"[♪ Sons of the Pioneers:" "Tumbling Tumbleweeds]" "♪ See them tumbling down" "♪ Pledging their love to the ground... [man drawls] Way out west, there was this fella that I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski." "At least, that was the handle that his lovin'parents gave him." "He never had much use for it himself." "This Lebowski, he called himself "the Dude"." "Now, "Dude"." "That's a name no one would self-apply where I come from." "But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me and a lot about where he lived, likewise." "But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interesting." "They call Los Angeles "the city of angels"." "I didn't find it to be that exactly but I'll allow as there are some nice folks there." "Course, I can't say I've seen London." "And I've never been to France." "And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, as the fella says." "But I'll tell you what." "After seeing Los Angeles and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, uh..." "I guess I've seen something every bit as stupefying as you can see in any of those other places, and in English too, so I can die with a smile on my face without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me." "Now, this here story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early '90s, just about the time of our conflict with Saddam and the Iraqis." "I only mention it 'cause sometimes there's a man..." "I won't say hero, 'cause what's a hero?" "...but sometimes there's a man and I'm talking about the Dude here sometimes there's a man..." "Well, he's the man for his time and place." "He fits right in there." "And that's the Dude in Los Angeles." "And even if he's a lazy man, and the Dude was most certainly that, quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the running for laziest worldwide, but sometimes there's a man sometimes there's a man..." "Well..." "lost my train of thought here." "But..." "Ah, hell, I done introduced him enough." "[man on TV]...all for a collective action." "This will not stand, this aggression against, uh..." "Kuwait." "♪ Here on the range I belong" "♪ Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds ♪" " Aaaaagh!" " [squawks] [bubbling]" "Where's the money, Lebowski?" "We want that money, Lebowski." "Bunny says you're good for it." "Where's the money, Lebowski?" "Where's the money, Lebowski?" "Where's the fuckin' money, shithead?" "[Dude] It's, uh... [gasps] It's down there somewhere." "Let me take another look." "Don't fuck with us." "Your wife owes money to Jackie Treehorn." "That means you owe money." "Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski." "No." "No, don't do th..." " Not on the rug, man." " See?" "See what happens, Lebowski?" "You see what happens?" "Nobody calls me Lebowski." "You got the wrong guy." "I'm the Dude, man." "Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski." "Your wife is Bunny." "My... my wi..." "My wife?" "!" "Bunny?" "Do you see a wedding ring?" "Does this place look like I'm fuckin' married?" "The toilet seat's up, man." " What the fuck is this?" " Obviously you're not a golfer." " Woo?" " Yeah." "Isn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire?" "[Woo] Fuck." "Yeah, what do you think?" " He looks like a fuckin' loser." " Hey, at least I'm house-broken." " I haven't got fuckin' time for this." " Thanks a lot, asshole." " [door slams] - ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh" "♪ La-la la-la, la la, la-la-la" " ♪ Ooh - ♪ La-la, la-la, la-la-la" "♪ La-la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la-la" " ♪ La, la-la-la - ♪ Ooh, ooh" "♪ La-la-la" " ♪ Ooh - ♪ La-la la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la" "♪ The man in me will do" "♪ Nearly any task" "♪ And as for compensation, there's little he would ask" "♪ Take a woman like you" "♪ To get through to the man in me" "♪ Storm clouds are raging" "♪ All around my door" "♪ I think to myself" "♪ I might not take it any more" "♪ Take a woman like your kind" "♪ To find the man in me" "♪ But, oh" "♪ What a wonderful feeling" "♪ Just to know that you are near" " ♪ Oh - ♪ It sets my heart a-reeling" "♪ From my toes up to my ears" "♪ The man in me will hide sometimes" "♪ To keep from bein' seen" "♪ But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine" "♪ Take a woman like you" "♪ To get through to the man in me..." "Whoo!" "I'm throwing rocks tonight." "Mark it, Dude." "This was a valued rug." "This was a..." " Yeah, man, it really tied the room together." " This was a valued, uh..." " What tied the room together?" " My rug." "Were you listening to the Dude's story, Donny?" " I was bowling." " So you have no frame of reference." "Like a child that wanders into the middle of a movie..." "Walter, what's the point?" "Here's my point, Dude." "There's no fuckin' reason..." " Yeah, Walter, what's your point?" " Huh?" "What is the poi..." "We all know who is at fault here." "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Huh?" "What the fuck are you?" "I'm not..." "We're talking about unchecked aggression." " What the fuck is he talking about?" " My rug." "Donny, you're out of your element!" "The Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill!" " So what the fuck are you talking about?" " The Chinaman is not the issue, Dude!" "I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude!" "Across this line, you do not..." "Also, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Asian-American", please." "Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads." "This is..." " What the fuck are you?" " He peed on my rug." " He peed on the Dude's rug." " Donny, you're out of your element!" " The Chinaman is not the issue here!" " So, who?" "Jeff Lebowski." "The other Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionaire." "That's fucking interesting, man." "Plus, he has the wealth, obviously, and the resources, so there's no fucking reason why his wife should go out and owe money all over town and then they come and pee on your fucking rug!" "Am I wrong?" " Yeah, but..." " OK, then." " That rug really tied the room together." " Fuckin' A." " And this guy peed on it." " Donny, please." "Y'know, this is the guy." "I could find this fuckin' Lebowski guy." "His name is Lebowski?" "That's your name, Dude." "This is the guy who should compensate me for the fuckin' rug." "His wife owes money all over town and they pee on my rug?" " They pee on your fucking rug?" " Peed on my fuckin' rug." "That's right, Dude." "They peed on your fucking rug." "[man] This is the study." "You can see the various commendations," " awards, honorary degrees, et cetera." " "Jeffrey Lebowski"." " Hm." "Very impressive." " Oh, please feel free to inspect them." " Oh." "No, I'm not really..." " Oh, please, please." "That is the key to the city of Pasadena, which Mr Lebowski received two years ago in recognition of his various civic, uh..." "Oh." "That's the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever Award, which is given... oh, not every year," " but only when there's a worthy..." " Is this him with Nancy?" "Yes." "Indeed." "That is Mr Lebowski with the first lady, yes." " It was taken when Mrs Reag..." " That's Lebowski on the left?" "Of course." "Mr Lebowski on the left..." "So he's a cripp..." "uh... y'know, a handicapped guy?" "Mr Lebowski is disabled, yes." "Uh..." "This picture was taken when Mrs Reagan was first lady of the nation, not of California." "Good shot." "He met with the president, but there wasn't time for a photo opportunity." " Nancy's pretty good." " Oh, wonderful woman!" "We were..." " These are..." " Oh." "Those are Mr Lebowski's children." " Different mothers?" " No." " Racially he's pretty cool?" " [laughs]" "They're not literally his children." "They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, inner-city children of promise but without the necessary means for a higher education, so Mr Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college." "Excuse me." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Far out." "Think he's got room for one more?" "One, uh?" "Oh, I see." "You never went to college." " Please don't touch that." " Yeah, I did." "But, y'know, I spent most of my time, uh..." "occupying various administration buildings, smoking a lot of Thai stick, breaking up the ROTC, bowling." "Truthfully, Brandt, I don't remember most of it." "[Brandt] Oh." " Hm." " [electric door opens]" "OK, sir, you're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski." "That's terrific." "But I am very busy, as I imagine you are." "What can I do for you, sir?" "Uh... well, sir, it's, uh... this rug I have." "It really tied the room together." "Uh..." "You told Brandt on the phone, he told me." "Where do I fit in?" "Well, uh... they were looking for you, these two guys." "I'll say it again." "You told Brandt on the phone." "He told me." "I know what happened." "Yes?" "Yes?" "Oh, so you know that they were trying to piss on your rug." "Did I urinate on your rug?" "You mean, did you personally pee on my rug?" "Hello?" "Do you speak English, sir?" "¿Parla usted inglés?" "I'll ask you again, did I urinate on your rug?" "No, like I said, Woo peed on my rug." "I just want to understand, sir." "Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city," "I have to compensate the person?" "Come on, man, I'm not trying to scam anybody here." "Uh... y'know, I'm just, uh..." "You're just looking for a handout, like every other..." "Are you employed, Mr Lebowski?" "Wait, let me explain something to you." "Um..." "I am not Mr Lebowski." "You're Mr Lebowski." "I'm the Dude." "So that's what you call me." "Y'know?" "Uh..." "That, or, uh..."His Dudeness"" "or "Duder" or, uh... y'know, "El Duderino", if you're not into the whole brevity thing." "Are you employed, sir?" "Employed?" "[chuckles]" "You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that on a weekday." "Is this a..." "What day is this?" "Well, I do work, sir." "So if you don't mind..." "No, I do mind." "The Dude minds." "This will not stand, y'know?" "This aggression will not stand, man." " I mean, your wife owes money..." " My wife is not the issue here!" "I hope that someday my wife will learn to live on her allowance, which is ample." "But if not, that is her problem, not mine." "Just as the rug is your problem." "Just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility, regardless of who he chooses to blame." "I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs." "Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea." "But I went out and achieved anyway." "[chuckles]" "I cannot solve your problem, sir, only you can." "Oh, fuck it." ""Fuck it." That's your answer to everything." "Tattoo it on your forehead." "Your revolution is over, Mr Lebowski!" "Condolences." "The bums lost." "My advice is to do what your parents did." "Get a job, sir!" "The bums will always lose!" "Do you hear me, Lebowski?" "The bums will always lose!" "How was your meeting, Mr Lebowski?" "OK." "The old man told me to take any rug in the house." "Well, enjoy, and perhaps we'll see you again sometime, Dude." "Yeah, sure, uh... if I'm in the neighbourhood, y'know, and, uh... and need to use the john." "♪ Mucha muchacha" "♪ Mucha muchacha" "♪ Mucha muchacha" "♪ Mucha muchacha..." "Blow on them." " Huh?" " Go ahead." "Blow." "You want me to blow on your, uh... toes?" "Uh-huh." "I can't blow that far." "[splash]" "You sure he won't mind?" "Uli doesn't care about anything." "He's a nihilist." " Oh, that must be exhausting." " You're not blowing." "Our guest has to be getting along, Mrs Lebowski." "Oh." "You're Bunny." "I'll suck your cock for $1,000." "[laughs]" "Wonderful woman." "We're very fond of her." "Very free-spirited." " Brandt can't watch." "Or he has to pay 100." " [laughs] That's marvellous." "Uh..." "I'm just gonna go find a cash machine." "Whoo!" "I'm slamming 'em tonight." "You guys are dead in the water." "All right!" "Way to go, Donny!" " If you will it, it is no dream." " [snarling]" "You're fuckin' 20 minutes late, man." "What the fuck is that?" " Theodor Herzl." " Huh?" "State of Israel." "If you will it, Dude, it is no dream." "What the fuck are you talking about, man?" "What's in the fucking carrier?" "Oh." "Cynthia's dog." "Think it's a Pomeranian." "Can't leave him home alone." "I'm watching it while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii." "You brought a fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?" ""Brought it bowling?" I didn't rent it shoes." "I'm not buying it a fucking beer." "He's not taking your turn." "Man, if my ex-wife gave me her dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu," "I'd tell her to go fuck herself." "Can't she board it?" "You don't have an ex." "And this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers." "You can't board it, it gets upset." "Its hair falls out." " Fucking dog has fucking papers." " [pins clatter]" " Over the line!" " Huh?" "I'm sorry, Smokey." "That's a foul." " Bullshit." "Mark it eight, Dude." " Uh... excuse me." "Mark it zero." "Next frame." "Bullshit, Walter." "Mark it eight, Dude." "Smokey, this is not Nam, this is bowling." "There are rules." "Walter, come on." "It's Smokey." "So his toe slipped over a little." "It's just a game, man." "This is a league game." "This determines who enters the next round robin." "Am I wrong?" "Yeah, but I wasn't over." "Give me the marker, Dude." "I'm marking an eight." "Smokey, my friend..." "you're entering a world of pain." "Walter, man..." "If you mark that frame an eight, you're entering a world of pain." " I'm not..." " A world of pain." " Look, Dude, this is your partner..." " Has the whole world gone crazy?" "Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?" " They're calling the cops, man." " Mark it zero!" " [barks] - [Dude] Walter, put the piece away." "You think I'm fucking around?" "Mark it zero!" "All right, it's fuckin' zero." "You happy, you crazy fuck?" "It's a league game, Smokey." "You can't do that, man." "These guys, they're like me." "Pacifists." "Smokey was a conscientious objector." "You know, I dabbled in pacifism at one point." "Not in Nam, of course." "And you know he's got emotional problems, man." "You mean, beyond pacifism?" "He's fragile." "He's very fragile." "Well..." "I did not know that." "Well, it's all water under the bridge." " And we do enter the next round robin." " [approaching sirens]" " Am I wrong?" " No, you're not wrong." " Am I wrong?" " No, Walter, you're just an asshole." "OK, then." "Playing Quintana and O'Brien next week." "They should be pushovers." "Man, will you just... just take it easy, man?" "That's your answer for everything, Dude." "Let me point out something." "Pacifism is not..." "Look at our current situation with that camel-fucker in Iraq." "Pacifism is not something to hide behind." "Just take it easy, man." "I'm perfectly calm, Dude." " Waving the fucking gun around?" "!" " Calmer than you are." "Will you just take it easy?" "Calmer than you are." " [♪ Her Eyes Are A Blue Million Miles] - [answering machine bleeps]" "Dude, this is Smokey." "I don't want to be a hard-on and I know it wasn't your fault, but I thought I should tell you that Gilbert and I will be asking the league to set aside the round, I don't know, maybe forfeit it to us." "So, like I say, just thought, you know, fair warning." "Tell Walter." "I'm sorry." "[answering machine bleeps]" "Mr Lebowski, this is Brandt at, uh..." "well, at Mr Lebowski's office." "Please call us as soon as it's convenient." "[answering machine bleeps]" "Mr Lebowski, this is Bill Selliger of the Southern Cal Bowling League." "I just got an informal report that a member of your team, uh..." "Walter Sobchak, drew a firearm during league play." " [knocking]" " If this is true, it contravenes a number of the league's by-laws, and also Article 27..." " Dude." " Hey, Marty." "Dude, I..." "I finally got..." "I got the, uh... the venue I wanted." "I'm performing my dance quintet, you know, my cycle, at Crane Jackson's Fountain Street Theater on Tuesday, and... well, I'd love it if you came and gave me notes." " I'll be there, man." " [chuckles]" "Uh..." "Dude, uh... tomorrow's already the 10th." "Far out." "Oh." "All right." "OK." "Just, uh... just slip the rent under my door." "...serious infraction and examine your standing." "Thank you." " [answering machine bleeps]" " Mr Lebowski, Brandt again." "Please do call us when you get in and I'll send the limo." "I hope you're not avoiding this call because of the rug, which I assure you is not a problem." "We need your help and, uh..." "well, we'd very much like to see you." " Thank you." "It's Brandt." " [bleep]" "We've had terrible news." "Mr Lebowski's in seclusion in the west wing." "[♪ Mozart:" "Requiem in D Minor]" "Mr Lebowski." "Funny." "I can look back on a life of achievement, challenges met, competitors bested, obstacles overcome." "I've accomplished more than most men, and without the use of my legs." "What..." "What makes a man, Mr Lebowski?" " Dude." " Huh?" "Uh..." "I..." "I don't know, sir." "Is it being prepared to do the right thing whatever the cost?" "Isn't that what makes a man?" "Mm..." "Sure." "That and a pair of testicles." "You're joking, but... perhaps you're right." "You mind if I do a J?" "[tearfully] Bunny..." "Excuse me?" "Bunny Lebowski." "She is the light of my life." "Are you surprised at my tears, sir?" "[strangled] Fuckin' A." "Strong men also cry." "Strong men also cry." "[Mr Lebowski clears throat]" "I received this fax this morning." "As you can see, it is a ransom note." ""We have Bunnie... "" "[Mr Lebowski] Written by men who are unable to achieve on a level field of play." ""Gather one million dollars..." " Cowards!" "...in unmarked non-consecutive twenties. "" " Weaklings!" ""Await instructions."" " Bums!" " "No funny stuff."" "Bummer." "[Mr Lebowski] Huh?" "This is a bummer, man." "That's a... that's a bummer." "Brandt will fill you in on the detail." "[choir sings feverishly]" "Mr Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier once we get instructions for the money." "Why me, man?" "He believes the culprits might be the very people who, uh... soiled your rug and you're in a unique position to confirm or disconfirm that suspicion." " He thinks the carpet-pissers did this?" " Well, Dude, we just don't know." "[♪ The Gipsy Kings:" "Hotel California] [moody flamenco guitar]" "[whooshing]" "[faster flamenco rhythm]" "♪ Por el camino del desierto" "♪ El viento me despeina" "♪ Sube el aroma de colita Luna, luna de nadie" "♪ Allí estaba a la entrada" "♪ Y las campanas a sonar" "♪ Y me di con llamarme mismo" "♪ Que es puerta del cielo" "♪ Ella enciende una vela" "♪ En muestra del camino" "♪ Suenan voces en el corredor Y