"(Maxine) Previously on "Daytime Divas..."" "I have to let you go." "I saw footage of you sexually harassing an underling." "I'm not leaving my house." "You're moving into the basement." "Kibby, I found you a personal sober coach." " Recovery sucks." " You wanna stay sober." "You need to take responsibility for your actions." "I've been talking to your neighbor, Philip." "There is no story here, Anna." "He had a lot to say about you and Ted." "I guess the walls are kind of thin." "I have a bitch of a neighbor." " I think you've had enough." " Who do you think you are?" "I'm making Anna a co-host." "Oh, did Nina not mention I know?" "You're the father of her baby." "Why didn't you tell me that Andrew knows about our baby?" "[gasps]" "Nina's having my baby." "So, from now on, we're gonna do things my way." "And dinga-linga-ling." "There's a bun in the oven at "The Lunch Hour."" "Co-host Nina Sandoval is expecting a baby with not her husband and everyone's going gaga." "Welcome to grandmother-hood, Maxine." "Stock up on apple sauce and diapers." "You're gonna need them." "I think the real story here is that Nina's baby daddy is "The Lunch Hour's"" "executive producer, Shawn Robinson." "I mean, he's her boss." "He's her..." "I called in every favor to squash this story and every network is leading with it!" "That was your first mistake." "You shoulda called me." "Isabel, I-I thought I could handle the damage myself." "Right." "You didn't wanna spend the money." "You thought you had friends in the media that had your back, but instead..." "Instead they stabbed it." "Like my own son who betrayed me." "Honey, I spin that shrink, but I got this." "First things first, your show looks like a circus." "And let's face it." "You look weak." "But I can fix that." "Do you a have a blazer?" "Something with strong shoulders and a neutral tone?" "(female on TV) If raising a child in the limelight isn't challenging enough, this poor kid is going to grow up with their identity deeply tied to this media-feeding frenzy." " We have to think about that." " I feel for them." "I do, especially the baby." "But the person things have really turned upside down for is Nina's husband." "For a congressional candidate, Andrew Weller, this is a..." "Is Maxine Robinson running a daytime talk show or a soap opera?" "Does this thing turn off?" "[sighs]" "Shawn?" "Everything is falling apart." " Or is it falling into place?" " Hardly." "Andrew is pissed, trust me." "When the time is right, he's gonna take me down and make me the villain." " No comment." " And I don't blame him." "The press is up his ass because of us, Shawn." "We owe it to him to be as discreet as possible, okay?" "[door opens]" "It's about time." "The kids will be here any second." "Oh." "You wanna do it for old times' sake?" "No, we don't have the two and a half minutes that'll take." "Your loss, just thought you might want a sneak peak of my underwear." "Oh." "Save it when you promote them on the show tomorrow." " Wake up!" "Wake up!" " Wake up!" "Wake up!" " Hey." " Hey, morning, guys." " Good morning, guys." "Ah." " How you doin'?" "Hey, buddy, your Little League game's this weekend." "You wanna practice after school?" " Yeah, that sounds fun." " Alright." "Fun?" "The other day you refused to get in the car for me when it was time to go to practice." "The boy likes baseball." "Don't you, Junior?" "Alright, peanuts." "Go brush your teeth." "Our boy is a boy." "I told you those dresses were just a phase." "You've just been brainwashed by all that liberal junk you're around all day." "[sighs]" "Well, look who it is." ""The Lunch Hour" Lothario." "Oh, look at that picture." "That looked better on the cover of "The Daily News."" "[laughs]" " Morning, Miss Robinson." " Morning, William." "Workplace Romance Disclosure?" "Are you serious?" "After the Mo and Leon incident, we can't give the appearance of any impropriety." "Sure, mom, but isn't it a little late?" " I mean, she's having my baby." " Backdate it." "Look, mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you." "[sighs] I just don't get it." " You and Nina?" " What's not to get?" "She is a smart, beautiful powerhouse of a woman." "If it didn't sound creepy, I'd say she's just like you." "Well, she's one thing I am not." "Married." "Andrew and Nina haven't been happy in years." "We didn't mean for it to happen, mom." "We just fell in love." " So, you love her?" " I do." "Well, then I'm glad you're happy." "Let's hope it lasts forever 'cause I'm not going through this again." "[reporters clamoring]" "Nina?" "Nina?" "Who was the better bang?" "Andrew or Shawn?" " You're totally trending." " I'm mortified." "Uh, it's called being relevant, and now you are." "Look, I