"As promised, I'm showing you a Dutch movie today." "You'll probably pay attention because the movie's about sex." "Don't be distracted by the sexual element, however." "Pay special attention to the unorthodox way the story's told." "The movie's no masterpiece but shows what you can and can't do... with narrative experiments." "Come here." "This is a good position because your left hand... can stimulate both the nipple and the clitoris." "Or the nipple with the mouth and the clitoris with the finger." "There are several possibilities, do you understand?" "Yes, darling..." "What do you want?" "I don't like this waterbed." "I don't like water." "I'm about earth." "You have to come up more with your body." "After insertion, this position is more comfortable for a man." "Also because you can lean on your right elbow and even rest your head." "Depending if you're right-handed or left-handed, of course." "Although some women don't like this position... because it suggests a lack of interest." "And that's not motivating." "I'm not an item from your program." "You put these performance requirements on me that make me insecure." "If you call it insertion one more time, I'll quit." "Tell me what I should call it then." "Don't call it anything." "You'll notice what I do." "If I bite your toe, I bite your toe." "If I sing the national anthem, I sing the national anthem." "My preparedness to fuck has disappeared." "I feel a distance." "I have to rearrange my karma." "I'm doing it for you." "Dutch people and their bed stories." "My girlfriend is the national TV sexologist." "When it comes to sex, everything's allowed in the Netherlands... except children and animals." "In the red light district, only tourists look at naked women... because we all have already seen our neighbours or colleagues naked." "Marriage is only for gays." "In the US, you can't show genitals, but you can show lethal weapons." "You can't show what gives life, but you can show what takes it." "Hard to explain to Martians." "At the most, we'll discuss functional or non-functional nudity in movies." "Some say it's only functional when the story's set in a nudist camp." "Others when it gives viewers the urge to fuck." "In the Netherlands, the human body isn't taboo for most people." "That wasn't always the case." "When the Dutch still believed in God, sex took place in the dark." "And it mainly served procreation." "It's a fact that there's nowhere as much child abuse as in religious communities." "Religion often goes hand in hand with an obsession with sexuality." "In Israel, conservatives rabbis ran onto a nude beach armed with clubs... to chastise their nude fellow-countrymen, blindfolded." "Muslims also have a bizarre attitude towards sex." "But I'm not sure if it's smart to discuss that in public." "You never know." "But have we, unbelievers, stopped talking about sex?" "No, we haven't." "Nor have we finished filming it or writing about it." "Even we, free-thinking polder dwellers, haven't finished with it." "It's still an item with us as well." "And the other five sisters..." "one lives in Sankt-Gallen." "the second one lives in Vaduz..." "The third one lives in Martinique." "Number 4 wants nothing to do with us." "And the fifth one lives in..." "But I digress terribly." "Near Guilla, opposite Moustique." "It's all because my father worked in tramp shipping for 30 years." "Tramp shipping, that's it." "That's what it all comes down to." "And do you have any siblings?" "Or are you an only child?" "I wanted to ask if..." "besides your sister... the other sister..." "or your sister-in-law... if you have another sister from your father's side... who can also be there for you." "But I was a bit too distracted." "Because..." "Because I... wanted to fuck you or something." "Not 'or something'." "I just wanted to fuck." "There's the progeny." "Iris, Joris, Lotje." "Joris, Lotje, Iris." "I'm Lotje and that's Joris." "No way." "Joris, she's on to you already." "I'm not such a good liar." "Where did he get that stupid woman?" "What does it matter?" "As long as she can fuck." "Don't be a creep." "This will be my room." "In your dreams." "This one's reserved." "It's a boys' room." "It shows." "Why?" "It's bigger." "It does matter whether a woman's dumb or not." "She also has to be fun before or after you screw her." "No, men don't give a shit." "What would you know?" "It applies to all men." "When a man says it's