"I got them when I was 15 and then, like, 19." "And then other times, but I never got it on my arms, and I haven't even been putting them near nobody's cha cha." "Except for, like, once, and it was a while ago and by accident." "You don't get crabs on your arms." "So what?" "I got imitation crabs?" "Shit!" "It's fucking bedbugs." "Like scabies?" "I thought it was crabs." "Me too." "I miss Ian." "Aww, that's so sweet." "You got some shampoo or something?" "They don't live on you." "Just in your sheets and clothes and shit." "So now we got to wash everything." "What, you gave them to me?" "Someone gave it to me first!" " Fuck." " What's going on?" "Flaca's got scabies." "It's bedbugs." "It's different." "Cooties are cooties." "I probably got it from your dirty little sister." "They probably been living in your hairy Chia Pet poon since before you got here." "First of all, I keep my lawn mowed." "Second, weren't no problems till pocket Daya snuck in last week to follow in the family footsteps." " Eat it." " Hey." " They got scabies." " Bedbugs." "And it's Flaca." "Now what?" "Ay, Dios." "We're all gonna get them." "You don't have a magic cure or something?" "Hey, hey, hey." "I just walked up." "No." "So what?" "You hear the one about the pregnant bedbug?" "She gave birth in the spring." "But these are just pads." "We don't got bed springs." "Oh, Jesus." "Okay, everybody." "Start stripping the beds!" "Fuck." "Red, you're back!" "And you're not talking to me." "Now What did I do?" "My post-slock resolution was to stop giving liars second chances." "When did I lie to you?" ""Business is booming." "There's a line out the door."" "You were much more convincing than my husband, but you were just as stupid." "You could have said you didn't make your way there." "Instead, you said you ate my vatrushkis." "I'm sorry." "I..." "I thought that I was doing the right thing." "By lying?" "We read different children's books." "You know, many cultures value a person's dignity over the truth." "In Korea, they actually call it kibun." "I heard that on The World with Marco Werman." "In Russia, we call it bullshit." "Look, there was nothing you could do about it, and I thought that I was saving you some pain." "You thought if you didn't bring me bad news," "I won't kill the messenger." "I said what I said because I am a nice person and it felt right." "Nice is for cowards and Democrats." "You're a selfish little person." "You wanted me to like you." "Now I like you less." "Next." "Powell." "P-o-w-e-double "I."" "Ah, here you are." "ID?" "Oh, Bennett." "Good." "You're George's friend." " Uh, George?" " My son." "He used to work here." "George Mendez." "His father, my first husband, is Cuban." "I never could resist an accent." "Guess that runs in the family." "I'm sorry." "That was a coping mechanism." "Uh..." "Thank you." "George, urn..." "George says he loves her." "What do you think?" "I..." "I don't know." "M-maybe." "Uh, I'm sorry." "Who are you here to see?" "I know I need to apologize, but "I'm sorry" feels a little inadequate." "That baby's got my daughter out to here, and it's too late to Dyson it out of her." "So I hope you're here for more than a clean conscience." "I'm a concerned grandmother, just like you are, although you look nothing like a grandmother." "Hispanic women have amazing skin." "I just hope the baby gets my complexion." "What's it getting from you?" "I know that nothing can ever undo what my son did, but this child is part of my family." "He's gonna live with my family." "Your... husband?" "My domestic partner." "Who's not actually related to the baby by blood." "No blood." "But he's got the sweat and tears part down." "He's taking real good care of my babies, and he'll do the same for Daya." "I want to adopt the child." "I'm up nights, haunted." "I can't bear the thought of the baby winding up like" "Go ahead." "Say it." "Like her mother?" "Like George." "So... you want to raise the baby so it don't turn out like the baby you raised?" "I have two other boys." "One is in dental school, and the other is an art historian." "So you raised a sadist, a dentist, and a homo." "Two sadists and a homo." "Okay, look." "You have every right to hate me, and George, but I can do right by