"Yes." "Next, please." "(Alarm)" "Hold it!" "(Police siren)" "(Knock on door)" "Anthony Timson?" "You know damn well who I am." "What you on about, Brush?" "That's a handsome piece of musical equipment." "A boom in window cleaning, is there, Tony?" "We're doing very nicely." " Courtesy of the Pond Hill bank job?" " Bank job?" "That's above my station in life, Brush." "What's that, Tony?" "The wife's bagwash?" "Brief in R V Timson." "That'll be for Mr Rumpole." "The brief is clearly marked for Mrs Phyllida Erskine-Brown." "Oh, yeah." "I see." "I can put up with members of the so-called senior branch, but I will not be called a villainous viper in the Uxbridge Magistrates' Court." "Mr Rumpole said that?" "Morning." "Mrs Erskine-Brown, I've entered the brief for you in R V Timson." "Ah, yes." "And wonderfully prepared, I don't doubt, like all Mr Bernard's work." "How's your daughter, Mr Bernard?" "Polytechnic going well still?" "Three As." "And still keeping up her figure-skating, I bet." "Chip off the old block, wouldn't you say so?" "See you in Brixton, Mr Bernard." "I always felt Mrs Erskine-Brown had a real feeling for the law." "Oh!" "Oh, let's try the Irish screwdriver." "There you are." "Look at that." "Steady as a rock." "Most people would have got a man in to do a simple job like that." "Did you plug the wall, Rumpole?" "A useful shelf for the support of such vital articles as "The Oxford Book of English Verse"." "Professor Andrew Ackerman on "The Importance of Bloodstains in the Detection of Crime"." "Ah, a copy of "Archbold", the criminal barrister's Bible." "Yes, that one's considerably out of date." "And a spare bottle of Château Thames Embankment, 1983 and a half." "The instructions say," ""Plug the wall with the material supplied," ""before attempting to erect your easy-do convenience shelving."" "Did you plug the wall?" "Never read instructions to counsel before doing a murder." "Leave it to the advocate's instinct." "Never let me down in court." "You haven't been in court very much." "Oh, a temporary lull in business." "Nothing of fearful import." "That's because you're rude to solicitors." "You were rude to Mr Bernard." "You told me." "That's why he's not sending you any briefs now." "Sure that's straight?" "Of course it's straight." "I was not rude to Bernard." "I merely quoted Richard II to him to improve his education." "Perhaps he didn't want it improved." ""Oh, villain." "Viper." "Damned without redemption."" "I don't suppose he took that as a compliment." "He advised a client of mine to plead guilty at Uxbridge Magistrates' Court, when I was held up in the tube." "'Would you make peace, Bernard?" I said." ""Terrible hell make war upon your spotted soul for this offence."" "It's definitely at an angle." "Really, Hilda?" "That's because you're definitely at an angle." "One small gin and you start leaning like the Tower of Pisa." "There you are." "Look at you." "Look at you." "Pull yourself together." "Really, if that's how you talk to solicitors, it's no wonder I've got you at home all day." "Members of the Jury, soon this case will be over." "In a while, you will go back to your jobs and your families, and forget all about it." "At the most, it will be but a small part of your lives." "But for my client, it concerns the whole of his life." "But it is that life I leave in your hands with confidence, certain that there can only be one verdict." "Not guilty." "Sink down exhausted." "À la Donald Wolfit, mopping the brow." "Good end to a final speech, Miss Allways?" "Oh, yes." "My client's only accused of nicking six frozen chicken pieces." "I can assure you, Miss Allways, it works just as well on any occasion." "Ballard's just starting the meeting." "Chop-chop." "Aye-aye, sir." " This is it, isn't it?" " This is what?" "Whether they will let me stay here." "Perk up, Fiona." "I've cracked tougher courts than that lot in there." " Oh, just one thing." " Hmm?" "Old Claude, that popped his head in." " What, Mr Erskine-Brown?" " He doesn't tickle your fancy?" "You don't find him devastatingly attractive or something, do you?" "Of course not!" " He's hardly Paul Newman, is he?" " I don't suppose he is." "That's all right, then." "I'll see what I can do." "Oh, sorry." "Am I late for