"All that damned shooting!" "For three months one hears nothing else: "boom, boom, crash"!" "Who's arriving today, Mr. Mayor?" "The King of Prussia." " Yesterday the king of Wurttemberg," "Today the King of Prussia," "Tomorrow Alexander of Russia!" "Then all rulers of Europe will be assembled in Vienna." "Heavenly!" " terrible." "It costs 530.000 guldens daily." "I don't understand it!" "Why does Europe's fate have to be decided in Vienna?" "Did we have to arrange it, Mr. Minister of Finance?" "A Congress in Vienna!" "Shooting and sneezing." "That's too much!" "I caught a cold last Tuesday, when I had to wait for three hours... in the pouring rain for Talleyrand." "Frenchmen are only punctual when women are concerned." " How would she know that?" " Memories from my youth, my child." "Good morning, your Excellency!" "I hope you had a good night's rest, your Excellency!" "What are your orders, your Excellency?" " Who's there, Pepi?" "In the little salon, the entertainment committee." " Let me listen to that?" "Certainly, your Excellency." "A little salon..." "Here you are, your Excellency, the entertainment committee." "Gesundheit!" "And why do the gentlemen throw the money out of the window?" "Why does Europe have to be governed from Vienna?" "Because Herr von Metternich has gone totally crazy with ambition!" " They don't understand me, Pepi!" " They don't have a clue" " Anybody in the diplomats' chamber?" "Certainly your Excellency, diplomats' chamber" "What is the idea with Metternich?" " Mon cher," "We're supposed to "faire l'amour," we're supposed to make love!" "Mais pas d'histoire, not world history!" "He arranges a Congress, but leaves us out of it!" "He arranges an important session, but at the same time a ball!" "But he alone makes politics!" "He's dangerous, the Metternich!" "Talleyrand!" "He understands me!" "(With Saxon accent) Say, my dear count, what's the news of Napoleon?" "He's been well trapped, he sits on the isle of Elba and... and can go fishing." " We in London have been informed differently." "Napoleon sits in Elba, right." "But he dreams... of returning to Paris!" " Good gracious!" "If Napoleon dares return... then goodbye Metternich!" " Wellington!" "Worries his head about my problems." "The news about Napoleon, I'll have to write to Dresden at once." " Have the letters been checked yet, Pepi?" " I'll inquire at once in the black cabinet." "To the royal Swedish ministry of state, Stockholm..." "To the royal Saxon secret cabinet, Dresden..." "To the papal envoy, Rome." "Go on with your work, a good day!" "What does your Excellency wish to peruse?" "Bavaria?" "Spain?" "Denmark?" "The king of Wurttemberg arrived yesterday." "He'll certainly write about his first impressions... and first impressions are always most important." " Do you have Wurttemberg?" "Yes?" ""When entering the city, a pretty Viennese girl came to my carriage... and offered me a bouquet of roses." "But just imagine:" "Behind that courtesy... was hidden a business interest." "It's obvious." "On the paper wrapping had been written:" "Vienna's best gloves are on sale at "The beautiful shepherdess."" "Now that's the sixth monarch that insolent girl has molested!" "Hasn't this been forbidden to her?" " Certainly!" "I've tried many times..." "But she doesn't listen to interdictions." "Not to mine." " Is that so?" "Another bouquet," "And that shepherdess will get to know me!" ""At the beautiful shepherdess"" "Do you speak English?" " Nein." "Parlez-vous français?" " Nein." "You only speak German?" " Yes, general." "Darling, can I see you tonight?" "Costs 2 guldens 50." "Can I see you tomorrow night?" " I'm sorry, we don't allow refunds." "When can I see you again?" "Whenever you need anything else." "I kiss your hand." " God's greetings." "Sorry." "Christel." " Here you are again!" "Christel, you look at everybody but at me!" "For how long have we known each other?" "For far too long." "Hand me that box!" "Christel, must we go on like that?" "I'll always look up to you like to a star." "And you'll never lower yourself to me." " You've your poetical day again!" "Don't make me nervous!" "Go away!" "No!" "Today you won't send me away!" "Today I've something to report to you!" "Something disagreeable!" " Don't give yourself airs!" "Herr von Metternich wants