"Murder 1x03 The Big Bang" "The murderers' names." "He didn't mention the murderers' names." "Do you have trouble mentioning the names?" "Well, I think this track may well get you fully in the mood." "This is the new one from Kylie." "Been playing it for you all week, it'scalledIn YourEyes, from her album Fever." "The Harris brothers." "Clyde Harris," "Whitmore Harris, and Curtis Kodro." ""Do you think you'd feel different" ""if you knew which one of them did it?"" "It made sense, not telling them which one of us it was." "Whitmore knew what he was doing, it made sense then, you know what I mean?" "We could scrabble around, dog eating dog, or we could have some dignity, keep our mouths shut, and face the music." "A life sentence is a long time to keep your mouth shut for the sake of Curtis Kodro." "Curtis Kodro was never my brother, whatever Whitmore said." "He weren't just trying to save himself." "He made sense then." "So, we said nothing." "We killed a man." "And how about the gravity of that?" "Tonight, thanks to NASA's Cassini spacecraft, we hope to witness the birth of a new moon in the rings of Saturn." "Inconceivably wide, but barely ten metres thick and silent as the grave." "Saturn's rings are made of the tiny, dust-sized, icy particles and rocks as big as mountains." "Visible from Earth with a telescope, they were first observed by Galileo..." ""Psych" they call her in here." "Psycho, Psych." ""What is it that makes you so angry about it after all this time?"" "I said, "If you can't see that by now" ""then what are they paying you for?"" "She says, "In your own words, I mean."" "In my own words, those three killed my dad when they had no need to." "There was three of them and one of him." "They had guns and Tasers and baseball bats and what did he have?" "He had a mobile phone and a tone of authority." "Not only that, not only did they take a man's life when they didn't need to, my dad's life, they never said which one of them did it." "What sort of a court is that that doesn't nail a killer for murder?" "The three of them sitting in the dock, right through the whole trial, never budge from there, never open their mouths, not one of them." "Never even had the guts to look at me the day I went." "A seven-year-old kid wanting to know who killed her dad, thinking the judge and the lawyers would sort it out and find the truth, and those three, sitting there, looking anywhere but at me." "What makes me angry about it?" "The dead guy, PC Prescott." "Stuart Prescott, give him his name." "His kid's counsellor's made an official approach for all three of us, that's what she says." "Would we maybe think again about telling the truth?" "Maybe she hasn't met Clyde Harris." ""The big bang," she said." ""A tiny moment in time, but everything in your life" ""since has come out of it."" "I said, "I thought it was meant to be my own words."" ""You'll be getting out of here tomorrow," she said." ""This is the last of our little get-togethers" ""and right outside that gate you'll have a decision to make." ""Turn left and wait for the 97 bus and it'll take you back into town" ""and you can pick right up where you left off doing all the angry things" ""that put you in here in the first place." "Or you can turn right." ""Do you know what there is that way?" "The new you."" "She said, "Something funny?"" "I said, "Your ears stick out like car doors." ""I've often wanted to say that."" "She said, "What is it that makes you so angry about it?"" "I said, "About your ears?"" "She said, "About your dad."" "I said, "Do you think they help you hear better?"" "She sent us a picture of her, the daughter, in the newspaper at the funeral, aged about eight." "Sweet little girl." "Banged up now like the rest of us." "The counsellor says it's not all doom and gloom, though." "A window of hope remains open and the truth would help." "Truth?" "In the interests of a young person's future?" "In the interests of her mental health." "Opportunity for closure." "Disclosure, unburdening." "Opportunity for me to get me throat cut by Clyde Harris, what sort of an opportunity is that?" "It's coming now." "I mean, the governor will be here, banging on that door." "I mean, the governor and me, I mean we're just two men, two mortals." "It transcends." "I mean, it's bigger than who's done what, who's on the right side of the law, who's on the right side of that door." "I mean, it goes bigger." "I mean, how can it not, like?" "It's creation." "I mean, this is what they say at NASA or whatever - all we know is that something is there." "Well, we can track the effect of an object in the rings, perturbing the particles around it." "Like, creating a disturbance in the rings." "Like a moon from nothing." "Like, from debris." "Like, and you might think in here, being stuck in here all this time, that I've no reach, like I'm a stone thrown too far up on the beach, but that's wrong, because the same atoms flow through us." "Me and Saturn, and Curtis Kodro, and everyone else." "We're all in the mixer." "You can hear it almost, hear the whirl of everything." "So, don't tell me I've got no reach." "Curtis Kodro knows I've got reach." "Curtis Kodro knows I know what he's been saying." "A new