"Wait." "Only four of you showed up for practice today?" " Yeah. "The Unfantastic Four."" " Dad, filter." " That's pretty filtered right there." " Where is everybody?" " Vince and Vance have saxophone lessons." " Angel's babysitting." " Dong is here." " We see that." "Vanessa's in the school play with Michael," "Owen has scouts, and Steve moved to Virginia." "This is the fourth time we've had to cancel practice 'cause we didn't have enough kids." "It's because we have the worst practice time." "It's right after school." "No one can make it." "Half an hour later would have been perfect." "That's when I get off of work." " How old are you, son?" " All right, this has to change." "I am gonna go find Dick, and I'm gonna ask for a better practice time." " Hey, look." "There he goes now." " Yeah, good luck with that." "All right." "I figured this out." "I know why our guys aren't showing up for practice." "That's because we don't have any leadership." "We don't have any step-up kind of guy in the locker room." "We need a leader." "We need a captain." " Let's just vote for one right now." " I'll be captain!" "Dong, uh, you..." "You have to be a U.S. citizen." " I nominate Danny." " Me too." " What do you say, kid?" " Uh... no." "No." "No." "I'm set." "I don't..." "What are you... what are you talking about you're good?" "I don't really want to do it." "My grandson doesn't want to be the captain?" "My grandson?" "That bums me, pal." "That bums me." "Whoa, Cannon." "Are you okay?" "Hey." "Wait a minute." "I think I popped that thing back in." "That's fantastic, Dan." "I've never felt better." "Look at this." "Wait." "Oh, the bank machine is open." "Oh, yeah!" "I'm hitting the links." "And, you... we're not through with this captain stuff yet." "You got me?" "Not through!" "Oh, but look at this." "Gin!" "Season 1, Episode 9 "Massive Election"" "That passenger seat looks super comfy." "Yeah, for the last time, I'm the only one who sits in this cart." "Now, keep up." "There she is." "There's Terry." "H-how do I look?" " You're going to ask her out again?" " Yeah, man." "I'm wearing her down." "Why do you always put on a show for her?" ""A show"?" "Is that what you think I'm doing?" "What I'm saying is, I think she's looking for something more real." " I'm not being real?" " Well, not with her, no." "I think if you just show Terry who you really are, then she'd like that guy." "You know what?" "You don't know what you're talking about." "Okay?" "You don't." "So just step away from the vehicle, please." "Further away." "I never meant to hurt you." "A golf cart?" " Oh, yeah." " Really?" "Yeah, I need it for... official business as league president, you know?" "I put out a lot of fires." "So I guess you could see this as my totally awesome fire truck." " What's up?" " I need to talk." "Well, hop in." "Will you talk to me if I don't hop in?" " I will not." " Fine." "It's better to talk in the shade." " So, what's up, Buttons?" " Uh, first off, don't call me "Buttons."" "Secondly, I just need to change my kid's practice time by a half-hour so they can make it after school." "Well, I wish I could help you out, Terry, but you got to understand there are a lot of moving pieces to this." "For instance, the team that's in that slot... what about them?" "Look at it this way..." "You ever play Jenga?" " Jenga?" " Jenga." "It's a profound game." "If you pull out the wrong piece, then the whole thing collapses." "So all of this..." "All of it..." "And this, it's just..." "It's... it's Jenga." "All of... this..." "Really weird." "So can I move my kid's practice time or not?" "Why don't you just bring it up at the league meeting tomorrow night?" "That's all you got to do." "Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place?" "Because I like you and I want to spend more time with you." "And I wanted to maybe impress you with my new golf cart." " How'd that go?" " Not great." "Okay, then." "I'll see you, uh..." "I'll see you at the meeting, yeah?" " Yeah." " See ya." "Not a chance, Stan." "This cart's for presidents only." " Heads up!" " Watch out!" "Man, that's got to hurt." "You have no idea." "Dad!" "What are you doing?" "There are houses back there." "They don't know where the balls are coming from." " Kevin!" " That's Williger." "His house is, uh... a good 180 yards." " Seven iron." " That's impressive." "Out of balls." "Speaking of which, you got to have a talk with your son about growing a pair of those things." "He turned down being captain of the team today." " My Danny?" " Yeah, your Danny." "I mean, who does that?" "The vote wasn't even rigged." "Look, I don't want to be in charge, okay?" "I'm not like you guys." "I'm not a number one." "I'm..." "like an eight." "Eight?" "You don't see yourself in the top five?" "It's okay." "Look, Danny