"Who'sthis?" "Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine." "I don't think so." "What's that noise?" "Oops." "I farted." " I didn't think you would hear me." " No,that popping noise." "Oh." "I'm making popcorn." "I'm getting ready to watch a video." "Ooh.What is it?" " It's just a scary movie." " Do you like scary movies?" " Mm-hmm." "What's your favorite?" " Mm, I don't know." "Think." "Oh, I know." "Um, Kazaam, the onewhere Shaq plays a genie." "That's not a horror movie." "Well,you haven't seen Shaq act." " Hey,you have a nice voice." "Thanks." "You never did tell me your name." "Why do you wanna know my name?" "'Cause I wanna know who I'm looking at." "What-- What did you say?" "Nice breasts." "Look,what do you want?" "I wanna see what your insides look like." "Well--Well,then, turn to page 54." "Oh." "Hey, nice." "Listen, asshole,you've hadyourfun, nowyou betterstop orelse." "Orelsewhat?" "Orelse my boyfriend's gonna be here anyminute, and he's black and he'll kickyourass." "Oh, really?" "Yeah." "You mean the onewhowears makeup and dresses like a woman?" " Howdidyou know?" "Turn the porch lights on." "Help!" "Help!" "Oh,that's notmy boyfriend." "I mean, I'vefucked him a couple oftimes, butthat's it." " [Squealing]" " Look, I'm callingthe cops." "Go ahead." "Call the cops." "Butyou mightwanna checkthe backdoorfirst." "You forgotto lock it." "[DoorbelIChimes]" "Takethat,you psycho!" "[Groaning]" "I can'tfeel my legs." "I thinkmyarm is broken." "Sorry." " I wantmymommy." "Hello, Drew." "Oh, God!" "[Screams]" " Daddy!" "Daddy!" " Ugh!" "Daddy!" " Daddy!" " [Groans]" "Daddy, no!" "No!" " Didyou hearsomething?" " No, I didn't hearanything." "[KeyboardClicking]" "[Rustling]" "[Screams] Bobby,whatareyou doing?" "Mydad's in the other room." "Itjustoccurred to me." "I never climbed throughyourwindow before." "Nowthatyou got itoutofyoursystem, Bobby,you haveto leave." "Why?" "Shh." "Come on." "What's going on in there?" "Ow!" "Daddy's head is stuck." "Unstick Daddy's head." " [Groaning]" " Dad, canyou knock?" " Knock?" "I thought I heard screaming in here." " No." "No,you didn't, Dad." "Well, itcould've been thatcrack I smoked earlier, I guess." "Yeah." "Yeah,that'swhat itwas." "I gotta leavetown fora couple ofdays." "No big deal.Justthat new business I started with those Colombian guys?" "Oh,you mean Uncle Escobar." "Yeah.Yeah,that's right." "Well,there's a problem." "Some moneywentmissing." "And apparently, some legs are gonna get broken." "It'sjust better ifl lay low fora couple ofdays." " Ifthe cops raid the place" " I never heard ofyou." "And don'tforget" "Toflushyourstash." "Oh,you are my little girl." "I loveyou so much... that I leftyou a little something in the coffee can." " Dad" " Butyou haveto rememberto step on it beforeyou sell it." " Now,whatareyou gonna cut itwith?" " Um, baking" "Baking soda." "Not baking powder." "Because baking powderguys will have muffins growing outoftheir nose." "You lovethatjoke, don'tyou, honey?" "You've loved thatjoke sinceyou weretwoyears old." "Okay,well" "Okay, I loveyou." " I loveyou." " Have a good trip." " Bye." " Bye.Whew!" "Isthe coastclear?" "Oh, Cindy,that nightgown." "Thatwas close." "God!" "I was, uh, homewatching TheExorcist, and it gotmethinking aboutyou." "Ifthis is aboutthetime I puked green slime and masturbated with a crucifix" "Itwas myfirst keg party, Bobby." "No." "No." "Uh, itwas edited forTV." "All the good stuffwas cutout." "Soyou thoughtyou wouldjustclimb through mywindow... and wewould play bump-bump?" "I was kind ofhoping to getmy balls licked, butlwouldn't wannabreak yourlittle underwearrule, now, wouldl?" "So maybejustsome on-top-of-the-clothestype stuff?" "." "Okay." "Butjustfora minute." "**[SoftRock]" "Whatthe" "Wrong set." "*" "Bobby!" "Oh, Bobby!" "*ldon't wanna wait forourlives tobeover**" " No, Bobby, don't." "Ow!" "Jeez." "Yeah, mydad." "Okay, stud, you haveto go now." "Oh, um, aboutthe sex stuff?" "." "I was only halfserious." "I don'twanna rushyou oranything." "Hey,wouldyou settle for PG-13?" "What'sthat?" "Oh,jeez!" "[Crash]" "Good night, Bobby." " [ Laughing]" "Shorty,you are so loud." "And make sureyou take your behind to classtoday." " I do be goingto class." " Lunch is nota class, Shorty." "It iswhenyou got the munchies." "See,that'swhy you such a dumb-ass." "Yourmother." "You my brother." "That'syourmothertoo,jackass." "Oh,yeah." "Well,then,yourfather's stupid." "So?" "I don't know him." "Yeah, me neither." " Hey, girl,you ready?" "Yeah, in a minute." " We'regonnabelate." "Wait.There's Buffy." "[Grunts] I don't knowwhy you hang outwith her." "She is such a ho." "Whydoyou saythat?" "'Causel'veseenher." " Myfriend Sean had a pool party this summer." "Sean?" "You know, PuffDaddy?" "Anyway, everybodywas drinking Cristal champagne." "And then itstarted to getwild, and peoplewere gettingfreaky in the pool and stuff." "I lookoverand therewas yourgirl getting buckwild in theJacuzzi." "So?" "With a backup dancer." "I mean,that's nasty." "That's-That's lower than the security guard." "At leastsecurity can getyou backstage." "She don't love herself." "Bye, Daddy." "Idon'tknow." "Ithink Buffy'ssweet, Brenda." "Sheisasfake asPress-onnails." "Hey, babygirl!" "What is up, mysister?" " Bye, Mr. Gilmore." " Bye!" " Is he gone?" "Yep." "*Doyoulike whatyousee* *lt'sallaboutthemoney**" "[Girl] Hey, Cindy!" " I lovethis color." " Letme seethat." "Oh,you guys should not usethis brand." "Why not?" " Becausetheytest their products on animals." "So?" "Look, haveyou seen whattheydo tothose pooranimals?" "Well, lammuch more ofapeopleperson." "I'd liketofeed all the hungry, little children oftheworld." "I'd much rather help myfellowman than some animal." "Spare a dollar?" "Getawayfrom me,you bum!" "Buffy!" "Can'tyou see he'sjust hungry?" "Hereyou go, sir." "A nice sandwich." "See?" " I said a dollar, bitch!" "Ow!" "God." "Lookatthis place." "It'sacircus." "Hello." "I'm Gail Hailstorm, authorofthe book, You're Dead, I'm Rich." "Asmall collegetown is in shock... afterthe unthinkable has happened:" "a brutal killing spree that leftoneteen dead" "That's it.Twoteens dead..." " [Gunshot] andthissmalltown shakenandstirred." " It'stimes