"You're not thinking about going to work today, are you?" "Thought I would." "That inhaler really seems to be doing the trick." "What?" "Just take the rest of the week." "Please." "You've earned it." "Don't push it." "Besides, I want you well for the weekend." "Mom wants to party." "It's just a little get-together, that's all." "Sunday afternoon, maybe?" "You know, nothing too big." "Just family and a few friends." "We've got a lot to celebrate." "Don't you think?" "Sounds good." "Oh, thank you." "Now, what are you supposed to do today?" "Nothing." "Excellent." "Brownie points for taking a nap." "Can you meet?" "I thought maybe you might have, you know, kicked." "Signed- Signed off." "I was even checking the obits." "No such luck." "So, um, where does it stand?" "Coughing up blood, giving speeches, you know, like:" ""I deserve this." "I'm an asshole. "" "What's the upshot?" "The upshot." "The upshot is that I have radiation pneumonitis." "Damn." "Actually, it's not as bad as it sounds." "It's a fairly common occurrence, easily treated." "In fact, the news is all good." "What do you mean, good?" "You mean, like, "good" good?" "What, you mean, like, remission good?" "Remission." "Not to imply I'm cured." "I still have cancer." "But there's been a significant reduction in the tumors." "How significant?" "Eighty percent." "Dude." "No way." "Now, I'm not out of the woods yet, not by any stretch, but..." ""options" is the word they keep bandying about." "That's awesome." "Serious?" "That's- That's great, man." "I mean, my aunt, she never- I mean, you know, at your stage," "I didn't think that could happen." "Yeah." "Mr. White, you kicked its ass, yo!" "No." "You must be so psyched." "Of course." "I am." "Okay, now we..." "I mean, what do we...?" "Oh, hey, I almost forgot." "So how do you want to, you know, proceed in light of this kick-ass news?" "We'll take our time and stay cautious." "Sell off what we have." "And then, uh..." "Well, then I guess..." "I'm done." "Batter up." "Um, everyone?" "Hey, you guys." "I would like to make a toast with my non-alcoholic beverage." "Somebody kill the music." "I know one party can't begin to repay all your support and your" "Your many, many kindnesses." "But then again," "Hank does make one mean margarita." "Um..." "We really do want to thank you." "These last few months have been, uh... wow, a challenging time, to put it mildly." "But, um," "I have to say Walt's come through it like a champ." "All right." "Honey, I'm so proud of you." "We all are." "Oh." "Okay, I'm gonna stop with the sappy stuff." "I am." "But it's true." "It really is." "And, um, for the first time in a long time, we are so excited about the future." "Okay, anyway, um, I" "Ooh, I want to also express my gratitude to two very special people who couldn't be here today." "But, um, they send their regrets and their warm wishes." "Gretchen and Elliott Schwartz, for those of you who don't know them, are... um, well, they're heroes." "They are incredibly generous friends who made the amazing offer to pay for Walt's treatment." "And, um, and they did." "So... to Gretchen and Elliott." "To Gretchen and Elliot." "Cheers." "Hey, how about the man of the hour?" "Come on." "Speech." "Yes." "Speech." "Yeah, Dad." "Come on, Walt." "Speech." "Um..." "Ahem." "Well, it's..." "It's kind of funny." "When I got my diagnosis, cancer," "I said to myself, you know:" ""Why me?"" "And then... the other day, when I got the good news..." "I said the same thing." "Ha." "Anyway." "Uh..." "Thank you for coming." "And enjoy." "All right, cheers." "Yeah." "Cheers." "Wow." "Inspirational." "Tell you what." "I gotta give those bastards points for originality." "I'll tell you that much." "A little mercury switch, 9- volt battery, five or six ounces of C-4, that's how those cartel boys party." "Yeah, but, um, why a turtle?" "Oh, that's the best part." "It was a, uh..." "It was a..." "What the hell's the word I'm looking for?" "Not a metaphor, uh, not an analogy, it's a..." "Walt, what's the word I'm looking for?" "Anyway, uh, Tortuga." "Okay?" "That was the name of our snitch." "Bean-speak