"It's half past four of this warm Saturday early morning." "Welcome to a new edition of our programme, but this time with something new with which we hope to surprise you." "How's tonight treating you?" "Alright?" "Our lines are already wide open and we cannot wait to start getting new stories, many pieces of advice and we're especially eager to be in a very good company." "So, without further ado, it's time for the first call of the night." "Let's begin." " What kind of kiss is that?" " Damn it... it's a kiss." "No, that's a fake kiss." "Come on, give me a real kiss, because you don't even sleep with me tonight." "I'm exhausted." "Just thinking that tomorrow I have to go to Seville..." "And besides that, I haven't even packed yet." "Love, but it looks good, doesn't it?" "Yes, Carlos said they seem very interested in setting up" " a franchise, I don't know..." " That's great." "Yes, let's see how it goes." "They booked us a hotel, but I'll most likely stay in my sister's friend's place." "You know I can't be bothered with hotels." "That's great if you can stay there." "I can't wait to take these heels off." "They're giving me such a backache..." "And the lift is still broken." "Have I told you I'm going to sign up to do Pilates?" "No." "Well yes, after so much time in front of the computer," "I'm getting such a backache." "And Nieves has told me it's really good." "Ivan?" "Honey?" " You're not in love with me." " What?" " You don't give a damn." " What do you mean?" "Just that, you don't give a damn about me at all." " But why do you say that, love?" " You don't give a damn about me." "I tell you I'm going to Seville tomorrow, that I'm staying in my sister's friend's place, who you don't even know, and you don't give a damn at all." "You don't even ask me who she is." "I don't know..." "You've said she's your sister's friend." "And?" "Haven't you thought that if I stayed at her place maybe I could make out with her?" "Because you don't know anything." "If she's single, if she lives alone, if she's one of my ex..." "Because obviously, as you never ask..." " Well, love, because I trust you." " That's the problem, you see?" "You see it as trust and I see it as... as indifference." "I'm not saying you have to be a pathological jealous woman, but come on, at least show a bit of interest, okay?" "You know what happens?" "You're not afraid to lose me." "Yes, it's true." "Some nights I go out with my friends, you call me, I don't answer and the next day you don't even ask me where I've been, why I didn't pick up the phone." "Listen, maybe all this I'm telling you may seem absurd to you, but it's not to me, Lucia." "Because the only reading I do of all this is that you couldn't care less for me." "I'm sorry, Ivan, but I don't..." "I'm not understanding anything you're telling me." "It's very easy." "Oh, another thing." "You never get angry." "Never." "Everything is perfect!" "That's not really normal, Lucia." "Normal people get angry, get bothered, argue." "But not you." "You're so understanding." "What really happens to you is that you don't give a damn about anything." "Anything at all." "So look, I..." "I'm so sorry, Lucia, but you must understand that I cannot continue with a farce in which I feel ignored, I can't..." "But, how can you say it's a farce when we're looking for a flat and we're planning to have a child?" "That's why." "Before going any further, I prefer to stop here." "It's just, it's just that..." "I know I won't be happy with you, you fill me with insecurities." " Since when do I do that?" " For quite some time." "Why haven't I noticed anything?" "Because you never notice anything." "You're in your world." "You cannot be serious about this, okay?" "I'm just opening your eyes." "You're not in love with me and you haven't noticed it." "But I'd know if I'm in love or not." "Honey, I love you so much, you know that." "Of course you do, like you love your cat, but you don't really love me, you're not in love with me." "I don't want to be anyone's pet." "You're being very unfair to me." "It's true." "You don't realise it but you never say "I really love you", you always say "I love you" and you can say that to a friend." "All this is very absurd." " Is there another woman?" " But what crap are you saying?" "I don't know, otherwise, I don't understand anything." "Do you hear me when I speak?" "Then, now is the time when you say: "I'm kidding!", you jump on me and you kiss me, but you kiss me for real." "No, Lucia, I'm not kidding." "Deep down, I'm doing you a favour." "Oh yes, a favour..." "My boyfriend dumps me the day of my sister's wedding." "What a great favour!" "We'll always celebrate the anniversary together." "Her wedding's and me getting dumped." "Look, I didn't plan it to be precisely today." "Right." "You fed me that one when, once more, you didn't give a damn about whose house I'd stay for the night." "Of course I do." "But I don't give importance to the fact that..." "You give a damn, but you don't give it importance." "How's that?" "Well, I know what I mean." "But love, you cannot dump me like this." "That's what it is." "Go to hell!" "Don't you say I never get angry?" "Well, I don't want to see you again!" "You're fucking crazy and you want to drive me crazy." "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, my love." "Sorry I've spoken to you that way, but I don't understand anything." "We were going to go and live together next month and now you're dumping me because, according to you, I'm not in love." "Done?" "It's a decision I've given a lot of thought to, I won't change my mind." "So, please, don't make this harder for me." "Besides, it's the best we can do." "But how is it going to be the best?" "Please, honey." "I'll get jealous, I'll spy on your phone, we'll argue every day, I'll constantly get angry, I'll insult you..." "Lucia, don't be pathetic." "It seems tonight's love stories start with lots of action." "Drive, please." "Stop, stop, please stop." "Thank you." "Well, I just..." "You forgot this." "Let's go." "Where are we going?" "Go straight, through the roundabout until the end of the road, please." "Raquel, it's me, listen, I'm heading to your place." "Don't get scared, okay?" "It's just I cannot stay in mine." "I'll tell you later." "But I'm fine." "Come on, calm down, miss." "I cannot calm down, this is insane." " Well, I'm sure it can be fixed." " It cannot be fixed." "After three years together and getting on fucking well, suddenly, he goes and tells me we have to split up, because, according to him, I'm not in