"I was seeing the future of" "Medicine." "Plastic surgery?" "The wave of the future." "Tell me what you don't like" "About yourself." "My ass." "My eyes." "My knees." "Your knees?" "Everything." "Your right eye is half a" "Millimeter higher than your" "Left. i'll give you botox here" "And here. the breasts could go" "One size bigger. and finish off" "With some abdominal lipo." "Would you have to fix" "Anything?" "Liposuction right here." "Now, your boobs, lift them just" "A little bit. here... and here." "You are a model of physical" "Perfection." "But i can be better." "I've identified these as my" "Problem areas." "Diet?" "is that what we tell the 20 people a week who come in" "Here?" "we're in the quick fix" "Biz." "I think you could go up to a" "Double "d. " a "c. "" "Can i go bigger?" "ohh!" "I want to do whatever it" "Takes to be beautiful." "Beauty is symmetry, and you" "Don't have any." "Tell us what you don't like" "About yourselves. is that what" "You still ask all your consults?" "Well done. you remembered." "Yeah." "Do you remember us?" "Of course. uh, maureen and" "Marshall ayres from miami." "You first came to see us in '02," "Right?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah. real estate" "Brokers, right? "if you want" "Someone who cares, buy your home" "From ayres. "" "Ah!" "Yeah, we figured that getting" "Dual facelifts would help to" "Boost our business back then." "The housing market was so hot," "You know, you needed to do" "Anything you could to compete." "Image was everything, and" "Projecting success meant looking" "Younger." "Of course. and those are" "Ours, too, aren't they?" "Yep. oh, and..." "My calf implants. heh heh." "They still look great." "Don't they?" "Yeah." "Huh?" "So what brings you to los" "Angeles?" "You guys." "Ok, what were you thinking?" "Maybe a feather lift, or remove" "Some of the puffiness around the" "Eyes?" "We want you to, um..." "Reverse everything." "You guys sold us a bad bill of" "Goods." "So let me get this straight." "You want us to undo your" "Facelifts." "And take out the implants." "So you can look worse." "So we can look real." "Forgive me, but for your ages" "You both look pretty good." "Pretty good?" "i think they" "Look great. the real issue is" "Not about undoing anything," "It's about teaching you about" "The techniques that we use" "Today." "You don't get it. it's not" "About refining a procedure," "It's the whole concept." "Look, back in the 1940s," "Doctors recommended cigarettes" "To their patients to calm them" "Down. now look what we know" "About those cancer sticks." "It's no djfferent." "Nobody ever died from looking" "Too young or looking too" "Beautiful. if you want to take" "Them out, that's fine." "Do whatever you gotta, ok?" "But it's not gonna cost you any" "Less than it did when we put" "Them in." "We were hoping there would be" "No charge." "Our business has dropped" "Over 50% in the last 3 years," "Just because of how we look." "We used to be the faces you" "Could trust. but with this" "Tightness, we look like we're" "Just advertising our own" "Self-loathing." "Would you buy a house from" "Someone like that?" "We made the choice to get the" "Work done, but we were led to" "Believe that society accepted" "It. you know, the times they are" "A- changing, and if you guys" "Don't keep up, you're gonna get" "Swept away just like us." "Oh, sean. christian, would" "You grow up, for god sakes?" "!" "For god sakes." "Dr. cruz?" "Hi. i'm daniella creighton." "Your friendly drug dealer." "Oh, right, right, right," "Right." "Very cute." "Chicken?" "I think it's a turkey." "Uh, so what's the, uh, new" "Groundbreaking anesthesia i must" "Have?" "Sunedra. prospropofol" "Disodium. and it converts into" "Propofol once inside the body." "Ok, well, hit me. why is" "Sunedra better, in 10 words or" "Less?" "Uh, eliminates negative" "After-effects of general" "Anesthesia 89% of... time." "You just made it." "was that 10?" "Yeah, that was 10." "What is it, lizzie?" "We came as soon as we heard" "Your shriek." "Does this belong to you?" "I've never seen that turkey" "Before in my life." "Dr. christian troy. how are you?" "Daniella creighton." "Great." "Penkala pharmaceuticals." "Sean mcnamara. it's nice to" "Meet you." "It's nice to meet you, too." "I've got some great discounts." "Uh, two of our best clients" "Recently took early retirement," "So we're overstocked." "Really?" "anybody we