"WOMAN:" "Dear Diary," "It was a Saturday, the 3rd of September, that the world as I had known was forever doomed." "The shadows that had sheltered me were banished by the blinding light of scrutiny." "I knew I was about to enter the gates of Hell." "But like the inescapable pull of gravity, there was nothing I could do about it." "(insects trilling)" "(dog barking, rooster crowing in distance)" "(pop music playing faintly)" "♪ Doo-da-doo, doo-da-doo ♪" "♪ Doo-da-doo-a-loo-a-loo, doo-da-doo...♪" "(engine turns off, music stops)" "Mrs. Tattler?" "Mrs. Tattler, it's Bill Palmer." "Your milkman." "Mrs. Tattler?" "(clock ticking)" "(shuddering breaths)" "Oh, sweet Jesus!" "(clock cuckooing)" "(thumping upstairs)" "(stairs creak)" "(eerie, indistinct whispering)" "(whispering stops)" "(gasps)" "(screams)" "Straight to the operating suite!" "(retching)" "One bladder." "Three kidneys-- two on the left and one on the right." "Nurse?" "Are you writing this down?" "Yes, Doctor." "Four lungs." "Two hearts with a shared circulatory system." "WOMAN:" ""The victim, 63-year old" ""Eudora Tattler, was thought" ""by neighbors to have lived alone." ""The unfortunate creature discovered at the crime scene," ""who witnesses are describing as 'monstrously deformed,' may be a relation, sources say."" "I don't blame the old lady for keeping it hidden." "If I gave birth to something like that," "I'd drown it in the bathtub first thing." "Penny, that's terrible." "You better not let Miss Kilgreen hear you talking like that." "Or catch you wearing red lips on the floor." "She's already got it in for you." "I have rounds." "Can I help you?" "I have come to visit my poor ailing aunt." "But..." "I have trouble navigating your halls." "Um, you're not supposed to smoke in this wing, ma'am." "Oh, it's fine." "It's Lucky Strike." "It's good for you." "Here." "Have one." "Go ahead." "Go ahead, try it." "So, tell me, my peppermint angel." "(chuckles)" "I could not help but see a police officer sitting outside one of the doors." "Yeah." "That's on account of what's in there." "And what is in there?" "I read in the papers that something quite extraordinary was brought in here." ""Extraordinary"?" "I guess to the bumpkins in this town maybe." "I take it you're not fond of the sleepy little hamlet of Jupiter." "So, to fill the idle hours, you volunteer here?" "Hell, my mom made me." "It was this or reform school." "Oh... you are young and full of life." "You should not be surrounded by death and disease." "(speaks German)" "Life is to be lived." "You said it, sister." "(laughs) Here." "I know what a girl like you needs." ""Fraulein Elsa's Cabinet of Curiosities."" "What is it?" "Only by entering will you learn its secrets." "Whoa, miss." "You don't want to go in there, believe me." "Will I find a monster?" "That's what the papers are saying, Officer Pipes." "Papers ain't lying." "All the more reason to allow in just a touch of human kindness." "Don't you agree?" "(door creaks)" "♪ ♪" "(gasps)" "Oh... (quietly speaking German)" "(gasps)" "(both gasp)" "I don't know you." "What pretty girls you are." "And so fortunate to have a sister." "Downloaded from G2G.fm" "You will need something to wear when you leave here." "I will be honest." "It was quite eerie out there." "At your farmhouse." "Violence lingers in the air..." "Why is she being so nice to us?" "She wants something." "You know they called you dim-witted in the newspapers, because you don't speak." "But someone reads." "And my intuition tells me it wasn't your dear departed mom." "Betty Grable is my favorite." "There's a bit of Betty about you." "Sensual lips." "That sassy smile." "I've had a long, complicated love affair with show business myself, you know?" "Have you ever met Betty?" "Our paths nearly crossed." "But fate intervened." "When we lived in Alabama," "I saw her in Tin Pan Alley." "Shut up!" "What's wrong with you?" "Anyway." "Let's have a look at you, lefty, hmm?" "You're no Betty Grable." "But... you do remind one of Jean Arthur." "(coughs)" "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" "Either of you?" "I must confess:" "One of your doctors... shared your X-ray reports with me." "It says you have two hearts." "But... only one reproductive system." "(quiet