" Have you got it?" " I think so, yes, I think so." "Weber, my notebook." " What's the matter?" " I thought I heard someone outside." " He's always hearing things since he got that message." " What message?" " A message I do not quite understand." " From whom?" " That's just it, I don't know." " But you think it's from this mysterious rescuer, huh?" " I believe it came from him, yes." "I believe I shall be got safely away." "I wouldn't be the first, you know." " And you'll go on with your work somewhere else, out of reach of the Nazis?" " Of course." " You've always refused to work for them, haven't you?" " I would sooner die." "My business is to cure, not to kill." "Weber, you say you gave the last injection at 4 o'clock?" " Yes." "Greatly increased resistance." "They were definitely better." "Seems to be working." "There is a man outside." "He told me to give you this note." " Let me read it." " Thank you." " The mind of man is bounded only by the universe?" "What's that mean?" " I knew it." "Weber, get my hat and coat, quickly." "And bring my suitcase." "Notebook." " Please be careful, please be careful." " What have I to lose?" " Good luck, my friend." "In my newspaper, Freedom, I shall tell proudly of a German whose brains could not be bought." " Thank you." "But I should not advise you to." " Oh, I am quite safe, I am a Pole." "My country is not at war." "Yet." " Goodbye." " Goodbye." " And Weber, see that they get better." "I am ready." " Hurry, hurry." " I think he will be all right." " Dr. Benckendorf?" " He has gone away." " That car that just left, follow it." " You are wasting your time." " Sidimir Koslowski, isn't it?" "Our time isn't entirely wasted." "You saved us a journey." "Inside." "(low chatter and typewriters clicking}" " Get this, it's hot, another big escape," "Justin Prolov." " Now, hold it, now hold it..." " No, no nobody knows he who he is." " Gentlemen, please, gentlemen." "The Minister of Propaganda instructs me to inform all foreign correspondents that rumors of a mysterious personage helping enemies of the state to escape from Germany are without foundation." "We can assure you there have been no such escapes." "And there is no such rescuer." "Furthermore, in Nazi Germany, no one can hope to be saved by anybody!" " Jordan!" "Jordan." " Yes, sir?" " Jordan, you are nothing better than a vandal." "A Goth, a spiritual descendant of the Huns, whose primary object was the desecration of beauty." " I wouldn't know what you mean, sir." "Not without a dictionary." " Yours is the unique privilege of looking after the fairest goddess of them all." "The one sublime woman." "But how do you treat her?" "Look, man." "Look." " Sorry, sir." "As a matter of fact, I'm very fond of Aphrodite, very fond." "But there's so many of 'em." " So many of 'em?" " Well, in a manner of speaking, there are, aren't there, sir?" " There's only one woman like this." "Look at the symmetry, look at the grace, look at, look at the dust, Jordan." " Sorry, sir," "I'll go and get my feather duster right away, sir." " Fond of her?" " Look, girls, there's Juno." " No, madam, not Juno." "Aphrodite Kallipygos." " Are you sure?" " Well I ought to know, I discovered her." " Really?" "She's just come out of her bath." "And you see that towel she's holding in her hand..." " That is not a towel, madam, it is a heton, a form of drapery." " It looks like a towel." " Very good." "It's a towel to you, it's a heton to me." " She's the goddess of plenty..." " No, no, no, no, the goddess of love." " Sh." " Of lawful, wedded love." " She's a respectable goddess, girls." " She's practically perfect, as you can see." "And in the languishing eye and smiling lips, there is a boundless compassion for the folly and ignorance of a blind world." " Very jolly." "Yes, very jolly." "Come along girls." " Professor, the college porter just called for you, sir." "You're late." " Late for what?" " Your lecture, sir." " Oh, don't be ridiculous, my lecture isn't till Friday." " But today is Friday, sir." " Good heavens, how extraordinary." "What happened to Thursday?" " We had it yesterday, sir." " Did we?" "Did we." " Yes, sir." " Morning." " Good afternoon, sir." " Where's teacher?" " If he doesn't hurry, the lecture will be over before it starts." " Well I've sent the porter to rout him out." " Half an hour's nothing." "He didn't turn up at all last week." " Hey, look at that, boy, isn't that beautiful?" " I think it's insulting, being so late." " Well, what do you expect, Bibbi, archeologists are always a thousand years behind the times." " No, Mr. Maxwell, a mere matter of 35 minutes." "Which compels me to omit two thirds of my lecture, for which, no doubt, you'll be duly grateful." "I shall therefore content myself with merely giving you something to think about till our next meeting." "The constitution of ancient Greece bears witness to both practical and spiritual influences." "For example, every line of the Parthenon, either returns to mother Earth, or slopes gently upwards to the heavens." "What is that?" " That, sir?" "That's a dice." " Dice?" "What's it doing here?" " It, uh, showed a regrettable tendency to return to mother Earth." " You'd better remove it." " Yes, sir." " Give it to me." "Mr. Maxwell, I often wonder what persuaded you to join this class." " My old man figured that a course of archeology'd sober me." " He figured in vain." " Anyhow, he was crazy, my coming to England." " That I can well understand." "But to continue." " Uh, professor." "Could I have my dice, sir?" " To continue." "In the Parthenon, we see the working of the spiritual influence, while in the dwelling houses of the Greeks we find the practical, as emphasized by a strict division of the women's quarters from the men's." "An arrangement which in my view proves the vast superiority of Greek civilization over our own." " He's always making cracks at us." " Greek women, moreover, were condemned to habitual seclusion." "An admirable practice, which unfortunately is not followed in this university." " Do you object to our presence here, professor?" " Oh, I can't object." "I can merely deplore it." "Now that we've succeeded, somewhat elaborately, in getting rid of the female students," "I'd like to have a word with you." "For some time past, I've been making excavations in Central Europe, for the purpose of discovering traces of an Aryan civilization." "Oh, I'm perfectly serious, gentlemen." "It may surprise you to learn the German government is most interested in the idea." "Next week, the term comes to an end." "Yes, Mr. Maxwell, it comes to an end." "And in the vacation, I've decided that I might take a few archeology students with me." "How does the idea appeal to you?" " It appeals enormously to me, sir." " And me, sir." " I'd like to come, sir." " So would I, sir." "If the financial requirements can be kept within reasonable limits." " I think I can guarantee that, Mr. Mclntyre." "That's four." "Four." "Not a very flattering response." " Would I be allowed to bring my young sister, sir?" " No, Mr. Elsted," "I'm seeking to avoid the company of females in general, and young sisters in particular." "I assume you would not be interested, Mr. Maxwell." " No, sir, I spend my vacations in the present, not the past." " Good." "Good!" " Professor, aren't we asking for trouble, going to Germany at a time like this?" " Trouble?" " I mean, I'd like to come too, but the jolly old blue might go up at any moment, you know." " Why, I hadn't thought of that." "A roughhouse is just my meat!" " Mr. Maxwell, I've already accepted your refusal." " No, I take it back, prof, you can count me in." " Oh, but I assure you..." " Now, prof, you might need a few huskies." "And I'm a whale at organization!" "You say the word and I'll run the whole outfit." " Mr. Maxwell, one of the chief attractions of this expedition, was the thought that for three whole months I wouldn't be seeing you." "However, now that's to remind me of something." "Of course, crumpets for tea." "Well, think it over, gentlemen." "Those of you who want more information can come and see me in the morning." "Good day." " I'll be around with the whole thing scheduled after dinner." "Come on, boys." " 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe..." " Stop!" " All mimsy were the..." " Ah, professor, good afternoon." " Good afternoon." " How are you, pray?" " Late for my crumpets, as a matter of fact, which unlike wine, do not improve with keeping." " Good day, sir." " Ah, one moment." "It may have escaped your memory that I am the dean of this college." " Oh, so you are, sir, I'm so sorry." " But you will hardly have forgotten Dr. Benckendorf." " My goodness, the guinea pig!" " My old friend, how good it is to see you." " Well, well, well, it must be nearly 20 years." " All of that, I am afraid." " Ah, this is wonderful." "How are the experiments coming along?" "I tell you what, you must come round to my rooms after hall, and we'll talk the cluck around." " May I remind you that the doctor is my guest." " No no no, you're both of you my guests, come along." "Well, goodbye." " Extraordinary fellow." " Well, now that the dean has left us, tell me all about it." "The serum was a success, eh?" " I left before I had the final proof." " Oh that was too bad." " On the other hand, I still have my life." " It's hard to believe conditions are as bad as you say." " They are worse, my friend." "My escape was a miracle." " So it seems." " I very much regret, I am unable to thank my rescuer." " By the way, who was he?" "And how on earth did he manage it?" " I have no idea." "He came and went like a shadow." "An invisible bodyguard." "Every detail was arranged for me, from the time I left my home." " Regular Cook's tour, eh?" "Well anyway, you're safe and alive and able to get on with your work." " Yes, I like to believe it was because of my work that he did it." " Not a bad reason." " It is difficult for people like us to understand the motives of a true adventurer." "You and I are not men of action, my friend." " No, I hate violence." "It seems such a paradox to kill a man before you can persuade