"ere goes a saying that the biggest plight is having been given a bad name" "This character's surname is and his father named him Mui Te Sang (no children)" "It's said that not having an education isn't... as bad as having a bad education" "This lady specializes in studying population explosion" "She believes that the world is over populated and if possible wants to avoid giving birth" "Are you blind?" "Sorry, teacher" "Never mind" "The infertile runs into one who don't wanna give birth" "What a coincidence" "Not only are they unwilling to have a baby their personalities match, and agree..." "The world is over populated and it's right not to have children after marriage" "To become husband and wife passing through the river of love and... spending the 1 st year of a romantic marriage together" ""First anniversary"" "For this world exclusive to us" "Cheers" ""Second anniversary"" "Is the water bothering you?" "No, it's peaceful and beautiful" "It's so romantic" ""Third anniversary"" "Why are the flies so noisy?" "That's because it's so quiet here" ""Fifth anniversary"" "This letter is from your cousin" "What does it say?" "5 years, it's the same programmes every Sunday" "How can they make profit?" "Quick..." "Wait" "Useless" "You're useless, let's compete" "The children are noisy" "Very noisy" "Hello" "Hello" "Come in please" "We have to join another party" "Can I leave my children here?" "You're welcome" "Thank you very much" "Are you okay?" "Yes, mama" "See you" "Bye" "Bye bye" "Enjoy yourself" "Bye, daddy" "I'll dress you up as a princess" "I'll take you swimming" "I'll make up for you" "Beautiful?" "One for me" "Press...this side" "Don't run" "You have to catch him, come, this side" "Chase..." "I've won" "Sorry to disturb you tonight" "I love your child" "Mr. Mui, thank you very much" "You're welcome" "Good night..." "Bye bye" "Why are you shouting?" "And you?" "I'm just following you" "No..." "According to psychological analysis this is a primordial erotic solicitation" "If our spirit and passion do not have a complete union there will be danger, come" "It's wrong to marry and not have kids" "Te Sang" "Where are you?" "On the roof" "It's too early for work, what are you doing up there?" "I feel unusually energetic today and the air smells fresher" "The two must be put together" "Good morning, MrWu" "Good morning" "What's happened to Mr Mui?" "Good bye" "Look at Mr Mui" "Good morning" "Good morning" "Good morning" "You look beautiful today, I'll buy you lunch" "Thank you in advance" "Mr Chan, you look so nice today" "What's with her today?" "I haven't seen her that happy in 7 years" "Is she on drugs or something?" "Hello?" "Yuan Kwun, come home early tonight" "Come back early?" "To enjoy myself tonight?" "How do you feel?" "I'm almost done" "I'm almost done" "Have you done your warm up?" "How are you?" "You're okay, I'm okay" "I'm okay" "Where are you off to?" "To get help" "Come" "The plane is taking off again" "Come" "Darling" "Darling" "Darling" "Darling" "Darling" "Okay?" "Nothing" "How long have you been married?" "7 years" "There's something wrong" "Even an extra large tube of toothpaste would be used up ultimately" "But I am small" "I am not referring to this" "I am referring to your relationship" "Open this box" "This experiment shows your reflexes are slow" "Many people think that knowledge is a kind of tactic they are complacent" "This is what is meant by appearances deceive" "In fact everything in this world requires good thinking id one must be ruthless to attain one's goals" "For me?" "Yes, pornographic books and tapes which would help foster lost passion between you both" "Start with the easy ones and follow according to your capacity" "And the chairs?" "They are props for outdoor use" "More exciting the situation, easier it's to be pregnant" "Do you realise in the old movies in the 30"s when a girl was raped it usually took place in a stormy night" "One shot was all it took, right?" "Come to think of it, every movie was the same" "It couldn't be wrong" "Remember, to reach your goals... you have to be ruthless" "Darling" "Darling" "Where have you gone?" "It's so late" "I've been to an important place" "What are you doing?" "You'll see in a minute" "See what this is?" "Where did you get it?" "I borrowed it from Charlie" "That be-spectacled sex maniac from your secondary school days?" "He is a famous gynecologist now and not a sex maniac" "Look..." "Why are you showing these porno movies?" "Charlie said we put up appearances so we must follow what's being done in this movie" "Come...he also said we should start with the easy ones and proceed according to our capabilities" "Come, come to bed and try" "Who put these knitting needles here?" "Come, try again" "You got my foot" "Change to another position, this is good" "One might get killed like this" "Careful, I am falling" "What are you doing?" "Yoga?" "This movie is for youngsters let's watch the other ones" "You have many?" "Yes" "Wu Hsing Nan" "Show this anthropology movie for me" "Yes" "This movie from the" "University of Copenhagen describes how sounds affect our emotions and actions which react differently to high and low sound frequencies" "From depression to excitement  even madness" "Why is it this one?" "This sound from our reaction proves our actions could be changed" "But this film...just let it go" "Wu Hsing Nan, stop it" "Good bye" "Good bye" "Good bye" "Why are you sneaking about?" "I was too tired last night and... took Charlie's movie to show at the school by mistake" "Really?" "That's why I am so embarrassed" "I had to sneak in" "What's there to be embarrassed about?" "Didn't Charlie say one has to be ruthless to reach one's goals?" "Right" "Come..." "What are you doing?" "Are you crazy?" "Charlie said if we made love at exciting places the possibility of pregnancy would be high" "How could we do it here?" "Why not?" "Come on" "Let go" "Don't, I can't take it" "Don't, come on..." "It's so embarrassing if we're seen" "There's no one who would see us?" "My clothes" "Your clothes" "It hurts" "Let me think" "Miss Ping, it's not easy earning a living" "They've finished work yet we have to clean up" "Please let go, help" "What is it?" "You're only caught by the newspaper stand" "What a chicken, like having seen a