"You better start taping now." "Otherwise our superstar will be mad." "Yes, manager." "Ready, V-T-R, stand by, roll." "5 seconds, 5,4,3,2,1, cue." ""I often don't have much in my pocket."" ""Caring nothing, I'm as free as a rocket."" ""As long as I'm fairly fed."" ""I stay optimistic and seldom fret."" ""Don't despise he who gets tired of his girls."" ""For love and mirages spin off from the same whirls."" "Keep your shoulders leveled." "Leave me alone." "Blow it this time and you'll be fired." "Just watch it yourself." ""So help yourself to a cold beer."" ""Sing your heart out in a song that cheers."" ""To hell with your regret over past affairs."" ""They'll only depress you and that isn't fair."" ""It is my suspicion that in this universe."" ""There's a god who governs the land we traverse."" ""See through life's joys and blues."" ""And take it easy even though you lose."" "Who's that?" ""So help yourself to a cold beer."" ""Sing your heart out in a song that cheers."" ""To hell with your regret over past affairs."" ""They'll only depress you and that isn't fair."" ""It is my suspicion that in this universe."" ""There's a god who governs the land we traverse."" ""See through life's joys and blues."" ""And take it easy even though you lose."" ""See through life's joys and blues."" ""And take it easy even though you lose."" "I'm quitting." "Sorry, let's do it once more." "Stop fighting." "It's you again, Johnny, take his place." "Have a cigarette." "Stand by for another take." "It's been a year and you haven't used me." "Give me a break." "I need someone to play the archer's target." "Manager." "Who should I send?" "Anyone volunteers?" "Let me have a try." "You?" "Come out here." "Reserve such jobs for me in the future." "Get changed right away." " The archer's target, right?" "Right." "Thanks for the opportunity." "You can kill someone like that." "You can kill someone." "I'll sure be a dead man." "What'd you like to drink?" " Coca-cola." " Brandy." "They're pretty good." "Wonderful." "The 2 gentlemen at the back." "Will you hold up the flowers please?" "Like this?" " See you at 9 tomorrow." " What?" "Tomorrow at 9." " What time?" " Tomorrow at 9." "Hold it up." "Higher." "Thanks." "My sister and I can't make ends meet lately." "So we'd like to pick some pockets." "Will someone come up and help us?" "Will... that gentleman help me?" "That gentleman, come up please." "I won't." "This gentleman, come up please." "Come on, go up." "Welcome and thank you." " What's your name, sir?" " Kwang." "Mr. Kwang, what time is it now?" "Is this your watch?" "Yes, that was fast." "Have you brought your wallet with you?" "No, I haven't." "But I have $1,000 tied with a rubber band." "See if they're still there." "Relax, I've got them back for you already." "Rubber band." "Where's the money?" "See if they are in the pocket." " No." " No?" "This looks like your tie." "It is." "You're really good." "Are you wearing white socks today?" "No, I always wear black socks." "Are those yours?" "Yes, they are." "Thank you, thank you." "You don't want your $1,000 anymore?" "Of course I do." "Thank you, use more rubber bands next time." "Guru." "Have you been waiting long?" "It's almost been three hours." "About the money, I..." "Shih-chieh, you just come from Singapore." "I found you this nice job." "I deserve your first three months' pay." "I know, but I have to buy a lot of props." "I don't care." "I'll take these first." "If you don't pay me the rest tomorrow." "You better start packing up." "The door's over there." "You picked his pocket." "He'll kill you for that." "We have a mother to support." "Mail her the money today." "Guess who I am." "You have to be you." "All right." "I had a dream last night." "What kind of dream?" "I was dancing "Hustle" with someone underwater." "That person wasn't me." " Why not?" " I can't swim." "Stop being jealous over a dream." "How's it coming, inventor?" "Magician." "What is this?" "Teach me a trick and I'll tell you." "Watch." "That's nice." "It's yours." "Frog, what's that?" "My latest anti-thief device." "If a thief walks past this detector." "The laughing bomb inside will be triggered off." "And he'll laugh himself to death." "You can't catch thief with that." "This is my brother Chin-wen." "He's sad because he's out of work." "Go inside and fix yourself a drink." "I'll do