"Previously on This Is Us" "I love our life." "I love it right now." "And I'm so scared of changing it." "I'm not gonna stand for anything changing between us." "I don't want to be different from them." "Different from who?" "Who, the kids at school?" "If I get an "A," I'll get ice cream, and Kate and Kevin won't, and then they'll hate me." "I can't fall for a fat person right now." "I guess I'll lose the weight then." "What did I do to deserve this?" "You've done a lot of really nice things for me, so I wanted to return the favor." "By cutting up cardboard into little squares and putting it in a bowl?" "Yum." "Hey, so, Kevin, it's been a few days now, you know, since you showed up." " Without calling." " Right." "I was just sort of wondering..." "When you leaving?" "Yeah." "Washing machine is officially cooked." "She's still got some life in her, at least" " six more cycles." " Jack, we have three infants." "We're gonna be doing six cycles by noon." "Jack?" "Yeah." "I need your help." "It's leaking everywhere." "This is bail out!" "My God." "This is the best washing machine in the entire world." "I'm actually turned on by this washing machine." "I'm gonna show you turned on." " You are?" " I am." " Big Three!" " Big Three!" "I just want to do a small kitchen remodel." "Just some new cabinets, maybe some new countertops." "Give me those, Randall, they're my bouncy balls." "But Mom gave them to me." "You said "butt."" "You said "balls."" "What the hell, Kevin?" "Turn the lights out, man, it's 2:00 a.m." "Damn it, Kevin, you ruined it." "It's all ruined." "Hey, man, I'm..." "I'm sorry, dude." "Don't." " What are you doing?" " I'm trying to help you." "Look, I'm sorry I touched your precious woobie." " That thing reeks by the way." " It's the blanket I was left in, Kevin." "Well, it doesn't mean you can't wash it once in awhile." " What's your problem?" " What's my problem?" "Yes, what's your problem?" "What's my problem?" "Dude, it's 2:00 a.m." " and all the lights are still on!" " Hey, guys." "What in the name of God could you possibly be fighting about right now?" " He threw a football at my face." " He keeps waking me up." "Shh." "And I need to get sleep because I have a big game tomorrow." "Okay, Kevin, but Randall has a lot of homework, and now that he's on the football team," " he has a lot less time do do it." " And why does he suddenly need to be on the football team?" "What do I have to do with you guys?" "Do I have to make you go sleep in separate rooms?" " Yes, actually that'd be great." " No, Mom..." "Okay, that won't work because the only empty room in the house" " is the basement." " I want it." "Kevin..." " K... would you relax?" " Hey." "Dude, come on." "You don't have to go into the basement." "I'll turn off my light, and I'll do my homework in the kitchen." "That's a very nice offer." "Kevin, do you hear what your brother's saying?" "Yeah, I heard him." " Hi, Kevin!" " Ashley." "That baby teething?" " You know it." " All right." "Ni hao, Mr. Hwa." "Keep working on that core." " Hey." " What's up?" "Morning, gentlemen." " Hey." " Good morning." "Look at this, I got six miles." " Good for you, buddy." " Yup." "I did eight." " Is William still asleep?" " Yeah." "I feel like yesterday's chemo took a lot out of him." "Morning hugs!" " Give me my morning hug." " No, gross!" "Daddy, you're all sweaty." "All right, come on girls, backpacks, lunches, car." "Let's go." "I'll be right out." "Have a great day, beautifuls." " Daddy loves you." " Bye, Dad, love you." "Bye, kiddos." "Hey, Kevin." "Did you see a yellow legal pad in my office?" "You mean my bedroom?" "Do I though?" "All right, I am gonna grab a shower." " Meet you at the office before dinner." " Yeah." "Look, he and I are having dinner tonight, so you have a Kevin-free evening." "Just the two of you?" " Alone?" " No, we're meeting our mother." "Okay." "Why?" "No, I just couldn't imagine you and Kevin hanging out." "What do you..." "Well, the guy lives in our house, Beth, we hang out all the time." "Yeah, but you guys are never in the same room alone together." "We just went for a run together." "Together?" "Really?" "So, what this mean, "Really?"" "It didn't end well for Cain and Abel, baby, that's all I'm saying." "Well, we're not Cain and Abel." "Well, they were much less repressed." "But if we were Cain and Abel I'd be Cain, right?" "'Cause he's the brother who won?" "All right." " I