"What would you like to drink, sir?" " Coke, please." " Here you go." "What would you like to drink?" "What would you like to drink, sir?" "What would you like to drink, sir?" "What would you like to drink?" "April 7th, 1997 Emperor Inn in Yeonsinnae," "The day we first made love." "I could see forsythia abloom in the garden, everytime I pushed my body on top of yours." "They faded as time passed." "We fit perfectly, like two pieces of a broken mirror in the legend of a hero searching for his lost father." "When we fit, with a click, I knew that I had found my other half." "April 12th, our second time." "Jamshil River Park." "Unlike its name, that was hot-floored room." "You were so passionate and after a long sex, we lay on our stomachs on the floor and listened to the sound of the rain." "I was looking at you, smiling at me, lying on your stomach with nothing on." "I was happy." "May 1st, Labor Day, Amnokgang Inn in Shinchon." "The day I discovered the immense potential of the finger." "May 5th, Children's Day." "The Green Inn in Noryangjin." "Birds fly across the blue sky." "Stream rushes across the green fields." "On this bright blue day in May, we made love all day inside the room." "A broken mini fridge and Chrysanthemum patterned sheets." "May 17th, Gyeongbuk Inn in Shillim-dong." "Celebrated your birthday with my entire body." "Acacia in full blossom outside the window." "You said, the acacia scent smells like semen." "[ Skipped item nr. 37 ]" "Green cab, korean driver with mustache and short." "Uh, here's a rice cooker." "I'm a bit late." "Traffic was bad." "Ah, the mustache?" "It's hot, so I shaved it off." "Let's go." "Let's go." "The traffic was really nasty." "I have a date tonight with someone." "So, I shaved it off." "Who allegedly dislikes men with mustache." "[ Skipped item nr. 48 ]" "You smoke?" "No." "Then could you blow this for me?" "Wow, you an athlete or something?" "Some lungs you got there." "Let's go." "The second time I got caught, they put this here." "Damn unlucky, I only had a bottle of Soju." "I have to blow the tube every single time and the car will start only when no alcohol is in my breath." "And so fucking hard to blow it, too." "First time here?" "Yes." "And you can't speak Korean?" "Yes, I can." "But I don't." "Why not?" "[ Skipped item nr. 65 ]" "Your ears fucking deaf or something, or you don't wanna bother answering me?" "Well, I can see nothing's wrong with your ears." "Where are we headed?" "1788 Crenshaw Boulevard." "What's your name?" "Iron, iron Palm." "Iron?" "You don't have a korean name?" "No, I flushed it down the plane toilet on my way here." "is something wrong?" "How she's gone?" "Who's supposed to be in the house?" "Who?" "The girl I love." "Where are you now headed for?" "Any motel." "I've been listening to you talk." "You don't speak English like that here." "To speak authentic English, you have to use "fuck" real well." "When I first came here, I tried myself to learn proper English, but it's no use." "All you gotta do is use fuck." "And vocabulary," "Koreans spend all their time memorizing all those words." "But all you have to do is point with your finger and say, "this motherfucker", that's it." "Wanna see?" "Hey man, you know where is fucking Convention Center?" "Go straight three more blocks, then you'll see that motherfucker on your right." "Oki-toki!" "No problem, man." "See?" "That's native English." "Ah, today English become." "Come on in." "I've been busy these days." "So, it's messed up." "Sit, sit over there." "Well, I used to sleep there till I got the mattress in the room." "It's still good, though." "And you got lucky." "30 bucks a day cost just half of cheap inns." "The view is great out here." "Wanna see?" "I want to rent your taxi from six to ten p.m." "One hundred and fifty a night, so this is for two nights upfront." "And this is sixty dollars, because I think I have to use your sofa until my work is finished." "But, I will cook breakfast every morning for you." "All right, but then where are you going?" "Deal or not?" "Deal... but I prefer toast and coffee for breakfast." "Jinnie can't live even a single day without Soju." "So we're going to start checking all the Soju bars in Koreatown." "Look at all these drunks." "Can you even make out their faces?" "Hey, what are you doing?" " Let's go." " She's not here, let's go." "Excuse me, where're you guys from?" "What kind of inspection is this?" " We're looking for Jinnie." " Who's Jinnie..." "The girl I love." "She was the leader of the her high school brass band and she gave this to me when she left Korea, told me to blow it when I miss her." "You fucking morons..." "Yes, sir!" "[ Skipped item nr. 130 ]" "[ Skipped item nr. 131 ]" "The bolt and nut will fit as long as they're the right size." "I can't understand why you have go through all this trouble to find that girl." "Man and woman are not nuts and bolts." "I know, I know." "You're trying to tell me you love her." "But what is love, anyway?" "Whoever the woman is, share your skin, grow fond." "Then that's love." "Look, this is Los Angeles." "There are hundreds of thousands of Korean women." "Not only that, White, Black, Hispanic, all kinds of women." "That's why this