"This film was adapted from Diderot's novel of the same name." "It does not claim to give an exact portrait of religious institutions... not even those of the XVIIIthe Century." "It is a work of the imagination." "From which no hasty generalization should be made." "1760." "Denis Diderot is 47 years old." "In a few weeks the Encyclopaedist... wrote "La Religieuse"." "In those days convent life was... often only outwardly a true religious life." "For a given sum many aristocratic families... shut their daughters up until marriage." "Widows - spinsters retired to convents." "Convents were bought like stocks and shares." "The benefice system." "Mother Superiors were appointed on account of their nobel birth." "Girls of 20 - or even less... sometimes directed vast convents." "In many of them a life of luxury was the rule." "The religious life lost all meaning... in such a context." "Diderot based his novel on real persons " "Louise of Orleans" " Daughter of the Regent... who became Abbess of Chelles in 1719... is the original of one of the Superiors." "Suzanne the nun - the leading role, was based on Marguerite Delamarre... whose father shut her up... in a convent at age three.." "Having appealed against her forced vows in 1752... she lost and remained till her death... in Longchamp, which is portrayed in Diderot's novel." "But the entire story is a commentary... on the words of Bossuet:" ""Do not enter such a high ceiling... unless you are tired of the world." "Sister leave the cloister"." "Bringing up this daughter would be expensive:" "she is therefore devoted to religion." "She has no vocation:" "compared with the present state of affaires... and necessity that means nothing." "So she is brought bound hand foot to the Temple and sacrificed." "But this is not a sacrifice which glories God" "Louis Bourdaloue." "Marie-Suzanne Simonin, do you promise to tell the truth?" "I promise." "Are you here of your own free will?" "Yes." "Marie-Suzanne Simonin, do you promise unto God chastity, poverty and obedience?" "I do not." "Marie-Suzanne Simonin... do you promise unto God chastity, poverty and obedience?" "No, Monseigneur" "Keep calm and listen." "You ask me if I promise God chastity, poverty, obedience." "I heard you and my reply is No." "Gentlemen, above all my parents..." "I take you to witness:" "I am here under duress." "Up till now I have pretended to obey... so that I could make a public protest." "I have no vocation." "I cannot obey my parents..." "Dear parents, do what you like with me... except make me a nun." "I won't and I shan't." "I am still your child." "Get up, Suzanne." "Get up." "You weep... but you're an ungrateful child." "You know how much money we've lost." "In marrying your sisters, we've ruined ourselves." "Your father is a good lawyer, not a banker." "We cannot afford to marry you." "When you entered the convent, we had more expenses." "Everyone knew you were taking the veil." "Your refusal is a scandal." "Well?" "Have you nothing to say?" "What will you do?" "Follow me." "Father, you've been our confessor for 20 years." "You must talk to her." "I have never tried to convert." "Only you can succeed." "Only God can." "It is not for me to interfere." "Have you found it?" "I'm looking." "Suzanne has been shut up three months." "She knows it's hopeless." "I must finish with it." "Can I see my mother today?" "Can I ask my father to tell her?" "Can I write to them?" "You know you can't" "What is the date?" "May 2nd." "Let's be frank." "I spent all on her." "I can do nothing for the other." "She should consider." "What can I do with her?" "She cannot possibly work." "What liberty would she have?" "Much less than as a nun." "You know what happens to girls without money." " Workhouse...." " Yes, or even prison..." "I just want you to see her." "Good I'll talk to her." "Come, my child." "Don't be afraid to open your heart to me." "Come." "I have nothing to say." "I entered holy orders late in life." "I could understand you." "Mother hates me." "You should be sorry for her, not blame her, she is good..." " but powerless..." " Who is forcing her?" "Didn't she give birth to me?" " Am I different from my sisters?" " Very." "How do you mean?" "Try to take things patiently." "Sit down... and stay calm for a moment." "Come." "No." "No, Father." "I cannot pray anymore" " I have tried..." " My child..." "I was prettier than my sisters... much to my parents distress." "When I was nearly fifteen... a young man courting my sister... found he liked me better." "I told my mother." "Four days later I was put in a convent." "I stayed there two years till my vows." "My parents are said to be good people." "They are like and respected." "Then why with me?" "My daughter, I see I shall have to reveal a secret." "I have tried to persuade you mother to tell you." "But you know how she is." "She hoped to convince you otherwise." "The fact is - you are not Mr. Simonin's daughter." "I suspected it." "Well then, you see she cannot give you the same precedence." " If she can tell your father..." " Who is my father?" "I have not been told." "You sisters have had everything... but your heritage is reduced to nothing." "If you lose your parents, you will have nothing." "You refuse the convent." "You may live to regret it." "I ask for nothing." "I've told you what I have to tell you." "It's up to you to make a decision." "Father..." "Just one question..." " do my sisters know this?" " No." "And they took everything form their sister... as they thought me?" "I would advise you not to count on them..." "They have children:" "A valid excuse for reducing you to beggary." "And charity is cold comfort." "Believe me." "Make it up with your parents..." "Do what your mother wants and become a nun." "You'll have a small income." "You days will agreeable, if not happy..." "My child you are good and kind hearted." "Think of all that." "Your mother will see you now." "Sit down." "Your father is away." "Tell me..." "The priest told you." "You know who you are and what you can expect..." "Well, Suzanne, what have you decided?" "Mother, I know I have nothing... and can claim nothing I understand... but you are my mother, I beg you not to forget..." "I wish I could forget." "Do not go on poisoning my life any longer." "My passion has died down... and conscience