likethese" " Police are combing the area forclues." "There are nowitnesses available atthistime." "There are no suspects in custody." "Policeare askinganyone tocomeforward." "Reporting livefor BlackTV." "Whitefolks are dead and we're gettingthefuckoutofhere!" "Grabyourshit and let's go, motherfucker!" "Hey, doyou thinkthe press is gonna wanna talkto us?" "Oh, girl, no.The press onlywantsto interviewthe most ignorant person theycan find." "I'm on TV!" "Oh, shit!" "First Cops, nowthis!" "Oh, man, I'm gonna be a star, son!" "Whatcanyou tell us about Drew?" "Well, she had the phatass." " I mean, itwas like bang!" " Howclosewereyou tothevictim?" "Real close." "Until the roofieswore off." "Then shewoke uptalking about pressing charges." "So ljust pulled mytongue outofherass and left." "Whatwould have been your lastwordsto Drew?" "Run, bitch!" "Run!" "Hey,yo, dawg." "Doesthis shirtmake me lookgay?" "No, man." "Whatabout now?" " Nah.Yeah." "Cool?" "Here.Take one, guys." "Don'tforget: election'sTuesday." ""Don'tforget:" "election'sTuesday."" "Ah!" "Goddamn it!" "Son ofa bitch!" "What'sthe matter, honey?" "My reportcard." "Well, at least you gotone "A."" "Yeah." "I did, huh?" "You're so smart." " [ Moaning]" " Hey, has anybodyseen Bobby?" " Nah." "You knowwhat?" "That kid is always late." "I don'tget it." "He lives so close." "**[Rock]" "Seeyou later, Hairy Mama, Bubba,Jim," "BigJim, LittleJim, SlimJim, everybody." "I'll seeyou later." "Ciao, Ding." "All right." "Damn, girl." "Mm-mm-mm." " I'd sure liketo get in them pants." " Really?" "Yeah.Whatsize arethese?" "[Bobby] Hey, guys." " Hey, Bobby." " Hey, baby." " Howyou doing?" "Good." "You guys see all the reporters outthere?" "Yeah." "Sayingthatgirl Drew Decker got killed last night." "You knowwhat?" "I think I knew her." " Really?" "She had a brother named Steve?" "Yeah." "Long hair, pretty little mouth, perfectass?" "Thatwas her." " Nah, I wastalking aboutSteve." "Whatever happened to him?" "Doyou guysthink it's strange thatshe got killed... exactlyoneyear afterwe, you know, killed thatguy?" "Hey, Cindy, thatwasanaccident." "Was it, Greg?" "[Greg] Yeah!" "[ Laughing]" "Wouldyou look atwhatthey're doing?" "When arewe gonna do stufflikethat, huh?" "One day." "You likethat, baby?" "Yeah,that's different." "You likethat?" "Oh, I lovethat." "Oh, I love whenyou playwith myass." "I'm not playing withyourass." " Ray!" "Oh, my bad." "Come on, man!" "Hey, Bobby, puton some music." "Hold on." "Here." "Putthis on." "*lt'srainingmen*" "Yeah,that'sthe shit right here!" "*Hallelujah* -* It's raining men *" " Baby." "*Amen*" "*l'mgonnagoout I'mgonnaletmyselfget*" "What?" "It's a classic." "*Absolutelysoakin'wet**" " Puton the radio, man." "**[Rock]" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "What?" "Itwas laundryday." "Whatthefuck is" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" " Hey." "Come over here." "What?" "Justgeta little closerto me." "Somethingyou're gonna tell me?" "[ZipperUnzips]" " Bobby,whatareyou doing?" "Ijustwantyou totouch it." "Justtouch it." "Come on." " Uh" "Justa little bit." "Come on." "Whoo!" "Ow!" "Oh,yeah,that's what I'm talkin' about." "Oh, myGod!" "Shit!" "God, Cindy-- Oh, shit!" " [ Ray] Oh, myGod." "Whatwasthat?" "I think we hitsomething." "Oh, man!" "Bobby, lookatmycar, man!" "Mydad's gonna freak!" "[Bobby]ldidn'tseeit." "Itcameoutofnowhere." "Oh, myGod,we hita boot." "Where'sthefoot?" "I don't know." "Wherethe-  [Screams]" " It's a body!" "Oh, shit, is he alive?" " I don't know." "Well, check itout." " I can't." "Shit!" "We haveto call the police." " Noway." "I ain'tgoingtojail." "We haveto!" "Cindy, doyou knowwhattheydo toyoung boys in prison?" "And all those sex-starved convictsjustwaiting fora fresh piece ofmeat." "Hey,you're right, Cindy." "Maybewe should call the police." "[Greg]Oh,yeah, That'sagreatidea, Ray." "ButwhataboutBrenda, huh?" "Youthinkshe wants togotojail?" "This is manslaughter, okay?" "We're all gonna fryforthis." " We're lookingat 10to 15years." "Shut up, Bobby!" " It's okay." "I'm fine." "Alcoholallover." " We're insomuch trouble." " I'm fine." "[Brenda]Don'tblame thatshit onme, Ray." " Look,we'll get rid ofthe body." " Unnecessary." "[Brenda]Nowyou're thinking." "We'll dump him in the ocean." "Nottheocean, thepier." "Guess I'll be leaving now." "[Greg]That'sagreatidea." "Whataboutthe alcohol?" "We'll get rid ofit." "[Bobby]Comeon." "It'llbeallright." "Come on." "Hurry up." "Let's go." " Put him in thetrunk." " I won't have anythingto dowith this!" "[Greg]Shutup!" "Cindy, come on." "We'lljust pretend it never happened." "You know, likethetimewe gotdrunk and wewentdown on each other." " I'll get his arm." " I'll grabl'll grab his otherarm.his ass." "We'll take him down toWilliamson Cove and we'll dump him in there." "The sharks'll take care ofthe evidence." "Oh, myGod, someone's coming." "Oh, shit." "It's Shorty." " Brenda,take care ofhim." "**[Rap Playing OnRadio]" "Shorty, I knowyou ain'tdriving without no papers." "I got papers, blunts, bongs, all the ingredients to make a high nigga pie." " Hey,yo, can I helpyou?" "Yo,what's up, Ray?" "Yo, son,you all needjumpercables?" " Nah,we're cool." "Oh, good, 'causelleft myroach clip athome." "Go home, Shorty." "Yeah, l-l'll seeyou later." "Peace, Ray." "Getthetrunkclosed." "[Buffy]ltwon't close." " I'll do it." " [Groaning]" "[Shorty Laughing]" "Hold on." "Hold on." "Put him down." "He's heavy." "Oh, God." "Okay, look." "On threewe dump him overthe ledge." "Wait,wait,wait." "Shouldn'twe at leastcheck hiswallet?" " Forwhat?" "Shit, he might have some money." "We alreadycommitted murder." "We mightaswell rob his ass." " I'll takethe creditcards." " I want hisjewelry." " I'm gonna take his drawers." " [All Shouting]" "Getoff!" "." "Hey,yo, getoff!" "." "His drawers are mine!" "Yo!" " [Chuckling] I gotme a gold ring." "Creditcards." "All right, let's get him in thewater." " I don'tthink I can, Greg." " It's nottoo late." "Shut up, okay?" "Christ, already." "I'll do it." "Justget him in thewater." "Okay." "One,two, three." "Right nowwe make a pact." "Wetakethisto ourgrave." "Agreed?" "Agreed." "Agreed." "Agreed?" " [ Brenda, Bobby] Agreed." "Say it, Cindy." "Say