"¶we'renotgonnatake it adult adam:" "Back in the '80s, mtvdidthiscrazything... ¶no,we ain'tgonnatake it ...Andactuallyplayed musicvideos." "¶we'renotgonnatake it theytaughtus thathugehair  anda sickguitarsolo... ¶anymore ...Couldturnameremortal intoa rockgod." "¶we'vegotthe right tochooseand" "¶thereain'tnoway we'llloseit" "So,likeallkids, Iformedan epicgarageband" "Withmybrother,barry." "¶..." "Thisis oursong" "Andwewerethe stuff oflegends." "(off-key) ¶we'renotgonnatake it" "Well,inourminds." "¶no,we 'renotgonna takeitanymore" "Thank you, philadelphia." "Good night!" "(feedback squeals)" "Okay,sowe weren't twistedsister," "Butwethoughtwewere ." "We're, like, guaranteed to be superstars." "I mean, I'm big tasty, the rapper who can rock a mike." "But I can also rock a guitar." "You know, if we're gonna be selling out mega-stadiums," "Maybe we should learn more than one song." "It's not about the music, okay?" "It's about the showmanship" "And pageantry and smoke machines" "And glitter cannons and giant hair and codpieces." "Seems a bit much." "Well, the front man gets all the ladies." "So I make all the decisions for barry and the hendersons." "I told you, our band name isn't gonna have "barry" in it." "Let's just put it on the board," "See what it looks like..." "Maybe we'll fall in love." "Sure,wehad ourcreativedifferences." "¶we'renotgonnatake it buttheonething wecouldagreeon" "Wasthatwe were thegreatestband thateverexisted." "Justaskourgroupies." "(off-key) ¶we'renotgonna takeitanymore" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "(laughs)" "Thank you, veterans stadium!" "Good night!" "Wow." "(gasps)" "Sounds like nobody's gonna take it." "Mission accomplished!" "Yes!" "Oh, you're so awesome!" "You remind me of my other favorite band..." "Kiss." "No, no, no, no!" "Stop, stop!" "¶I 'mtwistedup inside" "¶butnonetheless Ifeeltheneedtosay" "¶I don'tknowthe future" "¶butthepastkeepsgetting clearereveryday¶" "Adult adam:" "Itwasmid-summer, 1980-something," "Andamericahad itslatestobsession..." "Theroyalwedding." "Andnoonewas moreinto  princechuckandladydi thanmymom." "Mmm!" "That prince charles." "Imagine what it's like to be married" "To someone so regal and majestic." "Hey, bevy, what kind of mustard do I like?" "You like ketchup." "We have company." "Put on pants or leave." "Yeah." "You win this round." "Guess we can't all have prince charles, huh?" "Oh, hush." "He may not be the biggest fan of slacks," "But murray can be very romantic." "Trust me. (chuckles)" "Charles and diana got nothing on our wedding." "Wow." "I want to see pictures, wedding pictures, right now." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." "They're all packed away in the attic." "Here's the album." "Thank you, janice." "Thank you for chiming in." "Huh." "Now, tell me why murray is sitting down during your vows." "He got woozy." "Big day, low blood sugar." "He ate a plum." "It was fine." "Listen, we all have things about our wedding" "That we'd like to redo, right?" "That's why the hubby and I decided" "To renew our vows last year." "You what, now?" "Just an intimate ceremony." "You know, some friends and family" "And a band, some cake." "You can have a second wedding?" "No!" "Come on." "It'll just be a little ceremony." "Marriage is not like a magazine subscription." "You don't have to keep renewing it." "Well, you do if you want to keep the magazine." "Well..." "This magazine right here," "You get for free for the rest of your life." "How do you like that?" "You don't want to do this?" "Fine." "How'd you make tears so fast?" "They're always there," "Lying in wait, because I feel so deeply." "Fine!" "You wore me down." "He said yes!" "He said yes!" "Adult adam:" "While my mother couldn'twaitto  renewhervows," "Mysisterwasdoing somewaitingof herown ." "(groans) just stop talking and play the bangles already." "I know!" "It's music television!" "They should just play videos and nothing else." "Backthen,youcouldn'tjust  pullupyourfavoritesong  witha clickon youtube." "Youactuallyhadtosit..." "Play the video!" "...Andwaitandwait untilthatonegloriousmoment" "Whenyourfavoritevideo finallycameon ." "(both squealing)" "Andnothingwouldstopyou fromsingingalong." "¶closeyoureyes" "¶giveme yourhand, darl...