"Man, this thing rides smooth." " It's very nice." " Yes." "It's like riding on the ass of an angel." "I mean, I wish I could have sold a crossover like this." "I wouldn't have been able to keep them in stock." "Did you know that there are 5,000 teenagers here... between 15 and 18?" "There's four high schools." "Three private schools." "Nice." "The average income's over $100,000." " How many courses?" " Three private." "One public." "Looks like I'll be getting my swing back." "We are gonna do some damage in this town." "What do you think, kids?" "Huh?" " And we're home." " I think this looks good." " Mick." " I got it." "This is it, huh?" "Wow." "It's huge." " Yeah, this is pretty nice." " Quick, quick." " Okay, I'll get a video." " Let's get In." "Oh." "Hey, sir, um, do you mind helping us out?" " Sure." " Just wanna get a quick video." " No problem." " It's real simple." "Here's the viewfinder." "Hit the button." "Then I can send the video to my grandma." " No kiddin'." " Yeah." " Is this new?" "What is this?" " Yeah, it's the new HTC." "This is great." " All right." " Okay, everybody smile." " Hi, Grandma." " Hi, Grandma!" "I am an incredibly powerful salesperson... constantly climbing the ladder of success." "I'm an incredibly powerful salesperson... constantly climbing the ladder of success." " I am an incredibly powerful salesperson.." " Put your shoes on, Larry." "We've gotta go welcome those new neighbors right now." "Don't you think we should at least let the people settle in?" "I will never become an Omega Strata Robustion..." "Cosmetic Associate waiting for people to settle in." "Please, boo-boo." "I am an incredibly powerful salesperson, constantly.." "...climbing the ladder of success." "Neighbors." "Hello!" "Well, hi." "We're the Symondses from next door." "I'm Summer, and this is my husband Larry." " Hey, neighbours." " I just wanted to bring you this welcome gift... of various samples from the new Robustion Aphrodite line of beauty products." "But I'm sure you're in no mood for guests." " Don't be silly." " Come in." "Come in." " I'm Steve Jones." " Hi." "Nice to meet you." " Steve." " Larry Symonds." "Pleased to meet you." " This is Jenn and Mick, and I'm Kate." " Hello." " Hi, Mick." " Nice to meet you." " So nice to meet you." " You too." "Do you have kids?" "Because they should come over and meet Mick and Jenn." "Actually, we don't." "I was.." " I wasn't able.." " What?" "I know that with a big move in "conduction"... with a woman's naturally fluctuating hormones... it can leave your skin a wreck... but you'll find that the Aphrodite Line... of beauty products can really give you a glow." "I bet." "Look at you." "You're a vision of beauty." "Well, thank you." "You're welcome." "Larry, wanna grab a cold one?" " Come on." " Okay?" " Sure." " Yeah, sure." "Okay." "Come on in." " Well, would you like a tour?" " Sure." " These rooms are divine." " Thank you." "You should come over to our house, and we can talk decor." "I would love that." "Boy." "I'm very "impassionate" about interiors myself." "So what line of work is your husband in?" "Well, you know, he does a little of this and a little of that... and mostly he works on keeping me happy." "You're right." "This is really a good beer." "I told you that would hit the spot." "Hey, that was a...nice visit..." " with the Symondses today, wasn't it?" " Yeah." "It was." "I think that you may have overdone it a little." "What do you mean?" ""A vision of beauty"?" "Come on." "I was just having fun." "And she loved it." "Made her day." " Well, I love your enthusiasm." " Thank you." "I just think you need to go slow." "Oh, this is a soft, soft bed." "I could really get used to being in it." "It's nice." " Sweet dreams." " Good night." "All right." "This is a very big day." "Your first day of your new school." " Important you make a good impression." " I have my sweater right there." " Good morning." " Good morning." "Morning." "So what are you doing today, Daddy?" "I am, I'm gonna try to scare up a golf game." " What are you gonna do?" " You know, a little mani-pedi... maybe a facial, get my hair done." "I think we're gonna do really, really well here." "But you guys are gonna be late." " Oh!" "We are." " Let's get going." "Here you go." "Thank you." "See you later." "It's not just created." "He pulls it from the air around him, from the.." "May I help you?" "Hi." "We have a new student joining us today." "This is Jennifer Jones." "It's Jenn." "All right, Jenn." "Choose any available seat." "Thanks." " I love your shoes." " Thanks." "The biatch borrowed 'em from me." "Hey, Jones!" "Jones!" "Steve!" " Hey, Larry." " You playin' today?" "No." "You know, I haven't really met anybody." "So.." "Well, you can play with me." "I'm paired up with a couple of guys, but there's room for a fourth." " I wouldn't want to impose on you." " Don't be silly." " You can ride with me." " Really?" "Thanks, Larry." " No problem." " Thank you." " Hi." " You've got real straight teeth." "Thanks." "See you later." " Bye, sweetie." " Thank you." "New client." "Are you Kate?" " Yes." " So sorry about the wait." "You know how it is." "When the mouth starts going, there goes the whole day." "I'm Billay." "Welcome to my salon." "You're not from around here, are you?" "I just saw that YSL bag... and I know you didn't get that around here." "We just moved here yesterday." "So how on earth did you find me?" "Well, I... do my research..." " and anyone who's anyone knows you're the best." " Isn't that the truth." "And there isn't anyone who's anyone that I don't know." "So." "What are we going to do today?" "I'm a mess from the move." "I think I need an overhaul." "Sugar, if this is a mess, then I want whatever you're taking." "That'll play." "Nothing' wrong with that." " Clean livin'." " Yeah." " Nice shot." " Thank you." " Have you seen these new MP-52 irons?" " I don't believe I have." "They have a lower, deeper center of gravity..." " so they're more forgiving." " Really?" "Yeah, so