ghost" "What?" "There are ghosts here?" "Miss Ping, there are two heads" "Where?" "There" "Your head and mine naturally make two heads" "You're so nervous" "Come in" "You saw heads just now you'll tell me we'll see legs shortly" "Legs" "Miss Ping..." "What is it now?" "Legs" "Look closely again" "There's nothing" "What happened?" "Look" "Did you see two persons?" "Yes, seems like Mr. and Mrs. Mui but they don't look like human beings" "Of course they don't, they're just illusions" "If they are human beings how come a man is in woman's dress and vice versa" "Let me prove it" "If he's human and if I hit him, he'll feel the pain" "If it's a ghost..." "Then he'll yell like hell" "Ghost" "Miss Ping...you can't pass out, wake up" "Miss Ping, don't scare me please" "Miss Ping...help" "Hello?" "Peter?" "What?" "Couldn't do it?" "Did you do according to my instructions?" "A hundred per cent, and working over time as well" "One night I brought a chair with my wife to the backyard" "I thought we should be successful" "Even the chair broke" "Is there any medication we could take?" "There's no need for medication it's only a matter of chance and timing" "What does that mean?" "Have you been to the Pier at North Point?" "To buy seafood?" "No, the bus terminal at North Point Pier there are times when you see buses but no people and times when there are people but no buses" "What has that got to do with bearing a child?" "I thought you were a smart student" "That is to say your sperms failed to meet with your wife's ova understand?" "Why didn't you tell me plainly?" "Why be so blunt?" "We are civilized people" "Then when can I get on the bus?" "You'll have to ask the boss of buses" "He frequently passes the stop without stopping" "What should be done then?" "You have to be alert when your wife's body temperature rises that means the bus is at the terminal (ovulation) then you should gather your men (sperm) and fill the bus" "Okay" "Hello?" "Yuan Kwun?" "What"s up?" "Peter, my temperature has risen" "I feel hot all over" "Mr Mui, what are you doing?" "You have a class" "I am not taking it" "How can you do that?" "Get a replacement" "I'm going to be a father..." "I'm back" "What"s the matter?" "Mom's just arrived" "How long does she intend to stay here?" "She'll stay until after dinner" "It's the anniversary of dad's death" "Mom says alone at home would stir sad memories for her so she came here" "Your father loved to eat fish lips" "What a coincidence!" "What time is it now?" "Almost ten, you're leaving?" "No" "I fear I would get lonely at home" "It's such a big, empty house" "It's unbearable" "It's worse for us" "Man's biggest enemy is loneliness" "Your mom is so artistic" "Phone, phone" "What phone?" "Yes...there's a phone" "Where?" "Why can't I hear it?" "It's ringing upstairs" "Upstairs?" "What"s the matter?" "The house on fire" "My house is on fire?" "Right..." "I'll ask mom to return immediately" "Mom, big trouble" "Father's altar caught fire because of the candle" "How could that happen?" "Maybe father misses you and wants you to return" "Return?" "The water is boiling, hurry and go back upstairs" "Bye, come again some time" "Good bye" "I haven't called a taxi" "There are many taxis" "Why haven't you taken off your clothes?" "See, my temperature is 2 degrees lower than normal" "Your father died at a bad time" "Yes, he should have died 2 days earlier" "I have an idea" "Mr Chau?" "This is Peter" "From today onwards" "I'll have a stomachache for 5 days" "Yes..." "Get a replacement" "Darling, I've prepared food for 5 days" "From today onwards we'll stay in our room for 5 days" "Good" "Hooray" ""Five days later"" "Get up" "No, I have to rest for another 5 days" "I'll ask for 5 more days' leave for you" "Well?" "Time's up" "Done?" "Yes" "Hand in your papers" "Teacher" "Quiet, just hand them up" "Thank you" "Time to hand in your papers" "Where are the students?" "Mr Mui, you fell asleep and they're all gone" "I'll leave the papers on the desk" "Thank you" "Be careful, don't fall" "Aunty" "Good girl" "What a nerve, just leaving it at the door?" "Mrs. Mui, too heavy?" "I'll help you" "Thanks, uncle Wong" "You can put it there" "Thank you" "Don't mention it, we're neighbours" "Ah Wong, you're back" "Mrs Wong" "Mrs Mui" "Thanks" "Don't mention it" "I made soup, why are you so late?" "Is it Peter?" "Yes" "Has the report arrived yet?" "Has what arrived yet?" "I asked you if the report has arrived yet" "It just did" "Must have failed again" "Failed?" "No, why would we fail?" "What?" "We did it" "Dad" "Just like me" "Darling" "Darling" "Why have they delivered to the door?" "I called them, that's why" "That's great" "Why are you so happy?" "Go and thank uncle Wong" "Why?" "He helped me, I couldn't have done it alone" "What?" "Uncle Wong helped me" "Go and thank him" "That pervert with a mistress?" "Don't be so loud, he might hear you" "That uncle Wong when did he come and help?" "In the afternoon before you returned" "While I was at school, he and you..." "He also said ours was leaking and it's useless" "Leaking?" "Yes" "That's why I am using his" "Where are you going?" "To settle the score with him" "It's alright, I did already" "What are you doing?" "Who else knows about this?" "His mistress kill one more" "Are you nuts?" "He helped with the gas, what's the matter with you?" "What?" "I said before you returned he helped me take it up here" "I asked you if you had gone to get the report" "I got the report" "Well?" "It's leaking" "How can we get a new one?" "You...test" "Examine me?" "Yes" "Examine my finger?" "No, sperms" "We've been at school for over 10 years" "You forget who I am?" "I really can't recall" "Who are the most prosperous professions here?" "Hakka, opportunists, fishermen" "Your family are fishermen" "That's it, have you seen fishermen without children?" "Every male in my family has scores of offspring" "Then do you realise you've lived on shore for a few generations" "my father, grandfather, great grandfather great great grandfather, all six generations" "How many children did the seniormost grandfather have?" "Sixteen" "Your great great grandfather?" "Eight" "Your great grandfather?" "Four" "Your grandfather, two, your father, one" "How did you know?" "It's easy" "It's like mahjong" "Just double