"(dramatic music)" "[Voiceover] I had never heard of the opera before." "It was in the romantic vein by a relatively unknown 19th century Pole who was experiencing something of a rediscovery." "It was the American premiere and I didn't know the plot." "As soon as I sat down, I started to read the synopsis to no avail." "After a sentence or two I was hopelessly lost." "Everyone was someone's brother, son, or twin or masquerading as the brother, son, or twin." "[Voiceover] It was perfectly clear." "I understood every word of it." "[Voiceover] It seemed that everyone was in love with the same woman who was the daughter, stepsister, and long lost twin of each of the male leads." "She was masquerading as a man and was loved by the sister of the man she adored who, however, spurned her because he didn't realize she was a woman." "From the little I had read of it, I was sure it would take seven hours for this dense plot to unfold." "But I also knew that once it started, it would become clear." "I think Debbie was singing on stage." "She was the daughter, the sister, the twin, the transvestite, everything." "(opera music)" "The theater was packed." "I could feel everyone's eyes riveted on me." "[Voiceover] No one paid the slightest attention to her." "(opera music)" "[Voiceover] At the end the stage was cluttered with corpses following an orgy of poisonings, murders, suicides, and general mayhem." "She claimed that she was covering it for Life Magazine." "[Voiceover] The National Enquirer." "I can't." "I can't." "(alarm buzzing)" "Alvin, Alvin?" "[Voiceover] She expected to wake up and find herself swimming in his blood, or worse yet, in her own blood." "The smell of fresh coffee reassured her that he had not yet left for work." "200 million years ago there was only one ocean." "All the continents were grouped together in a super continent, Pangea, which was made up of two unconnected subcontinents." "The northern part Laurasia was North America," "Europe, and Asia." "The southern part Gondwanaland was South" "America, Africa, Australia, and Antarctica." "Gondwanaland, I love that name." "Yes, Gondwanaland." "The two parts were so close together that Boston was touching the coast of West Africa." "New York was on the equator." "Volcanic eruptions in the ocean floor pushed the continents apart." "That's why the coastline of South America dovetails into the coastline of Africa." "North America had the most changes to go through." "It moved 5,000 miles west northwest." "We've earned the right to be the most powerful nation on Earth." "How long did it take?" "Not long, 135 million years at the most." "65 billion years ago the continents as we know them were blocked out." "It's still going on, it never stops." "That's a scary thought." "[Brian] No, it's exciting." "It should be solid and unchanging." "Something should be." "Oh no, it's always on the move, just like us." "But there's nothing to worry about." "It happens very slowly." "I can see only this much of it." "My life, the people in it, that's my world." "If you could see the larger perspective, you'd be much happier." "In 50 million years there won't even be a Mediterranean." "(buzzing)" "Hi." "What do you want?" "I can't talk now." "I'm very busy, I'll see you later." "My wife, calls 100 times a day." "Such devotion, you weren't very friendly." "No, maybe not." "If you could take a movie of the whole world, one frame every 200 years, it would look like a bubbling mass of caramel." "And if we could see that movie, we'd realize just how trivial our own problems are." "Yes, you may be right." "I suppose everyone tells you you have beautiful legs." "They came with the shoes." "It's the shoes that do it." "Fire again." "How many dreams have I had with fire in them?" "Like Herostratus, the man who wanted to achieve immortality by burning down the Temple of Diana." "Fame through destruction, and so easy to do." "Takes much less time too than doing it the other way." "I am high on a hill, a building with a wall of mirrors behind me, a sheer precipice below me." "The building is expanding, leaving less room on the ledge for me." "The girl in the golden dress beckons towards me." "I think I'm going to faint and fall." "Frantically I try to clutch the glass surface with my fingers." "I tell her to go away and leave me alone before anyone sees." "She says the dress hurts her body." "I pretend I don't see her or hear her." "She puts on a cape made of human hair and goes into the forest by herself." "Suddenly I see a column of flame in the forest." "I know what it is." "But I make believe it's something else." "I feel like a rat." "Mention to shrink." "When will you be home?" "Seven, eight." "Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself." "Stores are open late tonight." "I'm going shopping with a friend." "Not if I don't give you the money you're not." "Nah, I was only kidding." "Who with?" "Give me a hint, is it male or female?" "Are you starting in again?" "Give me 25 bucks." "10, I only got 10." "20." "15." "20." "15." "Are you kidding, at those prices?" "Okay, I'll give you 25." "Why don't you shove it?" "Told you not to use that kind of language." "All I need is 15 anyway." "Touch it." "Give it to me." "What do you want it for?" "Why did you show it to me?" "[Voiceover] She felt that the danger which they both flirted with was finally at hand." "At this moment she wouldn't object if he threw his arms around her and smothered her in forbidden kisses and told her that he would die if he couldn't possess her." "No." "If you say one word to her." "[Voiceover] The moment had passed without his being aware that it had come at all." "He would never know how little he was able to gage her unspoken thoughts." "She was always to elude him." "His inability to act at that moment permanently loosened his control over her." "(upbeat music)" "Dear diary, today John M. Called again." "He obviously wanted to come over and screw." "I told him no dice, he's good in bed but I don't think he's sensitive." "Things like the theater, the ballet, and foreign films don't interest him at all." "Hm, me too." "Tonight at Teddy's marshmallow I met the cutest guy, what a hunk." "We didn't waste too much time talking." "No sooner had our drinks arrived when I asked him over to my place." "I think he was a little surprised and pleased when I came out with it just like that." "I want what I want and I don't hide it." "I'm nothing if not honest." "I think that's what men find most attractive about me aside from my well formed tits, which I think could be a trifle larger, although I haven't gotten any complaints yet." "We came back here and let me tell you, I wasn't mistaken, I know how to pick 'em." "No sooner do we start in when the buzzer rings." "My god, I had forgotten all about it," "I had a date with Leslie." "Mel said I should invite Leslie up." "Suddenly my mind was racing like mad." "I had never done anything like that before." "How do you like it?" "It's not for me." "[Voiceover] She was anxious to continue reading the story of this stranger." "She wanted to find out if Leslie was a man or a woman, what happened later on in the evening, and so on." "Was there anything else you'd like to see?" "I think that's it for today." "[Voiceover] When she realized that the diary was several years old, her interest cooled." "Then she wondered where the woman was now." "What was she doing, does she still see what's his name or any of the old people who filled the pages of her old diary?" "I should have left it there." "Maybe this store leaves it out as a customer service instead of magazines." "Something to do while you wait." "Can I borrow it?" "What if it's the owner's?" "I should return it." "It's like reading other people's mail." "Diaries are meant to be read, why do you think they're written?" "I might have ended up like that, like her." "Only I hate bars." "Getting married saved you from that sordid life." "Hm, sometimes I think we're strangers." "You and me?" "Well I meant me and Fred." "Fred and I." "I know, I keep my distance." "I feel we could be closer if things were..." "What?" "If I had all the things you have." "Like what?" "What do I have?" "None of it seems so wonderful to me." "That's what I mean, it's criminal not to enjoy the things you have." "It's worse to want what others have." "No, I guess the other is worse." "Tell me, Viv, what do I have that's so enviable?" "People like you." "They see me coming, they run for cover." "I suppose you're right." "What?" "Do you find Fred attractive?" "I'll tell you what's missing." "I miss, I don't know, romance." "Is that the right word?" "There's got to be another way and I'm going to find it." "[Viv] You think you gotta reinvent