"(MAN) Sue, don't misunderstand me." "I'm not complaining about your work." "I have your latest piece here, it's great." "But you were due back yesterday." "But, Richard, there's one more story I just have to do." " There's always one more story." " But listen to this." "Last month this guy in the Northern Territory was attacked by a crocodile." "It bit his leg right off, left him there to die a hundred miles from nowhere." "A week later he crawls out of the bush, gets patched up and disappears." "No interviews, no pictures, nothing." "I tracked him down." "He runs a safari business out of somewhere called Walkabout Creek." "And his name... get this." "Michael J. Crocodile Dundee." "Even if this is for real, it could take weeks to nail him down." "I've made arrangements to meet him." "I got a chopper meeting me," "I'll be there tonight." "Yeah..." "OK..." " I really miss you, darling." " I miss you, too." " Take care now." " Don't worry, I'm a New Yorker!" "Walter Reilly, Never-Never Safaris." "I'm Mr Dundee's business partner." " Nice to meet you, Mr Reilly." " Please, call me Walter." "We're pretty informal in the bush." "No..." "let me." "There you go." " You all right?" " Yes." "I'm sorry that Mr Dundee isn't here himself to meet you, but he is here in town... somewhere." "Welcome to Walkabout Creek." "I took the liberty of booking you into our hotel." "I trust that's in order?" " Sounds just fine." " There's just one other thing..." "You did say that you were prepared to pay the $2,500?" "Absolutely." "And I'll see where he was attacked and how he survived?" "Miss, I assure you you're gonna spend a few wonderful days here." "Five bucks, anyone who can make Donk spill it." " What's the sideshow all about?" " Just the boys having fun and games." "Donk's never spilled a drop." "We're a pretty tough breed up here." " And your Mr Dundee, does he..." " No, he's very reserved." "He's a legend up here." "There he was doing a quiet spot of fishing when all of a sudden... bang!" "This giant crocodile came up, turned him over, bit half his leg off, dragged him down under." "Killed it, of course." "I mean, any normal man would have just turned up his toes and died." "But not our Mick." "No." "Hundreds of miles..." "Snake-infested swamps..." "On his hands and knees he crawled right into Katherine." "Straight past the hospital and into the first pub for a beer!" "That story's getting better every time you tell it, Wally!" "We handle ourselves pretty well here." "But if you're talking legend..." "Oh, my God!" "Two beers, Ide... one for me, one for me mate." ""One for your mate", you mad bugger!" "Oh, hang on..." "I'm sorry if that frightened you, Miss." "You see, it's stuffed." "Him and me both, Wal." "Michael J. Crocodile Dundee." " Never-Never Safaris." " Yes." "Never go out with us." "If you do, you'll never come back." "Right, Wal?" "Sue Charlton, Newsday." "Yeah, I thought you might be." "(MUSIC PLAYS)" "Here, Wal." "Mind Cyril for me while I dance with this charming young lady." "Legend has it a crocodile took half your leg off." "A slight exaggeration." "More like a love bite, really." "There you are, enough about me leg." "Let me tell you about the rest of me." "Up north in the Never-Never, where the land is harsh and bare, lives a mighty hunter named Mick Dundee who can dance like Fred Astaire." "Smooth, Shag, eh?" " What was the name of this clown?" " Mick Dundee." "The bloke that was grabbed by a croc on the Rapid River." " What was he doing up there?" " It's full of crocs!" "What do you think?" "Just a bloody poacher, eh?" "I want you to take me where you were attacked." "Show me how you survived." "Just the two of us out there alone?" "I got my reputation to think about." "Hey, Dundee!" "Where can a man shoot a few crocs around here?" "How would I know, Shit-For-Brains?" "Just relax." "Every man and his dog in the joint know you're nothing but a croc poacher." "Sorry, but I won't have anyone using bad language in front of a lady." "Bad language?" "Don't come back!" "What was he saying about you being a poacher?" "He was just trying to get a bite." " Donk, tonight's me lucky night." " You want to have a hit at my guts?" "Put your money on me, guys!" "Come on, Mick." "Give him one of your kicks, Donk!" "I'm sorry, he's not normally like this." "I do apologise, it's just the drink." "You mean, there's a serious