"One frazzled Friday, four girlfriends came from four different directions:" "the East Side, the West Side," "Park Avenue and Samantha." "It was the ultimate power lunch, also known as the power catch up." "I'll start." "I can sum up my life in one breath." "Work, work, Au Bon Pain, work." "And you?" "Let's see." "Aidan, Aidan, this pimple, Aidan." "We don't need an hour." "I cannot believe you made these." "I love you not working." "You can be my wife." "I thought I'd have more free time, but decorating is stressful." "There are 40 kinds of dimmers." "Remember when the economy was good and we had a table?" "Are you a janitor now?" "I know, it's ridiculous." "I need seven to get in Aidan's building." " He gave you his keys?" " Yes, but I make him come to mine." "He buys two-in-one shampoo." " Does he have your keys, too?" " All two of them." " You exchanged keys?" "That's big." " That's the opposite of Big." "Good for you." "It took me six months to give my cleaning lady a key." "I happen to have the key to a lasting relationship right here." "1,001 sexual positions." "I got it on the corner, $1.50." "I love this city!" " Whose legs bend back that far?" " It's like sex for the boneless." "That's what I love about this guy Nick I'm seeing." " He's de-boned?" " He's the wrestling coach at NYU." "He's like a rubber band." "Congregants, please refer to position 91 in your prayer books." "And let us say amen!" "I came home to find Aidan in the most shocking position of all:" "cooking to the oldies." "You're deflowering my pristine kitchen." "Fajitas!" "Carrie, meet my George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine!" " George, Carrie." " Charmed, I'm sure." " What you doing back there?" " Just looking for something." " Not in front of George." " Leave George out of it." "That's it." "You're going down!" " What about the fajitas?" " Fuck the fajitas!" "If giving a man your keys means unlocking the door to home cooking and great sex, why were so many independent women..." "It's not done yet." "Don't read it." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "Come back." "What is this?" "Why is this happening?" "My computer just crashed, right in the middle..." "Just relax, darling." "Breathe and reboot." "That always works on my computer." "Let's get your manual out." "I don't have a manual." "I got rid of it in a feng shui attack." " I want to kill myself!" " Hang in there, sugar." "This thing's just faking you out." "Aidan, please." "Stop touching it." "Stop it!" "You don't know what you're doing!" "We rushed my '98 laptop in my '99 Pashmina to Tekserve." "Can you please not do that?" " 64?" " God!" "Come on." " Number 64!" " Yes!" "Hi." "Thank God." " Please tell me that you can fix this." " We tried a few home remedies." "One at a time." "Which one of you crashed?" "I did." "It's mine." "It's mine, but he did something." " Tell him what you did." " I hit Ctrl Alt Delete." "That only works on PCs." "You a PC user?" "Then you're not compatible." "Tell me exactly what happened right before you crashed." "I was just typing." "He came over and kissed me and then I got the bomb." "Not "the bomb"." "Not the good kind." "Do you think that this is funny?" " I'm just trying to..." " You are mortifying me." "When was the last time you backed up your work?" " I don't do that." " You don't back up?" "Anything else before we go in?" "Yes." "A mean little man popped up with 'X's where his eyes should be and his tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth." "He didn't have a tongue." "That's a Sad Mac." "You should have told me that before." "Why?" "What does that mean?" "It could be your motherboard, could be bad RAM." "We'll keep it here, run some tests." "I'm Dmitri." "I'll call you if we find anything." "If?" "78!" "Number 78." "What if everything I've ever written is gone?" "When did you last back up?" "No one talks about backing up." "You've never used that expression before." "But apparently everybody's secretly backing up their work." "Where are you?" "At the hospital in Philadelphia." "My mom had a heart attack." "Oh, my God!" "And you let me go on about my stupid computer?" "That's very upsetting." "Is she OK?" "How could you go without telling me?" "I had to hurry." "I didn't know how bad it was till I got here." " How bad is it?" " They keep telling us different things." "She's pretty out of it, but she woke up long enough to veto my lipstick." "Is there anything I can do?" "I'll come and keep you company." "No, it's fine." "I'm fine." "Miranda, the doctor's waiting." "Don't use that cell phone in the hospital." "She called me!" "Now my sister's mad at me." "I've got to go." "You'll keep me posted, right?" "Meanwhile, Charlotte's afternoon was filled with ovulating and decorating." "She was 12 days into her cycle and three rooms into her lighting project." "She had become a bona fide dimmer expert." "Samantha called in a bona fide positions expert who came fully equipped." "It turns out a half-nelson was very much like position 411." "One half-nelson, one full orgasm." " It's me." "I'm sorry to wake you." " That's OK." " My mom died." " Oh, my God." "She was stable last night and we all went home." "Then they called and