"I, King Rudolf IV of Ruritania,... have decided to celebrate my 80th birthday... by viewing my entire kingdom... from a balloon in the sky." "THE PRISONER OF ZENDA" "Look." "Look, look!" "What is that, old wise one?" "I think it's a king in a balloon." "Hear me, my good subjects, hear me." "Quiet!" "You have witnessed a miracle." "A miracle?" "I have traveled the four winds... and have arrived here safely." "Is this not proof positive... that I am rightly called Rudolf the Indestructible?" "The King was never a well man." "Count Rupert of Hentzau." "Your father's death leaves you in very good spirits,..." "Duke Michael." "I shall be in even better spirits... when I learn of my brother's death." "With respect, sir, you refer to the new King of Ruritania... and your tone does not befit the crown..." "My brother Rudolf does not befit the crown." "I do agree." "I realize he is weak, vain, spineless and dissolute." "Yes." "He prefers London gaming." "Perhaps this responsibility will change his way." "I do not intend to find out." "Caspar of Saint Vor." "Caspar, you leave for England." "You know what to do." "Do it and you will earn my eternal gratitude,... the gratitude of a king." "Your Majesty." "Good gracious!" "General Sapt and young Fritz." "We are here to share your grief and give you escort home." "Yes, of course." "I am indeed distressed over father's death." "Well the King is dead, long live me." "Put that on 16." "Welcome to London, Sapt and young Fritz." "Thank you, Your Majesty." "It's my first time in London." "London is splendid." "The only problem is it's wasted on the English." "Naturally, Your Majesty." "Your Majesty, I beg your indulgence." "My indulgente, General Sapt, is the roulette, as my presence..." "here would indicate." "Consider the affairs of state." "The King is not adverse to affairs." "Sire, we must talk." "It's urgent." "Very well." "Apparently I must go now." "If your engagements permit,... perhaps you'd like to assist my coronation." "Practically everyone's coming." "It would be a great honor, Your Majesty." "The affairs of my State are not half as interesting... as the state of my affairs, I shall deliver the invitation... personally, there in your mailbox." "Vile man!" "You've gone too far, Your Majesty!" "I am a count, don't forget." "Oh yes, I shall remember." "16 red." "Drat!" "I didn't bet on it." "Oh it's nothing." ""Develop a headache and I'll cure it at the Cafe Royal." "Your Majesty"." "What do you mean I'm imperiled?" "I'm a king!" "Sire, king in name only." "You still haven't sat on the throne... and Michael vows you never will." "How dreadfully unfair to have a half-brother as rotten as Michael." "If my father had been half a man he would never have let... my half-mother run off with that half breed." "If only my half-sister had lived..." "Don't be imprudent." "Let us return to the embassy and make an early night of it." "I shall do no such thing." "I am going to the Cafe Royal." "Wherever you go, Sire, we shall be at your side." "Maintain your distance, young Fritz,... or you'll embarrass the lady and your king." "Cafe Royal, driver." "Would you like flowers, Sir?" "How lovely!" "More bubbly." "Your Majesty." "No, don't serve it." "Just leave it there and be off." "We have mountains to climb." "Yes, Your Majesty." "Natalie, you like me, don't you?" "You try to pretend you don't but I know you like me." "No, no more bubbly for me." "I must keep a clear head for what I have to tell you." "Tell me only what I want to hear." "Call me Rudy." "Rudy." "Rudy,..." "Rudy, Rudy..." "I think he suspects us." "Who?" "My husband, the Count." "You have been very reckless." "In Biarritz you were quite flagrant." "And in Baden-Baden, blatantly bold in the bath." "Do you remember?" "Yes." "How can I avoid being reckless." "When I'm driven to insanity by your maddening beauty." "Mate!" "Haven't seen you around here before." "This is my beat, mate." "You're trespassing and got no license." "I'm talking to you." "If you don't get up out of it I'll call the copper on you." "Is that your last word?" "Not you." "My God, you're beautiful!" "Natalie I want you now..." "Your Majesty, my leg." "Yes, it's lovely." "That is yours." "Yes, yes undo it soon." "No, undo it no." "Let me undo something." "And a married woman, at that..." "A scandal now, with the coronation at hand." "It will rock all of Europe." "Pardon." "Won't you join us?" "No." "Please do." "Thank you, gentleman, perhaps another time." "That's not your father, is it?" "No." "I