"[KRAFT SIGHS]" "What is this obsession you young people have with joy?" "I blame the media." "Well, final examinations are just around the corner, young man, and you cannot afford to waste one minute on this hedonistic frolicking." "Oh..." "Maybe I should study." "I didn't understand a word he said." "Buy a candy bar to help with the janitor's hip replacement?" "Aren't you trespassing on government property?" "No." "I'm here to inform you that you can expect a very big witch exam sometime soon." "Does it involve changing the Earth's orbit?" "Because the last time I tried that a little thing called El Niño happened." "Well, I can't tell you when, but I can tell you where." "KRAFT:" "I don't know why they can't accept the misery that should be their lives." "Class trip to Florida." "We're going to Disney World!" "[CHEERING]" "Put them up!" "Put them up!" "Put up your feet and watch our show." "[GRUNTS]" "I am so glad we're chaperoning this trip to Disney World." "I love Splash Mountain more than life itself." "What's your favourite part?" "There's a paleontological dig at the new Animal Kingdom Theme Park, and it just sounds fascinating." "Only you could make the happiest place on earth sound dry and clinical." "I like bones." "They're fake." "Disney?" "Remember?" "I know that." "But I also happen to know that the area was inhabited by real dinosaurs at one time." "If they were alive today, they'd ride the rides." "Well, we should get to the airport." "Salem, we're leaving." "Don't forget to feed the cat." "Ha, ha." "I love saying that." "Ha-ha-ha." "Where is the cat, anyway?" "Well, it's 9:00." "He's probably upstairs watching Regis." "[CHUCKLING]" "I can't believe we're here." "VALERIE:" "This is so exciting." "Ha." "HARVEY:" "I know." "You think Mr. Kraft has a brain lesion?" "Why is it that cool people never show any emotion?" "I mean, no matter how great the situation," " they never seem like they have fun." " I know." "Why can't I be like them?" "Because you have blood in your veins." "From now on I'm gonna be cool." "I'm gonna hide how much fun I'm having." "Uh, Room 346:" "Spellman and Birkhead." " You are roommates." " Yes, yes, yes!" "Yes." "Don't do that." "I wish I were a cool person so I could make fun of me right now." "So I told Harvey we'd meet him in front of the Tree of Life." "Okay." "Then we should go to Harambe, Africa." "It's in the deepest, darkest part of the continent." " Right next to the gift shop." "Heh." " Heh." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "MAN:" "Room service." " I didn't order anything, did you?" " No." " Hey." " Oh, wait, I did order something." "Um..." "You know what?" "Why don't, um, you go ahead, and I'll meet up with you and Harvey right after I finish my liquorice." "Okay." " I only like red." " Who said it's for you?" "Now, okay, here's your exam:" "You're on a survival mission." "You have to brew a potion capable of turning yourself into an animal, and another potion that will turn you back." "I already know how to do that." "You have to do it without the use of your finger." "Okay, now you're not getting a tip." "It's in case you're lost in an unknown land, your fingers are broken, and you need to become an animal in order to survive." "How many witches has this happened to before?" "One." "And Slow Bob has never been the same since." "Now, here's your list of required ingredients." "Mostly plants." "Tropical plants," " which would explain Florida." " Exactly." "Now, you only have until the end of today to complete this critical test." "You fail it, and you won't get your witch's license." "That means no rides." "Great." "Well, why don't you just take me to Paris and not let me eat the food?" "VALERIE:" "This is amazing." "This tree has 325 animals carved into it." "HARVEY:" "One of them looks like Ed Asner." "[VALERIE CHUCKLES]" "I wonder where Sabrina is." "How much room-service liquorice did she order?" "Never mind." "Hey, Harvey." "You sure look nice today." " Thanks." " Especially by comparison." "Libby, the Jungle Cruise wants its shrunken head back." "Oh, I'm sorry, that's your actual head." "How does it feel being unpopular in a tropical setting?" "So ready to explore?" "Actually, there's been a little change on that front." "See, I suddenly realised that I forgot to do a report on plants for science." "I'm in that class." "We don't have a report." "Did I say plants for science?" "I meant government." "I'll just do a little foraging and catch up with you later, okay?" "See you." "I'm in that class too." "Okay." "So we'll spend 15 minutes digging for bones at the dinosaur place, and then the rest of the day on the rides, right?" "That's not the plan, and you know it." "Well, it should be." "Uh, excuse me, but aren't you two forgetting something?" "Salem, we're still mad