" Good morning, USA" " I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wondeftuI day" " The sun in the sky has a smile on his face" " And he's shining a salute to the American race" " Oh boy, it's swell to say" " Good morning, USA" " Good morning, USA" "Shoot him!" "Ha-ha!" "Big Bird, just share it with Cookie Monster." "Don't trust him!" "He pretends to eat cookies, but he never swallows anything!" " Good morning." " Your negIigee is see-through." "You are not." "Stan, doesn't today have some special significance for you?" " Today?" "Wait!" "Is today the 14th?" " Yes!" "Yes, it is." "Good God!" "How could I forget a date so dear to my heart?" "It's the big CIA fishing trip!" "You're gonna do laundry anyway, right?" "No time to poop." "I'II do it on the way downstairs." "You're gonna vacuum, right?" "(toilet flushes)" "I'm going to the mail to try to figure out how the piano store stays in business." " hold up." "I'm going with." " Roger, you know you can't leave the house." " Everyone else gets to." " (shouts) Everyone else isn't an alien." "Whoa!" "Somebody had a big piece of grouchy pie this morning." "I can't believe Stan forgot our anniversary." " I would never forget our anniversary." " We have one?" "October 25th, the day you forgot to put on underpants." "Let's celebrate early." "Quick!" "StraddIe mein bowl." "Do Mommy a favour and put on something less revealing." "There is nothing inappropriate about this." "Not if you're gonna spend the weekend tinkIing on Bob Guccione." " God, Mom!" "Were you ever cool?" " Oh, yeah, hayley?" "(as Mr T) well, I pity da fool who thinks I'm uncool." "Get it?" "I was making a Dr T reference." "Guess where I'm taking you this weekend." " Burning Man" "It's an awesome celebration where they burn this wooden man." "It's life, love and the power of community." "No, it's a bunch of naked morons drinking and doing lots of drugs." "What are we, 12?" "Wait." "Before you decide, this is a microcosm of the power that is Burning Man." "Argh!" "Imagine this, but 70 feet tall." "Argh!" " (Stan) Ah, nothing like the great outdoors." " Who's ready to do some fishing?" " Yeah, yeah!" "Let's go fish!" " This is Cast Master One." "Bring in air support." "Look, it's ariel!" "Hey, ever do it with a dead mermaid?" "Mermaid?" "No." "Oh, my God!" "Lindsay CooIidge." "(Snot) could she be any sexier?" "(in Japanese)" "Gross!" "She'd never do that, Toshi." "Besides, where will we get a dozen Ping-Pong balls?" "Hey, Steve, she's coming this way." "Ask her out - unless you're afraid." "You forget yourself, Snot." "Steve Smith is never afraid." " would you Iike to go out with me?" " I'd love to." "On one condition." "Find a date for my friend jewel." " No problem." " Here she comes now." "Hey, jewel." "Steve's gonna set you up on a date." " I'd Iike you to meet my friends." " GodziIIa!" "I can't believe that Dummkopf forgot your anniversary." " And after what happened last year." " Oh, that was classic." " Bad boys, bad boys What you gonna do?" " Thatjerk forgot our anniversary!" " Keep her away from me!" "OK." "OK, I'm cool." "(shrieks)" " This is my favourite part." " Here it comes, here it comes." " (crash)" " Wow!" "He could never forget a beating like that." "He's just waiting for the peftect time to surprise me." "After all, our anniversary isn't over till midnight." " Midnight fishing is great." " Someone doesn't want to go home." "Yeah, I'm laying low." "Today is the anniversary of a huge fight me and Francine had last year." " Yeah?" "What about?" " I forgot our anniversary." "Huh!" "I'm never gonna do that again." "Uh..." "Ah..." " Argh!" " There it is." "Good, you're up." "I have a special anniversary surprise for you." "Your favourite song, sung by America's sweetheart, Whitney Houston." "Come on, daddy." "I..." "I need my fix." "First you sing, then you get your precious cocaine." "How