"[SILENCE]" "Street justice, punk!" "[VIDEO GAME POOF]" "[♪ THE CUTS: "HOLD THE SUN"...]" "[SETH NARRATING] I met my brother Ross when I was three years old." "Growing up, Ross was the cute one." "The athletic one." "The popular one." "But he was also my best friend from the day I met him." "And from the day my dad married his mom," "I never thought of him as anything but my brother." "And I loved him." "When he was diagnosed with brain cancer," "I decided to document his survival." "This should've been the end of the movie." "Instead, it's the beginning." "[MACHINE WHIRRING] ♪ I want to hold the sun." "[SETH] So this is Ross Patterson." "He just received a penis reduction." "I gave three inches to a needy kid in China." "And, uh..." "And I'm reading Highlights Magazine." "who always circles shit in fucking Highlights?" "I want to find the rake in the cloud," "I want to find the baseball bat inside the tree nut." "[CHUCKLES] You loved Highlights when we were kids." "[DR. FOXMAN] Hey, Ross?" " Oh, doctor's here." "Sorry to keep you waiting." "Brings a therapy dog to a patient consultation, it's a pretty good bet that he's not delivering good news." "[ROSS] Hi." " Um... yeah." "W-would you mind putting that thing away and shutting it off?" "Um, because of the HIPAA Laws, I have to have you document" "So, if it's all right with you, it's fine with me." "This has been going on for two and half years," "I think we're fine." "We got the results back from your PET scan." "And, um..." "...here's where we stand." "Unfortunately, the tumor is growing more rapidly than we anticipated." "As a matter of fact, we're at levels we haven't seen in over a year." "Wait, s... so what are you saying?" "[DR. FOXMAN] Uh..." "We're not able to control this with chemotherapy." "In addition, it's metastasized." "We found traces of the cancer in your bone marrow, in your liver, and your pancreas." "Uh, considering your heart condition," "I think more chemotherapy is way too risky." "We do have other options." "What are my other options?" "Um, o-okay, a-all right, y-you need to understand that this is not a cure, but I think we can significantly stop the aggression of this tumor with radiation therapy." "Yeah, I'm-I'm not going back to chemo, all right?" "I-I-I'm not I-I-I'm not getting..." "[SETH]..." "It's not it's not chemo, it's radiation." "I'm not getting radiation again." "I-I'm not, I-I'm not gonna lie here in a fucking bed," "I'm not gonna shave my head again," "I'm not gonna be pricked with needles so you guys can you don't fucking understand!" "You have a choice, and you may not want to do this, but I think that it would significantly shrink the damage that's being done by..." "[SETH] Okay, when you say significantly shrink," "Like in terms of a timeline, what are you saying, like how much..." "What is this gonna give him?" "What's...?" "At the rate of progression now without immediate intervention, we're looking at one to three months." "However, with radiation and drug therapy, we can probably extend that to a period of six months to a year." "[SETH] Six months to a year, man." "Yeah, I'm not, I'm not going through it." "[DR. FOXMAN] Look, I-I understand..." "I'm not going through six months of fucking radiation therapy again, all right?" "I'm not going through it." "You... need to give this some time." "To think about the choice you want to make and think about what you want to do with the time you have left." "[ROSS SIGHS]" " I'm sorry." "No, it's..." "I got to rub a therapy dog, or else I'd be a mess right now." "Now, I have to take Beans back." "I promised that I would take him to the children's ward with me." "Are you... are you kidding?" "You just gave me the worst news of my life." "So I-I'm gonna die and you want the dog?" "Fuck you!" "[SETH, NARRATING] Ross kept the therapy dog." "[DOG WHIMPERING]" "[♪ INSTRUMENTALS:" "HOOKWORMS "AWAY/TOWARDS"]" "[SETH, NARRATING] At the time I was working as a wedding videographer." "Riding the bubble of California's gay wedding boom." "But on the weekends," "Ross and my super-naturally- photogenic fiancee, Lauren, helped me indulge in my artistic ambitions." "Shooting Tarantino-esque vignettes full of violence and subtle references to the masterpieces of cinema." "Rosebud." "[SETH, NARRATING] But when Ross got sick," "[MONITOR BEEPING] I realized I had the chance to make something personal." "Something meaningful and true." "This is what that turned into." "[ROCK MUSIC ♪...]" "[WHOOSH, CA-CHING SOUND]" "[DIALING] [GIRL MOANING]" "[♪ LOS ENCANTADOS: "GHOSTS"] [SETH] What'd they give you?" "[ROSS] Oxies, perp, valium." " Nice." "Yeah, there's a real silver lining in all this." "You want some?" " No, I shouldn't." "Oh, let's..." "...let's turn this around." "There we go." "Seth, how's it feel?" "Do something interesting because this gonna be for cutaways." "Okay." "[PHONE CHIMES]" "Is your..." "...Is that your phone again?" " Yeah." "Who is it?" " Uh..." "I don't know, it's weird, it's Lauren." ""Hey." "Dinner is almost ready."" "[LAUREN] We need to go food shopping." "[SETH] I know." " What are you filming?" "The Ross Documentary." "We need to talk." "Okay." "Put the camera down." "[SETH] So, what do you wanna do?" "I have 618 dollars in checking." "Fuck." "I don't-maybe I could buy a, uh, skim board." "A new skim board." " I have..." "I have 50k." " Yeah, you..." "I have 50 thousand dollars in my savings account." "You have 50 thousand for your wedding." "Yeah." "So, like, I don't care, not for my wedding." "So, we'll spend it on, fucking amazing adventure." "Lauren will cut off your balls if you spend that wedding money." " She won't cut off my balls!" " Yes, she will!" "No, she'll cut off maybe one ball, one and half He wants to go out with a bang." "He wants to do a road trip across the country with me." "You know, just..." "...wild, crazy times." " Okay." " At the end." "Um, he doesn't have any money." " Mm." " We have 50 thousand dollars." " That's for our wedding." "[SETH] So when are you gonna tell mom and dad?" "I'm not gonna tell mom and dad." "Why not?" "Because they would fly me home and stare at me like I was fucking E.T. for 30 days." "I mean, would you wanna know when your kid is gonna die?" "Are we still gonna have a wedding?" "Yeah!" "Of course we're gonna have a wedding, baby." "The point is, he wants to do this road trip." "And, he wants me to film it." " I'm going with you." "If you're gonna blow all of our savings," "I'm going with you guys." "[SETH] Let's make a list." "[ROSS] That's fine." "I...first thing I would do is fuck a hooker." " You would fuck a hooker?" " I would fuck a hooker." "For how much more interesting that's gonna get?" "You know, it's funny because actually I think that if one of those make-a-wish kids actually said - when the cameras weren't rolling - said" "They would want to fuck a hooker." " They would want..." " ..." "They would not Jenna Jamison to whack them off..." "They would not want to throw footballs with Tim Tebow." "No." "Committed to capturing all of Ross's experiences on camera, and as a life-long consumer of video pornography," "I yearn for the opportunity to shoot what academics in the field termed hot, amateur action." "I'm just gonna wait out here for her." "[ROSS] All right." "[SPANISH MUSIC ♪...]" "Hello." "Hi, are you-you must be Lamborghini." "Yeah!" "I'm