"Any resemblance between the characters of this movie and real persons would be a trick of fate indeed." "Italy had just given up fighting." "It wasn't defeat yet but it wasn't victory anymore." "On the eve of the allied landings in Normandy, what with transport being difficult, a scuba divers unit from the German army was ordered to hide a treasure in a submerged grotto." "After returning from its mission, on orders from the high command, the unit was annihilated." "The expedition wasn't to have any witness." "No it wasn't to have any witness." "Any witness at all." "The Allied Air Force was to erase the last traces." "What with the Colonel being dead and the map destroyed, nobody could find the treasure anymore." "All the witnesses were dead." "All of them, except me:" "Hektor Schlumf." "During eighteen years, I was stalked, hounded, always on the run, I had to wait, looking for a way of retrieving the treasure, and today, I'm getting close to my goal at last." "I'm coming to get what's mine." "I drink Herr Schlumf's health." "To Our Friend Schlumf" "To Our Friend Schlumf (His British Friends)" "To Our Friend Schlumf (His Russian Friends)" "(Quoting Victor Hugo)" ""So when dead such as those in the grave are laid" "Though oblivion's dark night, swallows all that are felled" "In vain does it pass over their sepulchre to which we bow" "Every day, rising more faithful for them alone" "Glory, the always renewed dawn, gives back its gilt to their name and to their memory its glow. "" "Our wreath is the prettiest, I must say." "You were right: they all came." "Oh, here are the English!" "Say, we even get to see Major Cyring of the Intelligence Service himself." "Poor Schlumf." "He had poor taste in friends." "And he was unlucky to boot." "To die in such a dump." "Another victim of tour operators." "And now, the Soviet delegation." "With its cultural adviser:" "commissar Matlov." "You know, Poussin, I'm not exactly unhappy." "The Englishman came, alright:" "I was expecting him to." "But that fox Matlov also fell for it, and I'm deeply satisfied." " This Mr. Matlov is dangerous." " Although when you look at him, you'd think that Lenin wouldn't melt in his mouth." "Oh, and what about those?" "Perfect unknowns." "Never saw them before." "The chap has a very strange morphology." "What?" " An ugly mug, I mean." " Oh, right." "Happy to meet you again, Commissar Matlov." "Mishka!" "All the pleasure is mine, Mr. Cyring." "Ken!" " You really liked Schlumf, didn't you?" " Mere curiosity." "What about you?" "Mere routine." "One of my men saw Dromard firing then Schlumf falling down." "But he didn't make sure Schlumf was dead." "You know how menial types are." "Always careless." "One has to check on everything." "Blessed are those who believe without seeing." " I'm a materialist." " And I'm a British subject." "Mr. Schlumf lives." "Logic is preserved." "Commandant Dromard had no reason for killing Schlumf." "Joking with death is most unseemly." "Especially since death doesn't joke." "Come on, Matlov, we have no reason to kill each other before we find Schlumf." "Logic!" "I love logic!" "Long live Major Cyring!" "Thank you!" "My dear Dromard, your shooting was almost too perfect." "One hair closer and I really was dead." "You played a wonderful corpse, I must say." "As for your burial... what a success!" " Many people attended?" " Friends, all of them." "And I wish you'd seen how sad they were." "Those bastards had been stalking me for years." "Put yourself in their place." "What with you dead, their life became suddenly meaningless." "You left and took your secret with you to your grave." "Wunderbar!" "What peace, all of a sudden!" "Now, I'm the only one who.." "Ach, so..." "I and Mr. Poussin." "Poussin!" "Fine." "You don't trust me, Dromard." "Schlumf!" "How can you think such a thing." "You know, Dromard, that only you can help me." "You and your government." "We need important means that I never could obtain." "To dive down to 40 meters in the sea, to blast an armored door, to bring the crates back up!" " Oh, just that." " Mr. Hitler was an organized man." " And somewhat worrysome, wasn't he?" " In september 1943?" "Granted." "You know it's a very hard job, don't you?" "Yes, but so profitable for your government." "Think about it:" "the whole of our South Front archives were taken here after the Italian Front broke up." "The letters exchanged by our Führer and Mussolini." "The proof of discussions between our government and the British, without the Russians' knowledge." "The proof of discussions between our government and Mr. Stalin's without the English's knowledge." "Enough to create a fine mess indeed." "I must say this could strike the fancy of some... playful persons at home." "And you won't have to spend a lot of money." "I want only the gold in the crates for my services." "Which would amount to?" "A detail..." "At the day before yesterday's exchange rate... oh, here we are: two million five hundred eighty seven thousand.." "three hundred and fifty four dollars." "Thats about one billion of your old francs." "Funny." "Just for you?" "Well, the point is I'm the only living person who knows the hiding place, so, obviously, my services are expensive." "Also, you see, Dromard, a man who gets to be my age craves pleasures that only money can get him." "I met a very... interesting person." "Wunderschön." "Very entertaining." "But do not dream too soon." "We must take a few precautions." "You made a mistake in coming back here." "You must disappear while we wait for the arrival of the hardware coming from Toulon." "Then and only then, you can show yourself." "I'm here on holidays..." "Poussin