"[ thunder crashes ] [laughsevilly] [ sawing ]" "[ electricity crackles ] it'salive!" "[ thunder crashes ] [laughsevilly] [ smooch!" "] [ laughs evilly ] captainvontrapp,the hills are alive!" "withthesoundofmusic." "Yes, maria, I know." "no,youfool!" "The hills are alive!" "[ both growling ] autobots,wemustdefeat" "Megatron." "[ fanfare plays ] wearethezybots!" "We can also transform." "Let us help you fight." "uh..." "Brave zybots, I am 100% sure you would die." "okay!" "Well, thanks for your time." "thatwasjustsad ." "whew!" "SorryI'mlate." "uh,whoareyou ?" "I'm" "I 'man" " I'man" "Autobot like you." "My name is autobot..." "Johnson." "youlookexactlylikethe zybots we just spoke to hastily" "Cobbled together to form a bigger, weirder zybot." "uh,okay." "Who hired this guy?" "oh,shit!" "Give me a second here." "Ugh!" "Just one second!" "Aah!" "Ugh!" "There." "ifyou'rean autobot,then" "Transform with loud, showy noises." "youbet!" "kee-kah!" "Khwah!" "[ all groaning ] truetalk-- we lied." "But we don't need your permission." "We'll fight megatron all by ourselves." "megatron,meetthezybots!" "notthezybots!" "aah!" "aaaaaaaaah!" "wedidit ." "We did it!" "We did I-I-I-I-t!" "megatron,whatthe[bleep]" "Bro?" "!" "oh,thoseguyswerecute ." "They really looked like they needed a "w."" "whereishe ,marjory?" "Idon'tknowwhatyou're" "Talking about." "you'vebeencheatingonme" "With one of these?" "!" "unh!" "Onceyougoqrcode, you" "Never take another barcode load." "[ all grunting ] youdorealizechangingfaces has zero relevance to combat," "Right?" "well,myfistisvery" "Relevant." "[ watch beeps ]" "Ah, I got to jet, guys." "My play is opening tonight!" "Rubber baby buggy bumpers." "Rubber baby buggy bumpers!" "Ican'tbelievehe'sleaving us for his acting bullshit." "let'scrashhisplayand yell, "you suck!" at" "Inappropriate moments." "hey,whatthe[bleep]guys ?" "Aah!" "[bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [laughs]" "What a doucheblast." "thoughcursedwitha" "Monster's face, you, catherine -- you've seen the man" "Inside." "How ironic that they say love is" "Blind, because it took love to open my eyes." "[ cheers and applause ] he'sbrilliant!" "wehadno ideayou wereso talented, man." "hi,there." "Herbschwartz." "You, sir, are gonna be a star." ""myhusbandis alsoarobot" is filmed before a live studio" "Audience." "steve,it'syournighttodo" "The dishes." "[roboticvoice]"dishes"" "Does not compute." "My directive is to watch" "Football." "[ wah-wah!" "]" "thatstuntyoupulledonthe subway cost the city $18 million" "In damages!" "Which one of you wants to" "Explain what happened?" "!" "both:" "Notit !" "andthebestactoroscargoes to man-e-faces for "reaching" "Into darkness:" "The story of helen keller's father," "Arthur keller." [sobbing]oh, why ?" "!" "Why is my daughter's hand wet?" "!" "Who put water on my daughter's" "Hand?" "!" "what'snext?" "Show me the new face." "butI onlyhavethree." "whatthehell,man ?" "Your name should be" ""two-more-faces." [sobbing]oh, I'm so [bleep] I signed a 95-picture deal." ""mr." "Monstergoestofart  school" is yet another reheated" "Piece of dog crap from man-e-faces." "don'tgettoodown." "I love "mr." "Monster goes to fart" "School." really?" "no,man." "You fart like a hack." "thisisbuckyo'hare, requesting to land on" "Moonport 4-5." "One sec." "Got to mate again." "[ grunting in distance ] my apologies." "Requesting to land -- whoops." "Matin' time." "warning." "Warning." "Warning." "[ alarm blaring ] [ grunting in distance ] [ boom!" "]" "[ up-tempo music plays ] dad,it'syourson --sam!" "Dad, why did we leave the electricity running in an arcade" "We closed 20 years ago when you disappeared?" "!" "Eh, couldn't hurt." "[ whirring ]" "Ohh!" "It does hurt!" "I was totally wrong!" "I'm so stupi-- aaah!" "Aaah!" "Aaaah!" "Ohhh!" "Ohh." "Wh-where am I?" "you'reinthedigitalworld," "Like a game grid but on pcp!" "I'm koromon, a digimon!" "Digivolve me into a little yellow dinosaur and we can " "Aaaaaaaah!" "dad?" "!" "Da-a-a-a-d!" "[ all murmuring excitedly ] sam!" "Isthatreallyyou?" "didyoucreatethisworld?" "!" "It's amazing!" "Itriedto killmyself,but they won't let me die!" "I curse jesus' name, son!" "I hate god so very, very much!" "Ifoundyou,dad !" "That's what matters!" "Ihadsexwiththem !" "Tokomon was the most gentle, but" "I say that within the context