it, 1, 2, 4, 8, 16" "Your great great great grandfather scored the jackpot" "Sixteen" "Your father scored a ji hu (a winning) and now you have scored a ja hu (a faked winning)" "None at all" "If Yuan Kwun is alright, then it's your problem" "Go on" "Go on" "Be quick if you want to be a father" "Okay" "Is this okay?" "Anyone will do, no need to select" "What"s that?" "According to tests your sperms are unhealthy by birth" "They are deformed" "That's why you could not procreate" "I can't have children" "Peter..." "There's no need to cry" "According to medical science infertility is not synonymous with not being able to become a father" "Your wife is normal that is to say she is a piece of fertile soil" "Charlie, what are you talking about?" "Your husband's seeds are molded and you need to think of other ways" "Fortunately there are many seeds left in this world" "Musicians, mathematicians, astronomers" "I don't know what you're talking about please be brutally clear with me, okay?" "Okay, if you want to have children you can do so by artificial insemination that is, get a father surrogate" "A father surrogate?" "Artificial insemination is similar to vasectomy except that the latter means there are no worries thereon unlike artificial insemination" "Many people have done it" "Why can't you?" "Besides, there are five major benefits" "Quality, selection, speed high success rate, efficiency" "Artificial insemination is as popular as break dancing in other countries" "It is a waste of your higher education if you can't even accept this" "It'll be a stumbling block to the development of civilization, understand?" "We can give it some thought" "Artificial insemination?" "I feel strange about it" "Why don't you adopt a child?" "It's not the same" "There wouldn't be the same relationship it'd be like us and the British our skins and blood would not be the same although I'm part of the colony they wouldn't accept me ultimately" "That is to say when the child grows up there'll not be a sense of belonging" "I also want to have a child" "Charlie is right, artificial insemination is a milestone in the evolution of man kind" "At least it could make infertile people like you become fathers" "Then you..." "But you must promise me one thing you mustn't regret it" "Don't be silly" "We're both highly educated people what do you think I am?" "Would my mentality be backward as those villagers?" "But I want you to go to the States for the procedure so we keep it low-key" "You realise that not everyone is as liberal minded as we are so we don't let any one know I'm infertile" "Sure" "How are you different from an uneducated country bum?" "But our parents should know" "No problem" "What?" "Artificial insemination?" "It can't be, we fisher folks need a father surrogate?" "Father, keep your voice down" "It's not good if others hear you" "If we can do it, then let them know" "Everyone knows science is advanced these days" "It's not like that" "Nothing compares to one's own flesh and blood" "Daughter, do you remember when I was still young and studying there was a song..." "Married to the Wrong Man?" "Mom, I wasn't born then" "How would I know?" "What are the lyrics like?" "They go like this..." "Don't marry a scholar" "Books are everywhere" "The better the results the dummier the person" "Most of the time you're left alone" "Look.." "Is it..." "An old song still applies" "I remember there's a saying that the best guy is an intellectual" "A woman is worse when she's a bitch" "What are you talking about?" "Mom, speak your mind" "This is no longer the 1930's why are you so old fashioned?" "All this belief that it's unfilial not to procreate" "It's outdated" "It's not that my daughter cannot have children" "It's your son who is incapable and needs a surrogate" "When I first saw him" "I knew that he's not a good husband" "His eyebrows are thin, and he's dull-looking" "He's definitely inferior" "Have you read any medical books?" "What medical books?" "It's said that if you use your brain too much the adrenaline will go up to the brain" "Because my son is so clever that's why all his adrenaline has been drawn up and nothing is left down below" "That's why he cannot have babies" "Madam, you shouldn't say that" "We men know that you women love to blame it on others" "Hence we have drawn all our adrenaline to our brai and invented artificial insemination" "That is to say to look for a father surrogate" "Do you understand?" "C'mon, how can one find surrogate for such a thing?" "Do you think you are in a movie?" "Mom, we have invited you here to let you know our decision and not to fight with him" "Keep quiet" "I was right" "I'm trying to help you, come..." "Besides you'd better think it over carefully" "The greatest fear of us Chinese is knowing... that their children are not their own off-spring" "When Yuan Kwun comes back after the operation be sure you won't regret it" "Why would I be?" "I've asked her to do it" "Mom, don't be so old-fashioned" "My son is your grandson" "Mom...go and talk nicely to them" "Go..." "Peter, when is she setting off?" "I've applied leave for her, this Saturday" "If you're busy you needn't come see her off" "You're wrong, I'm free on that day" "When are you coming to pick me up?" "Well?" "Are you enjoying yourself in Hong Kong" "Yes" "Don't forget to write" "What is it?" "Do you feel bad about what father said last night?" "No" "Hey..." "What are you thinking?" "Nothing..." "What are you doing?" "Yuan Kwun, you won't...." "Won't what?" "What are you talking about?" "Yuan Kwun..." "You know nothing except studying" "It's all arranged for you, get on the plane quickly" "Come on..." "let's go" "Peter, I'll be in the operation theatre soon hopefully it will be the right sperm" "I'll be having a baby without you here with me" "Sounds weird" "But before I go I slept with you" "Hoping I have the feeling to have the child that belongs to us" ""It's artificial insemination, since the husband can't"" "Hello..." "Did you order a bowl of eel paste noodle?" "Yes, please come in" "Wait, I'll get a bowl to save you the bother of picking up the bowl again" "Yat Ban Heung" "Brother, what's Yat Ban Heung?" "Sorry." "I'm used to it" "Please pack it up for me" "Peter, I'm Yuan Kwun" "Yuan Kwun, it's you" "Yes, let me tell