"Every year I blow out my candles and I make the same wish." "I wish I was a boy." "I was raised in New York by my mom, my mom's mom," "and my mom's mom's girlfriend." "My friends thought it was so cool." "All I ever wanted was normal." "It's been a long time and here we are." "There is absolutely nothing to worry about." "So..." "There will be weight gain." "Fat is fluid, it'll move from the hip area to the front of the belly." "Facial hair and hair growth on the chest and on your arms... that'll happen pretty fast." "Your breasts will not go away, that requires surgery." "And the great news is... you will see a drop in your menstrual cycle." "Thank God." "Periods have never been easy on young men." "It's been hard on her...him!" ""Us"!" "It's been really hard on us." "Of course, the "T"..." " It's the testosterone element to the hormone therapy..." " Testosterone." "That'll put a stop to them... pretty much." "And since Ray is 16..." "Here is the parental consent form which will need to be signed." "Okay." "What if I tried something alternative?" "What, like acupuncture?" "We'll see you at home, Mom." "What did I say?" " Hi, John." " Hey, Ramona." " How are you?" " Ray, you remember?" " Where are you going?" " I was supposed to be at Taylor's." "Be back in an hour..." "Fifty minutes... please." "Mag?" "Hot flashes'll get you every time." "I am so glad I'm over those." "I am not having a hot flash, Mom, I'm having an anxiety attack." " I thought you quit." " I have." "Oh, good, here, will you hold this a minute?" "What is this?" "It's a dead mouse, found it in the hallway." "Oh, my God." "Trying to find something to bury it in, it seems so harsh to just, ya know, throw it into the trash." " This'll do." "Don't you have tea in your own house?" "This is all my home." " Good, I like it, I just wanted..." " I wasn't saying that you can't cook, I'm just saying that..." " You can pack it with salt..." " What are you talking about?" "Just concern yourself with whether it's organic or not and not with the salt." "Do you think I was undermining him?" "Franny doesn't think I was undermining him..." " I've an announcement." " Go for it, Babe." "I don't like vegetables anymore." "I feel like I have to eat them." "You do have to eat them." "Ya know, she got tired of vegetables, too." "Dodo, when you married George Russell, did Bill Evans play here, too?" "They all played here except for Monk, because he was allergic to our dogs." " I miss Mr. Pepper." " I do, too, I loved that dog." "I couldn't stand that dog." "You two are so alike." "You should have been her mother." "What does it say that you married your daughter?" "The expression is that you get married your father, not your..." "Okay, in this case, I guess I married my mother." "Except you didn't marry me." "Because we're old-school, we didn't feel the need." "But you know what else they say..." "They say you turn into your mother." " Have another drink, Mom." " Well, thank you." "Will you take your plate, please!" "Ray, can you ask to be excused?" " Can I be excused?" " Yes!" "Well, did you take...?" " What?" " He should take his plate." "Ray, come get your plate!" " I got this." " What?" "Why can't she just be a lesbian?" "Because she's not a lesbian, Mom, she's a boy." "But she's a person who likes girls." "That could be a boy or a lesbian, and she's still getting her period, so..." "I vote:" "lesbian." " "He"! "He's" still getting a period." " Napkin." "All right, I..." "I'm staying out of this." "I just..." "I don't understand why we're in such a hurry." " Franny agrees with me on this." " No, but I am staying out of it." "I'm sorry, it just feels like mutilation to me." "I thought you said you were going to stay out of it." "Franny has been fighting against female genital mutilation, so, you'll... you'll back me up on this, won't you, Hon?" "This is not helpful, you can't take things out of context." "He needs to be at least 6 months into the hormones before he changes schools, okay?" "Why does he want to change schools?" "Because he wants a conventional experience." "Well, then be a normal lesbian!" " I can hear you." " Good!" "Join the conversation." "I just want to be normal in a regular school..." "I just want to try it." "If you want to try being gay." "Fucker!" "Well, why is "normal" the goal all of a sudden, what about being authentic?" ""Authentic" is what he wants to be." "Okay, Ray." "Okay." "Okay, thanks." "Did you sign the papers?" "You mean since we got home this afternoon?" "No." "Because that's the whole point of switching schools and stuff." "I know, but it's only February, Honey." "It takes three months