"BORN IN ABSURDISTAN" "A film by HOUCHANG ALLAHYARI" "Mr." "Secretary, I report: border patrol is fully present and accounted for." "Mr." "Secretary, is this the Fortress Europe?" "Our guards shall protect our laws." "To those whose lives are being threatened ... we shall, of course, grant asylum." "But we can't let in all those ... just looking to improve his or her economic situation." "incidentally, there was no press conference scheduled here." "We're concerned here with a single issue, an important issue:" "securing our borders." "If you have further questions," "let me referyou to our Deputy Assistant clerk." "please, Sir..." "Stefan, you take over." "It looks like you're going to have to settle for me." "If you have any questions about the legal situation," "I'II be happy to answer them." "As the Secretary said, border influx must be halt border influx must be regulated." "Moreover, in the line of duty our officers consistently endeavor ... to operate in a humane way." "We mustn't forget..." "We mustn't forget that it is a strenuous and dangerous job ... to combat cross-border crime." "Our guards are the first impression of our country." "Yourfather is driving me cra"z"y." "He thinks he's helping you." "What am I an"yw"ay, his spokesman?" "Ijust felt another little punch." "Can you feel it?" "He's going to be a soccer star not a boxer." "Or she..." "Makes no difference to me, boy or girl, just so he plays soccer." "You know what?" "As far as I'm concerned the baby can take its time." "Such a beautiful belly." "The most beautiful belly in the world." "Sorry, I forgot, I should be more careful." "You should have been more careful 9 months ago." "And tomorrow we're getting a bigger couch." "Excuse me, can you help me find my way." "Second floor, all the way to the Ieft." "Thank you." "How do you know this?" "Stefan." "Honey, sorry." "They didn't give me the message at the office." "And then the stupid car wouldn't start." "How do you feel?" "Hi, Stefan." "hello, Doctor." "Let's get to work." "What?" "The birthing exercises." "Let's go." "Easy now, here comes a contraction, inhale ... and exhale ... and inhale again ... push now..." "Lean back." "Breath deeply." "Give your baby plenty of oxygen." "Now, inhale ... and push hard." "Keep pushing." "I can't." "Give him ten drops of EffortiI." "Take him to my office." "Strohmayer." "congratulations." "A strapping boy." "I'm a father." "KarIi..." "Thank you so much." "No problem." "You have been very kind." "Karli, Karli is here." "What's going on here?" "You rang?" "Oh, Sister SigIinde, you're here." "Marion." "Excuse us, we didn't mean to disturb you." "Sister, please get these people out of my room." "I'm sorry, but you see we have very little space." "I can't leave a new-born baby in the hallway." "But this just won't do, my wife is exhausted, she needs to rest." "I'm not paying a fortune for a single room ... that's as busy as a Turkish ba"z"aar!" "please calm down, we can talk about it." "This will cost you your job, I promise you that, Sister SigIinde." "The head of this ward happens to be a friend of mine." "I already feel sorry for his child." "With such an asshole for a father." "Excuse me?" "Emre..." "Stefan!" "Get out of my room this instant, or I'II sue you for intimidation ... and you'II be back where you came from before you know it." "If you want to say something, speak German." "Sister, what's going on here?" "Who gave you permission to put two patients in this room?" "Sir, we had no choice, there's no room an"yw"here." "I'II have to ask you to leave." "although it is a double room, we've always had room for two in here." "Racist." "Give me my baby." "Better hold your tongue now." "The doctor is absolutely right, you better hold your tongue now." "The name tags are finally here." "What?" "You mean they still don't have their name tags?" "I'II have a word with you later." "It isn't ourfauIt, it was so busy..." "Take care of it immediately." "No wait, give them to me." "I'II do it myself." "But Sir." "Regina, wait outside." "Emre, Iet's get out of here." "Yes, sweetheart." "How do you do, Mrs. Deputy Assistant clerk." "Did everything go well?" "Yes, wonderfully, great, terrific, a strapping baby boy." "hello." "She's a little tired." "Let's have coffee in my office." "The nurse will call us." "Get rid of the Turks." "Good afternoon." "How's the new father?" "congratulations on the new progeny." "I trust yourfather-in-Iaw was pleased, too." "Yes, yes, thank you." "But between you and me, here's something ... no one is pleased about." "Why?" "Everything is in order." "A residence ban isn't warranted here." "If they all do this, pretty soon we'II be