chuckle)" "Complicated, no?" "Ah, tell me." "Has anyone tasted your cherry pie?" "Oh, dear God-- she's a psycho pervert!" "She's down to earth is all." "So, you're virgins?" "Sad for you." "But do you at least pleasure yourselves?" "She never wants that." "I hate you." "If I touch myself, she closes her eyes and pretends she doesn't feel anything." "She told me she leaves her body." "I think she's lying." "I think she likes it." "Oh, shut your disgusting mouth, you slut!" "And you... get out of this room." "Yeah." "You rest now." "But I'll be back." "I never give up on a friend." "Meine liebchen." "(door closes)" "(kissing, passionate moaning)" "(laughs)" "(moans, laughs)" "No, no, no." "Don't stop." "Come on, I want to do it." "We can't afford a baby." "Well, I stole two rubbers from Drucker's because" "I just can't get enough of you." "I have something for you, too." "It's in my car." "Stay here." "(laughs)" "Okay." "(gasps)" "Um... who are you?" "(gasps) Oh, oh." "Oh, for me." "Oh, okay." "Thank you." "(laughs anxiously)" "What-what happened to the rest of your mask?" "Who the hell is this?" "Wait, y-you didn't hire him?" "Troy...?" "Troy?" "BONNIE:" "No!" "(panting)" "(slicing)" "(wheezing, maniacal laughter)" "No!" "No!" "(panting)" "(raspy panting)" "No!" "♪ Look good in your short shorts ♪" "♪ Down at the beach ♪" "♪ I really go for your tan ♪" "♪ Down at the beach ♪" "♪ Well, now, let's get down and dirty... ♪" "♪ Down at the beach... ♪" "Clipping coupons?" "(chuckles) It's a review for Stage Fright." "Dietrich's new film." "Clearly Mr. Hitchcock had some kind of mental break when he cast her in this picture." "Look, look at all of them." "Here." "This one is from The Garden of Allah, calling her box office poison." "They paid her $200,000 to take a hot shit on that movie." "I-I don't get to the movies much." "(tapping cup) Refill." "Refill!" "(giggling)" "(muttering in German)" "JIMMY:" "I'm serious." "(giggling continues)" "I'm serious." "I'm serious, I'm not kidding, okay?" "I can ride a motor bike like the wind." "Yes..." "What are you doing after work?" "I can take you, if you're lucky." "Okay." "Yeah." "Done deal." "We'll go around the block a couple times." "A couple times?" "Yeah." "That'd be fun." "Maybe you come check out my place." "Why don't you just take me home?" "Home?" "Yeah, that's great." "Mm-hmm." "Fancy meeting you here." "I can't seem to get this thing to work." "Would you try?" "Is this your mom?" "(chuckles) Hit the road, toots." "You selfish good-for-nothing!" "I find us this place that can be a home, where we can expand our show, build an audience, become a destination, and you would risk it all for some floozy?" "I heard what the landlord said." "They don't want us here anymore." "You're living in your own dream, Elsa." "Now, be careful with these, Ma Petite." "I only have two pair left." "Okay, Miss Elsa." "They're so pretty." "They are so pretty, just like you." "Now, fold for Mama." "Where were we, Herr Haddonfield?" "No offense, Miss Elsa, but I lost four toes to frostbite in the Ardennes in the winter of '44." "It's Mr. Haddonfield, not "Herr."" "You Americans are so sensitive." "You won the war." "I'm going to need you and your troupe to vacate the field." "But you gave us a year's lease!" "We've barely been here two months!" "No one's been coming to your shows, Miss Elsa." "Yes, but I'm scouting new acts." "There's a change in the air." "I admire your spirit, Miss Elsa, I do, but there's a revival coming down from Georgia next week... preacher wants to plant his tent right here." "And he pays in advance." "In cash." "Hmph." "If it were up to me, I'd... (sighs)" "My wife doesn't like having the freaks staying in the field." "She's having nightmares." "My monsters wouldn't hurt a fly!" "So pretty, huh?" "Made in Belgium." "Just for me." "(inhales, sighs)" "You know," "Mr. Haddonfield... you were our savior." "(chuckles)" "I think I have a bottle of Schnapps." "Perhaps you would like to come in and see the inside of a star's palace?" "Hmm?" "JIMMY:" "I still can't figure out how you got another month out of him." "Mind your business." "What, do you think all your charm is going to make that girl blind to your deformities?" "Huh?" "What happens when she sees you?" "All of you?" "(chuckles)" "You