"[WHISTLE BLOWS]" "[DRUM CADENCE]" "[WHISTLE BLOWS]" "[BAND PLAYS76 TROMBONES]" "CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS." "ALL ABOARD!" "LET HIM GO, ORVILLE." "I GUESS WE MADE IT PLAIN WE DON'T WANT" "NO MORE TRAVELING SALESMEN IN BRIGHTON." "CREDIT'S NO GOOD FOR A NOTION SALESMAN." "HOW FAR YOU GOING, FRIEND?" "WHEREVER THE PEOPLE ARE AS GREEN AS THE MONEY, FRIEND." "WHAT'S WRONG WITH CREDIT?" "IT'S OLD-FASHIONED." "YOU'RE AN ANVIL SALESMAN." "YOUR FIRM GIVE CREDIT?" "NO, SIR!" "NOR ANYBODY ELSE." "NEXT STATION STOP, RIVER CITY, IOWA." "♪♪ CASH FOR THE MERCHANDISE ♪♪" "♪♪ CASH FOR THE BUTTONHOOKS ♪♪" "♪♪ CASH FOR THE COTTON GOODS ♪♪" "♪♪ CASH FOR THE HARD GOODS ♪♪" "♪♪ CASH FOR THE FANCY GOODS ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ CASH FOR THE SOFT GOODS ♪" "♪♪ CASH FOR THE NOGGINS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THE PIGGINS AND THE FIRKINS ♪♪" "♪♪ CASH FOR THE HOGSHEAD ♪♪" "♪♪ CASK, AND DEMIJOHN ♪♪" "♪♪ CASH FOR THE CRACKERS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THE PICKLES AND THE FLYPAPER ♪♪" "♪♪ LOOK, WHADDYA TALK?" "♪♪" "♪♪ WHADDYA TALK?" "WHADDYA TALK?" "♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ WHERE DO YOU GET IT?" "♪" "♪♪ YOU CAN TALK, YOU CAN TALK ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU CAN BICKER, YOU CAN TALK ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU CAN BICKER, BICKER, BICKER ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU CAN TALK ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ TALK, TALK, TALK, BICKER, BICKER, BICKER ♪" "♪♪ YOU CAN TALK ALL YOU WANT TO ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT IT'S DIFFEREN T THAN IT WAS ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, IT AIN'T, NO, IT AIN'T ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT YOU GOT TO KNOW THE TERRITORY ♪♪" "♪♪ SHH SHH SHH SHH SHH SHH ♪♪" "♪♪ IT'S THE MODEL "T" FORD MADE THE TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ MADE THE PEOPLE WANT TO GO ♪♪" "♪♪ WANT TO GIT, WANT TO GIT ♪♪" "♪♪ WANT TO GIT UP AND GO ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ 7, 8, 9, 1O, 12 ♪" "♪ ♪♪ 14, 22, 23 MILES TO THE COUNTY SEAT ♪" "♪♪ YES, SIR, YES, SIR ♪♪" "♪♪ WHO'S GONNA PATRONIZE ♪♪" "♪♪ A LITTLE, BITTY 2-BY-4 ♪♪" "♪♪ KIND OF STORE ANYMORE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ WHADDYA TALK?" "WHADDYA TALK?" "♪♪" "♪♪ GONE WITH THE HOGSHEAD, CASK, AND DEMIJOHN ♪♪" "♪♪ GONE WITH THE SUGAR BARREL, PICKLE BARREL, MILK PAN ♪♪" "♪♪ GONE WITH THE TUB AND THE PAIL AND THE TIERCE ♪♪" "♪♪ EVER MEET A FELLOW BY THE NAME OF HILL?" "♪♪" "HILL?" "HILL?" "HILL?" "HILL?" "HILL?" "HILL?" "HILL?" "HILL?" "NO!" "♪♪ JUST A MINUTE, JUST A MINUTE ♪♪" "♪♪ NEVER HEARD OF ANY SALESMAN HILL ♪♪" "♪♪ HE DOESN'T KNOW THE TERRITORY ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT'S THE FELLA'S LINE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ NEVER WORRIES ABOUT HIS LINE ♪♪" "♪♪ OR A DOGGONE THING ♪♪" "♪♪ HE'S JUST A BANG-BEAT , BELL-RINGIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ BIG-HAUL, GREAT-GO, NECK-OR-NOTHING ♪♪" "♪♪ RIP-ROARIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ EVERY-TIME A-BULL'S-EYE SALESMAN ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT'S PROFESSOR HAROLD HILL ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT'S THE FELLA'S LINE?" "WHAT'S HIS LINE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ HE'S A FAKE AND DOESN'T KNOW THE TERRITORY ♪♪" "♪♪ WHADDYA TALK?" "WHADDYA TALK?" "WHADDYA TALK?" "WHADDYA TALK?" "♪♪" "♪♪ HE'S A MUSIC MAN ♪♪" "♪♪ HE'S A WHAT?" "HE'S A WHAT?" "♪♪" "♪♪ HE'S A MUSIC MAN ♪♪" "♪♪ HE SELLS CLARINETS TO THE KIDS IN TOWN ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH THE BIG TROMBONES AND THE RAT-A-TAT DRUMS ♪♪" "♪♪ BIG BRASS BASS, BIG BRASS BASS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THE PICCOLO, THE UNIFORMS, TOO ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A SHINY GOLD BRAID ON THE COAT ♪♪" "♪♪ AND A BIG RED STRIPE RUNNING-- ♪♪" "♪♪ WELL, I DON'T KNO W MUCH ABOUT BANDS ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT I DO KNOW YOU CAN'T MAKE A LIVING ♪♪" "♪♪ SELLING BIG TROMBONES ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, SIR ♪♪" "♪♪ MANDOLIN PICKS, PERHAPS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND HERE AND THER E A JEW'S-HARP ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, THE FELLOW SELLS BANDS ♪♪" "♪♪ BOYS' BANDS ♪♪" "♪♪ I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DOES IT ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT HE LIVES LIKE A KING ♪♪" "♪♪ AND HE DALLIES AND HE GATHERS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND HE PLUCKS AND HE SHINES ♪♪" "♪♪ AND WHEN THE MAN DANCES ♪♪" "♪♪ CERTAINLY, BOYS, WHAT ELSE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ THE PIPER PAYS HIM ♪♪" "♪♪ YES, SIR ♪♪" "♪♪ YES, SIR ♪♪" "♪♪ YES, SIR ♪♪" "♪♪ YES, SIR ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ WHEN THE MAN DANCES ♪" "♪ ♪♪ CERTAINLY, BOYS ♪" "♪♪ WHAT ELSE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ THE PIPER PAYS HIM ♪♪" "♪♪ YESSSSSSSSIR ♪♪" "♪♪ YESSSSSSSSIR ♪♪" "BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THE TERRITORY!" "RIVER CITY!" "STATION STOP RIVER CITY!" "JUST CROSSED THE STATE LINE INTO IOWA." "POPULATION RIVER CITY, 2,212." "CIGARETTES ILLEGAL IN THIS STATE." "ALL ABOARD!" "IF YOU'RE ALL THROUGH," "I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT HAROLD HILL." "SAY, YOU KNOW HILL?" "I NEVER SAW HIM IN MY LIFE," "BUT I'VE JUST BEEN RUN OUT OF TOWN BECAUSE OF HILL." "HE'S GIVEN EVERY ONE OF US A BLACK EYE." "YOU GO INTO TOWN TO CALL ON THE TRADE," "AND THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU WITH TAR AND FEATHERS" "TO RIDE YOU OUT THE CITY LIMITS ON A RAIL." "HOW DO YOU ACCOUNT FOR A THING LIKE THAT?" "THIS HILL GOES AROUND SELLING BAND INSTRUMENTS" "AND UNIFORMS AND INSTRUCTION BOOKS" "BY GUARANTEEING TO TEACH THE KIDS TO PLAY." "STANDS TO REASON." "ORGANIZES THEM KIDS INTO A BAND" "WITH HIMSELF AS THE LEADER." "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?" "HE DON'T KNOW ONE NOTE FROM ANOTHER!" "HE DON'T KNOW A BASS DRUM" "FROM A PIPE ORGAN!" "HE'S A BARE-FACED, DOUBLE-SHUFFLE," "TWO-BIT THIMBLERIGGER," "AND I'LL CATCH UP WITH HIM ONE OF THESE DAYS." "I'LL HAVE THE LAW ON HIM SO QUICK!" "TERRITORY'S TOUGH ENOUGH WITHOUT HIM FOULING UP THE NEST." "I'D LIKE TO BE AROUND WHEN YOU CATCH UP WITH HIM." "I WON'T CATCH UP WITH HIM IN IOWA." "HE'S TOO SMART TO PULL THAT FLIMFLAM OUT HERE." "NOT ON THESE NECK-BOWED HAWKEYES." "GENTLEMEN, YOU INTRIGUE ME." "I'LL HAVE TO GIVE IOWA A TRY." "DON'T BELIEVE I CAUGHT YOUR NAME." "DON'T BELIEVE I DROPPED IT." "UH, SIR..." "THAT'S A FINE-LOOKING ANIMAL." "FOR A HORSE, YEAH." "GOOD MORNING, NEIGHBOR." "COULD YOU KINDLY DIRECT ME" "WHICH WAY IS THE CENTER OF TOWN?" "RUNS RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET." "EXCUSE ME, FRIEND," "WHERE WOULD I FIND A GOOD HOTEL?" "TRY THE PALMER HOUSE IN CHICAGO." "I'M A STRANGER IN YOUR TOWN." "WHAT DO YOU FOLKS DO AROUND HERE" "FOR EXCITEMENT?" "MIND OUR BUSINESS." "♪♪ ♪♪ YOU ARE IN IOWAY" "IOWAY?" "I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU FOLKS PREFERRED IOWUH." "WE DO." "HE JUST SAID IOWAY." "WESAY IT NOW AND THEN," "BUT WE DON'T LIKE ANYBODY ELSE TO." "♪♪ WE ARE FROM IOWAY ♪♪" "YOU FOLKS CERTAINLY DO KNOW HOW" "TO MAKE A BODY FEEL AT HOME." "♪♪ OH, THERE'S NOTHING HALFWAY ♪♪" "♪♪ ABOUT THE IOWA WAY TO TREAT YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN WE GREET YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ WHICH WE MAY NOT DO AT ALL ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE'S AN IOWA KIND ♪♪" "♪♪ A SPECIAL CHIP-ON-THE" " SHOULDER ATTITUDE ♪♪" "♪♪ WE'VE NEVER BEEN WITHOUT ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT WE RECALL ♪♪" "♪♪ WE CAN BE COLD AS A FALLING THERMOMETER IN DECEMBER ♪♪" "♪♪ IF YOU ASK ABOUT OUR WEATHER IN JULY ♪♪" "♪♪ AND WE'RE SO BY-GOD STUBBORN ♪♪" "♪♪ WE CAN STAND TOUCHING NOSES ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR A WEEK AT A TIME ♪♪" "♪♪ AND NEVER SEE EYE-TO-EYE ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT WHAT THE HECK?" "♪♪" "♪♪ YOU'RE WELCOME ♪♪" "♪♪ JOIN US AT THE PICNIC ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU CAN EAT YOUR FILL ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ OF ALL THE FOOD YOU BRING YOURSELF ♪" "♪♪ YOU REALLY OUGHT TO GIVE IOWA A TRY ♪♪" "♪♪ PROVIDED YOU ARE CONTRARY ♪♪" "GOOD MORNING, MAYOR SHINN!" "IT IS IF YOU WANT TO" "GO AROUND IN YOUR DRAWERS ALL DAY." "♪♪ WE CAN BE COLD AS A FALLING THERMOMETER IN DECEMBER ♪♪" "♪♪ IF YOU ASK ABOUT OUR WEATHER IN JULY ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ AND WE'RE SO BY-GOD STUBBORN" "♪ ♪♪ WE CAN STAND TOUCHING NOSES ♪" "♪♪ FOR A WEEK AT A TIME AND NEVER SEE EYE-TO-EYE ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT WE'LL GIVE YOU OUR SHIRT ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THE BACK TO GO WITH IT ♪♪" "♪♪ IF YOUR CROP SHOULD HAPPEN TO DIE ♪♪" "♪♪ SO WHAT THE HECK?" "♪♪" "♪♪ YOU'RE WELCOME ♪♪" "♪♪ GLAD TO HAVE YOU WITH US ♪♪" "♪♪ EVEN THOUGH WE MAY NOT EVER MENTION IT AGAIN ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU REALLY OUGHT TO GIVE IOWA ♪♪" "♪♪ HAWKEYE, IOWA ♪♪" "♪♪ DUBUQUE, DES MOINES, DAVENPORT ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ MARSHALLTOWN, MASON CITY" "♪♪ ♪♪ KEOKUK, AMES, CLEAR LAKE" "♪♪ OUGHT TO GIVE IOWA A TRY ♪♪" "MR., UH, SQUIRES." "I'M INTERESTED IN A RIG FOR SUNDAY" "IF YOU CAN ACCOMMODATE ME." "THEN YOU OUGHT TO SEE THE MAN" "IN CHARGE OF HIRING RIGS." "RIGS?" "RIGGS?" "AIN'T NOBODY HERE BY THAT NAME." "MARCELLUS!" "MARCELLUS WASHBURN!" "GREGORY!" "OF ALL THE PEOPLE TO RUN INTO IN IOWA!" "GREGORY!" "SHH!" "PROFESSOR HAROLD HILL'S THE NAME THIS TRIP." "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE COMING?" "I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS, MYSELF." "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D FIND A SLICKER LIKE YOU" "OUT HERE IN THE HAILSTONE AND SARSAPARILLA BELT." "THIS IS WHERE I WORK." "YOU MEAN YOU LIVE IN THIS TOWN?" "YEAH!" "I LIKE IT, TOO." "IT'S NOT BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, BUT..." "BROOKLYN?" "THIS ISN'T EVEN DUBUQUE." "HEY, ARE YOU HIDING OUT OR WHAT?" "NO." "JUST NOT AS LIGHT ON MY FEET" "AS I WAS WHEN I WAS SHILLING FOR YOU." "YOU'RE IN A BUSINESS, GOT A LOT OF CLOSE SHAVES." "I GOT A NICE JOB NOW AND A NICE GIRL," "ETHEL TOFFELMIER, THE BOSS' NIECE." "SO YOU'VE GONE LEGITIMATE, HUH?" "I KNEW YOU'D COME TO NO GOOD." "WHAT ARE YOU SELLING?" "LAST I HEARD," "YOU WERE SELLING STEAM AUTOMOBILES." "I WAS." "WHAT HAPPENED?" "SOMEBODY ACTUALLY INVENTED ONE." "NO." "SO NOW I'M BACK AT THE OLD STAND." "NOT BOYS' BANDS." "THEY GOT NO CALL FOR BOYS' BANDS HERE." "ANYTHING THEY DON'T ALREADY HAVE," "THEY DO WITHOUT." "THEY GOT MUSIC?" "THEY GOT A GRAMOPHONE DOWN TO THE BARBERSHOP." "A STUCK-UP LIBRARIAN GIVES PIANO." "MAIDEN LADY." "SHE'LL EXPOSE YOU" "BEFORE YOU GET THIS BAG UNPACKED." "YOU KNOW MAIDEN LADY LIBRARIANS WHO GIVE PIANO" "ARE A SPECIALTY OF MINE." "YOU JUST POINT HER OUT TO ME THE MINUTE YOU SEE HER." "I'LL BACK HER INTO A CORNER" "AND BREATHE ON HER GLASSES." "THAR SHE BLOWS." "I'LL DO IT, BUT I WON'T LIKE IT." "THAT'S NOT THE LIBRARIAN." "THAT'S MRS. SHINN, THE MAYOR'S WIFE." "GOOD AFTERNOON, MRS. SHINN." "DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT." "IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?" "THE SAME THING THAT'S ALWAYS THE MATTER HERE." "LOOK." "IS THIS THE SORT OF BOOK" "YOU GIVE MY DAUGHTER TO READ," "THISRUBY HAT OF OMAR KAYAYAY?" "I AM APPALLED!" "I DID RECOMMEND IT." "IT'S BEAUTIFUL PERSIAN POETRY." "IT'SDIRTY PERSIAN POETRY." "PEOPLE LYING OUT IN THE WOODS" "EATING SANDWICHES, GETTING DRUNK" "WITH PITFALL AND WITH GIN." "DRINKING DIRECTLY OUT OF JUGS" "WITH INNOCENT YOUNG GIRLS." "NO DAUGHTER OF MINE EVER" "MRS. SHINN!" "THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAMIS A CLASSIC." "IT'S A SMUTTY BOOK," "LIKE MOST OF THE OTHERS YOU KEEP HERE." "WOULDN'T YOU RATHER YOUR DAUGHTER READ A CLASSIC" "THAN ELINOR GLYN?" "WHAT ELINOR GLYN READS ISHERMOTHER'S PROBLEM." "JUST KEEP YOUR DIRTY BOOKS AWAY FROMMYDAUGHTER." "MARCE, YOU SURE PICKED YOURSELF A TOWN." "LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE HOTEL." "I'M NOT SURE I'M STAYING YET." "FIRST I'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY" "TO GET INTO SOME OF THESE IOWA BOODLEBAGS." "GREG, IT AIN'T EASY." "I NEED AN OPENING." "YOU REMEMBER THE PITCH." "WHAT CAN I USE?" "WHAT'S NEW AROUND HERE?" "A FARMER BROUGHT IN AN EGG HAD THREE YOLKS." "IT WAS IN THE PAPER." "OH, THAT'S EXCITING, ALL RIGHT." "WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT?" "THERE'S THE WEATHER, WHEN IT'S IN SEASON." "I NEED SOME IDEAS." "I'M GOING TO GET YOUR TOWN" "OUT OF THE SERIOUS TROUBLE IT'S IN." "RIVER CITY AIN'T IN ANY TROUBLE." "THEN I'LL HAVE TO CREATE SOME." "MUST CREATE A DESPERATE NEED" "IN YOUR TOWN FOR A BOYS' BAND." "WHY DOES EVERYBODY KEEP RUBBERING" "INTO THE BILLIARD PARLOR?" "THEY JUST GOT IN A NEW POOL TABLE." "SURELY THEY'VE SEEN A POOL TABLE BEFORE." "NO, JUST