"♪ When a man loves a woman" "♪ Can't keep his mind on nothing else" "♪ He'll trade the world" "♪ For the good thing he's found" "♪ If she is bad he can't see it" "♪ She can do no wrong" "♪ Turn his back on his best friend" "♪ If he put her down" "♪ When a man loves a woman" "♪ Spend his very last dime" "♪ Tryin' to hold on to what he needs" "♪ He'd give up all his comforts" "♪ And sleep out in the rain" "♪ If she said that's the way" "♪ It ought to be" "♪ Well, this man loves a woman" "♪ I gave you everything I had" "♪ Tryin' to hold on" "♪ To your high-class love" "♪ Baby" "♪ Please don't treat me bad" "♪ When a man loves a woman" "♪ Down deep in his soul" "♪ She can bring him such misery" "♪ If she played him for a fool" "♪ He's the last one to know" "♪ Lovin' eyes can never see" "♪ When a man loves a woman... ♪" "Right." "Right." "That... and that!" "And that... is cricket, hon." "You want it?" "Sure!" "It doesn't matter if you don't." "You know, I won't be offended." "Jody's never offended." " What did you say your name was?" " Jude." "Jude." "Oh, that suits you, Jude." " The teddy bear?" " No, fuck this bear." "The name" " Jude!" "And it is Jude, right?" "I've gotta piss, Jude." "Over here." "♪ Jude in... ♪ Jude you... ♪ Jude, my baby" "♪ I said Baby, baby... ♪" "Stay here." "Don't run off, Jude." "You don't know me, do you?" " What if I did?" " You'd know I wouldn't run off." "Oh!" "Never pissed holding a girl's hand, Jude." "You didn't?" " You know what?" " Tell me, Jody." "It's nice." "Not here." " Who gives a fuck!" " You never know." " I never know nothing." " People..." " They could be looking." " Let 'em look." " Come and get me, soldier." " Whatever you say, Jude." "♪ Oh, I said baby, baby" "♪ Baby, whatcha doin' to me" "♪ I said baby, baby" "♪ Baby, whatcha doin' to me" "What the fuck?" "Get off." "Get off." "Now get it on!" "Get it on!" "Come on, Jude, come on." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Jude!" "♪ She wears those see-through sweaters" "♪ She likes to wear her stockings black... ♪" "So what's your name, soldier?" "Fuck you!" "Yeah." "The situation is simple." "You're being held hostage by the Irish Republican Army." "They've got one of our senior members under interrogation in Castlereagh." "We've informed 'em that if they don't release him within three days... you'll be shot." "You'll be treated as our guest until further developments." "Have you anything to say?" "Give him a cup of tea." "You want a cup of tea?" "Thanks, Jude." "See does he want some." "Do you want some food?" "Hey." "What's he like?" "A horny bastard." "Did you give him it?" "There are certain things I wouldn't do for my country." "Have a look at him." "Can't." "Poke him or something." "See if he's still alive." " He's all right." " Hasn't moved for twelve hours." "Go on." "Have a heart." "You fucking bitch!" "You fucking bitch!" "You fucking whore!" "You fucking whore!" "Give me a knife!" "Hey, get the fucking hood on!" "Give me a knife!" "Jesus!" "You all right?" " Fucking animal." " Come on, Jude." "What do you mean, "Come on"?" "I had him all over me!" "Yeah." " Tough work, that." " Well, someone's got to do it." "No, it was a breeze." "I just thought of you." "You know what, Fergus?" "What?" "One of you made me want it." "Which one?" "Right, hold it there." "To your left." "Walk on, you're OK." "Around, around to your left." "I'm gonna open the door." "Move to your left." "Now walk in." "That's it." "Listen, soldier, you should eat something." "Can't." "What do you mean, you can't?" "I can't eat through a canvas bag." "OK." "OK." "Here." "Fucking hell, man!" "This is a farce!" " How is it a farce?" " I've seen your fucking face!" "So, what do I look like?" "You're the one about 5'10" with the killer smile and a baby face." " Oh, am I?" " Yeah." "And the brown eyes." "You're the handsome one." " Thank you, handsome." " My pleasure." "I can't fucking breathe, man." "Be a Christian, will you?" "Tell him to take the hood off, honey." "How'd you know it was her?" "I could smell her perfume." "See, if we took the hood off, we'd have to shoot you." "As it is, you got a fifty-fifty chance." "I thought you liked me, you bitch." "It was fun while it lasted." "Nice lady." "Please, man." "I'm suffocating in here." "Take it off." "Can we not take it off?" "Have to check with himself." "Here, you mind him." "Don't leave me with her, man!" "She's dangerous!" "Peter?" " Can I take the prisoner's hood off?" " Why do you wanna do that?" " Poor whore's suffocating in the heat." " So?" " Anyway, he's seen our faces." " He's seen your face." "Yeah, and he saw Jude as well." "Peter..." "If you don't mind him seeing you, I don't mind, but you're the only one he looks at." "Right." "Thanks." "It's your decision." "Leave him to me, Jude." "My pleasure." "Thank you, soldier." "Never thought fresh air would taste this good." "Now, if you loosen my hands, I could feed myself." "No fucking way." "I'm only joking." "You know, I was wrong about one thing." " And what's that?" " You're no pin-up." " No?" " No." "You're not handsome at all." " Are you trying to hurt my feelings?" " No." " It's the truth." " I