfather." "I'm ramon estado." "This is my great-grandfather, señor ramon estado." "Hi." "The first mate told me i was to be under your command." "Ok, get aboard." "Thank you." "Adios." "Go with god." "With god." "Adios, grandfather." "I know my great-grandson will be safe with you." "Sure, sure." "I was a sailor myself, at one time." "Why didn't you keep that kid on the farm?" "The sea is a good school also, is it not?" "Oh, yes." "Swell, grandpa." "We turn out some awful smart seagulls and sharks." "Ok, baby, i'll hurry back." "I'll wait, harry." "I'll be like a statue facing the sea." "I won't even move!" "Ha ha!" "Don't move until i'm back." "I won't." "Get rid of this gangway!" "Aye." "Muchachos!" "Let go everything!" "Stand by, fore and aft, all hands!" "Harry, l-i'm just a little bit stung." "Yeah, yeah." "Get on those head lines!" "Sir, has this ship been properly blessed?" "Oh, sure, sure." "I bless the old tub myself, morning, noon, and night." "And don't throw 'em on the decks!" "Stow 'em below, while you're at it!" "And i say it's a proven fact that morality among british seamen is higher than among yanks." "You limeys are played out, that's why." "Oh yes?" "We still hold dominion over palm and pine." "Yeah, and under every tree sits a yank with a dame!" "Ha!" "Gus won't face the facts." "What facts?" "The facts of morality among seamen, that's what." "I say british sailors has higher morals than yanks." "Here." "Here's the statistics what proves it in black and white." "Where's the page?" "Oh, harry, that was me proof!" "Black and white!" "Black and green, pink and yellow, i can't run a deck gang with you waving books around." "Yeah!" "Pay him, gus." "So why do i pay him?" "!" "I've seen you both in port." "Pay him." "Ha!" "Thanks, harry." "You washing again?" "Oh, hello, harry." "It kind of comforts a man to scoop up seawater that's full of the sins of the world and put soap in it." "You've got sin on the brain." "Well, it'd be hard to explain to you, harry, but a man sure feels dirty after he's been in port and done the things i done." "Never mind that." "You owe me 60 pesos." "I'll give you a chance to get even before you go on watch." "Before i go on watch, harry?" "Thanks, harry." "I put you on the paint detail." "Oh, i got to get this clock back together again." "You've lost half the parts." "Couldn't fix it, anyway." "Oh, harry!" "Ain't you gonna trust me to fix nothing?" "Sure." "Fix this ventilator." "But it ain't a machine!" "It don't move!" "Sure it does!" "Did you ever look inside a piece of iron?" "You kidding me, harry?" "No, no." "This ventilator's a little sky, full of suns and moons and stars!" "They whiz around, imitating the big universe." "Yeah, harry?" "Millions of electrons and protons live in this ventilator." "And if you listen hard enough, you'll hear a guy electron whistling at a dame proton." "Love blossoms between 'em." "And what's the result of it all?" "I don't know, harry." "A piece of iron." "Paint it." "What are you looking for?" "A raft full of dames?" "No, sir." "The evening star just came out." "My grandfather says beauty like this will stay with a man always." "That why you're aboard?" "Grandfather thinks a man should travel the seas and touch hands with the universe so that he can live at peace on land." "The ocean don't do nothing but drive you ashore, and the land drives you back to sea." "That's just black water." "Don't get to thinking you can walk no place on it." "I do not know if men can walk on water, but i would not be afraid to try." "Look, kid, i got a lazy crew this trip." "It don't help none for you to stand seagull-watcher or ask dumb questions about nothing." "Get to work!" "Sorry, sir." "Ah, that's right, you ain't due on watch for another hour." "Forget what i said." "Hey, harry, there's a jap sub chasing us." "Don't go spreading wild rumors!" "No, it said sub on the book!" "Sponce is running to the captain now!" "We're on the alert!" "Sit down and cut for deal!" "Aw, harry, this ain't sensible!" "Playing cards in a crisis like this... nothing more sensible." "King's higher than queen, 2 and 2 make 4." "Do you know that we may be facing our last moment?" "So what?" "Well, i ain't in such good standing that i can afford to die with cards in my hand." "I'll hide the evidence, mudge." "And the cards is running bad for me, too... that's because of those sins i committed in chile." "If he is a jap sub, and he does get us, and if you do get killed, god's going to drop everything and jump on you for playing cards?" "You ain't that important." "Well, maybe not to you, but every man has a trembling immortal soul, and that's important to god." "All right, it is the japs!" "This is it!" "Listen to them mugs." "5 minutes ago, they were too lazy to draw a decent breath." "Harry, a man has an actual right not to want to be dead!" "Ah, soon as the danger's over, they'll be sitting on their barnacles and grousing." "Harry, please!" "We'll be trapped in here." "We'll die in here!" "Uh-uh, not me." "I'm not dying yet." "Yeah, but how do you know that?" "I ain't gonna die till i'm good and ready!" "Look at it." "Miles deep, but nothing to drink." "Ok, gus, ok." "What gripes me most is i ain't getting paid for this." "Who says so?" "The company." "The minute you're torpedoed, the company stops your pay." "Here." "Shuffle the cards." "I can't play anymore." "I'm bushed, harry." "Really bushed!" "Well, 5 days in the sun's a little rugged." "How is it, ramon?" "Good." "Harry... he's going to let me go." "Yeah, you'll get home all right, kid." "Sure, sure." "You're going to make it." "Here, kid." "Drink this." "Get his head, mudge." "That's our rations!" "You got no right to- you don't mean that, gus." "You're better than that." "We ain't gonna drink water when we get to port." "We're gonna drink whiskey." "I guess he decided to walk home." "Ramon died fine." "He didn't feel nothing." "That's a good enough way to die, without feeling it." "That's a good enough way to live, brother." "Here, pass this on to gus." "Hand me that canvas." "I gotta pray, harry." "It's our only chance!" "Who's stopping you?" "The kid prayed." "You see god, you got to save harry." "I'm not asking this for myself." "You ask it for yourself." "Harry don't really mean that, god." "He knows you took the only one of us that was in any shape to die." "Leave me out of it." "I'm asking for harry and gus and limo and model t." "I'm not asking for me!" "But if you send help, i'll live a better life." "I'll never even look at bad women no more." "Huh!" "Now you're gonna bargain with him!" "I'll never touch another drop of hard liquor, so help me." "I'll never use a knife on another man in a fight, no matter how much bigger he is than me." "You got yourself out on a limb now, brother." "I know you hear harry, god, but forgive his sacrilege and his mocking." "I'll give you all my money, all of it, to your church, so help me." "Oh, now you're gonna cheat him." "You ain't got a dime!" "Yes i have, too. $2,500 cash- you know that, god- in a savings account in the maritime union bank in frisco." "And i'll give every penny of it to your church, so help me." "That's a sucker deal, mudge." "You couldn't keep one of those promises, let alone 4." "Yes i can, god." "Don't listen to harry." "I swear on my immortal soul." "On my trembling immortal soul, i swear it!" "We're saved!" "Thank god!" "My prayer done it!" "Well, well!" "So we got a navy." "Cor blimey, gus, you look like a real gent." "Yeah, limo, i feel like a gent outside and a wolf inside." "You sure you cut all the hairs out of my ears?" "Everything is shipshape now, sir." "That torpedoing must have been a terrible experience." "Yes, sir, you merchant marine boys got just as much right to call yourselves heroes as anyone on the front lines." "Yeah, yeah." "Hey, you nicked me on the chin." "Where's my citation?" "They gave harry a medal one time, but a pelican swallered it." "Yeah, we was trolling it for bait." "Well, i'm all clean and neat, and now i'll- ok, mudge." "And for being so rugged on the raft, you can have second choice of the tomatoes." "Oh no, harry, i'm not going with you." "Remember?" "Remember what?" "I got the money, the $2,500 for the church." "That was a solemn oath, harry, the kind a man's got to keep." "I'd be highly honored was you to come along." "I ain't in on the deal." "Oh." "Well, then, i'll have to handle this transaction by myself." "What's all the rush?" "A man of strong moral character might wait, but i better not." "Hold it." "Ain't you forgetting something?" "Oh, no, harry." "I've got every promise memorized." "No women, no liquor, no knife fights, and the church donation." "But we ain't drunk the minnie tober down." "I know that, harry, but- hey, you guys, mudgin don't want to drink the minnie tober down!" "You've got to do that, mudgin!" "She was a good ship!" "And her bilge didn't stink." "He's reflecting on you, harry!" "Oh, no, harry." "I'll say so!" "A guy that won't drink a lost ship down reflects on his bosun!" "Yeah!" "He don't have to do anything on my account." "All right, all right, i'll do it on your account, harry." "But just one short beer." "*... of you, of you, i'm dreaming * * the sea rolls wide 'tween me and dublin town *" "what's the matter with handsome tonight?" "I don't know." "He don't like blondes and he don't like brunettes." "Why don't you settle for me, then, big boy?" "You're a nice redhead, but i'm looking for a dame with green hair and purple eyes." "*... green on irish ground * scamps and scalawags!" "Maura o'flaherty left weeping on the docks!" "Just keening like a banshee!" "L- i'll bear no more of it!" "No more of it!" "Waiter." "Waiter!" "It's gone, harry." "My money's gone." "I was rolled." "It's gone, all right." "It ain't up there, mudge." "We turned the dump inside-out." "This is what you get for breaking all those promises." "Well, i didn't knife anybody." "No, you ain't violated the atlantic charter." "Police!" "Police!" "Limo and model t!" "They're still up there." "Come on." "Here he is!" "Hey!" "Where you been keeping yourself, mudge?" "In an alley someplace." "He's got the bloody rotten shakes, harry." "What's the matter, pal?" "You hurt?" "I'm awful scared, harry." "Of what?" "I don't know." "Well, we ain't got all day." "Let him talk." "Spit it out, mudge." "In the fight, i threw my knife away, not wanting to cut a man, you understand?" "And it struck another man in the arm." "I saw the blood dripping, and i looked down at my hands like this, and then, sudden-like, i ran." "Then it happened." "What happened?" "I lost my soul." "You lost what?" "My weeping immortal soul, harry." "Like a nightmare." "Like a hand reaching into my chest and tearing something open." "A shiny little seed no bigger than a pinpoint come out of here, and i grabbed at it, and... and it drifted away in the fog." "Cor blimey!" "No wiring or nothing