"Good morning." " Good morning, Sir." "Good morning." "Good morning." "I just came to look around." "Yes, sir." " All right if I go below?" "Certainly, sir." "Can I get you some coffee?" "No, I'll just go below and wait for the captain." "Maybe later." "Well, sir." " Chief." "Who's he?" "That's Sherman." " Yes?" "And what is he doing here at six in the morning?" "He came to make sure that you were comfortable." "Don't you know anything about submarines?" "Yes, sure." "I know Sherman." "He's the boss of Submarines Pacific." "He was the first captain of this boat." " Yes, I know that." "Then you should be able to figure out what he is doing here." "If you were the first skipper of the "Sea Tiger"  and you ordered her sent to the junkyard at nine  what would you be doing at six?" "USN SEA TIGER CAPTAIN'S JOURNAL" "December 10, 1941." "Moored starboard side to Machina Wharf." "Cavite Navy Yard  Philippine Islands, for provisions and fuel." "Directive received from Commander Asiatic Fleet..." ""You will sink or destroy all enemy ships wherever encountered. "" "Have advised Commander Submarine Force, Asiatic Fleet... ." "that "Sea Tiger" will be ready for sea at 19:00, 10 December 1941." "Captain!" "Captain!" "Enemy planes over." "Ready on engines?" " The best we can, Sir." "Cut those lines!" "Take cover!" "I'm not denying we suffered minor damage, Sir, but..." "Minor damage?" "What does it take to convince you?" "You've been sunk!" "You ought to read your own report." " Yes." ""Bulkheads, main ballast tanks and pressure hull  ripped by bomb fragments." "Engine room flooded, main induction and ventilation wrecked  torpedo tubes, motor controls and reduction gear inoperable  electrical equipment, wiring, gauges, gyro, radio. "" "All you've got out there  is a periscope sitting on a couple of thousand tons of scrap metal." "What do you suggest, sir?" "Should we underwater weld to jury patch the hull before pumping her out  or should we raise her first and then work on the hull?" "Matt, with major repairs and a complete overhaul maybe Sea Tiger could be put back in commission." "A functioning Navy yard might do it." " Sir." "My chiefs are pretty good hands." "They know they're on their own." "and what we're up against." "But we think we can get " Sea Tiger " back in the war." "Yes, on who's side?" "We're due to evacuate back to Bataan on the 26th  two weeks to do a job a yard couldn't do in two months." "We don't think we can get her into fighting trim right away... repair it... just enough to reach the nearest sub tender." "That would be the "Bushnell", in Darwin." "... almost two thousand miles of ocean... with the Japanese Navy roaming over it." "And you're going to make it in a sub held together with spit and bailing wire?" "Sir  the " Sea Tiger " deserves a better epitaph than  "commissioned 1940, sunk, 1941." "Engagements: none." "Shots fired: none. "" "You can't let her go that way, it's like  a beautiful woman dying an old maid, if know what I mean  by an old maid." "Did you ever sell used cars?" " No, sir." "I think you missed your calling." "Okay, Matt." "You've got two weeks to get her out or we blow her up." "Fair enough." "By the way  three of my officers and eighteen men have been transferred  How soon can I can get them back?" " You don't." "You'll have to get by with a skeleton crew." "I'll get you what replacements I can." "Yes, sir." "Thank you, sir." "All done." "Men, clean up later." "That's all we can do now." "An odd job but might hold alright." "Yes, sir." "Do you think the No. 2 tank will hold?" "All that we can do is try, sir." "Which one are you holding?" " The left." "Well hang on." "Okay, give her some air." "I found it, I found it!" "Found it." "Look." " I give up." "What is it?" "The cake that my mother sent me." "Isn't that nice." "Take it to the cook, maybe he'll warm it up." "Mothers." "Why couldn't she send something we need?" "Like a universal coupling joint." "What is it, Molumphry?" "I do not know, sir." "Have a look." "Looks like the Good Humor man." "I wonder if he left his tie off." " What's going on?" "Take a look, sir." " Okay." "Holy moly." "What is it?" "I hope I'm wrong, but with that suitcase I'd say he was one of the replacements." "Don't tell me that!" "Oh, for heaven's sake!" " Do you know anything about him?" "Only from the society pages of the Honolulu newspapers;..." "His name is Lieutenant Nick Holden." " Holden." "He's the darling of the high-class social set." "I'll bet he is." " He and the Admiral's wife... won the rumba championship two years in a row!" "Okay, fellows." "Come on, knock it off." "Back to work." "Lieutenant Nick Holden, reporting for duty, sir." "Excuse the misunderstanding, Mr. Holden..." "It's unusual to see an Admiral's aide without the Admiral." "He was scheduled to be transferred." "I was sent to make arrangements... then the war broke out..." " And you're stranded?" "Yes, sir." "Captain Henderson assigned me to you..." "He said to hurry..." "before you left." "The bearings are okay sir... but if we don't come up with an oil pump shaft we will only  get out of here by rowing." " Didn't Hunkle follow up the requisition?" "Requisition?" "That's all we do." "But we never get anything." "We might as well write a letter to Santa Claus." "Ya." "Well, thank you, Tostin." "Have you ever been in a submarine?" " No, sir." "We need a torpedo and gunnery officer." "Any experience?" "Guns?" "I'm afraid not, sir." " How about navigation?" "Terribly sorry." " Communications?" "Wish I could help, sir." "Tell me." "Before becoming an Admiral's aide What did you do in the navy?" "Well, sir, I was primarily an idea man." "I see." "Well..." "Tell me - what does an idea man do?" "I coordinated the Navy day parade in Milwaukee  and I was the special liaison officer for the Eleventh Naval District." "Liaison?" "With what?" " Hollywood." "I coordinated the design of admission posters." "From there I transferred to Fleet Headquarters Honolulu." "Is that where they gave you sea duty?" "No, sir." "I was the Recreation Officer at the Royal Arms Hotel." "Just for my information  What does an idea man do in a hotel?" "The Navy took over the hotel for officer's training... and I saw that entertainment was provided." "Have you ever been to sea?" " Yes, sir, destroyer duty." "How did you find time for it?" " It was a mistake, sir." "A week after I left Honolulu they got it straightened out." "Who, the Admiral or the Admiral's wife?" "She must be upset with you out here ;... that will cost her the rumba championship this year." "Holy!" "Here you go, my man." "Will you take this bag and clubs to the submarine?" "Thank you, son." "Hunkle." "What about that oil pump?" "Well, I put in four requisitions." "Did you put stamp them urgent?" " I put a requisition in for one, sir." "For what?" " An urgent stamp, we haven't got one." "Haven't we received anything from supplies?" "The only requisition that's been filled is the requisition for more requisition paper." "Captain, I got the trim pump broken down." "Want to look at it?" "Yes." " All right, Hunkle." "Can I help you, sir?" "No, not really." "My name is Lt. Nick Holden." "I'm Ernest Hunkle." " Pleasure to meet you." "Would care for some coffee?" "Yes, thank you." " Follow me." "Who is that?" " It's " The Prophet ", sir." "His he always that cheerful?" "That's just the way he is, sir." "Don't mind him." "Cream and sugar?" " Yes, thank you." ""Why even try?" "..." "If you're lucky enough... to live through today... tomorrow  ... you will die. "" "I don't know..." "From the looks of things around here he knows what he's singing about." "Your coffee, sir." " Thank you." "Excuse me, I must get back to my work." " Certainly." "Thank you." "Sir." "Sir." "Look at this." " What?" "Last June, when we were here, I requisitioned toilet paper." "Every time we've been back I sent through a follow up  according to the book through channels I even submitted a sample." "So what happens?" "They responded : " Cannot identify, requisition cancelled "." "Not that I'm complaining, sir, but this what I've been going through." "All right, Hunkle." "Relax  Take a letter." "Let's see." "Are you ready?" " Yes, sir." "From Commanding Officer " USS Sea Tiger "..." "To Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Cavite, Philippines..." "Dear Commander Submarine Forces, etc..." "Subject :" "Toilet