"♪ [percussive beat plays] ♪" "Are you ready?" "I said, are you ready?" "Then come on, bitches, get your tens!" "Walk for me!" "Bring it to the runway!" "NOW!" "♪ Come on, girls!" "♪" "♪ Come on, girls!" "♪" "♪ Come on, girls!" "♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪ Everybody move it ♪" "♪ Like you're about to lose it ♪" "♪ Shake your butt now ♪" "♪ Little bit on the floor now ♪" "♪ Take a step for mama ♪" "♪ We've had it with your drama ♪" "♪ No period, no comma ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor... ♪" "♪ I am recommending ♪" "♪ No more condescending ♪" "♪ No rules left for bending ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor And we'll mop it up ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor Fill our loving cup ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor And it's gonna be ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor All eyes on me ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor... ♪" "Bradley Darnell Lyle!" "[loud knocking]" "If you don't drag your sorry bronkie ass out here in real time, right now... [knocking]" "I'm a beat you like you stole something." "Fuck, momma!" "Don't "fuck momma" me!" "I'll "fuck momma" you, all right!" "I'm coming!" "You think I enjoy being on neurontin?" "You think I love my seizures?" "You think I enjoy having you drive me from point A to point B'?" "Damn!" "Show me some courtesy!" "Courtesy'?" "I'll show you South Central." "Why you always busting on me'?" " What the hell you up to, boy'?" " Stop!" "Move out the way." "Just reading the damn news." "Don't think I don't know the power of the back button." "C'mon, mama." "(voice on computer) ...the world's best gay porn site..." "Your father would have killed himself if he hadn't done so already." "Well, it's a good thing he ain't here then." "Get off my shit before I" "Before you what'?" "Before you fuck me up?" "[laughs]" "Get off..." "my shit, bitch!" "Is that the way you speak to the one who raised you'?" "I give what I get." "Uh uh..." "I won't have none of this, or this gay shit in my house." " Get out!" " What?" "You heard me." "Now get your shit." "Think you can just erase me?" "You can kick me out, you can say I'm dead to you, make me live on the damn street." "But I'll never be gone." "You hear what I'm sayin?" "What's the last thing you want to say to me before I walk out that door?" "You're a loser." "Always have been, always will be, right?" "♪" "Brad!" "You can't take my car!" "Watch me!" "♪ Lost my sister when she was six ♪" "♪ Anything that's broke is something I can't fix ♪" "♪ I'm an empty bag in a bag of tricks ♪" "♪ I'm a loser ♪" "♪ Lost my job at the shopping mall ♪" "♪ Lost my cherry down in Juvy Hall ♪" "♪ Why stand up when you know you'll fall'?" "♪" "♪ I'm a loser ♪" "♪ Ain't no way for a man to exist ♪" "♪ My whole life's one big cease and desist ♪" "♪ But there's one thing that you may have missed ♪" "♪ It's just another check ♪" "♪ On the loser's list ♪" "♪ It's just another check ♪" "♪ On the loser's list... ♪" "♪ Poppa hung himself in county jail ♪" "♪ Momma always telling him that he would fail ♪" "♪ There's no way a guy like him could prevail ♪" "♪ He was a loser ♪" "♪ I lost my apartment when I couldn't pay rent ♪" "♪ Just another step in my long descent ♪" "♪ Certain circumstances I could never circumvent ♪" "♪ Yeah, I'm a loser ♪" "♪ It's a wonder I can even subsist ♪" "♪ I think on my feet and I act with my fist ♪" "♪ Anybody else would need a little assist ♪" "♪ But for me it's just another check ♪" "♪ On the loser's list ♪" "♪ It's just another check ♪" "♪ On the loser's list ♪" "So what's your name?" "What's yours'?" "I'm Brad." "Folks must call you Bad Brad." "Why's that'?" "I don't know." "I guess it just suits you." "Yeah..." "So, where you going later?" "♪ Living ain't so easy ♪" "♪ Just can't get it right ♪" "♪ Wonder how I'll make it through another night ♪" "♪ So make sure your money is in your plain sight ♪" "♪ I'm a loser ♪" "Hey!" "♪ I think by now you get the gist ♪" "♪ I'm just a little scammer ♪" "♪ I just can't resist ♪" "♪ Most people cannot handle fate ♪" "♪ That comes with a twist ♪" "♪ But for me it's just another check ♪" "♪ On the loser's list ♪" "Excuse me." "Back up." "Thank you." "$25 after 12." "Back up." "So what are you walking?" "Sex siren'?" "What?" "Never mind." "Go inside, have fun." "Welcome." "♪ It's just another check On the loser's list ♪" "(MC, to the beat) Feel the motherfucking beat!" "She came to battle." "Would you like to battle her?" "Would you like to battle?" "Someone like a ninja." "I really see ya." "She really, really voguing?" "Is she rough for you'?" "Is she hot for you'?" "Are you gonna make me show it?" "She came to be pussy." "P-U-S-S-Y." "Bitch!" "Are you gonna make me go, bitch?" "Are you gonna make me know it?" "Judges!" "Do you see it'?" "It's a chop." "It's a chop." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Thank you, Boo!" "Can I see the next one'?" "Come on, come on, come on, vogue!" "Give it to me, give it to me, girl!" "Are you gonna make it cunty?" "Are you really cunty?" "Are you really poncy?" "Are you gonna make me know it?" "Will you really show it?" "Cunty?" "Cunty?" "Cunty?" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Does she make you know it, judges?" "Ka - ka - ka!" "I think we have a winner!" "Do what you came for!" "Judges!" "It's tens across the board!" "Tens across the board, ladies and gentlemen!" "Give it up for the motherfucking House of Allure!" "Next category:" "Executive Realness." "I wanna see your your briefcases and your proposals, darlings." "Bring it to the floor!" "We've got the first one!" "Are you really real?" "He's giving you realness." "He's giving you motherfucking realness." "There's some fine-assed niggaz in the house tonight!" "Uh!" "What house you with?" "Fendi?" "Gucci?" "Kors?" "I'm not with any house." "Oh!" "A ball virgin!" "Hmm..." "I'll call you Fresh Balls!" "(MC) I wanna see Devil's Advocates." "Lemme see your shiny Cole Haans, and the creases in your pants." "Yes!" "Work those pleats!" "Do you see it'?" "Oh!" "Oh!" "It's a chop!" "Thank you very much." "Can I see the only two people who got their tens back to the motherfucking floor!" "Let's have a battle!" "It's a motherfucking battle!" "It's a motherfucking battle!" "It's a motherfucking battle!" "So, let me orientate you." "Over there, the reigning House of Allure." "Who's that'?" "Christina Allure." "The Queen Bee." "She's all..." ""it's so exciting to meet me."" "And every houses walks in almost every category." "There's Glamazonians..." "House of Klein." "Our last names are our house names." "It's elegant." "(MC) Give him a round of applause." "Thank you very much." "Who are they'?" "Oh, those are my bitches." "The ball community's biggest losing streak... the House of Eminence." "Queef Latina, the reigning Queen of the House of Eminence." "She hasn't walked in years," "Legend in her own head." "The next category is vintage prom princess." "High school divas to the runway!" "So what's the point'?" "A bunch of fucked up bitches strutting on the runway, for bowling trophies'?" "What's the point'?" "What's the point'?" "Honey, look, listen, and learn!" "♪ Old way, new way, runway queens ♪" "♪ Male, female, and in betweens ♪" "♪ Get your tens, you label whores ♪" "♪ Drop me, chop me, perfect scores ♪" "♪ Suitcase, women's face, bitches up in pumps ♪" "♪ Sex siren, Lordy Byron gives me goosebumps ♪" "♪ But if there's one thing you can't dismiss ♪" "♪ it's...it's...it's the Ballroom Bliss ♪" "♪ Banjy boys, designer's delite ♪" "♪ Shade and snatch with all your might ♪" "♪ Work it, feel it, mop it, peel it ♪" "♪ Make your statement ♪" "♪ Don't conceal it ♪" "♪ Serve it, turn it, then reveal it ♪" "♪ Bring it Butch Queens up in drag ♪" "♪ You go zig while I go zag ♪" "♪ Seal it with a chocolate kiss ♪" "♪ it's...it's...it's the Ballroom Bliss ♪" "That's my daughter!" "Ooooh!" "Who's that'?" "Don't shit your pants, sugar." "She is not worth it." "Know her'?" "Know her'?" "I hate that bitch." "Carter." "♪ Over, under ♪" "♪ Up, beside ♪" "♪ Leg it, twitch it ♪" "♪ Open wide ♪" "♪ Kick it, click it ♪" "♪ Flick your wrist ♪" "♪ You'll find your stride ♪" "♪ Cunty's what I feel inside ♪" "It's a battle bitches, you decide..." "Kittycat, kittycat, CAT!" "Does she want to win'?" "Do the girls go in'?" "She's feeling cunty." "Really, really, really cunty!" "Get in, get in, get in, get in..." "You do know she has a penis, don't you?" "Get it, Carter..." "All right, all right!" "This is definitely runway, honey." "Are we in Milan?" "Are we in Paris'?" "Is it 1980?" "Can I get one at a time?" "Go, Carter!" "W000!" "I!" "Is this really a battle'?" "Come and work these judges." "All right!" "Judge number one." "Can I get one?" "Can I get two?" "All right." "Two-zero." "Can I get three?" "All right." "Three-zero." "Can I get four?" "Can I get a four-zero?" "And make it complete." "All right five-zero." "Category closed." "No!" "Oooh!" "This shit is rigged!" "Figures." "The grand prize winner is Mistress Hailie." "Lemme see Sex Siren!" "Military style, in or out of uniform." "And I think they're in the building." "Can I see the first one?" "Is he really, really sexy?" "All right!" "Ah..." "Tens across the board!" "Whoa!" "Where you running off to?" "You're gonna miss this next category." "Sta)'" "(MC) He came to win." "Sexy, sexy, sexy!" "All right, now!" "Sexy, sexy, SEXY" "♪ Maybe I'll win if I just persist ♪" "♪ Maybe I'll get a slap on the wrist ♪" "♪ Once you've been fucked ♪" "♪ You can never get kissed ♪" "♪ Work it, feel it ♪" "♪ Mop it, peel it ♪" "♪ Serve it, turn it ♪" "♪ Then reveal it ♪" "♪ It's just another check ♪" "♪ On my loser's list ♪" "Oh..." "Yeah!" "That's that sexy body right there, honey." "That's body all day, but is he sexy?" "So this house of yours has a bed?" "Well, look at you, moving all fast and shit." "What's your name?" "Princess Eminence." "I don't know if I've ever kissed a princess before." "♪ Ballroom bliss ♪" "♪ The loser's list ♪" "♪ Ballroom bliss ♪" "♪ On the loser's list ♪" "♪ Ballroom bliss ♪" "♪ The loser's list ♪" "♪ Ballroom bliss ♪" "You all live here'?" "Nope..." "Just the outcasts, freaks, and temporarily displaced." "[chuckles]" "Omon." "This way." "Nah." "This ain't right." "What's wrong?" "You don't want a nice, warm body up against you tonight?" "[knocking on bed]" "What it do?" "Can't you see we're trying to sleep?" "Yeah, girl." "What it do'?" "I'm sleeping for two, mind you." "Go back to sleep." "Brad, y'all met each other at the ball." "This here is Duke Eminence." "He's royalty, honey." "Eppie Durall, also of the House of Eminence." "Like that shit they give you when you're about to have a baby'?" "Yes, ma'am!" "The natural Way's for fools." "This bitch thinks she got a uterus or something." "So are you gonna like have an operation or something'?" "Now why would I need two pussies?" "[all chuckling]" "But mark my words..." "I am gonna pop out some kids and have a family of my own, you'll see." "You planning on shooting those fools out of your ass'?" "Who cares, as long as I get my pain meds'?" "What it do'?" "If I had a quarter for every time you all said "What it do?"" "Honey, it ain't just an expression." ""What it do?" It's a way of life." "Something tells me you've seen "The Lion King"" "one too many times." "You heard that!" " You tired'?" " Yeah." "He staying over'?" "Yeah." "He can't stay here, Princess." "There ain't no room." "Besides, you know what Queef would say." "She'd go, "There ain't no stray men--"" "There ain't no stray men allowed in my house." "Is that what I'd say'?" "Uh..." "Princess, may I have a word with you'?" "Your guest can wait outside." "Outside'?" "Mmm hmm." "Go on." "Look at my face!" "Does it look like I'm in any mood'?" "Go on." "Kitchen, girl!" "[claps hands]" "Ea t, girl." "Seem' your bones again." "Now, you ready for my question?" "Yes, mother." "Did you get your tens tonight'?" "I'm sorry'?" "Did you get your tens'?" "Why you go asking me that when you already know the answer?" "Don't make mother ask you again." " No." " No, what'?" " No, Mother." " And?" "And what'?" "The correct answer is," ""No, mother, I didn't get my tens tonight, because I was kee-keeing with my Judys, and chasing the mens."" "You're just jealous because you don't even remember what it's like to walk." "It's OK;" "the body forgets." "Don't comfort me, girl." "Answer me." "I wasn't chasing no mens." " Really?" " No lying," "You had a man lying in your bed and you lying to my face right now." "Seems like a lot of lying going on." "You got this all wrong." "Excuse me'?" "She was just recruiting me..." "Miss Queef." "Ma'am." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Were you talking to me'?" "I was glistening." "Glistening'?" "Gay listening." "You know, when you're talking to one man and you see another over his shoulder, but you're not really paying attention to what the first one has to say." "Glistening." "Didn't I tell him to wait outside?" "It's my fault." "Just wanted to try and clear this mess up..." " Miss Queef." " Miss Queef'?" "What are you'?" "Some Koreatown grocer'?" "Miss Queef'?" "It's Queef Latina when I'm all up in it, or Franklin or Mother at other times." "But never ever Miss Queef!" "Besides..." "glistening here!" " I'm sorry." " I should say so." "You ain't you got no place to stay'?" "No Ma'am." "My Mom" "Oh save it with "my mom" stories." "We all got one." "I do not trust this man." "He's harmless, and hot, mind you." "What do you want with my daughter?" " Your daughter'?" " It's just a figure of speech." "Oh, OK, I thought you was saying, like, you was married or" "I ask the questions here." "Oh, just tell him." "Well, I am married, if it's any business of yours." "No ring?" "It's pending." "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." "Let him stay!" "He can sleep on the couch." "This house is for serious walkers only." "Not for some candy-assed, Sex Siren wannabe." "You think he can walk Sex Siren'?" "Hmmmph." "Frankly, I think that's all he can do." "Well, give him a chance." "You want a roof over your head'?" "You have to earn it." " He's only got his car." " Then the car it is!" "It's cool." "Go on!" "I'm sorry to disturb you." "That's right." "Eat." "I'" "♪ Taught myself to be ♪" "♪ Strong as can be ♪" "♪ Holding on to my dignity ♪" "♪ Walk into a room ♪" "♪ Can't help but hold my head high ♪" "♪ I can read a book off its page ♪" "♪ Throw a little shade from the stage ♪" "♪ Look a million making minimum wage ♪" "♪ But I'm