"Uncle P got the kids in his hand" "Uncle P got the kids in his hand" "He got all the kids in his hand" "I got Lindsey and Corey in my hand" "I got my sister and Tammy in my hand" "Whoever thought that I'd be a family man" "I got all the kids in my hand" "Be all you could be" "Be the greatest like Muhammad Ali" "Make them love you when they haters see" "It's a trip when you follow your dreams" "You like doughnuts and milk" "You could buy Krispy Kreme" "You could be educated and still be a thug" "You could say no to drugs and still have fun in the club" "You could be a movie star and turn into the governor" "Or rap like Romeo" "And still listen to your mother, man" "Ain't nothing wrong with making it out of the 'hood" "But never forget where you came from, shorty" "It's all good" "I'd like to thank my family for believing' in me" "Just follow your dreams and be all you can be" "I got my P. Miller zone, and I'm ready to rock" "They call me Uncle P 'cause I'm back on the block" "I'm a no-limit soldier like Chucky Atkins" "Just to make 'em say, "Uh!"" "That ain't only braggin'" "Uncle P got the kids in his hand" "Uncle P got the kids in his hand" "Uncle P got the kids in his hand" "He got all the kids in his hand" "I got Lindsey and Corey in my hand" "I got my sister and Tammy in my hand" "Whoever thought that I'd be a family man?" "I got all the kids in my hand" "The itsy-bitsy spider went up the waterspout" "Down came the rain and washed the spider" "Ew!" "The pee baby strikes again." "Oh, Lindsey, when are you gonna learn... to let somebody know when you have to go potty?" "But it snuck up on me this time." "Let's get you all cleaned up." "Lindsey always pee in her pants." " Sorry." " What's up, DJ?" "Who's that?" "Who you guys talking about?" " That girl." " What girl?" "Why you running, punk?" "Maybe, uh, 'cause I like breathing!" "You won't be breathing in a few minutes, you punk." "Hold up!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Stop the bus!" "Almost got your little Whooped again, huh?" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Don't act like I'm the only one." "Hey, you better take your seat before I let you out... and make you chase the bus another six blocks." "You can't do that." "Try me." "Man, I just love kids." "Little." "How you doing, Mrs. Biggs?" "Good afternoon, Mr. Biggs." "Hey, Tammy." "Lovely day, isn't it, huh?" "Yeah." "Where is that beast?" "Don't worry." "He's inside." "They need to destroy that animal." "They need to burn 'em all!" "And make sure you kids... have on your running shoes in the morning." "Hey, you little chocolate Mini-me." "What, did your mama let you ditch school again today?" "Eat me, you RTD reject." "Well, I would... but my doctor told me to cut back on the fats." "I can't believe they let him drive kids home." "How was your day?" "The same as yesterday." "That bad, huh?" "Mine, too." "Hey, kid, why don't you ask your mama... can you come over here to play with me today?" "For the millionth time, child, I'm a grown man... and that's not my mama!" "I'm only five years old." "How should I remember all of that stuff?" "Duke!" "Hey, Duke." "Hey!" "Aw!" "How am I supposed to make new friends in high school... if I have to come home and watch you babies every day?" "Wait, wait, wait." "What did you say?" "First of all, I ain't no baby... and I don't need nobody to watch me." "I've been the man of the house since the past five years." "I can do anything." "Bull." "Oh, I'm telling Mama." "Girl, where did you hear that word?" "Mama." "Do we have any more scrawberry milk?" "The word is "strawberry. "" "Look in the fridge." "Oh, man!" "All the scrawberry milk is gone." "Oh, no." "Mama!" "Hey, pee-wee." "Give me some sugar." " Hey, Mama." " Hey, sweetie." "Did you wet yourself today?" "No comment." "Little girl... you're gonna be wearing diapers till you're twenty-one." "Hi, Mama." "Hey, baby." "So how was your day?" "Not good." "What happened, Mama?" "Got fired." "Now, what you want for dinner?" "Ooh, I'm starvin'." "Damn." "I forgot to go to the grocery store." "How about McDonald's?" "Yay!" "All right, let's go." "Come on." " Mama?" " Hmm?" "So what are we gonna do now?" "I'm about to be fourteen." "I can get a job at the hot dog place at the mall." "Oh, yeah." "I'm can get a paper route or something." "What do you want from me?" "I'm only five years old." "My kids are so sweet." "But nobody's gettin' another job around here but me." "Times are tight right now... but we all been through worse, right?" "Like when Daddy left us?" "OK, so that's enough about my bad news tonight." "How's school these days, huh?" "High school is great." "I'm making new friends every day." "Yeah, I love the sixth grade." "Today, I had to fight off all the honeys... that wanted to be down with me." "Mr. Cool, huh?" "What about you, pee-wee?" "I didn't wet myself one bit." "No lie." "I swear." "Nobody called me "pee baby. "" "Oh, well." "Somebody's got a birthday comin' up in a few days." "Did you get the Mario concert tickets?" "Oh, baby, I am so sorry." "Oh, I've been working so much, I just lost track of the date." "I'll buy the tickets tomorrow, I promise." "Don't sweat it, Ma." "They're all sold out." "No Mario for big sis." "Tammy, I am so sorry, and I know I promised." "It's OK, Mama." "I know it ain't easy being a single mom... especially while Corey is going through puberty." "Shut up, chicken neck." "Mommy, why don't you just find a good man... that can help take care of us?" "It's not that simple, darlin'." "No ordinary man can just handle our situation." "Yeah, not even own father." "OK, people, it is go time." "You, I need you right here in the front." "Please, hurry." "Chop, chop." "What is this?" "Where's your attitude?" "Where's your attitude?" "I need you to be a tiger." "I need you to attack the stage." "You are my maniac." "You are my maniac on the floor." "All right, the P. Miller line." "Go tell our CEO that it is ready." "Chop chop, errand boy!" "We do not have all day!" "P, it's the president." "The president of Federated, man." "They want to know a release date on the new Shorties kids' line." "Tell him on my birthday 'cause making money... is the gift that just keep on giving." "Yeah, April 5th." "Uh-huh." "Did you hear a word I just said?" "You said somethin' about takin' a break and settling' down." "I'm just saying for you to take a small break." "So we can get married, have few little Ps." "Who gonna run my business like me?" "Besides, I don't even know if I'm ready for kids." "So you're saying you don't wanna get married?" "I'm just saying... can't we talk about this somewhere in private... like the Bahamas for the weekend?" "The Bahamas for the weekend?" "I thought that would get your attention." "You promise?" "I promise, baby." "No more fashion shoots... no more business meetings, no cell phones." "Just me and you, baby." "Oh, P, I love you." "I know you do." "Excuse me, Mr. Miller, sir?" "The models are ready to see you, but I got to tell you... you are not ready for all that gumbo down there." "I'll be with you in a second." "Well, I gotta get home and pack." "Besides, the models are ready for you." "Call me later, baby." "And I'm ready for you." "Yo, get me two first-class tickets to the Bahamas." "I'm about to be fourteen." "I could get a job at the hot dog place at the mall." "So what are we gonna do now?" "Mommy, why don't you just find a good man... that can help take care of us?" "So what are we gonna do now?" "I can get a job at the hot dog place at the mall." "I got fired." "What's wrong with Mama?" "I don't