"* The country was big When it was new" "* The best men was big And their yarns was too" "* And their tallest tales Folks believed was true" "* So the more they were told The more they grew" "* Davy, Davy Crockett" "* King of the Wild Frontier" "* History remembers the name of his gun" "* And some of the deeds he really done" "* But most of his chores For freedom and fun" "* Got turned into legends And this here is one" "* Davy, Davy Crockett" "* Helping his fame spread wide" "* Had a lot of furs that he aimed to ship" "* And he set his mind on a river trip" "* When a bragging' boatman Give him some lip" "* A'claimin' there was no man He couldn't whip" "* Davy, Davy Crockett" "* Tanglin' with Big Mike Fink" "Them Kentucky ants got a bite like an alligator." "Sure ain't particular what they chaw on." "Look at that, would you?" "This is the longest hunt we ever been on." " Biggest bunch of pelts we ever got, too." " Leastwise, the heaviest." "Them packhorses is plum wore out and so am I." "How much longer you figure we got to walk, anyhow?" "I figure we'll reach the old Ohio pretty soon." "Yeah, sure am looking forward to that boat ride." "Nothin' to do all day but sit in the sun and fish all the way down the Natchez." "That's a mighty good idea of yourn, Davy." "At least we'll get a better price for our furs there." "You ain't foolin' me none." "You ain't thinking about the price of furs." "You're thinkin' about all that new country we'll be lookin' at." " Ow!" " [Squeaking]" "[Rattles]" "Get away from here." "This ain't your night, is it?" "I'm gonna turn in before something else happens." "That fellow sang worse than you." "Ain't nothing living gonna keep me awake tonight." "Hey, Davy?" " Hey, Davy?" " Now what?" "There's something in bed with me." "Kiss it good night and go to sleep." "[Sniffs]" "[Whistle blows]" " There's our boat ride." " Get a move on, Mahalia." "[Whistle blows]" "* Listen to the thunder" " * Hear the winds roar - [horse neighs]" "* Hurricane's a'comin' Board up the door" "* Load up the cannon Call out the law" "* Worstest calamity that folks ever saw" "* Girls run and hide Brave men shiver" "* He's Mike Fink King of the River *" "What's going on here, anyway?" "Something's got their fur riled up." "The landing's over there." "Well, boys, hope they don't run out of Monongahela Red Eye this time!" "[Men laugh]" "That ought to keep her from drifting." "Say, mister, which one of them fellas is captain of this boat?" "What did you say?" " He wants to know who the captain is." " [Men laugh]" "How long you bushwhackers been holed up in the backwoods?" "Everybody knows who the captain of the Gullywhumper is." "It's me." "Mike Fink." "King of the River." "Well, Captain, meet up with Davy Crockett." "King of the Wild Frontier." "Davy Crockett, huh?" "It sure is a small world." "You're a foot shorter than you ought to be." "Don't worry, he's still a'growin'." "Like them yarns they spread about him." "Mighty hard to live up to sometime." "Well, I don't have no trouble livin' up to mine." "I am the original ring-tail roarer from the Thunder Lightning country." "I'm a real snorter and a head-buster." "I can out-run, out-jump, out-sing, out-swim, out-dance, out-shoot, out-eat, outright..." "Out-talk?" "Yeah, out-talk, out-cuss and out-fight anybody in the whole Mississippi and Ohio Rivers put together." "Interesting, but all we wanna know is how far down you're going?" "All the way to New Orleans, of course." "Told you I'm Mike Fink." "King of the River." "This is my private river." "Have you got room for a couple of private passengers?" " Where you bound?" " Natchez." "We got furs we aim to sell down there." "You get a better price for your furs in New Orleans." "Tell you what I'll do, seeing as how it's you." " I'll make you a special rate." " That's nice of you." "Yes, you and your furs all the way to Natchez or New Orleans, for only $1,000 hard money." "Why, that's plain uncivilized piracy." "Ain't no question about it." "Make up your minds and let me know before morning." "You keep me from my drinkin'." "$1,000?" "Who does that big windbag think he is?" "Seems like he told us." "He might be the King of the River, but he ain't got the only boat." " Howdy there." " Howdy." "This your boat?" "Yep, Bertha Mae out of Marietta." " Sounds like a racehorse." " Hard to beat if she's handled right." "Which way you going?" "Up river or down?" " Ain't going no place right now." " Barrel's marked for New Orleans." "That's right." "But my crew up and deserted me." " What'd they do that for?" " Heard about the Injuns." "Didn't know there was Injun trouble." "It ain't here." "Downriver somewhere." "Other side of Shawnee Town." "Red