addition to the universe." "Like, it blows your mind." "Ten years thinking about 30 seconds." "Clyde, Curtis, all of us in here, doing life." "In here." "In here." "30 seconds expanded over ten years." "In your mind..." "You know it." "You know it better than you ever wanted to know it." "Ten years later, Clyde's telling me that it's all down to Curtis and that he knows what to do about that." "And Curtis is coming to me with tears pricking his eyes saying," ""Have you got control of your brother or haven't you?" ""Because he's looking to kill me."" "Ten years I've been holding this all together while it tries so hard to unravel." "27 minutes." "Robbery, getaway, torch getaway car, make off in the second car." "26-and-a-half of those minutes passed off as planned." "The last half a minute..." "Well..." ""Do you think you'd feel different" ""if you knew which one of them did it?"" "She's been in touch, so she says." "And one of them got back to her, said he'd talk to her, tomorrow." "He'd still be dead." "I said, "What difference would it make?"" "When I was a kid, me cousin walked right through a plate-glass window." "Picking glass out of him for days." "There was this one bit they didn't get." "Made its way across his shoulder, through his chest, down to his belly and come out his fucking cock years later." "That's what the truth's like." "Maybe that counsellor's right." "Maybe it's time the truth was out there." "Maybe it's the night for the truth." "Maybe that ends it here and now." ", :" "Open the door!" "Curtis Kodro, Whitmore Harris, Clyde Harris." "Curtis Kodro, Whitmore Harris, Clyde Harris." "Curtis Kodro, Whitmore Harris, Clyde Harris." "Curtis Kodro, Whitmore Harris, Clyde Harris." "Round and round in circles, and the only one inside the circle is me." "15 months planning that job." "I'd thought of everything." "Everything." "It was a bailiff's office, so they had a bit of everything." "We were picking up gold and silver and Rolex watches and dollars and sterling." "It was like an Aladdin's cave." "They'd had a good day's trading that day and, as a consequence, we did, too." "He shouldn't have even been there, my dad." "He never took me swimming." "He only took me that one time." "It was Mum that took me to swimming lessons every Thursday, straight after school, on the bus, but the woman she worked with, her upstairs neighbour left her bath running and flooded her flat and she couldn't come in for her three-to-six shift," "so they asked my mum if she could stay on and do it and she said only if she could find someone to take me to swimming lessons." "And her boss said, "What about that ex-husband of yours?" ""You're always saying he doesn't see enough of the kid."" "And she said, "He'd probably be busy."" "And he said "Do you want me to call him?"" "And she said, "Don't be stupid," and called him." "Texted him." "I said to my mum, "Was it my fault?"" "cos I'd gone in wearing my cossie, and she said," ""No, it's because there are some very bad men in the world."" "But I was thinking, there are bad men, but he wouldn't have run into them, would he, if I hadn't said I wanted to go in wearing my swimming costume?" "I'd done another job to fund that job." "That's how seriously I took it." "I'd done a subsidiary job to fund that one." "And I got nicked doing the subsidiary job because I'd done insufficient planning." "So three months before, and a year in Wakefield planning." "When I got out, I spent a week checking that nothing had changed while I'd been inside that would affect the plan." "It couldn't have been better thought through." "Mum told me later that she didn't want him taking me because she had my swimming things with her at work and that meant he'd have to come by and get 'em and she didn't want to see him." "And anyway, she thought he'd be at work." "But he wasn't." "She got her boss to tell him she was busy when he came by, so he gave him my swimming things." "But she could see." "She was watching from the storeroom." "She was standing on a stool." "She wanted to see if he had Lisette with him." "That was the last time that she saw him." "She said she was sorry after, that she hadn't come out and said a few words to him, but maybe that was a blessing in disguise because those words mightn't have been very nice ones." "Start with clothes." "Identical outfits... balaclavas, hoodies, jeans, gloves, trainers." "All black, all the same, can't tell us apart." "Make it hard for them." "They were going to get fucked off just even looking at the CCTV." "They're going to have to get off their fat arses and point at the screen and go, "That fucker there."" "So, no exposed flesh, nor hair, nor tattoos." "Nothing." "We're generic, we're ciphers." "We fade in the mind." "We're here and then we're gone." "Let fear do the rest." "And no-one gets hurt." "I checked with the woman Mum worked with about her upstairs neighbour flooding her flat." "She said it was true." "She said the ceiling came down." "She showed me the photos she took for her insurance." "I said I wanted to speak to her neighbour, but she said, I wouldn't want to do that, that she was a very angry individual." "Weapons." "Your first and most important weapon is your sheer