"(BARKING)" "(PIANO PLAYING)" "ALFALFA: (SINGING) Beautiful dreamer" "Wake unto me" "Starlight and dew drops Are waiting for thee" "Sounds of the rude world Heard in the day" "Lulled by the moonlight Have all passed away" "(SINGS TUNELESSLY) Beautiful dreamer" "(GROANS)" "Queen of my song" "(SIGHS)" "List while I woo thee" "With soft melody" "Gone are the cares of..." "(BLOWS)" "(GAGS)" "(CHOKES) -(STUDENTS REACT)" "Alfalfa?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah, thanks, Darla." "(GIGGLES)" "Well, thank you for that lovely performance for Share Day." "But I'm not finished yet." "Yeah, you are." "Allow me to show you how it's really done." "All right, Waldo, but this will be the last song today." "Afterwards, we need to get back to work." "(STUDENTS GROAN)" "(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)" "Oh." "(SINGING) Well, she's all you'd ever want" "She's the kind they'd like to flaunt" "And take to dinner" "But she always knows her place" "She's got style, she's got grace" "She's a winner" "(SCOFFS)" "She's a lady" "Whoa, whoa, whoa" "She's a lady" "Talkin' about that little lady" "And the lady is mine" "Well, she's never in the way Always something nice to say" "What a blessing" "Well, to leave her on her own Knowing she's okay alone" "And there's no messing" "Psst, psst." "(BLOWING)" "(BARKING)" "(BARKING)" "Huh?" "What?" "Hurry, it's the signal." "Come on." "She's a lady" "Whoa, whoa, whoa" "She's a lady" "Talkin' about that little lady" "And the..." "(MUSIC STOPS)" "Thank you so much, Waldo." "But..." "Please, take a seat, that was..." "Wait, but I'm..." "Nope, take a seat." "Thank you very much." "That was, uh..." "(KNOCK AT DOOR)" "Unique." "That was very unique." "Hold your horses, I'm coming." "Oh." "Hello." "And what can I do for you two?" "Stymie has to come home." "Our daddy broke two of his legs." "Two of his legs?" "Oh, my." "Mary Ann has to come, too." "Her mama's havin' a baby." "A baby?" "Since when?" "BUCKWHEAT:" "Since this morning." "She found out about it and now she's having it." "And my mama says Spanky and Alfalfa have to come home right away." "Right away?" "Why?" "It's important business." "Oh." "What's the important business?" "Beats me." "That's what Spanky told me to say." "Right, Spank?" "(STUDENTS LAUGH)" "Spanky, Alfalfa, Stymie, Mary Ann, get up here right away." "KID 1:" "They're in trouble." "Something important has come up and you all need to go home right away." "Well, Miss Crabtree, it's been a real great year." "Yeah, have a good summer, Miss Crabtree." "See ya next year." "Don't take any wooden nickels." "Ah." "Beep, beep." "Miss Crabtree, I've got your ice cream cake." "Oh, yes, bring it right in." "(STUDENTS GASP)" "(STUDENTS EXCLAIM IN AWE)" "All right, boys and girls, I have a little surprise." "We're not gonna do any more work today." "Instead, we're gonna have an end-of-the-year party with a great big ice cream cake." "(STUDENTS CHEERING)" "You know, Miss Crabtree, I think our folks can wait a little while." "Yeah!" "My mom's had babies before." "I'm sure she knows what to do." "My daddy isn't goin' anywhere." "He can't." "His legs are broke." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." "You can't keep your families waiting just for a party." "Now run along now and I will see you next fall." "(STUDENTS PROTESTING)" "No, please." "Run along." "See you next fall." "She had them before." "Oh." "You kids don't know what you're missing." "Who wants cake?" "ALL:" "Me!" "Oh, man." "Did you see that cake?" "Not just a cake, an ice cream cake." "Yeah, ice cream and cake." "The two best things in the world all mixed together." "Too many calories, men." "And you all could stand to lose a few pounds anyway." "Mmm." "Man, that cake was good." "You said it, pal." "No time to dwell on the past, men." "Summer vacation has officially begun." "No school, no homework, no getting up early." "We're free." "Come on, time's a-wastin'." "All right!" "(BARKING)" "BUCKWHEAT:" "Whoo-hoo!" "Hi!" "SPANKY:" "Hiya, Pops!" "Hi there." "Hi." "SPANKY:" "Yay!" "Oh!" "Kids!" "(SCOFFS) Watch where you're going." "STYMIE:" "Sorry." "Sorry, Officer Kennedy." "Wait a minute." "Aren't you kids supposed to be in school?" "We got time off for good behavior." "That would be a first." "So who are the flowers for?" "Miss Crabtree?" "ALL:" "Yeah!" "They were." "When are you finally gonna work up the nerve to ask her to marry you?" "I will, I will." "When school's out and the time's right," "I'll be ready." "I got the ring." "Finally paid it off." "ALL:" "Ooh!" "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" "Look, don't touch." "You understand?" "Isn't there supposed to be a diamond on it?" "Oh, there it is." "It looks real nice when you can see it." "Well, good luck, Officer Kennedy." "Thank you." "Try not to blow it." "Come on, guys." "(CHEERING)" "SPANKY:" "To the bakery!" "Hiya, Grandma." "Oh, hi, kids." "Oh, hi!" "ALL:" "Hi, Grandma." "Oh, boy." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Oh, so, isn't there still one more day left at school?" "They never do anything important on the last day." "Except eat ice cream cake." "Okay." "I don't suppose I could interest you in cinnamon muffins." "Yeah!" "GRANDMA:" "Here we go." "STYMIE:" "Me, Grandma!" "I caught it!" "Thanks, Grandma." "You are the best." "ALL:" "Yeah!" "Thanks, Grandma!" "(BARKING)" "I didn't forget you." "Come on, gang." "To the tree house!" "(CHEERING)" "STYMIE:" "See you later, Grandma." "After you, Petey." "(ALFALFA LAUGHS)" "SPANKY:" "Home, sweet home." "ALFALFA:" "Mmm-hmm." "SPANKY:" "Petey, do your stuff." "(WHINES)" "(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)" "(KIDS CHEERING)" "Whoa!" "No!" "No, no, no!" "Kids." "Are they gone, Miss Crabtree?" "Oh, they are indeed, Officer Kennedy." "And now that they are," "I think that we can call each other by our first names," "Ed." "Of course, June." "(CHUCKLES)" "What are those?" "Oh." "Uh..." "They were flowers, till your kids got a hold of them." "Thank you." "It's the thought that counts." "(SNIFFS) Mmm." "I was thinking, maybe you and I could have lunch at this very special place that I happen to know of?" "A date with my man." "Why, I'd love to." "Oh." "ALFALFA: (WARMING UP VOICE) Me, me, me, me, me, me, me." "Me, me, me, me, me." "Me." "Ready, gang?" "Yeah!" "Ready!" "Ready, indeed." "Hi, ladies and gentlemen." "Tonight, we're going to perform an oldie, but a goodie called I Got You, Babe." "My name is Spanky and we are the International Silver String Submarine Band." "Huh?" "PORKY:" "The what?" "That's our band name?" "Since when?" "Since I just thought it up a second ago." "Makes us sound important." "Okay." "I agree." "Okay, I like it." "And a one and a two and a three." "(BARKING)" "(ALL PLAYING