love?" "It doesn't change." "I don't want it squandered on dirty dishes, paychecks, laundry, TV after dinner." "I want it to have speed, movement, action." "Maybe what you need is a new Porsche." "What I need can't be bought in a store." "You think you're strong enough?" "Pioneers, you know, can't afford to be selfish." "I'm prepared to make sacrifices." "You're going to shred your charge card?" "No seriously, give me a minute to think." "Maybe I'll have a baby, I've been thinking a lot about it lately." "I hear having your feet bound is a lot of fun too." "I'm not getting any younger." "Honey, nobody's getting younger." "You don't like children, is that it?" "No." "No, I think it's a fine idea." "For you." "I hate kids." "Oh not me." "But I don't think Fred is serious enough." "He'd be fine with boys but I wouldn't trust him with girls." "Oh, I didn't mean it that way." "I'm never having children." "I know I'd be jealous of them." "Her of all people." "I wouldn't dream of telling anyone, but I would never tell her." "I'm so afraid of them and their fragile little lives." "If only it had been my child." "If I had the courage I would cry." "What do you do when you've had enough of their shitting in their diapers, vomiting on your sweaters, howling in your eardrums?" "It must give you a sense of responsibility." "I guess that's it." "They eat up your life." "Always begging for attention." "[Andrea] Hm?" "Oh, I didn't." "I had a very happy childhood, I guess that makes the difference." "See that guy?" "The postman?" "No, the tweedy looking one." "He's been staring at me ever since we came in." "If he has the nerve to come over, I'm going to give him my phone number." "Yes, you are attractive." "You think so?" "I wish I had your hair." "And you have very nice eyes." "Intelligent eyes." "Sometimes I wish I were smarter." "But when I look around I see it doesn't help." "[Voiceover] When they were children they were always called the twins, Andrew and Andrea." "But everyone called them both Andy unless they did something wrong." "It was not like being brother and sister." "It was a special tiny universe that excluded other people, as if they had been chosen for an unusual destiny." "They drifted apart as they grew older." "Different friends, different lives." "But it was a fact that could neither be ignored nor forgotten." "She tried to bind him to her with reminders of a shared past that could never be erased." "When they died we both knew it without being told, didn't we?" "Remember we called each other at the same time?" "I dialed the phone and you picked it up before it rang." "You were trying to call me." "You pretend it's more than biology." "Then we both called home and it was true." "There's something stronger between us, you won't admit it." "I hated being treated as though I were part of a vaudeville team." "It was a relief to go away to college." "I could breathe at last." "When I was in that car crash, you knew." "You were in pain too." "Haven't you got anything better to do?" "You knew without being told." "That's the way twins are." "Only identical twins." "Forget the past." "When's the estate going to be settled?" "Selfish heart of stone." "Here come the violins." "In a minute you'll be in tears, I'm leaving." "Why do you let him talk to you like that?" "It's the way we talk to each other." "I'd teach him some manners." "He could use a fewmonths in boot camp." "Don't butt in, you don't understand." "It's something we do." "It's the only way he can show his love." "You're very generous when it comes to him." "What does that mean?" "What do you think?" "Do you want to know what I think?" "Uh oh, I've got the horrible feeling you're going to tell me." "No don't say it, I know already." "I even know that you know." "I know that you know that I know." "I think you have something on your mind and it's not me, that's for sure." "I want something." "I don't know." "No I want something else." "But I don't know what it is." "Be sure to let me know when you find out." "You bet." "You'll be the first, you can count on it." "Do you want to know what I think?" "Do you really want to know what I think?" "I think we don't make love as much as we used to." "No, that's not it." "I can't even remember why I wanted to marry you, you know what I mean?" "Between the two of them, Scylla and Charybdis, do I ever have a moment's peace?" "I'm trying to hold things together in the only way I know but the old methods don't work anymore." "I've become a martyr on the altar of outmoded sentiments." "No." "I need a new lover." "That'll do the trick." "[Voiceover] Lil would have liked to be Debbie's mother but Debbie wouldn't permit it." "When she tried to act like a friend, Alvin warned her that her solicitude should find other outlets." "She settled for playing fellow sufferers, cohorts in the harem." "Even Alvin accepted that." "It had its limitations, but it was less complicated." "Do you like it, it's a French recipe." "Fresh tarragon, leeks, chicken stock, mushrooms." "It's not bad." "I like Campbell's soup better." "[Voiceover] The tensions of family life force them to disguise their true thoughts." "Despite the air of feign gayety, grievances smoldered beneath the surface." "What's the matter?" "Don't you like the French soup?" "(laughs)" "But what really gives it its flavor is the rat's piss." "(laughs)" "[Voiceover] She was grateful that they had acknowledged her triumph." "She was temporarily back on the A team." "[Lil] they dealt me only five cards." "When I complained, they all said I was very lucky and should shut up because my cards were much bigger than anyone else's." "Without even looking at them, I knew they were all souvenirs from my recent trip to Europe." "Although I hadn't been to Europe in 18 years." "The first was a bell tower, high enough to throw yourself off or be pushed from." "The second was a door." "I can just imagine who was waiting behind it." "A window with a balcony." "The window was closed, thank God." "Then a theater box, heavy with drapery and guilding." "Someone had been murdered there." "The fifth was a staircase." "(dramatic music)" "I had never been to any of these places, I protested." "All the others began laughing, oh sure, sure, you always say that." "[Voiceover] Oh sure, sure, you always say that." "Come on, make your move." "[Voiceover] Come on, make your move." "[Lil] I won without having to show my hand." "I had five of a kind." "I won." "I won." "They let me win." "You awake?" "Too tired?" "I didn't take her to the motel, she took me." "Your daughter's a tramp, mister." "If that ain't plain enough, I can..." "[Voiceover] Get him out of here." "Thanks a lot." "I've been watching a lot of TV." "I'll be better in a day or two." "You angry, you're not saying anything." "I'm watching TV, I'm not angry." "What are you watching?" "I don't know, I tuned it in the middle." "I don't have the papers." "It's with what's her name, you would know the one I mean, she used to..." "Oh look, now she's dancing." "Oh, I know that movie." "That's the one where she does the mambo by herself." "* You came, I was alone" "* You were temptation for me." "And she's wearing that tight black dress, right?" "That was in the other scene, a big party." "She just took it off." "She's wearing a what do you call it, a peignoir." "That's the one where her brother's a drunk." "And she's the town tramp and her brother's wife is in love with his best friend." "I didn't see it from the beginning." "Now her father's coming up the stairs." "Oh look, he's having a..." "He's falling down the stairs, what's the matter?" "Why is he?" "He's having a heart attack 'cause his daughter's such a slut." "Oh, I see, are you watching the movie too?" "No, I'm talking on the phone with you." "It's just like our family but it's the other way around." "Very funny." "[Voiceover] I'm going to have a baby." "Why do you always have to start up?" "Why don't you just relax and watch the movie?" "Do you want to watch the movie?" "I can call you some other time." "No, no, it's okay, I can watch it and talk at the same time." "Uh oh, now he's beating her up because he thinks she's having his best friend's baby, but she's not." "They never even touched each other." "It's the husband's baby but he didn't think he could have children because he has a low sperm count." "But he's better now." "Uh oh, I bet she's going to lose the baby and it's his fault." "I know." "Later the two men argue and the drunk pulls a gun on Rock Hudson." "They struggle over it and then Dorothy Malone..." "That's her name, I knew you'd know." "Joins in and tries to take the gun away from her brother, the gun goes off, he gets killed." "So of course she knows that Rock