"In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." "You dirty, filthy beast!" "You horror!" "You're sacked." "Why do people go to Mass, Father?" "They get something out of it, yeah?" "Yeah." " Well, I got this and this, and I got the sack." "If I go tomorrow, what am I going to get... cystitis?" "It seems I've just been driving people deeper and deeper into poverty and despair." "You know that lovely dress that you wanted?" "I'm going to get you that." "I'm a betting shop manager who stole from her employer." "What kind of chance does that give me?" "She's dead!" "You weren't even going to tell me!" "They'll call the police..." "First thing they'll do is check when her pension was last drawn." "When was that?" "What do I do?" "Right." " Hello, Michael." " Hi, Andrew." "Come in." "She's upstairs, on the, er... up on the right." "Hiya, um, it's me." "I'm..." " It's just my sister." " Right." "Um..." "I'm being arrested." "Will you come and look after the kids?" "Thanks." "The doctor thinks she's been dead for three or four days." "Yeah, it's four days." "Yeah, Christina..." "Well, she couldn't bring herself to report it until now." " She's not been thinking straight..." " Sorry, Michael, can you just..." " just let her answer?" " Sorry, yeah." "When was her pension last drawn, Christina?" "This morning." "Was that you that did that?" "Yeah." "For on the night he was betrayed, he himself took bread... and giving you thanks he said the blessing, broke the bread and gave it to his disciples, saying," ""Take this, all of you, and eat of it,"" ""for this is my body which will be given up for you."" "In a similar way, when supper was ended, he took the chalice, and, giving you thanks, he said the blessing and gave the chalice to his disciples saying, "Take this, all of you, and drink from it..."" ""for this is the chalice of my blood."" ""The blood of the new and eternal covenant..."" ""which will be poured out for you and for many,"" ""for the forgiveness of sins."" ""Do this in memory of me."" "Good, that!" "Are you OK?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "What is it?" "I'm scared there's no heaven." "Death is just the end, and I'm scared of that end." "To face that end, you should be at your strongest..." "But it comes when you're at your weakest." "And I think that's a horrible joke for God to play on us." "There's a heaven." "And you'll be there." "You and Dad." "You think so?" "I know so." "Give us The Little White Bull." "Right." "Er..." "When did you first know you were called to be a priest?" "It was one weekend, 39 years ago." "I was 18." "I'd turned my back on school and church and faith..." "With good reason, I'd have said back then, but..." "I saw this falconer at work." "His hawk disappeared... didn't come back." "The crowd drifted away and there was just me and him... and every half hour or so he'd call out," ""Come on, boy," and then say to me, "He'll come."" "Total faith." "And then, after..." "I don't know, maybe four, five hours... he came." "God doesn't always come when you call him... but keep on calling, and he will." "I was a Catholic again." "Is there anything you'd like to say, Mrs Fitzsimmons, before we get to sentence?" "Um..." "Christina's asked me to say a few words, ma'am, if that's all right with you?" "Yes." "I'm Father Michael Kerrigan and I'm Christina's parish priest." "Um..." "You may not know this, ma'am..." "You may not believe this, ma'am..." "But social services are talking about taking Christina's kids away from her." "Apparently, they had this mental image of... kids running round a dead body for days on end and nothing could be further from the truth." "It's a cruel irony, ma'am, because Christina did what she did on account of those kids." "Every penny she has ever earned she has spent on those kids." "Everything she's ever done she's done because she loves those kids." "Ma'am, I ask you to treat this wonderful woman with as much leniency as possible and to do all in your power to ensure that those children stay with the mother who loves them." "Thank you." "I'll do all I can to help you with the children, Mrs Fitzsimmons." "As regards this case," "I'm going to grant you an absolute discharge on the count of preventing a lawful burial..." "But I cannot ignore the benefit fraud." "On that count, I sentence you to six months in prison, but I will suspend it for a year." "On both counts there are charges to pay and there's nothing I can do about those, I'm afraid." "They amount to, um... £55." "How will you pay it?" "Good question." "Hiya!" "Hello!" "Hiya!" "I've missed you!" "Missed you, too." "Come here!" "Ooh, look!" "Look what we've got!" "I just don't know how she could do it." "Leave my mother lying dead, like that?" "And I know what you'll say." "Father, I know." "She did