"{\cHFFFFFF}This programme contains {\cHFFFFFF}strong language." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} 'And Seb Coe gets the gold medal...'" "{\cHFFFFFF}# There may be trouble ahead" "{\cHFFFFFF}# But while there's moonlight {\cHFFFFFF}and music" "{\cHFFFFFF}# And love and romance" "{\cHFFFFFF}# Let's face the music and dance" "{\cHFFFFFF}# Let's face the music {\cHFFFFFF}and dance. #" "{\cHFFFFFF}I don't care." "Well... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} It's Monday morning." "Ian Fletcher." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Over the weekend he's run into {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} problems with his wife" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} over the level of his commitment {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to a recent programme she's drawn up" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} for him to reconnect {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} with his emotional life." "{\cHFFFFFF}That's what you don't seem to... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} But things are about to get worse." "I don't care." "hi." "Morning." "we have a giant pile of horse {\cHFFFFFF}shit on the pavement outside.{\cHFFFF00} Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm assuming that's not an accident." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} They're looking at the CCTV now." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Apparently it was just there {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} this morning." "it's an accident {\cHFFFFFF}of truly epic proportions." "{\cHFFFFFF}I pity the horse involved." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Seb's office have been trying {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} to get hold of you." "I know." "I thought I'd better {\cHFFFFFF}see the size of it for myself first." "{\cHFFFFFF}isn't it?" "{\cHFFFF00} I think that's the idea." "it {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} might be a better idea if you dealt {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} with it rather than Seb.{\cHFFFFFF} Great." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I think he feels it might be..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} That's a much better idea." "Great." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Do you want a cinnamon Danish whirl {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} with your cappuccino?" "{\cHFFFFFF} Why not?" "so I picked one up {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} just in case." "oh...sure." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} local feeling about the decision" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to use Greenwich Park as a venue {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} for Equestrian events in 2012 {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} is running high." "uh... so... apparently he called {\cHFFFFFF}the Chair of the Planning Committee {\cHFFFFFF}a useless fatso... but even so.." "{\cHFFFFFF}Absolutely." "absolutely." "absolutely." "that's fine." "{\cHFFFFFF}Strategically the last thing we need" "{\cHFFFFFF}is for you to be {\cHFFFFFF}wading knee deep in... {\cHFFFFFF}not in the least..." "'" "{\cHFFFFFF}but it makes sense {\cHFFFFFF}to keep Seb out of it." "{\cHFFFFFF}So that's all good.{\cH00FF00} But how do {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} feel about that?" "{\cHFFFFFF} That's great." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You don't feel you've been {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} dumped in the...?" "{\cHFFFFFF} No." "{\cHFFFFFF}and I'm not going to say it.{\cH00FF00} OK." "particularly {\cHFFFFFF}after this weekend." "it's all good." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} So what happened at the weekend?" "do we?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Well...{\cHFFFFFF} I'm not sure what there is {\cHFFFFFF}to say about a 48-hour stony silence." "leave it!" "go on." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Where's it gone?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Tony Ward is no stranger {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} either to controversy or to cameras." "that's very real." "it may be {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} a BBC London News team. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} which has since gone on {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to achieve near cult status {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} amongst those who saw it." "for fuck's sake." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Ward had a spell in Hollywood" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} where he made almost two other films {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} in the 1980s before eventually {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} returning to London" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but highly personal marriages." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} His house has overlooked {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Greenwich Park ever since" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and last year he became sole founder {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} of the Greenwich Anti-Equine League." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The horse lobby are a bunch {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} of fucking tossers... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} he feels he has become trapped {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} between various bureaucratic bodies" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} which are disinclined {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to listen to the voice {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} of the ordinary individual." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} In these circumstances {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} he feels his campaign of action" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} is not only a reasonable {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but an appropriate response." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} See how the fuck they like that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right." "I used to {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} rather like this fucking country." "I may have made {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} a contribution to shaking it up {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} in my own small way.