attached, mudgin?" "Not a thread." "Not a cobweb, even." "It was like a little firefly." "I'm awful glad you're here, harry." "This is my fault, too." "Oh, no, no." "You can't say that, harry." "If a man loses his soul, that's his own personal responsibility." "How long you gonna put up with this little guy?" "He's bug-eyes, he's cuckoo." "That ain't so, gus." "I'm as rational as you are." "You gotta take it into account i saw my soul disappear up powell street." "Maybe it happened like he says." "He sure looks like all of a sudden he lost his magneto." "You feel kind of like you ain't getting the juice, mudgin?" "I don't feel nothing- all numb-like inside." "Ah, baloney!" "You ain't got a soul, mudgin." "Nobody's got a soul." "So how can you lose what don't exist?" "I saw it, gus." "Well, go find the thing, then!" "You ought to take this matter up with a good church of england reverend." "Oh, a preacher wouldn't know!" "Why wouldn't he know?" "It's his bloomin' business to know, isn't it?" "Preachers only know about souls that leave a dead body and go straight to heaven or hell." "I bet a good electrician could tell mudgin more." "Maybe mudgin's dead and don't know it." "Leave him alone, gus." "Are you nuts, too?" "Don't tell me you believe his screwy talk!" "I don't believe in nothin'." "Oh, you gotta believe it, harry." "We're all shipmates." "It's like i told you i had cancer or something." "You wouldn't just laugh it off and ditch me." "That's exactly what he's gonna do!" "Go on, beat it!" "You've imposed on harry long enough." "I said leave him alone, gus." "Ok." "Oh, look out, harry!" "You'll never learn." "You still telegraph that right." "It's all right, it's all right." "They're close friends." "I'll see you later." "You guys take care of mudge." "Now harry's sore at me." "You sore at gus, harry?" "No, i like gus fine." "I'll see you later, gus." "Where you going, harry?" "Harry!" "Don't leave me!" "Harry!" "Wait for me!" "I wouldn't feel so bad if i knew what to do, hmm?" "He... he wouldn't just put a guy in the doghouse and leave him there." "Harry." "Harry!" "God's asking me to keep my promises." "All right, all right, it's all my fault!" "Oh, no, l-l- yeah, yeah." "Go get it off your mind." "Buy yourself a drink." "It ain't safe for me to be alone." "A man running around without a soul?" "Hold it." "Where's lucille?" "Don't she work here anymore?" "No, she had tough luck." "Fell downstairs the other night and broke her leg." "I got her address here someplace." "You want it?" "Not with a broken leg, i don't!" "Harry, come here!" "Now what?" "Lookit!" ""The tree of knowledge is rooted in the ages."" "Maybe they know about a case like mine." "You come in with me while i ask 'em." "Me, go in that dump?" "Oh, but i can't talk to library people." "You're my bosun." "You talk for me at mast." "You ain't at mast!" "I am so at mast!" "I'm up before the captain!" "The real captain." "And those gooks in there are gonna help you?" "Well, they're swell educated." "Educated people might, harry." "Oh, educated, huh?" "Lookit, harry. "reading maketh a full man," it says." "Full of what?" "Full of sap from the tree of knowledge!" "What grows on trees?" "Dried prunes." "And what do you get from sap and prunes?" "Well, harry, i only said" ""as stars to the sailor are books to the scholar."" "Ain't that sweet." "They know about sailors." "Yeah, but harry, i just thought- educated people... they don't brag on billboards, they chisel their ads in granite!" ""Knowledge is power." "books are the legacy of time."" "Uh-oh." "There's the topper- "wisdom is peace." huh!" "So they're wise." "So they got peace." "Yeah, but harry- come on, mudge." "We'll go in and get a great big hunk of wisdom, and a nice fat bellyful of peace." "I'll wait here while you ask 'em." "If they had ice, would be wonderful for stiffs." "Follow me, pal." "Yeah." "What do you do for 'em?" "Yes?" "Can't find it." "Pardon?" "The tree." "Huh?" "The tree of knowledge." "Come in, it says, and get under the tree." "Where do you keep it?" "The next bar is about a block and a half down the street." "You can't miss it." "I know where all the barrooms are." "I thought i'd stop a moment in yours." "What do you say, you gonna set 'em up?" "We'll heist one under the tree, and get drunk with a little knowledge." "Look, mister, are you going to keep this up?" "Because if so, i'll have to call a guard." "Oh, no." "No, no, miss." "I take it all back." "I didn't say a word." "I'm not looking for trouble." "I'm bringing it in." "I got a sick sailor with me." "What?" "Yeah." "Yeah, that guy over there." "He's sick, and he's looking for help." "Please excuse harry, miss." "He's doing this for me." "Yeah, that's right, mudge." "Tell the lady what's eating you." "I wouldn't be surprised if she could help you." "She looks pretty smart to me." "Did harry tell you what we was looking for?" "He said you were sick." "Well, not really sick, miss." "You see, l-l- what's the matter?" "I lost my soul." "Popped out of his chest and lammed up powell street in the fog." "It did." "We was wondering whether you could refer us to a book dealing with a similar experience." "You're a sailor?" "Yes, miss." "Merchant marine?" "Yes, miss." "Is he?" "Yes, he's the bosun, and if you was ever torpedoed, miss, you wouldn't swap harry for no bosun going." "Were you torpedoed?" "The last trip." "And you saved him?" "He's nuts." "You see, a tree grew on the ship, and we all sat around and read." "Oh, harry." "Didn't say a word." "Suppose you tell me what you're looking for, please." "I'm really rather busy." "Yes." "It was like this, miss." "We were out there on a raft, and on the sixth day, i made the lord 4 promises, what i'd do if he saved us." "But i broke my promises, and i lost my soul." "Uh, what do you say, you got a book around here that a soul might walk back on?" "We've got some books for you." "You hear that, harry?" "Sure." "Tells you all about that soul racket, huh?" "Right." "Come with me, please." "Come on, harry." "We'll start here." "There are some excellent studies:" "One by a surgeon in the british navy, and this one by an american colonel:" "Facts on combat fatigue." "Combat fatigue?" "Sounds good." "Yes, the strain of war, you know, sometimes causes psychoneurosis." "Psychoneurosis?" "That sounds pretty good, too." "You see, mr." "Mudge, you've had a subjective experience." "You made promises you didn't keep, and that made you feel guilty, so that you imagined you lost your soul." "Oh, no, miss." "I didn't imagine that." "I really lost it, in the fog." "On powell street." "Shhhhhh!" "We're disturbing the readers." "You mean they're disturbing us!" "Hey, pipe down, you clucks!" "You know, i'm not out with you." "When you go, i stay." "So whisper, will you please?" "Harry, this nice lady is trying to help me." "Ok, ok." "I never whispered before in my life." "How do i sound?" "Look, mr." "Mudge, take this and read it." "This... this page here." "It may help explain your problem." "I have to get back to work." "You see this shelf here?" "Yeah." "They're funny pictures." "Funny girl." "Say, harry, i ain't never heard- what do you got?" "The soul- a symposium of modern thought." "Go to it." "You read it to me, harry." "I ain't never had no knack at reading." "Ok." ""The soul, or psyche," ""also referred to as the spirit," ""the self-substance, the elan vital," ""the eternal and indestructible essence." "See footnote 1-a."" "Here's 1-a, harry." ""It must be remembered" ""that a large body of contemporaneous thought" ""denies the existence of a soul" ""and scoffs at man's importance or significance as an individual."" "Shhhhh!" "Shut up!" "A guy can't hear himself think in here!" "Shh!" "Do you want to be thrown out?" "I'm sorry, miss, but this book says a man ain't got no soul." "Well, one man's opinion... and mr." "Mudge, i am hardly the last word on whatever is troubling you, but i do know that a lot of strange things happen." "Phenomena like extrasensory perceptions, thought transference, such as religious mystics report." "Mystics?" "What religious denomination are you?" "Me?" "Nothing." "None at all." "I ain't even been baptized." "Oh." "Perhaps it would help if i sent you to father cassidy or the reverend mr." "Thompson or maybe a psychiatrist." "Psychiatrist!" "And what's wrong with psychiatry?" "Mudge ain't a diagram or chart!" "Cut into him, and he'll bleed!" "How tender." "How profound." "Please, miss, i didn't come in here to start a fight." "Nor will i forget what i'm owing you for your good intentions, miss." "You didn't laugh at me, like most would've done." "Maybe that's the only help a man in my condition can expect." "Just not to be laughed at." "Now l-i'll be getting along out of here, and i'm hoping, for your sake, that harry will do the same." "Thank you kindly, and if i wasn't in the doghouse with the lord almighty, i'd be asking him to give you his blessing." "Great work." "So long." "Well, the fun's over in my tavern." "I hope you enjoyed it." "Had a wonderful time." "Some tree." "Don't run into it on your way out." "So long." "Yeah, yeah, i'll be careful, and you know, the tree of knowledge that's rooted in the ages- treat that careful." "Them ages get you so much- psychoneurosis, guilt neurosis, cirrhosis of the liver- you couldn't live without 'em!" "It would be tough." "I'll bet it would... and don't worry, there they are, and as pretty parrots come and go, you're a good one." "I know what those guys were after better than you do, pal." "There's nothing out there, and there's nothing in here." "The only difference between you and me is i know it and you don't." "You're kiddin' yourself, and gettin' away with it." "Ain't that wonderful?" "Are you having a good time?" "Rotten." "This is no fun." "No, it isn't." "Kidding you gets me nothin', sister." "What do you want?" "Yeah." "What do i want?" "That's it." "What's it?" "Just "it."" "Can i go now?" "Sure, you can go." "Thanks." "The tree is all yours." "Let me know when you run into yours." "Run into what?" "Your tree- the "it" tree." "That's right." "That's what i'm looking for." "It's it, ain't it?" "It's it, ain't it?" "Some word, "it."" "In the dictionary, it breaks all records for usage:" "A personal pronoun of the third person or neuter gender, used as a substitute for a noun;" "or representing something possessing sex when sex is not particularized or considered;" "or to refer to some matter not definitely conceived;" "or as the grammatical subject of a clause, such as "it is believed he is dead."" ""He is dead," is as generally believed- you can't smoke in here!" "I'll bet you can't." "I don't think you could die in here!" "I think they carry you in after you're dead." "Take a look at these dodo birds!" "What are they all tiptoeing about?" "The dead can't wake the dead." "Well, so long." "Much obliged for tryin'." "So long." "Hello." "I was, uh, talking to