"prevously on "grey's anatomy... i'm george." "we met at the mixer you had on a black dress strappy sandalsand a slit up the side." "i've had this thing for my roommate since, like, day one." "she's pretty great,you know?" "who's thatch?" "my dad." "thatcher." "she never talks about him." "i'm glad you moved in." "oh, so she moved in with you." "didn't she tell you?" "and what i know now is that when i go into my bedroom, i'm gonna see that my wife is cheating on me with mark who happened to be my best friend." "after careful consideration and many sleepless nights" "(here's what i've decided) there's no such thing as a grown-up." "we move on. we move out we move away from our families and form our own oh, no" "hello?" "no. dr. burke." "yes." "yes, i'll let her know." "that was your landlord." "he wants you to know that there's a minor flood in your apartment." "your other apartment." "but the basic insecurities the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us i'm exhausted." "me, too." "and just when we think that life and circumstance" "(have forced us to truly) once and for all become an adult... i was going at it all night in the on call room." "what's your excuse?" "your mother says something like that mom." "i tell you, that man makes me purr like a kitten." "mom." "when he isn't making me growl like a tiger." "stop." "and my husband wonders why i'm not interested in him anymore." "or worse,something like that if he had any balls at all, he would leave on his own." "no. he plays stupid." "he's waiting for me to kick him out." "i come home with a hickey on my shoulder a hickey, for god's sake like i'm some sex-crazed teenager, which, let's face it,these days, i am," "and what does thatcher do?" "pretends he doesn't see it." "we get bigger we get taller we get older but... for the most part we're still a bunch of kids running around the playground trying desperately to fit in you know, he's acting like i committed a crime," "like my apartment is full of stolen goods." "he's acting like i kept my apartment to hide stolen goods so i could do illegal transplants for money." "are you sure he's not just acting like you lied about moving in?" "okay,what's wrong with you?" "my mommy's a filthy whore." "you have dirty in your eyes." "you have dirty in your eyes." "i'm not doing dirty with you anymore." "it was a one-time lapse in judgment." "well, it was a 4-time lapse in judgment." "well, it's not gonna happen again." "oh. okay." "i'm serious." "we're friends,and it didn't work when we tried to be more than that." "so... as fun as it was, it's not gonna happen again." "stop looking at me." "i'm not looking at you, i'm rounding." "i'm rounding, too." "fine." "fine." "chuck eaton, 54, has stage 3b non-small cell lung cancer with possible invasion of the pleura and a history of c.o.p.d." "he's had extensive chemo-radiotherapy with minimal regression of the tumor." "he's been admitted for radical en bloc resection." "i was a smoker." "the, uh, oncologist... he explained that i have a 25% chance of surviving the, uh, surgery." "well, unfortunately,that's about right." "if you should elect not to proceed, we can make you more comfortable." "with all due respect, uh... there's no way that you can make a man dying a slow death comfortable." "i'll roll the dice." "how do i look today?" "would you say, you know, i look nice?" "you could usea little more lip gloss, but, yes, you're very pretty." "aw, you're mean." "i'm just kidding. you look fine." "seriously, how's my breath?" "george." "would you just talk to her?" "who?" "what?" "good morning, dr. bailey." "hello, baby." "are the o.r.'s up and running?" "uh, yeah,they're fully functional." "uh, except there's some smoke damage to the corridors." "how about you?" "you fully functional?" "i'm fine." "how's your husband?" "taking him home tomorrow." "yes, we are. yes. yes... okay,this is not a tea party." "go. work. save some lives." "now!" "do it now." "jake burton, 15, has advanced craniodiaphyseal dysplasia." "was admitted last night after complaining of headaches." "and he's not a complainer." "he's been havingsome nausea as well." "really, okay?" "may i, please?" "jake, can i get you to sit up, please?" "sure." "all right, okay." "now i want you to look right here for me. thank you." "you know, if you pretend i'm a lion, it helps." "sorry?" "if you pretend i'm a lion instead of a really messed up kid, you get a talking circus animal, which is way easier to look at." "dr. yang, what's our immediate concern?" "uh, that the bony tumors are growing inward and encroaching on his brain." ""invasive non-small cell with a history of c.o.p.d."