"(Six ) 'Where am I?" "'" "(Two ) 'In The Village.'" "(Six ) 'What do you want?" "'" "(Two ) 'Information.'" "(Six ) 'Whose side are you on?" "'" "(Two ) 'That would be telling." "'We want information... 'information...' 'information...'" "(Six ) 'You won't get it.'" "'By hook or by crook...we will.'" "(Six ) 'Who are you?" "'" "'The new Number Two.'" "(Six ) 'Who is Number One?" "'" "'You are Number Six.'" "(Six ) 'I am not a number, I am a free man!" "'" "(Laughter)" "(Rattles receiver)" "(Wind whistles )" "(Bell tolls continuously)" "(Engine starts )" "(Stops )" "(Crash)" "(Engine chugs )" "(Clattering)" "(Indistinct voices on radio )" "(Speaks foreign language )" "(Gunshots )" "Where is this?" "(Speaks Romany )" "(Angry response )" "(Speaks Romany )" "(Heated argument)" "(Shouts )" "(Speaks Romany )" "(Shouts )" " Where is this place?" " Eh?" "A road." "Where is there a road?" "(Speaks Romany )" "(Radio ) 'Going down Water Lane now...'" "(Siren )" "(Man ) Hold it!" "Yes?" " Who owns this house?" " I beg your pardon?" "!" "I'm sorry, I meant I'd like to see your master." " My mistress is not at home." " Could I wait...?" "What's the number of that car?" " Terribly interesting." " KAR 120 C." " What's the engine number?" " Do tell me." " 461034 TZ." " Marvellous." "I know every nut and bolt." "I built it myself!" "Then you're just the man I need." "It keeps overheating in traffic." "Perhaps you'd care to advise me." "Come in." "This way." "Make yourself at home." "I'll organise tea." " You would like tea?" " Very much." "I'm Mrs Butterworth." "And you are?" " An exile." " A nameless exile?" "Er, Smith." "Peter Smith." "Enchanting." "I'll only be a moment." "Then you can enlighten me on the intricacies of KAR 120 C." "(Dialling tone )" "Refreshments on the way." "Now, tell me more." " What's the date?" " Saturday, March the 18th." " Tomorrow's my birthday." " You're an odd fellow." " Sorry." "You must think I'm crazy." " Who isn't these days?" "You know, this, er, this was my house." "Really?" "In better days?" " Before I went away." " You must miss it." "The lease had six months to run." "Well, I have it for ten years, furnished." "Is the inventory in order?" "I'll bet." "Except for a missing body." "Have you been prying into my private affairs?" "Forgive me." "I'm very sorry." " Can you do me a favour?" " Are you growing a beard?" " No." " Pity." "I do like bearded men." "I couldn't get Arthur to grow one." " Arthur?" " My late husband." "A navy man." "Unhappily, now deceased." "(Knocking)" "Come in." "Oh, thank you, Martha." "Is this the, erm, gentlemen you said called earlier?" "It is, madam." "The description was not flattering." "Delve deeper, Martha." "Who knows what treasures lie there?" "All right." "Thank you, madam." "Sit down, Mr Smith." " Sandwich?" " Thank you very much." " You're very kind." " It's a pleasure." "I've never tasted better fruitcake." "I'm a very good cook." "It's a hobby of mine." "Mrs Butterworth, I asked if you'd do me a very great favour." "Certainly." "Behind this desk was an area of rot, it was made good some 12 months ago." "The bathroom door slides open to the left." "The sink is on the right." "The hot and cold taps are the wrong way round." "(Laughing) I had them changed." "You needn't prove anything." "I believe you." "I'm sorry." "I'm not used to that." " How can I help?" " Could I see the lease of the house and the logbook of the car?" "How mysterious." "Thank you." "This is a new one." "Yours is, er, the first name on it." "No previous owner is shown." "The estate agents arranged it all." "The car was a reasonable price." "I've always had a taste for speed." "Yes." "The, erm, estate agents were Stumbell and Croydon?" "Most reputable." "Mr Croydon was charming." "Did you meet him?" "No." "That wasn't the firm I did business with." "How odd!" "Yes, indeed." "Mrs Butterworth, you've been most kind, allowing me to intrude." "I have to make two calls - one in the country, one in town." "So I'll say goodbye." "Mr Smith, you mustn't go like that!" "Some of Arthur's things, you're very welcome." "I've kept them all." "It's stupid, but even if there isn't a man about the place," "I like to feel there is." "Do you understand?" "Yes, I..." "I know you're in trouble." "Have you any money?" " No." " How will you get about?" " I can manage." "Thank you..." " Don't be so silly and proud." "Come on, I'll hunt