"THE GAY KENNEDY" "I'd like to say welcome to this residents' meeting." "I'd like to say welcome to this residents' meeting." "You've all had the agenda." "The first item is snow clearing." "The second is dog poo on the premises." "Then we have an item called "Quiet Road" and finally any other business." "I think we should just get started." "The next item is the quiet road." "It'll be a long process." "First, we send in an application." "It can take several months, but I think we should try." "I read in the local paper that they had it done on Kastanievej." " You know Klaus Bondam, right?" " Yes." "Excuse me..." "I think I've got a brilliant idea." "Frank knows Klaus Bondam who's a member of the city council." "Couldn't we use that connection?" "You could talk to Klaus." "He can't do a speed hump for us, but he can speed up the application." " Right, Frank?" " Good idea." " Okay." "I'll do it." " Great, darling." " Hi, Frank." " Hi." "No signs left of Claire." "Clean cut." "What a shot." " How's it going?" " Really good, Frank." "Something's come up." "A Chinese production company might be interested in buying   the scripts for "Far Away From Las Vegas"." "They want to meet us for dinner as soon as possible." "I asked them to give us an offer for 40 episodes of the series." "Just the scripts." "They'll redo it with Chinese actors." "They'll go..." " I want to see that!" " We won't be famous, you know." "You can't go to China and get some quick pussy." "But we'd be daft not to get at least 5 million out of it." " But dinner..?" "They're disgusting." " I've heard that they eat dogs." "They spit out the bits of the dog that they don't like." "They stuff themselves and spit out the excess, like owls do." "Could you watch a Chinese spit out an owl bone for 5 million?" "It would help." "But they don't wash their hands either." "They're the most disgusting people in the world." " Are you busy on Wednesday?" " I'm going to the tea shop." "I was wondering if you'd come along to a business dinner." "We might have sold "Far Away From Las Vegas" to China." "Casper says it's good to bring wives." "The Chinese are very family-oriented." " Yes, I'd like to." " Great." "Iben is coming as well." "I've got a present for you, by the way." "There you are." "Wow..." "A pair of mittens!" "They're really smart." " Aren't they nice?" " Yes." "Super-duper." " Have you kept the receipt?" " Don't you like them?" "Yes, but..." "The good thing about mittens is that the fingers warm each other." "Leather gloves aren't warm." "Feel how warm those are." " I don't have cold hands." " Yes, you do." "Often." " No, I don't." " They're cold and clammy." "It's not very nice when you touch me." "Having clammy hands touch you intimately is not nice." "Having clammy hands touch you intimately is not nice." " What an excellent lunch." " Good." "What do you say, then?" "We won't tell anyone, but you'll get your quiet road." "Don't worry." "It's only fair that children should be able to play safely outside." "And people should cycle more anyway." "It's much better for them." "But the quiet road is in the bag." "I got them to put up a stop sign, so I could park here." " Is that allowed?" " For me it is." " How's life at the town hall?" " Really exciting." " What are you doing?" " Leaving." " Don't you want to check?" " No, don't bother." " Have you never driven in Paris?" " But..." " I've never been to Paris." " Really?" "Normally, you leave a note." "If you drive in the city, you should be prepared for these things." "Hi." "Talk to you later." " He can't hear you in the car." " He can hear me say "hi"." " No, he can't." " Well, he can read my lips." " Why are you putting sound on, then?" " What does it matter?" "Super." "Thanks a lot, Klaus." " Hi there." " Hi." "Our interpreter." "This is Frank." "Sit down and have a GT." "We're talking strategy for the meeting." "Weinsho will be joining us for the meeting." "We're looking at excerpts from the series..." "There it is." " Yes." "Very good." " Really?" "What's the attitude towards homosexuals in China?" " "Casper", that's..." " How would you pronounce it?" " "Cas-par"..." " Strange name, eh?" "Does