love." "What do you say, I really love you or I love you?" " What do you mean?" " Are you taken?" "Are you married?" "Yes, I'm married." "And what do you say to your wife, I really love you or I love you?" "I love you." "See?" "The usual, the usual!" " Telenovelas have done a lot of damage." " I'm sorry but I don't understand you." "He goes and tells me I'm not in love because I never say I really love you, that I always say I love you." "What kind of nonsense is that?" "It seems so artificial, I don't say I really love you, to me loving it means really loving." "It's supposed that within "I love you" is implied you really do, right?" "Because here in Spain is more common to say I love you." "You're right." "I just don't understand where he got this bullshit." "He says he's come to the conclusion that I don't love him, that I don't really love him because I'm never jealous." "Can you believe it?" "And he used to say all the time that was what he most liked about me." "But not now, now it seems it causes him insecurity." "But what insecurity?" "Oh!" "And our relationship is a farce because I never get angry." "Why should I get angry?" "I don't have any reason for it." "What do I have to do?" "Smashing plates so you believe that I love you?" "He's dumped me in 10 minutes." "A 3-year relationship and he dumps me in 10 miserable minutes!" "But things weren't going really well with you lately, right?" "No way, he was more loving than ever lately." "Today was my sister's wedding, and by the way, I got the bouquet." "What an irony, isn't it?" "Well, to the point, because this is not relevant." "What I mean to say is that when I cried and I said:" ""What a great day you've chosen to break up with me", because, get this, he even says he's doing me a favour!" "Anyway, I say to him:" ""Shame on you, dumping me the day of my sister's wedding"" "and he says he didn't plan it, that I fed it to him because I didn't ask him about the house's owner in Seville." "I'm confusing you, right?" "No wonder." "Well, what I mean is that when we were saying goodbye in his car, before he told me about his trip to Seville, he was already giving me some mediocre kisses." "Some mediocre kisses?" "Yes, hollow kisses, without any heart." "Oh, okay, okay." "And I told him what kind of shitty kisses those were, but I told him well, without being unpleasant or anything, because at that moment, I didn't give it too much importance." "So now, he shouldn't say I've fed it to him because when we were saying goodbye, he was already being weird." "And okay, dump me because I supposedly cause you insecurity or because I don't get angry enough or whatever." "But damn it!" "Don't dump me the day of my sister's wedding!" "Look, I don't know your story and honestly, I'm not the one to say but from what you're telling me, he's the one who's not sure about." "In fact, he's being very clever and he's turning the tables." " But that doesn't make any sense." " There're people like this, trust me." "I'm pregnant." "What do you mean "pregnant"?" "You're the first one I tell." "So, he doesn't know?" "Neither he nor anyone." "Today was a very special day for my sister and it wasn't right." " And why didn't you tell him now?" " What for?" "So he wouldn't dump me?" "I didn't want to hold him back with something like this." "I wanted to tell him on his return, which coincided with his birthday." " I'm such a fool!" " No, miss." " Stop, stop here." " Here?" "Yes, yes, here." "I'm going to a friend's house." "I just hope she's at home." " Does your family live around here?" " No, they live in the suburbs." "Well, listen, I work all night." "If you need anything, you only have to whistle." " Thanks Pedro." " You're welcome." " No, no, please, keep the change." " Thanks." "By the way, sorry for the rants." "There's nothing to be sorry for, every cloud has a silver lining." "Besides, think that from now on, you'll never be alone again." "Thanks." "Cheer up!" "Fuck, you almost ran her over." "What?" "I've dodged her fucking well." "All is under control." "Don't you trust me?" "Yes, but you're going too fast." "I don't want the dog puking on me." "You're freaking out." "Don't you see I drive fucking well?" "I'm the king of the bumper cars!" "Don't get excited, this isn't the same." " Have I ever crashed?" " This isn't a bumper car track." "I think it's been the best investment I've ever done." "An investment of what?" "All I spent in the bumper cars was worthy." "Look at me." "Don't you remember?" "I broke so many front teeth you can't count." " That's also because of your dad." " What do you mean?" "You drive so well because since you were little, he made you sit on his lap and drive." "Yes, that also helps, of course." "That's why I became the bullet." "The bullet?" "The stray bullet." "If I gathered all the dough from the bumper cars, now I'd be able to buy a car." " I think I'd be able too." " You?" "You too?" "How?" "You always rode with me for free." "You only spent some money in the fair to ride a pony." "And you even crushed it and died." "I don't think that was my fault." "I had to ride the oldest one." "Fuck, you were three times heavier." "I don't care, I don't know how to drive because of that, you didn't allow me to take the fucking wheel." "Don't fuck with me, you've never wanted to learn." "My parents don't have a car, damn it!" "Well yes, that too." "Do you want to learn now?" " What?" " I pull in and you drive." "No, no, no." "It's dead easy." "It's automatic, you don't have to put any gear." "No, and now that I'm going with the dog even less." "Right." "Pass me the joint." "It amazes me that the two things I love are named the same." "What do you mean?" "Luisito, you're a bit slow today." "What is this made of?" " Of Maria." " And who are we going to see?" "Maria." "Now you know, right?" "Okay, but your mum is called that way too." "But right now, I don't love my mum that much." "I don't know why I taught her to use the bloody internet." " Do you think she'll know it was you?" " I don't think so." "Do we look alike?" "A little bit." "People always say that dogs look alike their owners." "In three months, you'll look more because he already has a fatty face." " Stop it!" " Just kidding!" "Yeah, bollocks!" "I don't understand why you've brought him." "I've already told you." "He only sleeps with me." "Can't you see he's still a puppy?" "At home, he barks and doesn't allow anyone to sleep." "It's okay, you can't get enough of the dog and you don't want to be apart from him." "It's true, I've only been with him for a