this child." "I can offer love and attention and a certain lifestyle." "Money don't mean nothing to a child." " No." "But I" " You're not listening." "To a child." "But my daughter can't be un-raped." "And she's gonna suffer bad emotionals her whole life." " We all are." " Well..." "I know money could never make that right, but, of course, I would want to help the mother of my grandchild in any way I could." "Perhaps on a monthly basis." "And the grandmother of your grandchild?" " Of course." " That's the team spirit." "Hey." "Lady guards only." "Your mom is in visitation right now with Mendez's mother." " The fuck?" " Did you know she was coming?" " What are they talking about?" " I don't know." "Lady Pornstache wrote me a letter." "She wanted to meet." "But I said no." "I mean, I didn't say nothing, which means I said no." "Aleida must've written her." "Relax." "It's my baby." "Ours." "Aleida's just probably trying to shake her down." "Everything's gonna be fine." "I don't usually get to see this much of you all at once." "You like it?" "You're into big bellies?" "Listen up, ladies." "Until every uniform in this prison is washed and re-washed, you will be wearing Office Depot's new fall line." "You got to be kidding." "I ain't wearing that fucking paper shit." "That's my color." "I'm wearing it." "There is one maternity-sized paper suit." "I suggest you grab it before one of your plus-sized dorm mates claims it for her food baby." "I asked you more than once to stay away from her, and yet, with the whole dorm half naked, here you are." "I'm writing you up, Bennett." "Mendez's mother is meeting with Aleida Diaz." "I don't care." "And neither should you." "That's my kid we're talking about here." "This is not Three Men and a Baby." "You and Mendez are not Guttenberg and Selleck." "You are two morons and a ward of the state." "Let go." "Let go of the dream." "Mr. Caputo." "One box per dorm." "That's all there was." "I can't walk around in my butt-bag panties and my granny bra." "There are more paper uniforms on their way." "And they'll get here when?" "S... sometime soon." "Hopefully." "Uh, be thankful the weather is nice." "C.O. Bennett, make yourself useful." " Sir." " Go down to the storage room." "Don't come back until you find some uniforms or something uniform-like and disposable." "Sir, yes, sir." "Where's the S-1?" "Corporal John Bennett reporting as ordered, sergeant." "Care to let me in on the joke, corporal whoever-the-fuck-you-are?" "No disrespect, sergeant." "Just ready to get in the shit." "Well, look at that, goggles." "Corporal America is here to save us from the rag heads." "Hooah!" "L.A., fall in!" "Rifle." "You know, it's always the guy who thinks he's John Wayne McCain who shits his pants and needs rescuing." "But out here, we prefer to let the camel cowboys do the dying." "It's their goddamn country." "Look at you." "All nicely starched." "I have a travel iron." "I smell a fobbit." "You know what a fobbit is?" " I'm not" " Not what I asked!" "Army hobbit." "Too chicken to leave his forward operating base." "You think this shit bag's a fobbit?" "Maybe." "Don't know him." "But he's got the whitest teeth I've ever seen." "Sergeant!" "I am not a coward, and I am sure as shit not sorry I'm squared away!" "I'm here to soldier, save lives, and get some!" "Jesus, what a cluster-knuckle." "Could this be our fault?" "The new couch." "I did an inspection at the curb." "We're okay, except for the mystery stain, but we Febrezed." "If anybody asks anything, it came from JC Penney." "Bell, Hartford jail's got six boxes of paper suits they're willing to part with." "Cost me 300 pairs of tube socks I actually don't have, but that's a future "me" problem." "Have Doggett drive you and Maxwell after lunch." "Roger that." "Looks like it's spreading." "The only thing spreading is rumors." "It was an isolated event that's been isolated." "I forgot something in the office." "Unh-unh." "Walk." "That's right." "Just walk away, Renee." "Where'd you..." "You smell like Arthur Avenue." "Whatever, okay?" "GloNo is making me bedbug-proof." " GloNo?" " Gloria and Norma." "Oh, hell no." "Hey, look, whatever you want to call them, they for real." "All right?" "Especially Norma." "She got that