"Previously on Warehouse 13..." "Four Regents suffered artifact-related deaths." "And now a fifth Regent." "How can my mom be a Regent and not have told me?" "Just let me start at the beginning." "Some other time, Jane-- a time when the Warehouse isn't under attack and someone isn't trying to kill you." " Artie said you don't torture." " I'm not Artie." "[Gasps]" "I can't let you do this." "I drew my gun on Mrs. Frederic, and she fired me." "What?" "[Erratic breathing, moaning coming from woods]" " You hear that?" " No." "[Groaning, rasping in woods]" "Sounds like somebody's in trouble." "You want trouble, mister?" "Hold that thought, I beg of you." "[Rasping, moaning continue]" "[Man rasping, shivering]" "Hey, you okay?" "[Quietly] No." "Don't." "Hello?" "Aah!" "Oh, my God!" "Paul?" "Paul!" "Paul..." "Aah!" "♪ Warehouse 13 3x10 ♪ Insatiable Original Air Date on September 19, 2011" "== sync, corrected by elderman ==" "So you just let my mom walk out" "I don't get to make her stay." "There is a hierarchy here." "There's your mother, the Regent, Mrs. Frederic, there's me, and then there's you." "[Dog snivels]" "Oh, sorry." "How rude." "There's me, there's Trailer, and then there's you." "Okay, so how do we protect her from Walter Sykes if she's not here?" "Her security has been tripled." "She's safe." "The Remati Shackle is safe." "The Warehouse is safe." "The world is safe." "The Universe is safe." "And by the way, no one asked us to help, so I don't think that we" "Regent security has been stretched pretty thin" "Myka, please!" "Please, not you, too." "Now, I have a situation here that I would like to" "Artie, Sykes has been planning his revenge for decades!" "He wants the Collodi Bracelet." "We need to go out" "The Regents are handling it." "Let it go." "Walter Sykes needs to be brought to justice." "Ah, see, you're not looking for justice." "You're looking for vengeance." "If some psycho tried to off your mother, wouldn't you want payback?" "You never met my mother." "Our job is to do our job." "[Computer beeps]" "And, oh, look, we have a ping." "So go pack." "And you are gonna go to Ithaca, New York." "Bye." "Artie, he does have a point." "Right, Ithaca." "Bye." "Leena-- look at this." "Someone's actually doing as requested." "How is the security-system upgrade going?" "Down to one last diagnostic." "Once I run this, we're good to go." "Good." "Sykes is looking for weaknesses, best not to have any." "So is Claudia still upset about Steve?" "I was hoping that a few days away from this place would clear her mind." "Artie, what happened in Atlanta?" "Something bad..." "Between Steve and Mrs. Frederic." "A notice was issued to all government agencies that Jinks was persona non grata." "They burned his credit rating and his passport." " Oh, my God." " Don't tell Claudia." "I won't." " ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪" "♪ hello, world, I'm your wild girl ♪" "♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪" "♪ cherry bomb, cherry bomb ♪" "♪ ♪" "Okay, thanks." "That was awesome." "[Applause]" "Johnny Cash, Astrid Gilberto, and The Runaways in the same set." "That's my motto." "Go eclectic or go home." "Yeah, I like to mix it up on open-mic night." "Claudia, right?" "I'm Dwayne Maddox." "Lead singer/guitarist for Dead Rent-- great band, terrible name." " So you've seen us." ""South Dakota's most promising musical export,"" "sayeth the blogs." "That was before the rhythm guitarist decided to split." "He wanted us to be the next Black Eyed Peas." "I wanted to be Black Flag." "Just..." "Wow." "That's a weird coincidence." "I know exactly what it's like to lose a partner." "I was wondering if you'd like to fill in." "Okay." "Um..." "Wow." "So when do you-- when do you think you want to jam?" "I mean, my schedule is just a little unpredictable, so..." "Well, we rehearse in my garage." "It's the red house behind the body shop." " Say noon tomorrow?" " Yeah, that could work." "All right, see you then." "[Phone line ringing]" "Hey, what's up?" "This is