Hudson didn't do it." "What are you eating?" "Apple." "Rock Hudson didn't do what?" "Well she tries to blackmail him anyway." "She says if he doesn't marry her she'll swear on the witness stand that he killed him." "But if he marries her, a wife can't testify against him." "Did you call for any special reason?" "Viv told me you were sick." "I just wanted to find out how you are." "I'm fine." "I mean, I'm sick but I'm fine." "You need anything?" "Fred's been a dear." "He gives me everything I need." "He treats me like an invalid." "Would you rather watch the movie?" "Do you want me to turn it off?" "No, I'll call you later." "You sound pissed off." "Why should I be pissed off?" "How should I know, you're always pissed off." "[Voiceover] You've had a miscarriage." "(dramatic music)" "He did this with his hands and this with his feet." "Nobody knows what the steps are." "Now here, here's where the nymphs leave the stage." "Now he sees the veil they left behind." "Pretend your shirt's the veil." "He picks it up and he looks at it." "Then he goes for the tree." "He lies down on it like this." "What do you mean?" "You mean he whacked off on stage?" "It was a big scandal." "They had to change it for the second performance." "Imagine a foreigner having sex on stage." "Do you like it?" "Sure I like it, I like the part where he, you know." "But what do I know about dancing?" "I don't know anything about dance." "That's just it, nobody knows." "It's a lost dance." "Nijinsky was the only one to ever dance and the movements were never written down." "All that's left is descriptions by people who saw it and they're all dead." "Why do you want to figure out a dance that no one knows anything about?" "Doesn't make any sense." "Well this does." "You're always interested in dead people." "If you want to know what I think, I think it's morbid." "Fact, another ice age is coming." "Get ready for the glacier." "All the interglacial periods when the weather in the temperate zones is mild like it is now last for only 10,000 years." "Our time is almost up." "No kidding." "Yes, the winters are getting colder and longer, every year a little longer until every day is winter." "Remind me to get another pair of earmuffs." "Once the ice starts moving, it'll come down as far south as Long Island and Cincinnati." "Great, then we can pack up and move to Florida." "I always knew Cincinnati sucked." "Change of pace." "* Get up and boogie" "I don't want to dance." "I said I don't want to dance." "Cut it out." "I hate it when you act like a, like a faggot." "At least I know who I am." "Who the fuck do you think you are, sweetheart?" "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "Okay, who is it?" "Huh?" "Anyone I know?" "You've been avoiding me, you can't even look me in the eye." "It's none of my business, you can fuck anyone you want to." "I'm not seeing anyone." "I just don't want any trash up here, is that clear?" "Make sure you go to his place." "Her place." "* Get up and boogie." "Yes, I know she likes me." "Why shouldn't she find me attractive?" "There's nothing wrong with me." "So what if she's married and has a teenage daughter?" "Stranger things have happened." "The age thing doesn't bother me." "I like older women." "But I'm a little afraid of her." "She wants too much, she's too intense." "She's the kind of woman who will devour you whole and spit out the bones." "I think I'll be a little more distant from now on." "Yes, that's it." "Keep her guessing." "Everyone was invited to the class reunion." "The invitation said to wear something attractive and revealing, preferably see through." "As I walked in the door, I suddenly realized that" "I was fully clothed." "Everyone there was much younger than I, even though at the time we went to school we were all the same age." "I was surprised that they were there, because I didn't remember them being in any of my classes." "We had to meet in a museum where no men were allowed but no women either." "When my turn came to tell the story of the picture," "I couldn't think of a thing to say." "The jury applauded anyway and gave me an A-." "Lil sucked." "Afterwards we had to check each other for breast cancer." "(ripping)" "Hey." "I could have turned you in." "Hey, take your hands off me or I'm going to call the cops." "What for, with that book in your pocket?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "The book." "Listen, I don't care, I steal stuff myself." "I didn't steal a thing." "I think you're trying to molest me." "I'm going to call the cops." "Hey officer, officer!" "What do you want?" "I saw you in the rearview mirror in the store." "You should be more careful." "Not everybody's as nice as me." "Yeah." "If you don't let go I'm gonna kick you in the balls." "Okay, okay, you win." "What do you want from me?" "What's the book?" "Tell me if you're doing a survey." "We're doing an in depth analysis of the reading patterns of shoplifters." "A glittering saga of the lives, loves and passions of a prominent family in Victorian England." "A panoramic picture of Imperialist splendor that roams as far and as wide as the British empire." "And the sultry outposts of darkest Africa to the castles and bawdy houses of 19th century England." "Drenched in local color and exotic atmosphere." "I didn't think you kids had time for this kind of thing." "What?" "I thought you were all too busy shooting up, having abortions, snorting coke to be reading books with a lot of local color." "Took the wrong book, I don't want this book." "Which book did you want?" "What were you doing in the store?" "Why aren't you at work?" "What do you do?" "Oh, a little of this, little of that." "I'm sworn to secrecy." "I get it, you're with the CIA." "The KGB." "You're under arrest." "Lucky for me I don't have fingerprints." "Those weird smears would give you away." "What was it?" "Did it turn you on watching me?" "Thought maybe you'd like to try a little hanky panky?" "Where did you learn words like that?" "From my elders." "Didn't they tell you people don't talk like that anymore?" "What are you, let me guess, 12, 13?" "Here, take it." "I bet the book isn't as corny as you are." "Thanks, maybe I'll learn something about how to meet strangers." "Which way are you going, I'll walk you." "I'm 19." "[Alvin] It happens at least once a year with a patient of mine." "We agree to meet, we drive to a motel, we fuck, it's all over with." "Painless." "Like drilling with novocaine." "But no more pleasant than that either." "There's no way of recapturing that erotic charge that we both feel when she is the helpless patient trapped in the chair, her mouth wide open and stuffed with cotton padding." "And me fondling her jaw, her chin, her gums." "Poking my fingers into her most private places." "And that look of fear and supplication in their eyes when I pick up the sharp instruments." "Their relieved melting looks of gratitude when it is not as painful as they expected." "And my smile, calm, reassuring, paternal." "But something more." "Wise and yet seductive." "The patient doctor transference is complete." "We never recapture this initial excitement in the motel room." "None of them has ever come back to me again, not even for a cleaning." "Next time I bring my picks and scrapers with me." "[Voiceover] Now let's see what this detail is doing in here." "What are you doing?" "(laughter)" "[Voiceover] Oh no, dear, it's chop, I'm tenderizing it." "[Voiceover] Oh, well that's all right then." "Are you hungry?" "No, I ate before." "I'm hungry." "I didn't eat today." "Why didn't you eat at the restaurant?" "I forgot I was so busy." "There's nothing in the refrigerator." "[Voiceover] Threw himself on a live Italian." "Do you want to go out later?" "No, I'm too tired." "I'm hungry." "(laughter)" "[Voiceover] Italian grenade." "What are you two doing here?" "Don't buy that crap again." "What crap do you mean, sweetheart?" "[Voiceover] A little spying here too." "Those frozen gourmet dinners." "You said you wanted it when you saw it advertised." "I went out and got them for you." "[Voiceover] I don't want you to get the wrong ideas." "Well I'm sick of it now." "It all tastes like airplane food." "I like airplane food." "[Voiceover] Now remember that then forget it." "Why don't you use that microwave oven I got you?" "It cost a fortune." "And get cancer?" "Thanks." "There's a freezer full of them." "[Voiceover] Listen, I'm giving up part of my bed upstairs, right Edith?" "[Voiceover] That's right, your father's going to sleep on the sofa." "Just think, Archie, this'll be the first time in 24 years we ain't slept together." "[Voiceover] Well that's the sacrifice you gotta make." "(laughter)" "It's about time." "Where the hell have you