"Previously on the affair..." "Welcome to the end of the world." "Do you remember the first time you saw her?" "Like it was yesterday." "I'm noah, by the way." "What are we talking about?" "Noah's new book." "Great." "I didn't know." "There was enough to talk about yet." "Well," "I haven't really gotten too far with it." "Is she flirting with you?" "Do you want to get out of here?" "I don't want to divorce you, you asshole!" "What... what do you want?" "I want you to come home." "It's extraordinary." "I want it in stores by next fall." "I don't want this life." "I have to leave." "I'm in love with someone else." "You have chosen to divorce." "In what I like to call a humane way." "I blew up my life for you, alison." "I don't belong to you." "We're not living in your book." "You can't..." "Control me." "I'm pregnant." "I don't know who joanie's father is." "I never want to see you again." "And I thought she had done it deliberately." "To trap me, make sure I could never go back to you." "Fuck!" "It was a deer." "It was a deer!" "Alison, if I don't do something," "They're gonna convict me." "I know, just..." "Just tell the truth." "Your honor," "I'm guilty." "I killed scott lockhart." "What the hell are you doing?" "Sit down." "Ready to go?" "Hey." "Hi." "Hey." "How are you feeling?" "I'm fine." "Thou preparest a table before me." "In the presence of mine enemies." "Thou anointest my head with oil." "My cup runneth over." "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me." "All the days of my life," "And I will dwell in the house of the lord forever." "We will conclude our service with a eulogy." "I now invite arthur's son," "Noah solloway," "To share some remembrances of his beloved father." "Um..." "Those of you who knew my dad will... will know." "That we didn't always get along so well." "But I-i loved him." "I did love him." "Wh-when I was a boy..." "He used to take me fishing in the... in the lake." "Behind the house where we grew up, and..." "Well, we both really enjoyed that." "My sister was..." "She and my dad were very close." "I think she was..." "She was more his type." "But then she left." "Heh." "That was a hard time." "That was a hard time." "He had a... he had a hard life." "At least I think he did." "To be... to be honest, I-i never really knew him." "Um..." "I always wanted to ask more questions." "You always think there's gonna be... more time, but..." "Thank you for coming." "Thank you, mr." "Solloway, for those, um, words." "We will now conclude our service by singing, at his request," "Arthur's favorite song," ""take me out to the ball game."" "Thank you for telling that story, estelle." "It was beautiful." "I'm sorry." "What is the matter with you?" "Nothing." "Hey, there's your dad." "Hey." "Hey." "Thanks for coming." "I think granddad would have liked that." "Short and sweet." "No bullshit." "Hel... helen, thank you so much for coming." "You didn't have to do that." "Well, I knew your father for 30 years," "And you know, where else would I be?" "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Come here, sweetie." "You haven't returned any of my calls." "I know." "Why not?" "I don't know." "I... we need to talk." "About what?" "About what we're doing." "About what our new arrangement's going to be." "Are you still living at your sister's?" "Yes." "Well, will you be getting." "A place of your own?" "Eventually." "Do... i don't..." "Don't you want someplace." "Where you can be with the kids?" "They can come to nina's." "I mean alone." "I don't think they want to be alone with me." "That's ridiculous." "You're their father." "Stacey's afraid of me." "She's not afraid of you." "She's uncomfortable 'cause she hasn't seen you in three years." "That's why you need to spend time with her." "Okay, I'm trying." "I swear I am." "It's just... it's... it's been..." "It's been two months." "Just give me a break, will ya?" "Um..." "What about us?" "What about us?" "Excuse me." "Here." "We got it." ""Everyone the father gives to me will come to me."" "I will never turn away anyone who believes in me." "He who raised Jesus christ from the dead." "Will also give new life to our mortal bodies." "Through his indwelling spirit." "My heart, therefore, is glad," "And my spirit rejoices." "My body also shall rest in hope." "You will show me the path of life." "In your presence there is fullness of joy," ""And in your right hand are pleasures