"(musicplaying)" "Man #1:" "Ifyouhadachoice..." "Man #2:" "Yeah?" "...wouldyourather lovea girl, orhaveher loveyou?" "I'dwantit mutual." "Ifyoucouldn't haveitmutual." "WouldI ratherbe  theonewholoves, orisloved?" "Yeah." "It'snotthat easya question." "IthinkI'drather beinlove." "Me,too." "Iwouldn'twant togethurt,though." "Youwerein love withGloria." "Iwasstarting tobein lovewithher,  thensheletmefeel herup onthefirstdate." "Turnedmerightoff ." "Youkeptgoing withher,though." "Well,sheletme feelherup ." "(bothchuckling)" "Yeah,what aboutGwen?" "HerI couldtalkto." "I'veneverbeenable totalkto anygirl." "Iwasreallygetting crazyabouther." "She'sstuckup ." "Wouldn'tletme  laya handon her." "SoI wentback toGloria." "Well,youwant perfection." "Whatdoyouwant, wiseguy?" "Shejusthasto benice,that'sall ." "Youwouldn't wantherbeautiful?" "Shedoesn'thave tobebeautiful." "Iwouldlikeher  built,though." "Iwantmine sexy-looking." "Iwouldn'twanther  tolooklikeatramp." "Sexydoesn'tmean shehasto look likea tramp." "There'sa middleground, youknow?" "Iwouldwant that,yeah." "Tall,verytall..." "Eww,that wouldscareme ." "(bothchuckling)" "Sheshouldbe very understanding." "Startthesame sentencestogether." "Yeah,I 'dlikethat." "Bigtits... (bothchuckling)" "Yeah,but stilla virgin." "Idon'tcare aboutthat." "Comeon." "Iwouldn'tmind ifshewasalittle aheadofme , withthosebigtits, andknewhundreds ofdifferentways." "Iwantmore ofa companion." "Theotherstuff Icangeton theoutside." "Thefirsttime Idoit ," "Iwantit beautiful." "Idon'twantto wasteiton somebeast." "Ifeelthesameway aboutgettinglaid asI feelabout goingtocollege." "I'mbeingpressured intoit." "( whispered conversation )" "You like that?" "Yeah." "I give her to you." "What's wrong with her?" "I'm a generous guy." "Yeah, I'm grateful." "How do I break the news to her?" "You go over there." "Yeah?" "There's a way to talk to girls, you know?" "Tell her a joke." "What joke?" "Tell her about your unhappy childhood." "That's not bad." "But don't make it like an act." "No." "Go ahead." "Go ahead, schmuck." "If you don't, I will." "You?" "You can't even stand up." "I fucked up." "It's my turn." "What do you mean, it's your turn?" "She's mine, you gave her to me." "You struck out." "I get two more times at bat." "This is the first time" "I've ever been to a college mixer." " Me too." "I hate them." " I hate them too." "It's such a phony way of meeting people." "Everybody puts on an act." "So, even if you meet somebody, you don't know who you're meeting." "'Cause you're meeting the act." "That's right, not the person." "I'm not sure I agree." " With what?" " With what you said." "No, I don't either." "You don't agree with what you said?" "How do you feel about it?" "I think people only like to think they're putting on an act, but it's not an act, it's really them." "If they think it's an act, they feel better, because they think they can always change it." "You mean, they're kidding themselves, because it's not really an act." "Yes, it is an act, but they're the act." "The act is them." "But if it's them, then how can it be an act?" " Because they're an act." " But they're also real." " No." " I'm not real?" " No." " I'm an act." "It's all right, I'm an act too." "Don't you behave differently with different people?" "No." "With your family?" "I thought you meant different people." "Well, sure, with my family" "And with friends, you're another way." "Well, sure, with my friends." "And with your teachers, you're still another way." "So which one is you?" "Well, when you put it that way..." "You ought to be a lawyer." "I'm gonna be a lawyer." "A lady lawyer." "Um... you're from Smith, right?" "Uh-huh." "Do you like it?" "Yeah, I like it all right." "Do you like Amherst?" "Sure, why shouldn't I?" "My parents worked very hard to send me." "I'd better like it." "Do you have a name or something?" "Susan." "I'm Sandy." "I think you can make out with her." "Think so?" "She's stuff." "You think so?" "I wouldn't kick her out of bed." "I shouldn't try somebody else, then?" "Who?" "( both laughing )" "She was the best-looking girl at the whole mixer." "I'll say that for her..." "Wasn't she?" "Her tits were too small." "Yeah, I was thinking that." "The hell with her." "But her legs were great." "You think so?" "Standing so close, I really couldn't tell about her legs." "I wouldn't kick her out of bed." "She's got some funny ideas." "I wouldn't kick her out of bed." "Don't rush me, please." "What's the matter?" "I like you very much, Susan." "It's our third date." "I like you too." "You let me kiss you last week." "And this week." "If I could kiss you once last week," "I should be able to kiss you at least twice tonight." " Well?" " You're the only boy" "I know that I can talk to." "I can't see you being quiet for any guy." "No, not quiet, exactly." "But if you know somebody's not going to approve of what you are..." " Whatever that is." " Whatever that is." "Well, you just don't tell him." "I mean, if I like a boy and I want him to keep liking me, and I'm brighter than he is," "I have to not show it or I'll lose him, so it's hard." "Well, I wouldn't want anyone overly bright." "Yeah, but you wouldn't feel threatened." "I might be bothered a little." "I don't think you would nearly as much as some people." "Now, for instance, someday I want to write novels." "Not now, but you know, later on, when I have something to say." "Now, that doesn't threaten you, does it?" " No..." " ( bell tolling )" "Maybe a little." "Don't press so hard." "See, it's better when it's gentle." "See?" "What are you grinning at?" "Did you feel her up yet?" "Come on, I like this girl." "I don't want to ruin things." "Was