"Once, an evil magician Troll devised a mirror in which all good and kind vanished while all the foul and disgusting was, on the contrary, reflected and seemed even worse than it was" "Troll's students dragged this mirror all over the Earth and caused much evil and then they desired to get to the heavens themselves but the mirror fell from their hands crashed and broke into tiny pieces" "millions of its splinters scattered all over the world a person, in whose eye such a splinter got inside, would start seeing only defects in everything and his life would become unbearable" "a sad tale" "TEARS WERE FALLING" "Oh, excuse me, Gennady, my husband came in." "Just a second." "Pasha, the table is set and the soup is on the window sill" "Sorry, Genady Akeevich, I'll start over" ""Our fate can turn on us at times So let us say in farewell hour.." "...We'll say to Kovalev in chorus That times without you will be tough."" ""That times without you will be tough" we say that one all together" "Then I'll print it tomorrow and hand it out to each department" "Of course I'll do it in time." "Of course" "Alright." "I will read on" ""You've never been too strict with us Perhaps at times just too much so When dedicating these lines to you We love you so!" "We love you so!"" ""We love you"--chorally again." "In fact, all the last lines are done chorally" ""May your good life flow on as ever As ever sparkling with its youth We give our love in being hopeful That you'll forgive us everything."" ""You are a foe to those who flatter But we're not scared you'll take offense What?" "What did you say?" "The word "foe"..." ""Foe" sounds good, but Her pregnancy is not visible to strangers just yet... but society should not scorn her..." "I agree with the complexity that a boy, a twin is growing up..." "How can one separate them, knowing that twins are biologically so intertwined..." "Daddy-o, whatcha doing?" "Not enough chairs in the house?" "...whatever has happened in another family..." "There's a child degenerating in there, and none of you could care less" "Not good." "...one can say that the whole procedure of this surgery..." "Sorry, Gennady, what was that?" "Dad, maybe I can open the can of sprats for you?" "Will you have some?" "Lucy, can you please stop calling me "dad"" "Why is that?" "I'm just asking" "OK" "Still, why?" "I've called you that from the very beginning..." "I don't want to get into it." "Then what should I call you from now on?" "Comrade Vasin, is it?" "My name is Pavel Ivanovich" "Oh, no, that's for close relations." "I, being a stranger here, will call you Comrade Vasin" "Officially!" "Hello, Comrade Vasin" "How was your sleep, Comrade Vasin" "Eat your salad, Comrade Vasin --Get out of here!" "What?" "Out!" "...And here Teterin is now present... no Gennady, it must be there!" ""And here Teterin is now present He will replace you in your job ...But he'll be the first to feel the loss of How you are leaving us at last"" ""An irreplaceable loss"?" "May I please?" "But that doesn't rhyme" "Hello, this is her husband" "I have my own version, please listen to it" ""And now Teterin's been promoted And everyone feels truly blessed And now let's everyone together Bow down so low and kiss his ass."" "I think the rhyme is good, and Comrade Teterin will like it, too." "What have you done?" "That was Teterin on the phone." "Even better" "Pavel, what are these silly jokes?" "Do you understand how you made me look?" "I will dial it again, you go and apologize" "Do you hear me, Pasha?" "Pasha, what's happened?" "Do you have troubles at work?" "My little hampster, please answer when asked" "Oh come on, I ironed this dress, and now I have to do it all over again" "I find your flattery distasteful --What flattery?" "A person is retiring with a farewell party." "Some warm words for him..." "Who is retiring, Teterin?" "Kovalev is." "Kovalev." "And Teterin is taking his place --Precisely" "What, precisely?" "!" "What?" "!" "Lucy is in tears --What happened?" "What else has he done?" "I do not tolerate calculating people" "Dad, you choose your words more carefully --Go, dad has some troubles" "Dad, who's calculating?" "Lucy?" "How?" "That she married a student without a stipend?" "It's laughable" "Laugh then!" "Gera, don't pay attention to dad..." "She wasn't marrying you" "Who then?" "Me" "This is news --She thought this student's dad took bribes" "...she'd have a summer house and a car --pure nonsense!" "And who asked me to set up a new apartment?" "I asked!" "What's wrong with it." "Every woman wants to have her own home to manage" "Do you have your own premises?" "Go and manage them, then." "Have you seen those premises, Comrade Vasin?" "I've seen all kinds of things." "Comrade Vasin, read me a fairy tale --You have a daddy, he can read to you" "Gera's busy with his diploma