"Previously on Web Therapy..." "That investigation has really heated up." "They're really after me." "And I think Ben's behind it." "Oh, don't be ridiculous." "It was all shredded and" " In my--in my diary?" " Mm-hmm." "You have my diary?" ""And here's my plan to get rid of 'F.'"" "Oh, so you're working for Mexican drug lords it sounds like." "No, these people are Russian." " Say "Giacomo's."" " What's happening?" " Say "Giacomo's."" " Giacomo's." "Giacomo's?" "Giacomo's!" "Ah!" "[Jazz music]" "Hello." "Uh, I have to" "Hello." "I really have to talk really fast because the-- this might be our last conversation." " Uh, the FBI broke in today." " Yes." "When--and" "I was with you on the Skype and gave you the code word." "You were absolutely right." "You were right, Fiona." "They were with the Russian mob." " Yes." " And they kill people." "And now..." "[Sighs] we're being-- we're in the Witness Protection." "So you're going to testify, hand over all of the books." "They--somehow they knew that I have records." "Yes, I told them that you had records." "You told them?" "The FBI, yes, so that you could get some protection." "I knew that they were the Russian mob." "I knew you were in a dangerous-- very dangerous situation, Richard." "So I called in the cavalry for you." " Thank you, Fiona." " You're welcome." " I, uh" " Is Robin going in with you?" "Well, of course." "Of course." "And the baby." "And so we're gonna be going someplace that we're not supposed to say." "Okay." "So don't say it." "Well... it rhymes with Fontana." "Okay." " But starts with an "M."" " Got it." "All right, yeah, you don't need to say it." "Yes." "No, I understand." "[Whispering] I'm going to Montana." "Well, I'm glad it all worked out." "I can't thank you enough." "Oh, you have." "As long as you're safe." "You--I know why you did this." "I'm not a bad person after all." "I know you, and I know that you still care." " Okay." " I" "I--I love you." "Aww." "Love ya too." "Richard, those goons downstairs won't let me take my phone." "Come here so I can hide it down your pants." "[Gasps] Who are you talking to?" " Oh." " Fiona saved us." " You." " She's the one" " Saved us?" " Yeah." " Are you kidding me?" " You're welcome, Robin." "I wasn't gonna thank you other than thank you for fucking us." " What?" " Are you kidding me?" " Why would you sah" " You know, you got a nerve." "No, she's saving her and Austin is what she's saving." "Austin?" "You actually believe this is about her saving" "Of course." "No, no, no, no, no--she knew." "No, she didn't want me to expose Austin, which is why she set this up." "And now we're going into the witness fuckin' protection program." "Of course I didn't want you to expose Austin." "In Timbuktu." " The chief supreme villain..." " Wow!" "To get away with her evil deed." "I don't like the tone that you're talking to her" " Okay." " You should be grateful." " I'm not grateful, 'cause she" " And you're being very mean." "And this is the way you've been lately, and I don't like it." "She didn't do anything other than protect herself." " You're ruining my career." " What career?" "Don't make me rethink who I go into..." "They're not even letting me take my phone." " Custody with." " Will you hide this phone?" "You can't keep anything of yours?" "You can't take a phone." "They make it very clear." "You're dealing with the Russian mafia, you idiot." "All right, I--let's go." "I gotta get a manicure" " on the way out of town." " Well, go." "You cannot take that phone." " [Laughing]" " They gave us a list." "Enjoy the rest of your life, Richard." " I'm coming!" " Let's go!" "I am coming!" "I will get there in a second!" "That's right, you tell her." "I'm going to be stuck in a cabin with her." " Let's go!" " Ahh!" "[Whispering] She is out of control." "She's very loud." "I'm very grateful." "I'm sorry for her behavior." "That's all right." "Just remember, people have accidents out in the woods." " I understand what this" " Richard!" "Oh." " Hello!" " Hi!" " Hi." " Oh, hello, hello, hello!" " Hello." "Hi there." " How are you?" "Oh, there you both are." "It's nice to meet you, Blair and Augie." " Augie, yeah, hi." " Yes." " Hi." " I'm Dr. Fiona Wallice." " Hi, doctor." " Hello." "What can I do for you today?" "Well, uh, my girlfriend and I" " Blair." "Hi, B." " Hi, babe." "Uh, we have been in a long-distance relationship for, uh, two years