"Previously on "Ugly Betty"..." "Why do they say that's not your social security number?" "You can't get one if you're in this country illegally." "I need you to find my watch." "Pretty sure I left it at some woman's apartment last week." "He dates anything that moves, and I agree to smile and take their messages." "You may want to return some of these." "Nico's called twice." "Hi, mom." "Who's filling his head with stories about me and Fey?" "Who gave my son the music box?" "I think it's time for Fey Sommers to come out of seclusion." "He could be deported?" "Very strong possibility, yes." "But he has a family." "He pays taxes." "He's a Mets fan." "He's in Oprah's book club." "Given what you've told me, it's likely your father's been red-flagged." "Red-flagged?" "Is that bad?" "It means that the government is investigating, and ultimately, a judge could rule to have you sent back to Mexico." "You coulda just said "bad."" "Mr. Suarez, there's something I have to ask." "You've been here for what, 30 years?" "All that time, you never applied for a green card." "Never began the citizenship process." "What about the amnesty in the '80s?" "I was a little busy providing for my family." "Is that such a problem?" "Dad." "Look, the past is past." "I wanna talk about now." "How much will it cost for you to help us?" "Now this meeting was pro bono." "My wife asked me because she loves your daughter's products." "Hilda, by the way, that fiber loss really cleaned her out." "But a case like this... you wanna save your father... it starts with a retainer." "20 grand?" "Do you validate?" "Hey, slow down." "Oh, after last night, I think I need a walker." "We are late." "Wilhelmina's meeting about the "Must Mode" issue's about to start." "Cruella devil can wait." "Hey, your lost watch-- did you ever figure out" " which girl's apartment you left it at?" " No, Betty never told me." "We should probably take separate elevators." "Wouldn't want the office getting the wrong idea." "Right." "Because my panties stuffed in your paper shredder probably didn't tip 'em off." "Great." "Just great." "Could I help you out?" "I got a lot of women's clothes up in my office." "Hold this, please." "Fashionable clothes..." "up in the office." "What are you doing?" "You gotta do what you gotta do." "Fastest first date I've ever had." "You can't be serious." "You actually think you've got a shot here, now?" "Just joking." "You smiled at me in the lobby." "I smiled 'cause I couldn't believe you pulled a ditch and dash with that poor girl back there." "You let it all play out in your head, didn't you?" "You, me, no one else here." "We'd be on the floor, bodies sweating, rug burn on my back." "Well, so much for that fantasy." "As we do every year for our "Must Mode" issue, your ideas, your picks, your lists will be considered for inclusion." "Nico, I told you, only emergencies." "No, you cannot submit my apartment for "Pimp Yo House."" "Good-bye." "Family is staying with me temporarily." "Remember, it's not just an "it" list." "There are personal "musts" as well." "Like must be on time." "For others, it's a bit more profound." "What's important is that we tap into the issues of our readers' lives they cannot face, move them to the next stage in their lives, promise them it won't be another year full of unanswered questions and unresolved issues," "and lest we forget, it is about the fashion "must-haves" for 2007, and I can assure you it will not include polka-dots." "That's it." "Start listing." "You have an 11:30 layout conference, and your father's office called." "There's an editors-in-chief meeting tomorrow." "So listen, there's this woman--smoking hot--works on 27." "She's not wearing a shirt, had some sort of accident." "I really--I need you to find out who she is, okay?" ""Must" hunt down Daniel's babe." "Whatever Bradford Meade does, he can't get rid ome." "Sometimes it's like she's still here." "You remember what tomorrow is, don't you?" "How could I forget?" "Nico, darling, I'm home." "What is that?" "Dinner." "You didn't have much." "My wine, and pecorino di pienza." "It's a cheese." "Goes great with pears." "And cereal goes great with milk." "How was your day, dear?" "I picked these up today-- brochures for schools in New York." "Don't be silly." "Schools here don't meet your standards." "I was thinking of the Hertzog school in Switzerland." "Expelled, remember?" "So I'm starting to think maybe boarding school's not for me." "I said the same thing to the senator when he