to kick-in." "We agreed to take it far away." "I'm proud of you, and...?" "I'm proud of you, too." "That's so gay." " ...use that word." " I'm re-appropriating it." "You can't re-appropriate a word that doesn't apply to you." "I'm a boy with tits, I can re-appropriate whatever I want." "I can't make it to basketball tryouts tonight." "Have you got a date?" "No, I don't." " Who is he?" " Just some guy." " Are you going to try-out, Ray?" " I'm too small." " No you're not." " Does he go here?" "I'm too small, that's what they say, at least." "I can't wait to leave this school." "I'll miss you." "We live in the same city, we'll always be tight." "Can you tell Mrs. Insley, I'm gonna be late for math?" "Next!" "Excuse me, excuse me, sorry, sorry, excuse me, just a second." "I've been here a really long time and I have a quick question." "You have to wait your turn." "I'm not filing a complaint or anything, I just..." "I just wanted to get in touch personally with the man... who used to pay child support for my kid." "Call this number and the appropriate department can assist you." "Oh, but I came all the way down here, so..." "You have to call the number, Ma'am." "Okay, so, what department is that, exactly?" " The complaint department." " But I don't have a complaint." "You're complaining a lot for someone without a complaint." "Okay, listen, I just need the information for Craig Walker." "That's all I need." "Maggie!" " How are you?" " Oh, hey!" "Hey, Jake." "Now's not a good time, and I..." " You look great." " Likewise." "Sorry, okay." " Bye." " Yeah, see ya." "Yellow... schmutz..." "Where were you?" "You were supposed to see me at group." "They can't relate to me, Ma Mère, they're all freaks." "Well, I can't do this on my own." "What?" "You got some shit all over your face." "Yeah, okay, so, what about in the circumstances in which when there's only one active parent involved?" "So you're saying that I'm his...?" "... Yes." "But there are two parents." "Mom?" "Yeah, just a second, Honey, I'll be right there." "So, would you need proof if he's dead?" "Can you just have one?" "Mom, who's dead?" "Christina, who knows, he may be it." "Dead." "His name is Craig Walker." "I tried, my battery went dead." "I have an old address and number." "We haven't spoken in years." "And... ya know... he's just not part of our lives, or this decision." "I really don't understand why people have secret conversations in the bathroom." "It's the most echoey room in the house." "No, I'm gonna get back to you, you've been so helpful, thank you very much." "Are you waiting for the bathroom?" " Who were you talking to?" "Who's dead?" " Nobody." "But a girl can dream." "Mag?" "You up there?" "Mags?" "You up there?" "Can you knock... occasionally." "Hiding under my roof is not going to solve anything." "You still live with your mother." "Please, Mom, I have a deadline." " Something's gotta change." " Things are changing." "A lot of shit is changing." " Did you sign the forms?" " No." " Having second thoughts?" " No." "Yes." "I don't know." "She's 16..." "God!" "And I don't know anything about boys or men." " It's not like I had any role models." " You had me." " What ever happened...?" " I don't want a boyfriend." "Okay, well, you're too old to use that word anyway." "You know what, Mags, it's time..." "live a little." "What's it like having a penis?" "What?" "Is it great, or... well, not great?" "It's... yeah, it's... it's great." "You don't wish..." "it was... it was... it was more organized or contained?" "I don't mean I wish you had a vagina," "I just mean the penis itself, do you wish it was more..." "I mean... neat... or... in there?" " In there?" " Yeah, like "put away"?" "Nope." "Oh, okay." "Do you?" "No, but I also don't really want one." "Yours... yours is fine." "It's good, it's... yours is good." "But not for me... to keep." "Ya know, I really should go, thanks for having me." "Are... are... are you okay, or...?" "Do you think I can fake the signature?" "Will they even check?" "This doesn't taste like coconut." "It's vanilla-almond." "Then why are there coconuts all over the container?" ""Cause it's made with coconut milk, it's better for you." "I don't want "better for me", I'm miserable." "Look, I think you're afraid of finding Craig." "He just might be on-board with this." "If you're not going to comfort people with words, you should keep real ice cream in the house." "All I'm saying is maybe you really don't want him to sign it because if he signs it then you're gonna have to sign the papers." "Stop trying to turn your views into my views." "I'm not, I'm just saying they're not