will be our liaison." "Be patient, and then you can meet all the..." "Interesting." "Wunderschön... persons that you want." "But let's not underestimate our opponents and let's wait for the National Navy." " So I'm leaving for Corsica now?" " Yes." " With those passengers?" " Yes." "But I've got to work here all summer!" " Do you?" " I'm not free." "Yes you are." "From this minute on." "And that's an order." "That's rich!" "I got married two days ago." "Congratulations." "As soon as you arrive there, Commandant Dromard will contact you," " and you'll stay in touch with him." " Dromard?" "Just the guy I needed." "Here are your orders." "You're leaving as soon as you're ready." "And the whole crew has to be confined on board." "One has to love his country, I tell you!" "Our ship is here at last." " You may fetch Schlumf, Mr. Poussin." " Yes, commandant." "Prepare to dock!" "Commandant, I brought Schlumf back in town, but no matter what, he won't go aboard the ship." "He's now getting plastered in a bar." "So now, a retired SS can best you?" "Could you give me a light, please?" " Thank you." " You're welcome." "Some people just can't hold their drink." "Come." "Hey, watch it!" "So..." "In front of us, the great Ukrainian plain." "The wind, the cold, the rain..." "Always the rain!" "I know how it is." "I lived in Lyon." "And then it was the counter-offensive." "Obergruppenführer Gilleh gave the order" "And all those who could still walk jumped to their feet..." "Sit down, pal." "He can understand me." "Miss..." "This young person seems..." "interesting, doesn't she?" "Jawohl!" "Very interesting." "Sensational." "Hey, Mario, wait for me!" "Ach, Dromard..." "Youth..." "Come on, my dear chap, soon you'll have a fortune... if you quit stupidly dragging attention to yourself." "We should leave quickly." "What better hiding place than a crowd, Dromard?" "So..." "Herr major, twenty years ago to the day, on the 14th of July 1942," "I was on the Taganrog-Rostoff line, with SS Viking Division 5." "We were split up in companies." "My company was surrounded." "We got out of it but with 90% losses." "Since then, every year..." "Once I had a comrade..." "Those were the days..." "In July of 1942, I was personally eating dust in the desert, facing Rommel's army, between Bir Hakeim and El Alamein." "Dromard, brother, I'll give you a few hundred million." " I cannot accept." " For old times' sake!" "Come." "First be discreet and careful." "Ich bin tote!" "I am dead!" "I came here in 1944." "The scenery was the same." "The uniforms were different." "Did you ever see me in my uniform?" "No." "Excuse me:" "there were so many of you." "How they love photography in the army!" "It must be the package tour angle." "My good luck charm." "I always had it." "Here." "Alright." "Waiter!" "What kind of Champagne can you offer us?" " We also celebrate the 14th of July." " Then dancing is required!" "Don't bother, commandant." "We win this round, don't we?" "Schlumf, run!" "Don't shoot, I want him alive." "I said I wanted him alive!" "What is it?" "Please excuse this intrusion, Sir." "I was haring." "And you got lost?" "Thank God, cause it allows me to enter an artist's universe." " A talented artist." " You're making my day, Sir." "This movement emits a very intoxication nightly solar radiance." "A mobility of matter." "Your simple sentences, Sir, make an artist feel understood." "Would you be a colleague?" "Unfortunately not, Sir." "I'm a mere art lover." "Please allow me to introduce myself:" "Adrien Vardoux, of Dignes in the Lower Alps." "Jacques Martigues, of Puteaux, in the Seine." "What I like, Sir, is that you're not doing.." "a parody of concrete objects." "I'm trying to integrate volume to depth." " In absolute terms." " Exactly." "Take three forms of unconnected metal, empty them of their matter, then only remains the abstract geometry of an image which is a poet's reality." "And here you found the purity necessary to all original creations?" "Raw nature." "The sea, the sun, the sky, birds." "That's a true artist's paradise, mister Bardoux." "And the result of this experiment is..." "exhibited..." "Did you lose something?" "A friend." "I would have noticed if he'd crawled under the furniture." "Most artists are absent minded." " Did you hear that?" " No." "Do you live here alone?" "Yes, alone with my conscience and it's noiseless." "I'm only asking it to feel, not to reason." "Reason errs, only instinct can see properly." "Simplicity alone can bring us happiness." "Happiness, mister Bardoux, can only be found within ourselves." "Asking others for it is a waste of time." "Others walk blindly in their own night..." "Poor Schlumf." "This time, it's for good." " You almost kept me waiting, mr Poussin." " I made up for it with accuracy, sir." "Well, you're a sharpshooter, aren't you." "But... he's one of the strangers at the funeral." "Yes." "Unfortunately the other one already departed this world." "This one will join him in a hurry." "Doctors can work miracles nowadays, if they intervene soon enough." "Do they?" "Yeah, and if the patient's not dead." "No, he did move." " I'm... hurting..." " Well, talk, old boy." "You'll be relieved." " A doctor." "Quick." " My friend and I are not locals." " And we don't know anybody here." " I'll tell you everything." "That's the spirit." "I'm sure you feel better already." " Go and fetch a doctor, mister Poussin." " Yes, sir." " Who are you then?" " An associate of Schlumpf's." " Associate?" " Yes, about the treasure." "But the bastard wanted to double-cross us with you." "So tonight you killed him." "I know the four of us would never have made it, but all the