"(BUZZlNG)" "Sorry." "I have to go to work at 7:00." "That's okay." "I have to get up, too." "7:00, huh?" "Think we have time?" "Yeah, I could've made it in half." "Do you realize how great this is?" "The sex?" "The whole thing." "The sex." "We like to hang out together, we make each other laugh." "You want to waste time talking about feelings or you want to get busy?" "(laughing)" "You have a boyfriend?" "Come on, Polly, you know I don't need a boyfriend." "Anyway, I'm too busy." "That what I think." "Mani, pedi, waxing, always busy." "Then I meet Chung Ho." "Chung Ho?" "Mmm." "Marquez?" "Ah!" "Check." "Thank you." "He have a good job, make part for spa no one else make." "Very rich." "And he hung like donkey." "That's great, Polly." "Good for you." "And he use fingers special way." "Not in regular place, not the back door." "In between." "What the hell?" "I know." "I surprise, too." "But it feel so good." "You want me show you?" "They made a mistake on my check." "This is way too low." "Oh, no!" "This no good." "Smudge work of art!" "I have to get to the bottom of this." "Okay, you see who up to monkey business." "I love you." "Danny." "Is there any way you could spare a teensy bit more closet space?" "My stuff is getting kind of smushed." "Whatever you need." "Hi." "You seen Sam?" "No." "Hey..." "You think Delinda and I should move in together?" "Is there something I don't know about?" "Another impromptu proposal?" "Bun in the oven?" "No, no, it's just that we spend virtually every night together." "She's already leaving her toothbrush, her clothes, her curlers..." "Sounds like she's pretty much living there already." "Yeah." "Well, I don't mind." "It's just, you know, I figured..." "Why not consolidate, then?" "Right." "Save some money." "Exactly." "Come on, man." "You know this ain't about saving money." "Then what's it about?" "Sex." "Love." "Convenience." "In this case, Ed." "Look, we're adults, okay?" "We can make our own decisions." "And I'm..." "I'm not afraid of Ed." "That's the story you're sticking with?" "Yeah." "Right on, brother." "Right on." "Hey." "Excuse me." "What'd you find out?" "Well, your check was low because three of your clients stiffed us." "Three in the same two-week period?" "Mmm-hmm." "Sort of the perfect storm of deadbeats." "Nelson Fox..." "No, he wrote a check." "From a closed account." "Gerald Staley..." "He said he'd send a check." "He didn't." "And Billie Pierce." "I saw her in the office on her way out." "Shoulda, woulda, coulda." "You need to do something." "I'm afraid this is Ed's department." "Really, Ed, you have the cameras, secret contacts." "I know you can find them." "I don't need to find them." "I know exactly where they are." "So what are we waiting for?" "We're taking the steps we take." "Look, I'm sorry you hit the trifecta, Sam." "But it is our corporate policy not to take aggressive action unless the debt exceeds $250,000." "Okay, great." "Well, their combined debt exceeds half a million." "Listen, I know I'm not supposed to get my commission..." "It is not cost effective." "Look, these kind of people, they can't stay away." "They have a real tough time staying away." "So the minute they come back, boom!" "We got them." "Ed?" "Yeah?" "I have to send my aunt some money for an operation she needs." "Sam, you have to send your aunt some money?" "All right, I bought a new car." "I really need the money." "Okay." "I will make one of our corporate jets available to you." "Fox is in LA." "Staley's in Denver." "And Pierce is in Caracas." "But forget about Pierce, okay?" "Forgot Pierce." "Okay." "Right." "Okay." "Okay, so I just go and I say, "Ed says..."" "No, no, no, no." "What you will do is you will call this guy..." "Okay and he will collect the money." "You tell him that I gave you his number." "Okay." "And understand that this is a strictly off-the-books job." "Of course." "And tell him I don't want another Akron." "What's Akron?" "Less than professional conduct." "Does he beat people up?" "He will take a percentage of what he collects and it's up to you two to work the rest of it out." ""Warren Pemberton."" "Sounds like a professor." "Believe me, you don't want Warren teaching you a lesson." "Ta-ta." "I like him already." "Eight, nine, 1,000..." "(CHEERlNG)" "You must be Warren." "Warren Pemberton." "Here's your table." "Look, sweetheart, we're having a meeting here." "Don't sit anybody near us, okay?" "Of course." "I