knows who he is, and if he doesn't wanna be in charge, that's... that's okay." " It's is not okay." " Let it go." " But it's not okay." " It's fine." "Okay, now I'm gonna go to work." "Do not listen to the cranky, yelly man." "All right?" "I love you just the way you are." "You, come with me." "You rang?" "Look, it is bothering the heck out of me that he is like this." "Okay, we've been here for six months." "He's kissed a boy once and been slapped around twice." " I'm really worried about him." " Right." "That's what I'm saying." "Okay, so here's how we're gonna handle this, okay?" "I'm gonna be the good cop." "I'm gonna be the supportive mom..." "Tell him I love him no matter what." "You... you have to be the muscle." "You have to turn this kid around and help him find his huevos, or else you'll have to deal with me." "Hey, buddy." "I love you no matter what." "Don't change." "Garner foursome, on the tee box." "You know, before I hurt my elbow," "I was making $4,000 a month from suckers like that." "Now let's see if we're back in business." "Come on." "Hey, Cannon, everyone else has one of those rolly things for their bags." " Can we get one?" " You are my rolly thing." "I see, you're making me be your caddy so I realize that it's better to be a leader in life than to be someone who carries bags." "You're pretty quick for a number eight." "So you just earned yourself a rock." "What..." "What do you mean?" "I'm gonna show you what I mean." "This is what I mean..." "A rock." "Don't lag." "Come on." "We're teeing off." "Half my team has conflicts, so I am asking to push my team's practice by half an hour." "Um, well, look, that sounds reasonable, but your request is gonna affect two other teams that practice after you, so..." "Well, I'll talk to those teams." "Not without legal authorization, you won't, and we got to vote on that, so all in favor?" "Okay." "One, two, three, four." "Motion denied." "I'm..." "I'm sorry, Terry." " But it's a Jenga world." " Well, that's..." "That's democracy in action is what that is." "Okay, next order of business..." "Election of the president." "Since I'm running unopposed, why don't we just vote this thing through, okay?" " All in favor?" " Wait." ""Unopposed"?" "Hold on." "So if I run against you and I win Can I change my own practice time?" "Theoretically, yeah, you could." "But, you know, theoretically," "A walrus could walk in here with a harmonica and bring the house down with some Billy Joel, so..." "Maybe some pretenders." "Look, the point is, it's probably not gonna happen." "I'm running against you." " Jenga, Dick." " Oh, that's not even legal, is it?" "Well, the league charter says she can campaign for the position until the next board meeting takes place." "Okay, fine." "Well, then, I'll just call for an emergency meeting on Monday so we can get this thing over with." "But I need a second that, so..." "I second that emotion." " Really, T?" " It's smokey." "You got one day to get your votes." "You need five." "Meeting adjourned." "Oh, uh, Merkle, Spiro, Bob, and Kat, you guys have early duty tomorrow at the field." "Boys... beers." "Hi." "Hi." "I'm..." "I'm Terry Gannon." "Yeah, that's a nice shirt." "That's a nice tie." "I'm Terry Gannon." "I'm gonna show you something." "I call this the big-shot show." "How do you hold your money?" "You got your singles on the top." "In the middle, you got the $20s." "And the big ones are down at the bottom, right?" "Fold it in half, rubber band, double twist, snap, gin." "Put it down." " Compare it." " You have a lot more." "Right." "Why?" "Because you work for me." "Leader." "Follower." "Yeah." "Yeah." "These examples are really easy to follow." "But, Cannon, I still don't want to be a leader, okay?" "It's just not who I am." "Well, you just earned yourself another rock, okay?" "Have some pride, will you, Spiro?" "We're not just raking dirt." "We're making dreams come true." " Dick, it's youth baseball." " Exactly." "And you won't make it to the majors with that attitude." " I'm an accountant." " Well, then be accountable." "God, Spiro!" "Get with it!" "Dick has a lot of nerve." "It's an infield, not a zen garden." "How would you like to dethrone the king?" "Ooh, baked." " Wait." "Those are 75 cents." " Put it on my tab, Kitty Kat." "I bet dick throws off your whole inventory taking chips like that." "By the end of the season, I'm down $14.50, and guess whose fanny pack that's coming out of." "Well, somebody should do something about him." "Maybe you could?" "Well, I'll try, but I'm gonna need some help." "I could get you that help." "I could also get you a sweet deal on a fanny pack." "I noticed you are not wearing one." "Okay, Kat." "Okay." "I have your four votes." "I just need one more." "It is totally possible for us to take