TUNELESSLY)" "Hello, Mrs. Larson." "Hi." "You're early today." "Here you go." "On the house, as usual." "What is that noise?" "That's the kids' band." "Oh..." "Well, tell them to keep practicing." "(LAUGHING)" "Oh, and you got a certified letter here from the bank." "Oh." "Sign here." "Here you go." "Thanks." "Thank you!" "You're welcome." "They'll get better." "I hope so." "(GROANS)" "(LAUGHS)" "Oh." "Oh." "Hold it." "Hold it." "Why'd you stop?" "We were just getting to the best part, where I sing." "We're supposed to be playing, I Got You, Babe." "It sounds more like, I Got a Headache, Babe." "What's wrong with everybody?" "We're doing the best we can, Spank." "You know, he's right." "Our music lacks a certain je ne sais quoi." "Like what?" "Like a girl singer." "That would complete our sound." "And I know the perfect girl." "Let me guess, Darla." "SPANKY:" "Not again." "Great minds think alike." "(SPANKY GROANS)" "You've heard her sing in class before." "She's really good." "No girls allowed in the gang." "But Mary Ann's in the gang." "And she's a girl." "I meant a real girl." "I am a real girl." "Okay." "Okay." "You're a real girl." "Kids?" "Kids." "What is it, Grandma?" "Would you all watch the bakery for me?" "Something urgent came up and I've gotta go to the bank." "What's wrong, Grandma?" "Everything's fine." "You just watch the shop and I'll be back soon." "Don't worry, Grandma." "I got everything under control." "No problem." "Hello?" "Anybody here?" "SPANKY:" "Hi!" "Yes, ma'am." "How may we help you?" "Is there somebody else working here today who's a little older?" "Don't be fooled." "We're older than we look." "Why, I'm nearly nine." "And our combined ages equal over 45." "Mmm-hmm." "And if you count, Petey, it's 103 in dog years." "So, what can me and my staff do you for today?" "I need a large birthday cake by 5:00." "Don't worry." "Our expert bakers can have it ready for you in time." "What kind of cake do you want?" "Red velvet." "(GASPS)" "You want a cake made out of velvet?" "Yuck!" "Yes, red velvet." "Okey-dokey." "It'll be ready by 5:00." "5:00 sharp." "Okay." "Thanks!" "5:00?" "But Grandma won't be back in time." "That's why we're going to make it ourselves." "But what do you know about making cakes?" "How hard can it be?" "I've been eating 'em my whole life." "First off, a little vanilla." "And flour." "(CHUCKLES)" "Don't forget the sugar." "More." "More." "Just a little more." "(CHUCKLES)" "Perfect." "Isn't this gonna be a little too sweet?" "No such thing as too sweet when you're talking about cakes." "Don't forget the eggs." "Had to go out to the garage to find it, but I got the oil." "Hey." "As long as it says oil, it'll do the trick." "(WHINES)" "STYMIE:" "What's that?" "SPANKY:" "Yeast." "It's something my mom always puts in cakes." "It makes the cake grow big." "Well, this woman wanted a big cake." "So let's put it all in." "MARY ANN:" "Got the main ingredient." "Our red velvet cakes are made with 100% pure red velvet." "And how!" "(BARKS)" "Mmm-mmm-mmm." "Mmm." "I sure could go for one of those delicious-looking cupcakes." "But Spanky says we can't eat the merchandise." "We're not gonna eat them, we're just gonna test them out to make sure they're still good." "Well, this one's good." "This one, too." "Better test the rest." "Good idea." "This is gonna be some cake." "ALL:" "Yeah." "BANK OFFICER:" "Well, I've reviewed your paperwork, Mrs. Larson, and I'm very sorry, but you owe this bank $10,000, and it is past due." "You must pay it back or we will be forced to take away your bakery." "Oh." "Would you like to try one of my chocolate chip cookies?" "Ooh." "No." "No, I'm trying to watch my calories." "Now, about the loan." "Well, I don't think one would hurt." "I mean, they're from my bakery, and you would just be doing due diligence." "I'm sorry about not paying back the money, but if you could just give me a little bit more time." "Mmm..." "Oh, my gosh." "That's the best chocolate chip cookie I've ever had." "It's got just the right crunchy to chewy ratio." "Ooh, I'm so glad you like them." "This isn't a cookie." "It's nirvana." "It's bliss." "It's a warm puppy." "(GIGGLES)" "It's sleeping late on a summer morning, or walking barefoot on the beach at sunset." "If this cookie were a woman, I would ask it to marry me." "You see?" "With a cookie like this, business is just bound to pick up." "And I'm sure I could pay back the $10,000 in two months." "Would you like another one?" "Yes." "What?" "No." "Look, I'm sorry, Mrs. Larson, but you've already had three extensions." "My hands are tied." "You simply must pay back the $10,000 by the end of the month." "But that's only two weeks away." "Maybe it's time you retired." "Oh." "Yes, sell the bakery." "Do what makes you happy." "I'm happiest when I'm baking." "Well..." "Do you mind?" "They're just so good." "(BELCHES)" "Our work here is done." "What shall we have for dessert?" "Hmm?" "More!" "(BOTH BELCHING)" "I can't wait to see the expression on Grandma's face when she sees how we made a cake on our own." "(RUMBLING)" "I don't like the sound of that." "Me neither." "Is it supposed to be doing that?" "(RUMBLING)" "What was that?" "Sounds like a moose trying to sing." "Maybe it's Alfalfa." "Come on, let's go check it out." "Take cover!" "(WHIMPERS)" "(GASPING)" "(WHIMPERING)" "Kids?" "I think we used a teeny bit too much yeast!" "You think?" "STYMIE:" "What do we do?" "Don't worry." "I'll just take some air out of it." "STYMIE:" "Uh-oh." "(WHINES)" "Kids?" "(EXPLOSION)" "Oh." "Are you all right?" "(UTENSIL CLATTERING)" "Oh, my goodness." "What happened?" "(WHINES) -(DINGS)" "Guess that means the cake's ready." "What a mess you are." "It was a delicious mess." "Oh, good." "What's Waldo doing here?" "Where?" "(GROANS)" "Oh." "Oh, this is sweet." "Oh." "Mrs. Larson?" "Ray Kaye, but my friends call me Big Ray, because I think big." "Well, what can I do for you, Mr. Kaye?" "No, no, no." "It's what can I do for you." "I understand that your property here, its loan is coming due." "And I'm here to offer you a business proposition." "And I'm consulting on the deal." "He's so cute." "I'm gonna offer you $100,000 here and now if you sell it to me." "RASCALS: $100,000!" "That's a lot of money." "Now, that's a..." "That's a lot of cute little people." "You wanna buy my bakery?" "Yes, I do." "Why?" "Progress." "Look, here is your bakery right now." "And as you can see, it's old, it's rundown, it's desperately in need of a face-lift." "And here's my plan." "We're gonna tear it all down and then in its place, this." "Say, what happened to Grandma's bakery?" "RASCALS:" "Yeah!" "Who's that?" "It's you again." "Little short stack." "I'll tell you what happened." "Mixed-use development." "Retail stores, office space, luxury apartments." "All