know the press can be really rude." "So, always make sure you tell them no comment." "And make sure you're always wearing underwear." "You don't want your V on TMZ." "[gasps] Hey, sweetie." " How are you holding up?" " Hm." " [cell phone vibrates]" " Oh." "Oh, it's Mo." "She says, "Damn." ""Maybe if I'd been bangin' the boss' son" "I would still be working there."" "Great." "[sighs] Poor Anna walking into this mess." "If she's anything like I was on my first day she's probably freaking out." "Although lucky her, she can pop a Xanax." "(Anna) I was Maxine's assistant." "I used to carry her crap every day." "Sometimes, literally." "Don't ask." "Anyway, I really feel for you." "I know you have a thankless job but I really appreciate what you do." "Well, thank you." " This is you." " Oh." "Let me know if you need anything." "I'll take an egg white omelet, a cranberry-orange muffin and a half-caf coffee, no cream." "And I need these fluorescents changed out for Edisons." "(Heather) No, you're supposed to look remorseful, not constipated." "She's right." "When I did "Dr. Phil" after my DUI" "I got face-coached and it really helped." "Well, I'm sorry, but this is my face." " Well, it's wrong." " Yeah, it's unfortunate." "Ugh!" "Whatever." "You know what?" "I am not gonna be talking about my, my, my... incident on the show." "This is the one hour I have to pretend it never happened." " Ugh." " Ugh." " Guys, I'm right here." " Eek." "I said side-swept, not a hurricane." "I thought your hairstyle should match your personality." " Hey, Anna." " Hi." "Welcome." "We haven't officially met." "Oh, it's so nice to meet you all." "Huge fan." "And I'm really looking forward to bringing back some gravitas to the panel." "Looks like I got here just in time." " Hi." "I'm Nina." " Hi." "I don't mean to be a diva, but you're in my chair." "I'm sorry." "This is a disaster." "We need to start over." "No, we need to wig you." "Nina?" "A word." "Is that code for office strippy?" "No." "I am not going on the show and talking about the..." " Situation." " Uh, listen to her." "Opportunity for personal growth." "That's how we're gonna present it to the viewers today." "Nina, here's your statement." "I don't need the Dollar Store version of Olivia Pope telling me what to say." "Try the $3000 an hour store." "And that's the friends and family rate." "Which is coming out of your inheritance." "Nina, you'll read the statement." "Are you sure that by doing this we're not calling more attention to this opportunity?" "It's a little too late to bury it." "Perhaps if you'd confided in me about the affair earlier th..." "Max, let it go." "This strategy will protect you two and Andrew because we don't get into any sordid details." "Nina, after you read the statement" "Maxine, you do the pivot." "We'll then turn it into a large discussion about gender politics." "Well, that sounds fair to Andrew." "So, I can live with that." "(Isabel) Trust me, this strategy worked for Bill Clinton, Hugh Grant, David Letterman..." "I'm real excited to have a woman." "We're gonna break the glass ceiling." "We finally got Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill and now this." "I'm a feminist hero." "Shawn, tell the other co-hosts the plan." "First, the statement, then the pivot." "Okay." "Let's start the face coaching." "That's a real thing?" "[sighs]" "You know, Anna, if you get nervous out there..." "Oh, not gonna happen." "I just finished reading "Power Of Now." That chair's my destiny." "Alright." "Well, our agreement still holds." " The book is dead." " As your late husband, Ted." "Oops!" "That's the last I'll ever mention it." "(Maxine) In all my years reporting the news" "I've interviewed presidents, princes and popstars." "But there are other voices that I wanted to be heard." "So, a decade ago, I created a show where women could sit down and say what's on their minds." "And, boy, did they ever?" "We have a real slice of American pie who puts faith and family first." "A Pulitzer Prize winning journalist with a passion for justice." "A child star who is all grown up." "Her POV is OMG." "And featuring special guest host, Anna Crouse." "And me." "Maxine Robinson." "I'm in the left chair every day at noon on "The Lunch Hour" where no topic is taboo." "Our guest co-host is very special to me." "She started as my assistant many, many, many years ago." "Okay." "It wasn't that many." "And then she left our little nest and made a big name for herself in print journalism." "Please welcome Anna Crouse." "Now, before we get started" "I need to address the elephant in the room." "I'm sure many of you were surprised by the recent news as was I. Nina, you have the floor." "Thank you, Maxine." "[no