is called the melting pot of women." "You know why I came to America?" "To drown myself in that melting pot." "I can't stand Korean women." "So, I can't understand guys like you who'd die for a Korean girl." "What is that?" "We'll start again, from the very top." "Don't you know that you haven't paid me for the past two days?" "You're broke now, aren't you?" "Why don't you come work as my pick-up partner?" "It's just like Narashi in Korea." "You can make money, you've got to hang around bars, also and can keep looking for your girl." "Yeah, I've known you only a few days, but I know by now that when you shut your mouth like that, it usually doesn't mean much." "Well, let's go and get a drink tonight to celebrate our new business partnership." "Let's drink in peace tonight." "Well well, look who's here?" "Hi, Dongsuk and iron!" "Good to see." "What happened to your face?" " Who you happy to see?" " You know who." "Come on, have a seat." "Well, Budweiser for me, first." "Ok, and Coke for you, right?" "I told you we're here just to drink..." "Who's that girl?" "That's Jinnie." "It's Jinnie's Soju time." "Jinnie?" "Jinnie!" "Hey, what are you doing?" "Take it easy. I'm talkin' to you." "Hey, I think you should leave." "Nobody touch me!" "Jinnie!" "Jinnie!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Stop, Choi Gyeongdal!" "Bruce Lee dare to fight." " Jinnie?" " Yeah!" "Very sorry to say that but Greg, the boss, says no more Soju time and no more fighting." "Sorry again." "So you still practice that iron Palm thing?" "Of course, you wouldn't be you if you didn't." " l forgive you." " Forgive?" "For what?" "I came here to marry you." "But Gyeongdal, why are you speaking English to me?" "Don't call me Gyeongdal." "My American name is iron Palm." "When you left Korea, you told me you throw away all about Korea and Koreans." "So I threw mine away." "I flushed it down the plane toilet on my way here." "I said that?" "Well, Korea had never been good to me." "A problem kid in high school, couldn't get into college even after three tries." "But still, it's weird you talk to me in English." "Speak Korean." "Your English is not even that good." "There is no other woman for me but you." "You are my woman." "This is all I've thought about for the last five years." "All of a sudden you appear, and got me drinking." "Hey, Gyeong-dal!" "I'm happy to see you again, but you're at a bar and I'm not even gonna charge you, so bottom up your drink, oh, no... your Coke." "Because of you, I just lost my Soju time." "Jinnie, this is no joke for me." "When you left Korea, you said you loved me." "Back then, we slept together nineteen times." "Every time, you said it was good." "So, what have you been doing for the past five years?" "Did you go to college?" "No, but I did my military service, worked at my dad's fruit store, studied English very hard, and got my U.S. visa." "Visa?" "It took me a whole year to get a one-month tourist visa. lt's hard when you're single and unemployed." "I basically, died." "All of sudden, you were gone without a word, and all those nights, I..." "Hey, don't give me that soap opera crap." "Did I leave without a word?" "I said, there's nothing for us in Korea, let's go together to America." "It was you who couldn't even get a minimum TOEFL score." "So you know how hard I worked to learn English?" "I've tried every English schools in town, even did my military service on the U.S. base." "In those years, you never called, no letters, not even e-mail." "Why should I?" "Okay, okay." "It's all my fault, so let's stop this." "Turn left over there." "Here, a hundred bucks for substitute driving service." "No tips, sorry." "Jinnie!" " Gyeongdal, go back." " No." "I'll stay right here with you." "Or else there's no hope in my life." "Stop it!" "Stop all this nonsense about love." "So you and I had some good times." "How many, what, nineteen times?" "Yeah, that was good!" "But does that still make me your woman after all this years?" "Go back." "There's nothing you can do in L.A. with that iron palm business and your Konglish." "You fucking moron, do you have any idea what fucking time it is?" "I said I loved you when I left?" "That was just like a good-bye." "Something you can say to anyone." "This love thing, is no use when you're apart." "You can't see it, that's not love at all." "Are you going to wait until you turn into stone?" "What can't you say when you're fucking leaving." "I love you, I love you, I was saying." "I was thinking inside, I won't ever see you guys again." "Bye, Han River, till next time." "Oh, my God!" "Are you crazy?" "!" "It's bleeding, you freak!" "What's this?" "Look at your fingers!" "They're all hard and black with burns." "Has life been so hard that you had to do this to yourself?" "Oh, my god." "What've I done?" "Hi, baby." "You waking up?" "You can't open it like that." "Heineken doesn't come with a twist cap." "Use this." "Why are you taking so long with a beer..." "What brings you here so early, you didn't even call." "Are you headed somewhere, yes, of course, you're going to work." "I love your suit, looks so good on you." "Did you have breakfast?" "Hey guys, why don't you say hello?" "This is Choi Gyeong-, no, iron." "He's