very modern." "A mall?" "Oh, no, no, no." "Not a mall." "A Big Ray's Malltopia." "All glass and steel." "It's gonna kick this sleepy city right in the 21st century." "What, you're just gonna tear down my bakery?" "No, no, no, no, no." "No, I wanna offer you a very fair price, then tear it down." "WALDO:" "What about the tree house, Dad?" "No, don't worry about the tree house, Waldo." "We'll uproot the tree and the tree house, and we'll have it moved right into our backyard." "That's our tree house." "RASCALS:" "Yeah!" "Not after my dad buys it." "Then it will be my tree house." "Members only." "And none of you will be members." "(CHUCKLES) Isn't he cute?" "I'm sorry, Mr. Kaye, but I can't imagine closing this place." "No." "See, my grandparents started this business." "Oh, well, you can sell it to me, or lose it to the bank in two weeks." "Unless, of course, I don't know, you got $10,000 lying around." "No." "Look, you're gonna get a much better deal from me than you will from the bank." "Well, I have two weeks to raise the money." "Until then, I won't sell." "Well, I'm just trying to be the good guy here." "All right." "Have it your way." "Two weeks." "Bye-bye." "Grandma, you owe the bank $10,000?" "Yes." "I know." "When we win the talent show, Grandma, we'll just give you the $10,000." "(CHUCKLES) Oh." "ALFALFA:" "Yeah." "That's first prize." "Did you hear what we sounded like this afternoon?" "We were terrible." "Speak for yourself." "She's right." "We'll never win the talent show." "Sorry, Grandma." "GRANDMA:" "That's okay, kids." "Please excuse me, but I think I'm gonna clean up the kitchen while I still have a kitchen to clean." "What are we gonna do?" "Not only will Grandma lose her bakery, but we're gonna lose our tree house to Waldo." "SPANKY:" "Hold on." "I have a great idea and I'm gonna give it to you in one word." "Jobs." "Whoa, whoa, whoa..." "(BARKING)" "MARY ANN:" "Hey, guys." "OFFICER KENNEDY:" "Thank you!" "Oh, come on!" "Mr. Kaye!" "Here they are, gentlemen." "Your new caddies." "Is this some kind of a joke?" "I'm sorry, but three of my caddies called in sick." "They're all I've got right now." "Haven't I seen you two guys somewhere before?" "Where would you have seen us before?" "Yeah, we travel in different social circles." "I don't know." "They're awful short." "Hey, as long as they can carry a bag, what difference does it make?" "Okay, let's go." "We're late." "Come on, grab the bags." "Now you two do exactly what Mr. Kaye says or you're out of a job." "Understand?" "BOTH:" "Yes, sir." "Oh, Edgar, how did you manage having lunch here?" "You're not even a member of this club." "Let's just say I have a few friends in high places." "Oh, you mean the Chief?" "Yep, that's one." "Ooh, fancy." "(PANTING)" "Man, this working for a living sure is a lot of work." "Yeah, I think I'm more cut out for executive work." "You know, with a corner office." "You said it, pal." "Oh, Ed, this is lovely." "Well, it is a special occasion." "After all, we've been dating for one year, five months, three weeks, four days and nine hours." "But who's counting." "(CHUCKLES)" "Well, every minute of it has been wonderful." "It has, hasn't it?" "(SPANKY AND ALFALFA GIGGLING)" "SPANKY:" "Who does he think he is, a pro?" "ALFALFA:" "I don't know, but he sure is lame." "It's gonna go..." "(WHISTLES)" "That's exactly what it's gonna do." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I'm sorry, it's not gonna work." "Lame." "Maybe you'd like to share with us some of your golfing expertise." "With pleasure." "Watch and learn." "Oh, good." "I can't wait." "Show him how it's done, Spank." "Hmm." "Hmm." "Mmm!" "Ooh." "Mmm." "You're not getting any taller." "Simmer down, hot sauce." "June, there's something that I've been wanting to ask you." "Yes, Edgar?" "SPANKY:" "Fore!" "June, will you..." "(GROANING)" "Ed, are you hurt?" "What in the world is going on here?" "I got hit by a golf ball." "It came from over there." "(GROANS)" "(OFFICER KENNEDY GROWLS)" "Kids." "Those kids!" "Quick, Spank." "Ditch the evidence." "Oh." "(GROANS)" "Fore." "And stay out." "You're fired!" "Ugh!" "MARY ANN:" "What are we going to do now?" "Yeah, we all got fired from our jobs." "Alfalfa and me didn't get fired, we resigned." "Working conditions were terrible." "Mmm-hmm." "Okay, but how are we gonna raise enough money to help Grandma?" "Nobody ever got rich working for somebody else, right?" "Right." "So we're going to start our own business." "Our own business?" "What kind of business?" "Hmm." "Let me think." "(GROWLING)" "What's up, Petey?" "(BARKING)" "Petey just gave me an idea." "GIRL 1:" "Thank you." "SPANKY:" "Thanks." "DARLA:" "Hi, Alfalfa." "Hi, Darla." "Five whole dollars?" "I'm not sure." "That seems like an awful lot of money." "What exactly do you get for five whole dollars?" "The question really is, what don't you get?" "Here at Komplete Pet Kare, our expert staff will provide your pet with the finest services known to man or beast." "For the price of just $5, our deluxe spa package includes pet walking and washing." "But wait, there's more." "Your pet will also be groomed by our patented Groom-O-Lator." "Well, that does seem very nice, but Princess Flufferina means the world to me." "And I've never left her with anyone else before." "She's my prized pet." "You have nothing to worry about, Darla." "She's in good hands." "In fact, people call me the Cat Whisperer." "Hi there, kitty." "(HISSES) -(GASPS)" "Spanky here will escort Princess Flufferina to the spa." "Bye, Alfalfa." "Bye." "Come on, Romeo, time to make some moolah." "How's the grooming going, Mary Ann?" "Yeah?" "Pretty good." "It took a while because he kept trying to hide in his shell, but look at that smile now." "Show them, Cecil." "How are the fish comin'?" "They're on the rinse cycle." "But I need both your help bathing and grooming the other animals." "Alfalfa, fire up the Groom-O-Lator." "Why can't you fire it up?" "'Cause I'm the leader." "I'm supervising." "(SIGHS)" "Ready, Petey?" "Here we go." "Here you go." "SPANKY:" "First stop, the rinse station." "Next stop, the soap-down station." "Then onto the rub-a-dub-dub scrub station." "After that, the dry-o-matic station." "And finally, a little perfume to make them smell sweet." "Fresh and clean." "If this isn't a license to print money, I don't know what is." "I gotta say, I had my doubts at first, but when you're right, you're right." "MARY ANN:" "Hey, Spanky, when you're done signing autographs, we need more soap." "Okay, okay." "The way I figure it, if we can see 50 pets a day, we'll have Grandma's money in no time flat." "Here's another one." "(BIRD SCREECHES)" "Ready for grooming." "Ready for grooming." "Okay, guys, load up the other pets." "We've got a lot of animals to