audio]" "My husband, Andrew and I are going through a very painful time." "'I regret any harm my actions may have caused." "I'm certainly not blameless, but I'm looking at this as an opportunity for personal growth." "Please, we ask for privacy during this difficult period." "Now, Nina, that must have been very hard for you." "Here comes the pivot." "But, what you're going through now does bring up the disparity in the way men and women are treated by the media." "Isabel, out." "So, if a woman makes a mistake hook-up." "Are we supposed to drag her out to the town square and read her a scarlet letter, like, Dear Slut." "Kibby, "The Scarlet Letter" is not that kind of letter." "It was a letter that they pinned on Hester Prynne's cloak." " A for adulterous." " Oh." "Guess I never got to that part of the book." "Showbiz education." "But, Kibby, I think you're right." "I mean, if a man cheats, it's a woman's fault for not keeping him happy." "In this case, Nina cheated." "Why isn't it Andrew's fault?" "Maybe he couldn't keep her happy?" "Well, I, I think what Anna means in the larger context..." "Certainly, something wasn't right in Nina's marriage." "I mean, I did read that the affair started after a protracted effort to get pregnant." "Was his impotence a factor?" "[indistinct murmuring]" " Impotence?" " Andrew." "I swear I had nothing to do with that." "Don't give me that BS." "You guys plan out every word you say." "I promise you, our marriage is now off limits on the show." "Good, otherwise you will not be happy with the consequences." " Do not threaten me." " I don't threaten, Nina." "If I hear one more word about me on air the world will find out what a fraud you are." "Great show." "So much fun out there." " If you sandbag me again..." " Look, I used to work here." "I know what it takes to keep a co-host at the roundtable." "You're not creating buzz, you're replaceable." "It's as simple as that." "No, it's not simple!" "It's my life." "You can shit stir all you want, but you keep me out of it." "But you're such an easy target right now." "[chuckles] It's not personal, it's just TV." "What happened out there?" "I did my face, my statement." " Where was your pivot?" " I pivoted." "And you let Anna walk all over you." "Well, I'm not the left chair." "I didn't love it either, but I'm not gonna muzzle her." "And that was the network." "They loved the show and Anna." "Said she stirred the pot quite nicely." " You even got a kudos." " Screw your kudos!" "I am not talking about Andrew or my marriage on the show again." "I will do my best to protect you." "But you've gotta step up your game, girl." "If Anna comes at you, you go at her!" "She's lovely." "Can't wait for Thanksgiving." "Nina?" "The problem is Anna." "She stepped out of line today." "Well, you know what I always say." " [bleep] Oprah." " Yes." "That and, everyone deserves a second chance." "I've never heard you say that in my entire life." "Well, I've turned over a new leaf." "So, big deal, I thought "The Scarlet Letter"" "was like a real letter." "Now Twitter is having an orgasm over what an idiot I am." "Oh, why do you spend so much energy worrying about strangers' opinions of you?" "They're not strangers, they're called trolls." "And some of them are friends of mine." "It's complicated." "I mean, I'm not an idiot." "I'm very well aware of what "The Scarlet Letter" is." "I just got like a detail wrong." "Well, yeah, but in fairness, the detail is the main subject." "And the title of the book." "Okay, now, you're trolling me." "Julian, I went to school in 20 minutes increments in between takes and fittings." "It's a little hard to concentrate, you know." "So, now you work like two hours a day." "Not including hair and makeup." "Why not expand your horizons?" "Use your time to do something proactive." "Take a class." "I already take spinning and yoga five days a week." "I know a dean at the university." "I bet he'd let you audit." "Ugh." "NY snooze." " The Olsen twins went there." " For like six months." "Well, why not try?" "If you're sensitive about your education maybe you'll have a little fun." "Alright, fine." "We'll do Heather's pirate party piece." " Thursday, third segment." " But that's the loser segment." "That's when all of our viewers go to the bathroom." " Okay." "We won't do it." " No, no, no!" "That's fine." "That's fine." "I love third segment." "I wanna do a segment on Olympic host cities and the after-effects of the games." "For example, Rio." " How are they a year later?" " Well, they're doing great." " I was there a few months ago." " For Carnival?" "No." "I was collaborating on a story about the the favelas." "You went to the favelas?" "Eh, that's really dangerous." "I