paper." "One:. ." "... on 6 June, 1941  this vessel submitted a requisition for 150 rolls of toilet paper  On 16 December, 1941... the requisition was returned with stamped notation..." ""can not identify material required"." "Two :. ." "The Commanding Officer of the " USS Sea Tiger "... can not help but wonder what is being used... at Cavite as a substitute for this unidentifiable material... once so well known to this command." "Three :. ." " Excuse me, sir." "What?" " Excuse me for interrupting." "Have you ever been to Las Vegas?" " Why?" "The boys up there would say you're trying to make your point the hard way." "Putting in requisitions, going through channels..." "You've got to sneak up a few back alleys." "You need a Supply Officer to help you find those back alleys." "You, Mr. Holden?" " Yes, sir." "You'd ruin your manicure." " Here." "Don't let my manicure fool you, sir." "I grew up in a neighborhood called " Noah's Ark "." "If you didn't travel in pairs, you didn't travel." "Why don't you make out a shopping list and I'll see what's left at the market?" "You're not the volunteering type." "What's your angle?" "Same as yours." "We both want to get the submarine  out of here." "You so you can fight your war  and me..." "Well, let's say I'm an optimist." "Wherever we're headed I am sure I can get a better deal." "Mr. Holden, I may regret this  but you've just been made my Supply Officer." "Get your list from Hunkle." " Thank you, sir." "I am going to need a couple of men." "May I pick my own?" "Right." " Thank you, sir." "Hunkle  I've got a list for you." "We're going shopping tonight." "Turn on the lights." "Look, gentlemen, I think we hit pay dirt." "Do you have the list?" " Yes, sir." "Take the stuff we need to the door." "Let's go, we don't have much time." "Come on, guys." "You grab the wire." "I forgot something, sir." " What did you forget?" "I never wrapped up my belongings for my kinfolk  if we don't get back." " Will you stop talking like that?" "They're going to find us and shoot us down like a dog." "Will you shut up?" " Alright, Hunkle." "He's got the right idea;" "so be very careful." "Get it to the door." " Don't forget what you promised ;..." "When the shooting starts turn your back so Gertie won't get splattered." "Who is Gertie?" "You don't know about Gertie?" " Shut up." "Get moving with that thing." "Hunkle, who is Gertie?" "Molumphry will be happy with this wiring." "Hunkle, I asked you a question." "Who is Gertie?" "The truth is that she's nobody." " Hunkle." "Well, sir, when my enlistment was up last year, the boys  gave me a farewell party." "I do not usually drink, sir, but that night I must have." "The last thing I remember  is standing in front of a tattoo parlor..." "May I?" "They ought to hang you in the Louvre." " I came home to marry  but when I saw myself in the mirror, I reenlisted." "I never could explain Gertie to my fiancée." "No." "I can see you've got a problem." "But look on the bright side ;..." "You've probably got the sexiest chest in the Navy." "Sir." " Yes." "I am not one to worry when there's no need but  after we get this stuff to the door, how do we get it to the boat?" "Don't worry about that, just keep your stuff..." "The police!" " Check the warehouses." "Halt!" "What's your business here?" "I stepped out for a breath of air." " Let's see your identification." "Certainly." "Here you are." "Lieutenant." "Why black face, sir?" "Don't you know the penalty for breaking blackout regulations?" "Blackout regulations?" " You read the order from Admiral Nimitz?" "No." "What order?" " Regulation 4-1-9-8-2 :. ." ""... no navy personnel shall appear at night without face camouflage. "" "A plane comes over, you look up, give away our position." "Sergeant, a face like that could cause a lot of damage  I'll have to put you on report." "Honestly, sir, no one told me about it." "Alright, you've been told." "Black out that face, Sgt." "Yes, sir." "Thank you, sir." "Admiral Nimitz?" " Yes, sir." "Hey that was close." " It's a trap... we used to take possums like that... you fool them so they feel safe and then, bang!" "We are three possums waiting..." " Come on, Prophet." "Just..." "We've only got a couple of minutes." "Get the stuff." "Hey Chief!" " Yes, Dooley?" "Your shaft's here." "Thanks, Dooley." "Look, Molumphry, brand new oil pump shaft." "Congratulations, look's like you, Tostin." "What is that?" " Your refrigerator unit." "That?" " We were lucky to get it." "Man, it was cold in that ice house." "Look, sir, new oil pump shaft." " Fine, fine." "Where is Mr. Holden?" " Keeping an eye on the truck." "Mr. Holden!" "A decent night for shopping, sir." " Yes" "Could be something saved." "I know where you got the Navy supplies but what about the truck?" "I can't take credit for the truck, sir." "Ramon got it." "Ramon?" "Ramon!" "Smile, sir." "He's very sensitive." "What?" " Captain Sherman, Sergeant Gillardo." "I'm happy to be a member of your crew, sir." "What do you mean, member of my crew?" "Well, sir..." "I promised the sergeant that if he helped us out, you'll take him on." "But he's a marine." "Well, he's open to a better offer." "You'd better get back to work." "I'll handle this." "That man is a prisoner." "Well, it was." "You see, the prison stockade was bombed  you have no idea how hard it was to find him." "You mean you actually went looking for him?" "Of course." "He's the greatest operator around here  shortly after he became General Warren's chef  he went into business for himself." " I'll bet." "He was sole owner of best restaurant in Manila." "And what about the " P " on his back?" "The " P "?" " Yes" "Oh, that..." "Let's start there." "You see, someone started prying and found that the Marines... supplying all the meat and silverware..." "But he's a man who can get a job done." "There isn't a burglar, swindler, pickpocket or fence on the island... that doesn't love, know, and respect him." "That's probably a glowing recommendation, Mr. Holden..." "I have no intention of taking a thief on my crew..." "He's an escaped prisoner, a deserter." "True, but he is also one other thing." " What?" "He's also an informer  and if we don't take him he will tell everybody everything." "Yeah." "And you're in too deep for than now, sir." "We don't have a sales slip for all this merchandise." "It seems I'm boxed in, Mr. Holden." "You've made a wise decision, sir." "I will tell him, he will be so happy." "Ramon!" "You have to give him credit, sir  that's what I call a Supply Officer." " What?" "I wonder where he got everything." "There's only one way to live with the situation." "It's like watching a stripper  do not ask how she does it, just enjoy what's coming off." "19 December, 1941." "The repairs are progressing." "Morale is high, except for their concern that  our supply officer might be caught and shot." "I have mixed feelings ;..." "Lt. Holden and Sgt. Gillardo are undoubtedly... the world's greatest thieves." "Scavengers." "To paraphrase Mr. Churchill ;  " never have so few stolen so much from so many. "" "And what they can not find in warehouses  they improvise." "Mr. Sherman, I'm aware that there has been wholesale scavenging..." "No, up to now I overlooked it, knowing the position." "Yes, sir." " But this time you've gone too far." "Mr. Sherman..." "I want my wall back." "I'm not sure we have it." " You must have it." "You've got everything else." "I do not mind a bit of initiative but you..." "Sir, I have to get back to my boat." "Wait a minute, I'll go with you!" "Any damage?" " No direct hit, sir." "Concussion may have sprung some plates in the tanks, Mr. Watson's checking." "Or camouflage caught fire, we cut it down." "Were we spotted?" " Yes, sir." "A couple gave us a close-up look we could spit at... without the. 50 that's all we could do." "Well, I guess that does it." "Now they'll know where to find us." " I'm sorry, Matt." "Sir, request permission to get underway." "Get underway?" " Yes" "In that?" "I can get as far as Cebu and complete repairs." "Cebu?" " That's only 400 miles." "You'd be in trouble if it was 400 feet." "You're in no condition to go out." "We've made amazing progress." " You can not even submerge..." "If you try running on top in the daylight you're a dead duck." "Molumphry!" " Yes, sir?" "Can this boat go down?" " Like a rock, sir." "Mr. Watson, how are the plates?" " Tight as a drum, sir." "And the