?" "guy's pretty much a goner, huh?" "sensitivity...i like that in a stranger." "are you new here?" "visiting." "confounded by all the rain, and it's only my first day in town." "you get used to it." "makes me want to stay in bed all day." "we just met, and already you're talking about bed." "not very subtle." "subtle's never been my strong suit." "so... do you ever go out with co-workers?" ":" "i, um, make it a rule not to." "then i am so glad that i don't work here." "are you hitting on me in a hospital?" "would that be wrong?" "meredith." "ow. ah." "what the hell was that?" "that was mark." "punching out people on my surgical floor?" "my head of neurosurgery punching out people on my surgical floor?" "put the ice back on your hand, derek." "my hand is fine." "put the damn ice on your $2-million-a-year hand." "now... would someone tell me what the hell happened?" "that was mark." "who's mark?" "he and derek used to work together back in new york." "and, uh... they were...we were all close friends" "until... derek found us in bed together." "you put your weight behind it?" "yes, sir." "well, all right, then." "what the hell is he doing here?" "i have no idea." "derek and i always did have the same taste in women." "excuse me?" "you're derek's lusty intern, right?" "i heard about you all the way back in new york." "you're famous." "well... i heard about you all the way here in seattle, so i guess we have a lot in common." "we're the dirty mistresses." "i suppose we are." "my $400-an-hour shrink says that it's because behind this rugged and confident exterior i'm self-destructive and self-loathing to an almost pathological degree." "hey, we do have a lot in common." "you know, it's funny." "der... derek walks in on me naked with his wife actually in the throes" "and he just turns around and walks away." "but he sees me so much as talking to you and i'm on the ground bleeding." "interesting, don't you think?" "what do you think you're doing?" "you need stitches." "i know. hold the mirror." "why is he suturing his own face?" "to turn me on." "because he's mark sloan." "he's like the go-to plastic surgeon on the east coast." "that's the guy addison was sleeping with?" "well, you can't really blame her, can you?" "no, not really." "yes, you can." "mcsexy wants an x-ray to check for fractures, and i think it's a bad idea if i take him." "why?" "why?" "i'm on it. why is it a bad idea?" "mcsexy?" "no?" "mm. mcyummy." "no -no." "mcsteamy." "ah, there it is." "yep." "oh, excuse me, i'm just choking' back some mcvomit." "ooh." "i saw her first." "the night she met shepherd, i had her ear." "we talked, and i can't even remember what i said." "you know when you haven't had sex for awhile, you sort of forget how good it is and don't really need it much?" "yeah, that doesn't happen to guys." "it's like a beas... a beast that was asleep for a long,long time." "and now the beast is wide awake and wants to be fed, and the food that alex gave it was... it was good food, george." "something needs to be done about your taste." "ah!" "you're just jealous because you're beast is still asleep." "eh, my beast isn't asleep." "my beast never sleeps." "mr. eaton." "do you need a hand with that?" "um, if you could set up the tripod, that would be very helpful." "are you... what are you doing?" "i'm dying, dear." "one in four... i, uh, i've never done well with odds like that." "some...some people are lucky." "i just never have been." "the camera's for posterity, for saying good-bye." "do you want me to hold the camera for you?" "you're very kind.thank you." "okay, we're recording." "this...this is a message for suzie zelman my...my college sweetheart and...and the love of my life." "suzie... i loved you with my whole heart... and i never would've stopped loving you if you hadn't been the vile whore to ever walk the planet earth." "you deserve that... that drunken imbecile that you slept with and then married." "and when, at the reunion, i..i met your ugly children i knew you had done me a real favor." "i am so deeply happy that i'll never have to see your face again." "love, chuck." "would you please, uh, put in a fresh tape, dear?" "what about that jaw reconstruction you did using a microvascular free transfer from the foot?" "you interested in plastics?" "absolutely." "you might want to consider a transfer to new york or los angeles." "you're not gonna see any heat up here." "well, actually... you ever seen an advanced case of craniodiaphyseal dysplasia?" "lionitis?" "restrained driver in a minor m.v.c." "vitals are stable,but witnesses saw seizure activity behind the wheel." "i really don't think i need to be here." "you should really let us determine