Lamborghini." " Hi." " It's, um, Italian." "So, cool." "Um, what's with the video camera?" "Nothing." "I'm sorry, I'm just..." "Yeah, you didn't say anything about videotaping, so... just..." " Sorry." " Yeah." " Totally sorry." " No, no problem." "Um, so it's off?" " Yeah." " Okay." " Yeah." "Well, um, so..." "uh, so is it for you or...?" " What?" " Is it for you or..." "Yeah, do you want to-uh, no, I'm not, I'm not a customer." "It's my-it's-it's someone else." " Um, uh..." " What do I...?" " Yeah, you have to pay up front." " I ha-have the money." "Yeah." " Yeah, it makes sense." "Um." " Otherwise it's 200, you said?" " Uh, three." " 300, okay." "Shit, I'm sorry." " It's okay." "Uh, could we do it ins..." "...could we do it inside?" "[ROSS MOANS] God." "[LAMBORGHINI] What was that?" "[SETH] Bow-chicka-wow-wow." "[ROSS] No." "No, just stop." "Um..." " What is he doing?" "Everything is going to be okay." "[ROSS SCOFFS, SHAKILY EXHALES] You're gonna be fine." " Is it really?" " Yeah." "Yes, yeah." "Everything's gonna be fine." "Everyone's gonna be fine." "It's gonna be okay." " Thanks." "[SNIFFLES] Is your name really Lamborghini?" "[CHUCKLES] Do you think my name's really Lamborghini?" "[CHUCKLES] No." "What is it?" "It's Carly." "Yeah, I was gonna go with Ford Fiesta but" "[ROSS CHUCKLES] I don't know if that was sexy enough." "People really weren't responding to it." "You know, you're actually very funny." "I have my moments." "So I just paid 300 dollars for my brother to cry in the lap of a prostitute." "[SETH] Speed." " Is that on?" "Yeah." "I'm shooting everything now." "I'm not putting the camera down for the rest of his life." "Okay, but I don't have to be in it." " Okay." " Okay?" " Yeah." " Thank you." " What's up?" "[SETH] Nothing." "Lauren's getting ready to go." "So, I thought I'd just wake you up." "How are we... gonna line the streets for a parade for her?" "[SETH CHUCKLES] Fucking time is it?" "Uh." "I don't know, what time is it?" "It's quarter to..." "...nine in the a.m." "I feel like death." "Pun intended. [SETH CHUCKLES]" "There she is." " Good morning." "There she is." "It's fine." "I just, uh..." "lets not give all the quotes in the brochure, let's just... not think about it." " Right." "What's this?" " That is the list." " "Fuck It List."" " Yep." "What's this one that's crossed out?" "Fuck a hooker." "Uh..." "Actually, I changed my mind last night." "[SETH] Did you really?" " Seth?" " What?" " Sorry, Seth." "That's okay." "I was thinking you were gonna empty your balls but you emptied your heart and that was special." "I'm a little bit confused." "But I feel like, we're just gonna look at the list" "[CHUCKLES] Um... "Quit my job."" " Yep." "Which is gonna be, like, piece of cake." "But something I'm really gonna take pride in." "This will be my last tour of Hollywood." "Fuck you, Hollywood Fun Tours!" "I've been in competition with you for years!" "You having a good time today, where are you from?" "Asia?" "I love it there, I [ELONGATES] love it there." "There is a place on Melrose, it's a flip-over place where they only do fronts, if you give an extra 20 dollars." "After this whole shit is over, let's go together." "Ladies and gentlemen, we [CHUCKLES] we have a rare treat today." "That's Courtney Cox's landscaper." "These are the real celebrities, people." " "Go skydiving." [SETH] Yep." "We booked it." " We booked it already." " Wednesday." " I don't know if I can..." " Wednesday afternoon." "I don't know if I could do it." " Then, uh..." " You don't have to do it." "All right." "Um, "see the Grand Canyon."" "Oh, my God, I never been to the Grand Canyon." " Really?" " Uh-huh, never. [STUTTERS]" " I didn't know that." " That's amazing!" "Wait, um, I'm sure it's going to be but why do you keep looking at him as if you're gonna go on the trip with us?" " I told you she was..." " ..." "I thought I was going." "...I told you she was going." "You said she was going skydiving, she's not..." " ..." "No." " ... going on the entire trip." "You know what, if-if we're gonna couple up, then I'm gonna take the call girl." "You can't bring a hooker with us on a Why can't I bring a hooker with us, she's really cool." "Please don't bring a prostitute on this trip." " Why not?" " Because it's just nasty." "[SETH] Baby, he's joking." " No, no..." " ..." "He is?" " ..." "No, Seth, I'm not joking." "If you guys are going together, then I'm going to bring a fucking call girl." " Please don't!" " Why?" "They're just like a porn movie every day." ""Fall in love and get married."" "Okay, no, that one I was kidding about." "Like, obviously..." "I'm not..." "I'm dying in a fucking month!" "Yeah, I'm gonna get married and start a 401k and have some grandkids." "Maybe even settle down, Midwest." "I didn't have any more space to fill on that thing." "[SETH WHISPERS] Baby." " [WHISPERS] What?" "Please, please, be nicer to him." "I am trying, but, ugh!" "A prostitute?" ""yeah, I think it's a good idea."" "It's so annoying." " All rules are off." " All rules are off?" "All rules are off, he's dying." "To put something on the bucket list, it's McGriddles." "If you can grab maybe four of those and some hash browns, it would be awesome." "[LAUREN] They're not-I mean," "I would have to do it after work." "[♪ THE DEBATE TEAM:" ""THE LIGHTS HAVE GONE OUT"]" "[ROSS] So, anyways, Seth is coming, who you met." "His fiancee, Lauren is coming, and the reason why I brought you here is I was wondering if you would want to go too?" "[CARLY] On the road trip?" " Yes." " With you guys?" " With all of us." "And maybe a couple of camera crew guys." "They're gonna shoot a documentary the last three days of my life, whatever." "What's in it for me?" " Uh..." "I don't know, five grand?" " Ten grand." "I pull, like, two grand a week." "You're gonna be taking me away from that." "Look, I'll tell you this." "I'll give you five grand now, and when I die you get my car." " Your car?" " Yes." "What kind of car is it?" "Jesus, it's, uh, 2002 Chevy Tahoe." "It's got a Spanish-language GPS in it." "You're gonna be... that's just you, you're gonna have it." "If..." "I did this, which I'm not saying I'm going to there would have to be rules." "[STAMMERS] Like a hooker handbook?" "[SARCASTIC] Yeah, like a hooker handbook." "You haven't seen Pretty Woman?" "Please." "Tell me you've seen Pretty Woman and don't be an asshole." " I've seen Pretty Woman." " Okay, so you know." "Rule number one:" "No kissing on the lips." "If you want to kiss anywhere else, that's your deal." "And number two:" "I get paid up front." "All right, fine." "If you have rules, I have rules." "[SARCASTIC] Oh, yeah, like what?" "Like... no talking about death or dying or disease or anything like that." "I already know what's in store for me, re-hashing every single day, okay?" "Um, I'm gonna lose my vision, pretend I'm drunk." "I'm going to..." "lose my balance, pretend I'm drunk." "I'm gonna vomit, like a lot." " Pretend you're drunk, okay." " Exactly." "Easy." "For the next four to six weeks or however long it is I have on this Earth, your job is to make me feel as normal as possible." "You in?" " Yeah." "Fuck it." "[CHUCKLES]" "[SETH, NARRATING] Why was I filming our journey?" "Was I trying to preserve every last second of Ross's life?" "Was I pretending that what was happening wasn't real?" "So, your, uh, your girl over