"I can't explain." "I can't explain myself." "I can't lie." "Everything I say is true, Even if I don't speak." "There should always be a first death." "Otherwise, nothing happens." "Otherwise it's never a problem." "Otherwise, everything is always on." "No." "There must always be someone dying first." "Based on true events" "And then everyone suddenly reacts." "But too late." "So there were deaths." "Every morning I game from 5.45 pm to 6.33 pm." "Always." "I have reached level 80." "If you never heard of it That's just... high." "This means that you are strong." "Respected in the world." "Hundreds of thousands of people online." "But I've played for more than a year Only together with her." "Scarlite says:" "Thx, my heroooo!" "Ben X says:" "Hero must go, my princess" "Scarlite says: do not forget princess can also be a man" "Ben X says:" "You are you" "Ben X says:" "logging out, see you tonight" "I'm glad that you also are you XXX Scarlite" "In games you are Whom and what you want." "Here you are only one person." "That dick you see in the mirror." "The one I have to teach him everything." "Teach him to laugh, for example." "That people finds nice." "And smile. "" "That means That there is really nothing to laugh about." "So you create your own avatar." "Twenty seconds for my hands." "And fifteen for my hair." "You are as strong as weapons and your tools." "My heartbeat watch, for example." "To my monitor my heartbeat, as they say." "For if I am getting nervous." "Not that I am less nervous but I can always tell exactly how nervous I am." "My mother." "Now she is gonna say "Good morning Ben"" "Good morning, Ben." "People always say that." "No matter, weather it is a good morning or not." "Good morning, mama." "People never say "have a lousy morning"" "Did you sleep well, boy?" ""Slept well, mama." "Glad you asked." "Thank you. "" "Ben, have you seen my troll already?" "My brother Jonas." "He is still small." "And I try to be his big brother." "Trolls don't have horses." "But I never know exactly how this works." "Quietly, Ben." "Quietly." "Quiet, yes." "Don't let it get to you." ""Yes, mama. "" " Yes mama, don't let it get to me." "Have a heart, boy." "Sure You may let things into your heart." "Just think carefully And quiet." "Give me 'a kiss." "Come on." "There is a weapon against noise..." "More noise." "But better." "Better noise." "I have to think." "And especially thinking ahead." "Foresee, like being first." "Everything is planning, All is strategy." "I can not say I was totally surprised..." "But it proved just..." "What happened so far, was totally not okay." "Before you do something like that, must surely..." "To me that was just proof that..." "Now it's just too much." "It is too much." "People are strange." "They just chat and chat and chat." "And they drink saliva from each other." "I can only look." "Observe, as they say." "Imitate..." "All things I will never learn." "Because there was always something with me." "Something with me and my hand." "Pass." "What's wrong with you, we will never know, eh." "Missed." " What's wrong with you?" "I'm the man who has always something going wrong." "But no one who could tell me..." "How I to do it right." "Hi, queers." "Pat has a new girlfriend." "A good thing." "Go and sit, dear." "Not bad, eh?" "Like a old barn on fire, sparks are flying, so hot." "You know how to feel your hand if you put it in her trousers?" "I don't want to know." "Ever give a horse a sugar cube?" "Bogaert and Desmet." "I am their best friend." "That's what they say anyway." "Hi, there is Benny." "Our best friend." " From Pluto." "The living proof that man descends from the clam." "The clam?" "Hi, Benny Boy." "The Marsman." "Hello." "Whitney Houston for Benny Boy." "Come in, Benny Boy." "Over." "Over, Benny Boy." "Do you read me?" "Hi, Benny Boy." "You've become deaf from masturbating." " What is going on in your head?" "Deaf..." "What's with it?" "I couldn't play quietly, or they thought that my ears could not hear." "The doctor said that I had a very good hearing but I could not listen." "He does not listen." "Then they said that perhaps something was wrong with my eyes." "Do you see any letters there?" " Yes." "Can you tell me what letters?" " Yes." "It is the intention that you will tell me which letters stands there." "C" " H-O-Z-T-S-Z-N-D-C-K-V-C..." "As a baby he was always looking away..." "He never looked at