"[ Music playing ]" "[ Music playing ]" "[ Music playing ]" "(NARRATOR) Once upon a time, there was a handsome narrator." "He opened a movie by telling the story of a jungle tribe, happy and carefree and generally idiotic." "One day, a shaman predicted that their good times would soon come to a tragic end." "But the shaman's intern butted in and announced that they would be saved by a deity named The Golden Dragon." "The shaman freaked out and revoked his intern's course credit for contradicting him." "But it was too late, the villagers had hope again and went back to their ridiculous dance routines." "The name of The Golden Dragon was passed down from generation to generation to, well, until it was forgotten, but then it is remembered again and became legend," "The Legend of The Golden Dragon, and the handsome narrator." "[ Music playing ]" "(KRASH) Move, move, move." "Pick it up, Wally." "I've seen noses that run faster than you." "(ROSA) Yeah, Wally." "Come on, let's go team, onward." "Oh, shake a leg, lamb chop, or are you waiting for me to make applesauce?" "(ROSA) Shake a leg?" "He's quivering all over." "(WALLY) No, I'm not quivering, it's just chilly out here." " Aren't you guys chilly?" " (KRASH) Go." "Careful of the loose ones." "(WALLY) Oh, which ones are the loose ones?" "(KRASH) All of them." "Hop those legs, Wally." "Don't look down." "Nobody's stupid enough to look down... oh." "(ROSA) Faster." "(KRASH) Need a little lift there, buddy?" "Oh, that's it." "I just can't make it." "Go on, save yourselves." "Oh, wait for me." "[ Music playing ]" "(KRASH) Faster!" "Move, team, go, go, go, go, go!" "Oh, yeah." "(ROSA) Yeah." "Perfect." "(WALLY) Perfect?" "This is perfect?" "What's next?" "A group checking the dentist?" "[ Music playing ]" "Oh, my horoscope was right." "I should've stayed under the bed today!" "Whoa." "(KRASH) Rock and roll, woo." "(WALLY) Oh, this is not good, not good, oh." "I can't fly." "Whoa." "(KRASH) Wally, no." "What are you doing, Wally?" "What are you..." "Oh, come on, Wally, give me a break." "No." "(ROSA) Oh, Wally, what are you doing up there?" "Get off my head." "Huh?" "(WALLY) What?" "What is it?" "What's going on?" "Oh, why did I have to ask?" "(ROSA) On your right." "Oh." "Are you kidding?" "No." "(ALL) Oh, Wally." " What was that, Wally?" " We are dead." " When I get my hooves on you..." " (DOKKO) Now, now, everybody." "Keep your hooves to yourselves." "I need my computer back." "This isn't fair." "I have another life left." "But you're wrong, you only have one life, and you shouldn't waste it playing video games." "Now, please, Krash, I'm already behind schedule." "Now, we have to stop because Wally's afraid of a stupid 8-bit toad?" "But I wasn't scared." "I was surprised by how scary it was." "Whoa." "(OTTO) Oh, here we go, girl, hop, hop, very good, good girl." "Hop, hop." "Great." "Not now." "Not yet." "Oh, ow." "Well..." "[ Indistinct muttering ]" "Holy carrot." "(DOKKO) Ah, our master pilot, is this beauty ready for our big flight overseas tomorrow?" "It's an auspicious day." "Yeah, everything's ship shape, except the couple sticky thing flips, nothing a few whacks with a frying pan can't fix." " You got a frying pan?" " Frying pan?" "I might have a fondue pot somewhere." "Aah, close enough." "Hey, guys, open hatch, 12:00." "It looks like today won't be a complete waste after all, huh?" "Yeah, what are we waiting for?" "Waiting for?" "We all just saw that thing crash out of the sky, and catch fire, like a roman candle." "This is ridiculous." "Tell them, Rosa." " (ROSA) Wally, hurry up..." " (WALLY) Rosa?" "Rosa?" "Shh." "Uh, who?" "Me?" "Be right there." "No, I won't." "Oh, forget it." "Stay on the ground like a wiggly worm." "[ Engine revving ]" "Let's get airborne." "(DOKKO) Have a good test flight." "Ha-ha, they're all aboard, baby cakes." "Clear the decks, chocks away." "Increase the power." "Turbines, for speed." "What is this blinking light?" "Ah, that's better." "[ Engine revving ]" "Oh, no." "Wally?" "Hi, there." "Sorry, I'm a little nervous." "The big conference is tomorrow, and I haven't practiced my speech yet." "Imagine, the scientific luminary like Dokko unprepared." "I could use your help if you have the time." "Oh." "[ Music playing ]" "(WALLY) Time?" "I've got nothing but time, because I'm Wally." "What did they want from me?" "I'm not a professional gamer or a test pilot." "Hmm?" "Oh, klutz." "(KRASH) What about that loop-the-loop?" "I thought my guts were gonna fly out of my ears." "(BERRY) Yeah, there was so much blood in my brain," "I thought my eyes were gonna pop out." " So, Rosa..." " (ROSA) Uh-huh?" "Oh." "I could never be as athletic as Krash," " or as strong as Berry." " (BERRY) Hey." " (KRASH) Oh, hey, Berry." " (BERRY) So what's Dokko dreamed up for us this time, do you think?" "(ROSA) He said it was the invention of the century." "(BERRY) Of course, he did." "And I'm going to help him demonstrate the latest invention of the century." "Oh, you're in for a good time." "Oh, terrific." "(DOKKO) Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest mind of our time, the moose who put the I in science, Dokko." "Ta-da." "(KRASH) Do we clap?" " (ROSA) Nah." " In preparation for our big flight to the FRED conference, the Festival of Ranting Engineering Dweebs, welcome to this..." "Sorry, I'm late." "That fiber will sneak up on you like a ninja." "You didn't miss anything, just the greatest invention" " of all time again." " Ahem." "And now, at last, a revolution in self-help, a miracle of modern technology." "The wonderful, Improve-riser..." "This is where you applaud madly." "Huh?" "[ Applause ] Uh-huh." "[ Bell dings ]" "(WALLY) Improve-riser?" "And just what is this improve-rising?" "Only total co-use of cognitive and motor skills." "[ Clapping ]" "Or in layman's