weak at the knees ♪" "♪ When I'm with you... ♪" "♪ I'm willing ♪" "♪ To dial back a little ♪" "♪ I'm willing ♪" "♪ To be a tad noncommittal ♪" "♪ I'm willing to wait ♪" "♪ I've circled the date ♪" "♪ Of the next time I'll see your face ♪" "♪ Once again... ♪" "♪ I remember when we first met ♪" "♪ It's a moment I can't forget ♪" "♪ You smiled at me ♪" "♪ And my whole world just got smaller ♪" "♪ Oh, the nights when ♪" "♪ You took me out ♪" "♪ Roll the window down and shout ♪" "♪ "That's the stuff I'm talkin' 'bout" ♪" "♪ You're the light ♪" "♪ In the darkest of worlds ♪" "♪ I'm a lucky girl ♪" "♪ Yes, I'm willing ♪" "♪ To wait a bit longer ♪" "♪ I'm willing ♪" "♪ To be a bit stronger ♪" "♪ I'm willing you, dear, ♪" "♪ That you'll reappear ♪" "♪ And treat me like the Queen that I am ♪" "♪ Once again... ♪" "Sign in." "Put the time right there." "What time is it'?" "Do I look like a clock'?" "Visitation's almost up." "Who you here to see'?" "Caldwell Jones." "Caldwell Jones'?" "Heh, heh, heh..." "What's that supposed to mean'?" "I'm just surprised that someone actually came to see him that ain't got an esquire after their name." "I'm here every week." "Well, I'll be good goddamned." "Now how could I have missed you'?" "Caldwell Jones is the sweetest person you'll ever meet." "Besides, if we all followed our heads instead of our hearts, you'd be plum out of a job." "You're late." "Ain't never been a ball that started on time..." "You know what I'm sewn"?" "So what's the T, babydoll'?" "No!" "Ain't gonna be none of that babydoll shit, OK'?" "Everything OK'?" "Yeah." "I'm gettin' out in two more weeks, you know what I'm sewn"?" "Time's gonna fly by before you know it." "Bitch, you ain't never done time before, or else you'd know different." "Sorry." "It's cool." "I ain't even mad about that." "Six months... and it all comes down to fourteen days." "Two more weeks." "Then you're all mine." "No, baby..." "In two more weeks, you're all mine." "I'" "♪ Every time ♪" "♪ I take a look in your eyes ♪" "♪ Just a little part of me dies ♪" "♪ It's a thought that I can't disguise ♪" "♪ But I keep coming back here for more ♪" "♪ Tell me, honey, ♪" "♪ When you look into my face ♪" "♪ ls there something else in its place'?" "♪" "♪ Other than a smile filled with grace ♪" "♪ It enrages you ♪" "♪ When it should be engaging you... ♪" "♪ Yet, I'm willing ♪" "♪ To carry on like before ♪" "♪ I'm willing ♪" "♪ To be the one you adore ♪" "♪ I'm willing to try ♪" "♪ To keep the shine in my eye ♪" "♪ If you treat me good ♪" "♪ I won't be misunderstood ♪" "♪ Just be sweet to me like you should... ♪" "£82..."" "IWilling... ♪" "Hey!" "Let's go." "You coming'?" "Coming where'?" "Does it matter'?" "Wherever we're going's gotta be better than here, right'?" "Let's go." "Move it." "Here you go." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "So, why aren't you doing me'?" "I'm not doing anybody." "God, don't tell me you're one of those slow movers." "You should be doing me, that's all I'm sayin'." "Now why is that'?" "'Cause I got a future." "I'm going places." "Future what'?" "Don't try it." "I've got skills most bitches only dream about." "Like what'?" "Like I can move." "And better than that," "I can teach others how to move." "Like one of them striptease teachers?" "Striptease teacher'?" "I swear that when I get that Legend trophy," "Justin Timberlake will be calling me to choreograph his next video." "[laughs] Yeah, um hmm." "Laugh now, but you'll be eating my stuff later." "L-low is Justin Timberlake gonna know about you'?" "Everybody's gonna know about me." "I have a plan." "♪ Now see, Justin is everything!" "♪" "♪ I love his butt, his clutch, ♪" "♪ His lips, his hips ♪" "♪ Just wait till he sees all of this ♪" "♪ I know he can't resist ♪" "♪ Nothing will be sweeter ♪" "♪ Sweeter at all ♪" "♪ You watch ♪" "♪ My life will change the very second Justin calls... ♪" "♪ Look at how I roll ♪" "♪ I got your attention ♪" "♪ In complete control ♪" "land I ain't afraid to mention ♪" "♪ Take a tip from me ♪" "♪ The words from above ♪" "♪ This is my decree ♪" "♪ And it fits me like a glove ♪" "♪ 'Cuz I prayed to Saint Peter ♪" "♪ I prayed to Saint Paul ♪" "♪ I may not rule the world ♪" "♪ But Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ 'Cuz I prayed to Saint Peter ♪" "♪ I prayed to Saint Paul ♪" "♪ I may not rule the world ♪" "♪ But Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call, yeah ♪" "♪ He's gonna call ♪" "♪ He'll ring, he'll text ♪" "♪ He'll bust right through the wall ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call, yeah ♪" "♪ He's gonna call ♪" "♪ Don't look perplexed ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Get up, prepare ♪" "♪ Wait a minute ♪" "♪ Lemme fix my hair!" "♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Just you wait and see ♪" "♪ Fix your, fix your face, girl ♪" "♪ Don't be mad at me ♪" "♪ 'Cuz I prayed to Saint Peter ♪" "♪ I prayed to Saint Paul ♪" "♪ I may not rule the world ♪" "♪ But Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ 'Cuz I prayed to Saint Peter ♪" "♪ I prayed to Saint Paul ♪" "♪ I may not rule the world ♪" "♪ But Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call, yeah ♪" "♪ He's gonna call ♪" "♪ He'll ring, he'll text ♪" "♪ He'll bust right through the wall ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call, yeah ♪" "♪ He's gonna call ♪" "♪ Don't look perplexed ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Seven nights a week ♪" "♪ When I think about all my mens ♪" "♪ Boris Kodjoe gets me wet ♪" "♪ Shemar Moore weakens my defenses ♪" "♪ And a hot DL Thugboy ♪" "♪ Just gives me a good old cleanse ♪" "♪ But nothing will prepare me ♪" "♪ Prepare me at all ♪" "♪ For the way I'm gonna feel ♪" "♪ When Justin calls ♪" "♪ And when he do ♪" "♪ It's true you'll view ♪" "J" " My big... ♪" "♪ My big, my big debut ♪" "♪ I'm sure as shit ♪" "♪ I feel it in my slit ♪" "♪ My sexy, funny, filled with money ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call, yeah ♪" "♪ He's gonna call ♪" "♪ He'll ring, he'll text ♪" "♪ He'll bust right through the wall ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call, yeah ♪" "♪ He's gonna call ♪" "♪ Don't look perplexed ♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "IYeah!" "♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "IYeah!" "♪" "♪ Justin's gonna call ♪" "I' [cell phone ringing]" "See?" "Hello'?" "Uh..." "Hi, Mamma Queef." "[laughs]" "Punk-assed bitch!" "Your mamma a bitch!" "[clang of bowling ball striking pins]" "Shoe man!" "Shoe man!" "Now, Eppie Durall, you play nice." "Fuck that shit." "They better have my shoes." "Size 12, extra wide." "Saved 'em for ya." "Ooh, my future husband." "Marry me now so we can start having my kids." "Looks like you already started without me." " Ooh, Daddy." " Why are we bowling?" "You do realize I'm a former NCAA champion, don't you'?" "Work it, bitch!" "[laughter]" "NCAA, huh'?" "Yeah, Nigga Challenged As an Athlete!" "[laughter]" "Carter, right'?" "Bad Brad." "L-low much you get from me'?" "L-low much did you get from me'?" " You first." " No, you first." "Same time." "(both) Forty dollars." "Well, I guess we're even." " I guess." " Here's your wallet." "Here's your little purse." "What's the goo goo ga ga, bitches'?" "This meeting is now