"'Warnings of gales in Viking, North Utsire, South Utsire, Fair Isle... '" " What is change of course?" " Rudder hydraulics are failing." " We'll make for Southampton for repairs." " We carry on as agreed." "Look, man, it's not safe." "No, no, we go to Southampton." "No, you don't hear good." "Don't go England." "You can steer England, you can steer Biscay." "I'm sorry, chum, but I am the skipper..." "No Southampton." " Now Southampton." " Who the hell are you people?" "Not important." "Just obey." "And you will survive." "Nobody hear nothing?" "we can save this ship with, or without you." "But we'd prefer to do it with you." "Hey, I'm asking you a question." "Answer me." " You think..." " Haut les mains!" "Nothing changes." "You will make the rendezvous." "Abdul, I want you to radio ahead and tell them the weather has delayed us." " And if they want to speak to Mehmed?" " You will say he's not feeling too good." "24 hours to Southampton, you said." "Bien." "Diana, I'm just popping out." "I'll only be an hour." "Diana." "Diana." "Do you reckon if we'd met each other outside, we'd have noticed each other?" "Yeah." "I'd have noticed you." "Yeah, I think I probably would have noticed you as well." "Yeah, but then you would have gone back to your nice job in the City and your nice husband in Surrey." " You could have been my bit of rough." " Yeah?" " Yeah." " You'd like that, Captain Walshe." "Yeah." "I would." "Trooper Dow." " I dunno, what's she look like?" " Gotcha." " Hey, big fella, how's it hanging?" "They had the technology to rebuild you, then?" "All working?" " Tickety-shagging-boo, mate." " It's true." "Look at the ugly bollocks." "Caroline, get these wasters out of our office, please." " Welcome back, mate." " Jamie." "Who's that?" " Louis Hoffman." " Oh, yeah." "Are you in Red Troop now?" "God help you." " So you been busy?" " Watching paint dry, mate." "Haven't killed anyone for over a month." "There have been other distractions." " Piss off." " When are you fit for Ops?" " Ask Henno." " Ask Henno what?" " When I'll be fit for Ops." " Probably never." " Not unless you do selection again." " 22 Reg, Caroline Walshe." " It's not me." "It's Dempsey." "That was Group." "Red Troop needed for surveillance on a ship in Southampton." " You little beauty." "You're a lucky charm." " Take me with you." " I can do your comms." " No." "Caroline, leaving in five." "Sorry, Pete." "MV Dowager Joan." "Caught MI6's attention a while back." "Was being monitored by Royal Navy and SBS." "Suddenly arrived here for unscheduled repair stop." "Crew were carrying out repairs themselves." "Customs have been onboard and confirmed she is unladen." "As opposed to Bin Laden." "Yes." "A couple of things may confirm 6's suspicions." "Not a soul has moved more than a few yards from the ship and no radio traffic." "No immediate threat is anticipated and we expect her to be repaired and on her way within 36 hours." " So why are we here?" " Oh, metaphysics." "Gentlemen, this is our MI5 liaison." "Pru Banks." " Mrs Box." " Jem." " Sergeant Garvie." "You were saying." " Keep the ship under surveillance." "Photograph crew, monitor comings and goings." " And?" " Effect entry to the ship and install this." " Ah." " High-grade tracker." "So the Royal Navy will have an easier job of following her." "All this to be effected without the crew knowing they are being watched." "Can we be told why the ship and crew are of interest?" "Very little information. 6 say elements of paperwork and crewing are a bit suspect." "Nothing much else is known." "Are we to assume the X-rays are armed and pose a threat?" " Yes." " Is this an exercise?" " We wouldn't tell you if it was." " But it isn't." " But you'd say that if it was an exercise." " True." "Ricky, get tooled up." "Issue live rounds." "Jamie, do a quick recce." "See if you can find some close OPs for infiltration tonight." "I'll just stay here and do some Hoovering." "You and Louis, unload the rest of the pinkies and the kit." " Henno." " Sir." " Pete back?" " Yes and pushing to get back on Ops." " And?" " No." "No way." "Mentally and physically a bad idea." " I'm not happy having him in the office." " Sarge." "I came past your place last night to talk about Pete." "Couldn't get an answer." "You were either out or busy." "Sergeant Garvie." "Tell me exactly why you find it necessary to creep round my house at night." "Certainly, Captain." " I came to talk about Pete's family." " Bullshit." "However, I found you otherwise engaged." " You have a problem..." " I told you." "Keep away from