BILLIARDS." "THAT'LL DO IT." "JUST SIT WHERE YOU ARE." "REMEMBER, IF YOU SEE THAT MUSIC TEACHER..." "ARE YOU MR. DUNLOP?" "YEAH." "WELL, EITHER YOU'RE CLOSING YOUR EYES" "TO A SITUATION YOU DO NOT WISH TO ACKNOWLEDGE," "OR YOU ARE NOT AWARE" "OF THE CALIBER OF DISASTER" "INDICATED BY THE PRESENCE" "OF A POOL TABLE IN YOUR COMMUNITY." "♪♪ WELL, YOU GOT TROUBLE, MY FRIEND ♪♪" "♪♪ RIGHT HERE, I SAY, TROUBL E RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY ♪♪" "♪♪ WHY, SURE, I'M A BILLIARD PLAYER ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ MIGHTY PROUD TO SAY I'M MIGHTY PROUD TO SAY IT ♪" "♪♪ I CONSIDER THAT THE HOURS I SPEND ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A CUE IN MY HAND ARE GOLDEN ♪♪" "♪♪ HELP YOU CULTIVATE HORSE SENSE ♪♪" "♪♪ AND A COOL HEAD AND A KEEN EYE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ EVER TAKE AND TRY TO GIVE AN IRON-CLAD LEAVE TO YOURSELF ♪" "♪♪ FROM A THREE-RAIL BILLIARD SHOT?" "♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ BUT JUST AS I SAY IT TAKES JUDGMENT, BRAINS, AND MATURITY ♪" "♪♪ TO SCORE IN A BALKLINE GAME ♪♪" "♪♪ I SAY THAT ANY BOOB CAN TAKE AND SHOVE A BALL IN A POCKET ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I CALL THAT SLOTH ♪♪" "♪♪ THE FIRST BIG STEP ON THE ROA TO THE DEPTHS OF DEGRADA-- ♪♪" "♪♪ I SAY, FIRST MEDICINAL WINE FROM A TEASPOON ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ THEN BEER FROM A BOTTLE ♪" "♪ ♪♪ AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW ♪" "♪♪ YOUR SON IS PLAYIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR MONEY IN A PINCH-BACK SUIT ♪♪" "♪♪ AND LISTENIN' TO SOME BIG OUT-OF-TOWN JASPER ♪♪" "♪♪ TELL HIM ABOUT HORSERACE GAMBLIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ NOT A WHOLESOME TROTTIN' RACE, NO!" "♪♪" "♪♪ BUT A RACE WHERE THEY SET DOWN ♪♪" "♪♪ RIGHT ON THE HORSE!" "♪♪" "♪♪ LIKE TO SEE SOME STUCK-UP JOCKEY BOY ♪♪" "♪♪ SETTIN' ON DAN PATCH?" "♪♪" "♪♪ MAKE YOUR BLOOD BOIL?" "♪♪" "♪♪ WELL, I SHOULD SAY!" "♪♪" "♪♪ LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I MEAN ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU GOT 1, 2, 3, 4 ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ 5, 6 POCKETS IN A TABLE ♪" "♪♪ POCKETS THAT MARK THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ♪♪" "♪♪ A GENTLEMAN AND A BUM ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A CAPITAL "B" AND THAT RHYMES WITH "P" ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ AND THAT STANDS FOR POOL" "♪♪ AND ALL WEEK LONG YOUR RIVER CITY YOUTH ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ WILL BE FRITTERIN' AWAY ♪" "♪♪ I SAY, YOUR YOUNG MEN WILL BE FRITTERIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ FRITTERIN' AWAY THEIR NOONTIME ♪♪" "♪♪ SUPPERTIME, CHORETIME, TOO ♪♪" "♪♪ GET THE BALL IN THE POCKET!" "♪♪" "♪♪ NEVER MIND GETTIN' DANDELIONS PULLED ♪♪" "♪♪ OR THE SCREEN DOOR PATCHE D OR THE BEEFSTEAK POUNDED ♪♪" "♪♪ NEVER MIND PUMPIN' ANY WATER TILL YOUR PARENTS ARE CAUGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A CISTERN EMPTY ON A SATURDAY NIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THAT'S TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ YES, YOU GOT LOTS AND LOTS OF TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ I'M THINKIN' OF THE KIDS IN THE KNICKERBOCKERS ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ SHIRT-TAILED YOUNG ONES ♪" "♪♪ PEEKIN' IN THE POOL HALL WINDOW AFTER SCHOOL ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU GOT TROUBLE, FOLKS ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY" "♪♪ TROUBLE WITH A CAPITAL "T " AND THAT RHYMES WITH "P" ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ AND THAT STANDS FOR POOL" "♪♪ NOW, I KNOW ALL YOU FOLKS ARE THE RIGHT KIND OF PARENTS ♪♪" "♪♪ I'M GONNA BE PERFECTLY FRANK ♪♪" "♪♪ WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT KIND OF CONVERSATION GOES ON ♪♪" "♪♪ WHILE THEY'RE LOAFIN' AROUND THAT HALL?" "♪♪" "♪♪ THEY'RE TRYIN' OUT BEVO, TRYIN' OUT CUBEBS ♪♪" "♪♪ TRYIN' OUT TAILOR-MADES LIKE CIGARETTE FIENDS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND BRAGGIN' ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ ALL ABOUT HOW THEY'RE GONNA COVER UP ♪" "♪♪ A TELL-TALE BREATH WITH SEN-SEN ♪♪" "♪♪ ONE FINE NIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ THEY LEAVE THE POOL HALL ♪♪" "♪♪ HEADIN' FOR THE DANCE AT THE ARMORY ♪♪" "♪♪ LIBERTINE MEN ♪♪" "♪♪ AND SCARLET WOMEN ♪♪" "♪♪ AND RAGTIME, SHAMELESS MUSIC ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT'LL GRAB YOUR SON, YOUR DAUGHTER ♪♪" "♪♪ IN THE ARMS OF A JUNGLE ANIMAL INSTINCT ♪♪" "♪♪ MASS-TERIA!" "♪♪" "♪♪ FRIENDS, THE IDLE BRAIN IS THE DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND ♪♪" "♪♪ TROUBLE, RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A CAPITAL "T" AND THAT RHYMES WITH "P" ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ AND THAT STANDS FOR POOL" "♪♪ WE SURELY GOT TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY" "♪♪ GOTTA FIGURE OUT A WAY ♪♪" "♪♪ TO KEEP THE YOUNG ONES MORAL AFTER SCHOOL ♪♪" "♪♪ OUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN GONNA HAVE TROUBLE ♪♪" "MOTHERS OF RIVER CITY!" "HEED THAT WARNING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE." "WATCH FOR THE TELLTALE SIGNS OF CORRUPTION." "THE MINUTE YOUR SON LEAVES THE HOUSE," "DOES HE REBUCKLE HIS KNICKERBOCKERS" "BELOW THE KNEE?" "IS THERE A NICOTINE STAIN" "ON HIS INDEX FINGER?" "A DIME NOVEL HIDDEN IN THE CORN CRIB?" "IS HE STARTING TO MEMORIZE JOKES" "FROMCAPTAIN BILLY'S WHIZ BANG?" "ARE CERTAIN WORDS" "CREEPING INTO HIS CONVERSATION?" "WORDS LIKE," "LIKE "SWELL"" "AND "SO'S YOUR OLD MAN"?" "IF SO, MY FRIENDS... ♪♪ YOU GOT TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY" "♪♪ WITH A CAPITAL "T" AND THAT RHYMES WITH "P" ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ AND THAT STANDS FOR POOL" "♪♪ WE SURELY GOT TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY" "♪♪ REMEMBER THEMAINE, PLYMOUTH ROCK ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THE GOLDEN RULE ♪♪" "♪♪ OUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN GONNA HAVE TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ OH HO, WE GOT TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ WE'RE IN TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ THAT GAME WITH THE 15 NUMBERED BALLS ♪" "♪♪ IS THE DEVIL'S TOOL ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, YES, WE'VE GOT TROUBL E TROUBLE TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ WE'VE GOT BIG, BIG TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A CAPITAL "T" ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ AND THAT RHYMES WITH "P"" "♪♪ AND THAT STANDS FOR POOL ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT STANDS FOR POOL ♪♪" "♪♪ REMEMBER, MY FRIENDS, LISTEN TO ME ♪♪" "♪♪ BECAUSE I PASS THIS WAY BUT ONCE ♪♪" "♪♪ TROUBLE, TROUBLE, TROUBLE, TROUBLE... ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, WE GOT TROUBL E TROUBLE, TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A CAPITAL "T" AN D THAT RHYMES WITH "P" ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THAT STANDS FOR POOL ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ STANDS FOR POOL ♪" "♪♪ SAY WE GOT TROUBLE, TROUBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY ♪♪" "♪♪ GOTTA FIGURE OUT A WAY ♪♪" "♪♪ TO KEEP THE YOUNG ONE S MORAL AFTER SCHOOL ♪♪" "DID YOU DROP YOUR" "NO." "DIDN'T I MEET YOU IN" "NO." "I'LL ONLY BE IN TOWN A SHORT WHILE." "GOOD!" "[PIANO PLAYING]" "♪♪#" "♪♪" "HELLO, MAMA." "KEEP ON, AMARYLLIS." "I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE." "♪♪#" "♪♪" "♪♪" "THAT'S FINE." "NOW DO YOUR EXERCISES." "LIBRARY OPEN LATER THAN USUAL" "TONIGHT, DEAR?" "IT ALWAYS IS, MAMA." "A MAN WITH A SUITCASE FOLLOWED ME HOME." "OH?" "WHO?" "I NEVER SAW HIM BEFORE." "DID HE SAY ANYTHING?" "HE TRIED." "DID YOU SAY ANYTHING?" "OF COURSE NOT, MAMA." "NOW, DON'T DAWDLE, AMARYLLIS." "♪♪ SOL, DO, LA, RE, TI, MI ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ A LITTLE SLOWER ♪" "♪ ♪♪ AND PLEASE KEEP THE FINGERS CURVED ♪" "♪♪ AS NICE AND HIGH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN ♪♪" "DON'T GET FASTER, DEAR." "IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING SO, IT WOULDN'T HAVE HURT YOU" "TO HAVE FOUND OUT WHAT THE GENTLEMAN WANTED." "I KNOW WHAT THE GENTLEMAN WANTED." "WHAT, DEAR?" "YOU'LL FIND IT IN BALZAC." "EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING, BUT I NEVER READ IT." "♪♪ NEITHER HAS ANYONE ELSE IN THIS TOWN ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE YOU GO AGAIN WITH THE SAME OLD COMMENT ♪♪" "♪♪ ABOUT THE LOW MENTALITY OF RIVER CITY PEOPLE ♪♪" "♪♪ AND TAKIN' IT ALL TOO MUCH TO HEART ♪♪" "NOW, MAMA," "♪♪ AS LONG AS THE MADISO N PUBLIC LIBRARY ♪♪" "♪♪ WAS ENTRUSTED TO ME ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR THE PURPOSE OF IMPROVING ♪♪" "♪♪ RIVER CITY'S CULTURAL LEVEL ♪♪" "♪♪ I CAN'T HELP MY CONCERN ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT THE LADIES OF RIVER CITY ♪♪" "♪♪ KEEP IGNORING ALL MY COUNSEL AND ADVICE ♪♪" "BUT DARLING," "♪♪ WHEN A WOMAN HAS A HUSBAND ♪♪" "♪♪ AND YOU'VE GOT NONE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHY SHOULD SHE TAKE ADVICE FROM YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ EVEN IF YOU CAN QUOTE BALZAC AND SHAKESPEARE ♪♪" "♪♪ AND ALL THEM OTHER HIGHFALUTIN' GREEKS?" "♪♪" "♪♪ IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYIN' SO ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU HAVE A BAD HABIT ♪♪" "♪♪ OF CHANGIN' EVERY SUBJECT ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, I HAVEN'T CHANGED THE SUBJECT ♪♪" "♪♪ I WAS TALKIN' ABOUT THAT STRANGER ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT STRANGER?" "♪♪" "♪♪ WITH THE SUITCASE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHO MAY BE YOUR VERY LAST CHANCE ♪♪" "♪♪ DO YOU THINK THAT I'D ALLOW ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ A COMMON MASHER?" "♪♪ ♪♪ NOW REALLY, MAMA" "♪♪ I HAVE MY STANDARDS ♪♪" "♪♪ WHERE MEN ARE CONCERNED ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I HAVE NO INTENTION-- ♪♪" "♪♪ I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR STANDARDS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYIN' SO ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE'S NOT A MAN ALIVE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHO COULD HOPE TO MEASURE UP TO THAT BLEND ♪♪" "♪♪ OF PAUL BUNYAN, ST." "PAT, AND NOAH WEBSTER ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU'VE CONCOCTED FOR YOURSELF ♪♪" "♪♪ OUT OF YOUR IRISH IMAGINATION ♪♪" "♪♪ YOUR IOWA STUBBORNNESS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND YOUR LIBRARY FULL OF BOOKS ♪♪" "IF THAT ISN'T THE BEST I'VE HEARD!" "THANK YOU." "CAN I HAVE A DRINK?" "MAYI" "MAY I HAVE A DRINK?" "YES, YOU MAY." "[DOOR CREAKS]" "HELLO, WINTHROP." "WINTHROP, IT'S AFTER DARK." "I'M HAVING A PARTY ON SATURDAY." "WILL YOU PLEASE COME?" "IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY NICE PARTY." "I'D ESPECIALLY LIKE IT" "IF YOU'D COME." "WELL, WINTHROP," "ARE YOU GOING OR AREN'T YOU?" "NO." "NO, WHAT?" "NO, THANK YOU." "YOU KNOW THE LITTLE GIRL'S NAME." "I'LL BET HE WON'T SAY IT." "NO, THANK YOU,WHO?" "NO, THANK YOU, AMARYLLITH." "AMARYLLITH!" "HA HA HA!" "HA HA HA!" "HE'S CRYING!" "HELLO, WINTHROP." "YOU DIDN'T SAY HELLO TO YOUR SISTER." "HE HATES TO SAY AMARYLLIS" "BECAUSE OF THE LISP." "HE'S ASHAMED." "WE KNOW ALL ABOUT HIS LISP." "WHY SHOULD HE GET SO MAD AT PEOPLE" "JUST BECAUSE HE LISPS?" "THAT'S PART OF IT." "WHAT'S THE REST OF IT?" "NEVER MIND." "IT'S JUST THAT HE NEVER TALKS VERY MUCH." "NOT EVEN TO YOU AND YOUR MOTHER?" "NO." "WE HAVE TO BE VERY PATIENT." "I'M PATIENT." "I EVEN SAY GOOD NIGHT TO HIM" "ON THE EVENING STAR EVERY NIGHT." "GOOD NIGHT, MY WINTHROP." "GOOD NIGHT." "SLEEP TIGHT." "AND HE NEVER" "SAYS ANYTHING TO ME." "OH, DARLING, DON'T CRY." "YOU'LL HAVE LOTS OF TIME FOR SWEETHEARTS." "IF NOT WINTHROP, THEN SOMEONE ELSE." "NEVER." "I'LL END UP AN OLD MAID LIKE YOU." "I'M SORRY, MISS MARIAN." "CAN I PLAY MY CROSS-HAND PIECE?" "MAYI" "MAY I PLAY MY CROSS-HAND PIECE?" "YES, YOU MAY." "IF A GIRL DOESN'T HAVE A SWEETHEART," "WHO IS SHE GOING TO SAY GOOD NIGHT TO" "ON THE EVENING STAR?" "FOR THE TIME BEING, YOU CAN JUST SAY," ""GOOD NIGHT, MY SOMEONE."" "THEN YOU CAN PUT THE NAME IN" "WHEN THE RIGHT SOMEONE COMES ALONG." "ALL RIGHT." "IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING." "YES, IT IS." "NOW YOU CAN PLAY YOUR CROSS-HAND PIECE." "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT, MY SOMEONE ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT, MY LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ SLEEP TIGHT, MY SOMEONE ♪♪" "♪♪ SLEEP TIGHT, MY LOVE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ OUR STAR IS SHINING ♪" "♪ ♪♪ ITS BRIGHTEST LIGHT ♪" "♪♪ FOR GOOD NIGHT, MY LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR GOOD NIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ SWEET DREAMS BE YOURS, DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ IF DREAMS THERE BE ♪♪" "♪♪ SWEET DREAMS TO CARRY YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ CLOSE TO ME ♪♪" "♪♪ I WISH THEY MAY ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I WISH THEY MIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ NOW GOOD NIGHT, MY SOMEONE ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ TRUE LOVE CAN BE WHISPERED ♪♪" "♪♪ FROM HEART TO HEART ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN LOVERS ARE PARTED, THEY SAY ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT I MUST DEPEND ON ♪♪" "♪♪ A WISH AND A STAR ♪♪" "♪♪ AS LONG AS MY HEART ♪♪" "♪♪ DOESN'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE ♪♪" "♪♪ SWEET DREAMS BE YOURS, DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ IF DREAMS THERE BE ♪♪" "♪♪ SWEET DREAMS TO CARRY YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ CLOSE TO ME ♪♪" "♪♪ I WISH THEY MAY ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I WISH THEY MIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ NOW GOOD NIGHT, MY SOMEONE ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, COLUMBIA, THE GEM OF THE OCEAN ♪♪" "♪♪ THE HOME OF THE BRAVE AND THE FREE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ THE SHRINE OF EACH PATRIOT'S DEVOTION ♪" "♪♪ A WORLD OFFERS HOMAGE TO THEE ♪♪" "♪♪ THY MANDATES MAKE HEROES ASSEMBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN LIBERTY'S FORM STANDS IN VIEW ♪♪" "♪♪ THY BANNERS MAKE TYRANNY TREMBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN BORNE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ BY THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE ♪" "♪♪ WHEN BORNE BY THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN BORNE BY THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE ♪♪" "♪♪ THY BANNERS MAKE TYRANNY TREMBLE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN BORNE BY THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE ♪♪" "I'M SURE WE'RE ALL GRATEFUL TO MY WIFE," "EULALIE MACKECKNIE SHINN," "FOR LEADING THE SINGING." "[APPLAUSE]" "AND TO ETHEL TOFFELMIER," "OUR FINE PLAYER-PIANO PLAYER..." "PIANO." "[APPLAUSE]" "AS MAYOR OF RIVER CITY," "I WELCOME YOU RIVER CITY-ZEANS" "TO THE 4th OF JULY EXERCISES" "SET UP FOR THE INDOORS HERE IN MADISON GYMNASIUM" "ON ACCOUNT OF THE WEATHER BEING SO CHANCY." "[MURMURING]" ""FOURSCORE--"" "[CLACK CLACK CLACK]" "[CLACK CLACK CLACK]" "[CLACK CLACK CLACK]" "[CLACK CLACK CLACK]" ""FOURSCORE--"" "THE MEMBERS OF THE SCHOOL BOARD" "WILL NOW PRESENT A PATRIOTIC TABLEAU." "OH." "OH." "THE MEMBERS OF THE SCHOOL BOARD" "WILLNOTPRESENT A PATRIOTIC TABLEAU." "SOME DISAGREEMENT ABOUT COSTUMES, I SUPPOSE." "INSTEAD, THE WA TAN YE GIRLS" "OF THE LOCAL WIGWAM OF HIAWATHA" "WILL PRESENT A SPECTACLE," "MY WIFE." "HA HA HA!" "IN WHICH MY WIFE, EULALIE MACKECKNIE SHINN," "WILL TAKE A LEADING PART." "[APPLAUSE]" "I WILL COUNT TO 2O" "IN THE INDIAN TONGUE." "EEN, TEEN, TEATHER FEATHER, FIP." "SAINTY, LAITY, CORIA PREDIP." "EENDIK, TEENDIK," "TEATHERDIK, FEATHERDIK" "[BOOM]" "AAH!" "I'M SHOT!" "THEY'VE SHOT ME!" "THEY'VE SHOT ME!" "WHO SET OFF THAT FIRECRACKER?" "TOMMY DJILAS DID IT!" "YES, TOMMY DJILAS." "I WOULDN'T LEAVE IF I WERE YOU." "MRS. SHINN..." "WILL RECOVER." "NO THANKS TO A CERTAIN YOUNG RUFFIAN" "WHO IS A DISGRACE TO OUR CITY!" ""FOURSCORE..." "AND SEVEN YEARS AGO, OUR--"" "THE PAINE'S FIREWORKS SPECTACLE," ""THE LAST DAYS OF POMP-EE-II,"" "WILL TAKE PLACE AT 9:3O," "PROVIDING IT ISN'T RAINING." "IT WILL BE OVER AT THE MADISON PICNIC PARK" "ACROSS THE CRICK FROM THE PEST HOUSE." "WHAT'S THIS TALK ABOUT RAIN?" "DIDN'TTHE GAZETTE PREDICT FAIR?" "IT DID." "THAT'S WHY WE ALL PREPARED FOR A STORM." "MY PAPER'S ACCURATE MOST OF THE TIME." "I WOULDN'T LAST IN BANKING" "BEING MOSTLY ACCURATE!" "WILL YOU MEMBERS OF THE SCHOOL BOARD" "STOP BICKERING IN PUBLIC?" "NEVER MIND!" ""FOURSCORE--"" "WE HEARD THERE'S A POOL TABLE IN TOWN." "I HEARD THAT!" "JUST A MINUTE!" "IS IT A POOL TABLE OR ISN'T IT?" "WILL YOU ALLOW ME TO GET ON WITH THE EXERCISES?" "NOT UNTIL WE SETTLE" "THIS POOL TABLE MATTER!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "LET'S PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!" "WE'VE GOTTA PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!" "RESIST SIN AND CORRUPTION!" "RESIST SIN AND CORRUPTION!" "LET'S SMITE THAT DEVIL" "AND KEEP OUR YOUNG BOYS PURE!" "PURE BOYS!" "FOLKS, LISTEN." "♪♪ MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ ATTENTION, PLEASE ♪♪" "♪♪ I CAN DEAL WITH THE TROUBLE, FRIENDS ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A WAVE OF MY HAND ♪♪" "♪♪ THIS VERY HAND ♪♪" "♪♪ PLEASE OBSERVE ME, IF YOU WILL ♪♪" "♪♪ I'M PROFESSOR HAROLD HILL ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I'M HERE TO ORGANIZE A RIVER CITY BOYS' BAND ♪♪" "♪♪ BRR-RR-RMP!" "♪♪" "♪♪ OH, THINK, MY FRIENDS ♪♪" "♪♪ HOW CAN ANY POOL TABLE EVER HOPE TO COMPETE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A GOLD TROMBONE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ BRRAA DA RA DA DA DAT DA RA RA ♪♪" "♪♪ REMEMBER, MY FRIENDS ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT A HANDFUL OF TRUMPET PLAYERS DID ♪♪" "♪♪ TO THE FAMOUS, FABLED WALLS OF JERICHO ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, BILLIARD PARLOR WALLS COME A-TUMBLIN' DOWN ♪♪" "♪♪ WELL, A BAND WILL DO IT, MY FRIENDS ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, YES, I SAID A BOYS' BAND ♪♪" "♪♪ DO YOU HEAR ME?" "♪♪" "♪♪ I SAID RIVER CITY GOTTA HAVE A BOYS' BAND ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I MEAN SHE NEEDS IT TODAY ♪♪" "♪♪ WELL, PROFESSOR HAROLD HILL'S ON HAND ♪♪" "♪♪ RIVER CITY'S GONNA HAVE HER BOYS' BAND ♪♪" "♪♪ AS SURE AS THE LORD MADE LITTLE GREEN APPLES ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THAT BAND'S GONNA BE IN UNIFORM ♪♪" "♪♪ JOHNNY, WILLY, TEDDY, FRED ♪♪" "♪♪ AND YOU SEE THE GLITTER OF CRASHING CYMBALS ♪♪" "♪♪ YOU HEAR THE THUNDER OF ROLLING DRUMS ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THE SHIMMER OF TRUMPETS ♪♪" "♪♪ TUM TA DA!" "♪♪" "♪♪ AND YOU'LL FEEL SOMETHING AKIN TO THE ELECTRIC THRILL ♪♪" "♪♪ I ONCE ENJOYED ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN GILMORE, PAT CONWAY ♪♪" "♪♪ THE GREAT CREATOR W.C. HANDY ♪♪" "♪♪ AND JOHN PHILIP SOUSA ♪♪" "♪♪ ALL CAME TO TOWN ON THE VERY SAME HISTORIC DAY ♪♪" "♪♪ 76 TROMBONES LED THE BIG PARADE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH 11O CORNETS CLOSE AT HAND ♪♪" "♪♪ THEY WERE FOLLOWED BY ROWS AND ROWS ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ OF THE FINEST VIRTUOSOS ♪" "♪♪ THE CREAM OF EVERY FAMOUS BAND ♪♪" "♪♪ 76 TROMBONES CAUGHT THE MORNING SUN ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH 11O CORNETS RIGHT BEHIND ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE MORE THAN A THOUSAND REEDS ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ SPRINGING UP LIKE WEEDS ♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE HORNS OF EVERY SHAPE AND KIND ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE COPPER-BOTTOM TIMPANI ♪♪" "♪♪ IN HORSE PLATOONS ♪♪" "♪♪ THUNDERING, THUNDERING ALL ALONG THE WAY ♪♪" "♪♪ DOUBLE-BELL EUPHONIUMS AND BIG BASSOONS ♪♪" "♪♪ EACH BASSOON HAVING HIS BIG FAT SAY ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE 5O MOUNTED CANNON IN THE BATTERY ♪♪" "♪♪ THUNDERING, THUNDERING LOUDER THAN BEFORE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ CLARINETS OF EVERY SIZE ♪" "♪♪ AND TRUMPETERS WHO'D IMPROVISE ♪♪" "♪♪ A FULL OCTAVE HIGHER THAN THE SCORE ♪♪" "OH!" "OH!" "♪♪ 76 TROMBONES HIT THE COUNTERPOINT ♪♪" "♪♪ WHILE 11O CORNETS BLAZED AWAY ♪♪" "♪♪ TO THE RHYTHM OF HARCH!" "HARCH!" "HARCH!" "♪♪" "♪♪ ALL THE KIDS BEGAN TO MARCH ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THEY'RE MARCHING STILL RIGHT TODAY ♪♪" "AIN'T NOTHIN' LIKE A BRASS BAND" "TO STIR A FELLOW UP." "WHEN I HEAR THEM TROMBONES..." "IT'S THEM PECK HORNS THAT REALLY DOES IT." "BET YOU ESTHERVILLE AIN'T GOT ANYTHING LIKE IT." "OR EVEN DES MOINES." "I'LL STAKE MY RIVER CITY BAND" "AGAINST ANY TOWN WEST OF CHICAGO." "WHAT BAND?" "HONESTLY, A BUNCH OF GROWN MEN!" "ALONG COMES THIS FLY-BY-NIGHT SALESMAN," "AND YOU'RE ALL TAKEN IN." "SHE'S RIGHT!" "THE MAN'S A SPELLBINDER!" "I HAVEN'T SEEN IOWA PEOPLE GET SO EXCITED" "SINCE FRANK GOTCH AND STRANGLER LEWIS" "LAY ON THE MAT FOR 3 1/2 HOURS WITHOUT MOVING." "THAT WAS EXCITING." "NEVER MIND!" "MEN, THIS CALLS FOR EMERGENCY ACTION." "I WANT THAT MAN'S CREDENTIALS." "GRAB THAT HOODLUM!" "HE ALMOST BLEW UP MRS. SHINN." "GREAT HONK!" "LET ME GO!" "HAVE TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF THIS ONE." "RINGLEADER, YOU KNOW." "EVERYTHING HE DOES, THE GANG DOES." "YOU WILD KID." "HANGING AROUND MY OLDEST GIRL!" "HIS FATHER'S ONE OF THEM LITHUANIANS SOUTH OF TOWN." "WHAT DID I DO?" "TAGGING DOWN MAIN STREET AFTER MY OLDEST GIRL." "I WASN'T EITHER TAGGING." "DON'T YOU COUNTERDICT ME." "WE'S JUST WALKING!" "GREAT HONK!" "YOU WATCH YOUR PHRASEOLOGY!" "I KNOW WHAT YOU WAS DOING." "MY LITTLE GRACIE SEEN YOU." "STAY AWAY FROM MY OLDEST GIRL" "OR YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME." "HILL, I'LL TALK TO YOU MONDAY MORNING" "ABOUT THIS BAND THING RIGHT HERE IN CITY HALL. 10:00 SHARP." "CONSTABLE, I'LL BE RESPONSIBLE" "FOR THE BOY." "YOU DON'T KNOW THIS KID." "HE'S TOUGH." "PROBABLY GOT HIS GANG WAITING AROUND THE CORNER." "OH, I'LL BE CAREFUL." "TOMMY, LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BAND." "GEE, THAT'S FOR THE LITTLE KIDS." "YOU WON'T PLAY IN THE BAND." "LOOK, YOU'RE MECHANICALLY MINDED." "HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING WITH PERPETUAL MOTION?" "YEAH, I NEARLY HAD IT A COUPLE TIMES." "WELL, YOU'RE MY MAN." "DO YOU REALIZE NOBODY HAS EVER INVENTED" "A MUSIC HOLDER" "FOR A MARCHING PICCOLO PLAYER." "THERE'S NO PLACE TO HANG MUSIC." "WHERE COULD I GET SOME WIRE?" "LOOK IN YOUR CELLAR." "THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE KEEP WIRE." "TOMMY!" "YES, SIR?" "CONSTABLE, HERE'S HOW TO BREAK UP A GANG." "MISS, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" "ZANEETA." "I DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEA" "YOU WAS BECKONING TO ME?" "YE GODS!" "DO YOU KNOW TOMMY DJILAS?" "TOMMY, THIS IS ZANEETA." "ESCORT THE YOUNG LADY HOME." "I HAVE TO GO TO THE LIBRARY." "YE GODS!" "ESCORT THE YOUNG LADY HOME BY WAY OF THE LIBRARY" "BY WAY OF THE CANDY KITCHEN." "YES, SIR!" "DO I HAFTA?" "OH, YOU HAFTA." "YES, SIR!" "YE GODS!" "PROFESSOR, YOU'RE PRETTY BRIGHT," "ONLY YOU MADE TWO MISTAKES." "OH?" "THE MAYOR OWNS THAT BILLIARD PARLOR" "AND THAT NEW POOL TABLE." "YOU DON'T SAY." "WHAT WAS MY OTHER MISTAKE?" "THAT ZANEETA," "SHE'S THE MAYOR'S OLDEST GIRL." "[WHISTLES76 TROMBONES]" "[WHISTLE]" "GOOD EVENING, LADIES." "HA HA HA!" "HA HA HA!" "JUST A MINUTE, PROFESSOR HILL." "SORRY, PROFESSOR, BUT WE'RE THE SCHOOL BOARD." "WE NEED YOUR CREDENTIALS." "ACADEMIC CERTIFICATES." "NOTHING OF THE KIND." "WE NEED LETTERS AND PAPERS." "MAKE HIM PUT UP A BOND." "WHAT AM I HEARING?" "YOU, SIR." "♪♪" "♪♪ SAY "ICE CREAM" ♪♪" "I DON'T SING." "TALK, THEN." "[DEEP VOICE] DOWN HERE." "♪♪ ICE CREAM ♪♪" "ICE CREAM." "♪♪ TALK SLOW ♪♪" "♪♪ ICE CREAM ♪♪" "SINGING IS JUST SUSTAINED TALKING." "NOW YOU, SIR." "♪♪ ICE CREAM ♪♪" "NOW YOU, SIR." "♪♪ ICE CREAM ♪♪" "NOW YOU, SIR." "♪♪ IIICE CREEEAM ♪♪" "LADIES, FROM NOW ON," "YOU'LL NEVER SEE ONE OF THOSE MEN" "WITHOUT THE OTHER THREE." "PROFESSOR, YOU'RE WRONG." "THEY'VE HATED EACH OTHER FOR 15 YEARS." "♪♪ ICE CREAM ♪♪" "♪♪ ICE CREAM ♪♪" "♪♪ ICE CREAM ♪♪" "WELL!" "YOU GO AHEAD, MOM." "I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE." "LET'S TRY IT AGAIN." "♪♪ HOW CAN THERE BE ♪♪" "♪♪ ANY SIN IN SINCERE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ WHERE IS THE GOOD IN GOOD-BYE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ IN GOOD-BYYYE ♪♪" "♪♪ YOUR APPREHENSIONS ♪♪" "YOUR APPREHENSIONS CONFUSE ME, DEAR." "♪♪ CONFUSE ME, DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ PUZZLE AND MYSTIFY ♪♪" "♪♪ MYSTIFY ♪♪" "♪♪ TELL ME ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT CAN BE FAIR ♪♪" "♪♪ IN FAREWELL, DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ WHILE ONE SINGLE STAR SHINES ♪♪" "♪♪ ABOOOoooOOOVE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ HOW CAN THERE BE ANY SIN ♪♪" "♪♪ IN SINCERE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ AREN'T WE SINCERELY ♪♪" "♪♪ IN LOVE?" "♪♪" "♪♪ OH, WE'RE IN LOVE ♪♪" "I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU LIVE ALONE OR ANYTHING." "NO." "I HAVE SOME WONDERFUL CARAMELS OVER THE HOTEL" "MR. HILL" "OH, PLEASE, PLEASE!" "PROFESSOR HILL!" "PROFESSOR?" "OF WHAT?" "AT WHAT COLLEGE DO THEY GIVE A DEGREE" "FOR ACCOSTING WOMEN LIKE A SATURDAY NIGHT" "ROWDY AT A PUBLIC DANCE HALL?" "I WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT." "I'M A CONSERVATORY MAN." "GARY, INDIANA." "GOLD MEDAL CLASS OF 'O5." "EVEN IF THAT'S TRUE," "I'M NOT EASILY MESMERIZED." "I AM NOT IMPRESSED BY YOUR CREDENTIALS," "WHICH I HAVE NOT SEEN," "NOR YOUR MANNERS, WHICH I HAVE!" "[WHISTLE]" "Hill:" "IT'S A GOLDEN KEY, AS IT WERE." "YOUR KEY TO THE MAGIC WORLD OF MUSIC." "NONE OF OUR FAMILY HAS EVER BEEN" "WHAT YOU'D CALL MUSICAL." "OH, MADAM, THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW." "THE MAIN THING IS IMAGINATION AND PROPER INSTRUCTION." "AH." "NOW