you" "I've finished my operation" "Is that right?" "That's great" "Do you want any ground pepper?" "No..." "What?" "You said you don't want babies?" "I've just ordered a bowl of eel paste noodle" "I said I don't want any ground pepper" "Oh, the doctor said I've to stay for a few months until the baby has fini the medical check" "Don't do that" "What?" "Are you regretting?" "No, how much does it cost?" "Don't know yet, why are you so excited?" "Twenty five dollars" "Peter, why don't you say something?" "Do you have any change?" "You are so troublesome, go away" "You ask me to go away?" "Damn you" "Yuan Kwun, no" "Thank you, mister" "I'd like to make a long distance call to Hawaii" "After I finished that long distance call at Hawaii" "My wanted to fly back and divorce you" "The noodle delivery came at the wrong time" "You've bought so many children's dresses back" "Of course, if he is a boy he has to be dressed up like a western cowboy" "If it's a girl, she'll be dressed up like a princess" "What if he's a homosexual?" "Homosexual?" "Then there's no need for dresses" "What if, by doctor's mistake we end up... with a black kid?" "That's easy" "Bleach him" "What are you thinking about?" "What does the child's father look like?" "Maradona?" "Chinese scientist?" "No need to guess" "Ask him" "Right, can he really talk?" "What did he say?" "He said..." "Hi, man" "What else?" "Those doctors are like robbers" "A few hundred dollars for a visit when will the child be born?" "But when other people congratulate you for being a father soon you'll think it's worth it" "How do you know?" "I've been blaming myself all this time" "My late mother used to tell me not to gain results without working for them" "This is what it is now" "Let me get it" "Mom" "He's Yuan Kwun's cousin" "Hi" "He's Yuan Kwun's husband" "Let's go in" "Do you still remember cousin Siao Bao?" "Yes" "Cousin" "Cousin" "Peter, he's my cousin, Wai Siao Bao" "Your name sounds familiar" "He just came back from Hawaii" "Hawaii?" "I almost forgot to congratulate you on being a father" "How did you know?" "Auntie told me" "He's here for a conference on women giving birth" "That's right..." "No, they have booked a hotel for him but on a wrong date" "I recall that you have a guest room upstairs that's why I've asked him to come and stay here" "Come, I'll take you upstai for a look, let's go" "That's not too convenient" "No problem at all" "It's too troublesome" "Don't worry, we are family" "Is he really your cousin?" "Could this be false?" "How is he related to you?" "He's the son of my mom's elder brother" "Long lost relative?" "Not lost, it's just that we haven't met for more than 10 years" "How come he still recognizes you?" "Who's this?" "My grandfather" "Where's he?" "He's dead for more than 20 years" "You still recognise him?" "Bull shit" "Siao Bao is afraid of the cold, I'll bring him a quilt" "Mom, when Yuan Kwun was small was she with Siao Bao all the time?" "Yes" "If Siao Bao had not gone to the States" "Yuan Kwun wouldn't be your wife" "How close were they?" "They used to play together when they were small" "They even took off their clothes and bathed together" "Siao Bao, better take a bath and go to sleep" "A bath..." "Taking off clothes and bathing together" "We never bathed together since we got married" "Peter..." "Yuan Kwun, I'm here, what is it?" "My cousin Wai Siao Bao" "He became an eunuch in "Royal Tramp"" "And was castrated" "Now that you are back in Hong Kong... we'll arrange some good meals for you" "Tomorrow we'll go to Shenzhen for roast geese" "Shatin for bean curd on the day after tomorrow then to Lei Yun Mun for seafood the day after" "Alright..." "Mom" "If we keep on eating like this for sure we'll end up in a hospital" "Cousin Yuan Kwun loves eating but it's great you haven't gained any weight and are still in great shape" "Have a banana" "How did you know I like banana?" "Cousin Yuan Kwun loved eating banana as a child" "Come, I'll share it with you" "Alright" "A conference on women  childbirth you said" "Are you a gynecologist?" "Yes, how come you didn't know?" "No, I didn't" "That's midwifery" "Not only that" "For some people who cannot have children" "I'll help them" "How?" "Have you seen forms like these?" "What a coincidence, Yuan Kwun went to the same cli" "Could it be..." "Please excuse me" "It's time for my meeting, enjoy your meal" "Goodbye" "Goodbye" "What happened to you?" "Nothing" "Isn't that the hospital I went to?" "Cousin Yuan Kwun..." "How come you are ignoring me all of a sudden?" "You're farting all the time, it stinks" "Don't be like this, please don't go away" "I didn't fart" "Why are you holding me?" "When I grow up I must put a baby in your tummy so that you can give birth to my child" "When they were small they used to play over there all day" "Four-eye frog" "Shrew" "You are one" "Cousin, you are a gynecologist you must be an expert in child birth" "Child birth is something natural there is no such thing as an expert" "How come some people have no chance at all?" "Don't worry, as long as there are people like me no one will be sterile anymore" "But those coming to the hospital are mainly foreigners" "It's like going to the supermarket for them" "Only foreigners, no Chinese?" "There are some, but they are conservative" "Asking their wives to be artificially inseminated is like having them raped by someone" "How could you do this?" "Peter, what are you doing?" "Nothing" "Artificial insemination should be highly confidential but you know all about them" "This is unacceptable" "I wouldn't know a thing each case is labeled only by a number and everything is controlled by a computer" "If the system breaks down would you manually inseminate her?" "What?" "Peter, what are you saying?" "Nothing..." "If it's true I'll kill you" "Let's talk outside" "Alright" "Cousin, do you know" "I've been to Hawaii lately?" "Hawaii?" "Yes" "I went for artificial insemination there" "What a coincidence" "Don't laugh" "Do you remember what you told me when I was kid?" "What?" "You said when you grow up... you'll put a doll in my belly so I could bear a child for you" "That was kid's talk" "If it were that easy... then everyone would have kids" "Do you understand what I'm trying to say to you?" "What?" "I went to Hawaii