"I, uh, I don't..." "Uh, uh, come on, come on." "Guys, listen, I don't know about this, all right?" "Come on, Hercules, it's not gonna hurt." "Well, I've never been on a blind date before, all right." "There's three of them and two of us." "We need you." "Yeah, do the math." "Not that the situation didn't have potential." "Hey ladies, this is Hercules." "This is Penelope." " Hi." " Hello." "Sabrina." "Hi." "And Tara, your date." "Uh, hi." "So, uh, nice to meet you." "Is it?" "Hey, fellas, what a nice surprise." "Not the words I would have used." "Uh, everybody, this is Hephaestus." "Hi." "Well, looks like some local boys, finally got a date." "Ha." "That's pretty funny." "Well ladies, I think that, um..." "So, um, how long have..." "Ah, bread!" "Hercules?" " Herc!" " One second." "You gonna do something about this?" "Wanna see a neat trick?" "Why me?" "'Cause he's your brother." "Ah, that's really neat." "It's getting a little late, isn't it?" "Huh, no, uh, what?" "Ah, hey Hephaestus, can I talk to you for a second?" "Yeah." "Okay, I'm just gonna..." "Yeah." "Uh, hi." " Hi, how ya doin'?" " Good, good." "Good, nice to see ya." "Uh, listen, me and the guys, it's funny actually." "We had some plans for tonight." "Oh, that's great!" "What are we gonna do?" "Hey, hey guys, listen I was just about to tell Hephaestus here how much fun he might have if he had a date of his own." "You'd do that?" "For me?" "Uh, we'd do what exactly?" "Well, you'd help me find a date." "What wonderful friends you are!" "Hold that thought, yeah." "Jason." "Something's come up, uh..." "Jason." "I'll just be one minute, okay?" "Jason." "Go get her, make us proud." "Okay, go." "You got something on your face." "What do I say first?" " I, uh..." " Oh, hell-o." "Hello." "Hell-o." "And then tell her she has pretty eyes." "Even if she doesn't." "Sh, sh." "Go get her." "Hell-o." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Eyes!" "Talk about her eyes." "You have, uh, very beautiful eyes." "Huh!" "Sorry, you're not his type." "But you do have pretty eyes." "Oh yeah, they're great." "Yeah." "Where'd they go?" "They're gone." "What?" "Jas, they're gone!" "Why did they go?" "Gee, they probably didn't want to sit alone all night." "We can catch them." "Listen Hephaestus, don't sweat it, all right." "I mean, we mean well, but the truth is, we have no idea what we're talking about." "Listen, if I know one thing about women, and that's it, you can't make 'em like you." "All right." "No, but I can make a girl!" "Oh yeah, sure." "Are you serious?" "Yeah!" "Oh, uh, okay, I mean, I guess." "I mean, he is the god of making stuff but..." "Hey, and you can help me!" "It's brilliant." "Oh, it is." "In an age of light and darkness," "Zeus, king of the gods, ruled the universe." "He had a son, young Hercules." "Half-god, half-man, young Hercules longs to find his place in the world, the father he's never known, and what it means to be a hero." "Before the man became legend, before the legend became myth, came the greatest adventure of all." "Hephaestus, making a woman sounds like an incredibly bad idea." "But I can do it!" "It's not a question of can do it, it's a question of should do it." "And trust me, you shouldn't do it." "It's wrong." "A person's too, you know, unique." "They're too complicated." "Uh, especially, a female person." "But, why?" "I don't know." "They've just always seemed more complicated to me." "Look, I want to know." "I mean, what is it in a woman?" "Aw, Hephaestus, I don't know." "I want to understand." "I've lived most of my life alone." "I haven't experienced the world like you." "So tell me," "I mean, what is it about a woman that makes her what she is?" "It's... it's everything." "It's anything." "It's..." "What things?" "Okay, um..." "A woman is smart." "Sm..." "And... and she knows herself." "Well, she's got a very strong will." "Strong, like bronze." "Sure, and, uh, you know, and her senses are amazing, okay, she can see and hear things that men can't and, uh... well, their hearts are pure." "Pure, you mean like gold." "Well, sure, um..." "And she's caring, and she's generous, and she's full of love and affection, and..." "Okay." "Ohh, ho ho." "It's done." "Hephaestus!" "Galatea." "I'll call her Galatea." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" "Hephaestus, tell me you didn't." "Whadd'ya think?" "Well, I mean, it's beautiful." "Ahhh!" "Not it, she." "She?" "Okay." "All right." "It'll take a minute." "I've got something for her." "Uh, Hephaestus, I j..." "Yeah." "Something special." "I have to get her something special." "A songbird, well, maybe she'd like that." "It sounds so pretty." "No, wait." "Even better!" "Butterflies!" "Amazing." "Hephaestus." "Hephaestus." "You... uh, Hephaestus!" "Hephaestus!" "Um, she's, her..." "Hello." "Uh, you can talk?" "Oh." "And... and... you can move?" "What's your name?" "Uh, I'm Hercules." "I am..." "I'm..." "Uh, you Galatea, okay?" "I'll make her a cage, out of reeds." "Yeah!" "And I'll fill it with butterflies." "Wow, it'll be beautiful!" "Just like her." "Who am I kidding?" "It'll take a lot more than butterflies and birds to get Galatea to like me." "A lot more." "Uh, what're, what're you doin'?" "Don't be afraid of me." "I'm full of love and affection." "Well, that may be, but, y-you see," "I-I think that you have me confused for someone else." "Hercules would know what to do, he always does." "It always seems so easy to him." "If I was Hercules," "I'd, I'd..." "I'd bring her some flowers!" "Yeah!" "That's it!" "Flowers!" "Okay." "Right." "Hey, Hercules!" "Do you think she'll like flowers?" "Flowers?" "It's happened." "Yeah, uh, this is Hephaestus." "He's, uh, the guy that made ya." "Hello." "Hi." "Hercules?" "Yeah?" "Is he your friend?" "Hephaestus?" "Oh, Hephaestus, my friend?" "Yeah, Heph is the best!" "Oh, sorry." "Yeah, listen, you know what I think?" "I think that you two kids should go away..." "Somewhere romantic, somewhere fun, huh?" "Somewhere very far, oh, so far, away from here." "Uh, I still don't know what to say." "Can you come with me?" "No." "What about the guys?" "Maybe they'll help." "It couldn't make it any worse." "So, you think she'll like it?" "It's got the best views around here." "Yeah." "Whoa!" "If we survive the trip." "Thank you for bringing me here." "Oh, Galatea, would you st..." "Hey, how about Hephaestus, huh?" "Okay, maybe, on the outside, a little bit, a little bit rough, okay?" "But on the inside." "There's a great guy, huh?" "Am I missing something, here?" "When you figure it out, tell me." "Okay, right." "Fruit, yeah." "Uh, I got cheese, bread... hi." "Oh, ah, look at that!" "Goat cheese so fresh, there's fur on it!" "Hephaestus is amazing, isn't he?" "Oh, um, you know, that Hephaestus is gonna make some girl very, very happy some day." "That's Hephaestus' date, you gotta back off." "Look, I'm not doing it, she is." "Well, you better do something soon or he's gonna notice." "Galatea?" "Yes?" "We have to talk, okay?" "Is that goat cheese?" "Galatea, you have to lay off." "I can't do that." "Why can't you do that?" "Because I don't want to, and I have a very strong will." "You have a strong will?" "And your senses are keen?" "And your heart is pure?" "And it's all because of me." "It's like you can see inside me." "Galatea, stop." "Listen." "Hercules!" "Hephaestus, I can explain, all right?" "Heph, just listen to me." "I don't wanna hear your lies!" "I'm not gonna fight you, all right?" "We're brothers." "I don't care." "That's enough!" "Is this what you want, Hercules?" "I'll give you the woman you deserve." "Come with me!" "Hercules!" "Get out of the way!" "Man, I've never seen Heph angry before." "I don't wanna see it again." "Be careful, Hercules." "He may be a nice guy, but he's still a god." "If Hercules wants you, well, he can have you." "Your heart burns with passion for him." "May your heart be cold as Olympian ice." "He's so lonely that he did something really wrong, you know?" "Poor guy, he can't even build a girl to like him." "Why was she going after you?" "Mmm, how should I know?" "Uh, Galatea, listen," "I know how you feel about... whoa!" "Wait a minute!" "What are you tryin' to do?" "I'm tryin' to hurt you!" "Aargh!" "I wanted her to reject Hercules, not attack him!" "Whoa, their first argument's a doozie." "She's serious." "Oh, this is terrible." "I've got to help them!" "Let me, uh..." "Hey, how you doin'?" "I was just..." "Whoa!" "She's trying to hurt you, and them." "Uh, uh, hi." "Whoa!" "Jason!" "I'll get her." " You help the guys." " Okay." "You've put on a little weight, lolaus!" "Tell me about it." "Argh!" "Whoa!" "Yeah, I gotta get a new approach." "Jason!" "Just hold on, guys!" "Look, I don't understand, I thought you liked me." "My heart is closed to you." "Quick, give me your hand." "What are you doing?" "I'm trying to save you!" "I wanted her to forget him, not destroy him." "Hephaestus!" "Can you give us a hand here?" "!" "If you do not let me end now," "I shall only destroy you later!" "Don't you believe me?" "Yeah, I believe you." "Then, why do you do this?" "Because I have to." "Why would you destroy me?" "I have to." "She's not real." "This is all my fault." "Hercules, let me pull you back!" "Get off!" "No, we're not leaving you here, Herc!" "If you get off, we'll have a chance to swing to safety!" "If you don't, we're all goin' down!" "Okay." "Galatea, I can't leave her!" "Galatea!" "Heph, she's not real!" "On the count of three, we're just gonna swing." "Let go with your hands." "One, two." "This is gonna hurt." "Three!" "No!" "Galatea!" "Galatea!" "Is she okay?" "The bridge couldn't hold her." "Hephaestus." "How you doin', Hephaestus?" "I never should have made you." "I wanted to believe that you were real." "I know she's not real, Hercules." "Why does it still hurt that she's gone?" "I don't know." "I wish that I did."