"How can you be fast as lightning and as slow as molasses all at the same time?" "Sometimes, Mom, I'm even a mystery to myself." "Wait a minute, didn't I fix your alarm clock recently?" "I crushed it this morning hitting the snooze alarm." " Guess I'm not much of a morning person." " Must have gotten that from your mother." "She could be late to her own wedding." " In fact, she was late to her own wedding." " Not all of us were trained by roosters." "I was up late studying for an exam, Greek tragedy." "Speaking of Greek tragedy, I've gotta get your mother to work." " Want a ride?" " No, I'd just slow you guys down." "Thank you, baby." "Hera freaks out because Zeus has been two-timing her with a mere mortal, no less, so she sends a bunch of snakes to kill Hercules who is the illegitimate babe in the cradle." "It's just family dysfunction of Dionysian proportions." "It sounds like these people ought to be on Ricki Lake." "While I don't condone her behavior, Zeus did break his vows." "Doesn't give her the right to go Fatal Attraction." "Hey, Clark, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." "Hello, Clark." " Do we know each other?" " No." "Well, yes." "Clark, I'm your mother." "It's obviously a mistake, she's not your mother." "That's what I told her." "She said I probably just need time to get used to the idea." "She gave me her phone number, told me to call if I wanted to talk again." "I don't want you to have anything to do with this woman." "She's gonna be hard to avoid." "She said she just bought a house in Smallville." "She also said the agency that handled the adoption was Metropolis United Charities." "That's the same place Chloe told me about." "I thought the only adoption they handled was mine." "So did I." " Dad, tell me what happened back then." " That's not important right now." "Your mother's right." "We need to get this woman to back off." "We don't want her making people curious about where you came from." "Mrs. Kent I know what you're thinking:" ""This woman gave her baby up." "What right does she have to show up after so many years?"" "Well, the thought did occur to me." "Look, Mrs. Dunlevy, I'm sure you mean well." "And I know you've gone through a lot of trouble finding Clark but he's not your child." "Oh, I've done the research." "My Lucas was the only baby turned over to Metropolis United Charities and Clark was the only child that they ever placed." "We are Clark's legal parents, we raised him." "Believe me, I'm not trying to take Clark away from you." "I just want a chance to get to know him." "Giving up Lucas was the worst thing I've ever done." "I didn't do it because I wanted to, I did it because I had to." "I sincerely hope that you find Lucas someday." "But I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you not to bother my family or Clark ever again." "No." "Sure, Clark, you can use my computer." "Knock yourself out." "You've been getting e-mails from Rachel Dunlevy." "You've been reading my e-mails?" "You promised me you'd stop digging into my adoption." "All I did was post a few notices on adoption websites to see if I could get some hits." "This Dunlevy woman responded." "So you said, "Why don't you check out my buddy Clark, he may be your son. "" "You have to believe me, I didn't tell her anything about you." "So it's just a coincidence she shows up in Smallville claiming to be my mom?" "She's here?" "Clark, what makes you so sure that she's not the real thing?" "I'm not giving you an exclusive on my life." " You're not curious she might be your mom?" " Why are you obsessed about my mother?" " Do I ask you questions about yours?" " I guess not." "If you want to find somebody's mother, find your own." "I know where she is, Clark." "The difference is she's not interested in me." "Since you may never speak to me again, there's something you might want to know." "Metropolis United Charities was founded by Lionel Luthor." "I admit, I'm even more intrigued now than when I got your note." "But I'm still not sure what this has to do with me." "Well, I understand that you and Clark are good friends." "Mr. Kent has forbidden me to speak to him." "I thought you might be willing to talk to Clark, ask him to give me a chance." "Ms. Dunlevy, Jonathan Kent doesn't exactly see me as the ideal role model for his son." "I wouldn't want to encourage Clark to defy his