{\cH00FF00} Right." "I'll grant you that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right." "Yes.{\cHFFFF00} The thing is... in what way exactly?" "through my work." "of course." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} But that's only because I love it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's like beating your wife.{\cH00FF00} Right. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} but there's a kind of honesty {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} in that moment that people really {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} don't like to talk about." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} No." "Right.{\cHFFFF00} This isn't a local issue." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's not about me." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} This is a symptom of a much wider {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} malaise in this country." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right.{\cHFFFF00} I mean they've managed {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} to fuck up just about {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} everything else." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} That patch of ground out there is {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} just about the only thing" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} that keeps me fucking sane {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} in this world. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and for Ian there's a first sighting {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} of his new adversary." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} What you've got to imagine is {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} 200 heavy-thighed competitors" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} camping around in tights {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and leather boots with whips. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} trampling the grass into porridge {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and crapping at will" "000 pubescent girls from {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} second-rate public schools in Surrey" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} with dreadful aspirational mothers {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} arriving every day to watch it all." "this is one protest" "{\cHFFFFFF}that the Olympic authorities aren't {\cHFFFFFF}going to enjoy sweeping under the... {\cHFFFFFF}seems like a reasonable man." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Yes.{\cHFFFFFF} Good to see the whites {\cHFFFFFF}of his eyes anyway.{\cHFFFF00} Yes.{\cHFFFFFF} Right." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but Ian knows he's going to {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} have to go home at some point." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Nice dog." "aren't they?" "good point." "are you?" "probably.{\cHFFFFFF} Right." "just got a bit to do." "ridiculous." "see you tomorrow then." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Yes." "Bye." "Not a problem. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} there's good news and bad news {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} in the horse manure department." "in case you're wondering." "{\cHFFFFFF}Probably not." "I left my keys in the {\cHFFFFFF}house last night." "So I can't get in." "Tony Ward's {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} campaign of protest became {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} more personal" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} when the latest special delivery {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} was deposited outside {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Ian's own front door." "{\cHFFFFFF}.." "A vague smell of horse shit {\cHFFFFFF}following me around and I've tracked {\cHFFFFFF}it down to my trousers." "{\cHFFFFFF}So I need to get some fresh clothes {\cHFFFFFF}and stuff." "OK?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Right." "I'm going to turn my mobile {\cHFFFFFF}off so you can leave a message." "{\cHFFFFFF}Or email me or something." "OK?" "Right." "{\cHFFFFFF}I suppose it's partly my fault." "{\cHFFFFFF}It all got a bit out of shape {\cHFFFFFF}for a while last night." "she'd had a bit of a shock." "{\cHFFFFFF}No-one likes to arrive home to find {\cHFFFFFF}some guys from the antiterrorist unit" "{\cHFFFFFF}pushing a big pile of shit {\cHFFFFFF}around on your doorstep." "apparently." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right." "Eileen {\cHFFFFFF}from next door got into a state {\cHFFFFFF}about it." "right." "{\cHFFFFFF}just you know... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Yes.{\cHFFFFFF} And I left my keys behind." "{\cHFFFFFF}In retrospect {\cHFFFFFF}that was a very basic error." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} So how did you get back in?" "that's...{\cHFFFFFF} So yeah." "at least... {\cHFFFFFF}But how can I put this?" "{\cHFFFFFF}It's an enclosed space {\cHFFFFFF}in which to discover" "{\cHFFFFFF}you've managed to get horse shit {\cHFFFFFF}on your trousers somehow." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Ian's wife Laura is a busy lawyer {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} in her own right." "but she was clear {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} that she didn't want" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} any of her personal details to be {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} identified either psychologically {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} or legally." "other {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} members of the Deliverance Team" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} are working hard to prepare {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} for the Greenwich Park decision." "so..." "OK? {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} so we know exactly where they are." "that's good." "But we already {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} know where the trees are.{\cHFFFF00} Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} it's not a secret." "but still." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} is in a meeting with Nigel Fox" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'from the London Wildlife {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Stag Beetle Outreach Project.' {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} they live in stumps." "then?