"Upside down people." "The graveyard shift, whatever you call us." "We're the ones working at night while you sleep." "We look out for each other, or I looked out for Lyman, and he looked out for everyone else." "But off the road, he thought everyone else had read the big instruction manual." "Lyman wasn't going to talk until he had it all figured out." "Riding that highway loop night after night was the only job he'd ever had, unless you count all the classes he took at the community college." "Oh he learned lots of things, just not the basics, and they aren't in books." "You take care out there, Lyman." "Hmm." "I just waited, and kept him away from the greasy foods." "I gave him a smile and coffee in the night." "Some people talk to say something." "Some when they have something to say." "0 to 60 in 4 seconds." "Boy, I'd give my left nut for a piece of that." "Morning Lyman..." "Neil, you over-inflated the right front tire again." "Say, his social skills are improving." "A whole sentence." "On your way to work, or still in the shower, stick with us and we'll bring the sunshine into your day." "This is New Mexico's first in news, traffic and weather, kasa..." "Wanna come out friday night?" "Um come visit me in the library, you never come by anymore." "I miss you." "Here you go, come out friday night?" "Hey ladies we're reclaiming the myth of the cowboy friday night." "Come see us." "Hey guys." "Wanna come out friday night?" "Talking cowboys not politicians, obviously." "See you there." "Here you go." "Polly wan na... shut up!" "Polly wanna crack... shut up!" "I'm an eagle!" "Give some to the parrot." "Sorry... you bit me." "Shut up." "That won't do." "How's Floyd today?" "Pleased as a puppy with two tails." "Shhhh... it's his birthday next week... what do you think?" "Too... perfect." "Is that it, Fiona?" "Yep." "Come on sugar." "Than ks, Amber." "You look like a first-timer." "Did you just geta bird?" "No." "I found it... a parrot... found me." "Do you have a... if the bird's lost, you can fill out a form, it will go on our website, and on our lost and found board for two weeks." "Hey congratulations, you've been book-crossed." ""I'm free and you've been caught,"" "I'm traveling around the world," ""so, keep my dream alive, read and release me!"" "right. ok." "Can I just get the form?" "I have a sort of bird emergency." "Third aisle in the back." "What'd you forget this time?" "Floyd's eye drops." "So... that guy... yeah, cute." "He found a parrot, and he took one of your books." "He speaks?" "Okay he's a stu dent at the college." "Every time I try to talk to him, he just nods and walk away." "And then, I catch him staring at me." "I figure he's either very shy or very gay." "Or very married." "Well, no gay man is going to walk around in that jumpsuit." "You need to get his attention." "Nice work." "Home sweet home." "Brrring Ma 17." "Brrring ma 17." "140, this is 190." "Brrring ma 17." "140, this is 190." "140, this is 190." "Send a tow truck to 599 and blue canyon way." "An abandoned car, plate number charlie o1354..." "Roger." "Howdy, thank you for stopping." "I don't understand." "Oh, it's a thank you for stopping." "I'm a librarian." "Ma'am, just pop your hood please." "Hood... nope... oh." "It's going to be fine." "I put some water in." "Your belts are frayed." "Get off at the next exit, there is a service station there." "Thank you so much." "Don't wait." "You look really familiar." "Haven't I seen you... you want to come to my special cowboy poetry and songs event on friday night?" "You know underneath this skirt, my legs are almost miraculously transformed into my ass." "To everyone else it's obvious." "Please Lyman, if you're gonna stare, at least have the courtesy to introduce yourself." "I was standing there and you... said that thing... how'd you know my name?" "Cause it's written there on your fetching jumpsuit," "Mr. Goodwrench." "You know the first time I saw you, I decided to be forward." "I mean I was already forward before I decided to be forward, so it wasn't that much of a leap for me." "But I thought it would put you at ease." "It's unusual behavior for a librarian." "Thank you." "I'm Fiona James." "What's your story?" "I don't have one." "Of course you do, everybody does." "Me, I specialize in western literature." "I'm the interim director of the eugene manlove rhodes collection." "Temporary." "Yeah, it's what I do." "I do my work, and I move on." "I've lived all over the past eight years." "I like conversation." "I think it's as good as sex." "And if you're a talker, I'm a listener." "Are we gonna go for coffee?" "I had some already." "Live on the edge." "Have another." "I have to go to work." "Ok." "Well, I'm sure if you need any help, you'll let me know." "I should have asked her about books or cowboys, something." "N.. not me, I don't have a story." "Speak for yourself." "Brrrringg... ma 17... speak for yourself." "Rd of the air shall carry the word." "Who made you?" "Carry the word." "Okay, see you on your break then." "Stay safe out there." "Mmhmm." "I heard you got a parrot." "Does 1t talk?" "Are you keeping it?" "No." "No it doesn't talk, or no you're not keeping it?" "No, I'm not keeping it." "Then why did you buy a cage at the pet store?" "Don't you have something to do?" "Yes." "I'm helping you." "I don't need any help." "You don't want any help." "But I'm very good with pets." "I'll help." "It's nota pet." "It's not a pet?" "You're a librarian for god's sake." "Can't you whisper?" "When I talk like this, people don't