know?" "Dr. chaiken and dr. gaines." "Chuck gaines?" "jesus, he's" "Younger than i am." "I think he got depressed." "He kept saying how plastic" "Surgery was over and he didn't" "Want to be the last one to turn" "The lights out." "So, will you take a look at the" "Clinical tests results and get" "Back to me?" "I sure will." "Even if it's a no." "I will." "It was really nice meeting" "You." "It was really nice meeting" "You." "Yeah, see you." "Ciao." "Wow." "Was she really coming on to me." "She was wearing a wedding" "Ring, liz." "Yeah, so?" "Married women have flirted with" "Me before. i mean, you know," "It's called bi-curious." "It's called buy my stuff." "You know, i don't think she" "Was here just to... sell me" "Drugs." "I mean, after 30 years of being" "A lesbian, i think that i have" "Some instincts about these" "Things, you know." "Fine. just be careful, ok?" "You only have one kidney left." "Oh, you turkey." "Wow. couples coming in to" "Have their plastic surgery" "Reversed. doctors like gaines" "Closing their doors. this might" "Be a trend we're looking at." "Jesus, one couple and a" "Retiree and you start to panic." "I'm just saying it might be" "Smart to diversify, maybe bring" "On a dermatologist, do more" "Fillers." "You ever eaten at lawry's?" "It didn't change its menu when" "The rest of the country decided" "To change its eating habits." "It stuck with what it did best," "Right?" "meats, potatoes, salads." "Plastic surgery will die when" "People begin to look at" "Themselves for beauty and" "Self-esteem. and a herd of geese" "Will fly up my ass." "* make me beautiful * * make me..." "A perfect soul," "A perfect mind," "A perfect face," "A perfect..." "Life *" "You're the perfect candidate" "For injectibles." "You a smoker, sean?" "No." "Never?" "No." "You drink, though. looking at" "Your face, i'd say you're a 3- scotch-a-night man." "This crepey area here" "Dehydration." "Nothing turns you into an old" "Man faster." "I can see i need some help." "What is your plan?" "Let's start with 15cc of" "Cosmoderm in the lip les." "Been feeling a little bitter and" "Judgmental lately?" "now no one" "Will know what you're thinking." "They'll just be drawn to your" "Positive, boyish charm." "10cc of radiesse, bye-bye," "Jowls." "10cc of lidocaine..." "And definitely some botox." "How amazing is that?" "Hmm. not bad." "Stay there." "I don't do this for everyone," "But you are so cute." "You don't feel the winds of" "Change." "Plastic surgery is just not cool" "Anymore. we're being called to" "A higher purpose. people just" "Feel wrong about self-mutilation" "For youth and prestige. and who" "Has 2 weeks' recovery time?" "It is so 2004." "So toxins and face fillers" "Are your higher purpose?" "What's yours?" "dare i ask?" "I haven't found it yet, but at" "The moment, i just mutilate" "People for youth and prestige." "Call me the face of 2004." "Did you have a chance to read" "The results from the clinical" "Trials?" "Um... no. i'm sorry, but i" "Have not." "Mm." "Listen, um..." "Dani." "Uh, i feel very comfortable" "Staying with the propofol." "I'm used to it, and, um..." "I'm just gonna stay with it." "Ok, then." "Well, it was nice to have met" "You." "Very nice to meet you, too." "You wouldn't want to..." "I don't know, um..." "Have lunch with me sometime," "Would you?" "I promise, no shop talk." "How do you think your" "Husband's gonna feel about that?" "We're... we're separated." "But you're right. i'm sorry." "I just-i have these thoughts..." "Fantasies, and i never act on" "Them, but... you just-you seem" "So" "Available?" "Beautiful." "Oh, god." "I'm so sorry. i'm just-i'm" "Going through a phase." "I don't eat lunch." "We always have a lot of yogurt" "Here. on the other hand..." "I'm very partial to dinner." "Roberta flack: * the first time" "Ever i saw your face... *" "I'm never gonna have a" "Facelift. botox maybe, but no" "Facelifts." "That's the reason you're only" "An anesthesiologist, lizzie," "And not a successful surgeon" "Like myself. ok?" "you're not" "Willing to go the distance." "You're dead wrong," "Smartypants." "The reason i became an" "Anesthesiologist is so that i" "Could switch my specialties" "Whenever i wanted. call me in a" "Year when you're standing over" "An empty operating table and i'm" "Making bank over the heart" "Institute at cedars." "Oh, look who's here." "Fancypants, huh?" "oh, you look" "Good. maybe too good. get