"captioning made possible by comedy central * i'm going down to south park * * gonna have myself a time * * friendly faces everywhere * * humble folks without temptation * * going down to south park * * gonna leave my woes behind *" "* ample parking day or night * * people spouting "howdy neighbor" * * headed on up to south park * * gonna see if i can't unwind *" "* ( mumbling ) * * come on down to south park * * and meet some friends of mine **" "halloween is a night for evil." "it is time for me to take what is mine." "what do you plan, lord satan ?" "on halloween we shall open the gates of hell... rise up to the earth... and we will rent out the entire w hotel for an awesome party, and invite a bunch of celebrities !" "how big of a party are we talking ?" "have you seen those rich, spoiled teenage girls who have massive sweet sixteen parties ?" "that big." "halloween is about me, and i deserve a party." "this shall be my super sweet sixteen !" "ha ha ha haaaaaa !" "rahgghghgh !" "minions of hell !" "the time has come for us to rise... for my super-sweet sixteen halloween party !" "i got bacardi and kettle one to sponsor the alcohol." "and i'm calling it:" "hell on earth 2006 !" "but now, heed my words !" "in order to get into the party you have to rsvp and get a blue wristband." "everyone is going to try to get into this party so if don't get your wristband in advance, and you're not wearing your wristband at the door, you're not getting in !" "and now know this !" "it's a costume party, so you have to wear a costume, but nobody better show up as 'the crow'." "i'm serious !" "every costume party there's like 14 guys come dressed like 'the crow' cuz they wanna look hot and hook up." "it's lame." "if you come dressed as 'the crow' you're not getting in to the party !" "go now and prepare !" "if you miss my party you are a looooser !" "ha ha ha haaaaa !" "oh boy, a halloween party up on earth !" "i can't believe he got the entire w hotel !" "this is going to be the best halloween ever !" "go ahead kyle, do it." "i'm doing it !" "no, don't do it !" "what's the big deal, kyle ?" "you just look in the mirror." "and say the name three times." "biggie smalls... biggie smalls... see ?" "you're scared." "because you know if you say it a third time he's going to show up and shoot you in the face." "bwok bwok bwok !" "fine, then you do it, you're so tough." "i've done it lots of times." "prove it !" "ha, ha, ha." "biggie smalls. this is dumb, you guys, let's do something else." "you're afraid to do it, too !" "i am not !" "then do it, if you're not yellow !" "biggie smalls." "biggie smalls." "biggie- hey fellas !" "ahghghghghg !" "you should come downstairs." "stan's mom made p-p-pizaa." "come on !" "sure !" "let's go !" "oh my god, i crapped my pants." "you guys, i crapped my pants !" "ha ha-- you guys, guys, check it out !" "satan, i must speak with thee." "what is it ?" "you've invited so many celebrities on earth to your party that people in hell can't get wristbands." "well, i have to invite celebrities or else my party won't be cool." "satan, i warn thee." "do not throw this party at the cost of alienating your friends." "i'm not alienating my friends !" "i know they come first !" "i hope for your sake that's true." "you've never thrown a party of this magnitude before, satan." "be wary." "halloween has always been a time of evil and darkness." "but now it appears that satan will literally be among us." "he is bringing hell here to los angeles and from what we understand... the gathering is going to be... completely off the hook." "there's more... none of us..." "are invited." "none ?" "satan mocks us." "his party must be stopped." "yes, we cannot let evil take over our city even for a night." "what can we do ?" "tomorrow night, after all of satan's guests have arrived we'll call in a complaint about how many people are there." "we'll see how long satan's party lasts." "after the fire marshall