not true, he's lying." "When you go into the city and you act like a dumb bitch... they'll still want to lay you." "Because you're hot." "Or seem to be." "No way." "Oh yes." "You talk too much to our politically correct idiot father." "He also comes home with a dumb, horny turkey, even though..." "You're being naive and you know it." "Shall we bet?" "What bet?" "You'll try to be stood up twice in three days..." "If you fail, I'll get the biggest room." "Sick plan." "Four days." "Why four?" "Why three?" "The weekend." "Today, tomorrow and Sunday." "I'm a girl, so I get my way." "The rules are simple." "You'll go out every night, dressed sexy and all." "As if you're looking for a guy." "You've got these things hanging there." "And you'll behave... as dumb as you can." "Even dumber than normal." "Yes, get to the point." "You'll approach a guy and if he'll reject you because you act stupid... you'll score a point." "Assuming what you say is true..." "why is that?" "Why are higher educated women less prudish than lower educated women?" "The higher educated, the better trained at independent thinking... the more intelligent, the more curious." "All these factors contribute..." "Very clear." "Approved?" "Yes, great." "Not too vulgar, not too Romanian whore?" "No." "Besides, you know you'll act so dumb, they won't want you anyway." "So it matters fuckall what you're wearing." "You have a point." "Bye." "Good morning." "Good morning, people." "Jesus, Joris." "So you didn't score a point." "Can we have some privacy?" "What?" "I live here." "But not for much longer." "We're going to move." "That's great." "I don't know about that, but I think I'll get a great room." "What's your name?" "Taco." "I asked what your name is, not what you eat." "Did you fuck her?" "Yes, it was quite good." "Spare me the details, she's my sister." "What's that shirt?" "What?" "Just a shirt." "A non-existent brand non-model." "Looks bad." "I'll teach you." "Non-existent brand." "That's a good stupid comment." "Why do you write it down then?" "I save them." "I have to hear it and see it." "To check whether you follow the rules." "If you call the guy names or burp in his face like you used to..." "When you're watching, I can't do it." "We're about to find out." "And gays, distant relatives and senior citizens don't count." "Perverted peeping Tom." "Hello." "Hello... ok." "Are those brand shirts?" "Of course." "I love brand shirts." "Tell me." "A guy with a shirt from a non existent brand's less interesting." "You're in luck then, honey." "We happen to be guys who wear real brand shirts." "Hold this." "And a good brand." "Men are sick." "Now, now." "I can't handle this." "Come on, you're not a sissy." "That's true." "When I wear this, I feel like prey that the wolves are after." "Are you going to sleep?" "No." "I think it's dumb." "All about that stupid room." "Do you want to spend the night in a broom closet?" "The end justifies the means." "It's ridiculous and I feel sorry for your sister." "Because she doesn't stand a chance." "Two more days, score zero." "What are you doing?" "I'm writing." "For tonight?" "Yes." "What's happening tonight?" "Are you in a band or something?" "Puke?" "Vomit?" "I thought I might know you from something." "Is that your girlfriend?" "No, just a friend." "Would she have tampons on her?" "No..." "I don't know." "Do you have your period?" "I just felt this cramp." "Real skippers also sail the Red Sea." "It's about soul, humour and intelligence." "And for the rest, it's all good." "I've got a paperclip through my cunt." "But I don't make a big deal of it." "A paperclip." "I think women with a paperclip through their cunt are nuts." "Well, if that's your thing." "Never mind." "I know how I'll decorate my room." "I'll put my bed on the long side." "I'll put the fridge next to the door." "Hi..." "I'd like to be screwed until I bleed." "I have to add I'm not a pacifist myself in bed." "I was just stood up." "I had all these plans with him, but..." "He didn't want it." "I guess losers count too." "I'm in top form!" "I wrote some great text." "Fuck." "I give blow-jobs to homeless guys." "I think that's a social thing to do." "I'm strange that way." "Right." "You're right, I'll change the subject." "I think Negros are incredibly stupid." "Thick as as brick." "Or is that an old-fashioned expression?" "Do you happen to have any pills on you?" "No, sorry." "Sorry, I've got to