you to know:" "If you dare once more to impose your damned bouquet..." "On another monarch, then..." " Then what?" "If you look at me like that..." "What's that noise outside?" "What are they doing?" " The tribune for the Czar's entrance." "The Czar is coming?" " Yes, tomorrow!" "Oh, I'll get him some flowers!" "A huge bush!" " Is that so?" "Then everything's finished between us!" "So much the better." " Christel!" "Christel, listen to me." "Don't start any nonsense with the Czar." "He has such a beard." "First he'll have you whipped, then sent to Siberia." "I don't care!" "He'll get his flowers!" " He won't get them!" "He'll get them!" " He won't get them." "He'll get them!" " He won't get them." "I'm telling you for the last time:" "He'll get them!" "He'll get them!" " No, he won't get them." "He'll get them!" "A bomb!" "Your Majesty, were you frightened?" " Go away." "Assassination attempts, that comes naturally with my profession." "Let me pass through!" "We won't be all blown up." " It's only a bouquet of flowers." "I don't care, no one may pass through!" "I beg your Majesty's pardon, but I think we've had enough of assassination attempts for today." " My dear Bibikoff," "If only you wouldn't exaggerate so!" "Pardon, but your Majesty must be more careful in the future." "That's why we brought Uralsky with us." " We did?" "You've brought him!" "Yes, your Majesty!" "I've brought him so that he can represent your Majesty... in every dangerous situation." "I'll show myself to the Viennese people." "Out of the question, your Majesty!" " All right, in heaven's name," "Send Uralsky to the balcony." " Jawohl!" "Uralsky!" "Uralsky!" "With shako!" "Accept ovations!" "Get out!" "Tonight, at 7 o'clock, in your Majesty's honor, a gala opera performance." "Ach!" " Russian ballet!" "Good heavens!" "Russian ballet?" " Jawohl." "I didn't come to Vienna for that!" "Tonight, 7 o'clock, gala uniform." "Attention!" "Don't embarrass me!" "And the Czar of Russia" "Doesn't scratch himself behind the ear!" "Is that understood?" " Yes your Majesty!" " Prince Metternich's private secretary." " Let him come in" "Your Majesty, his Excellency prince Metternich wants you to know... that it hadn't been an attempted assassination after all." "And the bomb... hadn't been a bomb!" ""Vienna's most beautiful gloves are at the Beautiful Shepherdess"" "Please convey my thanks to prince Metternich." "Anything else?" " Your Majesty," "If your Majesty could put in a word?" " For yourself?" "No your Majesty." "For the bomb-thrower, your Majesty." "Your Majesty, she's a such good girl, such a pretty girl." "You don't see the like of it in all Europe." "Only in Vienna you can see such a girl." " Alright." "No your Majesty, it's not alright." " Where is she, the little bomb-thrower?" "It's awful." "In prison!" "And so for the reasons mentioned above, the delinquent... glove seller, Christine Antonia Weinzinger... is punished with 25 beatings by cane on her naked behind." "No!" "No!" "The execution will take place at once with a no. 11 size cane!" "Let's go." "No, no!" "I beg of you, let go of me!" "Let go of me!" "Oh no!" "No!" "Please, no beatings." "That tiresome Czar!" " Stop it!" "Let her go, she's been pardoned!" "Good gracious!" " That tiresome Czar!" "Ouch!" "Sends his people to Siberia, has them whipped..." " But that's not true." "I wish I hadn't started any business with the Czar!" " Why not?" "At your service!" " At ease!" "And don't put on that stupid face, Uralsky!" "And don't forget to cover your mouth when you're yawning." "Understood?" "You know your instructions, countess." "It'll be up to your beautiful eyes, to distract the Czar with more agreeable matters, making him forget the high politics." "You can rely on my beautiful eyes..." "Cher ami" "Sit down, you stupid dog!" "If you're in love and don't know where to go" "There's only one city, which has something no other city has" "It lies in the middle of the world's heart" "Once you've had too much to drink, you'll know at once" "Let us be a part of heaven" "Vienna and wine, Vienna and wine" " Pleased to see you" "You haven't seen anything like it on earth, it's so heavenly" " I haven't seen anything" "When one sits with a glass of wine in Vienna, and not alone, then you realize" "That must be a part of