sent me to the Chamberlin school." "He'd just won his first congressional seat." " He told me-- - "Willie, D.C. is no place for my daughter to become a young lady."" "Same thing goes for you in New York." "Boarding school has a far better education, far better people and far better food than..." "Captain Crisp." ""Cap'N."" "I don't think he's an official maritime officer." "Dad, is this everything from Mexico?" "Yeah, birth certificate, passport, maybe even an old baby picture." "Careful." "I might be naked in that one." "The lawyer's gonna need these documents." "Yeah, the lawyer we can't afford." "You know, dad, there's enough here." "You could have applied for a green card." "I mean, you were here in '86, and Reagan offered the amnesty." "I, uh..." "I missed it." "Okay?" "Look, I-I'm sorry I'm putting you through all this." "But maybe if we tighten our belts, got second jobs, maybe" "Dad, I really want to help, but my first job is hard enough as it is." "Not if you maximize your time there." "Hilda, don't go there again." "I am not gonna sell Herbalux at "Mode."" "What model doesn't wanna lose weight?" "It's easy money." "It's not the worst idea in the world." "I will set you up with a basic package just to tease 'em." "What's this?" "Looks like somebody was torn out." "Ah, it's nothing." "Just a photo of mom with an old boyfriend." "Ooh, let me see." "A boyfriend?" "I thought you said you were each other's first loves." "Can you stop with the damn questions?" "I'm going for a walk." "If it's okay, Betty." "What is with you?" "Obviously, he is sensitive about all of this." "Well, there's something he's not telling us." "We're just trying to help him, Hilda." "We deserve to know." "Doesn't that upset you?" "Of course it does, but getting upset doesn't help." "He's always been there for us, Betty." "We just--we gotta be there for him now." "Fine." "I'll sell Herbalux at "Mode."" "I mean, I'd do anything I have to, but I'm not gonna just let him off the hook, not until he tells us the truth." "Okay, give it back to me, girl." "The vita valu pack contains all essential vitamins from A to Z." "You know there's no such thing as vitamin Z?" "Hello, it's a catchy sales pitch." "And what is more important than the vitamin content?" "You get it half off when purchased with the nitro nutrient combo." "Right." "Now the customers have to have confidence in you and the product, so don't be afraid to really just put yourself out there." "Tired of sticking your finger down your throat?" "Wanna lose weight the easy way?" "Ask me how!" "Herbalux can help." "It's a good line." "I might use it." "Now you're ready for your secret weapon." "10 pounds in 10 days." "Oh, god." "Do I really need to wear that?" "I remember when I got pinned." "Shelly Jenkins did me the honor." "Did she get you a limo and a corsage?" "Can I please go to work and humiliate myself now?" "Yes." "Yes, you may." "Shelly always said, "hit 'em with the appetizer prices before lunch."" "Happy Herbaluxing!" "Good morning, Marc." "I think I have something here that might interest you." "Hmm." "Unless it's Taye Diggs covered in baby oil," "I doubt it." "I see that you're enjoying a healthy smoothie." "Did you know scientists today are making great strides in the health supplement market?" "And most of those scientists are working in the Herbalux lab in Hoboken, New Jersey." " In fact, Herbalux" " Could you please just-- 10 pounds?" " Reach for the stars." " Marc... we have some phone calls to make, don't we?" "Yeah." "Work those halls, you little diet diva." "I don't like it when she smiles." "It's so metallic." "What did she want?" "Looks like she's trying to earn a few extra pesos for something." "Interesting." "What's the status on the list of boarding schools?" "London and Milan passed." "There's still one school in Paris that hasn't heard of Nico, I think." "C'est parfait." "Get them on the phone." "Oh, and before I forget, you're meeting with Daniel's been pushed." "He's at a meeting in Bradford's office-- editors-in-chief only." "Well, I'm sure Skippy's holding his own." "My pleasure." "I like mine black, two sugars." "You want me to get you coffee?" "I think that's why you're here." "Oh, and what gave it away?" "Was it my accent?" "Actually, the fact that you're the only person here who doesn't edit a Meade publication." "You're an editor." "Wow." "I bet that gets you all the girls, huh?" "Uh, usually, my magazine's circulation count does the trick." "Circulation count." "Why?" "Is it