¶" "(tv zaps)" "No!" "No!" "I will kill you!" "I am not kidding." "I will go to jail." "I will do my time." "I may come out a different person, but it'll be worth it!" "Forget the lame-ass chick music." "I'm cordially inviting you out to the garage" "To hear a real band." "This..." "This is for you, girl." "I..." "Pick..." "You." "Adult adam:" "Yep, barry had becomeobsessed" "Witherica'sbestfriend, lainey," "Eversinceshekissedhim ina momentof  incrediblypoorjudgment." "I'll dedicate a jam to you, girl." "Just come to one of our gigs." "In the garage?" "No." "Are we done with this horrible interaction?" "Because there's a tv upstairs." "Let's go!" "Toobadlaineydidn'tfeel  thesameway." "Ah, she's good." "Acting all, "I don't like you."" "I think that's 'cause she doesn't like you." "Aw, sweet, naive baby child." "She's just playing hard to get." "It's obvious I'm all she thinks about." "It's not that obvious." "(chuckles)" "It's all a part of the game of love, my brother." "And once we're topping the charts, she'll change her tune." "Man!" "I can't wait to be famous." "All the kids at school who call me a nerd" "Are gonna beg to be my best friend." "And I'll buy a ferrari for every day of the week." "And I will have every garbage pail kid ever made." "And chuck norris will be my personal trainer" "Till his wife falls in love with me and it gets awkward." "And I'll buy bubbles the chimp from michael jackson" "And give him a new name with dignity," "Like william or professor bananas." "And charles barkley will beg me to join the sixers." "And we'll live in a mansion in miami," "And gloria estefan and the miami sound machine will be our neighbors." "And we're gonna paint the name of the band on the roof" "So everyone can see it from the sky!" "We'll be rock gods." "There's only one way to get there." "We got to get ourselves a gig." "Sowedidwhatanybanddoes whentheyneedabigbreak ." "Weaskedourmommy." "(feedback squeals)" "Yeah." "That's gonna be a polite pass." "What?" "What?" "You never say no to us!" "Yeah!" "We're your delicious snuggle monsters." "I don't think she understands." "Giveus thethingwe want!" "Love to." "But can't." "(inhales sharply)" "Joke!" "She's kidding." "You're hired." "Yes!" "I knew we were amazing." "We charge 200 bucks, non-negotiable." "Dad, I thought we agreed on dueling harpists." "We'll have them play one song at the very end." "The noise will sober everybody up for the drive home." "It's money well spent." "I told you you didn't have to pay for all this." "Stop." "What does my princess want?" "Well, I do have a few ideas. (chuckles)" "I'm thinking ice sculptures and a horse-drawn carriage" "And, um, oh, those carving stations" "Where they have the different meats" "And then you point at the meats, and they give you the meats." "You want meats, you got meats." "(chuckles) "wedding binder"?" "Isn't this what you have when the wedding is real?" "Just shut up and let me do this." "All you have to do is write your vows." "Go." "How about, instead," "I go up and clean out the gutters" "Like you've been nagging me to do?" "There's your romance." "Write your vows." "Adult adam:" "For my dad, thatwashisdefinition ofnofun." "This is gonna be so much fun!" "Okay." "Barry told us about the $200." "Let's do this." "Whoa, whoa." "What's happening?" "Good news." "The girls are joining the band." "Barryignored thecardinalrule ofbeingin