engines, Tostin?" " Factory fresh, sir." "What do you say, sir?" "Take your scavengers and these liars and get out." "Yes, sir." " But one stipulation." "You will engage no enemy shipping, including lifeboats." "If you see someone swimming in the water avoid him." "Yes, sir." " Good luck." "Thank you, sir." "Matt." "Is this what's left of my wall?" "I wouldn't know, sir." "I would appreciate at least  getting my window back." " Yes, sir." "Can we make it?" "Well, we have No. 1 engine in shape." "No. 2 I'll tell you about when it's put back together." "How about three and four?" "I've been using them for parts for one and two." "I am a religious man, Captain, I believe God will get us through." "Of course, He'll have to give us his undivided attention." "Mr. Watson!" "Be ready to get underway when Mr. Holden and his gang get back." "Aye, sir." " Any idea where they went?" "No, sir." "When the air raid started they took off." "All Mr. Holden said was:" "" in confusion there is profit. "" "Obviously the same guys who..." "Sir, we just got a call from the Security Officer, and he's furious." "Why?" "What's wrong?" "Apparently someone stole his safe." "What happened, sir?" "Douglas, I think we've been victims of Sherman's march to the sea." "Make all preparations for getting underway." "Aye aye, sir." "Station the watch." "Lookouts to posts for sea." "Ready to get underway?" " Ready, sir." "Get ready on No. 1 engine." "Maneuvering, Bridge." "Get ready on No. 1 engine." "Ready on No. 1 engine." "Maneuvering, Bridge." "Get ready on No. 1 engine." "Any time they're ready." "Maneuvering, Bridge." "Any time you're ready." "Mr. Holden!" "What the devil is that?" "A witch doctor, sir." "Ramon found him in the hills." "We hired him." "You hired him?" "To ward off evil spirits and wish us a safe journey." "I figured we could use all the help we could get, sir." "Hey hey hey hey." "Cut that out." "Mr. Holden!" "Will you tell this fella..." "I can't hear myself think!" "Go away, please!" "Get away from my boat!" "Get away from my... !" "Single up all lines." "Single one." "Single four." "Right full rudder." "All ahead one third, starboard back one third." "All ahead one third, starboard back one third." "What a character." "All stop." "Shift your rudder." "All stop." "Shift your rudder." "All ahead two thirds." "Ease your rudder." "All ahead two thirds." "Ease your rudder." "You'll never make it." "Tostin is still fighting with the No. 2 engine, sir." "Sounds like he's losing." "How's the battery charge?" "Just enough for a trim dive." "Okay to try it?" "Not now, wait for the dawn, we have to take it down then." "We will have to try it sometime." "I'm not complaining, sir." "I had my choice." "Of what?" "I could have gone to West Point." "Careful, sir." "Well, now is the time." "Let's take her down." "Aye, sir." "Clear the bridge." " Clear the bridge." "Number one." " Aye." "Number Two." " Aye." "Number Three." " Number Four." "Make depth five-eight feet." " Aye, sir." "Five-eight feet." "Five-eight feet." "Check your bubble." "Close all vents." "All ahead one third." "All ahead one third." "Periscope depth." "Let's check for leaks." "Take her down to 100 feet." "All ahead two-thirds." "All ahead two-thirds." "6 degrees down bubble." "All departments check for leaks." "Report to control." "All departments check for leaks." "Report to control." "Close watertight doors." "Close bulkhead flappers." "Close watertight doors." "Close bulkhead flappers." "She creaks a bit." "She's sure moaning and groaning, sir." "Cycle all vents." "I doubt if Sam Sneed would approve of using irons that way." "We were lucky that Mr. Holden had a set of golf clubs." "Aren't we?" "Guess we didn't bleed all the air out of the hydraulic system." "100 feet." "You can't win, my friend." "You can't win." "You can't win, so why even try?" "If you're lucky enough... to live through today... ..." "Tomorrow you will die." "All compartments report tight, sir." "Thank you." "Open the watertight doors." "Good morning, sir." " Good morning." "If you're ready for breakfast, sir, I'll be in the wardroom." "What is that?" " Orange juice, sir." "Where are you taking it?" "For Mr. Holden." "He's having breakfast in bed." "Wait a moment, Sgt." "I'll take it down." " Yes, sir." "May I come in?" "Please do." "Good morning." " Good morning, Mr. Holden." "I've got a bad neck from too much tennis." " Really?" "Well." "Did you get a good night's sleep?" "Not too good; it was a little damp and noisy." "Strange surroundings." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Thank you." "Well, how's the food?" "Satisfactory?" "Excellent, thank you." "Would you like a cigar?" " No, no thanks." "I suppose after you digested breakfast... you'll want to get up on deck and play a little shuffleboard, right?" "This war must be inconvenient for you, Mr. Holden?" "I try to make the best of." "Yes, and you do, indeed you do." "I know you're not familiar with the way the functions at sea." "Cigarette?" " No, thank you." "But here we all..." "We all eat and work together... ... and so you won't upset that system, You will have to do it our way." "You've got three minutes to get off your fat mattress... and report to Mr. Watson!" " Yes, sir." "You are going to learn something if I have to poor it into you!" "Another thing : here we dress alike, Got any regulation trousers?" "No, sir." "I had all my clothes made at " Saks " Fifth Avenue." "I can't to do anything about the uniform, but don't want you to think..." "I'll expect breakfast in bed every morning." "Scuttlebutt is that we will submerge at daybreak  and if you gotta go, you might as well go big." "It is past daybreak and we are submerged." "We are?" " Yes." "You mean we're under?" " Yes" "But it isn't a permanent situation?" "I mean, we can up if we'd like to?" "Well, I'd like to think we can." "But I'm an incurable optimist." "What happens, sir, if... ?" "What happens if we can not... ?" "If we can not..." "Then..." "What kind of answer is that?" " Why?" "Nervous, Mr. Holden?" "Yes." "Tell me something :" "Why did you join the navy?" "because I needed an officer's uniform." "As a kid I was a victim of the most vicious propaganda;... people told me... that money was not everything, and I believed it." "Until I found out that people saying  "money is not everything " were the ones who had it." "I figured they were trying to hide a good thing." "Sir, please sit down." "Yes." "Now there are two simple ways to make money :. ." "You can steal it, or you can marry it." "To marry it, you have to travel in the right circles  on the right side of the tracks." "Two things I learned:" "One :" "A uniform can take you to the best places, and two :. ." "no one ever checks Dun and Bradstreet in a bedroom." "It sounds like a winning combination." "Would you like to see the jackpot?" "That the girl from the right side of the tracks?" "She owns the tracks  or 5. 2 % of all the railroad stock in America." "Isn't she lovely?" "We had a dinner date one night, and I was a few minutes late... and she didn't want it to happen again." "Have you ever seen a two thousand dollar watch?" "My, my, my." "When the minister says " will you take this woman? " he won't be kidding." "When is the happy occasion?" " The day I get back." "You see that I get back and I'll see you have a private submarine." "For heaven's sake." "Excuse me." "Is this normal or should I be nervous again?" "Captain!" " Yes" "One of our connections carried away, sir..." "We're rigging a patch, but I don't think it will hold." "Prepare to surface." " Stand by to surface." "Lookouts to conning tower." "Stand by to surface." "Lookouts to conning tower." "How much time for repairs?" " About six hours  if we can work over the side." " Six hours..." "The nearest place with a sheltered anchorage is" "Marinduque island." "We better head there." " Okay." "Watch your fault." " Yes, sir." "All free, sir." "Sound the alarm." "22 December, 1941." "Arrived Marinduque two hours after enemy air raid." "Repairs have to be completed before their next visit." "To get Lt. Holden out from underfoot..." "I sent him and his men to scout the island." "Captain." " Yes" "Mr. Holden is coming back, sir." "War is hell, Mr. Watson." "Not only that, sir." "Wait until you see what he's got with him." "Women!" "Wow!" "That's what I call scavenging!" "I..." "What I meant sir is  I'm sure