"Jacqueline!" "Jacqueline!" ""Where are you, Jacqueline?"" "Where are you, Jacqueline?" "Jacqueline, you know Papa hates waiting." "I'm almost ready." "Shit!" "Jacqueline..." "Are you crazy?" "They Stay on or I'm not coming." "Okay." "We'll see what Papa has to say." "Papa, Papa, Papa..." "I don't care what Papa says." " Where did he go, anyway?" " To Leipzig." "Leipzig?" "Why today of all days?" "Calm down, will you?" " It's meant to be a surprise." " Oh boy!" "Udo and a surprise." "Maybe he'll turn up in Grandpa's car." "What?" "Udo without Georgie is like a lid without a pot" " About time, Papa" " Look what I've got." "It's fully automatic" "Aperture, speed..." "Even the film winds on automatically" "The lens comes out and goes back in again." "Look at Udo with Georgie, his old soapbox." "They're a waste of time." "I spent more time under my Trabi than on top of my wife." " In and out, in and out..." " Grandpa's Japanese camera." "Hey, Udo!" "How's your turbo?" "Get out, Jacqueline." "Get out immediately." " Not on the first day, Papa." " The rags stay here." " What's wrong with you?" " Take them off right now." "If you want me to..." "Jacqueline!" " Come on, shape up." " Go on, box" "Udo, where are you off to, if I may ask?" " Naples." "What?" "Naples?" "You won't get past Leipzig" "We'll drive up Mt Vesuvius, smoke or no smoke." "The pictures will prove it." "Sure, Naples..." "See Naples and die." "I must confess that my journey was actually an escape from all that I had suffered on the 51st parallel." "I was hopeful, however, of finding heaven on the 48th." "Go on, Mama, look in the glovebox." "Italian Journey by Goethe?" "That's our compass." "It's better than any map." "It's 200 years old, but still topical." " Sandwich, Jackie?" " The smell alone puts me off." "Forget it, then." "You think this book will lead us to Naples?" ""The Struutz Family's Italian Journey."" "First stop:" "Regensburg." "I'm sure Uncle Bernd and Aunt Gerda will be thrilled." "Of course." "Turn that rubbish off." "At once!" "Why don't you back me up, Mama?" " The pill is all you think of." " So what?" "Behave." "I left mine on the kitchen table." "Drive on, Papa." "You're too stressed out to need it." "How much longer to Regensburg?" "Two hours." "Yes, winds permitting." "A convertible!" "Far out!" "How fast are we going?" "120!" "Careful your bonnet doesn't fly up around your ears!" "120?" "Georgie, this is your personal best." "You've pushed him too hard." "Rubbish!" "The fuel cock needs switching over." "Looks where you're going, you idiot!" "Oh, boy..." "Don't worry, Udo." "We'll get over the oxygen shock." "Your sister..." "I knew it." "One day the Saxons are at the door... with all their stuff." "Looks like a Turkish caravan." "Alfons... clear the table." "Children!" "We Saxons are so bright." "The whole world knows that's right." "And if you see us lapsing, it's 'cos we are relaxing." "Oh, Gerda..." "you still know it." "Come inside." "Look at this!" "Sit down." "Nice wall unit you have." "We could never afford one." "9895 marks, including VAT." "That's a steal" "Can I offer you anything?" "Here, Help yourselves." "You shouldn't have, Gerda" "Udo, are you still the diligent German teacher following in Goethe's footsteps?" "Yes." "In fact, right now we're following him to Naples." "Right." "Well..." "Did Goethe stop over in Regensburg?" "Regensburg... 5th September, 1786." "I am writing this on the 49th parallel." "A very pleasant degree." "This morning was cool but the day is turning out wonderfully mild." "The fruit is not particularly exciting." "I am longing for grapes and figs." "Well Jacqueline, you've grown into a real woman." "96... 68... 96." "Really?" "Alfons, show Jacqueline your PC." "Go on." "Jacqueline..." "This is my monitor." "The switch is at the back." "And this is the mouse." "it gets you into the program." "From the menu... you get... into a new program." " It's that simple." " I see." "Yes, and if you want to know what's in it, you just move the mouse to here... and then... you're in the next program." "Look what I've got here." "It's virtually and empty room." "First I let it out to a few Turks." "After I got rid of the garlic stench" "I let it out to Easterners for 50 marks per day." "Including VAT." "But that's cheap." "No, that's per person." "Times 4 and it's 200 cash." "And people claim they have no