love you." " Love you." "That was your fastest run yet." "Damn right it was." "Damn right." " I should pee." " You just peed." " Every ounce counts." " That's true." "And I'm crushing this weigh-in." "Get it!" "All right, Kate, are you ready?" "I am." "All right." "Let's do this." " Will you hold this for me?" " Yeah." "All right." "Congratulations, lady." "You are down a pound and a quarter." "A pound?" "Yeah, and a... and a quarter." "And a quarter." "Okay, I kill myself for weeks, and I'm down a pound?" " And a quarter." " Right." "Yeah." "It's working, all right?" "You got to keep going, though." "This is the tough part, but you got this." "Yeah." "Good job." "Down." "Down is great." "Thanks." "Nice work, nice work." " All right." " All right, Toby, you ready?" " Yup." " All right." "Okay." "Wow." " You lost eight more pounds, mister." " Yeah." " All right." " You know what that means?" "Hey, guys, guess who just met their month goal?" "This guy!" "Nice." "Hey, yeah, Toby, do you mind if we take a victory pic?" " No, no, that's not necessary." " No, of course it is." " No, it's no biggie." " You hit your goal." " It's no biggie." " No." "You are no biggie... anymore." " Yeah." " I'm proud of you, Toby." "Go, give 'em what they want." "Okay, all right." "I'll do the..." "I'll do the victory photo." "Yes, let's do it." "All right, we're doing it." "All right, guys, let's get in here." " Victory photo." " Come on, circle it up." "All right, one, two, three." " Cheese!" " Cheese!" "Super cute." "Another one." "Smile!" "Yes!" "Beautiful!" "I want to make a big push on rising temp futures." "Some of our clients don't currently believe in science, but we'll have 'em watch an Al Gore documentary once the cash starts rolling in." "Am I right, people?" "Come on, guys, nothing?" "That was..." "Is that the Manny?" "Yup." "That's the Manny." " I'm early!" " Right." "I'll be right there." "You guys look sharp." "I'll meet you in the..." "meet you in the office." "Okay." "Cool." "Just chill out in your office?" "Yeah." "That is the Manny." "It is." "Sounds good." " Really?" " Yeah." "I don't remember the last time I was this nervous." "It's just rehearsal, right?" "Yeah, but it's my first rehearsal in ten years." "You're gonna do great, babe." "Hey, what are you planning on wearing to the boy's game tonight?" "Because I know we usually wear Kevin's colors, but now that Randall's playing for another school..." "The game." "Crap." "Um, I'm meeting Bob Parrish tonight to close the Doylestown deal." " Doylestown?" " Yeah." "Really?" "So you got it?" "I-I told you last week." "Well, I'm sure I would have remembered if you said that." " I know that I did." " Okay, well, is there any way that you can move the meeting because that coach is coming to scout Kevin?" "It's a really big game for him." "It's a big day for me, too, and a big day for you." "And a big day for Kevin, so..." "I'll see what I can do." " Okay." " Okay." " Jack?" " Yeah." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm all over the place." " Have a good day." " Have fun." "Thanks." "Yeah." " No, of course." " Hey." "I totally understand." "We can do dinner another time." "That was Mom?" "She's not coming?" "What'd she say?" "Yeah." "Well, tell Miguel I hope he feels better soon." "Let me talk to her." "Is Miguel sick?" " Let me just talk to her real quick." " Yeah, I'll tell Kevin." "Just give me the phone." " Just put her on speaker." " We can reschedule." "Just let me talk to her before you go." "Love you, too." "Bye." "Before she..." "Let me talk to her for..." "It's Miguel's gout." "Really?" "I didn't know they made gout anymore." "Yeah." " So she's not coming then?" " No." "Not coming." "Okay." " It's the two of us." " Yes." "Yeah." "I mean, if you got work to do though, I..." " we don't have to go." " No!" " I'm, I'm okay." " You're all right?" " Yeah." " If you've got lines to learn" " or something, then we can..." " I'm good." "I'm up to speed, so..." "You and me." "You and I." "Hey, girls, wash up and come down." "So, Kevin and Randall are out tonight." "It'll just be you and us ladies." "Nothing for me, thanks." "You know, my dad had cancer." "Lung." "I didn't want to say anything 'cause, you know, it wasn't exactly a happy ending for him." "Endings rarely are." "Weed helped." "With the appetite, you know?" "But..." "I just figured with your history," "I didn't want to bring that up because of..." "No..." "Marijuana doesn't have the same kind of trigger." "Even my doctor said." "Can't have you going out in the night scoring drugs on my account." "What... what if I was to tell you I had a little stash?" "Then I'd say, woman, you surprise me." "And I'm not easily surprised." "How about I feed the girls, right?" "Get their asses in bed, and bake us up some special brownies." " I like that plan." " You like that?" "Yeah." "Right." "Hey!" "How are you?" "What do you think?" "This place is great, right?