said she was crashing." "By the time we got back, she had died." "Miranda, I'm so sorry." "I just wish we hadn't gone home." "Nobody wanted to, but they told us to get some sleep." "I'm sure that she knew on some level that you were with her." "But I wasn't with her." "Nobody was." " What can I do?" " Nothing." "I'm fine." "I'll be fine." "The funeral's on Tuesday and I don't have anything to wear." "I didn't think I'd be going to a funeral." "I'll be there." "I'll bring something from your apartment." "Don't bother." "I'm going to go out and buy a shitty black dress I'll never wear again." " I'd be happy to do it." " No, don't do anything." "I'd better go." " Miranda, I'm so sorry." " Thanks." "I've got to go." "Miranda's mother died." " Come here." "You OK?" " I'm fine." "Do you know when the funeral is?" "I'd like to go." "I don't know." "You don't have to." "I don't really know." "Where have you been?" "Where's Miranda?" "I'm starving." "What's wrong?" "Miranda's in Philadelphia." "Her mother had a heart attack." "She died early this morning." "She wasn't even sick." "I can't believe it." "Poor Miranda." "How is she?" "I don't know." "She's not good." "I just felt so awful for her and I..." "I didn't know what to say." "You know Miranda." "She was trying to be so strong, but she sounded so alone." "I kept saying all the wrong things." "No, I'm sure you didn't." "I'm sorry." "The first thing we should do is send some flowers." "Or a fruit basket." "Or muffins." "What do you think?" " Are you all right?" " What?" "I'm fine." "Flowers are fine." "Just tell me who to send the cheque to." "I'm just hungry." "Charlotte showed her support for Miranda by becoming the Martha Stewart of death." "I want the clear Cellophane and the navy ribbon." "Samantha, have you called Miranda?" "She thinks that it would be faster to take the train." "We're going to the funeral?" "I thought we were just sending flowers." "Of course we're going." "You should call her." " She'd really like to hear from you." " But what am I going to say?" "You could say, "I'm so sorry for your loss." ""l love you." "I'm here for you." That's enough ribbon!" ""You're in my thoughts." "May she rest in peace..."" "Fine, I'll call her." "Goodbye." "In times of sorrow, some people have trouble reaching out." "Samantha wasn't one of those people." "Want to wrestle?" "Keep doing that!" "Keep doing that!" "But today, something was just out of reach." "So they tried another position, 299." "I'm almost there." "Just hang on one more second." "One more second!" "Hang on." "Hang in there." "Stay with me." "Stay." "Just like that." "Just like that." "Get them off me!" "You're distracting me." "When none of those worked, they went back to old faithful, number 17." "OK, now, that's it." "Now we got it." "Here we go!" "Home free!" "Just keep doing exactly what you're doing, exactly what you're doing." "Exactly what you're doing." "Don't stop." "Don't stop." "Don't stop." "Don't stop." " Don't stop!" " I have to be at the cleaners' by five." "OK, stop." "Make it very clear to the Philadelphia florist." "Tasteful." "All white." "Casablanca lilies, Calla lilies and phalaenopsis," " I don't want any crap." " You told her." "These flowers will be on the altar." "It's important that they represent us." "I don't know." "I'm not even listening." "I lost my orgasm." " In the cab?" " What do you mean?" "I spent the last two hours fucking with no finale." " Sometimes you just can't get there." " I can always get there." " Every time you have sex?" " She's exaggerating." "Please say you're exaggerating." "I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes: when I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come." "I've been a no-show on more than one occasion." " Sex can be great without an orgasm." " That is a crock of shit." " She has a point." " What's wrong with me?" "Listen." "You've got plenty of orgasms under your belt." "You're going to be fine." "Let's retrace your steps." "Were you on top?" "How is that relevant?" " You can have them on the bottom?" " Top, bottom, upside down." " Now you're showing off." " I'm asking for help!" "I'm sure it will pop up when you least expect it," "like..." "...jury duty." " Unless..." "What?" "I read an article about a woman who had orgasms all the time." "Then, boom!" "Orgasms stopped." "For good." "It was like she had used them all up." "That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me." "Meanwhile in Philadelphia," "Miranda needed a shitty black bra to go with her shitty black dress." "Can I help you?" "No, I'm looking for this in 36A in black." " You don't look like a 36A to me." " Well, I am." "Excuse me?" "Lucille?" "I've been a 36A my whole life." "I know what size I am." "I didn't think so." "Try these." " There is no way that I'm a 34B." " Just try them." " How's it going in there?" " Fine." "Everything's fine." "From the age of 14, Miranda had a no visitors policy in dressing rooms." "How's that working out?" "Her mother never observed it." "Neither did Lucille." " I don't need any help." " You say you don't, but you were picking the wrong size." "This one fits you." "I can adjust my bra straps by myself." "Please get your hands off my