some clothes out." "As long as you stop the overheating." " It's a deal." " Bon voyage." " Mrs Butterworth, you've been..." " No speeches." "Off you go." " Don't forget to come back." " I won't." " I'll bake you a birthday cake." " I'll hold you to it." "Anyone at home?" "Pretty spot." "Mixed architecture." "Italianate." "Difficult." "Mediterranean?" "What do you think, Thorpe?" "I'd like a fortnight's leave there." "A life prison?" "Not like Sing Sing." "Sorry to stop your golf, Colonel, but this is no joke." "My dear fellow, you mustn't blame Thorpe." "After all, you yourself were often...sceptical." "That's why you were a good man." "Why we were sorry to lose you." "The evidence is there." "A set of photographs of a holiday resort." "And a rough navigational log on a newspaper." "It was the best I could do" " The Village store did not stock sextants." "Indeed, indeed." "If the place was as you say." " 'The Tally Ho'." " (Number Six ) A daily issue." " Morning or evening?" " Daily, at noon." "'The Facts Behind Town Hall'." "Town Hall?" "." " That's right." " Town Council?" "." "Correct." " Were you a member?" " I could have been." "It's democratic." " Democratic?" " So they claim." "And they're all numbers." "No names." " No names at all." " Just numbers." "I see." "A complete unit of our own society, a place to put people who know too much or too little." "(Number Six ) A place with ways to break a man." "Intriguing." "It has its own cinema, newspaper, its own TV station and credit cards." "And if you spill your secrets you are retired into the old people's home." " But no escape?" " They have an impressive graveyard." " Which you avoided?" " The Village was deserted." "Perhaps they were on the democratic annual outing." "The Town Hall." "Number Two's residence." "My house..." "Now don't get excited." "You must forgive us, but we have a problem." "Tell him, Thorpe." "You resign..." "You disappear..." "You return... with a yarn that Hans Christian Andersen would call a fairy tale." "And we must be sure." "People defect." "An unhappy thought, but a fact." "They defect from one side to the other." "I also have a problem." "I'm not sure which side runs this village." " A mutual problem." " Which I will solve." "Quite." "If not here, then elsewhere." "Thorpe!" " Sir?" " Check." "Yes, sir." "Check every detail in our ex-colleague's report." "Of course I helped him." "I'd help anyone in trouble." "Wouldn't you?" "Keep checking." "Report when you find anything." " All corroborated except the boat." " The beach?" " Gypsies." " Romanies." " The roadblock?" " Not for you." "An escaped convict." "Was there no name on the boat?" "Would you advertise gunrunning?" "No, I most certainly would not." "Would you, Thorpe?" "No." "You satisfied?" "Let us say the dice are loaded in your favour." "All right." "Let's get to work." "Commander, how's it going?" "On the basis of your log, allowing for your primitive device and your laggard craft," "I estimate average speed at three and a half knots." " You had fair winds?" " Mostly." "There is no allowance for tides." "No." "I had no charts nor any means to assess them." "Precisely." "You slept for how long?" "Four hours out of each twenty-four." "Remarkable." "So, in your 25 days at sea you averaged three and a half knots for 20 hours out of 24, on a northeasterly course, putting us at... 20 hours under fair sail, maximum travel on true course...1,750 miles." "Where was the lighthouse?" "Here." "250 miles to the inch." "That is my maximum possible travel." "What about minimum?" "At least 400 miles differential." "Say 500, with drift and tide." "Yes, on a north-easterly course in an equable climate," "somewhere about here." "Coast of Morocco, southwest of Portugal and Spain." "An island?" "You've got 500 by 1,500 to sweep." "750,000 square miles." "Quite an area." "We just heard we can refuel in Gibraltar." "Good." "We'll sweep as far as we can today, and again tomorrow." "And tomorrow and tomorrow..." "Very stubborn, Number Six." "James, call me that again and there'll be trouble." "Won't be a minute." "Good luck." "Thanks." "Interesting fellow." "He's an old, old friend, who never gives up." "Turn." "Sweep back." "15 degrees southwest." "Sweep nine degrees southwest." "That could be it." "Go closer." "There it is." "We've found it." "That's it." "Be seeing you!" "(Bubbles )" "(Miaowing)" "Many happy returns!"