"About life." "How does it feel growing old?" "It's a horrible feeling." "I would relive my misery." "What is your advice to young people with their lives in front of them?" "They must be incredibly cautious with their life choices." "Existence has to agree with you." "a disease with no cure." "I grew up with a grandmother who was bitter and depressed." "I don't remember seeing her happy her happy someday." "Throughout my childhood I despised her for it." "I understand my grandmother." "She was depressed because of the wrong choices she made when she was young." "and I feel how life is slipping away." "None of my plans or dreams have come true." "Everyday life now just the remains of a life that never happened." "Is it normal to feel this way?" "clinging to the past?" "it's Shahriyar." "How are you?" "I'm well." "I'm going up to Östersund to make a new movie." "A new documentary." "Do you want to be in it?" "I'd like to interview you." "it's nothing dangerous." "I just want to do a little interview with you." "Very briefly." "That's great!" "I'll call you when it's getting closer." "Hey!" "Hey." "Are you Lukas?" "No." "Who are you?" "Måns." "Hey." "friend." "To daycare or school?" "School first." "we're coming with." "you look okay anyway." "Do I need makeup?" "Not at all?" "I look good." "gang!" "the county's 6th graders met here in the sports hall." "Do you remember that?" "No..." "I stood somewhere here." "but that's how I remember it." "You were... here." "I think you had a dark sweater." "I stood there with my friends." "Then I saw you." "You were shorter than your friends." "And then the lights of my world went out." "Then i saw you leave ..." "Wow!" "This is probably the most beautiful person I have ever met. "" "You played with the ball and I was hoping you would end up in my class." "How am I going to get close to this girl?" "because then you're doing something. "" "If I hadn't seen this I wouldn't have become a director." "It's strange that such a small thing can change one's entire life." "I'm trying to find the meaning of my life." "What is the meaning of your life?" "the purpose of my life is probably ..." "I want to see the kids grow- and affect their future." "" "Gry and Måns?" "I do not know." "I've been thinking:" ""What if I hadn't had Luke." "Or Måns and Dawn." It feels so strange once you have them." "I feel remorse all the time." "Isn't it like that for you?" "absolutely." "I would have liked that." "Then I would have made ​​other choices." "I had a hard time with abuse and stuff." "I was living alone with Lukas." "There were many trials." "where I gladly would have taken another way ..." "A lot like that." "but waited a year" "What would have happened then?" "But then Lukas wouldn't be here." "I'm torn." "I would choose career success ahead of family life." "make an "E.T." ..." "I say yes." "But you'll never have children." I choose "E.T." instead of children." "We're different on that point." "I want to have kids." "buddy!" "It's been a while!" "Good To see you!" "Give me some love." "You've grown." "You know it's been 15 years since we graduated?" "Not that it's been that long." "How did you think of a 34-year-old 15 years ago?" "As old." "As at the end of life." "Basically." "It's not like that now." "Not at all." "So when do you become a grown-up?" "I tick all the grown-up boxes:" "a small dog and a large station wagon where I can fit anything." "But I still think it's fun to play with the kids." "I might like it more than they do." "Here's what I think..." "You recognize him?" "Yeah." "That's Woody Allen." "When I see that picture I think of you." "Do you?" "Did I talk a lot about him?" "You did." "I'm gonna show you another picture." "Czech javelin thrower." "I dreamt of becoming Woody." "You dreamt of becoming Jan." "It didn't quite turn out that way." "No.." "Isn't that a bit sad?" "It's hard to explain what it is to have two children and see new lives." "My dreams are more about them now." "You couldn't have been Jan and had a family?" "He does." "But maybe not in my situation." "like Christian Olsson and Carolina Klüft don't you wish you were them?" "It was a goal to go far in the World Cup or the Olympics." "But I can't have regrets now." "The thing that annoys me is... what if the present just becomes... what never was." "What if it doesn't get better than this." "Yeah..." "Is the camera rolling?" "This is an all time low." "what would this documentary about?" "–About life." "–Life?" "The everyday life of people." "my life is shit." "Sometimes I get such anxiety that I just want to scream." "–Why is God messing around and not taking my life?" "You want to die?" "and this world." "We start with Shahriyar Latifzadeh." "Thank you." "It is an honor to inaugurate the film festival." "I received the Bo Widerberg scholarship." "It was a great day. "Now there's no telling how far I can go." "But the start of my adult life didn't turn out as I had imagined." "My dreams did not come true." "My first feature film didn't do that well." "Then I became obsessed with a favorite movie of mine - "Back to the Future." "How would it have been if you had a time machine?" "What if you could change the mistakes you've made." "I'm making