and it so happens you work in that hospital there as a gynecologist" "Would you yourself..." "Stop joking" "This sort of thing is highly confidential" "I said a few days ago" "I only know the patients' numbers" "If I knew it was you" "I'd come and see you" "Cousin, I know also that" "I might be silly in asking this" "Not really, let's be clear about this" "You're not entirely a good person" "Don't you have something to do with this child?" "People are easy going as long as the child is born and calls Peter daddy then it's okay" "I'm fainting" "Rotten luck, Fate is against me" "Such a big department store and there's only a green raincoat" "Even with Peter I haven't had so much fun" "Not good enough?" "What's done is done, be quick" "Why are you in such a hurry?" "Peter hasn't come back yet" "If sees us like this he'll die" "Wearing the green hat (cuckolded) for sure" "Alright, I've an upper hand" "Peter, what's wrong with you?" "Why are you so careless?" "How come you're dressed this quickly?" "When had I taken off my clothes?" "You should take off your clothes" "Look at you, wet through and through you'll easily catch pneumonia" "I'll get you a towel" "Give me the green hat" "You like green hats?" "Yes I do" "Then I'll get you a few when I get to the U.S." "Peter" "What's the matter with you now?" "Why are you always falling?" "Sit down first" "Your green hat is very secure it won't fall no matter what" "Are you not well?" "I don't feel good inside" "That's the biggest problem" "If you can't bear a child that's okay" "I can help you" "What are you doing?" "Nothing" "Have some hot tea" "Right, where was I?" "You said if I can't have children you'll help me" "Not only that, I also helped your wife in Hawaii" "Peter" "This is too hot, get me some cold water" "What's the matter with you?" "Are you so hot you need cold water?" "You know what that means?" "What?" "It means you go horse racing and blindly you bet on a horse which won't win and you lose, that's what it means" "What has that to do with anything now?" "I bet blindly and I've lost" "What have you lost?" "I lost Q" "What?" "Lost..." "I lost Q" "I lost Q" "Why are you uttering nonsense tonight?" "Why are you wearing a green hat, does it look good?" "Siao Bao" "Aunty" "I got your plane tickets" "Thanks" "Yuan Kwun, come with me" "Are you leaving?" "Yes, I'm done with the meeting  got to leave tomorrow" "Mui Te Sang, Good bye" "Good bye, "Royal Tramp"" "What's "Royal Tramp" and Wai Siao Bao" "Castrated" "Why are you dressed so beautifully?" "Seeing cousin off to the airport" "You have a class, I can go alone" "See you later" "Cousin, get in the car" "I believe you won't return for 8 to 10 years" "I can't say for sure, I travel everywhere for meetings" "I might be back next week" "Thanks to your hospitality" "I will not stay at a hotel next time" "I'll just stay here" "We're family, it's only right" "Besides, I'll take your child" "You've taken the child?" "What about me?" "I didn't mean that" "I meant to acknowledge the child as a god son" "Peter, what's the matter with you?" "Since last night you've been acting like a nut" "Don't bother with him or you'll miss the plane" "Good bye" "Good bye" "Come back at once when you've finished" "Make sure you don't go away with him" "What's the thing that men dislike most?" "Wearing a green hat (Cuckolded)" "Hello dear leaders" "What are you going to do if you find out that your wife has betrayed you and has had an affair with somebody and that the child is not your own" "We're from the Int'l." "Anti-Adultery Association" "Lau Yuk Mui" "Sorry" "We've known each other for so many years and you don't even know I'm called Brenda" "It's all because we've known each other for so long that's why I'm asking you for help" "Help?" "You are a gynecologist" "Yes, but you're a man; why come to me?" "My wife is a woman" "Your wife is not infertile like you" "That's it" "I don't want that child, what should I do?" "You shouldn't think like this" "That child isn't Yuan Kwun's" "What are you talking about?" "What has it got to do with if it's Yuan Kwun" "Just let the child be born" "I don't want her to have that baby" "That's simple, kill her, and kill the child too" "Their lives are in your hands but be prepared for prison, goodbye" "One corpse, two lives" "Saffron, dongquai" "Men are getting more and more ruthless" "Get on with your work, pack it up" "Is this your first time?" "If you want to get it done once and for all try laminaria japonica, seaweeds,  croton oil bean" "Laminaria japonica, seaweeds,  croton oil bean?" "Saffron, dongquai, laminaria japonica, seaweeds..." "Tastes bad" "Gone" "It works" "It's done" "Croton oil bean, saffron, dongquai" "laminaria japonica, seaweeds, green bean" "What a pot of tasty green bean soup" "Peter, are you cooking the green bean soup?" "Is Yuan Kwun off from school?" "Yuan Kwun didn't pick me I came here by myself" "Why are you drinking that soup?" "For heat?" "It's not for me" "Is it for Yuan Kwun?" "Not for her either" "You shouldn't let her have it" "Green bean is cold for her constitution" "There's only two persons in this house if it's not you and not Yuan Kwun then who else?" "Mr. Mui, is the clock you are repairing for me ready yet?" "Yes..." "Does she look for you because of Mr Wong?" "No, her clock broke down she wanted me to repair it for her" "Mrs. Wong, it's fixed" "Thank you" "Your green bean soup smells so good" "How come she knows you're cooking green bean soup?" "She..." "Let me see" "Who's cooking dongquai?" "Next door neighbour" "Are they?" "How do you know that she's cooking dongquai?" "I...she..." "I..." "Who's cooking dongquai?" "Yuan Kwun, does Mrs. Wong next door cook dongquai everyday?" "Did she tell you that?" "No" "That's strange" "How does Peter know that she's cooking dongquai ... she also knows Peter is cooking green bean soup" "Are you cooking green bean soup?" "Yes" "You never drink sweet soup" "That's right, you never have sweet soup" "Then why make such a big pot of green bean soup?" "Yuan Kwun, my dear" "I knew friends who used to keep a mistress secretly" "Besides, Mrs. Wong doesn't seem to be a good woman" "Yuan Kwun, don't be mistaken" "I cooked this for myself" "I'll have it now if you don't believe me" "I went to see a Chinese doctor