know where you're going to end up." "Where they send indigent freaks-- the state mad house." "And what about your mother?" "Huh?" "You want her to die drooling in some hideous asylum?" "We both know that's probably where she's headed anyway... where we're all headed." "It's over, Elsa!" "You're wrong!" "Things are going to change." "I have a plan." "WAITRESS:" "You mind closing out your check now?" "I'm going on break." "Oh, darling, it's on the house." "Stars never pay." "(women laughing)" "WOMAN:" "It was once a day." "Now it's only once a week." "JOANNE:" "Once a week?" "I'm lucky if it happens once a year." "It's a wonder Eddie Jr." "was conceived at all." "Every Thursday night at 9:00 p.m., he turns on Dragnet and climbs on top of me." "He hasn't been the same since Korea." "(woman laughs)" "♪ Just like a torch, you set the soul within me burning ♪" "♪ I must go on ♪" "♪ I'm on this road of no returning ♪" "♪ And though it burns me and it turns me into ashes ♪" "♪ My whole world crashes ♪ It's your turn, Myrna." "♪ Without your kiss of fire... ♪" "Where did you... find it?" "I took in that new roadside attraction." "Wandered into an empty tent, and the real show began." "(chuckles)" "Oh, don't be afraid." "Oh, you'll be so relaxed after." "♪ If I'm a slave, then it's a slave I want to be ♪" "♪ Don't pity me ♪ Gather round, ladies!" "♪ Don't pity me... ♪ Now, I'm not much of a public speaker, but this new product is a lifesaver for the American housewife." "If you're very quiet, you can hear a burp." "(plastic lid pops) (chuckles) You hear that?" "That is the patented seal of freshness." "And it comes in all these wonderful colors." "These lovely pastels like I know y'all love to wear." "♪ Your kiss of fire... ♪" "(woman continues indistinctly)" "Don't worry..." "I don't bite." "♪ If I'm a slave, then it's a slave I want to be ♪" "Come here, baby." "♪ Give me your lips ♪" "♪ The lips you only let me borrow ♪" "♪ Love me tonight and let the devil take tomorrow ♪" "♪ I know that I must have your kiss ♪" "♪ Although it dooms me ♪" "♪ Love, it consumes me ♪" "(sighs)" "(breathlessly):" "Oh, yes... ♪ Your kiss ♪" "Oh, yes!" "♪ Of fire. ♪" "(moaning, gasping)" "Oh, yes." "Oh... oh, yes!" "BETTE:" "What do you suppose the police will ask us when they come?" "They'll want to hear about everything what happened." "You know, we didn't really see much." "DOT:" "Let me do the talking." "What did you see?" "Tell me about your terrible tragedy." "It was a robbery gone bad." "I'm sure the man was enraged when he found we had nothing to steal." "It was a moonless night." "Bette was asleep, but something woke me." "I heard footsteps." "(gasps)" "(stabbing, slicing)" "So you saw just that one man?" "He had on a fedora." "A black fedora, and he reeked of Aqua Velva." "DOT:" "Stop talking." "It was terrible." "First he strangled Mama with her own necklace while she was doing needlepoint." "DOT:" "Shut up, Bette!" "Very interesting." "That would make a terrifying movie." "If it hadn't already been done." "What are you talking about?" "The original Gaslight." ""Strangled by her own necklace while she was doing needlepoint."" "Bette, if you are going to talk, make sure what comes out of your mouth is more than just a regurgitated plot." "BETTE:" "She knows." "And, Dot, even I am aware that your mother died two days before you were found with fresh wounds." "You two should try harder to get your story straight... before the coppers show up." "RADIO ANNOUNCER:" "We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news." "Jupiter Police have confirmed the identity of the two bodies found murdered in their home in the quiet enclave of Bridgewater." "Jeffrey and Mildred Bachman had been dead for at least a week before neighbors made the horrific discovery." "(heavy breathing)" "(screaming)" "Neighbors described the brutal scene as, and I quote, "a blood bath."" "Corey Bachman, the couple's eight-year-old son, remains missing." "(screaming)" "This recent discovery, the killing of Troy Miller and the abduction of Bonnie Lipton, along with the death of Eudora Tattler, bring to four the number of shocking murders that have terrified the residents of our peaceful hamlet in the past two weeks." "Although police have not yet confirmed a