him what's right." "So uncivilized." " Bless my soul, what's that?" " Everything's lined up, prof, and I brought the bunch along for a final check-up." " I said tomorrow." " Sure, but I'm helping you buy 12 hours." "Now look, chief, use the itinerary of the times of arrival and departure." "An iron ration will be carried by all, and personal luggage restricted to 28 pounds." "And we're all set to go." " Go away, don't you realize that I..." " Oh." "Oh, I'm sorry." " Sorry, sir." " Say, prof, can I have my bones?" " Hmm?" " Dice." " No, they're my bones now." " You're welcome, prof, see you in the morning." " Good heavens." "Did I dream all that?" " I'm afraid not." "We're all set to go." "(crowd chanting in German}" "(train rumbling on tracks}" " My home is in Oy." " Oy?" " Oy." "But when I am on duty, I am billeted at the chalet." " Do you think he'd bite me?" " No, not unless I tell him to." " Come here, gentlemen, I want you to meet a friend of mine from Oy." " Hello, how are you?" " I say, professor, we're not gonna walk right on out of Germany today, are we?" " My feet are giving out." " Do you think they'll manage to carry you another 20 hours, Mr. Gregson?" " What's all this barbed wire for?" " We are at the German-Swiss frontier, gentlemen." "And the barbed wire is to prevent the oppressed Swiss from escaping into free Germany." " Say, do you see what I see?" " What do you mean, the cow?" " Yeah, the cow." " Yeah, believe it or not, boys, that's a Bonhoffer cow." " They produce less milk than our Jersey cows." " Really, you must tell me more of your experiences some other time." " Mr. Romley." " Here." " Come on, Gretchen, let's hear a few." " Yes, come on." "♫ You'll take the high road" "♫ And I'll take the low road" "And I'll be in Scotland afore ye" "♫ For me and my true love will never meet again" "♫ On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond" " Come on, boys, Annie Lloyd." " Everything all right, Herr Professor?" " Everything's splendid." "And the coffee's excellent." " I'm glad it's to your taste, sir." " Still at it, prof?" " Yes, we shall only be doing about 15 miles tomorrow." " It'll seem like standing still." " Well, have you got our marching orders?" " Yeah, just another 15 miles." " Does he never relax?" " He's like a man hunted by a conscience." "Forever forging ahead." "There must be reason for it." " There is." "Sex starvation." " Go on." " No kidding." " Maybe you're right." " Well can't we do something about it?" " Say, that's quite an idea." "Tootle on that flootle, Jock, I'm going into action." "My tooting." "♫ La da dee, da dum dee dum" "♫ La da dee, da dum da dum" "♫ Dee ♫" " Now gentlemen, since you're all in such magnificent spirits," "I've decided to alter slightly tomorrow's itinerary." " Ah." " It will now be 20 miles." " 20 miles, but that's..." " We'll make it 19 miles." "Yes." "Now, as you all know, we're now at Unter Sitzenberg." "Altitude 5,000 feet." "In the morning, we shall climb to 8,000 feet." "And uh... in the afternoon..." "Yes." "On second thought, we'll postpone discussion about the afternoon's operations until later." "And so, gentlemen, to bed." "The call tomorrow morning is 5:30am." " Hello." " Hello, Hans." "Have some coffee?" " No, no, I want to go to bed." " Now take it easy Admiral, I never shave in the evening." " It's getting late, Herr Professor." " Thank you for reminding me, my friend." "(quiet laughter}" "♫ Goodnight ladies" "♫ Goodnight ladies" "♫ Goodnight ladies" "♫ We draw you now ♫" " Silence." "Go to sleep." " If you're looking for dames, there aren't enough to go around." " Oh, wanted me, sir?" " Yes, come." "Anybody come in here just now?" " There's no one here but the English party." " So." " I haven't seen anyone, sir." " Are you sure?" " Yes sir, I have been here since I came off duty." " So." "Well he's in Switzerland by now." "There'll be the devil to pay for this!" "Get your post." " You don't expect me to believe that nonsense?" " Yes I do." " It couldn't be the same man." " It might be." " It couldn't be!" "Here, here, here, here, here!" "He couldn't be everywhere." " He could." " And last night here on the Swiss frontier." "Let's go see how the reports are coming in." " Right." " What's the latest about Planker?" " Oh a message from Breslov." "No information regarding identity of unknown man who assisted in Karl Planker's escape." " Still no news of this fellow." "Means trouble for someone." "Any news?" " Message from Hamburg." "No information regarding identity of unknown man who prevented the execution of Josef Fiatz." " Breslaw, Hamburg, Belgian frontier, French frontier." "All the same, no news." " Planker seems to have got away." " Over the Swiss border, same as Josefs and Blumenfeld." " Shankenhurst went through Holland." "But it's this damn shadow that Graum's after, if we can believe in it." " Well I do." " You call this thing a report?" "What is the use, Herr Kommandant, of the gestapo arresting enemies of the Reich if you permit them to escape?" " Every precaution was taken." " That's no excuse for your conduct." " We are answerable for our conduct to General von Graum, not to his assistant." "Kindly have my report delivered." " I'm afraid you'll regret that, Herr Kommandant." "Please wait outside." "Schmidt?" "Take this report to General von Graum." " Yes sir." "Oh, don't you think?" " At once!" " Yes sir." "Get out, you!" " Oh, Hoffman." " Yes?" "Oh, hello Schmidt." " Take this report in there." " What is it?" " Another report from the prison kommandant about Karl Planker's escape." " I'm sorry, just going to have my lunch." " Hoffman, this is an order." " Herr Reich Minister." " Know your enemy." "I am told that the English have a secret weapon." "Their sense of humor, and I am determined to find out all about it." "For instance." "PG Wodehouse." "Listen." ""The man with the beard sighed." ""Down in the forest something stirred."" "Is that funny?" " No, it's not funny." " Good." "Now, the famous English humoristic journal Punch." ""Young lady at telephone." ""You say you have met an officer and a gentleman." ""Well, bring them both up."" "Not funny?" " No, not funny." " Good, now Edward Lear." ""There was an old man of Bengal" ""went to a fancy dress ball." ""He said I'll risk it and go as a biscuit" ""and the dog ate him up in the hall."" "Very unfunny." " Yes, very." " Now Herr Lewis Carroll." ""Alice Through the Looking Glass." ""Twas brillig and the slithy toves" ""did gyre and gimble in the wabe."" "Painful rubbish." " Very painful." " I have come to the conclusion that the English sense of humor is a myth." "They have no sense of humor and therefore they have no secret weapon, the whole thing is a complete bluff." " Yes, yes." " Ah, but wait." "When I am Gauleiter of London I shall see to it that there is no talk of sense of humor." " Oh you will, Herr Reich Minister." " Well what is this?" " A report on the escape of Karl Planker." " Ah." "Schmidt and Marx, bring them here." "Get them!" "I shall see the prisoner Koslowski in three minutes." "Ah, come in gentlemen, come in." "Incompetent clowns!" "You have read this report?" " I have sir, I told the prison kommandant what to expect." " You did, eh?" " The frontiers are watched, all foreigners questioned." "It won't be long before we get the man who arranged these escapes." " Oh, then you have his description?" " Hardly, sir." " Well." "And it never occurred to you to question the one man who could give it to you?" " Who, sir?" " Send in Sidimir Koslowski." " Of course." " Just so." "A more impatient man might resent having to supply all the brains in his department." " Prisoner Koslowski." " Ah, just the man we want to see." "I wanted to have a little chat with you about freedom." "Oh, not the paper you edit, but your own personal freedom." " Well?" " At our last interview I asked you to let me have a list of the persons who had contributed matter to your paper contrary to the interests of the Reich." " You did." " Well suppose we forget that." " It'll save you a lot of disappointment." " And suppose you answer me a much simpler question." " In return for what?" " Ticket to Warsaw, the freedom of your own country." "While it exists." " What do you want?" " A description of the man who prevented the arrest of Dr. Benckendorf." " I can't give it." " You were present at the time." "A trained observer must have noticed some little peculiarity." "How he walked, he talked, his height." "What was his nationality?" " I've no idea." " Oh come." "I should hate to leave you to the tender mercies of those idiots who've just gone out." " Very well then." "Under duress." "He was seven feet high and covered with red hair." " I see." "You are, I believe, a married man." " Correct." "But with Europe in its present state, my family is abroad." " Your family consisting of one daughter?" " Yes." "She is safely in America." " In America, yes." "Thank you." "Good day." " Is it the real thing, sir?" " No, Master Gregson, I'm afraid it's just a flint from one of Mr. Hitler's new roads." " Letter for you, Prof." " Oh, thank you." "I'm very sorry, Mr. Gregson." "Well, look at that." "Oh that's very pretty." "An invitation from our embassy in Berlin." "Berlin?" "Oh that seems an awful long way away." " Wait a minute, don't tell me you've forgotten we're all set for Berlin tomorrow morning?" " Are we?" " Sure." " What time are we leaving?" "9:52." " Oh." "AM?" " AM, and I'm gonna write it down." "9:52." "Now it's right here in your pocket." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Well gentlemen, I shall see you on the train." "9:58." " Two!" " Two." " But where are you going tonight, sir?" "Aren't you going to stay here?" " Probably." "Probably." " Thank you." " Don't worry about me." " You know, some guys should go around in a lead." "(clanking}" " er kommt." "What did I tell you?" " Get rid of it, you fool!" " What are you doing you two?" " Nothing." " You were looking at something." " I was only looking at his hands." " Why?" " Because they're the hands of the world's greatest pianist." " Well, who wants to look at the dirty hands of a dirty loafer?" "I shall report you for this." "Name?" " Meyer, Karl Meyer." " Get on with your work or you'll have a taste of this." " How do you expect to be rescued from this place?" "Nothing but fields and open country." " I don't know, but I believe." "There have been others, you know." " Stop talking there!" "Next time there's any trouble it'll be one of you scarecrows!" " Gosh, the shadow's been at it again." "World famous pianist escapes from labor camp." " Let's have a look." "Karl Meyer the pianist is reported to have crossed the French frontier in an exhausted condition." " It is suggested that his escape is effected by the mysterious personage believed to have been responsible for similar rescues of other enemies of the Reich." " What a game, what a game." " Better than burrowing like a rabbit for bits of the past." "That guy has guts." " Even a rabbit has guts, Mr. Maxwell." " Sounds awfully sensational." "Wonder how he does it." " By taking a chance." " They'll catch him on the hop one of these days." "They always catch that sort of bloke, don't they sir?" " In the deplorable argue of you moderns, I wouldn't know." " The man penetrated the camp in the guise of a scarecrow." " In the guise of a scarecrow?" "Here let's have a look." "Guise of a scarecrow." "He was undoubtedly wounded, for a ragged coat with a blood-soaked sleeve was picked up when the escape was effected." " Blood soaked sleeve?" "Very melodramatic." " Pipped in the arm, eh?" " I wouldn't pay too much attention to newspaper reports, gentlemen." " Well, I suppose one can get a wash on this train." " Yes, yes, that's a good idea." " Think I'll have a wash too." " Right, a wash." " My hands are perfectly clean." "What on earth's the matter with you gentlemen?" " Prof." " Just so, Mr. Maxwell." "But a sensible fellow would keep his mouth shut." " Oh gee, oh boy oh boy." "Well kick me from here to Christmas." " Apart from the wearisomeness of such an undertaking," "I'm the one who should be kicked for the not unnatural mistake of underestimating your intelligence." " But how did you get into the racket?" " Trouble was to keep out of it." "You see, when a man holds the view that progress and civilization depend in every age upon the hands and brains of a few exceptional spirits, it's rather hard to stand by and see them destroyed." " But how did you get away with it?" "You of all people?" " Mr. Maxwell, I'm not a spectacular person." "In fact, a natural capacity for melting into the landscape has suddenly proved very useful." " I guess you're one of the greatest guys in creation." " That, Mr. Maxwell, is a gross overstatement." "Actually I'm a singularly weak person." "Who invariably gives way to his impulses." " Fellas, come back here, on all fours." " Well gentlemen, I hope you feel duly refreshed." " Yes, thank you sir." " Professor, may I shake you by the hand?" " Certainly Mr. Mclntyre, especially as we shall soon be saying goodbye." " Goodbye?" " Goodbye?" " What else?" "Now that you've discovered my guilty secret." " Yes, we've got something to say about that." " Plenty to say." " Yes, we've been talking it over ourselves." " Yes, we want to be in it, sir." " We are in it, up to the neck and through to the finish!" " Oh no you're not." " Oh yes we are, otherwise I'm afraid we'll have to give the whole show away!" "Eh fellas?" " What is this gentlemen, blackmail?" " Well, a nice kind of blackmail." " Yes." "Yes, I'll attend to it at once." "Hello?" "Hello?" "I can't hear a word, I'll ring you back." "Gentlemen please, I can't hear my own voice!" " I'm sorry." " Is there nowhere else you can go to perpetrate these noises?" " Characteristics are purely French." " Rubbish!" "The phrase or one like it occurs in no fewer than seven compositions of Lubach's early work!" " Nothing like it." " Well at least we're agreed about the tempo!" " I maintain there is a modulation in the second movement!" " But I heard the record and I didn't notice it!" " Well if you'd listened more carefully you'd have heard that the tempo of the second movement is far slower than the tempo of the third!" " Gentlemen, please." "Will you be quiet!" " Here in this building we are supposed to know everything that goes on in Germany." "You can hardly expect me to believe that these escapes were effected without treachery somewhere!" " Herr Reich Minister!" " We've given all the information we possess." " If my loyalty's in question, I resign." " Resign, that is your valuable contribution?" "Sit down." "Now, let us examine once more the available evidence." "First, a scrap of music whistled in the night." " Beg your pardon Herr Reich Minister, it went this way." " No, this way." " No no no." " Stop that!" "The origin of the tune is being traced by a committee of experts." "Secondly, the corner of a card found in the pocket of the scarecrow's coat." "Send in Herr Zigor." "Where is it?" " Here it is." " A piece of paste board." "Gild aged, with RSVP printed in copper plate on one side, and the figures 9:52 in pencil on the reverse." "Well?" " It must be part of an invitation card, sir." " Oh well done Herr Schmaus." "And that being so it is possibly one of a number issued for the same reception." "Is it beyond the power of the gestapo to trace where that reception is being held?" " Herr Zigor is here." "Well?" " Unfortunately sir, none of the persons who overheard the whistling that followed each escape has enjoyed a musical education." " Oh." " So we have endeavored to crystallize their renderings into a single musical phrase and score it." "There." " I asked you to trace the origins of the phrase." " It starts with a 27 bar of the third movement of Lubach's concerto in G minor." "May I play it for you?" " No, I will." "Sit down." "Put on the record made by the frontier guard." "But don't start it." "Lubach's concerto." "I don't believe it." "Put on the record." "Oh, stop it." "Well." "Here at last we have something." "Come over here, all of you." "You see?" "Identical." " Absolutely identical." "The British Embassy reception." "That means he must be English!" " Does it?" "How interesting." "And the fact that I too have received an invitation means that I must be English!" "Thank you gentlemen for your invaluable help." "You may all go." "And you." "What are you doing here?" " I was just collecting some papers." " What for?" " I don't know." "I always do." " What's your name?" " Wagner, Herr General." " Do you like music, Wagner?" " Not very much, Herr General." " Do you like this melody?" " It's quite nice, for an English tune." " Did you say English tune?" " Why of course." "An old English song." "There is a Tavern in the Town." " Come here, Wagner." " Herr General?" " Don't be nervous." "You shall be rewarded!" "You are a genius!" "You shall have a signed picture of the Fuhrer!" "Have a chocolate." " His excellency the Peruvian minister and Madam Gordia." "Lord and Lady Grabett." " How are you my dear?" " The ambassador here?" " No no, he had to fly to London." " Oh, things as bad as that, eh?" " Well hope springs eternal, eh?" " Herr Reich Minister General von Graum." " My felicitations." " So glad you were able to come." " I never miss an opportunity of cementing the friendship between Britain and the Reich." " That was very happily put." " I hope you will be able to come to the Nuremberg rally?" " Yes, I hope so." "What's it in honor of this year?" " Peace." " Ah." " Captain and Madam Lacroix." "Colonel and Mrs. Channing and Lady Eva Plumb." " That man over there." " Where?" " By the table." "The one by the fireplace with the beard." " Idiot, that's one of our men." " The right honorable the Earl of Meadowbrook." " Hello Bussy, what have you been doing?" " Absolutely nothing." " My dear fellow, you mustn't overdo it." " I know." " Oh, the jolly Miss Coles." " Good evening, General." " General von Graum." " Oh yes, of course." " Not a very good memory." "Nervous?" " Not in the least." " Well you know what you're looking for?" " I have my own idea." " A typical English guards officer, man about town." "Or perhaps the explorer type." "Strong, silent, resolute." " Guard's officer, man about town, explorer." " Perhaps that man there." " Or there." "Or there." "No, I'm afraid that's not the type I'm looking for." " No?" " No." "I'm looking for brain, not brawn." " As you will." "Anyhow, all I can tell you is that the man we want will be here tonight." "See what you can do." " Don't forget the General's name again." " Thank you, sir." " Sir Roger and Lady Tadworth." " Your card please, sir." "Thank you." "This way please." "Thank you sir." " His excellency the Chilean ambassador." " Have you got a match?" " I'll get you one, sir." " Thank you." " Senor and Senorita Goya." " Old soldiers." " Yes sir." " Sorry sir." "Professor Horatio Smith." " Hello George." " Hello Horace." " Well I've come as I promised." " Well that's splendid." " Can I go now?" " Oh I should stay a bit and enjoy yourself." " Alright." " That's a nice suit." "You make it yourself?" " Certainly not, a fellow in Cambridge made it for me when I was 17." " Alice, I'd like you to meet my brother Professor Smith." "Lady Willoughby." " How do you do?" " Not the Professor Smith?" "Why only the other day someone said I was the image of your Aphrodite." "What do you think?" " Well it's rather hard to judge, you see," "I only know my Aphrodite in the nude." " Horace, I don't know whether these details of your private life..." " Yes well, to the pure all things impure." " If I were you I should take things a bit easy." " It's alright, my head's like iron." " In more ways than one, believe me." " Say, there's the prof." "And it looks like he wants me." " You mean us." " Who is that?" " I've no idea." " He's here." " How do you know?" "I've just been upstairs and..." " Have you noticed that, sir?" " I do my best not to, Mr. Gregson." " I'll bet she's got a headache holding that up." " Yes, let that serve as a reminder to you gentlemen that the rendezvous is 11:30 at Dvorak's." " And I think I know who he is." " Oh, who?" " I don't speak until I'm certain." " I thought you said there