forevermore."" "noah!" "Noah!" "Noah!" ""The lord lift up his countenance upon him." "And give him peace."" "Amen." "Amen." "Amen." "Thank you so much for coming." "Thanks." "Yes, of course." "Thank you." "You okay?" "That was a lovely service, nina." "Your father would be pleased." "Thanks." "You're coming back to the house, though, aren't you?" "I don't know." "Come on." "The kids, they haven't seen each other in forever." "Mine are so looking forward to it." "Do you think we should come back to the house?" "Only if you want to." "It's a school night, so... right." "This one time." "Their grandfather just died." "The... the kids should be together." "Nina, she gave her answer." "We should go." "Okay." "Martin needs more time with his homework this semester." "Because he's been coming home with cs and ds," "And if he fails out of another school," "He won't get into college." "Thank you for coming." "Helen." "It was good to see you." "His adviser wants to have." "A parent-teacher conference next week." "I think you should be there too." "When is it?" "It's thursday at four." "Okay, I'll try." "Let's go, mom." "Martin, come and say good-bye to your father." "Martin, did you hear me?" "I said, "come and say good-bye to your... "." "Don't make him, helen." "Please." "You have a lovely home." "Thank you." "It's not mine." "You're not the husband?" "I'm sorry, whose husband?" "I thought you were nina's husband." "No, no, no." "I'm the brother." "The brother." "The brother who went to prison?" "You killed him, you know," "With your antics." "He died of a broken heart." "I thought he died of emphysema." "You're a horror." "Excuse me, donna." "I hope you don't mind terribly." "I'm gonna steal my brother." "Where you going?" "To grieve." "Come on." "Here." "Muscle relaxants." "How was teaching this week?" "It was fine." "You have any fun?" "Not really." "That's not the point, is it?" "The point is to have a job." "Well, if they like you," "Then..." "Maybe they'll give you." "A full-time gig at the end of the semester." "Maybe." "You should really shave that beard." "You look insane." "Noah, it's a good university," "And you're a convict." "Ex-convict." "Don't you think that's part of the appeal?" "I'm sorry, I'm just..." "I'm having a hard time." "Of course you're having a hard time." "But it's... it's going to get better." "You just have to stay..." "Alive?" "I was going to say "positive."" "I think jp's tired of having me around." "Forget jp." "I'll take care of it." "He's just tired in general." "It's just been a long summer." "You know, you're the only one who's every forgiven me, nin." "Well, you forgave me once." "For something pretty awful, so..." "Besides, I think you're innocent." "I'm not." "How could he never mention it?" "What?" "You should have asked him." "What is the matter with you?" "I would have never asked him that." "Just calm down." "We're gonna figure it out, okay?" "What do you think we're gonna do, nina?" "How do you think we're gonna pay for this trip?" "And for christmas?" "It's got to be some kind of joke." "Your brother?" "Your fucking brother?" "Everything okay?" "Your father's will arrived this morning." "Okay." "He didn't have much to leave." "He had his house..." "Which he left to you." "To me?" "Why?" "I don't know, noah." "Why don't you tell us?" "I don't know either." "You know he hated you?" "Jp." "No, no, no." "He could barely talk about you." "She's the one." "Who went to see him every sunday." "She took him to church." "She took him to the doctor's." "She changed his oxygen." "She changed his fuckin' diapers." "You know that we had to pay for a live-in nurse at the end?" "We're in something of a hole." "Here at the moment." "Doesn't matter." "It doesn't?" "And why's that?" "Because you planted a money tree in the backyard," "And we can just go out and pick some fucking bills?" "You're embarrassing me." "I am?" "Has he even paid for groceries once?" "Once since he's been here?" "Just go take a walk, please." "He's just like your fuckin' father." "Get out!" "We needed that house, nina." "We needed it." "Fuck it." "Here, let me." "No, I got it." "I got it." "I'll pick you up at six." "No, I told you, I'll..." "I'll find my own place." "You have no money." "I have a little." "I'll manage." "Just..." "Let me talk to jp, okay?" "He will calm down." "I don't want the house." "Just tell jp he can have it." "He can sell it." "I don't care." "He can't have it." "Dad left it