devils are attacking everything." "Flat boats loaded with settlers." "Even on the keelboats." "Got so bad, nobody'd sign on." "Don't seem to be scaring off Mike Fink none." "Him and them Pittsburgh pole-pushers ain't human enough to be scared." "We picked the wrong time for a boat ride." "Hey." " Are you really Davy Crockett?" " Why, sure." " I'm Captain Cobb." " This is my friend, Georgie Russel." "Glad to know ya." "You fellas got a reputation for Injun fighting'." "If folks knew you were going downriver with me, we could get a crew." " What do you think, Georgie?" " Beats paying $1,000 we ain't got." " How many men would it take?" " Six, if they're as strong as you be." "If they don't know any more about boating than Georgie and me, it'll be some crew." "Better split up, we're gonna cover the town." "Don't you be a'feared of tootin' your horn." "Mind what you promise." "Don't want anybody to think this'll be a frolic." "That one's about the right size." "See you back at the landing." "[Grunts]" "Ah!" "[Jocko] Now, anybody else don't care for my cigar?" "Kind of handy with them fists of yourn, ain't you?" "Better at kicking and biting'." "You're the kind of fella I been looking for." "Drink?" "You're just the kind of fella I've been looking for, too." "Well, here's mud in your eye." "Know something?" "Sleepy town like this ain't no place for a man of your talents." " Mister, that's a fact." " Have another?" " What's your name?" " Jocko." " Mine's Georgie." " Well, I'm pleased to meet you." "Ah, it's kind of tasty, ain't it?" "[Whispering] That'd grow whiskers..." "That'd grow pink whiskers on a hound dog." "Hey, Jocko, how'd you like to see a little something of the world?" " What you driving at, Georgie?" " I'm gonna let you in on something." "Me and Davy Crockett is getting a party to take a boat ride down the river." " Take a what?" " Boat ride, on the Bertha Mae." " Clean down to New Orleans." " [Cackling]" "What's so funny?" "That's the gall-bustingest joke I ever heard." "Hey, Mike!" "This clodhopper is trying to sign old Jocko on the Bertha Mae." "You tired of livin'?" "Nobody tries to steal one of Mike Fink's crew." "How did I know this little hyena..." "This squirt..." "One of your hyenas?" "I accept your apology." "Couple of Mike Fink specials." "I thought you and Davy Crockett was a couple of smart fellas." "Turnin' me down for a bumblin' old coot like Cap Cobb." " Heard about them Injuns downriver?" " But Injuns don't scare Davy none." "Our only trouble is, we can't get a crew." "You ain't gonna find no keelboatmen around here." "If any of these cornhuskers are crazy enough to join you, you'll end up in a sandbar for sure." "It's risky, but we get a free ride." " It's your funeral." " [Bubbling, steaming]" "As we say down in New Orleans, bon voyage!" " Hey, down the hatch!" " I already had more than I'm used to." "Oh, come on now, square off." "You're gonna be a river man, you gotta learn how to drink like one." "[Drink gurgles]" "[Stomach gurgles]" "[Laughing]" "That's funny, there's no sign of my friend Russel." "You go look for him." "We'll find the rest of the fellas." "It may take persuading, but we'll have a full crew before morning." " Obligin' of you to join up with me." " Anything for you, Davy." "Well, let's get some men." "[Crowd hoots, hollers]" "Yee-hoo!" "Hey!" "Hiya, Davy!" " What in thunder got into him?" " Only a couple of Mike Fink specials." "Georgie ain't a drinkin' man." "That's what he claimed, but look at him!" "Hey, Davy!" "Yee-hoo!" "Georgie Russel, quit making a fool out of yourself and get off..." "Leave him alone, Crockett, he's enjoying hisself!" "Ain't had so much fun since I slid down Old Smokey on a barrel stave!" "Don't worry, Davy, we'll beat 'em easy!" "Beat 'em?" "What's he talking about?" "Beat who?" " Me." "You got a race on your hands." " What kind of race?" "Keelboats." "The Gullywhumper against the Bertha Mae." " To New Orleans." " We can't race you." "I told him, but he wouldn't believe me." "Bet your furs against two barrels of my Monongahela whiskey." "He knows better." "Took us all winter to get them furs." "My crew's gonna look mighty fancy in coonskin caps." "Yee-hoo!" "Ah-ha!" "[Davy] George, get down from there!" "[Crashing]" "[Glass shattering]" "[Men laughing]" "Hey!" "Hey, have a little heart." "That's awful wet!" "If you're gonna be a river man, you gotta get used to water." "I'm awful sorry, Davy." "That won't get us to New Orleans ahead of Mike Fink." " Couldn't you say I was foolin'?" " Think he'll let you off that easy?" " I don't reckon." "I'll never do it again." " You better not." " We've got to find ourselves a crew." " Not in your condition." "Get