know." "Is she gonna die?" "Don't say that, pee-wee." "She's gonna be OK." "Right, Corey?" "Of course." "She's all we got in this world." "What if they split us up if she dies?" "No one is splitting anyone up 'cause Mommy's not gonna die." "You are much too ugly for me to have gone to heaven." "Glad to see that you're still with us, Ms. Miller, hmm?" "Oh, it seems that your ticker is under a lot of stress." "Did I have a heart attack?" "No, no, not quite." "Not quite." "Sometimes, stress can trick the body... into thinking that it's sick, which can be deadly." "In your case, it affected your heart rate... causing you to pass out." "Oh." "Scared your kids." "My babies." "Oh, God." "Where my babies at?" "Calm down, huh?" "They're safe." "They're in the hospital lounge." "Hey, kid, throw me the ball." "I'm not a kid!" "I'm a brain surgeon!" "You got that?" "I graduated from Harvard and Yale!" "Do a kid have a mustache?" "No." "Do a kid have a beard?" "No." "Do a kid have a driver's license?" "No!" "But I do!" "Mama mia, I don't believe she called me a kid." "Take the ball." "What did I say?" "They did real good." "They called nine-one-one... rode with you and the paramedics all the way to the hospital." "Oh." "Oh, thank you, Doctor." "So am I gonna be able to go home tonight?" "You..." "You are going to spend... a little vacation here with us, all right?" "While we, uh, run some tests." "I gotta stay here?" "Who's gonna look out for my babies?" "I can't..." "Don't you have some relatives that you can call... or someone that can help you with this?" "Not around here." "See, we just kind of moved here... about a year ago from Louisiana... but the transition hasn't been exactly easy for us." "Here you go." "Uh, your brother." "How about your brother?" "Now, you want us to call him?" "I haven't spoken to him in years." "I don't even know if he has the same phone number." "He's not exactly the type to be listed." "This is another hot look." "The camouflage is a good look right now." "She can blend in with the leaves if she needs to... if she's hiding from somebody maybe." "And right here, we wanna accentuate it." "We wanna bring out the..." "the "umph!"" "The bosom of the woman with a little red." "Oh, come on out here." "This is a patchwork." "If this is me, I'm going crazy on this one... because it's like, "Am I light blue?" ""Am I dark blue?" "What am I?" ""You're never gonna know 'cause I'm everything. "" "That's right." "Go ahead." "You're good." "Now, this right here, listen... any girl can wear this and look good." "Even if she's ugly, she'll still look good in this." "Hello?" "I guarantee, it's for anyone." "My sister what?" "All right, I'm on my way." "Excuse me." "Where's the front desk?" " It's right up there." " All right." "I'm here to see Bertha Miller." "She's in room 415." "And you are?" "Percy, her brother." "L..." "I know you're Percy, but..." "Is she OK?" "You'll have to ask her physician, Dr. Niles... after you sign this." "What is this?" "Some new sign-in sheet or something?" "Just an autograph for my daughter, Holly." "Four-fifteen, it's that way." "Thank you." "Girl, guess who just ran up in the E. R?" "Well, well, well... you finally get to see me at my worst." "I'm glad to see you, sis." "Boy, close your mouth before I go blind... or have more heart problems." "So, what was it, a heart attack or what?" "Yeah, the doctor said it was too much stress, I guess." "My body just couldn't take anymore." "I'm surprised you got here so fast." "It's been how long since we spoke to each other?" "It's been six years, but we family." "Whenever you need me, I'm gonna be here." "I don't need anything from you... but my kids do need adult supervision... while the doctors keep me in here for a few days." "I don't know nothin' about taking care of no kids." "You ain't got no nanny or nothin' like that, sis?" " A nanny?" " Yeah." "You the rich one in the family." "But you'd have been straight... if you'd accepted some of the gifts I sent you... but you wanna play Wonder Woman, Miss Independent." "Number one, I don't want your money." "Number two, you're the only person... that I trust right now with my kids." "So do we have to argue about this... like we argue 'bout everything else?" "I ain't the one that hooked up with the bum." "You was." "You know, here we go." "You know, this is not about me and my mistakes." "It's about my kids, your nieces and nephew." "So are you gonna help me out or what?" "I guess I'll be spending a few days... with my nieces and nephew, huh, big sis?" "You know, I knew I could count on you." "We're family, baby, and I love you." "That's good." "So, I got it all written down for you." "Here we go, OK." "All three of them have to be up by 7 A. M... for school in the morning." "You have to make them a hot breakfast." "Homework has to be done by 7 P.M." "Oh, and it's very, very important... that you give absolutely nothing to Lindsey to drink... before she goes to sleep." "That girl is a water bomb waiting to explode." "Now, if you have any more questions... you can call me at this number right here at the hospital." "I got your back, sis." ""Algebra"?" "How am I gonna teach 'em algebra?" "Hmm." "My nieces and nephew, they got big." "Come on, y'all." "It's time to go home with your Uncle P." "Come on, Corey." "All right, shorty, let's go." "Come on, Tammy." "Come on, baby." "Let's go." "Are you in my dream?" "Come on, baby." "We're going home." "Wait a minute." "P. Miller?" "Hey, P!" "Hey, how about some clothes, man?" "Hook a brother up, man!" "You gonna act like you don't know a brother, huh?" "That's all right." "When you get sick, you gonna have to come here... and I'm gonna cut you down to size." "I tell you that." "Come on, P." "Man, I don't know the first thing about taking care of kids." "I think I'm in over my head." "Man, P, I'm telling you." "You'll be..." "You'll be fine." "Nah, you were right, man." "I think I got my hands full this time." "You know, kids, they're cool, man." "Uh, uh... they like cartoons." "That's it!" "Yeah, cartoons!" "You know what I mean?" "Like, like, tell them a joke." "Uh, you know, if two rappers don't like each other... and they're both vegetarians, can they still have beef?" "Hold on." "Crazy mutt just walked in the kitchen." "Ha!" "What up, niece?" "You hungry?" "I didn't know what you guys like to eat... so I had my chef just cook up a little bit of everything." "Sit down." "You were in my dream last night." "You wasn't dreamin'." "It's your Uncle P." "Now eat before your food get cold." "How can I eat when I'm just discovering... my uncle's one of the most famous entertainers... in the world?" "I prefer "businessman. "" "P. Miller?" "What's up, nephew?" "For real?" "No way." "For real?" "It's me, nephew." "Just ask me anything." "Who's that, and what are they doing in our kitchen?" "Don't you recognize him, pee-wee?" "That's P. Miller and his personal chef." "He's our uncle." "Who cares?" "I want my mama before I end up having a bad hair day." "Just call me Uncle P, shorty." "And, uh..." "You know anything about braiding' hair?" "Mm-hmm." "So, if you're really my uncle... why didn't nobody ever give me the four-one-one?" "Yeah, I was just about to get to that." "I mean, what happened between you and mama... that was so bad, you didn't speak to us... or come around us for almost seven years?" "It wasn't my fault." "I tried calling, sending gifts." "Gifts?" "Yeah." "She just kept sending them back and turning them down." "So, what happened?" "Don't you guys have something else to do... like go to school?" "We're already