been?" "I want you to answer me when I talk to you." "Out." "I want you to look at me when you answer me." "Yes, master." "Don't get smart." "Is that better, dad?" "Don't get wise with me." "Leave her alone." "In a minute you'll be yelling." "I'm not yelling." "You were supposed to be home for dinner." "I ate already." "I want to know where you've been and why you didn't call." "Out with friends from school." "Lower your voices, neighbors." "(laughter)" " [Alvin] Will you shut up?" " [Debbie] Not the neighbors." "As for you, young lady, you better..." "Only beats up women and children." "What are you doing, I want to watch it." "She doesn't want to miss a word of it." "Don't talk to me that way, I'm not your mother." "Remind me how lucky I am." "Listen to the way she talks to me." "Don't think I don't know what's on your mind." "Since you're dying to know," "I've been out with the football team." "I've never done so much fucking and sucking." "It was great." "Talk like that." "Don't you dare touch her." "You hit her and I'm leaving." "When I'm through with her I'm gonna take care of you." "It'll be the last thing you ever do." "Shut up, both of you!" "You're both nuts." "The older I get, the crazier you get." "All grown ups should be put away." "(laughter)" "[Voiceover] Why are you afraid, Lil?" "What are you afraid of?" "Do I act as if I'm frightened?" "I'm not at all." "Childbirth." "No, never again." "I'll never have grandchildren." "They're all growing up or aging." "Whichever comes first and then the other." "Wrinkles in the mirror." "I fear that I'll never stop being afraid." "My child, my child." "Fire." "Fear of illnesses, doctors, hospitals." "Rare diseases, psychological symptoms that I don't even know about, thank God, because if I did I'd be sure that I had them." "Fear of a dozen kinds of cancer that I know have to do with the kind of life I live." "We live." "On the other hand, I should count my blessings." "My children will never abandon me." "I'll never have to take care of my aged mother when she gets that way." "She died so long ago." "The fear that I'll be like her, since I hardly knew her and yet fear somehow because of it I'm not the right kind of woman, that something is missing." "No fears of destroying my child." "I've done that already." "Fears of destroying myself." "No, not really." "I just say that." "And of course you, Debbie, especially you, especially Debbie both of you." "And you, what are you afraid of?" "I don't know." "Same things." "More or less." "[Lil] And the others." "What do you think they're afraid of?" "(toilet flushes)" "The toilet's broke." "I'm not the janitor." "You didn't do it, did you?" "No." "Then it's okay." "Listen." "Shit." "(moaning)" "What is it?" "Father and his mistress, his girlfriend." "What a bitch." "You want to hear us, it's much clearer." "I'd rather hear it live and in concert." "Debbie, what the hell are you?" "Janet." "Well hello, Janet." "The way you two carry on like a couple of school kids." "You know you ought to make it together." "Get it out of your systems." "If I told you we did, you'd have a stroke, wouldn't you?" "I wouldn't believe you." "Well if I said we do?" "No." "Why not, how would you know?" "You'd say anything to upset me." "This is the 20th century, you're lying." "What if I told you something I'd never told anyone before, that all my life I'd been waiting for her to be this age?" "Why do you think I wanted Rita out of the way?" "I spent my whole life raising her, growing her up so that she'd be perfect for me." "I've got the perfect girl every man dreams of, molded by me to fit my needs, to think the way" "I want her to think, to want what I want her to want." "You're medieval, you're disgusting, that's what you are." "For years I've been dreaming of the day she'd be this age, the perfect age for me." "And even if she were the ugliest girl in the world, which she's not, I'd still want her." "Because she's mine in every way possible." "You drove Rita crazy." "She had to kill herself just to get away from you." "Yes." "I drove her to it." "Did you ever see the one where the husband turns the lights down, up and down, footsteps on the ceiling, up and down, drives the wife bananas." "Well I'm like that, that's me." "Well you won't drive me crazy." "We'll see about that." "Stop frightening her." "She's scared, leave her alone." "Be nice to her." "Take her in your arms and tell her you love her." "The things you never gave anyone, you stingy bastard." "Prove to her that all these years with you haven't been a waste, make her happy." "Doesn't she deserve it?" "Tell her the rest is just a bad joke." "(romantic music)" "At least grab her tits, fondle her ass, tell her that her aging flesh drives you wild with desire." "Screw her, let her fend for herself." "Where do I fit into all this?" "Fit, what do you mean?" "Maybe I just made it all up to put you in your place." "Which is where, here, with you and her?" "What am I, the chaperone?" "Cover?" "She likes me." "Oh no, you're right." "Not likes me, tolerates me." "It's not much but it's a beginning." "You know, you make me laugh." "You're all the same with that social worker bullshit wanting to change the world." "So you want to wrestle with the devil for her soul, is that it?" "I just want to live some kind of life." "Where you are we all are in a way." "I mean a happy one." "Well that's another story." "Look, Lil, I don't want you fucking around with her trying to turn her against me." "Not that you could, because she's mine." "You know, I don't need you as much as you think I do." "I never thought you did." "This is the moment." "Tell her now." "Tell her you can't live without her." "Maybe I don't love you the way you want me to, Lil." "Maybe it's not like it is in the movies." "I don't know, in some way I need you." "I know it's not everything you hoped for." "Maybe you're right." "No one should settle for half measures." "But life isn't long enough to insist on perfect relationships." "You're telling me." "What do you want from me?" "Whatever you've got to give." "Whatever I can get." "You bluebeard." "You won't get me to make a false declaration of love." "I mean it when I'm saying it and forget what it felt like a second later." "I need you." "I want you to stay with me." "I never said that much to any woman before, not even..." "Debbie?" "She's just a kid, my wife." "No wonder she killed herself." "Killed herself, she ran off with my best friend." "How do you think that makes me feel, telling a story like that, it makes me look like a schmuck." "I'll stay." "For Debbie's sake, poor thing." "You know the trouble with you, Lil?" "You have no sense of humor." "You can never tell when I'm serious or when" "I'm pulling your leg." "There was no doubt about it." "With that son of a bitch I could never tell whether I was coming or going." "[Voiceover] They never discussed it again." "There were times when Lil was sure that she had dreamed the whole thing." "Maybe invented it all to unhinge her." "Alvin's story, if it were true, no longer filled her with revulsion and began to seem like just another story." "The sad things that people do with their lives." "The cruel things they do to others." "Nor did she shed any unasked for tears over Debbie's fate or whatever it's called these days." "She told herself." "[Lil] All of us are twisted into strange shapes by the world, we're buffeted about by 1,000 unseen and unnamable pressures, society, family, economics." "We all suffer at the hands of those who are more powerful." "In some strange way she's fortunate." "It's rare to be able to point an accusing finger at one identifiable source of oppression and say, you did it to me, you bastard." "[Voiceover] Alvin had indeed done it to Debbie, the bastard." "But I dropped all thoughts of playing knight in shining armor to damsel in distress." "Besides, if there was anyone who acted as if she weren't in the least bit of trouble, it was Debbie." "If she needs saving, she sure doesn't look like she's hollering for help." "I on the other hand, I needed someone to talk to." "Just to talk, a human voice." "Hello?" "[Andrew] Hello?" "Brian?" "[Andrew] Who's calling?" "Who is this?" "A friend of his." "[Andrew] Brian, it's for you, a woman." "She wouldn't tell me her name." "I didn't feel prepared to deal with any more deceptions than I absolutely had to." "Whatever was going on, I didn't want to know about it." "And I definitely did not want to hear about mountains and valleys." "What was in a blue envelope?" "This came in the mail, they both came at the same time." "I thought you might to know your husband is having an affair with another woman." "Use this information as you see fit." "This is