Steve." "Leave a message." "[Beep]" "Damn it, Jinksy, call me back." "I want to share." "So you and Paul were both bitten, but neither of you saw what did it?" "It was really dark, and it was really fast." "Then something got its attention." "I dragged us both into the car and took off." "May I?" "Sorry." "Thank you." "Myka, do you know what those are?" "Some kind of animal maybe." "Human bite marks-- they're human." "Vampire or werewolf?" "I don't know, but based on the location, I would say-- wait a minute, do you really think that" "No, I don't think!" "We deal with artifacts, not fairy tales." "A lot of those artifacts come from fairy tales, okay?" "Cinderella's knife, right?" "Turns people to glass, remember?" "I'm just saying it's possible." "Well, I'll believe it when I see it." "Let's check out lovers lane." "Okay, but I only go to third base." "Okay, so Amy said Paul heard a moaning coming from that direction." "I'm gonna go that way." "You stay here." "What?" "Alone?" "Okay." "This isn't a horror movie, Pete." "[Animal howling]" "Uh, yeah, see, see?" "Now it's a horror movie." "[Whispering] Myka." "Myka..." "What are you doing?" "I was worried about you in here all alone." "[Man grunting, chewing]" "Wait, wait, wait." "Do you hear that?" "Yeah." "[Grunting, chewing continues]" "What in the hell?" "[Whispering] Why is that man eating a deer?" "Probably because..." "That man is a zombie." "[Man shouting] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Oh, afraid of guns, huh?" "Hold up, zombies aren't afraid of guns." "That's because he's not a zombie." "He's probably just been affected by something that we know is real-- an artifact." "Maybe if we just-- we talk to him..." "No, no, no, no, no." "No, you don't talk to the living dead." "You either run away really fast, or you shoot 'em in the head." "Pop, pop!" "Sir, I'm Agent Bering." "This is Agent Lattimer." "We're with the Secret Service." "Okay, we just want to help you." "Do you-- do you understand me?" "[Shivering, muttering]" "Aah!" "Myka!" "Cover me." "Easy." "God, he's really cold." "Yeah, further proof that he's not alive." "Careful." "Careful." "Myka!" " It only takes one bite." " Will you be quiet?" "Aha." "All right, we have..." "Kevin Monroe, 36 years old." "Lives here in town at 127 Briarwood Lane." "All right, well, does he have anything artifact-y on him?" "Well, not that I can see." "Let's get him to a hospital." "Artie, will you please tell Pete that the undead do not exist?" "Don't be ridiculous." " Of course they exist." " Thank you." "What?" " What?" " Told you." "Only in the technical sense." "Ha ha." "I told you." "There are several artifacts known to simulate living death." "Show me the victim." "Hmm, necrotic dermal discoloration, and around his mouth, hyper-stimulation of the salivary glands." "Off the bat, I'd say he's got two symptoms that are consistent" "Peas..." "Elk..." "Bison!" "[Groans, coughs]" "Pete, look in his eyes." "That's not anger." "That's--that's fear." "It kind of sounded like he said," ""Peas, Elk, Bison."" "Yeah, well, at least there's some vegetables in there." "[Shivering]" "Artie, listen, the doctor said that he had frostbite on his toes and ears, but Ithaca's been in the middle of a heat wave." "Yeah, check out his house." "I am on the next flight out." "And whatever you do, you keep him restrained." "Hold down the fort." "[Groans, whimpers]" "[Vocalizing scales]" "[Farnsworth buzzing]" "I thought I had two days off." "Leena's busy." "I'm getting on a plane." "I need you to do some research." "Everything we've got on living-death artifacts." "Yeah, Artie, you specifically forbade me" "I changed my mind." "I'm mercurial." "Deal with it." "Yeah, not exactly the adjective I'd choose right now." "[Sighs] Come on, Steve, pick up the" "What, Claudia?" "Oh, my God." "Jinksy!" "I can't-- wow." "I've, um" "I've just been dying to talk to you." "Yeah, I could tell from the last 800 messages." "Okay, it wasn't that many." "What do you want?" "Um, okay, Cliffsnotes