"¶ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ¶" "¶ On the other side ¶" "¶ Well, I paid a visit ¶" "¶ While it's possible I missed it ¶" "¶ It seemed different yet exactly the same ¶" "¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶" "¶ Till further notice ¶" "¶ Till further notice ¶" "¶ I'm in between ¶" "¶ I'm in between ¶" "¶ From where I'm standing ¶" "¶ From where I'm standing ¶" "¶ My grass is green. ¶" "¶ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ¶" "¶ On the other side. ¶" "Captioningsponsoredby THE U.S.DEPARTMENTOF EDUCATION andNICKELODEON" "Hey, how about a little respect?" "I just painted that!" "( grunting )" "Hey, Ginger." "Hey, guys." "Hello, Ginger." "Still walking the picket line, Mrs. Foutley?" "Yeah, but I'm not worried." "We've got them right where we want them." "Glad to hear it." "I'm overdue for a medical emergency." "Oops!" "And I'm overdue, period." "Got to run." "MACIE:" "Lady Liberty..." "I always wanted to meet her." "I say it'll be worth a nosebleed climbing to the top." "Isn't it cute, Miranda?" "They think going to New York City is about something other than shopping." ""Cute"?" "Let's call it what they call it in New York, "pathetic."" "( laughing )" "Hey, Ms. Zorksi." "Hey, Ginger." "Now, don't forget, guys, the $50 for the class trip is due in two weeks." "MRS. FOUTLEY:" "And then someone yelled, "Strike!" again." "So, to make a long story short, negotiations completely broke down." "We're back to square one." "But square one was six weeks ago." "So remind me." "If we had any more money in our savings account, we'd be broke." "No, no, we're okay, but I got to start bringing some money in." "Any ideas?" "Remember that crazy vampire cleaning business of your brother's?" "Yeah..." "Well, that's my idea;" "only I'm skipping the vampire part." "But if you clean houses, that'll make you..." "Employed." "Well, cleaning's dangerous, isn't it?" "I mean, you could hurt yourself." "You actually have to lift furniture and clean under it, not around it, like we do here." "Do you have any idea how many heavier-than-furniture patients" "I've lifted and cleaned under?" "Anyway, I've already sent Carl out to hang up fliers." "Fliers?" "But everyone will see them." "Here's hoping!" "Hey, I should tape one up on the car." "A moving flier beats one stuck up on a super market bulletin board-- more eyeballs." "But, Mom, cleaning is so boring." "There's lots of more interesting jobs you could do." "Well, when you think of one where I don't need a new wardrobe or have to pass a typing test, you let me know." "Until then, I clean." "I'm the man of the house, Hoods." "Adhesive." "( spits )" "And I've got certain familial obligations to the momster in her time of need." "Adhesive." "HOODSEY:" "You mean, like, helping her haul in some lettuce?" "Bingo, my friend." "( whimpers )" "( screaming )" "Don't you dare touch my princess, you..." "Oh, Carl, Robert." "Principal Milty!" "We didn't do anything, I swear!" "Whoa!" "Is my precious, little girl all right?" "Look at you, little... ( panting )" "So this vicious mutt is yours?" ""Vicious mutt"?" "Carl, it's The Duchess, remember?" "Please, I know her only as the dog who caused you severe psychological damage." "But I feel..." "I nearly wet my pants!" "Hear that?" "We're talking lawsuit." "Lawsuit?" "And of course, you also broke the leash law..." "What leash law?" "Come on now, you're making that up." "( clears throat )" "Code 423 of the city's municipal charter..." "Which reads as follows, verbatim:" ""All dogs must be confined to a leash..."" "MILTY:" "Stop!" "Glad to see the two of you have been studying something." "Now, what are you after?" "Face it, the pooch could use some training, and for a mere... $20, I offer my services" "Mm-hmm, and just what kind of experience have you had?" "You should have seen Robert Joseph before I got my hands on him." "I was a real mess." "You couldn't take me anywhere." "But now, even a fancy relish fork don't intimidate me none." "MILTY:" "What does my $20 buy me... aside from out of a lawsuit?" "Uh, the basic package, you know, heeling, sitting, et cetera." "Et cetera, hmm?" "All right, but I'm only giving you two weeks." "If she's not up to speed by then, you don't get your 20." "No problemo." "Professional