shows up." "* that's why i love to brush my teeth * * i love 'em pearly white * * oral hygiene can't be beat * * i truly love to brush my teeth **" "biggie smalls... biggie smalls... biggie smalls." "what the f--k is this ?" "ahghgh !" "hey !" "ahghghgh !" "ahghghgh !" "butters, we told you to be in bed !" "what are you doing ?" "i summoned biggie smalls, the hip-hop rapper !" "you had a nightmare." "turn around and get back in your room right now !" "but dad he's gonna bust a cap in my ass !" "well, you want to get shot or you want to be grounded ?" "ahghghgh !" "honestly, why do you let him watch that darned black entertainment channel ?" "so i want the d.j. to set up over here." "and then the main dance floor area can be this whole area right here." "what about valets ?" "how will people be arriving from hell ?" "oh, it's like a dimensional vortex gate thingie they won't have cars." "but we're probably gonna want security at the dimensional vortex gate." "i want all the servers dressed in skimpy outfits serving all the hor'dourves." "this is getting really expensive." "shut up !" "it's halloween, this is my night." "then at midnight, for dessert i'm thinking over here we bring out a huge chocolate fondue fountain !" "oh yeah, p-diddy has his birthday party here a couple years back, and he had one of those." "oh, screw that, then." "i don't want a fondue fountain if p-diddy had one." "does it matter ?" "yes, it matters !" "i don't wanna do it if diddy did it." "how about a doughnut machine ?" "did diddy do it ?" "diddy did do it." "a full ice cream bar !" "diddy did it." "dammit, what didn't diddy do ?" "!" "wait..." "wait, i know." "yes, it's perfect." "at midnight, all the lights go down, the music stops." "and then we wheel in... a ferrari." "only it isn't a ferrari... it's a cake." "and everyone gets a piece." "a ferrari cake." "diddy didn't do it." "satan, really, the logistics of getting a cake the size of a ferrari made in time-- this party has to be the bomb, don't you get it ?" "when everyone sees the ferrari cake, they will shudder and know my greatness." "hear me, demons !" "lord satan hath demanded a ferrari cake !" "now i will take charge of halloween and call upon the spirits of hell's most evil souls !" "ted bundy !" "jeffrey dahmer !" "and john wayne gacy !" "you shall rise once again to walk the earth !" "for tomorrow is halloween and i need you... to pick up satan's ferrari cake and deliver it to the w hotel." "no problem." "we can handle it !" "heed my words." "satan's entire halloween depends on this ferrari cake." "fail... and you will know his greatest wrath." "you punk-ass fool !" "agh !" "why'd you summon me ?" "p-p-please don't ice me, homey." "you better have a good reason, sucka !" "i just, was seein' if it works !" "dammmm !" "every halloween i gots to deal with this s--t !" "i'm in hell, minding my own business and the next thing i know i'm in some kid's bafroom !" "i apologize, mr. smalls !" "you don't understand, fool !" "i ain't missing the party !" "what party ?" "!" "i already got my wristband, see ?" "you have to get me to los angeles." "wul, can't you just take a plane ?" "!" "how punk ?" "!" "we don't use money in hell, nigga !" "wul, damn nigger, there's gotta be some way !" "this is your fault, homey." "you got to get me to that party in l.a." "or i'm gonna smoke your ass !" "oh, hamburgers !" "yes, yes, satan." "your halloween costume turned out perfect !" "yeah, it's okay." "but everyone thinks zazul's school girl costume is hotter." "ergggg." "zazul, switch costumes with me." "satan, zazul worked really hard on his costume." "nobody can look hotter than me !" "it's my super sweet sixteen halloween party !" "take it off, zazul." "and what about my ferrari cake ?" "where's the ferrari cake ?" "relax, it's being picked up from the bakery." "ohhh, yeah !" "ohhh, yeah !" "ohhh, yeah !" "ohhh, yeah !" "ch-chigga !" "alright, this is the place." "now remember, you