"one two" "Three everybody? but I can trace the entire path of my life to one childhood memory." "really." "it was the summer before ninth grade." "Scarface... and of course the loveable Old James." "hold on." "Wait a minute." "Old James..." "Old James wasn't there." "I don't even know nobody named Old James." "Shoot." "Go on!" "brother?" " All right." "Here goes nothin'." "I don't remember graduating'." "And my first sexual experience-- I don't remember that either." "I will never forget the first time I smoked... sweet chiva." "I feel my chest caving' in." " This stuff didn't even work." " Man!" "B." "I've heard people say they don't get high the first time they smoke." "not us." "really high." "We was toe up!" " Do you guys feel different?" " A little." "Scarface?" "Kenny?" "Kenny?" "I haven't been so thirsty in my entire life." "Do you guys hear that?" "Feels like Jerry Garcia's in my head." "Am I goin' crazy?" "We look at that day as the day we met the fifth member of our crew...marijuana!" "we was hooked!" "now we all live together in New York. or a janitor if you want to be a dick about it." "Frankensense and Burr Pharmaceutical." " They do pharmaceutical testing for the government... and big corporations and" "And I am the happiest custodian alive." "This job...sucks. you my only friend." "it could be worse." "I could have Scarface's job." "I'm right behind you!" "yo!" "B?" "Damn!" " Scarface is kind of a hyper guy for a pothead." " Sorry." "Kenny is probably doin' the best out of all of us. seeing as how he's a weedhead and all." "that guy does wonders for those children's self-esteem." "little one." "All of you." "All of you." "It's so good." " Brian works at a new and used record store." " Hi." " He gets to talk about music all day." " I got a used Kenny Loggins album." "Perfect job for a stoner." "you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record?" " I'll give you five." " Uh-uh." "He autographed it himself." "I'll give you four." "man." "you can get it all over this town." "but I'll tell you this:" " It takes a lot of fuckin' weed naps." " Free!" "You can get the stuff at little corner stores called bodegas." "Say it with me:" "very good." "fellas?" " Hey-Hey." " But the weed ain't bad." "I don't have no idea what you're talking about." "man." "Let me get them dimes." "the problem with bodegas is they never remember you." " You always have to do something extreme to let 'em know you're cool." "now." "Look at this." "eh?" "It was a little degrading. but their stuff ain't even weed most the time." "I don't fall for that shit anymore." "Then there's a delivery service run by a guy named Samson Simpson." "this is the best way." "from weed to heroin." "though." "Just weed." "Coming. you got a delivery guy at your house." "What a country!" "you called about your plumbing?" "Empty pipes?" " Secret code." " Come on in." "man?" "almost minty." "Notice the little red hairs." " Yeah." " And the rich greenery?" " I see those." " And it's definitely the highest grade hydroponics in the city." "nigger." "All right." "Give me a 50 bag of that." " Been a pleasure." " Pleasure's all mine." "would ya?" " Sure thing." "everybody has their own little ritual when it comes to smokin'." "fellas." " And we were no different." " Break out Billy Bong Thornton." " Yeah." "Whoo!" "man." "All right." "Light it up." "Shoes off." "man." "yo." "assume your positions." "Yeah." "Fire in the hole." "We found it on the corner So when we say" " Bip" " Oxygen bip" "Th-That's good yo?" " Not me." "I guess that'd be me." "What do you guys want?" "Get some... sour cream and onion chips... man." "Some beef jerky." "Some peanut butter." "Get some Haagen Dazs ice cream bars." "A whole lot." "man." "Some popcorn." "Bread." "Popcorn." "Graham crackers." "the little marshmallows." "man." "yo." "Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries." "man." "whole lot of water." "And..." "Funyuns." "Yeah." " That's it?" " Yeah." "yeah." "what's that stuff?" "We used to eat it all the time back in the day." " Pussy." "That's right." " You got it." "hey!" "call the police. we callin' Domino's." "yo." "girl." "nigger!" "I'm sorry." "I was talkin' to the horse." "See the trouble you're gettin' me into?" "aren't ya?" "Here." "You like popcorn." "pop. by my main man..." "Who?" "Sir Smoka Lot." "Ha!" "This guy is weed crazy." "Look at that." "you