groom." "Gotcha." "(BUBBLING)" "Oh, Ed, this is lovely." "I can't believe that you put this whole thing together on your lunch break." "Well, our last date didn't go so well, and there was something I wanted to ask you before we got interrupted." "Ask me anything, Officer Kennedy." "(CHUCKLES) Okay." "PORKY:" "Let's go to the park, little doggies." "Giddy up." "Whoa." "Whoa, whoa!" "Slow down!" "Well, Miss Crabtree." "I mean, June..." "PORKY:" "Officer Kennedy." "MISS CRABTREE:" "Oh." "Hi, Miss Crabtree!" "Hi, Officer Kennedy!" "PORKY:" "Are you guys having a picnic?" "BUCKWHEAT:" "Yeah, a picnic." "(GRUNTS)" "Here you go, little guy." "Hold still!" "(SQUEALING)" "(CAT HISSING)" "Spanky, maybe you should handle Princess Flufferina?" "(GROANS)" "It's just a cat, not a mountain lion." "All I know is, when Darla sees how well I took care of her cat, she's gonna find me irresponsible." "Don't you mean irresistible?" "(SQUAWKS) Irresistible." "Irresistible." "Yeah, that, too." "(MEOWS)" "Oh, no." "Guys, look." "(GASPING)" "The machine is turning them all green." "Remarkable." "What did you do, Mary Ann?" "What do you mean, "What did I do?"" "You're the one that put the soap in." "(GASPS)" "Look!" "It's green dye." "You distracted me, Mary Ann." "Oh, no." "Darla's cat!" "(BUBBLING)" "Wait, come back!" "Watch out!" "Hurry!" "Make it stop." "(MEOWS)" "(MEOWING)" "Mmm." "That chocolate sure looks good." "Oh, would you like one?" "Yeah!" "No, no, no, no." "Those chocolates are expensive." "Oh, there's plenty here." "Here, take some." "Now, are these all your dogs?" "Nah, we're just walking 'em to make money for Grandma." "Aw, that is so nice." "Isn't that nice, Edgar?" "Uh, yeah, that's lovely." "Now I'm sure you have a lot of other dogs to walk," "so take chocolates to go." "Okay?" "Oh." "(BARKING)" "Oh." "Oh..." "(GRUNTS)" "Ooh!" "No, sit!" "Stop, stop." "No!" "Sit, doggie." "No." "Mush." "No!" "No, no mush!" "No, come on, sit, stop." "No." "No." "(GRUNTS)" "(GASPS) -(GROANS)" "Good thing that lamppost was there to stop him." "Mmm-hmm." "(WINCES)" "Kids." "Come back." "If you don't like green, we can make them any other color you want." "Alfalfa, what happened to you?" "Oh, just been working hard." "I'm here to pick up Princess Flufferina." "Is she ready?" "(HESITATING)" "Sure." "And wait until you see her exciting new look." "What new look?" "Here you go." "One Princess Flufferoni." "(CAT MEOWS)" "(SCREAMING)" "(SIGHS)" "Darla hates me now." "At least we made a little money for Grandma, thanks to my great idea." "No, we actually lost money." "Yeah, all the pet owners wanted their money back." "Did I mention Darla hates me now?" "Don't worry, I'll think of something else." "What?" "Yeah, what?" "I'm thinking." "Anything yet?" "No." "Now?" "How about now?" "Anything yet?" "Not yet." "Now?" "How about now?" "Don't rush me." "Genius takes time." "ALL:" "Grandma!" "GRANDMA:" "Hi, kids, I got some good news." "I sold off some old stock, and I was able to raise $5,000." "(ALL GASP)" "That's great, Grandma." "You're almost halfway there." "And if I can drum up enough business, I think I can get the rest." "But I need your help." "Sure, Grandma, no problem." "Would you mind handing out these flyers all over town?" "Sure." "You bet!" "Yay!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "(HORN HONKING)" "(SPANKY GROANS)" "Guys?" "What are they doing here?" "Hey." "What do you think you're doing?" "Which color do you think would look better for the tree house?" "Caribbean green or Georgia peach?" "It's fine just the way it is." "Desiree doesn't think so." "Do you, Desiree?" "Desiree?" "My decorator." "This dump is gonna need a total makeover when my father moves it to our back yard." "So, how do you even get in here?" "I wouldn't do that." "The burglar alarm is set." "A burglar alarm?" "On this dump?" "Get real." "(LAUGHING)" "I told you." "Yeah, he told you." "PORKY:" "That's hilarious." "I really don't like him." "Me neither." "Me three-ther." "No time to waste, men." "We're gonna distribute these flyers." "And then I'm gonna come up with another great plan to make money for Grandma." "Now, let's go." "Come on!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "I call on you, my friend A helping hand you lend" "In my time of need" "Whenever I'm down" "I call on you, my friend I call on you, my friend" "I call on you, my friend" "Whenever I'm down" "I call on you, my friend A helping hand you lend" "In my time of need" "Whenever I'm down" "I call on you, my friend I call on you, my friend" "Whenever I'm down" "And all that's going on" "Is really going on" "Just one of those days in joy" "You say the right things To keep me moving on" "To keep my going strong Going strong, going strong" "Hey, Alfalfa!" "Hi, Darla!" "(SCREAMING)" "(CAT SCREECHING)" "(ALFALFA GROANS) -(GASPS)" "Are you all right?" "I've died and gone to heaven." "Actually, this is Maple Street." "Let me help you up." "You have a nice voice." "Thanks." "You have a nice voice, too." "Why, thank you, Alfalfa." "I'm really sorry about your cat." "I hope you're not still mad." "It's all right." "When my friends saw Princess Flufferina, they got jealous." "So now they all want green cats, too." "Hey, are you going to the library?" "Yeah." "I love books about cats." "See?" "Cats and You, Illustrated History of Cats," "Heroic Cats, Great Cats of the Civil War." "Can I give you a ride to the library on my bike?" "Yeah." "That would be very nice of you." "Hey, the gang and I, we have a band, the International Silver String Submarine Band." "I.S.S.S.B. for short." "Oh." "And I was wondering if you'd like to sing with us in the talent show next week." "I'd love to, Alfalfa, but I already agreed to be in the talent show with Waldo." "Waldo?" "WALDO:" "Hi, Darla." "(GASPS)" "Look at what my dad just bought me." "Waldo!" "It's beautiful!" "Isn't it?" "Want to go for a ride?" "Do I?" "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." "But I thought we were going to the library." "That's okay, I'll take her." "I'd offer you a ride, too, but clearly there's not enough room for three." "Sorry." "Bye, Alfalfa." "(AIR HISSING)" "(SIGHS)" "(PLAYING DISCORDANT MUSIC)" "Hold it!" "Hold it." "And what happened to our lead singer?" "Darla and I could have made such beautiful music together." "What does she see in Waldo and that car of his?" "Forget about her." "We need to rehearse for the talent show." "But you don't know how hard it is to get a girlfriend when you don't have wheels." "Hmm." "Mmm-hmm." "Wheels?" "Wheels!" "I've got it." "I have my next great idea." "What do you have in mind?" "PORKY:" "Yeah." "Not only will we make money for Grandma, but you can impress Darla." "(KLAXON HONKING)" "Hey, Darla." "Like a ride to the library?" "Alfalfa?" "Where did you get that?" "Me