"# It's...a...wonderful day So be happy and gay" "# And you'll be too busy for sorrow" "# And to keep it this way Make the most of today" "# And worry about tomorrow tomorrow" "# Do you mind if I quote Something some fella wrote?" "# Common sense says Life will be greater" "# If you just learn how To live for now" "# Then worry about later later" "# Comes that urge That impulse to frown" "# Just turn it down, don't obey it" "# Say, with a smile "It can wait for a while!"" "# Sorry, I'll have to delay it and say" "# It's a wonderful day Let's not fuss it away" "# And all of this adds up To this resume" "# Worry about tomorrow tomorrow" "# Worry about later later" "# Worry about another day Another day!" "#" " Good morning!" " Hallelujah(!" ")" "# A good, good morning to ya" "# What's good about morning When you'd rather be in bed?" "Didn't sleep a wink, can't think" "# Wish I were dead Rather be in bed" "# That very dismal mood you're in" "# Is very ineffective" "# You need to pay heed To this terse little verse An earful of cheerful perspective" "# It's a wonderful day So be happy and gay" "# And you'll be too busy for sorrow" "# Here's a hat on display We must close out today" "# And worry about tomorrow tomorrow" "# Zis tres chic chapeau It just has to go" "# It's ideal for a reel-out of data" "# So you must learn how To sell this now" "# And worry about later later" "# Comes that urge That impulse to frown" "# Just turn it down, don't obey it" "# Say, with a smile "It can wait for a while!"" "# Sorry, I'll have to delay it and say" "# It's a Lily Dache It would cost a week's pay!" "# And all of this adds up To this resume" "# Just worry about tomorrow tomorrow" "# Then worry about later later" "# And worry about another day Another day!" "#" "BELL RINGS" "SHOPPERS CHAT" " Well, Polly, another day, another dollar - to COIN a phrase!" " Another thousand dollars, if I'm in luck!" " You've only been here two months - even old John Merlin doesn't expect you to sell this joint out!" " Mary..." " Oh, I think Mr Hargraves is casing us." " Silly!" "Probably wondering how I sell out the place every day." " Good morning!" " May I remind you that John B Merlin  Son is now OPEN?" "!" " You don't need to!" "When you consider all the stuff I've unloaded..." " We don't have STUFF at John B Merlin!" " And..." " You don't unload." "Yes, sir." "I'll be glad when the Christmas rush is over, won't you, Mr Hargraves?" " Oh, not me!" "If we had another week, I could sell..." " I shall be very glad when it's over!" " Mainly on account of Miss Parish." " So I HAVE attracted your attention?" " You certainly have!" " I knew you'd be impressed by my record!" "Excuse me, a pigeon..." "Customer, I mean!" " Morning, JB." " Morning." "In the 47th Street display window is a dummy, wearing a shirt and bow tie." " Let's not have that." " But students..." " Radicals, revolutionists!" " Good morning, JB!" " I saw one of your floor workers, who is making his own suits at home!" "Correct that!" " Yes, sir." "SANTA LAUGHS Merry Christmas!" "HE CONTINUES TO LAUGH" "LAUGHTER STOPS" " Too much padding." "The kids like to sit on your lap and you stick out too far!" " But, sir..." " Yes?" " HE LAUGHS Merry Christmas!" " Merry Christmas!" "Mr Merlin is right - too much padding!" "But it's all ME!" "HE LAUGHS Merry Christmas, kiddies!" " Good morning." " Hello, Esther." "Anything on YOUR minds?" " No." " There never is!" " WE have a personnel matter in ladies' millinery, but it needn't concern you, JB!" " So settle it!" " We will." " Good morning!" " Good morning." " From the weekly report, I see the new recreation periods are working out." "Efficiency is way-y up!" "And speaking of efficiency, Dad - you're late!" " Did you stay all night at a 52nd St jam session so you could say that?" "!" " Dad, it's the East Side now!" " You can't keep going without sleep." " I do my work!" " More than your share - that's what bothers me!" " It's youth!" " Remember?" " .." "Almost!" "You're not too unhappy here, son?" " Music doesn't mean more to you?" " Mmm...no." "You know, back in the 1920s, my idea was to live in Paris and paint." " And I did - then the store needed me, so here I am." " And here" " I - am." "Glad to be aboard." "Let's have no more sentimentality!" " Or music!" " This is a business office!" " BUZZER Mr Merlin is wanted urgently in the employees' lounge." " Wait..." " This must be bad news." "Let me go" " I could handle it best." "Sounds like top-drawer stuff!" " Go and handle it!" "Don't give the store away!" "ALL: # Oh, oh, oh" "# If you wanna talk about something" "# You'll be making no blunder Taking no chance" "# If you take a topic that comes under" "# The category of romance" "# That book way up on the list" "# Is all about love It's all about love" "# That tune you cannot resist" "# Is all about love" "# It's an elementary language Everybody knows" "# Poetry or prose Everybody speaks it" "# And you can call it happiness Call it misery" "# Everybody seeks it" "# In plays, the popular things" "# Are all about love They're all about love" "# In dreams, your craziest dreams Are all about love" "# Let's face it You'll find that you're a fool" "# If you look for something new How can you replace it?" "# A heart is not a thing to build a wall about, a kiss is not a thing that you can stall about" "# If you don't know it's a thing to have a ball about You know nothing at all about love" "ALL: # You know It's all about love" "# And you can take it from me, my friend, it's the common trend" "# It's the end - it's love!" "# Those things that Mother knows best" " # They're all about love" " They're all about love" "# Desires that can't be suppressed" "# They're all about love" "# Didn't Mother Nature give us Pretty greenery, pretty scenery" "# As an inspiration?" "# Love and marriage Are doing wonders for..." "# Mom and POP-ulation!" " # That note that comes with the flowers is all about love" " It's all about love" " # That phone that's tied up for hours is all about love..." " Let's face it!" " # Romance is indispensable" " Let's be sensible How can you replace it?" "# A heart is not a thing to build a wall about, a kiss is not a thing that