must ask you to leave and forget what you've seen." "Pardon, monsieur." "Your highness." "You're so beautiful..." "Just as I suspected!" "King or no King, tonight..." "you die like a dog." "No, wait." "Montparnasse wait." "You are a count and a gentleman." "I am a king and a gentleman." "At least allow me the privilege of a duel, sir." "Very well, Sire." "I am a man of honor." "You will have your duel." "Permit me to choose my weapon." "Of course." "I bow to your request." "Coward!" "Swine!" "May I?" "Let me go, please." "Let me go." "We must get him out of here." "That does it, mate." "Told you five times and now I..." "Help!" "Man on fire!" "Help!" "Help!" "Cabbie." "Yes, governor." "Thank heavens the King is safe." "But for how long?" "Where to, govenor?" "The Ruritanian embassy." "Belgrave Square." "And thank you for your assistance, good man." "It was nothing." "It's none of my business but... what was all that ruckus back there about?" "Well you see, this man..." "A mistaken identity, no doubt." "Who's he, then, the man in the iron mask?" "Please drive straight on, we're in a great hurry." "Yes, governor." "Something wrong?" "No, nothing wrong." "Sorry, cabbie." "Drive on." "Right." "Come on, Sylvie." "I do believe a solution to our problem... has just stared us in the face." "I must admit your offer is very tempting and generous." "I've never been abroad, let alone to where was that?" "Ruritania." "Right." "Royal coachman." "I'll be!" "And, so why me?" "In the first place, Ruritanian coachmen are really bad drivers." "And more important." "I consider myself to be an excellent judge of character, Mr...." "Frewin." "Sydney Frewin." "Sydney Frewin." "That's right." "It all sounds very tempting." "But if I were to accept,... what would I do with poor Sylvie?" "Couldn't just leave her like that." "Bring her with you" "No." "Wouldn't work." "Her lungs are gone, she's deaf as a post." "I know what you all say." "You all say have her shot but,..." "I couldn't do it." "The English shoot their women?" "He's talking about his horse." "Yeah." "Oh, yes." "Sylvie is my horse." "I'm not married." "No." "I'm sure we can arrange something appropriate for Sylvie." "Right." "Right." "Hello, Syl." "How are you?" "Didn't recognize me in my new getup, did you?" "I made sure you're going to be all right." "You are going to be an embassy horse." "You're going to live in this lovely stable... have your own personal groom, like a thoroughbred." "Sugar and apples everyday and on top of that,..." "I've got you diplomatic immunity." "Know that that means?" "You can pee whenever you like." "Think about it." "I'll see you later." "Incredible." "Amazing." "The likeness is notable." "Does he have any breeding?" "Or does he have any royal blood?" "No, he's a very common commoner." "Does he know the real reason we've contracted him?" "No, Sire, last night we were careful he did not see your face." "Don't mention last night, I have a dreadful headache." "Yes, they said it was a most nasty fall you had, Sir." "Yes, very nasty." "Nasty." "So I take it your plan is that you and I return home in secret." "Yes, Sire." "We will take a northern route." "And young Fritz will take the decoy on the train... that Michael will expect." "Is the wretched fellow's life not worth a fig?" "Can we use him with such callous disregard?" "Sir, the alternative would be to endanger your own life." "Yes, of course." "You're right, Sapt." "Proceed." "Yes, Sire." "Stop!" "There you are." "Your disguise does not fool me." "I am not intimidated by your station, Sire." "I demand satisfaction." "Your flagrant flirtation insults my wife... and thereby you insult me." "Think twice, Sire, before you pick up the gauntlet." "I advise you, I am the finest swordsman in all Europe." "And should you accept my challenge I shall first of all... and you will find my initials carved upon your cheek." "Then..." "Pardon, I will slit you from your groin... to your gullet." "What do you think of that, Sire?" "Up yours, mate." "Wait here." "I'll see if our escort has arrived." "Yes, sir." "I won't move." "In here, please, sir." "Listen, dear man." "I am traveling with your new king, Rudolf,... taking him back to Ruritania for his coronation." "Here are his royal papers, and here are mine." "Please be quick, the King is very impatient,... we don't want to waste time and the royal coach is waiting." "His Majesty is very restless." "Go to Duke Michael with the news." "The King returns to Ruritania." "It's the King!" "You alright?" "Are