there will be something they can be used for." "I can think of many uses, but not here and now." "Mr. Stovall, the influence of Lt. Holden is beginning to worry me." "I suggest you "Wow!" less and "Tsk Tsk Tsk" more..." "Mayor Heywood." " Major Heywood." "Lieutenant Duran." " Lieutenant Duran." "Lieutenant Reid." " Lieutenant." "Lieutenant." "Colfax." "Lieutenant." "Lieutenant Crandall." "If anyone asks what you're fighting for  there's your answer." "Lt. Holden invited us to go with you." "What?" "The Major and her unit were stranded, sir." "We were en route to Manila and heard it was being bombed  and we had to land here." " Oh." "The Japanese strafed the airstrip and... our plane took off to keep from being destroyed on the ground." "He was supposed to come back for us." "Alright." " it didn't make it." "They were the only Americans on the island, sir..." "You could not possibly leave them there." "Thank you." "It's an emergency, sir." " Thank you, Mr. Holden." "Now, Major, obviously we have to get out of here as fast as we can, so... if you'll get your party below, I'll get you to Cebu  where you can rejoin an Army unit." "Escort the Major to the wardroom." " Yes, sir." "Thank you, Lieutenant." "Thank you, ma'am." " This way, ladies." "I guess I'm stuck." " Yes" "Just a minute." "Come on." "That's right." "Thank you very much." " Suggest you take the other one off." "Sir." "Mr. Holden, just a minute." "Mr. Watson!" " Yes, sir?" "Please assemble the crew." "Instruct them to ignore that our passengers are women." "That may require some... readjustment... but I want every man to understand... our objective is Cebu and then Darwin." "If any man has any other objective in mind... he'd better forget it." "You will put on report..." "Collision!" "Collision, sir!" " Really... we're not even moving." "Who hit the collision button?" " I do not know, sir." "Everything has a reason for being here..." "What happened?" " I'm very sorry." "I was coming down the ladder and accidentally touched that button." "She grabbed the collision alarm." "Just a minute." "Please, ladies, there is one primary rule you must observe:. ." "keep your hands..." "and... you're, uh..." "Just do not touch anything." "The ladies will occupy the Chief's quarters and my cabin." "The Chiefs move out with the men." "Move my gear with Watson and you stay with Holden." "Now, uh..." "For the next few days we'll be living in close contact... and you being women... and... the crew being men, being confined could... could create situations..." "not usually... consistent with normal submarine operations." "What I mean to say." " We know what you mean, Captain." "We're well acquainted with the facts of life." "So are the men." "I'm just trying to avoid any exchange of information." "You must..." "You must realize that... submarines are not designed to be coeducational." "... That is to say..." "Mr. Stovall, take the ladies to the wardroom." "I'll try to work out a schedule." " Yes, sir." "You'll eat in the officers' mess." "Mealtimes are 7:00, 12:00 and 18:00." "Now, this is the shower." "Excuse me." "Instructions are on the bulkhead." "Your shower period will be 6:30 to 6:50." "You will each have a minute and a half." "A minute and a half?" "Captain 's orders, there are problems with fresh water supply." "How can you shower in a minute and a half?" "What you miss one day you can get the next time around." "In here is what we in the Navy call..." "It's operated by means of the air compression levers..." "What do they call it?" "The head." "I've drawn a complete diagram." "I'm sure you will have no trouble." "Why do they call it the head?" "Doesn't say." "A woman on board is bad luck, sir  and if one is bad luck, imagine five." "Alright, what do you want me to do?" "Throw them overboard?" "It 's something to think about." "Do what you can, okay?" "Hunkle, what 's going on in there?" "It's a raffle, they're drawing for the women." "They're drawing for the women?" "Mr. Holden organized it." "They're picking the five lucky men now." "Kraus." "Congratulations." "What did you give away?" "What's going on?" " A raffle, sir." "What kind of raffle?" "For clothing." " Clothes?" "Yes." "The men are donating their clothes to the women." "Have you men finished chow?" " Yes, sir." "Then back on the job." "We have to get out of here." "Mr. Holden." " Yes, sir." "How did all that get started?" "I thought I was boosting the men's morale, sir  after all there's a practical side ;... these women have been on an island for quite a while  their clothes are all messed up." "Sooner or later they will have to wash them..." "With everything hanging on the line and nothing hanging on the..." "You see, sir, it could be rather awkward." "Yes." "Carry on, Lieutenant." " Thank you." "I wish I had a decent mirror." "Why the Navy still use that silly clasp?" "We just found out it's tradition  each button represents one of the original thirteen states." "Well you better button up New Jersey." "How's the shirt?" " A little tight." "I'd better reinforce those buttons before you take a deep breath." "The Navy's got to have some thread, come on." "Hello." " Hi." "What's wrong?" "Kraus does absolutely nothing for you." "You don't put the crown jewels in a paper bag." "Come." "Where are we going?" "But I 'm happy with these pants." "Barbara, they just won't do." "Let me see." "They're not uncomfortable." " Barbara, will you stop being nervous?" "I'm not nervous." " Well, of course you're nervous." "This is part of my job;" "I'm your Supply Officer." "But I do not need..." " 35-22-34?" "Then you've got these supplies before." "Let's see..." "" Shorts "." "Do you play tennis?" "Well, I..." " Here's a tennis sweater  a shirt  a nice robe, clean  and also a pair of pyjamas." "Well, I..." " Excuse me." "Hello." "Stovall, aren't you on watch?" "Yes." "I was just on my way up." "Excuse me." "Good night." "Now where were we?" "Oh yes." "I think you ought to try these on for size." "Lieutenant, I appreciate the offer but I can not take your pyjamas." "Why not?" "Well frankly, it's a little embarrassing." "A girl does not get into any man's pyjamas." "If the man's not in them, what's the harm?" "And what are you going to sleep in?" "All right, we'll compromise:. ." "I'll take the bottoms..." "And you can have the tops... unless you prefer... ..." " The top will be fine." "What else can I give you?" "Champagne." "Under the heading of supplies, too?" " No." "You see, I am also Morale Officer." "You know, it's against regulations to have this on board" "If we do not drink it, I will have to pour it out." "All we need is a couple of glasses and some ice." "Now look, we can't..." "Ramon!" "Yes, sir?" "Thank you." " Hello." "Good night." "I'm ready to relieve you, sir." "You're an hour early, Mr. Stovall." "I couldn't sleep and figured I might as well come up." "Where are your binoculars?" "In my room." "Okay, carry on." "I'll send them up." "No, I'll go get them, sir." "You've just relieved Mr. Watson." " But you can't do that." "And why can't I do that?" "Well, because..." " Just what can't I do?" "Go to the room." " Why I can't I go to the room?" "Because Mr. Holden is sleeping." "I'll try not to wake him." "No!" "I mean, is, that he..." "He has company." " He's sleeping and he has company?" "Hello." " Hello." "What are we celebrating?" "Lieutenant Holden was just giving me his clothes." "That's worth drinking to, but unfortunately regulations..." "Right." "I think I'd better be going." "Thank you." " Certainly." "Good night, sir." " Good night." "Where did you pick up the champagne?" " Captain Henderson's office." "I thought it was better that he keep a clear head." "Very thoughtful of you." "Now I have this unreasonable desire to get back in the war." "Yes, I know, sir." "I'd prefer to do it as captain of a fighting ship not a cocktail bar." "As of this moment the cocktail lounge  is closed, sir." " Yes." "No customers after hours." " Absolutely not." "Fine." "That's the idea." "Kraus." "Yes?" "Which one touched your clothes?" "I don't know." "But I sure hope it's the one with the big..." "Knock it off." " What's the matter with you?" "Quit talking about her that way." "She's a woman." " So?" "Well my mother is a woman." " So?" "I do not know, it just all seems to tie in somehow." "Good morning." " Good morning." "I'm having a little trouble." "I can't get it