from Korea." "And this is Admiral, my boyfriend." "Remember I mentioned him once, the cousin I grew up with." "The cousin who's the same age as me." "Nice to meet you." "Admiral, Admiral Lee." "Me, too. lron, iron Palm." "I don't properly hold him." "Let me go." "Did he eat something wrong?" "Iron, here, here!" "My rice." "Listen very carefully." "I will not let the consumers of our brand buy this crap." "This is low-grade marketing and that's something I detest." "Any questions?" "What kind of relation is that in korea?" "Cousin?" "Cousin is cousin." "Cousin." "No, what I mean is, what kind of a place does a cousin have in the family genealogy?" "Well, there are different kind of cousins." "Well, Chinsachon, ljongsachon, Gojongsachon and Eosachon." "I don't know I can explain all those in my English, but, let me try." "Chisachon is when father's brothers have children, ijongsachon is when mother's sisters have children, gojongsachon is when father's sisters have children, eosachon is when mother's brothers have children." "Oh, there's one more." "Eutsachon." "So, did you do it?" "Your boyfriend knows about lron?" " He's seen him." " When?" " The morning after." " Where?" " My place." " How did it happen?" "Let's see, iron was in his boxers and I was in my nightgown." " And then, what happened?" " l told him he was my cousin." " Cousin?" "He bought that?" " l don't know." "But the lie really gets to me, you know. I hate that." "Jinnie, I personally think that iron is really a nice guy, but if you want things really covers your boyfriend, then shouldn't tell him." "Men won't forget these things even if it did matter to you, they just won't forget." "So this thing with iron, you should carry it to your grave." "Trust me!" "is that the boyfriend?" "You lucky girl, you have a lot of hunk." "Hi." "You know that cousin of yours, is he ijong, gojong, or eosachon?" "What?" "I mean, is his mother your father's brother's wife, or just a sister, or is his father your mother's brother, or your mother's brother's wife's sister's husband's..." "Oh, no, look what I'm really trying to ask you..." "Ad, I wanted to talk to you about my cousin." " He's actually..." " Oh, my God." " l'm so sorry." " lt's okay, it's only water." " lt's all right." " l'm so sorry, look at you... I could take it to the cleaners." " No, no it's all right." "Don't worry about it." " lt's really sorry." " Really, really it's OK." " OK." " You okay?" " l'm okay." "What was it you were about to tell me?" "Your cousin..." "Yeah, he's my dad sister's son." "Sometimes I don't understand car's fun." "You have nice landrover, but you still drive this car sometimes." "Why is that?" "What's he doing here?" "To learn English. lt's a fad nowadays, in Korea, to come here for language courses." "Funny, he didn't really seem like the studying type to me." "I know, but he's a pretty determined guy." "When he was attending a college exam prep school after flunking the first time, he had a major crush on this girl, but all year long, he never got to talk to her, just watched her from afar." "And on the last day of school, he was standing in the hallway and the girl was playing, running with her friends." "He thought if he let this chance go by, he'd regret it all his life." "So when she passed by him, he had to make her stop somehow and talk to her." " So what did he do?" " He pulled out his leg and made her trip." "So she fell and got really hurt, her knees bleeding, it was a big scene." "Oh, God." "And then what happened?" "I don't know." "But he surely is a determined guy." "Yeah, I'd say he's a determined guy." "What a funny cousin you have!" "Yeah, he is, isn't he?" "Iron!" "Iron!" "Hello, cousin." " l don't give up anything." " Give up what?" "Hey, don't do that." "You are my cousin, now." "I don't like it but things go like that." "So, don't tell him the truth until I do, please." "Then we can find time to settle up this problem later on." "What are you guys talking about?" "And what's with this bouquet?" " Hey, iron, you're not going to give up what?" " My woman." "Actually, he came to L.A. looking for his girlfriend, who's a student here." "And then he went to see her today, things did not work out." "Lucky me, because he's giving the flower to me instead." "Really, I don't give up my woman." "Ad, how about presenting this flower to me in style?" "Might as well put on a romantic act, since we got the prop anyway." "Yeah, yeah, sure honey." "Iron, don't you ever give up your woman, ever!" "Baby, I love you." "Why is he headed for your place?" "Uhm, he's got no any place to stay right now." "I think he's gonna have to stay with me, just for the time being." "Only for the time being." "Let's go." "Umm, very nice." "Let me try one." "Aren't you going home?" "Driving in the midde of night..." "No, I think I'll just crash here tonight." "Which put in this one?" "Squeezed onions." "Wanna try one?" "Well, I'm going to bed." "Good night, both of you." "Goodnight, Mr. Iron." "Ad?" "We have a guest." "And?" "Don't you think it's rude for the two of us to take the bedroom and leave the guest out here?" "But it's not like all three of us can share the bedroom, or the living room for that matter." "Nor