it!" "Wetakethisto ourgrave." "Say it!" " [Gagging]" "Wetakethisto ourgrave." "Say it." "Greg, chill." "Come on." "You're hurting her." "Wetakethis to ourgrave." "Ow." "And we never mention this again." "Mention what?" "The guywejust killed." "Well,youjustmentioned it, Greg." "Starting now!" "Stupid bitch, man." "God." "I hate him." " It's gonna be okay, baby." "It's gonna be okay." "Ipromise.Justtouch itagain." "Comeon." "Please." "You haveto move on, Cindy." "That's all behind us now." " Exactly." " It's a coincidence." "Greg's right, Cindy." "I mean,whatdoyou think we're in, a horrormovie?" "Yeah,youguysare right." "Ifwe were, they'd probablycastsome dingbat likeJennifer Love HugeTitsto playme." "Yeah, orthey'd cast people in their latetwenties, earlythirtiesto play us." "[BelIRings]" " Kenny, getthe camera ready." "Here." "Hold mygum." "Sheriff, Sheriff, can I geta statement?" " No comment." "Damn.Who do I haveto screwaround here to geta stupid story?" "Hey!" "Hey, norunning." "[ BlowsWhistle]" " Loser." " [Continues Blowing]" "Slow itdown!" " [ Boy] Blowme!" "All right!" "Hi." "Gail Hailstorm." "Field Reporter, HardStory." "Special Officer Doofy." "Oh, hi, Doofy." "Doofy, listen." "Isthere a problem on campus?" " No comment." "No comment." "Okay." "Okay." "You know,you lookawfullyyoung to be a police officer." " I'm 25 and a halfyears old." "Ooh!" "Yeah,that'sthis many." "Ah, so big." "Yeah.That's big." "Well,you don't look a dayover 12." " [Chuckles]" "Exceptforthe big head and glazed-over look inyoureyes." "Ooh,wasthatdrool?" "Yeah." "I forgotto swallow." "Don'tworry, 'cause I neverforget." " [ Both Laughing] - [ Farts]" "Wouldyou remind me notto dothatagain?" "Sorry." "[ManOverP.A.] Duetotherecenttragedy, thesheriff andme,yourprincipal, willbequestioningallstudents throughouttheday." "Wow." "Sounds likewe've gotthe makings ofa serial killeron our hands." "Yeah, I'm notsupposed to say." "It's official police business." "Hey, Doofy,whatdoyou sayyou and I go inside myvan overthere... and, uh, getto know each othera little better?" "Wouldyou likethat?" "Yeah,thatvan rightthere." "Thatvan?" " [Chuckles]" "Yeah." "Yeah, okay, let's go." "Come on." "Oh!" "Aterribletragedy and an unbearable loss." "It's days liketoday thatwe need prayer in school." "Itstartsto unravel theverymoral fabric ofoursociety." "Hereyou go, baby." "Gotoyourdaddy." "Oh!" "[Chuckles] I'll seeyou afterclass." "Sweet!" "All right!" "Okay, class,whowould liketo give theiroral presentation first?" "Oh!" "Anybody?" "Yes!" "Anybodyelse?" "Okay, Heather." " [Students Groaning]" "Okay." "Can I start?" "Yeah." "Okay, my presentation is on the FirstAmendment." "AnditbeganonMay25, 1787in Philly with George Washington." "Anditstates, andlquote," ""WhenourFoundingFathers arguedthepassage ofourglorious Constitution--"" "[HeatherContinuing]" "TheFirstAmendmentgives us theright tosay whatwe want" "Oh, shutthefuck up!" "So,who's next?" " [ Putting]" "Uh, CindyCampbell." "Isn'tshethe daughter of,well,you know" "Oh,yeah,you know, old Mrs., uh" "Old Mrs." "[Sheriff] Yeah." "Yeah, theoneandonly" "Theoneandonly." "[Clears Throat]" "Why, hello, Cindy." "Hi, PrincipaISquiggman." "Thanks, Doofy." " It's Special Officer Doofytoday, Cind." "Now, Cindy, Sheriffhassomequestions thathe wouldliketoaskyoutoday." "What isthat... god-awful smell?" " I don't know." "I gota poopie." "Didyoujustsay thatyou went poopie?" "Yeah." "Itwas good." "[Sheriff]Mm." "Get him outofhere." "Yes." "Thankyou, Doofy." " [ Doofy] Okay." "You should nowgo back to Special Ed." "Okay." "Salute." " Maybe a change ofunderwear, son." " Bye, Doofy." " Bye, Cind." " Howareyou, Cindy?" "Fine." " Howareyou, Sheriff?" "." " Bloated, constipated." "Gota boil on myass the size ofa walnut." "You know,the usual." "Cindy, lwanttoaskyou somequestionsaboutDrewDecker." " I didn't really know her." "Oh, come on." "Sureyou do." "No." "I mean, I didn't really know her." "I've been in this game a longtime." "Don't bullshita bullshitter." "TellmeaboutDrew." "What wasshelikein bed, Cindy?" "Tried to getyou." "It's an old policetrick." "It's an old policetrick." "You didn'tfall for it." "Good foryou, kid." "Hike!" "Pass!" "Pass!" "[Whistle Blows]" "All right, shower up!" "Yes!" "Yo, Dugan, man, nice play,yo.Word up." "Johnson,whata block, baby." "Word up.Woodward. Nice ass." "Damn." "Yo, Greg,what's up?" "You gonna hitthe showers orwhat?" "No, man." "I think I'm gonna workout, beatthe bag a little." "Suityourself, kid.All right." "Lastone in the shower's a rotten egg!" "Come on,y'all!" "I'm gonna gety'all!" "[ Laughing]" "Don'tletUncle Raycatchyou!" "Who did this?" "Huh?" "Where areyou?" "This isn'tfunny, all right?" "Asmall dick's like a disability, man!" "Wouldyou makefun ofa guy in a wheelchair?" "Huh?" "Wouldyou?" "Come on out here, you sickfuck!" "I'll kickthe shit outofyou right now!" "All right?" "It's notthe size ofthe hammer, it'sthe nail you'rethrowing itat!" "[Cindy] It'sashamehowshedied." "Shewas such a nice girl." "Yeah, she used to baby-sit my brother Doofy." " He had the biggestcrush on her." " Ray,you're a dead man." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "You wanna get butt-naked and wrestle?" " Bring iton, Ray!" " Hold myearrings.Where's myVaseline?" "Take iteasy.What'sthe problem?" " I'll showyou the problem." "Oh--That'syou?" "They--Theyturned the hotwateroff in the showers, all right?" "Laugh it up,you guys." "Big laugh." "You knowwhat?" "You can all goto hell!" "Greg,you're notthe onlyone who gotone." "Oh,you mean Bobby's gota babydicktoo?" "No." "I wastalking aboutthe note." "I gotonetoo." "Somebody knows." "That's bullshit, Cindy." "Someone'sjusttrying tofuckwith us." "We haveto call the police, Greg." "You call the police, and I'll killyou myself." "[ Punching Stomach ]" "You're hurting her, man." "Andyou knowwhat?" "Thatgoesforall ofyou guys." "That psychowants a piece ofme, bring iton." "But I'm notgoingtojail." "You gotthat?" "[CindyGroaning]" "[Bones Crunching] - [All Groaning]" "What's everybody talkin' about?" "Justforget it, Shorty." "You already knowtoo much." "[CindyGroaning]" "[AudienceCheering] - [ Emcee] Aren'tthey