a documentary about the big questions of my life and interviewing retired people whom in my eyes are time machines." "I'm hoping that with their experience they can advise me on how I should live in order to not become as unhappy as my grandmother." "Hey." "Sorry I'm late." "We're gonna have a salad." "Good." "tomatoes." "Cherry tomatoes with the food." "My goal is to make you a vegetarian." "Hold on to your hat now!" "You enjoy being retired." "It is wonderful." "It's great." "Many are worried about becoming retirees." "I wasn't." "Many believe life is gonna end." "Actually life begins then." "That's how you feel?" "Yeah." "was it:" " "Is this how I want to live?" I have no memory of us using those words." "Is this how we want to live?" Nooo." "you!" "Hey." "Should we go inside?" "I brought some coffee." "We got to start in the kitchen." "You can walk around and have a look where you want to be." "Let's make some coffee." "Why couldn't I be handsome like George Clooney?" "That requires that look." "But am I not beautiful?" "You look pleasant." "Do I have a radio face?" "You definitely do." "Definitely." "I'll pour the tea." "Take the opportunity to film my beautiful great grandchildren." "a great-grandmother." "you say." "It's not noticeable." "I was very shy in adolescence." "I walked like this to not show I had breasts." "Mom had bought me a bra." "I tried it on in front of the mirror." "The door was torn open - there was father." "He slapped me." "Why?" "I was just as dumbfounded myself." "that moment when you first felt grown up?" "It was when I came home and said to Dad:" "I'm coming home now." "I didn't care what he thought." "Look what I brought with me!" "Wow!" "Come in." "My life's first schnapps." "I think that should be enough." "Let's see here." "my!" "Can I smell?" "it smells like booze." "You don't do alcohol?" "I've gotten worse." "Then you'll have to invite me when it's been sitting a few days." "I wonder if we would have been friends if we were both 20 now." "What would we have done if we were that old in the 1960s?" "yes." "I would have liked that." "Do you remember the day when you first felt that you were a grown-up?" "It was probably when we got the flat." "When I got home from the bakery I looked into the living room." "We only had two rooms and a kitchen." "Just like here." "I thought." "Then I felt grown-up." "My own apartment with my own key." "here we go." "Be ready." "Sure." "Now!" "I always live for tomorrow." "It's been like that since I was a teenager." "When I get a little older I'll do this and that." "Now I'm 34 years old and I still live for tomorrow." "And then I regret that I didn't do it when I was 20 years old." "It can't go on like this." "Who can help me?" "who have lived and are living with experience." "Maybe they can tell me how to live and help me along the way." "Many people say..." "When towards the end of life one says..." "Was this life?" It just flew me by." "And..." "I don't know if ..." "I don't think that way." "afraid of it." "The meaning of life must be to die content." "That you work to make sure you die reasonably happy with your life." "right?" "Why?" "Lars" and we hug." "so good to see you." "It's not the same!" "It was so fast!" "Like that - and then out!" "Here's what I can do." "Good to see you." "So next time:" "Nice to see you." "That's enough." "It's just as fun." "my friend." "Thank you." "I've had issues over it." "How come?" "It never stays ..." "It's ugly." "Nooo!" "You are handsome and you know it." "I don't want to pick up where i left off." "last time I worked like an animal." "That I don't miss." "But it is lovely to see." "with Nelson Mandela." "Tell me!" "We flew with the same plane to London." "The first trip after his release." "And you were with?" "I happened to be there." "It must have been a big moment.... for Nelson Mandela." "I'm joking." "For me it was huge." "You always laugh when I call." "I laugh all the time." "it's the film director Shahriyar." Then you laugh." "That's the way I sound all the time." "I get a bit insecure and think:" "Does Bibi not take me seriously?" Am I funny?" "I wouldn't say you're funny." "I wouldn't say you're boring." "maybe." "You had that from the very beginning!" "I said:" ""Start with myself and build it."" "I had immense issues with how my life would turn out." "The way I feel now." "Yeah." "I wanted all kinds of things." "I had low self-esteem." "I think" "she would calm down and not worry so much." "Have you made dreams come true that makes your young self be pleased with today's you?" "but I have to say it." "I wanted to become a great actress." "I haven't achieved that." "If I would have entered on that path and achieved success" " I would have opted out of a lot of things in my life." "I would have chosen not to have kids." "I would have prioritized my career." "Maybe I would have done that." "I wouldn't have wanted to do that." "I wouldn't have wanted to opt out on what gave me my children." "And now grandchildren." "That would have been sad." "a need for self-realization" "and thinking about your dreams and desires?" "then?" "I don't know." "No." "So why think like that?" "It was the present that mattered." "went home and took