you can stall about" "# If you don't know it's a thing to have a ball about You know nothing at all about love" "# A heart is not a thing to build a wall about" "# A kiss is not a thing that you can stall about" "# If you don't know it's a thing to have a BRAWL about You know nothing at all about love" "# A heart is not a thing to build a wall about, a kiss is not a thing that you can stall about" "# If you don't know it's a thing to have a brawl about You know nothing...no, nothing" "# You know nothing...at all about" "# Love!" "#" "JARRING NOTES" " Top-drawer stuff, eh(?" ")" " Right!" "Don't tell JB - he doesn't like music!" " I'll be right back." " Good luck." " Thanks." " Hey, gorgeous, what are you getting me for Christmas?" " Freddie, you wouldn't drink it!" " Why the hurry?" " Personnel sent for me." "I think they realise what I do for the store." " This is business." "I saw you dance." " You were so with it!" " Get to the business!" " The Pink Slipper is having a dance contest tonight." " Mmm?" "Rock'n'roll." "The band leader is my friend AND a judge, so it's fixed!" " You still need a girl!" " Second prize is 100 - we split it!" " Freddie, I'm poor, but still proud - no, thanks!" "But...!" "Looking for employment, Miller?" "No, I..." "Oh, excuse me, sir!" "Mr Creely, the young lady from millinery is here, Miss..." "Parish." "I associate ideas to remember names. "Parish" makes me think of church." "Send her in." "Come in, miss." " Sit down, Miss Church." " Thank you." "But it's "Parish"." " Polly Parish." " Yes, Parish." "You are apparently a conscientious worker, so I wanted to talk to you...personally." "Well, I was sure you would... sooner or later." "Oh, were you?" "HE CLEARS THROAT Mr Hargraves is fascinated by your efforts, Miss Ch..." "Parish." " He's such a good man, Mr Hargraves." " I'm glad you think so!" "Unfortunately, he doesn't share the same high opinion of YOU." " I beg your pardon?" " In fact, he wants to fire you." " So do I." " He..." " You what?" " As of tonight." "You will receive the usual severance pay." "You may come to the employees' Christmas party, of course!" " I don't understand." "I sell more than anybody in my department!" " You oversell more than anyone!" " Oh..." " You're just not JB Merlin  Son material." "Yesterday, you sold 23 hats." "Today, 25 came back!" " 25?" " Two were from the day before!" "We can't tolerate young salespeople with buck fever," " who have no idea of the book-keeping expense and bad customer relations you put us to!" " But..." " That is all!" "Yes, sir." "Oh... and a very merry Christmas to you, Miss Church." "The same to you." "What's the matter, gorgeous?" " Are, um..." "Are you sure we can win that money tonight?" " Baby, it's a lead-pipe cinch!" " Then I'll go." " Great, I'll pick you up at 7.00 on the dot." " OK." "Uh..." "AFTER dinner." " Oh, Freddie...!" " Honey, this is real glamorous - it's like money in the bank!" "I'm glad you're so...so... happy?" "!" "Oh, Freddie!" "Are we working you too hard, Miller(?" ") No, I..." "No, sir!" "Sorry, sorry." "Those stupid salesmen - you can't get a hold of them!" "425... 427...425..." "Oh, out to lunch." "Figures." "Inorganic ph..." "Can't even SAY that one!" "Draftsman, automation expert, construc..." "Construction engineer?" "!" "BABY CRIES" "Oh..." "Hello!" " Won't you come in?" " Oh..." "Yes!" ".." "There we are..." "Right in here, Miss, uh...?" "Take your finger out of my mouth." " Your name, please?" " Hmm?" "Polly Parish." " Are you employed?" " Hmm?" "JB Merlin." "Until tonight, that is." "I just lost my job. .." "He's so cute..." "Oh...it isn't MY baby." "It was on the doorstep outside!" "I..." "No, really!" "You see, there it was, about to roll off the top step, and I just ran over, and..." "We're here to help you, my dear." "We're your friends!" "..Look, it isn't mine!" "I wish it were!" "Let me tell you again, so you get this straight." "I was outside the employment agency and I turned and saw this bundle on your steps." "A baby, I thought." "So I ran over and scooped it up so that I could..." "Well..." "Honest injun!" "Many mothers tell us the babies are not their own but, from experience, we know it's wise to admit the truth." "I..." "Oh, now, look here!" "Well, this is ridiculous!" "BABY CRIES" "LOUD CRIES" "HE GURGLES" "Well...!" "Oh!" "BABY CRIES" "For heaven's sake..." "I..." "Oh..." "Oh, no, you don't!" "When I want a family, I'll get married and do it right!" "Oh, no!" "It's YOUR baby, not MY baby!" "BABY CRIES" "It's pathetic!" "The mothers come to us so young these days!" "Ah, well, we know that she'll be at Merlin's until tonight." "And we know that the Merlins are a charitable family...don't we?" "Go right in, Mr Appleby." "JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS" "HE CLEARS THROAT" "Yes?" " YOU'RE Mr Merlin?" " That's right." " I thought you'd be older!" " I will be - it just takes time!" "What can I do for you, Mr...?" " Appleby." "I'm from the Atkins Foundling Home." " Yes?" " An employee of yours, a young lady, left a baby with us today." " Yes?" "I checked with your Mr Creely, and she's been discharged!" "I believe that's why she's abandoned her baby!" " Mr Merlin, give her back her job." " It's not my department!" " Mr Merlin..." "If you saw this mother, denying the parenthood of her own child... it would have touched your heart." " It was pitiful!" " Suppose you sit down and we discuss it calmly?" " Thank you." "Get me Mr Hargraves, please." "Off you go, Miss Parish - to Mr Dan Merlin himself this time!" " You mean he's seen the light - he wants to apologise?" " What he does is top secret!" "At ease, Mr Hargraves!" "What now" " Merlin Junior says a few last words over the body?" "!" "Here is Miss Parish, Mr Merlin." "Uh...sit down..." "MISS Parish?" "Yes, sir." "I'm Miss Parish, Mr Merlin." " I believe you were discharged today, Miss Parish." " Yes, sir." "Of all the ingratitude I've ever heard of...!" " After the way I've worked..." " We want you back." "The loyalty I've..." " You..." "You...you want me back, you say?" " That's what I said." "Well, that's more like it!" " Miss Parish, don't you think you ought to thank Mr Merlin?" " Oh...thank