now?" " I think it's two yeah." " Two years." "Oh, my God." " Wow." " Two deuces." "Best years of my life." "Uh, and we-- we're, you know, um, wondering if, uh, you know, meeting would be a good idea." " Wait, did" " It's a great idea." " It just" " Well, yeah, we're beyond that." "We plan to meet next week." "You've not met before?" " No." " Well, sure." " I mean, not in person." " Yes." "We have--I mean, well, you know, we're meet--here we are." "There you are." "We've met you." " Right." "Yes." " Wait, wait, wait." "So your relationship wholly exists online," " and that's exclusively." " Yes." "You've not been in the same room?" " Oh, sure." "No." " No." "No, no, no." "No, no." "Well, I mean, she's in my room now, just like I'm in her room and you're in our room." "Oh, I get-- for your generation, it's a different reality, I suppose." "Yeah, I mean, so many couples meet online, you know, these days." "And we just--I mean, we spend so much time together." "You know, we basically do everything together." "I mean, we order meals at the same time, you know." "That's always fun." "Meal time is fun." "Oh, isn't it?" "Wait, may I ask how you heard of me?" "We heard about you on a Groupon, and it was either-- you know, it was a pretty good deal, actually." " What?" " Really nice price." " Thank you." " I'm not on Group" "I'm on Groupon?" " It was six sessions..." " Six." " For $10." " What?" " $10, yeah." " But that's outrageous." " Was it 10?" " Yeah, it was 10 for both of us, so that seems fair." "But that wasn't my intention." "Jerome did that." "That's stupid." "Jerome is my assistant." " Well, good on Jerome." " Yeah, exactly, babe!" " That's sweet." " Thanks to-- well, thanks to Jerome, we're here." "I mean, it was either you or the discount skydiving." "And, you know, that was just way out of my" "I'd have to leave the house for that." "Plus, and then we'd have to be together." "And, you know, we kind of wanted to do it the right way." "So we, you know-- we wanted to talk to you first." "It's just hard for me because I've had difficulty with people just actually being there." " And I don't know." " It's okay, babe, it's okay." "This is so much easier when you have someone that you can really get down to what's important, which is, you know, what's in their mind" " Connecting!" " Connecting, you know?" "Sort of an emotional and intellectual intimacy..." " Yes!" " Before you have the physical intimacy, which can cloud." "And we've just had, you know, an emotional and intellectual connection for a long time." " Right." " I would say it was months before we actually got physical, right?" "Oh, you--physical." "So you... sort of performed..." "things for each other." "Well, yes." "It's, uh-- we do tend to go to an intimate place." " Mm-hmm." " Um, occasionally, we've shared some pretty vulnerable moments." "I didn't know we were gonna launch into this..." " That's interesting." " Part of the talk right away." "But it's not--we can't, you know, really call it sex, though, because sex is actually when bodies are touching, is it not?" "Well, I mean, that's-- that's all relative." "I mean, it's pretty-- it's--it's sex." "It's sex." "It's a lot of sex." "But we keep it really safe, and we keep it" " Oh, really safe." " Yeah." "Well, how could it not be safe?" "You're not even in the same room." "Well, for me, you know, I have, you know," "I put saran wrap over the keyboard." "And I always make sure that we use encrypted sites and codes so that nobody can tap into our intimate moments." " Totally safe." " Yeah." "Oh, that's what safe sex is to you." "Absolutely." "Okay, I'm of a different generation when we actually, you know, died from disease or got pregnant." " I've read about that." " Yeah." "I'm just trying to get my bearings, you know, to understand the parameters of this... uh, relationship?" "You consider yourselves to be in a relationship?" "Oh, definitely." "It's on Facebook." " Yes." " What?" "Well, I mean, it's-- I mean, we're as official as you can get." "It's on most social media" "So then how did you meet?" "Well, I run..." "[Clears throat] a blog." "I run several blogs." "Primarily, I run my, um-- my Chalkime blog." "Oh, yeah, can you see it in the background?" "See?" "Oh!" "Particularly, I take an interest in chalkwork and anime." "So that's actually Talkime Chalkime is my main sort of, uh, site." "Isn't that just