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "The last time I was here, I bro'ed out with Mario Lopez." "I don't know who that is." "Okay." "My God." "We love you." "Yeah?" "All right, well, cool." "Let's...do a selfie." " Give it to me, I'll take it." " No, no, it's a selfie." " It's a thing." " Right." "Got it." "That's gonna turn out great." " Thank you." " I'm suddenly getting" " why we came here." " What'd you say?" "I said I'm su..." " It's a great place!" " Yeah!" "You're..." "You got to walk around." "Yeah, yeah!" "Big table." "He's never been here." " There he is!" " Hey!" "Hey, everybody." "Hey, guys." "All right." "So, he's got a piece of egg salad sandwich dangling from his mustache, riding me about how" " I don't take my job seriously." " Yeah." "Eventually, I just had to walk out while he was talking." "Jack." "I forgot to kiss Rebecca good-bye this morning." "First time in 15 years." " Knock, knock." " Hey, Heather." "Sabatino's?" "Best in the city." "Please, I can make a better meatball sub than that, blindfolded." "Is that an offer?" " I need you to sign off on these." " Okay." "Do you have a..." " Here you go." " Thanks." "Thanks, Jack." "Here..." " There you go." " And... you missed one." "What would I do without you?" "There you go." " Thank you." " Okay." "What?" " I was playing..." " Are you..." "So..." "Took your pen." "Thanks." "Your wife should've got that." "Thank you." "Just..." "Hi." "I'm so sorry I'm late." "Hey, no, you're not late." "Wow." "Wow." "Geez." "My goodness!" "My God." "It's been too long." "Guys, this is..." " Rebecca Malone." " Um... it's Pearson now." " Right." " But, hi, hi, Rebecca." " Hi, nice to meet you." " Hi." "Thank you so much for thinking of me for this." "It really..." " it means a lot." " Are you kidding?" "Our manager decided we needed a female vocalist and I told him it's..." "it's got to be the girl" " I used to play the keys for." " Well, I guess you forgot this girl you used to play keys for" " got old." " Not from where I'm standing." " Really?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "Hey, what do you..." "you want to jump in?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I'm ready." "Okay." "One, two, one, two, three." "Hey, you've reached Toby, I can't take your call right now 'cause I'm out saving the world from evil, or it's Tuesday, and I'm bowling." "Toby out." "Hey, it's me." "Again." "I just... wanted to apologize for ducking out of the meeting." "Again." "Well, not like I've ducked out of previous meetings, I'm..." "Please call me." " Hi." " Hi." "Wow, this is..." " not expected." " I know you're mad at me, and I get it." "I should have handled myself better." "No, no, no." "No, it's fine, it's fine." "I literally just saw that you called." "I've just, I've..." "I've been busy," " is all." " Okay." " Good." " Yeah." "Can I come in?" "...yep." "Yeah." "Come on in." "...it's the maid's day off." " You binged?" " No!" "What?" "This is no big deal." "I just, I hit a goal and I celebrated by eating some food that I actually like the taste of." "You know, I don't..." "I don't have an eating problem." "Yeah." "Well, you didn't have a problem eating all this food." " All right, that's fair." " Listen, Toby." "We can just get back on our program," " like, right now." " Here's the thing." "Depriving myself, ...makes me absolutely nuts." "So, I think I'm gonna need to loosen the reins a little bit." "What does that mean, loosen the reins?" "That means..." "I'm done dieting, Kate." "But I still support you 100%." "Um... how?" "Like, we were supposed to do this together?" "Or like, I agreed to go out with you because you were gonna lose the weight" " for me." "And..." " and I did." "I lost some of the weight." "And if" "I gain it back, I will lose it again." "All right?" "You are not alone in this." "When we are together," "I will eat the way that