experience tells me she's a quick study." "And the calls keep coming in." "She's been at it for almost a week now." "Well, that's okay, isn't it?" "It means she's good at her work." "( groans )" "There's nothing wrong with cleaning for a living..." "is there?" "Not if you're a house cleaner." "But my mom's a nurse-- or was a nurse-- and now everyone's going to find out because of those stupid fliers." "But it's only temporary." "She's still a nurse;" "she's just on strike." "And people are nicer than you think." "No one's going to care if she's cleaning houses." "You think so?" "Absolutely." "But, as a precaution, we haven't said anything to anyone." "See?" "You guys do know what I'm talking about." "Everyone pretends they don't care, but they really do, and people will pity you." "We wouldn't do that." "I know, but plenty of other people would." "It's only a matter of time before word gets out." "Then there's no need to worry because in just a matter of time, you'll be out of town, strolling the boulevards of New York." "Avenues, mon amie." "Boulevards are in Paris." "Yeah, we'll see about that." "( ringing )" "Ginger, could I talk to you for a minute?" "Catch up with you later, guys." "I've been following the news, and the nurses's strike has been going on for a while now." "Everything okay at home?" "GINGER:" "My mom likes to think of it as a no-pay vacation." "The $50 for the New York trip is pretty steep." "GINGER:" "Oh, oh, we have the money." "We don't have the money." "But, Mom... $50 is a lot for us right now, Ginge." "The cleaning money is barely covering the basics." "Sorry, but we can't afford that trip." "But if I don't go, everyone will think that I'm..." "I thought calls were coming in left and right." "They are, but I'm a one-woman operation." "There's only so many houses I could clean in a day." "( moans )" "Unless..." "Well, if you help me clean houses after school," "I could clean more of them." "Me... be a cleaning lady?" "I could send some extra cash your way." "You could earn the money for the trip." "It's the only way I can see getting you there." "Uh... okay, but... do those vampire costumes come with masks?" "MRS. FOUTLEY:" "Ginger, wait up!" "Can't-- fast wheels!" "( panting )" "Jeesh, what's the rush?" "It's like you robbed the place or something." "Okay, since you unloaded," "I'll bring the cart back." "Why?" "Just leave it." "I want to get my quarter back." "Hurry!" "( groans )" "( gasps )" "MIRANDA:" "We looked for clothes for you yesterday as well." "Do you remember?" "We didn't find anything that really looked great." "Yes, we did, as a matter of fact..." "What are you doing back there?" "Just floor it!" "All right, all right." "Hey, what happened to my sign?" "Probably under the supplies." "I'll look for it when we get home." "Let's just get out of here." "No big deal." "I was going to take it down anyway." "I'm thinking of giving the business a name:" ""Lois's Spit  Polish," something like that." "Anyway, I'll need new fliers." "But, Mom, you can't name the business." "That'll only make it permanent." "And it's not, right?" "Ginger, I don't know how long this strike is going to last." "And you got to come up with a name people remember." "( groans )" "( dog panting )" "Come on, Duchess, it's called "playing dead."" "That's like Dog Training 101." ""The Duchess," Carl, and this is Dog Training 101." ""Duchess" is bad enough." "Why add a lame-o "The" in front of it?" "Well, how would you like it if someone called you "Arl" instead of "Carl"?" "You're hurting her feelings." "( whimpers )" "You know, all you've been doing is criticizing." "Duh, because you're doing everything wrong." "And I suppose you could do it better?" "Better than you." "Well, then be my guest." "No, that's okay." "I don't mind being a spectator and, um... spectating." "Once you get the hang of cleaning, it's not so bad." "Oh, yeah, right." "I'm kind of glad you're coming along." "It's been lonely." "I'm so used to people at the hospital." "There's always someone to talk to." "When you clean, you mostly talk to yourself, and that can't be good." "It looks familiar." "GINGER:" "What do you think it's supposed to be?" "I'm not sure." "Think it can survive a blast of Dust-Away?" "They said clean everything." "Well, if any paint