version" "I met this really hot musician at open-mic yesterday." "Pretty sure he wants me." "Pretty sure I want him." "I mean, I know I've only known this guy less than 24 hours, but how can you tell?" "What if he's my one?" "Claudia, I can't do this." "What?" "Talk to your B.F.F.E.?" "What the hell is a B.F.F.E.?" "Best friend forever and ever." "Look, we're not B.F.F.E.s." "We were co-workers, and now we're not, which makes us..." "Nothing." "Nothing?" "Steve, why would you" "I can't be any clearer, Claudia." "Stop calling me." "Lose my number." "Yeah, Steve, no problem." "I'll just forget everything about our awesome friendship if you'll just tell me, why are you being such a tool?" "[Circus music plays]" "♪ ♪" "Okay..." "I'll bite." "Okay, Sallah." "Wasn't really the question." "She raised her eyebrow at this and walked on." "[Knock on door]" "[Door creaks]" "Yep." "Oh--oh, God, wow." "Hello from Miami Beach." "90 degrees." "He was obviously freezing." "Why?" "You scope out the living room." "I'm gonna see if I can stand the heat in the kitchen." "Pete, you hear that?" "[Electricity crackling]" "Secret Service!" "Come on out with your hands up!" " Locked." " Psst." "Hey." "Hey, it's okay." "It's okay." "I'm Myka." "Everything's gonna be okay." " Mykes." " Yeah?" "Peas, Elk, Bison." ""Please help my son."" " Hey, Artie." " Hey, listen, do we have" "Pete, what are you doing with this" " Artie..." " Who" " Come here." " Who is this?" "Well, this is Kevin Monroe's son." "We found him hiding in the closet." " Hiding?" " Mm." "Was he there when his father was affected?" "Did he-- did he see the artifact?" "We have no idea." "The kid hasn't said a word." "The only reason we know his name is from a tag on his backpack." "Artie, this is Danny." "Danny, Artie." "Hey." "How are you...?" "I'm sure it's not the eyebrows." "What do you mean?" "[Monitor beeping]" "Hey, buddy." "Hey, you know, your dad's just-- he's just taking a nap." "I got an idea." "How about you and me go get a candy bar?" "So how is his dad doing?" "Well, he's sedated for now." "Amy and Paul, the couple from the woods--any symptoms?" "Nothing yet, but listen to this." "I think whatever affected Kevin Monroe is spreading." "Now, a few minutes ago, campus police at SUNY-Ithaca got this call from the Psi Phi Zeta frat house." "Listen to this." "Send someone over here now." "He's crazy." "He ate a squirrel, and he keeps trying to bite me." "[Man snarling]" "Get the hell away from me!" "[Loud crash]" "Okay, now, it's a frat house, but still, the artifact could be there." "But how did Kevin Monroe come into contact with it?" " Was he an alumnus or" " I'm still working on that." "But right now we just have to contain this thing." " Yeah." " Hey." "Okay, we have to go." "I'll explain on the way." "Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Artie, um..." " What about Danny?" " Who?" " The kid." " Oh, what about him?" "Artie, we--we just found him cowering in a closet by him-- he can't be left alone." "You got to stay with him." " Yeah." " Me?" "No." "I don't-- I have no idea." "He probably saw something, right?" "Talk to him." "Get him to open up." "Yeah, show him some of that papa Nielsen charm." " Don't touch me!" " Okay." "Um, all right, uh, you go check out Animal House, and I'll..." "[Groans] Cajole." " Good luck." " Yeah." " Good game." " Uhh!" "See what you can find out from the frat boys." "I'll make sure the campus gendarmes give us some space." "Agent Bering." "Somebody fill me in." "Fenton Wallis, house president." "Everyone just calls me Wally." " So what happened here?" " Moose freaked." "A moose?" "One of our newbies-- came back from a burrito run whining about being cold." "Then he starts eating all the food, then all of a sudden, he just goes psycho, starts trying to bite people." "Did you see him actually bite anyone?" "Lady, after he took a swipe at me, all I saw was the basement door slam shut." "I think he's still down there tearing through the pantry." " Hey." " Hey." "So we got ten