"Are we stealing?" "Not if we say a prayer." "What is it?" "What's the matter?" "Where's Ally?" "Madge, where's Ally?" "She's gone." "She went with the angel." "Ally!" "Ally?" "Ally!" "Ally!" "Oh, god, Mark!" "Where is she?" "I told you, the angel took her up to heaven." "# Who's cooking monsters in the kitchen?" "# Keeps a knife tucked in the garden?" "# Keeps you nervous" "# Like screaming motorcycles?" "# You keep the fire burning" "# I'll keep the water running" "# We'll know it's over when they turn out the lights #" "Whoa!" "Oh!" "OK, no problem." "No harm done." "You're doing good, bud." "Makiwara." "A centuries old martial arts device." "All striking points may be used." "Knees, elbows, feet, hands." "The whole enchilada." "Correct." "Purpose - to train a warrior mentally as well as physically." "Kuma San." "It's a modern twist to record the number of blows landed in a second." "Thank you, Kuma San." "Remember, the whole enchilada." "Mind and body." "The whole enchilada." "Work on it." "One more time." "Your daddy was quick." "Best I ever saw." "You may just have the edge on him." "But?" "Excuse me?" "There's a but coming." "I can tell." "For you, the physical stuff is easy." "It's the rest that's hard." "Like what?" "Like it never lets up for a second." "You think I can't hack it." "I don't know." "Some can't." "Remember, the job has to come first." "That's where the rubber hits the road." "Yeah." "Well, I'm going home to take a shower." "Every single time, Luke." "It's the only way." "# If I could escape, I would" "# But first of all let me say... #" "Hi, there." "What time did you go out?" "I don't know." "Early." "About six?" "I thought I didn't hear you." "Oh, Terry called." "Your test's been confirmed." "He wants to get a lesson in first, so will you call him." "Too much, you know." "College, driving lessons, and all this training." "With Rupert?" "Yes." "Yeah, well, he ought to be careful." "All that exercise." "Not as young as he was." "Don't worry about Galvin." "He doesn't exactly knock himself out." "Here." "No, thanks." "No time." "Make time." "Sorry, I've got to get a shower." "SHOUTING" "Stay away from me, you vultures!" "She's just a child!" "What's the matter with you?" "!" "What was all that about?" "I can't do this, Mark." "First, the police asking questions, and now that lot." "They'll get fed up and go and bother someone else." "They think it's us." "You do know that, don't you?" "Hey, your mum's just upset." "We'll find Ally." "Don't you worry, Princess." "She's with the angel." "The lovely angel took her up to heaven." "Please stop her saying that." "Please stop her saying that!" "Luke, hey!" "Where do we meet you?" "Sorry, you've lost me." "Jamie." "You promised to take him out." "On account of how he thinks you're wonderful." "And it's his birthday." "And your mum and dad have stitched you up again." "Jamie is my little brother, not a stitch-up!" "Yes, he is." "Anyway, I can't." "Sorry." "I have to tell you you're letting down a child." "A small person who strangely hero-worships you." "I am shocked, Luke." "Shocked and saddened." "You can bring him to play at the flat." "And what about your Xbox?" "No, he'll trash it." "He won't." "He trashes everything." "Look, whatever." "Just don't expect me to be around." "I've got things to do." "Course you have." "I know that." "First rule of Fight Club." "Don't worry, I'm cool." "What have we got?" "Little girls." "Ally and Madge Dunelm." "Two go for a walk, but only one comes back." "So how can we help?" "Madge says they saw an angel." "And the angel took her sister up to heaven." "Have you seen something?" "Only the dead." "They're all...just echoes." "But no." "If someone, or something, took Ally, they've left without a trace." "There's nothing here." "So what now?" "Well, I think you and I should go and have a talk with the mother." "You think the girl's still alive?" "If she'd died, I'd know." "There would be an imprint of some kind." "Maybe she was abducted." "There would still be a trace." "Something." "What are you saying?" "That wherever she went, she went willingly." "# Somewhere Over The Rainbow" "You