there." "Now, what's her name?" " Carly?" "Carly, yeah, is she, uh, is she paid for, right?" " Yeah, uh, what do you mean?" " You know what I mean, man." "A little crew good time fun?" " Oh, Jesus Christ, really?" "Seth, really?" " Who's that?" "That's, uh, that's Dutch." "He's doing, uh, sound for us." " How much does he cost?" " Not very much." "Hey, baby, I want to introduce you to Carly." " I don't want to." " Why not?" "You're gonna have to meet her, we're going to be on a month" "[CHUCKLES] we're gonna be on the road with her a month." "Later." " When?" "Carly." " Yeah." "Hey, I want you to meet Lauren, my fiancee." "[BOTH] Hi." " It's nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you." " Yeah." " Really great shirt." " Thank you." " Yeah." "D-did you make it?" " No, I modified it." " Smart." "Yeah." "I like your shirt, too." " Thank you." " It's really nautical." " Thank you." " Yeah." " Nice to meet you." "Yeah, you too." "[SETH] How's it going, Jetta?" " Who-who's this?" "That's Jetta, he's, uh-you actually met him before." "You've met him at Barbara and George's cousin's wedding." "How much does he cost?" "Baby, why are you so concerned with how much everything costs?" "Um, I just want to know how much is left." "There's gonna be plenty left." "Hey, let's hit the road!" "Let's hit the road." " Okay." "All right, you guys are going in that car, we're gonna take the van." " Okay." " We'll be right behind you." "[FAKE ENGLISH ACCENT] Milady, your chariot!" "Sir!" "[WHISPERS] Have you seen her shirt?" " What?" " Her shirt?" "Her shirt?" "She modified it." "[CAR ENGINE TURNS OVER]" "[TECHNO BASS SOUND ♪...] [HIGH WHISTLE]" "[MAN SCREAMS] [SPLAT!" "]" "I can't believe this is actually gonna happen." "It's too high." "Baby, I'm not staying on this plane." "[MOUTHS] I'm going." "C'mon." "For real." "Let's go." " [MOUTHS] I don't want to go." " Let's go." "Come on, let's go." " Stop it!" "I don't want to go." " I love you, baby!" " Love you!" "Okay, oh, my God!" "Ready, set!" "[MANTRA] I can't do it." "No, no, no!" "I don't want to do it." "I don't want to go." "Close it now." " Group hug." " Yeah." "That was amazing, oh!" " I wish you would've gone." " I'm sorry, I was too scared." "It's okay." "Okay, it's okay to be scared." "Okay?" "Once." "You get one pass, all right?" "Next time we do something like this, you have to join us." " Okay." " All right?" " Okay." " Love you." "[♪ THE LATE GREAT FITZCARRALDOS: "CHARIOTS"...]" "So you're not gonna say anything?" " Like, what?" " Uh, I don't know." "I mean, we just jumped out of a fucking plane." "[LAUGHS] Like, how cool is that?" "Yeah, it was crazy." "It didn't seem crazy to you, you're just fixing your hair for the last 15 minutes, since we-since we left." "No, it was fu-[CHUCKLES] it was fun, I don't know I don't know what you want me to say." "You know, you can have a good time on this, if you want." "Actually, it's just weird." "Like, I just..." "What's weird about it?" "I don't..." "I don't..." "I don't feel-I don't feel bad for you." "You don't feel bad for me because I'm dying?" "Not really, you make it kind of hard." "How do I make it kind of hard?" "You kind of come off as... an asshole." "Like, you don't seem like you're dying, you don't seem like you care about any things that like you should care about when you're dying." "Like you just want to spend your brother's money, and pay me to like, come along with you and make sure you have fun." "It's just, it's weird, I'm sorry." "For me, I would probably I would want to hang out with, like my family as much as I could." "If I could." "I am hanging out with my family." "Friends." "Look, I'm just not that close to a lot of people." "It's just weird." "Well, what about you?" "[INHALES] Why do you do what you do?" "It doesn't make sense." "It's just a job." "I know it's just a job." "All this is just a job." "It's not [SCOFFS] but it's like, there's no weird explanation or something like It's just a service that I provide and I'm fucking good at it." "It's..." "I moved out to L.A. to be an actress and that's what I do." "My audience is one person or two or three." "Jesus, three?" " Depends." "Um." " Seems obsessive. [CHUCKLES]" "Look, it's not all pathetic, you know?" "Like, I get something out of it." "I lose myself in the role," "I lose myself in someone else's fantasy and it's..." "So, are you doing that right now, with me?" "No. [CHUCKLES] I'm not doing that with you right now." "I'm..." "I'm actually talking to you like a real person and that feels feels right." "[CHUCKLES]" "[PLOP] [TETRIS-LIKE SOUND]" "[ENGINE] [VIOLIN SOUND]" "[HIP-HOP MUSIC ♪...]" "[SETH, NARRATING] Our sound guy, Dutch, had a friend from the service who sold mushrooms in a trailer park near Joshua Tree." "I was excited to meet a friend of Dutch's." "Snappy dresser." "[ZOOMING SOUND]" "[CRUNCHING]" "I've never taken mushrooms before." "Am I gonna freak out?" "You'll freak out." "[LAUREN CHUCKLES]" "No, you're gonna freak out a little bit." " Have you ever freaked out?" " Yeah." "Of course I freaked out." " Have you ever freaked out?" "I freaked out once but that's because I couldn't stop puking." "I freaked out once, too." "But I was with my dad and I was 12." "[ROSS] Whoa, what the fuck?" "!" "[SETH CHUCKLES]" "Not sure we need to hear that story." "Where did that creepy story come from?" "[CARLY] It's not..." "[ROSS] Look, Lauren, just take them." "I'm a sick kid, this is my dying wish that for you to take mushrooms with us." " Okay." "Fine, fine." " [IMITATES GOD] Ahh." "[CARLY] Fine." "Fine." " Fine." " [IMITATES GOD] Ahh." " Fine!" "What the fuck did you just do?" "Baby, did you just take all of them?" "[CARLY] Did you just eat that whole thing?" "[GASPS]" "[CARLY AND ROSS LAUGH]" " Oh, shit, we're fucked." "[ROSS] You just ate an entire bag of mushrooms." "[TECHNO MUSIC ♪...]" "[LAUREN, ECHOING] I like the mushrooms." "[SETH] See, that's what happens." "[ECHOING LAUGHS]" "[MUFFLED TALKING]" "[ECHOING SHRIEKS OF LAUGHTER]" "[ACOUSTIC GUITAR ♪...] [ALL TALKING AND LAUGHING]" "[QUIETLY TALKING]" " Don't." "Don't." "[GROANS] No, stop." "Stop." "How's it going in there with her?" " It's not going anywhere." " Oh, really?" "She, just..." "... "You know the rules."" "And just stormed off." "[LAUREN] Where are you going?" "[CARLY GROANS]" "Ross was just... freaking me out a little bit." "Why?" "'Cause he's trying to be all..." "mushy and shit." "Oh." "Why don't you like mushy?" "'Cause it's not real." "It's bullshit." "Oh, you can't kiss?" "Yeah, we can't kiss." "We can't..." "Can-can you butt fuck?" "Yeah, apparently you can butt fuck her." "You can go downhill So, why-why would you want if butt fucking is like, on the menu." "You're like, oh, you know what, I'm-I'm full," "I'm just gonna have an appetizer," "I'm just gonna..." " ... 