not a prank, a well wisher." "Yeah, I got the same one." "Only it says wife instead of husband." "His and hers." "Must be a chain letter." "Here it is." "It's probably an ad campaign for a new magazine." "(phone ringing)" "I'll get it." "He's so sick." "It's a man, for you." "He didn't even hang up when I answered." "Both these letters spell the same word wrong." "Information is spelled without an R." "Do you think it means anything?" "I think it means you should stop picking up illiterates." "The phone." "I was surprised when you called." "Didn't we always hit it off together?" "But you were such a thrill seeker I thought you'd be on to greener pastures." "Well I haven't seen you in such a long time, you're something of a novelty yourself." "How do you know I'm not involved with someone?" "Am I the jealous type?" "I'm broad minded." "My leather bra is out to the cleaners." "Not to worry." "Do I ever go anywhere unprepared?" "You caught me at a weird time then." "I'm an old fashioned girl." "You didn't mind." "I only agreed to it, I didn't like it." "What really turns you on?" "Fucking Andrea's husband?" "You sleep with all of her friends?" "She doesn't have as many friends as she should." "You sleep with all your friends' husbands?" "Got black stockings." "Just for you." "I'm not in the mood." "Come on." "It'll be fun." "I'm going to wear my mask." "Out of sight." "Oh great sacrificial priest, spare this unworthy maiden's life just this once." "Good." "You ever do this kind of stuff with Andy?" "Are you kidding, we're married." "How stupid of me." "Marriage is a special place." "You know why I let you do this?" "Because it is the perfect expression without any of the usual disguises or subterfuges of the way men have always abused and degraded women." "Your elbow, Andy." "My arm." "So this is what you do with your spare time." "Do you think this is a proper hobby for a man your age?" "There's more." "I've seen lots of nude men before." "It's nothing new for me." "You were hoping I'd be shocked, sorry to disappoint you." "Are you going to Aunt Betty's for Thanksgiving?" "She told me she invited you." "If I come I'm going to bring him." "But he's..." "So am I." "Black." "Then we'll need dark meat and sweet potatoes." "Here." "Like an idiot I came here trying to be nice." "You don't like my darkroom technique?" "Wait, there's one I want you to see." "Cute, isn't he?" "Gorgeous." "Brian." "We've met on the phone." "Why are you doing whatever it is you're trying to do to me?" "Why are you trying to humiliate me?" "You love it." "Go on, deny it." "You feel it gives you power over me." "I never know what you're talking about." "[Voiceover] Only by insulting her did he feel he could get close to her." "For her the repeated humiliation she had to endure at his hands made her feel how desperately he needed her and her love." "They could no longer pretend they didn't enjoy tormenting and being tormented by each other." "I think you need help." "That old song again?" "You are so sick." "When are you going to straighten out already?" "Such a cold fish." "You push everyone away, you make fun of everything." "And after you've done for me." "Stop playing Camille, that pathetic wounded animal tone in your voice." "If I had a gun I'd put it out of its misery." "You've grown up to be exactly like your mother." "Oh, not your mother?" "You think the world owes you a living." "You're just a parasite." "Fred always says." "And I hate Fred." "I've always hated Fred as much as he hates me." "That's not true." "He hates me more than I hate him." "You distort everything." "You and your insults." "Being crazy doesn't excuse everything." "Nijinsky had a sister who was also a dancer, Bronislava." "Not as well known, not as good, not as famous." "But pretty good." "She was famous too but not as famous." "She wasn't mediocre, but he was very great." "Do you understand what I'm saying?" "She was lucky." "She didn't go crazy." "She had more time to get her act together." "Go." "Class dismissed." "You're hopeless." "What do you want?" "What are you talking about?" "What do you want from me?" "What do you want from me?" "What do you want?" "Do you want to kiss me?" "Do you want me to kiss you?" "I'm sorry." "No." "On the lips." "You understand what you're doing?" "It's not going to snap your mind." "What about you?" "It's too late for simple solutions." "It probably won't be the least bit of fun." "As long as it's therapeutic, who cares?" "We should have done it when we were teenagers." "Like the rest of them." "[Voiceover] They fell asleep in each other's arms like children who've exhausted themselves crying." "They were both thankful for the small reward instead of the guilt, which they half hoped for, but which hadn't materialized." "Do you remember when we were children grandmother would tell us stories?" "Remember?" "I remember this one day she told me while she was braiding her hair." "It took forever to braid." "It was about a princess who had no head." "She was the most beautiful princess in the world." "Except that she had no head." "She couldn't eat or drink or laugh or see." "And she couldn't kiss." "She ruled at court with her hands." "She gestured with her pale white fingers whenever she wanted something." "And with her feet she tapped out death sentences and declarations of war." "But one day she was defeated in battle by a king who had two heads." "These two heads were very troublesome because they kept getting in each other's way all the time." "Quarreling, arguing, abusing each other, always quarreling." "So the court magician took one of the heads and put it on the head of the princess." "And they no longer quarreled with each other but were always kissing each other, especially now that she had lips." "Do you think that she made that up?" "It's from a play." "Disappointed?" "Nothing has changed, has it?" "No crash of thunder." "No lightning bolts hurled by angry gods." "[Voiceover] It was impossible for either of them to imagine calling up the other to arrange another rendezvous." "But seriously, are you going to Betty's for Thanksgiving?" "I almost feel like saying no myself because that awful Harold and his three wretched children are coming." "Brian will be home soon." "Fred will be home soon." "Give my love to Fred." "Give my love to Brian." "(dramatic music)" "[Voiceover] The price they paid for their transgression was the death of yet another fantasy." "I don't know why you had to invite them." "We could have gone out." "He's my brother, I hate it when you talk like that." "Did you have to invite his girlfriend?" "It's his birthday." "Oh, it's his birthday too?" "You didn't tell me you were triplets." "Stay away then, you won't be missed." "You owe me something." "I'm not going to be outnumbered in my own house." "I want you to invite Viv." "Those pansies, those guys, they ought to have a chance to meet some good looking girls." "It might give them some ideas." "I'm not going to risk being skewered like a shish kebab." "You weren't kidding." "You didn't used to be like this." "Frankly I don't even know why I agreed to see you." "You still blame me, I can see it in your eyes." "It was so long ago it feels like yesterday." "Why do you avoid me, I've never done you any harm." "I saw your name in the papers, you're a famous writer." "Well, not quite." "I knew it had to be you, I was very proud." "Don't you believe that?" "Yes." "I'm not that much older than you anymore, not like I was then." "Maybe we can be friends now." "Before you were more like my own child than a sister." "We're not sisters." "You hated me then, didn't you?" "[Lil] Hate, not you." "My mother then." "Is that why you never call her?" "She's very hurt." "It's just pretense, there was nothing between us." "Not that I ever disliked her." "But she could never take the place of my mother." "I resented it when she tried." "And I knew she was saving her love for her own children." "Me." "[Lil] Which is the way it should be." "But you were jealous all the same, weren't you?" "She's your mother, not mine." "And after my father died..." "He was my father too." "Yes, I felt I no longer owed her anything." "And me, what do I owe you?" "Why did you come?" "You're not still thinking about the fire?" "That's ancient history, you were just a kid." "16 is not such a kid." "Careless." "Worse than that." "[Lil] Don't tell me." "After all these years." "What do you know?" "Do you know how the fire started?" "That I ran away and forgot and then I didn't have the courage to turn back and run into the burning house to save your child?" "Do you think you could forgive me if I told you?" "And what if you did?" "Could your forgiveness help me?" "The past, let the dead bury