"If you're trying to frighten me, then you've succeeded." "Does that make you happy?" "You know, 15 years on the force..." "I still can't look at something like that." "You're a gem." "You're a little flawed and you're not too bright, but you're one of a kind." "That's the guy." "I just won't be a hypocrite." "I know what she did to you." "I've had this coat for seven years." "Oh, you poor man!" "You're gonna be a lot sorrier, Lieutenant... if you don't stop following me around." "Paul?" "Please, Frances." "Can't you see the light?" "I'm developing film." "You've been in there for over an hour." "Be a minute or two." "I'll be right out." "Hurry up." "I'm tired of waiting around." "Do you know what time it is?" "It's past noon." "I'm sorry." "The auction at Lilleby's starts at 2:00." "I'll barely have time to eat." "While I think of it..." "I want you to speak to Mrs. Moyland tomorrow... when she comes in to work." "Her work is just not acceptable." "The kitchen's a disgrace." "Yes, I'll speak to her." "If you want to get downtown by 2:00... we'd better leave now." "The ranch is only 20 minutes away." "Ah, yes, the ranch." "Your new little hideaway." "Frances, you said you'd look at it with an open mind." "I am going to loathe it." "You know that perfectly well." "Really, you're incredible." "Buying a ranch without even consulting me." "It's something I want." "You want." "Always what Paul wants." "Never mind that I'm going to be stuck out there... with the pigs and the chickens." "Stop it!" "That was unnecessary." "I'm not so sure that I should even go and see this silly ranch of yours now." "Please." "You did promise." "All right." "But let's get it over with." "Just a quick look... and then you have to take me straight to Lilleby's." "They're auctioning off... the most divine Revere tea set." "You really think that you're going to go... running off to the Philippines... with that charming little Lorna... and leave me to rot in this shanty?" "Please leave Lorna out of this." "She's an employee, that's all." "There's nothing between us." "Just as I thought." "Unbelievable." "We could certainly start a fire going at that fireplace." "We can use some of this charming furniture to get it going." "The kitchen." "Early American built in some grease for wallpaper." "Just lovely." "When was the last time this was cleaned?" "If ever." "I just thank heavens... that I got to see it before you paid any money for it." "I am assuming, of course, that this is the main house... and not the barn." "And what is this now, 2:00?" "You can't even tell time." "Why it's only 12:45." "What are you..." "Paul, what are you doing?" "Paul?" "That hurts." "Now, if this is some sort of a joke, must I remind you... that you have no sense of humor... and you'll never have." "None at all." "And this is the final proof of it." "Untie me, do you hear me?" "Untie me!" "Oh, this is too stupid!" "Not very funny." "Paul, what do you think you're doing?" "If you're trying to frighten me, then you've succeeded." "Does that make you happy?" "Really, Frances." "It's nice to know after 15 years..." "I'm finally succeeding at something in your eyes." "Silly man." "God, you pathetic man." "Another one?" "Stupid little game." "For three years, Frances, I was... chained to you." "Like a... monkey chained to an organ grinder." "Whatever tune you played, I had to dance, Frances." "Paul, let me ask you something." "What is it you're trying to do?" "Are you trying to frighten me... with some newfound masculinity?" "I have this... dream, Frances." "I'm working... and there's a phone call and he says, "Terribly sorry, Mr. Galesko, but..." ""your wife's dead." "Unfortunate accident. "" "And then I always wake up and I want to cry." "Because you're still alive, Frances." "And I have nothing to face that day... but another 24 hours... with a domineering, nagging... suffocating woman who took all the joy out of my life." "Paul, don't be a fool." "They'll know you did it." "I don't think so." "Not if everything works." "You'll never get away with it." "And if not... it's a chance I'm going to take." "Untie me." "Untie me!" "Hello, Paul Galesko Studios." "Lorna, it's me." "Paul." "Where are you?" "We have a 2:30 sitting this afternoon with Charles Plummer." "Oh, I thought we'd canceled it." "Well, look, I'm at a gas station up near Palmdale." "I want to shoot a few desert things." "Can you call Charlie and put him off till tomorrow?" "All right." "I'll try to catch him." "Lorna, about that offer I had from Ray... a trip to the Philippines?" "Yes?" "I think we'll do it." "Just the two of us." "Oh, Paul, that's wonderful!" "Thank you." "But what about Mrs. Galesko?" "We talked it over." "She thinks it's a fine idea." "I'll fill you in later." "You just go out and get yourself a passport, okay?" "Will this afternoon be quick enough?" "Sounds good." "See you." "Here you are, Mr. Galesko." "That'll be $12.96 with the oil." "Thank you." "After 2:00?" "Is that clock right?" "Mine says three minutes after 2:00." "Nope." "Ten after." "Clock's always right." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Here you are." "Hi, Al." "Hi, Mr. Galesko." "Sorry I'm late, Al." "I was delayed at a service station down the road." "I understand." "I see you rented a car." "Just like you told me to." "Lovely out here, isn't it?" "Oh, yeah." "Green, wet." "Just like it should be." "You don't have to tell me about that, I mean... after five years of not seeing trees and grass." "You know, it's been three weeks... and I still can't get used to going out." "I mean, wherever I want to and whenever I want to." "Mr. Galesko, I know you don't want me to thank you, but... you know, a guy getting out of prison, he ain't got much chance... and I just want to tell you I'm grateful, that's all." "Al, I liked the ranch very much." "Just what I wanted you to get for me." "That's good." "You didn't mention my name?" "Oh, no sir." "As far as the real estate people know... it's all in my name." "And I looked the place over real good... and it's sound, a real sound place." "Al, here's another advance for you." "I hate having our relationship be so quiet... but you understand, you know... if the real estate people... knew that I was the buyer, why, the price would double." "No, that's all..." "I understand." "Al, tomorrow morning..." "I'd like to go take another look at that abandoned junkyard." "They're asking an awful lot for that." "Yeah, but... good location." "Why don't you meet me there tomorrow morning?" "I don't know what time." "I'll tell you why don't you call me tomorrow morning... from your motel around 10:00?" "We'll set a time." "Yes, sir." "I'll call you at exactly 10:00." "Good." "Al, I guess I don't need you any more today." "Okay." "See you." "All right." "Mr. Galesko." "I think maybe I ought to tell you, somebody broke into my motel room and took the camera you told me to buy." "Oh?" "Yeah." "I can't find it and I thought... maybe you might need it to take more pictures." "No, I don't think we'll need it again, Al." "As a matter of fact, I'm positive." "Okay." "Bye." "Oh, Mrs. Moyland." "Good morning, sir." "Yes, morning." "I went by the store and picked up some green tea and honey." "Mrs. Galesko was complaining some... about her stomach on Wednesday." "Is she better, sir?" "What?" "Oh, yes." "I suppose so." "Still asleep, is she?" "Let me go fix her something." "No!" "I mean..." "Mrs. Galesko isn't here." "She's visiting relatives." "Oh?" "That's strange, her going off." "With the symphony opening tonight... and her buying that new dress and all." "Mrs. Moyland, please." "My wife's whereabouts are none of your concern." "Now, is that clear?" "Yes, sir." "If anyone calls or anyone enquires about her, you're to say... she's away and that's all." "Just away." "You don't know how to get in touch with her." "As you say, sir." "No!" "I'll get it." "Hello?" "Mr. Galesko?" "Yes." "This is Alvin Deschler." "Yes, I've been expecting your call." "Yeah, you remember you told me... to call you today about meeting you sometime at the junkyard?" "I can arrange that." "Is there something wrong?" "No, no." "What time do you want me to be there?" "Well, that's up to you, sir." "Anytime." "5:00?" "That's fine." "I'll be right on time." "Yes, sir." "Hello?" "Can I speak to her?" "Please." "Yes." "Yes, I understand." "No, I'll do exactly as you say." "But I..." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Mrs. Moyland, I have to go out." "Sir, I couldn't help but hear..." "Please, Mrs. Moyland, you heard nothing." "Just do as I say." "Don't ask any questions." "All right, sir." "Paul, this is insanity." "You must call the police." "You saw the note." "That picture." "Ray, if it's the money, I told you, it's just a loan." "Oh, no." "I don't care about the money, my friend." "Ray, don't make me sorry I took you into my confidence." "At least let me go with you." "No." "This is something I have to do myself, Ray." "I'm concerned for your safety." "Thanks." "I thought you got in an accident or something." "Al, I'm afraid I couldn't help that." "Take a look at this." "Somebody's got your wife?" "Looks that way, Al." "Wow." "Do you..." "You have any idea who took her?" "I'm sorry, Al." "It's going to have to look like you did." "Hey!" "Hey!" "What's the matter?" "I heard a couple of shots or something." "What are you doing here?" "I was resting in my car, and all of a sudden, I heard some..." "That's blood!" "You're bleeding, mister." "A phone." "I have to get to a phone." "I don't have a phone." "Maybe you can use the phone... down at the gas station." "He's a nice guy." "Unit 211, 10-4." "The lab boys are on the way, Sarge." "Okay." "Any word on the other guy?" "He'll be okay." "Got it in the leg, that's all." "Go back, go back!" "Out of business." "I'm sorry, sir." "This place has been out of business for months." "Oh, no." "I'm Lieutenant Columbo." "I'm here to see... a Sergeant Hoffman." "Oh, I see." "Around the corner and in the back." "All right." "Thank you." "I'll just leave it here." "I think it'll be all right." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "Okay." "This is Hoffman, out on Devlin Road." "On that 411." "I'm going to need a second ambulance here." "10-4." "Second unit has been dispatched." "You got anybody checking out that motel room?" "Affirmative." "A unit is on the way." "10-4." "Sergeant Hoffman?" "You Columbo?" "Right." "You know what happened here?" "They didn't tell me much." "Just that couple of guys got shot." "That's all I know." "You got everything all cleared up here?" "Okay." "Yes, sir." "Just waiting for..." "This guy's name is Alvin Deschler." "Paul Galesko, the other one... he's on his way to the hospital." "Got it in the leg." "He's going to be okay." "What happened?" "Careful how you handle this." "Lab guys are on the way." "Looks like Deschler grabbed Galesko's wife." "Wanted $20,000." "I got the money in the squad car." "Small bills." "You know the routine." "Anyway, when Galesko shows up..." "Deschler grabs a gun and tries to kill him." "This is the wife?" "Yeah." "Too bad for Deschler..." "Galesko was carrying a gun of his own." "Where is she?" "We don't know." "We don't know?" "You mean, the husband shot the kidnapper... before he found out where his wife was?" "I don't think he had much choice." "What else you got?" "Deschler was driving a rented car." "We found the contract in the glove compartment." "And his personal effects..." "Hey, hold it!" "$200... his driver's license." "You want to know what happened?" "Cut it out." "Hey, listen." "I heard everything." "You want to know what happened?" "I'll tell you what happened." "I was in the van taking a rest..." "Come on, Pop." "I'll buy you a cup of coffee." "You don't understand!" "I heard everything." "All right, Officer." "It's all right." "The old man was boozing it up... in one of the cars over by the shack." "He says he heard the shots." "I asked him what happened... but he wants to give his statement downtown." "All right, Officer, you take this gentleman downtown... and see to it that he's fed and he gets a good place to rest." "Yes sir." "You're okay, pal." "I'll say a good word for you down at the station." "Unit from SID is here, Sergeant." "I'll be right over." "Excuse me." "Listen, maybe I ought to see the other guy, Galesko." "What hospital is he at?" "This may hurt a little." "It already hurts, Doctor." "I just want to get out of here." "Mr. Galesko?" "Yes." "Yes, I'm Paul Galesko." "Lieutenant Columbo, police." "I just want to tell you, sir, we're doing everything we can to locate your wife." "We're checking that man's motel room right now." "Lieutenant, she's not being held in a motel room." "You saw the picture." "That place..." "That awful place." "All right, just take it easy, sir." "I have a feeling, Lieutenant." "No, it's more than a feeling." "She's dead." "I know it." "I wouldn't say that, sir." "Surely, if he tried to kill me... he wouldn't have any hesitation... about killing a defenseless woman." "Look at it this way." "If you had demanded additional proof that she was alive... he would have to keep her alive on that possibility alone." "Yes." "Yes, I see what you mean." "Oh." "That's a nasty looking wound." "You know, 15 years on the force..." "I still can't look at something like that." "Mr. Galesko was lucky, Lieutenant." "It caught the fleshy part of the leg." "No bones or arteries were hit." "I'd appreciate it, sir, if you told us what happened." "When you first noticed that your wife was missing... how the man contacted you, everything you know." "It was Thursday morning." "I drove her downtown, dropped her off." "It must have been shortly after noon." "She wanted to go to an auction and... she was going to take a cab home." "Then you didn't go to the auction with her?" "No." "I had some pictures to take... in a... mountain area up north of the Valley." "I'm a photographer, Lieutenant... on an assignment with a magazine." "Yes, sir, go on." "I got home around 8:30, I suppose." "Frances wasn't there." "I got a little nervous and I called..." "I called few friends." "They hadn't heard from her." "And around midnight, I guess, I finally called the police... but they said... there really wasn't anything they could do... until she was missing for 24 hours." "Yes, sir." "I believe that is the procedure." "And then... the next morning I found that note... slipped under the door." "The note and... the picture of Frances." "All right." "Take it easy, sir." "Just a couple more questions." "Did you recognize the room in the photograph?" "No." "Now, you just waited to hear from the man, is that right?" "Yes, he..." "He called around 10:00 in the morning." "He said to get $20,000 in small bills together... and he set a meeting place." "Were you prepared to hand over the money?" "Of course, yes." "I got the money from my publisher." "But you had a gun?" "Yes, Lieutenant." "But for my own safety." "Right." "And he pulled his gun first, is that right?" "Yes." "Yes he did." "He fired wildly, hit me in the leg... and then I grabbed my gun and..." "It's too bad that my aim wasn't... a little more off, he'd be alive to tell us... where Frances is." "Pardon me." "Lieutenant Columbo..." "Sergeant Hoffman is on the phone." "They just got in that guy's motel room." "Well... we've got Deschler nailed for the kidnapping, Lieutenant." "Take a look." "Where'd you find this stuff?" "Newspaper was lying on this chair." "Glue and scissors in the drawers... camera in the second drawer of the dresser." "And certainly not stolen by any of my people." "Sir?" "Charles Victor." "I'm the manager of this