if they'll forgive me.." " They'll forgive anyone." " Very nice." "Excuse me." " Hey, baby." " Hi, baby." "How's your game?" "My game's great." "How's your game?" " Fantastic." "I was just missing you." " Bye-bye, Kate." " It was great meeting you." " You too, Sylvia." " And I'll see you tomorrow for that yoga class." " Right." " I see you're making some new friends." " Well, I'm trying." " That's hot." " Oh, I love this." " The phone's great but I was talking about the husband." " He's pretty yummy too." " Hello?" " Don't come home too tired." "Bye." "Love you." "I love you." " You lucky bitch." " I know." "You know what I'm gonna do for you?" "I'm gonna have a special lunch to introduce you to my ladies." " I would love that." " You got it." "Hello?" "How'd it go today?" " Very well." " Did you make friends?" "I did." "I made friends." "Did you get their, contact info?" "Of course I did." "Great." "Well, your dinner's in the fridge." "You like that?" "Jenn?" " Come on." "Let's go." " Shit!" " Let go of me!" " Kate" "Get your clothes on." "I'll handle this." "No." "Nothing happened." "Ladies, come on." "Goddamn it, Jenn." "We told them that this was not going to happen again." " What, are you jealous?" " That's ridiculous." "Now, hold on!" "If you're not gonna do him, why can't I?" " Do you want me to call KC?" " Freak's back in action, huh?" " Fuck you!" " Mick, stay out of this." "Go get in your room now." "Night, Dad." "Shit." " Why did you let her in your room?" " Come on." "I was sleeping." "You're not blaming me?" "She's got a problem." "What am I supposed to do?" "Well, we're not gonna solve this tonight... so we're gonna discuss it in the morning." "Good morning." "You have a nice glow about you." "Did you sleep well?" " That's very funny." " Hi." " I really think we should talk.." " Good morning." "Good morning." "We should talk about.." " Good morning." "What happened.." " Morning." "Good morning." "What happened last night." "Jenn, do you have something to say?" "Oh, yeah." "I'm so sorry." "You know, you're new and I totally took advantage of the situation." "I shouldn't do that." "I'm so sorry." "This really wasn't covered in my orientation." " Well, we may not be a normal family.." " You think?" "But we do have to operate as a team." "We have a huge opportunity here." "I'd like to see us keep our focus." " Our first review is in 30 days." " Gotta sell, sell, sell." " All right." "Can I get a ride with you?" " Bite me." " Kate, this is why I need a car." " I don't wanna hear it." "Mick, wait." "I'm gonna be late for my hot yoga class." " Oh, you know, sure." "That's really.." " Have a nice day." "You have a nice day too." "Hi." "I'm Steve Jones." "You can call me Steve." "Or Mr. Jones." "Steve's fine." " Bye." " See ya, Jenn." "All right, then." "I'm sure you're all eager to hear your results... from our first month of sales." "Let's start with Steve." "Total sales in this first month... up three and a half percent." " All right." " Here are a few highlights." "Sporting goods, four percent increase." "Watches, up two percent." "Golf-related merchandise, three percent." " Nice." " Okay, Mick." "Overall sales up 16%." "Yes." "Video games, up 13." " Sportswear is up 21." " Cool." "Excellent." "Way to open up the market, Mick." "Good work." "And Jenn" " Up 14% overall." " Solid work, my dear." " You did good." " Hey, you're still two down." " Kate." " Congratulations on being our top producer." " Thank you." "Up 20%." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Cosmetics, up 24." "Great form." "Thank you." "Are you focused?" "Am I focused?" "Yeah, I'm focused." "You know, you were a great car salesman." "People trusted you and they liked you... so they bought what you were selling." "But you're not selling things anymore." "To succeed here, you can't just sell things." "You're here to sell a lifestyle, an attitude." " Right." " If people want you..." "They'll want what you've got." "Do the clients know how this works?" "Of course not." "That's why it's called "stealth marketing."" "The fact is, we get results." "How we go about that is our business." "The question you have to ask yourself is how far are you willing to go to get what you want?" "It's called killer instinct." "If you can find it... you could have anything you want." "Anything." "Thanks." "I don't think he's got it." "I think we may have to bag him." "No, no." "I.." "I know he's green." "He just needs some time." "And I can deal with this." "I warned you not to pick a rookie... in your first "head of household."" "You've known me a long time." "I can handle this." "I'll give you 60 days." "But this is your ass on the line, not mine." "Thank you." "Thank you." "You won't regret it." "We'll see, won't we?" "We're in a terrible situation right now." "Why are you talking about spending?" "Have you read my new book?" " I have, and I disagree with you completely." " Oh, okay." "Looks like sales for luxury items have been up for the last two months." "You think we're in a bull market?" "That's what I said." "Spend, spend, spend." "Bull market's around the corner." "I understand that bulls are bad." "Anyone can see how upside-down the entire market is." "Foreclosures at an all-time high.." "That's true." "About four million foreclosed homes this year." "The dollar is on its way up." "I'm telling you." "If you want to spend your way out... the dollar will end up the same way as the peso." " Hey." " Hey." "So we need to step it up, so I've decided that we're gonna throw a party." "Jesus." "Look at Larry." "He is a miserable bastard." "My guess is they sleep in separate bedrooms." "Yeah, I know how that feels." "This is serious, and I'd really like you to focus." "Okay?" "I mean, we really need to pull out all the stops." "I'd like to put our contact list to good use... and start to showcase all we've got." "It's a good time for me to wear the YSL dress." "I'd really like to roll out the Van Cleef earrings." "I think you have some of those Costume National that.." "Have a chance to.." "Thank you." "I really have some things that I'd like.." "to talk to you.." "So I.." "There's some things that I want.." " Hey, Larry." " Come on." "Come on." " Hey." " Hey." " I'm on poop patrol here." " Nice." "Mind if I ask you a question?" "Think Kate'll like these?