rules." "But my real father..." "He died... without remembering you." "The trouble he caused could have killed us..." "God did not will it." "You have nothing and never will." "The little I can, I do in secret." "I've sold my jewels, given up gaming..." "The theatre - finished." "I've given up all luxury." "If you become a nun, as I wish... your benefice will be my saving." "But a few people still come to the house." "Perhaps one of them will marry me." "No question of it." "There's the scandal!" "If I don't find a husband, must I be a nun?" "Do you want to prolong my agony?" "Listen, my daughter... your sisters will be at my deathbed?" "Can you be there?" "How can I say before God... that I have atoned for my sins... with you making trouble and claiming what is not..." "What feeling must I die with?" "I shall have to tell your father... that you are not his daughter." "If all I had to do was beg you... but you have no feelings." "As stubborn as your father." "Leave the room." "We do not want you." "Oh God!" "Give me understanding." "Give me strength." "Madam has promised not to see you." "But you can write to her..." "Mother..." "I ask your to excuse me." "I will do what you wish." "If you want me to become a nun..." "I hope it is God's will too..."" "Suzanne, you recognize this not?" " Yes, sir" " Of your own free will?" "Yes." "You're prepared to do this?" "Yes sir, everything." "Do you prefer any order?" "No." "No, they're all the same to me." "Good enough." "I hesitate to receive a girl with so little vocation." "I believe I'm not the first to say so." "True, Mother... but it was only an outburst which Suzanne has much regretted." "Well, Mother of Novices?" "A scandal is a scandal." "We couldn't tolerate it here." "It won't happen again..." "And in a convent with your reputation Suzanne's talents... can excuse much." "She's musical and has a pretty voice." "and then the endowment is not...." "I leave those matters to Sister..." " 1,000 crowns ..." " ...who has given her opinion." "Sister Sainte-Christine..." "I have no fear of scandal." "It is part of your task to accept rebels... and to teach them how to accept divine law." "This is a difficult child... and as such we should care for her." " I accept your daughter." " Mother." "Not another word, Madam." "Tell your daughter to write to the Superior... and thank her for accepting her." "Here is your daughter." "You have already been a novice." "You know the rules." "Ours are the same, but stricter." "You'll know them soon and won't forget them." "Your mother said you were musical and could sing." "We have a harpsichord." "Let's go to the parlour." "Well, Mademoiselle?" "What must I sing?" "What comes to you." "This then." "Oh, mournful shore" "A ghostly wave" "Daylight more hideous than night" "The awful starlight of the grave" "The awful starlight of the grave" "No, I shall no more see your light." "No..." "No..." "That's perfect." "Suzanne you sing beautifully." "My compliments, Madam." "Farewell, my daughter." "Do not make me suffer." " How are you my child?" " I am resigned, Mother." " Have you no other feeling?" " Honestly, no, Mother." "I know all about you." "I'm sorry for you." "I understand your difficulties." "I share your doubts and... probably suffer more than you." "Let me try to give you courage." "You love God?" " With all my heart." " The rest will come... without you ever noticing it." "Our God is a hidden God." "He comes like a thief... without announcing his presence." "But supposing I am not suitable?" "There are thorns in every path." "We only feel out own." "Let grace have its way." "Abandon your thoughts... even the simplest ones." "Shut your eyes." "Deprive yourself of will." "Let nature die in you." "Agree to see God when it shall please Him." "Come, my child..." "Let us kneel and pray." "Our Father which art in Heaven." "Hallowed be thy name." "Thy Kingdom come." "Thy will be done on Earth - as it is in Heaven." "Give us this day." "Our daily bread." "And forgive us our trespasses... as we forgive those that have trespassed against us." "Lead us not into temptation... but deliver us from evil." "Amen." "But deliver us from evil." "Amen." "Revive thy trust." "Oh my soul... in the presence of God and Christ, thy love..." "Jesus... who became a man for love of thee... who died on the Cross to save thee... and now lives here to heed thee... speak to her... and tell her that... tell her..." "What is it with me?" "It seems that when you come..." "God goes away... and His spirit is silent." "I find myself a poor weak woman..." " afraid to speak." " Perhaps it is a sign, Mother." "Perhaps God makes you dumb..." "The entire community accepts the vows... of our future Sister, Suzanne." ""The Lord is my shepherd..." "I shall not want." "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures." "he leadth me beside still waters." "What is it, Suzanne?" "Have you seen Mother?" "I think she's resting in the garden." "Mother..." " What is it?" " Help me Mother." "I too want to be helped." " Tomorrow, isn't it?" " You know it is." "And you're hesitant." "Worried more than ever?" "I don't know if I'll have the strength." "You will." "I won't tell you all the things... about the dangers of the world." "You know I love you dearly." "They say you are my favorite." "You have always done your duty." " Why fear the future?" " Not with you, Mother." "I don't want to leave you." "My child..." "Your work, your sorrows, your life, they all belong to God." "He alone exists - and loves us." "He guides us and we are in his hands." "Suzanne, the hand of God is on you." "He safeguards you... and leads you: in spite of yourself... to the peace which passeth... all understanding." "Dear child, what is it?" "Let God speak to you Himself, since I am dumb." "The truth is I'm tired." "I asked God not to see this day... but it was not his will." "For the second time you'll be asked... to vow chastity, poverty and obedience." "I'll spend the night in prayer." "You pray too." "Allow me to pray with you." "I allow it from 9 to 11." "Not longer." "Then let me pray alone." "And take a rest." "Go and sleep, Suzanne." "I want you to." " Ave Maria." " Deo Gratias." " Ave Maria." " Deo Gratias." "Ave Maria." ""God, have mercy upon me." "My heart trusts in you"." ""Such were my lamentations to God