same..." "Four?" "Who was the fourth man?" "Martigues, the artist, of course." "Does Martigues know where the treasure is?" " Obviously." " Why obviously?" "What do you know?" "An Englishman." "Pleased to meet you, Dromard." "Our friend Matlov was also dying to see you." "He did." "We ran into each other tonight." "The commissar was in top form:" "such energy, such youth!" "And what about our friend Schlumpf?" "How is he since his minor accident?" "Mr. Schlumpf is not exactly well." "He caught a cold." "Maybe you were hoping to find him here?" "Oh dear, don't we always hope to find people at home?" "I fail to understand." "Oh?" "Didn't Schlumpf tell you that he lived here?" "Major, the last time you tried to convince me that" "Joan of Arc was born in Manchester, we were in Suez." "I'm still not buying it today." "I'll bet you £100 that this is Schlumpf's home, Dromard." "What do you say?" "I hate stupid bets." "The tenant of this house is a sculptor, isn't he?" "Yes, Martigues, I know that." "But Schlumpf rented a room from him for the past six months." "You're a very valuable intelligence agent, Major." "I'm in favour of free trade." "Let's play our cards openly, Dromard." " Banco." " Where is Schlumpf?" "Where is Martigues?" "Schlumpf came in here earlier tonight." "He was wounded." "Since then..." "Martigues was here earlier tonight." "Since then..." "I might help you with Martigues if you help me with Schlumpf." "That's a possibility." "Well, mister Frenchman, please shoot first." "Schlumpf is dead." "Oh, no!" "You used the Schlumpf dead trick before." "Twice is too much." "I beg your pardon:" "last time, he was buried." "This time, he's just deceased." "I don't believe that." "Are you still willing to bet £ 100?" " Of course." " Your move." " Martigues left." " I rather thought he did." "Are you making fun out of me?" "This is really annoying." "We'll never manage to believe each other." "I saw Martigues running away." "Well, I've got proof of Schlumpf's death." " Picturesque, isn't it?" " Who's this bloke?" " We never were introduced." " Who put him in there?" "Go figure." "And this place seems really busy..." "What did I just tell you?" " Schlumpf?" " £ 100 says it's not." "What a nice idea to drop in, but really, madam, you shouldn't have used the backstairs." "My name is Diana." "Sclumpf is dead." "He was stabbed, major Cyring." "I'm sorry, madam, that such beautiful eyes had to watch such an ugly thing." "No one will find Hitler's treasure now." "Not Schlumpf, nor Matlov, nor you." "Nor you." "Are you going back to London?" "It's such a pity." "How the Service would have loved to get those papers!" "We could have teased the Kremlin." "But Matlov killed Schlumpf." "That was stupid!" "I hope miss Diana will stay for a few days more." "Talk about killing the goose with the golden eggs." "Of course the Russians could get there first, and therefore tease us." "Maybe it's better this way." "I'd be glad to give you a tour of the area." "The old city is amazing, and the Pertusato light house wonderfully picturesque." "You're right, Dromard." "I'm going to leave your nice country and in three or six months, I'll be sent to Africa or to Asia, where I'll find you again, my dear old friend, until the day where God's pistol will drop my head in the dirt." "Major, you could use some calcium." "I'm going to salute our friend Schlumpf one last time." "Make sure he's really dead." "With those Germans, you never know." "He doesn't trust even you." "Will you allow me to walk you home, miss?" "Now?" "No, thank you, it's far too late." "But I'll gladly accept your invitation to lunch." "Tomorrow." "I've got no choice but to admit, madam, that you outshine the sun itself." "Oh, you Frenchmen!" "France always loved beautiful women." "And, last night, a certain smile..." " A barely seen smile." " You left me regrets and," "I must say, unfinished things  are sometimes full of charm too." "I fail to understand what charm there was in watching Herr Schlumpf." " I did a favour to a friend." " Beware of Englishmen." " I'm not into politics." " Maybe a little bit into spying?" "Spying is such a big word." "It's funny." "Spionaggio..." "Italian?" "Ah!" "An Italian woman telling a Frenchman that she watches a German for the benefit of an Englishman." "Beware:" "such a thing could result in dead bodies." "Maybe we'll have war." "Tell me where Martigues is and there will be no war." "Forget your job for a moment." "It's just the time to discover the great outdoors." "Try as I may, madam, I can see only you." "Commandant, you really know how to talk to women." "Yes." " Where is Martigues?" " You go too fast for me." "I'm still relishing the bliss of a wonderful moment." "Where is Martigues?" "The rapture of a barely seen paradise..." "Barely?" "Well?" "Martigues?" "Oh, that one... was a kiss in..." "Technicolor." "Alright, I'm buying." "Dollars?" "Swiss francs?" "Pound sterling?" "Your choice." " Here we are!" "Serious at last." " How cruel!" "What about your sister?" "Still living in Moscow?" "How dumb to open fire in such warm weather!" "I'd like to tell you that I love you." "And to sound sincere." "Come on, don't get depressed." "She's a delightful young woman." "She told me I could find Martigues at his friend Archiloque's." "Oh, oh." "She told you because of your charm?" "Yes." "And also following a tiny business transaction." " Yeah." "And you believe her?" " Yes." "But I'll check anyway." "You and your cohort take her back downtown." " Downtown?" "In such a heat?" " In such a heat, precisely." "Mind your manners, mister Poussin." "As for you, sir, who are in the Navy, should I find Martigues, you'll