may not have gone to Columbia J School but I like to get my hands dirty." "That's what real journalists do." "Oh, I'm aware." "I have a Pulitzer." "No." "Oh, I forgot." "Yeah, you haven't mentioned it in 30 minutes." "Maxine, I'd like to do a segment on GHP addiction and soccer moms." "GHP..." "Isn't that the date-rape drug?" "It is, but some people take it in tiny amounts and get super-scanny, which is idiotic because coke and speed work so much better." "Look at you, "Scarlet Letter." Wealth of knowledge." "Hostile, and FYI, I'm enrolled in college now so suck it." "Kibby, I wasn't making fun." "It's just, you're all so clearly branded." "So, I figured why not be the slightly abrasive loudmouth." "We just got rid of one of those." "Ladies, are we pitching or bitching or is this meeting finally over?" "Meeting adjourned." "Looks like you're making tons of friends." "Is that a problem?" "Last time I checked" "I had pretty good job security around here." "You're lucky." "(Heather) Kids, you'll be watching from the green room." "And, Savannah, no cheese." "Maxine, you look great." "Come here." "Oh." "Oh, so sorry I missed you at Heather's performance." "You know, I hate to miss any of my honey's events." "But, with my racing schedule and underwear tour, it's..." "But he made up for it with a big bouquet of yellow roses." " My favorite." " Daddy got mommy flowers?" "I didn't see any." "Well, you two make it all look so easy." " Where is Auntie Mo?" " I'm not quite sure, Brad Jr." "I think she's somewhere between Vegas and cultural oblivion." "See you out there on stage." "[chuckles] Why does she love you so much?" "Because I'm lovable." "Something that everyone else notices but you." "Okay." "Kids, run along." "Daddy has to show off his little undies." "You know, this picture's up in Times Square right now." "Oh, so your package is what, six, seven feet?" "Let's just say that my package is three pairs for 14.99." "All I know is my motor is revving' and ready to go." "[laughing] Oops." "Did I just say that out loud?" "Ew, Heath." "Pump the brakes." "Horny Heather is creepy." "Thank you for coming, Brad." "Always lovely to have you." " I'll see you later tonight." " Yeah, you will." "Brad has left us all hot and bothered but he also has left us a pair of his signature boxer briefs for every member of the audience." "Aw." "You know, Heather, it's so sweet how you guys are such soulmates." "I had to end my last relationship because in my heart, I just knew he wasn't the one." "You know what it's like not to be with the right person." "Don't you, Nina?" "Yes, uh, well, um" "Heather and Brad are an inspiration to all of us." "Has anybody been watching the playoffs?" "Can we just get a round of applause for Nina, please?" "I stand in awe of how she comes in here every day despite how she's been dragged through the mud." "Thank you, but let's keep my personal life private." "You're right." " We shouldn't talk about this." " Moving on..." "But, I just wanna say one last thing." "It's unfair." "Andrew is gonna go on unscathed by this scandal but" " your credibility is forever ruined." " That's enough." "Nina will come out stronger on the other side." " She's a fighter." " I hope you're right, Maxine." "But odds are, people are just gonna remember her as the woman who had a baby with her boss who cheated on her oblivious husband." "Okay!" "That's it!" "Unfortunately, Nina has fallen ill with the flu." "Nina?" "Nina, what are you doing?" "Nina, stop." "Okay." "Cool." "Let's talk." "She's leaving." "Yo, hey, Nina." "Are you crazy?" "We're mid-show." "You don't need me." "You've got Anna." "I am done and it feels great." "Now, I can eat, I can sleep late not wear any makeup, eat!" "I can finally finish watching "House Of Cards."" " I can eat!" " You're being ridiculous." "No, you are!" "That woman is vicious and you are keeping her on this show." "It's Maxine." "She's got her hard on for her." "But why?" "She's turning this show into "Jerry Springer!"" "Everything that your mother hates." "I know." "I'll talk to Maxine." "Just come back." "Not until your mother's little project is gone." "Taxi!" "So, Dostoyevsky's "Crime And Punishment."" "Now, this book delves into the themes of morality." "You mind telling us the purpose of what you're doing?" "[laughter]" "No, I'm good." "As I was saying... [indistinct chatter]" "So, enlighten me." "Why are people taking pictures of you?" "Uh, not to be weird, but I'm kind of a big deal." "I was on this TV show "Lacey From Outer Spacey."" " I don't have a TV." " Okay." "We get it." "You're so smart." "I bet you even have a real prescription on those glasses." "No, I can assure you, I have a wicked astigmatism." "[chuckles] Well, I