have written down the names and addresses of our subjects." "Subjects?" "I don't know if Ed told you, but I'm not the fbi." "What should I call them?" "How about "douche bags that owe me money"?" "Well, there's the names of the two douche bags who owe me 380 grand." "Third one owes me 120 grand but she's out of the country." "I'm gonna need business addresses." "Country clubs, places of worship..." "HOSTESS:" "Right this way." "...and where their kids go to school." "Listen, Warren, I know that you might have to use some form of intimidation, but you're not gonna actually hurt anybody, right?" "Did Ed tell you what a monster I am?" "(laughing)" "(TlTTERlNG)" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "He told me you get the job done." "That's right." "Yeah..." "But not by killing and maiming." "I mean, what sense would that make?" "I kick a guy's face in, he may pay off, but he may go to the cops and have me arrested for assault." "Let me tell you something." "I show up on your doorstep." "Unless you're a complete moron, you're gonna pay." "Two reasons." "One, if the hotel's sending me, you know they're serious and you're not getting a pass." "Two, everyone has an imagination." "Now, it's only natural for you to imagine what a guy like me will do if you don't pay." "That's all I need." "Imagination." "Okay." "Don't worry." "No violence." "Great." "Can I get you something?" "On the house." "And I get 20% of the take." "Could you live with 10%?" "Now why would I do that?" "Why not?" "15%." "Done." "I come with you." "You come with me?" "Oh, yeah." "I come with you." "How else am I gonna know how much money you get out of these people?" "Should I believe what you tell me?" "You know, you're lucky I have a soft spot for ballsy chicks." "MAN:" "A winner!" "Becky." "Hi." "How are you?" "Good." "Good to see you again." "Good to see you." "Where's Don?" "Oh, over there, gambling away a small fortune as usual." "I snuck over to ask a favor." "Yeah, sure." "Whatever you need." "Don's 40th birthday is this weekend, and as his present, I wanted to give him a day with Ed Deline." "A day with me?" "I mean, I can understand a day without me, but..." "You don't understand." "Ed, can I be completely honest with you?" "You only know Don as the high roller who shows up every few months." "I live with him." "Don has no personality." "He's boring and spineless." "Can I be perfectly honest with you?" "Please." "I mean if the guy is such a loser, why'd you marry him?" "Money." "Does he know that?" "Oh, of course not." "Look, if you can just toughen him up a little, impart a little of that reckless charm of yours, maybe I could learn to love him." "I guess it's a favor for both of us." "Spend his money now, learn to love him later." "(GlGGLlNG) Hopefully." "Right." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I mean, what the hell?" "Guy only has one 40th birthday, right?" "Thank you so much." "Oh, sure." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Polly." "You have a minute?" "Sure." "Oh, Delinda look nice." "Breast perky." "Men like." "Me like, too, you know." "Actually, I had a man-related question." "I heard you just moved in with a guy." "Oh!" "Chung Ho." "Sam tell you how he use a finger?" "Find V-spot?" "No." "I was just wondering, see, Danny and I, well, we're sort of thinking about living together and..." "Are you just glad you did?" "Oh, happy like a clam." "Bearded clam." "That joke." "Oh!" "But living with Chung Ho make tired, too." "You know, hide salami every minute." "You like that?" "I don't know about every minute." "I get home now so Chung Ho do Abraham Lincoln." "Oh..." "I play slave, he free me, his favorite." "Okay, you decide Danny for self." "Okay." "Hey, Mike." "Dunder-Mifflin just booked another ballroom." "So you might want to get some extra security guards." "Thanks." "Will do." "Mmm-hmm." "Good." "So, are we cool now?" "Yeah." "For the record, I never thought "happy, sweet Mary"" "was always as happy and sweet as everyone else did." "Oh, you could tell, huh?" "Yeah." "How often were you faking it?" "About a third of the time." "Yeah." "And then I stopped pretending." "And that helped." "And then I became more assertive." "And that helped." "And then I started going out with Casey and I thought that was helping until he ran away with his bodyguards." "And then this whole Danny and Delinda thing that I shouldn't give a rat's ass about, but I do." "I