"I deliver perfection..." "and don't brag about it!" ":" "D" "CAT'S EYE" "Help me." "Help me." "Look up here." "Help me." "You've got to find it." "It's after me." "You've got to get me back." "Find it." "You've got to stop it." "Please, help me." "Nice little pussycat." "You've saved me a trip to the pound." "What are you so excited about?" "What am I, a cat psychologist?" "Get in." " This is the place." " I don't know about this." "You said you wanted to quit these." "Go on, before you lose your guts." " Why don't you come up with me?" " It's against the rules." "Is this a quit-smoking clinic or the CIA?" "It'll turn your life around, Dick." "I guarantee it." "That's what Jim Jones said when he spiked the punch." " I'm here to quit smoking." " Fill one of these out." "I have a pen." "SMOKING GETS IN YOUR EYES" "Honey." "Are you all right?" "No, no..." "My precious." "It's all right." "You're going to be fine." "Take me home." "I've been a smoker for a long time, since I was 16." "It is very hard." "Come on now." "The elevator is down here." "One step at a time." " Excuse me..." " I'll take that." " I've changed me mind." " Mr. Morrison?" " Sorry to keep you waiting." " I was just saying..." " We're about to change your life." " For the better, I hope." " The founding father?" " Please, Mr. Morrison." " You have a daughter of 10." " Alicia." "You left the space for a school blank." "That really has no connection with you helping me to quit smoking." "So..." "Are we going to get down to it, or not?" "In fact we've already started getting down to it." "Do you have cigarettes with you?" "Does a bear shit in the woods?" "May I have them, please?" "Our methods here at Quitters Inc." "Are rather radical." "As a treatment they suck." "The newsstand down the hall sells all brands." "Availability is only part of the problem." "The fallback rate for reformed smokers is higher than that for drug addicts." "You can save me the lecture." "I changed my mind." "Will you open this door?" "You've got a hell of a problem, but Quitters Inc." "Have the solution." "You're going to have a problem with my lawyer if you don't open this door." "Relax, Mr. Morrison." "Here's something that might interest you." "Watch closely." "You will notice that at no time does my hand leave my wrist." "The music is part of his conditioning." "Boogie down, baby." "What are you doing?" "You're killing it." "Kill the nice kitty?" "No." "He may be crispy around the paws, but otherwise he's fine." "You grill all the cats you want, but if you don't let me out of here, " " I'm going to call the cops faster than you can say Marlboro man." "Listen to the big picture." "Quitters Inc." "Was endowed by a very important person." "After he died of lung cancer, he developed certain techniques." "The family business now uses these to stop people from smoking." "Actually, this is a nice tax gimmick." "But mainly we're interested in helping our fellow man." "During the first month, we'll have you under constant supervision." "You may see some of them some of the time." "But believe me, you'll never see all of them all of the time." "If you smoke, they'll see you." " And you'll put me in the cat room?" " No." "We'll stick your wife in the cat room." "You get to watch." "I'm a man of medicine." "I'm expected to save lives." "I love people." "Therefore I would have no choice but to kill the son of a bitch." " Kill him." "Good idea." " What did you say?" "Nothing..." " I can't believe this is happening." " It is." "First offense, your wife gets the juice... not too much." "Second time, we bring your daughter Alicia here." "Imagine your daughter in there instead of the cat." "Third offense, I'll have to send someone to rape your wife." "We have a disturbed individual here for such distasteful jobs." "But content yourself with this:" "Only 2% of our clients ever fall from grace a fourth time." "And if they do?" "Then we give up, Mr. Morrison." "God!" "I spilled my drink." "Keep using your left tit as a coaster, and that's bound to happen." "Damn terrible movie." "Who writes this crap?" " Dick." " What?" "What's wrong?" " You're like a bear tonight." " It's nothing..." "Everything." "I quit smoking today." " Since when?" "5 minutes ago?" " At quarter-to-three this afternoon." " You haven't smoked in 6 hours?" " 6 hours and 23 minutes." "I'm trying to get some ice cream here." "Why did you decide to quit?" "I did it for you." "And Alicia." "That's so sweet." "Even if you don't make it, we both thank you." "I think I'll make it." "Shit!" "Jesus!" "Hello." "Is somebody in there?" "I didn't smoke it." "If you're in there, tell Donatti I didn't smoke it." "I was actually just..." " Want some coffee?" " Jesus!" "I assume that's a yes." "Talk about aversion therapy." "That's it." "SAINT STEPHEN'S SCHOOL FOR THE EXCEPTIONAL" "Daddy!" "Hi, baby." "Eyes closed and here we go." "We're skipping with our eyes closed." "We'll skip over to here." "Eyes