"I came late to sex." "I was nearly ten." "That was when my friend Mark Watkins told me how babies were made." "Really?" "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "Honest." "Saw it in one of my dads videos." "For over a year after that, I thought babies were made... when two women tied a man to a bed and covered his willy with ice cream." "But it's your favourite flavour." "Na na!" "At secondary school, we were given the facts." "It's impossible for a male to mate... unless the female is willing to place herself correctly for him." "She then lies with her hind legs spread out, her back arched inwards... and the formerly aggressive spines laid flat." "The male seizes her by the scruff of the neck... and mating takes place." "Mating lasts only a minute or two, and the pair separates." "The male plays no further part in bringing up the family." "Indeed, the two animals will probably never meet again." "So, that was sex." "Simple, really." "Just find someone to do it with, find somewhere to do it, and do it." "Thing is, when you're my age, it just isn't that simple." "And as for falling in love well, nothing prepares you for that." "Anything interesting?" "Oh." "Not really." "Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare." "It's really, you know, boring." "He speaks very highly of you." "You doing your homework?" "Trying to." "You might find it easier with the book turned the right way up." "What do you do?" "I'm a writer." "Wow." "A writer." "I've thought about, you know, writing and stuff." "I'm not really sure." "I-I've entered a competition in the local paper." "You have to write about what it's like growing up as we approach... the new millennium." "And, uh, what is it like?" "Oh, you know." "Could be better." "No." "I guess it's hard for any sixteen-year-old," "but when you'reyou know" "I know." "You're lovely." "Well, you're not so bad yourself." "Tart." "Jealous." "Oh, Linda, hes stunning." "he's got eyes like Brad Pitt." "Tart." "he's witty and gorgeous." "Dangerous." "Lins, you know I'm always safe." "Safe?" "Whats safe about picking up men in toilets?" "You promised me you wouldn't do it anymore." "I don't!" "I was just sitting outside minding my own business, and" "Steve, babe, don't bullshit me." "Some git starts blagging you outside the public bog, hes only up for one thing." "Well, where else am I supposed to meet other blokes like me?" "And hes not some randy old git." "His names Glen." "he's up for the same thing I am." "Were going to the woods again on Friday." "The woods?" "Steve, you did it in the woods?" "You could have been" "Queer-bashed by squirrels?" "He could have done anything to you." "Or you could have been arrested." "It's so risky." "Lifes a risk, Lins." "Linda, Mum says if you don't come in for Your tea now, shell give it to the dog." "Okay, okay." "You haven't got a dog." "Well, well get one." "he's never gonna let you drive it." "Thats not what he said he was doing." "Hi." "Hi." "You're late again." "Yeah." "Just doing some research... for the newspaper competition." "Special study groups proving useful then?" "Great." "Hows the article going?" "Oh... uh... not bad." "Should meet the deadline." "Oh." "Deadlines." "Thats very..." "professional, isn't it?" "Well, he won't meet any deadlines sitting in the park." "Sorry?" "Mrs. Gillingham said she saw you sitting in the park." "Oh, yeah." "I, uh" "I had a bit of a block, so I went there to unblock." "Steven, you are going to finish this article, aren't you?" "Of course I am." "Because if this is just another of your fads, then you might as well use the study time for your schoolwork." "Hmm?" "Oh!" "Come, gentle night." "Come, loving black-browed night." "Give me my Romeo." "And when I die'," "Sorry, sir." "Ah, Steven." "What is it today?" "Earthquake?" "Bus hijacked by terrorists?" "Or were you confined to your house by the plague?" "Sir?" "Romeo and Juliet, Steven." "By William Shakespeare?" "Okay, sit down." "Oh, have you finished that essay yet?" "Uh" "Steve." "If it's not done by tomorrow," "I'll have to suggest to your parents that you join... the special study periods after school." "Carry on, Wendy." "'Take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine..." "that all will be in love with night.," "Mark." "Can I borrow your essay?" "So tedious is this day as is the night before some festival... to an impatient child that hath new robes and may not wear them." "I'm just saying people sometimes go through a phase." "A phase?" "Since I was eleven?" "Eleven?" "Thats how old I was when I discovered masturbation." "Mind you it was another three years... before I realized I could do it on my own." "Stop trying to shock me." "I'm unshockable." "Stick to your own balls." "You haven't told those wankers you're gay, have you?" "Oh, yeah, I announced it at assembly this morning." "I told you, no one knows." "Geez, if they thought I really was gay" "Fuck me around enough because I don't smoke or play football... and I've got an I.Q of over 25." "School full of tossers." "Oh, yeah." "Bet you fancy half ofem." "No way." "Not even him?" "John Dixon." "He is sex on legs." "I know." "Every time I see his head boy badge..." "I wish it was an invitation." "Sure wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating biscuits." "Great poster." "Yeah, but no ones gonna see it here." "Well, why don't you take down all this artwork?" "It's been here for centuries." "You can create your own notice board." "Should we ask the teacher first?" "Probably." "Are you sure this'll be okay?" "Oh, it's