could say the same thing about you." "Could you?" "But I won't." "We're more polite around these parts." "So I've noticed." "Hey." "What is it now?" "You're gonna have to do it, aren't you?" "Do what?" "Kill me." "What makes you think that?" "They're not gonna let that guy out." "And you're gonna have to kill me." " They'll let him out." " You want to bet?" "I'm not a gambling man." "And even if they do..." "you can't just let me loose." "Why can't we?" "Not your nature." "What do you know about my nature?" "I'm talking about your people, not you." "What the fuck do you know about my people?" "Only that you're all tough, undeluded motherfuckers, and it's not in your nature to let me go!" "Shut the fuck up, would you?" "You..." " You know a funny thing?" " No." "What's a funny thing?" "I didn't even fancy her." "Didn't look like that to me." "She's not my type." "No?" "No." " Come here." " No." "Come here." "I wanna show you something." "What?" "My inside pocket." "Take out my wallet." "Open it." "Inside there's a picture." "No, not that one." "There's another." "Now, she's my type." " She'd be anybody's type." " Don't you think of it, fucker." " Why not?" " She's mine." "Anyway, she wouldn't suit you." " No?" " Absolutely not." "She your wife?" "I guess you could say that." "You make a nice couple." "Don't I know it." "So what were you fucking around for then?" "You fuckers set me up." "That... that bitch." "Uh, uh, uh..." "She's a friend of mine." "OK." "That nice lady..." "She meets me in a bar." "I'm thinking to myself," ""What the fuck am I doing here anyway?"" " What the fuck were you doing here?" " I got sent." " You could've said no." " Can't once I signed up." " Why did you sign up?" " It was a job." "Oh, yeah, a job." "So I get sent to the one place in the world where they call you "nigger" to your face." "Shouldn't take it personally." ""Go back to your banana tree, nigger."" "It's no use telling them I come from Tottenham." " And you like cricket?" " Best game in the world." "Ever see hurling?" "That game where a bunch of paddies whack sticks at each other?" " Best game in the world." " Never." "The fastest." "Well, in Antigua, cricket's the black man's game." "Kids play it from the age of two." "My dad had me throwing googlies from the age of five." "Then we moved to Tottenham and it was something different." " How was it different?" " Toffs' game there." "But not at home." "So, when you come to shoot me, Paddy, remember you're getting rid of a shit-hot bowler." "I'll bear it in mind." "Oh, and by the way..." "It's not "Paddy"." "It's Fergus." "Nice to meet you, Fergus." "My pleasure, Jody." "Stay." "Wait." "Wait!" "Take it easy now." "Just go slowly." " Down by that tree." " Tree..." "Tree." "Right." "You've got to loosen my hands." "Can't." "Can't?" "Then you're gonna have to take my dick out for me, aren't you?" "Come on, man!" "I'm gonna wet my pants!" "Take the fucker out, man." "I'm dying." "I gotta lean forwards, or dribble all over myself." "Will you hold my hands for me?" " Now, that is worth waiting for." " Hurry up, will you?" "These things take time, Fergus." "It's amazing how these small details take on such importance, isn't it?" "Now put it back in." " Give us a break." " I can't do it!" "It's only a piece of meat." "For fuck's sake, it's got no major diseases!" "Thank you." "Had a case of the clap two years ago." " Crabs in Ulster." " Shut up, would you?" "But, all in all, it's served me pretty well." " Get inside, will you?" " I didn't mean to offend you, Fergus." "Fergus." "Yeah?" "I'm sorry." "I..." "I know that wasn't very easy for you." "The pleasure was all mine." "Oh, no, it was mine." "Believe me, it was my pleasure." " What the fuck is this?" " Nothing, man." " He just took me out for a pee." " Put the fucking hood on him." "What the fuck is this?" "Nothing, he's just got a sense of humour, that's all." "When you're on duty, you'll keep your fucking mouth shut." " Now go and get some sleep." " Yeah, get some sleep." "Did he talk?" "Didn't make you laugh?" "Here, have some breakfast." "Good morning, Fergus." "So he knows your name?" "Yeah, I told him." "Are you all there?" "Come here." "I said come here!" "Back in a minute, Jody." "You'll have minimum contact with that prisoner!" "Yeah, OK." " Do you know why?" " Why?" "Because tomorrow we might have to shoot him, that's why." "They giving you trouble, Fergus?" "It happens." "There's two kinds of people." "Those who give and those who take." "Take off the hood, man." "It's OK." "I understand." "Don't mind if I prattle on, do you?" "I'll take it by your silence that you don't." "Two types, Fergus." "The scorpion and the frog." "Ever heard of them?" "A scorpion wants to cross the river, but he can't swim." "Goes to a frog who can and asks for a ride." "Frog says," ""If I give you a ride on my back, you'll go and sting me."" "Scorpion replies, "It would not be in my interest to sting you," ""since, as I'll be on your back, we both would drown."" "Frog thinks about this logic for a while and accepts the deal." "Takes the scorpion on his back, braves the waters..." "Half way over feels a burning spear in