week." "He's so good!" "Aren't you so good?" "Yes, really good." "Hey, we should stop to eat something." "I'm hungry." "How can you be, man?" "You've just eaten two huge hamburgers." "I'm hungry, any problem?" "I don't know where you fit everything you eat." "Wow, man, if I told you where I fit it." " I have an alien inside me, you know?" " It seems so." "I wish I had it." "Do you remember when you went to camp with the catechism group?" "I couldn't go because I was in the hospital." "You got your tonsils removed, right?" "I said that because I was embarrassed." "You know what really happened?" "My mum's friend told her in front of me it wasn't normal I ate so much and I was so slim, that maybe I had a tapeworm." " You know what that is, right?" " Yes." "I was 9 and I had no fucking idea, so I asked my grandma and she said:" ""It's a super long worm that lives in your stomach and scoffs all you eat, and you can't gain weight"." "I asked her how to get rid of it and she said when you take a shit." "So, I got paranoid and spent 10 days without taking a shit, holding in my poop in case that worm came out of my ass." " And what happened?" " I got such a strong stomach ache, they had to admit me in the hospital with acute peritonitis." "Fuck man, and do you still have the tapeworm inside?" "What?" "I had nothing." "It's my metabolism." "I don't gain weight, because I don't." " Have you met anyone who has it?" " No, I haven't." "Me neither." "That's a cock-and-bull tale, man." "I've never known what that means." "But how did you meet him at the cemetery?" "Well, in the early morning of All Saints' Day, they offer guided tours in the Poblenou Cemetery," " that's how I met him there." " That's a rather odd place to meet..." "Good night." "Hello?" "Yes, sorry, I think I dialled the wrong number." "You've called the programme "Tell Julia"." "Oh, then I'm not wrong." "Okay, tell me your name, and the topic you want to speak about." "But, don't I tell Julia?" "Yes, but I'm the editor who forwards her the calls." " What is your name?" " Francisco José Lucas Camacho." "You don't need to give me your full name." "How do people often call you?" "Francisco?" "Fran?" " No, Paco." " Okay, Paco." "And what topic do you want to speak about?" "Well, you see..." "I don't know how to tell the woman I like that I want to be with her." "Okay, now wait a few seconds and you'll be live with Julia" " and you tell her, okay?" " Okay." "Good night." "With whom are we talking?" " I'm Paco." " Hello Paco." "Welcome." " Thank you." " What do you want to tell us?" "Well, I'm not sure where to start." "I'm a bit nervous." "Don't worry, I'll help you." "Let's see, is it a personal or a professional matter?" " No, no, it's personal." " Very well." "What's the matter?" " Paco, are you there?" " Yes, sorry." "Well..." "Tell us." "I think I've been in love with a woman for 4 years and..." " And she doesn't know it." " I think so." "And is she your friend?" "Do you speak with her a lot?" " No." "Well yes." " Yes or no?" "Well, the truth is we see each other every fortnight." "Sometimes many months pass without seeing each other, but when we do, time hasn't passed." "We understand each other very well." "And what's the problem?" "You don't know how to tell her?" "Yes..." "Why?" "Because she intimidates you?" "Because you think she'll reject you?" "Well, a little bit of everything." "And because I've never done it before." "What haven't you ever done?" "I've never declared myself to a woman, I've never had a girlfriend." "Oh, okay." "Now I understand it." "Forgive my indiscretion, but how old are you?" "I cannot guess it from your voice, if you want to share it with us." " Yes, yes, 47." " Well, still very young!" "Maybe that's the problem, you've never had a relationship." "That makes you feel more insecure when declaring yourself to her, right?" "Yes, yes." " Do you live alone?" " No, with my mother and my sister." "But it's as if I lived alone because I'm truck driver," "I spend long periods away from home." " So let's say your home is your truck." " Yes, something like that." " And what's her name?" " Lupe." "And where did you meet her?" "Paco, are you still there?" "Yes, sorry." "She works in a sofa factory." " But is she single?" " I think so." "What do you mean by that?" "Well, we always talk about me, my things, my trips." "She doesn't like talking about her private life." "I just know that her only son died in an accident." "When I try to talk about it, she always changes the subject, she says:" "Let bygones, be bygones..." "Hey, what is it you like about her?" "Well, she's a wonderful woman." "She's very noble and with lots of sense of humour." "Time flies when I'm with her." "She listens to me and cares about me." "She always gives me good advice." "And don't you think she must notice it?" "Well, a bit, yes." "So, you want us to help you tell her, right?" "Yes, I don't want to lose the relationship I have with her, that's why I want to do it well." "And do you think she's listening to us?" " No, I don't think so." " Because it's too late, I guess." "She doesn't listen and like these kind of programmes." "She says she has enough problems to listen to the problems of people she doesn't know." "Okay, we're sending the message to the sea of our listeners and let's see what pieces of advice they can give you." " Thank you so much." " Thank you, Paco." "She's so nice!" "...the lines are still open waiting for your advice and especially new stories." "For those who have just joined us, either because this heat has kept you awake or simply because you've just tuned in, let me tell you that we've recently started a new section called" "The Dedication Box." "Here you can leave any type of dedicated message..." "So, without further ado, let's listen to these messages." "Good night, this is a message to all the nurses and doctors working in the Hospital de la Fe in Valencia." "I just wanted to say you're champions and many thanks for taking care of me and making me feel like I was in a 5-star hotel while I was admitted." "I send you a big hug and I carry you in my heart." "Hi Julia, I want to tell you I've been attached to the radio for 7 years and you're the one to blame, I am baker and I think the bread I make is so good because of the good vibes you give." "Listen, I'd like to leave a message to my colleague, well, to my former colleague, because the bastard has left me for another bakery that pays him more." "His name is Fermin and this message is for him." "I know he'll be listening because I got him