whose bounty is great."" ""He sent his infinite mercy from Heaven." "He saved me from among the lions... and gave me rest."" "God, if you have left me to punish me, so let it be." "I do not ask you to restore my gift." "but help that child Yourself." "Speak to her God." "Speak to her parents." "And forgive me." "You went to bed early?" "... when you told me to." " Did you sleep?" " Very deeply." "I expected that." "How do you feel?" "Well..." "And you dear Mother?" "I am always anxious about new nuns... but never so anxious as with you." "I would like you to be happy." "So long as you're my friend, I shall." "If it were only that..." "Did you think in bed?" " No." " You did not dream?" "Not at all." "What's happening to you?" "Nothing." "I am abandoning myself... to my destiny." "I no longer have the strength to weep." ""It must be done", my only thought." "But you say nothing." "I came not to talk but to see you." "I must keep silent." "Rest a little longer, so I see you." "Then I will go." "God will do the rest." "What time is it?" "Six o'clock." "They will come to dress you." "I must go..." "I must think alone." "Raise your arm." "Raise your arm." "Turn your head." "Turn your head." "Sister Jeanne." " Ave Maria." " Deo gratias." "You're in the choir, Suzanne?" " Yes." " Choir for today's service." " The choir." " You must get ready." "Sister Saintes-Agnes..." " Have I really made my vows?" " Yes, you are our sister." "Mother..." "Is it true then?" "What do you mean?" "Will you believe me, Mother, if I say..." "Well?" "I have no recollection of yesterday." "I know not what I did or said." " You did and said well." " You believe me?" "That is not the question." "You are Sister Suzanne, that is all." "How did she die?" "She had been with your eldest sister." "Her health was poor." "And she was worried." " She told you nothing more?" " She told me to give you this." " You know my father's name?" " No." "You like your present life?" "Time passes..." "It's already autumn." ""My child, this is not much... the rest of my savings." "Pray for me." "Your birth was my only sin." "Help me expiate it." "Your mother's fate in the next world depends on your conduct in this life." "Farewell, Suzanne." "Ask nothing of your sisters." "Your father is already dead." "Farewell once more." "Burn this letter." "Remain a nun." "The idea you might be alone in the world... would torture my last moments"." "Children, why are you weeping?" "Come here and let me kiss you." "Come." "Jesus." "Inspect these four cells." "Some have destroyed their hair-shirts." "Some are hiding Bibles... confiscate them." " What do you want?" " Cell inspection." " On what authority?" " Orders of the Superior." " Your hair-shirt?" " I burnt it." "Your scourage?" "I've thrown it away and told my sisters to." "On whose authority?" "Mme de Moni said that flagellation.... corrected no sins and were a source of pride." "Mme de Moni is dead." "At least I can mourn her and try to obey her." "Does that prevent you from singing tomorrow?" "I am not on choir duty tomorrow." "From now on I keep strictly to the rules." "You know them?" "Look at this." "Our book of regulations." "I know it by heart." "These are the vows I made." "No others." "Sisters, one of you has sinned gravely... and I must punish her severely." "Sister Sainte-Suzanne... you will kneel during service for a week... you will live on bread and water... remain shut up in your cell... and assist the lay sisters with the menial tasks." "You are forbidden to approach any of your sisters... or to speak to them." "Sister Suzanne, what do you think of Jansenism?" "Nothing." "I know nothing of it." "And Monlinism?" "I know nothing about it... and do not want to hear about it." " You obey the Constitution?" " I obey the Church." " You accept the Bull?" " I accept the Gospel." "But you must have an opinion." "Reply frankly, without fear." "I have no opinions but maintain I am a Christian." "You may go." " What has happened?" " Service is half an hour earlier." "How could I know in my cell?" "You should have know." "You will be punished." ""And the rest of her body was covered with pearls... and precious stones even as far as her shoes." "Take a step in my direction... try to hold me back and you will be too late." "Mother..." "I need paper and ink to write my confession." "Could I have some more?" "I have much to write." "You know, dear Mother." "Thank you, Mother." "Sister Suzanne, follow me." "Here is your cell." "The other is taken." "Undress and put this on." "Sister Suzanne..." "Lying is not one of your faults." "Tell me the truth." "What have you done with the paper?" "I told you, Madam." "It's not possible." "It was a short confession for so much paper." "True enough." " What did you do with it?" " What I told you." "Swear to me by your vows to God that it is true... and I will believe you." "Madam, I cannot swear on such a trifling matter." "I am not allowed to." "You are deceiving me." "You are running a great risk." "What did you do with the paper?" "Madam, I told you." " Where is it?" " I don't know." "What have you done?" "Swear you used it all for your confession." "Madam, concerning such a trifle..." "I cannot swear." "Swear it..." "I shall not swear." " You won't" " No, Madam." "Then you're guilty." " Of what?" " Of everything." "You are capable of anything... you praised Mme de Moni to win her over." "You have disobeyed the laws." "Divided the community, failed in your duty." "You've made me punish you... and those whom you have won over." "I have been indulgent." "I hoped you'd see your errors... and return to the fold." "You have not." "There is something wrong in your mind." "You have schemes." "In the interest of all I must know what." "And I shall know." "Sister Suzanne..." " I want the truth." " Madam, I have told you." "I give you five seconds to decide..." " I want the paper." " I haven't it." "Swear you used it for confession." "I cannot." "Very good." "Say what you wrote." " You're too kind..." " You don't know her." "Madam..." "I have done nothing against God or Man..." " I swear it." " That's not what I want." "She's written to the Archbishop..." " Now Sister Suzanne." " Madam, I'm at the end of all." "I feel I am losing myself." "A moment sooner or later." "Do what you want with me." "Let me kiss it once