that... different." "They might be similar, they're not that different." "They're very different." "About this, about Ray, and about what is and what is not ice cream." "But you still ate it." "I'm actually pretty excited, 'cause..." "I gained 5 pounds in the past 2 weeks." "And... and, yeah, I mean, I'm awfully excited about how my chest is... building up, I think it looks pretty good." "No more Ace bandages... got it." "I'm counting down the weeks until I start "T"." "Each day is a good day." "Ten weeks, then nine..." " New dress." " It's obvious." "Lola Johnson is definitely a virgin." "She gives good head, I know that for sure." "You'd never go down on her, I know that for sure." "You don't even have a chance, I know she only likes guys with big dicks." "# Always #" "# Be by your side #" "Ray?" "How was your day?" " Hello?" " What?" "I said, "How was your day"?" "It kinda depends on whether or not you signed the papers." "Can we talk about it later?" "Just because you're the parent doesn't mean that you get to decide when we can talk about things." "Well, actually, it does, because I'm the only parent and I'm dealing with this shit for two." "So, I'm shit now?" "Oh, please, Ray, c'mon, you know that's not what I meant." "No, it's fine, because that's how I feel, I feel like shit, or worse than shit.." "I get to swear if I'm having a shitty day, you're the kid, you get to take it out on the parent if you're having a shitty day." " And you're doing a pretty great job without..." " I'm not having a shitty day, Mom." "I'm having a shitty existence." "Come on, Ray." "Are you having second thoughts?" "We agreed to take this slow." "What can I do to make it better?" " I'm so proud of you." " I don't want you to be proud of me." "Where are you going?" "Ray." "Ray!" "Ah, my baby, what a sweetheart." "But to think that I I spent my whole life working for women 'cause I have control over their bodies... and now I've to call my granddaughter: "he"." "Ray!" "Let me talk to you for a second." "Hey, just leave him alone." "Come on, girl." "So, you have to have different albums for everything." "Yeah, it helps to distinguished the "Ray" days from the "Ramona" days." "How about pink for before she defected?" "He didn't defect, I'm ignoring you." " Let's just do public albums..." " Blue." " And... private albums..." " Oh, private albums, blue." "No, private albums, pink, public albums, blue." "Whatever, okay." "Oh, this is very private, look at that." "You used to have a lot of boyfriends, sometimes all at the same time." "You can't make jokes out of my mistakes." "That's exactly what you're supposed to do with mistakes." "Your own mistakes, you make jokes out of your own mistakes." "Like, remember the time you thought you were straight and you married my father?" "Hilarious." "I never thought it was straight, I was just pretending." "I don't think you should jeopardize Ray's circumstances..." "just because you're afraid to face your own demons." " I went to the D.S.S." " It's not the same as going to see Craig." " Do you have any ice?" " Is that a black eye?" " Oh, my God!" " Here, Sweetie, sit down." " Are you okay?" " You all right?" "What happened?" "Here, you can have my ice, Oh, I swallowed it, I'm sorry." " Aren't you supposed to use steak?" " We don't even eat red meat." " Ice cream, get the ice cream." " I ate it all." "I thought you hated that..." "Peas, I think you can use frozen peas." "Who eats frozen peas?" "Are you kidding?" "Wow!" "Good shiner!" " I haven't' been this close to a black eye in years." " Got it!" " Oh, well." " Chicken's just like a steak." " But it isn't." " And that's not chicken, it's Cornish hen." "Exactly, this little wing is in her eye." " Are you in pain, can you see?" " I'm fine, okay?" "It was just some kids, they wanted my phone." "Oh, my God, you were mugged?" "No, Mom, it was some school kids." " Your school?" " No... school... but kids..." "Can you guys keep it together, c'mon!" " There's a hen on him." " Hold this." "Careful not to get the Rosemary in the eye." " Why, is it bad for you?" " No, but it's just pointy." "Did they get it?" "All right!" "That's my girl!" "But I lost my shoe." " Was that dinner?" " That was dinner." "It really makes me not want to be seen with you." "Well, that only makes me wanna be sure you're safe." "Can we just go home?" "Cities don't get dark." "Yeah, well, this isn't for seeing, it's for hitting, in case those kids come back." "Well, those are the kids you're sending her to school with." "Yeah, well, you sent me to public school." "That was before the sexualization of everything." "For a lesbian you're pretty