physical presence." "Now, on top of that, but secondary, one firearm, one stun gun, one blunt instrument." "As a complete package, you're looking for maximum impact, maximum fear." "You're only going to need it for five minutes, but it must have impact." "You want to guarantee that everyone in those premises is going to look at you and your stock and trade and know that you are not to be messed with." "I wanted to go on the bus to the pool in my cossie and goggles and snorkel." "Mum said I could get changed at school before we went." "She thought it was funny, like I did, and people would look." "I wouldn't want to do it now, but then I was an attention-seeking little twat so when he came, I asked him and he said no." "Personnel." "Go with brains and an even temper." "And that's what I saw in Curtis." "And so did Clyde, no matter what he's saying now." "In the car, I said, "What if I get changed in here" ""while you're driving?" "I could still walk in in my cossie," ""people would still think it was funny."" "He wasn't even listening." "He was asking about Mum." "He didn't want to be doing this, taking a kid swimming." "I said, "What about her?" "She cries most nights."" "And he said, "Does she talk about having me back?"" "And I said, "What about Lisette?" "What a stupid fucking thing to say." "He shut up then." "I still don't know if he wanted to come back." "Vehicles." "An armed robber will have a getaway car and a backup car." "The getaway car, you torch and dump, and then you make off in the other." "I had two others." "That's in case of mishaps, roadworks, or Christ knows what else." "Two cars." "That one parked up a mile east and another one parked up a mile west." "That's forethought." "That's thinking." "That's the hallmark of a Whitmore Harris job." "I wanted him to park on the far side of the car park, right away from the pool, near where the bus stop was, so the walk would be longest, more people would see me walking in my cossie and snorkel." "But he didn't." "He was pissed off." "He said Mum spoiled me." "He said if I was going to do that, he was going to park right round the back where no-one could see me." "Like he was ashamed of me." "Last, recce." "More important than everything put together." "You recce, recce and recce again." ""When are the big men going in there?" ""When are they not?"" "I went in one time with a concealed camera, pretending to be looking for a job, and I shot every inch of those premises." "I came home and made floor plan sketches and I watched it over and over and over, dozens of times, until I got it into my head." "And then I quizzed Clyde and Curtis until they threw pizza at me." "He came in the leisure centre with me and then he went back to where he parked the car because he said scumbags frequented that patch of ground at the back and the car wasn't safe." "And on the day, it went like a dream." "It went like fuckin' clockwork." "A woman inside the building heard him shout," ""Police!" "Hold it right there!"" ""Harris, hold it right there."" "Now he either knew me or he knew Clyde but I couldn't have it either way." "I couldn't have it." "I couldn't." "I'd got Clyde into this and I couldn't let it end like this." "I couldn't let him down, I couldn't." "Not him or Curtis." "I'd torched the car and I was shouting at Curtis," ""Stun gun him!" "Stun gun him!"" "And then I heard it." "My name being shouted at the top of that copper's voice." "And that's when they got there and shot him." "We get in the car." "Curtis drove." "Not too fast, not too slow." "About half a mile ahead, at the junction of Warrington Way, we saw Clyde and picked him up." "He'd went on ahead, but he'd lost track of the car and then he heard the shots." "We stripped off the hoodies and the balaclavas and joined the stream of traffic." "Nobody said much." "Well, nobody said anything." "The gun went in the canal near the Sun Inn." "The car went into the crusher and we went our separate ways." "We knew they were coming." "We knew they'd have us." "Burnt the clothes and bags and that, and scrubbed ourselves raw and just more or less waited for a knock at the door." "See, the rings are full of ice, big particles of ice and other debris, and they collide and they bind together and if they don't smash into anything bigger, then they grow, the way a snowball grows," "and you get a moonlet, like a baby moon, like, they incubate in the rings." "And when, when you get a moon, you get a gap in the rings, like an empty ring, because everything that was in the ring ends up in the moon." "It blows your mind." "If you don't have a brother, then you can't judge." "A brother needs looking after." "If you haven't, then you don't know what you would do." "He always wanted to be a police officer." "Mum told me that, not him." "Anyway, it's that kind of job." ""The Job"." "That's what he always called it, like it's the only one." "I'm the same." "It's something I've aimed for, something I've always wanted to do." "Probably, I can't do it now, but it's something I would've really liked to have done." "Who comes out of that door?" "Who ever comes out of that door?" "No-one ever comes out of that door." "So, why is he dead?" "If the bath doesn't