"Dappled sunlight, a gorgeous guy on guitar... my relationship with Tommy Q. is the best in the world." "If we don't talk that's okay" "'Cause I hear everything that you say" "You've got my heart tuned into you..." "Okay, how about "Who am I fooling"?" "It's good song, I'm not sure you wanna sing it at Karma and Speed's wedding." " "Liar liar?"" " Another Harrison classic probably goes against the whole eternal love thing." "I'm sensing a pattern." "Why not this?" "'Cause it's just a song that's about two people that get each other." "Get each other?" "Like... more stuff to eat?" "Okay, think about it." "Do you really think that Karma and Speed have that kind of relationship?" " Do you think we do?" " Tommy and me?" "We're all about private moments;" "others like to show the world what they got." "Honey, I'm home!" "Honey, I'm hyperventilating!" "Save it for the cameras, newlyweds." "All sixteen of them." ""Rock'n'roll Honeymoon" is giving us this whole crib?" "See, our audience wants to share in your intimate lives behind-the-scenes 'cause you learn what it really means." "You're mad." "Why?" "Why can't they see what everyone else sees?" "Why can't they see their doomed?" "One more thing." "There are no cameras in this closet." "Consider it your private sanctuary." "Yeah, or personal prison." "A prison with a jacuzzi tub, five hundred square foot party room and around-the-clock limo service." "Speed, Karm, this TV show's gonna launch your music career's faster than a tryst with Timberland." "As your producer, I can guarantee you, you're gonna be stars." "Subtitles:" "Amariss" "Transcript:" "Raceman" "you were all Barbara Walters about your upbringing: the poverty, the despair" "Please, don't." "It's too painful to discuss." "Yeah, well..." "hopefully, it isn't too painful to see." "Come again?" "No matter how destitute your family is, you ought to introduce them to your fiance, right?" "Wait..." "This is where you grew up?" "And... that's your family?" "Hi, guys." "Spring cleaning?" "I'm..." "leaving G Major." "I quit." "Hi, Jude Harrison, lifelong friend." "Nice to meet you." "Why didn't you tell me?" "You were preoccupied." "So, having a boyfriend means a girl can't pause for anything else anymore?" "Having a boyfriend means Jamie doesn't share his every move with you anymore." "This is about me and Tommy, isn't it?" "This is about me and Paegan starting our own record label." "And I'm capable of being just peachy without you, and I am... peachy." " See?" " Okay." "Mom, dad," "I hope you're free on saturday 'cause..." "Spiederman and I, we're getting married!" "Great!" "Again?" "This time we'll do it properly." "Yeah, and in front of millions of at-home viewers." "Tell us about Karma's childhood." "Who?" "Who wants some more fruit punch?" " Your daughter?" " Oh, yeah." "When she tried out for that singing contest, she changed her name." "Luckily, someone talked her out of Dogma." "So, what's her given name?" "Look at the time." "Speed, don't we have stuff to do?" "Jennifer." "Punch?" "Come here." "Look, Jennifer, apparently, I know more about neuroscience than I do my own fiancee." "You call me that name again, this engagement ring is inside your nose." "All right, this is nuts." "We need to get to know each other-- completely, deeply, before saturday, okay?" "Feels like you're moving in slow motion" "And you don't know where you're going" "Tried it all and it's too boring" "Why'd you stop?" "I thought you were gonna modify the lyrics." "You can't sing "Natural Disaster" at Speed's wedding." "Okay, well, I can't sing a song about eternal love?" "I mean, I'll make people's hundred most hypocritical list." "You're gonna be Speed's best man;" "you can't be secretly reluctant about the wedding." "Aren't all best men?" "You're his friend;" "if you feel that strongly, maybe you should... tell him." "That marrying a publicity stunt is a little superficial?" "Play." "Play." "Speedy, how would you like to make us some nice espresso?" "Well, that's a marvelous idea." "I'll get just get that in a jiffy pop moment." "All right, c'mon, let's go." "What's going on." " Come on." " Ow!" "What are you doing?" "Turn off your packie dackie?" "Okay..." "All right, here's how we're gonna do this:" "we come into the no-camera closet," "I confess something deeply personal, then you confess." "I confess I'm claustrophobic." "We