evensong?" " Good evening, Horace." " Hello, Uncle Tom." "We have to consider an application from Fiona Allways for a permanent seat in Chambers." "Mrs Erskine-Brown, you were her pupil master." "Mistress." "It is an extremely tough life at the Bar for any woman." "I'm not sure that Allways has what it takes." "Just as a for-instance, she burst into tears when left alone at Thames Magistrates' Court." "I know exactly how she felt." "Yes." "Rumpole's done a case with her." "She took a note for me." "There was something about I liked her." "What?" "She cares strongly about winning." "Who is this fellow, Allways?" " The fellow is a girl." " Good heavens." "Are we getting another one?" "I really don't feel the mere fact that this girl is a girl should guarantee her a place." "Yes, Phylli's right." "We shouldn't take in a token woman." "Rather like taking in a token Black." " Are we taking in a Black woman?" " Why not?" "I could have brought one back from Africa." "This is a problem that has to be taken seriously." "I feel we should go for a well-established man." "Someone who knows a few solicitors and can bring work in." "Steady on, Portia, old fellow." "Whatever happened to the quality of mercy?" "I honestly don't see what mercy's got to do with it." "Dear God, it seems but yesterday when Phyllida Trant, white in wig and green in experience, was accusing Henry hiding the lavatory key as a sexist gesture." "Can it be, having stormed the citadel, you want to slam door behind you?" "Rumpole, you're not addressing the jury." "No one can accuse this Chambers of prejudice against female barristers." "We find them delightful, as long as they settle somewhere else." "I don't believe this is generally known, but I have applied for a silk gown." "Your Alice blue?" "You'll look pretty in it." "From what I hear, informally, of course..." " In the bag, is it?" " That's not for me to say." "Phylli is right behind me." "Hmm?" "Oh, absolutely." "So with two QCs at the top, it'd be a pity if these Chambers became weak in the tail." " What would be a pity?" " If our tail got weak." "Well, of course it would." "What?" "I'm not interested in the sex side, but I just don't feel Allways isn't the right person to carry on the best traditions of these Chambers." "So young Fiona Allways must swell the ranks of the unemployed?" "Come on, Rumpole." "She has got a rich daddy." "She will not starve." "She'll miss what she's always wanted to do." " Uncle Tom." " I remember a Fiona." "She worked in the list office." "She wasn't Black, of course." "No, I'm against it." "I think I've got the sense of the meeting." "I'll tell Miss Allways she'll have to look elsewhere." " Now just a moment." " Yes, Rumpole." "This is not the last Thursday in the Hilary term." "Of course it isn't." "We settle questions on the last Thursday in Hilary term." "Last Thursday of Hilary term?" "I can't remember." "Oh, Claude, it was long before your time." "Of course if the new broom wishes to make radical changes..." "But I think we should stick to the old rules, don't you?" "After all, we don't want anarchy at 3, Equity Court, do we?" " That's in four weeks' time?" " Exactly." "We'll deal with it then." "It shouldn't take long, as we've reached a decision." "A mere formality." "Rumpole, what are you up to?" "Nothing, Portia." "Simply preserving the best traditions of these Chambers." " Good morning, Tony." " Morning." " Where's Mr Rumpole?" " Care for a fag, Tony?" "Don't mind." "Thank you." "Is Mr Rumpole coming later?" "This is Mrs Erskine-Brown." "She's going to be your brief." "I see they've charged you with taking part in the robbery." "They've done that on Molloy's evidence." "Mr Rumpole's always been the Timsons' brief." "You know that." "Mr Rumpole defended my father, my uncle." "He saw me through my borstal training." "Mr Rumpole can't have done all that well for you, if you got borstal training." "Well... win a few, lose a few." "You know that, missus." "Any particular reason why Gerry Molloy should grass on you, Tony?" "It's good of you..." "Ever been at a meet with him where a bank job was mentioned?" "Molloy says in the deps that he was the sledge, the others had sawn-offs in their holdalls, you were the driver." "He says you're good on