motel." "For two days, Mr. Deschler's been insisting... someone got into his room and stole his precious camera." "Obviously, he's had it here all along." "Is this the camera that took the picture?" "See for yourself." "Yeah." "It is a funny-looking camera." "I've never seen one like it before." "It's an old model." "I used to have one myself." "Now, we're sending the glue and the newspaper down to the lab." "Well, I'll lay you odds, it matches up with the ransom note." "You say he reported this camera missing." "When was that?" "Tuesday, Wednesday..." "I'm not sure." "Let me ask you something, Mr. Victor." "Do you know where Mr. Deschler was on Thursday and Friday?" "Out, I'm sure." "At least Thursday." "Friday, I'm not sure." "Do you know if he made a phone call on, say, Friday morning?" "We can check the log." "Don't go away." "I'll be back." "Yes, here it is." "Friday morning." "He did make one call at 10:00." "A toll call to... 555-6904." "Can I look at this?" "555-6904." "That's Paul Galesko's number." "Morning, Lieutenant." "You know, you could use some sleep and a shave." "I got a couple of hours on the sofa." "Why don't you go home and sack out?" "You got this case locked up." "You think so, huh?" "Take a look at Deschler's sheet." "It's there on the counter." "Get me a cup of coffee, will you, please?" "Released from San Quentin... three weeks ago after serving five years on an extortion conviction." "Well... now you've really got him, Lieutenant." "Tell me something, Sergeant." "Do you see anything in there... that says that Deschler was stupid?" "Because if he left that camera and that newspaper... and that glue laying around like that, he's stupid." "Everybody makes mistakes." "That's why the jails are all full up." "Anything on the Galesko woman?" "Checking out a lead in the Valley." "Some real estate guy named MacGruder." "All right." "I'm going to check out this guy Dolan." "The wino?" "We let him go an hour ago." "Good thing, too." "There's nothing worse than a sober drunk." "You let him go?" "Mmm-hmm." "Do me a favor, would you?" "Would you talk to the Medical Examiner... find out if there were any traces of nitrate on Deschler's hand." "Now, what do you think, Lieutenant?" "Now, you really think that Deschler didn't shoot Galesko in the leg?" "I'll tell you something, Sergeant." "I don't know what to think." "Sergeant Hoffman." "Yeah?" "Hold it, Lieutenant!" "Yeah?" "Where?" "I see." "I'll be right over." "They just found the Galesko woman." "Dead." "Hold it." "Here he comes." "Roger." "Over and out." "Frances!" "Take it easy." "Take it easy." "Now, get control of yourself." "You'll need an identification for the records." "Yes, sir." "I'd like to be with her in the ambulance." "Yes, sir." "Thank you, Lieutenant." "And there is no question in your mind that this is Mr. Deschler... the man you sold the ranch to?" "Yeah, that's the man." "Alvin Deschler." "Lieutenant." "This is Mr. MacGruder." "He sold Deschler the ranch a few days ago." "How do you do, sir?" "He showed up in a cab every morning for a week." "Him and that camera." "I must have shown him three dozen places... before he finally settled on this." "I should have known." "The first time I saw him, I should have known." "Should have known what, sir?" "Well, he really didn't wanna live in a place like this." "I mean, he was a city man, you know." "I could tell." "So, what's a city man want with an old place like this?" "Hey, Lieutenant?" "Yes?" "I'm picking up fresh prints all over this place." "There's one more thing I wanna ask." "And no two ways about it." "It's Deschler." "Uh-huh." "All right, keep going." "Get that table on the corner, yet?" "I'm going there next." "Try in the kitchen, but don't touch anything." "Some place, huh?" "I guess, this is what they call a fixer-upper." "How long you figure she's been dead?" "What do I look like, a doctor?" "Where's my tape?" "What?" "My tape." "On your elbow." "You're looking right at it." "Oh, yeah." "Mr. MacGruder." "One other thing." "Can you tell me how long that clock's been there?" "I have no idea." "Never really noticed it before." "The reason I ask because it doesn't seem to fit with the room." "There's no dust on it." "Looks it was just put there." "Well, I really wouldn't know." "I sell property, Lieutenant." "Not old furniture." "One other thing, sir." "Do you think it's possible that maybe... this Deschler fellow was buying this for somebody else?" "You know, as a matter of fact, that's what I thought." "He kept saying that he wanted it for himself... but couldn't pin him down to a firm purchase." "That's sometimes the way when a third party's involved." "What made you think of that?" "No, it just seemed to me that if he was taking... a lot of pictures, if he had a camera... maybe he was taking them to show to somebody else." "Thank you, sir." "Hey, pop." "Hey." "St. Matthew's Mission?" "Yeah, right there." "Where?" "Right there." "This here?" "Yeah." "You know a guy named Dolan?" "Dolan?" "Yeah." "Is he in there?" "Look inside, in the kitchen." "You'll see him in there." "That's all right." "Welcome, brother." "Howdy, ma'am." "Peace be with you." "Thank you, ma'am." "My house is your house." "Thank you very much." "You're hungry and tired, I can see that." "Well, the fact is, I didn't sleep last night and I'm plenty tired." "I'm sorry." "Would you wait here?" "George, would you bring a tray, please?" "Won't you join us, Brother?" "Join you for what?" "Come." "I haven't seen you before, have I?" "No, ma'am." "That coat." "Tsk, tsk, tsk." "That coat, that coat, that coat." "I'm sure that we can find something nicer for you in the other room." "Something maybe a bit warmer." "What size are you, do you know?" "I think there's a misunderstanding." "Oh, no, brother." "No false pride between friends." "A man's worth is not judged by the size of his purse." "That's very true." "Let me explain..." "Explanations are not necessary between friends." "Please, your food." "Come." "Come eat." "Please, join us." "Eat." "An empty stomach is the Devil's playground." "Well..." "This is plain food, but it's filling." "It certainly looks wonderful." "Thank you." "Sit down." "Sit down." "You sit down and eat." "And when you're finished, we'll have a little talk, all right?" "Margaret!" "Later, later." "Margaret, didn't they bring in a tweed coat yesterday?" "A short 36, I think, wasn't it?" "Come, let's look for it." "I'll be back." "Mr. Dolan?" "Yes?" "May I?" "I insist." "How are you today?" "I want you to understand something." "If you think you found a scintillating breakfast companion, sir..." "I say you've found me at my worst." "Well, I'm not at my best, either." "I got to say, this stuff is not bad." "What is this?" "Beef stew?" "That is the prevailing theory." "You don't remember me, do you?" "I'm Lieutenant Columbo." "We met last night." "Yeah, I'm investigating the murder that took place up there on Devlin Road." "Perhaps I should get in touch with my barrister." "No, that won't be necessary, sir." "You're not a suspect." "All I want to do is, I just want to double-check... the statement that you made last night." "Here we are." "This is what you said." "I'd like to read it to you." "We are in luck." "That's all right." "You stay." "I found exactly the right thing." "It's warm, and look, it's hardly been used at all." "You stand up and we'll try it on." "I appreciate what you're doing." "I really do, but..." "I've had this coat for seven years." "Oh, you poor man!" "Don't be ashamed." "No, I'm very fond of it." "And besides..." "I'm from the police force, ma'am." "My name is Lieutenant Columbo." "All are welcome here, Lieutenant." "No, but you see, I'm actually working on a case now." "Oh, I see!" "You mean, you're working undercover." "How clever you are, Lieutenant." "You know, you