a Turkish colony." "Don't rock the boat, and you'II go a Iong way..." "Come on, yourfather is getting impatient." "Are you the father?" "No, I'm the mother." "Just asking." "Let's go." "He's going to be a Iady-kiIIer, just like his grandpa, you'II see, a real Hoffmann." "Mama, I can do it myself." "Do they have the right baby now?" "Of course, what do you think?" "It's funny, I can't say who the little tyke looks like." "To me it's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen, maybe with the exception of Marion." "My god, but we waited long enough." "I know." "To tell the truth, I had given up hope." "I know." "And Marion's a perfectly healthy woman." "And Stefan is a perfectly healthy man." "We were hardly married a year before ourfirst child was on its way." "Isn't that right, Maria?" "Do you need help with the birth certificate?" "Wafer, Mama?" "No." "Are we visiting someone here?" "Why did you bring up the luggage?" "Just wait a second, calm down." "Don't you think we should go home first?" "Come, come." "But where are we?" "Just come." "What are we doing here?" "Come, come in." "Who lives here?" "This is our new apartment." "really?" "Of course." "Thank you for coming." "And Mrs. NavratiI doesn't want anyone else washing her hair." "I'm looking forward to it, too." "May I?" "A genuine original Viennese." "The first Austrian-born family member." "It takes more than being born here to be an Austrian." "But he was born here, in Austria." "Whether Austrian or Turk, our son will be someone special." "Once again congratulations on your beautiful baby." "My regards to yourfather." "Look, do you recogni"z"e that man?" "Isn't that the man from the hospital?" "Is it our turn?" "No, we have to wait until they call our number." "There must be some mistake." "The birth certificate bears my wife's name." "It's only a temporary birth certificate." "If you want your name on it, you'II have to provide proof of paternity." "What are you saying, that I'm not the father?" "You are insulting us." "You don't understand, your marriage license isn't valid here." "You have to take this to family court." "What?" "family court, what business do we have there?" "I don't understand," "I tell you ..." "I'm the father, my wife says so, too." "She ought to know." "Don't get upset, these are just formalities." "FormaIities?" "They send us from room to room with a little baby in our arms." "Good-bye." "I don't think this is where you want to be." "He's reading it through from the start." "Do you think he understands any of it?" "You had a church wedding in Turkey, what is it..." "islam, so you got married in the mosque, but no civil ceremony." "You understand nothing, in our country one doesn't get married in the mosque." "My wife is right." "Correct." "But in any case you will have to have your marriage license translated ... and then certified at the Turkish embassy." "Then you come back here, OK." "Good-bye." "Look..." "Not so close, you'II frighten it." "Marion only has eyes for one beetle now, but despite all genetic ... odds, it's a real prince." "I didn't hear that." "Mrs." "Ph.D. is discovering the pleasures of motherhood." "Has your husband managed to tie you to the stove after all?" "Marion, we received this from Egypt." "Frit"z" found it in the stomach of a toad:" "CIavicornia insarena." "Now we have our own specimen." "CIavicornia insarena?" "We've got 40 in the basement." "hello, Emre." "hello." "What brings you here at this hour?" "I have a problem." "Mahmad, bring tea." ""For twice neglecting to register with the alien police ... a residence ban is hereby placed on the following persons:" "Dönmez, Emre;" "Dönmez, Emine."" "How do I tell Emine?" "An outrage." "You have to go immediately to lodge an appeal." "You mustn't miss the deadline." "Get out, can't you read, one at a time." "Shut the door." "Next, please." "Are you here to see me?" "Room No 73?" "Yes." "That's me." "I'm sorry." "No, no, I'm the one who should be sorry." "please." "First let me apoIogi"z"e for what happened at the hospital," "I was a little mixed up." "You paid for the room." "Won't you have a seat, please." "Thank you." "hello." "Is that your son?" "Yes, that's KarIi." "He's got his father's eyes." "alright then, what can I do foryou, Mr....?" "Dönmez." "Emre Dönmez" "I want to lodge an appeal from this decision." "It says here we have to leave the country." "If you have valid grounds for an appeal..." "certainly, we've lived here for ten years..." "I've been working for the same company for 8 years." "Here are my papers." "We just moved into a new apartment." "We were two days late in registering with the police." "Yes, it was a mistake." "We were so excited about the baby." "I would be glad to pay the fine." "As far as I can tell, you meet all the requirements, I don't see any problem." "That means the grounds are good?" "Good afternoon." "Yes, well ... there should be no problem." "You have nothing to worry about." "Thank goodness." "It took a Iong time ... to get used to life here, we can't go back anymore." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Thank you a thousand times." "Good-bye." "glad I couId help you." "What was that all about?" "Oh nothing." "You wouldn't believe happenstance sometimes." "Did you happen to send a couple of aliens home?" "No, no, that was an appeal, but the grounds are valid." "Oh no, I forgot to tell him he has to submit a written appeal." "I bet he thinks he talked to me and now it's all taken care of." "That's what they always think." "But that's bad." "I know them in a way." "Don't be ridiculous, Strohmayer, are you going to chase after a couple of Turks?" "He'II probably figure it out himself." "Sit down," "after all, it's not our job to bring in more and more foreigners." "You don't want to ruin things foryourseIf, with your qualifications." "You can't adopt every darkie that comes through the door." "And out you go." "Can you get it?" "Yes." "Yes?" "It's Sister Regina, from St. Barbara hospital." "Oh, sure, come on up." "Thank you." "Good evening, what is it?" "Don't you want to tell me why you're here?" "please don't give me away." "I know it's awful, a crime." "I never should have listened to Sister SigIinde, but I didn't know she was this cra"z"y." "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand." "please, you must promise you won't tell on me." "My profession is all I have, and I've never made a mistake before." "OK, but what is this all about?" "Won't you come in first?" "Have a seat." "So, please..." "That's not your child." "I'm sorry, but I happen to know this is our child." "Your child got switched, at the hospital." "What do you mean, switched?" "unfortunately, I'm absolutely sure," "Sister SigIinde said she would put everything back in order, and I believed her." "But yesterday we were at our usual wine tavern ... and she told me the children were still switched." "Stefan..." "What kind of stories are you telling us," "Are you cra"z"y?" "You can't just come here and..." "But you were the one who took the wrong child from Sister SigIinde's arms, when the Turkish family was there." "Oh my god." "I want this woman to leave right now." "But I know who has your child, I have their name." "please, don't tell me..." "The Dönmez family." "Yes, the Turkish family in your room." "Marion, get the baby ready." "You're coming with us." "It's going to be alright again." "It's going to be alright again?" "What are you thinking of doing?" "I'm getting our baby back, what do you think we came here for?" "What's going on?" "Stop this racket or I'm calling the police." "Open up." "I must speak to the Dönmez family urgently." "Never heard of them." "Nonsense, I know they live here." "Oh, the Turks." "They're gone." "What do you mean gone?" "When are they coming back?" "They aren't." "Went back to Turkey." "Deported." "Stefan, please." "Get moving!" "Stefan..." "Assuming we find these people, what do we say to them?" "We'II see when we get there." "After all, they'II want their own child back, too." "Do you have the passports?" "Afternoon." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Room No 4 please." "Can we get something to eat?" "Sorry, everyone's gone home, but I couId get you some bread and butter." "That's got to be Marion," "I feel it." "hello?" "It's me, Stefan." "Ijust wanted to give you a call..." "Everything's fine here." "It's a little complicated to call us, this is only temporary." "What's wrong?" "Is the little guy OK?" "Is the car OK?" "We're in Carinthia," "KarIi is fine." "The car too." "Marion can't come to the phone." "Yes, I'II tell her." "Look, I have to get off now." "Take care." "Bye." "Maybe we should have had a blood test done." "Do you know how long that takes?" "By then, we might have never found the baby again." "Are you so sure?" "Yes, I am." "Does that make it easierforyou?" "I don't know." "please don't start up with that again." "We agreed." "We're driving over, getting our baby, and driving back." "Stop!" "Stop, this instant!" "Poppies are much redder here." "Not AIeman." "Austrian." "We're going to IncirIi also, follow us." "IncirIi here?" "Yes, yes." "IncirIi." "Shit." "I don't understand." "Mustafa make car good again." "I hope we don't have a hole in the radiator." "Just a second." "Dönmez family here?" "Come, come." "Mustafa." "Come." "OK, OK, Mustafa." "Marion." "Come