her." "Oh." "You ready?" "I'll hurry." "Ho, ho, boy!" "How you don't fit in here!" "Friend of yours?" "No." "Why don't i fit in here?" "In this graveyard?" "Why, you're a lark!" "There's a song in your eyes, and they're lit with livin'." "Mister!" "Everybody died on the vine and whambo!" "In comes the grapes." "Shh!" " Shh, shh!" "Ha ha ha!" "Helen!" "Oh, sorry." "How are you, helen?" "Who are you?" "Harry." " Hiya, harry." "Sit down." "Hey, hey." "What do you do?" "I'm a secretary." "What do you do?" "I'm a sailor." "Oh, just off a whaler?" "Merchant marine." "Glad to meet you, helen." "Hi." " When do we eat?" "I'm eating with emily." "She emily?" "Uh-huh." "Hello, emily." "Emily, merchant marine." "Well, that's fine." "I've seen you meet some officers in the navy, but i've never seen this exuberance before." "You had the same chance, emily." "They don't know it's us." "Look around." "Here." "I'm going to get my hat and get out of here before i'm fired." "Took you long enough to get your hat, emily." "Oh, boy, he's in again." "He's out again, you mean." "Good night." "Just a minute." "Would you do me the honor to dine with me - uh, both of you?" "No, thank you." "I wish you'd stop pushing me." "Well, look, girls, look- l- i'm a sailor, and i'm marooned, and in your town." "Now, if you was in my town, i wouldn't turn you down." "Oh, let him eat with us, em." "Helen, no." "All right, and i hope you're satisfied." "I got nowhere to go, and after talking to you two nice girls, do you think there are any other nice girls in this town?" "He's talkin' awful nice now." "Yeah, ain't i talkin' nice now?" "Awful nice." "See what helen says?" "I'm talkin' awful nice now." "Do you want him to go with us, really?" "I think it'd be fun." "I don't think so." "Well, it's whatever you say." "Before you speak, you'd better not do any talking." "Let helen do it for you." "All right." "I'll just stand here and hope." "Now, see how sweet he can be?" "Well, this is getting dull enough." "If the only way to end it- i'm just whistling for a cab, pals." "You don't have to do this on my account." "I think i do." "Well, he'll know you just came along to chaperone us." "I think he knows that already." "Why'd he invite you?" "Your friend has a rather complicated mind for a sailor." "How we doin'?" "Emily, you know what he's been tellin' me?" "He's been talkin' scientific." "I'll bet." "He says if a drunken man staggers, he always staggers- where'd you say he staggles - er, staggers?" "True north, emily." "True north." "True north!" "Isn't that interesting?" "Terrific." "That's right, emily." "Once upon a time, some guys got lost in the jungle, so they all chipped in their hooch, got one of the guys drunk, and made a compass out of him." "Isn't it cute?" "I can't stand it." "That's one fact i didn't get out of a book." "Oh, emily, where'd you rather be than right here?" "Don't push me, darling." "Now, it's been very nice, but as we have to get up tomorrow, shall we, uh, start sailing for home?" "Oh, i don't want to go home." "Don't you always get up in the morning, emily?" "We don't usually get up sundays." "Tomorrow's sunday, you know." "I didn't know." "Don't you know sunday when it comes?" "On land, every day's a sunday for a sailor." "Oh." "Emily's got a little farm she's trying to sell." "Some people are coming to see it tomorrow." "You going to help her?" "Yes." "You want me to help you, so you can help her?" "Oh, doesn't he put things just darling?" "Emily, what's the matter with me?" "I'm crazy about this guy." "What's the matter with me?" "I don't know." "I never felt like this before." "Meet a man, fall flat on my face." "You ashamed of me, emily?" "No, no." "A little ashamed?" "A little." "She's ashamed of me, harry, but emily don't like men." "Do men like her?" "Do they, emily?" "No." "They'd like her if she'd let 'em, wouldn't they, harry?" "I don't know." "Ain't she beautiful?" "Oh, come on, helen- no, wait a minute." "This is something that's got to be decided." "Yeah, she's good-looking enough." "The trouble with emily is she don't want much." "I don't know what you mean." "Do you?" "Yeah, you're a mild girl." "Oh." "Got a fella?" "No." "Want one?" "Not especially." "Well, that's got something to do with what i mean." "Along with that, you're kind of independent." "You bet i am!" "Oh, don't fight with her." "Fight with me." "I mean, look at me." "I'm just crazy about this guy." "Oh, you're lucky." "You got a smart fella." "He'll teach you how to roll a barrel of oil." "Will you, harry?" "How do you roll a barrel of oil?" "I'll tell you." "Uh, did you girls ever take a bath?" "Huh?" "I mean, did you ever notice how the water runs out of the bathtub, how the water goes down the drain?" "No, i never did." "I get right out of the bathtub." "I don't like feeling wet." "Heh heh." "I thought maybe you might have sat there thinking once." "Oh, no, i can't dry myself fast enough, but emily sits there, till the water's all gone." "Hmm?" "Is that so?" "Helen!" "Great stuff, that brandy!" "What'd i say?" "Let the professor say it." "He was going to tell us some... discovery." "Oh, who cares?" "How's the brandy whirl?" "Hey, waiter!" "Waiter!" "Nothing doing, helen." "I'm not kidding." "Oh, leave her alone." "Come on." "Another little drink won't kill you, either." "I'm taking her home, see?" "Want to bet on that?" "I'll bet on that- fight, fight, fight all night long." "What a party!" "Hey, there's harry now!" "Hiya, harry!" "Hey!" "How are you?" "Hey!" "Hiya, gus!" "Come on over, boys!" "I want you to meet some friends of mine- nice and mild, right down your alley." "Hiya, gus!" "Hiya, harry!" "Hiya, boys!" "How ya doin'?" "I got a spare tomato for you, boys." "This is emily." "Shake hands with emily." "Hiya, gus!" "Hello, handsome!" "Hello!" "How are ya, good-lookin'?" "They're little kidders." "Honey, i'm all warmed up and ready to take off." "Any of you guys want to buzz the field?" "Sure!" "Now, big boys go first." "Open up the throttle, big boy." "I fly on high octane." "Any of you want to share the ride, just cut in." "Oh, boy!" "Heh heh heh... emily!" "I want a dance with emmy." "Come on, gus!" "Let's have a dance- oh, ho ho!" "Hiya, mudge!" "Hiya, toots!" "Yes, ma'am!" "Come on!" "Hey, what is this?" "Ladies first!" "Stop her, harry, stop her!" "She's a gone nut!" "Gentlemen!" "Gentlemen!" "Come on, gus." "I get a dance." "Get her, harry!" "Get her!" "Oh!" "Hey!" "Emily!" "Emily!" "Have you got a match?" "Oh, a beautiful thing it was, miss!" "What?" "Oh, hello, mudge." "I've been in a fight." "Like the very battle of the boil, it was." "He called me mild!" "A mild tomato!" "Ah!" "Like queen deirdre herself, you were." "Was i, mudge?" "Aye!" "Queen deirdre fighting the black prince single-handed." "Cracked his skull with a spiked shillelagh, she did, and gave him the heave-ho, from the top story of dublin castle!" "Heh heh!" "What hand done the deed, miss emily?" "Well... I- i guess it was my right hand." "I... oh." "It's a great privilege." "Emily!" "What's the matter?" "What's got into you?" "Come on!" "Yeah." "What's the idea, starting a riot, and in a public place?" "Lot of women present." "Somebody might have got hurt." "What got into you?" "You've gone nuts!" "If that's life, i'll take the library." "Here's the cab." "Come on, emily." "Get in." "Come on!" "Get in there!" "I'd like to find the guy that slugged me." "I'm going back in there." "No, harry!" "Get in the cab!" "Come on!" "It's just a small little place, but it- just big enough for two, and both, women." "Oh, emily, i want him to come up." "Thank you for a charming evening, mr." "Sailor." "If we don't see you again before you sail, fair winds and blue skies and all that." "Oh, why can't he, emily?" "Helen says good night." "Give up, buddy." "You're brushed." "You know what i oughta do?" "I oughta go up there and take that dame apart." "She's the freshest dame i've ever met." "Ah, she's the kind of dame, you go up there, she'll crack you over the head with a bottle." "Hmm?" "I ain't kiddin'." "You couldn't get me up there with a derrick." "She works in the library, too." "There you are." "You can't trust nobody." "Mmm." "Oh!" "Oh!" "That bad?" "You all right?" "I didn't drink so much." "No, all you did was fight." "Oh!" "That sailor!" "Heels have a morbid fascination for you." "Morbid fascination are your words." "I just think they're cute." "Mr. Harry patterson was excessively cute." "Is that bad?" "Yes." "I guess i'm a poor judge of character." "He just struck me as being kind of a heel in a cute way." "I feel rather sorry for him." "Sorry?" "Yes." "Just as i'd feel sorry for any animal that's... being tormented in a- in a trap or a maze, and if you try to help him, he'll turn on you and tear your heart out." "Why should he do that?" "'Cause he's afraid you'll tear his heart out." "Well, let's forget about it." "Oh, emily!" "Brrr!" "Ha ha!" "We're going to the farm, remember?" "Oh!" "Ooh... hi, helen!" "Tell emily the skies are blue and the winds are fair!" "Emily, he's coming right up!" "Watch him go right down." "But, emily, we've got to act polite to him." "I'll act polite." "Now, look here, mr." "Sailor- you know, i says to myself, i says, "harry, old boy," ""it wouldn't surprise me if my girl's a little weary this morning," ""so why don't i hire a bus to ride them out to the farm?" "After all, they're your pals." "They'd do as much for you."" "Oh, look at her - tough night, wakes up beautiful." "Mr. Sailor?" "Mm-hmm?" "Let's get something straight." "Yeah, let's do that." "Nice little place you got here." "Today's sunday, and all days aren't sunday to me." "Also, that little exhibition last night was my first and last performance." "Good-bye." "She's always saying good-bye to me!" "Now, look here!" "If you two don't stop fighting, i'm leaving..." "to get ready!" "Helen's a funny girl, ain't she?" "Yes, helen's a very funny girl, but i ain't." "Hey, hey, wait!" "That curl on the back of your neck- it curls the wrong way!" "Oh, it does?" "Yeah, here- let me look." "Well, i'll be- it curls counterclockwise!" "Is that bad?" "That shouldn't be." "Smoke, vines, and water twist clockwise in the northern hemisphere, see?" "A woman's hair, too." "Really?" "But south of the equator, a girl's hair curls counterclockwise, from right to left, see?" "Well, perhaps i'm in the wrong hemisphere." "Hmm!" "That curl sure crosses me up!" "Oh, your original research was wrong." "No, no, no- where's your bathroom?" "Come in here." "I'll show you." "Is that curl natural in your hair?" "Get out of here, please!" "Y- you just didn't train it that way to be contrary?" "Ooh!" "Who's going to take a bath?" "No, no!" "No bath, honey-scientific experiment." "Come here." "Bend over." "Let me look at the back of your neck." "What is this, a booby trap or something?" "No, no, no- there, you see?" "Her hair curls clockwise." "Now, watch the