came back." "Have you been in heaven?" "I've been with the lovely angel." "He's called Gilgamel." "Gil..." "Gilgamel." "But you must never say his name." "Can I see him?" "Can I see Gil..." "Please." "No." "He wouldn't want you." "You don't smell right." "I don't understand." "What do you mean, I don't smell right?" "Please!" "Please can I go with him?" "Please can I?" "Madge?" "Madge!" "Who are you talking to?" "Who were you talking to?" "Ally." "I was talking to Ally." "What now?" "Drive around the block." "What's going on here?" "Pardon me, ma'am." "But you look like you could use a little help." "We're like prisoners in our own home." "Oh, god." "I've been had, haven't I?" "You're reporters." "No, ma'am." "I admit we are interested in your story." "But trust me, we are not reporters." "Maybe he did something to Ally." "And then, I suppose, got Madge to tell this story about an angel." "And do you think she made it up?" "I don't know." "But then, I can't believe Ally would just run off with anyone." "If it was Madge, I could understand." "She can be a handful." "She's always up to something." "I found her talking to Ally earlier." "In the garden at home." "Of course, she wasn't there." "There was nobody there." "Can I talk to her?" "You can try." "She won't say anything." "Hey, Madge." "How's it going?" "Your mum said we could have a talk." "Would that be OK?" "I'm Luke." "Listen, can I tell you something?" "What happened to you..." "Well, I know what it's like." "You see something incredible, something really amazing." "But you can't tell anybody." "Or if you do tell, they don't believe you, right?" "What did you see?" "Well..." "I saw this monkey...thing." "Once." "Monkey?" "Anyway, it was kind of scary." "But I bet what you saw was way scarier." "Do you want to tell me about it?" "Mm-mm." "OK." "What about Ally?" "Do you want to talk about Ally?" "Angel sightings are not uncommon." "They're usually associated with a catastrophic event, natural disaster or war." "It says here the most famous example is the Angel of Mons." "Seen by hundreds of troops on the Western Front in World War One." "Sightings are one thing." "But we've been through the records." "And there's no mention of angel abductions." "Nothing." "The little girl didn't say anything?" "She might have done." "I didn't handle it right." "Clutching at straws." "There was no half-life activity at the graveyard, right, Mina?" "I've been right back to Van Helsing in 1642." "Guess what." "No angels." "So what now?" "We just let it go?" "It happens." "I'm sure Madge had something to say." "She was scared." "It wasn't her fault I put her off." "Must be a gift." "This is a judgement call." "It's very sad about little Ally." "But we have to say this is a conventional disappearance." "Meaning?" "Not our department." "Not one for us." "Why me?" "You're good with kids." "You know you are." "They tell you things." "But I don't even know this Midge." "Madge." "Whatever." "What am I supposed to say?" "Ruby, you are witty, resourceful." "You'll think of something." "Is that Pete?" "She won't get anywhere." "Madge can be really stubborn." "Yeah, well, so can Ruby." "Look, Madge." "I'm not going to insult you by saying I'm your friend." "We know it's not true." "You seem very nice, but I don't know you and you don't know me." "I just need to know who's got your sister." "And...you can't tell me?" "OK." "That's cool." "You've got your reasons." "But I really need to know who's got Ally." "So what if... you were to write it down, and I was to just happen to look at it?" "That wouldn't really be telling, would it?" "Do you think you could do that for me, Madge?" "I've got..." "A £2 coin, a sparkly hair slide, and some black nail polish says you could." "Do we have a deal?" "Good." "Gilgamel?" "That's the name." "Sounds weird." "Are you sure?" "Gilgamel." "Trust me." "Brilliant." "Thank you." "I am well impressed." "How did you do it?" "Bribery." "You're kidding?" "Once I figured out that Madge didn't like her sister, the rest was easy." "Kids, eh?" "Little tinkers." "Speaking of which, I expect you're wondering how you could ever repay me." "Me