back to the boat and have Cap Cobb put you to bed while I gather up the gear." "Thank you, Davy." "You're mighty understanding'." "[Indistinct chatter]" "Citizens of Maysville, you are about to witness the start of an historical event, which may well be remembered as the classic contest of all time." "A keelboat race between the intrepid Davy Crockett of Tennessee... [all cheer]" "And the undefeated Mike Fink, King of the River!" "[Cheering]" " Are the captains ready?" " I'm ready." "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." "Hey, Crockett, might as well give me them furs now." "You ain't won 'em yet." "Well, if I don't, I'll eat my hat, red feather and all!" "One of these days, that big blowhard's gonna get what's comin' to him." "Take your starting positions." "Stand by!" "Stand by!" "No, no, no!" "Jumpin' catfish!" "Do like I told ya." "Go forward so we can walk back." "[Men laugh]" "Now, remember, no one starts until the cannon fires." "[Mike] Get ready." "Get ready, boys." "[Drumroll]" "[Cheering]" "* Listen to the thunder" "* Hear the winds roar" "* Hurricane's a'comin' Board up the door" "* Load up the cannon Call out the law" "* Worstest calamity That folks ever saw" "* Girls run and hide" "* Brave men shiver" "* I'm Mike Fink" "* King of the River!" "* Oh, he's a ring-tail roarer And a tough old alligator" "* Oh, he's a bull-nosed bully And a real depopulator" "* Oh, what a fightin' devil He'll spit right in your eye" "* He's gonna live forever [low] * Born too mean to die * [all laugh]" "It ain't no use, Davy." "We ain't gonna catch 'em." "We just ain't got the hang of it." "We need a song like they've got." "Let's sing one, then." "* He don't take nothin' From no man at all, ho!" "* The bigger they brag The harder they fall, ho!" "* The tougher they are The louder they squall" "* When they get wet through In a free-for-all, ho!" "[All] * Davy, Davy Crockett" "* King of the Wild Frontier [continues softly] * Ain't no trick to row a keelboat" "* We can beat Mike Fink With anything that floats" "* We got the hang While we feel our oats" "Look at them clodhoppers, would ya?" "[Laughs]" "[Davy's men] * Davy, Davy..." " Was I snoring' again?" " On your feet, they're catchin' up!" "Don't strain yourselves, boys." "They ain't gonna catch us." "Wait 'til they find themselves going down Dead Man's Shoot!" "[Man] Stand by!" "All righty, let's row!" "Much obliged for relieving' me, Davy." "How we doin'?" "We're gainin' on them." "They're around that bend." "So's the falls of the Ohio." " Falls?" " That's what they call 'em." "Actually, it's a stretch of bad rapids." "Used to be real dangerous 'til they put in the channel marker." "That's funny, river must've cut a new channel since my last trip." "Gentlemen, let's have a moment of silence for them poor unfortunates what took the wrong channel." "[Cracking]" "Hey, you stumble-footed idiots!" "What are you trying to do?" "Send us to the bottom?" "Pass them poles!" "Hey, Cap." "It's getting rough." "You sure we're in the right channel?" "Jumpin' Jehosaphat!" "We're in Dead Man's Shoot!" "Somebody must've moved the marker!" "[Waves thrashing]" "Can't afford to lose you now, Cap." "Better get below." "Hey, Davy, look out!" "There's a rock dead ahead." "Pole, you lop-headed baboons!" "They're beatin' us!" "Let's pole!" "Davy, we're still leading'." "We might just win this race." "Georgie, don't skin the bear 'til we shoot him." " What's them lights up ahead?" " Shawnee Town." "We better put in." "And let them hyenas get ahead of us again?" "Can't be helped." "Everything below is soaking' wet, even our powder." "And them Injuns is apt to jump us anytime now." "Mike, listen." "Sounds like they're puttin' ashore." " So are we." " What?" "You crazy?" "Now's our chance to get way ahead!" "Why bust our backs when there's an easier way?" "Here, take over." "Pretty late." "Sure hope Davy'll find somethin' open." "If they don't take long, we can start again before Mike Fink shows up." "Ain't no sign of him yet." "Hope they don't sneak by us in the dark." "[Frog croaks]" " What's that?" " Just an old bullfrog." "If that ain't just like a city fella!" "Don't even know a bullfrog when he hears one." "[Frog croaks]" "Little rascal's getting pretty close." "The whole riverbank's full of 'em." "[Frog croaks]" "What'd you do?" " Me?" " Yeah." "Nothin'." "A couple bolts rusted off the rudder when they wasn't looking." "Don't figure it can hang together too much longer." "[Man] Hello there!" "Come on ashore!" "[Man in falsetto voice] Yoo-hoo, boys." "Come on, boys." "Have a good time!" "[Man] We got liquor and some fine entertainment." "[High voice] We're lonesome for some