beautiful?" " Buffy!" "[Man]Contestantnumberone!" "Verygood." "And contestant numbertwo." "Verygood." "And contestant numberthree." "[Greg] Buffy!" "That'smygirl!" "That's mygirlfriend!" "Yeah,that's mygirlfriend too!" " Hey, kiss myass!" "[Boy#2]Yeah, I'm hitting thattoo!" "All right, Buffy!" " Hey, shutthe hell up, man!" "[Boy#3]Thebestpussyleverhad!" "What,you wanta piece ofme?" "Nowthetalent portion ofthe competition." "Oh,you guys, I'm gonna go downstairsfora closerseat." "Seeyou afterthe show." " Numberthree, BuffyGilmore." " [CheersAnd Applause]" "Hey,you knowwhat?" "I'm gonna go hitthe head.You wantme to bringyou backanything?" "No, no, no." "I'm good, man." "But hurry back." "She's gonna perform." " Don'tworry." "I'll be back." "Goodevening, Buffy." "And whatwill be yourtalentforthis evening?" "Acting." "I'll be doing a dramatic reading." "[Boy]Yeah,yeah!" "BuffyGilmore doing a dramatic reading." "Hey, dothatthingfrom Baywatch!" "She's running down the beach!" "Lookout, Greg!" "Look behindyou!" " It's him!" "It'sthe killer!" " Huh?" "Oh, myGod!" "Somebodydosomething!" "Somebodydosomething!" "He's killing him!" "He'skillinghim!" " Must be an original piece." "He's killing him!" " [Sobbing]" "She's good." "She's good." "What'swrongwithyou people?" "That'sfantastic." "You fucking bastards!" "Whywon'tanyone help?" "Amazing." "[Woman]She's thenextPamela Lee." "Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "Don't!" " [Groans]" "Greg, hold on!" "[Emcee]Give it up forBuffyGilmore!" "Beautiful." "Absolutelyfantastic." " [Cheering]" "I thinkwe have a winner, ladies and gentlemen." "Miss BuffyGilmore!" "Buffy,wait." "You haveto go backonstage." " No." "I haveto getto Greg." " Butyou won!" " They're callingyourname." "There's a killer" " I won?" "They're callingyour name." "Go." " Buffy,what happened?" "WhataboutGreg?" "Oh,fuckGreg." "I won." "Congratulations!" "Oh, outofmyway, loser!" " Miss BuffyGilmore!" "[CheersAndWhistles]" "*Hereshecomes*" "* MissTeen She's So Fine*" "*Such lovelytits*" "Give me mycrown, bitch." "*And a great behind *" "*There she is Doggystyle anytime*" "*Andl'lldo herbehind behindandbehind*" "*Oh, theresheis*" "*Sheloves 69**" "There's no sign ofhim anywhere." " He could'vetaken the body." "That's impossible, Cindy." " There'snoblood." "There'snothing." "Lookaround." "Ibetit'sjustGregplaying... anotherone ofhis dumbjokes." "He's gonna turn up." "I'm sure ofit." "He's probablyatmy house waitingfor us right now," "you guys." "All right,fine." "Butyou knowwhat?" "I'm gonna lookaround some more, so" "You mind catching a ride homewith Buffy?" "Yeah, no problem." "All right,fine." "Call me later." "** [ Humming]" "[PhoneRings]" " Hello." " [ Man'sVoice] Hello, Cindy." "Who isthis?" " It's me, Bobby." "You know,your boyfriend." "Yeah, I'm sorry." "I guess I'm a littlejumpy lately." " Hey, anysign ofGreg?" " No." " Doyou wantmeto come by?" " No." "I'mjustgonna take a bath, and then I'm gonna goto bed." "Okay." "I'd really like to seeyou, but" " I loveyou." "Aw." "I loveyou too, baby." "[ Farts]" "[Rings]" "Bobby, I toldyou" "[ Man'sVoice] I still know whatyou did last Halloween." "Who isthis?" " [ Dial Tone]" "[PhoneRings]" " [Screams] - [Thud ]" "Ow!" "Ow!" "[Ringing]" " Hello." " I'm gonna killyou." " I'm gonna sliceyou up." "Who isthis?" " I'm gonna chopyou like liver." "Whatdoyou want?" "I'm in the house." "[Snickering]" "Doyou knowwhere I am?" "[Snickering]" "I could be anywhere." "I'm likethewind, baby." "Yeah.Where am I?" "[Snickering]" "Um,you're-you're behind the couch." "[Snickering Stops] What?" "Howdoyou knowthat?" "I can, um, seeyourfeet." "Ah!" "Okay,turn around." "Closeyoureyes." "No peeking." "Yeah." "No." "No." "No." "Hey, no peeking." "No peeking.Turn around." "Good." "Okay, nowyou look." "Nowdoyou know where I am?" "You don't." "No, Mr. Killer." "I don't knowwhereyou are." " I'll giveyou a big clue." " [Screams]" "Oh!" "I gotta stop drinking." "Grandma!" "Ow, baby!" "Oh, my hip!" "[Screaming]" "[WomanDispatcher] White womanin trouble offthe744" "[Sirens Wailing]" "[TwigsSnapping] - [Screams]" "Areyou okay?" "I heard screaming." "What's going on?" " Bobby, hewas here." "Shh." "The killerwas here, Bobby." " It's okay." " I can explain that." "Oh, myGod." "Afriend gave 'em to me." "Cindy." "Cindy." " [Screaming]" "Cindy." "Cindy!" "Cindy!" "Cindy!" "Cindy!" "It's me, Cind." "[Gasps]" "Cindy,you knowme." "Cindy." "I knowyou've had a rough night, Cindy, so I won't keepyou." "Ijustwantyou to lookatsome photos." "Tell mewhatyou think." "Mm-mmm." "No?" " No." " I'm sorry, Sheriff." "You sure?" "Okay,you'refreeto go." "Doyou have somebody pickingyou up?" "Yeah." "Oh.Just" "Justcheck thatone outagain." " Mm, no." " No?" "No?" "Well,worth a shot." "All right,thanks." "Guesswhat ljustdid with those hookerswe busted." " Noway." "All theway, man!" "Yes,yes." "Watch this." "Doofy!" "Yeah?" "Come on." "Come on." "Okay." "Special Officer Doofy reporting." "Hey, Doofy, smell myfingers." "What'sthat?" "That'swhenyou know you've become a man, Doofy!" "Hey,Terry, smell my finger." "Whatthe hell isthat?" " Myass." "Getthe hell outofhere, Doofy." " Doofy." " Mom said get home now." "Tell Mom I'm on official police business." "Cindy, areyou okay?" " Hey, hey, hey." "Notalkingtothewitness." "Go get in the car, Doofy." "She's comingwith us." " Does Mom know?" "Yeah, Doofus." " Mom sayswhen I wearthis badge, you're supposed totreatme like a man ofthe law." "Mom also said foryou to stop stickingyourdick in thevacuum cleaner." " [Cheering]" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Okay,three,two- [Man]Oh, no." "Gosh darn." "What now?" " It'sjustthatthere's all these numberswith deci" "What, can'tyou count?" " No, I can count, butthere's really" " Letme make iteasyforyou." "This little piggywenttothe market." "This little piggystayed home." "Now, ifthis little piggydoesn't roll the goddamn camera" " I'm gonna putmyfoot up hisfuckin' ass" " We're live, Gail." "Gail Hailstorm standing outfront ofthe police station... where I'm goingtotryand geta glimpse ofCindyCampbell, theyoung girl whowas attacked earlierthis evening." "You're on myfoot,fatshit!" "Sorry, G" "Whatdid I say?" " "Don'teverstep on Gail's