"(FOOTSTEPS PATTERlNG)" "All right, Shawn, what in blue blazes is going on?" "You're up on the roof in this weather?" "Nothing, Dad." "Me and Gus were just practicing BASE jumping." "It's the newest thing in extreme sports." "Are you crazy?" "You could get yourself seriously hurt or maybe even killed doing something like this." "Don't worry, Dad." "We made life-sized replicas of ourselves to make sure the chutes would work." "Mine's over there." "We've made improvements since then." "BASE jumping." "Shawn, there's no way I'm going to let you do something that risky." "But, Dad..." "But nothing." "As long as you live in my house, you follow my rules." "Now, I want you to clean this stuff up, come inside and do your homework." "Gus, come on." "You're smarter than this." "Well, one day, I won't be living in your house." "Then I'll be able to take any risk I want." "What about that?" "Okay, when you and Gus are 30 years old, you can go out and be as wild and reckless as you want." "SHAWN:" "Best idea ever." "People say our intense love of bunnies is creepy at our age, but history will prove them to be heartless bastards." "I can't believe the French actually eat these little guys." "The French aren't the only ones." "What?" "No, I wasn't counting other rabbits." "Rabbits don't eat each other, Shawn." "Most rabbits, yes." "No, pretty much all." "You know what?" "This conversation will only end badly." "The thing is" "I have something big to tell you." "You know you can say anything to me, Gus." "We've known each other forever and there's absolutely nothing that could dent our impenetrable bond." "I have a secret girlfriend." "You're dead to me." "Shawn..." "I can't believe you." "You brought me all the way down here to get hopped up on bunny love so you could spring this on me and I wouldn't make a scene." "Yeah, pretty much." "Well, it's working." "I don't even remember what this whole thing was about." "God, this bunny is strong." "Must be Colombian." "Her name is Ruby." "I met her at BevMo and she's in marketing." "And I think she's really, really cool." "How do you know this chick isn't just trying to take you to the cleaners?" "Well, one, all my cash is tied up in dress shirts and decorative pillowcases." "Fair." "Why are you waiting till just now to tell me about her?" "Because I wanted to make sure that what we had was real and solid." "And I didn't want you screwing things up for me." "(clicking TONGUE)" "Your decision to not let me scope her out in advance could have repercussions for years to come." "Shawn, the thing is, you have a tendency to scare my girlfriends away." "Why, because I ask a few simple questions?" "You asked one girl if she knew the answer to the riddle of the sphinx." "And bullet dodged, you're very welcome." "You only knew that because you saw it on Super Friends." "She had the same opportunity to see that episode, Gus." "All right, you." "What are you doing?" "Pick that bunny back up." "I will not be easily swayed or impressed by the effects of an intense adorability high." "As far as I'm concerned, she is starting here." "Fine." "And she's got to get to here." "Okay." "It's not going to be easy." "(MUTTERlNG) When do I meet her?" "In about three seconds." "Three..." "Hi, handsome." "Right back at you." "Hi." "She was talking to me, Shawn." "Oh." "Ruby, this is Shawn." "Hi." "Hello." "It's so good to meet you." "I'm sorry I ran late, my last appointment ran long." "Oh." "She volunteers at the Wildlife Rescue." "Yeah, we were just cleaning up the ducks that got caught up in the oil spill." "Oh." "Wait a minute." "That sounded a little rehearsed." "Did he give you that?" "Shawn, you are as kooky as Gus advertised." "Although, you, mister, did not do justice to that hair." "My God, most guys I know would kill for that mane." "Some have." "Oh, well, not me." "I like Gus' head." "It would be a crime to cover this up." "Yeah." "I've got some questions for you, Rubes." "Okay, shoot." "Anything." "Anything?" "Shawn." "Oh, good." "Favorite color?" "Black." "Liar." "Prove it." "Favorite flavor?" "Of what?" "Everything?" "Mango." "Too easy." "Anything else?" "Favorite Magnum, P.I. episode?" ""Did You See the Sunrise?"" "Second favorite episode?" ""Did You See the Sunrise?" "Part 2."" "Wow." "Actually, uh, reverse those two." "Yeah." "Oh, my God." "Who are you?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Well, it was good to meet you, Shawn." "It was good to meet you, Rubes." "You've exceeded all expectations." "Aw, thank you." "And, might I say that you and Gus have one of the most rich and fulfilling friendships that I've ever seen." "We're like Andie and Duckie with just a tad of Mary-Kate and Ashley." "Well, aren't we glad that that's over?" "Yes, we are." "I guess all that's left now is for me to meet your friends." "You mean for me to meet her friends." "No, I'm pretty sure I had it right the first time." "Okay, we can change it to "we."" "When do we get to meet your friends?" "Uh..." "Now, I'm free now." "10 minutes from now." "Roughly an hour from now." "Pretty much anytime between now and tonight." "Shawn, that's a little short notice." "I would love to, but I have this thing planned