"This programme contains some violent scenes and some scenes of a sexual nature" "'Louis?" "'Louis, can you hear that?" "The flowers - they are singing.'" "Henriette?" "'Let me bathe in the lake.'" "Sire!" "Sire, please, go no further." "A bad dream, Your Majesty, that is all." "Smelling salts will help." "LOUIS SNIFFS" "LOUIS COUGHS" "You were sleepwalking, Sire." "Has Fabien returned?" "Is there news of my son?" "He will find him, Sire." "1,000 men have died here, building this." "Thousands more may perish still before the work is done." "Versailles is a wondrous creation, Sire, an artefact for all eternity." "A king will write his epitaph in stone or he will write it in blood." "I wonder what mine will be." "Is Rohan captured?" "Nowhere to be seen." "Dauphin!" "Monsieur Marchal, the Dauphin!" "Your Highness." "It's all right." "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Please..." "My name is Fabien Marchal." "I serve your father." "You're safe." "You're safe." "SOUND OF GUNSHOTS" "ROHAN CRIES OUT" "ROHAN GRUNTS AND MOANS" "Is he alive?" "Let's see." "ROHAN GROANS" "Yes." "Bind him." "# I'm the king of my own land" "# Facing tempests of dust" "# I'll fight until the end" "# Creatures of my dreams" "# Raise up and dance with me" "# Now and forever" "# I'm your king. #" "Our informants in the Kingdom of France grow by the day, Master William." "There is no shortage of courtiers who will talk for money." "I'm all ears." "The King has quashed the rebellion which threatened his son, the Dauphin, recently rescued from Brittany, I believe." "The French also captured the ring leader who, I'm afraid, happens to be one of our own agents - the Chevalier de Rohan." "A shame." "He was a very promising spy." "A replacement is arranged?" "Naturally." "'Versailles grows in stature day by day." "'Exterior works are complete." "'The palace is bursting at the seams with new rules, called etiquette." "'Noble tenants increase in number.'" "'And the King's bed?" "'" "'The King is remaining remarkably faithful to his first mistress," "'Madame de Montespan, who is now fully installed as 'the principal favourite in the Royal Household.'" "And the brother?" "'Prince Philippe enjoys an animated social life away from Versailles 'at his family home in Saint-Cloud 'while his lover, the Chevalier de Lorraine, remains in exile.'" "This new spy - tell me more." "Young, very willing, very able." "Let us hope so." " MONTESPAN:" " Why do you need a historian?" "I need a writer with a loyal mind and the heart of a poet." "Is that why we're going to the theatre?" "Possibly." "I'm cold." "We're going to Paris, Madame." "Breathe the fresh air while you can." "With the King in Paris for the night, we shall focus only on the preparation of an agenda to present to His Majesty tomorrow on his return." "Louvois, what is the status of the prisoner?" "Alive, unrepentant, awaiting His Majesty's decision." "What say you, Monsieur de Reynaud?" "Does the Justice Ministry have any report on the interrogation?" "Reynaud, did you not hear Colbert addressing you in Council?" "REYNAUD CHOKES" "REYNAUD GROANS" " Help him!" " Call the guard!" "He's dying!" "Guard, quickly!" "A full house." "How satisfying." "You cannot be that satisfied, with Chevalier still exiled abroad." "How would you keep warm at night?" "It's called a blanket - green and full of feathers... a bit like you." "The King's here." "Don't look at him!" "Have you seen this coat?" "He should be on stage." "Take it from me - he's never off it." "You must promise me that, when we return, you'll come with me and let my lady do your cards." "I have heard good things about this young writer." "Your Majesty, my name is Thomas Beaumont, playwright." "The story you are about to see takes place many hundreds of years ago but, despite what you might have read, the past is not a prologue." "History offers us not a context, but a lens - a lesson for our present and a vision of our future." "Sire, there's been a poisoning." "You must come with me at once." "And... although this is a story of the men of yesterday, doubt not that, in this moment, in this very space, they live again, reborn, reaching out over the centuries to show us all that, as the sands of our lives" "dwindle and vanish, we are all of us making history, here and now." "APPLAUSE" " He's clever you know, very sharp." " Who is, Sire?" " William of Orange." "He poisons my minister to show what he can do, to show how close he is to poisoning me." "I'm almost impressed." "You realise what is going on, of course, across Europe, across the world?" "Versailles is a shining