dare you!" "Do you think I would...?" " No matter what they take from me" " They can't take away my dignity" " Happy anniversary, sweetheart." " Come on, Whitney." "Go get it." "What a peftormer." "well, Iet's turn in." "You know what?" "If you don't get why this day is so important to me," " I guess you never will." " Sweetie, I made a mistake." "Take a page from hillary clinton and let it go." "No!" "This is the most inconsiderate thing you've ever done." " I am never going to forget this." " I was afraid you were gonna say that." "Which is why I got you this card." "It'II make everything better." "There's nothing that could..." "Ohh!" "Thank God for top-secret CIA technology." "Lose the Iast 20 hours of her memory." " That oughta get me out of the doghouse." " Francine?" "Francine, can you hear me?" "Don't kick me out!" "The bouncer said I couId, Iike, meet Def Leppard." " Def Leppard?" " Francine, what year is it?" "Duh!" "1985?" "Hey, anybody got some gum?" "I wanna get the taste of roadie out of my mouth." "Why the hell does my wife think it's 1985?" "Instead of erasing the Iast 20 hours, I must have erased the Iast 20 years." "Oh!" "I guess this is the dial for hours, and this is the dial for years." "Yeah, yeah." "The last 20 years of her memory have been erased." " well, go ahead and undo it." " Reverse brain erasing?" " That's just science fiction." " Kind of like the female orgasm." "That's great." "You gotta do stand-up." "You gotta." " You're not the first person who's said that." " I bet I'm not." " Anyway, Stan, the procedure is irreversible." " You're kidding." "'Fraid not." "But if you figure something out, we'II name the discovery after you," "like they did for Johnny FIyswatter, or Doug Reach-Around." "You erased Mom's memory?" "That's what the experts say, but there's no way she could forget me." "Who could forget this?" "Or this?" "Or these?" " Go on, give 'em a squeeze." "It's not weird." " She's coming to." "One look at me, and her memories of our love will come flooding back." "Narc!" "Narc!" "(screams)" "What?" "Oh, God, is there a bee on me?" " Does it look Africanised?" " Hey, baby." " (screams)" " Mom!" " You idiot!" "Why would you do that?" " I thought it was like the hiccups." "OK, this is gonna be harder than I thought." "Maybe we should watch the video." "Has your loved one's memory been lost?" "Hi." "I'm forgettabIe actor bill pullman." "You might not remember me from while You Were sleeping and Twister." "Wait, was I in Twister?" "." "No, that was bill Paxton." "See?" "Memory can be pretty tricky." "So if you tell your loved one what happened, their brain will implode." "Good luck." "I'm bill pullman." "Oh!" "I was also in Independence Day..." "Jeff DanieIs is right." "We have to maintain the illusion that your mother is still 18," " or it's going to get very messy in there." " So what do we do?" "When she was 18, she lived in West LangIey, so we need to get her back into her old apartment." "You can be her roommate." "I don't want to live with Mom." "Besides, someone lives there." "(knocks)" "Good day." "I'm a friend of your child." "He or she has asked me to take you to a wondeftuI retirement home." "How lovely." " Right in here, ma'am." " Oh, you're such a nice young... (oId lady) hello?" "Am I supposed to vote now?" "please, Pete." "Lindsay won't go out with me unless I find a date for her friend." "She's not that bad-Iooking." "And besides, you're blind." "Come on!" "You went to the winter ball with that guy." "Yes, it was a guy." "hello?" "(sighs)" "There's not a human being alive that would go out with that girl." "hello." " Who are you?" " Uh..." "hayley, your new roommate." " Oh." "Right." "I must have blacked out." " Wait a second." "You party?" "totally. (sniffs) I need a shower." "(unzips) Great grizzly Adams!" "Who fired the gardener?" "unbelievable." "How did