"Interior Pedro's house, day." "The house is quiet." "It's 3 p.m." "Pedro, the landlord, is at his work." "But his Latin American wife, Margarita, is in the room of NabiI, their young Turkish Iodger." "As they are eating each other's face," "NabiI gives Margarita what Pedro cannot." "Margarita shouts out NabiI's name, asking for more and more." "But just as she gets a climax, the door swings open." "Pedro, the husband, has returned from his work to surprise them." "Pedro waves his gun." "Margarita shouts:" ""No, Pedro, it's not what you think!"" "But with a villain angry smile, Pedro pulls the trigger." "Ali!" "Ali!" "Ali!" "Okay, okay." "Shut up." "This is London, not Tunisia." "You're bloody late!" "Edgware Road, here we come!" "What's the matter with you?" "Are you blind?" "lt's not my fault, he was drunk." "You'll pay forthis." "Naief, don't be so hard on him, I'll pay for it." "Just for Madam Vivienne then." "Do it once more and you're out!" "Bastard." "Thanks." "l have to go now." "Martin is coming back from Malaysia in an hour." "I'll see you on Thursday." "Don't forget your stick." "How could I?" "Mama, I can't come back to Egypt now." "I have a good job and a lovely house." "What shall I tell your cousin?" "The girl can't wait any longer." "Good, now she can marry someone else." "Ali, do you know how much money you will lose?" "You are mad." "This marriage was your idea." "Tell her anything you want." "You are just like your father was." "You will be a failure." "all, it's your sister EIham." "Hi, EIham." "When you come home, bring me a dress from MarksSpencer." "Pedro." "What are you doing?" "What's happening?" "You stupid ass!" "Shut up, woman!" "You wrote in your shit story... that you have seen my wife screw this fucking Turkish bastard!" "I made it up. lt's a story, fantasy." "In my head." "Okay?" "Margarita will never do something like that." "She loves you, man." "He's right. I love you, Pedro!" "All right." "So what the hell happened to my room?" "It's not your room any more, pervert!" "Your shitty stuff is all here!" "Get out!" "It's 5 o'clock in the morning." "Where I go?" "No my problem." "Out!" "Give me my 80 pounds deposit." "Get out or I'll blow up your fucking fish!" "You hear me?" "Get out!" "Now!" "Hey, stop!" "Hey, stop, stop!" "Shit." "This happen when the man will not give up his dreams." "How many times you've been kicked out?" "Don't count." "Forget this writing shit and get a real life." "Start Halal meat shop ortaxi like everyone else." "I don't wanna be like everyone else, Ahmed." "Writing is my real life and I know I can make it here." "Bullshit." "You're a bloody foreigner." "No chance for you here without a British passport." "The White marriage is the solution." "Here, pick one." "From where you get all these?" "A telephone box?" "They are my clients." "I'm opening an agency for White marriages." "You must be joking." "No, I'm not." "You know how many foreigners without visa... there are in this country?" "I will make a fortune." "Sasha, very nice and cheap." "She charge only 5.000 pounds." "Oh, shit!" "5.000 pounds?" "I can't make this money even if I save forten years." "Do you have a blonde one?" "Blondes are more expensive, smart-arse." "Number 52?" "Yes." "Thank you." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you." "That's all right, madam." "You're Egyptian." "Yes." "May I touch your face?" "Sorry?" "May I touch your face?" "Yeah, why not." "Go ahead." "Oh, no." "That's my stop." "I have to go." "Your name, please?" "No, stay. I must talk to you." "Madam, please." "I have spent a lot of money on my education here." "All I'm asking for is 6 months to see if I can get work as a writer." "I must say, Mr Radwan, for a writer, your grasp of the English language is poor frankly." "Please." "Just 6 months." "No." "You must leave the country within 12 weeks time." "Under no circumstances should you seek paid employment." "is that clear?" "No work." "Cut, cut." "Very good." "Very good, guys." "Ten minutes while we change the reels." "Mr Paul, can you give me the money forthis session up front?" "Ali, you know the system." "Yes, but I need this money urgently." "The answer's no." "Okay?" "Can I ask you another favour?" "Can you give this script to the American producer when he comes?" "Ali, I'm not your bloody agent." "This is the third script you've given me this month." "This one is different." "It's full of action, sex." "He will love it." "You may well have written 'Pulp Fiction 2' for all I know, but this guy is not gonna be interested... in an unknown writer like you." "Okay?" "Hey, look." "Why don't you stick to what you can do really well." "Okay?" "Just let the music swim through your body." "Okay." "Don't force the movement." "Swim." "Swim." "Good." "Sing!" "Sing!" "Sing Arabic to me!" "Vivienne." "Yes?" "Can I borrow some money from you?" "How much?" "5.000 pounds." "Are you crazy or what?" "I don't have this kind of money." "Why do you want it?" "To get a White marriage." "So I lend you money for your White wedding?" "How romantic." "No, it's not a real marriage. lt's just fake." "That's the only way I can stay in this country." "I have only eleven weeks left." "Well, don't worry, nothing will happen to you." "There are