terms, borrowing someone's talents by means of this slick and fashionable headgear." "For example, some of us are excellent dancers, or can play guitar, or run very fast." "Now, by simply wearing this helmet, you can trade any ability with anyone else." " I can learn..." " Oh, yes." "Dokko?" "Could Chiko weed my tulip garden?" "Just as good as I can?" "(KRASH) Hey, wait a minute." "[ Sneezes ]" "(DOKKO) Allow me to demonstrate how the Improve-riser operates." "Let's observe, if I could just be joined by my strapping, and athletic, and daring young assistant, right there." " What?" " He's just mad." " No way." " Oh." " (WALLY) Me?" " Sorry, I meant Krash, obviously." "(KRASH) That's me." "Go, Krash!" "All right." "Now, who out there would like to jump like Krash?" "Give it a try." " Come on, Olga, go for it." " (KRASH) Come on, you can do it." "(DOKKO) Right, it's time to make history." "Here's how it works, with the helmet securely on the subject's head, like so, the abilities are transferred from the donor all the way across to the lucky recipient." "With only a push of a button." "[ Electronic whirring ]" "Oh." "Oh!" "[ Electronic noise ]" "How are you feeling?" "Oh, fidgety." "[ Music playing ]" "Go." "Whoa, whoa." "Taking a roll." "Try to catch me." "You can't catch me." "I'm truly a genius, yes, truly." "And if you want to switch over to your original abilities, just press the button thing one more time, no problem." "Everything will go straight back to normal." "Look at it." "[ Indistinct ]" "Yeah, science." " Outstanding." " Just amazing." "[ Indistinct chatter ]" "Sizzling..." "Just incredible." "(WALLY) Enough of the sheepish, sheep." "Tomorrow, the whole world meets a brave, new Wally." "[ Thunder rumbling]" "[ Door opening ]" "[ Snoring ]" "Nice... and gentle." "Nice... huh?" "[ Door slams shut ]" "(OTTO) I'm so sorry." "Chocks away." "* Chocks away *" "* in a hammock you' ll stay*" "[ Snoring ]" "[ Door opening ]" "Okay." "[ Thunder rumbling ]" "There." "Yes." "Ah, okay." "[ "Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Strauss, playing ]" "I'm sure Krash will be more than happy to lend me a little bravery, yeah, just a bit here, he'll never miss it." "Now, while I'm here, hmm." "Oh, of course, it wouldn't hurt to get a smidge of Berry's strength and a little of Dokko's smarts," "Carlin's talent and Olga's..." "Huh?" "What?" "Don't look at me like that." "Like you wouldn't do exactly the same thing." "Okay." "Now, it's time, good-bye, old Wally." "Get ready, world, for the new upgraded Wally." "Whoa." "[ Music playing ]" "Whoa." "Oh." "That can't be good." "Oh, no, you bug, get out of here." "[ Bell dings ]" "(WALLY) What happened?" "Where am I?" "Oh, there I am." "Wait, what?" "How can I be over there when I'm right over here?" "Oh, no." "Oh, crud, oh, crud, oh, crud!" "Wait a minute." "That thing's not an Improve-riser, it's a switcheriser." "All right, Wally, just don't panic, you can change it back." "Whoa." "I'll put things back to the way they were, that's all, just back to the way they were." "Okay, guy." "Just hang on." "Oh." "Just." "How am I supposed to move around on these things?" "Hey, you, we need to change back, right now." "Stop eating carrots and listen to me." "You don't even like carrots!" "Wait." "No, stop." "Stop, right there, right now." "Listen, mister, do not get me angry." "There, good, good, just like that." "Great, it'll be all be over in a minute." "We're just going to press one incy button and... oh." "No, no, no, no, no." "Are you freaking kidding me?" "[ Screaming ]" "Coffee." "(KRASH) I'll have a carrot juice on the rocks." "(CARLIN) What's four letters meaning ancient battle axe?" "What?" "Olga, that's an easy one." "(ROSA) Snacks." "Too bad Wally's not here." " (ROSA) Tea." " You're sure you tried..." "Yeah." "Yeah, I almost beat his doors out." "How could he miss this soothing flight in the clouds?" "[ Music playing ]" "[ Screaming ]" "(OTTO) Time to flipping the flippers." "I wonder what this one does." "Pin, let me know when you get tired." "I can take over for you, no problem." "don'tfly." "That's hysterical." "What's next?" "A sandwich for a president?" "Coffee, please." "[ Screaming ]" "Oh." "Oh, no, no." "I'm never going outside again!" "[ Music playing ]" "[ Electricity crackling ]" "(OTTO) What gives, you hunk of gerümpel,  you stupid [ Indistinct ]!" "Nein, nein, nein, nein!" "[ Music playing ]" "Four letters, a call for aide." "Tea." "(OLGA) Thanks." "Coffee." "(MAN) * My rock and roll *" "* Rock and roll *" "(MAN) * Sex-bomb, sex bomb *" "* You're a sex bomb *" "* You can give it to me *" "* When I need to come along... *" "(MAN) * My rock and roll *" "* Rock and roll *" "[ Metal clanking ]" "(OTTO) You can stop... and climb again." "[ Screaming ]" "Huh?" "Pin, I need your help." "Who says this?" "Whoa." "No." "Not that lever, not that lever." "Not that lever." "Oh, no." "(OLGA) Who turned off the gravity?" "(BERRY) I don't know, but it wasn't me." "(OLGA) Well, somebody better turn it back on." "(BERRY) Oh, that's good." "But not quite, mate." "Everyone, out." "Go." "Go." "Go." "(DOKKO) My Improve-riser." "(ROSA) I forgot to lock my tray table." "(BERRY) Come on, slow pokes, no time to lollygag." "(ROSA) Well, at least this beats serving drinks." "(BERRY) Hey, heads up." "(ROSA) So what do I now...?" "(BERRY) Alright, who doesn't have a parachute yet?" " Speak up." " (WALLY) I'm speaking up." " Don't leave me here." " (KRASH) Geronimo." "(WALLY) Berry, wait for me." "No." "Don't even think about it." "Berry, watch out." "[ Screaming ]" "[ Music playing ]" "[ Screaming ]" "(KRASH) This is awesome." " (MAN) This is terrifying." " (BERRY) Where is it?" "Hey." "This isn't my parachute." "Huh?" "Berry." "What the...?" "(KRASH) I can't steer this thing." "[ Screams ]" "(KRASH) I