"Oh, God." "I can't deal with any more kids poking at me." "At least you get the kids." "I get their dads." "Leches all want me to sit on their laps." "I don't much care for the way Santa is gawking atyou either." "Don't do that." "You're too prettyto smoke." " Next you're gonna tell me it'll stunt my growth." " Be nice, now." "It's Christmas." " What's that smell?" " What do you want?" "It's the back of a mall." "I have a very sensitive nose." "Don't walk." "Why areyou walking?" " Let'sjust sit." " It's coming from overhere." "There's something." "Probably old hot dogs or a dead cat." "No, no, no." "Don't touch." "Let me." "Jail's not too bad." "I get meals with your brother." "We go out on these work details together." "You haven't asked me why I'm strapped in these chains." " Well, you're in jail." " No, I'm in dress rehearsal for A Christmas Carol." " You'reJacob Marley?" " I wanted to be Scrooge... but some triple homicide in Cell Block "H" got the part." "You don't want to know how." "What areyou gonna do for Christmas?" "I'm doing what I always do." "I'm going on a trip." " New York?" " Peru." "National Geographic found a new step pyramid- an ancient ceremonial site known as "El Brujo. "' 1,500-year-old skeletons." "Part of a very mysterious culture called the Moche." " Well, unless they're elves, that's not very Christmasy." " No, they aren't elves." "You know what I'd like?" "I'd like to spend another Christmas with-with kids." "With a family." "With a tree." "You're in jail, Dad." "So is Russ." " Mom's dead." " Yeah." "Yeah." "And Christmas is overrated anyway." "People expect it to be so perfect." "It never is." "I'm really looking forward to the skeletons in El Brujo." "Yeah, but Christmas and skeletons do not go together." "I rememberthe Christmas... you and Mom gave me the toolbox." "That was great." "Yeah, except that the toolbox..." "was for Russ." "But you decided that it was yours and- and he let you have it." " He did?" " Yeah." "I hope someday that, uh, we can all have Christmas together again." " I doubt it, Dad." " Well, lie to me." "I-I can pretend." "I've gotta go look at a dead person." "Well, you neverwere good at sugar-coating anything." "You got that "sad little girl"look onyourface..." " afteryou've been with your dad." " No, I don't." "He wishes we could spend Christmas togetherwith Russ." " Do it." " They're both in jail." "It's impossible." "What are your plans?" "I'm thinkin' about driving the truck right offthe bridge." " I'm being melodramatic and self-pitying." " You love Christmas." "I love it, you know, when I have Parker... but this year he's going skiing in Vermont... with Rebecca and Captain Fantastic." " Who's Captain Fantastic?" " Aw, it's her boyfriend." "Commands a Coast Guard cutter." "His last name isn't literally Fantastic, is it?" "Might as well be." "You know, they have a trailer at the jail." "Mostly for conjugal visits." " Captain Fantastic is in jail?" " No." "Your dad." "You could give him what he wants for Christmas." "Pull a few strings." " I'm not a string puller." " I've seen you pull some strings." " My father is a murderer and a thief." " Well, murderers and thieves" "They get Christmas too." "In fact, that's kind ofthe point." "Well, I have other plans." "Well, whatever they are, skeletons and Christmas do not mix." "That's exactlywhat my father said." " Where are we going?" " Early Christmas present foryou, Bones." "Dead guy in a sewer." "It's cold enough as it is." "Let's get this done here." "Great." "Had to be Santa." "You'd think someone who could squeeze up and down chimneys would find a sewer a snap." "Rats got to him." "The huge bacterial count, unseasonablywarm weather- explains why the rats found him so digestible." "He was washed down through the sewer system." "I mean, look at all the stuff that's around him." "Uphill is that way." "Busiest shopping district during the busiest shopping season." " Maybe he worked up there." " Or he was pushed out of a low-flying sleigh." "Cynicism from you at Christmas?" " What happened?" " Nothing." "Rebecca's taking Parker to Vermont for the holidays." " That sucks majorly." " It does suck majorly, so what do you say..." " we just get back to our dead Santa here?" " It's not Santa, Booth." " He's a dead man in a costume." " Well, the beard looks real." "And he's pretty fat." " Which doesn't make him Santa." " Well, let's not jump to conclusions." "Aw, three days before Christmas andsomebodykills Santa." "Hmm." "We'll send his gloves to the F.B.I. crime lab... see if they can get any fingerprints from the