that, ma'am." "witnesses said she was screaming, shuddering and--and clamping her jaw." "do you have a seizure disorder that you're aware of?" "epilepsy?" "it's not epilepsy.i don't have any oh, no. oh, god." "it's happening again." "oh, no." "was that a... did she just have a... orgasm." "spontaneous orgasms." "are you sure?" "kinda ha to miss." "ms. calva, i'm dr. montgomery-shepherd." "it's pamela." "since we're gonna be talking about... you know, may as well get familiar." "okay, pamela, can you tell me how long this has been happening to you?" "for a few months, i guess." "how often?" "about, i don't know, seven or eight times a day." "every day?" "uh, dr. stevens." "i'm sorry." "every day?" "yes, every day." "and you haven't seen a doctor about this before?" "it not exactly something you want to cure, is it?" "dr. o'malley sorry." "mum...is it?" "i went to my doctor." "he sent me to a shrink." "and he didn't do any tests?" "pammy,you back here?" "oh, god, no." "you called my father?" "he's your emergency contact person." "pammy, what happened?" "you were in an accident?" "i caused the accident, d." "you had one of your... episodes. yeah." "oh, no." "damn it." "she's a junior at u-dub." "she's a math major." "the last three semesters, she made the honor roll." "high up in the honor roll." "mr. calva, we're gonna... run some tests and we're gonna... we're gonna figure out what's causing your daughter's... episodes." "this right, episodes." "okay." "and when you were 14, you stole laura brendese right out from under me." "you knew how i felt about her." "don't say you didn't know because you knew." "and you went for her anyway." "what kind of human being does that to his little brother?" "he was 14. cut him some slack for god's sakes." "oh, i'm sorry." "i forgot we were recording." "if you wouldn't mind just rewinding a little bit, please?" "i'm a doctor, not a videographer." "and i do need to prep you for surgery." "but you offered to help." "when i thought you were saying good-bye." "i am saying good-bye." "none of these people not one of them knows how i really feel." "my whole life, i've kept it all inside." "i-i don't want to carry this with me to my grave." "you seem like such a nice man." "wouldn't you just rather you remember you that way?" "no." "please rewind the tape." "okay, jake it can get a little cramped in there, so you have to try not to move." "yeah, uh, this is, like, my 50th m.r.i. experience." "right, sorry." "it's okay." "you have really nice eyes, you know?" "well, i'm just sayin' that you're mostly all... all surly and hard core, but your eyes aren't." "i'm really big on eyes." "they're the only part of my face where tumors aren't growing." "yeah, you've got nice eyes." "yeah?" "mm-hmm." "you..you get that... that i'm jailbait, right?" "meredith." "chief." "chief can i ask you something not work-related?" "okay." "do you remember my father?" "of course." "do you know why he left?" "i believe your mother asked him to." "right, but do you know why?" "no." "no, i'm sorry. i don't." "well... have a good day." "thanks. you, too." "dr. yang, book an o.r.please how--how is that possible?" "it's precision work." "it won't be easy, but-- dr. sloan, can i help you with something?" "he says he can fix my face." "he says he can make me look like normal." "what did he say?" "did you hear that?" "did he call him a crack whore?" "why would he call him a crack whore?" "oh, shut up." "i'm trying to read lips." "look, shepherd's gesturing." "big gesturing." "what do you got?" "shepherd and sloan battling it out." "oh, it's gettin' good." "why, what do you got?" "just a woman down in the e.r... having spontaneous orgasms." "wait, wait, wait. wait." "that is not the point." "the point is the kid wants his face fixed and i want to do it." "the point is, you wanna get published!" "well, yeah." "and i'm guessing your chief of surgery does, too." "you know how the press loves a good before and after shot, richard." "call me dr. webber." "derek, out of friendship to you, i would very much love to say no to this jackass." "but as chief-- please don't say it." "dr. sloan, if you can get the parents to sign a consent form... round two goes to the jackass." "which one?" "which one?" "oh, god. oh, no." "oh, no." "oh, it's happening." "doctors,there something you need?" "well, in that case,move on." "no, no" "anyone get what mcdreamy or mcsteamy sees in her?" "she's mchot." "mcyeah, she is." "oh, come on." "you're not even a little bit happy to see me?" "go home. whatever it is you came here to do, just drop it and leave." "hey, we all made mistakes, addison, all three of us..." "mark... but somehow...somehow, i lost my best