"Yes-um?" "Does this sweater make me look fat?" "A little." "I don't get it." "Zelda's clothes usually fit me fine." "Hilda!" "Coffees ready." "A-ha!" "Caught you." "Well I'm kind of hard to miss today." "What's with this sweater?" "I put a spell on my clothes so you wouldn't borrow them without asking me." "A booby-trap!" "You are so sneaky" "You know it makes your legs look really thin." "Huh!" "It rubbed off?" "Yes." "I put a time release on it." "You'll be that way for an hour." "You never did learn to share." "Well I'd be happy to if you'd just learn to ask." "What are they arguing about?" "Like I listen." "Cute sweater." "It's Zelda's." "You might wanna ask her before you put it on." "I'm sure she wouldn't mind." "Look!" "it fits perfectly." "What's happened?" "!" "Oh-no!" "She got you too." "The sweaters hexed!" "Why can't I just live in a normal house?" "Why can't a sweater just be a sweater?" "Poor Sabrina." "Zelda!" "Could you give me a hand here?" "Of course." "1x15." "Hilda and Zelda the teenage years" "Are you kidding?" "I'd love to meet the Violent Femmes." "When?" "Where?" "Well they'll be signing CD's at Music City in Boston tonight at midnight." "Midnight!" "That's perfect." "I have no conflicting plans." "But I still have to ask my aunts." "Just tell them what I told my parents." "It's an astrology field trip." "Don't you mean astronomy?" "Wow, they're paying even less attention than I thought." "This'll be so much fun." "You, me and the Violent Femmes." "You're going to see the Violent Femmes?" "Yeah." "You have to let me come with you." "I will do anything to meet Gordon Gano." "You know I hate this word but..." "Please?" "The more the merrier." "All right, you can come." "Thanks!" "This is so great." "I love the Violent Femmes." "You're going to see the Violent Femmes?" "Can I come too?" "No!" "Jeez Gordie, you can't just invite yourself along." "I thought you just said 'The more the merrier'?" "Twist my words, why don't you." "Look." "It's my car and I say any Femmes fan is welcome." "So Gordie, you're in." "Cool!" "Cool!" "Cool!" "Shotgun!" "Boston?" "Midnight?" "Rock band?" "It sounds kind of dangerous." "Oh but it's not!" "It's totally save." "What's the name of the band again?" "The Violent Femmes." "Which is completely ironic because there aren't even any Femmes in the band, let alone violent ones." "Look." "Maybe if you had some adult supervision." "Hilda and I could go along?" "That'd be the most embarrassing thing ever." "I can't show up with old people!" "Now don't try sweet-talking us." "You know what I mean." "Come on, don't you trust me?" "We do, but there are lots of sicko's out there that we don't." "And there's always peer-pressure which can cloud your judgement." "So in other words." "You trust me but you don't trust me." "I'm glad our position is clear." "You have to let me go!" "Not without adult supervision." "Then I can't go." "You guys ruin everything." "We ruin it because we care." "It's so hard." "I wish there was some sort of compromise." "There must be some way to make us all happy." "She could...!" "No." "Or we could...!" "No!" "Or what if...!" "This stinks!" "If it was up to them I'd stay in my room and never have fun." "I'm a house pet, it's hard for me to sympathise." "Hey!" "Have you checked out the dust bunnies under your bed?" "They're fun." "What?" "There's someone here to see you." "Who?" "Open the door." "Surprise!" "Do I know you?" "Don't you recognise us?" "I'll give you a hint." "That was it." "Oh my god." "What are you guys up to?" "We know you objected to adult supervision but how do you feel about... teenage supervision?" "You'd go with me to the Violent Femmes?" "Yes." "Your friends'll never know and you wont have to be embarrassed." "Just incredibly weirded-out." "Aw!" "This body pinches." "Don't slouch." "So, what d'ya think?" "I don't know." "I mean for one thing your voices do not sound like normal teenagers." "We can change that." "Is this better?" "And how about me?" "Oops, wrong direction." "There we go." "Not bad." "Maybe this could work." "Far-out!" "Swell!" "Ah!" "The word is..." "Cool." "Cool!" "Cool!" "Cool!" "Cool!" "That is so creepy." "What are you