thousands of people without a visa in this country." "They won't catch you, mon cheri." "It's getting late now." "Your money forthe lesson." "You deserve it." "And this is the number of my friend, Mark." "He's an artist I represent." "Looking for Arab models." "Why don't you give him a call?" "l will." "Better go now, mon cheri." "A script writer?" "Anything I've seen?" "l didn't have any luck yet." "But, I do voice over and I teach belly dancing." "So I heard." "I've never come across a male belly dancer before." "is it common?" "Some men do." "Do they?" "Yes." "I'm sure you're terribly good at it." "Could you stand in front of the desert?" "Can you look to the right?" "Put your sword up." "Just down a tiny bit." "Perfect." "Hold it." "The camera adores you." "Does it?" "Yeah, you're perfect." "Am I?" "Vivienne tells me you need somewhere to sleep." "Yeah, that's true." "This guy's a faggot." "He'll be after your dick." "Vivienne will not tell me to go if he's this kind of man." "A woman who can screw another man... on her husband's floor can do anything." "Listen, I'm tired of your snoring." "He's offering me 100 pounds each week for modelling." "And a free room." "How can I refuse?" "I need to save money for your White marriage great idea." "Okay, go." "But don't come to me and cry when he gets your arse." "I love the decor." "It's very... filmy." "Here's your front door key." "Thank you." "Make yourself at home. I'm off out." "If the phone rings, can you let it go to the machine?" "Unless it's for you." "Obviously." "All right, thank you." "Max, young and lonely." "Looking for real love." "You must be old and bold." "Daddy type." "Dirty underpants for sale." "Hi, it's Mark." "Leave a message." "Bye." "Mark, it's George." "We met in "Heaven"last week, remember?" "Mark is gay." "ls that a problem for you?" "Of course!" "I'm living with him." "And if he get excited and try to do something with me?" "Don't be silly, he knows you're not gay." "Anyway, I thought writers like new experiences." "Hello, hello." "Hi, Vivienne." "Tight bum." "Fancy a drink?" "As the night falls," "Mark gets ready for a new adventure." "He goes to "The Rough angels"club." "It is filled with men." "He steps inside with a big inviting smile." "Shit!" "Ali!" "Ali!" "What is happening?" "Sorry, I burnt my sausage." "Why are you writing in here?" "My light-bulb blew up and..." "l'd better get you another one." "Thank you, Mark." "Have we met before?" "No, we never met." "I've seen your face somewhere." "Anyway, I'm Dick from Malta." "Ali from Egypt." "I've been to Egypt many times." "Always have a wonderful time." "I'm so sorry about that." "lonely Mark drags Dick to his room." "Dick faIIs on him with an irresistible smile." "As their forbidden love goes on, their bodies melt together on the big sweaty bed." "But before they reach the climax, the rent boy, Dick, hits Mark with the bedside lamp." "Mark's face get white, the body stop moving." "And suddenly... silent." "Yep?" "I heard somebody screaming." "Are you all right?" "I'm absolutely fine." "What this for?" "You've got bags under your eyes." "l haven't slept all night!" "You'll get used to it." "Get used to what?" "Your new bed." "Look up." "Ali, try and look more tragic." "I wanna see some pain." "Beautiful." "Somebody wants to marry your reserve fake wife." "I told him to wait." "How much have you saved?" "If we get paid today, 150 pounds." "Fuck!" "150 quid?" "I can't get you a dead pigeon for bloody 150 quid." "You need to move fast." "How much time left on your visa?" "About ten weeks." "You're in real trouble." "Ask this fairy you live with to lend you some money." "He's a photographer, he must be loaded." "Mark?" "I wouldn't ask him for a glass of water." "Maybe, you just need to screw him first before you ask." "Do you think I am a bloody gigolo?" "You said it, not me." "Where is this bloody script?" "Jesus Christ!" "No, no, wait, wait." "He's just my lodger." "Your lodger?" "Yeah." "I'm not really into that at all." "Sean!" "Sean, wait!" "Sean!" "What are you doing in my bedroom?" "I..." "Looking forthe murder weapon?" "The murder weapon?" "A bedside lamp, if I remember rightly." "That's my script!" "The one starring Mark, the promiscuous gay painter." "Attacked by Dick from Malta, and bludgeoned to death by a bedside fucking lamp!" "I take my material from what's happening around me." "That doesn't mean I'm writing about you personally." "Means you are sick." "What about you?" "Every night you come home with a different fella." "One night a crazy guy will beat you or maybe kill you." "You have no right to..." "The police will think it's me!" "Why you laugh?" "I'm serious." "Stupidly for a second I thought you were worried about me." "Listen to me." "I live my life the way I choose." "Now, if you don't like that, fuck off out of here." "Tough shit, I've lost the key." "When?" "Oh, my God!" "Your key." "Why didn't you tell me she was ill?" "Come on, mate." "So I was right." "He tried to get your arse." "No, clever Dick, he didn't like what I wrote about him." "I can't believe you." "When will you learn?" "Ahmed, I'm tired, I'm wet." "I don't want to hear your boring speeches." "Can I stay tonight or not?" "Ali, you know you are welcome, but as