"TAKE-AWAY ROMANCE" "Hiya!" "Amelle..." "You stink of booze!" "Were you partying all night?" "This is a bad time..." "I was going to call you..." "Good, communication is important." "What's that?" "I'm helping her out." "Helping yourself to her ass!" "I'm not stupid!" "I'd have given you everything and you cheat with a silicone bimbo?" "I got croissants." "Eat them with your slut!" "You'll never find a calm, placid girl like me." "I'm gonna be back to scar you and your slut!" "I know where you live!" "My worst lay ever, a Black..." "And not even funny." "Forget stand-up." "There are plenty of funny guys." "Who?" "I dunno..." "Franck Dubosc." "He's funny." "Besides," "I bet he's wild in bed too." "Hey, kid!" "You forgot this!" "Shit!" "It's fragile!" "You found them together?" "Together." "I was totally..." "I was mad enough to kill them both." "What's an Arab with a white?" " An idiot." " A traitor." "Her boobs were like someone's butt!" "Amelle, it's not the boobs." "It's the pussy." "Guys shop around." "Accept it or it'll make life hell." "I don't buy that." "My problem is my boobs, not my butt." "You'll net another guy in no time." "The next one has to be tough." "He won't have it easy." "I want love, love and love." "There you go!" "Chicks today want tough guys like before." "They want you to punish them." "You're too kind, man." "You have to shut a chick up!" "After that, she's hooked." "Make sure you shut her mouth!" "If she talks..." ""Shut your mouth!"" "That's it." "I get it." "See this?" "It can be scary and hurt too." "Same kind of atmosphere." "She's talking away..." ""Shut your mouth!"" "Got it." "She talks." ""Huh, what did you say?"" ""Shut your mouth!"" "Guess who this is." "Marion Cotillard!" "Great imitation." "Standing up too?" "Noom, I'm dying..." "Auntie, it's us!" "Got any food, I'm starving!" "Noom, FIFA 14 is out and you're still on 10?" "I'll be Ronaldinho." "Ok, I'm Djibril Cissé." "Injured even on PS." "I'll never find the right girl, bro." "Give me a break, Noom." "Chicks go wild for a looker like you." "It'll be like Thailand." "The next one has to be ready." "I won't kid around." "I want some pussy!" "Pow!" "Pussy!" "Pow!" "Pussy!" "The man!" "Right on!" "I'm really hot." "Get up now!" "Why?" "Why?" "I'll smack you!" "Your dad got you a Starbucks interview!" " I forgot!" " I'll remind you!" "Quiet, I'm sleeping." "I don't want your white friend here again." "He's a bad influence." "He'll spoil you." "Like your dad says, white folks don't care." "They have nothing to lose, they're at home here." " Sleep." " What're you doing?" "!" "Chill..." "Hi, everyone." "Out of cereal, Auntie." "Yeah?" "So buy some." "Ah, no, you can't." "His lordship doesn't work." "I'm not some sheep." "So how'll you live?" "Scratch cards." "I'll win sooner or later." "You scratch all you can!" " You saw?" " Drop it." "You manage with two moms?" "The third's arriving soon." "That's why your dad's beat." "Show some respect." "Cut it out, will you?" "Dad:3" " Son:" "O." "Time to catch up." "You're a good-looking guy." "Chicks should go for you." "They do, don't worry." "Excuse me, ma'am..." "I don't want to seem rude but..." "you're so hot!" "Thank you." "Sorry!" "Can't you watch where you're going?" "I'm really sorry." "I think it's fate." "It'll wash out." "Don't touch me!" "You're the washout here!" "A guy sees a butt and his eyes bug out." "Gimme a break." "Spare me the aggression." " This is it." " Thanks." "Hello." "What a washout..." "The job interview?" "Forget it." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Mr. Traoré, his dad, handles our accounts." "He's one of the family." "Give him a warm welcome." "Welcome to Starbucks." "Say hi to your dad." "I will." "Thanks for everything." "It hurts, huh?" "Need some arnica?" "I want 150,000 a year and I take my coffee black, no sugar." "Finished?" "Even with connections, you'll have to work." "And you'll see what "work" means with Jeff." "Jeff?" "Hello." "I'm Jean-Frangois, Jeff, and I'll be training you." "You're lucky." "I'm the best level 2 coach." "Great." "I was employee of the month 18 months straight." "Wonderful." "Name a drink and I'll show you." "Caramel macchiato." "Black coffee, foamed milk, caramel syrup and milk." "Three layers:" "first milk, then coffee with foamed milk on top." "Don't worry." "You'll learn." "Follow me." "Three areas..." "First, the cash registers." " Hi." " How's life?" "If you want to bear life be ready to bear death." "That's Blair Witch." "Don't worry, it's an act." "Next, drink preparation." "I'd say hi but let's not rush it..." "Thanks." "Sami, aka Romeo, but a disaster at romance." "And the third area, the cafe." "You'll work in all three, you lucky devil." "One thing:" "Amelle is off limits." "Her heart's