"What's that?" "Domina, water is flowing from the statue." "It's a miracle." "Second Chronicle." "About citizens and taxes." "Toll?" "Toll." "Good morning, Roman." "Welcome, citizen." "Quintus!" "Why are four Romans guarding such an insignificant bridge?" "One man and something else..." "Did you have any problem?" "This is not your business." "It is my business because I pay taxes for a road that is supposed to be surveyed and safe." "Don't touch!" "Ok." "What do you transport?" "Before asking me, better you answer my questions." "Mr Merchant... be good." "As far as I know, I'm inside the Roman borders and therefore, under Roman law." "So I can ask to any civil servant my questions." "What do you want to know, Mr As-far-as-I-know?" "I want to know if the road is safe." "Otherwise I'm not paying." "Let me make that clear: you pay for the use of the road, not the safety." "But we already paid taxes for the construction!" "Maintenance should also be paid!" "As far as I know, maintenance is the provinces' responsibility." "So I'll not pay to a gang of soldiers." "I'll pay in the nearest village." "This discussion is over." "Quintus!" "Two wine barrels, six vessels with olives, a jellyroll, a dog, a pumpkin, grapes and strange stuff." "Try it!" "Shit!" "Manure!" "Ok." "You should give us two vessels of olives, half a barrel of wine or pay 50 denarius." "The manure you can keep for free." "This is excessive!" "I refuse to pay." "Maybe they are thieves in costumes, Jacob." "You pay for a very comfortable and fast road." "Period." "Comfortable and fast!" "This is what Romans teach to their children." "This is what it is!" "Did you ever see other roads?" "You have one minute to pay." "Comfortable!" "Ha!" " You Romans, sons of a she-wolves." " Time is running out!" " I travelled all around the world." " All around the world." " And Roman roads are the worst." " The worst." "Hole, stone, hole, stone." "Or, in other words:" "smooth, bump, smooth, bump." " Dirt roads!" " Dirt roads!" " Those are really smooth." " Smooth." "And you can travel..." " without breaking the merchandise!" " The merchandise!" "With those roads legionaries... can walk 50 km a day." "For sure!" "You really look like someone who walks 50 km a day." "And legionaries travel with carts?" "Oh!" "I forgot!" "You don't construct roads for merchants." "You construct roads for rude soldiers that only have to carry a picnic bag and a javelin." "Nobody asked you to build them." "Before it was better." " Can I smash them now?" " Very nice." "Put it away." "Enough!" "Pay or I'll arrest you!" " You are the bloodsuckers of the road!" " What's going on?" "He says that Roman roads are uncomfortable." "Insubordination!" "Two vessels got broken on the road." "Because of great Roman engineering." "Thank you for the info, then the toll is higher." "More taxes for this road!" "You don't like stone roads?" "No." " And you want them to pay?" " Me and you!" "He pays and money talks." "That's right!" "Stop it, Lucius." "We want them to pay!" "Come on Kissanus, those morons are right." "If we construct grass roads, we can avoid problems." "True!" "Grass is nice and comfortable." "You can walk barefoot." "You can have a picnic." "And a sunbath." "And kill Barbarians!" " And you'll cut the grass every day?" " Someone will invent something." "Kissanus, you are so limited." "We could build a cart with some blades below and that's it." "Lucius, stop supporting them!" "Why don't we agree with them?" "It's for free." "Because we are broke?" "The blades char is a good idea." "That's enough." "Pay and shut up!" " We don't pay, Jacob." " We don't pay, Melisa." "We could build the roads just with dirt." " Dirt roads become muddy when it rains." " That's true." "When it rains we don't travel, intellectual!" "Eh!" "Stop your sarcasm." "But he's right." "Who travels when it rains?" "Lucius!" "Stop it!" "Move out, we won't pay." "We want to talk with the person in charge!" "The person in charge!" "Melisa, attack." "The person in charge!" "So we consider... excessive." "And unjustified." "And unjustified, this toll." "So we'll not pay." "Great." "Something else?" "Yes." "Why are you wearing a curtain?" "Centurion's clothes are getting dry, freak!" "More?" "More?" "No." "Then, done." "Done." "You can put me wherever you want, but be sure I'll not pay." "I prefer this to your abusive taxes." "Up there you'll be pulled down." "Up here I can see how insignificant you are!" "You said you know how to install crosses!" " It's the ground." "It's wet!" " Lean it against the tree." "Jerks!" "You're not even capable of doing something wrong!" "Hey!" "Shall I crucify the dog?" "Free Romulo, savages!" "Leave the dog!" "Machoreti, it's only a dog!" "No!" "It's not only a dog." "It's the highest ideal of loyalty and honour, associated to the most humble living creature." "It's the embodiment of virtues that Saints admire and the Devil despises." "So don't say it's just a dog!" "Did you hear what he said about our dog?" "Yes." "Maybe we could sell it!" "Perfect." "Calm down Machoreti." "What are you doing with my cart?" "Don't touch it!" "Relax, citizen." "Nobody will touch it." "It's private property." "We are no savages." "And why do you tie it?" "We seal it so that no one touches it till the owner or a relative comes." "And how long will I stay here?" "How can I explain you?" " Until you die, jew!" " We're not jews." "And where are you from?" "We also have to tell you where we come from?" "Honestly, I don't