"Subs created by:" "David Coleman." "Our young Prince Ho-tep died at the tender age of 18 but, the ancient Egyptians viewed death as merely a journey into another world." "Um, what's with the ancient supper ware?" "Oh, you know the expression, "you can't take it with you"?" " Yeah." " Yeah, well, uh, they didn't." "Yup." "Anyways, uh, this gift-wrapped fellow here was, uh, arranged to marry a Pharaoh's daughter." "But when he refused because he wasn't in love with her, the Pharaoh had him executed." "I bet she had one killer uni brow." "Ah!" "According to these hieroglyphics, he vowed to never enter the afterlife without his true love." "Ewe." "It's either that or these are cleaning instructions." "Can I make a mummy for extra credit?" "Ooh, that wouldn't be encouraged." "Yes!" "That was not a no!" "Anyways, guys, that is the end of the tour." "But, uh, you know, feel free to stay around as long as you like." "Or you could leave, because that's okay too." "He actually chose death over a life without love." "That's so romantic." "It probably got less romantic when they bottled up his organs." "And if I'm lucky, one of these jars will have pancreas." "I used all my Grandma's ancient pancreas in a potion." "I have to top it up before she finds out." "Gross." "What was it for?" "Oh, Benny." "You look so good with that beard." "Wizard stuff." "You wouldn't understand." "Cover me!" "Okay, but just make it quick." " You guys are asking for trouble!" " I don't want any part of this." "Benny, maybe she's right." "It is stealing." "So?" "The museum stole it first." "You think they asked raggedy Andy here to raid his tomb?" "Didn't think so." "Trust me, no one will miss this." "Ah, bingo." "Hurry up." "Ugh." "Oh, that's hideous." "She's the girl next door." "Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure." "She's the girl next door." "Just for me." "What you get is what you see." "No more "maybe it's Maybelline"." "She can give you everything you need." "She's the girl next door." "Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure." "She's the girl next door." "Just for me." "What is the big deal?" "We collect weird stuff all the time." "Yeah, when we're fighting monsters." "This time getting groceries." "Oh come on, it's nothing like that." "Okay, so it is." "But it's okay." "Everything worked out fine." "Okay, this is just getting pathetic." "That last one was just a pity scream." "What do we do?" "Here, mummy, mummy." "This is what you want, isn't it?" "Good mummy." "Go get it." "Yeah." "Problem solved." "Benny, we have to get this thing back to the museum." "Uh, Sarah could fly him back in seconds!" "Sounds fun!" "Or I could go to class and let you clean up your own mess." "What?" "There's a monster on the loose and you're not gonna help us?" "Monster?" "Ooh, the mummy's attacking me." "I'm so scared." "Have fun." "Great." "What do we do now?" "I don't know." "Get its pancreas back to the museum and let the mummy follow it back?" "Right." "That should work." "Actually." " Hey, Ethan." " Hey." "Heard you were having mummy issues." "Hang in there." "Okay, for the record, I would've never let Benny play organ donor if I'd have known the mummy was cursed." "The words "mummy" and "curse" always go together!" "Have you ever heard of "mummy parade"?" "Or "mummy rodeo"?" "That's true." "Though mummy rodeo does sound pretty fun." "But we've got it all under control." "Don't worry." "Benny, what's up?" "The mummy is missing!" "I've gotta take this call." "What?" "Maybe he just.." "You know, limped home." "No, but it also ate my Grandma's freaky bio-leftovers!" "So, it has a weird diet." "Who cares?" "Well, I checked to see if any of them could regenerate a mummy's body.." " Could one of them do that?" " Try 10!" "Dude, we have a fully fleshed-out mummy walking around!" "Where would it go?" "What am I, the mummy whisperer?" "Pardon me, I came from the museum." "I wanted to return this to you." "Oh, thanks!" "How did you know it was mine?" "The gems." "They sparkle like your eyes." "I think I just found him." " Are you sure?" " Yeah, yeah, it's him." "How can you tell?" "Because he's got the mummy version of a toilet paper tail." "I can't believe he stole my clothes!" "Who does that?" "You stole the guy's pancreas!" "It's not like he was using it!" "Who's the new guy?" "Cute." "Oh, I guess, if you're into older, charming, handsome guys." "Sarah is." "She's flirting up a storm." "Flirting?" "You think?" "Wow, guys are so oblivious." "Oh, maybe he's just, you know, helping her with her Egypt homework." "Dude, he's the mummy." "I.." "We kind of gave him a makeover." "Really?" "Can you make over another one for me?" "I don't see why not." "Guys, we have to warn Sarah." "This guy is clearly too old for her." "Oh, come