wheels." "This is highly embarrassing." " What is, Tony?" " You being a woman." "It don't seem right." "Don't think of me as a woman." "Think of me entirely as a brief." "No good." "I keep thinking of my wife." "Well, she's worried about you." "It's only natural." "I don't mean that." "I wouldn't want a woman like April to do my job." "Briefs and us what gets ourselves into a bit of trouble." "It's all man's work." "The Timsons always were such old-fashioned villains." " Half a century behind the times." " It's not your fault." "Wait until my wife gets to hear about this." "Very hot on women's rights." "(Phyllida) It is the client's right to choose." "It's decent of you to take it like that." "It's no reflection on you, of course, but I am going to have to take in a chap to lead you." "Yes." "Yes, I just wonder who this chap will be exactly?" "Yes, it goes against the grain, but we don't have any choice, do we?" "Great Erskine-Brown." "Worthy Claude." ""Greater than both, by the all-hail hereafter."" "Look here." "Ah, Horace." "Alone and palely loitering?" "Where's Mrs Erskine-Brown?" " Hello, Jack." " Hello." "A glass of cooking Claret, please." "I hardly ever see Phylli." "She's so busy." "She must be enormously pressed, now she's pinched the Timsons from me." "Thanks." "Well, here's to crime." "Do you know, she doesn't come home until after Tristan's gone to bed?" "Really?" "Perhaps it's just as well that Fiona Allways isn't coming into Chambers." "Oh, you agree?" "Well..." "No, perhaps I'd better not say anything." "What, Rumpole?" "No." "It might have created all sorts of difficulties." " It might have got too much for you." " What?" "Cause all sorts of trouble." "In the spring, a young man's fancy lightly turns to you know what." "No, it's better that we don't have the fragrant perfume of Miss Allways floating around Chambers, don't you think?" "Frankly, I don't suppose I'd have seen much of her." " You would, you know." " Not as a silk." "You would have been thrown together." "Chambers' meetings." "Brushing up against her in the clerk's room." "You'd be out having tea and a bickie together." " No, terribly dangerous." " Don't be so silly." "Claude, you must admit that Miss Allways is a very attractive young lady." " Well, yes." " Yes." "But..." "You know what these young women barristers are like." "Enormously impressionable." "Passionate, even." "And very taken with the rather more mature type of legal hack." "Especially one teetering on the edge of knee breeches and a silk gown." " You don't mean that?" " Yes." "She finds you immensely personable, Claude." "You definitely put her in mind of some film actor." "What's his name?" "Newbolt." "No, that's a poet." "Newman." "Could that be him?" " Ridiculous." " Yes, I know, but all the same." "Far better she doesn't come into Chambers." " What you got there, Henry?" " My packed lunch, Mr Rumpole." " We can't all go to Pommeroys." " No." "In your left hand." "Could that be a brief?" "With my name on it!" "Mr Bernard sent this round." "Case of Timson." "Leading Mrs Erskine-Brown." "You've made up my quarrel with Bernard." ""Come to my arms, my beamish boy!"" "Really, Mr Rumpole." "Well, I did pacify him a bit, I suppose." "You're not to do it again." "I can't clerk for a gentleman that calls instructing solicitor "Viper"." "Would you prefer "snake in the grass"?" "I'm only joking." "So, I am leading brief in Timson." "A bank robbery." "That could last for two weeks." ""He chortled in his joy."" "(Laughs)" "Oh..." " Ballard." " Oh, it's you." "I thought I'd better give you a friendly warning." "Isn't it you that needs warning?" "Henry tells me you've taken to being offensive to Mr Bernard. (Coughs)" "It doesn't do Chambers any good to insult a solicitor." "Fascinating character." "Marvellous hair, burnished like the autumn leaves, and a tender, slender throat, thrusting up from that stiff white collar." " Mr Bernard?" " Of course not!" "I'm talking of Mrs Erskine-Brown, our Portia of Chambers." " Do you smoke?" " You know I don't." "What do you do, I sometimes wonder?" "Gorgeous character in many ways, our Portia." "With a most enviable practice." "Perhaps she's polite to solicitors." "Oh, yes." "Determined to get to the absolute top." "(Laughs)" "I