side to him?" "I can hardly wait." "Comfortable, Miss?" " Wonderful country out here." " We think so." "I hope you're not gonna be the strong, silent type." " Reluctant to talk about yourself?" " Nah, favourite subject." " Why 'Crocodile'?" " Wal's idea." "He reckons it makes me more colourful for the tourist business." "(SUE) How old are you?" "(MICK) Dunno." "(MICK) What year is this?" "(SUE) You don't know?" "(WALT) Time doesn't mean much up here." "The Aborigines don't have calendars." "(MICK) I was raised by the local tribe." "I asked one of the tribal elders when I was born, and he said," ""In the summertime."" "And is there a Mrs Crocodile Dundee?" "I was sort of married once." "Nice girl, good cook." "Big..." "I went off on a Walkabout, and when I came back, she'd gone." " A 'Walkabout'?" " That's an Aboriginal habit." "It means to wander around and discover new places." " How long were you gone?" " Couple of months." "Try eighteen." "And she didn't wait?" "Strange girl." "Yeah." "Out of the way, dopey!" "Jesus..." " That was amazing." " Mind over matter." "Old bushman's trick." "All right, Miss, all ashore." "Now I'm gonna leave you in Mick's capable hands, and I'll meet you at the Echo Billabong on Wednesday." "2.20." "We'd better get started." " 2.20?" " That's the way we do it in the bush." "Don't worry, he's the best bushman in the territory." "Best pupil I ever had." " You ready, lady?" " Ready as I'll ever be." " Right, well, till Wednesday?" " Wednesday." " What's today, Wal?" " Monday." "Doesn't know... doesn't care." "Lucky bastard." " You OK, lady?" " I'm fine." "It's only about another hour to the river, but you being a sheila it'll probably take two." " Well, I'll just do the best I can." " Yeah." "The water was running twenty foot up the bank during the wet season." "Here's what's left of me boat." "You can see where he sunk his teeth in." " How big was it?" " Oh, sixteen, eighteen foot, maybe." "And you were out here hunting crocodiles in that?" "Nah, that's illegal." "I was just fishing." " How did you get away?" " Crocs don't like fresh meat." "He wasn't trying to eat me." "He wanted to take me down for a death roll." "See, a croc will grab you and take you down to the bottom of the water and roll you over and over till you stop kicking." "Then he'll take you away to his meat safe, a rock ledge or log down under the water and jam you under it, tenderise you a bit, good eating." "He wasn't happy with his grip on me, so he let go to get a better one." " I talked him out of it." " Talked?" "And you were just out here fishing?" "Well, barramundi is a bloody big fish." "It'll be getting dark soon." "I'll take you to where I camped the first night." " You married?" " Was once... to the original rebel." " What happened?" " You name it, we marched." "Anti-nuke, Women's Lib, Save the Whales..." "He's probably marching right now for the gay Nazis." " Sounds like a prize ratbag." " He meant well." "Haven't you ever protested anything?" "Sure, every time I get thrown out of the pub." "I'm serious." "Where would you stand on, say, the nuclear debate?" " What about the arms race?" " None of my business." "None of your business?" "How can you say that?" "It's everybody's business." "Got to have an opinion, got to have a voice." "Who's gonna hear it out here?" "OK, something closer to home." "The Aborigines, what about their claims to get the land back?" "Well, you see, Aborigines don't own the land." "They belong to it." "It's like their mother." "See those rocks sticking up there." "Been standing there for 600 million years." "Still be there when you and I are gone." "So arguing over who owns them is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog they live on." "You see, Aborigines, like all God's creatures, they just want the right to roam across the Earth and be left in peace." "It's that..." " Oh, it's a King Brown." " Poisonous?" "Oh, yeah, deadly." "Not bad eating, but they always give me gas." "Listen, are there any more of those around?" "Maybe the odd one late at night, but stick close to me, you'll be all right." "You're probably right, a man should have an opinion..." " Sh!" " What?" "Thought I heard something." "No, it's nothing." "Goodnight." "(VARIOUS ANIMAL AND BIRD SOUNDS)" "(GUNSHOT)" "Mick?" "(GUNSHOTS)" "It's only me." "Dangerous bastards." "It's those city cowboys." " What