breasts!" "I'm not being fresh." "I think I know what's best." "No, you don't!" "I think that I know what's best for me." "Suddenly, Miranda realised she would never fight with her mother again." "I'm sorry." "It's not you." "My mother just died and..." " Come here." " No, I'm fine..." "There behind the curtain," "Miranda found a kind of support that actually fit her." "This is perfect." "You were right." "Thanks." "Wait." "Wait!" "You're always sneaking up on me." "Surprise!" "It's your new computer." " It's blue." " It's more fun than your old one." "It's like a little purse." "That's a very expensive purse." " When did you get that?" " Today." "And I got you one of these zip drives." "So you can back up your work." "I don't even know how to use that and I don't need it." "My own system works fine." " Right!" "Are you sure about that?" " Yes, I am." "I'm not ready for a new computer." "I'm waiting to hear about my old one." "My whole life was on that computer." "I get it." "It's all you." "I'm not part of this." "You don't want the laptop." " You don't want me at the funeral." " I gave you my keys!" "Your keys?" "Great!" "Now I can get into your front door!" "How do I get into there?" "I'm sorry, but I've been taking care of myself a long time." "You may not like it, but this is how I deal with things." "Here's your receipt." "You can do what you want with that computer." "Meanwhile, Samantha was troubleshooting her own laptop." "She was determined to just relax, unwind and let the rest of the world fall away." "What?" "I'm picking up bagels for the train." "You're sesame, right?" " Have you called Miranda yet?" " No, I have whole-wheat." "I haven't called her because I don't want to bother her." "Charlotte, I'm masturbating." "I told you I'd be doing that all day today." "By nightfall, Samantha called off the search party." "Somewhere in the city of lost dreams and missing persons," "Samantha's orgasm remained at large." "Next morning, my own search party called with news of a breakthrough." "You remember me?" "I'm number P438W." "You have my computer." "Here's what we could recover from your hard drive." "Look familiar?" "There it was." "My past." "It was a mess." "Can you tell me why this happened in the first place?" "We don't know." "Sometimes these things crash." "We can replace your motherboard, but you have to get a backup system." "Pick out a zip drive, start saving." "Then you won't lose everything." "You saved your warranty, right?" "It's me." "The girl who doesn't back up." "This is my attempt to breathe and reboot." " Are you smiling at all?" " I'm listening." "I'm just on my way to Philly." "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." "This is hard." "We're going to run into stuff that's hard." " That's why I was trying to help." " I know, but..." "If you start helping me and then I get used to having that help..." "No good can come of that." "What happens when you're not around one day?" " Where am I going?" " I don't know." "You could be out of town or be busy." "Things fall apart." "We could fall apart." " I know that." " Then what?" "Then I guess we'd be a couple of Sad Macs." "Philadelphia." "Just a hop, skip, cab, a Metroliner and another cab away." "I'm not going to find my orgasm in this town." "We're at a funeral!" "I'm so sorry." "I'm so sorry." "You look great." "Well, she does." " How are you?" " I'm fine." "But everybody is concerned about me because I'm here alone." "I didn't realise I needed a date for my mother's funeral." "My sister and her husband want me to walk with them down the aisle." "God forbid I should walk it alone." "That would be the real tragedy." "Ignore the coffin." "There's a single, 35-year-old woman walking behind it!" "Coming, Betsy." "This is hard." ""You look great" was not one of the things I told you to say." "Excuse me, Betsy?" "I'm Charlotte." "We spoke on the phone." "I wanted to say again how sorry I am and to make sure the flowers worked out." "Yes, thank you." "In fact, there they are now." "I said tasteful!" "Now we know what $500 worth of glitter looks like." "Death is the eternal mystery." "It defies our comprehension." "There are no explanations, no answers, no magic words to soothe us." "You're a spiritual leader." "Make it up." "The flowers were supposed to say, "We're so sorry." "We love you", not "You're dead." "Let's disco!"" "...from her daughter Betsy and her husband David, her son John and his wife Miranda, her daughter Catherine..." "Did he just say...?" "No spiritual stuff and he can't keep the family tree straight?" "This guy's a hack." "After the burial," "John and his wife Miranda invite you back to their home." "Directions can be found as you exit the sanctuary." "I'm sorry." "Thank you." "Finally Samantha found the release she needed." "She cried for what she couldn't say and didn't even know she felt." "There's the kind of support you ask for and the kind you don't ask for." "And then there's the kind that just shows up." "After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart." "The best we can do is breathe and reboot." "And when that fails, a zip drive can provide a surprising amount of comfort." "So can a boyfriend if you can learn to let him."