me." "He always looked through me." "You have to see it as a computer, which is configured completely different." "They see it all." "They see each leaf very sharp, But don't see the tree." "They literally see the trees, but not the forest." "Overview." "That's what it's about." "Over-sight." "You have to try to see." "And make sure they do not see you." "Watch where you're going." " Moron." "Watch where you're going." " Moron." "'Whitney Houston for Benny Boy." "We have a problem. "" "For Benny Boy." "The Mars man." "Every year you have a few." "Always alone in the school playground." "It is heartbreaking to see." "But yes, what do you then?" "You can hold their hand hard." "And now certainly not." "I wanted my son to go to a normal school." "My wife, my ex-wife and I quarreled about it." "But he was much smarter than some of those other kids." "Three, five, ten times smarter." "An understandable question:" "Where is God?" "Where is this man With its large, gray beard?" "With all these wars and poverty and injustice..." "Where is God?" "The interesting thing is that people who question in the time of Jesus also questioned." "Because Jesus hung there at the cross And she said:" "'Jesus, why do you do nothing?" "If your boss is creator of the universe." "If you can rise anyone from the dead?" "Then this is child's play." "Click, clack and you are free. "" "Jesus also suggests that question." "What's in the New Testament?" "At the ninth hour Jesus cried with loud voice:" ""My God, my God, Why have thou forsaken me? "" "Jesus asks himself at that moment also that question." "He was humiliated and beaten." "They have destroyed him." "Jesus himself doubts God." "He can go in death." "Actually Jesus committed suicide." "So he rises." "Until the resurrection." "And that means that God..." "Goddammit, Bogaert!" "Leave Ben alone!" "I don't think this is the first time I tell you this." "You get problems with me." "Ben is a bit different than you, Than the deplorable average here." "And if your ask me, it isn't a small luck for him." "Apparently it's difficult to accept that someone is a bit different." "Or do you want to tell us something, Mr. Bogaert?" "Something about the text that you studied extensively last night?" "Yes." " I know something." "We are burning of curiosity, Mr. Bogaert." "Does anyone know what Jesus said when he was taken of the cross?" "'Hey, first my feet. "" "That is very cute. 'My God, Why have thou forsaken me? "" "One question that I, believe me, ask myself several times every day." "Hi quietly." "Easy, please." "Ben, don't be fooled By those guests." "Just Stay quiet." "That kind of lazy birds for the cat." "They have no chance." "Once they put tape over his mouth." "They said the director ordered this." "He ran around all day with tape over his mouth." "He always had sandwiches with him." "But he was never able to eat them." "But yes, what can you do?" "What we always do, too little." "Nothing." "That is our darling." "Hi, Benny Boy?" " Baby Jesus." "Leave him alone." "It will not be easy, eh, Benny Boy, being different than the rest?" "Quietly." " Better than the average." "he is actually our great example, Eh, Ben?" "You're the man." "Quietly, quietly." "Just stay quiet." "Plain, ordinary, ordinary." "Smile." "'Keep laughing', they said." "Then it wouldn't stop." "Then they would stop." "Filming." "Action." "Queer." "Loser." "Dirty queer." " Loser." "Look at me, boy." "If you don't tell me, I can't guess it, Vertriest." "Look." "My favorite customers." "The tenth time is free, eh." " And why is that, do you think?" "I do not know." " You have really no idea?" "Is it a quiz?" "Do you find it funny, Desmet?" "I honestly think it's not funny at all." "You have apparently Vertriest..." "How will I say it..." "Bullied." "Teased a little." "Not bullied." " We do this to each other as well." "The difference is that a normal man understands that it's a joke, sir." "We still try to be normal to him." "We still talk with him." "But for him that's hard." "We are not those who throw chairs through the window, sir." "It's not easy for us either." "Leave it, save that theatre for the playground." "And you..." "Now it's time to talk, my friend." "Say it." "Come tell me." "Tell me what those two clowns did wrong again." "But yes..." "With hindsight is easy talk, eh." "Well, easy..." "I mean..." "You feel like a former combatant after a