his side and realises the scorpion has stung him after all." "And as they both sink beneath the waves, the frog cries out:" ""Why'd you sting me, Mr Scorpion?" ""For now we both will drown."" "The scorpion replies..." ""I can't help it." ""It's in my nature."" "So what's that supposed to mean?" "It means what it says." "A scorpion does what is in its nature." "Take off the hood, man." "Why?" "'Cause you're kind and it's in your nature." "See?" "I was right about you." "Don't be so sure." "Jody's always right." "Where would you most like to be now, man?" "It doesn't matter where." "Come on, man." "If this shit was all over." "Er..." "Having a pint in the Rock." "You lack imagination, Fergus." "Think of something more..." "alluring." "Like what?" "Like... having a pint in the Metro." "Having two pints in the Rock." "Having a pint in the Metro and Dil's having a margarita." " Who's Dil?" " A special friend." "Oh, yeah." "We've got simple tastes, you and me." "Yeah, the best." "But you guys never get a break, do you?" " Do you?" " Oh, yeah." "We do a tour of duty and we're finished." "But you guys are never finished, are you?" "We don't look on it that way." "Often wonder how you do it." "It depends what you believe in." "What do you believe in?" "That you guys shouldn't be here." " That simple?" " Yeah." " Put that thing back on him, Fergus." " He's hot!" "Doesn't matter if he's hot." "Just cover the fucker up." "You've got no feelings, woman!" "You... shut your face!" " You're heading for trouble, Fergus." " OK, OK." "He's a good soldier." "I said shut the fuck up." " He believes in the future." " Is that right?" "Is it bad?" "Not bad." "Women are trouble." " Do you know that, Fergus?" " I didn't." "Some kinds of women are." "She can't help it." "Dil, she was no trouble, no trouble at all." "You liked her?" "Present tense, please, please." "Love her wherever she is." "I'm thinking of her now." "Would you think of her, too?" "I don't know her." "I want you to do something for me." "What?" "If they kill me..." "Don't think that way." "But they will." "As sure as night follows day." "They have to." "I want you to find her out." "Tell her I was thinking of her." "See if she's all right." "I don't know her." "Take her picture." "It's..." "Come here." "It's in my inside pocket." "Take the whole lot." "I won't need it." "I told you not to talk that way." "Go to Millie's Hair Salon in Spitalfields." "Take her to the Metro for a margarita." "You don't have to tell her who you are." "You just tell her Jody was thinking of her..." "Stop it." "Volunteer!" "We need you inside." "We've heard word." "They've used every trick in the book on him and he's beginning to talk." "You're gonna have to do it in the morning." "You OK about that?" " I'm a volunteer, aren't I?" " Good." "Beginning to have my doubts about you over the past few days." " Not the only one." " Shut up, Jude." "Better get some sleep tonight, Fergus." "Peter." "What?" "Request permission to guard the prisoner tonight." " You're crazy." "Don't let him, Peter." " Shut the fuck up, Jude." " What do you want to do that for?" " It would make me feel better about it." "Sure about that?" "Yeah, I'm sure." "OK." "You're a good man, Fergus." "Don't." "I..." "I'm sorry." "Help me." "How can I?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "Just help me." "Give me a cigarette." "I don't even..." "I don't even smoke." "Thought it was the right thing to do." " Go to sleep now." " I don't want to sleep." "Tell me something." " What?" " A story." " Like the one about the frog?" " And the scorpion." "No... no!" "Tell me anything." " "When I was a child..." " Yeah?" ""I thought as a child." ""But when I became a man..." ""I put away childish things."" "What does that mean?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "Tell me something." "Anything." "Not a lot of use, are you, Fergus?" "Me?" "No." "I'm not good for much." "Come on, stand up." "Turn to your right." "OK, step up." "One step." "OK, turn to your right." "Go forward." "Step up." "Now to the left." "I wish to say on behalf of the Irish Republican Army..." "Leave him be!" "Take the hood off, Fergus." "No." "I want to see a bit, please." "Please." "Don't make me die like an animal." "I'm glad you're doing it." "Do you know that, Fergus?" "Why?" "'Cause you're my friend." "And I want you to go to the Metro." "Stop that talk now!" "Hurling's a fast game, isn't it, Fergus?" "The fastest." " Faster than cricket?" " Cricket's in a ha'penny place." "So if I ran, there's no way I could beat you, is there?" " You won't run!" " But if I did... you wouldn't shoot a brother in the back." "Jody!" " You stupid bastard!" " What'd you say, faster?" " I said you bastard, stop!" " Gotta catch me first." "Used to run the mile, you know, four times around the cricket pitch." "What was that game called?" " Hurling!" " What?" " Hurling!" " What?" "Told you I was fast, man." "Don't do it." "Jody!" "All line up!" "Follow me!" "Over here now!" "Jude!" "Run!" "Fergus." "You're back on the bike, Tommy?" " How are you keeping?" " All right." "You'll notice I've asked you nothing." "That's wise, Tommy." "All right