Jamie." " Don't speak..." " You'll screw it up." " Don't speak to an officer like that." " So complain to Dempsey." " There is a life outside of this regiment." " Is there?" "For you, it's a few years of thrills and something to tell the grandchildren." "For Jamie, it's his life." "So finish it or I'll report the pair of you." "Fair warning." "Hi." "Map of the harbour." "Thanks." "Jamie, situation report." "Possibilities for OPs, warehouse." "For access to the ship, it's open on the shore side and they've got guys on stag." "Fine." "How do you fancy underwater access from the other side of the dock?" " Not much." " Tough." "Rig us out some reed breathers and dry suits." "Do we have plans of the ship?" "No." "Caroline, get onto Lloyds for the design spec." "Germanischer Lloyd." "Quicker than London." "Caroline." "Bloody hell." "Look at this. who'd come in here for a shag?" "Here you are." "Well, Louis, my sweet, it is likely we will be here for quite some time." " Oh, God." " Have you ever played gay before bed?" " Jem." " The idea is we come on to each other." "And the last one to bottle it wins." "It's really very simple." "Give me your hand." "You win." "You weirdo." "I always do." "Right." "We are in position." "Nice view." "Shitty hotel, lousy company." "'What I really need now is a firm-breasted beauty 'to help me through the long, dark night.'" "Piss off, Jem." " There's always one." " With this lot, there's always ten." " Tea?" " Mm." " Hi." " Hi." "So you're really going to swim across?" "More of a muddy walk." "Henno, er..." "Henno says we've got to stop seeing each other." "He came round last night." " That's no good." " It's bloody outrageous." "No, it's not good that he knows." "No." "You know we've got to stop." " Got to finish this." " Yeah." "I'll let you get on." " Hello." "It's me." "What are you doing?" "Erm..." "I was looking for the remote." " Why?" " What?" "Why do you need the remote?" "You never watch telly." "I thought I'd better start watching telly, as a hobby." "For my retirement." "I didn't realise Jamie was shagging Caroline." " You what?" " I'm not watching them, you nob end." "How come Jamie gets all the birds?" "Is his cock like a marrow?" " I wouldn't..." " And he gets the best jobs." "I'm patching a couple of mug shots over to you now." "On the nob front, it's standard army issue." "Possibly on the small side." "On the job front, you're right." "He does." "Are they grooming him to take over from Henno?" "Maybe he's shagging Henno, too." "Maybe they were playing gay before bed and neither of them bottled it." "Pete?" "No, please!" "No, please!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Please!" "No!" "I can't sleep." "Get off me!" " Oh, Jesus." " No, but thanks for the compliment." "Food and another chip for the camera." "You could have warned me." "What?" "Like a little shout of "Cooee!" From the dock?" " Shit." "That's not very nice." " Jem and I used it earlier." "It's a joke." " Why would you joke about that?" " No, it was erm... gay before bed." " It's a game Jem taught me." " Taught you?" " Told me about." " You're sick." " It was Jem." " Don't blame him." "You're old enough to say no." "would you leave me alone?" "I don't enjoy enclosed spaces at the best of times." " Where are you from?" " What?" " Simple question. where are you from?" " Kilburn." " No, originally." " Oh, originally I'm from Cricklewood." "You tired of living, you little prick?" "I make it 284 yards." "I make it 290." " Bearing?" " 082 degrees." " Travel time?" " Slack tide. 18 minutes." " How do we know when we're there?" " Your head hits the ship." "It's steel, you see." " Are you ready?" " Yeah." "This is Romeo One Zero Bravo." "We're entering the water at 0208." "Over." "'Have that.'" "'They're away." "I'm heading back.'" " Is that all the crew you saw?" " Yeah." "Just a few on deck." "Anxious wife?" "So it is true." " Does everyone know?" " Yeah." "There's a poster up in the canteen, next to the ad for the second-hand bikes." "Sorry." "A Freudian slip." "You're jealous." "Oh!" "Yeah." "Yes, I am." "Beneath all the gags and that..." "I would have liked..." "But rule number one is shagging Ruperts is wrong." "Who dares wins, eh?" "Yeah, and I didn't dare." "It's finished anyway." " Is it?" " Yeah." "And not a mistake I'll be making again." "Sorry." "I'm heartbroken." "So am I." " Any sign?" " Not yet." " That's one." " Both Yankees in place." "Roger." "Sierra One One, stood by." "This is Romeo One on lower deck." "Over." "Have you on visual." "Deck your side is clear." "Have