know what they say about guys with thick glasses." "I'm sorry, I don't know where I'm going with this." "This is a safe space." "You don't have to edit yourself here." "Cool." "I mean, I love to learn stuff, obvi." "But this "Crime And Punishment" is basically impossible to understand, so..." " It's challenging material." " Well, I'm here to do the work." "That's great." "How can I help?" "[moaning]" "She went off script, she won't shut up, she's a livewire." "A loose cannon is great TV." "Sorry, we're keeping her." "Trust me, Nina won't come back until your protege is gone." "Nina has worked in war-torn countries." "I think she can handle a little office politics." "Ma, this is on you." "You were supposed to protect Nina out there and you didn't." "Well, I had other things to protect." "Other things?" "Oh." "That's right." "So, it's about the rating." "It's always about the ratings." "Humid today, huh?" "Don't you try to make me feel guilty for protecting my show." "I work my ass off for it and you benefit from all my hard work." "If you feel guilty, it's not because of me it's because you know you're wrong about Anna." "[elevator dings]" "Let me break it down for you." "You and Nina put my show in jeopardy!" "You thought with your dick." "Now I'm thinking with mine." "You're such a bitch." "Loyalty." "I expect loyalty from my son." "Shawn was being loyal to Nina." "As long as Anna's on the show, Shawn's gonna feel like you're putting her before the woman he loves." "But I'm his mother." "Doesn't that count for something?" "Not anymore." "Things are changing." "Look, I know it's not your strong suit but you're going to have to adjust." "What am I supposed to do?" "I can't just fire Anna." "Besides she's bringing in a lot more game than I anticipated." "But beneath those Spanx and that Ann Taylor LOFT suit that twitching mess still lurks." "I can feel it." "Whatever." "You're gonna have to find a way to fix things with Nina." "[sighs]" "She's your family now." "[knock on door]" "I brought you chicken soup." " Chicken soup?" " For your flu." "Nina, I am new at this mother-in-law stuff but you are a huge asset to "The Lunch Hour."" " Go on." " And I want you to come back." "Well, that's very kind of you." "But if Anna brings up Andrew again" "I will walk out and this time for good." "Talking about your private life is part of the gig, girl." "And why do you wanna protect Andrew if you're done with him?" " Hm." "It's, it's complicated." " Well, try me." "I thought I can keep my marital problems off the show spare Andrew that humiliation and then Anna just starts to pour salt on the wounds." "Why do you care about Andrew's feelings now?" "Why not before, when you were cheating on him with my son?" "I didn't plan on falling in love with your son, Maxine but I did." "And I've made some big mistakes." "Andrew is capable of playing very dirty." "Of finding ways to slander people, to discredit people." " You have anything to hide?" " He's running for office." "If we can't keep this off the show he will go nuclear and come after me." "So, you do have something to hide." "No!" "No, he'll trump something up." "Shawn and the show will become collateral damage." "Why are you so invested in Anna?" "Do you really want that rude, vile basket case on the show?" "It's also complicated." "Well, I did some digging around on Anna and I came up with some information that can be very..." "I already found that info on my own but I can't use it." "I need plausible deniability." " Maybe I can help you." " Maybe I can help you." "Maybe there's a scenario in which Andrew would actually welcome coming to the show to discuss the end of your marriage." "I can't imagine what that would be." "Well, you don't need to." "Leave it to me." "I will get you out of the frying pan and put Andrew in the fire and your hands won't get the least bit dirty." "Look at us, helping each other out." "Well, we're family now." "Let's eat some chicken soup." "Turns out "Lunch" lady, Nina Sandoval had reason to leave Democratic-hopeful Andrew Weller." "The worldwide web, and the entire world has caught him with his pants down." "An anonymous source released this photo that Wellers..." "Maxine doesn't play around." " Come on, take a look." " No, Kibby." "Get that penis away from me." "It's a massive invasion of privacy." "Okay, I looked." "I totally looked." "Can you believe Nina cheated on this?" "Well, in my experience, the biggest dicks are usually the biggest dicks." "I disagree." "I had some big D yesterday and it was attached to a pretty great guy." "Didn't you go to college yesterday?" "Yeah, I met him in English class." "He's super smart." "He can help me with my homework." "Well, doesn't matter