fine." "Look, if it makes you feel easier, I'll mention it to the Head later." "Thanks." "Look, Id better go." "I've got training." "Don't work that body too hard." "Hi." "Oh, hi." "So, um, you're on the school magazine this term." "I am the school magazine." "No one else could be fucked." "I could be fu Id like to help." "Whatever." "Well, look" "Finish clearing this lot and, um, stick that right in the middle, okay?" "Yes!" "Oh, for Gods sake." "Steve, hes not coming." "The gorgeous Glen is 45 minutes late." "He just got held up." "By his balls, I hope." "Sweetheart, I know you want me to meet him." "I don't—" "I just don't feel very comfortable here." "Anyway, I've got to get home." "Not another driving lesson." "How many have you had now?" "Forty... eight." "You sure all you're doing is driving?" "What else would we be doing?" "Not all men are obsessed with sex, you know." "Who mentioned sex?" "Look, you go home if you want to." "Youll scare him off if he sees you." "Cheers!" "No, I mean if he sees me with" "You know what I mean." "You be careful." "Oh, bugger." "Meet you outside." "On the bench." "Come on." "Come on." "Come out." "Allright, mate?" "Carter, isn't it?" "Fag?" "Sorry?" "Oh." "Thanks." "This is a nice park." "Yeah, it's nice." "Filthy habit." "What?" "Smoking." "I only started because all my mates did." "Peer pressure, they call it." "Yeah." "Peer pressure." "Don't smoke to impress me." "You be yourself." "Yeah." "Listen, Dixon, I" "Hey, the names John." "John." "About what happened in there" "Forget it, mate." "My mistake." "I don't know what came over me." "In there it's usually a question of not knowing who came over you." "I didnt know it was you." "I certainly didnt know it was you." "Look, lets just put it out of our minds." "You don't know why you did it either, right?" "Y-You mean you're" "Geez, I thought when Kevin and the guys call you names and that, theyre only taking the piss, right?" "I mean, you're not really... dodgy?" "Yeah, I'm... dodgy." "Oh, fuck me." "No, I don't mean I just mean" "Fuck me." "I'm sorry." "Don't be." "I'm not." "What are you up to now?" "Do you fancy going for a coffee or something, or" "I live around the corner." "No, I don't like coffee." "Anyway, I should get in some training tonight." "You know, sports day." "Yeah." "Good luck." "Are" "Are your parents in?" "You did say no sugar, didnt you?" "Yeah." "Here." "It's hot." "Why don't you sit down?" "Theres only the bed, I'm afraid." "Is it okay?" "The bed?" "The tea." "Oh, yeah." "Great." "Didnt— Didnt have you down for a soccer fan." "I'm not." "Why all the" "Oh." "How long have you known that you're" "Dodgy?" "Since I was 11." "Fuck me." "Eleven years old?" "Yeah." "When I was in the Cubs, there was this this porn mag being passed around, and all the other kids were deciding which girl they liked and stuff, and, uh, and one kid whispers to me," "Don't know what the fuss is about." "Id rather see another boys willy anytime." "So, I said, So would I." "I've never really talked to another bloke about this stuff." "Oh, it's okay." "I'm just interested." "Well, intrigued." "Like, does anyone know?" "Only Linda." "Shes a mate of mine." "What about your parents?" "Haven't got a clue." "What if they found out?" "I'm not gonna let them find out." "Theyd be gutted." "Blimey!" "Oh, that must be Lindas." "And what was it doing in your bed?" "Please." "Bloody hell." "A gay teddy bear." "John." "I can't." "I can't handle that." "It's all right, John." "Lots of gay blokes don't like kissing." "I'm not gay!" "Look." "I don't know why I It was just a bit of fun." "I only came for coffee." "You don't like coffee." "Stop being so fucking clever!" "John!" "Hi, John." "Steven!" "Steven!" "What?" "Your teas ready." "I'm not hungry." "Steven, have you got something on your mind?" "No." "Is that your article?" "Yeah." "Pleased with it?" "No, it's crap." "Stupid." "But you were really into it." "Come on, lets have a look." "No." "I'm not sending it in." "Oh, God, Steven." "Why can't you see something through for once?" "I mean, whats your problem?" "Sorry to be such a disappointment." "Yeah, but if they hadnt lied" "They had to lie." "You don't think being up front about it would have been better?" "What, like, Mom, you know that bloke Romeo?" "Well, I know I'm only 14 and that, and I know hes just murdered your cousin, but I thought he was a bit of all right, so I married him." "Well, what would you guys have done in that situation?" "Steven?" "Sir?" "I said, what would you have done?" "Me?" "When, sir?" "Okay, listen." "Rememberthat tomorrow..." "You will have to recite a speech." "Any chance of borrowing camera equipment from your dad for the magazine?" "No chance. he's got real down on me at the moment." "Well, could you ask him anyway?" "It's just I told Wendy" "God, Mark, I'm not groveling to my dad just so you can impress Wendy Bates." "Oh, thanks." "Whats up, Steve?" "What do you mean, sir?" "Everything okay at home?" "Everythings fine." "Girl trouble?" "I said everythings fine." "Oh, did Mark ask you about the camera?" "Uh, yeah." "I don't think I'm gonna be able to get one." "Oh, thats a shame." "Wendys doing a piece for the magazine... about the athletics team... and we need some photographs You sure you can't help?" "Whats with this sudden interest?" "Well, I just thought doing the school magazine would be good for me." "Hmm." "Okay." "Just you make sure I get it back." "I need it for Richards wedding." "And yes, you do have to come." "I'm afraid I'm a bit early." "My" "Ah, Mr. Armstrong." "Not