"Although there are over eight million people on Manhattan, there are times when you still feel shipwrecked and alone, when even a resourceful survivor puts a message in a bottle or on an answering machine." "This is Aidan." "I'm not in." "Leave a message." "Strong arms!" "Strong arms!" "Earth to heaven!" "Every movement has a meaning!" "What did it mean that I wanted to talk to my ex-boyfriend?" "I've been making faux calls to Aidan." "When you have no idea what you'd say if he answered." " It's emotional Russian roulette." " You call and hang up?" " That's pretty much it." " Why do that?" "I don't even know why I'm telling you." "Don't tell anybody else." "Carrie, tell them." "That I'm not doing African dance again or that you can't keep a secret?" " Carrie's calling Aidan." " And hanging up!" " Why are you calling him?" " I think I want him back." "How do I do this?" "First, you have to accept that he might not want to hear it." "I accept that." "How do I do this?" "You don't." "One word: granola." "So not you." "He stripped her floors!" "Just get rid of the turquoise and the tummy." "The tummy is gone." "At that thing last week, he looked disturbingly good." " He's the new improved Aidan." " Low-fat granola." "He looks good, but that's not why I want him back." "I miss him." "Did you miss him before you saw him?" "I miss him." "I have missed him for months." "You need a safe approach in case he rejects you." "E-mail him." "I'm an old-fashioned gal." "I prefer calling and hanging up." "You've got to get online, if only for the porn." " Please stop sending me those." " It's funny!" "I can't get e-mail just for Aidan." "That's pathetic." " You can shop online!" " No, shopping is my cardio." "I know what you do." "Don't call him." "Don't e-mail." "Just show up at his furniture store wearing these." " What are those?" " Fake nipples!" " Why are we carrying them?" " They're a promotional thing." "Is there a Nipple Council?" "Nipples are huge right now." "Open any magazine." "It's not that cold." "They're tweaking or wearing these." " I want to see how they work." " Samantha already leads with her breasts." " Miranda, you try them." " That I'd like to see!" "I'm not certain, but I think my boobs were just insulted." "Cover me." "That's it." "That's obscene!" "Walk." "We have replaced Miranda's nipples with rubber ones." "Let's see what happens." "I want my nipples back." "The next day, sans nipples, Miranda's cardio put mine to shame." "Training for the marathon wasn't the only thing getting her heart rate going." " Are you in the right group?" " Ten-minute mile?" " I was here last week." " I know, but we never get any cute guys in this group." " They're in the seven-minute group." " So I'm the cutest of the slow guys?" "Knee surgery." " Have you run the marathon before?" " The past four years." " What about you?" " First time." " We should train during the week." " Are there runs then?" "I don't know." "I meant the two of us." "Sure." "That would be great." "Miranda was thrilled, but she still wasn't sure if he was interested in anything more than a running buddy." "Uptown, Charlotte's marathon redecoration continued." "I can't believe I questioned this wallpaper." "I love this wallpaper!" "And I love you." "I guess we're done with this room." "Time to move on to the study." "One room in every marriage forces the question," ""How long do we want it to be just the two of us?"" "It's right off our bedroom, so..." "What do you want to do with the room?" "It could be a good room for a B-A..." "B-Y?" "We already have enough bathrooms." "Trey and Charlotte were finally on the same page and the page had a baby on it." "Meanwhile, Samantha went shopping, nipples blazing, and picked up a '94 Cabernet and an '84 Harvard MBA." "This is nothing!" "It's a blip!" "No, we can't retract it!" "Warren Dreyfous founded a communication strategy firm that made the Exxon oil spill an incident rather than a debacle." "I've got to go." "Next time, talk to me before you talk to the press." "Sorry about that." "About the phone or staring at my nipples?" "About talking on the phone." "That night, I tried to compose my first e-mail, a witty, yet sexy, yet sensitive note to Aidan." ""l miss you."" ""Do you miss me?"" "Across town, Samantha was getting some male as well." "As a lover, Warren was fantastic, but as a communication strategist, he made one major mistake." "Samanfa, does your 'gina-wina want a widdle visit fwom my Mister-Mister?" "He didn't say that?" "It's not what he said, it's how he said it." "In baby talk." "How can they think baby talk's sexy?" "It's like putting ketchup on prime ribs." ""Stop!" "You're ruining it!"" "It's such a shame." "This guy is hot!" "I had to sit on his face to shut him up." "Some men use baby talk to avoid intimacy." " Others don't respond to e-mail." " Aidan still hasn't replied?" "14 hours, but who's counting?" "Oh, my God!" " lsn't this adorable?" " lsn't it a wee bit small?" "Guys, Trey and I are trying to have a baby." " Why?" " Shouldn't you wait a while?" " You just got back together." " I can't wait!" "I'm the oldest woman I know who doesn't have a baby!" "The oldest married woman who