lo que indican diciend... ♪ Welcome to the Hotel California" " [pins clatter] - ♪ Such a lovely place..." "Fucking Quintana." "That creep can roll, man." " Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude." " Yeah." "No." "He's a sex offender with a record." "He did six months for exposing himself to an eight-year-old." "[pins clatter]" "When he moved to Hollywood, he had to tell everyone he was a pederast." "[Donny] What's a pederast, Walter?" " [Walter] Shut the fuck up, Donny." " [dog barks]" "So." "How much they give you?" "20 grand, man." "And I still get to keep the rug." " Just for making the hand-off?" " Yeah." "They gave Dude a beeper." " So when these guys call..." " What if it's during a game?" " I said if it was during league play..." " What's during league play?" "Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you piece of shit." " What's wrong with Walter, Dude?" " I figure it's easy money." "It's all pretty harmless." "She probably kidnapped herself." " What do you mean, Dude?" " Rug pee-ers did not do this." "Look at it." "A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money." "She figures he isn't giving her enough." "She owes money all over town." " That fuckin' bitch." " It's all goddamn fake, man." "It's like Lenin said, you look for the person who will benefit." " And, uh... y'know, uh..." " I Am The Walrus?" "You know, you'll, uh..." " You know what I mean." " I Am The Walrus." " That fuckin' bitch!" " Well, yeah." " I Am The Walrus." " That's exac..." "Shut the fuck up, Donny!" "VI Lenin." "Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!" " What the fuck is he talking about?" " That makes me fuckin' sick." " What do you care, Walter?" " Those rich fucks." "This whole fuckin' thing." "I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck" " so that this fuckin' strumpet, this whore..." " Walter..." " I don't see any connection to Vietnam." " There isn't a literal connection." "There isn't any connection." "Your roll." " Have it your way, but my point is..." " Your roll." "Are you ready to be fucked, man?" "I see you rolled your way into the semis." "Dios mío, man." "Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up." "Yeah, well, y'know, that's just, like, uh..." "your opinion, man." "Let me tell you something, pendejo." "You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes," "I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fuckin' trigger till it goes click." " Jesus." " You said it, man." "Nobody fucks with the Jesus." "Eight-year-olds, Dude." " [pins clatter] - [jubilant shout]" " [pins clatter] - [cheering] [thump]" " [pins clatter] - [bowling ball rumbles down alley]" " [strike] - ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh" "♪ La-la la-la, la la, la-la-la" " ♪ Ooh - ♪ La-la, la-la, la-la-la" "♪ La-la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la-la" " ♪ La, la-la-la - ♪ Ooh, ooh" "♪ La-la-la" " ♪ Ooh - ♪ La-la la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la" "♪ The man in me will do" "♪ Nearly any task" "♪ And as for compensation, there's little he would ask" " [screams] Whoooaa!" " ♪ Take a woman like you" "♪ To get through to the man in me" " ♪ Storm clouds are raging" " Aaaah...!" "♪ All around my door" "♪ I think to myself" "♪ I might not take it any more" "♪ Take a woman like your kind" "♪ To find the man in me" " ♪ But, oh..." " [beeper goes off]" "[Echoing] ♪ What a wonderful feeling" "[Fading into radio] ♪ Just to know that you are near" " [wincing] Aaah." " ♪ It sets my heart a-reeling" "Oh, man...!" " ♪ From my toes - [beeper]" " ♪ Up to my ears - [groans]" "♪ The man in me will hide sometimes..." "They called 80 minutes ago." "Take the money and drive north on the 405." "They will call you on the portable phone in 40 minutes." "One person only." "They were very clear on that." " What happened to your jaw?" " Oh, nothing, man, just, uh..." "Here's the money." "And the phone." "Please, Dude, follow whatever instructions they give." "Her life is in your hands." " Man, don't say that." " Mr Lebowski asked me to repeat that." " Her life is in your hands." " Oh, shit." "Her life is in your hands, Dude." "Report back to us as soon as it's done." " Where the fuck are you going, man?" " Take the ringer." "I'll drive." " The what?" " The ringer." "The ringer, Dude!" "[tyres squeal] [thump]" " [Dude] What the?" "!" " Have they called yet?" "What the hell is this?" "My dirty undies, Dude." "Laundry." "The whites." "Walter, I'm sure there's a reason you brought your dirty undies, man..." "That's right." "The weight." "The ringer cannot look empty." "What the fuck are you thinking?" "You're right." "I got to thinking, why should we settle for a measly 20 grand..." ""We"?" "You just wanted to come along." "Why settle for 20 grand when we can keep the entire million?" "Am I wrong?" "Yes, you're wrong." "This isn't a fuckin' game, man." "Oh, but it is a game." "You said she kidnapped herself." " I said I thought..." " [portable phone rings]" "Dude here." "[man, German accent] Who is this?" "Dude, the bagman, man." "Where do you want us to go?" ""Us"?" "Shit!" "Yeah, you know, uh... me and the driver." "I'm not handling the money, driving and talking on the phone..." " Shut the fuck upl" " Dude, are you fucking this up?" "Who is that?" "That is the driver." " I told you..." " [disconnected tone]" " Oh, shit!" " What the fuck's going on?" "He hung up, man!" "You fucked it up!" "Her life was in our hands, man." " Easy, Dude." " We're screwed now." "We don't get shit." "They're gonna kill her." "We're fucked, Walter!" "Nothing is fucked, Dude." "Come on, you're being very un-Dude." "They'll call back." " She kidnapped her..." " [phone rings]" "You see?" "Nothing's fucked here, Dude." "Nothing is fucked." "They're a bunch of fuckin' amateurs!" "Walter, will you just shut the fuck up?" "I'm doing business here, man." "OK, Dude." "Have it your way." "But they're amateurs." " Dude." " OK, we proceed but no funny stuff." "Yeah, yeah." "So no funny stuff, OK?" "Just tell me where you want us to go." "That was the sign, man." "So, all we've got to do is get her back, no one's in a position to complain, we keep the baksheesh." "Terrific, Walter." "But how are we gonna get her back?" "That's the simple part, Dude." "We make the hand-off." "I grab one of 'em, beat it out of him." "Huh?" "That's a great plan, Walter." "That's fuckin' ingenious." "It's a Swiss fuckin' watch." "That's right." "The beauty of this is its simplicity." "Once a plan gets too complex, everything can go wrong." " If there's one thing I learned in Nam..." " [phone rings]" " Dude." " When you cross the wooden bridge, throw the bag from the left window of the moving car." "You're being watched." "Fuck." " What'd he say?" "Where's the hand-off?" " There is no hand-off." "At the wooden bridge, we throw the money out of the moving car." "We can't do that." "That fucks up our plan." "Call them up and explain it to them." "Your plan is so simple, they'll understand it." " Wooden bridge, huh?" " Throw them the money." "OK, give me the ringer." "Chop-chop." "Fuck that." "I love you, Walter, but you have to face it, you're a goddamn moron!" " OK, Dude, no time to argue." " Hey, man..." "Walter!" "Hey, Walter!" " Hey, Walter..." " There goes the ringer!" " What the fuck?" " Your wheel." "At 15mph, I roll out." "I go back, grab one, beat it out of them." "The Uzi." " Uzi?" " I'm not rolling out of here naked." " 15, Dude." "This is it." "Let's take that hill!" " Walter!" "Wa... [yelps]" "[engine stops]" "Uh... uh... [engines roar]" "Hey!" "We have it!" "We have it!" "We have it!" "[voice cracking] We... have it... [sniffs]" "Ah, fuck it, Dude." "Let's go bowling." "[portable phone rings]" "[phone rings] [pins clatter]" "[phone rings]" " [Walter exhales] - [phone rings]" "Aitz chayyim he, Dude, as the ex used to say." "What the fuck does that mean?" "What the fuck are we gonna tell Lebowski?" "Oh, him." "Uh..." "I don't, uh..." " What exactly is the problem?" " The problem is..." " What do you mean, "What's the..." - [ringing cuts off]" "There was no..." "We... we didn't, uh..." "They're gonna kill that poor woman, man!" "What the fuck are you talking about?" "That poor slut kidnapped herself." "C'mon, you said so yourself." "I said I thought she kidnapped herself." "You're the one who's so certain." "That's right, Dude. 100 per cent certain." " They posted the next round." " Shut the fuck..." "When do we play?" " This Saturday." "Quintana and..." " They have to reschedule." "What am I gonna tell Lebowski?" "I told that fuck at the league office..." "Who's in charge of scheduling?" "Burkhalter." " I told that Kraut I don't roll on Shabbasl" " Walter." " They already posted it." " They can fuckin' unpost it!" "Who gives a shit?" "They're gonna kill that poor woman, man!" "C'mon, Dude, she'll get tired of her game and wander on back." " Why don't you roll on Saturday?" " I'm shomer Shabbas." " What's that, Walter?" " What do I tell Lebowski?" "Saturday, Donny, is Shabbas, the Jewish day of rest." "I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven," " and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!" " Sheesh." "Shomer Shabbasl" " Walter, how am I going to?" " Shomer fucking Shabbas." " Fuck." "That's it, I'm out of here." " Oh, come on, Dude." "[he mouths]" "Dude!" "Dude..." "Aah!" "Look, you just tell him, uh... tell