take him in custody." " Let nothing happen to him." " Yes, sir!" " He'll be pampered, you can trust me." " I have to." "See you, gentlemen." " Mister Martigues, please." " You want to see Martigues?" "Yes, I'm his cousin." " But he's having a nap now." " I'm sure he'll be glad to see me." " Martigues!" "The man says he's your cousin." " Oh no!" "Oh no no no no, oh no!" " He's not your cousin?" " No, he's not." "He's a killer." "He's the one who knocked me out with a hammer." "Oh, no." "And a good thing I did." "Or I never would have discovered Herr Schlumpf's body." "What body?" "What Schlumpf?" "What shall we do with him?" "Throw him into the sea?" "Let me tell you, sir, that I despise violence." "But why are you chasing me?" "It was all so peaceful before you came." " Darling?" " Yes." "Let's talk for five minutes, just us two, then I'll be at the gentleman's disposal." " Am I intruding?" " Not at all." "Erika, mister Bardoux." "Mister Bardoux is very interested in my work." " I can understand that." " What I've got to tell you is confidential." "Oh, no, you may talk in front of her, she's a tomb." " A tomb?" "Is she?" " She's my muse." " Has she been for long?" " Six months." "Madam!" "What a determination." "So typical of you." "Alright, let's be direct." "My dear Martigues, I came to ask you to kindly lead me to the grotto." " The grotto?" "What grotto?" " No!" "Stop playing dumb!" "I'm not mister Bardoux, I'm commandant Dromard of the secret service." " Your work must be so exciting!" " Yes, madam, thanks to the people I meet." "Whatever: you're in French territory, the accomplice of scoundrels." "What will it be?" "The grotto or trouble?" "I'm not involved." "I only funded the first expedition." " Expensive?" " Two million." " A failure?" " Yes." "We weren't equiped properly." " We'll do it again on a big budget." " Oh no, once was enough." "The grotto, the treasure, the papers, everything..." "There were four of us and three are already dead, so, you know, I..." "One billion is stupidly sleeping at the bottom of the sea." "Darling." "The commandant means to help." "One billion, alone, in water, just asking to be picked up." "It's not that easy, what with all the mad dogs who want to go with us." "Did you ever walk in a diving suit, forty meters under the sea?" "Well it's not the coziest way to fetch a treasure." "Can you at least swim?" "My dear chap, I'm in the Cavalry, not the Navy." "And a man must know how to bypass such trifling details." "Why?" "We must bypass nothing at all!" "One billion." "Isn't it worth a small effort?" "Darling..." " Martigues..." " For me." "And for France!" " Happiness is within our reach." " Absolutely not." "We already have happiness, haven't we?" "I..." "I found wisdom." "Oh, money!" "Always money!" "What good is money, for God's sake?" "All the really useful things in life usually cost about three francs fifty." "As for beauty, it's being given to us, free of charge, by immortal Gods." "Sunsets?" "Free!" "The sea?" "Free!" "And the song of the birds is free too." "In Paris, a single rose is sold for one thousand francs, but I just have to bend over the side of the country roads in order to pick wild flowers." "I can make clouds and birds fly in the sky." "Do you only know why I'm sculpting birds?" "Of course you don't." "Well, where birds are, angels are too." "And you come here, telling me about money!" " About billions." " No." "A few friends." "A few books." "A dog." "And me." "The man who owns himself owns the Earth." "The man who wants to own the Earth doesn't own anything." "Should you stay and live here, do you think you'd need all that money?" "When I think about poor Schlumpf!" "He would be here now, nursing his sunburn." "But with all that money, we could buy the whole island." "Own a Rolls-Royce." "And why not a skyscraper?" "No, no, no." "We mustn't change anything." "If the treasure wants to come out, it will do so on its own." "We just have to wait:" "it's there!" "There!" "Somewhere in the sea." "Ours." "We own it much more this way than if we went and fetched it." "A sign of the times!" "Nobody wants to work anymore." "Poussin is too hot." "Cyring lacks calcium." "Diana has dizzy spells." "Mister Schlumpf dies." "As for you, you've found wisdom." "You'll end up in soup kitchen, Martigues my boy, that is my verdict." "You made me sleepy." "You gave me hope." " That does it." " But, darling..." "You're not giving up, are you?" "It's so good staying in the shade, and we own the treasure since it's here!" " I can help you, commandant." " What's the use?" " I can convince Martigues." " Your conditions?" "A debatable percentage of the gold." "And a copy of the documents sent to my government." "That can be discussed." "Let the three of us have dinner tonight, at the Belvédère." "We'll work on him together." "Then it will be up to me." "As usual." "I'm German." "I like a well-finished job." "You guessed it: trouble is brewing." "So she told me: "I'm German.." "and I like a well-finished job"." "Very chic, isn't it?" "I don't believe in collaboration with Germany." " Why?" " Come on, Sir, here's a girl who's wrapped the dumb sculptor around her finger for six months." "Flashing her eyes, wriggling her butt, giving kisses and caresses, and all this in order to finally yield the case to you?" " You must be joking, Sir." " I never joke during work hours." "The girl, as you say, doesn't have a choice." "For one thing she wouldn't be able to lift the crates, and as for Martigues, he's mainly afraid." "Women always spell trouble." "And, counting the little Italian, that's two of them." " You're having fun in the Secret