connection, the grim fact that a similar weapon was involved in all four killings leads this reporter to conclude a single maniac is preying upon the citizens of Jupiter township." "One can only hope that, when justice comes, it will be swift and final." "(quietly):" "Hey." "Hey, come here." "Here." "We should both eat." "There you go, take that." "Don't worry." "Somebody will find us." "Your parents are never going to stop looking for you." "I think he killed my parents." "(door creaks open) (gasps)" "(winding gears)" "(music box plays gentle melody)" "BONNIE:" "Oh, clown, you're... you're so talented." "Please, release us, so we can tell the world." "Please?" "(clown chuckling)" "(whimpering)" "(jingling)" "(jingling loudly)" "(whimpering)" "(squeaking)" "(pops)" "(gasping)" "(panting)" "(whimpering):" "No." "(screaming)" "(screaming continues)" "(screaming, crashing continue)" "I like this one." "It's trashy." "Drop it." "You're so mean." "We have to go." "Go where, meine liebe?" "I went to the hospital." "They said you had disappeared into the shadows." "I saw men there asking about you." "Detectives." "We're not afraid of the police." "No?" "Have you seen the papers?" "A spree, they are calling it." "A murderous tear started by... you?" "But it isn't true." ""Old Sparky."" "That's what they call the electric chair at Florida State Prison." "Even if only one of you is found guilty, the other one will go with her to the chair." "Unless... they separate you first." "Leave her alone." "Oh..." "Trying to protect your sister?" "You couldn't protect your mother." "BETTE:" "Singin' in the Rain is playing at the Majestic in West Palm." "Please take us, Mother." "We can sneak in after it starts." "It'll be dark." "No one will see us." "Bette," "I won't have any more of this foolishness." "What do you think would become of our lives if people round here learned what lived on this farm?" "What are our lives now?" "It's a prison." "You're too young to remember what happened in Alabama." "Why we had to leave in the dead of night." "I want to see the movie." "I want to see it now!" "In glorious Technicolor." "I said that's enough!" "You can't keep us here." "It's not right." "It's not right!" "She didn't know what she was doing." "No, but you did." "You could have stopped her, and you didn't." "DOT:" "Bette, what have you done?" "BETTE:" "It's not right!" "DOT:" "Bette!" "Stop!" "It's not right!" "You are both guilty." "Perhaps you even more so, Dot." "After all, wasn't it you who then stabbed your sister?" "You were punishing her." "Not for her crime, but for your own." "What do you want?" "To save you." "Oh." "To save you." "Save you." "Of course." "BETTE:" "Dear Diary, it was the glorious third of September when I was finally freed from the shadows." "The future had never seemed brighter." "Let's hope they start bringing in some paying customers, huh?" "♪ ♪" "BETTE:" "Dear Diary," "I have seen my future." "It is pink and wrapped in silk." "I never thought my escape from darkness could be so complete." "I found myself in the middle of a movie star's palace." "Elsa's tent is the epitome of glamour." "There is only one law here-- the bigger the star, the bigger the tent." "Glorious freedom." "For the first time in my life," "I dare to imagine myself surrounded by beauty." "DOT:" "Dear Diary, my soul plumbs new depths of despair." "I long for the quiet of the farm." "The warmth of my bed, the smell of flowers outside my window." "I'm surrounded by a cesspool of activity." "No words can do justice to the depravity that permeates the grounds." "A creature they call "Meep the Geek" chews off the heads of living things for sport and amusement, darkening further the edges of my nightmares." "Hey, don't be scared." "Meep just got a little excited." "It's not every day he comes across two beauties in one body." "Hi." "I'm Jimmy." "Jimmy Darling." "DOT:" "Though even in the darkest of night the promise of dawn beckons." "Perhaps worst of all is a bearded lady named Ethel, who serves as Elsa's henchwoman, the sasquatch champion of law and order in this hellish sty." "You heard me right, Diary." "A lady with a beard." "She won't let me eat." "Stop this foolishness, Dot." "You need your strength to perform." "I'm gonna sit here and