jewel that glows in the night!" "She's beauty, she's power." "There can be no doubt of what we symbolise." "So it is, then, that an ambitious upstart in Holland will look over at his glorious neighbour and the lustrous symbol of his power, sees it starting to grow." "And what do you do when your enemy's fortunes rise?" "Hm?" "When their fields blossom?" " Poison their well." " Drip by drip." "You take all that is nourishing them and you pollute and defile it with venom." "William knows what he's doing." "He has tried to take my son." "Instead, he has taken my love, my peace, my sleep." "Now he takes my minister." "But soon I will take his life, and that will be the end of it!" "Did he pay you?" "When you fought for me in the Spanish Netherlands, the Dutch came to you." "They made an approach and they gave you money." "ROHAN GROANS" "ROHAN PANTS" "Something has hurt you." "I wonder what." "William of Orange paid you to hurt me, to take my son," " poison my Minister." " Poison what minister?" " You think me a fool." "You believe it is William who hates you?" "And, trust me, everybody hates you." "Then know this - when my scribes lay down the chronicle of my days, I will ensure that they erase every last nub of you from it." "No drop of ink shall mark your time." "No image nor crest nor lock of hair." "Your worldly goods, your clothes, all burned." "Your lineage disowned, cast out, forgotten." "You will be to history what you are to me at this moment... ..nothing." "Unlike you, Majesty, I do not care how history will paint me." "My astronomers tell me that, one day very soon, the moon will traverse the sun and, for a few seconds, our day will become night." "I want you to remember that moment, if you can, because whatever your fate, it is then, at that instant, that you shall meet it." "I was worried." "You're burning." "Is the King awake?" "His Majesty is not yet risen." "I will wake him for the lever as usual at eight." "Please tell him that I need to see him at once." "When he wakes, Your Majesty, I will inform him, although you know his many commitments." "I can assure you, I'm acutely aware of those." "MONTESPAN MOANS" "MONTESPAN GIGGLES" "The more of you I consume, the hungrier I become." " Then I cannot be very satisfying." " Oh, you stimulate my appetite, Sire." "I'm not ashamed to admit it." "In any case, how else am I going to prevent you from getting up in the middle of the night and walking to the water?" "I'm worried, one day, I shall wake up and find you presenting me with a fish." "Do not eat that!" "It's only a biscuit." "It has not yet been tested." "Bontemps!" "Your man nibbled on it last night, did he not?" "And so he must test it again." "Send for the Officier de Bouche and his Esquire to cuisine, and prepare the room for the lever." "At once, Sire." "Two tasters?" "What concern is that of yours?" "I would have thought at least three - one for the hall, one for the kitchen, one for the table." "Who will be next, do you think?" " Next?" " Well, now that poor, sweet Henriette's gone, there is, as it were, a vacancy." "Don't tell me Philippe will not be married again!" "It's clear that he must, but to whom?" "I have not yet decided." "Well, I can't wait to help you." "Where were you?" "In the forest, collecting herbs." "Minister Reynaud died one hour ago - long, great pain, a swift decline." "Our Princess Henriette was the same." "Identical." "And you need me to examine the body?" "I do, but burn it afterwards." "You must take every precaution." "I appreciate your concern for my safety." "It is the King's safety that concerns me, nothing more." "HORSE WHINNIES" "Many stand to benefit from Minister Reynaud's death - a few enemies in court, Cassel being one of them." "Not to mention the widow herself." "I believe the Reynauds were clients of Cassel when he held power in his lands in the north." "But now that power has gone, along with much of his lands." "In any case, your investigation must bear fruit, and quickly, Marchal." "That a poisoner had access to the King's own Council Chamber..." "There is no evidence the crime occurred here." "We must act quickly to stop the inevitable tidal wave of rumour." " All communications are being monitored?" " Yes." "All letters are being opened and offending material will be adjusted or burned." "What of a successor to the Chancellery?" "De Foix is keen, but lacks experience." "His mother is a very good friend of my family." "Lesigny has more." "I have known him for many years." "Time is no judge of loyalty." "I wish to meet each candidate in turn." "If I may, Sire... might Monsieur