"Ugh!" "Talk about an aggro wipe!" "And Vork called me Codex right in front of Wade, so he's probably, like," ""What's with this girl and her alias?" "Is she a CIA agent or something?"" "Okay, he wouldn't think that." "Would he?" "That would be cool, actually." "The good thing is that Clara and Tink seemed to be right... guys will overlook anything if there is cleavage involved." "That's not that flattering." "Anyway, if I could just stop Guildies from showing up places," "I might have a chance with this guy." "I know, big "if."" "Hi, Vork!" "Did I... give you my address?" "Ever?" "I got it from a print-out that Zaboo decoupaged to the bottom of his bedroom squab cage along with many unflattering photos of you and various hair samples." "I don't know if you're aware of this, but he has a slight fixation." "Thanks for the heads up." "Can I help you?" "Why are you dressed like a harlot?" "Why are you here?" "Codex, I'm going to need to invoke the state's Lemon Law." "Zaboo and I are turning out to be incompatible as roommates." "No!" "No, Vork, no." "This is a great, uh, revenue stream for you." "Don't just throw it all away." "Let's talk this through logically." "There is no logic with him!" "He is irrational!" "Like a lobotomized troll!" "It is scientifically proven that Thunder Cleave is directly affected by the Death Reach feat, but he still denies that there's a one-on-one correlation!" "And he uses my hair products without asking me!" " What hair products?" " I get flyaways." "Cover yourself, woman." "Okay, I'm gonna go change." "Are you hungry?" "There's stuff in the kitchen." "Anything you want." "Anything?" "So the real turning point was today, when I created a new character," "Zaboo 2.0." "I didn't equip any weapons, just went around punching stuff." "Manly'd." "Well, anyway, I figured we can put the gas bill in my name and..." "Zaboo, Zaboo, who are you talking to?" "You, my sweet!" "I've finished leveling, and I'm coming home!" " Home?" "Here?" " Yup!" "I'm ready!" "Poor Vork is gonna be hella disappointed." "We've been having this awesome back and forth about the Reave Blade ability." "Good timez." "With a "z"." "But, Zaboo, you just left a few days ago, so..." "Yeah, I know." "I'm sorry it's taken me so long." "But I've been working on myself 24/2, and believe you me," "I'm totally worthy of you now." "I've lost three-fourths of a pound." "I've studied all the kama sutras." "I've even invented some of my own positions, including one that I like to call the QWERTY Sanchez." "Cyber Sutra'd." "Yeah, so, let me tell you about the QWERTY Sanchez..." "I can't believe I'm doing this." "Hi, Dr. Hammond." "It's, uh, Cod..." "Cyd, Cyd Sherman." "Remember?" "You dumped me last week?" "Hi, Cyd." "Let'sjust call it separated." "Whatever." "I need help." "Over the phone." "Immediately." "Okay, well, ifyoujust make an appointment..." "I'm going to hang myself with an ethernet cord!" "Cyd!" "That's not a mature response to any situation." "Tell me about it!" "Uh... anyway, I am obsessed with someone." "They're not interested in me, but for some reason it does not matter." "I am completely oblivious to their feelings." "So, you're aware that you're oblivious?" "No." "This is just a brief, lucid moment." "Well, in relationships, the way that a person loves others is learnedprimarily through their parents." "So it sounds like..." "Bingo!" "Call waiting." "One sec." "Zaboo!" "Zaboo!" "I think that you were smothered as a kid, and now, hence, you are smothering me." "It's obsessive and occasionally scary, and it's a really selfish kind of love." " It's your mom's fault." " Wow, Codex." "That's deep." "Freud'd." "Back!" "Next question and you think that these control issues are causing..." "Nice frozen-yogurt maker." "Vork, I meant food!" "Not appliances!" "You said "anything"!" "Anyway... um, I think that your feelings about this roommate, Zaboo, are reflective of destructive control issues." "And that I..." "I mean, you, need to consider this an opportunity to, uh... something about comfort zone." "Interesting theory." "Are you sure I can't have the fro-yo maker?" "Yes." "Meaning, no, you can't have it." "I'll be right back." "It is selfish love, but it's still love." "Damn it!" "I'm taking so much damage!" " Are you playing?" " Yeah." "These ice elementals keep owning me." "I'm so vulnerable!" "Oh, well, I can log in, and I'll buff you against elements..." "No." "No." "You have to freeze to death." "Tough love." " One sec." " Back!" "So, let's wrap this up." "I have been living alone since my grandpa died, and I'm fussy, kind of like an old lady with a penis, and..." "A penis?" "Uh, well..." "Cyd, I'm going to take a wildly insightful guess here." "This isn't aboutyou, is it?" "No." "I should say that this is a reflection ofyour pathological need to solve otherpeople's problems while avoiding your own, but forget it." "I'll be billing your insurance." "Twice." "Codex, I appreciate the efforts you're taking to make the situation work." "I've discovered some very surprising things about myself today, namely, that I'd really like a yogurt maker." "But I still feel..." " What the?" " What?" "Official game bulletin." ""Inform you... maintenance tonight..." "4 hour... server shut down...""