it mean anything?" ""Dragon of the Wind" or something?" "How about meeting up later?" "Come out to my hotel tonight." "We'll have a drink in the bar and do an all-night session." " Just one last question..." " Can I use your toilet, please?" " Bloody hell..!" " Bloody hell what?" " She's gorgeous!" " She's not taking this seriously." " She's really competent." " Yes, but..." " I'll see you later." " Yes." "See you tonight." " Thanks." " I'll book a table for us tonight." "She wasn't into you." "But never mind." "This is about money." "What's important to me is that she translates what I'm saying." "As far as I can tell, she translates perfectly." "And she's hot." "I'll be honest with you." "I've never been with a Chinese." " Did she spit on the floor?" " Enough with the fucking hygiene!" "Yes." "But they are disgusting." "You can't find one disgusting thing about her." "Not one!" "Yes!" "The soap is completely dry." " So what?" " She didn't wash her hands." " Can't you focus on the 5 million?" " I shook her hand." "They're so disgusting!" "If I were you, I'd wash my hands as well." "It's their own fault they get all that SARS and bird flu." "Incredible they made it to one billion people!" " How did it go with Klaus?" " Fine." "He'll try and wing it." " Really?" "Great!" " He was all for quiet roads." "I gave ham herring and schnapps and said, "We'd like a quiet road."" " And then he accepted?" " Yes." "Your hand is lovely and warm." " I've been using your mittens." " Do you want to cuddle?" " Good morning, honey." " Good morning." " Where's the paper?" " I didn't get it." "Then breakfast is not ready after all." "Someone's given us a hamper!" "I thought it was a foundling." " But I much prefer a hamper." " Who's it from?" "The residents' association." "Because of the quiet road." "Well, well..." "Ain't I clever?" " I'll get the phone." " Not now, honey." "But we're cuddling!" "Say we're not in." "It's Mia..." "One moment, please." "It's Klaus Bondam." "Hi?" "Alright." "It's not a good time right now." "Can it wait?" "No?" "I'm right in the middle of..." "Alright." "See you soon." "Bye." " Is something wrong?" " I don't know." "He wants me to come." " Is it to do with the road?" " He sounded panicky." "Hi, Frank." "Come in." "I've got a great story for you." "Do you remember when we were out for lunch the other day,   and I reversed into that other car?" "It turns out someone took my number plate and found out it was me." "So I wanted to ask if you could take the blame for it." "We could say that when we came out from the restaurant " " I saw some important text messages on my phone." "And then you offered to drive while I answered them." "Klaus, you made the dent." "I told you to leave a note." " We'll just say it blew down." " I don't want to." "Okay..." "Well, I'll take that one, then." "I mean..." "I'll let the media chew me up." "It probably won't be too bad." "This city loves me, you know." " I'm the gay Kennedy." " I'm glad you see it like that." "Thanks for your help." "This was a good solution." "Bye." " Hi." "Do you need a ride?" " Yes, please." "It's too cold to be out." " Where do you want to go?" " Just turn down here." " So you know Klaus as well?" " Oh, that was you yesterday?" "Yes." "I don't just pick up anybody, you know." " Where should we..?" " Just park over there." "Alright." "What..." "What are you doing?" "What am I doing?" "Didn't you want a handjob?" " A handjob?" " Yes." "Isn't that what you wanted?" "No!" "I just wanted to give you a lift." " I didn't know you were a rent boy." " Give me 500 kroner, then." " No, I won't." " Some punters just want to talk." " I just misunderstood." " I don't care." "I want my 500 kroner." " But you haven't done anything." " I'll take these, then." " No!" "Don't take my mittens!" " Give me the money, then." " I haven't got it." " Bloody hell..!" "Come back when you've got the money." " Hi, honey." " Hi." "How did it go with Klaus?" " It went okay." " Fine." "I was getting nervous." "But there's something else." "My mittens got stolen." " Your new mittens?" " Yes." " How did that happen?" " A rent boy took them." " How did that happen?" " A rent boy