"Ah!" "Time for my lunch appointment." "Sorry, sorry." "No time for autographs." "Not right now." "Thank you." "Oh, Benny, this is the good life." "What more does an alley cat need than good food and good friends?" "Mm-hm." "Huh?" "Excuse me, Benny." "Be sure to give the waiter our usual tip." "Ha, ha!" "Wow!" "Whoo!" "Ha-ha!" " Ohh!" " There you are!" "Hey!" "My old pal Griswald." "You know, I'd love to chat but... love is calling." "This flea collar you sold me ain't working!" "Hmm." "Really?" "Let me take a look at it, my dear friend." "I'll fix it in just a second." "Ah, there it is." "Now, you'll have to excuse me, I'm in a rush." "Thank you!" "You're gonna be nothing but bird food when I'm done with you and that's saying something, cos I hate birds!" "Oh, man, I really hate birds!" "Whoa!" "Come back here!" "Aaargh!" " You can thank me later." " How dare you!" "Bye-bye." "They call me TC." " Oh!" " It's short for Top Cat." "That's very clever." "I'm Trixie, which is short for..." "The future Mrs Top Cat?" "You're funny too." "Too bad I have to go to work and too bad I don't take anyone from the alley." "I wasn't joking." "I think you've stolen my heart and I'm usually the one who does the taking around here." "Oh!" "Is that why he's so angry?" "Now, where were we?" "Huh?" "Oh, Benny, my boy!" "Hey, TC." "Oh, Benny, I am in love!" "While you were out playing Romeo, the waiter realised we were freeloading and he chased me away." "The worst is, I'm still hungry." "Smells like you're making your famous fish head, bottle cap, boot stew." "I just made my best batch yet." "Perfect!" "Benny?" "Omicer Dibble!" "What can we do for you today?" "I've got a call from the Chez Snooty about two freeloading cats." "Oh!" "That is terrible!" "How could a crime ever be committed in this city with the brave Omicer Dibble around?" "Cut it, TC." "I'm up for an important promotion and I want to make sure you don't mess it up." "You offend me, Omicer Dibble." "Whatever you do, be sure to stay away from Carnegie Hall." "I'm talking too much." "I'd better go." "Carnegie Hall?" "Violinist Laszlo Laszlo is performing tonight at Carnegie Hall." "I love Laszlo Laszlo!" "He used to be a janitor and he still cleans up after every show." "Among the many expected to attend is the Maharaja of Peekajoo... who's well-known for giving away rubies as tips." "Oh!" "Benny!" "Those rubies are the answer to all our problems." "Trixie'll finally go for an alley cat like me, when we're no longer living in the alley." "But I like living in the alley." "Ah!" "B..." "I..." "N..." "G..." "Uh-oh." "Must be TC." "I'd love to go another round but TC's calling." "I gotta go." "Promise me I'm the only girl in your life." "Yeah." "Of course you are." "We'll be together forever." "Hey, you promised me a romantic picnic in the park!" "Honey, I was just getting up to get you your present." "Close your eyes and I'll give it to you." "Oh, Fancy Fancy, you're the best!" "Fancy?" "Aagh!" "I'm warning you for the last time:" "stop copycatting me!" "TC's calling." "We'll finish this later." "Choo-Choo, Spook..." "Fancy Fancy..." "Brain." "Everybody's here, TC, except for Benny." " You're Benny." " Oh, yeah!" "Choo-Choo, turn that off." "Now, men, listen up." "The Maharaja of Peekajoo is in town and that means his rubies are in town." "And one of those things will be returning to Peekajoo without the other." "But, TC, it says here that Omicer Dibble is the Maharaja's police escort." "He'll never let you near his rubies." "You're right, Choo-Choo." "Which is why I will not be attending tonight's performance." "Er... then how's he gonna get close to the Maharaja?" "I will leave that up to..." "The Arabian oil king, Alley Kat!" "Hey!" "Where's TC?" "Stay close to me, Mr Maharaja." "There's some shady characters in these parts." "For that tip, Omicer Dibble, I'll give you a gift." "No, thank you." "Just being an honest officer of the law is all the reward I need." "Wow!" "Did you see the size of that ruby?" "Poor Maharaja, having to carry all those heavy priceless stones wherever he goes." "What do you say we lighten his load?" "Uh-oh." "The concert's, like, sold out, TC." "How are we, like, gonna get inside now?" "Er... we could steal somebody else's tickets." "Hold it!" "My dear Brain, we are not common cat burglars, we're con men!" "Which means we live by a code." "We only steal from people who deserve to be stolen from." "Outta my way, you jerks!" "You make me sick, all of you!" "Like him." "The name's Strickland." "I bought tickets online." "Oh, yes, Mr Strickland." "Is the rest of your party here?" "I am my party, nitwit!" "I bought the seat in front of me, the one behind me, the one on my left and the one on my right, so I don't have to be anywhere near nosey, annoying, obnoxious people like you!" " Tickets, please." " What do you mean, tickets?" "I thought they collected them at the door." "Yes, sir, but for extra special VIPs like yourself, we have a complimentary kerbside check-in." "Yeah, that's right." "I am a VIP." "I bet I'm the best-looking VIP you ever saw, too!" "Uh... of course." "I'll be back but momentarily with a golden chariot to bring you to your seat." "Uh... good." "Gentlemen, who wants to see a show?" "Hm?" "Hm?" "Hm?" "Where's that golden chariot to take me to my seat?" "Chariot?" "Beat it, weirdo!" "You can't treat me like this!" "I'm a VIP!" "Agh!" "Mm, now that was a very brief show, boss." "Never mind the concert, Trixie." "Now you, let's move it!" "TC, how are we gonna get past Omicer Dibble?" "Don't worry, Benny, my boy, he has some pressing business to attend to." "Candy, programmes, souvenirs!" "Candy, programmes, souvenirs!" "I'll buy a programme, young man." "Hey!" "This is for the zoo!" "Candy, programmes, souvenirs!" "Three dollars for a candy bar, ma'am?" "That sounds reasonable." "Candy for three dollars!" "Do I hear four dollars?" " What?" " Four dollars!" "Do I hear ten?" "Ten dollars!" "Do I hear 20?" "Candy for 50 dollars!" "Going once, going twice... 