inside." "Damage here on the left side ofthe skull... suggests a strong blow to the left temporal bone." "So Santa was definitely murdered." "Someone did not like their present." "There is copious insect activity from the sewer." "I'm intrigued that the Santa myth survives so far into modern times." "Children, Dr. Addy." "It's for children." "These duds are not department store issue." "That is real ermine." " It's a hand-tailored suit." " Which I'd like to get off ofhim... afteryou two finish your scraping and" "Not that that isn't all very, very important." "What Santa is supposed to do is clearlyimpossible." "He keeps a list." "Checks it twice." "What's the big deal?" "Ifyou take into account all believers ofthe myth... factor i n ti me zones, rotation of the Earth... and assume Santa travels east to west, he would have to make... approximately 822.6 visits per second to reach every child." "So Santa parks his sleigh, unloads presents, fills stockings... eats snacks, gets back into his sleigh... and on to the next house in about 1/1,000th of a second?" "Children have to be stupid to accept that." "Okay, first of all, children are not stupid." "They're just children." "Second, Santa is magic." "Let's identify the victim, shall we?" "There's an ellipsoidaperture in the mandibularleft canine... and first premolar consistent with pipe smoking." "Mmm?" "Plus traces ofresidue on the canine." "Could this be clay?" "Santa is often portrayed smoking a clay pipe." " All right, all right." "Very funny, boys." " Come on." "Where's your holiday spirit?" "Based on the degree ofbloating and purged fluids..." "I'd estimate time of death between 72 and 96 hours ago." "Check the sewer sludge and bugs." "Get me confirmation." "Phorid fly maggots, third instar." "And they appear to have been well fed as well." "Santa was around some other food source before he died." " My bet's on milk and cookies." " This is not Miracle on 34.th Street." "We're not saying this is actuallySanta Claus." "We're merely anatomizing the evidence." "Okay." "It's still rough, but... this might help." "Dad wants to spend Christmas with the family." "So how are you gonna arrange it- bust me and Dad out?" "There are trailers for conjugal visits." "You might be able to use one ofthose." "And I talked to Amy... and she said she could bring the girls down to seeyou." "You shouldn't have done that." "Amy said the girls have been asking aboutyou." "I lied to them, Tempe." "The girls don't even know I'm in here." "They think I went overseas to work." "You're deserting them,just like Dad." "You thinkit wouldbe better forthem to find out... that the guy they think is so wonderful is actually a criminal?" "When I found out Dad was not dead, I was happy..." " even though it turned out that he was" " A murderer." "You are not a murderer, Russ." "It doesn't sound like a good Christmas present to me." " You could explain it" " No!" "Tempe, it's not gonna happen." "Can'tyou sleep onyour own couch?" "Just waiting forthe squints to find out something." "How'd it go with Russ?" "He says he doesn't want the girls to come." "Your dad" " He wants the whole Christmas package." "You know, the tree, the kids, the presents- the whole shebang." "Well, the whole shebang is impossible." "Christmas is about making the impossible happen." " You mean likeyou spending Christmas with Parker?" " Okay." "You knowwhat?" "That hurt." "Wake me up when the squint squad finds out something." "Victim appears to have odd-shaped remodeling on his sacrum... with a sclerotic margin around the injury." "Some kind of old injury?" "Yeah." "Two small indentations here... consistentwith trauma from impact... with some sort of cloven hoof." "Cloven..." "like a reindeer?" "Oh, thank God you're here." "This is so wasted on me alone." "Evidence is evidence whether anyone is there to hear it or not." " Ourvictim was kicked by a reindeer." " Oh, get the hell outta here." " The sacrum." " Wait, wait." "The evidence actually adds up to an old fat man... with a white beard, in a custom-made Santa suit, who smoked a clay pipe... and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer?" "F.B.I. lab got partial prints offthe gloves, and AFIS found a possible match." "Apparently ourvictim worked for the school board." " As a teacher?" " No." " He was a Santa Claus." " A Santa Claus?" "Or the Santa Claus?" " Check out his name." " Kristopher Kringle." "According to AFIS, it's his legal name." " Well, there's the old Dutch Sinterklaas" " Watch out!" " Well, I'm looking." " You're gonna get hit by a car." "He had a partner named