"So here's what you missed on Glee..." "Consider this the opening salvo of World War Sue." "I'm asking you for your help to destroy the Glee Club." "I will not stop until your little Glee Club is annihilated into oblivion." "I swear to sweet holy Satan I will end you." "And that's what you missed on Glee." "All right, let's see what you guys have been working on." "(Clean Bandit's "Rather Be" begins)" "♪ Oh ♪" "♪ Oh, whoa ♪" "♪ Oh, yeah ♪" "♪ We're a thousand miles from comfort ♪" "♪ We have traveled land and sea ♪" "♪ But as long as you are with me ♪" "♪ There's no place I'd rather be ♪" "♪ I will wait forever ♪" "♪ Exalted in the scene ♪" "♪ As long as I am with you ♪" "♪ My heart continues to beat ♪" "♪ With every step I take ♪" "♪ Kyoto to the Bay, strolling so casually ♪" "♪ Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum ♪" "♪ We're different and the same ♪" "♪ Gave you another name ♪" "♪ Switch up the batteries ♪" "♪ If you gave me a chance, I would take it ♪" "♪ It's a shot in the dark, but I'll make it ♪" "♪ Know with all of your heart you can't shake me ♪" "♪ When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be ♪" "♪ No, no, no, no place I'd rather be ♪" "♪ When I am with you, there's no place ♪" "♪ I'd rather be ♪" "♪ Yeah ♪" "♪ Be ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ If you gave me a chance, I would take it ♪" "♪ It's a shot in the dark, but I'll make it ♪" "♪ Know with all of your heart you can't shake me ♪" "♪ When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be ♪" "♪ Be... ♪" "♪ No place I'd rather be ♪" "♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪" "♪ No place I'd rather be ♪" "♪ When I am with you ♪" "♪ There's no place I'd rather be. ♪" "All right!" "Great job, guys." "That was really impressive." "Thank you so much." "Okay, now I know you guys probably still have vacation brain, but any pointers would really help us out." "Guys, thoughts?" "What is going on with you, guys?" "There was a fire at Dalton." "It burned to the ground." "There's nothing left." "Academy's gone." "(school bell ringing)" "Thank you, everyone, for coming to this emergency Glee Club meeting." "Now, as I'm sure everyone in this room is aware of by now," "Dalton Academy has burned to the ground." "Now, I've gathered you all here today because Blaine, Kurt and myself have been talking and... although just a moment ago, we could only see the Warblers as our competition, now it's time for us to see them as a friend and ally." "We have made the decision to make some lemonade out of these lemons and join together as a show choir super group." "This is an opportunity for all of us." "We need them just as much as they need us." "Where's Rachel?" "Shouldn't she be here for this?" "Uh, she is in New York on some business, but she'll be back soon." "But she is totally on board with this plan." "Well, okay." "(cheering)" "Thank you so much, Mr. Schuester, for your generosity." "It is in times like these that we can find comfort in the kindness of our friends." "It's gonna be a challenge for all of us to move forward, but I know that we can do this." "And I think it's so awesome that the Warblers' passion for show choir is stronger than ever, 'cause we're really gonna need that strength and commitment to not only win sectionals, but to take it all the way to nationals this year!" "Come on, guys!" "(cheering)" "(whoops) Yeah!" "I'm sorry, but the aroma of overly dry-cleaned polyester uniforms just wafted into my office and up my extremely sensitive nose." "And I can see why now." "The Glee Club is hosting the Lima Gay Men's Chorus." "Oh, no, she didn't!" "BLAINE:" "Sue... you know very well that these are the Warblers." "They're at McKinley now." "They're part of the New Directions!" "Oh, they most certainly are not." "And they're going to take their freshly scrubbed cherubic faces and get the hell out of my school." "They're staying, Sue." "I've already cleared it with the superintendent." "How dare you go over my head!" "Well, I will just have to get it un-cleared with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who I met recently on the Cayman Islands at a leadership retreat and turtle hunt." "He's also a priority contact on my brand-new cutting-edge Apple Watch." "Now, fly away, Warblers." "Don't listen to her." "Stay." "Leave!" "Stay!" "There's a good chance we won't be rehearsing today." "Make no mistake, William." "When the final bell tolls," "I will have