"[exotic instrumental music]" "♪ ♪ both: ♪ Oh... ♪" "♪ Mama's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin' ♪" "♪ Mama's little baby loves short'nin'... ♪" " ♪ Bread!" "♪" " Very nice, Clyde." "Clyde and I have a week to start a successful business for class, so we're gonna sell homemade chocolate pie!" " We've never baked before, but how hard could it be?" "Everybody loves chocolate pie." "My nana says that if they don't, you can't trust them." " What?" "Empty wrappers." "I should have known." " It wasn't me!" "I was with you the whole time." " I know, Clyde." "It was my sisters." "They're well-known chocoholics." " Mmm." " Mmm." "[all sighing] both:" "Mmm." "[baby giggles]" " Well, what are we gonna do?" "I all ready rolled out 84 pie crusts!" " We'll just replace the chocolate with something equally delicious." " Ugh!" "What the heck kind of pie is this?" "both:" "Salt and vinegar." " Gross!" " I don't get it." "It works on potato chips." " Any other ideas?" " How about we sell hugs?" "My dads say I'm a excellent hugger." " Aw, dang bird poop!" "Don't you featherbrains have somewhere else to hang out?" " Clyde, that's it!" " Bird poop?" " We can sell birdhouses!" " Oh!" "Great idea!" "But wait." "We don't know anything about woodworking." " Eh, how hard could it be?" "[pounding and whirring]" " I cant' believe I doubted us." " Ah!" "Our first resident!" "[bird chirps] [bird screams]" "[bird caws]" " How about we sell smiles?" "My dads say I have a million-dollar smile." " Well..." "[door clicks and thuds]" " $98, $99..." " Whoa!" "Where'd you get all that money, Luan?" " Did you sell laughter?" " Ha!" "Laughter?" "It's my pleasure to give that away for free." "This is from selling balloon animals." "Observe." "[whimsical piano music] [blows]" "♪ ♪" "A dog!" "Now, pick up the pace, Fido!" "It's the leash you can do!" "[laughing]" "No charge." "both:" "We'll sell balloon animals!" "How hard could it be?" "[balloon pops]" " Ah!" " Lincoln!" "Look professional!" "We've got a customer!" " Uh, I'll take the, uh, cheeseburger?" " It's a bunny rabbit." " Even better!" "It's for a girl I like." " You know, Liam, if it's for a girl, you should get her chocolate." "All my sisters love it." " Oh, cool!" "Thanks, Lincoln." " Lincoln, you just lost our only customer." " Relax, Clyde." "With this sweet product, there's gonna be plenty more." "[both snoring]" " Hey, Lincoln!" "[balloons popping]" " Ah, take cover!" " She loved the chocolate!" "We have a date this Friday!" " Oh, great!" "I guess with ten sisters," "I've learned a few things about girls." " Oh, don't be so modest." "You're like a girl guru." " Clyde, I think Liam" "I think Liam just gave us our next business idea." "both:" "How hard could it be?" " Step right up and ask the Girl Guru." "He's got the good on the gals, the facts on the females, the lowdown on the ladies." "[exotic instrumental music] [all gasping] [all speaking at once]" " Me!" "Me!" " Oh, Girl Guru," "I'm hanging out with Jordan later, and I really want it to go well." "What do girls think is fun?" " Hmm." "♪ ♪" " Hey, Lincoln, what's more fun than a Canadian microwave?" "A Dutch oven!" " [yells] [farting]" " [laughing] - [grunting]" "♪ ♪" "Dutch ovens." " Really?" " The Girl Guru has answered your question, and as you can see, many other boys await his wisdom." "You do know what you're doing, right?" " I don't know." "Why don't you ask Liam?" " [smooches]" " Hee-hee!" " And that's why you're wearing the robe and I'm wearing the fanny pack." "Who's next?" " How do I get a girl to fall for me?" " Omm..." "♪ ♪" " "And so the young knight returned Princess Taylor" ""to her tower five minutes before curfew," ""and no one was punished," ""and everything worked out great." "The end."" "Good night, sweetie." " Hey, where do you think you're going?" "More knight and horsey stories!" "♪ ♪" " You're going to need a stallion and a suit of armor." " Oh, thank you, Girl Guru." "Thank you." "Thank you." " Oh, Girl Guru," "I like this girl, but she doesn't think I'm good enough for her." "How do I change her mind?" "♪ ♪" " Dylan Cornheiser tried to hold my hand at recess." "I told him, "Learn basic chemistry, and then we'll talk"." "♪ ♪" " Simple." "Learn basic chemistry." " Oh, man, I stink at chemistry." "What about kickball?" " The Girl Guru has spoken." " Nothing makes my sister Lana happier than a frog in her pants." "Take her to a funeral." "My sister Lucy swears by