water whirl." "See?" "Left to right, see?" "Everything north of the equator is left to right but you." "I'm so sorry." "That sure crosses me up." "I had it doped out that the gimmick is like two clocks, running opposite to one another." "The gimmick?" "Yeah, yeah." "The world, honey-two clocks." "Oh, that's cute!" "But she's got a southern hemisphere curl." "You dead sure you didn't train it that way?" "Quite sure, mr." "Aristotle." "Well, what do you know?" "I've been in a lot of bathtubs, but i never watched how the water ran." "Did you, emily?" "No." "Get in the tub, emily." "Oh, that was a very shocking remark." "I don't blame emily." "You weren't shocked." "Mmm, not in here." "Hmm?" "After all, you'll get me in bad with emily." "Oh." "I'm just crazy for the ocean." "It's so kind of simple." "Simple and dumb." "But in a cute way, harry." "I mean, one little wave piles on top of the other little wave, and the fish just swim around." "What makes it so black out?" "Too many women have been crying into it." "Oh... yeah, women cry in the dark." "That's what makes the ocean black." "Hasn't he got the weirdest ideas?" "Patterson and einstein." "I don't care for the ocean when it looks so black." "Well, that's easily fixed." "How?" "Well, just bail all the tears back into all the women who have ever cried." "Now, you know, that's a brilliant thought." "The truth is, it's the men who do all the crying." "More tripe out of books!" "You two start fightin' again, i'll jump out." "She started it." "Oh, i won't say another word." "Thanks." "* clang clang clang went the trolley * * ding ding ding went the bell * there it is, harry." "Hmm." "Emily, wake up." "We're here." "Not bad." "How'd you get ahold of it, emily?" "My folks left it to me-the old homestead, you know?" "Turn here, harry, turn here." "It's just a headache, harry." "I've been after em a long time to sell the thing." "Who's buying it?" "I put an ad in the paper saying i'd be out today and i had one telephone call from a mr." "Buckley." "Well, look - that must be the buckleys now." "Ready money!" "A nice, quick sale!" "Mr. Buckley?" "Yes." "Miss sears?" "I'm sorry i'm late." "Not at all." "We looked around, but it isn't quite what we want." "Oh, the place looks shabby, but people with taste could make things very charming." "Yes, yes, it does have possibilities." "Miss sears, mrs." "Buckley." "Miss sears." "I'm so glad you could come, mrs." "Buckley." "I wanted you to see the house." "Thank you." "Excuse me." "What price you askin', emily?" "Oh, why, 8,500." "It's 10 acres and all fit for cultivation." "What?" "Why, it's a steal at that price." "Mr. And mrs." "Buckley, miss melohn, mr." "Patterson." "How do you do?" "You people ever done any dirt farming?" "Oh, no." "We just want a place for the weekend." "Yes." "Build a pool, keep a few horses, and... well, then you got no problems at all." "Slap on a little paint, hire a couple guys, clean off the rattlesnakes, fill up the gopher holes- rattlesnakes!" "Why, rattlesnakes in california?" "How silly!" "Helen, have you ever seen a snake on this farm?" "Well, maybe it was texas i was thinking of." "Yeah, yeah, texas." "Well, we'll think it over and look around a bit." "Thank you, miss sears." "I'll call you." "Yes." "We'll let you know." "Thank you." "Do you know what i think?" "There's only one snake on this farm." "Aw, they wasn't gonna buy." "Why, it'd be a crime to sell a farm like this for a dude ranch." "Yes, sir!" "Good, rich dirt!" "Smell it!" "Well, you could grow food here, not a crop of fat dames, torturing' horses, wasting' water in a fancy pool!" "Yes, sir!" "Good, rich dirt that ain't doin' its job!" "If you're so fond of dirt, you can buy this farm at a big bargain." "Say, that's an idea, harry." "Oh, no, not me." "I'm shipping' out." "This is a proposition for some guy who wants to get married, settle down, and have a lot of kids." "Well, that couldn't be you." "When are you shipping' out, harry?" "I don't go to sea until my money's spent." "Pretty good barn." "Any hay in it?" "No." "Isn't it sweet?" "Mmm." "Huh, harry?" "My goodness, em... stuffy!" "After that library, how would she know?" "Nice, homey folks." "Not yours, emily?" "Yes, mine." "Aunts, uncles, and grandma." "And it all boiled down to you, huh?" "Mmm mmm!" "Hey, got a kitchen." "Yes, sir... mmm!" "Got an icebox, too." "Yep, plenty of nothing in it." "T'ain't bad, emily." "Not bad." "What do you got upstairs?" "The bedrooms." "Well, let's take a look at them." "Hey!" "Wait for me!" "Hello!" "Where'd you come from?" "Mmm!" "Hmm hmm." "Hey, downstairs!" "Where'd you get this?" "What?" "This big pile of feathers!" "That's the bed i was born in." "Some bed." "Oh, i love it here, emily." "I love it!" "Don't you, harry?" "Yeah, yeah." "It's ok." "It's swell." "Emily, you know what we could do?" "Yes, i know... but i have to work in the morning." "I have a job in the library." "Well, i work, too, don't i?" "We could leave early in the morning and make it easy." "Mm-hmm." "I have an idea i've already been outvoted." "Most suspicious girl i ever ran into." "If we're staying, i can cook." "You can cook, yeah, but what?" "All right, all right." "I'll go to tony's." "He'll be open." "You get some wood for the stove." "I'll drive you in my bus." "I'll get the wood." "I'd rather walk." "Got any dough?" "Don't put yourself out." "Don't worry." "Hey!" "Now, don't you two get to fighting again!" "You been to naples?" "Yeah, i been there, tony." "Beautiful - girls beautiful." "Everything beautiful." "Ah, beautiful, yes, and no fog!" "Gotta the blue seas there." "A'blue, a'blue a'blue blue!" "No meat?" "No meat." "No meat." "Well, that's all then, tony." "Well, uh... that's a... beautiful $1.45, miss emily." "$1.45?" "Hold it, emily." "Hold it." "Uh, tony, you ever, uh, roll 'em, tony?" "Uh, roll you double or nothin', huh?" "Ok, ok!" "No, no, tony." "My pal." "Oh, miss emily my friend, miss emily." "I justa say, "naples!" never loses." "How many roll?" "One roll." " Ok!" "Ok?" "Ok." "Ho ho!" "Lovely." "Naples!" "No naples!" "Naples done you wrong, pal." "Heh heh." "Ok, ok, mister." "Beautiful a'dice!" "Beautiful!" "Ok, emily." "Come along." "Good-bye, tone." "Good-bye, good-bye." "Good-bye, tony." "Good-bye, good-bye." "See you." "Take it easy." "It's a'beautiful, beautiful... thievery, plain thievery." "Science." "Such a nice little man, too." "Shh!" "What's wrong?" "It's a chicken." "Oh, what of it?" "Goes great with macaroni." "You think farmer ludlow's going to roll dice for a chicken- i'm not rolling dice with farmer ludlow." "Don't worry." "Well, he's not going to sell his chickens." "He's crazy about his chickens." "Let's take a peek at 'em." "If you think you're going to steal a chicken from him- i just said take a peek at 'em." "Chickens are sure doing nice on that corn, effy." "Well, you can give 'em all my share." "I don't know why corn ever grows!" "Mrs. Ludlow doesn't like corn." "And i don't like mrs." "Ludlow." "Mean?" "Mean." "Mmm mmm!" "Mr. Ludlow?" "Mmm mmm!" "Mean." "Mmm." "Oh!" "Can you imitate a rooster?" "Now, look here!" "If you think- can you imitate a rooster?" "I think so." "L- i never tried, but if farmer ludlow- never mind farmer ludlow." "Make like a rooster." "What for?" "Want to catch us a hen." "Well, i bet it won't work, but... here goes." "Cock-a-doodle-do!" "Cock-a-doodle-do!" "I thought you said we'd catch us a hen." "We will, but hens are realists." "No hen would come running for a rooster she can't see." "What'd you do that for?" "That line hypnotizes him." "That's why some people stay in ruts." "There's a line like that on the library floor." "Stick with your chickens." "Ok." "Now, here's a rooster in a rut." "He wanted war and glory, so he came out here to fight another rooster." "A rooster's got imagination, see?" "That's why that corny imitation of yours fooled him." "Now make like a hen, emily." "Oh, no, now we really have a rooster." "I should imitate a rooster." "Nope." "Make like a hen." "Oh, all right, sailor." "I'll prove you wrong." "You see?" "It doesn't make sense." "If she was going to chase after this rooster, why shouldn't i have made rooster noises?" "No hen wants a rooster unless she's afraid some other hen's going to get him!" "What'd you do that for?" "What?" "Oh, pullets are better eating'." "Besides, i could never kill a rooster." "Life means too much to him." "Make like a hen some more." "Oh!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "What's wrong with the chickens?" "!" "Ain't nothin' the matter with them chickens." "Something's wrong with those chickens, i tell you!" "Get my gun!" "Them dogs again!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Harry!" "Harry!" "Ok, emily?" "Ok." "Shh... if he comes closer, i'll trip him!" "No, no, no!" "You take one leg, and i'll take the other!" "You're crazy." "He's gone." "Come on." "Let's get out of here." "What's all the shootin' for?" "Oh, helen!" "We got chickens!" "What happened?" "Oh, look at you!" "Old man what's-his-name took a shot at us!" "He did?" "We had lots more, but they got away!" "Was it fun?" "Oh, was it!" "Ha ha!" "Of course, we'll go back and pay him for them, won't we?" "Helen, my old pal, helen!" "Harry, harry!" "Oh, i missed you!" "Did you miss me, pal?" "Oh, brother, i missed you!" "Helen, do you know what you can do with a rooster?" "You can draw a line and hypnotize him!" "We got macaroni!" "Goes good with chicken!" "You did?" " Mm-hmm." "* old macdonald had a farm * * ee-yl-ee-yl-oh * * and on that farm-* he said, "make like a hen,"" "and so i said... * with a chick-chick here and a chick-chick there * * here a chick, there a chick * * everywhere a chick-chick * * old macdonald had a farm * * ee-yl-ee-yl-oh * * oh!" "And on that farm he had some ducks * * ee-yl-ee-yl-oh * * with a quack quack here * and a quack quack there * * here a quack, there a quack * * everywhere a quack quack * * old macdonald had a farm *" "* ee-yl-ee-yl-oh *" "was you ever married, helen?" "Almost, once." "What broke it up?" "Oh, we got tired of each other." "I don't know." "Sure, like everything else." "It all ends nowhere." "Don't you believe in marriage at all?" "No." "Dull." "Gee, you say that like you mean it." "I'll say i mean it, and i ain't just pickin' on marriage." "I mean anything that starts out exciting, see?" "Just leaks itself to death." "All the zip, all the... everything." "You tell me one thing that stays exciting." "Just one." "I hate to think." "Yeah." "Well, let's don't." "Let's just- in the first place, you can't think on land, helen." "You got to be out there." "What's out there?" "The sea... it's the only road there is that leads to it." "What's it?" "It?" "It's just it." "I know what "it" is." "What?" "This." "I think the time has come for me to retire." "It's early, emily." "Is it?" "I wouldn't know it." "Everything leaks to death, he says." "It looked for awhile as if today never would." "The dullest day i ever spent in my life." "Why, emily, that doesn't speak very well for present company." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean it that way." "It's just that I- i'm sorry for emily - nice girl, don't know what she wants." "Of course, you do." "The sea's the only road to it." "My old friend, "it."" "I love the way helen puts it." "What is "it"?" "Why, emily, you sound cross, dear." "What about?" "Well, i don't know." "I... everything's been so pleasant." "Ok, i'll call it a day!" "I'll go up and dream of the sea, the road to "it."" "Oh, to hear a big, grown man talk of "it!"" "It's so silly!" "Nobody's asking you any opinion, you know." "Did i say anyone was asking for- emily!" "And i'm not asking for yours!" "Don't you sit there and say i don't know what i want!" "Hot air!" "You could start a furnace!" "You're nothing but a first-class soapbox!" "Emily!" "She never talked like this!" "What's the matter, pal?" "I thought we made up." "I did, too!" "I thought th-that- in the first place, we had nothing to make up." "I seem irritated?" "I suppose i thought you were worth talking to, and what i heard- i've heard nothing!" "Life is dull!" "What news!" "And the brilliant summary?" "The answer dwells across the sea!" "You're a dope!" "Stick to your tomatoes!" "You've got your answer!" "A good crack on the jaw would do you good." "If that would do it, i'd love it!" "I'd love to look up to a man, but i don't think you hit hard enough!" "I'd rather he hit me than listen to him!" "Words come out of his mouth, you think you're going to hear something." "You get hit with feathers!" "It, it, it, it!" "Get down!" "Nobody talks to me and gets away with it!" ""It"?" "I'll tell you what "it" is!" ""It's" the excitement, see?" "Excitement that don't die!" "I've seen life important!" "Oh, have i!" "Just let 'em think they're gonna lose it!" "I've seen women and children trampled on to get into lifeboats and then they're all safe and all bored again!" "All bored!" "For life to be exciting, you'd have to have a shipwreck every day!" "So that's what i'm looking for, wise guy- life exciting." "You can throw the shipwrecks away!" "That's all." "Just an easy pick-up!" "And if i say the sea is the only road that leads to it, it's because the sea sounds like it." "She does the talking, you do the listening." "She sings out there." "She's full of bands." "And if i picked on you to talk to, it was because of the ocean in your eyes that did it." "I never saw it in no eyes before... and i'll call it a day, too." "And i'm sick to death of you!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Why do sailors drive so fast?" "Hey, hey, that's how sailors get wrecked!" "I'm high, and i haven't had a drop to drink." "Are you high?" "Yeah, blowin' about a force 9 gale!" "Oh, you're not a gale, you're a tornado." "You're not exactly a low-pressure area yourself." "Oh, ha ha!" "Oh, you do say the sweetest, most poetic things." "Uh-oh." "That ain't poetry." "Yes, it is, too." "No, we're running out of gas." "Oh, we've been running on gas power?" "Yeah, and we're slowed down to 60." "Well, now that we've slowed down, couldn't you drive with one hand?" "Sure." "Thanks, sailor." "Hey, thar she blows!" "Good old reno!" "Boy, this is one town i'm really going to show you!" "Oh, it's a waste of money." "Now, how do you figure that?" "Because i won't look at anything, really, except you." "You're acting stubborn." "When i feel poetic, i feel poetic." "Do you ever hear of elizabeth barrett browning?" "Sure, sonnets from the portuguese." "Why, harry!" "Heard it on a quiz program." "Ah, ha ha!" "No, listen..." ""unless you can muse" ""in a crowd all day" ""on the absent face that fixed you," ""unless you can love as the angels made" ""with the breath of heaven betwixt you," ""unless you can dream that his love will last" ""through behoving and unbehoving," ""unless you can die when the dream is past, oh, never call it loving."" "Do you like it?" "Boy, you are high!" "Mm-hmm!" "That's just how i feel." "You take charge of the poetry, em." "I'll take charge of reno." "Ah... oh, harry, look!" "Oh, what luck!" "Yeah, only 3 miles." "Oh, no!" "I mean the other sign-that!" "Oh... ha ha!" "All right, emily." "Oh!" "Only that?" "Just "all right"?" "No, but let's see if we can make reno." "Oh, ha ha!" "* i'm free again * * oh, me, oh, my * * oh, i'm free again * ha ha ha!" "Hey!" "No, you!" "Are you looking for a new girl?" "What's your name?" "Uh, grace." "Well, here she is- this is grace." "Ok, gracie, show him no mercy." "Remember, george, everything that you did before, and don't do it again!" "Oh, yes!" "Ha ha ha!" "Mm-hmm!" "Ha ha!" "Your chuckle, my love, is a deep laugh." "I'm chuckling', all right." "First time we've been in a room." "That's right... out there-there were walls out there, high as heaven." "Wonder where they stuck my bag?" "Oh." "Where did we buy the bag?" "Must have been in a store." "Oh, i got a new hat out of it." "Ice water, sir?" "Yeah, come in." "Thank you." "Thank you, sir!" "I'll buy my girl a present!" "Oh, uh, you and the missus like anything else, sir?" "Who?" "Mrs. Patterson." "Oh!" "Would you like anything else, uh, mrs." "Patterson?" "Uh, no, thank you, mr." "Patterson." "No, thank you." "Well, well, mrs." "Patterson." "What's the matter?" "Darling... yes, darling?" "Was that my wedding present- marrying me?" "I don't get you." "Why did you marry me?" "Isn't that what you wanted right away?" "Why, yes, but it wasn't a command, nor was it a favor to me, anymore than to you." "Ok, but- hey, look, is that right?" "Are you supposed to give women presents that marry you?" "Oh, ho ho, dear!" "Oh... all right." "What's the matter, baby?" "Oh, look at this sailor." "Whew!" "And am i sailing!" "Wha- what in the world- oh, what is this, darling?" "Oh, just a girl." "Oh, just a girl, eh?" "That's all." "Her name's jeanne, is that right?" "Pronounced "john." French." "Oh, "john." Mm-hmm." "Got any others around you anywhere?" "No, no." "She was the one and only, eh?" "No." "I didn't marry her, did i?" "Perhaps she didn't ask you." "Hey, hey... what is all this, huh?" "Just a minute, darling, just a minute." "There." "Harry, what's my name?" "Emily." "Don't sound much alike, do they?" "Nope." "Don't forget it." "Oh, george!" "Mmm... hmm?" "Oh, i'm sorry, dear, sorry." "Why, you- ha ha ha ha!" "That's not a square deal!" "I got 2 bags!" "But i have to open the door with my key!" "Em, it's your door." "You opened it a million times!" "Oh, but 8 seconds." "Make it 10!" "Ok, go ahead." "You understand, now, if i get into the apartment before you catch me, you have to stand outside forever." "Yeah, right in the hall." "Ready?" "1... 2... 3, 4, 5, 6... oh!" "Ha ha ha!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Harry?" "Yeah?" "What's the matter?" "The last time going down the stairs was sunday, on the way to the farm." "Yeah." "Well?" "Well, you were just about the last gentleman i wanted to see that morning." "Yeah, i recall your greeting." "And the next time coming up these same stairs, i'm your wife." "You'd have bet a lot of dough against that, wouldn't you have?" "I'd have bet my life." "I'd have bet the end of the world first." "Harry... yeah?" "I wish we were in reno." "Want to go back?" "Oh, no." "Ha ha ha!" "Are you coming in here with me like a husband?" "Well, i wasn't doing this sunday, neither." "Hey, am i married, too?" "I don't know." "I guess so." "Ha ha- emily!" "Oh, emily!" "You ought to be shot!" "You heel, you!" "Helen!" "You ought to be strung up- helen!" "We're married!" "Huh?" "Well, we think we are." "Oh, don't be dumb, emmy!" "You think you are?" "Him, married?" "He wouldn't marry his own mother!" "Well, you girls figure it out." "I'm buying a little drink." "Let me know how you come out." "Look, look." "You mean legal?" "Yes!" "It isn't forged?" "No, of course not." "Oh, darling!" "Oh, helen!" "Do you still like me?" "Emily!" "Married!" "Emily's married!" "Hey!" "Like me, too, will ya?" "Oh, harry, i thought she never would!" "She's such a lonesome girl, really." "She'd go out with me just to be nice, but she'd hate it." "She could have every man in frisco if she wanted, and i know she could." "You don't know!" "Oh, helen, please!" "She's the best girl goin'!" "Well, say somethin', harry!" "Say somethin'- ok, ok, i agree with you, pal." "Oh, harry!" "Oh!" "I love you for her lovin' you!" "I'm in love with both of you!" "I'm in-i'm in love with both of you!" "I don't know if i've ever loved anybody as much as i love the two of you!" "Oh, harry, look!" "You got lipstick all over you!" "I'm sorry!" "Hey, emily, you know somethin'?" "The last time i kissed harry was on that sofa at the farm." "Do you realize i haven't seen either one of you since?" "I mean, i kiss harry on the sofa, next time i see him and kiss him again, a little item, dear!" "He's married between kisses!" "Ok, girls, ok." "What do you say?" "This is fine, but it's a little dry." "I'll get cleaned up and go out and get a bucket of wine." "This calls for a celebration." "This calls for me to get out." "I get it." "I'm late for the office." "No, no." "You're crazy." "No office today." "We'll celebrate, the 3 of us!" "Really?" "Yes, yes!" "Good old reno!" "We brought it back with us, darling, didn't we?" "You know it!" "Hook her, emily, hook her!" "Ha ha!" "You crazy about him?" "Just crazy." "He crazy about you?" "Just crazy." "Oh... oh, emily!" "Now, tell me all about it." "You arrive at reno, "let no man put asunder," and then- then what'd you do?" "We played roulette." "You did?" "And then he bought me a hat." "That's better." "Isn't it silly?" "I love it." "And then we had a steak." "Steak's a steak anytime, isn't it?" "Hey, where's the towels?" "Behind the door." "Behind the what?" "Behind the door." "Huh!" "Funny place to keep 'em!" "Squawking already!" "Hey, i got to get myself under a roof!" "I'll get a room as close by as i can." "Well, wait a minute, helen!" "I mean, let me see, i... whoa, whoa!" "Funny, i never gave it a thought, i mean, about living." "We hadn't even mentioned it." "Let's take a short pause before the party." "What do you think?" "Think you'll live here, or get a little house someplace?" "I don't know." "Where are we going to live, harry?" "Never gave it a thought." "Well, now, look, you two." "You don't have to decide today." "Here's your apartment." "You can't beat it for two anyplace." "But speaking for myself, i'd think you'd like a little house with a garden." "Anyway, i get myself a room- oh, helen, i'd hate to turn you out." "Oh, don't be silly." "A roof's a roof, as far as i'm concerned." "Wait a minute, helen, hold it." "This isn't going to make any difference with you girls." "I'm shipping' out in a couple of days." "Then you two girls keep on living here, just as if nothing happened at all." "You're shipping out?" "What do you think i'm doin'?" "I'm a sailor, ain't i?" "Yes, of course, but... i guess i thought you'd go to work here or something." "Well, i guess i just thought you'd want to stay." "Well, i... i guess i don't know what i thought." "A shore job?" "Me?" "Ha!" "Emily!" "Oh, no, dear, of course not!" "It's funny." "All..." "all thinking stops." "Love's a drug, isn't it?" "Oh, but, harry, when you come back, you want a place of your own to come back to, don't you?" "Well, what's the matter with this place?" "Well... nothing, if i'm not here." "How do you bother me any?" "Well, you don't want me around when you come home, do you?" "Oh, you mean there's only one room." "Sure. 