"SETH ROGEN:" "Welcome to the audio commentary for 50/50." " I'm Seth Rogen." " I'm Evan Goldberg." " I'm Will Reiser." " I am Ben Karlin." "And I am Jonathan Levine." "SETH ROGEN:" "And you are about to experience one of the greatest movie company logos in the history of the universe." "First you're thinking, "What is this?" "Am I in a forest?" ""It's a bush?" "Leaves falling."" "WILL REISER:" "Am I at a playground?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Now I'm at a playground." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "A safari?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Oh, no, I'm in a drum!" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And I must obey." "SETH ROGEN:" "And there's a creepy girl banging it." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I feel like that might be someone's child." "Like somebody involved." "SETH ROGEN:" "They look creepy in that." "I'm just gonna say it." "Don't put your kid looking creepy, banging the drum, if you don't want people to point it out." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "The kid could have been smiling." "SETH ROGEN:" "Now, for the rest of the commentary we should point out that Will Reiser's nickname in high school was Raisin," " and we call him Raisin." " JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Very important." "SETH ROGEN:" "So as you hear us say "Raisin" throughout the next 90 minutes, we're talking about Will Reiser, I guess." "Right?" "BEN KARLIN:" "Except for when I ask for raisins." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, that'll be confusing when you want raisins in your mouth later on." "BEN KARLIN:" "I'm gonna ask for a Will Reiser." "WILL REISER:" "No, that will be me." "That will be me." "SETH ROGEN:" "So, Raisin, why don't you give us some history on the project?" "WILL REISER:" "So 50/50 is a movie I wrote..." "BEN KARLIN:" "And 50/50 was the title from the beginning, right?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Always the title you wanted, right?" "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, it was the title from the beginning." "The movie was originally titled I'm with Cancer." "It's a script I wrote." "I started writing after I was diagnosed with cancer about six years ago." "And during that time Seth and Evan were two of my best friends and we kind of all went through it together and they really pushed me to write the script that became this movie." "EVAN GOLDBERG: 'Cause we believe in you." "WILL REISER: 'Cause they believe in me." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Well, we believed in you." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You really let them down, though." "BEN KARLIN:" "I didn't so much believe in Will as I did see a marketing opportunity..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "BEN KARLIN:...in his illness." "SETH ROGEN:" "Now we actually did put like a..." "As I've told the story to a few people, and they seem appalled that we were actually talking about writing a movie while you were still sick." "Like, most people assume we kind of didn't think that maybe you would be good to write a movie." "WILL REISER:" "People should get cancer and then figure out what they wanna talk about." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly." "Those people should be professional comedy writers who get cancer." "Yeah, see what happens next." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, see what they wanna talk about." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it's a good point." "It seems like you weren't gonna sit down and write a big political thriller at that point." "SETH ROGEN:" "That just seemed like..." "WILL REISER:" "I did." "Speaking of Bryce, I wanted to do something like The Help, but that was already taken, so I went with cancer." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "We tried to get you to write a script." "We kept both telling you, you should do it, but what was like the actual moment when you were like," ""I'm doing this, " and you first wrote something?" "WILL REISER:" "When I first actually wrote something?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Or first really made the decision." "SETH ROGEN:" "About something to do with this movie." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "What's the straw that broke the camel's back?" "WILL REISER:" "There were just so many absurd things that kept happening, that I just kind of felt like I needed to write these all down." "SETH ROGEN:" "But you were still sick when you starting writing it, right?" "Were you?" "Were you still going to the doctor or were you better?" "WILL REISER:" "I was thinking about it." "I was thinking about it." "I don't think I actually started writing down ideas until after I had my surgery, till I was in the clear." " Have a great day." " Okay." " Bye." " Bye." " Hey." " Yo!" "Sorry I'm late." " What's that smell?" "What is that?" " What?" "(SNIFFS) Did you sit in jam or something?" " What are you talking about?" "(SNIFFING)" " You smell all fruity. (SNIFFING) Oh!" "Yeah." "I ran out of shampoo." "I had to use Rachael's." " That's great." " (SNIFFING)" "You smell like you fucked the cast of The View." "Are we gonna go?" " Why?" "You don't want to be late?" " Well, I'm two minutes late already." " You're already two minutes late." " I know." "But if you really care about that, you should probably learn to drive." "That's what I think." "I deserved that." "You know what's really gonna make us late?" "What?" " When I stop for cappuccinos." " No, no, no, they have coffee there." " Delicious cappuccinos." " Dude, seriously." " Your back still hurts?" " Yeah." "I'm going back to the doctor today." " That's not right, man." " I know." "Have you been fucking in weird positions?" "(SCOFFS) Of course, that's where you would go with this." "Sometimes when I fuck in weird positions..." "WILL REISER:" "When I was in the hospital, and I was..." "I could barely..." "I was basically paralyzed after my surgery, 'cause I had to learn how to walk again, 'cause the surgery was so fucked up." "And I remember I had my car parked at a friend's house and I called my friend, like," ""Listen, I'm in the hospital." "I can't really walk, "" "and I was thinking maybe this friend would wanna come visit me." "And the friend said, "We're having a party on Monday." ""Would you mind coming and moving your car out of the driveway?"" "SETH ROGEN:" "We should have made a movie about what shitty friends you have." "WILL REISER:" "These people sound like such dicks." "And the thing is people just don't know how to deal with it." "And that's what the movie is about, in a lot of ways." "It's just people figuring out how to deal with it." "And some people just compartmentalize and just kind of disassociate and they can't handle the stress of it." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, I bet Car Guy was like," ""I know what I'll do to make him feel extra normal and good," ""I know what I'll do to make him feel extra normal and good," ""is I'll be a bigger dick to him than usual" ""and it will really normalize the whole thing, maybe."" "Maybe that's something..." "I was the Car Guy." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I remember you told me over the phone, 'cause I was at school in Montreal when it hit you, and then I went out that night and flipped out on a random friend for no reason whatsoever." "And then later realized it was because I was worried for my sweet little Raisin." "BEN KARLIN:" "I remember I was working at The Daily Show, and we offered a job to Will as a producer." "And we found out, one of the other producers came in and said," ""Will Reiser is not taking the job."" "And we're like, "What?" "Why is Will Reiser not taking this job?"" "And they were like, "He has cancer." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" ""I guess we can move on."" "WILL REISER:" "Literally the day I was diagnosed," "I got a call from Stewart Bailey at The Daily Show, offering me a job." "That's a good gig." "SETH ROGEN:" "That is a good gig, man, yeah." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah." " I didn't take it." "I took cancer." " SETH ROGEN:" "The truth is..." "I know." "You chose to have a tumor instead, which was an odd choice, but I guess in retrospect, it paid off." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Guys, can we talk about Joe for a second?" "'Cause I'm just watching him." "He's really good." "SETH ROGEN:" "He's awesome." "BEN KARLIN:" "Can we talk about Dunwitty Jones?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Dunwitty Jones in the top corner." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Top left corner." "SETH ROGEN:" "Of those three screens." "We found it was cheaper to create our own talk show than to clear one." "So that is Up to the Minute with Dunwitty Jones." "BEN KARLIN:" "I think it's To the Point." " You know what?" "Let's not quibble." " SETH ROGEN:" "To the Point." "Yeah, Joe's awesome." "WILL REISER:" "And Joe didn't really have a lot of prep time for this." "And so we did some rehearsing with you and Joe, and I feel like from..." "I just remembered thinking that you guys were really, really clicking really immediately." "It seemed pretty effortless." "SETH ROGEN:" "What often happens with rehearsal is we plan a lot of them, and then after 20 minutes we're like," ""We should just cancel all of these and try to capture this magic."" "And then we regret it horribly as I waste four hours improvising unfunny shit on set." "But, yeah, with Joe and me, yeah, it did..." "We had met each other a few times." "It's not like we were good friends or anything like that, but..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He ended up way different than he seemed." "He seemed like a much quieter dude." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, he's not like that." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He's really mellow compared to, I think, the general perspective." "SETH ROGEN:" "He's kind of the exact opposite of this character." "He's incredibly laid-back and he speaks his mind whenever he wants." "BEN KARLIN:" "And he has really cool hippie parents." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, and he's incredibly confident and it's really..." "It's an amazing..." "It's exactly what I don't do, which is an amazing transformation." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He's also pretty damn good at drums, if you didn't know." "SETH ROGEN:" "He is really good at drums." "WILL REISER:" "He's a talented musician overall." "SETH ROGEN:" "He's a very talented musician." "This doctor was a good actor, too." "This is always what we end up doing during the audio commentaries, just sit there and whenever a new actor comes on, we're like," ""This guy was good." "This guy was great that day."" "JONATHAN LEVINE: "I wonder what that guy's up to?"" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, "I wonder what" ""he's doing now." "I hope he listens to this."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Did we miss Will's little bit?" "Will had his little cameo, we didn't point it out." " No, he comes back." " WILL REISER:" "I'll be back." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He comes back." "WILL REISER:" "I'll be back." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Big cameo." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's a huge cameo." "BEN KARLIN:" "That was just a little teaser." "SETH ROGEN:" "Face to the Raisin." "WILL REISER:" "This right here, these MRIs are my actual MRIs." "SETH ROGEN:" "Really?" "WILL REISER:" "I guess you couldn't tell." "SETH ROGEN:" "That shows how cheap the movie is." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Of course, as producer, I knew that." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly." "We actually just used your..." ""Could you get cancer in a slightly different way this time?" ""Because your MRIs aren't reading quite as well as we would like."" "But is this what it was like when they told you?" "Was it anything like this?" "WILL REISER:" "I was by myself." "The only thing that happened, though, is that when I was initially diagnosed," "I remember I got the MRI on a Tuesday and I was supposed to get the results back on a Friday, and so I called the doctor's office trying to get the results, and the nurse told me, "The doctor's gone away for the weekend." ""You'll have to wait till Monday." And I was like, "Fuck."" "I was like, "I don't wanna have to wait through the weekend" ""to find out what the results are."" "And I said to her, "Is there any way he can call me" ""and he can just tell me," ""so I won't be anxious this weekend?"" "And the nurse said to me, "Your results are in," ""and I can tell you, you have nothing to worry about."" "SETH ROGEN:" "Ugh!" "WILL REISER:" "And what happened was she read the preliminary report," " but she didn't read the final report." " EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Oh, my God!" " So I went in on Monday." " BEN KARLIN:" "You cut her off." "She said, "You have nothing to worry about," "She said, "You have nothing to worry about," ""if you're worried that you don't have cancer."" "SETH ROGEN: "If you were worried life is going to be the same as it was up till now," ""then you have nothing to worry about."" "WILL REISER:" "So I went in on Monday, thinking I didn't have cancer, so I went by myself." "I didn't really care." "And then the first thing out of his mouth was," ""Listen, you know, I don't want you to stress out," ""but we found a tumor, " as this music rolls." "(ALL LAUGH)" "SETH ROGEN:" "Well played." "WILL REISER:" "And I was just completely shocked." "I just, you know..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Did you actually research on the Internet your survival rate?" "WILL REISER:" "I did." "SETH ROGEN:" "You did?" "WILL REISER:" "I did, but the thing is, I was..." "Yes, I did, but..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Did you ride a bus in a lonely manner?" "WILL REISER:" "And then I rode a bus for the next week." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "BEN KARLIN:" "What role did Radiohead play?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly."I just carried a boom box around playing Radiohead."" "WILL REISER:" "High and Dry was the anthem." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Did you have a nice weekend, though?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, I feel like Seth and I probably went and saw a nice movie that weekend." "SETH ROGEN:" "We probably did, yeah." "WILL REISER:" "Went to the Farmers' Market." " Walked around Barnes  Noble." " SETH ROGEN:" "We did that a lot back then." "Yeah, that was great." "Those were good times." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Went to The Creperie and the Lotería, maybe." "Before you only started eating yams and celery for the rest of your life?" "WILL REISER:" "Exactly." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "Yeah, we did go to the Farmers' Market a lot." "WILL REISER:" "That was pretty much our routine." "SETH ROGEN:" "I remember when you told me you had cancer," "I was sitting on the toilet, and I had to pretend I wasn't because I thought it was so weird." "It was such a weird place to get the news." "WILL REISER:" "But comforting." "BEN KARLIN:" "And you were Skyping, too." "SETH ROGEN:" "I was Skyping with him, too, yeah." "No, the really funny thing, though..." "Actually, the really funny thing, not really, but I was actually on the toilet, literally, when you called me, I don't know why I answered." "I'll tell you, I do know why I answered, because five minutes before, David Krummel, our friend, literally called me and he goes," ""Will has cancer." "Don't tell him I told you." "I'll call you later."" "And then I was like, "What?"" "And then my instinct, obviously, was to then go take a shit." "And as I did that, you called, and I had to answer 'cause I knew what you were calling me about." "I couldn't put it off, and then I had to pretend that I didn't already know and that Dave hadn't told me." "And so my reaction to you was false and probably a lot more..." "WILL REISER:" "I was always curious with the splashing." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly, yeah." "BEN KARLIN:" "You had no advance notice at all?" "You weren't..." "You just went..." "WILL REISER:" "To the doctor's office?" "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah." "And then found out you had cancer or were like..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, he specifically had reverse advance notice that..." "BEN KARLIN:" "No, but was it the type of thing where you thought you had a cold, and then..." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, it was like you had back pain, right?" "WILL REISER:" "I had back pain, but I also was tired." "SETH ROGEN:" "He was kind of deteriorating." "WILL REISER:" "I was." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He just looked like crap." "WILL REISER:" "I was falling apart." "BEN KARLIN:" "I consider that your steady state." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, no, he had, like..." "Your skin looked terrible." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And he would kind of limp and just be slow." "And every day he was a bit slower than the day before." "WILL REISER:" "And I would have these night sweats where I would wake up and my shirt was so wet, it was like I had just gone swimming." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It was most evident when he was smoking cigarettes..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "And are the night sweats like your body trying to get rid of all the bad shit in them?" "Or is it just a reaction?" "WILL REISER:" "I think it's hormonal." "SETH ROGEN:" "It is." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, I think it's your body reacting to..