at you for stowing away." "You are not going anywhere." "Besides, cats aren't even allowed in the park." "W" " What?" "Oh, we'll try to bring you a souvenir." "Yeah." "I think it's time you started collecting spoons." "I should have known Disney wouldn't be cat-friendly." "Why else would the star attraction be a giant mouse?" "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "WOMAN:" "Housekeeping." "Fried park food, here I come." "KRAFT:" "Ms. Spellman." "Do you mind telling me what you are doing trespassing on park property?" "Uh, looking for the ice machine?" "Heh." "Do you realise that instead of standing here in the hot sun, we could actually be flying through the air on Space Mountain, barfing our guts out?" "ZELDA:" "Oh, my gosh." "Look what I just found." "Styrofoam from the late '80s?" "No." "It's a real bone from some sort of beast." "I've just discovered the femur of a creature that lived millions of years ago." "Wow." "You can't top that." "So let's stop trying." "Sabrina?" "Still looking for the ice machine?" "Uh, nope." "Found it." "Delicious." "Far be it for me to question the Walt Disney corporation, but that does not seem convenient." "This kind of discovery could put me in the history books." "Are you going to alert the media?" "No." "I'm going to get bug spray." "Although a mosquito bite is starting to sound exciting." "Have you noticed that Sabrina is nowhere to be seen, and Harvey's all alone?" "Well, except for that girl." " Valerie?" " Whatever." "Girls." "I think it's time I made my move on him." "I'll just hang around awkward little Valerie and work my magic on Harvey." "GIRLS [IN UNISON]:" "Go for it." "LIBBY:" "Hey, guys." "Not if I work my magic first." "You can't make a move on him if you can't find him." "Where did Harvey go?" "Where did he go?" "Karibuni." "I'm Harvey, and I'll be your guide as we tour the Harambe Wildlife Reserve." "[ANIMAL SOUNDS PLAYING]" "Keep your arms inside the vehicle, and enjoy the ride." "And if anyone has a pacemaker or smells like fresh meat, let me know." "You sure you don't know where Harvey is?" "Trust me." "I'd rather be wherever he is, than standing here uncomfortably waiting for him." "Hey, maybe he went to the riverboat ride." "That's what we planned to do next." "Well, great." "I'll come with you." " But I'll be there." " Heh." "That's okay." " We can all share a seat." " Really?" "Try to remain calm." "Whatever." "Hey, wait up!" "There you are, you little star aster." "Sabrina, I have had just about enough of these shenanigans." "Now" "You'd think they'd have more bathrooms around here." "Hey." "Want to see the personalised souvenir mug I got you?" "They didn't have "Zelda" so I got "Pam."" "I've got to find out more about this bone." "Of this bone There is much in doubt" "So of yourself Tell me all about" "That poem is so bad you could get a grant." "BONE:" "Ah, ah, ah, ah." "Hey, it talks." "My prehistoric's a little rusty." "Can you make out what it's saying?" "I think it means "bone cold."" "Well, now we know the phrase "duh" dates back to prehistoric times." "That was so scary." "I know." "I was sure we were gonna crash and die at the Dragon Rocks." "Really?" "You covered it well with your screaming." "[BOTH LAUGHING]" "Where's Harvey?" "That's amazing." "I was just wondering the same thing." "HARVEY:" "We are now approaching hippo river." "The hippopotamuses are among the most aggressive animals in the jungle." "Fortunately, our Harambe therapists are working with the hippos to channel that anger." "[ANIMALS GROWLING]" "I hope this is the way to the frozen-banana stand." "Heh." "What's that?" "Big pink bird!" "Don't panic." "Remain calm." "Everything's under control." "Nothing to be afraid of..." "[GASPS]" "Run away!" "Hey, after it stops raining let's go to the African village." "We can get our picture taken with a real-life poacher." " Great." " Hey, Valerie and Libby." "Where's Harvey?" "Don't you know where he is?" "I thought he was your good friend." "Oh." "Yeah, of course I know where he is." "I mean, he's obviously staying away from you." "Why are you hanging out with her?" " She wanted to hang out with me." " No, seriously, why?" "Because she wanted to." " Wow." "You are serious." "VALERIE:" "Yeah." "Wanna come?" "No, I haven't finished my report yet." "Some jerk with a leaf blower came by, and I lost half my work." "ZELDA:" "Hmm." "Maybe I should give him more consciousness." "Zelda, do the words "going overboard" mean anything to you?" "[GRUNTING]" "Oh." "Quickly, Hilda, what's he saying?" "Uh, his name is Tootie, and he wants to know if you stole his nanwama, which is either "shoes" or "wife."" "[CHATTERING]" "Oh" " Uh-oh, we're beginning to attract attention." "We better take him back to the hotel room so we can study him further." "All right, but you're