"MRS. NOW AND THEN" "That's what I like about Nyhavn." "Everyone here's Japanese." " I can eat without being recognized." " You're not that famous." "I'm becoming more and more famous." "It's stupid to eat now, when we're having dinner at my parents'." " It's just a snack." " A giant sausage like that?" "It's nothing." "You have ugly table manners, do you know that?" "Stop that, Frank." "Stop it, I said!" "More gravy, Frank, dear?" " It's really good." " There's a bit of red wine in it." " Isn't Dad coming?" " Yes, yes." "He's..." " There's butter and cream in, right?" " Oh, yes." "It's best if it sticks to the potatoes." "Don't you agree?" " Frank has begun to eat like a pig." " No, he hasn't." "That's rubbish." " Look how nicely he's eating." " That's right, Pyker." " Hi, Ole." " Hi." " Hi." " I'll go up and have a shower." " Why does he need a shower now?" " He's been out all day." "There's nothing wrong with that." " Casper's in hospital." " Is he?" ""Casper has admitted himself to Psychiatric." "Regards, Iben. "" "How can you send something like that as a text message?" " She's probably freaked out." " She could've called me anyway." "Concentrate on helping him instead." "You've got something on your lips." "Wipe your mouth." "Come here." "If Pyker had died, for example, I would tell you face to face." " Don't talk about that!" " I'm just telling you what I'd do." " I need a cuddle." " Not right now, Frank." " Can't we go upstairs?" " No." "Not when my parents are here." " Just a quickie." "Eh?" " No." " Don't do that." " You're not normally afraid of it." " Good... good morning." " Hi." "Good morning." " Are you done, Mia?" " Yes, Mum." "It's nothing." " I can go outside, if you want." " Stop it, Mum." "It's quite alright." "I don't want to interrupt you." " I'm going to work anyway." " What are you talking about?" "About the fact that there has to be room for all four of us." " Maybe we need some arrangements." " What kind of arrangements?" " For shagging, I mean." " No, we don't." " You need to make love..." " Let's close the subject." " Bye." " Have a good day." "Hello." "I'm here to visit Casper Christensen." " He's in ward 10." " Hi, Iben." " What a place, eh?" " Yeah." "Well, now he's here." " I'm glad you got my message." " Thanks for the text." "I would have preferred it if you'd called me." "Text messages are for less important things." "I had 50 people to call, so I couldn't be bothered." "I wrote a group message instead." "Next time please use anything but a text message." "A paper aeroplane, you mean, or a note under your chair..?" " A postcard, if nothing else." " Yeah, okay." "Whatever." " Look, Frank's here." " Yeah." "Hi, Casper." " I'm going to leave now, then." " I don't want to be alone." "No..." "But I've been here for several hours now." " So have I." " Yes, but you're staying here." " And I'm here." " Yeah, Frank's here." " He'll stay here with you." " We'll hang out." " You'll stay here with Frank, right?" " Yeah." " Bye, honey." " Bye, Iben." " Frank's here, okay?" " Yes, yes." "How's it going?" "Bloody awful, I guess." "It's heavy, Frank." "It hurts." "But that's just the way it is." "I don't like to be alone, and..." "Hi, honey." "I'm with Casper." "Now?" "Yeah, I'd love to." "How long have we got?" "Great, honey." " Was that Mia?" " Yeah." "It's a case of force majeure." "Her parents have gone to the opera." "Mia is alone in the house, and we haven't had sex for ages." "Well, Mia can handle being alone." "Yeah, but when her parents return I won't get to bang her." " I have to play the pussy trump." " I can't be alone here." " Look at this place." " I'm gagging for it." "Are you going to play a pussy trump on this?" "Do you mean that?" "I can't argue with a pussy trump." "But think about it, Frank." " You've only got three pussy trumps." " Well, you know..." "What?" "Damn it!" "Come on, come on..." "Do you need a hand?" "Well, if you could push." "Excellent." "I really appreciate it." "Yeah." "Come on!" " Try again." " Yeah, okay." " We need more speed." " Maybe we should swap." " You push, and I drive." " Do you know how to drive a Volvo?" "Yeah, no problem." "Just depress the clutch and put it in first gear." "Give it all you've got." "Yes, yes!" "Just turn it... yeah." "Hey... hey!" "Hey!" "Come back!" " Right." "It's ready now." " Okay." " Thanks a lot." " You're welcome." "What the hell?" "Oh boy..." "Now we're talking." " Frank, what happened?" " The fuse must have blown." "Go down and change it." "I want to finish this." " Where's the fuse box?" " In the basement." "You really turned me on, baby." "Here we are." ""Dear Ole, thank you for last time." "I love our intense meetings."" ""You were a most seductive sheik." "I look forward to our next adventure."" ""Love, your Edith."" "Edith?" "Bloody hell..." "I couldn't find it, honey." " Let's drop it, then." " What?" "I'm completely turned off now." " Right." "At last..." " They must have gone to bed." "We're in the lounge, Mum." " It's dark in here." " Hi." " Are you sitting here in the dark?" " The fuse has blown." " Right." "I'll look in the basement." " What did I tell you?" " Well, I couldn't find it." " Couldn't you find it, Frank?" "I told him to look in the basement, but he couldn't find it." " Why couldn't you find it?" " It's a big basement, Pyker." "Here we go!" " What