'course i can go sit in a gutter someplace, but that isn't what i'm talking about." "A man doesn't want another woman around if there are a thousand rooms." "Well, that's a bed, ain't it?" "That?" "Hurts you to sit on it!" "Well, it won't kill you to sleep on it a couple of nights, will it?" "You want to be with emily while i'm gone, don't you?" "What's the use of gettin' a room for a couple of nights?" "But, anyway, do as you want." "I ain't gonna tell you how to sleep." "But, harry, that isn't the idea." "A man wants a home of his own." "A man's got a garden, for instance." "He thinks about it while he's away, wonders how it's growing." "Does he?" "Certainly!" "Man's got to wonder how something's growing- a garden or a baby or- what baby?" "Huh?" "Oh... you mean a baby." "Well, you know, for a minute i thought you was talking about another friend of yours." "My mistake, my mistake." "A baby, huh?" "Do you want a baby, pal?" "Nope." "She's on a rampage, and you're all wound up, boy!" "Helen, why don't you get married?" "You sound like you'd like it." "The other night, you weren't giving it very much." "Anyway, i never know when i'll be back." "I'm liable to be shipped anywhere." "I'm liable to not see you for years." "Are of you surprised about anything?" "Room's kind of lost a lot of it's, uh... oh, no, harry, no." "Everything's going to be all right." "Yeah, yeah, let's get going again." "You know, wine goes great in the morning, and the 3 of us will go out." "We'll find some of the boys, and we'll have a party until the ship sails." "That'll take care of the beds." "I'll be right back, ladies." "Gee, it's..." "it's 8:30." "Hey, emily... yeah?" "It's, uh... it's none of my business, but... you know sailors are kind of crazy, and... i'd nip that bird right in the bud and tell him what's what." "All that talk i gave him about the prize he'd won- he knows it, does he?" "Yes, he does." "Him..." "if he was mine, i'd stick an anchor on him before 10:00 this morning." "I'm afraid he'd drag it a little." "No, helen, just to keep the record straight, i walked right into this." "I knew he was a crazy guy." "I had plenty of time to think it over, but i didn't." "I'm not blaming harry at all." "I'm buying his wine." "What are you gonna do?" "I'll see you later." "Ok." "Hi!" "Hi." "I got champagne, and i got the best bottle of brandy in frisco." "Which do you want?" "Hey!" "What do you want?" "I want a divorce." "Huh?" "Wait a minute." "Don't let's wait, harry." "We don't believe in waiting, do we, harry?" "Ok... you say you want a divorce, and i say, "why?"" "Hmm?" "And i say, "look, mister..."" "what is our name?" "Patterson?" "Why, i want a divorce, mr." "Patterson, because i want a divorce." "I don't want to be married to you." "I don't think you're a good husband." "Hmm." "All that talk with helen- that's the dope, ain't it?" "All that talk about little gardens or whatever we were talking about." "You're wrong." "I don't want little gardens, either." "I don't want to settle down - not a nickel's worth." "You agree with me that marriage is the bunk, huh?" "There ain't nothing between a man and a tomato- uh, a woman - but like a time at reno." "But to settle down?" "That ain't it, is it?" "My old friend "it."" "Let's put it this way, harry:" "I'm no more like helen..." "no more like her than... than... than the girl on your arm." "Hey, you ain't jealous of her, are you?" "No, dear." "Could be a little, pal... especially a girl a guy carries around with him." "I wouldn't like a guy painted on you staring at me, neither." "Wouldn't you, harry?" "No, i wouldn't." "Hey, how about this- suppose i stick you on the other arm?" "No, thank you, darling." "Wait a minute." "You wouldn't be ashamed of this girl none?" "I don't know what i'm protecting her about." "She don't need it." "I'm sure she doesn't." "And, harry, i'm not a bit interested." "This girl was good." "She lived on the shores of normandy before the war." "I looked good to her because she lived nowhere near anybody worth knowing." "I couldn't help looking good to her." "Then come a time when i'd better get out of there, see?" "But get this straight- i missed her more than she did me." "She was one lovely girl." "I'd bet on that." "What did she say when you said good-bye?" "I didn't say good-bye." "She was asleep." "Did she see this?" "Nope." "Sorry." "Well... i like your french lady." "And i repeat- i'm not in love with little houses and little gardens." "Little gardens don't mean one thing or another." "I don't mean that i'm afraid of the sea, either." "We could have all the 7 seas between us." "It could still be perfect." "What i'm trying to say is... we didn't bring reno back with us." "Reno's still in reno, and reno should grow in a garden." "Get me?" "Sure, i get you." "And, say..." "i wouldn't wonder if you and me are a lot alike, do you know it?" "And how about this- you get a divorce, and then when i land again, if you feel better about it, we'll get married again." "Right to left, left to right... ok, pal, ok." "What's the matter?" "We're divorced, dear." "Oh..." "but not officially." "We weren't married officially, either." "Ok, pal, ok." "Now how about finding the boys?" "No, thanks." "Party's over, huh?" "It was a nice one." "Mm-mmm." "Well, she does move, don't she?" "I told you on the stairs, it can happen fast." "Ok, darling, ok." "And if you change your mind, i'll be hanging around the same joint, probably, and i hope you change it, pal." "Thanks, harry." "If i do, i'll look you up, pal." "Ok, pal." "So long." "So long." "Do i get a kiss?" "Sure." "Ok." "So long." "So long." "You're a good girl." "Hi, gus!" " Hey, harry!" "What ship we working?" "It's a lucky thing you showed up!" "They got mudgin on the carpet in there." "What for?" "He won't sail without his soul." "Yeah, and they're gonna take his book away." "Yeah?" "And another thing..." "show me the law of the maritime union or the shipping commission that says you can take a man's book away for losing his soul." "What soul?" "My weeping', immortal soul that i have to have to go to heaven if i die." "We've argued long enough." "Now, ship on the pacific belle, or lose your book." "You ain't got a right to pass judgment on a thing like this." "Oh, i ain't, huh?" "No, you ain't, mister." "You ain't big enough." "The maritime union ain't big enough." "That's all, brother." "You're beached for good!" "Oh, no, you can't!" "Hold it, mudge." "Harry!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Paul revere patterson." "Hiya, pals." "Ok, but this little character-where have you been?" "On a mission of mercy in reno." "Look, patterson, we've listed your crew for this trip." "They've all checked in ok but this screwball." "He'll check in." "When's she sail?" "Be aboard friday morning." "What are we arguing about?" "If we sail, we sail." "I'll guarantee mudge." "Give him back his book." "Ok, there you are." "Much thanks, steve." "Come on, mudge." "I don't know, harry." "A man in my condition- take it easy." "I'll give you a certificate of loss for the thing." "Worse guys than you have skimmed past the pearly gates." "Did you get him off, harry?" "Sure, sure." "Where you really been, harry?" "I couldn't find you noplace." "I was married - married and divorced." "Reno, reno." "Who was she, harry?" "A friend of mudgin- psychoneurosis." "Miss emily?" "Yeah." "Yeah, emily." "I'll see you guys later." "You did that to miss emily?" "Patterson..." "married?" "Let's have a drink, mudge, on me." "A drink?" "No, not now." "I got an errand to do." "Whew... did i stop one!" "'Twas a dirty fight?" "No, it was strict merchant marine rules." "I'm always underestimating him." "Don't you really mean that you overestimated me?" "Oh, no, miss emily." "I bet you done better than anybody else could've done." "I claim a draw." "You know, they say a girl can't ever win." "All she can do is hold down the score." "I got to take the blame for this." "Oh, no." "We were both overconfident... but you can quote me- a very charming man." "Oh, the tricky, twisty ways of him." "When i brung him into the library, i knowed from the very first it was you he'd be after." "So did i." "But the charm of the scamp-you didn't know that." "Oh, yes." "Not like me, who's followed him these many years." "I've cursed him for picking fights, then gone after him into the brawl he started." "I've even defended him to women using my native eloquence." "What did you tell him?" "He'll miss you, i say." "He'll grieve for you and come back a better man." "Be patient, be true, and wait for him to grow the thorny rose you planted in his heart." "That was lovely, mr." "Mudgin." "It was a lie." "But i'll not lie to you, miss emily." "It's good riddance you broke with him." "That was brave." "That was strong." "I told you i got at least a draw, didn't i?" "You ain't bruised too bad?" "No." "You see, i'm a pretty tough mug myself." "Sure, now, you are." "You are." "But me... i'm sailing with him." "Bullied me into it, he did!" "Sheer bullying!" "You deserve a bow." "A bow?" "For saving that black ocean, and me without a soul?" "Both of us are lost-castaways." "He needs you, mr." "Mudge." "Keep this under your hat, pal, but he isn't nearly the champion he thinks he is." "Harry patterson?" "I can say no more." "It's a trade secret... but put the laurel wreath on his brow and let him swagger." "The guy still rates a cheer, and you can quote me." "Queen deirdre herself." "Shake." "Good-bye, mr." "Mudge." "Hi." "Helen!" "What are you doing home?" "I'm trying to think of something to tell you that i forgot." "I give up... so i'll tell the truth." "I left a lot of worry here." "Oh, dear helen." "Hey, you sound fine." "Em, are you packing to go away with him his last few days?" "No." "We parted..." "gay as two larks." "If you're sorry for me, you'll be sorry... but you can have the harbor till he's gone." "I'll be back in two days... tell you about a daydream i had in the library." "Thank you." "Hi, em!" "Come down here." "What's the matter?" "What are you painting my house for?" "Ha!" "It needs it, don't it?" "What are you painting it for?" "Just a going-away present, that's all." "I guess i thought it would please you." "Thought you'd leave a little money in my shoes." "Now, look." "That's the last way to look at it, emily." "I see how it would make you sore, naturally, but it ain't like that." "When i said a present, i meant like a present to reno from both of us." "Usually you paint the town good the last day, in my trade." "But i thought, just to show you that reno was the best time i ever had ashore, i'd paint your house instead." "Well... that's very nice of you, harry, of course." "Now we can say good-bye again." "As you said, we're always saying good-bye." "You don't want me to finish it?" "No, harry, thanks." "Why?" "Because... because i say so!" "Ok." "Ok!" "Oh, fine, you decided to paint the house." "It looks great." "I take it you're miss sears." "I'm mr." "Littleton." "I wish i'd known- i should give up my last day, and you don't want it." "But, painter, what's the trouble?" "Now, this can all be settled." "What a sucker i was!" "Get out here, will you?" "Get out of here!" "What's the matter, miss sears?" "Looks to me like he's doing a fine job." "Get out?" "Listen, i'm out!" "I never was such a sucker." "I should give up my last day to paint this rusty dump!" "We can't get anywhere this way, painter." "Get out of here!" "Go on, get out of here!" "I'll get out when i'm good and ready!" "Yeah, yeah, you got that library look." "You're screwy." "Oh!" "Get out of here!" "Get out of here!" "Miss sears, you can't treat painters like that these days." "They're independent." "Whoa, they're independent." "So long, screwball!