dancin'!" "[Man] You won't be sorry!" "What do you know?" "They made that old cave into a tavern." " Fetch your poles and hold her." " [High voice] Yoo-hoo, boys!" "Don't overdo it, they're stopping'." "You Injuns get ready." "Ain't you gettin' mighty ambitious, Mason?" "Takin' on Mike Fink and his crew?" "We'll take them as easy as we did the others." "Sure wish we had some of that cologne water." "[Both sniff]" "Yeah." "Ah!" "Mike, look!" "I'm afraid them sirens is gonna be disappointed." "Ain't that rudder busted?" "Crockett's got a gift for spoiling' my fun." "Yeah!" " See you gals on the way back!" " Yoo-hoo!" "Yoo-hoo!" "Go to them poles!" "Didn't work, they're going on." "They won't get far." "Take the horses." "Stay in the saddle." "Wanna leave footprints?" "Injuns!" "Get braced for some fun, boys!" "[Bullets zing]" "It's what we've been waitin' for." "Can't we let Mike Fink try braggin' his way out of this one?" "[Men] Yee!" "Keep poling, boys!" "[Yelping]" " Where did that other boat come from?" " Let's get!" "Anybody get hurt, Mike?" "How could we?" "You chased 'em off before we got started." "[Sneezes]" "Help, help!" "Hey, help!" "[Men laugh]" "Now, what made that bust loose?" "You fellas are sure having tough luck, ain't you?" "Sorry we can't help you none." "Shove off, boys, we got a race to win." "That puffed-up polecat had something to do with this." "Wait'll we catch up with him." "They didn't leave nobody on the Gullywhumper." "Let's get even." "Sure would be easy to swap rudders, all right." "No, we gotta win this race fair and square." "There's a good ship fitter here." "I'll wake him up and get him to work." " How long you figure it'll take?" " Won't take no time to hang a rudder." " If he's got one already made up." " I sure hope he's got one." "Mike ain't gonna wait around once he knows we're here." "[Cheering, laughing]" "Mike seems to be enjoying himself." "Maybe you and me can keep him entertained a while longer." " Give us a signal when you're ready." " I'll do that." "Why, you milk-livered city folk." "Been took in by them tall tales about this here Davy Crockett." "King of the Wild Frontier, my eye!" "Ain't room in the country but for one king, and that's me!" "Yes, sir, Mr. Fink." "That squash-headed beanpole of a man ain't no match for my shadow." "I can beat him at anything." "Take shooting." "Them paper targets he uses, ain't no test of a man's nerve." "Now, hold still." "Hold still." "But with a target like that if a man ain't awful careful, he could make a mighty serious mistake." "Wait a minute, Mr. Fink." "You ain't aiming' to shoot this off my head?" "That's good whiskey you're spilling'." "There ain't nothin' to it, if you'll hold still like this... [gunshot]" "Like that, Mike?" "Lucky thing for you fellas that Mike Fink's got a sense of humor." "Come on, belly up!" "Seems like the proprietor's gone on a sudden journey, left me in charge." "Drinks is on the house!" "[All cheer]" "Come on, join us!" "Me and Georgie don't hold with drinking' when we got a race to win." "I thought you fellas would be ready to give up." "Davy ain't never quit nothin' in all his life." "These hillbillies are sure hounds for punishment." "We'll be halfway to Natchez before you get that rudder fixed." "Come on, drink up." "Let's shove off!" "Hey, Mike." "I'm surprised at you." "Why?" "Lettin' Davy's shot stand without no challenge." "The kid in Pittsburgh could do the same, if his pa'd let him waste a whiskey." " The same target you was gonna use?" " Yeah." "Only I was gonna do it backwards." " Backwards?" " In the mirror." "I'll show you." "No, you don't." "You scared, too, Crockett?" "Lot of difference between being scared and foolish." "All right, I'll show you a real trick." " I'll shoot it off my own head." " This we gotta see." "Back out of the way, everybody!" "Tolerable good shootin' for a river man." " Tolerable?" " I suppose you can do better?" "I might just try." "Charge up old Betsy for me." "I ain't so sure about this." "Better duck your heads." "I just don't believe it." "[Indistinct chatter]" "It is not humanly possible to leap up and catch a ball in your mouth." "Why, you..." "What's going on around here?" "[Mike] Stop fighting!" "Ah!" "I said stop fighting!" "I told you to stop fighting!" "You guys stop fighting!" "[Man] Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Come on, get me!" "I need some help!" " I wonder what he wants." " I don't know." "Hey, Cap, swing into that island." "Thank the Lord you stopped." "You're the first souls I've seen since my flatboat went to pieces and marooned me here." "I near starved to death." "We can fix that." "Come on aboard." "Thank you kindly, son." "Mind