the dead." "Sometimes the past never goes away." "Sometimes it stays in your brain like a red hot nail and never lets you forget." "You shouldn't have come." "You know what Freud says, Vivian?" "If you can't forgive yourself, you can never get well." "Now that I've broken the ice, will you call me?" "I'll have to talk about it with my analyst." "[Lil] I need a friend, don't you?" "[Voiceover] That night Lil dreamt that she was in a room filled with grandmothers." "When suddenly the door opened and Viv." "Hi, I've come to kill the baby." "All the babies are upstairs." "No, take mine, you'll like her." "You can kill her but please don't hurt her." "(dramatic music)" "[Voiceover] That night Viv had the same dream only the roles were reversed." "She dreamt that Lil wanted to kill her child." "Viv's dream, however, didn't include the photograph of the staircase." "She decided it would be a cold day in hell before she called up Lil or would agree to see her again." "I just knew the way you know those things that it wasn't going to be the kind of party" "I would invite any friend of mine to." "How's business?" "How are things at the restaurant?" "I read that Congress wants to grant statehood to Israel and the Arab nations." "That would simplify military appropriations." "But they'd all have to agree to come in as the 51st state." "Say, what do you think transcendental meditation could do for me?" "I feel a pull toward the east." "Yeah." "I didn't know or I wouldn't have been able to tell." "I wouldn't have recognized you either." "I baked a birthday cake with a design of the." "Gemini on top." "The space program?" "The twins in the zodiac." "Andrew told me you were into astronomy." "No, no, geology, the earth." "Oh, I thought the stars and the heavens." "Don't tell him." "What?" "About the cake, I want it to be a surprise." "You were working on it for such a long time." "It's lying in a drawer." "Maybe in a year or two." "But one of those characters is based on me." "If it's a success, I could become famous." "I only do journalism now." "Feature stories, interviews." "Ugh, I never read that rag anyway." "Remember what I talked to you about?" "I'm going through with it." "What?" "Sometimes I feel like I'm going to start screaming and I won't be able to stop." "Do you need any help in the kitchen?" "How do you like the city?" "Have you ever been to New York before?" "I've been living here for three years." "Ah." "I didn't think you wanted me to." "Put the blame on me." "I'm turning over a new leaf." "I want to go to law school." "That's not an evasion." "I need a refill." "Why did you take the gun, I need it back." "What gun, what are you talking about?" "I want to talk to you, I have a lot of things on my mind about us." "Which one of you is older?" "She is by 10 minutes." "Hope we can be out of here by 10:30." "I don't want to miss that special on TV." "That makes you her kid brother." "(laughs)" "Is it almost ready?" "I don't know how good it's gonna be." "Save yourself for the dessert." "Andy, the ragu is sublime." "You've got to give me the recipe." "I don't remember where I read this." "In a 19th century novel." "Everyone is jammed tight into a small carriage." "One of the men takes the opportunity to press his attentions on a woman in the only way he can with her husband present." "So she says in a very loud voice," "Sir, or probably monsieur, I think it was a French novel, monsieur, feel free to tell me that you love me if that's what's on your mind." "But please take your feet off my new shoes." "(laughter)" "Andy said you analyze dreams." "Oh no, it's just an idea I had for a book." "[Andrew] One of many." "A collection of people's dreams." "I collect things." "[Andrew] That's a polite way of saying she's nosy." "I never dream but I had one last night." "I know what reminded me of it." "Do you want to hear it?" "If you wouldn't mind telling it." "Do you want to write it down?" "Now I'm embarrassed." "I hope you think it's good enough to put in your book." "I'm in an elevator, only it's me as a little boy." "I don't know if the elevator's going up or down." "It's crowded with people, although I don't know anyone." "Someone in the back yells, he's so small for his age." "Did you ever see anyone so small?" "Someone else says, oh, he's probably a dwarf, a midget in disguise." "The boy, me, says, but I'm only 25." "Ah, yes, I read of a similar case in Dear Abby where someone wrote a letter saying..." "Please continue." "I'm holding my father's hand." "He looks the way he did just before he died eight years ago." "My mother's on the other side of me holding my other hand." "They turn towards each other and smile." "No wait, it wasn't my mother." "It was you." "But I haven't met you before." "What happens next?" "What?" "[Viv] What happens next in the dream?" "Let me guess, little men, also dwarves, dressed in white come and drag you away." "After dinner we went to the movies." "It seemed like more fun than anything else anyone could think of." "This is what we saw." "Why must we go on like this?" "Let me go." "Do you enjoy torturing me?" "Answer me." "Answer me!" "I'm not your jailor, you're free to go." "Go." "What are you waiting for?" "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" "To get rid of me." "Then you'd never have to remember that night." "That's enough." "You've had too much to drink." "Let me go, you're hurting me." "The bracelets." "Oh, Carlo." "I'm so unhappy." "We loved each other once." "What happened to us?" "I'll pretend I'm going to the ladies room." "You wait a few minutes before leaving so it doesn't look suspicious." "Where are we going to do it?" "On the concession counter?" "It's a dark theater, there are lots of places." "If you're worried about her, you're wasting your time." "She couldn't care less." "She knows all about us." "She doesn't know anything, there's nothing to know." "Is this my punishment then?" "A life of misery with the man I once wanted more than anything in the world?" "You have what you wanted." "Jewels, villas, yachts." "Any woman would give her soul to have what you have." "I know, I did." "It's all ashes without you." "You were all I ever wanted." "We could go to Brazil, change our names." "Let's not throw happiness away a second time." "I know I've been bad, but I can change." "Believe in me, darling, trust me." "I love you." "You didn't tell me your sister was so cute." "If you like her I've got an aunt in Iowa you'll really love." "When do we leave?" "I can remember when you were more interested in teenage boys." "I think I detect a note of jealousy." "It's so ugly, don't you think?" "In a way it's sort of like seeing you for the first time." "I see." "Suddenly you're interested again." "In her brother." "(dramatic music)" "I'll take the money from the safe." "They won't find out until tomorrow evening and by then we can be..." "Together." "Far away." "We can get a boat from port." "Hurry." "I can't bear to leave you even for a second." "I'm afraid you might disappear." "He's very nice, your friend." "He's not Puerto Rican, I hope." "Are you busy Tuesday afternoon, because I'm free." "I'm working days this week." "See, you didn't have such a rotten time after all." "Yeah, it's a lot of fun." "She's not as nice as she used to be." "She's not so bad." "She used to laugh a lot more when we were in school." "Didn't we all?" "I don't think I want to see her anymore." "Darling." "Lydia?" "(gunshots)" "You were right about me, Carlo." "I'm no good." "But if it makes any difference to you now," "I did love you once." "That night." "Lydia." "The music." "(dramatic music)" "You were good to me, Carlo." "You were the only one who ever loved me." "(dramatic music)" "Do you know much about Greek mythology?" "I thought not." "You always live in the past." "You know the one about the father who raped his daughter?" "I didn't think so." "And then he married her off because he couldn't live with his guilt." "He changed his mind and he wanted her back." "Didn't the husband object?" "And then she had a baby who was also her brother." "Do you follow me?" "She wanted to revenge herself on her father but she didn't want to arouse his suspicions so she fixes dinner for him." "She goes into the kitchen and brings out this elaborately prepared meal." "Meat basted in honey, stuffed with figs." "Sounds good." "You like it, I'll make it for you someday." "Dates and walnuts." "He can't wait to eat it, he licks his lips." "All the time she's watching him." "When he's done, when he's licked the platter clean, she says to him, do you know what it was?" "Do you know what it was?" "Guess." "Come on, guess." "Dog meat." "Cats?" "His horse." "I don't know, I give up." "His son." "Her