of it being terrible!" "shit,dad!" "Thatisgross!" "butyou'reherenow !" "We can figure a way out together!" "beforeI camehere,Itold  the electric company to turn the" "Power off!" "This whole place is about to" "De-rez!" "[ all crying ] son,itis stillasweet release." "At last, I'll know peace." "ohh!" "This isn't peaceful at all!" "Oh, my god!" "remember,sexed is asafe place to ask questions with no" "Judgment." "Yes?" "You have a question, stretch?" "uh,isit normalwhenyou" "Touch yourself for your penis to get longer and softer and really" "Stringy?" "Because my friend asked me, and" "I was like, "no way, weirdo." "Mine's not like that."" "Unless that's normal." "'cause, yeah, it's not to me," "Right?" "Up high!" "wow!" "The top of mount everest!" "I did it!" "Whew!" "I'm just gonna take a little" "Break, maybe -- ohhhhhhh!" "The top of mount everest just" "Went up my butt!" "allright!" "Awesome!" "patronsofmedievaltimes, your champion, the blue knight!" "mom,look!" "Blue knight, you're my hero!" "why,thankyou,squire!" "All hail the king!" "allhailtheking!" "oh[ bleep]me." "I locked my keys in my car." "hey,youhaveaaa ?" "no,I don'thaveaaa !" "Who the [bleep] do I look like," "Scrooge [bleep] mcduck?" "!" "justtryingto help." "oh,oh,oh ,good." "Good." "Well, let me help you." "Why don't you go find a dick -- yeah -- put it in between two" "Pieces of bread, and then go [bleep] eat it, you [bleep]" "Retard?" "[ grunts ]" "Hey, window, blow me." "Ohhh!" "Ohh!" "Son of a bitch!" "Oh, mother of christ!" "I just broke my hand!" "I don't have health insurance, and I broke my g.D. Hand!" "Ahh!" "There!" "Ha!" "[ grunts ] can't get the [bleep] open!" "Ohh." "Get off!" "Oh, I'm [bleep] wet." "[ engine sputters ]" "No gas?" "!" "Oh [bleep] time to pay it forward," "Butt muffin." "[ slurps ] [ gagging ] oh, that's nasty!" "Oh, I just drank some gas!" "[ hawks phlegm ] [ splat!" "] ew,gross!" "getoveryourself,princess!" "[ engine turns over, tires screech ]" "All hail the king!" "aah!" "oh,shit." "Ikilledthat dude ." "He's dead." "well,guessI'maredknight fan now, mom." "yeah." "Callme "daddy." no!" "Iwastalkingtoher." "willitbe an earlyspringor" "A late winter?" "Only punxsutawney phil knows for" "Sure." "[ rumbling ]" "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" "Get back!" "it'swinter-- awinterlike  you've never seen!" "Run, you fools!" "[roaring] what'sthat,beverly?" "You want wesley to watch?" "Make it so." "Aah!" "[ clears throat ] 2300 hours." "Time for the night crew to" "Relieve us." "Captain." "capitán." "[ mid-tempo rb music plays ]" "♪aw,yeah!" "♪ nightcrewmaytakecourse." "Space -- the final frontier!" "These are the 11:00 p.M. To 7:00 a.M. Voyages of the enterprise's night crew." "Its continuing mission is..." "♪ to partay!" "♪ [ up-tempo dance music plays ] [ record scratching ] chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "Chug!" "captainjake,aborgcube is" "Hailing us." "maybetheywantustoturn" "Down our jams." "Fat chance!" "loweryourshields." "Your culture will adapt to" "Service us." "youwantus to serviceyou ?" "affirmative." "You will service the borg -- all" "Night if needed." "[giggles] wait." "Ourhivemindhas assimilated double entendres." "Real mature, guys." "Prepare for assimilation." "ourshieldswon'tlastlong , sir." "Should we wake up the bald guy?" "[ fizz!" "]" "[gulping] no way, commander lafreak!" "We'll beat the borg just like we beat that frat on gallos-7." "we'llsellnakedphotosof their girlfriends at a" "Pie-eating contest?" "what?" "No!" "Like any frat, the borg share a hive mind, man." "If we get one borg to party, all borg will party!" "Night crew, prepare to rock out with our spocks out!" "[ all cheer ] did somebody order a partygram?" "[ up-tempo dance music playing ] [ all cheering ] [ saxophone plays discordant riff ]" "Wet t-shirt contest!" "Oh, right -- no shirt." "You want mine?" "Oh, chill out, dude!" "Wait -- is she your daughter?" "enough!" "Partyingis futile!" "[groaning] yourblood,so fullofbeer ." "Your party..." "So hearty!" "[ grunting ]" "Whoo-hoo!" "[ all murmuring ] now,thisIcan assimilate!" "captainjake,starfleet thanks you for defeating the" "Borg." "bitchin'!" "nightcre-e-e-e-e-e-w!" "Beer me." "[ laughter ] you glorious sons of bitches!" "[ up-tempo dance music plays ]" "[ saxophone plays discordant riff ]"