"DECAMERON" "Maestro, music." "Who was that man?" "Andreuccio." "I've known him since he was a boy." "I've known his father." "He was a rich man from my village." "He was somebody important!" "Now, he lives near Rome." "His son has come here to buy horses." "Buddy, can I buy one of your horses?" "Good morning!" "Good morning!" "Hi, Sir!" "Me?" "A pretty lady wants to see you" "With pleasure!" "Come along, she's waiting for you." "Let's go." "Follow me." "She's over there." "Andreuccio!" "Welcome!" "It's my pleasure." "Andreuccio, come." "Sit down." "Make yourself at home." "You're amazed that I welcome you  kiss you and weep..." "You'll be more surprised to know we're sibilings!" "Pietro, your father fell in love with a rich widow in Palermo." "She gave herself to him." "I was born from that love." "Our fatherleft us and returned to Rome." "He abandoned us  and left me as if I were worthless." "I grew up with my mother." "She was noble." "She married me off to a Guelph gentleman." "Unfortunately, her secret agreement with King Charles  was discovered by King Giblino Frederick who chased us off Palermo just when I was about to become a great lady..." "The Guelph King came to rescue us." "He gave money to my husband, your brother-in-law." "Thanks God, I've found you, dear brother." "...I'm glad I've found a sister..." "Since I'm all alone." "Every cloud has a silver lining." "I didn't know dad was just like that but when a man is young..." "Actually, I've come here to..." "Anyway, thanks, dear sister." "Let's celebrate!" "Sit down." "You can spend the night here." "Naples isn't safe at night." "Night-night, dear brother." "Good-night, dear sister." "If you need anything, just ask the boy." "Dear brother." "Good-night." "Good-night." "Thank you, dear sister." "Good-night." "Good-night." "Good-night." "Boy, where's the...?" "...the toilet?" "Over there." "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "I fell into the shit!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Open up, dear sister!" "Who's that?" "Andreuccio, the Sicilian lady's brother." "You're drunk." "Go to bed." "I've never heard of any Andreuccio!" "Is just like that the way they treat siblings in Sicily?" "At least, toss my clothes and my money." "Good man, you're nuts." "To hell with you!" "Ill-bred lad, distubing ladies so late at night!" "People sleep at this time!" "Get lost or gonna get killed!" "Go home!" "Go away!" "Stop that.You're bothering us." "Why are you annoying my sister?" "Go away!" "Piss off!" "Go!" "That's the worse stench I've ever smelled." "Shit!" "Shit!" "Who are you?" "Andreuccio, I'm an outsider." "I came here to buy horses." "I met a lady who claimed to be my sister." "She invited me to supper." "I fell into her toilet shaft and here I am." "So they robbed you!" "Yep." "I get it!" "Thank the Madonna for losing your money." "What?" "'cos that's how life is." "Thank God for falling into the shit." "Come on!" "Thank!" "Thank you, Lord!" "Thank God again for bringing you here." "Soon, you'll have as much money as there are stars in the sky." "We'll take pity on you." "If you like scams, we have one... that will bring you much more property than what you've lost..." "Are you in?" "Sure, I'm in." "Amen." "The Archbishop of Naples died yesterday." "Minutolo was his name." "His tomb is in there." "He is richly dressed." "He's wearing a ruby worth 500 gold florins." "Be brave, lift the lid!" "Who'll get in?" "Not me!" "Me neither." "You, Andreuccio!" "Not me, I'm afraid!" "If you don't get in..." "I swear by the Madonna I'll beat you to death." "Get in!" "Go on!" "Inside!" "Inside!" "Get in!" "Go on!" "Get in!" "Go on!" "How ugly you are!" "Where's the ring?" "No rings in here." "Where's the ring?" "I wanna see the ring!" "No rings here!" "Are you sure?" "Of course I'm sure!" "No rings!" "Now, screw yourself!" "Have courage." "Have courage." "Have courage." "Wake up!" "Are you made of stone?" "Get to work." "I won't get in." "I'm afraid!" "Are you thieves or not?" "A valuable ruby is inside!" "I'm your sacristan." "Trust me!" "Why to be afraid?" "The dead don't bite!" "I'll get in!" "Once upon a time in southern Lombardy where Tuscan is spoken there was a convent famous for its chastity and piety..." "In it, among the nuns there was a noble young lady of great beauty." "Let me tell it the Neapolitan way." "The following happened