you can see I have this chick." "You want to join us?" "She's a real hot one." "No, thank you. I had my dinner." "Vivienne!" "Vivienne!" "Can I come in?" "Wait, wait. I'll be back." "What the hell are you doing?" "Martin's upstairs." "Your friend Mark chucked me out." "You did something wrong." "No, I did nothing!" "l'll talk to him." "No, don't. I will never go back." "Yeah, I'm coming." "You have to go, come." "Please, I'm so cold." "Go." "Vivienne." "Can you keep my fish?" "Yes, of course." "Darling?" "is everything all right?" "Be good." "Ciao." "You were picked up at two o'clock this morning... with this so-called luggage." "You're wearing a handcuff!" "What were you doing?" "I have told you." "I was visiting some friends and they gave me the handcuff for good luck." "Tell us your friends' names and we'll call 'em." "I can't." "Why not?" "Because I can't." "This is really very funny." "Student visa." "You're not working, are you?" "Me?" "No." "I'm just enjoying London." "Where are you staying till this visa runs out?" "I was renting a room from a guy called Mark." "You mean "Mark"?" "The guy in this story?" "Yes." "It's his stuff." "He's been staying with me." "We had an argument and he left." "Sign this, sir, it'll bring matters to a close." "Your driving licence." "You're free to go now, sir." "Good night, Mark." "What about me?" "Wait, I've got to find out what Dick was up to." "Ali." "Get in." "Come on." "Thank you." "Thank you, too." "Now the whole police station knows what Mark gets up to in his bedroom." "Mark, I'm really sorry." "I shouldn't have gone in your room." "I shouldn't have read your bloody script." "l'm sorry about what I said." "l know what you've said." "Fuck!" "You wanker!" "Are you all right?" "No, I'm not." "My mother died tonight." "She's the one I talk to." "My father, he just hates the fact that I'm his only son, and I'm gay." "He looks at me like he's thinking..." ""What a sad waste of a man"." "I am dreading this funeral." "Oh God." "Why don't you take a friend with you?" "Dick from Malta?" "Those men... they are not friends, Ali." "Shall I come with you?" "What, you?" "Yeah." "Me." "What?" "We have entrusted our sister Mary to God's merciful keeping." "We now commit her body to the ground." "Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust." "In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died, was buried and rose again for us." "To him be the Glory, forever and ever, amen." "Amen." "Cucumber or egg?" "Thank you." "Cucumber, thank you." "Would you like a cup of tea?" "All right." "Does you father know?" "Know what?" "That you and Mark... are together." "Oh, no." "My father died a long time ago." "Good for him." "For rheumatism." "Anyway, you seem like a decent sort of chap." "Pity that Mark and I never understood each other." "I shall be going my self soon, too." "Look after him, would you?" "He's a fine man." "He always did like Eastern culture." "Tea?" "Thank you." "What was he talking about?" "You like Eastern culture?" "It was nice to meet you." "And you, Ali." "Drive safely." "I will." "There we are." "Ah, yes." "Thank you." "I feel free now." "Mark." "I didn't tell you before." "My visa is finishing in eight weeks." "I can't stay here unless I do White marriage, and I don't have the money." "White what?" "A fake marriage." "You can't do that, it's deeply illegal." "I know, I know." "But what can I do?" "I'm not gonna let you." "This is absurd." "You'll end up in prison." "There must be another way." "He's asking for another six months." "It's not that big deal." "Sir, this country is not a charity home." "Underthe present Act," "Mr. Radwan has no right to demand an extension to his visa, or seek employment." "May I ask you how you are supporting yourself?" "His father is terribly rich." "He send me money every week." "And sometimes twice a week." "Yeah." "This man's whole future depends upon you." "Give him six months." "Who are you?" "His friend." "Yes." "The White marriage is starting to look damn attractive." "I need 5.000 pounds to do it." "I only have 500." "Maybe Linda could cut a deal." "She's always broke." "Linda?" "Yeah, you know, the model in the photographs." "Bloody hell!" "That Marylin woman?" "Yeah." "Yes." "Phone her now." "l will." "Yes!" "I will." "Engaged." "Try this." "It's fully charged." "while tearing off a game of golf," "I may make a play forthe caddie, but when I do," "I don't follow through, 'cos my heart belongs to daddy." "If I invite a boy some night, to dine on my fine finnan haddy..." "Hi, come on in." "Lovely show." "Does Linda work here?" "Linda?" "The new blonde." "So I want to warn you Iaddie, though I know you're perfectly swell, that my heart belongs to my daddy, 'cos my daddy, he treats it so well." "She's on stage." "Wait here." "while tearing off a game of golf," "I may make a play forthe caddie, but when I do, I don't follow through, 'cos my heart belongs to daddy." "If I invite a boy some night, to dine on my fine finnan haddy," "I just adore, he's asking for more, 'cos my heart belongs to daddy." "So I want to warn you Iaddie, though I know you're perfectly swell, that my heart belongs to my daddy, 'cos my daddy," "'cos my daddy, he treats it so... well." "You're the Egyptian