don't know." "Maybe nothing changes, right?" "Sounds like DS." "Discombobulation Syndrome." "I had it and I'll tell you how to get rid of it:" "Self-confidence revitalization." "I don't know who is more full of crap, you or Dr. Phil." "I'm serious." "A few years ago, I was sort of confused about my life's direction." "Down in the dumps." "And what got me out of that was confronting my biggest fear, which, at the time, was snakes." "So, I went to a reptile park and handled a boa and python for half an hour." "Since then..." "Well, let's just say it's Mike Cannon's world and y'all just living in it." "You really are full of crap." "I really appreciate this, Ed." "This is what you wanted for your birthday?" "A day with me?" "My wife thinks it'll help me." "Inspire me." "But is it what you want?" "Honestly, I wanted to go to Saint Barts with Becky, but she didn't want to." "She likes Vegas." "She likes the shopping." "It is your 40th birthday, isn't it, Don?" "I mean, you're supposed to be doing what you want to do." "You and Becky ever do that?" "What you want to do?" "Yeah, she's pretty set in her ways." "And I don't like confrontation." "Well..." "We're going to try to change that." "Because confrontation is what I do best." "WARREN:" "Yeah, I never liked LA." "Why not?" "I prefer a more vibrant local theater scene." "I got you." "No, you didn't." "Just for the record, I've never been to a play." "Good, 'cause I hate plays, especially musicals." "Oh, this is it." "Not driving in?" "You gotta be buzzed in and out of the driveway." "That gate's open." "We might have to leave in a hurry." "(DOORBELL rings)" "May I see Mr. Fox, please?" "One moment, please." "Mr. Fox." "Warren Pemberton." "I work for the Montecito Hotel." "Look, I'm sure it's just an oversight, but seeing as how you owe the hotel a considerable amount of money," "I thought it'd be easier for you if I came down here in person to collect." "Listen, Mr..." "Pemberton." "Right." "I don't like people showing up at my house uninvited, Mr. Pemberton." "Particularly people like you." "And as far as this supposed debt goes... (GRUNTS)" "It's not a "supposed debt," pal." "It's as real as it gets." "My checkbook's inside, or you can follow me to the bank." "Go get it." "What happened to "no violence"?" "You know, I don't know what came over me." "Hmm." "Next stop, Denver." "So, all things being equal..." "I would've preferred nonviolence, but all things being equal, I liked it." "(laughing)" "So what happened to all your concerns about assault charges?" "It was just to reassure you." "The fact is, they all know that even if I go away, there'll be 50 guys just like me ready to show up at their doorstep." "Yeah, when did you decide to pound him?" "Tell me you can't pay." "Tell me you won't pay." "But don't tell me you don't owe." "That's just disrespectful." "Want to grab a drink?" "You know, it's getting late." "I'm gonna go upstairs and go to bed." "I'm a little wired, so I'm gonna go grab one." "Or three." "Or seven." "Down here. 9:00 a.m." "Yes, sir." "(PEOPLE chattering)" "Hey." "Hi." "Hey." "I've been thinking about what you said." "About how petting snakes changed your life." "I wouldn't say "petting."" "They were all over my shoulders, Mary." "My neck." "It..." "But that's great." "What is the fear you want to overcome?" "Bungee jumping?" "Spiders?" "Stand-up comedy." "Seeing it?" "Doing it." "Terrifies me." "Every time I see a stand-up, I think what would happen if nobody laughed and how horrible that would be for the comic." "It's not your traditional biggest fear, but..." "So, I'm gonna do it." "There's an open mike tomorrow at the Comedy Corral." "Do you have any material?" "Yeah, I'm working on some "bits," I think they call them, about the airlines." "Always funny." "It is, right?" "Mmm." "Will you come with me?" "Wouldn't miss it." "Thank you." "Hey, you know, this has been great, Ed." "Above and beyond." "But I've taken up too much of your time already." "Don, I'm sorry." "I know it's been a boring day for you." "Not at all." "But most of my days aren't like this." "This was very unusual." "And because of that," "I wasn't able to show you how to, you know, assert yourself." "I mean, all I did was walk the floor and sign papers." "No." "I learned a lot." "Becky will be very pleased." "See, that just proves to me that you didn't learn what I wanted you to learn." "I mean, the idea was not to please