"Dad!" "Dad." "Cease, please." "Those aren't even the words." "What?" "I'm practicing for the big show." "Doesn't anybody sing along anymore?" "Okay, did you get the address?" "It's Ludlow near Stanton." "Great." "You got your cap?" "Yeah." " Got your coat on?" " Yeah." "Okay, I got my keys." "I got my wallet." "Okay, let's go." "Dad?" "You're sure you don't have any ibuprofen?" "I don't." "I'm sorry." " What about the other stuff?" " No." " Plain old aspirin?" " I have water." " Unbelievable." " Would you like some water?" "It's... it's... it's..." "It's really crazy when you think about it." "I mean, you're a doctor." "You prescribed me sleeping pills two weeks ago." "And if I needed morphine, I know you could get me some." "But you can't give me two aspirin." "I already said I don't have any." "You still feel I'm denying you." "I'm just..." "I'm not up to this today." "Why do you think I would do that?" "I don't know." "Cruelty maybe," "Uh, power, control," "Youthful clinging to protocol." "My father used to do the same thing." "If ever I got sick, or my brother did," "He'd never write out a prescription." "He'd always send us to the clinic" "For an antibiotic." "Do you get headaches a lot?" "Yeah, I do lately." "How often?" "Sometimes three in a week." "That's another Parkinson's symptom, by the way." "Not all the Web sites list it," "But I found five or six that do." "So we've got tremor, rigidity," "Frequent headaches," "Loss of sense of smell..." "that's a fun one." "You've been researching online." "I was." "Now I'm..." "I'm not." " You mean..." " I mean I'm stopping." "I've stopped." "Why is that?" "How about an ice pack?" "You wouldn't refuse me an ice pack, would you?" "If you really feel you can't continue, we should..." "No no, it's okay." "I was just kidding," "Sort of." "I'll muster through." "So where..." "where were we?" "Your research." "Oh yes, the joyful discovery" "That headaches are a symptom of Parkinson's." "That's one possible explanation." "Well, I'm gonna ask the new neurologist." "I'm seeing him on the 7th." " Could there be others?" " Other neurologists?" "I don't doubt it." "Other explanations for your headaches." "How are things at home with..." "Max." "My son's name is Max." " I remember." " You do?" "I just saw you were kind of searching for it there." "No, I wasn't." "So how are things at home?" "Do you remember I told you" "About my teenage patient, the adopted one?" " Jesse." " Yeah." "Well, he showed up with a black eye this week." "Seems he got into a big fight," "Suspended from school." "Why do you bring him up?" "Because I've been worried about him." "I..." "I don't see what the problem is." "I asked how things were at home" "And you moved on to your teenage patient." "You asked me if there were other reasons" "Why I've been suffering from headaches." "You sit with Jesse" "And you'll know he's a valid answer." "I've been concerned about his treatment." "I'm just not certain anymore" "That I'm the right person to help him." "Truth is, he might be better off" "If he were seeing you instead..." "Seeing anyone else, really." "I actually came here today" "To ask your opinion." "Earlier you said you came back because of Max." " Earlier as in..." " Last week." " Oh." " You said he was your reason" "For returning to therapy." "You said you wanted to discuss" "How best to tell him about your illness." "You know..." "You seem upset." "Have you been reading Gina's book?" "I'm sorry?" "Gina's book," "Her critically acclaimed" "Deeply deluded work of fiction." "I told you that's her big theory..." "That I invested in my patients" "At the expense of real relationships." "I remember it upset you she gave a character these shortcomings." "Oh yeah, it upset me." "Do you know why?" "Because it's horseshit." "You know, I can worry about my patients" "And still be there for my son." "I'm..." "I'm..." "You know, I'm perfectly capable" "Of doing two things at once." "In fact, I was just out with Max last night" "To see his favorite band." " How was that?" " It was fine." "It was loud." "It, you know, was..." "What was it?" "Every time I bring up Max, you seem to..." "Christ, I'm not trying to avoid your questions about Max," "I promise you that." "And the connection with Jesse will make sense" "If you'd just let me get to it." "Of course." "Please." "Okay," "Two days ago Jesse brings his mother in." " His..." " Adoptive mother." "He's trying to get me to tell her about his birth mother's phone call." "Of course, I didn't want to do that." "So Jesse finally blurts out the news himself." "His mother flees the room immediately." "Then Jesse accuses me of taking her side." "Do you think that's...?" "He's right." "I didn't realize it at the time, but..." "You see what's going on here, I'm sure." "It's perfectly obvious what's at play." "I'm not certain I..." "Okay." "Here's this woman." "She's sitting across from me." "Her son is struggling." "She's spent years raising this kid..." "Feeding him, clothing him," "Trying to do the best she can" "To, you know, connect with him." "Then in comes this other person," "Swoops in, trying to claim him as her own." "Of course I felt for her." "You know?" "How could I not?" "You're talking about Kate's fiance." "Steve." "You feel he's swooping in," "Trying to claim your children." "He's done his best." "So clearly I'm less than