watch you eat that entire bowl." "And you-- if you try to stop her," "I'm gonna slap your ass silly into next week, swear to God." "You ungrateful little bitch." "After all Elsa's done for you." "She rescues the wretched and unloved and gives them a home." "That's what she did for you." "That's what she did for me." "She did?" "I'd fallen on hard times, developed a taste for rye whiskey." "And I wound up in the drunk tank." "ETHEL:" "That's where Elsa found me." "She reunited me with my boy." "Best of all, she put me back on the stage." "Where I belong." "It's your turn now." "You're gonna be big stars." "You're gonna pack that tent, night after night." "The hell we will." "We're nobody's trained monkey." "Don't you get it?" "This place is as good as it gets for folks like us." "It's the bitter end." "But we take care of each other." "That's why Elsa brought you here-- be our headline act." "Good God Almighty, I hope you got talent." "Right now, you're our only hope we got." "So eat up!" "Up two inches on your side, Evie." "Okeydokey, but we're out in the sticks." "And this sign is rinky-dink." "You think everything's rinky-dink." "I don't like this, Jimmy." "I don't like this at all." "Cops already been snooping around once." "And now you say they're looking for these two?" "Should we really be putting up a banner?" "Whole thing gives me an itch." "What if we get raided?" "JIMMY:" "You're not worried?" "(scoffs) Why should I be?" "I survived the Stasi." "I think I can deal with the simpletons of the Jupiter Police Department." "I'll tell them the twins have been with us a month." "It was only when they went back to check on their darling mother that they were attacked." "You worry about the banner," "I'll take care of everything else." "I really hope Elsa knows what she's doing." "You got to look on the sunny side." "(tires squealing)" "It's the freaks." "It's the freaks." "It's the freaks." "Freaks!" "Freaks!" "Freaks!" "Assholes!" "Hey!" "Come say it to my face!" "Relax." "I tell you, sometimes I can't take it." "The way they look at us." "The way they treat us." "It ain't right." "That's showbiz." "Would you like some help with that?" "Not on your life." "I'm glad to see you taking time to enjoy yourself." "You spoil me, my darling." "I got to get the hell out of here." "This place is a snake pit!" "I got to get back to my life, my family, my church, my people!" "The opium does that to you." "Leaves you in a cranky mood when you smoke too much." "But I agree." "You should go home now, before you become addicted." "Ethel, will you fetch her candy striper uniform?" "We even washed it for you." "(speaks German)" "Remember, when you leave here, you say nothing about your time with us." "Are you nuts?" "I was drugged, ravaged." "Everyone needs to know what goes on out here-- the real freak show!" "Oh, no, my darling." "You are confused." "You liked it here with us." "No." "No." "You loved it." "♪ ♪" "Do you see anyone being ravaged or tortured against her will?" "Huh?" "Looks to me like a young woman who is taking her own pleasure for the very first time." "(whimpering)" "I liked it." "I liked it." "I can still feel them." "All over me." "Inside me." "(sighs, chuckles)" "ELSA:" "Now, now." "There's nothing to be ashamed of." "I'm gonna tell." "They're depraved monsters!" "I'll tell you who the monsters are!" "The people outside this tent!" "In your town, in all these little towns." "Housewives pinched with bitterness, stupefied with boredom as they doze off in front of their laundry detergent commercials, and dream of strange, erotic pleasures." "They have no souls." "My monsters, the ones you call depraved, they are the beautiful, heroic ones." "They offer their oddity to the world." "They provide a laugh, or a fright, to people in need of entertainment." "Everyone is living the life they chose." "But you... you undoubtedly... will be one of those soulless monsters." "Perhaps you already are." "Miss Elsa, Miss Elsa!" "A chauffeur in a big car came and bought out the whole show tonight!" "(laughing):" "No!" "What did your Fraulein Elsa tell you?" "I knew it would work." "That banner is bringing them in." "Those twins, they are going to save us." "You see, peppermint girl?" "Everything works out." "Looks like my pipe