"Less Than Hero" "FEMALE VOICE:" "Your call is being-- MALE VOICE:" "Connected." "FEMALE VOICE:" "By SewerCom." "Reach out and touch the sewers." "Look, Morris!" "It's Leela calling!" "Hi, Mom!" "Hi, Dad!" "Ready for your big trip to the surface?" "We're excited, honey, but we don 't want to embarrass you." "I mean, your mother and I are basically monsters." "Dad, relax." "You are being so mutant." "I found this adorable little bag to wear over my head." "And it was on sale!" "No one's wearing anything adorable over their head." "Now listen." "I could never, ever be ashamed of my parents." "I'll see you this weekend." "[DOOR OPENS]" "Hey, guess who I just got off the video phone with." "No!" "My parents!" "They're coming up from the sewers for a visit Sunday." "Are you off your rocket?" "Your parents are mutants." "It's illegal for them to come above ground..." "... becausethey'reinferiorgeneticscum ." "Present company excluded, of course." "I'm getting them a special one-day surface permit from city hall." "While you're there, could you get me a license to kill?" "Sure." "Bare hands or weapon?" "What does piano wire count as?" "Good news, anyone." "The Swedish robot from Pi-kea is here with the super-collider I ordered." "IN SWEDISH ACCENT:" "Enjoy your affordable Swedish crap." "Let's see what tools we'll need." "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "All right, we're all set." "Nothing like the rustic wholesomeness of working with one's own hands." "[GRUNTING]" "There." "Finished." "And only six missing pieces." "Those Swedes know how to put in almost everything you need." "Man, I'm sore all over." "I feel like I just went 1 0 rounds with mighty Thor." "I feel like I was mauled by Jesus." "I've got just the thing." "Genuine miracle cream..." "... Iboughtfromatravelingsalesman." ""Come one, come all! " he said." ""Step right up! "" ""This sounds too good to be true," I thought." "He said I looked like a smart young man!" ""So is it a deal?" I inquired." "Two hours later, he was gone with 60 of my dollars!" "But I had the miracle cream." "Bad news, nobody." "The super-collider super exploded!" "I need you to take it back and exchange it for a wobbly CD rack..." "... andsomeof thoserancidmeatballs." "Excuse me." "Hi." "Do you have a minute?" "I live in Jersey City." "My car broke down, and my aunt's sick." "She needs this medicine, but I need bus money, so I'm mugging you." "Hand over your wallets!" "I don't believe that story for a second." "It doesn't matter, I'm mugging you!" "There's no bus to Jersey City." "Give me your wallets now, or my robot will shoot!" "Don't make me hurt you." "I'm too scared to find my pocket." "Here, I'll just take off my pants and give you those." "Hey!" "I don't like what I'm seeing!" "Give it to him, Andrew!" "Give it to him again, Andrew!" "What the--?" "Laser-proof shirts, huh?" "Well, I'll show you!" "Hey!" "Quit it!" "[LEELA SHOUTING]" "Foiled." "And after years of planning." "You're out of the gang." "How did we manage to survive?" "What gave us those strange powers?" "Maybe we're wearing magic rings, but they're invisible..." "... sowedon'tevenrealizeit." "Also, you can't feel the rings." "Fry!" "Shut up and look at this!" ""May cause super powers in humans. "" "Wow!" "A super-powers drug you can just rub into your skin?" "You'd think you'd have to freebase it." "Let's see, which powers do we have?" ""Super strength"?" "[YELLING]" "Yep." ""Lickity speed"?" "FRY:" "Check." "Yes, sir." ""Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures. "" "Hey, Zoidberg, get in here!" "ZOIDBERG:" "Screw you!" "Ain't got that." "Nope." "Wow!" "Super powers!" "I'll be able to pack my day with twice as many humdrum activities." "Leela, I think you're missing the big picture." "When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?" "To have parents." "Whatever." "The correct answer is, to be a superhero!" "We have super powers, and we're Americans." "This is our chance." "Hm." "I have been looking for a way to serve the community..." "... thatincorporatesmy violence." "Let's do it!" "You'll barely regret this." "Hey!" "A friend of mine said he mugged you today, and you had super powers!" "It's true." "Thanks to this funky-fresh cream." "Now me and Leela are forming an awesome crime-fighting duo!" "Wow!" "Crime fighting!" "Cool!" "You say you're a duo?" "Yeah, duos are good." "Of course, sometimes they're a little short-handed." "See you." "With two humans, you'd think there'd be a robot in there to balance things out." "But whatever." "I have these three costumes you could use, but I guess I'll just throw one away." "We'd love to have you on the team." "But aren't you more on the supply side of crime?" "Plus, the cream won't give you super powers." "You're a robot." "So?" "I'm already super strong, and