waitin' 'til I fetch my livestock?" "Livestock?" "[Chickens cluck]" "[Donkey grunts]" "[Pig oinks]" "Hey!" "We ain't got time to load all them animals!" "Here comes the Gullywhumper!" " Cap's right." " We can't leave him here." "If we did get him aboard, we ain't got room to pole." "Forget them critters, Grandpa, and get aboard." "We're in a hurry!" "I can't leave my stock!" "It ain't right that he should." "Come on, boys." "Let's give him a hand." "[Cow bellows]" "[Pig squealing]" "Ain't that obligin' of them cornhuskers?" "Waitin' here for us like this?" "Hey, Crockett, what you doin'?" "Recruitin' a new crew?" "This ain't no laughin' matter." "[Piglets squealing]" " [Goat bleats] - [George grunts]" "What are you belly-aching about?" "We're doing all the work." "Now I know exactly how Noah must've felt." "Much obliged for all the trouble I put you to." "That's my place yonder on the bayou." " Got time to break bread with us?" " We got some time to make up." "Excuse me, please." "I got to look after my critters." "I sure gotta hand it to you, Davy." "You just don't know when you're up." "Not everybody can come in first." "Maybe the good Lord didn't intend for us to win this race." "Then what are we breaking our backs for to get to New Orleans?" "Got to deliver some furs to Mike Fink." " So long." "Sorry your boat's so big." " What's the matter with the size?" "If she was smaller, you could save 40 miles by takin' this here bayou." "I been down it in my skiff plenty of times." "Runs back into the Mississippi just above New Orleans." "Think we can get through?" "Lt'd be a tight squeeze, but if you cut a few trees out of the way, and don't mind scraping the bottom, you might make it." "Georgie, maybe we ain't lost this race yet." "[Alligator growls]" "We've practiced long enough." "Let's show 'em something." "Row them poles, you scummy river rats!" "If you don't get me to that landing before Crockett, so help me, I'll turn every mother's son into catfish bait!" "Push, boys!" "Push like you never pushed before!" "We're beatin' 'em, boys!" "Push!" "Moose." "Give 'em the Pittsburgh punch!" "Aah!" "So you want to play rough?" "Ah!" "Give it to 'em, Jocko." "Give 'em what for, Davy." "Use that pole, man!" "Hit 'em!" "Hit 'em!" "[Grunting]" "[George laughing]" "You thought you was gonna wear our pelts!" "You thought we was gonna be trailing'!" "[Church bell ringing]" "What's the world gonna say?" "Mike Fink, King of the River, losing' to a pack of landlubbers." "We don't want anything but our furs." "That's all we started out to do." "You mean, you ain't gonna lay claim to my red feather?" "There's only one King of the River." "That bayou we come through ain't rightly a part of the Mississip." "Where's my hat?" "* They were darn good friends From that day on" "* Davy sold his furs And then was gone" "* Sailin' north with Mike To the land of the fawn" "* Where a man could live By brain and brawn" "* Davy, Davy Crockett" "* Off for the woods again" "* From the mouth of the river Up to its head" "* Boatmen and travelers Was filled with dread" "* 'Cause redskin pirates Was raising' old Ned" "* And the whole blamed river Was running' red" "* Davy, Davy Crockett" "* The man who don't know fear *" "Put your backs into it." "What do you think this is, a free trip?" "You ungrateful pole cat, we dragged this tub all the way from New Orleans." "I gotta admit, for a couple backwoods bar hunters, you ain't done bad." "Those are kind words coming from you, Mike." "You could put us ashore any place along here." "I can't see why you bristleheaded varmints can't land at a settlement like civilized passengers." "He works the tar out of us and calls us "passengers."" " It's the quickest way to get home." " Sounds like a long walk to me." "We're gonna get some horses and sit down for a change." "Where are you gonna find horses in a lonesome place like this?" "Chickasaws." "This is their country and they're friendly." "Been a pleasure knowing you, Mike." "I ain't likely to forget you two, neither." "Hey, you forgot your sack!" " That's yours." " Mine?" "Just a little something to remember us by." "Open it up." "Ain't she a pretty little pop gun?" ""To Mike Fink, King of the River, from his admirers, Davy Crockett and G. Russel."" "We figured you needed something to protect you against them redskin pirates upriver." "Don't reckon I'll need her for that." "But she'll come in handy for letting tavern keepers know Fink's a'comin'." "There's something else for you." "Oh." "You shouldn't have done it." "Georgie and me didn't want nobody thinkin' you still wasn't king." "Never was no danger of that." "You bushwhackers get a hankering to be river men again, look