you, Mr Merlin." " You're welcome." "We thought you were trying too hard, overselling." "Now we know the reason." "Well..." "I was sure SOMEBODY would understand!" "By the way, we're raising your salary 10 a week, as of a week ago." "Well, thank you!" "But getting your job back and a raise is not your REAL Xmas present." "N-No?" "No, your Christmas present is the greatest gift a woman could have." "It's coming to you at home tonight." "Perhaps you ought to thank Mr Merlin again?" "Oh...thanks again!" "It was enough giving me my job back, Mr Merlin." " I want you to know I forgive the store and I never hold a grudge!" " That's very big of you." " Goodbye." " Oh, goodbye, sir." "Goodbye, Mr...?" "Merely think of me as your guardian angel!" "Well, goodbye, Santa Claus!" " BUZZ" " Who is it?" "Something from John B Merlin  Son!" "Merry Christmas!" "Holiday greetings from John B Merlin  Son and the Atkins Foundling Home." "Oh..." "Don't thank us." "We've only done our duty." " Just keep doing your duty!" "You take that baby right out of here!" " But...!" "Oh...you're sick!" "Shame on you!" " Do you realise what you're saying?" " Yes, I do - that's not my baby!" " Do you realise Mr Merlin has given you your job back..." " Yes." " ..so that you can raise your child in comfort?" "You want it to be raised as an orphan?" "Oh, now, that's not my baby" " I am not its mother!" "I wouldn't try that, if I were you, and I wouldn't leave it elsewhere, because it'll come back to us... and...we have its footprints!" "Footprints?" "!" "I'm not going to inform Mr Merlin of your attitude." "Gee-ee!" "BABY GURGLES" "Now, listen, uh...baby..." "It's nothing personal, I..." "I'd love to have you around, but..." "Take your finger out of your mouth - you want crooked teeth?" "I really couldn't do right by you..." "No..." "You see..." "I'm alone, too!" "..That's a cute nose!" " Who is it?" " The Arthur Murray of the stock department" " Frisky Freddie!" "Oh, my!" "Oh, uh..." "Just a minute, Freddie!" "Uh..." "Wait just a second!" "There." "Now, no biting." "Be quiet, baby!" "That's good." " LOUD SCREAM" " Oh...!" "That's all I need!" ".." "Just a minute!" ".." "There." "That's it, baby." "Now, be quiet, baby." "Shh!" "Please, quiet, huh, baby?" "Quiet!" "Oh...!" " Oh, uh...hello." "Freddie, I can't..." " What's new and exciting, gorgeous - besides me, I mean?" " Well, uh, Freddie, I..." " Hey!" "Nice joint you've got here!" "Freddie, I can't go out tonight..." " What do you mean?" " Well, I..." "I think I'm gonna have a headache!" " Are you kidding?" "I borrowed my brother's heap so we'd go in style!" " Gee, I'm sorry." " Sorry?" "!" " Well..." "Ah, don't be nervous - it's in the bag!" "Do you hate money?" "!" "The band leader's a pal!" "BABY CRIES" "I just spoke to him on the phone." "BABY CRIES" " Funny, I thought I heard a baby crying!" " H-Here?" "Where was I?" "Oh, yeah, I checked with my pal again, and we can't lose!" "BABY CRIES" " You talked to him, huh?" "What did he say?" " He says it's in the bag!" " Great!" "I DO hear a baby crying!" "Oh..." "THAT?" "Next door." "Keeps me awake." " Sometimes I think I'll go out of my mind!" " That's tough." "Polly, this is not dishonest." "It's just fixed!" "You don't think a guy like me would do anything crooked?" "I'm..." "BABY LAUGHS" "What did it do - crawl through the wall?" "!" "You mean you didn't see the stork flying through(?" ")" "Oh...!" "Come on, baby." "Upsy-daisy." " Is it yours?" " No, it isn't mine." " Then where did it come from?" " I got it for Christmas(!" ")" " This Christmas or last?" "!" "Freddie, question and answer period is over." " I'm not going out tonight and that's that!" " It sure is!" " I got my troubles." " You sure have!" "Well, I can't win the contest without you, so I'll stay!" "I'm a family man!" " Goodnight, Freddie." " Hey, wait a minute!" "Wait a minute!" " I just meant a nice, quiet evening in with the kiddies!" "That's not so bad!" " Goodnight, Freddie!" " I just..." "Hey, I just thought..." "Old Man Merlin is on TV about now!" "Getting an award - for penny-pinching in the retail business, probably!" " Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." " Good evening!" "ANNOUNCER:" "Tonight, we meet two generations of a great family - the Merlins." " Big deal(!" ")" " May I present Mr John B Merlin and his son Dan Merlin, in the library of their delightful home at 236 East 63rd Street, New York City." " ANNOUNCER:" "Good evening, gentlemen." " Good evening, Bill." " Oh, hi, Mr Rand." " JB, I'll bet you have some interesting..." " Yes." " Oh, I'll bet(!" ")" " Let me first say that the magic word for success in merchandising is decentralisation." " Absolutely, JB(!" ")" " We're going out after all." " Yeah." "See you in the morning, JB!" "You're not taking that along?" "!" " Only part-way - come on!" " You can't..." "You can't take the baby - it's fixed!" "Our success formula is alert merchandising - to put stores where it is easy to shop." " A merchandising man who can't accept the impact of modern living is a dinosaur!" " Thank you." " Suburban life and the automobile have changed..." " Yes, we all agree, JB." "But now the younger generation." "Dan, what...?" " I..." " Dan is first and foremost a real merchandising executive!" " I certainly agree with that, but..." " let's make it personal." " I go along..." " I know you like to sing, Dan, so why not give our audience a sample?" " OK!" " Keep your eye on the camera with the red light." " What?" " The camera with the red light." "Dan, have you any special romantic interest you can tell us about?" "Any one girl?" "Oh, I dunno..." "HE STARTS PLAYING" "Although the love of my life and I have never met, I guess as yet..." "# It wasn't meant to be" "# I'm sure Father Time Hand in hand with destiny" "# Is bound to get around to me" "# From what I say, you can gather" "# I face the future rather" "# Optimistically" "# Someday soon" "# On a strange and magic street" "# We will meet, my love, yes" "# You will come along" "# All the joys That were ever denied me" "# All at once Will be walking beside me" "# Somehow, someday soon" "# My sad heart will change its tune" "# From a blue lament Into