plucked every Warbler feather out of this school." "Doomsday has arrived." "Bring it, Suzy Q." "Don't call me that." " Suzy Q." " Stop it." "Suzy Q." "What's the Q stand for?" "You monster, Coach!" "Why wouldn't you let the Warblers join the New Directions!" "?" "It's so unfair!" "Honey, Becky, I cannot understand a word you're saying." "I think she's saying it's unfair that you won't let the Warblers" " join the Glee Club?" " For crying out loud." "The superintendent said it was okay!" "And "The superintendent said it was okay."" "Well, the superintendent may have said it was okay, but the president pro tem of the United States Senate," "Orrin G. Hatch, begs to differ." "Oh, save the drama for your mama!" "The Utah Republican agrees with me that the Glee Club is stupid and that the notion that two rival show choirs would suddenly just join forces out of nowhere is both morally repugnant and convenient." "I'm not gonna let you get away with this!" "Becky Jackson, do not stand in my way, lest I brand you a traitor." "I've performed unspeakable acts of loyalty for you." "She said she's performed unspeakable acts of loyalty." "Really?" "Like what?" "BECKY:" "I shoplifted for you!" "I perjured myself before a grand jury." "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?" "I swear." "I don't even know why, but hurting kids with a burned-down school is my moral limit!" "You're evil, Sue Sylvester!" "And you're not my friend anymore." "Becky Jackson, don't you trundle away from me." "You toddle out of this office, and you will never come back!" "(Becky crying)" "You." "You did this." "You turned her against me." "No, she turned on you all by herself." "Okay." "RACHEL:" "It's hard to believe it's only been a year since I walked the halls of NYADA, but I feel like a completely different person." "I used to be just like them..." "Naive and eager..." "And I used to see this place as just another stepping stone on the way to bigger things." "But I'm not that girl anymore." "I've been through the fire and clawed my way back, and now I'm here to ask for a second chance from the one woman who can do it." "And you know what?" "She might laugh in my face, and I don't even care, 'cause I know one thing for sure." "I can do this." " Rachel Berry?" " Mm-hmm." "Madame Tibideaux is ready to see you now, briefly." "Okay." "But I wouldn't get my hopes up." "She's been looking forward to this." "(phone rings)" "You can go in now." "Thank you." "Butt Chin?" "I... mean, William." "What are you doing here?" "What a wonderful surprise." "I'm just as surprised as you are, Sue." "HARRIS:" "Actually," "Principal Sylvester, I... hope you'll, uh... take the formality of this meeting seriously." "I need to make sure you understand what I am telling you today." "And Mr. Schuester is a witness, as well as an aggrieved party." "Well, I'm happy to clear up any confusion." "Something has come to my attention, something grave and... almost beyond..." "I saw your hurt locker, Sue." "I can't believe my eyes." "Sue Sylvester keeps the keys to this place?" "Now, in executive coaching, they train us to be ready for the most extreme circumstances." "But what I saw next chilled me to my marrow." "Myron?" "My own nephew?" "He's just an innocent bystander, a tween genius who..." "loves sequins too much." "(bell gongs)" "What?" "I am all for young love, but, uh... but this is wrong, right?" "I could've overlooked, oh, so many things, but what I saw next left me no other choice." "What's this?" "(gasps)" "Sweet..." "Sue Sylvester?" "I don't see how my... personal forms of recreation, uh, have negatively impacted my job performance." "I inspire people by stoking my own embers, if you will." "And I stand by, and am very proud, of what good I have done for this school." "And if I think if you were to ask any McKinley parent or student or any reader of the U.S. News and World Report..." "I take my responsibilities seriously, Principal Sylvester." "And clearly... a part of you does as well." "(clears throat) But after I saw your locker of vendetta and your... pornographic spread," "I cannot allow you near the students of McKinley." "Or... any other young people, anywhere, ever." "It is with profound regret that I terminate your employment." "I'm sorry, wha...?" "I'm sorry, what did... you say?" "You're fired." "Hello, America, I'm Geraldo Rivera." "Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Sylvester." "My guest tonight is an American