shoes."" "Why not?" " Because Gail wears Prada shoes." "You idiot." " I'm a bad man." "[ReportersShouting] Cindy!" "Cindy!" "Cindy, can we geta statement?" " BuffyGilmore, MissTeen." "She's nottalking." " Is ittruethe police have someone in custody?" "Come on, Cindy." "Cindy,yourass looksfat!" "Bitch!" "Good shot." "Come on." "All right,who copped a feel?" "Gail, itwas me." "Oh, myGod." " Itwas an accident, Gail." "I onlytouched it, thetop ofthe breast." " Itwas sotenderandjuicy." "Shut up!" "[ Dial Tone]" "[PhoneRings]" "Yo." " Hello, Shorty.Whatareyou doing?" "Nothin'." "Sittin' herewatchin'the game." "Smokin' some bud." "Areyou all alone?" "Wassup?" "Wassup?" "Whatthe-- Who'sthat?" "Yo, pick upthe phone." "Wassup?" "Wassup?" "Yo, Dookie, pick upthe phone!" "Yo." "Wassup?" "Whatyou doin', son?" " Nothin'.Justchillin', killin'." "True.True." "Soyou think Bobbydid it?" "I don't know." "But hewasthere, Buffy." "I knewthere had to be something." "He'sjusttoo perfect." "Handsome, smart, good in bed." "Whatdidyou say?" " Uh" "Hey, Cind." "Gotyour ice packforyour hand." "Ow!" "Sorry." " [Groans]" "I'llgetyouoneforyourhead." "No, no,that's okay, Doofy." "Hey,we're gonna getthatguy you dumped in thewater.Yeah." "I'llbenextdoor ifyouneedme." "Night, Cind." "Buffy,you told him?" "The moron overheard a conversation Greg and I were having." "Yeah, butwhat ifhe says something?" "Who's gonna believe... a retarded retard like him anyway?" "Cindy,telephone." "Thankyou." " Hello." " [ Man'sVoice] Hello, Cindy." "Guesswhat." " No!" "You gotthewrong guy." " No!" " Doofy!" " It's not Bobby." "Who isthis?" " [ Dial Tone]" "Doofy!" "Doofy!" "Oh, myGod." "Hello?" "Hello?" "I said don'tdisturb me while I'm cleaning my room!" "I heard Bobbygotout this morning." "I haven'tseen him around." "Is he pissed?" "You mean since you branded him the Candyman?" "No." "His heart is broken." "Yo, son." "It's like I seen this all before." "They had a killerat yourold high school, Shorty?" "No, itwas in this movie Scream." "Same dialogue and everything." "This is ill." " Howdid itend?" " I don't know." "Some niggas started shooting up in the movietheater, sowejust broke out." " No doubt." "Okay, I saywe all juststicktogether." "Tonighteveryone meetatmy house." "And bring somefriends." "Butdon'ttell everyone." "Tryto keep itquiet." "Okay." "Yo!" "Party atCindy's house!" "Drunkwhitewomen foreverybody!" "Ray, ifyou see Bobby, tell him I love him." "Okay." "Ifl see Bobby, I'll tell him I love him." "Jesus!" " It's okay." "It's all right." "It'sjustme, baby." "What,you don'tstill think it's me, doyou?" " No." "It'sjustthatsomebody did tryto kill me." "And the police said I scared him away." " I know." "He called me last night." "You see, itcouldn't have been me." "I was injail last night." "Remember?" "You'rethe best." "I'm sorry." "Please understand." "Understand what?" "Thatmygirlfriend would rather call me a killerthan touch me?" "That's nottrue, Bobby." "Then what is it?" "What is it?" "She's gone and she's notcoming back." " It's been overayear, Cindy." " ButGingerwas such an important partofthe Spice Girls." "Oh,you gotta move on, baby." "Oh!" "I'm sorry ifmycomplicated life... is an inconvenience toyour perfectexistence." "Cindy." "Cind." "[Sheriff] Okay, everybody, listenup." "Letmejustsay, uh, the killing oftheseteenagers has been tragic, but, uh" "Hey,you know, shit happens." "[ Reporters Shouting] Sheriff!" "." "Sheriff!" "." "Yes, MissThunderstorm." " Havetheyfound CindyCampbell'sfather?" " No." " Isn't he a suspect?" "That is classified information." "Where areyou gettingthat?" "I'm sorry, butmysources are strictlyconfidential, Sheriff." "Hey, Gail." "Gail swallows." "Watch this." "Hello.Who isthis?" "What?" "You wanna kill me?" "Oh, God." "Hold on." "Cindy, it'sforyou." " [Girls Laughing]" "All right, knock itoff, Buffy." "Now, asyouallhave heard, there isakillerin town... and the police have asked usto giveyou thefollowing safety tips." "Stay in well-litareas." "Do nottravel alone whenever possible." "Alwayswipefrontto back." "Andremember, never, ever believesomeone... when theytellyou thatshavingyour pubic hair... will ridyou ofcrab infestation." "Now, I understand this is a difficulttime foryouyoung ladies." "Soifanyoneneeds tocometomyofficetotalk," "I am hereforyou." " Whatacrock ofshit." "[Cindy]lt'snot, Buffy!" " He's real!" " [Girls Laughing]" "[ Inhales]" "Miss Mann?" "Come in, dear." "Have a seat." "Take offyour bra ifyou'd like." "No,thanks." "Whatcan I doforyou, Cindy?" "I need totalk." "See, I havethis problem... and I don't know whototell." " Notfeeling sofresh?" " Huh?" "Feminine odorand itching gotyou down?" "Uh, no." "No, notthat." "Then what is it?" "I have a terrible secret." "Well, Cindy,we all have our little secrets." "Sometimeswe dothings we're notso proud of." "Someformoney, othersto gain the athletic edge on the competition." "Sometimesthose secrets come backto haunt us." "Aah!" " Doyou knowwhat I mean?" "Yes, I do, um, Miss Mann." "Thanksfor ball" "Imean, allyourhelp." "Ihave togotoclass." "Anytime, dear." " Buffy, areyou coming?" " I'll catch upwithyou guys in a sec." "[Man Whispering]Redrum." "Hello?" "Somebodythere?" "Hello!" "[Gasps] Veryfunny." "Who putyou up tothis, Cindy?" "Losethe cape." "It'swaytoo '90s horror." "Oh, sowhatmovie isthisfrom, Die, Cheerleader, Die?" "Wanna play psycho killer?" "Can I bethe helpless cheerleader?" "Oh, sothis iswhere I'm supposed to begformy life?" "Please, Mr. Killer, don't kill me." "So isthiswhere I'm supposed to bleed?" "Oh, look, I'm bleeding!" "Oh,yeah, I'm supposed to run, right?" "Okay." "I'm running!" "I'm running!" "Help!" "Help!" "Nowl'mgonnafall andbreakmyleg, leavingmehelpless." " [ Bones Crack]" "Aah!" "Thereyou go, Mr. Scary Killer." "I'm panicking now." "Oh, God!" "Somebody please help me!" "Oh, God, no!" "No!" "Oh, nowwhat?" "I guessthis isthe big climax." "Hopeyou don'tmind ifl fake it.Aah!" "Oh, lookatme." "I'm all dead." "I'm a gross, scarysevered head." "Come on." "Please." "Doyouknowwholam?" "I'm Miss Teen." "You're reallygivingmeaheadache." "Andyou got blood all overmyGucci sweater." "I hopeyou're gonna payforthat." "Ah!" "I will not be