"EliScruggs was the handiest|of all handymen." "You could ask any|of his customers, and they would tell you, there was nothing|he couldn't fix." "Whether it was a broken vase... a leaky pipe... or a shaky banister," "Eli always knew|how to get the job done." "But sadly, the man who had fixed|so many things for the residents|of Wisteria Lane was now about to break their hearts." "Eli Scruggs,|get down from there!" "Mrs. McCluskey." "Just found this note|in my mailbox." "Says you're retiring?" "|" "What the hell?" "Yes, ma'am." "It's true." "Now why would you want to do|something stupid like that?" "My doc says|" "I got a bum ticker, have to take it easy|from now on." "Well, once I'm done fixing|" "Mrs. Mayer's shingles," "I'm on a plane to Waikiki.|" " Well, this is very annoying." "Who's gonna fix my water heater|when it breaks?" "Oh, I met this young guy|named Toby." "Very bright, just turned 30.|" "He'll take care of you." "Ah, damn it, Eli!" "I am not comfortable|with strangers in my house." "Took me ten years to trust you.|" " I know." "Most of those guys leave tools|and nails all over the place." "You never leave a mess." "Thank you, ma'am." "Have you told everyone else|you're leaving?" "I left copies of that same note|in everybody's mailbox." "Well, that's not right." "After all these years, people|will want to say good-bye, and... you know, maybe throw you|a party or somethin'." "Oh, no." "I prefer to go quietly,|if you know what I mean." "I don't want a big fuss." "Well, I'll miss you, Eli." "There will never be|another one like you." "With that Eli Scruggs|climbed his ladder for the very last time." "And once he had finished|making his last repair," "Eli Scruggs--|quietly, with no fuss-- had a heart attack and died." "And most importantly... without leaving a mess." "It took an hour|for someone to finally notice the body laying atop|" "Susan Mayer's roof." "Aah!" "It was|" "less than ten minutes later that the neighbors|began arriving, each determined to get a look at the various paramedics|and policemen who were all frantically|trying to figure out exactly how|to bring the body down." "And it took two days|for my friends to realize this tragedy|had affected them..." "We're ready!" "Come on." "more than|they were willing to admit." "Hey, Gaby, did you remember|to get change?" "'Cause when I cash in my chips,|" "I don't want to hear you say," ""all I've got is $50s."|" " Speaking of cashing in your chips, anyone know when Eli's funeral is?" "|" " Oh, I think it's Saturday." "I wonder how many people|are gonna show up." "Mrs. McCluskey was saying|he didn't have much family." "Poor Eli." "We should make sure|he's got flowers at his funeral." "I'm in.|" " How much are we talking?" "I don't know.|" "What do you think, Gaby?" "Gaby?" "Wow!" "Jimmy Choo!" "Oh, Carlos!" "These aren't even|in the states yet." "What's the catch?" "What are you talking about?" "You never buy me a present unless I'm mad|or about to be mad." "And I don't think I am,|so why am I about to be?" "I have to go to Cleveland tomorrow.|" " Carlos!" "They're begging me.|" "The merger's going south." "You just got home!" "With shoes." "Don't leave me here.|" "I'm going out of my mind." "Everyone is so boring|and suburban." "And how many|freakin' honor students can that school have?" "Can we please not argue|in front of the handyman?" "He has a name." "What's your name?" "Eli Scruggs." "You hear that, Carlos?" "You've brought me to a place where people are named|"Eli Scruggs."" "Fine.|" "I'll give up my job... and everything|that comes with it." "Not the Jimmy Choos." "They're the only friends|" "I've got." "Thought so." "I'm going to pack." "You know,|it's none of my business..." "You're right." "It's not." "But the ladies|in this neighborhood are actually pretty nice.|" " Yeah." "They came by, brought muffins." "One of 'em|wants her basket back." "That'd be Bree." "Anyhow,|she and the other ladies, uh, play poker every week." "If you'd like,|" "I could talk to 'em, see if they'll let you|host a game." "Hi." "We're, um...