you eat." "I swear." "I swear on this bag of Cool Ranch... which is... way more disgusting than I remembered, by the way." "I just don't know how this is gonna work." "Then I'll show you." "All right?" "Tonight." "We'll go to dinner." "We will eat sensibly?" "We will talk as always." "We will laugh as always, all right?" "We'll still be us, I promise." "Okay?" " Hey." " Hey, congrats." "Heard you got your own room." "Yeah." "What's up with you?" " Nothing." " Randall." "Why does he hate me so much?" "Kevin doesn't hate you." "You guys are just so intense with each other, you know?" "Try lightening things up a little." "Joke around with him more." "You know Mom is gonna kill you if she sees you putting on all that makeup, right?" "Pop-Tarts and Yoo-Hoo." "Breakfast of champions." " What do you want?" " I just came to see your dungeon." " I mean, your digs." " I think it's cool." "Yeah... totally." "In a couple days you won't notice that funky mildew, And the asbestos." "I'd give it at least a year till it's imbedded in your lungs." "Randall, can you please just get out of here, man?" "Look, I came down here to get away from you." " Dude, I was just joking." " Are you deaf?" "I said get out." "Get a life." "You feeling anything yet?" "... was I supposed to eat a quarter of the brownie, or a quarter of the pan?" "Yes, definitely." "What?" "What's so funny?" " That's not the answer." " It's not..." "You did it right." "You ate it." "Shh, don't laugh so loud." "I don't want to wake up the girls, okay?" "." "I knew I smelled chocolate." "Why are you guys eating brownies in the basement?" " Can I have one?" " No." "These are adult brownies." "These are work brownies." "Shut up." "Tomorrow, I'm gonna make you some kid's brownies, okay?" "Okay." "All right." "Go ahead back upstairs." "Go to bed." "And be gentle getting back in that bed." "I don't want you" " to wake up your sister, okay?" " All right." " Okay." " Good night." " Good night." " Night." " You..." " Was she walking or was she floating?" "I feel bad they have to crowd themselves on my account." "I know Annie must be wanting her room back." "You're not the one who's cramping anybody's style in this house." "Okay." "My office used to be my haven." "Now, it's Kevin's hamper." "Yes." "I wish he would leave." "Compliments of the owner." "Thank you very much, appreciate that." "See?" "Don't I get the hookup or what?" "I haven't done so bad for myself, right?" "You're the mayor of free shrimp." "All right, so, how's the play going?" "The play." " It's good." "Ha!" " See you still" " working it, Pearson." " Hey!" "Donny frickin' Watson." "What's up, man, how you doing?" " I'm good, I'm good." " Yeah?" "Man, I can't stay." "I got to take my girl to see Cats." "She even played Grizabella in high school." "It's a whole thing but... let's connect soon, yeah?" "All right, yeah, yeah, yeah," "I'd like that very much." "I'd like that very much." "You're looking good." "Donny Watson." "How you guys know each other?" "Funny." "What, are you serious?" " Yeah." " He... played my best friend on The Manny." "Yeah." "Out of context..." " Yeah." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "I must have missed that episode." "He was a series regular, actually, on the show." "For four years, he was a series regular." "Have you ever seen... my show?" " Of course I have." "Yeah." " Yeah?" "What was my, what was my character's name?" "Don't tell him." "What was my character's name on the show?" "Wow." "Okay." " Kevin." " No, no, man, it's all right." " Just finish the dinner, man." " It's all right, it's all right, it's all right." "Good talk." "And so this, dog just keeps getting reincarnated." "And so, and so, it's like he..." "I think he's a schna... like a schnauzer, like, poodle mix and he's running around town trying to solve crimes, but he keeps getting hit by cars." "Yeah, yeah, thank you." "Thank you." "And did you see what happened here?" "You had chicken." "I had the chicken." "We are in this together." " Right?" " Thank you." "Would you two like to see our dessert tray?" "No, thank you." "Walk away, fine sir." "Hey, wait." "He'll have a look." "I will?" "Dude, I know you want it, and if you don't have it here, you're gonna go home, you're gonna stuff your face and you're gonna lie to me about it." "You'll have a full-on food mistress and I..." "But I will never love her the way that I love you." "This is