closed?" "I think they're open." "Are they closed?" "I think now it's time to open them." "Thank you, Daddy." "I'm glad you like it." "You know what?" "I love you, Alicia." " What's its name?" " I think it's here on the tag." "Norma Jean." " Norma..." " Jean." "I love Norma Jean." "I'm glad, baby." "Come on." "You've got Norma Jean, and her adoption papers." "You go back to the other kids." "Bye." " You love her a lot." " One of your men was in my home." "Really?" "That's possible, I suppose." "Constant supervision is what we promise." " And that's what we give." " You're a son of a bitch." "Yes, I am." "It takes a son of a bitch to beat the habit." "People who can't be sons of bitches alone come to us." "We give them what they need." "I don't know what your hoods told you, but I didn't smoke." "If you had lit that cigarette, you wouldn't be here right now." "You'd be watching your wife hop around in the little room." "You love your wife, love your kid." "Unfashionable, but useful." "I think you're going to make it." "We'll be watching you." "I asked him if he thought I could stay in business." "He said that with assholes like him around I'd get by." "Not bad." "He says: "What do you think the SEC will say when they hear about this?"" "They're going to say they've heard it all before." "P.T. Barnum was right." ""There's a sucker born every minute."" "Come in, Dick." "I'm sorry." "I'm just a little tired." " Have a cigarette." " Yeah..." "No!" "I quit." "I did, really." "Sure!" "Two weeks ago." "Done." "Two weeks, two months, two years." "It doesn't matter." "A big presentation comes along." "You'll be right back on them." "Come on, have a cigarette." "Come on, have a cigarette." "No, I gave those babies up." "Hey, Dick, the smoking lantern is lit!" "Every word you say or game you play I'll be watching you..." "Dickie." "Shove it up your ass, Hal." "What?" "Lit?" "Shit!" "Cindy." "Cindy?" " Cindy?" " Hello, Mr. Morrison." "We have some business to attend to." " Will 5 o'clock be all right?" " It was just a slip." "I swear it won't happen again." "It didn't even taste good." " I'll count on you for five." " Mr. Donatti..." "Donatti!" " Where's my wife?" " Hello." " He tried to use his fists." " Where's Cindy?" "Junk, you idiot." "Fiddlesticks!" "Here kitty, kitty..." "Forget the cat, you hemorrhoid." "Get the gun." "Get up." "Let's not have any more of this foolishness." "I understand your agitation." "I won't hold it against you." " Please, Mr. Donatti..." " Be good." "Don't provoke Junk again." "We'll make this as brief as possible." "Your wife will not be hurt, this time." "Watch him, Junk." "It's just like getting a shot at the doctor's office." " Stop it!" "You're killing her." " Take it easy." "She'll be fine." "I think you've got some explaining to do." " Turn the sound up." " There's no reason to." "I've been in the business long enough to know every line." "She's either going to squeeze her guy tight   or slap him in the face." " 10 bucks says she slaps him." " You're on." "Darn." " Back a little bit." " No, no, no... 8 pounds in 6 months." "I don't think that's bad." "We've go to watch it." "73% of our clients get a weight problem when they stop smoking." "Get dressed and we'll have a talk." " Is 8 pounds so bad?" " It's great." "These diet pills are highly illegal." "Use them sparingly." "I'm setting you a maximum weight of 165 pounds." "And if I go over that, you'll send a guy round to torch my house?" "No, I'll send a guy round to cut off your wife's little finger." "Have a good day, Dick." " Cut off my wife's finger..." " Sorry to keep you waiting." "I think a toast is in order." "Don't throw the glasses in the fire, you'll wake Alicia." "The ladies are entitled." "To Quitters Inc." "Quitters Inc." "To Quitters Inc." "Come on, Darcy." "It's gobbler time." "You just sit right there." "Gobbler is all that Darcy eats." "It's his most favorite." "Listen to me carefully." "It's still looking for me." "You've got to get back and find it." "You are my only chance." " Lucky night, Mr. Cressner." " Don'tjump to any conclusions." "The night ain't over." "Good night, Mr. Cressner." " Richard, cash these." " Okay." " Buona notte." " Buona notte." "Thank you." "Good night, Henry." " Have you spoken to Ducky?" " Yes, sir, Mr. Cressner." " He has my wife and this guy in view?" " Yes, in a white mustang." " Ducky is right behind them." " Good." "So folks, what's it going to be?" "Dean Martin is at the Golden Nugget." "It's a long time since I saw him." " What about your domestic problem?" " Everything is well in hand." " The Golden Nugget is fine." " Thank you so much." "Look at that, a cat." "My father said that all cats should be drowned." " Is that right?" " A great humanitarian." " I bet that cat gets run over." " I've got 2,000 says he can make it." " You're kidding." " No." " 2,000 that he makes it." " The cat's dead." "You say he makes it." "I say he's dead." " I can do