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} OK." "Right." "Excuse me... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'Kay's hope is that she can {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} convince him of the ODC's commitment" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'to the preservation {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} of the park's delicate ecosystem.' {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} listed as a priority for the UK And {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} London Biodiversity Action Plan..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} it means bugger-all." "so here's one." "Here's a stump." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right.{\cHFFFF00} There's another one here... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and here." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Yeah." "Those are wastepaper bins. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} we're absolutely committed to that." "fine." "{\cHFFFFFF}So I'd need to be there by 7.30?" "{\cHFFFFFF}OK." "thanks." "{\cHFFFFFF}And it'll be live?" "that's fine." "that's all good." "OK." "{\cHFFFFFF}So I guess... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'Ian has had a call from the BBC" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'inviting him to take part in {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} a discussion with Tony Ward" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'on tomorrow morning's Radio Four {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Today Programme.' fantastic." "{\cHFFFFFF}See you tomorrow." "{\cHFFFFFF}Bye." "{\cHFFFFFF}Wow!" "{\cHFFFF00} I don't know if {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} you actually like kiwi fruit." "I do.{\cHFFFF00} It's full of vitamin C." "{\cHFFFFFF}Yes." "this is fantastic." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's not a problem." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} 'I've seen those proposals.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} The reason why there's no stumps {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} on your plans is - {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} nobody's talking about this " "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} but those proposals involve quietly {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} removing five of the seven remaining {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} tree stumps in the park.{\cHFFFF00} Five?" "{\cH00FF00} Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} obviously..." "Kay and Nigel Fox are {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} getting down to the nitty-gritty.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} five is a very high number." "Nigel." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} It's been bloody." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I am fighting the same battles {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} in this organisation every day." "isn't it?" "that's the thing about {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} sustainability.{\cH00FF00} It's all very well {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} these T-shirt animals... fine." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} But somebody's got to stand up.{\cHFFFF00} Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You spend two to three years inside {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} the same damp tree stump {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} even before you become a pupa.{\cHFFFF00} Yes." "inside the pupal case.{\cHFFFF00} Right. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} some JCB comes along {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} and flattens the whole bloody lot." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I'm going to do something {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} about this." "{\cHFFFFFF}".." "It's unfortunate if there is {\cHFFFFFF}the odd isolated individual" "{\cHFFFFFF}"who may not have come on that {\cHFFFFFF}journey with us." "{\cHFFFFFF}What the fuck does that mean? {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'Tony Ward has already started {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} making preparations" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'for tomorrow morning's {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} radio debate.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} This salad dressing" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} is the only thing {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} my third wife did for me." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Really? {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} tablespoon of honey." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Seven years of fucking marriage {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} for that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right." "Good." "So how are you going {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} to prepare for the debate tomorrow?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's not even as if {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I like salad that much." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} But my doctor's {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} some kind of fucking Nazi.{\cH00FF00} Right." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} So how...{\cHFFFF00} You go in and they've {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} got their finger up your fucking {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} bum." "They love all that.{\cH00FF00} Good." "OK." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Let me tell you tell something." "right..." "Um... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} people used to bleat on {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} about fucking storyboarding" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and narrative beats." "fuck that.{\cH00FF00} Right. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and then we'd do it my way anyway." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} And that's the way it was." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} That's what you see on the screen." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right. not after it." "mate.