wants one." " I'm very happy for you." " Thanks." "I won't become a mother who only talks about Diaper Genies." "Good!" "Look over here!" "What the hell's a Diaper Genie?" "Someone you hire to change your kid's diaper?" "Tricia Watson was one of those hip moms for whom Barneys would always be stores, not dinosaurs." "Cliff told me you and Trey are back together." "I'm so glad." " This is Mary Elizabeth." " Hello, I'm Charlotte." "Pleased to meet you." " Trey and I are trying to get pregnant." " Great!" "Come over for dinner this week." "We just redecorated our dining room." "I'd love to, but try finding a sitter for three kids." "I can't believe I'm 34 with three kids!" "I invited the Watsons and their kids for dinner Tuesday." "Charlotte, 35 with no kids, decided it was time to get serious." "Next day, I worked on a little piece I was calling" ""36 Hours And Still No Response From Aidan."" "The Indians had to wait up to six months for a response." "It took me six months to realise I wanted to be with Aidan and now I couldn't wait." "Are all these improvements helping us communicate?" "In matters of love, do actions really speak louder than words?" "I decided to take action and this time he answered." " Why won't you answer my e-mail?" " Who is this?" "It's Carrie." "I was just asking if you got my e-mail." "Shoegal." "That's my screen name." " I got it and deleted it." " That's not very neighbourly." "I get so much junk mail." "If I don't know an address..." "I have the opposite problem." "I've had one e-mail from Miranda and a welcome from AOL." "What did it say?" "Just how to use the different features and, you know, "welcome"." "No, the one you..." "The one I...?" "The one to you." "It doesn't matter." "Do you know what I was thinking?" "You, Steve, Miranda and me could go out." "Just as a...fun group thing." " Sounds good." " Great." "So I'll set it up?" "Meanwhile, Miranda's run led to "want to come up for coffee?"" "and led her to believe that Marathon Man could be more than a running buddy." " I'm all sweaty." " You taste great." "Did you get my e-mail about our double whatever?" " Yes, and I'm ignoring it." " I'm not impressed with e-mail." " Why would I go out with Steve?" " You're not." "You're my air bag in case of impact." "Steve's going as Aidan's air bag." "Would you explain that to Steve?" "I'm dating other people now." "Marathon Man?" " We slept together after our run." " I guess he was interested." " Did he live up to his nickname?" " It was good." "Except he kind of..." "Iicked my butt." " Be specific." "The cheeks?" " It was more localised than that." "Wait a minute." "Are we talking tuchus-lingus?" "I'm afraid so." "And it was weird." "It's weird, right?" "Are we doing this now?" " If the guy's willing, why not?" " Anyone other than Samantha?" "I never had a guy do the TL on me." "One time it almost happened, but I got the feeling he lost his way." "Trey likes to do it." "We're married." "I'm definitely in the slow group if even Charlotte is open to it." "Something's happening with men and the ass." "The last few guys I've been with were much more eager to attend to it." "How did they get the message that the ass is now on the menu?" "One loud mouth guy found a woman who loved it and said, "Women love this!"" " Who is this guy?" " Who's the woman?" "Don't knock it until you try it." "Maybe I shouldn't have pulled away so fast." "Am I out of the ass loop forever?" "I can't ask for it." "Just lean into it!" "No words necessary." "He'll get the signal." "But then do I have to reciprocate?" "No." "I would never do it back to them" " Neither would I." " Me neither." "You wouldn't?" "That night, Charlotte performed a more traditional wifely duty." "She cooked dinner for their guests." "Go ahead, everyone." "This looks amazing, Charlotte." " Trish is amazed that anyone cooks." " Three kids keep her busy." "I don't want to sit next to the lady!" "That's one." " How many does he get?" " 45." "I don't want to!" " We can rearrange." " It's fine." " Do you need your inhaler?" " He's asthmatic." " Won't play much sport." " Not all boys have to play sports." "Don't talk to me like you do the kids." "Up here!" " Fancy shoes, Hank." " They used to be mine." " He won't go anywhere without them." " Don't talk like that!" "Don't talk to me like that!" "That night, Trey and Charlotte didn't have sex or the next night, either." "This time, inaction was speaking louder than words." "The pest-control guy sticks some dead ones on a strip..." "I, on the other hand, was full of words." "I say to him, "Sir, what are they?"" "He says, "l don't know." "That's why I'm sending them to the lab."" "This is New York." "He's a pest guy." "He doesn't know what I've got and that isn't good!" " I've got to take a leak." " I was going to go." "Men don't do that." " Women can, men can't." " You should go." " Break with convention." " I'm man enough." "We're already partners in a bar." "People are going to talk!" "We're going to the bathroom." "Aidan needed an air bag in the bathroom." "I think I'm OK." " I mean I think you can go." " I don't even get flan?" "If you don't leave now, we'll have to end the night