more..." "Have the bell rung." "Let nobody be seen." "Obey your Superior...." "What do they want of me?" "Sister, there is a God." "Our Mother is too kind." "Only the third day... and it's too late." "Let me be." "I communed with God about you." "He has softened my heart." "Kneel and ask His forgiveness." "Oh God, I ask forgiveness for my sins... as you did for me on the cross." "She thinks she's Jesus!" "That is not all." "Swear you will never speak of all this..." "Nobody will ever know of it..." "I swear to you." "We may never have the chance to talk again." "I've not read your statement but I guess..." "You know so many people." "I don't know anybody." "I don't want to compromise you... and get you into trouble." "What can I do?" "Pass this statement to a lawyer and get a reply." "You want to leave?" "But you would have to see lawyers..." "Yes." " You would need liberty..." " That is true." " What about the persecution?" " I shall be under the protection of the Law." "I shall appear..." "I shall be able to speak and complain." "And if you fail?" "I shall ask to be transferred... or die here." "You suffer first." "Whatever happens..." "They cannot say I have a culpable passion." "I see nobody." "I ask to be free... because I did not sacrifice my liberty voluntarily." "Don't worry." "I'll do what I can." "I know you're my friend." "Ask for God's guidance." "I'll pray for you." "Holy week arrived, and many people attended our Martins." "I sung well enough to have been... loudly applauded had I been... an actress in a theatre." "My dear child..." "Dear Suzanne..." "Allow me, Sister..." "Mother, would you also give me back..." "Your locket?" "Yes, I agree." "Sister Suzanne, a Mr Manouri is asking for you." "He's your lawyer?" "We have leave from Rome." "Shortly, your Superior will be advised that you... protest against your vows and wish to leave... the cloister - to be your own free agent." "But in order to conduct this business..." " I shall have to be able to see you." " We must arrange correspondence." "Another thing:" "Once the legal process starts, you will stay here... abandoned to all the cruelty..." "I have thought of that." "I am used to suffering." "You will encounter opposition from all sides:" "The Law..." "The Convent - your Sisters..." "They've had the family fortune." "Once free, you will be entitled to claim it." " I can offer to waive my claim." " But a waiver made while you are still a nun... would be void once you are free." "Moreover, could they decently accept it?" "To leave a sister without shelter - without mercy." "What would people say?" "And supposing she married and had children?" "They will fight with all their power." "Don't lose courage..." "I'll help you as much as I possibly can." " So you want to leave us?" " Yes, Madam." " You deny your vows?" " Yes, Madam." " Made freely?" " No, Madam." " Your father?" " My father." " Your mother?" " She too." " Who forced you?" " Everyone." "Why did you not protest then?" "I didn't know what I was doing." "I don't remember." " How can you say this?" " It's the truth." "Will people believe it?" "Believe it or not, it's the truth." " Come, Suzanne, let's talk." " As you wish Mother." "You know if one listened to such arguments..." "I was obliged to punish you... but the violation of an oath!" "I violate nothing." "I've sworn nothing." " Has not the wrong been put right?" " It was not that..." " What then?" " The lack of vocation." "And the forced vows." "Why not say so then?" "The first time, I did so." "The second time, I was unconscious..." "It is true you know, Mother." "As a witness..." " would you swear I was in my right mind?" " I would." "Then, Madam, you would commit perjury." "Arousing a useless scandal... as this sort of thing does..." " It's not my fault." " People are spiteful." "They think the worst of you, your morals..." "Let them!" "My heart is pure." " Unbelievable..." " Why, Madam?" "We have not all the same character." "You like the convent life." "I hate it." "You've received God's grace." "I have not." "You would be lost in the outside world." "I am lost here." "I want to escape to the world." "I was misled by Mme de Moni..." "but I'm tired of hypocrisy." "My body is here but not my heart." "I am and always will be a bad nun." "Without regret you cannot give up..." " Christ's vestments." " I can Madam, for I was not free to take them" "I'd like to tear them up..." "Dear God!" "What will our sisters say?" " Then your minds made up?" " I want to leave!" " If it's the convent..." " It's not the convent, it's me, it's religion." "I just want freedom." "You're possessed of the devil." "He is speaking through you." "I hate these clothes." "I don't want to were them any more." "Jesus..." "Madam..." "I am neither mad nor ill." "I'm sorry to be violent... and ask your forgiveness." "But judge by it..." "I want no more lies." "I do what saves others." "I detest and damn myself." "You want to avoid scandal?" "There's a way:" "I don't ask you to open the gates..." " but to see they are not guarded." " You are mad!" "Listen, Madam..." "If my liberty is refused me..." "I shall be so disparate that..." "I shall kill myself." "Kill myself." "Sister, go to the chapel... and ask God to cleanse your spirit." "Examine your conscience." "You need not sing." "Sisters let us ask God's mercy..." "for a nun he has abandoned... who is about to commit sacrilege... shameful in men's eyes." "Sister Suzanne... till further orders you will perform no duties... will not be served... will knell in chapel... will not be spoken to... helped or even approached." "She will not touch what you use." "For her salvation let us recite the Litanies, and then prayers for the dying." "Sister St Joseph..." "Get out." "Go away!" " What do you want?" " I am hungry." "You're not fit to live." "Walk over her - a corpse." "Go away." "Further." "What do you want?" "Madam, neither God nor man has condemned me to die." "Give orders for me to live." "Are you worthy to?" "Only God knows that." "I am only waiting here." "Until my fate is decided." "Very well." "I'll see to it." "They tried to stop me from seeing you." "They didn't know what had happened." "I am a prisoner." "I cannot go out." "I have nothing to eat." "The sisters throw me scraps... strew broken glass on the floor." "They've taken