"I" "I love my house." "Everybody does." "It was built in 1895 and still has most of the original roof." "The wallpaper in the dining room is original, too." "So is a lot of the woodwork." "You'd have to be a fool to change it." "I hope you appreciate detail." "The marble fireplace is hand-carved." "The main stairs have a very gentle rise." "Everyone comments how easy it is to climb them." "I like to fill it with my friends." "Over the years, we've become more like a family." "It makes me happy to have us all together in our home." "Mine and Bobby's." "They don't build houses like this anymore." "The golden age of American house building." "Not architecture, mind you, but house building." "This house was meant to stand." "Welcome." "Make yourself at home." "# In the summertime, when the weather is high #" "# You can stretch right up and touch the sky #" "# When the weather's fine #" "# You got women, you got women on your mind #" "# Have a drink, have a drive #" "# Go out and see what you can find #" "# If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal #" "# If her daddy's poor, just do what you feel #" "# Speed along the lake, do a ton or a ton and 25 #" "# When the sun goes down #" "# You can make it, make it good in a lay-by #" "# We're not gray people, we're not dirty, we're not mean #" "# We love everybody, but we do as we please #" "# When the weather's fine #" "# We go fishing or go sailing in the sea #" "# We're always happy #" "# Life's for living, yeah, that's our philosophy #" "# Sing along with us #" "# Dee-dee-dee dee-dee #" "# Da-da da-da-da #" "# Yeah, we're hap-happy #" "# Da da da #" "# Dee-da-doo dee-da-doo da-doo da #" "# Da-doo da-da-da #" "# Da-da-da da-da #" "# All right now... #" "I" "Cunt!" "Goddamn cunt!" "Cunt!" "Goddamn cunt!" "Fuck you and your ultimate driving machine!" "Perry." "Well, they are when they drive like that." "Did you see the way she just cut right in front of me?" "Oh, are you talking to me?" "Sorry, I was reading "The life of Ray Charles." What happened?" "Some asshole whore cunt bitch dyke with New Jersey license plates and Republican candidates on her bumper practically took my fender off at 70 miles an hour." "Sounds like an extremely cunt-like maneuver, Batman." "I think you're both disgusting." "If I had any convictions, I'd ask you to let me out right here." "I was mad." "Words only mean something if you say them and you're not mad and mean them." "I agree, "Nancy Reagan is a cunt" is an offensive remark." "I wouldn't go that far, Bruce." "But "cunt" when she grabs a cab in front of you after you've been waiting 20 minutes on a rainy night and she just pops out from Lutesse is a justifiable emotional response to an enormous social injustice." "All I am saying is it's never right to use words to hurt another person." "How did I hurt her?" "She didn't hear me." "She's halfway to Poughkeepsie by now, the bitch!" "Don't get me started." "I was just calming down." "We hurt ourselves when we use them." "We're all diminished." "You're right." "I don't agree with you, but you're right." "Of course I'm right... you big fairy." "# Wilkommen, bienvenue #" "# Welcome #" "# Fremde, enchante #" "# Stranger #" ""Cabaret." Joel Grey." "The Broadhurst Theater." "1,165 performances, and they don't write musicals like that anymore." "Oh." "Sorry." "You looked like someone I could have a little fun with on my way to oblivion." "Oh, well." "Wake me when we get to Glocamorra, will you, hmm?" "# Au Cabaret, en Cabaret #" "# To Cabaret!" "#" "Do you ever wonder what Gregory looks like?" "Perry." "I know what he looks like." "No, I mean what he really looks like." "I know what he really looks like." "He's handsome." "He has wonderful green eyes that shine." "But you've never seen green eyes." "You have no concept of them." "In my mind's eye I do." "What do we look like?" "Oh, Perry." "Like bookends." "Is that a compliment?" "I think... you love each other very much." "I think you will stick it out, whatever." "I think right now you're holding hands." "I think that when Perry has to take his hand from yours," "Arthur, to steer in traffic, he puts it back in yours as soon as he can." "I think this is how you always drive." "I think... this is how you go through life." "Welcome to Shangri-La." "John." "Welcome back, stranger." "Remember, don't, um, mention, um, his, um, stutter, um." "Now isn't this, um, better than the, um, city?" "What did I tell you?" "Traffic was ghastly." "You need, um, a swim." "I need a-- ahem-- a drink." "This is Ramon, Ramon Fornos." "I know." "I saw, um, your company performing at the, uh, Joyce." "You were terrific." "You saw us?" "Yeah." "Great, just great." "You, uh, swim as well as you dance?" "I don't do anything as well as I dance." "Come on." "We'll, uh, both cool off." "John, we'll work this afternoon." "When I first bought this house, people thought I was crazy." "It's in, um, the middle of nowhere." "I like, uh, the middle of nowhere." "How long have you and John been...?" "Uh, three weeks." "Our regular rehearsal pianist was sick, so John filled in." "Thanks for letting him bring me." "Not at all." "I'm glad, uh, John's happy." "I don't, um, do this, uh, on purpose, uh." "Oh, it's okay, Mr. Mitchell." "It's Gregory, please." "You'll make me feel like an old man if you keep that up." "Sorry." "Whoo!" "Bobby?" "I" "Oh, great, whoo!" "That's disgusting." "What is?" "What is?" "What is?" "Reading someone's journal." "Did you just get here?" "Yes." "Where is Gregory?" "They're swimming." "You alone?" "No." "I have Michael J. Fox in here." "Are you?" "No." ""Dancing gets harder and harder." "I have pains in places I didn't know I had..."" " Oh, I hate what you're doing." " "The spirit is willing--"" "If I thought for one second that you read anything I wrote when we were together, I would kill you." "I'm puzzled." "What kind of statement about his work do you think a choreographer is making by living with a blind person?" "It's not a statement." "It's a relationship!" "Remember them?" "And at least they have someone." "Speak for yourself." "All right, so you got lucky this weekend." "Don't rub it in." "What happened to you and, uh" "Aah!" "I got too intense for him." "That's my problem with people." "I'm too intense for them." "I need someone like Dennis Hopper." "A cute, young, gay Dennis Hopper." "In the meantime, I am through with love and all that it meant to me." "Right." "Perry's work for Gregory is pro bono." "Arts advocacy is very in." " He does my clinic, too." " So is aids." "Sorry." "All right." "That's $5.00." "What?" "Anyone that mentions aids this summer," "It's gonna cost 'em." "Cough it up." "Hello, we're back!" "Put this away and come downstairs." "I want to see