today." "We would love to come." "Okay, normally, I would say great, seriously, but we're meeting at Berman's Bend down by the river and we only have so many supplies." "Not enough supplies." "All right, something on the books for next week." "Okay, good." "Thank you." "Sounds good." "Sounds good." "RUBY:" "Bye." "You know that's right." "I can't believe we're crashing their picnic." "You asked me to vet this woman." "No, I didn't." "Regardless, when I vet someone," "I vet until there's no vetting left to vet." "That is how I vet, Gus." "Ruby passed your test." "Of course she was good at the pet store." "She was prepared." "We got to catch her and her friends unaware before they have a chance to get their stories straight." "I like this woman, Shawn." "I don't want you to mess it up for me." "Dude, deep down you want this to happen." "You want me to do this, so that you can avoid another Mira situation or have you already forgotten the woman you married after only knowing for two days?" "Ruby is not Mira." "And I don't need you to tell me whether a woman is right for me." "Are you sure about that?" "Almost. 90%." "Dude." "Fine, 81%." "Then let the vetting continue." "Gus?" "Ruby, I'm sorry we're dropping in." "Yeah, but we agreed to do this next week." "We don't have enough supplies for two more people." "Which is why we brought our own Gruyere." "Uh, no, I think you wanted to catch me off guard to see what I was like with my friends, didn't you?" "Yeah, that's what I thought." "Okay." "Hey, guys." "Um, this is Gus and Shawn." "These are my friends." "This is Derek Walker." "How you doing?" "Jessica Martino." "Hi." "And my other friend, Stu Crawford." "Hello." "(lMlTATES BOOlNG) Stu!" "Sounds like I'm booing." "Sounds like I'm booing, right?" "But I'm not." "I'm saying Stu because I'm a fan of yours and your guys' whole team." "Look, I'm sorry we're crashing in on your..." "River rafting." "River rafting?" "RUBY:" "Yeah." "No, we thought you guys were having a picnic, you know, 'cause it's lunchtime." "It's 3:00 in the afternoon." "Let me explain." "Lunch for us starts 10 minutes after breakfast ends, goes till 10 minutes before dinner starts, unless of course we just combine the two, in which case we have linner." "And then there's dessiner, which is dessert and dinner." "You guys are fun." "You know, you're not crashing anything." "We've got plenty of room." "Go see Gunther." "He'll fix you up with anything you need." "And when you're done, meet us down by the river." "SHAWN:" "Sweet." "Okay." "Are you sure these outfits are waterproof?" "Gus, you barely get wet." "I've done this hundreds of times." ""It's a small world" doesn't count, Shawn." "All right, fine, Mr. Qualifier." "SHAWN:" "Guys, please, let us help with that." "Well, I've met each of you now and I'm sure you're more than a little curious about me." "Shawn..." "Actually, I am." "Ruby says you're a psychic." "Can you turn on your powers and predict my future?" "Derek, I'm a diviner, not a blender." "The psychic realm decides when it wants to communicate with me." "Though I am sensing that Stu, here, is the expert." "That's right." "He is the most experienced river rafter of the group." "In fact, it was his idea to come here today." "Well." "That's pretty good." "What else can you tell?" "Well, I can tell you that Jessica, here, is a bit of a free spirit." "Single, but looking." "Not afraid to make the first move." "Nice." "How'd you know that?" "She's tickling my ass." "Uh, that was completely by accident." "This time." "So, Ruby, you still haven't told me how you and your friends met." "Oh, well, Derek and Stu met at a wildlife preservation meeting, which is kind of ironic because Derek used to be a big game hunter back when he was dating Jessica." "Yeah." "I went to Africa with him twice, but only for the pictures." "I look really good in a safari outfit." "Bagged the big five, then I turned over a new leaf." "Big five." "Mouse, squirrel, turtle, Chad Michael Murray..." "How come I always forget the last one though?" "GUS:" "None of those are right." "He's talking about African game hunting." "Anyway, so Jessica and I, we worked together and that's how we met." "And then when Derek and Jessica broke up, we really wanted them to stay friends." "That way we just..." "You know, we didn't break the group up." "That's really cool and mature." "We're a tight group." "We look out for one another." "Isn't that right, guys?" "Yep." "We're also not an easy group to keep up with, which is why I've got to hand it to you two." "You guys seem really at ease in this situation." "Well, I'm into sales, so I'm used to meeting new people." "Hey, what's that noise?" "(WATER rushing)" "You might even call me a people person." "In fact, in high school," "I was voted "Most Well-Liked" and "King of Howdy Day."" "Only time it's ever happened." "Hey, are we on a flight path?" "You really fooled us, Gus." "We would never think that you would be into extreme stuff." "Extreme stuff?" "Like that?" "Here we go!" "STU:" "Derek." "RUBY:" "Okay." "It's all about taking it to the next level." "What are the whistles for?" "In case we get lost." "Whoo-hoo!" "Lost?" "Whoo!" "RUBY:" "Paddle