know what I want." "I wanna talk to Samson" "Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden" "'Cause it's hard bein' black and gifted" "Sometimes I wanna throw it all down and get lifted man." " He got the same dealer as us." " What you mean?" "right." "Everybody knows in my neighborhood it's the bestest around" "Samson's shit is blessed Got the whole town on lockdown" "That's where I want to live." "Right there." "Think about this shit please" "I'm all out." "I'm all out of food." "You ate it all." "you must've been so hungry." "Uh-oh." "Buttercup!" "Buttercup!" "now!" "Officer down." "I repeat:" "Officer down!" "What the hell did you give my Buttercup?" "I just gave him some candy and some chips... and some pink popcorn and some Funyuns" "This horse is a diabetic!" "Buttercup." "Buttercup." "Buttercup." " Breathe." " Breathe." "Breathe." "Why?" " Why?" " Why?" " You're under arrest." " What?" " You dumb son of a bitch!" " No!" "I'm a..." "I'm a peaceful man." " I'm a schoolteacher!" " Shut up!" "You're a cop killer." "Cop killer?" "I love horses." " I love horses." " I love horses." " I love buttered stuff." " Buttercup." " Say it." " Butter nuts." " Cup." "Cup." " Cup." "Cup." "child." "Bail is set at one million dollars for the crime of killing an officer of the law." "young man." " Court is adjourned." "Back to your cells." "Lockdown." "Fish." "Fish!" "Fish!" "Fish!" "Fish!" "Fish!" "My weed's wearing off." " Guess who?" " Yo." "Psst." "Thurgood." "what time is it?" " It's 8:30." "man." "yo." " Where the hell is he?" "Did he just move?" "Kenny called." "He's in jail." "He didn't leave a number." "The Guy on the couch." "man." "Kenny." "How they treating' you in there?" "Let's just say I'm not gettin' the respect a cop killer deserves." "time's up." "I was up all night getting harassed." "Fish." " See what I mean?" "I think they're mistakin' my kindness for weakness." "I'm scared." "man." "yo." "man!" "Hey!" "man." "I'm sorry." "I did everything right." "I never screwed up." "I fed the horse." "I didn't know it was a diabetic." "I'm scared." "Kenny." "Look at me." "Come on." "Don't let them see you cry in there." "man." "Show me your mean face." " No." "Kenny." "That's good." "but it's good." "how long can you make it in there?" "I don't know." "Maybe 5:00...6:30." "man." "It's gotta be a little longer than that." "guys?" "you're out." "You're out of here." " Free as a bird." "time's up!" "number nine." " That's me." "Let's go." "I love you guys." "Ken." "yo." "man." "yo." "is this your purse?" " Yes." " I'm sexy." "I'm a scholar." " People like me." " Give it to me." "where you goin'?" "can I leave with ya?" "Follow me." "And your name is?" " Mary Jane." " Really?" "Yes." "So what's up with this?" "this is my costume." "the day after that an Indian." "I dress up like a different Village Person." "It's a thing I'm into." "what are you here for?" " Possession of narcotics." " Wow." "that must've been the shit." " It ruined his life." " That must've been shitty." "I don't do drugs." "Drugs make me sick." "down with dope." "man." "We gotta go." "Get on the train." "Toke up before we go to work." "B." "man?" " Bouncy." "Body." "Is that Prell?" "Do you use Prell?" "Yeah." "That's what I'm talkin' about." "guys." "Meet Mary Jane." "That's what he's sayin'." "We wanna burn one." "no." "This is Mary Jane." "Meet her." "Say hello to her." "Shake her hand even." "my fault." "What's up?" " Hi." " All right." " Hey." "do you guys need a ride?" "I have a car." "you smoke?" "my grandmother died of lung cancer." " I'm sorry to hear that." "man." "Ease the pain." "Ah!" "What I'm talkin' about." "I think what they're tryin' to say is we'd love a ride home." "Great." " What the hell's wrong with y'all?" " She looked good." "man?" " I hate y'all." "Shotgun!" "thanks for this ride." "We really appreciate it." " Sure." "shut up about the weed for two seconds." "I don't want this girl to know I smoke." "yo." "dick." " Hey!" " Hey." "It's really real" "It's really real looks and skills" " Step on up if you think you fit the bill" " Yeah" "I know what you look like but looks can be deceivin'" "Let me check the brain so I can justify the reason" " Yeah" " Mister" "This good for ya?" "Could you drop me in the lobby?" "It's perfect." "I could feel she wanted me to say something." "I had to make my move while the guys were