X-ray One and X-ray Three standing on upper deck." "Got that." "We're moving to bow on starboard side." "Whoa." "Someone moving in cabin three." "Got that." "'Romeo One, ready to move to port side." "Are we clear?" "Over.'" "Deck your side is clear." "Got that." "This is Romeo One Zero Bravo." "Tracker in place and operational." " Very good." "It's live." " Roger that." "Is the upper deck clear?" "All clear." " That's all I'm getting from Henno." " Comms are always bad on ships." " It's the generators and steel bulkheads." " Uh-uh." "It's Morse." " Of course." " R, U, T, H..." "Ruth?" "...E, R, E. Are you there?" " Loud and clear." " Will X." "OK, I understand." "You're hiding and will exfiltrate as soon as possible." "I hope you're comfortable." "Not." "Poor sods." "It was a nightmare." "Pete, I saw the marks on her neck." "It could happen to anyone." "Anyone married to a murdering psychopath, that is." " What?" " Did you have this before Bosnia?" "Ah." "You want me to have PTSD, is that it?" "No, I don't want you to." "But people have been traumatised by a good deal less than taking seven bullets and four months on the critical list." "I'm fine." "I'm just bored." " Sweats?" " No." " Flashbacks?" " No." " Panic attacks?" " I tell you." "I'm fine." "Good." "So you won't have any objection to having a chat with Dr Simon?" "Please." "If I see a shrink, even if he says I'm hunky dory, it's still there on my file." "There's no going back." "I've got 18 months left to serve and I want to serve them on operations, not driving a bloody desk." "It's so boring." "I'm so bored." "I'm going to go mad." "Pushing goddamn paperclips." "I'm sorry, man." "You're a friend." "I've let you beat me at squash for nearly ten years." "Don't put me on the heap." "Please." "Eh, mon gars, on y va." "Romeo One Zero Bravo." "We've been trapped in a cabin." "I'm moving below decks to lay up until it gets dark." "Over." "'Could you repeat?" "Repeat." "Over.'" "You take right, I'll take left." "Argh!" "This is Romeo One Zero Bravo." "We have contact." "Over." "This is Romeo One Zero Bravo." "We have contact." "Over." "That sort of changes things." "Serious customer." "He knew how to fight." "This is Romeo One Zero Bravo." "We have contact." "Romeo One Zero Bravo." "We have contact." "Over." " Kalashnikovs?" " Vingt-cinq." "Vingt-cinq Kalashnikovs." "We can let ourselves out, but there's only one problem." "We don't know if there's a small army waiting outside." "This is Romeo One Three." "Do you read?" "Over." "It's stone dead." "Alternative exit." "What else can they throw at us?" "Shit." " What's happening?" " They've started the engines." "They've logged the departure at 1540." "It's less than an hour." "We've got to get Henno and Jamie off." " Why?" " Good question." "It's embarrassing if we don't." " We can ask the crew for them back." " Don't know what they're doing." "If they could have got off, they would have." "They're stuck." "Or captured." "Or dead." "Henno." "So we won't be able to get them off, but we can delay the sailing, give them time." " How?" " I could go on as a customs officer." " Tell them their paperwork's crap." " Sound." "No, if anyone's going, it's..." "Dotsy." "It's far less suspicious if a woman does it." "You know that." "She's right, Dotsy." "She's right." "Come on." "Let's do it." "We'll follow close behind in case there's any bother." "All right." "Roger?" "Roger?" "Qu'est-ce que tu fais?" "Don't spoil it, Willem." "In one hour we will be at sea." "Everything's good." "You'll even get a medal." "So don't spoil it, Willem." "Caroline's at the foot of the gangway." "All in position." "Merde." "Dourte." "Caroline is now on deck." "Romeo One Two and Romeo One Four in place." " Fouillez-moi tout ça!" " D'accord." "On y va!" "Plus vite!" "Plus vite!" "Plus vite!" "These guys could be French army." "That had occurred to me." "we need to call it in." " What kind of problem?" " You need to resubmit your certificate." "Dempsey." "All call signs." "This is Romeo One Zero Bravo." "Does anybody read?" "Over?" "Foreign Office?" "French Foreign Office?" "Have armed X-ray on deck." "Will I fire?" " Is he threatening?" " Not immediately." "What did they say?" " Armed man on deck." "At one o'clock." " We've got contact." "Let's go." "Caroline's up there." "Lob a flashbang." "Hold your fire." "Hold your fire." "Headset!" "Jem!" "Possible blue on blue." "Repeat." "Blue on blue." "British Army!" " Shit." " 'Do not engage.'" "I repeat." "Do not engage." "These are French Special forces." "Caroline!" "Three!" "Two!" "One!" "No, don't." "They're