|the neighborhood." "Gabrielle invited us|to play poker." "So... is she in?" "Mrs. Solis|will be right down." "She likes to make|an entrance." "What does that mean,|"an entrance"?" "Hello there." "Welcome to my home." "Oh." "That's what it means." "So I said, "pumpkin"" "That's what I call|" "Jon Bon Jovi" "I said, "pumpkin, even if|" "I could steer a yacht," "I'm certainly not about to do it|in 5-inch heels."" "True story." "Well, you've certainly had|quite a glamorous life." "Well, it was before my husband|moved me here to East Nowhere." "Seriously, I don't know|how you girls do it." "Do what?" "|" " Get out of bed in the morning." "I've only lived here a month, and I want|to put a gun to my head." "You know what I mean?" "No, we don't." "There are no good|nightclubs, no theater." "What do you do for a good time?" "Well, we watch the kids|play soccer." "And the school drama department|puts on some really great shows." "And then there's church,|of course." "Church." "Oh, you're serious." "Look, I know it's quiet here,|but I think you'll find there's a real charm|to Fairview." "No, no, it's cute." "It's cute.|" "I get that." "It's just..." "I was a top-tier fashion model, and I guess I'm just gonna|have to get used to the fact that the best part of my life|is behind me." "Good-bye doing vodka shots|with Kate Moss, and hello to sipping international coffee|with you girls." "Full house." "Yes?" "Hello." "Is Mrs. Solis here?" "Oh, I got it." "I got it.|" "Go, go, go, go, go." "Ma'am, here's the bill|for fixing your sink." "Okay." "Thank you." "By the way..." "You made quite an impression|at the poker game." "Really?" "Oh, yeah." "The ladies|can't stop talking about you." "Aw." "Well, I'm sure|it was kind of exciting for them to have a star|in their midst." "Uh, let me think...|did they say "star"?" "I heard, uh, "stuck-up,"|"obnoxious," "bitch."" "What?" "!" "You know, I went out on a limb|to get you into that game, and then you go in there|acting like you're better than they are." "Oh, my clothes|said that, not me." "Well, did you ask them anything|about their lives?" "Why would they want|to talk about their lives?" "Their lives are boring." "Well, you know what's|gonna be really boring?" "You sitting here alone in this|big house without any friends." "If I were you,|" "I'd drop the attitude." "Learn to like|your neighbors." "Well,|thanks for the advice." "You wanna add that|to your bill?" "No." "It's on the house." "I brought muffins." "That's so nice." "We were just..." "Playing poker,|and I wasn't invited." "I know." "I get it." "I just wanted|to tell you guys" "I know I made|a horrible first impression." "Now you know why|models don't usually talk." "Because we say a lot|of stupid, patronizing things." "What I should've said was...|my husband's never home." "I miss the city." "I miss my life." "I'm lonely all the time... and I could|really use some friends." "Anyway, here." "Now that's how|you make an entrance." "Gaby?" "I'm sorry." "What?" "We're getting a wreath|for Eli's funeral." "Are you in?" "Actually, why don't you|" "let me pay for it?" "It can still be from all of us.|" " No, you don't have to do that." "I sort of do." "Now let's play some poker." "All right,|time for my luck to change." "This hand is for Eli." "Hmm." "Next hand is for Eli." "You know, if we're gonna|have a get-together after the funeral, we should|start thinking about food." "And by "we" and "food,"|you mean Bree, right?" "I thought that was clear." "I'd be happy to.|" "Any special requests?" "How about we pick something|from your cookbook?" "Great." "Gaby,|do you have your copy?" "I'll go get it." "You use my cookbook|to balance your table?" "Oh, it's only temporary." "Juanita needed|her coloring book back." "Oh.|" " All right." "Watch out, ladies." "I'm sorry if the frittata|is a bit dry." "Are you kidding?" "It's great." "You should give Linette the recipe.|" " Yes, 'cause that's what women in their eighth month|really crave--more stove time." "Mine is so erratic." "I'm not even sure what the|real temperature is." "Of course,|if a certain doctor would loosen the purse strings...|" " We're not getting a new stove." "If you would just take on|a few more patients, we could afford it." "Well, if I'm not supporting|you adequately, my dear, by all means, feel free|to do something about it." "Such as?" "Well, you could maybe...|" "I don't know, get a job?" "I have a job.|" "I'm a homemaker." "And a damn good one.