asleep. maybe go out for some ice cream or something?" "ice cream"!" " Damn." " Okay!" "man." "fellas." " Thanks for the ride." " Thurgood!" " I knew it!" " You forgot your hat." "I knew it." "I might've came on too strong with the whole ice cream thing." "Let me just give you my number." "Is that cool?" " Okay." " All right." "'cause you know I be stripping' in the evenings." "Joking!" "Here you go." "You can call me anytime you want." " Maybe." " "Maybe" is an acceptable answer." "It's that "no" thing that gets me." "Maybe I'll hear from you." " Bye." " Be thinking' about you." "please report to Clinical Studies." "Dr. Kablecki." "Janitor?" "Janitor?" "Aaah!" "scientist? but would you be a dear and run this down to the supply department?" " It's on the second floor." " Just run this down?" "Yes." "But make sure you bring the order right back to me." "I need it A.S.A.P." "but mop the rest of this shit up." "I'll be right back." "What it smell like?" "Smell like" "No." "man." "Hey." "Here you go." " This all you need?" " I guess." "I don't know." " Just a sec." " Okay." "Damn." "or somebody gotta do their shirt laundry." "Here you go." "and you can sign for it right here." "and it's mine?" "And I take it?" "yeah." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "Some good shit." "thank...you." "here's...here's a little something for your troubles." " Thank you." "Thank you." " Shh!" "okay?" "Sure." "Shh." "why didn't you tell me you were into this shit?" "no. are the medicinal purposes of marijuana." "Mmm." "Wow." "let me know." "My grandfather was in the Tuskegee experiments." "really?" "janitor." "Enjoy." "scientist." "Got any papers?" "No cocktail party would be complete without the ice plant." "fellas." "What's goin' on?" "man." "thinking' about Kenny." "Yeah." "if y'all wanna try it out." "yo." "We don't feel like smokin' right now." "Me neither." "Me neither." "y'all want to smoke?" " I'll get Billy Bong Thornton." "Scarface." "No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny." "man." "Use Wesley Pipes." "Yeah." "they got whole bunch of this stuff at work." "One of those scientists gave it to me." "but it smells like the bomb." "man." "Yeah." "I'll do the honors." " Excuse me." " Please do." "B." "My man ain't coughed like that since back in the day." "man?" "yeah." "That shit made my head hot." "man." "Pass it this way." "Don't break the cipher." "Oh...hold it." "I gotta give The Guy some of this." "The Guy gotta taste this." "Guy." "but you gotta try this." "man." "who's on munchies tonight?" "go." "but I can't even move." "right?" "yo." "I'm glued to the floor." "You guys feel like you're floating?" "Yeah." "Yeah." " Wanna go outside?" " Yeah." "but this weed was... the shiz-nittle-bam snip-snap-sack!" "look at that!" "you guys." "huh?" "You're not a fish." "You're a man." "You're not a fish." "You're a man." "Where did that come from?" "We've really gotta get this guy out of jail." "homo erectus!" "Did I say "homo"?" "I didn't mean that!" "Thurgood!" "Thurgood!" "I got it!" "I know how we could get Kenny out." "man." "We'll sell weed." "you can't up and decide to sell weed." "You gotta know people to plug you into that kind of thing." " I do!" " Who you know?" "yo." " Me?" "you think I can just walk in and take this shit?" "I gotta..." "I gotta get a form from a scientist." "man?" "There's gotta be forms laying around." "they are scientists." "man?" "I'm not stealin' weed." "We are not sellin' weed." "We are three reasonably bright young men." "yo." "There has got to be a legitimate way to come up with this money." "We just gotta think." "That's all that is." "Hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Wait." "Wait." "I think I got an idea." "yo?" " Yeah." " You suggested that already." "B?" "Marijuana affects the memory." "B." "yo." "right?" " Yeah." "fine." "Fine." "We'll do it." "and we're done." "We're not drug dealers." "We're fund-raisers." "man." "Okay." "brother." "yo." "It's like this." "Scarface's plan wasn't that bad." "Mike." " See you tomorrow." "Good night. forge one of the forms and put the order in like I did before." " Thank you." " Then we scraped together what little money we had... then stapled samples of our weed on the back of our business cards." "Then we called the company Mr. Nice Guy in honor of our friend Kenny." "you guys believe in angels or-- give me your