Black Peter... who carried a whip to beat naughty children." "Myths are traditionally used to control behavior." "For instance, the story of Moses bringing the Ten Commandments." "Wait." "You're equating Moses to Santa?" " Well, Santa's usually considered more jolly." " Okay, great." " At least I think he is." " We're looking for 223 Hudson." "I'm sorryyou can't be with Parker, Booth." "What areyou gonna do, right?" "You just gotta face the facts sometimes." "But she shouldn't take him away." "Not at Christmas." "Not the way he feels aboutyou." " Oh, my God." " What?" "He lives in a toy store." "Oh." " Watch out for reindeer." " Yeah." "Really funny." "Wow." "Parkerwould love this place." "Look at this!" "Gingerbread." "It's got the train." "Look at this." " Booth?" " Yeah?" "This might explain the reindeer kick to Kringle's sacrum." "You gotta be kidding me." "Bones, look at this." "Wow." "This guy was committed." "Or should've been." "Hey, Bones." "Check this out." "Hidden compartment." "Looks like Santa was planning on buying a lot of toys." "Kris rented this place from me for six years." "Do you know where he lived before that?" "Oh, actually, Bones, that wasn't my first question." "He wrote his previous address on the lease." " "North Pole. "'" " Aw, come on with that." "See?" "It turned out to be a good question." " You actually accepted that address?" " Are you kidding?" "How many guys want to live above a toy store?" "It's noisy." " And Kris gave me first and last month up front in cash." "Kris Kringle from the North Pole lives above a toy store" "This is further evidence that our victim... is indeed the mythic figure known as Santa Claus." "Mythic!" "Coming from the Latin "myth,"' meaning doesn't actually exist." "No." "From the Greek "mythos,"' meaning "word. "'" " He does not" " It says here that he" "What can you tell us about Mr. Kringle's personal finances?" " Like I said, he always paid cash." " Where did he work?" "An employment agency called Temp Time, on Seventh by the convention center." "Ha!" "Couldn't have been Santa." " Why?" " Because Santa wouldn't have worked at a temp agency!" " Well, why not?" "His work is seasonal." " Because he would" " Kringle pay his rent on time?" " Always." " At least until the last couple of months." " Really?" "'Causeyou know what?" "Obviously he wasn't short on funds... with all the moneywe found in the secret compartment ofhis drawer." "Son ofa bitch." "1,200 bucks ofthat is mine." "All ofthis is rumpled small bills." "Except for these- eight $50 bills." "Brandnew, with sequential serial numbers." " I don't know about any ofthis." " Wait, whoa, whoa." "Did you guys have some kind of a disagreement?" " Is that why he was holding out on you?" " No." "No." "No." "Maybe." "Kris gave me some ideas on a toy which I patented and" " It sold?" " Somebody took a picture ofTomKat's kid with it." " So it sort oftook off." " Wow." "Kringle could've sued you for a chunk of that cash." " He never actually told me he wanted a cut." " Uh-huh." "Maybe he just stopped paying his rent." " Thinking of Parker?" " No." " Thinking about your dad?" " No." "Russ." "Well, you can't blame him for not wanting those girls to know the truth." "He's living a lie." "You'd never do that." "Well, not never." "I mean, I-I lie to Parker." " Especially this time ofyear." " What about?" " I tell him that Santa's coming." " Really?" " It's Santa Claus!" " The Santa myth is based on blackmail" ""Be good, oryou won't get any presents. "'" "No." "It's not a "lie" lie, Bones." "It's" "It's more like everybody agreeing... that up to a certain age, kids deserve to live a different kind oftruth." "Okay, by that reasoning, what we should do is figure out a lie..." "Russ could tell the girls so theywouldn't know he's in jail." "That is a brilliant Christmas idea." "Itwas intended to be a scathing and incisive comment." "Give Russ civvies" "The girls think he's flown in specially tovisit his father in jail at Christmas." "Wherewould he say he's been?" "Building a bridge in..." "Addis..." "Ababa." "Addis Ababa is the landlocked capital of Ethiopia." "Fine, Bones." "You know what?" "Just make upyour own lie." "I don't believe in lying to children." "You just want to go to Peru without feeling guilty." "You need to accept that you won't have Parker this Christmas." "I am not enjoying this holiday season at all." "Yeah?" "Well, neither am I." "The shadow on the X-ray is a slight depression ofthe outer endocranial table." "The fracture's levered inward." "There are no signs of remodeling." "This localized staining... suggests