big?" "Well, I don't like to brag, but I am in the top five." "Oh, my god." "Listen, I'm sorry." "I'm new here, and I'm not really that familiar with everyone yet." " Of course, I'm" " Daniel Meade," ""Mode" magazine-- the only one in this room who was born into his job." "All right, let's get started, everyone." "I have news." "Some might call it exciting news." "In january, Meade publishing launches a new weekly... targeting the empowered modern woman." "You'll all get the press release." "The point is, that I wish to introduce the best-selling author and editorial brains behind our new magazine, "M.Y.W.,"" "Sofia Reyes." "Sofia, what's the name of your new book?" ""Making your man a bottom."" "And Herba-aid doesn't just hydrate." "It contains protein, which helps to repair the muscle after your workout." "Terrific." "I told you you can't be here." "What is your problem?" "I was mid-sale." "Hey, hey!" "You don't want me to call the cops, do you?" " Ow!" " What could you possibly tell them?" "This doesn't concern you, ma'am." "Let me worry about that." "You worry about calling me "ma'am" again and getting this yoga mat upside your head." "Look, I was just gonna leave anyway" "Stay where you are." "You?" "You need to apologize." " Oh, me?" " Yeah." "She's the one breaking the law." "You're such a legal expert, tell me what it says in subchapter 27 of chapter 2 of title 20 of the New York City administrative code about the occupation allicensing of vendors." "Or how about the constitution, a little thing called "freedom of assembly"?" "Yeah, well, you can forget about your free towel." "That was amazing." "You know what?" "Don't tell him, but that subchapter applies to disabled veterans only." "How you doing?" "I'm Leah." "Hi." "I'm Hilda." " So you're, like, a lawyer?" " Yeah." " Oh, hold on one second." " Sure." "Hello?" "She's wearing a wedding ring, Hilda." "What are you talking about?" "The torn picture of mom." "She's wearing a wedding ring." "So?" "It's a picture of mom and dad." "No, they weren't married in '75, and dad said that was an old picture of her boyfriend." " Can you just give me one second?" " Actually, I gotta go, but if you need anything, call me." "You know, truth of the matter is, best place to find me is here." "I get my yoga on 8:00 every morning." "Okay, thank you!" "Hilda, are you listening to me?" "Yeah, yeah, I heard you." "Mystery photo." "Stop playing Nancy Drew." "You're supposed to be selling." "So how you doing?" "Betty, what are your numbers?" "Well, uh, Christina bought $10 worth of protein bars." "She likes the taste." "Of course, she eats sheep's stomach." "10 bucks?" "Great." "Well, dad could buy a set of maracas when he's sent back to Mexico." "You're not wearing the secret weapon, are you?" "I am coming down to "Mode,"" "and I'm gonna show you how it's done." "What?" "Wait, no!" "Hilda." "Oh, my god." "Oh, things with Nico are fine." "Ilse's steaming her pores as we speak." "Good." "While you've been playing mommy," "I've been planning something for Bradford." "That's right." "Today's a special day, huh?" "I wonder how he'll celebrate." "I'm sure the way Bradford Meade and Fey Sommers always celebrated their birthdays-- together." "Anything I can do to help?" "No." "It's a birthday date for two only." "I am more concerned with what you have planned for Daniel." "He seems to finding his footing there these days." "You do realize it will be impossible for us to take over the company if he's got any power there." "I know." "The little nugget remains a threat to our plans." "But short of taking a bat to his knees..." "I like where you're going." "It just occurred to me, maybe the one thing we can exploit is the person who's been propping him up all this time." "It's an emergency" "Bergmans." "Shoplifting." "Nico!" "She made me feel like a complete ass." "Women don't treat me like that." "Not the women you usually date." "Didn't I ask you to find out who she was?" "Yes, I'm sorry some things came up." "Besides, a no-shirt hottie with an accent?" "Daniel, that's every model who walks through this office." "You could have been a little bit more specific." "Daniel, Sofia Reyes." "She--she's a best-selling author." "The "Times" profiled her last month." "And, oh, yeah." "ABC News reported rumors of this magazine launch last week." "Books, newspapers, ABC News." "I pay attention to which of those?" "None." "Exactly." "She thinks I'm nothing but an unqualified himbo who got the job because of my father." "Don't say