this new boyfriend of yours." "Oh, did I mention he's a dancer?" "I hate you." "I really hate you." "You don't know, um, what you're missing, John!" "The lake is, uh, wonderful." "Don't believe him." "It's freezing." "Oh, my." "Hello, hello, hello, Gregory." "Hey, Buzz, welcome." "Buzz, this is Ramon." "Aah!" "Mmm." "I am so sorry." "It's been such a long day for me." "How are you?" "Hi, I'm Ramon." "Nice to meet you." "Oh, oh, oh, my." "Ho ho, ooh." "You're home, Bobby." "Well, that isn't bad." "2 1/2 hours door-to-door." "Whose car is that?" "Are we expecting company?" "Okay, John had nowhere to go, so Gregory invited him." "John?" "John Jeckyll?" "No, no, no, no." "Didn't Gregory tell you that he'd be here?" "No, he did not." "Shit." "Why would Greg do that to me?" "Shh." "He, uh, he didn't." "He told me." "I elected not to tell you." "Why?" "Oh, why?" "Perry has a problem with John, Bobby." "I don't have a problem with him." "I can't stand him, and I wish he was dead." "He said he was bringing someone." "A new boyfriend?" "One of the Menendez brothers?" "Oh, you're really over the top this afternoon." "Wait till the weekend's over." "Hello." "Where is everybody?" "They're here." "Buzz, John, they're here." "Need a hand, Bobby?" "I was beginning to, um, worry." "Hi." "Oh, that bus was horrendous." "I should've called for you." "A handshake?" "What is this shit?" "I want a hug." "Where's my, um, angel?" "Hey, John." "You both look terrific." "Don't you two put on weight ever anywhere?" "Oh, look who's talking." "Love to see the portrait in his closet." "No, you wouldn't." "Ramon, Arthur and, uh, Perry." "He's Arthur." "I'm Perry." "He's nice, I'm not." "Hi." "Oh, now, we're both nice." "Don't you listen to him." "Anyway..." "So what are you boys driving these days?" "A Ford Taurus." "What do you care, you big fruit?" "That's a Volvo 740 Turbo, Buzz." "Oh, he's so butch." "Well, that's why you married me." " Can you change a tire?" " No." "Neither can l." "Aah!" "That's from "Annie Get Your Gun."" ""Can you bake a pie?" "No." "Neither can l."" "Ethel Merman was gay, you know." "So was Irving Berlin." "Irving Berlin." "I don't think English is Ramon's first language." "I missed you." "Oh, it's so good to be here." "The city's awful." "You can't breathe." "Have you been working?" "I didn't leave, um, the studio, um, all week." "How'd it go?" "Don't ask." "Terrible." "Ohh." "Hi, I'm Ramon." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Uh, Bobby doesn't, um, see, Ramon." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry." "Just come here." "Welcome." "Ramon." "Is that Latino?" "Yes." "Mi casa es su casa, huh?" "I bet you were wishing I wasn't going to say that." "We all were, Bobby." "We all were." "What room are you in?" "What room are you in?" "The little horror under the eaves." "I call it the Patty Hearst Memorial Closet." "Perry, give me a hand with this, will you?" "I told you not to bring so much stuff." "Well, it's my hair dryer." "You don't have enough hair to justify an appliance that size." "Has it ever occurred to you" "I stopped listening to you at least 10 years ago?" "I hope you brought, um, your swimsuits." "Hey, we don't need swimsuits." "We're all going skinny dipping after lunch." "What are we, men or wimps?" "You just want to see everyone's dick." "Oh, I've seen everyone's dick." "Answer the question." "Sometimes we're men, and sometimes we're wimps." "And you haven't seen Ramon's dick." "You are a troublemaker." "I am not a troublemaker." "I'm an imp." "A gay imp." "Gregory always leaves Bobby alone like that?" "That's their ritual." "Whenever he gets here, he likes to be alone in the garden." "Greg, we need some towels!" "No, we don't." "We brought our own, remember?" "Never mind!" "Right." "We hate his towels." "Try to be nice to John for a change." "It's only three days." "Tell him not to start with me." "It's usually the other way around." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Oh, yeah." "What did you think of John's new friend?" "He's all right, I guess." "Didn't really notice." "That'll be the day." " Psst, Gregory." " What?" "John is on the phone to his brother... in London." "I didn't hear him use a credit card or reverse the charges." "Um, I'm sure he'll, um, tell me." "Don't you ever believe the worst about anyone?" "No." "Oh, fuck everything." "I" "Who's that?" "I'm sorry." "Ah." "You startled me." "It's Ramon." "I'm sorry." "Uh, I was just, um, thanking God for all this." "I didn't mean to interrupt or anything." "I'm not crazy." "I'm happy." "I understand." "Yes." "I'll leave you alone." "Okay." "Hey, you want to go for a swim?" "Want to go for a swim?" "Oh-- oh, shit." "What's the matter?" "My brother, he wants to come over." "I didn't know you had a brother." "Twin brother." "We're like that." "Ah, sounds like me and mine." "He's not well." "He needs me, and, uh..." "I don't like him." "I, um... work with quite a few aids organizations." "Thank you." "They can help him find a doctor." "Thank you." "It never ends." "No." "How does Buzz look to you?" "I don't know." "How does he look to you?" "I can't tell anymore." "He wouldn't tell me if things were worse." "I can't look at him sometimes." "Anyway..." "You got that from me, you know?" "Got what?" "The..." ""anyway."" "It's a word in the dictionary, page 249." "You can't copyright the English language, ducks." "Hey." "I'm trying." "Fuck you." "I can reach that, Arthur." "I'll get it." "I don't want to get my shirt wet." "Please stop telling me how to wash the car." "Arthur, you do the-- don't." " I am serious." " please." "Don't tell me how to wash the car!" "Oh, fuck." "Jeez." "Buzz." "Dinner." "I was having a musical comedy nightmare." "They were going to revive "West Side Story"" "with Robert Goulet and Cher." "We've got to stop them." " Ooh." " Come on." "Oh, thank you." "No, Gregory, it's out of the question." "I'm not gonna do it, and I'm not gonna let Arthur do it." "His master's voice." "It's for a good cause." "You are not going to find six serious, respectable gay men, non-dancers, all, to put on tutus and do "Swan Lake" for another aids benefit at Carnegie Hall." "You're not gonna find one decent gay man." "Speak for yourself, Perry." "Well, you, the love child of Judy Garland and Liberace." "When is it, Gregory?" "Right after Labor Day." "I'm sorry, but men in drag turn my stomach." "Honey, I wouldn't put you in drag." "I'd have you in tulle." "Lots and lots of tulle." "You know what I'm talking about." "Don't yell at him." "It was my idea." "I thought it might be funny." "You've done enough for aids." "We all have." "Nobody's done enough, um, for aids." "Never mind, Perry." "I'll ask someone else." "People are sick of