|" "So to make this, you--you just s-sauté|some ham and some onions" "It's not happening, Tom." "I just sometimes think maybe you would appreciate|the value of a dollar more if you had to work|outside the home." "And I think you would appreciate|my value more if, for once, you had to cook your own food|and wash your own clothes." "Lynette makes me sew my own buttons.|" " I'll sew anything you want if you just stop|getting me pregnant." "I want a new stove, Rex, and if I need to get a job|to pay for it, so be it." "If you're|" "looking for a stove, we've got one|that's hardly ever been used." "I wish I could say the same|for my uterus." "Oh, yeah." "I ruined the brunch." "Hey, how's it looking|under there, Eli?" "Is it gonna cost me|an arm and a leg?" "Nah." "A few fingers, maybe." "Honey, my stomach's growling.|" "When's dinner?" "Oh, we're having leftovers." "You can heat them up yourself|if you want." "Since when|do we have leftovers?" "Since I started|writing my own cookbook." "Remember how you told me" "I should start making|my own money?" "Well, I've been going through|all my old recipes, and I've got|this great idea for a real home-style American cookbook.|" " You're not serious?" "Why wouldn't I be?" "People are always|complimenting me on my cooking." "You're great, but come on." "Every bored housewife|who pulls off a decent lasagna thinks she can|write a cookbook." "You think I'm just like|every other housewife?" "No." "No, no, no." "That's not what|" "I'm saying." "It's just that... what do you really know?" "I'll learn." "And I want it to be|more than just a cookbook." "I want to talk|about traditional values and give helpful hints|about homemaking." "Look, look,|this is my fault." "You know, I-I was|ribbing you the other day about getting a job,|but you took it seriously." "If you really want a new stove,|" "I'll get you a stove." "Now can you stop|this foolishness and make me something to eat|that isn't leftovers?" "Mrs. Van de Kamp?" "I fixed your banister.|" "Should be fine now." "I'll just go.|" "You can pay me whenever." "I know this is|a rough time for you." "Thanks, Eli." "By the way, the service for Mr. V.|was really nice." "You were there?" "I sat|in the back of the church." "I wanted to say good-bye|to Mr. V." "So uh... have you thought about|what you're gonna do now?" "You mean, with my life?" "I don't know." "Mrs. V..." "I've been meaning to give this|to you for a while now... but I, uh, could never find|the right moment." "I kept it for you, just in case|you might need it someday." "Hope you don't mind." "Oh, I gotta tell you.|" "I made your Cajun meatloaf." "Whoo!" "That may be|my favorite meal ever." "I can't believe|you saved this." "Ah." "Of course,|" "I'm not really in the mood to write a cookbook|right now." "Well... maybe one day you will be." "Hey, Bree, I know what|you can make for the wake-- that flaky-breaded-shrimp|thing." "Thanks, but I know|exactly what I'm gonna make." "Dave, it was a nice trip,|but I gotta tell you," "I don't know why we spent all|that money going to the Bahamas." "If we're not gonna|" "leave the hotel room, then why not just cover|ourselves in suntan lotion and have sex here?" "You just got a message|from Mrs. McCluskey." "Oh?" "She said your handyman died." "Eli?" "Oh, my God." "He was|working on Susan's roof and dropped dead|of a heart attack." "Can you believe that?" "No, no, no." "You are not|going to the gym again." "You said we were gonna|have afternoon sex." "We'll do it when I get back." "You say that|every time, Umberto," "And then you're too tired." "Maybe I wouldn't be|if you weren't so clingy." "Clingy?" "We haven't had sex|in two weeks." "It's like I'm 15 again." "Not us." "You." "Your libido|is out of control." "Umberto" "Look, you've got|a drawerful of toys." "Use 'em." "Oh!" "Ahem." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Eli!" "I-I forgot|you were in there." "Yeah." "I'm done fixing|your faucet." "Actually, I was done|ten minutes ago, but I was afraid to come out.|" " I'm sorry you heard all of that." "The good news is,|while I was in there," "I re-grouted your tub...