him we made the drop and everything went..." " How'd it go?" " All right." "Dude's car got dinged up." "We didn't make the fuckin' hand-off, man." "They didn't get the fuckin' money!" " They're gonna..." " They're gonna kill that poor woman." "If you can't ride in a car, how do you get around on Shammas?" "Dude, they're not gonna kill shit, they're not gonna do shit." "They're amateurs." "Look at the bottom line." "Who's sitting on a million dollars?" "Am I wrong?" "Who's got a million dollars sitting in the trunk of our car?" " "Our" car, Walter?" " What do they got?" "My dirty undies." " [phone rings] - [Walter gives strangled cough]" " Say, Dude, where is your car?" " Who's got your undies, Walter?" " Where's your car, Dude?" " You don't know, Walter?" "[clears throat] It was parked in a handicapped zone." "Perhaps they towed it." "You fuckin' know it's been stolen." "Well, certainly that's a possibility, Dude." " Oh, fuck it." " [phone rings]" " Where you going, Dude?" " Home, Donny." " Phone's ringing, Dude." " Thank you, Donny." "[portable phone rings] [ringing cuts off]" "Uh... yeah, uh..." "Green, some, uh... brown, uh... rust coloration." "And was there anything of value in the car?" "Oh, uh... yeah." "Uh..." "A tape deck, some Creedence tapes and there was a, uh uh... my briefcase." "In the briefcase?" "Uh... papers." "Just papers." "Uh..." "You know, uh... my papers." "Business papers." " And what do you do, sir?" " I'm unemployed." " [home phone rings]" " My rug was also stolen." " Your rug was in the car?" " No." "Here." " Separate incidents." " [answering machine clicks on]" "The Dude is not in..." "Do you find much of these stolen cars?" "Sometimes." "Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck, though." "Or the Creedence." " Uh... what about, uh... the briefcase?" " [answering machine bleeps] [woman] Mr Lebowski, I'd like to see you." "Call and I'll send a car." "My name is Maude Lebowski." "I'm the woman who took your rug." "Well." "Guess we can close the file on that one." " [doorbell chimes] - [heavy door bangs] [woman chants breathily]" "[breathy chanting continues]" "Huh." " [thud] - [rattling] [batlike shrieking]" "Ayúdame a bajer?" "I'll be with you in a moment, Mr Lebowski." " [muted breathy chanting] - [indistinct conversation]" "Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr Lebowski?" " Is that what this is a picture of?" " In a sense." "My art has been commended as vaginal, which bothers some men." "The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. "Vagina"." " Oh, yeah?" " They find it difficult to say." "Whereas without batting an eye, a man will refer to his "dick" or his "rod" or his "johnson"." ""Johnson"?" "All right, Mr Lebowski." "Let's get down to cases." "My father let you have the rug, but as it was a gift from me to my late mother, it was not his to give." "Your face." " As for this kidnapping..." " Huh?" "Yes, I know all about it and I know that you acted as courier." "The whole thing stinks to high heaven." "Yeah." "Right." "But let me explain something about the rug." " Do you like sex, Mr Lebowski?" " Excuse me?" "Sex." "The physical act of love." "Coitus." "Do you like it?" "I was talking about my rug." " You're not interested in sex?" " You mean coitus?" "I like it too." "It's a male myth that feminists hate sex." "It can be a natural, zesty enterprise." "However, some people... it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women... engage in it compulsively and without joy." " Oh, no." " Oh, yes, Mr Lebowski." "These unfortunate souls cannot love in the true sense of the word." "Our mutual acquaintance Bunny is one of these." "Listen, Maude, um..." "I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, but I don't see what this has to do with..." "You have any Kahlúa?" " Take a look at this, sir." " Hm?" "Oh, I know that guy." "He's a nihilist." ""Karl Hungus."" " Hi." " Hello." "Meine despatcher says something is wrong with deiner cable." "Come on in." "I'm not sure what's wrong with the cable." " That's why they sent me." "I'm an expert." " The TV's in here." "You recognise her, of course." "That's my friend Sherry." "She's just here to use the shower." "The story is ludicrous." " Meine Name ist Karl." "Ich bin expert." " You must be here to fix the cable." "Lord." "You can imagine where it goes from here." " He fixes the cable?" " Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey." "I don't care that this woman pursues a career in pornography nor that she has been "banging" Jackie Treehorn, in the parlance of our times." "However, I and my father are the two trustees of the Lebowski Foundation." " We take youngsters from Watts..." " Shit, yeah, the Achievers." "Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes, and proud we are of them." "I asked my father about his withdrawal of $1 million from the foundation, and he told me about this abduction, but it is preposterous." "This compulsive fornicator is taking my father for the proverbial ride." " Yeah, but my..." " I'm getting to your rug." "My father and I don't get along." "We don't approve of each other's lifestyles." "However, I hardly wish to make his embezzlement a police matter so I propose that you recover the money from the people you delivered it to." "Well..." "I could do that." "If you successfully do so," "I will compensate you to the tune of 10% of the recovered sum." " A hundred..." " Thousand, yes," ""bones" or "clams" or whatever you call them." "Yeah, uh... but, uh... what about my, uh..." "With that money, you can buy a rug that has no sentimental value for me." "And I am sorry about that crack on the jaw." "That's fine." "That doesn't even, uh..." "Here's the name and number of a doctor who will look at it." "You will receive no bill." "That's thoughtful, but..." "Please see him, Jeffrey." "He's a good man." "And thorough." "Oh, well... all right." "He says, "My wife's a pain." "She's always busting my friggin' agates."" ""My daughter's married to a loser bastard."" ""I got a rash so bad on my ass I can't sit down."" ""But you know me, I can't complain." [laughs]" "Fuckin' A, man." "I got a rash, man." "Fuckin' A." "I gotta tell you, Tone, man, earlier today, I was really feeling shitty, man, really down in the dumps." " Lost a little money..." " Hey, you know what?" "Forget about it." "Yeah, fuck it, man." "I can't worry about that shit." "Life goes on." "Home, sweet home, Mr L." "Hey." "Yo." "C'mere." " Who's your friend in the Volkswagen?" " Huh?" " Yeah." "He followed us here." " When did he start?" "Whoa!" " What the fuck?" " Into the limo, you son of a bitch." "Careful, man." "There's a beverage here, huh?" " Start talking and talk fast, you bum!" " We've been frantically trying to reach you." "Where's my goddamn money, you bum?" "Well, we..." "I..." "I don't..." "They did not receive the money, you nitwit!" "They did not receive it!" " Her life was in your hands!" " This is our concern, Dude." "No, man, nothing is fucked here." " "Nothing is fucked"?" " No, man." "The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain!" "Man, come on." "Who are you gonna believe?" "Those guys, or..." " We dropped off the damn money." " "We"?" "I. The royal "we"." "You know, the editorial..." "I dropped the money exactly as per..." "Look." "Man, I've got certain information, all right?" "Certain things have come to light, and..." "Y'know, has it ever occurred to you that instead of, uh... y'know, running around blaming me, given the nature of all this new shit, this could be a lot more, uh..." "uh... uh... complex." "I mean, it's not just..." "It might not be just such a simple..." "Y'know?" "What in God's holy name are you blathering about?" "Well, I'll tell you what I'm blathering about." "I've got information, man." "New shit has come to light." "And, shit, man..." "She kidnapped herself." "Well, sure, man." "Look at it, y'know?" "A young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, y'know, she, uh... owes money all over town, including to known pornographers." "And that's cool." "That's... that's cool." "I'm saying, she needs money, man." "And, y'know, of course, they're gonna say they didn't get it, uh... because she wants more, man." "She's got to feed the monkey." "I mean, uh..." "Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man?" "Sir?" "No, Mr Lebowski, it had not occurred to me." " That had not occurred to us, Dude." " Well, OK, y'know." "You guys aren't privy to all the new shit, so, uh... y'know..." "But, hey, that's what you, uh..." "that's what you pay me for." "Speaking of which, do you think, uh..." "that you could give me my 20,000 in cash?" "My concern is, and I'll check with my accountant, that it'll bump me up into a higher tax..." "Brandt, give him the envelope." "Oh." "Well, you've already got the cheque made out." "That's cool." "[Brandt] We received this this morning." "Since you have failed to achieve even in the modest task which was your charge, since you have stolen my money, since you have unrepentantly betrayed my trust," "I have no choice but to tell these bums to do whatever is necessary to recover their money from you," "Jeffrey Lebowski." "And with Brandt as my witness, I will tell you this." "Any further harm visited upon Bunny will be visited tenfold upon your head." "By God, sir, I will not abide another toe." "♪ I hear the cottonwoods whispering