judgmental." "Having sex with women doesn't mean you're open-minded, it just means you're happy." "I don't know why you had to come." "This is worse than the night I got punched." " Is that it?" " Where?" "Right there!" "Yep, that's it." " How do we do this?" " There." "Okay." "Can we just go home." "Okay, move, move, Mom, I got this." "Ray, hold this." " I got it." " What... what are you doing, Mom?" "I'm getting the shoe." " It's really don't think it's..." " ...fire escape." "Well, I don't think it's legal to steal someone's shoe." " Are you okay, Mom?" " Yeah." " Do you see?" " Yeah." "We got this." "He's a retard" "No, no, no, my granddaughter, she got mugged..." "And they took her shoe." "Watch television or something..." "it's fine." "When I was little, my Mom always wanted me to be... a princess." "Yo, Ray!" "Hey, you a girl or a boy, huh?" "Show me your dick, girl!" "Where you runnin' to, fagot?" "When I was little, my Mom always wanted me to be... a Princess, or Cinderella." "But I wanted to be..." "a race car driver, or an astronaut, or a cowboy." "I thought you've given up." "I won 10 bucks, it's my lucky day." "Well, dinner's on you then." "Did you have "The Talk"?" "Not yet." "You want me to, I will." "You just open your mouth and words come out, and things are said and it's over." "I will, I..." "I will." "I..." "I just... she was in mood, I didn't want to do it to her." "She's always in a mood, we all are." "I'm never in a mood." "No, you're just difficult." "His, he, him." "Me." "Boy." "I want to be your boyfriend." "Pray for love, for enough time, for energy and stamina." "Hey, Ray, I heard you got into a fight." " It wasn't a big deal." " Was it a guy who hit you?" "A coupla guys." "I think you're really brave." "Lame beating up on a girl, right?" "I got class, see ya later." "I think I have the wrong house." "Can I help you?" "Well, actually, I was looking for someone." "Does he live here?" "Does Craig Walker live here?" "Are you, like, a lawyer or something?" "No, no, who are you?" "I'm Sinda Walker." " A boy?" " Yes, a boy." " For how long?" " Years... five, six years." "It's gotten more intense as he's grown into himself, into a person, an articulate person." "Well, what if he gets better?" "Well, it's not a thing that gets better, because it's not "bad", it just "is"." "Yeah, we've been through therapy together on this, years of therapy," "I've talked to a million people." " Doctors?" " Yes, of course, doctors." "Well, she never wore dresses." "You said it didn't matter." "This isn't about wearing dresses, it's not a choice, it's not a whim," "Ray sees himself... his vagina is just not a part of him, it's like a mean trick." " There're risks, there're serious risks." " I know." "She may not be able to get pregnant." " What if she changes her mind?" " What if she commits suicide?" "This is..." "this is a lot, I mean, ya know..." "Look, you want me to sign it..." "look, is there a pamphlet or something, for Christ's sake?" "Yes, there is a pamphlet." "Hundreds of pamphlets and websites and support groups and message boards..." " I want to be informed." " Well, it's too late to be informed." "I didn't come here to just catch you up on the last 10 years of his life." "I don't know anything, I'm supposed to know what to do here?" "You don't have to know, this is just a bullshit formality, because you're named on the birth certificate." "My being named on the birth certificate means I have certain rights." "And I have the right to make an informed choice." "No, I'm making the informed choice, you don't ever get to make an important decision because you weren't there." "you weren't there for the school meetings, for the tantrums, for the birthdays, the gym meets, the discovery of sarcasm, or anything else." " I'm taking Zoe to the yard." " Okay." "Look, there is no more Ramona anymore, it's just "Ray"." "Yeah, I went through losing my daughter all by myself, and I will be raising my son exactly the same, by myself." "So, if you could just please..." "Why weren't we together, just ask yourself, "why"." "I didn't come here to talk about us, nobody cares about "us"." "You've certainly moved on, and I definitely think Simba doesn't care." "Sinda." "She's definitely moved on and so has your adorable baby." "You can't just show up at my house, infringe on my family and expect me to do something I don't even know I agree with." "I shouldn't have come here, I should have just faked your death certificate." "...signed it myself." "Ray?" "Ray!" "Oh, God." "Has someone turned the water off?" "Oh, it's you, all right, stay there, don't... don't... don't..." "Let me unhook