late." "These two just missed their bus." "Why didn't you say something?" "Who cares?" "It's only school." "Yeah." "All we do is sing till lunchtime anyway." "You guys, hurry up." "I'm gonna take you guys to school." " Whoa!" " Whoa!" "Girl, every time you walk by" "Whoa!" "You guys act like you've never seen a limo before." "We haven't." "First-timers?" "Yeah, that's how we doing it." "Let's go, y'all." "It's you, it's you, it's you that I adore" "'Cause you are the only shorty I would give my life for" "Ain't nothin's gonna change" "I'll love you totally, truly, till the end of my days" "The end of my days" "'Cause you're a fly girl" "I wish you were my girl" "You really caught my eye, girl" "Haven't you guys rode in a limo before?" "Geez." "'Cause you're a fly girl" "I wish you were my girl" "You really caught my eye, girl" "Which one of ya'll wanna go next?" "Me!" "Me!" "Me!" "Me." "It's age order, so I guess I'll be going next." "Beauty over age." "Well, I'll be going next." "Man, nobody even got to see me floss." "Can you pick me up first after school, Uncle P?" "I think you're gonna take the school bus home." "I don't wanna draw too much attention to myself while I'm in town." "Ain't that right, li'I?" "Peace." "This sucks, man." "Can I take you to show and tell, Uncle P, next week?" "We'll see after school, all right, shorty?" "OK." "All right." "I am sorry about your sister... but when are you gonna stop avoiding the question... and start a family with me?" "I'm not avoiding the question." "Besides, don't you think I need a little practice... before I jump in the game?" "No, I want you to stop playing games and settle down with me." "Stop that barking." "Excuse me?" "I'm not talking to you, babe." "You won't ever have to worry... about me starting anything ever again." "What..." "Thanks a lot, mutt." "What's wrong with you?" "You wanna go for a walk?" "Oh, man!" "Oh, man, I thought you was potty trained." "Bathroom is in the back, not the carpet." "Damn, mutt." "I heard of watering' the lawn... you're like a built-in sprinkler system." "It's about time." "Come on." "Let's go." "That is really..." "You guys gotta learn to get along easily." "I don't know what to do." "Girls, girls, check it out." "That's P!" "That's Percy Miller, ain't it?" "Come on." "Shh shh shh!" "On this block?" "Girl, you need to quit sniffing that hairspray you use." "Yeah." "And if that's Percy, girl, I'm Lil' Kim." "Yeah, and I'm Foxy Brown." "Ah ha ha ha!" "Ah ha ha ha!" "Yeah, whatever." "East Coast, West Coast, worldwide!" "When I came into the kitchen this morning..." "P. Miller was there with the country's finest chefs... cooking for me and my sisters... and they packed me this gourmet lunch." "Are you trying to tell us that P. Miller is your uncle?" "And that he's staying with you... while your mom's in the hospital?" "Yeah, maybe even longer." "Yeah, then you woke up." "You've been sleepwalking again, haven't you?" "Ha ha ha!" "And if you got dropped off in a limo... how come nobody saw you?" "I told you." "We were running late." "My sister got to floss in front of her school first." "If P. Miller is your uncle, then how come you're not rich?" "Everybody knows he's got like a zillion dollars." "To make a long story short, he and my mom fell out... and weren't speaking for a while." "He tried to break us off some cheese... but she just kept sending it back." "She's kind of proud that way." "You don't even have any P. Miller gear." "If he is your uncle, you should be laced from head to toe." "Even Kevin has P. Miller gear on." "What's up, butt crust?" "Got some lunch money left over?" "Or how about you just give us your lunch?" "Mmm, give my compliments to your mama for the lunch." "My mama didn't make it." "My Uncle P's chef did, as in P. Miller." "Ha ha ha!" "Yeah, and my mom's Halle Berry." "Let's dunk this clown." "No, you can't do this!" "No!" "No!" "Oh, my God!" "Make 'em say, "Uh!"" "Baby, I can tell you got an appetite" "Hey, wait up." "Me?" "Yeah, you're Tammy, right?" "Yeah." "I didn't even know you knew my name." "Well, I didn't till I saw you this morning." "Are you new?" "Kind of." "We just moved here... and I started going to this school a few months ago." "You're DJ, right?" "Yeah." "How did you know that?" "Everybody knows who you are." "Are you rich or something?" "I saw you step out of a limo this morning." "Let's just say we got some new money in the family... and that's kind of why I was running late... and had to take our limo to school." "Did your family get lucky and win the Lotto... or something like that?" "Uh, something like that." "You know, you're kind of cute." "Kind of?" "Yeah." "I didn't wanna make it sound like I was overdoing it." "I'm sure your rich guys try to come at you all the time." "Well, not as many as you think." "So, can I call you tonight?" "Yeah." "Gonna heal ya, gonna pour it on" "Can you take my kisses all night long" "Intermixed with a love that's strong?" "All right, girl, Talk to you later." "Bye." "I can tell you got an appetite" "Not again!" "Hey!" "Run, Forrest, run!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Wait!" "Come back here, Corey!" "You're dead meat, Corey!" "There's a check here with your name on it!" "The name of God, the blessing from God... praise be to God." "We thank you for blessing our life." "Amen." "Amen." "Do I got the hook-up on the chef or what?" "Thumbs up." "All right." "Man, I wish the kids at school could see me now." "We're eating like royalty." "The perfect meal to end the perfect day." "Life is so wonderful." "Hold..." "What?" "What's wrong with you, Tammy?" "Tammy's in love." "Who's the lucky guy?" "His name is DJ, and he's beautiful." "Beautiful?" "I think I'm gonna throw up." "Leave your sister alone." "Cupid will strike you in a couple of years, too." "Shorty, I hope you don't have a boyfriend." "The only boy that I'll ever like is you, Uncle P." "Great answer." "Uncle P?" "Yeah?" "I was wondering, after dinner... if you can help me with my algebra homework?" "For sure." "You know anything about algebra?" "No, I don't." "Oh, my goodness." "Me, too, except for our maid draws my bathwater." "Wow." "We have a lot in common, DJ." "Ahem." "It's time to hang up the phone, li'I." "You got school in the mornin'." "Who said?" "Your Uncle P said." "Now, don't make me get gangsta on you, you heard me?" "I gotta go, DJ." "See you tomorrow at lunch?" "Bye." "Satisfied?" "Yeah, I'm satisfied." "I guess that was the boy, huh?" "And you call him your friend." "Yeah, his name is DJ." "He's the most-popular boy at school." "He talked to me... after he saw me get out of your limo today." "Yeah." "Twenty-fours on chrome... definitely get somebody's attention." "Thanks, Uncle P." "I'm glad I could be of help." "Good night." "What's up, little soldier?" "Seem like you got the weight of the world on your back, huh?" "Nothin' I really feel like talkin' about." "You don't even wanna talk to your Uncle P?" "That's what I'm here for." "Well..." "Hold that thought, nephew." "Uh, seem like your sister got an admirer... that don't know the house rules." "What's up, shorty?" "Shorty?" "And who taught you to answer the phone like that, young lady?" "Hi, Mama." "Mama!" "Uncle P talks like that all the time." "Your Uncle P, huh?" "Well, I hope Uncle P is taking good care of you... while Mommy's in the hospital." "He is." "Hey, Mama, we miss you." "Hey, Mama, how you feelin'?" "Well, actually if I wasn't in a hospital..." "I'd feel like I was on a cheap vacation." "How are you babies doin'?" "Oh, Mama, everything is goin' great." "First, we