an" "Extra hour's sleep?" "is that why" "You're late?" "Yeah, you look like a" "Different person, huh?" "Well, i went to see jill" "Jacobson yesterday." "I sampled from her injectibles" "Menu." "Why the hell did you go to" "Her?" "we can do anything she does" "And better." "Dermatologists specialize in" "That kind of treatment, and" "Frankly, they do a much better" "Job." "Fine, ok?" "but when the stuff" "Wears off, i don't want you" "Going back to her. if anybody" "Should be stabbing you with a" "Needle, it's me and not the" "Competition." "She's not the competition" "Anymore. i hired her this" "Morning." "Huh. you can't hire anyone" "Without my approval." "Don't worry, you'll love her." "You're having dinner with her" "Tomorrow night." "Christian troy?" "That's me." "Have a seat. we're running a" "Little behind today." "Hmm." "Hey." "Hmm. are they always this busy?" "No. it's usually worse." "So you come here quite a bit," "Then?" "Every 6 weeks." "Wow." "That must be awful." "No, it's not so bad. it's" "Just like getting a haircut." "I meant wasting your time and" "Money on something that doesn't" "Work." "I beg your pardon?" "You do realize that if you" "Only use injectibles, you'll" "Never be satisfied." "Sure, there's the high of" "Looking good when you first get" "It done. but then you start" "Seeing the spots the doctor" "Missed right away." "Like these lines, here." "Of course, the doctor's only too" "Willing to squeeze you in." "It's more money for her." "Thank you for seeing me" "Again." "Good to have you back." "Just right here i noticed." "Ok." "You can't argue with the" "Results, though." "If you're looking for real" "Value and long-lasting results," "The only thing you can rely on" "Is a qualified surgeon." "Take one." "Great." "Thank you." "Lois, what happened here?" "I thought we were overbooked." "They all got a better offer." "How dare you get rid of my" "Patients like that." "They left of their own free" "Will." "Only after you fed them some" "Bullshit line about the marvels" "Of plastic surgery." "Actually, it was an educated" "Decision based on years of" "Practice. of course, i didn't do" "A one-year course at a community" "College to become a beautician." "so, i'm sure that i" "Missed out on some of the finer" "Points." "Oh, i get it." "This is some kind of test," "To see what i'm made of before" "We start working together?" "Oh, we're not working" "Together, sweet cheeks." "See, my partner needed my" "Approval for you to come aboard" "And i came to tell you that i" "Don't approve." "Things are really bad, aren't" "They?" "Excuse me?" "The business. it must be." "Or you wouldn't look like such" "Shit." "I think you need my help." "I got a better idea. you come" "To my office, and i'll help you" "Fill out that cleavage of yours." "What are you, an "a" cup?" "Is that a problem for you?" "That and your pancake ass," "But, um, we could fix that, too." "Hmm. and, uh..." "What exactly would you do to my" "Ass, dr. troy?" "Why don't you just give us" "A quick look here, huh?" "This ass?" "There's a lot i could do with" "That. i could definitely take" "You up to a "c" cup." "Should we lock the door?" "Why, huh?" "all your patients" "Are gone." "Actually, there's probably" "Another 10 out there right now." "See, i can book every 15" "Minutes for 8 hours." "But since you're part of the old" "Guard..." "I guess you'll never get to" "Experience what i really had to" "Offer you. which was a future." "Tell sean i said thanks for the" "Opportunity." "I will. and if you change" "Your mind about the, uh, "c"" "Cup, you let me know." "Shit!" "Just a minute." "butterfingers." "Come on in. come in." "I'd keep your shoes on." "Ok." "Yeah." "It's beautiful here, huh?" "Oh, thank you." "So, would you like some wine?" "I- i got some white and some red" "That my husband brought back" "From napa. uh, he's an expert." "I, uh, think he knew more about" "Wine than he knew about me." "Oh, god, i didn't even ask if" "You drank. i just-i've heard" "That most lesbians are" "Alcoholics." "Oh. well, i must be in the" "Super minority. um, i prefer" "Red." "Me, too. isn't that wild?" "Yeah." "Oh!" "Oh!" "can i use this?" "O god." "God coming to the rescue." "Oh, good." "Is this your first date with" "A woman?" "Is it that obvious?" "Look, believe me, i'm not" "Just experimenting." "I'm like 75% sure that i'm gay." "75%, huh?" "hmm?" "I've, um... i've always been" "Attracted to