and the gang made it." "It's our new taxi cab service." "What does it even run on?" "ALFALFA:" "Petey power." "And it gets 3 miles to the bone." "So would you like a ride to the library?" "It's for a good cause, to save Grandma's bakery." "Okay, I'd love a ride." "(HORN HONKING) -(TIRES SCREECHING)" "Hey!" "I'm supposed to drive Darla." "Sorry, Waldo, but Alfalfa already offered to take me." "I'd offer you a ride, Waldo, but, clearly, there's not enough room." "Let's roll, Stymie." "See ya." "(MEOWS) -(BARKING)" "(HORN TOOTING)" "(HORN TOOTING)" "Home base calling dispatch." "Home base calling dispatch." "Come in." "Dispatch here." "What's up, Spank?" "Tickets are selling like hotcakes." "When are you guys coming back to pick up the next batch of passengers?" "Be back in an jiff." "Got one more stop to make at Walnut, then one more at the library." "Great." "Over and out." "Over and out." "Step right up, folks." "One dollar for the ride of your life." "DARLA:" "This taxi's great, Alfalfa." "I love it." "Oh, no." "It's Butch and Worm." "DARLA:" "Uh-oh." "(GASPS)" "Well, well, well." "Nice set of wheels you got here." "Yeah, nice." "BUTCH:" "Fancy running into you on our street." "How's about giving me and Worm a ride?" "Huh?" "Okay, Butch." "That'll be one dollar." "I was thinking more like you pay me." "(GULPS)" "How much you got on you?" "(GASPS)" "A robbery." "Yes!" "You guys are gonna get it now." "Hey, look." "The cops!" "Where?" "Whoa!" "(LAUGHING)" "Yeah!" "DARLA:" "That was awesome, Alfalfa." "I'm gonna get you guys." "ALFALFA:" "See ya!" "Wouldn't wanna be ya!" "(HONKING)" "See you later, guys!" "Next stop, Walnut Street." "And we have officially arrived." "Thank you for riding with Komplete Taxi, sir." "Tell all your friends." "Next customer?" "Here, here, here, here." "Thank you." "STYMIE:" "Ladies and gents, it'll be a few minutes." "Gotta cool off the engine." "How about a little music, Darla?" "Sure." "Okay." "(KAZOO PLAYING)" "STYMIE:" "Okay, Petey." "This ought to wet your whistle." "Alfalfa?" "Do you suppose you could change the station?" "Of course, no problem." "(SIGHS)" "Can't it play anything else?" "Sure." "(SINGING) With a moo moo here And a moo moo there" "Here a moo, there a moo Everywhere a moo moo" "Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O" "Can't you play anything else?" "It's the only song I know." "We'll just have to enjoy the silence for a while." "Okay, everybody." "All set to go." "(GROWLS) -(MEOWING)" "(PETEY BARKING)" "ALFALFA:" "Next stop, the library." "Have a nice trip." "Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving at our destination in five minutes." "But in the meantime, please allow me to be your tour guide pointing out all the sights of our fair city." "On the left, you will see the home of 11-year-old Freddie Gillespie, the only person to eat 27 Atomic fireballs at once and live to tell the tale." "Alfalfa, aren't we going a little fast?" "Don't worry, we're fine." "This is the express taxi." "Uh..." "And on your right, you will see the very spot where Miss Mugilicutty's rottweiler ate..." "Alfalfa?" "Stymie, I'm conducting a tour here." "It's important." "What's so important that it can't wait?" "No brakes!" "No brakes?" "(SCREAMS) I'm too young and handsome to die." "(ALL SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING)" "ALFALFA:" "Watch out!" "Stymie!" "Do something!" "Like what?" "Like don't crash!" "Slow down!" "Speed up!" "Watch out!" "Get out of the way!" "MAN:" "Whoa!" "Hey!" "Watch the road!" "I can't see!" "Hurry." "Be careful!" "Hurry!" "Watch out!" "(DARLA SCREAMS)" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "Oh, remember this spot?" "It's where we first met." "Aw." "That's right." "You gave me a parking citation." "Oh." "That's right." "I did." "Oh, it's okay, Ed." "It was dismissed in court." "Oh." "(CHUCKLES)" "Yeah, yeah." "Well, I mean, technically..." "I did." "Attention passengers, the taxi is arriving at Gate 1." "Please have your tickets ready to give to the... (SCREAMING)" "Come on, guys!" "Anyway, uh, June." "We've been spending a lot of time together and I've been thinking... (HORNS HONKING)" "Oh." "June." "What's that?" "I don't know." "All right, stay here, I'll handle this." "Oh." "(BLOWS WHISTLE)" "Get out of the way." "STYMIE:" "Watch out!" "MAN:" "Hey, you kids!" "(BLOWING WHISTLE)" "Whoa... (GROANING)" "(GASPS) -(GROANS)" "Is everyone all right?" "(GROANING) What happened?" "(GROANS)" "Are you guys okay?" "I think we need a tow truck." "That was amazing!" "Let's do it again!" "My ring!" "Where's my ring?" "I'm so sorry, Darla." "I don't know what went wrong." "What went wrong was me accepting this ride from you in this death trap." "OFFICER KENNEDY:" "You kids have really done it!" "Do you know how many laws you've broken?" "I have had it with you kids!" "Edgar, calm down." "They're just children." "They're not children." "They're monsters." "Public menaces." "Dangers to society." "They're future criminals." "(TOGETHER) Sorry, Officer Kennedy." "He seems a little mad." "(HORN HONKING)" "(GASPS)" "Darla, I heard the crash." "Are you all right?" "Thank you, Waldo." "I'm fine." "Just a little dizzy." "We were just trying to make money for Grandma's bakery." "I don't wanna hear your excuses." "And if I had my way, I'd lock each one of you up in jail right now and save the world a whole lot of trouble in the future." "You know what, Edgar?" "I don't think you and I should see each other anymore." "What?" "Why not?" "What kind of future do I have with a man who doesn't even like children?" "Goodbye!" "Junebug." "Junebug, I like kids..." "From a distance." "Would you like that ride to the library now?" "With pleasure." "ALFALFA:" "Darla, wait." "(SCOFFS)" "Hope you have insurance, Alfalfa." "(SIGHS)" "(SCOFFS)" "(SIGHS)" "Officer Kennedy, I found this." "I thought you might want it back." "Women." "I don't think I'll ever understand them." "Join the club." "ALFALFA: (SINGING) Well, I don't know" "If all that's true" "'Cause you got me and baby, I got you" "Babe" "Hold it, hold it." "That sounded terrible." "Alfalfa, what's the problem?" "The problem is I don't got the babe." "And I don't got Darla." "I'm too depressed to sing." "Face it, Spank, we're never gonna be ready in time for the talent show." "And we're never gonna make enough money to save Grandma's bakery." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Okay, so we had a little setback with the taxi service." "A little setback?" "We lost money again." "And I lost Darla again." "To Waldo." "Boy, do I hate that guy." "Want another reason to hate him?" "Look." "The brake lever from the taxi cab." "The cables didn't snap, they were cut." "(GASPS)" "And who would want to see us fail more than anyone?" "Waldo." "Exactly." "That's it." "I'm gonna tear him limb from limb." "Boy, Waldo messed with the wrong guy." "And he's gonna be sorry he did." "'Cause I'm a caged tiger." "A hurricane." "And when someone crosses me, they unleash the sledgehammer!" "(GASPS)" "Did I win?" "Alfalfa, you're a genius." "You've given me a great idea." "How we can raise money and help you get Darla back." "Isn't that what you said last time?" "And the time before that?" "ALL:" "Yeah." "This time, it's a sure thing." "Here you are, Darla." "One refreshing jumbo strawberry fizz supreme." "Two straws." "Thank you, Waldo." "It's so nice of you." "Anything for my partner in the talent show." "You and I are going to be unstoppable." "BUCKWHEAT:" "Come see the wrestling match of the century." "PORKY:" "Tell your friends!" "Alfalfa versus the Masked Marvel." "Yeah, you don't want to miss it." "One day only." "Alfalfa's gonna wrestle the Masked Marvel?" "Sounds dangerous." "Sounds ridiculous." "He couldn't wrestle a teddy bear." "I think he's pretty brave to do this." "Something fishy here." "Would you excuse me a moment, Darla?" "Well, of course, Waldo." "BUCKWHEAT:" "Alfalfa is gonna beat the Masked Marvel." "PORKY:" "Yeah, tell your friends." "Excuse me, my good man." "You don't happen to know who this Masked Marvel is, do you?" "Yeah." "But it's a secret." "Yeah, a big secret." "Spanky told us we're not supposed to tell." "I don't believe it." "Spanky would never tell you who the Masked Marvel is." "You're too little." "We're not too little." "We know." "Yeah, we know exactly who it is." "My friend," "Abraham Lincoln here, says you don't." "I bet you $5 you don't know who the Masked Marvel is." "Yeah?" "Well, guess what." "I'm going to be the Masked Marvel." "Yeah, Porky's gonna be the Masked Marvel." "Now pay up." "Well, you guys sure showed me." "Here, don't spend it all on gum balls." "Yes!" "Yeah!" "Gentlemen." "Who you callin' a gentleman?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "I'm here to make you a proposition." "Yeah?" "What kind of proposition?" "Yeah?" "What kind of proposition?" "The best kind." "A profitable one." "Give me that." "Oh, there's more where that came from." "Follow me, there's a secret entrance." "Hurry, I hope it hasn't started yet." "I don't wanna miss it." "Me neither." "WALDO:" "Two tickets, please." "DARLA:" "Thanks for inviting me, Waldo." "Normally, I abhor violence, but this seemed too good to miss." "Enjoy the match." "Next!" "Popcorn!" "Get your popcorn!" "Can't enjoy a wrestling match without a big old bag of popcorn." "Thank you." "Popcorn!" "Get your popcorn!" "Welcome to the match." "Welcome." "Psst." "Spank." "How we doing so far?" "Great." "We got a full house." "Boy, are we gonna clean up." "I'll take that." "(WORM LAUGHS)" "KID:" "I paid good money for that." "I just hope Alfalfa doesn't hurt the Masked Marvel too badly." "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that." "(GASPS) Hey, this area is for wrestlers only." "There's been a change of plan." "Yeah." "(YELPS)" "Hello, Spanky." "Waldo?" "I didn't think of you as the wrestling type." "I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see the Masked Marvel wipe the floor with Alfalfa." "Oh, yeah?" "You're gonna be disappointed, Waldo." "There's no way Alfalfa's going to lose." "Oh, really?" "Care to make it interesting?" "What do you mean?" "I'll bet you all the money you've made from collecting admissions that Alfalfa is going to lose." "You're on, Waldo." "It's a bet." "(SPITS)" "Sucker." "Showtime, Porky." "Wow, Porky." "The costume looks great on you." "You even look taller." "Oh, and remember, when I give you the high sign, that's your cue to take a dive." "Got it?" "(BOTH SIGH)" "Ladies and gentlemen." "Welcome to the world championship wrestling match of all time." "(CROWD CHEERING)" "(BARKS)" "Are you ready to wrestle?" "(CHEERING)" "In this corner, the most dangerous man in wrestling." "Let's hear it for the undefeated "Wildcat" Alfalfa." "(CHEERING)" "CROWD:" "Alfalfa!" "Alfalfa!" "How is he undefeated if he's never wrestled before?" "That's why he's undefeated." "Ah..." "In this corner, his opponent, the most feared man in wrestling." "The man, the myth, the legend, the Masked Marvel!" "(CROWD BOOING)" "Whoo!" "Go, Masked Marvel!" "(CHEERING) -(BOOING)" "Okay, men, bring it in." "Shake hands." "Men, I wanna see a fair fight." "Good luck and may the best man win." "And remember, Porky, make it look real." "(CHEERING)" "And, fight." "CROWD: (CHANTING) Yeah!" "Alfalfa!" "Ooh, yeah!" "(CHANTING)" "(YELLING)" "Oh." "Ooh. (LAUGHS) -(GROANS)" "Are you okay?" "He knows he's supposed to lose, right?" "Yeah." "He's just makin' it look good." "Now get back in there, champ." "CROWD:" "Go, Alfalfa!" "Go, Masked Marvel." "Okay, Masked Marvel." "Get ready for my signature move, the pulverizer." "It puts the "ow" in pow!" "(CROWD GASPING)" "(BELL RINGS)" "CROWD:" "Alfalfa!" "Alfalfa!" "Alfalfa!" "Alfalfa!" "(MUFFLED GRUNTING)" "(POUNDING)" "Holy guacamole." "What happened?" "(MUFFLED CRIES)" "Hmm?" "(CROWD CHEERING)" "(WHINES)" "And, fight." "CROWD: (CHANTING) Alfalfa!" "Alfalfa!" "(YELLING)" "Yes!" "Whoa!" "Porky." "Don't you see he's giving you the high sign?" "Oh, I can't watch!" "I can." "You're supposed to make it look real." "Not that real!" "I don't remember this as part of the plan." "Me neither." "Spanky!" "Spanky!" "Spanky!" "(GASPS)" "Psst." "(GROANS)" "(SOFTLY) Alfalfa." "(GASPS)" "If Porky's there, then who's... (GASPS)" "Butch." "Butch!" "(GASPS)" "(GROWLS)" "(GIGGLES NERVOUSLY)" "Run, Alfalfa, run!" "Run for your life!" "(GROANS)" "Ooh!" "What are you doing?" "(SCREAMING)" "Ooh!" "Oh, no." "Yeah!" "And the winner is Butch!" "(GROANS)" "This isn't fair." "You cheated by putting Butch in the match." "And you cheated by rigging the match with Porky." "I just cheated better." "But don't worry, it's going to a good cause." "I'm going to use the money to put a security system in the tree house, so I can keep you all out for good." "Come on, Darla." "DARLA:" "Sorry, Alfalfa." "You lost all our money, Spank?" "How come you didn't ask us before you did that?" "BOTH:" "Yeah!" "Because I'm the leader and I had to make a split-second, executive decision." "I almost got killed for nothing." "Okay, so I made a bad call." "But don't worry." "I'll come up with one of my great ideas any second now." "Every time you come up with one of your great ideas, something bad happens." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Well, someone has to do the thinking around here." "You guys would be helpless without me." "Right, Alfalfa?" "Alfalfa?" "They're right, Spank." "We're all supposed to act as a team, but you never act that way." "Ever." "And now, thanks to you, it's too late to save Grandma's bakery." "It's over." "We lost." "Come on, guys." "Hey." "Where are you going?" "Come back." "We still have a little time left." "Porky?" "Buckwheat?" "You're too bossy, Spanky." "Yeah, too bossy." "(SIGHS)" "Petey?" "(WHINES)" "(SIGHS)" "Oh, Spanky!" "(LAUGHS)" "Want a muffin?" "It's hot." "No, thanks, Grandma." "I'm not really hungry." "A Rascal doesn't want a muffin?" "I've never heard of that before." "Never get tired of this." "Oh..." "I'm gonna miss this old bakery." "I'm really sorry, Grandma." "Been trying so hard to make money to save it." "Spanky, I do appreciate all of you trying to help me, honey." "But you're losing your bakery." "And we're losing our tree house." "You have your friends." "That's what's important." "Not anymore." "They're all mad at me." "They say I'm bossy." "Well, is that true?" "I'm not bossy." "I just tell people what to do." "(CHUCKLES) That sounds kind of bossy to me." "Well, someone has to give the orders." "Otherwise, nothing would ever get done." "A good leader has to be also a good listener." "'Cause you can't just give orders." "You have to inspire." "What difference does it make now?" "They don't need me anymore." "Oh, they do need you, and you need them." "Let me show you something." "This is pure cocoa powder." "I want you to smell it." "(INHALES)" "Mmm, smells great." "And now, try to taste it." "Yuck." "It tastes bitter." "(LAUGHS) That's because it's cocoa." "And not until it gets mixed in with all those other ingredients does it become a wonderful cupcake." "Okay, but what does this have to do with me and my friends?" "Well, it's because you and your friends are like the ingredients of my cupcakes." "Not until you all come together do you become something wonderful." "(SIGHS)" "Oh, June." "June!" "I was just coming to see you." "We need to talk." "I think we've said everything we need to say, Edgar." "No, then I need to say more." "I can't sleep, I miss you." "Junebug, I miss you." "And I feel terrible" "about the way I acted the other day." "Oh?" "I'm really, really sorry about what I said to the kids." "It's just every time they're around, our dates get ruined, bad things happen to us, every time." "Well, they're just children, Edgar." "They're not trying to make your life miserable." "They don't have to try, they're succeeding." "Oh, if you can't be patient with children, you shouldn't date a school teacher." "I'll be patient." "I'll be patient." "Just give me a chance." "I know I can be the kind of guy you want, the kind of guy that likes kids." "Loves..." "I love kids." "Let me prove it." "You wanna prove it?" "Well, tonight is the kids' talent show." "How would you like to be my date?" "Are those kids gonna be there?" "Yes, Edgar, those kids." "You wanted a chance to prove yourself." "That sounds great." "Good." "I love kids." "Now, are those flowers for me, or are they just there to make you look pretty?" "No, they're for you." "And the balloons." "I like chocolate, too." "Okay, okay." "SERGIO:" "Ready to commence?" "Here we go." "Two, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight." "And here we go, spinning in an orbit like the Mars Rover and spinning out." "Spinning in and dipsy-doodle." "Stop." "Stop." "Stop." "What's wrong?" "It's very nice, Waldo." "But when you make this gesture..." "I want to see a little more, "I'm a pre-teen idol, worship me,"" "and a little less, "I'm your next president, vote for me."" "Gotcha." "Thanks, Sergio." "Now, about you, Darla, when you come out of the double spin," "I want to see a bigger smile, like this." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Ha!" "Bigger." "Bigger." "Bigger!" "That's it." "My cheeks are starting to hurt." "(SIGHS)" "Trust me on this, honey." "I was a smile consultant to presidents, captains of industry, and super models before I became a choreographer and musical director." "Darla, Sergio's the best there is." "Okay." "Now for the finale." "I want you both to watch me very, very, very, very, very closely." "One, two, three!" "Showgirl, showgirl, showgirl, showgirl." "Huh?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "And the bunny hop!" "Bunny hop!" "Bunny hop!" "Bunny hop!" "And the fishing." "We are fishing." "We are fishing." "(GASPS) The big one got away." "And we go into the La-Z-Boy!" "And then the butterfly." "Ooh!" "(VASE SHATTERS)" "And for the big finish... (GASPS) Ha!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Now, follow me." "Your costumes have arrived from the tailor in Paris." "STYMIE:" "Remember when we carved these?" "It was the day we finished building this place." "Do you ever think we'll have another tree house as good as this one?" "Even if we did, it wouldn't be this one." "What do you want?" "Guys, we gotta go for broke." "We have to do the talent show." "We don't take orders from you anymore." "Yeah." "You said it." "We're tired of being bossed around all the time." "Okay, I admit that lately on some select occasions," "I may have been a little on the bossy side." "Huh?" "(BARKING)" "Okay, okay, I've been a lot on the bossy side." "You happy?" "And I shouldn't have bet that money without asking you all first." "Hmm." "But this is our last chance to save" "Grandma's bakery and our tree house." "You're not the leader anymore." "Well, then who is the leader?" "I guess we're all the leaders now." "It's a democracy." "Yeah, democracy." "SPANKY:" "Fair enough." "So I'd like to propose something to all the leaders of the club." "The grand prize to the talent show is $10,000." "That's more than enough to stop Big Ray and Waldo." "But we've hardly practiced." "And when we have, we've been terrible." "Stinky." "What chance do we really have of winning that show?" "None, if we don't try." "(GROWLS)" "You know, this club is like one of Grandma's cupcakes." "You mean bad for our teeth?" "No." "We're like the ingredients." "Separately, we don't taste very good." "Huh?" "But together, we're like an awesome cupcake or something." "All I'm saying is, we're better together than we are apart." "Now who's in?" "Anyone?" "Anyone?" "(SIGHS)" "(HEAVES)" "All right, guys, the International Silver String Submarine Band is playing tonight." "Gather up your instruments." "BOTH:" "Okay!" "For Grandma." "ALL:" "For Grandma!" "ALFALFA:" "Come on, hurry, guys." "ANNOUNCER:" "Hello, Greenhaven!" "Please give a warm welcome for our host with the most," "Mr. Leo McCarey!" "Thank you!" "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the talent show!" "Who let you in here?" "Since it's a talent show, we thought there ought to be some talent in it." "WALDO:" "Come on, Darla." "Good luck, Alfalfa." "You, too, Darla." "I hope you win." "(SHEEPISHLY) Or at least come in second." "(CHEERING)" "All right, then, help me give a warm welcome to our esteemed panel of judges who