"Now that it's been almost three months..." "Is she pregnant?" "Yes!" "I thought I'd drop by "grandpa", I guess we can call him." "Dad?" "Are you kidding?" "I have more reasons to fear him than you." "But I have good news." "I would like to make you his provisional guardian." "Don't do it." "What's this?" "I'm going to crap on it." "How can you not like your own child?" "Your dad did all this." "If he dies in here, no one would find him for a year!" "How am I supposed to explain that to my son?" "Your brother refuses to take care of Frank." "You are his last hope." "You actually did it?" "You're both crazy." "You're a good person, Georg." "Dad?" "You want Joakim to have divorced parents?" "Joakim?" "We pulled it out of a hat!" "You look like dad does just before he loses it." "Without talking to me?" "I have the flag right here!" "You wouldn't listen." "I had an abortion." "You have killed Joakim!" "Do you realize that?" "How old was he when he started going crazy?" "Have you decided to stay?" "Dear Joakim." "I live at dad's now." "That may sound absurd, after running from him for years." "But no one else will help him." "And it's good for me." "We are very different." "I am Georg." "And he is Frank." "That is ever more evident." "Want to come shopping?" "There's why we bomb the Arabs." "Walking tents, yelling and screaming." "Anything you need?" "The Arabs hide their women behind tents." "Whereas we share our women with the world." "We're generous." "That's why no one bombs Norway." "Thailand!" "That's a generous country." "We aren't even allowed to look at these women!" "Call me if you need me." "They're so busy wrapping their women, they can't even exterminate the Jews." "They've got Israel surrounded, for Christ's sake!" "Hege, my ex-girlfriend, your ex-mother, I guess,   had her father bring my things and take my car, which was hers." "He said she never wanted to see me again." "I quit my job in Oslo." "They didn't even have to replace me." "I left no void by moving back here." "But here I feel needed." "Dad needs me." "The local paper needs a journalist." "Down here I'm a "good person"." "NORWEGIAN COZY" "I'm heading to mom's." "Isn't it finished yet?" "Fine." "I'm leaving." "I'm leaving." "The first Sunday of every month." "At 7 p.m." "The distinguished attorney's secret vice." "Cars." "It's been in the shop for 20 years?" "I doubt it's a real repair shop." "He probably doesn't want the car." "At least he's talking to someone." "Once a month that old wino gets a few hundred from dad." "The car probably doesn't even exist." "That old man gets regular payments from dad, who's blind to the scam." "What do you know?" "Let the old men have some fantasies." "I'm not stopping them." "Maybe they're friends." "Maybe he's not scamming dad." "Have you heard those conversations?" "No, he won't let me listen." ""A new spoiler?" "I bought one last spring."" "But he buys it anyway." "He probably has 7-8 spoilers now." "And he wrote everything down, so he wouldn't get conned." "It shouldn't be politically correct, but the best qualified..." "Can I bring some leftovers with me?" "Are you leaving?" "These Sunday dinners are new to me." "How long should I stay?" "Fine, go home and poop on a flag." "Sweden is next. 60,000 hits, and no advertisers have backed out." "Terje?" "Shouldn't you work on your book?" "I am." "You may not believe it about men, but we can multitask." "Or get a girlfriend." "Or a boyfriend." "Everyone with an IQ over 40 has left town." "Some move back." "Us, Georg." "The crème de la crème." "Go ahead and take some food, Terje." "I'm sure girls will show up, once this thing with Hege blows over." "I'm over Hege." "That was unforgivable." "I'm sure she'll forgive you eventually." "She had an abortion!" "She killed our baby without consulting me." "Don't put it like that, Georg." "I'm sure it wasn't easy for Hege." "For her?" "!" "You have all the time in the world." "I'm 36 years old." "It's different for men." "Look at Mick Jagger." "Or Jan Eggum." "No, not him, but..." "The author!" "Hi there." "Everything OK?" "Sure." "Thanks, but I've already eaten." "Where, if I may ask?" "Mom has started with Sunday dinners." "That's nice." "You're from Sweden." "What's worst about that place?" "It's just like here." "My son got in with the wrong crowd." "What, are you writing something about Sweden now?" "Well..." "Everything in Sweden has to be pleasant and nice." "Can't you be more specific?" "Everything has to be comfy." "Everything is so idyllic." "It's just like Norway, but the opposite." "Hi." "Have you broken the phone?" "No." "Doesn't it work?" "Fine." "Want me to call it?" "Broch-Hansen." "No, it's me." "Hello?" "Arnt?" "It's me on the line, dad." "When's the last time that car mechanic called you?" "Why don't you call him?" "Did I invite you in here?" "Hello?" "May I speak with Arnt?" "This is..." "Arnt?" "Dad?" "Where do you live?" "Do you live up here?" "Calm down!" "Get out of here!" "Get out!" "Take