"Who is it getting married?" "Is it Christine Brown?" "Just a little bit more." "Just keep back there." "'Now here he comes, three lengths ahead of Waterboy." "'Then it's Greased Lightning...'" "Now, just keep right back here." "Just keep out of the way, please." "Right back here." " Congratulations." " Thank you very much." "Thank you." "Did I sound nervous, Vic?" "No, it went off marvellous, Christine, just marvellous." " David." " Hello, Mr Brown." " You're on your own now, lad." " Yes, you're telling me!" "You look bonny, darling." "I've lost my speech, my few notes I jotted down." "Say we're pleased to see them and thank you for coming." "I suppose your Vic'll be the next one." "He's got plenty of time yet." "They're married before they know where they are." "Well, somebody'll get him one of these fine days." "She'd have to be up early." "Now, look right at me." "Yeah, now just look this way, please." "And hasn't he done well for his self?" "He's a schoolmaster, you know." " Yes, yes." " Lovely dress." " Beautiful." " Look this way." "That's the way." "Hold it." "Thank you." "Shall we have one of the best man and bridesmaids now?" " Yes, please." " The best man and bridesmaids, please." "If you come this way." "That's right." "Now just look this way now, please." "Look straight at me." "Hold it." "Right." "Can we... can we have the ushers, please?" "Now just look this way." "When you're ready, please." "That's the way, and let's have a nice big smile." "Just look this way." "Hold it." "Let's have a big smile." "Hold it at that." "Right, thank you." "Will the rest move on, please?" "Could we have the parents, please?" " Could you just move down here?" " Come on, Mother." "Can the bride's father go just a little closer, please?" "That's the way." "Just look this way." "Now, when you're ready." "Hold it at that." "Hold it." "Thank you." "Now, could you move off?" "And can we have the bridesmaids here again, please?" " You come down off here, please." " Yes, all right." "Come on, over here." "Come on, sweetie." "Now, when you're ready." "When you're ready." "Hold it." "Oh, they're cold, those two little bridesmaids." "Yes, yes." "They are very cold, starved to death, the poor little things." "Right, can we have all the guests, all the relations, on this one, please?" "Can you just come on to this side?" "That's the way." " Oh, some up at the back there." " Come on, love." "Right, right." "OK, get in." "Hold it now." "Thank you." "Come on." " Come on, our David!" " Thank you!" "Come on." "David." " Bye." " Bye-bye." "Hold it!" "Hold it!" " Oh!" " No, no, no, no, no!" " Get the door open!" " Bye-bye!" "Right, then, who's next?" "Come on." "Who's next in the car?" "Mam, Dad, Jim, Eileen and Susan in the second car." "In you get now." "In you get." "That's it." "Now it's Uncle Ernest and Auntie Edna, right?" "Mr and Mrs Harris." "Hey!" " Come on!" "Come on!" " Get back!" " Don't take all day!" " Who's that?" "Come on!" "Cut it out!" "Come on, you!" " Let's have you away from there!" " Oh, shut your cakehole!" "Ha-ha!" "You can stick Blackpool." "I'm going to Paris next year." "What's the matter with you?" "You don't think they walk around with nothing on, do you?" "They do." "I'll tell you, there's lasses over there and you know what?" "They open their coats when they see you coming and they've got nowt on underneath." "I'm telling you." "You ask that bloke from sales." "They've got knocking shops on every corner, run by the government." "Just think if we had 'em here." "No more running after bints in the dancehall." "You just walk in and pick 'em up." "There's that Vic Brown." "He keeps looking at me." "Oh, he's nice." "There she was, sitting there, blowing green bubbles!" "Hey." "Hey, I know what he's after." "Well, he won't get it there." "Hey, he's coming now." " I told you he liked you, Ingrid." " Do you think so?" "Yes!" " Hey, what time is it?" "I've got to go." " Haven't got a watch." " Got a pile of letters for Lockhurst." " Come on." "You don't half spend some time in that canteen, you lot." " What you been doing?" " Having two dinners." "Yeah, we know, chatting up the typists, more like." "The food's getting worse in that canteen." "I'm not kidding." "You can say that again." "I will not have anything from that kitchen." "Wasn't that your sister that got married in the paper?" "Yes, Mr Althorpe, our Christine." "I thought so." "How's married life suit her, then?" "Oh, she likes it." "She's got a lovely flat." "She's dead lucky." "Hm." "Let's have you, then." "Eyes down for a full house." "I wish I'd never started this." "I've been at it for days." "How's yours?" "Oh, it's not bad." "You want to write her nickname down, while you're at it." "Go on, write it down." "You know what they call her?" "The praying mantis." "You know what a praying mantis is?" "It's a big insect like a grasshopper and the female eats the male while they're actually on the job." "You've got a mind like a sewer, Conroy." "Oh, and, er... guess which bit she leaves till the last." "Go on, you haven't got all night, you know." "Come on, hurry up!" "Only two more!" "Get a move on!" "Only two more!" "Come on, get inside!" "Get inside!" "Hey, come on, you!" "Come on, then." "Pass all sides, please." "Come on, hurry up." "Come on." "What's up with you all?" "Oh, dear!" "Right, we're off." "Hold tight, please." "Can you have your right fares ready, please, love?" "Come on." "Have you got your fares?" "I can't change that note." "Can you get your right fare out, please?" "Oh." "Jammed again." "Come on, move over." "Two threes?" "Right." "Oh, are you getting one for your dad?" "He's got yours, love." "Any more fares?" "Can you have some right money, please?" "Get your fares out, please." "Have you got your right money, love?" "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you but I'm in a bit of a spot." "I seem to have left all my money in the office." "Of course." "I don't know anyone else on the bus at all, you see." " Threepence'll do." " It's all right." "I'll give it to you back as soon as possible." "I'm not frantic for it." "Hey." "I want to get home." "I've got tea waiting for me when I land." "Any more change?" " Here's your change." " Thanks." "Stupid of me." "I never do anything like this." "And I'll give it you back tomorrow." "It's all right." "You can pay my fare some time if you like." "All right." "I'll take you up on that." "Fares, please." "Come on." "Any more for this stop?" "Anyone upstairs?" "Right, hold tight, please." " Thanks for saving my life again." " It's all right." "I usually take the Holyoake bus, but I was going into town tonight with one of my mates to the pictures." "Oh, yes?" " You live up this way, do you?" " Yes, right out at Cross Green." "Oh." "Oh, yes." "It's lovely up there." "It is nice." "I thought you were going to get out at the square." "What?" "Oh, Christmas." "Well, I'll..." "I'll just have to get out at the top and walk down." " It's funny, isn't it?" " Hm?" "What?" "Well, I was just thinking." "You know, we've worked together for the same firm for three years and we've never talked to each other before." "Hm." "Yes, it is funny, isn't it?" "Yes." "You were at a wedding the other day, weren't you?" "Yes, my sister's." "I saw you standing there." "I love weddings." "I have got some photos of it, if you'd like to see them." "Yes, I'd like to." "This is where I turn off." "Oh." "Well, um..." "thanks for saving my life again." "Honestly, you and that threepence." "Well..." " Good night." " Good night." " I was going to ask..." " Have you seen that..." "Go on." "I was only going to ask you if you'd seen that picture at the Plaza." " I was wondering what it was like." " No, I want to see it." "Well, I had thought of going tomorrow, actually, but... well, any night would suit me, really." "Well, I can't make tomorrow." "How about Saturday?" "Oh, fine." "Yeah." "I'll see you Saturday evening at five o'clock outside the Plaza." "All right, Vic." " Good night." " Good night." " Hello, Dad." " Hello, lad." " Practising tonight, are you?" " Aye, got a concert next week." " Yeah?" "Where's my mother, then?" " Round at our Christine's." "I wouldn't wonder, the row you make." "They're just moving in." "They've left it like a dustbin, them builders." "Oh?" "Hey, where's my tea, then?" "Tea?" "Tea?" "White-collar workers don't get tea." "You want