a beautiful song" "# Until then, I'll keep waiting" "# Waiting, waiting, waiting" "# Patiently" "# Deep inside, this longing grows" "# So, as the old expression goes" "# Someday soon" "# Can't come too soon" "# For me" "# Deep inside, this longing grows" "# So, as the old expression goes" "# Someday soon" "# Can't come too soon" "# For me. #" "That was beautiful, Dan." "And someone else is waiting patiently, so we'd better get back to your father." "This won't take any time at all!" "Goodbye, baby." "You most certainly are cute." " I'd like to see Mr Merlin." " Shh!" " The young one." "Would you tell me, madam, in reference to what?" "I can't take care of this baby - it's his responsibility!" "  But..." " He got me into this, so he must get me out!" " My dear madam, the only way you could see Mr Merlin is on your television set." " Oh, no, you don't!" "Madam,youcannotleaveitthere !" "That baby is as much Mr Merlin's as mine!" "Goodbye, baby!" " Madam, I cannot accept..." " Come on, let's go!" " Yeah, let's go - here!" " All right." "Oh...!" " Oh, the keys!" " Freddie, in the car, the car!" " Oh, they're in the car!" "ENGINE SPLUTTERS" "Oh...!" "And now, Mr John B Merlin, on behalf of the National Retail Merchandisers..." "THEY MOUTH" " ..to present you with..." "A baby!" " Nonsense!" " Are you out of your mind, Adams?" " No, sir." " Well, why...?" " A young lady left this for you, sir." " For me?" " Yes." " I said we were not receiving guests, but..." " Where is she?" " She left." " Left?" "!" "Come on!" "There she goes!" "We can catch them!" "There they are, sir - at the corner!" " Great(!" ") You thought you would have a headache and I got one!" " Where are you going?" " To drop you off!" "Oh, no, you don't." "You promised me some prize money and I'll need it!" " You think I'm mad, dancing with a friend of the boss?" " Don't be silly!" "I got that baby by mistake," " and young Merlin is the only one who can straighten it out!" " Look, I don't wanna be SEEN with anyone he knows!" "Well, you can take a chance he won't be dancing at The Pink Slipper!" "That's right!" "Oh..." " The young lady is a perfect stranger to me, sir." " Not to ME, she isn't!" "JAZZY DANCE MUSIC" "That's their car." "They're inside." "Here you are, sir." "Nobody gets in without a ticket, buster!" "How many?" " Three!" " That'll be 3." "Here's your change!" "DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES" " How do you find anybody?" " What colour dress is your wife wearing?" "We'll help!" " I haven't got a wife!" "Well, don't try and influence us judges with that baby!" "You dance with a dame, no babies!" "BABY LAUGHS" "That's her!" " Take this." " Again?" " Would you like to enter this contest with me?" " This is very sudden..." "Let's go, handsome!" "Give it all you've got, baby, but warm up slow" " I've already been sick!" "He's a troublemaker - keep an eye on him!" "Lyle, take the gate!" "Sorry, pal - come back again soon(!" ")" "I must be crazy" " I thought I saw young Merlin!" "You didn't see Old Man Merlin too?" "!" "Sister, off the floor!" "I said you were through!" "Come on, out!" "Oh...!" "Gee, I'm sorry!" " This is the worst night of my life." " Why, you...!" " Take your hands off me!" " I knew this guy was gonna be trouble!" "Coming right up, mac!" " Your baby, sir." " Thanks, Adams(!" ")" " Hey, bud, we're going inside." "If you describe your wife, we'd be happy to..." " Oh, shut up!" " Excuse me(!" ")" " Ah..." "You said it was in the bag!" " How did I know we'd be so good we'd win..." " first prize?" " Oh..." " Goodnight, Freddie." " Goodnight!" " Goodnight, Freddie!" " Mm-hm..." " Well, goodnight, Freddie." " How about having a drink together, gorgeous?" " I haven't any liquor." " You got water!" " They...turned it off!" " You're not going to stand here and let a man die of thirst?" " Well..." " Water!" " Water!" " Shh!" " Shh!" " Hello, M-M-M-M..." " Shh!" " I'm sorry, I was dying of thirst and Polly wanted a drink!" " I...?" " I didn't..." "No, you're right." "Goodnight, boss!" "Shh!" " Mr Merlin, may I ask...?" " Shh!" " (May I ask what you're doing in my...?" ")" "THE..." "The landlady was kind enough to let me - us - in out of the cold!" "We've been here for two hours - crying all the time!" " Well, I'm sorry." " You should be." " Listen..." " YOU listen..." "Come here." "You are going to listen to me." "Your conduct is the worst I've ever seen." " Would it interest you to know I'm not the mother?" " Denying your own child - that's low!" " All right - are you through?" " No." "No, I have just one small thing to add." "You're fired!" "And when you look for another job, don't give us as a reference, because if you do..." "I'll explain your charming character to them personally!" " Why, that's...that's persecution!" " Call it whatever you want!" " HE CLEARS THROAT" " Miss Parish?" "Have you decided to ask for your job back?" "Or will you let that baby starve?" "Hmm?" "BABY GURGLES" " I'd like my job back, Mr Merlin." " Well, that's better!" "Miss Parish, I want you to know I'm only doing this for your own good." "I'm...not as bad as you think." "Isn't there some legal way to make the father support the baby?" " I don't want to have anything to do with him." " You don't?" "He used to beat me!" " He didn't?" "!" " He did." "See that?" "Coffee pot!" " Why, that...!" " Ah..." "Don't you worry about a thing." "The store is behind you...and the baby." " Oh, Mr Merlin..." "The baby didn't do THAT to you!" " Oh...no." "You see, uh..." "I went dancing, too." " Goodnight." " Oh, goodnight!" " Thank you." "Goodnight!" " Goodnight." "Gee-ee!" "Well, thanks for the job, anyway." "Listen, we'd better get undressed." "KNOCK ON DOOR" "Oh, my." "BABY GURGLES" " I wanna talk to you." " I was just going to bed." " About the baby." " The baby..." "You see, I was fired from my job today, and..." "You won't believe it." "Then I got my job back, but the reason..." "Oh, you won't go for it!" "Then I lost my job, and..." "The baby came, he was delivered..." "Oh, it's just getting worse!" "Mrs Dugan, what am I going to do?" "Oh, uh..." "Well..." " you got to take care of your little baby." " Oh, Mrs Dugan!" "Oh..." "Oh!" "Mrs