women." "And, um... it leaves the fact" "That in all the years with my" "Husband, i never once had, uh..." "I know." "Hmm." "Well, bottoms up." "Oh, shit, i didn't mean that." "The" "Mmm." "What you doin'?" "I'm taking care of the other 25%." "It's-it's just, um..." "I've never..." "And..." "I just-i don't want you to" "Expect too much." "I don't expect anything. ok?" "I just want you to have a good" "Time. i don't care if you" "Orgasm. just trust me. it's" "Gonna be ok. all right?" "Ok." "I trust you." "Ohh..." "Ohh..." "Ohh..." "Ohh. ohh..." "Oh!" "ohh!" "ohh!" "Uhh!" "uhh!" "Sean, you might want to call" "Your little injectibles wench" "And tell her she won't be having" "A job here. i'm not budging on" "That one, by the way, so don't" "Tax you're already overworked" "Brain trying to come up with a" "Way to talk me out of it." "Yeah, i think we're on the" "Same page about that." "Wow!" "what happened to you?" "Too much filler." "You went back a second time?" "And a third." "A third?" "Yeah, laugh away, pal." "You're gonna be doing the" "Correction. 5cc of hyaluronidase" "Wherever she injected me." "So, fellas, i just got off" "The phone with a bernie" "Greenstein, who said that he's" "Representing the ayers, and they" "Are filing a lawsuit against us," "Claiming loss of income due to" "Misrepresentation and" "Malpractice." "Oh, my god, look at you." "Who'd you piss off?" "Don't." "Well, he's trying to get a" "Court order to see a list of" "Our patients, hoping that there" "Are more disgruntled folks." "Bernie greendick is an" "Asshole. ok?" "and everything he" "Touches turns to tabloid, uh," "Headlines, ok?" "so who gives a" "Shit?" "All right, could we put the" "Lawsuit aside and bring the" "Swelling down?" "please?" "You're wrong, sean. we have" "Plenty to worry about." "All people need to do is hear" "The name mcnamara and troy in" "Context with a lawsuit and we're" "Screwed." "Ow." "No, no, no, we can't worry about" "That. there's nothing we can do." "It's all over, anyway. the whole" "Pursuit of perfection is a" "Gigantic hoax. nothing changes." "We need to put up a fight," "All right?" "i'm gonna get a" "Feather lift and you're gonna" "Give it to me, and you're" "Gonna show the world what we" "Do here." "Uh. ow. and that would do" "What, besides take you out of" "Surgery for a week?" "You'll be the poster boy for" "Injectibles, ok?" "i'll be the" "Face of the business and the" "Future of plastic surgery." "All right, old man. you sure" "You're ready to do this?" "Hold on. i didn't get that." "Wait. um, can you say your line" "Again for me, please?" "What are you doing?" "It's ok. she's filming this." "I asked her to. we're gonna put" "The whole thing on youtube." "The surgery?" "Yes. it's pioneering, just" "Like we used to be. any luck," "This whole thing will go viral" "And the world will get to see" "Just how easy a facelift can be" "These days." "Oh, yeah, that'll work." "We get a half a million hits," "You wait-we'll go from being" "Sued to being stars again." "Yeah." "Look. i know it" "Makes you a little anxious" "To be on camera." "So just pretend it's not there." "Ok?" "Ok." "Ok. now say your line again." "And do it good." "Uh... are you sure you're" "Ready to do this?" "Absolu-absolutely, doc." "heh heh." "Let's operate." "Music." "Sweet dreams." "All right... 10... 9... 8... 7... 6..." "Can you feel it?" "i mean, the" "Energy is just electrifying." "And just think, in a few minutes" "We'll be at the end of an era," "And everybody who is anybody who" "No longer looks the way they" "Used to will be here tonight." "Speaking of that, look who is" "Here. it's dr. sean mcnamara." "Sean!" "Hello. don't you look" "Dashing." "Well, joan, when they told me" "That we'd be celebrating the" "Demise of plastic surgery" "Tonight, i knew i couldn't show" "Up in scrubs." "and this is your" "Date?" "Yes. this is my new partner" "Curtis." "Oh. i love your outfit." "Well, thank you. my daughter" "Actually picked it out." "Oh, hello. don't tell me." "Valentino, right?" "crocodile" "Collection?" "i have the same" "Thing in my closet." "Well, we should get going." "We're already late as it is." "Sean, wait!" "Ah!" "look who's here-the one" "Man who single-handedly" "Destroyed the fine art" "Of plastic surgery," "Dr. christian troy. so what are" "You doing, doc, trying to crash" "The party?" "No, i have to stop" "If anyone needs to be" "Stopped, doctor, i think