to get a day's work done before you get tea." " Get under!" " It's under a low light." "Right." " Hey, Vic." " He's started." "You won't tie a Windsor knot like that, Jimmy." " Give us a hand, Vic." "I'm hours late." " Hours late?" "What for?" " You done your homework yet?" " Course I have." "I'm meeting a girl, Irene, from school." "Come on." "She won't wait for me." "I've told you 100 times, left over right." "Up through the top and down." "Hey, this is a nice tie." "Where did you get this?" " I'll borrow this for threepence." " Half a crown." "Half a crown!" " Hey, what's she like, then?" " She's all right." "Very nice." "Nice work." " Vic?" " Yeah?" "You know when you go out with a girl, first time?" " Mm?" " You know when you walk her home?" " Mm?" " Well, what do you do?" "Well, how do you mean, what do you do?" "Well, I mean... you know." "Do you kiss her?" "Well, it's difficult to say, in't it?" "You've got to play it by ear, haven't you?" "Where did you get this?" "Hey, come on, give it to me." "You're not old enough for that." "I bet you wish you were married to her." "Well, no, I don't, as a matter of fact." "And listen to me, our kid, before you go out." "Lasses like these are ten a penny." "These are the kind you joke about with your mates." "When it comes to marrying a bird, you want something different." "Yeah, well, I'll worry about that when I'm 21." "What I want to find is a girl like our Christine." "I'm always kind of half-looking for her." "She'll be everything I want in a girl." "Everything." "It's a pity you'll miss "Spot Cash Quiz"." "That bus driver's still competing, you know." "It's £500 now and I think he'll win it, too." "It's amazing the memory some of those people have." "Have you got a new lipstick?" "Yes, it's called coral flame." "Do you like it?" "I don't know." "You seem to be taking a lot of trouble with yourself tonight." " What did you say his name was?" " Vic." "Vic Brown." " And he's a draughtsman, is he?" " Yes." "Does he live round here?" "No, I think he lives down Fountain Street way somewhere." " Fountain Street?" " Mm." "Well, what do you know about him?" "I don't know, Mother." "I'm only going to the pictures with him." " What does his father do?" " I don't know." "Well, I suppose it'll be all right." "Don't be too late in." "No." "'In those days, of course, 'the Weasel, now plastic, was made of wood." "'And here are our overseas visitors again, 'trying their hand at the most traditional pub pastime of all." "'Yes, it's double top, Mr Nklumba!" "'Commonwealth conferences are one thing, 'but it's taken a humble pub game 'to cement real international friendship.'" "Please." "Thank you." "Thanks." "I'm sorry I'm late." "I couldn't get away sooner." "I ran all the way." "I felt sure you'd have given me up and gone." "Of course not." "I knew you'd come." " Did you?" " Yeah." " Pass you, tosher?" " Oh, sorry." " Just two lollies." " Two lollies." " Oh, my gloves." " Let me." "Thanks." " I like your perfume." " It's called Desire." "You're living dangerously, aren't you, wearing stuff like that?" "I only wear it for special occasions." " Are there any more at home like you?" " Only me." " How old are you, Ingrid?" " 19." "You're only a kid." "Hark at Father Time!" "Anyway, all the girls I went to school with are married or settled down by now." "When are you thinking of settling down, then?" "When I find the right chap." "What sort of bloke are you looking for?" "Just someone who's with me all the time." "Well, you'll just have to wait and see who turns up." "How do you know he hasn't turned up already?" "Well, what are you doing out with me, then?" "Making him jealous." " Is he a big bloke?" " Ey up, darling." "'Mathieson's of Bull Ring 'have second-hand cars to suit every pocket." "'For your second-hand cars, see Mathieson's." "'For a meal to remember, try the Shangri-la Restaurant." "'Chinese and European cuisine." "'Blankets, blankets, blankets." "'1,000 blankets at never-to-be-repeated prices 'at Walker's Walkaround Stores now.'" "Vic!" "Vic." "Come on." "You heard the alarm." "Vic!" "Are you coming or do I chuck you out?" "Chuck us a fag, will you?" " Buy your own rotten fags." " Oh, you miserable cow." " Les!" "What are you smoking, then?" " My own." "Whymper'll give you one." "Aye, Whymper's got a kind heart, haven't you, Whymper?" "It gets more like a children's playground every day." "File number one." "Come on, then, let's have you." "Oops!" "Cut it out, then." "Hey, scrounger, cop for this." "Here you are then." "Come on!" "Here, Jeff." " Oh." " There she blows." "Hey." "Oh, yes!" "Oh, yes!" "Oh, didn't she come across and kiss him, then?" " Oh, get lost." " You've got a shock coming, mate." "Just because you had a bird in the back row of the pictures, you don't own her, you know." "Hey, Norman, come here a minute." "Take this to the lass that just went out, will you?" "I'll clean your boots for fourpence." " In't it sweet?" "In't it lovely?" " Doesn't it do your heart good to see it?" "You've said enough for today, haven't you?" "Come off it, Browny." "We all know you're doing a turn for our Ingrid." "Why don't you mind your own bloody business?" "Have you got her in the front room yet?" "Or is it just a bit of knee-trembling?" " You're a filthy-minded cow." " Ah-ah!" "You ought to watch it, mate." "She'll swallow you whole and spit out your boots." "You asked for it!" "Seconds out!" " Go on, then." "Get the knee in." " Come on, Vic, get the knee in." " Come on!" " Go on!" " Twist it!" "That's it!" " That's enough!" " Go on, get him down!" " That's it!" "Just report to my office, would you?" "Where?" "In't he lovely, Ingrid?" "You know, they've always wanted a boy." "Do you think the baby will look like Charlie?" "He might." "There's a letter for you here." "Thanks." "He's my little dream boy." "You can keep Adam Faith." "Is nobody going to the Palace tonight?" "You're coming, aren't you, Norman?" "Any chance?" " Nobody ever sends me letters." " Just a minute." "This place isn't a playground." "It's time you grew up, both of you." " I don't know what all the fuss is about." " What?" "It was only a bit of alecking about." "Well, I don't want to hear anything more about it." "Now, if you want to stay with us, just look to your work." "Now, get back to your boards." " Oh, er..." "Brown?" " Yes, Mr Althorpe?" "We've got a rush job on." "It's the Blakeney project." "I thought it might be your line of country." "A bit tricky, but I'd like you to have a shot at it." "It'll mean working over a couple of nights." "I'd like to have a go at that." "Only I'm not sure that I can work very late tonight, though." "I don't care when you do it, as long as they're ready first thing Wednesday." " Oh, they'll be ready by then." " Well, take a look at it, then." "Thank you." "Is that today's "Guardian", Whymper?" "Yes, it is." "You can borrow it at lunch time, if you like." "You can stick this bloody place and everybody in it, for a kickoff." "Nobody talks to me like a labourer off the shop floor." "There you are." "I got another job out of that." "Situations vacant." "That's no attitude." "You won't find another job as secure as this one." "Oh, stuff security!" "Pony Express, me." "Wells Fargo." "How the hell do you plan doing this?" "Well, go and fetch it, then." "What do you think you're paid for anyway?" "You'll kill yourself, one of these days, doing a thing like that." "I can stop this bus and make you get off, you know." "You saw me coming, didn't you?" "What do you think I'm doing?" "Practising for the mile or something?" "There's plenty more buses." "We've a schedule to keep." " Well, what do you want?" " Threepenny." " Where are you going?" " Arcade." " That's fourpence, then." " It's only threepence from the works." "That's the service bus." "This is a fourpenny route, 'cause we go round by the station." "Well, you're fourpence better off than if I hadn't caught it." "Not me, mate." "Makes no difference to me." "Ingrid!" "I'm sorry, love." "I've been on overtime." "It's all right." " Don't introduce me, will you?" " I've brought my friend along." " I hope you don't mind." " No, I don't mind." " This is Dorothy." "This is Vic." " Hello." "How do you do?" "Which way shall we go, then?" "Any way you like." "Shall we go to the pictures?" "There's a good one on at the Pavilion." "Yes, there's a good one on there." "Joan