fooled even me." "Oh, and please..." "Please, forgive me for interrupting your investigation." "I'm sorry." "And don't worry..." "I won't tell a soul about your disguise." "Thank you." "It's good." "It's really very good." "Stay." "Good luck." "Lieutenant, why don't you sit down before your beef gets cold?" "Do you play cribbage?" "Listen, I'd love to join you but unfortunately I'm tied up on this investigation." "Do you have a moment?" "Because I'd like to read this to you." "Is that all right?" "Yeah." "This is your statement." "You said:" ""'At first, I thought it was some child playing with a firecracker." ""'I nearly went to take a look..." ""'but the spirit being more willing than the flesh..." ""'I decided to remain where I was." ""'After a touch of the grape to induce slumber..." ""'I'd just about settled back when I heard the noise again so I got up to investigate." ""I got out of the car and I started toward the shack." ""'That's when this man came limping toward me." ""'His leg was bleeding." ""'He was trying to find a phone. "'" "That's your statement." "I'll tell you what bothers me about this." "According to this... there seems to be a considerable gap between the shots." "A time lapse between the first shot and the second shot." "Couple of seconds or it could be more." "I wonder, now, could you be more specific?" "Lieutenant, I honestly must say this to you." "I don't remember saying any of that." "I'm not saying you're fabricating all this." "But I frankly do not remember anything of last night." "Lieutenant?" "Lieutenant, I'm afraid I've been awfully abrupt with you... the past few hours." "Not at all, sir." "You've been under a terrific strain." "Yes, I imagine... the full weight of the disaster hasn't really hit me yet." "No, sir." "Listen, I gotta tell you, your pictures are wonderful." "Thank you, Lieutenant." "Your reputation is very deserved, sir." "Two Pulitzer Prizes." "I didn't know that." "I just read that here." "Mmm-hmm." "Congratulations." "Thank you." "How many books have you published?" "Nine, all together." "All your photographs?" "That's right." "Wonderful." "I got to take my hat off to you." "Because when it comes to photography..." "I just don't know which end of the camera to put the film in." "It isn't too hard once you understand it." "For example, last month..." "I was gonna take some pictures at my cousin's wedding." "They wanted to save a few bucks." "Just a couple of kids, so I said sure." "The pictures turned out very badly." "What it was was, those gadgets in the front end of the camera... you see, I couldn't figure 'em out." "And I got..." "Maybe if you just used a less complex camera... the simple reflex box with a flash." "You know, that's what I was thinking." "Now, next month my brother-in-law... he's gonna have an anniversary party." "So I thought..." "Lieutenant, I'm sorry." "But I'm awfully tired." "I'm sorry, sir." "Just a couple of things." "Just ask." "About the two shots." "Yes, Lieutenant?" "We have a witness." "What witness?" "Mr. Thomas Dolan." "I believe you ran into him." "You were looking for a phone." "Oh!" "You mean, the wino?" "That's the gentleman, sir, yes." "Mr. Dolan..." "May I?" "Please." "Mr. Dolan says that there was a lapse between the two shots." "Some kind of a time gap." "And yet, I got the impression from talking to you last night... that your shot and Mr. Deschler's shot came almost at the same time." "Well, Lieutenant, that man was blind drunk." "He didn't know what he heard." "There's another thing, sir." "I noticed it last night." "Your trousers." "What about my trousers?" "There were powder burns near the bullet hole." "But there were no powder burns on Mr. Deschler." "And you see, what I find troublesome here is that... if the two shots were almost simultaneous... how was it possible that... when he shot at you, it was at a very close distance, a foot... even less... and yet when you shot at him he was several feet away?" "Lieutenant, I wish you had asked me this last night." "I could have put your mind at ease immediately." "You see, this man, Deschler... pulled a gun on me." "We couldn't have been more than a foot or two apart." "I grabbed his arm and we struggled." "And as the gun went off I managed to knock it away." "It went away just a few feet." "I started to go for the gun but my leg, it's collapsed under me... and Deschler went for the gun." "I knew he was gonna kill me." "That's when I pulled my gun out of my pocket... and as Deschler raised his gun to fire, I shot him." "Does that answer your question?" "Yes, sir, it does." "Lieutenant, I know I should have given you all the details last night... but at the time I was so upset." "I'm sure you understand that." "Of course, sir." "I do." "I won't take up any more of your time." "I'm just trying to find my watch here." "Oh, yeah, I got to run along." "I gotta to get my dog to the vet." "Oh, is he sick?" "No, sir." "He is in love." "Or he was in love with the cocker spaniel next door." "But the family moved away... and now the dog, he won't eat, he won't sleep." "He just lays around and I can't look at him." "Lieutenant, I've never owned a pet... so I wouldn't know how to advise you." "That's too bad." "I don't suppose you have a picture of a cocker spaniel around, do you?" "A picture?" "You know, I mean, maybe I could tack up some kind of a picture." "You know, something he could look at." "Kind of like a pinup." "No, really, Lieutenant." "No, that's a terrible idea." "I mean, a dog is dumb but he won't fall for that." "The dog would know it wasn't her." "Forget I mentioned it." "Yeah, I will, Lieutenant." "Yes, sir, can I help you?" "Lieutenant Columbo." "I'm from the police." "Yes, Lieutenant." "What can I do for you?" "Did you sell this camera?" "Let me see." "Yeah, I had this camera on the shelf a couple of weeks ago." "Lieutenant, you know, we don't give no guarantee with something like this." "No, that's okay." "All I wanna know is one thing." "The name of the man that you sold it to." "Name?" "I don't deal in names." "Strictly cash." "Maybe a picture." "Take your time." "It's important." "That's the guy." "You're sure?" "That's him, all right." "Cheap bum." "What do you mean?" "He comes in here a while back." "So I tried to sell him one of my new color models, you know." "He says to me, "No, I just need a camera to take..." ""some pictures of houses." "Nothing fancy. "" ""A while back. " Can you be more exact?" "Well, I'd say a week." "Houses?" "Right." "Go on." "So anyway, I charged him $20 for the camera." "And he says to me, "Look, make the receipt out for $100."" "Then he slips me an extra $10." "Anyway, this guy was..." "He was weird, you know." "I mean, he comes in here... and he tries to save a few bucks... by buying this old camera, right?" "Meanwhile, he's got a taxicab waiting for him at the front door." "I mean, the cab's gotta cost him $5..." "What was that?" "I said he's trying to save a few..." "No, about the cab." "Well, yeah, he had a taxicab waiting for him." "I think this guy took a cab someplace else." "Excuse me just one moment." "Yes, he took a cab to the real estate office." "So what?" "Well, why does he keep driving around in cabs?" "Maybe he doesn't have a car." "But it's cheaper to rent a car than drive around in cabs." "Well, you got me there." "You're right." "Wait a minute." "But he did rent a car." "So the question is, why didn't he rent the car sooner?" "You know, that's gonna bother me." "You know, sometimes you can't think of the name of a movie." "This is gonna bother me." "Why didn't he rent the car sooner?" "I think I'm crazy." ""Why didn't he rent car sooner?"" "Listen, can I ask you a question?" "Sure, go ahead." "Maybe I'm nuts, but..." "This is the same photograph, isn't it?" "Yeah." "I was looking at this thing before... and