work" "Tell your mommy, if she doesn't like it here, the door is wide open." "Excellent!" "I am not keeping anyone" "Dad, Lucy is actually no stranger here." "I forbid you to speak to her in that tone." "Young man, you have no right to prohibit me in anything" "You are an absolute zero --Pavel, stop, it's unbearable!" "I'm in everyone's way" "Pavel, where are you going?" "Can you explain this?" "What, have you lost it?" "!" "I tell this overgrown boy for 3 years now that the tile is falling out, he won't life a finger!" "Pavel, I feel so sorry for you" "Pity yourself for how they'll cripple you!" "Poor girl." "Here, take it as a keepsake from grandpa!" "Pasha, calm down!" "Egoists --Pasha, where to?" "Comrade!" "Why do you look at me that way?" "Me?" "Yeah, you" "I wasn't looking at you" "No." "You clearly were." "Familiarize yourself." "A monthly pass!" "Hey, pal!" "May I join you?" "She kicked me out" "Now she'll start begging me back" ""Come in" she'll say." "I'll say "No" out of principle" "I have no home, no corner of my own." "That's how it is, pal" "And where's yours?" "Who?" "Fedor!" "And I keep silent" "Fedor --Whaaaaat!" "Nothing" "See that?" "I trained her" "And you don't just go back either." "Train her good." "What do you need?" "There are no vacancies." "There are." "I need a room." "What must I do?" "Give me your passport" "And put a $10 note in the passport?" "$ No need for the $10 in your passport, citizen." "Then is it $15?" "Maybe $20?" "Will you leave on your own, or should I call the police?" "Your room key, please --I'm going to the buffet" "The buffet is for the hotel residents only" "Why do you all sit on your butts?" "Get up and open the door for me, as you're supposed to" "Merci!" "Bobylev, this is Vasin." "Do you live alone?" "Yes, Pavel Ivanovich" "May I sleep over at your place?" "With whom?" "Hmm...yeah." "Good lad!" ""People are lost only once..." ""...and having lost their trace, it cannot be found"" ""A person pays a visit to you, Stays awhile and leaves into the night"" ""Leaves..."" ""Leaves..."" ""And if he leaves by day, he still leaves you" ""Let's bring him back this instance As he is crossing the square"" ""Leaves..."" ""Leaves..."" ""Immediately, bring him back!" "We'll chat and lay food on the table"" "We'll bring him home, we'll settle it, And throw a fiest in his honor"" "I came home --Very good" "Did you get wet?" "None of us are infallible" "Pasha, they left." "They flagged down a car and left." "36-63-13" "Yes?" "Please call Lyudmila to the phone --Could you call even later at night?" "Do excuse me --Just a moment" "Hello --Gera?" "Yes" "I was calling Lucy --She's asleep, dad" "Please call her" "Let them stay overnight there." "Don't drag the child back and forth." "She's traumatized as it is." "Good evening, comrade Vasin." "To what do we owe the honor?" "Lucy, you guys come back home in the morning..." "Yeah?" "Well, that is..." "...if you can review your moral code?" "Really?" "Dear Comrade Vasin, we won't come until YOU review your moral code" "our moral code is doing just fine." "just fine?" "!" "Did you take my casette player with you by accident?" "Or did you simply steal it?" "Oh, that's what it's about!" "Grandpa, you accidentally forgot that you gifted this junk to your grandaughter for her birthday" "So if you're missing your music, please buy yourself a new one" "And do check that all your forks are still in place!" "Why do you need that casette player?" "What for?" "Yeah, what for?" "In order to record how you snore --Who?" "Me?" "!" "Enough." "I endured it for 30 years." "Now, enough." "I snore?" "!" "Enough, Ira dear." "If I were you, I wouldn't touch this topic." "The lowliest dog has a right to mercy." "Tell me why you all hate me." "For what?" "Who ?" "Who hates you?" "What are you talking about?" "I've always given you my money to the last penny." "I never cheated on you." "I devoted my whole life to you people" "Pavel, what are you...?" "Don't!" "Just don't say that I am old and bald" "When did I ever say that?" "...that you are ashamed to be seen with me." "I am only human." "I have nerves like everyone else" "Pasha, the thought has nevereven crossed my mind..." "Excuse me, I must wake up early tomorrow" "Good night" "Pasha, you and I never used to fight" "Just tell me, what has happened?" "Have you fallen ill, my little hampster?" "What's with you?" "What for?" "What, my little one?" "What do you paint your lips for in your old age?" "Whom are you trying to tempt?" "Swamp-Queen!" "Alright, you chased out the kids Now chasing me out too" "Good boy!" "Ira" "I am at Dina's" "Dina, good morning, this is Vasin" "Lightened up a bit?" "Pavlik, listen to me carefully" "First, you need to seek treatment." "Take a vacation, drink some herbs, and so on" "Second, Irina doesn't see that you're having