is it any more appropriate for you and the guest to share the bedroom, or for me and the guest to take it." "Any other suggestions?" "You and iron can take the living room." "But I can't sleep with a guy!" "He sleeps in his boxers." "I know, you've been crying." "You really did love her, didn't you?" "She must have left, saying she's going to America to study, and you must have spent all this time thinking only about her." "But how, she probably got a boyfriend here. lsn't that how happened?" "You first understand why she got a new boyfriend in the first place." "Courtship is a kind of a business." "In this case, there is one woman and two men who want her?" "A complete imbalance in the demand and supply." "But consumer, in other words, the woman now demands only this product, while in the past she used to demand only the other product." "But the consummers need of change, and the old supplier can no longer meet the new needs that have developed with the consumer's move to the States." "From the consumer's point of view, it seem as if she's now switched and completely adapted herself to soft, quilted toilet paper, but worry not, my friend." "The rough, recycled rolls from the past keep showing up." "Am I right?" "Of course, I'm right." "I'm the Admiral." "So, what exactly are her needs is she has moved from Korea to America, more specifically, California." "And several years have passed, so by now she's completely adapted to the California lifestyle." "And what is that life style, my cousin?" "Light and bright, just like the sun that shines all year long." "First of all, the look in your eyes doesn't go with California." "No one here thinks just like in such a somber manner." "Second of all, no one here wears like thick heavy clothing." "Look around what people are wearing." "This is the style worn in California." "Get out of here." "Even weddings, people get married in twenty minutes for a hundred bucks in Vegas." "Iron you have got to become this lifestyle here, light and cool." "Look when I first met Jinnie, she also missed her boyfriend back in Korea." "Did I feel insecure about it." "Of course, not." "Why?" "Love is an invisible feeling and it easily comes and goes based on visible conditions." "I need that girl as Californian girl as quickly as possible." "Every weekend, I took her out to Santa Monica to go sailing, to concerts at the Hollywood Bowl, we dined at restaurants with sunny patios, we partied at friend's houses in Malibu." "Until Jinnie's old boyfriend became an unbecoming presence in Jinnie's new lifestyle." "It's only two months, but now I feel like this is my home." "Maybe I'm desert type." "Even back in Korea, I feel relaxed whenever I was at sandy beaches." "So, let me stay, even if all I can do is just watch you from a distance, please, Jinnie!" "You're free to watch, but please, don't get into my life, confusing me." "I have things to do here!" " Cut!" "Jinnie, what's the matter?" " What?" "We already discussed that this girl would not react like that." "Let's get it right." "Great job, iron." "Smooth, and not too heavy, Love it, really nice." "Okay, let's go again." " Thanks for coming." " Have you been waiting long?" "No, only for two hours." "So, what did you want to see me about?" "I'm going to stay." "I won't say I love you." "I'll just watch you from here." "It's only two months, but now I feel like this is my home." "I look out at Hollywood hills in the morning and it feels so familiar." "Well, that's great. I mean, you're free to stay if you want, but I don't want to see you." "I'll try, but sometimes, only sometimes, I'll just watch you from a far, and maybe there's something I can help you with." "There's nothing. I already have a boyfriend, and I love him." "So don't interfere with my life anymore." "But I love you, too." "That has nothing to do with me." "Nothing to do with you?" "My life depends on it!" "What do you mean, is your life so worthless?" "You think I'm doing this because my life is worthless?" "Fuck, you think nothing better for me to do than coming here?" "Don't you know how I feel?" "I've tried to forget you, to meet someone new, but I just can't!" "Can't forget your breath and thighs wrapped around mine!" "Cut, cut." "What the hell are you guys saying in Korean?" " We're talking nice, so you keep out!" " What?" "Stop it!" "Let's stop this nonsense!" "Ad, iron isn't my cousin, you get it?" "The guy I used to love, the guy I left behind in Korea, that's lron." "And the girl lron came looking for, that's me." "And remember the day you first me Iron?" "Yeah, I have sex with him that day." "I didn't mean to, but it just happened." "I'm sorry about it." "We just need to cut this clown act." "You get it, you guys." "It's okay, but seems like the apple juice and Soju are not mixing too well." "That's the problem." "Can't get it right no matter how hard I shake this mixer." "Too bad, because this was going to be my main item for the contest." "Contest?" "There's going to be a contest in Las Vegas next month." "If I win a prize there, it's going to help me get a liquor license." "Jinnie!" "You're really going to open a bar!" "None of them came by last week, right?" "FWS is looking for MWS?" "Female