100 dollars!" "If the Chief finds out about this, I'll be fired." "Excuse me, sir." "I need to tend to some hooligans." "I'll be right back." "Is this seat taken?" " Actually..." " I am Sheik Alley Kat." "And this is my associate, Shabby Sheik." " My name is the Maharaja of..." " Of Peekajoo!" "We met during the thingamabob at the what's-it-called, hosted by who's-his-face." "The coronation of Princess Gilmar at the Royal Gardens hosted by His Highness Sir Kingsley Featherstone Xll?" " That's the one!" " Funny." "I don't remember you in any of my pictures." "Do you mind if I cross-reference you with my photo library?" "Hey there, Maj, what's that doohickey?" "I own a tech company and this is a prototype for our latest product, the Maharajaton 5000." "It's a phone, camera, MP3 player, clock, microphone, flashlight, portable fan, pencil holder, paperweight, hairdryer, hoverboard, suitcase..." "A suitcase?" "For what?" "So you can carry it wherever you go." "It also reminds me of important appointments." "Attention." "The performance is about to begin." "Yeay!" "Oh!" "Such beautiful music." "He's not so bad." "I wouldn't be surprised if he missed a note." "How dare you?" "Laszlo Laszlo never misses a note." "I would stake all of my rubies on it!" "I'll take that bet and offer you uh my friend Shabby Sheik here!" "First-rate best pal and servant to the stars." "Does he do Windows?" "Windows Vista?" "Sure." "Whatever that is... he does it!" "Deal!" "Everything's in place." "Right, Benny?" "Sorry, something in my eye." "What was the question again?" "Are the guys in position?" "Oh, oh, right." "Of all the completely unexpected things to happen." "Laszlo Laszlo missed a note!" "Sheikh Alley Cat, I am so very ashamed and embarrassed." "I've given all of my rubies away as tips!" "Huh?" "Look, don't uh..." "don't worry about it, Maj." "We have to be going, anyway." "But I'm enjoying the concert, TC." " Come on!" " Please, Sheikh Alley Cat," "I insist you take the Maharajaton 5000 in place of the rubies." "You'll find it much more valuable." "Why?" "Does it turn into a bag of rubies, too?" "Hiya, Omicer Dibble!" "Benny?" "Which means this must be Top Cat!" "Please, Omicer Dibble, let's handle this like adults, huh?" "There goes my promotion!" "Top Cat!" "Come back here!" "Hey, TC, come back here!" "Are you trying to get me fired?" "Benny!" "Hold on, Benny, my boy!" "Why, you..." "Aagh!" "Thanks a lot, fellas." "Now I'm never gonna become chief." "Omicer Dibble, I didn't know you cooked." "Chief!" "Not chef!" "That's why I've been working overtime, to impress the Chiefwho's retiring." "But now I'll never get the job." "Omicer Dibble speaking." "Omicer Dibble speaking." "Oh, hello, Chief." "I imagine you saw the paper." "You didn't see the paper?" "Yes, sir!" "I understand!" "Woo-hoo!" "I'm going to be the new police chief of New York City!" "Yeah!" "You're welcome, Dibble." "If it wasn't for us, there'd be no crime for you to fight and you'd never have gotten the promotion." "You can give us your first pay cheque." "How much is that?" "Well, the Chief didn't exactly offer me the job." "He just said, "Show up at the station for an important announcement"." "What else could it be?" "Finally!" "I won't have to put up with you cats ever again!" "Ha, ha!" "Honey, it's me!" "You can buy that boat you wanted." "And the flat screen TV and the swimming pool." "Hee hee!" "Can you believe our very own Omicer Dibble is going to be chief of police?" "We should throw him a party!" "But..." "TC, shouldn't we wait for Dibble to get back first?" "I really don't see why that's necessary." "Dibble, as you may have heard, I need someone to take my place as police chief." "Someone who has experience, someone whom I can trust, and someone whose voice is slightly higher than normal." "I understand, Chief." "Someone who was born on December 18th, who enjoys fly fishing, tuna fish sandwiches, and who keeps a lucky penny in his right shoe." "It's for all these reasons and more that it's my privilege to offer you, Omicer Dibble the first chance to meet the new police chief," " Lou Strickland!" " What?" "Hello, Dibble." "I understand we have the same birthday." "Lou doesn't have much police experience, but he is my son-in-law and needed a job." "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to retire in Florida!" "Dibble, I know what you're thinking:" "How can I workfor a man this handsome?" "You'lljust have to get past that." "You may also be