whole magic mute thing going on." "Look, and this makes sense, okay?" "Bedbugs drink our blood." "They bugs, not Dracula." "And now that you been necklace shopping in Burritoville, you getting them for sure." "Man, why are they still making our food when they're the infested ones?" "Oh, shit." "No, man." "Protein." "Crunch." "It's all good." "Hey, you're scratching." "It ain't real, man." "It's a ghost itch." "Mm." "Power of persuasion." "Power of you ain't taken a shower in three days." "That might be why you're scratching." "What you care?" "Poor personal hygiene can be a sign of depression." "Depre-- man, I ain't depressed!" "The line's been long in the shower since it started getting hot." "But I been washing my pits, tits, and naughty bits in the sink." "Well, thank you for that." "Look, you don't want to be forced to take a shower like Asia girl." "Don't get so ripe you go rotten." "All I'm saying." "Okay." "Maybe you got a point." "But it ain't bugs." "Man, come on, man." "Unh-unh!" "Forrest Gump." "Seat's taken." "Yeah." "Black kids only." "What?" "I got just as much of a right to this seat as you do." "I mean, this place is full today." " You discriminating me." " Yes." "Rosa Parks could walk through that door, but she got bedbugs, bitch, her ass going to the back of the bus, same as you." "Who's gonna stop me, though?" "Now that your big-haired mammy's in hell taking Satan's three-pronged penis up her butt." "Aah!" " No!" " Warren!" "Chill out." "Do I need to write you a shot?" "No,no,no,no,no." "She's good." "She just had a little too much spicy." "That's all." "Give me the potato." "Now." "Give me the potato." "Got you." "You good." "Yes." "Sit down." "We good, Suzanne." "We good." " We good, Officer Bell." " We good." "We..." "I will potato her at a future time." "I know." "Get your lunch to go, Doggett." "We got van duty." "Bitch, bye." "You not hungry?" "I'm not standing in that parade of tits and ass." "You secretly love this." "Some things are better left mysteries." "Do you want to borrow my, uh, paper bottoms?" "Because I could rip them off and just give them to you." "Come on." "Give mama a smile." "Do you remember what Kubra used to say?" "Unh-unh." ""A smile is like tight underwear."" ""lt lifts your cheeks."" "He's gonna kill me, you know." "Alex." "I really thought they would put him away." "And I'd be out." "I'm fucking suffocating." "Alex, you will survive." "Because it's what you do." "Yeah." "Like a cockroach." "Maybe that's your spirit animal." "I know that you're trying to make me feel better, but really think about what you just said to me." "You know, they really get a bad rap." "They were the first animals to ever mate in space." "They live in tight colonies because they just love being touched." "And they can carry cigarettes." "They're bad bitches." "I... can't be here right now." "I mean, seriously, what the fuck is going on?" "Man, it's like six early releases this month." "Yeah." "Bullshit sentences for minor drug crimes just aren't enforced like they used to be." "Speaking of minor drug crimes..." "Our smack scheme is no minor offense." "Really?" "You couldn't come up with a code word or something like that?" "Fine." "Getting caught with that many jujubes will get our candy asses kicked down to max for a decade." "No, we have come too close for you to puss out on me now." "I will smother you in your sleep." "Red concreted our shipping route." "All the coke kitties are getting out." "Maybe, like, the universe is just trying to send us a message." "Bitch, please." "All those girls had no time left on their sentences." "That just ain't you or me, huh?" "We need the right oompa loompa to smuggle our sweets out of here." "You know, now you're just abusing the metaphor." "This is the last of it." "And if you ask me, this oatmeal should be for breakfast, not voodoo." "It's not abracadabra." "It's nature's anti-itch cream." "It's medicine." "So, why you making it and not the infirmary?" "Good fucking question." "Fuck." "Inmate, there have been complaints about moldy rice." "I need you to show me where you store it." "Fuck is this?" "An intervention?" "What were you doing talking to Mendez's mother?" "We're mutually concerned grandparents." "She's not