listen." "Okay I found a parrot, and I'm trying to find out about it so I can return it to it's owner." "Okay, so what does it look like?" "It's uh... pink... pink?" "The parrot is pink?" "Uh... no it's... well it's green... with uh, it's more green than pink, with a yellow patch on it's head." "Hm... what's his name?" "How would I know?" "Well, ask him." "Wait." "That's him." "Yellow-naped amazon?" "All the way from south america." "Look here, it says "a fine ker, gentle and clever."" "has he said anything yet?" "Wow." "Really?" "Yeah, sometimes he sounds like a little girl, then he sounds like a wise old preacher." "What's bring?" "More like brrrinnng the way a telephone rings." "I think that "Ma 17" might mean something." "Are you sure he didn't say "I'm seventeen"?" "No, it was a capital M, capital A, then the number 17." "How do you know it was a capital a, and not a little "a", hmm?" "Maybe that's his name." "Why would anyone name a bird Ma 17?" "Maybe... he's a secret agent." "Wait," "I was kidding." "I can help you." "I'd like to meet him." "I can help you." "I'd like to meet him." "I'd like to meet him." "You can't, I work nights." "Wow, our schedules are so opposite." "Ok, I'll come to work with you." "I get off at 9, then afterwards I can meet the parrot." "You can't come." "It's dangerous." "How?" "You're out in the middle of nowhere, you never know who's out there." "Robbers, axe murderers... murderers still use axes?" "Lyman wait." "Lyman..." "I'll sit on the far side of the truck." "I just think it would be cool driving around at night, helping stranded people." "What are you afraid of?" "I've never been afraid of anything." "That's a big fat one, you're scared to death of me, and I'm just a girl that likes you." "Where does that come from?" "You don't even know me." "I'll help you with your parrot search." "The last thing the parrot said, the B of the air thing," "I think I know where it's from." "Oh look who's got my number." "And now I've got yours." "I have to put an ad in the paper and go to class." "And I lied." "I'm afraid of tornadoes." ""Comment dit on il faut faire attention"" "au conditionel?" "Lyman?" ""Qu'est-ce que vous en pensez?"" "Lyman..." "Scusi, cosa?" "I mean... "pourriez vous repeter la question, s'il vous plait?"" "Non." "Than ks." "I'll put your order right in." "How are you..." "Margie?" "Tonight." "Why Lyman, is that you starting a conversation?" "I'm very well." "My feet hurt." "But thank you for asking." "How are you?" "I feel... fine." "Hungry I guess." "I found a parrot." "Hmm." "You really think so?" "Yeah." "I think it means give some of what you have to the people with nothing." "It's good advice, nobody ever went wrong with that." "About the other things he said..." "You eat." "Lyman, you still at Margie's?" "Sure is." "We've got a jack-knifed rig flipped at the eldorado turnoff." "Ambulance is stuck downtown." "Copy that Tom, I'll put his dinner in the warmer." "Thanks Margie." "How you doing?" "Scorched my crotch with my damn coffee." "I think my leg's broke." "Emt's are on the way." "That your girlfriend?" "She's not my girlfriend." "Hello?" "Jeez, tell her I'm working." "Lyman?" "He's kinda busy right now, he's gonna have to call you right back." "Hold on... she says it's about the bird." "Hang up!" "I was right." "That thing the bird said, it's from the bible." "Really?" "She says the thing he said, it's from the bible." "Just hang up, man!" "It's kind of mystical and spiritual... and I don't know I think it's one very special bird." "Ma'am, you tell that bird to pray for me, will ya?" "I don't really know what it means, but I think it's important." "Lyman?" "For pete's sake." "Lyman, why would that man want the bird..." "Lyman?" "Who's Lyman?" "Oh it's uh..." "it's no one mom, uh, what's up?" "I know it's someone special when you whisper, Fiona Christina." "I'm a librarian." "I whisper." "No you don't." "Fiona, remember our little talk?" "No one unavailable this time?" "Where do you find them?" "Mom, I'm almost 30, you can stop raising me now you know." "Hey there." "It's from ecclesiastes, the old testament, after the" ""nothing new under the sun"" "and "everything has a season bit."" "Look. "Curse not the king, curse not the rich." "Fora bird of the air shall carry the word, and that which hath wings shall tell the matter."" "weird huh?" "That which hath wings shall tell the matter." "What does that mean?" "Well, it's about this preacher guy who decides that all is vanity, and since life is so short, we should eat, drink, be merry and enjoy god's gifts." "Lyman!" "Show some respect." "That is what bookmarks are for." "Lyman..." "Lyman... is that your first name or your last name?" "Last." "So what's your first name?" "Don't have one." "Everybody has a first name." "You can tell me, I won't laugh," "I promise." "They don't have first and last names in the bible." "Jesus of nazareth..." "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm..." "Lyman of the highway." "140 this is 190." "Tell the troopers to watch out for a red mustang tell the troopers to watch out for a red mustang going north towards decatur road." "Driving like he wants to kill himself." "I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat's been cut." "Evening, frank." "The usual, darlin'?" "Thanks, Margie." "You know anything about a '67 red mustang muscle ca you seen it around?" "A 427 cubic inch 390 horse engine?" "No haven't seen it." "Sure would love to though." "By the way, Fiona says to please call her." "She ran out of gas on