for tortoise." "Okay?" "Tortoise, turtle, what have you." "I never" " Never knew the difference myself." "Hey, uh, top me off there, will you, buddy?" "Anyway." "Poetic." "I guess, yeah." "Poetic." "It was poetic." "That's the word." "I guess that's the word." "Go ahead." "Better not, uh, let your mom see." "Oh, yeah, I think- I think I see a hair." "Maybe two." "Th" " There's no worm in this, right?" "No, that would be mescal." "Talk about your hangovers, okay?" "Ooh." "I was down in Glynco, Georgia." "I was back east, doing some training." "Had this, uh, firearm instructor who was, uh..." "He was a good old boy, you know?" "Hey." "There you go." "Thanks." "I mean, this guy could put them away like he had two livers, okay?" "Like a fish, okay?" "Like a drunk fish." "We were drinking mescal stupid." "But" " Hey, hey." "Walt, what you doing there?" "What does it look like I'm doing?" "The kid's 16." "What are you going for, Father of the Year?" "What are you looking at him for?" "Hm?" "We're celebrating." "Come on." "That's all right." "No." "Jesus." "Listen, I'd, uh, take a pass on that one if I were you, okay?" "Think we've been bogarting this puppy long enough." "Heh, heh, heh." "Hey." "Bring the bottle back." "Sorry, buddy." "No can do." "It's my son." "My bottle." "My house." "Heh, heh." "It's all right." "What are you waiting for?" "Bring it back." "Why don't we just call it a day?" "All right, pal?" "We good?" "The bottle." "Now." "What's going on?" "Jesus." "Here, sweetie." "Okay." "Okay." "Oh, my God." "Okay." "Okay." "There you go." "Okay." "That's it." "Just get it out." "That's okay." "This is your brain." "This is your brain on drugs." "Wow." "Uh..." "You weren't supposed to wake up." "Ever or...?" "Heh, heh." "No, I was just thinking that I'd bring it, you know, in." "You want me to go back to bed?" "No, I guess that'd be kind of" "Uh, no." "Need some help?" "No, I got it." "Ow." "Ow." "Ow." "Um, just, uh, have a seat." "Is there any coffee?" "Uh, yeah, shit." "Um, one second." "Well, at least let me do that." "No, I don't want you to have to do anything, you know?" "Mm." "All right." "Here." "You take the good one." "It's, um, huevos rancheros." "I can tell." "Yeah?" "Um..." "Fork." "Oh, yeah." "Aha." "There you go." "So, what are you up to today?" "Working?" "Whatever that means." "No." "I'm all yours." "Really?" "Hey, this is Skyler." "Please leave me a message." "Thanks." "Hi." "I just wanted to say that..." "No." "We'll talk tonight, but I..." "I wanted to say that" "I" " I'm not exactly sure who that was yesterday, but it wasn't me, and..." "I'm sorry." "Love you." "Oh, boy." "I just wanted to say that..." "No." "We'll talk tonight, but I" " I wanted to say that..." "Hey there." "Wow, who brought the churros?" "Oh, that would be me." "If I leave them at home," "I'll just wind up eating them all myself, so..." "They're actually- They're leftovers." "We had a little get-together for Walt." "It wasn't his birthday, was it?" "Uh, actually," "Walt's got..." "He's been battling cancer." "Oh, Skyler" "And, um, last week we got good news." "I'm so sorry." "But w-we're really optimistic." "Great." "Great." "Good news is great." "Yeah." "Yeah, it is." "It really is." "Well, um, feel free to bring these any time." "Heh, heh, heh." "Yeah." "Heh, heh." "Got some real beauts." "Mm." "You cannot beat the thermal efficiency of the C3." "Yeah?" "Then again, what about tankless?" "Sure." "We got them." "I mean, the good ones will really run up your price though." "Set you back about, uh, 1200." "Uh." "It's not an issue." "You want installation, right?" "No." "I'm gonna do it myself." "That's what I like to hear." "And who's this?" "This guy can surf without a board?" "Um, that's Hover Man." "He can surf, skate, glide, whatever, because he's always got a 6-inch cushion of air under his feet." "That's cool." "Great lines." "And this guy?" "What's his superpower?" "That's, uh, Kanga-man." "Kanga-man?" "Half-man, half-kangaroo?" "And who's this in his pouch?" "His, uh, sidekick, Joey." "He rides around in his pouch and, you know, fights crime." "So that