then." "I like being wise." "So what do you need, Fergus?" " Need to go across the water." " Do you now?" "Need to lose myself for a while." "Aye." "There's a man I know ships cattle to London." "We're closing." "You deaf?" " I'll see you tomorrow, Dil." " 'Night." " Do you want something in particular?" " Er, just a bit of a trim." "Come on." " Someone recommended you?" " In a way." "Who?" "Er... a guy I work with." "What's his name?" " Does the water not get to your nails?" " What's it to you?" "Nothing." " You American?" " No." " You're not English." " No." "Scottish?" "How did you guess?" "The accent, I suppose." "Oh." "What's it like?" "Like treacle." "Nice laugh." "There." "That should make her happy." "Who's she?" "Don't know." "Who is she?" "Hi, Dil." "Hiya, hon." " All right?" " Not so bad." " Yes?" "What'll it be?" " Bottle of Guinness." "Bottle of Guinness." " See that, Col?" " See what, Dil?" " He gave me a look." " Did he?" " I've just cut his hair, you know." " Yeah?" " So what do you think?" " Nice." "There." "He did it again." " I saw that one." " And what would you call that?" "Now that was a look." "Ask him to ask me what I'm drinking." "She wants to know do you want to know what she's drinking." "A margarita." "Now he can look." "Ask him does he like his hair, Col." "She wants to know, sir, do you like your hair." " Tell her I'm very happy with it." " He's Scottish, Col." " Scottish?" " Yeah." " What did he say?" " He agreed that he was." "And what do you think his name might be?" "I've no thoughts on the subject." " Jimmy." " Jimmy?" "Jimmy." "That's what he said." "Hiya, Jimmy." "Hiya, Dil." " Sing us a song, Dil." " Fuck off, Dave." "Come on, babe." "You know what I like." "Easy!" "'Ere, where d'you think you're fucking going then?" "Piss off, Dave." "Get off my case!" "Fucking cow!" "I fucking hate this violet tone." " Go on, get in there!" " Stop pushing." "This is the last time." " One run!" " Come on!" "So, Pat's a cricket fan, is he?" "It's not Pat." "It's Jim." "Yes, well, I don't actually give a fuck whether it's Jim, Pat or Mick, as long as you remember you're not at Lord's, all right?" "There you go." " So, I see you're a regular, sir." " Is that good or bad?" "Well..." "You get to say, "The usual, Col", things like that." "Here." " Let's call this the usual." " Thanks." " No, no." "It's on me." " Thanks very much." "You can take it out if you want." "Came to see her, didn't you?" "Listen, there's something I should tell you." "She's..." " She's what?" " She's on." "♪ I know all there is to know" "♪ About the crying game" "♪ I've had my share" "♪ Of the crying game" "♪ First there are kisses" "♪ Then there are sighs" "♪ And then before you know where you are" "♪ You're saying goodbye" "♪ One day soon I'm gonna tell the moon" "♪ About the crying game" "♪ And if he knows" "♪ Maybe he'll explain" "♪ Why there are heartaches" "♪ Why there are tears" "♪ And what to do" "♪ To stop feelin' blue" "♪ When love disappears" "♪ Don't want no more" "♪ Of the crying game" "♪ Don't want no more" "♪ Of the crying game ♪" "♪ Don't know what you said to make me love you so" "♪ I only know I never wanna let you go... ♪" " He's still looking, Col." " Persistent." " Good thing in a man." " An excellent quality." " Maybe he wants something." " I expect he does." " Ask him." " Ask him yourself." "So tell me." " Everybody wants something." " Not me." "Not you?" "How quaint." "How old-fashioned and quaint, isn't it, Col?" " You old-fashioned?" " Must be." " Got the money, Dil." " Fuck off, Dave." " You fucking promised." " Did I?" "You fucking did!" "Well, didn't you?" "Well, come on!" "It takes all types." " So who's he?" " He's what she should run a mile from." "Then why doesn't she?" "Who knows the secrets of the human heart?" "♪ As long as we're together, honey, I don't care" "♪ 'Cause you started somethin', oh, can't you see" "♪ And ever since we met you had a hold on me... ♪" "All right, good night." "You can't come in here, love." " Don't be like that." " You heard me." "Oh, got fucking grand all of a sudden, haven't we, eh?" " Talk to me, you stupid bitch!" " Piss off, Dave." "Hi." "Hi." "You forgot your bag." " Thank you." " Who the fuck's he?" "Jimmy." " It's him, innit?" " Maybe." " See, they get the wrong idea." " Cunt." " What was that?" " They all get the wrong idea." " Cunt." "Scrag-eyed dyke cunt!" " Charming." " What'll I do?" " Break his neck." "No, don't." "He's gonna take his foot off slowly, David." "Then you're to go home like a good boy." "You hear?" "Cunt." "Come on, honey." " You all right?" " Yes, thank you." "What was all that about?" "He wants me to 'perform' for him." " Perform?" " You know." "You on the game?" "God, no." "I'm a hairdresser." "He's getting up." "Can't leave me then, can you?" " You want me to ask you in, right?" " No." "Didn't say that." "But I'm not cheap, you know that?" "Loud, but never cheap." "Oi!" "You fucking dumb dyke carrot cunt!" "If you kissed me, it would really get his goat." "Now, if you asked me to meet you tomorrow, it would really drive him insane." " Where?" " Half-five at Millie's." "Give me that look again." " What