went last week." "No, let's go to the Plaza." "There's a musical on there." "Well, I don't mind." "How about you, Vic?" "If you like." "Hey, the kiosk's still open." "Let's go and get some toffee." " No, let's get chocolates." " OK, what do you fancy?" "Marzipan." "Something like that." " What do you want?" " Crunchie." "Let's have Crunchie." " No, Poppets." "Let's have Poppets." " Can I have a box of Poppets, love?" "Thank you." "Here you are." " Ta." " Thanks." " Want one, Vic?" " No, thanks." "I'll have a cigarette." " Have another." " Ta." "Oh, look!" "Oh, look." "Do you like those?" " Where are we going, then?" " What, those?" "They're not bad." " That green bag." " Oh, it's old-fashioned, in't it?" " Sylvia's got one." " Look at those." " Ingrid!" " Ooh, gosh!" " Ingrid." " Yeah?" "Look, I'm walking on here by myself like a charlie." "Sorry." " What's she come for, anyway?" " Well, she..." "Ingrid, look at that coat, where it says Drymac Coats." "Ralph Wilson used to work where they're made." " Ralph Wilson?" " You should know." "Come off it." " I didn't know he'd left." " Gone to work for a solicitor." " He won't speak to you now." " He always speaks to me." "Well, he ought to speak to you, if anybody." " What do you mean?" " Well, that time at the tennis club." "When you got locked in the changing room and nobody could get in." "You know who locked us in, though, don't you?" "It's not who locked you in." "It's what you were doing when you were in there." "We weren't doing anything." "That's not what Ralph Wilson goes around telling everybody." "You're everybody's best friend, aren't you?" "What's up with you?" "I know plenty of things about you you wouldn't want me spreading about." "You spread anything about me and I'll slap your bloody arse for you." "If you lay a finger on me, I'll..." "Anyone who'd lay a finger on you would deserve a medal." "You'd need a sack over your head before anyone could take you on." " You shouldn't have said that, Vic." " She asked for it." "Well, what am I going to do?" "I can't leave her." "Well, why the hell did you bring her for?" "I had to." "She was over for tea and she just tagged on." "Look, you're on a date with me, not her." " She's my best friend." " God help you!" "I must go to her." "You've hurt her." "She's very sensitive." "Yeah, looks like it." " I'm sorry, Vic." " I'll bet you are." "If you didn't want to see me tonight, why didn't you tell me yourself?" "Why did you have to bring her along to do the job for you?" "Best friend!" "Another time, you can find some other charlie to take you out!" "Come on, Dot." "Well, Mr Harris, how do you like being invaded by your in-laws?" "Oh, go on." "I'm an old married man now." "Come on, lovebirds." "Plenty of time for that when we've gone." "What shall I do?" "You won't have these dishes five minutes." "They break, do these." " Where would you like this?" " I'll put it under here, David." "They don't give you much of a fireplace, do they?" "It's quite warm really." "Give over criticising." "They were lucky to get anywhere." "Alice's daughter's been married a year, and she's not got anywhere yet." "Here we go again." "Well, I think you've done very well, David." "Well, thank you." "I'm glad you like it." "You've a nice view here, I must say." "Yes, not bad, is it?" "Bit different round here since I were a lad." "Look, there's where the old Coach  Horses used to stand." "I've rehearsed for many..." "Our dad's off again." "Yes, well, wait till you're visiting your children for your Sunday tea." "Oh, give us a chance." "Yes, I admit, I don't suppose you'd recognise it." "It's years since I..." "What you looking so gloomy about, then?" "Oh, nothing." " Has she let you down?" " Who?" "That girl I saw you out walking with in Beacon's flat last Sunday." "There might have been six more since then, for all you know." "There might have, but I bet there hasn't." "No, there hasn't." "That's our Jim." "Come on, let's get started." "Here, take that in." " Right." " Get some practice in." "Here he is." "Nearly got lost once." "Come on, lad." "We're only just waiting for you." "Now we can get stuck in." "I'm glad you've come." " Our Jimmy, about time." " Sorry I'm late." "Sit down, everybody." "Our Mum next to our Dad." "That's it." "Our Victor next to Jimmy." "Enough for a regiment here, love." "Now, then, everybody." "Who doesn't want salmon, then?" "Mother?" "Not too much for me." "It's too rich." " Righto." "Dad?" " Yes, please, love." "A lass asked me to give you this." " What?" " A lass asked me to give it to you." "If you've anything to say, my lad, just say it out loud." "Thank you, love." "I must say you've done us proud." " I'm enjoying this, I can tell you." " Are you?" "Good." "Brought back memories to me, David." "Know where them block of flats are now?" " No stopping him once he's started." " Give over." "Do you know, across the road there, there used to be a baker's shop." "Us kids used to go there, when we were young and for a penny you could get a bag of stale cakes." " Could you really?" " You could, that." "And the old schoolhouse, that's no more." "On a Friday afternoon..." "I've just remembered I've got to go and see someone." "See you." "Where the Hummer does he think he's going?" " He's not had his tea!" " I'm not hungry." " Oh, I do apologise, David." " What's the matter with him?" " He's been in a bad mood all day." " It doesn't matter, Mother." " Happen he's got some reason." " Yes, I expect he has." "Now, come on, let's get on with our tea." "David, pass your plate." "Yes, please, I'll have some salad." "Oh!" "Ha-ha!" " Hello." " Hello." "I'm glad you knew which park." " I didn't think you were gonna come." " It's all right." "It doesn't matter." "I'm glad you got the letter." "I thought you might have gone up to Five Acre Park." "I didn't know what you meant." "Beacon Park or Five Acre Park?" "I wasn't sure whether you'd made other arrangements or what." "It's all right, love." "Shall we walk a bit?" "Did you get the wedding photographs?" "No, I couldn't, 'cause we weren't at home, you see." " Where were you?" " We were over at our Christine's." "Shall we sit in there?" "It's a bit cold out here, in't it?" " Yes, all right." " All right." "They must have thought I was trying to pick someone up in your street." "I was waiting outside your house for ages before your brother came out." "You'd wait till Christmas if you wait for him." "I wanted you to get the letter." "Well, if I'd have left it till Monday, it would have had all weekend to pile up in... you know." "How did you know where I lived?" "I know more about you than you think." "Do you?" "I didn't want her to come, you know." "Well, why did you let her, then?" "Well, she's like that, Dorothy." "She just tags on." "I'm sorry." "Who called you Ingrid, then?" "Was it your mother or your dad?" "My mother." "She called me after Ingrid Bergman." "You know, she was in that film "For Whom The Bell Tolls"." "It was her favourite film." "It came out the year I was born." "I've read the book." "I haven't got much time for reading." "I suppose if I'd've been a boy, she'd have called me after Gary Cooper." "I thought it was a funny name for an English girl." "I like it." "What, this?" "Would you rather I was called Mary or... or Barbara or something?" "I like you just the way you are." "Do you, Vic?" "I wouldn't have run after you if I didn't, would I?" "No." "I suppose not." " Oh, Ingrid." " Oh." "I love you." "I'm crazy about you." "I am." "I'm crazy about you." "I am." "I am crazy about you, Ingrid." "Vic." " Oh, Vic." " Mm." " Please." " Mm." " Vic." " Mm." "We mustn't." " Vic?" " Yeah?" "You don't think I'm common, do you?" "No." "Why should I?" "You see, you were out last night, lad, and the night before." " You've not been in for weeks." " I won't be in for a few more, either." "I don't know where you get to." "And you listen to me." "We're going to our Christine's again this Sunday and I don't want you sloping off in the middle of it like you did last time." "Don't bring that up again." "We've heard nothing else from you since." "Our Christine didn't mind." "Why should you?" "Our Christine'll stick up for you." "She always did." "I don't know what David thought, I'm sure, and you could take a lesson or two from him on how to behave yourself." "Could I?" "You never told me where you went to." "No, only 