"Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to see an unforgettable show:" "A film destined to become immortal, as immortal as the music which will follow, and which will be interpreted through animation." "Beginning with his childhood fantasies, the greatest ambition that burns and swells within the soul of every creative animator is to illustrate music, to give visual form and color to its notes." "With this film we have finally succeeded in achieving this union of animation and classical music, a union we are sure is destined to live on throughout the history of film." "A new and original film that has even astonished us, the men responsible, the men who, quite modestly speaking, can be called its creators." "A film in which... in which..." "A film in which you will see the music and listen to the drawings." "You might call it a film of magic, a fantasia." "Hello?" "Yes." "Who's speaking?" "Who is this?" "What do you mean, who am I?" "Who is it you wish to speak to?" "California?" "It's Hollywood." "Hello!" "Yes." "What?" "You've already..." "I don't understand." "I'm sorry." "You've already done this?" "Look, if this is some kind of joke, I'm in no mood..." "There must be some misunderstanding." "You're very ill-mannered." "That's right..." "ill-mannered and a liar!" "Yes, I said you're a liar!" "A liar from California!" "It's nothing." "They're mad." "Mad as hatters." "They insist that our film... this is all so ridiculous... was already made by a certain fellow years ago." "A certain someone by the name of Prisney or Grisney." "Some American." "In any case, before you go around opening your big mouth, see the film first!" "Where were we?" "Settle down now." "Damned hags!" "What's this racket?" "Calm down!" "All right, let's go." "Hurry up!" "No time to lose." "The film's already started." "Run!" "Move it!" "Get the lead out!" "Come on!" "Get in the car." "It's time you earned your keep." "We haven't kept you here out of charity!" "Where are our instruments?" "They're already at the theater, along with your clothes." "Hold on tight when we get moving." "You wouldn't want to hurt yourself now of all times, would you?" "Pisney has already done this?" "Let's go!" "Hiring an orchestra wasn't a problem." "But the principle challenge that remained was to secure the creative collaboration of a true artist." "A free artist." "Free of all conditioning, free of all compromise, an animator capable of independent self-expression." "How's it going?" "You look more cheerful than usual." "You knew this was your big day, huh?" "Tell the truth." "You knew it!" "Finding the ideal artist to create our animation was no small task." "We had to bind him..." "bind him to ourselves in a contract based on trust and mutual respect." "Come on, now." "After five years hanging around, you can't be tired!" "That's good." "On your feet." "Hurry, the orchestra's waiting." "Can't you hear it?" "Let's go!" "Wash your dentures if you want to play trombone." "Kick the drums, not me, thank you." " I'll do whatever I want." " Kick her!" "If they hadn't put me in the first row, I wouldn't have done it." "I made it clear I wouldn't do nude scenes." "Where are you going?" "The movie world is dreadful." "I've always defended my virtue." "And so it's come!" "The great moment is here." "This has never been done..." "Just a moment." "And so it's come!" "The great moment..." "I said wait a minute." "And so it's come!" "The great moment is here." "The only thing missing now is the orchestra conductor!" "Girls, babes, beauties, let's get started with Debussy's Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun." "A wonderful piece!" "There'll certainly be lots to inspire our artist's imagination as he renders this music in visual form and gives it new life." "Yes, relying on nothing more than his trusty pencil," "I'm sure he'll succeed in bringing new life... in bringing new life to this great piece of music." "The artist creates!" "Ready, girls?" "The Debussy piece!" "Good." "Really great." "Sit down or I'll hang you back on the wall!" "Sit down!" "I did not enjoy that." "You didn't entertain me!" "Quite an afternoon, eh?" "Granny!" "How do you feel?" "A bit scattered, maestro." "Pick up all the pieces, and don't miss any!" "Cheer up!" "Everything's all right." "I'm feeling a bit scattered, maestro." "How's it going, girls?" "Everyone all right?" "Suppose we try some simple exercises." "Stand up... and sit down." "And up... and down again." "Hey, you there." "Me?" "Come with me for a minute." "Do as he says." "Come along, granny." "You look a little pale, and your reflexes are a bit impaired." "It's nothing." "You'll get over it." "It's not easy maintaining order in an orchestra." "It calls for an iron fist in a velvet " "Glove!" "An iron first in a velvet glove." "Girls, our second piece will be Dvorak's Slavic Dance No. 7." "Mind you, the tempo is allegro." "Poor guy hasn't even noticed yet!" "Take a break, everyone!" "Bohemia crystal." "Fruit, uh... exotic fruit." "Chicken." "A potato." "We're catching on fire here." "Me too!" "Is it good?" "So, maestro, what's next on the program?" "Ravel's Bolero." "Ah, Ravel's Bolero." "And who wrote that?" "Ravel." "Of course." "Ravel's Bolero was written by Ravel." "Who else?" "Ravel's Bolero." "A great piece!" "Ravel, the great, uh..." "French composer." " French, right?" " Yeah." "At least on his mother's side." "His father was from Umbria." "Born in Gubbio, if I'm not mistaken." "In the very heart of Umbria." ""Bolero"is a magical word." "A fantasy of color and sound." "There are thousands of ways to describe this great musical work." "Go over there and grab the chicken." "Go on!" "...in