in the convent." "A very good-looking nun fell in love with a handsome lad." "She would let him in her cell at night." "But one night, the other nuns found out." "They caught them right in the act!" "They went to Mother Superior." "She was in bed with a priest." "They knocked on her door." "She was so scared that instead of putting on the shawl she opened the door with the priest's boxers on her head!" "She knocked on the young nun's door while the other sisters watched." "The frightened nun came out and said:" "'So you too were having fun!" "'" "'The priest's boxers are on your head!" "'" "After that, all the nuns had a good time!" "Labor should feed us, not kill us." "Do you know the convent on the hill?" "I used to work there." "You can't imagine the trouble they gave me!" "It was, "Set this down, pick that up!"" "They'd take my hoe and say, "Dig there!"" "I dug and dug!" "They were all so pretty that I was beside myself!" "The sacristan said: 'Send another gardener.'" "'Do me a favor, send an old one like you...' 'cos they can't hire a young man in the convent!" "'" "I won't send anybody, young or old!" "No one can stand it in there!" "Where can I find an old man?" "A young man is out of the question." "Because those nuns are possessed by the devil!" "It's bad for a man to be surrounded by women." "I'm the servant of the convent." "What do you want?" "Who are you?" "I don't understand." "What is it?" "Speak up!" "You're dumb." "Are you hungry?" "Hold on, hold on." "Who's he?" "A poor dumb." "He can't talk." "He's asking for work." "He could be our gardener." "He's strong but has no brain." "We'll take him on." "Give him some shoes and an old shirt." "Treat him well, feed him well." "Who is he?" "A poor deaf-mute, he can't hear or speak." "A man in our convent!" "A man in our convent!" "He can't hear, but he can eat!" "He can't talk, but he can chew!" "So he likes the soup we poor nuns make." "Can you keep a secret?" "Something has often occurred to me." "Maybe you like it, too." "I swear it, I won't tell anyone." "Every woman who stops here says that nothing on earth is more pleasant than what a man does with a woman." "That's why I've decided to try with the deaf-mute to see if what they say is true." "With him, there's no risk." "He's a simpleton." "He can't tell anyone." "What do you think?" "Haven't we pledged our virginity to God?" "We make God many promises we can't keep." "What if we get pregnant?" "Why think of trouble before it comes?" "Every ailment has a remedy!" "How are we gonna do that?" "It's 3:00 in the afternoon." "The other nuns are taking a nap." "We'll lead him by the hand to the hut." "I'll try it while you stand guard, and vice-versa." "Great!" "Come, come with us!" "Great!" "Come in." "Come." "Now get in the saddle and ride me!" "Come." "Can't you understand?" "Make love to me." "Come." "Great." "It's heaven, sister!" "What they say is true!" "Go on, now you try." "I never would've guessed!" "Don't tell a soul!" "You and me only, every day!" "What will we do?" "Tell our Mother Superior!" "What an outrage!" "Let's hurry." "Wait, why hurry?" "Let's think it over." "Why let two alone enjoy what we all can share?" "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, amen." "Get in!" "Come on." "Come with me." "Come!" "Come here, obey me!" "Come.Get on top of me." "Are you blind as well?" "You have to make love to me!" "Now show me, come on!" "Don't stop!" "What's wrong, stupid?" "Go on, you haven't finished yet!" "Get back in!" "Come on!" "One cock may satisfy ten hens but ten men can barely satisfy one woman." "I have to satisfy nine!" "Either I leave, or we figure out another way!" "What?" "I thought you were a deaf-mute!" "I came here on purpose for this job." "And what a job!" "I didn't know it was so hard!" "A miracle!" "A miracle!" "What?" "A miracle!" "A miracle!" "A miracle!" "A miracle!" "It's a miracle, sisters!" "It's a miracle, sisters!" "A miracle!" "Don't worry, we'll arrange everything so that you can stay in the convent and satisfy us all without killing yourself!" "Besides, you'll be a saint." "A miracle!" "God has made the gardener talk!" "A miracle!" "A miracle!" "Come here!" "My love!" "Peronella!" "My God!" "It's my husband!" "He'll kill me!" "See how well she locks herself in." "God be praised I have such a virtuous wife!" "Hurry up!" "I'm coming!" "I heard