aband." "Lainey." "Heletagirl comebetweenus ." "You could share my mike." "It's great for duets." "Your breath smells like cat food." "I can assure you, it's people food." "What..." "We're a two-man band." "I'm not splitting our appearance fee with them." "Think about it." "What's better than performing for her?" "Performing with her." "Now we'll make sweet music together," "And she won't be able to deny her feelings for me." "But it's supposed to be you and me!" "It is just you and me..." "And them." "You know what would be so cool?" "If we did an all-acoustic set." "Totally!" "That is a great idea, lainey!" "Adam, take five." "Let's brainstorm." "Do you have any band names, lainey?" "Ooh." "How about the gal pals?" "Nailed it!" "Never!" "Adult adam:" "As my band waswritingme off," "Mydadwasbusy writinghisvows." "¶I betwe 'vebeentogether fora millionyears" "¶andI'llbet  we'llbetogether..." "Okay,so,he wasn'twriting." "Hewaswatchinghis favorite tvshow,familyties." "¶whatwouldwedo,baby,  withoutus?" "Adult adam:" "Likeallshowsatthetime," "Itwasonlyasgood  asitsopeningthemesong ." "¶sha-la-la-la¶ beverly:" "Murray!" "(tv shuts off)" "(remote clatters) (footsteps approaching)" "Are you watching tv?" "No, no, no, no, no." "I'm just sitting in my writing chair," "Letting the ideas flow from my pen." "You're gonna love what I got." "It's blank." "Yeah, I got it all up here, baby." "I know exactly what I want to say." "Let's hear it." "Right now." "Right now?" "You want to pre-hear" "The special vows I wrote special?" "Who does that?" "Me." "Go." "Adult adam:" "Mydadknewhejust had tospeakfromthe heart" "Orthenextbestthing..." "Quoteanepicthemesong ." ""I bet we've been together for a million years." ""and I bet we'll be together for a million more." ""it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed."" "Mydadcouldn'tremember ourbirthdays," "Butherememberedeverydamn  wordofthatthemesong ." "(chuckling) "what would we do, baby..." ""without us?" ""sha-la-la-la."" "That..." "Was..." "Amazing!" "(both laugh)" "You love me so much!" "I really do." "Oh!" "(smooches) I really do." ""sha-la-la-la."" "Oh, I cannot wait for you to say that in front of our friends!" "Well, you know I was just spitballing." "I'm gonna have to rewrite it." "No!" "No, no, no, no, no." "You say those words exactly. (laughs)" "I said no more than 10% baby's breath," "And I'm looking at 30%." "Take it all back." "Wow, bev, you are really pulling out all the stops." "Ohh." "Well, I'm not the only one." "I mean, I knew murray was romantic." "He doesn't show it," "But when you press him, it comes oozing out." "Oh, you should hear the vows he's writing for me." "What did he say?" "I got to hear." "I got to hear." "It was a private moment." "I..." "I don't really remember what was said..." "Oh, fair enough." "...But it was definitely this." ""I bet we've been together for a million years." ""and I bet we'll be together for a million more." ""it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed."" "Hmm." "What?" "It's just that..." "Have you seen  family ties?" "It's a hit tv show." "Insanely popular." "Michael j." "Fox?" "Where are you going with this?" "I think that murray's vows" "May share a few similarities with..." "A very famous theme song." "What?" "No." "You are so way off." "You're right." "But did his vows happen to end with "sha-la-la-la"?" "You should go." "I should go." "(girls singing in distance) adult adam:" "Eventhoughmy brother" "Letlaineyyokoono her way  intoourband," "Iwasstillclinging toouroriginaldream." "Thatis,untilIheardthis." "¶doyoufeelthesame?" "¶amIonlydreaming" "¶oris thisburning aneternalflame?" "(off-key) ¶saymy name" "¶sunshines throughtherain" "¶a wholelife solonely" "¶thenyoucome andeasethepain¶" "Stop!" "Stop!" "What have you done?" "Where's my drum set?" "There are no