the grandmother." " She might be." " What is that supposed to mean?" "That's for me and my daughter to talk about." " He's part of this." " Yeah, I am." "Yeah?" "Okay." "Fine." "She wants to adopt the baby." " What?" "!" " Shh!" "Your job right now is to listen." "To what?" "The only thing worse than Mendez raising that baby is his mother doing it." "That's what I said." "But it turns out she got two other kids." "One's a tooth doctor, the other's an artist, and they turned out real good." "I'm not giving up my baby to nobody." "That's also what I said." "But then she made some real good points." " Nothing" " Shh!" "Daya, you got 37 months left on your sentence." "He can't do nothing or he'll go to jail, too." "Abuela's too old, and Cesar's guaranteed to fuck up." "You remember your year in foster care?" "You want that for the baby?" " That's not gonna happen." " Shh!" "Let her finish." "You're not actually considering this, are you?" "Aren't you?" "I'm not saying yes." "It just kind of makes sense." "Except for the part where the woman who raised a drug-dealing rapist named Pornstache adopts our child." "Have you ever even held a baby?" "Changed a diaper?" "You want to make that kid live in a shit hole with five other people?" "He could have his own bedroom." "Did you ever spend the night in a room by yourself?" "That baby could have a real life with money and clean towels and shit." "Look, Daya and I are happy." "Okay, you don't need towels for that." "Right?" "God damn it, Farzad." "Look, it's only funny because the dudes are dancing, not her." " Understand?" " No." "Jesus." "Can somebody please get me a better Muslim over here?" "Let's try this again in five, ladies." "Don't sweat it, man." "This is just how Americans like to waste time." "Bad work?" "You were bad at being stupid." "That is a good thing." "You did good." "You did good." "What's wrong with them?" "Them, uh..." "you all, uh, boy-kiss-boy." "Yeah, I see that." "Ugh, it's like ironic divine retribution." "We're stuck in our own spin cycle." "This paper suit keeps sticking to my sweaty parts." "Once when my mother forgot to buy me a Halloween costume, she taped a bunch of old newspapers to me and said I should tell people I was a newsstand." "You know what we need?" "Bean leaves." "I got bedbugs at a sit-in for a Portland homeless shelter." "The conditions were appalling, so we used bean leaves to trap the bedbugs and get rid of them." "I didn't know beans grew on leaves." "Oh, yeah, take it off." "Ooh." "Excuse me, Mr. Luschek." "We would like to make a formal petition for some bean leaves." "And maybe some extra washers." "People or machines, either one." "But really bean leaves." "If you say "bean leaves" one more time," "I'm gonna punch you in the fuck hole." "One of the fuck holes." "How about some fans instead?" "At least two of them work." "All yours." "Aye, aye, captain." "Yeah, I wouldn't want to see you strain your ass, you know, sitting on that table." "I could probably think of a witty comeback if it wasn't so hot in here." "Or I cared." "Hey, I hope you're not down here for any of that girl faggot shit." "Oh, when you talk dirty to me like that..." "I know you've been sniffing around Angie's tree." "And you should know the only soggy box that interests me is mine, and all that goes in it are dicks and tampons." "And sometimes other things, but only guys can put those in." "Noted." "Although, when you call it your soggy box, you know, it makes it really hard to resist." "Hey, how come all the guards get to wear real clothes?" "We're exempt." "Do the bedbugs know that?" "You wash our uniforms every day." "Shit!