above..." "That wasn't her toe, Dude." "Whose toe was it, Walter?" "How the fuck should I know?" "Nothing about it indicates..." " The nail-polish, Walter." " Fine, Dude." "As if it's impossible to apply nail-polish to someone else's toe... pinking shears..." " Where the fuck are..." " You want a toe?" "I can get you a toe." "Believe me." "There are ways, Dude." "You don't want to know." "Hell, I could get you a toe by 3pm today, with nail-polish." " Fuckin' amateurs!" " Walter..." "They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear." "Jesus Christ!" "They're gonna kill her and then kill me." "Dude, that's... that's just the stress talking, man." "Now, so far, we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes." " What about the toe?" "!" " Forget the fucking toe!" "Excuse me, sir, could you please keep your voices down?" "This is a family restaurant." "Please, dear, for your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint." "This is not a First Amendment thing." "If you don't calm down, I'll have to ask you to leave." "Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that we could enjoy this family restaurant!" "I'm out of here." "Hey, Dude, don't go away, man." "This affects all of us, man!" "Our basic freedoms!" "I'm staying." "I'm finishing my coffee." "Enjoying my coffee." " [water gurgles] - [whale song]" " [home phone rings] - [splutters]" " [answering machine clicks on]" " The Dude is not in." "Leave a message after the beep." " It takes a minute." " [beep]" "Mr Lebowski, this is Duty Officer Rolvaag of the LAPD." "We've recovered your automobile." "It can be claimed at the North Hollywood..." "Far out, man." "Far fucking out." " [thump] - [wood creaks]" "Hey... hey, this is a private residence, man." "[squeaking]" "Uh... nice marmot." "[ferret gurgles and snarls]" " [shrieks girlishly] - [squeaking]" "[German] Where is that money, Lebowski?" "We want the money, Lebowski!" "Aaiee!" "Get it... get..." "You sink ve are kidding, making with the funny stuff?" "We could do things you haven't dreamed of, Lebowski." " Ja." "We believe in nothing." " We believes in nothing." "Nothing." "And tomorrow ve come back and ve cut off your johnson." " Excuse me?" " I said we cut off your johnson!" " Just think about that, Lebowski." " Huh?" "Your wiggly penis." " Maybe ve stomp on it and squish it." " Ja." "It was discovered last night in Van Nuys, lodged against an abutment." " Oh, man." "Lodged where?" " You're lucky she didn't get chopped." "Must have been joyriders." "They abandoned the vehicle once they hit the wall." "My fucking briefcase, man!" "It's not here!" "Yeah, I saw that on the report." "Sorry." "You've got to get in on the other side." "Uh... the side-view was found on the road by the car." "You're lucky." "They left the tape deck and the Creedence." "Oh, Jesus, what's that smell, man?" "Probably a vagrant slept in the car." "Or maybe just used it as a toilet and moved on." "Hey, man, are you gonna find these guys, or, y'know..." "I mean, you got any promising, uh..." "leads, or?" "Leads?" "Yeah." "Sure." "I'll, uh... just check with the boys down at the crime lab." "They, uh... got four more detectives working on the case." "They got us working in shifts!" "[cackles]" "Leads!" "[Dude] My only hope is the Big Lebowski kills me before the Germans cut my dick off." "That is just ridiculous." "No one's going to cut your dick off." " Not if I have anything to say about it." " Thank you, Walter." " That makes me feel very secure." " Dude..." " That makes me feel very warm inside." " Uh, Dude..." "This whole fuckin' thing." "I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my rug." " But no, I gotta..." " Fuckin' Germans." "Nothing changes." " Fucking Nazis." " They were Nazis, Dude?" "C'mon, Donny, they were threatening castration." "Are we gonna split hairs?" " Am I wrong?" " Well..." "They were nihilists, man." "They kept saying they believe in nothing." "Nihilists." "Fuck me." "Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude," " at least it's an ethos." " Yeah." "And also, let's not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for... um... you know, domestic... within the city..." "that ain't legal, either." "Are you a fucking park ranger now?" " No, I'm just..." " Who gives a shit about the marmot?" "We are sympathising here, Dude." "Fuck sympathy." "I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man." " I need my fucking johnson." " What do you need that for?" "You have got to buck up." "You cannot drag this negative energy into the tournament." "Fuck the tournament." "Fuck you, Walter." ""Fuck the tournament"?" "OK, Dude, I can see you don't want to be cheered up." "Donny, let's go get us a lane." " Another Caucasian, Gary." " Right, Dude." " Friends like these, huh, Gary?" " That's right, Dude." "[♪ Sons of the Pioneers:" "Tumbling Tumbleweeds]" "♪ See them tumbling down" "♪ Pledging their love to the ground" "♪ Lonely but free I'll be found... [drawls] Have you got a good sarsaparilla?" "[Gary] Sioux City Sarsaparilla?" "Yeah, that's a good one." " How you doin' there, Dude?" " Not too good, man." " One of those days, huh?" " Yeah." "Well..." "A wiser fella than myself once said, "Sometimes you eat the bar..."" "Much obliged." ""Sometimes the bar, well, he eats you."" "Hm." "That some kind of Eastern thing?" "Far from it." "I like your style, Dude." "Well, I dig your style too, man." "You got a whole cowboy thing going." "Thank you." " There's just one thing, Dude." " What's that?" "Do you have to use so many cuss words?" "What the fuck are you talking about?" "OK, Dude." "Have it your way." "Take her easy, Dude." "Yeah, thanks, man." "Call for you, Dude." " Hello?" " [Maude] You've not gone to the doctor." "Uh..." "Oh, yeah, no." "No, I haven't yet." "I'd like to see you immediately." "Oh." "[♪ The Rustavi Choir:" "We Venerate The Cross]" " [Liverpool accent] So you're Lebowski." " Yeah." "Maudie's told me all about you." "She'll be back soon." "Sit down." " Do you want a drink?" " Yeah, sure, White Russian." "The bar's over there." " So, what do you do, Lebowski?" " Who the fuck are you, man?" " [titters] Just a friend of Maudie's." " Yeah, the friend with a cleft asshole?" " What do you do?" " Oh, nothing much. [titters]" " Hello, Jeffrey." " Yeah." "How are you?" "Um..." "Listen, Maude, I got to, uh tender my resignation or whatever, because, uh... it looks like your mother really was kidnapped after all." "She most certainly was not." "Hey, man, why don't you fucking listen occasionally?" "You might learn something." "Now, I got..." " Please don't call her my mother." " [man titters]" "She's the perpetrator, not the victim." " I got pretty definitive evidence..." " From who?" "From the main guy, Uli." "Uli Kunkel?" "Her co-star in the beaver picture?" "Beav..." "You mean vagina?" "I mean, you know the guy?" "I might have introduced them for all I know." " You remember Uli?" " Mm." "He's a musician." "Had a group, Autobahn." "Look in my LPs." "They released one album in the late '70s." "Their music is sort of a... eugh... techno-pop." "So he's pretending to be the abductor?" "Well, yeah." "Look, Jeffrey, you don't kidnap someone you're acquainted with." "The whole idea is that the hostage can't identify you after you let them go." " I know that." " [titters]" "What the fuck is with this guy?" "Who is he?" "Knox Harrington, the video artist." " So Uli has the money." " Well, uh... no, not exactly." "This is a very complicated case, Maude." " [phone rings]" " A lot of ins and outs, what-have-yous, a lot of strands to keep in my head, man," " a lot of strands in old Duder's head." " Hello?" " If Uli doesn't have it, then who does?" " It's Sandro about the Biennale." "Look, I have to take this." "Do you have that doctor's number?" "No, it's not even bruised any more." "Please, I don't want to be responsible for any delayed after-effects." " Dimmi, Sandro." "Sì?" " Come stai, carissima?" " After-effects?" " Sì." "Sì." " Che ridicolol - [tittering]" "[♪ Elvis Costello:" "My Mood Swings]" "Could you slide your shorts down, Mr Lebowski, please?" "Mm?" "No." "No, man, she hit me right here." "I understand." "Could you slide your shorts down, please?" "[♪ Creedence Clearwater Revival:" "Looking Out My Back Door]" "Yeah." "♪ Just got home from Illinois" "♪ Lock the front door, oh boy" "♪ Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch" "♪ lmagination sets in" "♪ Pretty soon I'm singin'" "♪ Doo, doo, doo, lookin' out my back door..." "Keeping my cool." "♪...a statue wearing' high heels" "♪ Look at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn" "♪ A dinosaur Victrola listening' to Buck Owens" " ♪ Doo, doo, doo, lookin' out my back door - [shrieks girlishly] [horn blares]" "♪ Wond'rous apparition provided by magician" "♪ Doo, doo, doo, lookin' out my back door" "♪ Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band" "♪ Won't you take a ride on the flying spoon?" "Doo-doo, doo, doo" "♪ Bother me tomorrow Today I'll buy no sorrows" "♪ Doo, doo, doo, lookin' out my back door ♪" "[cymbals crash]" "[♪ Mussorgsky:" "Gnomus from Pictures At An Exhibition]" "[audience member coughs]" "He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the In-N-Out Burger." " The In-N-Out Burger's on Camrose." " Near it." " Those are good burgers." " Shut the fuck up, Donny." "Kid is in ninth grade, Dude, and his father