how big or how smart." "Once a politician's dick pic is leaked, they're over." "[gasps] Nina!" " Oh, good you're back." " We missed you." "Oh, listen, I'm sorry I walked out yesterday." " It was totally unprofessional." " I so get it." "When I was pregnant with Savannah" "I drove over Brad's foot." "[chuckles] His face." "Ah!" " Hey." " Hey, look who's back." "I gotta admit, I've never been so excited to see another man's junk." "Well, Andrew is busy with his own public scandal now, so..." "Guess that chicken soup worked." "Excited for today's show?" " Can't wait." " Hey, mom..." " You need to apologize." " I was just being real." "Apologize." "And that's how you throw a pirate-themed birthday party, lady." "Argh!" "Can I just say that this is the best third segment on a Thursday that we have, like, ever done?" " Hey, Heather." " Maxine, before we go on." "I was wondering if I could address the audience." "Oh, this is unexpected, but go right on..." "Unexpected?" "Well, no, of course, she's gotta say something about Andrew and his selfie porn." "Well, that is Andrew's business, not a euphemism." "But what I was referring to was actually something interesting that you brought up yesterday, Anna." "What?" "The unfair double standard that is placed on women versus men." " I think it's disgraceful." " Yes." "And your passion about the subject is understandable after the way you were treated at the "LA Chronicle."" "Yes." "Yes." "I think every female journalists suffers." "We're given the lifestyle articles and men are given hard news." " It's systemic sexism." " Why don't you start a blog?" "The other day I was speaking to some of my friends who worked with Anna and I have to say, Anna" "I am so impressed with how you handled your situation." "You had your own personal workplace crisis and you came through the other side." " That is inspiring." " I'm here to inspire." "Ha ha ha." "Kibby, you know, blogs are the future." "Future like what you thought you had with your co-worker." "I mean, yes, it was just a drunken dalliance at a parking lot after a Christmas party but still, he had no right to accuse you of stalking him." "Listen, baby brain, you've got things mixed up." "Oh, you're right, I am confused because the police report said that you stalked your colleague and his wife on their trip to Rio." "We were there together on assignment." "Heather, uh, don't you have any more pirate placemats to show..." "No, he was there on assignment with his wife who you attacked in a hotel bar." "Again, that's just what the police report is saying." "He was gonna leave her for me." "Wouldn't that be hard with a restraining order?" "Shut up!" "Shut up!" "He said he loved me." "[gasps]" "[Anna sobbing]" "Unfortunately, Anna has fallen ill with the flu." "It pains me to say this, but the network has decided not to offer you a permanent seat at the roundtable." "Like you don't have sway at the network." "Oh, that's right, I decided not to offer you a permanent seat at the roundtable." "Not after that meltdown out there." "We are the ladies of "The Lunch Hour."" " Not "The Real Housewives."" " You set me up." "I did no such thing." "You know what, Maxine, the deal is off." "Suddenly I feel like writing." "Well, when the muse calls, better answer." " Hey, hey." " Hey!" "What's to eat?" "The slugger here worked up a big appetite." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "I hit a home run during practice." "What?" "Well..." "We need to go out and get pizza to celebrate." "Hey, Savannah, will you show me how to upload these pictures to Instagram?" "I want everyone to see my boy." "So, you really like baseball now?" "Yeah, I like playing." "But I wish daddy would let me play on the girls' team." "Then why don't you tell daddy?" "Because it makes him happy." "I'm pretending like you and daddy." " We don't pretend." " Yeah, you guys are all kissy." "And then say mean things to each other when nobody's looking." "We ready for pizza?" "No." "Go play with your sister." "What's goin' on?" "I can't pretend anymore." "Peppermint tea, huh?" " Your ulcer acting up again?" " [bleep] you." "Oh, don't get mad at me." "I didn't leak your picture." "Go on, trace it." "It'll never come back to me." "My campaign's in the toilet now." "I'll never recover." "And you know it's not my dick." " Do I?" " Come on." "Oh, right, yours is a lot smaller." "I suppose I could use this as an opportunity for personal growth." "I will help you win that congressional seat and then you will back the hell off of anything you have on me." "(Nina) I can say from my vast experience and intimate knowledge that the picture in question is not Andrew." "To be clear, that is not his penis." "And now, the