|free of charge." "Wait a second." "What do you think|of my ass?" "Sorry?" "My ass--|on a scale from one to ten." "Well, I-I-I, uh... ticktock." "Ten." "It's a ten." "And the boobs?" "|" "Perky and firm?" "You've named them?" "Oh, come on, Eli." "My husband|won't have sex with me." "I just need to make sure|it's not... me." "It's not you." "Are you sure?" "Trust me." "I used|to work in construction." "My buddies would've|gone crazy for you-- cat calls, uh,|nasty gestures." ""Hey, you,|with the sweater meats!" ""If you ever need|any work done, call me!" "'Cause I got the perfect tool|for the job!"" "Y-you get the drift." "Yeah." "I do." "That was insulting|and demeaning." "Oh." "Thank you so much." "Miss Britt?" "The door was wide open." "I got the paint." "You|want to check the color?" "Eh." "Is everything okay?" "Things are great." "You want some wine?" "We're celebrating." "What's the occasion?" "I am no longer married|to a gay guy." "Umberto was gay?" "So you wasted your time installing that light|in the closet, because...|he went flying out of there." "At least you know now|it wasn't you." "Wasn't it?" "He said|that being married to me was what convinced him|that he liked men." "Oh." "You could imagine what a|boost to the ego that was." "Come on." "You had a gay guy sleeping|with you for two years, and those guys are pretty hard to land." "No." "No, trust me." "No need to be sad." "You're a knockout." "No, I-I-I need|this hand back." "It's hard to be a handyman|without a-a hand." "Mm." "Miss Britt,|what are you doing?" "You put the mirror|over my bed." "You know|exactly what I'm doing." "Are you sure about this?" "I don't|want to take advantage of you." "Oh,|" "I'm sure you'll be gentle." "Anyway," "I guess they're|burying him on Saturday." "Obviously, you want to go." "Yeah." "I do." "Oh,|" "leave that black dress out." "I'll get it dry-cleaned|for the funeral." "A little sexy for a funeral,|isn't it?" "Oh, I don't think Eli would mind." "Mom?" "That's Penny.|" "I'll be right back." "Mom!" "Hey, sweetie." "What's up?" "You said you would|help me with my math." "We're dividing fractions." "Oh." "I wish you'd caught me|two Chardonnays ago." "Mom, you promised." "I know, but mommy's|still planning Eli's memorial." "Start without me." "I'll be there|in a little while." "Oh, my gosh.|" "Lynette, are you okay?" "The doctor just called.|" "I'm pregnant." "This is fantastic!" "You" "Yeah." "Whoop-dee-doo." "Honey, you don't sound|too happy about this." "I was planning|to go back to work." "What?" "What a--|what are you talking about?" "I had it in the back|of my mind for a while, and then yesterday, I got a ph--|" " Hold it." "Sorry." "I was having trouble|paying attention." "Jeffrey Cuevas is retiring|in September." "I am the perfect person|to step into his job, and that is exactly when|" "Parker starts kindergarten." "The timing is like a dream." "But what about our dream|of having a-a little girl?" "This could be our chance." "Oh, please." "You know it's gonna|be a boy." "It's always a boy." "It's just gonna pee|in my face and hide dead things|in my shoes." "I am doing this, Tom." "I am going after this job." "But who's gonna take care of the kids?" "Well, I was hoping you could|cut back on your hours at work." "I can't do that." "I have a career." "You did not just say that." "No, I-I didn't." "I didn't." "Tom, I cannot just|stay at home wiping noses." "I need it for my sanity, and I need you|to back me up." "Oh!" "Mom?" "Well, the kids are up." "They're gonna want|their breakfast." "And I'm gonna back you up|by, uh, making it for 'em." "My hero." "Jeff Cuevas is fantastic, but I know I could take his|department to a whole new level." "What the hell is that?" "Oh, my water broke." "Take the overnight bag|out to the car." "Oh, three weeks." "That's a little soon, but, uh,|sure, I could make that work." "For God sakes, Lynette,|we gotta go to the hospital." " In a minute." "I'm|trying to lock this job down." "What kind of|perks are we talking about here?" "Okay, you're having|contractions." "That's it." "You" "I swear,|if you touch this phone," "I will have this baby right here|and then beat you with it!" "You're insane.|" "We have to go." "Could you hold on|one second?" "We agreed|" "I could go back to work after I gave birth.|" " After, Lynette, not during!" "I'm sorry." "Is there any way we could finish|this conversation tomorrow?" "Oh!" "L-l-later in the day|works better for me, too." "Well, thank you very much." "Bye.