adorable?" "I mean, he thought of that." "I thought of it." "You're right, it's like-- chalk and talk rhyme, so I figured that's what I wanna talk about." "So it was perfect." "It's--yes." "That is--it's cute." "So, yeah, I mean, he had his chalk following." " And it was substantial." " Oh." "And then we sort of combined his followers with my followers." " I'm a graphic novelist." " Oh!" "One of--my first novel, Teardrops On My Typewriter, it has a weird cult following." "I don't know, it just really picked up sort of on the online world." "And so, yeah, I have a few followers." "It's really not a big deal." "It's a big deal." "She's got like 60,000." " Really?" " Yeah." "Let me just refresh really quick." " That's a lot." " Oh, baby, it's 62 now!" "62." "That's not a surprise to me." "Wow." " Going on 63." " [Laughing]" " Wow." " What's so interesting is that we started writing on each other's blogs." "And then people started realizing that we had this relationship blooming." "And people started posting questions and comments" " about our relationship." " Mm-hmm." "So we figured we would just start our own blog together." "It's called LDL411." "So you can get the 411 on LDL." "What's LDL?" "That's a lipid, right?" " What's it--what do you mean?" " Not close." "Uh, long..." "distance..." " Lovers." " Long-distance lovers." "Oh, LDL-- long-distance lovers." "Yeah." "It's perfect." "And, you know, I think the site has really become sort of a respite for people that are in a situation like ours." " And it's so common now." " It is." "Everyone, you know, is in a long-distance relationship." " Yes." "Yes." " For sure." "It's a huge community." "It's beautiful." "I mean, combined, our relationship is-- what are we up to now, babe, like, 80k?" " 98,000." " Wow!" "98,000." " It's getting there." " Yeah." "You know what, I would love to help you in this, because I think it's very important for all of these people who are involved in these fake relationships" "Well, I wouldn't say that it's fake." " Cyber." " Cyber." "A cyber--cybership." "The most important thing is that you are clearly very supportive of each other." "And I'm with you." "I fully support it." "I'm very happy to get on board." " Oh, I'm glad to hear that." " Great." "That's wonderful." "And I can offer also-- you know, I record all of my sessions." "So when I record our sessions, they can be posted on the LDL, you know, 911." " 411!" "But that's okay." " 411." "That's right." "Not an emergency." " Not your generation." " An emergency of love." "Happy to post them so I can have your, you know, site link to my site if any of them need help." "And, you know, for me," "I mean, we're meeting next week for the first time." "So we sort of just thought we'd get one quick session in, you know?" "You're meeting next week already?" " Next week, next week." " Isn't that exciting?" "I mean, an not "already."" "It's been two years, but yes." "And then-- so then it'll be over." "You won't need, uh, counseling." " Oh." " Right?" " Well" " Oh." "Well, let's see, that seems a little soon to me" " to meet next week, I mean" " Really?" "Well, you know, I think there are a lot of things, just from my brief encounter with the two of you, it feels like there are a lot of issues that you have that you might want to" "sort of explore before you meet each other." "This'll take a lot longer than a week!" "[Laughing] I can assure you." " Really?" " Wow." "Okay." "All right, why don't we see each other next time?" "Okay." "And we'll explore this further." "Okay, um, baby, are we still having dinner tonight?" "Uh, yeah." "I call you." "I gotta go poop, but I'll Skype you in five." " Okay, love you." " Bye." "Kisses." " Love you." " Bye!" "[Kissing sounds] Come-you come." "You close--you have to close your laptop." " Go." "Close." " I have to" "I have to shit, so-- - [Laughing]" " I'm gonna close mine." " Okay." " Hi, Fiona." " Hi, Kip." "I can't really talk right now." " It's been kind of a crazy day." " Oh, no!" "Well, I was just calling to check in." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Well, uh, you know," "Ben's in some trouble." "Apparently, the A.U.S.A. got a hold of this journal that had been inadvertently" " Oh." " Ben had kept" " during the campaign." " Uh-huh." "And, uh, it was pieced together," " and, uh, there's some" " Pieced together?" "Yeah, there's some issues in it that need to be addressed." " Oh, it had been shredded?" " Well, yeah." " Oh." " Apparently, he inadvertently, uh, funneled $2 million into an account that had to go to some real estate bills, and, you know, it was an accident." "It was kind of a misunderstanding, and so" "And the journal said, "I funneled money into Fiona's account"?" " It wasn't that specific." " It wasn't?" " Really?" " No, no, I mean, don't-  come on, honey, we gotta go." " Everything's fine." "Look, Ben, I'm just telling Fiona that we're, uh-- we have a busy day ahead of us." "Yes, I was just calling to check in and see how you guys were doing." "Oh, well thank you so much for just checking in and seeing how we're doing." "Well, thank you for keeping journals during a campaign." "Oh, so you knew about that." "I--Kip just told me." "She had to know what's going on." " I wonder, I wonder." " He just told me." "Those--they were all shredded." "Everything was shredded." "I don't know how they could have been put together." "Do you know an army of Iranian children who sew paper together that's been shredded?" " Hmm, no, I don't." " Well, for starters, yes, I keep a journal about everything." "You know why?" "Because feelings are important." "And thoughts and plans and schemes to set up someone's wife to get her out of the picture..." " Writing something" " Are also important." "Writing something down doesn't mean that's what you're really going to do." "Feelings are not facts." "No, but apparently writing it down makes it evidence, which is why you're going... where today?" "Where was it?" "Uh, we are-- we are voluntarily taking a tour of prisons, because I am going to agree to a lesser charge of making bad financial decisions..." " Mm-hmm..." " With money that is not my own." " Oh." " It's really just" " a misunderstanding." " That's all it is." "There was no intention to hurt anybody or do anything wrong." "Oh, sure, all thievery is a misunderstanding." "I was investing money that was going to grow for the campaign." "Investing it where?" "Fiona, it's beautiful." "You'd love this place." "Maybe we could all take a little-- no, I mean, we'll-- you'll see it." " Where is it?" " I'll send some pictures." " It's in Costa Rica." " Uh-huh." "And it--Pupuseria is a purse-making factory, literally, is what it means." "But what it really is is a place to put your precious things." "That's what the idea behind the whole complex is." "Yeah, so we can live there and feel secure, and that we are nurturing each other." "You'll be making purses?" "It's a way for you to make your own dreams come true at this" "It's a creative process." "It's something that we can be creative..." "You don't understand creativity." "Move on to the next step in our lives, because we have big plans, and we're not quite sure what we're gonna do." "So you'll literally have purses coming out of your mouth." " Do you like the bandana?" " Um, hold on." "Let me just call the, um-- the baseball bat wielding gay basher on the other computer on her wonderful, wonderful phrase of purses falling" " Not gay bashing." " Oh?" "All right." " It's not gay bashing." " Does this look gay to you?" " No, it does not." " Yes." "Kip, honestly, I thought," ""Oh, he's trying to say that he's gay,"" "or, "He tried to slit his throat and used a tourniquet."" " Well, that's" " It's only one of two things." "No, no." "There's three things." " What's the third?" " The third things is" ""I'm just a-- I'm just a cowboy."" " Okay, "pardner."" " That's, yeah, right." "Just a cowboy who likes to" "Ben gave it to me this morning." " Mm-hmm." " I like it." "Oh, a keepsake before he's gone forever?" "He's not gone forever, and I can visit him every-- every week." " Day." " Day." "Every day." " I can go every day." " Oh, lucky." "Mm-hmm." "They have a conjugal room." "For you two?" " She doesn't need to know that." " I'm just saying all the things that they have there." "You're gonna wait for him after prison?" "Yes, that's right." "We plan to turn a negative, which is you, into a positive, which is us." "Anyway, I'm going to just do some quick, uh, sit-ups." "Oh, you're looking good?" "Getting into shape for prison?" "I need to be able to take a punch in a line when I'm getting my food, and both my hands are on my tray." "Oh, really?" "From other campaign" "You don't have to get in line at a minimum security." "They bring you food." "They