flood, he lives." "The woman Mum works with comes in anyway, he lives." "How can you legislate for that?" "You can't legislate for that." "Mum's boss doesn't say that about him not seeing enough of me, so she calls someone else, he lives." "He's working and he can't take me, he lives." "If I had to do that all again," "I'd do it exactly the same way and that wouldn't happen." "Mum has a few words with him, even angry words, maybe especially angry words, so he was a few minutes late getting to my school, he lives." "He lets me get changed at school, so we arrive at the pool five minutes later, he lives." "That plan was good." "It was the facts on the ground that didn't compute." "I'd say Mum would love to have him back and we'd turn the car around and go and find her and he says sorry for every fucking thing he's ever done, he lives." "Who could legislate for that?" "For an off-duty cop just to pop up there and then?" "Who could?" "He parks in the far side of the car park, like I asked him to and not round the back, so he doesn't have to go back to the car, he lives." "He lives, he lives, he lives." "But me saying I wanted to go in wearing my swimming costume he dies." "There's a thing when you're wearing a mask." "Everyone can see it." "And you forget you've got it on." "And when he shouted my name," "I was stark naked in a spotlight in a snowfield." "Before I knew what I was doing there was the gun." "But Prescott knew me, and I couldn't have that." "You could see it on the CCTV." "Curtis tried to stop me." "So, why is he dead when the odds are eight to one against it?" "Because of me." "I could see Psych's mind working, just thinking," ""Fuck." "It was her fault."" "Talk your way out of that one, bitch." "There's a moon being there born out and it doesn't give a shit about who tells the truth, and it doesn't give a shit about anything that happens down here and anything you've done or haven't done or anything people say you're going to do," "anyone's mental health or anyone's disclosure, the life of Stuart Prescott, the life of Stuart Prescott's daughter the life of Curtis Kodro?" "Oblivious is what it is." "See... my brother still likes me to think he killed PC Prescott." "He likes me to think he did it for me." "But it's not the truth." "Put Curtis Kodro in the equation and you are fucked, my boy." "The rest is by the by." "All of us, fucked, for all time." "Grief magnet." "I don't think you shot him, Clyde." "I think Curtis Kodro did." "That's the sort of thing Curtis Kodro likes to do." "The first direct question Curtis asked me in the Wakefield nick was..." ""How long does it take you to grow your beard?"" "I was in the queue for the mail, he was coming out of the library." "You know, I had a couple of inches on it." "I wasn't shaving until I got out." "And he was one of those young lads, you know, he's in his early 20s, probably shaves once a week, if even that, you know?" "I looked at him and I said, "This thing?" ""This is three months, big lad." ""Each one of those bristles have been coaxed out individually."" "It took him a wee while to work out whether I was joking or not, you know?" "I don't think he was used to much levity in those days." "He says, "Are you expecting a letter?"" "I says, "Aye, the missus, she writes once a week." ""What about you?" He says, "Three months." ""That's some going for a beard like that."" "I said, "What book are you getting out?"" "It was some book on business, you know?" "How to set up on your own and make a go of it." "I liked the kid, you know?" "I thought, "He's been in here nearly eight years and he's trying" ""to work out what he's going to do when he's on the out." ""I could use a guy like that."" "I said, "Maybe you want to think about maybe setting yourself up" ""with a nice little nest egg when you get out, you know?" ""Tide you over those first tricky months."" "He looked at me." "There was real scrutiny in that look." "No hiding it." "He said, "I'm going straight."" "I says, "With what in your pocket?"" "My uncle used to say I was like fat in a pan, sizzle and spit." "Couldn't settle, not for anything." "School, relationships, nothing." "I was the sort of kid who just used to do stupid shit to get noticed, you know what I mean?" "Reckless endangerment, climbing shit, breaking and entering, giving lip to people who'd hit you for it, fighting people bigger than me." "That's what I was good at." "Well, not good at." "Keen on." "Fat in a pan." "He shouldn't have been with us at all." "His release date from Wakefield was a month before mine and he comes to us just before he gets out and says, "There's been a change of plan."" "I'd never seen him so up." "He said, things have changed and he no longer wants to be part of the job." "That's what he said, "Things have changed"." "I said, "What, you don't want to be rich?"" "But he wasn't having it." "I couldn't believe it." "He was walking away after all we'd planned." "There was this girl he used to talk about." "Nicole." "Yeah, Nicole used to come to the catch-up class." "She was a volunteer reader, she..." "She was 19 and looked younger, I was 17 and looked older." "Look, the way I was brought up," "I was chasing after me parents." "I was grabbing