you sure?" "What's going on here?" "Don't know." "People keep falling over." "This girl just got clobbered with a bucket of paint." "Well this sort of thing happens in Ruritania." "Follow me." "No, not yet." "We don't need you to start your duties yet." "Right, sir, right." "After you, sir." "No." "After you, sir." "No, after you." "Please, get in the carriage." "That's not the way it's done." "I should open the door for you." "Please, I insist." "Right." "You're the governor." "Welcome to my lodge, sir." "You used to come to play here when you were a boy, you know." "This dreadful place." "Yes, I remember it." "For the love of God, help me get off this wretched creature!" "Help His Majesty." "May I presume that you will offer me some minimum of creature comfort?" "But of course, Your Majesty." "Your Majesty." "Hello." "Must do your heart good... to be back here in your native land." "I'll listen to my heart when I've rested my ass." "Now remember, we must take the King alive." "What's happening, sir?" "We're being attacked, Frewin." "Don't worry, Frewin, they're no match for the royal guard." "So, nothing to worry about then." "No." "Take them!" "Get out!" "He's trying to cut the horses loose." "We're driverless, Frewin." "Not while I'm here, we're not." "Careful of Rupert, sir." "Let me go." "Here, grab hold of this." "Cheerio." "Well fought, Your Majesty." "God save Your Majesty." "Thank you, Frewin." "That's alright, governor." "Sire." "Your Majesty." "Your Majesty." "Frewin, thank God your safe." "General, I'd like some answers." "Something very strange is going on around here." "On the way we were attacked by a bunch of highwaymen." "We managed to shake them off." "After the attack,... two soldiers rode up and called me "Your Majesty"." "Just as I was walking in, two servants called me the same thing." "What I want to know is..." "Hello, Mr. Frewin." "Sapt, I think it's time Frewin and I were properly introduced." "Of course, sir." "Your Majesty, may I present Mr. Sydney Frewin, of London." "Mr. Frewin, His Majesty King Rudolf of Ruritania." "Could I have a large whisky please." "Johann, go to bed." "Yes, sir." "Joseph, bring me a touch more." "Of 68." "Certainly, sir." "Leave it and knock on the door." "Bur sir I always..." "Can you please just fetch the wine." "As you wish." "I mean..." "Who would have thought?" "Sid Frewin, hobnobbing with the royals." "If I went down to my pub and said:..." "Guess where I was last week?" "No, Frewin." "This tale must never be told." "Who'd believe it anyway." "Me, the spitting image of the King." "It's gotta be a laugh." "Yes, a laugh." "Thank you." "You really are a decent chap." "Did your father like England?" "Of course he liked England." "Especially London." "He adored the "music hall"." "The actresses... were his real weakness." "Thereby goes the tale, or two or three." "My mom was an actress." "Sissy Frewin." "And who was your father?" "I never knew him, he disappeared... before I was born." "Fritz!" "Yes?" "Go an see what's keeping that miserable, wretched servant." "We need more wine." "Yes, sir." "She was a sweet little dicky bird." "Tweet, tweet, tweet he went." "Softly she sang to me... 'til all my money was spent." "Where'd you learn that?" "It was my one of my father's favorites." "Joseph has finished our wine, he's lying in a pool of claret." "Well that's not like him." "Show me, boy." "Excuse me, Your Majesty." "Excuse me, Mr. Frewin." "I know my own fraility." "I don't serve to rule Ruritania." "From what I've heard, you're a lot better than Michael." "What a character he must be, trying to kill his own brother." "You see?" "Drunk as a lord." "He's not drunk Fritz, he's...alive." "Help me get him up." "Got to focus it." "Look at that." "`Ol General Sapt bit of a dark horse... keeping these around the house." "You'd never guess it to look at him." "All out there like that." "Oh it's amazing, like you can put your hand down and touch it." "This one's got no knickers on." "Never knew Bo-Peep was like that." "Come one, Fritz." "He'll be fine." "Softly she sang to me 'til all my money was spent." "There's the old King." "I see the very likeness." "Majesty, Majesty!" "Hello." "Where's His Majesty?" "On the couch." "On the couch?" "He was here." "Majesty, Majesty!" "Majesty!" "Fritz, they've got His Majesty!" "Quickly!" "Majesty." "Hentzau, you've gone too far!" "No!" "You could hit the King." "I'll saddle the horses." "It's too late." "Those devils have taken the King." "All is lost." "Who's taken the