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Luschek!" "It's like undressing in front of my dog." "I need you to wash these right now." "Oh, wait!" "Wait, wait, wait!" "Sleepy-time tea." "Little spray here Little spray there" "Ooh, little spray in my underwear" "Makes the buggies back off" "Ooh, makes the buggies piss off" "Make the buggies back way the fuck-- tssh!" "tssh!" "Way the fuck off" "Mmmmmm." "This is like the Titanic of bad ideas." "Like we're steering out the way of bedbugs and crashing into an iceberg of chemical burns and shit." "Please, my grammy used to douche with disinfectant." "The trick is to imagine the bugs being bugged by you." "You can't give away your power." "Like you almost did at lunch?" "Look, you can't be getting all crazy every time that somebody talks about Vee." "But did you hear that slattern?" "Look, that business about a tri-penis." "Unacceptable." "That warrants a severe response." "Man, you fuck up an ofay with a spork, you angry enough." "Vee would've defended me if vice were versa." "Okay, even if that was true, which it definitely is not, you one shot away from being a puddle of black drool in psych." "You need to check yourself." "Back off." "Did you mean..." " ...to spray that on your skin?" " Yes." "Because in general, when a bottle reads" ""caution" and "warning,"" "it might not be the best idea." "Man, see, I knew this was a bad idea you telling me to clean with your grandma's douche." "Someone's grandma douches with disinfectant?" "Man, this was the pill before there was a pill." "It's cheaper than condoms and make your cooch crack smell like lemon fresh." "For real." "Look that shit up." "I-it couldn't have worked too well because, you know, well, you're here." "Uh, when did our bathroom become gentrified?" "Since the Spanish became patient zero for bedbugs." "This isn't social hour, ladies." "Unless you're working, out." "Everybody out." "I gave you an order, inmate." "W" "I need permission to use the toilet?" "May I relieve myself, teacher?" " Excuse me?" " Alex." " That's a shot." " What?" "There are girls spraying themselves with disinfectant because this prison is swarming with bugs, but pissing is a violation?" "Great." "I'm glad you have your priorities straight." " Where are the fucking fumigators?" " Lower your voice, inmate." "Or are they too worried to kill the bedbugs 'cause they'll kill the cockroaches, too?" "Are you calling me a cockroach?" "It's okay." "They get a bad rap." "Alex." "You're going to seg, inmate." "Alex." "No, no, no, no, no." "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "You know that this isn't her." "She's just back here after having been out." "You want a shot, too, Chapman?" "Will it keep her out of shu?" "Please." "Come on." "Hey, haven't you ever had a bad day?" "Like a..." "really, really bad day?" "Disobeying a staff member, insolence to a staff member." "That's two shots, Vause." "Alex." "How am I back here, Piper?" "How could I let myself get back here?" "Alex, it's not your fault." "And they call me crazy." "Oh, my God." "We will probably never be rich, and we'll most likely live in a place that's not that big, but we'll work hard and we'll love each other, and we'll find so much happiness" "that we won't even know what to do with it." "We'll share it with our kid." "Our kids." "Will you marry me?" "The ring is temporary." "Uh, my leg." "I love you so much." "Still got to be careful." "For now." "Hey, you know, I think you need to be in an enclosed space for that to work." "I'm blasting the heater to kill any bedbugs inside." "Hey, Luschek, uh, let me ask you a question." "You like candy, right?" "Body by Butterfinger." "I'm speaking allegorically here." "You want to talk about Al Gore?" "Oh, Jesus." "Okay." "Hey." "Listen, all right?" "Focus." "Let's say I happen to have a Costco-sized box of candy, right?" "And I fucking love candy, but I can't eat it anymore 'cause, you know, it ruined my life, gave me cavities, and I'm in candy eaters anonymous now, eh?" "So I got to get rid of it, huh?" "Like out of the prison rid of it." "I got a shit ton of heroin I need you to sell." "Are you out of your mind..." " inmate?" " Hey." "You're asking me to sell narcotics." "I'm a federal corrections officer." "All right, let's go." "We're gonna go to Caputo's office." "No!" "You're gonna tell him exactly what you told me." "Every word, even that weird Al Gore thing." "Okay, look, Luschek, you must've misunderstood me, all right?" "I'm fucking with you." "Of course I'll sell it." "Oh, my God." "Jesus." "Man, come on." "You know I got a bad heart." "You can't do that shit to me, man." "I want, uh, 80 percent." "Of the drugs or the money?" "You're not to supposed to be back here." "I know, but I got this." "You slept with it?" "Said the Lord's prayer?" " Mm-hmm." " Okay, good." "Evil