forward." "Paddle forward." "GUS:" "You must be out of your damn mind!" "(RUBY WHOOPlNG)" "GUS:" "Help me, Lord!" "SHAWN:" "Ask him to help me, too." "(ALL whooping)" "SHAWN:" "Are those rocks real?" "DEREK:" "Yeah!" "Gus!" "(ALL yelling)" "DEREK:" "Whoa!" "(STU yelling instructions)" "DEREK:" "Yeah!" "It's the next level!" "SHAWN:" "Gus!" "DEREK:" "Yeah!" "(ALL whooping)" "(SHAWN yelling)" "SHAWN:" "Jessica's hand is still on my thigh!" "(ALL whooping)" "You okay?" "Yeah." "Guys, where's Stu?" "Stu!" "Stu!" "Stu!" "Stu!" "Stu, can you hear us?" "(ALL shouting)" "SHAWN:" "Stu!" "RUBY:" "Stu!" "In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity" "I'm not inclined to resign to maturity" "If it's all right then you're all wrong" "But why bounce around to the same damn song?" "You'd rather run when you can't crawl" "I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth" "I know, you know They just don't have any proof" "Embrace the deception Learn how to bend" "Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end" "I know, you know" "I know, you know" "(officers CHATTERlNG ON radio)" "So, did either of you see when this guy Stu fell out of the boat?" "There was so much water pummeling our face, we couldn't see anything." "Mostly consisting of Gus' tears." "You can't prove that." "Truth is, I found it pretty exhilarating." "I mean, the only thing I can really compare it to is the moment I found out you could have brownies delivered." "Except in this case, a human being is missing." "Yeah, that part was not cool." "Damn right it's not." "Can you believe Ruby and her friends do this kind of dangerous stuff all the time?" "They're adrenaline junkies, people who enjoy extreme activities." "I know what adrenaline junkies are, Shawn." "Am I crazy, but isn't the fact that Ruby likes to tempt death for thrills information that should have been disclosed on the first date?" "If only you knew someone who could have vetted that out beforehand." "Gus, can I talk to you for a sec?" "Dude..." "Shh!" "I should've warned you about the rapids before and that I'm into extreme sports." "Yeah, you should have." "I was just really afraid that it was going to freak you out." "I mean, some guys get really freaked out by stuff like that and I don't know, I'm sure you have, too, especially now with Stu..." "I just really hope he's okay." "Me, too." "But the truth is, none of this scared me off." "Really?" "Oh." "Gus." "May I have a word with you in the "Stop saying crazy things to Ruby" room, please?" "Give us a second?" "Okay." "I thought you said you were going to break up with her?" "I changed my mind." "When?" "Just now." "Man, she likes to almost die, so do her friends." "It's like we walked into Final Destination." "Shawn, we walked out of Final Destination." "What?" "Bottom line, she's been vetted." "It's time to push the eject button." "I'm not ready to do that, Shawn." "CARLTON:" "And make sure CSl covers this whole area." "JULlET:" "Yeah, okay." "I will do that." "That's Stu's vest." "What happened?" "Did you find him?" "You know, I'd rather leave that to the professionals." "It would be inappropriate for me to speculate at this time." "Please." "We can handle it." "Okay, my best guess, the life vest came off when he fell out of the boat." "He hit his head on a rock and he drowned." "We'll probably find his body in a gully or a spillway somewhere down the river." "I just hope that we get to him before the birds do." "Carlton!" "What?" "They said they could handle it." "(SOBBlNG)" "Oh." "Classy, Lassie." "But you're right." "Stu did go overboard, but you're not going to find his body in a spillway, because he didn't hit his head and he definitely didn't drown." "So, he just what, turned into a fish and swam away?" "Don't be ridiculous." "Cat like Stu would never reach into Costner's bag of tricks." "But I am pretty sure he swam away." "All right, obviously Stu used the hooks to attach himself to something in the water." "But why would he do that?" "Not entirely sure." "JULlET:" "Guys." "We got news on the missing person." "I just got a call from the diving team." "They found high-strength netting on the bottom of a big boulder in the middle of the rapids." "All right, let me tell you how this went down." "Stu knew exactly where to jump out of that boat." "And it happened in rough water, so that no one would notice that he was gone." "And then he just waited for the raft to drift around a bend and he made his way to shore." "But, I don't get it." "Why would Stu want to make it look like he drowned?" "Because of this." "SHAWN:" "Clearance sale at Mattress Discounters." "Seems redundant." "No, this." "Stu and his business partner Brian Sampson just filed for bankruptcy." "Sampson." "That's just a great name, straight out of film noir." "Like an old detective who drinks hard, but loves even harder." "Or go with me here." "(lN HlGH-PlTCHED voice) "Sampson, a tiny little orphan mouse" ""who must find his way home to Wolverhampton."" "Or Samson, the legendary figure from the Bible?" "No, that doesn't work." "All those guys had names like Ben-Hur and Prometheus." "You have never read the Bible, have you, Shawn?" "(SCOFFS) Genesis, Exorcist, Leviathan." ""Do