treasure..." "Or at least, she was." "Champion cheerleading coach." "Sue Sylvester has led a life chock-full of winning." "Lately, Sue, it seems like you've been smacked around by the loser stick." "Is that right?" "Well, Geraldo, uh, despite being one of the scions of American education," "I have recently lost my position, my financial security and my legacy has been tarnished." "And today, I intend to set the record straight." "But, Sue, reading your record of accomplishments, they seem almost too good to be true." "And when our fact-checkers pored through them, Sue, they found out that most of them are made up." "I beg your pardon?" "Well, for instance, we learned that you were not born in the Panama Canal Zone, you did not fight in the Falklands War, you did not play any role in extracting the dictator Noriega, nor is there any evidence whatsoever" "that you were ever waterboarded." "Now, Geraldo, I'm gonna stop you right there." "I waterboarded myself." "You did not direct the TV movie." "The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, you don't have Trinidadian roots, nor were you ever, even for the shortest time, the tambourine player for Wilson Phillips." "I played tambourine for Wilson Phillips." "Geraldo, I-I'd like to respond to some of these allegations." "You've claimed to have romantic involvements with Dan Quayle," "Stephen Baldwin, Matt Lauer," "Johnny Cochran, David Boreanaz and the drummer from Jimmy Eat World." "All of these men have categorically denied this." "I dated all of the members of Jimmy Eat World." "It just begs the question, Sue:" "are you a compulsive liar?" "I mean, you've publically and repeatedly claimed, for example, that the singer Michael Bolton is the father of your child." "Well, that is absolutely true." "Sue Sylvester, our producers have found out otherwise." "Take a look." "I've never met Sue Sylvester or heard of this "ThunderBolton69."" "I only heard about her when my lawyers informed me that she had been going around saying I had bought her an island where we had a years-long torrid affair, and that I was the father of her child." "I honestly think the woman has some sort of mental illness." "Sue, do you want to respond to this?" "Fine." "I will admit I can't prove that Michael Bolton is the father of my child." "Let's hear from another of Sue's alleged lovers to find out what he has to say." "Look, I don't blame Sue for falling head over heels for me." "I mean, she's got eyes." "But she mistook a little grab-ass in a condo for true love." "That bitch is crazy." "She had me kidnapped!" "And then she signed me up for these dating sites:" "And the only thing that she put in my profile was that my boobs were like elephant ears." "Sue, it just makes me wonder:" "are you okay?" "Do you have a history of profound mental illness?" "What I have a history of, Geraldo, is devoting my entire life to the students of McKinley High." "You know, when I graduated from the Sorbonne," "I was recruited by every single one of Wall Street's top investment banks." "Halliburton wanted me for their COO." "One time, a very drunk Boris Yeltsin called to tell me that if I wanted Russia, he would just give it to me." "I could've had wealth and power beyond my wildest dreams!" "But instead, I chose a career filled with service and sacrifice in order to nurture and enrich the delicate minds of America's children." "Since day one, they have been and will continue to be my number one priority." "Sue, a lot of these things that you have just mentioned seem like lies to me." "I visited McKinley High School to talk to some of these students, and they tell a much different story." "She slashed the tires on my wheelchair 17 times." "She swapped out my weave glue with mayonnaise." "She made a fake elevator which she trapped us in and then pumped airborne drugs through the vents and built a small robot that forced us to kiss while it watched and made noises." "She put a live bear in my house." "Sue Sylvester came all the way to New York City to see me in my opening night on Broadway..." "Funny Girl..." "Just so that she could walk out halfway through and have sex all over my apartment." "She cut my dreads off." "GERALDO:" "Why does she hate the Glee Club so much?" "Do you have any explanation?" "She's had it out for the Glee Club from the very beginning." "Before we were around, the Cheerios!" "Were the stars of this school, and then we showed up, and she's never forgiven us for