can't steer this thing." "Hit the brakes." "I'm going to hork." "Don't you dare." "(BERRY) The red cord." "Where is the red cord?" "Oh, here." "That wasn't so..." "[ Thudding ]" "(MAN) Chocks away." "(KRASH) I haven't had that much fun since I got stuck in that buttered shirt." "Krash, never let me fly again." "Has anyone seen my glasses?" "Oh, boy." "Have you seen my hat?" "Anybody?" "The Improve-riser, did it survive?" " Anyone?" " Oh, stop crying." "I want to get off." "My body." "Guys, has anybody seen my body around?" "I can't find it anywhere." "(BERRY) Where's my hat?" "I must be seeing things." "What a concussion." "I am not a concussion." " Ew, it's a gross worm." " I'm not gross... (BERRY) There's my hat, you greedy worm." "Oh, here's what we do with these." "[ Grunts ]" "Stop it." "I am not a worm," "I'm Wally." "What the... this stuff ought to have a warning label on it, it may cause talking moth things." "I'm not a moth, I'm a caterpillar..." "No, I'm not a caterpillar, it's me, Wally." "And I just want to find my body." "[ Propellers whirring ]" "[ Crash ]" "[ Music playing ]" "(BERRY) Okay, boys." "We got to somehow find that plane and find a way off this crazy island." "(OLGA) And also find a body, thanks to Edison with antlers over here." "Yes, it's remarkable." "Truly, it is." "Not only does the thing spot the talents, it's actually switching the bodies." " Totally." " Wally, what possessed you to do this?" "You could have died." "(BERRY) That might have been better." "Look at all of those pesky little feet, slimy skin." "I can't even look at you." "(WALLY) Thanks." "Don't be so pessimistic." "Surprises are a part of the scientific process." "Science can do anything when it puts its mind to it." "Wally, we picked you some food." "Let them dry first." "(WALLY) You're too kind." "Hey, come on, go ahead and try it." "(DOKKO) Does he like it?" "(WALLY) Oh, it's just great." "All right." "We'll bring you more later, there's lots." "He didn't die." "Looks like I lost the bet, they're not poisonous." " (OTTO) Lake time." " (ROSA) Finally." "(BERRY) Great." "Time to stretch." "And you, don't you dare change yourself into something else..." "or else!" "(KRASH) Huh?" "Those are strange animal tracks." "What kind of animal has tires for feet?" "Hmm." "(CHIKO) Wally." "Wally, you're a caterpillar, right?" "How kind of you to notice." "So, do you suppose you're going to pupate and stuff?" "That's gross." "I'll try to control myself." "Well, if I were you, Wally," "I wouldn't be quite so confident." "It's all very well to say that you'll try to control yourself, but pupation is involuntary." "So what does that mean?" "Oh, a complete rebirth." "Though, once that happens," "I can't guarantee that the reverse body swap will work." "You're not exactly under warranty." "What?" "Why?" "Why me?" "Why am I always the punchline?" "Oh, it's all because of your Improve-riser, it made me think I could be better like everybody else, I was fine being just Wally." "I was used to it, can't you see?" "Used to it." "I want my life back." "Grab him." "(ROSA) He's going down the hill." " Wally." " (WALLY) I can't swim." "Someone help me." "[ Music playing ]" "(WALLY) I'm too scared to die." "(BERRY) Oh, wait for us." "Wally, don't worry, we'll get you." "Hurry it up." "Whoa!" " Berry." " What?" "[ Music playing ]" "Got it." "I'm losing it." "(WALLY) Krash, thank you." "Finally, it's all over." "No." "[ Screams ]" "(WALLY) Oh, it's not easy being green, or a caterpillar, or trapped in a jar floating down a river." "I'm a sheep, mom." "I'm always wearing a sweater." "Just stay still, maybe he won't see me." "Maybe he'll go away." "Ah, phew." "Things are finally... aaah!" "Why am I so irresistible to seafood?" "[ Screaming ]" "Oh, no, not you again." "Man, it's all right." "Not the jar." "Oh, no, where is it?" "Where?" "Why am I so tasty?" "Oh, that rock..." "How do I get out?" "[ Screaming ]" "[ Screaming ]" "Oh, I take it back." "I like the fish better." "Come on, Wally, pump those caterpillar legs." "Well, at least there's no spider..." "[ Screams ]" "(WALLY) What's that?" "Oh, I don't... well, I don't know what that is." "I'm hallucinating." "You can't possibly be real, right?" "[ Croaking ]" "[ Music playing ]" "Stay away." "I'm extremely poisonous." "[ Grunts ]" "(MAN) What do you mean strange?" "(ALEC) What do you mean strange?" "Come see." "(MAN) How far is it?" "(ALEC) Shh." "It's right..." " Huh?" " ...there." "[ Music playing ]" "(ALEC) Looks like someone was sleepwalking and cut our grass." "(MAN) No." "(ALEC) Then, what..." "What is it?" "(MAN) There." " It's..." " (ALEC) A giant cotton ball?" "(MAN) No." "It's him." "I never thought I'd live to see this moment." "(WALLY) Hello?" "Anyone?" "Anyone that doesn't wanna eat me, I mean." "[ Cracks ]" "[ Growls ]" "Hi, there." "Nice day." "No, sorry." "Terrible day." "What's happening?" "[ Explosion ]" "[ Blows raspberry ]" "Diesel, so this is supposed to be" " the ancient Chief's crypt?" " (DIESEL) Yes." "More like the ancient Chief's dump." "Where's all the gold and the shiny stones, huh?" "What was he Chief of?" "The neighborhood landfill?" "[ Sneezes ]" "Oh, come on, Lara, don't start with that now, please." "Start what?" "This nonsense started seven crypts ago." "Each one is empty as your rock hard cranium." "My mom told me to steer clear of half-baked Indiana Jones-es, but did I listen?" "No." "Hey, it's a really nice vase." "Or a chamber pot, gorgeous one though." "Get that skanky thing out of my face." "We're treasure hunters, not junk dealers." "Aye, more treasures for yours truly." "There you go." "It's time to blow this candy stand." "[ Music playing ]" "[ Explosion ]" " Wally." " Wally." " Wally." " Wa... huh?" "Wally, hey, is that you?" "Hey, buddy boy." "Here you go, little