comes off, it'll come out of my half." "Mom, doesn't cleaning houses embarrass you?" "Why should it?" "Because you're not a trained house cleaner." "You're a trained nurse, and this isn't nursing." "Look, Ginge, I'm not going to say" "I don't miss my job because I do." "But I got to be honest-- cleaning houses doesn't bother me." "So you haven't told anyone at school about me?" "Only Dodie and Macie." "Do they know you're helping now?" "They're my best friends." "Well, the strike can't last forever." "I'm ever the optimist, Ginge." "Know what that means?" "You don't think any paint will come off if I spray the sculpture?" "Close enough." "That's it!" "It's Jimmy... an old boyfriend." "Yep, same height, same build." "All that's missing is the mono-brow." "Mono-brow?" "( laughing )" "When did you live in New York City?" "The summer after my sophomore year of nursing school." "I wasn't sure I wanted to go back, it had been so tough." "Oh, I was burnt out." "So anyway, a friend and I sublet an apartment in Greenwich Village." "TheGreenwich Village?" "Like, with Beatniks and poets?" "More like the Greenwich Village of investment bankers and Korean delis." "That is so cool." "By day, I worked, but by night, I danced up a storm." "I was kind of a legend, if only for the summer." "I even climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty... in Lucite platforms, no less." "( laughs )" "Look what I found in the pool house." "They're a little damp, but..." "How about a game?" "We got to do something until the floor dries." "What were we thinking, mopping to the middle?" "Classic beginner's mistake." "Won't happen again." "Hearts or Crazy Eights?" "Dealer's choice." "Gin Rummy it is." "( school bell ringing )" "( kids chattering )" "And then she told me about her very first kiss." "Your mom divulged an intimate detail like that?" "My mom won't even let me touch her Waterpik." "Sorry, guys, got to go." "Ginger, you've got to take a day off sometime." "Can't-- want to meet my mom." "Did she say, "Got to" or "Want to"?" "Did she say, "Got to" or "Want to"?" ""Want to."" "On the count of three, okay?" "Make it the count of four-- it's heavy." "One, two, three..." "Four." "( grunting )" "( panting )" "Okay, maybe next time on the count of five." "( laughs )" "How about "L and G Clean to a T"?" "No, too corny." "I'll come up with something better." "Uh, wait a minute, Ginge." "I don't want you thinking this is permanent." "I'm worried I'm violating a child labor law." "Maybe you need a milk and graham cracker break every two hours." "Chill, Lois." "You're starting to sound like my mother." "( both laughing )" "( stops bike )" "( drops bike )" "( gasps )" "What is..." "So Ginger's mother is cleaning houses." "I hope she does windows." "( cackles evilly )" "( whimpering )" "( continues cackling )" "( children crying )" "earned the money." "Why are you still cleaning houses?" "This is going to sound really weird, but it's been fun hanging out with my mom." "I don't even mind the cleaning thing so much anymore." "DODIE:" "Ginger, do you realize what this means?" "You've achieved "friendship" status with your mother." "You're, like, 20 years ahead of schedule." "Hey, maybe you're right." "( maliciously ):" "Hi, Ginger." "Wow!" "That sounded creepier than usual." "Hi, Miranda." "What's up?" "I'm so glad you asked." "The Griplings' maid is on vacation, and they're desperate for a cleaning service." "And even though there are plenty of fliers around advertising them, could you recommend anyone, since the Griplings are so particular?" "Not me." "Likewise." "How about you, Ginger?" "( bell ringing )" "Sorry, got to go." "I have class." "Ginger, what was that all about?" "I'll tell you what it was about, cowboy." "Miranda knows." "( groans )" "I'm a little confused here." "You were okay with your mom cleaning houses." "I am" " I mean..." "I was." "Oh, no, I'm back at square one." "How did that happen?" "Easy." "You're worried Courtney's going to call your mom to clean their house." "And everyone knows impending humiliation by one's peers is the fastest way back to square one." "But, Ginger, your mom's a peer now, too." "Macie's right." "She won't take the job if you ask her not to." "Come on, girl, you can do it." "Yes, you can, you pretty girl." "Ready?" "Sit