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I think so." " What's the occasion?" " No occasion." " Oh, geez." "Summer would love those." " Yeah." " Well, business is good, isn't it?" " Oh, yeah." "Yeah." " Terrific." "Absolutely." " This is what it's all about." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, I guess so." "You.." "Are you gonna play today?" "Oh, no." "You know, I pulled.." "I kinda pulled a muscle." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "Kate and I are into this new tantric sex thing." "I don't know how I got in the.." "But it, you know.." " It went too far." " Yeah." "Well, I.." " I sure haven't pulled any muscles lately." " No?" "You know how I keep it fresh between Kate and me?" "Good listening?" "No." "No, no." "It's about me never really believing that I have her." "Being full of surprises..." "and a steady stream of gifts." " It's great to see you." " Hi." "How are you?" " Have you tried this yet?" " Yes, and.." "I think you're gonna love it." "How are you ladies?" "Are you enjoying that Pomtini?" "It's good, yeah?" "Well, we'll just, make sure we'll keep 'em coming." "This vodka is either.." "It's either from Mexico or Antarctica." " How are you guys doing?" " Hi." "Oh, those earrings are gorgeous." "Thank you." "Steve surprised me." " What was the occasion?" " It was a Tuesday gift." " Tuesday?" " What's a Tuesday gift?" "Just for being Tuesday." " Oh, my." " That's so romantic." "Makes me want a cannelloni." " These are delicious." " You like 'em?" "Who does your catering?" "Chef Robert." " No." " Really?" "Excuse me." "Will you show that?" " I didn't know he was doing frozen food." " Can you believe it?" "You know, we had the most incredible chicken "fricazini"... homemade, at the Robustion spring gala.." "I've got to try the sushi." "Now, this is one thing you won't find in your freezer." "Oh, yes, it is." "Wataru flash-frozen sushi." "This is the view from base camp." "I can't believe you actually climbed Everest." "The Sherpas are the key, you know." "You don't wanna do it without the Sherpas." "Man, this system's great." "Yeah, with the bundle of services... you get the clearest HD picture." "All your personal media is just a click away." " You can see it.." " What are you boys up to?" "...best HD picture." "Are you showing off your new toy?" "Guilty." "Yeah." "And... who's your favorite toy?" "You are." "All right, can I get you guys another.." "No, no." "I'm good." "It's a little hot in here." "Thank you." " Maybe a big boy drink?" " No, I'm good, thank you." " Do you want something?" " I'm.." "Nice." "Where were we?" "Watch for the guy on the top right now." " All right." " Shoot him." "Shoot him now." " Awesome!" " Told you this was easy." "What kind of shit did your parents do to get you that thing?" " What are you talking about?" " I know a guilt gift when I see one... and that one's got "I'm sorry for being a fucked-up parent"... written all over it." "Yeah, I guess so." " I'm Naomi." " Mick." "I know." "You have this whole cult following at school." " I do?" " Yeah." "You've been there, what, two months?" "Everyone's drinking your Kool-Aid." "So, why are you here?" "You a friend of Jenn's?" "Yeah, right." "Yeah." "Can't you see me with that crowd?" "No, not really." "I'm here with my parents." "Wanna get high?" "Sure." "Yeah." " Wow." " Oh, yeah." "Well, it must be really big to be called "the hammer."" "Well, yeah." "I'd love to show it to you." "Really?" "Yeah." "You'll have to stop by the marina one day.." " .." "Soon." " I would love to." "That'd be great." "Yeah." "You know what?" "I'm gonna have to go." "Well, it was nice meeting you, Mr. Bayner." "You too." "Bye, now." "There you are, sweetheart." "How's it going?" "You have a good time?" " What are you doing?" " Mingling." "Maybe you might wanna go and show the girls your room." "How are you guys doing?" "This sushi is incredible." " You guys are so wonderful." " Nobody throws a party like you do." "Well, we'll have to do it again." " Troublemaker." " Hey, look who's here." "You know who this is." "The lady of the evening." "Naomi?" "Do you wanna know why all those people are in my house right now?" " It's a party." "Duh." " Yeah." "No, it's so my so-called "family"..." "Can show off all their shit." "And you know all those people... are fucking blown away by it all." "Yeah." "That sounds like something my parents would do." "Aren't you two the sexy couple?" "Don't forget about lunch next week." "Good night." " I think it went great... tonight." " Yeah." "I mean, I personally didn't feel like I, connected with Melanie." "I don't know if you.." "Did you speak with her husband, Alex?" "Slow down." "Slow down." "It was fine." "It was perfect." "You were perfect." "You" " You know, you don't realize the effect you have on people." "Thank you." " Just, doing my job." " Yeah." "You might want to lay off the Robert hors d'oeuvres though." " Why?" "What do you mean?" " Oh, God." "Loaded in garlic." " Are you kidding?" "Really?" " No, not kidding." "No, no, no." " Oh, my God." " Good night." "Some party tonight, huh?" "Oh, my God." "That house." "I could die for that dining set." "Think she'll buy any of your products?" "They seem to buy everything else." "I think I can make her if I..." "concentrate on it hard enough." "You look really beautiful tonight." "Honey..." "You know that my inspirations need to be my last thoughts before I go to sleep." "This is how I get what I want." "You should really try it sometime." "I think it could really help you, Larry." " Hey." " Mind if I join you?" "Sure, come on." "Want some burrito?" " Chef Robert." " No, thank you." "I ate