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "All right, all right, get that spring line in." "Shore leave's over." "Come on, shake a leg!" "Ok, harry." "All clear aft?" "All clear aft, captain." "All clear forward, bosun?" "All clear forward, captain!" "All right, take it away!" "Let's get out of here!" "Hey!" "Hi!" "Hey, fellas, look who's here!" "Hiya, slugger!" "Hiya, dempsey!" "Hiya, fellas!" "Hi!" "Hi!" "Don't hit the ship!" "Where is he?" "Hey, harry!" "Here's your... hiya, pal!" "Hey, emily!" "Hiya, rocks!" "Do you know why i was mad?" "No!" "L- i didn't want anything changed!" "What?" "I liked it as it was!" "What?" "Ahh!" "I liked it as it was!" "Oh." "How was it?" "Wasn't painted sunday, was it?" "Oh!" "Hey, don't get sweet!" "This ain't no time to get sweet!" "Throw a rock!" "Ok!" "Hey!" "I'll buy you a drink!" "Ha ha!" "What'll you have, pal?" "Ice water!" "Bellboy's knocking!" "Who bought me this?" "Me!" "Where?" "Reno! hey, mudge!" "Don't your soul rate waving good-bye, too?" "You mean grinnin' like the way you said it?" "Sure." "A guy's soul, his dame, powell street, tip your hat to him." "Ahh, i couldn't." "That's too final." "Aw, snap out, pal." "Nothing is ever final as long as you're living." "Well, miss emily was final." "Emily?" "Yeah." "I saw her say good-bye." "Ho ho, she's always saying good-bye to me." "She's crazy." "Did you see her throw her hat?" "Indeed i saw it." "You saw nothin'." "You should have seen her throwing rocks." "Some screwball." "My frisco screwball." "Screwball, eh?" "Ha!" "She's gonna be waitin' for you when you get back, ain't she?" "Sure." "Wouldn't surprise me if she met the ship swimming." "No, no, mr." "Bosun, you never left her." "She left you, god bless her." "But you're never gonna be rid of her, not miss emily." "With her laughter and her sweet craziness." "She'll tear your heart out." "You stumbled onto a queen, and queens get into men's blood, and dirty tramps from the sea can't take it!" "Mudge." "This is me you're talking to-harry." "Yeah, i know it's you, harry." "Yeah?" "I guess it was something i was saving up." "Now it's said." "Don't want to take it back?" "Not one word." "Take it back." "You ain't talking to your friend, you're talking to your bosun." "Oh, my bosun, is it?" "Well, bein' a sailor and with respect to discipline to bosun patterson, i take it back." "To my friend that was, never will i." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "It was all my idea, coming to reno." "Emily was here on her honeymoon, and i said the way to get cured quick is take a hair of the dog that bit you." "You mean a tack from the heel that kicked you." "My last one was just plain rat." "How about yours, emily?" "Mine was a sailor." "Oh." "Annapolis man?" "No." "What was his rank, darling?" "He's a bosun." "Greatest bosun of them all." "And the biggest heel." "But what's a bosun, emily?" "I think it's the next rank above admiral of the fleet." "He was just a tough mug sailor." "He sounds romantic." "Don't believe i ever knew a sailor." "Oh, you missed a lot." "She was a perfectly happy librarian until he- oh, no, helen, no." "I worked in a morgue." "You should have seen the dead rise up when that sailor came in." "Even gabriel's horn couldn't pipe him down." "He treated you like a tomato on a big shore leave." "What a shore leave." "And then he ran off to sea!" "I would have had an adorable husband." "Adorable?" "For 3 days every 6 months." "Or one day every 10 years." "Mm-hmm." "Emily!" "Emily!" "Hey, joe!" "She isn't used to drinking." "Better get a doctor, helen." "Is she all right?" "Was it just the brandy?" "Oh, no, no, no." "But nothing to be alarmed about." "Quite a common ailment among brides." "Huh?" "Emily- oh, you poor kid, emily!" "They say a woman can't keep a secret." "You should have told me." "Oh, no, no." "You're not going through with the divorce." "Certainly i am." "Well, you better write him and- no, no, never." "And i want you to promise that you won't write to him." "Ohhh... having babies is no fun, you know." "The least he could do is- no, he couldn't." "Not for me." "I'm not going to ask him." "Oh, emily!" "Hey, hey, don't let it get you down." "What are we gonna do?" "Right now you're going to wash the tears off your face." "We're going to the dance tonight." "* once there was a waitress * * in the bridge door hotel * * her master was a fine one * * and her mistress was a-swell * * along came a sailor lad * * fresh from the sea *" "* and that was the beginning * * of all that misery * when did he speak to you guys last?" "Outside of given orders, not since we left sydney, more than a month." "I ain't had a look out of him since frisco, 6 months." "6 months and 11 days." "If you ask me, it's all hooked up with that goofy fight he and mudge had when we left frisco." "Mudgin gives me the creeps, too." "All over the ship and in every blinking' port like a daft bird dog after a grouse that flew away." "Still lookin' for that cockeyed soul of his." "*... as far as you can see * * for i trusted one once * * and he put out to sea * * and that is- * stop that yowling!" "Where's mudgin?" "He's up in the... oh." "Yeah, "oh."" "Hello, bosun harry, old pal... sir." "What are you doing off-duty?" "Miss emily, harry." "I saw her-saw her from the lookout." "She was standin' right here by number one lifeboat." "She didn't look scared or sorrowful or nothin'." "Brave and beautiful she was." "Gay-like, she smiled and throwed her shoes in the ocean." "You're drunk." "You're blind drunk." "No, no, harry." "Sober i saw her, too." "The fifth night out of frisco." "Yeah." "Yeah, that's right, mudgin." "You're always seeing things." "If it ain't your soul popping out of you and running up powell street, it's a tomato." "Yeah, that's right, mr." "Bosun, sir." "I can see things." "I can hear things, too." "Sir." "Here." "Come on, this way." "Yes, sir, bosun old pal, sir." "Right back up there on watch." "Come on." "Get up there, and make it fast, pal." "Hold on now, harry." "Start climbing." "Climbin' it is, i'll scoot up that witchbroom handle... it's been a screwy deal, harry, but you don't want this." "We've hoisted too many together for this." "He's stiff, harry." "I ain't hoisted one with you for a long time." "Harry, that's the first time you ever hit a man with his hands down." "You've been hit harder than even i thought." "You're massacred." "Stand by for that freight's spring line!" "Let go of your spring." "Cast her in." "Come on, get that gangplank up here." "Hiya, chili!" "Harry!" "Oh, harry, harry." "I've been counting the time, too, pal." "Every second." "Did you count every second, harry?" "I might have missed a moment, baby, here and there." "Don't tell me about them." "Still love me best?" "I mean, minnie the best and me second?" "Look, see them footprints of yours?" "Say good-bye to them." "I'll be right back in them when you leave, harry." "You're crazy with the heat." "I've quit the ship." "I'm washed." "I'm quitting everything, right to left, left- i mean right and left." "I'm spittin' cotton." "Hey, nick!" "Champagne!" "I want to get the bad taste of this mud scow out of my mouth." "Blow your perfume at me, pal." "I'm sick of smelling sailors." "Champagne never to say good-bye again." "Champagne to say hello and hello." "Hello, hello!" "To chili, my dear old homestead." "To the dear old homestead and dear me in it." "Mmm, mmm." "Ok!" "Tell time it can stop." "Stop, time!" "She stop?" "All anchored, baby." "Now, now say you love me." "I love ya." "Better." "Good." "No girl laughs at me?" "I'm all yours, baby." "Hey, let's go." "Where's reno around here?" "Reno?" "Who's she?" "Ha ha!" "Reno's no girl, baby." "Like minnie, another ship?" "A little city, biggest little city in the world." "Reno sounds sweet." "Let's go to reno." "Ok, emily." "Emily?" "Oh." "Don't tell me emily's a ship." "Don't tell me emily's a little city!" "The good ship emily." "No!" "The good old town of emily, nevada." "No!" "All right, emily's a girl." "We got married and divorced." "Señor patterson, is it not?" "It is." "And i brought you some of the kid's things." "Ah." "Yeah, the kid flunked." "And us guys that didn't pray was passed." "Yes, i had the same thought when i was in sail long ago." "The best and the bravest, they are taken." "That's right, a dirty gyp." "But he shoved off with a laugh." "Seems like he just up and walks away on the sea." "Oh, sit down." "This is my maria." "Señorita." "Hola, señor." "Long after your ship had dropped from sight, she stood and waved at the empty sea." "Attaboy, my statue." "A kindly act, señor." "I thank you." "To a sailor." "And his evening star." "Ok, grandpa!" "What do you say?" "Great-grandpa." "Ok, great-grandpa." "Let's all get stiff." "I'm sorry i cannot join you, sailor, i have an engagement for supper." "Uh-oh." "Who is she?" "My grandchildren, my great - grandchildren, my children, and my wife." "Holy moses- all living in one house?" "On my ranch in the hills." "But i see that you are well-fortified, too, señor." "Do we drink again to a happy future and a lot of children?" "Nah, no, no children, no gardens." "The only flower that grows in a garden is familiarity." "And they say it breeds contempt." "Again, i had the same thought when i was young." "You and i would have had a high time once." "And finished, as always, with a headache in the heart." "Harry