"You can't be sleeping with this patient." "He's only 6" "He has Advanced Aging Disease." "It's just not right." "I was kidding." "Oh my God." "Seriously, you kids have fun." "That's it." "This kid's getting a vasectomy." "No." "Don't." "Excuse me." "No, I didn't fart." "I just have to get by." "There aren't stairs there." " Nut cutters." " Do you mean the Scalpel?" "Well, I'm not going to give it" "To you unless you call it by its" "Right name." "glenn:" "Fine." "Scalpel." "Thank you for the nut cutters." "nurse robin:" "Dr. Richie, it" "Looks like you're giving this 6-year-old boy a vasectomy." "glenn:" "Well..." "I'm not." "Sperm-tube slicer." "nurse robin:" "Oh, no." "I can't be party to this." "Ohh." "glenn:" "Fine, I'll do it myself." "Where do I put this [bleep] blake:" "Hey, lola." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "lola:" "Sure, but you better" "Make it quick." "I just took an ambien, and it's" "About to kick in." "blake:" "Look, I know you don't" "Really have a tumor, okay?" "I know you're just claiming you" "Did in order to break up with" "Owen." "I get that." "lola:" "Oh, thank god that" "Someone gets it." "Blake, thank you." "blake:" "I want to operate on" "Your nonexistent tumor." "lola:" "Oh, god." "blake:" "No, hear me out." "I challenged the new clown" "Doctor to a "healing power of" "Laughter" off." "Now, if I operate on your fake" "Tumor, I'm bound to win." "lola:" "No." "It's stupid." "Oh, whoa, whoa." "Ambien." "blake:" "What?" "lola:" "It's kicking in." "So... blake:" "Oh!" "Uh... sal:" "Attention, staff." "The heavyweight champion of the" "World -- rocky balboa." "blake:" "What?" "You want to go to the o.R.?" "Okay, I'll take you." "cat:" "Webster's dictionary" "Defines "love" as a roof lantern" "Or turret, often with slatted" "Apertures for escape or smoke or" "Admission of light in a medieval" "Building." "[ crying ] cat:" "God, what's wrong?" "this is all your fault!" "cat:" "Wh-- your ex-boyfriend just gave" "My 6-year-old son nicky a" "Vasectomy!" "cat:" "Josh brolin gave your" "Son a vasectomy?" "no!" "Dr. Richie!" "cat:" "Oh, that makes more" "Sense." "Josh brolin isn't licensed to" "Practice medicine... dr." "Black?" "cat: ..." "That I know of." "dr." "Black!" "cat:" "Okay!" "God!" "The answer to your question is" "Yes." "I dated josh brolin." "[ gags ] [ vomits ] oh, don't be so dramatic." "cat:" "I'm not." "I've been really sick lately," "Mainly in the mornings, in" "Between all these really weird" "Food cravings ever since I had" "Sex with your son." "you had sex with my son?" "!" "cat:" "What, you prefer I have" "Sex near your son or above your" "Son?" "I don't see what the big deal is" "About me having sex with your" "Son." "it's not about the" "Preposition!" "cat: [ vomits ]" "Oh, no!" "Ever since I had sex with your" "Son, I hadn't been feeling" "Right." "I hope I'm not, uh..." "Sick with something your son" "Gave me." "[ laughter ] dr." "Von sydow:" "No, it's true," "Though." "Zach braff has a really tiny" "Penis." "A colored hooker told me." "owen:" "Wow." "chief:" "Whoa?" "Wow." "dr." "Von sydow:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "But isn't it about time that we" "Operated on your various" "Neurological and muscular" "Disorders?" "chief:" "Right." "Oh, hey, you guys, I think" "You should know that I've" "Decided to let dr." "Max von sydow" "Cure me." "owen:" "Of what?" "chief:" "Wish me luck." "Blake will be in charge while" "I'm recovering." "Hey, wait a minute, where is" "Blake?" "briggs:" "Hey!" "Blake is operating on lola's" "Brain tumor using only the" "Healing power of laughter." "owen:" "Two crazy operations at" "Once?" "Let's go!" "chief:" "Hurry, everybody!" "Hurry!" "announcer:" "Previously on" ""childrens hospital"... blake:" "I want to operate on" "Your nonexistent tumor." "Oh!" "What?" "You want to go to the o.R.?" "Okay, I'll take you." "briggs:" "Blake is operating on" "Lola's brain tumor using only" "The healing power of" "Laughter." "owen:" "Two crazy operations at" "Once?" "Let's go!" "[ mid-tempo music plays ] chief:" "Well, lola, this is" "It." "When we return to this spot, we" "Will be two very different" "People." "Punch it in." "Oh." "Max, can