me up." "All right, get back to your poling, you fork-tailed scorpions!" "[Mike] And pull!" "Put your backs into it!" "Shove on them poles!" "What do you think this is?" "A pleasure cruise?" "We got a cargo to move!" "Here's a trail." "Probably lead us right to a Chickasaw camp." "* All through the wood We're a'marching along" "* Makin' up yarns And a'singin' a song" "* He's ringy as a bear And twice as strong" "* Thinks he's right 'Cause he ain't often wrong" "* Davy, Davy Crockett" "* Back in the woods again *" "What's the matter?" "If you'd been listening, you'd know ain't nothin' but you singin'." "Not a sound." "Not a bird or a squirrel." "Something must've scared 'em." "Must be a Chickasaw hunting' party nearby." "They ain't hunting' us." "Let's find them." "They'll find us, if we stay on this trail." "You quit the caterwauling'." "No need to scare off their game." " Davy, where are ya?" " You darn idiot!" "Cut me down." "[Chuckling] So you stepped in a deer snare, huh?" "Good thing Mike Fink can't see the King of the Wild Frontier now." "Ow!" "Ooh!" "[Whooping]" "What's the matter with you crazy Chickasaw?" "We're friends!" "You're making a terrible mistake!" "It's Davy Crockett you're trying to hog-tie?" "Don't you understand?" "Davy Cro... [speaks Chickasaw]" " Now you know where they was taking us." " What are they going to do with us?" "You've seen Red Hornet stirred up." "Shouldn't be hard to guess." "Mind your manners, Georgie." "This is the chief." "I am told you are the hunter white men call Davy Crockett." "He sure is, Chief." "You are known to us as friend of the red man." "We both are and look how you're treating us." "You and your friend will not be harmed, but you will remain prisoner." "Why are your men in war paint?" "We go to avenge the murder of our brothers." "This messenger has come from the chief of the Kaskaskias." "White men have been killing his people without reason, hunting them down like animals." "Kaskaskias?" "They're up on the Ohio around Cave-ln Rock." "No wonder, they've been attacking every boat comes down the river." "Do you understand?" "[Spits] They are white." "They hear only white man's lies." "This ain't something we heard." "We seen it, didn't we?" " Sure did." " When?" " Not more than three months ago." " We broke up a raid below the big cave." "More lies." "Three moons ago my people were driven from the river by the white man." " Must have been some other tribe." " There are no other red men here." " We have always kept the peace." " I believe you." " Know what this means?" " Could mean some white skunks are dressing up like Indians so they get the blame." "We're going to find out who they are." "You say you know me." "Then you know Davy Crockett's word is good." "We'll chase those varmints into the open." "If they ain't Indians, we'll see to it everybody finds out." "It is too late." "Already more messengers have gone to the Shawnee." "The Miami, the Kickapoo." "And the Chippewa." "Then call them back." "Send out runners of your own." " Tell the chiefs to keep the peace." " Know this, Davy Crockett." "We have always wanted peace with the white man." "But he does not want peace with us." "He makes treaties and calls us brother." " But he believes any evil he hears of us." " That's right." "But it works two ways." "To strike back at a few murdering whites, you'd turn the whole frontier into a needless war." "I will send runners." "But we will wait only until the full of the moon." "[Speaks Chickasaw]" "Sure hope that old Gullywhomper didn't pass before we got here." "We got a long way ahead of them, thanks to them Indians." "Why do you think Mike's gonna throw in with us?" " It's his river we aim to clean up." " Yeah." "That old chief didn't give us much time." "Won't take long for that new moon to fatten up." "Leastwise we ain't gonna waste no more time here." "Davy, you showed rare good sense in getting Mike Fink to help you." "Don't make no difference if they're red or white." "My skull busters will make mincemeat of them." "We gotta find 'em first." "I ain't certain they'll show theirselves after that whopping I gave them." "They're sure to recognise the Gullywhomper." "[Jocko] Hey, Mike!" "Look what's coming!" "Why, that's the Monogahela Belle." "But where's her crew?" "Prepare to grab her as she comes alongside, boys." "Aye, aye, Captain." "All right." "Hold onto this mud bank, you scummy river rats." "I knowed old Cap Donovan." "Looks like he put up a good fight before they wiped him out." "Thought you said these pirates wasn't Injuns." "Well, they ain't." "No redskin ever made this arrow." "Let me see that." "Yeah, you're right." "Ain't no tribal markings, ain't feathered