benefits." "Especially the people they're being given for." "Dinner was delicious." "Those mashed potatoes are fabulous, Gregory." "Those mashed potatoes are fabulous, Gregory." " Oh yeah." " The mashed potatoes were mine." "# Giving credit where it's due #" "# There is much I like in you #" "But it's also very true that you're spoiled." "Well, I don't know why I bother to perfect a flawless imitation of Gertrude Lawrence when none of you cretins have even heard of her." "We've heard, love." "We don't care." "Who's Gertrude Lawrence?" "A British actress." "Julie Andrews made a rotten film about her." "Isn't Julie Andrews gay?" "I don't know." "She never fucked me." "Don't interrupt." "Who's Julie Andrews?" "I suppose I should have seen that one coming." "I was born in the wrong decade." "That's my problem." " Who's got the milk?" " Who's Ethel Merman?" "Who's Mary Martin?" "Who is anyone?" "We're all gonna be dead and forgotten soon anyway." "Gregory's not." "I know who Barbra Streisand is." "She'll be very pleased to hear that." "You admit people like Gertrude Lawrence don't really matter." "I cannot believe that a subject of the UK would even make a comment like that." "I have United States citizenship." "When did you take out US citizenship?" "Nine years ago, October 25." "Barbara Cook's birthday." "Who's Barbara Cook?" "No one, nobody." "Forget it." "Die listening to your Madonna albums." "I long for the day when somebody says, "Who's Madonna?"" "I apologize to the teenagers at the table." "The state of the American musical has me very upset." "It's the state of America that should have you upset." "It does." "It's a metaphor, you asshole." "Now, just a minute." "I have a picture of a starving child in Somalia over my desk at the clinic." "It doesn't justify you calling me" "Five feet away, a vulture sits and waits." "Just sits and waits." "He's not even looking at the kid." "He's that certain where his next meal is coming from." "We've all seen the picture, Buzz." "Not like this kid is going to get up and launch into some number from "Oliver!"" " Or "Porgy and Bess."" " We've all seen the picture." "I haven't." "So what is your point?" "My point?" "I don't have a point." "Why does everything have to have a point?" "I sit, and I look at that picture every day," "And I get sick to my stomach, and sometimes I cry a little bit, and so what?" "So fucking what?" "That kid is probably dead meat by now anyway." "I think the point is we're all sitting around here talking about something, pretending to care." " No one's pretending." " Pretending to care... because the truth is there's nothing we can do about it." "That kid is a picture in a newspaper who makes us feel bad for having it so good." "But feed him, brush him off, and in 10 years, he's just another nigger to scare the shit out of us." "Apologies tendered, but that's how I see it." "Apologies not accepted." "You'd rather I dissembled?" "Yes, I would." "I'd rather the man I shared my life with and love with all my heart" "I'd rather he dissembled than let me see the hate and bile there." "The hate and bile aren't for you, love." "Well, that's not good enough, Perry." "After a while, the hate and bile are for everyone." "It all comes around." "Anyway..." "I hate that word." "You use it to get yourself out of every tight corner you've ever found yourself in." "Shall I load the washer?" "Um, just rinse and stack." "Thank you, Arthur." "Need a hand?" "No, thank you." "As a person of color, I think you're full of shit." "As a person of color, I think you're full of shit." "As a gay man, I think" "No one cares what you think as a gay man, ducks." "I think the problem begins right here." "The way we relate to one another as gay men." "This is tired, Ramon." " Very, very tired." " I don't think it is." "We don't love one another 'cause we don't love ourselves." "Cliches." "Cliches." "Where's the love at this table?" "I wanna see the love at this table." "I love Gregory." "I love Bobby." "I love Arthur." "I love Gregory." "I love Bobby." "I love Buzz." "Well, I certainly don't love anyone at this table right now." "All right." "Bobby and Gregory a little bit." "But only because they're our hosts." "None of you said yourself." "Maybe it goes without saying." "We were waiting for you, Ramon." "How do you love yourself?" "Let us count the ways." "I love myself." "I love myself when I dance." "That's one." "I love myself when I'm making love with a really hot man." "Mmm!" "I love myself when I'm eating really good food." "I love myself when I'm swimming naked." "That's four." "The rest of the time I just feel okay." "I'm jealous." "We don't reach such an apotheosis at the law firm of Caan, Mendelson, Cronenberg." "But most of all, I love myself when I'm dancing well and no one can touch me." "Yes, this is a gay dance, huh, chiquita?" "Fuck you, John!" "That's right, sweetheart, you tell him." "Fuck you, John!" "Americans use that expression entirely too often." "Hmmph." "Everyone?" "Fuck you, John!" "In England we think it nearly as often as you do, but we don't actually say it to someone's face." "It would be too rude." "Fuck you!" "What do you mean when you tell another person, "Fuck you"?" "Fuck you, and don't you ever call me chiquita again!" "This is good." "I think it means several things-- mixed signals I believe they're called in therapeutic circles." "I hate you, get out of my life." "At least, I hate you, get out of my life for the moment." "I love you, but you don't love me." "I want to make you feel small and insignificant," "The way you've made me feel." "I want to make you feel every terrible thing my entire life, right up until this moment, has made me feel." "I said fuck you!" "Well, I say fuck you right back, with every last fiber of my fading British being, every last ounce of my tobaccoed English breath." "Fuck you, Ramon." "Fuck all of you." "Well..." "I think I've said my peace." "What brought that on?" "His brother." "That's no excuse." "Play something, John!" "Something gay!" "We want gay music by a gay composer." "There's no such thing as gay music, Buzz." "Well, maybe there should be." "I am sick to death of straight people." "Tell the truth." "Aren't you?" "There's just too goddamned many of them." "I was in a bank the other day." "They were everywhere-- writing checks, making deposits." "Two of them were applying for a mortgage." "It was disgusting." "They're taking over." "No one wants to talk about it, but it's true." "I like this." "It's not Jerry Herman, but it's got a beat." "I don't have a complaint." "Yeah, I know." "Ah." "What the hell is it?" "Ow." "Hey, it's not-- it's not funny." "I" "I brought you a sweater." "The stars are incredible." "Thick as... whatever