wondering:" "How can a man who has never worked in a police station run one?" "And my answer is: computers." " Computers, sir?" " That's right." "In the 30 seconds I've been chief," "I've already replaced all your co-workers with computers via computer." "But why, sir?" "Because machines don't make mistakes." "People make mistakes." "That's not always true." "See, you're wrong!" "And youjust proved my point." "I hate to bring it up, but... why didn't you fire me?" "Well, I need someone to turn on the computers." "Plus, since we share the same birthday, it'd make thejoint party uncomfortable." " Oh." " I know what you're thinking:" "Did he evenjust get more handsome?" "The answer is yes." "Yes, I did." "That's what power does to a man." "Now, I'd love to chat, but I have a surprise inspection of... your beat." "Agh!" "Huh?" "Dibble, you're back!" "Pardon me for not rising, but I haven't felt this ill since I had blubberitis." "Is this what you call good police work, Dibble?" " Sir, you don't understand." " I understand perfectly." "You've been slacking on your job!" "Hey!" "Like, you can't talk to him like that!" "He's, like, the Chief of, like, Police." "I'm the Chief of Police!" "But if you're not chief, how are youse gonna afford all that stuff you bought?" "Ohh!" "Please, Chief Strickland, give me another chance!" "Strickland?" "Hey, you're the guy we ripped off at the Laszlo Laszlo concert." "Remember, TC, he fell for it hook, line, and..." " Benny, shh!" " No need to quiet him, Top Cat." "I know exactly who you are!" "I'm going to show you what happens when you mess with Strickland." "Oh, how I love it when you're angry." "Chief Strickland, I'm sure it was all just a misunder..." "Whoa!" "What the...?" "You think I'd actually go inside your filthy, filthy alley?" "I'm a hologram." "Dibble, you report back to my body at the office, immediately." "As for you," "I will deal with you soon enough!" "How do I shut this thing off?" "Oh, yeah." "Thank you so much for letting me keep my job, sir." "Yeah, well, I don't want to waste my computers' time on unimportant tasks, so I'm giving them all to you." "Trixie, show Omicer Dibble his new tasks and office." "Office?" "Thank you very much, sir." "Maybe all these changes will be for the better." "Oh, of course." "Strickland will turn this town into a better place." "And now, this is your office." "At least I've got a window." "Start with the files on your desk and don't disturb Gerry." "Hi, I'm Gerry." "Candy bar?" " Thanks, I'd love one." " No, I meant do you have one?" "Strickland doesn't allow me to take snack breaks." "I'm starving." "Is it true, TC?" "Is Dibble really gone away forever?" "Well, I'm afraid so, Brain." "Hey, aren't you supposed to be holding up the ladder?" "Whoa!" "Luckily cats always land on their..." "I'm, like, totally gonna miss Dibble." "He was, like, a cool cat" "Yes, yes, he was." "But now that Dibble's gone, we have free rein of Hoagie's Alley." "We can play as many scams as we want, have all-night parties, come and go as much as we please." "But, TC, isn't that what we did when Dibble was around?" "Good point, Benny." "It was easy living before, and it'll be even easier living now." "Whoa!" "This is ridiculous." "I knew Strickland was a tyrant but this is shocking!" "Yee-ee-aaargh!" "Let's just keep that little bit of irony to ourselves, shall we?" " What are we supposed to do now, TC?" " Oooh, maybe we can go to the zoo!" "They have a new 800-pound gorilla!" "Hm." "I can see my house from here!" "And you'll notice it's safe and sound, Mr Mayor." "With technology, I can keep tabs on all crime throughout the city." "Which brings me to why I called you here today." "Let me introduce to you my new robot policeman!" "Would anyone care for some tea or coffee?" "Oh!" "He's so lifelike." " Ow!" " No, no." "Dibble's the only thing in this station that isn't computerised." "You can tell because he makes mistakes." "Watch." "This is my robot!" "Gaargh!" "I have a company willing to build thousands and thousands of these machines." "All I need is thousands and thousands of dollars." "Which, again, is where you come in." "I don't know." "You think these hi-tech gizmos will really work?" "Of course!" "You can trick a policeman, but you can't trick technology." "All set!" "Huka waka-haka-hika!" "That's what I'm talking about." "That's what I'm talking about." "Welcome home, boys." "You did it again, TC!" "Top Cat, Top Cat, Top Cat!" "Top Cat, Top Cat!" "Pay the talent, too, will ya, Brain?" "But we're out of bananas, TC." "We gotta feed him something, so er..." "I suffer." "I suffer." "I suffer." "Whoa-oh!" "Hi, guys!" "Oh!" "Choo-Choo." "Well, if it isn't Fancy Fancy." "You won't escape from me this time." "It's not a good time for this right now." "I'll call you tomorrow, OK, Donna?" "Who's Donna?" "Er..." "Diana?" "Daisy?" "Dee Dee?" "You come back here, Fancy Fancy!" "Whoagh!" "You won't regret this, Mr Mayor." "You can make the cheque out to Lou Strickland." "No need to fill in the amount." "That's my house!" " One dollar to see the gorilla!" " Top Cat!" "Oh!" "Looks like Top Cat found a way around your technology." "No, wait!" "Wait!" "Let me know when your technology is capable of catching criminals like Top Cat." "You'll