now in this picture, her left arm is bent." "But in this picture, her right arm is bent." "I mean, now she has got two bent arms." "Well, you see, that's a reverse negative, Lieutenant." "What's originally on the right comes out of the left... and what's on the left, on the right." "You mean, I could have a picture... where I'm on the right and my wife's on the left." "And we do this reversal... and then I would be on the left and my wife would be on the right." "Absolutely." "I'll be a monkey's uncle." "You learn something every day." "Thank you very much." "You're welcome, Lieutenant." ""In the storm of life..." ""the raging winds sweep away the just and the unjust alike." ""The guilty and the innocent." ""The young and the old." ""The hand of the creator plucks the fruit from his orchard." ""And who among us can question his wisdom." ""Dust to dust, ashes to ashes." ""As surely as the lamb is born, so shall it also die." ""We come upon this Earth in the certain knowledge that one day we shall leave it..." ""a better or poorer place for our having been here." ""We commend to Thee the soul of Thy servant..." ""Frances Eleanor Galesko..." ""in the hope that she will be welcome to Thy bosom." ""Take her to your heart, we beseech you..." ""in the full knowledge that the good she has done here on Earth..." ""serving as your disciple, doing your good works..." ""has made her a full and happy person." ""Blessed are the pure of heart..." ""for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. "" "Let us pray." "Bye." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "I'm sorry." "She's at peace now, Lorna." "Yes, both of you." "That was unnecessary." "Don't be angry." "I just won't be a hypocrite." "I know what she did to you." "Well, what's past is past." "Excuse me." "Mr. Galesko, I hate to trouble you." "Columbo, what are you doing here?" "If I'm interrupting anything... you just tell me..." "No, of course not." "This is my assistant, Miss McGrath." "Lt. Columbo." "Hello, Lieutenant." "How do you do, ma'am?" "Paul, I really should be going." "Really?" "I thought we could have dinner." "Well, I promised to meet someone." "But it's not important." "I can break it..." "No, it's all right." "I'll see you in the morning." "All we have tomorrow is Mrs. Grant." "I can push her off until Tuesday." "No, I want to be there." "The house'll be a little dreary." "Yes, sir." "Nice meeting you, Lieutenant." "My pleasure, ma'am." "Lovely girl." "Yes, very competent young lady." "Very professional." "Lieutenant, may I ask what's the meaning of that?" "You noticed?" "I'm sorry, sir, I tried to be inconspicuous." "Well, you failed miserably." "I wanted to get some pictures." "There were quite a few people here." "Yes, my wife was very active, socially." "Well, I had this thought." "I thought maybe if I could get some pictures..." "I might be able to identify the accomplice." "Accomplice?" "Yes, sir, it's like a fellow returns to the scene of the crime." "Oh, it happens, and just in case..." "I wanted to have it on film." "Lieutenant, what accomplice?" "There is no accomplice." "Deschler murdered my wife." "The evidence is overwhelming." "Well, there's no question Deschler was in on it." "And most of the fellows down in the department... you know, they'd like to close off the case." "But I'm sure someone else was involved." "You're wasting your time." "Well, there are a couple of things that bother me." "You remember the ransom note?" "Yes." "You remember it said:" ""We have your wife and we will contact you. "" "Lieutenant, that's just a figure of speech." "Well, it could be." "But it doesn't explain the money." "Mr. Deschler is only recently out of prison." "Has no known employment." "Yet we found $200 in this man's wallet." "And he never had any trouble paying his motel bill." "Doesn't prove anything." "Well, the Parole Officer seems to think it does." "I spoke to him yesterday." "He says he was trying to get Deschler a job." "Deschler kept avoiding it." "And when pressed, Deschler said something about... he was working on something else." "He was never very specific about it." "And the real estate agent, Mr. MacGruder... he's absolutely certain... that Deschler bought that property in his own name... but for someone else." "So you can see, sir, how all these things add up." "No, not to me, Lieutenant." "Deschler was a convicted extortionist... a very clever man." "Now I only know what I read in the newspapers about him... but he did always work alone, didn't he?" "Yes, sir, that's true." "But then there's always a first time for everything." "Well, look, I won't hold you up anymore." "I want to apologize again if I caused any disturbance." "All right, Lieutenant." "One more thing, sir, I almost forgot." "One more thing that I wanted to check on." "Probably not important." "Could you excuse us?" "That phone call that Deschler made the morning after your wife was taken... we checked on that." "And the call was definitely made by Deschler from his motel room." "Yes, Lieutenant." "But I was talking to your housekeeper, Mrs. Moyland... and she tells me... that your meeting with that man was set for 5:00 in the afternoon." "Is that correct?" "That is correct." "How much time elapsed between the exchange of shots... and your getting to the phone booth to call the police?" "Well, I did all that very quickly." "Ten minutes." "Ten minutes." "Well, now, your phone call was received... at the Police Headquarters at 5:45... that's recorded." "So that places your meeting with Mr. Deschler... at around 5:30." "That's very hard for me to understand." "What is very hard for you to understand?" "Well, it's hard for me to understand, sir, because if it was my wife... and the man who had taken her said to be there at 5:00..." "I'd be damn certain that I got there on time." "I certainly wouldn't want to keep him waiting." "Lieutenant, I never said that I went directly to the auto junkyard." "Now the fact is, I received a phone call..." "I was ordered to go to a phone booth, wait for a call." "Now I don't know, maybe Deschler was checking to see if it was a trap." "The call came to the booth..." "I was directed to the junkyard." "And it's that simple." "Well, that would explain it." "Where is that phone booth, sir?" "It's somewhere in West LA." "I'm not sure of the exact location." "It's near a gas station." "I can find it again if I have to." "That's funny." "I mean, those kind of things are hard to remember." "I mean, going into a strange area of town... to find a strange phone booth." "And I don't think that you..." "Oh, wait a minute." "I got it right here." "I can check on that." "No, you didn't." "I didn't think you did." "See, now I can't figure out this small little note that you made to yourself." "When Deschler called you about the ransom money... you wrote this small note to yourself, "$20,000 in small bills. "" "Yes, what is so hard to figure out?" "Well, what I can't figure out, sir... is why you didn't write down the location of the telephone booth?" "I mean, if it was me and my wife was involved..." "I wouldn't trust that to memory." "I would write that down and I would want it exact." "Well, Lieutenant, I was very upset." "I mean, I wasn't thinking clearly at all." "Maybe, if it had been your wife... you would have acted just as stupidly as I did." "Lieutenant, you'll have to excuse me, please." "Yes, sir." "Thank you very much for your help, sir." "Can I have the personal effects... on this case, Alvin Deschler?" "Just want the envelope?" "Yeah." "Columbo." "Hey!" "What are you doing down here in the dungeon?" "How are you doing, Captain?" "Well, I'm just checking out a few things in the Galesko kidnapping." "Galesko?" "I thought that case was closed." "Well, you know me, Captain." "Just tying up some loose ends." "Now