friend and the woman i loved." "please... don't say that." "he doesn't know how we felt." "he doesn't know you stayed with me after he left." "how do you expect to work out a marriage if you can't even be honest with him?" "why are you here?" "for one reason... to bring you home." "i miss you, addison." "i'm in love with my husband, mark." "but he's not in love with you." "he's in love with that intern, and he's not even trying to hide it." "now why would you want to stick around for that?" "i think you're making it up." "i'm not." "i saw it four times." "what?" "a woman with spontaneous orgasms." "really you're just jealous 'cause you didn't see it yourself." "oh, i totally am." "spontaneous orgasms, really?" "you look really nice today." "any chance they're contagious?" "spontaneous orgasms." "it's that would solve so many problems." "it would. it would." "i think you smell nice, too." "you know, it's like, you see someone throw up, it makes you want to throw up too." "kinda like that?" "kinda like." "you know what?" "i'm not hungry." "do you hear me?" "i'm not hungry." "neither is the beast." ""the beast"...is that, like, some sly reference to your penis?" "get your mind out of the gutter, crack whore." "no, it's not alex's penis." "it's...you know when you haven't had sex for a long time and you forget how good it is, and so you want it less?" "yeah, that doesn't happen to me." "me either." "me either." "i grew my hair for her,and... i know." "i don't even think she's noticed." "you could just try telling her how you feel." "um, guys?" "she's moving, like, a lot." "pamela, you have to hold still." "okay." "that's not helping the beast sleep, is it?" "no." "no, it's not." "you're drawing the medial to the tumor." "yeah, -it's a guideline for what the bone structure should be." "hear that?" "i'm gonna have bone structure." "jake... so what do you think,am i a dal?" "or more of a picasso?" "could you stop doing that for a minute, please?" "jake... jake... i'm sorry." "this surgery,the brain surgery, is very dangerous." "no, don't say that." "y-you don't get to change your mind." "you know, i know dr. sloan has made you some big promises, but the bony tumors inside your skull are bad." "i don't care." "the bleeding will be hard to control." "i'm not trying to frighten you," "i just want you to under-- -i do understand." "i understand that this has nothing to do with the plastic surgery." "so if i'm gonna be under the knife anyway, then- the plastic surgery could- sorry to interrupt-- what you need to understand-- excuse me." "jakes actually right." "no reason to put him through a second surgery and a second round of anesthesia." "it's much safer just to do it all at once." "honey, we just want to focus on keeping you alive." "mom, i-i almost died when i was 10 years old." "and then again when i was 12." "and then again last year." "but...but but i'm still alive." "i'm still alive, so i say we go for it." "jake... look, i know that you think i'm perfect just the way i am-- but that's your job to do that." "but... for once in my life, i'd like to think that someone else thought that." "please." "please." "you've given up surgery to go into clerical work?" "i'm fulfilling a patient's dying wish by sending hate mail to everyone he's ever met." "yeah, right now i understand the impulse." "me, too." "why do people cheat?" "that's a good question." "why do you think she cheated on you?" "were you different then?" "were you a bad husband?" "i was, uh... oh, i was just a little...absent." "not that that's an excuse for her." "do you think things would've been different if you'd had kids?" "do i think she wouldn't have cheated?" "i don't know." "all right, man, jake's ready to roll." "i'm sorry." "did i interrupt something?" "no. it's fine." "pamela, you should really try and relax." "i am trying to relax." "the episodes happen when i don't relax." "do you really think you can fix this?" "i, uh, i hate to be insensitive, but... would it be the worst thing ever if we can't?" "i mean... you know, i like sex as much as the next girl, like in bed or even in private." "but when you can't go to the movies or drive a car or go to church with your parents... oh, my god." "you know that dream where you show up at high school and you're naked?" "yeah." "yeah, well, i would really, really like to wake up." "it's crossed the intrathoracic fascia?" "i'm afraid so." "i'm gonna have to go into the chest wall." "he made 17 hate tapes." "i'm sorry?" "videotapes of himself telling people how much he hated them spewing every hurt feeling he ever had." "and he mailed them?" "no." "he wanted me to, but i don't think it's a good idea." "he was