were half a dozen cards with their corners torn off." " Yes, but only one that will exactly fit the one that I have here." " I can hardly imagine the man you're looking for being wise enough to tear the corners from half a dozen and foolish enough to leave his own card." " You are a very intelligent young woman." " Very intelligent of you to realize it." " Now that he's in here I can promise he won't get out." " I haven't any complaints." " The champagne's not too hot, in fact it's lukewarm." " What do you expect baby?" "It's free!" "See Naples and die." "Boy, do you see what I see?" " Now's your chance." " Gotta do things artistically." "There's a different approach to each type." "Watch me." " Excuse me." "Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought you were somebody else." " Von Graum." " Smith." "Clearly a case of mistaken identity," "I'm looking for Jekyll and I find Hyde." " Jekyll?" "Hyde?" "Oh an English joke." " Well, hardly a joke." " Well excuse me." " No no no, you mustn't go, tell me more about yourself." "I'm always interested in local customs and habits." "For instance, what do you do with yourself?" " I hunt for the enemies of the Reich." " Do you?" "Do you get much shooting?" "Oh waiter." " Well excuse me, I think someone wants me." " No no no, not til you've had your coffee." "They tell me the British Embassy is the last place in Germany where it can be obtained." " In Germany we have discovered that a substitute can be better than the real thing." " Ah, the story of the grapes." "Tell me, is it a fact that in your country, there's no longer any freedom of speech?" " All lies, all lies." "Of the degenerate, plutocratic press." " Ah, is that so?" "Well then you see that journalism is so untrustworthy, isn't it?" " May I ask what brings you to Germany, Herr Smith?" " A thirst for knowledge." "I'm trying to discover whether there was or was not an Aryan civilization in this country." " There was." " Ah, some people say there wasn't, but I shall find out." " Here's a whiskey, Bussy, what'll you have in it?" " Absolutely nothing." " You know it is extraordinary." "Bussy's vocabulary consists of..." " Absolutely nothing." " It's sublime." " It's ridiculous." " It can mean anything." " And it can mean absolutely nothing." " It can even be an insult." " Or a password." " Password!" " Tell me, I am curious." "Your English humorist Lewis Carroll." "Why does he write such idiocy?" "Listen." ""Twas brillig and the slithy toves" ""did gyre and gimble in the wabe."" "Does not make sense." " But it does!" "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe." "All mimsy were the borogroves and the mome raths outgrabe." "It makes perfect sense." " But what does it mean?" " It means whatever you want it to mean." "You can either use it lyrically or, as I'm afraid" "I do sometimes, in place of swear words." " Extraordinary." " As a matter of fact you know ever since I've been in Germany, I've felt exactly like Alice in Wonderland." " Oh but Germany is a Wonderland." " Oh it is, it is." " But we have one problem." "To be or not to be, as our great German poet said." " German?" "But that's Shakespeare." " But you don't know." " Well I know it's Shakespeare." "I thought Shakespeare was English." " No no, Shakespeare is a German." "Professor Schutzbacher has proved it once and for all." " Oh dear, how very upsetting." "Still, you must admit that the English translations are most remarkable." " Goodnight." " Goodnight, goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow." " What is that?" " One of the most famous lines in German literature." " You haven't even told me your name." " It's Ludmilla." " What a lullaby." "Millie for short?" " No." "Lucinka." " Ah." " Have you noticed the music stopped?" " Oh, right back to earth again." " Let's talk about you for a change." "Apart from being American, what are you?" " I'm a student of archaeology." " Very funny." " On the level." "I'm a member of the Professor Smith expedition and proud of it." " Smith." "Oh, the vague person I saw you talking to?" "Looks as though he hated coming into the middle of a room?" " The greatest guy that ever drew breath." " Really?" "I always said one shouldn't go by appearances." " I could tell you things about him that'd knock the legs from under you." " You could?" "Then do." " No, I guess you'll have to take my word for it." " Then get me a glass of champagne to make up for it." " Sure!" " I'm certain it's him, I've just been listening to him." " What did he say?" " Absolutely nothing." " Then why bother me?" " But that's what he said." " Did you want me?" " Yes." "Our friend Marx thinks that it's that fellow there." "What's your opinion?" " I wouldn't have said so." " Oh, have you a better suggestion?" " Yes." "Yes, I would have said he was more likely." "That man by the statue." " You can't be serious." "Why him?" " Intuition." " That amiable fool?" "I just wasted 10 minutes talking to him." " Well, that's what I think." " Intuition." " Oh, hello George." " Hello Horace." " I say George, can I leave now?" " My dear fellow, of course." "I hope you enjoyed yourself." " Oddly enough I did." "Quite a pleasure to be on British territory again." "Technically." "Oh, General." " Excuse me, I have friends." " Of course you have, but do you know" "The Walrus and the Carpenter?" "Evidently not." " In America they'd regard German propaganda stories as jokes." " They are mistaken." "In Germany we never joke." "Oh here's that terrible fellow who's been haunting me all evening." "He's followed me about like a shadow." "Excuse me." "Well, what do you want now?" " I want to arrest that man." " Who?" " The man they call Bussy, the Earl of Meadowbrook." " Here?" "In the British Embassy?" "Don't be a fool." " All the same I want." " What are you doing with those?" " Absolutely nothing." " Lovely trees." " A midsummer night's dream." " Oh, I beg your pardon." " It's quite alright." "Now I know a balcony where there isn't so much traffic." " I find it quite pleasant here." " I've been looking for you all over the place." "Professor's just leaving." " He would." " Well oughtn't we to be going too?" " Scram, will you?" " My instructions are that I am not to let you out of my sight." " Have a heart, please." "Stick around someplace." " Alright, I'll wait for you on the staircase." " Another party?" " Oh, just getting together with the rest of the gang at a beer cellar." " Of course there wouldn't be any balconies at a beer cellar." " Well, no." "That is, it'd be swell of you to come, but it's just a dump, I don't think you'd like it." " I bet it couldn't be any worse than Smokey Joe's on 6th Avenue." " Say, do you know Smokey Joe's?" " Yes." "Don't let it go any further." " Come on, this has gotta be another party." " Can I take your hat, sir?" " Thank you." " Well well well well, still at liberty and they say the age of miracles is past." " Well, you've put on weight, Dvorak." "What's the news?" " Democratic league's in trouble." " What, again?" " And they've arrested their Polish editor Koslowski." " Oh, those hotheads." " Ah, Koslowski's a great man." " Yes, I know, but I'm not interested in politics." " I know, but you should be." " Good evening, gentlemen." " Good evening, sir." "What was the party like, sir?" " It was very instructive, Mr. Spencer." " What'll you have?" " I think I'll have a pilsner." " Yes sir." " Who was that?" "New waiter?" " Yes he used to be in the telephone service." " Really?" " He was dismissed, little trouble with an SS man." " Oh yes." " Excuse me." " All ready for tonight, sir." " Shh, not so loud, might be a microphone hidden under the table." " You don't mean?" " No, Mr. Elstead, I don't mean." "We are perfectly safe here." " Look what's just come in." " And I wasn't allowed to bring my sister." " Who's the girl?" " I'm sorry professor, I did my best, but..." " But someone else did better." "I understand." " Hi, allow me to present Professor Smith." "Prof, this is Ludmilla." "A poem from little old New York." " How do you do?" "I'd no idea you were so interested in modern poetry," "Mr. Maxwell." "Won't you sit down?" " Yes, I'd like to..." " No, thank you very much Prof." "See you presently." " Well gentlemen, I regret you were unnecessarily called to this rendezvous." " Nothing doing tonight, sir?" " On account of Mr. Maxwell's regrettable preoccupation with American poetry, there will be nothing doing tonight." "But we meet at the excavations tomorrow." "You can have my beer." "Goodnight." " Goodnight Prof." " After route over the Alps, where did you go then?" "No no, I'm very interested." " Well, I'll tell you, see..." " Forgive me for interrupting, but haven't I seen you somewhere before?" " Sure, tonight at the Embassy." " Of course, how silly of me." " Well Prof if you'll excuse us we're gonna dance." " We've done quite enough dancing for one night." " Oh you should've seen her." "Why she's as light on her feet as a butterfly on a daffodil." " Not a very happy simile." "When daffodils are in season, butterflies are mere grubs." " Oh, Prof, that's hardly complimentary." " But scientifically accurate." "As I rather expected the professor would be." " Thank you." " Could you be an angel and get my handbag?" "I must have left it in the car." " Well I..." " Please?" " Okay." " Well." "We seem to be alone." " So we do." "Your friend's been telling me all sorts of flattering things about you." " Has he?" "I hope you didn't believe them." " Well, I prefer to judge for myself." " Oh, then I must be on my best behavior." "I should hate you to leave here with the wrong impression." " I should hate to leave with the wrong impression." " Naturally, naturally." " Who's the girl?" " I don't know who she is, he wouldn't come away without her." " But you were with her all evening?" " But I don't know who she is." " I looked everywhere, it isn't there." " What isn't there?" " Her handbag." " But it's here." "It's been there all the time." "Goodnight." " Goodnight." " What a very strange man." " A swell guy." "But vague." " I wouldn't have said vague." " What, going already