called to order." "Duke!" "NOW!" "OK, listen up." "What is he doing here'?" "Let him stay." "I didn't ask you." "I wanna walk Sex Siren." "Really?" "You think it's that simple'?" "You think you can waltz right in here and bleed talent?" "You besmirch all the names that came before you." "Oh, Mother, don't be so dramatic." "It's like you're living in a movie where you get to say all the best lines." "IAM living in a movie where I get to say all the best lines!" "And don't think for a minute" "I didn't plan for the word "besmirch"" "to come screaming and rolling off my tongue." "Come on!" "I just wanna get drunk off his junk!" "I mean, look at his bubble butt!" "I wouldn't know about such things." "My sweet husband is coming home in two weeks, y'all." "And this guy...um..." " Brad." " Brad here." "If he's so for real, why isn't he walking for me'?" "Mother has no time for conversation." "Get it started!" "Mmm hmm..." "He's got the Dayum factor." "Back off!" "He is mine!" "Are you for real'?" "It's not good, right'?" "Let's put it this way." "Willie Ninja would be headspinning in his grave." "God rest his soul." "Um hmm." "Teach me then." "I'm here to learn from the best." "Aren't you the smooth one'?" "What makes you think you are worth my time'?" "I did not win 17 titles, 36 exemplary ribbons, and a mention in BLK magazine by just sittin' on my ass!" "Fan off your pussies, ladies." "We have two weeks until the Imperial Mini Ball and I want to see trophies on that mantel." "Somebody get me an oil can because my lady is rusty." "I wanna see someone from Eminence walking in every category." "Check off your specialties, people." "Ivy League Schoolboy." "Wall Street Executive Realness." "And Open To All Runway With A Gaga Twist." "We all know which category has my name on it..." "Motherfuckin' Face." "[fingers snapping]" "There's still shopping, sewing, and bedazzling to be done, and we are going into this ball with honor and respect." "Are we clear'?" "(all) Yes, Mother." "Good." "Any questions'?" "Emma." "So, what happens if I go into labor during the ball'?" "[laughter]" "If that happens, honey, get me a tent, because that means frogs have come down from the sky and I need protective shelter." "[laughter]" "Any other questions'?" "Yes'?" "Why y'all have your meetings here'?" "Excuse me'?" "You can't bowl, so..." "Why you all come here'?" "Listen, Mr. Man Candy." "You need to look at the world with a different eye." "Here you may see a humble bowling alley." "But not us." "Can I get a beat, please'?" "[percussive beat]" "♪" "♪ When you're sitting in a setting ♪" "♪ That doesn't quite sit right with you ♪" "♪ When you're flitting and forgetting ♪" "♪ You've got a different point of view ♪" "♪ It's befitting that I'm betting ♪" "♪ You would all get in a stew ♪" "♪ But when you find yourself in a place... ♪" "♪ That's not exactly a perfect space... ♪" "♪ You simply do a quick about-face ♪" "♪ And knock the motherfukkas down ♪" "♪ Knock the motherfukkas down ♪" "♪ Knock the motherfukkas down [repeats] ♪" "♪ Knock the mothers down, down, down, down ♪" "♪" "♪ If you're dejected it's expected ♪" "♪ You will cry a little while ♪" "♪ But when affected I've detected ♪" "♪ You must force a smile ♪" "♪ To stay connected and respected ♪" "♪ And retain your sense of style ♪" "♪ It's best to take a breath of fresh air... ♪" "♪ And hold yourself with flash and flair... ♪" "♪ Add a heap of devil-may-care ♪" "♪ And knock the motherfukkas down ♪" "♪ Knock the motherfukkas down ♪ [repeats]" "♪ Knock the mothers down, down, down, down ♪" "♪ Down, down, down, down, down, down... ♪" "♪ Feast your eyes upon the man over there ♪" "♪ Too much product in his hair ♪" "♪ And his "Please look at me!" wife ♪" "♪ It's a low rise, butt-cracked life, honey ♪" "♪ l-low 'bout the girl with the hoops ♪" "♪ In capri pants with droops'?" "♪" "♪ Take a gander at the homie with his thugs ♪" "♪ On their cellies, moving drugs ♪" "♪ They cut faggots like us for a dollar ♪" "♪ It's enough to make you wanna holler ♪" "♪ Now close your eyes for me ♪" "♪ Imagine the possibility ♪" "♪ If you look less carefully ♪" "♪ Then I guarantee you'll see ♪" "♪ An adoring audience for free ♪" "♪ [rhythmic clapping] ♪" "♪ If you wanna be a Sex Siren of this town ♪" "♪ Oil that body up and pull your pants way down ♪" "♪ This is your new life now ♪" "♪ Wipe off that sorry-assed frown ♪" "♪ Hold the trophy in your hand ♪" "♪ And with a B-Boy stance ♪" "♪ You'll snatch the crown ♪" "♪ And knock... ♪" "♪ Say what'?" "I" "♪ I said KNOCK, KNOCK!" "♪" "♪ Knock what'?" "I" "♪ Knock the motherfukkas down [repeats] ♪" "♪ Knock the mothers down, down, down, down ♪" "♪ Knock the motherfukkas down... ♪" "♪ Knock the mothers down, down, down, down ♪" "♪ Just hold your head up in the air ♪" "♪ No looking at your feet ♪" "♪ Cross your arms from here to there ♪" "♪ Just pay attention ♪" "♪ Baby, I swear ♪" "♪ You're gonna knock the motherfukkas down ♪" "♪ Down, down down, down, down... ♪" "♪" "If you're expecting to have a prayer of getting into this house, you're gonna have to work for your supper." "And no sex with nobody, you hear'?" " Yeah." " Promise me." "I promise." "Sweet Jesus, I have a feeling" "I'm gonna regret knowing this guy." "♪ [music stinger] ♪" "Boo!" "[laughing]" "Oh, no!" "You should have seen your face!" "L-low did you get in here'?" "As Mother always says, any girl can lick cocks, but it takes a special one who can kick locks, all right'?" "You know, you can get what you want if you know what you want." "I just thought you might be wanting some private lessons." "Come on, you gotta put some effort into it." "I am!" "All right." "Let me see it." "Okay, that sucks." "You gotta lead with your dick." "Like this..." "Nice." "[both chuckling]" "Brother's got potential." "Oh, man." "Hands above your head." "Hot." "Not." "I wanna show you something." "Sure." "This is beautiful." "How'd you find it'?" "Excuse me'?" "Another person here." "Hello." "You really wanna hear about my shitty life'?" "Howl sometimes come up here and think about ending it'?" "Whoa!" "Did you bring me up here to have a pity party'?" "I thought this was a date." "Besides, why would you wanna ruin a perfectly good sidewalk'?" "This is how this is gonna work." "We'll vibe for a while." "And it'll be feeling good." "We'll be hanging out, spending nights together, and you'll be thinking you're really feeling me or something." "All flowers and shit sprouting from your mind." "Next thing, you know you're thinking we married, some house in Baldwin Hills with a big, nasty dog circling the yard, keeping us safe 2417." "That ain't the way it is." "Oh, no'?" "Some fucked up thing will happen, or I'll mess you up." "Or one day, I'll just come up here and..." "You know what I'm sewn'." "Sugar, you know what your problem is'?" "Your mind is racing way ahead of your body, and you ain't got nobody to look after you." "So hear me out." "♪" "♪ Don't jump, baby ♪" "♪ It's a bad slump, maybe ♪" "♪ A kiss from me would set you right ♪" "♪ You've had a tough run, honey ♪" "♪ Your tank is low on funny ♪" "♪ Your halo musta lost its light ♪" "♪ Don't look down, sweetie ♪" "♪ Let's formulate a treaty ♪" "♪ Promise me you'll stay up here ♪" "♪ I prefer you living ♪" "♪ Death is cruel and unforgiving ♪" "♪ It messes with the