King?" "That blasted Rupert of Hentzau, Michael's henchman." "All is lost..." "I should have protected him." "I'll have to resign." "Silence!" "All is not lost." "All is not lost." "That is, if we can persuade our brave friend here... to play his role once more." "Play his role once more." "Where, what?" "The coronation, Mr. Frewin." "We desperately need your help." "You expect me to take his part in the corontation?" "Yes." "Sorry, gentleman." "Not for anything in the world." "And that is final." "My answer is no!" "Perhaps I should go and see if my brother is comfortable." "If he is, I'll have to chain a foot." "What a benevolent ruler you will make, Michael." "The day may come... when your insolence outweighs your usefulness." "Your Highness." "Bruno." "What an honor it is, sir... that you should favor this terrible place with your presence." "How is the prisoner?" "Awful,..." "I've put him in number 3." "The one with the most rats." "Good." "It's the darkest... and the dingiest, and there's also... the most terrible draft coming through the grating." "I've took the liberty of greasing the iron maiden." "Excellent." "It's good to think that this old place... might again echo to the screams of excrutiating agony." "How dare you inprison me in this ghastly place." "It will not be for long, brother." "Only until the crown of Ruritania sits on my head." "The crown is mine!" "The people will never give it to you." "What do you know about the people?" "I know the people." "You chose to play the fool and be a spendthrift." "Live your life in exile." "Your absence from the corononation... will be taken as the final insult." "The people will offer the crown to me... and I will accept it with a modest grace." "God bless you, sir." "Shut up!" "Yes, shut up!" "My lips are sealed, sir." "Michael, why do you hate me so?" "Because you're conceited,... arrogant, spineless, selfish, shallow, pompous and pitiful." "But apart from that?" "Farewell, Rudolf." "No, no Michael." "Michael!" "Take Flavia, she's yours." "Yes, the crown jewels, Michael." "You will love them." "You can have fat fun with them." "And the treasure, I have a treasure, Michael,..." "You'll love the treasure,..." "My butterfly collect..." "Rupert, you again." "Madame du Mauban, I am your eager servant." "You're a scoundrel, sir, without and ounce of honor or principle." "That's what I do best." "Well, second best." "If Michael catches you, he'll give you to Bruno." "If Michael becomes King he will marry Princess Flavia." "And you will be very lonely." "What are you talking about?" "Tomorrow Rudolf will be crowned King." "That depends on where Rudolf lies tonight." "Now then, My Grace, when the King shall kneel... you will proclaim:..." ""In the eyes of God and men..."" "Yes, yes." "I know all that." "I may be ninety-two,... but I'm sound in mind and body, in possession of all faculties... my brain is as alert and sharp as ever." "And with God's grace, long may it remain so." "Come in." "The King is late." "How can that be?" "Do you think he could be indisposed?" "I've told the archbishop... that you're suffering from a bad case of laryngitis." "You don't have to speak." "Just move your lips." "Anything you say, governor." "You're paying the rent." "Have I been betrayed?" "Not by me, sir." "What are you doing?" "Look at him." "I refuse." "Repeat after me." "I am the sword." "I am the shield." "And as I am King..." "Just crown him, Your Grace." "God save the King!" "God save the King!" "God save the King...!" "I, Flavia,... will be thy vassal and I will serve thee in truth... with love, life and limb." "Are you going?" "I absolutely refuse." "You must go." "I refuse. "Pardon"." "You first." "Merci." "Furthermore, Frewin, try to limit yourself to words like:..." ""yes, no, please, thank you"." "That's mad." "How can I only say:" ""yes, no, please, thank you"?" "They'll think I'm a looney." "No more than that, please." "Try at least to limit yourself to words with no 'r"s in them." "You may have noticed that the King has trouble with 'r"s." "Yes, I had that once." "You get it from sitting on damp grass." "Come in." "You'll be fine, Frewin." "No one in the court doubts that you're the King." "I have been instructred to present the faithful companion... of King Rudolf IV to his Majesty Rudolf V." "Sire, you remember your late father's faithful friend, Jasper?" "Hello Jasper, nice little doggie." "Get back!" "Take him to his quarters." "Or let him take you to his." "There's no brandy around his neck." "Jasper