heaven, Vienna and wine, Vienna and wine" "Your health, gentlemen" "Those are Vienna's old stories" "Just ask a child of Vienna where you can hear them" "Go outside the city gates where the cherry trees are in blossom and every farmhouse will tell you that must be a part of heaven, Vienna and wine, Vienna and wine" "You haven't seen anything like it on earth, it's so heavenly" "When one sits with a glass of wine in Vienna, and not alone, one realizes" "May I ask for a small contribution for the music?" "Your servant, baron!" "Thank you kindly, count!" "I kiss your heart, your grace!" "But that's gold!" "Who's that?" " Oh, the Czar." "Is that the Czar?" "Your Majesty!" "Don't send me to Siberia!" " But Christel!" "We're friends, aren't we?" " Of course we are." "If your Majesty says so." "I beg of you!" " If you please, I must go home." "I'll drive you home." " No, thank you." "I prefer to walk." "So do I." " Honor us again very soon, your grace." "Kids, let's hear a smashing farewell tune!" "Christel!" "Christel!" "Not on the hand!" "I have a mouth for this." "But not for me, your Majesty!" "What does your Excellency wish to hear?" "Entertainment committee, diplomats' chamber?" "Servants' hall." "There you'll hear more about entertainment and don't need any diplomacy." " Here you are, your Excellency." "Servants' hall." "Go away with Wellington." "The only handsome devil... among those foreign princes is the Czar." "The way he exchanged glances last night... with the French countess at the opera." "Just great!" "That was nothing!" "Afterwards the little father, the Czar had been down at the wine gardens!" "There he sat and had a glass with a real Viennese girl." "A sweet girl, let me tell you!" "It had been the little glove seller, who threw the bouquet." "The girl was completely mad about the little father, the Czar." "He kissed her when they parted!" "That's fabulous, Pepi!" "Now the Czar will stay away from the Congress today." "That's the way I want." "He'll dance, and I'll march." "Certainly your Excellency!" " This is your business, Pepi." "Keep your eye on the girl, and help her a bit if necessary" "Understood?" " Certainly your Excellency." "As your Excellency justly remarked, that's my business!" "Just imagine." "I look closely at the gold piece... and suddenly I know who is my cavalier." "The emperor of Russia himself!" "We're not to be fooled!" "You can tell that to Frau Blaschke!" " How so?" "Frau Blaschke herself had seen it in the cards:" "A blond tall gentleman, of high rank..." "You'll be empress of Russia soon!" "I can prove it!" "There's a crown inside!" "Demoiselle Christine Weinzinger?" "Yes?" " If you please?" "What's the matter?" " Your carriage, your grace." "My carriage?" "My carriage!" "Where to?" " To your villa, demoiselle!" "To my villa!" "Am I awake?" "Am I laughing?" "Am I dreaming?" "Today I don't know where my head is" "Wherever I go, wherever I stand, people are laughing" "Today all fairy tales come true" "Today I understand everything that only happens once, that won't ever be repeated, and that's too beautiful to be true just like a miracle a golden light falls down on us from paradise that only happens once, that won't ever be repeated, and perhaps it's only a dream" "life can give this to you only once, maybe it'll be all over by tomorrow life can give this to you only once, because every spring has only one May" "Dear sun, world full of pleasure, you're as beautiful today as you had never been before all the sweet birds are practicing blissfully the sweet melody today luck calls from house to house: come, pick, and chose" "that only happens once, that won't ever be repeated, and perhaps it's only a dream just like a miracle a golden light falls down on us from paradise that only happens once, that won't ever be repeated, and perhaps it's only a dream" "life can give this to you only once, maybe it'll be all over by tomorrow life can give this to you only once, because every spring has only one May" "gloriously it blooms, splendidly it glows out of all the bushes like in dreams all the trees have grown blossoms" "Listen!" "Every girl has a word for you today; today I only blossom for you that only happens once... to the banker of the Imperial Russian finances, Baron Stenn." "Hotel The Red