atmosphere ♪" "♪ Some say my hips are like a snake, it's true ♪" "♪ I slither, rattle, quiver, and I shake for you ♪" "♪ Who could resist ♪" "♪ When you're right in the midst ♪" "♪ Of my beauty'?" "♪" "♪ That's right ♪" "♪ You're drawn to me ♪" "♪ Gone to me ♪" "♪ Almost a pawn to me ♪" "♪ I insist ♪" "♪ Ooh, that this ♪" "♪ ls your duty ♪" "Whatever you say." "Good." "♪ Cuz I say... ♪" "♪ Don't jump, baby ♪" "♪ It's a speedbump, maybe ♪" "♪ The road is gonna clear up now ♪" "♪ It's our time, lover ♪" "♪ The moment to discover ♪" "♪ The truth inside our hearts somehow ♪" "♪ If I stay here, deary ♪" "♪ I'm a little weary ♪" "♪ Things will turn from bad to worse ♪" "♪ At the risk of sounding cheery ♪" "♪ Take a listen to my theory ♪" "♪ You'll never look good in a hearse ♪" "♪ You'll say my outlook is too dark ♪" "♪ Likely my bite is worse than my bark ♪" "♪ Oh, I'm damaged, it's true ♪" "♪ Got more baggage than you ♪" "♪ I'm pathetic ♪" "♪ Ooh... ♪" "♪ It's an easy way out ♪" "♪ It's the end, there's no doubt ♪" "♪ No more sadness ♪" "♪ Nothing but gladness ♪" "♪ But it'd just be my luck ♪" "♪ I'd hit that and get stuck ♪" "♪ And be forced to continue life's madness ♪" "♪ Then don't jump... ♪" "♪ Don't jump... ♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪" "♪ Then don't jump, baby ♪" "♪ OK ♪" "♪ I won't jump, maybe ♪" "♪ I'll find myself another view ♪" "♪ That's exactly what you'll do ♪" "And together we'll get through somehow ♪" "So, do I win'?" "Win what'?" "The Battle for Brad." "There's a battle'?" "You think I don't notice Princess grinding every which way up on you'?" "She ain't you." "Good..." "'Cuz I'm here to tell her, "Back off girl, that's my man!"" "And what's she gonna say back'?" "Congratulations." "[drum cadence]" "♪" "[cell phone ringing]" "Hello'?" "Hello'?" "Who's answering my phone'?" "Three guesses..." "And it ain't Timberland or Lil' Wayne." "Is this Brad'?" "Thank goodness you found my phone." "Can you bring it over'?" " Right now?" " Yeah." "Um, Queef's not home yet, and a shower would do you good before tonight's ball." "I mean, it don't bother me none, but you gotta know Carter does not like it ripe." "Still trying to get me naked, huh'?" "Come around back." "And bring my cell!" "'Cuz Justin might call'?" "Bitch!" " HEY." " HEY." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "Hurry up, y'all." "We're gonna be late for tonight." "Now is this one too matronly?" "Too matronly?" "You wanna have a child, girl'?" "There ain't no such thing as too matronly." "I say go all slutty if you wanna pull it off." "Pull it off?" "I'm a win this bitch, honey!" "Mama's home." "Hey, Mama." "Where's Princess'?" "Dayum." "You hiding a respirator under there'?" "Why's that'?" "Because I think I just forgot how to breathe." "So..." "Carter, Carter, Carter." "Yes." "Look, I know you're all sweet on Miss Perfect and everything, but, really, what are you getting out of it'?" "Some tongue'?" "A little oral, maybe'?" "It's none of your business." "You're right." "I forgot about her gag reflex." "And she's a spitter." "Trust." "You're scary." "Uh huh." "Yeah." "And you're a man with needs." "And I like to help the needy." "No sex." "Remember'?" "I promised." "Of course." "No sex..." "Just a little tension release." "You know... think of it as a, uh... a lap dance... with benefits." "We won't talk about this when we're done." "We won't talk about it now." "Just shut up, and let me do this." "That Brad ain't nothing but trouble." "I can sense these things, OK'?" "This coming from someone who got themself a man who does time after time after time'?" " Oh!" "She tried it?" " She tried it." "Maybe I'm just dangerously in love." "Maybe you're just dangerously a fool." "[moans]" "Princess'?" "Princess, open this damn door now!" "[knocking]" "Don't make me ask you again!" "Break it down!" "Do what'?" "Break it down!" "Ugh..." "Again!" "I hurt my shoulder." "Giving birth will hurt more." "Push!" "Push!" "Damn!" "Girl, we've been hollering for you." "We're just getting ready in here." "What'd you have the door locked for'?" "Move!" "You promised me!" "I swear we ain't do nothing." "I can smell her all over you." "She ain't you!" "Ain't that what you said'?" "She ain't you!" "You're a loser!" "I should have let you jump." "You're probably right." "The House of Eminence isn't a place for trash." "Good, because this trash was tired of feeding the roaches around here anyway." "Going somewhere'?" "We're leaving." "See how you do without the best of the best." "See how you do without a roof over your head." "And we'll be just fine." "Princess, Queef..." "Let's just all work this out." "Girl, you can't leave." "Princess, we need you." "We do'?" "I don't recall saying that shit." "You know what your problem is'?" "You don't let people be human." "And you know what your motherfucking problem is'?" "You're not much of one." "Fuck you, bitch!" "We're leaving." "No!" "Queef, tell her you're sorry." "Just tell her that you're upset." "Mama, we can't lose her." "This is my house!" "We do what I say!" "You brought all this upon us." "You ain't been nothing but bad news ever since you brought your sorry black ass up in here." "Get outta my house!" "Oman Brad." "Don't be sad, girl." "When you're chopped, you're chopped." "Let's go, Brad." "So where we gonna go now'?" "Don't you worry about that." "Princess always has a backup plan." "Come on now." "Get your boots back, ladies." "We have a ball to bang." "[driving beat]" "(MC) This is Imperial!" "Bitches to the floor!" "First category of the night is," "Schoolboy Realness." "Anybody's walking." "Girl, I feel you." "Now don't you spend another second thinking about him." "He's bullshit, you're Beluga." "I love you." "I love you too." "Now put your face on, and let's go get those motherfucking tens." "♪" "♪ Will someone save me ♪" "♪ From myself, please'?" "♪" "♪ From being the world's greatest ♪" "♪ Unsolved mystery ♪" "♪ Feel like I'll never love another ♪" "♪ As it hurts my soul ♪" "♪ So I'll crawl back inside ♪" "♪ Of my dark and lonely hole ♪" "♪ Stone me I" "♪ Hang me I" "♪ Pump me full of lead ♪" "♪ If you never had love ♪" "♪ Then you're better off dead ♪" "♪ Another falling star ♪" "♪ In her long descent ♪" "♪ Let her vent I" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "(MC) Schoolboy realness!" "Do you see it, judges'?" "Is it tens across the board'?" "Let's go from the House of Eminence." "Schoolboy Realness." "All right." "Do you see it, judges'?" "Three chops." "Excuse me'?" "Get out of here and close the door!" "Oh, hell no!" "That was some fine Schoolboy Realness there." "Eppie, back off!" "Back off'?" "They can't chop him." "What did I teach you'?" "Hold your head up high and walk away." "Walk away." "Go on." "Hold on." "What's wrong with you people'?" "That was some fine" "Motherfucking-get- your-head-out-your-ass," "Schoolboy Realness here!" "You need to start respecting my children." "♪ [rap beat plays] ♪" "♪ It's a rough course ♪" "♪ If you let it get to you ♪" "♪ That's some deep shit, kid ♪" "♪ What can I do'?" "♪" "♪ With a knife in your back, you better watch it, son ♪" "♪ Twist that shit tight ♪" "♪ And it might just hurt you some ♪" "♪ Ain't got no luck when you're stuck ♪" "♪ And like a hole in a bucket ♪" "♪ Fuck it ♪" "♪ They can all suck it ♪" "♪ You can just tuck it ♪" "♪ Keep messin' with my mind ♪" "♪ And I might just get destructive ♪" "♪ I'm Caldwell ♪" "♪ Keep your held held high ♪" "♪ You can fly if you try ♪" "♪ I don't know why ♪" "♪ But a dime says you can ♪" "♪ And the man upstairs ♪" "♪ He got a plan ♪" "♪ 'Cuz I don't give a damn ♪" "The House of Glam!" "Schoolboy Realness..." "Baby!" "Look, everybody!" "My baby's come home to me." "Nice to see you too, bitches." "Come here, girl." "You got it for your man'?" "No, not here." "They're all watching." "Next category of the night, is Runway Open To All With A Gaga Twist." "If you're feeling it, bring it to the runway now." "Go get those motherfucking tens, girl." "I am in it to win it." "With a Gaga Twist!