Becky." "Oh, no." "I only meant that she would..." "You are coming back tomorrow." "Yes, sir." "Hey." "Hey!" "You make that cohabitation decision?" "No." "No, not yet." "But I do have a question for you." "You used to live with one of your old girlfriends, right?" "Yeah, right after college." "What, the one you turned gay?" "No, that..." "I didn't turn her gay." "(SLOT machine ringing) Oh!" "Where are we going with this, Danny?" "That guy just ripped off that lady's ticket." "(WOMEN EXCLAlMlNG)" "(GRUNTS)" "Sorry." "You okay?" "Hold on, baby." "I gotta work." "(GRUNTlNG)" "Yeah!" "That's one from the king!" "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "(GRUNTS) Hey." "WOMAN:" "Oh, Elvis." "Where's the ticket?" "What ticket?" "What are you talking about?" "If you don't know what I'm talking about, then why'd you run?" "I just got paroled." "I'm still a little jittery." "You can relax, 'cause you're going back to prison." "So what did you want to ask me about living with my girlfriend?" "Oh, yeah." "What did you do when you had to grow a tail?" "What?" "Go number two." "What did you do?" "I went." "What do you do when Delinda's over?" "I hold it." "That's how you get hemorrhoids." "Okay." "Cops'll be here soon." "You know, he's right." "So you would just go to the bathroom and go?" "With your girlfriend right outside?" "Yeah." "What about the..." "Funk?" "Yeah." "(PHONE ringing) Air freshener, my man." "Or if you want to go old school, matches." "That doesn't always work." "Oh, it'll keep the funk out your face." "Danny McCoy." "ED:" "Danny, where are you?" "Outside the holding room." "Yeah, right outside the holding room." "What's going on?" "(chuckling)" "So that's what you guys do down here?" "You just cracking each other up?" "No, we picked up a slot ticket thief." "He was robbing this old lady right in front of us." "Damn, I could've used some of that today." "Huh?" "Listen, I need you guys for a few minutes tomorrow, okay?" "Okay." "Do either of you guys know a high roller named Don Ray?" "I've met him." "I don't believe so." "Oh, good." "Then you'll be the guy I throw out." "Come again, sir?" "This Don Ray he's got this bitch of a wife that just walks all over this poor guy." "So, he wanted to kind of hang around with me to learn how to "man up."" "But unfortunately, nothing happened today that required me to..." "Kick some ass." "Kick some ass." "So now the guy comes and he begs me, you know, to come back tomorrow." "And I can't have this guy hanging around forever." "So I gotta stage a little incident, you know?" "For educational purposes." "Uh-huh, uh-huh." "And this incident involves an ass kicking?" "You." "You will be the unruly patron." "And Danny, you're gonna have trouble getting him to leave." "I don't think that I'd have much trouble." "Oh, you'd have a world of trouble." "I wouldn't wish unruly Mike on my worst..." "Stop, you two." "Please." "Stop." "You will request my help." "Okay." "And then, I'll handle things, you know, my way." "Okay." "Maybe we should go through a couple of half-speed rehearsals." "No, no, no. 10:00 tomorrow morning at the high stakes blackjack." "Okay." "Just to eliminate..." "I said 10:00 tomorrow morning." "We'll be there." "Compliments of the guy over there." "If I was staring, I apologize." "But you are really gorgeous." "I'm Ben." "Hi, Ben." "Hi." "I don't let boys buy me drinks." "I don't want to talk about why I'm in town or what I do." "I'm not gonna give you my phone number and there's no way in hell I'd ever have sex with you." "You're with me, leather." "The man knows what to say." "(ELEVATOR BELL dings)" "What's your floor?" "Thirty-three." "(BELL DlNGS)" "What do you think?" "There's something I think we should talk about." "I agree." "But I don't have time right now, so..." "No, me neither." "Thinking maybe after work we could grab some dinner?" "Talk?" "Like a date?" "Yeah." "I guess." "We haven't gone on many dates before." "We just sort of end up places together." "Actually, we've never been on a date." "Well, then it's a date." "To talk." "(CHUCKLES) Great." "I'll be there." "Wherever you make the reservations." "And I'll be wearing a dress." "(GROANS)" "See, it's all about being the pack leader." "With your employees, with your wife." "Hey." "You ever see that Mexican dog training guy on television?" "I love this guy." "Now what he says is that a dog will only love and respect its owner if the owner shows