minutes before the boys in blue show up." "Let's go find us an artifact." "Okay." "30 guys under one roof, and no one takes the time to change a lightbulb." "Are you asking me how many frat boys it takes to change a lightbulb?" " Because I would say..." " Please don't." "Well..." "Ooh, tacos." "Oh, man, I hope that truck's still out there." "Don't start with me, okay?" "My blood sugar is crashing." "[Rat squeaking] Oh, jeez!" "Ooh!" "Dude, I hate rats." "[Man growling, groaning]" "[Groans, breathing heavily]" "[Rat squeaking]" "Cold..." "So hungry." "Help me." "Help me." "Moose, listen, it's gonna be okay." "Aah!" "Myka!" "Aah!" "[Gasps]" " Are you okay?" "Huh?" " Yeah." "Yeah." " Did he get you?" " No, no, I'm fine." "Let's just, uh--just get him to the hospital." "Is it safe to come out?" "Aaah!" "Aah" " Are you okay?" " It bit me, Mykes." "It bit me." " How long ago was he bitten?" " A few minutes ago." "How long before the effects kick in?" "No idea." "Amy and Paul were bitten hours ago, and they're both still asymptomatic." "So it could take anywhere from three minutes to... to never happening at all." "It depends on the artifact." "Do you have any leads?" "Uh, no." "I'm still working on it." "Work faster!" "And, Myka, Myka..." "If he gets a strange look..." "Watch yourself." "[Farnsworth zaps off]" "Was Moose from Ithaca?" "Was he related to a Kevin Monroe?" "Wisconsin." "His last name's Mulder." "Was Kevin Monroe ever pledged to this house, say, around 15 years ago?" "We only got chartered last year." "Myka." "Listen, uh..." "When it happens, I want you to be the one who puts me down." "Okay." "I know it's not gonna be-- wait." "Wait." "What?" "Two shots to the head, right?" "Pop, pop." " Mykes..." " Everything's gonna be fine." "Okay?" "I'll drop you off at the hospital." "Wait, wait." "No, no, no, no, no." "I'm not just gonna sit around waiting for it to happen." "Okay?" "I mean, I'm gonna make sure we find this thing." "[Door opens]" "[Shivering] Make it stop." "Make it stop." "[Shivering and moaning]" "It's too bright." "Oh, my eyes!" "Oh, make it stop." "Make it stop." "Wait." "They're sensitive to light." "Remember Kevin Monroe, in the woods?" "He flinched from our flashlights." "[Stomach growls loudly]" " Oh, sorry." "I'm just" "I'm freakin' starving." "A human flesh kind of starving, that--that kind of starving or...?" "No, like Pete Lattimer starving." "It's just I can't do this on an empty stomach." " I'm gonna go get a taco." " Really?" "Now?" "Hola, amigo." "Uh, una burrito grande especial..." "Por favor, rapido." "Gracias." "Comprende?" "Yeah, I get it, gringo." "I speak English, bro." "Okay, well, I'm just, you know..." " Pete." " Yeah." "At Kevin Monroe's house, it was hot, right?" " It was, like, 90 degrees." " Yeah." "And they said Moose was freezing." "Right, so I'm thinking that the artifact works in stages." "Well, that's how zombies work, Mykes." "You know, there's the blood bite, sickness, death, rotting." "And then all you want to do is, like..." "[Imitating flesh ripping]" "[Exaggerated accent] Gracias, senor." "Seis dolares." "Pay the man, Mykes." "Okay." "Orale, homes." "I'm coming back for seconds." "This is delicious." "Okay, that's, like, 28 bucks you owe me now." "Can I get a special?" "[Monitor beeping]" "So, Danny..." "Any interest in cryptography?" "Piano nocturnes?" "'Cause they're--no." "Cold War espionage." "Yeah." "Ecch." "Um, right." "I'm gonna go check on your dad." "You stay put." "[Shivering]" "[Monitor alarm beeping]" "What--what's happening?" "He's going through I.V. bags almost as fast as I can hang 'em." "If that wasn't weird enough, there's no clear sign of infection, viral or bacterial." "He is ice cold." "Last reading, body temp was 89 and dropping." "If we don't reverse this, he's gonna go into organ failure." "Excuse me." "[Monitor beeping]" "[Banging, rumbling]" "Oh, come on." "Again?" "Oh!" "Ow..." "No!" "Oh..." "[Farnsworth buzzing]" "Of course." "Yo." "Claudia, did you get the information that I asked