money." "I said to myself" ""Let's see how my compatriots are getting on out here."" "So I checked the shit bucket." "It was full." "How could people who supposed to be starving manage to shit so much?" "Well, go inside." "Make yourselves comfortable." "And have a good sleep." " Okay, okay..." " Go and sit down, Papa." "En suite with shower over the toilet" "Far out." "Jacqueline!" "Here's a snack for you." "Say hello to your mouse." "I forgot to tell you." "This is actually Dolly's place." "Inside!" "Now you can rest easy." "Good night, Dolly." "Sleep well." "Yes, good night." " Thanks." " Have a nice trip." "Jacqueline!" "Next time your vist us I'll have a new program up." " I'll show it to you." " Bye" "No... it's the engine." "That's it." "It's the head gasket." "I can smell it." " Emergency Service, Munich." " Udo Struutz, Bitterfeld." "That's typical of Udo." "All he does it talk, talk." " What make of car?" " A 601" " A Porsche?" " No, a Trabant." "I hope you've got some sticky tape." "Hi." "Bitterfeld?" "Potsdam." "Pleasure." "Coffee?" " It's the head gasket." " No it's worse." "The heart?" "This used to be your distributor." "It's all charred here." "Well, shall we repair or bury it?" "Operate." "Let's tackle it." "What's it called?" "Georgie." "A car is only human, right?" "What are you doing with that toy?" "Go and fix Haslinger's BMW." "Yes, Haslinger's BMW." "With a Trabant, you can still see how a car works." "Charlie!" "Right?" "Sure you don't need the manual?" "Positive." "I can take this Trabi apart in one hour and reassemble it in two." "I've been repairing Trabis for 20 years." "Nothing but Trabis." "Just a moment..." "Charlie!" " Ready?" " Yes, ready." "That comes to 619.52 marks." "619?" "Including VAT." "Of course." " Cash or cheque?" " Cash." "Cash." "Well, the spare parts are originals from Zwickau." " The good old days" " Good?" " Mr Haslinger is here!" " His BMW is around the corner." "Nothing wrong with it!" "That's blown all our money." "Let's drive home, Papa." "How about a peep show?" " That's a great idea." " Pardon?" "It's simply marvellous." "Just like old times, eh?" "We used to have a gogomobile, you know." "Remember when we drove to the mountains?" "It was red." "And it was called Fritz." "That's right." "No, keep it." "You'll need it." "Anyone cares so much for his car must be okay." "Well then, all the best." "Keep it." "No, it goes in there." "What the hell?" "Georgie must handle this or we can forget Naples." "My Georgie!" "Bye." " Where are you going, Udo?" " I've had enough." " I'm calling it a day." " Already?" "Look at that!" "Almost 1000 marks in 5 hours." "I don't earn that in a week." "Half goes for the rent." "Fair's fair." "So I'll take my share." "It's free enterprise." "Bye." "Quick, Papa!" "Fabulous!" "You can't do this!" "It's bad manners." "I don't believe this." "Are you crazy?" "Get out!" "This is not a toy." "This is a Trabant" "Get lost!" "Come Mama." "I don't believe this." "Don't you ever touch my car again!" "We're on our way to Rome now." "We'd better have a snooze first." "Jackie?" "I'm not eating until we reach Italy." " Where will we sleep tonight?" " Hotel Saxon Retreat." "Hotel Saxon Retreat?" "I don't believe this." " Got a light?" " No..." "Not even a cigarette lighter?" "This is the standard model." " I've cricked my neck" " I'll drive." "It's totally dislocated." "Must you go to a department store?" "Rita needs a new swimsuit." "She can't wear her old bloomers." "Or should she go naked on the Italian beaches?" "Naked?" "Out of the question." " There's a parking space." " Where?" "Too late." "Drive on." " Now it's all my fault." " Yes, if you don't look ahead." " There's another one." " Where?" " Thank God nothing happened." " Nothing happened?" " It's just the bumper bar." " Just the bumper bar..." "A car without a bumper bar is like a man without a nose." " Where will I get a new one?" " A nose?" "At the scrap yard." "Do your shopping and we'll meet at 3 o'clock." "And you're not driving again before Naples." "Well?" "No." "It's impossible." "It's crazy." "Better to be crazy than old hat." "It's a hot little number." "It's great." "When you go for a swim the whole Riviera will boil." "It's wickedly expensive." "A bit of wickedness will be good for Udo." "After all, his Goethe was one for the ladies." "Trying on everything, eh?" "How nice." "This is