Colbert address them first, together?" "Whatever for?" "If they're all with him, Your Majesty, they will not be in their apartments." "Madame de Reynaud, do you know of any enemies your husband had as Minister of Justice?" "I cannot think of anyone." "He was loved equally by all." "Was he a good husband?" "We had our disagreements, like all couples do, but he was devoted... ..and I to him." "I shall miss him so very much." "It's all I ask of you - your last stop before retiring." "Always." "Why do you abandon me?" "Should I say a Hail Mary?" "The matter of your conscience and your soul is a conversation for another day, Sire." "I talk merely of the commitments between us." "At any rate, I'm glad you are here." "It is good to see you." "Thank you, Sire." "It's good to see you, too." "I have a problem, however." "I wanted to ask your advice." "I will help if I can." "FOOTSTEPS APPROACH" "Oh, there you are." "And three heads is better than two, in this case." "That depends on the heads, of course." "Your Majesties." "I'm sure I don't understand." "You are no doubt both aware that my brother requires a new wife." "Since you both know him, and know me... ..it is my feeling that, between us, we will find the perfect choice." "I would rather it was women who were advising me than anyone else, since it often takes a woman to know another woman." " Wouldn't you say?" " I don't think this is appropriate." "Perhaps, but it is necessary." "Sire, while I respect your wishes, of course, selecting so important a person in court is surely a matter for a king." "Or a queen." "There are so many roles for a queen, Madame." "There are even times when I wonder whether you already perform them, in some way." "I'm sure whatever role I occupy in the King's life holds no candle on your own, Majesty." "I'm happy to say I stopped holding candles many years ago, Madame." "You see?" "Isn't this fun?" "Perhaps if we discussed the candidates?" "Are we all gathered?" "Where is Gaston de Foix?" "Is he here?" "I am now." "Very well." "Check all the rooms...thoroughly." "Good day, Cassel." "I must teach you how to knock." "It's a useful social tool." "It involves hitting things, so I'm sure you'd enjoy it immensely." " Our Court Etiquette is quite clear on the subject." " Yes, yes." "I know the King's social handbook favours the pinkie." "Useless method if you ask me." "Scratching a door?" "How's anyone supposed to hear that?" "I'm forever breaking my nails." "But where are my manners?" "Would you care for... a rat?" "Freshly caught." "I'm investigating the death of Minister Reynaud." "And you wish to secure my advice?" "You did not care for him." "No, no." "I hated him." "And I think you'll find the person who poisoned him didn't like him very much either." " Why did you dislike him so?" " Tremendous bore." "Reynaud's family used to petition mine for credit, as I remember." "I, er... almost set him to work ploughing my fields with his wife's face." "She has a very agricultural jaw." "He took many of your lands, did he not?" "After the fall of your house, they were sold at a substantial discount." "Will you excuse me?" "I'm late for a game of cards." "It stands to reason I'm a suspect." "You must be desperate to search my quarters." "So, by all means...help yourself." "So, it seems we are down to three." " Well, it cannot be Montpensier." " No!" "I agree." "Quite right." "Her time has passed." "The Princess Palatine, how about her?" "I don't think she's suited to court life." "Who is before they get here?" " Quite so." " You think she's suitable for my brother?" "Well, none of these women will ever live up to our late-departed Henriette." "Well, then, it must be Caumont." "So it appears." " She would be a fine choice." " Although..." " Ah...!" "No, still..." "It's no matter." " Very well, then." "Wait!" "Speak, Madame." "What is it?" "Well, I do not wish to cast aspersions on her character." "But I couldn't help but overhear that she'd travelled to Bordeaux recently in hopes of rekindling a romance with a common man." " Why would she do that?" " Well, for love, or so it appears." "And he has fallen for her." "But who can blame him." "She's very beautiful." "No surprise a man would find her quite the catch." "I wonder if it would be fair to marry Philippe to someone who's already in love?" "Marriage is not for love." "As much as it is for the State." " Well, then we have the perfect candidate." " Madame is right." "BOTH:" "Palatine." "She's certainly the plainest." "And being plain, no doubt has to work very hard at conversation." "She might be fun." "She's young." "No