father." "Even if it meant giving him a chance to know his real mother?" "I'm sorry, but it's just not appropriate for me to get involved." "I wasn't going to bring this up unless I had to but I once worked for your mother." " You knew my mother?" "And your father." "He and I became very close." "He got me pregnant and made me give the child up for adoption." "You're claiming that Clark...?" "That Clark and I...?" "He's your brother, Lex." "Chloe." "Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere." "What's wrong?" "Clark and I just had a massive blowout." "About what?" "Secrets, privacy, my pathological inability to curb my curiosity." " How are you?" " Hey, we can talk about it later." "No, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dump on you." " Lf you can't dump on your friends..." " Exactly." "So, what did you want to talk about?" " His name's Henry Small." " As in the Smallville Smalls?" "Our very own first family." "Well, who's the hottie hanging all over him?" "My mom." " Oh, I'm sorry, Lana." " It's okay, you didn't know." "I think he may be my biological father." "You okay?" "I think so." "I want to find out everything there is to know about him." "I thought maybe you could help." " But if you don't feel comfortable, it's..." " Actually, I'm flattered." "It's nice that someone trusts me enough with their big family secret." "Then you'll do it?" "I can tell you where he went to college how many outstanding parking tickets he has I can even pull up his dental records and tell you if he flosses regularly." "But if you want to know who he is I would suggest using the high-tech research device called the doorbell." " Clark?" " Grab a sack, son." "I just found out that Lionel Luthor founded Metropolis United Charities." "Why was he involved in my adoption?" " Would somebody tell me what's going on?" " Jonathan, he needs to know." "All right." "It was the day of the meteor shower when I realized that nothing was gonna be normal around here again." "What's happening, Jonathan?" "Martha?" "Teddy!" "Jonathan, look out!" "Help!" "Stop, please!" "I need help!" " Are you all right?" " It's my son." " What about him?" "Is he hurt?" " He..." "I can't..." "Mister, calm down here." "Where is your son?" "He..." "He's..." "Give me a hand." "What happened to him?" "His hair is..." "Can't we go any faster?" "We're doing the best that we can." "What are you carrying back there?" "It's slowing us down." "Hey, how's your son?" "He's in shock, but he'll survive." "You saved him, acting so quickly." "I'm glad I could help out." "I'm sorry." "I don't even know your name." "Jonathan Kent." "Nice to meet you, Mr. Kent." "If there's ever anything I can do for you please, call me." "I mean that, Mr. Kent." "Dad, you were a hero." "I don't know why you thought you had to keep that a secret from me." "Ethan." "Is there something we can do for you?" "I'm sure you know there's a woman in town claiming to be Clark's mother." "Well, she's petitioned Judge Ross to order a DNA test." " But that's crazy." "She's not my mother." " Lf that's true, this test will prove it, son." "I can have somebody come out and take the sample to Metropolis Genetics Lab." "They can run the test in the morning, we can get this thing over with quick." "I'm sure you folks have nothing to be afraid of." "Not to mention, it's an eyesore." "No." "They're dumping there." "Oh, come on." "What do you mean, that's it?" "I don't care what Lowell County Water and Power says they are illegally dumping, and I'm not gonna sit here..." "Hello?" "Hello?" "!" " Mr. Small?" " What?" "I'm sorry." "I'm not taking on any more law students right now." "No, no, I'm not a law student." "Wait, I know you." "You do?" "Yeah, you run the coffee place in town." "Yeah, yeah, the Talon." "I don't think I've seen you there." "And you never will." "I boycott it." "Do you have a thing against coffee?" "No, I've got a thing against Luthors." "Lex Luthor's just a silent partner." "That's what the Vichy said about Nazis." "Look what happened to France." "I didn't catch your name." "Lana Lang." "You knew my mother." "Where did you get this?" "I found it." "Did you love her?" "What do you want me to say?" "It's ancient history, it doesn't matter." "Henry, can you stop saving the world for one minute and give me a hand, please?" "Okay, honey, I'll be right there." " Look, Lana..." " I