been broken and I plan to mend it." "Got that?" " Any questions?" " Where do I start?" "You're "Versatile level 1"." "So get versatile on the restroom." "Go!" "Are we late?" "Move it!" "Sorry." "Useless!" "You look like hens!" "Wanna be in the show?" "Yes." "Get in line." "By descending ass size!" "From biggest to smallest." "A big ass, a big ass..." "An average ass, a tiny ass..." "What's among the tiny asses?" "The big asses are down that end." "A dancer is aware of her ass or doesn't dance." "Now drop your pants!" "Drop them or it's the door!" "He's nuts..." "Now bend over..." "And booty shake!" "Faster than that!" "Booty shake!" "Forget France, we're in Miami now!" "He's crazy!" "Good." "Pull 'em back up." "Not you." "Seriously?" "OK." "That's not Miami." "That's Normandy." " I have a nice butt." " For a White." "Had a good day?" "My boss pulled a fast one on me." "He made me hire a guy I didn't want." "Is he hot?" "He's kinda cute." " What's his name?" " Noom." " Asian?" " No, Black." " Nice!" " You're obsessed!" "A Black's great!" "Know what my grandma always said?" "Never go with a black guy." "A White if you can't find better but, please, never a kar/ouch." "If you do, the Good Lord will punish you." "You'll be in car crashes, train crashes, plane crashes..." "And don't come crying to me." "The brainwashing begins early." "If your gran saw a Black in the raw, she'd change her mind." "I swear!" " Cut it out!" " It's true." " Respect my gran." " I do but... she'd change her mind." "Plenty of chicks here." "We'll score, man." "How's it going?" "SQ?" "Any chicks at Starbucks?" "The boss is an Arab but she's a drag." "She acts like a state minister." "Any good?" "At busting balls!" "But is she skiable?" "Watch the Arabs, bro." "Know what my grandpa said?" "When you grow up, settle with one of our girls." "A pretty, dignified African girl..." "Not a white girl?" "No need." "You already have French nationality." "And an Arab?" "The good thing with Arabs is they're a mix of black and white." "Big hips and real hair." "Don't worry, I won't back down." "I'll show her who's the man." "Want to meet her family?" "All the hassle?" "Such as?" "Hey, she's an Arab." "Police raids, interrogations, ballistics..." "Just thinking about it wears me out." "Just a one-night stand." "Great." "Follow my lead, drop the Arabs and go Brazilian." "Watch this." "Mojito?" "A memo." "We're dancing but I don't know your name." "Your name?" "Tatiana." " Let's split." " Introduce me." "Sorry, gotta go." "Well?" "Noom cancelled his order." "Sorry." "When this happens, press here right away." " Ok?" " I'll do that." "Thanks." "You lost your..." "A fake boob?" "Give me that." "A drink?" "Dinner?" "I know a good place." "I don't want to." "Give me that." "It's getting hard..." "Ok, all right." " You're sure?" " Yes." " Hello, Amelle." " Hello." " Everything ok?" " Yeah!" "How's Noom doing?" "He's fitting in." "He can improve." "Tomorrow night?" "I have a date with the boss..." "How's it going?" " What're you doing?" " Writing jokes." "I wanted to talk to you." "I'm embarrassed about earlier." "Forget it." "I wanted to thank you but dinner isn't possible." "I'm not trying to pick you up but you don't need them." "You're really cute." "I swear." "Get rid of them." "Think so?" "I'm sure." "Seriously." "Go on, remove them." "Let me see." "Turn round." "No, put them back." "Yeah, put them back." "C'mon, I'm kidding!" "Jerk!" "How's your Black doing?" "He asked me to dinner but I can't go." "Why not?" "Because of your grandmother?" "This isn't the 12th century!" "You like him?" "Yes, but I don't want to hurt my dad who's 65 now, period." "You're 30, you manage a Starbucks." "You can't let your parents rule your life!" "I'm 29." " You like him?" " Yes." "So just go for it." "What're you doing?" "Getting Beyoncé's butt." "You look like a cripple!" "Gonna bang the Starbucks boss?" "Yeah." "Smart move." "We'll be rich." "I'll give her the works." "The man!" "Doing your little curls with your little curling tongs..." " Take your plastic." " Why?" "With them, either you pay or you pay." "Rubbish." "You've really gone to town." "And you ain't seen nothing yet." "A table for two?" "Follow me." "If I may..." "There's something good." "The Hippo Saver menu." "Or the Smart Hippo one." "They're both great." "An aperitif first?" "No, you don't get it." "It's written here..." "Starter and main." "No aperitif." "That's ok, I'll have a glass of champagne." "Champagne straight off..." "Modern-day Arabs..." "Excuse me!" "A glass of champagne for the lady and a glass of water for me." "Mineral water?" "No, I'd prefer tap water." "And two Saver menus." "Not for me." "A Smart menu then." "No, not for me." "I'll have the beef rib for two with green beans." "Big