him that he's the pack leader." "Now, that applies to humans as well." "Do you want your wife to love and respect you more?" "Yeah, sure." "Of course, Ed." "You gotta show her you're the pack leader." "The way you do that is with a firm, unquestioned exercise of your power and authority." "You are the boss." "I'm the boss." "Right." "Come on." "Hello, Mr. Ray." "Ed, I'm sorry to bother you, but there's a guy acting up over by the high stakes blackjack tables." "I tried to throw him out, but he won't leave." "Will you please help?" "Please?" "Yeah." "Firm exercise of power." "Come on." "Excuse me, sir." "Yeah?" "My colleague here says that you're refusing to vacate the casino." "That's right, old-timer." "Because he didn't tell me why I had to leave." "Hit me." "Tell him." "MAN:" "Fifteen." "You have to leave because you were bothering people." "There's your answer, son." "Now you got five seconds." "Five." "Five." "Four." "Four." "Three." "Three." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey, man!" "Hey!" "Oh!" "Nobody disobeys orders here at the Montecito." "You understand?" "(GROANS)" "Come here!" "(GROANlNG)" "If I ever see you in here again, you ain't walking out." "You're gonna get carried out." "You understand that?" "Oh, yes, sir!" "Get the hell out of here!" "(GROANlNG)" "And stay out!" "Wow." "That was some exercise of power." "Right." "That's the way I handle guys like that." "Yes." "Sam, what a surprise." "What brings you to Denver?" "Your gambling debt." "I can't believe you did this, Sam." "I can't believe you stiffed me, Gerald." "Well, obviously, I won't be returning to the Montecito." "Good." "Something we agree on." "You want to wire the money or get a cashier's check while we look at your fish?" "As I said, I'm dealing with the Montecito." "Gerald." "No lying." "In case you're wondering, there are six security personnel on this floor alone." "You didn't have much money before you married your wife, did you?" "Fact is, her old man set you up in this job." "Does she know about the 200,000 you owe, or that you lost two million in the last 18 months?" "Does the board at the Cherry Hills Country Club know?" "Or the admissions committee at that private school you've been trying to get your kid into?" "Sam, this is blackmail." "I like the yellow ones." "That was nice." "The wife and the club." "How'd you know about the private school?" "I guessed." "You guessed?" "He had a picture of his kid behind his desk." "The kid looked about four." "The public schools in this guy's area aren't that hot, so I figured he's going private." "Now, see?" "And I thought all you had to know was how to break legs." "You did a good job in there." "Yeah?" "Thanks." "Hey, listen." "I just wanted you to know that I love working with you." "And I'd love to hang out with you." "But I'm just thinking last night was a mistake." "So..." "Still friends?" "I'll think about it." "Okay, what I wanted to talk to you about..." "Before we start, since this is our first real date," "let's pretend like we just met." "That we're just getting to know each other." "That's kind of lame." "No, it's not." "Well, just tell me something about you I don't already know." "Something embarrassing." "I stole a pack of gum when I was eight." "That's not embarrassing." "Okay." "Top it." "Okay." "I once fell asleep in my own vomit." "(laughing) Outstanding." "Okay." "Well, now that we've shared that..." "We might as well move in together." "Is that what you were thinking?" "Yeah." "What about you?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "You think that we should?" "Yeah." "I mean, I have only one concern." "I mean, Danny, we've never spent continuous time together." "You know, like for several days in a row." "So you're thinking like a trial run." "Exactly." "Somewhere away from here." "Airlines have a lot of weird new rules, right?" "I swear, I think there's a new one that says that in order to be a flight attendant you have to be over 60 and hate people." "(CRlCKETS chirping)" "As bad as things are, with airlines it's just, they keep making cutbacks." "The last flight I was on, the flight attendant said," ""Miss, would you like your meal?"" "And I said, "Well, what are my options?"" "And she says, "Yes or no."" "(tapping mike)" "Is this thing on?" "All right, here you are." "Safe and sound." "Yeah." "I guess this is it." "Yeah." "See you around." "Sam." "Uh-huh?" "Maybe we could get together