bring it to your cell." " They do?" " Yes." "He looked out for me." "And he's helping make this happen." "We're gonna-- this is gonna be a very brief glitch, and we're gonna get over it, and we're gonna get back on the campaign trail, and, uh, we're gonna meet a lot of friends in the prison" "that can help us." "There are a lot of Republicans in prison." "Campaigning for what?" "The rainbow coalition of what?" "Look, I am not some gay advocate." "I don't believe in it." "It's just something that's happening." "You know, it's just a man-man thing that happened." "Just having a good time together..." " So you know, uh" " With our dicks out." " Hi, Augie." " Hello." "Hi, doc." " Hello." " I'm so excited." " Me too." " I have a few more followers." "And then I also have some sessions booked." "Great, sounds like everything's going great." " Same thing for me." " Oh." "I got, uh, at least-- it was 5,000, 10,000." " I kinda lost track." " Yay, team!" "Yay, team." "Such a difference." "And I think everyone's really responded to your really amazing advice to holding off the--on meeting." "I guess we weren't really ready, you know?" " No." " But it's interesting to read all the comments." "[Ringtone plays]" "Some people are really for it, some people are against it." "Let's--here's Blair." "Let me" " Okay." " Hi, Blair." " Hi." "Hi, B." " Hi." "We were just saying how wonderful all of this is going." "You know, we're making a difference in people's lives, and I think" " Are we?" " It's really great." "I don't know if you read all those comments-- the half of the responses that were really saying," " "You know, I think--"" " Yeah, Augie, I did." "I read all the comments." "It seems like that's all you talk about anymore." " Oh, you don't seem happy." " Well, there's a lot of them." "It's good to get people's input, you know?" "Well, to be honest, I" "I think we're having sort of a tough time." " Oh." " I wouldn't call it tough." "I just think it adds another element to have the doctor" "We've been having some disagreements." "We--okay, yeah." "About what?" "What movies to watch together?" " What online games?" " Wow, that would be nice." "I would love to watch a movie with Augie," " if he was ever around." " I'm busy." "There's been a lot of responses to the site, and I just want to be available to people like us, and guys like me, who are in love with girls like you, and trying to--it's hard to respond to everybody." "I got an away message the other day when I tried to instant message him on Skype." " An away message." " Okay, slow down, slow down." "Like, am I a secretary or something?" "What, did you just want me to say, "Hey, BRB"?" "Just treat you like that?" "Just treat you like one of my" "I want you to BRB other people for me, so that you can LOL with me." " What's BRB?" " "Be right back."" "I can't just BRB you." "I'm not gonna BRB and just GTG." "I'd rather treat you with some respect and leave" " GTG?" " "Gotta go."" ""Gotta go." Thank you." " I should write these down." " Sorry." "Yeah." "It's all right." "No, no, no, keep go-- this is, you know" "And also, doctor, I have to tell you something else." "He stopped following me on Instagram." " What?" " And I know that's crazy, but I just don't understand why you would do that." "I mean, why would you stop following me?" "I mean, what's going on with you?" "I feel like I don't even know you anymore." " What, are you jealous?" " Jealous?" "I mean" "No, not you." "I meant Augie." "I'm sorry, I'm looking at Augie." "Sounds like you're a little jealous of her success, which is common for men with women." "No." "I--no." "They can't deal with successful women." "Baby, that's not true, is it?" "[Stammering] Jealous is a little strong." "But isn't that a statement?" ""I'm not gonna follow you?"" "Yeah, it is." "It is a statement." "This is exactly what I was trying to tell you before." "Yeah, he's removing support." " Doctor, I have a question." " Yes." "Um, Augie, where were you yesterday night when I had julio try to bring you Thai from your favorite place around the corner?" "'Cause he told me you weren't there." "That's for me?" " What?" "No." " It's for Augie." "I was just putting it out there, I'm sorry." "This is all very explainable." "It just gets tough for me sometimes when the bandwidth gets so crowded" " with all the..." " "Bandwidth."" "Responses and videos that people are