hooked to it." "Well, Fermin, this message is to tell you to remember washing your hands after peeing before kneading the bread." " Here you go." " Thanks, man." "I cannot stand drinking water when I have a mint gum in my mouth, it doesn't quench my thirst." "Throw the gum away and then drink." "But it doesn't quench it anyway." "You have to wait for a while." "It's like when you drink water after you wash your teeth, it doesn't quench your thirst either, you get a weird feeling in your mouth." "You're weird." "Do you believe in the evil eye?" "I tell you, you're weird." "Why this question now?" "I know it's a little surreal, but I don't know what to think lately." " But has something happened to you?" " Not particularly." " So?" " I don't know..." "That's nonsense, man." "I think the only evil eye there is in this life is to be blind." "Damn, I think I'll miss you so much." " Come on, I'm not going that far." " I know what I mean." "Well, you won't get bored with "The Siphon Man"." "Every day, he'll tell you what he dreamed the previous night..." "When will people realise we don't give a damn about they've dreamed?" "It's like when they show you their holiday photos or the one of their newborn nephews." "We don't care." "We don't care!" "You hear me?" "We don't care!" " But what are you doing?" " It's okay." ""The Siphon Man" is really a weird man, isn't he?" "It's just it cannot be possible, he goes from one calamity to another." "Everything happens to him, he's a disaster." "Damn, that's the worst thing you can be called." " What?" " A disaster." "You say that to me and I wallow in misery." " I'm not going to say it to him." " Well, I hope so." "Well, I think it's worse to be called a pedestrian." "Don't laugh." "Let's see, who has called you a pedestrian?" "Hell, the other day," "I was crossing the street and a police officer behind me said:" ""Hey, sir, you're a pedestrian, and as one, you have to cross at the pedestrian crossing"." "I swear it felt like a kick in the teeth." "I'd have preferred he'd called me son of a bitch rather than pedestrian." ""Pedestrian" is the most impersonal thing someone can call you." "It even sounds phonetically wrong." "Say it, you'll see, say "pedestrian"." " Pedestrian, pedestrian..." " Pedestrian?" "How can you call me that?" "Look!" "Look!" "Look!" "Wow!" "How cool!" "That one is from 69." "Wow, how beautiful." "The first Mercedes I got into in my life was one like that one." "It belonged to my father's boss." "With the sound of its engine, you don't need to play any music." "It's really wonderful." "Look!" "Look!" "What do you do to be so happy?" " I make decisions." " Come on." "I'm serious." "Since I've known you, there hasn't been a day you're not in a good mood." " I think it's a matter of will." " It's true, I haven't seen you bitter." "I've also went through some things, okay?" "No, but I think that attitude comes by default." "Don't believe that." "I had a forgettable period in my life." "I didn't even have a shadow." " Really?" " Yes." "This profession is a paradox." "We save lives and we're often unable to save ours." "I went through a long period of time where life weighed heavily." "I got into the darkness." "I went through more than 40 different jobs, and some of them are better not to remember." "I had no enthusiasm for anything." "It was like I lived life in black and white." "Do you know those old TVs that went out of tune by themselves and you had to stand up to touch the tuning wheel until you found" " the right point until it looked good?" " Yes." "That's how I felt." "What happened is that I didn't find the fucking wheel to tune me in." "I was completely crazy, I didn't know what to do." "I even went to see a psychologist and all." " Really?" " Yes, yes, yes." " I can't imagine it." " Yes, yes." "And what did he say?" "He told me I was completely lost." "I said to myself: "Well, when I find myself, I'll greet myself"." "Then, I got laid off from work, and I changed of city once again." "I'm a fucking nomad, Manu." "Like now, I'll say goodbye to this city in an hour." "But now you're super tuned with a full-colour plasma screen and DTT included, right?" "Yes, I am, I am, at last." "I think my dose of suffering is covered until 2040, at least." "By the way, I'd like to buy her some flowers." "They usually have at the 24 hour open gas station near the hospital." "Oh, that's great!" "Can you call me?" "I think my phone isn't working properly." "Call Manu." " Okay." " That's it." "Hang up." "Thanks." " It works, isn't it?" " Yes." "Yes, yes." "Hello, good night." "Hi." "I call regarding the truck driver who called before and who didn't know how to declare himself to the woman he likes." " Yes, you're talking about Paco." " That's right, Paco." "And with whom we have the pleasure of speaking?" " My name is Pedro." " Welcome Pedro." "Thanks." "First of all, congratulations on your programme." "Just like the fellow who's called, I also work at night, and the truth is you keep us in good company." "Well, thank you very much, Pedro." "It's a pleasure to know there are many castaways swimming in our sea." "Well, tell us, what advice do you think you can give him?" "When I met who today is my wife and the love of my life," "I also had trouble to take the initiative, because, besides being gorgeous, she was much younger than me and I was afraid she could reject me." "I spent 3 years going to her parents' bar, where she worked, and I never dared to say anything to her." "Until one day, out of the blue, I said: "Listen, if you come with me you'll never be short of kisses"." "And by magic, and don't ask me why, we've never been apart since that day." "And that happened 18 years ago." " That's so nice, Pedro." " And I kept my promise, okay?" "That's great!" "I'd advise him not to wait another second to tell her." " Time is in a hurry." " I totally agree." "If you don't mind, I'd like to say some words to my wife." " She's also a fan of the programme." " Does she also work at night?" "No, but she waits for me to go to bed together." "Oh, that's a lot of love!" "Well then, go ahead." "Let's see." "Hi, honey." "I guess you're listening to me and then you'll tell me off for leaving this message," "I know you feel very embarrassed by these things." "But, I don't know, it seemed a great opportunity to tell you that our love is now 18 but it's younger than ever." "These 18 years by your side have been the happiest of my life." "I'm madly in love with you and I want you to know that I still have many kisses to give you." "What