have the highest respect for Phyllis, but..." "Yes, but devious." " Brilliant mind, but devious." " What are you trying to tell me?" "The wonderful way she got you to expose your sexual... prejudices at that Chamber meeting." "My what?" "Your blind and Victorian opposition to women in the legal profession." "Yes." "She's doing a report on that to the Bar Council, and several articles in "The Observer"." "But Rumpole, she spoke against Allways." " Of course." "What a tactician." " She seemed opposed to the girl." "That was to draw you out." "Understand?" "To get you to show your hand." "You fell for it, Ballard, hook, line, and sinker." "I can see the headlines now." ""Christian barrister presides over sexist stronghold." ""Ballard, QC, puts the clock back."" "No." "I didn't take that attitude, surely?" "You will have done by the time our Phyllida's finished with you." "Take my warning." "Don't cross her, Ballard." "She has the ear of the Lord Chancellor." "I don't know whether you had any ideas about some sort of minor judgeship." "(Laughs)" " There is one thing in your favour." " What's that?" "She seems to have taken something of a shine to you." "Yes. "Craggily handsome" were the words she used." "(Laughs)" "What are you thinking about, Rumpole?" "I know you, Rumpole." "You're lying there thinking about something." "I was thinking of man's attitude to the female of the species." " Oh, were you indeed?" " Mmm." "On the one hand, the presence of a woman strikes him with terror." "Really, Rumpole." "And fierce resentment." " Is that what you're thinking?" " And yet not only does he find her indispensable, but irresistible." "Faced with the whiff of perfume, for example, he is reduced to a state bordering on the imbecilic." "Rumpole." "Are you really?" ""She is a woman, therefore may be woo'd." ""She is a woman," ""therefore may be won."" "Oh!" "Oh, Rumpole!" "(Snores)" "Oh, Rumpole!" "(Rumpole) Hail to thee, blithe Bernard." "We're taking you on the client's wishes." " Just for this case." " I'm April Timson." " Tony's glad you will be his brief." " Ah, Mrs Timson." "Who's this?" "Young Vincent." "He's been to see his dad." "Delighted to meet you, Vincent." "Let me know the moment he gets into trouble." "It's a sodding plant." "Pardon my French." " Don't be so silly, Tony." " But what sort of a plant exactly?" "A floribunda of the Serious Crime Squad, or some exotic bloom cultivated by the Molloys?" " Brush has no love for the Timsons." " Neither have the Molloys." "True, Mr Rumpole." "Very true." "Why not a plant by the grasser's family?" " It's possible." " It's typical." "So, some person unknown brought in the cash, and put it in your super-snow-white, extra-deluxe easy-wash." "The jury may wonder how Tony can afford these luxuries out of window cleaning." "It's something you have to have." "You know how Tony affords these things, Mrs Erskine-Brown?" "He's a minor villain." "Small stuff." "Let's look at the form." ""Warehouse-breaking." "Shop-breaking." "House-breaking." " "Damage to traffic lights?"" " I misjudged a turning." ""Dangerous driving." "Driving without due care and attention." ""Failure to report an accident."" "If I get you out of this mess, don't give me a lift home." "It can be lonely at the top, Fiona." "You may wonder what it feels like to nearly becoming a QC." " I tell you, lonely." " You've got Mrs Erskine-Brown." "Mrs Erskine-Brown..." "I see so little of Phyllida nowadays." "Pressure of work, of course." "There comes a time in this job when a person feels terribly alone." "I say, I suppose so." "I envy you - those happy, carefree days, when you hop between magistrates' courts, picking up crumbs of indecent exposure." "Frozen chicken." "I was doing a case about frozen chicken pieces." "Is that Rumpole there?" "Can't you see without your glasses?" "No hard feelings, Portia, old lad?" "About me being brought in to lead you?" "Just a few." "What are you having to drink?" "A glass of cooking Claret, if you insist." " Why not a bottle?" " Why not indeed?" "Jack, a bottle of Mr Rumpole's usual medicine." "Right." "If ever you should have the slightest problem of a legal nature, or anything else, don't hesitate, Fiona." "A silk's door is always open to a member of Chambers, however