right." "I wonder how far downstream she drifted since the massacre." "Ain't no way of telling." "Nah, they didn't hardly leave nothing." "They left these." "Try it on for size." "I wouldn't be caught dead in a monkey suit like that." "Won't be hard to disguise the Gullywhomper, but something's gotta be done about you." "Now, put it on." "Put it on." "[Men shouting]" "Good name for her, Garth." "Hide this below where we can get it in a hurry." " What's so heavy in that sack?" " Rocks." "Rocks?" "You featherheaded idiot!" "I'll find out what's going on here." " What in thunderation you up to?" " You're a banker, ain't you?" "Yes, sir." "King of the bankers, that's me." "On my way up to Shawnee Town to open a new establishment." "But what's these rocks got to do with that?" " Can't run a bank without money." " No." "Don't reckon." "That's your capital." "Genuine Spanish gold." "Say." "We're rich, ain't we?" "That's what we hope them pirates will think." "I figure if we stop in a couple of towns, they'll hear about our rich cargo." "Word'll get up river faster than we can." "* Oh, the river is long And the moon is high" "* And I want a gal before I die" "* Pretty little gal With a turned-up nose" "* And dancin' music In her twinkling toes" "* Oh, her cheeks is pink" "* And her smile is shy" "* And her hair's the color of midnight" "* Midnight sky" "Set 'em up again." "* Midnight sky *" " [applause]" " That banjo player's got real talent." "Oh, yes." "He hits this town every once in a while." " Plays to drum up business for himself." " Who is he?" "A peddler from back East." "Calls himself Colonel Plug." "I sure do admire classical music." "[Gags]" " What the devil is in this?" " Just your usual sarsaparilla, sir." "Delicious, ain't it?" "I don't believe I got your name, stranger." "J.J. McGillicuddy, on my way to Shawnee Town to open up a new bank." "I feel it my duty to inform you that river travel is not safe anymore here." "If you're referring to them pirates, we ain't carrying nothing they'd want." "No guns, no powder." "Not even no whiskey." "Just a cargo of old Spanish gold." "[String twangs]" "A cargo of gold?" "I'm surprised that your captain would risk that." " Well, you ain't scared any, are you, Cap?" " Not about the gold." " We'll believe them when we see 'em." " Those butchers are real." " Wrecks of boats drift by all the time." " And their crews?" "Dead men don't talk, but bodies are fished out scalped and in pieces." "No use trying to scare us." "We heard them Indian stories from New Orleans." "Listen, you know who Mike Fink is, don't you?" " Who is he?" " Mike Fink, the keelboat man." "Calls himself King of the River." "[George] Oh, that big blowhard." "What about him?" "Yeah." "What about him?" "I've heard that even he's going to quit the river." " You heard what?" " Yes, sir." "Even that brained jackass is too wise to risk it." "Jackass?" "[Straining]" "[Wood cracking]" "Mind your manners, Mr. McGillicuddy." "I'm okay, boys." "Just one of my seizures." "Excuse me, Mr. McGillicuddy." "I couldn't help overhearing." "But do you really intend going on up river?" "You think I'd go this far if I wasn't?" "Well, I admire a man of courage." "Just so happens that I'm mighty anxious to get to Shawnee Town myself." " We're pretty crowded already." " Shucks, I don't take up much room." "All I got is my sample case and my banjo." "A little music wouldn't hurt none, would it?" " This ain't no pleasure cruise." " Listen." "You may be the captain, but I'm the boss banker of this outfit." "What I say goes." " Did he get aboard this one?" " Yeah, just went into the cabin." "B-O-N-A-N-Z-A." " You ever hear of her?" " You know I can't spell." "Well, hello there, fellas." "Say, I got a new verse I want to try out on Mr. McGillicuddy." "[Whistling]" "Something mighty fishy about that peddler." "Why'd you let Mike bring him aboard?" "'Cause he's the first sucker that nibbled at our bait." "Hello." "Nice day." " Mighty pretty, this Ohio River country." " La belle rivière." "That's what the Frenchmen used to call it." "Parlez-vous français?" "Huh?" " You speak French?" " Oh, sure." "[* banjo plays]" "I've been saving this song for a time just like this." "* There was a widow In New Madrid" "* A'smokin' a pipe And a'chawin' on a quid" "* When she puckered up her lips I run for my life" "* But she run me down And now she is my wife" "* Oh, her lips is red" "* And her eyes is bold" "* And her hair's The color of yeller" "* Yeller gold" "* The color of yeller, yeller [shouting] * Yeller gold!" "[Soundtrack] * The river is long, And the moon is high" "* I want a gal Afore I die" "* A pretty little gal With a turned-up nose" "* And