my rosary." "They say that I am mad." "They want to exorcise me." "Speak louder." "I can't hear." "As for you sir, don't believe her lies." "Utter lies all!" "They can't stop me seeing you." "The law is on my side in this..." "Or I hope so." "For the rest" " I'm powerless." "You must be patient." "Your time is finished." "Sorry." " She said what?" " She's possessed." "Sister, don't hurt me." "What did you do?" " Devil." " Satan." "Satan." " Impure" " Satan." "Oh my God!" "Listen to me!" "Come to my aid." "There's no God for you." "Be damned and say so." "Amen to that." " Amen to her." " Amen" "Gentlemen, let's be brief." "An appeal was launched on behalf of Suzanne... against the validity of her vows." "We have discussed this matter and summoned to this hearing..." "Suzanne's witnesses and the convent - the other party." "I would ask both sides to be brief." "Here are two letters - written by her... to her mother saying she wants to be a nun.... and to Mme de Moni, thanking her..." "I lodge a memorandum of exorcism." "We have discussed the matter and are unanimous." "She has renounced God." "She is possessed by the devil." "The detailed accusation are there." "She no longer wears a rosary and she blasphemes." "Three days ago she attacked a novice..." "Judge for yourselves." "I bow to the tribunal." "I am tried of all this convent nonsense...." "We know by experience, that our authority is eluded." "But this is serious." "Moreover, there is the appeal... lodged in the courts." "I don't attach great importance to it, but... we'll go to Longchamp, see the sister... and decide on the exorcism." "Get up." "Kneel and condemn your soul to God." "Madam... before I obey you.... what have you decided about me?" "What must I ask God?" "What grace must I ask for?" "His forgiveness for all your sins." "As at the Last Judgment." "Stand her up." "As she won't commend herself to God..." " you know what to do." " Let me kiss the Cross." "Move on, I tell you." "God have pity on me." "Oh God, forgive me if I have done wrong." "God have mercy upon me!" "Sister Suzanne, stand up." " Untie her." " She's dangerous." "Untie her." "Remove that veil." "Sister Suzanne, do you believe in God?" "I believe." "And in the Holy Church?" " I believe." " Do you renounce..." " What is it?" " Someone pricked me when..." "Silence, wretch!" " Do you renounce Satan and his works?" " Yes, I renounce them." "I renounce them." "I order you to pray aloud." "My God..." "My Savior... who died on the Cross for me..." "I worship you." "Let a drop of your blood fall on me... that I may be purified." "Forgive me God as I forgive my enemies." "Madam..." "Stay there." "Stand, Sister Suzanne." "These are the charges." "Reply to them fearlessly." " Why don't you confess?" " I'm not allowed." "Or approach the Host?" " Not allowed." " Or attend mass?" " They stop me." " You know well..." "Silence, Madam." "Why do you leave your cell at night?" " They give me no water or..." " Why were you bound?" " I don't know." " Why doesn't your cell shut?" " I broke the lock." " Why?" "To be able to go to mass." " So you went to Church?" " Yes, sir." "The entire community will... swear that the door was closed... that they found me there and you told them to walk on me." " It's not true." " Madam, I already told you to be quiet." "Your rosary?" " Taken away." " Prayer book?" " Taken away." " How do you pray?" "By heart but I am forbidden to pray." "Who forbade you?" "Madam." "Did you forbid her to pray, yes or no?" "I had reason to think..." "An answer, yes or no?" "I forbade her." "Sister Suzanne, why are you barefoot?" " I've no shoes or..." " Your clothes so dirty?" " I sleep in them." " Why?" " I have no linen." " Why not?" " Taken away." " Do you have food?" "I have to beg for it." "Then you're not fed." "To warrant such punishment what was your crime?" "I had no vocation and denied my vows..." "That's a matter for the Law to decide." "In the meantime you must do your duty..." "Have you any complaint against anyone?" "No, sir." "I am here to defend myself, not accuse." " You may go." " Where must I go?" "Back to your cell." "Go along." "I shall now interrogate Madam." "I'll see that order is restored." "What a list of diabolical horrors." "Unbelievable." "I agree Monseigneur, but true." "Christians!" "The women is not worthy." "She deserves to be dismissed, Monseigneur..." " And yet, you know, she won't be." " Who will stop you?" "Nobody." "Madam certainly thought she did her duty." "I used to know her father." "An aristocratic military family poor but proud." "Her three brothers are officers." "The youngest was killed last year." "I see this child appealed to you." "Don't protest." "It's no crime." "And her petition?" "I think the court should reject it." " Without enquiry?" " What else can be done?" "Her friends have stirred up too much trouble." "What would people think if we were lax?" "Yes, alas." "Already our philosophers are writing:" ""If the prison gates were open to one victim.... the mob would force its way into them."" "They must be considered right." "Don't worry for Suzanne." "The lawyer will appeal - and the courts decide." "The decision will be theirs..." " You will abide by it?" " Let's hope it is a wise one." "Let us further consider the Simonin affair." "You have a visitor." "Your lawyer sent me." " I have lost..." " I know nothing." "He gave me this letter." " Is there a reply?" " No." "You can go..." "Suzanne..." "Did you read it?" "I received it." "I did not read it." " Then you..." " No, sir." "I guessed what it contained." "If I can help you..." "I could see the Church dignitaries..." "Don't trouble." "It's all over now." "No." "At least change convents." "Many good people are interested in you." "Some are wealthy and would provide for you." "You can leave here." "These good people have forgotten about me." " You must leave..." " I ask for nothing." "I hope for nothing and I resist nothing." "If only God could change me..." "but it's impossible." "The robe is now apart of my flesh and bone." "I hate this life." "I feel myself hating it." "You must transfer." "I'll visit you again." "You must leave here." "How are they treating you?" " Coldly." " So much the better." "Please send for the Superior..." "so she can hear." " Go on speaking." " You'll ruin me." "Don't