care of the children?" "Yes." "Is this it?" That's difficult to say." "Is this it?" What the hell more is there supposed to be?" "I was happy." "This was my life." "It was fun." "I slept well." "I never thought about self- realization." "I did my best." "That's the way it is." "why didn't you do this when you were 20?" "!" "I feel like that every day." "Do you?" "I don't." "With this ..." "No." "a person's everyday life." "One writer wanted to write about my life." "He said it could become a profitable book." "you didn't have to do the work." "but I felt no urge." "you didn't think that you could change your life when you were my age?" "I was young and didn't know better." "I had no one to guide me." "Do you think I will be happy in the future?" "No.." "Never ever?" "wasn't I?" "The doctors don't believe that I'm sick or that I'm old." "When I need to have surgery on my knee they say:" ""We're not doing surgery on those legs." "and they won't believe me." "Your charm has become your misfortune." "Here I'm 38." "38..." "Was that a good year?" "Like any other year I suppose." "Tell me it was amazing." "It was probably good." "But then comes ..." "Everything can't always be great." "That doesn't sound that passionate." "I'm not very passionate." "but I'm not..." "I can be passionate in sudden... sometimes." "so that something happens." "I was 16 and told mom about it." "she said." "You were mistaken." "When you leave life's it's over." "Absolutely." "What then was the point of your life?" "It was that I've had a family." "Have." "I have three children and ten grandchildren." "So I have..." "And then I've helped a lot of people through my profession." "but also as a volunteer." "Everyone gets to have a family." "Not everyone." "But many do." "Is there a point if everyone gets to have it?" "I wanted to have children and a family." "I wanted it that way." "You never felt like this isn't fun?" "think!" "Don't lie!" "I'm not lying." "Weren't there any snowy days..." "At times you got a bit tired with some things." "There was days or moments" "When I thought it was horrible." "But that never lasted long." "he only thing ..." "If I were to relive my life" "I wouldn't be a teacher." "How do you live with the regret over wanting to be something different?" "Is it that obvious?" "Not at all." "Nooo." "To say at 75 that one regrets choices in life..." "You're not supposed to!" "Why?" "Somewhere you have to come to realize that the choices you made you made based on the circumstances at the time." "I've become like all the other grown-ups who just go to work and start talking about having children." "someone's been promoted at work..." "This is not how life was supposed to be." "It was supposed to be something else." "Something more meaningful than this." "but nothing can turn into a party unless you turn it into a party." "You can't wait for the invitation." "You have to make life enjoyable for yourself." "Jag hade gått under om jag inte hade kunnat det." "I would have perished if I hadn't known that." "how come you guys are so happy?" "Maybe because we know we can't achieve more?" "No new career." "I can't become a famous actor or a multimillionaire." "You could have become a bitter old man." "Why aren't you bitter?" "It must be something..." "There are so many who are bitter." "Then you're a cautionary example." "The only one who suffers from it is the one who is bitter." "but I'm older than many others." "A smelly dishrag is old." "You throw that away." "An old piece of furniture is preserved." "just older than many." "I get surprised when I look myself in the mirror in the wrong light." "I think." "Then there's this as well... there's so many wrinkles." "I'm fooling myself." "The film might not be about me growing-up." "It is about me reaching a point where I come to understand that this is the beginning of the end." "graduation- finding love... kids." "It's so much fun having children." "It is enormously stimulating." "You learn to go to school." "Your children love you." "You go to school so you can keep their love." "The meaning of life is to have children." Almost anyone can have children." "Those who can't have biological children can adopt." "isn't it?" "Why can't it be the meaning of life - to achieve something grand?" "Is it because not everyone can get there we say that children are the meaning?" "You have no idea how it feels to have children." "The joy when they hug you..." "It's not the same feeling as when I hug my wife." "Of course I was in love." "A wonderful time." "The real pain inside here." "Just that you have so many possibilities..." "And then you're meant to choose." "And then you choose." "What if I'm not choosing right!" "I should have chosen the other!" "You're silly if you think that a life consists of that one should be happy." "Is that not why we are on earth?" "Then you wouldn't learn anything." "You would walk around and be selfish and want to keep things." "ou have to develop and educate yourself!" "I think:" "You're lying!" Did you really tell the truth?" "You're really that happy?" "You're throwing around a bunch of clichés." "But ..." "You should be content." "you're really content." "then I think so." "Otherwise you can