woke up to a chef cooking' in the kitchen." "Yeah, and then Uncle P dropped us off to school... in a super stretch limo." "Chef?" "Limo ride?" "Put your Uncle P on the phone." "Hey, wassup, sis?" "I tried to send you some catering treats... but the doctor wouldn't let you have it." "Yeah, let's cut the small talk, OK?" "How are my babies doin'?" "Are they behaving'?" "Oh, everything's cool, sis." "They're fine." "No problem." "I guess so, when you're spoiling' 'em rotten." "Spoilin' them?" "Listen, just because you're a multimillionaire... doesn't mean you have to flaunt it around my kids." "I've worked very hard to keep them grounded... in the real world." "I don't want all that washed away in a few days." "No more chefs and no more limos." "Tammy walks to school." "Corey and Lindsey catch the bus." "Just be their Uncle P until I get home, OK?" "OK, sis." "I hear you loud and clear." "Oh, and Tammy's got a birthday comin' up in a couple of days." "Could you get her somethin' from me?" "I'll pay you back." "Nothin' too crazy expensive, though, OK?" "You got that, sis." "All right." "Thanks, li'I bro." "Bye, mama!" "We love you!" "Mommy loves you." "We love you, too!" "I love you too, sis." "Get well, baby." "All right." "Thank you." "You heard what your mama said... no more limo rides, no more chefs." "Nobody at school even seen me get out the limo." "They don't really believe you're my uncle." "Who cares, Corey?" "You know the truth." "Man, this sucks." "What's the point of having a superstar in the family... if nobody at school believes it?" "Can you read me a bedtime story?" "Uncle P don't know any bedtime stories, shorty." "I have my favorite ready to go." "Not tonight, shorty." "I got a headache." "All right." ""Blue's Clues," huh?" "There once was this dog named Blue's Clues... and after he ate the dog biscuits... then he stopped barking." "Uncle P went to sleep... shorty went to sleep... and Blue's Clues fell asleep." "Sort of just like you, shorty." "The end." "Uncle P?" "Now what, shorty?" "Can I have some scrawberry milk?" "Some what?" "Scrawberry milk." "Did I stutter?" "My throat is dry." "Let me see." "After I give you the scrawberry milk... then would you go to sleep?" "I'll be out like a lamp." "All right." "All right, shorty, sit up." "Here goes your scrawberry milk." "That hit the spot." "All right, shorty." "Uncle P?" "What now, shorty?" "Can't I have a kiss good night?" "Aw." "Right, good night." "Get some sleep." "Uncle P, are you sleeping?" "Not anymore, shorty." "What's the matter?" "I peed in the bed." "It's not your fault, shorty." "I know." "It's your fault for giving me... all that scrawberry milk after 9:00." "Damn, shorty." "Look like a flood." "Not again!" "All right, shorty, I was only teasing." "Hey, we're trying to sleep!" "Damn." "I'd give a million dollars to be back in the office." "I'll take care of it." "I'll get him off the train." "Is he asleep?" "I can't tell." "Uncle P, whatever you're cooking, I think it's done." "There goes your breakfast." "You're not much of a cook, are you?" "Nah, man, that's how we used to do in the 'hood." "Little brown on the eggs." "There ain't nothin' wrong with that." " You know, I mean..." " That's OK." "I'll just have some juice." "Forget about that." "I need some brain food before kindergarten class." " All right, cool." " All right." "Don't know about brain food, but here." "Whoa!" "Get y'all something to eat on the way to school." " Wow!" " We're rich!" "Don't mention it to your mom, all right?" "It's the smallest bill I had." "This almost makes up for no more limo rides." "Let's go, y'all." "Make 'em say, "Uh!"" "Uh!" "Na-na na-na" "Come on, don't be scared." "OK, all right." "It's open!" "It's open." "Come on." "Help me." "Ow!" "Get off my toe!" "You're right on my sore bunion!" "My bad." "I told you I should go first." "Oh, this is gonna ruin my outift." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "Oh, my God." "Ow!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "We're in." "Na-na na-na, Life is sweet" "You could tell by the Benz and the Beamers and the Jeeps" "Did you hear that?" "Big wheels, big grills, make 'em say, "Ooh-whee!"" "That's Percy!" "I told you!" "I told you!" "Shh!" "Oh, life is sweet" "You could tell by the Benz and the Beamers and the Jeeps" "Big wheels, big grills, make 'em say, "Ooh-whee!"" "Nice doggy." "Remember me?" "I live across the street." "Girl, I saw this on "When Animals Attack. "" "Now what?" "Now what, Miss Pam?" "Hello?" "Run!" "Hurry!" "Help me!" "Who out there?" "Oh, it's just you." "Drive-by!" "Hey, homes, you OK?" "Yeah, man." "I was just looking for some four-leaf clovers... trying to get lucky, you heard?" "Oh, man." "You know who you are?" "You're P. Miller, that famous entertainer, man." "I prefer "clothing designer. "" "Look at you!" "Hey, look!" "Oh, hey, I'm your biggest fan, man, huh, man?" "I saw your crib on TV and all your tight wheels, man." "All that." "Oh, that's bad." "Hey, check out my ride, huh?" "Fine, huh?" "It's tight." "Oh, hey, brother, you need anything, you call me." "I got my own shop, man." "You want anything customized, any rims, or hydraulics... or interiors, anything, man." "Ask for Juan." "That's me." "You live around here, homeboy?" "Oh, yeah, yeah, I live right down the block, man." "We're jumping suburban borders, too, homes." "All right." "Well, you need anything... you just give me a call, OK?" "Ask for Juan, that's me." "Oh, man!" "Wait till I tell Paco and Juanita... that P. Miller live in our neighborhood." "Be cool, homeboy." "All right." "You the bomb, man, uh!" "There go the neighborhood." "C'mon, mutt, let's go." "You better put a pork chop on that thing... before it swells shut." "Or maybe little man can get you a mini-steak you rub on it." "One of these days, I'm gonna kick him in his..." "Damn!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "What happened, nephew?" "I tripped and fell down the stairs, OK?" "I got a lot of homework to do, so don't bother me." "Looked like more he fell down the stairs... and landed on somebody's fist." "Well, these bullies at school have been bothering him." "Hey, shorty, how was school today?" "Great." "I didn't have one accident." "All right." "That's what I'm talkin' about." "It's probably 'cause you let everything go last night." "Hey, do you guys have homework to do?" "Homework?" "I'm only five years old." "Well, since you're only five years old... maybe me and you go on a date to the grocery store." "Yay!" "Grocery shopping!" "Grocery shopping's her favorite pastime... besides watching "Blue's Clues. "" "You like grocery shopping?" "All right, we're gonna buy a lot of stuff today." "Hey, where's the limo?" "There's no limo today." "I got a rental car." "I bet it's something super-classy, huh?" "It's tight." "I don't see anything but an Impala." "That's all they had." "My Uncle P rolling in a bucket?" "I don't believe it." "Ha ha ha!" "That ain't funny." "C'mon, shorty, let's go to the grocery store." "Least I'm not rolling a yellow school bus." "Honey, grab a cart, OK?" "All right, shorty." "What now, shorty?" "You have to hold my hand like mommy." "Why?" "She says so nobody would try to snatch me up." "All right, shorty, I ain't gonna let nobody get you." "C'mon, baby." "I know I had a candy bar in here." "Who would take a man's candy bar?" "This just don't make no sense." "Excuse me, sir, you dropped something." "No, that ain't mine, brother." "It gotta be yours." "It's not mine." "It was sitting right there." "Black Jesus." "No, this is my Uncle P." "C'mon, shorty, let's go get some groceries." "Buy me some food... and I'm gonna get me some clothes... and I'm gonna find me a job." "I'm gonna find me a..." "Go in there and get my own candy bar, too." "Where the candy section?" "I'm not too good of a driver." "Now, that's a cute woman." "I wonder if she's married." "Watch it, sucker." "Wait!" "I have to get my sister a birthday card for tomorrow." "What you think she really wants, shorty?" "That's easy." "Mario." "Mario?" "Ooh, look!" "Silly bunny!" "I love them!" "You love them more than you love your Uncle P?" "Mmm, let me think about that." "Silly bunny, huh?" "Ooh, hold up, shorty." "You're a reckless driver." "Watch it." "You think you got enough groceries for us?" "Us?" "This is all for me." "I guess I better get another cart... for my brother and sister." "Hold up, shorty!" "Shorty!