over this league." "But can't you see it's pointless, Terry?" "It's hopeless." "Dick owns this town." "And Dick has hit on every mom in this league, yet I'm invisible to him." "What does that have to do with anything?" "I'm gonna have to freeze my eggs now." "See?" "This is what I am talking about." "We don't have to put up with this." "Shh." "Is that a golf cart?" "Damn, it's Dick." "Hey." " What do we have here?" " Nothing." "Yeah?" "He knows." "He knows you're trying to take him down." "Tell you what, guys, before you go down this road, you might want to think about what this league was like before I took over." "No scoreboard." "Gofer holes." "Willie the hobo living in the equipment shed..." "All cleaned up because of me." "Yeah, along with you being an inflexible jerk." "Oh, Terry, I am super flexible." "Whatever, Dick." "Me and my friends are gonna take you down." "Well, you need five votes, Terry, so how you gonna do it?" " I only see four." " Oh." "Well, it's easy." "See, you take out the weakest link, and the whole tower collapses." "Jenga." "Mnh-mnh." "That's my thing." "I'm watching you, Bob." "I'm sorry, Dick." "You know I don't care if you're a team captain or not." "I just..." "I just want to understand what's going on inside your head so that I can be there for you." " So what is it, buddy?" " I'm afraid to fail, okay?" "In front of my friends, in front of Vanessa." "I'll look like a jerk." "Okay, but right now, I'm safe." "A few days ago at school, we learned about this thing called "regicide."" "Do you know what that is?" "Something you spray on your tomato plants?" "No." "It's when a king gets assassinated." "Okay, no one wants to kill the underlings, but when you're the king, you got that big old target on your back." "Okay, I don't need that pressure." "I hear you." "And you don't." " And I completely understand." " Thank you." "The world is gonna eat that kid alive." "Turn up the heat." " You got it, baby." " Yeah." "All right, I'm gonna go work on Stan and his low self-esteem to get his vote." "Can I count on you to use your influence on Al as a backup plan?" "Darling, with those pecs, he was already on my to-do list." "With my money and my looks and your..." "Intelligence and sad past, those guys don't stand a chance." " My "sad past"?" " Own it, darling." "Let's roll." "I know what this is about, Terry." "I can't give you my vote." "Dick and I go all the way back to high school." "Is that how long he's been mistreating you?" "No." "Way before that." "Coach Al, I've been watching you." "Not as much as I've been watching you." " And you know what I know?" " What?" "You've come over here to use your feminine wiles to get my vote." "Let me ask you something, Lulu." "Is that all you are..." "A beautiful pawn?" "I'm so sorry." "I don't understand the question." "People have you pegged as some shallow floozy who's burning through her dead husband's money, but I see beyond that." "Behind those eyes, I see a delicate, sweet woman." "My question is, when are you gonna let her come out?" " You are not what I expected." " I get that a lot." "So, the reality is, when I am elected," "I'm gonna change my team's practice time, then I'm gonna step down and appoint you president." "No one is ever gonna tell you to shut up again." "What about my mom?" " Well, I can't control your mom, Stan." " Would you at least talk to her?" "We can discuss that." "I just think it's safer, you know, to play this big character rather than be this...." " Vulnerable little girl from Brighton." " That's why you're self-medicating." "You need to find a safe home, emotionally." " Oh, my." " N-not here." "Not yet." "Let me heal you first." "I like the way you make me feel, Terry." "I'm not used to being in the catbird seat like this." "Oh, take it in." "Take it in, Stan." "You know that plaque in the league office that has all the former presidents on it?" "Your name could be on that plaque." "A vote for me is a vote for you." "League president Stanley..." " What is your last name?" " Horchatta." "Hor..." "Horchatta?" "It's French-Indian- Scandinavian-Dutch-Irish." "Stan!" "Guess what arrived." "All-star-manager jackets." "Now wait for it." "Wait for it." "Oh, Mary, Mother of..." "It's beautiful." "Come try it on." "Feel that material." "That is all-star-team coach material." "Yeah." "Here we go." "You're playing with the big boys now." "You look like Tommy Lasorda Jr." " Stan, that's not a compliment." " No, yes, it is." "Danny boy, this is Derek Diggs right here." " This is my grandson." " Derek Diggs." "You can call me "D2," "D-squared," "Double D."" "Derek digs them all." "You see what I did there?" "I dig that, yeah." "Anyway, uh, Derek here's the biggest pharmaceutical rep in all of Southern California." "And I'm about to take down