white single is looking for male white single." "Female black single looking for male black single." "Shit, not a single female looking for an Asian guy." "These people, they go for Asian women, but not Asian men." "Hey, iron, why is that?" "We got fucking dick and balls just like all the others." "Look, iron, call this number for me." "Your English is better than mine." "Here, here." "That's a guy." "Eh?" "That's a white guy looking for an asian guy." " What?" " Hey, scoot, quick!" "[ Skipped item nr. 475 ]" "First fasters, they got away." " What will it be sir?" " l forgive you." " What?" " l forgive you." "You men, did you all go through some sort of relationship training boot camp?" "Look at how you and iron talk exactly the same." "Forgive me?" "I'm sorry if you were hurt because of iron and me, but it's not something for you to forgive." "The question is whether you feel the same way about me after this." " Jinnie, marry me." " What?" " l thought you were against marriage." " Well I changed my mind." "Let's get married." "And that iron's probably locked up by the ins you now, waiting to be deported." " Jinnie." " Hold on." "Iron!" "Another Martini here?" "Martini for me, too." "Martini?" "But you can't drink." "I'm gonna serve you coke, so, drink it." "Martini!" "You know what the new free economy is?" "You leave economical order entirely to the rule of the market." "Now, me, I've never lost at anything." "Whether in business or academics, there're plenty of guys who crashed trying to compete with me." "You wanna be the next?" "Come on." "All right, both of you." "Take it outside." "Iron, iron, come on." "Pull yourself together." "Jinnie?" "You remember last time when we were in Seoul, it was your birthday and I got really trashed like this." "Jinnie, do something, he ruins the car!" "Can we just drop him off at a parking lot or somewhere?" "Ad!" "He's not simply drunk, he's dying!" "Iron!" "I only drink when I want to die, or I'm so happy that I could die." "So are you just going to sit back and watch him ruin my car?" "You, new guy." "Watch how much you stuff into those bags." "What if the bag tears up, it smells real bad." "Okay." "Hey, Mr... have you seen an iron around here?" "I'm lron." "What kind guy of name is that?" "What kind of iron are you?" "For ironing clothes?" "Or for hitting golf balls?" "Who you guys?" "Us?" "We're postmen, and we got a letter from a guy named Admiral." "Iron!" " Hey, are you okay?" " Yeah, okay." "Bastard!" "How dare you break my car!" "Hey, you two!" "You guys look like puppies from here." "If you keep fighting, I'm going to jump." " No!" "She's already had two bottles of Soju." " What, two bottles?" " No!" " No!" "The view's great form up here." " Calm down, we're not fighting." " Jinnie!" " Hold on, calm down." " l feel like the whole world is mine." " Jinnie, Jinnie, wake up!" " No." " Jinnie, wake up, honey!" " Jinnie!" " Jinnie, Jinnie, no!" " Jinnie!" "If Jinnie dies like this, I'm going to regret it forever." " Regret what?" " l didn't let Jinnie go to you." "If I did, none of this would have happened." "Frankly, I'd rather lose her like this than to lose her to someone else." "What a joke. I broke my leg." "Let's go." "This calls for some Soju." "You may take her home." "She should stick to light exercise that will keep her other muscles from regressing." "But... which one of you is her husband?" "Neither." "Then..." "Boyfriend." "No heavy exercise until the bones are back to its place." " Okay, right on the sofa." " Easy." "Easy." "Can you get me the cigarette over there?" "Okay, stop!" "Stop, both of you!" "Put it down, now." "Okay." "Listen. I really hate you fighting over me." "And it's an undeniable fact that right now I cannot choose between the two of you." "So, there are seven days in a week, Monday through Sunday, but when God set this up, he said on Sunday everyone should rest." "So, let's take Sunday out." "Now, we got Monday through Saturday" "Divide this into two, we get three day each." "Am I right now?" "As you both know, my condition requires someone's help, so I would like to divide your arrangement between" "Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday." "Okay?" "You fucking bastard!" "Are you all animals?" "Taking turns sleeping with that girl?" "What's this Mon, Wed, Friday business?" "I can't stand that girl." "But you guys are even worse." "Have you trashed your pride and human dignity?" "What'd your mother think?" "If she knew her son was taking turns going in and out of this girls' apartment?" "You know what, my mother died seven years ago." "And stop babbling when you have no fucking idea what you are fucking talking about." "Have you ever truly loved a woman?" "You're a guy who thinks a bolt can fit a nut as long as it's the right size." "A guy like you will never understand me." "So you think you know me, huh?" "I bet you don't know this." "You are happy thinking only about your turns." "There are other days, too." "On Tue, Thu and Saturdays, the girl you die for spends all day with another guy." "And one more thing." "Don't you poke your fingers into my rice anymore." "They're dirty and disgusting!" "I think I've seen this in a movie..." "Are rice cookers