certainly believes your the King." "He can't stand Rudolf." "Yes indeed." "Custom dictates the King opens the ball with the first waltz." "In this case, your partner will be her Highness, Princess Flavia." "I take it you can waltz Frewin?" "Waltz?" "Of course I waltz." "Perhaps you would demonstrate." "Fritz, would you play the part of the Princess Flavia,... to demostrate to the General my skills in the arts." "Stop trying to lead, Fritz." "I've never seen our new King before,... but he's a bit odd." "He's in there dancing with another man." "It's not for the likes of you and me to question the royalty." "Yeah, well." "I guess you're right, Sarge." "Is it arranged?" "Yes, he's a dance from death." "We haven't seen each other for some time." "Perhaps three years?" "When you visited my country,... on the occassion of my father's funeral." "I remember the Shakespeare Hall,... you seem totally transformed by becoming King." "Your manner, your bearing, and certainly your dancing." "My honor demands satisfaction, Sire." "Gilles..." "Gilles, control yourself." "We are not here for revenge, but for the King's waltz." "I will have them both." "The Count believes you are the King." "You're not the King, sir." "I have danced with the King... and I know you and I have never met." "Could I have a word with you in private?" "I think you should." "Now, begging your pardon,... one word out of you and I'm gonna be right in it." "But I may not denounce you... if I know the reason for this masquerade." "Well, Michael has shanghaied the King... and I've been hired to take his place `cause I look like him." "Michael has what?" "He's shanghaied the King." "No." "Yeah, I'll tell you,..." "I was in London." "Your Majesty, I must talk with you." "It's urgent." "Excuse me." "Be careful, sir." "Your life is in danger." "Here, take this earring." "When you receive its twin, you'll know it comes from a friend." "Sire, please." "Please." "Leaving so early, brother?" "It would seem, imposter, that you have little stomach... for the perils that lie before of you." "It's intolerable." "It's you who began this dangerous game." "In what foreign gutter did you find this fool?" "That's it!" "Around the back." "Around the what?" "Outside, you and me." "By God, the fellow has spirit." "I must decline your invitation until a more suitable occassion." "All you got to do is name the place, the day, and the time." "Time is something you have very little of." "Your Majesty, please." "I must insist." "Your Majesty!" "The masquerade has all but ended." "You, leave us." "Leave us." "Yes, my Lord." "Miserable bastard." "I ought to go back and knock his head off." "Please, please." "What's it all about, General?" "What's going on round here?" "Frewin, don't concern yourself." "Don't concern myself?" "That's right." "Do you know what just happened?" "A woman gave me an earring and told me my life was in danger." "A lunatic count in there keeps threatening to slit my throat... and now this redhead in there tells me I haven't long to live." "So I shouldn't concern myself?" "There's nothing to worry about." "I want to go back to London." "I've done everything you've asked." "I got through the coronation without any trouble, right?" "I've come here,... danced the waltz you asked me to with the Princess Flavia..." "Frewin, go to bed and sleep soundly." "Your life could not be in safer hands." "Good gracious." ""Dear General and Fritz." "I'm sorry I've had to leave sudden without telling you... but I've had enough of this King game." "Thank you for your faith in me." "Yours truly, Sidney Frewin"." "Your Majesty." "How reckless, how daring!" "How...!" "How exciting!" "Sire, I've waited so long." "Ask anything, what can I offer?" "But of course, darling." "And the timing is perfect." "My husband and I had another quarrel." "He's spending the night at his embassy." "You can have me all for yourself." "What would be your greatest pleasure?" "Darling, but of course." "With us between them." "Darling, you excite me so much." "Who is it?" "Who is it?" "Hello, Jasper, what is is?" "Sire, you're more desirable than ever." "If you'll excuse me one moment." "I will go prepare myself for your majestic passion." "Hello, Jasper, what are you doing here?" "I can't walk you this time of night." "What is it?" "Wait, Jasper, come here." "What's he doing here?" "He's trying to tell us something." "Rudy, my Rudy, Rudy..." "Natalie?" "Darling, are you still awake?" "I beg your forgiveness, my love." "It is only that you have deprived me