anything I want." " Sure." "I can do anything I want." "You won't say a word." " Anybody can do anything they want." " Watch me." "Come on, cat." "Come on, kitty, kitty." " You guys would bet on anything." " That's what it's all about." " Come here, kitty." " Here, kitty." "For 2,000 you're on my side?" "You're the one whose father was drowning cats." "Don't worry about these big things, that's special effects." "Now!" "Here he is." "There's the guy." " He was lucky." " He knows you bet against him." " You win some you lose some." " You guys go see Dean Martin." "I'll go give him a bowl of milk." "I think he just earned it." " You sure you're not coming?" " I've got to finish some business." "Get me a cab, please." "Get Ducky on the radio." "Tell him to nail the bastard." "Good night." " Why can't you come with me?" " Because we're broke." "Being with me puts you on a whole new plain of financial existence." " I'll make it as painless as I can." " I don't care." "The Armbruster Hotel, New York." "After the banks open tomorrow, I'll meet you there." " You don't know how dangerous he is." " I know exactly what he is." "That's why you're getting on the bus, after you give me a kiss." " Darling..." " Go." "Hey." "It's for the horses or cows." "Pigs don't eat it." "They don't know how." "Get his keys." "You're in big trouble." "Move." "Come on." "Okay, blow." "Come on, kid." "Pigs don't eat it." "They don't know how." "When Ducky says that, it means shut up." " It does?" " Yeah, it's like ajoke." "Close the door." "I've set you up, Mr. Norris." "Albert will call the police and tell them a tale of heroin,   1970 Mustangs." "Aging tennis pros with drug records." " You'll be eagerly sought after." " Unless I tell you where Marcia is." "With you gone, she'll come back." "She's got nowhere else to go." "When you get out ofjail, you'll be more concerned with your arthritis   than with your libido." "Unless you want to take the wager I'm offering." "Hey, come here." "Come on." "I want to show you something." "Look down there and tell me what you see." "Look." " A street." " No, there." "A ledge." "What is all this about?" "The wager is very simple." "The top of the building is sort of an architectural monstrosity." "It's all little nooks and crannies." "If you walk all the way around, the car will be clean." " You get the money and my wife." " You're crazy." "But lose your balance..." "Lose you balance once..." "That's the bet." "You get the girl." "You get everything." "Or you get a lot of straight time in Rahway prison." "Do you welch on your bets?" "I've never welched on a bet in my life." "Sebastian." "Sebastian appears to like you." "Maybe that's a good sign." "Good." "Good." "Well begun is half done." "The ledge is about 5 inches wide, but it feels more like 3, doesn't it?" "Or two?" "Or one?" "How the hell would you know?" "You know what I think?" "I think you're going to stand there for a while and climb back up." "If your arms have enough strength." "I don't think you've got the guts." "Boo!" "You bastard." "I just want to keep you on your toes." "Get out of here." "You bastard." "Just keeping you on your toes." "Jesus!" "What's the matter with you?" "Where's your sense of humor?" "Buzz off." "You little pecker." "Try this, you flying shithouse." "Mr. Norris." "This is more fun than human beings should be allowed to have." " I'll kill you." " No, Mr. Norris." "But I will most securely kill you if you don't get moving." "The valve was only half open." "If I open it all the way, I'll blow you out of this hole." "Move!" "I'll kill you." "Wait and see." "God!" " Put it in the shopping bag." " On top of the money?" "Put that down there." "Come in when I say:" ""All right, all right, Mr. Norris."" " "All right, Mr. Norris." - "All right, all right, Mr. Norris."" " I got it. "All right, Mr. Norris."" " Forget it." "Go ahead." "All right, all right, Mr. Norris." "I told you, I don't welch." " No?" " No, I'm just a poor loser." "I promised you three things." "The car is clean." "You have your money." "And of course you have my wife." " Jesus!" " How do you like that?" "Albert." "Albert." "The money..." "It's nothing." "Chicken feed." "I can get you 100,000." "500,000." "A million, Norris." "In a Swiss bank account." "How about that?" "A million dollars." " I don't think so." " Two million." "No." "I've got an idea." "I'll make you a bet." "It's not a wager." "I'm not a big fancy hood, like you." "I'm an over-the-hill tennis bum with a dead girlfriend." "This is just a simple little bet." "Five million." " I'll give you anything you want." " You're right, this is a lot of fun." "You've got to be joking." "Tell me it's ajoke." "Just keeping you on your toes." "Keep moving." "The next one might be a lot closer." "Move!" "Norris, you son of a bitch." "Get out of here." "Get out..." "Come on, you two." "Lunch time." "A cat." "Can we keep him?" "Amanda, wait till I get a broom." "Wait, Amanda." " Don't, that