pee." "Can you bring me some mild cigarettes?" "Hi." "Hi." "Want to bet 300 Euros you can't pick up that woman in the yellow dress?" "Are you serious?" "Yes." "400." "350." "I have to pay that guy 350 Euros, so I have to deliver some more pizzas." "Yes, get on your little scooter with your asexual little helmet." "I'm breaking up with you anyway." "See?" "You also only judge people by their looks." "Not at all, you're being dumped for your character." "Yeah, right." "I'll become a lesbian." "What do I owe you?" "33.70." "Make it 34." "Thanks, bye." "Bye." "Let's see, who else is there?" "Madonna." "Yes, who thinks Madonna's hot?" "She looks like a guy with those muscles." "I completely disagree." "I agree." "You can just as well get a real guy." "We've got Moroccan neighbours." "Really?" "We see things sometimes." "Better brace yourself, honey." "Against prejudice?" "It's more than that." "Nothing wrong with prejudice in itself." "Like gays who are always screaming that dykes are unhygienic." "Or boring." "Or stingy, don't they say that?" "Or can't cook." "How about those pizzas?" "Yes, what about them?" "I paid last time." "We shared one pizza." "My colleague's also a dyke." "She lives in West." "You wouldn't believe it." "Do they call her names?" "Whore this, whore that, pissing in the mailbox... they throw in the windows and the police don't do a thing." "They drive them up the wall." "There are good ones too." "Don't get me wrong." "Good policemen?" "Two pitfalls in this part." "Number one is the form." "The needless switching between colour and black and white." "As if the creator says "Look, I can use different visual styles"." "Nothing's easier than copying a visual style." "You should be able to do that in your second or third year." "Pitfall number 2: a big, amateurish casting mistake." "The entire movie is an exhibition of beautiful women." "That doesn't help the credibility of the movie." "The average person isn't as beautiful as portrayed here." "Just look at the person sitting next to you." "Speak for yourself, dude." "We're above average here." "I wonder if the family downstairs realise we're dykes." "Yes, maybe they don't know." "I think we should be clear about it." "Otherwise we'd be cowards." "Waiter?" "Dear neighbour!" "As you may have heard, we've just... moved in above you." "What's the latest news?" "Any problems with the... neighbours?" "Nothing concrete..." "or maybe there was." "When we walk past, just the two of us..." "the way they look at us..." "One way ticket to hell for the 2 whores." "Something like that." "Sometimes they're friendly." "Like that baker with the beard." "When you buy half a loaf, everything's fine." "But when it's the two of us..." "and we're French kissing a bit... blind hatred." "They often have two faces." "She would love to be us." "Nice with the sun on your skin." "Vitamin A." "But she walks around with an entire clothes shop, in this weather." "They lose hair from it." "And they get eczema." "From too little sunlight." "In our society, women don't have to dress prudishly... but men have to keep their hands to themselves." "That's an essential principle." "If I want to be in my park in my town with bare tits, I'll do that." "I won't have two crazy white tits because they live here and are offended." "Me neither." "A little detail is that you can't have white tits." "You're a Negro." "It's the principle, it's my country." "Besides, we invited the Moroccan neighbour... and she's coming tomorrow at 3 pm." "She shoved a note under the door." "In pretty good Dutch." "Good on her for accepting." "Often these slightly independent women are killed by their husbands." "Or by a brother." "Or they pour acid over them, if they're lucky." "So..." "Hello." "Hello, neighbour." "My name's Froukje." "How?" "Froukje, with an F." "This is Babs." "Hi, I'm Babs, short for Barbara." "I'm Karima, short for Karima." "Your husband left early this morning," "Yes, he wants to beat the traffic." "And you can sleep in." "No, I can't, I have children." "I have to take one to day-care and the other one's in group three." "I start at 10 am myself." "You work?" "Yes, in the women's shelter." "Women hide from their men there." "Do you want coffee?" "But don't you miss something as lesbians?" "In what sense?" "Well... you know." "We just buy that." "I can show you something." "No, some other time." "That might be my husband." "I left a