a "bolerian" vein." "Ravel's Bolero." "We didn't come here to stuff our faces." "I think this is the end of Part One." "END OF PART ONE" "PART TWO" "What's that ape doing here?" "There's no ape in the script." "Other animals, yes, but no ape." "Reminds me of a young man I met back in 1912, before the First World War." "They just don't make men like that anymore." "Snow in the theater." "A very bad sign." "Let me go!" "This can't be happening!" "What is he doing?" "He's getting the women too excited!" "I knew it." "When I get nervous, my eye clamps shut." "The next piece is Sibelius' Valse Triste." "And you better get it right, or I'll hang you back up on the wall." "Remember the wall?" "Bravo!" "What feeling!" "We can't go on like this." "The pieces turn out too sad!" "He has no sense of humor!" "I'm gonna put him back on the wall!" "He'll rot in chains!" "Calm down, now!" "Aren't we equally to blame?" "An artist needs beauty in order to express himself best, and frankly speaking, those particular girls may not be ideal." "Nonsense!" "Art is art!" "Wait a minute." "I've got an idea." "What if we were to find him a woman?" "A woman he could be with." "Then he'd really start creating." "It'd be perfect!" "I'm going to find one." "Wait here." "I'll be right back." "Mr. Artist, how's it going?" "You look a bit run-down." "I've got some fun for you." "I know a cozy little hideaway." "Come back here." "Get in there." "You know what we want." "Easy as falling off a log." "You get in the piano, and nature will do the rest." "Go on, now!" "Hello, everyone!" "Our orchestra, such as it is, the piano, and our artist." "Try to cheer him up." "Want a hand?" "The next piece promises to be lively and full of spice." "A concerto by Vivaldi." "Think we're overdoing it?" "Let's get him out." "Yeah, looks like they're having too much fun." "That should be enough." "Lift up the lid." "That's the snag with these old pianos." "Getting in is a breeze, but getting out can be a problem." "You better make me laugh now, or I'll tear you apart piece by piece!" "He looks better already." "He'd better, or I'll see that he does!" "He's much more alive." "Look at his eyes!" "I'll tear them out!" "You'll see." "The next piece will be fantastic!" "Get ready." "Curtain!" "Curtain!" "I'll show you!" "I'll take this pianist and throw her on your head!" "I'll break every bone in your body!" "It's all right!" "It's nothing, nothing at all." "Just a little misunderstanding." "Let her go, will you?" "A small difference of opinion." "It's absolutely nothing." "Turn the camera around." "It's nothing at all." "The next number on our program is the famous Firebird, by Igor Stravinsky." "A very famous piece." "Knock it off!" "Turn the camera around." "Igor Stravinsky." "One of the most renowned..." "A cascade of notes." "It's music that..." "Let me go!" "I don't have insurance!" "Put me down!" "Voilà!" "Everything is just fine." "The conductor is taking just a few moments to himself, but he'll be back with us very soon." "Okay." "Where's the camera?" "Where is the camera?" "Ah, there it is." "With that little interruption behind us, our performance will now continue with Dostoyevsky's Firebird." "As they say in English..." "Which in Italian would mean..." "A snake!" "Stop!" "Where are you going?" "Come back!" "It's just a snake!" "Stop!" "We've got antidote for snake bite!" "There's no problem!" "We've got tons of antidote!" "Damn it, you old hags!" "Stop!" "Do you hear?" "Stop, I say!" "Traitors!" "Leaving me at a time like this." "I even have a cold." "And all because of a little snake." "Look!" "There's nothing left!" "Everything's destroyed!" "And here we are once again!" "Now for a finale of a different sort, one we had planned and prepared." "One that needs neither orchestra nor conductor nor music." "I'm happy to say our artist is still here with us." "Our artist who..." "What are you doing?" "What the devil are you doing?" "Drawing her?" "What do you think you're doing?" "You can't leave me here like this!" "Hey, wait a second!" "Wait for me!" "I'm going with you!" "I want to go too!" "Wait!" "Don't go!" "How will we finish the film?" "We haven't done a finale!" "Wait for me!" "We have to do a finale!" "I have to find a good idea for a finale." "The telephone!" "That's it!" "I'll call the archives." "Hello, Franceschini?" "You have to help me find a finale!" "Any finale at all." "The files are full of'em!" "Bring me one right away!" "A finale." "It's all over." "Ready, girls?" "We've got to do Stravinsky's Firebird." "It's over with." "The finale, then." "That's all over with too." "You might as well go back down there." "We're unemployed, then." "Unemployed... until the next movie." "I've already got an idea." "A brand-new idea." "We could do a love story." "A love story?" "But not the usual kind about men and women." "Lots of men with lots of women." "Wife-swapping?" "No, not that same old stuff." "Something different." "I like asymmetry." "Seven men and one woman." "That'll cost a lot." "No, not at all." "We'll get little tiny men... and we'll make the woman real tall." "It'll be fantastic!" "Sounds scary." "Careful." "What do you mean, scary?" "Seven little workers, so you get the social context, too." "A mine!" "They'll work in a mine!" "I can see them now, singing happily." "Have you thought of a title?" "That'll be easy." "Let's see." ""Sleeping Beauty."" "Now, keep it under your hat or some screenwriter hack might steal the idea." "You can't trust anyone these days." "He'll change the title, play up the sex, and give it some crazy name like" "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves." "And then we'll be screwed!"