son?" "Their son." "You read this in Dr. Spock?" "You made it up." "It's true." "They knew how to settle scores in those days." "They didn't allow themselves to be taken for granted." "What about the husband?" "What?" "What was the husband doing all this time?" "Where was he?" "Why are you so interested in the husband?" "I want to know." "I'm always interested in what the husbands do in these situations, I identify with the husband." "Then you missed the point." "What is the point?" "The father hung himself." "And the daughter?" "You are interested in the daughter." "She was turned into a bird of prey." "I don't get it." "You mean to tell me that this is Debbie?" "What's the point?" "The point is just watch your step." "Don't." "No, don't." "Want to go to a movie?" "What are you typing?" "Want to watch TV?" "Guess what?" "I got you covered." "Where did you get that?" "Don't point it at me." "Want to suck it?" "Ah, ah, ah." "Dangerous toys are not for children." "What are you going to do with it?" "Blow your brains out?" "No yours." "Some night when you're sitting around like you are when you're sleeping, sometime when you least expect it, bang." "You're a real mental case." "Give it to me before you hurt yourself." "Take it." "[Voiceover] This is the way Andrew planned it." "Brian would try to take the gun away." "They would wrestle for it." "As in countless grade B movies, the gun would go off." "It would have been easy that way." "It would certainly let the problem of having to pull the trigger himself." "Someone else would have to do it and that was all there was to it." "Brian would not exactly have been responsible but he wouldn't have been completely blameless either." "Andrew felt bad about the possible guilt" "Brian might feel, but he was sure Brian would be a better man for it." "Chickenshit." "Is it real?" "I bet you it's not even loaded." "Guess again." "Brian, Brian look." "I'm blowing my brains out." "Wonder what's on the tube tonight." "I'm sorry." "Say you forgive me." "[Voiceover] They bumped into each other at the zoo." "He was watching the elephants." "She was strolling through the park." "They talked for the first time unconstrained by false ties in a false situation." "She remembered Andrew's picture of him as well as his dream." "He remembered the way she looked at him at the birthday party." "They found themselves as if pulled by a magnetic force in front of his house." "Andrew was working that day." "She asked if she might have a cup of coffee or something." "I've got a surprise for you." "I love surprises, should I close my eyes?" "It's not that kind." "I shouldn't have told you, it's too early." "Well now that you've started." "Come on." "I'm getting my own place." "Some surprise." "Not because of you." "I have to get out of here anyway." "I've had enough." "Please don't talk to me about him." "It would make it easier for us, wouldn't it?" "Easier than what?" "I like it the way it is." "I like things when they're complicated." "I like that feeling of, I don't know, trembling in the pit of my stomach because something I hope is going to happen, it's part of the..." "My husband, your brother." "My brother, your lover." "It's impossible, I can't keep it under control." "It's terrific." "And I'm just another minor character in this plot you've cooked up?" "Don't you try to blackmail me with leases." "I'm not going to marry you because you're getting your own place." "I know you're married." "I wasn't suggesting." "I don't want to break anything up." "I know it's the oldest one in the book." "But I really do love my husband." " [Brian] Him?" " [Andrea] In a way." "So what are you doing here?" "You're making something out of this that it's not." "It's not personal." "Just take it a little slower." "I don't dislike you." "So far." "You treat me the way men treat women." "Yeah, how do you like it?" "What do you think it means when you're carrying on with your boyfriend's married twin sister?" "I think I love you." "I'll tell you what it really means." "You like danger." "You don't love me, you love us, Andy and Andy." "Holy cow it's late, he's gonna be home soon." "You're gonna have to split." "You think I don't know?" "It never had anything to do with going on the stage." "Nothing like that." "I never thought I'd be good at that." "You know, playing Hamlet one night and then" "Joan of Arc the next." "I took acting lessons for a while but I could never get into being the character." "I would always wonder, for example, how would say." "Marlon Brando play this scene or how would" "Jean Harlow read this line." "And if I had to do a laugh, I'd throw back my head like Betty Davis playing the evil twin who killed the good twin." "I wanted to be the best imitation of Brando playing the scene I had to do for class." "Doing the scene was important only if I could play Brando playing Stanley Kowalski playing the scene." "Everything I did had a footnote and cross reference attached to it." "Everything was removed two steps away." "They thought I wasn't serious enough and asked me to leave." "Then I wanted to be James Dean." "Who didn't want to be James Dean?" "Only the best James Dean was dead." "I don't know how it started with Nijinsky." "I saw a book of pictures." "If there hadn't been captions you never would have known it was the same man in all the different stills." "He was transformed, completely made over by the roles he was in." "Everybody said that off stage he didn't look like much of anything." "He never said much." "Maybe he was even a little on the stupid side." "But on stage with costumes and makeup, he was a god, a creature from another planet." "Exotic, both male and female, animal and human." "But neither." "He was everything." "It was as if he realized his true self in all those different disguises." "Without them he would have been an awkward tongue tied kid that no one would have paid much attention to." "Only I'm leaving out the most important part, right, that he was a great dancer." "And all that stuff I pay so much attention to is just the accessories." "I know, I know." "He earned everything." "The fame, the prestige, the adulation." "Because of his enormous talent." "He was already famous when I took my first ballet class." "I'm just a kid from the sticks who used to read a lot of fan magazines and thought he deserved what the people in the photos had because it looked like a lot of fun." "And they didn't look any different from other people." "I wish I knew what the fuck to do with myself." "Waiting on tables isn't all it's cracked up to be." "By the time he was my age, you know, he'd already stopped dancing." "The most famous dancer ever." "And a year or two later, he was hopelessly insane." "Stuck away in a nuthouse." "This is your cue." "This is the part where you're supposed to tell me that you love me." "Look how open and vulnerable I'm making myself, damn it." "Say it." "Say it!" "Okay." "Don't say it." "Someone asked him once if it was difficult to stay up in the air as long as he did when he leaped." "And he said no, no, not difficult." "You just leap up and when you're up there just pause a little." "He lived another 30 years bouncing in and out of the booby hatch like a rubber ball on a string." "Shock treatment, psychotic episodes, catatonia, the whole trip." "Sometime if you're bad I'll do my Nijinsky imitation for you." "Let's go to the bedroom." "From ear to ear." "(laughs)" "Somebody help me, please don't." "(laughs)" "(yelling muffled by laughter)" "[Lil] The gun." "Where's the gun?" "My baby." "My baby." "It was just a game, I thought we were both playing." "How was it a game?" "Could you have stopped it?" "If I knew it was making you so unhappy." "You knew, you knew." "I want you to marry me." "Afterwards we'll go someplace beautiful, romantic, someplace we've never been before." "Mexico, Acopoco." "Yes, a vacation, go away, a rest." "Just the two of us." "No, just me." "We'll start over." "Yes but alone." "I'll make it up to you." "Without you." "What am I supposed to do?" "What about me?" "Lil?" "What about me?" "I love you." "I know I never said it but some things don't need saying, you must have felt it." "All these years together, they must have meant something." "If you leave me, you bitch." "(laughs)" "Make it looser, it hurts." "It's supposed to hurt." "It's too tight, Fred, it hurts." "It wasn't my idea, you wanted to do it." "I thought it would be more fun." "[Voiceover] A panoply of saints paraded through her head." "Saint Sebastians with arrows, headless Saint" "Catherines, Saint Ursulas broken on the wheel." "[Andrea] If only I had paid more attention in Sunday School." "[Voiceover] In a frenzy of religious and sexual fervor, it just