together." "Hug, share cabs." "Then I won't have any time alone with him." "Can you take Steve with you?" "Thank you for walking me home." "You live near the restaurant." "It's the least I could do." " Good to see you tonight." " I want to get back together." "I was afraid you were going to say something like that." "I was willing to try the friendship thing, but I can't do the relationship thing." "But you..." "You put your hand on my hand." " What?" " At the restaurant." "You..." "I was trying to make you comfortable." "You just seemed so nervous telling that bug story." "Then I guess I should..." "Good night." "Good night." "Miranda didn't answer her phone." "I left a message and started to send her a desperate e-mail." "I was about to call you." "I was lM-ing with Marathon Man." "Interesting." "Will your tuchus be wanting lingus?" "If things work out between us, we never had that conversation." " He's coming over." " You'll be having dessert after all." "What happened to my air bag?" "Steve tried to kiss me!" "Aidan kissed me!" "We miss-kissed." "I wasn't going to, but then he kissed me." "What does that mean?" "God, he's online!" "Can he see me?" " Step away from the computer." " I'm going back." " To Aidan's?" " I know he's home." "Send him an e-mail." "He'll say that he doesn't want to see me, but I know he does." "His words said no, his kiss said yes." "That's the defence of date rapists." "I know he still feels it." "When men attempt bold gestures, it's generally considered romantic." "When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psycho." "I was hoping to prove I was neither." "Hi, again." "You haven't been out here since I went up, have you?" " No!" "I went home." " And you came back?" "I came back." "You see, I think..." "I feel fairly certain that there is still something between us." "I had a nice time tonight with you." "I did." "But I want to leave it at that." "Can I come up and talk to you for a few minutes?" " I don't think that's a good idea." " Because of what might happen?" "Because it's not a good time." "I know that you're probably scared." "I would be too." "But it's different now." "Things are different." "I'm different." "Wait a second." "Cigarettes." "Gone." "Seriously, all bad habits gone." "This is a whole new thing because I miss you." "I've missed you." "It's not just because you look so good, but you do." "I lie in bed at night and I think about us, about you holding me..." "You broke my heart!" "Samanfa, I wuv your titty-witties!" "As I was wishing I had said nothing, Samantha decided to say something." "You're a great fuck, but I don't need the baby talk." "You don't have to call these titty-witties." "They're my breasts." "You don't have to say anything about them." "It's just sex and it's fine." "Would you please come out of there?" "Can we talk about this like adults?" "We're not finished." "I was very closey-wosey." "OK, you can call them titty-witties." "I'm leaving." "I've got an early day tomorrow." "Don't pout!" "We were having such a nice time." "It was only a suggestion." "Where are my shoes?" "Samantha realised she wore the nipples and attracted a big baby." "Speaking of babies, Charlotte and Trey still were not." "This was delivered today." "I ordered it a week ago." "They needed time to engrave it." "I totally forgot." ""We had each other, and then we had you," ""and then we had everything." "Love, Mommy and Daddy."" "It's completely premature." "I was just so excited." "And now?" "Do you not want a baby any more?" "Of course I do." "Don't you?" "We stopped trying after the Watsons came over." "Kids don't even want to sit by me." "I want to sit next to you." "I knew Cliff and Tricia when they got married." "They were so in love." "And now they're just..." "Parents." "Maybe if we only have one child?" "One to start." "See how we do." "Besides..." "Then Trey told the lie that all parents-to-be have to tell themselves." "Our kids will be different." "The experience had them a little rattled, but that night Trey and Charlotte made love and possibly a baby." "Downtown, Miranda seemingly had her communication problem licked." "She felt like she should do something in return." " Would you like a massage?" " I would love one." "I don't want to do that!" "Why didn't you just say you weren't interested?" "This time, we didn't need any words." "You want to do this to make up for the past?" "Relieve your conscience?" "Because we're OK?" "I've mentally kicked your butt all over Manhattan." "I'm fine now." "No." "No, I just..." "I love you." "I still love you." "I just..." "I wish that I could be your girlfriend again." "I need to think about that." "His actions said he still loved me or maybe he just missed me." "Or maybe he needed closure." "Maybe I'd never know." "The next morning, due to sheer embarrassment," "Miranda got what she needed:" "a running buddy who pushed her into the nine-minute mile group." "I still had no response from Aidan." "Carrie!" "You up there?" " OK, let's give it a shot." " Really?" " Do you want to come upstairs?" " I promised Pete a walk." " You want to go for a walk?" " Yeah." "Let's go for a walk." "Don't move, OK?" "I'll be right there!"