on." "What's the rush?" "She's finally found a guy that she likes." "If you tell her now, she'll just pull a Sarah and get all freaked out." "No!" "I have to put a stop to this!" "For Sarah's safety, guys." "No.." "Hey, Sarah." "Who's your friend?" "My name is Hottie Ho-tep." "It's Egyptian." "I call him "hottie" for short." "He's so romantic." "She is the light of a morning sun that wakes my heart to life." "Oh, come on!" "I mean, over here.." "Because we need to talk." "Okay, captain awkward." "What's up?" "Well.." "This better not be about your stupid mummy again!" "I guess it can wait." "Guy's alive one day and already he's getting more ladies than you." "This is by far the worst monster we have ever faced." "We have been summoned back to Earth!" "Yes." "Our tomb is a lot more spacious than I recall." "Hottie Ho-tep has escaped!" "We must capture him at once!" "And punish those who dared free him." "Me?" "I didn't steal the mummy!" "I didn't!" "It wasn't me, I swear!" "Relax, Rory." "It's just a locker search." "We're only doing it because we were at the museum today." "That and you have soiled rags hanging from your locker." "Oh, these?" "I brought them from home." "Let's see." "Oh, I have a squirrel.." "A pigeon.." "And a cat!" "Oops!" "This one's not ready yet." "Well, Rory, you get an "A" for effort, but an "F" for freaking me out." "Yeah, it must get boring working in a museum all day." "Yes." "But I would gladly cross the world over again to be next to you." "Can I see you tonight?" "Okay!" "Oh, but I might have to babysit." "Sit?" "On a baby?" "That's most strange." "But no matter, if we may do it together." "You and I shall outshine the stars." " Oh!" " Hey, guys." " Hey!" " Hottie is so sweet!" "We're really hitting it off." "Really?" "I didn't notice." "I'm just afraid to tell him I'm a Vampire." "I mean, who wants to date some freaky undead creature?" "You know, I think he'd be cool with that." " Really?" " Yeah." "Thanks, Benny!" "Okay, we need to get Prince pyramid back to the museum before Sarah gets too attached." "Hmm?" "For her sake!" "You mean for your sake." " You gonna help me or not?" " Okay, okay." "I found this mummifying/de-mummifying spell, but I have to test it." "For all I know, it could turn him into someone's Mom." "Where are we going to find another mummy to test it on?" "Check it out!" "Can I mummy or what?" "Hey, Rory." "Careful, you'll hurt him!" "Okay, I'm no veterinarian, but I'm pretty sure he can't feel a thing." "Nuh-uh!" "A mummy's spirit, or "Ka," is connected to its body." "Mr. Kitty feels all." "What?" "I did my homework." "Watch out." "This Kitty Ka is about to make a comeback." "Osiris.." "Mortus.." "Resurrecti!" "Mr. Kitty, you're back!" "Now time for repackaging." "I forgot." "Alive kitties can do that." "Hey!" "What's he doing here?" "Your Mom said I could bring him." "What are you guys doing?" "We're chasing Mr. Kitty!" "And, you know, other cool stuff." "Sarah, can I talk to you for a sec?" "I don't think you should be hanging with hottie so much." "What?" "Are you like my guidance counselor or something?" "Just trust me." "You never know when his past might catch up to him." "We have found you at last!" "You may have vowed never to join the underworld without a bride, but you may not join the living." "You sure you got the right house?" "The eternal guards of the Pharaoh." "They have sworn to ensure that I serve my sentence for eternity." "Otherwise, what is the point in executing someone?" "It's time for a new line of work." "Fear not, Sarah." "I shall deal with these vermin." "The Crook of Osiris!" "I sensed it might come in useful in my travel." "A'nen spi!" "Nice moves." "I was totally about to do all that!" "Our victory is short-lived." "But the guards, they'll live again." "I've merely returned them to their tombs." "But they will not rest until I've returned home." "So, you're the mummy?" "We tried to tell you." "You knew about this?" "I wanted to tell you, but.." "I feared my being an undead creature might frighten you away." "I see now you have secrets of your own." "No, don't." "They're beautiful." "What's wrong?" "Are you allergic or something?" "Cats are the guardians of the afterlife!" "This one speaks to me." "Is it nap time?" "In a manner of speaking." "My apologies for bringing this trouble to your house." " I must go." " Wait, hottie!" "Where are you going?" "I have angered the Gods by remaining on Earth." "It is time I departed this world for the next." "But we were just getting to know each other." "Sarah, these.." "Large children you sit on.." "May have stolen my pancreas.." "But you have stolen my heart." "Might we meet again, so that we may seal our fate in the stars?" "Of course." "Here, Mr. Kitty-Kitty-Kitty!" "Hey, guys." "Did