not a joke." " I'm being serious." " Okay, all right, okay, okay." "How are we gonna make this relationship work if we're gonna keep things from each other?" "I'll just have to handle it." " All right." " Okay." " Hold both at the same time." " You made it." " Hi." " Hi." "What's with, all the beige?" "I'm trying to remain neutral." " Yeah?" " Okay." "Yeah." "Wait, where's Kevin?" "There he is." " Twelve." " Twelve." "Down, set, hut." "Down, set, hut." "Thank you." "We'd like to welcome tonight's visiting team, Hanes Academy." "Now, let's go, McKinley Wildcats." "Rehearsal?" "Rehearsal was good?" " Jack, honestly, it was amazing." " Yeah?" "Yeah, just being on stage again, and singing and I missed it." "Yeah." "The smell of the microphone alone was..." " The microphone has a smell?" " Hey, Jack!" "Hey." "Big game for Kevin?" "Yeah, and with your Bobby opening up holes in the backfield," "Kevin's not gonna have to do a whole lot." "All right, folks, McKinley Middle School has possession with visiting Hanes Academy on defense." "You can finish telling me the rest later." "Yeah." "No, no, send him down there." "Set... hut!" "Go!" "Go, go, go!" "Blue 42!" "Blue 42!" "Get down, set!" "Hut!" " Go, go, go, go!" " Go, go, go, go, go!" "What are they doing?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "All right, all right." "Hey!" "Boys!" "Hey." "Hey, come on, Kev." "Would you stop?" "No, it's all right, Randall." "I'm just gonna go back to my hotel." " Leave me alone, all right?" " Look, hey, I'll give you a thousand dollars right now if you can tell me what I do for a living." "You're a Wall Street guy, right?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Okay, but what does that mean?" "You know, you do the-the..." "the..." "like," "The Big Short." "You do the Ponzu schemes." "Dude, it's ponzu sauce, Ponzi schemes." "Whatever." "Look, the point is, you don't know what I do, and that's fine." "What difference does it make if I didn't watch The Manny?" "You hated the show!" "You were so ashamed of it, you quit." "Not at first." "At first, I was proud of that show, Randall." "And I invited every single one of you to tapings." "Kate's the only one that came." "Well, she had to." "You were paying her." "Come on, dude." "That was funny." "What are you... ?" "Now that... that is funny." "That's great." "Replaced by another black man." "What the hell did you just say?" "No. "Replaced by another black man."" " Hey, you tell me what that means." " Don't worry about it, Randall." "No." "Please, Kevin." "Let's hear it, right?" "What are you harboring?" "'Cause God knows" "I would really love to hear this." "You always got special treatment." "Because I'm black?" "No, because you're black and you're adopted." "Yeah, hit the jackpot with that combination." " Couldn't have had it any easier." " In our house, you did." " With our mother, you did." " Right." " Okay, here we go." " Why can't you just admit it, man?" "Admit what?" "Just admit that you were more important to her, and that she wanted to make sure that you felt special every single minute" " of every single day so that" " Yeah." "You wouldn't feel like the odd man out." "Well, gee, Kevin, I wonder why she was worried about me feeling that way?" "What the hell does that mean?" " Just go back to your hotel." " No." "No, hold on." "Randall, hold..." "No." "What does that mean?" "It means you treated me like a dog." "And just like a dog, I kept coming back again and again, just hoping for a scrap from you, like a crumb of affection or kindness or respect." " Respect?" "You wanted my respect?" " Yeah." "Yeah, okay." "No, you wanted to show me up, Randall." "Which is what you did every single chance you got." " No, I did not." " You showed me up!" "I'm done with this conversation." " Done with this conversation?" " In any other family," " I would have been the star!" " Yeah, you know what, bro?" "You're no star." "That is a star." "Get your hands off me." "Get your hands off me." "You don't push my body." "Don't touch me, okay?" "Don't touch me." "What is wrong with you?" "What is wrong with you?" "My God." "Don't put your hands on my body." "Is that... is that the Manny?" "My face..." "Kevin?" "Hey, Kevin?" " You're all right, man?" " Hey, Seth." "Do you... want me to call someone?" "It's..." "No." "This is my brother." "Hey, man." "Hey, Seth Meyers." " Okay." " Yeah." " No." "You know what?" "Let's