to worry." "I'm not quite ready myself yet, so make yourself at home." "I'll be back in a minute." "Debbie, can I just check something?" "Glen!" "God, I thought Id never see you again." "What the hell are you doing here?" "I just came to borrow a camera from my dad." "Your dad?" "It's cool." "he's got no idea." "Why did you stand me up the other day?" "Please, keep your voice down." "Did you find another man?" "Right." "Ready for your big moment?" "Hello, darling." "I thought I told you not to wear that jacket." "Now, Mrs. Armstrong, if youd like to just take a seat there." "Good." "Oh, dear." "Oh, dear." "Hello." "From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, a pair of star-crossed lovers." "A Which speech are you learning?" "Romeo, Romeo, cover me in honey..." "and suck it off with a straw." "What?" "God, hes perfect." "Fancy him, do ya?" "He can pass me his baton any day." "Hi." "You girls using... your study periods productively?" "Yes, sir." "I was just helping Wendy do some research." "Um, Steves gonna take the photos for us." "It's all right if he joins the magazine team, isn't it?" "Uh, yeah, all right, thanks." "John, we need to do that shoot now." "Yeah, fine." "Hi." "Hi." "Is that your team vest?" "Yeah." "Maybe you should wear that." "Yeah, if you want." "Well, you're the expert, Steven, so I'll leave it to you." "Hey, you know that guy who was arrested last month for flashing young lads?" "Yeah." "he's only a bloody priest." "Was he arrested in the organ loft?" "In the park." "The police say the woods are full of pervs." "Jess!" "Right on cue." "We need to talk." "Shouldnt you be somewhere else, Kevin, like remedial reading?" "P.M.T., is it, Jessica?" "Yeah." "Post-moron tension." "Best thing you ever did dumping that wanker." "Hey, Steve, do you want to go to the woods later with a camera, get some News of the World stuff for the mag?" "No, seriously, we could write something about this." "We want the magazine to be more radical this year, right?" "Well, what could be more radical than a gay story?" "It's not a gay story." "It's a pervert story." "Whats the difference?" "Well, you're not gay and you're a pervert." "Something funny, Carter?" "Leave him alone, Kevin!" "Queer fuck!" "Still laughing, are we?" "I'm not queer." "Kevin!" "Stop pratting around, Grainger." "Leave the girlies alone." "You okay?" "Uh, yeah, I'm fine." "So, um, when did you and Kevin split up?" "Oh, um, a few days ago." "I-Id rather not, you know" "I knew she liked him." "Yeah." "he's liked her forever." "Think shell go out with him?" "Maybe." "If she finally gives up on the idea of stealing John Dixon... away from Christina Supermodel Lindmann." "You ever seen her?" "No." "Not even the underwear pictures?" "No, I" "Shes not a real model." "She models underwear for mail-order catalogs." "Oh." "Still, she is rather gorgeous." "I told Wendy youd have to be pretty special to take John away from her." "Is that you, Steven?" "Yeah." "I brought your photos back." "Theyre on your desk." "Oh, thanks." "I think she likes me, but she seems, like, quite distant sometimes." "It's killing me." "Were talking permanent erection here." "Theres a medical term for that." "Uh, yeah sad bastard." "Funny." "Did you see her this morning?" "I'm sure shes not wearing a bra." "You can see the outline" "God, just ask her to go to the bloody ball with you." "Well, it's difficult." "It could be more fucking difficult." "Do you want to go to the cinema on Sunday?" "If you don't pull at the ball." "Maybe." "Go on, itll cheer you up." "I don't need cheering up." "Oh, yeah, right." "All right." "Cinema, Sunday." "Hows, uh" "Hows tricks?" "Fine." "We must stop meeting like this." "Hi, Mr. Carter." "Hello, Linda." "You look nice today." "So do you." "Mrs." "C." "See you Monday, Linda love." "Have a nice time, eh?" "Steve!" "So, thats the incredible Christina Lindmann?" "Where?" "The girl youve been staring at for the last 20 minutes." "Have not." "You ever thought of doing it with an older woman?" "Not exactly." "Stop staring at him." "It's embarrassing." "He stares back." "In your dreams." "Get off of me!" "You, um" "You okay?" "Yeah." "Just needed some air." "Kevin Graingers a right twat, isn't he?" "You all right, my man?" "See anyone you fancy?" "Mmm." "Yeah, Jessica." "Ah, forget her." "Pastures new, boy." "Pastures is right." "Cows, the lot of them." "Well, you don't look at the mantle piece when you're poking the fire, do ya?" "What happens if you're poking the mantle piece?" "So, it was fine for six months." "He was nice, almost, you know, romantic." "Kevin Grainger, romantic?" "Give me a break." "Well, then we you know, did it." "First time for me." "And?" "Oh, God, I'm not sure I should be telling all this to a bloke." "Okay." "On the day after we you know," "Wendy heard him tell the lads about well, everything." "Details, graphic details." "Even what Id been saying when we were" "I felt humiliated." "He said hes sorry." "He said he wants me back, but" "No, you deserve better than that." "Thanks." "Look, I'm fine now." "Lets go back in." "Anyway, I think I'm off blokes for life." "What about you?" "Me?" "Yeah, you're a real secretive one." "Got a girl in your life?" "No, not really." "But youd like there to be." "Something like that." "Who?" "Someone here tonight?" "Yeah." "Anyone I know?" "There you are." "She looks available." "God, youd have to be desperate." "Hi." "I'm Kevin." "And you are?" "Thirsty." "Fancy a real drink, Kirsty?" "No, thanks." "Something else, then?" "Diet Coke?" "You