to you." "I'm never going back there, nina." "You know that." "He was trying to apologize." "Yeah, well, it's too late for that." "Fuckhead." "It's way too late for that." ""And so in the end,."" "As she watched him get back into his car." "And drive back down the mountain," "She couldn't help but wonder," "Would she feel differently in the morning?" "Would she wake up again with that sense of possibility." "That she'd taken for granted as a girl?" "In other words," "Is this moment the end of her beginning." "Or the beginning of her end?" "She was still pondering the question." "When she heard the teakettle whistle." "And turned from the window." ""When she looked back again, his car was gone."" "The end." "Mr. Solloway?" "Yeah, th... thanks." "Thanks, audrey." "Questions, comments, concerns?" "Charlette?" "I thought it was really elegant, audrey." "I liked the wind imagery." "I felt your narrator's excitement." "When the weather patterns changed unexpectedly." "You don't agree, mr." "Solloway?" "No, charlette, I don't." "I thought it was very dull." "Unless it was supposed to be a satire." "Was it?" "No." "No, I didn't think it was." "Unfortunately, all that audrey has revealed here today." "Is how shockingly unoriginal." "Her inner life actually is." "It would probably behoove you to turn off your computer," "Get off your couch, and go outside." "And risk some live, human interactions." "So you could observe the idiosyncrasies." "Of actual behavior." "Better yet, leave campus." "Go visit some struggling neighborhood." "And see real people try to deal with real problems." "And then go home and write about that." "Or don't." "I don't care." "Just... just don't bring your diary in here again." "Who's next?" "Why are you crying?" "Why was she crying?" "You eviscerated her, dude." "Listen, kids, if..." "If you want to be a writer," "You better get used to people hating your work." "Why you got to denigrate her experience, mr." "Solloway?" "It's not like your novels have been paradigms." "Of diverse socioeconomic representation." "Hi, yeah," "This is, professor solloway." "We spoke about the apartment you're subletting." "I'm... i'm... i'm right outside now." "Hey." "Noah." "You look great." "Helen, it's okay." "Helen, tell me about the kids." "They're fine." "Are they coming to visit?" "Yeah, of course." "I just wanted to come myself first to make sure." "That it was safe, and..." "My god, I can't..." "I can't believe you're in here." "It's okay." "No, it's not okay." "I can't believe you did this." "Why did you do this?" "Somebody needed to take responsibility." "No, that's not true." "That's not how the justice system works." "Juries hang." "Murderers go free." "Oj simpson wasn't convicted." "Why the fuck were you?" "Well, I didn't want to leave anything to chance." "Listen, it..." "There's nothing we can do about it now." "You and the kids are safe." "That's all that matters." "I'm gonna get you out of here." "No, you're not." "Yes, I am." "I'm going to speak to my father." "Your father." "Yes, he... he knows the governor." "He helped get him elected." "Maybe he can get your sentence transmuted." "You mean "commuted"?" "This is ridiculous." "You can't be here." "Not that bad, actually." "I have my own cell." "I get plenty of exercise." "I even like some of the guys." "They're very smart." "They've..." "Led fascinating lives." "Might even use a few of them for research for my new novel." "This is not a writers retreat, noah." "You're incarcerated." "Can't it be both?" "Helen, don't worry about me." "I'm tougher than you think I am." "And I owe this to you..." "After what I put you through." "Maybe this is my way of wiping the slate clean." "Besides, they're not gonna keep me here." "For the full three years." "I'll be out before you know it." "And what about me?" "What am I supposed to do while you're in here?" "Just wait." "Consider the arthurian character merlin." "Merlin." "Born to a virgin." "Who had been impregnated by a devil." "Merlin's internal integration of the two sides to his soul." "Establishes him as one of our earliest archetypes for the..." "Quel est le mot?" "For... hello." "You just popped up out of nowhere." "What's your name?" "Are you in the right place?" "No, no, sorry." "I think I'm..." "I'm sorry to put you on the spot." "It's just that I've asked everyone else." "To introduce themselves," "And I didn't see you there." "I-I'm noah..." "Solloway." "Bienvenue, monsieur