might work but it would have to be spontaneous." "Not premeditated slipknots on the bedroom set." "Untie me." "Say please." "Come on, please?" "I'm going to kill you." "If I ever untie you." "Does this really excite you, I don't believe it." "You're warped." "Afterwards you can do it to me." "I don't want to do it to you." "I thought this was supposed to be play acting at being in pain." "All right, spoilsport." "(grunts)" "Aren't you taking your pictures and photographs?" "Keep them for me." "And your books and records." "They're yours if you want them." "I've been a monster, haven't I?" "I've been worse than that, I've been a spoiled brat." "You're very young." "You've had a lot of other things on your mind." "No, I was always rotten to you." "Both of us were." "He's such a shit, how did you?" "Maybe someday we could..." "I got you a present." "I didn't know what to get." "(dramatic music)" "[Lil] How could I be sure that my own daughter would have acted any differently than this girl who was often so cruel?" "Would it have been easier to bear if she had been mine?" "Now that I'm free of her and she needs me, it seems that she was my daughter all along." "Say something nice to me." "Anything, tell me." "I wish I could say something meaningful, give you some words of wisdom to carry around with you." "I'd be a fine one to give advice." "Some mess I made." "Could use some counseling myself." "How awful to be so young." "I don't envy you." "Well, first of all, don't let anyone push you around, fight, always fight, don't let yourself become your own worst enemy." "What else?" "I feel like a cheerleader." "Keep your chin up, don't take any wooden nickles." "Look both ways before crossing and keep your powder dry." "* Take good care of yourself" "* You belong to me." "[Voiceover] Debbie felt that Lil was holding out on her." "There was some magic word that she could but refused to give." "The secret talisman that would save her the trouble of everything she had yet to learn." "Send me lots of postcards from every place you go." "I love getting mail." "[Lil] Dear Debbie, I am having a wonderful time." "I adore traveling." "You wouldn't recognize me, I'm so tan and healthy looking, Lil." "Dear Debbie, the world is an immense and wonderful place." "Sometimes when things aren't going smoothly, it's hard to see the forest for the et cetera, et cetera." "Keep your chin up too, fondly, Lil." "Dearest Debbie, let me hear from you sometime, if only a word or two." "Write to American Express in Rome." "I really do wish you were here, love Lil." "Debbie my darling, I am very happy here and have taken a large apartment, so there is room for you when you come." "I'm expecting you this summer the minute school lets out." "Then I can tell you the answers to all the questions you never asked me that night." "I love you and miss you, Lil." "[Alvin] Any mention of me?" "[Debbie] No." "[Alvin] Why are you saving this trash?" "I didn't do this to him." "I didn't do anything." "Did you call anyone else?" "No." "That damn gun." "Oh god, it is my fault." "The gun." "Do you think the gun did it?" "He did it." "No one's to blame." "Had nothing to do with it." "[Fred] No, don't." "The police." "That's right." "I have to call the police." "What a nightmare." "He made this mess." "I hate you, you son of a bitch." "Who's going to clean this bloody mess up?" "Who's going to straighten it all out for you?" "Him, ha." "I have to make the funeral arrangements." "I have to get your shit out of here." "And the landlord." "I've always had to clean up after you, always." "This is the last time." "The last time!" "Don't pretend you understand." "We were twins." "It's like two people with the same shadow." "It's special." "I'm all alone." "Free." "What's the matter with you, why don't you cover him up?" "He's been dead a long time." "You have no right to say that." "What gives you the right?" "He knew I was leaving." "He wanted to keep me here chained to his side." "(sighs)" "You better get your things out of here." "There's no reason for you to be involved in it." "Here." "Take it." "A souvenir from Nijinsky." "A memento." "Ungrateful." "You ungenerous creep." "I'm going to Los Angeles or Alaska." "Something where the elements happen." "Where things are cataclysmic." "I mean where it happens afterwards." "I love mountains and oceans." "In 10 million years Los Angeles and San Francisco will be abreast of one another." "It's something to think about." "I wanted to jump out the window like Nijinsky's exit in Spector of the Rose." "A magnificent parabola in the air that never touches earth." "It would have been spectacular but I couldn't fit through the window." "It would have been too much trouble to remove the casement." "Don't hate me too much." "I wouldn't have done it if it weren't the right thing." "I love you both, Andrew." "Both?" "To whoever finds me." "[Voiceover] Lil and Brian both left work on the same day." "It was vague office gossip about the possibilty of a romance, infidelities, flight." "They were both at the airline terminals at the same time but they were heading in different directions and never met." "Much later that night, Andrea and Brian had the same dream." "It was to be the last of the dreams." "Madame and monsieur, ladies and gentlemen." "For my next number I will leap into the heart of a fiery volcano." "I beg you don't do it." "Think of the flames." "Think of the flames." "Think of the children." "I have to do it." "My fans expect it of me." "I'll make a swan dive into the volcano." "The single most glorious leap into a roaring inferno yet on record." "(rumbling)" "[Alvin] After she tried to kill herself, the last and most recent time, that is, she wanted me to listen to some music." "I want to play you something." "You know I hate that stuff." "Oh you'll like this, it's from Salome." "You remember the story." "Father had a crush on his teenage daughter." "[Alvin] It was his stepdaughter I think." "Well that makes it all right I suppose." "Why don't you just sing it for me?" "Wait, wait, coming up." "(opera music)" "(speaking in foreign language)" "You know what that means?" "[Alvin] I only took Spanish in high school." "The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death." "The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death." "I don't remember what I answered." "But I wasn't up for a serious discussion." "She was only just getting better and I didn't want to get her excited." "I tried to make a joke of it." "I think I may have said" "I hate doctrine thinking." "The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death." "Or else I said, oh that's a deep one." "The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death." "Oh I know what I said." "Yes, I said." "I'm not into religion." "That's it, that's what I said." "I'm sure of it." "[Voiceover] He remembered what Lil said but had forgotten what he answered." "She, however, didn't." "It was part of the reason that she left him forever." "The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death." "I guess that guy never met you." "You must be exhausted." "I'm going to sleep for a week." "Before you do I think we should talk." "That is if we still know how to be serious." "You think we can get through it?" "Maybe it's not the right time to start." "If we don't do it now we'll have to do it later through our lawyers." "It's gone that far?" "Further than you think." "Our life together?" "We've gotten used to bad habits." "Even the way we talk to each other." "The way we don't talk to each other." "I know what it is." "We've become slaves to an emotional routine we both hate and can't stop." "That's it, isn't it?" "If we don't stop there'd be nothing left to save." "Save?" "We used to love each other." "We used to be nice to each other, remember?" "Dimly." "Called each other sweetie and honey all the time." "That wasn't fake." "Honey." "Hm." "Is it too late for us?" "If I made a lot of mistakes I'm sorry." "Don't you think we can make a go of it?" "You're not entirely blameless, you know." "Maybe I should just shut up." "I almost made a terrible mistake." "But I won't have the baby after all." "Yes." "Let's try." "For a little while anyway." "[Voiceover] Viv finished her novel about" "Andrea and Andrew." "Andrew was mistaken." "The novel did not make him famous." "It didn't even put Viv on the map." "But it opened many doors for her." "She began having an affair with a man who had seven brothers and sisters, two ex-wives and five children." "He told her anecdotes and incidents about everyone." "She took a lot of notes, knowing there was a story in there somewhere." "Oh, her novel about the twins was called Others' Lives." "(upbeat music)"