it's" "You. maybe you'll learn from" "The lawsuit, huh?" "what do you" "Think about that?" "hey, doc!" "what" "Are you wearing?" "Oh. yeah, i got him right" "Here." "Oh, sir. i'm sorry. this is a" "Private party. you can't come" "In. your name, it's not even on" "The list. please step back." "Sean!" "wait!" "Wait!" "wait!" "Such a pretty pig, isn't he?" "Very pretty." "But do you think he's done?" "Only one way to find out. t." "Ahem." "Ooh." "Eew. a little overdone, i'd say." "Ladies, i am so sorry that" "You don't like your meal." "But he just refused to let me" "Tenderize him first." "Look-heh heh-we're" "Starving. now, there has to be" "Something that we can do." "Let's ask the man himself," "Shall we?" "Good idea." "tell us what you don't" "Like about yourself." "Everything." "How can you say that?" "Look at me." "look at me." "i'm on the wrong side of 40." "i got a... fake tit from a one-in-a-million cancer." "i can't lose the pounds like i used to. my hair keeps falling out. my entire livelihood is becoming the enron of surgical procedures. and now my closest friend, my... biggest supporter is leaving me." "oh, quit being so negative." "you sound like sean. when you show no fear, you project confidence and your life will always have the appearance of success." "and image is everything." "is it not?" "so... what can you do for me, then?" "have you thought about injectibles?" "they really are the future." "this is bullshit." "i'll get sean to do the surgery." "thanks so much for doing this." "are you kidding?" "i've been waiting 20 years to highlight all your flaws." "why, do i have a lot?" "well, for starters, you're pompous, self-centered, almost sociopathic in your complete disregard for anyone besides yourself. you have almost no talent in the operating room." "but you've managed to make an entire career riding on my coattails, all the while insisting that you're the one who is the real star." "for the longest time i actually admired you for how easily life seemed to bend to your will, how women fell at your feet." "and then i grew to hate you for how careless and single-minded you could be." "now i just think it's sad, because for someone who's so desperate to succeed and get recognition, i see just how lonely you really are." "when i'm gone, you'll have no one left in your life who cares for you. and... you will die alone." "am i really this ugly?" "don't be upset." "let your shortcomings and your flaws fuel you. let them push you further than you ever thought you could go." "when you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead, buddy boy." "i'm so sorry about what happened." "don't be. i'm not dead." "i have so much silicone in me, i stayed afloat for days." "don't worry about it. it's ok." "come on. i've had a really long day." "i missed you so much." "prove it." "kimber's voice: you couldn't save me, honey." "nobody could." "good-bye, christian." "don't worry, i'll never leave you." "who are you?" "you don't see the family resemblance?" "come give your dad a hug." "get out of my house." "you're not my father, you're a monster." "you can try and deny where you came from as much as you want, but you'll always be daddy's little boy." "uhh!" "aw, are you trying to rearrange my face, just like you're doing to your own on the surgery table right now?" "ahh. stop fighting who you are." "my darkness is a part of you." "you have my dna, christian. you have my dna." "although i have to admit, you did a lot of the heavy lifting on your own." "stop. sean, please, don't hurt me." "oh, it'll be over before you know it." "did you know that getting a facelift is the physiological equivalent of going through a windshield at 60 miles an hour?" "please, don't. please." "i can bring him out now." "we're done." "turn that thing off." "never let me give a patient a hard time about pain again." "ahh!" "ohh." "you know, under normal circumstances, i'd rub it in." "but because you did it for the business, i'm gonna increase your morphine regime and say thank you." "what do you think?" "oh, i thought you looked good already." "you didn't do this because of a lawsuit or because you took one for the team. you did it because you wanted a facelift." "i noticed it while i was shaving a couple of months ago." "nothing anybody else would see, but i do this for a living." "everyone gets older, christian. you know, and you're one of those lucky ones. you're only gonna get