look?" " The one you gave me in the Metro." "Darling, you shouldn't have." " What's that about?" " They're jealous." " Why?" " I wonder." "Now's the time you're meant to do something, isn't it?" " Like what?" " Make a pass or something." "Isn't that the way it goes?" "Must be." "Have you got a special friend, Jimmy?" " How special?" " Do you want one?" "Jesus Christ!" "Jesus." "That Dave?" "The things a girl has to put up with." "I'm frightened, Jimmy." "That's not like him." "Piss off, Dave!" "Tough guy, huh?" "Are you gonna be all right on your own?" "But I'm not on my own, am I?" "It won't hurt you to come in." " Would you like a drink?" " Yes, please." " What'll it be?" " Er, whiskey." "Yeah!" "Hey!" " Come on, Dil!" " Somebody out there." "Jesus fucking Christ!" "Hey, Dil!" " Oi, Stirling fucking Moss!" " It's Dave!" " Come on, Dil, talk to me!" " Sure, Dave." "Come on!" "Hey, Dil..." " Hey, they're my clothes!" " Take your clothes..." "Don't throw my clothes out the window!" "Fuck off back to Essex!" "Fucking mad!" "Don't chuck my clothes out!" "Take your fucking goldfish, too!" "My fucking fish!" "Murderer!" "Sorry." "How did he drive with his neck in a brace?" "Must be in love to manage that." "Doesn't know the meaning of the word." "Did he live here with you?" "He tried to." "Sit down, will you?" "What about him?" "He was different." "How different?" "As different as it's possible to be." "Tell me about him." "No." "Shouldn't I go?" "Yes." "No." "Did you do that to him?" " You want to know how I kissed him?" " Yes." " Are you jealous?" " Maybe." "That's good." "What would he think?" "He can't think." "He's dead." "In Ireland." "He was a soldier." "Went there like a fool." "Do you miss him?" "What do you think?" "I think you do." "You say that like a gentleman." " Do I?" " Like you're concerned." "You can't stay." "You know that?" "Didn't think I could." "Real gentleman." " Shouldn't you be in mourning?" " I am." "♪ There'll be bluebirds over" "♪ The white cliffs of Dover... ♪" " Look, Dil, I'm sorry." " Fuck off, Dave." "No, I won't fucking fuck off." " I said I'm sorry, didn't I?" " Yeah." "I heard." "You hear, Jimmy?" "I was only gonna ask her for a dance." "Shall we?" "♪ There'll be love and laughter... ♪" "Did he come here, too?" " Is this an obsession of yours?" " Maybe." "He did sometimes." "Did he dance with you?" "What do you want with me, Jimmy?" " I want to look after you." " What does that mean?" "Something I heard someone say once." " You mean that?" " Yeah." "Why?" "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me." "♪ The valley will bloom again" "♪ Johnny will go to sleep" "♪ In his own little room again" "♪ There'll be love and laughter... ♪" "You're not having me on, are you?" "'Cause Dil can't stand that." "No." "She does get very upset." "♪ Just you wait" "♪ And" "♪ See ♪" "One for him, too." "Drink." " What is this?" " I'm superstitious." "Drink." " Can't leave me now." " Ah-ha." "The thing is, can you go the distance?" " Depends what it is." " Depends on nothing." "In one." "What you thinking of, hon?" " I'm thinking of your man." " Why?" "I'm wondering why you keep his things." "I told you." "I'm superstitious." "Did he ever tell you you were beautiful?" "All the time." "Even now." "What do you mean?" "He looks after me." "He's a gentleman, too." "Wait just one minute." " Would he have minded?" " No." "You did know, didn't you?" "Oh my God." "Jesus, I feel sick." "Don't go, Jimmy!" "Oh!" "I'm sorry." "I thought you knew." "What were you doing in the bar if you didn't know?" "I'm bleeding." "It's all right, Jimmy." "I can take it." "Just not on the face." "You see, I'm not a young thing any longer." "Funny, the way things go." "Don't you find that, Jimmy?" "Never the way you expect it." "I'm sorry." "You mean that?" "Don't go!" "Say something!" "Jesus." "♪ This love may not be what we're looking for" "♪ Tell me what are we looking for" "♪ I'll understand it wasn't" "♪ Forget the future... ♪" "He's back, Col." "Hi." "Don't want any of those looks, Col. They don't mean much." " Stop it, Dil!" " No!" "Tell him to go fuck himself!" "She wants me to tell you go fuck yourself!" " I'm sorry." " Tell him to stop messing Dil around!" " Dil!" " Tell him it hurts." " I've got to talk to her, Col." " He says he's got to talk to you." " Come on, Dil." " Where?" "Tell him again, Col. Go fuck himself!" "♪ Until tomorrow... ♪" " Come here, darling!" " Hey!" "Hey!" "Off you go." "How much did that frame cost, Mr Franknum?" "200 quid, Mr Deveroux." "Well, your bloody Pat has just cost me 200 quid." "Sorry." "Well, sorry isn't gonna bring the bloody thing back, is it?" " Not in my experience." " No." " Off his wages." " Do you mean that?" "He wants to know whether I mean it, Mr Franknum." "I'm sure you do, Mr Deveroux." "Bloody right I do." "Well now, is that Pat's tart?" "Does Pat have a tart?" "She's not a tart." "No, of course not, she's a lady." "No, she's not that either." "Darling, never let the sun go down on an argument, as Jody used to say." "What are you doing here?" "Got your note." " So let's kiss and make up, honey." " Don't call me that." " Sorry, darling." " Stop