who wants to marry me?" "Yeah. I mean, that's not a real marriage." "lt's just fake to get my visa." "Mark tells me you're a screenwriter." "Anything famous?" "l haven't been lucky yet." "This'll bring you luck." "l hope so." "My faith healer has one." "She's just crazy about Egypt." "She talks about it all the time." "Really?" "So, I've been given it lots of thought, and I've decided." "l can help you." "Yes, great!" "Thank you!" "I mean, thank you." "But you sound a little bit American." "That's because I'm American, silly." "My mother is from New York and my father is from England, so I have a British passport." "I can do it for 3.000 pounds." "3.000!" "Yeah." "Something the matter?" "Oh, no." "I have only 500." "500?" "I can't marry you forthat." "That's only what I've saved." "I give you the rest as soon as I can." "Please, don't say no." "Please." "Okay, I'll do it." "But no wedding bells till I get the rest of it." "I understand." "And remember, this is just business." "Yeah, I know." "You're on now, Marilyn." "I'm coming, Tina." "Okay." "Okay, I mean, thank you again." "Yes, yes!" "She said yes!" "She said yes!" "She said yes!" "Oh, man, can you believe it?" "Me and Marilyn Monroe." "I just couldn't believe my ears..." "She will marry me." "Okay, bastard." "You take my idea and not pay me." "How would you get the money in 7 weeks?" "I will work very hard and save every penny." "And what about if you get caught?" "Get caught?" "Why?" "You said it's safe." "I thought that, but yesterday, the Immigration bastards... search my flat to prove that my fake wife is living with me." "I'm afraid, Ali." "They could deport me if they prove I make a fake marriage." "It's your fault, Ahmed." "Offering your service to everyone." "Sometime I wonder why we are doing this." "You can go back to Tunisia and farm your father's land." "I wish I could, but how?" "All my village will be waiting for me to see how much money I made." "I told them I have a big villa, two Mercedes, and three restaurants." "Three bloody restaurants!" "How can I go now?" "It's marvellous exercise, I'm told." "You're a very good dance teacher." "Not really." "I'd love to see you, but I travel all the time." "I tell you something, Ali." "Since Vivienne started the dance workshop with you, she's become..." "How shall I put it?" "Even more lovely to come home to." "Merci, mon cheri." "Can you excuse me?" "Very nice." "Let's look at that one." "That's a good one." "Very well hung." "Isn't Fernando gorgeous?" "He's just agreed to be my next model." "Mark, I think I should move out." "We'll be really quiet, I promise." "No, that's not the reason, man." "I found out it's dangerous not to live with my fake wife." "If Linda has a room, I think I should move there, no?" "If we get married, we have to live together." "Just to convince the Immigration people." "Like that film "Green Card"?" "Yeah, something like that." "Can I get a couple of shots?" "Thank you." "As a matter of fact, I've a very nice room that's empty right now." "Great!" "Can I move in?" "Yes, for 40 pounds a week." "If we're going to get married, I need the rest of the money soon." "Yes, I know." "Very soon, I promise." "Good afternoon, sir." "Nice little room." "Thanks, Linda." "Why you keep bothering me?" "Linda, I love you, baby!" "You're here." "I came this afternoon." "Are you all right?" "I saw this man bothering you." "He's just some crazy fan who's always following me." "But that's showbiz." "I bought some flowers for you." "That's so sweet." "l hope it didn't cost you too much." "Oh, no." "That's the rent forthe week." "Thanks. I'll get you a receipt." "So any news about the rest of the money?" "l really need it fast, you know?" "l'm doing my best, I promise you." "Thank you." "Okay, goodnight." "Exterior marilyn's flat, night." "Aziz sees a man trying to attack his blonde dream girl, marylin." "He rushes outside and beats him up." "The man runs away and marilyn hugs Aziz, and gives him a Iong kiss." "Aziz is in a seven heaven." "Martin's away in Bangladesh for a few days." "Come around tonight and feed your little fish." "She's missing you." "l'm missing hertoo." "l'm really feeling tired tonight and..." "Okay." "Have a nice rest then." "Ali!" "What are you doing here?" "I finish early and I thought we could share a cab to the flat." "Maybe this fan follows you." "That's so sweet." "You don't have to worry about me." "That's what a fake husband is for." "Do you have a dream, Linda?" "Yes, to be a star." "To be famous." "Could you imagine what it would be like to be loved forever... and to always be thought of as beautiful?" "I'm sure you'll be a star." "You are very talented and very pretty." "You really think so?" "Yeah." "Gosh!" "I've never been told I was pretty before, even when I was little." "All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they're not." "You must have a dream too, Ali." "Mine is, get my visa, my own place," "marry the girl I love, and be a famous, rich screenwriter." "Have my name on the screen, and go to Hollywood." "That's all." "Wait." "Thank you." "Linda." "I want to tell you something." "Yes?" "I'm writing a script about you." "A script about me?" "Yeah. I mean, it's not about you personally." "It's based on your