stealing her thunder." "Geraldo Rivera, this is an outrage!" "This is slander!" "These are all lies orchestrated by one Will Schuester!" "Judas!" "This may come as a surprise to you, Sue, but it was not Will Schuester who tipped us off." "It was someone else." "It was Becky Jackson." "BECKY:" "Who is Becky Jackson?" "America's dying to know." "Well, I could tell you who she is." "She's a poet, a lover and a dreamer." "I know, because Becky Jackson is me." "Becky always told me stories about Coach Sylvester, but that's what I thought they were: just stories." "I was like, wait, her secretary's an actual convict?" "She pushes kids down the stairs?" "And she was my best friend, and I supported anything she did." "And when Dalton Academy burned down, she refused to let gay Blaine and the Warblers join in the Glee Club." "And I knew it was time to blow the whistle." "I am so much happier now that I am free from Sue, and I got a hot boyfriend." "He takes me there every time." "And all of those Cheerios!" "Out there, quit being such basic bitches." "Don't let Sue Sylvester control you." "You deserve better." "(newscast music playing) We'll be right back." "Get out of my face!" "I'm sorry this isn't going" " the way you intended." " Not really." "Are we rolling?" "We're not rolling, are we?" "No, no, we're in commercial right now." "Geraldo, the foundations of my entire life have been destroyed." "All I ever wanted was to be a champion, and to inspire others to be champions." "That's why I chose a career in cheerleading." "Just wanted to succeed by watching my girls succeed." "Tough world out there, Geraldo." "I wanted them to be tougher." "Smarter." "I wish you had interviewed some of my more successful Cheerios!" ", like Quinn Fabray, currently enrolled at Yale;" "Brittany S. Pierce, math prodigy, M.I.T." "Santana Lopez was a Broadway understudy and now could have a very promising career as a high-class prostitute." "We did actually reach out to them." "All three declined to comment." "Wait." "Are the cameras rolling?" "Yeah, I lied." "I lied." "We didn't go to commercial." "The camera's been rolling the whole time." "Classy, Rivera;" "that's very classy." "You know what this is?" "This is a character assassination." "This interview is a hack job unworthy of the name Fox News, a global brand known worldwide for being fair and balanced." "And it's unworthy of you, my friend." "I agreed to sit down with you because you're a titan of American television, known for weird, shirtless selfies, getting chaired in the face by a white supremacist, and not finding anything whatsoever in Al Capone's vault." "When I took the reins at McKinley High, it was a cesspool of hate." "And it was my vigilance and tough love that turned that place into a no-bully zone where the most vulnerable were protected." "Well, Sue, we have an interview with, uh, someone who does agree with your assessment, your position." "We are choosing to protect their identity though..." "The voice has been altered." "Take a look." "(deep distorted voice):" "I'll say it till the cows come home:" "Sue Sylvester saved my life." "I was in an abusive marriage to a man they call Cooter the football recruiter, and Sue supported me leaving him." "Also, when I chose to transition," "Sue supported that, too." "Hey, wait, why are the lights off?" "(deep distorted voice):" "I'm not trying to hide my identity." "I'm proud to stand up for Sue Sylvester." "I am as I am, Geraldo Rivera." "And I refuse to apologize to you or anybody else." "Am I a tough customer?" "You bet your bottom dollar I am." "But that's the way I was raised." "As you may or may not know, my parents were Nazi hunters." "And the lies continue." "No, we weren't Nazi hunters." "Her father and I just told her that so it would give us a good excuse not to be around her." "Little Susan was a biter." "She was nasty from the day she was born." "She even bit my lip on her way out." "It was weird." "What kind of a newborn has a full set of teeth?" "What can I say?" "From the minute I laid eyes on her," "I knew that Susan would always be the daughter that I just couldn't love." ""The daughter that I just couldn't love."" "That must be hard to hear." ""The daughter that I just couldn't love."" "♪ ♪" "So who is Sue Sylvester?" "Really?" "Is she a lying, vindictive psychopath?" "Is she a career criminal who has endangered the lives of countless children and actually deserves to be behind bars?" "For the final