for so long." "You are, even now, so irresistable." "Please, I am on fire, "chérie"." "I love everything about you... your smell, your breasts, your waist,... your hips, your thighs, your boots." "You have put on the boots." "My naughty, naughty Natalie,..." "I have never seen these boots." "But something about them excites me." "I will unlace them with my teeth." "Natalie." "Natalie?" "What are you doing there?" "You are..." "It's nothing to do with me, mate." "I'm just on my way to London." "My sword!" "My King!" "My sheets!" "I'll kill him!" "Idiot!" "I'm coming." "Is it ready?" "It is." "One of my finest creations." "Will it work?" "Of course it will work." "All of my bombs work." "It will explode on impact." "So don't drop it until you get around the corner." "Monsieur Luc, this will buy your silence." "If is does not, my sword will." "Mums the word in my business." "Gently." "It's your turn." "It's a hard life, isn't it." "How's that?" "Good." "Tell me, what do you do in London?" "Horses." "I'm in the horse business." "Oh, how marvelous!" "I breed horses, too." "We could go riding together." "Yeah, well." "I don't exactly breed them." "I drive them, I'm a cabbie." "What?" "Handsome cab driver." "A very honorable profession." "Yeah." "Your name?" "Sidney Percival Frewin." "You have a very beautiful admirer." "It's not me she's after." "She's got a passion for kings." "She'd go after anything looks like a king, even Rudolf." "Beats me how any woman could have anything to do with that twit." "I'm sorry." "It's alright." "My father promised me to Rudolf when I was six years old." "Six years old?" "That's just not right." "And you mean to tell me there's nothing you can do?" "I can croquet you." "Can't you run away somewhere?" "I've thought about it." "I would take my conscience with me." "I tell you." "I've got it!" "Try to hit my ball." "That is a tricky lie...." "I've got an idea." "While I'm still with this king job, I could... just cancel your engagement with Rudolf." "I would be a traitor to my own country." "We could never survive without ruritanian potatoes." "Got to have the potatoes." "Yes." "Well." "Right there." "However,..." "there is something you could do." "Yeah?" "What?" "You could take me for a stroll in the garden." "Just the two of us." "This is the first time a Princess has ever asked me to take a walk." "Gilles!" "We need a fourth." "You can be yellow." "Bruno, I am your lawful King." "Let's not go through that again." "I have pledged unquestioned obedience and loyalty to Lord Michael." "But I can offer you untold wealth." "Untold wealth?" "Yes." "Bruno, free me and you will know luxury for the rest of your life." "I know you." "Once you're on the throne, we'll see." "Bruno?" "Never heard of him." "If you doubt me, Bruno." "If you doubt my intent." "Take this." "What is it?" "The royal ring." "A flawless ruby." "Is it valuable?" "It's my most precious possession." "It was stolen from the Habsburg's in 1563." "Yeah." "It is absolutely priceless." "Got anything else?" "If only we could lure the Englishman from the palace,... but that old Sapt guards him well." "You should let me dispose of Rudolf." "Don't be a fool!" "If I did that, that English oaf would rule for the rest of his life." "The imposter must die first and be buried in the cathedral as King." "And she continues." ""I cannot emphasize too strongly the urgency of this request." "Yours respectfully, Antoinnette du Mauban"." "Wait a minute." "Let me see if I understand this." "Michael's mistress, Antoinette,... wants me to meet her tonight, alone at a windmill." "At a windmill, yes." "At a windmill." "It's quite true this letter could be a trap." "But time is running against us." "We must force their hand." "We?" "We, yes." "Fritz, myself and you." "The letter says I'm to go alone." "We'll be with you, of course." "If it is a trap,..." "We'll be waiting in the shadows." "Tonight, you can determine the course of history." "I bloody well could, you know." "I could leave the things just as they are,..." "I could be King, marry Princess Flavia and rule this place." "Tha's a very good point." "You're not that kind of man." "How do you know?" "This letter is the last chance to save my King." "You see, Frewin, I feel about the crown,... as another man might feel about a woman, or his horse." "All right, then." "I knew I could rely on you." "Hang on, hang on..." "If I do this tonight, that's it." "This is my farewell appearance." "Stout fellow, Frewin." "Believe me, Mr. Frewin,... you