war you've lost." "I almost no longer know how often I have been in all these schools." "And always the same story." "At this school..." "We try pupils to prepare for this harsh world." "Sometimes we succeed." "And sometimes not." "About that window you need..." "The director said That they would leave it as is." "If I would let me examine once more." "Hopefully we don't have to see each as often." " I hope so too." "And you let us know what the doctor finally decided?" "Weather he..., further at this school..." " Yes." "Come on, Ben, come." "Ben, your camera." "You have to look at it." "Really, look at it." "Ben, come." "Ben, this can't go on." "This can't go on no longer." "Questing in Silancium Waiting for you!" "XXX Scarlite" "WOOOoOw!" "o_O You are a star on the internet!" "Hi, my son." "Are you alright?" "Is there something?" "Do you want to tell me something?" " No." "You have a message." "From that girl, Scarlite." "When will we see her in real life?" "Or how does it go these days?" "I will let you..." "Chatten." "Or what you call it." "Sleep tight." "Why tell people that anyway." "Sleep tight. "" "If you do not rest." "But she, she waits." "For me." "For me, Ben X. Ben Nothing." "She waited." "For me." "Scarlite says:" "Too late" "Never make a lady wait!" "Ben X says: bad health It's not going well." "Ben X says:" "I'll soon be dead" "Ben X says: so deadly tired" "Scarlite says:" "Keep your head up Here to heal you." "Ben says:" "Too late too heal" "Are you crazy?" "It's nice weather." "Let us got to the hospital again, eh, Ben." "Back to the doctor." "Again tell my story." "Dr. Meyvaert will be very glad to see us." "What is my story?" "I was not normal, I was..." "Special." "That's what everyone said" "Your child is just hypersensitive." "Just sensitive." "A little emotionally dysfunctional." " A mild form of psychosis." "Just a little tense." "Like the mother?" "I will give you this." "We can always do more examinations." "Examinate." "Examenate what?" "And there is always a camera." "Which sees it." "Who's crazy and who's not." "It is a waste of time." "Pure waste of time." "Bob, you have to face it." "This can't go on any longer." "We need someone to help us." " That child has nothing wrong." "Nothing, nothing." "I would not lose my mind." " You will lose nothing." "You have to let go, they said." "But they didn't let me to go." "Error." "Just follow the new rule." "And then they suddenly knew what it could be." "I simply have a faulty brain." "It would be Asperger syndrome Can be." "The Asperger syndrome, They said." "A form of autism." "Autism." "This is what she discovered." "I have autism." "Or autism has got me." "The man studied for twelve years" "But no one thought him to not pick his nose." "Madam, it is clearly not easy." "And it will not get any easier." "But you should not forget:" "Ben is not stupid." "On the contrary, he is very strong." "He is almost genius." "He talks and talks and talks." "The man who understands me." "He is strong in his senses." "We actually have to deal with an extraordinary boy." "Who fights every day..." "To go as a normal boy through life." "And now the question:" "Should we help him to rid this?" "His illusion, that he could go through life as a normal boy." "I have heard that his school results are good." "Very good indeed." "So why should we want to take him away there?" "Because he is bullied to death..., for example." "Yes well, that happens." "That happens." "It shouldn't be, but it happens." "At a given moment You get labeled." "Autism." "Get it?" "But that word..." "For me was that child, just a child." "For me was Ben, Ben." "Yes, that are volcanoes." "They are walking volcanoes you don't know the strength." "Time bombs actually, they live undercover in our world." "Because the reaction comes often much later than the cause." "We will continue." "We can handle that." "We surely don't give in." "And on top of all, my fingers told her everything." "Ben X says: game over time for endgame" "But she, she... no endgame, without me" "Scarlite says:" "Come on." "Come." "Scarlite says:" "Every end = begin" "She, the princess of the letters, On the other side of the country." "Who always stands beside me When I'm not doing well." "She who know me, without even knowing my name." "She who could keep me together." "She who could put me to sleep. "" "She said,..." "Well man,.. where is your