"♪ Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda ♪" "[Scatting]" "♪ Raised in a noodle shop ♪" "♪ Never seeking glory or fame ♪" "♪ He climbed the mountaintop ♪" "♪ And earned the Dragon Warrior name ♪" "Ooh!" "Ahh!" "Yah!" "♪ Kung Fu Panda [scatting]" "♪ Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ♪" "♪ And master the skills" "♪ Of bodacious and awesome" "♪ Kung Fu Panda [scatting]" "♪ He lives and he trains and he fights ♪" "♪ With the Furious Five" "♪ Protect the valley something something ♪" "♪ Something something alive ♪" "♪ Kung Fu Panda" "♪ Legends of Awesomeness" "Sweet!" "Hiyah!" "[Thud]" "[Punch impacts]" "Monk, old buddy, you picked the wrong sparring partner." " Ha!" " Oof!" "I know, but the practice dummy's in the shop." "[Giggles]" "[Fake laughs]" "Hy-sterical, my furry friend." "But none of your tricky Monkey trick trickery." "We're gonna do this." "[Gasps]" " What?" "!" " Giant rice ball!" "Wha..." "[Thud]" "[Pants snap]" "Ooh, blazing butt chop." "[Groans] Nice move." "[Giggles] You fall for it every time!" "Now, I'm gonna take you down." "[Doors burst open] [Crowd chatters]" "Whoa, you have an army, cool." "Hello, son." "Wait, dad?" "Is Shifu at home?" "The angry mob and I must speak with him at once." "[Mob mutters angrily]" "Mr. Ping." "Oh, thank goodness, Shifu." "You have got to do something." "The Valley of Peace is being swept by a crime wave." "Awesome!" "Po, please, this is serious." "Sorry, I meant, awesome-bad!" "It is awesome-bad, Po." "The thief even stole my emergency noodle fund." "What if there's an emergency and I needed money for noodles?" "I would have no fund!" "[Crowd angrily agrees]" "And worse, he leaves childish pranks at the scene of each crime, just to taunt his victims." "[Surprised gasp]" "Monkey, what's wrong?" "Oh, nothing, just uh, wha?" "The Jade Palace will handle this, Mr. Ping." "Tigress, Monkey..." "Hold on, master Shifu." "I know what you're thinking." "Po's keen powers of observation make him awesome at figuring out crime clues and stuff of that ilk." "I wasn't thinking any such thing." "Yes, I do!" "Okay, let me lay it down for you." "Tigress, you'll be my plucky assistant." "Naturally, the monk man will be my partner, like in those buddy warrior operas." "One warrior goes by the book." "The other makes his own rules." "Dibs on the make his own rules guy." "Uh, sorry, Po, but I have other plans." "[Nervous laugh]" "'Kay, so I'll just be going now, bye." "That was weird." "I know, Monkey loves playing buddy warrior." "Be that as it may," "Mantis, Tigress, you'll accompany Po." "Uh-huh." "You won't regret this, master Shifu." "I'll be the best sleuthy figure-it-out guy the Jade Palace has ever seen!" "[Sings to himself]" "Ooh, do we have like, a shiny badge?" "Go." "On it." "Maybe some kind of certificate or official... stick?" "Po." " Uh..." " Po!" "[Slaps]" "All right, dad." "Just stay calm." "Good." "Plucky assistant, you take notes." "Substitute buddy warrior, get ready to hold me back when I go berserk." "Fwaa!" "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Mr. Ping, how did the thief get in?" "Well, I guard my noodle fund very carefully." "He broke in through that locked window, and then got past these booby traps, and went straight for my secret noodle fund jar." "Wow, he didn't spring any of them?" "[Arrogant chuckle] Traps are easy to avoid as long as you..." " [Traps go off] - [Pained groans]" "Uh, just getting inside the head of the..." "I'm listening, continue." "Hey, check this out!" "A patch of fur." "It must have come off as he was making his escape." "[Grunts] Hold on, I