and Jamie have a bit of a transport issue tomorrow." "We need a lift." "You can sort that, can't you?" "Me?" "No." "How?" "I don't have any transport." "Luke, you are witty and resourceful." "You'll think of something." "So, we start again." "Collected works of Julius of Leyden." "Revered ancestor of Abraham Van Helsing." "Somewhere in here I've seen the name Gilgamel." "We've got to find one name." "What do you care?" "It's all in Dutch anyway." "Start looking." "Suppose Madge got it wrong." "She's seven years old, for goodness' sake." "She goes to a very nice school." "Keep looking." "Look at this!" "There, see?" "Faintly." "What does it say?" "Gilgamel...fugite... traveste." "Yeah, it's Dutch." "Latin." "Not Dutch, Latin." "Gilgamel flee the travesty." "Fantastic." "What does that mean?" "No idea." "You asked what it says, not what it means." "Mum!" "Mum!" "Do you want a push?" "Yeah, all right." "Is that your mum?" "Yeah." "She's always yakking." "You smell nice." "Don't stop." "Keep pushing!" "Have you ever seen an angel?" "No." "Would you like to see an angel?" "Abby!" "Abby!" "Abby!" "Will the angel take me up to heaven?" "Yes." "With all the other girls and boys." "What about my mum?" "Be good and you can see the lovely angel." "I want to go back." "No, you don't." "You've been chosen." "You smell just right." "Gilgamel has need of you." "Let me go!" "There's nothing you can do." "See?" "He comes." "His mobile was switched off." "The most important date of his life." "I appreciate that." "DOOR OPENS" "It's a big thing, a driving test." "Oh, he's here." "Oh, the wanderer returns." "Terry, how's it going?" "Are we on, or what?" "I'm up for it." "What time?" "I'll bell you in an hour." "Have your phone on." "Cool." "I'm not waiting around for " "I forgot, OK?" "Perhaps if you left your phone switched on, then people might at least be able to contact you." "Happy?" "I will not call you to share light-hearted banter and discuss the issues of the day." "Or to seek your advice on my social life." "When I call, I give you my word it will be important." "Keep your cell switched on at all times." "Is that clear?" "Yes." "You didn't tell me you had a social life." "I didn't tell you another kid had gone missing either." "Oh yes, it's true." "Patterns emerge." "Nature takes its course." "Be switched on and you will be saved." "Who's there?" "Simeon, I have someone to see you." "Depart this place." "There is nought for your comfort here." "He's like you." "English." "Kind of uptight." "His name's Luke." "Luke Van Helsing." "I never thought to meet another Van Helsing." "Not this side of the grave." "Welcome, my boy." "I knew your father." "Good to meet you, sir." "Simeon doesn't like colonials." "Do you, Simeon?" "He's a real whizz when it comes to obscure entities and half-lives." "I venture you are here for a reason, Luke Van Helsing." "Not merely to view the collection." "Right, yes." "We've been looking for angels." "We think they're stealing children." "We have a name." "Yes, we do." "We have a name." "Gilgamel." "And travesty." "That could be important." "Indeed, then why are we prattling on about angels?" "Gilgamel is not an angel." "He's a demon." "Pure and simple." "A Great Nine entity." "Any fool would know that." "And travesty?" "Travesty." "Or traveste." "The medieval word for a special kind of being." "A demon that can take another form." "Often a benign form." "Something nasty pretending to be something nice." "Show him the parchment." "Mm, ah." "Julius of Leyden." "Poor penmanship." "Wrote with his left hand." "Did he give you this?" "Julius died in 1650." "Hey, I guess time kinda passes you by in here." "Must play havoc with the old memory." "There's nothing wrong with my memory." "I remember this boy's father." "And I remember you." "So I will speak with him." "What I have is for Van Helsing and him alone." "I was kinda hoping that, after all these years, you and I might get on a little, you know." "Let bygones be bygones." "In a phrase close to your colonial heart - dream on!" "I'll see you back at the stacks." "And don't go AWOL on me, Luke." "Hasta luego, Simeon." "Treat