a nervous breakdown And you must keep that in mind" "Third..." "Dina, tell her that I regret last night" "There you go!" "Only you will say it to her yourself" "I'm listening." "Go ahead, Pavel" "Desert --What?" "Nothing --Pasha, do you recall the first word little Masha said?" "Remember?" ""Give"" "No, hampster, her first word was "grandpa"" ""Gradpapa." And that's when you spent your paycheck on the casette player and said we would record her" "Remember now?" "Pavel, you hear me?" "No, I am not listening to you." "So long." "Hi, Pavel Ivanovich!" "Again you made a draft." "You have a cold." "Acting like a child." "I'm listening --Tell me, people are saying you're planning to take all dogs outside city limits" "Does that apply to medal-winning dogs?" "What dogs, what for?" "For them to do their doggy business..." "Citizen, lady where are you calling?" "I'm calling you, "vice-"" "My dog has 2 medals and one diploma" "Listen, there's a special organization for dogs." "Let them take them out." "Zenaida Petrovna, did Vasin come in yet?" "Not yet, Valentin Maksimovich" "When he gets in, send him to me right away" "Valentin Maksimovich, please pick up --Say that I'm at the pharmacy" "It's Mamaev" "Hello, Igor Igorevich --Sorokin, what's with your garages" "People go to work, and meanwhile their garages get knocked down" "Everyone had been warned --When?" "!" "A year ago?" "!" "Should have demolished them then" "It was Vasin's idea..." "And now it was more appropriate to give the owners some time" "Understood, Igor Igor'evich" "Zinaida Petrovna --Yes" "Immediately halt the demolition of garages --Is that an order?" "Consider it an order" "Pavel Ivanovich had asked that such an order must be in writing" "What for?" "Starting a paper trail?" "There's a paper shortage in our country as it is." "To have an official document for why those wrecks are still standing" "Alright, I'll get you a written document" "Hello --One minute" "Hello --Is this the communal department?" "Yes --I'm calling about the garage" "Comrades, your children will play on green grass in that spot" "One minute please --This garage hardly bothers anyone" "I'm not authorized to change the management's decision" "So sorry" "What's this I hear about our Vasin going rabid mad?" "I told you he was kicked out of the house" "Last night called me all enraged, asking who I lived with, and could he spend the night over" "Please stop your gossip, nobody wants to know that" "Don't shout at me" "I told you that this is all under Sorokin's authority" "Yes." "Hello?" "Pavel Ivanovich, is it true what they say that now all dogs will be walked behind the far lake?" "They will --How will they get there?" "Individually, or on an express bus?" "They'll get their on their own" "Go straight here --I'll take Lomonosov str." "It's quicker" "Keep going --Come now, Pavel Ivanovich, don't I know this city?" "Spending government money driving around in zig-zags" "So you caught me now?" "Yes, we caught you" "Wait here." "It was supposed to be 20 minutes and it's been almost 2 hours now" "You may go." "I no longer need you." "Aren't you ashamed?" "No?" "Pavel Ivanovich...!" "I called but couldn't reach you, try to understand me" "Knock it down!" "Young people why are you stealing the materials?" "No, the guard let us take it" "Hello --Howdy" "OK, guys, stand up, get closer, let's take the photo" "Hello --Hello, Comrade Vasin" "Sasha, look who's here" "Comrade, please move over to the left" "Cut in a little more" "Ready?" "One second." "Sasha!" "Comrades, I want to know what is happening here?" "A wedding" "In that case, I wish to congratulate the young couple" "that's first of all." "And second..." "The young couple is us" "Then I congratulate you, but I request that you clear the premises." "But we had permission" "Nobody could permit to have a drinking binge in an unfinished building." "You are all adults here, you should..." "I knew this would happen." "Shouldn't have lied to people!" "Attention, I am taking it now!" "Smile!" "Only hurry up." "Pavel, I came for you" "Hello, Pavel --Hello, Dina" "Hello, Pavel --Hello, Dina" "Pavel, there's a therapist, Sklyansky, a brilliant professor" "People wait for 2 years to see him, but he agreed to see you now" "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "Pavel, I know all your principles, but could you get him into a co-op garage?" "He's a worthy person, and it's nothing so bad really..." "With pleasure --Really?" "Yes." "This instance." "With great pleasure." "Pavel...well... get in, let's go" "I cannot --Why not?" "Dina, I already cured myself" "I used cowberry leaf!" "Galkina, write this down: fire the guard from construction site 3 for negligence" "Where should I write it down?" "You'll find where" "Sorokin's been looking for you" "Pavel Ivanovich, may I take an hour off?" "You may not" "I wish to knock down my garage with my own hands" "ask Sorokin --we know better than that" "What is this?" "A sauna --Precisely." "A fire hazard." "And these are?" "Tennis courts" "How many of you work in that factory?" "11..." "Thousand?" "Speaking --Pavel, I'm calling regarding the garages" "I just want to know whose order it was, Vladimir Nikolaevich's?" "Mine." "So that 2 people can swing their raquets." "But it was your idea to delay the demolishion of these garages" "Timing creates the necessary adjustments" "Could you please sign this." "It's my reprimand for professional misconduct" "Did you call Mamaev?" "No" "When he calls, will you let me know?" "Where?" "In the clinic?" "Go make copies of this --Cut it out." "You created this mess, and you fix it" "I said it's a severe reprimand --I was hoping it might be a basic one" "Young lady, you forgot to tear off the label --I cannot, I haven't bought the pants yet" "Pavel Ivanovich, what do you think..." "Call Galkina here immediately!" "Will you sign it or stare at her pants?" "I will not sign" "I already told you that I will not sign" "But why, Pavel?" "We had an agreement..." "That doggy playground!" "The district will put it on this spot --What playground?" "What do you have in mind?" "A place to walk the dogs." "Cuz they've crapped all over town" "And some people are following the dogs' example" "Is this some kind of a joke?" "This is no place for jokes" "Pavel Ivanovich, did you call me?" "Comrades, that's all I have." "Alright, we'll talk elsewhere --We'll tell Efimov about your ideas." "He'll give you dogs to remember!" "Don't intimidate us." "Efimov is also quite manageable --We'll see about that" "No, comrade general, no exceptions for any Gaeva, sorry!" "Gaeva has a permanent garage that is not subject to demolishion" "Galkina, write this down:" "Solov'ev gets no bonus --For what?" "For wasting time dressing up at work --Please don't." "She's a dedicated worker" "She works saturdays and sundays" "May I?" "See Sorokin about garages" "No, she's here to get a piece of my apartment" "Yep --Did I guess it right?" "You're mistaken, Comrade Vasin" "I am returning all the stuff we stole from you" "There!" "There!" "And there!" "I lost the other one." "I'll reimburse you at first opportunity" "Check it, it works --Lucy" "Yeah, I'm a fool and a simple nurse and no match for your son." "But we'll manage to live without your charity" "Lucy, wait!" "I'm just saying, if you are standing on principle, then you should return everything" "The bag?" "We bought it with our own money." "The bag is ours!" ""It is a good omen, ice is melting in the heart..."" "Vasin speaking --Comrade Vasin, this is Kuziatin." "There's a person threatening me with a rifle here" "Where?" "Here, building # 7" "I'll be right there" "These are my mother's earrings." "My most precious possession." "She lost the second one on purpose, so as to hit where it hurts most" "Don't worry, Pavel Ivanovich, everything will get resolved" "You're gathering evidence on me?" "What evidence?" "Don't." "Don't, Galkina." "I can see right through all of you" "Raya --Yes, Pavel Ivanovich" "May I get Kostya for 15 minutes?" "No, his carburator is not working --Got it" "Zinaida, why are you wasting time in here?" "Go, start digging!" "Dig where, Pavel Ivanovich?" "Dig dirt on me." "Maybe you'll find some." "So here we are" "Nikolai Vanechkin is out with a rifle to protect his property" "What a pretty picture!" "Have a look at him." "Have a look!" "Not property, dear Pavel, but justice" "Fedor is a war veteran-invalid, has a Medal of Glory, and he is entitled." "Medal of Glory, you say?" "Yep" "Did you know that this medalist of yours stole my soap?" "How come?" "In 1943, took a whole brand new piece of it" "Happens a lot" "But the main thing here is that Nikolai Vanechkin, my best friend's father is out in the street...!" "Beat it, or there's no telling what I might do" "Pavel Ivanovich, leave or he'll kill you for sure" "Hands up!" "Get down!" "Shoot me." "Go ahead." "Shoot, uncle Nikolai." "Maybe I'll even thank you." "It's not loaded" "A piece of soap" "Comrade Vanechkin take your weapon" "Take a hike, scumbag!" "Kuziakin, where are you?" "Did he leave?" "He did" "I'm here --Turn the weapon over to the police Take a bulldozer and demolish everything." "Everything!" "What bulldozer do you mean?" "It's been called off --Who called off?" "Sorokin called me." "Why didn't you say anything, moron?" "But our main thing was to liquidate this military cell in a touristy spot" "So you haven't knocked down a single garage?" "Sure did." "Gaeva's." "Did it early in the morning --Gaeva's was permanent and not subject to demolition" "You're mistaken, Pavel Ivanovich." "It was subject to it" "I started off with hers." "You need to see me?" "He's