sending-- yes, the bandwidth." "And my wi-fi is rather shitty." "So I go to the cafe down the street with the free wi-fi so I can respond to people more fast." " Mm-hmm." " Is that new, him going" "That's not what your "Find My iPhone" app said." "That's not what it said--that's not where it said you were." "What is that?" "What is that?" "Find my" " You use that app?" " Of course I use that app." " Augie, you know that." " What is it?" "[Sighs] I can tell where he is by the location of his iPhone." "Oh, you can do that?" "It's called Find" "Yes, and it's fine." "I mean, I trust you." "But I feel like you're not being honest with me." " I'm sorry." " And all of a sudden... you're, like, a big shot, and you're too busy to talk to me anymore." "Well-- [Scoffs]" "You're the one with all the followers that say..." "Oh, you're bringing up the followers." ""You're so amazing," and, you know," ""You should dump that guy." ""What does he know?" "You're-- you have way more exciting things going on."" "That's, like, what, like, 2,000 guys." " Sure." " It's actually 5,632 guys." " I took a poll on the--whatever." " That's a lot." "I'm sorry, but it's just that I-- if we did meet in person, then the past two years of people being interested if we will or if we won't, they'll just go away." " Right." " But, Augie, this is real life." "Okay, real people lose followers." "You know, it happens." "You're gonna have a drop off." "But this is what's real." "I mean, look at us." "We are real, right?" "You know what's real?" "You know what's r-- [flatulence] Did you hear that?" " What?" " Augie." " What happened?" " That's real." "You can't-- if you were in-- if you were with me right now, that'd be terrible." "[Flatulence]" "Oh, so now you're on that side of it." " Now you're" " What happened?" "Now you're gonna be on this side of this whole argument that it's not a good idea for us to meet at all?" "I mean, should we just never meet?" " Should we never Skype again?" " No, I" "Should we never log on to this Skype account ever again and never see each other again?" "No, no, that's not the way to go." "Oh, you're saying just get rid of the blog," " like this never happened." " Yeah." "Let's just get rid of the blog." "We'll just shut it down completely, and then if we feel like we need to talk, you know, we'll just talk ourselves..." " What, on the phone?" " Maybe in a month or something." "No, not on the phone!" "That's crazy!" "I have followers too from that blog." " Okay." " Let's not forget." "I just don't see what that has to do with our relationship, and the fact that we simply can't seem to make this work." "Well, because, you know what?" "Wait, how many-- how many followers do you..." " What?" " Why don't you guys call each other on Skype and talk" " about your followers separately?" " Well, you have more than I do." "It's more than last week, right?" "All right, no, no." "Listen, listen." "This is all getting out of hand, all right?" "I mean the fact is, is that we have a responsibility to other people." "You know, we live where-- where-- let me get this straight." "We're social human beings, all right?" "Social-networking human beings." "We exist within the context of a society." "And right now, your society depends on the two of you having this online relationship." "Yeah, and I think that really makes the rela" "Wait, I'm not done." "And it depends on myself to counsel this kind of very complicated relationship." " It does make sense." " It makes a lot of sense." "I mean, I feel like" "I mean, you're, you know, you're old." "You get this generational thing." "Older than you are." " Old is a part of older." " Der than you are." "So when you, you know, used to write letters at each other, you know, across the ocean to your--to your beloved, it's like, that was..." "No, I'm not from the world war ii era." "That was really romantic, you know?" " I didn't" " Like, when you'd write, you know, by the candle and everything?" "That was really a romantic process." "That is pretty sweet." "And you never got to see each other every day." "Did you not go to school?" "[Overlapping chatter]" "And they would dream about things." "Maybe one day that boat across to see each other." "Baby, you're funny." "You're creative." "Really were with each other." "They would just have limited interaction, and I feel like that's such a big part of our relationship." "How