solloway." "Je suis professeur le gall." "So..." "Where were we?" "Oui." "The struggle." "Merlin... merlin is an archetype." "For the struggle, perhaps, the..." "The war, la guerre, oui..." "He's an archetype for the war." "Between one's conscious mind." "And its self-destructive subconscious desire." "In robert de boron's early version of the tale," "Merlin's virtuous side overcomes his demonic side," "His holy destiny intact." "Yet a slightly later version of the exact same tale." "Depicts merlin as irredeemably tainted." "By his infernal paternity," "His lightness this time completely destroyed." "By his darkness." "In this post-vulgate version," "We see the fictional shadow self." "Become a manifestation of the writer's own depravity," "A shadow of a shadow," "Destined to be destroyed by its creator." "Monsieur solloway." "Attendez, s'il vous plaÃ®t." "I'm just so pleased to finally meet you." "I feel that you and I are kindred spirits." "Kindred spirits?" "Silence is violence!" "How so?" "No means no!" "Silence is violence!" "Silence is violence!" "Was there a rape?" "I'm not sure." "It's apparently a bit murky." "But I admire them, these students." "They're adamant when they feel they're being mistreated." "I was quite surprised." "It's not the same in france." "They're after you too, you know." "Who?" "The students." "Some of the faculty." "There was a big conversation, before you arrived." "About whether it was safe to have you on the campus." "Why?" "You just got out of prison, no?" "Okay." "And you're a murderer, yes?" "Silence is violence!" "No means no!" "No means no!" "Silence is violence!" "So, are you happy here?" "Are you glad you came?" "Well, it's..." "It's better than prison." "I'll have to remember that on the days" "I'm feeling particularly depressed." "Why are you depressed?" ""Depressed" is probably wrong." "I just feel..." "Bored." "Ennui." "I thought I'd come to america." "And have a grand adventure, you know?" "I'd be at a famous university," "Arguing with passionate students late into the nights." "And instead, it's, um..." "Instead, it's new jersey." "Yes." "Where everyone is just so..." "Nice." "Before I began, I got a kind of a..." "A merde..." "How do you say?" "A sermon from the dean." "About making the students feel secure." "I thought, "secure, at a university?" "Why?"" "I don't remember." "Feeling secure when I was in school, do you?" "No." "You see?" "I said, "monsieur,"." "Surely our job is to challenge them," ""To unsettle, to make them feel insecure, no?"" "No." "Yeah, it wasn't always like this." "I remember back when I was teaching high school," "I started noticing a change after 9/11." "The president came on the television." "And started talking about keeping americans safe," "And suddenly all the students were repeating it." "And these current students, they're..." "They're even younger, and..." "And they've grown up." "On a whole rhetoric of s... noah, are you all right?" "Yeah." "Yeah..." "I'm having a small dinner party tonight." "Would you like to come?" "Sure." "Okay." "TrÃ¨s bien." "So sorry I'm late." "Shall we?" "You're teaching only one class, correct?" "That's right, yeah." "I..." "I'm hoping for more next semester." "How's it going?" "Well, I think." "I think it's going well." "No trouble?" "Nope." "The job ends in december?" "Yes, but..." "There's a..." "There's a possibility I'll be invited back." "For the spring term." "And if you're not?" "I don't know." "It's important that you stay employed, mr." "Solloway," "As part of your rehabilitation." "I know." "Are you waiting for somebody?" "No, no, sorry." "I ju..." "How's your living situation?" "You still at your sister's?" "No." "No?" "You moved?" "As of today... tonight." "And you didn't feel it was important that I know?" "It... it just happened." "It's student housing." "I'm subletting from..." "From an undergraduate." "I need to visit." "I need to see it." "Well, we can go right now if you like." "I-I got the key, we..." "No, I'd rather come by when you least expect it." "Of course." "Why'd you move?" "Trouble with your sister?" "No, no, no." "No, I just..." "I just wanted to live..." "Live closer to work." "Okay, mr." "Solloway." "Stay employed." "Don't piss anybody off." "We'll be in touch." "Thanks so much for coming." "It's my job." "They pay me to do this." "Officer santos." "Who... who knows I'm here?" "What do you mean?" "Well, is there