is..." "Are you ready?" " His father is Arthur Digby Sellers." " Who the fuck is that?" " Huh?" " Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?" "Have you ever heard of a little show called Branded, Dude?" ""All but one man died at Bitter Creek..."" "I know the fucking show." "So what?" "Fuck it, Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 156 episodes, Dude." " Huh." " Bulk of the series." " Not exactly a lightweight." " No." " And yet his son is a fucking dunce." " Hm." "We'll go there after the, uh... what-have-you." "The kid should be a pushover." " We'll be near the In-N-Out Burger." " Shut the fuck up, Donny!" "We'll go out there." "The kid should be a pushover." "We'll get that fuckin' million dollars back, if he hasn't spent it already." "A million fuckin' clams." " And yes, we'll be near the, uh..." " In-N-Out." " Sh!" " Some burgers, some beers, a few laughs." "Our fuckin' troubles are over, Dude." "[music reaches furious climax]" "Oh, fuck me, man." "That kid's already spent all the money, man." "New vette?" "Hardly, Dude." "I'd say he still has $960,000, $970,000 left, depending on the options." "Wait in the car, Donny." "[knock at door]" " [woman] Yes?" " Pilar?" "My name is Walter Sobchak." "This is my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski." "Uh... we came to talk about little Larry." "May we come in?" " Yes, yes." " Thank you." "[ventilator sucks and hisses]" "That's him, Dude." "And a good day to you, sir!" "Sit down, please." "Larry, sweetie, the man is here." "Is he..." "Does he still write?" "Oh, no, no." "He has health problems." "Uh-huh." "Uh... sir, I just want to say that we're both, on a personal level, really enormous fans." "Branded, especially the early episodes, was truly a source of inspiration..." "Sweetie, sit down." "This man is the police." "Oh, no, ma'am, we didn't want you to think we were police." "We're hoping it won't be necessary to call the police." "But that's up to little Larry." "Isn't it, Larry?" "Is this your homework, Larry?" " Is this your homework?" " Look, man..." "Dude." "Please." " Is this your homework, Larry?" " Just ask him about the car, man." " Is that your car out front?" " Is this your homework, Larry?" "We know it's his homework!" "Where's the money, you little brat?" "Look, Larry, have you ever heard of Vietnam?" "You're entering a world of pain, son." "We know that you stole a car." " And the fuckin' money!" " And we know this is your homework." " We're gonna cut your dick off." " You're killing your father, Larry." "All right." "This is pointless." "OK." "Time for plan B." "You might want to watch out that front window, Larry." "Son, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" "Language problem here." "Little prick's stonewalling me." "Walter!" "What are you doing, man?" "What are you doing?" "Here you go, Larry." "You see what happens?" "You see what happens, Larry?" " [dog barks]" " Oh, great." "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" "This is what happens!" "You see what happens, Larry?" "You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?" "You see what happens, Larry?" "You see what happens, Larry?" "Do you see what happens, Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass?" "This is what happens, Larry!" "This is what happens, Larry!" " My car!" "My baby!" "Stop!" " This is what happens, Larry," " when you fuck a stranger..." " What the fuck are you doing, man?" " I just bought that fucking car last week!" " Whoa, whoa!" "I'm gonna fucking kill you!" "I just bought the fucking car last week!" " C'mon, man..." " I'll kill your fucking car, man!" " No!" "Hey, hey!" "That's not his!" "Hey!" " Goddamn it!" " Oh, no!" "Man..." " Fuck you!" "You like that?" " Fuck you!" "I'll kill your fucking car!" " [Dude] No, no!" " I'll kill your fucking car!" " Hey!" "Hey!" " [glass tinkles] - [♪ Santana:" "Oye Como Va]" "♪ Oye como va" "♪ Mi ritmo" "♪ Bueno pa' gosar" "♪ Mulata" "♪ Oye como va" "♪ Mi ritmo" "♪ Bueno pa' gosar" "♪ Mulata..." "I accept your apology." "No, I just..." "I just want to handle it by myself from now on." "No, no..." "No, that has nothing to do with it." "Yes, the car made it home." "You're calling me at home." "No, Walter, it did not look like Larry was about to crack." "Well, that's your perception." "You know, Walter, you're right." "There is an unspoken message here." "It's "Fuck you!" "Leave me the fuck alone!"" "Yeah, I'll be at practice." "[♪ Oye Como Va stops]" "Pin your diapers on, Lebowski." "Jackie Treehorn wants to see you." "He knows which Lebowski you are, Lebowski." "Jackie Treehorn wants to see the deadbeat Lebowski." "You're not dealing with morons here." "[♪ Yma Sumac:" "Ataypura]" "Hello, Dude." "Thanks for coming." "I'm Jackie Treehorn." "Quite a pad you got here, man." "Completely unspoiled." " What's your drink, Dude?" " A White Russian." "Thanks." " White Russian." " How's the smut business, Jackie?" "I wouldn't know, Dude." "I deal in publishing." " Entertainment." "Political advocacy." " Which one's Logjammin'?" "It's regrettably true." "Standards have fallen in adult entertainment." "It's video, Dude." "Now that we're competing with amateurs, we can't afford to invest in little extras like story, production value, feelings." "People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone." " On you, maybe." " You have to take the good with the bad." "New technology permits us to do very exciting things in interactive erotic software." "Wave of the future, Dude." "100 per cent electronic." "Hm." "Well, I still jerk off manually." "Of course you do." "Well, I can see you're anxious for me to get to the point." "Well, here it is, Dude." "Where's Bunny?" "I thought you might know that, man." "Why would I?" "She only ran off to get away from that sizeable debt to me." " She didn't run off." "She's been, um..." " I heard that kidnapping story, so save it." "I know you're mixed up in all this, Dude." "I don't care what you're trying to get from the husband." "That's your business." "All I'm saying is, I want mine." "Yeah, right, man." "I mean, there are a lot of, um... facets to this," " a lot of interested parties." " [phone rings]" "Excuse me." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Where's that?" "All right." "Excuse me." " Huh." " [door opens]" " Forgive me." " No problemo, man." "So, uh... if I, uh... can find your money uh, what's in it for the Dude?" " There's that to discuss." "Refill?" " Does the Pope shit in the woods?" " A ten per cent finder's fee." "That all right?" " Mm." "OK." "Done, Jackie." "I dig the way you do business, man." "Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers." "He lives in North Hollywood on Radford." "By the In-N-Out Burger." "Fuckin' brat, but I'm sure your goons can get it off him." "He's 15." "Flunkin' social studies." "So, if you could just, uh... write me a cheque for my 10 per cent of half a million five grand, I'll go out and mingle." "You mix a hell of a Caucasian, Jackie." "[echoing] A 15-year-old kid?" "Is this some sort of a joke?" "No, no joke." "No funny stuff, Jackie." "The kid's got it." "Hi, fellas." "The kid just wanted a car." "[echoing] All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back." "Not greedy..." "It really... tied the room together." "[man drawls] Darkness washed over the Dude, darker than a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night." "There was no bottom." "[drum roll]" "[♪ distorted country]" "♪ Yeah, yeah, oh yeah" "♪ What condition my condition was in" "♪ I woke up this morning with the sundown shining' in" "♪ I found my mind in a brown paper bag" "♪ But then" "♪ I tripped on a cloud and fell eight miles high" "♪ I tore my mind on a jagged sky" "♪ I just dropped in To see what condition my condition was in" "♪ Yeah, yeah, oh yeah What condition my condition was in" "♪ I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole And then I followed it in" "♪ I watched myself crawling' out" "♪ As I was crawlin' in" "♪ I got up so tight I couldn't unwind" "♪ I saw so much I broke my mind" "♪ I just dropped in To see what condition my condition was in" "♪ Yeah, yeah, oh yeah What condition my condition was in" "♪ Someone painted "April Fool" in big black letters on a Dead End sign" "♪ I had my foot on the gas as I left the road and blew out my mind" "♪ Eight miles outta Memphis and I got no spare" "♪ Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere" "♪ I just dropped in To see what my condition my condition was in" "♪ I said, I just dropped in To see what condition my condition was in" "♪ Yeah, yeah" "♪ Oh yeah ♪ [ominous electric guitar chord]" "[echoing] Huh?" "Aaah...!" "Aaaaagh!" "[screams]" "[slow, laboured breathing]" "[siren wails]" "[Dude] ♪ He was innocent... ♪ Not a charge was true" "♪ And they say he ran away..." "Branded!" "♪ [grunts]" "Is this your only ID?" "I know my rights, man." " You don't know shit, Lebowski." " I want a fuckin' lawyer, man." "I want Bill Kunstler, man, or or Ron Kuby." "Mr Treehorn tells us that he had to eject you from his garden party, that you were drunk and abusive." "Mr Treehorn treats objects like women, man." "Mr Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town." "You don't draw shit, Lebowski." "We got a nice, quiet little beach community and I aim to keep it nice and quiet." "So let me make something plain." "I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski." "I