the 599 tonight." "Nice girl." "My, she sure can talk." "Met Lyman's girl." "She's not my girl." "That's not what she says." "You keeping secrets, Lyman?" "Gotta go." "My ears are still bleeding." "Surprise!" "I don't like surprises." "Of course you do." "Everybody likes surprises." "Nope, not me." "Well, I was worried about you." "How did you know where I live?" "It's in the campus directory." "It's not an open invitation." "You didn't return my phone calls, so I came over." "You'd thank me if you were dead in the bathtub." "I don't even have a bathtub." "Why didn't you tell me you lived in a place like this?" "I've never told you lots of things." "Man, if I lived in a place like this, it would be the first thing that I'd tell." "Hey, do you ever go anywhere in it?" "It's my house." "I don't go places in it." "I come home to it." "I'll get it." "No it's okay, let me..." " He's very protective." " Jeez..." " No Floyd." " Let go!" "I wasn't attacking you the phone's ringing... let go, you stupid dog." "He is far from stupid." "Floyd, no." "How much do you weigh?" "Hello, Mr. Lyman's assistant speaking..." "I'm calling about the lost parrot." "70?" "'Scuse me... sorry." " Do you have my bird?" " Jeez, stop!" "Can you describe your bird for me?" "He's green with a spot of yellow on the back of his head... every parrot's green." "Hello?" "... let go!" "Does your bird say anything special?" "He says, "speak for self" and "shut up."" "sometimes "prepare to meet your maker."" "I guess breakfast's gonna have to wait." "Why do we have to have the heat on?" "It's gotta be like 100 degrees." "Non-t!" "Parrots are very susceptible to drafts." "You trying to get me to take my top off?" "Yes!" "I just love it when the losts match up with the founds." "It feels so right." "I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost Floyd." "Are you sure you want to do this?" "Are you sure you want to do this?" "Shut up!" "Hi." "Yeah, that's him." "Bring him on in." "Thank you for bringing him back, have a seat." "You can put him right there." "He's trouble is all he is." "I brought his things, his toys and..." "I never offered no reward." "No it's okay, I didn't expect anything." "I'm just happy he's... shut up... shut up!" "Jeez, I forgot how awful he is." "I was wondering, why did you teach him the things he says?" "Honey, I've had him for eight years and the only thing he learned in this house is "shut up"." "Between that dog and this bird, I'm like to lose my mind." "Then why did you answer the ad?" "He's worth a fortune." "People will pay seven or eight hundred bucks for a talking bird." "I'll give you a thousand dollars for him." "Well I'm not selling it now." "He keeps the dog company." "We'll take the dog, too." "Dog's not for sale." "But okay you got me, I'll take two thousand for the bird." "Two thousand?" "Are you kidding?" "No." "What are you doing?" "You write that check for a penny more than eight hundred dollars, and I will divorce you on the spot." "Fiona will you wait outside?" "Please?" "I mean it." "Don't push me." "I will take the kids to mom's." "I will take the kids to mom's." "You better have a good attorney." "All right all right... 900." "Ahem... ok, 800." "Ma'am, can I ask you where you got the bird from?" "Murray's retirement home." "They gave me the bird for free." "Where are you going?" "Congratulations, you own a parrot." "Were you actually going to pay that woman two thousand dollars?" "Are you one of those secret lottery millionaires who lives in a trailer?" "I don't gamble." "Why does that not surprise me?" "I need to find the real owner." "The wise man that taught him what to say." "It's not random." "It's no joke." "It's no joke." "Oh yes, that looks like shelton all right." "One of the lucky ones who got out of here alive." "Shelton?" "He was ruby Ballard's bird." "She died 12, 13 years back." "The family left him to the center." "We kept him in the lobby for a couple years." "Until his mouth got him kicked out." "Pre to meet your maker?" "Not what our residents want to hear over their morning oatmeal." "I can imagine." "Anyway, it has been a real pleasure, Mrs. Blair." "And if you would be so kind as to e-mail me your records on" "Mrs. Ballard's family." "Certainly, I'd be glad to." "I'm sure that the inheritance you spoke of will be a welcome surprise." "Here you go." "It says you work in a library." "Oh that's a cover, mrs." "Blair." "In our line of work, we can't be too careful." "Thank you so much for your cooperation." "You're welcome." "Inheritance?" "The parrot brought up a lot of questions for Lyman but those only created more questions." "He kept rolling ecclesiastes over and over in his head." "Race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor yet riches to men of understanding." "But time and chance happen to them all." "Wasn't that what he saw every night?" "Didn't it prove?" "Prove what?" "Anybody home?" "I brought a cage-warming present." "Hello there." "Polly want a... shut up." "I'm an eagle." "Wow." "He actually said it." "How come his lips don't move when he talks?" "Only when he reads." "Why thank you." "So, does he whistle much?" "First time." "Speak for yourself." "Lyman, don't forget, read and release." "When I'm finished, I'll release it back into the wild." "Where'd you get all this stuff?" "It's like living on an intersection." "People lose things, I pick them up." "What?" "I collect them." "You collect other people's trophies?" "I buy them, at garage sales and flea markets." "You're flawed... people