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "A menopause-like state, perhaps." "WILL REISER:" "I was going through menopause." "BEN KARLIN:" "Raisin." "WILL REISER:" "That's what I thought it was." "SETH ROGEN:" "You just assumed it was your normal menopause." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This is the scene that Will, you wrote, when you knew the title." " Is this when you figured out the title 50/50?" " SETH ROGEN: 50/50." "Yeah, as you were writing that scene, is that when you were like, "This is what I should call the movie."" "WILL REISER:" "Yes, exactly." "The second I wrote that scene, I thought, "50/50."" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's catchy." "WILL REISER:" "That's it." "SETH ROGEN: 50 slash 50." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "We could occupy a good 10 minutes of just saying old titles." "BEN KARLIN:" "We could." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Tumor Has It." "WILL REISER:" "Tumor Has It was a favorite of mine." "SETH ROGEN:" "I liked Hairless in Seattle because it is actually set in Seattle and he does actually lose his hair." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I think this is one of the..." "WILL REISER:" "Schwannoma, Washington." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, Schwannoma, Washington." "That's not a bad one, ultimately, I think." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Lerner's Permit." "Adam Lerner, remember that?" "SETH ROGEN:" "And he can't drive." "BEN KARLIN:" "Hoyo!" "SETH ROGEN:" "Hiyo!" "WILL REISER:" "What were the five finalists?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Man, I don't even..." "It's embarrassing to..." "Obviously, I don't get embarrassed by that much stuff, but the amount of few amazing options we were able to, like..." "BEN KARLIN:" "And how much time dedicated just to that?" "SETH ROGEN:" "How many meetings we had." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "There were 900 titles." "WILL REISER:" "Nine hundred titles." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "WILL REISER:" "I wanted "From the director of The Wackness, we have This Is Ill."" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This is Ill." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, I thought, "The Wackness presents Illin'."" "WILL REISER:" "Illin', yeah, that's a good one, too." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It was later determined by the people in marketing that that may not be the biggest draw." "SETH ROGEN:" "Anything with an apostrophe at the end of it does well in a movie I think, right?" " Illin'." " BEN KARLIN:" "That's a fact." "WILL REISER:" "Breakin'?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, Breakin', Breakin' 2." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That was the Wayans brothers, their version." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, that was their whole campaign." "BEN KARLIN:" "Schindler's Listin'." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "SETH ROGEN:" "Dances with Wolvesin'." "Dancin'." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This was the first day with Anjelica Huston." "BEN KARLIN:" "Remember how good an actor she was?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, she was amazing." "WILL REISER:" "She was amazing." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "She was very good." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It was one of those things where you're like, "Why are you slumming it with all of us right now?"" "WILL REISER:" "And the wig." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, she just wanted the wig and I was skeptical." "And then I saw her in the wig." "I was like, "That totally works."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She looked too good without the wig." "She needed something to just mom it up a little." "BEN KARLIN:" "She did." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And it also kind of took her away from looking traditionally Anjelica Huston-y, which I think is cool, too." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's true." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I remember Carla made a hard push for The Witches' wig." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yes." "That straight up..." "The full look from The Witches." "The Grand High Witch." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, I have to say I actually appreciate the wig because when she didn't have the wig, at first I was terrified" " because of The Witches." " SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly, yeah." "And she kept trying to feed you chocolate that would turn you into a mouse." "WILL REISER:" "Exactly." "BEN KARLIN:" "That was the other thing." "SETH ROGEN:" "But that's a great movie." "Can we just talk about that for..." "WILL REISER:" "That's a good movie." "SETH ROGEN:" "I wish were doing the audio commentary for" "Roald Dahl's The Witches right now." "I haven't seen that in years." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I think that was a Nick Roeg movie." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, I think so." "It was great." "You kidding me?" "The visual effects scared the shit out of me when I was a kid." "BEN KARLIN:" "We digress." "SETH ROGEN:" "We digress." "We can talk witches all day." "The Witches has a scene where the kid is stuck in a painting." "Nothing scares me more than paintings changing." "Is the painting looking at me?" "What's happening with the painting?" "What's happening with the painting?" " Serge Houde is great." " WILL REISER:" "He did a great job." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Here's where things get a little softer." "SETH ROGEN:" "Anna Kendrick." "BEN KARLIN:" "A little romance is coming in the room." "SETH ROGEN:" "We're about to meet Anna..." "That's not Anna Kendrick on the screen right now?" "WILL REISER:" "This is Anna Kendrick." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's Anna Kendrick?" "BEN KARLIN:" "That's the "I'm just about to meet Anna Kendrick" face." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Her character loves sandwiches." "SETH ROGEN:" "She loves sandwiches." "The first thing we said, "Sandwich."" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That was when we were talking about the character." "That was a big, big part for both of us." "SETH ROGEN:" "The tuna in the sandwich represents that she has to swim upstream in order to unlatch." "It's a metaphor." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "You walk in and she's eating ribs." "It's a whole different character." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "BEN KARLIN:" "My stepsister, who is a psychologist, like this character, watched this movie, and the first thing she said was," ""That office is totally not believable as an office."" "That was her one quibble." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Are you the one who pointed out, she's been doing this for three months, and she has 4,000 books." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "WILL REISER:" "She's well-read." "SETH ROGEN:" "She's very well-read." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "How do you think she got there so fast?" "SETH ROGEN: "I've been doing this for three weeks." ""I've mostly been moving books into this room for the last three weeks." ""Around nine hours a day." ""I'm very small."" "...Doogie Howser..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "How many kids do you think are gonna see this Doogie Howser joke and be like, "Who?" "What?" "Who?"" "And live the joke." "SETH ROGEN:" "They're gonna live the joke themselves." " That should be our marketing campaign." " EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That's 4D." "SETH ROGEN:" "Live the joke." "Experience it." "Someone I was doing an interview with for, I'm just gonna say a Jewish magazine, 'cause that's mostly who I do interviews with, pointed out how much they loved it said, "Katie's laptop, " in the background." "And I was gonna tell." "And I said, "Yeah, that was a good one."" "And I had no idea what he was talking about, until right now." "(ROGEN CHUCKLES)" "Yeah, that was great." "BEN KARLIN:" "Think of all the things you can put on there." "Just..." "EVAN GOLDBERG: "Katie's laptop."" "BEN KARLIN: "Katie's laptop" is really one of the least interesting facts you can point out." "BEN KARLIN:" "Computer." "SETH ROGEN:" "Computer." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She's kind of like a Tyrannosaurus Rex." "She's moving her arms a bit funny." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Speaking of Tyrannosaurus Rex, she has very small arms, Anna Kendrick." "SETH ROGEN:" "She does." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And part of this whole thing..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Lengthwise or girth-wise?" "BEN KARLIN:" "These are CGI." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, we lengthened them." "We added around 8 inches to them, I think, in every shot." "From her elbow to her wrist." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I never heard anyone say anyone has short arms." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "She has very short arms." "I think she admitted it herself, and part of the whole thing is that they have to be close enough to do the touching thing, and..." "SETH ROGEN:" "And that's when her short arms..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Her short arms were her Achilles' heel." "SETH ROGEN:" "Or her Kendrick's arm." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "SETH ROGEN:" "I never realized that." "WILL REISER:" "I had no idea." "It can't be that short." "BEN KARLIN:" "Achilles' Kendrick's arm was his heel, by the way." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "SETH ROGEN:" "Achilles is Kendrick's arm." "Yeah, I never noticed that." "That's all I'm gonna look at from now on." "I'll be honest, I let all you guys say it was cool to hire her before I ever saw Up in the Air." "I watched that movie a week-and-a-half ago and she was great in it." "So I'm glad we moved forward with that." "But I'd literally never seen her act in anything." "BEN KARLIN:" "Really?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, never." "Everyone else seemed really into her, though." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, I was a big fan." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She's awesome." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, that's how trusting I am of you guys." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "What's the history of this song here?" "Where did you find this?" "WILL REISER:" "This is Levine." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, this is actual relaxation music." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Zene put this song..." "Zene, the editor, this song was in the very first cut I saw, and it's just amazing." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "But is it Enya?" "It is Sade?" "SETH ROGEN:" "No, it's actual relaxation shit." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I think it's actual relaxation music." "Zene likes to relax and kick back with relaxation music." "SETH ROGEN:" "This is what he edits to." "WILL REISER:" "He actually watches this scene to relax." "SETH ROGEN:" "He just edits to this music all day." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He's getting into the zone." " Here we go." " SETH ROGEN:" "These fucking dogs." "WILL REISER:" "He's very good." "SETH ROGEN:" "What were these dogs' names?" "WILL REISER:" "Dennis, Denver and William." " Denver and William." " This is William, I believe." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "We definitely ended up bailing on one of them." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "One of them was really too sad." "SETH ROGEN:" "Dennis was sad." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "There was an introvert and an extrovert." "BEN KARLIN:" "One was an actor dog and the other wasn't, and we ended up liking the non-actor." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I know." "SETH ROGEN:" "Isn't that always the way?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "The dog, it had to really do nothing." "All it had to do was nothing." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's what you kept telling it." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "This dog doesn't matter." "My sister's dog's later in the movie." "Let's not give this dog any attention." "SETH ROGEN:" "We're like the John Cassavetes of dog actors." "We just like to use real dogs." "Throw them in front of the camera." "Tell them to do their thing." "Actor dogs, anyone could use those." "We try to bring..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That dog did something different on every take." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Its eye movement." "SETH ROGEN:" "Working with these dogs was like working with fucking aliens." "They were the weirdest things I've ever been around in my entire life." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And you couldn't pet them." "WILL REISER:" "They did not like being touched." "SETH ROGEN:" "They kept talking about how thin their skin was." "Every time you touch them." "BEN KARLIN:" "They got cold if you breathed on them." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, you can't breathe on them, their skin is fucking cold." "If you touch them, you're gonna rip their fucking skin." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "They were elaborately explaining that these were a mistake by God." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly." "They're abominations, let's say." "They're too cold, so you can't touch them." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That was Will." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's Will Smith?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, well..." "WILL REISER:" "We missed me?" "BEN KARLIN:" "I think we're coming back to you." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "There's Reiser!" "SETH ROGEN:" "Will, look at you." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Seth and I went to high school with this guy, Ryan." "He's great." "SETH ROGEN:" "I was on the improv team with him." " We went to the national finals." " WILL REISER:" "He did a good job." "SETH ROGEN:" "He did." "Look at him drink." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He also did the original" "Pineapple Express table read with us." "SETH ROGEN:" "He did." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "So this guy, Peter Kelamis..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, this guy, Peter Kelamis, is..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He was good to us when we were kids." "He's a stand-up." "SETH ROGEN:" "When I first started doing stand-up, when I was 13 years old, he was really nice to me and not in a weird sexual way, but in just a really friendly stand-up dude way. (LAUGHS)" "And he would help me and we would talk about jokes together." "We would write jokes together sometimes." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Do you remember any of the 13-year-old jokes?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Do you remember any of the 13-year-old jokes?" "SETH ROGEN:" "They were all so stupid." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "They were bad?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I remember one." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was all context." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Seth said, "My grandparents were in bed," ""and they're getting so old and their hearing's no good." ""And my grandmother said, 'Pass me the pillow. '" ""And my grandfather says, 'What?" "I'm an armadillo?"'" "SETH ROGEN:" "That was part of the set-up, not the full joke." "Again, it's context." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I remember a whole bunch of them." "SETH ROGEN:" "Imagine Jonathan Lipnicki telling that joke, you'd be laughing your ass off." "That's when I was like, that fucking," ""How much does a brain weigh?" shit isn't funny." "It's just funny 'cause a kid's saying it and that's what I was doing." "It's like an energy thing." "You know?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This scene was in and out of the movie on several occasions." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Hotly debated." "SETH ROGEN:" "Hotly debated." "Hotly debated scene." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Very controversial scene." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I'm happy with the end." "SETH ROGEN:" "What's this music?" "I like this song." "BEN KARLIN:" "This is another one that was always in." "SETH ROGEN:" "Zene, man." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah, this music never left." "SETH ROGEN:" "Zene picks amazing music." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, he's got great taste in music." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I mumbled this song all day today." "(ROGEN AND GOLDBERG HUMMING)" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's The Walkmen." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, Zene edited many of David Gordon Green's movies." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He's artsy." "SETH ROGEN:" "All the Real Girls..." "I think all of David's movies." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, except for..." "SETH ROGEN:" "And not Pineapple Express or Your Highness or The Sitter 'cause we stole him after that." "Because he did Observe and Report and this movie." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And I remember loving the music in Observe and Report and..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it's awesome!" "The music in that is great." "I love Zene." "He's a beautiful man." "Me and him kind of look similar from behind." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "WILL REISER:" "That's all that really matters." "SETH ROGEN:" "Philip Baker Hall, man." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He was another "Why are you doing this with us?" kind of guy." "BEN KARLIN:" "He was such a good guy." "Oh, man." "SETH ROGEN:" "So was Max Headroom." "I had to do it." "Is that even what he did?" "I don't even remember what Max Headroom did." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I think he did some..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Some kind of electronics stuff." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He does like this clicking noise and ticks his head to the left." "BEN KARLIN:" "I'm sure he appreciates..." "SETH ROGEN:" "You know, come on." "I mean, don't be Max Headroom and not expect someone to do a Max Headroom reference." "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "People will still be doing," ""You know why you're not gay?" to Seth in 20 years." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "I know what's it like to have a thing." "I wish my thing was half as cool as fucking Max Headroom." "My thing sucks compared to that." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Matt Frewer, not only a great actor, but also cast" " because of his ability to look sick." " (ROGEN LAUGHS)" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "When we were making it and he was doing it," "I was like, "This guy's doing too much." "I don't know." "I'm concerned."" "And he just nailed it." "WILL REISER:" "He's wonderful." "SETH ROGEN:" "What he did great is he's playing prostate cancer, right, and he kept kind of making it like his ass was hurting." "He suddenly..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And I thought he was just a fidgety dude who couldn't chill out." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, every time he did it I was like, "Man, that's so brutal."" "But, Philip..." "Yeah, prostate." "Yeah, see, he even says it." "He's an amazing actor." "He's in the Watchmen and he's great in that movie." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He's so good in that." "SETH ROGEN:" "I love that movie." "BEN KARLIN:" "He's so good in a ton of things." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "He also has cancer, right?" "SETH ROGEN:" "I should point out, yes, he also has cancer in the Watchmen movie." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "But he has pointy ears." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's totally different." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's a totally different thing." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, I guess now that I think about it, when" " he got the script, he's like, "This again?"" " SETH ROGEN: "I got this."" "BEN KARLIN:" "But didn't he originally read for the doctor?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "He did originally read for the doctor and he really felt an affinity for Mitch." "SETH ROGEN:" "He was great, though." "This song's amazing." "WILL REISER:" "This is also a great Zene selection." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "This is the best minute." "WILL REISER:" "This is my favorite part of the movie." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It is so tonally fucking weird." "SETH ROGEN:" "That one guy looks like me." "Yeah, I remember this was one of the first things that they cut together and showed us, and it was like this leading into the next scene where he throws up, and it was exact, we really didn't change anything." "And I remember being really excited 'cause I thought like," ""That's so fucking weird."" "WILL REISER:" "I always get weirded out 'cause that last patient looks like Serge, the father." "That always weirds me out." "SETH ROGEN:" "It does a little bit." "No one points that out, though." " Fucking asshole." " WILL REISER:" "Why is Adam's dad sick?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It was him, Will." "We didn't have money for extras that day." "SETH ROGEN:" "But, yeah, this song's great." " It's the Bee Gees, right?" " JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's the Bee Gees." "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's all about the end..." "Ah-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa..." "SETH ROGEN:" "I remember being very worried that this joke wouldn't work, but it does, I guess." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I don't know if it's really a joke." " This moment works." " SETH ROGEN:" "Whatever it is, yeah." "I call it all jokes." "As I was working with Barbra Streisand," "I would constantly ask her just about famous people she worked with and at the same time have to tread lightly 'cause I am really not that familiar with her career." "And apparently she did three albums with Barry Gibb and the Bee Gees." "And one day I was like, "You ever meet the Bee Gees?"" "And she was like, "What the fuck?"" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Wait, now, did you actually know who Barry Gibb was when she said the name?" "Or did you have to say, "Who's that?"" "I wouldn't have known that was a Bee Gee." "SETH ROGEN:" "I do know the Gibbs are the Bee Gees." "BEN KARLIN:" "But she wasn't involved, she just performed their music, right?" "SETH ROGEN:" "No, she worked..." "She wrote two albums with Barry Gibb." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah, they had a famous duet." " I don't know what it's called." " SETH ROGEN:" "I don't remember, either." "I hope she doesn't listen to this." "There's no way she will." "What are the odds of Barbra Streisand..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She watches every movie that comes out on the weekend." "SETH ROGEN:" "But does she listen to the audio commentaries?" "No." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Weekdays, audio commentary, weekends, movies." "SETH ROGEN:" "I hope not." "I'm gonna be in trouble." "From what I understand, it's really rough." "Now all I can look at is her arms." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You see how she has to reach for it?" "SETH ROGEN:" "She had to crane for it." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "You're gonna get a call from her, Levine." ""How the fuck could you reveal that to people?"" "SETH ROGEN:" "Did you go to a social worker, Raisin, while you were..." "WILL REISER:" "I did go to a therapist." "BEN KARLIN:" "Not as helpful as us?" "WILL REISER:" "She was about 65, maybe." "I'm sorry if you were younger." "I don't know the age of my therapist." "But nothing like Anna Kendrick whatsoever." "SETH ROGEN:" "Did she touch you a lot?" "WILL REISER:" "There was a lot of touching." "There was absolutely no touching." "I don't think we were ever this close to..." "SETH ROGEN:" "My sister's a social worker, actually, and I showed her this movie and as soon as she reaches over to touch him the first time she goes, "I would never touch one of my clients!"" "WILL REISER:" "But there is this thing that they do." "When you're in medical school, where they actually train doctors..." "I don't know in all medical schools, but what inspired that was that I have an ex-girlfriend whose cousin was in medical school, and she was telling me that he basically had to take a whole seminar in how to properly touch patients." "And that's the thing that doctors are all the worst at is trying to humanize the situation and..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "They just need to de-humanize people's expectations." "SETH ROGEN:" "They all just need to do ecstasy all day long, man." "WILL REISER:" "Doctors are kind of like robots." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "They should be." "They shouldn't be touching anybody." "A lot of people find them really helpful." "WILL REISER:" "I think the dickier a doctor is to you, the better chance you have of living." "I think that that's really pretty much how it goes." "SETH ROGEN:" "If Grey's Anatomy taught me anything, it's that." "Yeah." "WILL REISER: (SNICKERING) Grey's Anatomy." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "On a mind-blowingly unrelated note," "I was watching television, I saw a Grey's Anatomy commercial where a bullet seemed to kill half the people in the hospital." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, that was a very amazing episode where someone kills everyone." " BEN KARLIN:" "That actually is what happens?" "WILL REISER:" "That's in a Grey's Anatomy episode?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, there was a trailer where everyone dies, and a bullet's flying through the hospital." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, it's kind of like a takeoff of that Korn video." "BEN KARLIN: (LAUGHING) Yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it was crazy, man." "Actually, me and Barbra talked about that quite a bit." "She's a big Grey's Anatomy fan." "WILL REISER:" "You and Barbra, huh?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, and I've been forced into watching it by my girlfriend for years." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It'd just be you have a" "TV show that's doing poorly," " send a bullet through the scene." " SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Have it hit half the cast." "SETH ROGEN:" "Now this was like the first day of shooting, right?" "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah, we had to do this first 'cause we actually are shaving his head." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And everyone, every time, they ask, "Is it real?" "Is he really" " doing it?"How many takes did you get?"" " SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "One." "SETH ROGEN:" "In retrospect, I realize how crazy it was that we literally improvised our way entirely through a head-shaving scene." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's amazing." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "If you guys had cracked up, we would have been fucked." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "So I guess what we're saying is we're all really fucking stupid" " for letting them improvise." "Seriously." " SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "Yeah, it was pretty..." "Yeah, 'cause someone I was talking to, who had seen the movie, was like, "It's amazing 'cause that head-shaving scene seemed so natural." ""Like you're just saying all that stuff." We kind of were." "They looked at me like we were the stupidest people in the entire world." "BEN KARLIN:" "The most time we spent was trying to come up with names of famous bald people." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Sinéad O'Connor." "BEN KARLIN:" "Michael Chiklis." "SETH ROGEN:" "Michael Stipe, Michael Chiklis." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Gorbachev." "SETH ROGEN:" "Gorbachev." "Yeah." "I think Worf from Star Trek is the only one we ended up using." "BEN KARLIN:" "Didn't we use..." "Michael Stipe was in for a while." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it was in for a while." "BEN KARLIN:" "I think Michael Stipe's in there now." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it is in there." "BEN KARLIN:" "But Michael Stipe looks good bald." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That's my issue with it." "He looks fine bald." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Guys, he looks great." "WILL REISER:" "Joe looks good bald." "BEN KARLIN:" "Joe looks good bald." "SETH ROGEN:" "This was stressful." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah." "...pass for Worf from Star Trek." "BEN KARLIN:" "There it is." "SETH ROGEN:" "Their Worf reference." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "What was Worf's name, the actor?" "SETH ROGEN:" "His name was..." "BEN KARLIN:" "Man." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's a toughie." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That was a joke in there." "SETH ROGEN:" "Call in if you know the name of Worf." "Is this on the radio?" "BEN KARLIN:" "Call 555-Raisin!" "SETH ROGEN:" "We should take calls during one of these one day." "BEN KARLIN:" "God, that would be fun." "SETH ROGEN:" "That would actually be great." "And it's not my balls, it's my asshole." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That is actually entirely based on truth." "Seth shaves his asshole twice a week." "SETH ROGEN:" "Three times a week." "Thrice a week." "WILL REISER:" "How often do you bleach?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Ever since I started shaving, I don't need to bleach." "It seems like overkill more than anything." "I just sit in a vat of bleach once a week just to get the whole..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Just dip my butt." "SETH ROGEN:" "I just dip my butt." "I teabag a big vat of bleach every week just to get that whole region as sterile and as clean as possible." "I like that Mariners hat." "BEN KARLIN:" "Who got that hat?" "Did Joe get that hat?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "The Mariners hat was something I wanted him to wear." " I saw Will kind of taking credit." " WILL REISER:" "I did." "BEN KARLIN:" "Who got to keep it, though?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Controversy." "Controversy." "WILL REISER:" "Levine kept the hat." "WILL REISER:" "No, but I'm saying, whose idea was the hat?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It was my idea." "BEN KARLIN:" "I don't care about whose idea it is," "I just wanna know who got the hat." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I got the hat and it was my fucking idea." "SETH ROGEN:" "So boo." "Fuck you, Will." "WILL REISER:" "Actually, the hat was my idea." "SETH ROGEN:" "Why don't we just assume that whoever wound up with the hat, it was their idea." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I didn't take anything from this movie, I think." "I don't think I took any cool keepsakes." "SETH ROGEN:" "I took the X-rays, but I didn't realize they were Will's actual X-rays from when he was sick." "BEN KARLIN:" "I got Philip Baker Hall's shirt." "SETH ROGEN:" "You're wearing it right now." "It looks really good." "You wear it un-tucked." "BEN KARLIN:" "Is this one of two crane shots in the movie, Jonathan?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Right, so here's the thing," " on a movie of this size..." " SETH ROGEN:" "You can't afford shit." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You can't afford shit." "So when you get a crane for the day, you use it as much as possible." "So we had the crane for the outside the hospital shot, when he's walking into the hospital." "And then we had this scene and I had the crane, so we figured out how to use it." "And, actually, I think it turned out to be a pretty nice shot." " SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "On a budget." " BEN KARLIN:" "I think you did well." "SETH ROGEN:" "We made this movie for $400,000." "Most people don't know that." "JONATHAN LEVINE: $400,000." "WILL REISER: 300 of which went to Seth." "SETH ROGEN:" "Went to me, yeah." "Into my slush fund." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "The Seth Rogen slush fund." "BEN KARLIN:" "I think this was the last night." "I think this was our last night." "WILL REISER:" "This was our last night, yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "This may have meant nothing to you as an American, but the Mayor of Vancouver came to the set that day." "SETH ROGEN:" "He did come." "BEN KARLIN:" "On his bike, I believe." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, on his Segway." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's no joke." "WILL REISER:" "Isn't that building the City Hall?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That's Richmond City Hall, Will." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's an amazing building." "It's a beautiful building." "WILL REISER:" "So, by the way, that is not a hospital." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, that's Richmond City Hall." "WILL REISER:" "We did a good job." "SETH ROGEN:" "Is this a real dude?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, this is fake, right?" "BEN KARLIN:" "No, Cosper Schlegel is made up." "WILL REISER:" "Cosper Schlegel is made up." "WILL REISER: "Mystic psychiatrist" is also made up." "I don't know what that is." "SETH ROGEN:" "I don't know what that is." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's always fun shooting in a bookstore 'cause you can just read all day instead of talk to people." "And we're back." "Sorry, we had a technical difficulty." "Please ignore however that sounds in your audio commentary." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I think they'll edit that part out, no?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Who knows how smooth it'll be." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You're right." "You're right." "SETH ROGEN:" "So, yeah, we were filming..." "BEN KARLIN:" "Should we point out where Jonathan is right now?" "WILL REISER:" "I just wanna put out that Seth is dressed for summer there and Joe is dressed for winter." "SETH ROGEN:" "Well, Joe, he's cold." "He's sick, dude." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Because he's sick." "WILL REISER:" "He's like the grayhound." "SETH ROGEN:" "He has a weakened immune system." "WILL REISER:" "He does have a weakened immune system." " He has thin skin." " SETH ROGEN:" "I'm wearing a fleece." "Who wears a fleece in the summer?" "You crazy?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "His makeup here is actually really good." "SETH ROGEN:" "It is good." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "He's starting to get..." "We had a few stages of his kind of physical deterioration." "I think this was the middle of stage two." "You start to see the sunken eyes and stuff like that." "And we had the great hair and makeup team who..." "He's really, really sick." "SETH ROGEN:" "Look how good I look." "WILL REISER:" "Yup." "SETH ROGEN:" "I think I made the call not to let them put makeup on me or do my hair and I look like a real bum throughout the whole movie, which is kind of nice." "That's how I look." "That's the most like me I've ever looked in a movie, I think." "That's how I look right now, right?" "BEN KARLIN:" "Paul?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Like shit." " Other than Paul." " WILL REISER:" "Paul's very natural." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "But you're a four-eyed nerd." "That's not being displayed properly." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's true." "WILL REISER:" "Did you ever use my cancer to hit on women, ladies?" "SETH ROGEN:" "The answer is" "I met my fiancée while you still were sick." "WILL REISER:" "It's true." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "So inadvertently you had to have?" "SETH ROGEN:" "It must have helped." "Are you kidding me?" "WILL REISER:" "I'm pretty sure that I remember you were like," ""Lauren and I were out looking for a gift for you."" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah!" "WILL REISER:" "Like a book." ""We got you this book."" " You would have never done that." " SETH ROGEN:" "No, never, ever." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "The real story is that he cried in her arms." "He was acting the whole time, though." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, but the truth is..." "EVAN GOLDBERG: "My friend Will's in trouble." "Please hold me." ""Hold me." "Hold me more."" "SETH ROGEN:" "The truth is the night that Will, Raisin, introduced me to the woman I'm marrying and..." "BEN KARLIN:" "He did?" "I didn't know that." "WILL REISER:" "Don't use first names." "SETH ROGEN:" "Lauren." "Her name is Lauren." "She's walking the dog that licks my dog's balls in the movie in a few minutes." "And, yeah, he did." "And that night, we all went to a bar." "We went to a birthday party." "WILL REISER:" "We were at El Cid." "SETH ROGEN:" "At El Cid." "We were at Ginnifer Goodwin's birthday party." "And, at it, Will was still sick." " You hadn't had your surgery yet, right?" " WILL REISER:" "No." "SETH ROGEN:" "And we were..." "Literally, I remember, like, the conversation that we were having with the girls, was we were joking about what movie ideas we could make out of it." "WILL REISER:" "To make a cancer comedy." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, actually, I think one of the first nights we actually talked about..." "WILL REISER:" "It was the first time we talked about it." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was the first time we actually talked about how could we make a movie." "And I can't help but think that made me not only appear to be compassionate, but funny and driven to my now fiancée." "And I think that it really probably did help me out." "WILL REISER:" "I think that's what..." "SETH ROGEN: 'Cause I was friends with you and I was nice and I was trying to make the best of a bad situation." "At the same time, I showed career stability." "(ALL SNICKERING)" "BEN KARLIN:" "And you were easy on the eyes." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Speaking of easy on the eyes, can we talk about the guy..." "SETH ROGEN:" "The Zig-Zag guy?" "WILL REISER:" "About what?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That dude, or guy." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Just call him "the Jesus guy." You don't need to dick around." "SETH ROGEN:" "I don't often feel bad about shit we say about people in the movie." "'Cause often people are in a movie, and then in another scene they're not in." "You say something funny, making fun of them, but we really go at this guy pretty hard in this scene that he's not in." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I guarantee you this guy got more action" " than all of us combined with his hippie hair." " SETH ROGEN:" "It's true." "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And has a very good life." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's a good point." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I think there was a line, Seth, where you referred to him as the Zig-Zag guy that I thought was really funny." "I don't think it's in the movie." "SETH ROGEN:" "He really looks like the Zig-Zag guy." "We were able to re-use any of the jokes that didn't make it into Knocked Up about Martin and his disgusting..." "We had a lot of those." "I liked shooting this scene." "BEN KARLIN:" "How many times did you make Bryce kiss him?" "SETH ROGEN:" "A lot, right?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You know, like..." "God, I don't know." "It's like Bryce just will do whatever you say." "I can't even..." "WILL REISER:" "Here's Seth's Kramer moment." "SETH ROGEN: (LAUGHING) My Kramer moment." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "My favorite moment's coming up, the scowling look she gives Seth." "SETH ROGEN:" "I hold for applause." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "She's wonderful." "And by that I mean she loves taking direction," "And you could pretty much tell her to do anything and she'd do it." "And she's so pleasant about it." "And I was talking to someone about this yesterday." "Like, between this and The Help," "I think she's playing two pretty mean people." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She's like the nicest girl in the world and she always plays a bad guy." "SETH ROGEN:" "And I think in Twilight, she literally plays a vampire queen, which is not very nice either, I would imagine." "WILL REISER:" "Vampire queens tend to not be very nice." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's three villains in a row." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "No, but in Twilight, you don't know 'cause some of them sparkle." " Some of them are good." " SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She didn't sparkle." "WILL REISER:" "I don't think she's good." "SETH ROGEN:" "Is she a sparkler?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, I watched, she's bad." "SETH ROGEN:" "Not a sparkler." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She's an evil, evil, evil vampire." "SETH ROGEN:" "I think the word is "twink, " right?" "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "Nothing?" "Nothing?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, see, I wonder if that guy's gonna feel shitty about all that stuff I say about him." "WILL REISER:" "No, he'll be psyched." "SETH ROGEN:" "He'll be too busy fucking eight women at once." "He'll be too busy writhing in a pile of dreadlocks and sweat to look up and listen to this." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That's a good name for an album." "SETH ROGEN:" "Dreadlocks and Sweat, the new album from Lenny Kravitz." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Chaka Demus  Pliers." "SETH ROGEN:" "I was gonna say Chaka Demus  Pliers." "I was thinking no one will get it." "You went there." "I liked it." " He looks real bald in this scene." " BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah, yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's nice." "The light is glaring off his head." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's beautiful cinematography." "SETH ROGEN:" "Terry Stacey was our..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Terry Stacey, cinematographer." "SETH ROGEN:" "He was great." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Really knew how to maximize the light gleaming off Joe's bald head." "SETH ROGEN:" "We've been using it as a bounce onto Bryce." "That's where that gold hue is coming off of him." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I remember Terry had a mold of his head made, and was just sitting there with flashlights and working angles." "SETH ROGEN: (BRITISH ACCENT) "The frontal lobe really reflects quite nicely."" "EVAN GOLDBERG: (BRITISH ACCENT) "His hypothalamus is a problem."" "BEN KARLIN:" "Terry is British in case you haven't noticed." "SETH ROGEN:" "He is British." "No, he's not." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "He sounds exactly like that, too." "SETH ROGEN: (BRITISH ACCENT) "Terry Stacey's here." ""Yes, the light bouncing off his crevice..."" "BEN KARLIN:" "Wherever you are, you can always pick out Terry Stacey 'cause he's the only guy who makes a pork pie hat fashionable." "SETH ROGEN:" "He really does." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And he also carries a milk jug full of water with him everywhere he goes." "SETH ROGEN:" "And he rolls his own cigarettes." "It is what he's like, and it sounds like the most ridiculous human being." "WILL REISER:" "And he wears a fisherman's outfit." "SETH ROGEN:" "Dressed like a fisherman with a milk jug full of water and a hand-rolled cigarette." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "But he makes it look cool." "WILL REISER:" "He does, he looks cool in that." "BEN KARLIN:" "I don't think I ever saw him once without his hat." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, I think her evil, evil scowl comes here." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, I know what you're talking about." "SETH ROGEN:" "It happened already." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It happened already?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It was when they were sitting." "This is great, though, when we..." "Towards the later takes, we got you guys kind of just talking over each other, and it was really, really funny." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I just didn't like the cursing." "WILL REISER:" "This is a real homeless person right here." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This guy is not homeless." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "There's Levine!" "SETH ROGEN:" "There's Levine!" "And there's Terry Stacey's hat in the foreground." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And Jonathan Levine, thinking he's Alfred Hitchcock." "SETH ROGEN:" "Look at you getting off a bus." "Walking away." " Look at that walk." "Still walking." " JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Casual." "Casual." "SETH ROGEN:" "Here's Joe in bed with a fucking alien." ""Hello."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He caused massive damage to its skin by petting its head like that." "SETH ROGEN:" "He ruptured its cranium." "BEN KARLIN:" "You have no idea how many Kibbles 'n Bits had to be there to keep that dog there." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "We all had pockets full of liver treats." "It was fucking disgusting." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Here comes the biggest moment in the entire movie." "SETH ROGEN:" "Marlow?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yes, Marlow the Wonderdog." "A very important member of my family with a very special talent." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yes." "What's funny is Marlow's walking my fiancée in this scene." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She was an incredible supporting actress." "BEN KARLIN:" "But this is true movie magic you're about to see." "'Cause this, all due respect to Will, you couldn't script this moment right here." "WILL REISER:" "And nor did I." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And my sister said if we're lucky, he'll do it." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, literally." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Pay close attention." "Here it goes, you guys." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Completely improvised." "SETH ROGEN:" "Boom." "He did it." "You literally see his tongue flicking, though." "You literally see the..." "WILL REISER:" "Now is he going for Skeletor's balls or is he going for ass?" "BEN KARLIN:" "He's going for all of it, man." "He's going for everything." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He's got a big tongue." "He doesn't have to choose." "SETH ROGEN:" "Marlow don't discriminate." "Just get a mouth full of ass and balls and fucking go to town." "WILL REISER:" "Marlow has big balls." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He's got huge balls." "He's not neutered." "BEN KARLIN:" "Really?" "WILL REISER:" "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Nope." "SETH ROGEN: 'Cause he eats other dogs' balls." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I'm on a campaign." "WILL REISER:" "He's a well-endowed..." "BEN KARLIN:" "You're on a campaign to what?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Do not get your animals spayed and neutered." "BEN KARLIN:" "Interesting." "SETH ROGEN:" "Let 'em fuck." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Let 'em fuck." "SETH ROGEN:" "Evan's part of the Let 'Em Fuck campaign." "Not quite as popular as the Control the Pet Population campaign." "Let 'Em Fuck is coming along, right?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "You'll all regret this when the aliens come and there's a Control the Human Population campaign." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly, and he'll be part of the Let 'Em Fuck campaign." "We're in a very..." "Now this bar, when we were growing up in Vancouver, this was the seediest place you could ever go." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I would never go in there." "WILL REISER:" "It's like a crack den." "SETH ROGEN:" "Like most seedy places, it's been taken over by hipsters." "So now it actually is kind of a hip place to go, from what I understand, right?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, it's just dangerous enough to attract..." "SETH ROGEN:" "To attract real hipsters." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "But not dangerous enough to have them be afraid of it." "But it was important to me that the bars that the characters in this movie go to, and just all the kind of environments, feel very real." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "WILL REISER:" "Did we mention that we shot the movie in Vancouver where Seth and Evan are from?" "SETH ROGEN:" "We didn't, then we did." "WILL REISER:" "So it was a homecoming of sorts." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was." "Neither of us have ever worked there before and it was fun to be able to impose our will." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I stayed with my parents for three-and-a-half, four weeks." "SETH ROGEN:" "Me and my girlfriend and Will and James Weaver, who works for us and is a producer on the movie, all stayed at my parents' house." "WILL REISER:" "We kicked your parents out of the house and moved into the house." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was more cost effective to get my parents an apartment and have the four of us stay in the house." "BEN KARLIN:" "And I remember I was very impressed by how much Judaica your parents had on the wall." "SETH ROGEN:" "I know and they're really not that religious at all, but they're deep into Judaica." "WILL REISER:" "I think that was the best Passover I've ever had." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was a fun Passover." "WILL REISER:" "Your father can really tell that tale quite well." "SETH ROGEN:" "Will and Joe came to our Passover Seder, which fell during shooting, actually." "Yeah, it was nice." "We didn't keep Passover, but this is..." "WILL REISER:" "Now she's a friend of yours from Vancouver." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, I've never met either of them." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "She knows someone I know, but we've never met." "WILL REISER: 'Cause I feel like she was..." "BEN KARLIN:" "She was at a party we were at." "WILL REISER:" "We were watching the Olympics." "SETH ROGEN:" "She was." "She was." "That's right, she showed up." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I believe she knows my friend Jason Feinstadt." "SETH ROGEN:" "She does know Jason Feinstadt or "Quasi, " as he's known." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I don't play that game." "SETH ROGEN:" "You don't?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I just call him Feinstadt." "SETH ROGEN:" "Wow." "That's very interesting." "That's a to-the-face nickname though, right?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It became that eventually." "SETH ROGEN:" "It started out as a not-to-the-face nickname." "It slowly became a to-the-face nickname." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I just didn't like the nickname." "SETH ROGEN:" "I always get confused with to-the-face nicknames and not-to-the-face nicknames." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Raisin's a to-the-face nickname." "WILL REISER:" "It's to-the-face." "Raisin was always to-the-face." "SETH ROGEN:" "There was a girl in our high school who we all called Peanut Head." "Her head was shaped like a peanut." "And I forgot one night, when we were drunk..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And you forgot at 1 1:55 on New Year's Eve." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was New Year's." "...that Peanut Head was not a to-the-face nickname and I saw her." "And I was like, "Peanut Head!" And she flicked a cigarette right at my face." "I was like, "What was that about?" "Why is Peanut Head so pissed?"" "And then the guy I was with was like," ""You're not supposed to fucking call her that!"" "Not to the face." "Not to the Peanut Head." "You can't." "We have to be awake when they're awake." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I like this exterior." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it's nice." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's a nice night to get outside." "WILL REISER:" "Speaking of..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Is this Hastings?" "This is East Hastings." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "We're right outside the Astoria." "The same location." "WILL REISER:" "Speaking of New Year's, Seth, this exchange we discussed at a New Year's party." "The exchange when, basically, guys stick around at a party waiting all night, just so that they can try and leave with a girl." "Basically that's the whole point." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it's like you have to literally..." "You will get laid if you're the last guy awake." "BEN KARLIN:" "You can't leave." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "The last man standing, yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "It is." "When I was single, yeah, there were times..." "And it would never work." "I'd be up till noon the next day trying to wear a girl down." ""She's gonna have to go to bed sometime, and if I'm there, then..."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "But that theory does not apply to girls that are this pretty, I think." "SETH ROGEN:" "No." "WILL REISER:" "No." "I have to say it has never really..." "I have waited till 6:00, 7:00 in the morning." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, I've waited and won." "WILL REISER:" "And it has never..." " It's never come to fruition." " EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I've waited and I've won," " but again, not with girls that pretty." " SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "WILL REISER:" "I did have girls say, "Do you wanna sleep over?"" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, and they literally just wanna go to sleep." "WILL REISER:" "They just wanna go to sleep." "SETH ROGEN:" "Why don't they just say, "Go home"?" "Why don't they just say, "Leave"?" "What is it about..." "Just tell me to fucking leave." "I'd rather do that than hang out." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Because they wanna know that you're thinking that for the rest of your life." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's the worst." "I'm sorry, am I hurting you?" " No, no, keep going." " Okay." " EVAN GOLDBERG:" "So, Will..." " Yes." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Get into detail about fucking with cancer." "(ALL LAUGH)" "WILL REISER:" "I can say..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Did you not get a boner for eight months because of drugs or something?" "WILL REISER:" "I would say that actually sex was more difficult after the surgery." "SETH ROGEN:" "Than while you were..." "WILL REISER:" "Than while I was..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I'm more interested in, did girls give it their all before the surgery 'cause they were like, "I gotta give it up to this guy" ""because I might be his last."" "SETH ROGEN:" "No, that's not what happened." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It didn't happen." "WILL REISER:" "No, that is not what happened." "That is not what happened." " BEN KARLIN:" "Unfortunately." " WILL REISER:" "It'd be nice if that's what happened." "I wish that there had been a nice party thrown for me." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Did you sleep with a prostitute the night before the surgery?" " Will?" "Will?" " SETH ROGEN:" "I look naked right there." "I took some pictures..." "BEN KARLIN:" "I just wanna point out Seth's socks." "How classy he is to keep the socks on." "SETH ROGEN:" "I did keep the socks on." "That just shows how passionate our lovemaking was." "I couldn't even..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That was something my dad told me." "SETH ROGEN:" "I couldn't even reach down to pull my socks off." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "When I left for university, my dad told me," ""Don't wear just socks around women."" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, they don't like that." "WILL REISER:" "The night before I had my surgery," "I was producing one of those shows at El Cid that I used to do." "And I was in the bathroom with Paul F. Tompkins and I looked over at him and I said," ""Man, this might be the last time you see me peeing standing."" "EVAN GOLDBERG: (LAUGHING) Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "WILL REISER:" "And then I said, "Have a great set up there, Paul."" "SETH ROGEN:" "And was he just like, "Thanks, man"?" "SETH ROGEN:" "And was he just like, "Thanks, man"?" "WILL REISER:" "He's like, "Thanks." "Good luck with that whole cancer..."" "BEN KARLIN:" "I wanna go back to the socks thing for a second." "Did he give you any other advice or that was really it?" ""I got one thing to say to you."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Literally, I was about to turn 18 and he wasn't gonna be there for my birthday and he has a joke where he took my brother to a strip club on his 18th birthday and gave him some fatherly advice." "And he just sat me down, was like, "Never ever touch a pole in a strip club," ""and never be only in socks with a woman."" " I was like, "Thanks, Dad." JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That's good advice." "SETH ROGEN:" "I find only in socks is better than just a T-shirt." "WILL REISER:" "Just a T-shirt is bad, yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That's a good point, yeah." "WILL REISER:" "A man in just a T-shirt is unacceptable." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "What about a T-shirt and socks?" "That's okay for some reason." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That's not like..." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's the worst." "That's the absolute worst." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, socks, shirt and a watch." "SETH ROGEN:" "Just a T-shirt, no underpants and socks is the worst thing." "WILL REISER:" "That's terrible." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "But see, on a girl, that sounds fantastic." "SETH ROGEN:" "On a girl, that sounds great!" "Are you kidding me?" "Yeah." "WILL REISER:" "Honestly, it doesn't matter." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, and a girl could literally be dressed like a fucking crackhead, homeless person and it'll be sexy." "That doesn't matter." "My car is messy." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "People laugh so much at her messy car and I just don't..." "It's a chuckle for sure, but people..." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's 'cause me and you are filthy disgusting animals." "WILL REISER:" "I have to tell you everybody knows that person." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "When you get in their car and they're shitty." "I'm that person." "We're both those people, that's why we don't think it's funny." "WILL REISER:" "I had an ex-girlfriend whose car was like that and it was just piled high." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "My car is way fucking worse than that right now." "WILL REISER:" "It was the most uncomfortable..." "Yeah, your car is disgusting." "SETH ROGEN:" "I think it kind of ties into something that no one ever tells guys when they're young, and I wish they do, and that is, the hotter the girl, the bigger fucking messy slob they probably are." "Almost all hot girls are super messy." "They're cute but they're messy, these girls." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Why wouldn't they be?" "Someone will clean it." "SETH ROGEN:" "Someone will clean their shit up, yeah." "WILL REISER:" "That's why I date them and then I clean their cars." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "That's why they date you, I think." "WILL REISER:" "Yes, that's why they date me, exactly." "To clean their car and fix their problems." "SETH ROGEN:" "But my car has tons of shit around the feet and I got self-conscious about it." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And I even have, off of my grandmother, a little garbage bag hanging from the back of one of the seats." " It overflows." " WILL REISER:" "My father does that." "My father's car is a mess and he has a garbage bag and he never takes out the garbage bag." "So it's just there rotting..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "You have to unclick it, it's a whole thing." "SETH ROGEN:" "This scene, there was a lot of discussion as to different options," "I seem to recall, right?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It was a much longer scene." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, and then we cut out everything that we came up with." "Yeah." "We essentially went back to the script." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "We over-thought." "We over-thought this." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, we over-thought this quite a bit." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "To me, though, the scene is pretty much made by the things that Joe's doing when he's not talking, like stuff like this." " It's great." " EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Because of the looks." "SETH ROGEN:" "This is all green screen, right?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That should be called "The Unspoken Word."" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "The Unspoken Word." "That was the title for about two months." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's a Wu-Tang song." "It's actually a RZA song." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Is it?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Unspoken Word is a RZA song off the album Bobby Digital, Digital Bullet." "BEN KARLIN:" "I remember that we wanted to write this scene again because Anna was so good." "Remember?" "We were like, "We gotta do more."" "And we just tried a million things because we were just so in love." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's true, yeah." "I think it was one of the first scenes we actually shot with her, maybe." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It was early on." "It was before the therapy stuff." "I think the first scene we shot with her was actually the next..." "BEN KARLIN:" "Like a drop off, yeah." "WILL REISER:" "I'd just like to say another great song here." "Gerry Rafferty." "It's another great song." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "The associate producer James Weaver's convinced" " it's the backbone of the entire movie." " WILL REISER:" "It is an amazing song." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Rest in peace, by the way." "This song was in the movie before he passed away" " and then he passed away." " WILL REISER:" "He passed this past January." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yes." "SETH ROGEN:" "Making it only more poignant." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And then here's another ditty by Michael Giacchino, who really enhanced the shit out of our movie and fixed pretty much all our mistakes for us." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "He's a great composer." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "He's essentially the best composer." "SETH ROGEN:" "He did Lost, Alias, and the Pixar films, Up, and some other ones I can't remember off the top of my head." "WILL REISER:" "This is a really nice moment." "I think we should just reflect on that." " JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This is great." " BEN KARLIN:" "This is a beautiful moment." "WILL REISER:" "This is just pretty much these guys kind of running with it." " And I think..." " BEN KARLIN:" "Seth has no heart." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That was one of the most ramshackle shots of the whole movie." "We were like, "Stop right here, by this dumpster." "Let's go."" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, and we were just running around." "And one of the great scenes about that," "I'm a little late on it, but Zene put in the moment where it was just totally real and kind of a fuck up where Joe, the door was locked and he couldn't unlock the door." "And I just thought it was really cool that you don't see stuff like that in movies very often." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "In real life, not all doors open." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "They don't always open." "SETH ROGEN:" "They do for me." "I found that to be bullshit. (LAUGHS)" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This is the first scene we shot with Anna." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's right." " This was good editing from Zene." " JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This never changed." "SETH ROGEN:" "I remember he did this thing where they go back and forth." "He's a good editor." "It's nice." "The park across the street." "That was very important to you for some reason, Levine." " That was hotly debated." " JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You're mistaken." "WILL REISER:" "Should there be a fence?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I didn't like it." "SETH ROGEN:" "You didn't like the park across the street?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "No, I didn't like it." "SETH ROGEN:" "What did you like about this house?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I really liked the inside of the house, and I liked what Annie did with the set decoration on the house." "SETH ROGEN:" "You liked that it was on the corner?" "Was that important to you for some reason?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "No, I think the best thing about the house was the kind of geography of it inside." "SETH ROGEN:" "Inside." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah." "Yeah, and we looked a lot." "It was the relationship between the living room and the bedroom, and it's actually a two-story house that we turned into a one-story house." "BEN KARLIN:" "We just cut the top floor off." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Was it you, Will, who was tormented by the fact that his character couldn't afford this house?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Seattle is a lot cheaper than Vancouver." "WILL REISER:" "No, I wasn't so tormented." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Is Seattle cheaper than Vancouver?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Everything is cheaper than Vancouver." "It's more expensive than New York." "It's more expensive than New York." "SETH ROGEN:" "Hiyo!" "It is the largest predator in the sea." "I thought the deserts were crazy." "The ocean's fucking nuts, man." "I like the trees." "The trees are gonna be bananas." "Jesus!" "(WATER BUBBLING IN BONG)" "(ADAM COUGHING)" "You okay?" " Lift your elbows above your ears." " What are you talking about?" " It helps you stop coughing." " I'm not doing that." "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "I always heard it would help you stop coughing." "I'm just here to pick up my things and then I'll get out of your way." " Yeah, I put all your things in a box." " Okay." "It's outside the door." "You walked right past it." "Oh." "Well, then I guess I'll be on my way." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "So, at this point, I think it's worth noting that Bryce's character was the highest degree of difficulty, I think, of any performance in this movie, because she had to be appealing and you had to not completely hate her" "and not feel like she was a total caricature." "WILL REISER:" "You had to empathize on some level with the fact that she was in a difficult situation." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "BEN KARLIN:" "We went back and forth a lot in how much to kind of tip the hand." "SETH ROGEN:" "There was one line actually that we took out that made a huge difference when, in the scene where I tell them that she's cheating on him and they're sitting on the couch together, and he's like, "Why are you here all the time?"" "And right now she just goes, "'Cause I care about you."" "But before she goes, "'Cause my place is such a mess all the time" ""and because I care about you."" "But taking out, "Because my place is such a mess all the time, "" "really made her character a lot better." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah, and actually Judd Apatow gave us some really good notes on that scene in how to play it against..." "Our instincts were to make her appear villain and it actually helped make her more relatable." "SETH ROGEN:" "Definitely." "WILL REISER:" "I think that was the struggle, all the way through the development of the script and making the movie, was her character." "That was by far the most difficult thing." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And casting it was really hard." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "WILL REISER:" "I mean, Bryce nailed it." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And she gave us so many options as well, as far as what we could do in the editing room with this character." "It was always incredibly technically amazing and heartfelt, and she's just awesome." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's what's so great, is when you have someone like her who really gets the value of having a version where she's bitchier and less bitchy, and kind of disassociating the logic behind it and just understanding that it's helpful to us" "as the guys who have to put the movie together to have those options." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Right." "I feel like, often, actors would probably not wanna do that." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, they would say, "Why does it make sense?" ""Why would it make sense that I'm upset and bitchy in one," ""or I'm this or I'm that?" ""Are you gonna combine them?" And then they get self-conscious that you're gonna try to engineer something or something like that." "But she was not like that at all." "We had a lot of talk about how much he should kiss her back here and how much kissing they should do." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That was serious micromanaging." "WILL REISER:" "And also when he says, "Get the fuck off my porch."" "That was also..." "BEN KARLIN:" "And also the end of the scene when she says about the painting." " We were on this." " SETH ROGEN:" "We were on this shit." "We were all over this shit." "We had no idea which would be the best version till we found it." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And I think it actually helps." "The stuff we did around the scene actually helped us go a little further with the scene." "I think, for a long time, there was a cut of this that was pretty muted." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And once we kind of found Bryce's character, we were able to really follow through on the original intention of the scene." "SETH ROGEN:" "This scene literally came into existence 'cause we're like," ""We need something fun to happen."" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "BEN KARLIN:" "There was a hip-hop version of this scene." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "BEN KARLIN:" "This scene was quite..." "This is something we came up with during production." "SETH ROGEN:" "It actually works pretty well, considering we were literally like," ""The movie's kind of a bummer for too long." ""It would be nice if something fun happened somewhere around here."" "WILL REISER:" "And Jon, you have this whole idea of the way to shoot it by..." "Do you wanna explain what that was?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "We were shooting it overcranked, and this kind of circle dolly, which I really like, and then Zene put the split screen in, which I thought was great as well." "But, yeah, this was another one of those things like shaving the head where we were just doing it real." "And if we fucked it up, we fucked it up." " WILL REISER:" "Doing it real." " SETH ROGEN:" "Doing it real, man." "BEN KARLIN:" "But I think, Seth, you actually hit the painting with the knife." " I did." " BEN KARLIN:" "You had a direct hit." "SETH ROGEN:" "I had a couple." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was really fun." "WILL REISER:" "When Seth was younger, he used to collect weapons." "SETH ROGEN:" "I actually did." "WILL REISER:" "And so he's actually well-versed in how to use..." "SETH ROGEN:" "I'm pretty good." "I can throw a knife." "BEN KARLIN:" "Are you handy with a machete?" "I didn't know that." "WILL REISER:" "He's good with a shiv." "BEN KARLIN:" "I'm going down to Brazil later this year, so I might actually need you." "SETH ROGEN:" "I'll go with you, yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This scene is actually another one of my favorite scenes, and this scene, we did a few different takes that were very similar." "This is a purely improvised scene, I think, Will?" "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And it's improvised based on an idea" "Joe had because we were trying..." "Originally the scene was, I think, Adam bitching about Rachael." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, the girl, yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah." "And we just felt like..." "SETH ROGEN:" "About not getting his dick sucked." "Because one thing this movie needed more of is talk about that." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And then Joe had the idea of..." "He was like, "I'm in radio." ""Why don't we talk about radio?"" "And I thought Philip Baker Hall was just so good." "And then the end of the scene, seeing Matt and his wife together," "I think makes it really nice and emotional." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah, we really needed you to feel the emotional connection between a younger guy and these older people who are actually going through the disease and knowing that the stakes are real." "And this scene kind of was the key for us." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, they were great." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This may be the longest we've spoken about the actual movie." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, I know, we should stop." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You guys hear the Jay-Z, Kanye album?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You guys hear the Jay-Z, Kanye album?" "SETH ROGEN:" "I haven't yet." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's pretty good." "SETH ROGEN:" "I wanna get it." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That's the crane." "That was another crane." "WILL REISER:" "At Pacific General, the most generic hospital name." "SETH ROGEN:" "Pacific General." "WILL REISER:" "Pacific General Hospital." "SETH ROGEN:" "The word "general" is literally in it." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Extremely General Hospital." "SETH ROGEN:" "Extremely General Hospital." "(SIGHING) God." "Sorry about that." "Don't worry about it." "I have parents, too." "Do yours give you migraines?" "Well, I would talk to my therapist about my parents." "Really?" "Yeah, we could do role play." "I'll be your mom." "Oh, God, no." "That's disgusting." "Why is that disgusting?" "Uh..." "No, it's not." "I mean, okay, my mom..." "I don't know." "She's a crazy person." "She just worries all day every day." "And honestly it annoys the shit out of me." "It's way too much." "And it's not helpful and I can't talk to her." "I don't call her back." "It's a problem." "SETH ROGEN:" "I'm stretching." "I'm just letting you guys know that if you hear odd grunting noises from me." "BEN KARLIN:" "We called this scene "the good therapy scene."" "I think it's the only scene that actual therapy takes place out of all the therapy scenes in the movie." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And I remember, Will, you writing it pretty much the night before." "WILL REISER:" "And I feel like I was writing it up till just before we shot it." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's so hard to write and we kept tearing it apart, but it's so hard to write a therapy scene mostly 'cause none of us are fucking therapists." "WILL REISER:" "No, we'd argue." "We would just talk about what she would say." "SETH ROGEN:" "And it just kept sounding like such bullshit." "And like, "It sounds like a fucking movie thing."" "Therapy is so contrived almost, just as a concept in movies." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I've only done therapy once for one session and I found the guy pretty damn good." "WILL REISER:" "Wait, and actually it was interesting..." "BEN KARLIN:" "Actually, that's why they recommend that you just go once." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, exactly." "He was like, "You're fine, you're great, you're perfect."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah." "That's pretty much what went down." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's a bad therapist." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, no." "SETH ROGEN:" "I've known you for a long time." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He nailed it on the head." "SETH ROGEN:" "You are not fine." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "He said, "Your friends are lackluster, and you're doing great."" "SETH ROGEN:" "You are not fine at all." "SETH ROGEN:" "You are not fine at all." "WILL REISER:" "Your friends all sound crazy, as does your family, but you are perfect." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yes." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "So then right after good therapy..." "SETH ROGEN:" "We pull the rug out from under you." "We punch you in the gut emotionally." "BEN KARLIN:" "Where's Matthew Frewer?" "Where's Matthew Frewer?" "SETH ROGEN:" "He's turned into a pink blanket." "(ROGEN CHUCKLING)" "That's what's sitting there." "It is sad." "BEN KARLIN:" "Is the bald lady in this scene?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "No, I don't think she's in this scene." "SETH ROGEN:" "That lady shaved her head." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, she didn't." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yes, she did." "WILL REISER:" "Really?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, man, I talked to her about it." "BEN KARLIN:" "One of the most subtle things in the movie is the fact that when you first meet her," "I don't think she's wearing earphones." "SETH ROGEN:" "And then the second time she is." "BEN KARLIN:" "She's wearing big canned earphones because the guys are so loud and they're talking." "She just wants to knit." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Oh, man!" "So we had a Neil Young song in here." "Which song, Levine?" "SETH ROGEN:" "A great song." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "After the Gold Rush." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And a bunch of young guys in the test screenings were just like," " "Lose that whiny song."" " SETH ROGEN:" "I know." " It's like I've never felt older or lamer." " EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I just wanted to kill." "SETH ROGEN:" "I know." "It really..." "WILL REISER:" "They said it was the worst song they'd ever heard." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's Neil Young." "Those people need to shut up." " The best song they've ever heard." " WILL REISER:" "But also go see our movie." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, those people..." "If you don't like Neil Young, it's too late, 'cause you're listening to the audio commentary." "You're pretty deep into it at this point." "You wouldn't be this far if you really hated us, I guess." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "But this is Giacchino, who, in many ways, the Neil Young of composers." "SETH ROGEN:" "Now, Ben, how did we clear that clip?" "(LAUGHS)" "WILL REISER:" "For those who don't know, Ben created The Colbert Report." "SETH ROGEN:" "He also created volcanoes." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah, yeah." "This is my vacation footage." "SETH ROGEN:" "This is him in Hawaii." "Whose voice is that?" "BEN KARLIN:" "It's a friend of yours." "It's a friend of yours." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, it's not." "It was." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, it's Conrad." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, it's not." "We replaced him." "BEN KARLIN:" "He did the temp track, I think." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah." "BEN KARLIN:" "This is one of the prettier shots in the movie, I have to say." "WILL REISER:" "This shot is also pretty." "BEN KARLIN:" "Now did we destroy this machine" " or did we just..." " WILL REISER:" "We did break that machine." "SETH ROGEN:" "We actually broke that machine." "BEN KARLIN:" "There's one rule." "SETH ROGEN:" "Don't break the $500 million fucking machine." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And actually this poor hospital worker was watching it and you could see it getting so out of hand as grips were filing in and out of the room." "And I think she shed some tears over that machine." "BEN KARLIN:" "It is such a weird thing because they so wanted us to be there, but they were so terrified that we were gonna damage their machine and we damaged their machine." "WILL REISER:" "I like how the only hospital we could get to let us shoot there" " was far, far away from Vancouver." "Itjust..." " SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it's in Delta." "WILL REISER:" "It's in Delta." "Yeah, it was the furthest point we could have possibly gone." "I think it was at the border." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was in the middle of a field." "It was like you drove through farmland for 10 minutes." "WILL REISER:" "We were in marshland." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, there's bunnies everywhere." "WILL REISER:" "We found some community hospital." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I had a family friend who worked at that hospital and just showed up." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's funny." "BEN KARLIN:" "It's a great story." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That is my whole story." "SETH ROGEN:" "Get more of those." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "His name was Brandon." "BEN KARLIN:" "That's not even an anecdote." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Listen, we're getting close to the end." "WILL REISER:" "Do you remember that when we were shooting at that house, that there was a whole contingent of neighbors who were rallying against trying to get us out of the neighborhood?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, and then every day," "I would have to go to someone's house for 25 minutes and take pictures with them and their children to try to win the good graces of the neighborhood over." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "See, I thought you just enjoyed that." "SETH ROGEN:" "No!" "Not at all." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Thanks to the city of..." "Where the fuck were we?" "BEN KARLIN:" "Burnaby." "SETH ROGEN:" "Burnaby, yeah." "WILL REISER:" "Much respect to the Burnaby..." "SETH ROGEN:" "We were on the other side of Boundary." " This scene's very emotionally intense." " BEN KARLIN:" "Emotional." "We should also point out that we were shooting this" " during the Winter Olympics." " SETH ROGEN:" "We were." "BEN KARLIN:" "And remember the time when the plane..." "There was a bunch of planes or helicopters flying overhead." "And our line producer, Shawn Williamson, had his hero moment of all hero moments where he called a friend and got them to send the helicopter away." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, that was pretty amazing." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And he really did it, like, "Hey, it's Shawn." ""Can you get those helicopters out of the way?" "Thanks."" "SETH ROGEN:" "And then they just flew away." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "What would have been really cool is if he ended the day with "Bring one back, " and just got in it and flew away." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "There was also, I think, in Burnaby, a burning building." "There was a fire at our location." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I went to watch it happening." "SETH ROGEN:" "They saved it, right?" "BEN KARLIN:" "That's the difference between various levels of crew." "They go toward the fire." "WILL REISER:" "Our PA ran into a burning house or something and told the people to get out." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's impressive." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "What was really impressive was actually watching firemen stop a fire." "They really know what they're doing." "SETH ROGEN:" "They have hoses." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "They're cheating." "WILL REISER:" "Seth, didn't your driver punch some dude in the face?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, that was insane!" "WILL REISER:" "We were shooting downtown." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, we were filming in Gastown, which is really a pretty sketchy area still." "WILL REISER:" "There's a lot of crackheads, a lot of crackheads." "WILL REISER:" "There's a lot of crackheads, a lot of crackheads." "SETH ROGEN:" "And I was in a minivan being driven from set to hair and makeup, of which I need much of." "We were stuck in traffic and beside us there was like a crackhead dude clearly breaking into a car, and a cop, literally as we were right beside them in traffic, a cop came up and tried to stop the crackhead guy." "And the crackhead guy just turned around and started beating the shit out of the cop." "Just pummeling him." "And so my driver got out of the car and grabbed the crackhead and threw him on the ground" " and like beat..." " WILL REISER:" "Punched him in the face." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, and he goes, "What should I do?" And I was like, "I don't know!"" "And then he punched him in the face a few times and stood on him until a bunch of other cops showed up." "WILL REISER:" "And I thought it was interesting 'cause the crackhead looked up and recognized you and said, "Hey, big fan."" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly." "No, but what did happen is there was a huge group of people gathering around, obviously, and the cops came and they go to the driver, like," ""We need to take you to the police station and get your statement."" "And in front of everyone he goes, "I can't do that right now."" "And he points at me and he goes, "I gotta get this guy to hair and makeup."(LAUGHS)" "And then he jumps in the van and he drove me to hair and makeup." "WILL REISER:" "Hero." "SETH ROGEN:" "Where I got base put on." "And I got some mascara." "He was a hero." "He was a goddamn hero." "I would sing a song about a hero, but we won't be able to clear it." "But those songs would be Hero by Enrique Iglesias, that would be one of them." "That song at the end of Spider-Man." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, that one's good." "BEN KARLIN:" "There's a Foo Fighters song." "Isn't there a Foo Fighter's song?" "WILL REISER:" "Let's not forget David Bowie." "SETH ROGEN:" "David Bowie, again, we can't sing any of them." "BEN KARLIN:" "I think that song is called Heroes." "SETH ROGEN:" "That song is called Heroes, yeah." "BEN KARLIN:" "And there's I Need a Hero." "Isn't that Bonnie Tyler?" "SETH ROGEN:" "I Need a Hero by Bonnie Tyler, that would be another good one." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Greatest American Hero." "SETH ROGEN:" "The theme song to The Greatest American Hero." "That would be a good one, too." "WILL REISER:" "I think he also said that that was the first time he had ever punched someone." "SETH ROGEN:" "As was displayed by his horrifically broken knuckle." "WILL REISER:" "Really?