cat could bite you." " No, it likes me." "We can't keep a stray." "It could have disease." "Have the vet check him." "If the vet says he's okay, can we please have him?" "Pretty please, with sugar on top?" "What's your name?" "I can't hear you." "Are you going to guard me?" "I hope so." " Can't General stay in my room?" " No." "A cat's place in this house does not include bedroom priviliges." "It's bedtime." "Good night, General." "Amanda, turn off the TV." "I'd like to talk to you." "That cat was in your bedroom last night." "I found cat hairs all over your bedspread." "Was he?" "I dreamed he was." "Far out." "He will be far out, if I take him to the animal shelter." " Mom, that's not fair." " Have you thought about Paulie?" "General and Paulie get along great." "No, they don't." "Haven't you ever watched Sylvester and Tweety-bird?" "General wouldn't hurt Paulie." "He's non-violent." "I think it's really early to decide that." "Your mom had a conference call with Nana last night." "Nana says that cats steal kids' breath." "Why would General take my breath when he has his own?" "Put all the animals out at night, especially the cat animals." "If you don't, they climb up and sit on your chest." "And suck all your breath out, like this." " That is very helpful, Hugh." " Thank you." "Sit down and have your breakfast." "No, jokes about my mother's accent have a way of killing my appetite." "Non-violent my ass." "I'm sorry we laughed at Nan." "Couldn't we..." "The subject is closed." "Bus in 15 minutes." " Couldn't General just stay..." " No." "Don't forget those back teeth." "That's where the food gets stuck." "Get the backs." " Hi, doll." " Hi, Daddy." "I could get General in here, if I knew what these bad dreams were all about." "Why?" "Well, when you play the violin, everybody listens, including your mom." "Come on, tell me." " I remember there's a monster." " A monster?" "What's he like?" " You know the story about the goats?" " "Three Billy Goats Gruff"?" "That's the one." "This one was on my wall, right there." "General kept those dreams away last night." "Can't he come in?" "Your mom is really serious about this." "Just like getting the back teeth, and cats stealing kids' breath." "My making fun of Nanny's accent didn't get us off to a good start." "But I might be able to bring your mother around." "No promises." "No promises." "You know, there are no real monsters." "Yeah, I guess I do." "Okay." "Go to sleep now." " And no bad dreams." " No." "She was beginning to cry when I kissed her good night." "Come on, Hugh." " We could talk about it some more." " I just don't trust that cat." "What was that?" "I don't know." "I'll go." "General, is that you?" "Paulie!" "Mandy?" "Paulie's dead." "The monster in my wall killed Paulie." "I knew it." "I knew it!" "I told you this would happen." "Look at this." "It's okay." " She says the cat didn't do it." " Yes, I know." "She's convinced there is a troll living in her wall." "But she is 8 and you are 38, and that cat left a trail of blood." "Should I take care of Paulie?" "Here he goes, killer." "I thought you'd have cleared out of here by now, too." "Your welcome is getting pretty threadbare." "Come here." "What have we got here?" "Who did that to you?" " The cat's got a shoulder wound." " So what?" "It seems like a big wound." "Paulie got in one good peck before the cat killed him." "I never realized that Paulie had such a big pecker." "Get ready for work." "You're going to be late." "Stay right there." "Come on." "Look, good food." "Come on, kitty." "Mama's got your favorite food." "Come on, you furry little bastard." "Going..." "Going..." "Your bird-killing days are over." "CITY ANIMAL SHELTER" "General!" "General!" "Tomorrow's your big day." "TERMINATION" "Do you think General ran away because you thought he killed Paulie?" "Cats don't think." "He knows you think that cats steal kids' breath." "What was that?" "Mommy!" " Mommy!" " Amanda." "Out of the way." "Get him, General." "Don't let him get away." "Amanda, Mommy and Daddy were not angry." "Why won't the door open?" "Get him, General." "Come on, General, you can do it." "Grab him." "Watch out, General." "Come on, General." "Play it faster." "Play it faster." "General!" "Where did he come from?" "Give me that cat." "Quiet!" "It was the monster who was trying to take my breath, and General fixed him." " You've got to believe me." " Where did it go?" "General played him on the record player and swoosh he flew into the fan and got smushed." "My God!" "Hugh, what do you think it is?" "It came out of my wall, just like I told you." "Whatever it was that was in the wall, was it alone?" " Did it have any friends?" " I only saw one." " We're not telling anyone about this." " You're kidding." "Amanda, promise me that you won't tell anyone about this." " Well, that depends." " Depends on what?" "On whether or not General can sleep with me at night." "That's blackmail!" "Hi."