asking the management for the rollaway bed." "Witch-hazel, shaved coconut." "I hope it doesn't matter I got it from the ice-cream stand." "Palm frond" "[SALEM BANGS ON DOOR AND GROANS]" "SALEM:" "Help!" "Let me in!" "Oh..." "[PANTING]" "Salem, what's wrong?" "I just narrowly escaped death by winged beast." " No, you didn't." " I'm telling you," "I was savagely attacked by a pterodactyl." "Is that decaf?" "No." "It's the first potion for my quiz." "I need more plants for the second potion, but I thought I'd brew up this batch first." "Hi." " So where's Libby?" " In the lobby." "You two think you're gonna be hanging out the rest of the day?" "Probably." "Is that so strange?" "A little." "I think she's up to something." "Oh, I guess she couldn't be hanging out with me on the off chance that she likes me." "I mean, no way I could ever be popular." "So now you're seeing my point." "I'm trying to look out for you." "By insulting me?" "Look, you just can't admit that I have the ability to be cool." "And I do." "I'm being cool right now." "Well, I'm just saying that I wouldn't trust Libby." "But if you want to, fine." "I have more foraging to do." "[SIGHS]" "She brought her cat?" "Hi." "Ooh." "Fresh-brewed tea." "I bet Libby would love some iced tea." "SALEM:" "Not a good idea." "[KRAFT CLEARS THROAT]" "Ladies and gentlemen, this is a school-funded field trip, not an excuse to have fun." "Oh, I almost forgot." "I got us some iced tea." "I think it's herbal." "Valerie, where is Harvey?" " I don't know." " You keep saying that." "It's because I keep not knowing." "No, ma'am, the impalas we're going to see are antelopes with red coats, not American-made sedans with front-wheel drive." "WOMAN:" "What about the falcons?" "Yes, it's the same situation with the falcons." "Hey, let's visit the Gorilla Falls Trail." "[LIBBY SCOFFS]" "Iced tea?" " Ew." " Sorry." "Ugh." "The only reason I'm even standing close to you is" "Those zebras aren't supposed to..." "Oh, get a hold of yourself, Willard." "Uh-oh." ""Property of Sabrina Spellman."" "I knew it." "This weird trip, that ice machine, those zebras." "I..." "I" " I have a sick headache." "Mm." "Ah, macadamia nuts from the minibar." "Especially tasty when they're your third jar and someone else is paying for them." "[GASPING]" "Some squirrels broke in." "I'm just tidying up." "Back so soon?" "Yeah, I" " I still need one more plant for my second potion, but I came back to see if Valerie was still here so I could apologise." "What happened to my potion?" "Oh." "Valerie took it." "And you didn't stop her?" "Yeah, I'm gonna put down an overpriced chocolate bar just to yell at Valerie." "Get real." "Salem, this potion turns people into animals." "People into animals?" "Why am I finding it hard to summon sympathy?" "I've gotta get it back." "Room service." "Someone order carp, carp and more carp?" "SALEM:" "Yo." "[GRUNTING]" "Oh, this is the opportunity of a lifetime." "A chance to study a prehistoric creature close-up." "Yeah, I have to admit I am enjoying it." " Really?" " Now I'm done." "I wanna plummet down the Tower of Terror, and I wanna plummet now." "ZELDA:" "What's he saying?" " Log flume." "Log flume." " Oh, he is not." "[GIBBERING]" "Oh, he's hungry." "And I would like to point out that he wouldn't be hungry if you would turn him back into a bone." "I'll zap in some food." "I'm thinking anything tartare." "Wait a minute." "I don't wanna make him sick." "Maybe I'd better go back to where we found him and analyze the soil so we can get his diet right." "Give him a nut from the honour bar and see if he can keep it down." "Keep an eye on him." "Are you kidding?" "A looker like that?" "Take it easy." "Take it easy." "I'm upset that the hotel doesn't provide robes too, but you don't see me tearing the room apart." "SABRINA:" "Valerie?" "Valerie?" "Lose something?" "My brew" " I mean, my bottle." "Where'd you find it?" "Oddly enough, next to two wandering zebras." "You didn't happen to notice which way they went?" "No, why?" "Oh, because, uh-- I'm looking for Valerie, and I happen to know she's a real zebra fanatic." " Uh-huh." " It's a real problem." "There are no support groups." "Gotta go." "That girl is lying." "There are support groups for everything." "[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ON TELEVISION]" "I guess this disproves one theory:" "Music doesn't soothe the savage beast," "Petticoat Junction does." "[GRUNTS]" "Yeah, Uncle Joe is moving kind of slow." "Aunt Hilda, I need help." "Libby and Valerie accidentally spilled my potion, and now they've become zebras." "Huh." "You think that's bad." "I once accidentally turned the entire USC marching band into garter snakes." "I need a clamshell orchid for the turn-back potion." "All right, don't panic." "This is not a problem." "Clamshell