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "It's you!" "It's really you!" "Aren't you him?" "!" "Yeah, Michael Jackson." "Now, excuse me, I'm goin' to get some toothpaste." "And you're funny, too!" "Oh, I love you." "I'm your biggest fan!" "I can't breathe!" "Security!" "I'm so sorry!" "It's just that you're my favorite entertainer!" "I prefer "businessman. "" "I was gone for thirty seconds... and you already hooked up with another chick." "Oh, how cute!" "Is this your daughter?" "No, I'm his date... so why don't you go find your own?" "And her attitude is so cute." "Are you a little P. Miller model, honey?" "No, but I'm gonna give you a big beat down... if you don't leave us alone." "I ain't afraid to fight a grown woman." "I don't care how fat she is." "Oh, uh-uh!" "I don't care who you are!" "You need to teach your kid some respect!" "Thanks for buying my clothes." "I can't stand the groupies!" "Me, either, shorty." "I guess I'm gonna have to make you head of security." "Let's go." "Oh, my God." "It's you..." "P. Miller." "Not again." "What?" "Take me with you, P." "Get me out of this hellhole." "I got skills, yo." "Come on." "I could..." "I can rap." "I'll be the first yellow Eminem with nuts." "My name is Asian Thunder" "There is none higher" "Suckah M.C., they call me sire" "Make me say, "Uh, uh!"" "Na-na na-na na-na" "Yo, yo, yo, yo." "I didn't come here for that." "I'm not trying to be rude." "Just bag my groceries." "I will bag it, and then I will be... the first Asian runway model." "How about that, P?" "I could be, you know..." "It'd be cool." "P. Miller Asian runway model." "He has some serious problems." "Yeah, he do, shorty." "Wait." "Don't leave." "I can even be muscle, baby." "How much I owe you?" "Four-fifty." "Make way!" "Master P's groceries coming through!" "Hooty-hoo!" "I had a great time with you today." "I had a great time with you, too, today, shorty." "Can you read me a bedtime story?" "Not tonight, shorty." "Please?" "With skwaberries on top?" "I told you, I can't." "But my friend can." "Silly bunny." "I didn't know you knew each other." "Yeah, I know your Uncle P." "See?" "Uncle P knows everybody." "You want me to tell you a story of how I stopped wetting myself?" "Really?" "OK." "I didn't know you used to wet the bed, too." "Yeah, but I learned to stop all by my..." "What's the matter, silly bunny?" "They used to call me pee bunny." "It's OK." "My mother stopped me from wetting the bed." "She told me to pick your feet up... and hop when you have to go to the bathroom." "Whenever you need to use the bathroom... just hop to your feet, OK?" "It was nice talking to you." "And your Uncle P?" "He told me he loves you." "You love your Uncle P, shorty?" "OK, good night." "Good night, Uncle P." "I appreciate you doing this for me, homeboy." "I know you're busy." "Anytime, man." "You know I'm always down, Percy." "You know what I'm saying?" "Or should I call you Uncle P?" "P. Miller to you." "Oh, my God!" "It's him!" "Dang, child, why you still trippin'?" "Uncle P been here for a couple of days now." "No, it's him." "Mario." "Yeah, happy birthday, Tammy." "This is your present from me and your mom." "Mario gonna sing for you, niece." "And these are for you, baby girl." "Tammy, it's your birthday" "And I'm here for you to celebrate" "Gettin' through the date" "Baby" "Wake up, sis." "Mario's breaking it down." "It's her birthday" "Go, shorty, it's her birthday" "Go, shorty, it's her birthday" "Go, shorty, it's her birthday" "I got Mario, it's my birthday" "I love you, Mario!" "Come here!" "I can't believe it's you!" "So when do I get the hook-up?" "Hook-up?" "I'm here for your mom and to look after you kids." "Isn't that the hook-up?" "Never mind." "I'm cool." "Hold up." "Hold up, man." "Come here." "Sit down." "Hey, come back here!" "Oh, my God!" "You are so cute!" "Yo, nephew, let's keep it real, man." "What's up?" "Well..." "It's like ever since you got here... you've been spending time with Tammy and Lindsey... doing cool stuff with them." "We haven't even kicked it at all." "It's like you don't even know me." "I ain't trying to ditch you, nephew." "I just been so busy." "If you just wanna kick it with your Uncle P... all you do is say that." "I'm down." "All right." "How about lunch?" "Get your niece, P!" "P, get your niece!" "I love you!" "I got, uh..." "I got an appointment with some supermodels." "Also, I gotta hook up with some hair designers." "Then I gotta hook up with this shoe company..." "Forget that." "Lunch, me and you." "All right." "Check it out." "Our little homie's all alone." "Let's go get him." "Come on." "Yeah, and I'll baby-sit his lunch tray." "Where's your lunch, punk?" "Try that gooey one on for an appetizer." "Don't you guys have something better to do than bother me?" "What you tryin' to say?" "You don't value our company?" "Hey-oh" "I'm just saying" "I'm already having lunch with a friend today." "Y'all better step back" "Baby, better get back" "Oh, yeah?" "Who'd be brave enough... to cut in on our lunchtime together?" "My Uncle P." "I got your favorite, nephew..." "McDonald's" "Baby, better get back" "Now, if you'll excuse us..." "I'd like to eat lunch with my uncle... before we have to get gangsta." "So this the treacherous three, huh, nephew?" "Don't look so treacherous to me." "You got a problem with my nephew?" "No, sir." "You know who that is?" "It's cool, Percy." "It's Mr. Miller." "Mr. Miller." "We're just suburban underachievers... looking to take out our frustrations on others." "Mr. Miller, please don't get gangster on us." "We were only jousting with our fellow student." "Isn't that right, Corey, old pal?" "Why y'all still standing 'round here like a couple of groupies?" "Can't you see me and my uncle tryin' to eat in peace?" "Be gone." "Get." "What you waiting for, dawg?" "Thanks for coming down, Uncle P." "Anytime, nephew." "Let's eat." "One message." "Message one." "What's up, baby?" "You know who this is." "This is me." "Listen, I just called to say I miss you, girl... and maybe I was wrong about this whole settling down and having a family thing." "You know I love you." "You're the only one for me." "So hit me back." "Let's talk about this, you heard?" "No more new messages." "Press and hold the erase button to erase all messages." "Oh, Percy." "Hello?" "Hi." "May I speak with Percy?" "Who?" "Uh, your Uncle P." "Who is this?" "Lana, his girlfriend." "Uh, he's out on the town with his new girlfriend." "He said that you've been getting on his last nerve... so don't call him no more." "Huh." "We'll just see about this." "Yes, I need a ticket for your next flight." "Is that DJ Calling me?" "No." "A wrong number." "Shh!" "Come on." "The window's open." "I see the mutt." "Give me the