numbskulls, this ferrari cake is really important for satan's party." "so don't louse it up." "who's lousing ?" "come here- shut up !" "can i help you ?" "we're here to pick up the ferrari cake." "oh yes, it's just about finished." "what kind of truck are we loading it onto ?" "we got that flatbed." "okay, we're just going to need to-- aahghghghghgh !" "gacy, you numbskull !" "what'd you kill him for ?" "!" "i didn't mean to !" "( smack ) gimme that !" "ooh !" "what's the matter with you ?" "take this." "everything alright ?" "ahghggh !" "you nincompoop, that was the baker !" "he startled me !" "gacy !" "ahggh, ahghgh !" "what'd you kill him for ?" "sit down !" "i'm a victim of circumstance." "who you hittin' ?" "nyak nyak nyak- yahghgh !" "be quiet !" "you idiots !" "now who's gonna help us load the ferrari cake onto the flatbed ?" "did your son say anything before he disappeared mrs. stotch ?" "he just said something about "summoning biggie smalls" ?" "dude." "d-d-d-dude." "dad, dad !" "what ?" "if you look in the mirror and say biggie small's name 3 times he doesn't come get you, right ?" "biggie smalls ?" "you know, "escargot, my car go, 1-18, sipping on booze at the house of blues."" "alright boys, i know it's halloween, but you can't summon dead rappers in the mirror." "how do you know ?" "i'm a geologist !" "he's right, it's just a spooky story." "agh, then how come you couldn't do it ?" "i can do it, just got-- look, it just doesn't matter, because it's not true." "how can we be sure ?" "how do we know butters isn't with biggie right now." "being tormented by him ?" "* i'm going going, back back, to cali cali * uh-uh, yeah !" "* i'm going going back back, to cali cali ** yo', dawg, keep it down !" "yo' dawg, can't i just go right back home after the flight so i don't get grounded ?" "oh no, you summoned my spirit you're getting me all the way to the party." "as long as i get to the party in time to party, everything be alright." "hey !" "...smalls !" "aw, god dammit !" "ahghgghgh !" "it does work !" "holy crap !" "that's it, now i'm pissed !" "( house music cranking' ) hey everybody check out hitler !" "he's the 'can you hear me now' guy !" "yeah !" "oh !" "cahn youeere me now ?" "cahn you eere me now ?" "everyone quiet !" "here he is, the man of the night !" "satan !" "get outta the way, hitler !" "you're ruining my entrance, gaaaal !" "yes, hello... is this the fire department ?" "yeah !" "get em !" "okay, shh-shhh !" "i need to make a complaint to the fire marshall." "he's what ?" "where ?" "!" "damn your evil heart, satan !" "what ?" "the fire marshall is at the party !" "satan invited him !" "satan's trickery knows no bounds !" "that's it." "one way or another, we're crashing this party !" "this is v.i.p." "don't just let anybody into my v.i.p. area, okay ?" "hey, satan, you got a little problem." "what ?" "somebody showed up in a crocodile hunter costume." "it's really offending some of the other guests." "oh jeez." "hey, uh, hi- listen, dude,." "dude, you know the whole crocodile hunter thing." "it's just a little soon, you know ?" "i mean, he just died a few weeks ago and... it's just not super-cool and you gotta leave." "but it's me satan, steve irwin." "i am the crocodile hunter." "oh..." "oh, but then, dude." "no costume, sorry you gotta go." "wait, i thought we were friends !" "oh, hey sinatra !" "demonius, we have a problem !" "what is it ?" "the ferrari cake, it isn't here !" "what- don't even tell me that !" "it was never delivered to the hotel." "zeebob, fetch my blackberry !" "that ferrari cake must get here by midnight !" "3 stooges -ish theme song *" "do you gentlemen need a hand ?" "rahghggh !" "gacy !" "what'd you do dat for ?" "i did it for dahmer !" "for dahmer ?" "yeah, he likes having sex with dead bodies." "dahmer, stop having' sex with them intestines !" "what good are intestines if you can't have sex with 'em ?" "we gotta get ridda this body before anyone