something earlier." " Yeah?" "What did you have?" " A protein bar." " A protein bar?" " Yeah." "Tasty." "So I was just looking at the numbers since the party." " And you're really improving." " Great." "I thought maybe we could talk about ways that you could do even better." "Kate, come on." "It's our day off." "I thought maybe we wouldn't talk shop." "But this is really important." "I mean, you're still selling to individuals and what you want to create..." " is a ripple effect where you get other people selling for you." " You should maybe relax." "Is there anything you like to do to relax?" " Like go shopping or watch some football or get a massage?" " There's always people..." " who others look to for advice.." " You like massages, don't you?" "Or the inside scoop." "And then they become the connectors that reach the consumer on your behalf." "Do you know what I mean?" "What?" "I just thought we'd have a normal conversation like normal people today." "I don't know if you understand the pressure." "I mean, you know, this isn't about me selling my products." "I have to ensure that my unit is selling their products." "You have a unit?" " That explains why we're in separate bedrooms perhaps." "You're not a great salesman." "You're a charismatic guy and that's great." "But if you don't apply yourself, then that's all you're gonna be." " So this is just business?" " Yeah, this is business." "And I'm your boss." "I don't.." "I don't need to be friends." "Oh." "Okay." "Boss." "Ripple effect." "Connectors." "Unit." "I got it." " Glad we could talk." " Great." "Yeah, Bill Johnson said you turned him on to these." "Can't stop talking about how great the polarized lenses are." " Yeah, those are sweet." " I know you'll love 'em." " Thanks." "Put them on my account." " Great." "No problem, gentlemen." "I think I'm gonna get some too." " Anything I can help you with, Mr. Jones?" " I'd like to book a lesson." "Sure." "No problem." "Let's see." "I can get you in on Thursday with Bob Senior." "No, no, no." "I would like to book a lesson with you, Will." " Really?" " You teach, don't you?" "Well, yeah, mostly to kids." "I saw you out there the other day." "You got a sweet swing." " Oh, hey." " Hey." "Sorry." " How was your day today?" " Fine." " How was yours?" " Good." "You know, I wanted to talk to you, about our conversation." "Forget about it." "Business is business." "Okay, nice." "A little more weight on your back foot there." " Back foot?" " Yeah." "Nice." "Will, I do believe you just added 40 yards to my drive." " You're a magician." " Let me see that driver." "Will, thanks for pairing me up with those guys today." " Hey, no problem, Mr. Jones." " Who am I playing with tomorrow?" " Don't worry." "I got a great threesome lined up for you." " You the man." " Cool shirt, by the way." " Thank you." "Under Armour." "If you're looking for drivers, these are the best." "I was on the course today, and Mr. Jones drove a 320." "It was awesome." " Whoa, nice shot, Charlie." " I wish I could take credit." "The kid in the clubhouse turned me on to those new Mizunos." "That kid's got the scoop on everything." " Tennis, huh?" " Yeah, doubles with Melanie and the girls." " Cute outfit." " Your numbers are looking good." "Thanks, boss." " Great, Steve." "Thanks." " Don't mention it." "Hand rolled from Cuban seeds." "Hey, you want to join us for drinks later?" "What, are you kidding?" "First round's on me, boys." "Nice watch." "Hey, whoever dies with the most toys wins." "No, don't be silly." "Let me.." "Let me help you with this." "Well, I'll invite some friends over... and then you can bring whatever mask over that you'd like to try." "We're gonna absolutely help you get some new customers, and we'll have a nice time." "All right, Summer." "No problem." "Yes." "Doesn't it feel wonderful?" "It's the Robustion "Replenishingister"Mask... and it got ginkgo and wasabi extract." "This house is gorgeous." "Can you get over the furniture?" " More champagne, ladies?" " It's all the latest Ethan Allen." "He's got fabulous things." "I know because I was just at the design center myself yesterday looking at new things." "Ladles, I just came from the washroom... and the toilet seat raised up and waved to me." "Well, I hope that you introduced yourself." " To Toto, my Tokyo toilet." " Toto?" "Well, if that's Toto, then just call me the Wizard." "'Cause it gave me a power wash to my undercarriage, and a happy-ending blow-dry." "And let me just say, with a friend like Toto... that you are never lonely." "Where is that fabulous husband of yours?" "Golfing, where else?" " A man's work is never done, huh?" " Never." "Honey, I am home." " Speak of the devil." " I missed you today." "Well, hello." "Good afternoon, ladies." " My, my." " That's what I'm talking about." "So, what was that?" "Just applying myself." "Don't tell me the ladies weren't impressed." "Hey, Jones." "Terry was totally checking you out." "Him?" "Please." " What's wrong with him?" " Yeah, he's hot." " I date men." " Excuse me?" " Who's "the Hammer"?" " What?" "You guys are gonna have to go on without me." " No way." "What are you doing?" " I'm gonna go see a friend." "Is he cute?" "Don't get kidnapped." "Hey, do you have any more of those diet pills?" "Have you seen these guys before?" "They're pretty good." "Yep." "My brother's really into them." "You'll meet him when he comes home." "Cool." "I gotta go." "I can't be late for my therapist appointment." "Oh, shrinks, no." "No, shrinks suck." "Yeah, well, it keeps my parents off my back so" "Yeah, I guess that's important." "Hey, can I ask you something?" "Sure, what?" "How come you've never tried anything with me?" "I don't know." "I like you, Mick." "You're not like the rest of those lame posers around here." "Well, I like you too." "Good." "What are you doing?" "Hey." " I thought you guys had already.." " What?" " Left." " Yeah, we're just about to leave." "Well, then can I borrow some L'Artisan?" " Why do you want it?" " I'm going