63 times." "I had a date." " With a lad?" " No, with a gorilla." " I'll be going, Mother." " Here you are." "When are you going to bring that stuff up from the allotment?" "When I can remember, love." " I'll walk down with you, Dad." " All right." " Do I know this lass?" " No." "No?" "Oh, it's all a sly business." "I expect you'll tell me in your own good time what you want me to know." "Yeah, I'll send you a postcard." "And somebody told me they'd seen you out with a lass." "She's a funny woman, your mother, sometimes." "She's got a bee in her bonnet this morning." "I know." "How are you getting on at work, then, Victor?" "Still liking it?" "Oh, I like it all right." "Seems to be good prospects in your line." " Papers are always full of it." " Oh, there's plenty of jobs about." "Well, what do you think of Dawson's, then?" "Are you reckoning on staying on there?" "I don't know." "I don't want to stick there forever." "I wouldn't mind the chance to travel, you know, get around a bit." "I've been talking to some of our fellers who've been abroad and... sometimes I think I've never seen anything, sticking at home." "Well, I suppose there comes a time in most chaps' lives when they have to make out for themselves, especially if they want to make headway." "Yeah." "The best time to do a thing like that's when you're still single." " I suppose so." " Aye." " Before you get tied down." " Aye." "Mind, if you do think it's best then for you to make a move, it's up to you." "I don't want you to think there's anyone here holding you back." "No, I see that, Dad." "I see that." "Is it serious, then, this lass?" "No, I just go about with her, that's all." "Your mother seems to think it is serious." " Well, she imagines things." " Aye." "You didn't go down there last night, then, Geoffrey?" "No, then, lad." "I was up there all night." "Hey, Frank, just a minute." "Here." "You won't recognise this one, will you?" " It's not your lad, is it?" " It bloody is." "Well, you've fattened out, then." "How's work going down?" " All right." " He's doing well." "He's doing fine." "They think a lot of him down there." "Well, I'll have to be getting along, Dad, you know or I'll be late." "You don't want a new clerk, do you?" "Eeh, I don't know." "They don't know when they're well off, do they?" "They don't, and you can't tell 'em owt either." "You've still got him up at home, have you?" "Well, up to press we have." "He's got some lass hanging round him, though." " He's big enough." " And bloody daft enough." "I'm sorry I'm late, love." " I'd nearly given up." " I made it anyway." "No, only I had to go down to Beulah Road to the blood donation centre." " The what?" " You know, blood." "They came round work, didn't they, asking for people?" "Yeah, that's right." "Oh, can I have a coffee, please?" " Anything else?" " Do you want anything?" " Only just had my tea." " No, just one, please." "No, they came round to the typists, asking, but I wouldn't go." " Can't stand the sight of blood." " Well, you don't see it." "You do." "I've seen it on telly." ""Call Dr Martin"." "They have this bottle hanging from above the bed." "That's a transfusion, you stupid girl." "Who do you think you're talking to?" "No, you don't see anything." "It doesn't hurt." "You wouldn't get me to go." "Anyway, you get off work early." "They give you a cup of tea and a biscuit." "It's all in a good cause." "You never know when it might be your turn." "Oh, shut up, Vic." "Honestly, I just hate the thought of hospitals." "I can't stand 'em." "I don't know why I watch "Call Dr Martin" every week, because I'm always waiting for something awful to happen." " Did you see it last week?" " No." "Oh, I do wish you'd watch it." "It's quite good really." "No, because they've got this new sister, Sister Fairlie, and she's supposed to be in love with Dr..." "What's his name?" "Not Dr Martin." "The tall one." "Well, of course, his wife's paralysed from the waist down." "I think if she died it'd be best for everybody." "Oh, hello, Ingrid." "Oh, hello." "Bet she's surprised to see me here." "She's been keeping out of my way ever since I told Everton a few home truths about her this afternoon, and if I know him, every word will have gone straight back to her." "Still, it doesn't bother me." "Well, he comes walking in at half past four, with this great big pile of letters he wants typing and I'd already got four statements to type." "So, I just said to him straight out, "Why don't you ask Marjorie to do it?"" ""Oh," he says, "Marjorie's got enough on her plate."" "I said, "Mm, it's funny Marjorie's always got enough on her plate" ""when there's a last-minute job on."" "And, honestly, Vic, she spends more time in that cloakroom messing about with her face than anyone I know." "I think Mr Everton's a bit gone on her." "Course, anyone can get him if they set about it the right way." "Just look helpless." "You ought to see Marjorie, the way she looks at him all helpless, like." " Vic?" " Hm?" "You haven't been listening to a word I'm saying." "Yes, of course I have." "You were talking about work." "Talk to yourself around here." "Did you get my birthday card?" "Oh, yes, thanks, love." "I'm sorry I forgot to mention it." "Would you like to get me some more coffee?" "Yes, would you like anything else?" " No, thanks." " Right." "Another coffee, please." "Well, the money doesn't go into your pocket, does it?" " What's this?" " Open it and see." "Many happy returns." "Thank you." " Do you like it?" " Yes, it's lovely." "It really is." "It's lovely." "You shouldn't have done it." "Well, I knew you hadn't got one." "Well, it's just what I needed." "You're a funny lad, Vic." "Do you think so?" "Yes, and I love you." "Well, that's all right, then." "You are quiet." "Am I?" "Haven't you got anything to say?" " Vic?" " Mm?" "I thought at first, just now... that you wanted to, you know, do everything." "Yeah, I might have." "I wasn't daft enough to try." "I wonder if it's anything like that." "I suppose it must be." "I don't know." "I wondered." "You know Irene at work?" "That girl with the long hair in our office." "She just won't believe me when I tell her I don't know what it's like." "She's always telling me." "She's awful." "You ought to hear some of the jokes she tells." "Honestly, she's got a one-track mind." "She's going out with Sidney Chapman." "You know, she is funny." "She goes dancing three nights every week, only she doesn't like dancing, really." "She just sits at the table." "I suppose a lot of people do that, though, don't they?" "Just sit at tables." "I can't see the point in it, myself." "Come on, let's go." "Oh, these shoes." "Just a minute, Vic." "Just a minute!" "Bacon, mash potatoes." " Beef, please." " Cold beef and mash potatoes." "Anyway, I was telling you about this boy." "He's in his car, like, and he said, d'you know, if we wanted to go out, we could." " Saved a seat for you, Vic." " Thanks, love, all the same." "But they've got one for me over there." "Have you seen "Oh What A Clanger" at the Regal yet?" "Yeah, I went last night with Bob." "Have you seen it?" "No, not yet." "I was supposed to go with my mother on Saturday." "But she's had to go away for a few days." "You know, my auntie's ill." " What a shame." " Anyway, I might go with Dorothy." "I see there was a fellow over from Milan to see Jimmy Patterson, Saturday." "Yeah, well, if he goes, we've had it." " Mm, second division for us." " You can say that again." "You dirty low-down no-good Yankee draughtsman, draw!" "I'm not afraid to die for Mary-Lou." "We could have picked them birds up." "They were looking round at us." "They were looking round at the row you were making, more likely." "We'll get chucked out of there, one of these days." "Where are we going now, then?" "Gala Rooms?" " How about a game of snooker?" " What, again?" "Why not?" "I'll give you two blacks, play you for the table, then I'm going home." "Hark at Joe Davis." "Hello, Vic." "Hello." "What are you doing here?" " Vic, I had to see you." " You see me every day at work." "No, Vic, you've been avoiding me, you haven't spoken to me all week and I haven't been out with you for three weeks." " What's wrong?" "What have I done?" " Nothing." "No, I've been busy, you know." "I've had a lot to do." "A friend of mine came over and he stayed longer than we expected." " Is it something I've said or done?" " No, nothing." "It's rotten being a girl, sometimes." "I'm sorry, love." " What are you doing tomorrow?" " Going to the match." "It's cup tie." "What about Sunday, then?" "All right, I can come Sunday." "I'll see you in the park, same place." "I thought you didn't care for me any more." "I'll see you Sunday, then." "OK." "Good night, Vic." "Two, four!" "Three, four!" "Can we have a recall?" "B-O-L-T-O-N!" "Bolton!" "Get out the way, you fool!" "Get it between the posts!" "Hey!" "Mavis!" "Couldn't you get a bloke to bring you, then?" "Get back to the drawing office and sharpen your pencil." "I've been watching you trying to get off with that goalkeeper." " Hey, who's that, then?" " Bird." " She's all right, isn't she?" " Course she's all right." "You'll be all right too, mate." "Stick with me." " Yeah?" " Where we going tonight, then?" "Chatty, aren't they?" "Well, don't speak, will you?" "Here, how about tomorrow, then?" "Ignorant slags." "Listen, are you OK if I get them fixed up?" " No, I can't." "I'm fixed up already." " Oh, well, pull the ladder up." " Who with?" " A bird." "You're not still on with that, are you?" "You're better off with these two." "I don't know so much about that." "She must have changed, then." "I thought she was one of the untouchables." "Well, it depends how you handle them, doesn't it?" "Phil!" "Tony!" "Come here!" "Where have you been?" ""Stick with me," he says." "You won't go short if you do." "There's plenty more where they came from." "Go on." "Hey, when did you last make the grade?" "Couple of months ago." "Yeah, in your flipping imagination." " You want to be careful, you know." " I always am." " Are you?" " Yes." "Go on." "You're all right." "There's a man serving." "Go on, then." " Small." " Right." "Anything else?" " Oh, and some cough mixture." " Right." "Yes?" "Can I help you, sir?" " Oh!" " In't it awful?" " You look like a drowned rat." " I feel like one." " Where shall we go, then?" " Well, my mother's gone away." "You can come home and dry off if you like." "All right." " I'm not ticklish." " I bet you are." " I'm not." " I bet you are." "See." " Oh!" " What's the matter?" " I've scratched myself." " Have you?" " I'm sorry, love." " What's that?" " Can I look?" " Hey, give it to me." " Not till I've seen what it is." " Give it me." "No." "All right, then, have a look." "See if I care." "Oh." "You mucky devil." "Why?" "Well, you are, carrying a book like this." "I don't know how they can do it, posing like this." "It's just a job." "I'd like to know what goes on in these studios." "She's lovely, though." "Isn't she firm?" " She's no nicer than you are." " Get away." "Well, I think your figure's just as good as hers." "Look at her bust, though." "Bet she doesn't need a bra." "I think you've got lovely breasts." "I've always thought so." "Yes, well, we won't go into details." "I wish we could." "You want a lot, don't you?" "Ingrid, you know how I feel about you." "That's the trouble." "I don't know." "Nobody's ever got me this way before." "You don't always feel like that, though, do you?" "You're not bothered about me." "I don't know what I do feel half the time." "That's the trouble." "Sometimes I feel rotten about it all." "Sometimes I think it's not fair on either of us." "And sometimes I feel like I do now." "Yes." "I know." " Do you want to pack it in?" " No." "I don't want to pack it in." " What's the matter?" " Somebody might come..." "Your mother's gone away, hasn't she?" "Yes, I know, but the neighbours..." " Lock the door." " I have done." "If somebody comes, you can pretend to be in the bathroom." " Vic." " Come on, Ingrid." "Come on." "It's nothing, you know, really." "Not to you, perhaps, but it is to me." "I think of nothing else sometimes." "Well, I can't do it while you're here." "You'll have to go out." " I'll go to the bathroom, then." " All right." " Vic?" " Yeah?" "Give me time, won't you?" "Yeah." "I love you, Ingrid." "Did you get anything... you know?" "No, I couldn't." "We'd better not go too far, then." "No." "Do you love me, Vic?" "Yes." " Do you?" " Yes." "You meant all those things you said, didn't you?" "Well, I must have done or I wouldn't have said them, would I?" "You didn't say them just for what you could get?" "No, love, I wouldn't do that." "But you don't mean them now?" "Course I do." "Better get dressed." "Phew." "It's hot in here." "What's up with you?" "I don't think it's hot at all." "You don't fancy going out for a drop of fresh air or summat, do you?" "No, I don't." "I don't fancy any fresh air." "I said I'm cold." "Do you fancy a drink, then?" "Rum and pep?" "Don't drink." "Well, I could warm you up." "It'd take a man, not his shirt button." "Enjoying yourselves?" "That's right, yes." "Enjoying yourselves?" "Jolly good." "Oh, you know my wife, don't you?" " How do you do?" " How do you do?" "Look out, here he comes." "Watch it." "Well, lads, having a ball, eh?" "Marjory, my dear, these are some of the reprobates I have to contend with." "May I introduce my wife Marjory?" "Mr Shaw." "Mr Rawly." "Mr Brown." " How do you do?" " Mr Duggins." " How do you do?" " Yes, well." "Be seeing you later, then." "Fancy waking up and finding her in bed." "Hey!" "What you doing?" "Kidnapping?" "Get away!" "It's my little Adam Faith, this is." "Now, then, you draughtsmen, no slacking." "I want those blueprints out by 12 o'clock." "Aye, it's all right for some." "Do what I did, kid." "Get out of it." "I thought he was supposed to have left." " Jealous, are we?" " What's up with you?" "I don't go out with her now." "I'm beginning to wish I did tonight, though." "She's looking all right." "Do you know, it's a funny thing?" "Sometimes I really fancy her." "The next day, I can hardly stand the sight of her." "Ladies and gentlemen." "There will now be a short pause for refreshments." "Hey, that little blonde." "She's from the machine shop, isn't she?" "Stand by your beds." "Return of the bad penny." "Well, it's just nice to see what I've got out of." "When you get to my age, you want security and a pension, eh, Vic?" " I'm going off security a bit." " There you are, another convert." "Well, I mean, you can have a bit too much security, can't you?" "I'd like to get out of this town, go somewhere else." "Have a look around." "Enjoy myself." " Are we all happy?" " No!" "And now, as a special treat for you all, the Dawson Whittaker's Formation Team, who, you'll all be interested to know, will be going forward to the preliminary round of the Northern Area Formation Dancing Championship." "So, we might see them on the telly yet." "I've had enough of this." "Who's for a pint?" "Right." "Where are we going, then?" "Red Lion?" "No, the beer's like witches' water there." "Let's go to the White Hart." "Vic!" " What?" " I've got to talk to you." " Are you sure?" " Yes." "How do you know?" "Something that should have happened hasn't." "How do you mean, it hasn't happened?" "You know what I mean." " How long?" " 15 days." " Well, that's nothing, is it?" " It is with me." " But you can't be sure." " I am sure, Vic!" " What are we going to do?" " I don't know." "We'll get married, then, if we have to." "I've always wanted to marry you, Vic." "I've often imagined how you might propose to me and now I'm forcing you into it." "You'd never have asked for me but for this, would you?" "I know you wouldn't." "I've asked you, haven't I?" "I've said we'll get married, haven't I?" "I shan't force you, Vic." "You won't turn me down, though, will you?" "I won't." "I won't." "I've always wanted you." "Well, now you've got me." "And your father's profession?" "Engine driver." " And what's your address?" " 25 Fountain Street." "25..." "Fountain Street." "Right." "Thank you." "Would you take a seat a minute?" "The registrar won't keep you a moment." "Well, it's a nice day for it." "Morning." " Victor Arthur Brown?" " Yes." "And Ingrid..." "Ingrid Rothwell?" "Yes, now, we do have your mother's consent... here." "Oh, yes." "Yes." "Mm-hm." "Seems to be in order." "Please rise." "Now, there are one or two things that I do have to tell you." "This place has been sanctioned for the solemnisation of matrimony and matrimony should not be entered into lightly." "It is a lawful and binding union between one man and one woman, entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others." "Victor Arthur Brown, repeat after