pivot." "This is just another example of the dirty and underhanded politics played by my opponent." "The people of New York deserve better than that." "Jesus, mom, you really will do anything for ratings." "I'm just so lucky to have Nina to come out with the truth." "After the recent turmoil, I just felt like it was my responsibility to set the record straight." "And even though our marriage is over" "I still continue to love and respect this man." "That's why Andrew is just what New York needs, come November." "That's, that's great." "Mom, anything else we can do for this SOB?" "Are we canvasin' the Upper West Side?" "And I wanna take this opportunity to wish Nina the best in her new life." "You better thank your mom for cleaning up this mess." "(Andrew) Nina's so dedicated to helping people that I know she'll be a wonderful mother." "Mom, I've been a real ass." "I'm sorry." "Let's get one thing straight." "You are my baby and I will fight anyone who tries to hurt you." " Thank you." " But the show is my other baby." "Isabel, could I get your number?" "It's for a friend." "[chuckles] Sure." "Here you go." " Isabel." " Max." "Your show's a goldmine." "It's gonna pay for my bathroom renovation." "I want a Japanese toilet." "If you're thinking about a career change there's always an open chair for you." "It's so much more interesting behind the cameras." "Good job, Max." "Isabel, out." "[indistinct chatter]" "Thank you for your support." "Hey, Shawn." "Can I get a minute?" "I just wanna say thank you so much." "For what?" "For taking that duplicitous snake off my ass." " She's all yours now." " Just get the hell out of here." "Oh, I'm goin." "But think about it." "If Nina could lie to her husband about a baby what else could she be lyin' about?" "Don't ever let me catch you anywhere near my family again." "Ask her about the Pulitzer." "Don't forget to vote." "Alright, read Part II, Chapter 6 and 7." "See you Thursday." " It's really hard." " Don't get frustrated with him." "It's challenging material." "Hey, uh, Professor Casey." "Just a second, Kibby." "And you could always drop in anytime during my office hours." " Thanks." "I'll see you there." " Great." "Oh, is he asking you to meet him in his office?" "Make sure you're on the pill and good luck if you want an orgasm." "This book is stupid AF." "Whoa!" "Okay, now pace yourselves." "So, listen, guys, we are gonna be staying in Auntie Mo's apartment in the city for a while." " Fun." " Is daddy coming?" "Nope, just us." "It'll be a big adventure." "We'll go to Broadway shows and Central Park..." "Are you and daddy getting divorce?" "Oh, uh..." "Mommy just needs some time to figure things out." " Okay." " How much time?" "Why, I'm, I'm not sure." "Uh..." " Do you want some ice cream, mommy?" " Yeah, yes, I do." "Ice cream makes everything better." "Oh, excuse me, could we get extra hot fudge for this?" "Yes, ma'am." " Jane!" " Oh, God!" " Are you stalking me?" " No." "No, your assistant said I could find you here." "I've left you several messages." "I wanna start the book back up." "I'm afraid it's a hard pass from us." "Everyone in town saw "The Lunch Hour" today." "And now you want to write a tell all book about Maxine Robinson?" "No, you want this book." "Listen, I'm this close to getting some real dirt on her." "It doesn't matter." "No one will believe you now." " We're done." " Oh." "Congratulations, you're the first person to be expelled from an extension course." "It's your fault for making me go in the first place." "I told them that you were experiencing some work stress." "You're lucky that book didn't hit the professor." " I wish it did." " Kibby, what happened?" "He was a total skeeve." "We were talking after class." "He said I could come by for tea or some crap in his office and I did and then he totally came on to me." "Oh, God, that, that's so inappropriate." " Completely." " So, what did you do?" "I mean, when he came on to you." "We talked about it and then we made out and had sex." " What?" " He's kind of nerdy cute." "The leather chair and all the books made it seem intelligent." "This was before I knew what an asshole he was, obviously." "I'm confused." "I kind of have a thing for older guys." "He's an older guy in a position of authority." " That's okay with you?" " I'm not some victim, Julian." "Big deal." "I screwed my professor who's a jerk." "I-I suck at relationships, we already know this." "Okay, except that's not really a relationship." "I don't need dating advice from you." " You're just my sober coach." " Okay." "Okay." "But, hey, maybe your substance abuse problems are tied to some emotional stuff." "I'm a really sexual person." "Get over it." "And even if she did convince