stars are thick as." "Molasses doesn't sound right." "Thieves?" "No." "No." "I love you." "I know." "Me too." "I'm sorry we don't always understand each other." "I hate it when we're not in synch." "I hate what I said at the table." "I hated it, too." "I just get so... frightened sometimes." "So angry." "It's all right, Perry." "We all do." "Don't give up on me." "No." "It's incredible." "I can see Orion's belt and both Dippers." "So many stars." "So many stars." "Say a prayer for Buzz." "Well, children, this has been a magical night, but I must retire to the second-floor bedroom... in the rear... no lock on the door." "Welcome at all hours." "I take all comers." "Good night, Buzz." "I am going up, too." "Is everything okay?" "We're fine." "I'll be up." "Welcome, Ramon." "Good night." "John." "You all right?" "I'm sorry." "It's this business with my brother." "It's okay." "I'm glad you're here." "Good night." "You still there?" "Yes." "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "No." "No." "No." "No." "Ohh." "Don't." "Don't." "Stop." "Please." "Go, go, go." "I'll clean it up." "Go ahead." "Hi." "Good night." "What happened?" "Oh, be careful." "There might be broken glass." "Oh, I'm okay." "I'm wearing slippers." "There, I think I got it all." "Oh, you cut yourself." "Now sit." " No, I'm fine." " Sit." "I'm..." "I'm..." "Okay." "Where were you?" "I couldn't sleep." "I missed you." "I said..." "I missed you." "I heard you." "Shh." "Go back to sleep." "What are you doing?" "I, uh..." "I guess you should know." "There's a rather obvious stain on your pajamas." "I didn't know I could still blush at my age." "Your secret's safe with me." "I, uh..." "I had sort of an accident." "I hope you both did." "You know what we used to call them back in Catholic boys' school?" "Nocturnal emissions." "It always-- always made me think of Chopin." "Nocturnal Emission in C-Sharp Minor." "Come on." "I don't want Greg to know." "I swear to God," "I only came down here for a glass of milk." "I swear to God I did, too." "Is he attractive?" "I'm not supposed to notice things like that." "I'm in a relationship." "So am I." "Is he?" "I think the word is hot, Bobby, okay?" "Ah, I love these stairs." "They're so easy." "Everyone says that." "I" "Have you ever... on Perry?" "Uh, yes... and I don't recommend it." "Did he find out?" "Well, no." "I told him." "And it's never been the same." "It's, uh-- it's terrific." "It's just not the same." "Don't fuck up." "Oh, you are so..." "He's not that hot, Bobby." "No one is." "I know." "Thanks." "Good night." "Are you all right?" "Shhhh." "Go to sleep." "I missed you." "Shh." "Shh." "Te quiero, Ramon Fornos." "Te quiero," "4th of July weekend." "Promise of good weather." "After Memorial Day, we deserve it." "I've been stuck for weeks on the new piece." "It isn't coming as easily as I thought it would." "Ready?" "Bobby and I have spent most of June working in the garden." "I'm always amazed at how quickly things get overgrown if you don't." "Hello." "# La... #" "Buzz arrived alone again." "We were hoping he'd bring someone." "He seems to be doing better on his new medicine." "John Jeckyll is arriving with his twin brother James... who came over from London to participate in the trial drug protocol." "A weekend in the country will do him good." "Perry has already dubbed them" "James the Fair and John the Foul." "Good morning, everybody." "Smile for the camera." "John asked to bring Ramon Fornos again." "To say Ramon made an impression on all of us the last time would be putting it mildly." "Meet me on the raft." "Was I ever that young?" "I don't remember." "Hello there." "Good morning, sunshine." "Perry and Arthur asked if they could celebrate their anniversary with us." "Say hi." "Say hi, honey." "Come on, you look so pretty." "I warned them John would be here." "Poor John." "People don't like him." " Good try." " Okay." "Whoa." "Good serve, Perry." "Come on, Buzz." "Yeah!" "It's all right, hon." "Way to go, Buzz." "Good try." "Good effort." "Your serve." "You don't catch the ball." "All right." " Good set." " Oh, it's ESPN." "Get it off my-- you're supposed to cover that spot." "It's all right." "Jesus." "Perry, get up." "Come on, now, let's be good sports." "Perry." "Whoop." "# Go, Perry, go #" "# Go, Perry... #" "Come on, Buzz!" "What?" "No." "It's all ri-- now, honey, come on." "You have to hit the ball!" " We're gonna take your toys away." " What?" "Why are you running up like that?" " You" " I'm gonna..." " What?" "Let's go." "Come on." "That's two serving 12." "Let's go." "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo-hoo!" "You run like a girl, Perry." "Oh!" "Ooh!" "Are you okay?" "Uh-huh." "That's it!" "Change partners!" "You show him, Gregory." "Oh-ho, honey." "Oh ho!" "Don't do this!" "You're traumatizing me!" "Oh, I'm back in the sixth grade." "Coach Reardon's gym class." "Nobody wants me on their side." "It's the exact moment" "I became a raving homosexual." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh, it's all so vivid still!" "Oh!" "Oh ho ho!" "Here, Buzz." "Make a V with your, uh, forearms." "Like this." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you." "You see how I respond to basic human kindness?" "Oh, why can't you have a twin brother?" "Where are all the eligible men?" "There are no eligible men!" "Will you keep your voice down?" "Why?" "We're in the middle of nowhere." "Keep my voice down?" "!" "You're a martyr, Arthur, a genuine martyr." "I hear Ramon's eligible." "Oh, no, no." "I don't date dancers." "It's very simple." "I've made it a rule." "Dancers don't want to date me, so fuck 'em." "All right, what's the score, 1000 to one?" "I'm really getting into this." "Are we playing or what?" "Here, Perry." "Your serve." "Now getting ready to serve, the ever lovely Dr. Renee Richards." "Out." "Tea time." "Tea time." "Tea time." "Tea time." " Oh, hiya." " Tea time!" "Hey, Buzz, which one of them is it?" "It must be James." "The grass isn't turning brown." " Just in time, James." " Mmm." " Mmm." " Ooh." "Arthur." "My brother gave me the most extraordinary book." ""Queer America-- from A to Zed."" "Am I in it?" "It gives the names of all the gay men and lesbians in this country." "Every one from..." "Pocahontas... right up to someone called..." "Dan Rather?" "# You say "Raw-ther," and I say "Ra-ther" #" "# Let's call the whole thing off. #" "Oh God, that ridiculous book." "I bet they've even got Charlton Heston in there." "I must say, for a young country, you've turned out almost as many poofters in two and a half centuries as we have in 20." "Oh, thank you." "We try." "I" "Hello?" "Anyone aboard?" "Ramon." "I waited for you last night." "I thought you'd come down." "I can't