"This is basically a very nasty tale, but if I've managed to learn one thing in my 35 years of story writing, it is this-- nastiness and horror must be handled with great circumspection because, if left on their own," "they will always taste bitter in the end, but if humor is added to the mixture, then the tension is relieved by laughter, and the bitterness is banished." "In this story, we have an actress who knows a tremendous lot about the importance of humor, so I don't think you need worry." "Come along now, Mrs. Pearl." "It's for the best." "Happy release." "Would you like to come into sister's office?" "That's right." "Quietly now, dear." "MAN:" "In midst of life, we are in death." "Of whom may we seek for succor but of thee, O Lord, who for our sins art most justly displeased." "For as much as it hath pleased Almighty God of His great mercy to take unto Himself the soul of our dear brother here departed." "Mary." "My dear." "Hello, Arthur." "I'm sorry." "You'll have to forgive me." "Oh, I understand." "It's nice to see you again, Arthur." "It's very nice to see you, too, Mary." "I wish it could have been under happier circumstances." "You mean, William didn't leave me very much?" "It's a joke, Arthur, just a little joke." "Oh." "Oh, yes." "Yes." "Of course." "Won't you sit down?" "Yes." "Yes." "Of course." "Well, life goes on." "Yes." "Yes." "Of course." "Poor William." "I've been his lawyer and his friend for almost a quarter of a century." "Great loss, both to you and to the university." "The university?" "Yes." "Well, all that was in the obituary notices." "I'm sure you must have felt extremely gratified." ""The greatest academic brain of his day."" "Academic." "Yes." "Well, it's all fairly straightforward, but I'm afraid you're quite right, my dear." "William didn't leave a great deal-- this house and about 3,000 pounds." "I see." "I'll just have to go on living in the style to which I have been accustomed." "That's another joke, Arthur." "Oh." "Yes." "Yes." "There is something else, a... a sealed letter." "It's addressed to you, but I'm instructed to open it and to read it aloud in your presence." "I expect it's something to do with the college." "Some wives compete with other women, Arthur." "I had to compete with the university." "Oh." "Well, yes." ""To be read to my widow" ""Mary Luella Pearl" ""by my lawyer Arthur Baxter" ""exactly one week after my death." ""I hereby instruct my widow" ""Mary Luella Pearl" ""to telephone Dr. John Landy" ""and to make an appointment" ""to see the said doctor." ""This is to be executed in Mr. Baxter's presence."" "Dr. John Landy." "He works at the hospital where William died, doesn't he, I think?" "Do you know him?" "No, I don't." "He's some kind of neurosurgeon." "Rather distinguished." "How very odd." ""And Mr. Baxter is further charged" ""with making certain that my widow keeps the appointment."" "Signed, "William Pearl."" "Good gracious me." "Why--why would William want me to see a neurosurgeon, I wonder?" "I have no idea." "Th--this letter was sent to me through the post some 2 or 3 days before William died." "I've suddenly got a kind of nervous feeling, sort of shivery." ""P.S. I also urge my widow" ""to continue to observe those precepts" ""which have guided our life together." ""Do not drink alcohol," ""avoid television at all costs," ""do not use makeup, do not smoke cigarettes," ""keep my rose beds and rockery" ""well weeded in the summer," ""and incidentally, I suggest that you have" ""the telephone disconnected now that I have no further use for it."" "He really did genuinely care about me, didn't he, Arthur?" "Well, like the dead man says, in the presence of Mr. Baxter," "I have to make a phone call." "[Telephone buzzes]" "Yes?" "WOMAN:" "Mrs. Pearl and Mr. Baxter are here." "Show them in." "Mrs. Pearl." "Dr. Landy." "Well, I have discharged my duty." "I have seen to it that you have kept this appointment." "I bid you good day." "Do sit." "Thank you." "It was, um, good of you to see me, Dr. Landy, at William's request." "Would you like to tell me why he wanted us to get together?" "He told you nothing about me?" "No." "Well, yes." "He may have mentioned your name once or twice." "His research into criminal psychopathology brought us into contact." "I had developed a new prefrontal lobotomy technique in certain cases to remove the abnormal portion of the brain." "It was not unsuccessful." "I'm glad to hear that." "Did he tell you I had been in to see him about 6 weeks before he died?" "No, he did not." "I admired him enormously." "First-class brain." "Yes." "He was clever, all right." ""William," I