ignored bythe likes" " I'm gonnajump!" " Phil, get back in there." " No!" " Whatareyoudoing up there?" " Be reasonable." " I can'ttakethisfuckingjob... orthose greasy shithead teenagers anymore!" "I'mgoing toenditall!" "Wait!" "Hold on!" "We're getting helpforyou!" "Nowwe know Bobby's notthe killer." "Sowho is?" "I don't know." "Ifthe killer was inyour house last night, whydidn't hejust killyou then?" "Because he'sjust messingwith us." "Don'tyou see?" "He's got us rightwhere hewants us." "We can'tgotothe police." "He'sjustoutthere watching us and waitingfor us." "Whatareyou waitingfor, huh?" "Whatareyou waitingfor?" "Whatareyou waitingfor?" "[To Himself] Whatam I waitingfor?" " [Shouting] Whatam I waitingfor?" "Whatareyou waitingfor?" "Fuckyou!" " [Crowd Gasping]" "[Woman] Oh, myGod." "Ray, I still don'tthink this party is a good idea." "You know I'm notgonna let nothin' happen toyou." " Ijustdon'tfeel right." "Whycan'twejust do something else?" " Howaboutwe gotothe movies?" "Huh?" "You likethat?" "See a little movie, huh?" "**[Hip Hop Plays OnRadio]" " Hey!" "This is mysong!" " Hey!" "You knowtheygave me a shout-outon the album, right?" "What?" "* Everywhere I go I seethe same ho's**" "Ooh, Brenda." "Did I tellyou howsexyyou look in myjersey?" " I do, Ray?" "Yes." "I like it." "Hey, get up." "Go overthere." "Letme see it." "[Giggling]" "Ooh!" "Yes, I likethat." "You likethat?" "You likethat?" "Yeah." "Hey!" " Hey, putthis on with it." " [ Laughing]" " Ray,you are sofreaky." "That's right.You know I'm freaky, girl." "Go on." "Pull it." "Pull it up." "[ Both ] Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ahh!" "Yeah." "Here." "Putthis on with it." "Goon." "Areyou sure?" "Go on, girl." "Go on." "Pull iton." "Okay." "Goon." " I likethat look." "Ooh!" "I'm bad." "Here." "Putthis on with it." "Go on, girl." "Put iton." "Yeah." "Putthatshiton there." "Come on.Justshove iton." "Doit." "Yeah." "Ooh, sofuckingsexy." "Come here, girl." "Bringyour little sexyass over here." "Come on!" "Full speed." "Charge!" "[Growling]" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Come on!" "Turn around!" "Turn around!" "Come on!" "Yes, Brendan!" "Take it, Brendan!" "Take it, Brendan!" "Who?" " Uh" " Uh, Brenda." "Putthe helmeton." "No, let's role-play." "Come on.You getme." "Come on!" "Come on!" " Huh?" "I'm here at Lover's Lookout." "It's dark, it's in the middle ofnowhere, and it'swhere hormone-driven teens loveto come and fool around." "Sovery likelywe're about to see someone get killed." "Okay, sure enough, there's a girl in thatcar, blouse unbuttoned, all alone." "Let's see ifshe'll have a word with us." "Hi." "Gail Hailstorm, authorofthe new book You're Next." "Oh,yeah." "Canyou tell usyour name?" "Well, my name's Heather." "Canyou tell uswhatyou're doing out here all alone?" "Well,yeah, sure." "My boyfriend and I were just, like, making out... and then we heard a noise outthere, so hewentto go check it, but--well,thatwas, like,ten minutes ago." "Yeah,yeah." "Has itcrossedyour little mind thatyour boyfriend was probablymurdered... andyou're about to be slaughtered next?" " Really?" "Noway!" "Way." " Heather, good luck." "Okay,thanks, Gail." "You'rethe best." " [Screaming]" "Justas I thought.The murder is happening aswe speak." "I'm goingtotryand break intothe bloodshed." "Areyou gettingthis?" "Excuse me." "Heather, canyou tell us whatyou'refeeling, honey?" "Lots ofpain." "Gail, please help me." "Gail, please!" "I'd liketo helpyou out, kid, but it's sweeps." "Sir, sir, can I geta word withyou?" "You gota lotofnerve coming here." "I'mjusttryingto do myjob." "Getthe camera offme now!" "You're dead, bitch." " No, Kenny, keep rolling!" "I'm gonna sliceyour head off and shove it up his ass." "Getthatcamera offme!" "Oh, myGod, Kenny!" "Kenny, moveyourfatass!" "Kenny!" "Oh, myGod, he's right behindyou!" "[Kenny] Thismanis chasing'Miss Gail." "[KennyGrunts] -[Thud]" "I'm so scared right now." "Ijustwantto say... tothefamily ofmycameraman, Kenny," "I am so sorry." "Thiswas my interview, mystory." "It's all myfault." "You wantsome popcorn?" " Uh-uh." "I broughtme a little snackofmyown." "[PaperRustling]" "You wantsome chicken?" " Nah." "Mm-hmm." "Forally'all talkers up in here, it'stime to keep itdown right now." "Shh." "Shh, backatyou." "Shh!" "Whytheyactin' already?" "ltain't nothin' butthe previews." "Thelargestship the worldhadeverknown." "Its400passengersandcrew onamaiden voyage toabrave newworld." "Ajourneythatwouldchange theirlivesforever." "Whoo!" "I'm the king oftheworld!" "Whoo-hoo!" " [Yells] -[Whipmaster]Getyourass back down there, boy!" " I'm gonna goto the bathroom real quick." "The movie aboutto come on." "I gotta gotothe bathroom." "Here.Takeyour hotsauce." "[ Brenda ] Hurry up, man." "Don't be long." "Back up!" "Let him through!" "You can move backsome." "You don'town thetheater." "[MenChattering]" "[BelIRings] -[Announcer]Andthey're off!" "It'snumberthreein thelead." "Numbertwo closebehind." "Andnumberthree is the winner!" "Numbertwo hasplaced, andnumberfourtoshow." "Nextweek's Triple Crown startsat2.:30." "[Trickling]" "Behere early." "[BabySounds]" "[Sounds Continue]" "[ Laughing]" "Hey,whowasthat?" "Go ahead." "Do itagain." "Do itagain." "Anon." "[Brenda] Mm-mmm." "Mm-mmm." "Mm-mmm!" "Don'tgoin there!" " [Yells] - [Screams] - [Screams]" "[ Laughing] Lord, I'm gonna have a heartattack!" "Man,this is some scaryshit!" "Oh, lamscared!" "[ContinuesLaughing]" " Excuse me." " I think I paid mymoney like everybodyelse up in here." "...outofherfavor" "Thatain't no man." " Youcanseeherrealhairrightthere!" " Doyou mind?" "I knowyou better getoutta myface!" "Outta myface!" "Outta myface!" "This is all me up in here." "You handlethat." "[Man]Willyoushutthefuck up!" "[Woman]Yeah!" "Mmm, mmm." "This movie is good." "Hey, baby." "You came backjust in time." "She'sabouttogetit on withShakespeare." "Shedressinglikeaman" "Shut up." "Yeah, I gotyou." "I gotyou on camera." "You on CandidCamera now." "You ain't knowthat." "[CelIPhoneBeeping] - [Audience Groaning]" "Hello." "Hey, girl." "Uh-uh." "I'm in themovie." "Shakespeare ln Love." "Uh-uh." "Ooh!" "Youlying." "ForChrist's sake, willyoujustshutyourtrap!" "Shut