my arms do this:" "Also, I got this going:" "Listen up, New New York!" "There's a new group of superheroes in town!" "And we're-- WOMAN:" "Quiet!" "It's 4 a.m..." "... andI justfellasleepfor the first time in 30 years!" "Sorry!" "A new era of justice has begun." "WOMAN:" "What?" "ANNOUNCER:" "Attention all crooks, lowlifes and lawbreakers." "Do yourselves a favor and crawl back into your filthy tenements  you human cockroaches, or get your ugly face punched to custard by  the New Justice Team!" "Captain Yesterday!" "Clobberella!" "And Super King!" "The best one of the three!" "Yow!" "[THE NEW JUSTICE TEAM'S THEME MUSIC PLAYS]" "Ta-da!" "Captain Yesterday, I find your skintight high-waters incredibly sexy." "Let's get together sometime." "Sure!" "I'm listed in the phone book, so once I reveal my real name..." "... alongwithmy addressand  a copy of my birth certificate" "Are you crazy?" "We have to keep our secret identities secret." "From everybody?" "Especially from everybody!" "Give several reasons why." "For one, superheroes cause a lot of collateral damage..." "... andwedon'twanttoget our butts sued." "Or do we?" "No, I guess not." "Also, if our identities get out, every crook in the city will be after us." "Or, God forbid, our loved ones." "Super King has no need for loved ones." "How you doing, kid?" "There you go." "Two one-day mutant surface passes." "Thank you, Mayor Poopenmeyer." "[PHONE RINGS]" "Mayor here." "What's that?" "A horrible crime in the works?" "Ruthless villain?" "Citizens in danger?" "That's fantastic news!" "Because I get to summon the New Justice Team!" "[BUZZING]" "Shh." "They're usually here by now." "Well, so long." "Keep in touch." "Wait!" "Stay and meet the superheroes!" "There's three of you and three of them, so it'll be perfect!" "Is this clown on?" "Where are those daring crime-stoppers?" "Oh, I completely forgot!" "I left my apartment on fire!" "As for me, I'm late for my LSATs." "And I can't take life anymore!" "Clobberella!" "Captain Yesterday!" "My liege." "You're just in time." "We've received a tip that the Museum of Natural History..." "... willberobbedtomorrow at exactly 9 a.m." "The target: the priceless Quantum Gemerald." "Who's the perp?" "POOPENMEYER:" "A dangerous villain known as the Zookeeper..." "... whocommitscrimesaided by a pack of highly trained animals!" "Pack of highly." "Got it!" "His crew includes a badger with a troubled past and nothing left to lose." "An elephant who never forgets to kill." "And a seldom-used crab named Lucky, a.k.a. Citizen Snips." "You can count on us, Mr. Mayor!" "Justice away!" "BENDER:" "Hold the elevator!" "We're in here too." "Leela, how you gonna meet your folks tomorrow?" "We've already scheduled the Zookeeper for a 9 a.m. foiling at the museum." "Not a problem." "I've cleverly arranged to meet my parents..." "... rightthereat thesamemuseum at 1 0." "Nine, ten, a big fat hen." "The name's Bender." "I can't believe the Zookeeper is this late for his own heist." "It's just rude!" "[CLOCK CHIMES]" "Total hell!" "It's 1 0!" "I'm supposed to meet my parents, and I'm still in my secret costume!" "There they are!" "How can Leela not be here?" "Do you think she forgot?" "Relax." "I'm sure she's just ashamed of us." "Yo, freak jobs!" "Hit the nearest manhole, pronto-like!" "But we have passes that allow us to be up here." "From the mayor himself." "I don't know." "I never heard of no mayor." "The Zookeeper!" "Sorry I'm late." "Long story." "Now, everybody hit the deck!" "I'm cutting the entire line and stealing the exhibit!" "You're not stealing anything!" "Nobody hit the deck!" "Ah, the superheroes." "Or should I say, super zeros?" "That was uncalled for." "Animals, attack!" "[WHISTLE BLOWS SILENTLY]" "[SCREAMING]" "Please do not feed the animals!" "You're going down, my friend!" "Down under!" "Man boxing a kangaroo is a peculiar spectacle." "But a kangaroo boxing a robot?" "Now I'm afraid you've lost me." "Citizen Snips!" "Nice job, Fingers." "I'm scared and confused." "I think we wandered into an off-Broadway play." "No, there are way too many people here." "Later, if anyone asks when I got away, tell them right now!" "Forget it, Zookeeper." "You're going into captivity!" "Fool!" "A quip about putting me behind bars would have been far more delicious!" "Here, catch!" "No, Fry!" "You can't fall fast enough!