collect all kinds of things." "Shows you can accomplish something." "Well, they obviously didn't mean very much to the people that won them." "Ok houdini, let's see you get out of that." "Hey, how come you have don't have any photos around?" "I don't take photos." "What about your family?" "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" "No." "What about your folks?" "Why are you asking me all this?" "I just asked about your parents." "Why does everything have to be such a big deal secret with you?" "It's not a big deal secret." "I was found by the side of the road when I was four." "What?" "Well, at least that's what they told me in all the foster homes." "You're an orphan?" "Jeez, I'm not an orphan anymore." "I'm own man." "You don't have anybody?" "Just me." "What's wrong?" "It's just normal for me." "I can't miss something I never had." "I just..." "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a family that was always ready for me to come home." "I have to go." "Hey, I'm the orphan, I'm not crying." "I have to go." "Sounds like you got a loose rod..." "Fiona, you need to get someone to look... what?" "Stay tuned." "Could you be more specific?" "A bird of the air shall carry the word." "You're serious?" "He has no family at all?" "You sure he just doesn't want you to meet them?" "How much do you know about him?" "Anything?" "No, but it's not like that." "He works for the highway department, that's nearly like the police." "Amber, don't give me that look." "Conditioner." "He's just socially challenged." "Although he has a strange birth date on his license, and he does talk about axe murderers." "Give some to the parrot." "Mmm... mmm mmm, good." "Campbell's commercial?" "Stay tuned." "Shelton?" "Shelly?" "Tim?" "Calvin?" "Grace?" "Walter?" "Joe?" "Hen ry?" "Billy?" "Campus security!" "You, under the car!" "Come out." "Now!" "Up." "Spread your legs and put your hands against the car." "This isn't what it looks like." "Whoa, hold on a minute." "Face forward please." "Lower your left hand, sir." "Is this your car?" "No, it's not." "That's my truck over there." "I work for the courtesy patrol, and... ow!" "Just answer the question, sir." "It belongs to someone I know... she's a librarian here... she's my.." "My... girlfriend." "You're going to steal your girlfriend's car?" "No." "You think I'd steal this piece of shit?" "All I know is what I saw... what's going on here?" "Do you know this man?" "He says he's your boyfriend." "Depends, what was he doing?" "He was prowling around, acting really suspicious." "Is this your car?" "Yes, sir." "Isn't she a beauty?" "I was just waiting for you honey, you didn't leave me the key." "You know how you always forget?" "Oh... yes." "You're right, they're both still here on the ring." "Silly me." "I'm so sorry, honey." "Would you drive, honey?" "It makes me feel so safe." "Thank you officer for being so vigilant." "There's no telling what kind of idiot pervert could be lurking out here in the night." "From what I hear, there are axe murderers everywhere." "It's unlocked." "So I'm your girlfriend now?" "I just said it to get rid of him." "Because I'm not your girlfriend." "Your car is a deathtrap." "You mean Sacajawea?" "Yeah." "Yeah, names are important." "After the indian scout." "She's a heroine of mine." "Why did you say I'm flawed?" "Intuition." "I'm flawed." "Everybody's flawed." "I'm sorry I said it." "I don't want to frighten anybody." "I was disappointed." "And then you were mean to Floyd, and I love Floyd." "And he could be your friend too if you didn't hate dogs so much." "Your intuition is just terrible." "I don't hate dogs." "Has mrs." "Blair called you about the parrot?" "I called and they said she was fired." "I've put ads in the paper and gone online," "I don't know." "Just don't bail on me, Fiona." "And I do like dogs," "I just haven't spent a lot of time around them lately." "I did some research on Ma 17." "I think it's a phone number from way back, like the 1930's." "But that would make the parrot 80 years old." "Parrots are like the giant tortoises of the bird world." "Whose number is it?" "I don't know." "All the old records are kept in the state library, archive stuff, for reference only." "Archive stuff, for reference only." "Hey, are you lost?" "Who is it, Floyd?" "You didn't even check to see who was there." "I could have been an axe murderer?" "Yeah, I know." "Come on in." "Just for a second, after the library" "I need to go home and sleep." "Lots of books." "Yeah, I buy them at yard sales." "Sometimes they're even in the "free" box." "I mend them and I pass them on." "Exciting hobby." "Well, it's not collecting other people's trophies but... those trophies would've been thrown away." "So would those books." "So would those books." "So, we gonna take Sacajawea?" "I wouldn't get in your car even if it was named mother teresa." "Fine, we'll take yours, Wigglebutt." "Where's your leash?" "He's not coming with us, is he?" "He's at home for nine hours while I'm at work." "He comes." "A seeing eye dog?" "He's so short he couldn't see over a curb." "This is embarrassing as hell." "It's the only way they'll let him in." "'cause he hates to miss out." "Stop that." "I took up Shelton's mystery, the least you could do is participate." "He doesn't answer to shelton." "He's yours now, you can name him." "He's not mine to name." "He's just the messenger." "So were just gonna keep calling him the parrot?" "I'll bet every time he sees you, he's thinking." ""Oh, there's the human."" "come on, "the canine."" "he's