Dugan!" " Mrs Dugan, that's not my little baby!" " He looks just like you!" "Hey, you're a cutie!" "Your mother and me are going to have a lot of fun taking care of you!" " You seem kinda damp." "Seems kinda damp!" " Damp?" " Oh..." " What's its name?" "Joan!" "JOHN?" "That's a nice name!" "Polly." "Psst!" " Oh..." " How about putting in a good word for me - to you-know-who?" " Don't talk so loud - you'll wake me." " Polly, the assistant floor-walker's job is open in this section!" "A word from you to you-know-who and I could stop pushing this stupid truck." "Miller?" "Get that truck out of the aisle." "Yes, sir!" "That's it, Miss Parish." "Don't try too hard." "Don't oversell." "Oh..." " Crowded today, Dan." " Oh, pardon me for a moment." "How are you?" "Mmm..." "I..." "I can hear you all right, but I can't see you." "Haven't been asleep for two nights." "Other people have babies." "They manage." " But I got mine so suddenly!" " The world is full of surprises." " Oh, Dan?" " Yes?" " Mother and child doing well, I take it?" " As well as can be expected." " Good morning, Mr Dan!" " Good morning." " How is our little mother?" "Beat, Mr Hargraves." "Very beat." "Hargraves." "Yes?" "Aren't you short an assistant floor-walker here?" "Yes." "On a seniority basis, Fred Miller is entitled to the promotion." "He's an idiot, but he's been here a long time!" "Inform the idiot of his good luck." "But..." "Miller!" "Yes, sir?" "I've been watching your work." "It's...adequate." "Thank you, sir." "Tomorrow, report to me in a blue suit and take a carnation." "You follow?" "Yes, sir!" "Thank you, sir!" "A SMALL carnation." "Yes, sir!" "Go-o-orgeous!" "That's what I call service!" "What...?" "KNOCK ON DOOR" "One more bite." "Hup, hup, here we go. .." "In!" "R-R-R-Rup!" "Isn't that the most disgusting stuff you've ever tasted?" "Nobody can cook it like me!" " KNOCK ON DOOR" " Come in!" " Good evening!" " Hi!" "Come on in." "I was walking through the book department and saw this." ""How To Bring Up Your Baby Scientifically" by Dr Ernest Egelman." "I couldn't put it down!" "I'll probably be too busy taking care of the baby to read it!" "W-Want to sit down?" "OK, let's have a big one." " Come on, a big one." " How do you know you're doing that right?" "Uh..." "Well, baby opens his mouth, I put the food in and he swallows it!" "From there on, he's on his own." " Come on, now." " Here we are - "Feeding", with a capital F!" "That figures!" "There you go." ""Now, after the food is prepared," ""the mother will" " A - get a spoon..."" "Could THIS be one(?" ") Hmm!" ""B - take a spoonful of food and..." ""..place on a piece of gauze."" " What?" " Place on a piece of gauze!" "What for?" "Miss Parish... will you please do as the book says?" " A doctor with 20 years' experience should know what he's talking about - believe me!" " Oh..." "Well..." "Oh..." "Next?" ""And gently rub into the navel."" ""And gently rub into the..." ""navel"!" "Oh, this is ridiculous!" "Miss Parish, you see, it's probably to adjust the temperature of the baby's stomach to the food!" "I think it's very logical!" "Well..." "Well, I'll see..." "Oh, I never heard of such a thing!" " This book..." " Let me see that book!" " I read very well" " I've done it for years!" " I read too, Mr Merlin!" ""Take a spoonful of food and...place on a piece of gauze and gently rub into the navel"!" "THAT is exactly what I said!" "Well, I am not rubbing any food into this baby's navel!" "SHE CLEARS THROAT" ""To relieve gas on a child's stomach," ""take a spoonful of warm oil and..." ""place on a piece of gauze and gently rub into the navel"!" " A few Christmas presents from John B Merlin  Son." " Thank you, John B Merlin  Son!" " I'll put them under the tree." " Come on, I'll put you to sleep." "Come on." " Oh!" " Excuse me." " Pardon me." "# Hush-a-bye" "# Rock-a-bye" "# Listen to my lullaby in blue" "# Blue-lue-lue-lue Lue-lue-lue-lue-lue-lue-lue. #" " Psst!" "Psst!" " # How I love my pretty baby" "# Sweet and precious pretty baby" "# How I love my pretty baby" "# Honest to goodness, I do" "# See, here" "# Sandman's a-coming And he'll be here... #" " BUZZING - # Mighty, mighty soon" "# And if you don't cry... #" " BUZZING - # He'll be dropping by With the great big lollipop moon" " # Dream, dream, dream" " How I love my pretty baby" " # Be an angel" " Sweet and precious pretty baby... #" " BUZZING - # Be a darling, I love my baby" " How I love my pretty baby" "BOTH: # Honest to goodness, I do" "# Honest to goodness, I do" "# Blue-lue-lue-lue-lue-lue-lue-lue Lue-lue-lue. #" "# How I love my pretty baby" "# Sweet and precious pretty baby" "# How I love my pretty baby" "# Honest to goodness, I do" "# See, here" "# Sandman's a-coming and he'll..." "# Be here mighty, mighty soon" " # And if you don't CRY... #" " Shh!" "# He'll be dropping by With the great big lollipop moon" " # Dream, dream, dream, be an angel" " How I love my pretty baby" " # Dream, dream, dream, be a darling" " Sweet and precious pretty baby" " # I love my pretty baby" " How I love my pretty baby" "BOTH: # Honest to goodness, I do" "# Honest to goodness, I do" "# Blue-lue-lue-lue-lue-lue-lue-lue Lue-lue-lue. #" " Can I fix you a coffee?" " No, thanks." "I have some unfinished business - a board of directors' meeting." " Oh." "Oh, I forgot..." "Give this to the baby." " BUZZING" " OH!" "Goodnight!" " Oh!" " BABY CRIES" " Shh!" "# Oh, he wouldn't stay for coffee" "# And I'm just a little bit upset" "# I wonder if "the board of directors"" "# Is a blonde, a redhead or brunette!" "#" "Looking for employment, Breckenridge?" "No, sir." "No, SIR!" "It's not going to pull you - you have to push it!" "Go, boy!" "Go!" "Yes, sir!" "Break it up, Mary." "Sure, JB(!" ")" "Polly, can I talk to you alone?" "No." "I'm talking to Polly!" "Listen, I'm going to a costume party." "You come as what you OUGHT to be." " Will you take a rock and crawl out from under it?" " Keep out of this!" "Do you want to come and kick up your heels?" "Speaking of heels..." "I told you to keep out of this!" " How about it, baby?" "You'd be going first-class, it's all free!" " Talk to my lawyer!" ".." "Lawyer?" "Have you thought of dropping