eye is off of you." "Don't you got to break it or some shit?" "I'll break it in the morning when I cook it." "What?" "You can't feed somebody my problems." "What-- what if I eat it back?" "You as likely to eat somebody's hormone imbalance, cheating husband, or diarrhea." "Listen, if it makes you nervous, skip breakfast." "That ain't right, yo." "I'm" " I'm trying here." "Well, I had to use all the oatmeal on people's itches, which means that more people are eating eggs, which means that your egg gets cooked." "I'm literally garbage." "I think I'm having a nervous breakdown." "Oh, chm up, kibun." "You'll think of the right He." "What was that about?" "I told her that her restaurant was a booming success." "And?" "And it has been shuttered for months." " That's fucked up." " I was trying to be nice." "She was so happy when I lied." "Delusion can be very comforting." "Right?" "The best part of my time here was when I thought somebody else had named me as a co-conspirator." "It was like the universe had just brought us back together." "And then you realized that I was the asshole who named you." "No." "I mean, yes, you did, and that sucked." "But for a while, ignorance was bliss." "Getting all of our shit out on the table, being totally, brutally honest about all the fucked-up things we've done, and then deciding to still like each other, that is an amazing thing." "Resiliency, the human spirit, and all that." "So much better than ignorance." "Seriously." "What?" "What is it, Piper?" "I, um had a friend call..." "Davy Crocket and tell him that you had violated your parole." "You called my probation officer?" "You kept saying that you were in danger." " Bullshit." " And I was just trying to protect you." "That is bullshit, and you know it." "Just more bullshit." "I'm so, so, so, so sorry." "But now, see, all of our shit is just right out on the table, and we can decide to like each other." "You're a fucking psycho!" "And you can stop blaming yourself for being in here." "And start blaming you." "Because that's what I'm supposed to do now, right, so you can keep control over whatever this is." "Control, Alex?" "You were having a nervous breakdown!" "Which wasn't hot for you, was it?" "Depressives are bummer fuck buddies." "Can't have that." "God, you're such a manipulative cunt!" "You're gonna have to burn them." "We're not burning any books." "This is not Nuremburg." "And I'm not that kind of exterminator, but facts is facts." "Am I allowed to interact with them?" "They are people." "Yeah." "Can I see a couple of those?" "Hey, that's Rats of Nimh." "It's like my top five." "I cried like a baby when Jenner died." "You can't burn that." "Man, this broke-ass prison will never replace them." " You can't do this." " Calm down." "We're not replacing any books 'cause we're not losing any." " Isn't that right, Dan?" " Bedbug." "That ain't no bedbug." "That's a muffin crumb." "How you gonna tell the expert what that is?" "Ain't like I'm not an expert in muffins." "The thing about these bastards is once they're in, the only way to get them out is to wipe out their nooks and crannies." "What, you can't just spray some stuff in here, steam the books or something?" "I'm telling you it ain't a bedbug." "What you think, Mr. Caputo?" "You're 100 percent sure?" "Seventy-five percent." "How sure are you that that's a muffin crumb?" "Like 90 percent." "Oh?" "That wins out." "You want to be sure?" "Have at it." "Jefferson." "You did not just..." "I'm down to, like, 50/50." "Shit." "Who are you?" "Uh, sorry." "I'm looking, uh, for Cesar." "Cesar!" " What?" " Some white boy here." "Baby daddy." "Que paso?" "Daya and Aleida okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah, no, great." "I, um..." "You said to stop by sometime, so, uh, here I am." "Also, I..." "I brought this gift for Lucy." "And..." "I proposed to Daya, actually." "No fucking way!" "Get in here!" "Homeboy stepping up to the plate!" "Diablos, este se va a casar!" "Margarita, listen to this!" "How'd you do it?" "Did you get her a ring?" "Uh, I made it, actually, out of, uh, gum wrappers." "Gum was how we met, so..." "Babe." "Babe." "What's up?" "Dinner." "You need to get her a real ring." "Yeah, no." "Definitely." "I just, um, she