a sweetheart you have at home, there are few like him." "Well, Pedro, it's been a pleasure to have you with us." "And let's hope Paco has picked up this advice and most of all, it works to him as well as it did to you." "After this beautiful love story, now it's time for our section of solved stories." "Well, we fully plunge into one of my favourite sections." "I'm glad to see the amount of emails we've received these weeks, because that's a great sign." "We begin with the solved story of Irene..." "My God, man, you're drunk as a skunk." "...Irene called us from Granada about three weeks ago." "She contacted us to ask for our help." "I'm going to read her message." "Hi, first of all, I want to thank the programme..." " It's forbidden to tell me off, okay?" " What?" " Weren't you listening to the radio?" " No." "That's weird..." " Hey, are you okay?" " Yes, well, no..." "It's just..." "What's wrong?" "Did something happen to the kid?" "No, no, it has nothing to do with him." "It's..." "Shit." " Can you imagine if we run into him?" " What?" "Fuck!" "With that pot, your face gets erased." "Oh, right..." "But you don't even know who he is, do you?" " Yeah, but he knows who I am." " You think so?" "Of course..." "And now even more." "Are you going to smoke it all?" "Fuck!" "Here!" "The wind's smoking it!" "Put some music on to warm things up, okay?" "Okay." "It seems tonight's love stories are on track." " Change, change that, man." " I know, damn it." "I'm on it." "This one, yes." "She'll freak out when she sees me with this hot rod, mate." "Don't leave me, okay?" "At least wait until I meet someone I can stay with." " You already have your dog." " Koke, I'm dead serious." "Fuck, Luisito, stay with Maria's friend." "Which Maria's friend?" "Forget it." "What do you mean?" "She's with her in her Facebook profile, the redhead." " Let's see." " I don't recall her name." " This one?" " That one." "No way, man, she looks like a fucking posh hippie girl." "Why do you say that?" "You can see it in her face, damn it." "How can you see that in her face?" "Come on, pass me the rucksack." " What do you want?" " You don't trust me?" "What do you want, man?" "I'll give it to you." "Stop, Koke!" "Stop, man!" "Fuck!" " The dog, man!" " Oh, right, your doggy!" " Stop or forget the rucksack." " Okay, I stop, done." " I've brought them a little present." " To whom?" "To them?" " Some tampons?" " No." "Along with this, they're the best shots of the world." " But what are you saying?" " Look." " But what's that?" " She sent me this picture." "They put a tampon soaked in vodka in their pussy and they get pissed." " You're kidding me, right?" " I swear." "My God, these girls are insane." "Careful!" "She's my girlfriend." "Your girlfriend..." "I was working as a security guard that night in that authorised dealer." " But they never knew it was you?" " No, no, no, in fact nobody knew." "Then, why did you stop working there?" "Because it weighed on my conscience." "You have to take into account that I had just got out of jail and the owner gave me the chance to have a decent job." "It's very hard to get a job for ex-convicts." "And he didn't care." "He fully trusted me and I betrayed him." "To him, you didn't betray him because he never knew it was you." "Yeah, but I know it, and that's enough for me." "You don't know how it tortured my mind." "Look at you!" "You've shaved your beard!" "Where's the captain look now?" " Don't you like it?" " Yes, it's great." "It's a bit weird, I've never seen you without it." " Have you just shaved it?" " How do you know?" "It seems you've just left a carnage, you're full of cuts." " Fuck!" " No, don't touch it." "I'll clean it." "But this will sting a little." "Let's see, where is it?" "Here it is." "It's lack of habit." "I haven't shaved since I did the military service." " Why did you shave today?" " I don't know, I felt like a change." "To change?" "To change what?" "I don't know, my appearance." "You don't like it, do you?" "I do like it, you look great." "You look different." " Your mouth looks smaller." " Damn, you're making it better." "No!" "Here." "What will this be?" "I'm not very original, but I know you like them, so I won't fail." "I love them." "I love them even if they're melted." "Damn, I'm sorry, I never think they can melt." "Let's see if I can find out which shape they had." " How are things in Germany?" " It's cooler than here." " They're delicious." "You want one?" " No, no, thanks." " I thought you weren't coming." " Why?" "It's been two months." "I know, but my mum got ill and then I got a complicated order." " And how is she now?" " Who?" "Who can it be?" "Your mother." "Oh, she's okay, her blood sugar got elevated and things got complicated, but she's okay now." "She's perfect, my sister takes good care of her." "I'm glad." "Have you missed me?" " What's this question about?" " I don't know." "Maybe I missed you less, maybe I missed you more." " You sing really well." " Oh, come on." " I'm serious." " No, not at all, I sing horribly." "Well, it's okay, I'm not a singer, I'm a whore." "Don't say that, to me you're not a whore." " Am I not?" "So what am I?" " Another thing." " I'm a thing." " You're confusing me." "Thing, whore, thing, whole." "It sounds better, it's sounds... softer." " Thing." " You're not a thing either." " Are you expecting any call?" " No, why?" "Because you've been looking at your phone all night." "Really?" "I don't know, I haven't noticed." "I look at it to check the time." "They say the name we have determines our destiny." "Fuck, you're obsessed with the paranormal today, aren't you?" "I know, it's just a coincidence, I'm not obsessed by these topics." "I just remembered after seeing what it says in that van." "Lorenzo's solar panels installation." "The other day I read an article online about the name's choice for your kid." "It said that whatever name you choose, it'll determine their destiny." "I don't know, they didn't give much thought to mine, it's my grandpa's." "And you?" "I have no idea, I've never really thought about it." "I'm sure they chose this one because there wasn't a male flower name." "A male flower name?" "My mother had a florist's and chose to name her daughters after flowers until I was born and I ended it." " No way." " Yes." "Daisy, Violet, Rose and Lily." "And wait for the best, the four of them are allergic to pollen." " Really?" " Yes..." " You're pulling my leg." " No, really, I'm serious." " And you're the only boy?" " Yes." "Well, four flowers and a bud." "Sorry, sorry." "Listen, you