appetite." "But Ramadan's over." "The rib for two with green beans looks good." "It is good." "So..." "Where do you live?" "In Paris, in a small apartment, alone." "That's good." "Independent..." "And you?" "Paris too." "Yeah?" "Which neighborhood?" "The suburbs." "So how's Starbucks?" "It's pretty good." "But I dream of my own restaurant, somewhere sunny." "Nice!" " And you?" " My show." "I do stand-up." "You're a comedian?" "Like Franck Dubosc?" "Give me a break with Franck Dubosc." "No, more like Richard Pryor or Chris Rock." "How do we do this?" "The usual way when a boy asks a girl out." "In that case... it's give-and-take." "Why not?" "Excuse me." "Be right back." "8O euros and no tail." "Could she blow me?" "A little souvenir." "How cute, a tiny hippo." "Thank you." "My pleasure." "Pussy tag!" "You didn't see that coming!" "The look on his face when I got the napkin out!" "He was like this..." "Totally lost." " He was nice then?" " Very." "Plus he's ambitious." "He's funny." "When a chick has her period, you give up?" "It's gross." "Let me explain." "This is an old Chinese proverb, ok." ""When the river runs red, take the muddy path."" " Yeah, bro." " You're gross too!" " I'll show you!" " Cut it out!" "Come here..." "Get off me, Julien!" " Ok..." " No, I'm serious!" "Stop now!" "Climb down!" "I checked." "Her period should be over." "If not, it's a hemorrhage." "Ok, got it." "No calls during working hours." "Want to see a movie?" "I don't know..." "Why not?" " Got a season pass?" " No." "Shit." "I hear that one's good." "He dies at the end." "You've spoiled it now!" "No need to see that one." "Hello." "Two, please." "A kiss." "No, not here." "Wait a second." "Wait!" "Cut it out, will you?" "We're not kids..." "Don't touch me." "I bought your ticket!" "Stop it!" " So touch me." " Cut it out!" "Quit kicking my seat!" "Don't hush me!" "We're in a cinema..." "It's coz we're Black and Arab." "Damn racists!" "It's not that." "Ok, lady, I understand "hush"." "Quit looking at me!" "Just drop it, ok." "In North Africa, in the sun, with the camels, you make plenty of noise!" "Stop insulting people!" "132 years in Algeria, we never told you "hush"!" "Calm down!" "Sorry about that." "Forgive us." "Why are you apologizing?" "400 years of slavery and it's still" ""Yes, sir, forgive me..."" "Break your chains, Django!" "Shut your mouth!" " What?" " I said, "Shut your mouth."" "Hear how he spoke to me?" "He said nothing." " Dumbass." " What?" " Do something." " Respect, guys." "What?" "We'll knife you, bastard!" "Watch your tone, ok." "Whassup?" "It's ok..." "Are you ok?" "I'm ok." "There were four or five of them." "I flattened at least two of them." "You called for your mom." "Sorry." "I didn't." "You said it in Italian!" ""Mamma, mamma!"" "At least they didn't touch you." "I'll walk you home." "Go to the ER." "No, I'm ok, thanks." "Well..." "Thanks again." "You're welcome." " A goodnight kiss?" " Ok." "Dick tag!" "Just kidding." "I had a lovely evening." "Kisses." "Thanks for defending me." "You're so brave." "It's nothing." "Amelle, I have to see you soon to report your dad to the cops for taking the stars from the sky for your eyes..." "What a square!" "Using lines from the 80$..." "How can I answer that?" "I'm going to sleep." "How do you sleep?" "With my eyes closed." "For sweet dreams, here's a photo of me." "What's that?" "Looks like the Channel Tunnel." "Shit, it's his nose!" "He wants to play sexy photos?" "Wow, cute beauty spots!" "This guy's so funny..." "I love it." " Here you go." " Have a good day." "Hey, you!" "What?" "Come with me." " Call this clean?" " Yeah." "Think I can't see what you're up to?" "I told you:" "Amelle and I are Viennese chocolate." "I'm the milk, she's the chocolate and you're the useless cocoa powder." "We're just colleagues." "Exactly." "Let it stay that way." "Work kills three evils:" "boredom, vice and need!" " Tonight's the night?" " You bet." "Nike shoes, clean socks," "Calvin Klein boxer," "Kooples shirt," "Casio synchronized, phone for sex tape..." "I'm giving her the works, man!" "Who's the man?" "You are!" "Pretty boy, huh?" ""How's it going, baby?"" "A month?" "!" " Yes, a month." " Are you crazy?" "That's 4 weeks, 31 days, 720 hours." "When I sleep sooner with a guy, it never works." "I want to be sure now." "It's ok, I'm sure for both of us." "C'mon, no one waits a month!" "OK..." "What do we do?" "Watch a TV series." "The new "Desperate Housewives" set." "No thanks." "No tail, I get to choose the movie." " Seen "The Players"?" " Yes." "Good, huh?" "They get laid and they're happy." "You're a slave to my voice." "You want to sleep with me." "You really want to sleep with me." "Well?" "Satisfied?" "Yes, but I'm still considering the SLR McLaren..." "The keys." "Here