have your money then." "No, don't leave." "Mr Mayor, please!" "Wait, come back with my money!" "Arrgh!" "This is terrible, sir." "Our dream of making New York City a better and safer place is gone." "Calm down, Trixie." "I'll just show the Mayor what my technology can do." "I happen to know this..." "Top Cat guy." "Is there anything I can do?" "Of course." "Of course there is." "I gotta admit, your asking me out so suddenly was quite a surprise." "How'd you even find me?" "I looked up Handsome in the phone book and then I called them up and asked for your address." "Ha, ha, ha." "I never did like that guy!" "I'm sorry I was in such a rush when we first met." "Tonight is my treat." "Waiter, I'll have five orders of lobster." "I think I'll order the small salad." "That's so considerate that you're ordering food to bring back to your gang." "That's a great idea!" "Make that 25 orders of lobster!" "Now, where were we?" "Well..." "I was telling you about myself." "I lived in an orphanage, grew up, went to college, studied hard, got a job to pay for college..." "And now, I have a very prestigious career." "Well, you know, all work and no play is no way to live." "It beats living in an alley." "The alley's not so bad, especially if you've someone special to share it with." "You and the other riff-raff?" "You got me all wrong." "We only steal from those slimy self-important rich people to give the money to ourselves and orphans." "Did I ever tell you how much I love orphans?" "Excuse me, I really have to take this call." "Hurry back." "I might get back faster if I leave my purse just laying here." "It's so heavy with revealing stuff about me that it would slow me down." "You know what they say." "You can tell a lot about a woman from her purse." "Oh, sure." "Whoagh!" "You were right, he couldn't resist snooping!" "Perfect!" "Got it!" "Great work, Trixie." "And great work to you, beautiful." " Hm?" " Nothing!" "Get back here right now!" "I'm sorry, but I have to run." "It was really nice to see you tonight." "What a shame." "We were just getting to know each other." "Ohh!" "Boys, you're never gonna believe the night I had." "I am in love!" "And to celebrate, I got gourmet lobster dinners for all of you!" "How could you, TC?" "Well, if I'd known you felt that way, I would've brought back steak." "Fish?" "Pork chops?" "My, my, you are a bunch of picky eaters." "We're not angry about that, TC, we're angry about this!" ""Terrible Top Cat Robs City Orphanage"." "What?" "I'll grant you the cat in the picture is very good-looking, but it ain't me." "Well, if you didn't steal the money, how did you get all those lobster dinners?" "You told me we only robbed people that deserved it, that we live by a code." "Boys, boys, calm down a minute." "I'm innocent." "Arrest that cat!" "Strickland, I know we've had our differences, but I am innocent." "I'd like to believe that, TC." "Honestly, I would." "But I have security camera footage of you that says otherwise." "Ha, ha, ha!" "There's nothing I like better than stealing mom orphans." "It's a great excuse to get away mom my gang, too." "Talk about a pack of losers!" "Also, Strickland is the most handsome man I've ever seen!" "While I appreciate the compliment, Top Cat, it doesn't change the fact that you're a criminal." "And the worst part is, you weren't even gonna share the money you stole with your own gang." " Huh?" " Is that true, TC?" "Of course I wasn't gonna share the money, cos I didn't take it!" "Where's Dibble?" "He knows I wouldn't do something like this." " Dibble's a clown." " Certainly, he can be foolish." "No, I mean I've literally turned him into a clown." "Agh!" "You killed it!" " Come with me." " Wait!" "I'm innocent." "I can prove it!" "There's this girl, Trixie..." "Trixie!" "You're here!" "Tell them I was with you." "Trixie?" "You work for Strickland?" "I'm sorry, TC, this... this is just what's best for the city." "This was a set-up!" "Get in the cat carrier." "Boys, you got to help me!" "I hereby condemn you to life in prison!" "Next up, Top Cat." "Let's see what we have here." "Yep, yep, mm-hm." "Yep, mm-hm." "This doesn't make any sense." "No, no, no!" "You obviously didn't commit this crime." "My thoughts exactly." "Right." "I mean, you're not on trial here." "Well, you are, but you deserve to be treated innocent till proven guilty." "And you deserve a fair and impartial trial." "Couldn't agree more." "Bailiff, let's bring in the jury." "But, sir, this isn't a fair and impartial jury." "I want to talk to my lawyer." "Present!" "I promise to do my best, Top Cat." "Are you kidding me?" "Before becoming chief of police, Strickland was the best lawyer in town." " And don't forget handsome, Your Honour." " But I don't want him to represent me." "Noted: the accused renounces his defence." "Jurors?" "Have you reached a verdict in the case of sweet adorable orphans versus Top Cat who is obviously guilty?" "A verdict?" "But what about a trial?" "It doesn't matter!" "We all saw the video of you earlier." "What's to say?" "You obviously did it." "We, the jurors, find Top Cat guilty of all charges." "Farewell." "I hereby sentence you to cat jail." "Oh, no, looks like I can't send you there." "It's all filled up." "Ha, ha, ha..." "Yes!" "So..." "I'll