those little brats and get out of here!" "All About Sweden" "Did you sleep well?" "No." "You always slam the door when you come home." "Have you been to the pharmacy?" "Because you were asleep when I came home yesterday?" "Do you have my painkillers?" "For my foot." "They only gave you one package." "Have you taken all of them?" "I can go through those, if you want." "No, I've already paid them." "That's kind of why I'm here." "To help you out." "I can go through them." "Find out which ones have been paid." "Would you like a sandwich?" "Yes, please." "Distrain Notice" "How can you run up an 18,000-kroner bar tab?" "Have you seen his phone sex bill?" "Wow." "We should call the Public Guardian." "Let you administer this money." "The lady at the bank was sure dad was my guardian." "You did strangle a celebrity." "I didn't strangle her!" "Christ..." "People must think I'm crazy." "Any music lover would do the same." "Do you really think she's that bad?" "What did you see in her?" "She may not have soul, but she has other qualities." "And I didn't strangle her." "I just grabbed..." "Let's look at the numbers again." "It goes from there to here." "Dates." ""October 5, 3000 kroner."" "Fantastic!" "Hi." "Hi." "You're happy." "Nice with a guest who can speak." "A beer?" "No thanks." "I just came to tell you that you were right." "Coffee?" "Sure." "According to the bank, dad has paid that car mechanic 423,000 kroner." "And still no car?" "I thought I'd pay him a visit." "Care to join me?" "That sounds dark." "You like dark." "He won't be able to pay him back." "Maybe not." "But we have to put an end to this." "Dad's sending you to strong-arm him?" "Dad doesn't know anything." "Then how do you know all this?" "I have access to his accounts." "You aren't supposed to do this." "Yes I am, Terje." "I finally have a chance to do something useful." "I don't feel like helping him." "He hasn't even asked for it." "Who knows what I might meet?" "Drop it, then." "He's your dad, too." "Why can't you help me help him?" "You're getting involved in..." "Fine!" "Forget about it." "You're obviously too busy." "Muhammed to the register." "Muhammed to the register." "Muhammed to the register!" "This isn't Africa, you know." "No bananas in the trees here." "There." "We stop selling beer at 8 p.m." "What?" "That's the law." "I happen to be a lawyer, you ape!" "Next." "Fine." "Here is 400 kroner." "I have bought, but you have not sold." "Thus we are within the law." "You win, Einstein." "See you later!" "Hello!" "Sorry." "Beer?" "Yes, please." "And one for me." "Don't you ever give up?" "I'd love to let you stay, but..." "Look." "Nice drug-whore hairdo." "Check the date, idiot!" "Happy birthday, Jenny." "No, this one's on me." "Thank you." "I plan on coming back here every day." "Fine by me." "We have to move away from melancholy." "That's so outdated." "Have a look at my latest idea." "See that?" "A lizard..." "Hi." "Hi." "Is Arnt Gabrielsen home?" "No." "You dropping off a car?" "No." "I don't have a car." "Why do you want Arnt?" "I'm here on behalf of my father, Frank Broch-Hansen." "Did Frank tell you to come?" "So you know him?" "I know who he is." "Are you the youngest or the oldest?" "The oldest." "Dad doesn't know I'm..." "Frank would want you to stay away." "Dad has paid Arnt a lot of money over the years." "And I suspect that not everything has gone into that Mercedes." "My dad is not well." "I want this to stop." "It has stopped." "You got your way." "Please leave now." "Arnt will be here any minute." "I'd like to speak to him." "Give me your number." "Arnt is on his way." "I'll wait." "Please." "I'm not dumb." "I know there's no car." "You're not dumb?" "Let me call you." "Hello." "Hi." "Georg Broch-Hansen." "Broch-Hansen?" "What is he doing here?" "He just showed up." "Go inside, Solveig." "He doesn't dare show up himself?" "No need to get hostile." "Tell your father to stay far away from me and my family." "You owe him over 400,000 kroner." "I don't owe him anything." "You owe him 423,000 kroner." "Or a car." "Are you aware that he's insane?" "Of course." "And you've made a bundle as a result." "Have I made a bundle?" "Let's solve this without the police." "You listen to me." "20 years ago your father came here, drank all my booze,   and helped himself to my daughter in her bedroom." "I don't owe your father a damn thing!" "If I see you here again I'll shoot you." "Fantastic!" "See you later!" "Does this pukebox work?" "Pukebox?" "Yes, it works." "Then I'm going to tell your fortune." "This is how your career will be." "No way!" "Yup." "No!" "I think this is good!" "Yes!" "Listen!" "Is that supposed to be good?" "OK." "This is what your love life will be like." "That one!" "Awesome!" "Georg, every time you tell me a secret,   it's never about you, or something you have done." "It's always about your father." "I'm not interested." "I've never even met him." "But it's like he fills half our bed." "What are you so ashamed of?" "Have