anything." "Betty, this woman had me figured out like no one I've ever met." "She was ten steps ahead of me on every point." "So just apologize." "Ah, I can't just apologize." "I mean, it's gotta be smarter." "You know, skillful." "Something... profound." "Jewelry!" "Call Nigel over at Tiffany." "Tell him to send over the usual." "Oh, miss Slater, there you are." "You put me in here." "Well, there must have been some mistake." "Obviously, you were completely unaware the dress had been placed in your bag." "Not really." "I shoved it in there." "But clearly, you thought you'd paid for it." "We'll just forget this whole mess." "You talked to my mother, didn't you?" "This store considers Ms. Slater to be one of its dearest friends." "As she does you." "Oh." "She sent her bitch." "I'll leave you two alone." "Nico..." "Marc." "Did you really think that imitating that very special episode of "Punky Brewster" was gonna get your mother's attention?" "So... this is it, huh?" "Looks like a gay version of "Star Trek."" "So you ready to start selling?" "Are you ready to start listening?" "No, I did not come here for that." "Hilda, look at this hand." "This does not belong to dad." " The pigmentation is all wrong" " Pigmentation?" "Are you selling Herbalux, or are you getting an online forensics degree?" " Hilda" " No." "The more we argue, the less we sell." "Are you serious about this?" "Because I tried." "It is just really demeaning." "I would put on a chicken suit and stand on the corner if we could make the type of cash you'd make here." "Come on." "It's for dad." "Fine, but lose that stupid cutout." "Oh, no, you did not just insult Melanie." "Five... four... three... two... 10 pounds?" "Is that, like, for real?" "What the hell is going on?" "Actually, uh, you see, it's, uh..." "Do you realize how many rules you've broken?" "Oh, really?" "Can you tell me what subchapter 20 of article, chapter 27..." "The constitution says freedom of assembly." "How cute." "Cesar Chavez in a push-up bra." "This is private property, sweetheart." "Pack up your stuff and get out." "And you, in my office." "Now!" "Candace Bushnell wants to pitch you a story on power women in Manhattan." "Tell her to call when she gets an original idea." "Multitasking?" "Oh, my new friend, Daniel Meade." "Friend?" "It didn't seem too friendly when you sent this gift back to my office." "The necklace." "It's absolutely lovely." "But not for me." "Not your taste?" "No, not for me." "It's very generic, Daniel." "It's the kind of gift you give to the girl you just banged, or the one you wanna bang." "Whoa, can we back up a second?" "You clearly have the wrong impression of me." " Really?" " Really." "Lara?" "You know, I..." "thought I recognized you." "Daniel doesn't have to know about this." "Secrets can stay between friends, right?" "Friends?" "Well, at "Mode," I think of all of us as family... and family sticks together through the good times and the bad." "Do you know Rodrigo in styles?" "Sure." "He has great taste." "Impeccable, but you wouldn't know that if an anonymous donor hadn't paid his way through design school." "Betty... strong people are the ones who ask for help." "Um... my father, uh... is going through some... some legal problems, and my family was told that for a good, supposedly great, lawyer, it would cost us $20,000." "Well, Betty, I have a daughter I would do anything for, just as you would do anything for your father," "I'm sure." "What do you want in return?" "Is that something you ask family?" "Happy birthday, Fey." "So sorry." "I wish you knew how much I missed you." "Fey?" "Do you know what this means?" "It's blood money." "It's her way of getting to Daniel." "Once you cash that, you belong to her." "No, I know that, but do you know what number one on my "must" list is?" "Getting my dad a lawyer." "This could be the answer to my family's problems." "That's what they say in the movies, then they have to kill someone" " or sleep with them or both." " And my dad" "Enough about the mystery photo." "Enough about the evil queen's check." "So what am I supposed to do?" "It's half price night here at the Rack, which is why" "I dragged you hed -- to let go." "Which is why I'm making that the number one priority on your "must" list tonight." "Well, that's easier said than done." "Why do you think god invented alcohol?" "Excuse me." "I'll have what she's having." "I thought I threw that out." "What are you doing up?" "I had work to do." "Furs for the "must" list." "Care to look at