don't like your jerk-off name, your jerk-off face, your jerk-off behaviour, and I don't like you, jerk-off." "Do I make myself clear?" "I'm sorry." "I wasn't listening." "Ow!" "Fuckin' fascist!" " Aaaagh!" " Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski!" " Ow!" " Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!" "Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community." "♪ And I want to sleep with you in the desert tonight" "♪ With a billion stars all around..." "Jesus." "Man, could you change the channel?" "Fuck you!" "If you don't like my music, get your own fuckin' cab." " I had a really..." " I'll kick your ass out." "Man, come on." "I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man." " [tyres squeal] - [horns blare]" " Out of my fucking cab!" "Out!" " Hey, man." "Hey..." "Man..." "Man!" "Hey!" "[♪ Viva Las Vegas pounding on car stereo]" "♪ There's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there" "♪ They're all livin' devil may care" "♪ And I'm just the devil with love to spare" "♪ So viva las Vegas" "♪ Viva las Vegas..." "Oh, Jesus." "Jeffrey." " Maude?" " Love me." "That's my robe." " Tell me about yourself, Jeffrey." " Well, there's not much to tell." "I, um..." "I was one of the authors of the Port Huron Statement, uh..." " The original Port Huron Statement..." " Uh-huh." "...not the compromised second draft." "Uh... and then I, uh..." "You ever hear of the Seattle Seven?" " Hm." " That was me... and... and there were six other guys." " Uh... and then the music business, briefly." " Oh?" " Yeah." "Roadie for Metallica." " Oh." " "Speed of Sound" tour." " Mm-hm." "Bunch of assholes." "Uh... and then, uh..." "y'know, a little of this, a little of that." "My career's slowed down a little lately." "What do you do for... for recreation?" "Oh, the usual." "Bowl." "Drive around." "The occasional acid flashback." "[coughs]" "What happened to your house?" "Oh, Jackie Treehorn trashed the place." "He thought I had your father's money." "He got me out of the way while he looked for it. [sniffs] Cocktail?" "No, thanks." "It's not my father's money, it's the foundation's." "Why did he think you have it?" "Who does?" "Oh, Larry Sellers, this high school kid." "Real fucking' brat." "Y'know, this is a very complicated case, Maude." "A lot of ins, a lot of outs." "Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict drug regimen to keep my mind, y'know, uh..." "limber, and I'm very fucking close to your father's money." "I keep telling you, it's the foundation's money." "Father doesn't have any." "What?" "He's fucking loaded." " No, no." "The wealth was all Mother's." " No, he runs stuff." "We let him run a company briefly, but he didn't do very well." " Oh, he's, uh..." " No, he helps administer the charities now and I give him a reasonable allowance." "He has no money." "I know how he likes to present himself." "Father's weakness is vanity." "Hence the slut." "Uh..." "Do you think he, uh..." "What's that?" "Yoga?" "It increases the chances of conception." " Increases?" " Well, yes." "What did you think this was all about?" "Fun and games?" "I want a child." "OK, uh..." "OK." "But let me explain something about the Dude..." "Look, Jeffrey, I don't want a partner." "I don't want the father to be someone I have to see socially or who'll have any interest in raising the child himself." " Oh." "So that doctor, uh..." " Exactly." "Now, what happened to your face?" "Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well?" "No, uh... it was the chief of police of Malibu." "A real reactionary." "So, your father..." " Oh, yeah." "I get it, yeah, yeah." " What?" "Oh, man, my thinking about this case had become very uptight." "Yeah." "Your father." "Jeffrey, what are you talking about?" "Jeffrey?" "Walter, if you're there, pick up the fuckin' phone, man." "Come on, Walter." " Pick it up, man." "This is an emergency." " Dude?" " Dude?" " I'm at my place." "I need you to pick me up." " I can't drive, Dude." "It's Erev Shabbas." " What?" " What?" "!" " Erev Shabbas." "I can't drive." "I'm not supposed to pick up the phone unless it's an emergency." " This is a fuckin' emergency!" " That's why I picked up the phone." "You fuck!" "We gotta go to Pasadena, man." "Pick me up or I'm off the bowling team." "[♪ slinky jazz]" " [starter motor labours]" " Get out of that fuckin' car, man!" "Get out of that fuckin' car." "Get the fuck out of the car, man." "Get out of the fuck..." " Who the fuck are you, man?" " Easy." "Relax, man." "No physical harm intended." "Who are you?" "Why are you following me around?" "Come on, fuckhead." "Relax." "I'm a brother shamus." "Brother Seamus?" "Like an Irish monk?" "What the fuck are you talking about?" "My name is Da Fino." "I'm a private snoop, like you, man." "What?" "A dick, man." "I dig your work." "Playing one side against the other, in bed with everybody." "Fabulous stuff." "I'm not..." "Fuck it, man." "Just stay away from my fuckin' lady friend." "Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady." "She's not my special lady, she's my lady friend." "I'm just helping her conceive!" " Hey, I'm not..." " Who are you working for?" "Lebowski?" "Huh?" "Jackie Treehorn?" "The Kneutsons." "The..." "Who the fuck are the Kneutsons?" "The Kneutsons." "It's a wandering daughter job." "Bunny Lebowski, man." "Her real name is Fawn Kneutson." "Her parents want her back." "Jesus fuckin' Christ." "Crazy, huh?" "Ran away about a year ago." "The Kneutsons told me to show her this." "It's the family farm." "It's outside Moorhead, Minnesota." " They think it'll make her homesick." " Oh, boy." "How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus?" "She's been kidnapped." " Man, that's terrible." " Maybe not, but she's definitely not around." "Hey, uh... maybe you and me could pool our resources, trade information, uh..." "professional courtesy, compeers?" " [dog yaps]" " Yeah, I get it." "Fuck off, Da Fino." "And stay away from my special..." "from my fuckin' lady friend, man." "Er... the lingonberry pancake." "Aufwachen, Arschlochl" "Lingonberry pancake." "Ze pigs in blanket." "Für mich, Heidelbeerpfannkuchen." " Uli?" "Heidelbeerpfannkuchen." " She has lingonberry pancakes." "[Uli and other men converse in German]" "[Dude] We totally fucked it up, man." "We fucked up this pay-off, we got the kidnappers pissed off." "And Lebowski yelled at me a lot but he didn't do anything, huh?" " Sometimes it's a cathartic, uh..." " No, no." "If he knows I'm a fuck-up, why'd he hire me to get his wife back?" "Because he doesn't fuckin' want her back, man." "He's had enough." "He no longer digs her." "It's all a show." "OK, but then, why doesn't he give a shit about his million bucks?" "He knows we never handed off his briefcase, but he never asked for it back." "The million bucks was never in the briefcase." "The briefcase was fuckin' empty, man." "The asshole was hoping that they would kill her." "You threw out a ringer for a ringer." "OK, but how does all this add up to an emergency?" "I see what you're getting at, Dude." "He kept the money." "My point is... [clears throat] here we are, it's Shabbas, the Sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death." "Come off it." "You're not even fuckin' Jewish, man." "What the fuck are you talking about?" " You're Polish Catholic." " What are you talking about?" " I converted when I married Cynthia." " Yeah, yeah." " You know this." " Yeah, and five years ago, you were divorced." "So when you get divorced, you turn in your library card?" "You stop being Jewish?" " This is the driveway." " I'm Jewish as fucking Tevye." "It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing." "Taking care of her fuckin' dog, going to her synagogue." "You're living in the past." "3,000 years of beautiful tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past!" "I'm..." " [♪ Viva Las Vegas blares]" " Jesus." "What the hell happened?" "♪ So viva Las Vegas" "♪ Viva Las Vegas..." " [Dude] Man, that's terrible." " Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "Let's go." "Fuck it." "Ah!" "Where was she, man?" "Visiting friends in Palm Springs." "She just left, never bothered to tell us." " The nihilists knew where she was." " She never even kidnapped herself." " Who is this gentleman, Dude?" " Who am I?" "I'm a fuckin' veteran." "Don't go in there." "He's very angry." " [dog whines and snarls]" " So, man..." "So she's back, no thanks to you." "Where's the fuckin' money, Lebowski?" "A million bucks from fuckin' needy Little Urban Achievers." "You are scum, man!" " Who the hell is he?" " Who am I?" "I'm the guy that's gonna kick your phony goldbricking ass!" "We know the briefcase was empty." "We know you kept the million bucks." "You have your story." "I say I entrusted the money to you and you stole it." "As if we would ever dream of taking your bullshit money!" "You thought that Bunny had been kidnapped and were fuckin' glad!" "You could make some money disappear." "All you needed was a sap to pin it on." "You just met me, you... you human paraquat!" "You figured, oh, here's a loser, y'know, somebody the square community won't give a shit about." "Well, aren't you?" "Well, yeah." "But..." "Get out." "Both of you." "Look at that fuckin' phony, Dude, pretending to be a millionaire." "Out of this house now, you bums!" "Let me tell you something