character." "And I hope you don't mind." "No, I don't mind at all." "A script about me?" "This is wonderful." "And I hope to sell it quickly and give you the rest of the money." "Yes. I'm having a birthday party this Monday." "Would you like to come?" "Yeah." "I could introduce you to a movie director who might help you." "That's great." "I will be there, of course." "This could be like you're Arthur and... I'm Marilyn and maybe you could write something like "The Misfits"." "Or like "Let's Make Love"." "Amanda." "She sings and dances, you know." "And I sing." "Suzy, swim." "Swim more." "Yes, like that." "Very good." "Very good." "Yeah." "Maintenant, maintenant!" "Okay, Ali." "What's the matter?" "Vivienne, listen." "Can we just be friends?" "Are you fucking that whore you live with?" "No, I'm not and she's not a whore!" "Sorry to insult you princess." "I just find it hard since I met your husband, all right?" "Come on, mon cheri, he's got his own mistress too." "No!" "Come on, you know I like you." "You're very special to me." "Yeah, I like you too." "But try to understand." "I feel like a gigolo." "And I just can't do it any more." "Suddenly you got a conscience?" "Maybe you should get one too." "Go!" "Go then!" "Happy birthday, Linda." "I bought this for you." "Oh, it's beautiful, Ali." "For good luck." "There's Sam." "He's the movie director." "Happy birthday." "You look gorgeous." "Thank you, Sam." "You shouldn't have." "My pleasure." "This is Ali, the screenwriter." "He's writing a script about you." "Hi." "This script sounds really interesting." "We should meet up." "Yeah." "Look, here's my mobile." "We could meet in 'Jerry's'." "ls next Thursday cool?" "Yeah, very cool." "We're gonna have a fabulous time working together." "Ali." "Good luck." "Ali." "I hate to say it but, gay films were an '80s thing, done to death." ""My Nights with Mark" is different." "It's about the relationship between a gay guy and a straight guy." "Like I say, done to death." "Where's your script about Linda?" "I haven't finished it yet." "Look, Ali, I like your writing, you know." "It's strange, it's weird, it breaks the rules, but what about something more personal?" "What about "Anthony and Cleopatra"?" "Modern version, obviously." "Linda could play the lead." "Linda?" "Yeah. I think she'd make a great Cleopatra." "Like to have a go?" "I will think about it." "I can get you 4.000." "4.000?" "I will do it." "Leave Marilyn alone, you black bastard!" "She's mine." "Mine!" "She's my fiancee. I can't leave her." "She's your fucking fiancee?" "Your fucking fiancee is she?" "is she?" "Do you know his name?" "He will not get away with this!" "Don't talk like that." "He could have really hurt you." "I don't care!" "Could you just not talk about him any more?" "It's spoiling our wonderful news." "Ali, promise me, promise me you'll write the best script you ever wrote." "I promise you I will write the best script ever." "Chef!" "By the nile, beneath the desert moon, in the shadow of the golden pyramids," "Anthony, the victorious soldier, is relaxing in the bath." "The door open wide and cleopatra appears in a Iong floaty nightie." "With food and wine." "She walks into the water, and kisses him passionately." "Well done, Ali." "That's the one." "Apart from some tweaks to the middle, of course." "I really cried when she poisoned herself." "lt's wonderful." "Thank you." "When do I get the money?" "Soon as we start filming." "First day of the shoot." "When I get the money we must get married quickly." "My time is running out." "I have only 1 7 days left." "Yes, we'll do it, Ali." "But I need the money first." "You know, I always wondered if I'd ever make it... to the other side of the street." "Thank you, Ali for making my dreams come true." "Hi, Lisa." "That's great." "Five minute break." "Thank you." "Ali." "Ali." "Congratulations." "The boys told me one of your scripts is gonna be going into production." "Thank you, Mr Paul." "If the producer needs a dubbing supervisor, will you give him my name?" "Yes, of course." "Who's your director?" "Do I know him?" "Sam Smith." "Yeah, definitely rings a bell." "Well done." "I always knew you had it in you." "They film my script next week." "Your son's picture will be all over the English newspapers." "God bless you, my son." "I always pray for you, Ali." "Listen, mama." "I'm getting married to an English girl." "What did you say?" "An English girl?" "Don't get mad at me. I love her!" "And you will like hertoo." "Guess who she looks like." "Who?" "marilyn Monroe." "Marilyn?" "You look good." "Oh, he's here." "Hi. I'm Sam's assistant." "I've come to take you to the studio." "We can't take you with us." "What?" "This is my first script to be filmed." "I have to go." "He's the screen writer." "And I'm supposed to get paid today." "I'll have a word." "Maybe next week." "Better go or we'll fall behind schedule." "Can you follow this car?" "I knew there was a kissing scene, but nobody said anything about having sex with Anthony in a bath." "This is porn, Sam!" "Real sex in films is coming back." "I promise you." "This is my first film." "Don't mess it up." "I can't. I can't do it." "No-one's ever heard of you." "This is your big break." "Even Marilyn started in porn." "Please, I'm