you" "Yes!" "What do you thi-- of course!" "Yes!" "Claudia, is everything all right?" "Just a little temporary, possibly terminal technical difficulties-- all good now." "Claudia..." "What is wrong?" "Nothing." "Quit worrying, Nana." "So, listen, on the shelf, we have the Torch of Thanatos, Marie Laveau's crucifix, and the Bodhidharma's slippers." "But unfortunately, that's all I can tell you until this search speeds up." "So any new deets?" "Causes extreme metabolic shifts and temperature drops, while simultaneously triggering intense carnivorous craving." "Cravings." "Well, I'll cross-ref when I can to see what pops, but the network's been uber-sluggish lately." "It's weird, actually." "I don't know." "Well, call me when you get something, and then you can resume your RR." "Thank you." "[Farnsworth zaps off]" "[Alarm ringtone chimes]" "Yes, Leena?" "Yes, I know someone named Dwayne." "He's where now?" "Dwayne." "Hey." "You're..." "You're where I live." "Yeah, I, uh, asked around." "Look, if you're not into joining the band..." "I mean, that would suck, but--but I get it." "And I was just still hoping that we could" "Not into-- no, wait." "What?" "Well, when you blew off rehearsal, I just assumed" "No, no." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." "That was not rejection." "That was me trying to juggle, and I'm all thumbs." "So, um, okay, I just have one more little thing" "I have to do at work, okay?" "And then I'm all yours." " I mean to rehearse." " Yeah." "Oh, my God." "Let me just go get my guitar, and then I'll go straight to-- whoa!" "Hey-- [wall switch hissing]" " Dwayne!" "I've never had a hot rocker girl literally throw herself at me before." "[Electricity crackling]" "Look out!" "Oh, my God." "Are you guys all right?" "Uh, yeah, yeah." "Fine." "Great, actually." "Oh, my God." "I cannot believe this." " Claudia, what's wrong?" " I got to get out of here." "Claudia, wait." "I just" "You need to stay as far away from me as possible right now--trust me." " Why?" "Because I'm marked for death." "[Door slams]" "76 and still dropping." "If we don't get his body temperature up, this man is gonna be dead in an hour." "I'm gonna talk to the doctor about putting him on bypass." "The doctor's on his way back to the" "Good." "It stopped dropping." "Maybe he's stabilizing." "It's not gonna last." "Where did those glasses come from?" "Alfred Butz, inventor of the thermostat." "Huh?" "Uh...great Uncle Alfie's glasses." "Same prescription, oddly." "I'm gonna go check on the two kids who were attacked in the woods." "Oh, well, those two were patched up and discharged hours ago." "They were bitten..." "and they're fine." "That means something else caused-- [loud crash]" "Hey, stop him!" "[Indistinct shouting]" "Help me out here." "Kid ate through the restraints." "Aah!" "[Shouting]" "[Elevator bell dings]" "Why do they crank the A.C. in here?" "Really?" "'Cause I'm sweating my" " Aah!" " That was Moose." "Stop him!" "Everybody out!" "Get out, now!" "Let's go!" "Get out of there!" "Get out!" "Come on!" "Take the shot, Mykes." "Mykes, take the shot!" "Where'd you go?" "I-I don't know." "So..." "Hungry." "Oh, man, don't make me do this." "Don't come any closer." "Just stop right there." "Don't-- don't come any closer." "I will shoot you!" "Is he...?" "Hypothermia, starvation." "So what, I'm gonna freeze to death?" " You feeling cold?" " No, but I've been bitten." "There's nothing wrong with you." "Whatever this artifact is, its effects are not spread by biting." "[Sighs] Thank God." "You hear that, Mykes?" "I'm so cold." "I don't want to be one of the undead." "And I don't want you... putting me down." "Look, we are gonna find this thing, Myka." "You're gonna be okay." "I promise." "Okay." "She must have come in contact with the artifact." "Yeah, but where-- the woods, Kevin's place, the frat house?" "What do we know?" "Stage one--sever chills." "Stage two-- intense hunger." "Stage three-- hypothermia, malnutrition." "Stage four--death." "I mean, come on, Artie, you have