will stay nice and full should you hear a siren's call." "ETHEL:" "$18, that's all?" "(laughs) One of them finished so fast," "I felt bad charging at normal price." "Well, nice doesn't pay the bills." "Nobody saw you leave, did they?" "Nope." "Left through the back door." "Mama, I'm tired of leaving through back doors, like a common criminal." "We deserve a better life." "We all do." "We could leave this place." "Absolutely not." "Elsa's doing the best she can." "Times are tough." "Thanks to Red Skelton and Lucille Ball, folks are getting their jollies at home now." "We got to stick together." "These are our people." "Our people are a bunch of drunks." "Carnies drown their sorrows in a little hooch-- so what?" "So what?" "!" "They have programs for people like that now." "Support groups." "I can get them help." "A clean start." "We can get out of this dump." "You watch your mouth." "I've had it!" "I want out!" "There's got to be a place somewhere, anywhere!" "We could buy a tract of land on the cheap." "We could plant crops, live off the land." "What, so now you're Moses leading the Israelites?" "Well, why not?" "I want a normal life." "There is no normal for us, Jimmy." "You want to be a hero, you go talk to those twins." "Make 'em eat." "Make 'em like it here." "But no flipper action." "BETTE:" "No." "No, get away." "Get away, get away!" "No, get away, get away, get away!" "JIMMY:" "What's going on here?" "I gotta thank you." "That sign you freaks put up helped me find my two main suspects." "Bette and Dot Tattler, you're under arrest for murder." "That hurts." "It's too tight." "Now, just hold on a second, Detective." "Bette and Dot are victims, too." "They were stabbed themselves." "Is that why they ran from the hospital?" "Their mother died days before they were attacked, and there was no sign of any forced entry at the house." "Way I see it, they murdered their mother, and then they tried to cover it up." "Wouldn't surprise me if they were involved with the killing at the lake and the Bachman murder." "Lies." "You're telling lies." "So that's it?" "Case closed?" "Look at 'em." "They're monsters." "Jury's gonna have no problem seeing that." "Don't call them monsters." "I call a spade a spade." "Now, you should get out of my way." "(whistles)" "I can't let you take them." "And who's gonna stop me?" "You and your miscreants?" "(gun cocks)" "Come tomorrow morning, my boys are gonna come over here and run you out of town." "There is no place in Jupiter for freaks." "Don't call us freaks!" "I'll call you whatever the hell" "I want to, you freak... (gasps) (gasps) (choking)" "♪ ♪" "You saved us." "And you're gonna save us." "(insects trilling)" "Do you like your seat, Dandy?" "They're all my seats." "I could sit anywhere I like." "Yes, you can." "I like the one you're in." "Oh." "(laughs)" "How's that?" "Better." "The seat's warm." "Mother made it toasty for you." "Can you see okay, darling?" "There's nothing to see." "Where are the freaks?" "(sighs)" "I'm getting bored." "I don't like this, Mother." "Remember what Dr. Peterson said." "If you allow yourself to become agitated, that nasty rash will come back." "You don't want that, do you?" "MAN:" "Places, everyone!" "Pepper, Salty, move your asses!" "Come on!" "(circus music playing)" "Freaks." "On in five, darling." "(music continues, drumroll begins)" "(cymbal crashes)" "ETHEL:" "Ladies and gentlemen." "Everything you've heard is true." "All that has been advertised is here, under this tent." "Wonders." "Curiosities." "A plethora of the strange, the weird, the bizarre, the unusual!" "From jungles untamed to forests enchanted." "From the Dark Continent to the spice-laden lands of India." "Astounding mistakes of nature are gathered here for your amusement and edification." "What you're about to see will astound your very senses and harrow... yes, harrow your souls." "And tonight, for the first time anywhere, the Spectacular Siamese Sisters." "But amidst the terrifying and the tragic... a voice... and beauty." "Ladies and gentlemen, direct from the cabarets of prewar Berlin, the enchantress who holds sway over all of nature's mistakes:" "Elsa Mars." "♪ ♪" "♪ It's a god-awful small affair ♪" "♪ To the girl with the mousy hair ♪" "♪ But her mommy is yelling "no" ♪" "♪ And her daddy has told her to go ♪" "♪ But her friend is nowhere to be seen ♪" "♪ Now she walks through her sunken dream ♪" "♪ To the seats with the clearest view ♪" "♪ And she's hooked to the silver screen ♪" "♪ But the film is a saddening bore ♪" "♪ For she's lived it ten times or more ♪" "♪ She could spit in the eyes of fools ♪" "♪ As they ask her to focus on ♪" "♪ Sailors fighting in the dance hall ♪" "♪ Oh, man ♪" "♪ Look at those cavemen go ♪" "♪ It's the freakiest show ♪" "♪ Is there life on Mars?" "♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ But the film is a saddening bore ♪" "♪ 'Cause I wrote it ten times or more ♪" "♪ It's about to be writ again ♪" "♪ As I ask you to focus on ♪" "♪ Sailors fighting in the dance hall ♪" "♪ Oh, man ♪" "♪ Look at those cavemen go ♪" "♪ It's the freakiest show ♪" "♪ Take a look at the lawman ♪" "♪ Beating up the wrong guy ♪" "♪ Oh, man ♪" "♪ Wonder if he'll ever know ♪" "♪ He's in the best-selling show ♪" "♪ Is there life on Mars?" "♪" "♪ ♪" "(music fades)" "(breathing hard)" "DOT:" "You're not supposed to be back here." "Care for a cigarette?" "I'd love one, thanks." "So how much?" "ELSA:" "My monsters aren't prostitutes." "You misunderstand." "We don't want to buy anyone for the night." "We want to buy them." "Period." "$5,000." "For one, maybe." "But there are two beauties here." "Okay, $10,000." "Have you any idea what kind of box office they'll bring in over the next year?" "They're my headliners." "Let's ask them." "Do you think $10,000 is a fair price for you?" "$15,000, and not one penny more." "Unless she grows another head." "(chuckles)" "We're staying right here." "This is our home." "(laughing quietly):" "Darlings." "That's just what I wanted to hear." "I knew it." "One night in the spotlight, and you've got the bug." "You're one of us." "You see, we are a troupe of entertainers." "A family." "And you will not split up our family." "Come, Dandy." "I need a long, hot bath." "Though nothing will wash away the ghastly memory of that infernal caterwauling." "By far the most freakish thing of all tonight was your pathetic attempt at singing." "(laughs)" "(insects trilling)" "(creaking)" "Friends... this lawman was supposed to protect and serve the innocent." "But instead, he judged us guilty before he even set foot into our camp." "All we've ever wanted was a place where we could feel safe and be just the way we are." "But no one is going to hand it to us." "We're going to have to rise up and take it." "Don't we deserve to be happy?" "OTHERS:" "Yeah!" "When bad things keep happening to good people, you start to question what is right and what is wrong." "Well, I say it's time we make our own right and wrong." "I say it's wrong for them to treat us like shit and kick us around like the scum of the earth!" "They want to call us monsters?" "Fine, we'll act like monsters." "From this day on, if anyone tries to mess with us-- any of us, 'cause you're one of us now-- they're going to end up like this pig." "Let's show 'em what we can do." "To the worms!" "You missed dinner, hon." "The gang's over the moon." "Sold-out show and all tonight." "It's all thanks to you." "You brought those twins here, hung that banner..." "Bang!" "We're in the black." "I know." "But I have a confession to make." "Those girls..." "I didn't bring them here for us." "To save us." "I brought them here for myself." "So people would come and they would see me and I would finally become a star." "It's what I've always wanted, nothing else." "Is it too late for me?" "Is it wrong?" "Not at all." "You listen here." "You've got a gift." "You deserve the laurels and the applause and the shouts of "encore."" "Do you really think so?" "I'd bet my hand you're gonna become a household name." "I know it." "Oh, Ethel, my darling..." "Oh... oh... you are too good for me." "Go now." "Get some rest." "(creaking softly)" "♪ ♪" "♪ Auf Wiedersehen ♪" "♪ Auf Wiedersehen ♪" "♪ We'll meet again ♪" "♪ Sweetheart ♪" "♪ This lovely day ♪" "♪ Has flown my way ♪" "♪ The time has come ♪" "♪ To part ♪" "♪ We'll kiss again ♪" "♪ Like this again ♪" "♪ Don't let the teardrops ♪" "♪ Start ♪" "♪ With love that's true ♪" "♪ I'll wait for you ♪" "♪ Auf Wiedersehen ♪" "♪ Sweetheart. ♪" "For more new Episodes go to G2G.fm"