are you gonna do?" " Nothing, why?" "Why?" "They're shooting these poor kangaroos for fun!" "Well, there's no law against that." "Keep your head down." "Stay here." "I need a piss!" " I need a piss!" " And a straighter rifle." "You're as useless as tits on a bull, Duffy!" "Shut up, you guys!" "Hey, Trevor!" "Get the spotlight over here, man!" " The spotlight!" " Can't you see where you're aiming?" "Shut up!" "Not on me, you silly bugger, on the bushes!" "Look at this big cheeky bugger." "Hey!" "It's got a gun!" "Shit!" "Good one, Skippy." "Despite the rugged beauty of this land, there's a sort of strange emptiness about it." "A feeling of being so alone." "Yeah, but you're not alone." "I'm here, aren't I?" "Yeah, but I think I know how you must have felt." "Or, how I'd feel if I were out here alone." "You?" "Out here alone?" "That's a joke." "A city girl like you." "You wouldn't last five minutes, love." "This is a man's country out here." "That's right, I'm only a sheila." "We're heading for that escarpment today, right?" " Yeah." " OK, see you there this afternoon." "Hey!" "If you're gonna go, take the gun with you." "If you get into trouble, fire a couple of shots in the air." "That's the dangerous end." "So it is." "It's all right, it's over." "I got you, I got you." "Is it dead?" "If it isn't, I'll have a job skinning the bastard." "You were right." "Definitely no place for a city girl." "From what Wal's told me, living in the city can be just as dangerous." " Haven't you ever lived in a city?" " Never been to a city." " You're kidding?" " No." "Cities are crowded, right?" "If I went and lived in a city, I'd only make it worse." "Here, try this." " Do you want me to have a look?" " It's just a scratch." "A scratch can turn septic out here." "Give us a look." "No, it's all right." "Sh." "Now what?" "Oh, Christ!" "It's like living with Davy Crockett." "Mick?" "Mick?" "Oh, Mick!" "You frightened shit out of me!" "So I ought to." "Sneaking up on a man when he's rendering first aid to a lady!" "Is that what you were doing?" "It's all right, it's a mate of mine, Neville Bell." "Sue Charlton." "G'day, Sue." "What are you doing wandering around the scrub?" "I'm on my way to a corroboree at the Jabba." "A bloody drag." "But still, my dad'll get angry if I don't show up." "Nev's a real city boy, but his dad's a tribal elder." "Oh, no, you can't take my photograph." "I'm sorry, you believe it'll take your spirit away?" "No, you got a lens cap on!" "Crikey!" "Mick, I'd better get going." " Nice to meet you, Sue." " Bye, Nev." " I'll catch up with you, Nev." " What's happening?" "I'd better go with Nev and see the Pintinjarra." "Can I come?" "No way." "Women are strictly taboo at these turnouts." "How does he find his way in the dark?" "He thinks his way." "A lot of people believe that they're telepathic." "(CRASH) Oh, I hate the bush!" "(MUSIC AND SINGING)" "How did you know?" "Are you telepathic?" "Nah." "Common sense." "You're a woman, a reporter, that makes you the biggest busybody in the world." "I can live with that." "That croc was gonna eat me alive." "I wouldn't hold that against him." "Same thought crossed my mind once or twice." "Goodnight, Mick." "It took me a week to crawl this far." "I thought I was a goner." "I said to meself," ""Old son, find yourself a comfortable spot and lay down and die."" " Weren't you afraid?" " Of dying?" "Nah!" "I read the Bible once." "You know God and Jesus and all them apostles?" "They were all fishermen, just like me." "Yeah, straight to heaven for Mick Dundee." "Yep..." "Me and God, we'd be mates." "This is Echo Lake." "I reckon this place saved me life." "That's mineral water." "It means no crocs." " Plenty of tucker here." " Tucker?" " Food." "You hungry?" " Starving." "I'll get lunch." "How do you like your goanna?" "Medium?" "Well done?" " You don't expect me to eat that?" " It's great." "Try some yams." "Try the grubs and the sugar ants." "Bite the end off, they're really sweet." " Aren't you having any?" " Me?" "Oh, well, you can live on it but it tastes like shit." "Mick?" "Why don't you come back with me?" "What for?" "It would make a great wrap to the story." "You in New York City." "Oh." "For a minute I thought you were making a pass at me." "Well, I might have been." "Would you mind?" "OW!" "Bloody Wally." "He's only been here a dozen times." "He's probably lost." "Did you...?" "You got wind or something, Wal?" "I want Mick to come back to New York with me." "Mick?" "In a big city?" "No chance." "The paper would pay." "Well..." "A man should broaden his horizons." "Everything OK?" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, no worries." "Jesus Christ!" "Sue!" "Sue!" "Sue..." "G'day, mate!" "You look absolutely stunning." " Welcome home." " Thanks." "Let me get this." "Where's the man from the backwoods?" "We got separated at Customs." "He almost started a riot when they wanted to look through his suitcase." "There he is!" "So that's Jungle Jim?" "New York City, Mr Dundee." "Home to seven million people." "Incredible." "Imagine seven million people all wanting to live together." "Yeah, New York must be the friendliest place on Earth." "G'day!" "Mick Dundee from Australia." "How are you?" " I'm fine, how are you?" " Good." "I'm in town for a couple of days." "Probably see you around." "Bye." "Thank you, Gus." "You'll take care of the luggage?" "That's it." " Thanks for the lift, mate." " No problem." " What tribe are you, Gus?" " Tribe?" "Man, I ain't from no tribe." " You're a black fella, aren't you?" " Last time I looked." "No one in our tribe's got a flash car like this." "You must be doing all right." "Do you want to eat somewhere special tonight?" " I thought Tacano's would be nice." " Tacano's?" "7.30?" " Bye." " OK." "Table for three." "Sir?" "No worries." "Well, what do you think?" "It's a bit rough, but I'll manage." "Hey, how many of us are staying here?" "Just you." "I've got my own apartment downtown." "Sorry, Mick Dundee." "I didn't catch the name." " Angelo." " Pleased to meet you, Angelo." "I got it." "Here you go." " Got to pay for the room in advance?" " You're in my town now, trust me." "Can I get the direct dialling code for Australia?" "You should be comfortable." "There's a TV if you get bored." "Ah, TV." "Yeah, I saw that at Darkie Johnson's place years ago." "Yep, that's what I saw." "Right." "OK, thanks." "I'm writing down Wally's number and my office number." "Hey, Sue, come here, look at this!" "Some nitwit's put two dunnies in here." "One dunny, one bidet." "Bidday?" "It's for... after you... you know..." "You figure it out." " See you at seven." " Yeah." "(LOUD WHISTLE)" "For washing your backside, right?" "G'day." "G'day." "G'day." "G'day." " G'day." " Hello." "G'day." "I'm sorry." "G'day." "Shit!" " Take it easy, Mick." " Thanks, mate." " G'day." " Yes, sir." "Good evening." "Follow me, please." "Hello." "Sorry we're late." "Been waiting long?" "I arrived early, eager to spend time with my girl." "So, what are we drinking?" "Two vodka martinis, and what's yours, Crocodile?" "Yeah, I'll have two of those, and a beer, thanks." "Could you send them through to our table, man?" " You have been here a while." " Let's eat." "This'll be quite a novelty for you, eating something without having to kill it first." "Shall we?" "Ah, Roberto!" "Good evening, Mr Mason, I can see you've got some friends." "Follow me." "Thank you." "I had almost forgotten what a sexy-Iooking lady you are." "I'm gonna have to find a way of keeping you in town." " You two should really be alone." " Sorry, it's been six weeks." " That's all the more reason..." " It's your first night in New York." " Richard and I want you with us." " Right, absolutely." "New York is no place for a... country gent." "Ain't no crocodiles out there, but a fast movin' Chevy sure make a mess of you." "What's your game?" "Great." "I'm starving." "Grazie, Roberto." "È stato piacere un rivederti." "Bravissimo, lei parla molto bene Italiano." "Thank you." "Perhaps I should order for all of us, all right?" "I don't imagine that they have any..." "kangaroo steak or possum grits!" "Don't worry, Mick can make a gourmet meal out of anything." "Even medium rare goanna." "It was great, wasn't it?" "And what about the yams?" "They were great." "Well, that's..." "That's wonderful." "So, as he's our guest, perhaps he'd like to order for all of us." "Wait a minute, I'll do that." "No, it's all right." "I'll have a lash." " Italian, eh?" " Yes." "I dunno what you call it, but I like the look of what that fat sheila's eating." "Richard!" "He OK?" "Can't handle his drink, poor fella." "He said you hit him." "You're not in the pub in Walkabout Creek now." " He was being a pain." " That's beside the