calling security." "I'm going to be handcuffed again." "Sit." "Good boy." "Hi Fiona, back again?" "Hi paul, just those old phone books and census records this time." "Funny." "You are so gullible." "I didn't know you could... mmhmm." "What did you say to make him look like that?" "I told him your nipples were orange." "They are not!" "It's not 1930." "It's not 1931 either." "Keep working forward." "Did he just bite you?" "No, I was just holding his ear and I felt a pulse." "Of course he has a pulse." "You are so weird, Lyman." "Do you have any sections on the bible?" "The "bible" bible?" "Yep." "Sure." "Follow me." "Ma 17." "I found it." "It was in the 1932 book." "It belonged to A.J. Campbell." "Than ks." "So we uh... just need to check the uh... current phonebooks for relatives." "I'm way ahead of you, dr." "Watson." "There are two pages of campbells and a whole column of j's, fifty at least." "That's ok." "I'll call them all." "No, that's ok." "Let me, you sleep all day." "Can you check these out?" "I don't have a library card here." "You're all alike." "What?" "Why are you acting so hostile towards me, out of nowhere?" "Can I get some service over here, please?" "You're always looking for something new, something different, something other than what's right in front of you." "Can I get a tiny hint of servility?" "Tough to handle these wild mood swings, huh?" "Here she comes." "Act like it never happened." "Here." "Be sure to return them." "Don't rip them, don't dog ear them, don't tear them, don't spill anything on them." "They're in my name." "I'm sorry, it's just a release, screaming in other peoples libraries." "Come on, Floyd." "Come on." "You love me... next time bring a pillow." "Ahhh!" "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" "You worthless piece of shit!" "You sorry ass piece of stinkin' garbage." "I hate you, you son of a bitch!" "Go ahead, shoot!" "You'd be doing me a favor." "I don't want to shoot you, sir." "Not me, you idiot." "Shoot the goddamn car!" "This... this damn car is killing me." "Shoot the car, please!" "Please!" "Yes!" "Oh yes," "Yes!" "Thank you." "Again!" "Yes." "Beautiful." "Now me." "No no, it's my gun." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you." "Yes!" "140, this is 190." "I've got a wreck at mile marker 92." "Send an ambulance." "Copy 190." "Hey buddy, come on." "Come on." "It's okay, it's okay." "I'm fine, I'm fine." "What are you doing here?" "I've been looking all over for you." "I've got a deadline." "I need to keep my head down." "Well, here." "Ms. blair from the home emailed." "It's charles Ballard's phone number." "Ruby's son." "Thanks." "You're amazing." "Were you hiding from me?" "No of course not, it's just quieter back here, that's all." "Well, somebody in this town knows you." "Hello, is this Mr. Charles ballard?" "Mr. Ballard?" "You the parrot fella?" "Prepare to meet your maker." "Momma believed since you never knew when you're really gonna go, it was best to keep a clear conscience." "That led to some pretty awkward conversations," "I tell ya." "Some things a son should never know." "When did you buy the bird, Mr. Ballard?" "We bought it for momma for company after daddy died in '79." "That's when she had the stroke and that's... when she and the bird went into Murray's home." "Do you remember who you bought it from?" "Yep, sure do." "He was being transferred out of state, so he couldn't take the bird with him." "I've got some information on him if you'd like." "I'll get it for you." "I think I found him here." "That's him." "Stowalski, Eli Stowalski." "Seen him ata screaming eagles reunion about four years ago." "Nice to see him after all those years?" "Naw, he was always a total asshole." "Hello, Mr. Stowalski?" "This may seem strange, but I'm calling about a bird." "It's the parrot you owned Mr. Stowalski, back in the 60's." "What?" "What are you talking about?" "That thing should have been dead years ago." "No, sir, it's him all right." "Mr. Ballard confirmed it." "Ballard?" "That asshole?" "What would he know?" "Did you teach him anything in particular, Mr. Stowalski?" "Who, ballard?" "No sir, the parrot." "I sure did." "I painted his head white with shoe polish, I was an instructor with the" "101st airborne, "screaming eagles" you know?" ""I'm an eagle."" "the boys in the flight ready room would rub his cage before flying, for luck." "Gave them some confidence, a feeling of self-worth you know." "Like we were all in it together." "Do you remember where you bought him from?" "From the paper." "Damn thing cost me 50 bucks, back when that was real money." "You recall when that was?" "Let me see." "I was just transferred..." "must've been early... june 1968." "That's all I know." "Good luck." "Thank you." "Asshole." ""Screaming eagles", huh?" "I'm an eagle!" "No one is home." "Please leave a message." "Hi." "I'm not sure if this is the right number, but I'm calling about a parrot you sold." "In the 60's." "Anyway, I own it now and..." "I'd appreciate it if you could call me back." "Eh... 555-0115." "My name is Lyman." "L-Y-M-A-N." "Thank you." "Prepare to meet your maker." "Parrots thrive on contact, feather plucking is often associated with loneliness." "Have you thought about getting him a mate?" "No, this guy's pretty ancient." "Sex would probably pop his heart like a balloon." "Well I don't know about you, but I'd say it's a better way to go than dying bald and alone." "Why do you do that?" "You didn't look through the peep hole." "It's none of your business how I open