me." "I do solemnly declare..." " I do solemnly declare..." " ...that I know not..." " ...that I know not..." " ...of any lawful impediment..." " ...of any lawful impediment..." " ....why I, Victor Arthur Brown why I, Victor Arthur Brown may not be joined in matrimony may not be joined in matrimony to Ingrid Rothwell." "...to Ingrid Rothwell." "Now, Ingrid Rothwell, repeat after me." "I do solemnly declare..." " ...that I know not..." " ...that I know not..." " ...of any lawful impediment..." " ...of any lawful impediment..." "Be sure to write the minute you get there and tell me about the hotel and all that, if you're comfy." "I'll be all right, Mam." "When I think of the nice wedding I wanted her to have, all in white and the church and the choir..." "It doesn't matter, Mother." "It's their lives afterwards that count, not the ceremonial." "Come on, love, let's go." "Bye, Mam." "Ta-ra." "Goodbye, love." "Look after her, won't you?" "I will." " Cheerio, Vic." " Cheerio." "Come on." " Goodbye, love." " Ta-ra!" " Goodbye, Vic." " Bye, Vic." "Bye!" "Here!" "Don't forget to write!" "Don't catch cold!" "Ta-ta, love!" "Our Christine had a white wedding, but it's all cost." "I mean, they'd do better saving their money." "Well, it's done now." "We shall have to see." "If her father had been alive," "I doubt if there'd have been a wedding at all." " Bye-bye!" "Bye-bye!" " Bye!" "Well, missus." "Well, mister." " Vic?" " Hm?" "Here." "Vic." "Do you think we should?" "Don't you think it might be dangerous?" " How do you mean, dangerous?" " For the baby." "What the heck?" "It's ages before it gets dangerous." " Didn't your mother say anything?" " She said I had to be careful." "What's she trying to do?" "Spoil our honeymoon?" "She was only thinking of me, Vic." "She didn't mean any harm." "Oh, Christmas!" "Now, just you hang on a minute." "Now, look." "It says you're OK till about six months." "Now, never mind what your mother says." "See what that says." " What is it?" " It's for people getting married." "It tells you things, how to go on and all that." "I wouldn't have thought you needed any lessons." "Yeah, well, anyway, get reading that." "I'll take your word for it." "What have you got this passion-killer on for?" "It's a passion-rouser." "It's sheer nylon." "I bought it especially for you." "Don't you like it?" "I like it when I'm looking." " I'm not looking now." " Oh, Vic." " Come on, then!" " Hiya, Mam." "Come on, Vic." "Hello, love." "Eeh, it is nice to see you." " Have you enjoyed yourselves?" " Well, sort of." "Did you have that terrible storm yesterday?" " Yes." " Ooh, it was shocking here." "How many postcards did you send?" "I didn't get one on Wednesday." "It is nice to get home again." "Eeh, everything's been going wrong while you've been away." "The new carpet hasn't come." "They promised me faithfully it would be down and fitted by the time you came back, and now they're saying it'll be another fortnight." "Never mind." "And the television's gone wrong." "Well, I'm saying it's gone wrong." "The BBC's all right, but there's a shadow on the commercial." "Vic'll have a look at it, won't you, Vic?" "Yes, I'll have a look at it." "Oh, well, I shouldn't touch it, if I were you, because it's still under guarantee." "And anyway, I've got a man coming to look at it this afternoon." "Well, we'll show Vic where everything is." "Get the cases unpacked and then we'll all have a cup of tea." "You know, I've only had that set three months." "I hope that man comes." "It's "Take Your Chance" tonight." " Do you watch it, Vic?" " I think I've seen it, yes..." "There's a retired major competing at the moment." "He's having to work as a car-park attendant." "It's extraordinary, a man of that background and education." "And then there's some of these people, miners and such like, they're earning 30 and 40 pounds a week." "Yes, well, you just have to take what's going, don't you?" "Well, here we are." "We got the larger bed in." "Oh, the new chest of drawers hasn't come." "There's somebody else who's let me down." "Well, it all looks very nice..." "We can put some of Victor's things in the airing cupboard for the moment." "Will you help me take some of those sheets and things out, love?" "You see, you can't rely on anybody these days." "They promise to deliver and then they let you down." "Take it or leave it." "That's their motto these days." "These people!" "Oh, Victor, would you mind not smoking in the bedroom?" "Anywhere else in the house, by all means." "Oh." "Ingrid?" "You see those curtains in the bathroom?" "Well, you remember Mr Baxter, who used to live next door but one?" "He's got a store on the market now, you know." "Has he really?" "Yeah, and when I was down there the other afternoon, he said to me, "Mrs Rothwell, you would be a fool to yourself" ""not to have this four yards, all reduced."" " They look nice, don't they?" " They look very nice." " I thought, "Well, makes a change."" " Mm." "Good morning." "Small loaf, please." "Small loaf." "Yes, thank you." "Any cakes this morning?" "Packet of Eccles cakes, please." "Eccles cakes, yes." "Any Swiss rolls?" "Chocolate?" "Assorted?" " Oh, the chocolate, please." " Chocolate, yes." " The children won't eat the assorted." " Thank you." "Did well last week, then, first team." "Yeah, terrific." "Micky Patterson's back on form, in't he?" "He'll be up against something this afternoon." " Yeah." " Blackburn Rovers." " You're going down, are you?" " Well, I'm hoping to." "I saw a lovely maternity frock in Lewis's window." "Do you mean that one I told you about?" "Yes, I think I'll go and get it this afternoon." " Yes, love, you go and get it." " I like the blue-and-white one best." "Oh, you've got up at last, have you?" "What's up?" "It's only quarter past nine." " Good morning, Victor." " Morning." " Behave yourself." " There's a letter for you." "I'll just go and run over that new carpet, and if that mark hasn't come out, it's going back." "And listen, Mr Faddy-Chops," "I've timed these eggs especially for you this morning." "Four and a half minutes each so don't say that's too hard." "Get away." "You don't know how to cook eggs." "Hey!" "Rub it, man!" "Rub it!" "Put a bit of elbow grease into it!" "And don't forget the corners!" "There and there." "Oh, put a bit of life into it, man!" " Who is she talking to?" " The window cleaner, I expect." "You don't talk to people like that." "Lazy, idle, slovenly, and then they have the cheek to come round for a Christmas box." "My mam's sent me two tickets for the Town Hall concert." "Shall we go, then?" " Oh, I don't know." " Why?" "What is it?" "Brass band concert." "My dad's playing." "Only I usually go when I can." "Will it be like the last one we went to?" "Hm?" "What do you mean?" "Well, you know." "It's all old-fashioned, in't it?" "Well, you don't expect them to play the top ten, do you?" "No, but I mean it's more for elderly people." "They were all clomping about in big boots when we went." " What's boots got to do with it?" " Well, you know." "My dad's playing." "Look, it won't hurt you to go." "Crikey, I sat through that picture with you last week." "I went to that last one with you, Vic." "You don't expect me to go to every one, do you?" " Look, are we going or aren't we?" " When is it?" "It's a fortnight tonight." "I don't know." "We might want to go somewhere else." "You've got to make sacrifices when you're married, Victor." "Give and take." "Yes, well, I don't see what that's got to do with it." "Well, we're going anyway." "'Good evening, Mr Frost." "You are a commercial traveller, I believe?" " 'And you are from Eltham, right?" "' - 'Enfield, actually.'" "'Enfield?" "Oh, you are perfectly right, perfectly right." "'And you are a commercial traveller 'and your hobbies are gardening and looking at people." "'Do tell me, Mr Frost, what exactly do you mean 'by this "looking at people"?" "'" " 'Well, I look at them...'" " You see, it's not right." "The picture shouldn't keep going bright like that." "I thought Mr Mathieson had been round to fix it." "I'm sick of Mr Mathieson." "I've poured that much money into his shop and if you complain, all he can do is answer back." "I'm not surprised he answers you back, the way you talk to people." "It's the only way to deal with these people, Victor." "What do you mean, these people?" "What do you keep calling 'em "these people" for?" "Just the same as us." "They're just the same as you." " Oh, don't start, Vic." " You don't understand, Victor." "You don't see them holding the country to ransom." "I mean, take the busmen. 