to work..." "I think there is something wrong with that shower head." "Try this." " Captain..." "I'd like to apologize for setting off the collision alarm." "That's all right." "Tell me, did you follow the instructions?" "Yes, I turned this knob ... and this one  and then this." "At least I think that's what I did." " Yes, that's what you did." "Oh dear." " That's okay." "let me dry you off." " No, please." "Good morning." " Good morning." "That's a clever shower schedule you've got worked out, sir." "... Conserves water, too." "Lt. Crandall was having difficulty." " Sir, it's your boat." "Excuse me." "It's just as well it didn't work." "I left my dusting powder in my room." "Your dusting powder." " Would you hold that for me?" "Be right back." "Terrible." "Good morning, sir." "Good morning." " Can I get you anything?" "Yes, anything." " Yes, sir." "My dusting powder." " I see." "Excuse me." " Yes, of course." "Wait, Captain." "Sir!" " What is it?" "There's a woman in my engine room." "You have to get her out." " Who?" "The Major." "She washed her clothes and hung them there to dry." "It's bad luck to have a woman in the engine room." "Tostin, what harm can their clothes do?" "That's when they're dangerous, like snakes... when they shed their skin..." "look out." "Can I have my scrubber please?" "Yes, here you go." "Thank you." " You're welcome." "Tostin, they have to dry their clothes somewhere  and yours is the most logical place." "Deal with it as best you can." "Yes, Captain." " Carry on." "Sailor." " Yes, ma'am." "Tell me when these are dry." "I'm a machinist mate, I ain't a  laundry sailor." "Sailor." " Yes, ma'am." "Please try not to knock anything down  I wouldn't want it to land on this dirty floor." "What's dirty?" " The whole engine room." "Look at that grease." "If you was bombed and sunk and pulled up by your stern... you'd be a little greasy too." "Sailor." "Lady!" " You'll never get it to work that way." "Why don't you go and roll some bandages?" "What do you know about machinery?" " I was raised with it." "My father was Chief Engineer at the Seattle power plant." "That would work if you'd install a new valve spring." "My father was a Chief Engineer... ." "I'm trying to make do with something that doesn't belong on a submarine  and you can't install a new valve spring if you ain't got it." "Now, will you get out of here?" "You're talking to an officer." "Maybe Congress made you an officer, but God made you a woman  and a woman shouldn't mess around with a man's machinery." "For the last time, get out, will you?" "Good morning, sir." "Can I pour you a cup of coffee?" "Never mind, I'll attend to it." "Go and shower." " Yes, sir." "Have the women finished breakfast?" " Yes, sir." "Pardon me." "I left my cigarette here." "Have you seen it?" "Perhaps?" "Oh, I'm terribly sorry." "Oh, that's alright, Lieutenant." "I enjoy a cigarette with my coffee." "Oh, thanks." "Is that all you're having for breakfast?" "I'm a little nervous." "I don't feel much like eating." "Captain, I hope you do not mind a little professional advice but... when a person is nervous and irritable... you can be assured that something is missing in their life." "Vitamins and minerals." " Vitamins and minerals." "With an appropriate nutritional balance, you wouldn't have any gray hair." "I like having gray hair, so I can worry without it showing." "I used to be just like you." " What, gray hair?" "No." "I was run down and poor appetite." " Yes?" "Then I started taking these pills that I have here  and they really built me up." " No question about it." "All you have to do is take one every three hours." "You are very kind, I appreciate the offer  but I'm busy man and would forget." " I'll remind you." "You're the Captain and it would be bad if you got sick too." "Sick too!" "Who's sick?" "Most of the men." "Lieutenants Colfax and Reid are taking care of them." "Lt. Crandall, excuse me." "You look pretty good to me." " I don't feel so good." "Stomach, and I feel dizzy." " Hold still." "Lie down over there." "Keep that under your tongue." "All right." " Just go over there." "Right." "Now, what's the matter with you?" "Williams." " I've got a headache and my back hurts..." "What's wrong?" "I don't know, sir." "I feel terrible." "You smell good." "What about you, Harmon?" "I have shooting pains in my head, sir." "Probably fumes from that hair tonic." " Yes, sir." "And you, Fox." "What have you got on?" "It's called " Surrender ", sir." "My mother sent it to me." "Break it up." "Neutralize that cologne with a some perspiration." "Even our pharmacist's mate." "What's the matter, Dooley?" "He seems to have..." " Just a minute." "I don't know, sir." "I only hope I can last the day out." "Up, Dooley!" "Thank you, ladies." "We won't be needing you any more." "The epidemic is over." "Lieutenant Crandall." " You forgot your vitamins." "Thank you very much." "I'll remind you when it's time for the next one." "Yes." "Sir." "Lieutenant Crandall, I..." "Mr. Watson." " Yes, sir?" "Pass the word to the crew." "When Lt. Crandall - you know Lt. Crandall?" "When Lt. Crandall walks through any part of the boat, give clear passage." "Right, sir." " How's Mr. Holden coming with the torpedoes?" "I decided he would make better headway if he read the basic submarine manual first." "It's in his cabin reading." " Good." "Am I going down right?" " That's right." "Is she going down right?" " She sure is." "Good morning." " Good morning." "Mr. Holden is explaining how everything works." "He's been explaining?" " We're just on our way to the engine room." "I 'm afraid Mr. Holden won't be able to maneuver this morning." "Don't you have a book to read?" " Yes, I'm on Chapter Five:. ." "... "Care and Operation of the Bilge Pump"" " All right." "I can't wait to see how it turns out." "You'll like it." "It turns out happily;" "they get each other in the end." "Engine Room to Captain." "What is it, Tostin?" "Either her or me in this engine room!" "I'll be right there." "It works." "You're just to stubborn to admit it." "Get that thing out of my engine room!" "Look, Major - enough is enough..." " What's going on?" "Look at what she did, sir." "It's only temporary until we make a valve spring." "We?" "What do you mean we?" " I will design it and you can make it up." "Excuse me." " Sure." "What are you going to do, sir?" "I don't know." "It works, doesn't it?" "But I'm here all day and that thing going up and down  that's indecent." " Well." "Engine room." "Is the Captain there?" " What is it, Molumphry?" "Better come up to the yeoman's office, sir." " What's wrong?" "Lieutenant Reid just hit Hunkle." "Hit Hunkle?" "I'll be right there." "Hit Hunkle." "What are you to do about her?" " Keep an eye on it, Tostin." "I'm sure it wasn't intentional, ma'am." "I know, but I've never seen anything like that in a man." "Mr. Hunkle?" "I'm sorry." "That's all right, Lieutenant." "Sir." " What happened?" "It was nothing, really." " Then why did you hit him?" "It was my fault, sir ;" "I was changing my shirt..." "I went to borrow the typewriter." " I had my shirt off and she hit me." "It was a reflex action." "I was embarrassed and I..." "If you'll excuse me." "Hunkle, keep that pinup covered, I've got enough troubles." "Yes, sir." " Captain, torpedo room calling the Captain." "What is it, Harmon?" " What do I do with Lt. Colfax?" "What's wrong?" "She's dizzy, sir." "I think she's getting seasick." "She insists she's got the bends." "I'll be right there." "Excuse me, please." " Yes" "It's amazing how compact everything is." "On a sub you have to operate in close quarters." "I think we better be going." " Going where?" "Well, Nick, haven't you got some reading to do?" "How old are you, Barbara?" "Twenty-four." "A very nervous twenty-four." "Look at yourself." "You're tense." "Your pulse is beating fast and your hands are cold." "We've got to do something about all this tension." "I'm afraid that the cure might be worse than the disease." "Barbara, you're a nurse, you know it is with people." "They're like that teapot;  build a fire under it, pressure builds  and has to be relieved." "Mr. Holden, return to your quarters." " Yes, sir." "Captain, it wasn't his fault  I encouraged him." "Lieutenant  the last thing the men on this boat need is encouragement." "Major, if you can't control your women, lock them up." "What happened?" "He caught us." "Doing