objective here." "My question for you is..." "Can I still" "Treat Jesse effectively?" "You're asking my advice" "About your practice?" "I'm asking your opinion." "I'm asking you whether you think" "I've lost my objectivity." "All right?" "I mean, you must have some opinion." "What, are you so appalled by my admission" "That you're not even going to address it?" "I think the question you're asking" "Is one you might ask a supervisor." "And what does that mean?" "You're asking me to step outside my role as your therapist." "I know with Gina this was..." "Oh, we're back to Gina again." "May I finish?" "Sure, go ahead." "I know this was common practice with Gina." "I'm not Gina." "You say you're finding it hard" "To be objective with Jesse." "You know this has a lot to do" "With your feelings about Max and Steve." "You point this out." "You make the connection." "But then you'd rather not look at it." "Maybe you can tell me some more about Steve." "I don't know what exactly there is to say about him" "Except he's made my son miserable." "Has Max told you that?" "In his own words." "Which were what?" "That the guy's a total putz," "He's a warlock, a republican." "Should I keep going?" "If you like." "As soon as he bought Kate her ring," "The warlock decided they should move into his castle." "Oh, he's an architect" "And very proud of this modern monstrosity" "That he built in Aberdeen, Maryland." "So he announces they're all gonna live there," "Starting immediately," "Even though Aberdeen is 40 minutes outside the city" "And Anour's bus ride from Max's school" "And the few friends that he has." "And Max isn't happy with this arrangement?" "He traveled 200 miles alone on the train to prove it." "And how have things been since he got here?" "Last week I signed Max up for school." "I told you... a decent place around the corner." "It's the third highest test scores in Brooklyn." "But Kate and the republican..." "they don't approve." "So she calls me twice a day to say that he's gonna pay for poly prep..." "Which is a mer 30 grand a year." "And last time she lets it drop" "That he's prepared to cover college." "This feels threatening?" "Oh, I guess I should be relieved," "Let him support my kids for life." "And I'll just retire tomorrow." "Do you want to retire?" "Sometimes." "You know, I've been trying to talk to you" "About how poor a job I might be doing," "Whether I'm failing certain patients," "But you're kind of making it clear" "That you don't want to discuss that." "I wonder if you feel" "You may be failing your son too." "Steve's presence obviously has affected your relationship." "Can you tell me what disturbs you most about...?" "Apart from the fact that he's trying to buy my son's love," "That he thinks he knows better" "What's right for my kid?" "It shouldn't be too hard to grasp" "What my problem is with Jesse..." "Why I don't know if I can treat him." "'cause I see him obsessed" "With this new parent figure," "Rejecting the people who raised him." "But Max hasn't rejected you." "He chose to live with you." "He hasn't withdrawn." "He's come closer." "Well, geographically closer, yes." "He still feels distant?" "Nothing's changed this week?" "He's still the same..." "Drawing, sleeping, monosyllabic." "He was out of school for a couple days" "With a cold." "It's not that." "It bothers you deeply to see him unhappy." "You said you took him out last night." "How was he then?" "Do you know animal collective?" "I'm gonna assume that's a band." "Max told me last month that he'd missed them" "When they played in Baltimore" "Because of his mother and Steve's engagement party." "So I saw that they were playing here" "And I got tickets." "It was the craziest scene... 400 hypercharged kids" "And a few traumatized parents." "All the other kids were going berserk," "Rushing the edge of the stage," "Crushed together, screaming frantically." "And Max?" "Max stayed pinned to my side." "He went closer when I prodded him, but..." "What?" "You know, he kept coming back to check on me." "So I'd send him off again" "And he'd go stand at the edge of things," "Against the side wall, with his hood on." "It was..." "It was just hard for me to watch him." "This is his favorite band?" "Yeah." "You say it was hard for you to watch him." " Can you tell me why?" " Because I'm his father." " Yes." " He's my son." "You're asking me why it was hard for me to see him unhappy." "Clearly you haven't had kids." "I'm asking if you can describe in more detail" "What it felt like to watch him." "You said he kept coming back to check on you." "Why do you think that is?" "I was deafened by the noise." "And..." "I couldn't help wondering how Sunil..." "What he would make of all this." " Sunil?" "Your patient?" " Right." "Why do you bring him up?" "I kept seeing the whole thing through his eyes..." "The assault of it, the frenzy." "It was so..." "So extreme, so..." "So American." "I know exactly how he feels," "Why he locks himself off in that room." "And you think Max somehow picked up on this?" "That's why he kept coming back to check on you?" "Surely you weren't the only parent" "Standing uncomfortably in the back." "I..." "I guess I'm not so clear" "Why Max would be so concerned." "Are you all right?" "Paul." "I..." "I made a terrible mistake." "Tell me." "I let Max use my computer before we left" "To find the directions