point." " You're not serious about this lemon?" " Butt out, Dundee!" "He had too much to drink." "Richard is warm, caring and I love him." "Excuse me." "I think I'm gonna throw up." "God!" " You want a hand?" " No, I can handle it." "I'm fine." "We've got a busy day tomorrow, so get some sleep." "I'll pick you up early." " Goodnight." " Night." " Take me to the boozer." " Boozer?" "Don't know that one." "Pub, somewhere to get a drink." "Want to join me?" " I just finished my shift, why not?" " Fancy a drink, do you?" "You kiddin'?" "I'm Italian, I'd drink you under the table any day." "That could be interesting." "I'm not putting down your black widow spider." "But the funnel web spider can kill in eight seconds, just by looking at you." "But the real danger down there is the sharks, the big ones, like 'Jaws'." "I caught one 3 weeks ago, opened it, you know what we found inside it?" "Three Filipino fishermen..." "still in their boat!" "Buzzy!" "Come on over, meet this guy from Australia!" "Hey, my man, what's happening?" " Where?" " What's going down, bro?" "Going down?" "Just blowing the froth off a couple." "All right!" "Hang loose, my man!" " Flat out like a lizard drinking." " Say what?" "What?" " He's cool!" " Yeah." "I'm cool." "I'm cool." " All right!" " All right!" "He's a nice fella." "Here's my little Italian mate Danny!" "Just in time to buy another round." "What are you drinking, Gwendoline?" "No more for me, thanks, Mick, I must be getting on home." "Where's home, sweetie?" "Just around the corner." "I have a little place where I live all by my lonesome." " Not now." " Most of the time, that is." "Must get a bit lonely?" " Hanker for a bit of male company?" " Do I ever." "Excuse me, Gwendoline." "Don't go away, love." "I've been trying to tell you all night, that girl... she's a guy!" "A man dressed up as a girl!" " Nah, nah..." " A fag, for Chrissakes!" "I swear." "Hey!" "That was a guy!" "A guy dressed up like a sheila!" "Look at that!" "Hey, you all knew, you pack of bastards." " Where the hell did I leave the cab?" " Dunno." "You wait here till I go look for it, Mick." "G'day, girls." "Mick Dundee from Australia." " Lookin' for a good time, honey?" " Always lookin' for a good time." "Either of you ladies attached or married or anything?" "No, we're both single ladies." "This is Karla, I'm Simone." "Where you from, honey?" "From Walkabout Creek in the Northern Territory." "You probably don't know where that is." "Hey!" "I do." "You're the guy I've been reading about in the paper." "The crocodile man, I've been reading about him." "He's like a regular Tarzan..." "wrestles crocodiles, eats snakes..." "Is this your first trip to New York?" " First trip anywhere." " Well, hell!" "We might just have to give you one for free." "Yeah..." "One what?" "We could take in a movie or go to a dance or..." "Hey, girls, girls!" "Are we working tonight or are we socialising?" "Hey, pal!" "I was just talking to the ladies, and making a bit of progress." "Are you gonna talk all night or are you gonna screw one of them?" "Sorry, but if you stand around out the front of a place like this, you're gonna hear that kind of bad language." "Nice chatting to you, ladies." "Danny, you're in no condition to drive." "Hop in, mate!" "That's why you have so many accidents here." "The steering wheel's on the wrong side of the car!" "(TAXI SCREECHES OFF)" "Get out of the way, dopey!" "Get on the right side of the road, you pelican!" "# If I give my heart to you" "# Then I'll have none And you'll have two #" "(MICK WHISTLES CHEERFULLY)" "Señor Mick?" "The towels for señor Mick." "Is that you, Rosita?" "Leave the spare towels on the bed." "Mucho gracias, love!" "Si, señor Mick." "Strewth!" "Listen, Rosita..." "I was only being friendly." "You know, I didn't mean..." "Your towels, señor Mick." "For a minute there, room service took on a whole new meaning." "One dog, please." "With chilli, onions, sauerkraut and some peppers." " There you go." " You eat that?" "Well, you know, you can live on it." "But it tastes like shit!" "My bag!" "Thief!" "Thief!" "(APPLAUSE)" "# I can't believe you're alone in here" "# Let me warm your hands against the cold" "# A close encounter with a hard-hearted man" "# Who never gave half of what he got" "# Has made you wish that you had never been born" "# That's a shame 'cause you've got a lot" "# Fate left you