silk from Paris." "Paris?" "It's from our polyester factory." "I'll take it." "You can pay over there." "I'm going for a wander See you later Mama." "Hello!" "Is it self-service here?" "What's this?" "Original parts from Zwickau, eh?" "Like I said, as original as they come." " What do you need today?" " An original bumper bar." "Let's have a look." "An original." "No. don't worry." "It's okay." "Bye." "Georgie!" "What?" "My car!" "Ah!" "Tea-break." "That's my car!" "Does it still go?" "By the way, this is a scrap yard, not a car park." "Bloody Saxon..." "It's not your fault, Georgie." "You've always done well." "I'll grab you by the hair one day!" "I bet she's from Saxony." "I pick up the scent, just like a truffle pig." "Hi, sweetheart!" "Feel like a banana shake?" " Are you from Munich?" " No, from Bitterfeld" "Near Leipzig" "Look at that." "Those Saxons walk about like open piggy banks." "A zombie, please." "No hair on his balls yet but a comb in his pocket." "Did you buy it?" "Won't Udo be surprised!" " Where are you heading?" " Naples." "Naples?" "In that biscuit box?" "It'll roll back from the Brenner Pass." "Know what?" "I'll give you a piggy-back ride." "No one will notice it amongst those bombs." "It looks as if it's been crushed twice already." "It's really nice here." " We'll save on toll charges." " And spend it on pizzas." "Only if Papa doesn't blow everything on Georgie again." "Where the hell has he gone to?" "He's probably asleep on the toilet." "Wakey-wakey!" "Time for morning exercises!" "I don't believe it." " Are you crazy?" " Look, here's our Papa." " Get in." " Come on, Papa." "Other side." "What's the difference between chewing gum and a Trabi?" "None." "Step on either and it sticks to your shoe." "I like that..." ""It sticks to your shoe."" "How do you double the value of a Trabi?" "Fill it up with petrol." "What's the difference between a Trabi and a condom?" "None." "Both stop the flow." "Listen..." "A Trabi ends up in a ditch right next to a cow pat." "The cow pat asks "What are you?"" ""I'm a car" says the Trabi." "Then the cow pat says..." ""If you're a car, then I'm a pizza."" "A pizza!" "Who's got a pizza?" "If we don't meet in this world we'll catch up in Bitterfeld." "118 Trabi Jokes..." "Georgie, I'm glad you've got no ears." "September 8th, 1786." "Brenner." "The coachmen drove so fast it took my breath away." "I regretted having to rush through such lovely country but secretly I was glad that a favourable wind was hurrying me towards my goal." "Good, isn't it?" "You read it nicely, Mama." "Turn that rubbish off!" "Far out!" "This is too much." "Who do they think they are?" "They were lucky." " Can you smell anything?" " No, why?" "No coal, no dust, no dirt." "nothing at all." "I too have reached Arcadia." "It's a bit like Lake Nauendorf" "Fabulous!" "Almost as good as Uncle Bernd's shower loo." "Let's see what Udo's doing." "Coming?" "No, I'll stay." "It's so nice and warm here." "Well, Georgie..." "The felt seems to be okay." "Original from Zwickau..." "A bit of dirt from home." "Bitterfeld" "Let's check the battery." "A bit of water..." "Turn the monkey music off!" " Where's Papa, Jacqueline?" " He's asleep." "Don't wake him." "Who are these guys?" "There's a party." "Want to come along?" "Not like this." "Throw something over the top." "My things are in the car." "And Papa needs his sleep." "Jump into this top." " Listen, child..." " Don't make a fuss, Mama." " Over the top" " What's that?" "The best thing I've got." "Step in here." "Shoes." "How long will they keep this up?" "Is this a marshalling yard?" "Hang on, Jackie." "I'm moving foward a bit." "What's going on?" "Papa's going to look for a quieter place." "You'll be asleep again in two minutes." "Shit!" "No!" "What's the matter with you?" "Maybe something bit him." "You've no reason to snigger..." "This is too much." "They must have been experts." "Stop it." "Stop it now!" "That's it." "My mother's a whore and my father's a basher." "What great parents I have!" " You'll never see me again." " Do something!" "You've finally got rid of me." " Where's she going?" " She'll be back." "But my tyres won't." "How could you do that?" "Your own daughter!" "It hurts me too." "Jacqueline!" "Have a nice trip home to Bitterfeld." "No!" "How can you let four wheels be stolen from under your nose?" "You can have those guys if you