sometime." "I'll think about it." "Ed." "Yeah?" "I wanted to grab you before you left." "What's going on?" "Did you attack Mike Cannon in a men's room today?" "You heard about that, huh?" "Yes." "From an employee who says it traumatized him." "He's suing us." "CATHY:" "The employee's a maintenance worker." "Al Lopez." "Honey, hold my calls." "Yes, sir." "According to the statement he provided, he saw you, his boss, throwing another employee, Mike Cannon, into a wall while verbally threatening him." "Is that an accurate representation of what occurred?" "It was a joke." "Mr. Lopez isn't laughing." "If the guy hasn't got a sense of humor, I don't even want him here." "Tell him he's fired." "Look, Cathy." "Danny, Michael and I were just putting on a show for a guest." "A high roller whose gold-digging wife bosses him around all the time." "So we're just trying to show him, you know, how to maybe improve his situation at home." "By throwing Mike against a wall?" "If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were encouraging spousal abuse." "We were just trying to give the shlub a little backbone." "In any event, Lopez says he's afraid to show up for work." "Afraid that if he does anything wrong, he'll be physically attacked." "Ed, I really think if it was all a little show, you should explain that to him and apologize." "Apologize?" "I am not apologizing to some scam artist who's trying to extort us." "Would you rather deal with a hostile workplace suit?" "Yeah, maybe." "Hey!" "I was awful!" "No, for your first time up there?" "Oh, please." "I stunk up the place." "No, listen." "For your first time up there, I think you did..." "You did pretty well." "Yeah, well..." "At least I did it, right?" "I conquered my worst fear." "That's right." "That's the important thing." "That's right." "I'm gonna go get the car and pull it around." "Please." "Here you go." "How you doing?" "Hey." "I'm Adam Carolla." "Yeah, I know." "I'm not trying to pick up on you." "I just remember my first time on stage." "Ah, right." "So I got the whole pity thing going?" "A little bit." "Yeah." "Yeah." "So, did you go up there on a dare?" "No." "Why?" "Woman's intuition." "Nothing." "People go up there." "You know, they get pushed up." "You know?" "They're funny around the office or something like that." "They figure, "Well, I can do five minutes on stage."" "Yeah, well, nobody at my work thinks I'm funny at all." "I'm actually here to conquer my worst fear." "Stand-up comedy's your worst fear?" "Yeah." "Must be nice." "You know?" "For me it's a terrorist attack, but I'm weird." "Can I give you a little piece of unsolicited advice?" "Yes." "Don't make up jokes." "You know?" "You should just draw from your experience." "Like family, your job, you know?" "Just let it come organically." "Could I ask you a favor?" "Sure." "Could I pick your brain for a couple minutes about comedy?" "Yeah." "It'll be like Inside the Actors Studio." "Let me..." "Almost exactly." "Let me strike up my best blow-hard pose." "Oh!" "I don't get it." "I mean, she was bad, man." "Not even a chuckle." "And she says she's going back for more." "Delinda and I are going on a trip to see if we're compatible for more than 24 hours." "Okay." "Makes sense." "Living with someone is about compromise, right?" "Every day of the year." "So the fact that I agreed to take a trip to New England to see the leaves turn color doesn't make me a wimp?" "A little." "But being a little bit of a wimp is what compromise is all about." "By the way, you're a little late for the primo fall foliage." "Can you tell Delinda that?" "Not a chance." "What does Ed want?" "I don't know." "Hey, boys." "How's the elbow, Mike?" "Better." "Yeah?" "Is that what they call "method acting?"" "Should've had a rehearsal." "Anyway, listen." "There was this maintenance employee in the bathroom when we put on our little show." "Apparently, we scared him." "So, Cathy Burson said he's going to file a hostile workplace suit unless we explain everything." "So just call him in and tell him." "I thought we'd do it together." "You're his boss." "It was your plan." "And you're what?" "A smartass?" "You're going." "(lNTERCOM rings) Mike, you don't have to go." "Yeah." "Okay, good." "I'll be right down there." "Hey, and call Sam." "Tell her to be there, too." "He's coming in later." "Why doesn't he have to go?" "Hey!" "Ed!" "Look, I'm gambling." "Becky wanted to have lunch." "I