fruit cocktail." "I can't. and I won't get all my vitamins." "Nasty Nate." "it's gonna be me." "You got a problem with that?" "'cause Squirrel Master ain't gonna be there for you all the time." "I'm gonna want some cocktail...fruit." "Take it." "I'm somebody's bitch. and everyone here likes fresh fish." "And then the Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch." "listen." "We got a plan." " What is it?" " It's not the most honest plan." "You might not like it." "great." "Weed." "Good." "Go." "man." " Go!" "No more window love." "Go and sell it." "We figured the best way to spread the word was to hit the streets." "And hit the streets we did." " Mary Jane" " How y'all feel about Mary Jane" " Y'all don't know about Mary Jane" " Mary Jane" "So listen to what they say 'cause Mary never could trip very necessary Extraordinary being' Mary" "One kiss from her sweet lips and out come a-vision" "Three for dinner." "Smoke that and get back to us." "baby." "He's on." " All right." " I'm in love with Mary Jane I'm not the only one yes." " Mary likes to play around" "Look at all these people!" "guys." "Be quick." "Let's just do this and get out of here." "man." " Let's go." " It's money." "Mary likes to spread her love" "And turn my head around" "I'm in love with Mary Jane" "She is my main thing She make me feel all right how'd you guys make out?" "B." " Me too." "That would make three of us." "right?" "I just hope they smoke it." "Mary Jane" " Mary Jane" "We're talkin' about Mary Jane" "How y'all feel about Mary Jane" " Mary Jane" " She's my main thing this weed is good." " Y'all don't know about Mary Jane" " Mary Jane" "She make my heart sing" "man." "Hold on." "Hold on." "I may have the wrong number." "is Thurgood around?" "hey." "It's Mary Jane." "Do you remember?" "I gave you a ride home from prison?" "could you be a little more specific?" "I get so many rides home from prison." "That was a joke." "Oh." "What happened?" "I didn't think you were gonna call me." "but then I decided I don't care what my friends think." "that was a joke." "Get it?" " A little joke." " Not funny." "you wanna get together?" "Okay." "Sure." "When?" "How 'bout right now?" "Just meet me at the place you dropped us off at." "Okay." "Can you give me half an hour?" "half an hour's cool." " Great." " All right." "Okay." " I'll see you there." " Bye." " Bye-bye." "I've got a date with Mary Jane!" "yo?" " Yes!" "man." " Y'all got money?" "The date couldn't have come at a worse time." "I was flat broke." "All my money was tied up in our drug-dealing venture." "I only had eight bucks." "This was gonna take some careful budgeting and maneuvering." " Hey." " Watch the master at work." " You look great." "You look wonderful." " Thank you. wanna go for a walk?" "sure." "We can go for a walk." "Good." "Good." "Let's." "so good." "I hadn't spent one penny." "I was good!" " And then it happened." " I'm hungry too." "huh?" "what luck." " Hot dog." "what can I get you?" " Could I have a hot dog with ketchup and sauerkraut?" " Sauerkraut's 50 cents extra." " Damn!" "I've not had a hot dog in so long." " Come on." "Let's get out of here." " Anything to drink?" "please?" "sir?" " No." "I'm fine." "Thank you." " Greedy bastard!" " Didn't you promise me ice cream the other day?" "I know a really good place uptown." "Great." "Let's hoof it." "do you mind if we take a cab this time?" "Sure." "buddy." "You should be happy with the tip I gave you." "Damn." " You should be kissing my ass." " You guys are greedy." "Best ice cream in town." " Spare change for some food?" " Oh." "young brother." "thank you." "I do miss my dad." "But...he deserves to be where he is." "Drug dealers belong in jail." "wow." "how long he been in there?" " Four years next month." " Four years." " And what exactly was he selling'?" " Marijuana." "Four years just for weed?" "Damn!" "no." "Not just." "Marijuana is terrible." "It's a gateway drug." "everybody knows that it leads to other stuff." "mostly junk food." "do you?" "Mary Jane." "do I look like somebody that would smoke...marijuana?" "So you swear you don't?" "sure." "swear on this banana split that you don't do marijuana." "my God." "Do you swear?" "Mary Jane." "I swear." "That you got pretty eyes." "That's good." "That's real good." "I got some booty." "I got some booty." "I got some booty." "It was really good too." "a caring nurturer." "and it was like I was 15 years old all over again." "I was hooked on Mary Jane." "man." "Everybody in New York was callin' to get down with Mr. Nice Guy." "like this guy here. 