that." "You'll pay for this." "That's a nice device." "It has a remote control." "Where's The remote control?" "Where's my laughing bomb?" "I put it in the robber's bag." "How do you work this?" "Is this The police?" "A bank's been robbed." "Where are the robbers?" "They should be at Oxford Road." "What are they doing?" "They're laughing." "Let's go take a look." "What's going on, officer?" "Evolution must have been gathering speed." "There are a lot we don't understand." "Yes, only God does." "May be." "You're pretty good." "Mr. Kwang is here." "Send him in." "Look, Mr. Kwang." "These are last month's ratings." "These are this month's." "We dropped by 1 million since you come." "You should know what to do." "Hear me out first." "There's no need for explanation." "What do our board of directors say?" " Guess how long will it take." " 6 second." " You lose." " I lose." " 2.4 second." " Yes." "Let me introduce our new manager." "Tell Miss Wang to come in." "I made Miss Wang quit TVC to work for us." "Her achievements need no introduction." "Her white hair tells it all." "Miss Wang, what can you do to our ratings?" "5 million, that's slendid." "What policy will you adopt?" "Whoever obeys me survives." "What are you doing?" "Oh, 2 files were hit." "Hit right of their navels too." "Is this called Operation Iron first?" "I wish Miss Wang every success." "Let me give you our ring of honour." ""Before you are born you first see God."" ""Who will brief you on..."" "Next, Mr. Yeh." ""Before you are born you first see God."" ""Who will brief you on proprieties."" "Cut." "Next, Miss Li." "I know you wouldn't make it." "Your voice is bad and you sing like a hound." "Do you have a good voice?" "I'm as good as Elvis Presley." "That's fate, you can't do anything about." "But that's not fair." "Equality does not exist." "Otherwise why was I born handsomer than you?" "There's nothing you can do." "Chih-wen." "Play the cue music longer." ""Before you..."" "Cut, no good." "Next, Mimi." "Mimi." "Play it again." ""Before..."" "I just finished three words." "Enough to tell you're no good." "That's fate, my friend." "Go to hell." "Have you been waiting long, Guru?" "Quits." "I'll pay you half of your commission now." "And the rest on pay day." "Where are my pigeons?" "Ling, where are the pigeons?" "Could they have flown away?" "My pigeons were bought from Java." "They can't be bought here." "I know, but I didn't got paid yesterday." "I'll eat you if you don't pay me." "Let's go." "You're finished in Hong Kong." "They should each weight over 1-lb." "When shall we eat them?" "On mother's birthday." "Come and have some congee." "Congee?" "Give me a button." "Come on, one more." "I invented a Feel-surround television set." "Help me to get a job in the TV station." "What's a Feel-surround television set?" "Let me give you a demonstration." "See, clap once to turn it on." "One more to change station." "Twice to turn it off." "It works better than a remote control." "Do I look like Tom Edison?" "There's one resemblance." "What's that?" "You are both deaf." "Just don't make the other ear deaf." "Come and have some congee." "We're coming." "Are you on any of this week's programs?" "Look at this table, 4:30 tomorrow." "To be the archer's target again?" "Don't say that, one's lucky to have a part." "What are you doing?" "It's been cancelled." "The poor kid's been on for only once." "Hello, Chen?" "What's the good news?" "Hold on." "TVC's Chen is looking for a host for a show." "Are you interested in an audition?" "I'll talk to him." "Hosting a show is my speciality." "Have you done it before?" "Of course, my father worked for 7 stations." "He's that good?" "His son can't be bad, right?" "What was your father's job?" "He sold tissues at restrooms." "Splendid, tomorrow 4:30 then." "Thanks for the opportunity." "Chen wanted me to host one of his shows." "Look." "It's finished." "I didn't tell you to clap that much." "Now I know why you're like Edison?" " Why?" " You both have disasters often." "What's this now?" "Double strength glue." "Why did you put it there?" "What glue is this?" "Super double strength glue." "It has to be washed off within 5 seconds." "Should I eat your congee for you?" "Where's that stupid Frog?" "Have you gone crazy too?" "What's he doing?" "He just had one gulp of your congee." "And he's gone crazy." "You want to