Service." " Please, DuGuano." "I told you to keep an eye on Martigues." "What are you doing here?" "Scram!" " And don't let him out of your sight." " Aye aye, Sir." "The man gets on my nerves." "Now, frankly, Poussin, would you picture me using Erika's ways on Martigues?" "Of course not." "So we need her." "That's friendship in politics." "You're not going to give a share to those people, are you?" "The good thing about friendship in politics is that it's never eternal." "Alright now, either you tell me the truth or I push her over." " Bastard!" " A nice spot for a suicide,eh?" "Bastard!" " Using foul language is very naughty." " Come on, old boy!" "Come on, shoot!" "I'm the only one who knows where the treasure is." "So let's get it over with." "Why don't you shoot?" "You scum!" "Will you talk now, you bastard?" "You can thank me." "I arrived just in time." "He got away." " Who was he?" " A friend." "Erika..." " There!" "You've got to do something." " Consider it done." "Martigues knows where the treasure is and Dromard wants to organize an expedition." "Please accept my apology, my dear." "You were right about Martigues and your idea of steering Dromard toward him yielded results." " Congratulations." " I thank you." "I can recognize the advantage of female instinct in some instances." "Hitler's secrets going to the Quai d'Orsay is something that I can't accept." "We must get hold of Martigues and liquidate Dromard." "Failing that, we've got to liquidate everybody." "That's the back-up position of the Foreign Office." "It's sometimes necessary to lose in order to prevent others from winning." "You're not going to kill Dromard?" "I'm a gentleman." "Our friend here is going to arrange it very cleanly." "Gladly." "They're all having dinner at the Belvédère tonight." "Please spare me the details." "If possible, bring me Martigues alive." "Just he." "Go on." "I'm somewhat soft on commandant Dromard." "And I admire him a lot." "You told me he was your friend." "Come on, Diana." "What do you find in Dromard?" "He's not handsomer that I am." "He's not handsome at all." "We are of the same age and he's not even English." " That's the point." " Oh?" "Well, he's got a measure of charm." "Commandant Dromart." "The sculptor Martigues." "And here's Erika, his broad." " Marcel, you'll guard this exit." " Alright." "Gaspard, you'll take care of their car and guard the parking lot." "Got it." "Louis and I will be in hiding here with the rifle." "As soon as he shoots Dromard, we'll join you." "Understood." " Yes." " Good." "Let me sum up." "The three of them are coming for dinner." "We wait." "Blocking all of the exits." "Each of you must spot his man." "We shoot Dromard." "As soon as it's done, you, Marcel will turn the light off." "René and Jean take the opportunity to get away with Martigues..." " Sir?" " Table for four, please." "Yes." "Pierre!" "A table!" "Please, Sir." "With them at that table, it will be easy." "As soon as Martigues comes in, we shoot Dromard." "Who's the goon?" "He wasn't supposed to be here." "I don't know." "Better tell René to take care of him." "Yeah." " And for starters?" " Caviar." " Yes, Sir." " Wait a second." "How's your caviar?" "How's our caviar?" " I'm very fussy when it comes to caviar." " Well, it's caviar." "Yes but... from Iran, from Russia or from Gironde, France." "Newly fished or not?" "Small or big grains?" " Osetra or sevruga quality?" " Why don't you order asparagus?" "No, miss." "When his mind is set on caviar, a man can't go back." " You'll bring a box of it." " They're 500 grams boxes, sir." " That will do for a start." " Yes, Sir." "Vodka?" "Champagne." "Piper-Heidsick 1957." " I'll have brawn in vinaigrette." " Very well, Sir." " And then?" " I'll wait for my guests." "Alright, Sir." "Sculptors will definitely never be soldiers." "The army and the fine arts always had a difficult relationship." "But I feel very far from the army tonight, Poussin." " I can understand that." " All of this is phony." "But the sun... the sea..." "But you hate water, Sir." "And you swim like smoked ham." "Think of the birds, Poussin." "Of small wild flowers which offer themselves to us for free." " Champagne is not free." " Money is nothing." "When the colonel sees our expense account..." "Well, if we bring him a billion..." "There will be no billion nor any expense account." "Tonight, Poussin, I dediced that we have done enough for our country." "The Rolls that you want is not free." "I can't picture you on a bike." " Please, Poussin, don't be trivial." " Look, Sir..." "Tonight, call me Théobald." "I'll call you Lucien." "Lucien, Théobald decided to enjoy his life." "If they allow you to keep your life, Théobald." "Look who's coming in now." "By Jove!" "I don't understand anymore." "I just don't get it." "And I don't like it." "How tactless!" "To be seen with Matlov." "What can she possibly see in him, Lucien?" "He's not handsomer than I am." "He's not handsome at all." "We are the same age and he's got no sense of humour." "Well, he's got a measure of charm." "The Slavic charm." "I'm really hungry anyway." "Caviar or not caviar, Théobald, it's dinner time." "Either Martigues is late or Erika tricked us." "Now this is rich, I say." "What can Martigues be doing?" "Maybe you discouraged him earlier today." "No, I'm sure he'll try to contact Dromard here tonight." "He hasn't got a choice." "Too bad!" "Let's do it now or the moron is going to ruin it all." "Shoot Dromard before the dance is over." "We'll find a way to get Martigues." "It's damn hard." "The man is wriggling like a worm." "Keep cool, son." "We're in no hurry." " Wait!" "Here is Martigues!" " What?" "What