you go." "License..." "Thanks for coming." "A month?" "It's nothing, just 4 weeks, 31 days, 720 hours." "Want some advice on how to get laid sooner?" "Change chicks." "No way." "I like her." " Like her?" "What a sap." " Bullshit!" " You're a sap!" " No way!" "Chocolate hearts next?" "I can be into her, can't I?" "It's simple." " When're you seeing her?" " Tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "Cancel tomorrow." "Why?" "Play the man a little." "Ok, a guy's night out tomorrow." "We'll go bowling." "Bowling?" "Cool!" "Thank you." "See her?" "I'll give her my "dump-your-guy" look." "Ok, go for it." "Hello." " A tall..." " Don't speak." "I bet you cause global warming." "Are you Cuban?" "Hello, a tall Chai Tea, please." "Here or to go?" "To go." "To go, she said." " It's free." " Thanks." "Only natural." "Your Chai Tea Latte." "Made with a lot of love... and fresh water." "I've booked a romantic little Italian place." " When?" " Tonight." "Sorry, tonight's my guys' night." " Who'll be there?" " The guys." "Stéphane, Julien, Caroline, Said..." " Who'?" " Said." " Before him." " Jufien?" " No, after him." " Caroline?" "Yes, Caroline." "Caroline... your ex." "Yeah." "The one you couldn't communicate with." "Except on a sexual level." "What'll you do when you see her?" "You'll jump on her!" "No way!" "Not in front of everyone!" "No, I'm not going to do it!" "That's why I don't want you there." "Caroline is still in love with me." "Seeing us will break her heart." "She's fragile, see." "Hold on, I'm fragile too." "No way, you're a mountain girl!" "You carry goats on your back!" " Kar/ouch?" " It's a mountain thing." "C'mon, Amelle." "Stop sulking." "I won't go, ok." "I'm not going." "If it bothers you, I'll stay." "C'mon, stop sulking." "Give me a smile." "Just a little smile." "You're so beautiful when you smile." "Where's your restaurant?" "Near Sacred Heart." "There you go." "I'm going to Sacred Heart with my sweetheart." "All right." "I'm sorry." " I got carried away." " It's ok." "If you want to see the guys, go." "Ok, I'll call you." "Thanks!" "Look..." "The champ!" "Well played." "Amelle said nothing?" "She sulked but I was the man." ""I'm going out so shut your mouth!"" "You took me everywhere." "You weren't ashamed." "Go, girl!" "Why'd you dump her?" "It was too heavy for me." " Who is it?" " Guess." "The man!" "Your voice-mail..." "I hope you're having fun." "Call me back." "Love and kisses, baby." "That's her again?" "I'm not answering!" "We're not answering!" "Your voice-mail again." "You're with your ex?" "If there's a problem, we can talk it over, ok." "Call me." "I set it!" "What a drag!" "You're not firm enough." "All right!" "The man!" "Listen up, you loser!" "I hope you've had an accident!" "Watch out, I know a gang of Yugoslavs who'll kidnap you, your dad, your mom and your sister." "With a cigarette, they'll burn the soles of your feet..." "She's nuts." "Listen to this." "They'll make fruit salad with your guts!" "I'm getting mad now..." "You're in danger, man." "Watch Arab girls, they have no limits." "I'm sleeping at home tonight!" "You scared me." "Fun evening?" "What were those crazy messages?" " Messages?" " The threats." "What?" "I have evidence." "I filed a police report just in case." "I was a bit jealous." "A bit?" "You were rabid." "You didn't call me, you didn't come over." "Do what you say you'll do." "I was worried you'd been run down." "You went too far." "I don't get it." "Don't you care about me?" "I do." "I want you to meet my best friend, Julien." " Seriously?" " Yeah." "All right." "But call next time." "Don't do it again." "Noom, move it, a guy puked in the can." "I'll see to it." " Everything ok?" " Yes." " Trouble with Noom?" " No." " He bothered you?" " No." " You're sure?" " Don't worry." "See you later." "She's bringing a friend." "Barbara has it as tough as you so maybe..." "Barbara?" "I like it." "Right..." "I have to be good to hook her." "Be right back!" "Not so much!" "Brut by Fabergé." "No woman can resist." "Daddy Brut..." "C'mon, hurry it up." "By the way, he's bringing his pal Julien." "Some jerk on minimum benefit but you don't care." "Ok." "He doesn't do anything?" "Nothing at all." "Hi!" "How's it going?" "Julien..." "Amelle." "Delighted." "Barbara..." "Noom." "And Julien." "You can't compare an Aston Martin and an SLS." "It's debatable." "I'd rather blow 200 grand on an SLS than 100 on a Vantage." "I love vintage." "Vantage!" "Vantage is the name of the car." "OK." "To judge a car, try it out." "Grab the gearshift." "I see the lady knows her stuff." "Of course." "I've tried out the SLS." "In your dreams!" "Noom, did I try it out or not?" "Shit, are you sulking?" "No, I'm tired." "The lack of sleep." "Of something else." "Go on, say it." "His