know what to do!" "It's as plain as the throbbing vein on Tigress's forehead." "[Inhales deeply]" "[Slobbers]" "[Fur squishes] Aah." "Can't unsee that." "Uh, son, we're wasting out time." "The thief has robbed every merchant on this street except for Wang." "Uh, the grocer." "Ooh, maybe that's his next target." "Sweet deduction, substitute buddy warrior." "Let's hide out across the street and wait for the thief to show." "Yes, a stakeout!" "Love it." "I call first watch." "Nothing gets past the master of alertness." "[Snores]" "[Mumbles]" "[Half-asleep] No, not without my pants!" "Kung fu powers, cut in half." "Pants, come back!" " Po!" " [Squish] Aagh!" "Don't look at me!" "[Grunts]" "[Sighs] The no pants dream again?" "No." "Why would you think that?" "[Sighs] Why don't you go splash water on your face." "We have a long night ahead of us." "Good thinking, plucky assistant." "That's what you bring to the party." "Brain... s be right back, refreshed and ready for action." "[Yawns]" "[Gargles]" "[Refreshed sigh]" "Ooh." "[Laughs]" "[Wind whips] What?" "[Rustling sounds]" "Huh?" "Halt in the name of this semi-official certificate and stick." "[Metallic jingles]" "Huh?" " Yah!" " [Pained grunt]" "[Thud] Ow." "Aagh." "[Crash]" "[Heavy crash]" " Ugh." " Ha!" "[Pained groans]" "Oof!" " [Pants snap] - [Laughs]" "Ooh, blazing butt chop." "Wait, that's Monkey's move." "[Coins jingle]" "[Chuckles]" "Monkey?" "[Barrels crash] Gah!" "This can't be happening." "Monkey is the thief?" "Or is he?" "Wha... pants?" "Search your feelings, Po." "You know Monkey better than anyone." "He's no thief." "Yeah, you're right." "But it sure looked like Monkey." "Who are you going to believe?" "You eyes or your talking pants?" "Eh, well, is uh, this a trick question?" "Goodbye, Po." "Pants, wait!" "Hey, if you're up there, then I must..." "[Screams]" "[Breathes heavily]" "[Relieved sigh]" "It can't be Monkey." "I've gotta get the evidence to prove it's not him." "Then, after craftily collecting clues, we went on a stakeout." "I remained alert while Tigress and Mantis caught some Zs." "So you saw nothing last night?" "Nothing." " Nothing?" " Nothing." "Nothing at all?" "[Clears throat] Nope, nada, no." "Uh, and I certainly didn't see anyone we all know personally," "I mean..." "[Laughs]" "Nothing." "The only clue we found was this patch of fur." "Hmm." "This is very apelike fur." "[High-pitched noise]" "Ape fur?" "[Laughs]" "That's ridiculous." "Apes don't have fur." "I'm pretty sure that they do." "Well, the only ape..." "[Crunch]" "Uh, we're wasting time, come on everyone." "Let's get some sleep." "[Crunch]" "Am I right?" "Yeah!" "Dude, you could not be any weirder." "Yeah." "Ha." "Sleep, little Monkey." "Sleep like the wind." "[Snips]" "Dark in here." "[Cuts hair]" "[Slurp] Uh-huh." "Ha, these fur samples are completely different!" "This'll prove the thief's fur sample doesn't match Monkey's." "[Door creaks open]" "Tigress..." " [Slams door] - [Screams in pain]" "Toe, ow!" "[Door opens]" "Oh, hey Po." "So uh, what are you doing up so late?" "Uh, nothing, I just went for a drink of water, and now I'm going back to my room." "Ah, me too." "Okay, well, I'll see you in the morning." "I'm going back to my room now." "You can go out and rob..." "I mean de... uh, I mean uh, you can get a drink or whatever it is you're gonna do." "I'm not watching you or anything." "No, it's like I..." "like I said I'm just going back to my... room." "Okay, good night." "[Slurps]" "It's a match." "Po, is that you?" "Uh, no, I mean, uh, yes." "[Chuckles] I thought this was my room." "I-isn't this my room?" "I... what