have to send you to dog jail instead!" "But I'm innocent!" "Mr Mayor, I trust that now you can see how technology can keep our city safe." "Here's your money, Strickland." "Use it wisely." "Oh, don't worry." "I will." "One side, make way!" "Top Cat walking!" "Here comes my new chew toy." "Uh-oh." "You can say goodbye to a couple of those nine lives, Top Cat." "Hey, my old pal, Griswald." " What'd they get you for?" " Overdue library book." "Oh, that doesn't sound so bad." "The book was called How To Eat Cats In Prison!" "You're dead!" "Hey, buddy, your girlfriend's here to see you." "She's got a tail, collar and says "bark"." "Woo-hoo!" "That's my girlfriend!" "I've been waiting 20 years to see her." "Thanks a lot, buddy!" "I'm coming!" "I know we all feel very sad, but with TC in jail, we'll need a new leader." "I think the only way is for everyone to think of a number from one to five." "Benny?" " Two." " Spook?" " Like, one?" " Fancy Fancy?" " Three." " Brain?" "Brain?" "Brain!" "I'm thinking." "I'm thinking." "Hmm..." "Too late." "You're all wrong!" "It's four." "But you said it had to be a number from one to five." "Forget it, Brain." "Don't worry, guys." "We'll just do what TC used to and everything will be all right!" "Whoagh!" "Wait for me!" "Attention, citizens of New York." "It was my brilliant technology that allowed me to catch a vicious criminal like Top Cat." "And I will continue to use that technology to make your lives safer by putting security cameras on every street corner!" "In every home!" "And in every bedroom, broom closet, and bathroom." "There is nowhere that any of you will ever be able to hide ever!" "There's also a new curfew that started a half hour ago!" "So get in your houses, now!" "I guess that's that." "Oh, how I love you when you're an evil dictator!" " Sir, what have you done?" " Eliminated crime completely." "No-one can do anything wrong if they're watched 24/7." "24/7?" " Isn't that a bit..." " Inspired?" "It is!" "It's the only way to stop crime." "So, people are a little scared." "They'll get used to the new way." "Going somewhere?" "I just thought I'd do some light gardening, try to pretty up the joint, you know how it is." "Your gardening is gonna have to wait, cos youse and mes got scores to settles, cat!" "Cat?" "Who are you calling a cat?" "I'm calling youse a cat!" "Well, you are clearly mistaken." "I'm not a cat." "I'm in dog jail, aren't I?" "Huh?" "I guess." "Well, how can I be a cat if I'm in dog jail?" "But how come you look different from me?" "I didn't want to mention this in front of the other fellas." "But if I'm a dog, and I think we just agreed that I am, and you look different from me, which you do..." "I'm afraid that makes you... a cat!" "No!" "It can't be!" "All the tail chasing, the hydrant peeing and the biting mailmen... it was all a lie?" "It's the only thing that makes sense." "You know?" "I think maybe I always suspected it on some level." "Ohh, my poor wife, when she finds out!" "You can't tell anyone!" "Griz, my pal, I wouldn't dream of letting your little secret out." "Of course, I might need a few favours from you in return." " Ohh!" " This should get you started." "Have you checked out the new A15 robot vacuum on cell block C?" "Yeah." "She's got all the attachments." "Look at the lid on that!" "That's one fine-looking garbage can." "TC!" "Oh, Top Cat, where are you?" "Benny?" "Forget about him, Benny." "The nogood two face lied to us." "He even stole mom dolphins." "Maybe they were orphans." "The sooner we all, like, forget about Top Cat, you know, like, the better." "OK?" "I guess you're right." "It's time to forget about TC and move on." "OK, let's see here..." ""To spy on your citizens, simply access the display of your cameras by pressing the Spy button, Figure C"." "Now, that's easy." "You!" "Do you have an eating-bananas-in-public permit?" "Too bad!" "100-dollar fine!" "Throw it out now!" "There's another 50 for trash can rental." "And 20 for trash can deposit fees." "Pay the officer." "You there!" "Hat-wearing fee!" "20 dollars!" "Carrying a concealed hat?" "1,000-dollar fee and three days in the slammer!" "You there!" "No parking at any time." "But there isn't any sign." "There." "There's your sign." "Money, money, money." "Ha ha!" "Isn't it wonderful, Trixie?" "No-one can stop me!" "And the best part is, I can use all the money to make myself even more handsome." "Look, I've already got my teeth whitened!" "Ha, ha, ha!" "But the people are so terrified!" "How could you do this, Strickland?" "Oh, it was easy with the help of this little book here." "This is an outrage." "What about all this money?" "Don't worry, Trixie, you'll get your share soon enough." "That's not what I want." "You were supposed to make this city safer, but instead, no-one is safe from you!" "Maybe it's time you asked yourself which side you're on." "Yeah." "Maybe." "Consider this my resignation... sir!" "You know what?" "You're fired, Trixie!" "Do you hear me?" "Fired!" "There's not one honest person in this place!" "Ooh." "Hey!" "How did we end up broke?" "I think we forgot how to make money, but remembered how to spend it." "I guess the good news is, things can't get any worse." "OK, now things definitely