a record of my..." "Where I live now?" "Or where I work?" "On a database anywhere?" "Why are you asking?" "I'm just wondering if it's..." "If it's possible for..." "For anybody still inside fishkill." "To find out my current address?" "As in other prisoners?" "Of course not." "Or a guard." "Could a guard, for example," "Have access to that information?" "Why are you asking, solloway?" "Never mind." "It's not important." "Is there anything you need to tell me?" "No." "Here, let me walk you out." "Come on, man!" "Stop, stop!" "Whoa, whoa, where do you think you..." "You gonna have to pay for that shit." "Here, enough?" "Is that enough?" "Yeah." "We're cool, man." "You're good." "Audrey, I-i didn't know you'd be here." "Professor le gall is my adviser." "Is she?" "Oui." "For god's sakes, audrey," "Nobody is condoning rape." "We're just saying that the term "sexual assault"." "Is so expansively used now." "That it dilutes public outrage." "For the very crime you're trying to prosecute." "Really, mike?" "Because a woman who cries sexual assault." "Might just be looking for attention?" "Or... or maybe she was confused." "Maybe she really did want it." "Maybe she did." "Maybe she did," "And then maybe she regretted it later." "I mean, I've certainly regretted sleeping with certain people." "But when I do, I don't bring." "A disciplinary charge against them." "Fuck you, cornwall." "You know, you ladies..." "Not you, professor..." "But you two are on a witch-hunt." "No." "Excuse me?" "Yes, you are." "You are, and I get it." "No, no, no, no." "I get it." "You've been victims of this systematized... patriarchal." "Oppression for many years now... stop talking." "Just stop talking." "But that doesn't give you the right to terrorize us." "Terrorize you?" "Terrorize, yes." "I feel terrified to touch a woman at a party now," "Especially if she's had a drink," "Because if I take her home, right," "And I fuck her, the next morning I wake up," "And I... and I don't tell her that I-i love her." "Or that I want to marry her," "She can literally prosecute me." "Okay, I stopped listening at the part where she fucks you," "Because that's where your story lost all credibility." "Come on, professor." "Blake, back me up here." "He's right." "All this talk of consent is just demoralizing." ""Demoralizing"?" "It's fucking confusing." "It's not that confusing." "Ask her what she wants." "I don't want to ask her." "Why the fuck not?" "Because asking isn't sexy." "Professor le gall, you must have an opinion about this." "Professor le gall is an expert." "In courtly love," "And I'm pretty sure that lancelot." "Never asked guinevere for permission to slip it in." "Actually, mike, if that's what you think," "Then you haven't been paying enough attention." "In my lectures." "In courtly love, the woman is always in charge." "She is the lord and master." "And the knight is her servant." "And even when he cannot consummate his passion," "As is often the case," "The very act of loving her." "Enriches his life..." "And improves his nobility." "Imagine that, mike." "A man loving a woman who he doesn't get to fuck." "That's not true, all right?" "You... you said "erotic love."" "I wrote down the word "erotic" in my notebook." "I-I circled it three times, professor." "But erotic doesn't always mean physical." "Sometimes the woman invites the man into her bed," "And he's not allowed to touch her." "Is there anything more erotic than that?" "You want to know what my problem is." "With courtly love?" "It's just exhausting for the guys." "Yes." "I mean, all those." "Fuckin' ordeals." "To prove their ardor and commitment." "Joust upon joust upon joust." "Joust!" "I mean, stop faking." "Just give me the bacon, baby." "Bacon." "That's it." "What's up, right?" "What about you, professor solloway?" "Me?" "What do you make of our conversation?" "Well, I'm, I'm fascinated, of course." "Do you know much about courtly love?" "No." "Sexual assault?" "There's a chapter in your last book, descent," "That I've been meaning to ask you about." "It's the part where you." "Have sex with your wife against the tree." "Was that supposed to be a rape?" "Well, I don't think this is the appropriate context." "To discuss my book." "No, please." "We're interested." "See, the thing is, professor solloway," "When we heard that you were coming to teach," "We were all a little nervous." "I mean, you have to understand." "That your reputation precedes