'Cause I like her!" "I like her." "So you-you show her that you like her." "I just did!" "I tried to have a nice romantic Being in the tent, tripping." "Her face is off and that went nowhere." "He doesn't know me, I don't know him." "You know, I don't want to pretend that just because he's dying, we're like like soulmates." "Like, I'm working a job." "Wow." " What?" " That's really cold." "It just comes with the territory." "[SETH] If you went to Heaven and God was like," ""Hey, guess what?" "Astrology is real." "It's just all for-fucking-real."" "[ROSS] Every horoscope we read, completely 100 percent real." "Yeah." "I know that's a Capricorn thing to say, but I think..." "[BOTH LAUGH]" "Like, [CHORTLES] WWE wrestling, all real." " Like, pro wrestling?" " Yeah." "Pro wrestling, Iron Shriek, every move he did, fucking real, dude." "[SETH, NARRATING] The truth is, we were only comfortable speculating about the afterlife in jest." "Ross seemed to be aversed introspection because it slowed down the adventure." "But he was changing." "Could-could I interview you real quick?" "Yeah, I got me teeth out, you know," "I'm at home now so I go without teeth." "No, it's okay." "It's just..." " I'll be back in a minute." " Yeah, let him get his teeth." " Okay." "He pulled his own teeth out..." "[ROSS AND SETH] Oh." " ..." "I have them on a necklace." "[LAUREN] Oh, wow." "[ROSS] You don't have the necklace, do you?" "Yeah, I do." "It's got a tiger's tooth and I got six of his teeth as well that he, uh, pulled himself." "'Cause when you live in the Outback of Australia, you do not have access to dentists." "[AGREEMENTS ALL AROUND] believe we'll go after we exit this-this life?" "For me, I won't go anywhere." "You'll stay... your spirit will stay here, or...?" "...No." "No, the body will drop and I'll go back into the transcendent where I came from." "Ask you, but do you retain consciousness in the void?" " No." " Nothing?" " No, there's consciousness." " Mm-hmm." "And there's pure awareness, then there's void." "Once you go into void, you don't exist as any shape or form then." "So, basically we just-we just die and then that's it." "Your-but if your body dies, your world dies, right?" " Right." "Your world is born and it could also die." "Once you find something inside yourself that never changes, then you found the truth, right?" "Yeah." "And it's inside you, and it's inside your friends and it's inside everyone." "Yeah, I-I never really thought of it like that." "Might have been profound, might have been nonsense." "The fact he had some bad-ass fucking face tattoos." "[♪ ROCK MUSIC...]" "[SETH] I would get a tattoo of my dick but, like, a bigger version of it, tattooed on my dick." "What happened to you?" "[SETH CHUCKLES]" "Or I could get abs." "I'd actually appreciate that." "[ROSS LAUGHS]" "[SETH, NARRATING] Ross decided he wanted to get a tattoo of the state of Georgia." "Yeah, this is what I want." "That's where Ross was born and he also wants," ""Fucked a chick named Georgia."" "So, double meaning!" "[NEEDLE WHIRRS]" "Is it okay?" "[ROSS] That's fucking dope, Graham." "That is fucking awesome man, that is great work." "[GRAHAM] Glad you like it." "I can't believe I'm about to say this." "Uh, is there anything you want me to get?" "[CARLY] Uh, "Asian Writing."" "You want me to get Asian writing?" "Like, "Moo goo gai pan?"" " No, no..." "No, literally, just, "Asian Writing."" " The words, "Asian Writing?" - ..." "On your ass." "[LAUREN] Oh, my God." " Let's do it." "[GASPS]" "You're welcome, Ross." " Let me get you some change." " Okay, perfect." " Be right back." " Sounds good." "[♪ HEAVY BASS...] [TETRIS-LIKE SOUND]" "[AIRPLANE FLYING]" "[♪ HARMONIZING...]" "Say, Carly?" "Are you fucking serious?" " Say exactly like Val Kilmer." " Really?" "What's your problem, Kasansky?" "You're everybody's problem." "It's because everytime you go up in the air, you're unsafe." "I don't like you because you're dangerous." "Oh, that's right." "Ice... man." "I am dangerous." "Yeah!" "That was fucking awesome!" "Let's go fly some MIGS!" "[MOUTHS TRASH-TALKING]" "[MUFFLED YELLING]" "What's up?" "[ROSS] Yo!" " You're back." "Was it fun?" " It was fucking amazing." "[SETH CHUCKLES]" "How's everything going with Lamborghini?" "Lamborghini is great." " Cool." "You guys have been spending a lot of solo time together." "Ooo, are you jealous?" "I'm not jealous, I just didn't- you know I thought this trip was going to be about you and me." "I didn't think..." "Yeah, I mean, you brought Lauren along, like..." "Yeah, I know, but, that's different because it's our wedding money that we're spending, so I didn't really have a choice." "Yeah, well, I mean, you said 90 percent of it was yours, she's done about ten percent of the trip so you could send her home if you wanted to." "[HESITATES] Do you not want her with us?" "Why don't you send Lamborghini home?" "I like Lauren." "I like-[STAMMERS] look, here's the thing," "I'm having a blast as the four of us." "So I-I don't understand why you're so jealous." "[CHUCKLES] I'm not jealous, I just Look, we coupled up and I-I'm having fun," "I am generally having fun, Seth." "Thank you." " So how do you I'm serious, I'm having fun on this." "Great!" "I'm having fun, too." "I..." "I just think, it's, uh, your relationship with Lamborghini is interesting." "I just don't know what's..." "...I mean, do you like her?" "Seriously." "Carly, your relationship with Carly is interesting." "My relationship with Carly is interesting?" " Yeah..." " ..." "Yes." "I really like her." " You really like her?" " Yes, I think she is awesome." "She is funny, and smart, and cool and now, I'm getting embarrassed being on camera." "Okay." "Look, that's cool, man." "I just..." " ..." "No, look, hey." "I'm sorry if you felt left out." "Let me make it up to you." "What do you want to do?" "Like, what would you want to do?" "If you could write something down on my bucket list." "I won't tell Lauren." "It would be just for you, it would be something that you and I have that no one else has, what would you want to do?" " I got something." " All right." "[♪ ROCK ALTERNATIVE MUSIC...]" "[LAUREN] Hey, babe, I'm back!" " Hey, sweetie." "What are you doing?" "You like it?" "[QUIETLY] Oh, my God." "Can you help me do the back?" "[SETH] I don't know, all the sudden," "I feel like I have so much pity for so many fools, you know what I mean?" "[LAUREN] That wasn't even on his list." "...That was something you wanted to do." "Ross wanted me to do it." "Part of what he wants is for me to do what I want to do." " What else do you want to do?" " I don't know." "Do you still want to get married?" "Of course I still want to do get married." "Baby, I love you." "I still want to get married." "But I need you to just kind of be there for me through this experience." "You know, could you just do that?" "If your sister was going through what Ross was going through," "I would be there for you 100 percent." "If my sister was dying," "I wouldn't pay for her to sleep with a hooker and get tattoos." "Well, your sister and Ross are very different." "But I'm sure whatever your sister wanted to do, and I would just be there for you a hundred percent." "This is very hard for me." "You know, I don't know," "I don't know what to do in this situation." "All I know is that, whatever Ross needs, I'm gonna do." "And I don't have any leftover mental energy to do relationship maintenance on us." "[♪ UMLALA: "ALL THE WAYS"...] [TETRIS-LIKE SOUND]" "[SETH] You guys excited for the Grand Canyon?" "[CARLY WHOOPS]" "[CAR DOOR OPEN ALARM BEEPS]" " Are you okay?" " Yeah." "Just..." "I lost my balance." " Are you drunk?" " Yeah, I'm pretty drunk." " Lean on me." " I'm fine." "No, come on." "No, put your arm around me." "I'm super strong." "I pump iron." "[CAR ALARM BEEPS]" "[MOUTHS WORDS]" "including the Grand Canyon itself, seemed to be in a conspiracy