it, Dil." "Apologies, my sweet." "That's more like it, dear." "Have a cuppa." "You're something else, Dil, you know that?" "You never said a truer word." "See, I was always best looking after someone." "Must be something in the genes." "Must be." "And the fact that you didn't know is basically the fault of yours truly." "And even when you were throwing up, I could tell you cared." "You could?" "Do you care, Jimmy?" "Yeah, sure I do." " You mean that?" " Yeah." "I care, Dil." "You crying?" "I'm tired and emotional." "Do it on your own time, Pat." "What?" "Whatever it is she does for you." "If I was her I'd consider that an insult." "You consider it how you like." "Just get the bloody tart out of here!" "Did you ever pick your teeth up with broken fingers?" "What's that supposed to mean?" "A simple question." " Come on, dear." " He didn't answer, honey." "Sorry about that, Mr Deveroux." " My, oh my, Jimmy, how gallant." " Shut up." " Made me feel all funny inside." " I said stop it." "Ask to meet me again, Jimmy." " Do you think that's wise?" " Nothing's wise." " I didn't mean to hit you." " I know that." " Kind of liked you as a girl." " Well, that's a start." " So I'm sorry." " So make it up to me then." " How?" " Ask to meet me again." " Will you meet me again?" " When?" "Whenever." "Tonight." " Good night." " See you later." " Do they know?" " Know what, honey?" "Know what I didn't know." "And don't call me that." "Can't help it - a girl has her feelings." "Thing is, Dil, you're not a girl." " Details, baby, details." " So they do know." " All right, they do." " Don't." " I shoulda known, shouldn't I?" " Probably." " Kind of wish I didn't." " You can always pretend." "Ah, that's true." "Your soldier knew, didn't he?" "Absolutely." "Won't be quite the same, though, will it?" "Are you pretending yet?" "I'm working on it." "There's Dave." " He knew, too." " Stop it, Jimmy." "Am I becoming repetitious?" " A little." " Sorry." " No, don't ask me in." " Please, Jimmy." "No." "I can't pretend that much." " I miss you, Jimmy." " Yeah?" " Should have stayed a girl." " Don't be cruel." "OK." "Be a good girl, go inside." "Only if you kiss me." " Now you happy?" " Delirious." "Hello, stranger." "You vanished." "What was it, Fergus?" "Did you blow the gaff on us, or did you just fuck up?" "Leave me alone, Jude." "No." "That's the last thing I'll do." " You never asked what happened." " I heard." " Eddie and Tinker died." " I know." "Maguire and me got out by the skin of our teeth." "No thanks to you." "What do you think of the hair?" " Suits you." " Aye." "I was sick of being a blonde." "I needed a tougher look, if you know what I mean." "Fuck me, Fergus." "Am I to take it that's a no?" "We had a court-martial in your absence." "They wanted to put a bullet through your head." "I pleaded for clemency." "Said we should find out what happened first." "So what did happen?" "He ran." "I couldn't shoot him in the back." "I tried to catch him." "He made it to the road and got hit by a Saracen." "So you did fuck up." "Yes." "But you know what the thing is, Fergus?" "No, what is the thing?" "You vanished quite effectively." "Became Mister Nobody." "You've no idea how useful that could be." " What do you mean?" " We've got some plans here." "And we'll need a Mister Nobody to execute them." "No way, Jude." "I'm out." "You're never out, Fergus." "Maybe you don't care about yourself, but..." "Consider the girl, Fergus." " The wee black chick." " Leave her out of this!" "Jesus, Fergus!" "You're a walking cliché." "You know we won't leave her out of it." "But I'm glad to see you care." "And I must admit..." " I'm curious." " What the fuck do you know, Jude?" "You fucking tell me, boy!" "She's nobody." "She likes me." "Oh, so I suppose a fuck is out of the question." "You keep your head down, Fergus." "No sudden moves." "And not a whisper to her." "You'll be hearing from us." "Keep the faith." "He your boyfriend?" "Lucky you." "Carnations." " What?" " He'd bring me carnations." " Oh, so I got it wrong, huh?" " Not at all, honey." " Don't." " OK." " Come on." "Come on." " Why, honey?" " You gonna tell me why?" " No." "What's wrong, Jimmy?" "You gonna tell me what's wrong?" "No, not here." "Are you gonna tell me what it is?" " Yeah, what is it?" " You know her, Jimmy?" "Jimmy, is it?" "Do you know me, Jimmy?" " Dil, this is Jude." " You following me?" "Yeah!" "Just checking." " Is he being nice to you, Dil?" " Ever so nice." "Aren't you, Jimmy?" "That's good." "I'm glad." " Young love, as they say." " Absolutely." "The younger the better." "Doesn't come your way much, I suppose." " Don't go looking for it, Dil." " Well, maybe you'll get lucky someday." "Bit heavy on the powder, isn't she, Jimmy?" " A girl has to have a bit of glamour." " Oh, absolutely." "As long as she can keep it." "Isn't that right, James?" "It's her, isn't it?" "What's her?" "She's the thing you had to tell me." "Kind of." "I'm sorry, you know that?" "I'm really sorry." " You see that, Col?" " Saw it, Dil." " Fuck it is what I say." " Yeah, fuck it, Dil." "Fucking men, Col." "Fuck 'em." "Fuck you, Jimmy!" "You could always make it up to