someone to publish her book it would just look like the rantings of some obsessive woman." "Then you can finally take a breath and enjoy your expanding family." "Ohh!" "I can't wait to take the little one to Paris." "Every spring, it's gonna be our thing." "[chuckles] You know I was tellin' Shawn when he found out that, you just needed time to get used to the grandma thing." "[chuckles]" "Wait, Shawn told you?" "Oh." "You knew and you didn't tell me?" "Because Shawn confided in me." "Well, you should be confiding in me." " And break Shawn's trust?" " What about my trust?" "Shawn's been like a son to me." "Well, what am I?" "That's the age old question." "What are we?" " You betrayed me, William." " Do you hear yourself?" "This is exactly why Shawn doesn't tell you things." "The sun doesn't rise and set on you, Maxine." "I'll see myself out." "(Ted on tape) You bitch." "(Maxine) Ted, I think you've had enough." "(Ted) Who the hell do you think you are?" "There." "That's Maxine Robinson shrieking." "Ruining the recording of my beautiful etude." "Philip, I've told you 20 times" "I can't verify when or where this tape was recorded." "It was 11:40 on the night that Ted died in the tragic accident." "Maxine Robinson said she didn't get home till midnight." "I know and found her poor husband dead on the floor." " But that's not what happened." " It's your word against hers." "But now it's also the word of Hector the doorman on duty that night." "He was in the lobby starting at 11:30 p.m." "and did not see anyone enter until 12:15 when the EMTs arrived." " No Maxine." " She was already upstairs." "What do you think Maxine was doing for those 45 minutes?" "Killing her husband." "So, why is Hector bringing this up now?" "Because no one ever asked him before." "The mighty Maxine Robinson said it was an accident." "So, there was never a real investigation." "Was her husband a buddy of yours?" "Oh, God, no." "He was a nasty piece of work." "A swindler." "They deserved each other." "Then what's it to you?" "Would you feel safe living next door to a murderess?" "One who is rude, unkind to animals." "Detective, I worked for Maxine for three years." "She is cruel and capable of anything." "Isn't this at least worth looking into?" "Or do you really think someone should get away with murder just because they're rich and famous?" "Alright." "What else do you have?" "Well, ahem." " I love you, babe." " You better." "After everything we've been through." "Well, if we're gonna be together we're gonna have to trust each other." " I trust you." " Andrew said something." "About your Pulitzer." " Oh..." " Nina, just tell me." " I don't want you to hate me." " Never." "I love you." "[sighs] I was in Columbia reporting on the cartel." "And, I met another reporter who had been in country for months investigating human trafficking." "One night he went out to meet a source and he never came back." "And what happened?" "It was a pretty dangerous time for journalists." "You know, he just disappeared, went missing." "He was working on this unbelievable story that had to be told." " So, I told it." " How?" "He had shared a draft with me and I finished it and I put my name on it." " How could you do that?" " The story would have died." "And it helped so many people." "Nina, my mother hired you because of your Pulitzer." "Now, you're telling me that it belongs to some dead guy whose article you stole." "It was one transgression in an otherwise pretty illustrious career." "Transgression?" "It's plagiarism." "You have to come clean." "We'll tell my mom, we'll get Isabel to spin it..." "No, I can't." "My Pulitzer will be revoked." "Uh, it should be because you stole it from a dead guy." "Can't you just leave it alone?" " It's irrelevant at this point." " No, it's not." "You've made me, my mother, and the show complicit in your lie." " Nina, you gotta come clean." " My career would be over." "Good to know where your priorities are." "You know, Andrew was right." " You will do anything." " You're gonna listen to him." "He seems to know you better than I do." "Next time on Daytime Divas..." " Meet our new guest co-host." " Cecile James." "I normally don't set people up but this guy is perfect for you." " Why would I throw a party?" " You have a year of sobriety." "Do you know how many people don't even make it to a year?" "I can't believe Brad would do that to you." "I guess that's why he didn't show up to couple's counseling." "Do I need to worry about another man knowing my secret?" "Even I can tell something's wrong between you and Nina." " Say what you wanna say, Shawn." " You don't want me to." "Wonder if I could ask you a few questions about Ted Windsor?" "We have got a big problem."