word, let's go to one of Sue's coworkers and show choir director William Schuester." "Until next time, I'm Geraldo Rivera reporting." "Have I had my problems with Sue?" "(laughs)" "You bet." "She has made my life miserable for as long as I can remember." "(sighs)" "But that's because she's a fighter and someone who refuses to betray her own values." "And I'd be lying if I said her cutthroat spirit didn't keep everyone around here on their toes, striving to work harder and be better." "Oh, don't get me wrong." "She is not a nice person." "But the fact is she's an outstanding teacher and a born leader... and McKinley High is a worse place without her." "She deserves a second chance, and that's exactly what I told the superintendent." "(laughs softly)" "I'm going to bat for you, Sue." "(dark, dramatic music playing)" "Okay, that's enough, thank you." "Thank you for being the soundtrack for my melancholia." "Hello, "Mother."" "Hello, Susan." "Thank you for agreeing to meet me." "I know this must be difficult for you." ""Difficult" doesn't begin to describe it, Mother." "You've been lying to me for years." "Susan, does it really matter that your father and I were working in the accounts receivable department at Ma Bell while you thought we were out chasing Nazis?" "(Laughs)" "That's not the lie I'm talking about." "You never loved me." "No, technically, that's not a lie, because I never really told you that I did love you." "You know, it would be very easy to be angry at you." "But I've just spent the last few days at the Greater Columbus Convention Center attending Oprah's "The Life You Want Weekend" weekend." "And there I learned that relationships are a two-way street." "I realize I wasn't the easiest kid." "My earliest memories are of trying to light you on fire." "I want to apologize for all the booby traps." "And the biting." "Oh, Susan, your father and I really did love you." "We just had an odd way of showing it, that's all." "We never did get the hang of that parenting thing." "I always wanted you to do what I wanted to do, but you wouldn't have anything to do with it." "Oh, I remember how much I loved those old movie musicals, and you couldn't stand them." "Every time I took you to a matinee, you'd start crying and screaming and biting and trying to set me on fire." "Five minutes in, I realized I had to take you home." "Mother, I'm sorry, but sitting through a musical is torture for me." "How do people just burst into song?" "How does everybody just magically know the lyrics?" "I'm sorry." "Don't apologize." "I'm the one who should be saying I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I never was the mother I should have been." "I'm sorry I lied to you." "I'm sorry I missed out on your life." "It's okay to be angry, sweetheart." "You're going to be angry for quite a while." "I just hope that someday you and I can sit down, have a cup of coffee or something, if not as mother and daughter, then... just as friends." "I would like that." "Hold on." "I have a question for you." "What?" "Were you and Dad ever in love?" "Well, of course we were." "We fell in love when we first met, on a trolley." "And you would like to sing about it, wouldn't you?" "Yes." "Then I will sing with you." "Well, you hate musicals." "But I love the sound of my own voice." "Okay, band nerds." ""Trolley Song," A flat." "(trolley bell dings)" "("The Trolley Song" from Meet Me in St. Louis begins)" "♪ With my high-starched collar and my high-topped shoes ♪" "♪ And my hair piled high upon my head ♪" "♪ I went to lose a jolly hour on the trolley ♪" "♪ And lost my heart instead ♪" "♪ With his light brown derby and his bright green tie ♪" "♪ He was quite the handsomest of men ♪" "♪ I started to yen ♪" "♪ So I counted to ten ♪" "♪ Then I counted to ten again ♪" "♪ Clang, clang, clang went the trolley ♪" "♪ Ding, ding, ding went the bell ♪" "♪ Zing, zing, zing went my heartstrings ♪" "♪ From the moment I saw him, I fell ♪" "♪ Chug, chug, chug went the motor ♪" "♪ Bump, bump, bump went the brakes ♪" "♪ Thump, thump, thump went my heartstrings ♪" "♪ When he smiled, I could feel the car shake ♪" "♪ He tipped his hat and took a seat ♪" "♪ He said he hoped he hadn't stepped upon my feet ♪" "♪ He asked my name, I held my breath ♪" "♪ I couldn't speak because he scared me half to death ♪" "♪ Buzz, buzz, buzz went the buzzer ♪" "♪ Plop, plop, plop went the wheels ♪" "♪ Stop, stop, stop went my heartstrings ♪" "♪ As he started to