worry." "You're no longer under her authority." "Before the week is out, you'll be transferred..." "You have a friend?" "Your lawyer." " Mr. Monouri?" " Himself." "As he has seen the Archbishop and other people." "He has provided money for your admission." "If there is anything wrong, I order you to tell me." "I know of nothing." "I order you by your holy vows...." "Very good." "I would ask you to keep this to yourself." " How do you know Manouri?" " Through my case." " Seen him often?" " Oh no, very seldom." "And since you lost your case?" " Just once." " Has he written?" " No, sir." " Have you written him?" "No, sir." "He will want to tell you all." "I order you not to see him." "If he writes send me his letter unopened." "You understand?" "Unopened." "Yes, sir." "I shall obey." "How pretty." "Sit down my child." " Pardon, Sir." " Granted." "You have been told about this poor child?" "They are wrong, I am sure." "She is sweet." " The Church you see..." " Pardon, Sir." "owing to the diversity of its convents, enables..." " You are adorable." " it's members to find their... place in this great body." "Everyone should try..." "When these pendants are gone, you'll sing us a little song, eh?" "try to discover a place assigned to him by... the Creator of all things." "Come sit down..." "Let me speak." "On changing convents you should..." " renew your vows." " It shall be done, Monseigneur." "Your benefice must go in charity." " A little more chocolate?" " We are sorry for the past." " A jam tart?" " Please sit down." " and will do our best..." " Poor child." "It's all over..." "Here she shall do what she likes." " Liqeur?" "or fruit?" " No thank you." "It's getting late." "Poor child, was it awful?" "I knew your Superior." "We were at school... together at Port-Royal." "Horrible!" "We'll talk about it later." "I just wanted to see if you were comfortable." "There my darling will pray." "You must have a cushion." "Is this armchair to your liking?" "The sheets are not very fine..." "Good mattress." "Oh, you must be tired." "sleep as long as you like." "It is late, Suzanne." "Mother wants to see you..." "Good morning Suzanne." "Did you sleep well?" "The coffee was made an hour ago." "I hope it is good." "To bad its cold." "Hurry up... and then we'll have a talk." " Your mother is dead?" " A year ago." " Your father?" " Just before..." "I have two sisters..." "They say you are full of talent and wit..." "Did you hear Ursula sing the Gloria?" " You know I didn't." " She's jealous of Dorothy." "Sister Clement, during the Gospel, did this." "Come along, Suzanne." "Play to us, and then sing..." "That's all very well for the church, but here... we're among friends." "Sing something gay." " She doesn't know..." " She's tired.." "No she must sing." "She has the most lovely voice." "I know nothing." "You remember what they sing in society." "Not so long ago." "It seems so long ago." "I never went out." " Do you know "Plaisir d'Amour"?" " My sisters used to sing it." " I'd say Ursula..." " Has a nobler..." "Nonsense." "She plays and sings like an angel." "She must give me lessons." "I used to play the harpsichord." "I'm not competent." "How does your pupil play?" "Her touch is lighter than mine." "But your hands are sweeter." "Therese, look at her pretty fingers..." "Don't lower your eyes." "Look at me." "Look at me." "Your Superior must know your thoughts." "You must hide nothing." "Tell me everything." "Won't you?" "If you don't..." "I'll whip you." "Therese go if you're bored." "I'm not bored." " I've so many things to ask." " Quite so." "I must know all about her." "She must tell me of her suffering." "I'm sure I shall weep, but then..." " Suzanne, when shall I know everything?" " When you say." "Now then if we have time." "What time is it?" "It's ten o'clock." "Time for Church." " Go on then." " Yes, Madam... but you promised me a moment with you before..." "I have worrying thoughts." "If I go to church without telling you, I can't pray." "Nonsense." "We'll speak of it tomorrow." " Dear, Mother!" " Madam, please grant my sister what she asks." "My story can wait." "Hear her and put her at ease." " You annoy me..." " I know it..." "You embarrass me." "I don't want to be..." "I know that..." "I can't govern my feelings." "I'd like to - but I can not." "Sister, what is the matter?" "Why do you avoid me?" "Can't our Mother love both of us?" "No... it's not possible." "Why did you have to come here?" "You won't be happy long I assure you." " And I shall suffer always." " But what do you fear?" "That I shall turn her against you?" "You don't know me." "It's not your fault." " But promise..." " What shall I promise?" "Promise me you..." " won't see her much." " But why?" "I assure you..." "I am lost." "What are you girls plotting?" "Mother, excuse me for coming here without permission." "Yes, you should have asked." "I wanted to console my sister." "What is it, for God's sake?" "She was worried about your kindness to me." "She feared I was supplanting her." "This quite natural feeling of jealousy... so flattering to you was torturing her." "So I reassured her." "Sister Therese, I had and still have a liking for you... but I will not have this jealousy." "Get rid of it." "Unless you want to destroy my love for you." "Remember the fate of Agatha... the one opposite me in choir..." "You know how kind I am, my child." "Don't make me punish you." "It hurts me..." "Sister Suzanne, come with me..." "You, go to your cell, and stay there." "Dear Mother... please pardon Sister Therese." "She lost her head." "She's distraught." "And suppose I pardon her..." " what will you give me?" " I have nothing." "Let me kiss you." "It's too late to begin your story, but... you can give me a lesson." "Go back..." "Go back to your cell quickly." "It's better you do." "Mother..." " thank you." " What for?" "The glass." "Don't mention it." "It's against the rules... but..." "Suzanne..." "I've been thinking about this Longchamp affair." "I have a proposal to make you." " You owe your dowry to charity?" " Yes, Mother." "Longchamp kept the other?" " Yes." " Paid nothing back?" " No, Mother." " It's not right." "You are entitled to claim it back, you know" "Well, Suzanne?" "What must we do?" "Sue Longchamp for the money in your name." "We'll pay the costs and share it." "What