Sphere." "What do they write?" ""... and I ask you, on behalf of his Majesty the Czar, to transfer to demoiselle Christine..."" " Well?" ""..." "Christine Weinzinger, Hitzing, Kleine Allee 11," "1.000 guldens per month." "Signed, Bibikoff."" "Bravo, Pepi!" "You've done a splendid job." "His Excellency the chancellor's private secretary!" " Please let him come in." "And you wanted to be my wife?" " But I don't!" "Christel!" "Do you really believe the Czar's intentions are serious?" "Come in!" " The adjutant to his Majesty the Czar!" "Let him come in!" "Good morning, Mr. Secretary!" "Demoiselle." "I have the honor and the pleasure to announce his Majesty's visit this afternoon at 4 o'clock." "Don't trouble yourself." "I'll take care of everything:" "Russian tea, Russian music," "Russian atmosphere, everything Russian, Russian, Russian." "Original Russian." "Demoiselle!" "Good morning, everybody!" "There, you see how serious he is!" " We'll see about that!" "Do you want to imply that he won't come?" " He'll come all right." "But you'll be surprised how quick he'll be gone." "What do you know about love." "He'll stay!" " He won't stay!" "He'll stay!" " He won't stay!" "He'll stay!" " He won't stay!" "He'll stay!" " I don't feel in the mood to quarrel with you much longer!" " He'll stay!" "He'll stay!" " He won't stay!" "And he won't stay!" " From his Majesty the Czar, as a token of his supreme joy that he will be able to attend the Congress this afternoon for the first time." "I am delighted, my dear Bibikoff." "I am sincerely pleased to greet his Majesty today at the session." " I am also pleased, your Excellency." "We are pleased too." "Everybody's pleased, your Excellency!" "Tell the countess I've never let a beautiful woman wait yet." "Bibikoff!" " Your Majesty?" "Don't you notice?" " No, your Majesty, I don't." "They are trying to trap me, Bibikoff!" " A trap?" "I really don't notice anything." "You are an idiot!" " Yes sir." " At 5 o'clock an invitation by a lady." "At 5 o'clock the Congress sits in session." "They want to keep me away." "Herr Metternich wants to make his decisions without me!" "All the affairs with the ladies this afternoon will be taken care of by Uralsky!" "Uralsky!" "Sir!" " Do you notice anything?" "Nothing." " You're an idiot too." "Report for duty this afternoon at 4 o'clock." "Young Viennese girl," "His Majesty as fairy tale prince. 5 o'clock, drawing room snake... from the opera box, his Majesty as Don Juan." "Go for it at once!" "Yes sir!" " With the Viennese girl you'll be shy," "Dreamy, lyrical, romantic." " And?" "Don't be impertinent." "She's reserved for his Majesty." "In Russia people have been sent to Siberia... for lesser mistakes!" "You look at her, like this, you whisper to her, very sweet." "If she wants to kiss you, you've a cold, like this." "Understood?" " Is she pretty?" "None of your business, as they say in Vienna!" "I kiss your hand, gentlemen!" "(with Russian accent) If you open tap here, out comes hot water." "His Majesty the Czar!" "Alexander!" "I thank you for all your presents." "Your Majesty seems so very different today." " I am always the same." "Only, today I feel very shy, dreamy, lyrical and romantic." "If you please!" "Play away!" "Would you like some tea, Alexander?" " Yes, please" "Sugar?" " Sweet!" "Very sweet!" "Much sweeter!" "Your Majesty, your tea gets cold." "That's going too far!" "Your Majesty, the carriage is waiting." "Not the hand." "I have a mouth." "Not for me." " Alexander!" "Your Majesty?" "When will your Majesty come again?" "His Apostolic Majesty, the emperor Franz of Austria!" "Who's missing over there?" " Where?" "the chair on the emperor Franz' right is still empty." "That's the Czar's place." "He won't come." "He has something better to do today." " Is it true that we ourselves... have lots of chances with the Czar?" " My dear child!" "The Czar doesn't collect antiquities!" "Mr. Mayor, who is the gentleman who is in deep conversation with the Emir of Bukhara?" "That's the cleverest brain of them all." "Even Metternich can't fool him." "That's the King of Saxony." " (Saxon accent) You see, my good man, now I mean... the buttered beans of Vienna may be great, yes, yes but the coffee, go away!" "The coffee is much better at home in Dresden." "Play away!" "His