I miss anything?" "Can you believe that guy?" ""Seal our fate in the stars"." "Really?" "I know, right?" "Sarah totally ate it up!" "Yeah, well, I bet he stole it from some corny, old Egyptian pop song or something!" "Oh, dude let it go, Look.." "Rotting Romeo's going back to ragsville, and for once we don't have to do anything." "Yeah, you're right." "Well, I promise, from now on, he's out of my mind." "Oh, thank goodness!" " Ha, I got him!" " Oh, for goodness' sake!" "What?" "That "fate in the stars" line!" "He did steal it!" " I'm so telling Sarah." " Ancient Egypt had pop songs?" "Well, not quite." "It's from some ritual." "Uh-oh." "Looks like it means he's taking Sarah to the underworld!" "That club on Main Street?" "Lame." "The other underworld." "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" "What did I do?" "Ah!" "Oh, yeah, that." "What did you do with all the pancreas?" "How am I supposed to make my special lasagna?" "I was just.." "Wait, lasagna?" " Speak!" " Okay, okay!" "This all started when I wanted to grow a beard.." "And now Sarah's dating a mummy." "Poor girl." "I dated a mummy once." "One minute they're romancing, and the next minute they're dragging you down to the underworld." "Great kisser, though." "Ewe, Grandma!" "Anyway, Sarah can't really die, so she's in the clear." "Dying's not the problem." "He'll offer her his sacred tea, and next minute she'll be sucked down a portal into the underworld." "Good to know." "Hey, dude." "We have a problem!" "You look beautiful." "You're not too bad yourself." "Not a lot of guys can pull off eyeliner." "It was more fashionable a few millennia ago." "Speaking of millennia, I was wondering." "How much further do you see this relationship going?" "Sarah, I just wanted my last drink on Earth to be with you." "Oh, okay, good." "Then Anubis, the God of death, will pull our souls into the underworld." "Yeah, about that." "I think we're moving a little too fast." "Make sure we're not disturbed." " Thanks for the lift, Rory." " Oh, I think I'm gonna be Rory-sick." "Halt!" "None may disrupt Hottie Ho-tep's journey to the underworld!" "Especially Sarah's male friend who cannot take a hint!" " What?" " Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "First you're trying to take him out, and now you're chaperoning his date?" "What gives?" "It is our duty to make sure he returns to the underworld." "He is doing so." "I'll handle this." "Mr. Kitty!" "Rory!" "Now's not the time!" "There you are, Mr. Kitty!" "I'm just not ready for this type of commitment!" "And the whole after world thing is a little freaky." "Sarah, you have nothing to fear." "If your heart is free of sin, you will get into paradise." "Yeah, this isn't gonna work out." "Very well." "I have no choice but to accept your decision." "Ow!" "Mr. Kitty!" "Stop it!" "Come on!" " You got a spell for this?" " Like what?" " I don't know, do something!" " How about running?" "Running is something!" "Wait!" "What is that?" "It is as though two stars have fallen from the heavens and are.." "Well.." "We showed them." "Now it is your turn." "Please." "If you care for me, you will drink." "Sarah, no!" "Seriously, guys?" "Sarah, if you drink that death juice, it's a one-way ticket to the underworld!" "Hottie, is that true?" "My Sarah." "Earthly life is but a fleeting dream." "A new life awaits." "Save it for the afterlife." "We're done." "I will not let you just walk away from destiny." "Hottie, you're cute." "But you're not gonna stay cute if you don't let me go!" "Ha!" "Time to man up!" "Ewe, bugs!" "Bugs, bugs!" "Sarah, we all have to go.." "Eventually." "Anubis-resut!" "Why do all hot guys have to be such jerks?" "Headgear!" "This yours?" "No, don't.." "Cool, it's like a voodoo doll in a jar!" "Sarah, please!" "You're breaking my heart!" "I'd say "see you in the next life,"" "but that's not gonna happen." "That was a harsh breakup." "Hey, Rory." "Is that your cat?" "Yeah." "He's not as playful as he used to be." "But I decided it was for the best after he kept clawing my eyes out." "Well, if it makes you feel any better, you deserve an "A" in that class." "Really?" "Thanks!" "Let's go catch some birds, Mr. Cat." "Hey, thanks for helping me with my boy troubles." "I can't even believe I almost fell for that guy." "I can't really blame you." "That guy was a romantic superstar." " So I'm told." " If anyone's the romantic, it's you." "I guess I have my moments." "As for me, I'm done with romance for a long time." "It's way better to have friends." "Yeah, yeah, I couldn't agree more." "See ya." "Guess I don't need this poem about how your eyes shine like light-sabers." "She's the girl next door." "Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure." "She's the girl next door." "Just for me."