makes Kanga-man a she." "You know that, right?" "Only female kangaroos have pouches." "Yeah, yeah, I know." "But, you know, it's definitely a dude." "He's a product of experimentation." "He's kind of hot, I guess." "Nice haunches." "And this is?" "It's, uh, Backwardo." "Wait, no." "I actually- I changed it to Rewindo." "Anyways, he goes backwards." "He can make everything go in reverse." "Time and stuff?" "Like time traveling?" "No, he just, um..." "he just walks backwards." "He walks backwards?" "Is that a superpower?" "What good is that?" "No, I mean, he does it, like, really fast." "You know?" "Okay, look, say someone's coming at him with a knife, right?" "I mean, it's helpful." "Then he can just zip backwards away from them." "Okay." "Yo, I was a kid when I drew all these." "It was like four years ago." "They all look like you." "What?" "It's you in all of these." "Nah." "No." "I wonder what a shrink would say if he saw them." "Oh, shut up." "Like you never wanted a superpower." "Is that your door or mine?" "I don't know." "It sounds like mine." "I gotta go." "Where?" "Hey, where?" "Hey, hold up." "Where are you...?" "Jane." "Jane." "Hey, Dad." "Ah, there you are." "Hi, honey." "I saw your car, so I was pretty sure you were home." "Yeah, sorry." "I was working." "I had my headphones on." "Finally realized that I wasn't the drum track?" "Exactly." "Well, I was in the neighborhood." "Was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch." "Sure." "Yeah." "Hey, this, uh, your dad?" "Yes." "Hello." "Hi." "This is the new tenant." "Donald." "Jesse." "I'm sorry." "Did you need something?" "Uh..." "No." "Dad, why don't you come in?" "It was nice seeing you." "It was nice to meet you." "You too." "Hey, Dad." "Oh." "Hey, son." "Heh." "Are you home early?" "No." "Oh, man." "It was a good day?" "Now it is." "Finally, hot water." "No more toxic waste." "Yes." "Yes, indeed." "Top of the line, on demand, unlimited supply." "Sweet." "Yeah." "Hey, want to take her for a spin?" "Oh, yeah." "Heh, heh." "All right." "Listen, why don't you go to the kitchen sink?" "Let me know when you're ready, and I'll give you a holler." "Okay." "Pilot in." "Ignition." "Bingo." "Okay." "Ready." "All right." "Let her rip." "Oh." "Ah." "Hundred and seventeen thousand BTUs." "Oh, yeah?" "Oh, yeah." "Built-in corrosion-resistant draft reducer, safety thermocouple with the pilot burner." "Soun" " Sounds really good, Dad." "And the energy savings." "I mean..." "Ow." "Oh, oh." "Oh, careful, careful, careful." "There's probably some adjustments" "I need to make there." "You okay?" "Yeah, I'm" " I-I'm fine." "Okay." "Son, about yesterday" "I" " I'm sorry about the pool." "No, no, no, that was not your fault." "Not at all." "See, your..." "Your old man embarrassed himself, and I'm not very proud of my behavior." "I have to say I feel very foolish." "Um, you and Uncle Hank, y- you seemed pissed off." "No." "No." "We're fine." "Everything's fine." "I called him this morning and made my apologies." "But, son, I owe you an apology most of all." "I should have used better judgment all around." "Having you drink in the first place, i-it was not right, and for that I-I'm very sorry." "But I kept up, right?" "You and Uncle Hank." "I drank three." "I have some tools to put away." "Hey." "Uh, yo." "You want to catch a movie later?" "Yo." "What?" "What was that all about?" "What?" "Before." "With your dad." "It wasn't about anything." "Oh, okay, so I totally just misread your total dis?" "If anything, I was doing you a favor." "A favor?" "Yeah, I told you." "He's a hard-ass." "He seemed cool to me." "Yeah, well." "So, what's the deal?" "There's no deal." "I was helping you out, okay?" "Protecting you." "How's that?" "I mean..." "I'm letting you smoke in here and everything." "I bought a filter." "And I figured the less he knows, the better." "You acted like you didn't even know me." "So?" "So?" "You think I'm gonna be all like:" ""Hey, Dad, meet the stoner guy who lives next door." "And by the way, I'm sleeping with him"?" "That's all you think you're doing?" "Why do you even care about my dad?" "I