I right about kissing her?" "Listen, we had a big fight over it." "And you won?" "Well, I don't know if I won or not." "Why are you letting yourself be pushed around?" "You're the one who's pushing me around!" "I guess I won." "Sure, I won." "She kissed me five times." "Now, that's when you should've put your hand on her tit." "Come on, when this girl's nice enough to kiss me," "I should do that to her?" "You act as if she's doing you a favor." "Well, it is sort of a favor, isn't it?" "I mean, when a girl lets you kiss her and, you know, go on from there." "Feel her up and, you know, the rest of it." "Go all the way and the rest of it." "I mean, isn't it a favor?" "What's in it for her?" "I mean, if she's not getting paid or anything." "Fuck you." "( laughing )" "Okay, okay, I'll feel her up." "Sandy, please take your hand off my breast." " Why?" " 'Cause I want you to." "How can it be any fun for you if you know I don't want it?" "I didn't say it was fun." "Then why is your hand where it is?" "Because, the way we're going, by this time," "I should be feeling you up." "I don't feel that way about you, Sandy." "I feel that way about you." "Well, you want me to feel something for you too, don't you?" "I thought you liked me." "I do like you, but I like you for other reasons." "So..." "So... if we went any further, there wouldn't be those reasons anymore." "Well, we might have something else, though." "What?" "Something else." "You're the first girl I've ever done that to, Susan." "( sighs )" "I didn't know that." "It doesn't show?" "No." "( sighs )" "Well, it's something we both have to go through, I guess." "Susan, are you a virgin?" "What do I do with my other hand?" "What are you gonna do with your hands?" "Jonathan:" "Andthenwhat?" "Sandy:" "Shetoldme to take myhandoffher breast." " What did you do?" " I said I didn't want to." "Then what?" "She said how could it be fun for me if she didn't like it?" "Oh, Jesus." " I said I thought she liked me." " Yeah?" "She said, "I like you for other reasons."" "Other reasons?" "So, I told her how I really needed this." "What did you tell her?" "You know, that it was my first time." "Your first time what?" "What did you say exactly?" "I don't remember exactly." "That she was the first girl I ever tried to feel up." " You told her that?" " Was it a mistake?" "I wouldn't." "Then she got nicer to me." "What do you mean nicer?" "She put my hand on her breast." "You mean you put it on, she left it there." "No, she picked it up and put it on." "She took your hand like this?" "And put it on like this?" "That's right." "So, I didn't know what to think." "You didn't, huh?" "For just wanting to be friends, she's suddenly getting pretty aggressive." "Yeah, then what?" "I asked her if she was a virgin." " You're kidding." " Was that a mistake?" "Anyhow, she is." "She says." "So now you got, what, one hand or two hands on her tits?" "By this time, she's put the other hand on the other one." "She put both hands on?" "Two hands?" "So I said, "What are you gonna do with your hands?"" "You didn't say that." "It just came out." "Yeah, then what?" "Let me see if I got this." "She unzipped my fly." "Bullshit artist!" "Then what?" "Then what?" "Then she did it." "Did what?" "Bullshit artist!" "She really did that to you?" " She did that?" " Yeah." "( both laughing )" "Hello, is this Susan?" "Well, you don't know me." "I'm a friend of Sandy's." "His roommate." "Yeah, Jonathan." "He told you about me?" "Yeah, so, I'm just here at Smith for tonight, practically on campus." "I was just taking a drive, you know, and I found myself practically on campus." "How do you like Smith?" "What's your major?" "Where did you go to high school?" "What do you do in the summer?" "Do you always answer a question with a question?" "Do you always date your best friend's girlfriends?" "Sandy told me you were beautiful." "He told me you were sexy." "I guess he's just a poor judge." "I guess he meant you had personality." "Good grief." "You have a special quality." "I like girls who are special." "I'm hardly that special." "Some people you can tell about right away." "Most girls I talk to it's like we're spies from foreign countries and we're speaking in code." "Everything means something else." "Like, I say, "Would you like to take a walk?"" "And it means something else." "And she says, "I can't." "I've got a French test tomorrow."" "And it means something else." "And you say, "I'll come over and help you study."" "And it means something else." "You're very sharp, I like that." "And that means something else." "You're too sharp." "Does that bother you?" "It interests me." "Is that more code?" "We'd be good together." "I'm dating your best friend." "He won't mind." " How do you know?" " I won't tell him." "What if I mind?" "You want to go out Friday?" "I'm seeing Sandy." "Saturday?" "I have a date." "Sunday?" "I'm seeing my folks." "Where do they live?" "Newton." "Sunday night?" "I'llbetootired." "I'll help you get over your folks." "How about it, Susan?" "What are you so afraid of?" "Not you." "(belltolling)" "I think I'm in love." "Mmm..." "IthinkI'minlove ." "Bullshit artist." "I really think so." "Did you get in yet?" "What's that got to do with it?" "How do you know if you don't know how you are in bed together?" "Well, that's not everything." "It's a lot." "She tells me thoughts I didn't even know I had until she tells them to me." "It's unbelievable." "I can talk to her." "You can talk to me too." "Are you in love with me?" "I can say things to her" "I wouldn't dare say to you." "What, for instance?" "Things you'd laugh at." "I'm laughing now." "( laughing )" "She thinks I'm