"SPACE PILOT" " The Star Diaries" "Freely produced by themes from the novel "Star diaries" by Stanislaw Lem" "Flying my rocket on Monday the 10th of October... on my way to the Egg Planet," "I didn't want to take anymore detours to finally get some fresh omelet eggs." "What's that?" "I wanna fly straight ahead for a change." "I have my reservations, Mr. Tichy." "It looks murky." "I wouldn't risk flying through it." "What?" "Give me the map!" "One potato... two tomato... divided by zero..." "Aha, the straight path." "Fly through it!" "My gut feeling says that it's safer to make a small detour." "You're a holograph." "You can't have any gut touchy-feely stuff." "Apparently I do, I'm more than a hologram, and my gut says:" "No!" "But my rational mind decides and it says: go." "Fly through!" "This is how I imagine my home planet." "My subconscious drew this..." "Are you scatterbrained?" "This is the brochure of the Egg Planet." "An important document, now you've smudged it." "There's a special offer on eggs!" ""One egg free on your birthday." They also sing happy birthday." "When's your birthday, Mr. Tichy?" "Enough!" "Out, both of you." "The Fog..." "Fog of Clarity..." "Marine Fog..." "Fogula Cognitionis:" ""The fog of awareness"." "Wow..." "What?" " Wow..." "You jokester, have you forgotten how to speak?" "Mr. Tichy, something... weird is happening in this fog." "Don't worry." "I've worked out a new course." "You think it's reasonable to set a course based on the colors of the numbers?" "You're questioning my rational mind?" "Well, see how you like this, then!" "So much for your rational mind and my gut feelings..." "THE MEMENTO" "You're getting worse and worse!" "I thought you wanted to tidy up the rocket?" "What's wrong?" "It's really bad." "An existential emergency-crisis." " You don't say." "I..." "Ijon Tichy, a genius in logical thinking... have forgotten a number:" "the date of my birthday." "You don't say." "I know how to find it." "One potato, two tomato..." "Now, Mr. Tichy... let's just relax a little..." "Get comfortable... and space will seem much better." "One potato, two tomato..." " Yes, two tomato." "I think we're dealing with a little mental block." "We have to, somehow, access your subconsciousness." "Subsandwichesmess?" " Yeah." "Stop it, Mel!" "I can make out a butterfly." "What do you see?" "A birthday egg..." "What else..." "It's all the same to me..." "Mel, get the radio." "Now we're going to dance." "Come on, join in." "It'll totally relax you." "That was your favorite cup." "Get a little mad." "Let your feelings out." "Ok, he's catatonic." "Totally blocked up." "Tomorrow's a new day, you're sure to remember your birthday then." "Good night." "It's me..." "Do you think maybe..." "I can snooze at your place tonight?" "Don't tell me the Cosmic Hero is afraid of the dark?" "No, no, no..." "But that cupboard belonged to my granny." "It's a memento." "Maybe it will jog my memory, help me remember..." "My birthday... for example." "I see, Mr. Tichy, a memento..." "But just this once." "I had a queasy feeling." "I must've turned on the secret elevator in the cupboard." "It led to a secret cellar in my rocket." "And was full of old junk." "When did I put this stuff down here?" "My favorite cup..." "And then I realized something." "There was a second cupboard... and there was a strange noise coming from it." "I had to see this." "Good morning, Mr. Tichy." "Time to wake up!" "Good morning, Mel." "See how uncomfortable it is for me to." "You're totally scrunched up, Mr. Tichy." "What's that?" "Some jackass broke my favorite cup." "Dammit!" "It seems a night in the closet did you good." "Your block is gone, anyway." "What's it to you?" " Very good!" "Let it all out." "It's good for you and you'll remember your birthday." "Here, go on!" "Hey!" "Are you sick-headed?" "You scrap of crap appliance." "I'll show you what happens when I let out my angry rant-rage... on you!" "And now, out of the rocket, you scrappy appliance." "I've never seen him like that." "What do we do when he wakes up?" "You're much heftier than I thought." "Go away, sniffle-snout." "Back here again..." "No way, I've spent long enough in this dark cellar." "It's my turn to sit up there." " What's all this old junk?" "Out of my way!" "I always wanted to do that!" "What do we do with him?" "Come on, Mel." "Help me!" "How did this get here?" "It's Mr. Tichy's favorite cup." "The Chronocycle, the broken spare part... my pretty vase..." "Mel, I think this is