eat raw Groupers?" "How can on air such a show?" "Shows have to be ridiculous to attract audience." "Our rating for this month have been low." "Our manager is counting on this show." "He may kill himself if it doesn't work." "But it's really to ridiculous." "Will you do it or not?" "I guess I will." "Ladies and gentlemen, it's showdown time." "Our first lucky guest, Mrs. Li." "Me?" "Watch me." "Congratulations, Mrs. Li." "We hope showdown will make you a millionaire." "Oh, you brought your dog along?" "Dolly is like a son to me." "I have to sleep with it every night." "What a pretty dog!" "Where does your husband sleep then?" "He sleeps with his oxygen tank." "He's some husband, coming along despite his illness." "There are two boxes over there." "One is empty, the other has a $500,000 cheque." "You can choose one if you answer correctly." "Let's see if Mrs. Li can answer correctly." "And got that cheque of $500,000." "Who is the Governor of Hong Kong?" "Some hints please." "Mac..." "MacDonald." "No." "Some more hints please." "Choose one of these answers." "Is it MacLehose or MacArthur?" "Is it MacLehose." "Mrs. Li is so intelligent." "Now you can choose one of these two boxes." "Let's see what you get." "Oh, my God." "I want to buy your bracelet." "With this gift of a possible $500,000." "But my bracelet was part of my dower." "Think carefully, you want your bracelet?" "Or do you want a possible $500,000." "You have to decide right away." "Are you going for it?" "Mrs. Li is so courageous." "Let's see what Mrs. Li gets?" "Oh my God, it really is empty." "Except for a cheque of $500,000." "I got $500,000!" "There are two more boxes over there." "One has a 5 million cheque inside it." "If you want to go for it, give me back your cheque." "Are you going for it?" " Yes." " Choose a box." "Let me see." "Oh my God." "Let me use this possible 5 million." "To trade for your dog's life." "We have a gas chamber over there." "We'll kill the dog if you want to trade." "Make your decision right away." "Your dog or money?" "I can have another dog." "Money!" "Money?" "Good." "Let's see what's inside." "It really is a cheque for five million." "Mrs. Li, please look behind you." "There are two more boxes." "One has a lease for an Arabian oil field." "It worth 5 million." "More?" "Let me see." "Any more?" "50 million, any more?" "500 million, any more?" "Oh my God, that's the jackpot." "See if you want to go for it." "Give me back your cheque if you do." "Are you going for it?" "I'm going all the way." "Then go pick a box." "Let's both not look inside." "I want to trade something of yours." " What will that be?" " Come over here please." "I want to buy your husband's life." "If you want to own the oil field." "We'll cut off the oxygen supply." "Now make up your mind." "The oil field or your husband?" "Think it over carefully." "Do you want to stay poor all your life?" "Or do you want to be a wealthy widow?" "What do you think?" "Husband or oil field?" "I'd rather be a wealthy widow." "Let's see what your husband's life is worth." "Oh my God." "It's a bottle of Arabian oyster sauce." "I think you're a very good MC." "I've known that for a long time." "But our program director..." "Doesn't recognize talent." "That's right." "I want to sign a contract with you." "If you work for us." "You'll be a superstar within a month." "A superstar?" "Have a cigar and think it over." "But I have an eight year contract with MTV." "Can't you dissolve the contract?" "I'll do that right away." "I'll wait for you." "That's right." "What do you want?" "I want to see the manager." "Follow me." "A magician from Singapore." "Is this your first time in Hong Kong?" "Yes." "I can let you have a try." "Sign this eight year contract." "But it's a blank paper." "Sign your names and I'll fill in the rest." "I can't sign a contract like that." "Suit yourself, magicians are a dime a dozen." "I need only to run an ad in the newspaper." "And they'll come in hundreds." "What do you want?" "I want to see the manager." "Wait here." "I have to support my mother and 2 Groupers." "Get in." "Thank you." "Miss Wang." "What's it?" "I signed an 8 years contract with this station." "It's been over a year now." "I haven't done anything yet." "I can't see any prospect for myself." "I have a mother and a brother." "And 2 Groupers that eat shrimps." "What do