doubt fertile." " Lands in the east." "Beyond the Rhine." " Very true." "I mean, if you close your eyes enough, she's almost a man." "KNOCK AT DOOR" "Sire..." "If I may be so bold..." "What would you have done, if they had chosen someone else?" "The territory of the Palatinate is an excellent ally in our coming war with the Dutch." "This way, both ladies now feel like it was THEIR decision, which tends to be better for everyone, don't you think?" "Indeed, Sire." "Hm." "HE PLAYS WISTFUL MELODY" "HUSHED CHATTER" "The next few days are auspicious, Madame de Foix." "An eclipse in the light tells of great change." " Do go on." " Of course." " Excuse me a moment, Mother." "I see you are wearing last week's cuffs, Cassel." "Today's fashion favours the sleeve." "I give my advice freely since our grandmothers were second cousins and that is surely worth a morsel of assistance." "Too kind." "I do not claim your encyclopaedic knowledge of modern etiquette, de Foix, except when it comes to winning at cards, of course." "Maybe your mother would have better luck." "Or does your family curse span the generations?" "A man of youth has plenty of time to recoup his losses, Cassel." "And a man of experience has no need of it, since he tends to be so much better at cards, de Foix." "Ah, Madame de Reynaud, such a jolly little thing since her husband died, don't you think?" "Inheritance does that to a woman." "Have the apartments of the ministerial candidates" " been searched?" " They have." " And was anything found?" "Nothing to imply a knowledge of poisoning or any implements to assist in its creation." "We shall see what the widow's quarters reveal." "Oh..." "A gift from the Duc de Cassel." ""With warm wishes for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception."" "RAT SQUEAKS" "What kind of man gives a rat as a gift?" "Cassel..." "I need you to be my ears in the salons." "Talk to your friends." "I want to know what the rooms are saying." "Well, at the moment the only subject is Reynaud's widow." "She's very young, compared to him." "Will she inherit all of her husband's property?" "The will declares it, the King approves of it, his fortune is hers." "She's popular, but doesn't speak much in public." " It might be useful to discover what she says in private." " I agree." "Then I shall need new clothes." "I must at least appear to be a woman on the rise." "You are doing a good job of that already." "FOOTSTEPS" "HE THUDS CANE" "Where is Thomas Beaumont?" "The playwright." "I have been searching for him endlessly." "I wish to make him part of my theatrical troupe." "Will he attend the play tonight?" "Where might he be found?" "Versailles, Your Highness." "The King has given him a position." "He left this morning." "Oh, really?" "HE ROARS" "HUSHED CHATTER" "Oh." "Excuse me." "You will detail the life of His Majesty's court here at Versailles." "Focus only on the glory of the King." "He is the light that shines eternally in our hearts." "Yes, Monsieur Colbert." "Sire, may I present Thomas Beaumont, the court historian you requested." " MAN:" " Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to start." "Your Majesty, when the light of the sun hits the glass of the mirror, its particular shape and disposition entreats the rays of the sun to form a common beam, a focal point of light with the potential for enormous power." "The mirror, Sire, is you." "The scrap of driftwood, why, that is Holland, of course!" "LAUGHTER" "Now, should Your Majesty's attention turn towards the republic of the Dutch, behold!" "As Archimedes once roasted Roman ships from a promontory..." "FIRE SIZZLES" "ALL GASP AND MURMUR" "APPLAUSE" "While the sun nourishes, protects and warms us, the sun is also all powerful, and if he chooses, may decimate his enemies." "I thank you, Villette, for this timely reminder." "DOORS OPEN" " So, will you come?" " Sire..." " Oh!" "Let him wait his turn." "So, will you come with me to the cards?" "Madame Agathe taught me a love spell and I chant it every night." "I think I have heard it." "SHE CHUCKLES" " Very well." "I shall hear my fortune." " Sire, I believe..." "Oh, Bontemps, I nearly forgot!" "I took a bath yesterday and the olive soap was nowhere to be seen." "Would you be an absolute dear and order me some more from Paris?" "My ladies just don't seem capable." "Give her what she wants." "DOORS CLOSE" "My dear!" "Madame Agathe!" "You mentioned an extremely important consultation... ..but I did not dare dream it would be here." "Now, I hope you understand how vital it is that he be inspired by his time with you." "I brought only the best