the other day who said that I was too hot and should cook some prescribed herbs" "That's why I've cooked them" "The doctor asked me not to put in sugar" "It's not sweet soup without sugar" "I'll finish it all right now to prove that I'm not lying" "I did cook that for myself" "I'll finish it" "I've finished it all" "I really have finished it all" "I'm passing out" "Peter..." "Peter, what happened to you?" "Peter, are you alright?" "My head is reeling and my stomach feels bad" "Oh no..." "Peter, open the door, are you alright?" "Peter..." "What's happening?" "After having the green bean soup" ""ve suffered from diarrhea for the whole month" "Are you feeling better now?" "Yes" "See how high that mountain is" "The higher the mountain the fresher the air" "Peter, the air is fresh here" "Peter" "You are so weak, do be careful" "There's only one leg left" "I've to take care of you instead" "Look at me, a grown man and I can't even do this small thing" "I drank the soup by myself" "And I fell down the cliff because of my carelessness" "So useless... im slower than all other peopl even a thief" "A thief?" "Help..." ""Dissolute Adulterer"" "Would she die falling from such a great height?" "No, usually the main actress in the movie won't die, she'll suffer a miscarriage at most" "That will work" "No, she'll recognize me" "Chor, a friend needs your help" "This is the one who plays a thief in the movies" "You are..." "My name is Chor Liao Xiang" "Master Chor" "No wonder you are familiar with Brother Gulong" "I've worked with him for 7 to 8 years" "We've been drinking together for 7 to 8 years too" "What can I do for you?" "It's like this" "Right on time" "You are all on time" "Come in..." "Hurry---come in" "Keep quiet, my wife is upstairs" "Peter..." "My wife is coming down, you can start acting" "Hit me" "Punch him" "Hit me" "Peter, what's that noise downstairs?" "How come you are fighting for real?" "Peter, what's going on?" "They are thieves, they are robbing us" "Go up" "Why go up?" "Call the police" "No need" "Wait till they are upstairs then you roll down from up there, go up quickly" "What"s the matter?" "What are you talking about?" "Go up" "Don't move" "What are you doing?" "They are here to rob us" "Don't run" "Don't move" "It's only acting, no need to overdo it" "This knife is sharp, be careful" "Are you nuts?" "Weren't you brought here by Chor Liao Xiang?" "Chor Liao Xiang?" "We've tied up the gang at the door" "Are you really robbers?" "Husband" "Don't move" "Don't hit my wife, she's pregnant" "Peter" "Don't use too much force" "She's pregnant, don't kill them both" "Bitch, if I can't beat you, I'll beat your husband" "Help, Peter...help me" "My leg" "You cripple, take out all your valuables or else I'll kill you both" "Kill us?" "Not that easy" "Don't move, let go of my husband" "Letting go or not?" "I'll strike you if you don't" "Let go of him" "Go, listen" "Open the window and jump down one by one" "C'mon, jump!" "Brother, she's crazy." "Just jump" "Don't...tell others that you're my younger brother" "Jump" "I'll jump" "Don't tell others that I am your elder brother" "Your turn" "Jump" "Thanks to you, wife" "You are my hero and my idol" "My leg" "What happened?" "This leg hasn't recovered yet now the other one is injured too" "Did the doctor say how long it'll take to recuperate?" "He said it could take 4 to 5 months" "Certainly there won't be a chance to break the 3rd one" "Luckily it can wait until you recuperate" "What's the use?" "The baby will be born then" "I'm destined to be a replacement father" "What did you say?" "Nothing, I said I'm going to be a father" "You're right" "Doctor said the baby will be born in the next few days" "Your cousin is back" "What"s he back for?" "To see the new born baby" "Mom" "Look who's here!" "I'm back again" "Yuan Kwun" "You never thought that I'll back again, right?" "Are you so responsible that you've come back to see the baby born?" "Cousin, how come you're back?" "I went to Ethiopia for a meeting" "Isn't Ethiopia in Africa?" "What are you doing here?" "The plane was hi-jacked" "Hi-jacked?" "How come I didn't see it in the news?" "It's too incredible, nobody would believe it that's why it wasn't reported" "How incredible?" "That person wasn't hijacking the plane at all." "And... getting here it's found that he was sleepwalking" "That is incredible" "It's not only incredible, it's impossible" "Quiet" "Cousin, tell us about the hijack" "Was it dangerous?" "That day after the plane took off, a man came over..." "Rubbish, that's not what happened" "He said he wanted to hijack the plane" "He plainly came back to see his child born yet he lied about the hijack" "Beat him" "Sorry, please don't hit me" "Peter" "What are you doing?" "Peter, what's the matter?" "Nothing, what do you want?" "You like wearing a green hat" "I was going to send one to you from Africa but by chance I came to Hong Kong" "Yuan Kwun, I also bought many things for you" "Get ready" "Let go" "What"s the matter?" "Yuan Kwun, you are going into labour soon" "Yuan Kwun..." "Let me" "Be careful" "It hurts" "Don't be afraid, it's okay" "Yuan Kwun..." "Why are you still standing here?" "Go get the car and bring her to the hospital" "It hurts" "Kwun...don't be afraid, I'm here with you" "Be patient, the child is about to be born" "How's the patient?" "Normal" "Is her pelvic bone big enough?" "Yes" "Cousin Yuan Kwun" "Everyone having a baby has to go through this" "Don't be afraid, it's going to be okay" "Don't worry, it's okay, be calm take a deep breath, push, that's right..." "I can see the head, push hard" "It will soon be over, right...push" "Nurse, my wife is giving birth but this is like an exhibition" "What?" "How can so many people be watching?" "Okay..." "You go out first" "Please go out first" "Nurse, my wife is giving birth" "I don't want these people going in and out as if they were attending an exhibition" "Are you talking about Dr. Wai?" "He is the obstetrician from the States" "He knows Dr. Cho well" "You can't go in now" "You have to be sterilized again, understand?" "I..." "Nurse..." "How's Yuan Kwun?" "Yuan Kwun...see for yourself" "Push...relax, it will soon be okay..." "What am I supposed to look at?" "It's like they're examining a piece of antique" "Siao Bao is a