pal." "Oh, easy, fella." "Ow." "Ungrateful worm." "I ought to..." "Hang on, gang." "Does anyone have an odd feeling at the moment?" "Yeah, my tushy fell asleep." "Phew, thanks for asking." "Whoa." "Oh." "Oh, somebody help." "Help." "Let me go." "A village?" "Well, I'll be a pickled pot roast." "[ Music playing ]" "(ALEC) Wisest of the rulers, he who communes with the spirits." "Hey." "Hey, I'm talking to you, King." "Hey, everyone." "This is a pretty righteous party." "Love the beat, right?" "Pop." "[ Laughs ]" "Forgive me, but there's no time for beats." "He has come for real." "He has come?" "What you talking about?" "[ Laughs ]" "The Golden Dragon." "[ Gong ]" "What?" "Well, that's great." "I was not expecting him yet." "[ Laughs ]" "Hey, guys, great news." "The Golden Dragon showed up, yeehaw." "Yes." "I never thought I'd live to see this moment." "[ Natives cheering ]" "Okay." "Rock it." "Now hit us with that all hail thingy." "All hail the great and powerful" "Golden Dragon." "He who shines like the yellow sun and whose awesome power is without limits." " Yes." " (ALL) Golden Dragon... (ALEC) The prophecy is coming true." "He has come." "[ Natives cheering ]" "What am I looking at, hmm?" "An aboriginal cult built around some kind of idol, undoubtedly some strange figure, the likes of which we've never seen." "(ALL) Hail Golden Dragon." "[ Gasps ]" "Call me crazy, but doesn't that look a lot like... (ALL) Hail The Golden Dragon." "Hail The Golden Dragon." "Hail The Golden Dragon." "[ Music playing ]" "(CHIEF) He's so charming and regal" " and handsome." " So magnificent." "The prophecy is coming true." "At last, we are saved." "(CARLIN) Well, that's just lovely." "We got an international conflict on our hands." "Now that he's a deity, they certainly won't just hand him over to us." "(DOKKO) I think the potential for success marginally outweighs the anticipated risk." "I also think I might fall out of this tree." "(CHIEF) Look at him." "What a gorgeous couple he and my daughter are going to make." "I've never been so proud." " Isn't she cute?" " (ALEC) I'm afraid, sir, that the Golden Dragon has a higher purpose than that." "He can have his cake and eat it, too." "Go find out his marital status and be subtle, we wouldn't wanna spook him." "As you wish, sir." "Though the Dragon may not actually speak, or so it seems." "Huh, hmm." "[ Music playing ]" "[ Propeller whirring ]" "(DIESEL) Lara, we've been searching with this contraption for hours." "It's not my fault there's no burial crypts left in this jungle." "Keep whining, and there'll be at least one." "Now keep looking." "[ Laughs ]" "We're not quitting till we strike it big." "Says you." "I've had it." "Let's pack up and hit the road." "(WALLY) No, you can't do that." "[ Both gasp ]" "What potato was that?" "Diesel, how many times have I said, cut out the trash collecting?" "Now we've got a haunted chamber pot." "I think it's Satan!" "Huh?" "Hello." "Kill it." " Whoa." " (LARA) No, leave it behind." "Whoa." "I'm just a bighorn sheep trapped in a bug's body." "See?" "Totally normal." "I have references." " No." " What happened?" " To get to know each other." " Hey, you caught him." "(WALLY) Whoa." "Wait a minute." " Stop." " You got him." "(WALLY) Oh, boy." "Is it...?" "Die." "Huh?" "[ Ceiling fan creaking ]" "Oh, please believe me," "I'm a sheep." "That's so funny." "I can swear that fish is talking." "(WALLY) And that's how I lost my body and my friends in that order." "I can't go on like this." "It's cold without wool." "I need your help to get my body back." "[ Munching ]" "Now let me ask you something, because I was wondering, do we look like a charity for freaks of science?" "Um, no." "I guess you don't." "[ Diesel laughs ]" "Good, because if we were, we'd be broke." "Go find some other idiots." "Or some other body." "[ Laughs ]" "Oh, no." "My pupation is starting." "Help me, help me." "Help." "I could use some help, too, honey, financially." "[ Diesel laughs ]" "I can't control it." "(DIESEL) Lara, he can't control it." "(WALLY) Hurry." "We should call somebody, the pupae brigade or NASA." "(DIESEL) This almost makes up for not having WIFI." "Diesel." "Lara, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "When do we go in?" "(WALLY) I knew you'd come around." "Just, can we hurry up?" "I'm pupating." "[ Music playing ]" "(DOKKO) I can't shake the feeling" " that we're missing something." " Forget it." "I'll tell you what we're missing." "Native moves." "[ Native music playing ]" "(CARLIN) Remember, you gotta blend in with the crowd." "Flaunt it." "Come on." "Jazz toe." "Oh." "It's unbelievable." "We are here sorting bugs, and they decide they've got to go start a boy band, but our opinion doesn't count." "We're just fräuleins." "Yup, that's the way they always treat us girls." "It just seem to be our fate." "Fate my tail." "This job is as disgusting as it is pointless." "Wally." "Wally." "Wally." "(BERRY) Dokko, what's with this makeup?" "I'm itchy all over." "(DOKKO) I really can't see why." "I didn't use that much poison ivy." "All right, guys." "It's show time." "[ Native music playing ]" "(ALEC) Next load of fruit." "Keep it coming." "Pick it up." "The Golden Dragon's mission will require a lot of energy." "Let's do this." "(CARLIN) Keep moving." "Act natural." "Hmm?" "[ Native music playing ]" "That was strange." "Keep it up, guys." "Look for a chance to fan out." "(CARLIN) Now's our moment." "Move it." "Oh, gosh." "(CARLIN) Get ready to rush him." "Wait for my signal." "(BERRY) Itchy, so itchy." "(CARLIN) Keep it together, Berry." "(BERRY) I'm trying, I'm trying." "Imposters." "Seize the strangers." "Told you." "I think they might have caught onto us." "(WALLY) It's starting, pupating." "I'm starting to grow a cocoon." "(DIESEL) Well, do it quietly." "(WALLY) Easy for you to