on, Iet's go." "Come, Mustafa knows all." "Come, car..." "Mustafa ... make car good." "probably better if you wait here." "I brought tourists." "They have a Mercedes?" "It broke down." "Where is the man now?" "Over there." "Have him come here." "tell him the car can't be fixed today." "You there, come here." "Ask them why they're here." "What are you doing here?" "What do you want?" "Stefan, what's going on?" "We have to talk." "Stay away from me, Austrian!" "Dönmez!" "Something's strange." "follow them, find out what happens, go on." "It's about our children." "Wait, Dönmez!" "You have the wrong child." "Mr." "Dönmez, it's about the child, about our children." "Wait." "You have the wrong baby." "I want nothing to do with you." "Our children were switched in the hospital." "Mr." "Dönmez, we have to talk." "About your deportation, I never wanted that." "Dönmez, please." "Coffee..." "Yes please." "If we come to an agreement, Mr. Dönmez," "I can see to it that your problems in Vienna are solved." "I won't exchange my child for a residence permit." "Besides, what can a little civil servant like you do?" "firstly, it's not your child, and secondly, the Secretary of the Interior happens to be a friend of mine, well, at Ieast I know him personally." "What's his name?" "Heiri." "And his?" "KarIi." "uncle, uncle..." "Why are you wailing like a jackass on fire?" "Do you know what I heard?" "No, what?" "You know the Austrian..." "Yes, so what?" "He slept with Emre's wife." "What?" "He slept with Emre's wife?" "Yes." "Emre, get out here right now." "What is it, Mayor?" "I'II tell you what, idiot?" "Your wife was knocked up by that preposterous person." "What gave you that idea?" "If that was true, I would have killed him long ago." "What's going on?" "He heard from someone that your husband slept with me." "No." "The man who chased us out of Austria," "I told you about him before." "really?" "Now he wants my child." "What a devil." "Leave him to me, you'II see." "Listen, do you know what we do here to people like you?" "Mayor, if you believe these lies, soon the whole village will, too." "If the people hear..." "dangerous." "You slept together." "slow down." "Who is spreading that nonsense?" "Okay, okay." "I'm starting to like the guy, Iet's see what we can get." "What did he say?" "We're going to a hotel, my hotel, hotel Mustafa." "Good... and safe." "welcome, hotel Mustafa." "Nice room." "He is incredibly cute, the little guy." "Who?" "Heiri." "I have the feeling he has your eyes." "Do you think so?" "I don't know." "You know what?" "I don't think they'II ever give up the baby, they've already gotten so used to it." "Emine is a nice woman." "Be careful, Marion." "We mustn't get emotionally involved." "Go and check on the baby." "Mrs." "Dönmez." "Emine." "My husband isn't here." "It's you I want to speak with." "Come in." "Marion?" "Good morning." "Ah." "Good morning." "Have you seen my wife?" "Wife gone?" "Yes, didn't you see her?" "Gone." "Water gone, too?" "Water... one week, refilled..." "I still don't know why you are involved with this Mustafa." "I bet it does seem strange, but Mustafa has the entire village in his pocket." "In other words he makes all the decisions." "It's the same way in Austria, too." "There's nothing nice about the man, nevertheless we had to ask him for help." "We came here with hardly any money, and we didn't know what to do." "That's why we're at his mercy." "Mustafa is a disagreeable person, but at Ieast he helps you." "Even worse, he's a fool." "He's such a fool ... that he wants to control ourfuture." "We will probably have to spend the rest of our lives in this village." "I don't know what will become of us here." "I'm a foreigner here ... and I feel like I'm imprisoned." "This isn't my home," "I didn't envision my Iife this way." "I don't know ... what will become of my son." "Have you ever considered having both boys stay with us in Austria, they could go to high school together and you could come visit them..." "Never say that again, never say that again." "I know you now, Marion, you mean no harm," "I would never do that." "Of course not, I wouldn't do it either." "Woman, bring us fresh tea." "So, tell me, how did this little civil servant get a Mercedes." "I don't know." "You must know." "AII over the world people know what bribery is." "Don't tell me he's corrupt too." "My wife is gone, have you seen her?" "Come with me." "Thank you, Mayor." "I will bring you to your wife." "Carfinished?" "Car broken." "Come." "wonderful." "Where is my wife?" "We missed her, the bathing hours for women are over." "But you have to try this, afterwards you feel reborn." "I