dead?" "We would step over you." " I ought to report you." " Report us both!" " Oh...!" "Uh-uh..." "Think I'm crazy?" " I - think he's crazy!" "And you, Miss Hawkins?" "I never give any thoughts to the peasants, Miss Parish." " Louise King, please." "This is Mr Merlin." " 'Hello?" "'" " Hi, Louise?" " 'I'm sorry, but...'" " What have I done now?" "Nothing, dear." "Absolutely nothing." "But are you under the impression that we have a date tonight?" "!" "Yes, uh..." "I'm afraid I am!" "Well, the last thing you said to me, ten days ago, was that you'd call!" " I should apologise...the usual rush at the store..." " I'm very sorry(!" ")" "You'll just have to go stag tonight!" " Well, thanks anyway, Louise." "I'll find someone." " Oh, of course, darling(!" ")" "It's New Year's Eve." "And it's after 8.00!" "Happy New Year(!" ")" "PHONE SLAMS DOWN" " Oh, Polly, I hate to leave you alone like this." " I'm not alone..." "No..." " I sort of hoped, uh..." " What?" " That Dan might give you a buzz." " On New Year's Eve?" "Imagine where he's going - and all the girls who'd like to go with him." " Polly, why not tell him the truth about Johnny?" " Much too complicated!" "Besides, he'd never believe me." " You know, it's funny..." " Hmm?" " Well, at first I was afraid they wouldn't take Johnny back." "Now I'm afraid they might!" " You're really serious about keeping Johnny, aren't you?" " He looks like me." "Come on, you'll be late for the party." " You're wasting valuable time." " Oh, they'll wait!" "Well..." "Happy New Year...to the Parishes." "The same to you...from us!" " Aw-w..." "Bye." " Bye." "Now, then." "It'll soon be New Year's and we'll open a warm bottle of milk!" ".." "Champagne, I mean!" "Come on!" "You got to get in the mood!" "Come on, now." "Here's a hat for baby!" "And a hat for Polly!" "There!" "That's the spirit!" "Come on..." "Ready?" "TOOT" "Ooh!" "Whee-ee!" "That's my fella!" "That's my boy." "# How I love my pretty baby" "# I love every little thing you do" "# And every time that you make patty cake" "# My heart makes a patty cake too. #" " KNOCK ON DOOR" " Oh..." "Mary must have forgotten something." "Yeah!" "She did." " Cinderella?" " Oh, Mr Merlin!" " I'm in a great hurry, and so are you!" " We're going to a party!" "Miss Parish, you're not dressed yet!" " Stood up?" " What?" " You were stood up!" " I told her I'd phone and I forgot to." "Get your coat!" " Oh, I can't go!" "Johnny!" " Don't worry." "Mrs Dugan?" " Mrs Dugan will baby-sit." " I can take my "date" downstairs." " Get your coat!" " All right!" " Oh, no..." " No?" "!" " I haven't any clothes!" " I thought of that too!" "Get your coat!" " All right!" "HE WHISTLES "Lullaby In Blue"" " All right." "Goodnight, Johnny!" " Happy New Year!" " Happy New Year!" " Yeah..." "Happy New Year!" "Come on, boy." "Wait right here." "Mr Merlin?" "Dan?" "M-Merlin?" "ROMANTIC MUSIC" "HE WHISTLES" "HE WOLF-WHISTLES" "DANCE-BAND MUSIC" "Oh, you can sure hear those wolves howling on these cold winter nights!" "Sit down, gentlemen!" "No point to my introducing this young lady." "Her father is a Swedish manufacturer and she doesn't speak any English!" "HE SPEAKS MOCK-SWEDISH" "SHE SPEAKS MOCK-SWEDISH" "Dan, where did YOU learn Swedish?" "I spent two weeks in Sweden..." "last year." "It's a very simple language." "HE SPEAKS MOCK-SWEDISH" "Sven!" "She just said the funniest thing!" "She's a very witty girl!" "Dan, how do you say "dance" in Swedish?" " Uh..."rovo"." " Ja?" " Rovo, mademoiselle?" "Smorgas!" "Sven!" "TANGO MUSIC" "RUMBA MUSIC" "MUSIC STOPS" "Can you say "thanks" in Swedish, Dan?" "BOTH SPEAK MOCK-SWEDISH" "Oh..." "How do you say "I'm hungry" in Swedish?" "Uh..."Samsa DANCING!"" " Let's get out of here and I'll get you something to eat!" " Let's go!" " You're not going, are you?" " Sorry, we have another stop to make." "Uh..." "Jor-na "Happy New Year"!" "Oh..." "Oppy New Ye-e-ear!" "Oppy New Ye-e-ear!" "ALL:" "Oppy New Year!" "Ah, ja!" "I don't blame him for wanting to go, the way you fellas monopolised her!" " Leaving so soon?" " We promised to drop in on some other people." " Tell me, Louise, how did I do?" " Not bad for a fill-in!" "Personally, I'd rather go stag!" "You could, with that short haircut!" "DAN GIGGLES" "Oppy New Ye-e-ear!" "JAZZY MUSIC" " Little ahead of time, aren't they?" " Doesn't matter what year it is - that goes on all the time!" "CLOCK CHIMES" "ALL: # Should auld acquaintance be forgot" "# And never brought to mind?" "# Should auld acquaintance be forgot" "# And days of auld lang syne?" "# For auld lang syne, my dear" "# For auld lang syne" "# We'll take a cup o' kindness yet" "# For auld lang syne" "# Should auld acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind...?" "#" "HOOTERS DROWN OUT SPEECH" "# .." "For the sake of auld lang syne" "# For auld lang syne, my dear For auld lang syne" "# We'll take a cup o' kindness yet" "# For auld lang syne. #" "Oh..." " Oh, all I want to do is sit down!" " Where were you?" "I tried to find you." " I tried to find you too, and I took the subway home." " It doesn't take that long to come downtown!" "It does when you forget to put money in your 90 purse!" "Oh...!" "Oh, my feet will need retreading, and I'm hoarse from saying "Happy New Year" to all the drunks!" " I'm sorry." " Oh... but I had a wonderful time, Dan." "The best night of my life." "So did I, Polly." "Except I didn't dance one dance or get a single New Year's kiss!" "Special rule No 4 - "Any employee fraternising with an executive is subject to instant dismissal." ""Signed, John B Merlin."" "Miss Parish... you're fired." "Mr Merlin!" "You're...rehired." "On second thought...you're fired!" "I think I'd better have my...job back...right away!" "You're hired!" "I..." "I feel kind of strange!" "You know something?" "I feel the same way!" "# I never felt" "# This way before" "# I never dreamed" "# That this would happen" "# A warm caress" "# From more or less a stranger" "# And oh, so suddenly" "# You mean oh, so much to me" "# I never felt" "# I could melt this way before" "# Or that a kiss" "# Could take my heart for granted" "# Night after night" "# I've waited and I've wondered Darling, where you are" "# And there