say." "You only ever had one body." "(DIESEL) Oh, will you just man up, you scaredy caterpillar." "I won't be a caterpillar for long if this continues." "Can't this thing go any faster?" "Well, calm down." "Hey, what's that on your back?" " Are those wings?" " What?" "Where?" "Huh?" "Get them off, get them off." "Relax, I'm just kidding, you little green hot dog." "Here we are." "[ Indistinct chatter ]" "See, we're not from around here." "No, but we do come in peace." "Yeah, to pay our respects to the great and powerful" "Golden Dragon." "[ Natives chanting ]" "[ Blowing ]" "[ All blowing ]" "[ Natives cheering ]" "(KRASH) * It is the time... *" "* Pleasing just like the sun... *" "* He's come at last *" "* The golden one... *" "[ Music playing ]" "* Came from the sky with the fire in his gut *" "* Proven that the gecko and the grasses eat at night *" "* To save this world that's why he came *" "* like a fluffy-uffy flame*" "(ALL) * Golden, Golden Dragon *" "(KRASH) * Good God y'all *" "* Can you feel me?" "*" "* Golden Dragon, yeah, Golden Dragon, yeah *" "* Golden Dragon, yeah, Golden Dragon, yeah *" "(ALL) * Dragon, woo *" "* Dragon, woo *" "Hey, you like it?" "(KRASH) * Golden Dragon *" "Release them, true believers." "Release them." "[ Native music playing ]" "(KRASH) Follow me." "What are you waiting for?" "(CARLIN) We're the ones carrying Wally's body." "What are you doing?" "I'm navigating." "Starboard ten degrees." "(CARLIN) Krash, wait for us." "Everyone else's costume riding up?" "[ All panting ]" "Let's take a breather." "(CHIEF) A smart move," " very smart." " (KRASH) We're dead." "Decided to see the library while you're here?" "Oh, the library?" "Oh, yeah." "You guys got good taste." "Hmm, yes, indeed." "Yeah, we can't wait." "Alec, go on and give them the whole mini tour." " Huh?" " Uh-hmm." "You know how I love your mini tour." "You're the best." "Well, if I must." "The prophecy set in stone by our ancestors of old speaks of the coming of The Golden Dragon." "Notice the delicate carving work and the striking realism of the painting." " Huh?" " It's Wally." "Well, I mean, The Gold Dragon." "What a likeness." "No, that's where an old hunk of cheese hit the wall." "This is it." "Hmm." "Would you look at that, it's beautiful." "(CHIEF) I know, right?" "Hey, I like you guys." "By the way, are any of you single?" "Because I got a daughter, and she's as single as they come." "I have... oh, as our hearts, belong to the Golden Dragon." "We've all taken a vow of celibacy." "Not my day." "That's right." "Shall we move on to the next exhibit?" "The prophecy says the Golden Dragon's arrival will bring great joy followed by glee, elation, delight, slight dizziness, and finally, bliss, which we are all experiencing now." "Yeah, yeah, I agree." "So his work here is done, and off he goes on his way." "Congrats." "Not congrats." "For what follows next is no less than unspeakable horror." "[ Music playing ]" "But the next part of the prophecy is broken off." "So, nobody knows exactly what this unspeakable horror is." "But we shall indeed be saved from even this by the great and wise" "Golden Dragon." "A comfort to know you're in good hands." "(DIESEL) All right." "This is not looking good." "First of all, the place has these high rock walls, and the worms' carcass is right in the middle, here." "Plus, he's surrounded by insane natives and lookouts in towers here, here, and here, all with poison-tip spears." "Oh, great." "Got it." "So, when do we all get moving?" "Shut up, alien." "I am trying to convey that this is not a two-person job we got here." "Two person?" "There are three." "You forgot Lara." "I've had enough of you, hot dog." "Why don't you just stick a pineapple in it, and fly off, and save your own sorry body?" "Huh, that could work." "[ Chuckling ]" "This is the worst idea in the history of terrible ideas." "Oh." "If sheep were meant to fly, we would have big, fluffy wings." "Oh, oh, this is insane." "Oh." "(DIESEL) Cut the screaming." "Over." "Oh, this plan makes no sense." "Of course, it does." "Just take that pineapple near the body, and it's a done deal, baby." "Oh, I'm about to be killed by a tree, a monstrous, evil tree." "Don't do that." "Just turn it." "Turn it to the side." "But how?" "Actually, I have no idea." "Oh." "Oh, well, so much for that plan." "(WALLY) Ha." "Take that, tree." "Score one, Wally." "Yeah." "(DIESEL) Jeepers, you had us worried, you grubby little dork." "[ Music playing ]" "I'm flying." "You hear me?" "I'm flying." "Yay." "[ Music playing ]" "Hot Dog to base." "No, scratch that." "From this point on, you can call me" "Captain Larvo." "(DIESEL) Settle down up there." "(WALLY) Yes, with purpose, he'll soar, hear him bark, hear him roar that amazing [ Indistinct ]" "Captain Larvo." "(CARLIN) Come on, Gary, get with it." "(GARY) Oh, come on." "It's the middle of the night." "I need my beauty sleep." "(CHIKO) No kidding." "(KRASH) Shh, shh, quiet everyone." "All right." "Now, can it." "Good, everyone's sound asleep." "Yeah." "And they got the right idea." "You go, I'll just be leaning right here." "Oh." "(ALL) No, no, no, no, no." "Killer drum solo, dude." "Rock on." "(CHIKO) Okay." "Now I'm awake." "(CARLIN) All right, guys." "Let's get us a Golden Dragon." "Hmm." "Captain Larvo to base." "This place is a lot darker at night for some reason." " Over." " (DIESEL) Quit the whining." " Over." " Quitting the whining." " Over." " (DIESEL) Roger that." "Over." "(WALLY) Can I say something other than over?" "Over." " Oh." " Shh, quiet." "(CARLIN) Don't step on the zealots." " (KRASH) Grab it and run." " (CARLIN) No running." "You'll drop it." "Stroll." "Sound the alarm." "Do we have an alarm?" "Build an alarm." "Sorry about that." "Oh, oh, green alert." "The natives are taking him away." "I mean, me..." "I