of silence about Ross's real condition." "But sometimes, in quiet moments," "Ross knew he was dying." "♪ Of your heart" "♪ I'm looking for a way" "♪ Looking for a way" "♪ To tell you ♪" "It's crazy, right?" "Like, huge." "Yeah." " Are you okay?" " Yeah, I'm fine." "Yeah, I know." "I believe you, totally." "You're a horrible liar." "[LAUREN DISBELIEF CHUCKLES]" "I mean, sorry, it's a good thing." "You just-you just suck at it." "Sorry." "[CHUCKLES] No, I'm-I'm fine." "I'm just-I'm just annoyed." " At me?" "No." "It's Seth, he's just acting differently." "I hate this side of him." " Yeah." "I never like when the brothers get together." "Yeah, no, like..." "...It's like," "Ross, um, like, instigates, and..." " ..." "Yeah, feeds the beast." " Yeah." "But, you know, he's gonna be dead soon, so..." "[LAUREN LAUGHS] Oh!" "Oh, my God!" "That's horrible." "But it's true, you know?" "Like, you can just... check that off the list and... with your marriage, that's all." "I'm saying, that's all I'm saying!" "No, that's terrible." "[CARLY LAUGHS]" "That's terrible!" "That was good, though." " Yeah." " It was funny." "It is really deep and big." "[BOTH LAUGH]" "[♪ LOS ENCANTADOS: "SUBWAYS"...]" " Let's go." " Yeah." "[TETRIS-LIKE SOUND]" "[LAUREN] Sweetie." "Babe." "[CARLY GIGGLES]" "So, if you mess with Texas, you get laid off with one warning." "The second time you mess with Texas, obviously you get raped." "I'm booking a job for when I get back." "[SETH] You look really sweaty." "[CARLY] What are all these people doing here?" "[ROSS] Every night at sundown, people gather around here to watch 10 thousand bats fly out from underneath that bridge." "[♪ THE CUTS: "THE WHEELS WILL TURN"...] It's like, um, town tradition." " Where are they going?" " Back to Transylvania." " [CARLY CHUCKLES] Fuck off." " [IMITATES DRACULA'S LAUGH]" "May I ask you something?" " Mm-hmm." " Are you scared?" " Of bats?" "No." " No, asshole." "Of dying." "You remember our rules." "Let's just forget the rules, okay?" "Really?" "[STAMMERS] 'Cause if were gonna forget the rules, then we're gonna forget all of them." " Uh, okay." " So yeah?" " Yes, fine." " Okay." "Are you scared of dying?" "No." "Not really." "It's strange." "Scared about is not leaving anything behind." "You know, no kids, no wife, no legacy, things like that." "Yeah, but what about this?" "Like, your family and friends are gonna have something to remember you by forever." "Not everybody gets that, you know, like a... a good memory of people before they die." "People are gonna watch this, they're gonna know that you were loved and that you were happy and... at peace." "As far as not leaving behind a wife." "That's not true, either." "If you'll marry me." "[ROSS CHUCKLES]" "Come on." "From your "Fuck It List."" ""Fall in love, get married." Lauren showed me." "So..." "Look, as sweet as this is, I appreciate it," "[CARLY GIGGLES] you don't have to do this." "I was joking about that." "Were you really joking, though?" "You know what?" "No." "I wasn't." "So?" "Look, throw the money thing out the window for a second." "Do you even like me?" "Forget that I'm paying you, do you Carly, even really like me?" "'Cause honestly, I-I can't figure it out." "Yes." "I do." "And if you haven't figured that out, wrong with you besides the tumor." "Listen, let's do this the right way then." "[CARLY GIGGLES] Carly Sarah Stoops." "Will you marry me?" "Yes." "Oh, my God, that's so weird." "And it fit [CHUCKLES] it fits perfect." "It's gorgeous." "[ROSS CHUCKLES]" "No more rules?" "No more rules." "[♪ LATIN MUSIC...]" "[ROSS] Cheers." "[LAUREN] Cheers." "To an amazing night." "And a great engagement." "And thank you Seth for paying for everything." "It's us." "It's both of us." "[CARLY] And Lauren." "Thank you so much." "And, uh, I want to just say..." "I'm... not losing a brother, well I guess I am." "[CARLY LAUGHS] [ROSS] Really?" "I'm..." "I'm gaining a sister." "I'm gaining a sister." "I'm gaining a sister." "Is this, like, real?" "Like, this is-this is like, weird." "This is like, some weird, like, alternate universe." "And I love you, too." "[SETH] Who is she always on the phone with?" "I had to make a call-or, I had to answer." "[SETH] Who is calling, was that your mommy?" "Yes, it was my mommy." "[CARLY MOANS]" "Oh, shit!" "Seth, get the fuck out of here!" "What the fuck are you doing?" "!" " Oh, my God!" " Get the fuck out of here!" " I just want to Dude!" "Dude, get out, get out!" " Jesus..." "Christ!" " Is he gone?" "He's gone." "[LAMP CRASHES] [CARLY SCREAMS, LAUGHS]" "[SETH] Oh, rise and shine!" "Oh!" " Really?" " Oh!" "Come on." "...No!" "[SETH LAUGHS]" "[LAUREN] Oh!" "Oh, you look so pretty." "Are you ready to hit the road?" "Yeah." "You just-you can go like that." " [LAUREN] You guys." " I'm gonna need my pills." "You need your pills." "Is Carly alive?" "Barely." "Did you-did you fuck Carly to death?" "[CHUCKLES] Get the fuck out of here." "[LAUGHS] Okay, we got..." "...Look what daddy got?" "[ROSS CHUCKLES]" "World Series." "I am totally amped about this" "[CHUCKLES] Yeah, you seem like it." "Right now..." "[LAUREN LAUGHS] ...You need to get the fuck out of the room." "[SETH LAUGHS] [TETRIS-LIKE SOUND]" "♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars ♪" "♪ Thru the perilous fight," "♪ O'er the ramparts we watched ♪" "Napoleon!" "♪ Were so gallantly streaming?" "♪" "[SETH LOUDLY WHOOPING]" "♪ And the rocket's red glare ♪" "♪ The bombs bursting in air Sports!" "Sports!" "Sports!" "♪ Gave proof through the night ♪" "♪ That our flag was still there ♪" "♪ Oh, say does that" "[SETH] Lauren, are you having fun?" "Not 2,500 dollars worth of fun." "But Ross is having fun." "♪ O'er the land of the free" "♪ And the home of the brave!" "♪" "[LOUD CHEERS]" "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" "Okay, I'm into America again." "[♪ ACOUSTIC GUITAR...]" "[SETH] How you feeling?" " Headaches." "Are you-are you getting those a lot?" "Some." "I'm just..." "I'm feeling very tired and weak." "Truthfully, I just want to lay down and fucking die." "We have to finish the movie, okay?" "We will finish the movie." "I just want to do everything you want to do." "I want you to finish your list." "We will." "Where's Lauren?" " She's asleep." "Everything all right between you guys?" "Yeah, things are good." "Let's go." "[♪ WE ARE MAN: "MY LIST FROM A TO Z"...]" "[SETH, NARRATING] So we backtracked 1,500 miles to Vegas." "So that Carly and Ross can finally concentrate their love according to the traditions of our religion:" "we worship Satan." "[CHURCH BELLS]" "[SETH, NARRATING] I've seen Ross with a lot of girls before, but I've never really seen him in love." "I hardly recognized him." "Oh, my God." "Right?" "[ROSS] You look absolutely beautiful!" "Boom." "Seriously?" "Extrie, extrie, read all about it!" "I'm engaged to a bitch!" "Extrie, extrie." "What am I doing?" "[CHUCKLES] It's crazy." "You're getting married." "Right, I'm cra-do you think I'm crazy?" "For marrying Ross?" " No, you're doing your job." "I just..." "I don't know, it's not really like that, anymore." " Really?" " [CHUCKLES] I'm so fucked." "I'm so fucked. [SIGHS]" " You're falling for him?" "Yeah." " You don't want to?" " No, I don't want to!" "Lauren, he's dying, are you serious?" "[SCOFFS] I know." "What are you going to do?" "I guess I'll-I'll just see him