she ever hook up with a stiff like Dad?" "I'II tell you how she hooked up with a stiff like me." "It was 20 years ago." "I didn't normally pick up transients, but for her I made an exception." "Her T-shirt said "Bad girl", and her eyes said "Read the T-shirt."" "My God, she was beautiful." "She was cold to me, but I was hot for her, hence the moderate temperature in the car." "And then fate scampered across the road." "It was on a slow train to Death City, so I asked the conductor to skip the next few stops to..." " Oh, I shot it in the eye!" " Oh!" "She said it was the most compassionate act ever." "And I got to kill something." "It was a magical moment." "There." "If you want Francine back, just recreate that moment." "You're a genius!" "That's how I'II bring back her memory." "You just gave me my reach-around." "Hey, old lady!" "Par-ty!" " (giggles)" " Wow." "(Stan) Upstanding Conservative to Dirty liberal." "Drop point ahead." "Can you check the back tyre?" "The car is riding kinda low." "What the hell...?" "You crazy bitch!" "I Iove you!" "You got me!" "Game on." " Ride?" " Thanks, Pops." "Are you, Iike, a narc?" "I feel like I've seen you before." " First time we've met, Francine." " What?" " Nothing." "Stick of your favourite gum?" " What?" "Look out!" "O sweet masked bandit of nature, Iet me put you out of your misery!" "actually, I don't think you hit it." "No, he's suffering pure agony." "Oh, my God!" "Stop!" " Are you crazy?" " Crazy with compassion!" "Come on, watch me blow its head off!" "Die!" "Die!" "So that you may know peace." "Truck!" "Stop the car, you psychopath!" "Argh!" "Raccoon!" "No, I'm never coming home." "Because you're smothering me, Linda." "I was wrong." "I'II be home by nine." "Because I promised Derek I'd meet him for a drink, that's why nine!" "And let the love come flowing back." "Stay away from me!" "(sighs)" "( - "I'm alright" by Kenny Loggins)" "This is great." "By the way, great call on this Rasta disguise, Steve." "I'm "ganja" wear it all the time." " Hey, Steve." "Is this your friend?" " Yeah." "Lindsay, this is Roger." " Nice to meet you." " Charmed." " And this is jewel." " Your date." "Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "I'm out!" "I'm out!" "Eww!" " Hey, we had a deal." " Steve, she's so ugly." "So ugly." "Too bad!" "I snuck you out so you could be my wingman." "Now, make nice with jewel, or go home and rot in the attic." "Steve! "Jamaican" me crazy." "Sorry, I've had that one loaded up all night." "Ah!" "This picture was taken on our honeymoon." "It's the only photo of Francine where you can't see Vaj." "Ah, Vaj." "The little island boy who served as our tour guide." "I see from her wristband that you were at a sandals aII-incIusive resort." "Hm!" "Fancy." "(gasps) Wait a minute." "I know just the thing to trigger her memory." "(loud rock music)" "hayley, I thought we were going to" " Burning Man!" "Sorry, but my mom decided to throw a rager." "Besides, Jeff, I never said I was going." "Party foul!" "Consume!" "I had this boyfriend." "He was in an avalanche." "He survived three days on melted snow, and his grandfather found him because he had a dream about the exact spot where he was trapped." "Wow." "You had a boyfriend?" "Oh, you... you have a little thing..." "Oh, Roger, stop it." "I don't have a hard time looking at you." "At me?" "I can see past your hydrocephaIic head and into your beautiful mind." "You're russell Crowe, I'm Jennifer connelly." "Yeah, you're Jennifer connelly." "(high-pitched) UncomfortabIe." " Get a room, you two." " Maybe we should lead by example." "We could just go back to your place and make out." "Yeah, OK." "I understand." "well, I had a fun time anyway." "See you at school." "Huh?" "OK." "(pounding rock music)" " HayIey, where's your mother?" " In the kitchen serving up body shots." " What a hostess!" " She's not