alternate for five minutes, every hour on the hour, until we know each other through and through." "All right?" "You go first." "I wanna know everything." "Okay, I..." "I love blue cheese." "This is stupid." "What I want to know about you is... why did you lie about your childhood?" "Because nothing devastating has ever happened to me!" "Why?" "Why can't I have my fair share of tragedy like everyone else!" "And this worries you?" "I'm worry that... good musicians don't come from benign suburbia." "Karma, don't underestimate the amount of pain and angst in the 'burbs." "Inspiration is everywhere." "Just... be you." "Now, what do you want to know about me?" "Your family?" "What do you expect from me?" "You expect me to jump up and down 'cause you tell me you're getting married to a girl you haven't even bothered to introduce to me?" "Well, dad, you could at least stop walking." "Mr. Spiederman, hi, I'm Karma." "When's the wedding?" "Saturday." "I'll have Lana check my schedule." "You call me later, okay?" "See?" "He just..." "he just doesn't care." "It's crazy." "My mom's gone, I'm his only kid and he can't..." "I'm sorry." "Cut that." "Karma?" "Come here." "One second." "Yeah, we're trying to create compelling TV here." "I chose you and Speed 'cause I thought you'd deliver the goods." " Well, aren't we?" " You want to be so famous you can't even buy milk without getting mobbed, am I right?" "Well, for the sake of your future and so we aren't forced to cast new rock star newlyweds, you just..." "What?" "Be meaner." "Pick more fights." "Do you like it?" "Is it comfy?" "It's good." "It's all good." "This is crazy, isn't it?" "I mean, it's exciting." "Tomorrow, big day... big cake." "Big lifelong commitment to Karma." "'Kay, you have a tone." "Skin tone?" "A dewey one?" "All right, you know what I mean." " Just don't go there." " Okay, but listen, if I" "I feel like if I don't go there now, it's just gonna be too late." "I don't know how else to say it, Speed, but you and Karma?" "I mean..." "you're just not right for each other." "Why... why would you say that?" "Because..." "I feel like I'm doing my duty as a best man, who's a woman, should." "I mean you're just destined for a lifetime of... of support orders and custody disputes!" "Jude!" "Think about it, really think about it." "You and Karma?" "Really think it's going to work?" "Some powerful crystal ball you've got there, able to see right into people's hearts." "Man." "Speed." " Here we go again." " Pathetic." "Okay, as we discussed, you want fame, I want ratings." "Get to fight picking'." "Okay." "Sadie!" "You, yokel, you're crushing your bum rosette!" "Karma, Karma, just inhale and exhale, okay?" "Honeypie, just be happy." "You know, we're getting married... again." "And in shoes like that." "What?" "I love bargain footwear." "You're such a frugal shopper, Speed." "It's one of your sexiest features." "Hold me back." "What's that, a zit?" "I'm not gonna say a thing." "Thanks." "Opposites attract, right?" "A toast to the perfect couple!" "How long you give 'em?" "Six months." "Dude, the guitar sculpture is made entirely out of jell-o." " No way." " I'm in heaven." "Yeah, awesome." "So, you, me, and a real estate agent in a short skirt, are gonna find us studio space, something lavish." "Lavish doesn't write better music." "When's this thing gonna start?" "Don't know." "You get the feeling this marriage is gonna be a house of cards?" "Oh, you never really know who's made for you and who's not, do you?" "Oh, mate, how you doing?" "The whole Jude-Tommy thing." "Fine, thanks." "All right." "Another." "Okay, it's time." "You ready?" "Wait." "Speed..." "This isn't right." "We shouldn't get married without your dad here." "I thought you understood he's not into it." "But it's your dream, right?" "Since you were a little kid?" "You just want your dad's approval." "Karma, I don't get it." "Why are you bringing this up?" "Because..." "I think you should call your dad and tell him to come right away." " Look, I don't want to!" " Then, I will." "What?" "Karma, no!" "But you just want him to be proud of you and he would be if he were here!" "Stop." "Stop interfering." "Look, you don't know anything about me and my dad!" "I am almost your wife!" "Tell me, should I keep a safe distance from you?" "Maybe we're better off not knowing each other too