sensitive." "Sensitive?" "( laughs )" "Sensitive?" "Oh, boy!" "Whoa-ho!" "What do you talk to her about, flowers?" "Books." "Books?" "You phony," "I read more books than you do." "Yeah, well, I'm gonna start." "I'm reading "The Fountainhead."" ""The Fountainhead." What's that?" "It's her favorite book." "You ever hear of "Jean-Christophe"?" "What's that?" "It's a classic, you moron." "Gonna read it after "The Fountainhead."" "Yeah, you ever read "Guadalcanal Diary"" " by Richard Tregaskis?" " No." "That was a best seller and I read it." "Ever read "Gentleman's Agreement"" "by Laura Z. Hobson?" "You ever read "A Bell For Adano" by John Hersey?" "I'm gonna read everything from now on." "I read more than you do." "So who's the one who's sensitive?" "You or me?" "Come on, who's sensitive?" "I've had a very messed-up childhood." "What does your father do?" "He fails." " ( chuckles )" " It's not funny." "I'm sorry." "Were you very poor?" "My father couldn't hold on to a job." "He kept giving me advice." "The more he failed, the more advice I got." "He's a Communist, my father." "We're Republicans." "Sometimes I think I'm a Communist, though." "Me, too." "We have so much, and other people have, you know, so little." "After I get set up as a lawyer, what I'd really like to do is go into politics, public service." "What really gets me is I was too young to fight in the war, because what was that all about except to prove that if everybody pitches in, the plain people have a chance." "So, even though I'm the first in my family to get an education," "I don't ever want to forget where I came from." "You're a lot more serious than I thought." "I know." "Sandy:" "Where did you meet her?" "Jonathan:" "I'm another person with her." "You wouldn't recognize me." "The things that come out of my mouth." "Boy, she really sounds like something." "Is she built?" "She's, uh..." "she's got a quality." "She doesn't talk much, but the things she says are so sharp." "We should double-date sometime." "Well..." "I want to know her a little better, you know, before we double-date." "Gee, isn't it great?" "A month ago, neither of us even knew a girl." "What'shername?" "Myrtle." "( Susan gasping )" "( moaning )" "Bullshit artist!" "( whooping )" "You're kidding!" "You're not kidding me?" "You really did it!" "You bastard!" "You beat me to it!" "What's up?" "( laughing )" "Next is my turn." "I don't think she'll do it, Sandy." "She will." "I've just been taking it easy on her." "Sandy, believe me, find somebody else." "Are you crazy, when I'm right on the verge?" "I'll see her tomorrow night." "Uh, Sandy?" "Yeah." "Do you ever talk to her about me?" "Yeah, sure, sometimes." "Do me a favor, will you?" "What?" "Don't tell her I got laid." "Please, Susan." "Sometimes I want to do it, and a second later, I don't want to do it." "Let's do it." "I don't know why you put up with me." "I don't think I can do it." "It really hurts, Susan." "Let me" "Not anymore." "Please, Sandy." "Not anymore." "Susan, let's do it." "I love you." "Do you have anything?" "How long have you had that?" " Not too long." " ( bell tolling )" "Not a year or anything?" "I'm sure it's okay." "I don't wanna take any chances." "These things have to be okay." "It's okay." "I'm positive it's okay." "Jonathan:" "It's as if you're the first guy in history who ever got laid." "Sandy:" "I'm the first guy in my history who ever got laid." "I like it too, but you don't hear me crowing about it." "There's such a thing as good taste, you know?" " What's the matter with you?" " Jeez!" "After you started scoring, what did I get out of you?" ""We did it standing, sitting, in the car, under the car." "Myrtle, Myrtle, Myrtle..."" "Maybe you forget, but I knew Susan before you knew Myrtle, and who scored first?" "You." "That didn't make me feel very good, you know?" "In fact, it made me feel very jealous." "But did I try to shut you up?" "Did I say, "I'm tired of hearing about it already"?" "I didn't say it, 'cause I'm your friend, so I sat through it." "Okay, okay." "You made your point." "Sometimes I think I'm a better friend to you than you are to me." "(musicplaying)" "( laughing )" "Sandy:" "Didn'tyou everdothat?" "Ofcourse,I..." "Iknewwhatthe word "misled"meant." "Ijust didn'tknow... ( laughing )" "So,whenIfirst sawitin print," "Ithoughtit  was" myzeled"!" "Hehadbeen "myzeled."" "Ikeptwondering, whatdoesthis wordmean?"Myzeled"?" "Jonathan:" "Sexy." "Let's"myzle."" "Hasanybodyeverheard of" RoundJohnVirgin"?" "Oneoftheguys in" RobinHood."" "That's Little John!" "Whatdidyousay ?" "RoundJohn...?" "RoundJohnVirgin." "Isthat inFalstaff?" ""Round John Virgin mother and child."" "RoundJohnVirgin mother...?" "¶ Holy infant so tender and mild ¶" "Allright, gunshee." "Gunshee?" "G-u-n-s-h-y, gunshee." "Gun-shy..." "Ialwaysthought itwasgunshee." "Susan,dotheone  aboutthebear." "You'lllove this,John." "Oh, yeah, the hymn we used to sing in church about the bear with crossed eyes?" "Whose name was Gladly." "Gladlythebear?" "Don't you know it?" "Gladly the cross-eyed bear." "Gladlythecross-eyed bear,getit ?" "Gladlythecross..." "oh,Gladlythe cross-eyedbear!" "(laughing)" "Allright, pronouncethis:" "c-h-o-p-h-o-u-s-e." "Chophuse..." "Chophus...?" "( laughing )" "Chophouse." "( laughing )" "This has to stop." "I don't know how to tell him." "You don't have any trouble telling him a lot of other things." " What does that mean?" " The way you talk to him." "I don't ever hear you talking to me that way." "What way?" "I don't know." "He's very vulnerable." "I don't want to hurt him." "You're hurting me." "He loves me." "That's no reason to go to bed with him." "You would have just