plan?" "The plan of your word." "'Let me help you,' she said." "'In order to rise... to rise above yourself. '" "Quietly, Ben." "Quietly." "What is it with you today?" "Got your cell phone?" "Call if you need something?" "Don't let it get to you." "Give me a kiss." "Just stay quiet." "What exactly happened that day?" "Who will tell?" "I knew only that he..." "Look, I knew how is my son felt..." "By the way in which he slammed the door in the morning." "It was not even such a bad door." "That, at least I thought." "Hey Mars man, if you talk..., we'll get you." "I, the Mars man." "I was gonna get..." "It." "Get it." "But get what...?" "Because I was always got it." "Always" "Be normal." "Freak..." "Sissy." "Did you see... what I filmed?" "Did you watch it?" "I didn't know that you were a believer." "How are you, little guy?" "You know that you can always tell me if there is something." "Right?" "It's nothing." " Ok." "Goddammit, what is it now?" "Do you think its funny?" "I thought its funny." " And do you see me laughing?" "Perhaps you have no sense of humor, sir." "Don't get started, eh Bogaert." "You guys do a game with me, eh." "And you play with..." "Fire." " With fire, yes." "And you play with..." " Fire." "Can't you take a joke?" "You have to defend yourself, boy." "You have to arm yourself." "Arm." "My arms." "A death cross." "In Archlord pay you 350 gold." "If we just knew, they say If we just knew." "But what then?" "But what had they done?" "You see it happen each year." "It happens every time." "Every evening you sit on your bare knees and pray that it may go well." "And that is usually the case." "But yes..." "This time, we certainly skipped a prayer." "You know the outcome." "And we know it now." "I know only that the school will never be the same again." "Hi." "Eh..." "Ben X." "I don't know you in for real, Still I know you very well." "I would only say:" "What counts in a game, also counts here." "You can not play an "endgame" without your healer, and that's me." "Right?" "I'm actually worried about you." "I take the train tomorrow Arriving at 10.22." "I know that you will be there, you have never missed an appointment." "So, until tomorrow." "Hi, Marsman." " Hi, Benny Boy." "How are you?" "You are so tense." "Lets have a chat." " Despite that crazy head of yours." "The bus." "My bus." "My bus - which I always take,... driving away." "Isn't it beautiful among the trees." "Lets sit on the bench." "Friends among themselves." "You have to relax, said Beard." "And Beard is right." "Heartbeat 94..." "Hey." "What's that?" " What a watch." "You are spoiled." "Not so aggressive." "Not like last time." "You know what will happen." " We are friends." "You know what happens then." " Quiet, Desmet." "We are friends among each other." "Jesus, you are really mad." "Relax." "Got your cell phone?" "Call if there is something." "Yes, mama." "Benny, we are friends, eh." "Right?" "Hey, what is that?" "ET, phone home." " A Nokia 3250." "Damn." "What do need that for?" "You don't talk, How can you phone?" "What would he do with it?" " SMS to his mother." "SMS?" "Look." "Here, have look." "An MMS..." "Who's that?" "Frankenstein has a baby." " Scarlite." "She's called Scarlite." " Let's see." "He has a girlfriend." "Hey, which looks not bad." " Definitely not." "What counts in a game, also counts here." "You can't play an endgame Without your healer..." "Your healer?" "Is she your healer?" "Dealer." " Incredible,... serious?" "I take the train tomorrow Arriving 10.22." "Tomorrow at 10.22 hours, at the station on the platform." "We will be there, Desmet eh?" "We have to see this." "Our best friend has a date." "We can't let that pass." "Right?" "Telephone, phone, Benny." "They call him too." "It's mommy." "Mommy, hello mommy." "I'm in the park with my friends." "Leave your message after the beep." "Bye, mommy." "Oops, voicemail." "Ben, call me, okay?" "If you do not suffer from stalking?" "Doesn't it bother you, Benny Boy?" "Is that not annoying, Always your nagging mother?" "Will I keep your phone but, Benny Boy?" "What do you think?" "Ho, ho, a crucifix stiletto." " You're really crazy." "He, Benny, telephone." "It's mommy." "Shouldn't you answer?" "It is mommy, she comes to pick you up." "Well?" "Come on, Ben." "Answer." "Benny Boy." "You are a Marsman, damnit." "We won't take you again." "And we even had a present for you." "We only give that to our best