here." "There's a note on the fridge." ""HayIey - me and Jeff went to Burning Man together." "Rock on!" " Francine."" " My mother stole my boyfriend!" " Your boyfriend stole my wife!" "Let's get back at them by dating each other." "Wait..." "Daddy didn't think that through." " The sandman's starting to goose me." " Here, have some coffee." " KIaus!" " When you come home and pack," "I heard you talking about Burning Man." "So I says to meinseIf, "Road trip!"" "Stan, by the way, I couId not hold mein pee-pee." "I only went out with you to get jewel a date." "But you're less of a dork than I thought." "Stick around." "I think you'II find I'm a Iot less of everything." "You can do whatever you want to me." "So I can crate you and hide you in that warehouse at the end of Raiders?" "So funny!" "(gasps) Kiss me, funny boy!" "(shrieks)" "I know, I know." "Bad for the ozone." "(rock music)" "Yeah, Burning Man is great this year." "Argh!" "Argh!" "We've been searching all night." "Let's just start fresh in the morning." "Francine?" "Francine?" "I'm notjust saying this to be clever." "I feel like a fish out of water." " Why the flower?" " On our wedding day," "I placed this flower in your mom's white bouquet." "It symbolised her sunshine brightening my otherwise cloudy world." "Dad, I've never seen this side of you." "It's so sweet." "If you tell anybody, I'II kill you." "I'm serious." "I will reach into your chest, pull out your beating heart and eat it." "Every last bit." "well, sweet dreams, angel." "It's not you, it's the timing." "I just got out of a bad relationship." "You're lying." "I'm a loser." "Don't be like that." "You're not a loser." "Think how pretty you make people look by contrast." "That's a gift." "Got ya!" "You're an alien!" "Oh, my God!" "Lindsay!" "Lindsay!" " Roger is an alle..." " (metallic thud)" " Roger!" " She was all over me, and my wig fell off... (screams)" " Did you see where they went?" " Who?" "The black guys who did this." "(rock music)" "Mr Smith!" " Where's my wife?" " She ditched me." "I just ran away with her to get a rise out of HayIey!" "Don't kill me!" "You ran away with my memory-erased mother to a festival just to get my attention?" " Did it work?" " Did it ever!" "You know, we're about to go on tour to Bangkok and Amsterdam." " This hot piece of mama's coming with us." " I am ripped off my ass!" " Francine!" " You again?" "Look what I have." "Remember." "please remember." " How long till it kicks in?" " For God's sake!" "We're married." "You love me!" "Look, you're a stiff." "I couId never fail in love with a suit like you." "A suit like me?" "well, then I'II get rid of the suit." "Huh?" "Huh?" "Look at me." "Nothing stiff here!" "Hey, it's never gonna happen with us." "Never!" "Because hang gliding makes me feel alive, Linda, OK?" "Francine!" "(panicked breathing)" "Don't worry, I'm leaving." "I just wanted you to be safe." "(vomits)" "You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I took it for granted." "I'm just happy... ..that I got the privilege to be with you for the time that I did." "OK, my shoes are full." "I'd better go now." "I Iove you, Francine." "It's a little late, but... happy anniversary." "Remember..." " Stan?" " Francine?" "Stan, it was so weird." "And I was alone and confused." "And there was this raccoon, and I knew who I was again." " Oh, Francine!" "Thank God!" "I Iove you." " I Iove you too, Stan." "(vomits, he spits)" "That was gross." "I still love you." "Thanks for looking after me." "I'm so embarrassed." "Don't be." "You were fun." "In fact, you were cool." "Oh." "Hey, funny story." "A little longer and their last 24 hours will be forgotten." " Thank God." " You are not off the hook." "I am deeply disappointed." " Dad, I was with this one." " Oh!" "well, outstanding." "Visiontext subtitles:" "paul Murray" "Bye!" "Have a beautiful day." "ENGLISH SDH"