begging you." "I don't think this is a good idea." "Get your hands of her, you bastard!" "I can explain." "This is what you make me do, what you say about my country?" "is this what you left me for?" "Okay, just stop it!" "Get off him!" "Who the fuck are you?" "l'm the writer, you bastard!" "Gosh!" "I thought it was my big break." "Me too." "Maybe Sam was right." "Maybe I should have just gone through with it." "Linda." "We must not let that bastard get us down." "You are a good actress." "Me and you." "We will do it, okay?" "No." "Ali." "Let's just be friends." "But I love you." "I can't hide it any more." "You do?" "Yes." "Since the first time I saw you." "But you don't deserve me." "You deserve a woman people respect." "But I do respect you." "No man's ever said that to me." "Because I love you." "You really do?" "I wanna marry you." "I mean for real." "I want you to be my real wife." "You wanna marry me for real?" "Yes, I do. I even told my mother." "I can't." "Did I say something wrong?" "No." "I just... I just wanna be alone right now, please." "Could you go?" "What's happening?" "I can't marry you, Ali." "I'm already married." "What?" "The crazy fan." "That's my husband." "I married him when I was nineteen." "I thought it was a good idea at the time." "Then he started getting really jealous with me." "It got so bad... that he cut someone just fortalking to me." "So he got sent away for a couple of years." "And then he left me some money that I was supposed to take care... and I took it." "I ran with it." "And he's been after me ever since." "And he won't divorce me until I give him his money back." "That's why you agreed to marry me?" "To give him my money?" "But you could never marry me in time." "And you always know this?" "Are you all right?" "I took 40 sleeping pills." "That was fucking rude." "Come on." "I still can't believe she's married." "Yesterday I have everything." "A beautiful wife, a film, a visa." "It's all gone now." "I don't know what to do." "And I have less than two weeks." "Look, I'll lend you the money and you can pay me back... whenever." "Thank you, Mark." "I will never forget your help." "Cut the Egyptian drama, please." "How is she, miss?" "She'll survive." "Thank you." "Thank you, they're very pretty." "The doctor says you can go home tomorrow." "Ali." "I'm not going home." "I'm going to stay with a friend for a while." "I've decided... that I just need to find Linda again." "You know?" "I talked to my faith healer, and she gave me this address," "where you can stay." "She has an empty room in her house... and she won't charge you anything." "I don't want another room." "I want you, Linda." "I love you." "Don't say that, Ali." "That wasn't me you loved." "I'm through with love," "I'II never fail again." "Said adieu to love, don't ever call again." "For I must have you or no-one." "And so I'm through with love." "I've locked my heart," "I'II keep my feelings there." "I've stocked my heart, with icy frigid air." "And I need to care for no-one." "Because I'm through with love." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Good evening." "You're Linda's friend." "Such a lively girl." "So full of dreams." "Let's hope she'll find her way." "We met before on the bus." "Do you remember?" "You're very sad, aren't you?" "I know what you've been through, but time will heal it." "Oh good." "You still have yours." "Welcome home, Ali." "Would you like some cake?" "No." "I made some specially." "The way you like it." "Come." "No, thank you. I've had enough." "You used to love cakes." "So, how is your writing going?" "How did you know I'm a writer?" "Did Linda tell you that?" "Yes." "But let's just say I know a lot about you anyway." "l told you, that Marilyn..." "You shut up!" "I really don't want to talk about it any more." "My friend Mark lent me 1.000 pounds." "So just take it and get me a cheap fake bride." "I need to move fast now." "See I've told you, he is a good man." "And guess what, I saved a beautiful Scottish bride for you." "l give her a call now." "Can't we use a local one?" "From London?" "For 1.000 fucking quid?" "No way." "Don't worry." "hello?" "hello." "Is this Susan MacdonaId?" "Aye." "Hi, it's Ahmed, your agent." "How are you?" "l'm fine." "Guess what I have for you?" "A husband." "Yes." "Oh, really?" "He just sitting here with me." "Is he handsome?" "Yes, yes." "would you Iike to talk to him?" "Okay, put him on." "hello?" "Hi, Susan." "Oh no, just black, thank you." "You used to have it with milk." "Why you talk to me as if you have known me before?" "I'm not surprised you don't remember." "lt's been a long time." "What are you talking about?" "Would you please tell me what's going on?" "In 1935 when I was eight, I moved with my family to Luxor." "My father was an Egyptologist." "We had a cook in Luxor called Mahmoud." "His son was two years olderthan me." "We used to play together all the time." "This little boy grew up to be the most handsome man in the world." "And very clever." "He wanted to read English at University in London, and become a playwright." "He wrote the most beautiful stories." "And he loved my cakes." "Everyone was very proud of him." "Until they found out that he and I were in love... and planned to