doing?" "Harvey'll be here any minute." "I was just making us some snacks." "Hey!" "I can take stairs two at a time." "Is that what you're planing to wear?" "Why not?" "Here, try this." "Hey, don't I look..." "Cool." "Next." "My midriff is showing!" "You're sixteen, it's okay." "I am not leaving this house dressed like a hussy!" "You are or you're not going." "It's Harvey!" "Let's go!" "Now remember." "You're my extremely shy cousins Hilda and Zelda." "Wait!" "No-one would name their kids that." "Okay, you're Hillary and you're..." "Zellary." "Zellary?" "Yeah." "You're parents were hippies." "Go!" "It's very uncomfortable in here." "Yes but we're teenagers." "We don't care." "Can you turn the music down?" "It's a little hard to take." "It's the Violent Femmes." "Oh!" "I love them." "Turn it up." "Hands back on the wheel!" "Ten and two!" "Ten and two!" "Jeez!" "Someone took drivers ed' a little too seriously." "She's right you know." "I'm always saying that to people but they just don't listen." "Fools." "Gordon Gano." "Gordon Gano." "Gordon Gano." "What are you doing?" "Reminding myself why I'm in this clown car." "Gordon Gano..." "Just think." "The Violent Femmes are breathing this same air." "Cool!" "Cool!" "...Cool?" "It's down-right cold, and where are the guys?" "Shouldn't they have parked the car by now?" "And why isn't this bakery open?" "Stop complaining." "This is what we drove here for." "How smart!" "Libby brought a book." "'The Magic Within' Now what's that about?" "I'm going to cast a spell on Gordon Gano." "A spell?" "Like witchcraft?" "Oh please." "That's just twaddle." "This is a self-help book." "It teaches you how to summon your feminine powers." "That's the magic within." "Hence the title." "And if it works, when I meet Gordon Gano he wont be able to resist me." "What d'ya mean?" "Well you'll have to shell out the twelve ninety-five for the details but I learned how to do this thing with my eyes that will bring any man under my spell." "Does it go something like this?" "No." "And I'm not going to waste my powers by showing you." "In fact I'm supossed to start conserving my energy now." "Hey, there they are!" "Who?" "I can't see." "It's Harvey and Gordie." "Man!" "This line is really long." "Wow Libby, you look cool!" "Thanks." "Wait, did Gordie say that?" "He knows nothing about cool." "Oh that is so cute." "I wish I'd brought my camera." "What are you doing?" "Well I thought you might be cold." "Actually I'm-I'm warm!" "In fact I'm even feeling a little flushed." "I'm cold." "Perhaps because I'm barely dressed?" "Oh would you like my scarf?" "Thank you Gordie." "How kind." "Zellary!" "Can I speak to you a moment?" "What are you thinking?" "You just took Gordie's scarf!" "So?" "I'll give it back." "No!" "That means he likes you, and by accepting it, it means you like him." "It's the teenage code!" "It's just a scarf." "You are so naive." "We're moving!" "We're moving!" "We've stopped." "I don't believe it." "How long is this gonna take?" "And Frankly I think it's time for Allan Greenspan to step down." "I couldn't agree with you more." "Well that was a fun conversation." "Now can we talk about anything else?" "Music?" "Cars?" "Food?" "That reminds me, anyone want snacks?" "Yeah!" "I brought carrot-sticks and hard boiled eggs." "My favourite!" "Who taught her what a snack was?" "My legs hurt." "We should have brought chairs." "Y'know, to sit on." "We know what chairs are." "I'm cold." "I wanna go back to the car." "Great idea." "I'll walk you." "Harvey, toss me your keys." "Here you go." "Hey!" "Bad throw." "Let's go." "I can't take the waiting any longer." "I'm going to see what the hold up is." "Boston really seems to have blown your cousins minds." "Yeah, they're not as grown up as they think they are." "Well, at least we're alone know." "Except for the little match girl." "It was very sweet of you to see me back to the car." "I'll make sure to lock the doors when you go back." "I'm not going back." "But... you'll miss the Violent Femmes." "I'd rather be with you." "I wanna know everything." "Let's start with how you got such an unusual name?" "Zellary." "It's not that unusual." "I think it's tantalising, and very