you!" "Come on!" "Hurry up!" "I'm coming!" "Get in the amphora!" "My husband's insane jealousy will kill me!" "Stay in, don't move!" "I'll see why he's back so early." "Has he seen you come in?" "That cuckold!" "And I was almost finished!" "I'm coming!" "Back already?" "I'll kill you!" "If you don't work, how will we eat?" "I'm tired of pawning the four rags I wear!" "I sweat blood, sewing all day." "My nails all came off." "Look!" "Hubby!" "All the neighbors know how much I work." "You come back home when you should be at work." "How miserable I am!" "See what a good wife I have!" "Don't be angry, I believe you." "It's Saint Galeone's day, a holiday." "That's why I'm back." "I've got a buyer for the big jar." "We'll have bread for a month!" "He'll pay five denarii!" "Just think, five denarii!" "That's why I'm angry." "You're a man and you sell it for five." "I'm a woman, I stay at home all day and I sold it for seven to a young man just before you came home." "He's inside it looking it over." "Sorry!" "My wife sold it for seven!" "Let's go conclude the deal." "Let's thank Saint Galeone for sending you home!" "Where are you, good woman?" "I'm coming." "See what a fine jar it is?" "You offered five, but my wife got seven." "Here I am!" "Who are you?" "I spoke to a woman first." "I'm her husband!" "It's well-preserved, but it's dirty inside..." "It's too dirty, not even water takes it off." "That won't stop us from selling it." "My husband will get in and scrape it clean." "Yes, of course." "Get my scraper." "Now laugh, because you've made a good profit!" "The buyer is right." "The jar stinks inside!" "Scrape it clean!" "Let's do things right!" "Higher." "Lower." "You're in the right place now." "It's still dirty there." "Take your time." "We can't pass up this big deal!" "Keep scraping till I'm satisfied!" "Where can a person find a husband like you?" "Where can a person find a husband like you?" "Things aren't going well for you." "You did the best you could." "You committed many forgeries." "You've killed people." "You've seduced women." "You've blasphemed God and all the saints." "You're even a bit queer." "To put it simply, it's time you go away for a while." "Don't you agree?" "Maybe so." "For personal reasons there's a problem I can't handle myself." "I have a large debt to collect in the north." "My debtors..." "are so evil... that perhaps only you... can collect it..." "...by hook or by crook." "Are you willing?" "Of course!" "I'll give you the proper credentials." "You will be the guest..." "...of two brothers from here." "I'll give you the address later." "They'll treat you well..." "...for my sake, not yours." "Don't worry." "No one knows you up north." "Take it easy, master." "Take it easy." "Goodbye, then." "Bring me the dough." "Ciappelletto, don't expect spaghetti." "Here, we eat German food!" "Please!" "Would you like some wine?" "Cheers!" "To those who wish us harm!" "How many people..." "...will soon be miserable here?" "Why?" "With your reputation..." "Those poor debtors!" "Why?" "Do you think they're better than me?" "You leeches?" "Ghouls!" "What is he saying?" "You vermin!" "Filth!" "Loan sharks!" "Have you gone mad?" "Just joking." "We're all from Naples, let's stick together." " For better or for worse." " You're right." "Naples, my home..." "How I miss Naples!" "Hey, buddy." "What'll we do?" "We can't send him away." "We can't send him away." "There would be gossip...after receiving him so well..." "Now that he's dying, we can't send him away." "You're right, people would criticize us." "He's no good, he has never confessed." "He has never taken Communion." "People are right!" "He'll die like a dog." "If he cofessed..." "I don't wanna think about it." "For the sins he's committed... no priest would ever absolve him." "He'll die like a dog." "Come here." "I don't want to cause you any trouble." "I heard what you said." "It could happen as you say." "But I won't let it happen." "I have sinned so much in my life that one more sin before I die won't matter." "Go find me the most pious priest in town." "Bring him here so I can confess my sins." "I'll do the rest, don't worry." "In the name of God, will someone come?" "A man is dying." "Send us your most pious priest." "It was a lovely meal, father wine, ham, all the trimmings." "He was in such good spirits, poor man." "We sang, all three of us." "Bad