took them." " A rent boy?" " Yes." "I thought he was a hitchhiker." " Why do you pick up a hitchhiker?" " He was standing there, and..." " A rent boy stole your mittens?" " Yes, honey." "I can explain..." "Good evening." "It's the police." "Can we speak to Frank Hvam?" " Frank, it's the police." " Oh." " Good evening." "Are you Frank?" " Yes." "Hello." "Has something happened?" "Yes." "It's about the incident down at Café Promenaden." " Is it about the rent boy?" " Rent boy?" "What's that about?" " Well..." "Frank was..." "What?" " We don't want to talk about that." "It's about a traffic accident." "Klaus Bondam told us you were driving." " He said I was driving?" " Yes." " When did you speak to him?" " Today." "He said you dented the car." " And then you drove away." " It's not true." "Klaus was driving." "He reversed into the car." "I asked him to leave a note, but he wouldn't." " That's the right thing to do." " Yes, of course." "Klaus was driving, not Frank." "We've tried it before, you see." " We know you should leave a note." " I'm prepared to be a witness." " What was with the rent boy?" " Well, it was..." " A rent boy stole Frank's mittens." " That sounds awful." " It's freezing." " Are your hands cold?" " Hi." " Crap weather, eh?" "Hi, Mia." " Where's Iben?" " She's not coming." "I thought it would be too boring for an outsider..." " Do you want me to leave?" " No, no." " Ready, Frank?" " Yes." "Well..." "Come on, honey." " Let's get started..." " Cheers to our mothers." " And to yours." " Let's get down to business." "He really likes you." "In a friendly way, that is." "Weishu?" "Could you please ask them..." "How many episodes would you like to buy?" "40 or all 53 of them?" " Weishu, I asked them a question." " Just a moment..." " Let's have a taste." " Her name is Weinsho." "She has to translate for me." "I'm going to look like an idiot, if you don't translate for me." "Please translate what I'm saying." "That's what I'm paying you for." "Hey!" "I'm trying to make myself heard over here." "Casper has already asked them those questions." "No, Casper has been talking Peking Duck for half an hour." "I mentioned it to connect with these people." "And that's super." "I'm just trying to ask some relevant questions." "Look... there it is." " They don't understand a thing." " Forget about the interpreter." "They're happy." "It's going really well." "The atmosphere is great." " Did you wash your hands?" " Excuse me?" "She forgot to wash her hands up at the office." "I just wanted to remind her." "No..." "Don't say that to them." "You don't say that sort of thing." "It's not your place." " Tell them to sit down." " There's nothing I can do." "Why the hell did you translate that?" "Why the hell did you translate that?" "Weinsho, I'll call you." "You've ruined everything!" " This is 5 million kroner." " I just wanted her to translate." "And then she did, and that was wrong as well." "Every time I get close to pussy or 5 million, you ruin it for me!" "What are you staring at?" "Nice dinner, eh?" "He shouldn't lose his temper like that, in public." " It's typical of Casper." " He's disappointed." "He needs a Chinese girl." "He's been with all other nationalities." " He only needs a Chinese and a Sami." " Lord almighty." " We're going home, right?" " Yes." "I'm sure we'll find other Chinese." "There's a billion of them, after all." "Could you go up here..?" "I want to pick up my mittens." "Maybe he's got a customer." " Is that him?" " Yes." "I'll only be a minute." "Hi." "I'd like my mittens back." "Have you got 500 kroner?" "Here's your mittens." " Have you used the mittens?" " Yes, of course." "They're warm." " Just keep them, then." " Are you serious?" " You're not coming back for them?" " No!" " Go, honey." " Why didn't you get them?" "Just go!" "He's started using them." " He was wearing them when I came." " So what?" "Now they're filled with penis bacteria from thousands of men." "He does a customer, puts the mittens on,   does another customer and puts them on again." "I'm afraid Frank has dug into the confit paté and the olive tapenade." "Well..." "Too bad about that quiet road." "Talk to you later."