mean, help." "When in doubt, blow things up." "You crazy?" "We need that body." "Listen, Captain Lard for Brains, do not wimp out now!" "Okay, fine." "I guess I'll try." "Oh." "Go, go, go, go, go." "Come on, let's move it, move it." "(CARLIN) Now pick it up with scamper." "(CHIKO) I prefer a trot." "Pineapple away." "Feel the wrath of my mighty pineapple." "Hey." "(DOKKO) Oh, heading back victorious from a dangerous mission." "Oh, that's a good feeling." "(CHIKO) Yeah, Wally just feels lighter and lighter." "(DOKKO) Unless we got stronger." "Me manly." "What is this strange object?" "Huh?" "Well, I'll be." "Uh-oh, that pineapple is trying to steal Wally." "Oh, after it." " Go." " Go." "[ Indistinct chatter ]" "(DOKKO) Trey, can you make it?" " (CHIKO) Follow that fruit." " (WALLY) I've been spotted." " What should I do?" " Find a back way out." "Roger, you got it." "(CHIKO) No, this way." "Sorry." "Track practice." "Thanks." "[ Music playing ]" "(WALLY) Base, come in base." "Huh?" "Oh, great." "Just what I needed." "A dropped call." "All right, Captain Larvo." "You're on your own." "(CARLIN) Stop." "Son of a sheep." "Attention, passenger." "We are ready for take-off." "Oh, after all that..." "Oh, he..." "No." "[ Native music playing ]" "(ALEC) All right." "What did you do with the Golden Dragon, hmm?" "You wouldn't believe us if we told you, bub." "Huh?" "Hi, honeys." "I'm home." "(ROSA) I'm telling you, something's gone wrong." "All they had to do was steal Wally's body from a tribe of savage natives." "How long can that take?" "Patience, my dear." "Patience." "It's a woman's finest virtue." "Three years ago, I asked Berry to hammer a nail to hang my pot holder." "[ Laughing ]" "Think he's gotten around to it?" "That's what I'm saying." "How long are we supposed to wait?" "Sister... it's time to hammer some nails." "[ Crash ]" "Hmm?" "Oh, yeah, we're gonna hammer some nails, alright." "[ Birds chirping ]" "Look at it, it's so beautiful." " Yeah." " And, oh..." "I love antiques, especially the ones worth a butt-load." "I'll tell you, spirits are flying." "I bank left, they're there." "I bank right." "They're still there." "So I climb, climbing, and climbing, and, I did it." "I did it all by myself without any Improve-riser at all, just me, just Wally." "Huh?" "Huh?" "And I even got my body." "Woohoo." "Okay." "Let's do this, you guys." "It's time to fire it up." "What do you say?" "(DIESEL) Aha, cool." "So, how do you work this thing?" "First, you pull the little lever there, then you turn the knob till the power's at maximum," " and then you're all set." " (DIESEL) Uh-hmm, uh-hmm." "(WALLY) Just press that button on top." "Okay, got it." "Hang on." "Good-bye, old Wally." "Hello, new and improved Wally." "[ Music playing ]" "[ Electronic noise ]" "Bullseye." "How was it?" "Strange and woozy." "(WALLY) But I'm still a caterpillar." "You worked the machine wrong." "But, no, no, wait." "You were supposed to focus the beam at me." "Oh, oh," "I have this horrible compunction to go and make these natives give me all their gold." "All of it." "How could they refuse the needs of their very own god?" "Yeah." "They can never deny you, now that you're such a beautiful deity." "Oh, are you saying I look better as a sheep?" "(DIESEL) No, no." "Totally not saying that at all." "(GWEN) Oh, you are so sleeping in the garbage can tonight." " You're unbelievable." " You used me." "But I got to admit, that loser caterpillar bought it all." "[ Laughing ]" "(WALLY) Hold it right there." "I won't let you use my body for criminal activities, except cheating at board games." "Do you understand me?" "Huh?" "Do you?" " He ain't fooling." " So, hear me roar, darn it." "Aah." "Aaaah!" "(GWEN) Got him!" "[ Panting ]" "(DIESEL) We don't negotiate with terrorists, especially those that have been brainwashed!" "[ Laughing ]" "And you're telling us all, the Golden Dragon is a caterpillar?" "Yeah, yeah." "A squishy, little caterpillar." " Uh-hmm." " (ALEC) Right." "Yeah." "And flying pineapples." "But the caterpillar was totally into it." "What?" "I've never heard more obnoxious blasphemy." "You have defiled our god, the memory of our greatest ancestors, our very culture." "Huh?" "Huh?" "[ Door creaks ]" "(ALL) Oh." "He has returned." "All hail the Golden Dragon." "He has returned." "[ Cheering ]" "(ALEC) What are you waiting for?" "Get over there and start pampering him." "Helper." "Somebody give him a pineapple." "We are saved." "The greedy worm has returned." "Yeah, I guess, there's no need to execute all of us now." "[ Music playing ]" "Oh, I was dreaming about pudding." "I was a good party guest, I think." "[ Chuckles ]" "Your worshipfulness Golden Dragon." "Allow us to present you with a token of our worthiness and respect." "The Golden, Golden Dragon." "[ Music playing ]" "(MAN) [ Chanting in foreign language ]" "Now, that's what I'm talking about." "Come to mama, golden boy." "It worked." "He speaks." " He speaks." " He speaks?" "(ALL) He speaks." " (MAN) He speaks." " (ALL) The Golden Dragon speaks." "(WALLY) Oh, oh." "Oh, who was I kidding?" "Captain Larvo?" "More like Captain Blunder or Can't Man, except, you know, sheep." "No, caterpillar, whatever." "Now, you can just call me The Incredible Suck." "(DIESEL) Come now, caterpillar, one more bitey-witey." "Gotta keep up our strength." "(WALLY) Can this get any weirder?" "(DIESEL) Here comes the choo-choo into the face-face." " (LARA) Diesel." " Huh?" " (LARA) Diesel." " Huh?" "Hello?" "Guess what these mental midgets have done." "They melted all the gold into a giant chunk." "This thing is so big, we're gonna have to use the crane." "And hurry up." "This body smells terrible." "(ALEC) We've always believed in the Golden Dragon." "Unlike some trash talking weirdies." "And now, could you save us from the deathly