through it, right?" "What am I supposed to do?" "I love him!" "I love the asshole." "Fuck." "Fuck!" "[EXHALES] That looks awful." "It looks so bad." "[LAUREN LAUGHS]" "What do you do?" "I mean, is it...?" "It literally, if-it's like your fingers, are like... they-they're all broken, like they're rubber." "Like they don't have any bones in them." "[♪ VIOLET VISION F. TERRY POISON:" ""HAZY DAYZ"...]" "[ROSS] You're in rare form today." "[BELCHES] Oh, God, help me!" "A, that smells!" "Smells good!" "B, don't judge me." "[QUIETLY] Stop it." "[CARLY] What?" "[LAUREN] Oh!" "Oh!" "[CAR HONKS]" "♪ Amazing Grace" "♪ How sweet the sound" "♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪" "There you go." "Oh." "Oh." "[CARLY LAUGHS]" "Do you promise to always love her tender, never leave her in Heartbreak Hotel, and always be her hunka-hunka burning love?" "I do." "[ELVIS IMPERSONATOR] There you go." "'Til death do you part, honey?" "[CARLY] I do." "We do have something called the pre-nupted rights here." "What is that?" "It just takes a second." "Oh!" "Whoa, whoa, hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Lauren is awesome, she's an awesome person." "I'm a piece of shit." "I'm serious." "I'm a piece of shit, dude!" "She's awesome." "You're not a piece of shit." "I'm a piece of shit." "[LAUGHS] Lauren's fucking awesome." "You had too much to drink." "Bitch, but you're awesome." "[CARLY AND ROSS LAUGH]" "[MOUTHS WORDS]" "[TETRIS-LIKE SOUND] [SOFT ROCK MUSIC ♪...]" "[SETH] Next stop, New Orleans." "[LAUREN] Awesome." "That's gonna be my last stop." "What are you talking about?" "Why?" "You don't want me going along." " Of course I do." " No, you don't." " Yeah, I do." "No." "This whole thing is like an excuse for you to get out of marrying me and it's pathetic." "Is that what you think?" " [GROANS]" "Look, you proposed to me, and if you don't want to get married, it's fine." "Do you want to get married?" "I don't know if I do or not." "I don't like seeing this side of you." "What side of me?" "You're turning his death into your little project." "You're so fucking wrong." "This is his idea." " Yeah, he's the one..." " ..." "Are you sure?" "He wanted to do this." "'Cause I seem to recall when we first started planning that you'd rather spend the money on making a movie." " I was kidding." " Really?" "'Cause that's what we're doing right now." "What a crazy coincidence." "I mean, is Ross even sick?" "He looks fine." "Fuck you!" "[♪ INSTRUMENTALS:" ""WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN"...]" "[CHEERING]" "[MOUTHING ARGUMENT]" "[MOUTHING WORDS]" "[MOUTHING WORDS]" "[MOUTHING WORDS]" "[MOUTHING WORDS]" "[MOUTHING WORDS]" "Get your fucking camera out of my face." "[MOUTHS WORDS]" "[SETH, NARRATING] Lauren wanted to stay out." "I wanted to go home." "Ross handed me the keys." "How had it come to this?" "Am-Am I provoking her?" "Is that...?" "[CAMERAMAN] I think you're provoking her." "[SETH, NARRATING] The next day, she was gone." "[PIANO PLAYING ♪]" "[SETH, NARRATING] I wanted to talk to Ross but how could I burden him with my problems when his were so much heavier?" "How's it going?" "Oh, look at your little doggy." " How you doing?" " I'm alright." "What's wrong?" "[SNIFFLES] I don't know." "I'm just..." "You okay?" "I'm really fucking scared." "Shit, man." "I just can't stop fucking thinking about it." "[SETH, NARRATING] Halfway through Arkansas, the pain got so bad that Ross had checked himself into the emergency room overnight to get more pills." "And a much-needed spongebath." " How's he doing?" " [CHUCKLES] Better now." "[SETH, NARRATING] His dick was really dirty." "[CARLY AND ROSS CHUCKLING] [ROSS] Is that elephant tusk?" "[CARLY] Yeah." "[QUIETLY LAUGHING]" "[SETH] Do you think a cane would be better or a walker?" "Really?" "I don't know, man, it's up to you." "How do you feel?" " I want a fucking cane," "I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life in a goddamn walker." "I know, but is it gonna work?" "[SETH] Is it gonna be enough?" "'Cause I'm getting wasted so I won't be able to..." "[ROSS CHUCKLES] help ya." "Really?" "I'm just..." "...Really?" "In this time?" "I'm just joking. [CHUCKLES]" "Let's get this one." "The campy one?" "All right." "Hey, Ross?" "We should get you some..." "...Depends." "...Some diapers." "If that's cool." "Will you get them for me?" "I don't want to buy those." "Okay." "[SETH] All right, first one to piss themselves wins." "[CARLY] Got it." "I'm peeing right now." "[CHUCKLING] No, you aren't." "I'm... [CARLY LAUGHING] I'm peeing." "Are you really?" "Yeah." "Jesus Christ." "Oh, my God." "Is it working?" "Is it holding it?" "I feel like I'm peeing all over the bed." "You might be." "I hope I'm not." "Oh!" "That felt really-yeah, I won." "That felt really weird." "I feel like I'm sitting in my pee." "Staring at me like I'm on Toddlers And Tiaras?" "[CARLY] Oh, are you like..." "Is this a thing for you?" "[SIGHS]" "[TETRIS-LIKE SOUND] [ENGINE REVVING]" "[STEEL-DROPPING SOUND]" "[SETH] It's nice, ay?" "[CARLY] Yeah." " Pretty fucking cool." "Should we wake up Ross?" " No, let's let him sleep." " Okay." "Seth, I think..." "I think we should take him to a doctor." "No, I think he's been to enough doctors at this point." "Well..." "I've been doing some research and I have this friend who's a radiology oncologist whatever and he was talking to me about this experimental treatment with stem cells and I feel like... maybe..." "[SIGHS] like Ross could be eligible for that..." " ..." "Look." " ..." "Or if they just talked." " ..." "Look, listen, listen." " ..." "Or Ross isn't going back in the hospital." "He's already made up his mind about that." "All right?" "It's just, what if he changes his mind, you know?" "Like, if we just take him back to L.A.... ...We're not going back to L.A." "I got something awesome planned for us in Ohio." "It's part of his list." "It's just, what if we both talked to him and tell him what it is and see if he wants to try it!" "Listen, Carly, no offense, don't take this personally, but for the last two years me and Ross have tried every fucking treatment available to mankind, all right?" "Do you get that?" "Everything." "And all of the sudden, ...Listen!" "You come along, a prostitute, right?" "Who's known Ross for two weeks and you got some former john with some life-saving experimental treatment you want him to roll the dice on." "No!" "Like, look, no thank you." "We're gonna take a pass on that, all right?" "We hired you to do a job." "To keep Ross happy." "You get that?" "This is not gonna keep Ross happy." "So, do your fucking job, okay, or go home!" "[PIANO PLAYING ♪ ...]" "Let's go check out the fucking view." "[ROCK MUSIC ♪ ...] [TETRIS-LIKE SOUND]" "[MAN HURLING]" "[MAN] Whoo!" "♪ One, two, three, four!" "[SETH] Look, they all created Facebook." "Those Winklevii are some strong rowers." "I want you to do something for me." "Sure." "After you die," "I want you to let me know if there's anything afterwards, okay?" "Just I'm gonna-I'm gonna take a pottery class." "And when I'm spinning the clay," "I want you to come up behind me and I want you to, uh," "I want to feel you inside me." "[FAKE CRYING] I just want you-I just want you there." " You want me to Swayze you?" " I want you to Swayze me." "Could you do that for me?" "Could you do it?