my door." "It's just not safe, that's all." "Just because I'm not afraid of my shadow is no reason for... hey, is everything okay here?" "Yeah thanks john, everything's fine." "What, Sacajawea break down again?" "Cause I can give you a ride... oh no she's great, but I would love a ride in your new car some time." "Yeah, sure thing babe." "I can give you a ride any time you want." "That's avery unsafe color." "You're a very unacceptable person." "He just got a promotion, and he bought a car he's wanted for years." "Did you see that tie, puking out of the collar of his shirt?" "Oh who made you the fashion police?" "I came to apologize." "I should have told you I was there." "I'd just been given all this homework I'd missed and..." "I brought a present." "I hate all that flowers of forgiveness crap." "It's for your dog." "It's got... it's got these reflective stu ds on it." "Just like you." "His name is Floyd, and just because he accepts your gift, doesn't mean that I forgive you." "In that case, would you go out with me?" "How about you?" "I can't." "Remember?" "Our schedules are so opposite." "It would either have to be early in the morning, or really late at night." "Then come to work with me." "Tonight?" "I'll pick you up." "But Floyd can't come." "He sleeps a lot anyway." "Are you serious?" "I can come?" "God, that is so cool!" "Floyd, get your butt in here." "Change into this," "I'll be back at 9." "Roger that." "And don't bend the visor on the cap," "I like it the way it is." "Howdy." "Deputy courtesy patrol officer James reporting for duty." "Do I have to wear this sleeping bag?" "It is so not my color." "Ok." "From now on, you do exactly what I tell you, or the free ride is over." " Got it?" " Got it." "You don't get out of the truck, roll down the window, or touch anything unless I say?" "Sir yes, sir." "And if I tell you to do something, you do it immediately." "You don't ask why." "You just do it." "It's for your own safety." "It's for your own safety." "Understood?" "Understood." "Ok." "Now scoot across the seat and kiss me." "Oh, my god, it's you again." "Sorry." "It might help if you turned off your light bar while you make out." "You're supposed to wear clothes under the jumpsuit." "I've got clothes on." "What clothes?" "My underwear." "What kind of underwear?" "Just wondering... well continue wondering." "Did you know you have more college credits than I do?" "I looked you up." "You've taken every utilitarian course offered over the past ten years." "Every fix-it, lifesaving, plumbing, woodworking, italian, chinese, self-defense, and yet no degree?" "I take courses to learn stuff." "Well if you'd taken some literature or philosophy courses, you'd understand the parrot." "I don't need a formal education to understand the obvious." "Oh, really?" "Tell me what's so obvious..." ""shut up."" "No, you shut up!" "No, "shut up."" "It's the first thing the bird said, which means en and stop talking long enough to understand the rest." "You okay?" "You've gotta be careful, that truck must have been going at least ninety." "Okay, "stay tuned"..." "be alert in case of danger." "Ak for yourself..." "make up your own mind." "Be an independent thinker." "Next," "I'm an eagle." "That just feel good to say it." "I'm an eagle." "Yeah, feels good." "I like to say "I'm a Tyrannosaurus Rex."" "come on, try it with me." "Uh-oh, work." "Stay here." "What seems to be the problem?" "I couldn't fix my car if I had to." "The internal combustion engine is all cause and effect." "Anyone can understand it, then fix it." "As opposed to people?" "Well, they're not so easy to fix." "What is that supposed to mean?" "Relationships... they don't last, they all break in the end." "That's fairly pessimistic." "I'm being honest." "Take you, for instance." "You've lived in what, a half a dozen cities since you left school, with a whole string of temporary friendships." "Then you move on." "I have friends and family all over the country." "What about you?" "Have you ever crossed the state line?" "It's not like I've got family to visit." "Ok." "I was engaged once, but he wouldn't set a date." "Then I found out he was already married." "No one else ever came close." "Maybe they don't all last Lyman, but like they say, doesn't mean the fall wasn't worth the ride." "You know, you could pick your own first name." "I never found a name that seemed right." "I guess my mom wasn't one for sewing on name-tags." "But what about your birthday?" "When do you have your party?" "It's not important." "Take this exit." "Make a right." "I want to show you something." "Your parents checked in here." "No previous address." "And then in a moment, they were taken, and you continued." "After the accident, they couldn't be traced." "No next-of-kin, and you couldn't remember anything." "Missing persons turned up nothing." "I chased every lead, blood types, car registration, every receipt." "I just kept thinking that there must have been somebody out there who would have missed them." "Code of the west, rule number one, "don't inquire into a man's"" ""past." don't you read those books you pass around?" "Rule number two," ""take the measure of a man for what he is today."" "you're right." "I'm sorry." "Do you hate my guts now?" "Yeah I do hate your guts, but I sure like the bag they come in." "Come on, lets eat." "I understand about Ma 17 and some of the rest, but then there is the bible stuff." "The "prepare to meet your maker", you never know when your number is up." "Don't have regrets." "The ecclesiastes