can't get any..." "Oww-eee!" "At least lightning never strikes the same place twice." "Aaaargh!" "Come on!" "I can't believe TC would abandon us like this." "He knows we can't take care of ourselves." "I'm sure that, like..." "TC is doing as bad as we're doing, probably worse!" "What is that?" "All right, move on." " Can we get some better chow here?" " Hey, you gonna finish that?" "Hey!" "Have you ever seen Griswald do that?" " Nope." " And the new guy looks weird." "Well, if he's got Griswald to serve him, man, he must be a tough dog." "Mm-hm!" "Yeuch!" "What the heck was that?" "It's slops, sir." "All the dogs eat it." "I've made better meals out of trash I found in the alley." "Just because we're dogs doesn't mean they should treat us like dogs!" "Yeah!" "We're not dogs!" "Ooops." "A little bit of pepper, some oregano..." "Yippee!" "Finally some good grub!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Yeah!" "I'll have what he's having." "Top Dog, Top Dog, Top Dog!" "Top Cat, Top Cat, Top Cat!" "Let me down, boys." "I need some time alone." "What got into him?" "Beats me!" "Also..." "I'm not a cat." "You ain't going to believe me, Gerry." "Strickland made me clean his toilet again." "Gerry?" "I'm coming." "You?" "Let me in, there's something you need to see." "Top Cat Secret File?" "That robot robbed the orphanage!" " That means..." " Top Cat is innocent!" "You!" "re wrong, Trixie." "Top Cat is guilty of standing in my way." "But, the old police chief, your father-in-law... he believed in you!" "Father-in-law?" "Hah!" "He doesn't even have a daughter, that's how good a con man I am." "I'll go to the police with this!" "You forget, Dibble." "I am the police." "And you're not going anywhere." "Guards!" "Seize him!" "Doorway ridiculously small." "Movement impossible." "We've been framed." "Resistance is futile, Dibble!" "Nowhere to run, Dibble!" "I've got you!" "You'll never escape me!" "Wait!" "That's the ladies' room." "Should we knock_rst?" "Occupied!" "Hurry, Omicer Dibble!" "Fools!" "Bring down that door and arrest those traitors!" "Run, Dibble, run!" "Tell Top Cat I'm sorry!" "Strickland is gonna kill us." "It's OK, we'll just say a giant bird got him." "Yeah, yeah, that's good." "I read something about one of those." "When did you learn to read?" "I wonder what Top Cat is doing." " I bet I know who'd know." " Who?" "Top Cat." "He always knew what everyone was up to." "Any food left?" "No, that was always TC's job, along with scheduling, planning, bossing, and keeping the lizards away!" "Shoo, shoo!" "Get off!" "Agh!" "Get off!" "Omicer Dibble!" "What are you doing here?" "It's not "officer" any more." "These days it's actually Valet-Manservant-Helper-Monkey Dibble..." "Must be nice." "I'm here because Top Cat is innocent." "He didn't rob the orphans at all." "You mean, like, he didn't break the code or hold out on us?" "Nope." "He was framed." "It's all right here!" "That thing framed my friend Top Cat?" "Noo-oo!" "I got, I got it!" "That was really awesome, dude!" "That's the way to do it." "That was the only evidence I had." "Now we'll never get him out ofjail." "Ha, yes, we will." "We'll, like, break him out." "I, like, used to play pool with a fellow named Gus, who busted out ofjail, like, more times than I can count." "He can count pretty high, too." "Gus even broke out of dog jail once!" "He was sent there for, like, peeing on a fire hydrant." "He sounds gross." "And perfect!" "Yeah!" "The only problem is, he, like, lives way out in the Boonies." " Can we take your police cruiser?" " No good." "Strickland has them all on a GPS tracking device." "He'll catch us in no time." "I think I have the answer." "Hey!" "There's that eclipse they mentioned on the news!" "Wow!" "It's so dark!" " How long is it going to last?" " Should be just a few more seconds." "There." "It's over." "Now this is what I was talking about." "Ah!" "Not to be ungrateful but..." "does this thing go any faster?" "Second gear coming up!" "Yippee, yeah!" "Ring the bell!" "Make him stop!" "He loves getting his picture taken!" "It's the only way to make him stop." "Former Policeman!" "Open up!" "Just a minute." "Well, well, well." "It looks like Big Gus and his gang are all here." " Small Louie." " Evening." "Then there's Skinny Moe, Fatty Stan and of course, One-Eyed Bill." "Why do you call him One-Eyed Bill when he has all that other stuff going on?" "What?" "You think we give him a new nickname every time he has an accident?" "What can me and my "law-abiding citizen" pals do for youse guys?" "Our pal Top Cat has been sent to jail for a crime he didn't commit." "We need you to help us get him out." "Why should I help Top Cat?" "Because you owe him." "Stick 'em up!" "I said, stick 'em up!" "Thanks, Gus." "No doubt about it, you're the best tailor in the biz." " Sorry, TC, I don't have change now." " Ah, you can owe me." "Hey, Gus, we're gonna go rob the bank." "Wanna come?" "Well, sure beats being a tailor." "I guess I do owe TC." "All right, I'll help youse guys." "But first things first... dinner!" "Waagh!" "You know, maybe we should call him Window Bill." "He does seem to fall through them a lot." "Why are we going backwards?" "Because, I've only broken out ofjail." "This is the only way I