it." "Roses are fine, but squirting flowers will really make her day." " "Squirting flowers... make...her...day."" "Thanks, Loud." "See you in gym." "[bell rings]" " Clyde, our business is killing it!" "I think we're looking at an "A."" "Worst-case scenario, "A" minus." " Tell me about it." "I had to triple up on fanny packs just to hold all the money we made." "[fart] - [screams] [coughing]" "You jerk!" " But the Girl Guru said you'd love a Dutch oven." " Maybe you'd love an American wedgie!" " [screaming]" " Well, you can't expect advice to work 100% of the time." "[frog croaking]" " Ew, ew, ew, ew!" "Gross!" "Get it off!" " But the Girl Guru said" " Get him, girls!" "[all growling]" " Get him!" "[all yelling]" " That is not on us." "He must have picked a bad frog." " Let's just get back to class before they come back." " Hey, Mollie, you want to go on a date with me?" " Um, yeah." " Great!" "I'm gonna need you to wear this." "Ah, there's the hearse." "We're going to a funeral." "How strong are you?" "They might need an extra pallbearer." " Ew!" "Yuck!" "Get away from me, you morbid weirdo!" "[both gulp]" " This is for you, Agnes." " Daisies are my favorite!" "Ah!" "You yokel!" "I just had my hair done." " But, Agnes, the Girl Guru said" "Hope you boys like push-ups!" " Uh, Mrs. Johnson, can I have the boys' bathroom pass?" " And I'll take the girls'." " [yelling] [explosion booms]" " I was just trying to impress you with my basic chemistry skills." " You burnt my braids, you doofus!" " He told me to do it!" " What?" "[both laughing nervously]" " Lincoln, I'm starting to lose feeling in my toes." "I think it's a panic attack." " It's okay." "Just breathe into your paper bag." " [gasps]" "Mmm." "Oops." "[chuckles]" "Wrong bag." "That was my lunch." "[inhales sharply] [inhaling and exhaling sharply] [horse neighs]" " Whoa, White Lightning, stop!" "Sadie, do you want to go to the movies?" " [screams] [horse neighs]" " Let me have the bag." "[breathing heavily]" " Lincoln, we got to get out of here." " The next time I see that Girl Guru," "I'll totally destroy him!" " Yeah, and his weird little friend too." "[quirky percussive music]" "♪ ♪ [all groan]" " Um, excuse me." "That goes in the recycling." " Clyde!" "Keep it down!" " Hey!" "It's them!" "[both scream] [all shouting indistinctly]" " Stop!" " Give them their money back." "That'll stop them." " Here!" "Take it, you wild animals!" "[all yelling]" " Huh, didn't stop them." " I know what to do." "Free hugs!" "[all yelling]" "Uh, on second thought, there may not be enough of me to go around." "[all yelling] [banging] [both panting]" " Oh, boy." "What did you two do now?" " L-L-L-Lori?" "[breathing sharply] [moaning]" " Uh, you wouldn't be interested." " Oh, we're interested." "Spill!" " Well, Clyde and I had to start a business for school, so we kind of, uh, charged boys for my advice about girls." "[all laughing]" " Go ahead; get it out of your systems." "[all laughing]" "Are you done now?" " Uh...no." "[all laughing]" "Lincoln, what do you know about girls?" " Well, I just thought that since I had ten sisters" " What's true for us isn't gonna be true for every girl." "We're not all the same." " I'm not like Lana!" " And thank goodness for that." " Oh, man, you're right." "What have I done?" "I've doled out terrible advice, and now everybody at school hates us." "How am I going to fix this?" " Uh, we better figure something out." "I'm running out of paper bags." " A kitchen full of pie?" "I guess it's ole Dad's lucky day!" "[laughs and gulps] [stomach grumbles] Ooh, bad!" " We went a little overboard on the salt." " I'll say." "It's anassault on my senses." " [laughing]" "Good one, Dad." " Ah, sorry, Lincoln." "We're just gonna have to toss the whole batch." " Toss them?" "That's a great idea, dad." "Clyde, we're back in business." "How hard can it be to start a business?" "Pretty hard, actually." "The key is to find something you're really good at, and it turns out for me that thing is... taking a pie in the face." " Step right up and get your revenge on the Girl Guru." "$2.00 a pie." "[all speaking at once]" " Great job, boys!" "This is a fantastic business idea!" " Thanks, Mrs. Johnson." " One pie, please." " And two for me." " You know, we're running a special." "Buy four and get the fifth free!" " Ah, even better." "Heck, I'll take them all!" "[cackling]" " Clyde!" " Business is business, Lincoln." "Let 'er rip!" " [gulps] [pies splatting]"