it for her kids." "Doing such an awful thing, it just proves how much she loves her kids." "The more awful the thing, the more she loves them." "Well, that's bollocks, because I've got kids, and I love mine just as much as she loves hers and there is no way I would do that to my mother, and no shite, please." "No "it's what she would have wanted" shite, because she wouldn't have wanted to be left like that." "Yes, of course she'd want her to get her pension." "She'd give those kids anything." "She'd have given them her life!" "But, for God's sake, she'd want a little bit of respect after giving it." "Christina?" "So, there's no way you would do that to your mother?" " No way." "If you had no money?" "Hungry mouths to feed?" "No way." "Well, do you think she loves her less than you did?" " Yeah." " Yes." "I couldn't do what she did, so, yeah, I think she loved her less than I did." "What, even though she lived with her?" "I wondered when that'd come up." "She let our mam move in with her because it suited her." "Free childcare, a couple of bob towards the rent." "Yeah, Mam got something out of it and the kids kept her young, but she got plenty out of it, too." "I'm going." "I've paid Jimmy's dinner money up to the end of the week." "Lisa's got athletics after school tomorrow." "She's lost her kit." "Thanks." "Bye." "I'm sorry." "Really sorry." "You've started?" "Vernon's coming home." "Is he well enough?" "We think so, yes." "Vernon?" "Last time we met, you said how well he was doing." "Yes." "Yeah." "Then why send him home?" "Precisely because he's done so well here." "He's ready for it." "Is it money?" "No." "He's the least unwell." "We've got somebody who's profoundly ill and we've got no bed for them." "I mean, but... "least unwell"..." "I mean, that doesn't mean "well"." "So, Vernon is still ill, yeah?" "Yeah." "Then why send him home?" "We have to." "But, Helen, she can't cope with him, physically." "We have taken that into account when we've drawn up the care package." "Shall we take a look at it?" "I'm ashamed of the way I reacted, Father." "No, no, not at all..." "I didn't think anything bad..." " No, I am." "The head suggested uniform 15 years ago, the previous head, and they still all came in their frocks... as I knew they would." "They want to dress up, and the poorer they are the more they want it..." " Their child a princess for the day." " Yeah." "Yeah." " So, I'll write to them." " You don't need to do that." "I'll insist this time that they keep it simple." "Plain and simple." " Yeah." "It's their child's first Holy Communion," " not My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding." " Yeah." "Am I too late?" " For Confession?" "No." " Yeah." "Not what I expected." " No?" " No." "I expected it dark." "A wee little shaft of light." "A few specks of dust spinning in it." "You've not been for a while, then?" "No!" "Right." "I'm Michael." "Roz." "How do you do, Roz?" "How do you do, Michael?" "Cat got your tongue?" "No." "No, I'd just sooner listen for a while, you know?" "Christ is with us... sharing our pain." "This'll remind us of his presence." "I'm going to kill myself, Michael." "What?" "Why?" "Do I look good?" "Yeah." "Yeah, you do." "Ted Baker." "Kurt Geiger." "Agent Provocateur knickers." "Chanel perfume." "I want to make a good impression on the slab." "Well, whwhy do you want to kill yourself?" "I'm an office manager, and... over the past eight years I've stolen..." "£232,648... and in a week or two, for reasons I'll not bore you with, my boss is going to find out." "What did you spend it on?" "Some of it was on me... but I'm a gambler, and most of it went on machines." "I know this trick." "The silent trick." "No, it's not a trick." "I'm... genuinely lost for words." "You could ask me how I'm going to do it." "How are you going to do it?" "I thought about standing in front of a train... or throwing myself off a highrise block... but I'd look a right mess on the slab, wouldn't I?" "So it's pills and booze." "When?" "Tonight." "Do you have a family?" "It's a bit below the belt if you don't mind me saying so, Michael." "I'm sorry." "Two boys. 15 and 16... and a girl, 19." "Husband?" "You might call him a husband." "I prefer "sick, twisted gobshite."" "Do you believe in God?" "I think it's about a thousandtoone that there's an afterlife... but it's the only chance I've got, so I'll take it, thanks very much." "You get a lot like that, yeah?" "Yeah." "How do we start?" "Is it just, "Bless me, Father," and all that?" "If you like." "OK, bless me, Father... for I have sinned." "God knows how long it's been since my last confession." "I've had other men... . but only when I found out he was having other women." "And I stole 230odd something thousand off... my employer." "Is that it?" "Yeah, well, there's other stuff!" "Nothing special, though." "If this was Match Of The Day, that'd be the stuff you'd see..." "The men and the money." "And are you sorry?" "Not about the men, no." "As for the money, I'm... only sorry I got caught." "It's not good enough, is it?" "No." "I have to be truly sorry for you to absolve me, right?" "Well, II don't absolve you." "It's God who..." "Please don't kill yourself." "Thank you." "If it's shame, you can live with the shame." "Have you been there?