intimately." "I don't want to call my father because I don't want him here unless he realizes... he realizes that he wants to be... and clearly, he doesn't." "Karma, kids at home," "Jude was right." "We're not right for each other, okay?" "What?" "Wait!" "I only said those things because I had to." "He... he wants us to fight for compelling TV and you refused to bicker about your shoe quality." "Okay, so you embarrassed me because the show is more important to you than us?" "Tell everyone the wedding's off!" "All right?" "The wedding's off." "What?" "I'm sorry!" "Where are they?" "Long as they keep the bar open, who cares?" "Jamie, how're you doing, buddy?" "Fine." "What's up with him?" "Hey, we should get started any minute." "If we can just find the happy couple." "Jude, come here." "I give 'em three months." "No way!" "Tommy Q's gonna get all strong and silent." "And we all know Jude." "She's gonna get jealous, maybe nervous, then..." " Okay, I give them two months." " Yeah." "Two months?" "Yeah, two months." "Wait a sec." "People are saying stuff about us." "Mean things." "You're famous, of course they are." "No, our friends!" "They're saying that we're doomed." "They don't know what we're like." "Guys... the justice of the peace has to jet to another wedding." "So, we gotta get these rock stars hitched, like now." "Jamie, man!" "How're you doing?" "Fine, thank you." "Hey, Jamie." "Oh, man, how're you doing?" "Fine!" "Jamie, how ya doing, man?" "Sorry, man." "Maybe we could just shut down the bar for a few minutes, guys?" "Take your mother-loving seats, people!" "So... here's a funny thing... a funny thing about relationships." "No matter what you expect from a couple, you never know what they're like when they're alone together." "And the only two people qualified to say whether those two people even belong together are those two people." "So... this is for you Karma and Speed." "If we don't talk that's okay" "'Cause I hear everything that you say" "You got my heart tuned into you" "You hold this hurt inside it shows" "And you can't hide" "But if we open up we'll break through" "You and I go deeper" "Down below where no one sees it" "Where you close your eyes and just believe it" "You and I go deeper" "Where everything's unspoken" "And the world feels so wide open to me now" "Karma... marriage is through thick and thin." "Today was pretty thick." "And I know that we don't know each other that well right now, but I love what I know." "So, let's..." "let's do it anyways." " Let's get married." " You and I go deeper" "Where everything's unspoken" "And the world feels so wide open to me now" "And the morning shines much brighter to me somehow" "And maybe this can last forever" "If we follow what we feel" "And you love me like I know you will" "You and I go deeper, yeah" "Down below where no one sees it" "And when you close your eyes and just believe it" "You and I go deeper" "Where everything's unspoken" "And the world feels so wide open... to me now" "Yeah, yeah" "I made a list of inexpensive's studio rental spaces in the east end." "East end?" "I mean, east end, best indian food in town." "You look a bit green round the gills, mate." "Hung over?" "You ever loved a woman that you knew was just like "it", you knew that she'd be enough for as long as you lived?" "Yeah, third girlfriend in between wives five and six." "I've loved Jude my entire life." "I've always hoped that she'd come back to me." "Now it's different." "Everything... everything's different." "Why don't you wipe the crumbs off the toaster when you're done toasting stuff!" "What's wrong with a few of my crumbs?" "!" "You think they'll notice if we never come out?" "Okay." "I was the only kid in my class not invited to Chester Baird's seventh birthday party and it scarred me 'til I was eighteen." "But you're eighteen now." "Yeah." "If I ever had to pump my own gas, I would die." "I..." "I hate chinese food, but I love using chopsticks on my spaghetti." "My full name is Jennifer Margaret Williamson." "Vincent Augusto Spiederman." "Glad I married you, Vince." "Me too, Jennie." "Famous or not, a real relationship happens when no one else is looking;" "when you're alone together, knee deep in quiet moments with the one you love." "But if we open up we'll break through" "You and I go deeper..." "Subtitles:" "Willow's Team Transcript:" "Raceman"