'cause he thinks marijuana makes every activity that much better." " Mi casa es su casa." " Observe." "right?" " Yeah." "man." " Did you ever see Scent of a Woman?" " Yep." "Did you ever see Scent of a Woman...on weed?" "man!" "It's just whacked!" "Pow!" "man." "I got it." "I got it." "yo." "Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill...on weed?" "man!" "There's a dude sittin' in the bushes." "Does he have a gun?" "man." "What?" "What?" "Red team go." "Red team go." "yo." "man." "I'm gonna check out the stars later." "man." "A scavenger smoker is someone who never has weed of their own." "here they come." " Damn!" " What up?" " Man!" "man." " What y'all doin'?" " Nothin'." "just chillin'." "What's the matter?" "Let me inhale it." "Let me have some." "you scavenger." "Always come around." "Can't even smoke weed in peace." "brother." "You know we sell this?" "I don't know if you knew that." "man." "I just stopped smokin' yesterday." "now." "Nice seeing y'all." " Yeah." "Look at that shit." " Man." "Then there's the "You Should've Been There" smoker." "back when weed was grass." "we used to smoke that shit on the street." "they was gettin' high too." "Everybody was doin' it." "you know?" "It was the thing to do because it got you high." " Can you dig?" " I feel ya." "That's why I'm doin' it." "mister." "but I gotta charge you." "That's 60 bucks." " Sixty bucks?" " Yeah." "you know what I mean?" " You know how much condoms used to cost in them days?" " How much?" "I don't know." "I..." "We never used 'em." "We call this kid the "After School Special" smoker." "He spends all of his allowance on reefer." "little buddy. trying to figure out a way to bond with his son." "Isn't that ironic?" "Don't you think?" "tryin' to ease her glaucoma." "And it's good for arthritis too." "man." "it was all profit." "we had to deliver full-time." "Scarface quit his job." "Julio." "Fuck you." "Fuck you." "Fuck you." "You're cool." "And fuck you." "I'm out!" "but they fired him before he could." "Don't worry." "Don't worry." "I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do:" "man!" "All I wanna know is:" "who's comin' with me?" "man?" "Who's comin' with me?" "man?" " I will." " Jan." "Jan. Yeah." "That's what I'm talkin' about." "man." "Yeah." "will you be my girlfriend?" "you know?" " Ohh." " I'm a big dyke." "What's that like?" " Thank you for calling." "Thank you very much." "Bye-bye." "We had to hire that girl Jan 'cause she followed Brian." " But it actually worked out." " Mr. Nice Guy." "and she was willing to work for weed." "then." "man." "We got customers from all over New York." "nigger?" "weed man." "baby." "Get on." "Beat it." "You're scarin' him." "Ha!" "Sir Smoka Lot." "Smoka Lot?" " Love weed." "let me get a pound of your sweetest chiva." "man." "shit." "Pound of my sweetest chiva." " Don't get no better than that." " Can smell it through the bag." "bro." "Let's see what I got here." "man." "Hang out for a minute." "Smoke with me." "son." "I'll stay for a minute." "But then I gotta be-- gotta be goin'." "I understand." "And Smoka Lot opened up to me like I was Barbara Walters." "It was ridiculous." " He told me about his lawyer." " He had sex with my mama!" "Why?" "if you listenin'...help!" " His bad back." " Doctor said I need a backeotomy." "bitch!" "talk about a guy with problems." " Tough break." " I can't take it no more." " No wonder he smokes a pound a week." " Somebody?" " So now we had a famous clientele and" "Greeneyes gonna miss ya." "about weed." "I got more booty!" "I got more booty!" "folks." "man." "I didn't even think about weed." " Didn't have to." " Bye." "She was all the Mary Jane I needed." "When I was young" "I never needed anyone" "Makin' love was just for fun" "Those days are gone" "All by myself" "Nate?" "Come on." "Come on." "Nate." "He had to stay vigilant." " Wash off your han" " Kenny's butthole was in constant jeopardy." "mates?" "boy?" "yo?" " Nada." "I'm just chillin'." "guys." "Why is there a dog biting The Guy?" "B." " Bought a dog?" "he's used." "yo." "You spent $250 on a used dog?" "yo." "Brian bought something too." "man." " Who the hell told you that?" " The guy who sold it to me." "Barry