friends." "It is a small pill, but it will have a big impact." "That's why they call it Superman." "Open your mouth." "It has a smiley on it, for people like you, who can not laugh." "Like it?" "A little water to flush." "You'll feel just like Superman." "So... and swallow." "The first one is free Because you are our friend." "Next time you pay." "It will be good for you." "Really." "Not so aggressive next time." "Here..." "In case you want to whine to the principal." "This isn't real." "Godammit." "It's not real." "Please, please." "Mama, what is that?" "Nothing, son." "Nothing." "Come on, we are going to find your brother." "Goddammit." "Damn." "Goddammit." "Goddam mit." "Where are you now?" "Ben..." "Feel it." "Feel it, Ben." "You must learn how to feel, to feel good." "What is it, boy?" "What happened?" "Are you alright?" "Look at you." "Alright?" "What has happened?" "It's okay,..." "lets go." "It is nothing, mama." "People say that always: "It's nothing"." "I am healed." "Really, cured, completely healed." "It's okay." " Your big brother is Superman." "Calm, Ben." "We go home." "That's enough." "There is water coming out your eyes, mama." "There is really water coming out your eyes, But I know that's salt and wet." "Salt and wet." "Ma... people say that I don't get it because I don't feel..." "But I can." "I know..." "Do you remember when I was little I always..." "Tried to put the tears back like this..." "back into the eyes" "This was simply because I didn't want you to be sad." "It's okay, mama." "People always say it's okay and then they ask:" "Are you okay, okay, okay?" "And you say:" "Yeah, yeah." "Yes, it's good." "It is good." "It's getting better." "It's getting better." "It is good, I'll say." "Really, it does." "But I am not crazy." " No." "I'm just a little bit difficult." "Yes, difficult, which I am." "But I'm in training, mama." "Really, I'm training." "I'm broken." "But I'm reborn, like in a video game." "There you get a new life as well." " Come on, son." "We'll go home." "Come on." "And now it's effect is gone..." "I'm done." "Eyes open again." "Head closed again." "What's that, Ben?" "Why didn't you tell me about it?" "Then came the truth." "The heaviness." "The strangeness." "Who has done this?" "Tell me, Ben." "Everything can be destroyed so easily, really." "Everything can be destroyed quickly." "Why couldn't..." "I be destroyed?" "Stop, Ben." "Stop." "Jonas, go." "Here...,Jonas..." "And when I saw that dick again...," "I attacked him." "I thought a lot about it." "The falling of the night." "Going to the end of the pain." "What beautiful blood can be..." "And a little later... my father came." "Ben, Ben, son." "My Dad." "He, who never knew what to say." "So, that I could follow him." "She also came along." "Sabine, his girlfriend, like he called her." "Who always asked how I was... doing." "Doing alright?" "This can't go on like this." " No, Sabine it can't go on like this, no." "But we'll have to." "It will have to, Sabine." "It's not the first time And it won't be the last." "Come, Sabine." "It's alright." "It's alright." "Take care of him." "The endgame." "The end, the end, the end, the end." "The endgame." "The endgame." "Heartbeat... 55" "Below thirteen, I'll be dead." "42 down to go." "Then you will be there." "Then you'll be done." "42 down." "And death is life." "You can not play endgame Without your healer, and that's me." "I take the train tomorrow At 10.22 hours at which you arrive." "And I know that you will be... 9.36 am." "The station." "I have to get to the station." "Quietly, quietly, Ben." "On the go, no worries" "Shall Il keep your telephone, Benny Boy?" "The station..." "The station." "10.22 hours at the station." "We'll be there eh, Desmet?" "We have to see this." "This can't be." "Too late." "And she who standing there." "Not knowing what I look like, who I am." "That I'm not there, while she is." "But I knew..." "I would find her." "I would smell her, like I was a dog." "There..." "She was." "She came." "Really." "For real." "She waited" "For me." "And she sending a text message, probably to me." "me... whom she doesn't know, don't recognize" "Me... who is here  without cell phone." "And then everything went very fast, As they say." "But everything always goes too fast for me." "She left." "Because I wasn't there..." "The man who she doesn't see." "But what my head could not, my legs could." "That's