don't." "Good." "Then I don't know why we're talking about it." "Us." "All right?" "I'm talking about us." "Us." "Yeah." "You and me." "Who's you and me?" "I'm out of here." "Oh, boy." "Dad?" "Dad?" "Hello?" "What?" "Oh, hey." "What are you doing?" "We've got rot." "Rot?" "Yeah." "Here." "I'll show you." "Here." "Take a look at that." "See that?" "Yeah." "Ever seen anything like it?" "It's wood." "It's wood that contains fruiting bodies." "Fruity what?" "Fungus." "And it is on a rampage." "I" " I don't really see anything." "Yeah, well, it's there." "You just have to know where to look." "Here." "Then you cut it all out." "You just cut it out and start fresh." "Well, better get to it." "I" " Is the whole house gonna collapse or something?" "Not if I can help it." "Hey." "You bucking for a promotion?" "Go home already." "I will." "Um." "I will." "Hey, um, can I just ask, um... the Keller account?" "The Keller account?" "It's listed as a current asset on this balance sheet, but, uh, uh, the invoice was never presented to accounts receivable, so..." "Oh, God." "One of these days I'm gonna just sort through all the Dad stuff." "He had so many, you know," ""Don't worry about it, pay me Friday" relationships with these little companies." "We'll figure it out tomorrow." "Or not." "Heh, heh." "Right." "Ahem." "Seriously, you're not gonna make me lock you in, are you?" "Sky?" "Skyler?" "Jesus." "No, I-I'm fine." "It's hormones." "Honestly." "It happens all the time." "I'll see you tomorrow." "What's wrong?" "I guess it just... doesn't feel any different." "The, uh, good news?" "I mean, nothing's really changed." "It's just postponed." "There was supposed to be a light at the end of the tunnel." "But, um... lately, it just feels like..." "More tunnel." "I'm sorry." "I just feel so damn ungrateful." "I don't know." "For me, it was the flu." "What?" "My dad rallied at the end." "I mean, it wasn't the full-on good news Walt got, different circumstances, but we were happy, we were over the moon." "And, uh, right then, I got sick." "Flu." "Boom." "Knocked me on my ass for days." "Couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't move." "Great timing, huh?" "Yeah." "And I" " I wasn't even putting two and two together." "I was just thinking:" ""Why now?"" "Being that rock." "You know, being that rock takes everything you got." "Yeah." " causing the housing prices to spread." "Foreclosures are being fueled by a spike in..." "The economy is rapidly deteriorating and unemployment is climbing." "With Americans losing money over rising inflation and tight spending, the housing market is unlikely to rebound, spelling more pain for the economy." "Oh." "Yeah." "Mm." "Are you going to work today?" "Skyler, there's rot." "I'm going back." "All right." "We'll take care of that tomorrow." "Okay, good night." "Good night, Ted." "Good night." "Oh, damn." "Mm." "Clumsy." "I got it." "No, no, Ted." "You don't have to do that." "Get organized." "Storage containers to meet every need, big or small, on Aisle 3." "Stashing your stuff has never been so easy." "Get a thicker, fuller lawn in less than six weeks." "Why can't the grass always be greener on your side?" "Go to Aisle 10 to go green." "Get a manager on Checkout 4, please." "Manager to Checkout 4." "Pest problems?" "No problem." "Your extermination destination is Aisle 6." "You're buying the wrong matches." "What?" "Those matches." "They're the wrong kind." "Red phosphorous is found in the striker strips, not the matches themselves." "You need to get the big 200-count box of individual matchbooks." "More striker strips." "You understand?" "Those only have the one." "And don't buy everything in one place." "Do it piecemeal." "Different items, different stores." "Attracts less attention." "Huh?" "Are you following me here?" "You've been putting off refinishing that deck long enough." "We have everything you need to do the job right." "Ha." "Thanks." "Sure." "Next." "Hi." "Here you go." "You didn't buy my stuff?" "No, I didn't." "We don't have time for this." "Hey, there he is." "Th-That's the guy." "Stay out of my territory."