what?" "Nick kissed me." "Oh?" " And I kissed him back." "Don't you think you're rushing things?" "Love underwater is fine for a fish, but  shouldn't you wait until you come up for air?" "Major, my mother had a very simple outlook on life." "She always said : "never worry about getting married... someday you'll turn the right corner and meet the right man. "" "It isn't that easy." "I've been turning corners for twenty-four years." "You know, I think I finally turned the right one?" "Why go back out in that crowd and get lost again?" "Baby, if you're right, I'm in more trouble than I figured." "You're 24 and I'm 38." "You know, I might not be able to make it to the next corner?" "Mister..." "You've used that uniform for everything but what the government intended." "Why you got the uniform is your concern  but what it does on this boat is my business." "From here on, if that uniform leaves this cabin, don't be in it." "You're confined to quarters." "Battle stations!" " Goodbye!" "Boy oh boy." "A sitting duck, sir." "A tanker." "A beaut." "Eight thousand tons at least." "She's riding low, sir." "That means she's still loaded." "Number three tube is operable, sir." "All we need is one shot." "This boat wasn't meant to be a virgin, sir." "Eight thousand tons." "Let's go duck hunting." "Down scope." "Load torpedo tube three." " Load torpedo tube three." "Bearing." "Mark." " Zero-two-six." "Range." "Mark." " Two-three-double-oh." "Down scope." "Fire at 1500 yards." "Tube number three ready, sir." "Outer door closed." "Generated range: two-one-double-oh." "Open outer door tube three." " Open outer door tube three." "Open outer door tube three." "Tube number three ready, sir." " One-nine-double-oh." "Final range." "Mark." " One-eight-double-oh." "Stand by tube three." " Stand by tube three." "Captain, it's time for your vitamin." " Lieutenant, get below." "Damn it, get below!" "Have I done anything wrong?" "What happened, sir?" "We sunk a truck!" "Let's get the hell out of here!" "Right full rudder." "All ahead two thirds." "Take her down to 100 feet." "23 December, 1941." "Sighted tanker, sank truck." "For the first time in my life, I came close to hitting a woman." "Perhaps I'm giving way to hysteria  but can Lt. Crandall possibly be a Japanese agent?" "Tomorrow we'll be in Cebu and they'll be the Army's problem." "I'm sorry, Commander." "They are your problem." "I can not take responsibility for those women  not without the proper orders." "Couldn't we forget regulations this once, Colonel?" "Commander, any time the Japanese are ready, they can overrun this island." "We've been ordered to coordinate guerrilla action in the hills." "We may be up there for years." "Do you really want us to take those women?" "We'll keep them." "Sir, we will need to see your Quartermaster to get these  supplies to make our repairs." "Supplies?" "Let me give you a picture of the situation;... this cigar... belonged to my aide, Captain Hopkins." "I stole it while he was sleeping." "Everything worth saving has been taken up into the hills." "Can I can send some men into the hills then?" "You couldn't get a paper clip with a requisition from the President." "Without those supplies we won't get out of here." " Sorry, I wish I could help." "Alright." "Good luck, gentlemen!" "We've got to get those supplies!" " I know, I know." "Sorry!" "Oh boy!" " Give him a hand." "Major, you and your friends will remain aboard." "Sir!" "Sir!" "There is only one man who can do the job, you know who." "Yes, yes." "I know." "Mr. Holden." "Yes, sir?" "I'm restoring you to duty." "We're having difficulty, I have to have those supplies." "That's quite a list, sir." "I won't bore you with the problems of command;" "I doubt you'll ever have one." "It's inconsistent with the philosophy of "every man for himself"." ""Dog-eat-dog. "" " Exactly." "The most unfortunate thing about command... is that responsibilities outweigh the privileges." "If it was just myself, I would tell what to do with that list." "But my responsibility is this boat." "To get it out of here I'd make a pact with the devil." "That's where I come in." " That's right." "Unless you get these supplies, you'll never get back to that girl with the railway stock." "That's a pretty good argument." " I thought it would convince you." "Okay." "Auxiliary induction gear;" "generator coils; red lead..." "Ramon!" "Hunkle!" "Do you need this?" "A priming pump?" " Is that what it is?" "Worth a hundred fifty dollars." " For this?" "Here's two hundred dollars." " Oh, thank you." "What do you want for this?" "Twenty." " Take twenty-five." "Hunkle!" "You'll have to get in line like the rest of the guys." "But I have gray paint in the truck outside." "Twenty-four five-gallon cans." "What about the red lead?" " Two cans." "That's all there is on the island." "We need at least twenty." "I can get them white lead." " We'll take it." "How much?" "Not a nickel less than three hundred." "Three hundred?" "He drives a hard bargain!" "Here's three hundred, and fifty dollars on the house." "Kraus!" "Unload the paint and steal the truck." "Excuse me, sir." " Wait a minute." "We don't have any money, how will we pay if someone wins?" "With those tables and those dealers?" "Master inverted reducing valve." "Two hundred and fifty dollars." "Next!" "What you have you got, son?" "Carry on." "31 December, 1941." "Holden has reached new heights in the art of scavenging." "Like a spider in a web, he sits there  and their victims come to him like flies bearing gifts." "He is the only man I know... who will probably be presented the Navy Cross at his court martial." "Chief, this is a terrible color." " It makes me kind of sick." "More canned fish." "Yes." "What a way to celebrate New Year's Eve." "Sir..." "We're mixing those paints..." "but I don't think you're going to like it." "We don't have much choice." "We haven't enough of either one to do the whole job." "It's a pretty strange color to paint government property." "Don't let it throw you, Mo." "We're going to color gray anyway." " Yes, sir." "Mr. Holden wasn't at the casino." "Mr. Stovall... hereafter you will refer to the casino as the supply depot." "Where did he go?" "He and Hunkle took off in the truck, They're not expected back until late." "Boy, that casino is really..." "I mean  seems to be a lot of activity at the supply depot, sir." "Hunkle, did you see what I saw?" "I don't know, sir." "What?" "Come on." "That's New Year's dinner." " That?" "We're going to shop around." "Come on." "What do we do?" "No, that's not quite right." "The white one!" "That's what I call a pig." "I'll go around the back." "Go in the front and distract him." "And how do I do that?" "Talk pig talk." " How do you talk pig talk?" "Didn't you talk pig when you were a kid?" "No, too high." "Low, deep in your throat." "That's too deep." "Right in the middle." "Now with affection." "Okay, call the pig." "Look, there he is." "Get behind him." "Behind him!" "Hurry!" "Open the cab!" "Open the door, come on!" "Come on!" " Looks like a wheelbarrow." "Come on, Hunkle, grab him!" "Lift him up!" "Grab him!" "Get in!" "Get in!" "Grab him!" " Okay." "What are they stopping for?" "It's a roadblock." "What are we going to do?" "I don't know." "Let's take a look." "Cover us, Bayle." "They're shooting looters, you know?" " I know." "Let's not panic." "What about the pig?" "What pig?" " What pig?" "This pig!" "I don't see any pig." " You don't see any pig?" "Take off your coat." "Take off my coat?" " Take off your coat." "Are you out of... ." "Put it on the pig." "Put it on the pig?" " Put it on the pig!" "Do you have a cap?" "Do you have a cap?" " Yes, sir." "Take it off!" "Give me the cap!" "Give it to me!" "Hold him!" "Stay here, Bill, and keep me covered." "Good evening, Corporal." " What are you doing out here?" "I'm Lieutenant Holden, off the "Sea Tiger"." "We're tied up for repairs." "We were out trying to locate some spare diesel parts." "What is that?" "That's Seaman Hornsby." "How are you feeling, Seaman Hornsby?" "He's not too well." " What's the matter with him?" "Well, he drinks  "Gilly juice" you know?" "The alcohol from the torpedoes." "Easy, sailor." "I think we're going to have to get him back to the boat." "If anything happens to him we're in an awful lot of trouble." "You see, he's the only radio operator we have." "Easy, Hornsby." " He doesn't look too