that his superficial temporal arterywas punctured." "Very likely the cause of death." "So Santa was conked on the head." "Question is, with what?" "I'll run it under the scanning electron microscope." "So what areyou doing for Christmas?" "Going home to Michigan." "What aboutyou?" "Family cruise." " Sounds nice." " You'd think so." "Let me know whatyou find." " Kris is dead?" " Afraid so." "Man." "I had a bad feeling something was wrong." "I mean, it's not like Kris to miss work... especially not this time ofyear." " I calledhim a hundred times." " Twelve." "Twelve times." "We listened to his answering machine." " You know, there are a lot ofSantas here." " But Kris was my numero uno." "I mean, all the guys knew that here." "In fact, ifit wasn't forhim, I neverwould've thought about getting into the Santa business." "Christmas is not gonna be the same without Kris Kringle." "Anthropologically, what exactly would it mean to be numero uno Santa Claus?" "Well, Kris got the best gigs." "Any ofthe other Santas, they get jealous?" "Jealous enough to kill?" "Come on." "Is this about Kris?" "Didsomething happen to him?" " Who are you?" " I'm Jeff Mantell." " What happened to Kris?" " Kris was murdered." "Everybody." "The dead Santa on the news-It was Kris." " Oh, no." " Not Kris." "Oh, no." "What can you tell me about Kris?" " Kris made a guy proud to wear the uniform." " Sure did." " That's the truth." " Was Kris murdered?" "Um, all the Santas just need to take a step back." "Any help you need, guys." "Anything at all." " Why are you limping?" " Oh, my shins." "You want to see them?" "No." "Whywould I want to seeyour shins?" "Children get to a certain age and they think it's hilarious to kick Santa in the shins." "That's" " I, uh" "All right." "I'd like to talkto anyone who knew Kris personally." "No, I only met Kris at the diner a couple ofweeks ago." "Okay." "Whoever smells like the wet sweater really needs to take a step back." " I was out ofwork, late on myalimony." " Ooh." "The man saved me." "He got me this job." "Sad but familiar tale with Kris." " Typical Kris." "Always looking to help out." " He was a saint." " Anybody know of any trouble?" " Or arguments?" " Differences of opinion?" " I can't even imagine that." "No." "The man was truly, sincerely... jolly." "We couldn't find a record ofhis bank account." "Oh." "Well, I-I cashed Kris's checks." "What would Mr. Kringle do during the three other seasons?" "Well, Kris was my only full-time temp Santa." "You know, sometimes for the odd ad campaigns who needed a Santa- car dealerships, ice cream parlors." "Sometimes hospitals had "Christmas in July. "'" "Ironically, the onlynight Kris wouldn't work was Christmas Eve." " His special night." " His night to deliver toys and goodies around the world." "We'd always tease him about that." "He never denied it." "The maggots in dead Santa's collar fed on high concentrations... of non-sulfated chondroitin, glycosaminoglycans and N-Acetylneuraminic acid." "This is why Booth hates talking toyou." "It's the regurgitated saliva of male Aerodramus fuciphagus." " Wait." "Booth hates talking to me?" " Not you specifically." "Lab people." "What's Aerodramus fuciphagus?" "The main ingredient in bird's nest soup." "It's a rare Chinese delicacy made from the nests of swiftlets." "It's more like bird spit soup ifyou ask me." "So ourvictim was in China?" "I'm thinking Chinatown is more likely." "But I also found similartraces... ofthe same stuff on the back ofSanta's pants." "Mostly on the rear end." " He sat in it?" " Yeah." "Let's hope that's how it got there." "How common is this dish?" "A single kilogram ofwhite swiftlet nest costs two grand." " Let's see who makes it here in D.C." " Done and done." "These people all seemed pretty upset to have lost one oftheir own." "I mean, they keep referring to the uniform like soldiers or cops." "According to Hodgins, Kris Kringle was probably killed... in or near a restaurant called Kum Jung Huen, up in Chinatown." " Come on." "How did he figure that out?" " Doyou reallywant to know?" " You tell me." " No, you don't." " I'm gonna trustyou on that." " Ifyou don't mind..." "I have a meeting with CarolineJulian atyour office in 10 minutes." "This about the trailer foryour dad's Christmas?" " You thinkshe'll help?" " Well, Caroline's a lawyer." "She'll help, but she'll askyou to do something in return." " That's fair." " Yeah." "Hold that thought." "I thoughtyou were going to Brazil for Christmas." " Peru." " Whatever." "South ofthe equator, doing bone things with bone people." "I checked with the