onto their shadows bloody night and day." "I didn't have any time for friends." "I didn't trust people." "Probably Whitmore's the only one I ever did trust." "But when I did..." "Me and her had this back and forth going on cos she was a uni girl, I took the piss that she was... "Hoity-toity", that was the expression she used." "That made me laugh." "Oh, my Lord, the way she said that," ""hoity-toity", it was funny." "She was "hoity-toity" and I was "street"." "Even the way she said that made me laugh. "Street"." "She was from a farm." "Family had a hill farm up in Cumbria." "There weren't no streets up there, only hills." "She said to me people like me weren't allowed there." "She said they'd have to put a street in especially, if I was ever to go up there or any of me family." "She was funny, man, she made me laugh." "We just used to sit and read and we'd have this repartee and just make each other laugh." "I got her to talk about it..." "the farm." "That place sounded like paradise to me." "I'd be reading to her or talking to her and I'd settle." "No, literally." "I'd feel all the molecules inside my body just come to rest." "There was this day at school, she was cold and she had this short-sleeved top on and she was rubbing the top of her arms and I had me hoodie on and I pulled it off and gave it to her and said, "Here you are."" "And she, like, put it on and she..." "Just for a minute..." "She, like, just leant into me." "And she was sitting right next to me." "You know that thing?" "You know that thing that girls do when they're cold and they grab onto you with both the hands and sort of lean into you and do a shiver and put their chin on your shoulder?" "She did that." "It was done and over in a second but..." "See, at the end of the class when it had finished...?" "She sort of made out like she forgot she had me hoodie on and she went walking off and I was like, "Yo!"" "When I put that hoodie on... it smelt of her." "See, I got dispensation to follow Saturn online, but that's not all I followed." "I followed Curtis Kodro's colourful past." "My brother, the great judge of character " "I said, "You knew that, did you?"" "And he gave me that look like, "Do I really need to spell out" "" what I know to you?"" "For 30-odd years, I took that to mean, "You're too slow, Clyde." ""I'm way ahead of you."" "Lately, I'm starting to think - "You know what, Clyde?" ""You took too much on trust."" "And then she wanted to see the real Nottingham." "I said I'd come round to hers and we'd go out, but, no, she was bored of the places uni students went." "She'd come round to mine, but I was living out of somebody's car at the time, so that weren't going to happen." "I had no fucking idea what the real Nottingham was any more than she did." "And then I saw it." "My life's a documentary for this girl." "I'm an exhibit, fat in the pan." "There was this place near where I grew up, where you could see enough kids sniffing glue, so I thought," ""That'll make a good start." So, I roped me half-brother in." "Met her off the bus, it must've been about eight o'clock." "It was just getting dark." "Anyway, we sat on this bench, right, drinking this vodka." "I was watching all the kids staggering about in the dark with their faces in these plastic bags!" "We were laughing, man." "Mossy was." "You could tell she was out of her depth, though." "Then Mossy asked Nicole if she'd ever done it with two blokes." "She just kind of stood up, looked like she was going to maybe start crying or something." "I just told him to shut the fuck up." "Then this commotion started up on the park cos some kid supposedly started having a fit and was, like, jerking about in all this broken glass under the swings." "And then, all his crackhead, junkie mates started crowding round and laughing at him and I just lost it and went up and started shouting at them all just to fuck off home." "There was this one kid, Florian." "He was bigger than all the others." "I thought he was probably about me own age, but turns out he was younger." "He stood up, smacked me with the swing." "With the wooden seat of the swing on its chains, right round the back of me head." "And I just went down." "When I got up - he was swinging it at me again, he broke me cheekbone, and two teeth, and I just lost it." "He was, like, pegging it across the field, like, in the dark, laughing at me, and I just pulled me knife and went after him." "When he tried to get out of the railings... he sort of slipped back." "One of the spikes on the top of the railings just went right up through the back of his jacket... and he was just sort of hanging there like that, like a fish on hook." "It was a while until I remembered Nicole was even there." "I thought about the way she looked at me when she said," ""Give me the knife." You know what I mean?" "She was..." "Wasn't raving like everyone else." "She was trying not to look at Florian who was, like, wailing... blood everywhere, flapping about." "She was, like, looking straight at me." "And it still comes back to me." "And her eyes were right in mine." "She'd been ignoring his letters for years." "Been writing to her and getting nothing back and then she got in touch." "Deep down