gone on, wouldn't you, if he hadn't told me?" "I don't know." "I would have never known a thing about it." "I don't know, maybe." "Boy, you're really something." "I don't feel like something." "I feel like nothing." "How much longer do you expect me to take this?" "I'm trying to tell him." "I see how you're trying." "It's not my fault." "I don't enjoy these fights." "Listen, it's me you're supposed to be in love with." " I'm gonna tell him." " What?" " I'm gonna tell him about you and me." " No, Jonathan!" "Why don't you give me some of the understanding that you give to him?" "You're stronger." "You tell him everything else." "You can tell him about us." "What do you mean, I tell him everything?" "Who says so?" "He tells me, he's my best friend." "Are you going to tell him?" "He's so helpless." "Susan, I love you." "Why can't you be more with me like you are with Sandy?" "( chuckling ) She says she's no good for me." "Maybe she's trying to let you down easy." "( laughing )" "Go ahead and laugh." "It adds up." "( laughing )" "Go ahead and laugh." "You know every mood of mine like you know every mood of his." " No." " How come?" " I don't know." " You don't tell me thoughts I never knew I had." " Does he say I do that?" " Yes." " Then I guess I must." " You do it all right, so do it with me." "I can't." "You can do it with him, you can do it with me." "Now tell me my thoughts." " I can't." " Why can't you?" "I can't with you." "This has gone far enough." "I cannot stand any more ultimatums." "This is my last one." "Now, tonight, you tell him about us, or tomorrow, I tell him." "Look at me, Susan!" "Now tell me my goddamn thoughts!" "Hello." "You didn't do it, did you?" "No." "Whynot?" "He looks at me with such trust." "HowdoI lookatyou?" "With bitterness." "Itusedto be trust." "Atleast youknowmy thoughts." "Did you tell him?" "Whatdoyouthink?" "No." "So,what dowedo now?" "( clears throat ) I don't know." "I guess I get an ultimatum." "Doyouthinkthere's anysensein this?" "In what?" "Inyouandme." "That's up to you." "No,it'sup to you." "Idon'tsee anypointin it ." "Iwish Iwerewrong." "I don't feel anything anymore." "Neither do I." "The reason I didn't say anything to Sandy..." "I knew he wouldn't believe me." "And I'd go into details so he would have to believe me." "And I knew he'd come running to you, and I knew you'd tell him everything I said was true, and I knew then you'd go to bed with him." "Yeah, that sounds like what would happen." "( sighs ) So?" "So?" "Jonathan..." "I'll always be your friend." "Jesus, Susan, I hope not." "Sandy:" "It'sgoingto be buggy." "Susan:" "It's not goingtobe buggy." "It'sthetropics." "Whatdoyoumean?" "It'sthejungle." "Youcan't coveryourself fromheadto toe." "I'llget eatenalive." "You don't know what it's like." "You've never camped out before." "Isn't he being silly, Jonathan?" " I am not." " Are too." " Am not." " Are too." "You're a real city boy." "Howaboutthecot ?" "Comeon,sweetie, we'vegotasleepingbag." "You'rereallyserious aboutsleeping ontheground?" "Youareababy." "Christ,this knapsack'sheavy." "Well, I told you you overpacked." "What in the world do you plan to do with a pillowcase?" "Putitback." "Well,youareanut." "Isn'theanut , Jonathan?" "Youpackyourthings." "Letmepackmine." "I'mjust tryingtohelp." "Well,help yourownstuff." "Youhave packingtodo ." "Wedon't evenhaveroom." "We'regoing ina littlecar... (musicplaying)" "Jesus..." "You want her?" "I wouldn't kick her out of bed." "Will you look at the pair on her?" "Get a look at that schmuck trying to keep up with her." "They're always with guys like that." "That guy must be 60 if he's a day." "Maybe he'll have a heart attack." "You could save his life." "Get her number and fuck her." "( both laugh )" "You bastard..." "Bastard..." "How's Susan?" "Couldn't be better." "I always said it, and I say it now." "You found yourself a jewel." "She is a jewel." "Not bad, that one." "Listen, you must be getting more than your share." "I'd get married in a minute if I could find the right girl." "Bullshit artist." "You and your actress friends." "Are you kidding, Doctor?" "You're the one that's got the deal." "I mean, what can I say?" ""Take your clothes off, baby," "I wanna check your capital gains."" "I just look." "( coughs ) Sure, you do." "I really do." "Susan's plenty enough woman for one man." "Hey, look at that." "Jonathan:" "That'sSallyJoyce." "Didn'tI seeher onEdSullivan?" "I fucked her once." "Bullshit artist." "We used to do her taxes." "She's with another firm now." "Why don't you say hello?" "She wouldn't remember me." "She's a real ball-buster, that one." "I've been through the mill with her kind." "Yeah?" "You think a girl goes for you, and you find out she's after your money or your balls... or your money and your balls." "Women today are better hung than the men." "I should have your problems." "It's not as easy getting laid as it used to be." "I don't think I fuck more than a dozen new girls a year now." "Maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist." "This last one came so close to being what I wanted." "Good pair of tits on her" "Not a great pair." "Almost no ass at all, and that bothered me." "Sensational legs." "I would have settled for the legs, if she had just two more inches here and three more here." "Anyhow... that took two years out of my life." "You don't want a family?" "Idon'twant toputit down, butwhoneedsit?" "You can't make fucking your life's work." "Don't tell me what I can and can't do." "You're so well-off?" "(musicplaying)" "Susan's a very good homemaker." "Very efficient." "I come home, everything is in its place... which I like, because it's tiring