terror?" "Yeah." "What's that thing, two tons, closer to three?" "Now, the worm is talking." "Am I hearing things?" " Maybe it's Wally again." " Huh?" "Wally?" "Is it you?" "(ALL) Wally, Wally, Wally." " (BERRY) It's us." " (ALL) Hey." "Can you hear us?" "Wally." "Wally." "What the huh?" "It's my friends." "[ Grunts ]" "(BERRY) All right, Wally, enough." "Time for you to stop joking and tell these folks you're not the Golden Dragon." "Do it." "Go." "(ALL) Huh?" "(DIESEL) * Gold, gold,  *" "*  *" "[ Music playing ]" "(CARLIN) Looks like the execution's back on." "(LARA) Hey, let's get this blasphemer barbecue going." "Your Golden Dragon loves you and you, and you, and you, and your gold." "Oh, yeah." "Bring it." "Boom-shaka-shaka- shaka-boom." "(WALLY) [ Grunts ]" "[ Music playing ]" "Huh?" "I'm free." "[ Screams ]" "Hey." "Hey, don't eat that." "[ Metal clanging ]" "[ Gasps ]" "(ALL) [ Cheering ]" "(DIESEL) Ready?" "And snatch." "[ Music playing ]" "[ Grunts ]" "(KRASH) Oh, no." " Whoa." " (KRASH) Bad idea." "[ Music playing ]" "Well, bless my bullion." "Would you look at that." "[ Music playing ]" "[ Engine revving ]" "(DIESEL) What's going on?" "Reverse!" "(DIESEL) Forward!" "Lara, help me!" "This must stop." "This must stop." "Diesel." "Diesel." "You stop." "I'm right here." "Don't ignore me." "I can hear you ignoring me." "Lara?" "Whoa." "(WALLY) I'm coming." "I'm coming." "I'm coming." "[ Screaming ]" "Almost there." "Oh, sorry." "I'm so sorry." "Back off." "Hey." "[ Tires screeching ]" "Get off of there." "Whoa." "I thought they were just going to burn us." "(KRASH) This is the appetizer." "Diesel." "[ Tires screeching ]" "[ Grunts ]" "Lara." "Lara?" "Huh?" "It's not my fault, Lara." "It was Hotdog." "I swear." "Look, those balls of blasphemy are about to steal the Golden Dragon." "It wasn't us this time, huh?" "[ Grunts ]" "[ Truck engine revving ]" " Let's move on out." " (ALEC) Get the defilers." "Don't let them get away." "We hit the jackpot." "[ Laughs ]" "[ Music playing ]" " (WALLY) Stop." " Huh?" "Hey, I said stop." "(DIESEL) Huh, here's your stop, Hotdog." "[ Screaming ]" "[ Panting ]" "[ Birds chirping ]" "[ Growls ]" "No." "[ Explosion ]" "[ Crashing ]" "[ Indistinct murmuring ]" "[ Rumbling, crashing ]" "This is the best party ever." "I love you, guys." "[ Snores ]" "[ Music playing ]" "(PIN) Hop, nice friend giant, hop!" "Is there a seatbelt around here?" "[ Music playing ]" "[ Glass breaks ]" "[ Whips ]" "[ Music playing]" "(WALLY) Let's go." "Yee-hah." "Ride it, ribbit." "Yeah." "[ Rumbling ]" "[ Explosion ]" "Whoa." "It is... the deathly terror." "[ Explosion ]" "Please save us." "Please, Golden Dragon." "[ Laughs ]" "Hey, did you feed my body?" "You know it." "[ Engine revving ]" "[ Music playing ]" "(WALLY) There's nothing to fear but the spear itself." "(DIESEL) With this treasure, we can live a life of leisure for like, uh," " three months." " (LARA) You're thinking small." "With that body swapper doohickey, we can steal all the gold in the world." "[ Laughs ]" "Banzai." "[ Beams ]" "Huh?" "Yes, finally." "Diesel." " Lara?" " Wally." "[ Crash ]" "Oh, no." "No." "[ Grunts ]" "That's for my throwing my friends around, buddy." "[ Engine revving ]" "The defilers are trying to throw off their tracks." "(BERRY) Now, what do we do?" "[ Music playing ]" "Quit staring at me and stop that Hotdog, dingbat." "Right, right." "(LARA) Do it." "Down right here." "No." "What happened now?" "I'm coming back for you, guys." "(LARA) Diesel, you're not just a dingbat, you're the king of the dingbats." "What a lovely, whoa, thing to say." "My body." "You're beautiful as always." "I like that." " That's cheese." " Stop him." "You got it." "(WALLY) Take that." "[ Engine revving ]" "(DIESEL) Wait." "Now who am I?" "Hands off my curly carcass." "Diesel, where are you?" "(DIESEL) Over here." "Hey, Hotdog." "And Captain Larvo's driving." "Diesel, which one are you?" "Sheep, and bang!" "(ALEC) Looks like the worst part of the ancient prophecy is starting to happen." "[ Music playing ]" "[ Grunts ]" " (DIESEL) Lara." " (WALLY) Oh, geez," "I'm a bug again." "You kids, stop fighting." "(DIESEL) No, not a thing." "Get away." "[ Explosion ]" "(LARA) Keep driving." "[ Music playing ]" "(CARLIN) Don't give up." "Berry doesn't give up." "I got this." "Help us, please." "(LARA) Just hold the wheel." "(DIESEL) You mean this big bango?" "(LARA) Hey, hey, we're losing cargo." "(WALLY) Whoa, whoa." "Whoa, whoa." "(BERRY) Help." "Somebody." "[ Coughs ]" "Son of a gun." "Why is it only in ancient legends that the lifesaving dragon actually appear?" "[ Gasps]" "Hang in there, guys." "[ Music playing ]" "(WALLY) What?" "No." "No, no, no." "Not now." "Oh, please, please not now." "Oh." "[ Buzzes ]" "[ Music playing ]" "(WALLY) No, not now." "Not now." "No, no, not now." "[ Grunts ]" "No." "(BERRY) Help." "(KRASH) [ Indistinct ]" " Hot, hot, hot, hot." " (BERRY) Oh, somebody." "[ Helicopter blades whirring ]" "(CARLIN) My friends, it's seems it's time for the final curtain to fall." "(WALLY) Hold on tight." "I'm coming." " What?" " It's Wally." "I'm coming." "I'll try to jimmy the the lock." "(BERRY) It's all over." "(CARLIN) Got to keep it, Berry." "Oh." "(DOKKO) Wally, you'll never get it." "A bug just doesn't have the necessary strength." "[ Coughs ]" "(WALLY) That's a theory worth testing, Dokko." "Help us, Golden Dragon." "Come on, from the diaphragm." "Help us, Golden Dragon." "[ Grunts ]" "Help us, Golden Dragon." "Help us Golden Dragon." "Help us..." "[ Music playing ]" "Oh." "(KRASH) Guys, I think Chiko's on fire." "Just my feet." "(DOKKO) Astonishing." "Wally did it." "[ Gasps ]" "Did I get something right?" "Yes, Wally." "You saved us all." "[ Tired laughing ]" "(BERRY) Sweet little disgusting slumped worth." " (OLGA) Well, now." " Huh?" "You boys look