meat." "Ew!" "Ew!" "Ew!" "Eww!" "This is for my P. Miller outit you ruined, you beast." "One, two..." "He's eating it." "Before we bring out Darnell, is there anything else you want to disclose?" "No, I just want to say..." "What?" "Oh, no." "This is crazy." "They put anything on daytime TV." "He's down." "Come on." "It's him." "I know that "uh" anywhere." "We've waited our whole lives for this moment." "Come on, just go." "I must really love my sister." "Got me doing house chores." "I ain't been cleanin' up for years." "Man, what do they have on TV?" "This don't make no sense." "Nah, come on." "This is crazy." "That's him, I told you." "I think I'm gonna faint!" "Hold up, hold up." "What this is, a robbery or what?" "I ain't giving up nothin', you heard me?" "Uncle P ain't gettin' robbed in the suburbs." "Y'all better be selling Girl Scout cookies." "Oh, my God, you're our favorite entertainer." "I prefer "businessman. "" "Right, businessman." "And who are y'all, anyway?" "We're the neighbors from across the street." "We're friends of Bertha's." "Yeah, we're friends with her." "We go way back." "And we'd would love to be down with you." "Down." "Love it." "Down with me?" "I'm flattered, but I'm really not into that." "No, no, no, no, we don't mean that." "Unless you want it like that..." "General P." "What we meant was we're a singing group... called Three Times Luscious." "Three, two, one." "My name is Kat" "My name is Pam" "My name is Tiffany" "That's right!" "Yeah, you girls do have a unique sound." "He said "unique. "" "So, why are you covering your ears?" "Just a distraction, you know." "The trucks driving by." "I gotta get back to work now." "P!" "P!" "Check out our choreography." "Three, two, one." "Stay put." "I may not be very long." "I will wait for an eternity, my caramel kulfi." "Three Times Luscious, three times the fun" "Three Times Luscious are number one" "Three Times Luscious, come on and dance" "Come on." "I came to party, came to party" "Come on, hollah" "We should be dancin', should be rockin'" "I came to party, came to party" "Come on, hollah" "We're goin' till the cops come knockin'" "Ohh!" "Friday night, just got paid" "Time to hit the streets of L.A." "Oh, my..." "I knew it." "You ain't nothin' but a lowdown dirty dog." "No, it's not what you see, baby." "These girls are auditioning for me." "It's Three Times Luscious." "Yeah, Three Times Luscious." "See, we're like Lil' Trina, Foxy Brown, and..." "You know what?" "I'm leaving so you can just carry on... with your little audition, you heard?" "Hold on!" "You got it wrong!" "You got it twisted!" "Come here, baby!" "I'm a damn fool." "My flower." "Let me go." "Get this off me, man." "Say, get out my sister's house!" "What about Three Times Luscious?" "You gonna miss this when it's gone." "Take me to the airport." "Come here, baby." " Go." " I love you." "So, do we have a record deal, P, or what?" "You girls suck." "What did he mean, we suck?" "We suck good?" "Thanks a lot, mutt." "He loved us!" "He's just giving us the poker face." "You know how those record execs are." "You've been watching "Making the Band," too, right?" "Oh, yeah!" "I'm gonna show you guys once and for all... that P really lives here." "Just let me do the talking, all right?" "Just be cool and chill, and we'll see what's up." "Lana, you came back!" "Ha ha ha!" "P. Miller." "See?" "I told you." "I told you, man, that P. Miller lives here, man." "You know, some of my employees... they didn't believe me that you lived here, man." "I told 'em." "Ten dollars, ten dollars, ten dollars, ten dollars." "Ha ha ha ha!" "Hey, man, we gonna be, like, knee-deep... in, like, sexy, erotic models and stuff?" "Hey, you shooting a video in here now, man?" "So what's happening?" "Yo, yo, Juan, it's not a good time, man." "Oh, cool." "No problem, man." "We'll just chill." "Cool, man." "Be cool, P. Miller." "Ha ha!" "He lives here." "I'll close the door." "I can't believe instead of going to the concert... on Saturday night, you got your own private Mario show." "Your family must be rich." "Well, let's just say my uncle has got the major hook-up." "You know, I'd love to meet your folks... and tell them that their daughter is the bomb." "You probably say that to all the rich girls at school." "You're the flyest girl in the whole school." "I knew that I wanted you." "Will you be my girl?" "Yeah, DJ." "I guess fate is one of those freaky things" "I admit that's something new" "What did you say this was again?" "Crab cakes and french fries." "It's good, huh?" "I haven't thrown down like this in years." "Yeah, good and burnt." "It's supposed to be crispy, Corey." "It tastes good that way." "Maybe if, um..." "I had some beer to wash it down like you." "Yeah, right." "When you're twenty-one." "Can I have some more juice to wash this down, please?" "I'll get it for you, shorty." "I might be five, but I ain't handicapped." "All right, shorty." "So why don't you finally tell us the story... of why you and Mama fell out so bad... that we hardly knew you were family?" "Well, it's like... your mama started dating this guy she really liked." "Mama dated?" "Yeah." "You know, but there was something shady... going on with this guy that I couldn't figure out." "Shady?" "You mean like takin' other people's lunch money?" "Somethin' like that, Corey, but worse." "I mean, old boy had some stuff going on with him... that I really didn't care for, and I confronted him about it." "Let me guess." "You scared him away?" "You could say that." "I guess I scared your mama away, too... 'cause she haven't called me since." "Didn't you at least want to see us?" "Of course, I wanted to see you guys." "I tried calling, but she never called me back." "Enough of this sentimental talk." "Tomorrow's Saturday." "Uncle P, can you take us to Fun World?" "What's Fun World?" "It's the coolest place in the world to have fun." "Mama promised she would take us for my birthday." "Fun World?" "Girl, don't you know this man... has a multimillion-dollar corporation to run?" "He's probably already days behind in work." "Ain't that right, Uncle P?" "Hmm." "If you guys finish your food up... do your homework for the weekend... and get to bed early..." "I just might take y'all to Fun World tomorrow." "Yeah!" "Hell, yeah!" "Pass the ketchup." "Watch your mouth, shorty." "What?" "Up, baby, up and down" "Down, down, and you twist around" "Go up, baby, up and down" "Down, down, and you twist around" "Shorty, you all right?" "You've been acting funny all night." "What's the problem?" "I'm tired of these other girls trying to take my uncle." "I even had to have a word with your woman, Lana." "She needs to learn." "Come on, shorty." "Time to go to bed." "Here, baby." "Fun World..." "Good night, shorty." "How's that new boyfriend treating' you?" "He's so cool." "It's like I woke up one day... and I'm Cinderella, and I met Prince Charming." "Just make sure that boy like you for you... and not 'cause he think you got it goin' on." "You hear me, niece?" "That shady guy you talked about at dinner?" "He was our father, wasn't he?" "What was the shady part, drugs?" "Yeah." "He was abusing them." "I just didn't want my sister and her family to be next." "Yeah, the others were too young to figure it out... but I remember." "He tried to hide it, but I knew something was wrong." "I just..." "I just didn't wanna break up you guys' family." "I know." "I'm really glad Mama called you to take care of us... 