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "With a Gaga Twist!" "With a Gaga Twist!" "With a Gaga Twist!" "Do you see it'?" "Do you see it'?" "Do you see it'?" "Do you see it'?" "Sorry, baby, the whole panel chopped you." "Get outta here and close the door!" "With a Gaga Twist." "That's the last time I try to be creative." "I'll be right back, baby." "I'm a get something to drink." "OK." "Duke, get me out of this!" "♪ You don't know where I've been ♪" "♪ You don't know where I'm going ♪" "♪ You don't know how I feel ♪" "♪ You don't know what I'm knowing ♪" "♪ You can judge what I've done ♪" "♪ Judge what I do ♪" "♪ But there's always another judge ♪" "♪ Looking down at you ♪" "♪ You can call me a DL ♪" "♪ You can ask me to repent ♪" "♪ But you can never ♪" "♪ Understand ♪" "♪ l-low I vent ♪" "♪ My lament!" "♪" "♪ I've always been unlucky in love, you see ♪" "♪ It's just a bitter bit of my history ♪" "♪ So many people have been so cruel ♪" "♪ And the men treat me like a fool ♪" "♪ Let me vent I" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "Tonight it's Sex Siren." "So if you're a sexy motherfucker, bring it down to the runway now." "Sexy, sexy." "That sexy, cowboy." "Sexy, sexy, SEXY" "Sexy, sexy, SEXY" "♪ And if you're bent you can vent ♪" "♪ But like an agent I'm a take my 10 percent ♪" "♪ 'Cuz I'm tired of your bullshit ♪" "♪ When you're filled with torment ♪" "♪ I'm spent ♪" "♪ You hear me'?" "♪" "♪ I'm spent ♪" "♪ And to the extent ♪" "♪ I voice my dissent ♪" "♪ I'm gonna always represent ♪" "♪ Always my lament!" "♪" "♪ I've always been unlucky in love, you see ♪" "♪ It's just a bitter bit of my history ♪" "♪ So many people have been so cruel ♪" "♪ And the men treat me like a fool ♪" "♪ Let me vent I" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "Next category of the night is" "Club Kid Face." "If you're feeling it, bring it down the mother fucking runway now!" "♪ I've always been unlucky in love, you see ♪" "♪ It's just a bitter bit of my history ♪" "♪ So many people have been so cruel ♪" "♪ And the men treat me like a fool ♪" "♪ Let me vent I" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "Take it to the back." "It's time to motherfucking battle down." "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament... ♪" "Grand Prize, the House of Eminence." "No, no!" "Hold on." "The category is closed." "No, it isn't." "Trust." "I'm worth the wait." "OK." "Well, to the back, bitches." "[driving beat plays]" "Let's go." "Battle with the sistahs." "Face!" "Face!" "Battle with the sistahs." "It's Face, Face!" "Battle with the sistahs." "It's Face, Face!" "Battle with the sistahs." "Ooh, Bitch Battle." "It's all about you, isn't it'?" "Face consists of the teeth." "Face consists of the skin." "Face consists of the nose." "Face consists of the chin." "Face!" "Who do you see'?" "Who do you want'?" "Who do you want'?" "One!" "TWO!" "Three!" "Grand Prize, the one and only Face Diva!" "So what house are you walking for'?" "Only the reigning motherfucking House of Allure." "Allure!" "Allure!" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪ [screams yelling]" "Stop, bitch!" "Carter!" "Stop it!" "Get off!" "Stop!" "I don't give a shit!" " We ain't done yet'?" " Oh, really'?" "Stupid fucking..." "Come on!" "Come on!" "May I have a word with you'?" "Can't you see your woman is asking for you'?" "Listen!" "I do what I want when the fuck I want to!" "And you and nobody else is gonna tell me any different." "I can't believe you want to throw all this away." "Whatever..." "You know I can walk up to any one of these dudes and get a bed for as long as I need." "Then that's where you'll be sleeping." "It's over!" "You don't deserve me!" "By the way, did he tell you about the warts that he got in jail'?" "[Snaps fingers]" "What the fuck'?" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "♪ This is my lament ♪" "Ooh, my dogs are tired." "Tired'?" "You got chopped in three seconds." "Your dogs never woke up." "Remember, I'm walking for two now." "You do realize you're a man, right'?" "Oh, hush." "He ain't coming back." "Haven't you figured that out by now'?" " You ended it." " Mind your own business." "All right, but somebody has to tell you how it is." "Well, it ain't gotta be you now, does it'?" "This is all just coming from my heart." "The same heart that fell for a man who ain't no different'?" "No thank you." "Mother knows best, I guess." "I just figured we could commiserate." "Commiserate?" "Now there's a three-dollar word." "Are you OK'?" "Don't ask me, and I won't ask you." "What time is it'?" "Too late to look, too early to matter." "Thanks again for this, Christina." "You're welcome." " Goodnight." " Goodnight." "She got you pretty good, huh'?" "Yeah." "Am I gonna need stitches'?" "Nah." "It's just a little cat scratch." "What?" "What?" "Why you looking at me like that'?" "I'm not looking at you like anything." "Good." "Cuz, everything I touch turns to shit." "Then what'd you touch my face for'?" "You calling me shitface?" "Look... just don't fall for me, know what I'm sewn"?" "I'" "♪ If you find you're thinking about me ♪" "♪ You should turn and walk away ♪" "♪ 'Cuz I'll make you cry ♪" "♪ And you won't know why ♪" "♪ You'll be hurt before the end of day ♪" "♪ I'm just not sure what I'll do with you ♪" "♪ One minute up the next one down ♪" "♪ Then you will turn and say ♪" "♪ Bitch, get up out my way ♪" "♪ It's just a matter of time ♪" "Naw, babe, that ain't it." "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ When a push can turn into a shove ♪" "♪ Call the cops ♪" "♪ Or write the Gov ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "It's just black love'?" "It's just what'?" "Nigga, what the fuck you talking of'?" "Now see, you pulling shit right out of your own butt about this thing called black love." "I'" "♪ I used to love the way he touched me ♪" "♪ Safe in his arms at night ♪" "♪ His breath upon my neck ♪" "♪ Gave my cheek a little peck ♪" "♪ It was just bliss until the morning light ♪" "♪ But now his hands are curled up tightly ♪" "♪ The simmer's turned into a boil ♪" "♪ Nobody gets the rage ♪" "♪ Of a black man that's at his age ♪" "♪ Trying to stake his claim upon this soil ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ There are bruises covered by a glove ♪" "♪ There are pressures coming from above ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ I thought I finally found my prince ♪" "♪ One kiss and he became a frog ♪" "♪ But still I pursue him ♪" "♪ Stick just like glue to him ♪" "♪ We need a way to feel like we belong ♪" "♪ l-low can I get this across'?" "♪" "♪ Most folks don't understand ♪" "♪ There's love in a slap ♪" "♪ In a kick, in a punch ♪" "♪ There's love in the back of a hand ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ Ain't no Valentine or cooing doves ♪" "♪ Sure ain't the fairy tale that I dreamed of ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "It's just black love'?" "Naw, nigga, it's just black." "♪ It's just my luck ♪" "♪ I'd meet a man who'd rather sing than fuck ♪" "♪ If you don't make a move I'd say we're stuck ♪" "♪ There ain't no love ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ It can sometimes end up being rough ♪" "♪ Even kisses are a little tough ♪" "♪ It's black love ♪" "Jesus, I've had enough!" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ Black love is what I choose ♪" "♪ Something tells me that I'm gonna lose ♪" "♪ Ain't like it'd ever make the news ♪" "♪ How I love ♪" "♪ How I love... ♪" "♪ Black Love ♪" "I don't know about this." "About what'?" "About this..." "going deep." "Honey, I don't do deep." "I'm the fun on the way to deep, right'?" "So we cool'?" "God only knows what you see in her, but..." "Whatever." "No flowers'?" "Is Carter here'?" "She don't wanna see you." "I just wanna apologize." "I really screwed this up." "I just wanna do right by her." "Well, take some motherly advice then." "You can't apologize without a little something in your hands." "What it do'?" "I like you." "I don't know why, but..." "Me, Carter and Duke, we're heading to the Quick Mart in about half an hour." "Beat us there, and buy her something!" "I don't think they have flowers at the Quick Mart." "Get her candy, cigarettes." "Buy her a Slim Jim!" "Who cares'?" "As long as you got something in your hands, nigga!" "Eppie!" "Now!" "Ooh, shit, gotta go!" "Delivery for Carter Eminence." "Any one of you Carter Eminence'?" "Isn't this the legendary House of Eminence'?" "You got the wrong address." "Sorry." "Nobody here by that name." "Let's go, Duke." "Carter." "Carter, I'm sorry." "You one sorry-assed nigga is what you is!" "Let's go, Duke!" "[horn beeping]" " I want to make it up to you!" " l-low'?" "You planning on fucking Princess in front of me next time'?" "If that would turn you on!" "Work your magic, baby!" "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry'?" "I'm a buy you some Funyuns and a Fanta when we get to this Quick Mart." "How'd you know where we was going'?" "You know you want some Funyuns and a Fanta!" "Funyuns!" "Funyuns!" "Funyuns!" "Funyuns!" "[horns honking] [loud crash, glass shattering]" "Fuck!" "Shit!" "You all right'?" "Eppie all right'?" "Eppie, are you OK'?" "Eppie!" "Wake up, Eppie!" "Eppie, Wake up!" "What do I do, Carter'?" "Shut up!" "Get her out the car!" "Come on." "Get her out the car!" "Come on!" "Wake up." "Wake up!" "[all yelling hysterically]" "Call an ambulance!" "[sirens wail]" "I'm just gonna need to see some identification." "Thank you." "Be right back." "You all OK'?" "Do we look like we're OK'?" "I know what it's like" "You know what, exactly'?" "Everything was just fine until you showed your ass up!" "That's what you know!" "Sir?" "I need to talk to you about your vehicle." "What about it, man'?" "Nothing happened to my car." "Your car'?" "It ain't yours, son." "[siren wails]" "Lyle..." "You got a visitor." "Hmm..." "Beautiful day out there." "Perfect for running around." "I got my nails dinged..." "Just like Rihanna." "You know, it's just one of those days where you could just do whatever." "I wouldn't know." "Oh, yeah, that's right." "You come here to rub this in my face'?" "I come here because that guard over there has put you in a position in which I finally get my way." "You are a captive audience - literally." "So listen up, boy, 'cuz I don't feel like repeating myself." "I dropped the charges, but I ain't rescuing you no further." "I got my car back... and that's all I need." "And I'm moving in with LeDon, so there ain't no room for you, even if I wanted you..." "But I don't." "I feel better now." "♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ It's just black love ♪" "♪ When the Holy Father from above ♪" "♪ Cannot save the one I'm singing off" "♪ And all that is left ♪" "♪ All that is left ♪" "♪ All that is left... ♪" "♪ ls black love ♪" "♪" "I stand before you... to celebrate the life and joy... of my friend, Eppie Durall." "She was a pure soul, filled with a sense of wonder and discovery." "And I will always..." "I will always miss her." "With all due respect," "I won't have any more of this." "His name was Shawn." "OK'?" "Sir, I didn't mean any disrespect." "I think otherwise!" "His name was Shawn." "You got that'?" "Shawn..." "My boy." "♪" "♪ Shawn was born on the 4th of July ♪" "♪ Independence Day, no lie, no lie ♪" "♪ Twenty-two years later, who'd think he would die'?" "♪" "♪ Not I, not I, not I ♪" "♪ One day he said to me ♪" "♪ "I'm in the wrong skin" ♪" "♪ I didn't listen to him ♪" "♪ I'm not proud of what I did ♪" "♪ I threw him out ♪" "♪ I'd take it back if I could ♪" "♪ But he ran, he ran, he ran ♪" "♪ His name is Shawn ♪" "♪ And now he's gone ♪" "♪ He's gone, he's gone, he's gone ♪" "♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪ You gotta get what you can ♪" "♪ While the gettin' is good ♪" "♪ Gettin' is good, gettin' is good ♪" "♪ Cuz it's all gone away ♪" "♪ Like I knew that it would ♪" "♪ I knew that it would ♪" "♪ She played her card ♪" "♪ My heart is scarred ♪" "♪ She's gone, she's gone away ♪" "♪ Duane was born my brother ♪" "♪ The oldest of four ♪" "♪ When he told me the news it did more than annoy ♪" "♪ Couldn't celebrate, I wanted to destroy ♪" "♪ That boy, that boy ♪" "♪ His given name is Duane, he brought us pain ♪" "Again, and again, and again ♪" "♪ He said, A book's more important ♪" "♪ Than my own flesh and blood ♪" "♪ Own flesh and blood ♪" "♪ Flesh and blood ♪" "♪ I extended a hand ♪" "♪ He said, It might cause a flood ♪" "♪ It might cause a flood ♪" "♪ He said he'd pray that my soul would pay ♪" "♪ Oh, I didn't stay, I didn't stay, I didn't stay ♪" "♪ Oh, Jack did the best that he could ♪" "♪ He said, I'm misunderstood, intentions are good ♪" "♪ Give me a chance, Mama, to do as I should ♪" "♪ He begged, he begged, he begged ♪" "♪ His name is Jack, If I could take it back ♪" "♪ Lord, I would, I would, I would ♪" "♪ I tried to be the best man like you wanted me to ♪" "♪ You wanted me to, they wanted me to ♪" "♪ It wasn't the plan I could not follow through ♪" "♪ Could not follow through ♪" "♪ They tried to sway, I went astray ♪" "♪ I've gone, I've gone away ♪" "♪ Our child brings us shame ♪" "♪ He's easy to blame, he's easy to blame ♪" "♪ He spits in our faith then he changes his name ♪" "♪ A shame, a shame, a shame ♪" "♪ What he became, what he became ♪" "♪ A shame, a shame, a shame ♪" "♪ Oh, I was tossed in a dumpster ♪" "♪ When I was a child ♪" "♪ No folks to disappoint, left to grow wild ♪" "♪ To keep from going crazy and acting riled ♪" "♪ I smiled ♪" "♪ No one to blame, didn't change my name ♪" "♪ They were gone, they were gone... ♪" "♪ Gone!" "Yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ He ain't coming back ♪" "♪ No, I don't want him back ♪" "♪ If I could take him back ♪" "♪ He best watch his back ♪" "♪ Ooooh!" "♪" "♪ He's gone!" "♪" "You have a lot of nerve coming here." "You're the reason why she's in that damn casket." " I just wanna pay my respects." " You wanna be respectful?" "The best thing you can do is leave." "I need to be here." "Oh, I didn't know today was "What Brad Needs" day." "What are you gonna do about it'?" "Do you really want to challenge my ability to go diva all up on your ass'?" "Can I have your attention, please'?" "This is the guy that out our friend's life short." "Can I see a show of hands who'd like to see him gone'?" "Go on!" "Go on!" "Queef?" "I am done with this!" "What are you looking at?" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪ You gotta get what you can while the gettin' is good ♪" "♪ Gettin' is good, gettin' is good ♪" "♪ 'Cuz it's all gone away like I knew that it would ♪" "♪ I knew that it would ♪" "♪ His name is Duane ♪" "♪ His name is Jack ♪" "♪ His name is Franklin ♪" "♪ His name is Shawn ♪" "♪ His name is Christopher ♪" "♪ His name is Jermaine ♪" "♪ His name is Randy ♪" "♪ His name is Levonne ♪" "♪ His name is Jamie ♪" "♪ His name is Derek ♪" "♪ His name is Terrell ♪" "♪ His name is Ron ♪" "♪ His name is Shawn ♪" "♪ His name is Shawn ♪" "♪ Her name is Eppie!" "♪" "♪" " His name is Shawn" " Her name is Eppie!" "♪" "♪" "♪ Or it'll all go away ♪" "♪ If we don't learn to get along ♪" "♪ They're gone ♪" "♪ They're gone ♪" "♪ They're gone ♪" "♪" "♪ [rhythmic clapping] ♪" "♪" "♪" "♪ The walls will start to crumble ♪" "♪ The atom splits ♪" "♪ Nothing stands to reason ♪" "♪ Nothing fits ♪" "♪ It's the darkest season ♪" "♪ It's time for me to quit ♪" "♪ And I'm the loser ♪" "♪ It's the end of the line ♪" "♪ I can no longer persist ♪" "♪ Can't think of any reason ♪" "♪ Why I should still exist ♪" "♪ It's my final chapter ♪" "♪ Class is dismissed ♪" "♪ It's the last damn check ♪" "♪ On my loser's list ♪" "Don't!" "I had a feeling I'd find you here." "Nowhere else to go but further down." "I'd have to disagree." "I think you've already hit bottom." "You can only go up." "I'm sorry." "I know." "Come down and let's talk." "Princess and I..." "That was just a fling." "She ain't all bad." "She just wants it all now." "You're the more patient kind." "If it's worth waiting for." "What's done..." "is done." "We can't go back and change it now." "But I saw how you tried to save her." "I saw how much you cared." "I just want what she wanted." "Me too." "♪" "♪ I know I did you wrong... ♪" "♪ Did you wrong... ♪" "♪" "♪ I know I'm not perfect ♪" "♪ And sometimes I wish life had instructions ♪" "I got nothing to say to him." "Can we talk?" "Ain't we talked enough?" "Just hear him out." "Fine..." "It's your dime." "You're not leaving because of me, are you'?" "Don't flatter yourself." "Sometimes you just have to know when it's time to let it go." "You know, I figured something out about Eppie, and her crazy baby stories." "She just wanted us to be a family." "You are working my last gay nerve." "You been hanging around" "Tyler Perry sets too long or what'?" "Oh, I'm sorry, were you saying something'?" "I was glistening." "Seriously..." "You come into my world, turn it upside down," "And now you think you can just come back into my house and sprinkle some fairy dust and all of a sudden it's I BELIEVE I CAN FLY time?" "No..." "But it's a start." "Wm Good evening, bitches!" "We're bringing it back from the dead." "I want to see candy for the eye on the floor, because it's Halloween, and this is the Tuck or Treat Ball!" "Our first category this evening is Armed and Drag-erous." "Thug Realness?" "I wanna see you locked and loaded on the floor!" "Judges, do you see it?" "Is it tens?" "OK, you've been chopped." "Next time, next time." "This is what I'm talking about!" "The real thugs are in the building." "Is it tens across the board?" "It's a ten, ladies and gentlemen!" "Do you see it?" "It's tens across the board!" "Do we have anybody else walking?" "Do you see it?" "Do you wanna fucking see it?" "It's tens across the board." "So, are we gonna get past this'?" "Am I hearing an apology?" "About as close as you're ever gonna get to one, yeah." "Come here, girl." "That's better." "Now, more importantly, how do I look?" "Are we off to see the Wiz?" "If I only had a heart..." "But I'm sure you're looking for a brain." " Bitch!" " Uh huh." "Is he real?" "Is he real?" "Is he real?" "Do you have something to say to me'?" "Congratulations." "Not bad!" "Not bad!" "I said, are you ready for the next category'?" "From the motherfucking House of Glam," "Prince of Persia!" "All right!" "The definition of Sex Siren..." "Is it sexy body'?" "Representing the mother fucking House of Glam." "All right." "It's the House of Allure!" "I present to you " "Undead Hos and Gigolos." "Allure!" "New Way!" "The New Way!" "The Legendary Way!" "The New Way!" "The Legendary Way!" "It's The New Way!" "2011 Way!" "Allure!" "Allure!" "Allure!" "Allure!" "Ladies and gentleman, may we all bow down in praise!" "Queef Latina is back on the ballroom scene." "I'" "That's my daughter!" "♪" "Queef Latina is a Legend!" "Watch and learn!" "Is the motherfucking Sex Siren in the motherfucking building'?" "From the House of Eminence, the Legend," "Miss Queef Latina." "I'" "Queef Latina is back in the building." "Do I see tens'?" "Is it ten'?" "Ten'?" "Ten'?" "Ten'?" "Tens across the board!" "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Eminence!" "Eminence!" "Eminence!" "Eminence!" "I'm so proud of both of you." "Shit, I ain't do nothing." "Just got led around by a chain on my neck." "Don't try it!" "The way you were shaking that ass." "[laughter]" "Ladies and Gentlemen." "The Los Angeles Ballroom scene is back!" "The runway is ours!" "♪ Come on, girls!" "♪" "♪ Come on, girls!" "♪" "♪ Come on, girls!" "♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪ Everybody move it ♪" "♪ Like you're about to lose it ♪" "♪ Shake your butt now ♪" "♪ Little bit on the floor now ♪" "♪ Take a step for mama ♪" "♪ We've had it with your drama ♪" "♪ No period, no comma ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor... ♪" "♪ Come on, girls... ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor... ♪" "♪ If it's us you're wanting ♪" "♪ Baby, then we're flaunting ♪" "♪ This house is ripe for haunting ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor ♪" "♪ Every seconds counting ♪" "♪ Pressure is mounting ♪" "♪ Take a good accounting ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor... ♪" "♪ Come on, girls... ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor... ♪" "♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor And we'll mop it up ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor Fill our lovin" cup ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor And it's gonna be ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor All eyes on me ♪" "♪ I am recommending ♪" "♪ No more condescending ♪" "♪ No rules left for bending ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor ♪" "♪ Leave it on the ground ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor ♪" "♪ Leave it all around ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor ♪" "♪ Your heart will pound ♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor ♪" "♪ What's lost is now found ♪" "♪" "♪ Come on, girls... ♪" "♪" "♪ Leave it on the floor ♪"