note that I'm here." "Good afternoon, ladies." "Hello." "We've been getting to know each other." "Perfect." "And have you been approved as new neighbours?" "I think so." "Haven't we?" "We've been invited to their wedding in August." "They're getting married." "Which men have the privilege?" "We're getting married to each other." "They're a couple." "Ok, that's also an option." "It just takes some getting used to." "Yes, it takes a little bit of getting used to." "We'll be there." "Great." "Are you coming with me?" "I don't know how it works with the rice." "He's all thumbs." "Thanks ladies, it was nice." "Come over for a chinwag when you feel like it." "Chinwag?" "Yes, a coffee and a chat." "Oh, a chinwag, of course." "Not about me, I hope." "No, of course not, bye." "Bye." "That was almost science fiction." "I like their blinds." "They're on special at IKEA." "Dirty lesbos!" "Idiot, the neighbours." "Fuck the neighbours." "You've had sex." "I don't think so." "I was pissed but I don't think so." "Why are you in bed naked with another woman?" "Coincidence?" "Sorry." "Epilesbian fucking whore!" "Relax, have a cigarette." "You're stressed because you couldn't smoke on the plane." "No, because you always cheat on me." "I'll get out so you can lie here." "You must be tired after that trip." "How was Israel?" "It's still there, as promised." "Were you careful with the sun?" "Especially with white skin like yours." "Before you know it, you'll get skin cancer." "She's not very cheerful, is she?" "She's not really like this." "Pull a happier face." "This isn't a good look." "I wouldn't know why." "Because you had a great holiday." "Because you're seeing me again." "Next to another woman." "Yes, next to another woman." "But still." "Shall we call the tools?" "And stay home?" "Do you like spaghetti, Tool number 2?" "Yes." "Do they have Italian restaurants in Transylvania, Tool number 2?" "Yes." "Luna." "No, they closed down." "Luna closed down?" "Luna closed down." "Finished." "Closed." "Roma." "Pizza Roma." "No." "Gypsy." "Gypsies in jail." "Gypsies." "Gypsies." "Music." "What's this?" "You're blocking the view!" "Just when it gets interesting." "Filthy stinking whore!" "I'll fuck you in your Hollywood ass." "Did Luna really close down?" "Yes." "Yes." "Don't you find it dangerous?" "Why?" "That they might steal stuff." "I can recommend it and it doesn't cost a cent." "I don't mean to talk dirty but do they have big dicks?" "No, they have blood dicks." "Some men have a small dick that grows a lot when it's working." "And others have a big floppy dick and that's a flesh dick." "Right, dirty talk while I'm eating." "I didn't start it." "What do you want now?" "Beatrijs, be nice." "Come to mummy." "What have you got?" "I found this." "That's violence, it's bad." "Where did you get that semen?" "Anonymously." "But then you don't know what you'll get." "He could be Saddam Hussein's." "How do you do it?" "With help from the tools?" "And give birth to an introverted Balkans midget?" "In a tracksuit." "Genetically speaking, you'd get a pick pocketing homo." "Well, we're not going to take the risk." "We've already got our eye on someone." "Thousands of years ago, the evolution of man went behind lock and key." "No emotions." "You're cool and proud." "And suddenly: metro man." "I say David Beckham." "I say... doesn't matter." "The role pattern between man and woman disappeared." "You can hug each other." "You can be sweet, be weak, cry, show emotions." "I'm afraid." "Women like that too." "Don't forget that." "You're doing it together." "Narcissism." "I'm only thinking of myself." "That's nice." "That's giving, that's cool." "Then you're a metro man." "Hi, darling." "How did it go today?" "Here, this one." "My husband thinks I'm too chubby." "Should I lose weight?" "What do you think?" "If anyone knows whether you're too fat, it's your husband." "He's been looking at that fat ass for years, so I'd start with a liposuction." "Don't forget you're answering in my name." "People should be taken seriously by the national sexologist." "Then the national sexologist should answer her own emails." "Don't worry, they're all reasonable." "There's one that you have to read." "It's heartbreaking." "About a woman who's been investing in her relationship for years." "But she's hitting a rational wall." "Her husband doesn't bounce or level with her." "Both sexually and emotionally." "How can two