doctor and is helping you for free" "For free?" "If the baby looks like him, I'll..." "Let Mommy hug you" "Look, only one month and so big" "You have been cuckolded" "You still don't want to admit that?" "Peter, see if the child resembles you" "Does he resemble me?" "No" "I knew it" "Come..." "Let me introduce you to our family" "This is your great grandfather" "This is your grandfather" "This is..." "Wait, this is your grandfather" "Don't cry even if you can't bear with it" "Dad, the child hasn't got a name yet" "How come Peter hasn't got him a name yet?" "He said he wants to wait for you to give him a name" "Look...bushy brows, big eyes, good nose  mouth" "He is a warm person" "Doesn't seem as if he'll be in movie business" "Words "red" or "dragon" needn't be a part of his name" "Look at his little hands" "They're not the hands which will build high rises" "He will not be in the real estate business" "So his name need not be Ka Shing or Ying Tung" "Won't be land left for speculation by the time he grows" "You don't look like an intellectual either" "You should be named "Fu" (rich)" "Wouldn't that be Mui Fu?" "Mui Fu?" "It doesn't sound good" "Father, are you getting too old?" "Mui Fu...that means the child is a bastard" "What bastard?" "He's not my child, that's why" "Really" "Peter, why are you so loud?" "You've made the baby cry" "That's okay, let me pamper him" "Siao Bao, come and hold the child" "Good baby" "Let me sing you a song, okay?" "London bridge is falling down" "Falling down, falling down" "London bridge's falling down" "Isn't my grandchild smart?" "He knows English already" "Yuan Kwun, look" "Doesn't he look like Siao Bao?" "Yes, he looks like cousin" "Nephews look like uncles; that saying is so true" "Right" "Look how happy he is" "Let me hold him" "Be careful" "Little fellow, even you bully me" "Let me take him, you've made him cry again" "Be careful" "Don't be afraid" "Siao Bao, you'd better hold him" "Alright" "Cousin, sing some English songs to him again" "Falling down, falling down" "London bridge's falling down" "Falling down, falling down" "Their birthmarks..." "He has wetted his diapers" "Take him" "Naughty child, we've to change the diapers" "Peter, bring the diapers here" "Be good" "Thank you" "His bottom should have a birthmark" "It's cold without the sun" "It's not cold at all" "A swim will help the blood circulation" "I do this all the time" "Have you caught a cold?" "No, it's just allergy" "Your swimming trunks look good" "Take it off and let me take a look" "My God" "If you like it, I can give it to you afterwards" "Is swimming in nude popular from where you came?" "Occasionally some people do" "It's popular over here" "Swimming in the nude will increase sexual potency" "Fantastic" "Did you know that according to psychological theory when a man takes off his pants... he can show off his prowess and confidence" "So much power" "Take it off" "What's there to be afraid of?" "Let me help you" "Peter, Siao Bao, the meal is ready" "Go in and eat" "Coming, I'll show you confidence tomorrow" "Quickly, you too" "My swimming trunks" "I'm coming" "No..." "Could it be on the back?" "Peter, what are you doing?" "I want to take your pants off" "Peter, what are you doing?" "Though I've studied abroad" "I don't like this sort of game" "Don't misunderstand" "I only want to have a look at your bottom" "Take off your pants" "No, what are you doing?" "Take it off" "Don't, let me go" "Peter, what are you doing?" "Let me go" "I won't take advantage of you" "Peter, what are you doing?" "Peter, I am asking you" "Did you become gay when I was pregnant?" "Speak" "I will sue him" "Auntie..." "I must sue him" "Peter is not that kind of person" "He must have his reason" "You've got it" "Since you are all here" "I will say what has been inside my heart for this whole year" "I regret most that you went for artificial insemination because you've actually been made pregl by someone else" "Peter, what are you talking about?" "It's true, isn't it?" "Why of all places did you choose" "Hawaii?" "Why?" "Because you knew he was there" "Also..." "I heard with my own ears that day you said the child is his, right?" "Also, why of all times did you only return when the child was born?" "If you have nothing to do with it how could you be so precise about the date?" "Peter" "You needn't be so loud, it's simple because that child told me who his father is" "What are you talking about?" "How can that be?" "A one-month old child could speak?" "I am a psychiatrist" "I should know what he is talking about" "Both you  the child have a mole on left hand" "Right?" "This is called heredity" "Also... if you have the guts, take off your pants right i" "Why are you after me taking off my pants?" "Because the child's bottom has a red mole and yours should have one too" "Take your pants off" "Is it that simple?" "Then I'll show you" "Cousin, don't" "Peter, you're crazy" "Yes, I am" "If I weren't, I wouldn't have left an adulterer here" "Cousin and I are innocent" "Let me tell you" "You get out of here right now" "Get out of here?" "This is my house why should I leave?" "Are you leaving or not?" "You bastard, you are speaking nonsense" "Let me beat you up and wake you up" "You bastard" "Get lost and never come back" "No problem" "I won't come back" "Are you going just like that?" "Take your stuff with you" "You bastard, I'll kill you" "I must kill you" "You want to commit murder?" "Aunt...don't...put it down" "Let me go, are you leaving or not?" "Aunt, forget it...go in to your room" "Let it go..." "Since you were 13 when you knew how to use a blow dryer" "I've never seen you wake so early to get a sun tan" "Your happy hour is earlier than mine" "I really wish I were 13 again so I could start all over again" "Are you asking me to start all over again?" "In your next life" "Next life?" "In my next life I'd rather be... a normal sperm" "So you came back the middle of the nig because of this" "Why can't you accept your wife's artificial insemination?" "I really don't understand our Mui family tree has reached an end with your generation" "Charlie said we've been weak since great grandfather generation but you are lucky" "You have me" "And I am not that lucky" "I have no son, you know" "Before Yuan Kwun left" "I've already