lordship's sulking because I'm keeping him waiting." "His lordship isn't happy." "Everyone knows now." "Abstinence does no harm." "We're not animals." "I agree with Barbara again." "We're not animals." "Honestly..." "Are you sex-obsessed?" " Where you'd live?" " And you?" " In the Marais." " Me too." "Cut it out!" "Where?" "Place du Marais..." "One more for the road?" "I'm beat." "Seriously?" "Julien?" "No, I have to work tomorrow." "You don't work!" "Shut up..." "Wanna get a cab with me?" "Totally." "Bye." "See you." "32, Rue du Temple, please." "That's right." "Know what would be nice?" " We do the same?" " No, you walk me home." "You're a slave to my voice." "Give my pecker a kiss." "It's hopeless." "Thank you." "Goodbye." "What's up?" "It's not your break yet." "What's wrong?" "I'm ok, don't worry." "I needed some air." "I'll see you tonight?" "No, I have a dance rehearsal." "That's right." "Tomorrow, then?" "I'm seeing my folks." "I'm seeing mine too." "Are you ok?" "I'm fine, just fine." "You're beautiful." " See you after lunch?" " Yes." "Mom says you've met a nice guy from a good family who makes 10 grand a month." "More or less." "About time too, dear." "Is he from Algeria?" "Not from Oran, I hope." "I hate them." "No, from further south." "Is she from Mali?" "Not from Bamako, I hope." "I hate them." "No, she's from further north." "Northerners are honest folks." "Southerners are honest folks." "Tassili?" " Further south." " Further south?" "She's from Mopti then?" " No, further north." " Further north?" "Further south is Mali!" "Further north is Algeria!" "She's not Algerian?" "He's not Malian?" " From In Guezam then." " Exactly." "As long as he's not Black." "As long as she's not an Arab." "Then again, honey, Arabs have big hips." "And real hair." "And haggle well at the market." "But that's all." "As for the rest..." "Girls aren't like they used to be!" "They won't stay at home, they want minibreaks, they want to go to Coyote Park." "With a park just outside." "A good one." "Why pay when there's a free one just outside?" "I actually agree with you for once." "See you tomorrow." "Take care." "I have a surprise." "I love surprises." "What is it?" "A romantic trip to the sun." "The Maldives?" "Better, no time difference." "Really romantic!" "It was this or no weekend." "You drive so slowly!" "I don't believe it!" "I'm just careful." "There's stuff Blacks can't do." "Skiing, swimming, driving..." "Speed up!" "We didn't steal the car." "Meaning?" "Nothing at all." "Your brother's keys are a screwdriver, right?" "A joke!" " Pee stop?" " After 15 miles?" "!" "Please, Noom, stop." "I'm gonna wet myself." "I need to go too." "You're a drag." "You don't know how it feels." "It takes them 15 minutes to piss?" "!" "Let's have the radio on." "I love this." "Aim for the moon" "It doesn't scare me" "Even worn out" "I believe in Weight Watchers..." "Stop!" "Are you nuts?" "Grow up, that's for teenyboppers!" "Listen to real French songs with proper lyrics." "You want my pecker?" "You're gonna get it" "Cut it out!" "Come to my kasbah I'll make you gaga" "Come to my bungalow For a titty show" "You're a hopeless case." "Ok, some music everyone likes..." "I'll be right back." "Hello." "This is the largest and greenest Coyote Park in Europe." " How big?" " 435 hectares." "435?" "How about that!" "The water park is great, right?" "Yes." "Want to see it?" "I'd love to." "Come on, I'll show you." "Don't mind me!" "I'm not blind." "Settle in and enjoy your stay." "If you need anything, I'm here to help." "Thank you." "That was great." "Crazy golf?" "The water chute?" "We're kinda beat after the drive." "We'll have a quick half-hour nap." "Just half an hour." "It's open." "It's really cute!" "An hour and a half." "They're animals!" "No, just normal human beings in love." "Let's go, young lovers!" "You're here!" "You bet." " Where to?" " The castle." " We've been waiting an hour." " Let's go." "Julien says Noom's on edge." "He'll snap soon." "It's all clear with you and Julien." "You're going wild." "Turn over, please." "It's relaxing." "You should try it too." "Know how you and I differ?" "No." "I buy cucumbers for my eyes." "When are you removing that poker?" "So uptight, you stress us all out." "Give it a rest, ok." " You're beautiful!" " Thanks." "That girl looks familiar..." "Didn't she show us to the bungalow?" "Yes, that's her." "What's her name?" "Vanessa, I think." "She's beautiful." "She's ok." "Bravo." "Not bad." "I don't find her that amazing." "Want to try it?" "I was a swim champ at school." "I never told you?" "Watch this." " What're you doing?" " Wimp." "Gonna dive?" "It's a bluff." "10 euros she won't do it." "She's not gonna do it." "She'll stop at the edge." "Swim champ, my ass!" "Help her!" "I can't