to a party." "Well, I mean, there are gonna be kids from other schools there... so I thought I'd work every angle." "Is that a brand you really think they'd be interested in?" "Oh, God, yeah, Kate." "I mean, kids these days are totally wearing upscale brands." " Okay." " Thank you." "Good luck." "And where are the Joneses taking the kids for break?" "Well, we're so excited." "We're going on safari in Kenya." "Yeah, yeah." "It's this amazing outfit." "Spaulding and Kent Tours." "They do everything for you." "They've done all of our family trips." "They're the best." " Really?" " Oh, yes." "I mean, every time." " You should give them the contact." " I will." " I'm going to the ladies' room." " Okay." "Steve?" "Steve Cerilla." "It is you." "I couldn't believe it." "I just saw you from over there." "How are you doing?" "Where you been, man?" "I'm an old friend of Steve's." "My name Is Henry." " Cerrilla?" " Where you been?" "I'm sorry to interrupt." "Excuse me, but I think you're sitting in my wife's seat." "Wife?" "This guy was the biggest stud in Scottsdale, Arizona." " Excuse me, this is my seat." " You're serious?" "Oh, my goodness." "This is" "You finally tamed the savage beast, huh?" "Unbelievable." "Come here." " I'm sorry." " I am so happy for you." " You know, I.." " I'm Henry." "I'm an old friend of Steve's." "I wish that I knew you, but I think you've got me mistaken with somebody else." " I think you've made a mistake." " I don't think." "Are you.." " I'm not that guy." " What?" "Could you please come with me, sir?" "A breath of fresh air." " I don't need air." " Walk this way." "What are you talking about?" "I don't get it." "That's not cool, dude." "I am terribly, terribly sorry." "Please enjoy your dinner." " That was odd." " That was weird." "That is like the third time since we've been here... that somebody's mistaken you for this Steve Cer" " Has it been three times?" " Yes." " I get mistaken for someone a lot, but.." " Really?" "It's usually Tiger Woods." " Anyway.." " Do you have some kind of secret life going on?" "Baby, you bet I do." " To secret lives." " To secret lives." "Cheers." " You look like you could use a drink." " Thank you." "I think the kids must be working late." "You know, Jenn, I don't know if she's taking my advice.." "but I actually think that she's starting to get it." "Oh, you smell great." "It's L'Artisan." " Oh, yes." " You like that, baby?" "Here you go, super-stud of Scottsdale." "Well, it's not as big of an achievement as it sounds." "It was more of a retirement community." "You know the great thing about this job?" "What?" "You get to be whoever you want to be." "Yeah?" "But I'm not Steve Jones, you know." "I'm a single, 45-year-old... failed golf pro, car salesman... pretending to be someone I'm not." "I know who you are." "Stop." " What?" " We can't." "Why not?" "This part is pretend." " Is it?" " It has to be." "Good night." "Good night." "What?" "Larry, what?" "Hey, hey, Steve." "Look at you." " You're kidding." "That is awesome." " I thought I'd go with the red." "Just a little bit hotter than the gray, what do you think?" "I'm jealous." "You look different." " You dog." " Oh, yes." " Holler at a player, yo." " Steady stream of gifts." " Sweet." " I'm taking care of the luxuries." " Okay, that's great." " I got something for you too." " You didn't have to do that." " It's top of the line." "Laser guide." "No, I can't" " I can't take that." "No, seriously, Steve." "I insist." "I really want to thank you for helping me out." "What are friends for, right?" " Enjoy it." " Well, thank you." "You bet." "Take care." " Say hi to that wife of yours." " All right." "Do you mind just looking Into the camera and stating your name?" "Steve Cerilla." "So let me ask you." "Tell me about yourself." "I" " You really came very, highly recommended..." " and your resume is very impressive." " Thank you." "So you would be the- the one who was, playing the role with me." "Yes, I would." "Have you ever worked for a woman?" "Well, it's something I've thought about a lot recently." " Because I have never been married.." " I saw that." "Either real or imaginary." "In all seriousness, I've thought.." "what it might be like to meet a woman.." "who I would be a better person for." "That just hasn't happened, so.." "Hey, you know, I got an idea." "Why don't we see a movie today?" "I don't get it." "What would we sell there?" "Nothing, it's just, you know, for fun." "Movie." "Fun." " Yeah, well, I'm busy." " Sorry, dude." "It's their day off." " Can I ask you a question?" " Sure." "What were your other 12 husbands like?" "There weren't 12." "Okay, 10." "Whatever." "Please, there were six." "Six?" "Okay, Henry VIII." "What were they like?" " I don't know." " You don't know?" "You spend a year with a guy... pretending to be husband and wife and you don't get to know him at all?" "Well, you know, you've seen one Mr. Jones, you've seen 'em all." " All right." " You can laugh." "All right, well, I'm gonna... take my coffee down to the basement, all right?" "See you later." "Bye." "Have a nice day off, okay?" " Merry Christmas, everybody." " Merry Christmas." "As you can see, these are the products our clients are pushing for the holidays." "And it's up to you to make sure.." "They're under every tree in town." "Well, I can't." "I can't say that I'm hating this." " I'm glad that you like it." " You have excellent taste." " Thank you." " Is this for me?" "No." "They're for your girlfriend, Naomi." "She'll be selling to her little counter-culture friends without even knowing it." "If she's gonna be with you, she's gonna need some style." " Do I look like Elton John?" " Jenn." "Kate tells me you don't have a boyfriend yet, which is unusual for you, no?" "It would be nice if you could have... a romantic interest by Christmas." "Working on it." "This has been in the stores 10 days." ""Rudy's Rum Punch." Mmm, 17% alcohol." "Not for you." " A bit lowbrow, don't you think?" " It's up to you to change