have to go to work now, have fun." "He wants me to really work this one over good." "Dönmez!" "Dönmez!" "How do you expect to feed a child, tell me that." "You're the village idiot here!" "Better than being a coId-hearted dog like you!" "I can't hand my child over to someone like you!" "Your child?" "You don't even want your own child back." "What are you saying?" "You don't even care." "Or hasn't it sunk in?" "My child is your child and your child is my child." "Fine." "Then we trade children." "We each get our own baby." "Nice haircut." "Expensive." "We trade children." "It's finally time." "We need to talk with each other calmly." "talking is fine, but we must act." "That's not the answer either." "What's up, Hoca?" "We're going to a circumcision ceremony." "We thought we'd stop by." "We need strong men." "Come along, you can earn some spare change." "The mayor says you Iike our village, isn't it lovely..." "I hope you stay with us." "My god, how adorable." "I hope we celebrate his circumcision someday." "What did he say?" "Sünnet." "Sünnet?" "What, circumcision?" "Yes." "Are you cra"z"y?" "I'm not letting my son be circumcised!" "Give him to me!" "Have you gone cra"z"y?" "The Imam invited us to see a circumcision celebration, that's all." "Stefan isn't normally like this." "He probably thought ... they'd cut away part of his masculinity." "Circumcised men are better in bed." "Just kidding." "Look, my colleagues at work gave it to me." "You must have been very popular." "Yes, I was." "The beer here doesn't taste good to me anymore." "That's not very patriotic." "I'm awfully sorry about what happened in Vienna." "Ijust wanted you to know that." "I know." "I know." "But I don't belong here, not anymore." "But this is your home." "It used to be." "I'm a man who comes back ... without having accomplished anything." "The only difference is that now I have a son." "With me it's ... almost exactly the same..." "A child." "I thought where you come from that isn't so important." "But it is for me, do you understand?" "I've thought about it ... and I will die of shame," "but we have to ... have a blood test done." "Yes." "We have to find out once and for all which child is which." "But not in Turkey." "In Austria." "You'II have to give us Heiri for a few days." "Heiri isn't going an"yw"here without us." "Don't you trust me?" "No." "It was only a joke." "And what if we take you back with us?" "AII three of you." "You want to smuggle us over the border?" "Don't you think I have the guts?" "You must be drunk," "you must be drunk." "We don't even have your car." "They've got to finish fixing it some time." "It'II be a Iong time before Mustafa ... hands it over." "Never." "That's what he thinks, he doesn't know who he's dealing with." "Cheers, my friends." "Cheers, Mayor." "Yes, my friends, just look at the pashas my family produced, am I right?" "absolutely." "should I sit here and rot?" "Of course not, Mayor." "Good thing the Austrian came along." "I sent word to istanbul, there is interest in our region." "Don't miss this chance, otherwise I can do nothing foryou." "They were excited immediately, they will be here in a few days." "Doubters amongst you, I shall show you how tourism is run." "uncle, uncle." "What is it?" "Do you know what Ijust saw?" "What?" "The Austrian..." "Quiet." "When the mayor speaks, don't interrupt him." "I'II be right back, Mayor." "Do you also have plans for me, Mayor?" "Of course I've thought of you too, my son." "You will be the manager of one of my hotels." "Oh thank you, thank you." "We're getting into the tourist business." "How can you just sit here with yourfriends?" "Your wife and child are at home." "Aren't you ashamed?" "Your son's crying." "Go home now." "Did everything go well?" "Yes, fine." "God protect you." ""sleep, my child, sleep," ""sleep so you will grow up big," ""so you can take great strides," ""so you will become an important man."" "Are you coming or not?" "Why are you so uptight?" "Don't be stupid." "Come on, Iet's get it over with, you're almost done." "If we kiss a little, I'II come sooner." "For 500 schiIIings, what do you think?" "Do you want to finish?" "No tongue, just the lips." "If you act stupid, give me my money." "I'm leaving." "We're bound to find someone here." "You take care of it." "Wish me luck." "Stick your tongue in your mother!" "Don't talk like that about my mother." "Friggin' whore!" "Bastard!" "Excuse me, miss, can I have a moment of your time?" "Are you Austrian?" "Where's your car?" "Let's go over there." "tell me, what was with the truck driver, did he or didn't he?" "Do I Iook like a fool?" "He wanted to stick his tongue in my mouth for 500 schiIIings, I'm no dog." "And if you made an exception and did a tongue job," "I don't know, how much would that cost, approximately?" "2000." "That's for the whole night, right?" "If you're gonna bargain, take a hike." "slow down," "I'II give you 1,150 schiIIings, that's all I have, and you give him the special service." "What?" "No kinky stuff." "If you're thinking of both of you doing it with me..." "No, just him and you." "Now take the money, go to him and give him my regards." "Go on." "Shit, shit, shit." "What?" "Do you know what I'II get...?" "Any idea what I'II get ... if they catch me with you?" "What did you say?" "5 years in the slammer for one shitty blow job." "What's wrong?" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "will you tell me what's going on here?" "You can't do this, we're not even at the borderyet." "That's right." "But that was the arrangement." "Look bud, if they catch me, I'm up shit creek back home," "I can drive a friggin' horse-drawn carriage." "I don't wanna drive a carriage for a living." "Nothing can happen." "You let him get in the back of your cab and we're all set." "Are you going to jail for me?" "You had a girl, you want another one?" "I'm not going to jail foryou." "Look, you get in and we get in." "Get your hands off me." "We'II take his bag..." "Lay off." "You gave your word." "You fucking, stupid ..." "Mercedes driver." "please." "You're an asshole." "You're such a miserable creep, a yeIIow-beIIied worm." "You big ugly baby, good-for-nothing, impotent asshole." "You're a fucking, shit-faced piece of shit." "Marion, forget it." "You yeIIow-beIIied, impotent asshole!" "I'm not impotent." "I'm going to close it now." "Everything OK?" "Thank you." "Keep quiet now." "Damn, I knew this would happen." "KarIi, please cry." "KarIi, I said to cry." "They're searching those people's car up there." "Stay calm, everything will be fine." "They won't search a Mercedes." "They don't stop cars like ours." "Marion..." "Let's just pray that Emre makes it through the CO2 check." "Good morning." "Good morning, welcome to Austria." "could you pull over to the right, please." "That's it." "They've got us." "We'II let her out, maybe we'II get mitigating circumstances." "Mr." "Strohmayer, my colleagues recogni"z"ed you immediately." "You were here with the Secretary of the Interior." "I thought you wanted to search my car." "Not at all," "Ijust wanted to offeryou a cup of coffee, and give you the chance to look around without all those pesky reporters." "Everything's OK." "Everything is OK." "But we really work hard ... to be able to maintain security." "I thought you might want to put in a good word for us ... back at the federal Department, nothing official, though." "That's often most effective." "I'm not actually in charge of such matters..." "If we want to combat the smuggling of human beings here, the Department of the Interior must do a Iot more." "We have the equipment now, but not enough people, not enough trained men." "would you Iike to test the CO2 probe?" "Sorry, but I really must go." "The baby gets restless." "You understand, next time maybe." "Good-bye." "could I give that a try after all?" "Of course." "First you measure the air content." "How much is it?" "It's fine." "And now the probe." "careful..." "And?" "This one's clean." "Thank you." "This one's fine." "Thank you." "Here's my card, feel free to give me a call." "I'II see what I can do foryou." "Good-bye." "Marion." "Attention, illegal alien!" "Run, you idiot, get out of here!" "Emre!" "Emre!" "I've never seen you this way, Mr. Deputy Assistant clerk." "Why are you interested in this story?" "I mean, this kind of thing happens every day." "It's a jungle out there." "Look, this isn't by any means easy for me, but I have my reasons, and you really could do me this favor." "Yes, yes, I know." "The babies really touch one's heart." "It is indeed a heart rending story." "You scratch my back, I scratch yours." "excellent, that's exactly what I had in mind." "It's not time yet, we're still on playback." "No need for inhibitions, if you feel like crying, that's great, too." "Don't get nervous, everything will be fine." "And I'd say, Iet's let the Strohmayers answer the questions, they're easier to understand and it makes a better impression." "There, that's better, thank you." "Those were the ladies from the belly dancing club..." "Jeannie." "...from Lin"z", and you're all..." "Housewives." "Thank you foryour performance." "These special guests have shown us ... how dancing and exercise can ... keep you fit and happy." "For them this is no Ionger just a hobby, it has become a passion." "And now, an incredible story ... about parental love and desperation." "A story that was in all the media:" "An Austrian child deported to Turkey ... and a courageous, determined father ... who wants his child back at all costs." "But what do you do when you have loved a child," "looked after ... and cared for it, only to discover that it isn't your own child after all?" "Let us all welcome ... the Strohmayer and Dönmez families." "Good evening, please have a seat." "OK, here comes my main man." "Look, there he is, that's him." "That's my man." "My man with the alien police." "Now I always bring over cigarettes, nothing can happen to me." "That's the dude I had in my truck," "Mr. fe"z"-head." "I had vegies in back." "Their probe wouldn't have detected shit ... because the stuff people give off ... is the same as what vegetables give off." "Look, see the kids, the two kids." "total babes, huh?" "Both of them." "A little exotic maybe, but not bad." "B"ut what do you do ..."" "when you have loved a child, looked after and cared for it, only to discover that it isn't your own child after all?" "Let us all welcome ... the Strohmayer and Dönmez families." "It's a great opportunity before the election, you can beef up your popularity ratings." "Let me think about this:" "If I do nothing, I'm an ass ... who lets them wrench little kids away from their parents." ""Mrs. Strohmayer," could you tell us..." "If I intervene..." "No one is going to say anything." "He'II just make an asshole of himself." "No, I definitely think now is the time for maudlin politics." "Don't be sarcastic." "What I want to know is who got the press onto this story anyhow." "Here are the two families who have had to endure this emotional tug-of-war." "And we're talking about the strongest of all emotions here:" "motherIy Iove." ""Of course at first" it was a shock because ..." "Karli had been living with us for three months, and ..." "Karli is our child." ""Yes, I can understand that,"" "but which baby do you love now?" ""l can't answer that."" "Mrs." "Strohmayer, can you tell us ... how you felt when you learned ... that your baby wasn't your baby after all?" "Of course at first it was a shock because ..." "KarIi had been living with us for three months, and ..." "KarIi is our child." "Yes, I can understand that, but which baby do you love now?" "I can't answer that." "I can't imagine not loving either one of them." "I can't imagine not loving either one of them." ""And what about you," Mrs. Dönmez?" ""l love both children the same."" "So you see, ladies and gentlemen, this tragedy has to move anyone who has a heart." "B"ut the laws" are straightforward, little Heiri must go back to Turkey." "And what about you, Mrs. Dönmez?" "I Iove both children the same." "So you see, ladies and gentlemen, this tragedy has to move anyone who has a heart." "But the laws are straightforward, little Heiri must go back to Turkey." "Both couples are being separated from a child that they love as their own." "tell me, Mr. Strohmayer, is it especially terrible for a father to lose his son?" "I don't think that's the point, it wouId be the same with a daughter." "Of course it's difficult..." "You don't have children of your own, do you?" "And what about you, Mr. Dönmez?" "Both Heiri and KarIi are my sons." "Yes, it's the same way with me, and that's why we want the Dönmez family to get ... another chance in Austria." "Ladies and gentlemen, Ijust got word that we have a caller on the line, and it happens to be ... the Secretary of the Interior." ""l will do everything" in my power... to prevent this drama from continuing." "I am sure we will come up with a decent and fair solution." "Just look at that, not bad all this hullabaloo, hmm?" "I should have prevented the mix-up in the first place." "silly girl." "Do you think I would have permitted the babies to get mixed up?" "What?" "The children never were..." "I couId never do a thing like that." "What a fool I was to go running to them..." "It was all part of the plan." "We're about to find out once and for all, the test is 100% accurate." "Yes." "We have no other choice?" "That's right." "Soon all our problems will be solved." "Just a few more days." "Afew days reprieve." "We could just walk away, what do you think?" "We walk away." "Have they gone cra"z"y?" "That's wonderful." "Something on the beach, with palm trees." "What about the test?" "Mustafa'II be our activity coordinator." "When do we find out?" "It doesn't need to be big, our hotel." "Not at all, we'II just sell the apartment." "When do we get the results back?" "We don't." "What?" "That's right, no results, we scrapped the tests." "We don't need them." "We don't need them, exactly."