for you, my dear." "In the time of an eclipse, a deck of great power and prophecy." "You'll speak only of the glories you see, nothing more." "Just the light." "Yes." "But even in the light, it is our shadows that speak the truth." "The glory." "The glory, as you say." "(I'm glad you understand.)" "Just look at you." " Like the blooming of a winter rose." " FOOTSTEPS APPROACH" "Majesty, this is such a great honour." "Well, Sire... ..please approach the table." "And, please... ..split the cards." "Madame Agathe is very talented in divination." "Then she will, no doubt, know exactly what I am about to say." "I cannot see your mind, Sire." "I see only what is on the cards." "I listen only to them." "Only they may speak the truth about your future." "SHE DEALS CARDS" "The labyrinth..." " Is something the matter?" " What do the cards say?" "Perhaps the decks are mixed." " What do they say?" " What glories do you see?" "I am told the content of the cards does not reflect their message, isn't that right, Madame?" "In many readings, yes." "But this combination of cards..." "I..." "I cannot lie to my king." "I see no glory." "Thank you for all the fun(!" ")" "We are leaving." "You have seen Paradise." "And you have built it for yourself." "But now, a scourge is coming, five points of the same vengeful star." "The well is poisoned." "But still you drink." "Hell will rise, Sire, and consume all you have built." "The fires are coming, not just for you, but for all of France." "Terrible things happen to kings." "SHE GASPS" "SHE WHIMPERS" "If ever, in the future, you see me under the influence of a woman in matters of state, I want you to tell me directly, without delay, of your concern." "And I vow to you, whoever that person may be, she will be gone the next morning." "Do I have your word?" "Until my dying day, Sire." "We found this in Madame de Reynaud's apartments." "Good work." "DOOROPENSANDCLOSES" "This silver phial was found in your rooms." "Can you explain the contents?" "I can." "It is powdered Satyrion root, from a rare exotic orchid." "At court, the ladies call it "Fountain of Youth"." "Acquired at great expense, I might add." "I gave my husband just a little every day." "To kill him?" "To enhance our marriage." "It drives the blood to the organs of pleasure." "Both sexes may benefit." "My husband found it very effective." "His ardour was significantly improved." "Sold in Paris, I presume?" "No." "I acquired it here, at court." "From whom?" "Well, it depends on the circles one evolves in." "Some powders you may find freely available, on the table, like one may find the salt." "But for powders of this quality, one has to ask." "Money passes through numerous hands, and the powders arrive." "RAT SCREECHES" "You believe it is poison." "I can see your doubt." "It is poison that killed your husband." "Of that I am sure." "Don't be ridiculous!" "It's perfectly harmless." "I don't understand." "The Fountain of Youth, indeed(!" ")" "I arrest you, Madame de Reynaud, in the name of the King." "Take your hands off of me!" "Madame..." "You may leave His Majesty and I alone." "DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES" "How did you know it was me?" "I sensed you, Sire." "As always." "If I may, before you begin..." "The behaviour of Madame Agathe was beyond reproach." "The moment was only meant to temporarily divert you from your troubles, just for a moment." "Instead, well, I feel it's driven a wedge between us." "Now, I know there's no way to atone for what's been done." "I want to offer you my sincere apologies... with all of my heart, and my soul, and my body..." "..and my mind." "I feel a draught." "You must be cold." "Perhaps you would care to join me?" "Breathe the fresh air while you can, Your Majesty." "Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?" "I forget." "DOOR OPENS" "DOOR CLOSES" "Is it too much?" "I wasn't sure." "Many ladies tell me of a popular volume read at court " "The Pleasures Of Venus." "It's an instruction book to help improve the quality of amorous congress." "HE CLEARS HIS THROAT" "But there is a new edition that strongly advocates the use of stimulants and aphrodisiacs." "The Widow Reynaud mentioned the same." "Where is she now?" " Under arrest." " She poisoned him?" "Either that... or someone wishes very strongly for us to believe so." "I have been thinking about your brother." "Not recently, I hope!" "Have you spoken to Philippe?" "Does he have the happy news of his bride?" "He remains at Saint-Cloud." "And when does he return home to Versailles?" "I wanted to speak to you about that." "What about