that." "There's one other thing I almost forgot." "Steve, wanna come outside?" "Enjoy." " The all new Audi R8." " Yeah?" "It's for you." "I thought you deserve a little bonus." "Your numbers have shown tremendous improvement." "Keep it up and this cell could make icon status." "Go on." "I'll bet you look great in it." "Hey, Mick." "Check it out." "Get in." "Is something bothering you?" " I don't know." " You know.." "If you want to talk about something... anything, you know, you can always just... you know, talk to your fake mother... or you can talk to me." "This whole act, it just.." "It gets to me." "Who's acting?" "I love this car." "That's not what I meant." "Just think of it this way." "We're making a match... between great products and the people that want them." "It's a service." "Hey, Larry." " Lookin' good, Steve." " You too, player." "I think you just ruined his day." "Oh, sweet." "Sweet, indeed." "I just wanted to remind you that we have dinner reservations at 8:00." "Good." "That sounds good." "Want to hit a few?" " Golf?" "No." " Yeah, come on." "I'll teach you." "That's what I did before the job at the dealership." "I taught golf." "Hang on to that." "You're gonna hit some golf balls." "Have you ever done it before?" " No." " Okay." "Perfect." "Your knees bend in a little bit." "Weight on the inside of your feet." " Straight back with the butt out a little bit." " Butt out?" " Very nice." " Okay." " Well, the hair." "I'm just.." " I got it." "Go." "What does icon mean?" "Oh!" "Whoa!" "That's a no-no." "I spoke on your backswing." " Where did you hear that?" " KC said something about it." "Exactly what did she say?" "She said something about making icon status or something like that." " Do you know what that means?" " No." "It's the top tier of the family cells." "I mean, we'll be bringing high-end goods to market first." "Life image is gonna be looking for our input.." "before proceeding with any products." "You and me." "Do you know how long that I have been working towards this?" " Oh, my God." " Oh, wow." "That's.." " Oh." "I'm sorry." " That's okay." "Geez." "I should say "icon" more often." "I love boats." "I just wanna..." "Go away with you forever." "We could sail the Mediterranean." "You wouldn't believe how beautiful it is." "I can imagine." "Where are the Bayners?" "Are they... habitually late?" "I have a confession to make." "I don't think they're gonna make it tonight." "Alex is actually working late and.." " Really?" " Yeah." " So it's just me and you?" " Yep." "I mean, I was thinking that..." "I really wanted to treat you and just say thank you... for all your hard work and your improvement and.." " But I am okay if you want to.." " No, no." "I will suffer through it." "I appreciate that." "Is this technically a date?" "Well, you could say that." "I mean, we are out in public, and people can see us." "So would it be inappropriate if I were to reach over... and tuck your hair behind your ear like that?" "Would that be something that was acceptable on a night like this?" "I suppose that would be okay." "And what about if I told you... that you look beautiful this evening?" "Would that be.." " I.." " Would that be.." "No." "I would be.." "I'd be okay with that tonight." "Okay." "And I might even... go so far as to tell you that... when you want to, you can be quite handsome... and extremely charming." " Well, I want to." " Okay." "Something to drink!" " Nice." "Hey, hey!" " Hey!" " Another round?" " Another round." "Oh, my goodness." "We are out of control." "This shit is good." " It's delicious." " I told you." "I gotta pee." " You go pee." "You'll be all right." " Okay, I'll be back." "We'll save your place." "We'll save your spot." " Hey, you want one?" " No, I'm good, man." "I don't drink." " You sure?" " Yeah, yeah." "Thanks though." "Hey, is that your TT outside?" "It is." " Man, I gotta check that thing out, dude." " Let's go." " Let's go." "Open her up." "Let's go." "Are you serious?" "You ever get tired of the imaginary stuff?" "You want a real..." " house and kids and... husband?" " I'll have that someday." " Yeah?" " Sure." " When?" " Well, I think when I'm ready." "As a matter of fact, I actually think that I am a lot like you." "How's that?" "I think there's a life I was living that I didn't want." "And until I can figure out exactly what I want..." "I think this substitute life is, is not so bad." "I get it." "To icon." "To icon." "Icon." "I just like saying it." "Icon." "Icon." "Icon, icon, icon." "Does it have an effect on you in any way?" "That's it." "Open it up." "Here we go." "What'd I tell you." "This thing's awesome!" "Go, go, go." "Make this light." "Make this light." " My baby." " I could get used to this, man." " Absolutely." " Appreciate it." " Yeah, no problem." " That was great." "You're pretty cool, Mick." " Thanks." " Yeah." "So anyone home?" " No, my parents are out of town." " Yeah." "What a night, man." " What the hell, man?" " I'm sorry." "I just thought.." "Get the fuck away from me!" "You son of a fucking bitch!" " Bitch." " Fuck!" " Listen, man." "I didn't.." " Fuck you!" "Shut the fuck up, you faggot!" "I thought you were down for it." "Fucking.." "Maybe we should stay in tonight." "This doesn't make sense." "It just keeps saying that all of our cards are unbalanced." "You did make the payments, didn't you?" "I'm sure it's just a mistake." "I'll straighten it out." "These cards are my foundation, Larry." "I need them for the gala." "I've got stuff to pay for." "How am I supposed to do that?" " The linens, the bartenders, the gazebo." " All right." "I'll take care of it." " Don't worry." "Don't worry." " Don't worry?" "Larry, you did not make the house payment last month." "Why would you tell me that I don't need to worry?" "Seriously, you gotta fix this today." "Do you understand me?" " Mr. Jones?" " Yes." "I'm Detective Gardner, Third Precinct." " I'd like to have a word with you." " Oh." "Well, okay." "It seems like there was a party near