happened?" "I'm, uh, I'm not looking for anything." "I-I'm just going to my..." "The grain mill." "Hmm." "Po, what are you doing in there?" "No, uh, nothing." "[Chuckling] Nothing, I was looking for an extra pillow." "But, uh, Monkey said it was uh," "I'm just gonna go back to my room now." "[Chuckling] Okay, it's like I said, everybody." "I'm just going back to my room." "All:" "Goodnight, Po!" "[Door bursts open]" "[Mob yells incoherently]" "Uh, Shifu, Shifu?" "Mr. Ping, please calm down." "We know who the thief is." "You do?" "I dusted my shop with noodle powder, and found these fingerprints on the curtains." "They clearly belong to a long-tailed, knuckle-walking Monkey." "[All gasp]" "Mr. Ping, are you sure?" "[Laughs] Noodle powder doesn't lie." "[Mob yells angrily]" "Dad, mob, wait." "I know it looks bad, real bad, but Monkey..." "Uh, Po?" "Just a second, Monkey." "Fine, his fingerprints were at the scene." "And so was his fur and yeah he had a suspicious map of all the robbed stores." "Po!" "And sure the thief I saw last night had a long tail and moved like a Monkey." "You saw the thief last night?" "You didn't say anything." "Didn't I?" "Uh, it must have slipped my uh..." "But listen, everyone, I know this Monkey and no matter what the "irrefutable evidence" may show, he's a great master, a warrior of integrity and the best friend I've got." "And he's no thief." "Right, Monkey?" "Tell 'em the truth." "I am the thief." "[Mob gasps]" "Tell 'em, Monkey." "I am the thief." "But tell 'em the other..." "Thing." "Wai... you..." "Monkey?" "No." "Get him!" "[Mob yells]" " [Smack]" " Oof!" "[Mob groans]" "[Clang]" "[Metal scrapes]" "You protected someone whom you knew robbed your own father?" "For shame, Po." "For shame!" "This is a grievous day for our temple." "We must pursue Monkey at once." "Wait, look, I know you don't have any reason to trust me." "You got that right." "Yeah, uh, it's just that," "I think I know where's he headed." "Let me go alone, he'll listen to me." "I can fix this, please, please, please!" "Very well, Po." "But master..." "I hope Monkey listens to you, because if he doesn't we'll be coming for both of you." "[Coins jingle]" "Monkey." " Wa!" " Huah!" "Monkey, listen, I don't know why you're doing this." "But I won't let you throw away our friendship." "[Kung fu sounds]" "Whoa!" "[Grunts]" "Don't make me do this, Monkey." "For the last time, come back with..." "What are you looking at?" "You're not Monkey." "Who are you?" "Tell me, who are you?" "!" "Po?" "He's my brother." "Your brother." "Ha, I knew it wasn't..." "[Gibberish]" "[Laughs]" "Nighty-night, Panda." "Gah!" "[Groans]" "Monkey, oh, I knew you weren't the thief." "Yes, this is so awesome and... hey wait a minute." "You nerve-pinched me." "What's going on?" "Ah, lame-o's awake, huh?" "Not so tough now, are you?" " [Thud]" " Agh!" "Okay, still kinda tough." "Oh, Monkey, help me get these chains off." "I can't, Po." "Not yet." "I'll free you as soon as he leaves." "Which will be happening now." "[Laughs] Wukong, king of thieves, answers to no one." "Especially not his fancy-pants snob of a kid brother." "King of thieves, ha!" "Uh, fellas, can we kinda bring it back to uh..." "Yeah, better." "[Clears throat]" "Monkey, I know he's your brother, but come on." "Why are you protecting this chump?" "[Sighs]" "Long before I was in the Furious Five, my brother and I were both trouble-makers." "But where I was happy merely playing pranks, he went deeper, into a life of crime." "[Claws sharpen]" "[Crunch]" "[Slam]" "He was imprisoned and shamed our family." "[Lightning cracks]" "Then, he escaped, and