inside, I was glad for him." "He had fucked my plans but I was glad for him." "He was going straight." "He was going up the hills, he said." "And I thought Nicole would meet me at the bus station, but she didn't." "And all the way up on that bus, I'd been working out what I was saying, do you know what I mean?" "The first few lines, just to break the ice." "But standing there, I didn't even know any more." "I wanted to restart my life." "I wanted her to restart my life." "What did I know?" "Got some flowers." "There was a stall near where the taxis were." "I was thinking that maybe she's still going to turn up." "I was just killing time." "But this taxi driver saw me standing there with these flowers and..." "He goes, "Are you hoping to get lucky, mate?"" "And I said, "No, that would be pushing it."" "He said something like," ""Still, they put a spring in your step," or something like that." "And suddenly, everything was just going to be all right." "I told him the name of the farm and just saying it out loud after all that time, just made me feel like coming home." "He tells us, "Come on then, Starsky, Let's get out of here."" "And I threw the flowers in the back, jumped in, and we just pulled off." "We both did laugh, it was just one of them moments, you know what I mean?" "Tell you what, when we got out up into those hills it was just like what she'd told me - not a street anywhere." "I had her letter and I was reading it again." "Cab man was listening to all the talk on his radio." "I thought it was other drivers or dispatch, I weren't listening." "He looked at me." "And do you know what?" "In the end, he said it was the police." "And he said, "They're waiting for you, you know that, do you?" ""At the farm."" "Yeah, she told them I was coming." "It broke the terms of me parole if I went there," "I'd end up back in prison." "She set me up." "Cabmanturnedthe radiooff." "He was giving me time to think." "Yeah, it was the end of the road " "I suppose he could see that." "Someone like me weren't meant to be up there." "And I got back on the bus." "It was the same bus." "He was knocking on my door the first day I got out, wanting back on the job." "Suddenly, it was our job again." ""We" this, "We" that." "He'd let me down, he'd make it up to me, he was sorry about what happened." "I'd seen it before when fellows go straight - the sheer terror of it in their eyes." "I stood Clyde down, told him I didn't need him." "I'd twisted his arm the first time, so I thought he'd be happy about it, you know?" "His missus was just about to have a kid, wee Megan." "So, he was all aglow about that, so I thought he'd be happy." "But he didn't want to lose face in front of Curtis." "Curtis this, Curtis that, Curtis the other!" "So, I just thought," ""Why not all for one, one for all?" ""Man hugs all round."" "I disgraced meself that day." "I'm not proud of what I did with the stun gun." "I'm not proud of running away." "Whitmore says we're all brothers?" "Not just me and him." "Curtis Kodro, too." "Never work with brothers." "Never work with brothers." "Yeah, he talked a lot about Clyde, Whitmore did, when we were in Wakefield together making plans." "I'd be going on about Nicole and he'd be going on about Clyde, not his wife." "But when I met Clyde, I didn't..." "I didn't think he lived up to all that." "I thought he was a right arsehole." "I didn't know what all the fuss was about, but, ontheday,oh, myGod,  Christ Almighty, me!" "I could feel Clyde shrivel up every time they showed the CCTV footage." "And they showed a lot of it in that courtroom." "They tried over and over again to drag an ounce of meaning out of it - and they failed." "The cops said that they knew what was going on." "They reckoned that the guy with the stun gun at the robbery was Clyde, because of what one of the witnesses said." "They knew that Clyde was bigger than me and Curtis." "Not taller, bigger." "But I already thought of that - so me and Curtis bulked up so we all looked exactly the same." "So, just cos they said the shooter was a bigger man - doesn't mean anything." "And anyway... the shooter and one other guy were the only two people in the CCTV footage when the shots were fired." "So, there is no comparison." "Whitmore didn't have the gun." "That gun was in Curtis's bag and when they caught me up," "Curtis was saying sorry." "Sorry, while he was driving, and Whitmore was saying nothing, knowing full well that Curtis Kodro had fucked us all up for all eternity, and he'd brought him in." "See, there's a disturbance around Curtis, simple as that." "You can see it on the CCTV." "When we were in court, I knew every frame of it." "The more you try and get from it, the less you get." "But then you sit back and something's staring you in the face." "Something you've been trying to ignore." "Something perturbing the fucking particles around it." "Curtis Kodro - jinx." "Never work with brothers." "Never work with brothers." "Brothers are like..." "Sisters would be better, even." "Brothers are like..." "When they grow up together, they come from the same uterus, they're made from the same clay, same atoms, the same eggs and sperms." "They don't need to talk." "I'm not talking about