sees it !" "now get those to the trash can." "stop eating that !" "leave him alone !" "cut it-- c'mere, ya... ow !" "ummm !" "ummm !" "there !" "oh !" "the cake !" "oh no !" "mmmm, ferrari !" "what's the matter with you ?" "it's ruined !" "we're gonna get it now." "this is a really extravagant party, satan !" "i know !" "but just wait 'til midnight." "you're all not gonna believe what's coming for dessert !" "ha ha ahaaa !" "uh, these aren't the right wristbands." "yes, they are." "then how come they say "knott's berry farm" ?" "in the name of christ just let us in !" "we're really sorry, mr. smalls." "not as sorry as you gonna be if i completely miss the party !" "here you go, flight 72 to los angeles, boarding in ten minutes." "see, you can still make it for the end of the party !" "yeah, i'm just gonna be pissed if i miss-- what the-- no !" "no !" "...smalls, no way !" "motherf-- god damn it !" "that's pretty cool." "hey sharon... cool this, sucka !" "aahggh !" "alright, listen you muggs." "it's now 11:30 that means we only have 20 minutes to bake a new ferrari cake." "no problem, it just so happens i went to an italian cooking school." "yeah, why'd you quit ?" "there weren't enough italians to eat." "( smack ) oooh !" "nyuk nyuk nyuk !" "nyaaa nyaaaaa nyaaa !" "now get over here." "alright, what's the recipe call for first ?" "10,000 eggs." "gacy, go get 10,000 eggs." "you get em." "shut up !" "nyraaaaa !" "ow, oh, a wise guy, eh ?" "ahghghggh !" "how's that ?" "hey, leave him alone !" "ahghhggh !" "nyaaa !" "try that again." "nyaaaa !" "garhg !" "what happened ?" "shut up !" "( gagging )" "( bong !" ")" "he can't do it !" "alright, be quiet !" "biggie smalls... biggie smalls... oh, i can't do it, i'm too freaked out !" "what do we do- it's midnight !" "the ferrari cake never arrived !" "this is terrible !" "it's okay... it's okay, i found a backup." "go ahead and start the ceremony." "( music stops ) your attention please, it is now midnight !" "time for satan's special surprise !" "i wonder what this is going to be." "just you wait." "( engine revving ) yesssss, here it comes !" "ladies and gentlemen a fully edible acura cake !" "acura ?" "but i wanted a ferrari !" "we did the best we could, there was a problem." "acuras are really nice." "it's not the car i wanted !" "the whole party's ruined !" "it doesn't matter, your guests are having fun !" "they don't care !" "it's not about them !" "it's all about meeee !" "( reverberating ) wow, what a jerk." "come on helen, let's just go back to hell." "i'm suddenly not so hungry for acura cake." "oh god, what's happened to me ?" "i've never been this terrible before ?" "by trying to have a party like those spoiled rich teenage girls on mtv." "i've become like one of them !" "satan, don't be so hard on yourself." "you're not as bad as they are." "but i am." "throwing people out, making a big entrance, having these stupid pictures of me all over." "halloween is supposed to be for everyone." "everyone, i'm sorry." "this party is for you." "it's for all of you who make my life so special." "if i don't realize that, then i'm no better than a rich american teenage girl." "( applause building ) open the doors !" "let everyone in- wristband or no !" "we're in !" "alright !" "yea !" "excuse me, ma'am, can i borrow that ?" "biggie smalls, biggie smalls, biggie smalls." "what the-- thanks." "i'm so sick of this-- wait, i'm at the party !" "sure homey, i got your back yo'." "and it's not too late !" "hey, why don't you come in with me !" "what the heck, i'm gonna get grounded anyway- might as well !" "captioning made possible by comedy central captioned by soundwriters*" "oh screw that than. i don't want a fondue fountain if p. diddy had one." "does it matter?" "yes it matters!" "i don't wanna do it if diddy did it." "how 'bout a donut machine?" "did diddy do it?" "diddy did do it." "a full ice cream bar." "diddy did it." "damn it!" "what didn't diddy do?"