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I'll Swayze you." " You'll Swayze me?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I think we're having this great heart-to-heart brother and brother moment..." " ..." "We are!" "...And then you ask me to Swayze you." "I'm very serious about that." "I..." "Yeah!" "I-I-I'm seriously saying yes." "I will." "I-you will be my Demi Moore." "[SETH CACKLES] Fucking dick!" "Come on, man." "Let's go." "Put your arm over me." "Let's go." "[TECHNO MUSIC ♪]" "[SETH] All right, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody." "You're probably wondering who the fuck am I?" "[CHEERS]" "I-I'm just a guy who really loves his brother and wanted to throw him one last big, "fuck it all" party!" "Let me introduce to you guys, my brother, Ross." "[CHEERS]" "Thank you." "I can't believe you did this for me, I love you brother." "Tonight... get weird!" "Fuck a stranger." "Don't drink responsibly!" "Don't do the walk of shame because it's not the walk of shame if you have a clean pair of panties in your purse and you're not ashamed about it." "I know you're not!" "I know you're not!" "And without further ado, please welcome Mr. I-Love-College himself," "Asher Roth." "[CHEERS AND WHISTLES]" "Let's go, baby!" "[HIP-HOP MUSIC ♪]" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "If you have a hand, would you please put it in the air?" "[♪ ASHER ROTH: "I LOVE COLLEGE"]" "[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]" "[♪ ]" "[SCREAMING AND CHEERS]" "Shout out to that motherfuckin' Ross." "Fucking Ross is dying and he came here tonight to hang out with you guys." "Just let it be known man, I love you motherfuckers, all right?" "[SETH] What's going on, Carly?" "You okay?" "Yeah, fuck him!" "Why?" "Fuck him." " Why?" "'Cause he says all this fucking shit." "But do you think that maybe that has to do with his tumor?" "He's confused." "He's got a fucking brain tumor." "You expect him to just be like, normal Ross." "I'm not expecting him to be anything." "It's gonna get worse." "Are you gonna stick around when it gets worse?" "Do you have a lighter?" "[EXHALES]" "See, this is what it means to be in it for the long haul, Carly." "[GROANS] You don't have a lighter?" "You don't have a lighter?" "Do you guys have a lighter?" "Does anyone have a lighter?" "!" "Jesus Christ!" "What's wrong?" "Remember that guy?" "The doctor..." " Yeah." " ...client or whatever?" "What about him?" "I called him a couple days ago." "Why would you call him?" "Just listen, I was talking to him about you... and so I told him about your diagnosis and... he was saying they might be able to do this... clinical trial that he's working on..." " Jesus Christ." " ...and I guess they use like stem cells from aborted fetus' or something." "I'm not putting a fucking aborted fetus inside my brain." "Can you just listen to me for a second, please." "He sounded like, really positive, like... like it could work." "We talked about this at the very beginning." "I don't want to go back to a doctor." "I don't want to go back to a fucking hospital." "Now you're bringing it up?" "I'm fucking shitting myself." "I can't barely walk." "I can't see out of my eye." "And now, "Oh hey, let's try it now."" "Now that I'm all fucked up, "Let's try this now."" "Awesome, is he going to bring my fucking eye sight back?" "You know what?" "I fucking understand why you've never been in love." "Because you're a fucking selfish asshole." "And you don't give a fuck about me or your family or your brother." "You just-- you can't do this to me!" "I'm not gonna fucking do it!" "[ROSS] Hey...." "Look, I'm sorry, all right?" "I didn't know you felt like that." "All right, let's..." "Let's go." "I'll get the treatment, all right?" "What do you mean?" "The fucking treatment." "I'll do it." "I was being an asshole." "[INHALES]" "Try it." "You will?" "[CARLY] I love you." "[♪ ]" "[SETH NARRATING] In five days, we would fly back to Los Angeles to begin experimental stem cell therapy." "Ross was weak..." "but hopeful." "[SETH NARRATING] As Ross began consulting on the phone with his team of doctors in Los Angeles, I felt a mixture of hope, relief... and a new kind of sadness that I was struggling to understand." "[MUSIC ENDS ♪]" "All of these people, all of these patients are still alive." "[SETH] What are you guys doing?" "What are you looking at?" "Is that the clinical trial stuff?" "Yeah, I just want to know what I'm getting into, you know?" "[SETH] What are the side effects?" "The usual..." "Fatigue... hair loss, chocolate penis." "The ushe" "[SETH] Chocolate penis?" "Mm-hmm, I'm happy about it." "[CHUCKLES] She loves chocolate." "It's a win-win." "What about you?" "[SETH] What do you mean?" "What are you gonna do when I'm all better?" "[SETH] I'm gonna fucking celebrate." "I'm gonna drink a fuckin' gallon of hobo's blood and just walk the streets in my nudity." "Are you capable of having a serious conversation?" "[SETH] Uh, I can try." "Why?" "I feel like you guys are about to do an intervention on me." "I'm just wondering." " No, I mean, look..." "I love you... and you've been awesome to me for the last two-and-a-half years for going through all this shit with me and... documenting it and I get all of it but..." "What the fuck has happened to you?" "[SETH LAUGHING] What do you mean?" "What do I mean?" "Look..." "look at yourself." "[SETH] Okay." " Look at this guy in the fucking mirror?" "What do you see there?" "I see David Schwimmer with a Mohawk." "See?" " Like the love child of..." "Bette Midler and David Schwimmer." "and you know that I love you and I think you're fucking hilarious..." "But truthfully, that's a guy who's lost right there." "You've lost Lauren, you lost your fiancÃ©." "Jesus Christ, you lost most of your hair..." "With a razor... and you just keep joking around about it." "It seems like when I got sick, you started drinking, you started getting more out of control and living like it was your last day on earth." "Yeah." "Now you don't have Lauren, you don't have a fiancÃ©, you're getting fucked up all the time." "What's" " What's gonna happen?" "Either this works and I live and I go on and live my life with her..." "What life do you go back to?" "Who do you go home to at night?" "'Cause eventually this is gonna end one way or another." "Like either, like I'm going to die or I'm going to live, but the party's gotta fuckin stop at some point." "[SETH NARRATING] When the party was over..." "What would I be left with?" "And what would I be left without?" "We're engaged!" "This is like hours later." "But we've had a lot of steak and a lot of wine and Florence has treated us very well." " We wanted to tell you." "All of you." " All of you." "That we love..." " Our public." "...our public." "[BOTH LAUGHING]" "Anyways..." " Okay, love you!" "[SETH] So what just happened?" "[BOTH LAUGH]" "Umm..." "Seth just proposed to me, in Florence." "And I thought that he was absolutely 100 thousand million percent not." "I cannot even..." "I'm really surprised." "Like, I still have to sit down." "I have not gotten up from this chair." "This is where it happened." "He kneeled down, and we're in Florence." "He was sitting here, he looked really scared and I did not know why, um..." "Should we reenact it for them?" "Okay..." "No" " No." "Okay." "[SETH NARRATING] So with the last of our wedding money," "I