like you can use a lift." "(ROSA) If you're all finished with your sonnet, that is." "(OTTO) I tweak my beak." "dofly." "Nice going there, ladies." "That's even nuttier than the flying pineapple incident." "Hey, hey." "You boys, you better hold on to your metaphorical acts." "(ROSA) Because this is what it sounds like when pigs fly." "(MAN) Well, I did not see this coming." "[ Helicopter blades whirring ]" "[ Music playing ]" "(WALLY) What on earth are they doing down there?" "Our only hope of surviving this is the Golden Dragon." "So come on and let him really hear you." "(BERRY) That is not going to work." "Why are they just sitting there?" "Why aren't they running?" "Because they're waiting to be saved by the Golden Dragon." "Are they all completely deranged?" "Hey, hey, primitive villagers, you can't just sit there and wait for the Golden Dragon to come and save you." "That's not how it works." "He only helps those who help themselves." "So get yourselves up off the ground and save yourselves." "It's what the Golden Dragon would want." "Can anybody make out what the blasphemers are saying?" "(BERRY) Listen to Wally." "I think they're telling us it's the finale." "(CHIEF) Wowzers, the spirits just sent me one humdinger of a dream, oh, my goodness." "I was dreaming of eating pudding, of course, but the pudding looked like the Golden Dragon." "And you know what that Golden Pudding Dragon said?" "He said, "Just listen to Wally and fend for yourselves, and then eat me, I'm a yummy pudding"" "or something like that, yeah." "[ Explosion ]" "Ah, can I take one teensy-eensy little catnap without the world ending?" "Fend for yourselves, like the Golden Pudding Dragon said." "(DIESEL) I don't need a driving lesson right now." "But you're driving like a cub scout." "Move it, brothers." "Hurry up, move it." "[ Engine revving ]" "(LARA) The gold, protect the gold." "I'm driving, you protect the gold." "You can't just sit there and wait." "Move it, move it." "Ah, keep it moving, sweet cakes." "[ Indistinct crowd chatter ]" "[ Cracks ]" "[ Rumbling ]" "[ Indistinct crowd chatter ]" "What is it?" "[ Indistinct ] You guys." "[ Engine revs ]" "[ Grunting ]" "(LARA) My mother warned me." "[ Explosion ]" "Oh." "Look up in the sky, it's a bird." "(ALEC) It's some kind of man-made flying device." "(BOY) It's the Golden Dragon." "[ Rumbling ]" "[ Cheering ]" "[ Music playing ]" "(GIRL) The dragon saved us." "[ Music playing ]" "[ Explosions ]" "(CARLIN) We've just witnessed an ancient prophecy come true." "(ALL) Wow." "(ROSA) Heads up, guys, there's some kind of object at 12:00." "(BERRY) There you are, you greedy worm." "Wally, it's your body." "Yeah." "Ain't that something?" "Hey, Wally?" "Can you hear me?" "Wally." "Stay with us, buddy, hurry, hurry, hurry." "(BERRY) Stop, hold it, oh." "(KRASH) Quick, run, run, run, run, come on, come on, come on." "Hang in there, Wally, okay," " we're coming." " Coming up on your body, buddy." "Activate." "Now, back everyone, back." "[ Laser beams ]" "[ Electronic whirring, fizzles ]" "I don't understand." "It should be activating." " What happens?" " Maybe it's the battery." "The battery's fine." "It just isn't working." "Wally, we'll be right with you." "Don't move." "Nobody panic, just nobody panic." "Just one minute." " God, we don't have a minute." " Everything is fine." "Doohickey's intact." "Phase widget." " Beam gizmo?" " Ah, for the love of peace, just fix it." "(GIRL) Get the heating pad." "(OTTO) They got us for the day." "Attach this to that..." "Oh..." "It's..." "There's no time left, this is it, guys." "Holy carrot, come on." "(OLGA) He's passing out." " Carlin, do something." " Oh, I can't even watch this." "What have we done wrong?" "[ Indistinct chatter ]" "Coming through." "[ Beams ]" "[ Music playing ]" "[ Birds chirping ]" "(WALLY) Look at you, guys." "What, is the sky falling?" "What, you act like you've never seen a body-jacking butterfly before?" "It's just like I could still hear his voice." "Can somebody tell me why I feel like I just got smacked on the head really hard by a bear?" "[ Laughing ]" "Boy, if that don't take the cake." "(ALL) Wally." "[ Cheering ]" "(OLGA) We thought that you had flown away forever." "Oh, no way." "Flying's for the birds." "[ Laughs ]" "Son of a sheep." "[ Laughing ]" "Look, I'm really sorry" "I caused all this trouble." "[ Poofs ]" "Which is never going to stop." "Are you referring to this worthless hunk of junk?" "(WALLY) The improve-riser?" "Oh, stop it." "I thought that I had invented something unique." "But it turns out that there is a little improve-riser inside every last one of us." "(BERRY) [ Laughing ]" "So Chiko can weed my tulip garden just as good as me?" "Hallelujah." "(ALL) [ Laughing ]" "[ Helicopter blades whirring ]" "(WALLY) So, yeah, I'm just Wally, and I'll never be as clever and nimble as Krash, or strong as Berry, or as smart as Dokko, but watch out world, machine or not," "Wally the sheep has been improve-rised and mutton's never gonna be the same again." "[ Helicopter blades whirring ]" "(DOKKO) Nein, nein, nein, not now, you stupid wreck of metal." "(ROSA) Relax, this hunk of metal is fine." ", Fräuleinair." "Now, Pin, get to work." "(OTTO) Ja, ja, tea, coffee, tea, coffee?" "[ Music playing ]" "[ Wind howling ]" "(LARA) Ugh, my mother warned me that you were the biggest dingbat in the long sad history of dingbats." "How could you call me that?" "I'm the pretty one now." "Thank you for making me hate my own face." "And that's mine," "King Dingbat." "Why didn't I listen to my mother?" "Huh?" "Well, technically, at this point, she's my mother." "[ Music playing ]" "[ Native music playing ]" "[ Singing in foreign language ]" "[ Drum beating ]" "(MAN) [ Singing in foreign language ]" "[ Music playing ]" "(MAN) [ Singing in foreign language ]"