Garcia." "And what he's supposed to be?" "Jerry Garcia's brother?" "it's Andy Garcia's brother." "remember?" "you said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace." "man?" " Ah." "Brian." "yo." " Why am I telling' Mary Jane I don't have any money?" " 'Cause you're a fibber." "because we don't have any money." "The money we do have is not for spending." "man!" "I swear I will bitch-slap you." "Gimme that." "Sorry for yelling." "But I'm serious." "We gotta start bein' more responsible and focused." "All right?" "Let's be sharp." "man." "all right." "Somebody gotta do somethin' about this shit right now." "doggie." "little fella." "Smell it?" "Hey!" "Smell it." "Okay." "All right." "Mm." "Good boy." "man." "aren't they?" "Now you're one of us." "Killer." "he really likes it." "yo?" "kill!" "This weed is fantastic! like this lady." " She's an "I'm Only Creative If I Smoke" smoker." " Hi." "brings out the artist in her." " Would you like to hear some of my poetry?" " Not really." "You really should." "I have killed." "I have helped kill." "I." "I must seek Buddha." "I must seek Christ." "but that's my own-- especially when it comes to reefer." "we're out of papers." "a corkscrew and some tin foil." "We don't have a corkscrew." "an ice pick and my snorkel." "bro." "I've made bongs with less." "Hurry up!" " And then you got your straight-up potheads." " Ooh! the dreaded low sperm count." "but I'll tell you this:" "We ain't no goddamn potheads." "Hmm." "Shit." "Then you have the avid nonsmoker. call up and place an order knowing they don't smoke weed... and request that you personally deliver it." "they're all mad that it's you sellin' weed." "You smoke weed?" "At last we can share everything." "you lying son of a bitch!" "What is this?" "Looks like some sort of a business card." "I can't believe this!" "I can't believe that I fell for another one of you lowlife assholes again." "what is wrong with me?" " Hey-- all right?" "Thurgood." " Wait!" "Hold up!" "Mary Jane!" "the only reason I lied to you was because I like you... and I wanted to be with you." "Mary Jane." "Knight Rider." "A shadowy flight into the dangerous world... of a man who does not exist." "man?" "yo." " Sir Smoka Lot's on TV." " Cecil?" "I pick up that card with the smiley face" "Call him over to my place it gets you high" " And that's when things started going wrong." "baby." "Samson?" "Do I look like I like what I see?" "Who is this Mr. Nice Guy?" "I would imagine he's some sort of drug dealer." "Go get me this Mr. Nice Guy." " I wanna sit him down and ask him some questions." "Squirrel Master." " Kenny." "just wanted to say thank you... for protecting me back there." "Fuzzy Nuts?" "I hope there's some way I can pay you back when we get on the outside." "You better hurry up." "I get out in 11 days." "Is that right?" "man." "I'm as good as skewered." "Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield?" "Thurgood." "man!" "Please!" "Please!" "Eleven days wasn't gonna give us much time." "and that meant taking' on new customers." "B!" "I been set up." "We'll get back to that in a second." "a week." "man." "I missed her." "Then I started thinkin' about the fact that she was the only girl I slept with in five years." "Then I started thinkin' about the girl I slept with before Mary Jane." "I had to get Mary Jane back." "What do you want?" "Mary Jane." "I miss you." "I'll do whatever it takes to get you back." "but I'll quit smokin' it." "then-- then I'll change for you." " Heard that before." " Said that before." "But this time I mean it." "I'm gonna come back here." "I'm gonna be clean." "no more nothin'." "you'll see." "I'll be back." "I'll be a changed man." "There's a new Thurgood Jenkins today." "I love you." "that first day of sobriety sucked." "And I realized something:" "I was a real irritable guy when I wasn't smoking' marijuana." "I couldn't stop thinkin' about gettin' high." "It was time to get help." "everyone." "My name is Thurgood." "Thurgood." " Hi." "I'm here today because I'm addicted...to marijuana." "You in here because of marijuana?" "Marijuana?" "this is some bullshit!" "Marijuana is not a drug." " I used to suck dick for coke." " I seen him!" "man." " You ever suck dick for marijuana?" " Huh?" "I can't say I have." " I didn't think so." " Boo this man!" " Boo!" "No." "No!" "No!" "Devil man." "Devil...666-- The mark of the