know, I really like..." "cuddly girls." "So, uh, could I see you home tonight?" "he's seeing me home." "That wanker?" "No, not you, Steven." "Oy, Carter!" "Not exactly an oil painting, is she?" "No, shes cuddly, and until a few seconds ago, you assumed that because I'm a fat girl... instead of some slim oil painting, Id be gagging... for a quick one in the doorway of Toys-R-Us." "Linda." "I can just imagine sex with you:" "the pathetic fumbling to find the bra strap, the slobbery kisses, belching into some poor girls mouth... because youve had too much chilli sauce on your kebab... and then the main event, which is either over in seconds... or not at all because you're too fucking pissed." "Shall I take that as a definite 'no'?" "Take it up your bum." "Thought that was his department." "Just because hes got a prick, he thinks hes Gods gift to womankind." "Sod this." "If you're going to put me through this bloody torture, we might as well at least have a dance." "Don't you start!" "Sorry, I was thinking of someone else." "Charming." "God, it gets really boring sometimes." "You haven't got a monopoly on rejection, you know." "At least you're not me." "Cuddly." "Sweetheart, I'm not cuddly." "I'm not a big girl, I'm not well-rounded." "I'm absolutely fuckin' enormous." "The only offers I get are from dickheads like Kevin Shit-for-brains Grainger, and even then after hes tried every other girl in the place." "At the end ofthe evening, dancing with the desperate." "Tsk." "Men." "Look, lets have a night ofdebauchery while your parents are away." "I'll nip home and get a video, you can break into your mums Cinzano cellar." "Well have a threesome you, me and Mel Gibson." "What will the neighbors think?" "We are the neighbors." "Yeah." "I'll put the door on the latch." "I'm changing!" "Down in a sec." "I said I'll be down" "Hi." "Please, I" "I need to" "I need to use your loo." "Oh." "It's first on the right." "Shit!" "Linda!" "I really don't feel too good." "I think I'll just go to bed." "But" "Good night." "Steven, I really hate you sometimes." "The uh The front door was open." "I just had to, um" "Are your parents out?" "Thank God." "Coffee?" "I don't like coffee!" "You don't like kissing." "I'm sorry." "Please." "Help me." "I'm— I'm worried." "I know." "Confused." "I know." "You don't know!" "You're not fucking confused!" "I'm getting there." "It's just" "I thought Id—" "It was a long time ago." "What was?" "Oh, God, I'm pissed." "About about a year ago, geography field trip." "We went to Cornwall with some other schools." "You been to Cornwall?" "No." "It's really, you know, nice." "Like, quite wild." "One night, I went and got drunk with this guy" "Danny, from one of the other schools." "He was Well I thought he was... a sound bloke." "Well, apart from being an Arsenal supporter." "Sound." "We had one of those giant bottles of wine." "We got really pissed." "Sitting on some rocks, by the sea." "We got really silly." "He dared me to to dive in." "He said he would if I would." "So we took all our clothes off, counted to three and I jumped." "Christ, it was cold." "He never jumped." "He just stood there, laughing." "He said I was a prat for doing it." "You were." "When I got out," "I was shivering." "Then he picked his sweatshirt up, and as I sat there, he... put it over my shoulders and... started to to dry me," "so, so gently." "And I felt" "I felt" "Take your time." "I felt sexy." "You know, aroused." "Then he kissed me, started to t-to touch me... all over." "God." "Suddenly, I freaked, and..." "I pushed him off and grabbed my clothes and ran... and ran." "Johnny." "We never spoke to each other for the rest of that week." "And I've never seen him since." "I told myself... it was the wine, the place, the sea that it was his fault." "Then the other day with you." "And now, whenever I see you, I" "I just wanna" "God!" "Whats wrong with me?" "Shh." "It's all right." "I'm so scared." "Don't leave me." "Whoops." "Not to worry." "Well try it again next time." "Can't we do just one more?" "Okay." "It's doing it again." "It's a bit stiff." "Steven?" "Just making breakfast." "I'm afraid we finished all the bacon yesterday." "Fine." "What time are your parents due back?" "Oh, theyre back." "Theyre down here with me." "Oh, shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Mum says if you make an honest man ofme shell help you choose the curtains." "Oh, wanker." "You wanker!" "Hi, Mum." "I'll be home for dinner." "I'm still at Kevins." "What, did he ring?" "Oh, well, we had a bit of a row yesterday, so I went and stayed at Daves last night." "But I'm back at Kevins now." "Are you staying in bed all day, then?" "Look, Mum, I've gotta go." "I'm on someone elses—" "Kevins phone." "Sorry... for worrying you." "Yeah." "See ya." "Shit." "By the way, you hogged the bloody duvet again last night." "Whats up?" "Could we get out of here?" "Were only lying to protect other people." "Yeah, but when Kevin called you queer the other day, you denied it!" "If you really do like beingI mean, how can you really like yourself... if you deny what you are?" "All right, lets tell everyone then." "No, don't you dare!" "Look, I'm sorry." "I" "I'm so scared." "I feel like everyones watching." "I know." "Listen, if you tell anyone, it's off." "If anyone even starts to suspect, it's off." "It's on then, is it?" "Of course it's on." "I" "I like you a lot." "What about Christina?" "No contest." "You're a better kisser." "Promise?" "Promise." "You sure you're not getting the wrong signals?" "Steve, he kissed me." "Where?" "On