marry as soon as he'd finished his military service." "My father sacked our cook and sent me back to England." "I was devastated." "But my Egyptian lover and I wrote to each other in secret." "We were determined to get married." "Whateverthe cost." "He sent me this." "We promised each other we would always wear one until we met again." "But then the '48 war started." "He was killed in action within a few weeks." "I was the saddest girl on earth." "I went to Egypt to visit his grave." "And there his spirit came to me." "And promised me he would return." "Soon afterwards I was very ill and lost my eyesight." "But I was never sad." "And I waited, and waited." "I'm sorry." "His name was Ali." "When I met you on the bus, I was sure that you were him." "You are my Ali." "Madam, it doesn't mean because my name is Ali that I'm your Ali." "There are millions of Alis in Egypt, and half of them look like me." "I knew it would be hard for you to believe, but it is the truth." "You are his reincarnation." "That's impossible!" "You're wrong, Ali." "Your past has made you what you are." "This is the only photograph of us l ever had." "And this is his last letter." "See, that's not my handwriting." "Handwriting often changes during reincarnation." "These are all from him." "Read them if you want." "You wrote them." "So, where is my Scottish bride?" "I was supposed to meet hertoday." "Yes, but she can't come, one of her kids is ill." "But she'll be here next week." "Are you sure about this woman?" "Of course." "She's one of the best." "Don't worry, just leave it to me." "What's happened...?" "What's happened to your hair?" "This is my new look." "To match my new fake passport." "I am Farouk Hasanien." "Twenty-nine, a "ginger" and beautiful." "Don't show it to everybody." "Orthey will get you this time." "In their dreams." "Listen, could I stay in your place... until I find another room?" "I left my flat." "Immigration fuckers are after me." "Ahmed, I can't." "This woman is very strange." "l wish I could move too." "l can't believe your sad luck." "Of whole of London you land in her house. lt's amazing." "is she after your dick yet?" "How I ache to have you in my arms." "If I can't hold you soon I shall die." "I long for every part of you, my dearest Sarah." "I miss every inch of you." "Being reunited with you in London... will give me all I need to become a great writer." "Oh, shit, shit!" "Shit, shit!" "I looked this out for you." "It's your galabia." "You gave it to me before I came to London." "Remember?" "It still has your smell." "Listen, I read them all." "He was a very romantic man." "Yes, you were." "Okay, okay, if I said I believe in that I am him, and this is my galabia, what you expect me to do?" "To fulfil the second half of your promise." "Which is what?" "To marry me." "You seriously want me to marry you?" "Well, it's what you promised." "But madam, I'm..." "l'm not a madam." "I've never married." "And no other man has evertouched me." "I've saved myself for you." "As this is my witness." "That's very kind of you, but as you can see, I'm old enough to be your grandson. lf you had one." "You should have come back 40 years ago when I was young." "And what your family will say?" "I have no family, Ali." "I only have you." "Please, Ali." "I've waited all my life for you." "Please, don't disappoint me now." "I'm sorry, Miss Stevenson." "I wish I can help you." "But I can't." "Hi, Mark and Fernando are in Spain." "We'II get in touch when we get back." "Hi." "Oh, Ali." "You're back." "I thought you'd gone to Egypt." "I'm sorry I haven't been in contact with you." "I've discovered that other men could teach dance betterthan you, and they don't feel bad about it later." "Mon cheri." "Go, Ahmed." "Go away." "I have a knife in my hand." "Come on, don't be silly." "Why you did that to me?" "I have no place to sleep." "So she offered me to stay at her house for four days." "She's using you to get her revenge on me!" "Come on, don't flatter yourself." "Vivienne was right when she said you were bloody complex." "Where is my Scottish bride?" "Everyday you say "tomorrow, tomorrow"." "is this bloody fake marriage gonna happen or not?" "lt will, but you must wait." "l can't wait!" "Give me my money back." "I will get one myself." "l don't have the money." "What?" "I had to use it for my fake passport." "So I could stay and organise your marriage." "You fucking spent my money?" "l will give it to you next week!" "Next week it will be too late!" "I got nearly no time!" "I can't believe it!" "You have made the declarations prescribed by law, and a solemn and binding contract with each other, and now I pronounce you man and wife." "You may kiss the bride." "No, I'm not joking." "We have the wedding of the century." "Ali." "Since we have now been married, I believe I have the right to ask just one more thing of you." "Please, call me Sarah." "I'm your wife now." "Shame on you!" "Getting married without me... I waited forthis day all my life." "I'm sorry, mama. lt was very quick." "Send me the wedding pictures to see what she's like." "She's great." "You will like her." "Tell me , Ali... is she a... virgin or...?" "Yes, she's a virgin." "She was waiting for me." "Hi." "Hi." "What have you done?" "Are you