Professor?" " Dvorak, you see my impulsive young American friend over there?" " I see him." " You see the mysterious young woman with him?" " I see her." " Be a good fellow and investigate." " What do you think?" " I don't think anything but I'd like to know." "Goodnight." " Goodnight, Professor." " Thank you, sir." " I think you've made a mistake, this is my room." "Aren't you being rather unwise?" " I want to talk to you." " I dare say you do but this is neither the time nor the place." " Don't worry, no one saw me come into the room." " Then let's hope no one sees you go out." "Goodnight." " No." "You've got to listen to me." "I am rather desperate and I do need your help." "You may not believe a word I say, but before I leave this room you will believe." " Now my dear young lady, I do wish you..." " No no please don't say anything until you've heard me." "Do you know of a Polish paper called Freedom?" " I am familiar with it, yes." " Have you heard of its editor, Sidimir Koslowski?" " Yes." " Some weeks ago he came to Berlin for material." "He was arrested." " Yes, he would be." " They put him in a concentration camp." " They would." " He happens to be my father." " Hmm." " I received a cable in New York which I believed was from him, begging me to come at once." "It wasn't from him, it was from the gestapo." "They had been trying to force him to give the names of his journal associates, but he wouldn't speak." "Nothing they could do would make him speak." "So they hit on the idea of getting me over to persuade him." " And did you?" " You don't know my father." "He's fearless, unshakable." "No two people were ever closer than he and I." "He filled my life with love and tenderness." "He's wonderful." "That's why I don't care what I do to earn his freedom." "There's nothing, nobody I wouldn't sacrifice for that." "I think he's worth it." " He must be." " He is." "So I made a bargain with Graum." "He promised to let my father go if I helped him find the man who has been responsible for all these escapes." " And have you?" " Yes." "But I don't want to be forced to give him away." " Why not?" " Because I admire what he's doing." " Why are you telling me all this?" " You are that man." " What dreadful nonsense you do talk." " I guessed it the moment I saw you, and the admiration of that boy David convinced me." "You and your party were near the frontier post when Karl Planker escaped." "Your diggings were only a few miles from the concentration camp where a scarecrow came to life." "You are that man, I know it." "Aren't you?" "Tell me." " Well won't that be enough for tonight?" " Tell me." " I know you're quite harmless but please, please go." " Before I go, you've got to choose." "Either you help my father to escape or I go straight to the gestapo and tell them what I know." " Very well, go there quickly." "I hope they'll prove less skeptical than I." "What on earth are you crying for?" "What have I done?" "You brought this all on yourself." "I didn't ask you to come here." "I am horrified at the idea of a strange woman in my rooms, and a woman in tears at that." "Or are they tears?" "Yes, they are." "Well they don't have any effect on me, believe me." "Here, mop 'em up with that, you look awful." "And don't you try any more fairy tales with me." "Here, you've forgotten your..." "Have you noticed a delightful smell everywhere this morning?" " You mean the egg?" " Everything smells delightful to me, but of course you wouldn't understand that, Mr. Maxwell." " You're sure you feel alright, Prof?" " I feel splendid, thank you." "Now Dvorak, tell me, why are you here so early in the morning?" " You asked me to get you some information about a certain young lady." " So I did." " Well I've got it." "In the first place her name isn't Coles at all, it's Koslowski." "In the second place, she's..." " Don't tell me any more." "Now I feel even better." " What is all this?" "Trailing a girl with whom I've a luncheon date." " Have you?" " Sure." " Good." "That'll save me a telephone call." " Prof, I don't get it." " Exactly." "You made the same mistake I did." "The trouble with us, Mr. Maxwell, is that we don't understand women." "We've even forgotten they use powder on their faces." " Monsieur." "Can I help you?" " Are you French?" " Yes." " You're not German?" " No, I'm still French." "This is a French shop, you see." " A French oasis in a German desert." " What can I do for you, monsieur?" " Oh yes, yes." "Powder." " Powder?" " Powder, yes, I'd like some powder." " Certainly, but what kind of powder." "Bath, tooth, talcum?" "Face?" " Face, face." " Any special make?" " I beg your pardon?" " Which make would you prefer?" " Well I, what would you suggest?" " I always use Dory." " Do you?" " Always." " I'll have some of that." " You won't regret it." "What shade?" " Well what shades have you got?" " I'm afraid all that's rather beyond me." "I'll be back tomorrow." " Monsieur." "What is she like?" " Well, I really don't quite remember, she's sort of..." " What's her coloring?" " Dark." " I know what you want." "You take this." " I'll have a pound of that." " A pound?" "That will last a lifetime." "This is the biggest box I've got." " Alright, I'll have two of those." " Two?" "Very well." " Don't bother to wrap it up, I'll just take it the way it is." "Thank you." "How much is that?" " That will be 42 marks, monsieur." " 42 marks." " Thank you." "Will you allow me?" " Born in France?" " Born in France." " It's remarkable." "Goodbye." " Goodbye." " Hello Prof, been to a wedding?" " Good morning Mr. Maxwell." "Good morning." "I hope you'll forgive me for having invited myself to luncheon." " Certainly fine that you are here." " Yours, I believe." " What's this?" " Your handbag." " Thank you." " Yes I would have run after you last night but unfortunately everything fell and scattered all over the place." " I reached home before I realized I had left it behind." " Say, when did all this happen?" " As a matter of fact your powder was spilt too and I bought you some to make up for it." " Needn't have bothered." " Oh it was no bother at all, there." " Oh, my favorite shade." "How did you know?" " Intuition." " What's going on?" "First you're darn rude to each other and now look at this." " Well now to business, where's the menu?" "By the way, whose luncheon is this?" " Mine." " No it's not, it's mine." " So's the bill." " Mr. Maxwell, if you heard that a very remarkable man had been imprisoned by the Nazis, what would you do?" " My damndest to get him out." " Isn't that amazing?" "Every now and then he and I have exactly the same idea." " Could I have some water please?" " Certainly not." "Dvorak!" "Some champagne." " What kind of champagne?" " Oh, dash it, I've had this conversation before." "Any kind." "Raschel." "Natural." "The best you have, only hurry." " I don't know what to say to you." "Can't quite believe it's true." " Suppose we have some nice cold trout to start with." "And we'll follow that with..." " I don't even know where they've taken him." "No one knows except the gestapo." " He's at Grosberg." "What's this?" "Milk-fed lamb cooked in creme de menthe?" "The things they think of." " She's being watched every minute." "There's the report." " Went up to his room." "Enterprising." " In my opinion she's wasting her time." " Yes, the question is is she wasting ours?" "This idiotic archaeologist." "Lunch lasted two hours, conversation appeared friendly and animated, he presented her with a box of powder." "How gallant." "How helpful love is." "I don't know what the gestapo would do without it." "This is all nonsense." "Alright, show her in." "Ah, good day Miss Coles." "Sit down." "You're looking very radiant, it must be love." " I'm afraid not, even though I did go to his room last night." " Room, whose room?" " The professor's." "Didn't you know?" "As a new recruit I made sure I would be followed." " Quite so." "But we like to get our news at first hand." " Very well, here it is at first hand." "You were right and I was wrong." "That professor's crazy, and so was I to think that he's your famous rescuer." " So much for your intuition, eh?" " I made a mistake, and I'm afraid I made rather a fool of myself." " Well, Rome wasn't built in a day, even by Mussolini." "And secret agents aren't made in a night." "You did your best." " And our bargain still stands?" " Oh but of course." "I've given you my word as a party member, isn't that enough?" " More than enough." " You shall have another assignment." "There are several persons I suspect." " You are very kind." "Be kinder still and tell me something." "How is my father?" " Well I'll find out for you." "Let me see, he's at..." " At Grosberg." " Of course." "Bring in the Koslowski file." "Would you like to see your father?" " More than anything." "You don't mean it, that wasn't in our bargain." " I wanted to give you a little encouragement." " I'd be so grateful if you would." " Thank you." "Hmm." "He appears to be in excellent health." " Is he?" " Oh, a transfer order." "He's being moved to a more comfortable camp." " Will I be able to see him there?" " Well I don't see why not." "Excuse me." "Hello?" "Alright." "I'll be over straight away." "Excuse me, I'll be back in a moment." "Well my dear young lady, I'm very busy at the moment but I'll be sending for you again shortly, and I hope you and your father will be together again very soon." "Goodbye." " Thank you, goodbye." " Marx!" "I didn't believe her Marx, I didn't believe her, but I do now." "That idiotic archaeologist." " Sir?" " But we've got to have proof." " But we've absolutely nothing against him." " You'll see my dear fellow, you'll see." " Now if you'd said the Earl of Meadowbrook..." " On Saturday morning I've got a job for you at Grosberg." "And in the afternoon I shall be there myself." "To be in at the kill as the English say." "Have a chocolate." " I found out something." "Something which might be of use to you, look I made a note of it." "My father's being transferred from Grosberg to Riesenfelt on Saturday afternoon with four other men." " Who are they?" " Schulman, Fleck." " Gruber and