luck always happens to us." "Poor Ciappelletto, he's sick." "Madonna, have pity!" "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." "Amen." "Have you been guilty of avarice?" "Don't blame me if I'm in the usurer's house." " That son of a bitch!" " To hell with you!" "I had a large inheritance." "I gave it to the poor." "...Of what I earned..." "...I kept only half to live on." "The other half I gave to the poor." "Tell me, ...have you ever sinned with a woman?" "He's gay!" "I'm as pure as the day I was born." "God bless you!" "And the sin of gluttony?" "In thought, while fasting..." "...I had cravings for lettuce!" "Lettuce?" "These are sins of no account." "There are many sins I haven't told yet!" "One day, I spit in the House of God." "My son, that is nothing." "Well, we priests spit every day." "There is one sin I have never confessed." "I'm so ashamed!" "What is it?" "Every time I think of it, I cry." "I'm sure God will never forgive me." "There are no sins God does not forgive when a man repents as sincerely as you." "My sin is too serious." "You're kind to pretend God forgives me" " Confess it, we shall pray together." " I can't!" "Confess!" "I can't, father." "Make the effort!" "In the name of God!" "Promise to pray with me and I'll tell." "When I was a little boy I cursed my mother because of some milk." "My very own mother!" "He's dying and doing all this for us." "He really must be a saint!" "Your sins seem so big to you my beloved one, even if you had helped to nail Him to the Cross you're so deeply sorry that He forgives you." "What did you say, father?" "My lovely mom who carried me for nine months, day and night." "...nine months in her womb!" "In the name of the Father,..." "Son... and Holy Spirit." "Amen." "And sought to spread Christianity all over the world." "He remained faithful in his heart and if you wretches so much as step on a twig you offend God, the Madonna and the Heavenly Host!" "Now you may enter and honor the saint!" "Let's take shelter!" "Stop!" "Hurry, run!" "I'm coming." "Who's to blame for this?" "Gennaro, did you pray for this rain?" "Well, you got it!" "God never lets me down!" "Let me introduce the Master." "The Master doesn't like being called Master." "He's a good painter from the north...,Giotto's best pupil." "He has come to paint Naples." "I'm very much honored." "Got anything to keep off the rain?" "We'd like to be in Naples by nightfall." "You can use these rags." "Thank you." "It's still pouring." "Have a good trip." "Master, do you think that if a stranger saw you in such a state he could imagine that you are one of our best painters?" "This way.This way." "They're from the church that commissioned the work." "And those are nuns of the convent." "Come on in, please!" " In your honor, Riccardo." "Don't make me die of love!" "Don't make me die of love either!" "It's up to you." "Say just one word and save both our lives." "Riccardo, you know how they watch me!" "At long last we can talk here." "If you want to come to my bedroom tonight I won't be ashamed, I'll do as you say." "Caterina, darling." "The only way is... ...you sleep on your terrace." "...the one above the garden." "I'll climb the wall somehow." "If you have the guts to climb up that high I'll find a way to sleep on the terrace." "The heat is awful!" "The heat is awful!" "Mom!" "Mama, last night I couldn't sleep." "What heat?" "It's even cool." "You must know that girls are much warmer than older women!" "True!" "But what can we do?" "If you and Papa agree..." "I'll put a bed on the terrace over the garden." "I'll sleep there." "In the cool open air, I'll listen to the nightingale." "I'll sleep better than in your room." "All right, I'll talk to your father." "Caterina, wake up..." "Caterina, my darling." "Give me my first kiss." "Afterwards." "Lie down." "Riccardo, my love." "Let's do it again." "Let's sleep a little." "Let me go see how our Caterina...slept through the night with her nightingale." "Giacomina, wake up, get up." "Come look at your daughter!" "She caught the nightingale and has it in her hand!" " How can that be?" "What do you mean?" "Come see for yourself." "If she slept with him, he's hers!" "He's a fine boy, good family, plenty of money." "We couldn't make a better match." "Our servants are armed so if he wants to live he has to marry her...and make no trouble." "He'll put his nightingale