this." "What, have you been exercising?" "How did it go?" "Really, you're asking me that when I'm on the floor?" "Well, so it went as expected." "No, it's not what I expected, actually." "Well, it's what I expected." "I love this conversation." "You didn't really think it would go smoothly, did you?" "He didn't sign the papers, he has a perfect baby girl, and a pretty young wife who's named after an elephant... or something." "Well, you had a perfect baby girl." "Ugh!" "Dodo?" "There you are." "I've been at the U.N. all day, arguing with a lot of men, about female circumcision." "I couldn't right it, and look what they gave me." "What am I going to do with this, I can't even re-gift it?" "Oh, sorry." "I'd ask how it went but you're lying on the floor." "Thanks for asking, Better Mom." "Are you very upset, we still love you?" "She said that, right, that... that we still love you." "Well, I hope so." "Of course, we want you here, we want you to..." "We want you to come over all the time." "Where else would I be?" "Oh, I don't know, wherever you go when you're not here." "I didn't have the conversation because she's on the floor." "How am I to know she wasn't on the floor because of "The Talk"?" " What talk?" " We have to talk." "Okay... well... ah..." "We were thinking, since Ray's going to public school next year, which is definitely happening, right?" "And you won't be paying all that artsy-fartsy tuition" " We don't mean "artsy-fartsy" in a bad way." " All right, I'm gonna handle this, okay?" "...that maybe you could redirect some of those funds to your own apartment, not attached to your mother's apartment." "You're breaking up with me..." "now?" " No!" " No, no, no!" "We're breaking out, out, out, out, into the world." "You're breaking up with me." "Sweetie, it's time." "So, who's gonna take care of you when you're old?" "We're gonna pay someone." "That's really selfish." "Ya know, I've been going to the same deli since I was 10." "There is one that's closer, but I like this one" "The guy there always says, "Thank you, Little Man"." "Mom?" "Mom." "Are you watching Chaz Bono videos again?" "No." " Ray..." " Not now, Mom." "Okay, ah..." "Dodo and Honey have asked us to move out." "Really?" "But it has nothing to do with anything, they love you." "I want to live somewhere else, don't you?" "I mean, I want to be with different neighbors and stuff, neighbors, like, wouldn't've met me when I was 7, wearing a dress." "I want to start over." "I get to start "T"." "I get to stop feeling like someone in between." "We're doing it, Mom, we're really doing it." "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go." "Oh, God." "Shit!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Holy shit!" "Are you serious?" "Ray!" "Matthew!" "Ray!" "Ray!" "Right when it's all coming together, BAM, there he is." "Just as I'm about to get the whole thing signed, or not signed, but nearly signed and there he is." "Why?" "Why was Matthew there?" " Maybe 'cause he was visiting his brother." " Yeah, well, obviously." "But... oh, God, the whole thing is so complicated." "Maybe it's happening for a reason, but why does it have to take so long." "I'm sorry, I'm trying to show you around as efficiently as possible." "You've seen the kitchen appliances, yes?" " It's such a monumental decision." "Oh, God... honestly?" "I think Ray is the only good decision I've ever made." "If we go through with this, does that make me the best mother on the planet, or the worst?" "Do you remember we were gonna name him Cole if he was a boy?" "And now she is a boy and his name is Ray, like a truck driver or something." "I know a lot of Ray's who are not truck drivers." "What if he turns around one day with a full beard, and she says, "Mom, I made a mistake"?" "Ray, do we really have to do it this now, Ray?" "Am I scared?" "You were always fidgety, and everything was always sticky or stuffy or itchy." "I said you're not coming out with us until you put the dress on." "I thought you were a boy." "Dad wanted a boy, of course." "And then they said you were a girl." " I have a surprise." " You were our boy." "I said to stay in your room until you put the dress on." "You took out your scissors and you just cut it up." "You'd cut the stupid dress to pieces." "Regrets?" "Yeah, I have regrets." "There's been a problem with the papers." "Your father has to sign them." "Okay." "But he won't." "Why does he care, he hasn't seen me since I was basically a baby." "Make him sign it!" " It's complicated." " Un-complicate it." "Okay, so, Honey suggested that you emancipate yourself from us." "Me and your father, I mean." "And that