is it?" "I'm sorry sir but wearing a tie is mandatory." "Oh yeah?" "Well, I'm not coming from my tailor's." "I've got a date with the gentleman and I don't give a damn about your bloody tie!" " Let him in." " What?" " Please, sir." " Are you the sculptor?" " Yes." " Well, you come just at the right time." " Why?" " I hope you've got a gun." " A gun?" "Why?" "Why a gun?" "Oh, damn it!" "Do it before the song ends." " I can't." "He's hiding." " Give me the bloody thing!" "You should begin to get used to it." " The Talbot, here, quick." "Get Going." " The Talbot, yes, the Talbot." "You seem to be in a real hurry, commandant Dromard." "Was the cooking that bad?" "Not the cooking, but the service was less than desirable." "Call me paranoid if you will but I'm sure someone holds a grudge against me." "Gee, if they start firing cannons..." "Come with me." "It's your only chance." "Hurry, commandant." "I'm fed up with it all." "I don't understand anything anymore." "I want explanations." "Details." "Thank you, commissar, you did me a big favour." " Oh..." " Yes you did, yes you did." "The idea wasn't mine but the lady's, who told me a lot of things." "Cyring ordered Archiloque to kill you." "I also learned that poor Schlumpf was dead." "Yes, he'll be sorely missed." "Will you attend his funeral?" "No." "I've already buried him once." "Also, I've got to tell you something:" "your life is dear to me, and I don't care about Schlumpf's death anymore." " I thought you would be sad." " I won't shed a tear." "And do you know why your life is dear to me?" "Because the other lady died in your arms and your car just exploded." "Amazing." "No." "I think that you're on the right track, since some people want you eliminated." "Therefore, I just have to follow you." "Clever, isn't it?" " Since you insist, I'll leave you here." " You've been very kind, commissar." "Even we can check our knives at the cloakroom." "That's an image." "Good night." "Diana, my dear, you're arrived too." "Please, commandant." "The lady promised to spend this evening with me." "See you soon, commandant." "No, no, no, I can't take it anymore." "Why, this is an organized massacre!" "It's a hideous elimination!" "A huge genocide!" "Attila, Blue Beard, Landru..." "I could believe they all had a date right here!" "No, really, such business is absolutely monstrous." "Oh, gee, I forgot all about this one." "I can't take it anymore." "I can't..." "Come on, man, come on." "It's nothing." "Nothing?" "They try to kill me, they torture Erika." "There's blood everywhere, death everywhere." "I can't understand anymore." "I don't even know who wishes me ill." "My way is piled with corpses." ""I gin to be aweary of the sun..." "Ring the alarm-bell." "Blow, wind!" "Come, wrack!" "At least we'll die with harness on our back. "" " Macbeth, scene..." " Oh, no, please." "What with all this we didn't have dinner." "And I'm hungry." "There may be no caviar but there's some chow." "Come on, man, have a bite." "It's better to die with a full belly." "But I don't want to die." "I'm not in the army." "I'm a sculptor." "I don't want to work for the museum of War." "The military is a pain in the arse!" "Shall I slice some bread for you, Théobald?" " Please, sergeant Poussin!" " I see." "End of the holidays." "Archiloque works for the English then." "The English know Martigues is the sole keeper of the secret." "That's why they tried to off me and get hold of him." "If Matlov didn't try it, it means he doesn't know about Martigues' importance." "Therefore Diana saved us twice." "First by telling Matlov about the danger we were in at the Belvédère, and second, by not revealing your true personality to him." "But why?" "Oh, you should be thankful to her anyway." "When I think about my poor Erika, sore in her soul and body." "She's not dead?" "Pass the pâté, Poussin, please." " No." " Well..." "Great salami!" "It's made in the mountains." "With donkey meat." " Perfumed with herbs from the scrublands." " There's nothing like organic food." "Maybe a little too fatty." "All in all, Matlov irritates me." "Isn't it rather the young lady who leaves you wondering, sir?" "Oh, no, Poussin." "Me and women, you know..." "Poor Erika." "This little one is probably soft on me, mind you." " Erika?" " Of course not." "Diana." "Come on, come on, you'd better eat." "Alright, end of the game!" "I'll join Erika and go away with her." "That's it." "Where is she?" "Pass the salami, Poussin." "She's on a boat!" "Surprised, aren't you?" " The "Bloody Islands"." " The "Bloody Islands"?" " The "Bloody Islands"?" " This is perfect." "I'm really wondering why I'm here." "I'm off." "Martigues, if you don't want to be changed into a skimming ladle, you should wait for daybreak." "I'll find a way to get out." "We'll go with you." "Words, always words." "And when you're needed, nobody's home." "Well, enough is enough!" "My friends are killed!" "I'm chased from my place!" "Tracked to my retreat!" " My wife is tortured!" " Your muse." "And now I'm being shot at!" "It's not fair." "Everybody strikes me, knocks me out, clobbers me!" "You eat my food." "Maybe you'd like my bed too?" "Thank you." "You're a truly delicate person." "Oh, no, no, really, what did I do to God?" "We're leaving." "Cast off!" "All this water!" "Oh, no!" "No, it's not true." "No, it can't be." "It's nothing, my darling." "I'll explain." "I really don't see why:" "I'm past caring." "The captain is going to take us to the treasure." "You can thank him." " Apparently, she got better." " The captain works for Dromard." "Captain DuGuano, you'll be court-martialed for having disclosed a military secret." " She was