twins, just brothers." "Brothers are deep, mate." "I could tell that from the off - and every year since." "It's been coming." "Grief magnet." "There's an aura around him and it draws bad stuff in and it drew us in - me and me brother." "Here's Clyde and here's Whitmore." "He wants me dead and he doesn't." "Or maybe he doesn't." "He says he doesn't." "He used to say he doesn't." "And he's the boss - so Clyde's supposed to do exactly what he tells him, so it should be simple but they're brothers, so it isn't!" "But that counsellor." "She thinks it is." "Simplequestion,simpleanswer." "That's what she thinks." "Clyde calls me up and says, "Let's give them Curtis."" "I says, "It wasn't Curtis that shot him, though, was it?"" "Then Whitmore couldn't get the car torched." "And Prescott was walking up to his car, so it was only a matter of time until he saw us." "The car went up, Prescott saw us." "And the flames just threw us back." "Whitmore was shouting, "Stun him!" "Stun him!"" "So, I went in the bag for the stun gun." "I couldn't find the stun gun." "I pulled out the gun." "We had £10,000 in cash and foreign currency, we had Rolex watches worth five grand apiece." "We had 50 grand in them three bags." "We had everything Whitmore promised." "Then we had nothing." "And then, we had nothing." "Went round in a big, fat circle from nothing to nothing." "I looked at the gun in me hand, pointed it at Prescott..." "He stopped, started backing off." "There's power in that." "I can see him squirm now, like he's right in front of me." "Him, just internally, inside himself." "When he saw that gun in my hand..." "Yeah..." "I saw his face do something a face shouldn't do." "His dignity escaped" " I did that." "And I thought, "You're better off dead, now, mate." ""You'll not be able to live with yourself after this one." ""I'm doing you a favour."" "SCORE BUILDS" "And I squeezed the trigger." ""You didn't do it." ""I think you know that, but you did something." ""So, why don't we talk about that?" ""You were cross with yourself for asking him about Lisette." ""Who's Lisette?"" ""You're not asking what they pay me for now, are you?" she said." "It's not like at night you can see Saturn with the naked eye or even with a telescope." "It's not that." "But, at night, you can sense it, when the rest of the animals in here have shut the fuck up and the place goes quiet, like properly quiet, you can kind of commune with the universe," "you've got to reach out with your mind." "They would've called it the music of the spheres, one time, the governor told me." "Yeah?" "See, that music speaks to me, yeah, and it tells me the waiting's over." "Over for me." "Over for Curtis Kodro." "He didn't think I knew about Lisette, but, of course, I fucking knew about her." "She was actually somebody he supposedly arrested... for shoplifting." "I didn't know that then." "I found that out after." "Mum told me." "It's true, though, I checked." "Mum said she was a whore and he was a cradle snatcher." "She wasn't a kid - she was, like, 18 or something." "Of course I knew about her." "He said, "Lisette?" "That was over before it even started."" "That's why he was angry - because I wasn't supposed to know about her." "And I asked about her - because it was obvious Mum had told me, even though I wasn't supposed to know." "That's why he didn't let me do what I wanted, that's why he parked round the back, and that's why he's dead." "Happy now?" "It's still my fault." "So, nice try, but fuck you." "It's Clyde that keeps me awake at night." "Sounds like bullshit - but I take pride in my work." "Not one person was ever injured, not even slightly, in all my years of breaking the law." "And then, I get my brother involved." "He wasn't made for this, like none of us are." "But this is eating him up from the inside." "This is turning his mind." "SCORE STOPS" "So..." "What?" "I, like, have a quiet word with a trusted member of staff and get him put back into isolation again?" "That would just kill him." "That would just finish him." "And what does that say to him?" "What does that say to where he... where he stands, or where Curtis stands?" "Who's got whose hand up whose backside, like?" "Who's working whose mouth with whose fingers, eh?" "Like, who's the old moon and who's the new?" "See, he'd always known what my life was and he always kept a distance from it." "Cos he..." "he wanted kids, he wanted a wife." "And, yes, a man's dead but I look at Clyde and I see something else is dying, too." "Listen." "Listen." "It's me that's doing it to him." "SCORE STOPS" "There's lies you tell by speaking and lies you tell by not." "I was starting to think this woman's like a witch or something, like, she can read minds." ""Do you ever talk to him?" she said. "Your dad."" "I said, "He's dead." "Have you been listening?"" ""OK," she said." ""I'll be here tomorrow if you want to hear how I get on."" "And she got up." "And because she stood up, I sort of had to, too." "I said, "I'm getting out of here at nine."" "She said, "I'll be here at midday, if you want to hear how I get on."" "I went then and she called after me." ""My dad's dead, too." "I still talk to him." ""You want to try it sometime."" "I'm that