up!" " Hold on." "Idon'tknowwhyy'all isactin'likethis." "Mygirlfriend alreadyseen the movie." "She said theydon'teven staytogether in the end." "Give methat." "Righton." "Willyou sitdown." " [Groans]" "Shut up." "Yourass is grass." "This isforThelma!" "And Louise!" "This isfortalking through TheFugitive!" "You ruined Schindler'sList." "Jackie Chan movies." "Boogie Nights!" "And BigMomma'sHouse!" "[AudienceJeering]" "Aaaaaahhhhh!" "[Applause]" "Andlcannotmarrythedaughter ofSirRobertDeLesseps." "**[LoudRock]" "Um,you guys, there's a fewtoo many people." "Oh, honey, please don'tthrow-- Hey,you guys, stop." "Hey!" "Hey, please!" "That's mydad's!" " No, don'ttouch--Ah, no!" " Doyou have more beer?" " Doyou have more beer?" " Um,yeah." "Uh, check in the garage." "No, no, no, no!" "Don't!" "[MetaIClanging]" "[Sighs] Kitty,you scared me." "[Clanging] - [Whinnying]" "Horsey." "Oh,you scared metoo." "Hello?" "Who'sthere?" "Oh, myGod!" "Oh, myGod!" "Please, don't!" "Please!" "I'mjusta day player!" "[Screaming]" "Oh, myGod!" "[Screaming]" "[Screaming]" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" " [Screaming] - [ Howling]" "Yeah!" "Oh, Bobby." "Bobby." "I wasworried aboutyou." "I thoughtthe killergottoyou before I could." "Could what?" "I wanna go upstairs." "There's something I wanna showyou." " [Chuckles] Yeah." " [Chuckles] Oh,yeah." " Hey, party on!" " [All ] Yeah!" "So" "So. [Giggles]" "Herewe are... again." "Yeah. [Giggles]" "And,you know, ifyou're not ready," "I'll understand." "Bobby." "I am ready." "You are?" "Yeah." "I can't keepfighting these urges." "I havetojust give in tothem... and letthem flow." "Right." " Bobby?" " Huh?" "I have been so selfish." "This is like a scene from a movie orsomething." "Only it isn'ta movie, Bobby." "This is real life." "It's all a movie, baby." "There'sthe sound guy." "There'sthe scriptsupervisor." "Howya doin', baby?" " Bobby?" "What?" "What I mean isthat in real life... you haveto enjoy each moment." "[ Moaning]" "Mmm!" "Ow!" "[Groaning] Bobby." " [ Mumbling]" " Bobby!" "Can I tellyou a secret?" "Sure, man." "I see dead people." "[ Laughing] Man,this shit is awesome!" "Yo, son,we gotta roll some more ofthatshit!" "[Shrieking] Ah, shit!" "We don't have anymore papers, man." "We don't have anymore papers." "Oh, man!" "Whatcan we useto make a bong?" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Yeah!" "Oh, shit, son!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "Toke!" "This some good shit!" " [Shouting,Whooping]" "[Grunting]" "[Grunting]" " Bobby!" "I've neverdonethis before." "What?" "It's okay." "It's okay." "It'sjust like-- It's like sucking on a Tootsie Roll Pop." "ATootsie Pop?" "Yeah, a cherry-flavorone." "Oh." "With thefudge in the middle?" " [ Makes Sucking Sound ]" "Okay. [Giggles]" "*Showmenow Showmehow*" "*Howitfeels when we're together*" "Just likethat." "*l'm afraid ifwe wait*" "Just likethat, baby." "* We'llbe waiting tillforever** -[Crunch]" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Jesus!" "I nevercould wait to gettothe chewymiddle." "You knowwhat?" "Letme." "Oh." "Okay." "Goddamn!" "**[ManSinging, Lyricslndistinct] *l'm flyin'solo butdon'tknowifl canstop*" "*Don'taskme why Don'tmakemelie*" "*Justkickback Justsitback*" "*Enjoytheride*" "* 'Causel'm aspaceman*" " [ Bats Squeaking] -[CindyGiggles]" "Guess it's been a while." "*Sostay with me**" "Oh!" "Oops!" "[Giggling]" "It'svery, uh, '70s ofyou." "Oh,yeah." "Oh, Bobby!" "[Gagging]" "Come here, Bobby!" "I want it now!" "Oh, man, am I fuckin' stoned!" "Yeah, metoo, son." "Hey,you guys hearthat?" " [ Mimics Electronic Sound That Precedes Killer'sAppearance] - [Whimpering]" " [ Laughing]" "Oh!" "[All Laughing]" "Shh!" " [Touch Tones]" " [ Line Ringing] - [Girl ] Hello?" " Hello." "What'syourfavorite scarymovie?" " [Girl ] Hello?" "[All Laughing]" "Letmetalkto her." "Shh!" "I'm gonna gutyou like a pig!" "[All Laughing]" "Oh,yeah!" "Oh!" "Yeah!" "What's my name, Bobby?" "What?" "Ah!" "What's my name, bitch?" "Ow!" "God!" "It's Cindy!" "Whose is it, Bobby?" "Whose is it, Bobby?" "It'syours." "Ahhhhhh!" " [ Roaring]" "Oh, myGod!" "[Rumbling]" "Oh, shit!" "[Shouting]" "[ Rapping] * Don'teven contest 'Cause I'll makeyou undress*" "* Like porn dancers waitin' atthefrontdoor foran answer*" "* Hey,yo, I'm sick ofartificial MCs like siliconetitties*" "Hey,yo, check it,yo." "* Fucka cheap ball *" "* I wanna smoke Cheech and Chong*" "*And ifl wanna fuck long I letmyding-a-long hitthe bong*" "*And then the song Always passthe dutchie tothe left*" "* Becausethe rightway iswrong* [Cackling]" "Whoo-hoo!" " I gotone." "I gotone." "Here itgoes." "Ready?" "* I'm gonna slash and gash Cutanother hole inyourass*" "* I spill blood on thewalls then playtenniswithyour balls* * lfthe phone rings don'tanswerthe call *" "*Gonna slityourthroat fuckyou like a goat*" "* Peelyourforeskin off and make a wintercoat** Peace!" "Yo!" "Thatwasthe illest rhyme I everseen, son!" "Bobby..." "wherewereyou tonight?" "What?" " I wasjustcurious." "Whattookyou so long to get here?" "Whyyou so curious?" "I don't know." "I thought itwould fit the '90s horrorcliche... ifyou turned out to bethe killer." "Oh, so,what?" "You think I killed Buffyand Greg?" "Buffyand Greg are dead?" " I thoughtyou knewthat." "Oh, myGod!" "Bobby,turn around!" "It'sthe killer!" "[Screaming]" "Cindy!" " [Gasps]" "Oh, myGod!" "Bobby!" "Bobby!" "Cindy." "Help me." " Bobby, it's okay." "Gimmethe gun." "Gimme" "It's gonna be okay, Bobby." "Yo,waitforme!" "There's a killer in the house!" "There's ass, blood and guts everywhere!" "Someone done gone crazy, son!" " [Chuckling] We all go a little crazysometimes." " Bobby, no!" "Oh, shit, son!" "[Whimpering] Oh, myGod!" "[Groaning]" "Cindy, he shotme in the lungs." "[ Inhaling]" "You wanna hitthis shit?" "Ketchup." "Just like mymom puts on herspaghetti, baby." "Oh, myGod!" "Ray,you've gotta help me!" "Bobby's gone crazy!" "[Girl'sVoice] Surprise!" " [ Killer'sVoice] Surprise, Cindy!" " [Gasps]" "Whyareyou doingthis, Bobby?" "Why?" "Why?" "You hearthat, Ray?" "I thinkshewants a motive." " Did Scream have a plot?" " No." "[Chuckles] Did IKnowWhat YouDidLastSummer make anysense?" "Don'tthinkso!" "Whataboutthe