commonly used?" "No. I've adopted this skill to suit the modern times." "Our students are mostly children, are you saying you want to teach this to the kids?" "The iron palm skills helps children have healthy bodies and also teaches other valuable life lessons." "Like?" "Such as how to cope with the pain that we come across in life." " Pain?" " Yes sir." "Pain." " How is it?" " Horrible." "The apple juice and Soju don't mix well in this shaker." "It's odd." "Let me try." "Try this." " How is that?" " lt's good." "Mixed nicely." "Ouch!" "Better follow the doctor's orders." "No heavy exercises." " Hey, isn't this Wednesday?" " l'm not going there anymore." "Hey, that's great news." "You really have your mind set?" "Listen, someone's fixing me up with Mainland girls tonight." "And she's hot!" "You wanna come?" "That's not what I mean." "I'm going to get my legal status." "And marry Jinnie, that way I can be with her every single day of the week," "Monday through Sunday." "As you know, you're not an official full-time coach at our center." "So I can't let you borrow our name as a working visa sponsor." "I know that there is a rank promotion game soon." "I heard that Master Kim will hold a demonstration match for it." "I was wondering if I can be his match partner and lf l can ever defeat him, I can also be promoted as a master." "It's true we haven't found his partner yet..." "Thank you, sir." "Thank you." "Attention, vow!" "Ready." "One, two, three..." "Hey, iron!" "Go get him!" "Six, seven..." "One, two, three, four, five..." "Oh, my god." "What happened?" " What's going on?" "Who did that to you?" "Admiral?" " Hurry, bring me some ice." "You okay?" "I think your martial arts works only at Shaolin." "It's too high standard for these guys in L.A." "But I promise as your patron, I'll get back at that Master Kim." "Probably not a real face-off, but I'm going to strike from behind and run fast as a rabbit." "I will revenge." "I will promise." "Gloria, will you marry me?" "You have green card, right?" "So if we marry, I can get my legal status, too." "After that, you can just divorce me." "You understand, right, that I need a green card to be with Jinnie." " So, iron hasn't been around?" " What?" " l asked if iron hasn't been around." " Yeah, sure, why?" "Hey, sweetheart!" "What are you doing?" "That's not very hygienic." "This is California?" "Your place is gonna close in less than a month running a food business like that." "Kick up, ready, go!" "Hey, Mr. Jackie Chan." "What are you going to teach us today?" "Hey, kid, look here." "Here's our great master lron Palm." "Maybe he's going to show us the amazing rice cooking technique." "is Mr. Cho lk-deok the director here?" "Yes, what is this about?" "What is it about?" "It's about lk-deok or whatever, not paying back our boss." "Looking for trouble, huh?" "Oh, what would you know?" "I know a little bit of fencing myself." "Come on, come on!" "Now, now, gentlemen." "Please calm down." " This is a place of teaching for the young." "So please." " You think we like doing this?" "We're here because we have to collect the money." "At least you understand how sharp the knives are." "Come on, come on, get it." "Come on." "Let go!" "Let go, let go!" "Bro, bro?" "Let's go, you stupid!" " You gonna be sorry for that!" " Shut up and go. I'll get you." " All right!" " All right!" "What are you doing?" "I thought you couldn't drink a single drop." "Hey, got any snacks to go with this?" " Bro?" " What?" " l got hired by the center, as an official master." " Yeah?" "I'm all prepared now, to go back to Jinnie. I've got a job, and my legal status." "I knew this would happen." "Guys like you spend all their lives going after girls like that." "It's Jinnie's birthday on the 19th." "That's when I'm going to get down on my knees, to propose to her." "But before that, I want to clink my glass with Jinnie's and share at least one drink of Soju with her." " So what do you want from me?" " Teach me to drink." "Just one." "One drink." "I despise guys who say they're physically incapable of drinking." "Soju was never made to suit the human body." "Liquor is no health supplement." "They're supposed to make your head, your stomach ache." "So why do we drink Soju?" "To abuse our bodies." "Why abuse it?" "Because life is sad." "So we gulp it down and say to that fucking sadness, hey, sadness, I had a drink today, I'm ready to take you on." "Come on, try it." "Hold up the glass." "Hey, sadness, you bastard." "I'm ready for you today." "Then gather all your sad memories inside your head, pour the drink into your mouth." "Start to drink up." "My wife had just left with our son to see her family, and I found them lying in the hospital morgue." "That's why I came to L.A., man." "I couldn't live in my fucking country with my fucking memories." " You did it!" " Bro!" "Easy." " Hey." " Yeah... yeah." " Help me up." " Easy, easy." "Careful, baby." " Oh, my God, yeah!" " Yeah?" "I'm happy for you, babe." "I was hoping you get it off before your birthday," "'Cause it's going to be a special day for me, too." "What do you mean?" "It's a secret." "What?" "You want me to commit a crime for you?" "No, no." "Not exactly a crime, just hold him up for an