beast!" "No!" "Naughty!" "Naughty jungle of love!" " The man is serious." " Calm down." "How serious can it be?" "He wants to see Mr. Nice Guy." "He told me." "man." "yo!" "B!" "man." "man." " Hey." " He killed" "I'm gonna call Brian." "all right?" "man." "Jesus Christ." "man!" "You stepped on his head!" "I'm sorry." "I didn't even see him." "I gotta smoke." "I have got to smoke." "man?" "You wanna know what happened?" "I'll tell you what happened." "Samson and his girls came rollin' up in here lookin' for me." "They was gonna mess me up if I didn't bring them Mr. Nice Guy. then they started goin' to war with the apartment." "bolos." "They be doin' Indian burns." "yo." "yo." "I think it's more complex than that." " More complex than that?" " You know what I think happened?" "man? you gotta understand who Killer the dog was." "Killer was born to a three-legged bitch mother." "man." "Tito Liebowitz." "He's a small-time gunrunner... rottweiler fight promoter." "So he puts Killer into training." "They see Killer's good." "He is damn good." "But then he had the fight of his life." "They pit him against his brother Nibbles." "that's my brother." "I can't fight Nibbles!" "And he made 'em fight anyway." "he killed Nibbles." "That's it." "and he freaked out. and his heart... no longer beat." "Wow. but you two smoke entirely too much reefer." "What if The Guy did it?" "No way." "You think?" "Yo?" "did you kill my dog?" "but I do." "yo." "Party Accessories." "did you get my message?" "smarty-pants." "Operator with an emergency breakthrough from your sister." "this is Sheila." "Mama fell-- bitch!" "You tell Mr. Nice Guy to get his Jamaican ass... over to my place at 3:00 tomorrow!" "sir." " Shit." " All right." "I'll tell 'em." "my God." "We're in a lot of trouble." "perhaps you could help me." "Why do you think Samson thinks that Mr. Nice Guy's a Jamaican?" "yo." " Why?" " I just thought he sounded Jamaican inside my head." "guys." "We have a meeting with Samson tomorrow at 3:00." "Where are we gonna get a Jamaican?" "man." "Yeah." "You have smoked yourself retarded." "if it isn't Mr. Nice Guy." "Welcome to my lair." "now." "Tell me a little bit about yourself." "man." "Lord have mercy." "What part of Jamaica?" "Right near the beach-- Boy" "I think you're bullshitting me." "I stick by my story!" "I'm from Jamaica." "then why would I wear this hat?" "Hmm? get me 814." "814." "What the fuck is 814?" "y'all." "I don't want to be the first nigger to die from a crossbow." "I have been lying to you." "I'm sorry." "Okay?" "We..." "We just started this because our friend got locked up." "you know how that is." "We had to get him outta jail." "Now this is what's gonna happen." "000 a week." "Shit." "I wish. or you're dead!" "You understand?" "right guys?" "It's fair." "Class dismissed." "man." "man." "Feel us-- man?" "Come on." "we're dead." "All of us!" "to lend you some money?" "that's Brian's boy." "man." "what day is it?" " Saturday." "Is it January?" "it's August." "wow." "August." "I couldn't help overhearing you guys." "you should rob that lab." "Tomorrow's Sunday." "There'll be no one in there." "Just go in and rob the place blind." "I promise you. are you plannin' on movin' out anytime soon?" "why don't you just focus on one thing at a time?" "I'll be fine." "The robbery is what's important now." "yo." "All right." "Now all we gotta do is go down this hatch to the second-floor supply room." "and we are outta here!" "man!" "This is it?" "Let's do it." "Watch your step." "man." "I smoke weed here all the time." "This door's never locked." "I didn't say the alarm would be off." "yo!" "wait up!" "Oh." "Hold up!" "the custodian?" " Yeah." " Want me to call the cops?" " No." "This is too much fun." "Right over here!" "Come on!" "I hope there's some left." "Maui Wowie!" "I never seen this much weed in my life!" "Let's go!" "man!" "Get down on your knees with your hands behind your head." "B." "man." "yo." "Whoa!" "My nads!" "Oh!" "man!" "Get down on your knees with your hands behind your head!" "Move in." "Breaking and entering." "You got me?" "Open and shut." "I say we book 'em." "You got me?" "We book 'em." "guys." "It's not open and shut." "What do you guys do for a living?" "we're detectives." "detect." "Ask us somethin'." "this Mr. Nice Guy?" " Yeah." "yo." "but that's neither here nor there." "we can't bring him down." " Crazy." "But