"What a looker." "What's the point of being a fox if the world can't see how foxy I am?" "What do they have that I don't have?" "What if Kristen Stewart has gorgeous hair?" "Scarlett Johansson has beautiful eyes?" "Or Angelina Jolie has luscious lips?" "Actually, that is a big list." "But you know what's even bigger?" "My desire to be as fantastic as them." "So look out, Hollywood." "Tonight, Megan steals her way to stardom." "Ugh." "Looking too happy again." "Better work on that frown some more." "What?" "A fox." "Aw, thanks." "I think so too." "Now I really have a reason to frown." "Nope." "Still not enough." "I must be seeing things." "Not for long." "What the cuss?" "You're crazy." "Yeah." "Crazy like a actress." "Good night, my babies." "Pucker up." "Finally, I can show the world the real me." "The fantastic Megan Fox." ""Big Hollywood movie"?" "You couldn't script this." "Did we get her?" "Thanks." "Give us our looks or we'll have to take character roles." " Yeah." " Mm!" "Stop her!" "Not her." "Her." "What do you mean someone stole their looks?" "What do I care?" "I can't tell these girls apart anyway." "Just send over the current hottie." "Wow, that was fast." " Are you from Fox?" " I sure am." "Then let's roll." "We're gonna make you a star, baby." "What a beauty." "Just stay on the close-up, will you?" "Because she's got the weirdest thumbs." "I'm the backpack, the backpack, the backpack." "I don't feel so well." "Hey, hey, hey." "What are you doing?" "I'm the backpack, the backpack, the backpack." "And now, it's time for Who Wore it Better?" "Ashley Tisdale wore this chiffon sundress at the KCAs." "Did Miley Cyrus wear it better at VMAs?" "How about Demi Lovato at the PTA?" "Selena Gomez wore it at a KFC, as did George Clooney Miranda Cosgrove, SpongeBob SquarePants Kings of Leon, Marmaduke, the Los Angeles Lakers Ashley Tisdale..." " You said her already." "Victoria Justice, Bryce Dallas Howard, this Styrofoam cup LeBron James, a dragon, Drew Barrymore, ice or Rihanna?" "And the answer is..." "What were the choices again?" "Yeah." "Ashley Tisdale, Miley Cyrus Demi Lovato..." " This has been Who Wore it Better?" "Your slipper." "Wondering who'd make a slipper out of glass?" "Come down to the Shoe Garden." "We're not afraid to make shoes just because they're ill-conceived." "A comfy slipper?" "Some would say satin." "We make them out of rubies." "Ow!" "They're so sharp." "Feet too big for normal shoes?" "We'll make you a pair out of lettuce." "There's no material we won't turn into a shoe." "We made this one out of stucco." "So come on down to the Shoe Garden." "Because stupid shoes don't grow on stupid trees." "Unless you're at the Shoe Garden." "And that's the constellation Orion." "See his sword?" "And those stars are his belt." "That's his belt?" "Yeah." "He's got a waistline of 36, heh-heh, light-years." "What a fatty." "Superheroes." "They're just like us." "They have to wait in boring lines." "See you in about an hour, Flash." "They have to go through detectors." " Empty your pockets, please." " I don't have pockets." " They have to walk their dogs." " You've smelled the same thing 50 times." "Don't you have super-smell?" " They get sunburns." " Uh-oh." "They get their eyes checked." "Remove your glasses and read the bottom line, please." "F. No, E." "And they have to obey the rules like everyone else." "Shazam!" "Heh-heh-heh." "Rules." "Dear diary, a new boy came to town today." "And he's exactly my type." " Tall, dark, and out of my league." " Play ball." " Kiss me." " I can't." "Why?" "Because you play by the rules?" "No." "Because my mask gets in the way." "Strike." "You've come to do us harm." "You're way off base." "I'll show you who's off base." "Is that necessary?" " This fall..." " Just make me safe." "I'll do my best." "...when fear strikes, love turns foul." "No, wait, wait, wait." "When you see a bat, make a run for home." "Oh, no, no." "Forget that." "Uh, when you give the sign, it's time to play." "Wow, these are awful." "No, no, no." "Hang on now." "The Umpire Diaries." "You're only in when you're out." "Yes?" "Right?" "No?" "We'll get this if it takes all night." "I don't care." "So I said, "If you're the farmer, then who's this guy?"" "I hope that came out of your nose." "I'm here all week, folks." "Try the veal." "Not really." "It's baby us." "Excuse me, buddy, I think your fly is down." "Yeah, I know." "I told him he couldn't go to Europe for the summer." "Why?" "Okay." "Deep breath in." "And out." "Let me re-phrase that." "Kanye West's monthly to-do list." "Buy sunglasses that make me look cool, and watch Cats And Dogs 2 in 3-D." "Put the "ye" part of my name first, so it sounds like people are cheering me." "Write a rap that rhymes orange with something that rhymes with orange." "Replace my GPS voice with my own, so I can always hear myself talk." "Yo, Kanye." "You looking good, dog." "Human, take me to your leader." "Oh, yeah, sure." "Hello?" "Is this the president?" "This is some regular guy you've never heard of." "Yeah, I have your personal number, because everyone on Earth does." "Anyway, a crazy space alien wants to talk to you." "Lucky for him, he found the guy who can do it." "I think you're making fun of me." "You think?" "Gee, where did you come from?" "The genius planet?" "I regret nothing." "Do you hate going all the way to the store for your magic tricks?" "Now you don't have to." "We'll bring the magic to you." "Select the trick you want, and within three to five business days hocus postage." "It's there." "No hidden fees." "No late charges." "Nothing up our sleeves." "Just a wave of the wand, a sleight of hand, and zim-zali-zip code you've got your trick." "Nettricks." "You'll be doing magic faster than you can say abraca-mailbox." "Animals are alive when leaving." "Safety not guaranteed." "Rabbits may have runny stool." "If pigeons peck at your face close your mailbox." "Manuals not included." "Ask if Nettricks is right for you." "Ta-da!" "Congratulations from the Tightrope Academy." "Ugh." "Whatever happened to law school?" "I'm Bear Grylls, and right now, I'm headed into the wild to show you how to survive with nothing more than your wits." "And of course, a 20-person emergency crew." "I think we're here." "If you find yourself stranded in a forest, don't panic." "I'm gonna show you how to find food in a pinch." "The forest is virtually teeming with wildlife." "One place to look for food is damp areas." "Like this rotten tree stump." "Look." "A snail." "Although, you probably shouldn't eat the shell." "I'm starting to get really hungry." "I've stumbled across this pile of fresh fish." "Be careful." "These were probably caught by a wild animal that could still be in the area." "Look." "I remember you from my childhood." "No, no, no!" "Oh, no!" "Fish are overrated, anyway." "If you want a real meal, try building a trap like this." "Got him." "Uh-oh." "No, no, no!" "Oh, no!" "Getting weaker." "Must eat." "Now, if you're really quiet you might be able to sneak up on some hamburgers." " What do you think you're doing?" " This is Camp Rock." "Not Camp Steal-Our-Hamburgers." "Wait a second." "Isn't that the guy from MAD vs. Wild?" "Yeah." "He's not enrolled here." "Wait." "I can explain." "No, I can't." "Look." "The van." "Come on." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Thank goodness." "We're safe." "No, no, no!" "They're at the top of their game at the bottom of the ninth." "Ugh." "These are not getting any better." "You gotta play the field till the seventh-inning smooch." "Ugh." "How long is this show?" "Ugh." "How long is this show?"