|" " Hey." "Whew!" "I got the job." "Congratulations.|" "The baby's arm is sticking out." "Why don't you high-five it?" "Tom, I am in pain.|" "Do you mind?" "Oh." "You'll see, Tom." "I know.|" "People say that you... ooh!" "You can't have it all,|but I know we can." "Oh, Mr. Swenson, I can't|tell you how excited I am." "Maybe you could schedule|a staff meeting so I could hit the ground|running on Monday." "No, no." "No, it can't be Friday, because, remember, we agreed|that we would start next week?" "So again, thank you so much|for this opportunity." "Mrs. Scavo?" "|" "Yeah?" "I think you might have|forgotten somethin'." "Could you hold on a second?" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "She's fine." "I was on the phone." "I was talking to my new boss, and I...|" " She was only in there for a minute." "But it's 85 degrees outside.|" "I've never done this before." "You got a lot on your mind--|three kids and a newborn, it sounds like new job." "Yeah, I do." "Yeah." "It's a lot to handle." "There you go." "Mm." "I should probably get back|to Susan's windows." "Uh, you take care." "Lynette,|are you still there?" "Lynette?" "Hello?" "Are you still there?" "Hey." "You coming back in?" "No." "I'm gonna go help my daughter|with her homework." "Ugh." "Yard sale!" "Oh!" "Good." "You're here." "How are you, Eli?" "Fine." "You?" "Great." "Yeah, I haven't worn|these Jeans in a while, and I found 20 bucks|in the pocket." "Don't you just love|when that happens?" "Also, Karl left me|for his secretary, so I need you|to change these locks." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "Oh, thanks, but don't be.|" "Just hurry." "Karl said he was coming by|to get some of his stuff, and I want this place|to be a fortress by then." "You're doing all right,|though?" "Oh, well, on one hand," "I got dumped for a pair|of headlights named Brandy." "On the other, I reported|" "Karl's credit cards stolen, and I cut the pockets|out of all of his pants." "So a little from column "a,"|a little from column "b."" "Oh." "Sorry." "Well, if it's any consolation,|redheads are nuts." "What do you mean?" "That she'll make his life|a living hell." "It sounds like|what he deserves." "Brandy's not a redhead.|" "She's blonde." "So, uh, you maybe want to go|with a dead bolt this time?" "What... do... you... know" "I saw him around town|a couple times with a redhead." "Uh, people in the neighborhood|were talking." "I-I thought you knew." "I didn't." "Would you feel any better knowing that, uh,|she's kinda chubby?" "Just leave!" "But what--|but what about the locks?" "I-i-if Karl's coming..." "Change the locks, then leave." "Okay,|but I really am sorry" "Change the locks,|don't talk to me, then leave." "Susan?" "Susan, did you call me?" "I couldn't really understand|the message." "Oh, wow." "You want me|to come back later?" "Are you all right?" "No." "Of course you're not." "I heard you and Mike|are getting divorced." "I'm sorry." "Probably not|what you want to hear, but I thought|you were a great couple." "Thanks." "Sweet." "Do you--maybe you remember|what you wanted me to do?" "Locks." "Change the locks." "Got it." "Let me go see what I got|out in the truck." "Susan..." "I don't know much|about love." "I..." "I dabbled in it|once or twice, but it always seemed|more trouble than it was worth." "I told myself|" "I wasn't missing much." "But watching you|all these years, how...|how hard you've tried, how... how hurt you've been, but you still... keep getting back up,|you dust yourself off, then you try again." "Maybe I am... missing something." "Maybe... maybe it is worth it." "And, um, I'm sure|it's not gonna help for you to hear|tell you this, but you're damn heroic|to me." "You are." "Yeah." "Hey." "Just dropping these off.|" "I finally got 'em cut." "Tell Jackson|" "I'm sorry it took me so long." "Actually, um..." "Jackson and I split up." "Wow." "I'm sorry." "Am I sorry?" "Oh, yeah." "He's a great guy." "I just, uh, want to be alone right now." "Well, good for you." "Oh, hey.|" " Mm?" "As long as you're here," "I think there's a loose shingle|on my roof." "Do you think maybe|you could fix it for me?" "Oh, I'd be happy to." "But just so you know, it'll be the last thing I ever|fix for you." "I'm retiring." "What?" "Today's my last day." "You can't retire.