you are" "# What a breathless love affair you are" "# I may not know how real Or how unreal" "# This may be" "# I only know I never felt this way" "# Before. #" "Goodnight." " Goodnight." " And "Smorgas", for the start of a perfect new year." "Smorgas to you!" "Well... goodnight!" "Goodnight." "HE SIGHS" "# I never felt" "# I could melt this way before" "# Or that a kiss" "# Could take my heart for granted" "# Night after night" "# I've waited and I've wondered Darling, where you are" "# And there you are" "# What a breathless love affair you are" "# I may not know how real Or how unreal" "# This may be" "# I only know" "# I never felt this way... #" "Oh, I'm..." "Happy New Year!" "No..." "Smorgas?" "Watch our property!" "This head is worth more than yours is!" "Don't just stand here - back to..." "You lost your head!" "Right, stupid, clean it up!" "Hold your breath!" "I've said it before and I'll say it again - he is an idiot!" "Remember, he is YOUR idiot!" "Hiya, gorgeous, did you miss a ball on New Year's Eve!" " A miss is as good as a mile, they say!" " Agh!" " That's OK, honey - no hard feelings!" "I still go for the domestic type!" "I thought this weekend..." " Freddie..." "You have the lowest mind and the highest hopes." "And if you don't stop bothering me, I'll report you." " Hey, now, wait a minute!" " Uh-oh, Dan Merlin!" " The number one boy, eh?" "We don't want to lose our connections!" " How's the baby?" " Fine, thank you!" "He sleeps on his stomach all the time." " And you?" " Well, not on my stomach...but all the time!" " In that case, would you like to go for a drive on Sunday?" "I'd love to, but your car may be a little cool for the baby." "Yes, I..." "I suppose it would." " I'll be in the park Sunday - with all the other mothers." " Oh..." "I'll try to get over." "Well..." "Oh..." " Creely, do you have a personnel problem?" " Yes, young Miller." "His carnation has gone to his head!" " If it's OK, I'll put him back in stock." " That's up to Mr Hargraves." "He's head of the flower brigade!" "Take the controls, Hargraves." "Yes, sir!" "Good morning, Mr Hargraves!" "I trust young Dan didn't have anything troublesome on his mind?" "Do you follow me?" "Miller, we've decided you're an idio...you're inadequate." "Report back to the stockroom!" "But..." "I see you got your flower picked." "Put this away until summer, BOY!" "They can't do this!" "I know where the body's buried!" "So crawl in with it!" "Grr-r!" "I'll talk to Mr Creely." ""Mr John..." "B..."" "HUSKY VOICE:" "This is for JB Merlin, personally." "Very good, sir." "Will you wait for a reply?" "Wait?" "Reply?" "No!" "No!" " Letter for you, sir." " Where's Mr Dan?" " He went for a walk in the park, sir." ""This is to let you know that you're a grandfather."" ""This is to let you know that you're a grandfather." Grandfather?" "!" "No-o!" ""If you don't believe me, ask your son and a girl whose name I shan't mention!" "Yours truly, a friend."" "Grandfather!" "grandfather!" "Oh..." "ADAMS!" " ADAMS!" " Sir?" " What park?" " I'm sorry?" " What park did Mr Dan go to?" " One downtown, sir." " Downtown is full of parks!" " Yes, sir." " Get my hat!" " Yes." "Coat!" "Tie!" "Vest!" "Shirt!" "Overcoat!" "Scarf!" " There we go!" " Hi!" " Oh, hello, Dan!" " Morning, Johnny!" " HE GURGLES" " What does that mean?" " Good morning!" "Oh..." "I beg your pardon, John." "Well, thank you!" "Oh...the news of my raise came through yesterday." "Do I deserve two in a row?" "How can I ever thank you?" "Answer number one - yes." " Answer number two - you needn't try." "I had selfish reasons for giving you more pay." " Nothing personal, I hope?" " Well, sort of." "Old John Parish here is involved." " I don't understand." "Now you can afford a part-time nurse." "Hire Mrs Dugan." " Johnny won't be on your hands so much." " But I want him on my hands!" " You seem to have come a long way for a girl who wouldn't admit he was yours." " Well, I..." "He looks like me!" "Doesn't he look like the coffee pot thrower?" "!" "Yes, I..." "I suppose he looks like him." " Maybe that'll bring him back." "He may want..." " No, he won't." " That baby's mine, Dan, and he'll stay mine." " Yours and the coffee pot thrower's!" "We'd better stop this discussion." "I'm not experienced enough to take care of TWO babies!" " Well..." "Nice, bright day!" "Perfect day for the park!" " Mr Merlin!" " Dad!" " Polly, this is my father." " How do you do?" " How do you do?" "And who is this?" "This is Miss Parish's little boy." "A boy!" "Would you mind - if I were careful - would you let me hold him, just a minute?" "Of course, Mr Merlin." "MR MERLIN CHUCKLES" "BABY GURGLES" "I know that chin!" " What's his name?" " Uh..." "John!" "Thanks for that, anyway." "Is there something I can do for you, sir?" "Oh, you've done it!" " I wouldn't keep John out much longer." "It's chilly." " Dad?" "You're acting strangely." " What's the matter?" " I will discuss this with you at home." "Good day, uh..." "MISS Parish." "Oh, no!" "Excuse me!" "Dad!" "Dad!" "Wait a minute!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Oh-h-h!" "Oh, Johnny!" "You trap everybody!" " Look here...!" " Now...!" " Morning, sir." " Good morning, Adams." "BOTH TOGETHER:" "Now...!" " I - do the talking. 20 years I've been waiting." "What for?" "A grandson!" "But, Dad..." "Oh, excuse me, sir." " Dad..." " My grandson needs a decent home!" "Respectable married parents!" " Listen..." " Not until you're honest!" "Just listen..." "Oh...excuse me, sir." " Now..." " Dan, you're going to marry that girl and bring my grandson into this house!" " You haven't any grandson!" " Can't you understand?" " Do you think I'm in my dotage?" "!" "I saw the baby, the girl and you!" "And I have other information - a letter!" "I'd know that baby anywhere." "He looks exactly like me!" "I don't know if you need a psychiatrist - you may - but you certainly need glasses!" "Oh, do I?" "Let me tell you what I'm going to do, with or without glasses." "I'm going to have my grandchild, in spite of you or his mother!" "Even if I have to go to the Supreme Court!" " You are the stubbornest man I ever saw!" " Don't you dare leave without my permission!" "Haven't we any