crazy?" "What are you talking about?" "l'm talking about this." "You was afraid I will take your chick away from you." "And that is why you didn't want me to stay there." "Why didn't you tell me you fancy ancient women?" "I could find you a cheap one." "Five years younger and not blind." "Fuck you, Ahmed!" "What you want me to do?" "You spent all my money!" "You use everyone!" "You're just a little shit, man!" "No, you're a piece of shit!" "What about you?" "You use everybody, too." "And whatever you will get is what you deserve!" "Ahmed." "Yes?" "The police wants to talk to you." "Oh, shit." "Are you Ahmed Zahoud?" "l've done nothing." "You don't have to say anything." "You're finished as well." "I never faked any passport!" "This is for you, Ali." "I don't want to interfere in your life, but you've been in your room fortwo days now." "Are you not going to work?" "No. I left." "Was it because of me?" "Yes." "Sarah, I'm not your Ali." "I have done a bad thing." "And he was a good man." "He would not have done what I did." "I only married you because of my visa." "Do you think I don't know?" "But that isn't the real truth, Ali." "We married because that's fate." "Our fate." "Oh, look at me for a moment." "You made me the happiest girl in town." "Have I?" "Yes, Ali, you have." "But I did it for me." "But you made me happy." "You fulfilled your promise." "You're free to go if you want to." "Come in." "l'm very sorry for what I've done." "lt's all right. I understand." "Sarah." "Was Ali a good writer?" "He was a great writer." "He always wrote from his heart." "You're a good writertoo." "That's why God has given you another chance." "Don't lose it." "Well, Mr Radwan." "We can find no reason not to give you a visa, since you are now married to a British citizen." "Congratulations to the bride and groom." "Thank you." "Thank you for everything, Sarah." "Thank you too, Ali." "I'm so happy you came back to me." "To your visa and our fate together." "Cheers." "Can you taste it?" "Good afternoon and welcome." "Very good." "Sarah, it's started!" "Our first subject is reincarnation." "Is life really betterthe second time?" "How do I look?" "Very beautiful." "Sarah Radwan and her young Egyptian husband all." "Good afternoon to you both." "You believe you met him over 60 years ago?" "What convinced you that all would return?" "Mark." "What?" "Mark, come in here." "lt's Ali on the television!" "Oh my God!" "And when all did return, did you recognise him straight away?" "You don't get much for 1.000 pounds." "I've been very lucky." "Meeting Sarah changed everything for me." "But that may be the one thing." "You thought that this was somehow always meant to be?" "Oh, yes, I..." "salut." "Oh shit." "Ali?" "Meeting Sarah has helped me." "Wanker!" "He should be here, not me!" "Other boyfriends whilst all's been away?" "No other man has touched me all these years." "What?" "I waited for him." "all, do you believe that you are the all that died in 1948?" "I don't know if I believe in reincarnation to be honest." "But I believe in second chance." "We'd all like to believe in a second chance in our life." "What about going to Luxor on a Nile cruise?" "And then we fly to Alexandria?" "What do you think?" "Luxor." "That would be wonderful." "I could show you where we used to live." "Something better." "Go to Cairo first..." "And then Luxor fortwo weeks." "Sounds good too, no?" "Sarah?" "Sarah?" "Sarah?" "For as much as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy... to take unto Himself the soul of our dear sister Sarah here departed." "We therefore commit her body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust." "In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ, who shall change our vile body, that it may be like unto His glorious body." "I'm getting divorced next week." "Finally." "And then in September I'm going to drama school." "I always thought I had a flare for drama." "I wanna do it right this time, Ali." "What about you?" "I've got everything I was running after." "A big house, a visa, a proper commission for my next project." "But I, I really want to go to Egypt for a little while." "I'm missing my family so badly." "All the time I've been here, I was trying to escape what I am." "And Sarah, waited because she loved it." "Shall we all go and eat somewhere?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I could eat something." "Spanish?" "How about Egyptian?" "This script is dedicated to my beloved wife Sarah." "Hi." "I came to see the room." "Oh yes, sorry. I completely forgot." "What a beautiful view." "I love the room." "Have we met before?" "l don't think so." "You look so familiar." "That's a lovely picture." "I was baking a cake." "Will you take some with me?" "l'd love to." "lt's very good." "Thank you." "My wife taught me." "Are you married?" "Oh, I was." "But my wife is dead now." "I'm sorry." "You're a writer, aren't you?" "How did you know?" "Sorry, I forget to introduce myself." "My name is Ali." "And my name's Sarah." "This is so good." "You must have known I was coming." "Sorry?" "It's a funny song my parents used to sing." "If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake." "Baked a cake." "Baked a cake." "Yes. I knew you would be coming."