think you might be my father." " Honey, are you coming?" " Yeah, I'll be in in one second." "Look, Lana, you've made a mistake." " But I..." " I have a family now." "Please, don't bother me again." "There." "Now that didn't hurt a bit, did it?" "I'll let you know." "Dad..." "You had to do it, Clark." "If we'd refused, they'd have dragged us into court." "What happens when they look at his DNA under a microscope?" "If I even have DNA." "That's why we have to make sure nobody gets a chance to analyze that sample." "This is it." "There." "Man, this Mission:" "Impossible stuff is great but other than my scintillating conversational skills I still don't understand why you brought me along." "I need your spit." "You can relax." "We switched the sample, no one saw us." "Clark, I'm sorry to have put you through all this." "It's not your fault, Dad." "I guess it just comes with the territory." "Yeah." "I'm gonna go work on the combine." "Everything's okay." "Why does Dad still seem upset?" "This has been tough on him." "He always said making a deal with the devil was gonna come back to haunt us." " Then why'd he do it?" "Come on, Mom." "Why'd you need Lionel Luthor's help in the first place?" "You have no idea the kind of pressure we were under." "We suddenly had this new little person in our home." "We didn't know what to do with you." "We were completely overwhelmed." "Thank goodness your mother was a pack rat." "Sweetheart, he's not ours to keep." "I just keep feeling there's a reason he's here." "He's exactly what I wished for in the flower shop this morning." "Hey." "Since when did Martha Kent believe in magic wands?" "Since the moment I laid eyes on this little boy." "Get him upstairs." "Hurry, go on." "Just a..." "Just a second." " Evening, Jonathan." " Ethan." "I saw what was left of your truck out on Route 17." "I wanted to stop by and make sure you're all right." "We're just a little banged up, but we're fine." "Look, I'm sure there are folks who need your attention a lot more than we..." " Who's the little fellow?" " He got away from me." "He's strong." " That's..." " Clark." "I thought my family name would make a good first name." "Deputy, I would like you to be the first one in Smallville to meet our son." "Adopted, of course." "We just brought him back from Metropolis this morning." "I didn't know you folks were planning to adopt." "Oh, Ethan, you know us, we like to keep to ourselves." "But it's been in the works for quite a while." "Well, congratulations." "It's nice to see something good happen in the middle of all this tragedy." "He was right." "You were the one good thing that happened that day." "So you just made it up, spur of the moment." "I couldn't say we'd found you in a corn field." "Once the words came out, I knew we'd have to back them up eventually." "So we called Lionel Luthor, cashed in that favor." "He arranged everything." "If everything worked out, why'd you keep it secret?" "Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting anything important." "Not at all, Lex." "Ever wish you had a big brother to help you with your jump shot?" "I think I've managed to become a pretty decent player on my own." "Rachel Dunlevy came to see me." "She says you and I have a few chromosomes in common." "My father's chromosomes, to be exact." "You mean...?" "Personally, I think I got all the looks in the family." "I don't know what happened between her and your father but she's not my mother." " Trust me, I'm as skeptical as you are." "For all I know, this is an elaborate scheme to win a paternity suit against my father." "Did you ask him about it?" "I didn't want to make any accusations until I had more facts." "It's not hard to imagine." "In the annals of extramarital exploits, my father probably has his own chapter." "It doesn't bother you?" "I mean, I know how close you were to your mother." "To the extent that it caused my mother pain sure, it bothers me." "Unfortunately, not every marriage is quite as Rockwellian as Jonathan and Martha Kent's." "Anyway, I told Ms. Dunlevy that in the 21 st century people shouldn't make claims like hers without the DNA to back them up." "So, what do you think, Clark?" "No chance we could be brothers?" "As cool as that would be, Lex, we're not." "Rachel." "When the guard called and told me you were down at the gate I didn't believe him." "We had an