leave ♪" "♪ I took hold of his sleeve with my hand ♪" "♪ And as if it were planned ♪" "♪ He stayed on with me ♪" "♪ And it was grand ♪" "♪ Just to stand with his hand holding mine ♪" "♪ To the end of the line... ♪" "♪ Zing, zing, zing, zing ♪" "♪ Went my heart.... ♪" "(music ends)" "(laughs):" "Oh, oh!" "Thank you, Susan." "Okay, let's just make sure nothing like this ever happens again." "I promise." "So Carmen Tibideaux actually told you to get out of her office?" "Look, you're missing the point, okay?" "She said that she could see that I was humble, that I was sorry, which means that I can't give up." "There's still a chance." "Rachel, I think that you may be reading" " a little too much into this." " I don't think so." "Yeah, I mean, anyone named Madam Tibideaux doesn't really seem like a woman who changes her mind or stays in human form for too long." "I always thought NYADA was a school for witches." "What I think Sam is trying to say is that you're just reaching a little bit." "If you remember, I got kicked out of NYADA, too." "Carmen cut me herself." "Like, with a knife because she wanted your blood for potions?" "No, because she's not a witch." "Look, you guys, I could see it in her eyes." "She was moved momentarily." "And for that moment, I saw myself back in NYADA, back on track before my life got completely derailed." "Which is why I'm writing her this letter." "And I'm putting all of my humiliation out there, all of the bad reviews and the good reviews, a-and the good Glee Club reviews, and she's gonna see it, she's gonna give me another chance," "and I'm gonna get back in." "Look, we're all behind you 100 percent getting your life back on track, but I think that you clinging on to NYADA, (phone vibrates)" "I don't think..." "Wait a minute." "This-this is a-a New York number." "I think this could be her." "I have to go t-take this." "Hello, this is Rachel." "Okay, I don't think this is healthy." "Yeah, I don't think these are even actual press clippings about the Glee Club." "These are just from Jacob Ben Israel's blog." "Guys, I think we should just be good friends and support her about going back to college." "Shh, she's coming." "What is it?" "Was it NYADA?" "That was the producer for the Russell Simmons musical of the audition that you put me up for." "I-I don't know, I totally forgot about it, but..." "I got it." "A-And they-they want me to start in, like, a few weeks." "Oh, my God!" "Rachel, see, your life is already back on track." "I totally forgot about it..." "Oh, congratulations." "Thank you." "What about going back to school?" "You know what, maybe you guys are right." "I don't need to be just forcing this to happen with school." "You know, I don't have to go to NYADA." "This is really exciting." "I'm gonna go tell Kurt." "And a-five, six, seven, eight." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight." "(slowing):" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven..." "Come on!" "This choreography is about as rudimentary as it gets." "And you guys aren't even close." "Okay, that-that is enough, guys." "We're a team, and a team is comprised of people with individual strengths and weaknesses." "Are we a team?" "Because look at us." "Half of us are wearing uniforms from a different school." "KURT:" "She's right." "There is a major disconnect." "We've got to make some changes." "Teams wear uniforms..." "Better grab a blazer." "You guys would look great in blazers." "This is McKinley, dude." "Yeah, your sexist empire doesn't even exist." "Our look is iconic." "Synonymous with tradition and excellence." "Not to mention, it elevates anyone who wears it to sex-symbol status." "Wait, I'll take one." "Women love these." "Do they?" "Come on, guys, we've welcomed you to our school with open arms." "Semi-open." "You can't expect us to adopt your uniforms, too." "But, you know, it would save us the effort of having to try and find a new look." "Okay, look, you guys, we've had a lot of success with this in the past, so we'll just give you our uniforms to wear during the competition." "Red T-shirts and Converse are not uniforms." "You have costumes." "WILL:" "Guys, enough!" "We need to have some unity here, okay?" "Look, you attend McKinley now." "I'm really sorry, guys, but the blazers need to go." "We are grateful that you've welcomed us to your school, and to be performing with you guys, but we didn't choose to come here." "You always talk about how important Glee Club