that man with caution." "Those closest to you cannot always be trusted." "Now kindly follow." "This is St Anselm." "Depicted carrying the sword of righteousness and the orb of sanctity." "Anselm wrestled with Gilgamel and sadly lost." "Maybe it's like rock, paper, scissors." "Sword beats demon, demon beats orb." "That kind of thing." "Do you have any idea what you are up against?" "Traveste beats demon, demon beats you." "Do you wish to continue?" "I don't think I have a choice." "Denial is not an option." "Very well." "Wait here." "This is St Jude." "You might like a few words." "Will it help?" "Possibly." "He's a patron saint of lost causes." "Luke!" " Not now, Terry." "See you in a bit." "Where shall I pick you up?" " St Jude's, Fettergate." "You what?" "!" "In a pub?" "It's not a pub." "It's a church." "How do I get there?" "Use your satnav, Terry." "Listen " "The sword of righteousness and the orb of sanctity." "Cool." "This is what did it for poor old Anselm." "Gently!" "Gently!" "I don't think we can lay blame upon the orb." "Used correctly, it might have saved his life." "As it may yet save yours." "What do I do with them?" "You will know when the time comes." "And no doubt the colonial will have a plan." "If you don't mind me asking, what is it with you two?" "You seem...tense." "Tense?" "Certainly not." "I am a serious scholar of the half-life." "He is a boorish half-wit whose arrogance is exceeded only by his ignorance." "Take them with my blessing." "They're all I have for you." "Simeon sends his love." "Whatever." "What did he give you?" "The sword of righteousness and the orb of sanctity." "Ring any bells?" "Not sure." "Ring the mobile." "We'll test them." "Not now." "I've got stuff to do." "What could be more important than this?" "Sorry, I've got to go." "He hung up on me!" "That dumb old fool Simeon could have given him anything." "You want some advice?" "Never rely on a teenager." "I'll bear that in mind." "And never trust a zombie." "# Yes, we are going out tonight #" "Why did you make me come to the city?" "You know I don't like the city." "I know." "I'm sorry." "There's something else you're not going to like." "We have to pick up Ruby." "What?" "!" "And her kid brother." "No way." "Absolutely not." "It ain't gonna happen." "Use your mirrors." "Big it up." "The examiner wants to see you looking." "It wasn't my idea." "You've got your whole life to chase girlfriends." "She's not my girlfriend." "So more fool you." "At least get your test first." "# We'll burn" "# This candlelight" "# And if you get cold, I'll just squeeze you tight #" "Thanks, I really appreciate this." "No problem, sweetheart." "Absolute pleasure." "What?" "It doth fume with the odour of sanctity." "Doth it indeed?" "And what, pray, is the odour of sanctity?" "I'm very glad you asked." "The odour of sanctity - that wondrous subtle scent rendered by the innocent and the saintly." "Why does the orb fume with it?" "Good question." "It doesn't say." "Luke, what's this?" "Do not mess with it, Jamie." "What is it?" "I don't know exactly." "But I'm sure you shouldn't be messing with it." "Jamie." "Traveste demons by Gilgamel." "They're attracted by the odour of sanctity." "Like Anselm." "They replicated the scent in order to draw out the travestes into the open." "So the orb is what?" "A sort of generator." "Correct." "Puts out the scent." "Nothing for the average guy but it's rock and roll for the freaks." "They can't get enough." "So if Gilgamel's out there... the orb will pull him in." "Great." "Thank you so much." "No problemo, sweetheart." "You have a great day." "You too, Jamie." "Thank you." "I promise we won't trash the place." "Good luck with the test." "Oi, don't even think about it!" "He's on voicemail." "I told him to not switch his phone off." "I shouldn't have left him on his own." "No." "Now he's walking around with a Grade A freak magnet." "I've seen your provisional licence." "So if you'll just sign here, we'll get started." "Turn it off now, please." "And keep it switched off until we return to the centre and the vehicle is at a complete standstill." "Cabin doors to manual." "Let's