scared." "he was in shock." "he wasn't thinking clearly." "that's not for you to decide, dr. grey." "he asked you for something, and you told him you would do it." "if you don't, that doesn't make you noble." "it makes you a liar." "did you know she kept her artment?" "yeah.i did. sorry." "and now... dr. shepherd" "is opening the skull-cap." "is it harder to get" "through the bony tumors?" "that's what he's doin'." "yes, he is." "basin.this idone." "cottonoid." "give me the sponge." "oh, son of a bitch all right hang another unit of blood." "oh i got somebody change that bag of blood, please." "that's too much blood." "put it in the pressure infuser." "no carotid." "we've got v-fib." "start c.p.r. and bag him." "paddles.get the paddles." "he's losing a lot of blood." "someone get f.f.p." "charge to 200." "charging." "clear." "shame he never had his face fixed." "dr. sloan." "yeah." "all right." "i got the parents' approval." "you don't...really need those." "oh, right." "scalpel." "mr. eaton, can you hear me?" "oh, god." "no, no, don't try to sit up." "you're gonna be in pain for some time." "but i'm pleased to report that we removed the entire tumor." "wait, i'm--i'm alive?" "yes, sir." "you are alive." "my--my tapes?" "would you like me to throw them away?" "no." "i'd like you to mail them." "i-i have to say my piece." "sometimes a man has to say his piece." "mer... uh, do you want-- uh, i want to take you out for a drink tonight." "and not--maybe not joe's." "maybe someplace where we can talk." "yeah, there's something i need..i want... to talk to you about." "it's important." "it's... i don't want to make videotapes on my deathbed, george." "she had an affarie" "y-yes." "why didn't you stay and fight for us?" "i did. i...i tried." "why didn't you try harder?" "you just left." "meredith... is there anything that you need?" "a...anything at all?" "no." "i don't need anything from you." "hey." "i haven't see you all day." "i didn't want to see you today." "it's not my fault he showed up, derek." "i know." "don't beat yourself up-- i'm gonna take the stairs." "oh, come on.derek." "how come you can forgive her but not me?" "i didn't forgive her, and with you i have no obligation to try." "your marriage is over,addison." "all you have to do is admit it." "then you can come back home with me." "i'm goin' to the bar across the street." "meet me there." "he looks... peaceful." "he does." "i am preston burke, a widely-renowned cardiothoracic surgeon." "i am... a professional." "and more than that, i am a good and kind person." "i am person that cleans up behind myself." "i am a person that cooks well." "and you...you are an unbelievable slob." "a slovenly, angry intern." "i am preston burke." "and you...you are the most competitive most guarded, most stubborn most challenging person i have ever met." "and i love you." "what the hell is the matter with you that you won't just let me?" "i gave up my apartment 20 minutes ago." "well, all right, then." "i've heard that it's possible to grow up." "i've just never met anyone who's actually done it dr. stevens, after the surgery, will i still be able to... when i want to, will i still be able to have... you know... episodes?" "even better, pamela... you'll be able to have orgasms." "without parents to defy we break the rules we make for ourselves... we throw tantrums when things don't go our way... hey." "she doesn't hear me." "what?" "she doesn't even hear me when i talk." "she will if you make her." "you fed the beast, didn't you?" "twice." "i'll see you later." "bye." "we whisper secrets withour friends in the dark... meredith came to saw me today." "hmm. poor baby." "poor thing." "her father left, you know?" "i think she knows about us, ellis." "i think she's figured it out." "she's 5 years old,richard." "we look for comfort where we can find it... this seat taken?" "i guess not." "double scotch, single malt." "you look sad." "i just saw my father for the first time in 20 years." "how'd that go?" "it coulda gone better." "what are you still doing here?" "i'm hoping addison shows up." "you're still in love with her?" "you're still in love with him." "she won't show, you know?" "no?" "he's not the kind of guy you leave if you can help it." "what if you're wrong?" "what if, just this once, life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?" "and we hope... against all logic against all experience." "like children... we never give up hope." "come in." "i know i'm not a world-renowned surgeon." "and i know i'm not a lot of things that you've gone for in the past." "i know." "but... i would never leave you." "i would never hurt you." "and i will never stop loving you."