junior." "A member of Chambers?" "Barristers and criminals - two of the most conservative professions." "Excuse me." "Oh, I'm sure." "I mean, I know some old squares are ridiculously prejudiced against women, but, speaking for myself, I have no objection to a pretty face around 3, Equity Court." " Haven't you, Claude?" " Ah, Phylli." "Are you going to join us for a drink?" "You know Fiona." "Who?" "Oh, yes, I know Allways." "Somebody's birthday?" "Ahem." "I saw your light on." "Mrs Erskine-Brown, you won't mind me calling you Phyllis?" "If you want to." "It doesn't happen to be my name." "Ah!" "Burning the midnight oil?" " It's only half past six." " Ah, yes." " I never married, of course." " Lucky you." "I lead what I'd imagine you'd call a bit of a bachelor life in Dulwich." " A decent-sized flat." "All sort of thing." " Oh, good." "I just didn't want you to run away with the idea I didn't like women, because I do like women." "Very much indeed." "I am a perfectly normal sort of chap, in that regard." "Oh, jolly good." "As a matter of fact, I have to confess this to you," "I find the sight of a woman wigged and wearing a winged collar surprisingly... (Laughs nervously)" "Well..." "let's be honest about this, alluring." "I saw you the other day, robed up, going to the law courts." "Really?" "I was on my way to do a divorce." "Ah, yes." "I just didn't want you to be under any illusions." "I am thoroughly in favour of women from every point of view." "I am sure the news will come as a relief to the women of the world." "No." "I don't want it published in the papers." "I thought I'd make it perfectly clear to you during the course of private conversation." "Well, you've made it clear, Ballard." "Please..." "Sam." "All right." "Sam, you've made it terribly clear." "Ah." "Look, some day when you're not in court, why don't you let me take you out for a spot of lunch?" "They do a very decent set meal at the Ludgate Hotel." " I've got to put this out to post." " Yes." "(Whistles)" "Good heavens, Portia." "Whatever happened?" "You left me to finish the bottle." "Has everyone in this Chambers gone completely out of their heads?" "What do you mean?" "Sam Ballard just made the most disgusting suggestion to me." "Soapy Sam?" "What did he say?" "He invited me to have the set lunch at the Ludgate Hotel." "Good night, Rumpole." "Er... good night, Portia." "The Lord Chancellor?" "Good Lord!" "Oh, Mr Rumpole, any more news about my getting into Chambers?" "There is a tide in the affairs of lady barristers, which taken at the flood, leads on to God knows where." "What does that mean?" "They'll either take you in or chuck me out." "Good luck to both of us." "Oh, Rumpole!" "Mr Rumpole!" "Tony says you've never let the Timsons down." "Mrs Timson, how is young Vincent today?" " He's with my friend, Chrissie." " Talk to you later." "I swear by Almighty God" "I will faithfully try the several issues joined between our sovereign lady the Queen and the prisoner at the Bar." "(Rumpole) His Honour, Judge Leonard Dover, QC." "Known to his intimates as Bluebird." "There he sits, and about as many laughs in him as a digital computer." "Members of the Jury, this is a case in which it seems there is a particular danger of your being approached by someone." "That often happens in trials of alleged armed robbery, by what is known as a gang of professional criminals." "What's going on?" "Time to throw a spanner in." "My Lord!" "You will be particularly on your guard, and purely for your assistance, you'll be kept under police observation." "Mr Rumpole, don't you want this jury to be protected from interference?" "I do not want this jury told that this case concerns a serious crime before one word of evidence has been heard." "I do not want it suggested that my client is a member of a top-drawer professional criminal organisation, when he may simply be a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." "I do not want the Jury nobbled but nobbled they have been in my respectful submission by your warning." "Extraordinary, coming from you." "It was in answer to an extraordinary statement by Your Lordship." "What is your application, Mr Rumpole?" "That a new jury be empanelled, My Lord, that will not have heard any prejudicial