would mean that you get to make all your own decisions." "And I'm not sure I'm ready for that." "Can you stop making my problems into your problems?" "I'm not starting a new school in this body, I'm just not." "Maybe they'd make an exception, maybe... maybe you could switch mid-year." "I'm done with being an exception..." "I'm..." "Hi." "I'm looking for Craig Walker." "Mom, it's for Craig Walker." "That's Daddy, Bug, who is it?" "Who is it?" "Can I help you?" "It... it's Ramona." " Ramona." " Ray, actually." "Ah, come on in, come on in." "Sinda, this is Ramona." " Ray." " Ray, right." "Hi, it's nice to meet you, I heard a lot about you." "I doubt it, but that's nice of your to say." "Here." "So, I have siblings." "Sorta." "Half siblings... whatever." "Yeah, they're great kids." "It would have been nice to know." "So, just in case you do that again, like, leave your family and start a new one, you should tell this family about the old one." "I didn't leave my family." "I felt pretty "left"." "I didn't leave you guys, it sort of just... dissolved." "Fine, so if this family dissolves, and another one solidifies, you should..." "I didn't come here to talk about this." "I don't know what your mom told you..." "I really don't want to talk about Mom with you." "Well, does she know that you're here?" "Yeah, I was, like, "Hey, Mom, I'm gonna skip school to confront my deadbeat dad"." "I think you should call her and tell her you're here." "I'll think about it." "Well, look, I gotta get back to the office, I only come here for lunch." "Well, you should tell them you're going to be late, or stuck, or whatever." "Okay." "Hey, it's me, one of my kids is sick, so, so I'm not going to be able to make it to the office today." "Yeah, okay, thank you." "I'm not sick." "Hey, Mom, is Ray down there?" "Oh, well, okay, he must be at Taylor's or something." "Yeah, he probably did, but my phone was dead." "Are you going to stay for dinner?" "I don't know who to ask that to." "Hi, Miss Bennett, this is Sandy at the Freeman school." "Just checking in because Ray's not in today, and we wanted to make sure it was an excused absence." "I got a call that Ray wasn't in school today" "Well, it was dead." "Why didn't you call my land line." "Yes, I have a land line." "I'm sorry if you're this way because of me." "Are you this way because of me?" "I'm a lot of because of you, this isn't one of them." "Sorry." "If he finds him, he needs to tell me or everyone is grounded." "You don't believe in grounding." "Do you believe in missing children?" "She's not missing, she's just not here." "Hello?" "Oh, my God." "Ah, thank God." " Tell him I'll be right there and I will..." " Is that Craig?" "Okay, great, I'll be right there." "He's in Pleasantville." "I don't want to be the one that said "I told you so," but..." " You didn't tell me "so"." " Well, I meant to." " Let's take the Rambler." " I'm surprised he even recognized Ray." "Why have I been renting cars?" " Oh, we're definitely going." " No, you're not." " I don't think this is a radio time." " Why not?" "Because it's not a road trip, it's a mission and I'm freaking out." " Well, I'm not." " Please, Mom, stop!" "Have you ever been in the back seat of this car before, you have 6 ashtrays?" " Do you have your seatbelt on?" " There aren't any back here." "How do we used to put Ray's car seat back there?" "We rig it with a rope." "Sit back, please." "Tie yourself down with a rope." "We should get the suspension..." "Oh, you know, there might be a helmet back there, too, that we used to put on Maggie when we would take long drives." "That's ridiculous." " You know, the helmet was my idea?" " Really." "Most parents, they'd just throw their kids in the back, they'd bounce around like laundry, but not me." "I got the helmet..." "safety first." "I think I have to find a bathroom." "Are you friends with our dad?" "Not really." " Our you friends with our mom?" " No." "A long time ago..." "I had a..." "I had a different family." "I wasn't married... but..." "I had a kid." "That kid... is Ray." "So, you're like our brother." "Yeah." "Sort of." "Yeah." "Why that?" "Because I was born in a girl's body." "But you're a boy." " Can they fix it?" " Mostly." "I'm a girl in a girl's body..." "I think." " That's good, you're lucky." " Thanks." " Go, eat." " You're both lucky." " I think she's rushing into it." " Mom, not now." "Don't you... a little bit?" "You're like a Swatch?" "Oh, God." " Dare I use the bathroom here?" " What's the alternative?" "You always ask the difficult questions." "Hey, will you come stand guard, just in case there's any truck stop nonsense it might not