nursing my sunburn." " While I was busy getting killed." "Tell me, DuGuano, do you think this is proper attire?" "On a boat?" "This is a warship on an official mission." "Prepare to set sail immediately." " But I don't want to go." " Come on, don't get excited." "You should explain, Théobald." "What's the use, Erika?" "But you all know each other?" "You're on a first name basis." "So everybody here is against me." "Of course not." "If the commandant didn't order me to protect you, Erika would now be dead!" "And you too!" "Now you're living on borrowed time, so you could thank us, couldn't you?" "Thank you, sir!" "Thank you, sir!" "Thank you, sir!" "I'm always forced to thank everybody!" "Now who's the greatest liar here?" " Don't be bitter, my dear Martigues." " You sicken me, all of you." "All!" "Nobody can be trusted." "You're only interested in the treasure." "Of course not." "Judas." "And anyway, why don't you take us to the treasure?" "We ask nothing more of you." "Erika!" "Martigues, I'm going to tell you the truth." "Martigues," "I must tell you that Erika is an orphan and the victim of blackmailers." "They forced her to find Hitler's treasure." "Or else..." "Or else?" " Or else?" " Or else..." " Or else my father will go to jail." " Oh..." " Ah, an orphan, are you?" " Even more so." "Alright, I got it." "Whom is she working for?" " The German government." " Oh, right, obviously." "You Mata Hari." "So for six months, you were only after the treasure." "But we had some good times." "Together..." "Alright, you want the treasure, we'll go there." " Oh, my darling!" " Oh no, you don't!" "Arrest her, commandant." "After all, she's a German spy." "Obviously." "Take her away, Poussin." "Oh, no, you traitor." "I knew I couldn't trust you." "Is this true?" "Are you becoming reasonable?" "No, commandant." "I'm becoming a patriot." "Things being the way they are, that is not very pretty, or even disgusting, what would you have me doing?" "Where do you want me to go?" "The whole of Europe is hounding me and I'm broke!" "So love, poetry, kindness, birds and little flowers..." "I'm sending it all to the lost and found." "Since it's impossible to live in peace without money, we'll fetch some money." "So don't be afraid: you'll have your treasure, but I warn you, commandant:" "I want my share." "A huge share!" "It's always grand to dedicate oneself to a noble cause." "And all this for what?" "For old papers." "An old war about which nobody cares anymore." " Bravo." " Shut up, you!" "Pain is steering him astray." "Set sail, captain." "Figuratively." "That's it then." "Commandant Dromard invites us to a boat ride." "Separately, we can do nothing against Dromard anymore:" "Mr Martigues is going to take him to the grotto." "Since the lady is the hyphen between us, and a more charming hyphen I never met, let's work together." "Thank you, commissar." "I always was in favour of bringing people together." "I know." "This taste of hers for Frenchmen is bothersome." "I have men outfitted for undersea research but no ship to hold the crates." "I am England." "England will provide ships!" " So I find the treasure..." " I take it aboard and then..." " a summit conference." " And a fully loyal one, of course?" "Of course." "I'll leave you Archiloque." "He knows the coast well and will represent me to you." "I'll come and fish you out as soon as possible." "Coming, my dear?" "God save the queen." "Give my respect to the Kremlin, commissar, and my regards to commandant Dromard." "He was going downhill." "That's fate." " End of message." " Did you get it?" "Subtle, wasn't it?" "I'm sure we'll trick them." "What is it, man?" "Anything wrong?" " The cigar makes me sick." " A detail." "Cut the engines!" "Drop anchor!" " This reminds me of Bilbao." " What Bilbao?" " Did you never see a bullfight?" " How horrible!" "We're like matadors getting into our costumes before entering the arena." "Couldn't you talk about something else?" "The spot seems well chosen, gentlemen." "Now you just have to go down." " Of course you'll stay here?" " To each his game." "We've been spotted." "Come on, gentlemen, take the plunge." "It's time." "Captain Godard, Sergeant Poussin," "I'll keep in touch with you through your throat microphones." "Go, gentlemen." "It doesn't remind me of Bilbao but of Berezina." "(Quoting Victor Hugo )" ""Their mouths, in a single cry, say long live the Emperor" "Then slowly, their band before them, quiet with no anger" "And smiling to the English hail of bullets," "The Imperial guard entered the furnace. "" "Get ready." "Here they are." "We'll follow the French to the treasure then attack Dromard's ship." "I don't want to wait for the English ship." "Go!" " They're in the water now." " It seems to please you." "Frankly, DuGuano,if I didn't really want to be spotted, do you think I would be here?" "With you?" "You never understand anything." "It's wonderful." "What a sight!" "I feel like a bird." "Dear Poussin." "I can well picture him as a warbler lost at the bottom of the sea." "Alright!" "Godard found a suitable grotto for our trick." "Godard and his men will lead Matlov to the grotto." "Martigues and I are swimming towards the submarine." "It's time for our rendez-vous." "The submarine?" "What submarine?" "The French Navy can spare more than a cockleshell for its special missions." "Our secret weapon, DuGuano, is to be able to act stupid with sincerity." "Godard will stay in touch with you." "I stop transmitting." " Good luck, commandant." " Good luck, Poussin." " I got it, commandant." " Congratulations." "I'm not surprised." "Matlov is swimming towards Godard.." "while Martigues and Poussin