"HOW DO I LOVE THEE, LET ME CALL YOU BACK" "A gift." " Who's it for?" " It's for Harry." "Why are you giving a gift to that conman?" "To pay him back for conning us." "Coach found a trick wallet in a novelty shop." "What you do is you open it up and flames come right up to your face." " Isn't this a little cruel?" " It's harmless, really." "That's why we didn't give it to you." "He's coming." "Here he comes." " Am I glad to see you, Harry." " You are?" "Are you kidding me?" "You are a valued customer and a friend." "I was feeling bad about all the times I kicked you out of here." " It's from all of us." " For me?" "Gosh, I never expected anything like this." "No one's ever given me anything voluntarily." "Shall I save it for Christmas?" "No." "Please, Harry." "Open it now." "It's a hot one." " A wallet!" " It's just a little gesture." " It's beautiful." " I can't wait." "I'm so touched." "Don't mention it." " Aren't you going to open it?" " Sure." "Back from your face a little, so we can all see." " It was funnier in the store." " There must be 60 bucks here." "You guys are too much." "I'll never forget this." "Thanks a lot." "Did that wallet look familiar to anybody?" " Give me the beer!" " Don't you dare." "Come on." "My boyfriend has been dying to see this Hagler fellow and how is a waitress like me going to get $200?" "I don't care." "We can scout the tickets at the arena." "OK." "I'll pay." "I'll pay the $200." "Give me my purse." "It's still exorbitant for a prizefight." "It's Marvin Hagler." "It's the prizefight of the year." "I assume that a cheque will do." "Anything." "Make it out to phil Keppler, medical Corporation." "I thought I recognised that natural compassion, Doctor." "He's a lucky man." "By the way, I could remove that little thing in 30 minutes." "Surprise." "Don't tell me." "The exhibit of Norwegian wood cuts is back in town." " Holy moly." " What is it, Sam?" " Look at this." " Holy moly." " Surely it's not that big a thing." " Are you kidding?" "Look." "Holy moly." " How'd you do it?" " It wasn't easy." "They belonged to two young men, but after I finished waiting on them they were two old men." "They succumbed to my charms." "They were two blind men." "Thank you so much." "Later on, you can redeem that for a real thank you." "You know what I mean?" "Let's go." "We don't have much time." "There's one proviso." "You do not take me with you, or tell me about it later." "OK." "I wonder who I should take." "I gotta change." "Figure it out amongst yourselves." "I'm going to the Hagler fight." "I love you." " What are we going to do?" " I got a great idea." "I think of a number from one to ten." "The closest gets to go." "Fair enough." " Seven." " Nine." " Two." " I'll say three." "Wait." "You can't say anything." "You know what it is." " It's six." " Why say three?" "Three's my lucky number." "Coach, I want in on this, too." "I don't know about this cologne you bought me." "Two showers and it's gone." "Sam, I want you to know that what you just said out there just now set my heart to pounding." "I think I know myself, but my preconceptions fly out the window when the man in my life says, "I love you. "" "Who said that?" " You did." " Hey, honey, don't worry about that." "That doesn't mean anything." " It doesn't?" " I've used that as a line on 100 girls." " You've never said it to me." " I wouldn't waste a line on you." "Now, what I mean by that is you're not the kind of girl to use a line on." "You're the kind of girl that falls for sincerity." "I don't mean that either." "It's something I say." "I say it to Coach all the time." "I say it to anybody who gets me tickets to the Hagler fight." "I just say it." "Sam, get back in here." "I think I know what you're saying." "When I and everyone else in the world say I love you, we are opening up the very core of our being." "When you say it," " you're just clearing your throat." " Well put." "I'm confused." "You gave me tickets to a fight I want to see and now you won't let me see it." "Is this some kind of test?" " What does our relationship mean?" " It means a lot." " Go on." " Thank you." "Sam, stop!" "I have spent three months writing in my journal, filling pages with thoughts concerning us." "I have consumed entire weekends trying to discover what our relationship means." "And what do I get from you?" ""It means a lot. "" "Can you see why I'm furious?" "Sure." "You work at it for months and I get it like that." " If you leave, we're through." " I hate ultimatums." "You give me an ultimatum and we're through." " What?" " That's better." " Guess who got the extra ticket." " Come on, Harry." "Please, don't get us in trouble tonight." "Come on." "I'll be good." "In fact, I'm driving." "What kind of car do you want to take?" "She aches just like a woman" "Queen Mary, she's my friend..." "Come on, Diane." "I know you're up." "Your candles are on." " What do you want?" " I want to come in, I think." "Insy-daisy." " You're drunk." " You're stupid." "I'll be sober in the morning." " What are we drinking here?" " Vino." "Listen, I know why you're doing this." "It's my fault and I'm sorry." "Don't flatter yourself." "My walking out in the middle of an argument wasn't exactly..." "When I was a kid, I had nightmares about places like this." "Do you think you could..." "No bats!" "Listen." "I came over here for a reason." "I brought you this." "It's a present." "Open it." " You bought it at this hour?" " What's time?" "When your lady's owed a present, she gets a present." " What is it?" " It's a boxing-glove purse." "How much did you pay for this?" " Price is no object." " Obviously." "Big shot." "Big athlete shot." "You really are gone." "I'll get some coffee." "I am bombed." "But I have been doing some very clear thinking tonight... about us." "I have decided that if it isn't worth examining what we have, maybe we don't have anything." "Come on." "You're not thinking about ending it?" "I'll