will gain something from this affair that few men ever acquire." "Yeah, a pair of matched earrings." "Way I see it, if we do rescue Rudolf, then I won't be seeing you again." "And if we don't, I know I won't be seeing you again." "So I though, well, I thought I'd like to see you again." "I've wanted to see you, too." "I think it's disgraceful of Sapt to ask this of you." "Well I can't break my word now." "Besides, I'm being well paid." "Yes, if you live to collect it." "Sid, I admire your sense of duty and your courage, but... don't you see, you're just being used." "Only in the same way that you are in your marriage to Rudolf." "Sid, I didn't choose to be a Princess." "And since I met you, I've wished I wasn't." "But I have to do what is expected of me." "You mean ruritanian potatoes?" "Yes." "Oh yeah." "Well, quicker I get started, the quicker it'll be over." "Goodbye, Princess." "It's been lovely." "I'll pray for you." "And I'll dream about you for the rest of my life." "Thank you, General." "From here, proceed on foot as if you were alone." "We will follow close behind." "If you're in any danger, give the hoot of an owl." "Like so." "Is that a barn owl or a tawny owl?" "Fritz, please." "Do the owl." "I'm sorry, General, I can't do owls." "It's vital." "The secret signal is the hoot of an owl." "Sorry, General, why can't you have... a secret chicken signal instead of a secret owl signal?" "Why does it got to be an owl?" "You look ravishing." "From here you proceed on foot as if you were alone." "We'll be close behind and once the Englishman is with you,... call us like so." "With the hoot of an owl." "I can't do an owl." "You can't do an owl?" "I can't do an owl." "What can you do?" "I think I could do a chicken." "A chicken?" "Fine, fine." "You be a chicken." "I'll be an owl." "Let me hear your chicken." "This is my night chicken." "It's real, it's got that something..." "Admit it." "God go with you, Frewin." "It's better that way." "Well, it's an improvement." "You know your part, now play it well." "Well, Lady, here I am." "Where's the King?" "First you must promise me that no harm will come to Michael." "I promise I won't hurt him, but I can't speak for anyone else." "I'll do what I can." "Alright." "The King is being held prisoner in the dungeons of Zenda." "If you attack the castle, Michael's men will kill him immediately." "Go on." "So someone has to gain entrance secretly into Zenda... and do something." "And I will manage to help them somehow." "That's a great plan." "Why are you doing all this?" "Becuase I'm a very jealous woman." "The Princess?" "Yeah." "Right, it all fits." "And we thought this was a trap." "But it is." "What?" "The sign." "The secret chicken." "He did an owl." "She did an owl." "He's over there." "Stop, stop." "Why?" "That's my signal." "You do chickens, as well?" "Yes." "We're surrounded." "Surrounded by owls." "Here they come." "I'll tell them it wasn't my signal." "It was a chicken." "Right." "Let there be light." "Well done, madame." "But that fool of an Englishman has brought some friends with him." "Where is he?" "He's escaped." "A sitting duck." "General, General." "Well done, Frewin." "The King is prisoner in Zenda." "Right." "Where are you going?" "I think I've got an idea." "An idea." "Well done and thank you, Frewin!" "Fritz." "Careful, sir." "I would hate to spill the blood of a lady." "Put your swords down." "You villain." "Hentzau, is there no limit to you infamy?" "None that I've yet discovered, sir." "After him!" "After him!" "Back to Zenda." "Make it fast." "That's enough!" "Where is the Englishman?" "The night was theirs." "The rat nibbled the cheese, the trap was sprung but he escaped." "Really." "Did you betray me, madam?" "They came prepared." "By who's word?" "You!" "Guards, guards!" "Frewin,..." "I am frightfully sorry, really." "Yeah, so am I." "Must be a bit of a bother... walking around the spitting image of each other,... but I'm going to change all that with the help of the lovely Elaina." "You're going to love this." "I open it up like that... then I sit you down on this nice little seat,... place your feet there, and then, gently... lower this piece so it fits snug on your head, like that." "And then adjust the nose piece... give it a couple of turns, to break it a little." "With this little instrument you can do a couple of things." "Pull out a few teeth... or put the tongue in and twist it." "I call it `tonguetwister"." "But the best part, is the ear." "You see you just tweak it like