drums, bro." "Here." "You can ding the little triangle." "I don't want to ding a triangle." "Just ding the damn triangle!" "Never!" "Triangles?" "Candles?" "That's girl-band stuff." "We're not a girl band." "Says the guy wearing the lady's wig." "For your information, we're trying to be dee snider." "Who's she?" "Never heard of him." "Or his awesome music." "What happened to you, man?" "It used to be about the music" "And the mansion and chuck norris." "You've changed." "No." "I evolved." "You're the one who's stuck in the same place." "I just..." "Like being a team." "Guess that's over now." "(sighs)" "That..." "(door closes) ...Was a bummer, but, hey." "It's show business, not show friends, am I right?" "Speaking of that, we had a band meeting." "When?" "Just now." "And we're gonna have to ask you to leave." "What are you talking about?" "You're out of the band." "You keep winking at lainey and staring at lainey." "And one time, I saw you smell lainey." "Wait." "What?" "You're throwing me out of my own band?" "You can't do that." "We just did." "Wait." "Barry." "Yeah?" "Leave the triangle." "Adult adam:" "Itwas6: 00p.M.Sharp." "(zipper unzips) asalways,my daddropped hispantsofffromwork ." "Littledidhe know, mymomwasabouttodrop abombon him." "¶youtakethe good, youtakethebad" "¶youtakethemboth , andthereyouhave" "¶thefactsoflife ¶" "Wow!" "Shrimp parm." "What's the occasion?" "Oh, just a little thank-you" "For all you're doing to make our renewal so magical." "Well, it's mostly you," "But I do deserve some credit." "Gosh, I just can't stop thinking about those vows of yours." "How did you come up with such beautiful words?" "Well, I thought, "I wish we'd been together for a million years."" "And?" "And..." ""I wish we could be together for a million more."" "That..." "That..." "2 million!" "Wow." "That is so touching and from the heart." "Maybe I should share my vows with you." "Would you like that?" "Uh..." "Surprise me on the day." "No." "No, no, no, no." "I insist." "(chuckles)" ""you take the good." ""you take the bad." ""you take them both," ""and then you have the facts of life."" "Oh, boy." "The facts of (bleep) life!" "(spoon clatters) okay." "Clearly, you're angry." "And I'm willing to take some of the blame..." "Up to 30%." "How hard is it for you to say you love me?" "What do you want from me?" "Nothing rhymes with beverly." "It doesn't have to rhyme." "It..." "You know what?" "Don't even bother with the vows." "I'm canceling it." "Oh, don't do that." "I mean it." "We are never getting married again..." "Ever." "Fine." "The whole thing was just a big excuse" "To throw yourself a party, anyway." "Yes, I wanted to be treated like a princess," "Because all I do around here" "Is cook and clean all..." "Day..." "Long." "But you know what I really wanted?" "I just wanted to hear you talk about how much you love me." "(chuckles softly)" "Adult adam:" "My mom wasn'ttheonlyone" "Feelingthesting ofdisappointment." "(keytar playing discordantly) eventhegreatestmusical instrumentofthe'80s" "Couldn'tcheerme up ." "Since when do you play keytar?" "Since I went solo." "Like david lee roth with less jumping 'cause of my ingrown toenail." "I'm kind of on my own, too." "They kicked me out of the band." "Oh, doesn't feel good, does it, you putz?" "All right." "Listen." "I'll admit I got blinded by love." "But I'm back now." "I don't know, man." "Come on." "I got no band without my drummer." "Inoneday,wewent through thewholecycleofa band ..." "Thefight,thebreakup, andnowthereunion." "You know, even though my mom canceled our gig," "We're amazing enough to still become a female supergroup." "For sure." "Let's get famous." "Two, three, four." "(garage door opens) ¶closeyoureyes¶" "Adam and barry:" "¶weain'tgonnatake it" "What the..." "¶we'renotgonnatake it" "¶anymore" "Get out of