flew down to Maryland and went to Lauren's parents' house to make a grand gesture." "In a rented tuxedo and a white horse." "Lauren!" "Lauren!" "Seth what are you doing on a horse?" "Is Lauren home?" "[LAUREN'S DAD] I don't think she wants to see you right now." "[SETH NARRATING] Her parents told me that she didn't want to see me, and she finally came outside so that I could make my case." "I told her that I knew I'd been an asshole." "I'd made her feel like an outsider." "It was all my fault and there was no excuse I could make that would justify my behavior." "But it was up to her to decide if she could forgive me." "At the end of the day, I think the horse and the outfit did most of the work." "Later that afternoon," "Lauren and I flew back to New York together to meet up with Ross and Carly." "[LAUREN] Baby?" "Yeah?" "Everyone's leaving the ice." "I know." "We'll go, we'll go..." "Let's just take our time." "So we're making our way back?" "Ow, my foot." "Let's make our way back, everyone's leaving." "I know, hold on one second." "I think my..." "I think one of my laces might have come undone..." "No..." "Is it" " Is it alright?" "Okay." " No, I was just checking my lace." " Let's go." "Hey baby?" "[THE TEMPTATIONS "MY GIRL" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS ♪]" "I uh..." "I wanted to tell you..." "I'm so, uh..." "I'm so sorry for what happened when we were in, uh..." "Las Vegas... and when you gave the ring back to me, it was like the worst day of my life." "But uh..." "I wanna tell you that..." "I love you so much." " Oh my God." "What are you doing?" " And..." " What are you doing?" "I want" " I want you back." "And I wanna do it for real this time." "So I want you to tell" " Oh my God... oh my god." "Oh my God!" " Basically..." " What are you doing?" "!" "[SETH LAUGHING]" "Oh my God!" " Basically..." "[CHEERS AND WHISTLES]" "Will you marry me?" "Oh my God!" " It's not going on." " Oh my God." " What do you say?" " Yes." " Yes?" " Yes." "[CHEERING]" "Come here, come here." " What is this?" "Oh my God." "Oh my God." "Oh, thank you!" " Congratulations!" " Thank you so much!" "Oh my God." "You okay?" "I'm okay." "[SETH NARRATING] With two days left before his treatment was scheduled to begin." "Ross decided it was finally time to go home." "[♪ ]" "[KNOCKING]" "[SETH] There she is." "Hey, Mom!" " Good Lord!" "[GREETINGS AND LAUGHING]" "Hi!" "Haven't seen you for awhile!" "Good to see you." " Good to see you." " Hi!" " I'm Ross' mom, Sandra." "This is Carly." "Nice to meet you." "Come on in!" "So how long have you known Ross?" "Um like, like a month or two." "A month or two?" " Mm-hm." "Well you seem happy." "You seem like a cute couple." "Yeah, we are." "Can I tell you something?" "Do I want to know?" "We're married." "Get out..." "Seriously?" "Yeah, seriously!" "[ROSS] You heard the good news!" "Yeah, what a surprise." " Yeah." "Uh, I really don't know what to say..." "Uh, you and your brother kept this from me?" "Yes, we did because we knew you'd freak out." "Ok so..." "You've got that right." "I am freaking out." "[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]" "Are you pregnant by any chance?" "No, no." " No!" "Wait, there was..." " Oh, right..." " a night in Austin where we..." "Uh, no, no, no, I don't want to know about that." "[ROSS] Totally kidding, I don't" "Don't wanna know that one." " No." "Okay..." " Umm..." "I know-- [SETH] Did she say congratulations?" " Uh, well..." " Seth she is not stoked." " Yeah..." "I think the congratulations needs to wait a little bit." "In that, so...." "What are you shooting here?" "It's like a-- It's their wedding video." "The wedding video?" "Oh, okay." "Do you think maybe you would have let your Dad and I know about it?" "[SETH] Uh, it was a very spontaneous thing." " I guess, okay..." " Yeah, in Vegas." "Oh, okay." "[SETH] You should show her the pictures." "Yeah, we should and I would love to show you those pictures, but right now I am exhausted and I just need to go lie down for a minute." "Uh, but please know, I am in love with this girl and she is fantastic..." "I will be happy to tell you the entire story after I get up." "All right, well go lie down and, uh... she and I will sit and talk for a while." "[LAUGHTER] Oh..." "Okay..." " Seth, do you want to tell her what that voice means... or should I?" " Yeah." "I'm super tired to and I would" " Yeah, yeah." "Wow, wait 'til your Dad hears this." "[SETH] I... yeah..." "[MOM] Interesting..." "So what the fuck's going on?" "He looks awful." "He just, um..." "We've just been like drinking and traveling and stuff." "[SETH] It's just a long time on the road and he hurt his leg, it's not a big deal..." "All right, well then, we'll let him get some rest, we'll cook out some steaks and then... you know, we'll just hang out a little bit." "How'd the two of you meet anyway?" "Let's talk a little bit." "[ROSS] Uh, we actually..." "Seth introduced us." "Okay." "How did you meet her, Seth?" "[SETH] Uh, at the..." "[ROSS] We were at the bar." "[SETH] ...the bar!" " At Tim's bar." " At Tim's bar." "[ROSS] So..." "[SETH] Yeah, she was uh... she was there with some of her friends." "It was weird because she had just gotten back from a deep sea dive and she was still, uh... feeling the effects of the oxygen deprivation, so I think Ross appeared to her as a... as a catch." "And uh, when she recovered from the, uh, oxygen deficiency, it was too late." "[ROSS] Seth is telling a bullshit story of how we met, which is awesome." "Like, the oxygen deficiency..." "[DAD] See, this is why I won't scuba dive 'cause, you know, that shit will, you know, mess up your mind." "[SETH NARRATING] Back home, grilling steaks in the cold with Dad, with Lauren in love with me again..." "Ross and Carly happy, hopeful... and Mom laughing." "I wanted to hold onto this moment forever." "That was why I think Ross never told them how sick he was." "He didn't want to ruin any more of their days than he had to." "I'll take both dogs, too." "Oh, you will?" "Can you tell him to stop filming?" "Yeah." "Hi..." "You have to stop filming." "[SETH] What?" " You need to stop filming." " Why?" "The light is amazing right now." " Yeah, you have to stop." "Can you just stop please?" "[ROSS] I don't think I can stand." "You know, this is my favorite place in the entire world." "Better than the Grand Canyon, Vegas or Niagara Falls." "[CARLY] I don't think there's anything better than just... being home..." "with your family, you know?" "I haven't had that in a lot of years." "[ROSS] Where are they?" "[CARLY] They're all dead." "[ROSS] What happened?" "[CARLY] My dad killed my mom and my sister and himself." "[ROSS] Jesus Christ, Carly I'm so sorry." "[CARLY] He tried to kill me too but..." "I ran away." "[ROSS] How old were you?" "[CARLY EXHALES] I was 13." "My sister was 15." "[ROSS] Well you are part of the family now, Mrs. Patterson." "So they're your family too." "I'm really tired." "I should get home and rest." "[SETH NARRATING] This was the last shot I got of Ross on camera." "In the end, the stem cell treatment didn't work." "I wanted to turn his death into something else." "A work of art, an experiment in cinema, a consolation." "Instead..." "it became this artifact." "And I'm still digging through it, trying to find my brother... trying to find myself." "[PIANO BALLAD ♪]"