the ring road." "No, I mean" "On the cheek." "Oh, must be love, then." "What would you know about love?" "Best you ever manage is a quick one with a complete stranger." "Linda" "You're right." "What would I know?" "I didnt know it could be like that." "It was like everything went in slow motion." "You know, like in a film... when two people stare into each others eyes," "and they both just know that" "Bollocks!" "Bollocks!" "Bollocks!" "Bollocks!" "Bollocks!" "I thought it was just going to be me and you." "I didnt know I was gonna get offwith Wends." "I didnt think youd mind." "So, is Wendy gonna bring Jessica on all your dates, then?" "I didnt know she was coming." "Hey, you don't think theyre on for a threesome, do you?" "Oh, God." "You should have your balls surgically removed." "Gonna need them later." "You sit next to Steven." "Hi." "Hi." "So, where to now, then?" "Aren't you off to use your balls?" "Actually, I I quite fancy a burger." "Some poor animals balls, then." "Uh, listen, I've gotta get back home." "Me too." "Walk me home?" "Sure." "See you, then." "See you." "So, where shall we go?" "Fancy a Whopper?" "Sure." "We can always eat afterwards." "You know, I reckon she can really drive, she just she just wants more driving lessons." "It's funny, but I thought Linda was the one that you liked at the ball." "No." "No, it wasn't her." "Oh." "You know, I really en I really enjoyed dancing at the ball." "Thats what balls are for." "Well, more than that, I really enjoyed, you know, talking and that with you." "Yeah." "I enjoyed talking with you, too." "I feel like I can relax with you." "You can." "Yeah." "Well, um, this is my house." "Oh." "Um, thanks for walking me home." "Any time." "You mean that?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "Jess" "Lets not rush things." "Jess" "Oh, bugger." "I'll catch you later." "I've gotta go and see the Head." "See you later, mate." "Hi." "How was training?" "Look, I've already told you." "Never talk to me in school." "I just wanted to" "Never!" "I'm sorry, but... weve gotta be more careful." "Weekends are best." "We can meet Saturday." "Great." "Oh, shit." "I've got to go to a bloody wedding on Saturday." "Playing hard to get, eh?" "Shh, shh, shh." "Hi." "Hi." "Hi." "Steve, I What are you doing tonight?" "I thought we might go bowling, or something." "Oh, I'm— I'm busy tonight." "Maybe some other time." "Ah, Steven." "Are you ever on time for anything?" "Sorry, sir." "I've got the photos." "Fine." "We were just discussing where to put your article." "My article?" "'Millennium Generation.," "Your newspaper article." "It won the competition." "Oh, I hadnt heard." "Yeah." "They want to present the check on prize day." "And although the decision was difficult... because of the high quality of the entries, we felt your article to be the most professional, showing true potential and a feel for the craft that is journalism." "There." "Well, aren't you proud?" "I'm— Were proud, really proud." "Aren't we?" "Mmm." "And the 500 quidll come in handy, won't it?" "I just I don't understand." "What?" "I don't understand how you could have sent it in without telling me." "Well, I don't understand why you didnt." "What was it?" "Too much effort to lick the stamp?" "Because it's rubbish!" "But all that stuff about this town having nothing for someone of your age" "I thought you really captured how a young person sees life." "Life?" "What do you know about my life?" "Look, mate, can't it wait till tomorrow?" "I have to speak to her now." "It's important." "Ow!" "Yeah, well, sos her driving." "Shes got a test in two weeks." "Do you think shell pass?" "Bloody hope not." "Still, if she is gonna drive this thing, the more practice she has, the better." "Yeah, but a five-hour lesson?" "Hello, Steven." "We haven't seen you since Traceys christening." "Probably." "Not long enough." "So, where was I?" "Shagging Bob." "It was more than that." "We... made love." "God, it was better than I thought it could be." "So gentle and kind" "Steve," "my man, hows things?" "Fine." "Aren't you going to introduce us, then?" "No." "Steve, whats got into you?" "I'm sick of everyone assuming you're my girlfriend." "Thats why you bloody invited me." "Well, things are different now." "Why?" "Steve, you're so fucked up by all this." "Just tell your parents the truth." "Yeah, why don't we get the best man to announce it?" "Lins, I've got to get out of here." "Lets go for a walk." "No, I mean out." "I want to go back to Basingstoke." "Sweetheart, no one ever wants to go back to Basingstoke." "Yeah, well, I do." "Youve got to help me." "Why?" "I'll tell you if you agree to help me." "John Dixon and me were lovers." "In your dreams!" "It's true!" "Thats who I was with all last weekend." "Weve done itloads and he loved it!" "He loved me!" "Steve, slow down." "John Dixon" "Is my lover." "If he was my girlfriend he could be here with me." "I've got to see him today." "I don't know when hell be free again." "Well, lets just go." "My dadll freak." "He says I belong here." "I don't fucking belong here." "Darling, you're cracking up." "Don't be melodramatic." "Faint!" "What?" "Just do it!" "Don't be melodramatic, just faint?" "Oh, please!" "Then my dadll let me take you home!" "Steven Carter, I really hate" "Hate me, detest mejust faint!" "Oh, my God!" "Shes fainted!" "Linda!" "Lins!" "Linda?" "Shes coming round." "Where am I?" "Hi." "Hi." "I guess your parents are in." "Yeah." "Pity." "There is one place we can go." "It's over there." "We won't have to go through all this shit