want." "Hurry!" "Shit...." "Come on, Jackie." "Shape up." "Listen." "Mama will travel on the luggage rack and you'll be on the jump seat next to Papa" "Silly girl." "Lake Garda." "September 12th, 1786." "Here I am really in a new country." "The doors have no locks." "The innkeeper assures me that I would not have to worry even if all my belongings were made of diamonds." "Ante portas!" "Tonight we camp outside the Eternal City." "Outside?" "We'll drive into Rome, where it's all happening." " And where will you sleep?" " Hotel Saxon Retreat." "Where else?" "The Porta del Popolo." "That's how he entered Rome." " Who?" " Who do you think?" " Johann Wolfgang von Struutz." " Exactly." "Via del Corso" "That's where Goethe stayed." "Numero venti" "Look, the Spanish Steps." "We;" "ll come here tomorrow at 11 a.m." "to enjoy espresso and croissants." " Go on, take a photo." " A photo?" "Of what?" "Of Rome, of course!" " Damn it..." " Grandpa's new camera!" "I'll show him!" "Where are you going?" "Stay!" " Mamma!" " You stay with Georgie." "Sorry." "You scoundrel!" "Mum!" "Everything's okay Mum." "Everything's under control." "Look at all this dough!" "Come on, Mum." "Where's Papa?" "That's not a bank." "The cops won't give you a fair deal." "Hey, you!" "I only wanted to hand it in." "That guy ruined your blouse." "Let him pay for a new one." "You're still in shock." "We should spend the dough." "What shall I do with the rest?" " Let's have a shower first." " A shower?" "Of course!" "But I wonder where Papa is." "Papa?" "Papa has Georgie, like a tortoise has its shell." "If we don't seem him today we'll meet him for breakfast at the Spanish Steps." "Signor, where's the Spansih square with the steps?" "I think I'll find it." "Sure I will." " What about Papa?" " Come on..." " You said you wanted a shower." " That's right." "First class." "Bye." "Go on, pinch me." "It's 7.10 p.m. in Bitterfeld." "If only Papa could be here." "The bed would collapse." "What's going on here?" "How do I get to Via del Corto?" "It's only licensed to carry four." "What are you doing, girls." "Quite!" "Now, one after the other." "Turn that music off!" "Let's have him for dessert." "Shall I get my mate for a foursome?" "I grew up in Berlin." "Any other wishes, ladies?" "Are you thinking of Udo?" "Don't worry, Rita." "You'll have your Papa back tomorrow." "Georgie will look after him." "Jackie..." "I think I'm pregnant." "A woman can feel it." "You're kidding." " To Udo." " Whereever he may be." "Where else would he be but the Hotel Saxon Retreat?" "How happy I feel in Rome!" "I can barely remember when a day in the north lifted my spirts so." "The dull sky always weighed so heavily upon me." "The world seemed without colour or form." "But now the brighter ether illuminates my brow." "Pheobus, arise, and paint the sable skies." "The night sky is filled with stars and sweet song." "The moon shines brighter than many a northern day." "To you, Mama." "Udo Struutz, this is your day." "Where?" "Did you see that?" "It's metal!" "Looks like a canary." "February 2nd, 1787" "Nobody who has not taken one can imagine the beauty of a walk through Rome... by full moon." "Hey Papa!" "Rita..." "It's 17 years since you called me anything but Mama." "Beautiful." "The Bay of Naples." "Fantastic!" "The Struutz family at Mt Vesuvius" "Stand in front of Georgie." "Quick!" "Breathe in and don't move." "Georgie!" "Grandpa's camera!" "Jacqueline you were conceived in Georgie..." "We drove to the hospital when you were ready." "Georgie was our best man." " Listen!" " I can't hear anything." "I can hear it quite clearly." "Georgie..." "Your bottom looks all right." "The axle is okay." "Careful!" "Oh Crap." "A convertible!" "Far out!" "Where's your hat, Georgie?" "What a faithful old soul you are, Georgie!" "The mirror's in one piece." "The roof..." "I don't think we need it any more." "I'm sure that Trabi drivers are the toughest of all." "March 9th, 1787." "Naples." "One agreeable aspect of travel is that even ordinary incidents, because they are novel and unexpected, have a touch of adventure about them." "Listen to her!" "Here comes the yellow car, if it starts." "Georgie, don't let us down." " The car has more room now." " We'll be needing it." "Drive on." "We've only got 9 months to get home." "Subtitles:" "Wolfgang Moeller Ander McCormick" "Subtitles:" "Copyright 1993 SBS, Australia"