have a lock." "We don't have time for this, Mom." "Okay, I'll pee standing up." "I may not be married to her, but I'm married to her neuroses." "It's a lose-lose." "I'm sorry, Mom, I'm breakiing out with you." "Mags?" "Mags!" " Hey!" " Come back!" "It's not funny, she's not funny." "Did I say something, again, is that the problem, what are we...?" "There'll be another friend over?" "I promise you, it's not a friend." " Maggie, happy to see you..." " Thanks for calling." " Ray?" " again." " Is he okay?" " Come in... again." "Thanks." "Oh, I didn't realize you had company." "No, these are our older kids, this is Mia, and Cole, and you remember Zoey." "You have 3 kids named Cole?" "No, they're not all named Cole." " Four." " If you're asking me, it's 3." "We have 3 kids." "Four." "Oh, my God." "I cut it." "Do you wanna get that to-go, Honey?" "I'm not leaving until he agrees to sign the papers." "Well, the thing is... your mother hasn't signed them either." "Where are they?" "Give me the papers." "What's happening?" " All right, everybody, come." " All right, coming." "Can I have a pen?" "What's the date?" "This is fucking insane." "Jesus!" "I didn't do anything, she just showed up." ""He", "he"." "Sorry... "he"." "She promised that she'd never put it back." "She promised me she'd never..." "shave her head." "All I did was tell you that Ramona..." "that Ray... was here, okay?" "You're welcome." "No, don't "you're welcome" me." "You can't suddenly decide you have rights after a hundred years of radio silence and then "you're welcome."..." "Whose fault was that?" " Yours." " Mine?" " Yeah, yours." " You sleep with..." "So, the kind of girlfriend I was should no bearing on what kind of parent..." "Don't use the word "girlfriend" like it takes some weight off your ass." "You slept with my brother!" "Oh, my..." "You slept with the Uncle What's His Name?" " Matthew, Uncle Matthew." " You slept with Uncle Matthew?" " Just say Matthew." " Mom!" "Holy hell." "Unbelievable." "Can you go to your room..." "someone's room." "Just go to someone's room." " Thanks a lot." " The damage you did to my family!" "I didn't speak to my brother for years!" "The fucking earthquake you caused!" "It doesn't change the fact we both fucked up." " I did..." "I've done everything I possibly could." " I know." "I didn't make a single..." "I did my best." "Oh, really?" "That was your best being gone for 10 years?" "I was not gone for Christ's sake" "I took her to lunches..." "One museum!" "You haven't seen her... him, since..." "I have been more present than most guys would have been in my situation." "And what position is that?" "Being busy with your other kids?" "The position of not actually being her father." "HIS father!" "HIS father!" "Ray, Ray, Ray, listen to me." " No!" "No!" "Just stop!" " Take it easy, I'm sorry." " Stop!" "You ruined it!" "You ruined it!" " I'm sorry." "Stop!" "Stop it!" "Mom!" "Mom!" "You ruined it!" "You ruined it!" "It's never gonna happen!" "I'm sorry." "You guys know that Uncle Matthew's my real dad?" "Great." "My whole life I've searched my body for scars, because I know a part of me is missing." "Everyone assumes that who I am is connected to who they thought I was... when I was born." "They're wrong." "When should I know I was definitely a boy?" "When should I know I was definitely a boy?" "Since I was four." "Since I was four." "Okay, I'm not gonna interfere anymore." "I don't want to get left at the gas station again." " She's apologizing." " I'm apologizing." " We both are." " We shouldn't have come." "Well, I still need the father's consent." "Well, wow, that's amazing, considering that Ray's got 2 dads now." "Okay, I'm sorry, I mean, that slipped out." "Well, it didn't, that's 2 more fathers than you ever had." "True, and 2 more than Mags ever had." "I mean, now it's like dads coming out of the woodwork everywhere." "Who will love him?" "I will." "He's my... grandson." "You're doing a good job." "You don't have to talk to me." "I know you're angry, and you have a right to be." "I fucked up, I know that." "So, I'm not interested." "Ray?" "I love you." "I need to go to bed." "You're the reason I don't have a dad." " I'm doing my best." " Please..." "Mom." "It's gonna be different." "A lot needs to be different before I can come here." "I know, but Craig is still your dad." "I want to emancipate myself... from all of you." "It's not the way to go, anyway, it's not that easy." "If it was easy, Mom, most kids would be doing it." "You must really hate whoever gave give you that present." "It's a..." "dead mouse." "Can I come in?" "I'm not talking first." " I hate your