Holstein, that makes five altogether." " Yes, how did you know?" " Nevermind, go on." "They're leaving Grosberg by car at 4:30 and arriving at Risenfelt at about 6." " Now we're getting someplace." "Wouldn't that be our chance, Prof?" "Saturday afternoon?" " Possibly, yes." " Say, this is terrific." "Where are those maps?" "Do you mind if I try to work this out, Prof?" " Not at all." " Thanks." "Now here's Riesenfelt and here's Grosberg." "That's about 60 miles, say 45 miles per hour starting 4:30." "Now we're parked on this road here somewhere." " Look, there's a road at the bottom of the hill there." " Yeah, they'll be going through that wood about 5:15." " Yes, we can get a tree across the road there, that ought to hold them up for long enough." " Yeah, then we can scoot down this side road here and catch the main road to Berlin here!" "How's that, Prof?" " Sounds alright." " Why surprise is the principal element, surprise." " If only you could do something." " Don't worry, we will." " Well, if I can't be of any more use to you," "I'll leave you, my taxi's ticking away." " Goodbye." "Thank you for coming, you've done very well." " Goodbye." " I'll show you the way." " Say, where's she going?" " It's too late, you missed your chance." " Say how's that for the plan, Prof?" " What plan?" " The plan of the escape." " Gentlemen, Mr. Maxwell was serious about this plan!" " But we'll never get another chance like this." " Possibly that's exactly what the gestapo wanted you to think." " Those guys gotta be saved." "Something's gotta be done Saturday." " On the contrary, if we do anything it'll be on Friday." " Friday?" " But you said Saturday was the day..." " Look Prof what I found." "Is it any use?" " Any use?" "This is remarkable." " Say listen Prof, my plan!" " 1000 BC, I should think." "Never dreamt at anything like this here." "Wait til Oxford University hear about this, they'll be green with envy." " My plan, Prof!" " Oh, this is astonishing, really astonishing." "Thank you Mr. Elstead, thank you." " 48 hours and he hasn't uttered a word." " Do you think he's thought of anything?" " Let's ask him." "Say Prof, I hate to interrupt the seance, but have you thought of anything yet?" " Thought of anything?" " That guy Koslowski's gotta be rescued!" " Oh yes, of course." "That guy Koslowski's gotta be rescued on Friday, and four other guys with him." " What, all five of them?" " Well of course." " Jeepers creepers." " As a matter of fact I have thought of something." " Yeah?" " Yes." "Have any of you gentlemen ever considered journalism as a profession?" " Hey, listen..." " No no no no, you listen." " I'm getting them now." "Alright, here they are." "I've tapped the private line." " Go to it, fellow." " Propaganda Ministry?" "Gestapo headquarters speaking." "Department X2." "About those six American journalists." "We are permitting their visit to Grosberg." "The journalists who wish to accompany Herr Voldenschatz." "Your representative of the Bund." "What do you mean you don't know?" "Then find out." " Hey, take it easy there." " Heil Hitler." " You wish to see?" " I've seen." "Heil Hitler." " No visitors except by appointment." " How long have you been here?" "You don't know me?" "Ever heard of the American department?" " Yes sir, I thought..." " Don't apologize, see if you can find my umbrella," "I left it behind the other day." "Voldenschatz is the name." " Excuse me." " Well, just the man I wanted to see." "You don't recognize me, but I remember you." "I heard Dr. Goebbels say some very nice things about you." " So?" " So keep it to yourself." "How's the baby?" " We're getting married at the end of the month." " So." "Now, how 'bout the six American journalists?" " What about them?" " I'm asking you." "You don't know anything about it, get me someone who does." " Perhaps Herr Gravitz would know." " Gravitz should know." "Now look here Herr Gravitz." " Do you know anything of six American journalists?" " No." "Yes, Smeltz was just asking me." "There was a message from the gestapo." " Who's the head of the department?" " Oh, Herr Steinhof, but he wouldn't know." " We'll see." " Here!" " Now look here, Stelnhof, where are the permits for the six American journalists?" " Permits?" " Yes." "Don't you say hell Hitler anymore?" " Heil Hitler." " Heil Hitler." " I don't think I know you." " What do you know?" "Have you ever heard of America?" " Yes." " Good, then where are the permits?" " But I..." " Now listen." "I'm Voldenschatz." "The man who got the Nazi party those nice headlines in America where they don't like you." "I'm the man who put the Nazi American bund on the map, and you've never even heard of me." "Let this be a lesson to you, gentlemen." " But..." " No no no, let me speak." "I've come all the way from New York to correct your blunders with the American correspondents." "I spent two whole weeks with them, trying to nurse them into a better humor." "This afternoon I was taking them to the Grosberg camp so they could cable the United States and tell them not to believe those stories they hear about the German concentration camps, and you've got to spoil everything." "I asked for permits and you haven't got any permits." " No one told me anything about this." " The gestapo did telephone." " Oh, so now you're deliberately obstructing the gestapo?" " That'd be the last thing I'd do." "Perhaps if you came back tomorrow..." " Tomorrow?" "Do you want me to keep the representatives of six of the biggest newspapers in America waiting outside this building until tomorrow?" "Unless I get those permits in two minutes, you'll be responsible." " I'll be responsible?" " Right!" "I know what I'll do." "Get me Dr. Goebbels." " No, no, Herr Voldenschift, shaft." "I'll find the permits." " Well find them, find them." " There are some here, sir." " That's better, now you can fill them up as we go." " As we go?" " Certainly, didn't I say?" "You're coming with us." " No no, I have work to do here." " Oh, this is too much, please, get me Dr. Goebbels." " No no no, I can finish the work at home." " That's right, we've been waiting long enough, come along." "Come along." "You know, the trouble with you propaganda boys, you get so used to telling lies, you don't recognize the truth when you hear it." " Well orders are orders." " Hmm." "Heil Hitler." " Heil Hitler." " You know Gravitz, you're a smart boy." " Thank you, sir." " Yes, you can do something for me." "Ring up the Grosberg camp and tell them we're on the way." "Have them prepare everything in the usual" "Ministry of Propaganda style." "And remember, America is a soft-hearted democracy." "You get me?" " Leave that to me, Herr Voldenschatz." " Your umbrella, sir." " Oh, umbrella." "Thank you." "Dirty boots." " The journalists are just arriving," "Herr Kommandant." " Heil Hitler." " Heil Hitler." " I'm Steinhof of the Ministry of Propaganda." "This is Herr Voldenschatz from Nazi American bund." " I am honored." " Heil Hitler." "Allow me to present to you the Chicago Tribune," "Baltimore Sun, New York Herald Tribune, Boston Transcript," "Philadelphia Public Ledger, and the Scripps Howard Syndicate." "350 newspapers throughout America, colossal." " 349." " I beg your pardon, I love accuracy." " Welcome, gentlemen." "Let me show you around our little camp." "You will see how happy everybody is." " Come on, do your propaganda stuff." "You can talk, can't you?" " You see gentlemen, there is plenty of food." "Eggs, vegetables, bread, butter, jam, and fruit." " Real fruit." " Atten Hut!" "Is everybody happy?" " Yes sir." " Everybody's happy." "The eggs were fresh for breakfast?" " Yes, Herr Kommandant." " The eggs were fresh." " For breakfast." " Good." "In this hut, we have some men who were stupid enough to insult our beloved Fuhrer." "The editor of an anarchist Polish paper, and four misguided German contributors." "Hut!" " Well, I'm glad you've all learnt the truth." "In America they have the idiotic idea that German concentration camps are full of unhappy people." "And the truth is the American people only pretend to be democratic." "At heart they are 100% national socialists." "I thank you." "Heil Hitler." "Well, goodbye Voldenschatz." "You were the quintessence of all the most objectionable men" "I ever met, but you served a noble purpose." " I don't often lose my nerve, but can't we get on?" " Alright, he's just coming." "He's just been to telephone to make sure it's clear for you to go to your destination." " Ah." " All fixed." " Halt, left turn!" "All ready for visiting rounds, sir?" " I'm ready, carry on Sergeant." " Left turn, march!" "Visiting rounds." "Get up." " What are they doing down there?" "Stir them up, Sergeant." " Get up!" "It's the Herr Kommandant!" " Herr Kommandant?" "Bring that light a bit closer." "What's happened, sir?" "He's unconscious." "Someone must have hit him on the head." "Herr Kommandant." "Herr Kommandant." "Why didn't you know about this, you fool?" " Oh gee." "Oh boy." "My head's like the inside of a beehive." "Talk about pile drivers." "Woo." " What's happened?" " Journalist slugged by guerrillas!" "American flag insulted!" "Where's that phony Voldenschatz?" "He started it!" " Alarm bell!" "Turn out the guard." "Telephone Berlin!" "Gentlemen, my apologies, I don't understand." "I'll get you a car to take you to Berlin." " Voldenschatz!" " Ah, you oughta be pasted to the wall." "Here, snap out of it fellas and get into these pants." " The gentleman, who could forsee it?" "The gestapo telephoned!" " Ah, you give me five minutes with a trans Atlantic telephone and there won't be gestapo." " Gentlemen, I apologize." " Ah, save it!" "(clamoring}" " How could a simple sort of man like myself imagine that instead of attempting to rescue your father" "Tomorrow as I expected you to do after you had so carefully examined my papers, you would rescue him today?" " What do you mean?" "What do you mean?" " Your acting is very clever, but I'm getting a little bored with it." "Your accomplice may have rescued your father, but please remember that you are still here." " My father's escaped?" " Yes, astounding, isn't it?" " Herr