do you think?" "Now then, girls." "What do you say?" "You're dreaming." "Yes, I'm think that my name will again be bandied about... in the court rooms..." "More details and scandal... lies to make me appear hateful..." "I'm thinking of the bitterness, that I shall be ashamed... that I shall weep..." "I don't want that." "Let's not talk anymore of it..." "But leave her..." "Leave her alone!" " Do you love me?" " Yes, you are so kind to me." " No you don't." " I don't?" " No." " What do you want me to do?" " Guess!" " I cannot imagine." "This is dirty." "This is too tight." "No progress." " How old are you?" " Nearly 20..." "Tell me about yourself." "It would be long and sad." "Don't worry." "I love weeping." "You must like it too." "I'll wipe your tears - you mine." "Who knows?" "It may make us happy." "And you know where it might lead?" "Tell me..." "Suzanne... did you really love your first Superior?" "Yes, very much." "She didn't love you more than I do, but you loved her." "You say nothing." "I was unhappy." "She comforted me..." "What made you detest convent life?" "Tell me." "Sometime, somebody must have said you were pretty." " Yes, they did." " You disliked that person?" " No." " Were you fond of him?" " No." " What?" "No secret passion?" "Confide in me, I understand." " Nothing to confide." " Then why detest our life?" "It's the life itself." "The utter lack of freedom." "I feel that I am destined for other things." " What makes you think so?" " I'm bored..." " Terribly bored." " Even here?" "Yes, dear Mother, even here, in spite of your kindness." "But... do you feel within yourself any movements... desires?" " No." " I believe you." " Yours seems to be a placid nature..." " Fairly." " I'd even say cold." " I don't know." " You know society?" " Very little..." "What attracts you to it?" "I don't know... but I feel it." " Is it freedom you miss, then?" " Yes, that, and other things." "What other things?" "Speak to me frankly." " You'd like to marry?" " I'd certainly like it better than this." " Why?" " I don't know." "Tell me... what do you feel in the presence of men?" "If he's witty, I listen to him with pleasure." "If he's handsome, I notice him." " And your heart?" " No... not up till now." "And when your eyes meet those of a man?" " did you not feel..." " Embarrassed sometimes." "I lowered my eyes." "But no passion?" "No." "Your senses told you nothing?" "Is there... a language of the senses?" " Didn't you know?" " No, Mother, what good would it do me?" " You'd be less bored." " Or perhaps even more so." "Mother, I don't understand you..." " Then I'll be clearer..." " No, I'd rather not know." "Why be afraid?" "How innocent you are." "That's true." "I'd rather die than be otherwise." "Mother, what's the matter?" "Have I said something to hurt you?" "I've very sorry..." "I speak without thinking." "Excuse me." " Suzanne, do you sleep well?" " Yes." " You go to sleep quickly?" " Nearly always." "When you don't what do you think of?" "My past life and... the sadness of my future." "Or I pray, or weep." "What do you do when you wake up early?" "I get up." " Straight away?" " Straight away." "Don't you ever dream... and lie back on your pillow?" "No." "Nor enjoy the warmth of your bed?" "No." "Never?" "Have you ever looked at yourself?" " and been pleased to see..." " No..." "No and I don't know that I am so beautiful as you say." "In any case one is beautiful for others, not oneself." "Never...?" "Father Limoine is asking for you." "I told you to stay in your room." " Why are you here?" " At Mother's orders" " Been with her long?" " As long as she wanted." " You promised." " I promised you nothing." "What have you been doing?" "Have pity on me." "Don't worry, Suzanne." "It's only me." "What is it, Mother?" "Why aren't you asleep?" "I cannot sleep." "I have bad dreams." "I see you surrounded by them... with dishevelled hair and bare feet." "I tremble and awake." "I feared a disaster... and omen..." " I wanted to see you." " Dear Mother." "I am cold but I have nothing to fear." "I think I shall sleep." "Give me your hand." "How slow your pulse is." "Nothing disturbs it." "Dear Mother, your are still getting cold." "You're right." "I am going, my lovely one." "Mother, what is it?" "Why are you weeping?" "It's Therese." " Yes, I'm sure it is." " Do her no harm." "Goodnight, Suzanne." "Go back to bed." "Suzanne, go to your cell." "You are not to confess today." " Why?" " I do not wish it." " But..." " People can think what they want." "Come to me." "I will absolve you" "Come along." "I'll hear you now." "Go then, but promise me..." "Oh say what you want." "God will judge us..." "Well, Father..." "it's the Superior." "She comes to my cell and makes me go to her..." "I know..." "God be praised you are safe till now." "I dare not be more precise... and thus aid her designs... but you must avoid her." "Never go to her room..." "Close your door, specially at night." "If she comes in all the same, go outside... call out, scream if necessary, and wake everybody..." "Act as if you were confronted with Satan himself..." "If she pursues you..." "Yes, my child, I said Satan... whom you should see in the form of your Superior." "Say after me..." "Satana, vade retro." "Get thee behind me, Satan." " In good health?" " Yes, Father." " Could you go without sleep?" " Yes." "Then do not go to bed tonight." "After super, go to the alter and pray all night." "You don't know the danger you're in." "Thank God for protecting you." "Your only penitence will be to avoid your Superior." "I foresee the results of all this... but I must do it..." "God is our master." "We have only one law." "Suzanne, what are you doing here?" "You can see, Madam." " You know the time?" " Yes, Madam." " Why aren't you in bed?" " I'm preparing for Communion." " You want to spend the night?" " Yes, Madam." " On whose authority?" " That of the director." "The director cannot break the rules..." " I order you to bed" " He ordered it as a penitence." "Replace it by something." " I have no choice." " Come, my child, you will catch cold." "Go pray in your cell." " Avoiding me?" " Yes, Madam, I am." " Behind me, Satan." " What is it?" "Stop..." "I am not Satan." "I am your Superior and friend." "Pardon, dear Mother." "It's Father Lomoine who told me to." "What did he tell