was married, señor." "Oh?" "Yeah, yeah, i took a whack at it." "How long, harry?" "3 days." "Quite a whack." "Don't regret a minute of it." "One long laugh." "She'd throw a kiss with one hand and a rock with the other." "Ha!" "That screwball!" ""Oh," she says," ""you cheated that nice little man." "Good-bye!"" "Just scientific, darling." ""And i won't steal a chicken!" "Good-bye!"" "I love you, darling." ""Oh, what are you doing on my roof?" "Stop painting my roof!" "Good-bye!"" "She was always saying good-bye to me from the moment i met her!" "Ha!" "That screwball." "A charming, violent lady." "Well, señor... no, no, don't go." "I have my engagement." "The madhouse in the hills?" "It is mad, no doubt, but peaceful, and it should be a little violent to be peaceful." "Yeah?" "My wife and i live familiarly as two old shoes, yet we live in conflict." "We live to make each other laugh, and the children are our audience." "We are greater strangers than the day we met, and thus, my friend, familiarity breeds beauty." "Adios, señor." "Señorita." "He's good." "The old boy's good." "Yes, harry." "He's very good." "Yeah, you're 193, and you can pull that stuff." "When are you going back to her?" "Ha!" "Where do we go from here?" "I left!" "I got laughed out." "I wasn't laughing at you." "It wasn't you who was laughing." "It's she- laughing at me." "Adios, harry." "Hey!" "Maria, hey!" "Maria!" "Hey!" "Ha ha!" "You see what i mean?" "They're always saying good-bye to me." "Nick!" "Come on, what'll you have, everybody?" "It's like i say, red- a guy can forget anything." "A big, strong guy like you?" "Simple." "Time does it." "Time and distance." "Don't i know." "Ain't i told you, harry?" "Sure." "I'll bet you can't even remember the guy's face or nothin' he ever said." "Right?" "Right." "He was a soft-talking heel from alabama with a dimple in his chin, and i forgot him like that." "Just like that." "And you ain't a sailor." "A sailor's got plenty of ocean- 10,000 miles of the stuff." "And time, that does it." "Time." "Good old time." "God bless time, i say." "It's better than booze or dope." "The docs ain't got nothing compared to what a few months will do." "Or years." "Sometimes you need years." "Not me." "That depends on who you're forgetting." "I don't wish to appear dogmatic, my dear harry, but it does depend on who you forget." "There ain't a dame on earth i can't forget in 6 months." "Ok, ok." "You fall in love with a dame, and she wants to plant trees in your heart." "To shade a potato patch that she'll water with your blood." "Harry... harry, mudgin's hurt." "He fell off the ship." "Ok, throw him back again." "But, harry, he's layin' on the dock with his whole side caved in!" "Tell the captain i don't fall for that stuff." "Tell him mudgin and i parted company." "Harry, captain was sailing without you, but not mudgin." "He jumped ship to find you." "I ain't seen mudgin so crazy since he lost his soul!" "This better be on the level." "Here, pal, 20 bucks." "What for?" "Good conversation." "Ok, boys, take him aboard." "How is he, doc?" "Stop jarring' him." "'Course... ireland is... and me wash spitoons for sean again." "The sea... ships... good-bye, darlin'." "Look out!" "Torpedo, torpedo!" "Ok, mudge, ok." "Lay still and rest." "Oh, it's you, harry." "Yeah." "Here, want some water?" "Where's the sky?" "And the wind blowin'?" "We're on the ship, mudge." "Bound for frisco." "Frisco?" "Then i'll go on deck now." "No, no, no." "Take it easy." "But a man mustn't die in this rathole." "You ain't gonna die." "Indeed, now?" "Let's take him on deck, harry." "Couldn't make him no worse." "Yeah, if we done it careful." "Ok." "Ok." "The sky... the wind... mudge, we're out of the rathole." "I know it." "Well, take a look." "I'm scared to..." "and ashamed." "Nothing to feel that way about." "The fog- the fog's closin' in, and i ain't got my soul- my weepin' immortal soul." "You never lost it, mudge." "Yes, i did." "On powell street." "A tiny light, a little star." "I'm in the dark now." "All by myself, and not even a match to strike on my britches." "A disgrace to ireland." "Aye... did you feel it, harry?" "Did it touch you?" "Sure, mudge, sure." "Tell me something- my soul, he give it back to me." "That's right, mudge." "Near enough." "Ain't you got up there yet?" "Oh, you still loose?" "Nothing ever changes." "Well, i guess i'll take a chance." "Brother, you're due." "I'll hang around a few minutes, in case you come out on your ear." "Ok." "Hi, helen." "Emily!" "Hi, pal." "Em!" "Em!" "Where is she?" "She don't live here anymore." "Where does she live?" "Why?" "Hey, what's eating you?" "What kind of a greeting is this?" "Greet you?" "I greet you?" "I could cut your throat, you rat!" "And i could cut mine, too!" "That morning from reno in there- that day of the big celebration and all that stuff i pulled about- about being so happy because you made her feel so happy!" "Oh, boy, all those words came back and bit me!" "What's the matter, helen?" "Emily and i parted the best pals going." "She don't know you're alive!" "She'd divorced." "She's rid of you." "She's all right, and you leave her alone." "You leave her alone!" "There's my cab." "Where you going?" "Where you going?" "Golden gate bridge." "Where you going?" "Hey-hey, i thought that other dame- hurry, driver, hurry." "Hey, what is?" "You tell me where emily is, and i'm not kiddin'." "I'll tell you." "She's having a baby!" "How do you like that?" "A baby?" "Yeah, a baby." "Ever heard of them?" "Well, this is it!" "What's the idea of her having a baby, and me not knowing it?" "If i'm a father, i'm a father." "Where is she?" "We're going there." "The farm." "Well, you wait till i get there." "Come on, step on it!" "Get going!" "Yes, father." "I'm going to town." "Stick around." "Yeah, he won't be with us long." "The least you could do is leave her alone now." "Yeah?" "Well, it's on your head." "The doctor says she's in no condition to be upset." "I'm handling this." "Hello, miss melohn." "How is she?" "She seems fine." "No, no, i'm sorry." "No visitors." "I ain't no visitor, toots." "Chief surgeon, merchant marine." "He is?" "No, it's him- the big bosun." "Oh." "Don't see it." "Where do you keep it?" "Said there's a tree in here." "Oh." "Is that it out there?" "It's a big tree." "One night i met a girl underneath it." "Shh!" "Shh!" "We're in the library, at that." "I'm just whistling for drinks." "Ha ha ha ha!" "Hiya, pal!" "Remember me?" "I wouldn't know you, you've changed so." "How do you do, mr." "Patterson?" "How do you do?" "You don't look no different, baby." "Hey, i got the news from dear old helen." "Congratulations, pal." "Oh." "All right, are you?" "Uh-huh." "I'm fine, i'm fine." "And you shouldn't be reading in this light." "You want to ruin your eyes?" "Hmm?" "No air!" "Hey... when's this supposed to happen, pal?" "It could have happened yesterday." "Well, what's the idea?" "Why ain't you in a hospital, where you belong?" "This ain't no setup." "A farm, a hick doctor." "You know who'll take the rap if anything goes wrong?" "Me." "Such concern, harry- i'm overcome." "But i was born in this bed, and dr." "Ashlon was my doctor." "I see." "Dr. Ashlon was your doctor, now he's my doctor." "An old man tripping on his beard." "Not a chance." "Are you having a good time?" "Hmm?" "Just as fresh as ever." "A dame's gonna have a baby, she usually writes a guy, don't she?" "Sometimes a girl... gets writer's cramp, harry." "Yeah?" "Well, it wasn't thoughtful of you." "Ha!" "I've been wondering what it would be like to see you again." "How is it?" "Oh, it's just... gay." "What's that mean?" "It doesn't hurt." "Not to be hurt hurts more." "I guess i don't get you." "That big tree." "You met a girl under it, harry." "That first night, that first kiss... the moon turned over, and the flood splashed in her face." "Where is that girl?" "I don't see myself in your eyes, harry." "Harry." "Yeah?" "Will you marry me, harry?" "Sure thing, anytime!" "Right to left, left to right." "You wouldn't marry me if i asked you to." "Oh, probably would." "I was alone for a long while before you came along, and i've been alone for a longer while since you left." "I know there'll never be another man under a tree for me." "Funny, all that talk of trees and libraries." "There should be a real tree, for a minute." "Well, pal, i'll hand you one." "I'll never kiss another girl under a tree, either." "We just missed, didn't we?" "How long you staying this time, harry?" "Oh, i got a couple of weeks, with luck." "Good." "How are the boys?" "Oh, and harry, how's my mudgin?" "He's ok." "He, uh, found his soul." "Oh?" "It had wings on him." "Flew away with him." "You must miss him terribly." "Aw, he's just a pal of mine." "He's a pal of mine, too." "He called me queen dierdre." "That poor lost poet who had the strength of a bosun." "He was strong enough." "What's the matter?" "Oh... a friend of ours wants to see us." "Oh... nurse!" "Nurse!" "Pain?" "Yeah." "Where are you?" "Get in there, will you?" "It hit her just like a knife." "Well, that's what we've been waiting for." "That's great." "You've been waiting for it." "Harry!" "She all right?" "Yes, she's all right." "You got a little boy, harry!" "But if you want to see him, you better hurry!" "Cyanosis, doctor." "Normal pregnancy, normal birth, but he doesn't breathe." "Tell me why." "You're just out of johns hopkins, ain't you?" "You know everything." "Tell me why." "Get out of here." "I'm his father." "Father?" "You are?" "Oxygen." "Oxygen got to... any chance, doc?" "I don't know." "Johns hopkins doesn't know." "Adrenaline." "Maybe some more doctors- don't talk like a fool!" "50 seconds between life and death, and he calls for more doctors." "Our baby." "And we did it." "Don't even give god credit for a little help." "L- i'm praying." "Well, i don't know why he should hear you." "Moochers, all of us." "Take his loan of life and never work it out, never pay him back." "Squandered his sunshine on miserable two-legged beasts, lend his world to biological misfits- deaf, dumb, blind." "Make him breathe, doc." "Come on." "Grab it, sonny." "Work your lungs." "Cyanosis, doctor." "More oxygen." "Yeah, that'll do it." "It worked in the past, that ought to do it." "Yeah." "Pin clouds of glory on him with a hypo needle." "Syringe music in his ears." "Drop stars in his eyes." "And... and i guess he couldn't do it for us." "His little immortal soul is- breathe!" "Breathe for us, pal." "Come on, boy." "I want to give you to your mother." "Come on with it!" "You got to do it for me!" "Breathe." "For your mother." "Attaboy." "Attaboy!" "Harry!" "Harry!" "You hear him?" "He's here." "He's here to stay." "I heard you, harry." "I heard you." "Listen to him." "Yes." "Young harry patterson." "Young mudgin patterson." "Oh, yes." "Yes." "Young william mudgin patterson." "Young mudgin." "Big harry." "Emily." "And a tree."