after youve left school." "Itll be great." "I can visit you in Oxford and" "You can what?" "Come and see you in Oxford." "Christ!" "What are you thinking about Oxford for?" "It's months away." "Guess so." "Are you looking forward to it?" "Yeah, maybe." "Well, it's funny." "I can't ever remember making a decision to go there." "It's like it's like it was something marked out for me... by fate." "No." "By my dad, I suppose." "What, cause he went there?" "Yeah." "My dad the Oxford blue in everything from rugby to cricket to tiddlywinks." "Can't blame your parents for wanting the best, though." "I'm sure I'll be the same." "Sure." "You hoping to have kids, then?" "Yeah." "Well, I mean, I suppose so." "Oh, sod it." "Listen to us!" "All thats centuries away." "You do want me to come and see you in Oxford, don't you?" "Course I do." "It's just I've heard their rowing team have their best cox for years." "Quiet!" "I think I saw someone." "Shit!" "Wed better split up." "This time you were lucky." "You ran into one of us lot." "But it could have been a lot worse." "You understand me, Steven?" "I hope you do." "Yes, I-I think hes got the point." "Thank you very much for bringing him home." "Can I show you out?" "Steven." "What were you doing in those woods?" "It was just a laugh." "I'm sorry." "Oh, you're sorry." "You're sorry." "You heard what he said." "How can you have been such a stupid sod?" "Graham." "Well, use your imagination!" "He could have been molested by some dirty old queer!" "God, the thought of it makes me sick." "What on Gods earth possessed you?" "Well, where else were we supposed to go?" "Oh, God." "You don't think it's drugs, do you?" "That was a long run." "Yeah, uh, I'll get a shower." "Oh, Christina called again." "Well, how is he?" "Asleep." "I don't think it's drugs, Graham." "Well, I don't know who these so-called friends of his are, but theyre no good for him." "What are you doing?" "Whats this crap?" "'Walking in the Cotswolds.," "Yeah." "We have to put some stuff in from the staff." "Are you putting something new into the mag?" "No." "Yours?" "Thanks." "So, you fancy eating lunch together?" "Uh, I'm busy lunchtime." "Steve," "do you like me or not?" "Yeah, of course I like you." "No." "Do you like me?" "Um" "You kissed me the other night." "I kissed you?" "And at the ball you said you had your eye on someone." "Look, Jessica, I've been meaning to talk to you" "Oh, God." "I'm sorry." "It was my fault." "How could I have been so stupid?" "Sorry, I Something you said?" "Something I'm not allowed to say." "Did, um did you get home all right last night?" "Not exactly." "What happened?" "I was picked up by the police." "And?" "Well, what do you think?" "They just gave me a lecture about the park being out of bounds at night... cause it's full of disgusting people like us." "Are you okay?" "Being a bit reckless, aren't you?" "Look, um can we meet up again soon?" "It's more difficult now." "My parents weren't thrilled about last night." "Look." "Thats my mobile number." "If you can escape, call." "Please." "All right." "I suppose I can fit you in later on in the week." "Who are you?" "Answer!" "Uh, is it okay if I just pop over to Lindas?" "Yeah, okay." "Don't be too late back." "Hello, beautiful." "You do recognize me, then." "I was talking to the car." "Hi, Johnny." "Listen, I managed to sneak out." "Can you make it to the canal?" "Uh, tonights not convenient." "I'm busy." "Convenient?" "Johnny, I'm-I'm—" "Hang on a minute." "You're breaking up." "Wh-Whats so important you can't see me?" "Um, Steve, I'm, uh I'm training." "When do you think youll finish?" "I don't know." "I've gotta go." "John." "Johnny." "Sorry." "We won't be disturbed again." "I'll see you soon." "Ring me when you get back." "See ya." "Steve?" "Steve!" "Steve, wait!" "Just get out of my life." "'Training'?" "What for?" "You lied to me." "Steve, will you just" "You lied to me!" "Steve!" "Steve, I-I haven't even spoken to Christina since the ball." "Honestly." "But don't you see?" "If I see her from time to time, then no one will suspect that you and me are" "Oh, so you're just using her." "Yeah!" "No, I mean I" "If she means nothing to you why didnt you tell me you were seeing her tonight?" "It can't work, John." "I can't stand it." "Okay." "You want the truth, right?" "I wanted to see Christina tonight." "Great." "So now I know." "Just listen, will you?" "You don't know!" "You don't know what it's like... being me." "John." "I went out with Christina because..." "I needed to feel good about... myself." "And did you?" "All I felt all I felt was that I was going through the motions holding her, kissing her, hoping wed drive past Kevin and the gang... so they can see me with the most beautiful girl in town." "And she is." "Shes really" "I like her." "I really like her." "Do you do you love her?" "Steven, I love you." "H-How do I know that?" "Well, if will make you feel better, I won't see Christina anymore." "Oh, Johnny, don't you see thats not enough?" "I want to make you feel good about yourself." "I want you to be proud of us." "But you're not!" "You're ashamed to be seen with me." "You don't want people to know were friends!" "God, when other people are around, you don't even want to talk to me!" "I will." "Liar." "I will!" "J-Just one more chance." "I'll prove I love you." "Please." "You need a shave." "I shaved last month." "Blimey." "Thought you had a driving lesson." "I have." "Hello." "Wheres Bob?" "Youve just got to give him time." "Hell come round." "he's probably scared of commitment and