Reich Minister, Steinhof is here." " Bring him in." "Take her in there." "Good evening." "And you are the man who has just been bluffed by this obvious hoax?" " The gestapo must hold itself responsible." " For what?" "For the incompetence and stupidity of the" "Ministry of Propaganda?" "Voldenschatz." "Couldn't any of you have checked up on his story?" " We are not policemen." " Unfortunately." "Would you recognize the man if you saw him again?" " I have an excellent memory for faces, thank you." " I may give you an opportunity to prove it before long." "Marx!" "Ah, Marx, that archaeologist." " Professor Smith?" " Yes, Professor Smith, I want to see him here at once." "Bring him!" " But he's..." " Do you want me?" "Did you want to see me?" " Yes." " That's odd, because I wanted to see you." " Come in here." " Thank you." "I'm so lad to find you're not busy because" "I've been doing a little research work." " That's just what I wanted to do." " On the identity of Shakespeare." " I'd like to know how you spent this afternoon?" " What's the matter with you?" "You seem upset." "I spent the afternoon at the library at the Embassy." "Now this, this proves conclusively that Shakespeare wasn't really Shakespeare at all." " No?" " No." "He was the Earl of Oxford." "Now you can't pretend that the Earl of Oxford was a German, can you?" "Now, can you?" " No, no." " Well, there you are." " Herr General, how much longer am I to stand here?" "Have you anything to say to me?" " Please, we have a visitor." "I think you have met Professor Smith." " No, good day." "Goodbye." " But you have met Herr Voldenschatz." " Voldenschatz?" "Do you know Voldenschatz?" " No." "Should I?" " Bah." "Anyway, I didn't come here to discuss Shakespeare." "If you want me, you know where I am." " The Earl of Oxford was a very bright Elizabethan light, but this book will tell you he was a good deal more than that." " I owe you an apology, Professor." "Can you spare me a few moments longer?" " With pleasure." " Here's somebody who will recognize you." "Come in, Miss Coles." " Ah." "The young lady who asks questions." " But doesn't answer them." "Professor Smith." "That was a remarkable affair this afternoon." " Oh, have I missed something?" " Five prisoners escaped from Grosberg." " Oh splendid, splendid." "Oh, I beg your pardon, how annoying for you." " By a strange coincidence, Miss Coles' father was among them." " Well, congratulations Miss Coles." " Just so." "A few days ago this young lady called here and obtained some secret information." "She then went straight to your excavations." " Well why not?" "We welcome visitors." "You must come one day." " Do you deny having received that information?" " Really, General von Graum." " Because if the person who received it is not punished, the person who gave it will be." "Well, Miss Coles?" "Which is it to be?" " What exactly do you want to know?" " Just the name of the person to whom you gave that information." " I gave it to no one." " Then you will be court marshaled tomorrow on a charge of espionage, and you know that for that there is only one penalty in German law." " What's that?" " The state execution of..." " Oh yes, of course." "I'd forgotten, you've gone back to the ax of the Middle Ages." " But we wear modern dress." "White gloves, white tie." " White waistcoat?" "The dress of an English gentleman at a dinner, a French gentleman at a weddin, and a German gentleman..." " Yes, Herr Professor?" " At a murder." " That's good, Herr Professor, I must remember that." "Excuse me." " Hold on." "My dear child, to a man of peace like myself all this seems incredible." "But in your own interest if you do know anything, wouldn't it be wiser to speak?" " Take her away." " May I say a word?" "General von Graum, you appear to regard me with some suspicion." "First of all you confront me with an individual who is supposed to identify me as something or other but refuses to do so." "Next you threaten the life of this young lady on the presumption that I shall make a gallant gesture and declare myself as this fellow you want." "But I'm not in a position to do that." " I see." "Go on." " Well, after such a procession of disappointments, you surely cannot intend to commit the crowning folly of cutting off your chief source of information." "In the absence of any hint of subtlety, it doesn't surprise me that this rescuer has been so successful." "Still, it's no concern of mine, I just came here to talk about Shakespeare." "Perhaps you'd care to read about the Earl of Oxford." "I do wish it were in my power to help you." "Well, goodbye." " Professor." "You should have been a detective." " Me?" "Oh, thank you." " Alright Miss Coles, you can go." " Does that mean I'm free?" " For the moment, yes." "Perhaps the professor would care to see you home." " Oh dear." "I'm afraid I'm a very poor escort." "Well, allow me." "I hope you won't regret taking my advice." " I shan't." " Why did you let her go?" " It's not her I want, you fool, it's him." "That man, with his English superiority, seems to be mocking at our greater German world power." "And I've got to get him." "Got to!" " Yes, Herr Reich Minister." " How are you feeling?" " Alright." " No, don't ask me any questions." "We are not alone." "Ah." "How about a glass of wine?" "You need it." " But if my father's safe, why can't I go to him?" " Because we want to keep him safe." " Is he in Berlin?" " The fewer people who know where he is, the better." "Here, drink your wine, it'll do you good." "Excuse me." "You like music?" " No." " Good." "Enjoy yourself." "Waiter?" " Sir?" " Take some wine with my compliments to that unhappy looking fellow over there." " Very good, sir." "Cigarette?" " Is that him?" " That's him." "I've given him wine and music, and I'm afraid that's all I can do for him." " I think you're the bravest man I've ever met." " You mustn't exaggerate, especially after your own remarkable courage." " But if you've no fear for yourself, what about those who depend on you?" " Nobody does." "I'm a bachelor." " I wonder why." " Well I'll tell you a secret." "Years ago I fell in love." "And I've been in love ever since." " Is she pretty?" " Not pretty." "Divinely beautiful." " Is she English?" " No, she's Greek." "Would you like to see her photo?" "I always carry one with me." " But that's..." " Aphrodite Kallipygos." "The perfect woman." "I found her at Lesbos." "Ours is an ideal relationship, you know." "They say no woman compares with her physical perfection." "And as for her mental equipment, well, I try to supply that." " Do you never wish she could come to life?" " I've always thought that would be most unsatisfactory." "In fact during the last few days, suddenly she's become less real to me." "Just marble." "It's a pity." " Oh." " Well, I think we better be going now." "And in opposite directions, I'm afraid." "You better go first, alone." "Now I want you to trust me implicitly." "It's going to be hard, but whatever happens, you mustn't get in touch with us or try to see us." "This is going to be a battle of nerves." "We're going to be watched day and night, but you must trust me to the end." " I will." "I will, whatever happens." " Don't worry." "I promise you I won't leave Germany without you." " Give my love to father, and keep some for yourself." "Goodbye." " A week." "A whole week, and what has happened?" "Nothing to report, nothing to report." "The girl has been to a hairdresser, and he has kept digging." "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "What's his game?" "I can't stand this waiting any longer!" " Say Prof, we've dug up half of Germany." "What do we do now?" " Dig up the other half." " Thank you." "All that's for the Berlin Museum." " Thank you, I am most grateful." " Not at all." "You've been most helpful, Doctor." " I wish I could do more." "One has to be careful." " I know." "Thank you." "What are you doing with that?" " Just bringing a little sunshine into their lives." " Well give them my love." " What's the matter?" " The gestapo!" " Where?" "Alright." " This is where I go to work." " Go on, hurry up." " Oh David, I wanted to ask you..." " Shh." "Gestapo." " Professor Smith?" " Come along, please." " You must excuse my coming unannounced, but you did invite me." "I brought some of my boys." " Delighted." "Well, what a large family." " You don't mind their taking a look around?" "They're so interested in your operation." " Not at all." "Make yourselves at home, gentlemen." "You know Dr. Fulroth of the Berlin Museum?" " Heil Hitler." " Heil Hitler." " Dr. Fulroth is making a catalog of the relics which your government is permitting us to take back to England." " Professor Smith's discoveries have been quite remarkable." "And he's been most generous in his gifts to our museum." " So." " Yes, you'll be surprised what we've discovered about an Aryan civilization." " What's in there?" " Relics, pottery, weapons." " Here?" " Same thing." " And here?" " A man." " Hmm?" " A dead man." "Would you like to see him?" "There we are." "Buried with all his weapons, you see." "Presumably in the belief that there might be a rearmament program in the hereafter." "Eh, Mr. Spencer?" "An ancient tutor." "Alas, poor Yorrick." "Get thee to my lady's chamber, my dear General." "Tell her though she paint an inch thick, to this favor must she come." "Make her laugh at that." "The Earl of Oxford wrote that, you'll remember." " Herr Reich Minister." "No." " No?" " No." " So." " What, going already?" "Then we'd better say goodbye, for we shall be leaving ourselves in the morning." " Whew." "It's okay boys, they've gone." " Well never get out of here, never." "They'll watch us day and night." " Take it easy, buddy." " The professor won't fail us, we'll get away alright." " Yes, but how?" " Packed in bran and marked fragile." " Changing guard sir." " All present and correct." " What are you taking so much care of?" " Red herrings." " Hmm?" " Red herrings." " Well, what did he say?" " He's gone, fraulein." " Gone?" " Yes, he left for England on the 10:30 train this morning." "They've all gone." " But he can't have." " But it's