agreement." "I just got the results from the DNA test." "I don't know how, but you did something to alter them." "Did what?" "What are you talking about?" "Clark Kent is our son, and you know that!" "You haven't changed, Rachel." "You are still completely irrational." "No, the only irrational thing that I ever did was to let you rip my child from my arms." "You were well-compensated and well taken care of." "You think money made up for seven years in a psychiatric ward?" "You needed help." "No, what I needed was a home and a family." "After you were through with me that wasn't going to happen." "Not with Lucas, not with anybody." "Why didn't you continue your treatment?" "I didn't need any treatment." "You just wanted me out of the way." "Classic denial." "Oh, this isn't over, Lionel." "I'm gonna expose you." "Expose me?" "To whom?" "My wife is dead." "You know that." "Are you still as beautiful, Rachel?" "Oh, you were lovely." "You have to move on." "Forget the past." "If you need help, I'd be happy to call Dr. Friedberg." "I'm sure he'd be more than willing to make room for you at the clinic." "Ms. Dunlevy?" "Is everything all right?" "There." "Wow, that is quite a catch." "Took all my strength to pull that one in." "My dad even had to help me land it." "You're lucky you've got such a great father." "I heard you and Chloe had a big fight." "Don't worry, she didn't give me any details." "I assume that this is shrouded in the usual Kent cloak of secrecy." "Chloe promised not to look into my adoption, and then she did." "Now I've got a woman in town claiming to be my mother." " Is there any chance?" " No, not in a million years." "She just showed up out of the blue?" "She ambushed me at school. "Hi, Clark, I'm your mother. " I mean, who does that?" "Do you remember that guy in the photo with my mom?" "I found out who he was." "His name's Henry Small." "I went to his house." " How'd it go?" " Well he hates the Talon, hates the Luthors, compared me to the Nazis and told me to never come back again." "That good, huh?" " I'm sorry." " It's okay." "I have done pretty well without a father this long I don't know why I thought I needed one now." "I do." "Lana, we're different." "We don't get to see our biological parents every day and see a little piece of who we are or who we may become." "If I had a chance to get to know my birth parents I wouldn't give up just because the first meeting didn't go the way I hoped." "There." " No, no, no." "You're okay." " Where am I?" "You're at my house." "I bought it with the money your father gave me." "I knew I'd need it one day, so I never spent it." "I'm fixing it up so that Clark will feel at home here." "I know how hard it must be." "No, no." "No, you don't." "All those lost years." "Martha Kent getting to bake the birthday cakes." "Martha Kent getting to dry his tears." "So that gives you the right to kidnap me?" "Believe me, I didn't want to do this, but your father gave me no choice." "Look, if my father's lying, Clark really is my brother." "I want to know just as much as you do." "How does holding me prisoner help you?" "Because, Lex, either your father tells the truth or he's going to know the pain of losing his son." "What's wrong?" "Rachel Dunlevy." "She's kidnapped Lex." "Oh, my God." "If I don't call a press conference announcing that Clark's adoption was a sham and that he's my illegitimate son, she's..." "She's gonna kill Lex." "Chloe, I'm so glad I found you." "Okay, there's a sentence I never thought I'd hear again." "We both did and said things that we regret." "I know I did." "Look, you have to believe that I would burn my press pass if I thought it would come between us." "No, you wouldn't." "It's too much of who you are, and right now I need it." "If Rachel Dunlevy did buy a house, she'll be listed with the county clerk." "It's just gonna take a minute to get a hit." "Chloe, what I said about your mother, I was way out of line." "It's cool." "We all have family secrets, I guess." "She left when I was 5." "I came downstairs, and there was my dad trying to make waffles." "He never even really explained why she left." "It was weird." "I'm sorry." "It's hard thinking you weren't good enough for someone to love." "Don't ever think that." "There is no record of Rachel Dunlevy." "Try the name Lucas Luthor." "Okay, you're gonna have to explain that one to me