stuff." "he's a bastard." "A married bastard." "A married bastard with kids." "God, Lins." "I'm so sorry." "Don't feel sorry for me." "So, Julie" "You don't mind if I call you Julie, do you?" "Hop in." "You all right?" "It's at half past 5:00 tonight." "I don't think I can make it." "Your friends bring them, definitely." "Hi, Steve." "Hi." "Got some good news." "I'll meet you at the top gates at lunchtime." "These are the two, um, designs for the" "Fuck me." "Sorry, Mark?" "Sorry, sir." "Listen to this." "'Get Real." "Anonymous." "I am a pupil at this school, I am 1 6 and I am gay.," "Bloody hell!" "'Someone once wrote that ones real life... is so often the life that one does not lead." "I wish I could lead my real life." "I am writing this article because I'm angry, and because I want to impress on all of you parents... that your assumption that your children are heterosexual... may be causing them pain.," "Aren't there two Ss in 'assumption'?" "Let me see this." "We can't print this." "Why not?" "It sounds great!" "Itll give people something to talk about." "Yeah, and it's a lot more interesting than 'Walking in the Cotswolds', or whatever it could replace." "Didnt you authorize this, sir?" "No." "No, I didnt." "Someone in this room did." "Were the only ones with the password." "I did." "It was handed in anonymously, and I thought it was well-written... and thought-provoking." "It certainly is." "Look, I'll read it, but I'll have to talk to the Head about this." "Can you print it out for me, Mark?" "Sure." "Why didnt you just tell me?" "Yeah, right." "You couldve." "I told you... stuff." "Yeah, I know." "I wanted to, especially when I realized that" "But I was protecting someone else." "he's a lucky guy, whoever he is." "So am I." "Hang on." "You said it was someone at the ball." "So hes at this school." "Oh, wow." "Who is it?" "Tell me." "Go on." "I won't tell a soul, I promise." "It's not Mark?" "Oh, Wendyll be" "It's not Mark." "Yeah, well, I was right about one thing:" "You are different from other blokes." "Shit!" "Bloody fascist." "What?" "Alcock won't let us print that gay article." "Something about this sort of thing having no place in a decent school." "he's such a bloody fascist!" "'Disgusted at Basingstoke, strikes again." "Well, thats it." "Theres nothing we can do." "There is." "We can print an empty page with the word 'Censored, running across it." "We owe that much to the poor bugger who wrote it, don't we?" "Oh, I'm sure the poor bugger will be delighted." "Uh, no." "I'll catch you later." "Guess what." "You're pregnant." "No." "My parents are going away for the whole weekend." "Well, how bout it?" "Ooh, I'll have to think about it." "Fuck!" "You bastard!" "You bastard!" "And it's the magnificent Dixon out in front by a mile!" "Dixon wins again!" "Well see about that." "Hi." "Hi." "Oh!" "Hi, boss." "Oh, hi, Kev." "Um," "I was just going jogging, thought you might want to come." "Sorry, mate." "Carter and me are having a swim." "Join us if you like." "Oh, no." "I'll finish me run." "Catch ya later." "All right, mate." "I can't believe you asked him in." "It's all right." "He can't swim!" "He can't swim?" "To us." "Do you think I could persuade my parents to go and live somewhere else?" "What do you want to move out of here for?" "No, pillock." "Id stay here." "You could come and live with me." "I don't think I could do that, Johnny." "Why?" "It's just" "The wallpaper in the sitting room really clashes with the carpet." "Come here." "Will you stop worrying?" "Whos worrying?" "Youve hardly said a word all weekend." "Sorry." "You're the one who says I'm too hard on him." "If hes made a mate of this John whats-his-name," "I'm all for it." "he's going to Oxford, you know." "So he said." "Graham" "I'm back." "Hello." "Good time?" "Yeah, we had a wicked time." "Good." "You were fantastic!" "Steve." "I tried to find you before the race." "Whats going on?" "The whole schools talking about that censored page in the magazine." "Oh, that." "People are saying it was about being gay." "Was it?" "Um" "You wrote it, didnt you?" "I thought it might have been you." "I can't believe youve done this." "Don't you see?" "People know were mates now." "Does anyone know you wrote that article?" "I think Jessica might have guessed." "Oh, shit!" "Just to confirm the winner of the senior boys, 100 metres, it was John Dixon." "I guess we should sell some more magazines." "It's him, isn't it?" "What?" "You know what I mean." "The one you're protecting it's John, isn't it?" "John-fucking-Superman Dixon." "Jess" "Hi, Steve." "Uh, hi." "This is my mum and dad." "Jess." "Hello, Jess." "Hello." "Hi." "Can I interest you in a magazine?" "Oh, yes, please." "Steves winning masterpiece is in it." "There you are." "A pound." "Thank you." "All right." "I better go see if I can sell some more of these." "Okay." "I'll be back in a minute." "Jess, please!" "So thats why he dumped Christina." "Jess, please." "Youll ruin everything." "I'm not gonna say anything." "I promise." "But you have to be more discreet." "People aren't stupid." "The final event of the day, the senior four by 100 metre relay, will begin in five minutes." "Oh, John." "Hi, Dad." "Just a quick word." "Yeah, sure." "I wanted to ask you whos Steven Carter?" "What?" "Why?" "Well, these photos of you theyre fantastic." "Id really like some prints." "Is Steven here today?" "No!" "I mean, I don't know." "I don't know him." "Well, you must know him if he took these photos." "I can't remember." "It was ages ago." "Raymond, I found him." "Steven, this is