poetic." "It rhymes with celery." "Ha-ha!" "You are just delightful." "Excuse me!" "Hi!" "I have a question." "Gas station at the corner." "No." "My friends and I have been waiting for a very long time and I'm feeling a tickle in my throat." "So I was wondering if we could pop in, say hello to the band and go home to bed?" "You mean let you cut-in line?" "I think..." "Andrew Jackson can explain it better than I can." "Hey!" "I don't let anyone cut." "Especially not for a twenty." "But I'm sick of waiting." "Then you'll have two choices." "Continue to wait or go home." "But I... wha..." "Or keep pushing me and you wont get in at all." "Now get back in the line." "I don't like your tone." "I want your badge number." "Move your hand!" "I said get back in line, missy." "Missy!" "Who are you calling missy?" "I'm glad you got cold." "Me too." "All warm!" "We need to talk." "Gordie just asked me to go steady." "I knew it!" "What did you say?" "Well I'm thinking about it." "What?" "!" "I forbid you to date Gordie!" "I mean I'm thing about how to say no." "I don't wanna hurt his feelings." "I warned you about wearing his scarf, but would you listen?" "No." "Maybe you could talk to him for me?" "You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out." "How else are you gonna learn?" "But..." "I..." "Unfair!" "And don't pout aunt Zelda, your face is gonna freeze like that." "Now go let him down gently." "What's going on?" "Well my cousins got a little problem." "Get back here!" "Sabrina!" "Help!" "Isn't that your other cousin?" "Yeah." "Just think about it." "I've got all night." "Excuse me!" "Hi!" "Gas station on the corner." "No." "You have my cousin in your car and I was just wondering..." "Is she in big trouble?" "She stole my badge." "I want it back." "If I could just talk to her I'm sure I could straighten things out." "Fine." "You talk to her, 'cause I don't want to." "So, would you like to tell me what happened?" "No." "I can't help you if you don't tell me." "I didn't do anything." "What's in your hand?" "You know if you give the badge back he'll let you go." "I don't want to." "Aunt Hilda!" "Give the badge back!" "Sir." "Here's your badge." "Okay!" "Bye!" "Don't you have something else to say?" "I'm Sor-ry." "Like you mean it." "I'm sorry." "That's better." "Now go ahead, get back in line." "I'm glad that's over." "We'll talk about this more at home." "Don't!" "The pain is still too fresh." "Did they call Hillary's parents?" "No." "I think I'm cold again." "How are you doing?" "Terrible, these hormones are driving me nuts." "I know." "I forgot how emotional life is when you're a teenager." "No kidding, once was enough." "Lines moving." "Are we getting close?" "Real close." "Watch out!" "Manhole!" "Just kidding." "Alright!" "We're next." "Finally, this is going to make up for everything." "Hi." "On behalf of the Violent Femmes I'd like to thank you all for waiting." "Are we going in?" "Unfortunately the store is now closed." "What!" "What!" "What!" "What!" "Oh boy!" "Can I talk to you a moment?" "Look, I'm sorry about the timing." "You have to let us in." "I mean... talk about violent femmes." "If they don't meet the band there will be four extremely violent femmes, and I'm the one who has to drive them all back to Westbridge along with one love-sick dude." "Do not make me do that." "You know what I'm saying, you've been there right?" "Hartford, Led Zeppelin, nineteen seventy-three." "Go on in." "Thank you." "Really, thank you." "Do you see him?" "Yes!" "There they are!" "I thought they said the last group was the last group?" "No." "I guess the last group was the second to last group." "Now this group is the last group." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for coming." "Put me in front of Gordon Gano." "You are in front of Gordon Gano." "Oh." "Let me summon my magic within." "Thanks for coming." "Aren't you going to look at me?" "Do you have a question?" "Yes." "Which do you prefer, stuffing or potato's?" "Is something wrong with your eyes?" "Should we help her out?" "A half-hour infatuation spell ought to work." "Wow!" "You're fantastic!" "I must know your name?" "Libby Chessler." "Can I play a song for you Libby Chessler?" "If you like." "Guys let's do 'Please do not go' but I have a cramp in my hand." "And we don't have our instruments." "We'll use these!" "Come on, it's for Libby." "One, two, three, four." "This is so..." "Cool?" "Yeah cool!" "I wrote that for you even before I knew you existed." "I thought so." "Happy?" "The car is outside." "We've gotta go." "This can't be it!" "I just met you." "Hey why don't you come hang with us at the Hotel courtesy suite?" "Would you?" "Would you?" "Sure, that sounds like fun." "Great!" "We're at The Copley Plaza." "Bring any friends you'd like." "She said yes!" "It worked!" "It totally worked!" "I unleashed my magic within." "And now we get to go party with The Violent Femmes!" "Not so fast." "Gordon said I could bring anyone I wanted and I'm cool with you and the boys but..." "I'm afraid that doesn't include the Olson twins." "What?" "But they came with us." "We can't ditch them." "They're no fun." "All they did was whine, complain and talk about the Federal Reserve Board." "Frankly they're an embarrassment." "You owe them more than you think." "I owe them nothing." "You ate an egg!" "You're on the verge of cool here." "Don't blow it." "Now are you gonna dump 'em or not?" "No!" "Hillary and Zellary aren't just my relatives, they're my friends and if they don't go, I don't go." "Come on Harvey, Gordie." "If Sabrina's not goin', I'm not goin'" "And if Harvey's not goin' I'm not goin'" "Fine, more classic eighties rockers for me." "I'll take a cab and go alone." "See ya." "We can't let her go alone." "It's not safe." "Someone has to go with her." "Not Harvey; he's our ride." "I've got it." "Gordie, could you do me a favour?" "Anything." "You could sit closer." "Oh not tonight." "Sabrina, can we talk?" "Now's not really a good time." "Maybe next week." "I feel awful." "She was right." "We do ruin everything." "We've gotta make it up to her somehow." "I know!" "W-We could..." "No." "Or what if...?" "Wait." "First I've gotta get out of this body." "Me too." "After you." "Much better." "My turn." "I'll say." "Can we come in?" "I suppose." "Oh good." "You're back to what passes for normal." "Look, we're really sorry we embarressed you." "And we feel we owe you some fun." "So!" "I get to clean the house?" "No, you get to fly." "On a vacuum?" "Yes." "See old time witches used broom-sticks but vacuums are much faster and more efficient." "You're gonna let me fly?" "I don't believe this." "It's true." "You proved tonight that you can handle the responsibility." "And we were very impressed by the way you refused to buckle to peer-pressure." "And most importantly, you called us your friends." "Stop, you're embarrassing me." "Is the bag inflated?" "Check!" "Are you set for low shag?" "Check!" "Then you're all ready for lift off." "Now keep your hands at twelve and six." "Don't flood it." "I wont!" "I wont!" "She's up!" "I'm up!" "This is great!" "Wait!" "You forgot to tell me how to land!" "Just use the magic within." "I'm flying and cleaning the air at the same time." "I think I'll buzz the Copley Plaza." "I thought we were gonna party, not watch stupid cartoons?" "Shhh!" "I missed what Ren said." "He's going to the Muddy Mudskipper show." "I've seen this one three times." "Yeah it really holds up doesn't it." "I can't believe this is what you guys do for fun." "Don't you wanna play more songs for me Gordon?" "Not really." "Are you sure?" "Maybe you should have your eyes checked." "My reserves must be depleted." "Come on Gordie." "Lets go home." "Oh in a second." "This is my favourite part." "Mine too!" "Gordie, you're the coolest." "Unbelievable." "Oh." "Maybe I do need to get my eyes checked." "I can see my house from here." "Hey!" "Hello Sabrina." "How was school?" "Fine." "How's Harvey?" "Oh he's got a bit of a cold." "And Libby?" "Unfortunately she's great." "She wont stop talking about the Violent Femmes." "So everyone's fine?" "Everyone?" "You know you can ask about Gordie if you want." "Well did he say anything about me?" "I m-I-I mean Zellary?" "Yeah!" "As a matter of fact he did." "Really!" "What?" "Let me make sure I get every word exactly right." "He said" "'Tell her I want my scarf back.'"