orchid." "What's it shaped like?" "[GIBBERING]" "Oh, of course." "Tootie used to live here." "He can help us." " And he is...?" " A 2-million-year-old fossil that Zelda found, brought to life and evolved so he can speak." "I can't remember what it feels like to be astonished." "All right, let's go." "Okay, and remember, no grooming the passersby." "Ape before beauty." "HARVEY:" "The black rhino you see on your left is named Tiffany." "Tiffany's turn-ons include volleyball and Judith Krantz novels." "Her turn-offs are war and people who smoke." "[MAN SPEAKS UNINTELLIGIBLY]" "No, sir, she's not waving at you." "[GIBBERING]" "Oh, he says there's probably a clamshell orchid over there." "Well, well, well, Ms. Spellman, are we looking for a Mickey Mouse topiary to pull apart?" "No, but thanks for asking." " You have something behind you." " Probably not." "Oh, hello, Hilda." "Hello" "Oh, my" " Who is this?" "Uh, Aunt Hilda's new boyfriend, Tootie Goldberg." "[GRUNTS]" " He's Swedish." " And he's dying to see" "The Lion King show, so we'd better go get seats." "Heh." "See you." "[GRUNTS]" "Boy, Swedes do not do well in warm weather." "Okay, the clamshell orchid's in." "Let's hope this works." "I don't think being a zebra is gonna help Valerie's self-esteem." "[BOTH GAGGING]" "Okay, what have we learned?" "We've learned that 14 shrimp cocktails should not be accompanied by an entire shepherd's pie." "[GROANING]" "I swear, Mr. Kraft, I have no idea how I got there" " or why my mouth tastes like grass." " Me neither." "Well, I have an idea or two." "I think it might have something to do with a certain obsessive-compulsive disorder that one of you has with zebras." " Huh?" " I want you to know," "I was just trying to save her from herself." "What?" "I never doubted that for a minute, Libby." "Before she went crazy, the last thing I remember was me saying I thought it would be educational if we rode the safari ride." "But we never got there." "I'm on my way there right now." "Would you care to join me?" "I'd love to, Mr. Kraft." "[SCOFFS]" "Obsession with zebras?" "Val, are you okay?" " I think." " Good." "Okay, let's go find Zelda." " Are we okay?" " Yeah." "Look, I" " I'm sorry I got sucked into Libby's sphere, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you." "You were right." "Libby doesn't like me." "What tipped you off?" "I don't know." "I just have this strong feeling she'd fight me over a salt lick." "I don't know why." "And I have to admit, I was a little jealous because you were being friendly with Libby." "You were?" "Wow!" "I've never made anyone jealous before." "Okay, I'm done savouring the moment." " Let's go ride something." " Great." "Hey, who was that smelly man with your aunt?" "Yes, prehistoric creatures ate a bean very similar to our lima." "Somehow you find that interesting." "Hello, girls." "Where's Harvey?" " Where is Harvey?" " I thought you knew." "Uh-oh." "HARVEY:" "That concludes our trip through the Harambe reserve." "Make sure you take all your belongings with you." "And to that couple who taunted the mandrills, that stuff will come out with a little club soda." "Harvey Kinkle, do you know where you are?" "Mr. Kraft." "Yes." "I'm near a termite mound that antelopes use as a lookout post." "Help me!" "Harvey, where have you been?" "I don't know." "I'm kind of tired, my throat's sore, and I'm suddenly very disdainful of the way America dresses." "Speaking of which, weren't we forbidden to do missionary work on this trip?" "I've gotta stop letting my mom pack for me." " I'm thirsty." " Yeah." "Hey, you got any more of that iced tea?" "Nope." "Gone, gone, gone." "Gone." "Three lemonades, please." " Right away." " Hey, you should work here." "You can wear your own clothes." "If I wasn't working for the mouse, I'd slap you." "So how'd I do?" "Well, you passed the survival test." "Now all you have to do is spend the night alone in Antarctica." " You're kidding." " Heh." "As a matter of fact, I am." "It's a week." "Eh?" "Yeow." "Man, I crack myself up." "So, what happened to Tootie?" " Did you turn him back into a bone?" " Oh, we couldn't do that to him." "We cleaned him up, taught him some English and found a place for him." "Hi." "Uh, large fruit punch, please." " Ice?" " Yeah, sure." "No ice." "Do I know you?" "Ice?" "I don't know how long you've known Hilda, but, uh, she seem at all strange to you?" "Like doing weird things you can't" "[GRUNTING]" "Uh" " Well, no, I mean above and beyond simply being a woman." "Heh." "So Sweden, huh?" "Wow." "You must be pretty proud of the way you guys did down in Nagano." "I" " I have a good dentist we could, uh, maybe send you to." "[GRUNTS]" "Yeah, well, there would be some gum surgery, no question about that." "I've always liked the paintings of Edvard Munch, who's, uh, Swedish."