here!" "You two are kicked out of the band!" "¶we'renotgonnatake it" "¶no,we ain'tgonnatake it fine!" "If that's how you want to be..." "Hit it, lainey." "Adam and barry:" "¶we'renotgonna takeitanymore" "Erica and lainey:" "¶closeyoureyes" "Itwasan epic battleofthebands." "Twistedsistervs.Sister." "Andeventhough theyweredifferentstyles," "Sometimes, musicmeldstogether intoonegloriousmash-up." "¶we'renotgonnatake it ¶doyoufeelthesame?" "Enough!" "¶we'renotgonnatake it" "Thiswasnot oneofthosetimes." "¶anymore¶" "(amplifier crackles)" "Go practice somewhere else!" "(drumming stops) no!" "This garage belongs to us!" "I'm sorry, lainey, but at this point in my career," "I have to put the music first." "Barry, what are you talking about?" "I'm talking about what happened between us and our tongues." "Why do you deny our night of passion?" "Uh..." "How much more obvious can I be?" "We're not a thing." "But..." "Look, I just don't like you that way." "(alarm blaring)" "What's going on?" "Nothing." "Just turn it off." "(alarm clock thuds) hey." "You set the alarm to watch the wedding." "Don't not watch it because you're pissed at me." "Just leave me alone." "What the hell are you doing?" "Can't sleep." "Look at her." "She really is the people's princess." "I'll never be anyone's princess." "My destiny is to die alone." "What are you talking about?" "Why are you being a dramatic moron?" "I suck!" "I actually thought I could land a girl that's so out of my league." "Hey." "It's possible." "Trust me." "No offense, dad," "But you just don't get what it's like to be me." "Come with me." "I want to show you something." "(film reel clicking) look at her." "Talk about out of my league." "You're sitting through the ceremony." "My god." "All you do is sit." "It's a problem, really." "Shut up." "Your mother thought it was low blood sugar." "Actually, I was just so overwhelmed." "Why?" "Look at her." "She's so beautiful and smart." "I never thought I'd be good enough for her." "Well, this gives me hope." "I mean, you're awful, and you got mom, so..." "Can't give up." "Adult adam:" "Sure,whatbarrysaid wasneedlesslyhurtful," "Butinthatinsult," "Mydadfound akernelof wisdom." "Go wake up the other morons." "You got a gig to play." "¶closeyoureyes" "¶giveme yourhand,darlin'" "¶doyoufeel myheartbeating?" "¶doyouunderstand?" "¶doyoufeelthesame?" "(in distance) ¶amIonlydreaming" "¶oris thisburning aneternalflame?" "¶I believe" "¶it'smeanttobe,darlin'" "Dad." "What's going on?" "¶I watchyou whenyouaresleeping" "Turns out you get that perfect wedding after all." "¶doyoufeelthesame?" "¶amIonlydreaming" "¶oris thisburning aneternalflame?" "I'm not very good, uh, with vows." "And, uh..." "God knows I'm not a prince." "Um..." "The one thing I do know for sure" "Is you are my princess." "And I am the luckiest nobody in the world." "Sha-la-la-la." "¶saymy name" "¶sunshinesthroughtherain" "¶a wholelifesolonely" "¶andthencome andeasethepain" "Adult adam:" "Sure, we were far fromroyaltyor rockgods," "Butthatnight, mymomfeltlikeaqueen ." "¶closeyoureyes" "Listen, about what I said." "No." "It's fine." "I get it." "You don't feel the same way about me." "But I'll win you over." "No, you won't." "Yeah, I will." "¶doyoufeelthesame?" "No." "You won't." "Yes, I will." "¶amIonlydreaming no, you won't." "¶oris thisburning aneternalflame?" "¶" "Mommy, I have a question." "So, lainey's going to ocean city over the weekend," "And if you let me go, I will give you" "The best snuggles of your life." "(chair scrapes) get off!" "Don't touch me!" "(purse thuds) god!" "You've got to stop wearing that wig." "I keep thinking you're mom." "What are you talking about?" "I look awesome." "Seriously, look at you." "Nope." "Don't see it." "Say "I have failed as a mother."" ""I have failed as a mother."" "Adam, we're getting mohawks!"