true." "I spoke to the hall porter who put their luggage on the taxi." "They've gone alright." " Thank you." " Miss Koslowski." "Get out." "Sit down." "I require some information which only you can give me." " Where are we now?" " We're nearly at Felden Kirschen sir." " And what's the exact time?" "2:47." "Means we're four minutes late." " Good." "Not very long to wait." "You all know what to do?" " Oh yes sir." " Two hours to the frontier." "And with ordinary luck, gentlemen, our last adventure will be successfully concluded." "In case there's no opportunity to do so later," "I want to tell you now that your conduct throughout, in spite of occasional fits of lunacy, has been most exemplary." "I do hope the trip has proved instructive." " It has, sir." " I suppose we shall all be meeting again pretty soon at Cambridge, sir?" " I wonder." "I have an idea that our country may have more important work for us." "Anyway, I do thank you all." "You, Steve." " Goodbye, sir." " And you, Herbert." " Bertie, sir." " Bertie." " And Jock and..." " Clarence." " Clarence, of course, yes." "And David." " How did you remember all those names, sir?" " Excuse the familiarity, Mr. Maxwell." "Oh by the way, I owe you an apology." "I did my best at Cambridge to prevent your joining this expedition." "I admit now that would have been a mistake." "Oh." "Allow me to return to you your bones." " Take care of yourself, Prof." " I will." "Now gentlemen, I'm just going to take a little nap." "Meanwhile, do your stuff." " Sure." " Goodnight." " Goodnight sir." " Goodnight sir." " That's the signal." " Excuse me." "One of us is gonna move, pal, and it isn't gonna be me." " This is it." " We'll never get through, never." "We don't stand a chance." " We'll all get through." "We are in good hands." " I'm a bit nervous myself, Koslowski." " Not Koslowski here, please." " When we enter Poland, they won't be long now, the restoration of order scheme B is to be put into operation immediately, understand?" "In Holland, Denmark, and..." " Reich Minister?" " Don't bother me." " A report from the train, sir." "The professor is asleep." " Oh, the professor's asleep." " And the students are guarding the packing cases." " Don't bother." "Did you say packing cases?" " Yes sir." "They had permits to take..." " Packing cases, precisely." " Train's coming in, get ready there." " Turn out those cases as soon as she stops." " Where is he?" " Here he is." " Oh." "Are we here yet?" " That's not him." " You idiot, what have you been doing?" " What are you guys looking for?" " Professor Smith." "We've a warrant for his arrest." " Well, you'll be unlucky, he's not here." " Excuse me, but I saw a very suspicious character just now." " Where was he?" " In there." "But it's not a he, it's a she." " You old fool!" "Telephone headquarters right away!" " David, those sons are breaking open our crates!" " What?" " Yes madam, give me your passport please, thank you." "Cooks party, cooks party, passports please, all your passports, cooks party." "I want your passports please." "Passports, anymore passports?" "Cooks party." " Say, what is it?" "We've a government permit to clear these cases unopened!" " Keep your mouth shut!" " Excuse me, excuse me." "Please." "I wish to make a complaint." " Pass along, please." " I've been grossly insulted." " I'm sorry." "Pass along please." " And manhandled!" " Madam, please, don't you see the officer's busy?" " It's disgraceful!" "I'm a married woman." "And in 30 years of married life I have never been manhandled." " What can I do about it?" "Alright, take your away." " Alright, come along, Cooks party, this way please." " It's an outrage!" "I shall report it!" " Thank you." " Bits of stone." " What did you expect?" "Ostrich feathers?" " Aren't you gentlemen with the Cooks party?" " Sure." "Sure we are." " Well come along gentlemen, come along." "The rest of the party's already across the frontier." " You." "But I didn't expect." " I told you I'd come back for you." " But, but I thought..." " That I'd forgotten my promise?" " No." "Yes." "Graum's been here for hours." "I don't know." "They never left me alone." "They said you'd gone away." "They said my father'd been arrested again." "They never stopped asking questions!" "They never stopped talking!" " Your father's safely across the frontier." " Oh." "Is he?" " Quite safe." " What have I done?" "You'll never forgive me for what I've done?" " I'll never forgive you if you don't put on your coat." "We haven't much time you know." " Yes but in the end you see I did tell them things." "They tricked me into them." "I didn't know what to do." "It seemed the only way to save my father." "They said they'd shoot him!" " So of course you told them." "You're so human." "They haven't wasted much time." " Why did you come back?" " Tell me, is there any other way out of this house except the front door?" " Yes, the back door, and the fire escape." "Why did you come back?" " Because I said I would." "Come here." "Here, put this on." "Yes." " Open up there, come on, hurry up." "Out of the way." "Locked." "Open up, open up!" " They've gone." "The fire escape!" "Come with me." "You go down and bring the car around to the back." "Wireless the headquarters, they can't have got far." "Come on." " Well I'm almost ashamed to have used that old trick." "But it nearly always works." " What do we do now?" " Now, in the immortal words of Mr. Maxwell, we scram." "Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe." " Any news?" " Not yet sir." " I will not be beaten by that archaeologist!" "It's a matter of personal honor!" " I can assure you, Herr Reich Minister, that every train is being checked and every frontier watched." "He can't get away." "In a few moments I shall be able to give you some definite information." " Well see to it." "I'll get him myself, understand?" "Myself!" " When do we get there?" " About 25 minutes." " And then?" " Then, England." " England." "I've never been to England." " Well there are varying opinions about it." "There was an Englishman named Rupert Brook who was also in Germany when he said," ""God I will pack and take a train," ""and get me to England once again," ""for England's the one land I know" ""where men with splendid hearts may go."" "And women with splendid hearts too." " Good morning, Professor Smith." " Good morning." " Will you come with me?" " What for?" " I have orders to detain you." " I'm coming too." " No madam, your train is waiting." "Take this lady through the barrier." " I won't go without you." " I shall be alright." "Go straight to Montalier, Hotel Excelsior." "Your father's waiting for you." " But you, can you manage?" " I shall do my best." "Hurry now, your train is waiting." "Au revoir." " Au revoir." " This way please." "In here please, Professor." " Well, professor of archaeology." " Well, captain of murderers?" " You won't mind spending a few minutes with me until our special train arrives?" " I take it I have no choice." " Very little." " This must be a big moment for you." " A minor satisfaction." "I wanted to get you out of my system before" "I turn my mind to more important matters." "You have become a great nuisance to me, Professor." "Almost an obsession." "But everything comes to an end." " What particular end did you plan for me?" " Need we go into details?" "At least it'll be quick." " But violent, I suppose." "A strange end for one who despises violence." "At the hands of those who worship it." "The new German god." " Of course we worship it." "Violence means power, and power crushes opposition!" "The epoch of the council chamber is over, Herr Professor." "I tell you that power and strength and violence will rule the world!" " Why are you sweating, my dear General?" "It isn't very warm." "Are you afraid of something?" " Afraid." "We Germans fear nothing." " Ah." "Because you have a pistol." " Yes." "I have a pistol." "It has eight bullets." "Eight lives." " And I have 28 lives." " Oh?" " Scientists, men of letters, artists, doctors." "28 saved from your pig and pistol." "And all you've got is my humble self." "Not a very profitable transaction." " We can afford to make a loss." "Our profits will be tremendous." "Tonight we march against Poland." "And tomorrow will see the dawn of a new order." "We shall make a German empire of the world!" "Why do I talk to you?" "You are a dead man." " May a dead man say a few words to you, General, for your enlightenment?" "You will never rule the world." "Because you are doomed." "All of you who have demoralized and corrupted a nation are doomed." "Tonight you will take the first step along a dark road from which there is no turning back." "You will have to go on and on, from one madness to another, leaving behind you a wilderness of misery and hatred." "And still you will have to go on, because you will find no horizon, and see no dawn," "until at last you are lost and destroyed." "You are doomed, captain of murderers, and one day, sooner or later, you will remember my words." "(train whistle blows}" " Stop!" "Come back." "You were never nearer death than at that moment." " How could one die better than waving goodbye to a friend?" " Alright, take charge of him." "Take him under that lamp where I can see him." " Herr Reich Minister, be careful." "He's only to step past the barrier, across the frontier." " That's exactly what I want him to do." " Ah." "Shot while trying to escape." " And by me." "By me." "Alright, get out." "I will protect you myself, Professor." " Would you care for an English cigarette, General?" "It might steady your nerves." " My nerves are perfectly steady." " They don't appear to be." "Just an old fashioned match." "There's rather a valuable relic at your feet, General." "May I pick it up to preserve it for the future?" " No." "I will." " How careless of them to have overlooked it." "It's charming, isn't it?" "It proves, among other things, the complete nonexistence of an early Aryan civilization in this country." " Silence!" " Herr Reich Minister!" " Get back!" "Who called you?" "Come back!" " Don't worry, I shall be back." "We shall all be back."