putting in a full day at the office, then Doctors' Hospital for a couple of hours." "So it's nice to have everything in its place when I get home." "A martini, dinner, the kids." "We don't watch much television." "We like to read aloud to each other." "We used to have more friends than we do, but we don't have that many anymore." "So, on weekends we might entertain a little or go over to see a friend." "Come into town, see a play or a good film." "It's not glamorous or anything." "There are other things besides glamour." "(musicplaying)" "You have a long lifeline." "Ilikethat." "The way you run your nail across my..." "You're difficult to get along with." "Me?" " Mm-hmm." " Bobbie..." "You always know your own mind." "Right this minute, anyway." "You won't stop going after what you want until you get it." "Let me see your hand." "Ahh... mmm..." "Well?" "You are built." "You see that in my hand?" "Even your hand is built." "I think you're a dirty old man." "I'm a dirty young man." "How old are you?" "How old do you think I am?" "19." "( laughing ) No... 20?" "No." "21?" "22?" "No." "24?" "You skipped 23." "23?" "No." "( both laughing ) 24?" "No." "25?" "26?" "No." "27?" "You're getting warm." "28?" "No." "29?" "I like going out with older women." "Are you married?" "Are you kidding?" "You don't want to get married?" "I'd marry you in a minute." "Can you cook?" "Spaghetti." "I can cook spaghetti." "Good, you do the cooking." "What will you do?" "What would you like me to do?" "What would you like to do?" "I asked you first." "Well, I'm not gonna answer you first." "Well..." "I can sew." "Doesn't sound like much of a marriage." "Me cooking spaghetti, and you sewing." "You want a divorce?" "I'll take you for every cent you got." "I didn't know I was marrying a gold digger." "Mm-hmm..." "You won't take pity on me?" "Only if you say you're sorry." "I'm sorry." "And you'll never do it again." "I'll never do it again." "And you'll always be a good boy." "Yes, Mama." "You like to be mothered?" "I'd like to be smothered by you." "What else would you like me to do to you?" "Well..." "How do you like it?" "How do I like what?" "My, uh... you know." "What do I know?" "You know everything." "I know you." "And I know you." "Mmm..." " ¶ Dream ¶  - ( moaning )" "¶Whenyou'refeelingblue ¶" "¶Dream¶" "¶That'sthethingtodo ¶" "¶Just¶" "¶Watchthesmokerings¶" "¶Risein theair ¶" "¶You'llfindyourshare¶" "¶Ofmemoriesthere¶" "¶So¶" "¶Dream¶" "¶Whentheday isthrough...¶" "Wow..." "I almost came that time." "( laughing )" "(musicplaying)" "Help!" "Oh,nurse?" "What is it, Mr. Weisenborn?" "Willyoucomeinhere  aminute,please?" "Certainly, Mr. Weisenborn." "Why, Mr. Weisenborn!" "Bobbie:" "Most guys I know are pricks." "( sighing ) I don't know anymore what they want." "Jonathan:" "I'll be happy to tell you." "They want..." "( slapping ) the boodle." "But they ain't gonna get the boodle." "Goddamn right." "Because this kid here has got the boodle." "You're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?" "Mmm..." "( sighing ) You're a nice man." "And you're a very lucky girl." "( chuckling )" "(showerrunning)" "(Jonathanhumming)" "You know something, Sam?" "(Jonathanimitating HumphreyBogart) Whatisit ,sweetheart?" "You think it would be a fatal mistake in our lives if we shacked up?" "It's very difficult, Bobbie." "These last couple of weeks, we get along so well together." "The idea..." "I like you very much." "So much... this idea... to be perfectly honest," "I mean, it sounds very good to me." "Let's both give it a couple of days to think about it." "It sounds, like... well, very good." "Very, very, uh... well... good." "Only, our eyes should be open." "If we should go into this, we should know exactly what we're getting into." "It's just a shack-up." "I'm not asking for your hand in marriage." "Yeah, well, as long as we both understand that." "We do." "I just thought it's better to get it all out on the table," "( coughs ) so later, there can be no possibility of a misunderstanding." "I don't know how many business deals I've seen come to grief" "Okay..." "Okay." "You're a real prick, you know that?" "Prick?" "I could very easily get serious about this girl." "She's a lot of fun to be with." "This is just between the two of us, but for the last year or so," "I've been having..." "I don't know, a little trouble." "I wasn't worried, but still and all... a little trouble with... well, myself." "You know... getting hard." "It took a long time, and you know how girls are today, they judge you." "They judge you very quickly." "So, uh..." "I had a real rough time a couple of times." "Some very nasty innuendos." "And, as I say," "I wasn't too worried, but..." "I won't lie to you," "I was a little worried." "Then along comes this Bobbie." "I get one look at the size of the pair on her and I never had a doubt I'd ever be anything but okay again, and I was, I was." "With all our kidding, back and forth on our first night together," "I don't mind telling you I had tears in my eyes." "She's really the girl in the airline commercial?" "Youlucky sonofabitch." "I don't know." "I don't want to get in over my head." "I got in over my head three, four times already, and you have to be a real bastard." "I don't like being put in that position." "What would you do?" "If she looks anything like she looks on television..." "Size 38, with a D cup." "But looks aren't everything." "Believe me, looks are everything." "Maybe." "I'm hungry." "I'll get up." "Why do we always have to eat so late?" "Because I work late, dumb-o." "Why do you work at all?" "Brings in extra money." "I make enough." "You want me to quit working?" "I thought you were bored with it." "I am." "So quit." "What'll I do?" "What do other women do?" "Have children." "Well, you asked me." "(showerrunning)" "(Jonathanhumming)" "(musicplaysatlowvolume)" "( music playing on television )" "¶Sountilthe day  thatonecomesalong¶" "¶I 'llsing mysongwithyou ¶" "¶Foreverylittle faultthatyouhave¶" "¶SayI'vegot  threeorfour¶" "¶Thehumanlittle faultsyoudo have¶" "¶Justmakeme loveyoumore¶" "¶Youmaynot beanangel ¶" "¶Butstill I'msureyou'lldo¶" "¶Sountilthe day  thatonecomesalong¶" "¶I 'llstringalong¶" "¶Withyou.