her." "How?" "When a girl runs out like that, she generally wants to be followed." "She's not a girl, Col." "Whatever you say." "She went that way." "But you come with me." "So, it was you all the time." "Who'd you think it was?" "I thought it was Dave." "And who's Dave when he's at home?" "He's at home." " Should blow you away, you know that." " Yeah, I know." "I'm getting emotional, and I don't like getting fucking emotional!" "You understand, Hennessy?" " Yeah." "I understand." " Fuck you, too." "Fuck you." "Ah, leave him alone, Peter." "He's in love." " That right, Fergus?" "You in love?" " Absolutely." "And what's she like between the sheets?" " Definitely unusual." " And who is she?" "Just a girl." "You know what'll happen if you fuck up again, don't you?" " Aye, I do, Peter." " Good." " So, what do you think that is, Hennessy?" " A hotel?" "It's a knocking shop." "Très discreet, huh?" "He visits his ladies Tuesdays and Thursday nights." "And Saturday mornings." "That's his security in the car beyond." "Who is he?" "Doesn't matter who he is." "He's a legitimate target." "Thank God for that." " Trying to be cynical, Hennessy?" " Hope not." "Good." "So, what do you think?" "Whoever hits him will be hit, if those men are any good." " And I presume you can't get inside." " Right." " So it's on the street?" " Right." "Kind of suicide, isn't it?" "But then, I don't have a choice." "Och, you do, Fergie." "Of course." "I forgot." "Come on." "Rehearsal." "You keep your mind on your job, boy." " And then you'll leave her out of it?" " Aye." "Then we'll leave her be." "He's arthritic." "Takes him two minutes to get to the door." " And what if I say no?" " You know what." "Go." "Pardon me, young man!" " You were made for this." " Was I?" " Perfect!" " What happens then?" "We'll be on the other side." "We'll move when you do." "And what if you don't?" " Fergus, I think you don't trust me." " You may be right." "Stay late at your work tomorrow night and I'll bring you the gear." " Jude." " Yes?" "Who is the old geezer?" "Some judge." " Why'd you follow me, Dil?" " I was jealous, Jimmy." " You shouldn't be." " Why shouldn't I be jealous?" "Don't." "My make-up." "She own you, Jimmy?" "Yes." "She's from Scotland, too?" "Yeah, you could say that." "And you're not gonna tell me more?" "I can't." "What you doing, Jimmy?" "I don't know yet." "Do you like me even a little bit?" "More than that." "Come on, let's go for a walk." "Do something for me, Dil?" "Anything." "You'd do anything for me?" "Afraid so." "Have you got the keys to the shop?" "You want another haircut, Jimmy?" "No." "Come on, sit down." "You'd do anything for me?" "Anything." " No way." " You said anything, Dil." "A girl has to draw the line somewhere." " I want to change you to a man." " Why?" "It's a secret." "Would you like me better that way, Jimmy?" "Yes." " And you wouldn't leave me?" " No." " You promise?" " I promise." "Go on, then." " You want to make me like him." " No." "I want to make you into something new that nobody recognises." "I don't recognise myself." "No." "Better in the dark." " So it's true, then." " What?" " You like me better like this." " Yes." "No, no." "Dil." "Dil." "Come on." "Dil." "Turn round, turn round." "Baby." "What you doing, honey?" "Don't call me that." "Sorry." " What you doing?" " Try this on." " Why?" " For me." " For you." " Yes." " What we doing here, Jimmy?" " Look on it like a honeymoon." "You a handyman, Fergie?" "Take a pride in my work." "I sincerely hope so." "Tools of the trade." "And forget about the girl." "Dil!" "Dil!" "Dil!" "What the fuck are you doing here?" " I'm going home!" " I told you to stay in the hotel!" "I thought you were fooling me." " I thought you were leaving me!" " I had to go to work!" "I stayed all day in that hotel thinking every noise was you!" "Come on." "There's something you're not telling me, Jimmy." " Come on!" " No!" "I'm going home." " Dil!" " So tell me!" " I was trying to get out of something!" " No!" "Tell me everything, Jimmy!" "You..." "You got to forget you ever saw me, Dil." " You mean that?" " Yeah." "Stop it, would you?" "Give it over, Dil, for fuck's sake!" "I'm sorry." "I get nervous." "I've got this blood condition." "Just help me inside, Jimmy, and I'll be all right." "Did you hear what I said, Dil?" "Get my pills." " What pills?" " Prescription for my condition." "What condition?" "My condition." "Ennui." "Are you supposed to take that many?" "Only in times of extreme stress." "See, they all say goodbye sometime." "Except for him." "Are you all right, Dil?" "I will be." "Go on." "Goodbye, Dil." "Jimmy?" "What?" "Don't go like that." "I can't help what I am." "I knew you had a heart." "Dil, can I tell you something?" "I knew your man." "You knew which man?" " Your soldier." " You knew my Jody?" "Lifted him from a carnival outside Belfast." "Held him hostage for three days." "You knew my Jody?" " Are you listening?" " Yes." "Got the order to shoot him." "Before I could do it, he ran." "Ran into a tank and died." "Died?" "Did you hear me?" "You killed my Jody?" "In a manner of speaking." "It was you." "You should scream." "You should beat my head