with a sad face" "# Come up to my place and give it up... #" "Hey, Mick!" "How you doin', baby?" " It's me, Simone!" " Oh, yeah, Simone..." " Having a good time?" " As always." "Nice girl." "Thoughtful, too, dancing with her father." "We're gonna have to overcome this country boy shyness, Dundee." "There's someone I want you to meet." "(DEEP VOICE) Sue, darling, you're back, how wonderful!" " Fran, how are you?" " Couldn't be better." "Tell me, who's the new man?" "This is the man I'm writing about, Mick Dundee." "Something the matter, darling?" "Pleased to meet you." " It's OK, he's Australian." " Maybe I'd better go there some day." "Darling, I'm so glad you could come!" "Excuse me." "Just making sure." "Right." "I'll get us a drink." "(MUSIC CONTINUES)" "It's good shit." " What's up, pal?" "Got a blocked nose?" " Blocked nose, right." " There's a better way of doing it." " Better way?" "Yep." "It's the way we do it back home." "It really fixes us up." "Now, boiling water..." "Get the steam going..." "Get your face right over that." "The old tea towel over your skull..." "Put your head down onto that." "Breathe it in real deep." "Ten minutes of that, you'll be clear as a bell, no worries." "Get into it." "Get into it!" "You know, that was probably a couple of hundred dollars worth of cocaine." " What's that?" " It's a drug." "You sniff it." " What for?" " Well, to get a buzz." "What, like shoving' a blowfly up your nose?" "(WALT) Got the photo, Mick!" "I look great!" "Ida sends love." "Wait a minute, Donk wants to have a word with you." "Mick!" "Get stuffed!" "How are you getting on with the New Yorkers?" "Bonzer people." "Friendly, full of beans, but a bit weird." "That's the joys of travelling." "When are you coming home?" "If you can manage, I'd like to stay a while." "Oh, yeah!" "No troubles at all." "Wouldn't have anything to do with a certain lady writer, would it?" "To start with, she's a better kisser than Donk." "You little beauty!" "Keep in touch." "No worries, Wal!" "Come on, what did he say?" "He wants to stay there a while longer, wants me to take care of things here." " You got a light, buddy?" " Yeah, sure, kid." "There you go." "And your wallet!" "Mick, give him your wallet." " What for?" " He's got a knife." "That's not a knife." "That's a knife." "Shit!" "Just kids having fun." "Are you all right?" "I'm always all right when I'm with you, Dundee." "God, that sounds corny!" "Why do you always make me feel like Jane in the Tarzan comic?" "That's what we ran while you were Down Under." "Sorry, I can't seem to get my mind in gear." "Sue..." "When you were away, I did some thinking." "It's time I made some concrete plans." "Are you building a freeway or proposing to the finest catch in New York State?" "Hello, young lady." "Been reading your articles." "Seems you've been all over the world enjoying yourself at our expense." "I'd like to think you're getting your money's worth." "Hi, Dad." "You got a kiss for the old man?" "Thank God you're home safe." " Have you told Sue about Sunday?" " I was just about to." "You're coming to the weekend house for a welcome home dinner." "But now I want Richard to explain how he runs this paper better than I do." "By all means bring along this Crocodile Dundee." "Him I've got to meet." "(MICK) Thought you said your dad sells newspapers." "(RICHARD) He sells a LOT of newspapers." "Thank you, Gus." "Oh, hell, the dogs are out." "Mick?" "(BARKING)" "(SNARLING)" "(SNARLING RESUMES)" "Nice to see you again, Miss." "Mr Mason." "Nice to see you looking so fit and well." "Simpson, Mr Dundee." "Nice to meet you, Simo." " Call me Mick." " Mick!" "Your father's expecting you." "He's waiting in the lounge." "Excuse me." " Hi, pumpkin." " Hi, Dad." " Richard!" " Sam, good to see you." "And this, of course, is Mr Dundee." "I believe I am deeply in your debt for saving my daughter's life." "Buy me a cold beer and we'll call it quits." " Nice joint you got here." " It keeps the rain off our heads." "Come, I want you to meet some people." "A drink for Mr Dundee." " My Dawn." " How are you?" "Dorothy and Wendell Wainwright." "From Australia." " Nice to meet you, Wendell." " Mike, have a drink." "Are you involved in cattle, Mr Dundee?" " Yeah, mostly buffaloes." " Do you breed them?" " No, I just toss 'em." " And how are you finding New York?" "A bit of a lunatic asylum, eh?" "That's