{\cHFFFFFF} it's me." "{\cHFFFFFF}I left you a message earlier." "{\cHFFFFFF}It's half-past six." "{\cHFFFFFF}I need a shower." "OK?" "{\cHFFFFFF}So...give me a call." "OK?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} unless we control it {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} we're out of control. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'it's been a full day already. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'confident that she can {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} make it even fuller." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'Her idea is that {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} she should chair a workshop" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'in which members of {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the Deliverance Team" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'prepare Ian fully for tomorrow {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} morning's live radio debate." "Graham Hitchens.' {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} is there a funny smell in here {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} or is that just me?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} I thought that.{\cHFFFF00} Did you?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I didn't want to say anything... and we're counting down. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} one thing they're going to say is" "000 people OK?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} They're going to say that's going {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} to be a total disaster.{\cH00FF00} Sure." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} OK?" "They're going to say..." "I don't know..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} They're going to say you know." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Hundreds of horses breaking loose {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and trampling women {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and children to death..." "Graham." "{\cHFFFFFF}I think I've got the picture." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} That's the first thing they'll say." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} OK." "Ian.{\cHFFFFFF} OK. {\cHFFFFFF}and the Thames River Service {\cHFFFFFF}to Greenwich Pier." "{\cHFFFFFF}We've worked very closely {\cHFFFFFF}with local community groups to {\cHFFFFFF}devise our Coordinated Movement Plan" "{\cHFFFFFF}which involves the temporary removal {\cHFFFFFF}of the gates at {\cHFFFFFF}the Vista Park entrance" "{\cHFFFFFF}and dedicated one-way entrance {\cHFFFFFF}and exit points at St Mary's Gate" "{\cHFFFFFF}and Circus Gate respectively." "that's fine." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The other thing they're going to {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} go on about is toiletage." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Whoa.{\cHFFFF00} They are obsessed with that." "we've got a schedule here." "it's OK." "guys." "Time out." "Back in five." "{\cHFFFFFF}That's me missing {\cHFFFFFF}Britain's Got Talent." "Thank you." "I just listened." "there's finally {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} been a message from Ian's wife.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} She doesn't care {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} where your keys are.{\cHFFFFFF} Right. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'she's gone to stay {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} at a friend's house.'" "can't bear to be {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} anywhere near you." "OK." "I didn't write down {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} the other things.{\cHFFFFFF} Right." "Sally...{\cHFFFF00} Yes.{\cHFFFFFF} Could I just..." "I don't think I can {\cHFFFFFF}really go on the Today Programme {\cHFFFFFF}smelling of horse shit." "{\cHFFFFFF}I need you to get me {\cHFFFFFF}some new trousers." "but I think Selfridges {\cHFFFFFF}sometimes stays open till ten." "I checked." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} not a problem." "It's fine." "yes. {\cHFFFFFF}then just ask them to get {\cHFFFFFF}the trousers that go with that." "of course." "absolutely. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} not a problem." "Not a problem." "we've done {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} a survey of every single tree {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} in the park.{\cHFFFFFF} That sounds good." "it's all fine." "it lives in tree stumps." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} It's like being on Springwatch." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It feeds on dead wood." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} I think I know how it feels." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I'll have that.{\cHFFFF00} This is actually {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} pretty serious.{\cH00FF00} No wonder {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Bill Oddie's a manic depressive." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'Siobhan has decided that {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Ian and his team are happy to work {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} late into the night if necessary.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} we're really exposed here." "Kay." "{\cHFFFFFF}we're definitely vulnerable.{\cHFFFF00} Legacy?" "{\cHFFFFFF} {\cHFFFFFF}then we just take it all away {\cHFFFFFF}again.{\cHFFFF00} OK.{\cHFFFFFF} There is no legacy." "I'm sorry." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Totally different.{\cHFFFFFF} It's late {\cHFFFFFF}and I just..." "I know they are." "{\cHFFFFFF}Sustainability is obviously {\cHFFFFFF}the issue here." "as usual." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I really think the stag beetle where are we with this?" "{\cHFFFFFF}We want to remove half the existing {\cHFFFFFF}tree stumps in the park?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's more than that." "it's...{\cHFFFFFF} That's..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's seven tenths..." "Graham." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} a touchscreen - {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} best of both worlds. {\cHFFFFFF}it's quite hard to see what's what.{\cH00FFFF} {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You're telling me!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I can't make head nor tail of it." "I've had three." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} There are some trees we may have {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} to lose.{\cHFFFFFF} OK." "How many?" "{\cHFFFF00} {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I don't know." "Ten or something." "obviously.{\cHFFFFFF} OK." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} but at least we'll be replanting." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} But you can't replant a stump." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} But if...{\cHFFFF00} It's absolutely typical." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Welcome to my world." "{\cHFFFFFF}So let's say we're cutting down {\cHFFFFFF}ten existing trees." "Why can't {\cHFFFFFF}that be ten new tree stumps?" "{\cHFFFF00} What?" "well... our... after the Games" "{\cHFFFFFF}there'll be more tree stumps {\cHFFFFFF}in the park than there are now." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Yay!" "Go Beetle!" "that's a 58.3% increase." "obviously." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Have you got a fast-forward {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} on that thing?" "{\cHFFFFFF} OK." "{\cHFFFFFF}It's half-past ten." "{\cHFFFFFF}I think we've probably... guys." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Good job." "I think we're done." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The Legacy lot will get {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} their hands on this." "You just wait." "great." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Can I have your dough balls?" "I couldn't get down {\cHFFFFFF}to Dad's at the weekend...' {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'but Ian has still found time {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to phone his sister.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}you're probably in bed already." "{\cHFFFFFF}But is there any chance of me {\cHFFFFFF}crashing at your place tonight?" "if you're asleep... hi.{\cHFFFFFF} You're still here." "anyway." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} You got the stuff!" "that's perfect." "Sally.{\cHFFFF00} Not a problem." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I had them taken up. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} but I pointed out {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} they had a sign up saying {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} "Free Alteration Service."{\cHFFFFFF} Right." "really... {\cHFFFFFF}it's great." "And...a razor." "no." "{\cHFFFFFF}Aftershave balm with soothing {\cHFFFFFF}aloe vera and healing tea tree oil." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I don't know if you like {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} tea tree oil.{\cHFFFFFF} This is too much." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} A lot of people don't.{\cHFFFFFF} What's this?" "I can just take it {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} all back." "It's not a problem." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} This computer is so slow... {\cHFFFFFF}Socks?" "but they haven't." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} This is the wrong entrance?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} There's a wrong entrance {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and a right entrance?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and Tony Ward's arrival at the BBC" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'has got off to a false start.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Typical fucking BBC." "Perfectly good {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} fucking entrance where everybody {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} used to come in and out." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Then they build another {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} fucking entrance 300 yards up {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} the fucking road." "Bunch of{\cHFFFFFF} BLEEP." "isn't it?" "{\cH00FF00} Uh... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} We're going towards {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} the fucking car park.{\cH00FF00} Right." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Fucking hell.{\cH00FF00} Right." "they're {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} also going to be looking at you... is there early.' right?" "Siobhan." "but here's the thing {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} about radio." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Radio's a totally visual medium." "I know that.{\cH00FF00} Why do you think {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} they got webcams in there?" "{\cHFFFFFF} What?" "here we are.{\cHFFFF00} Right." "we haven't.{\cHFFFFFF} Hi." "that's enough." "Tony Ward has finally {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} made it into the building.' sure." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I'll have a latte with {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} as much caffeine as you can {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} physically ram into it." "forget it." "or maybe..." "OK?" "Fuck it." "right." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} so I'll see what the latest is." "do that.{\cHFFFFFF} Thanks." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Right." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Yesssss. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'Ian and Tony's slot has been {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} put back in the running order." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'All they can do now is wait.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} 'I've got nothing to say to him.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I'm going to say on air.{\cH00FF00} Right." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Him and his bit of media skirt.{\cH00FF00} Do {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} you know what you're going to say?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} They're in for a surprise.{\cH00FF00} Right." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I'm going to be Mr Reasonable." "that probably will be...{\cHFFFF00} Can {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} you take this?" "I don't want it.{\cH00FF00} OK." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's unspeakable.{\cH00FF00} Right. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I'm going to be rational." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} And I'm just going to let the guy {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} reveal himself" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} as the useless{\cHFFFFFF} BLEEP{\cHFFFF00} that he is." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right." "I'm feeling pretty good." "{\cHFFFFFF}It's surprising what {\cHFFFFFF}not smelling of horse shit {\cHFFFFFF}does for your confidence. {\cHFFFFFF}the greater the chances of him just {\cHFFFFFF}overheating and blowing a circuit." "{\cHFFFFFF}The other good thing is that Siobhan {\cHFFFFFF}thinks I'm still in the toilet." "{\cHFFFFFF}It's all looking very good." "not at all." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} The running order's gone {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} because of the mudslide." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} since you're here." "fuck." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but it might be worth thinking {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} of one or two key things... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} (Stag beetle.){\cHFFFFFF} What?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} One or two key points to make..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} (Stag Beetle.)" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} if you want to follow me.{\cH00FF00} Cool." "I'm afraid." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} OK." "I'm sure that could work." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} I'm cool with that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the moment has arrived.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} ahead of that planning decision. who's {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Head of Deliverance at the ODC." "I'm afraid." "what exactly do you {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} hope to achieve in this campaign?" "James." "These people {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} are a bunch of chinless Stalinists." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} That's no controversy... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} We'll have to put that straight to {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Ian Fletcher." "Chinless Stalinist?" "I'm afraid." "I'm very sorry {\cHFFFFFF}that Tony feels that way." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} we'll have to leave it there." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} We will return to this again {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} before 2012." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Our editors today were {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Ollie Stone-Lee and Alexis Condon." "good morning." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} Good morning... {\cHFFFFFF}OFF-AIR SIGNAL BEEPS" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Waste of fucking time." "Typical Radio {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Four." "It's all plays about women {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} having problems with refrigerators. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'Tony has been genuinely surprised {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} by the speed at which live radio {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} can sometimes move.' {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} 'there's a surprise {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} waiting for him.'" "did you hear it?" "yeah." "I heard it." "{\cHFFFFFF}Right." "So what did you think?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} There's someone here to see you." "{\cHFFFFFF}What?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Jesus." "Right." "OK." "{\cHFFFFFF}Fuck.{\cHFFFF00} I offered her tea.{\cHFFFFFF} Uh...{\cHFFFF00} {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} But she said she didn't {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} want anything - or coffee." "God." "she's coming out.{\cHFFFF00} Shall I?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} has decided to drop by.' you stay right where you are." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} OK.{\cHFFFFFF} Hi." "hello. and I will win." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Right.{\cHFFFFFF} Laura!" "uh... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Would you like a...{\cH00FFFF} {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You stay exactly where you are." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Not a problem.{\cHFFFFFF} Laura... shall we... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} I think legally you can't..." "{\cHFFFFFF}Where was I?" "You locked me out.{\cH00FFFF} {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Where did you get that tie from?" "let's just {\cHFFFFFF}go somewhere and talk." "I AM talking." "leave that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} just leave it!" "{\cHFFFF00} Not a problem.{\cHFFFFFF} really...{\cHFFFFFF} I'm not having it." "shut up.{\cHFFFF00} OK." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Where did you spend last night?" "{\cHFFFFFF} I {\cHFFFFFF}don't see why I should answer that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Were you with her?" "{\cHFFFFFF}This is pointless and embarrassing." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I take your failure to answer {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} as a yes." "good.{\cHFFFF00} Actually can I... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I'd like to say something.{\cHFFFFFF} No!" "nothing.{\cH00FFFF} Is it still on?" "{\cH00FF00} No." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I sit here every day.{\cHFFFFFF} Sally!" "{\cH00FFFF} There's {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} still a light on.{\cH00FF00} That's just the..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} It's still on!" "{\cH00FF00} It just does that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} but all my life..." "{\cHFFFFFF}# There may be trouble ahead" "{\cHFFFFFF}# But while there's {\cHFFFFFF}moonlight and music" "{\cHFFFFFF}# And love and romance" "{\cHFFFFFF}# Let's face the music and dance" "{\cHFFFFFF}# There may be teardrops to shed" "{\cHFFFFFF}# So while there's {\cHFFFFFF}moonlight and music" "{\cHFFFFFF}# And love and romance" "{\cHFFFFFF}# Let's face the music and dance" "{\cHFFFFFF}# Let's face the music" "{\cHFFFFFF}# And dance. #" "{\cHFFFFFF}Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd"