"Thank you for being a friend" "Your heart is true" "You're a pal and a confidante" "And if you threw a party" "Invited everyone you knew" "You would see the biggest gift would be from me" "And the card attached would say" ""Thank you for being a friend"" "Morning, Ma." "Taste this." "Mm." "Oh, it's awful." "What's the matter with it?" "It's expired." "But sometimes it's good after the date." "I just wanted to check." "You look tired, Ma." " Rose kept me up all night." " Oh, why?" "I don't know." "She was afraid of the storm." "3:00 in the morning she knocks on my door, crying, begging, pleading to get into bed with me." "Just like your father used to do before we got married." "So what did you do?" "I told him, "You're not getting anything till you put a ring on my finger and a donkey in my father's barn!"" "Not Pop, Rose!" "I told her to get the hell out of my room." "Oh, Sophia, I want to explain about last night." "When I was a little girl, one summer we had a terrible thunderstorm..." "Excuse me, Rose." "Have I given you any indication at all that I care?" "Girls, my father's coming!" "Big Daddy's coming!" "He just called!" "Oh, Big Daddy's gonna be in Miami tomorrow." "I can't believe it!" "I can't believe I know anyone who calls her father Big Daddy!" "Back home, everybody calls him Big Daddy." "Why, he's the most respected and beloved man in our town." "Oh, for as long as I can remember, people from all over the county would drive up to Twin Oaks that's the name of our house to ask Big Daddy's advice on one thing or the other." "And while the men were discussing business on the veranda, the ladies would retire to the shade of an old magnolia to sip mint juleps and exchange prize-winning pecan pie recipes." "Tell me, Blanche, during any of this, would the farm hands suddenly break into a chorus of "Them Old Cotton Fields Back Home"?" "Well, maybe I am exaggerating just a touch, but not about Big Daddy." "Oh, he's a very special man." "He has truly been a father to everybody in our town." "Your mother must have been a very forgiving woman." "Oh!" "I got a million things to do before Big Daddy gets here." "I have to go pick up his favorite food and his favorite brandy and cigars." "I want him to feel right at home." "Then get the Millers across the street to tar and feather their lawn jockey." "I'm gonna go out on the lanai for awhile." "The air's always so nice and fresh after a storm." "As long as you're out there, Rose, why don't you pull some weeds?" "OK." "Ma, yesterday you said you were gonna pull the weeds." "I said I'd get it done and it's getting done." "So lighten up." "Dorothy, Sophia, come quick!" "Oh, my God!" "The storm must have knocked it down last night." "Good morning, ladies." " Morning, Mr. Barton." " Good morning, Mr. Barton." "Well, looks like you had a little bad luck here." "Boy, we certainly did." "Any damage to your place?" "Nope." "Not a scratch." "Oh, thank goodness." "If the wind had been blowing in the opposite direction, your tree could have fallen into your living room." "What do you mean, my tree?" "She means your tree because it was on your property." "No way, lady, this is your tree." "It's your responsibility." "Oh, my goodness!" "Our tree fell into your yard!" "Clam up, Gladys." "This is their tree." "Look, there seems to be some confusion here." "But we are neighbors, what do you say we split the cost and have the tree hauled away?" "What do you say you have it hauled away and I'll split." "That does it!" "You don't have any choice." "You're hauling that tree away, capisce?" "You Italians have got some temper!" ""You Italians"?" "With disdain in his voice, he said it." "Now you're gonna pay." "What are you doing?" "It's the Evil Eye." "I just put a Sicilian curse on you." "You're not gonna have a moment's peace till you haul that tree away!" "You got me shaking in my boots." "Come on." "Oh, Ma, why'd you do that?" "You just made matters worse with that ridiculous curse." "Ridiculous?" "The curse works, believe me." "I've used it before." " Oh, when?" " Baltimore Colts, New York Jets, 1969." "Draw your own conclusions." "Ah, great news!" "I stopped by the courthouse this morning and got a copy of our property map." "The tree definitely belongs to Mr. Barton and it is his responsibility to remove it." "Play it safe." "Stick with the curse." "Oh, Ma, I've stayed with you all these years." "Ladies, how do I look?" "Like the night hostess at Denny's." "This is exactly like the dress I wore to my Sweet 16." "It was always Big Daddy's favorite." "(doorbell" "Oh, there he is now!" "Now listen, girls, my father is an old time southern aristocrat who is used to fine manners and gentility." "So please, please, please be on your best behavior." "Why is everyone looking at me?" " Daddy!" " Where's the old lady?" "Ah-ha!" "You looking for me, mouth?" "Ma." "I'm glad you're here, Mr. Barton." "I went down to the courthouse this morning and..." "This isn't a social call." "This morning, when I got in my car, somebody let the air out of my tire." " I know she did it!" " That's ridiculous!" "If I catch her on my property, I'm gonna have her arrested." "Mr. Barton, I assure you, my mother had nothing to do with your tires." " It was just a coincidence." " Coincidence, my eye." "Now, about the tree." "I got a copy of our property map at the courthouse this morning, and as you can clearly see, the tree is yours." "Oh." "I'm not gonna move it." " Not after what she did." " You have to!" " Sue me!" " We will!" " Fine!" " Fine!" "That jerk!" "Trying to intimidate us!" "Just who does he think he is?" "(doorbell" "What is it, mouth?" "Back home, most people start off with, "How do?"" " Daddy!" " Baby girl!" "Looking at you takes my breath away!" "Hair as shiny as the dew on a field of sunflowers." "Eyes that sparkle bluer than the Mississippi, and the prettiest smile on either side of the Mason-Dixon Line!" "Didn't I tell you my daddy was the smartest man who ever lived?" "You must be Sophia." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "Excuse me for staring, ma'am, but I've always felt that the stunning, classical beauty of an Italian woman should be admired like a fine work of art." "You need boots to listen to this guy." "Daddy, I want you to meet my best friends." "This is Rose." " Charmed." " Hello, how do you do?" "Has anyone ever told you you are the spitting image of Miss Dinah Shore?" "Oh, no!" "You're putting me on!" "Of course he is." "And Daddy, this is Dorothy." "I'm sorry." "I hope I didn't offend you." "No harm done, darling." "Now, I want you to promise me you won't fret none." "Well, I would, except I'm not exactly sure what "fret none" is." "Oh, Daddy, I'm so glad to see you!" " Get on over here and sit down." " Oh, I can't stay, honey." " I've got some business to attend to." " Oh." "But I'll be back later tonight." "I got a surprise for you!" "Oh, did you get me something?" "What is it?" " What did you buy for me, Daddy?" " Well, nothing, sugar." "Oh, fiddle-dee-dee." "Fiddle-dee-dee?" "This is so much fun!" "It's like being in Gone with the Wind." "Well, then what is the surprise Daddy?" "Well, I was gonna save it, but what the heck?" "I'm singing at the Sagebrush Club tomorrow night." "You're doing what?" "I'm singing." "That's my surprise." "And I want you and your friends to come as my guests." "But why?" "Because, darling, I thought they might enjoy it." "No, no, I mean why are you singing?" "It's my calling." "It's what I do now." "I'll explain it all to you later." "Right now, I got to head over to the club and check things out." " But, but Daddy?" " Leave the key under the mat." "Ladies, see y'all later!" "Uh, I can't believe it!" "Neither can I!" "Free tickets!" "No, I'm talking about my daddy!" "Why, this singing thing doesn't make any sense!" "You know, I'm worried about him." "Maybe I ought to go call my sisters." "Oh, come on, Blanche, you're overreacting!" "If you're really concerned, why don't you talk to him?" "You're right." "That's what I'm gonna do." "I'm gonna stay completely objective and keep an open mind." "I'm sure there's some perfectly logical explanation why my daddy's lost the stuffin' out of his comforter." "Oh, sorry, darlin'." "I didn't mean to wake you." "Well, that's all right." "I waited up for you." "I'm glad you did." "I've been working on a new song and I want you to hear it." "Listen, Daddy, I want to talk to you about this singing." "It's been just wonderful, honey." "I love singing." "Now, I know I'm just getting started and I got a lot to learn, but the audiences will come around." "I'll do just fine." "You know, you're talking about this singing like it's some kind of career." "Well, it is." "Now, see what you think of this." "This part needs a little work." "And then now, here's the chorus." "No you won't, Daddy." "Now, put that guitar down, I wanna talk to you." "What's the matter?" "Well, I don't know what's gotten into you." "Daddy, you're no singer." "Well, I know I'm no Hank Williams yet, but..." "No, no, no, that's not what I meant." "I mean..." "At your age, just out of nowhere to decide you're just gonna go off and perform in some honky-tonk?" "I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty crazy to me." "Now, don't you sass me, missy." "No, I don't mean to sass you, Daddy." "It's just that I'm concerned about you." "Now, I want you to promise me that you're gonna forget all about this nonsense and go back to Twin Oaks and have a nice long rest." "There's no Twin Oaks to go back to." "I sold it." "You what?" "!" "Sold it." "Sold everything." "Well, now, if I'm gonna go out on the road and do this thing right," "I need money." "All right, this has gone far enough!" "I will not allow you to disgrace yourself or your family!" "I absolutely forbid you to go on with this foolishness one minute longer!" "You forbid Big Daddy?" "You're the one's gone crazy, girl!" "I'm sorry you had to witness this spectacle, ladies." "My apologies." " Oh, Big Daddy, wait." " Too late!" "You know, if there was some rain coming down, and a soft train whistle in the distance, this moment would have the makings of a first-rate country song." "Bye, Blanche." "Oh, I feel awful, just awful!" "I shouldn't have lost my temper that way." " Honey, you were upset." " Well, that's no excuse." "Daddy obviously doesn't know what he's doing." "He's lost his grip on reality." "Oh, honey." "Maybe it's not as serious as you think." "Maybe he's just going through a stage." "My father is not off on some crazy lark, Dorothy." "He sold our house and our land and everything he spent his lifetime building." "He needs help." "I never thought this could happen to my father." "Other people's parents get old and grow frail and need taking care of, but somehow I'd always thought Big Daddy would go on forever." "Honey, we all think of our fathers that way." "We remember them as strong and handsome and wise." "When I think of my father, I always picture him pulling a giant tuna up Main Street." "Well, who doesn't, Rose?" "Oh, it wasn't a real tuna, it was made of chrysanthemums." "It was the float in the Father's Day Parade." "You probably don't know this, but my home town was founded by Heinrich von Anderdonnen the first man to ever can tuna in it's own natural juices." "Anyway, it was the 50th anniversary celebration of the founding of our town and my father was chosen to pull the float." "He thought it was 'cause he had the newest tractor, but actually, it was 'cause he was the only one small enough to fit into the mayonnaise jar costume." "Oh, I'll never forget the moment we caught sight of him, turning off of Sycamore on to Elm." "Something must have happened to the tractor, 'cause there he was, this lone little mayonnaise jar dragging this giant tuna up the hill, past the reviewing stand." "I don't think I've ever been prouder in my life." "That's very touching, Rose." "It shouldn't be, but it is." "You know, when I think of my father, I don't remember just one incident." "I just know that he was always there to take care of me whenever I got into trouble which was all the time." "I just never dreamed that the day would come when the tables were turned and I'd have to take care of him." "But I guess it has." "Sophia, why don't you come with us?" "It might be fun to hear Blanche's father sing." "To you, Rose, but what do you know about a good time?" "(doorbell" "Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Barton, what can I do for you?" " I wanna see the witch." " Leonard!" "Don't call her a witch, you'll get another boil on your butt." "Tell the world, Gladys!" "Look, you've won." "I'm begging you, take off the curse, will you?" "My golf clubs are missing, my clocks are all wrong, I can't sleep, I can't eat!" "You can't sit." "That, too." "Please take it off." " Move the tree." " It'll be out of here tomorrow." "You got a deal." "Does that mean it's gone?" "That means I shouldn't eat asparagus at dinner." "That means it's gone." "Let's get out of here, Gladys." "I'll be right there." "I just wanted to apologize to you ladies." "Leonard has been just terrible about this whole situation." "That's why I did all those things to him." "Oh!" "It was you all along!" "Except for the boil, that was just luck." "Gladys, we've got to go." "Listen, ladies, if there's anything that I can do for you to improve our relationship, I'd be happy to oblige." "There is one small thing." "In the morning when you go out in your robe to pick up the newspaper, wear your shorts." "I've never been in a place like this." "Are these all real cowboys?" "Of course, Rose." "You can tell because they wear cowboy hats and drink wine spritzers and drive Volvos." "Uh, Blanche, who do we see about our table?" "Oh, I don't know." "This is the first time I've ever been here." "Well, howdy, Blanche." "Hi there, Blanche." "Ladies." "No, I'm wrong." "I think the museum did have its Christmas party here." "What's that noise?" "Oh, they have a mechanical bull in the back room." "I read about it in the Sunday supplement." "What on Earth do you do with a mechanical bull?" "Introduce him to a mechanical cow, Rose." "Oh, excuse me." "We're supposed to have reservations for the second show." " The name's Devereaux." " OK, let's see." "Uh, hm-mm." "I'm sorry, I don't seem to have you listed." "Oh, well, maybe it's under the name of Hollingsworth." " Hollingsworth?" " Mm-hm." "Uh, you're not here to see Big Daddy Hollingsworth?" " Yes, we are." " I'm sorry, you just missed him." "But we thought the second show doesn't start until nine." "It doesn't." "But after the first show, the management cancelled his booking." "Oh!" "I was afraid that would happen." "Do you know where he went?" "I guess he's backstage somewhere." "You go on honey." "Talk to him." "We'll wait right here." "Thank you." "Howdy, ladies." "My name's Rusty." "I don't recollect seeing you two fillies 'round these parts." "Mind if a lonesome cowboy puts his saddlebags 'round your campfire?" "Give us a break, would you, mac?" "Howdy, ma'am, my name's Rusty." "Daddy?" "Sugar." "I didn't expect to see you here." "Daddy, I just heard what happened and I'm so sorry, I truly am." "Oh, don't worry." "It's my own fault." "If I wasn't such a stubborn old fool" " Daddy, now don't be hard on yourself." " Well, it's true." "I never should have tried that Beatle medley." "Next time, I'm gonna stick with the material I know." "You mean you intend to go on with this?" "Why not?" "Honey, because they didn't like you." "That's why not." "You weren't any good." "Honey, I know I'm not any good." " Then I don't understand." " What?" "Well, I don't understand how the man I have admired and respected all my life can turn himself into a clown." "Blanche, honey, ever since I was a boy," "I've never been satisfied with what was easy." "I always wanted to try new things, see new places." "But before I had a chance to do something like hop a tramp steamer," "I met up with a lady by the name of Elizabeth Ann Bennett." "She had the cutest little smile, tiniest button nose, and the most incredible blue eyes I had ever seen." "Those are the things you inherited from her." "And when I looked into those eyes, they told me it was not time to go off chasing rainbows." "It was time to make a life for the two of us." "And I never regretted that decision because I knew that someday, we'd go off chasing those rainbows together." "But when the time finally came, all that was left was a big empty house." "And a headstone that marks her grave." "And I decided that before it was time for us to be together again," "I was gonna go off and have that adventure." "Now granted, this is no tramp steamer, but it's something." "Something I've always wanted to do." "And sugar, I think that now is finally the time to do it." "But why didn't you tell me that before?" "I didn't think I needed to." "I figured if I was happy, you were happy, too." "Oh, Daddy." "I'm so sorry." "You've always been there for me." "I should've been there for you." "And, you think you could ever forgive me?" "Darlin', life's too short to not forgive my favorite little girl." " I love you." " I love you, too."