told her she's just gonna have to wait a few minutes." "That's my tough guy." "All right." "Here we go." "MAN:" "Six." "Winner." "Yes!" "WOMAN:" "Place your bets." "ED:" "Excuse me, Cory." "Yes, Mr. Deline?" "You didn't give Miss Pierce a marker, did you?" "No, Mr. Deline." "Very good." "Thanks." "Close this table down, please." "Color her out." "I don't even get a "Hello, Billie" first?" "Hello, Sam." "Hi, Billie." "Hello, Ed." "How are you?" "Don't worry." "I'm using cash." "Miss Pierce, as you hopefully remember, you still owe us $183,000." "Now, you told our office that the money would be wired three weeks ago." "It wasn't, and you're not returning our phone calls." "It's just a silly misunderstanding." "No, actually it's a legal obligation." "And until that debt is paid, you're not welcome here at the Montecito." "This is an outrage!" "If you think I'm gonna pay you now, after being treated like some criminal." "Get her out of here, please." "Okay, so what about the money?" "Don't hold your breath." "Warren?" "Hey." "It's Sam." "Billie Pierce is back." "Uh-huh." "Ed just threw her out." "She's waiting for her limo to pick her up and the valet says that the driver's about 15 minutes away." "Yep." "Meet you out front." "MAN:" "Miss Pierce." "Here you go." "That her?" "Yep." "Let's do it." "WARREN:" "We might have a problem." "What?" "I don't get physical with women." "I have an idea." "(tires screeching)" "Hey, what the hell you doing..." "Hi." "We'd like to have our money." "I guess all that concern about me having a good time was just a big act." "Yeah." "Completely phony." "But we would love to have our money." "Well, that's good." "Except you're really not getting it now." "I wouldn't get her mad, lady, if I were you." "I'm gonna give you one more chance and then I'm gonna have to kick your ass." "I'm reporting you to the police." "(GASPS)" "(EXCLAlMlNG)" "Thank you, ma'am." "May I have another?" "(SOBBlNG) All right." "I'll pay." "Al, that little scuffle in the men's room was all just a put-on." "It was a joke." "We apologize if we inadvertently upset you." "What you call an inadvertent put-on, my client calls a traumatic event with long-lasting effects." "I'd hardly call it traumatic." "I wonder why people hate lawyers." "Look, I do not throw employees against the wall." "You have nothing to worry about." "Now, you do believe me, don't you, Al?" "Yes." "Don't answer that." "Do me a favor." "We're trying to settle this." "Okay?" "Are you good with that?" "Al, don't answer that." "Al, is this lawsuit your idea or..." "Objection." "Irrelevant." "This isn't a courtroom, counselor." "See, it's lucky for you, Al." "My hatred for your lawyer has clouded my thinking." "It wasn't my idea, Mr. Deline." "Look, look, we're all reasonable people here." "He isn't." "What do you say, $10,000 for pain and suffering?" "And you would get, what, 30, 40% of that?" "I tell you what here, Al." "You fire this guy on the spot right now, I'll give you a $5,000 bonus." "You're fired!" "Oh, look so happy!" "Sam find her Chung Ho?" "Oh, no." "But I did find an extremely fun new hobby." "Oh, just in case you find boyfriend, I show you in-between place finger." "Oh, no." "That's okay." "I have to get this to Ed." "Just take two seconds." "Tomorrow." "Okay, feels so good, though." "I feel so good." "Because I'm home?" "That, too." "Mainly because I finished packing for our trip." "But we don't leave for three days." "Well, I'm very organized, if that's a problem..." "No, no, no, that's cool." "Listen to this." "Mike just told me that Mary's doing a stand-up routine at the Comedy Corral in half an hour." "We gotta see this." "Mary?" "Yeah." "You believe that?" "But she's not funny." "(chuckling) I know." "(ELEVATOR BELL dings)" "What did you do to Don?" "Wished him a happy birthday." "Is something wrong?" "I said that I wanted interesting." "I didn't say that I wanted inflexible." "He's making me go to Saint Barts." "Making me do things that I don't like." "Divorce him." "(sighs) We have a prenup." "A bad one." "Bad prenup." "Mmm." "In case you're interested, Mary is doing stand-up tonight at the Comedy Corral." "She's not funny." "Our next comedian is making her second appearance here at the Comedy Corral." "Please put your hands together for Mary Connell." "Yeah!" "(CHEERlNG)" "So, does anybody here have a boss who doesn't have a clue?" "'Cause I know I do." "I mean, this guy is unbelievable."