¶" "Voices on TV:" "Hey,wasthatyou ?" " Yeah, that was me." " No kidding." "(televisioncontinues atlowvolume)" "What about my beer?" "We're all out." "I really wanted a beer." "Do you want me to run out to the corner?" "You're too tired." "I'm tired, but I don't mind." "I'll get it." "No, I'll get it." "It's my fault." "I knew I should have reminded you when I called this afternoon." "I'm sorry, honey." "You're more tired now than when you were working." "I'm in the house all day." "Did you get up at all today?" "What do you do?" "I mean, when you're not telephoning?" "I'm not on the phone that much." "It took me 45 minutes to get through this afternoon." "I'll go get the beer." "No, I'll go." "I thought you were too tired." "I haven't been out all day." "Fresh air will do you good." "Will you walk with me?" "Then I may as well go myself." "(musicfromthe TV)  ¶Tosingmylove song too¶" "¶Anduntilthe day  thatonecomesalong¶" "¶I 'llsing mysongwithyou ¶" "¶Foreverylittle faultthatyouhave...¶" "Wanna make love?" "We haven't in a week." "Is it a week?" "It's funny." "Susan and I do all the right things." "We undress in front of each other." "We spend 15 minutes on foreplay." "We experiment, do it in different rooms." "It's a seven-room house." "We don't believe in making a ritual of it." "We do it when we feel like it." "We don't feel we have to be passionate all the time." "Sometimes it's even more fun necking." "We're considerate of each other's feelings." "I had a tendency-- men, I guess, have-- to be selfish." "But I stopped." "I don't do that now." "We try to be patient, and we are patient, gentle with each other." "( sighs )" "Maybe it's just not meant to be enjoyable with women you love." "Sandy... do you want to get laid?" "( sighs )" "Please." "Sandy:" "Very nice." "Jonathan:" "Veryniceindeed." "Indeed." "Watchout." "Ialmosthadit." "Sure, youalmosthadit." "Ialmosthadit." "Right,Cindy?" "Seethat,Cindy?" "Hewaslucky." "That'sall." "Bastard, thatwasout!" " Bullshit it was!" " Oh, bullshit." "LetCindy bethejudge." "We'lldoit over, allright?" "Allright." "Fair'sfair." "Deuce!" "Youseethatshot, Cindy?" "Nowwegot sometennis." "Hey!" "Game!" "Luck!" "Luck,myass!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Youwantto  takemeon ,Cindy?" "It's my turn." "Oh,comeon ,Bobbie, you'resoawful." "Youserve." "Verynice." "Hey,youplaywell." "Hey,Sandy,willyou  lookatthisgirl?" "Terrific, Cindy." "Whoo!" "Hey!" "She'srackingme up ." "I'mnotkidding." "Lookatthis." "She'srackingme up ." "Beautiful." "Boy,willyou lookatthis?" "40-love." "AndI 'mnottaking iteasyon hereither." "You and Lord  Taylor's are gonna have to work out a trial separation." "I had the water running." "What did you say?" "You and Lord  Taylor's are going to have to work out a trial separation." "Look at the date." "What do you mean?" "Five months ago." "( sighs )" "I'm sorry I cost you so much money." "(telephoneringing)" "(ringingcontinues)" "I want to get married." "(doorslams)" "Are you tired of me, Jonathan?" "AmI ever." " The answer is yes." " I didn't say yes." "You said, "Am I ever."" "I need more in life than this." "Who put you up to this?" "Your psychiatrist?" "Aftera long, exhaustivebedhunt, youfinallychoseme." "Cindy's not a virgin either!" "What?" "Oh, I get it." "Is that what brought this on?" "Your mind is unbelievable." "You have to have a low opinion of me thinking that I would do that to Sandy." "Oh, no, you wouldn't want to cheat on Sandy." "Oh, now it's Sandy." "Well, he spends half his life over here." "Wait a minute." "A second ago you had me screwing Cindy." "Who am I screwing now, Sandy?" "You're going too fast for me." "I'm going too fast for you?" "Your little mind operates like an IBM, like a pinball machine." "First Cindy." "Oh, no, not Cindy?" "How about Sandy?" "How about Cindy and Sandy?" "Talk about the pot calling the kettle." "The day I got an earful of your checkered past, I felt like a celibate." "You made me tell you." "Sure,I twisted yourarm." "It got you hot!" "Something has to." "You have such contempt for me." "Kid,youworked hardforit ." "It'syours." "The way you paw me at parties." "Now affection is contempt." "Upside down." "Everything upside down." "Feelingmeup  inpublicis  notaffection." "Will you come on?" "I know I sleep all day." "I know I'm doing a terrible job, but you're not helping me any." "And who helps me?" "I help you." "Your kind of help I can do without." "Can you?" "Can you really?" "Ahh!" "You'll do anything you can to ruin my day, won't you?" "I got up today feeling so good." "You couldn't leave us alone." " We were doing so well." " What?" "At one time-- at one time, it was great what we had." "The kidding around." "It can't have a natural time span?" "Affairs can't dissolve in a good way." "There's always got to be poison." "I don't see why." "I really don't see why!" "Jonathan, do you want it over between us?" "Why does it have to be one way or the other?" "You don't want me to leave?" "Iwantyourighthere  whereyoubelong!" "And what about you?" "When I'm here, I'm here." "When I'm not here, I'm there." " Where?" " Wherever?" "No." "I'm a