18 or 20 pounds a week they must be getting." "You what?" "Well, look at the miners and the railwaymen." "They want more wages so the fares keep going up and up." "They haven't the sense to see that it's them who's putting up the cost of living." " They hold the country to ransom." " Don't talk so damned wet, woman." " Vic!" " Who do you think you're talking to?" "Ah, she makes me sick." "Got no idea what she's talking about." "I'm sorry, Mum." "I'll go and talk to him." "If you speak to my mother like that again, there'll be trouble." "Well, there'll be trouble, then, 'cause I've just about had enough of it." "Well, you might show a bit of respect for her." " After all, this is her house." " Oh, don't I know it?" "Don't put your ash over there." "Don't sit on that cushion." "You shouldn't drop your ash all over the place." "Ah, shut up." "I don't know what the hell's come over you, Ingrid." " You get more like her every day." " Vic!" "I tell you straight, I didn't bargain for this bloody lot when I offered to marry you." "And there's no need to swear." "She's enough to make the bloody vicar swear." "She's always wittering." "And you're just the same." "You never back me up, do you?" "You let her say just what she likes." "You never think of siding with me, do you?" "I never used to fall out with my mother and I won't start now." "No, we know." "She is my mother, Vic." "Yes, and I'm your husband, if you did but know it." "Perhaps you're sorry you married me." "There's no "perhaps" about it." " See you, Vic." " OK." "Of course, with a family, you will be entitled to the allowance." "Yes, I have been to the personnel department and I haven't heard anything." "You take my advice, you'll put it to Mr Althorpe." "You'll find him very fair, very fair indeed." " You think so?" " Oh, yes." "The management are always willing to listen to the new draughtsmen." "Are they?" "All right, then?" "Come along, Catherine, now." "It's time to come in." "Come on." "There's a good girl." "Bring your bicycle." "I'm locked out." "You don't know where they've gone, do you?" "They've gone to the hospital." "It's not antenatal day." "But surely..." "It's Ingrid." "Yeah?" "They've taken her to the hospital." "She's had an accident." " But surely someone's told you?" " What accident?" "But didn't her mother ring you up?" "It was just after two o'clock, love." "She fell down the stairs." "Come on, Catherine." "There's a good girl." "He didn't know anything about it." "Hey, stop!" "Can you give me a lift to the hospital?" "Yes, yes, hop in." "Thanks very much." "I wish she'd never set eyes on you." "Keep her in for another week or two under our observation..." " ...and then if she doesn't get on..." " Can I help you?" "Yes, my name is Brown, Victor Brown." "I'm looking for Ingrid Brown." "Oh, yes, I want to speak to you, Mr Brown." "I'll see you later, Nurse." "I'm Dr Parker." "I've just left your wife." "How is she?" "She's not had a very comfortable afternoon, I'm afraid." "She's lost a lot of blood." "We had to give her a transfusion." "But she's going to be all right." "I'm sorry about the baby." "I'm afraid we couldn't do anything to save it." " Can I see her?" " I'd rather you didn't tonight." "Her mother's just left." "I'm afraid she wasn't very good for her." "She's trying to get some sleep now." "I can't understand why you didn't come earlier." "I was at work." "I didn't know." "Didn't your wife's mother telephone you?" "I'd be the last person she'd think of telling." "Well, you can visit tomorrow evening at seven." "Is there anything you'd like me to tell her?" "Just tell her not to worry." "I mean about the kid." "I couldn't get used to the idea of being a father, anyway." "It's ten past seven, you know." "We'd better be going, if we're going." "Oh, I don't mind if we miss the news." " I like your slip." " Do you like it?" "It's nice to get something to fit me again." "I thought we were in a hurry." " Mind my dress, Vic." " Oh, bloody hell." "How long is this going on, then?" "Don't mind me, will you?" "I've got no feelings." "Oh, Vic." "You'll have to snap out of it some time." " What do you mean?" " Well, what I say." "You can't act up on the strength of your miscarriage forever." "I'm not just putting on an act, Vic." "Well, maybe you don't know it, but I think you and your mother have put you in the frame of mind where you think you're still poorly." "I'm getting a bit fed up with it." "You're always thinking about yourself." "You never consider me, do you?" "Well, damn it all, it's about time I could make a pass at you without feeling like a dirty old man." "If that's all you think of, you'll just have to show a bit of willpower, won't you?" "It's been three months, Ingrid." "I've waited for three months." " Very noble and kind." " And what does that mean?" "I don't have to thank you for doing what any normal husband would do, do I?" "Well, no, you don't." "But it seems I've got to go down on my bended knees to get you to do what any normal wife would do." "Oh, where's your self-control, Vic?" "Oh, don't give me that again." "I don't understand you, Ingrid." "I tell you straight, I'm just getting fed up with this lot." "I was all for making the best of it, but if we're married, we're married." "I don't just intend to be the lodger." " Are you there, Ingrid?" " Where the hell does she think you are?" " Hello." " Evening, Victor." "Hello, love." "Eeh, the time I've been, getting home." "The people waiting for buses." "Well, I thought you'd have gone out and I've have missed you." "You going to try your coat now, love?" "Coat?" "What coat?" "You've got ten bloody coats." "What are you always making her buy coats for?" "They've altered the buttons and they've shortened it a bit." "We're supposed to be saving up to get out of this bloody hole, not buying coats every ten minutes!" "Try it on, love." "More of an emerald green in this light, isn't it?" "It is, really." " Suits you, though." " It's got a lovely lining too." "I've always wanted a coat..." "Put it away, you mucky devil." "You'll get me shot." "Stick us a gill in there." " Where did you get that from, then?" " Friend of mine at the seaside." "Thanks." "Oi!" "Which one have I got to press to get my money back?" "Do you mind?" "Yes, love?" "Just a minute, love." " Half a bitter." " Get nothing there, old son." "Where did you spring from?" "Just back in my old haunts for a few days." " What are you drinking?" " Half a bitter for me." "Two half bitters, please." "How are you, then?" "Still pushing the old pencil?" "That's about it." "Hey, what about you?" "I'm in business now, old son." "They're trying to make a salesman out of me." "Get around a bit." "Bags of expenses." "Just up my line." " You, er... on your own, then?" " Yeah." "Haven't you found any talent tonight?" "I'm a bit past that." " Past it?" " Yeah, I'm married." "I might have known it." "The married ones all drink on their own." "Well, they've got good reason to, I tell you." "You want to try it some time." "Try it?" "I've been trying it for two years." "Finished my sentence and walked out, packed it in." "I didn't know you were ever married." "I'm not now, thank God." "Course, I got married too young." "That was my trouble." "Still, you can always get out of it if you don't leave it too long." "It's the blokes with kids that I feel sorry for." "They're stuck with it." "Yeah." "Hey, you didn't get hitched to that blonde you were knocking about with down at the works, did you?" "Yeah, I did." "Ha-ha-ha-ha!" "Well, well." "Well, I can see we've got to snap you out of it." "What say we go off on a pub crawl?" "That sounds like a bloody good idea to me." " Knock that back and we'll be off." " Right." " I've got a car outside." " A car?" "There she is, then." "What do you think of her?" " Where did you knock this off?" " Bought it, sweat of my brow." " How long have you had her?" " About a couple of months." "You jammy devil." " Get in then." "We haven't got all night." " Right." "They close at half past ten, you know." "Hey!" "I know this one after all." "No, this is about the penguin." "Well, a fellow went into a garage, you see, so he says to the attendant, "How