I get a little help" "Here?" "dr." "Von sydow:" "Oh, yeah." "chief:" "I want to punch it in." "dr." "Von sydow:" "Um, sure." "Let's just kind of let that try" "To un-gnarl for a second." "chief:" "Pull it." "Okay, there you go." "dr." "Von sydow:" "There it is." "chief:" "Ow." "Okay." "It doesn't really... dr." "Von sydow:" "Does this fist" "Straighten out?" "chief:" "Yeah, that doesn't" "Bend." "dr." "Von sydow:" "Okay." "chief:" "That's good enough." "dr." "Von sydow:" "All right." "chief:" "Okay, punch it in." "dr." "Von sydow:" "Oh, yeah." "chief:" "Oh, okay." "Blake?" "blake:" "Huh?" "Oh." "chief:" "Can I get a little" "Help here?" "blake:" "Of course." "chief:" "Thanks." "blake:" "Just, uh -- chief:" "Just get it " "There you go." "Yeah!" "dr." "Sydow:" "All right." "blake:" "Brush." "Ironic t-shirt." ""truth in comedy."" "[ laughs ]" "Andy dick did comedy?" "dr." "Von sydow:" "Suture the" "Central line of the contracture." "Pulse ox?" "nurse allison: 74." "[ rapid beeping ]" "Doctor, code brown." "dr." "Von sydow:" "Claudicate the" "Distal cavity." "nurse allison:" "But that's so" "Risky." "dr." "Von sydow:" "Claudicate it." "Now." "nurse allison:" "It worked." "I thought you were gay." "blake: [ laughs ] [ vocalizing ]" "Ukulele!" "Oh, man, it's getting funny in" "Here!" "[ laughing ] dr." "Von sydow: [ clears" "Throat ] [ sighs ]" "That's it." "Close her up." "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you" "The new and improved chief." "[ applause ] dr." "Helms:" "Wait." "What happened to her curves?" "dr." "Von sydow:" "What are" "You -- look at these curves." "dr." "Helms:" "The curves in" "Her spine, you idiot!" "dr." "Mantzoukas:" "Yeah, where's" "Her one big shoe?" "Boo!" "dr." "Helms:" "Boo!" "chief:" "All right, listen up." "I haven't changed." "My insides are still as" "Differently abled as my body" "Used to be." "I'm still chief, and I'm still" "In charge." "Although he didn't fix my" "Handicapped vagina, so that's" "Still a little weird." "dr." "Mantzoukas:" "Awesome." "dr." "Helms:" "Cool." "chief:" "All right." "Let's turn our attention to the" "Real success story of today " "Dr. Lola spratt's brain tumor." "Blake?" "blake:" "Okay." "I, uh " " I did" "Extract the brain tumor using" "Only the healing power of" "Laughter, so that was a success." "Uh, and she died." "Yeah, sorry." "But look, look, look, look, I" "Wielded the healing power of" "Laughter." "It had had a profound effect on" "Someone." "I mean, yes, granted, not the" "Effect I would have wanted " "Quite the opposite." "But, um, I'm getting there," "Which is why I want to announce" "That I am leaving childrens" "Hospital." "I'm going to start my own" "Private practice." "You might say I'm headed for a" "Bit of a nervous "blake..." "Downs," "M.D.," coming this fall." "So goodbye." "[ slow music plays ] cat:" "Life." "I wish there was another word" "For what life becomes when it's" "Over." "We have so little time." "So we cry..." "And we love..." "And we eat." "That's got to be at least three" "Things we do." "How can we possibly find the" "Time to do anything else?" "[ mid-tempo music plays ]" "corddry:" "Thank you for" "Watching these, the last two" "Episodes of "childrens" "Hospital," the web series." "Um, now as sort of a" "Retrospective, I would love to" "Look back at the series as a" "Whole and sort of show you some" "Of my favorite clips from the" "Season." "I think " " I think you're gonna" "Enjoy them as much as I did." "[ mid-tempo music plays ] blake:" "You know, I once cured" "A case of lou gehrig's disease" "By pretending I was trapped" "Inside a box." "Used to be, I could fix a fuel" "Pump using the healing power of" "Laughter." "I did extract the brain tumor" "Using only the healing power of" "Laughter, so that was a success." "There once was a man from" "Nantucket whose penis was so" "Abnormally large that he could" "Reach it with his own mouth." "Whoa!" "Uh-oh!" "Yeah, I don't know what you're" "Talking about." "Prep the o.R." "Well, I'm not laughing." "What's up?" "[ mid-tempo music plays ]" "holedup,boxedin troubled,inhuman helpmelosethis uneasy injustice" "I'm fat, I'm foul and I'm on my own" "I climbed this mountain all" "Alone"