have you know that when I was in high school," "I was voted the girl most likely to marry into old money." " Drink this." "It'll make you feel better." " Nothing will." " But this will make me feel better." " Wait a minute." "Now, you're upset about my not thinking about our relationship." "Am I right?" "Yes, sir." "I will think about our relationship." "Maybe we should take time off." "Not see each other for a while." "That way, I'll have one thing on my mind." "One more than you usually have." "Not now." "Listen, how long should we take?" "I don't know." "A week would be nice." "All right." "We'll split up for a week, get back together and we'll compare thinks." "Yes, sir." "Fine." "However, I must warn you, if you come up with nothing and I come up with nothing..." "Come on." "Don't worry about that." "I'll come up with something." "I promise." "Are you sure you're going to be all right?" "I'm not going to waste any time at all." "I'm going to start thinking right now." "That's my girl." "I thought I was a disgusting drunk." " What a night!" " It's not over yet." "Step into Clifford's poker emporium." "I can't remember my last all-night poker game." "These cards you bought at the strip joint, the sexy ladies are wearing bikinis." "That's right." "You've got to rub it off with a dime." "Let me see, will you, Cliff?" " I can't get the bikini off my girl." " Story of your life." "That's my first time in the Combat Zone sober." "It shows you can still have a good time without drinking, as long as you're surrounded by naked broads shaking their wallies in your face." " Words to live by." " We did have a good time." "Thanks to our leader, who won the chugging contest, yelled at the strippers and punched some bouncers." " Where is our leader?" " There she is right now." "You left these in the car." " Why did the stripper throw 'em at you?" " I attract women." "Like moths to a flame." "Like honey bees to a flower." "Like flies to a road apple." "Carla, how do you know about the Combat Zone?" "My ex always used to take me there." "He loved the theatre." "We were there for the premiere of "College Girls Totally Nude"." "It's terrific." "Nothing against Diane." "It feels so good to get out with the guys." "You made a mistake telling Diane, "I love you. "" "Say it to a girl, they make a big deal out of it." "To a guy it doesn't mean anything." " Go ahead." "Say it to me, for example." " Norm, I love you." "I was wrong." "Time's running out." "What are you going to tell Diane about your thinking fest?" "I thought about it a million times and I came up with nothing." "I don't need a week." "What was I known for when I was playing ball?" " Giving up home runs." " Chasing anything in a skirt." " Drinking yourself senseless." " Coming through in the clutch." "No." "I need the pressure." "Slugger at the plate." "Bases loaded." "Thousands of fans chanting, "Mayday"." "You'll see." " Tomorrow will come and I'll be there." " Tomorrow's today." "It's past midnight." "She won't come now." "No one's that crazy." "Evening, everyone." " I'm back." " Mayday." "I couldn't wait to see you after a week of deep and torturous soul searching." "But I don't want to get in the way of your fun times." "You're right." "It's a victory party." "You see, I got it." " You got what?" " Our relationship." "Tonight, it came perfectly clear and I decided to celebrate there." "Sam, that's wonderful." "Tell me." "I can't wait to tell you, but I just need a couple of minutes to polish it up." "It's pretty good, but I need to rearrange the words." " Two minutes." " Of course." "Stall." "You go anywhere?" "Well, I spent some time at Cape Cod." "I love it in winter." "I have a theory about how Cape Cod was formed, geologically speaking." "Excuse me." "Well?" "Mayday!" "You surprised me." "I forgot what I was gonna say." "Sorry." "I'm excited." "You have things to tell me." "I have things to tell you." "Tons." "So?" "One of the things I've discovered is I'm a very shy person." " Do you mind going first?" " Of course not." " Great insight." " Thank you." "This is the way I describe our relationship." "It's more than like." "Beyond fondness." "Verging on deep affection." "There's a vital physical component, bordering on the passionate." "However, it has not reached the level at which we will abandon reservations about a complete commitment." "That's how I see things." "Ditto." "Ditto?" "You're telling me I waited a week for "ditto"?" "You took my answer." "All right, I'm sorry." "No more stalling." "I'll just tell you right here." "I couldn't come up with anything." "I'm sorry." "I really wanted to do this." "I don't understand." "I'm usually so good under pressure, but I just drew a blank." "Honey, I have no idea why we're together." "Neither do I." " You don't?" " I don't have a clue." " What about what you just said?" " I read it in a book." "It sounded nice, but it's not us." " Is it?" " I don't know." "I wasn't listening." "Please, whatever we do right now, don't say, "What are we doing?"" "What are we doing that I can't say what are we doing?" "I was going to say that it's totally hopeless, that I can't make sense of our relationship." "Why do we have to make sense of it?" "Think about it and it loses its sense." "The reason I'm with you is because I lo..." "What, Sam?" "I said the reason why I'm with you is cos I lo..." " You lo...?" " You know what I mean." " What's the matter?" "Can't you say it?" " Of course." "I lo..." "Don't you see?" "That phrase that you throw around so casually is now impossible for you to say." "Why can't you say it?" "Because with me, it's no longer casual." "I'm important to you." "I matter." "This is silly." "I can say Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers." "A peck of pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick." " OK." "Now, say the other thing." " I lo..." "Hey, everybody." "Sam can't say he loves me." "Who can?" "English"