the right thing..."" "Oh, my gosh." "Stop talking!" "O'Hara, we gotta find this Brian Sampson." "Because if this is true, given the complexity of Stu's escape, there's no way he could have done this by himself." "He's right." "Oh, no, no, no, that's Stu's seat." "Gus, a word." "What?" "Bad news first." "I'm almost positive Ruby's the one who helped Stu commit this crime, but here's the good news." "We can use Ruby, solve the case, look like heroes." "You are unbelievable." "Thank you." "Really unbelievable." "You've convinced yourself that Ruby is wrong for me and now you're fishing for some reason to justify it?" "Man, I know this is hard to hear, but I'm pretty sure she was involved." "The only thing she's involved in, Shawn, is being awesome." "All right, maybe I'm wrong." "Damn right, you are." "Maybe I'm being overprotective because of the way the Mira thing went down." "Shawn, I appreciate you looking after me." "But Ruby is not Mira." "Okay?" "Okay." "The only thing she's guilty of is being awesome?" "That's right." "Your parents met her?" "No." "They're at that time-share pitch in Chula Vista." "I'll get us together when they get back." "In the meantime, I've got the next best thing." "Where's Chula Vista?" "I don't know." "I think they made it up." "RUBY:" "So, my hands are all bloody and blistered from three hours of fighting to reel in this marlin when all of a sudden, I realize, that we've drifted into Cuban waters." "What?" "And I know this because one of their patrol boats proceeds to blow a hole the size of a bowling ball in our hull." "(HENRY CHUCKLES)" "Henry, this bourbon packs a wallop." "Little too strong for you?" "Oh, no, no, no." "I'm paying you a compliment." "Not strong enough." "Try this." "So, what happened next?" "Well, we turned and we ran for our lives." "We made it, like, around five miles off the coast of Key West before she sank and then we had to swim the rest of the way." "Get this." "We ended up sitting in with the house band at Sloppy Joe's, soaking wet." "That is the best damn fish story I've ever heard." "(RUBY CHUCKLlNG)" "Cheers." "Yeah, that was my friend Stu." "He planned the whole trip, you know?" "Look, I'm pretty sure wherever he is, he's okay." "Yeah." "I better check on the burgers." "(RUBY SlGHlNG)" "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?" "I'm making my world famous burgers." "You are supposed to be helping me prove that Ruby is hiding something." "Instead, you're swapping fishing stories with her." "And what is that nonsense about you catching the bluefin tuna?" "You found it on the beach and practically tripped over it and you know it." "Oh, come on." "Shawn, look, that's what you do." "It's a fishing story, Shawn." "You embellish." "I know you think you're trying to help Gus." "You usually are, but in this case, I'm not so sure." "Why would you say that?" "Look, is it possible, just possible, that your suspicions in Ruby stem from your jealousy that Gus is in a healthy, solid relationship with a great woman, whereas you had one with an equally great woman," "but you let her slip away?" "How much have you had to drink?" "More than a little and less than enough." "But I make sense, don't I?" "Looks like you're a big hit with Shawn's dad." "Yeah, but the only one that I can't win over is Shawn." "It's like he doesn't trust me or something." "Yeah, well, he was a little suspicious about you at first." "Suspicious?" "Yeah." "How so?" "(CHUCKLES)" "I probably shouldn't tell you." "We'll probably have a big laugh about this someday." "(FAKES LAUGH)" "He had this crazy theory caught up in his head about how you helped Stu orchestrate his disappearance." "What?" "Yeah." "The cops said that Stu used some kind of webbing to attach himself to a rock and Shawn has it caught up in his head that you helped him orchestrate it." "Oh, my God." "What?" "He's really psychic." "Wait a second." "You mean he's right?" "You did?" "Gus, Stu is my best friend in the world." "He just said that he was in some kind of trouble and he needed a few days to figure things out." "Wait, Ruby, you need to tell the police about this now." "I can't." "Stu begged me to give him a few days." "I'm the only person in the world that he can trust, Gus." "And you're the only person that I can trust." "So, you know what this means?" "What?" "We're in a trust circle, Gus." "No, no, I want out of the trust circle." "There are no doors in the trust circle, Gus." "What about Shawn?" "That would be a trust triangle." "Don't make this more difficult than it already is, okay?" "Please, please, please?" "You have to promise me you're not going to say anything to Shawn." "For me?" "I promise." "(DOOR OPENS)" "Thank you." "(SHAWN laughing forcibly)" "Smiths lyric-off." "You, me, 10 minutes." "I'm going to wipe the floor with you." "We're starting with The Queen Is Dead." "15 minutes." "Uh-huh." "Dude, I want to tell you something." "Will you look at me, please?" "I just had a drunken revelation out there, okay?" "It wasn't mine, it was my Dad's, but at this point, I'll take it." "I was way off about Ruby, and I admit it." "She's amazing." "In fact, I wish we could clone her." "And then