will be deciding which act is going to take home the $10,000 grand prize tonight!" "Our first act tonight, an amazing duo of tap dancers." "Please put your hands together for Tap Tenacity." "(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)" "They're really good." "Uh-huh." "Yeah, that was good." "Next on stage, please welcome" "McKible the Magnificent." "MCKIBLE:" "For my first trick..." "No." "...I'll pull a rabbit out of this hat." "Alakazam." "I will now shuffle the deck and magically make your card reappear." "(LAUGHS)" "Um, is that it?" "No." "That one?" "No." "That one?" "No." "Amateurs." "For my grand finale," "I will escape from these solid steel handcuffs in three seconds." "One, two, three." "Ta-da!" "(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)" "Mystical, wasn't it?" "(LAUGHTER)" "Please help me welcome to the stage the new musical stylings" "of Waldo and Darla." "(LAUGHS)" "(WHOOPING)" "Notice how Waldo's name is first." "Mmm-hmm." "(SINGING) I've been a-searching" "All this big wide world" "Now finally I found" "My candy girl" "Candy girl" "I found me a girl" "Candy girl" "She sets my heart awhirl" "Candy girl" "With hugging" "Hugging" "And kissing" "Kissing" "And loving" "We're fishing." "The big one got away." "Mine" "Mine" "Whoa" "And he twirls her around." "They're super good." "Yeah, I'd vote for them." "What?" "Okay, what?" "Candy girl" "She vows eternally" "Candy girl" "Three, two, four." "To hold me" "Hold me" "And love me" "Love me" "Until the end of time" "He's mine" "Mine" "Mine" "Mine" "Whoa" "Candy girl" "Candy girl" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "(GRUNTS)" "Thank you." "Thank you, everyone." "Thank you." "(LAUGHS)" "Number one!" "Bravo!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "That was amazing." "It looks like Waldo and Darla are the act to beat." "Spanky, I don't think we can compete with Waldo and Darla." "Oh, come on." "What do they have that we don't?" "Uh, fancy costumes." "Great choreography." "And a pretty girl singer." "Face it, we don't stand a chance." "Okay, men." "Maybe we don't have all those things." "Maybe Waldo has more money than we do." "Maybe he has more of everything than we do." "But this it." "Let's go in there together, as a team and give it our best." "At least we'll know we tried." "HOST:" "And now, last but certainly not least, our final act." "I'm intrigued by their name when I saw it." "Please welcome the one and only" "International Silver String Submarine Band." "(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)" "Hi, everybody." "Tonight, we're going to perform I Got You, Babe." "It's an oldie, but a goodie." "And we'd like to dedicate it to a very special lady who's here tonight." "Ready, gang?" "RASCALS:" "Ready." "And a one and a two and a... (PLAYING TUNELESSLY)" "(YAWNING)" "(SINGING) They say we're young And we don't know" "We won't find out until we grow" "Well, I don't know if all that's true" "'Cause you got me and baby, I got you" "Babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got flowers In the spring" "I got you" "To wear my ring" "And when I'm sad" "You're a clown" "And if I get scared" "You're always around" "Don't let them say your hair's too long -(CHEERING)" "'Cause I don't care With you I can't go wrong" "Excuse me a second." "I have to handle something." "Okay." "Then put your little hand in mine" "There ain't no hill Or mountain we can't climb" "(GASPS) Waldo?" "What are you doing?" "Setting off the fire alarm." "Those Silver String Slimeballs can't win if they can't finish their act." "But that would be cheating." "That would be winning." "You want to win, don't you?" "It's not winning if you don't win fairly, Waldo." "I just can't believe you would do something this sleazy." "Like my dad always says," ""It's not how you play the game, it's winning that counts."" "Oh, no, you're not, Waldo." "Huh?" "(GRUNTS)" "What kind of girl are you?" "The kind who doesn't like cheaters and who has a brown belt in karate." "(SCOFFS)" "Doesn't matter." "They'll never win anyways." "When I'm sad" "You're a clown" "And if I get scared" "You're always around" "Don't let them say your hair's too long" "'Cause I don't care" "With you I can't go wrong" "Then put your little hand in mine" "There ain't no hill Or mountain we can't climb" "Aw... (TOGETHER) Babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you to hold my hand" "I got you to understand" "I got you to walk with me" "I got you to talk with me" "I got you" "Babe" "Everybody!" "(CHEERING)" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "I got you, babe" "(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)" "Oh." "Looks like the judges have made their decision." "(DRUM ROLLS)" "And the winner is the International Silver String Submarine Band!" "(GASPS)" "(SOBBING)" "(SCREAMS)" "(CHEERING)" "(BARKS)" "Bravo!" "SPANKY:" "Grandma." "Oh, you, kids." "Thank you so much." "How are we gonna fit this check in the ATM machine?" "(LAUGHTER)" "I don't know!" "Hey, Alfalfa." "You were great tonight." "Thanks." "So were you." "But what about Waldo?" "He just became a solo act." "And I'm looking for a new band to sing in." "Any ideas?" "Well, Mrs. Larson, I hope you're proud of yourself." "Not at all." "I'm just so proud of my Little Rascals." "Well, what about the tree house, Dad?" "I'll build you another new tree house from the ground up." "But I want that tree house." "Look, I've got a great architect." "I want..." "They don't deserve it!" "I do!" "You know." "I want!" "I want!" "I want it!" "I'll take care of it, all right?" "Congratulations, kids." "You were great." "You really were." "I'm even thinking you could perform at the policemen's Fourth of July picnic next month." "(CHEERING JOYOUSLY)" "SPANKY:" "That would be awesome." "Or we could perform at your wedding instead?" "Uh, my wedding?" "No." "Alfalfa." "Yeah, hasn't he asked you to marry him yet?" "He showed us the ring and everything." "(BARKING)" "Uh... (STUTTERS)" "He certainly has, and I just told him..." ""Yes."" "You have?" "(LAUGHS)" "(LAUGHS)" "She has." "Yes?" "Aw." "(RASCALS GROANING)" "(GAGS)" "Hi, Grandma." "Well, you're just in time." "Who wants muffins?" "ALL:" "Me!" "Get in line." "Ready?" "Okay." "I caught it." "ALL:" "Thank you, Grandma!" "(BARKING)" "Here we go." "Come on, gang." "Wow!" "Home, sweet home." "RASCALS:" "And how!" "And how." "(BARKS)" "BIG RAY:" "Keep your eyes closed." "Ready?" "(LAUGHING)" "Wow." "Yes, it is "wow." It's got all the amenities." "Central air and heat, Italian marble floors, granite countertops." "It's amazing, Dad." "Yes, it is." "Here, you do the honors." "I christen thee "Club Waldo."" "Members only, no riffraff." "Well, built to last." "Didn't see that coming." "I think I still have the receipt."