you think you can do?" "I'm good at dancing and singing." "I've had the pleasure already." "I'm sure I can be a top host for shows." "Show me." "This is the microphone." " Ladies and Gentlemen." " Horrible... horrible..." "You know parrots don't lie." "Why don't we dissolve the contract?" "TVC's manager talked to me yesterday." "What's your name?" "Chih-wan." "Is this your signature?" "As long as your contract is in my hands." "Your future and freedom are in my hands too." "You do whatever I want you to." "Stop dreaming of working for other stations." "Hello, hold on." "Miss Wang." "Hello." "He'll be fired if he walks near TVC." "Or even TVC's car." "Can you open it?" "I'm sure you can open it." "With your skill and combination known." "You have to be bale to open it, right?" "Open what?" "The safe." "Whose safe?" "Of course it is..." "My safe." "It's your safe and you want me to open it?" "The dial numbers are too complicated." "Really?" "You just behave yourself." "I'm sorry." "Can you open it?" "It can be done." "But breaking in someone's safe." "Can get me several years in jail." "But if you help me get my contract." "I can work for TVC." "With my talents, I'll soon be a superstar." "Then I can help you with your..." "What's your machine called?" "Feel-surround television." "Right, I'll promote it all over the world." "And the world have four inventors." "Albert Einstein." "He's not as young as you." "Issac Newton, he's dead." "Your idol Thomas Edison." "He's not as handsome as you." "And..." "Frog." "That's right." "If you don't help me, you'll sit here." "Guess what you'll become." "What?" "A 'pig's brain'." "But everybody in the station knows you." "How can you get away with it?" "I'll figure it out." " What's that?" " Laughing bomb." "What do we need that for?" "It can be a lifesaver at emergencies." "Your man's clothes are inside." "So you can change anytime." "Hurry." "Over here." "It's down below." "A great scientist should be courageous." "Right, Edison?" "Are you sure nobody is there?" "Of course, it's lunch time." "Go down, hurry." "Every window's locked, how can we get in?" "This building was badly built." "So?" "Everything's broken." "Watch." "There goes another window frame." "Is there any more beer?" "Yes." " Is there any beer?" " Sure." "Don't be scared." "Grab my hand." "I can't." "Are you all right?" " I'm thirsty." " Why?" "I urinated thrice." "Get up first." "Move the table back first." "How many safes have you opened before?" "Including this one?" "Yes." "One." "What's the combination?" "12, 8, 6, 25, 24, 42." "Aren't you afraid of finger-prints?" "Should I use my toes?" "That's worse." "Why?" "Toe-prints are bigger." "But the police don't have toe-prints records." "If that's true." "Every thief in town would have used his toes." "That's why they haven't been caught." "Otherwise you think the police are stupid?" "Stop mumbling, hurry." "I got it." "Get them all out first." "Save other people as well." "That's right." "Thief... thief... thief." "The safe... the safe..." "Stupid parrot." "Frog, are you coming out?" "Frog, are you all right?" "Frog, are you all right?" "Frog, are you all right?" "Can you come out?" "It has to be opened from outside." "What's the combination?" "How can I remember?" "Where's that card?" "Where's that card?" "It's with me." "What are the numbers?" "I can't see, it's dark here." "Oh my God." "Don't you have a lighter?" "What's the combination?" "What's happening?" "It's out of gas." "Got it." "What are the numbers?" "Twelve." " The next one?" " Eight." " Go on!" " Twenty-four." "The next one?" "Frog, what are you doing?" "I burnt the papers." "Hold your breathe temporarily." "Don't breathe, Wait, Oh God." "God, what have I done to deserve this?" "Does God have horns?" "You can't even tell God from Devil." "Who are you?" "What are you stealing?" "Nothing." "What's that bundle?" "Toilet papers." "That thick a bundle?" "I have hemorrhoids." "Let me see them." "Hit him." "Help." "Trying to get away?" "Do you know how to drive?" "Don't you go away." "Miss, you..." "It's a pipe, the high heel shoe is over there." "Thanks." "It's a high heel shoe." "There's the men's room." "I don't have to go anymore." "That's strange." "Raymond." "Go over this list please." "Thank you." "What are you doing?" "Dirty old man." "Thank you." "My sister and I have to make