hour." "Hey, I think I've done enough for you." "I asked you not to drag me further into this business" "And now, you want me to deliberately cause an accident?" "I got two dwi records." "And one more offense can get me deported." "I plan to live here, man." "Bro, my life depends on it." "Just this once, and I have nothing more to ask from you." "Just scrape his car a little, just a little, just enough to hold him up for an hour." "How could marriage proposal go well with if he's there?" "Why did I ever bring you here from the airport?" "Happy birthday." "Come in." "Do you remember your birthday five years ago?" "Gyeongbok Inn in Shillim-dong?" "The scent of acacia blossoms is like the smell of semen?" "A lot of time has passed." "Neither of us knew back then that five years later we'd be sitting own with Soju in an apartment in California." "I felt really bad when you got injured." "Now that you're okay, I am very happy." "I have been thinking about you and my life and now I have a conclusion." "But first... let's say cheers." "But you can't drink." "I practiced very hard." "That tastes good." "I've finally learned to like this." "Uh, Jinnie..." "Tastes super today." "I skipped lunch to savor this taste." "Jinnie, uh,..." "Do you feel it?" "Jinnie, I..." "Just a second." "Sweetie!" "Happy birthday!" " For you" " Thank you." "[ Skipped item nr. 749 ]" "Dong-suk!" "Happy birthday..." "Sorry, I was in such a hurry to get here. I forgot to pick up something for you." "You don't need to do that." "I'm so glad you're here." " Happy, happy birthday!" " Thank you so much." "Iron, haven't seen you around in a while." " Happy birthday to you!" " Right." "There you go!" " Did you wish?" " Yes, I did." "Thank you, everybody!" " Thank you so much." " Lovely prettey accasion here." "Okay!" " Pretty girl!" " Thank you, sweetie." "Certainly you can never look more lavishing than tonight." " How sweetie!" " Loves to baby." " Gloria, another lavishing young lady." " Oh, yummy!" "Looking very sweet as well." "Here you go." " Full" " Full, full!" "All right, from my taste!" "There you go!" "Thank you." "Here, iron!" "is it raining out?" "I said, is it raining out?" "Iron, this is L.A.!" "What are you talking about?" "We should bring the fruit inside if it's raining." "The forsythias and azaleas are all going to get soaked." "Bro, the girl in the tobacco shop." "She says to me, hi, you're all soaked." "So I say, oh, this is nothing." "And she laughs, making this tongue-rolling sound." "Bro, why do you keep staring at the Soju bottle?" "You want a drink?" "You shouldn't drink so much." "How come you want a drink whenever it rains?" "It's not good for you." "Look, I prefer 'This' to 'This-Plus', and then I wanna get a bottle of Soju with the change." "By the way, I haven't seen a postman for a while." "You know, the guy who doesn't even smoke but often buy a cigarette." "Actually, the other day at the park, I saw him smoke blubbering, and having a cough." "It could be very sad, and I know exactly how it feels like." "And the other day which is on Arbor Day," "He was going cuckoo, cuckoo outside the girl's house." "But the window was kept tightly shut, but he goes," "Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo!" "And I did it as well, lying in my room, cuckoo, cuckoo... praying to open the window!" "What the hell is he saying here?" "It was still raining out there, and he kept saying cuckoo, cuckoo... ls he trying to ruin our party?" " Dongsuk, you do something!" " lron!" "Let me go, bro." "This is the very important moment in my life." "Love..." "love can make you blind." "And you could die for that amazing love..." "Fuck you!" "Get out of my life." "Bastard!" "It's been vicious day." "You don't understand." "I don't want that playing." "Everything was perfect, everything was perfect..." "Admiral, you can go." "Sorry, Ad. lt took me a long time to get the bail money because the banks were closed for the weekend." "Where are you going?" "Not you. lt turns out you're an illegal alien." "The Ins will be here in a couple of days and take you." "So enjoy the American air while you're still here." "Gyeong-dal, Choi!" "We've been looking for you for two months, so you can imagine how happy we were when you crawled in here." "Then it turns out that your application for a working visa has been approved." "While we're working our fucking ass off, tracking you down on foot, the high ranks sit in their offices issuing visas for criminals like you." "Sign here." "Welcome." "We may be in America, but we should observe our traditional customs." "Eat up." " Bro?" " Why?" " Hey, this." " What's this?" "You spent a lot because of me." "But this... I don't need that anymore." "Here we are." "Beer for you, coke for iron, a little of bit of Soju for myself." "Let's have a toast to iron's comeback to earth." "So, iron you okay?" "About what?" " About Jinnie going to Vegas for the cocktail contest." " Good." "With Admiral who had a business meeting over there." "What a coincidence!" "Good." "Good." "So you okay, excellent!" "Have your coke." " This is for you." " For me?" "This is Jinnie's main weapon for the cocktail contest." "You know what it's name?" "Iron Palm." "It sure