know how to get back in." "Boy, even I think that's a stupid reason." "Gentlemen, before we go further," "I must warn you the sight that awaits you on the other side may be hard to take." "This ain't kindergarten, this is a violent, scary place, filled with beings of pure evil." "Huh?" "Cheer up, TC." "You transformed this place into a paradise." "Yeah, well..." "TC, it's us!" "Oh." "You." "What are you doing here?" "We're here to, like, rescue you!" "And I'm here to give you this." "One dollar and 49 cents." "I don't owe you anything any more." "Best of luck, fellas!" "Quick, TC, let's go before the guards catch us." "And why should I go with you?" "You think I'm nothing but a common criminal." " No offence." " None taken, Top Dog!" "But we know the truth now, that Strickland set you up." "I seem to remember someone else saying that exact thing a long time ago." " It was you, TC!" " That it was, Brain." "Why would I ever want to leave this place?" "I've everything I could ever ask for." "Meet my new best pals:" "Vinny, Einstein, Dandy Dandy, Spectrum and Chattanooga." "Hi, there." "Hey, what up, dog?" "Whoa, dude, like, this is a little awkward." "Le pleasure is moi." "But you don't have us." "Please, TC, you gotta come back." "We can't function without you." "More important than that... we miss you." "We're sorry we ever doubted you." "It'll never happen again." "Aw, I missed you, too." "Not even all this fancy stuff could cheer me up." "Actually, those candies kind of took the edge off." "You really gotta try one." "Maybe a little less chewing and a little more getting out of here?" "Oh, no, look!" "How are we supposed to, like, leave now?" "We'll go out the front door." "Rupert, my good man." "Did you hear the great news?" "I served my full sentence." "What are you talking about, TC?" "You just got here." "Indeed I did." "But you heard about how I'm a dog, right?" "Yup." "I had a hunch the whole time, too." "I really did." "Well, then, according to my calculations, if a day is equal to seven dog days and I'm a dog..." "Add this and this times the square root of four, minus the boiling point of tungsten, carry the three and..." "That means I get out ofjail today!" "How about that?" " This way." " See ya, dogs!" "Sure was nice of you to show us cats such hospitality." "And for taking care of our numero uno cat pal, TC." "You're telling me..." "I was serving a cat?" "Get 'em!" "Aagh!" "If those dogs find out I'm a cat, I'll be dead meat!" "Stop running away, tubby!" "Who are you calling tubby, tubby?" "You really think I'm tubby?" "Orange makes me look chubby." "Hey, like, nice tie!" "Is that silk?" "Mine's, like, prison-issue denim." "What are you doing cavorting with the enemy?" "This is a riot!" "Stop copycatting me!" "Oh-hh-hh!" "What the..." "Hey, guys, come here!" "Looks like this is it, boys." "My one regret is I won't be able to pull off any more cons with my old gang." "I'll never woo another lady." "I'll never be chief of police!" "I'll never live long enough to see this sunburn wear off." "And I'll never know if this secret exit door to the sewer ever opens." "Ha ha!" "Well, I guess that's that." "Gentlemen, let's get ready." "This gang is moving to Detroit." "Detroit?" "What do you mean?" "We got to recue Trixie." "She's been held prisoner by Strickland." "Well, serves her good." "No, TC." "If it weren't for her we never could have rescued you." "She's the one who told me you were innocent." "I think you owe Trixie now." " Let's go, fellas!" " Wait, look!" "We'll never sneak past all of them." "Violation in progress!" "You are guilty of breaking Handsome Strickland's cu_ew." "And loitering." "Extend hands so you may be apprehended." "Hold on a second." "How come you're not arresting yourselves?" "Does not compute." "Please elaborate." "He is a little slow." "But I, too, am notfollowing." "You're loitering and out past curfew too!" "Wow." "It is past cu_ew." "We could be in trouble." "No, we uphold the law." "But we're breaking the law." "We uphold the law." "But we break the law." "We uphold... breaking, breaking..." "We've got a change of plans." "How dare you interrupt my daily mud bath!" "Huh?" "We captured Officer Dibble." "Let me go!" "Let me go!" "I bet your first office doesn't look so cramped now, does it, Dibble?" "Agh!" "Mr Mayor?" "Mrs Rich Lady?" "Oh, no, Gerry!" "Not you, too?" "Candy bar?" "100 dollars!" " Is there anyone even left in the city?" " Nope." "And let me tell you, Dibble, it makes policing so-oo much easier!" "Soon every city in this country will look like this." "Like I said, technology solves everything!" "Now, if you'll excuse me, my mud is drying." "Why don't you tell me more about how much you like technology, sir?" "Don't mind if I do." "I like technology better than rainbows, better than ice cream, better than rainbow ice cream." "Now what?" "Top Cat?" "You're free!" "Thanks to your help, I've been told." "Now let's get you out of here." "Oh, Top Cat, what I did was inexcusable." "Well, we'll talk later." "Dibble is keeping Strickland distracted, but it won't last long." "I like technology better than this mole I have on my butt that's shaped like a cow." "Let me show you." "Hurry up!" "If only I can figure out how this thing