not in, Pavel Ivanovich --I know, I know, he's at the clinic" "When he shows up, connect us" "Why are you following me?" "I thought I explained it all in detail" "What else?" "Natalya, where's Galkina." "Don't you hear me?" "I'm talking to you --I'm on my break" "Everyone has a right to take a rest --We know all about that right" "Run out and find her --Let those with bonus pay run around" "In that case, you're fired --Oh, I'm so scared" "Comrade, are you Vasin?" "Vasin speaking." "Hello." "Hello?" "Comrade, so then you are Vasin?" "I am Vasin" "Hello --Semenov?" "Yeah" "Is your bulldozer gone?" "It's leaving --Hold it back" "Hold it there at any price." "It's not over." "The night is young." "I am from the local newspaper" "From where?" "the newspaper" "We're preparing a feature about how living arrangements affect family relationships" "I think you could help us out with this question --I'm on my break" "Till 2pm Hello?" "5 minutes --Be so kind as to wait outside" "Darvatov?" "Speaking, Pavel Ivanovich" "Listen, don't halt the demolition." "Understood?" "Do not halt it!" "I cannot, Pavel Ivanovich." "Let Sorokin call me himself." "Your Sorokin will call you --When?" "I said he'll call you" "Raya, did Sorokin show up?" "No, Pavel Ivanovich" "Have a nice stay --The law lets you work here 2 more weeks" "Nope." "Find yourself some other fool." ""Drops are falling on the rooftops Pouring rain is falling..."" ""...as if somewhere a distant drummer beats his little drum."" "Now you go ahead --Me?" "Yeah" ""Drops are falling on the rooftops Pouring rain is falling..."" "Good job, Masha dear" ""...as if somewhere beats his little drum a distant drummer."" "Other way around." "Drummer first." "But it sounds good anyway." "Now let's sing together" "Grandma, leave cuz we're shy" "1,2,3..." "Daddy, close the door --What, did you buy the whole store?" "Yeah" "I got nothing today." "Go to the cafeteria" "Today I have." "See?" "Ellie baked them" "Pastries with jam Blintzes with cabbage" "So, Pavel Ivanovich, shall we take a ride?" "I dug up some worms." "Made kasha for the road." "Stanislav, let's take you as an example" "While you bring this woman along with you" "So, am I to keep silent about that?" "Of all people, you should know better that she is practically my wife" "So let's not touch this topic --No, let's!" "Since you started this conversation, then let's!" "It's not clear to Masha "practically" whose wife she is, yours or that soccer players." "Vasin speaking." "Hello" "Press the button!" "Hello!" "What soccer player?" "I don't know." "There's lots of them." "Raya, did Sorokin show up?" "No, Pavel Ivanovich" "How do you know about a soccer player?" "Is it rumors, or are there facts?" "Ask your second real wife, she's telling everyone" "May I speak to Kuziakin please --Nonsense!" "She knows nothing at all ...about Ellie's existence." "She never even heard of her name." "Dammit." "Nobody's working today." "Doesn't know?" "Nope --Never heard?" "Nope" "Sofia, good afternoon." "Vasin is troubling you." "Cut that out --Hang on" "Sofia, do you know about the love affair between your husband and your neighbor Elvira?" "Who doesn't know about it?" "Then tell him that --Hey!" "He's in my office." "[Reporter] Now can we talk?" "!" "I of course understand that you're kidding..." "I'M ON BREAK!" "But this is a bad, cruel joke, and doesn't become you." "It's 2 PM!" "1:57" "Sofia, try to see that you're creating an odd situation for everyone" "Why do I have to raise my grand-daughter in a lie?" "She hung up" "Now you know that she knows." "So what?" "Vasin speaking --Hello!" "Hello, do you hear me...?" "She knows." "And so what?" "I hear you --The phone here is not working" "Comrade...sorry, don't know your name..." "Pavel Ivanovich" "Turn off the pot --Sasha Ermakov is renting a room from me" "Bon Appetite!" "...the one whose wedding you visited" "Hello?" "Hello?" "I am listening" "When you left, there was a break-up" "They quarreled badly --How can I help?" "You must let them hold their wedding there moreover, your colleage had given them permission...forget her name" "That's a lie" "Comrade, understand, this is a question of a person's life." "I'm speaking to you, but I had to hide the rope from him" "He's in such a state that..." "Where do you live?" "Anyusin Lane, #5" "Citizen, that's not in our district" "Sorry." "On Wednesday, I came straight to you in the presence of Manohin and Kakaev" "What for?" "And I said that Ermakov, the tram depot carpenter, ...is requesting to hold a wedding in the one-room apartment that was allocated to him" "Why?" "Because he had already sent out the invitations" "You told me to let him go ahead --So..." "I said that this doesn't fall under our authority" "You said that it's not the guy's fault that the fire inspector hasn't approved the building for move-in" "So..." "And that I was being a bookish bureaucrat" "You wanna hang a suicide on me" "Let me ask Tolya to drive you home" "you have a cold, and the city is..." "Galkina, this is so primitive!" "Take me home and put you in my place?" "Only you sign me off too soon." "The night is young." "I'll knock down those guarages and stop that wedding!" "And your extortionist won't get the apartment either" "He will get it --He won't." "I'll speak out against." "I will speak for it, and everyone will support me." "Then there will be no room for both of us under this roof" "In that case, it will be me who will stay" "At last!" "I tore off your mask." "Pavel Ivanovich, Sorokin just came" "Coming!" "Galkina, I thougt you were my friend." "I even wanted to marry you." "When?" "This morning." "What about your wife and kids?" "That does not concern you." "I never cheated on my wife, and I never intend to!" "Holding on to your power chair?" "!" "Trying to please everyone?" "!" "You double-checker!" "Raya, instantly connect Sorokin with the 5th SMU, and say they must return the machines NOW!" "Watch how you poke those fingers." "This is still my office!" "FOR NOW!" "And no need to yell at me" "I can also shout so the windows will shatter" "You're with them, dammit!" "Why are you intimidating me?" "Why do you all try to intimidate me?" "Look at you, commandeering around here" "His wife busted him, so we all have to tip-toe around your hysterical persona" "That's personal!" "Do excuse me..." "My mother-in-law tore out a lump of hair from my head on Wednesday?" "You know about that?" "Does anyone?" "NO!" "Did it show in my work?" "No!" "Because I keep myself in check" "I don't mix personal with professional --Valentin Maximovich, 7th SMU is on the line" "Raya, I am not here." "Here, have some." "From Finland." "You can bring me some in the evening." "Why are you staring?" "Take." "I know where to get more." "And one more thing." "Use words." "They mostly care about words "Little chicken, little birdie..."" "Raya dear, 2 teas please" "Buying me off?" "Please, like I'd bother with that" "Pavel Ivanovich!" "It was Vladimir Nikolaevich's order" "I just came from his office." "Wish I never did." "Know what he said to me?" "That it doesn't fit the place --Fine." "Let's see if he's in the right place!" "Don't get into it!" "Raya, please connect me with the birdie --Sorry, with whom?" "Forgive me, my head is all confused." "With my wife." "Bobylev!" "Pavel Ivanovich, it's my lunch hour now..." "Drive me to the city council --Of course." "With pleasure." "I thought I'd run out and find a bumper during lunch" "It's in my garage." "I came there, but I forgot my key" "It was in my coat --Hey there, Pavel!" "I need to see you --Hi." "Bad timing, come by later" "Listen, what did you say to my dad?" "That I stole some bar of soap from you...?" "Forgot?" "I'll remind you." "May 1943, Boys Village in Amur Region" "My soap vanished in the morning." "In the evening you brought a bottle of booze." "What "Boys"?" "Where we were demoted together" "That girl Manja gave it to me." "Remember, the one with the braid?" "Why did she give you the booze?" "What?" "For soap?" "What else?" "!" "And you kept it for 40 years?" "Bobylev, have some tact." "No, just remembered it this morning." "Saw your daddy-o and remembered." "Like father like son." "Degenerates" "Wait, little hampster" "Here you go." "Go buy yourself some soap." "Wash the dirt off." "Bobylev." "See that?" "Childhood friend." "Let's go." "And this one... get acquainted..." "Pavel, I was just..." "This is Dina, a friend of the family" "Hello --Come this way please --Pavlik!" "This is Elena Kirilovna." "You probably don't know her." "Stay in there, snowqueen." "Take rest, snake." "These 2 dames try to get rid of me by sending me to shrinks" "Looky here!" "Pavel, what shrinks" "This turkey, professor Sklyansky him you know." "He lectures alcoholics on television." "Let's go." "An totally normal jerk!" "Pavel!" "Oh Lord!" "Bye" "Poor man!" "Heart problems, Pavel Ivanovich?" "Do you have a pen?" "Left it at work" "And garage keys, too." "Can we stop over and get those keys?" "My new bumper is there..." "Bobylev..." "If we open up your brain, what will we find there?" "Brains." "A bumper!" "One ball-point pen, please --Can you read, sir?" "It says we're on break from 14:00 to 15:00" "It's 15:00 now" "Can you hear the music?" "When it's over, that's when it's 15:00" "Lady, there's 3.5 billion of us on this tiny planet" "We can reach out and touch each other with our hand." "But we live as if the entire universe separates us!" "I am speaking to you from Venus and you cannot hear me on Mars" "And I shout over to you, lady, darling, sweetheart... please sell me that ball-point pen for 37 cents!" "I really need it." "My life depends on it." "And what?" "How can one live this way?" "What for?" "Get in line, sir." "What do you want, boy?" "An eraser." "5 cents" "You?" "The complaint book" "And a pen." "You may be from Venus." "But I am not from Mars." "Think I'll give you a pen so you can write that I never gave you one?" "I request your attention!" "I was not given a pen, so I will express it orally" "Vladimir Nikolaevich, if you do not instantly cancel your order to halt garage demolition then I am instantly going into retirement." "I am counting to three" "One!" "Two!" "..." "Pavel Ivanovich, this doesn't seem to be the time or the place to discuss this issue." "No, it is!" "I am counting." "Two Two and a half" "Three!" "Three and a half..." "Pavel Ivanovich, nobody can take away your right to your lawful rest..." "Pavel Ivanovich..." "Pavel Ivanovich" "Our car is over there..." "Where to now?" "Back to work?" "Home?" "I have no home, Bobylev" "How about my place?" "There's no one there." "We can watch hockey." "Doesn't matter" "I am leaving you all --Where to?" "Where to?" "To take Sorokin's place?" "Just my own" "Where once was a feast There now stands a coffin..." "What?" "An aimless coffin --Sorry, which coffin?" "No." "Hold it, Bobylev!" "Anyutin Lane!" "I can't pay them all back." "But I will return one small debt." "Stop." "Make a left" "There's a ditch there." "Take pity on the vehicle." "I said, go left!" "Faster, faster." "Why are you crawling?" "Now what?" "A puddle." "Need to check its depth." "Give me the steering wheel!" "Step on it." "We'll cross it by accelerating" "I tell you like an ex-tank driver, step on it hard." "There we are." "I didn't get a chance to buy insurance on it." "Oh, Bobylev." "Can't even entrust you with a simple task." "And to think we're leaving the nation in your generation's hands..." "Open the door for me." "Why do you sit there like an ass?" "Give it a rest, Pavel Ivanovich." "I am not your lackey." "I'm an engineer." "Engineer?" "!" "Where did you get the money to buy this car?" "My dad gave me the money." "And who's your dad?" "A lieutenant colonel" "Which division?" "Oh, whatever." "Do what you people want." "I no longer give a damn." "About everything." "Anyutin Lane." "Taken" "Stop" "Where is "she"?" "She?" "I don't know when they woke up --The rope you hid from him, where is it?" "Oh...it's here in the kitchen --Give it to me." "Here --Thanks" "You're welcome." "I am so glad you arrived." "You spoke so strangely on the phone." "I must inform you in advance..." "No need." "See, Sasha speaks of you in not so flattering terms." "But please pay no mind to it." "Please give me the knife." "Here you go..." "Thanks." "Hold here." "Well hold it!" "I am..." "Where is he?" "In his room." "No, no, this room is mine --Where do I go?" "Right this way, please" "Thanks --Sure" "Sasha, see, Pavel Ivanovich arrived in person." "That hook" "A hook..." "What was here?" "A chandelier" "What kind?" "Crystal, with attachments" "It was sold during the war." "Please hand me a pen and paper" "Got any other kind of paper?" "No." "Only the graph paper." "Aleksandr Ivanovich Ermakov --Move away please" "Alright" "See, Sasha." "He'll sign the permission, I'll go get Nastya, and all will be well." "You already brought one here." "That's quite enough." "Shame on you." "What are you doing?" "By the way, I'll tell you as a woman..." "Citizen, the note is in my pocket." "Don't forget." "Be so kind as to give me a chair --Pavel Ivanovich, why do you bother?" "I kindly ask you." "We can do it ourselves..." "Thank you --You're welcome" "And hand me the rope, please." "Thanks --Sure" "Take this --Thanks" "Be careful." "You're too heavy for this shaky table." "Move away please --Where to?" "There" "You wanted to hang yourself and be a burden on my conscience" "It won't work, Ermakov." "Now, I'll be like a rock on your conscience" "Pavel Ivanovich, what's that for?" "Can you keep quiet?" "I can." "Thank you." "Pavel Ivanovich..." "Why?" "!" "Why lie?" "Why this low lie that there used to be a chandelier?" "But there was." "Magician!" "My respected ones!" "I tell you as a construction expert that hooks to crystal chandeliers are designed to hold 200 kilos of vertical force" "Where do you work?" "In a kindergarden" "Last name?" "Belozerskaya" "Which kindergarden?" "Chukovsky Kindergarden" "Alright." "We'll keep it in mind." "I keep requesting a full overhaul repair of this place." "And here's the result." "Deceivers!" "In my death I request to blame the blackmailer Ermakov, A.I. --Vasin." "...and comrade Belozerskaya" "Quiet, Reddy boy!" "Reddy, quit barking" "Silly boy" "Pavel Ivanovich!" "Solov'eva, humanity will flicker into infinity of space and time" "Like a singular wicked instance" "It will devour itself like a scorpio" "Once, the depth of this water was this high" "We used to dive from the shore, head down" "Nobody will even believe it now." "Dear Pavel Ivanovich, what are you doing to yourself?" "Let's go to my place." "I live here." "There's my house." "I will feed you tea with jam." "You like apple jam?" "I do --Very good." "Solov'eva, --Yes?" "The lake must be cleaned" "Seaweed is such a gem --...yes..." "And it's wasting away" "Solov'eva, you know what..." "What?" "Don't go to work today --OK, Pavel Ivanovich" "Now go change, warm up." "You can make it up some other time." "I give my permission --Sure." "I don't keep a grudge." "Do you know Aleksandr Ermakov?" "Who?" "Sasha?" "I do, why?" "As soon as you change, run over to his place." "Watch your step, Pavel Ivanovich" "Tell him Vasin gives permission for the wedding" "Just as planned before --Sure" "Tell them I'll come later on Sunday to repair their table" "I'll tell." "What's your size, I'll give you my daddy's pants" "if they fit --Thanks, but I can't now." "I have much to do, Natasha dear." "You run ahead and tell him..." "He's not home anyway" "They're at the wedding hall --Solov'eva, you'll catch a cold." "Go change immediately" "Run ahead --I am" "OBLProject." "Hello." "Dina." "It's me, Pavel." "I'm listening." "Dina, please call Ira to the phone" "She's not in." "She left." "Where?" "I don't know." "Pavel, I hate you." "I h a t e y o u" "Vasina speaking --Masha dear" "Hi." "This is grandpa." "Hi Pavel." "How's life?" "Life's fine." "Pavel, you didn't lose my toys, did you?" "No, little one." "Masha dear, is grandma at your place?" "No, she's not." "Did aunty Ellie buy the Hercules kasha?" "She did." "Masha dear, please get daddy on the phone" "No, Gera went to drop off your junk" "Mama's home." "Want her?" "No" "Don't disturb her --She's free." "She's crying." "Want her?" "Please tell her to forget all the stuff I said to her" "Tell her grandpa was under lots of nervous stress" "Did you get that?" "Nervous..." "Solov'eva!" "Sorry, Mashen'ka..." "Solov'eva, I can see you." "What, Pavel Ivanovich?" "I entrusted a man's life to you, and you're roaming around here." "If you don't want to, I'll go myself." "OK, I'm off." "Don't worry." "Vasin speaking." "Oh, sorry Masha dear." "Where were we?" "Stress." "Only don't let them lead you by the nose, grandpa." "You don't have any stress." "You have a magic piece of glass in your eye" "And you must shed some tears very urgently for it to fall out." "Or else your heart will turn to ice" "Cry this instance, you hear me!" "I already cried, Masha dear" "You did?" "Then, grandpa, you must now sing a song" "So that all the imps get scared and threw back their hooves all the way to Tar-tar-are, right into forest-demon's forehead" "Russian style." "Grandpa, Tar-tar-are--where is that?" "That's in the fairy tale, Masha dear" "Comrade, pardon me, is this horse yours?" "The horse?" "No, not mine." "Masha dear, I'll call you back" "Comrade, then it would appear that that's your piano?" "It would --Then I must apologize to you" "I was the one who brought the cart here" "It just happened." "I was in a rush." "Guilty as charged." "At your mercy --And what?" "I wanted to ask: does the owner know that we dragged the horse here?" "He doesn't" "Then it must be returned --What for?" "So he doesn't think to worry..." "He's not thinking." "He got wasted for my $5, and now crashed sleeping by a boat around here" "So what do you want?" "Me?" "Nothing --Nothing?" "!" "Then go your own way" "Look at them!" "Good Samaritans!" "Some get drunk, others chase me out" "Comrade, you're wrong." "I repeat:" "I stole the horse." "While the horse driver whom we are now badmouthing is totally innocent." "One must not think badly of people, not having any convincing proof for it." "Believe me, it's horrible for everyone, and first of all, for oneself." "Prove it." "Prove it!" "What must I prove?" "That you steal horses." "Where are your witnesses?" "I have none." "Just this horse." "That's just it" "But you have the same witness" "What?" "Let's ask the horse about your false logic" "Is that your piano?" "Yeah --Yeah" "No, comrade, I can actually prove that this instrument is mine" "How was that?" "That's no proof." "Anyone can do that." "Oh, anyone?" "!" "Then I will ask you specifically." "I am waiting" "What will you play for us?" "Gershwin?" "or maybe Beethoven?" "Buddy Hey, buddy!" "Don't make noise." "There's people around." "Oh, there he is!" "And what did I tell you?" "Friend, I feel sorry for you --Now do you see?" "Please don't" ""Drops are falling on the rooftops Pouring rain is falling..."" ""...as if somewhere a distant drummer beats his little drum."" ""Rain and sunshine signify a breaking point of fate..." ""..." "Skipping barefoot through ringing puddles I rush to your arms"" "Thanks, Natasha dear" "The End Mosfilm studio, 1982"