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "I don't got it!" "[BENDER GROANS]" "You saved the Gemerald!" "Yet the Zookeeper escaped, thus proving that the deadliest animal of all..." "... istheZookeeper." "You can get off me anytime." "Oh, no!" "My parents are leaving!" "I've gotta go change back into street Leela." "MAN:" "It's the New Justice Team!" "Thank you, mysterious heroes!" "The value of the Gemerald you saved is slightly greater..." "... thanthecostofthedamage you caused to this museum!" "A net gain for our great city!" "[CHEERING]" "It's good that Leela doesn't love us." "She'll be less sad when we die." "MORRIS:" "Ow." "Mom?" "Dad?" "I showed up!" "And I got the audio tour for Treasures of Liberace's Tomb!" "[MAN WHIMPERING]" "Sweetie, it's okay." "You don't have to apologize for standing us up..." "... ontheonlyvisittothesurface we'll ever have." "I want to tell you why I didn't show up, but I can't." "Just please believe me that it was a very good reason." "I'm sorry I disappointed you." "Leela, you could never disappoint us." "We're so proud of everything that you are, and we always will be." "Because you're our baby girl." "Oh, I can't take it!" "Mom, Dad, I'm Clobberella!" "Galloping gators!" "You're a superhero?" "Well, that's wonderful!" "But did you have to make the costume so revealing?" "Look at me!" "Proud dad of a superhero!" "We should print up T-shirts!" "And F-shirts for our friends with two arms on the same side!" "No, listen, it's very important that you never, ever tell anyone..." "... underanycircumstance." "What if I've had a few?" "Dad, you drink?" "No, not even then!" "All right." "My sucker is sealed." "In fact, I shouldn't even be wearing this around here." "It was brisk." "I dressed in layers." "That's my girl." "So anyway, my daughter's Clobberella." "Leela is Clobberella?" "You're pulling me!" "Keep it under your sock." "It's a big secret." "That's why I'm only telling you two." "Oh, my God!" "That guy's daughter is Clobberella!" "But don't tell anyone." "Gotcha!" "Greetings, superheroes." "Remember me?" "I don't remember much, buddy!" "And you're no looker." "Professor, isn't it time for your nap?" "Yes, damn it!" "Zookeeper, how did you know our real identities?" "Let's just say a little bird told me." "Leela told her parents." "Leela 's parents blabbed." "Leela?" "ls the person that parrot is mimicking telling the truth by proxy?" "Yes." "My parents were so hurt, I couldn't help it." "But I distinctly told them not to tell anyone." "We are not amused!" "And here's something you may or may not find interesting." "Mom!" "Dad!" "Leela, please forgive us!" "Especially your father, who 's the one who told." "Thank you very much, Morris!" "Are you all right?" "Has he hurt you?" "No, but my allergies are going nuts." "Oh, God!" "Every couch and table has animal fur all over it." "He lets them climb on everything!" "All right, Zookeeper, what do you want?" "Why, the Quantum Gemerald, of course." "You must steal it for me by midnight or your parents will be devoured by piranhas that I have, shall we say persuaded to walk on dry land." "Save us, Leela!" "I mean, if you don 't have anything better to do!" "We're out of options." "We have to steal the Gemerald." "But should superheroes commit a crime?" "Even to save lives?" "I need moral guidance!" "Bender?" "The thought of stealing anything fills Super King with disgust." "But if it must be so, then let a museum heist be pulled!" "Oh, no!" "Our super-power cream is out of itself!" "Check inside the cap." "There might be a caked-in gold mine." "EI zilcho." "I'm afraid we're boned." "EI zilcho." "Hey, is it too late to change my superhero name?" "Just be cool." "Nobody knows we're super-powerly challenged." "Man, this costume is so damn heavy." "Hey, Captain Yesterday?" "Can I, like, wail on you with this two-by-four..." "... anditdoesn'thurtyou?" "Ow!" "That didn't hurt." "Hi, superheroes." "Everything okay?" "Big O, little K, my friend." "Just checking if everything's all right." "It's okay, all right." "Okay, then." "Grab it!" "[GASPING]" "Yo!" "The superheroes have turned evil!" "Most uncool!" "Get them!" "Stay back, or we'll beat the tar out of you using super powers!" "Whoo-ooah." "[PANTING]" "So this is your lair?" "Of course not!" "You think I'd show you my lair?" "My lair's a million times nicer than this." "Okay." "Take it easy." "Well, here's your lousy Gemerald." "Hawk, fetch!" "That seemed unnecessary." "Our transaction is complete." "Come, Solomon, to the lair!" "Mom!" "Dad!" "Oh, I'm so sorry I got you kidnapped..." "... bya crazymadmanwho tried to feed you to piranhas." "We're just happy to be involved in your life." "No, no, it's my fault..." "... fortellingyouIwasa superhero." "That's true." "I just couldn't stand to have you think I was ashamed of you." "That's sweet, honey." "But it's natural for children to be a little ashamed of their parents." "Oh, yeah." "Just like it's natural for parents..." "... tobealittledisappointed in their children." "Not that we are." "But you could call a little more often." "Okay." "And would it kill you to use some mouthwash?" "Hey, Fry, we've still got our costumes on." "Wanna steal some more stuff?" "I guess." "As long as you think it's right." "Superheroes away!"