Majesty the Czar!" "The Czar has just arrived at the countess's." " Very good, Pepi!" "I've got rid of that adversary for today." "And now I'll open the session." "Your Majesty, unfortunately, we'll have to deliberate without the Czar." "His Majesty, the Czar of Russia!" "The Royal Saxon cabinet, Dresden." "...the papal envoy, Rome." " Good morning!" "You looking terrible, Mr. Secretary." "All this because of this Congress." "All that running after the Czar." "These endless sessions." "And one ball after another." "It's really to..." "Your Excellency, everything's ready." "Here are the Czar's letters." "A woman's handwriting." "Let's see." ""Alexander!" "You've been here, once and never again." "Why?" "Are you angry with me?" Oh!" ""One day I have had a dream, you were going to make me happy." "And now I've been unhappy for such a long time and alone." the poor girl!" ""I want to see you again just once." "Christel."" "Christel, Christel." "Which Christel?" "Your Excellency, that can only be the girl from the glove-maker." "I see, the girl with the flower bouquet." "But I've expressly ordered, that you were to help the affair going." "That girl will be united with the Czar as fast as possible, is that understood?" "Certainly, your Excellency." "May I announce you, Mr. Secretary?" " Not necessary." "Oh, it's you!" "Pepi." "Yes, if you'll excuse me." "It's I." " That's nice of you, to look me up." " Did you expect someone else?" "You know who always visits me." " I know." "I know everything." "How dare you!" "That's his favorite armchair!" "That's his place." "And this is my place." "Every day he visits me." "Sometimes even twice a day." " Really," "Sometimes even twice?" "And for those hours when he isn't here," "He only thinks of me." "How do you know?" "Pepi, one feels these things." "You wouldn't understand." " So?" "Then let me tell you something." "Not once has he thought of you." "What?" " He flies from one woman to another." "You're the only one he doesn't think about." "That's a lie!" " A lie?" "You can convince yourself tonight, at the charity ball." "Pepi!" "Today's session must finish without the Czar!" "I'll solve the problem with Napoleon in my own way." "And tell the entertainment committee," "The Czar mustn't leave the ballroom." " Certainly, your Excellency!" "Bibikoff!" "In 10 minutes you'll fetch Uralsky." "I must go to the Congress." "They will decide about Napoleon." " Yes, your Majesty!" "Young man, his Excellency shouldn't meddle in my affairs!" "The Czar will sell kisses." "He won't be able to get away." "Please tell his Excellency that I know how to captivate men." "Start!" "I have as a special surprise the honor to tell you that his Majesty the Czar, in order to help the poor of Vienna, will sell kisses." "For 100 guldens apiece." "This time I've been trapped by Metternich." " I agree, your Majesty." "It is sometimes quite agreeable to have a proxy." "Very true, your Majesty." "Bibikoff!" "That's the girl!" " Yes, your Majesty, that's the girl." "I completely forgot about her." "Bibikoff!" "Uralsky is to stop at once!" " Yes, sir." "What the hell, dear count, look here, there are some sweet girls standing up there." "Shouldn't we go dancing a bit, too?" "Do any of the honored gentlemen have any objections against item 3 of the agenda?" "then write: "Napoleon's banishment for life has been voted unanimously."" "What's happened, your Excellency?" " Napoleon has landed in France." "Well that's... your Excellency!" "Your Majesty!" "I've ordered your Majesty's carriage." "Your Majesty will be departing tonight?" "Oh, your Majesty, I'm so happy." "The Congress is over, and now my girl belongs to me again." "Don't be disturbed" "I'll just help myself" "Good evening, baron!" "A glass of new wine perhaps?" "Your Majesty, an urgent message" "Excuse me" "Napoleon has landed in France!" " What?" "We have to leave at once!" "The carriage is waiting outside." "Not before the girl." " I see." "Well, Christel?" "It's been late." "I think we'll have to leave" "So, when will we see each other again?" " Tomorrow." "Tomorrow, Alexander." "Well, I only say goodbye, and thank you" "I kiss your heart, your grace." "Kids, Kids, let's hear a smashing farewell tune!" "Your obedient servant, baron." "And honor us again very soon!" "Ektinar"