in no other cage but hers!" "Wake up, you miserable pair!" "Let's fix this problem before I call my guards." "Sir, please forgive me!" "I know I deserve to die." "I did wrong." "You do what is right and honorable for you." "If you can forgive me, don't kill me." "You did not repay my trust in you." "You erred because you are young." "To avoid your death and my shame which only bloodshed could remove I ask you to marry Caterina." "Of course I'll marry her!" "She'll be my wife and you'll be my father and mother-in-law!" "Give me the ring." "In the name of God, I wed thee." "Now rest." "You must be tired." "Will he ever get here?" "Those artists!" "Sorry!" "Excuse me." "Back to work!" "Come on!" "Come on, boys!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Boys!" "Come on!" "Stay a bit longer." "Elisabetta, I have to go, it's daylight." "Lorenzo,stay!" "I wish I could." "Goodbye, Lorenzo, see you tomorrow." "Hey, brothers!" "Get up!" "What's wrong?" "Our sister is sleeping with our Siciliano apprentice." "I saw him come out of her room naked." "I'll kill her!" "God damn it!" "Stop!" "What are you doing?" "Calm down!" "Have you gone mad?" "Will you quiet down?" "Enough!" "Are you sure it's true?" "Absolutely!" "Let's pretend we don't know a thing." "Anything we do today could be compromising." "And all would learn." "Let's wait for our chance." "That way, no one will ever hear of our disgrace." "Enough work for today!" "Let's go for a walk, it's a fine day." "Come along, let's go." "Let's go for a walk!" "Take a piss with us." "It doesn't cost a thing!" "Make room for our boy!" "Did you think we were naïve?" "You were wrong." "We're just like other men." "Don't you see?" "Look how that Lorenzo runs!" "Wait, where are you going?" "Here we come, we'll catch you!" "Wait for us!" "Can't you make it?" "Let's rest a bit." "This is the coolest place on our land." "Let servants and masters be equal today!" "Wash your eyes, refresh yourself!" "Come on, jump!" "Come along!" "Jump, Lorenzo." "What are you doing?" "Run that way." "Run!" "Why?" "Come on, run that way." "What's wrong?" "Sorry if I'm disturbing you." "What do you want?" "Is Lorenzo back yet?" "He's away on business." "If you ask again,..." "You'll get the answer you deserve." "Get in the house and don't come out without our permission." "Go on!" "Don't make us say it again, or else!" "You keep calling me,... and you're sad because I've been gone for so long." "And with your tears, you blame me." "I can never come back again." "It's because the last day you saw me, with your brothers, ...they killed me." "...and buried me out there." "So don't wait for me, and call me no more!" "I haven't been out for a long time." "Give me permission to go for a walk with the maid." "Have fun!" "Go, but come back soon." "Be cheerful." "We like to see you cheerful." "I'd like to take all of you, my love, but I can't." "It's basil from Salerno, the best." "We'll sprinkle him with rose water." "Come on!" "We've got a long way ahead to go yet!" "We've come a long way together." "From market to market, just to earn a bit of bread!" "We must be close to your home the way you described it to me." "At last I can repay your hospitality, Don Gianni." "Thank you, Pietro." "Don't expect as nice a house as yours just room enough for me, Gemmata and the donkey." "But you have a pretty wife." "Thanks." "I do have a pretty wife, but..." "We'll manage!" "My wife and I have it arranged she's going to sleep with Zita, our neighbor." "She'll be glad to take her in." "You and I'll sleep in our little bed." "Pietro, Pietro, my husband!" "What's wrong?" "We're out of luck We're out of luck" "Zita just got married." "They're celebrating right now." "Why did she choose today to get married?" "Where'll we put the priest?" "I can't go to Zita's with her fool husband there." "This is my wife." "Very glad to meet you!" "Christ be praised!" "Don't worry." "I'll be all right." "Whenever I like..." "I use a magic spell." "I turn my mare into a pretty girl." "I sleep with her, ...then I change her back and use the mare for my work." "So no matter what, ...we always stay together." "She's my wife." "All cuckolds!" "Pietro!" "What do you want?" "The priest is a good friend of yours so have him show you the trick," "That magic spell of his." "You'll turn me into a mare." "Then, the mare and the donkey will