|" "I break too many things." "I know." "You paid for the trip|to Hawaii I'm gonna take." "No, it's the right move.|" "Be happy for me." "Hey, I am happy for you." "It's just, uh... this is gonna sound crazy." "What?" "Um, I think you have been the most consistent|male relationship in my life." "You're so stable and reliable,|and I just... always thought|you'd be around." "Which is funny, because I don't|really know anything about you." "Well, how about this--|" "I fix your shingle, and when I'm done, you can|ask me anything you want." "Great." "I will go to the store right now|and get some wine so we can toast|your retirement." "I like that." "Perfect way|to end my time on Wisteria Lane." "Oh, yes." "What kind do you like--|red or white?" "Either one." "Just make sure|it's a screw top." "Eli Scruggs was buried|on a Saturday... and all the people that Eli|had helped over the years came to pay|their last respects." "But one person was missing-- someone who had changed|" "Eli's life... in a way he never forgot." "Hope I'm not interrupting|your day." "Not at all." "Can I help you?" "I was hoping I could help you.|" "I'm a handyman." "Just moved into town.|" "Looking for work." "Sorry." "I, um, I don't have|anything that needs fixing." "Well, if you ever do,|uh, here's my card." ""Eli Scruggs."" "What a distinctive name." "People do seem to remember it." "So if any of your friends,|uh, need help," "I can do pretty much anything.|" " I don't know." "Um..." "If you have a extra card or two,|" "I-I could hand them out." "Oh,|" "I'd really appreciate that." "Oh.|" "Oh." "Anyway... thank you for your time." "I have a broken vase." "I'm sorry?" "I-I was, uh,|dusting the other day and knocked it off the bureau,|" "like an idiot." "Anyway, I saved the pieces." "If you could glue it|back together for me," "I'd really appreciate it." "Oh, ma'am,|you don't have to do that." "Mr. Scruggs," "I need my vase fixed." "It means a lot to me." "Now you're not gonna|make me beg, are you?" "No, ma'am, I'm not." "Good." "Come on in." "Mr. Young?" "Oh." "Didn't mean to disturb you." "Your front door was wide open." "Oh." "Eli, I-I don't have any work|for you today." "I'm just here to drop off|that handle you wanted." "Finally found one that matched.|" "Want me to install it?" "Not today." "Okay." "I'll just be going then." "Eli, wait." "What?" "Do you remember this?" "Oh, right." "This is the very first|thing you ever fixed for me." "Yeah, that must have been what,|uh, two years ago?" "Yeah." "I just that glue really held, huh?" "|" " Yeah." "I want you to have it." "What?" "Why?" "I've just been|doing some thinking about the people I know, the ones who've walked|into my life and made it better than it was before...|" " Oh." "People like you.|" " Oh." "Anyway, I've--I've--|" "I've never said "thank you."" "Oh, no, I'm--I'm the one|who should thank you." "You--you introduced me|to all your friends." "My business|couldn't be better." "I'm so glad." "Yeah." "Anyway, I, uh,|" "I want you to have this." "Mrs. Young..." "Are you all right?" "Everything's fine." "Are you sure?" "You should go now." "So I look in the window, and there's blood everywhere-- all over the walls and the ceiling...|" " Oh!" "Not to mention,|her hardwood floors, which she just had installed|" "last week." "I don't know|what she was thinking." "I just wish there had been|some warning, some sign that she would do|such a thing." "Eli Scruggs sat in his truck|for almost an hour, devastated that he had done|nothing to save me." "He then made a quiet vow|to God" "From that moment forward, he would do what he could|to help people, to help them fix their lives." "And for the rest of his life, that's exactly what he did." "That was a lovely service." "Eli would've liked it." "Hell of a turnout.|" " Who knew he had so many friends?" "I'm not surprised.|" "He was a good man." "I can't help feeling there's more we could have done|to honor him." "Well, let's just make sure|we remember him." "Eli would have said that's more|than most people get." "And he would have|been right..." "As usual." "Wait." "I wanted to fix something|for Eli for a change." "And somewhere, in a place reserved|for the very best of us," "Eli Scruggs smiled|and said, "thank you."" "Subtitles by LeapinLar"