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I have." "Were you suicidal?" "Yeah." "Over?" "Things I did when I was a young man." "Was it worse than stealing £232,000 or whatever off people that trusted you?" "Much worse." "Much worse." "How do you cope?" "I atone." "I spend my life atoning for it, and I just hope that when I die," "I'll..." "I'll have atoned enough." "Promise me you won't kill yourself, promise me, and I will show you how to atone." "I can't." "Then promise me you won't kill yourself today, promise me you'll come back in two or three days' time and I will make you want to live." "Promise?" "Yes, I promise." "Will you join me in the Lord's Prayer?" "Yes." "Yes, I will." "Our Father, who art in Heaven." "Hallowed be thy name..." "Thy kingdom come." "Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven." "Give us this day our daily bread." "And forgive us our trespasses." "As we forgive those who trespass against us..." "Hiya, Mam." "'It's Beth." "It's Mam's birthday!" "'" "'Phone her on her landline, you prick.'" "All right." "'Hello?" "'" "'I was beginning to think you'd forgotten!" "'" "Nah, I just haven't had the chance till now." "How are you?" "You all right?" "Yeah, I'm all right..." "Just been very busy today." "You having a nice time?" "Come on!" "The Karaoke Kid!" "Anyway, still to come is the raffle, and Father Michael is going to draw that for us immediately... after the bingo!" "Eight and six, 86..." "All the twos, 22." "'You have no messages in your mailbox.'" "'You've reached Father Michael Kerrigan." "'I can't get to the phone at the moment." "'If you'd like to leave a message and your phone number," "'I'll get back to you as soon as possible." "Thanks.'" "'It's Helen Oyenusi here, Father." "'You're probably fast asleep, so, never mind." "'It's just that Vernon wanted a word, didn't you, Vernon?" "'If you play this in the morning, maybe you could phone him, Father." "'You know what he's like." "'Doesn't believe a word his mother tells him 'but everything you say is gospel." "'No pun intended, Father.'" "Phone him again." "He's in bed, Vernon." "He's not." "They won't let him pick up the phone." "Who won't let him?" "You know who." "Can I phone the crisis team, Vernon?" "No." " You're holding a knife, Vernon, and I'm scared of what you might do." " They're not coming in here." " Not scared for myself." " I know you won't hurt your mother..." " They're not coming in here." " I'm scared of what..." " They're not coming in here!" "Don't phone!" "I have to." "I won't let you hurt yourself." "Don't phone them." "Do not phone them!" "Hello?" "It's Helen Oyenusi here." "Hiya, Vernon." " Go away." " We just want to talk." " I will not let you in." " We're here to help you, Vernon." "But I will do this before I let you in!" "We're here to help..." "Now go!" "The police are coming, son, we have to let them in." " No." "We'll let them in and we'll let the crisis team in and they'll..." " No." "Give you something, everything will be fine." " You're only feeling like this..." " Noone's coming in." "Because it's your first night" " away from the centre..." " Noone's coming in." " Noone's coming in." " Hey, Vernon, it's me." "Andrew, Andrew Powell." "Go away." "What are you doing with the knife, Vernon?" "I'm protecting myself." "There are people who want to do me harm, so I'm protecting myself with this knife." "I don't care." "I'm not going back in there and I'm not going to talk to them." "Just let me talk to him." "I'll see to it, all right, you got me word, all right?" "Noone's going to harm you, you need put down the knife, mate." " Open the door..." " I don't want to do it... let me in, I'll tell you what, we'll go through there, sit down nice and calm and talk it through." "Let me go!" "I'll see to it that no one hurts you mate, all right?" " All you got to do..." " No!" " .." "Is put the knife down," " open the door for me..." " No." "We'll go through to your living room, sit down, talk about things nice and calm, like, yeah?" " No." "Is your mam there, Vernon?" " Yeah." " Right." " Put the knife down, please." " Get out." " Put it down." " Get out now!" "If you don't put the knife down, I will have to spray you." "No." "No." "Don't spray him, Dawn!" "Get out of this house!" "Don't spray him, Dawn, he's sick!" "Put the knife down, or