some of his cash." " So automatic price is $100 a hole?" " That's what she said." "Oh, hey, not in front of the kid, okay?" "All right." "Danny, when I put my hand out like this, it means give me the driver." "I know." "I just don't want to be here." " That kid just sassed you." " Give me the thing." " Don't throw it." " You caught it." "Don't throw it." "Oh, God!" "I threw that thing out again!" "Oh, God, that hurts!" "That's a shame." "That's a hell of a shot." "There's a $1,200 putt on the line, and you can't take it." "That's a DQ." "Unable to perform." " That's what she said." " Would you shut up?" "Look, I have an idea, all right?" "Why don't I take the shot?" "What?" "I mean, that's like $1,200." "You gonna stand up for $1,200?" "Why don't you pay me now?" "Save you a walk to the green." "You know what, Double D?" "I think you're kind of a jerk." "All right." "Cannon, I got this." "And there he is." "Hit it like you mean it, Nancy." ""Nancy"?" "You like your teeth, Double D?" "Leave the kid alone." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "By they way, I know you didn't hurt your elbow." "What a guy." "What a putt." " Cash, my friend." " Pay up." "Remember, Stan, a vote for me is a vote for you." "Look, Terry, I think you're great." "And Dick does sometimes take advantage of me, but this is all he has." "When he got divorced, heenent off the rails." "This league became his life." "It still is." "I'm afraid if I vote for you over him, he'll spin out again." "And I'm his friend, Terry." "I'm not gonna let that happen." "Well, think about this..." "If this is all Dick has, maybe it's not such a good thing." " You're a good man, Horchatta." " Hor-r-r-chatta." " Hor..." " Hor-r-r-r-r-chatta." " Hor-r-r-r... chatta." " Oh." "You're a good man, Stan." " She's a beaut, ain't she?" " Danny, hey." "Are you here to support your mom?" "No." "I'm here to support you, Stan." "Man, you'd look real good in this thing." "Okay, so, let's just get this over with, right, so we can all go home." "Anyone in favor of an inexperienced, uh, fragile pizza worker to be the next league president, go ahead and raise your hand." "It's a waste of time, guys." "Okay, so, one, two, three, four." "Anybody else?" "Nobody?" " Okay, meeting adjourned." " Wait!" "Stan, what the hell are you doing?" " Put your hand down." " No, Dick." "It's time I did something for my own good." "I vote for Terry." "I win!" "I win!" " Yes!" "I'm the big winner!" " Yeah!" "Kitty, Bob, Spiro, Dick crushed!" "We did it!" "I knew we could do it!" "It's a new day!" "You're dead to me, Horchatta!" "Thank you, Stan." "Let's be clear, Terry." "The only reason I voted for you is because Danny promised me the golf cart for a year." "It's Horchatta time." "Danny did what?" " Hey, what are you doing?" "Be careful." " All right." " Here." " What are you, crazy?" "I am crazy, with Gannon pride." "You won." "I won." "Danny won twice today." "Come on." "Hey, buddy, once again, ththat was a great putt today." "Oh, and that thing you did with Stan... it was genius." " You became a leader today." " Whoa, look." "Stop the clock." "All right, look, I only did those things because double d was being a jerk, and we do need a better practice time, all right?" "I know you guys want me to be a leader and a captain and to win at all costs, but that's just really not who I am, all right?" "I-I only did that stuff 'cause I wanted to get you guys off my back." "I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you guys, but that's how it is." "And, by the way, if being a leader is so important, then why aren't you guys doing any better?" " I've often thought that." " Kid's got a point, yeah." "And, P.S., I'm 11, and I know you guys worry about me, but I have a lot of time to think this stuff through." "Oh, buddy." "I shouldn't get so wrapped up in this stuff." "It's just I was raised to lead and win at all costs." "And so?" "And I do that without thinking how it affects other people sometimes." " And I'm sorry." " It's all right, mom." "I just heard a speech." "It was great." "And that speech was perfect for a team captain..." " Perfect speech." " Let it go." "Never!" "Hey, Prez." "Um, I just wanted to bring by the league files." "It's a tough job, so I figured if you have any questions," "I'd be, uh, happy to help out." "You know what, Dick?" "You should hang on to those." "Yeah, you want to set up your own filing system." "I get that." "Fact is, even though I beat you, you are the best person for the job." "So, you're... you're giving me the job back?" "On one condition." " I get to change my practice time." " Done." "Take whatever spot you want." "Thank you, Terry." "Uh..." "You're welcome, Dick." "So, maybe we should get a celebratory Margarita?" "Or maybe a beer or a scotch or..."