man-eater or a ball-buster and a castrator." "I want to get married." "All right, where the fuck is my shoehorn?" "This place is a mess!" "There's not any food in the house!" "Half the time, you look like you fell out of bed!" "You spend more time in bed than any other human being past the age of six months than I ever heard of!" "The reason I sleep all day is because I can't stand my life!" "Whatlife?" "!" "Sleeping all day!" "( sobbing )" "You say that sort of thing," "I fall in love with you all over again." "Marry me, Jonathan." "Please, marry me." "You're trying to kill me." "Marriage isn't death." "Why now?" "Because two years ago, I slept eight hours." "A year ago, it was 12." "It's up to 15 now." "Pretty soon, it's gonna be 24." "What are you trying to do, scare me?" " I need a life!" " Get a job!" "I don't want a job." "I want you." "I'm taken, by me!" "Get out of the house!" "Do something useful, God damn it!" "You wouldn't let me work when I wanted to." "That was a year ago." "You throw a tantrum every time you call and I'm not home." "Look, sister, I'm out there in the jungle eight hours a day!" "You wouldn't even let me canvass for Kennedy." "You want a job?" "I got a job for you!" "Fix up this pigsty!" "You get a pretty goddamn good salary for testing out this bed all day!" "You want an extra $50 a week?" "Try vacuuming!" "You want an extra 100?" "Make this goddamn bed!" "Try opening some goddamn windows!" "That's why you can't stand up in here!" "The goddamn place smells like a coffin!" "Oh..." "Bobbie." "You don't need me." "Why do you let yourself in for this kind of abuse?" "Walk out." "Leave me." "Please leave me." "God's sake, I'd almost marry you if you'd leave me." "You call that abuse?" "You don't know what I'm used to." "With all your carrying on, to me you're a gift." "So what's it gonna be?" "You sure know how to screw things up." "So where does that leave us?" "Are you giving me an ultimatum?" "Is this an ultimatum?" "Answer me, you ball-busting, castrating, son-of-a-cunt bitch!" "Is this an ultimatum or not?" "!" "Because if it is, I'm gonna tell you what you can do with your ultimatum!" "I'm gonna tell you what you can do with it!" "You can make this goddamn bed!" "That's what you can do with it!" "Goddamn clean these filthy sheets!" "That's what you can do with it!" "(doorbuzzersounding)" "She's not ready." "We're a little early." "You're looking good, Cindy." "I do my best." "Will Bobbie be long?" "Uh, no." "Hey, uh... do we have to go to this party?" "How about it, Cindy?" "Where's the powder room?" "Uh, right there." "I'm going." "You do what you want." "Man, she's really something." "I'm so bored, I'm going out of my mind." "Bored?" "With that?" "You must be kidding." "You have to go to this party?" "Stick around." " No, it's better that I go." " ( door opens, closes )" "Hey, I just did my hair." "I've got this at home." "How's your tennis game, Jonathan?" "We'll have to have a rematch." "Anytime." "(musicplaying)" "Is she always that way?" "You know women." "Boy, is she competitive." "She is very competitive, but I find that attractive." "You know her problem?" "She wants balls." "She's all right." "I'm not criticizing." "I wish she were more feminine." "She is a little masculine." "I just wish she wouldn't always demand her own way." "She's got a great body on her." "I have to treat her like a child, give her everything she wants." "I wouldn't mind giving her something." "You got Bobbie." "I should only have it that good." "Ohh..." "Bobbie." "Bobbie, are you kidding?" "I've never seen a body like that." "She could do with a little more of what Cindy's got." "She's so goddamn passive." "Yeah, I wouldn't mind Cindy just lying still once." "She's so busy handing out instructions in bed." "It's like close-order drill." "Yeah, I wouldn't mind a little of that, as long as she doesn't forget who's boss." "Hey, uh... you wouldn't want to swap sometime, would you?" "Are you serious?" "What do you say?" "Might liven things up a bit." "( both laughing )" "She can miss one party." "Leave her to me." "What about Bobbie?" "She's so mad at me, she'll jump all over you just for revenge." "Hey, you like that, huh?" "Seriously?" "She's in the bedroom." "If you're quiet, you can do it and she won't even know." " ( both laughing )" " You bastard." "Give me a minute." "(musicplaying)" "Tell Sandy it's time to leave." "I hope you dance better than you play tennis." "Sandy won't mind." "What's Sandy got to do with it?" "You're his girl." "He said it would be okay." "(musicstops)" "What did Sandy say?" "( sighing ) That you and me, uh... you know." "That was his idea." "You had nothing to do with it?" "A little." "Alittle ora lot?" "This much." "I'm surprised it took you this long to get around to it." "Sandy and I have a party to go to." "Sandy's busy." "You wanna come around sometime by yourself, that's one thing." "I've been expecting that." "But you tell Sandy that if he lays one hand on that tub of lard in there, not to come home." "So you call me." "Jesus!" "Sandy:" "She'ssemicomatose." "Bettersendaresuscitation unitandan airway." "Bereadyto giveher  anIVon admission." "It'son..." "Tell him we'll put her in intensive care." "Bastard." "( gasping )" "Very slick." "Very clever!" "Well, it's not going to work, Bobbie!" "(musicplaying)" "Jonathan:" "That'sBonnie, myfirstlove." "Shelived upstairsfromus ." "Westarted exposingourselves toeachotherat10." "Wegotcaughtontheroof onedayby my mother whowashedmy mouth outwithsoap." "Inever gottheconnection." "Here'sEmily, myfirststeady." "Untilshemoved offtheblockat11," "Ineverlaid ahandon her." "Um,Mildred," "Ithink, thisone'snamewas ." "Shefollowed mearoundat school." "Thefellas kiddedmeabouther ." "Iwarnedher ifshedidn'tstop, I'dbeatherup." "Shepickedup herskirt, droppedherdrawers andshovedherass atme." "SoI gotmy first sightofassat12." "Marcia,131/ 2 orthereabouts," "Ikissedherone night ata spin-the-bottleparty." "Thisone'sRosalie." "Rosalielookedjust likeElizabethTaylor in" NationalVelvet."" "IhadacrushonRosalie from14to 15  andI neverwentnearher." "Inthosedays, wehadillusions." "Here'sCharlotte." "Notmuchon looks, butgreattitsfor 15." "That'sLennyHartman's sister." "MyfirstFrenchkiss, 16 years old." "Here'sGloria, thebest-built girlatEvanderChilds." "Itookherto theBronxZooonce andonthebus , coppeda cheapfeel." "Here'sGwen." "Iwentwithher  fora year tryingtogether  toputout, butshethought Iwastoonice andwassavingme formarriage." "Everyguyat Evander musthavegotteninto herpantsexceptme." "Here'smyfirst-- no,thatonewas amistake." "Here'sEileen, myveryfirstfuck." "Shewasamodern danceratSwarthmore." "Greatbodyon her." "Whata waste--frigid." "Here'sNancy." "Sweetkid ." "Shewentintobiology." "Veryfrigid." "Here'sBobbie!" "Mywife." "Thefastest titsintheWest andkingof  theball-busters." "Sheconned meintomarryingher  andnowshe'skillingme withalimony." "Don'tknowhow thisonegetinhere ?" "Thisismy  littlegirl,Wendy." ""Princess,"I callher." "Isn'tsheadreamboat?" "Here'sa realcunt." "Iforgethername." "ANazi." "I banged her in Berlin." "Here'ssomething Iwentwith fora coupleof months." "FirsttimeIbangedher was on a yacht race to Nassau." "ThisslobIwentwith  fora year untilI gotso sick ofherball-busting," "Icouldn't getitup anymore." "Ican'trememberher name." "Thiswas myJapin thesack." "IheardthatOriental girlsweredifferent." "NotinAmerica, they'renot." "Here'sa 16-year-old Igave20 bucksto onenightin thevillage whenI wasdrunk." "Maybeyou knowher,Jennifer." "Shegaveme adose." "( imitating Porky Pig ) Th-th-th-that's all, folks." "What are you crying for?" "It's not a Lassie movie." "Sorry about that." "Or something." "So, what else is new?" "To tell you the truth," "I don't see anybody anymore." "Neither do we." "Well, you've got each other." "I thought she was your daughter when you first came in." "In a lot of ways, she's older than I am." "Yeah." "She knows worlds I can't even begin to touch yet." "Sandy, please." "I found out who I am." "You're in big trouble." "Same old Jonathan." "Indubitably." "Let me talk to her about you, John." "Talk to her about me?" "I'm 40, she's nine." "You just don't get it, do you?" "Oh, I get it, all right." "I've been getting it for a long time." "What's the point?" "Sandy, you found a good piece of ass." "God bless you." "You're my friend, I'm happy for you." "As long as it lasts, I'm happy for you." "You deserve to be happy." "I mean it." "Why fight?" "Okay?" "All those games." "Jesus Christ!" "You don't need those games, Jonathan." "I know." "I've played more games than anyone." "The obedient son game." "The bright student game." " The cocksman's game." " Some cocksman." "The respectable husband game." "The good father game." " The specialist game." " Good father?" "Games don't impress Jennifer." "Just life, just love." "Yeah, well, I don't want to argue with you, Sandy." "So let's just agree to disagree, okay?" "Don't make me mad, okay?" "Jennifer knows more at 18 than Susan knows to this day." "You found yourself a real jewel, okay?" "She's my love teacher." "Finally got it up, huh?" "You give off such bad vibrations." "Bad vibrations?" "Sandy, I love you, but you're a schmuck." "You were always young, Sandy, open." "You were schmucky a lot of the time, but maybe schmuckiness is what you need to stay young and open." "Listen..." "don't listen to me." "You're doing great, and I'm making money." "You can find what I found, Jonathan." "Don't make me insult you." "Women..." "All ball-busters, right?" "You know it." "When you think of some of the things he has to dip into, any guy with a conscience has a right to turn soft." "Am I right, Louise?" "You're always right, lover." "I don't think we're going to have any trouble tonight." " You don't?" " No, I don't." "Are you sure?" "You wanna bet?" "How much?" "The sky's the limit." "God damn it!" "What did I do?" "You're doing it all wrong." "I'm doing it like always." "You never said that before." " Said what?" " "Sky's the limit."" "Sure, I..." "Never." "What do I say?" "You forgot, didn't you?" "A hundred." "I say a hundred." "Okay." "It just came out." "I just want it right, that's all." "I don't think we're going to have any trouble tonight." " You don't?" " No, I don't." "Are you sure?" "You wanna bet?" "How much?" "A hundred?" "You sound pretty sure." "You're a kind of man... why shouldn't I be sure?" "What kind of man am I?" "A real man." "A kind man." "I'm not kind." "I don't mean weak kind, the way so many men are." "I mean the kindness that comes from an enormous strength, from an inner power so strong that every act, nomatterwhat, ismoreproof ofthatpower." "That'swhat allwomenresent." "That'swhytheytry  tocutyoudown." "Because your knowledge of yourself and them is so right, so true that it exposes the lies which they, every scheming one of them, live by." "Ittakesatrue womantounderstand thatthepurest formoflove istoloveamanwho denieshimselfto her." "A man who inspires worship, because he has no need for any woman, because he has himself." "Andwhois better, morebeautiful, morepowerful, moreperfect." "You'regettinghard." "More strong, more masculine, more extraordinary, more robust..." "It's rising." "It'srising." "Morevirile, domineering." "More irresistible..." "It's up... in the air." "(Indianmusicplaying)" "(organplaying)"