later." "Bingo." "There's his address." "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for coming on such short notice." "I have an important announcement to make that concerns my family." "My son, Lex Luthor, has been kidnapped." "I want to say to his abductor:" "I will never give in to your demands." " No." " Lf you harm him..." " No!" "No!" "... in any way I will not rest until you are hunted down and locked away, this time forever." "It's always been the policy of my company and my family never to negotiate..." " Where are you going?" "No!" " Your father just killed you, Lex." "Who are you?" "That's what I've been trying to tell you." "I'm not your son." "No." "Oh, no." " Lf you need anything else, give me a shout." " Thanks." "Cute place, very colorful." "Mr. Small." "Call me Henry." "Can I get you a coffee?" " Of course, you wouldn't want a coffee." " Regular coffee would be great." "I got your letter." "And yes, you did ambush me." "But from the way you describe yourself, it might just be a habit you got from me." "So you are my father?" "I don't know." "But I'm willing to find out." "Rachel's been admitted to a private psychiatric clinic." "Even if she tries to explain what you did, nobody will believe her." " I really feel sorry for her." " We all do, son." "I can't even imagine what it was like giving up that baby." "I'm just glad our own family is still in one piece." "Not even Lionel Luthor could tear us apart." "But Lionel helped us." "Dad, why do you hate him so much?" "The morning he came by with the adoption papers I thought I'd never lay eyes on him again." "Mr. Kent." "Mr. Luthor." "You call me Lionel, please." "Lionel." "I think you'll find everything in order." "Thank you." "And thank you for bringing it out yourself." "You really didn't have to do that." "We're taking Lex back to Metropolis today." "Hey, that's fantastic." "I'm glad your son's gonna be all right." "Thank you." "Thank you." "There is one thing I'd like you to do for me." " Yeah?" " I'm sure you've heard the Ross brothers are having second thoughts about selling me their factory." "They don't want to sell to an outsider." "They're friends of yours, aren't they?" " Yeah." "Yeah, they are." " Talk to them." "Convince them that I only have Smallville's best interests at heart." "I think it would make a difference." "I really don't think that's really any of my business, Mr. Luthor." "I understand." "I'd be careful with that." "I wouldn't want the Department of Family Welfare to find out young Clark's adoption's a sham." "Wait, are you threatening me?" "Of course not." "I'm just asking for a small favor." "So you did it." "You convinced the Rosses to sell." "I helped the Luthors get a foothold on this community." "The smokestacks, the toxic dumping all the people who were cheated, including Pete's family..." " It wouldn't have happened, if not for me." " You couldn't have known." "I should have known." "I knew exactly what kind of a man Lionel Luthor was." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I knew you would do exactly what you're doing now, which is blame yourself." " You were protecting me, it is my fault." " No." "You never believe that." "This was my decision." "This is my fault." "Mine alone." "Lex, is that you?" "Still alive and kicking, Dad." "No thanks to you." "You're a survivor, son." "I knew she wasn't gonna kill you." "Not for lack of trying." "I couldn't give in to her." "You must know that." "Like you did all those years ago?" "I loved your mother very deeply, Lex but I was not a perfect husband." "I strayed." "If you've never been tempted, I'm sure one day you will be." "We're not talking about me, Dad." "We're talking about Rachel Dunlevy." "Did she bear your illegitimate son or not?" "I never knew she was pregnant." "Then she reappeared one day with a child she claimed was mine demanding that I leave your mother and marry her." "So you bribed her to give the child up for adoption." "She was imbalanced." "She threatened me." "Your mother was too sick to burden her with a scandal." "Your altruism is inspiring, Dad." "I did what I thought best for everyone." "I had the child placed with a suitable family." " Not the Kents?" " The Kents?" " Don't be ridiculous." " Then where is he?" "He died before his first birthday." "Forgive me, Lex, I'm very tired." "It's been a long day." "Sure, Dad."