good." "No." " You'd better let us take him to the hospital." "No, no." "That's not necessary." "We have a doctor on board." "Well, you'd better get this man to your doctor." " All right." "Thank you." "Happy New Year, Corporal." " Let them pass." "Who were they?" " Three sailors off a submarine." "Guy named Hornsby was sick, you should have seen him." "Now I know why they call submarines "pig boats"." "Man, he was the ugliest." "Oh, Captain... a couple of Army MPs out here want to see you." "MPs?" " MPs." "Okay, okay." "Sir, this man claims that your men stole a pig from his farm." "The biggest one he had, and drove off in a truck;..." "The only truck that passed us tonight was headed for this boat." "That's ridiculous, Corporal." "None of my men would..." "Is Lieutenant Holden back?" " I do not know, sir." "Who?" "Corporal." "Good evening, sir." " Watson." "Lt. Holden was one of the men on the truck." "He had two other men with him..." "A Hunkle and Seaman Hornsby." "Seaman Hornsby?" "Yes, sir, he was drunk." "They were bringing him back to the boat." "Where is Seaman Hornsby?" "He's not feeling too well, sir." " I didn't ask you that." "Where is he?" "He's been drinking." " Where is he?" "In the officer's head." "Just a minute." "Well, the man is right." "Undoubtedly his pig was stolen." "You might as well admit it, Mr. Holden ;..." "When Hornsby runs wild there's no telling what he might do." "He behaves like a perfect swine." "Look, Corporal, he's in no condition to be reprimanded tonight... but I can assure you that tomorrow he's in for a good roasting!" "I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid we'll have to take him in." "Now wait a minute, Corporal." "Sometimes there is a reason for drinking  You see, Hornsby's been picked for a dangerous assignment  and there is not much chance that he will come through it alive." "Gee, I..." " I knew you would understand." "If this man want to drop the charges..." "I'm sure something can be arranged." "How much is the pig worth?" "He won't take American money with the Japanese coming." "One moment." "Your pig's not down there." "Hey..." "If you won't take American money I don't see how we are going to..." "You like that?" "You would like to have that?" "Okay." "I do not understand very well, we'll see." "I think he said he likes the bag." "You like the bag?" "Good leather, but he does not know what to do with those things." "Well, we can make a deal." " But sir, that was a gift... from the admiral's wife." " Public Relations." "Fair enough?" "He said that his pig is worth more." "No." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "You couldn't possibly..." " See if you like this." "But sir, you can't." "I have..." " Do you like?" "Sir, I need that for my tennis shoulder." "Your tennis shoulder?" " Yes" "Well, we can take care of that." "Now you don't need it for your tennis shoulder." "Now, what about it?" "Oh, yes." " What did he say?" "He said that his pig weighed two hundred pounds." "And it is not enough." " I see." "That's it, yes." "It's a shame." " Just a minute." "Get back." "Let's see here." "Yes, this." "Sir, that's solid silver." "Still not enough?" "Let's look here..." "Oh, these!" "Non-regulation!" "Saks Fifth Avenue." "Well?" "Put it on your face." "Shoes!" "Shoes." "Yes." " Not my Supadance." "Sir, please." "These are your dancing shoes, aren't they?" " Yes." "Do you like to dance?" "Dance?" "He likes to dance, perfect." "Is that enough?" "Goodbye." "Here, just a moment." "Here's gift for you." "That's to go with the shoes; a little bonus." "Well." "Very thoughtful of you to offer dinner for the men." "I'm sure they'll appreciate it." "I suggest you get Hornsby out of uniform and help him to the galley." "So am I." "Yes, they're drafting everybody these days." "Pink!" "Twenty-five years I've been in the Navy  and I've never seen nothing like this." "A pink submarine." "All right, you guys, you have three hours to have a Happy New Year." "But at 17:00 every man on this crew starts painting her gray!" "This pork is great." "Aren't you going to have any, sir?" "No, Hornsby and I have been through too much together." "Captain, can I talk to you?" " Yes, Major." "It's about Dolores." "I can't get her to come up here." "She says that you'd rather she didn't." "She's tried to apologize, but you won't even talk to her." "She thinks that you've been avoiding her." " Only in self-defence." "She's scared to death of you." "It's New Year's, Captain." "The poor girl is down there all by herself." "It would be nice if you would go down and invite her up." "All right, Major, I'll extend a personal invitation." "Isn't this a lovely shade of pink." "Please ma'am, I'm trying to eat." "Throw me a pickle." " The first time I met her..." "Mr. Tostin, was..." " Chief." "I was thinking that if you cross connect the engine cooling system... and the mufflers you could drown out those sparks." "The engine cooling system and the mufflers?" "Are you crazy?" "Hey, you know that might work." "Would you like some pork, Major?" "Thank you." "Captain." " What?" "I've looked up and down this boat and I can't find Mr. Holden." "Or Barbara, er, Lieutenant Duran." " No kidding!" "And number three life raft is missing." " Fancy that!" "Well, if they're gone and the number three..." " One moment, Watson, listen  Have you ever been to Las Vegas?" "Because up there the boys would say that you're trying to make your point the hard way." "When a girl is under twenty one she is protected by law." "When she is over sixty five, she is protected by nature." "Any where in between - she's fair game." "Put that away." "May I come in?" " Yes, of course." "Why aren't you at the party?" "I really didn't think that you wanted me there." "I would probably do something out of line and you would be angry." "Captain, you may not believe this ... but all of those things that happened were accidents." "I'm sure they were." "Lieutenant, if I've been short-tempered, I want to apologize  my only excuse is that things haven't been going well and I'm edgy." "Why not finish your hair while I wait?" "Then we can go up together and celebrate." "Is that all right?" " Yes." "Let's forget everything that happened and start the New Year off right." "You can" " Ahhhh!" "You'll be a wonderful father." " Father?" "When you get married." " Sure." "Genetically you have very dominant characteristics..." "Really?" "Dark hair, blue eyes." " What is this?" "Three of four children will look after you." "I know it won't be easy." " What won't be easy?" "Until we get settled." " But..." "But I'll help." " Help?" "With the expenses." "I'll get a job." "Expenses?" " Yes." "Barbara, I'm engaged to be married." "Now, Barbara, don't be hasty." "Let me explain." "It's a very simple thing to explain;..." "I've known that girl for quite a while..." " Get away!" "I thought to tell you now..." "Get away from me!" "You're not listening." "I'm going!" " Do not go!" "I'm going to the boat!" "I can explain everything!" "I'm going back to the boat!" " Please listen, apart from... ." "Barbara, wait!" "There are women-eating sharks!" "Barbara!" "Barbara, wait a minute!" "I don't think it's serious, sir, but, shouldn't one of the nurses look at it?" "Just bandage it, Dooley." " Yes, sir." "Happy new year!" "Barbara!" "Barbara!" "Will you... ?" "Barbara, will you get back in the raft?" "Will you get in the raft?" "Stop following me!" "Barbara!" "I wish you'd try to understand." "What if I did say I loved you?" "What if we got married?" "I'm poor." "You're poor." "All we'd get is poor children." "I don't think I should go to the party." " Oh yes, you should." "I demand you do." "You don't have to go just for me." "I can't think of anyone else I'd do it for;" "it's become sort of a need." "That's very kind of you." " Yes, isn't it?" "I mean is that you're such a gentleman." " Yes, that comes as a surprise to me, too." "Barbara!" "Barbara, will you..." "Will you listen to me?" "Barbara!" "Barbara, it's tiring rowing this way, will you wait?" "Barbara!" "You are a beautiful and intelligent girl, you should marry a wealthy man." "I'm no good for you, you don't want to marry me." "I'm doing you a favor." "Don't do me any more favors, mister." " Barbara, dear, would you..." "Oh shut up!" " Barbara!" "Barbara!" "Air raid!" "Man your stations!" "Air Raid!" "Clear the deck!" "Clear the deck!" "Get