here last night... where some alcohol was being served to minors." "Now, some of the kids said that your son Mick brought the alcohol." "Oh, no, no." "That's impossible." "Is everything all right?" "You know a young lady by the name of Naomi Madsen?" "Yeah, she's a friend of our son's." "She left the party drunk and got in a car accident." " Oh, my God." " Oh, shit." "Is she okay?" "She'll be all right." "Could have been worse." "Right now, I'm concerned about where that alcohol came from." "Is your son home?" "no." "He left about half an hour ago." "But I could try him on his cell." " Please." " Thank you, honey." "Is that a cop?" "Yes, it is." " What happened to your face?" " It's nothing." " What's going on out there?" " We're trying to save your ass." "So why don't you just get upstairs and stay out of sight?" "What?" "From father to father..." "I trust you're gonna deal with your son appropriately, right?" " I'm gonna deal with him appropriately." " Okay." "I just got his voice mall." "But he's very good about checking in, so I'm sure we'll hear from him." "Just to let you know, these cases often result... in some sort of civil liability." " You may want to be prepared." " Thank you for the tip." " Yeah." " Sir." " Appreciate that." " Yeah." "Nice meeting you." "Detective." "Thank you." "What are we supposed to do now?" "Has anything like this ever happened before?" "So what's going on?" "Naomi Madsen's in the hospital." " She got drunk and got into an accident." " Is she okay?" "It sounds like she's gonna be okay." " I want all of that punch out of here immediately." " Don't worry." "It's gone." "I can't believe you gave it to minors." " It's my job." "Who do you think drinks that stuff?" " That's not the point." "Weren't you with her at the party?" "You must have seen she couldn't drive." "Why didn't you take her home?" " I didn't know she was that drunk." " Some friend you are." "Shut up, Jenn." "I wasn't even there." " Then where were you?" " I took a ride." "So you were driving drunk as well." " No." "Tim drove." " Who's Tim?" " Tim." " Isn't that Naomi's brother?" "So you both left her?" "Why would you do something like that?" "No, no, no." "I got it." " You were hitting on the wrong guy.." " Fuck you!" "Oh, my God." "I knew it." "Thank you for that." "You know what?" "Screw it." "I shouldn't have to hide this shit anymore." "I'm gay." "At least I'm not a slut." "So, what?" "I'm sorry to spoil the coming-out party here, guys." " I've got someplace to be." " Where are you going?" "No, no, no." "We all need to get on the same page here." "I don't care what page you guys are on." "I'm gonna go see my boyfriend." "And while we're all sharing here... it's Alex Bayner." " Melanie's husband?" " Yeah." " Alex Bayner." " This family's fucked up." " Where did we go wrong?" " We're finished." "It's gonna get around that Jenn's out of control." " We've got the police asking about Mick." " But there's.." "The company doesn't tolerate this kind of thing." " Hey, come on." " And I am responsible for this unit." "No, we will figure this out together." "There is no "we," Steve." "I have to go now and file a report." "Me." " It's natural that a family has problems." " We're not a family." "A unit?" "Knock, knock." "Hey, sexy." "You hiding from me down there?" "I'm waiting." "Looking for someone?" "What are you doing here?" "It is my boat." "He doesn't love you." "Well, aren't you something?" "You poor girl." "You actually think you're special." "He's met dozens of girls like you." "You're a plaything." "He's had his fun, and now it's over." "Please." "Stay away from my husband." "He doesn't want anything to do with you." "You wish." "I couldn't do it." " Hey." " Hey, baby." "Look, you can't ever call me again." "What?" "This is Alex." "Please leave your name and number even if you think I know it." "This is Alex." "Please leave your name and number even if you think I know it." "I got it." "Ouch." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Hello?" "All right." "Let's get you home." "Come on." "Hi, Steve." "KC." "That's a surprise." "Kate didn't mention you coming by today." " I'm here to see you." " Really?" "Okay." " I've got good news." " Yeah?" "Your numbers have gone through the roof." "We're aware of some of the issues in this cell... and we think you could do better in a different cell- an icon cell." "Well, look, I appreciate the offer... but I think this family can make icon status together." "They're holding you back." "You need a better team around you." "I know you like her." "It's her job to make you like her." "She's a businesswoman, and she's ambitious." "Don't think for a minute... she wouldn't leap at this opportunity and leave you." "What do you think happened to the last husband... when she got offered this job?" "I appreciate it." "I do." "But I think I've got a good team around me... and I'd like to try to make it work with them." "So where are you gonna go for vacation?" "Really." "I haven't decided yet." "You?" "Kenya." "No." "I'm gonna go to Arizona, visit my old man." " That's nice." " Yeah." "I'd like you to come with me." "What do you say?" "I say let me think about it." " You know what's really crazy?" " What?" "I don't even know your real last name." "Well, a girl's gotta have her secrets, doesn't she?" "Can I buy a vowel?" "Hi." "Hi, everyone." " Thank you so much for coming." " Hi." "Ripple effect." "Ripple." "Thank you." "Hello." "Hi." "Well, come on in here." " Ripple." "Ripple." " Look at that." "Thank you for coming to my Robustion gala." "Really." "Come in and sit down." "Relax, 'cause I just want you all.." "To enjoy the show." "Now, is this you?" "Robustion Industries is proud to present their new product" "Robustion Trois." "I'd love to really give this my full attention... but I'm gonna go see Larry and tell him I'm gay." " ...contains all the "must haves".." " Larry." " What up, yo?" " Steve." "Steve." "Have a drink with me." "Bottoms up." "Go ahead." "No, thank