you done anything wrong, Georg?" "Hi, this is Hege Storaas." "For bookings, call ScanMarket Management." "Otherwise leave a message after the tone." "Hi, Hege, it's me." "Could you please call me?" "I can't figure anything out." "No one knows me like you do." "You're all I have." "I'm nothing without..." "I know you don't like me talking about dad, but he has..." "Shit!" "And I'll bet you've taken judo." "Judo?" "Do I look like I've taken judo?" "Nah..." "I have, actually." "And I'll bet..." "That you played in a band and miss it." "Well..." "OK, yeah." "And you're an only child." "I have a big brother." "Really?" "I wish I had a big brother, or a sister, or whatever." "I don't know." "We're very different." "His life is all about showing dad he has been a success." "That's probably what's made him such a failure." "A failure?" "36 years old and lives with dad." "Have you seen "Eggs"?" "He fawns on dad, dad spits on him." "It's pathetic." "Why is your dad so mean?" "He's a Nazi." "Seriously." "He detests weakness." "Calls Norway a vaginal state." "Where a weak majority conspires against a strong minority." "He is a narrow-minded, cheap, bitter tyrant." "Politically he's somewhere to the right of Genghis Khan." "Your poor brother!" "I've never met anyone my age whose father isn't fucked up." "And people believe that sociobiology bullshit   about being the sum of your parents?" "If we're nothing more than genes, I might as well hang myself." "Sorry." "This got depressing." "Want me to call you a cab?" "Where do you live?" "Why don't we go to your place?" "I don't think that's a good idea, Jenny." "You'll need to explain that." "That?" "That's nothing." "I'm looking for a reason to crap on it." "Sweden?" "I was going to do it alphabetically." "But Afghanistan and Albania..." "You don't want to hear this." "Actually, I do." "No, Terje." "That isn't the problem with Sweden." "Fuck World War ll." "What's irritating   is that they're so damn trendy." "Know what I mean?" "In Stockholm they're, like, fanatically modern." "They're like the Japanese, but not nearly as cute." "Crap on the Swedish flag because they are shallow fucking fashion-whores." "You're right!" "Of course!" "Hello?" "Hi." "It's the middle of the night, Georg!" "I'm sorry." "I just..." "Did you get my message?" "You need professional help." "I can't help you." "I don't want to." "Stop calling me, Georg!" "Hege climbed up the water spout." "Were you a cowboy or an Indian when you played as kids?" "Whatever my brother didn't want to be." "Cowboy." "Me too." "I didn't like the Indians." "All the feathers and screaming." "They're like dumb American rappers." "Lots of bling, but no sense of humor." "Mom loves Native American art." ""They're such wise, primitive people," she says." "Know what my mom does?" "She takes ethnic Indian dance classes." "They dance the bear's spring dance." "They become the bear." "No way!" "You mean..." "You mean the one where the bear emerges from hibernation?" "Are you serious?" "OK..." "It isn't that funny." "Yes, it is, because..." "I have read a lot about bears." "When the bear gets ready to hibernate,   it eats a bunch of resin and hair and stuff." "It gets a resin plug in its butt so it can hold everything in." "Your mother is mimicking an Indian that's mimicking a bear   that's desperately trying to take a crap!" "You have a huge crush on me." "Yes!" "Get out of here!" "How do you know how much I paid Arnt?" "Answer me!" "He's conning you." "I talked to the bank and..." "You have no right!" "I do." "Your finances are out of control." "Who do you think you're talking to?" "Pack your things and leave." "You little rat!" "Shame on you." "Shame on you!" "How could I know it was blackmail because of what you did?" "What I did?" "I know you raped his daughter." "You don't know anything, Georg." "Mommy's spoiled little pussy!" "Get out of here." "I only wanted to help you." "I have been sick." "When the hospital and the municipality sued me,   you never cared." "But now you come running." "And check my bank accounts, like some greedy Jew." "Ask your whore of a mother who your real father is." "It can't be me." "I never cared?" "When have you ever cared about me?" ""When have you ever cared..."" "You spoiled little retard!" "Listen to me, dammit!" "I have always..." "It isn't you..." "Now you listen to me." "I was there for you for ten years,   and you never contacted me, never gave a shit about me!" "But I am here to help you now, because no one else will." "And no wonder, you sick, bitter rapist!" "I'll ask mom who my father is." "There's no way it can be you." "Have fun at the nuthouse." "Muhammed to the register." "Muhammed to the register!" "Muhammed to the register." "Bente?" "Hi!" "Bente, Bente, Bente..." "How are you?" "I'm swell!" "And your boys?" "Georg broke up with his girlfriend." "But he'll find someone else." "We want our children to be happy." "Is Terje getting any help?" "Terje?" "He's doing just fine." "Oh, you're