'cause ever since you got here... it seems like my social life has gone through the roof." "I'm glad you feel that way, niece." "But it seems like ever since I got here... my social life with my girlfriend... is going down the toilet." "Well, if it's any consolation... that was the best birthday gift ever... and I love you for it." "Go to bed." "I'll see you in the morning." " Good night." " Good night." "What's up, big man?" "Just thinking about how the bullies... haven't laid a eye on me since you showed up." "I'm glad I could be of help to you." "It's hard being the only man around here." "Do you have to leave when Mama comes?" "You know, I gotta go take care of my business." "But I'll just be a phone call away." "I promise." "You won't leave like my daddy did, right?" "Ha." "Never." "Just remember, no matter where I'm at..." "I'm gonna be there for you." "You know why?" "'Cause we're family?" "That's right." "Now, good night, big man." "Thought you had a friend." "All right." "I'm just playin', Uncle P." "Good night." "What's that?" ""You have fallen behind on your mortgage payment." ""You must bring the mortgage current" ""in 30 days of this letter. "" "So that's what happened." "I gotta make you mine" "You blew my mind" "What?" "Baby girl, please don't hang up." "Give me sixty seconds to explain to you." "You got twenty." "Go." "Baby, listen, those girls, you seen..." "Nineteen." "They meant nothing to me." "Eighteen." "Seventeen." "And my little niece was just trying to get you jealous... by saying I had another woman." "You know I don't have no other woman." "I mean, it almost seem like shorty got a crush on me." "You can't blame her, can you?" "Fifteen..." "Fourteen..." "Thirteen..." "The bottom line is, baby, I love you... and I wanna settle down with you... and have some kids like we talked about." "P, don't play with my emotions, boy." "Are you serious?" "No, boy, I ain't playing." "I'm taking my nieces and nephew to Fun World tomorrow, boo... and I want you to come." "Fun World." "Yeah, Fun World." "It's the coolest place in the world to have fun." "Yes, I will go with you to Fun World." "I love you, boy." "I love you, too, girl." "Can't wait to see you tomorrow." "Come on, y'all, let's go to Fun World." "Yes!" "Where's my rental?" "I had it right here." "You don't remember where you parked your own car?" "I thought I had problems here." "Yeah, shorty, I remember where I parked it." "Right here in the driveway." "Maybe it was stolen." "My Uncle P, carjacked?" "Heh heh." "That's not funny, Corey." "Life is sweet" "You could tell by the Benz and the Beamers and the Jeeps" "Big wheels, big grills..." "Hey, Percy!" "Wassup, dude?" "Check it out, home." "Man, what happened to the car?" "Look at this car!" "Hey, tight, huh?" "What happened to my rental?" "Man, look at these rims." "Oh, man, you know what?" "I saw you rollin' around the 'hood in that bucket... and I says to myself..." ""Self, you can't let Percy roll around the 'hood... in a bucket like that. "" "So, 2 A.M., me and my homies... we hotwired the sucker, took it down to the shop." "Check it out." "Rims, detail, hydraulics, expanded the interior... for your own personal body style." "Now you can roll around the 'hood... in Percy Miller style." "What I'm a tell the rental car people... when they see this car like that?" "I can't turn this car in like this." "Not gonna turn it back in, fool." "You're rich." "You just buy it and keep it." "Ha ha ha!" "Hey, work is for free." "You just tell your homies who hooked you up, huh?" "Who's your daddy?" "Ahh!" "Thanks, homeboy." "Welcome to the 'hood." "Uncle P, look at these dubs." "What you know about rims, shorty?" "I know a lot." "Let's go to Fun World." "See, dawg, I told you it was P. Miller." "Pay up." "Nice rental, P." "Lana say she always wanna have some kids" "Yes, I did." "So Tammy, Lindsey, and Corey" "That's your kids" "They're Bertha's kids." "We on our way to Fun World to have some fun" "Yee-ha!" "Say, we on our way to Fun World to have some fun" "Yee-ha!" "We gonna have some fun at Fun World" "'Cause we on our way to Fun World" "To have some fun" "Yee-ha!" "Hey, hey." "Hey, hey." "Are you one of those famous black guys?" "Yeah, Shaquille O'Neal, Lil' Romeo, whatever, man." "Just give me five tickets for me and my family." "Hey, that's not Shaquille O'Neal or Lil' Romeo." "That's my Uncle P, fool." "Well, whoever you are, sir... you're gonna have to wait in line... just like everybody else." "We don't make exceptions for anybody." "Yeah, I think everybody else ain't gonna mind... if I pay for all their tickets." "I got y'all." "Don't trip." "Well, that's gonna be at least $3,600." "$3,600?" "Put it on that." "Damn, what's up, my man?" "The party 'bout to start" "Let's hop in the van" "All the homies just chillin'" "Ladies walking' 'round in their sundress killin'" "All right" "That's what I'm talkin' about." "Uncle P should be in the pros, shorty." "You heard me." "That's how we do it, baby." "For me?" "Not this time, shorty." "This for my other baby." "Aw, thank you, baby." "If li'I mama stick her tongue out at me... one more time, I'm gonna snatch it out." "Ladies walking' 'round in their sundress killin'" "Man, what you waitin' for?" "All the fellas gettin' down to the beat, four/four" "Yeah, we're gonna have fun till the moon we see" "Come on, check in here, kid, for a house party" "Let's go, let's go" "Faster, faster, shorty!" "Come on!" "Faster!" "Let's go, let's go" "Have some fun" "Let's go, let's go" "Silly bunny, I love you!" "Let's go, let's go" "Have some fun" "Let's go, let's go" "Have some fun" "Let's go, let's go" "Have some fun" "Let's go, let's go" "Have some fun" "Hey" "Yeah" "They look kinda cute, don't they?" "Yeah, they do." "I can do this every day with you." "Every day?" "Well, almost every day." "Yeah, me, too." "The kids are sleeping, now the grown folks can play." "Are you two getting busy?" "Come here, shorty." "I thought we put you to bed." "I can't sleep." "I think there's monsters under my bed." "Monsters?" "Are you sure?" "I'm sure, so can I sleep with you to be safe?" "You better not pee on me, shorty." "Thank you very much." "OK." "You keep the change." "It's all right." "Hello!" "Anybody home?" "Mama!" "Ha ha ha!" "It smells good in here." "We missed you, Mama." "I missed you, too, babies." "So why didn't you call us to come pick you up?" "Oh, you know your mama." "I'm an independent woman." "Children, listen..." "I want you to remember something very important." "Never, ever take your family for granted." "Because you might just find out one day... that you really need them." "Guess what, Mommy?" "What, sweet pea?" "I didn't wet the bed two whole days." "Two whole..." "Well, and I guess you're partly responsible... for this minor miracle?" "Let's just say it's a work in progress, huh, shorty?" "I wanna thank you so much for looking after my babies... and taking care of my kids... 