you." "...for all skin types that are concerned about the signs of aging." " What?" " She's furious at me." "This moisturising formula is proven.." "She is beautiful, though, isn't she?" "Yeah." "I just.." "I just wanted her to be happy." "Well, she is happy." "Just look at her." "You two have a great life." "You don't know about my life." "You have everything." "...proven to retard the signs of photo-aging." "Wait till she finds out they're gonna take the house." "I have samples for everyone." "Don't be shy." "What?" "That's right." "Can you say "foreclosure"?" "Yeah, but, Larry, you're doing so well." "You're buying all this stuff." "Yeah." "It's bigger than yours, isn't it?" "Is that why you can't pay your bills?" "Are you jealous?" "Is there any way that you can return some of this stuff to pay down your mortgage?" "That's it." "You're jealous of me." "Huh?" "You can't handle not being the center of attention for one night." "Is that it?" "Now what I'd like you all to do.." "Look, you don't understand." "All my stuff." "I don't pay for it." " I don't pay for that stuff." " Me neither." "Not for six months, right?" " "Zero payments for six months."" " No, that's not it." " Zero payments.." " That's not what I mean." "You don't get it." "Guys." "She's doing her thing." "You're supposed to be paying attention." "You guys are so loud." " Why don't you come over and.." " You know what?" "Just a minute, sweetie." " One minute." "Okay." " One.." "Okay." " What?" " Oh, I get it." "It's her money?" "Your secret is safe with me, buddy." "Nice work." "I want you to socialize and have a wonderful time... and just have wonderful memories of Robustion." "Okay." " It's terrible." "You know, he's a great guy." " I know." "I feel bad." "I actually think that..." "Summer did well tonight." "And I broke down." "I even bought some of her stuff." "That's nice of you." "Thank you." "This needs something." "Hold that." "Treats." "Let me put some in for you." "Oh, no, no." "No, that's not right." " That's just." "That's just all wrong." " It's so good." "Wait." "Just the perfect bite." "What about Arizona?" " What about it?" " You gonna come?" "Wouldn't it be a little weird?" "I mean, how are you gonna introduce me?" "Like.." ""This is my pretend wife that I".." ""My coworker." "My".." "As my boss." "The job comes with great benefits." "That mean you'll come?" "I'll come." "What the.." "Larry?" "Larry." "Larry?" "Larry!" "Larry!" "Larry!" "Help!" "Help!" "Summer!" "Call 911" "Call 911!" "Hey." "You did everything you could." "No, I didn't." "I lied to him." "Here's your coat." "I lied to him." "I lied to all of you." " Steve." " I'm not Steve Jones." " Steve." " That is not my name." "Holy shit." "What?" " This is not my wife." " Don't." "Don't do this." " These are not my kids." " Steve, please." " That is not my house." " Settle down, Steve." "No, listen to me, goddamn it." "You all have to listen." "I get paid to show off the cars and the clothes." "I get paid lots of money to lie and pretend that I'm your friend." "We have to leave." "So that people like all of you.." "People like Larry.." "Will go out and want to buy the stuff that I have." "Me and my perfect family." "I'm sorry." "Come on." "Let's go." "Not so fast, sir." "I need to get some information from you." "That was crazy of him." "It's gonna be okay." "I promise." "I'll take care of you." " Is this accurate?" " Yes, It's accurate." "We might need to ask you a few more questions later on." "I think that's all." "Thank you, Mr. Cerrilla." "It's time to go, Steve." "Where'd you take them?" "They've been reassigned." "She took the deal, like I told you she would." "If you want a fresh start, my offer's still on the table." " Hello!" " Hi!" " Hey, Mary Beth." " Come in." " This is great." " This is great to do this." " Thank you so much." " Come on in." "Here, let me grab your coats." " Ken, how about a beer?" " Sure, sure." "Imported okay?" " Welcome to the house." " It's beautiful." "Thank you." "Honey, by the way, super job tonight." " Thank you." " Dinner was excellent." "Is everyone ready for coffee... and perhaps some, dessert?" " Sounds great." " Okay." "Help yourself to some more wine." "Kate." "Is everything okay in there, sweetheart?" "What are you doing here?" "Well, I wanted to see you." "Sorry." "Kate?" "You all right?" "I've got, guests here." "We belong together." "You should have thought of that before you opened your mouth." "That's why I opened my mouth." "Well, who's this?" "It's a friend." "Well, hey, I'm Bob, Bob Jones." "Drop the act, Bob." "I'm her last husband." " What?" "What's going on?" " Nothing." " Am I getting fired?" " You don't have to do this anymore." " But my numbers are good." " I think you should leave." "Right now?" "No." " Bob." " Yes?" "Just calm down and go back to our guests." " Go on, Bob." " Go!" "Everything's fine." " You certain?" " Yeah." "Wine." "Oh, sure." "I'm sorry." "You were saying?" "I want you to come join me in the real world." "This is my real world." "What are you gonna do when you're too old to be a mother to these teenagers?" "Are they gonna find a grandparent cell for you?" "What kind of life is that?" "What kind of joy are you gonna have?" "Whose photos are you gonna hang on your wall?" "Who's gonna be there at the end for you?" "We had something, Kate." "It was just a beginning, but it.." "It was real." "I felt that." "I'm hoping you felt it too." "I think you did." "You deserve to be happy, Kate." "You deserve to be loved." "I'm sorry." "Hey, Steve." " Hold up." " Hey, Mick." "Hey." "How are things?" "Things are good." "Yeah." "I get to be a college student now." "Yeah." "And I'm out, which.." "Well, it makes life a lot easier." " That's great." " Yeah." "I don't have to lie anymore." "I'm happy for you." "Thanks, Steve." "It's been real." "Hey, they've been looking for that." "I'm gonna miss that car." "He came back for you." " Where to?" " Arizona." " Seriously?" " Is that all right?" "You're the boss."