the train." "Like spacecraft that is picking us up from a barren planet." "Everything is dare." "Still doing... what you don't dare to do." "Her smell was enough." "The scent of a season, that still had to be invented." "A continent still to be discovered..." "But what I could smell already, kilometers away from the coast." "With her perfect neck facing me, dreaming of a landscape." "And I..." "I imagined how I some day would plant my lips here... like a flag." "The flag of my liberation." "So just sit here In the warmth of her body." "Shortly, suddenly perfect." "The next station is Brussels." "We arrive within..." "Hey, how are you?" "Now something had to happen." "Just say something." "But nothing is all I am saying." "I can only get away." "And she went away." "Just gone." "And I also... had to just leave." "I was really scared." "A mother feels something." "Some hundred times a second, I thought, please don't do something stupid." "If he now please But nothing dumb." "I remember well that he 'n once asked:" "How many reasons does a man need to commit suicide?" "I said:" "How many?" "Yes, how many, he said." "Are those two, five, ten?" "That's what kept him busy." "To know whether he had enough." "The endgame." "My plan." "The plan of a word." "Murder." "The murder of myself." "Taking the train." "To nowhere more." "There is one advantage to suicide." "You don't have to seek the victim very far.." "You don't even have to do it yourself." "The train will do it." "What was his motive?" "A locomotive." "If you think that it goes quickly..." "That is really not the case." "Even if you have the good fortune that you are immediately beheaded..." "Then your head still remains conscious for 13 to 15 seconds." "You can imagine that not really a nice thought." "When you see the rest of your limbs flying around." "They say that you just before you die..." "The movie of your life passes before your eyes." "And?" "Did it?" "But who has..." " Who pushed?" "Me of course." "Who else?" "Silly." "You?" "And he has no notable scars Or a birthmark or something?" "Scars?" "That was already broken?" "And did you notice anything strange?" "I don't get it, Ben." "Not really." "Are you the man who escaped from the dungeons of Silancium?" "Who alone with me crossed the desert of Windrill?" "Who fought with Bailor," "With me travelled through the marshes of Ondekon," "Beat Zerdin," "You are at level 80, damnit." "So this is your endgame?" "Downright simply jumping in front a train." "Is that your plan?" "Just to "exit"." "A "log out"." ""On the go." "No worries. " Well, that is surely good news?" "That is to say, he is just gone for a bit And you don't have to worry." "My son doesn't do that, just simply go away on Saturday morning." "He can't, just leave." "And look, I've found this." "It is a perfect day to throw back your head and kiss it all goodbye 101 ways to kill yourself" "I do not know if you know, Ben..." "In real life..." "Dying is really final." "You can't just imagine." "So, we die sometime." "But not in real life." "We don't play that way, Ben." "You, level 80." "Do you want to leave this world, Ben?" "So leave." "But if you want to take revenge, Ben, Avenge yourself." "Because otherwise you are just what they say about you." "A loser." "Play to win, Ben." "Everything is planning." "Everything is strategy." "Do like Fanta?" "I am so happy." "That you are you." "We will report him as missing nationwide." "And this?" "What are you going to do about it?" "I will contact our social workers." "They know that all too well." "Sadly." ""I only wanted to get away," he said." "'But I didn't dared to die because I did not know what it was like. "" "Is that your big plan?" "How are we to do it?" "Taking poison?" "No..." "Imagine you've taken your poison and regret it." "Then you call 911, "Hello?" "Baaaarf!"" "At 911, they always get that kind of calls." "That is really something for crazies." "Maybe you can hang yourself." "That is really cool." "Apparently one gets an enormous erection like a flagpole." "But after that you'll shit yourself." "That's not so cool to be found that way, eh." "You know, Ben, furthermore..." "What they find under the fingernails of someone who has hung themselves?" "All small bits of rope and skin." "And do you know why that is?" "That's because they desperately try to get that rope of their neck" "And they don't succeed or