swim." "Do something!" "Stand back, please." "Give her air." "There, she isn't dead!" "That's good..." "I don't know how to thank you." "Just doing my job." "You're fantastic, thanks." "You're welcome." "What a fright!" "I'll be going." "Wait." "Are you ok, Amelle?" "Everything ok?" "I'm ok, thanks." "Everyone calls Amelle Two Face now." "Seriously?" "Shit!" "The shame of it!" "I'll get her." "Hurry." "All dressed up?" "We're going clubbing." "Changed your mind?" "For the hot bimbos?" " Forget the bimbos." " Not staying with me?" "Get some rest." "You need it." " What's up?" " I'm coming." "No, you're not coming!" "Fuck!" "Why go clubbing with my girl?" "It's like taking food to a restaurant." "Shit..." "Get lost!" "The day's heroine!" " How's it going?" " Great." " What's your name again?" " Noom." "You did an amazing job this afternoon." "Want a drink?" "Some champagne." "Excuse me!" "A glass of champagne!" "What do you do?" "I'm in stand-up." "Yeah?" "Where?" "I'm writing now and working for a multinational." "That reminds me of a joke." "Listen..." "Look, he's laughing like a hyena!" "Why's he being such a slut?" "See who he's talking to?" "Didn't she save your life?" "Yeah." "Hideous hair color." "I like it." "If they look, pretend we're having a blast." "Cheers!" "It's wild here..." "The butterfly now!" " What?" " Nothing." " How's it going?" " Great." " Having fun?" " It's cool." "So I see." " Remember me?" " Two Face, right?" "No, I'm Amelle, his girl." "His lover, not a friend." "OK." "How you'd do your roots?" "Let's talk about your color." "Lay off her!" "You're coming on to her in front of me!" "I'm not." "And I bet she doesn't wait a month!" "Just drop it, ok." "What's the problem?" "What's up?" "Everything's fine." "I was kidding!" "I'm sloshed!" "Let go of me!" "Communists!" "Thank you." "It's ok!" "I get the message!" "When I finally get into a club, I'm thrown out." "Thanks." "My head..." "The way you screamed when security picked you up!" "What?" "And you didn't scream?" "I didn't scream." "I was defending you!" "No, you were in pain." "Don't let me influence anyone, but if I was his chick and he screamed like that, it'd be over." "If I was your chick and you came on to other babes," "I'd have left you long ago." "I never did that!" "Good morning." "If you need to talk, I'm here." "Bastards..." "Diving for Dummies" "Did you tell them?" "No, your belly-flop's on YouTube." "1 million hits." "I wanted to tell you..." "Sorry about Vanessa." "I went too far." "It's tough for me, see." "But I can wait another month." "You're worth it." "We're not animals." "Right, I'll be going." "What?" "I'm ready." " Ready for what?" " Soccer, stupid!" "Who's the man?" "Good job!" "Whassup?" "Shut your mouth!" "Go, Noom!" "Go, Noom!" "Keep going!" "It's me!" "I just did it with Amelle." "You bet I was good!" "Barbara?" "Hi..." "Yes, we just did it." "She got the black magic." "Yeah, good but you know..." "Yeah..." "No, totally." "I gave her the all-night millennium package!" "He kept on spanking my behind like a jungle drum!" "You like that, huh?" "She was wild, begging for more." "He went like your little dog..." "She was going..." "I love this!" "I love it!" "The guy was crazy!" "He said, "insult me!"" "I said, "Screw you!"" "I have to get back." "You bet I'm going back." "Time for round 2." "Hold on..." "I'll call you later." "How was life before me?" "Had many guys?" "You don't ask that." "You can tell me." "How many chicks for you?" "I'm a guy, it's different." "No idea, I never counted." "19." "And you?" "Hold on... 23." "And 24 with you." "24?" "!" "Yeah, 24." "What's the problem?" "How could you have 24?" "You started in kindergarten or what?" "Judging me?" "No, but 24's a lot." "You're judging me!" "I'm not." "It's your life." "Yes, it's my life." "And it's my business." "I mean, 24's a lot." "Those 24..." "If you ranked them..." "Where am I?" "Second?" "First?" " I can't answer!" " Why not?" "It's not some dumb competition!" " I don't care." " Seriously?" "I'm kidding, ok!" "Amelle, I don't care about that." "Come on, give me a cuddle." "OK." "What's going on?" "What's that lecherous look?" "Nothing." "I'm not..." "Sorry." "Excuse me." "The great thing with Jeff is his mermaid tattoo matches his fishy breath!" "Poor guy." "Stop it." "Imagine he worked for Blue Elephant!" "You have no right!" "With his greasy, Droopy Dog hair." "We're going to be late." "I have to make a good impression on your folks." "They know you're Arab." "Dad said," ""if the second is African, it makes up for the Arab!"" "Taking two wives too?" "Of course not." "I'm French, fully integrated." "I'll get a mistress." "Come on, let's go." "I'm starving." "I hope they serve halal meat." "You're weird." "Yesterday, we had sex and