carry everything." "I'll be an obedient mare." "We'll earn twice as much." "At home, I'll turn into a woman again." "What do you say?" "What do you say?" "Dom Gianni!" "Show us how to make my wife into a mare and back into a woman again." "I beg you in God's name." "See how poor we are." "Do it out of charity." "It'll cost you nothing!" "Do you really believe I can?" "I will show you how...early tomorrow morning." "The hardest part is to pin the tail on." "Remember that no one else in the world would do what I'm doing for you." "I'm only doing it because you insist." "If you want the miracle to happen you must do exactly as I say!" "You, Pietro, watch me closely." "And don't forget what I tell you." "Above all, don't spoil it all." "No matter what you see or hear you mustn't say a single word." "I'll be mute as a fish!" "Pray to God for the tail to hook on right!" "Come on, Gemmata...strip naked." "All naked?" "Yep.Naked as a newborn babe." "Get undressed." "On all fours like a mare." "You hold this lantern." "Let this be a pretty mare's head!" "Let this be a pretty mare's hair!" "Let these be a pretty mare's arms!" "Let this be a pretty mare's flank!" "Let these be a pretty mare's breasts and let this be...a pretty mare's tail!" "I don't want the tail!" "I don't want the tail!" "What have you done?" "I told you not to say a word!" "I don't want the tail!" "By speaking, you spoiled it all!" "Now, it's not possible." "I can't." "It's a terrible thing to die in mortal sin." "If we repent just before we die, we're saved!" "What kind of place do we go to after death?" "What do you think?" "Who knows, Meuccio?" "What'll heaven or hell be like, Tingoccio?" "Again!" "You want to see me dead, is that it?" "Who knows, I may die first." "The Lord decides." "What is it?" "Let's make a promise the one who dies first..." "All right." " Do you swear?" " I swear!" "So do I!" "I'm in mortal sin because of you!" "Me too, because of you..." "Since we're half relative." "When a woman commits a mortal sin with a man that man commits a mortal sin with that woman!" "Holy Virgin forgive us!" "What 's one sin more or less?" "Let's do it again." "You're as pale as a dead man!" "You're crazy!" "...if you keep it up like that...you'll be sorry I tell you, fool that I am." "Don't you even care about your health?" "No, of course not." "I'd like to make love, too and I could any time." "But I don't, because of my salvation." "I want my soul after death be without sin before God." "Yes, my dear." "Very often I told him so." "I said, "Two or three times, it's okay, but no more."" "He was stubborn and wouldn't listen." "Month after month, he did it five, six, seven, eight..." "nine times a day." "He never stopped!" "Poor Tingoccio!" "Look where he is now!" "Meuccio!" "Who is it?" "I promised to tell you what it's like after death." "Welcome back!" "Are you saved?" "Or are you a lost soul?" "If I was lost, how could I be here?" "What I mean is is your soul damned to hell's fire?" "Not yet, but for the terrible sins I've committed my sentence is heavy, I suffer a great deal." "Is punishment the same for all?" "No, some are burning, some are in boiling water." "Others are in ice or in shit." "Can I do anything for you on earth?" "Have masses said, and prayers." "Be charitable, that helps us a lot." "Don't worry, I'll do as you say." "I must go, it's almost dawn." "So long, take care." "Wait!" "May I ask a question?" "For all your love-making, how were you punished?" "What can I say?" "I met someone who knew every one of my sins." "I thought that for all my love-making my punishment would be worse." "I was shaking with fear." "Someone asked why, and I said:" ""I'm guilty of awful sins with a woman."" "That is why I am here now." "They made fun of me, saying:" ""You fool!" "That sin doesn't count here."" "I've got to go now." "Be good." "Dear, dear!" "It's not a sin!" "It's not a sin!" "It's not a sin!" "Go get the wine." "Here's the wine!" "Good, now we'll all get drunk!" "Cheers!" "Your health!" "Cheers!" "The Master's health!" "Long live the Master who created a great work of art in the city." "Cheers!" "Thanks, friends." "Great fortune in your other projects around the city." "This good wine is the spirit of Saint Anthony!" "But I wonder..." "This wine is good for us to be happy!" "Why create a work of art when dreaming about it is so much sweeter?"