get on, shall we?" "Right." "In a moment," "I am going to tap my pencil." "I want you to stop as fast and safely as you can." "Have you got that?" "Yep." "What was that?" "Just something on the back seat." "Sorry." "What are you doing?" "Why did you stop?" "Sorry." "I thought you tapped again." "No, I dropped." "I didn't tap." "Yeah..." "Take it easy." "We've got plenty of time." "What are you doing?" "Sorry." "I thought you might want me to reverse." "If I do, I shall tell you in good time." "There's no need for all this." "Mr Rutherford, please!" "Well, you certainly can control the vehicle." "No-one can accuse you of being unduly hesitant." "Impetuous, perhaps." "Foolhardy, possibly." "Not ideal qualities in a motorist." "So I'm afraid, on this occasion, you have failed to meet the required standard for the practical part of your driving test." "Have a good day, Mr Rutherford." "I can't believe you went missing." "I had my driving test." "And your point is?" "Sorry?" "I gave you a direct order." "Who do you think you are?" "I'm the one doing this goddam job!" "Boys, please!" "He wants me to become the full enchilada when I can't even drive!" "Full enchilada." "I see." "And did you pass?" "I don't really want to talk about it." "Anyway, this really weird thing happened." "We're driving along - You had your phone switched off." "It wasn't my fault!" "Do you want to hear about it?" "Go on, Luke." "The trunk fell on the floor." "And the orb started hissing." "And then this kid appears right in front of the car." "Little girl, about ten years old." "Ally Dunelm." "You're not surprised?" "I was well surprised." "What did you do?" "I freaked." "Good choice." "Next thing, she's on the back seat." "No wonder you failed." "At least you kept hold of the orb." "You don't want to go messing with that little baby." "Are you sure you should be in here?" "Luke lets me." "Are you sure?" "Do you want anything?" "No, I'm good." "Come on, what does it do?" "Travestes like Gilgamel feed on innocents." "That's why he's going after children - to steal their souls." "It's called the gleaning of the innocents." "He's attracted by the odour of sanctity." "The what?" "The smell of saintliness." "We think Ally Dunelm could be following the scent." "The traveste could be using her to target victims." "We're not big on saints these days, but we still have innocent children." "Yeah?" "You should meet Ally's sister." "Or Ruby's brother." "What?" "You got a problem here?" "Have you ever seen an angel?" "Who are you?" "Would you like to see an angel?" "An angel came." "There was a little girl with him." "Luke, they've got Jamie." "See what happens if you don't put the job first?" "Calm down." "Let's think this through." "Assuming it's Ally Dunelm collecting children for Gilgamel, he's probably holding them somewhere." "How do you know?" "He'll take away their souls at one sitting before he goes back to the half-life." "Father Julius called it the gleaning of the innocent." "Don't worry." "We'll find him." "You bet we will." "I'm coming with you." "We can find them, can't we?" "First, there's the small matter of summoning a 2,000-year-old demon and making him tell us where he's got them." "But hey, how hard can that be?" "Give me the orb." "So, when the freakshow starts, we zap the gasoline." "That should hold him here long enough for us to get answers." "Got your pulse gun?" "What about this?" "Oh, great." "A sword." "It's interrogation, not a barbecue." "Simeon gave it to me." "He must have had a reason." "Luke, I know you think Simeon is some kind of great guy." "But this is not the Dark Ages." "Well, it is but..." "You know what I mean." "Come on." "Showtime." "Galvin, it's Jamie!" "Jamie!" "It's a trick!" "It's not him!" "Ruby!" "No, Luke!" "Aaagh!" "Galvin!" "Come here." "Are you all right?" "I'm OK." "I take it you're not here to tell me that Gilgamel has been safely dispersed to the half-life." "No, not exactly." "We sort of lost him." "You lost him?" "Yeah." "And um..." "You know the orb?" "Yes." "How was it after all these years?" "Superb." "It did just what it says on the tin." "Only it got bent." "Impossible." "You