people at the jail... and for my father to get the conjugal trailer... the prosecutor in charge ofhis case... has to submit a written recommendation." "Uh-huh." "You're the prosecutor in charge ofhis case." "I'm aware ofthat." "Thankyou, Dr. Brennan." "Mmm!" "Mmm!" " So will you?" " You going to Brazil and all... what's the use of Max being in that conjugal trailer all by himself?" "Well, I'm trying to persuade my brother... to celebrate Christmas with his family in there too." "Ayuletide gathering ofthe Brennan criminal element." "What doyou mean "trying"?" "Russ doesn'twant his step-daughters to know that he's in jail." "How doyou persuade them otherwise ifthey're actually having Christmas in the jail?" "One other thing." "The warden says no Christmas tree." "That's right." "Threeyears ago, somebody made a shiv out ofthe star." "Now no trees or ornaments of any kind." "Isn't that a little dreary?" "Hey, don't kill people." "Don't get sent to prison." "Have a Christmas pageant in your own home everyyear." "So will you?" "Mmm." "I will." "You will?" "Thankyou." " On one condition." " Booth said you'd say that." "Did he say I'd askyou to kiss him?" "No." " Well, areyou?" " No cheeks, no noses." "Right on the lips." "What?" "People kiss people on the nose?" "I wantyou to kiss him under some mistletoe." "Kiss Booth?" " That's right, chérie." " Why?" "Because it will amuse me." " Why?" " Because you're all..." ""Dr. Brennan" and "Special Agent Seeley Booth"... and it's Christmas, and I have a puckish side that will not be denied." " Puckish?" " What's the matter?" "You don't think I can be puckish?" "Well, I never thought about it until now." "You want me to write that letter... you kiss Booth on the lips for no less than" "One steamboat, two steamboats- Five steamboats." " That's blackmail." " That's correct." " That's unethical." " That's the deal." "Take it or leave it." " What about a tree?" " No Christmas tree." "No way." "Not even ifyou squeeze his buttocks." "Well" "I don't know." "Couldn't I just takeyou out to dinner sometime?" "You kiss Seeley Booth on the lips... and I'll make sureyour daddy has his dream Christmas." "No tree, mind you, but otherwise, as good as an accused murderer can expect." "Mmm." "Look, you ever seen this man before?" " Santa Claus?" " No." "This isn't actually Santa Claus." "The guy that's wearing the Santa outfit in this picture" "Haveyou ever seen him?" "Can I seeyour I.D. again, please?" " Booth!" " What?" "Your kid like roaches?" "Gromphadorhina, man." "Hissing roach." "Hey, grab me this container." "This is a great pet, man." " Perfect Christmas gift." " Uh, no." "Did you find the bird's nest maggots yet?" " Notyet." "I'm still looking." " Okay, I'm calling the cops." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, pal." "Hey, I am the cops, all right?" "Any, uh, fights out here..." " back in the alley in the past four days?" " No." "I don't come out here since I quit smoking." " It stinks." " The cycle oflife, myfriend." " It's quite beautiful ifyou get into it." " Is it?" "Okay, you can go back inside, but tell the rest ofyour staff..." "I'll be in in a few minutes to ask them some questions." "Hey, pal." "You better hope I don't report this to the Health Department." "Paydirt." "Fannia, Musca and Phoridae." "Yeah, these are the exact maggots I found on Kringle's suit." " Mmm." " It means this is where he was killed." "So ifhe was killed here... then he was probably... uh, dragged over here... to this grate... and dumped down this sewer." "An ignominious end for Father Christmas, huh?" " Whoa!" " Whoa, what?" "Phew!" "They were near the bottom." "No cash." "Just I.D'.s and credit." "Probably dumped there by pickpockets." "Hey, you found cash in Kringle's apartment, right?" " Right." " Maybe he picked one pocket too many." "Mm-hmm." "Well, we're gonna find out the owners ofthese wallets... and see ifthey know any Santa pickpockets." " Booth?" " Yeah?" " Can you help me out ofhere?" " Seeyou later." "Booth!" "Booth." "Oh, come" "Vermont is gonna be great, buddy." "Snowboarding, just like when we went to Liberty." "Mom says better than Liberty." " Well, she's right." " Can't you come?" " Parker" " Ifyou tell Mom that I don't want to go... then we could spend Christmas together like we always do." "It's not gonna happen this year, buddy." "Whenyou get back... me and you will have our own Christmas, just the two of us." "Without Captain Fantastic." "You know, we shouldn't call Brent Captain Fantastic anymore." " Why?" "You do." " Well, I won't anymore." " But it's funny." " No, it's