to have some idea what we're dealing with here." "Everyone that's been impacted by this artifact is either too far gone to talk or dead." "Not everyone." "[Monitor beeping]" "[Door opens]" "Hey." "You know, Danny, my dad was once really sick, too, and I spent the whole time at the hospital just wishing that there was something I could do to help." "Bet you know how that feels." "Yeah." "But you can help, and not just your dad." "There are other people in trouble, too." "Do you want to give her the magic glasses?" "No, Danny, I'll be fine." "Thank you, though." "Okay, how can I help?" "Did your dad come in contact with any strange things lately?" "Any weird--weird-- nothing." "Do you remember when he first started feeling cold?" " Last night after dinner." " What'd he eat for dinner?" "He wanted to try the new burger place, but the line was too long, so we just stopped at a food truck on the way home." "Tacos?" "Tacos, Danny?" "Tacos from here, Danny?" "Yeah, Manny's." "He's nice." "Artie, something on that truck is altering the food." "Kevin and Moose both ate there." "Myka, what did you eat?" "Off the truck?" "Who am I, Pete?" "Okay, fine." "But still, that truck must be the nexus, and the artifact's got to be there." " We got to find the truck." " I'm on it." "I just started following Manny's on Twitter today." "See, sometimes being obsessed with food and social networking is a good thing." " Pete." " Okay." "His last Tweet was from a construction site nearby." " Let's go." "Wait, wait, wait." "Myka." "Myka..." "Don't you think you should stay here?" "I'm not gonna stay here waiting to turn, okay?" "I-I want to be there when we find it." "I'm gonna drive." "It'll--it'll keep me focused." "Any excuse to drive." "All right, just go." "So..." "Was your dad okay?" "Oh, he was fine." "No, no, he..." "[Chuckles]" "Everything turned out just fine." "He's still a pain in the butt." "All right, mister all-seeing, all-knowing," "I'm sorry I doubted you." "You obviously know what's what." "Otherwise, you wouldn't be here, right?" "So I got to know, am I really gonna die tonight?" "[Circus music plays]" "Okay." "Obviously I didn't enunciate." "Am I going to die tonight?" "[Circus music plays]" "Okay." "It's on." "It's bath time." "Ooh, slippery, isn't it?" "Yeah, get you some." "Oh-ho-ho!" "In your face, Grim Reaper!" "Adieu." "What a day." "Oh, come on." "Whoa." "Water's not supposed to do that." "Somebody?" "Leena?" "Somebody?" "Anybody!" "Help me!" "Help!" "Thank God he's still here." "Yep." "[British accent] I'm gonna crank this baby up to 11..." "[Chuckles]" "Just in case we-  [shivering] I'm so cold." " Myka..." "And I'm hungry." "I need to eat." "Aah!" "Oh, it's happening to you." "Aah!" "Myka, snap out of it." "Myka!" "You all ate Mexican?" "It's Pete." "Myka!" "Okay." "All right." "Okay." "Aah!" "Myka, don't hate me for this, but..." "Keys-- no keys." "[Computer whirring]" "What the...?" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "[Gasping]" "Okay, breathe." "Breathe slowly, Claudia." "Breathe." "It's okay." "No, it's not, okay?" "Everything is not okay." "Some psycho has the Warehouse in his sights." "My best friend wants nothing to do with me." "And now the Sultan of Suckwad over there is trying to kill me." "Oh, yeah, it's all rainbows and unicorns." "And on top of that, why am I dry?" "It's an artifact, Claudia." "Watch." "Sallah, what will I have for dinner?" "[Circus music plays]" ""That blemish is probably cancer."" "What the hell kind of fortune is that?" "Sallah's not a fortune-teller." "He's more of a hypnotist." "He instills an overwhelming feeling of dread into anyone who activates him." "Okay, so how do I beat him, then?" "You have to actively ignore him." "Like I do with Artie?" "[Chuckles] Yep." "So I'm not gonna die?" "Not on Sallah's timetable anyway." "[Scoffs] [Farnsworth buzzing]" "Yeah?" "Claudia, I need you to hack into the Ithaca power grid!" "Do it now!" "I'm about to become dinner." "O-okay, doing it." "Nope." "Okay, I'm in." "Now