sequel?" "Whatwaswith thatfat, whiteJamaican kid?" " I wanna kill thatmotherfucker." " Itwas bad casting, Bobby." "Howaboutthisfora motive?" "Lackofsex!" "Itcan cause serious deviant behavior." " I thoughtyou loved me." "Oh, I did, baby." "Idid." "Butabstinencecanmakeyou discovernewthingsaboutyourself." "That's right, Cindy." "I'm gay." "Andin caseyouhaven'tnoticed, soisRay." "What?" "I ain'tgay." "Whatareyou talking about?" "You tookmetothatclub." "So,they playgood music." "Whataboutourtrip to San Francisco,then?" " I wanted to go shopping." " Butyou made loveto me." " No." "Firstofall,you sucked my" "Whatever, Ray!" "ldon't wanttotalkaboutthisnow." "The point is, I'm a newman, and I'm readyto leave all this behind and starta new life." "Soyou killed allyourfriends?" "Oh, no." "Justyou." "And maybe Shorty, butthatwasn't planned oranything." "But here'sthe genius part." "We're copycatting a serial killer thatalreadyexists." " It'sthe perfectcrime, Cindy." " Butwait!" "There's more!" "Hang ontoyourseat, baby, 'causethis one'sascreamer!" " I'll be back." " Uh-oh." "Moveyour big ass." "Come on." " Dad!" " [Grunts]" "Whatareyou gonna do, frame him?" "Nah.We'rejust havin' a little bit offun with old daddio." "Thepolicearegonnafind youanddaddyboth dead, andmeandRayare theonlysurvivors ofa maniac'srevenge." "You ready?" "I'm ready." "You ready?" "I'm readyto dothis shit." "Come on." "Come on.All right." "All right." "Come on!" "[Shouts]" "Give itto me." "No!" "Wait,wait,wait,wait." " Ready?" "All right." "Let's dothis." "Wait,wait." "Ready." "Come on." "Come on." " Ready." "Give itto me!" "No!" "Wait,wait, wait,wait,wait!" " Rememberwhatwetalked about?" "Tothe side." " I know." " Howmanytimes we gonna go overthis?" "Okay." "Stop.Just-- All right.Trustme, okay?" "All right." "I'm ready." "Trustme." "I gotthis shit." "Ready?" "Wait,wait,wait!" " I'm aboutto cutyourthroat, boy!" "Stop acting like a little girl." "Come on." "Come on!" "You're right,you're right, you're right.Yeah, come on!" "Come on.You ready?" "No!" "Youguysarepsychos!" "You've seen onetoo manyTVshows!" "No!" "Watchingtelevision shows doesn'tcreate psycho killers!" "Cancelin'TVshows does!" "The WayansBrothers was a good show, man!" "Itwas a good-ass show, and we didn'teven geta final episode!" "Take iteasy!" "I'm feelin' a littlewoozy here!" "It's myturn." "Give methe knife." "Fuckoutta here." "Ain't nobodystabbin' me." " [CindyScreams] - [ Ray, BobbyGroaning]" "Surprise, Cindy!" "[Shouting]" "[Growling]" "[Snarling,Yelling]" "[CindyScreams]" "[Groaning]" "All right, all right." "Hold on a second." "Justgive me a moment." "Ah." "One" "[Grunting, Sighing]" "[ Bones Cracking] Oh,yeah.That's it." "Ah." "Okay." "[CindyShouting]" "**[IrishJigPlays]" "[Shouting]" " [Screams]" " Dad!" " [ Mumbling, Gasping]" "Areyou okay?" "I thought I toldyou notto have a party unless I was here." "But, Dad,you were here." "You were in the closet." "Oh,yeah,that's right." "Didyou getsome girlfriends' numbersforme?" " Dad,they're dead." "Ah,you know, I can'tgeta break." "[Siren Wailing]" "What'sthat?" "lsthatthe cops?" "Okay, okay, listen, honey." "Help me up now." "Uh" " Uh" " Ifthe cops come,tell 'em I'm a plumber, okay?" "You had a leaky faucet, andyou called, and theysentme over." "We don't knoweach other." "[Sirens Continue]" " No!" "No!" " [Tires Screeching]" "Dad, Dad, putyourarms down." "Whatthe hell's goin' on here?" "[Man]Sheriff, it'sabloodbath in there." " Hewas right here!" "I swear it!" "Whowas?" "The killer!" "The guythatmurdered all myfriends!" "And the sick bastard planted drugs all in the housethere." "All overthe place." " Dad." "Stop it." "All right, Cindy." "I'm gonna havetotakeyou down tothe station." "I'm cool,though, right?" " I'm okay?" " Let's" " Let's go, Cindy." "Cindy." "Call me." "Daddy'll getyou out, honey." "Okay." "Let's go overthis again." "You say itwas an accident." "Yes." " Hewas on the road." "Andyou think he came back to get revenge?" " It hasto be him, Sheriff." " [ Banging]" "Here, Sheriff." "Theywanted meto givethistoyou." "That'll be all, Doofy." "Okay." " I'm gonna go,then.All right." "All right." "Bye, Cind." "I'msorry, Cindy." "Itwasn't themanyouguyskilled." "His namewas David Keegan." "Somefishermen found his body a fewweeks later." " He's buried in Lakewood Cemetery." "That's impossible." "Then I don't knowwho itcould be." " He's gotta be someone... whowas connected with all thevictims, someonewho knewaboutthe accident." "Someonewho could move around without being noticed." "Oh, myGod." "She used to baby-sitmy brother Doofy." "He had the biggestcrush on her." "[Gasping] It's me, Cind." "'Night, Cind." " Doofy!" "Shithead?" " Haveyou seen Doofy?" "No." " Haveyou seen Doofy?" "Has anybodyseen Doofy?" "No, Sheriff." " No." " [ Man ] Yeah." "Justwentoutthe back, Sheriff." "[Sheriff] Doofy!" "*He walksalone underthebig citylights*" "*He alwaysknows justwhenthetimeisright*" "*He nevershows whathe's thinking He keepsitinside*" "*Becausehe's toocoolforschool*" "*He comesalive whenthesungoes down*" "*Hegetsitright Youknowhe'salways down*" "*He'sgotoneeye open andhis eartotheground*" "*Andhe's toocoolforschool*" "*He'sanoperator He'sarealplayer*" "*Andifyoumess with him youknowyou'llneverwin** - [Gasps]" "No-o-o-o-o!" "**[Song Continues, Lyricslndistinct] - [Continues Shouting]" "[Cackling] Shit, son.Yo,whatthe deal?" "Yo, ify'all watchin' thistape right now, thatmeans I didn'tmake it." "Either I'm a prisoner, orworse, dead." "Buteitherway itgoes, I'm gonna tellyou all the rules to survivethis situation." "Rule numberone:" "You gotta be quick." "Rule numbertwo:" "Don'tfall down." "And rule numberthree:" "Whateveryou do, never look back." "Y'all wish me luck." "Snatch and run,y'all!" "Come back here,you motherfuckers!" "Son ofa bitch!" "**[Rap, indistinct]" "This isn'teasyforme." "I knowwe've been togethera longtime, but I found somebodyelse." "Okay?" "I'm in love." "Don't lookatme likethat!" "[Sniffles] We could still befriends." "You can come into my room wheneveryou want." "Wejustcan't" " No." "No!" "Okay,justonetime." "[Whirring]" "Yeah.That's it!" "Whoo!" "Oh!" "[FluidBeingSuckedUp]" "[DoofyGasps] -[VacuumStops]"