let me tell you something." "You won't find any loose ends on this one." "I mean, they found the guy's motel room, the cut-up newspaper... the paste, the camera." "Ballistics match that gun of his to the weapon that killed Mrs. Galesko." "He made the phone call, the ransom phone call... from his motel room to the Galesko home." "The guy's a two-time loser for extortion." "What else do you need?" "You know what bothers me?" "This guy is always driving around in cabs." "Here you are, sir." "The real estate man... he mentioned the cab, so I didn't think nothing of it." "Then I go to the camera shop... and the fellow there tells me Deschler pulls up in a cab." "So I start to think about it." "I call the parole officer." "Well, don't you know that Deschler reports to the parole officer." "When he leaves, the officer is looking out of the window... and there's Deschler, he's in the middle of the street, he's hailing a cab." "So what?" "Well, what bothers me, sir, is that all of a sudden... on Thursday the 20th at noon... the day of the kidnapping, he rented a car." "You didn't expect him to kidnap Mrs. Galesko in a taxicab, did you?" "No, what bothered me was why didn't he rent a car earlier?" "You know?" "I mean, why didn't he rent a car on the 10th?" "Around the 8th or the 9th?" "Listen, it's expensive to drive around for two weeks in a taxicab." "Why don't you save money, rent a car sooner?" "Columbo, why are you wasting your time with this?" "Because it bothers me, and I couldn't sleep... and I kept thinking about it." "And I think I came up with the answer." "Oh?" "The reason he couldn't rent a car earlier... is because he was just out of prison... and he didn't have a driver's license." "Now let's just see if I'm right." "I'll tell you, if I'm right about this... this is gonna tickle the life out of me." "I live for these kind of things, huh?" "Now, let's just see." "I knew it." "Got a temporary license." "Thursday the 20th." "See, I knew it." "Now the reason he couldn't rent a car earlier was... because he didn't have a license." "Now at least I know why he was always driving around in cabs." "All right, he didn't have a license." "The he turned around and got a license." "Yes, but the question is when, sir." "I mean, he didn't get it until the morning of the 20th." "Because he didn't rent the car until noon." "I mean, don't you think that's pretty dumb?" "Here's a guy who plans a kidnapping for sometime in the afternoon... either before the auction or after the auction." "And up until noon of the day he does it... he doesn't even know if he has a driver's license?" "I mean, suppose they have long lines that day." "Hey, listen... suppose he flunked the driving test." "But as you can see, he did not flunk the driving test." "But he could've." "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Tyler... we'll be out of the country starting next week." "Yes?" "Yes, I will." "Goodbye, Mr. Tyler." "Good morning, Lieutenant." "Ma'am." "You're here to see Mr. Galesko?" "Yes, if I may." "All right, he's in with a client right now... but it shouldn't be much longer." "Thank you very much." "These are all his books?" "Mmm-hmm." "I didn't realize that so many of his... photographs have been published in book form." "Yes." "He's a very talented and gifted man." "Oh, I can see that." "Paul, you're simply marvelous." "And such a dear to make time for me." "It's an honor, Mrs. Charleswort." "You will have my proofs soon, won't you?" "I will be in touch with you by Monday." "You're an absolute darling." "Goodbye." "Mr. Galesko." "Lieutenant." "Is there anything I can do for you?" "I'd like a few minutes of your time, if I may." "You have an appointment with Mrs. Peterson at 11:00." "This won't take long." "It is important." "All right, come on in, Lieutenant." "Boy!" "This is really something." "All this stuff just to take pictures." "I do considerably more than... just take pictures, Lieutenant." "You know, I have to hand it to you, sir... giving all this up, you know, just like that." "Who told you that?" "Jeez, somebody." "Was it the publisher?" "Yeah, he said you were going on some kind of trip... to the Philippines." "Well, as a matter of fact, that's right, Lieutenant." "I'm going to prove Tom Wolfe was wrong." "After three years of creating junk portraits like this..." "I'm going to pick up just where I left off." "Well, you know, now that you mentioned it..." "I couldn't help seeing all those books that you've published... the ones out there in the reception." "It's very impressive." "Lieutenant, you said you had something to ask me." "Yes, sir." "I have this problem." "You remember my idea of taking pictures out at the cemetery?" "Oh, yes, your phantom accomplice." "I'm afraid it didn't work out too well, sir." "He wasn't there, then, huh?" "Well, I'm not sure." "Lieutenant, these are the worst pictures I have ever seen." "I know, sir..." "It was a new camera." "I borrowed it from the neighbor." "He explained how to use it... then I got confused." "What's this one?" "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir." "I don't know how this got mixed up in there." "No, it's got nothing to do with the cemetery." "No." "You know where I found this one?" "No." "Well, I found this photograph in the fireplace out there... at the ranch house." "Oh, really?" "Strange, huh?" "Why strange?" "Strange that Mr. Deschler would take this picture and throw it away." "'Cause it's a perfectly good picture." "Lieutenant, that is not a good picture." "The exposure is way too light, the framing is off." "Everything's way off-center." "The framing." "It's not a good picture, Lieutenant." "You know, you're right." "You see, now that you mention it, I see what..." "Well, it goes to show you what a bad photographer I am." "I guess Mr. Deschler's like you." "What do you mean, like me?" "Well, I mean, he must've been unhappy with it." "I mean, a perfectionist like you." "Otherwise, why would he take another one?" "Lieutenant, photographic composition is a talent." "You're born with it." "And you obviously don't have it." "Oh, I'm not gonna argue with you there." "Well, you know, I wish I that ability." "'Cause next month..." "I think I mentioned this to you." "My brother-in-law... next month he's celebrating his 20th anniversary party... and actually I was thinking..." "I don't know whether I should bring it up or not." "You know, if you're not doing anything... could you could drop by and take a few pictures?" "It's nothing fancy." "We all have a good time." "We've got a big spread there... and the old fellows, they play bocce ball." "Lieutenant, I'm afraid that's impossible." "First of all, I don't just drop by and take pictures." "And, secondly, I'm leaving on my Philippines trip next Wednesday." "Oh, sorry, sir, I didn't realize it was that soon." "Maybe Miss McGrath, your assistant..." "No, she'll be going with me." "I didn't realize that." "Mrs. Peterson is here." "I'll be right with her, Lorna." "Well, I'll be running along, sir... and thank you very much for the time." "That's all right." "There's one other thing, sir." "It's a bit of a problem." "That newspaper." "What newspaper?" "The one we found in Deschler's motel room." "The one that the letters and the words for the ransom note were cut out of." "Yes." "The problem is, sir... between the time that you got the ransom note... and the time that the officer entered the motel room... the maid said she cleaned up the room." "She said..." ""'I cleaned the room." "There was no newspaper." ""'Otherwise it would've been thrown out. "'" "So, Lieutenant?" "I was just wondering, sir, do you have any thoughts on that?" "Why, no, I don't..." "I mean, why should I?" "Chances are, Lieutenant... the maid probably forgot to clean up the room." "And when you asked her about the