go." " Yeah." "I'm still black." "Come on, let's go." "Yup, yup." "Let's get the hell out of here." "I'm sorry I couldn't help more with moving the heavy stuff." "That's okay." "Did you know I grew up in a house with 14 people in it?" "My parents, four siblings, aunts, cousins, three bedrooms." " How many bathrooms?" " One." "My gosh, when I was young, all I did was dream of living alone." "Like some hippie life, you know?" "Like in some artist loft downtown." "No husband." "Definitely no kids." "So what happened?" "I met your damn son." "One look in his eyes, he ruined everything." "Me, I pretty much always lived alone." "Now I have Randall." "And you." "And the girls to fall asleep to, wake up to every day." "I hope that's a good thing." "Mostly." "Makes me feel sad to die." "I love it when there's a new moon like this." ""Splendid against the night, the searchlights  the tracers' arcs, and the red flare of bombs."" "How do you know that?" "It's in this book of poems that Randall's had since he was a baby." "Yeah, that's right." "The one I gave Rebecca back in the day." "What?" "What'd you say?" "I'm feeling a little tired," "Beth, I think I'll..." "Hell no, you ain't cancering your way out of this one, old man." "You better talk." "Get your asses in the car." "We're gonna talk big-time at home." "You're right." "Mom did favor me." "She did." "Showered me with attention." "Took my side more often than not." "And I ate every bit of her love up." "Ate it up like Pac-Man." "You know why?" "Because the one person I wanted it from the mo..." "You know, back there with those people, it's the first time in 36 years you've said the words, "He's my brother."" " Come on, Randall, that can't be..." " Claiming me." "My brother." "Well, then, that really sucks." "Rebecca has known who you were for Randall's entire life?" "Yes, that's right." "And she never told him?" " I don't know, Beth." " Lied to him, when he asked." "I got to tell him." "No." "No, no, no, no." "Beth, you can't do that." ""Beth you can't do that"?" "This is my husband." "This is my marriage." "I know, but the closeness he has with his mom, you tell him this, it'll destroy it." "Whoa, someone's high." "Good night." " Night." " Good night." "You and my wife got high together?" "That's pretty cool." "Good for you." "All right, I'm gonna head up to bed." "Not that way; she moved you." "What do you mean, she moved me?" "She moved me where?" "Back in the basement." " No, we'll move you back upstairs." " No, come... hey, listen." "I should be getting out of your hair soon anyway." "You know, until then, this is actually a pretty sweet set-up." "There's no bathroom down here." "I can walk a flight of stairs." "Well..." " It's been a day." " Yeah." "Night." "Night." "Hey, Randall." "Do you want to..." "Do you want to hang out down here for little bit with me?" "We could, turn the TV on or something." "For a little while." " Yeah?" " Why not?" " Cool." " Yeah." "Rebecca, this is Beth." "Yeah, um, so William just told me something really interesting about the two of you." "So, yeah, I'm gonna need you to call me back, okay?" "Right away." "As soon as you get this message." "Okay, bye." "You hate me, don't you?" "I told you to heat the bottle, not hit the bottle." "You want me to open up that big bottle of wine you've been saving for ten years." "Manny say, "What?" "!"" "Hey, you never finished telling me about your rehearsal." "It's okay;" "I'm tired." "We can talk about it tomorrow." "Okay." "Hey, can you turn the light out, babe?" "I just realized we didn't eat dinner tonight, Jack." "I had a pretty big lunch;" "I'm good." "Well, I'm gonna go make myself something then." "The light, babe." "Mom!" "What?" "I can't turn the washing machine off." "I think it's possessed." "Kev, you know you can always go back to your old room with Randall." "My God." "This is the best washing machine in the whole world." "I'm actually," "I'm turned on by this washing machine." "Well, I can show you turned on." "Jack, help." "It's leaking everywhere!" "Kids, get the buckets." "Okay." "This is bail out!" "Okay, kids." "Washing machine is officially cooked, baby." "Nah, she's still got some life in her." "At least six more cycles." "Jack, we have three infants." "We're going to be doing six cycles by noon." "We can do it." "You wash and I'll fold." "Baby, one day, I'm gonna buy you the best washing machine in the world."