disrespectful." "And ifyour mom likes someone, then we should respect that and like them too." " Is that true?" " You like Brent?" " Yeah, I do." " Wow." " Bones!" " Areyou gonna be all alone at Christmas?" "Me?" "Nah." "I'm not gonna be alone." "I'll be with Bones and all of our friends." " I'm going to Peru." " See?" "We're all going to Peru." " You're having Christmas in Africa?" " No." "Actually, Peru is" "Is Africa." "Isn't that right, Bones?" "Okay?" "I'm gonna be just fine." "So come on." "Go wash up before your mom gets here to pickyou up." "All right?" " Come here, buddy." " I love you." "I loveyou too, buddy." " Go ahead." " Okay." "You lied a lot to him." "That's the magic ofChristmas, Bones." "So, you want to tell me what happened?" "I'd just come out ofthe check cashing place and I was offto do some Christmas shopping." " When you were mugged by Santa?" " Not mugged." "It was just a bump as I was walking out ofthe place." "I said, "Excuse me. "' He ho, ho, ho'd." " We went our separate ways." " When did you realize yourwallet was missing?" "An hourlaterat the Price Co." "I'm in the checkout line." "I'm going to pay, and it's gone." "Naturallyyou went back the next day and you beat the crap out ofhim." "I asked for mywallet back." "Santa plays all dumb, and then it got physical." "It was 900 bucks, man." "Mr. Moussa, there are hundreds ofSantas in the D.C. area this time ofyear." "Come on." "You and I are trained law enforcement officers." " I got the right guy." " Ifit was him, he definitely deserved a beating." "It was him." "And he got offlucky because of my self-control." "This guy, he ruined Christmas." "Egyptians, they celebrate Christmas?" "I am not Muslim, Agent Booth." "I am Coptic." "Me, mywife, mychildren- we all celebrate Christmas." "Except for maybe not this year because this guy took my money." "And what'd you do to him?" "I hit him." " I'm not proud of that." " No pushing?" "No tussling?" "Just popped him once in the shnoz." "That's it." "You didn't roll around in the alley?" "What alley?" "Wewere in front ofa big-box store." "Soyou didn't mean to kill him?" "You just shoved him down that manhole?" "I knocked him down." "The people-They don't know why." "They don't understand." "They're looking." "Maybe they think I'm a terrorist, so I get out ofthere." "Hmm." "Right." "Do I need a lawyer?" "Bones, Pay Fast Check Cashing confirms cashing Moussa's paycheck." "Teller gave him 900 bucks- all crisp new 50s." " And Kringle had new 50s in his dresser." " Yep." " And the serial numbers match." " Suggesting Kringle is our pickpocket." "Mm-hmm." "So we're getting a warrant to analyze Moussa's clothing." "If there's any bird soup goop on him, we'll know he's our killer." "What is with the mistletoe?" "I was going to talk to you about this." " Caroline wants us to kiss under the mistletoe." " What?" "It's the onlyway she'll make Christmas for my family." " What?" "By having us kiss?" " Yes." " Why?" " Because she's feeling puckish." " Puckish?" "What's that mean?" " She's gonna be here any second." "Doyou want some gum?" "No." "My breath is just fine." "Look, I'll have a talkwith Caroline." " No." " No?" "I'm only telling you out of professional courtesy." " What?" " So thatyou won't be surprised." "Yeah, when you say "kiss,"' you mean, like, kiss-kiss, like on both cheeks?" "No, the lips." "Like brother and sister, colleagues." " French people meeting on the street." " Caroline's feeling puckish, huh?" " It means playful andimpish." " Congratulations." "I hearyou have a suspect in the Santa slaying." "Yeah." "Well, it looks like the Easter Bunny has nothing to worry about." "Did you talk to the judge about the trailer?" "Yes, I did." "What aboutyour end?" "Well, look at that." " Mistletoe." "You take a step toyour right" " But- you'll be right under the cute little sprig." "Uh" " I" "Was that enough steamboats?" "Plenty." "A whole flotilla." "I don't know what that means, but, um... merry Christmas." "It was like kissing mybrother." " You sure must likeyour brother." " She does." " I do." " She does." "The trailer is all arranged." "You're good to go, chérie." "Merry Christmas." "I'm sure she feels really foolish right now." "Yeah." "Well, hey, I-I, uh" " I really should" "I should get back and see if, uh, the forensic guy... has got anything yet..." " on Moussa's" " It's a good idea." "Yeah." "I've got stuffto do too." "Yeah." " Yeah." " That" " For" " With bones." "I" " I understand completely." "Oh." "Thanks for the gum." " What areyou doing?" " Hi." "Some metallic flakes embedded in the bone." "I'm