what?" "All right, they're sensitive to light." "Can you--can you make it bright out here?" "Say no more." "Here comes the sun." "[Growling]" "[Pounding on window] Manny, you open this door." "How do I know you're not one of them?" "Damn, the circuits blew." "[Zombies snarling]" "Manny!" "Open the door, or they're gonna eat me alive!" "What the hell is going on?" "What's wrong with those people?" "Something in this truck turned them into cannibals." "So they spiked my tires because they want to eat me?" "Where did you get this?" "Uh, I was hiking in Utah." "I saw it buried in the ground." "I thought it'd be a nice souvenir." "Myka, put money in here." "Did those workers tip you?" "Yeah, I should've put it out sooner." "This is it." "This is the artifact." "Damn it, I don't have any static bags!" "What the hell's a static bag?" "Oh, man, I'm not supposed to do this!" "Cover your eyes!" "[Grunts]" "Myka?" "Please tell me I didn't eat anyone." "Okay." "[Farnsworth buzzing]" "I don't know what you two did, but nice work." "In the winter of 1846, a caravan of men, women, and children stranded in the Sierra Nevada Mountains were forced to resort to the most extreme measures just to survive." "Somehow, the horrific ordeals of the Donner party imbued an ordinary jar with the power to make others experience what they were suffering." "And putting money in the jar triggered it." " But why?" " Well, interesting sidebar-- the jar was one of several the survivors used to bury their money." "Even in the grim shadow of death..." "They were putting a little something away for a rainy day." "[Chuckles]" "Where's Pete?" "Oh, he's waiting for us at the Univille Diner." "It's all-you-can-eat pancakes." "Breakfast is on him." "Fine, but he's leaving his own damn tip." "[Chuckles]" "♪ Before ♪" "♪ before I begin to go ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ give me one more ♪" "♪ kiss just so I know ♪" "♪ so I don't unfold ♪" "♪ now ♪" "♪ ♪" "I'll be right back." "Thank you." "[Applause]" "So, for our opening number," "I'm thinking either Hole or The Clash." "I thought you were Marked For Death." "Yeah, no more than anyone else, apparently." "[Chuckles]" "Listen, Dwayne, this is the warning label on Claudia Donovan, okay?" ""Stuff happens to me..." "A lot-- sometimes weird stuff, sometimes bad stuff, but it puts things in perspective." "I never know what fresh hell tomorrow's gonna bring." "So, if you still want me to join your band, um..." "Then let's rock." "I'm gonna finish this set, all right?" " Just don't move." " Right here." "[Giggles]" "[Indistinct chatter]" "Mm, hey." "One more, hold the water." "[Cell phone vibrates]" "[Chuckles]" "Your card's been declined." "Son of a..." "[Chuckles]" "They cut off my credit line, too." "Whatever." "Look, I'm gonna need you to settle your tab." "Put it on mine." "And, uh, give me one of the same." "Oh, hey..." "Thanks, but I don't need" "Come on." "I've been there, trust me." "We could all use a friend sometimes, right?" "All right, well..." " Thanks." " Anytime..." "Steve." "Have we met before?" "Almost." "A couple weeks back, down in Atlanta." "You're with Stukowski." "She's not longer with us, unfortunately." "Bit of a wild card." " Sally liked you." " Yeah, well, I'm..." "Agent Steve Jinks-- former A.T.F., former Warehouse 13, now burned by Mrs. Frederic and the Regents because you dared to have scruples." "No career, no prospects, no future..." "I know what they did." "Now who are you?" "What do you want?" "Marcus Diamond, and, uh, we want you, Steve." " You people are murderers." " No, no, no." "We defend ourselves." "Besides, you saw what your former friends are capable of." " Come work with me." " And why would I work for you?" "Besides not having to rely on the kindness of strangers to cover you bar tabs..." "You're good." "You should be working with the kind of people who can appreciate a man of your talents." "But..." "Obviously, you are not interested." "Well, good luck, Steve." "Marcus." "== sync, corrected by elderman =="