statements about my client." " Your application is refused." " Naturally." "Members of the Jury, I have made it clear nothing I have said contains any suggestion against Mr Timson." "There is, therefore, no prejudice against the accused." " Who does he think he's fooling?" " I didn't hear you." "I must accept Your Lordship's ruling." "Yes, Mr Rumpole." "I think you must." "Now, then." "That's it." "That goes in there." "Good." "Mr Molloy, I want to come to the Pond Hill bank raid." "How many of you were engaged on that?" "I was the sledge man." "Five of us altogether." " Five of you counting the driver?" " Yes, sir." " Did you see the driver?" " Yes, I did." "He picked me up." " Who was he?" " Tony Timson." "The defendant?" "No doubt about that?" " Of course not." " Thank you, Mr Molloy." "Mr Molloy, you have turned Queen's evidence in this case?" "Come again?" "Well, translated into everyday English, you have become a grass." "Not a supergrass." "A common-or-garden grass." "(Laughter)" "(Judge) This is not a place of public entertainment." "You are giving evidence for the prosecution because you were caught." "Not being an efficient sledge man, you tripped over your own holdall and missed the getaway car." "You were apprehended in the gutter." "They nicked me." "You have already received a sentence for two years' imprisonment?" "I got a two." "A considerable reduction, because you agreed with the police to grass on your colleagues." "I got under the odds." "Considerably under the odds." "For that you're prepared to betray your family." "Come again?" "Three of your colleagues were members of the clan Molloy." "They were Molloys." " And only one Timson?" " Yes." "The Molloys hate and despise the Timsons, do they not?" "They don't get on, no." "It's traditional, although..." "Although what?" "I believe my cousin's wife, Chrissie, - they're separated - lives quite close to Tony Timson and his wife." "That's where we had our meet." "Oh, indeed." "Thank you." "However, it is true that the Molloys are in a different league from the Timsons?" " What league is that, Mr Rumpole?" " The big league, My Lord." "You and your relatives, did the Barclays Bank job at Penge, the Midland Bank at Croydon and the NatWest at Barking." " That's what I said." " You spread your favours fairly evenly around the money market." "However, have you ever known a Timson to be present at such a big job as a bank raid before?" "Not as I can remember, but my brother was off sick." "We was short of a driver." "Perhaps you were." "But we don't know that, do we?" "Your colleagues seem to have vanished." "Efforts to trace the other participants are still being made by the police." "If my learned friend wants to give evidence, perhaps Your Lordship would like him in the witness box." " That comment was quite uncalled for!" " Steady on, don't tease him." "Yes, I agree, My Lord, it was." "However, with most of your relatives gone to ground, you needed a victim, to justify your privileged situation as a grass?" "A victim?" "You decided to pick on a despised Timson and put him in the frame." " Put him in the what?" " In the driving seat, My Lord." " Where he certainly never was." " He was there!" "And having decided to frame Tony Timson, was it a member of the Molloy family who planted a packet of stolen money in his house?" "It couldn't have been this member of the family." " The witness has been in custody." " Since the robbery." "However, you did receive visits in prison before you made your statement to the police." " A few visits, yes." " From your wife?" "One or two." "Was it through her the word went out to plant the money on Tony Timson?" "I wouldn't ask my wife to do them sort of messages." "(Rumpole) So, Inspector Brush." "Gerry Molloy made his police statement two days after the bank raid, at about 2:30 in the afternoon?" "About 2:35, to be precise." "Oh, please." "I'm sure the learned judge would like you to be very precise." "You went to the Timson's house straightaway?" "We did." "In a police car with the siren blaring?" "I think we had the siren on for some of the time." "We weren't in a hurry." "You were fortunate enough to find him at home?" "He wasn't out window cleaning." "Very entertaining, Inspector." "Highly