newspaper... she lied to cover up her carelessness." ""Lied to cover up carelessness." ""Possibility. "" "Right." "What a dandy crowd, wouldn't you say, Paul?" "When the admission's free, you never know who you're gonna attract." "Oh, come on." "Hi, Phil." "Hey, Phil, how are you?" "They're enjoying it so much." "I really hate to have it only one day." "Well, it isn't every day that Paul Galesko comes out of retirement... to start a new book." "Oh, and... talking about books... that funny little man came by my office again yesterday." "What man?" "You know, the policeman." "Bombarded you with questions, I suppose?" "Oh, yeah." "But he bought one of your volumes... so it wasn't a complete waste of time." "You know, he did take quite an interest in your work the other day." "And today as well." "Mmm?" "Mr. Galesko, sir?" "Good afternoon, Lieutenant." "I've been looking all over for you." "You have?" "Yes." "I hope I'm not interrupting." "No, no." "It's a wonderful turnout you have here." "Yes, we're very, very pleased." "Oh, Paul, the pictures are just lovely." "Hello." "It's just lovely." "Lieutenant, did you want something?" "Is there someplace, sir, that you and I could talk?" "Columbo, you're becoming very annoying, do you know that?" "Paul, why don't you use the old studio?" "Why, I'm sorry..." "It's about Mr. Deschler, sir." "All right, but you'll have to make it short." "I'd offer you something, Lieutenant, but I'm not a drinker." "What?" "Oh, that's all right." "Of course you're probably on duty, anyway." "You are on duty, aren't you?" "Yes, sir." "You know, it isn't every day that I go out... and I spend $24 on a book." "But that's beside the point." "This is a terrific book." "I went through it last night five or six times." "Do you know how many photographs you have in this book?" "Lieutenant, I have never counted my photographs." "You took 522 photographs." "522 pictures." "You took 522 photographs, and I have to tell you something." "I've been to San Quentin a few times." "You know, in the early days, they used to take prisoners up there." "And I wanted to tell you, you really captured the mood of the place." "It's very depressing." "Well, Lieutenant, a camera is like an artist's palette." "Tool is nothing without the art." "Look at this one." "I brought that into the Ukraine with me." "Must've been 11 years ago." "Maybe it was even more than that." "You were there seven weeks, sir?" "What?" "San Quentin." "It says here in the jacket... you were there for seven weeks." "You worked there." "You slept there, you ate with the prisoners." "That's right." "That's what I thought." "May I show you something?" "Mmm-hmm." "You see that, sir?" "Mmm-hmm." "You see that man in the background?" "Yes?" "That's Mr. Deschler." "Really?" "Why, yes, I believe it is." "You know, when I saw this book in your office... and I realized that you'd spent that much time in San Quentin..." "I knew I had to go out and buy it." "Do you know how many other photographs of Deschler are in here?" "Oh, Lieutenant." "Nine." "Nine other photographs of Mr. Deschler are in here." "Wait a minute." "There's another one." "See that?" "Mmm-hmm." "All right." "That's Deschler." "But, sir, in your sworn statement... you said that you'd never met the man." "Oh, Lieutenant." "Surely, you don't expect me to remember one obscure man... from the thousands I've photographed over the years." "I didn't even know the man's name." "But not his name, sir." "His face." "Your business is faces." "I thought maybe that you'd met him when you were at the prison." "Well, I didn't." "And even if I had, I wouldn't remember it." "Lieutenant, maybe... maybe he remembers me from that visit." "And probably knowing that I was well-off... he picked me for his next victim." "Well, that's a possibility, sir, yes." "You don't think so, huh, Lieutenant?" "You believe that somehow I'm responsible for my wife's death." "Oh, don't deny it, Lieutenant." "You're like a little shaggy-haired terrier... that's got a grip on my trousers, you won't let go." "I can't turn around without you staring up at me... with that blank innocent expression on your face." "I won't deny, sir, that I have problems with this case." "Lieutenant." "Please." "Don't you think he's been through enough?" "It's all right, Lorna." "Well, I'm sorry, ma'am." "You're going to be a lot sorrier, Lieutenant... if you don't stop following me around." "In two days I am leaving for the Philippines... with Miss McGrath, here." "And for eight blessed weeks..." "I won't have to be greeted with your suffocating presence." "Or are you planning on going along?" "Oh, no, sir." "In which case I'll scream until the beams at city hall shake." "That won't be necessary." "I know I've been a pest." "I'm just trying to do my job." "I won't bother you anymore." "I hope you mean that, Lieutenant, for your sake and for mine." "Would you just fill that out, please?" "Department of Motor Vehicles." "Miss Hanley." "Yes, ma'am, this is Lieutenant Columbo." "We spoke the other day." "Lieutenant?" "Oh, yes, I remember." "You were asking about our Mr. Weekley." "Weekley." "Yes, ma'am." "That was the man's name." "You said he was out of town." "You said he'd be back this morning." "I wonder if I could speak to him." "I'm terribly sorry, Lieutenant." "He's not here." "In fact, he's stranded out on the road." "Some sort of car trouble." "Could you give me that location where he's stranded?" "Look, lady, do you want a tow or don't you?" "I told you, it ain't gas you need, it's a new fuel pump." "I will not pay you $20 to tow my car." "Well, lady, you can stay here all day for all I care." "Mr. Weekley?" "Mr. Weekley?" "Yes?" "They told me at the office I could find you here." "I'm Lieutenant Columbo, I'm from the police." "I'd like to ask you a few questions." "I hope you don't mind." "It's my lunch hour." "I'm hungry, irritable." "Well, is there something I can do, sir?" "What did you have in mind?" "Are you stuck?" "It's obvious, isn't it?" "I guess, sir." "Well, then, why ask?" "I thought it might be helpful if I gave you a lift." "That would be helpful, yes." "Where are you going?" "To the office." "Of course." "Right this way, sir." "Thank you." "Is it safe?" "The car?" "Yeah." "Absolutely, sir." "Here, let me get that for you, sir." "There we are." "Well, this knob came off." "Let me get it from over here." "All right, try it now, sir." "No?" "Here we are." "Seat belts, Lieutenant." "Seat belts." "Where are they?" "Well, I don't have any, sir." "Is that a requirement?" "It certainly is." "A new regulation?" "Fourteen months." "Well, I'll certainly do something about that." "This man that I'm trying to check on, Mr. Alvin Deschler..." "Look behind you, Lieutenant." "What is it?" "When you pull away from a curb, you must look behind you." "Sorry, sir." "All clear now." "As I was saying, I'm checking on a man named Alvin Deschler... and he took his driving test on the morning of the 20th." "Do you remember Mr. Deschler?" "I wouldn't remember." "No." "You don't remember a Mr. Alvin Deschler?" "Why should I?" "These people mean absolutely nothing to me." "Oh, I see." "Well, maybe a photograph, sir." "Let me show you a photograph." "I have one right here." "Keep your eyes on the road, Lieutenant." "I'm all right." "Don't worry." "Eyes on the road!" "But I'm not." "I had a woman in the car yesterday... would you believe that she backed into a mailbox?" "Now that's not a joke, that's a fact." "A mailbox!" "Did she?" "Can you picture that?" "Really?" "Yes." "Those things, I suppose, are nerving, aren't they?" "Yes, they are." "Here's that photograph, sir." "This is the man that I'm talking about." "Now, I know that he took his driving test on the morning of the 20th... but what I really require is positive identification." "Yes." "We're gonna turn at