could have been named Hyacinth or Thistle." "Well, not Thistle." "Clover!" " Clover would be nice." " Clover is nice." "I'm sure I'd have better luck." "Hello?" "Honey, I've run out of battery, but I'm heading home, okay?" "No, please don't come, don't come." "Why not?" "Come on, sweetie, please calm down and tell me what happens." "Listen Pedro..." " Why do you call me by my name?" " I don't know, I'm nervous." " But what's wrong, my love?" " I don't know where to start." "Come on, baby, please, calm down, because I'm getting very nervous and I'm not understanding anything." " I'm moving out." " What?" " Just that, I'm moving out." " But how can you move out?" "I'm moving out, I'm leaving now, I'm not well." "But what is not well, my love?" "Me, I'm not well." "I think I'm not happy." "Calm down, honey, I'm not understanding anything." "What do you mean you're not happy?" "Just that, I don't know..." "I feel like I don't have a life." "The only thing I do is spending the nights glued to the radio and the computer waiting for you to get home." "It was a decision we both made, so we could go to bed together." "Honey, if you want, I change my shift." "You don't understand anything." "You're always in your world and you don't understand anything." "But what world, love?" "My world is your world." "No, Pedro, not anymore." "But why not?" "Just because." "Since when?" "See?" "You don't get anything." "But what do I need to get, my love?" "I feel suffocated." "I feel like I'm withering in this relationship." "You don't make me feel special." "We've entered a dynamic in which you take for granted I'll always be here." " And it's not like that." " But how can you say that?" "I work at night so I can be with you during the day." "Yeah, but I think it's because you've gotten used to this." "I feel you're not afraid to lose me, you don't even get jealous." "Sometimes I feel you treat me like a daughter you have to take care of." "And I know you love me so much, but that's care, not love, honey." "You're not really in love with me." "Look Pedro," "I won't talk more, it's a definitive, well thought decision." "This is very hard for me, so please, don't make it more difficult." "Are you there?" "Are you there?" "Yes." "Right then," "I'm leaving, Pedro." "Okay." "You only say that?" "Okay?" "See?" "Goodbye." "Hey, how do you kiss?" "What do you mean?" "What's this question about?" "What do you do with your tongue?" "Going round in circles with hers." "And you?" "You've never given a fucking French kiss?" "Are you serious, man?" "And the party in Tania's house?" "You said you hooked up with her." "I did, but she couldn't kiss her." "She told me she wouldn't kiss anyone until her brackets were removed." "Motherfucker." "But then, what did you really mean by hooking up with her?" " Fuck, I meant groping her." " Where?" "I don't remember, man." "Come on!" "Where did you grope her?" " On the ass, damn it." " That's it?" "And on the boobs?" "No way." "I can imagine the situation." "Did you only touch her ass over her clothes?" "So, you don't have any idea of how to snog?" "Well, more or less." "Don't worry, I'll fix this quickly." "Take that bottle of water." " For what?" " Open it with your tongue." " What do you mean?" " Try to unscrew it with your tongue." "Like that." " That's it, you know how to kiss." " What do you mean by that?" "All you have to do is what you've done with the cap." "But instead that, with her tongue." " Shit, it must be extremely difficult." " How can it be?" "It's dead easy." "You'll try it tonight with Maria's friend, trust me." "I'm going to stop there to buy something to eat." " I'd rather not." " But why not?" "Why do you think so, Koke?" "Can't you see there's not a soul in here?" "Fucking gum!" "But hurry up, man, okay?" "I stepped on a fucking gum, I cannot drive with that." " Where are you going now?" " There, to rub it off." "Holy shit..." "Are you on your own?" "No, we're with my father who's in the toilet there." " What are you doing?" " Can't you see?" "Running out." "They're delicious." " Are you okay?" " Yes, why?" " You've been quiet for a while." " No, I'm fine." " What are you looking at?" " Nothing, I think you've dropped this." "He's your son, isn't he?" "And where was it?" "There, it must have dropped from your handbag." " He was very handsome." " Yes." "He was gorgeous." "This was at my brother's wedding." "With that suit, he looked like a little man." "Oh, my!" "He'd have turned 30 tomorrow." "I think it's slipped off my handbag to remind it to me." "But you know I'll never forget it again." "What?" "Did you forget it sometime?" "Yes." "His last birthday." "He was turning 16, and that time, my God, I was at full gallop." "And as I didn't wish him happy birthday that day," "I got home, he was in the kitchen, drinking a glass of milk before going to bed, he grabbed a muffin, put a match on it, gave it to me and said:" ""Mom, light it and sing Happy Birthday to me, there're only 10 minutes left of today and nobody has wished me well yet"." "How nice!" "I felt so embarrassed." "I felt like the worst mother in the world, can you believe it?" "My only son." "How could I forget it?" "It never happened to me." "So the next day, I didn't think it twice." "I bought the motorbike he was giving me a hard time all year." "We didn't have any money, but I asked for a loan, which was granted to me because my father co-signed it, and I bought him the motorbike." "I can't forget his happy face when he came home and saw it." "His shy little smile..." "He wasn't expecting it at all." "He was like a little boy, he didn't know if to laugh or cry." "At that time," "I didn't forgive myself for having forgotten his birthday, you know?" "And still now," "I don't forgive myself for having bought him that bloody motorbike." "Well, but it wasn't your fault, he could have killed himself with a friend's motorbike." "I know." "But he killed himself with his, with the one I gave him." "And I always refused to buy it, because he looked very young to me and I was afraid something could happen to him." "And look, it happened." "There's no day I don't think I could have avoided it." "Poor boy, he barely enjoyed it, because it lasted a month." "The first two years were horrible, horrible," "because every month, when the loan bill arrived, it was... well... like a dart in the heart that reminded me I was the culprit." "A child dying before her mother is unnatural." "Look, it's so unnatural, it doesn't have a name." "It's true." "When a woman loses her husband, what