waiting for you." "Jem, I can't just..." "Jem." " Jem!" "Jem!" " OK, OK." "Save your breath." "Jesus." "Give me your hand." "Put your hands on it." "Caroline, keep your head up." "Keep your head up." "Caroline, look at me." "Don't close your eyes." "Stay, stay, stay, stay." "Stay there." "Stay with me, OK?" "OK?" "Cease fire!" "British Army!" "Keep your head up, OK?" "Look at me." "Man down!" "God help us." "Get another drag in." "Check for pulse." "One, two, three, four, five." "One, two, three, four, five." "One, two, three, four, five..." " Check the rhythm." "Is it still VF?" " Yeah, VF on screen." "OK." "Charging at 200." "Stand clear." "One, two, three, four, five." "One, two, three, four, five." " Clear." "Carry on, please." "You are army?" "Charging at 360." "Stand clear." "Putain merde." "Vous êtes armée." " Et vous?" " Why?" "Why did you do it?" "You are murderers!" "Us?" "Us?" " It's our country!" " What happened?" "You're army, right?" " Yes." "SAS." " What happened?" " Button it." "Sir, the men will speak to you tomorrow. 1200." "One, two, three, four, five." "One, two, three..." " Go back to control." " You can't leave." "This is a crime scene." "I understand your feelings, Superintendent." "However, like it or not, and check with the Home Office, 22 Regiment have rights, including the right to 24 hours' cool down after a firefight, before statements are made." "I am exercising that right now." "Sorry." "No pulse." "Come away from that, sir." "It's just meat now." "No pulse." " Get another drag in." " One, two, three, four, five." "One, two, three, four, five." "One, two, three, four, five." "Trooper." "Check the rhythm." "Is it still VF?" "Yeah, VF on screen." " Carry on CPR." " One, two, three, four, five." " Charging at 360." " Stand clear." " Clear." "No pulse." "Can you each put your weapons in a bag, seal it up and write your codenames on it, Soldier A, Soldier B and so on?" " What?" " You started it, didn't you?" " You should calm down." " I saw you lob a flashbang." "Jem saw Caroline and moved to fight." "Do you expect me to stand there?" "Not now." "Little shite!" "Gentlemen, I want something clearly understood!" " We're in the shite!" " Without a doubt." "Waist deep." "But the personal stuff stays inside this room or at Hereford." "And we remain a team." "We have until noon tomorrow to make ourselves ready for the impending storm." "So when weapons and clothes have been bagged and given to SOCO, we will all make our way back to Hereford." "Thin out for the evening." "Maybe have a pint or two for Jem." "And then we will meet up again at 0800 in the lecture room to sort out our story." " Nem con?" " Sir." " What's nem con?" " Shut up!" "The pair of you, shut up!" "Now, get this kit loaded and on the wagons and let's get out of this shit hole." "Well, move!" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Diane!" "Why didn't the French tell you they were there?" "They'd been trying to infiltrate this gang for a year." "Thought they'd be in and out of port in 24 hours and didn't want to blow their cover by notifying us." " Who were the gang?" " Turkish organised." "They'd arranged a transfer of drugs or illegal immigrants or both in the Bay of Biscay." "The crew had no idea what was going on, then they've got French Special Forces and the Turkish mafia..." " And you lot." " Yeah." " I think you should have another drink." " Good idea." "Geraldine, two more of these, please." "One for yourself, one for Ricky and one for that silly bollocks." "Put it on this and give us 50 back." "Dotsy says he's on the mend." "Says to have a crème de menthe frappée on him." " One of Jem's jokes." " Oh." "And gay before bed." "What?" " Any news on Caroline, mate?" " Afraid not, mate." " Do you want to come back for a coffee?" " All right." "Be with you in a minute." "what?" "Is this a grieving contest?" "When I joined it said on the brochure, the tradition was to have a pint." " Crack a few jokes." " You just don't get it." " It's not funny." " Pompous dick." "He's right." "Let's drink." "For tomorrow..." "Tomorrow we could be contemplating a rather long spell in the nick." "What?" "Even we aren't allowed just to go and shoot anybody." " But I didn't..." " Just shut up and drink." "Henno, I'm sorry, but they've rejected your card." " What?" " They told me I have to destroy it." " You're joking." " In front of you." "I have to or they'll strike us off." "It's the law." " Jem would have loved that one." " Oh, yes." "To Jem." "And to Caroline." "And to poverty."