moon, that, that new moon on Saturn." "I'm the moon and Curtis..." "Curtis is the gap in the rings and everything that was him is coming into me." "Isn't it, Whitmore?" "It's time." "My favourite photo." "That's where I start when I want to remember him." "I was seven." "His arms around me and we're both laughing at something Mum's saying as she's taking it." "I actually stop Lee ever putting his arm around me from that side, so he'd be the only one that had ever done it, so the memory's clear." "His arm around me and his hand pulling my head onto his." "That starts off the realness of it." "I think of the fingers of his hand." "The palm of his hand's right on my ear and his fingers are on top of my head, holding me close." "Because, if I'm honest," "I started getting mixed up between him and Lee." "Sometimes when I wasn't concentrating and I had a memory and then I'd think, "No, wait up, that wasn't Lee." ""That must've been him." "It must've been Dad."" "If I start with his hand right here then I can bring the rest of him alive..." "Reanimate him." ""Right outside that gate, you'll have a decision to make," she said." ""Turn left and wait for the 97 bus" ""and it'll take you back into town" ""and you can pick right up where you left off." ""Or you can turn right." ""Do you know what there is that way?" ""The new you."" "I can't be that man any more, a man that keeps a lid on." "Not for Clyde or for the truth, not for any of it." "And he knows I lied to him about killing Prescott." "It wasn't for him at all." "And Prescott..." "Prescott never shouted our name." "How could he?" "Maybe..." "Maybe for half a second, I thought he had - but... it wasn't that." "It wasn't that at all." "I pointed it at Prescott." "He stopped, started backing off." "And I squeezed the trigger." ""Give me the gun, Curtis." "Give me the gun."" "It was her in the end." "It was Nicole." ""Give me the gun, Curtis." "Give me the gun."" "I could hear her, clear, calm." "I should've gone to the farm, that's what she was saying." "If I'd have gone to the farm like she told me," "I wouldn't have been stood there with that gun in me hand." "She saved me once before, stopped me killing Florian..." "Now she was trying again." "She hadn't given up on me." "I turned..." "I turned to run, ...but then Whitmore reached out and took it off me and he shot him." "Nothing prepares you for that." "Gunfire, it's the ultimate." "It's the be-all and end-all." "It's the end-all." "Gunfire awakens you from the dream of reality and goes," ""You think that's real?" "Fuck you!" "This is real!"" "And, oh, my Christ, is it loud!" "Ten years thinking about 30 seconds." "Curtis dead," "Prescott dead." "He made me angry, that's all." "He just made me angry." "He got in the way." "And without him, it was flawless." ""They killed Curtis Kodro." ""The brothers did, last night," Psych says." "She came here to tell me." "I said, "Killed him because he killed my dad" ""or killed him because he was going to tell you who did?"" "She didn't know." "I said, "You built me up for that." ""You said you'd find out." "You promised."" "She said she was sorry, she'd done her best, she had work to catch up on, she had to go in." "She touched my face." ""Look after yourself."" "She had to go in." ""One of them killed your dad," she said." ""And one of them's dead because of it."" "I should've known." "As soon as she got off that bus and looked at me and Mossy," "I should've known, but I didn't have anyone to teach me that stuff." "All she wanted was Woolaton Park or Goose Fair, that's the real Nottingham." "That's all she meant." "Just something I knew and she didn't - and we both would've felt good." "It was no more than that." "But that was too much to ask." "Dad..." "Did you want to come back?" "You had my towel." "You were carrying my towel when we went in and I didn't take it off you." "I came to the door and I saw the car on fire and the ambulance was there." "And you were lying on the ground in a puddle." "The towel was there." "I was standing in the doorway, dripping, and there was people all around you, but you looked all alone." "I'd got out the pool because I wanted to tell you about Mum and Lee." "I wanted you to know that, but there you were on the ground, not knowing about Lee." "There was a lot of bullshit later about how they hadn't got together until after." "Grief brought them together, that's what they tell my half-sisters." "We all went to the cinema weeks before you died..." "Me, Mum and Lee, and I could tell then what it was." "She'd have liked Goose Fair." "I remember being up at Sammy's for butter chicken." "When it come out, it should have been cold, because it's always cold when you come out a curry house." "And I'd give my order and she'd have held on to me arm." "And things would've been different." "I wanted that towel." "I wanted you to get up, pick it up off the ground, bring it over, and wrap it around me - but you couldn't." "And I made a sort of vow that I wouldn't let them be happy..." "Mum and Lee... for you, because of you not knowing the truth, because of me not telling you." "Not a vow, exactly, not one I said out loud or even in my head, just a sort of deal with you." "SCORE BUILDS"