is she?" "A widow." "When children lose their parents?" "They're orphans." "But when a mother loses her child, what is she?" "How is she called?" "That..." "That doesn't have any word." "They haven't invented it." "And I think it's because the pain is so big that any word is enough to define that emptiness." "Your life will never be the same, it's like... a part of you died with him, you know?" "Fuck!" "Forgive me." "I'll have to pay you in the end." "I really don't know what to say." " Thank you." " For what?" "For telling me this." "For sharing your tears with me." "You know?" "It's been a while since I last cried." "In fact, I thought I had ran out of tears." "Well, that's it." "That's it." " You're beautiful." " Yes, I must be so beautiful now!" "Come on, let's begin." "But after all I've told you, your libido must be non-existent." "Not at all, but I haven't come with the intention of doing it." "No?" "No." "How come?" " You've left the light on." " No, I haven't." "What do you mean you haven't?" "Was that your flat or not?" "What I mean to say is that I left it on deliberately." "Now electricity isn't really cheap to leave it on." " I don't know, I do it sometimes." " For any special reason?" " Well, I don't know..." " How can you not know?" "Let's see how I explain you this without sounding like a crazy person." "When I get home, I like the lights on, because it seems there's someone waiting for me." "That's it." "How cool!" "I haven't thought of that." "What I do is turning the TV on as soon as I get home." "It keeps me company a lot." "I can't be bothered with the TV." "I think the best I watch in it is my reflection when it's off." "That says it all." "Hey, how old are you?" "You mislead me." "I've just turned 35 today." "Well, five hours ago." "Why didn't you say anything?" "Happy birthday, man!" "Thank you." "I don't know, I never say it." "The only one who wished it to me was the ATM this morning." "Haven't your family's flowers wished you happy birthday?" "No." "Now I understand why you're constantly checking the phone." "Are you expecting any special birthday wishes or what?" "No way." "You should know that a watched pot never boils." "I'm not expecting any call, really." "Oh, look!" "Ask him." "Excuse me." "Sir, is there a gas station nearby?" "No idea." "It's okay, thanks." "What a hick!" "Koke, stop!" "Koke, stop, they're behind us!" "Don't fucking run!" "Let them catch me!" "That would be the best." "You're making me very nervous." "Throw the bag of weed away." " What?" " Throw the bag of weed away." "Stop, please!" "Fuck, Koke!" "Stop, damn it!" "Take that, motherfucker!" " Did you see what we've just done?" " Jesus Christ!" "Told you, I'm the fucking bullet." "They've sucked our dicks." "What are you doing?" "Well..." "I'm rehearsing for later, damn it." "Fuck, it's going to rain cats and dogs." "Yes, it seems so, but hey, that's always good." "Water purifies." "Paco, I gotta go, we've been chatting for more than half an hour." " No, wait, don't go." " Why not?" "Maybe it's going to start raining and you'll get wet." " Oh, Paco..." "Bye." " I have to tell you something." "What?" "Well, one thing." "Please, close the door." "You're very mysterious tonight." "You've shaved your beard, you're quiet, you don't want to do it." "Look Lupe," "I..." "Fuck, Fany!" "You really scared me!" " Baby!" " Move, let me open." "Fany..." "Oh baby, sorry, I left the condoms in the last customer's car." "I didn't want to ask the Russians, you know how they resent me." " Here." " Hello Paco!" "Are you lost!" "Hi Fany." "Yes, it's true it's been a while." " But man, you've shaved the beard!" " Yes, I felt like a change." "Well done." "It's always good to change one's look." "I should go, I'm not going to be pain in the ass any longer." "Look at her, so handy and foresighted with her umbrella and all." "She's like MacGyver." "Her handbag isn't short of anything." "Well, yes, condoms." "Look at fucking MacGyver." "Oh, Lupe, I don't know about you, but what a night of freaks..." "I started the night with a guy that said the following sentence:" ""Look at the carrot I have for your bunny!"" "You should have seen the carrot, it wasn't even a pickle." "Well, the other one said to me:" ""Wait, let me introduce you to my friend"." "We were inside his car in the middle of a deserted waste ground." "He introduced me to his imaginary friend and I got scared shitless." "There are many deranged people looking like normal people." "And it gets even worse." "The guy takes out his dick and says:" ""Fany, Conan." "Conan, Fany." An official presentation." "He looked so serious it seemed he was introducing me to his boss." "And what have you done?" "Have you shaken his hand?" "No." "I prefer to give two kisses." "I should go or I'll end up telling you my monologue about types of dicks." "We'll leave it for another day." "Bye gorgeous." "Bye." "She's so funny." "Yes, she's the best." "The nights with her aren't that long." " Well, tell me." " Tell you what?" "Ah, you should know." "You got me really intrigued!" "Will you marry me?" "What's wrong with you, Paco?" "You're crazy." " That's the full moon." " No, I'm not crazy." "Well yes, because I don't know how to do it and I feel ridiculous, but I want you to know that I'm completely in love with you." "But Paco..." " How can you be in love with me?" " Well, I am." "No, man, it doesn't work like this." "It cannot be that you fall in love with a whore the first time." " No, you're not a whore." " Oh, it's true, I was another thing." "Yes, a wonderful thing that drives me crazy and puts a smile on my face every time it crosses my mind." "My God, what is this display?" "Oh Paco, you're out of your mind." "It's better this way." "But these things only happen in films." "Then let's live a film." "Our film." "Look Lupe, I cannot promise you anything, but if you come with me, you'll never be short of kisses." " Drive." " Are you serious?" "I've never been more serious in my whole life!" " And another thing." " What?" "The lead actress of this film isn't called Lupe but Esperanza." "Maria?" "Oh Rita, what a surprise." "How are you?" "I'm so glad to see you!" "What are you doing here at this hour?" "I'm heading to a friend's house who starts work at 6 and has asked me to stay with..." "with his son." "What a coincidence." "We'll both be nannies." " Are you going to take care of a kid?" " No, well, he looks like it." " An elderly man, just on weekends." " Oh, right." "Is that your suitcase?" "Yes, I bring clothes to her son from the time mine