can't have it in prison, though, 'cause she'll get, you know, shanked for it." "My boss will ask me where she got it, or..." "But..." "I think the gum ring is fine for now." "Hey, who's... who's that?" "I'm a daddy again." "And I know you ain't gonna say shit to Aleida, right?" "Or do I have to bribe you with, like, movies and candies like I do with them?" "How many times I-- look." "Look what you did." "You broke this shit!" "Hi." "You're Lucy, right?" "I'm Lucy." "Oh." "Sorry." "Happy Birthday." "Dayanara asked me to bring you this." "Is it a Barbie?" "I guess you'll have to open it and find out." "No, it's not a Barbie, but I-it's cool." "Dinner, bitches." "That was fast." "Yeah." "Leftovers from Storky's." "Hey, I should, uh, probably get going." "I just wanted to drop off the thing and tell you the good news." "Nice try, homeboy." "You're staying for dinner." "Oh, Mitch." "Good to see you." "Wish it were under better circumstances." "Well, it could be worse." "Fig could still be here." "I really liked her." "The early releases should've saved you enough money to handle the infestation situation without any additional funding." "I made several cost-cutting measures myself, and that includes the new mattresses, which I noticed weren't factored into your budget." "Because they weren't approved." "They were approved." "They have to be." "We're burning them right now, Mitch." "Burning, yes." "Fine." "But we're not going to replace hundreds of mattresses only to get rid of them again in two months." "Why would we get rid of the mattresses in two months?" "No one told you." "Holy shit." "Holy shit." "That's the reason for the early releases?" "I'm sorry." "I don't know how you weren't informed." "The warden must've forgot to ring me in between rounds of golf." "None of this reflects badly on you." "Your name is actually being mentioned quite favorably." "There's a good chance you'll get a transfer." "And everybody else?" "How long do we have?" "The prisoners should all be relocated by the 20th." "They're officially closing the prison the 30th." "Eat your french fries, puto." "I'm not hungry for vegetables." "Hey." "Oh." "Listen to you." "Don't you talk to him that way." "He pays your rent." "That's right." "So you got to listen to what I say because otherwise, there'll be behavioral consequences." "Man, when you put them in the microwave, they get disgusting." "I'm not eating them." "Whoa!" "Hey, now!" "Hey." "Whoa." "Margarita brought you french fries." "You better get fucking hungry real quick!" "Emiliano, do me a favor." "Get the fuck out of my face." "I know I look strict, right?" "But secretly, deep down inside, they're just happy that there's actually an adult in charge." "Sit down." "Sit down." "Eat." "Eat." "Impact target, 30 seconds from flash." "Repeat, impact target is 30 seconds from flash." "Not a bad first combat tour, huh, Bennett'?" "Yeah." "Cleaning porta-johns and dancing like a rent boy while Skynet does all the fun stuff." "Aw, come on, now." "You know the biggest bombs in the whole war get dropped in the porta-john." "Ha-ha." "Yeah." "Maybe I'll get a medal for most excellent shit soldier." "Lock it up." "Eat your motherfucking ice cream." "We're about to deliver some serious freedom through their skulls." "We have target confirmed." "Go to fire." " Oh, shh." " Two... one... kaboom." "Oh!" " Fuck yeah, bro!" " Bomb!" "Have bomb!" "Bomb!" "Bomb!" "Them!" "No!" "No!" "It's not him!" "No!" "Grenade!" "Bennett, pick it up!" "Fuck!" "Yeah." "Come in." "I need to add my lawyer to my visitation list." "You having problems with your case?" "No." "And please take my husband off my list." "Why don't you have a seat, Red?" "I won't be staying, but thank you." "Please." "Sit." "You want to tell me what's going on?" "I married a pillow." "Soft, lumpy, and always lying behind my back." "Words like "always" are absolutes." "And using them is a way to reinforce what we want to believe." "When speaking emotionally, absolutes can be dangerous." "Good advice." "Thank you." "Please add my lawyer and remove my husband." "You know, Red, marriage is a two-way street." "And you can't swim without getting wet." "See?" "I can say clichés, too." "Ha." "You owe it to your younger self