them?" "Fur is murder." "I bought you a Nicole Miller fur at for your 10th birthday." "How could I forget?" "It was my 11th birthday." "And you had me model it for a photo shoot, which you didn't even show up for." "I believe the excuse was dinner with Oscar de la Renta." "Someone had to convince him that fishnets were only meant for stockings." "Nice to know you have priorities." "Kind of like today." "Oh, that's right, today was your little cry for help, wasn't it?" "That was amateur, darling." "When I was 15," "Mikhail Baryshnikov came to the Salem Academy." "Afterwards, I was caught doing a little dance of my own for Misha." "Now that is acting out." "How proud you must be." "You don't get it, do you?" "Act out as much as you want." "I did." "Seven schools... until it finally hit me... until I finally understood." "Being away from home, being away from the ones you love, makes you strong, builds your armor." "Because in the end, the only person in this world you can depend on is yourself." "It's the greatest lesson the senator ever taught me." " Mom" " Brush up on your french." "You leave for school in Paris tomorrow night." "So... um... is everything okay?" "The flag was kind of at half-mast." "Would it be generic if I sent you a necklace from Tiffany?" "Oh, no." "I loved it." "You sent it to me after our first night together." "Of course I did." "And if I sent to you as a... sort of an apology, that'd be okay, right?" "Well, that depends." "Are you apologizing for something in particular?" "Yeah." "Making an ass out of myself with Sofia Reyes, the editor of "M.Y.W."" "I sent her a necklace as an apology gift, and she called me out on it." "Oh." "So the whole apology thing was about her, not me." "What do I have to apologize to you about?" "Nothing..." "I guess." "You know, I'm not feeling too well." "I think I'm gonna go." "You okay?" "Yeah, I, uh..." "I think I feel one of those 24-hour flus coming on." "I should go before I get you sick." "Whoops." "That step's a tough one." "Why are you sneaking in through the back?" "Are you drunk?" "Yeah, a little bit." "I'm going to bed." "No, no, no, no, come on." "Let me get you some water." " No, I'm fine." " Come on." "Dad, let me go!" "What's the matter with you?" "What's going on?" " Talk to me!" " Talk to you?" "Why don't you talk to me?" "Why don't you tell me why mom is wearing a wedding band in this picture?" "Or who's the guy in the photo with her, really?" "There you go." "I don't have to explain myself to you." "I'm your father." "Then act like it." "I've always looked up to you, dad." "Right, wrong, I could just take your lead." "Now I'm lost." "A little less slamming, please." "Here." "You're gonna need this." "Thanks." "So... dad left early this morning." "I don't really want to talk about this." "Well, it's a little too late for that now." "I heard what you said last night." " So did half of Rego Park." " I'm sorry." "Apologizing to me isn't gonna change what happened." "What went on after I left the office yesterday?" "I got punished." "Is this real, or is this one of those Ed McMahon things?" "It'll cash." "20 grand." "So cash it." "This is the answer" "Hilda, look closer." "Wilhelmina Slater?" " Oh, that stuck-up" " Exactly." "She'll want me to sell Daniel out so she can take his job." "Her money, my soul." "Look, I'm gonna try to figure something else out, okay?" "See if there's another way." "But this might be our only option." "Can I get the number for Fashion TV, please?" "What the hell just happened?" "You're getting back at me, aren't you?" "For yesterday?" " You planned this." " Planned this?" "Are you s" "Yeah." "I got a side job with the elevator union." "Really?" "I'll take the stairs next time." "Do you always get the last word in?" "Only with you, baby." "Great." "Last time this happened was four hours of Kevin Federline trying to cornrow my hair." "No reception." "What now?" "I think we're between floors." "If I could just get up there," "I could pry the door open on the next floor." "Somebody's seen "Die hard" too many times." "Oh!" "God forbid you wrinkle your jacket." "Listen, how about we do the obvious?" "Come on." "Give me a boost." "Are you serious?" "On your knees." "And, Daniel, don't look up." "Don't flatter yourself." "Good, 'cause I'm not wearing any underwear." "You okay?" "Yeah." "You looked, didn't you?" "Hilda." "You gonna make me lose another free towel?" "No, I really wanted to talk to you." "Um... have you ever done any immigration work?" "In this