trying to help Zack determine what kind ofweapon was used." "You know, this is our first Christmas as a couple." "Aw." "Too bad Santa's dead." "I thought that we could make Christmas decorations for our tree." "Is that too corny?" "It's what my family did when I was little." " Mmm." " And I always thought, you know... when I had my own family, that I'd carry on the tradition." " Are two people a family?" " Isn't that how every family starts?" "Then I think us making decorations is just corny enough." "I don't understand." "Has there been some kind of crisis?" " Yes." "I have a crisis." " Bones, it was just mistletoe." " Not the kiss." "That was nothing." " You kissed?" " Mistletoe." " That's not the crisis." " Was there tongue?" " All right." "You know what?" " Getyour own sex life." " That has nothing to do with sex." " Nothing." " No." " There was no s" " It was mistletoe." " Totally sexless." "I'm all ears." "Just takeyour hat offthere." "Booth- who is a veryhonestperson- says that at this time ofyear, deception is necessary..." " for the happiness oflittle children." " No, I'm being misquoted." " Booth is absolutely right." " She got the gist." "Yeah, there's a fictional element to Christmas." "You mean the whole "birth ofa savior"rigmarole?" " It is not rigmarole." " How do you know?" "No, no." "Dr. Brennan, it's-it's the, uh, the feeling of Christmas." "What people call the Christmas spirit." "It's a kind of dream or hope that we carrywith us from childhood." " But as adults" " Areyou including you in that?" "As adults, we're imbued by the pragmatic routines oflife... which makes it difficult for us to regard anything with childlikewonder." "Butyou know, it's all right for us to try." "We put on silly hats and drape trees with sparkly lights... and wrap gifts in garish paper, and that's good for us." "It's not only all right to allow children the transient experience... ofinnocence and joy, it's our responsibility." " Okay." " Okay?" "I found that very helpful." "What doyou think I've been saying for the past four days?" "You're gonna help me lie to the girls?" "Well, apparently, it's not morallywrong to lie at Christmas." " What ifthey know I'm lying?" " Well, apparently, sometimes lying is a kind of gift." "I'm hazy on the rules, but the idea is, even ifthey knowyou're lying..." " they knowyou're doing it out oflove." " Where areyou getting this?" "Because I'm in jail and I'm getting better advice." "Look, Russ, we have a plan." "I bring you some civilian clothes." "The girls thinkyou popped in from Addis Ababa" " Addis Ababa?" " Well, what did you and Amy tell them?" " We said I went to Burma." " Burma?" "Who cares where we chose?" "Burma's on the other side ofthe world." "Russ, Burma doesn't even exist anymore." " What happened to it?" " Well, it became Myanmar." "There's another problem with the trailer." " No Christmas tree." " Why?" "Shank material." "Is it important?" "Christmas with no tree?" "It's a disaster." "Forget it." "They'reyoung, Russ." "They believe in Santa Claus." "They believe in you becauseyou love them." "And they'll sit on your lap, and they'll open their presents." "And they'll believe in you and Burma... and-and maybe theywon't notice that there's no tree." "Look, Amywill be there." "Dad will be there." "The girls will be there." " And you?" " I was going to." "But we're not the only people getting the trailer." "And I thought it would be in the afternoon, but now it's Christmas Eve." "And I've gotta be on that plane." " To Peru?" " Yeah." "Tempe, Dad wants us all." "I mean, you're one of us." "You found what killed Kris Kringle?" " We know what it was made of." " And we know the shape." "Something crescent-shaped and brass." "I couldn't find anything this shape..." " but by making a slight paradigm shift" " Paradigm shift is my idea." "and slightly change the angle" "A circle, not a crescent." "I believe the mark left on Kris Kringle's skull was the result... ofbeing struckwith a circular object approximately 15 centimeters in diameter." " Six inches." " A bell." "A brass bell." "Meaning he was probably attacked by another Santa." "Everybody have your bells?" "All right!" "All right!" "Enough!" "Stop!" "You can tell the elves they can go now." "Elves, go for coffee." " See you later." " What's the use ofbells without Santa?" " Those bells are all the same." " Yeah." "I buy 'em in bulk." " I sell them to the Santas for cost." " Was that Kris's idea?" " Yeah." "How did you know?" " Just getting a feel forthe guy." "Listen." "We have a warrant here to inspect your bells." " Inspect