YOU, YOUNG MAN, REPEAT AFTER ME." "[WHISTLES]" "♪ ♪♪ I LOVE MUSIC, MOMMY ♪" "[OFF KEY] ♪♪ I LOVE MUSIC, MOMMY ♪♪" "NOW YOU, YOUNG MAN." "[WHISTLES]" "♪♪ ME, TOO, MOMMY ♪♪" "[OFF KEY] ♪♪ ME, TOO, MOMMY ♪♪" "OH, MADAM, IT'S AMAZING." "2 MEMBERS OF THE SAME FAMILY WITH ABSOLUTELY PERFECT PITCH." "SIGN HERE, MADAM." "YOU SURE CUT A SWATH" "DOWN AT THE HIGH SCHOOL YESTERDAY." "YEAH." "WHEN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ALL THEM TROMBONES," "YOU LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU USED TO BACK IN JOPLIN." "JOPLIN?" "YEAH." "WHEN YOU USED TO IMITATE" "THAT ITALIAN BANDLEADER IN THE PARK." "OH, YEAH." "♪♪ LA TA TA TA ♪♪" "♪♪ TA TA TUM TA DA TA DA ♪♪" "OH, THAT'S KID STUFF." "I'M IN RARE FORM THESE DAYS, SON." "JUST YOU KEEP YOUR EYE ON ME FOR THE NEXT 4 WEEKS." "4 WEEKS?" "YOU USED TO GET THE INSTRUMENTS IN 10 DAYS." "OH, I STILL DO, BUT IT TAKES 4 WEEKS FOR THE UNIFORMS." "UNIFORMS?" "YOU'VE ADDED UNIFORMS?" "UNIFORMS AND INSTRUCTION BOOKS." "I FIGURE WHAT'S THE USE OF WARMING UP" "IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PITCH?" "YOU CAN'T PASS YOURSELF OFF" "AS A MUSIC PROFESSOR FOR 4 WEEKS." "YOU CAN'T READ A NOTE OF MUSIC." "I NOW HAVE A REVOLUTIONARY NEW METHOD CALLED THE THINK SYSTEM," "WHERE YOU DON'T BOTHER WITH NOTES." "MY BOY, SOMEDAY READING MUSIC" "IS GOING TO BE ABSOLUTELY OBSOLETE." "I HOPE IT'S SOON, 'CAUSE IN 4 WEEKS" "THESE PEOPLE ARE GONNA WANNA HEAR SOME MUSIC." "YEAH, BUT WHEN THE UNIFORMS ARRIVE," "THEY FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE." "AT LEAST LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO COLLECT AND LEAVE." "OH, THIS IS A REFINED OPERATION, SON," "AND I'VE GOT IT TIMED RIGHT DOWN" "TO THE LAST WAVE OF THE BRAKEMAN'S HAND" "ON THE LAST TRAIN OUT OF TOWN." "[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]" "GOOD EVENING, LADIES." "GOOD EVENING, LADIES." "OHH." "OHH." "PROFESSOR HILL, WE'RE ALL AGOG." "YES." "SIMPLY AGOG." "ON THEQUE VIVE." "EVERYBODY'S SO EXCITED ABOUT THE BAND." "I'M ETHEL TOFFELMIER, THE PIANOLA GIRL." "AND THIS IS AVIS GRUBB." "HOW DO YOU DO?" "AND MRS. HICKS." "HELLO." "AND MRS. SQUIRES." "AND OF COURSE, YOU'VE MET EULALIE MACKECKNIE SHINN," "OUR MAYOR'S WIFE." "YES, INDEED." "OH, YES." "ISN'T IT EXCITING, EULALIE?" "I COULDN'T SAY." "OH, NO, I COULD NOT SAY." "I COULD NOT SAY AT THIS TIME." "MY HUSBAND WILL WISH TO INVESTIGATE, I'M SURE," "AND NATURALLY I'M RETICENT." "OH, YES, I'M RETICENT." "YES, OF COURSE." "I UNDERSTAND, MRS. SHINN." "BUT YOU SEE, PART OF MY MUSIC PLANS" "INCLUDE A COMMITTEE ON THE DANCE," "AND I WAS THINKING" "OH, DO THAT AGAIN, MRS. SHINN." "DO WHAT?" "WHAT DID I DO?" "YOUR FOOT." "THE WAY YOU RAISED IT JUST NOW." "OH, WELL, I HAVE A BUNION THERE THAT BOTHERS ME." "OH, WHAT GRACE." "OH, MR. HILL." "WHAT NATURAL FLOW OF RHYTHM." "OH, OH, MR. HILL." "WHAT EXPRESSION OF LINE AND MOVEMENT." "MOVEMENT." "OH, YOU MUST ACCEPT THE CHAIRMANSHIP" "OF THE LADIES' AUXILIARY FOR THE CLASSIC DANCE." "MUSTN'T SHE, LADIES?" "YES." "YES." "MRS. SHINN, YOUR EVERY MOVE BESPEAKS DEL SARTRE." "WILL YOU?" "WILL YOU?" "SAY YES, MRS. SHINN." "WELL, I--THAT IS" "DANCING, WELL." "THEN YOU ACCEPT." "YES, INDEED, AND I WOULD LIKE TO SAY" "OH, THANK YOU, MRS. SHINN." "OH, HO HO." "[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]" "AND NOW THE YOUNG LADY WHO TEACHES THE PIANO." "MARIAN PAROO, I BELIEVE." "OHH!" "OHH!" "OHH!" "WELL, AFTER ALL, SHE IS THE LIBRARIAN." "SHE MUST HAVE PICKED HIM OUT." "TALKING UP TO A MAN LIKE THAT." "HE WOULDN'T TALK UP ABOUT IT" "IF SHE DIDN'T TRY TURKEY TALKING TO HIM." "DON'T YOU TAKE HER TICKET AND PUNCH IT FOR HER." "PICKED HER UP FIRST CRACK LIKE A CHEAP JACK." "NOT MUCH PICK TO HER IF YOU ASK ME." "PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LOT." "PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE." "CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP." "TALK A LOT, PICK A LITTLE." "PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE," "PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE," "CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP." "♪♪ ♪♪ PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE" "♪♪ CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP ♪♪" "♪♪ TALK A LOT, PICK A LITTLE MORE ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE" "♪♪ PICK A LITTLE, TALK, CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP ♪♪" "♪♪ TALK A LOT, PICK A LITTLE MORE ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE" "♪♪ CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP ♪♪" "PROFESSOR, HER KIND OF WOMAN DOESN'T BELONG ON ANY COMMITTEE." "OF COURSE, I SHOULDN'T TELL YOU THIS," "BUT SHE ADVOCATES DIRTY BOOKS." "DIRTY BOOKS?" "CHAUCER." "RABELAIS." "BALZAC." "♪♪ CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP ♪♪" "AND THE WORST THING" "OF COURSE, I SHOULDN'T TELL YOU THIS." "I'LL TELL." "THE MAN LIVED ON MY STREET." "LET ME TELL." "NO." "I'LL TELL." "SHE MADE BRAZEN OVERTURES TO A MAN" "WHO NEVER HAD A FRIEND IN THIS TOWN" "UNTIL SHE CAME HERE." "OLD MISER MADISON." "MISER MADISON?" "MISER-- MADISON." "MADISON PICNIC PARK?" "MADISON GYMNASIUM?" "MADISON HOSPITAL?" "THAT MISER MADISON?" "EXACTLY." "WHO DID HE THINK HE WAS, ANYWAY?" "I SHOULD SAY." "THE SHOW-OFF." "HE GAVE THE TOWN THE LIBRARY, DIDN'T HE?" "THAT'S JUST IT." "WHEN HE DIED," "HE LEFT THE LIBRARY BUILDING TO THE CITY." "BUT HE LEFT ALL THE BOOKS TO HER." "SHE WAS SEEN GOING" "AND COMING FROM HIS PLACE." "♪♪ OH, YES, THAT WOMAN MADE BRAZEN OVERTURES ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH A GUILT THAT'S GUARANTEED ♪♪" "♪♪ SHE HAD A GOLDEN GLINT IN HER EYE ♪♪" "♪♪ AND A SILVER VOICE WITH A COUNTERFEIT RING ♪♪" "♪♪ JUST MELT HER DOWN ♪♪" "♪♪ AND YOU'LL REVEAL A LUMP OF LEAD AS COLD AS STEEL HERE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHERE A WOMAN'S HEART SHOULD BE ♪♪" "♪♪ HE LEFT RIVER CITY THE LIBRARY BUILDING ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT HE LEFT ALL THE BOOKS TO HER ♪♪" "♪♪ CHAUCER ♪♪" "♪♪ RABELAIS ♪♪" "♪♪ BALZAC ♪♪" "♪♪ CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE" "JUST A MINUTE HERE, PROFESSOR." "SORRY." "WE NEED YOUR CREDENTIALS." "WHY, CERTAINLY, GENTLEMEN." "I HAVE JUST WHAT YOU WANT OVER AT MY HOTEL." "PLEASE COME WITH ME." "GOOD NIGHT, LADIES." "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT, LADIES ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT, LADIES ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT, LADIES ♪♪" "♪♪ WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE YOU NOW ♪♪" "♪♪ FAREWELL, LADIES ♪♪" "♪♪ PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE ♪♪" "♪♪ FAREWELL, LADIES ♪♪" "♪♪ PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE ♪♪" "♪♪ CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP ♪♪" "♪♪ WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE YOU NOW ♪♪" "♪♪ CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP ♪♪" "♪♪ PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE, CHEAP ♪♪" "[HORSE WHINNIES]" "[WHISTLING]" "[HORSE WHINNIES]" "CAN I VISIT THE HORSES?" "MAY I?" "MAY I VISIT THE HORSES?" "WELL, IT'S NOT VISITING HOURS, BUT ALL RIGHT." "[WHISTLES]" "WHAT A BEAUTIFUL EVENING." "YEAH, NOT BAD." "NOT BAD AT ALL" "FOR A LITTLE PLACE LIKE RIVER CITY, IOWA." "SAY, WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER TO THE BOARDING HOUSE?" "WE GOT CHICKEN CROQUETS TONIGHT" "NO, I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT FOOD." "GONNA LINE YOURSELF UP A LITTLE KNOODLING, HUH?" "NO." "I GOT SOMETHING TO LOOK UP OVER AT THE LIBRARY." "FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD" "[WHISTLES]" "SAY, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME FIX YOU UP" "WITH MYRTLE TOFFELMIER, ETHEL'S SISTER?" "REAL NICE GIRL." "TEACHES SUNDAY SCHOOL." "NO WIDE-EYED, EAGER, INNOCENT SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER FOR ME." "THAT KIND OF GAL SPINS WEBS" "NOW, LISTEN, BOY." "♪♪ A GAL WHO TRADES ON ALL THAT PURITY ♪♪" "♪♪ MERELY WANTS TO TRADE MY INDEPENDENCE ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR HER SECURITY ♪♪" "♪♪ THE ONLY AFFIRMATIVE SHE WILL FILE ♪♪" "♪♪ REFERS TO MARCHING DOWN THE AISLE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ NO GOLDEN, GLORIOUS, GLEAMING, PRISTINE GODDESS ♪" "♪♪ NO, SIR ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR NO DIANA DO I PLAY FAWN ♪♪" "♪♪ I CAN TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW ♪♪" "♪♪ I SNARL, I HISS ♪♪" "♪♪ HOW CAN IGNORANCE BE COMPARED TO BLISS?" "♪♪" "♪♪ I SPARK, I FIZZ ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR THE LADY WHO KNOWS WHAT TIME IT IS ♪♪" "♪♪ I CHEER, AND I RAVE ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR THE VIRTUE I'M TOO LATE TO SAVE ♪♪" "♪♪ THE SADDER BUT WISER GIRL FOR ME ♪♪" "♪♪ NO BRIGHT-EYED, BLUSHING, BREATHLESS, BABY-DOLL BABY ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, SIR, THAT KIND OF CHILD TIES KNOTS ♪♪" "♪♪ NO SAILOR EVER KNEW ♪♪" "♪♪ I PREFER TO TAKE A CHANCE ♪♪" "♪♪ ON A MORE ADULT ROMANCE ♪♪" "♪♪ NO DEWY YOUNG MISS WHO KEEPS RESISTING ♪♪" "♪♪ ALL THE TIME SHE KEEPS INSISTING ♪♪" "♪♪ NO WIDE-EYED, WHOLESOME, INNOCENT FEMALE ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, SIR ♪♪" "♪♪ WHY, SHE'S THE FISHERMAN, I'M THE FISH, YOU SEE ♪♪" "PLOP!" "♪♪ I FLINCH, I SHY ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN THE LASS WITH THE DELICATE AIR GOES BY ♪♪" "♪♪ I SMILE, I GRIN ♪♪" "♪♪ WHEN THE GAL WITH A TOUCH OF SIN WALKS IN ♪♪" "♪♪ I HOPE, AND I PRAY ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR HESTER TO WIN JUST ONE MORE "A" ♪♪" "♪♪ THE SADDER BUT WISER GIRL'S THE GIRL FOR ME ♪♪" "♪♪ THE SADDER BUT WISER GIRL FOR ME ♪♪" "HA HA HA HA!" "[NEIGH!" "]" "NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT." "I KNOW EVERYTHING," "AND IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE." "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT." "MR. MADISON." "YOU WERE PROBABLY VERY YOUNG." "ANYONE CAN MAKE A MISTAKE." "WHAT?" "NO APOLOGIES, NO EXPLANATIONS." "I'LL ONLY BE IN TOWN A SHORT WHILE," "AND THE SADDER BUT WISER GIRL FOR ME." "WOULD YOU MAKE YOUR SELECTION AND LEAVE?" "I HAVE." "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TAKE OUT?" "THE LIBRARIAN." "QUIET, PLEASE." "THE LIBRARIAN." "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING, MARIAN." "LOOK." "♪♪ MAR... ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ ..." "RIAN ♪" "MARBLES" "SIX STEELIES, EIGHT AGGIES," "A DOZEN PEEWEES," "AND ONE GREAT BIG GLASSIE" "WITH AN AMERICAN FLAG IN THE MIDDLE." "I THINK I'LL DROP THEM." "NO!" "SHHH!" "♪♪ MADAM LIBRAR...♪♪" "♪♪ ..." "RIAN ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, WHAT CAN I DO , MY DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ TO CATCH YOUR EAR?" "♪♪" "♪♪ I LOVE YOU MADLY, MADLY ♪♪" "♪♪ MADAM LIBRARIAN, MARIAN ♪♪" "♪♪ HEAVEN HELP US ♪♪" "♪♪ IF THE LIBRARY CAUGHT ON FIRE ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THE VOLUNTEER HOSE BRIGADE-MEN ♪♪" "♪♪ HAD TO WHISPER THE NEWS TO MAR... ♪♪" "♪♪ ..." "RIAN ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ MADAM LIBRAR... ♪" "SHHH!" "♪ ♪♪ ..." "RIAN ♪" "♪♪ OH, WHAT CAN I SAY, MY DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ TO MAKE IT CLEAR?" "♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ I NEED YOU BADLY, BADLY ♪" "♪ ♪♪ MADAM LIBRARIAN, MARIAN ♪" "♪♪ IF I STUMBLED AND I BUSTED ♪♪" "♪♪ MY WHATCHAMACALLIT ♪♪" "♪♪ I COULD LIE ON YOUR FLOOR UNNOTICED ♪♪" "♪♪ TILL MY BODY HAD TURNED TO CAR... ♪♪" "♪♪ ..." "RION ♪♪" "♪♪ MADAM LIBRAR... ♪♪" "♪♪ ..." "RIAN ♪♪" "♪♪ NOW, IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ A MAN COULD SING IT ♪♪" "♪♪ IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ AND A FELLOW WOULD KNOW ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT HIS DARLING ♪♪" "♪♪ HAD HEARD EVERY WORD OF HIS SONG ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH THE MOONLIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ HELPING ALONG ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT WHEN I TRY IN HERE ♪♪" "♪♪ TO TELL YOU, DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ I LOVE YOU MADLY, MADLY ♪♪" "♪♪ MADAM LIBRARIAN, MARIAN ♪♪" "♪♪ IT'S A LONG-LOST CAUSE ♪♪" "♪♪ I CAN NEVER WIN ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR THE CIVILIZED WORLD ACCEPTS ♪♪" "♪♪ AS UNFORGIVABLE SIN ♪♪" "♪♪ ANY TALKING OUT LOUD WITH ANY LIBRARIAN ♪♪" "♪♪ SUCH AS MAR... ♪♪" "♪♪ ..." "RIAN ♪♪" "♪♪ MADAM LIBRAR... ♪♪" "[COUGH COUGH]" "♪♪ ..." "RIAN ♪♪" "SHHH!" "AAH!" "HA HA!" "TOMMY!" "[TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAP]" "SHHH!" "♪♪ BUT WHEN I TR Y IN HERE ♪♪" "♪♪ TO TELL YOU, DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ I LOVE YOU MADLY, MADLY ♪♪" "♪♪ MADAM LIBRARIAN, MARIAN ♪♪" "♪♪ IT'S A LONG-LOST CAUSE ♪♪" "♪♪ I CAN NEVER WIN ♪♪" "♪♪ FOR THE CIVILIZED WORLD ACCEPTS ♪♪" "♪♪ AS UNFORGIVABLE SIN ♪♪" "♪♪ ANY TALKING OUT LOUD WITH ANY LIBRARIAN ♪♪" "♪♪ SUCH AS MAR... ♪♪" "LADIES DANCE COMMITTEE MEETS TUESDAY NIGHTS." "♪♪ ..." "IAN ♪♪" "MARSHMALLOW?" "[BANG]" "♪♪ MADAM LIBRAR... ♪♪" "♪♪ ..." "RIAN ♪♪" "[WHISTLING76 TROMBONES]" "HEY, PROFESSOR!" "HELLO, TOMMY!" "I THINK I'VE