risible." " Did he open the door to you?" " Soon as we knocked, yes." "No interval, while he tried to find a better hiding place for the money?" "Perhaps he was happy with where it was." "Perhaps, Inspector, he didn't know it was there." " I don't know about that, sir." " Do you not?" "One last point." "Did Gerry Molloy tell you Tony Timson was a member of a big-time robbery firm that might nobble the jury?" "He told us that, yes." "So a solemn warning was given to the jury by the judge on the word of a self-confessed criminal and informer?" "Yes." "But didn't that warning give an unfair impression of Tony Timson?" " Unfair, sir?" " Well, come now, Inspector." "You would never nominate Tony Timson for the Serious Crime Oscar, would you?" "He is a small-time thief who specialises in relieving householders of their home entertainment, video machines and such like, is he not?" "Yes." "Well, it would seem to be so, sir." "It would seem to be so." "Thank you, Inspector." "That money in the washing machine, Tony." "Somebody put it there." "But who?" "And when?" "Does April go out much?" " She takes Vince to her friend." " Her friend, Chrissie?" " I think so." "I never met the woman." " No." "The money was found in the kitchen." "Do you do a lot of cooking?" "Leave it out, Mr Rumpole." "No." "What about washing up?" " That's April's job, ain't it?" " Yes." "It's only barristers that spend evenings up to their wrists in Fairy liquid." "I don't suppose you run Vince's smalls through the washing machine?" "Would I do a job like that?" "It would be rather like having a woman defend you?" " Nothing personal." "It's not natural." " Really?" "I find my husband's quite a good performer on the spin-dryer." "Poor bloke." "Let's take it that you leave all the household chores to April." " Does she do the washing on Monday?" " Suppose so." "The bank raid was on a Monday." "Molloy made his statement on Wednesday, and the police were round to your place straightaway." "Whoever planted it, didn't have much time." "I don't know." "I never go near the bleeding washing machine!" "No." "Exactly." "See you tomorrow." "Come on, Portia." "I think we've got what we want." "(Horn)" "What's the matter?" "You look distinctly seedy." "The silk list." "Have you seen the new QCs?" "No." "I haven't got passed the crossword." "Ah, yes." "There's your name." "What are you worried about?" " My name?" " Erskine-Brown." "Mrs. Oh, Mrs." "Yes, I do see." "She never warned me, Rumpole." "I'd no idea she'd applied." "Had you?" "No." "Have you spoken to her about it?" "She left home before the paper came." "Now she's gone to the lady's robing room." " Do you think it might be a misprint?" " Excuse me." "A matter of business." "Allow me." " You're very kind, Mr Rumpole." " Only sometimes." "Thank you." "Well, how's young Vincent today?" "Chrissie Molloy looking after him?" "Chrissie's all right." "Tony doesn't know she's a Molloy." "There seems to be a lot Tony doesn't know." "We were at school together." "She's left Sean." "Yes, but they're still friendly, hmm?" "Close enough for the Molloy family to plot their villainies in Chrissie's." "Did she tell you they were short of a driver?" " What?" " Oh, come along, April." "They would never have used Tony." "He'd have got three parking tickets before he got clear of the bank." "You, I happened to have noticed, are very much at home with wheels." "What about where you hid your cut of the loot?" "In one place you knew Tony would never look." "Wasn't his income big enough?" "Well, what are you gonna do about it?" "You can't prove nothing." "What are you going to do about it?" "That's more to the point." "Now, leave it out, Mrs Timson." "Let it alone, April." "It's man's work." "Let them make a mess of it." "I imagine this was the first time." "It had better be the last." "Why didn't Gerry Molloy identify her?" "He was too ashamed." "Don't you understand?" "How could the mighty Molloys admit that they'd used a woman driver?" "What on earth are we going to do?" "We can't prove it was April." "Let's hope they can't prove it was Tony." "The Jury don't care for the grass." "The Molloys could've planted that money." "Only one thing." "I'll give them the speech about... (Both) Reasonable doubt." " No, I