cannot bend a sphere." "Well, scrunched, kind of." "So, short of stabbing yourself with the sword of righteousness, you've made a complete porridge of the whole thing, haven't you?" "That's another thing." "We didn't actually use the sword." "Galvin thought pulse guns might be better." "Typical colonial." "Totally unreliable." "He got hurt." "Need I say more?" "Give me the sword." "He doesn't look too good." "Don't worry about me." "Just worry about whether Simeon's got a decent idea in his head." "Did you never stop to wonder why Anselm's sword was depicted as flaming?" "Long before there were these wretched pulse guns." "This sword was forged to deal with entities like Gilgamel." "It's going to be a bit conspicuous." "Wandering around with a red-hot sword." "Don't be obtuse." "It forms a perfect shield and thus will hold its heat for many hours." "I'm impressed." "So you should be." "Now I suppose, you want me to find this lost demon of yours." "Simeon reckons this demon spent so long in the half-life," "London will be totally different and he'll head for a place he feels comfortable with." "St Anselm Without." "Without any sense, if you live round here." "I imagine it meant without the city walls." "Why this place?" "This is where Gilgamel slew poor old Anselm." "His last smiter." "Great." "Thanks for that, Mina." "Are you OK?" "I've come this far." "They're there!" "Ruby, come on!" "Jamie!" "Jamie!" "Jamie, are you OK?" "Jamie!" "Jamie, are you OK?" "Are you OK?" "Galvin." "Come on." "Hurry up!" "Hurry up!" "Get the kids out!" "Go!" "Go!" "Quick!" "Run!" "Run!" "Run!" "Come on, run!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "Aaagh!" "Gilgamel, I know thee, demon." "Return to the half-life." "And never come back." "Turn and face me!" "Or I will most surely smite thee." "Aaagh!" "Has he gone?" "Looks like it." "Thanks, Mina." "That's OK." "I think you'll find I'm usually pretty good in the dark." "Is he dead?" "Good." "Get me outta here!" "Thanks, Luke." "Do you like it?" "It's brilliant!" "Thanks for doing this, Mum." "A pleasure." "They're a lovely family." "Has Ruby known them for long?" "No." "Not long." "Galvin." "OK." "Going out?" "Yeah." "For a bit." "I have to." "Is that OK?" "Yeah." "Of course." "Do what you like." "Do you need anything?" "You could tell me what's going on." "# Over the rainbow #" "You're getting more and more like him." "Your dad." "He never let me in." "Love of my life." "I never knew what he was thinking." "# ..dare to dream" "# They really do come true" "# Some day I wish upon a star" "# And I wake up" "# Where the clouds are far behind me #" "How are you feeling?" "I brought you some grapes." "Makiwara training came in useful." "Is that it?" "Is that all I get?" "You think I'm going to fall over you because you torched a freak?" "Forget about it." "That is who you are." "It's why you're here." "You damn near jeopardised the whole mission." "I had a driving test." "You failed the driving test." "And you put a kid's life in danger." "Mum thinks I'm getting more like my dad." "Believe me, you got a long way to go." "Tell me something." "Why does Simeon hate you?" "Is that something to do with my dad?" "Did he tell you that?" "No." "He just said you weren't to be trusted." "And this is from a guy who still thinks it's the 17th century." "I was going to ask you about that." "Is he actually Alive?" "Simeon?" "Well..." "He has been." "Recently?" "Maybe not that recently." "And he liked my dad." "But he doesn't like you." "Enough!" "He's a crazy old zombie who lives in a church." "Who cares what he likes?" "You've got serious thinking to do." "I don't want to see you again until you're 100%." "Now get out of here." "Oh, Luke." "Leave the grapes." "Who sent you?" "T-Tibbs." "What did you say?" "Tibbs or something." "Mr Tibbs is the half-life that killed Galvin's wife." "So what's his quirk?" "Psychopath." "I'm going to kill him." "You should be freaked out." "Your luck is going to run out eventually." "You should jump ship before it does." "Mina!" "There won't be anyone left to catch." "Shame." "Oh, dear." "transcript:chocolate sync:innuit"