why I love it, 'cause I fit right in." "If you'll excuse me, I'd like Mick to say hello to Senator Manly." " It was nice meeting you." " See you later." " Seems like a personable fellow." " What a strange..." "Nice people." "Dorothy's fine now, but she used to be really uptight." " What happened?" " She found a wonderful shrink." "Psychiatrist." "I shouldn't have made that crack about the lunatic asylum." " I didn't know she was nuts." " Of course she's not nuts!" "People go to a psychiatrist to talk about their problems." "She just needed to unload them." "Bring them out in the open." "Hasn't she got any mates?" "You're right." "Guess we could all use more mates." "Suppose you don't have any shrinks at Walkabout Creek?" "Back there, if you've got a problem, you tell Wally." "He tells everyone in town, brings it out in the open, no more problem." " I didn't think you could make it!" " Wendell, wonderful to see you." " I don't believe I know your daughter." " Oh, stop it!" "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Friends!" "Welcome home, Sue!" "(APPLAUSE)" "As you can see, we're all glad to have you back." "Of course, no one more than I." "I guess everyone in this room knows how this beautiful lady and I feel about each other." "Sue's come back to us." "Delivered literally out of the jaws of death by our new-found friend, Mr Michael J. Dundee." "A man to whom I am doubly indebted." "Not only did he bring back to me the woman that I love, but he increased the paper's circulation in the process!" "Sam said to me earlier, "You're her editor!" ""Can't you stop her from taking these dangerous assignments?"" "Obviously I have not had much success influencing her as her editor." "Perhaps I'll have more success as her husband." " If she'll have me." " Oh, Richard!" " Congratulations." " Couldn't be happier, Senator." " Well done." " Thank you very much." "I'll get in the back, Gus." "To the hotel, Mick?" "Yeah, by way of a liquor store." "For medicinal purposes." "Thanks, mate." "(GUS) Hey!" "Take care now!" "Hey, buddy!" " Get it into you, Pop." " God bless you." "You saved my life." "Hey, Simone!" " You want some action?" " Thought you were somebody else." "Well, if it ain't the man who don't like bad fuckin' language in front of ladies." "What's the matter, Aussie boy?" "You gonna hop away like a kangaroo?" "I think it's time for a little tap dancing." "You OK, Mick?" "Oh, yeah, Gus, no worries." "I was just getting on top of them." "You sure you're not Pintinjarra tribe?" "No, man, Harlem Warlords!" "I knew you were tribal." "Mick Dundee's room, please." "(TV DROWNS SOUND OF PHONE RINGING)" "Sorry, he's still not answering." "He called down to say he was checking out today." " We're gonna miss him around here." " Thanks." "Thank you, sir." "G'day, Irving, how are you?" " I wouldn't be dead for dollars." " Close." "Are you leaving us, Mick?" "You going back home?" "No, I thought I'd go Walkabout." "Wander around and take a look at America." " For how long?" " Long as it takes." " What's the quickest way out of town?" " There's a subway two blocks that way." " It'll take you to Grand Central Station." " That'll do." " Have a nice day, Oiving." " No worries, mate." "Morning, Miss." "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" "No, but it'll come to me." "If you're looking for Crocodile Mick, he's gone Walkabout." " You don't know where?" " He's headed for the subway." "You'd better hurry." "Mind this for me." "Oh, Christ!" "Hey, lady, where you goin'?" "If you want to play, why don't you play with me?" "Mick!" "Mick Dundee!" "OOWEE!" "What's up, lady?" "I got to talk to that man down there in the black hat." "Hey!" "The lady here wants to talk to the guy in the black hat!" "Hey, fella!" "You in the hat!" "The lady down the end wants to see you!" "What does she want?" " What does she want?" " What do you want?" "Tell him not to leave." "I'm not gonna marry Richard." "Tell him, don't leave." "She's not gonna marry Richard!" "Don't leave." "I'm not gonna marry Richard." " Why not?" " I don't know." "Why not?" "Why not?" "Tell him I love him." "I love YOU!" "I love you!" "I love you!" "I love..." " She loves me." " Well?" "Tell her I..." "I'll tell her myself, I'm coming through!" " He's coming through!" " He's coming through!" "It's too crowded here, we're jammed in like sheep." "Up, up, up..."