to explore those things that made you want to marry this man in the first place." "You may find that they're still there." "I owe my younger self 23 years of wild sex with multiple partners, but I'll settle for my name back." "You made a lifelong commitment." "That's sacred." "You don't know my story, Healy." "And you don't know what he's done." "Hey!" "Language." "I know what that word means, and it's not okay to refer to your husband or any other man that way." "You know, you huff in here like some put-upon martyr, like a smile would break your face, trivializing a man's emotions." "What is that, some kind of a Russian thing or something?" " What the hell does that me" " Hey!" "Language!" "Again." "That's the last time that I'm gonna warn you, Mrs. Reznikov." "You forget where you are?" "Just like you forget that your husband has a stake in this, too?" "Just because he made some mistakes doesn't mean that you can run off and go sleep in your mother's room at the first sign of white caps on the ocean." "That is a bad fucking plan." "It's a great fucking plan." "Drugs in the tool belt." "Tool belt to Luschek." "Luschek to the streets." "Money." "Don't overthink it." "You know, I missed the part where you contribute." "I am the fairy godmother who watches over you to make sure that the plan doesn't go up your cute little nose." "Great." "Finally, I get a mother who gives a shit about me, and it's bibbity-bobbity-big-boo." "Boo." " Huh?" " We got a problem." " Someone stole our candy." " Oh!" "Fuck!" "All right, that's the last of the E dorm mattresses, Mr. Caputo." "No books." "We're gonna try to salvage those." "Are you kidding me?" " Doesn't matter." " What's that?" "Doesn't matter." "So, I'm confused." "They're from that bush in the yard by the greenhouse." "They're not bean leaves, but, uh, they have, like, pods on them, so I thought maybe they" "Are you sleeping?" "You know, you can't actually feel the bites." "Bedbug saliva contains a substance that acts as a mild anesthetic." "It's in your head." "I should sleep without a mattress more often." "It's good for my back." "If you feel like that's the right thing to do, then you should absolutely do it." "Still trying to preserve my kibun?" "I told Alex the truth about something today, and she told me that I was a manipulative..." "She told me I was manipulative." "I lie." "I get in trouble." "I truth." "I get in trouble." "I can't do anything right." "What are you asking for?" "Advice?" "Here's some." "Stop buying into your own horse shit." "You tell me I'm scratching is my imagination?" "Look around." "The prison is crawling." "You can tell everyone they can't feel it all night long, but in the morning, we've all been a bug buffet." "Stop trying to mold the real world into the one inside your pointy blond head." "Maybe I am manipulative." "From what I've seen, to get what you want, while telling everyone how clean you are, you play dirty." "You just described my mother." "She's a kibun ninja." "Or whatever the Korean version of ninja is." "And then the W.A.S.P. version of that." "Awaken your inner Russian." "No more bullshit." "Na zdarovya." "The world is better in black and white." "And red." "That's my favorite Daya story." "What is it?" "What, you bang her and you don't know her quinceanera story?" "She tells that story to everybody." "Aleida got wasted, and she tripped and fell in the birthday cake, and the candles lit her dress on fire." "But you got to hear the way Daya tells it." "I ain't gonna lie, man." "This shit ain't easy." "Yeah." "I'm gonna have to go it alone for a while." "No, no, no." "You get yourself a little side of bacon." "Like Margarita." "That's what women are made for." "That used to be Daya's crib." "And all the other little scrubs, too." "It's nothing fancy, but, uh, it's got a lot of good luck." "Buena suerte." "I want you to have it, man." "What about her?" "We'll get her something else." "It's for Aleida's family." "Salud." "Margarita!" "Yeah." "La nena esta cagada." "Dios mio." "Six months old, but she shits like a human." "Good morning, ladies." "Additional linen uniforms are now available." "If you are small or an extra small, first come, first serve." "You bitch!" "Fuck you, Alex!" "Fuck you!"