we can bring you Samson." "Just ask me how." "Ask me!" "How are you gonna bring Samson down?" "We got a meeting with him in a couple days." "I'll wear a wire." "Hmm?" "000 in this knapsack. buy whatever narcotics he's got around." "You got me?" "You paying attention?" "man." "we got nothin'." "and make sure that you get Samson to say it." " No codes." "No slang." " Yeah." "Abracadabra." " Abracadabra." " Abracadabra?" " Okay." "Okay." " Make sure that you are relaxed." "And just act completely normal." " That's gonna be a problem." " What do you mean?" "man." "Samson is gonna know somethin's up." "if you think it's gonna help." "I think that's gonna help." "You got a light?" "Mmm." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Officer." "Thurgood." "yo!" "could you-- could you give this letter to Mary Jane Potman?" "kid." "And..." "And tell our friend Kenny Davis we love him." "He's in prison." " Let's go." "Come on." " All right." "Let's move." "Just remember to speak clearly." " Get him to say what he's sellin' you." " Yeah." "It ain't always good... to get high before you have important things to do." "the cops had our backs." "Samson." "So...where's the money?" "Right here in my bag." "can I ask you a question?" "Go ahead." "Do you know where we can score some cocaine?" "thanks." "But it'd be great if we can get some cocaine." "What's so funny?" "Those guys-- Those guys are doomed!" "I can't feel my hands!" "I..." "I can feel them." "What we have here... is some Columbian heaven." "Pure cocaine." " Candy makes you dandy." " Hmm." "B?" "like more cocaine?" "And that is?" "Fine China." "Babaloo." "yo." " Yeah." "Is that heroin?" "You've got to be the dumbest dealers in the history of the dope game." "yo?" " Good." " Just call me Jesse Owens." "can we get some cocaine and get the hell outta here?" " Okay." " Can I buy some of your heroin too?" "Okay." "All right." "All right." "It's been a pleasure doing business with you." "Thank you very much for the heroin and the cocaine." "Here's your money." "All right." "Abracadabra." "man!" "Abracadabra." "You're all the Mary Jane I'll ever need." "man." "why do you keep saying that?" "What?" "Abracadabra?" "Yes." "Abracadabra." "all right?" "my brother." " What's up?" "Abracadabra." "take off your shirt." "I hardly know you." " Ladies." " Abracadabra." "yo!" "Abracadabra!" "Abra" "You're dead!" "All of you!" "let's beat these bitches!" "Let's work it out." "your titty." "man." "That is an official fully." "Aah!" "man." " Look out!" "B." "surprise." "Look who's walkin'." "I thought you said you was crippled." "we're all crippled in some way." " Put it down!" " You win." "Now... this is the way it's gonna work. and I'm gonna kill him." "Cuban B." "we need you." "B!" "man!" "wow." "man!" "man!" "man." "man." "Brian." "Peace." "abracadabra." " Whoa!" " All right." " What the hell's goin' on here?" "man." "Thurgood." "Nice letter." " Gimme that back." " Queer." "shit!" "Nobody move!" "but that's not important." "and Kenny was finally free." "Hallelujah! where I had to make things right with Mary Jane." " Hi." " Are you?" "when Kenny got-- listen." "I'm done." "I'm done selling' it." "right here." "I just wanted you to see me get rid of it." "Could we just have a-- a moment alone?" "Do what you gotta do." "Be strong." "baby. bein' with you these past 11 years has been wonderful." "But I gotta move on." "Come on." "Smoke me." "Have a quickie for old time's sake." "No." "She's looking." "She's looking." "All right." "Real quick." "No." "No!" "It wouldn't be right." "Goddamn you!" "You'll be back!" "Everything work out okay?" "I love you." "I love you too." "I know." "I know what you're thinkin'." "right?" " I'm your girl now." "okay?" "I love it." "But not as much as I love pussy." "The End." "I get lifted up high" "I get lifted up high baby" "We're alone girl" "You turn me on" "I get lifted up high" "I get lifted up high" "You've got the love that babe" "You've got the match that lights my life" "I get lifted up high" "I get lifted up high" "I get lifted up high" "I get lifted up high" "You got the love that babe" "You've got the match that lights my fire" "I get lifted up high" "I get lifted up high" "I get lifted up high" "I get lifted up high" "I'm Dave Chappelle. go to your local library." "the more you read" " The smarter you are." "Yea!" "man." "Inc." "Los Angeles"