maybe the clone would come off a little, uh, a little slow, not like she has special needs or anything, just like a little bit dim." "And you know, and that would be perfect for me." "The truth is, I think I was just jealous 'cause I can see you guys have something special and I haven't heard from Abigail in, like, a month or something." "I appreciate your honesty, Shawn." "So, what were you and Rubes talking about?" "SHAWN:" "Jules, got your message." "What's up?" "We haven't been able to get a hold of Brian Sampson." "Sampson, great name." "Sounds like one of the dwarf warriors from Willow." "Shawn, we've been through this already." "Sampson is Stu's business partner, remember?" "But we were able to track down Sampson and Stu's assistant, Charles Lucas." "Lassiter has him in interrogation Room A, but he claims that he doesn't know anything." "You want me to get in there and read him, because I can always tell when someone is hiding something." "Isn't that right, Gus?" "Why do you keep looking away from me when I talk to you?" "You've been doing that all morning." "I have something in my eye, Shawn." "Here." "What is it?" "Monkey brush." "I've never heard of that." "Oh, okay, so now you're going to tell me monkey brush doesn't even exist?" "Gus, don't be the new Meshach Taylor." "I don't know what you're talking about, Shawn." "You are not going to leave this room, Lucas, until you start telling me the truth!" "Saying "the truth" louder than the previous words isn't going to work." "I've told you the truth." "I don't know anything." "(DOOR OPENS)" "Thanks, Lassie, we'll take it from here." "Let's get one thing straight, Spencer." "You are here to observe this interrogation and nothing more." "Understood?" "Absolutely." "I've got something." "You were at the river the day that Stu disappeared." "Yeah, I was there, but only because Stu asked me to drop him off and then drive his car downriver, so he wouldn't have to catch a ride back." "Then I called a cab and went home." "You're lying." "He's not lying." "His lip is completely still, there's no sweat on the forehead, fingers aren't trembling." "(lNHALES)" "You're hiding something." "No, I'm not." "I want the truth." "That is the truth." "Exactly who are we interrogating right now?" "Gus, what are you hiding?" "I'm not hiding anything, Shawn." "You're crazy." "Lassiter, tell him he's crazy." "No, he's hiding something." "Let's go." "(SHAWN SCOFFlNG)" "Can I leave now?" "Quiet." "Dude, Ruby said something to you, didn't she?" "Who?" "Ruby, who's only guilty of being awesome." "They just found a body in the woods." "It's Stu's business partner." "Sampson?" "Sampson?" "The loveable Saint Bernard who lives next door but doesn't realize how big he is?" "Looks like he was the victim of a hunting accident." "But get this." "I found out that Sampson and Stu just took out million-dollar life-insurance policies and named each other as beneficiary." "You think Stu might have killed Brian for the money." "It's motive." "Gus, are you sure there's nothing you'd like to say right now?" "I gotta go." "Ruby, I need to talk to you." "Hi, come on up." "Are you nuts?" "That's dangerous." "I know it seems weird, but this is kind of our coping mechanism." "Dude..." "Okay, this is getting ridiculous." "Whatever you and Ruby are about to conspire to do is just as bad, I'm sure." "(whispers) We're talking about murder here, Gus." "You have to tell me what you know." "I can't talk to you right now, Shawn." "Are you kidding me?" "(GRUNTS)" "Dude, this is me." "I am your partner and your best friend and we are not supposed to keep secrets from each other." "I know, Shawn, but it's complicated." "No, math is complicated." "The show It's Complicated was complicated." "The song Complicated by Avril Lavigne." "Ironically, not..." "Not very complicated." "And you know what?" "Neither is this." "Hey, Shawn." "I didn't expect to see you here." "Look who's learning to be the aggressive one." "I'm sorry, but I am not here to see you, Jessica." "Yeah, and I'm wearing panties." "Listen to me." "We have a responsibility to the police." "And if you know something and we don't tell them, that's the same as lying." "Oh, so should I tell them you're not really psychic?" "How did you get from A to B?" "Shawn!" "Hey, buddy, what are you doing here?" "Oh, you know, I'm just chasing after Jessica." "Ah, don't they all?" "You know, I don't know if this means anything, but I think you two make a great couple." "Maybe I should give you my key to her apartment." "Maybe." "You know, that way, you can get in." "I got it." "I do." "Dude, you have to stop letting Ruby come between us." "I'm not going to let that happen, Shawn." "Hey." "Hi." "What's going on?" "Ruby, I can't do this anymore." "I need to let Shawn in our trust circle." "I'm just going to pretend like I didn't hear that." "Ruby, the police think that Stu may have killed Brian Sampson." "Brian's dead?" "Yeah." "And I know that you helped stage Stu's disappearance." "Yeah." "I know you know that." "Gus told you?" "Of course he did." "But Stu?" "Stu could've never killed Brian, no matter how much Brian may have deserved it." "What does that mean?" "Well, Brian was