that." "Elaina, that's not very nice." "Let me out." "You twit." "Oh, you're a naughty girl." "What are you doing in there?" "Getting out, sir." "Just demonstrating." "Demonstrating..." "Yes, very successfully, too." "Idiot!" "Well, gentleman." "At last everything is as it should be." "It won't be long now, brother... before a tragic accident befall you... and the reign of Rudolf V will come to a grisly end." "And Ruritania will have the monarch she deserves." "And as for you, play actor,..." "I believe you've come through this affair with honor,... therefore I extend you the courtesy of chivalry, please." "And die quickly and cleanly by the sword." "Stop, Michael!" "Let them go." "What the devil...?" "I mean it, Michael." "Let them go." "Put that away, Madame." "You don't even know how to use it." "Kill him, Frewin, kill him." "No, you promised!" "If he's to die, let it be by my hands." "Just go, quickly." "Have you gone mad?" "Don't step another inch, Michael... or I swear I shall shoot again." "Thank you very much, Miss." "I'll return your earrings one day." "Stupid woman!" "If they escape, it means exile, or worse." "And if they don't, I'd as soon be dead." "Is there anything I can do?" "Gentleman, our King is in danger." "We ride at once for Zenda." "Go!" "I promise you that Flavia will be my queen,... in name only." "You'll always be my one love." "I wish I could believe that." "If only she wasn't so beautiful." "No woman is so beautiful that she could cool my passion for you." "Now then, who taught you to shoot?" "Hentzau?" "Has Rupert been stalking you?" "I haven't been unfaithful to you." "No wonder you love him." "How dare you laugh at me." "I am the rightful King." "Make way and stop laughing, Rupert." "You are no king of mine, sir." "Oh yes, he is." "He may be a bit of a twit, but he's still the King." "You haven't by any chance disposed of Michael, have you?" "No, not yet." "Then I'll continue to serve his cause." "Your Majesty, prepare to die." "Up yours." "Rudolf, go hide, quick." "I hope you'll die with grace, Englishman." "You're a bit special with that knitting needle." "But how about... the old man to man?" "No, I prefer the arts the way they are." "You have any idea how that laugh drives people up the wall?" "In the name of the King." "It's the royal guard." "Shall I swim the moat, uncle?" "And then what?" "Well you have nothing more to fear, Englishman." "I am no longer your enemy." "With the royal guard at the gate... for a soldier of fortune like I, there is only one noble course." "What's that?" "Surrender?" "Never." "Simply change sides." "Do I hear an offer for my services?" "You're hired." "Ah, so you've caught one of them." "Well done." "Now where is Rudolf?" "Go and find the King, Englishman." "It'll be my extreme pleasure to dispense with Michael." "You're mad, Hentzau." "Treachery." "Guards!" "Open up in the name of the King!" "I'm off to the drawbridge." "You must find the King." "Right." "Stop Hentzau." "He's a traitor." "We must find the King." "Without him as hostage, all is lost." "You two, that way." "There you are!" "Where?" "There." "There you are." "Yes, yes I am." "Hello, Montparnasse." "How is your enchanting wife?" "My wife?" "I will slit you from your groin... until your gullet." "Help!" "Montparnasse, you are so cruel." "You alright, Rudolf?" "I am now, thank you." "Come on, let's go." "We haven't discussed my fee yet." "Not now, Rupert." "How do you lower the drawbridge?" "I'll handle that." "Put the King in the basket." "Quick, Rudolf, in the basket." "But I just got out of one." "Oh!" "One King coming up!" "You two, get Hentzau." "Please don't kill me, please." "I surrender." "Grab hold of something, Sire." "Help!" "Open up in the name of the King." "Tell the King I'll report next week." "Frewin!" "Help me!" "Frewin." "I've got you." "Hold onto me." "Quick, through there." "They've got to be in here." "Break it down." "We're trapped." "Not yet, we're not." "We'll jump into the water." "But I can't swim." "That's alright, mate." "Neither can I. Come on." "I'm too young to die." "So am I." "Let's go." "Help!" "I arrest you in the name of His Majesty, the King." "Where is His Majesty, they King?" "You traitor." "Take him away." "Uncle...!" "Which one's the King, uncle?" "Welcome, Your Majesty." "We've missed you." "There must be a slight mistake." "Tell me your name, dearest." "By all means." "The name is Frewin." "Sidney Frewin." "16, always the 16." "I now pronounce you man and wife." "You all right?" "Walk on, Sylvie!"