ends meet lately." "So I want to pick some pockets." "Will anyone come up for some fun?" "Who wants to come up?" "That gentleman?" "Welcome..." "Come up please." "Don't be shy." "Welcome..." "What's your name, sir?" "Huang!" "What time is it now?" "Forgot to wear your watch?" "See if it's in your pocket." "You must have left it at home." "I didn't." "Is this your necklace?" "It's a woman's." "This watch is yours too." "It's a lady's again." "Unisex is the fashion these days." "That's why your're wearing panty hoses." "You're pretty fashionable, Mr. Huang." "This scarf is yours too." "It's green, are you using it for turban?" "You still have an important item with me." "Is this your beard?" "Hey, you forgot something." "Ladies and gentlemen, life is like magic." "Often what you see are illusions." "You've just seen I put my sister in the safe." "Actually..." "There's a tunnel, it's easy." "Are you trying to kill me?" "You can kill a man like that." "I got a flat tire." "A flat tire?" "He's Frog's brother, but why in a beard?" "Someone must be after him." "But why?" "How do I know?" "You had a beard and now you're dirty." "What are you up to?" "Are you coming for these?" "Aren't you good at opening safes?" "You want to steal something?" " I want to save a man." " Who?" " Frog." " Frog?" "We want to steal my contract." "He's locked in a safe." "How's he now?" "He may have been suffocated." "That's why you're being chased?" "Why do you want to steal your contract?" "You suffer if you're under a contract." "I know, I've been under contracts before." "Can you help me to open that safe?" "And get Frog out?" "You almost got me fired a while ago." "Now you want me to go to jail?" "You're crazy." "Shih-chieh." " Shih-chieh." " Don't be sentimental." "I have to do it myself then." "He doesn't know how to open safes." "Help him or he'll be dead." "Shih-chieh." "This is what's left of Frog, take it." "I'm going now." "Shih-chieh." "Stay out of it." "Call him back." "I haven't gone yet." "I'll go with you." "They'll grah you if you go like this." "What should I do?" "Go in." " What for?" " Go in first." "What for?" "So you won't be dancing by yourself in your dreams." "Miss." "You watch here." "It's down below." "Over here." "Frog... answer me, Frog." "May be he's dead." "Let me." "Frog... what's happened to you?" "King Kong, wait!" "Surrender your contracts." "And I'll let you and your brother go." "Otherwise you'll be like this parrot." "Whatever you say." "Go after him." "Are you all right?" "Sure, don't you know I have a strong skull?" " Sorry!" " Are you blind or something?" "What are you doing?" "Do me a favour, keep quiet." "But what's going on." "Stop beating each other." "And now the Magic Saw." "Is that his student?" "May be." "Tonight we are sawing a man instead of a woman." "Be careful." "You deserve this." "My student cannot appear again because he's dead." "Only I can do shows like that." "And now..." "Let's see if he can resurrect." "The student is better than the teacher." "The student is better than the teacher." "Let's see who's better." "What time is it?" "Is this your watch?" "My watch isn't accurate, what time do you have?" "Is this your watch?" "Not bad, simple tricks though." "Is this your wallet?" "See if anything is missing." "Talking about pickpocketing, I'm..." "Is this identity card yours?" "This looks like yours too." "I know, wonderful performances, I'm watching." "Hold on." "Are these your shoes?" "Are these your pants?" "That student is good." "And now words from our sponsors." "Cousin." "Cousin." "Will you wait for me?" "Until death." "What's up?" "What's going on?" " Hua, a call for you." " Thanks." "How did he get in?" "I don't know, should I chase him out?" "You can't, it's a live show." "Oh my God." "Mr. Chairman." "I don't think he's that good." "Why do the audience like him so much?" "You know why your programs are always so bad." "Because you can't tell good from bad." "Send Miss Wang in." "This was what you promised us." "And this is this month's ratings." "We dropped by four million." "What do the board of directors say?" "Miss Wang, you should know what to do." "That was pretty fast." "2.3 seconds." "What time is the fight?" "4:30 p.m." "Hurry, the newcomers will move in at two." "Hurry!" "Pardon my intrusion." "Are you all right?" "Sure, I just lost two toes." "I