continued his criminal ways while I was training at the Jade Palace." "[Coins jingle]" "We had chosen different paths." "[Punch impacts]" "[Thunder and lightning]" "The battle between us broke our mother's heart." "But still, Wukong was her first born, and she loved him dearly." "She made me swear to protect the family." "I'll go to prison for him before I break my promise to my mother." "That's my brother." "He may be a sap, but I can always count on his protection." "Ah, you stink Wukong!" "Now the entire village is hunting Monkey." "His name is mud around here now." "Well, mud, you need a fresh start." "You can come be my bodyguard." "[Sighs] It's not like I can stay around here anymore." "You can and you will!" "[Grunts] [Metal shatters]" "Uh-oh." "You're going down, Wukong." "[Chain whips]" "[Chain jingles] Huh?" "Monkey, we have to turn Wukong in." "It's the only way to clear your name." "I made a vow to my mother." "And you made a vow to Shifu, the Furious Five... me, the Jade Palace, the Valley of Peace and yourself to do what's right." "[Grunts]" "Wha!" "[Groans]" "Fancy boy fight." "[Laughs]" "I never stopped believing in you, Monkey, and I'm not stopping now." "[Laughs]" "[Snap] [Growls]" "[Wood creaks]" "Wa!" " Ha!" " Ya!" "[Thud] [Smack]" "[Crack]" "Oof!" "Look, someone's up at the mill!" "Come on." "Hwa!" "[Punches whip through air]" "[Slam]" "Monkey, don't make me..." "[Clang]" "Who's the chump now, chump?" "[Laughs]" "Po!" "Don't worry, I'd never let my little brother take the blame for me." "We'll frame the Panda instead." "[Coins jingle]" "[Mob grumbles angrily]" "Come on, bro, let's blow." "[Door groans open]" "Hey!" "I can't let you do this to my friend." "Yeah, right." "You won't fight me." "You're the good one." "And I'm the only family you have." "Wrong, Wukong." "Po's my family too." "How noble." "And boring!" "Let's make this more interesting." " [Thud]" " Oof!" "Po!" "[Squish]" "[Grunts]" " Ya!" " Ooh!" "Hiya!" "[Smack] Hiya!" "Ugh." "[Crash]" "[Kung fu fighting]" "[Bash] [Mob yells]" "Oof!" "You could never beat me." "I always had the moves on you." "I've been practicing a little since then." "[Chains jingle]" " [Smack] - [Screams]" "[Yells]" "[Chain clatters]" "[Chain scrapes and sparks]" "Monkey!" "[Grunts]" "[Grunts]" "[Grunts]" "[Grunts]" "[Wood groans] [Chain shatters]" "[Screams]" "Hold on, bro!" "[Strains]" "[Wood cracks]" "[Grunts]" "[Wood rumbling and clattering]" "[Mob screams]" "[Groans] Monkey, I'm sorry." "You could have been..." "I stink as a brother." "Yeah, you do." "But you did stay to save Monkey." "There you go, pal." "Thanks, brother." "I see him, there he is!" "[Mob yells]" "Stop!" "He's not the thief." "I am." "[Mob gasps]" "Dad, mob, put down your weapons." "Wukong is ready to take full responsibility for what he did." "That's right." "For my brother." "There's only one thing I'd like to say in my defense." "What's that?" "Is that a giant rice ball?" "Where?" "!" "[Pants snap]" "Oof!" "Ooh!" "[Laughs]" "Wukong!" "That's Wukong, king of thieves!" "So long, losers!" "[Laughs]" "Blazing butt chop." "[Coughs] I fall for it every time." "How's the cleanup going?" "[Coughs]" "Fine, I'd say it's worth it." "No, it's not." "I smell all painty." "My fur's sticky." "Nevertheless, I'm proud of you both." "You stopped the crime wave, and your right actions may help Wukong truly reform one day." "Yeah, well, I just hope I never see another crazy, thieving, practical joke playing Monkey again." "Po, rice ball!" "Look, I'm not falling for that ag... oh, well, what do you know?" "Monkey..." "[Splash]" "Nice one, bro." "[Laughs]"