and-and McKinley is to you;" "well, we felt the same way about Dalton." "And then we watched it burn to the ground." "These jackets aren't just uniforms." "They're a tribute." "A last surviving artifact of a place that meant so much to us." "It's all that we have left." "You pumpkins got bigger problems than your costumes." "I just got word that Sue is the new coach of Vocal Adrenaline." "(piano plays dramatic melody)" "So you get fired from your old job, and despite hating show choir and never having coached it before, you're our new coach." "Correction." "I may be your new coach." "If I deem you worthy of crushing the New Directions!" "With a national championship you will be guaranteed under my tutelage." "And how exactly do we prove we're worthy?" "By surviving the Barf-tron 200." " The what?" " The Barf-tron 200... is a single consecutive five-hour workout routine designed to invoke maximum nausea." "200 box jumps, 200 pull-ups, 200 burpies, 200 wall balls," "200 double-unders, and 200 consecutive run-throughs of Frank Stallone's "Far From Over,"" "made famous by John Travolta's triumphant performance in Staying Alive, the best sequel of all time." "(Frank Stallone's "Far From Over" begins) ♪ Da, da-da ♪" "♪ Da, da ♪" "♪ Da-da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪" "♪ This is the end ♪" "♪ You made your choice, and now my chance is over... ♪" "Come on!" "♪ I thought I was in ♪" "♪ You put me down and say ♪" "♪ I'm going nowhere... ♪ I am pushing you harder than you've ever been pushed before." "♪ Save me, darling ♪" "♪ I am down, but I am far from over ♪" "♪ Give me something ♪" "♪ I need it all, 'cause I am running over... ♪" "SUE:" "You think this is hard?" "Try taking down a gazelle with your bare hands!" "That's hard!" "(rhythmic humming)" "We're only halfway there!" "♪ Da, da-da ♪" "♪ Da, da ♪" "♪ Da, da, da, da, da... ♪" "I am now pushing you harder than the level at which I was previously pushing you!" "(rhythmic humming)" "That doesn't look hard at all!" "Just passing the ball back and forth?" "Sit up straight and engage those abs!" "♪ Save me, darling ♪" "♪ I am down, but I am far from over ♪" "♪ Give me something ♪" "♪ I need it all 'cause I am running over... ♪" "Hey, ladies, good luck with menopause if this is how fit you are at the peak of your physicality!" "You should be ashamed of yourselves!" "(rhythmic humming)" "(music builds)" "(music ends)" "All right, everyone, take five." "And then we're doing it all over again." "Sue Sylvester," "I think I speak for all of Vocal Adrenaline when I say we'd be honored to have you as our coach." "Sam, good, I need your help;" "we have to figure out what to do with this whole Warbler crisis, especially now that Sue is on the attack." "So here, will you put this jacket on?" "Um, I think you're making a mistake." "With the jacket?" "It's just a jacket." "Look, we have to commit to this and just tell our kids that this is what we're doing, okay?" "The Warbler's school burned down." "If this is gonna give them a little bit of comfort, then it's the least we could do." "I mean about taking that part in New York." "What about NYADA?" "What about NYADA?" "Look," "Mercedes was right." "It's pathetic, and worse than that, it's desperate to cling to the idea of going back there." "(phone vibrating) It's not pathetic to go back." "Hello, this is Rachel." "I..." "That was Carmen Tibideaux." "I'm back in NYADA if I want to be." "That's amazing!" "Oh, my gosh, I knew, I knew that you could just do it, I told you." "That's what I said." "Did I not say that?" "I'm not going back there." "What?" "Sam, I just want to go back to New York a winner, not with my tail between my legs." "And Mercedes is happy for me, Kurt is happy for me," "Blaine's happy for me." "Why can't you be?" "You're the person who matters the most;" "just be happy for me." "I'm telling you the truth, okay, not just what you want to hear." "Yet you said that I was destined to be back in New York." "Yeah, but not like this." "Like what?" "What's wrong with this?" "This is what I wanted!" "No, what you wanted was a second chance to get it right, and Carmen just gave that to you, okay?" "If you throw all that away, you're gonna be making the same mistakes all over again." "Look, Rachel, come on, stop." "It's not a mistake." "Me going back to my life and who I was is not a mistake." "I just think that in this day and age, it's insane not to get a college education, you