you?" "He interrogated me." "I had to reply..." "Am I so horrible to you?" "There was nothing to reply." "My friendship for you is normal." " Father Lemoine doesn't think so." " How?" "He sees black sin in it... you already damned me on the point of perdition." "He's a dreamer." "It's not his first silly prank." "I only have to like someone and he starts it." "He nearly drove poor Therese mad." "I've had enough of it." "I must get rid of him." "Anyhow, he lives ten miles away." "He's not on hand." "But let's talk in comfort." "Come up?" "No, dear Mother, no... please allow me to spend the night here... or I shan't dare..." "But Mother, you will take Communion?" "Of course." " Father Lemoine said nothing?" " No" "How can that be?" "You only confess to acknowledge your sins." "My friendship for you is not one." " Come..." "let's go to my room." " No, Mother..." "I swore before God I would not come again to you." " Let's each make a little prayer, and then..." " No, Mother." "Please allow me to pass the night here." "Very well, but on condition it's the last time." "Father Lemoine?" "He has left." "I am the new director." "What happened?" " can I trust your discretion?" " Most certainly." "Someone wrote of him to the Archbishop." "What did they say?" "That he was too austere..." "lived to far away." "Is supected of Jansenism..." "sows dissension... alienates the nuns from their Superior." "Who told you?" "He did." "I see him occasionally..." "He told me of you." "What did he say?" "That he was sorry for you... had only seen you once or twice... but was afraid for you..." "Afraid of what?" "Never mind..." "I am your confessor." "I can also confess to you." "Perhaps my example will lend you courage." "Sister Suzanne, I too had no vocation." "I never had." "I too entered religion against my own wishes." "The persecution you have suffered..." "I too have suffered." " Why do you tell me?" " To help you bear your lot." "That is our only hope." "You must resign yourself to it." "Good monks and nuns enjoy their mortifications." "They barter their present against their future joy... and we..." "Sister Suzanne... we suffer the same tortures... but for what recompense?" "We damn our souls with penitence as laymen with sin." "We fast... and they feast... and in the end the same Hell awaits us." "We are loaded with unbreakable chains... let us try to bear them, Sister." "I shall come and see you again." "No, dear Mother, I promised not to." "It's better for us both..." "I take too much room in your soul - room lost to God." "Do you reproach me?" " Won't you come in?" " No, Mother, no." "You won't Suzanne?" "You don't know what may happen." "No, you don't know." "You may kill me." "Suzanne..." "Suzanne..." "Sister Clement, pray for me." "Sister Therese, pray for me." "You must." "But..." "Father Lemoine..." " He was right." " But why?" "My Sister, follow my advice.... and that of Father Lemoine and never try to find out why." "If I only knew the danger I could better avoid it." "It could be the opposite." "I don't follow." "There are warning lights." "Were' you better informed... you Superior would be bolder." "I don't see." "All the better." "What is there dangerous about fondness?" "What is the harm in loving?" " It's so sweet." " True enough..." "And is it so common?" " Poor Superior..." " She wasn't cut out for this life." "I comes of opposing nature... a sort of madness." " Is she mad?" " Yes, she is... and it will get worse." "All those who have no vocation, does the same fate await them?" "No, not all." "Some die first... or get used to the life..." " or go on hoping..." " Hoping what?" "Annulment of vows..." "What else?" "Finding the gate open one day... or the house will be set on fire... or the outer wall will fall down" "That's very true..." "I have imagined things like that..." " I still do..." " When you no longer do... you detest yourself  and others." "You cry to Heaven... find a very high window... a well... a rope." "They are sometimes to be found." "Some go quite mad..." "Those who keep on hoping till the grave are still the happiest... and, no doubt, the unhappiest." "Father I am very sorry I listened to you." "Why?" "Before, I didn't know myself." "No, I do." "Father..." "I am a lost soul..." "Sister Therese... how is our Mother?" " She'll die of it." " What must I do?" "You could do much." "Sister..." "I don't understand you." "It's you." "I cannot wait any longer." "I must talk to you." "Father, I no longer wish to see you outside confession." "Listen, Suzanne..." "Today I shall confess to you." "What is it?" "Leave me in peace." "You made me lose what little courage I had." "Please go away." "How can I give you courage?" "I have none myself." "Listen." "Never have two human beings been so alike." "The story of your soul is the story of mine." "Why do you say that." "Go away." "Go away." "Let's be lost." "Suzanne, you too, are damning your soul." "Be quiet." "Suzanne, we must run away." "All is prepared." "A coach is waiting for us." "You will be in safety." "You will forget your suffering." "and find the world." "I don't believe you." " I cannot believe you." " Don't you want to be free?" "Oh yes, I do... more than ever, but not like that..." "It's the only way." "Give me two days..." "I'll await you tomorrow near the well in the garden at midnight." " Suzanne." " Yes, sister." "Say your Deo gratias in the barn." "Look at her pretending to be a nun..." " Have they caught that nun?" " No, but they got the monk." " What did they do?" " Hand him over." "He'll spend his life in prison." "The girl too, if they find her." "Serves her right for running away." " What is it Marie?" " Nothing, Madam." "Your not such a fool as to cry over her?" "All she ever had to do was eat, sleep and pray." "She was well off there." "If she had to work like us..." "We only know our own troubles." "She's a hussy who'll be punished." "You can't stay there." "Come along." "Follow me." "Did you take my message?" "Mr. Manouri is dead..." "Cheer up, there are others." " More handsome and more loving." " We're not jealous." "God, pardon me." "As is the madness of a man who... knowing nothing of navigation puts out to sea without pilot... thus is the madness of a creature who takes... religious vows without God's will to guide her." "JACQUES-BENIGNE BOSSUET"