meet the submarine." "Godard will try to delay Matlov with minimal casualties then he'll retreat." "Matlov will then discover an empty grotto and will come here." "This is Godard." "Everything is OK, commandant." " Matlov's men spotted the grotto." " Fine tactics, don't you think?" "Yes, commandant." "But you could have told me that I was the captain of a trap." "What about the submarine?" "Is it far from here?" "A good quarter of an hour swim." "We must delay Matlov that long." "Free Erika." "We're going to have visitors, we need a hostess." " Alright." " Try to be discreet, DuGuano." " Of course, commandant." " That's an order." "We're making contact now, commandant." "Commandant, commandant, they stopped transmitting." " They were fighting with knives." " We can't see a thing." "How awful." "How bothersome, you mean:" "blood is going to attract sharks." " Still your old ignoble self." " I certainly hope so." " Oh, bubbles!" "They're coming up." " Who is?" "I bet for Matlov, at three against one" " DuGuano!" " Commandant?" "Martigues and Poussin probably haven't reached the submarine yet." "We must distract Matlov for about ten minutes." " What do you intend to do?" " Anything, as usual." "Commandant Dromard!" "Put down your weapon or I shall blow the ship up." "Commissar, I accept your offer of a truce." "I've got a woman on board:" "I don't want to spill innocent blood." " Commandant Dromard..." " Théobald, you're getting old." "I'm sorry to disturb your excursion but there was nothing in the grotto." "Just your damn divers." "Men have drowned on both sides and others, wounded, stayed in the grotto." "I'll allow you to fetch them if you give me Martigues, so he can correct this topographical mistake." "Mr. Martigues was heading the detachment." "Poor Martigues..." "He was such a bad swimmer." "I liked him, in spite of everything." "He also was very valuable to us, believe me." "He wasn't among the wounded." "He's not on board either." "I think both our missions are over, commissar." "I think so too." "But there's still a chance." "Get this ship going." "We're going to patrol along the cliffs and see if, by chance, he wasn't thrown on some shore." "You won't find Poussin, anyway, and that's a thing I'll never forgive, Matlov." "Poussin?" "What Poussin?" "Poussin." "My companion." "The lowly, plebeian soldier." "He was a sergeant." "Twenty-five years in the service." "A boxing champ in the army." "We nicknamed him "Tiger"." "He was disqualified permanently for irregularity in the ring." "I heard his voice dying in his throat microphone." "It was horrible." "Hail, Poussin, you brave and loyal companion." "You, whom I led on the paths to glory to the Pyramids, via Berlin, Seoul, Gibraltar..." "I shall not leave you in this abyss." "Be brave in this, your last fight, and see you soon." " We will meet again in Elyseum." " Elyseum?" "The warriors' paradise, of course." "You really don't think..." "In our country, commissar, the Navy has its traditions." "Since I can't blow my ship up, I'll go down alone." "(Quoting Henri de Montherlant)" "Oh, spirits of illustrious men, you my role models, my idols, give me a sign, make me understand that you accept me among you." "Pompeus." "Caesar." "To me." "But nothing." "Not one gesture." "Not one sign." "They're vanishing." "Then... let me vanish too. "" "Malatesta, Act IV, Scene IX." "His despair seems somewhat excessive." "What do they do in Russia, commissar, when there's a man overboard?" "It depends." "His swimming is quite elegant." "A bit old fashioned, don't you think?" "He'll go down before he swims one hundred meters." "Won't you do something?" "We have an old proverb:" ""When you like your enemy's face, push it underwater. "" " What did you tell them?" " To bring him back to me alive" "I need him to leave this country freely." "We're going to fetch his Poussin." "It's not necessary anymore." "It's even more beautiful than I thought." " Can you see what I see?" " My Rolls-Royce." " No:" "Poussin and Martigues." " I'm used to that." "But they both drowned!" "In Corsica!" "You even said you'd join Poussin in Elyseum." "Well I'm meeting him in Orly." "You're not going to complain for a mere ten kilometers, are you?" "One of your dirty tricks again!" ""I've got a woman on board, I don't want to spill innocent blood. "" "I knew it!" "Bastard!" "Do you like it?" "Wonderful." "I've been waiting twenty years for this minute." "What about you, Martigues?" "Happy?" "The colonel is full of largesse, he doesn't haggle." "He pays cash." "Of course he does." "The French secret services are rich now." "Yes." "I had a hard time finding the bloody grotto again, you know." "You scum." "I don't like the tone of this conversation." "Thank you, Martigues, and please forgive us:" "we're not people one should associate with." "Have a nice trip." "Mister Poussin." " Oh, no." " Oh, yes." "Funny, isn't it?" "Jacques, wait!" " Take me with you." " No." "With my money, I'll buy a desert island." "Just flowers, birds, the sun." "I know one such in Greece." "I beseech you." "I need a holiday." "I know you too well." "After a week, I'd see submarines, then the Russians, then the Americans..." " Good bye, Erika." " Good bye, little Frenchman." "How come I didn't see the English in the grotto, Diana?" "Major Cyring was arrested by the Gendarmerie." "Just for a few hours." "So you would be undisturbed." "Cyring arrested?" "On what grounds?" "Indecent assault." "I filed a complaint." "You're cruel." "You betrayed Cyring." "You betrayed Matlov." " When will you betray me?" " Never." " Your word of honor?" " My word of honor." "Translation:" "Goupil66 September 2010"