thing makes sense... yep, eat drink and be merry." "I'm all for that." "It's very optimistic." "It is not." "I'm prepared, and you just keep your fingers crossed." "You think the parrot makes sense, but there are some things you are never going to learn." "You don't understand life like I don't understand how to fix a car." "It's all just one big tangle under the hood." "I think some women believe that a man is born the moment they meet him." "Now what'll you you have?" "Why thank you, Lyman." ""T builder of men."" "well, I do my best." "Margie, this is Fiona." "I heard about you." "Is my Lyman sweet on you, honey?" "I think it's the way that I dress." "Thank you Lyman, for bringing her by." "I approve." "They were talking so hard, like there was a fire somewhere and only their words could put it out." "I could tell just by the sound, seemed like Lyman was finally getting closer to an answer." "I left them alone." "I decided dinner was on me that night." "How many campbells have you called?" "I'm still trying." "I have dozens left." "Some of these people just talk and talk and talk, and" "I can't get them off the phone." "What?" "Cheese stuck on your teeth." "Toast crumbs at the corners of your mouth." "Butter on your lips." "Want to go fishing?" "Oh Lyman, you say the sweetest things." "It takes a few seconds to reach bottom, but it comes up quick." "I've found hubcaps, cans, tools." "Once I found a set of braces, with a tooth in it." "Wow Lyman, that's the mother load." "Now we can retire, and live happily ever after." "Maybe one day I'll solve a great mystery." "The crime of the century." "Until then I just fish for clues." "Fiona?" "Happy birthday..." "Mr. Lyman." "What?" "I couldn't bear the thought of you never having birthdays." "But I don't know what the date is." "So I figured someone better pick a date, and I say it's today." "Unless you can prove me wrong." "I declare this the thirty something birthday of baby boy Lyman." "It's around now that you blow out the candle before I'm horribly disfigured by molten wax?" "There." "You're no longer a birthday cake virgin." "If you're looking for something french and lacy, you uh... you got the wrong girl." "I uh..." "I don't think I'll be talking anymore from here on out." "You're perfect..." "Sshhhhhh..." "What was that?" "They hit a goddamn dog." "Stay here." "Is it going to be okay?" "Lyman?" "What are you doing?" "Oh god, please no." "Just stay in the truck, Fiona!" "Lyman, we can take it to the vet." "Lyman, please listen to me!" "Lyman, please!" "Lyman, no!" "Fiona, there was no saving it." "How can you bear to do this?" "I've never had to share it with anyone." "I don't want to share that." "Give some to the parrot." "Just you and me now, buddy." "From now on, thou shalt be called..." ""zane"." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Can I speak to Mr. Lyman please?" "Speaking." "This is mrs." "Weber." "I'm returning your call about the parrot." "Come on in, one more won't make a difference." "Jesus Christ, it's him." "I don't believe it, he's still alive." "Yep." "That awful bird." "Mr. Lyman, this is my husband duncan." "Oh, he's a sight for sore eyes." "Kids, this is old tonto." "My dear friend from back in the olden days when I was your age, henry." "I'm Billie." "Dad always talked about his parrot like he was human." "Sue." "We didn't know what to believe." "Tonto was my best friend." "We used to listen to the lone ranger on the radio every week." "He could mimic all of the theme music." "Does he still say "Hi-ho silver away?"" "Does he still say "Hi-ho silver away?"" "No." "Oh." "I thought he was the smartest, funniest thing in the world." "That was before he met me, of course." "I was an only child." "This bird got me a lot of friends at school." "He could do tricks, he was like a one man circus." "Why did you sell him, Mr. Weber?" "Because I didn't want him around the children." "I thought they carried diseases." "That's not why you wanted him out, ella." "It was the green-eyed monster, jealousy." "She loves me more than life itself." "She couldn't bare to share me with anyone." "Well if you can find anyone who'll take you now, they're welcome to you." "He must have been pretty rare back then, did he come from a pet store?" "Oh no, from a neighbor, mrs." "Hall." "She had a son michael, back then we called retarded." "Dad I told you, you can't say that." "...challenged, yes." "Challenged." "The kid learned to speak by mimicking the bird." "Do you know where the halls got him?" "Oh sorry no," "I never asked, and they're long dead now." "Ma 17!" "Ma 17!" "Ma 17!" "It must have been hard giving him up, Mr. Weber." "Yeah, but look what I got in exchange." "A world of family." "The bird got me through my childhood, ella got me through the rest of it." "Thanks for bringing him by, son." "I hope you find what you're looking for." "The number you dialed has been changed, disconnected or is no longer in service." "If you feel you have reached this... prepare to meet your maker!" "190 here." "Mile marker 83." "Driver's out of his car." "He looks drunk." "Send the troopers." "190, roger." "Why'd he want you to shoot his car?" "He was tired of it." "Gee, I'm tired of my boss... why do you work the night shift?" "Because my husband does too." "It's the only way we can be together, have a life." "Aren't the people who are out at night strange?" "Don't you get tired of it?" "I like my job." "I like the people who come in at night." "My regulars." "You thinking of qu1tl'ing the courtesy patrol?" "12 