I will have to spray you!" "Drop the knife!" "I can't see!" "Armed police!" "I can't see!" "Armed police." "Put down the knife or I will fire!" "I can't see!" "Armed police!" "Put down the knife!" "Put down the knife or I will fire!" "You stupid bitch!" "Vernon, Vernon!" "In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit," "Amen." "The grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the Communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all." "Her daughter Christina is with us today along with her beloved grandchild Lisa, and we remember all of them in our prayers, and, finally, we remember Vernon Oyenusi who was so tragically taken from us last night..." " What?" " .. and of..." "You haven't heard, Father?" "No." "And we ask Almighty God to ease the grief of his mother," "Helen Oyenusi, whom many of us have known since she first came here four or five years ago." "We remember all of them in our prayers." "How did it happen?" "I don't know." "Well, where is she?" " His mother?" " Yeah, yeah!" "Hospital." "The General." "Is she hurt?" "No." "He's there." "The morgue." "What happened?" "He got sicker and sicker." "II phoned the crisis team." "He wouldn't let them in so they phoned the police and the police gassed him and shot him." "God!" "Why didn't you phone me?" "I knew you were in bed." "I'd phoned earlier and you didn't answer so I knew you were in bed." "They won't let me see him." "They say you can, but I can't." "Yeah..." "All right, just..." "I won't be long." "I'm afraid not." "Evidence." "Have mercy on Vernon Oyenusi, Lord." "Forgive him his sins and grant him eternal rest." "Amen." "God bless you, Vernon." "This lady's a police liaison officer." "I've told her I do not want one." "I will get all the help I need from my priest and my church." "The police have done enough for now, thank you very much." "Helen needs somewhere to sleep tonight." "We've still not finished with the house." "She can stay with me." "And the Chief Inspector has asked to see her." "Yeah, I'lll'll come with her." "Thanks." "Bye, Helen." "Bye, Father." "Yeah, bye." "They let you see him?" "Yeah." "He looks so peaceful, Helen." "We were happy in Granby." "Vernon loved it there." "Lots of friends, lots of laughter... but his dad wanted somewhere better, and "somewhere better" meant fewer black faces... so we moved... here... and conversations suddenly stopped when Vernon got to them." "People laughed at jokes and wouldn't repeat them to him." "He got sick." "His dad couldn't cope with it." "The man responsible for the sickness couldn't cope with the sickness... so he left, and the sickness got worse... and worse." "Now it has killed him." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "That way." "The body of Christ." "The children were a credit to you all." "Their appearance, obviously, er, but more importantly, their behaviour throughout the entire Mass..." "And finally, I have to mention one person without whom today wouldn't have happened..." "Miss Pickering." "Miss Pickering?" "Lisa, would you?" "Apparently, um, this is the 20th first Holy Communion celebration that Miss Pickering's organised, so..." "Miss Pickering, on behalf of us all, thank you." "Thank you!" "Helen will have questions, yes." "Why Vernon was discharged from the centre will be one of them," "I'm sure." "As will why police shot dead a boy who wouldn't harm a fly." "The officer who used the spray says she did so because she feared for Mrs Oyenusi's safety." " As does..." " That's not true!" "That is what she says, but of course, every statement, every piece of evidence will be thoroughly tested..." "When can I see him?" "The post mortem's tomorrow." "As soon as that's over." "Thanks." "What happened?" "Policeman did it." "That night." "Couldn't you have fixed the chain?" "For God's sake!" "She's grieving, vulnerable, alone..." "Couldn't you have fixed the bloody..." "I'm sorry." "Thanks for this." "You still off the sugar?" "Yeah, four days now." "Puts the crucifixion into perspective, doesn't it?" "So, what happened?" "I got back late." "Knackered... and the phone rang." "Helen Oyenusi about Vernon." "I'd have picked up, but... seeing them earlier in the day gave me an excuse not to, so I didn't pick up, and a few hours later he was dead." "And if you'd have picked up?" "I don't know." "I might have spoken to him, you know, realised how bad he was, gone galloping round there on my white charger and saved the day." "And you might not." "Yeah." "I just feel as though I should tell her, you know?" "What good will that do?" "Well, undeniably it will..." "Look, she needs you, Michael." "And she needs to have total faith in you." "I mean, why would you destroy all that just to clear your own conscience?" "It's not that." " No?" " No!" "You lose a loved one