do this." "Meet me somewhere tonight." "Bobby, come in!" "Telephone, long distance." "They're calling me." "I'll be in the garden after 7:00." "Not the garden." "Boathouse." "What, John didn't tell you?" " No." " Ah." "Well, it was when he first came to this country, short and sweet, six months, tops." "I'm sorry." "What happened?" "Oh, we were both so young." "I was too needy and he wasn't needy enough." "I don't think John can love anyone." "Now you tell me." "Perhaps one of us had better swim out there and tell Ramon." "I think you should break it to him." "I don't think I'm his type." "I don't think either of us is." "I enjoy looking though." "Is there a British equivalent for machismo?" "No, none at all." "Maybe Glenda Jackson." "Well, this tea is not doing it for me." "Can I bring you a real drink down?" "An ice cold martini, very dry with a twist." "Is that gonna be good for you?" "Absolutely terrible." "Here." "Here." "All right, it's right here." "Thanks." "Thank you." "Hello?" "What?" "Yeah, I can't hear you." "You have to speak up." "What?" "We don't have sun like this in England." "If we did, we'd be much nicer people." "Shh." ""Swan Lake."" "My blood just ran cold." "You're serious about that goddamn benefit." "Of course I'm-- I'm serious." "That's all we need-- a picture of you" "looking like some flaming fairy in the Arts and Leisure section." "Men in drag give the rest of us a bad name." "I have terrible news." ""The Fantastics" is closing!" "Whoo!" "Oh, come on, buzz!" " What?" "You know goddamn well what!" "No." "What?" "This?" "Put some clothes on." "No one wants to look at that." "That?" "You are referring to my body as that?" "Tell him, Arthur." "It's not bothering me." "Thank you, Arthur." "It's nice to know that Sharon Stone has not lived entirely in vain." "What brought this on?" "Nothing brought this on." "Some people do things spontaneously!" "It's a beautiful day." "The sun feels good." "I may not be around next summer, all right?" "This is how I look, Perry." "Love me, love my love handles!" "None of us may be around next summer." "What do you think you're doing?" "Oh, calm down, Perry." "I can't believe you actually lived through the '60s." "We only read about 'em in Kansas." "I'm less uptight than you are." "Leo, I could walk around like that too if I wanted to." "Who's stopping you?" "I just don't want to." "She's got it." "By George, she's got it." "Whoo!" "I give up." "I hope your dick gets a sunburn." "Yadda, yadda, yadda." "Thank you very much." "Bobby?" "Bobby?" "Bobby?" "What is it?" "Are you all right?" "Bobby." "Come on, baby." "Hey..." "Give me a hand." "All right, I'll race you back in." "No, I just got here." "Give me a hand." "You think I should be trusting my lover skinny-dipping with a horny Puerto Rican modern dancer?" "It depends on what makes you suspicious." "Horny, Puerto Rican, modern or dancer?" "All of them." "How long have you two been together?" "14 years..." "...today." " Oh!" "We're role models." "It's very stressful." "John, what-- what's the matter?" "Bobby's sister." "There's been an accident." "Ow!" "Ow." "You had a fly on you." "You know, you got a nice ass for somebody your age." "Thank you." "So do you." "What?" "Have a nice ass." "Oh, you mean for someone my age?" "No, for someone any age." "What?" "No!" "Hey, hey!" "Hey!" "God!" "Goddamn it." "I'm so sorry." "It's all right." "It's all right." "Shh." "It's okay, it's okay." "It's all right." "It's all right." "It's all right." "Some sort of a ride at a fair in India." "Some sort of a ride at a fair in India." "Some sort of swing thing collapsed." "I couldn't get the whole story." "Is she...?" "Poor lamb." "Thank you." "It's hot." "How is he?" "He's, uh, all right." "You know, we'll go." "Oh, no, no, no." "He wants you to stay." "I remember when Gregory bought this place." "I was dead against it." "No one for miles and miles." "We could be the last eight people on earth." "That's a frightening thought." "Not if you're with the right eight people." "At times I wish you could see me." "See me looking at you." "The love there." "Uh, I'm not..." "I know." "I know this is a terrible thing to say right now, but..." "I am so happy, Bobby." "Thank you, God, for him." "You know how we tell each other everything, even when it's hard?" "Yes." "Memorial Day weekend." "Yes?" "Ramon and l" "Don't, Bobby." " We made love." " Don't." "I didn't want it to happen, but it did." "Have you, um, um... did you, uh... do you, uh, want to again?" "No, I'm with you." "You leave tonight." "I don't want you in our house." "Where are you going?" "Don't, um, come, um, with me." "It's back." "That was brief." " Arthur, discard." " Okay." "Go." "Will you go?" "I'm going, I'm going." "The door is still closed." "You were right, honey." "We should have left." "Here he is." "That's him." "I'd swear on my mother's life." "And I once had sex with the ghost of Troy Donahue." "Wait a minute, first you said he was the model for Calvin Klein's Obsession." "I can't keep all those names straight, but I'll not forget a face and a body like that." "And you found this person sleeping adrift on a fishing boat?" "Yes." "You ever been to Greece?" "There are a lot of fishing boats." " And you made love to him?" " Not in the fishing boat." "It started to rain." "Found sort of a cave." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh, this is very Dido and Aeneas." "Fuck you, all of you." "I don't care." "The next time you see his picture, you're tossing in bed thinking about him, just remember, somebody had him, and it wasn't you." "Ooh." "Ramon, Ramon, Ramon." "Do you think he's telling the truth?" "No." "Do you?" "Probably got a rotten personality." "I know how we can have a lot of fun." "Sit down." "Did you lock the door?" "It's locked." "Sit." "Put your hands behind your back, feet apart, head down, ready for interrogation, my beautiful bound prisoner." "Look at me." "You look so beautiful like that," "I think I could come without even touching you." "Let me go." "No." "Please, the rope, it's too tight." "My wrists." "Go on." "Struggle." "Shh." "I can't get loose." "Look at me." "You don't take your eyes from mine." "Who do you see?" "Who do you wish I were?" " No, I won't tell you." " Yes, you will." "Who?" "Look at me." "Who?" "Who do you wish I were?" "Kiss me." "Gag me with your mouth." "Come on, baby." "Who do you see?" "Who do you want in this chair?" "I don't know." "Yes, you do." "Everybody does." "Who do you see?" "Come on, tell me." "It's okay, John." "I can't." "Come on, baby, who?" "Don't make me." "I can't make you do anything." "I'm your fucking prisoner, man." "You have me tied up here, gagged." "Ohh." "Ohh." "His name was Padrick, the Irish spelling." "Fuck