big's a penguin?"" "The attendant says, "Well, he's about this big."" "He says, "Oh, bloody hell." "I must've run over a nun."" " Here, another one for you." " Another one?" "Aye, another one." "Fellow went into a chip shop." "Now, just a minute." "Now, wait a minute." "Now, let me finish." "Now, let me just speak." "You see, we are very fortunate of having one of the very few sitting members with a first-class brain." " Wrap up!" " He's as dim as a Toc H lamp." "No, no, no!" "He's got a good brain." "Common Market." "Now, listen, about this Common Market." "Right, five year ago..." "no, ten years ago..." " Ten year ago, yeah." " ...we should be in it." "All this shillyshallying around, I'd make a better MP myself." " Now, you will not, now..." " I will." "Now, then, lads..." "Oh, belt up!" "You don't know what you're talking about." "Ah, shut it!" "Go home to your mother!" "Come on, let's hear your side of the story!" "Give a man a bloody chance!" "Here we come!" "Go on, let us come in!" "Well, bloody well come in, then!" " # Down by the riverside... #" " Everybody sing!" "# Down by the riverside, down by the riverside" "# I met my little bright-eyed doll down by the riverside" "# Down by the riverside" "# She said "Have patience, little man and I'm sure you'll understand" "# "I don't even know your name"" "# I said, "If I can have my way, if I can have my way" "# Down by the riverside..." "Come on, come on!" "# My little bright-eyed doll" "# Down by the riverside" "# I wed my little bright-eyed doll" "# Down by the riverside" "# Down by the riverside!" "#" "There's no need to wake the street up." " In..." "Ingrid in bed, is she?" " In bed over an hour." "Where I should have been, if I hadn't had to sit up and wait for you." "Oh, yeah?" "Do you know what time it is?" "It's ten to 12." " Yes, ten to 12." " Mm." "We'll wait on your convenience, don't we?" "We'll wait until His Lordship decides when to come home." "Home?" "Do you call this my home?" "I haven't even got a key." "You don't call this my home, do you?" "I'm just a lodger, that's what I am." "When you've got a home of your own, you can do as you please." "But I expect people who stay in my house to accept my standards." "Can you see me getting a house?" "I can't even rent one, let alone buy one." "Not the way she spends it, buying coats all the time." "Huh!" "They don't call me Rockefeller, you know." "I don't own Dawson Whittaker's, you know." "No, and you don't own this house and you don't own Ingrid either!" "I married her, didn't I?" "And bloody glad she was to have me." " Must you swear?" " I feel like swearing." "I've felt like swearing ever since tea time." "I don't know how you can come into the house in that condition." " There's no decency in you." " I had enough decency to marry her." "Yes, after you'd seduced her." "Do you think I had to tie her down?" "If it hadn't have been me, it'd have been somebody else." "How dare you?" "How dare you say such filthy disgusting things?" "You filthy upstart." "You come into the house drunk, filthy drunk." "You're filthy." "You talk filth." "You are filth." "You're filth!" "You filthy pig." "You filthy disgusting pig!" " Oh, Mother!" " Don't cry, love." "Don't, love." "Don't cry, love." "Ingrid?" "Ingrid!" "Ingrid!" " Go away!" " I want Ingrid!" "I want my wife, do you hear me?" "Send her out!" "Please, Vic, go to bed!" "Come out, you bitch!" "I'll bloody strangle you!" "Please, Vic!" "What the hell are you playing at?" "Victor!" "Listen." "Ingrid is not leaving this room tonight!" "Right, you old cow!" "You've done it!" "You've done it now." "Hm?" "Hello, Vic." "Do you want to come in?" " More tea, Vic?" " No, thanks." " Sure?" "Christine?" " Mm-mm." "Well, I'd better go and get dressed." "You needn't go." "You might as well hear it all." "No, I have to go anyway." "I know you want to talk to Christine." "I've left her." "Oh?" "What brought this on?" "That bloody woman." "Everything." " Was it the miscarriage?" " Well, among other things." "You know she didn't even phone me when Ingrid fell downstairs?" "And she blames me." "Well, after that, things just got worse and worse." "Anyway, I told her." "I said, "I may not be good enough for your daughter," ""but I was good enough to marry her when she was in trouble."" "Well, you got her into trouble, Vic." "I know." "I wish to God I hadn't." "Chris, I wish I could have met somebody like you, someone who'd make me better than I am, not worse." "But you didn't only marry her just because of the baby, did you?" "Course I did." "It doesn't happen to everyone, you know, like you and David." "I thought it was like that at first... but it didn't last for very long." "Well, I'll have to be honest with you, Vic." "You've only yourself to blame." "If you hadn't played about with that girl, you wouldn't be in this state." "Right's right and wrong's wrong." "You sound like my mother." "Well, you're married, aren't you?" "You can't just dismiss the fact." "Yeah, I'm married, all right." "You all made sure of that." "There wasn't one of you said, "Don't do it if you don't want to."" "It wasn't a case of wanting to or not wanting to." "You made the decision when you did what you did with Ingrid." "I don't know what to say to you." "I could always talk to you." "You could always understand better than the others." "Well, I can't just wave my magic wand and make it all come right." "You thought you could come and tell me all about it and everything would be fine, just like it was before you were married." "That's it, isn't it?" "Well, I'm sorry, Vic." "It can't be done." "I know." "Well... we can put you up on the couch for a few days, anyhow." " Morning, Mrs Brown." " Morning, Mrs Cole." " Nice dry day." " Yes." "Hello, Mum." "Aye, I heard you were skulking about." "Well, I don't want to talk to you till you're back with that lass." "You've changed sides, haven't you?" "Your Ingrid thinks a lot about you." "But you've never cared a tuppenny damn about anybody but yourself since the day you married her." "Have you ever thought what it means to a woman to lose a baby?" "What's she got now?" "She's got nothing." "So, don't you come to me for sympathy." "Now, lad..." "I've just been down home." "Oh, did you see your mother?" "I bet she gave you short change, didn't she?" "Yeah." "Well, what are you gonna do, then, lad?" "Can't live at our Christine's forever." "I'll not go back to Windermere Crescent again, I know that." "Who says she'll have you back?" "Who, Ingrid?" "Probably she wants a divorce." "Isn't that the best thing all round?" "What for?" "Well, it amounts to this." "Do you want to stay married or not?" "I don't want to stay married to her mother." "To hell with her mother, Victor." "Cut yourself off." "Get yourself right away from that woman." " Where can we go?" " Oh, anywhere." "Get a flat." "Live in a bloody tent if you've got to." "I'll tell you something, lad." "When I was first married, I'd have lived in yon pig pen over there before I'd have lived with her mother." "It's not as easy as that." "There aren't all that many places about." "You know what Ingrid's like." "She wants a semi like her mother's." "She won't just live anywhere, you know." "She'll live where she's bloody put." "You'd look a right clown if she wouldn't have you back, wouldn't you?" "It's better than the last place we looked at." "Do you think so?" "There's a shared bathroom." "That's the only snag." "We could make something of it." "Let's go, Vic." "You want to take it, don't you, Vic?" "Beggars can't be choosers, can they?" "Well, what I mean is..." "I mean, you want to take it because it means we can be together." "I reckon we ought to give it a fair try, just the two of us." "We might be chucking pots at each other inside a couple of months, but at least there'll be nobody to blame but us." "We've had a rotten six months, haven't we?" "Yeah." " Vic?" " Mm?" "All that time, you know, when I didn't want you to make love to me... well, I did want you to, really." "But it never seemed right somehow, while we were living at home, while we were living at my mother's." "You know you're going to have to stand up to her, don't you?" "Yes." "It's ages since we were up here together." "It's getting a bit cold, though, isn't it?" "We never used to worry about that before." "Supposing somebody comes?" "Well, we're married, aren't we?"