have you been up to?" " We've just been sitting here." " You enjoyed the darkness, eh?" " Stop it, Mum." "Those aren't my underpants." "You better take them, Frank." "So you finally succeeded, eh?" "That's wonderful, Mia." "At last..!" " Hello there." " Hello, yourself." "I thought we had a deal that you would stay   and take Casper out to lunch." "And then you just left?" "Well..." "We had an accident at home." "You went home to shag Mia, and you call that an accident?" " I don't think Mia would like that." " You're right." "We had to do it." "Your best friend is feeling down and sick." "You were supposed to look after him, and then you just left?" " We talked about it, and..." " No, you didn't." "You just left." "He was breaking down." "He doesn't know anybody here." " Why did you let me go, then?" " You played the pussy trump." " Well, nothing happened." " It's still a pussy trump." "Please keep me out of this." "I'm going." " I bought some postcards for you." " For me?" " To send instead of a text message." " That's not funny." " You laughed about it last time." " Bye, bye." "Why the hell d id you tell her that I went home to bang Mia?" " Because I'm sick." " You can still lie." "That's mean." " And it's still a pussy trump." " Let's go and have lunch." "I need some advice, by the way." "I found out that Ole is having an affair." " Should I tell Mia?" " No!" "Why would you do that?" " It's her dad." " So what?" "Let the guy have some fun." "Do you want people to tell on you?" " Don't say a word." " Okay." "I'll leave it, then." "Did you know that you're on a postcard?" "Have you seen this?" "It's you." "Look..." "It's you, isn't it?" "Look at you with that sausage." "You look like you're sucking a cock." " I don't believe it." " You're giving a sausage a blowjob." "Haven't I taught you that when you're out in public   you should never do anything that might look gay?" "And then you give it a blowjob." ""Dear Grandma, love from Denmark." "Here's Frank Hvam sucking cock."" "We'll go past Wonderful Copenhagen on the way." "Come on." " It doesn't matter, Frank." " Yes, it does." "Hi." "Can I help you?" "I've found myself on a postcard." "It looks as if I'm..." " Well, it looks pretty vulgar." " Yes, I can see that." " Do you think it's funny?" " No, no." "Not at all." "You need to talk to Michael in Marketing." "It's down the hall, up the stairs, and then the third door on the left." " She said up the stairs, right?" " I wasn't listening." "I don't want to walk anymore." "Where is it?" " This is a canteen..." " Did she say right or left?" "Let's go and eat, Frank." "I need a beer." "We can't find it." "We can't even find the exit." " Let's go." "I want to leave." " This is the copy machine room." " Let's go and eat." "Come on." " No." "We're close now." " Marketing, is that here?" " Yes." " Michael?" " That's me." "I've got a small complaint." "The thing is..." "The thing is, I accidentally got hold of this postcard,   and it turns out I'm on it." "The clown in Nyhavn." "Oh, yes." "What's the problem?" "I'm sitting there, sucking a sausage." "I haven't approved that." "If people are in a public place we don't have to ask permission." " Only if they're recognisable." " Exactly." "You said it." "I don't want that postcard to be printed." "We can't reprint 20,000 postcards, just because you don't like it." "I don't want to be eating a sausage on 20,000 postcards!" " Say sorry, Frank, and let's go." " Why should I say sorry?" " I need something to eat." " Maybe you don't see the problem." "I want Wonderful Copenhagen to retract those postcards." " You can try the legal department." " You bet." "We'll do that." " That's your last sausage photo." " Time will tell." " Frank, this is too stressful." " We'll have a quick word with them." "I'll buy you a huge lunch." "Casper?" "Casper?" "Casper?" "Casper?" "Casper!" "Hi." "I'm the one with the sausage." "I can't find my friend." " Have you seen him?" " He left a moment ago." " How did he look?" " Fine." "He just walked out." "I got a text message from him." "He went home." "The electricity went off again." "What a load of wee-wee." " I'll go down and fix it." " Great, honey." "No..." "Mia, don't look in the fuse box!" "Frank!" "Don't worry so much about it." "I've always been happy that my parents weren't divorced." "Maybe they won't get a divorce." " Well, it's going to hurt." " Yes, of course." "Honey, honey..." " Come here, honey!" " What are you doing?" " Get down!" " What's going on?" "Well, well..." "You're really going at it, eh?" "No, we're not." "What's wrong, darling?" "Hi, Ole." "Something terrible happened." "Mia found your stuff in the fuse box." " She's told Pyker." " Can I get in, please?" "Listen..." "Mia is telling Pyker about your affair right now." "Pyker knows all about it." "It's completely out in the open." "Right." "I told Mia about Mrs. Now and Then." "That's good." "Thank you for breakfast." "I'll go out to Mrs. Now and Then." "See you later." " Why do you put up with it?" " Mind your own business, darling." "Oh, well..." "Ole is getting more pussy these days than I am." "It's true." "Honestly..." "It's good to be here with you." " We don't see each other enough." " Well, we're both busy." " What are you doing?" " They've got the postcard." " Please stay here." " They're doing a sausage impression."