neighborhood?" "And besides, once I got my degree, my uncle Abraham turned his place into the israeli underground railroad." "You in some kind of trouble?" "If I tell you something, do we have that attorney-client privilege thing?" "That only works if I'm your lawyer." "You know, but for now, you got something stronger than that-- my word." "And for that, it'll only cost you a cup of coffee and a bialy." "Come on." "I didn't feel like working out anyway." "Still haven't cashed it, I see." "Um, no, I haven't really had a chance." "Or haven't made the effort?" "Steel yourself, Betty." "Think about what's best for you." "That's how we survive in this business." "Wilhelmina, you might want to get down to the lobby, like, right now." "It's Nico." "You, too." "I think we might actually see a live execution." "Open your eyes, people." "It's time to wake up." "The "Must Mode" issue promotes the unwarranted slaughter of innocent animals." "And it is the fault of one woman" "Wilhelmina Slater!" "Nico, please, you're causing a scene" "Great." "Can't wait to see how Wilhelmina Slater will handle this one." "So sorry I'm late." "Thank you for coming." "Ah, good to see you." "Nico, step into the good light." "Thank you so much for coming, ladies and gentlemen." "The "must" debate of 2007." "Animal rights versus fashion rights-- just who is right?" "Well, you're gonna have to wait until the "Must Mode" issue is on sale, january 2007." "Thank you so much for coming." "Good-bye." "You win." "I'll go to school in France, anywhere you want, but I'm not going quietly." " We'll talk upstairs." " No!" "We'll talk now." " I am your mother." " Mother?" "Then maybe you should act like it." "But I guess you don't have a clue where to start." "I mean, have you ever even called the senator "dad"?" "Never, huh?" "Is that armor so thick you can't even feel anything anymore?" "Was that the goal?" "Then congratulations." "You're putting together your "Must Mode" issue." "Things you must do." "You know what your number one "must" should be?" "Learning how to be a mother." "I appreciate your kindness, but I can't cash that." "Of course you can't." "Good luck with your family situation, Betty." "They're never easy." "I just wanted to say good-bye." "I think you said enough downstairs." "Marc booked you a flight for Paris." "You leave tonight at 9:00." "I'll go back to your place and pack my stuff." "Nico, contrary to what you might think," "I do love you." "And I..." "I only want what's best for you." "You want what's best for you." "All right." "Yeah." "Hey." "I had it." "Your lost watch." "You left it at my place last week." "Surprise." "Right?" "You never even thought to consider me." "I'm just a late night call to you." "You need to find whatever it is you're looking for, Daniel." "I just know now that it's not me." "I'm--I'm sorry." "Amanda..." "Well?" "I checked it out." "Nothing." "The security cameras at the cemetery didn't catch a thing." "No Fey Sommers hanging out at her crypt." "I saw her." "I'm sure of it." "How many times I gotta say this?" "She's dead." "You're going crazy, you know that?" " Damn it, I saw her." " Whatever, old man." "Yeah, it's me." "Remember that associate I told you about?" "We need to have a long conversation about him." "Dad." "Do you remember when we danced at my quinceañera, and I broke my heel?" "And I was so upset, I wanted to run away, but you wouldn't let me." "You just held me tighter, and we kept on dancing." "You're our rock, dad." "And I'm sorry for what I said and how I acted." "I'm just gonna have to forgive and forget, and... whatever it is, you don't owe us an explanation." "Ramiro Vasquez." "The man in the picture." "Your mother was married to him." "Sit." "He was a... a wealthy man." "I was his chef." "Whenever I would cook food for them, I..." "I always hoped your mother would look my way." "One night, uh, she did, and after that, we fell in love." "Dad, if this is too hard for you..." "No, no, I..." "I owe this to both of you." "I could only sit back so long and let him treat her the way he did." "I remember hearing her screaming, her crying, when he hit her, and finally one night, I couldn't take it anymore." "Next thing I know, he'd pulled a knife." "So I..." "I hit him." "Just kept hitting him." "After that, we ran... and I never looked back, because I vowed I'd never take my eyes off your mother again." "I never applied for a green card or amnesty because" "I was afraid they'd send me back." "I killed Ramiro Vasquez."