Gaspard?" "Guillaume?" "De Busseys?" "Is no-one coming?" "Where is everyone?" "Versailles." "You're not everyone." "It's time for you to come home." "I AM home." "This is my home." "You are sitting in my home." "Why can't you announce yourself like a person of quality or just say "bonjour" like a normal person?" "The King has sent me to your soiree in his stead." "You did send him an invitation, did you not?" "It appears I did." "Well... ..help yourself to some drinks." "I will find a blanket and hide until this is over." "Enough is enough, don't you think?" "The past has gone." "Has it?" "I believe so." "Has yours?" "Tell me." "How is your husband?" " Please...!" " How is the old goat?" " Still a drunken lunatic?" " He remains in his lands, Your Highness." " I do not see him." " Last I heard, he held a funeral for you." "Buried you in the back garden." "You're looking very well, considering." "Our shadows walk alongside us, do they not?" "Versailles has changed." "Believe me." "I have had a hand in it." "You tell yourself that." "Your brother listens to opinions." "Does he cock his ear, like so?" " Fixes you with his eyes?" " He hears me." "No." "He makes you THINK that." "Which is, as you will find out, what makes him so very kingly and it is not the same thing." "At all." "He sent a rider to Rome two weeks ago." "He's agreed to make the necessary arrangements for the Chevalier de Lorraine returns to France." "In exchange for what?" "Oh..." "May I just say, the King has made his list of replacements, and my son's is the only credible name upon it." "Prepare yourselves for pleasant news." "I have it on good authority that the new minister's apartments are nothing short of lavish." "ALL CHUCKLE" "Pardon my ignorance, but isn't Monsieur de Foix" " a little young to be a candidate for a ministry?" " MAN:" " The King!" "His family stretches back to the time of Clovis." "Please, continue." "MAN CHUCKLES" "COINS JINGLE" "There was a time when you could have bet all night and not made a dent in your fortune, Cassel." "Alas, Sire, those days are long gone." "I am doomed to remain here... ..enjoying the fruits of your glory." "You do not miss your lands in the north?" "Every day, Sire." "Though I must admit, the flowers are much prettier here." "Come to my apartments after my promenade." "There is a matter that I wish to discuss with you." "MURMURING" "The smell of failure." " Hard to wash off." "Poor fellow!" " HE LAUGHS" "MUFFLED CRIES" "His Majesty entrusted me with devising an appropriate punishment for you." "But what kind of pain, I asked myself, would be fitting for a man who betrayed the King's trust and friendship, abducted his first-born, and killed the woman he loved most in this world?" "And...it struck me." "We are all graced by the King's favour." "We are blessed, every day, to witness the grandeur of his creation." "We truly live every day in Paradise." "But imagine...to live under the sun and not feel its warmth." "To know the breathless beauty of this world, but not be able to look upon it ever again." "That..." "That would be far from Paradise." "That would be pain everlasting." "METALLIC TAPS" "That would be Hell." "HE PANTS" "May you live long in hellfire." "The King's favour is no longer upon you." "You are no longer worthy to gaze upon his glory." "MUFFLED CRIES" "HE SCREAMS" "SIZZLING" "HE SCREAMS IN AGONY" "HISSING" " SLAP!" " Do I not bring you money, and clients and riches?" "And you defy my word before my king?" "Do not doubt my gratitude, Madame..." "SHE CATCHES ARM" "I gave you a king!" "And I have given you more." "Much more." "Once, those cards helped you win your king." "Showed you the way to his bed." "Did you doubt me then, dear heart?" "Don't you love him now?" "Don't you want to keep him safe?" "What I saw in his cards could not be silenced." "What I saw... ..was a sentinel of warning." "And it will help you keep your king." "Please tell me what to do." "So many questions." "Luckily... ..I have a few answers." "SHE CLEARS HER THROAT" "To calm your nerves, dear." "FOOTSTEPS APPROACH" "I am bringing forward my invasion of Holland." "I will henceforth view any opposition to my plans of war as an act of treason, and they will be dealt with swiftly by my new Minister For Justice..." "..the Duc de Cassel!" "FOOTSTEPS APPROACH" "A blessing, Bossuet, if you please." "BOSSUET CLEARS HIS THROAT" "HE READS BLESSING IN LATIN" "Amen." "ALL:" "Amen." "ROHAN COUGHS" "HE GASPS" "INAUDIBLE BLESSING" "HE WHIMPERS" "In case I don't see you, have a lovely Christmas." "HE PANTS" "HE ROARS, WET SLICING" "BODY SLUMPS" "CROWS CAW"