off." " You killed my Jody?" " No." "You didn't?" " I suppose I tried." " You tried?" "Don't you want to kill me?" "Bang!" "Don't leave me tonight." "Might kill me, too." "OK." "What the fuck?" "So tell me what you're doing, Jimmy." "I didn't really listen last night." "I heard, but I didn't listen." "That won't do you no good." "Dil knows how to tie a body." "I wondered why you came on to me like that." " When you gave me the look." " He asked me to see were you all right!" "See, I fix on anyone who's nice to me." "Just the littlest bit nice - I'm all yours." "Stop it, Dil!" "Just don't kick Dil and she'll be touched." "Be nice to her and she'll be yours forever." "See, I should blow you away, Jimmy." "But I can't... yet." " Let me go, Dil." " Why?" "I gotta be somewhere!" "So try and go then." "Where the fuck is he?" "Christ!" "Let me go, for fuck's sake, Dil, or they'll be here." "Let them come then." "Can't stay here, Peter." "Drive round once more." "See, I just want your company for a little while longer." " That fucker's dead." " No." "We are." "You don't know what you're doing, Dil." "I never did." " Shit!" "Give me the shooter." " What?" "You're crazy!" " Give me the fucking shooter, Jude!" " Peter!" "Peter!" "♪ I know all there is to know" "♪ About the crying game" "♪ I've had my share... ♪" "Do you like me now, Jimmy?" "Yeah, I like you, Dil." "Give me a bit more, baby." "A bit more." " More what?" " More endearments." " I like you, Dil." " Love me." " Yeah." " Tell me you love me." " Whatever you say, Dil." " Then say it." "I love you, Dil." "You do?" "Yeah." "What would you do for me?" "Anything." "Say it again." "I'd do anything for you, Dil." "And you'd never leave me?" "Never." "I know you're lying, Jimmy, but it's nice to hear it." "I'm sorry." "You stupid shit!" " Once was bad enough, but twice?" " You didn't knock, honey." " Dil!" " Get that thing off me, Fergus!" "What was that she called you, Jimmy?" " Fergus!" " What's Fergus?" " It's my name, Dil!" " So, what happened to Jimmy?" "I said get her off me!" "What's she gonna do, Jimmy?" "She gonna blow you away?" "Dil!" "Was she there too when you got my Jody?" " Dil!" " I asked you a question, honey." "Were you there, too?" "You sick bitch." " Dil!" " You was there, wasn't you?" "You used those tits and that arse to get him, didn't you?" "She was there, wasn't she?" "She was." "And she used her tits and that cute little arse to get him, didn't she?" "Yes." "Tell me what she wore." "I can't remember." "I can't do it, Jimmy." "He won't let me." "You won't let me, Jody." "You've got to go now, Dil." " Do I?" " Yes." "Now." " Am I in trouble, Jimmy?" " Not if you go." " Will I see you again?" " Yes." " Promise?" " Promise." " Where am I to go, Jimmy?" " The Metro." " Meet Col." " Yeah." "Say hello to Col." "You should have stayed at home." "I got the multivitamins and the iron tablets, hon." "Don't call me that." "Sorry, love." "The white one's are magnesium supplement." "Stop it, Dil." "I've got to keep you healthy, Jimmy." "I'm counting the days." "Two thousand, three hundred and thirty-four left." " Thirty-five." " I'm sorry, darling." " Keep forgetting the leap year." " Dil." "What am I supposed to call you then, Jimmy?" " Fergus." " Fergus." "Fergus." "My love." "Light of my life." " Please, Dil." " I can't help it." "You're doing time for me." "No greater love, as the man says." "I wish you'd tell me why." "As a man said, it's in my nature." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Well..." "There's this scorpion, you see, and he wants to go across a river." "But he can't swim, so..." "He goes to this frog, who naturally enough can swim, and he says..." ""Excuse me, Mr Froggie." " ♪ Sometimes it's hard to be a woman - "I want to go across the river."" "So the frog accepts the deal." " Scorpion hops on his back." " ♪ Givin' all your love to just one man" "Suddenly, the frog, "Argh", he feels a sting!" " ♪ You'll have bad times - "You stung me!"" " ♪ He'll have good times - "Why did you go and do that?"" " The scorpion looks at him and says..." " ♪ Doin' things you don't understand" ""I can't help it." "It's in my nature."" "♪ But if you love him" "♪ You'll forgive him" "♪ Even though he's hard to understand" "♪ And if you love him" "♪ Oh, be proud of him" "♪ 'Cause after all he's just a man" "♪ Stand by your man" "♪ And show the world you love him" "♪ Keep givin' all the love you can" "♪ Stand by your man ♪" "♪ I know all there is to know" "♪ About the crying game" "♪ I've had my share" "♪ Of the crying game" "♪ First there are kisses" "♪ Then there are sighs" "♪ And then before you know where you are" "♪ You're sayin' goodbye" "♪ One day soon I'm gonna tell the moon" "♪ About the crying game" "♪ And if he knows" "♪ Maybe he'll explain" "♪ Why there are heartaches" "♪ Why there are tears" "♪ And what to do to stop feelin' blue" "♪ When love disappears" "♪ First there are kisses" "♪ Then there are sighs" "♪ And then before you know where you are" "♪ You're sayin' goodbye" "♪ Don't want no more" "♪ Of the crying game" "♪ Don't want no more" "♪ Of the crying game" "♪ Don't want no more" "♪ Of the crying game ♪"