the spelling." "Padrick Boyle." "He was 17 years old." "I was 19." "I hear you." "17 and 19." "100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer..." "Shut up." "Shut up." "He worked for us." "We owned a fleet of coaches." "Padrick and his father washed them, but that didn't matter." "We were friends." "He liked me." "I know he liked me." "Cut to the chase." "Cut to what chase?" "There wasn't any chase." "Get to the good part." "It's all a good part." "Get to the sex." "One night and day." "We started... wrestling." "Suddenly Padrick put his hand... down there, and he could feel I was hard." "And he said..." ""What is this?" "What the bloody hell is this, mate?"" "He took off my belt, wrapped it around my wrists... he raised my arms over my head and hung them to a hook along the wall." "Then he unfastened my trousers and let them drop to my ankles." "He undressed himself," "Took a chair like this one, and sat in it." "Then he looked right at me." "Didn't move, not even the slightest undulation of his hips." "And then he came, and all he let out was this one soft "uhh."" " What did he say?" " Uhh." "After a while he opened his eyes, stood up, and kissed me lightly on the lips." "No man had ever kissed me before." "My heart stopped beating." "He was going to tell me he loved me, but instead he said, "I've doused this place with petrol." "I'm lighting a match." "You have three minutes to get out alive." "Good luck, 007."" "Then he laughed and walked out, whistling." "He never wanted to play again." "Last time I saw him, he was overweight, father of four, and still washing our coaches." "But that's who I still see there every time." "And that's why we hate the bloody Irish." "Sorry." "Can I, um, get in there a sec?" "Sure." "Um, uh, sorry." "I need to, um, get a suitcase for Bobby." "How is he?" "He's going home." "Was it in there?" "No." "Wrong closet." "Do you mind if we don't..." "Suit yourself." "I'm not Padrick." "And I'm not Bobby." "I don't know what you're talking about." "You son of a bitch." "It was his idea." "I had nothing to do with it." "I'm sorry, John." "It was a joke." "You scum, you cunt, you piece of shit!" "I will get down on my knees to you." "How dare you?" "How fucking dare you?" "I hope you get what my brother has." "I hope you die from it." "When I read or hear that you have, then, Perry, then will I forgive you." "I" "Well, so much for the unsafe exchange of body fluids." "Boy, I would like to flatten that limey motherfucker." "You know, I'm tired of "limey."" "Aren't there any other hateful words for those ass-licking, cock-sucking, motherfucking, shit-eating descendants of Shakespeare, Shelley and Keats?" "Okay, honey, let's drop it, all right?" "He is just lucky I am a big queen." "One thing you are not, Arthur, and never will be, is a big queen." "I know." "I'm butch." "I can" " I can catch a ball." "I genuinely like both my parents." "I hate opera." "I don't know why I bother being gay." "Oh, God." "Where did that come from?" "Happy anniversary." "Are we okay?" "We're fine." "14 years." "Make you feel old?" "No, lucky." "How did we manage?" "We wanted to manage." "I haven't been perfect." "Well, I've been perfect." "Sure, you have." "I thought you were the most wonderful looking man I'd ever seen." "Did you really think that?" "Uh-huh." "Ow!" "Sorry." "When was the last time I did this?" "Just don't make a face." "I am not making a face." "I can hear it in your voice." "I wouldn't do this for anyone but you." "You know, if you really think about it, this is what it all comes down to." "What?" "Trimming the hair in your boyfriend's ears?" "Oh, God, I hope not." "I'll snitch a frock out of National Theater storage for you." "Something of Dame Edith Evans." "Oh." "What's the matter?" "I'm waiting for you to tell me she was gay." "She wasn't, actually." "One of two British actresses who isn't." "I think the other one is Deborah Kerr." "But all the rest, galloping lezzies." "Do you have a boyfriend over there?" "Not anymore." "What about you?" "Oh, darling, when the going gets tough, weak boyfriends get going, or something like that." "I can't say I'm honestly minding." "Last acts are depressing, and generally one long solo." "Well, they don't have to be." "How sick are you?" "I think I'm in pretty good nick, but my reports read like something out of Nostradamus." "I should have died six months ago." "Try 18." "Do you have any lesions?" "Only one, and I've had it for nearly a year." " Where is it?" " In a very inconvenient spot." "Oh, they are all inconvenient." "May I see it?" "It's, uh..." "All right." "I, um..." "I have a lesbian friend in London, who's the only other person who's ever asked to see it." "I was quite astonished when she did." "Touched, actually." "Somebody loves me, even if it's not the somebody I've dreamed of." "Are you through?" "Gwenyth didn't go that far." "It doesn't disgust you?" "It's going to be me." "You don't know that." "Yes, I do." "You're very nice, you know?" "So are you." "No, l" " I mean it." "So do I." "# Happy anniversary to you #" "# Happy anniversary to you #" "# Happy anniversary #" "# Arthur and Perry #" "# Happy anniversary #" "# To you #" "Bravo." "Whoo, speech!" "All right, blow out the candles and make a wish." "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "All right, now, speech now." "Speech, speech, speech." "Oh, no, no, no." "I'm married to the best man in the world, even if he does forget to put the toothpaste cap back on and squeezes the tube in the middle." "I wish him long life... much love... and as much happiness as he's brought me." "Ditto." "Oh, God." ""Ditto"?" "That's it, "ditto"?" "Oh, God." "# And wouldn't sleep #" "# When love came and told me... #" "Oh, that's nice." "Don't go and get all goody twoshoes on us." "Everybody dance." "All lovers dance." "What about us single girls?" "You know you're dying to ask me." "So what was your wish?" "No fucking way, Jose." "He still thinks you're gonna get me into one of those fucking tutus." "Gregory." "# Each spring to him #" "# And long for the day #" "# When I'll cling to him #" "# Bewitched, bothered and bewildered #" "# Am I #" "# He's a fool, and don't I know it?" "#" "# But a fool can have his chance #" "# But a fool can have his chance #" "# I'm in love, and don't I show it?" "#" "# Like the day before... #" "You're still here." "I would have driven you, uh, in, uh." "We've got guests." "We both need time to think." "I don't." "I'm sorry." "I love you." "Hurry back to me." "Got a few steps." "Okay." "Here, give me your bag." "# Though he's speaking #" "# He's at his very best... #" "Arthur, look." "# Vexed again... #" "Answered prayers." "# Thank God #" "# I can be oversexed again #" "# Bewitched #" "# Bothered #" "# And bewildered #" "# Am I #" "# Wise at last #" "# My eyes at last #" "# Are cutting you down #" "# To your size at last #" "# Bewitched #" "# Bothered #" "# And bewildered #" "# No more #" "# No more #" "Labor Day weekend, but already it feels like the end of summer." "Perhaps the autumnal chill in the air is telling us this will be our last weekend." "The lawns are brown, the gardens wilted." "Soon it will be back to school." "James Jeckyll has decided to stay in the States." "Buzz says he will get much better care here." "He will also get Buzz." "Who could not love James?" "We have all taken him to our hearts." "It will be a sad day when that light goes out." "I keep telling everyone the new piece is nearly finished, but the truth is I haven't begun." "Maybe it isn't meant to be." "I wish I could blame Bobby." "It hasn't been easy since he got back from his sister's funeral... but we're working on it." "Bobby." "I really wish I could blame Ramon." "I hadn't counted on him coming with John this time." "Bobby." "I thought they were over." "Hey, did you hear that?" " Hmm?" " Did you?" "Would you leave them alone?" "You're as bad as John." "I'm not as bad as John." "No one is as bad as John." "Most of all," "I wish I could let what happened go." "Ssshit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "How are we feeling?" "Not sexy." "How are you feeling really?" "We defy augury." "Hmmph." "What does that mean?" "Shakespeare." "It means don't fuck with me." "Oh." "Shakespeare was gay, you know?" "You're going too far now." "Oh, you really think a straight man would write a line like "We defy augury"?" "James, get real." "Good morning, Gregory." "Coffee's brewing." "Welcome to my diva mode." "How's work going?" "Don't ask, huh?" "I'll get famous like you, Greg." "A great dancer..." "like you were." "What's the matter?" "What are you looking at?" "You're making me feel weird." "I'm sorry." "Great dancer you are," "I didn't mean it, okay?" "Look, I'm sorry your work isn't going well." "Ow!" "Ow!" "What are you doing?" "Put your, um, hand, um, down the drain." "Fuck you." "No." " Do it!" " What for?" "I said do it!" " What for?" "!" " You know what for!" " I don't." " You know!" " Because of Bobby?" " Because of Bobby?" "Did you say because of Bobby?" "What because of Bobby?" "Nothing, nothing." " Put your hand down the drain!" " Jesus, Gregory, what are you" "He wants me to put my fucking hand down the drain." " Tell them why." " I don't" "Tell them why!" " He thinks me and Bobby..." " That's why." "Gregory, let him go." "I am gonna break it!" "Is that coffee, um, ready yet?" "That was not funny, Gregory." "Are you all right?" "That wasn't about me and Bobby." "That was about me and you!" "Coffee, Perry?" "Thanks." "You're old and you're scared, and you don't know what to do about it." "Buzz?" "Yeah, I'll..." "I am young, I am not scared, and I am coming after you." "Ramon?" "That's what this was about." "Yes, please." "With milk." "One café con leche," "For Ramon." "Hmm." "Thank you." "Well, my stomach is up in my throat." "I knew he wouldn't do it." "I knew you wouldn't do it." "Oh, yeah." "Macho man herself here." "Yeah, he's just lucky I didn't pop him one." "Sorry." "Coffee grounds." "You're not supposed to put them down there." "Ramon, would you, um, take this up to, uh, Bobby?" "Thank you." "I" "I can't believe the rain this summer." "It's simple." "God doesn't want us to develop skin cancer from overzealous exposure to his sun in our overzealous pursuit of looking drop-dead good to one another." "Look out for that log." "That's big of him." "I see it." "After aids, he figures we deserve a break." "That's $5." "Oh, I think we stopped playing that game." "Who won?" "Well, not Buzz and James." "Do you ever feel guilty?" "No." "Grateful." "Why?" "Do you?" "Every time I look at Buzz, even when he's driving me crazy, or now James," "I have to think or say to myself," ""Sooner or later, that man-- that human being, won't be standing there washing the dishes or tying his shoelace."" "None of us is... are." "Is?" "Are?" "I don't know." "Are?" "Oh, but you're right." "It's no comfort, but you're right." "Will be." "None of us will be." "Watch your step." "A little more." "Up." "Real good." "Watch out there." "Up." "Okay." "Move back." "That's it." "You're dying, aren't you?" "There's so many things I've never said to you, things we've never spoken about." "I don't want to wait until it's too late to say them." "I resent you." "I resent everything about you." "You had Mom and Dad's unconditional love." "Now you have the world's." "How can I not envy that?" "I wish I could say it was because you're so much better looking than me." "No." "The real pain is that it's something that's so much harder to bear." "You got the good soul." "I got the bad one." "Think about leaving me yours." "So... what's your secret?" "The secret of unconditional love." "I'm not going to let you die with it." "There's no secret." "It's all right." " I understand." " No." "I hated you." "John." "John..." "I wished... you were dead." "Stop it!" "Shh." "You just thought you did." "There's a difference." "I just wanted to be the one they loved." "And now... you will be." "How is he?" "Don't ask." "Poor guy." "How are you?" "Weary and wonderful." "Anyway, I was just gonna go take a shower." "Oh, um..." "I think we used up all the hot water." "Oh." "I could fetch, uh..." "No, I'll just do it later." "Really, Buzz." "It's fine." "Ah." "If this were a musical, that'd be such a great cue for a song." "Really, Buzz." "It's fine." "I got..." "# Tok tok, sss, steam heat. #" "Life and Gregory's plumbing should be more like a musical." "There is always a happy ending." "And plenty of hot water." "Perry, just once I would love to see a "West Side Story"" "where everyone gets it." "The Jets and the Sharks and Officer Krupke, too, while we're at it." "What's he doing?" "Sneaking away from the theater?" "Get back here and die like everyone else, you son of a bitch!" "I wanna see a "Sound of Music"" "where the entire Von Trapp family dies in an authentic alpine avalanche, or a "Kiss me, Kate" where she's got a huge cold sore on her mouth." "Oh, God." ""A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum."" "And the only thing that happens is nothing!" "And it's not funny!" "And they all go down waiting!" "Waiting for what?" "Waiting for nothing," "like everyone I know or care about is-- including myself." "That's the kind of musical I'd like to see, but they don't write musicals like that anymore." "So in the meantime, gangway, world." "Get off of my runway." "You are my oldest friend in the world." "And next to Arthur, my best." "It's not enough