reminded you to think carefully that there's no point of getting a replacement" "Even if you don't have children you should leave it at that" "Of the 3 unfilial sins, greatest is having no children" "I did this for you, father" "From where did you learn such backward ideas?" "The University of Hong Kong" "When I was at Yin Jing University there was already no such thing" "I didn't realise you're more backward than I am" "You should be more updated than I am" "What?" "What are you talking about?" "Nothing" "Siao Bao" "Uncle" "Siao Bao is here, you know him" "What are you doing here?" "I've come to tell you that" "I'll be off to U.S. on the 11 o'clock plane" "I thought you've come to tell me that you have a red mole on your bottom" "What?" "Whose bottom has a red mole?" "Because my left hand has a black mole as the child and the child has a red mole on his bottom so he suspects that I've got one too on my butt" "So what?" "This is heredity" "That's the reason why you came back so late you had a fight with your wife last night" "You accept artificial insemination but can't see her being pregnant, is this correct?" "Otherwise, how come it's such a coincidence that... both of them have a black mole on their hands" "I have a black mole here, and according to your theory" "I should be the child of Wu Kam and Wu Kam will then be your granny" "I think you are crazy" "Are you drunk?" "Drink this too" "I don't know about his bottom, but..." "I know very clearly about yours, take off your pants" "Father, what is it?" "Look carefully" "The child is mine too" "If you are really that good the child is all yours why share it with others?" "I don't want you to blame the wrong person" "My work requires me to keep things confidential but for the sake of Yuan Kwun" "I can tell you who the child's father is" "He wouldn't be an Indian, would he?" "It's a Chinese scientist but he died half a year ago in a car accident" "Li Ching Do" "He's not dead yet" "Bruce Lee" "Li Ka Shing" "Li Chum Foon" "They only appear in fiction" "Li Sau Yin, Li Lin Kit, Li Yung Kei" "Don't go, come back" "Even if you don't tell me the name you can still indicate to me in Arabic" "It is Wu Tao Dan (fool)" "Wu Tao Dan?" "He's talking about you" "If you don't apologize to Yuan Kwun you will be a fool" "Yuan Kwun, it's me" "Open the door, Yuan Kwun, it's me" "What are you doing?" "No one knows you here, go away" "Mom..." "What is it, Mr. Mui?" "You can't go in" "Mr. Mui...what are you doing?" "I want to use your podium" "No, you can't..." "I've offended my wife" "I want to get into your room and climb over" "Mr. Mui, you can't go in" "Who is he?" "He's my cousin" "Cousin...another cousin" "Why did you let him in?" "Who knows, he barged in" "What are we going to do?" "There're some noises downstairs" "The old man is back" "You said he won't come Monday, Wed." "Friday?" "How'd I know why he came back all of a sudden?" "I've been trying to find out who cuckolded me so it's the four-eyed frog next door" "Hey" "Hi" "Don't go" "What is it, Mr. Wang?" "Come in and talk" "I can't come in" "I must go back immediately or I'll be dead" "I don't care" "Mr. Wang, why are you holding me?" "Listen to me, Mr. Wang" "It must be you" "Where's my wife?" "Your wife...isn't she in the room?" "I was with her in the room just now" "Mr. Wang, don't get excited" "Mr. Mui, how can you do that to me?" "We are neighbours, how dare you do such a thing" "It's my fault, I've wronged your wife" "I won't talk to you anymore" "I'll go find Linda and be back for you" "Mr. Wang" "Don't be so excited, Mr. Wang" "Go in" "Linda, I've got you" "You thought I'm still in the office" "Cousin" "Come out" "Damn" "Mrs. Wang, what's the matter?" "Do you know what men are most afraid of?" "I know, it's wearing the green hat (being cuckolded)" "Good that you know" "Mr. Wang..." "So you are angry because of this" "It's my fault" "There's no need for you to be so mad" "How can I not be mad?" "She's after all my wife" "Don't misunderstand, it's not her fault" "It's all because of me" "She's innocent" "If it only happens once it's already good enough" "Once she was in my house and met my mother-in-law" "We've settled our score" "You bitch, you dare to deliver to the door" "Mr. Wang, we are neighbours" "It's quite natural for us to go in and out" "What in and out?" "For convenience's sake" "You're a professor and yet you give me a green hat" "Peter..." "Peter, what's the matter?" "Don't stop me" "Don't stop me, let go of me" "Take it" "Mom, what are you doing?" "I want to climb over" "Be careful" "Mom, what happened?" "Come over quickly" "I'll cripple you" "Don't fight..." "Bastard, don't run" "Stop, why are you beating my son-in-law?" "Why?" "Ask him" "Mr. Wang, you've misunderstood" "About the matter of the green hat" "I've misunderstood my wife" "I've come back to apologize to her" "So you and my wife are not..." "Not at all" "I'm in fact like you being suspicious all the time" "Honestly speaking, every wife is good isn't that right, Yuan Kwun?" "Also husbands should always trust their wives" "Correct, mom?" "Now you know" "Who is he?" "I know him, let me introduce" "He's the cousin of your wife" "Cousin, how come I haven't met him before?" "I..." "He..." "Don't be mistaken, don't be like me thinking that cousins have affairs" "Don't think that like the old days cousins would meet secretly in the backyard" "Right, I'd have blamed the wrong person again ...if it were not for you" "Come...cousin" "Brother-in-law" "No...cousin" "Now I even trust other people's cousins" "Let bygones be bygones" "See if you dare to ask to have a child agai" "Why did you break the TV?" "I don't like this programme so I broke it" "You two be good" "You're fighting all day" "Father, see my flying kick" "Can you be quiet?" "You've messed up the sitting room" "Don't fight" "Bad things are usually more efficacious than good" "Never listen to doctors" "I have 6 children after the eldest" "All six are boys, the eldest is already 10 years old" "Father, you're wrong, I'm only nine and a half" "Nine and a half, he is so good in mathematics" "Peter" "Peter, number seven is hungry" "Coming...it's so troublesome to have so many kids" "Can't even remember all their names that's why they are numbered, this is Mui Tsat (seven)"