come to thank you for your help." "And to invite you to a Grouper dinner." "Just make sure that if you are in trouble." "Don't come to me again." "You're joking." "Why are you packing?" "We're going back to Sinapore." "Singapore?" "What about us?" "You'll have to dance by yourself in your dreams." "I won't have nice dream like that anymore." "I'm sorry I got you fired." "I was fired before you came along." "Who's that?" "Mr. Chairman." "This is our chairman." "You're both here, that's marvellous." "Can I come in?" "Have a seat." "Make yourself at home." "Have a seat please." "Have a seat, Mr. Chairman." "I have to go to a golf game right away." "You two very talented." "I want you to be my managers." "We are not qualified for such a job." "You are ideal for television station managers." "I'm their agent, you have to deal with me." "Get this Indian out to where he belongs." "But I'm their agent." "I want you to meet the board of directors." "Please put on the rings of honour." "You are part of their family now." "Who are they?" "All ex-managers." "These two frames are reserved for you." "Can we hear the new managers' plans?" "Under our joint leadership." "There will be new personal and policies." "We want to make a big breakthrough in ratings." "Then we'll introduce a new invention." "The Feel-surround television set." "I'll sure shock the world." "My genius brother will familiarize you with the set." "This Feel-surround television set of mine, is designed with the newest electronic devices." "Now please watch." "On!" "Off!" "Anyone wants to try it out?" "My machine follows every move on the screen." "It's really fun, try it." "Why don't you try it?" "You try it." "I've tried it before, you go." "All right." "Have a cigarette." "Why are you smelling so nice?" "It's the perfume you gave me." " It's nice." " Oh, yes." "Have a drink." "Sure." "I better not, I'm not feeling well." "I'll give you a message then." "Feels good?" "Very." "Please don't clap so many times." "This machine is super-sensitive." "My brother could invent it only because of my teaching." "Let me use another set for demonstration." "Shall I take a shower?" "Together with you though." " You're naughty." " Come on." "Is the temperature right?" "Don't scratch me." "I'm not, I'm soaping you." "Soaping me?" "You dare seduce your sister-in-law?" "Hui, stop it." "You unfaithful woman." "Champagne?" "Let see how you drink it?" "Drink it all." "Hui, don't get carried away." "It's none of your business." "Stop fighting." "A rotating bed?" "Start rotating." "How are you?" "Are you all right?" "You'll be all right." "You fool." "Sit down first." "You can't do anything right." "Are you all right?" "This television set will sure shock the world." "Will you three sign this contract please?" "It's one of these blank paper deals again." "We can't sign a contract like that." "That's right." "Come on, sign it." "Who likes roast pigeon?" "How did it happen?" "Pigeon waste sure stinks." "It's the contract that stinks." ""Before you can be born you have to see God."" ""Who will brief you on proprieties."" ""With a contract in hand he say:"" ""Sit down and I'll tell you life."" ""If I want you rich I'll make you rich."" ""If I'm mad you'll have to sleep in coffin."" ""I'm so powerful."" ""Sign your contract, contract."" ""Pay your visa fees, Baptism of course."" ""Then go ahead and be born."" ""You grow up and start dating."" ""Suddenly you find your girl pregnant."" ""Her mother screams for a marriage and says:"" ""Let us settle on a dower."" ""Don't you dare thinking it is free."" ""I love only money so dick up your last penny."" ""And arrange a big banquet."" ""Sign a contract with me, contract."" ""Pay this mother-in-law off, it's not a small sum."" ""Then your son can be born."" ""In Hong Kong one can hardly be free."" "There are so many laws and systems."" ""As well as so many bills to pay."" ""No room for love between husbands and wives."" ""Don't fret because hospital bills are worses."" ""You have your kids to support."" ""And education is expensive."" ""One contract after another, contract."" ""They are always on your back, it's a dog's life."" ""And you say, 'God, I don't believe this!"'" ""One contract after another, contract."" ""They are always on your back, it's a dog's life."" ""And you say, 'God, I don't believe this!" "', Oh dear.""