sometimes, Perry." "You're not sick." "You two are gonna wind up on Golden Pond in matching wicker rockers." "That's not fair!" "We can't help that." "I can't afford to be fair." "Fair is a luxury I can't afford." "Fair is for healthy people with healthy lovers in nice apartments with lots of health insurance, which, of course, they don't need!" "Are you through?" "I'm scared that I'm not gonna be there for James when he needs me." "And I'm so angry that he's not gonna be there for me when I need him." "I know." "I know." "I said I wasn't gonna do this anymore." "But it's wonderful what's happened, you know?" "It's wonderful." "Who?" "Who is gonna be there for me when it's my turn?" "We all will." "Every one of us." "Can you promise me that?" "Can you promise... that you will be holding my hand when I let go?" "That the last face I see... will be yours?" "Yes." "I believe you." "Mine and Arthur's." "Arthur's is negotiable." "I... can't tell you how important this is to me." "I'm a very petty person." "No, you're not." "Buzz?" "Thank you." "I adore him." "What am I gonna do?" "I" " Hey." " Hi." "Oh, thanks." "Tuck it in, Arthur." "I beg your pardon." "See, that's what I keep telling him." "If your just gonna sit on the sidelines and be a kibitz..." "Kibitz?" "What's a kibitz?" "A place where very old, gay, Jewish couples go." "All right, gentlemen, line up." "From the top." "Here we go, guys." "John." "Here we go, everyone." "You started without me." "We thought you were resting." "Don't stop." "Just let me in." "It's all right." "It's all right." "All right, gentlemen, this is a take." "5 and 6 and 7 and 8." "And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8." "Very good." "Very good." "Ow." "Buzz kicked me." "Tattletale." "Shut up and dance." "That's from "Gypsy."" "That's amazing for an accountant." "And 2." "How are we looking?" "Actually, you look like you're having fun." "Getting behind the music, gentlemen, come on." "Whoop." "I always want to go left on that." "Up." "7 and 8." "And 1 and 2 and" "James!" "James!" "No, I'm fine." "I'm fine, I'm fine." "Everybody... back off." " I just want to go lie down a bit." " Uh, I'll" "No, I'm fine, I'm fine." "Please." "Go on, please." "You need all the rehearsal you can get." "I've got him." "Buzz, maybe you should go." "Maybe you should mind your own business." "Sorry." "Perry, put on the record." "That's how we're gonna perform it anyway." "The piano is for stop and start," "And we're way beyond stop and start." " We're one short again." " We'll live." "All right, come on, girls." "Places." "Tops." "I have 27 years, 8 months, 6 days, 3 hours," "31 minutes, and 1 1 seconds left." "I will be watching "Gone With the Wind,"" "of all things, again on television." "Arthur will be in the other room fixing me hot cocoa and arguing with his brother on the phone." "He won't even hear me go." "He insisted on keeping the TV on so loud." "Wouldn't buy a hearing supplement." "Three years later, it's my turn." "On the bus." "The M-9." "Quietly." "Very quietly." "Just like my life." "Without him, I won't much mind." "I don't want to think about it." "Soon." "Sooner than I thought, even." "Let's just say I died happy." "They reissued "Happy Hunting" on CD, and I'd met Gwen Verdon at a benefit." "She was very nice, and I don't think it was because she knew I was sick." "I wasn't brave." "I took pills." "I went back home to Battersea and took pills." "I'm sorry, Buzz." "I don't die." "I'm fucking immortal." "I live forever... till I take a small plane to Pittsfield, Massachusetts." "I was late for a concert." "No one else from my company was onboard." "Just me and a pilot I never bothered to look at twice." "I don't know." "I don't want to." "I won't be with Gregory." "His name will be Luke." "I'm sorry, Gregory." "I didn't change, and I tried." "At least I think I tried." "I couldn't." "I just couldn't." "No one mourned me." "Not one tear was shed." "I bury every one of you." "It got awfully lonely out here." "It will seem like... forever." "Oh!" "Whoa." "How the hell did that happen?" " What?" " The lights went out." "There will be no performance of "The Red Shoes" tonight." "Oh, boy." "Come on, Bobby." "When do you expect the power back on?" "Are the lights still out?" "Ohh." "Could be forever." "All right, you." "You don't have to sound so cheerful about it." "Who's turn is it to do the dishes?" " I'll start." " No, it's Buzz." "No." "It's Buzz, it's Buzz, it's Buzz." "How is he?" "He's sleeping, but he's better." "He's a little better." "You've all been so..." "I want you to like me." "Oh, look out there." "It's clearing up." "Ah, there's a full moon." "The lake is incredible." "This is why people have places in the country." "Even gay people?" "Drop it, you two." "You can practically read by that moonlight." "All right." "Let's go swimming." "Huh?" "Come on, Bobby." "Come on, let's go." "No." "Moonlight's wasted on me." "Go down to the lake, all of you." "I'll be down in a bit." "Ah, he's a saint." "He's gorgeous, and he's a saint." "Let's go." "What's the weather supposed to be tomorrow?" " More rain." " Ah, no." "John... we're all going down to the lake!" "No, and I have never had the guts." "Watch out for the alligators." "Oh, no." "Don't even joke." "And stay clear of the water moccasins." "If I see one snake... that isn't in a trouser..." "That a girl." "Come on." "If we had enough guts to put on those tutus, we'll have enough guts to go in this pond." " I am insane." " Okay, I'm going." " Whoo!" " Come on, baby!" "Whoo-hoo!" " Whoo hoo hoo!" "Go, girl!" " Whoo!" "Who's there?" "Somebody's there." "It's me." "You look very handsome in the moonlight." "You took my breath away." "I'm going to remember you like that." "It's James." "I know." "Are you supposed to be down here?" "No, and neither are you." "There's a full moon." "Everyone's down by the lake." "I could see them from my window." "Come on." "I'll go with you." "Come on." "Come on." "Oh." "Look at Arthur." "I have a confession to make." "I've never been skinny-dipping in the moonlight with a blind American." "But you only live once." "If you're lucky." "Some people don't live at all." "Yes." "I thought you were scared of that snapping turtle." "I'm terrified of it." "I'm counting on you." "Well, let's go." "I have another confession to make." "I'm English." "I've never been skinny-dipping in the moonlight with anyone." "I knew that." "James!" "Hey!" "Yeah." " Look." " Honey." "Wait a minute, sweetheart" " Whoo!" " Wait a minute." "Come on, Bobby!" "Honey, I thought you were sleeping." "Honey, are you getting in?" "Everybody in!" "Come on!" "Whoa!" "Oh my God!" "Oh my God!" "I saw a shooting star!" "Wait, wait, I have to make a wish." "I"