long do you think people live?" "I'm sorry?" "What do you suggest that we do?" "I mean, I feel confused." "I wanna make this better, but I just don't see any way that we can." "You know, it's very difficult." "Blair, you were already very successful and well on your way." " At such young age, too." " At such a young age!" "She's so young." "Well, just think of where she's gonna be by the time she's, you know, well into her whatever you are." "I've already published three graphic novels." "I mean, it's a very stressful existence for me enough." "You know, I wanna just sit in my room and connect with my lover." "Right, and so for Augie, Blair, what you have to understand is that it's very difficult for him to come in to a relationship with a person who has so far surpassed him." " Right." " Right, already." "And he's working his way up to that." " Absolutely." " I'm really trying." "All right." "He's trying." "And that's what he's interested in." "And that's what the 20s are for." "That time in your life when you're ambitious, and you're going for it, and trying to be a success." "And you're referring to the 20s as in the 20,000s follower range," " and then when you get to the" " No, like, like the depression." " Like, uh" " Oh, the '20s." "No, I wasn't alive in the 20s." " I don't understand" " Yeah, like flappers." "Yeah, like, "Hey, how ya doin'?"" " And moonshine." " Yeah, yeah." " What?" " Jazz." "In terms of human being chronological age, you're in your 20s." "That's the time when you have the energy and the ambition, right, to grab onto your dream and make it happen." "All right, you're further along than Augie is." " Very much so." " So that's where you might see him feeling a little bit threatened" " by your success." " I understand completely." "I am a little threatened." "So of course he's going to have to send you a-- you know, a not right-- what is it?" "A BRB or a "Wait awhile, will ya?"" "Because he needs to put you on hold." " "W-A-W-Y"..." " Do you understand?" "He needs that." "So don't take it personally." "Babe, I just-- I just wanna be on your level." "I just wanna look as busy and as productive and industrious as you, you know, when" " Even if you're not." " [Sighs]" "Now, you need-- look at each other." "Don't look at me." "I can't tell if you were looking at me or not anyway." "I'm looking at him." "Now I'm looking at him." "Hold on, I'm moving my window here so I can" "Your window was blocking me this whole time?" "Well, no, I'm just enlarging it." "It was in the way of-- it was Microsoft Word." "Now this is the area we need to get away from." "All right, don't take everything so personally." "Just look at each other, all right?" " Okay." " Okay." "Look at each other." "Look into each other's eyes." "All right, this is where it started, right?" "This is the connection, it's between the two of you." "You need to reconnect." "You two." "It's about the two of you, who love each other, who watch movies together, who play, you know, AOL together, or the--um, the online, you know, World of Witchcraft." "We just need to, like, do a restart." "Restart." "Restart button." " Restart button." " Restart." " Hit the restart." " Let's do a force quit." " Yep, force quit." " And a restart." " Control, option, alt, escape." " But don't really do that, or we'll go away." " Oh, sure," " Right." "God, I feel like" " I did miss you, I mean" " I miss--[Sighs]" "I just miss talking to you like this, and seeing you, and touching you kind of, and rubbing the screen, and" " Yeah, I did miss it." " It's warm." "[Laughs] It is!" "I can pretend it's your body." " Oh, is this how you" " Oh, yeah." " Um, I think we're done." " Yeah, I think we're done." "Uh, if we could get some-- some time." " Just a little time." " Just a little time." "Oh!" "Yes." "Okay, good." "Then I'll see you in our next session--all right." " Okay." " Okay." "Oh, good-bye!" "A place that's obviously cold." "And it rhymes with Montana." " What?" " [Laughs]" "Okay." "A BRB or a "wait awhile, will ya?"" "I just wanna be on your level, baby." " You know?" " [Laughs] I'm sorry." "Go back and-- go back and say that." "[Laughter]" " "A wait awhile, will ya?"" " Gotcha!" "[Laughter] It's so funny." "So of course he's going to send a-- you know, an lo--no." "A BRB, or a "wait awhile--"" "[laughs] I wanna say it." "I wanna have it in there, 'cause that's so lame!"