will." "(Usher) Be upstanding." "What?" "Don't you read "The Times"?" "I've taken silk." "I'm your leader now." "(Judge) Yes, Mr Rumpole?" "Ah, Mrs Erskine-Brown." "I believe that certain congratulations are in order." "Yes, My Lord." "I believe they are." "Ah!" "That's really straight." "Members of the Jury, in a little while this case will be over." "You will return to your jobs and your families, you will forget all about it." "At the most, it is only a small part of your lives, but for my client, Tony Timson, it is the whole of his life." "It is that I leave with confidence in your hands, certain that there can be only one verdict in this case." "Not guilty." " Splendid speech." " Yes, it always was." "Portia of Belmont." "Phyllida Erskine-Brown." "Fiona Allways." "The great tradition of female advocates must go on." "You just want to win that as well, you want to beat the Chambers meeting." " Why shouldn't we take Allways in?" " Over my dead body!" "Well done, Mrs Erskine-Brown." "Oh, thank you, Mr Bernard." "Why not?" "Rumpole, she was making a play for Claude." "I found them all over each other in Pommeroys Wine Bar." "I got so angry, I applied for silk." " Without telling your husband?" " I'm afraid so." "I see I'd better come clean about all this." "Rumpole, what have you been doing?" "I just wanted old Claude to look with a warm and friendly eye on young Fiona." "I thought it might increase her chances." "I suppose you told him that she fancied him." " Would I do such a thing?" " Absolutely." "If you wanted to win badly enough." "I imagine you told him she thought he looked like Robert Redford." "Now, I protest." "That is utterly untrue." "It was Paul Newman." "And had Allways actually said that?" " You want the truth?" " Make a change." " She hadn't." " Poor old Claude." "You knew what you were doing." "You can't rely on a girl to get in on her own talents." "You must admit the cards are well stacked." "You have to manipulate male vanity." "You were simply exploiting the male sex." "Well, now you know, will you vote for Fiona?" " Tell me one good reason." " Ballard's against her." "I suppose that is one good reason." "All because of you, I've ended up a silk." "Rumpole, what on earth can I tell Claude?" "He'd feel a great deal better about it if there was no merit in this thing." "Tell him the Lord Chancellor simply thinks there aren't enough women silks." "That's why you got it." "Good idea." "Mmm." "Er, Rumpole, is that true?" "It's possible, isn't it?" " Tony, you drive." " Honest?" " Yeah." " Oh." "You know, I always feel safe with you, Tony." "Oh!" "Haven't you noticed anything, Rumpole?" "What?" "Ah..." "Er... you've got a new hairdo?" "Er, have you?" "The wall, Rumpole." "Have a look at the wall." " The shelf I put up." " That fell down." "Good Lord!" "It's had pups!" " Did you get a man in, did you?" " Yes." "Me." "In this great profession of ours..." "Amen." "...we are sometimes accused of prejudice against the female sex." "Shame." "That cannot be said of us here in 3, Equity Court." "As in so many other things, we take the lead and set the example." "We are gathered here today to celebrate the well-deserved promotion of Mrs Phyllis Erskine-Brown to the front bench." "(all) Hear, hear!" "She's put old Claude's nose out of joint." "Phylli looks remarkably fine in a silk gown, don't you think?" "Gorgeous." "And to welcome a new member of our set, young..." " Fiona Allways." " Fiona Allways." "(all) Hear, hear!" "You were having us on, Horace, she's no more Black than I am." "Between us, Phylli only got it because it's the Lord Chancellor's policy to appoint more women QCs." "Claude, you're the victim of discrimination." "Never mind." "At least one of the family is bringing in the money." "But Phylli's made me a promise." "Next year she's taking time off." "Maybe I'll get some of my work back." "We will have a companion for Tristan." "Oh, Isolde!" "Well done, Allways." "Welcome to the set." "Thank you, Mrs Erskine-Brown." "Look, just one thing." " Not culottes." " What?" "If you're going to get on at the Bar and it is tough profession, just don't go in for these sorts of baggy-trouser arrangements." "No, remember that always, Allways." "Well, a fellow looks so much better in a skirt."