brother." " Okay." "I hate him for everything he's done or not done." "But I hate him especially now for talking to you." "Okay." " And I hate you, too..." " Okay." " for coming here." " Okay." "And for saying "okay" over and over again." "Which is worse than not saying anything at all." "All right." "And I hate myself, in case anyone's wondering, so, don't feel especially special or anything." " I don't." " Good." "You were, though used to be." "I wish you'd chose me." "Would you have chosen us?" " I'd like to think so." " I'd rather not think so." "Otherwise, I don't know how..." "I don't know." "So, tell me you wouldn't have." " I would..." " Just tell me... you wouldn't have." "I wouldn't have." "Good." "Can you...?" "I don't hear any slamming." "I could have been there for him." " Do you remember..." " Uncle Matthew." " Can we just say Matthew?" " Matthew." "Did you see what Jenny Schwartz was wearing today?" " Shut up." " What, I thought you loved her." "I don't love her, I'd hit that, but I don't love her." "Language!" " Would you hit that?" " I hate that." " This is Ray's mom." " Hey, Jesse..." "Taylor." "Spoon." " Is that your Dad?" " I don't have a dad." "He's a good kid." "I should... about us..." "I'll talk to you." "Come on in." "Matthew, Matthew, Matthew." " I don't remember, do you drink?" " No, yeah, not... not this early, thanks." "We didn't ask you over to have a drink." "He's gotten a little thick around the middle." "Well, so have we." "Well, no, it's a foot brace." "I mean, I probably am a little thicker around the middle, but there's also..." "We don't need to see your bra." "What we want to know is what you're doing back in the picture, and if you really know what you're getting into." "Do you really know what you're getting into?" "No, I..." "I..." "I don't." " Good answer." " That is a good answer." "Well, what about my stuff?" "Well, take it easy on her." "You never do." "Ray." "Ray." "Ray." "Look, sometimes I..." "well, not often, but sometimes... and I thought you were too young to know what you wanted," "But you do know." "And I was just afraid." "And now I..." "I realize that..." "well, who you are, and... who I love, it stays the same, and... everything is changing, it's just details." "What are you saying?" "I'm saying that's it's about time that we had a man in this family." "You wanna listen to a new beat I made from an old jazz sample?" "Yes!" " I had a conference in the City." " And?" "I thought I'd stop by and lay some heavy shit on you." "You haven't heard of them?" "You need a better ulcer." "I came to apologize." "Thank you." "I didn't realize I'd be interrupting anything." "It's... it's not anything." "I mean, it's something." "Well, he certainly wasn't invited." "It's just... you... you called Matthew and you told him and now he's here, we're all just..." "Maggie, he didn't tell me anything." "I did tell him, I told you, I told you," " I told you that you... your affair with my wife..." " Girlfriend." "makes you Ramona's father, but she's still my daughter." ""Son"!" "Shit." "I..." "I wanna be involved." "I'm not going away." "I wanna be here" "Not interested." "I didn't come here for you, I came here for Ray." "Matthew told me that Ray told him that he doesn't have a father." "He doesn't have a father." "I thought you were at Taylor's." "What was going on out there?" "He's being a douche." "Jerk." "The blue ink ran out." "Ray!" "Ray!" "Ray, can you turn it down a little?" "Sure." "I didn't know you were home." "Do you always play it this loud when I'm not home?" "Only when I'm really, really, really happy." "It was really hot in here." "I wear a lot of shit." "I'd like to know all those people." "Like, Dad and Matthew." "Or Dad Matthew or whatever." "Okay." "And Sinda and those kids." "Okay." "We can take it at your pace." "Let's talk about Ray." "And I'm gonna show you how to use this, right, it's not very complicated?" " Can I take this?" " What?" "Oh!" " Do you mind?" " Yeah, all right." " See you there." " You're welcome!" "There are things you need to know when administering testosterone... a couple of dos and don'ts." "All right, Ray?" "Thank you." "We're gonna make it." "It was cold..." "Everybody's down." " Saké!" "It's... time!" " Okay." "Okay, I'll be right there." "I'm the grandma, and my name is Dodo, like the bird." "I'm Frances, you can call me Honey." " Hey." " Hey." " Are you a fan of Japanese food?" " Yes." "Yeah, I like salmon." " Yeah, I know I'm regular." " You're regular." "Don't get up." "...Enough!" " My name is Cole." " I like the name "Cole"." "Sweetheart, will you please put that down?" "I'm proud of you."