up." "Hoods, this good-cop method of yours is squash." "Either that, or the mutt's short a million brain cells." "Carl, The Duchess is very sensitive, and she's reading your negative vibe, big time." "Okay, girl." "Now sit up." "Carl, I think she did it!" "Come on, The Duchess, sit up." "( barks )" "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!" "Which I hope to be someday." "That pooch did it." "With considerable help from the trainer, of course." "( barks )" "Well, she did do most of the work." "Didn't you?" "Yes, you did, you precious little..." "Hoods, please." "Try not to go Milty on me." "But she's so cute." "GINGER:" "And then Miranda got this evil look on her face, which means..." "The Griplings already called for a house cleaning." "Well, I say we don't go." "Look, I understand if you're too embarrassed, but the money's too good for me to pass up." "But, Mom, I don't want you to go." "Miranda and Courtney just want to make you feel bad." "Ginger, they can't make me feel bad about it because I don't feel bad about it." "Now wish me luck." "I hear they got 20-foot ceilings and crown moldings." "( barks )" "Well, boys, I guess I owe you a thanks." "A thanks is nice, but the $20 would be nicer." "All right, of course." "( screams )" "That's an antique." "You call this training?" "The basic package doesn't cover inappropriate chewing." "Right, you should have ordered the basic-plus package." "That's it!" "The deal's off!" "Hey, hey, we had a verbal agreement, which is considered legally binding in this state." "You're making that up." "We'd never do that-- honest!" "Nice attitude, Hoods." "Remember that when we're in front of the judge." "Right." "You can't scare me." "I don't know." "We can look pretty pathetic when we want to." "( muttering ):" "Oh, 20 bucks... 20 bucks!" "Thanks, Milt." "Don't forgot to mention us to your friends." "Out!" "( chuckling )" "See you, The Duchess." "Hey, you said it right that time." "COURTNEY:" "Miranda, the Foutleys have fallen on hard times, so don't make Mrs. Foutley feel any more downtrodden." "( doorbell rings )" "Mrs. Foutley, you poor woman." "Good to see you again, Courtney." "You, too, Miranda." "And has everything been just terrible for you?" "No more than usual." "Things usually are pretty good, so I guess things ain't half bad." "Mrs. Foutley is failing to notice my sympathy to her plight." "Lay it on a little thicker." "Good idea." "( doorbell rings )" "Oh, darn." "Ginger, what brings you here?" "Not that we mind." "I'm part of the cleaning crew." "You mean, you..." "Well, if it isn't my partner in crime." "Face it, Lois, this job's too big for one person." "Miranda, it's worse than I thought." "( cackles )" "It's better than I thought." "They're destitute." "Let's go remind them." "LOIS:" "Hey, how about we go to New York sometime?" "Like you, me and Carl?" "I was thinking more like the two of us." "I don't think the Big Apple's ready for the Big Carl." "It'll be like a girls-only weekend in New York." "Sounds good to me." "How come Mama and I never have this kind of fun?" "We've had hard times, too." "What hard times?" "Well, like when she lost the platinum card in Jamaica." "Please, they replaced it in three hours." "The longest three hours of my life, thank you very much." "Someone needs to remind them they're just house cleaners who can't afford to go to New York." "Let me." "I've had experience with help." "Yoo-hoo." "You missed a spot." "Courtney, that's your reflection." "It is?" "Can we put a shine on a floor, or what?" "( gasps ):" "I didn't think it was possible." "Neither did I." "I look even better reflected in a floor than in a mirror." "( groans )" "GINGER:" "And then we climbed all the way to the top of the Statue of Liberty." "Macie only fainted once." "Only once?" "I'm impressed." "Oh, sounds like the trip was a lot of fun." "So clean any interesting houses while I was away?" "I found the Corellis' pet boa constrictor when I was going over their TV room." "Carl claims he heard my screams all the way over here, but you know how your brother likes to exaggerate." "( both laughing )" "Captioningsponsoredby THE U.S.DEPARTMENTOF EDUCATION andNICKELODEON" "Captioned by MediaAccessGroupatWGBH  access.wgbh.org" "CARL:" "Adhesive." "( Hoodsey spits )"