said," ""you're just the one I want."" "Want for what?" "Mrs. Pearl, do you believe in life after death?" "Dr. Landy, you're making me very nervous." "I didn't mean to do that." "Yes." "Well, it's just that, um, ever since Mr. Baxter read me William's letter," "I've... had this feeling." "Yes?" "About William." "Yes?" "I've had this feeling-- you'll probably laugh at me, but I--I have had this feeling that William is watching me." "Go on now." "Thank you." "I expect it's the aftereffects of--of grief." "Perhaps." "Perhaps not." "You'll understand more when I tell you about the agreement William and I reached." "Agreement?" "Shortly before his death." "About what?" "What would you say if I were to tell you that William is alive?" "Well, I--I'd say that you were in need of one of your prefrontal lobotomies." "That--that's what I'd say, I think." "I'm not joking." "We buried William, Dr. Landy, remember?" "Nevertheless, he's alive." "He's in there." "I didn't mean to upset you." "Feeling better now?" "Dr. Landy, may I ask you a question?" "Please." "If William is alive and behind that door, why don't you ask him to come in here?" "It's not quite like that, Mrs. Pearl." "Don't you think you ought to tell me what it is quite like?" "Now, what does that look like to you?" "I don't--it's a-- it's a dog." "On a plate." "On a plate?" "The dog's head is on a plate." "His name is Igor." "He's Russian." "The head has been completely severed from the body." "Oh, God." "But it is alive." "As you can see, a normal blood supply is being maintained with an artificial heart." "The brain is functioning." "Now, as you can see, food is being offered." "The dog's tongue comes out to lick it away." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "What in God's" "Not so fast, Mrs. Pearl." "What--what in God's" "I put it to William." "I said, "If it is possible" ""for a dog's brain to remain alive," ""why should the experiment not be perfected upon a human being?"" "Oh, my God!" "You--you've got William's head in there" "I put it to William." "I said, "What I need is a guinea pig, a human guinea pig, of course,"" "and he agreed." "He what?" "He did" "Said yes." "He--he--he agreed." "I don't believe you." "I don't believe you." "William would never have agreed to anything so-- he was much too" "Cautious?" "Well, I put it to him exactly how I would proceed." "First, I would have to enlist the aid of an artificial heart." "Second, I would have to step in at the right moment just before death to remove the brain from the skull because the object, you see, was to keep the brain alive." "But William is dead." "How can his brain be alive?" "It was rather tricky." "We only had 3 minutes to complete the transfer of blood supply to the brain." "It's all we had, just 3 minutes." "God." "What about the pain when you started" "William asked me that question, so I agreed to give him a shot of procaine just in case." "You gave a-- you gave a dead body an anesthetic?" "No, no." "At that moment, the body was not yet dead." "So William insisted." "Well, I won't go into the vast amount of technical problems we had to overcome, but suffice it to say that the experiment was a complete and unqualified success." "But I don't understand." "What--what is the point of just having a brain?" "Because it continues to function." "It continues to function?" "Yes." "We've got it hooked up to an encephalograph." "The slightest response is recorded." "Now, I have transferred it to a basin containing what we know as Ringer's solution." "It's used for irrigation in neurosurgery." "The stubs of the arteries and the veins are connected to the heart machine, and all his thinking processes are working beautifully." "You mean to tell me that--that this brain" "I--I mean, William can--can talk?" "I knew I had forgotten something." "I hadn't told you about the eye." "The eye?" "Yes." "We kept one of the optic nerves intact together with the eye." "William wanted an ear, as well, but that wouldn't have been practicable." "Now, we know it's seeing because the slightest response is recorded through the deflections on the encephalograph." "And he's in there?" "Yes." "In a basin?" "Yes." "I see." "And now--ahem..." "I want you to go in and talk to it." "No." "No, doctor, I" "We want to do all we can to keep it happy." "What do you mean, "it"?" "You mean him, don't you?" "Keep him happy." "I beg your pardon." "Of course." "Yes, yes." "It would do it-- uh, uh, him good to see you." "You could smile at him, blow him a kiss, that sort of thing." "Oh, God!" "Look." "You mustn't be too surprised by what he looks like." "It's bound