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "He had dropped me off and he was like, "That didn't go so bad."" "And I saw his hand, it was like..." "Ugh!" "It was totally fucked up." "BEN KARLIN:" "This right here, I think, is one of the nicest moments in the movie, right here coming up when she kind of nudges toward him." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's very well-written." "BEN KARLIN:" "It's a subtle moment as well." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "On the regional screening reports, it is always said to be one of the best." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, the regions love it." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Every region." "BEN KARLIN:" "Here it comes, here it comes." "Wait for it." "Just a little scooch." "Just a little scooch." "Here it comes." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I never noticed it." "BEN KARLIN:" "It's coming." "BEN KARLIN:" "Boom." "See that?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That's a big scooch." "SETH ROGEN:" "That was a pretty big scooch." "BEN KARLIN:" "That was like 7 inches." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "A power move." "SETH ROGEN:" "That was a shuffle." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Look." "Anjelica Huston first did that move in The Grifters." "Anyway, I will cut to the chase." "The cancer is not responding to the chemo." "SETH ROGEN:" "Oh, man." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, let's just watch the next 25 minutes in silence." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "BEN KARLIN:" "This is what's called the plot point, I believe." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah." "BEN KARLIN:" "They're transitioning into the third act of the film." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I think we're in the third act." "I think we're in the third act." "Will, where does the third act start?" " WILL REISER:" "It's hard to say." " (ALL LAUGH)" "SETH ROGEN:" "Will, you had a seven-act structure." "WILL REISER:" "Yes." "BEN KARLIN:" "First-time screenwriter Will Reiser, what act are we in?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "WILL REISER:" "This is Act 7-D." "SETH ROGEN:" "Unconventional seven-act structure." "WILL REISER:" "We're in the third act." "This news that he needs surgery is what leads us into the third act." "SETH ROGEN:" "Very good." "You pass." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Correct." "SETH ROGEN:" "Syd Field would be proud." "That is, Syd Field." "That is, Syd Field." "That was an ADR line, added to remind the audience that the surgery is tomorrow." "That's a little behind-the-scenes look at film making. (CHUCKLES)" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This is a night where we had to be serious." "SETH ROGEN:" "We did have to be kind of serious." "WILL REISER:" "This was a big deal." "Big, big acting for Joe." "SETH ROGEN:" "It always makes me uncomfortable where, as an actor," "I'm acting with someone who has to do something serious, 'cause I'm always afraid I'm gonna ruin it." "BEN KARLIN:" "And we were shooting in the biggest park in Vancouver, and we shut down part of it to shoot." "WILL REISER:" "It was 10 degrees." "SETH ROGEN:" "Stanley Park." "It was cold." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It was cold." "And it was a lot to shoot in one night and we actually..." "For the first time, we're not worried about going into overtime, but we're actually worried about the sun coming up." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." " And we did good, though." " BEN KARLIN:" "And there was a stunt, too." "There was a stunt involved." "SETH ROGEN:" "We hit a bike rack." "Does Seattle have a seawall?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "No." "SETH ROGEN:" "It does now." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Man, all the people from Vancouver are like," ""So it takes place in Vancouver." "I saw the trailer."" "SETH ROGEN:" "We did digitally add the fucking Space Needle." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, another waste of money, probably." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "I literally didn't even notice it until maybe..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Actually I noticed it earlier." "BEN KARLIN:" "I don't think I've ever noticed it." " Is it in the opening?" " EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah." "Or not in the opening." "It was..." "When was it?" "SETH ROGEN:" "It looks great." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It's the helicopter shot that moved in through the Space Needle and then into his eye." "BEN KARLIN:" "How did I not notice that?" "SETH ROGEN:" "The one that starts inside the middle of the Space Needle." "No, it's the one where he's jogging in the light" " and he's waiting for the light to change." " BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This is, Seth, one of my favorite improvised lines from you." "The "make-a-wish" line." "SETH ROGEN:" "The "make-a-wish" line." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yes." "SETH ROGEN:" "I'm glad Make-A-Wish didn't sue us for making that joke." "BEN KARLIN:" "I think it's very insightful into your character, Seth, that your fantasy is having sex while skydiving." "SETH ROGEN:" "To me, that's the peak." "BEN KARLIN:" "You gotta keep those things separate." "On their own, they're good." "That's the pinnacle of self-indulgence." "WILL REISER:" "When I was sick, Seth would tell me that all the time." "SETH ROGEN:" "I did." "Let's just do it." "We know hookers, we got airplanes." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I don't know what you have to type to see it, but there is a video of two people 69ing out of an airplane." "They 69, they fuck for three seconds and then they separate." "SETH ROGEN:" "Wow." "The fact that that guy can maintain an erection while skydiving is really impressive." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Man, you clearly haven't been skydiving." "Instant boner." "SETH ROGEN:" "It is sexy." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "The sexiest fucking thing you'll ever do." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "The wind rushing against your dick." "SETH ROGEN:" "It just makes me hard thinking about skydiving." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "SETH ROGEN:" "The wind flapping against your skin." "A man strapped to your back." "BEN KARLIN:" "I like the way our conversation syncs up perfectly with what's going on on-screen." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "We are actually watching the movie, just so people know." "BEN KARLIN:" "We are absolutely." "SETH ROGEN:" "I just got kicked out of a car." "BEN KARLIN:" "This was a much debated moment right here." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This was..." "We just had to find it." "It's pretty great." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, he really gives it there." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, he does it." "And as a director, when someone's doing something like this, you feel really bad that they have to do this." "So you don't make them do it too much, at least I don't." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, at least you don't." "Some directors have the exact opposite philosophy on something like that." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "In eight years, when you're a huge asshole director with a mega hit..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, you'll be like, "The fun thing about a scene like this" ""is making the actor do it over and over and over again."" "You literally see them crumble emotionally in front of you." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "But Joe did do it three times, I think, and every time was great." "WILL REISER:" "And we shot it at 5:00 in the morning and Anna stayed up so that she could actually talk to him on the phone." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That's a classy move." "WILL REISER:" "Classy move." "BEN KARLIN:" "And he returned the favor 'cause these were not shot at the same time." "WILL REISER:" "She waited up for him." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Not simultaneously shot." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Levine, wasn't it three weeks later that we shot her side of this conversation in just a big empty room in the corner?" "BEN KARLIN:" "Of the hospital, yes." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yes." " Not the hospital..." " WILL REISER:" "It was an office building." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "The same place that her therapy room is." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, exactly, where the therapy room is." "Sorry." "SETH ROGEN:" "You guys done now?" "Making me look like a fucking idiot in my own movie." "I went home." "I wasn't there for any of this." "I was like, "Could you guys shoot me out?"" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This scene, some of the stuff in the car, we did at a later time, too." "Some of the driving stuff." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, there's stuff of me being like," ""What are you doing, you idiot?" Yeah." "That was way later." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "The magic of the movies." "SETH ROGEN:" "The magic of film." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "All comes together seamlessly." "SETH ROGEN:" "This is nice Michael Giacchino music." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, you can tell he's good when three times in this audio commentary, we've all just stopped because..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, just to listen to his music." "This reminds you of when Sawyer opens the hatch." "(ROGEN SNICKERS)" "BEN KARLIN:" "We should also point out that it's 8:30 in the morning." "SETH ROGEN:" "It is very early where we are." "BEN KARLIN:" "It's not a game." "This is..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's 8:30 in the morning." "We've been drunk for hours." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "You guys were up all night?" "SETH ROGEN:" "No." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I wanted to sound cool, Levine, and you just had to fucking point it out." "SETH ROGEN:" "I was up till 1:00 in the morning watching Project Runway with my girlfriend, though." "WILL REISER:" "I like Project Runway." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "You know what I watched yesterday?" "SETH ROGEN:" "I do, too." "It's creative." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Dance Moms." "SETH ROGEN:" "Dance Moms?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "They have their daughters in dance classes and they're overbearing American mothers trying to force their kids to be the best." "SETH ROGEN:" "That sounds sexy." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No." "SETH ROGEN:" "I'm not joking." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I'm not joking." "SETH ROGEN:" "I'm just not joking." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Tell me more." "SETH ROGEN:" "Describe it slowly." "How much are the moms watching the dance class?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "This is Seth wasted, or is he acting?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Uh-oh!" "Acting alert!" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Oh, no!" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This is also..." "That first part was additional photography." "SETH ROGEN:" "Not a re-shoot which implies..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Not a re-shoot." "SETH ROGEN:...we made a mistake." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This was original." "SETH ROGEN:" "Digital photography." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "The real mistake is right before this, you're pretty sober, and now you're just wasted." "SETH ROGEN:" "You shoot out of order sometimes." "I blame Levine for that." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Look, that's not my fault." "What I will say is that, haven't you been really drunk?" "You're out in an adrenaline-filled situation and then later you get drunker and tired." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, and then I came down." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I buy that." "SETH ROGEN:" "Maybe I had a few more beers." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I'm back to thinking you're a good director." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Thank you." "SETH ROGEN:" "This was nice." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I would say this is why the movie got financed, pretty much, this moment." "SETH ROGEN:" "What's nice about this moment for me as an actor, is it's my entire emotional redemption." "I just have to lay on the fucking couch with my eyes closed." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I'll never forget when Will found the book that Seth and I had been making all our notes in." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "EVAN GOLDBERG: 'Cause he realized how much we love him." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly!" "That's when he realized that we're not just assholes." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No, in real life there was no redemption." "Making this movie is the redemption." "WILL REISER:" "Literally, I found a porn in Seth's bathroom, and on the top it said, "Remember to call Will."" "SETH ROGEN:" "I glued your face onto one of the girls, I think, right?" "BEN KARLIN:" "It's very hard to find a book that's already pre-marked up." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly." "BEN KARLIN:" "So, you guys really lucked out." "SETH ROGEN:" "We did." "This was nice." "Some Vancouver rain." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I remember, Levine, you were worried about that." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "What?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "This rain." "Or was it the rain..." "WILL REISER:" "It was just 'cause it was raining..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "No, I was worried about the rain." "For the first scene, it was raining and I was there at 6:00 in the morning, and you guys got there at 6:30 in the morning or something like that." "And for that half-hour, I was like, "We can't fucking shoot this." "It's not..."" "And then, you guys got there and you were like, "It's Vancouver." "Wait 10 minutes."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "And it cleared up, right?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It did." "It did clear up." "SETH ROGEN:" "We just pulled that out of our ass." "That's just what you say to a director, no matter what, as the producer." ""Just wait 10 minutes, it'll be fine."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Look at that dog's majestic tail." "SETH ROGEN:" "Look how well he protects his butthole." "You know why?" "'Cause he knows I'm off-camera waiting for him." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Great bestiality joke." "SETH ROGEN:" "This song's great." "What is the name of this song?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This is called The Other Side of Mt." "Heart Attack." "This is another song that was in Zene's original cut." "BEN KARLIN:" "Zene Baker." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And the band again." "What's the band?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "They're great." "SETH ROGEN:" "They're just really good." "They're so good, we shouldn't even name them." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I don't even wanna talk about it." "SETH ROGEN:" "Why do it?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I don't know." "SETH ROGEN:" "They don't need more." "BEN KARLIN:" "How much wood did he have on his porch?" "I don't think there's even a fireplace in that house." "I don't think there's a fireplace." "SETH ROGEN:" "Is there a time where he's chopping wood?" "We should have had a wood-chopping scene." "WILL REISER:" "In real life, I am an avid wood chopper." "SETH ROGEN:" "You don't even burn it." "You just chop it." "WILL REISER:" "So, I wrote that..." "SETH ROGEN:" "You sell it." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, I just..." "I know." "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "All Canadians keep a pile of wood on their front porch." "BEN KARLIN:" "So here's a piece of movie magic coming up." "The woman in the extreme background, who is playing the mom, right there, is not Anjelica Huston." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That is not Anjelica Huston." "Using face-replacement technology, we put Anjelica Huston's face on that woman." "SETH ROGEN:" "No, you didn't." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "No, we didn't." "BEN KARLIN:" "Not that she didn't wanna fly back up to Vancouver." "SETH ROGEN:" "To wave 80 yards away." "We know that you're done." " That's not actually me, either." " EVAN GOLDBERG:" "So we really debated if they should kiss in this scene." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly." "We shot a few..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This was actually..." "Evan had the idea, after we had shot the close-ups..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Hell, yeah, dude." " ...to have Joe hug Seth, which was..." " SETH ROGEN:" "That was a good idea." "It's what Evan's always wanted to do to me." "He just hasn't had the strength." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Shh!" "Not here." "Not now." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And so..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Not like this." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "And so we only had the hug in that one shot, unfortunately." "SETH ROGEN:" "We did." "I remember Judd's note was," "SETH ROGEN:" "We did." "I remember Judd's note was," ""You just need to be in the car for that hug."" "We're like, "That would've been great, if we had thought of it" ""when we were still filming in the car."" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's really funny, when Judd watched it, how he just couldn't fathom how little money we had." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, exactly." "Every time he was like, "Well, use this."" "We're like, "No, we don't have that." "We pretty much have this."" "The real budget of the movie was, what," " $8 million?" " WILL REISER: $8 million." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "I think maybe less." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, maybe less." "And just to put that in perspective, a movie like Superbad costs $20 million." "And a movie like Transformers cost $250 million." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Transformers cost $94 billion." "SETH ROGEN:" "Basically, Bumblebee's left fucking nut cost more money to render digitally than this movie cost to make." "BEN KARLIN:" "There is more emotion in that nut." "If you'd said the right nut, I would have said not worth it." "SETH ROGEN:" "Does Bumblebee have nuts in the new Transformers?" "I haven't seen it yet." "This part's really great." "It's very emotionally..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Joe really is fucking..." "BEN KARLIN:" "And this was I think, Seth..." "I think, Seth, you kind of saved this scene because we always were debating how much dad should talk." "And then we gave..." "I think we gave his lines to Joe." "We gave the dad's lines to Joe, and it totally made the scene work." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it's..." "I don't like to go there." "BEN KARLIN:" "A lot of people don't know Seth Rogen, producer extraordinaire." "SETH ROGEN:" "Extraordinaire." "BEN KARLIN:" "Extraordinaire." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's what it says on my chair." "BEN KARLIN:" "Instincts." "SETH ROGEN:" "Extraordinary instincts." "This dude is in..." "I was watching the movie Max Payne recently, and I believe this gentleman in the background plays a cop in that film." "BEN KARLIN:" "I just wanna commend us on our ethnically diverse hospital population." "SETH ROGEN:" "It is." "It may be the most ethnically diverse hospital in the universe." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That was in the ethnicity meeting." "SETH ROGEN:" "We have a Filipino doctor now." "Could you just wait a moment, please?" "The song is really something." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That's a real killer fucking moment, right there." "WILL REISER:" "And then they're like, "No, we can't wait." "Sorry."" "SETH ROGEN:" "This is when a lot of people start crying, from what I understand." "If I had emotions, now is when I would start crying, I think." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Even on set, which..." "Our set was pretty loose and fun..." "SETH ROGEN:" "This was intense." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This was really intense and really good." "WILL REISER:" "I could actually not watch this being filmed." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "No." "All of us jokers made sure to get out of the way when this happened." "SETH ROGEN:" "I know." "I was at home that day." "BEN KARLIN:" "I think that you guys did go home." "SETH ROGEN:" "I think we actually did go home." "WILL REISER:" "I definitely could not be there for that." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's our best skill as producers just knowing which scenes we'll ruin by being there." "BEN KARLIN:" "This is my favorite right here." "This is pure Levine right here." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "The fucking light on him is unbelievable." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's unbelievable." "This is nice." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's a real Levine, you're right." "SETH ROGEN:" "You Levine-d the shit out of this." "I can smell the Levine on that shot." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah, it's just fucking stinking." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's stinking of Levine." "It was during this movie I became obsessed with Dwell magazine 'cause they were in this movie." "I'm serious." "I'm not joking." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Are you actually not joking?" "SETH ROGEN:" "I actually got a subscription for it." "WILL REISER:" "Did you really?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, it's a great interior design magazine." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "What hospital has Dwell magazine?" "SETH ROGEN:" "The fucking hippest hospital in the universe." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Let's talk more about interior design." "SETH ROGEN:" "Shut up." "BEN KARLIN:" "We had a technical advisor, and this is all authentic stuff you're watching right now." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "If it wasn't, it's fucking creative as hell, whoever came up with it." "SETH ROGEN:" "Where did we get that shot of inside..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Isn't that yours?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Is that your surgery?" "WILL REISER:" "No, that shot..." "Levine, do you remember?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "That's just footage." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "You guys don't remember what I had to go through for that shit?" "WILL REISER:" "Honestly, I thought that was..." "The only footage we could get was of someone's colonoscopy or something." "BEN KARLIN:" "Was that Katie Couric's colonoscopy?" "SETH ROGEN:" "I think it was." "We got that?" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "She was kind enough to donate that to the film." "SETH ROGEN:" "That was nice." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "You really had to go through a crazy-ass thing." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "You really had to go through a crazy-ass thing." "WILL REISER:" "It was not fun." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "But we're having fun now." "WILL REISER:" "Well, you are." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I always was." "That's what I'm saying." "SETH ROGEN:" "At Will's expense." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "This scene, I think, was a late addition to the script." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Without this scene, this shit would be too sad." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, we thought it would be nice to have them all meet in some capacity." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah." "I think it was when the cast came together." "We have you..." "SETH ROGEN:" "This is very Kubrickian." "This is very..." "The bathroom scene in The Shining, how you shot this scene right here." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "The blocking just worked out really nicely." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yes." "SETH ROGEN:" "I like it." "It's bold to do the full..." "Look at that, boom!" "BEN KARLIN:" "There's some fine non-verbal acting coming up between Seth and Anjelica." "SETH ROGEN:" "I would say some fine non-verbal acting from Anjelica and some slightly broad acting from Seth. (CHUCKLES)" "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Seth, were you nervous about being in a scene with Anjelica?" "I think this is the first scene you were in with her." "Maybe the only one." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, I was." "I always get like social anxiety more than anything when I film scenes." "It's not like..." "I'm not actually nervous about the acting." "I'm nervous about what are we gonna talk about all day while we're sitting beside each other." "But she's cool as shit, so..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "That's why you're all about houses and interior design and shit, 'cause you're always acting with these older people" " and that's what they like to talk about." " SETH ROGEN:" "That's what we talk about." "EVAN GOLDBERG: 'Cause Seth is like a good seven years ahead of all his friends into the homeownership game." "SETH ROGEN:" "It's a common thread." "WILL REISER:" "But Anjelica, talking to her..." "BEN KARLIN:" "She has so many amazing stories." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Her dad, "And I went to this place with Jack, "" "and you're like "Jack who?"" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, she's great." "I really..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "She's cool." "But he's gonna be okay." "And she cries in every scene." "SETH ROGEN:" "Really well." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, it makes me think that at any moment she'll be like, "I'm bored." ""I'm gonna go do one of the best roles in a movie somewhere."" "SETH ROGEN:" "She hugged me there." "That was nice." "I enjoyed it." "Now, in real life, right after your surgery what happened, Raisin?" "WILL REISER:" "The moment I came out of surgery..." "I woke up." "I was in excruciating pain." "And I just kept saying, "Pain, pain, pain, " over and over." "And all the doctor wanted to know is if I can move my legs." "SETH ROGEN:" "That's a valid concern." "WILL REISER:" "And then they gave me a lot of morphine." "SETH ROGEN:" "And then you felt cool." "WILL REISER:" "And then I felt cool." "SETH ROGEN:" "And then I came..." "WILL REISER:" "You came my third day I was in the hospital and I was miserable." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, you were fucked up." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah." "BEN KARLIN:" "How long were you in the hospital after the surgery?" "WILL REISER:" "Do you remember, Seth?" "Was it eight days?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Something like that." "WILL REISER:" "But I was on morphine for the first two days, and then they're like, "You can't continue to take morphine."" "SETH ROGEN:" "I remember I literally couldn't even say you look good." "It's your instinct when you go to see your friend in the hospital." "You'll be like, "Man, you look great." I couldn't even get the words out." "I was like, "You look really fucked up." You didn't look good." "You looked miserable." "And I remember, me and Dave walked in the door." "And the first thing you said, you looked at us and you said," ""You literally could not have come at a worse time."" "WILL REISER:" "It was horrible." "I remember the doctor telling me about the surgery before." "And he was like, "Yeah, you know, we'll just take out the tumor" ""and you'll be out of the hospital and walking in a few days" ""and it'll be really easy." And I thought, "Okay, great." "That sounds perfect."" "I had no idea it was gonna be so fucking miserable." "SETH ROGEN:" "That probably isn't helpful information before the fact." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "What about the other part, about when..." "WILL REISER:" "It's true, you don't really wanna hear," ""Listen, you might be crippled."" "SETH ROGEN:" "It's gonna fuck you up for a good eight days." "You'll wanna kill yourself." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, you're gonna have to learn how to walk again." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Did you like learning how to walk when you were younger?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Remember being able to pee whenever you want?" "But what happened was, me and Dave came and visited you, and I think it was Dave or me who kept kicking your catheter tube that was tugging on your..." "WILL REISER:" "Yeah, no, I was on painkillers, but I remember," "I felt this tugging sensation and I was really out of it and I just looked over and I looked at you guys." "I said, "Are you guys kicking my catheter?"" "and I looked at you guys." "I said, "Are you guys kicking my catheter?"" "And you guys had kicked the bottle." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was like right at our knee level, and we kept kneeing it as we were..." "It's like a jug of urine, and you kept knocking it and it was just tugging on my..." "She does it all the time." "This is like Saw shit." "Your words are so comforting." "It's really reassuring." "SETH ROGEN:" "It was nice of Keanu Reeves to come film this scene." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "When he does his impersonation of you at the beginning, it's a Keanu Reeves impersonation." "EVAN GOLDBERG: (GROANING) Oh, my God!" "I'm inside of you!" " Wait, wait, wait." "Is that your finger?" " What?" " Is that your finger?" " No." " There's Q-tips." " I know." "I got one." " That was your finger." " It wasn't." "What?" "Is it bad if it was?" "Did you wash your hands?" "It was a Q-tip the whole time." "Don't worry about it." "This looks like Kuato from Total Recall." " "The oxygen." (LAUGHING)" " No!" "Don't do that." "(GROANS IN DISGUST)" "Can we get this going?" "It's 7:30 now." "Come on, put the bandage on." "Excuse me." "And you are ready for your date." "All right-y, there we go." "That's crazy." "I look pretty good." " I'd fuck you." " Thanks." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "We should note that this ending was not the original ending." "I think the original ending is going on the DVD." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, we had an original ending where he learns to drive, like anyone gave a fuck about that." "(CHUCKLES)" "And it was just weird." "It just didn't work that well..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "It didn't work." "I don't think..." "Yeah." "SETH ROGEN:" "His wig looked weird." "He kind of looked gamier than he did when he was sick, honestly." "WILL REISER:" "He had that cane." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, he had a cane." "He just looked a little jacked up." "And it just wasn't that good." "And then we thought maybe this could be a lot better." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "We tested the movie, and I think everyone wanted a resolution with Anna because that's a relationship that people were really invested in." "So we had to find a way to do that without being super fucking cheesy about it, too." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And I remember people wanted a kiss, and Joe flatly said," ""Not doing it."" "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "WILL REISER:" "I don't think any of us wanted it." "I think we were all against it." "SETH ROGEN:" "The studio was pushing for a kiss, but we..." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I just loved that." "We would have had to argue but Joe was like, "I physically will not kiss this person."" "SETH ROGEN:" "But..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Not because he didn't find Anna attractive, and by the way, in this scene, I think Anna looks very cute." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, she looks great, but I think 'cause he knows that it's better to not put that tight a bow on it." "WILL REISER:" "It's not about that." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's not about that." "What's gonna happen in the sequel if they kiss now?" "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "You just wanna see him look happy like that." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "And here's some goddamn Pearl Jam." "WILL REISER: 'Cause for those who don't know, the sequel is about Seth's character." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It's called What I Learned from Adam." "WILL REISER:" "And How to Get Rid of Crabs." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "So, Levine, have a good day." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "It was a delight." "SETH ROGEN:" "Any closing comments from anybody?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "I wanna thank Dunwitty Jones." "That's all I got." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Dunwitty Jones." "SETH ROGEN:" "Will, why don't you close it down?" "WILL REISER:" "I hope you enjoyed this DVD commentary." "I did." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Say something funnier, though." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, you gotta end on a better line than that." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Connect it to cancer and make it emotional and funny." "SETH ROGEN:" "Make it emotional and poignant and resonant, but funny also." "BEN KARLIN:" "And also, single, Will, or no?" " Are you single?" " WILL REISER:" "I am single." " I am single." " BEN KARLIN:" "Wow." "WILL REISER:" "I don't know when this DVD comes out..." "SETH ROGEN:" "So why don't you just give your phone number out?" "WILL REISER:" "E-mail, phone number..." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Or if you like this movie..." "SETH ROGEN:" "Yeah, just call Will." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Just do it." " Are you on Facebook?" " WILL REISER:" "You can find me on LinkedIn." "(ALL LAUGHING HEARTILY)" "SETH ROGEN:" "They have a Jewish comedy writer section now, I think." "BEN KARLIN:" "Yeah." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Yeah, if you like Jews and if you like comedy, you'll love Will." "SETH ROGEN:" "Exactly." "All right, that's it." "Let's end it." "BEN KARLIN:" "It's a real pleasure." "I love you guys." "SETH ROGEN:" "I love you guys." "This has been great." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Now we have our full day ahead of us 'cause it's 9:42 right now." "SETH ROGEN:" "All right, thanks." " BEN KARLIN:" "Jonathan." " Yeah." " BEN KARLIN:" "You're awesome." " Yeah." "And so are you, man." "You really are." "SETH ROGEN:" "We don't have to wait till the end." "We can just end it now." "JONATHAN LEVINE:" "Can we stop now?" "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "Let's just keep trailing on." "SETH ROGEN:" "We're done." "EVAN GOLDBERG:" "The end." "BEN KARLIN:" "We have five minutes of useable material."