now you eat halal?" "A hijab tomorrow?" "Why not?" "Wear a hijab and it's over." "Not fair!" "The hijab scares France and I'm French." "Great attitude, Mr. France!" "Life is choices:" "hijab or G-string, period!" "I make you choose between a bone in your nose or your lip?" "Hello!" "3 hours later" "Thanks again." "It was delicious." "What's the idea behind the burqa?" "Guess who?" "Burqa!" "Want to know something?" "It's kind of awkward to say..." "But you guys stink!" "It's awkward to say this too but it's scary flying next to you." "All you do is stare at butts!" ""A butt!" "My dick's as big as Paris!" "I'll wear it as a necktie." "Hi, here's my schlong, let's get acquainted."" "You're in war and bombings!" "You wear flip-flops in winter!" "Call that normal?" "How about 9-11 and all that?" "The Twin Towers, the planes!" "All you eat is chicken and rice!" "Try varying the diet!" "Terrorists, shooting away!" "Everyone dies!" "Hold on!" "The condom ruptured!" "No big deal." "It is." " What?" " Maybe I caught something." " What?" " Some African disease." "Bullshit." "But that's not all." "I'm not on the pill." "Hold on a second!" " You could get pregnant?" " Yes." "What a dumb bitch!" "Fuck!" "You've fucked up my life!" "You could be pregnant?" "I knew it!" "That's Arabs for you!" "You stab us in the back!" "Don't touch me!" "Once is enough!" " I have the answer." " There isn't one." "The morning-after pill." "Of course." "No problem." "I was so scared!" "It's all right." "Go buy it." "The pharmacist knows me." "You go." "I was on the level." "I brought condoms." "You aren't on the pill." "Live with it." "Go or we have a kid!" "Take the pill, quick!" "I'm Black, I'm super-fertile!" "I was thinking while you were away." "We should keep it." "Shut your mouth." "A mixed-race kid like Barack Obama." "Maybe he'll be president." "We can't know his future." "I've found a great name." "Know what we'll call him?" "Abdelkader!" "Amelle, cut it out now." "We're not ready!" "We can't!" "My PlayStation only has one control!" "What is it?" "A contraction." "Take it or I'll beat you up." "It may not work." "Take it or I'll whup you for sure!" "Give me some water." "Here you go." "Take it." "Open wide." "She's totally crazy." "She thinks we can have kids at random." "I mean, I'm not West Indian." "That stern air hides a fiery personality, right?" "I'm not that easy either." "An espresso." "I'm Sami." "I finish at 5." "We can talk." "Lovely..." "Talk about..." "Change tactics." " Think so?" " You're too direct." "I was this close." "You think so too?" "Happiness is woe's silence." "Happiness is woe's silence." "That's beautiful." "I wanted to say, there won't be a 25th." "Yeah?" "For me, there won't be... another." "A 20th." "Right, that's it." "Hey, Amelle..." "I haven't met your folks." "Is something wrong?" "No, not with my folks." "I told you they're open-minded." "Yeah?" "So when do I meet them?" "Whenever." "Tomorrow." "That's not possible." "The day after." "Amelle, you can't hide me forever." "Did I say I would?" "If you're ashamed, say so." "I'm not ashamed of you!" "But Dad's away." "After my dance show." "After your show." "We meet the folks." "Dad, Mom..." "Uncle, kids, grandkids..." "All the terrorists..." "Stop winding me up." "There has to be one in the family." "Some little bearded guy letting off firecrackers in the garden!" " Move it." " Give me a break." "He hates us being late." " Are your folks coming?" " No, Noom is." "Take a seat, sir." "If she wanted us here, she'd have invited us." "She has a lot of things to deal with right now." "It slipped her mind." "All right." "I'm sure she'll be pleased." "Big crowd for a dance show." "Imagine you here." "My dream, a big stage, loads of people..." "It's scary." "A lot of pressure." "But I'm ready for it." " Been writing?" " Every day." "Apart from text messages." "I've written about you." "A redhead pal squatting my place." "It's funny." "About me?" "Go, baby!" "You were awesome!" "That was great!" "Well, you were." "There's a guy staring at us." "Dad?" "What are you doing here?" "This is great!" "How are you?" "Everyone swaps kisses here..." "Come home, I've made cakes." "Really?" "Yes, all come back." "That's kind but we're tired." "Let's all go." "He said all of you." "No, we'll be going." "Bye, Safia." "I was so stressed, I thought I forgot to invite you." "You did forget." "Without Jeff, we'd have missed it." "I have to go." "Already?" "He's on duty tonight." "Thank you." "I loved the cakes." "Glad to have met you." "I hope we see you soon." "So do I. Goodbye." "Goodbye, Mr. Comedian." "I'll just show him out." "Do as you want." "It went well." "You're impossible." "You bet." "She brings a Black here and she kisses him too." " Your parents are cool." " I