suddenly, unnaturally, you want to know everything, Peter." "Every detail." "People, they..." "People try and hide it from you, thinking it too painful, but how dare they?" "You've lost a son... nothing can be worse than that." "And I'm going to be helping her in that quest, Peter." "The police, they'll tell her lies, we'll expose those lies." ""Total truth, please, officer"... and I can't do that while I'm hiding an inconvenient truth of my own..." "That, had I acted, her son might well still be alive." "I know." "Yeah, but... what she doesn't know won't hurt her." "'It's Helen Oyenusi here, Father." "'You're probably fast asleep, so, never mind." "'It's just that Vernon wanted a word, didn't you, Vernon?" "'If you play this in the morning, maybe you could phone him, Father." "'You know what he's like." "'Doesn't believe a word his mother tells him 'but everything you say is gospel." "'No pun intended, Father.'" "Hello again, Michael." "Hello again, Roz." "May I?" "Yes." "How are you?" "This is not my going away outfit so... no immediate panic... but I'm still going to do it, I'm afraid." "When?" "Soon." "All right, go on." "Sorry?" "You said you'd give me a reason to go on living." "Well, if I said that, it..." "Well, you did." " If I said that, it was arrogant of me, I'm sorry." "But I could suggest something." "Go on." "It'll take guts." "I've got guts." "You lost most of that money on the machines?" "Yeah." "Those machines in the betting shop?" "Yeah." "The more you lost the more you chased those losses?" "Yes." "Tell the world." "What?" "I want you to tell the world what those machines have done to you, Roz." "I'm killing myself because I'm afraid it's going to make the local paper and you want me to tell the world?" "Yeah." "There are four betting shops in Hallcross Road." "No bank, no post office, no chemist, but four betting shops." "Why?" "Why four, when everyone round there is skint?" "Those machines, Roz, that's why." "It's not just you, it's everyone." "You're not a criminal, you're not a villain... you're a victim." "I don't think my boss would see it that way." "Why did you steal that money?" "The machines." "Who got that money?" "The machines." "Tell the world." "If you don't tell the world, it's a guilty secret that's going to be revealed anyway." "If you do tell the world, it's a campaign, and it's your reason for living." "I'll go to prison." "Not immediately, and not forever." "What did you do?" "Others will come forward, Roz, with stories very similar to yours." "We'll get together, and we'll stick together until there's not one machine left in Hallcross Road." " What did you do?" " Promise me you'll think about it." "I promise." "What did you do?" "Promise me you won't do anything until you've come back to see me again." "I promise." "What did you do, Michael?" "I'm here to listen to you, Roz, not..." "You said that you'd done something worse than... stealing £200,000." "What was it?" "I've done two things worse than that." "One of them's too recent, too raw... and, er..." "And the other?" "I, er..." "Who do you think Jesus confided in?" "Peter with the poker up his arse?" "Judas?" "No." "Mary Magdalene." "She'd been there, done it, bought the Tshirt." "She understood." "I..." "I treated young women very badly." "When?" "When I was 18, 19." "Not all young women, just the ones I had sex with." "Why?" "Because they let me have sex with them." "It was 40 years ago and I could live with it then, but... 40 years ago, the only good woman there'd ever been was the Virgin Mary cos she'd never done it with anyone, whereas if a girl did it with a boy, any boy," "well, she was filth, and if she did it with a boy like me, a boy in whom every last bit of selfesteem was well and truly banished, well, she was less than filth..." "She was scum, and you can treat scum any way you like." "Have you seen any of them since?" "Yeah, in here every day." "I sometimes think that I'll track them down and I'll apologise, but I don't think I could... or should." "Only you know the answer to that, Michael." "Do I?" "Yes." "You should do what your conscience tells you to do." "Hello, Helen." " Hello." " Father." "Trish is on her way." "OK, good." "Would you like to see what we've got?" "Please." "This way." "This is, um, a log of every call, text and email we got about Vernon." "Would you like it?" "Yes, please." "There'll be more, but we'll pass them on, as well... and these are some photographs taken throughout his time with us." "On the wall, there's some of his... artwork." "I'm so, so sorry!" "I am so, so sorry, Helen." "Please say you forgive me." "There's nothing to forgive..." "You didn't want to send him away from here." "I'm here to say thank you, Trish." "Thank you for making him so happy." "He loved it here and that was down to you."