to the concert," "And I..." "I didn't realize I hadn't cleared" "The searches from the list" "From the..." "the history." "So I walk into the room" "And he's scrolling through this list of searches," "Hundreds of them..." "Parkinson's institute," "Parkinson's disease foundation." "I know all of them by heart." "And..." "What?" "I just..." "I just knew from his face" "Exactly what he'd seen." "And he..." "Asked me..." "If I was sick." " What did you say?" " I said no." "I said it..." "that wasn't about me." "I was researching for a patient." "But Max is..." "he's exceptionally bright." "It's never been easy to lie to him." "His sister's seven years older," "And he told her there was no tooth fairy." "Did you consider telling him the truth?" "I was just in shock." "And he was just looking at me" "With his big eyes." "And I thought," ""he's scared."" "Get through the moment, get out the door," "See the concert." "You can ruin his life later," ""Not like this though." "Not right now."" "I mean, it's fucking crazy..." "All this time I'm consumed with how best to break it," "And then to have it happen like this," "In..." "In the worst possible way." "Was that the entire conversation?" "Pretty much." "We got home." "I put him to bed." "And I went to my computer" "And I just erased the whole history." "Then I had a drink." "And then" "I had a few more." "And then I went to sleep." "And I didn't wake up till Max called me for school." "So there." "There's your other explanation" "For my now splitting headache." "It is worse, having told me?" "I shouldn't have had those drinks." "I know that." "I don't drink alone." "After the night that I had..." "You said you went to bed after your drinks" "And slept till morning." "That's right." "You didn't wake up?" "Did you have your dream?" "I..." "I..." "I..." "I don't know." "I may have." "I don't remember really." "Am I right that this is the first time" "You were able to sleep well in months?" "Well, I guess I've got the whisky to thank for that." "I'm wondering if there's another reason" "You were able to sleep well" "Quite apart from the alcohol." "Why do I have the feeling that I'm not gonna like this?" "You mentioned that in the morning" "It was Max who woke you up." " Mm-hmm." " Does he usually wake you up or...?" "It was late." "I was sleeping." " I understand." "What I'm ask... - he was late for school." "I was sleeping." "You know, I don't know what you're getting at." " What I'm try..." " it isn't relevant." "It isn't meaningful." "It was just a hangover." "You're speaking very loudly." "Sorry." "Are you suggesting that I left my Internet history up" "On purpose, for Max to discover?" "I think it can be a dead end to try to ascribe intentionality." " Let's just... - oh Jesus, come on." "Listen to you." "You sound like a textbook..." ""when patient tries to ascribe"..." "Damn it." "Damn it." "Are you all right?" "No." "Would you like some water?" "No, thank you." "Let's talk about the effects" "Max's discovery has had on you." "The scene you described to me..." "Max coming to check on you at the concert," "Getting you up in the morning..." "Does that dynamic seem familiar to you?" "A child caring for a parent." "When, you said, your own mother wasn't well" "You had to take care of her when you were young." "And now here's Max taking care of you." "Can you tell me what you're thinking?" "Honestly?" "Please." "I wish I could tell you to go fuck yourself." "What's stopping you?" "I don't know what you must think of me." "What must I think of you?" "I'm subjecting my son to the same misery I went through." "Not only that but I..." "I'm getting some kind of" "Comfort from it," "Sleeping like a baby through the night." "I mean..." "I don't know how you can stand to look at me." "When I look at you," "I see a father profoundly concerned for his son." "Fuck." "Fuck it." "Fuck." "I've got to meet Max in 20 minutes." "I have to take him to Penn station for a 6:50 train." "He's spending the weekend" "With Kate and Steve." "I don't know if I can face him." "What frightens you?" "That he's gonna look up at me" "And pretend..." "Just pretend that everything is fine" "When the truth is" "That he's worrying that I'm dying." "He'll be thinking" "If I'm unfit to be his father." "Are you unfit to be his father?" "I think you've been working very hard" "To prove you're unfit..." "To yourself, to your neurologist, to Max," "To me." "How to you?" "Since you came in today," "You've tried to get me to take care of you." "You've asked me for painkillers." "You even imagined I'd give you morphine." "You asked for help with one of your patients," "Even suggesting I would do a better job with one of them," "Despite the fact," "As you are very fond of pointing out," "You have 20 years of clinical experience over me." "I think I'm beginning to understand" "How the dynamic between you and Gina developed," "How she came to play" "So many roles in your life..." "Supervisor, mentor, therapist," "Mother." "How was it you say she presented you in the novel?" "Needy, childish," "Poor husband, deficient father?" "Is it possible that you convinced her" "That you were, in fact, incapable?" "That you've convinced yourself?" "Why would I do that?" "Why would I do that?" "You said Max's train's at 6:50?" "Yeah, I should..." "I should go get him." "Paul, we'll talk next week." "Yeah."