was little." "Clothes looked so new, I'd feel bad if I throw them away." "Answer it." "No." "It's okay." "Oh, Maria, if you knew how happy I am for having seen you." "How long has it been since we last saw each other?" " What?" "Four years or so." " Yes, something like that." "You barely go around the neighbourhood these days..." "Yes, my parents moved out and I find it more difficult." "Well, dear, sitting in a bus would be the last place I thought I'd find you." "The shoemaker's son always goes barefoot, right?" "And how is he?" "Fine." "He had to take a customer to the airport today, that's why he couldn't take me." "But, is he still doing the night shift?" "Yes." "Oh Pedro, he's such a nice guy." "There aren't men like him now." "You took the last one." " Is something the matter?" " No, why?" "It's just that your eyes are very red." "Oh, I know." "I got a bit of conjunctivitis." "Oh, don't tell me." "That's the worst of the worst." "It's also very uncomfortable." "Now I go to the swimming pool and I've got it many times, if not I get a fungus on the feet." "You know I get it all." "Because I'm very greedy." " That's good." " What is?" "Going swimming, don't you think?" "It's good that you do sport." "Oh well, but I don't..." "If I do, it's because I get bored." "Sport... makes me tired." "I go there, I get in the water," "I get soaked wet and I don't do anything." "Then, I speak with the ladies from my apartment block, we gossip and when I feel like it, I come out as wrinkled as a prune." "You should swim because they say it's the most complete sport there is." "It really is." "The worst thing is wearing that horrible rubber cap, which is also the most unsexy thing there is!" "I'd like you to see me with it." "I look like the cannonball woman." "Maybe it's Pedro." "She's my friend." "I'll call her now." "Humanity is going crazy." " Why do you say that?" " Didn't you see it?" "Do you see that lady with the dog?" "Yes." "Well, she's just brought food to the homeless' dog." "She hasn't brought anything to him, she hasn't even looked at him." "I think we're losing the plot with the animal issue." "Look at him!" "Look at him!" "He's eating dog food, poor man." "Damn, that's really sad!" "Look, it's okay to me that we ban the bulls, village festivities, geese farms..." "But I think this overprotection towards the animal world up to the point of ignoring you have a person next to you who's dying of hunger," "it seems inhuman to me." "Yes, it's true, it's unbelievable." "And at this hour, why the hell is that lady walking her dog?" "I'm sure the dog had insomnia and as it's her dear dog, she said:" ""Come on, Fifi, off to the street"." "I think that, listen to what I say, some dogs own their masters." "Anyway, I don't want to get angry." "I'm off, Manu, I'm not here." "Look, I disappear!" "I disappear!" " Are you heading straight there?" " Yes, yes." "I want to get there at lunch time, I need to get into the sea." "I'm so happy for you." "Your love story is fantastic." "Yes, absolutely, the truth is all has been very crazy." "You can say that again." "You've found the woman and the car of your life almost simultaneously." "Yes, it's true!" "That's great, Alberto." "I wish I could do the same." "Starting from scratch." "Well, if you really want to do it, you have to start by removing the photo of your ex from the phone wallpaper." "And stop fucking looking at it!" "The harder you look, the phone won't ring." " Fuck..." " That's what I think." "I just say that sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve." "Central to Alfa 4.21." "Alfa 4.21 to Central." "Go ahead." "We have a car accident near kilometer five at C32." "2 vehicles, 3 wounded, two of them unconscious." "ICU on the way." "Copy that." "On our way." "I knew we'd have to slog away in the end." "What are you doing?" "Making decisions." "Come on, let's get on with it." " Hey, you look different." " Really?" "Yes, younger." "It must be because I'm wearing a bit of makeup." " Your phone is ringing." " Really?" "As all sound the same..." "It's my friend again." " Answer it, she's going to worry." " No, we're almost there." "The next stop is mine." "Well, Rita, it's been so great to see you." " Give my regards to your husband." " To my husband?" "Oh, my husband!" " What happened?" " He disappeared." "What do you mean?" "One day he called from work saying he wouldn't be back home." "But why?" "He didn't explain himself." "And how are you?" "I'm fine." "There's a saying that goes like this:" ""He who leaves without being kicked out, will come back without being called"." "What happens is that..." "I don't want him to come back." "I got tired of waiting." "I'm so sorry, Rita." "It's okay, I've really got over it." "Well, this is my stop." "Okay..." " I'm so glad to see you." " And you." "Take care." " And give my regards to Nuri!" " I will." "Well, bye." "I'm going to kill myself by driving all the way there today." "I just hope that at least the car doesn't break down." "Don't think that." "You took it for service, right?" "With second hand cars, you never know." "And it's also the first long road trip with it..." "By the way, why did it take you so long to find it?" "Because they only made a limited edition of that model, and when it came out, I didn't have any money." "And when I did, I didn't find it in the colour I wanted." "And you know I'm very capricious." "But hey, I knew that sooner or later I'd find it." "Where were you?" "You had me worried." "I was on the bus, and I didn't listen to your calls." "Maria, I cannot talk right now, we're heading to give medical aid." " I'll see you in the hospital, okay?" " It's not there." " What do you mean?" " Just that, it's not there." "Maria, I'm getting very nervous." "What is not there?" "The mailbox where you left the keys was open and nothing was there." "So I went to the garage, which was also open, and it wasn't there." "And the worst of all is that I think it's been Koke." "When I checked the email in which you explained everything, it was open, and I always, always, always close it." "But I was nervous, I don't know, I thought maybe I had got distracted and I had left it open, I don't know." "Alberto, are you listening to me?" "I'm calling him but he doesn't pick up the phone." "When I do, he always picks it up." "I've called his friends, Luisito..." "Well, dear castaways, this is the end of today's programme." "It's time for the news bulletin now." "And we hope this rain with which the city is awakening, rinses your hearts." "Happy Sunday!" "PATHS"