ourwhat?" " Bells, Larry." " Uh, why?" " Agent Booth and I are gonna swab each ofyour bells... with a cotton ball soaked in phenolphthaleine." " Is it gonna sting?" " Bells, Larry." "She said bells." " You need a hearing aid, Larry." " Why areyou "antisepticising" our bells?" " Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho." " Steady there, Santa." "Why do you need a warrant to disinfect a bell?" " What's the matter there, Santa?" " They're looking for something, and they're not telling us!" "Look, I read the warrant." "It's the law." " Just give him the bell so we can go." " Jeff, just show 'em your bell." " Just give usyourbell." " No." "I'm not gonna see my son for Christmas this year... so I'm a little annoyed with Christmas and everything that comes along with it." " So give the lady the bell." " Give 'em a break." " Give herthe bell." " Come on." "Go ahead." "Thankyou." "The brass plating on this bell is chipped." "Ho, ho." "Look at that." " What does that mean?" " Okay, Santa, you're under arrest for murder." " What?" " This bell is the weapon that killed Kris Kringle." "No." "No, no, no!" "I didn't kill Kris." "Come on, guys." "We switch bells all the time." " Now, that's true." " All of our bells are identical, you know?" "Weput one down, and then wejustpick up another." "Okay." "Just hold on to your bells there for a second." "Any ideas?" " No." " Come on, think, Bones." "Paint the picture." "It's gotta be one ofthese guys." "Halfofthese guys owe Kringle the money." " One of them's a pickpocket." " Ah." "Gets the money from the Egyptian." " Look, could we go?" " Coolyourjets, Santa." " Go have a cookie and some eggnog." " Hey." "Kringle gets suspicious, he catches the "pickpocketer"... dumping the wallet in the Dumpster, confronts him" " We have to snifftheir behinds." " We have to sniff" " You lost me there." " All right, everybody up against the wall!" "Or, okay, putyour hands on the table." " First ofall, that's myjob." "And second-Why?" " They fought." "They rolled around through the bird's nest soup goop." " Right." "Good thinking." " Yeah." "That's good- except for the "sniffing their butts" thing." "Okay, you start over there." "I'll start here." "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "You're gonna sniff my guys?" "Geez!" "All right, this is officially the worst Christmas ever." "I don't know." "Don'tyou need a warrant for this?" " Hey, pal." "Why don't you just be quiet?" " Turn around." " Yeah." " Come on." " Bird's nest soup." " It's Jeff!" "." "He killed Kris." " Areyou gonna pull them off?" " Fine." "Watch this." "Hey!" "Howyou like it now, Santas?" "Get offofhim!" "Everybodyoff!" "." "On your feet." "You're under arrest." "Let's go." "The man is a disgrace to his uniform." "No." "Just listen." "I will get him back to you in time tomorrow before you leave for Vermont." " I hate Vermont." " No, I didn't tell him to say that." "He didn't have to find the F.B.I." "He just went up to a cop on the street... told him he was lost and said that his dad works at the F.B.I." "Come on." "I n you go." "That's it." "Okay, buddy, here's the deal." "We get to spend Christmas day together... but then I've gotta take you to Vermont." " Understand?" " Okay." "Will you miss Africa?" "Africa?" "No." "I'd rather spend time with you." " Do we got a tree?" " We got two trees." " Two trees?" " Two." " Why?" " All right, come on." "I'll show you." "Come on." "Here." "I want you to try this, honey." " Are they having fun?" " What are you talking about?" "Of course they are." "And by the way, this is the best Christmas that I have had in 16 years." "Me too." "Oh." "Mmm!" "Oh, my God!" " What's wrong?" " What is this?" " It's just a little good cheer I made under the mattress." " Ugh." "Booth?" "Bones, hey." "Good news." "Turns out I got Parker for Christmas after all." " Christmas magic, right?" " Hey, so we figured we'd call and, uh... wish you a littleyuletide cheer." " Merry Christmas, Bones!" " Thanks, Parker." "Hey, ifthat's Booth, you wish him Merry Christmas from me, will you?" " My dad says Merry Christmas." " Hey, listen, Bones." " Uh, I got a little something foryou." " Oh, I gotyou something too." "We can exchange gifts in a couple of days." " Go to the window and open up the blinds now." " What?" "Hey, everybody." " It looks like we got our tree after all." " What?" "A tree?" " Oh, mygosh!" "It's so exciting!" " Oh,yes!" "Merry Christmas." " I love my gift, Booth." " Look at the lights on it." "It looks so pretty." "Merry Christmas, Bones." "It's the best Christmas ever!" "What's that mean?"