this run some over sixty, but I've never been through this far." "Wait!" "It doesn't belong to me." "And clean shirt, so you can be a very handsome groom." "I'm sure Admiral is gonna try qucik wed at a wedding chapel, so, we need to go through all the chapels in Vegas." "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you..." "Asian male, tall, sexy... nonsmoking... I swear I won't believe your fucking promises, never." "You'll never come to your senses before your entire life goes down the drain for a woman." "I want my money back, my car." "I love Jinnie." "And Jinnie loves me, too." "Wow, it's awesome." "This is the city of an angel built in a desert." "Look, look over there!" "Bro, there are about fifty wedding chapels in Las Vegas." "We have to start searching them right now." "Why don't you get your whistle out?" "Hey, baby, there you are." " Congratulations, baby." " Thanks." "Well, now that you won your prize, you can apply for that liquor license, lease a space and open a bar, just like you always dreamed." " What's this?" " See what it says." "That's the space for the bar." "Thank you." "My God, thank you," " Sweetheart, there's one last thing we gotta take care of." " What's that?" "Sweetheart, listen very carefully." "You need legal resident status in order to maintain the liquor license." "Same with the building contract." "If not, everything you've worked for could be lost." "Come on, it's only twenty minutes." "Twenty minutes and you'll be a permanent U.S. resident." "And you'll be able open a Soju bar on the hottest spot in L.A." "Have you thought of a name?" "Jinnie's Hot Soju." "I'm not ready to get married yet." "And there something I need to take care of." "Something..." "Well, if you're talking about lron, I'm sorry to say that the police found out about his illegal status and he's going to be deported." "You know, he's a real bum it turns out." "Did you know that he's already proposed your good friend, Gloria, just to get a visa?" "Not gonna chew it up this time?" "This is no time for joking." "We got five left." "Next one is on Las Vegas boulevard which..." "There, turn right." "We have a variety of Elvises." "We have the premium Elvis, me which is 80 dollars, then we have a standard Elvis which is 50 dollars, and then economy, 30 dollars." "Wow, I guess, I'm a standard kind of guy." " So, you're standard." " Sure." "You don't know what you miss out on, but the..." "See, that's 100 dollars for use the chapel, total comes 150 dollars." "Now, if you... go this room over here and get changed." "You know, they say all scars have a story of its own." "You have a special memory for this one?" "No, it's nothing." "Happy moments make a lot of people cry, but try not to cry too much." "Your eyes will got swollen, that definitely doesn't look nice in pictures." "Elvis will be with you in a minute." "Let's go this shit fast." "Elvis style." "Quiet, quiet." "You Admiral Lee, right?" "Your last name is Lee?" "Okay." "Do you love this woman?" "when raining, wind blowing fucking hard, you love only this woman, to keep your wife until black hair turn like onion roots white?" "I do." "Bride Jinnie Han, do you really love Admiral Lee?" " Personally, he's not my type." " What?" "Anyway, there are some days of raining, wind blowing fucking hard, but you love only this man, love and obey, even though he do shit and fuck up, don't get mad, even though he fuck up with other woman." "You married to him, so love him and wait for him, all day, all night, wash his socks, wash his panty..." "Bride, Jinnie Han, do you really love Admiral Lee, even though, he cheat you you love only this man, obey your husband?" "But Admiral is decent man, he won't do that, right?" "Oh, decent, you said decent, then let's talk about 'decent'." "He is so decent that he told ins about guy who he was battle over a good, he is fucking decent." "He said gansters to beat the guy up." "So, do you take him as your holy groom?" " What?" " You liar!" " Who have I've done this things to?" " Me." "Iron!" "You, filthy moron!" "Quiet, quiet!" "What about the other groom?" "Not in the left but in your right." "He is like Admiral said, a real stupid moron." "He never forgot a woman who left him five years ago, got 530 TOEFL score after take seven times, and fucked up stomachache only because he wanted to have some Soju with the girl." "This man is not Elvis." "This man is not the real Elvis Presley." "Guard, get this man out of here." "He's not the real Elvis." "Elvis's been dead for twenty five year." "No, you don't understand." "Listen, listen, he's not Elvis." " What are you talking about." " No, you listen to me." "Adieu, thank you." "Let's go again." "But he already proposed to Gloria." "To get a green card and open a Soju bar with you." "He finally got legal status as a Taekwondo master after all the long and painful days." "Let's go again." "You, Jinnie Han," "Single, Asian female, outgoing, sexy, attractive, tasty bridegroom" "Single Asian male, tall, nonsmoking, alcohol and drug free as your groom." "I do." "Iron?" "I do, and I will." "Iron, you have anything for the bride?" "And you Jinnie?" "I've got this necklace?" "Okie-dokie!" "Now, you guys may kiss." "Ready!" "Hah!"