know?" "But, Sam, you're not in college." "Well, I know, but I don't want Rachel to make my mistakes that I..." "Rachel is a big girl." "She's gonna take care of herself, okay?" "We just have... (organ playing Europe's "The Final Countdown")" "Oh, my Lord, this is serious." "Sue, what are you doing?" "I'm making a statement." "You've crossed me for the last time," "William Schuester." "Do you have any idea how many times you've said that?" "And it still feels good." "You betrayed me, and I am taking it upon myself to destroy the Glee Club and you once and for all." "And I know I've said that before, too!" "Betray you?" "Okay, everyone else betrayed you, Sue." "There were two people Geraldo interviewed that stood up for you, and I was one of them." "Silence!" "Brad?" "("The Final Countdown" resumes)" "Oh, don't even think that you can out-Europe me, Sue." "I saw them play live at the Franklin County Fair in 1993." "♪ Ooh... ♪" "♪ We're leaving together ♪" "♪ But still it's farewell ♪" "♪ And maybe we'll come back ♪" "♪ To Earth, who can tell?" "♪" "♪ I guess there is no one to blame ♪" "♪ We're leaving ground ♪" "♪ Will things ever be the same again?" "♪" "♪ It's the final countdown ♪" "♪ The final countdown ♪" "♪ Oh... oh!" "♪" "(guitars playing rapidly)" "Oh, my God, they've gone crazy." "We can't let this happen to us." "♪ The final countdown ♪" "♪ Oh!" "♪" "♪ It's the final countdown ♪" "♪ We're leaving together ♪" "♪ Final countdown ♪" "♪ We'll all miss her so ♪" "♪ It's the final countdown ♪" "♪ Countdown ♪" "♪ Oh ♪" "♪ It's the final countdown!" "♪" "(music ends, crowd cheering)" "(cheering stops abruptly)" "I mean, it was so weird to see you and Sue do a fantasy air guitar battle." "Weird and borderline psychopathic." "I feel so awful you guys had to see that." "But I'm done." "I..." "We are gonna beat Sue at sectionals." "Well, looks like Sue is the least of our worries." "I just got cornered by Myron." "Rachel Berry, Uncle Bob just told me devastating news!" "The bottom line is if New Directions doesn't win, not only will the Glee Club get the ax, but all arts and music programs will be wiped from the school." "But what am I supposed to do with all my sequin jackets?" "!" "That's impossible;" "I'm paying for the Glee Club out of my own pocket." "That's what I said!" "But that's impossible." "Rachel Berry is paying for the Glee Club out of her own pocket." "But this goes beyond what she can afford, and this is also about allocation of facilities and resources." "I mean, that choir room has to go back to being a computer lab or at least another classroom." "(shrieks)" "I just can't believe it after everything that we've been through." "This could be worse." "We've survived far more difficult things, not just in Glee Club, but in life." "You know, screw it." "We've had to fight for everything we've earned in our lives, and this is just the beginning of a new fight." "I am so proud of you all." "And as badly as I want to save the arts, my greatest accomplishment are the people sitting in front of me right now." "We never give up, and we never will." "Well, if only we could just agree on costumes to wear for the most important competition of our lives." "That might actually be one problem that we may have fixed." "("Rise" begins)" "(rhythmic humming)" "♪ Have you ever felt like you woke up ♪" "♪ On the wrong side of your heart?" "♪" "♪ Has it ever felt like it's broken ♪" "♪ Like the world tore it apart?" "♪" "♪ Have you felt so weak ♪" "♪ You could hardly stand?" "♪" "♪ Like if you ever fell, you could never tell ♪" "♪ If you'd ever get back up again ♪" "♪ I know it's hard to do ♪" "♪ But I think you can make it ♪" "♪ 'Cause I know we can take it ♪" "♪ Baby, we will ♪" "♪ Rise ♪" "♪ We are young, we are the dreamers ♪" "♪ We will fly ♪" "♪ When the world will not believe us ♪" "♪ We will rise above the ashes ♪" "♪ Before this whole life passes us by ♪" "♪ You and I ♪" "♪ We will rise ♪" "(rhythmic humming)" "♪ La, la, la, la ♪" "♪ La, la, la, la ♪" "♪ Oh, we will ♪" "♪ We will rise ♪" "♪ We are young, we are the dreamers ♪" "♪ We will fly ♪" "♪ When the world will not believe us ♪" "♪ We will rise above the ashes ♪" "♪ Before this whole life passes us by ♪" "♪ You and I ♪" "♪ We will rise ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ We will rise ♪" "♪ We will rise ♪" "♪ We will rise above the ashes ♪" "♪ Before this whole life passes us by ♪" "♪ Oh, yeah ♪" "♪ You and I, we will rise!" "♪"