to be a little bit of a shock at first." "He's not very attractive in his present state," "I'm afraid." "I didn't marry him for his looks, Dr. Landy." "Good, good." "Well, then?" "All right." "This way then." "Look." "He won't be able to see you when you come into the room until you, um, put your face directly above his eye." "The eye is always open, but he can't move it, so the field of vision is narrow." "It always was." "Come along then." "[Machinery pulsing]" "Where's-- where is he?" "No need to whisper." "He can't hear a thing." "All right?" "Let's move a little closer." "That's right." "This way." "Now, you see?" "It's his eye, right eye." "Now, the brain in the Ringer's solution in the basin is contained by this box with leads to the artificial heart." "His eye is floating-- Ringer's solution again-- in this plastic container with a lens attached similar to one that he had in his own spectacles." "So at the moment, he's looking up at the ceiling." "Not much to look at, is it?" "Oh." "Don't worry about that." "No, no." "We're going to rig up a little device to widen his vision." "We're working out an entire program to keep him amused-- books to read, television." "Not television." "He disapproved" "I mean, he disapproves of television." "I'm most grateful for the information." "Don't want to upset him, do we?" "No." "Now shall we come quite close?" "There is William." "Now, you have to put your face right above his eye." "[Pulsing speeds up]" "Now he--now he can see me." "Yes." "And he can see you, and you can smile at him." "Of course, he can't smile back." "[Pulsing slows down]" "Hello, William." "It's me--Mary." "He's seeing you!" "He's recognized you." "[Pulsing speeds up]" "[Pulsing slows down]" "[Pulsing speeds up]" "You're look-look- looking well" "He can't hear a word you're saying." "Oh." "But he can-- he can see me?" "Perfectly." "OK." "Must be wondering what's happened to him." "Not at all." "He knows perfectly well where he is and why he's here." "You mean, he-- he knows he's in-- in this--in this box?" "But of course." "William is his brain." "There is no difference between this William here and the one you were married to." "Is that a fact?" "Quiet now, isn't he?" "Naturally he's quiet." "Odd--William quiet." "It's not like him, not like him at all." "You'll get used to it." "I don't know." "Funny feeling, that eye... still watching me after 22 years." "Exactly." "You know something, Dr. Landy?" "What?" "I'm beginning-- I'm beginning to feel a--an affection for William." "I mean, an enormous affection for William like..." "like this." "Now, does that sound strange to you?" "Not at all." "I'm delighted to hear it." "He's like a--he's like a baby, isn't he?" "He's just like a-- like a little baby." "We never had any children, Dr. Landy." "William didn't like children, did you, dear?" "[Pulsing speeds up]" "Well, never mind." "Mary's going to look after you from now on." "When can I take him home, Dr. Landy?" "I beg your pardon." "I said, when can I take him home, to my--to my home, to...our home?" "Oh." "He couldn't possibly be moved." "I don't see why not." "This is an experiment, Mrs. Pearl." "One man's experiment is another woman's husband, Dr. Landy." "You're joking." "No." "No." "I'm not joking." "But this entire equipment." "I have plenty of room in my house for all this equipment." "I couldn't possibly permit it." "Dr. Landy, you mustn't come between a husband and a wife." "But you're a widow." "But that's not what you said." ""William is alive." ""There is no difference between this William here and the one you were married to."" "But" "No more buts, Dr. Landy." "He bequeathed his brain to me." "Nuts, Dr. Landy!" "He's my husband." "And I want him home." "[Rock music playing]" "Now, come on, William, admit it." "Perfect, isn't it, the two of us alone... here together?" "Take it easy, William." "You'll do yourself an injury." "I don't know about you, but I feel wonderful." "I mean, we don't argue anymore." "You don't criticize me all the time." "I don't have to wash and iron your shirts." "I don't have to cook your meals." "All I have to do is to listen to the throb of your heart machine." "Do you know it's a rather soothing sound actually and not loud enough to interfere with the television?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "There." "Can you see all right?" "Now, don't look cross, William." "It's no good looking cross." "[Pulsing speeds up]" "Cheer up!" "Ha ha ha!" "Here's mud in your eye." "I just have to say, William, it's heaven having you home." "It's like they say." "Life goes on... and on... and on." "Sorry."