years." "You've been at it for so long." "Cars don't break down as often, but, people need me as much as ever." "I don't know, 1t just doesn't seem to mean much anymore." "You'll find it again, like your parrot." "Being lost is only temporary." "Hi." "Well Floyd can come in too." "He's fine where he is." "This is for you." "And I need the library books, they're overdue." "Sorry, I forgot." "Sorry, I forgot." "I'll pay the fines." "Than ks." "I call him zane now." "I named him." "That's good, Lyman." "I'm happy for you." "Well I called you, your number was disconnected and I came by... yeah, I've been really busy, getting ready to leave." "I found another library that needs me." "So... you're leaving?" "I thought I'd spend some time with my family." "Fiona, you know there wasn't anything else" "I could do for that dog." "She was suffering..." "I know that, Lyman." "I know that." "It was all just a bit too stark for me." "I felt like that dog was a part of me or something." "But I can't think of you out there, every night with all of that... so umm..." "I have something for you." "A going away present." "Ivy campbell, daughter of jack campbell from the 1930 census." "There's no phone number but there's an address." "If you'd just stay we..." "I've never been able to stay." "Maybe I don't want to believe what you believe." "Maybe I don't want to know what you know." "I have to leave." "I knew you couldn't take it." "So you were trying to sabotage us?" "Is that why you let me go with you?" "Oh, I'm not the one running away." "You'll never get anywhere in this piece of tin." "You've got romance novels for auto sense." "Your right back-up light is out, your tire treads are shot, you need an engine overhaul." "God only knows what condition your brakes are in." "If you head out onto the highway without knowing where the jack is, you'll end up stranded in the middle of the desert or on top of some mountain or... yes Lyman, but people like you, and they are few and far" "between, they always seem to show up." "Good-bye." "Excuse me, I'm sorry to drop by like this." "Does ivy campbell live here?" "I don't want any insurance." "I'm going to die whether I've got it or not." "I'm here about this parrot." "I believe your father owned him?" "Mr. Roosevelt?" "But how could that be?" "I gave him away in the 50's to a woman named emma cowen." "She'd lost a baby, so I gave her Mr. Roosevelt to keep her spirits up." "She had him until she had her next child, then she gave him to a slow fella." "Mike hall." "Yes." "And I lost track from there." "He still says your phone number from when you lived on summit drive." "Ma17?" "That was our phone number?" "He's got a better memory than I do." "Who's bird was he?" "My father's." "He was killed in the war." "Was he a religious man?" "I don't think so." "Mother gave him a bible before he left." "Father said he might not read it, but he would keep it in his breast pocket to protect him from a well-aimed bullet." "What he worshipped was this country." "Then who taught him the bible verse... 'a bird of the air shall carry the word?" "' why, he came to us saying that." "Do you know where your father got him?" "Mother said that he bought Mr. Roosevelt from a band of gypsies that were passing through." "What does it matter Mr. Lyman?" "I've gone as far as I can go." "I don't know where to go next." "You go forward, Mr. Lyman." "Forward." "We met at the beginning and the end of long lives." "Goodbye Mr. Roosevelt." "Ooh..." "I woke up and the heat had gone down." "I forgot to refill the propane tank." "It's all my fault." "He's a tropical bird." "He couldn't stand the freeze." "Just be prepared, Lyman." "He's an old bird." "This might be his time." "Hello?" "Lyman, I know you're taking some time off, but there's been a black ice pile-up on the west street bridge." "Fiona was one of the people involved." "Move!" "Get out of the way!" "No!" "Floyd!" "No Floyd!" "Floyd!" "Nooo!" "And next of kin?" "No." "None." "I need your accident report." "Hi daddy." "It sucks." "Mom, I need to come home again." "Right there." "And I thought he couldn't stand Floyd." "No, he just couldn't let himself get too close to a live dog, that's all." "Stay tuned!" "You are one lucky parrot." "Tornado!" "Tornado!" "Tornado!" "What?" "Zane?" "Lyman, I'm taking you with me." "I want to give you my family." "You can't work a while anyway and I have a few weeks until my next job, so I thought we could look out for each other." "And you can finally see some of the rest of the planet." "You were out cold for a week." "Then you started telling me about gypsies." "Me and half the hospital staff." "They finally let me take you this morning." "I'll stop, if you want to turn around." "Call me on channel 9." "In this state, it is against the law to haul a trailer with someone in it." "Unless, you've got a special license." "Frank and Neil and Tom helped, and don't worry, it all passed inspection." "Why didn't you ask me?" "Well you've been on pain killers." "Plus I didn't trust you to make the break." "You're unreliable when it comes to your own interests." "I still get confused." "Tell me again... oh well, when you threw him to me I caught him, but then I stuck my finger in his eye." "He'll get better too." "Fiona, I've never been outside the county line." "Not in my whole life." "Just wait till you see the atlantic ocean." "Fiona... and you know what else?" "I got a tool belt to snap onto your wheelchair, just in case." "We're prepared." "What the heck... let's go." "Surprise me."