dancin' music In her twinkling toes" "* Oh, her lips is red" "* And her eyes is bold" "* Her hair's like yeller, yeller" "* Yeller gold" "* The color of yeller, yeller" "* Yeller gold * [loud music and chatter]" "[Man laughs] [* fiddle plays]" "Wait a minute!" "Wait a minute here." "[Man cackling]" "What you doing, Mason?" "Smokin' up a new batch?" " Won't keep if I don't." " You got your mattress stuffed." " What you want with more scalps?" " Got to keep folks thinkin' we're Injuns." "[Man] Hey, the Harpes is coming." "Did you hear that, Mason?" "The Harpes just come in." "Yeah." " More business for us?" " Yeah, and a fat one this time." " And the Colonel's aboard." " Good." "What's the cargo?" " Gold." " Yeller, yeller gold." "Mighty obliging' to ship it our way." "[Chuckles]" "This waiting's making me nervous." "Time's getting short." " That moon was half full last night." " We still got a few days." "It'll take a few days to get word back to Chickasaw." "Reckon we ain't got long to wait." "My boys is ready." "Full of fighting and itching to get at 'em." "Not so loud." "Don't want Colonel Plug to hear." " He's still sleeping." " Better make sure." "Take over, Mr. McGillicuddy." "This is called a tiller." "[Snoring]" "[Laughs]" "This is just about the place they jumped us afore." "I've worn this monkey suit long enough." "[Grunts]" "[Chuckling]" "Uh..." "Rocks." "Just plain rocks." "Mike Fink." "Davy Crockett?" "Oh, excuse me, boys." "I was having a little difficulty getting to sleep." "I thought you might like to hear a little music." "* It's Crockett and Fink" "* And down in the hold There's a cannon instead [muffled] * Of yeller, yeller gold." "That sounded like Plug." "But what's he singing about this time?" "What difference does it make now?" "He'll be skulling 'em pretty soon." "[Chuckles]" "You can't do this to me!" "Hey, Davy." "Bring up my cannon when you come." "[Grunts]" "If I'd knowed I'd have to tote this thing, I'd have argued for a pistol." "Hey, Moose." "Come aft and be gunner." "[Wood creaking]" "[Groaning sound]" "Why'd you slow her down?" "Lay them poles!" "What do you think we're doing!" "[Muffled shouting]" " Mike, we're dragging bottom!" " It's them rocks!" "Get 'em out!" "We're sinking!" "We're sinking, Mike!" " Sinking?" "We're sunk!" " [Whooping]" "Grab your pods boys, and let 'em have it!" "You can't do this to me." "I'll have the law on you." "They're attacking us from the rear!" "Get the powder!" "Come on, fill her up!" "I scalped him!" " What's holding them up?" " That boat's putting up a fight." "Get my powder and canoe in the water." "Give me a hand." "Hey!" "I'm on your side." "[George cackling] We got 'em on the run!" "No wonder, look what's coming." "Somebody's playing awful rough." "That's Sam Mason and the Harpe brothers." "The orneriest skunks." " They're getting away!" " No, they ain't." "You take the rest of them in." "Georgie'll run them varmints down." "Boot tracks." "They're the ones we want." "Big Harpe, stay here and keep watch." " Wait a minute, what about my share?" " You'll get what's coming to you." "Leave that big stuff." "We can't carry that on horseback." " That's enough." " We can't leave this for somebody else." "Nobody's going to find it till we get back." "That's what that keg of powder's for." " Somebody's coming up the trail." " Get out of sight." "Cave-ln Tavern ain't doing much business." "Don't think it ever was a tavern, Georgie." "You mean this is their hang out?" " It's gotta be." " You ain't going in there?" "Them varmints went someplace." "This is worse than crawling in a hollow log after a bear." "[Clanking]" "Hey, Davy." "Drafty in here." " Look what I found." " What was you muttering about?" "Same kind we found sticking in that wrecked keelboat." "Here's where they changed into Injuns." "Them three that we followed in here must be the ringleaders." "Stay here and I'll see if I can smoke something out." "Hey, Davy, what's keeping you?" "Plenty of loot in there." "They wouldn't go off and leave it." "Reckon they're still around." "This ought to lead to something mighty interesting." "[Explosion blast]" "[Laughter]" "Well, here we are splitting up again, you bushwhackers." "And if we never meet again, remember." "I'm still King of the River." "You're better than a king." "You're a first-class friend." "Yeah?" " You're the finest fighting man I know." " Aw!" "[laughing]" "After Davy." "All right, you scorpions!" "Start pulling!" "* Kept his promise To Mike and his crew" "* Kept his promise To the Injun chiefs too" "* For the river was clear All the way through" "* And blaming the Injuns Was a'proven untrue" "* Davy, Davy Crockett" "* King of the Wild Frontier *"