those women down!" "Let's get underway!" "Ready in all respects to get underway, sir." "Okay, I'll take charge." "Strike four." " Strike four." "Strike three." "Drop two." "Wait, what's going on here?" "Mr. Holden promised the dealers, sir." " Promised them what?" "You see, sir." "If they helped us, we'd take the women and children." "Most of the women are pregnant." " Yes, sir." "Any minute now, sir." "Isn't it lucky that we have the nurses aboard?" "I'm running a submarine, not a maternity ward!" "What's that thing doing here, that goat?" "It's for the children, sir." "Fresh milk." "I don't care, get them off the boat!" "Aircraft, port quarter!" "Closing!" "One moment." " Lieutenant promised..." "Go on, get them off!" "Here they come." "Get down!" "Ramon, take these women forward." "Get these kids down." "Come here." "Give me the goat." "Come on, goat." "Give me a hand." "Somebody get the kid." "Starboard back two thirds." " Starboard back two thirds." "I know it, I'm dead." "Cherry." "Clear the bridge!" " Clear the bridge!" "Number One." " Number Two." "Number Three." " Number Four." "Number Five." "Isn't there some way to sneak back to Cebu and pick up that gray paint?" "No, there is not." "But a pink submarine." "What if somebody sees us?" "It's embarrassing." "Mr. Stovall, does she have to be up here?" "Ramon said she would give more milk if she had fresh air, sir." "It's a boy!" "Congratulations, sir!" "3 January, 1942." "21:30." "Born to Mrs. Manuel Garcia - a boy." "22:55." "Mrs. Ceferino Vincenzo has gone into labor." "The whole crew are acting like expectant fathers;..." "Seaman Fox is even having sympathetic labor pains." "Cheer up, Fox, it will all be over soon." " Yes, sir." "Diapers." "For the baby, sir." " Really?" "Got you." "Yes, you got me, Harmon, now what?" "Excuse me, sir, playing blind man's buff with the kids." "Carry on." " Yes, sir." "Hi." " Hi." "How are you?" " Okay." "What do you know?" " Okay." "Okay." "Can I go through there?" " There's a woman in labor." "Yes, I know, but I have to go to the engine room." "If you do not mind." " I don't mind." "Come on." "Everything all right?" " Okay, okay, everything okay." "Tostin!" "Tostin!" "Me and the Major were just taking some measurements, sir." "Would you care to explain that?" "Fuel oil transfer pump." "Engine room." "Is the Captain there?" "What is it, Stovall?" " Kraus has the radio repeating, sir." "I'll be right up." "It looks like you were right, Edna." "We'll need some high pressure piping." "We can get it in the forward torpedo room." "Yes, that's right." "I'll get it, Sam." "You're quite a girl, Edna." "We picked up "Tokyo Rose", sir." "I have a message for the crew of the pink submarine cruising somewhere in the Celebes Sea." "Fellows, start the New Year off right." "Surrender." "We don't know what you're up to, but it won't work." "All you've done painting your sub pink is make it easier to find you." "... so, why die, boys?" "And now an appropriate number." "What do you think, sir?" "Well, we've got nothing to worry about." "... their side knows and our side knows." "There's probably some of our ships out looking for us now." "We've checked with British, Australian, and Dutch naval units, sir." "They have no pink submarines." " And it's certainly not one of ours." "Intelligence feels the "Tokyo Rose" broadcast is a decoy so they can slip one of their own subs through." "Well, this is one trick they won't get away with." "Notify all Allied naval units:" "Any unidentified submarine, pink or otherwise, is to be sunk on sight." "Sir." " What?" "A destroyer on the starboard bow." "It's one of ours." "How do you want to contact them, sir?" "Our radio still isn't transmitting." "Signal them." "Get Harmon to the conning tower." "Stand by to surface." "Submarine surfacing port bow!" "It's that pink sub!" "Surface action port!" " Surface action port!" "Fire when ready!" " Fire when ready!" "Jesus Christ!" "Take her down!" "Clear the bridge!" "Take her down, fast!" "Establish sonar contact." "All engines ahead full." "Stand by to fire depth charges." "Stand by to fire depth charges." "They're coming in for the kill, sir." "Rig for depth charges." "Silent running." "Excuse me." "Flooding on number two periscope." "Flooding number two periscope, sir." "Clear the conning tower." "Clear the conning tower." " Clear the conning tower." "Clearing below." "Get on the sound gear and report developments." " Yes, sir." "They don't have to hit us, sir." "They're going to shake us apart." "All stop." "All stop." "It's twins!" "One of each!" "Captain, Sonar says they're picking up something like babies crying." "That's what they say, sir." "Stay on that sound." " Stay on that sound." "They may have a weapon we know nothing about." "Keep them quiet." "That's an order." "What do you suggest we do?" " You are nurses." "Make them stop." "We're trying." " What is so difficult about keeping babies quiet?" "Oh, you try." "I can't." "I have to go back to the control room." "Here, try this one?" " Certainly." "Thank you." "You'll be a wonderful father." "Don't bother trying." "He's already engaged." "To a super chief." "Hunkle, get all these pillows and blankets." "What's up, Chief?" " The skipper's wants them to think we're sinking." "We're sending up an oil slick and everything that isn't tied down." "Give us a hand, Dooley." " Okay." "Sorry, ladies." "And these life jackets, sir?" " Might as well." "Throw them in." "Tube three ready to fire, sir." "Captain, look!" "We've sunk them." "Maybe." "Or they could be pulling a fast one." "Continue depth charges." " Continue depth charges." "They're not buying it." "They got your girdle, Edna." "That's all right, Sam." "You know?" "I spent a lot of years disliking women." "But I don't dislike you." "Really?" "You are different." "You're not a woman." "You're more than that." "You're a mechanic." "Thank you, Sam." "Just when somebody comes up with an idea how I can go home." "What idea, Hunkle?" " Lieutenant Reid, sir." "She figured out what I can do about Gertie." " Yes?" "Tattoo panties and a bra on her." " Oh, that's nice." "Panties and a bra." "Panties and..." "Sir, we've been sending up the wrong stuff!" "This is the Captain." "Nurses will return to their quarters and take off  their undergarments." " Mr. Holden will be right there to collect them." "Here." "Okay, lock it up." "Captain, off the port bow." "More debris." "That's debris?" "Stand by with a grappling hook!" "Come on, get that thing up here!" "Come on, come on!" "The Japanese have nothing like this." "Cease fire!" "Captain, this is going to be terrible." "We should have come in at night." "I'm afraid it's too late, Chief." "We're already committed." "Fall in." " Yes, sir." "All right." "Fall in!" "Sir, we're never going to live this down." "We may be pink and coming in by the grace of a woman's brassiere, but we're coming in." "Show the colors!" " Show the colors!" "Admiral." "The Captain's arriving, sir." "And we're ready get underway." "Thank you, Chief." "Chief, will you drive Mrs. Holden and the boys back?" "Thank you." "Bye, baby." "Bye, darling." " Bye, boys." "Attention on deck!" "Carry on." "Good morning, Admiral." " Morning, Captain." "Any last-minute reprieve?" " No go." "I hate to take her to the junkyard." " Yes, I know." "A new atomic submarine comes off the ways in a month;... its the same name... "Sea Tiger"." "It will be your next command." "That's great." "Thank you, sir." "Here's something else." "Did you put everything here?" " Yes, everything." "I feel it will be in safer hands now." " You know it will." "I suggest you don't show it to your children until they're old enough to understand." "All right, Nick, take her away." " Yes, sir." "By the way, where is my wife?" " I don't know." "She never showed." "Attention on deck!" "Okay, Jack." "Let's shove off." "Aye aye, sir." "Take in the brow!" "Take in all lines!" "Hi Uncle Matt." " Hello guys, how are you?" "What happened to her?" "We waited as long as we could and finally took a cab." "That must be her." "Yes, that's her." "Driver!" "The bumpers are hooked!" "Stop!" "Hey driver!" "Stop!" "Darling, I 'm terribly sorry." "I stepped on the brake..." " Leave it." "Never mind." "Yes, but your car..." " I know, dear." "Don't worry  they'll stop it at the gate." "Strange, still that number one engine  I guess they were never able to fix that."