referring to the flag?" "Art is meant to provoke." "He's succeeded at that." "I didn't realize it was art." "Performance art." "He's considered a genius in certain circles." "I wouldn't know." "But remember that Tom and I are here for you." "Even if we're no longer neighbors, and Frank is..." "Right?" "Sorry I said you have plenty of time." "Men also have biological clocks." "No offense." "I've just never felt any ticking myself." "You've never wanted children?" "Nope." "There's clearly something terribly wrong with me, right?" "Just move out and let him die!" "Don't give him any more chances, Georg." "Georg speaking." "Hello." "No." "I don't think I want any more to do with you." "No, I don't think..." "You really don't have to defend him." "I'm not defending him, Georg." "How old were you?" "Thirteen?" "I was 22." "20 years ago?" "19 years ago." "I may have been young, but I didn't feel young." "And your father wasn't that old at the time." "He was handsome and funny." "And courteous." "Seriously." "Dad saw Frank climb out my window." "He fired his shotgun at him." "Christ..." "Our two fathers are quite similar." "They'd probably be friends, if I hadn't..." "That..." "He's been dad's only friend, even though he defrauded him." "Don't you get it, Georg?" "What?" "She wants to meet her father." "Of course." "I wanted to ask you first how Frank was doing." "She?" "It's a girl?" "That's what they were talking about?" "They used car terms, but I think they both understood." "We had no money." "Nine months after Frank left, the car was still there." "He didn't dare pick it up." "So dad called him." "He didn't ask for diapers or clothes." "A new carburetor, a universal joint..." "And Frank paid." "So he must have understood." "Not necessarily." "Jenny would like to meet him." "Jenny?" "Yes." "I just wanted to talk to you first." "And I thought maybe you could talk to her." "I've made a mess of this." "I called my dad a rapist." "I'm tempted to just disappear." "I would have snapped too, if someone called me a rapist." "She's 18, and lives here in town?" "Yes." "He was just paying child support." "Did she just turn 18?" "Yeah." "Do you know her name?" "Jenny." "What the hell are the odds, Georg?" "She's 18, Terje. 18!" "Sure." "But she's mature for her age." "Dad?" "I apologize." "I didn't know." "It was none of my business." "I'll move out now." "I just wanted to apologize for calling you what I called you." "Did you see the car?" "You know there's no car, right?" "Did you see...anything else?" "It's a girl." "Apparently she wants to meet you." "Her mom wondered if that was a good idea." "And what did you say?" "Do you want to meet her?" "I'm a little tired at the moment." "And I need to get this place cleaned up." "It's a mess." "And I need some new pants." "How are you doing, Georg?" "Are you getting your life in order?" "Not really." "So you'll stay a while longer?" "Hello!" "Hi." "A beer." "I told you I'd come every day." "I've got material for Denmark:" "They think they're so laid back." "Probably because they compare themselves to Germany." "But have you ever heard of a funny Dane?" "What's the matter?" "Nothing." "Yes, there is something." "What?" "You having second thoughts?" "No." "Don't you want me to be here?" "Of course." "You can't even look me in the eye." "We have to talk, Jenny." "Huh?" "No." "Fuck you!" "Jenny!" "Shit!" "Jenny!" "Jenny..." "Please, this isn't easy to explain." "I'm the coolest girl you've ever met, and you're chickening out!" "But..." "Because I'm so young?" "Your poop humor isn't very mature, but I love it." "You'll never find anyone else that loves that." "You and I are the same." "Yeah, that's the problem." "Say you don't love me, and I'll disappear forever." "Jenny, you have to believe me." "I knew nothing about this when we..." "Do you have AIDS?" "A girlfriend?" "No." "Then what...?" "Your grandfather made a call every first Sunday..." "How do you know that?" "At 7 p.m." "And he talked to your father." "How do you know that?" "Because he was calling my father." "So that bitter, narrow-minded, psychopath Nazi..." "Dear Joakim." "Today dad asked me to stay." "Not directly, but he did say it." "He needs me here." "I know I promised to find you a mother." "I haven't forgotten, Joakim." "But things have been a little hectic around here." "You have an aunt, Joakim." "A half-aunt." "I just found out." "It's hard to explain, but I think you'll like her." "I haven't met her yet, but your uncle is keen on her." "And he doesn't like anyone." "Another shot?" "And while we wait for you, Joakim, Jenny is just what this family needs." "Grandpa used to lock the door before calling your dad." "My dad." "And he was always extra mean to mom around the time of those calls." "I had no clue." "We're closed." "Meet your half-brother." "Hi, Georg." "Hi, Jenny." "I thought you were a car." "You do resemble..." "Stop!" "What's he really like?" "I want to meet him." "Subtitles:" "Nick Norris"