you," "And I guess I would just feel a lot safer." "In your class if I understood your attitude toward consent." "And women in general." "My attitude towards women in general?" "Well, in general, audrey," "I, I-i approve of women." "I think you're all great." "And... and, no," "I did not consider it to be a... a scene of rape." "What was it, then?" "Um..." "Dominant sex." "But it wasn't rape?" "No." "And there's a difference?" "Yes." "Would you say that lana consented to that experience?" "Well, no, but I'd say" "I think she enjoyed it." "Are you fucking kidding me?" "My point is, I-i don't..." "I think sex can be about both." "Wanting and not wanting." "It's... it's a war." "Between the intellect and instinct," "Between shame and desire," "And that's what makes it so interesting, and..." "Also, to your first point," "Frankly impossible to legislate." "Merveilleux." "Professor, he's a rape apologist." "I don't even know why." "We're asking him." "The man basically wrote a self-help book." "On how to cheat on your wife and get away with it." "My god." "That's not how I read descent." "Did you read it in english?" "Because, believe us, that book is." "A training manual for how to be an asshole." "What I read was the account of a courageous man." "Who falls into a true love." "With a woman who isn't his wife." "And risks everything to be with her." "A kind of a lancelot." "But perhaps I misunderstood." "Do you mind if I join you?" "Want one?" "No, thanks." "You don't smoke?" "No." "Listen, audrey, I wanted to apologize." "For the way I treated you in class today." "It wasn't my best day." "Do you really feel unsafe in my class?" "Is it a possibility that feeling that way." "Could maybe compel you to take more risks as a writer?" "Take you out of your comfort zone?" "Professor solloway," "What you don't seem to understand." "About women in general." "Is that we feel unsafe all the time." "At class." "At parties." "Job interviews." "You know, getting into an elevator." "Parking our cars." "Walking down the street at night." "I don't need you to push me out of my comfort zone." "I've never been inside one." "I'm sorry, audrey, i..." "I've been away for a long time, and i..." "I-i guess" "I'm out of practice." "I-i..." "I've... i've forgotten how to..." "Talk to people." "Qu'est-ce qui se passe?" "Want a tour?" "Yeah." "Sure." "This used to be a boarding house for wayward women." "Way back at the turn of the last century." "It's true." "Viola." "What do you think?" "This your room?" "Yes." "I like it." "I like it too." "It smells familiar." "I don't know what it is." "It reminds me of home." "Were you offended by the conversation downstairs?" "Nah, of course not." "They're all entitled to their..." "Opinions." "They're young." "They want everything to be black and white." "And the tragedy is, you can't move them beyond that." "No matter how much." "You tell them, no matter how many books they read," "There are just some things that can't be taught," "Things like humility and loss." "And desire." "I loved your book." "Thank you." "Is there going to be another one?" "I hope so, eventually." "About the same people?" "No, no." "No, i..." "I mean, it's an old book." "You know?" "I'm not writing that kind of thing anymore." "Why not?" "Why, it's... i'm just..." "Tell you the truth, I don't really." "Recognize that author." "People change." "Yeah." "Lucky for you." "You have a paper record." "Of the man you used to be." "Whereas for most of us that younger person only exists." "In our memory." "I'm glad you're here." "I was beginning to think." "There wasn't anyone interesting to talk to in all of new jersey." "But..." "You're a famous author." "And you've been to prison." "Sir thomas malory wrote le morte d'arthur." "When he was prison." "Did you know that?" "No, I didn't." "So you're in good company." "Though many scholars believe that the charges..." "Levied against him..." "Were invented." "What's wrong?" "I-I don't feel..." "I don't feel well." "All of a sudden." "Sit, sit." "No, it's okay." "I-I'll show myself out." "Hi, you've reached the voicemail of alison and... joanie." "We can't get to." "The phone right now," "So just leave us a message," "And we'll get back as soon as we can." "Thank you, and have a great day." "Hey, it's me." "Um..." "I know you told me not to contact you, but..." "But I, um..." "I just needed to hear your voice, so..." "And now I have, so..." "So..."