'cause I know how much you had to sacrifice... to stay here with them." "Oh." "Oh, that reminds me." "Look." "What's this, Mama?" "Clean bill of health." "Ha ha ha ha!" "All right." "No more trips to the emergency room... as long as I keep my stress and my cholesterol levels down." "Oh." "Well, I see my brother really been playin' house." "Sis, this is my girlfriend, Lana." "Well, it is nice to finally meet you, Bertha." "And I must compliment you on your kids." "You have the most adorable children I ever met." "Oh, thank you." "Bless you... girlfriend." "My car will be here in a minute... so come check out some of my food." "Oh, it smells good." " You gotta try it." " It's good." "Ooh, I want some." "You cooked it?" "Southern hospitality, baby." "You used to burn toast when we were kids." "That's why they call me Uncle P." "Oh, OK." "You got it, nephew?" "Yeah." "Well, it was nice getting to know you guys." "I hope to see you soon." "And, Lana, you're gonna have to call me... the absolute second that he proposes." "Mm-hmm." "I'm gonna have to record that date... as a moment in history." "Mm-hmm." "Yeah." "Can't you stay for another week?" "Sorry, nephew, but I gotta go back to Louisiana." "I gotta take care of some business." "I'll be back." "You just take care of your mom and your sister." "You heard me?" "I will, and thanks for giving me the four-one-one... on how to stand up for myself." "For sure." "You know, nobody reads me bedtime stories the way you do." "Oh, shorty." "I'm gonna read you one tonight over the phone, I promise." "You better." "Don't make me come lookin' for you." "Oh, look at you." "Come here, girl." "Niece, just remember, always believe in yourself... and everybody at school... they're gonna respect you for who you are." "Remember that." "Yeah." "I love you, Uncle P." "Love you too, niece." "Sis?" "Hmm?" "I know you've been having some financial problems." "I found this." "I just wanna help." "I'm not looking for any handouts." "I know." "I mean, you're my little brother, you know?" "And I'm very proud of what you've become." "You're a strong and responsible man." "I know you ain't looking for no handouts." "And I'm proud of what you've become, sis." "A strong, beautiful woman with some beautiful kids." "You deserve the world, raising these kids all alone." "Here, baby, I got something for you." "Well, what's this?" "No more stress, Mama." "Oh, I can't take that." "You got to." "Doctor's orders." "Oh!" "Bye, sweetie." "I'll see y'all." " Bye-bye, Lana." " Bye-bye." "OK." "I'm even gonna miss you, mutt." "All right, now." "Y'all take care of each other." "I love you." "Love you, too." "Bye, Uncle P." "Thank you." "Love you, Uncle P." "What's in there?" "OK, OK, let's see what's in here." "I don't know yet." "OK." "One-point-two million?" "Yeah!" "Thanks, Uncle P." "Peace, y'all." "Bye, baby brother." "Bye!" "He's just weird." "I know." "I think he is, too." "Hey, cutie." "Can we take the limo for lunch this week?" "DJ, I have something to confess." "That wasn't my limo... and my family isn't the one with millions." "My uncle is." "And now he's gone back to Louisiana... so now I'm back to being just the regular girl... you never noticed before the limo." "What do you mean "regular"?" "Why are you telling me this?" "'Cause I want you to like me for me... not for what you thought I had." "Tammy, what you had... is a terrific personality and smile." "I like you because of you... not because I thought your family was paid." "And plus, you're kind of cute." "I'm glad to hear you say that." "I really like you, too." "So what do you say?" "Can I walk you to that class?" "I thought you'd never ask." "You know, I never been to heaven" "But I'm feelin' that it's right here" "Thanks, Uncle P." "A million dollars?" "Can I borrow a hundred?" "Forget the money." "How about a free lifetime hook-up of P. Miller gear?" "I'll see what I can do." "Where's your uncle now, punk?" "He's right behind you!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Yeah, real funny, punk." "I'm gonna kick your butt." "You'll do what?" "I ain't scared of you wankstas no more." "Yeah, we peeped your game." "You're all talk." "We got heart." "Where's yours?" "Peace out before we get gangsta on y'all." "Go." "Shoo." "Let's just get out of here, guys." "Messing with these dudes is getting old, anyway." "Close call, yo." "Yeah." "Good job." "Thanks, Uncle P." "The itsy-bitsy spider went up the waterspout" "Down came..." "Oh, no, Lindsey, not again." "Not again." "Chill." "I'm just hopping to my feet... just like my uncle taught me when I had to go potty." "So, can I use the bathroom, please?" "Oh, Lindsey, of course, you can." "I'm so proud of you." "You go, girl." "Hey!" "Thanks, Uncle P." "The monkey took a big ol' wet, nasty dump... right on the lion's head." "And then he said..." ""Ooh, do you believe it's raining cats and dogs?"" "Ha ha ha ha!" "That's the joke." "That's the punch line, li'I ignorants." "Sawed-off little suckers." "See, man, I knew I should have at least... went to college or something." "I spent three years in eighth grade for nothing." "Now, I'm stuck in this old dead-end job." "I'll tell you about them kids, too." "Bad kids." "I'm sorry." "Excuse my language, but dumb as they are... they probably don't even know what the word mean." "Hey, good afternoon, Tammy." "Hey, Mr. Biggs." "Yeah, I heard tomorrow is school picture day." "I hope you kids can run in them church shoes." "Hey, Gary Coleman's godfather... when your lady gonna break out that baby chair?" "Let you ride up front with me." "That's it." "I'm gonna bust your." "Wait a minute." "Whoa, whoa, wait." "Whoa!" "Wait a minute!" "Wait!" "Ohh!" "If I get loose..." "I'm gonna drop you like a bad transmission!" "He was there when nobody was there for us" "And he cared when nobody would care for us" "Plus, he taught us the right from wrong" "And to never look back, man, 'cause life goes on" "Look, he was there when nobody was there for us" "And he cared when nobody would care for us" "Plus, he taught us the right from wrong" "And to never look back, man, 'cause life goes on" "Look, Uncle P, what more can I say about him?" "Ain't no simple man" "I got down and prayed about him" "Only so much my mama could do" "Three kids, laid off, and the bills is due" "And we need new shoes 'cause the bullies at school" "Keep talkin' about the way I dress is so uncool" "And I don't know what to think" "Until a tragedy became a blessing" "In the time it take you to blink" "The stress had it lookin' tough, Mama wasn't workin'" "Even worse was when she opened that letter, man, and grabbed her heart" "So many problems, but not that many ways" "To start to figure a solution" "Uncle P came and gave us flow" "And the troubles, we handled with the day and so" "Told my big sis" "Don't let them boys play your heart" "Told my li'I sis, stay in school and be smart" "And let me know I can do anything if I work hard" "He was there when nobody was there for us" "And he cared when nobody would care for us" "Plus, he taught us the right from wrong" "And to never look back, man, 'cause life goes on" "Look, he was there when nobody was there for us" "And he cared when nobody would care for us" "Plus, he taught us the right from wrong" "And to never look back, man, 'cause life goes on" "Now, to my nieces and my nephews" "I love y'all dearly" "I'm gonna be there if y'all need me" "So I hope y'all hear me" "This is your Uncle P, shorty" "Don't you worry about a thing and I'm gonna be there" "When your mama come home, let's do our things now" "Keep it real, shorty, wipe away them tears" "Shorty, don't cry, dry your eyes" "That's why I'm here, shorty" "All you gotta do is follow the rules" "You missed the bus, baby" "You can take the limo to school" "You have a problem" "I'm gonna be there just to hold your hand" "You call your mama Lois Lane, then I'm Superman" "And I'm gonna drop it off for the kids" "Let's do it big" "Every holiday, I'm there, we ain't got to reminisce" "He was there when nobody was there for us" "And he cared when nobody would care for us" "Plus, he taught us the right from wrong" "And to never look back, man, 'cause life goes on" "Look, he was there when nobody was there for us" "And he cared when nobody would care for us" "Plus, he taught us the right from wrong" "And to never look back, man, 'cause life goes on, yeah"