spoons in this house?" "!" "Oh..." "Excuse me, sir." "KNOCK ON DOOR" "(Just a minute!" ")" " Hi!" " Hi." "Oh..." "Don't laugh - the joke may be on you!" " What?" " My father wants the baby." "He's probably sending for lawyers." " He can't!" "Johnny belongs to me!" " Then dig up that coffee pot thrower to testify..." " I..." "I can't." "You must take me to see your father!" "You don't understand." "He's gone off the reservation and he's doing war whoops!" ".." "He wanted me to marry you." "He wanted to set up a ready-made family just so he'd have a grandson." "He's gone crazy!" "Well... he must be... if he thought I'D marry you!" " Oh, Polly..." "I didn't mean it that way!" " Please go!" " I didn't realise how that sounded!" " The baby's taking..." "Please go!" " Polly..." " Please!" "Mrs Dugan, I'm in terrible trouble!" " I think I'll have to leave town." "He's getting lawyers." "He's going to take Johnny!" " Who, young Mr Merlin?" "No, old Mr Merlin." "He thinks Johnny's his grandson!" " Ain't he?" " No!" "You see, that day on my lunch hour, I just happened to be going..." "Oh, I wish I could explain, Mrs Dugan, but I..." " Oh..." " That's Mike, my sister's son, down from Harvard for the weekend." "Miss Parish is the one with Johnny. .." "Harvard - they all look that way!" " Hi." " Hi!" " He'll send someone to ask me questions and I won't be able to answer them!" "Miss Parish, this situation suggests that if your infant had a father, there would be no need for concern!" " They generally do, you know." " I kn..." "Yes...that's right!" "Yeah... we just need an old man for Johnny!" "No, I'm too young and innocent!" "Hey, Daddy, where's the cigars?" "What cigars?" "!" "HE WHISTLES" " Miller!" "I want to talk to you." " Yes, sir?" " You know Miss Parish well, don't you?" " Polly?" "I hardly know her name!" " Who's the father of her baby?" " Not me!" " Did you ever meet the father?" " No, sir." "I don't think there is one!" " What?" "!" " I think she got it like... winning a raffle!" " Miller?" " Yes, sir?" " Would you like your carnation back?" " Would I?" "!" " All right, come with me." " Yes, sir." " We have Mr Wharton on the phone, sir." " Wharton?" "Hold this." "Don't drop it." " Hello." " Mr and Mrs Clancy are here." " Never heard of them." "Throw them out!" ".." "Wharton, where are you?" "Skiing?" "!" " A lawyer, your age?" " It's about the baby." " I need you here." "Something..." "MY baby?" "Well, show them in!" ".." "No, Wharton, I wasn't talking to you." "I haven't had a baby!" "Please be seated." "Mrs Clancy?" "I thought you were Miss Parish." "Oh, that's the name I go by at the store." "Mr Clancy" " Mike - and I have been married for two years." "Y-Yes, sir." "Two years." "Give or take a few weeks." " Your son told us there seems to be some misunderstanding about...our baby." " YOUR baby?" "Yes, sir." "Mrs Clancy is the mother and I, of course..." "I hope that clears up any wrong ideas you may have had." "It's as though there had been a death in the family." "Now, then, Dad, here is the father!" "Uh, Mr Merlin, my wife" " Miss Parish - is a...is...is... is a very nervous woman, and...and your son told me... that you...you want to take our son away from us." "Uh..." "You scared Miss Parish!" "Mr Merlin, just how much, I ask you, are we supposed to give up for the store?" " Hmm?" " See him?" "That's the father SHE brought round!" "You two have slipped up - you've got one too many!" " So...you finally showed up?" " I was unable to arrive more promptly" " I am at university!" " That was charming, running out on her, so you could go to school(!" ")" " Dan, it's all over." "The jig is up!" "Come here." "You know what this is?" " As an assumption, I'd say a coffee pot!" " That's a good assumption from you!" " Ow!" " You can't do that!" " Who's going to stop me?" " You're not impressing me!" " As for you, I'm going to prosecute you for...something!" " Mr Merlin, your son made me do it" " HE'S the father!" " HE'S the father!" " I'm not, I'm a Harvard man!" "Wait..." "I don't care who the father is" " I'M the grandfather!" "Sir, "Mother" just left." " Left?" "!" " She'll take the baby!" "THEY ALL SHOUT" "You're a Harvard man?" "!" " Which tenant do you want?" " You know!" " She's gone!" " Where's my grandson?" " Gone too!" " She hasn't had time to go!" " Hasn't had time!" " Go ahead" " I've got the key!" " Mr Dugan, I must see her." " I'm not going to bandy words with you - where's that child?" " Where is my grandchild?" "Answer me, woman!" "I am John B Merlin, chairman of the company!" " Mrs Dugan..." "I have money, lawyers and a vindictive personality!" " Mrs..." " Now I've explained to a woman of limited brains, what do you say?" "Where did you get that hat, John?" "!" "BABY GURGLES" "Polly?" "Mrs Dugan, please, she must be..." "Hello, darling, coochy-coochy-coochy!" " You're old enough for a grandfather, anyway!" " Thank you!" ".." "Coochy-coochy!" "Why don't you leave me alone?" " I can't." " Well, you'll have to from now on!" "Go away!" " I can't." "You're not going to get Johnny - you, your father or anybody!" "I love him!" "He looks like me!" " My father says Johnny looks like HIM." " Let me tell you something..." " I'm listening." " I found Johnny, and finders are keepers!" "You just try to get him!" " That's the other Merlin." "I'm the young one!" " Mr Merlin, you can believe it or not." "I was looking for a job - and Johnny was on the steps of the home..." "You wouldn't believe it." "Nobody does." " I do." " Oh, sure you..." " You do?" " Now, I have something to tell YOU." " What?" "I'M the father of that baby." "You are?" "Dan?" "That's the first true thing you've said all day!" "# Into my life" "# Came a bundle of joy" "# Now the joy of my life Is to share it all with you" "# And what will we find" "# In a bundle of joy?" "# We will find peace of mind" "# And most of our dreams come true" "# There will be smiles" "# Intermingled with tears" "# And those promising years We can both look forward to" "# And so, aren't we" "# A fortunate girl, a fortunate boy?" "# To share a bundle of joy" "# That's wrapped with blessings from above" "# And tied with a ribbon" "# Of everlasting" "# Love!" "#"