else." "I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude." "And this guy's a fake." "A fucking goldbricker." "Stay away!" "This guy fuckin' walks." "I've never been more certain of anything in my life." " You stay away from me!" " Walter, for Christ's sake, he's a cripple!" " Come on!" " Get away from me..." " [crunch]" " Aaaagh!" " Put him down, man!" " Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude." "Achtung, baby!" " [Mr Lebowski whimpers brokenly] - [dog yaps]" "C'mon, help me put him back in his chair." "[bowling ball rumbles, pins clatter]" "[Walter]... they had the decency to tell us that we were fighting Communism." "Trying to prevent a domino effect there." "Whereas this whole fuckin' thing, this whole fuckin' thing, is nothing but nothing about oil." "Which I personally agree with, Dude." "Sure, you'll see some tank battles." "Fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle." "I mean, Nam was a foot-soldier's war, whereas this thing should, uh... y'know, should be a piece of cake." "I had an M16, Jacko, not an Abrams fuckin' tank." " Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball." " Yeah." "That's fuckin' combat." "The man in the black pyjamas, Dude." "A worthy fuckin' adversary." " Who's in pyjamas, Walter?" " Shut the fuck up, Donny." "Whereas here we have a bunch of fig-eaters with towels on their head, trying to find reverse on a Soviet tank." " This is not a worthy adversary." " Hey!" "What's this "day of rest" shit?" "What's this bullshit?" "I don't fucking care." "It don't matter to Jesus." "You not fooling me, man." "You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus." "It's bush league psych-out stuff." "Laughable, man." "Ha-ha!" "I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday." "I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead." "Whoo!" "You got a date Wednesday, baby!" "He's cracking." "...concept of age." "Many learned men have disputed this, but in the 14th century, the Rambam, he, like..." "He..." "[Carter Burwell: ♪ Technopop]" "Well, they finally did it." "They killed my fuckin' car." "We want ze money, Lebowski." "Ja, otherwise we kill the girl." "Ja." "It seems you have forgotten our little deal." "You don't have the fuckin' girl, dipshit." "We know you never did!" " Are these the Nazis, Walter?" " No, nihilists." "Nothing to be afraid of." "Ja, ja, ja." "We don't care." "We still want the money, Lebowski, or we fuck you ups!" " Fuck you." "Fuck the three of you." " Cool it, Walter." "Without a hostage, there is no ransom." "That's what ransom is." "Those are the fuckin' rules." " His girlfriend gave up her toe." " She thought we'd get a million dollars." "It's not fair!" "Fair?" "Who's the fuckin' nihilists around here, you bunch of fuckin' cry-babies?" "Cool it, Walter." "Look, pal, there never was any money." "The Big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with him, man!" "And I would like my undies back." " Are these guys gonna hurt us?" " No, these men are cowards." "OK." "So we takes the money you have on you and we calls it even." " [Dude laughs]" " Fuck you." "Hey, no." "Come on, Walter, we're ending this thing cheap, man." " No." "What's mine is mine." " Come on." " No funny stuff." " All right, all right." "Uh..." " I got, uh... four bucks, almost five." " I got $18." " What's mine is mine." " We fuck you up." "We takes the money." "Come and get it." " We fuck you up!" " Show me what you got, nihilist!" "I fuck you!" " Walter, he's got a sword." " Dipshit with a nine-toed woman." " I fuck you!" " Fuck you!" " [gasps]" " I fuck you!" "I..." " I fuck you up!" " Take it easy, man." "Take the $4." " I fuck you!" "I fuck you up the ass!" " [wheezes]" " I fuck you!" " I'll hit you with the ball!" " [screams] - [spits]" "Anti-Semite!" "I'll fuck you in the ass!" "I'll fuck you in the ass!" "I'll fuck you!" "I'll fuck you!" "I'll fuck you!" "I'll fuck you... [groaning]" "We got a man down, Dude!" " [groans in agony]" " Oh, God, they shot him, man!" "No, Dude." "There weren't any shots fired." " Huh?" " It's a heart attack." "Call the medics." "I'd go myself but I'm pumping blood." "Might pass out." "Buddy, you're doing fine." "We got help choppering in." "[mournful whale song] [footsteps echo]" " Hello, gentlemen." "You are the bereaved?" " Yeah, man." "Francis Donnelly." "Pleased to meet you." " Jeff Lebowski." " Walter Sobchak." "The Dude, actually, is, uh..." " Excuse me?" " Nothing." "Yes." "I understand you are taking away the remains." "Yeah." "We have the urn." "I assume this is credit card." "Yeah." "[Walter clears throat]" "What's this?" "That's for the urn." "[Walter] Don't need it." "We're scattering the ashes." "Yes, so we were informed." "However, we must of course transmit the remains to you in a receptacle." "It's $180." "It is our most modestly priced receptacle." " Can't we?" " $180?" "They range up to 3,000." " We're, uh... [clears throat]" " Can't we just rent it from you?" "Sir, this is a mortuary, not a rental house." "We're scattering the fuckin' ashes." "Being bereaved doesn't make us saps!" "Sir, please lower your voices." "Man, don't you have, y'know, something else we can put 'em in?" "That is our most modestly priced receptacle." "Goddammit!" "Is there a Ralphs around here?" "[gulls cry]" "Donny was a good bowler and a good man." "He was one of us." "He was a man who loved the outdoors..." "and bowling." "As a surfer, he explored the beaches of southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo." "He died..." "He died, as so many young men of his generation, before his time." "In your wisdom, Lord, you took him." "As you took so many bright, flowering young men at Khe Sanh and Long Duc and Hill 364." "These young men gave their lives." "So did Donny Donny who loved bowling." "And so," "Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well." "Goodnight, sweet prince." "[inhales deeply and sighs]" "Shit." "Oh, shit, Dude." "I'm sorry." "Goddamn wind." " Goddamn it, Walter, you asshole." " I'm sorry." " Everything's a travesty with you, man!" " I'm sorry." "It was an accident." "What was that shit about Vietnam?" "What does it have to do with Vietnam?" " What the fuck were you talking about?" " Dude, I'm sorry." "Fuckin'..." "Fuck, Walter." "Come on, Dude." "Hey, fuck it, man." "Let's go bowling." "[♪ Townes Van Zandt:" "Dead Flowers]" "♪ And when you're sittin' there" "♪ In your silk upholstered chair" "♪ Talking to some rich folks that you know [whooping]" "♪ Well, I hope you don't see me" "♪ In my ragged company" "♪ Or let you know I could never be alone..." " Two oat sodas, Gary." " Right." " Good luck tomorrow." " Thanks, man." " I was sorry to hear about Donny." " Oh, yeah, well... y'know..." "Sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes, uh... y'know..." "Hey, man." " Howdy do, Dude?" " I wondered if I'd see you again." "Wouldn't miss the semis." "How have things been going?" " Strikes and gutters, ups and downs." " Sure." "Gotcha." "Yeah." "Thanks, Gary." "Well... take care, man." "Gotta get back." " Sure." "Take it easy, Dude." " Oh, yeah." " I know that you will." " Yeah, well..." "The Dude abides." "Walter!" ""The Dude abides."" "I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that." "It's good knowing he's out there, the Dude, takin' her easy for all us sinners." "Shush." "I sure hope he makes the finals." "Well, that about does her." "Wraps her all up." "Things seem to have worked out pretty good for the Dude and Walter." "And it was a pretty good story, don't you think?" "It made me laugh to beat the band." "Parts, anyway." "I didn't like seeing Donny go." "But then, I happen to know that there's a little Lebowski on the way." "I guess that's the way the whole darned human comedy keeps perpetuating itself down through the generations." "Westward the wagons, across the sands of time until we..." "Oh, look at me." "I'm rambling again." "Well, I hope you folks enjoyed yourselves." "Catch you later on down the trail." "Say, friend, you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?" "[pins clatter]" "♪ Take me down, little Susie Take me down" "♪ I know you think you're the queen of the underground" "♪ Send me dead flowers every morning" "♪ Send me dead flowers by the mail" "♪ Send me dead flowers to my wedding" "♪ And I won't forget to put roses on your grave" "♪ No, I won't forget to put roses on your grave ♪" "[♪ Shawn Colvin:" "Viva Las Vegas]" "♪ Bright light city gonna set my soul" "♪ Gonna set my soul on fire" "♪ Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn" "♪ So get those stakes up higher" "♪ There's a thousand pretty men livin' out there" "♪ They're all livin' devil may care" "♪ And I'm just a devil with love to spare" "♪ So viva Las Vegas" "♪ Viva Las Vegas" "♪ Viva Las Vegas with your neon flashin'" "♪ And your one-armed bandits crashin'" "♪ All those hopes down the drain" "♪ Viva Las Vegas turning' day into night-time" "♪ Night into daytime" "♪ If you see it once You'll never be the same again" "♪ I'm gonna keep on, keep on the run" "♪ If it costs me my very last dime" "♪ If I wind up broke, well, I'll always remember" "♪ That I had a swingin' time" "♪ I'm gonna give it everything I got" "♪ Lady Luck, please let the dice stay hot" "♪ Let me shoot a seven my every shot" "♪ So viva Las Vegas" "♪ Viva Las Vegas" "♪ Viva Las Vegas" "♪ Viva" "♪ Viva" "♪ Viva" "♪ Viva" "♪ Las Vegas" "♪ Viva ♪"