the reason that Stu was going broke." "He used all of the company's money to pay for his exorbitant lifestyle." "Huh, it's always about money." "Yeah." "Tell him everything, Ruby." "We need to know where Stu is." "SHAWN:" "And just where do you think you're going?" "With you, to the police station." "Yeah, I don't think so." "Shawn, now that Ruby's told us Stu is hiding near Lone Pine, we have to tell the police." "Correction." "I have to tell the police." "You have to crawl back under your "Keeping secrets from your best friend" rock and apply for permanent residency." "Shawn." "Where you can vote, and pay your taxes and make little backstabbing rock babies." "Do we have to do this now?" "Yes, we do, because I'm beginning to question your dedication to this case, our partnership and maybe even America." "I'm as dedicated as ever." "I take our job seriously." "Please, you are so distracted by Ruby and her boobs and your lies and the heavy petting that you probably don't even remember who Jason is." "You mean Stu, Shawn." "Or who he kidnapped." "He didn't kidnap anyone." "He disappeared." "That's right." "Right off the top of a building in Vancouver." "That was an art thief who didn't actually steal anything." "And then fell down a mineshaft." "That was us." "Look, give it up, Shawn." "The fact is, my trust circle with Ruby notwithstanding," "I have been paying just as much attention to what's been going on as you have." "You can't have a circle with two people." "So let's set aside our personal issues and continue on our investigation." "Please, you wish you had my acute observational skills." "You wish you had my focus." "My attention to detail." "Attention to detail?" "Please." "All right, people, listen up." "By piecing together Stu's credit card activity, phone records and known sightings over the last three weeks, we've pinpointed his precise location to here, a small ranch outside of Reno, Nevada." "We need to coordinate with all state and local law enforcement agencies." "The psychic navigators are saying something different, Lassie." "Cut that out before you blind somebody." "As usual, Lassie, you're way off." "The actual position where Stu is hiding is here, right outside of Lone Pine." "And you know this how?" "The same way I knew that Stu had fled in the first place." "The question is, Lassie, do you want to mobilize your team to Nevada and risk humiliating yourself?" "Or do you want to mobilize them to Lone Pine, which is on the way and only risk humiliating me?" "Okay, everybody, let's head to Lone Pine." "Stay put, Spencer!" "Stu Crawford, it's the SBPD." "We're coming in." "You know, I'm still more than a little peeved at you for keeping all this from me." "I'm sorry, Shawn, but, you know, eventually we're going to both get married, there's going to be certain things we can't share with each other." "I'm trying not to think about that." "We're still going to live next door to each other, right?" "Hell, yeah, with a pool going across both of our yards." "I got dibs on the diving board." "Yeah." "Okay." "Spencer, Guster, why don't you get in there?" "Well, you had everything right, Spencer." "He definitely didn't drown in the river." "I know this must be very hard, but since Stu didn't leave a suicide note, is there anything that you can tell us?" "I've known Stu for years and none of this makes any sense." "I still can't believe he's gone." "Now, Ruby has already informed us of her involvement with Stu's disappearance." "If either of you two were involved, now is the time to tell us." "They don't know anything about it." "Actually, Stu came to me first saying that he needed a place to hide and I told him that he needed to stop being a coward and just face his problems like a man." "Stu told me that I was the only person that he trusted." "That is so like you to think that you're the special one in the group." "Everything's about Ruby." "I need attention?" "You're the one who throws herself at every guy that she meets." "Oh, take it back, bitch!" "Okay." "Whoa, ladies, simmer down." "Hold on, Chief." "Make her." "Can you try to make her?" "Look, Ms. Martino, we know that you've had some court-appointed anger-management sessions and a prior for stalking Stu's business partner, Brian Sampson." "Oh, that?" "Stu introduced us at a party and we totally hit it off." "And then Brian started sending me mixed signals." "Mixed signals." "Okay, well, let's just say that you're a person of interest." "And we'd like you to stay in town." "Fine." "Am I free to go, too, now?" "Yeah." "You, too, Ms. Jay." "Wait for me outside." "Well, the preponderance of evidence still points to Stu being responsible for Brian Sampson's murder." "Although in lieu of the performance we just witnessed," "I think we should re-review said evidence." "You can't re-review something, Shawn." "It's redundant." "Like re-repeat or re-reflect." "You can if you've peated and flected twice." "Need I remind you guys that you haven't even been hired on this case and, therefore, what you say doesn't matter?" "We haven't been hired?" "Nobody hired me." "We'll call you if we need you." "I'm sorry about Stu." "(EXCLAlMlNG)" "I'm sorry about putting you in this situation." "Hey, you were doing a good thing for a great friend." "I can't be mad at that." "Thank you for understanding." "So, now that everything is out in the open, let's agree." "Yes." "No more secrets?" "Okay." "Agreed." "Yes." "No more secrets." "All right." "All right." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Bottle and weave." "Really?" "Yeah." "Divorced." "Oh." "Baby daddy?" "No." "Credit?" "770." "Not bad." "Yay!" "Oh, you guys, this is so nice." "This feels good." "I knew you were special from the beginning, you." "You had me at "Did You See the Sunrise?" "Part 2."" "(SNlFFS)" "Uh, Shawn?" "Hmm." "Uh, I'm going to wait in the car." "All right." "Right." "I was right about her from the beginning." "She is amazing." "I'm 110% percent on the Ruby train now." "Good, because she just lost a dear friend." "She needs us, Gus." "We're her rock." "You mean I'm her rock." "Yes, you're her rock." "I'm her anchor." "Stop it, Shawn." "Stop what?" "You know what." "That?" "Yes, that." "I only did that because you said stop doing this." "If I stop doing that, then what?" "Stop stopping it, Shawn." "You know, I think I know what's going on here." "You feel bad that you were against Ruby from the beginning." "So now you're trying to overcompensate by pushing your way into our relationship." "But I am not upset." "Because I know deep down, it's just your way of saying" "I have a good thing in Ruby and you don't want to see me lose it." "Right." "You console your lady," "I'll handle the case for a while." "You mean the case we didn't get hired on?" "You know how I roll." "Hey, old buddy." "Raise your hand if you've missed you." "Okay, hold on." "Let me guess." "The police won't let you in on another case." "You want me to help you get around them." "I thought I was the psychic." "But I come bearing gifts." "I figure your slender toes must get a little chilly down here on the block." "They do." "Thank you." "All right, what can I do for you?" "Is that big Brian Sampson on the slab?" "Yep." "Handsome dude." "Got a big old hole in his peck." "Let me ask you something." "What's the first thing that pops into your head when I say Sampson?" "A vacuum you can use in space." "Thank you." "Thank you." "What can you tell me?" "Well, even though the bullet was not found, in my opinion, it likely came from a Winchester 70 rifle." "Get out of this death igloo." "You can tell that just by looking at the hole?" "Correct you are, my nicely gelled friend." "Allow me to demonstrate." "(EXCLAlMS)" "Of course." "Watermelon." "Perfect substitute for the human head." "Uncanny." "The porterhouse simulates the human thigh." "Yep." "The maple wood simulates oak wood." "Unfortunately, this is all academic unless we can find the actual murder weapon." "Believe me, you've helped more than you could possibly know." "Worcester..." "Worcester." "The sauce?" "That doesn't make any sense." "Westchester." "The county?" "Counties can't kill people, Jules." "Win..." "Win..." "Chester?" "Yes, 69." "70!" "Yes!" "Jessica Martino owns a Winchester 70." "That is a very good link to the murder of Brian Sampson." "Let's pay Ms. Martino a little visit, shall we?" "I'll call Gus, tell him and Ruby to stay away from Jessica." "SHAWN:" "Hello?" "Hello?" "What's up?" "Gus, stay away from Jessica." "You hooked up with her?" "What does that mean?" "No, she might be the murderer." "What?" "Just make sure you and Ruby don't go anywhere near her." "Don't worry about Ruby." "She's fine." "She said she had to clear her head, so she and Derek went paragliding." "You know, that's how they cope." "Of course it is." "Oh, this was a great idea, Derek." "Things have just been so out of control this week," "I really needed something to take my mind off of Stu." "No problem." "Okay, we're going to glide down the valley and then hike back up." "I'm just going to put our coordinates in, so we take the shortest path." "Oh, who do you know in Lone Pine?" "You know, that's the area that I told Stu about." "How did..." "Derek." "It was you." "Oh, no." "No, there's no way." "I really wish you hadn't seen that, Ruby." "That was Jules." "They found the rifle in Jessica's apartment." "They are booking her now." "Man, she was crazy." "Glad we found out now before you guys hooked up." "When was I ever going to hook up with Jessica?" "Shawn, please, you know honey was fly." "She's a murderer, Gus." "Plus, it was creepy." "She stalks Brian, she dates Derek..." "She was hot." "I know." "With legs I could have climbed." "What?" "I don't know if it means anything, but I think you guys make a great couple." "Maybe I should give you my key to her apartment." "Which is ironic because Derek used to be a big game hunter back when he was dating Jessica." "See, we're a tight-knit group." "We look out for our own." "Isn't that right, guys?" "Oh, no." "What?" "Ruby's in danger." "SHAWN:" "I'll explain on the way!" "GUS:" "I just put my car in the shop!" "SHAWN:" "Hold on tight." "I can't even process this, Derek." "Stu was our friend." "How could you kill him?" "Friend?" "Stu didn't understand the meaning of true friendship." "True friends stand behind one another." "See, Stu and I had a