the next block." "Turn at the next block." "Signal." "Watch your right." "Always watch that right." "And the left." "Your eye has to be trained." "To watch both ways." "Exactly." "It's called defensive driving." "Watch it!" "Pull over." "I'm sorry, sir." "I'm sorry." "Pull over." "We've got another 10 or 12 blocks, sir." "Just pull over." "Would you shut off your engine?" "Just to be on the safe side." "Yes, sir." "Lieutenant, Columbo..." "I'm sure you have a driver's license." "It may even have been issued in this state." "It may even be valid." "But all of these things notwithstanding..." "I'm sure you'll understand why..." "I'm electing to walk the rest of the way." "Yes, sir, I suppose it's good exercise." "I mean, I should do more of it myself." "Indeed, you should." "About the picture, sir." "It's very important that I have this identification." "Could you just take a moment?" "Deschler." "I remember him." "A good driver." "A very good driver." "Is he the man who just got out of prison?" "Yes, sir." "I remember him." "And he took his driver's test on the morning of the 20th?" "Yes, he did." "And you're willing to sign an affidavit to that effect?" "Certainly." "Unless, of course, it means that you have to drive me to police headquarters." "Oh, no, sir." "No, sir, don't worry." "You'll be able to drive yourself." "Mr. Galesko?" "Mr. Galesko?" "Yes?" "Sergeant Hoffman." "I wonder if you'd mind going down... to headquarters with me, sir." "Lieutenant Columbo would like to talk to you." "Really?" "Does he wanna discuss my work or show me some more of his photographs?" "Please, sir... if you won't come voluntarily, I'm afraid... he'll have to issue a warrant for your arrest." "Is that so?" "All right, Sergeant." "I'll talk to your Lieutenant." "Might be amusing." "Yes, sir." "All right, Lieutenant, what's the meaning of this?" "Just one minute, sir, I'm looking for a K." "Here it is." "Columbo, I warned you." "Yes, you did, sir... and I want you to know that I didn't take your warning lightly." "But I have no choice, sir." "You see, I don't think Mr. Deschler killed your wife." "I don't think he even met her." "I think you arranged everything." "I think you arranged the false kidnapping, the ransom note... the telephone call, and I think you lured Mr. Deschler... to the junkyard and I think you shot him." "Of course you can prove all this." "You see this newspaper?" "This is the same edition of the newspaper... that the letters and words for the ransom note were cut out of." "I'm trying to reconstruct that note." "Need any help with your spelling, Lieutenant?" "I'll tell you what the problem is." "We found this newspaper in the motel room." "It was sprawled over a chair." "It was left there." "Even though the maid said that she cleaned up the room." "Yes, I told you." "She probably lied." "That's the problem, sir." "You see this terrible mess I'm making." "There's just no way to cut up this paper... and paste together this note without making a mess." "I know." "I tried it last night, my wife and I." "Columbo, what's your point?" "My point is this:" "If the maid forgot to clean up the room... then why didn't we find little bits and pieces of paper somewhere?" "You see the problem?" "If she did clean up the room, then everything gets thrown out." "All the bits and pieces of paper get thrown out... and the newspaper gets thrown out." "If she doesn't clean up the room... then these scraps of paper, they have to be somewhere." "You can see the contradiction." "You're incredible." "You're really incredible." "This man, this criminal, abducts my wife, kills her... tries to kill me in cold blood." "But instead of recognizing the obvious... you accuse me of some kind of a monstrous scheme." "Deschler killed Frances." "No one else." "No, sir." "That's not possible." "You see, Mr. Deschler had an alibi." "What?" "Yes, sir." "He couldn't possibly have killed your wife." "And what's more, your sworn statement is perjured." "You're crazy." "Correct me if I'm mistaken... but you said you were with your wife until noon on Thursday, the 20th... the day she was abducted." "Yes." "Well, you see, sir, Mr. Deschler was down... at the Department of Motor Vehicles... taking his driver's test that morning." "And I have got a sworn statement from an examiner to that effect." "So you see, Mr. Deschler couldn't possibly have kidnapped your wife... but you could have." "Lieutenant, what in the hell are you saying?" "Deschler had no alibi." "My wife was abducted in the afternoon." "No, sir, that's what we assumed." "Actually she was kidnapped in the morning... and at precisely the same time that you said you were at home alone with her." "I have absolute proof, sir... that Mrs. Galesko was tied to that chair in that ranch house... at 10:00 in the morning." "I took the snapshot of Mrs. Galesko... and I took it down to our photo lab... and I had a giant blow-up made from that print." "And I want you to know, my friend... that I took personal charge of that process... just so that there'll be no mistake." "You see that clock in the background?" "That clock reads 10:00." "That's very plain." "10:00, sir." "That's the time that you claimed you were at home alone with your wife." "Lieutenant, you're priceless." "You're a gem." "You're a little flawed and you're not too bright, but you're one of a kind." "I think that's a very incriminating piece of evidence, sir." "Evidence?" "Don't you see what you've done?" "You've taken that picture and you have reversed it." "Sir?" "You have made a mistake, Lieutenant." "In the process of enlarging that photo, you've turned everything around." "The clock doesn't say 10:00." "It says 2:00." "Can you do that?" "Is that possible?" "It certainly is." "I don't understand." "Get the original photo and compare it." "I'll demonstrate it to you." "Then you'll see where you made a big mistake." "The original?" "The original snapshot, yes." "I'm afraid that's going to be a problem, sir." "You see... when I was down in the darkroom, working with the guy... from the photo lab I was helping out..." "I accidentally dropped the original... in a batch of hydrochloric acid." "What?" "Yes, sir." "There is no other print." "It's gone." "What is this?" "A clumsy attempt to frame me with false evidence?" "Oh, no, sir, no, I wouldn't do that." "Now I'm afraid, this is the picture." "And there's been no mistake." "I'll testify to that." "Sgt. Hoffman, would you read Mr. Galesko his rights?" "Hold it, Lieutenant, before you do something you'll regret." "I hate to disappoint you... but you have proof of my innocence despite your clumsiness." "Sir?" "We don't need the original snapshot." "A negative will serve the same purpose." "Look at that negative in the back of the camera, Lieutenant." "It proves I'm right." "Were you a witness to what he just did?" "Yes, Lieutenant." "Were you a witness to what he just did?" "Yes, sir." "Were you a witness to what he just did?" "Yes, I am, sir." "Witness to what?" "You just incriminated yourself, sir." "You've identified the camera." "That's right, sir." "That's what you did." "You see, you didn't pick out this one or this one or this one." "You didn't touch any of these 12 cameras, you picked that one." "Yes, this is the camera that was used to take your wife's picture." "But you would have no way of knowing that... or of knowing that this negative was in the back of this particular camera... unless you'd taken the picture yourself." "Sorry, sir." "If I hadn't taken that camera..." "You were counting on that." "You didn't accidentally reverse that film." "You did that deliberately." "Sergeant Hoffman." "You have the right to remain silent." "If you give up the right to remain silent... anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "You have the right to speak with an attorney..."