GOT IT." "YEAH?" "MY MUSIC HOLDER" "FOR A MARCHING PICCOLO PLAYER." "I STILL HAVE A COUPLE OF FLAWS." "EVEN EDISON DOESN'T ALWAYS GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME." "WHAT'S YOUR DIFFICULTY?" "WHEN YOU HOLD IT TIGHT ENOUGH" "TO KEEP THE MUSIC STEADY," "YOU CUT OFF THE CIRCULATION," "AND YOU CAN'T WIGGLE YOUR FINGERS." "MEANWHILE, YOU COULD GO BLIND." "I'D SAY IT STILL NEEDS SOME WORK." "LIKE TO CHECK OUT A FEW PROSPECTS WITH ME?" "YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING IN THERE?" "I DON'T SEE ANY QUARANTINE SIGN." "GEE, I GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU, PROFESSOR." "SEE YOU LATER..." "I HOPE." "[RING]" "JUST A MINUTE HERE." "ARE YOU SOLICITING?" "YOU HAVEN'T GOT A LICENSE." "WHY, NO, MR. MAYOR." "MR. MAYOR, I COLLECT DOORBELLS," "AND THIS PARTICULAR SPECIMEN" "HAS AN UNUSUAL TONE QUALITY" "FLATTERY WILL NOT AVAIL YOU." "SOLICITING IS STATUTORY IN THIS COUNTY" "MALFEASANCE WITHOUT A PERMIT." "WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN OVER TO CITY HALL" "WITH YOUR REFERENCES?" "I MUST HAVE JUST MISSED YOU." "NONE OF YOUR ALIBIS!" "MR. MAYOR!" "YOUR HAND." "ISN'T THAT AMAZING?" "WHAT?" "WHAT?" "THAT SPREAD OF THE LITTLE FINGER" "IT'S HEREDITARY." "IT IS?" "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" "WHY, IT MEANS THAT YOUR SON'S LITTLE FINGER" "IS PERFECTLY SITUATED TO OPERATE" "THE SPIT VALVE ON A B-FLAT FLUGELHORN." "IS THAT GOOD?" "GOOD?" "IT ALSO MEANS AMERICA HAS PRODUCED AN ARTIST" "WHO CAN FLUGEL THEMINUTE WALTZ" "IN 5O SECONDS." "HOW CAN I GET ONE OF THOSE HORNS?" "SIGN HERE, MR. MAYOR." "YES, SIR." "FINE, FINE." "THAT WILL BE $17 IMPORT FEE." "JUST THINK, I COULD HAVE MISSED THIS WHOLE THING." "MY SON COULD HAVE..." "I HAVEN'T GOT ANY SON!" "OH, GEORGE." "I NEVER HAD A SON!" "I NEVER SAID YOU DID." "WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" "I'D CERTAINLY KNOW IF I GAVE YOU A SON." "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU." "WELL, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?" "HIM." "WHO?" "NEVER MIND." "ZANEETA, CALL DR. PYNE FOR YOUR FATHER." "AH, YES, MY DEAR MRS. PAROO, YOU MUST REALIZE" "THAT ONLY 1 OUT OF EVERY 78 ADULTS" "HAS A GANGLION THAT REACHES THE LIGATURE" "CLEAR DOWN TO THE APEX." "THIS AUTOMATICALLY TURNS YOUR ENTIRE FACE" "INTO AN AMAZING EMBOUCHURE." "I AIN'T NEVER HAD A SICK DAY IN ME LIFE, DOCTOR." "PROFESSOR." "PROFESSOR." "WHAT SHALL I DO FOR IT?" "NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND." "I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU" "THAT YOU HAVE ALL OF THE FACIAL CHARACTERISTICS" "OF A CORNET VIRTUOSO." "IF YOUR BOY HAS THAT SAME FIRM CHIN," "THOSE SPLENDID CHEEK MUSCLES" "OH, BY GEORGE..." "NOT THAT HE COULD EVER REALLY BE GREAT, YOU UNDERSTAND." "OH, IS THAT SO?" "AND IN THE NAME OF ST." "BRIDGET, WHY NOT?" "ALL OF THE REALLY GREAT CORNET PLAYERS WERE IRISH" "O'CLARK, O'MENDEZ, O'KLEIN." "BUT, PROFESSOR, WEAREIRISH." "NO." "NO, REALLY?" "WELL, THAT CLINCHES IT." "SIGN HERE, MADAM." "YOUR BOY WAS BORN TO PLAY THE CORNET." "OH, FINE, FINE." "THAT WILL BE $7.OO EARNEST MONEY." "NOTHING MORE DUE UNTIL THE FIRST INSTALLMENT," "PAYABLE AT THE OPENING OF BAND PRACTICE." "OH, THANK YOU." "AND OF COURSE, I'LL NEED YOUR BOY'S MEASUREMENTS" "FOR HIS BAND UNIFORM." "HIS UNIFORM?" "OH, YES." "WINTHROP!" "WELL!" "HELLO THERE, SON." "WHY, CERTAINLY, HIS UNIFORM." "AND THERE WON'T BE A PENNY DUE UNTIL DELIVERY," "WHICH GIVES HIM 4 WEEKS" "TO ENJOY, TO ANTICPATE, TO IMAGINE" "AT NO COST WHATSOEVER." "NEVER ALLOW THE DEMANDS OF TOMORROW TO INTERFERE" "WITH THE PLEASURES AND EXCITEMENTS OF TODAY." "WILL IT HAVE A..." "A..." "A...?" "A STRIPE!" "WHY CERTAINLY, MY BOY!" "A WIDE RED STRIPE DOWN EACH SIDE." "NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?" "[BARKS]" "YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE WINTHROP, PROFESSOR." "WE CAN'T GET HIM TO SAY 3 WORDS A DAY" "NOT EVEN TO US." "AND IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO PLAY IN THAT BAND," "YOU'LL HAVE SAINT MICHAEL'S OWN WAY WITH YOU." "BUT IF ANYBODY CAN DO IT, I BET YOU CAN." "THANK YOU." "YOU'VE A GIFT OF THE BLARNEY ABOUT YOU" "AND NO MISTAKING ABOUT THAT." "WHERE ARE YOU FROM, MY BOY?" "GARY, INDIANA." "I KNEW IT!" "GAR-- WHAT'D YOU SAY?" "GARY, INDIANA." "IN FACT, GARY CONSERVATORY WAS MY ALMA MATER." "WAS SHE?" "OH, YES, INDEED." "GOLD MEDAL CLASS OF 'O5." "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT A WONDERFUL NAME ♪♪" "♪♪ NAMED FOR ALBERT GARY ♪♪" "♪♪ OF JUDICIARY FAME ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ AS A SHAKESPEARE WOULD SAY ♪♪" "♪♪ TRIPS ALONG SOFTLY ON THE TONGUE THIS WAY ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ LET ME SAY IT ONCE AGAIN ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT'S THE TOWN THAT KNEW ME WHEN ♪♪" "♪♪ NOW, IF YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE A LOGICAL EXPLANATION ♪♪" "♪♪ HOW I HAPPENED ON THIS ELEGANT SYNCOPATION ♪♪" "♪♪ I WILL SAY WITHOUT A MOMENT OF HESITATION ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE IS JUST ONE PLACE ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT CAN LIGHT MY FACE ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ NOT LOUISIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ PARIS, FRANCE NEW YORK, OR ROME ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ MY HOME SWEET HOME ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ MY HOME SWEET HOME ♪♪" "AAH!" "MAMA!" "HOW DO YOU DO, MISS PAROO?" "HOW DO YOU DO, MR. HILL?" "OF COURSE--PAROO!" "I THOUGHT THE NAME SOUNDED FAMILIAR." "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SEE YOU SINCE THE OTHER NIGHT." "HE WANTS TO PUT WINTHROP IN THE BAND." "WE'RE NOT INTERESTED, MAMA." "BUT THE BOY MIGHT HAVE HIS FATHER'S MUSICAL GIFT." "HE DOES HAVE MY GANGLION, YOU KNOW." "YOUR HUSBAND IS MUSICAL?" "WELL, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO HIM." "DO YOU ALWAYS BURST INTO PEOPLE'S HOMES," "PRYING INTO PERSONAL AFFAIRS?" "WE'RE NOT INTERESTED." "MARIAN!" "WELL, THERE'S ONE FOR AND ONE AGAINST." "WHY NOT LET THE BOY'S FATHER DECIDE?" "THE BOY'S FATHER IS DEAD." "ANYTHING ELSE?" "OH, I AM SORRY." "BUT THAT'S ALL THE MORE REASON" "WHY YOUR BROTHER SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS." "MY BROTHER IS AN UNHAPPY CHILD" "WHO CAN'T UNDERSTAND" "WHY HIS FATHER WAS TAKEN AWAY." "WOULD YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN IT TO HIM?" "HE'S BEEN BROODING ABOUT IT FOR 2 YEARS." "AND AS FOR YOUR MUSICAL TRICKS," "WHY DON'T YOU GO INTO BUSINESS" "WITH SOME NICE CARNIVAL MAN" "WHO SELLS GOLD-PAINTED WATCHES" "AND GLASS-DIAMOND RINGS?" "MUSICAL TRICKS?" "NOW, MISS PAROO" "YOU KNOW, I HAVE A FEELING SHE LIKES THE IDEA." "OH, A LITTLE CAUTIOUS, PERHAPS," "BUT I ADMIRE THAT IN A WOMAN." "YOU JUST KEEP ME ALIVE," "AND I'LL BE BACK LATER IN THE WEEK." "I DO HOPE YOU'LL EXCUSE MARIAN, PROFESSOR." "SHE'S NOT REALLY" "OH, PLEASE." "DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING." "I'M SURE THAT AT HEART" "SHE'S AS LOVELY AS YOURSELF." "GOOD DAY TO YOU, WIDOW PAROO." "AHHHHH." "HAS HE GONE?" "HE HAS, AND I HOPE NOT FOREVER." "DARLING, DON'T YOU EVER THINK OF YOUR FUTURE?" "NOW, MAMA, A GIRL'S FUTURE DOESN'T DEPEND" "ON ENCOURAGING EVERY FAST-TALKING, SELF-CENTERED," "WOMAN-CHASING TRAVELING MAN WHO COMES TO TOWN." "ALL RIGHT, DARLING, ALL RIGHT." "ONLY IT'S A WELL-KNOWN PRINCIPLE" "THAT IF YOU KEEP THE FLINT IN ONE DRAWER" "AND THE STEEL IN THE OTHER" "YOU'LL NEVER STRIKE MUCH OF A FIRE." "MAMA!" "A FINE-LOOKING MAN AND EDUCATED" "GARY, INDIANA," "CONSERVATION CLASS OF 'O5." "THE FACT THAT HE CLAIMS HIS COMMODITY IS MUSIC" "DOES NOT IN THIS PARTICULAR CASE IMPRESS ME," "NOR DOES ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT HIM." "WELL, I GIVE UP." "AT YOUR AGE--IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING" "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" "WELL, I'M NOT WAITING FOR ED GRINER," "WHO BACKS ME INTO THE ANCIENT HISTORY SHELF" "EVERY TIME HE COMES INTO THE LIBRARY." "HE DOES?" "OR ED GAMMAGE," "WHO HAS THE BUGGY WITH THE REMOVABLE BACK SEAT." "WELL, IF YOU'RE WAITING FOR A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR" "TO COME RIDING UP THE STREET..." "WELL, I'M NOT WAITING FOR THAT, EITHER, MAMA." "WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" "MARIAN PAROO, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING," "DON'T YOU EVER THINK ABOUT BEING IN LOVE?" "BEING IN LOVE, MAMA?" "♪♪ BEING IN LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ USED TO BE MY FAVORITE DREAM ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, YES ♪♪" "♪♪ I'VE BEEN IN LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE HAS ♪♪" "♪♪ I GUESS ♪♪" "♪♪ MY FIRST LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ HEROICALLY RAN THE STREETCAR ♪♪" "♪♪ I TINGLED AT EVERY CLANG CLANG ♪♪" "♪♪ NEXT, I FELL FOR THE PRINCIPAL ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT, OH, THAT TEACHER WHO SANG ♪♪" "♪♪ IN THE GLOAMING ♪♪" "♪♪ KNEE-DEEP IN LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT A LOVELY DREAM AND YET ♪♪" "♪♪ SOMEHOW ♪♪" "♪♪ KNEE-DEEP IN LOVE'S ♪♪" "♪♪ ONLY HALF OF WHAT I'M LONGING FOR ♪♪" "♪♪ NOW ♪♪" "♪♪ I STILL LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ MY BEING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT TELL ME, WHY COULDN'T THERE BE ♪♪" "♪♪ SOMEBODY BEING IN LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH ♪♪" "♪♪ ME?" "♪♪" "♪♪ ALL I WANT IS A PLAIN MAN ♪♪" "♪♪ ALL I WANT IS A MODEST MAN ♪♪" "♪♪ A QUIET MAN ♪♪" "♪♪ A GENTLE MAN ♪♪" "♪♪ A STRAIGHTFORWARD AND HONEST MAN ♪♪" "♪♪ TO SIT WITH ME ♪♪" "♪♪ IN A COTTAGE ♪♪" "♪♪ SOMEWHERE IN THE STATE OF IOWA ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I WOULD LIKE HIM TO BE ♪♪" "♪♪ MORE INTERESTED IN ME ♪♪" "♪♪ THAN HE IS IN HIMSELF ♪♪" "♪♪ AND MORE INTERESTED IN US ♪♪" "♪♪ THAN IN ME ♪♪" "♪♪ AND IF OCCASIONALLY HE'D PONDER ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT MAKES SHAKESPEARE AND BEETHOVEN GREAT ♪♪" "♪♪ HIM I COULD LOVE TILL I DIE ♪♪" "♪♪ HIM ♪♪" "♪♪ I COULD LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ TILL I DIE ♪♪" "♪♪ BEING IN LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHAT A LOVELY DREAM AND YET ♪♪" "♪♪ SOMEHOW ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ BEING IN LOVE'S ♪" "♪♪ ONLY HALF OF WHAT I'M LONGING FOR ♪♪" "♪♪ NOW ♪♪" "♪♪ AND SO THEN ♪♪" "♪♪ TONIGHT I'LL BE IN THERE DREAMING ♪♪" "♪♪ AND HOPING ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT SOMEDAY THERE'LL BE ♪♪" "JUST ONCE!" "♪♪ SOMEBODY BEING IN LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH ♪♪" "♪♪ ME ♪♪" "PLEASE, ZANEETA." "TOMMY, I CAN'T." "I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING MY READING." "JUST TO THE CANDY KITCHEN." "COME ON." "WITH MAMA AND PAPA" "SHOPPING ALL UP AND DOWN CENTER STREET?" "YE GODS!" "ALL RIGHT, THEN MEET ME AFTER SUPPER." "I CAN'T." "IT'S EPWORTH LEAGUE TONIGHT." "MEET YOU WHERE?" "THE FOOTBRIDGE." "YOU SEE?" "ISN'T THAT JUST WHAT I SAID?" "LAST TIME THE LUMBERYARD AND NOW THE FOOTBRIDGE." "WHERE WILL YOU MEET ME AFTER THAT?" "IN THE BLACK HOLE OF CALCUTTA?" "YE GODS!" "SHH!" "IT'S INDECENT TO MEET BOYS" "AT THE FOOTBRIDGE." "FIRST THING AFTER SUPPER?" "ALL RIGHT." "YE GODS!" "SHH!" "THE WELLS FARGO WAGON!" "THE WELLS FARGO WAGON?" "♪♪ OH HO, THE WELLS FARGO WAGON ♪♪" "♪♪ IS A-COMIN' DOWN THE STREET ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, PLEASE LET IT BE FOR ME ♪♪" "♪♪ OH HO, THE WELLS FARGO WAGON ♪♪" "♪♪ IS A-COMIN' DOWN THE STREET ♪♪" "♪♪ I WISH, I WISH I KNEW WHAT IT COULD BE ♪♪" "♪♪ I GOT A BOX OF MAPLE SUGAR ♪♪" "♪♪ ON MY BIRTHDAY ♪♪" "♪♪ IN MARCH, I GOT A GRAY MACKINAW ♪♪" "♪♪ AND ONCE I GOT SOME GRAPEFRUIT ♪♪" "♪♪ FROM TAMPA ♪♪" "♪♪ MONTGOMERY WARD SENT ME A BATHTUB ♪♪" "♪♪ AND A CROSSCUT SAW ♪♪" "IS THAT THE FIRST THING I SAID OR NOT?" "YES, GEORGE." "YES." "THE VERY FIRST THING I SAID," "OR I'LL EAT HAY WITH A HORSE" ""GET THAT SPELLBINDER'S CREDENTIALS!" I SAID," "MORNING OF JULY 4, 1912." "NOW MY WIFE IS OFF DANCING" "AT ANY AND ALL HOURS INSTEAD OF IN THE HOME," "THE SCHOOL BOARD IS SINGING UP STREET AND DOWN" "INSTEAD OF TENDING TO CITY MATTERS," "MY OLDEST GIRL IS BOODLING AROUND" "WITH SOME WILD KID," "AND MY BUSINESS HAS FELL OFF SO FAR" "I CAN'T FIND THE BALANCE SHEET." "MAYOR SHINN, I FOUND SOMETHING" "VERY INTERESTING IN THIS BOOK" "ABOUT PROFESSOR HILL'S ALMA MATER." "I KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT." "IN FACT, THAT'S ALL I CAN EVER GET OUT OF HIM" "GARY CONSERVATORY, CLASS OF 'O5." "BUT IF YOU'D JUST TAKE TIME TO READ" "A LITTLE ABOUT THE CONSERVATORY," "YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO LOOK ANY FURTHER." "IT'S ON PAGE" "PAPA, THE WELLS FARGO WAGON IS COMING THIS WAY!" "WELLS FARGO WAGON?" "IT COULD BE THE BAND INSTRUMENTS!" "THE BAND INSTRUMENTS?" "BUT, MAYOR SHINN" "LATER, LATER." "♪♪ OH HO, THE WELLS FARGO WAGON ♪♪" "♪♪ IS A-COMIN' NOW ♪♪" "♪♪ IS IT A PREPAID SURPRISE OR C.O.D.?" "♪♪" "♪♪ IT COULD BE CURTAINS ♪♪" "♪♪ OR DISHES ♪♪" "♪♪ OR A DOUBLE BOILER ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ OR IT COULD BE" "♪♪ YES, IT COULD BE, YES, YOU'RE RIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ IT SURELY COULD BE ♪♪" "♪♪ SOMETHIN' SPECIAL ♪♪" "♪♪ SOMETHING VERY, VERY SPECIAL NOW ♪♪" "♪♪ JUST FOR ME ♪♪" "♪♪ OH HO, THE WELLS FARGO WAGON ♪♪" "♪♪ IS A-COMIN' DOWN THE STREET ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, DON'T LET HIM PASS MY DOOR ♪♪" "♪♪ OH HO, THE WELLS FARGO WAGON ♪♪" "♪♪ IS A-COMIN' DOWN THE STREET ♪♪" "♪♪ I WISH I KNEW WHAT HE WAS COMIN' FOR ♪♪" "♪♪ I GOT SOME SALMON ♪♪" "♪♪ FROM SEATTLE LAST SEPTEMBER ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I EXPECT A NEW ROCKIN' CHAIR ♪♪" "♪♪ I HOPE I GET MY RAISINS FROM FRESNO ♪♪" "♪♪ THE DAR HAVE SENT A CANNO N FOR THE COURTHOUSE SQUARE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ OH HO, THE WELLTH FARGO WAGON ♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ ITH A-COMIN' NOW" "♪♪ I DON'T KNOW ♪♪" "♪♪ HOW I CAN EVER WAIT TO THEE ♪♪" "♪♪ IT COULD BE THOMETHIN ' FOR THOMEONE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHO ITH NO RELATION ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ BUT IT COULD BE ♪" "♪♪ THOMETHIN' THPECIAL ♪♪" "♪♪ JUTHT FOR ME ♪♪" "♪♪ OH HO, THE WELLS FARGO WAGON ♪♪" "♪♪ IS A-COMIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ OH HO, THIS WELLS FARGO WAGON ♪♪" "♪♪ IS A-COMIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ OH HO, THIS WELLS FARGO WAGON ♪♪" "♪♪ DON'T YOU DARE TO MAKE A STOP ♪♪" "♪♪ UNTIL YOU STOP ♪♪" "FOR ME ♪♪" "HERE YOU ARE, WINTHROP." "MY CORNET." "GEE THANKTH, PROFETHOR." "THITHTER, ITHN'T THITH" "THE MOTHT THCRUMPTHIOUTH THOLID-GOLD THING" "YOU EVER THAW?" "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D EVER THEE" "ANYTHING THO THCRUMPTHIOUTH AS A THOLID-GOLD THING!" "OH, THISTER!" "NOW, REMEMBER, MEN, STAY OFF THE STREETS," "PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR INSTRUMENTS," "AND THINK ABOUT THEMINUET IN G." "♪♪ LA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA ♪♪" "THAT'S IT." "♪♪ LA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA ♪♪" "ROUND ONE FOR YOU, MR. HILL," "BUT I'D BETTER HEAR SOME BY GOD TOOTIN'" "OUT OF THEM HORNS IN PRETTY SHORT ORDER," "OR I'LL SEE YOU IN FRONT OF THE GRAND JURY" "OVER AT THE COUNTY THEAT!" "YES." "NOW, MISS MARIAN, ABOUT THAT BOOK" "GEORGE, COME ALONG." "TEMPUS FUGIT." "YOU WATCH YOUR PHRASEOLOGY!" "GO ALONG IF YOU WANT TO." "I'VE GOT TO GET SOMETHING FROM THE LIBRARIAN." "ABOUT THAT BOOK, UH..." "LADIES DANCE COMMITTEE MEETS TUESDAY NIGHTS" "AT THE HIGH SCHOOL." "THEY'LL BE COUNTING ON YOU." "♪♪ LA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DUM ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DUM ♪♪" "♪♪ BUMM DEE DUM DEE DUM DEE DUM DEE DUM ♪♪" "♪♪ BA DA DA ♪♪" "♪♪ BA DA DA ♪♪" "♪♪ BA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ BA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DUM ♪♪" "♪♪ BA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ DA DEE DUM ♪♪" "REALLY, GIRLS!" "HURRY ALONG, LADIES." "HURRY ALONG!" "TEMPUS FUGIT!" "LET'S START WITH OUR POSTURE EXERCISES." "♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪" "LOVELY, LADIES, LOVELY." "NOW TURN." "TAKE THE BODY WITH YOU." "LOVELY." "LOVELY, LADIES." "NOW FOR OUR GRECIAN URNS." "ONE GRECIAN URN." "2 GRECIAN URNS." "OH, THAT'S JUST AMAZING." "AND A FOUNTAIN." "TRICKLE, TRICKLE, TRICKLE, TRICKLE..." "OH, SPLENDID, LADIES!" "SPLENDID!" "OUR DELSARTE DISPLAY WILL BE THE HIGHLIGHT" "OF THE ICE CREAM SOCIABLE." "GIRLS!" "NOW ONCE AGAIN." "PRACTICE MAKES PERFECTION," "WHICH IS WHAT WE WANT." "REMEMBER, MEN." "IF YOU WANT TO PLAY THEMINUET IN G," "THINKTHEMINUET IN G." "IT'S A SIMPLE MEETING OF 2 MINDS" "YOURS AND BEETHOVEN'S." "ALL TOGETHER NOW." "PROFESSOR, I CAN'T EVEN THINK" "HOW TO HOLD THE HORN RIGHT." "THERE'S THESE LITTLE SPIGOTS ON THE SIDE," "BUT WHICH ONE'S WHICH?" "AH HA HA!" "EXPERIMENTATION." "TRIAL AND ERROR." "COULD YOU SHOW ME, PROFESSOR?" "SON, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING" "THE GREAT GIUSEPPE CREATORE SAID TO ME ONCE" "UNDER LIKE CIRCUMSTANCES." ""PROFESSOR HILL," HE SAID, "THAT IS YOUR INSTRUMENT." ""HOLD ONTO IT." "CHERISH IT." ""DON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE PLAY AROUND WITH IT," ""NOT EVEN ME, NOT EVEN YOU," "UNTIL YOU FEEL YOU'RE READY."" "BUT" "AH AH AH." "YES, SIR." "ALL TOGETHER, NOW." "OVER AND OVER." "♪♪ LA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA ♪♪" "TOMMY?" "♪♪ LA DEE DA DEE DA DEE... ♪♪" "TAKE CHARGE OF THE GROUP." "ANOTHER HALF HOUR AT LEAST" "ON THEMINUET." "♪♪ LA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA ♪♪" "♪♪ LA DEE DA DEE DA DEE DA... ♪♪" "STRAWBERRY PHOSPHATE, PLEASE." "BE RIGHT WITH YOU." "YE GODS!" "GREAT HONK!" "IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU DON'T SEE THERE," "YOU BE SURE AND ASK FOR IT." "AHEM." "OH, PROFESSOR HILL, I DIDN'T SEE YOU." "MAY I JOIN YOU?" "WELL, REALLY, I" "WHERE?" "THEY WERE SEEN!" "RED-HANDED!" "CAUGHT IN THE ACT!" "TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER!" "PAPA!" "MR. SHINN, YOUR HONOR, YOUR DAUGHTER AND I" "ARE GOING STEADY BEHIND YOUR BACK." "WHY, YOU" "WE'D RATHER BE DOING IT IN FRONT OF YOUR BACK." "DO WHAT?" "NEVER MIND!" "ZANEETA'S SCARED OF YOU," "BUT I'M NOT!" "I SHOULD THINK YOU'D HATE TO HAVE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER" "SCARED OF YOU." "GREAT HONK." "I'M GOING TO WARN YOU ONCE MORE." "IF I EVER CATCH YOU TOUCHING MY DAUGHTER," "I'LL HORSEWHIP YOU." "NOW, GEORGE!" "NOT ONE POOP OUT OF YOU, MADAM." "I THINK HE MEANS PEEP." "YEAH." "NOW GET OUT OF THIS PUBLIC EMPORIUM!" "I GOT AS MUCH RIGHT IN A PUBLIC EMPORIUM" "AS ANYBODY!" "RIGHT?" "HOW DO YOU GET ANY RIGHT AROUND HERE," "AIDING AND ABETTING THE SWINDLING ACTIVITIES" "OF THIS SPELLBINDING CYMBAL SALESMAN?" "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU?" "REFORM SCHOOL." "NOW GET OUT!" "GET OUT, YOU WILD KID, YOU!" "PAPA, PLEASE!" "IT'S CAPULETS LIKE YOU" "MAKE BLOOD IN THE MARKETPLACE!" "YE GODS!" "YOU WATCH YOUR PHRASEOLOGY," "YOUNG WOMAN!" "GO HOME." "TAKING UP WITH WILD KIDS" "FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF TOWN..." "MAYOR SHINN, IF I COULD JUST MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND." "WELL, YOU CAN'T!" "AND, BY THE WAY, THANKS FOR THE BUGGY RIDE." "I READ THAT BOOK YOU GAVE ME" "FROM COVER TO COVER FOR A WHOLE WEEK NOW" "AND DIDN'T FIND A THING." "MR. MAYOR, IF YOU PLEASE" "I'LL SETTLE YOUR HASH" "AS SOON AS I GET THESE PREMISES" "OFF MY OLDEST GIRL." "YES?" "ALL RIGHT, BUT IN THE MEANTIME," "I'D LIKE YOU TO KNOW I'M VOUCHING FOR TOMMY DJILAS." "THAT BOY HAS THE CONFIDENCE OF EVERY KID IN THIS TOWN." "YOU'LL BE STANDING IN LINE WAITING TO SHAKE HIS HAND" "BY THE TIME OUR BAND PLAYS ITS FIRST CONCERT." "BY THAT TIME, MY FINE YOUNG FEATHERED" "MY FEATHERED YOUNG-- MY FEATHERED FINE" "NEVER MIND!" "HA HA HA HA!" "OLIVER, JACEY, EWART, OLIN!" "I WANT THAT MAN'S REFERENCES," "AND I WANT THEM TONIGHT!" "HE'S SLIPPERIER THAN A MISSISSIPPI..." "STURGEON." "I THINK MAYOR SHINN BEHAVED ABOMINABLY," "AND I THINK IT WAS WONDERFUL OF YOU" "STICKING UP FOR TOMMY DJILAS THE WAY YOU DID." "OH, THAT WAS NOTHING." "OH, YES, IT WAS." "WELL, A MAN CAN'T GO BACK ON HIS PRINCIPLES" "MERELY BECAUSE A LITTLE PERSONAL RISK IS INVOLVED." "WHAT DOES THE POET SAY?" ""A COWARD DIES A THOUSAND DEATHS," "A BRAVE MAN..." "ONLY 500."" "SOMETHING LIKE THAT." "GET HIS PAPERS OR GET HIM IN JAIL!" "I COULDN'T MAKE MYSELF ANY CLEARER" "IF I WAS A BUTTONHOOK IN THE WELL WATER!" "I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK TO YOU" "ABOUT WINTHROP'S CORNET." "OH, YES." "A BEAUTIFUL INSTRUMENT" "HAND-HAMMERED BRASS," "MOTHER-OF-PEARL KEYS." "BUT HE NEVER TOUCHES THE CORNET." "HE SAID YOU TOLD HIM IT WASN'T NECESSARY." "YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, MISS MARIAN" "SOMETHING ABOUT A THINK SYSTEM." "HE SAYS IF HETHINKS THEMINUET IN G," "HE CAN PLAY IT." "I ADMIT IT'S STILL IN THE EXPERIMENTAL STAGES," "AND I SUPPOSE TO A SEASONED PROFESSIONAL" "IT MAY SEEM LUDICROUS." "OH, YOU MUSTN'T SAY THAT." "I MUSTN'T?" "NO." "WHY, THROUGHOUT HISTORY," "THE TRUE ORIGINATOR IS ALWAYS LAUGHED AT." "I HOPE YOU DON'T CLASS ME" "WITH THOSE SMALL MINDS WHO RIDICULED" "GALILEO." "YES." "AND HIS CONCEPTION OF THE HEAVENS." "OR FULTON." "YES." "OR COLUMBUS." "AND HIS CONCEPTION OF THE EGG." "UH, GLOBE." "THE ONE THING ONE MUST REMEMBER," "NO MATTER WHO ONE IS OR WHAT ONE IS WORKING FOR," "ONE CAN DO ANYTHING IF ONE PUTS ONE'S MIND TO IT." "MISS MARIAN, IF ONE COULD ONLY TELL YOU" "HOW MUCH YOU'VE DONE FOR ONE." "I WOULD DEEM IT A GREAT PRIVILEGE" "TO TALK WITH YOU AGAIN." "WELL, ALL I SAID" "MAY ONE CALL UPON YOU SOME EVENING?" "ANY NIGHT THIS WEEK." "[WHISTLINGGARY, INDIANA]" "GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN." "SORRY, PROFESSOR, BUT WE GOT OUR ORDERS." "WE ALL BEEN DEPUTIZED." "YES, YES, YES, YES." "WELL, CONGRATULATIONS." "NOW, LET ME SEE." "EVERY TIME I TRY" "TO GIVE YOU FELLOWS THOSE CREDENTIALS," "YOU ALWAYS TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT SOMEHOW." "IT'S ALMOST LIKE A CONSPIRACY." "I'LL JUST GO TO MY ROOM AND GET THEM RIGHT NOW." "SORRY." "AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO GO WITH YOU." "OH, YES." "WELL, LET'S SEE IF I HAVE MY KEY." "WHAT'S THIS?" "WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" "A TESTIMONIAL FROM THE ONLY FEMALE BASSOON PLAYER" "EVER TO APPEAR ON THE REDPATH CIRCUIT" "MADAME REENYHOOK." "OH, THAT'S HER STAGE NAME, OF COURSE." "ACTUALLY, SHE'S FROM MOLINE." "LIDA ROSE QUACKENBUSH." "COULDN'T I JUST SEE THAT?" "YOU NEVER FORGET THE NAME LIDA ROSE." "JUST LIKE IN THE OLD SONG." "NONE OF THAT, NOW." "♪♪ LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ I'M HOME AGAIN, ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ TO GET THE ♪♪" "♪♪ SUN ♪♪" "♪♪ BACK IN THE ♪♪" "♪♪ SKY ♪♪" "♪♪ LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ I'M HOME AGAIN, ROSE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ ABOUT A THOUSAND KISSES SHY ♪" "♪♪ DING ♪♪" "♪♪ DONG ♪♪" "♪♪ DING ♪♪" "♪♪ I CAN HEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ THE CHAPEL BELL CHIME ♪♪" "♪♪ DING ♪♪" "♪♪ DONG ♪♪" "♪♪ DING ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ AT THE LEAST SUGGESTION ♪" "♪♪ I'LL POP THE QUESTION ♪♪" "♪♪ LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ I'M HOME AGAIN, ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITHOUT A SWEETHEART TO MY NAME ♪♪" "♪♪ LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ HOW EVERYONE KNOWS ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT I AM HOPING YOU'RE THE SAME ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ SO HERE IS MY LOVE SONG ♪" "♪♪ NOT FANCY OR FINE ♪♪" "♪♪ LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, WON'T YOU BE ♪♪" "♪♪ MINE?" "LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ LIDA ROSE OH, LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ DREAM OF NOW" "♪♪ DREAM OF THEN ♪♪" "♪♪ DREAM OF A LOVE SONG ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ♪♪" "♪♪ DO I LOVE YOU?" "♪♪" "♪♪ OH, YES, I LOVE YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I'LL BRAVELY TELL YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT ONLY WHEN WE DREAM AGAIN ♪♪" "♪♪ SWEET ♪♪" "♪♪ AND LOW ♪♪" "♪♪ SWEET ♪♪" "♪♪ AND LOW ♪♪" "♪♪ HOW SWEET THAT MEMORY ♪♪" "♪♪ HOW LONG AGO?" "♪♪" "♪♪ FOREVER?" "♪♪" "♪♪ OH, YES, FOREVER ♪♪" "♪♪ WILL I EVER TELL?" "♪♪" "♪♪ LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ OH, LIDA ROSE, OH ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ DREAM OF NOW... ♪" "♪♪ TO GET THE SUN BACK IN THE SKY... ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ DREAM OF A LOVE SONG" "♪♪ ABOUT A THOUSAND KISSES SHY ♪♪" "♪♪ DO I LOVE YOU?" "♪♪" "♪♪ I CAN HEAR THE CHAPEL BELL CHIME ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I'LL BRAVELY TELL YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ AT THE LEAST SUGGESTION I'LL POP THE QUESTION ♪♪" "♪♪ SWEET AND LOW ♪♪" "♪♪ WITHOUT A SWEETHEART TO MY NAME ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ HOW SWEET THE MEMORY" "♪♪ THAT I AM HOPING YOU'RE THE SAME ♪♪" "♪♪ FOREVER?" "♪♪" "♪♪ NOT FANCY OR FINE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ WILL I EVER TELL YOU?" "♪" "OH, LIDA ROSE ♪♪ ♪♪ OH, NO ♪♪" "[SIGHS]" "WILL YOU EVER STOP ARGUING WITH YOURSELF?" "WILL YOU EVER TELL HIM?" "WON'T YOU EVER TELL HIM?" "AH, YES, AH, NO." "AW, FIDDLESTICKS." "JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND LET IT COME OUT." "NOW, MAMA..." "NOW, NOTHING." "AND IF HE EVER CALLS AGAIN, YOU SEE HIM ALONE." "AND IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE GUMPTION" "TO TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL" "TELL HIM?" "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH A LADYLIKE HINT." "WHAT'S THAT THING YOU GOT?" "IT'TH A GENUINE HERCULETH" "COMBINATHION POCKETKNIFE AND TOOL KIT" "WITH THICK, THTURDY THTEEL BLADES." "BLESSED MARTIN OF TOURS!" "ONE THPEAR BLADE, ONE THMALL PEN BLADE," "A FILE, AND A COMBINATHION TACK PULLER AND THCREWDRIVER." "WHERE'D YOU PICK UP THAT HORRIBLE WEAPON?" "IT WAS A PRESENT FROM HAROLD." "PROFESSOR HILL?" "UH-HUH." "HE THAYTH IF I'M GOING TO THTICK AROUND RIVER THITY," "I BETTER LEARN TO WHITTLE AND THPIT." "I GOT THE THPITTING DOWN PRETTY GOOD." "WINTHROP, WHAT DO YOU AND HAROLD" "FIND TO TALK ABOUT?" "THOMETIMETH WE TALK BUTHINETH" "AND THOMETIMETH JUTHT PLAIN TALK." "HE TALKS ABOUT HIS HOMETOWN, GARY, INDIANA," "AND HE THAID MAYBE HE'LL TAKE ME THERE THOMEDAY." "WELL, ISN'T THAT NICE?" "HE TAUGHT ME A THONG ABOUT IT" "WITH HARDLY ANY ETHETH IN IT." "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ LET ME THAY IT ONTHE AGAIN ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT'TH THE TOWN THAT KNEW ME WHEN ♪♪" "♪♪ IF YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE A LOGICAL EXPLANATHION ♪♪" "♪♪ HOW I HAPPENED ON THITH ELEGANT THINCOPATHION ♪♪" "♪♪ I WILL THAY WITHOUT A MOMENT OF HETHITATHION ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE ITH JUTHT ONE PLATHE ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ THAT CAN LIGHT MY FATHE ♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ AND NOT LOUITHIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ PARITH, FRANTH NEW YORK, OR ROME ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ GARY, INDIANA ♪♪" "♪♪ MY HOME, SWEET HOME ♪♪" "[TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAP]" "HA HA HA HA!" "HA HA HA HA!" "ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THAT." "COME ALONG, NOW." "YOU STILL HAVE TO CHANGE FOR THE SOCIABLE." "HEY, DO THE SHINNS LIVE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE?" "THE SHINN HOME IS ON EAST ELM." "THIS IS WEST ELM." "OH, CRIMINY!" "OH, I SEE YOU'RE THE PIANO TEACHER" "HERE IN TOWN." "YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT THIS FELLOW HILL" "FORMING A BOYS' BAND HERE." "YES!" "WELL, DON'T LET THAT WORRY YOU NO MORE." "I GOT THE GOODS ON HIM IN SPADES," "THAT SWINDLING 2-BIT THIMBLERIGGER!" "THAT'S WHY I GOT TO SEE SHINN." "I'M JUST PASSING THROUGH," "AND NUMBER 8 ONLY MAKES" "A 15-MINUTE WATER STOP, AND" "[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]" "OOH!" "I WISH IT WAS 2O." "SURE COULD CONCENTRATE 5 MINUTES ON YOU, GIRLIE-GIRL." "WHO ARE YOU?" "THE NAME'S CHARLIE COWELL." "ANVIL SALESMAN." "[BANG]" "BUT I'VE GOT HEAVIER THINGS ON MY MIND." "I'VE GOT TO PROTECT" "THE GOOD NAME OF THE TRAVELING FRATERNITY" "FROM THAT SWINDLER HILL." "MR. COWELL, YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE." "MISTAKE, MY OLD LADY'S CORSET COVER." "THAT FELLOW'S BEEN THE RASPBERRY SEED" "IN MY WISDOM TOOTH JUST LONG ENOUGH." "HE SPOILED ILLINOIS FOR ME," "BUT HE'S NOT GOING TO SPOIL IOWA." "WHAT KIND OF MUSIC TEACHER ARE YOU, ANYWAY?" "HE'S NO MORE PROFESSOR" "I KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT." "BAND LEADERS ARE ALWAYS CALLED PROFESSOR." "IT'S AN ACADEMIC COURTESY." "HE'S A FINE DIRECTOR" "NOW WAIT A MINUTE!" "FINE DIRECTOR?" "YOU HEARD ONE NOTE OF MUSIC FROM ANY BAND?" "WELL..." "NO, BUT" "BUT NOTHING, GIRLIE-GIRL." "HE NEVER FORMED A BAND IN HIS LIFE," "AND YOU THINK HE EVER WILL?" "NOT ON YOUR PREVIOUS EXISTENCE." "IF YOU'LL JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR A MINUTE..." "I'D LIKE TO..." "DO MORE THAN THAT" "IF I HAD THE TIME." "SURE GOT THE INCLINATION." "BUT I'VE GOT TO GET BACK ON THAT TRAIN," "AND I'VE GOT TO LEAVE THIS DYNAMITE" "WITH SOMEBODY ON THE WAY TO THE DEPOT." "BYE, GIRLIE-GIRL." "I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME." "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE THAT TRAIN AT THE DEPOT." "YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH IT AT THE CROSSING." "NO, SIR." "GOT TO LEAVE WORD," "AND I CAN SEE YOU AIN'T THE ONE TO LEAVE IT WITH." "WAIT A MINUTE..." "MR. COWELL." "♪♪ ♪♪♪♪♪♪" "YOU DON'T KNOW ME VERY WELL YET." "IS THAT AN INVITATION, GIRLIE-GIRL?" "NO!" "I MEAN, UH, I DON'T KNOW YOU." "YEAH, I'D NEED MORE TIME ANYWAY." "WHAT I MEAN IS, UH," "AS WELL AS I'D LIKE TO." "♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪" "OH, THERE'S NO TROUBLE THERE, GIRLIE-GIRL." "♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪" "I'VE, UH, NEVER MET A MAN" "WHO SELLS ANVILS BEFORE." "IT'S REALLY QUITE..." "DIFFERENT." "♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪" "IT TAKES A REAL SALESMAN TO TELL YOU THAT." "ANVILS HAVE A LIMITED APPEAL, YOU KNOW." "♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪" "WHAT AM I DOING?" "IF I MISS THAT TRAIN, I'LL LOSE MY JOB." "I'VE GOT TO LEAVE WORD ABOUT THAT FELLOW HILL." "LEAVE WORD WITH ME." "NOT ON YOUR TINTYPE, GIRLIE-GIRL." "HOW DO I KNOW YOU'D DELIVER THESE LETTERS?" "TRY ME." "♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪" "[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]" "♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪" "[TRAIN RUMBLES]" "THERE'S YOUR TRAIN." "NOW RUN FOR IT!" "WHY, YOU DOUBLE-DEALING" "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PROTECTING?" "THAT GUY HAS A GAL" "IN EVERY COUNTY IN ILLINOIS," "AND THAT'S 1O2 COUNTIES!" "NOT COUNTING" "THE PIANO TEACHERS LIKE YOU" "HE COZIES UP TO" "JUST TO KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUT." "NEITHER ONE OF YOU HAVE HEARD" "THE LAST OF ME, GIRLIE-GIRL!" "♪♪ ..." "SUGGESTION ♪♪" "♪♪ I'LL POP THE QUESTION ♪♪" "♪♪ LIDA ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ I'M HOME AGAIN, ROSE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITHOUT A SWEETHEART TO MY NAME ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD EVENING, MISS MARIANNNN ♪♪" "♪♪ LIDA ROSE, HOW EVERYONE KNOWS ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT I AM HOPING YOU'RE THE SAME ♪♪" "MARIAN!" "♪♪ SO HERE IS MY LOVE... ♪♪" "MARIAN, DEAR, WHO WAS YOU TALKING" "WHY, PROFESSOR HILL!" "MRS. PAROO, THE TOP OF THE EVENING." "MISS MARIAN." "YOU AND MARIAN COME UP AND SET." "I'VE GOT SOME JELLY ON THE STOVE." "THERE'S NO JELLY ON THE STOVE, MAMA." "WELL, I'LL PUT SOME ON." "SHALL WE SET, AS YOUR MOTHER SAID?" "REALLY, I DON'T" "YOU DID ASK ME TO CALL, REMEMBER?" "DID I?" "I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING." "OH, NOW, MISS MARIAN, I'M NOT SUGGESTING" "THAT YOUR INVITATION INFERRED ANYTHING" "BUT ACADEMIC ENLIGHTENMENT," "THE THINK SYSTEM." "I'VE BEEN BY YOUR HOUSE A TIME OR TWO" "TO TRY TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU," "BUT THERE ALWAYS SEEM TO BE PEOPLE AROUND" "LADIES, MOSTLY, I THOUGHT." "YES." "MRS. SQUIRES AND SEVERAL OF THE OTHER LADIES." "I'M GLAD." "I WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE BEATING MY TIME." "YOU WOULDN'T?" "NO, MA'AM." "WELL, IT'S EVIDENTLY" "NOT THE CONVENIENT EVENING." "I'LL SEE YOU LATER AT THE SOCIABLE." "PROFESSOR HILL," "IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'VE HAD A HUNDRED..." "WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS..." "YES?" "I WAS WONDERING..." "HOW YOU DEVELOPED THE THINK SYSTEM." "THE THINK SYSTEM?" "OH!" "THE THINK SYSTEM!" "WELL, IT'S QUITE SIMPLE, REALLY." "IT'S AS SIMPLE AS WHISTLING." "NO ONE HAD TO DEVELOP" "ANY ELABORATE TECHNIQUE FOR WHISTLING." "YOU SIMPLY THINK THE TUNE UP HERE," "AND IT COMES OUT CLEARLY HERE." "[WHISTLING]" "JUST YOU SUPPOSE YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF." "I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT." "WHY DON'T WE ALL SIT DOWN?" "ARE ALL MUSIC TEACHERS AS DENSE AS I AM?" "ALLMUSIC TEACHERS?" "DARESAY YOU'VE MET DOZENS," "MAYBE EVEN A HUNDRED." "WELL..." "ARE THEY ALL AS FASCINATED AS I WITH..." "THE THINK SYSTEM?" "SOME MORE AND SOME LESS." "ONE YOUNG LADY HAD THOUGHT UP THE SAME SYSTEM" "BEFORE I GOT TO HER TOWN." "SHE SHOWED ME A FEW REFINEMENTS." "I SEE." "HAVE I SAID SOMETHING WRONG?" "PLEASE DON'T LET ME KEEP YOU, PROFESSOR HILL." "YOU MUST HAVE MANY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO" "THAN EXPLAIN THE THINK SYSTEM TO ME." "NOPE." "I CAN'T THINK OF A ONE." "LET'S SIT DOWN." "I MUST BE VERY DULL COMPANY" "FOR A MAN OF YOUR EXPERIENCE." "WHERE DID YOU EVER GET AN IDEA LIKE THAT?" "ONE HEARS RUMORS ABOUT TRAVELING SALESMEN." "YOU MUSTN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR." "AFTER ALL," "ONE EVEN HEARS RUMORS ABOUT LIBRARIANS." "I PRESUME" "YOU'RE REFERRING TO UNCLE MADDY?" "UNCLEMADDY?" "MR. MADISON, MY FATHER'S BEST FRIEND." "NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY," "HE LEFT ME THAT LIBRARY JOB TO ME" "SO MOTHER, WINTHROP, AND I COULD HAVE SOME SECURITY." "SURELY YOUDON'T BELIEVE" "NO, NO, NO, BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M SAYING." "WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE PEOPLE START THOSE RUMORS?" "NARROW-MINDEDNESS, JEALOUSY." "JEALOUSY, MOSTLY, I GUESS." "EXACTLY!" "JEALOUSY MOSTLY STARTS RUMORS ABOUT TRAVELING SALESMEN." "WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD?" "OH, NOTHING ABOUT YOU PERSONALLY." "IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, GENERALLY." "WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD GENERALLY?" "JUST THAT..." "BUT, OF COURSE!" "IT STANDS TO REASON" "THAT DISAPPOINTMENT AND JEALOUSY" "CAN LEAD TO" "TAKE YOU, FOR INSTANCE." "YOUR ATTENTIONS TO CUSTOMERS AND TEACHERS" "MIGHT EASILY BE MISCONSTRUED," "MIGHTN'T THEY?" "I MEAN, NOW, HONESTLY, MIGHTN'T THEY?" "AND AS YOU SAY, IF A SALESMAN OR SOMEBODY WERE JEALOUS," "THEY COULD BE DOWNRIGHT LIES, NOW, COULDN'T THEY?" "WHAT COULD?" "RUMORS AND THINGS." "WHY, OF COURSE!" "IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU" "YOU SHOULD NEVER BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR." "I MEAN, IF YOU'D JUST DISCUSS THINGS!" "I WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO DISCUSS" "ANYTHING IN THE WORLD WITH YOU," "BUT COULDN'T WE DO IT SITTING DOWN?" "YOU DO SIT?" "YOUR KNEES BEND?" "WE COULD SIT ON THE STEPS." "WE COULD ALSO SIT ON A LOG" "AT THE FOOTBRIDGE." "NO." "I COULDN'T DO THAT." "I'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE FOOTBRIDGE WITH A MAN" "IN MY LIFE." "JUST TO TALK." "I HAVE TO DRESS FOR THE SOCIABLE." "THEN MEET ME THERE IN 15 MINUTES." "OH, NO, I--I CAN'T." "PLEASE." "SOME OTHER TIME." "MAYBE TOMORROW." "PLEASE." "OH, MY DEAR LITTLE LIBRARIAN," "YOU PILE UP ENOUGH TOMORROWS," "AND YOU'LL FIND YOU'VE COLLECTED NOTHING" "BUT A LOT OF EMPTY YESTERDAYS." "I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU," "BUT I'D LIKE TO MAKE TODAY WORTH REMEMBERING." "OHH." "SO WOULD I." "THE FOOTBRIDGE." "15 MINUTES." "15 MINUTES." "MAMA!" "WHAT?" "I JUST TOLD THE PROFESSOR" "I'D MEET HIM AT THE FOOTBRIDGE." "GLORY BE AND THE SAINTS BE PRAISED." "IT WORKS!" "WHAT WORKS?" "I'VE BEEN USING THE THINK SYSTEM ON YOU" "FROM THE PARLOR." "HEY, ANY OF YOU PEOPLE MAYOR SHINN?" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "PLEASE!" "YOU'VE GOT TO CLEAR THIS AREA." "MRS. SHINN WANTS TO START THE ENTERTAINMENT." "OH!" "OH!" "WE WANT TO DANCE." "WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE SOME OF THE NEW STEPS" "PROFESSOR HILL TAUGHT US." "MR. WASHBURN, MY GROUP IS READY TO PERFORM!" "START HER OUT, MR. WASHBURN." "OK." "WHAT WILL IT BE?" "THE SHIPOOPI!" "YAY!" "YAY!" "♪♪ NOW, A WOMAN WHO'LL KISS ON THE VERY FIRST DATE ♪♪" "♪♪ IS USUALLY A HUSSY ♪♪" "♪♪ AND A WOMAN WHO'LL KISS ON THE SECOND TIME OUT ♪♪" "♪♪ IS ANYTHING BUT FUSSY ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ BUT A WOMAN WHO'LL WAIT TILL THE THIRD TIME AROUND ♪" "♪♪ HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, FEET ON THE GROUND ♪♪" "♪♪ SHE'S THE GIRL HE'S GLAD HE'S FOUND ♪♪" "♪♪ SHE'S HIS SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ THE GIRL WHO'S HARD TO GET ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT YOU CAN WIN HER YET ♪♪" "♪♪ WALK HER ONCE JUST TO RAISE THE CURTAIN ♪♪" "♪♪ WALK AROUND TWICE, AND YOU MAKE FOR CERTAIN ♪♪" "♪♪ ONCE MORE IN THE FLOWER GARDEN ♪♪" "♪♪ SHE WILL NEVER GET SORE IF YOU BEG HER PARDON ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ DO RE MI FA SOL LA SI DO" "♪♪ SI LA SOL FA MI RE DO ♪♪" "♪♪ SQUEEZE HER ONCE WHEN SHE ISN'T LOOKING ♪♪" "♪♪ IF YOU GET A SQUEEZE BACK , THAT'S FANCY COOKIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ ONCE MORE FOR A PEPPER-UPPER" "♪♪ SHE WILL NEVER GET SORE ON HER WAY TO SUPPER ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ DO RE MI FA SOL LA SI DO" "♪♪ SI DO ♪♪" "♪♪ NOW, LITTLE OL' SAL WAS A NO-GAL ♪♪" "♪♪ AS ANYONE COULD SEE ♪♪" "♪♪ LOOK AT HER NOW, SHE'S A GO-GAL ♪♪" "♪♪ WHO ONLY GOES FOR ME ♪♪" "♪♪ SQUEEZE HER ONCE WHEN SHE ISN'T LOOKING ♪♪" "♪♪ IF YOU GET A SQUEEZE BACK , THAT'S FANCY COOKIN' ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ ONCE MORE FOR A PEPPER-UPPER" "♪♪ SHE WILL NEVER GET SORE ON HER WAY TO SUPPER ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ DO RE MI FA SOL LA SI DO" "♪♪ SI DO ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ THE GIRL WHO'S HARD TO GET ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT YOU CAN WIN HER YET ♪♪" "WHOA!" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ THE GIRL WHO'S HARD TO GET ♪♪" "♪♪ ♪♪ SHIPOOPI" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ SHIPOOPI... ♪" "HEY, PROFESSOR, SHOW US SOME NEW STEPS!" "WHOA!" "WHOA!" "WHOA!" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ THE GIRL WHO'S HARD TO GET ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ BUT YOU CAN WIN HER YET ♪" "♪♪ YOU CAN WIN HER YET ♪♪" "♪♪ SHIPOOPI!" "♪♪" "YAY!" "YAY!" "WHOO!" "YAY!" "WHOO!" "HOO!" "YAY!" "PROFESSOR HILL, I" "THIS IS NO PLACE TO TALK." "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BACK DOWN?" "NO." "I'LL COME, BUT I PROMISED MOTHER AND WINTHROP" "TO HAVE A PLATE OF CREAM WITH THEM." "YOU GO ALONG." "I'LL MEET YOU THERE." "15 MINUTES." "15 MINUTES." "HA HA HA HA!" "AND NOW WE ARRIVE AT THE HIGH-WATER MARK" "OF THE EVENING'S FESTIVITIES." "THE RIVER CITY LADIES' EURYTHMIC DANCE GROUP," "UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF MY WIFE," "WILL GIVE THEIR INTERPRETATION OF, UH, OF..." "PSSST!" "PSSST!" "GRECIAN URNS." "YES." "GRECIAN URNS." "PSST!" "PSST!" "ONE GRECIAN URN." "[APPLAUSE]" "HA HA HA!" "[PLAYING GOOD NIGHT, MY SOMEONE]" "MISS MARIAN, YOU'RE LATE." "YOU SAID 15 MINUTES." "I DON'T MEAN THAT KIND OF LATE." "I MEANT..." "I'D SAY ABOUT 26 YEARS LATE." "IT TOOK YOU ALL THIS TIME" "TO GET TO THE FOOTBRIDGE WITH A FELLOW." "IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH," "IT WAS ALMOST LONGER." "HALFWAY HERE," "I NEARLY TURNED BACK." "I SUPPOSE I'M NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO DISCOVER" "A GIRL DOESN'T THINK TOO CLEARLY" "WHEN UNDER THE SPELL OF YOUR SALESMANSHIP." "OH, NOW, MISS MARIAN, YOU SURELY DON'T THINK" "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SELLYOUANYTHING?" "NO." "YOU'VE GIVEN ME SOMETHING." "THAT'S WHY I HAD TO COME." "I DON'T RECALL GIVING YOU" "OH, YES, SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL." "THAT'S WHY I CAME." "AND I'M SO GLAD." "PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID THAT I EXPECT TOO MUCH MORE." "ONE CAN'T EXPECT A TRAVELING SALESMAN" "TO STAY PUT." "I KNOW THERE HAVE BEEN MANY PORTS OF CALL," "AND THERE'LL BE MANY MORE." "STILL, I CAN BE GRATEFUL" "FOR WHAT YOU'VE LEFT BEHIND--FOR ME." "WELL, MARIAN" "♪♪ THERE WERE BELLS ON THE HILL ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ BUT I NEVER HEARD THEM RINGING ♪" "♪♪ NO, I NEVER HEARD THEM AT ALL ♪♪" "♪♪ TILL THERE WAS YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE BIRDS IN THE SKY ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT I NEVER SAW THEM WINGING ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, I NEVER SAW THEM AT ALL ♪♪" "♪♪ TILL THERE WAS YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THERE WAS MUSIC ♪♪" "♪♪ AND THERE WERE WONDERFUL ROSES ♪♪" "♪♪ THEY TELL ME ♪♪" "♪♪ IN SWEET, FRAGRANT MEADOWS ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ OF DAWN AND DEW ♪" "♪♪ THERE WAS LOVE ALL AROUND ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT I NEVER HEARD IT SINGING ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, I NEVER HEARD IT AT ALL ♪♪" "♪♪ TILL THERE WAS YOU ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WAS LOVE ALL AROUND ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT I NEVER HEARD IT SINGING ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, I NEVER HEARD IT AT ALL ♪♪" "♪♪ TILL THERE WAS YOU ♪♪" "MARIAN, THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS" "THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME." "I'M NOT ASKING." "EXCUSE ME." "I'M EXPECTING A TELEGRAM FROM RUDI FRIML." "THIS COULD BE IT." "SAY, WHO'S THE SALESMAN AROUND HERE?" "LOOKS LIKE SHE'S SELLING, AND YOU'RE BUYING." "I TOLD YOU I HAD TO KEEP HER OFF BALANCE." "YEAH." "SHE'S SO OFF BALANCE NOW" "YOU CAN'T TELL HER FROM A CATBOAT IN A HURRICANE." "I GOT TO KEEP HER THAT WAY" "UNTIL THOSE UNIFORMS ARRIVE." "THEY'RE HERE, AND THE KIDS ARE IN THEM." "TOMMY PASSED OUT UNIFORMS AND COLLECTED MOST OF THE MONEY." "NOW HE'S TRYING TO KEEP THE KIDS TOGETHER," "PRETENDING THERE'S A BAND PRACTICE" "DOWN AT THE LUMBER YARD." "WHAT TIME DOES THE FREIGHT TRAIN GO?" "9:4O." "IT ISN'T EVEN 8:3O YET." "LISTEN, YOU BETTER CHEESE IT NOW WHILE YOU CAN." "LISTEN, I CAME UP THROUGH THE RANKS" "ON THIS SKIRMISH," "AND I'M NOT RESIGNING WITHOUT MY COMMISSION." "NOW GO ON." "BEAT IT." "NEVER A PEACEFUL MOMENT IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS." "NOW, WHERE WERE WE?" "YOU WERE GOING TO TELL ME" "WHAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU." "YEAH." "WE DON'T HAVE TO GO INTO THAT RIGHT NOW," "DO WE?" "OF COURSE NOT." "WE NEVER HAVE TO GO INTO THAT, HAROLD." "MADAM LIBRARIAN," "YOU ARE A LADY FROM THE GROUND UP." "THE LIBRARIAN HASN'T FELT MUCH" "LIKE DOING RESEARCH LATELY." "BUT SHE DID PLENTY OF IT WHEN YOU FIRST CAME HERE." "OH?" "ABOUT WHAT?" "OH, ABOUT PROFESSOR HAROLD HILL," "GARY CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC," "GOLD MEDAL CLASS OF 'O5." "HAROLD, THERE WASN'T ANY" "GARY CONSERVATORY IN 'O5." "WELL, THERE MOST" "BECAUSE THE TOWN WASN'T BUILT UNTIL 'O6." "COME ON, WALK ME HOME." "I HAVE TO GET SOMETHING TO DRAW AROUND MY SHOULDERS." "YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME." "I'VE KNOWN SINCE 3 DAYS AFTER YOU CAME HERE." "I TORE THIS OUT OF THE INDIANA JOURNAL." "I MEANT TO USE IT AGAINST YOU." "NOW I GIVE IT TO YOU WITH ALL MY HEART." "BUT IF YOU KNEW" "♪♪ IT'S YOUR SWEET "HELLO, DEAR" ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT SETS ME UP ♪♪" "♪♪ AND IT'S YOUR "GOT TO GO, DEAR" ♪♪" "♪♪ THAT GETS ME DOWN ♪♪" "♪♪ IT'S YOU ON MY PILLOW ♪♪" "♪♪ IN ALL OF MY DREAMS ♪♪" "♪♪ TILL ONCE MORE THE MORNING... ♪♪" "STOP!" "STOP!" "STOP, I TELL YOU!" "LISTEN TO THIS MAN." "WHY, YOU BONE-HEADED," "SQUARE-TOED, TANK-TOWN BOOBS!" "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!" "CAN'T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS" "THAT THIS MUSIC FELLOW'S" "GIVING YOU THE DOUBLE SHUFFLE?" "HE'S PUTTING THE SHAKE ON YOU!" "HE'S TAKING OUT YOUR EYE TEETH" "WHILE YOU'RE LOOKING THE OTHER WAY!" "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, MISTER?" "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M SAYING!" "THERE'S BURGLARS IN THE BEDROOM" "WHILE YOU'RE FIDDLING IN THE PARLOR!" "WHO'S BEDROOM ARE THE BURGLARS FIDDLING IN?" "QUIET." "I'M TALKING ABOUT HAROLD HILL" "A SHELL WORKER," "A FLIMFLAMMER, AN 18-KARAT THIEF!" "YOU MEAN THE MUSIC PROFESSOR?" "MUSIC PROFESSOR?" "NOT ON YOUR FIRELESS COOKER, MISTER!" "FELLOW THAT ORGANIZED THE BAND?" "THERE AIN'T ANY BAND." "THERE AIN'T NEVER BEEN A BAND!" "THERE AIN'T NEVER GONNA BE A BAND!" "AND UNLESS YOU HUNT THIS MAN DOWN RIGHT NOW" "LIKE A MAD DOG," "THERE AIN'T GONNA BE A HAROLD HILL, EITHER!" "HE'LL BE ON HIS WAY TO THE STATE LINE!" "I SAID ALL ALONG, GET HIS CREDENTIALS!" "I GOT HIS CREDENTIALS RIGHT HERE!" "WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?" "I WANT MY MONEY BACK!" "I WANT HIS HIDE!" "FIND HIM AND BRING HIM OVER TO THE HIGH SCHOOL" "ROPED AND HOG-TIED IF YOU HAVE TO" "AND DON'T LET HIM GIVE YOU THE SLIP!" "ALL RIGHT, AFTER HIM!" "HAVE YOU SEEN PROFESSOR HILL?" "HAVEN'T BEEN LOOKING FOR HIM." "I'LL ONLY BE A MINUTE." "[WHISTLING76 TROMBONES]" "♪♪ WHILE 11O CORNETS PLAYED THE AIR ♪♪" "♪♪ THEN I MODESTLY TOOK MY PLACE ♪♪" "♪♪ AS THE ONE AND ONLY BASS ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ AND I OOMPAHED UP AND DOWN THE SQUARE ♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT, MY SOMEONE ♪♪" "♪♪ GOOD NIGHT, MY LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH 11O CORNETS RIGHT BEHIND ♪♪" "♪♪ OUR STAR IS SHINING ♪♪" "♪♪ ITS BRIGHTEST LIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE HORNS OF EVERY SHAPE AND... ♪♪" "♪♪ SWEET DREAMS BE YOURS, DEAR ♪♪" "♪♪ IF DREAMS THERE BE ♪♪" "♪♪ WHILE 11O CORNETS PLAYED THE AIR ♪♪" "♪♪ I WISH I MAY ♪♪" "♪♪ AND I WISH I MIGHT ♪♪" "♪♪ NOW GOOD NIGHT, MY SOMEONE... ♪♪" "GOOD NIGHT." "HE'S NOT IN THERE." "TRY THE LIVERY STABLE!" "TRY THE FREIGHT DEPOT!" "LET'S GO, GREG." "I GOT THE FLIVVER ALL CRANKED UP." "THEY'RE ON TO YOU ALREADY." "THERE'S A CRAZY ANVIL SALESMAN" "RUNNING ALL OVER TOWN SPILLING EVERYTHING." "COME ON!" "YOU BETTER RUN, PROFESSOR." "THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT TAR AND FEATHERS." "I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR WINTHROP." "HE'S RUN AWAY." "MAYBE HE'S IN HIS ROOM." "IT'S NOT OFTEN I FIND MYSELF" "AT A LOSS FOR WORDS, BUT" "IT'S ALL RIGHT." "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT?" "YOU DON'T OWE ME A WORD--NOT A WORD." "HURRY, PLEASE." "GREG!" "HARRY'S NOT AROUND HERE, FOLKS!" "LET'S TRY DOWN BY THE CREAMERY!" "HOLD ON A MINUTE, SON." "I'M NOT YOUR SON." "LEAVE ME GO!" "NO." "NOT UNTIL I TALK TO YOU A MINUTE." "I WON'T LISTEN." "YOU WOULDN'T TELL THE TRUTH, ANYWAY." "I WOULD, TOO." "WOULD NOT." "WOULD, TOO." "I'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW." "CAN YOU LEAD A BAND?" "NO." "ARE YOU A BIG LIAR?" "YES." "ARE YOU A DIRTY, ROTTEN CROOK?" "YES." "LEAVE ME GO, YOU BIG LIAR." "YOU WANTED THE TRUTH, DIDN'T YOU?" "LOOK, I'M BIGGER THAN YOU ARE," "AND YOU'RE GOING TO STAND THERE AND GET IT ALL," "SO JUST STOP WIGGLING." "NOW, THERE ARE 2 THINGS" "YOU'RE ENTITLED TO KNOW." "ONE, YOU'RE A WONDERFUL KID." "I THOUGHT SO FROM THE FIRST." "THAT'S WHY I WANTED YOU IN THE BAND," "SO YOU'D STOP" "MOPING AROUND AND FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF." "WHAT BAND?" "I ALWAYS THINK THERE'S A BAND, KID." "WHAT'S THE OTHER THING I'M ENTITLED TO KNOW?" "THE OTHER THING'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS," "COME TO THINK OF IT." "I WITH YOU'D NEVER COME TO RIVER THITY." "NO, YOU DON'T, WINTHROP." "THITHTER, YOU BELIEVE HIM?" "I BELIEVE EVERYTHING HE EVER SAID." "BUT HE PROMITHED UTH." "I KNOW WHAT HE PROMISED US," "AND IT ALL HAPPENED JUST LIKE HE SAID" "THE LIGHTS, THE COLORS," "THE CYMBALS, AND THE FLAGS." "WHERE WATH ALL THAT?" "IN THE WAY EVERY KID IN THIS TOWN WALKED AROUND" "AND LOOKED AND ACTED" "ESPECIALLY YOU." "AND THE PARENTS, TOO." "DOES MAMA WISH HE'D NEVER COME TO RIVER CITY?" "WELL, YOU DO, DON'T YOU?" "NO, WINTHROP." "YOU BETTER GO, HAROLD, PLEASE." "GO ON, PROFETHOR." "HURRY UP." "I CAN'T GO, WINTHROP." "WHY NOT?" "FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE," "I GOT MY FOOT CAUGHT IN THE DOOR." "♪♪ THERE WAS LOVE ♪♪" "♪♪ ALL AROUND ♪♪" "♪♪ BUT I NEVER HEARD IT SINGING ♪♪" "♪♪ NO, I NEVER HEARD IT AT ALL ♪♪" "TILL THERE WAS YOU." "GREG!" "GREG, THEY'RE HERE!" "RUN THIS WAY!" "GO, PROFETHOR, THAT WAY!" "REMEMBER, FELLOW RIVER CITY-ZEANS," "I DID EVERYTHING IN MY POWER" "TO PREVENT THIS DIRE HAPPENING FROM..." "HAPPENING." ""FOURSCORE--"" "HOW DO YOU PROPOSE TO GET OUR MONEY BACK?" "HE COLLECTED ALMOST $3OO ON UNIFORMS." "I HAVEN'T SEEN A UNIFORM" "OR MY BOY, EITHER." "HE'S A KIDNAPER." "A FINE SITUATION WE HAVE HERE, ISN'T IT?" ""FOURSCORE--"" "JUST A MINUTE!" "VIRTUE HAS TRIUMPHED!" "THE SWORD OF RESTIBUTION" "HAS CUT DOWN PROFESSOR HAROLD HILL!" "OH!" "OH!" "AND IF THERE ARE THOSE, AS I'VE HEARD," "WHO ARE MELTING TAR AND PLUCKING FEATHERS," "I WILL NOT SAY THEM NAY." "I SHOULD THINK SOME OF YOU" "COULD FORGET YOUR IOWA STUBBORNNESS" "LONG ENOUGH TO REMEMBER WHAT THIS TOWN WAS LIKE" "BEFORE HAROLD HILL CAME." "WELL, DO YOU?" "NOW, HOLD UP THERE" "AND AFTER HE CAME" "SUDDENLY, THERE WERE THINGS TO DO," "THINGS TO BE PROUD OF," "AND PEOPLE TO GO OUT OF YOUR WAY FOR." "SURELY, SOME OF YOU CAN BE GRATEFUL" "FOR WHAT THIS MAN HAS BROUGHT TO US." "AND I SHOULD THINK YOU'D WANT TO ADMIT IT!" "YOU'RE WASTING A GREAT DEAL OF TIME HERE!" "IF THERE'S A PERSON IN THIS HALL" "WHO DOESN'T WANT THIS MAN HILL TARRED AND FEATHERED," "LET HIM, BY GOD, STAND UP!" "EULALIE, SIT DOWN!" "[WHOMP]" "[STAMPS FOOT]" "THE REST OF YOU WHO ARE STANDING THERE" "LIKE A COTE OF SHROPSHIRE SHEEP" "MAYBE YOU CAN REMEMBER SOME OTHER THINGS," "LIKE WHAT YOU PAID FOR ALL THOSE UNIFORMS," "TECHNICAL INSTRUCTION BOOKS," "AND BAND INSTRUMENTS" "WITH THE CLEAR UNDERSTANDING AND WARRANTY" "YOUR CHILDREN WOULD BE TAUGHT TO PLAY IN A BAND!" "WELL, WHERE'S THE BAND?" "WHERE'S THE BAND?" "[WHISTLE BLOWS]" "OH!" "OH!" "AWW!" "AWW!" "NO, I COULDN'T." "NOW, THINK, MEN." "THINK!" "♪♪# ♪♪#!" "♪♪#!" "♪♪%$" "♪♪#!" "♪♪%$" "♪♪#!" "♪♪%$" "THAT'S MY BARNEY!" "THAT TUBA'S MYBARNEY!" "WONDERFUL, BARNEY." "THAT'S EDDIE!" "THAT'S EDDIE'S CLARINET!" "♪♪#!" "♪♪%$" "LINUS, PLAY TO ME, SON." "PLAY TO ME!" "♪♪#!" "♪♪%$" "DAVEY!" "THAT'S MY DAVEY!" "♪♪#!" "♪♪%$" "[WHISTLE BLOWS]" "[TWEET]" "[PLAYING76 TROMBONES]" "[BANG]" "OH!" "CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS." "CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC." "♪♪ 76 TROMBONES LED THE BIG PARADE ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH 11O CORNETS CLOSE AT HAND ♪♪" "♪♪ THEY WERE FOLLOWED BY ROWS AND ROWS ♪♪" "♪♪ OF THE FINEST VIRTUOSOS ♪ ♪" "♪♪ THE CREAM OF EVERY FAMOUS BAND ♪♪" "♪♪ 76 TROMBONES CAUGHT THE MORNING SUN ♪♪" "♪♪ WITH 11O CORNETS RIGHT BEHIND ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE MORE THAN A THOUSAND REEDS ♪♪" "♪♪ SPRINGING UP LIKE WEEDS ♪ ♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE HORNS OF EVERY SHAPE AND KIND ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE COPPER-BOTTOM TIMPANI ♪♪" "♪♪ IN HORSE PLATOONS ♪♪" "♪♪ THUNDERING, THUNDERING ALL ALONG THE WAY ♪♪" "♪♪ DOUBLE-BELL EUPHONIUMS AND BIG BASSOONS ♪♪" "♪♪ EACH BASSOON HAVING HIS BIG FAT SAY ♪♪" "♪♪ THERE WERE 5O MOUNTED CANNON IN THE BATTERY ♪♪" "♪♪ THUNDERING, THUNDERING LOUDER THAN BEFORE ♪♪" "♪♪ CLARINETS OF EVERY SIZE ♪ ♪" "♪♪ AND TRUMPETERS WHO'D IMPROVISE ♪♪" "♪♪ A FULL OCTAVE HIGHER ♪♪" "♪♪ THAN THE SCORE ♪♪"