opens." "Any ideas?" "Ah, the user manual!" "It holds the keycodes for all of Strickland's systems." "Unfortunately, he keeps it inside a vault in the Command Center and getting it would be impossible." "I don't know the meaning of the word impossible." "Me neither." "Sure, Brain." "Let's go, fellas." "The user's manual is in that Command Center and we've got to go in!" "Like, those fellas look pretty tough." "How are we, like, gonna get past them?" "It's too bad they ain't lady robots." "I could charm the pants off all them while you guys snuck past." " Oh, boys?" " What is that?" "Over here." "Hello." "Hi!" "Hello, what is your serial number?" "I saw herfirst!" "Everybody stay close!" "But how are we gonna open the door?" "If only we had something really thick, we could bring down that door." "Oh, oh, ooh!" "Keep up the good work, boys." " And hurry it up, will ya?" " Hey, baby!" "Where are you going?" "Oh, yeah!" "Ha, ha!" "Another door?" "You have got to be kidding me!" "To access contents, please veri_ identity by answering the following question:" "Keypad, Keypad on the wall, who is the handsomest of them all?" "The password is Strickland." "Access granted." "I have an "I love technology" tattoo." "Let me show you." "Intruders in the Command Center's hall." "What?" "I thought everybody was locked up." "Never mind, I'll see to this myself." "Hey, TC, I found it!" "Great job, Benny." "Now, how do we open up the cells?" "Wait, this thing is written in Portuguese." "Huh?" "Hold it!" "I found the English section." ""Congratulations and thank you for choosing Evil Villain Command Center"." ""Please do not expose to extreme temperatures and keep Command Center always away from the reach of children"." "Give me that!" "There's an index here." "Well, look up unlocking the cells." "Let's see: "Raiding citizens, self-destruction, setting date and time"." "What was that last one?" "Setting date and time?" "No, the self-destruction." "Look up that one." "Wait, what was that?" "Hey, TC, I found it!" "You just think you're a genius, don't you, TC?" "Huh!" "You think you can beat me, Top Cat?" "Nobody beats me." "I have technology on my side." "Yeah, I got that." "And what do you have - some outdated tricks and schemes?" "Your charm?" "Not enough!" "It's a new era, Top Cat, and there's no room for you in it." "Robots, report to the vault immediately, to annihilate Top Cat and his gang." "Say, Strickland, did you build these robots yourself?" "Are you crazy?" "I won't risk ruining my perfect hands with manual labour." "I hired some jerk in Peekajoo to do the job." "I thought that logo looked familiar." "I know the Maharaja." "Last time I saw him, he gave me this doohickey - the Maharajaton 5000." "Wow!" "I'm so-oo impressed!" "It's a phone, an MP3 player, hairdryer and it also just so happens to control your robots!" "Police Bot, stop doing that!" "Police Bot, you stop doing that this instant or I swear..." "Yagh!" "Looks like I have control of the city now, Strickland." "I demand you free the citizens from jail and tell the people I'm innocent!" "Never!" "Well, you leave me no choice." "Robot, arrest Strickland." "Arrest him." "Arrest him." "Arrest him." "Arrest him." "Looks like they're coming for you!" "You think you're so clever." "What you fail to realise is that I have the system self-destruct button." "What are you doing after work?" "Huh?" "Here it is: "Push the self-destruction button located on the control panel"." "You know, you really didn't have to do that." "But I destroyed the robots!" "Like I said, the Maharajaton 5000 does a lot of things, but it can't control your robots." "I mean, come on!" "But then how..." "Oh, that?" "That's just Fancy Fancy." "Hi, there!" "Mr Strickland, in the name of all that is honest and law-abiding, you're under arrest." "Oh, please!" "I'm too pretty to go to jail!" "No!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Don't worry, Strickland." "I hear there's no more room in the human jail." "Whew!" "Agh!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Baby, I've been waiting for you to visit, it's been so long!" " No, no!" "Go away!" "Go away!" " Come here!" "Without further ado, I'd like to thank the hero who acted quickly to turn the tables on a corrupt chief." "I present the new police chief Chief Dibble!" "This is the happiest moment of my life!" "I'm gonna miss Omicer Dibble now that he has a fancy new promotion." "Yeah, I'm gonna miss him, too." "Oh, I'll miss you too, guys." "Omicer Dibble!" "Don't think you'll get rid of me so easily." "I plan to keep a close eye on Hoagie's Alley." "We'll be more than delighted if you do so, more than delighted." "Say, Trixie, now that I think of it, I believe I owe you a lobster dinner." "Now that I think of it..." "you owe me 25 lobster dinners, silly!" "Ooh!" "I'll be waiting for your call." "Did I hear someone say dinner?" "I'm starving!" "I know just the thing to cheer you up - my famous fish head, bottle cap, boot stew!" "Yippee!" "It's about time." "I'm hungry." "You guys got room for one more cat in that alley?" "Sure we do, pal." "There's always room for one more cat in the gang." "And you, my friend, are a darn good cat... for a dog, that is." "A one, a two..." "A one, two, three, four!"