not." "Because the seat is too far and they can't reach it." "Ben, you find it exciting, eh?" "Dying." "Dying." "Everything is solved at once." "Ben is dissolved at once." "Wouldn't you want to look around to see if there is a different solution?" "Look around briefly." "Damn it you should be a little more creative, Ben." "Don't speak, beauty." "You are so beautiful." "Form a guild, she said." "like in Archlord." "It was her idea." "There are quests which are too big for two." "'You have to help me,' he said." "And we helped him." "We knew that everybody would say:" ""You can't do that. "" "But it is therefore, that I did it." "You may not smoke, Sabrina." " It is' Sabine '." "You should be thankful That you can't smoke here." "Yes, I am incredibly grateful." " Another half-day longer to live." "You don't not really mean this." "You're not really going to do this?" "You understand that this is impossible." "I cannot." "Sabine, you have to." "You absolutely wanted to be here, that's okay with me." "But if you think that it's easy for us, then you'll be wrong." "Look." "The sea." "The end of the world." "And you know what they say, eh Ben?" "Each end is a beginning." "Anyone want something to eat?" "Ben?" "Sabine?" " No, thank you." "Don't you feeling alright, Sabine?" " Not really, no." "Ben, are you sure?" "Is this what you want?" "Alright." "Ben..." "I would..." "I have too... commit myself." "Everything is thought." "Thinking ahead." "Everything is willpower." "Everything is courage." "Eventually still doing what you can't do." "If you die in a game, you are just gone, momentarily." "And then you have to find your own body back." "The only thing they found of me, Was a tape." "And I..." "I was gone." "These are particularly poignant images Who remind us... that every week a Flemish youth takes his life." "According to recent studies, 10 percent of all Flemish youth..." "Admitted to have thought about committing suicide." "A very frightening figure." "Sport then." "The tournament at Indian Wells..." "Dear attendees." "Dear family..." "Dear colleagues..." "Ladies and gentlemen, Girls and boys." "We are meeting here this afternoon To say farewell to..." "Of a very special young man." "Who suddenly and very tragically... .. has passed away." "Ben's life was never easy." "With the condition that he had - made his life difficult." "Perhaps... we realize now, Too late thus... that he struggled with this disability, so to say." "And that this was worse than we thought." "Because there was never a real contact." "And now even never will be." "Today we can only accept... that some things simply are too heavy to bear." "Therefore family..." "Hello." "Thank you for coming." "I have also passed away, as they say." "escaped myself." "Best fellow human beings..." "My fight has ended." "At the end of your life you see the movie of your life passing, they say." "Here are a few scenes Which you may find interesting." "Ben, come on." "Now." "The endgame." "Creative dying, is what she called it." "Suicide without the murder." "Dying without going away or leaving without dying." "I had to learn everything." "But the most important I forgot." "Learning to lie." "Deceiving." "There had to be a death first." "Otherwise you were probably not here." "For a boy simply bullied." "And at a certain point, you can't continue to beg and asking..." "Mama, so angry." "And again asking whether something will happen, please... that finally would stop." "That they would finally stop bullying my son." "And his life as... sorry, but it's really true." "To make his life so impossible." "His autism is his problem, But for him it's no problem." "The others." "They are the problem." "Others." "They have to learn to leave my son alone." "Ben simply wanted to go." "Now he's gone." "And actually he is still alive." "He lives." "In his own world, perhaps, but he still lives." "He still lives." "She said... it's high time to become who you are." "His life." "Let it happen, Ben." "Do not be afraid." "If you want to feel good, you have to be good at feeling." "Caress him." "I have never been happy." "But I have never been,..." "So happy." "Nice, eh." "Animals don't have to talk." "Don't you dare to mount?" "There is always something..." "People see a horse and want to get on it." "But the animals didn't get asked?" "Don't you think so?" "Because if you can choose to ride alone..." "Oh yes..."