better looking." "hmm." "you know why i have relationships that never last?" "or why i trade in my car every 6 months?" "a. d. d.?" "a complete lack of a soul?" "no. i hate change." "terrified by it. i don't like it when things end. i like to end them myself, on my own terms." "it keeps you from getting hurt, huh?" "it also keeps me alone." "i just can't accept it when things are over." "when things are perfect, you know." "life is not perfect. life is messy. sometimes life is very messy." "we still talking about me?" "i'm talking about life." "you know, and wanting things to be perfect and getting disappointed over and over and over because it's never gonna be. then what happens?" "you end up being alone." "hmm. depressing." "i slept with daniella." "she's great, ok. she's absolutely great. and she's gorgeous and she's funny and... gorgeous." "mm-hmm." "you know, i think, ok, i've waited and this is my reward, right?" "we were making love and, uh, she's having this orgasm that's just... i know. and then she, uh... she what?" "i can't even say it. i can't say it." "ejaculated?" "like a fire hose." "are you serious?" "i almost drowned." "ha ha." "it's not funny." "it's pretty funny." "i mean, i told her, i said," ""it's ok. i don't mind it, i think of it as a compliment. "" "but the truth is- the truth is you're just like me. you want life to be easy and clean." "that's a damn shame." "who is it?" "it's me, liz." "can i come in?" "i don't think so." "please?" "look, i know i didn't call you, and it's only because- you were repulsed and disgusted." "no." "shocked." "thanks." "only because it was unexpected." "and it freaked me out, and i got scared. it's not you." "i thought that women who could, you know, you know... squirt." "yeah, squirt. i thought they only existed in lesbian porn." "but you are so real. and i don't want to give up on someone who i feel so connected to because of my ignorance." "you are wonderful. and i am so sorry." "hey, hon. who is it?" "um, it's dr. elizabeth cruz from mcnamara/troy. she's a client of mine, and we discovered that we're neighbors, so i told her that if there was any sample she wanted, she could" "just-she could stop by." "this is my husband edward." "hi. nice to meet you, dr. cruz." "nice to meet you." "whatever she's selling, can't go wrong." "right." "how about i walk you out?" "sure." "i'll be right back, sweetie." "ok, sure." "are you going back to your husband?" "i can't do it, liz. i can't." "i can't be gay." "you are gay." "maybe. but... at least with him i'm normal." "i don't do that." "you're gonna miss out on a lot of joy." "being like that doesn't bring me joy." "it's just not how i see myself." "it's just not... not how i want to see myself." "i'm-i'm so sorry." "me, too." "ahh, that's the kind of call you like to get from your lawyer." "i told you the ayers didn't have a case. the only thing they had is balls for trying to sue us in the first place." "too bad. they could have gotten a feather lift for half off instead." "mm-hmm." "you know, i think you getting that surgery helped our case." "so you're saying that that inflated ego of mine could have helped us for a change?" "i'm just saying you really puyour money where your mouth was. i admire that." "good." "to our continued success." "cheers." "yes, cheers." "you're not drinking?" "it's bad luck." "no, no, no. i'm still recovering. you know, i don't want to get all swelled up, look like i came from jill jacobson's office." "oh, yeah. that wouldn't be good." "hey, fellas, have you seen this?" "your surgery is one of the featured videos on youtube." "you're kidding." "wow." "mm-mmm. it's already a quarter of a million hits." "oh, look, it's over 300,000 now." "see that?" "i told you it would be a hit." "oh, yeah. look at that. over 40,000 comments." "i think people are trying to get in contact with us. is there anyway we can get our phone number on this website?" "this is like free advertising. i told you that lawsuit would be the best thing that happened to this business." "oh, you know, i'm not sure everybody else is as enthused about this as you are." ""what a barbaric thing to do to someone. " "does anyone really think plastic surgery makes sense anymore?" "this is disgusting. " "facelifts are so" "2004."" "oh, come on. it can't be all of them. give me this thing." "maybe i need to post a follow-up now that i'm fully healed." "what do you guys think?"