always remain silent." ""How are you?" - "So so." "the people I'm interviewing ..." "I said to my partner:" "I think they're lying." "I actually said that." "Grandmother told the truth." "Are you like her?" "I hated what she stood for." "I'll never be like her!" I thought she was hurting herself." "I grow more and more like her." "–How many pills do you eat a day?" "How many I eat?" "one at 8 pm and two at. 5 pm." "That's six." "Do you take some at night too?" "Five to six pills before I go to bed." "That's about eleven tablets a day." "Yeah." "What kind of pills?" "For my psyche and sleep." "to be able to unwind and sleep." "I don't remember anything." "so we'd love to hear." "Hear about my life?" "It was complicated." "It reached a dead end." "You're just talking about the bad times." "Haven't you seen anything good in 84 years?" "No." "It's here." "this one is the hardest." "I have no questions prepared." "I'm really self-aware..." "Do you feel that you are somewhere in life where things are final?" "Mm." "I do." "It's final that I don't have that many months to live." "That is a very clear "finality" for me." "I haven't gotten a revelation:" "cancer taught me the meaning of life." "Cancer made ​​me understand that my life was what I wanted." "What then becomes meaningful to you?" "Much of what I did before I became ill." "I want to go to work." "SAs long as possible to pick up at preschool and be a normal mom." "Interesting that you say that." "I have wondered:" "What kind of a life is it to fetch children from kindergarten and work?" "We're destined for something bigger." "but the holiday." "What would you do with all the weeks?" "Just wait?" "Is the meaning of life to have children?" "I don't think so." "Not for everyone." "Not with my life either." "But there is something that has made me happy." "The first feeling I had when I found out I would die was huge guilt because I had had a child and would leave it without her mother." "Have you prepared yourself for the day you no longer exist?" "Have you made plans?" "Mm." "I bought birthday gifts for my daughter until she reaches 20." "I bought gifts for her children - if she has any." "For her to open each year?" "She might not want them." "It's a bit like a time machine." "It is." "I would like to say to people in the future and the present that they should dare to love more and stress less." "Dare to open up more." "have to give." "DIAL TONE" "dad." "It's Shahriyar." "–Hello." "–What are you doing?" "–Drinking wine." "–Drinking wine?" "–Yes." "I know." "I would like to interview you." "Is that ok?" "I say like the Swedes:" "you're always welcome." "I think grandmother has influenced me much more than you." "Why do you think that is?" "In Persian you say: "Who taught you manners?" "Someone who does not have them!" "So: what rude people do you should not follow." "That's how I thought when it came to my mother." "I did not take after her." "Are you happy with your life?" "100%." "in jail ... educated children." "I have a wife who is healthy." "What more can a man ask of life?" "If I gave you a time machine–" "And you got to talk to your 30-year-old self:" "What would you say to him?" "Life passes so quickly that I would have told him to take it easy." "Do not worry so much about politics–" "–and don't think too much about work." "Live at a normal pace." "Next year you will be 70 years old." "What was the purpose of your life?" "The meaning of life is to always have a goal you want to achieve by the end of the day." "If you don't succeed in achieving the goal then continue with it the next day." "but I didn't." "you get depressed." "but not become depressed if you don't succeed." "Life is not meaningless because you have not made your dreams come true." "have children." "Why children?" "Why is that so important?" "It gives you motivation in life." "you have to get up early to leave them at kindergarten." "–Otherwise you can sleep the day away." "they need food and clothes." "Children give you motivation." "And then I can become Woody Allen?" "Yeah." "Yes." "I like that argument." "give me some love." "Love..." "Give me a kiss." "I love you." "we got it!" "God..." "This is where you have tartar." "Does it hurt?" "I've barely begun." "then you can get disappointed." "experience such and such thing and so on." "you can end up very disappointed." "I know that life isn't a given." "So you have to be happy when you have it." "Shall we begin?" "Let's." "What the hell!" "Aj!" "Det trodde jag inte." "OUCH!" "I didn't think so." "damn." "No!" "I can't live a life like that." "Is death something you think about?" "You can't help but think about it." "Of course you think of death." "Is that a sad thought?" "I definitely don't want to die." "No!" "That would be really sad." "Yeah." "there isn't much to do about it." "One should be happy to have experienced so much." "what do you think is the meaning of life?" "that has to be." "You just have to fight on and enjoy." "But I understand those who are around their 30th." "You have to know something about your future." "And have ambitions and visions!" "Then it usually sorts itself out." "what would it be?" "because you're the big joke." "Subtitling:" "Alex Rodallec"