told you." "You always spoil the best times." "Are you color blind or what?" "Can't you see he's Black?" "I was stressed about it but..." "I'll see you later?" "OK, bye." "Your father's perfectly fine." "But he keeps saying," ""I want to die, I want to die."" "Good luck." "Go on in." "I'll get something to drink." "Dad, what's going on here?" "You tried to kill your dad." "I did right, I brought you to France... and you bring a Black home." "Euthanize me." "Enough talk of euthanasia, Dad." "Stay with the Black and I'm not your dad." "I'm not in love, he's just a friend." "A friend?" "So why did you kiss him?" "I don't know." "I do odd things when I'm tired." "He forced me." "He's not important." "Can you really see me with a Black?" "That's reassuring." "I knew you had your head on straight." "But if he forced you, see the police." "OK, Dad, ok." "I have to get back to work." "Try to rest." "Don't do anything silly." "If you don't do anything silly, I won't either!" "Wait, please!" "Wait!" "Hold on a second." " Where to?" " The suburbs." " No way." " Because I'm Black?" "And I'm yellow?" "Get lost, stupid!" " Are you ok?" " I'm fine." "Noom called to say he's resigning." "The pressure, I guess." "He can always find work in a kebab place." "Of course." "You heard about my dad?" " No" " He's in the hospital." "You know why?" "Someone invited him to see something he didn't want to see." "Ring a bell?" "Sami!" "You're fired." "Just go." "What?" "You can't do this to me." "Starbucks is my life!" "I love you, Amelle." "The Starbucks mermaid is like a mother for me!" "I do it all here, all three areas!" "Three weeks later..." "Hello, dear." "Juda!" "I thought you were in Algeria!" "No, I wasn't in Algeria, I was in Miami." "Miami?" "You don't speak any English." "You need to speak English to go to Miami?" "I came when I heard about your dad." "He makes such a mess of things." "And you too." "You too." "You think it's still the Middle Ages or what?" "You always told me," ""Go with a Black and God will make you have an accident."" "I said that way before the iPhone." "You have to move with the times, my girl." "To keep a man, cook good meals for him." "And, above all, you need plastic bosoms." "Huge plastic bosoms." "Men love them." "You've changed, Juda." "No, dear, I move with the times." "Listen, dear, the main thing is that he's a decent guy who takes care of you." "I hope he's a decent guy." "Go on, what are you waiting for?" "And Dad?" "He's my son and I'll set him straight about this." "Off you go." "Thank you." "Why're you here?" "I wanted to say what you heard at the hospital was for my dad's sake." "I didn't mean it." "I was a coward but too bad." "Isn't it a bit late?" " It's never too late." " For me it is." "I can get plastic boobs." "Hi there!" "I'll leave you to it." "The Coyote Park chick?" "I'm just helping her out." "Helping her out?" "Helping yourself to her ass!" "I'm not stupid!" "I was ready to turn my own dad against me and you sleep with the first bimbo along?" "How can you look at yourself in the mirror?" "That's a good one." "Strike" "Taxi!" " Where to?" " Paris" " Sorry." " Coz I'm an Arab?" "I'm an Arab too, dumb-ass!" "Get your hands off my car!" "Go back home!" "Six months later..." " Can I have a word?" " Quick, I'm unstressing." "Amelle's making a fortune in her new job." "You screwed up!" "She could have kept you..." "Thanks, that'll help me relax." "It's ok, you're funnier than Dubosc!" "That's why I say a Black-Arab couple won't work." "Sorry, it just won't." "Ok, you Arab girls have big hips and real hair..." "He's right." "You don't get it!" "Suffering is more heroic than dying fast." "Blair Witch?" "You're here?" "You're screwing up, man!" "Just go to her." "After what she did?" "No way." "She loves you." "She told us." "She fell out with her dad over you." "Do you love her or not?" "Go on, go to her." "She's waiting." "She loves you!" "Like crazy!" "Show you're the man!" "I guess I'll be going." "Sorry, there'll be no refund." "Have a good evening." "Thank you!" "Here." "What are you doing here?" "I had a question for you." "Still at 24?" "Over 40 now." "Anything else?" "No..." "Have a seat." "I'll bring you your coffee." "Here." "Thanks." "You got your restaurant in the sun." "Where are you up to?" "I'm stuck at 20." "I'm not an easy lay, you'll have to fight." " Yeah?" " You bet." "Fight how?" "Tell me." "How?" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "What?" "Kiss me." "No, I'll decide." "See, you are an easy lay." "Coffee, sir?" "Good." "Sugar?" "Stirrer?" "No sugar, no stirrer." "One euro, please." "I know you." "Weren't you at Starbucks?" "That's over now." "One euro, please." "Thank you, sir." "Subtitles by Ian Burley, a.s.i.f." "Subtitling:" "Eclair Group"