Johns father." "Pleased to meet you." "Stevens been saying lovely things about the house." "Our house?" "He stayed the weekend with John." "Ah, there you are, Steven." "Hello." "We thought wed lost you." "Sorry." "Id better go." "I've got a race to run." "Uh, John, this is my mum and dad." "John." "Uh, this is Mr. and Mrs. Dixon." "Well, were not exactly mates." "But you came to our house." "Uh, yeah, just to give John a book hed lent me." "But you said you were with John all weekend." "Oh, Graham" "On your marks!" "Hang on." "Theyre starting." "Set!" "Why not wait for the baton, Dixon?" "Shit." "Whats happened to him?" "He said hed meet us here." "Whats she staring at?" "Maybe shes not happy about our son using her son as an alibi." "How do you know Johns not the liar?" "Stevens hiding something." "Graham, can we go and sit in the car for a moment?" "Why?" "Cause I've got something to tell you." "I was so fucking embarrassed." "Why did you tell your parents you were at my place?" "Because I thought we were going to be honest about being friends." "Don't worry." "If anything, theyve all decided I'm the one whos lying." "And why did you write that bloody article?" "If Jessicas guessed then everyonell know soon." "Johnny, we can get round this." "No, not if it means everyone finding out." "he's our son, Graham." "He needs our support." "Have you seen Steven?" "Oh, sorry." "No." "Can't let him be late for his award." "Maybe hes inside." "Yeah." "Uh, you must be very proud of him." "Where are you going?" "I'm going to go and watch our son get an award." "Look, can we just" "Steven, mate, I" "I'm not your mate." "Well, what are you then?" "I thought I was your" "It doesnt matter." "Well be late for the awards." "Johnny, your bag." "Bastard." "Fucking bastard." "I love you, you bastard." "What the fuck?" "Why are you going through Johns stuff?" "Probably getting a cheap thrill." "That right, is it, Carter?" "You really are queer." "Well, Johnnys our mate, and hes not queer, right?" "Say it:" "Johnnys not queer." "Say it!" "You two found my bag, or" "Whats going on?" "This little queer ripped up your shirt." "he's in love with you." "Thats right, isn't it?" "Johnny, I" "What the fuck is this?" "Wait outside." "Johnny, I" "Shut it!" "Bloody hell." "Shit!" "Johnny, Huttons—" "You queer bastard!" "For continuous sporting achievement throughout the year, this cup goes to John Dixon!" "Um, thanks." "Thank you very much." "Now, a special moment." "Some of you will already know that one of our pupils, Steven Carter, has won The Basingstoke Recorder Young Journalist Competition." "Were delighted to welcome Roger McGregor, editor of The Recorder, to give the prize." "Wheres Steve?" "I don't know." "Ladies and gentlemen, a young man were all very proud to have at this school," "Steven Carter." "Um, Steven doesnt appear to be here yet." "So, perhaps I could ask Mr. McGregor to tell us a bit about the competition." "Ah, the wanderer returns." "Ladies and gentlemen, Steven Carter." "I-I'm very proud I-I'm very grateful to have... won for the school." "But I, uh" "I feel a bit of a fraud." "You see, I-I wrote about... growing up as I imagined it must be for most of you, but there was another article which was to have been... included in the school magazine, but it was, um," "censored because it was about a young guy who just happened to be... gay." "I-I wrote that article." "I wish you could have read it so you could understand." "This is so difficult." "I'm sick of feeling totally alone." "I want to have friends who-who-who like me for who I am." "I want to be part of a family who love me for who I am and not not someone I pretend to be to keep their love." "I'm sick of hiding, of being sad and..." "scared." "Have you any idea?" "There must be more of you who feel like this like I do frightened to speak out." "Yeah, well, thanks for proving my point." "I'm-I'm gay." "Sorry, Mum," "Dad, but you can bet your life you're not the only parents out there with a gay son." "It's only love." "Whats everyone so scared of?" "Thanks for listening." "I didnt know you were such a drama queen." "Ow." "I still can't believe I did it." "My mum says shes known for a while." "John must be shitting himself." "I saw him running off towards the sports field white as a sheet." "Weren't you listening in there, Jess?" "Careful you don't know what you might catch." "Forget him. he's a" "What?" "Poof, queer, faggot?" "Anything else you can think of?" "I'll tell you what else he is." "he's my son, and I'm very proud of him." "And if you do anything to hurt him," "I'll have your bollocks for earrings." "Steve, I've got a bit of a surprise for you." "It's not quite as big a deal as you telling the whole world you're gay," "but it's a surprise anyway." "Tell me later." "I know Why don't I tell you later?" "Wheres Dad?" "he's waiting in the car." "You stay here with your mates." "I'll I'll talk to him." "Hell be fine." "Mum, I" "I know, love." "I love you too." "Mum, you're embarrassing me." "Don't be too late." "Yeah." "God, no one followed you, did they?" "No." "I'm... so sorry." "I" "I can't believe I" "You must hate me for" "Weve had more romantic moments." "Strange thing is, after Id... done that to you," "all I could think of doing was... holding you... to make it all right." "And I knew" "I really knew" "that Id never loved anyone so much." "Johnny, you do realize what I just did in there?" "Be happy." "Ta da!" "I don't believe it!" "I thought you said it wasn't as big a surprise as me tell" "Shut your face." "Fancy a drive?"