pact." "Right." "All right?" "I would make Brian pay for what he did and then I was going to let Stu cash in on the insurance policy." "Right." "And I held up my end." "But Stu, Stu decided to get a conscience." "Okay... (YELLS)" "Why don't, uh..." "Why don't you and I just make a pact right now?" "A pact that neither of us is going to kill me." "You have no idea." "The adrenaline rush you get when you track down and kill a man." "It's like lightning running down your spine." "None of this stuff compares." "I always sensed that you were the strongest of the group." "And I envied Jessica that she got to be with you." "You know that?" "Please don't insult my intelligence." "Fine, but I had to try." "You know what, you're a douche bag and quite frankly, as dumb as a wildebeest." "Sorry it had to end this way, Ruby." "No, Derek, please." "No, please." "Please!" "Hey, step away from my lady!" "Please!" "(SCREAMS)" "Don't move." "One step and she's gone." "Gus..." "It's all about taking it to the next level." "Isn't that right, D?" "I can see everything." "You killed Brian Sampson because he ruined Stu." "(GUN fires)" "Then you proudly told Stu that you did it." "But instead of thanking you, he totally freaked out." "Because he wasn't crazy." "And you knew it was only a matter of time before he cracked and went to the authorities." "So, you used your key to get into Jessica's place and take back the rifle you gave her from your big-game hunting days." "You done?" "Yeah." "Finally, you tracked down your buddy like a desert fox and killed him, making it look like a suicide, thus pinning the murder of Brian Sampson on Stu." "(SlRENS wailing)" "(yelling)" "Rubes!" "Freeze!" "SBPD!" "You're not going anywhere." "I got him, Shawn." "DEREK:" "Get off me." "GUS:" "Shawn!" "Shawn, Shawn, save me!" "RUBY:" "Hang on tight, Gus!" "JULlET:" "Come on." "RUBY:" "Don't let go!" "SHAWN:" "We'll see you at the bottom!" "GUS:" "Shawn!" "He's heading south." "Cover all clearings." "Backup, move south to open field." "Oh, he's not even hooked in." "SHAWN:" "Don't worry." "When Gus is scared, he can cling to something like a drowning cat." "GUS:" "Don't let me die, Shawn!" "(GRUNTlNG)" "RUBY:" "Gus!" "SHAWN:" "Almost there!" "GUS:" "Thank you, Lord." "RUBY:" "Gus!" "Dude, that was amazing!" "You manhandled a killer and you took him to the ground." "It was nothing." "A man protects his lady." "You're so brave." "Oh. (CHUCKLES)" "Hey, I'm your rock." "I'm your island." "Oh, I know." "CARLTON:" "Hey, how do you get this damned thing off?" "Oh, here." "Let me help you." "You untwist this." "You all right?" "Yeah." "What really happened?" "I squeezed him so tight, he passed out by accident." "Nice." "Oh, and my helmet smashed into his chin by mistake." "Okay, we're going to say that you muscled up his back and then you put him in a sleeper hold on purpose." "Sounds good." "(SlGHlNG)" "Next level's going to be dope." "Ruby's home, safe and sound." "There he is." "I gotta say, that was awfully boyfriendy of you, jumping out there, risking death like that to save Ruby." "She is lucky to have you, dude." "And I mean just you." "All you, nothing but the you." "Yeah, well, you know, we're gonna take a breather for a while." "We are?" "Yeah." "I mean, as you know, our relationship started off a lot more action-packed and exciting than most." "You mean with people disappearing, dying and being arrested." "Yeah, and a lot of heavy foods." "So, you two have decided to take a step back and evaluate if the attraction is real." "Yeah." "And then, when everything gets back to normal, if the feelings are still there, we'll start seeing each other again." "He's all growns-up, making growns-up decisions." "What?" "It was her idea, wasn't it?" "Of course it was." "I was begging." "Oh, Gus. (sighs)" "I did some soul-searching, too." "What if we had to go on the lam like Stu?" "And we ended up in the Sierras or someplace way far away from civilization with no cell phones, no water." "It's just us and we're lost, never to be heard from again?" "That'd suck." "It sure would." "So then I started thinking." "If that's us and death and starvation are imminent, how long would you want me to wait before I ate you?" "I won't dignify that with an answer, Shawn." "It's a perfectly reasonable question." "It's like having a living will." "No one plans for that." "Jules, would you tell Gus it's normal for friends to discuss when they'd like to be eaten in the event of a tragic, Alive-esque scenario?" "Ew." "Thank you." "Believe it or not, I'm with Spencer on this one." "I would eat the three of you in the following order." "O'Hara, Guster, then Spencer." "I've also made a list of whose organs I'd prefer in the event I need a transplant." "And I've planned for the contingency where I'm the last man on Earth and I need to choose one person from the department with whom to procreate." "Well, don't worry." "None of you made the list." "I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth" "I know, you know They just don't have any proof" "Embrace the deception Learn how to bend" "Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end" "I know, you know" "I know, you know" "I know, you know"