not junk... it's memories." "If these really are Mr. Tichy's memories, then we'd better get rid of his cup." "No broken pieces, no memory... no problem!" ""Dear Santa, I want an egg cup with stars on it." "I was a good boy." "Your Ijon."" "Let's see where this goes." "What's that?" "RANT-RAGE CAGE" "I didn't snooze well..." "I have a big fat rattle-head." "Another one?" " You flabby crybaby." "Now I know." "You knocked me out, so you could go up..." "Buddy-boy, now I'll even the score." " Come on then." "Gentlemen..." "Mr. Tichy, I know what's happening here." "Mel!" "I don't get it?" " That's great." "You finally found a way back to your blocked subconscious." "Silly crap." "It's a nightmare gone bad..." "If so, then what is your suppressed aggression doing here?" "Now I understood." "I was inside my head." "But if that was my ugly angry face, what did he do down here... while I was sub-pressing my aggressive rant-rage?" "Come on, you limp wimp..." "No!" "I'll just sub-press the bad anger." "That's what I wanted know!" "SUPPRESSED" "Keep this place nice and clean, got it?" "Excellent, you have your aggression under control again." "You seem so well balanced now..." "Wipe that smile off your face!" "Well maybe not so well balanced, after all." "Get your grabby paws off me!" "I don't want to go back in the closet!" "I'm sick of this!" "Not another head-cellar." "Do you at least know the date of our birthday?" "Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you!" "How nice." "It's all stupid-silly..." "No one's here." "The only reason we're down here... is to find my voice of reason, my rational self, the real me... and ask him about my birthday." "Mr. Tichy, look at how you treat your sensitive side." "Don't cry." "He didn't mean it." "Hey, Mel-fellow." "This is my subsandwitchesmess!" "No sepulking!" "Come here, now!" "Mr. Tichy is totally underdeveloped, socially." "I've often hidden my tears from him, he can be so mean sometimes." "But first tell us why you're so sad." "Because he forgot my birthday." "Best day of the year..." "Ok, maybe I forgot a little." "But maybe you know when our birthday is?" "I'm really sorry!" "I'm sorry too!" "How sweet." "He's overcome another mental block." "What's going on here?" "Enough!" "Is this kindergarten, or what?" "Who started this?" "Was it you again?" " Kiss my ass!" "Who's up there, cackle-laughing like that?" "That's the voice of reason." "The rational mind?" "The voice of reason is sneering at us." "That's just great!" "Enough!" "That's my ingenious mind." "My factual, scientific, real-me self." "It knows and controls everything." "While we're down here dancing like jackasses!" "I want to meet it now!" "And ask about my birthday." "It must know!" " Yes, I'd like to know too!" "Mel?" "Hey, wait up!" "I'm starting to get all tingly." "Move over!" "Don't leave without us!" "I'm cramped tight!" " You're too belly-fat!" "I'm here too." " Hey, don't mess up my hair!" "How does the elevator work?" "We could activate the rational mind with a riddle." "Or just close the door!" "The rational mind, he's in there!" "I'm a scaredy-mouse..." "You must be Mr. Tichy's rational mind?" "I don't believe that!" "You, little rascal?" "Mr. Tichy it's no wonder you can't remember your birthday." "We can't ask this little critter." "That's my rational self?" "This little creepy-crawly kid?" "Mr. Tichy, now we know." "Today is your birthday!" "Happy Birthday for me!" "Happy birthday to us all..." "Silly crap!" " Please let this nightmare end!" "Hello?" "Where are we?" "It's so cramped tight here." "I've no idea." " Wow." "It's so dark in here!" "The Mel-fellow can talk again." "Look, the fog is gone." "And now that we know it is my birthday today... we can celebrate a fun little party." "Was." "What?" " It was your birthday, Mr. Tichy." "I'm doggone tired." "I'm going to bed!" "I'll fix the controls and the power cut tomorrow." "You keep your fingers off it." "Your rational mind shouldn't have to deal with something this difficult." "Nighty-night!" "People later said that I made the whole thing up." "Nasty people said that I secretly drank too much alcohol on earth." "But lost all inhibitions on long space voyages." "God knows how this rumor got started." "An egg cup with stars on it." "How did you know?" ""Thank-you" would do." "How did you know?" " Oh, Mr. Tichy..." "Let's just say..." "I had a gut feeling!" "People are like that." "They'd rather believe a bunch of silly crap than perfectly good facts."