care." "Soldier Caius, order to fall in!" " I'll do it." " What's wrong with him?" "Decurion prefers not to be addressed as soldier." "But aren't both ranks equally insignificant?" " Quintus, fall-in!" " Do I play the hymn?" "Petronius, that's me, decided that those tax evaders..." "We are no tax evaders!" "I'm sick of paying taxes!" "Miserable!" "The verdict is they will stay here, as an example to those to come, and as an example to the sons of the sons of those to come." "Everyone who crosses the bridge will pay and we'll never argue again." "So shall we also pay?" "No, we'll not, Machoreti." "And if The Cesar comes?" "For sure he will not!" " And other legionaries?" " Why do you make it so complicated?" " We have the right to a trail." " And to a lawyer." "Ok, go for it." "Brilliant again, Centurion." "Who's coming?" "Patricia, governor's daughter." "Finally an equal to me!" "I was praying to Diana when this lovely dog came in." " It's our dog, Romulus!" " Shut-up!" "No doubts, the beauty of this animal equals yours!" "Then I realised that..." "I know all the secrets that drive a woman crazy!" "Then I..." "Let me explain you that I have a gift for prediction." "Then this lovely dog said woof, woof and you saw in its eyes the signal of Diana to go and search your blond-haired lion." "Then I realised that the dog had peed under the sacred statue." "I came to report it." "Doesn't matter." "The end of your adventure is anyway glorious:" "me!" "Petronius, you're walking on your curtain." "'Governor's puppy looks for her lion'." " Get away, you filthy!" " Take the dog." "Decurion Caius, who's this insane man?" " The new Centurion." " Something is wrong in Rome." "How dare you!" "Kissanus, arrest her!" "Excuse me sir, but she has a higher rank." "Do you disobey me?" "Machoreti, attack!" "I can't execute, sir." "Are you all crazy?" "Petronius, calm down." "You are making a fool of yourself!" "My lord, as your loyal servant I should inform you..." "Shut up!" "Traitors." "I'll crush you!" "Little lion, why don't you get dressed?" "Don't look at me as if I am a monster!" "I couldn't find another colour." "I'll inform Rome about this plot!" "Wait Petrionius!" "Pathetic." "Poor guy." "You should take him to the doctor!" " Why do you slap me?" " Just to test it, I'm the inventor." "Miserable." "Petronius!" "You can't behave like this in front of your soldiers." "And she can?" "She's a politician, you should treat her different." "The robe is dry!" "Take it and go out there as a politician, not as a soldier." "Politics." "That's true." "Be smart at least once." "If you can't use the force... use your position." "That's true!" "Inflatius, you dumb!" "You remind me of important things too late!" "Yes, for sure." "Get out of here." "Thank you... for your help." "Don't let the dog flee again." "Crucify those two jews again." "What's going on?" "The lion is back!" "Listen darling." "Until the trial begins, those are my prisoners and..." "I have... full... preventive authority... to 'remain' them." " Retain them." " That." "So you now appeal to legal trickery and jurisprudence." "Whatever that means, same for you." "Caius, the punishment couldn't be applied before the trial." " So take down the crosses." " Immediately." "Don't move Caius." "The crosses stay here." "I like them to decorate." "Great." "Then I'll warn the Committee Prosecutor of Forbidden Religions that a Centurion decorates a bridge with crosses." "What does she mean?" " She'll accuse you of being a Christian." " A Christian?" "A forbidden religion that has the cross as a symbol." "The cross?" "But I also like crosses!" "But for different reasons." "As far as I know, the Christian symbol is a fish!" "Shut up, smart-ass." " So what should we do now?" " Nothing, Machoreti." "But we must do something!" "No." "The crosses stay." "Rome is full of crosses." "So move along." "You can't come here to command my soldiers." "Ok." "Listen, my friends!" "You shouldn't turn your back at a Centurion." " Why?" "Do you also stab in the back?" " For sure, you save a lot of energy." "Kissanus, proceed!" "Halt." "Listen to me as a friend, not as a superior." "Free those merchants from this absurd and unfair punishment." "Friend Caius, tell to your friends to take down those merchant friends." "Yes my friend, as you wish." "Stop it!" "If you do this, Kissanus will kill the slave." "Take her!" "Hey!" "Without violence!" "Girlie, things have changed here." "Now a man commands." "A man who doesn't care about the poorly made-up, the poorly coiffured and old fashioned daughter of the local governor." " Set them free" " En-o." "Will you tell your father?" "Yes, and he will tell my uncle." "Then I piss on your father and your uncle." "Great!" "I'll tell them." "Me, I'll tell my father and he'll tell other fathers." "I keep an eye on you." "Shut up!" "Move along!" "And next time don't get your make-up put on by a drunken monkey." "Inflatius, you have a lot to write..." " Leader!" " What?" "I should inform you that the uncle of Patricia, the cousin of his father, is the Emperor Caligula." "And the fearless Petronius... urinated on Cesar." " My horse!" " The Barbarians took it." " Free the jews!" " They are not jews, but I'll free them." "He urinates on Cesar!" "Come on." "Get lost." "No." "We want compensation." " Why don't you leave us alone?" " Because moral damage." "Damage?" "Machoreti, proceed." "Do I slap him with the stick-hand?" "Translation by Anne-Sophie Michel and Conor Griffin."