adult partners be that disconnected?" "Pien and Hillie asked if we're coming for brunch tomorrow." "Isn't it good to have our lesbian friends?" "So we can show others we don't have a problem with it." "But you agree that those two are sick, don't you?" "Sick, bad, unnatural." "Apparently, they want to make us a proposition." "The tools aren't an option?" "No, they're way too short." "And too foreign." "It's strange but I also feel honoured." "I have to get used to the idea." "It's strange." "Does strange mean no?" "Strange isn't the point." "I see strange things every day." "I don't find anything strange." "But why Fred?" "A half-breed?" "Mixed people are always healthier and stronger, just like with dogs." "Mongrels also always get older than purebred dogs." "We want our child to have a long life." "And a quart-blood gets a nice colour." "Why don't you use a full negro?" "Now you're getting fifty-fifty." "They can have these features." "Not that you really have that, but the coin can also drop the wrong way." "Thank you." "So?" "Artificial insemination has become accepted." "I wasn't really thinking of artificial." "It seems so cold." "Yes, artificial insemination's kind of cold." "I can understand that you don't want..." "Hey, a crocodile." "Ok, that's good." "Next position." "Imagine... not for real..." "What if it was a trio or a foursome and that hepatetically..." "Hypothetically." "Hepatitis is an illness." "...that the child is conceived hypothetically." "Even hypothetically, I won't fool around with a dyke." "Women who are into women aren't very much into personal hygiene, by the way." "They're all dirty, without exception." "Or am I generalising?" "You're seeing it too black and white." ""Too black and white" and then he switches to colour." "It's sickening, but the creator's playing with the medium." "Don't do this at home, future movie makers." "Don't get distracted and pay attention to the structure." "Ignore the little tricks with the form." "Ok, there we go again." "I'm not much of a morning smoker." "Why don't you let them ask for help in your program." "This donor business is on your mind, isn't it?" "I'm just trying to help you." "We have a team of eight people." "Here, I'm having a shower." "Isn't it nice to have a guy who thinks and feels along with you?" "Who does everything with you?" "Aren't we sort of sisters?" "If we had agreed, which of the two would you have wanted?" "They're two lezzies." "So?" "They still have a cunt." "Is that so?" "Just believe me." "I'm the national sexologist." "The whole idea of conception's fascinating." "Billions of sperm cells all participating in a race... fantastic." "Conception is a matter of huge coincidences." "If my great-great-great granddad hadn't met my great-great-great grandma... at some medieval market, I wouldn't have been here." "Three cooked turnips, please." "That's two pennies." "Shall I pull it out in time?" "That's alright." "It's all fine with me." "Then I'll leave it in." "Otherwise it's like going to church... and leaving before the singing starts." "That's a good comparison." "Yes, isn't it?" "If, in the primordial ocean, some hermit crab hadn't... moved a little rock that led to the embryo of a primordial mollusc... and then to all kinds of vertebrate or, invertebrate, oviparous species... then someone like Johan Struif Bontkes hadn't been born." "Johan Struif Bontkes, the ex-football player?" "He's an author." "Was it as bad as you feared, Johan?" "No, it was ok." "To be asked about your sex life on TV..." "I'm tempted to answer honestly." "And that suits me just fine." "I understand that." "I look a bit like myself again." "I can't look too good on TV or housewives can't identify with me." "This way I can go to a bar at night, incognito, like a hot chick." "Completely incognito is impossible, of course." "There's always some drunk who starts crapping on to you." "You must have that even worse than me." "How do you get rid of them?" "My strategy is to mentally translate it simultaneously in Italian." "That way I spend my time practicing." "Do you know Italian?" "I should do that with German." "Think of my Sexualverfahren." "But you have to admit it was fun today." "You should give me your mobile number." "I'm sure that when I drive away, I'll remember something funny." "Something you could use." "It was live, Johan." "That's true." "Then we'll just have a drink." "Don't you think?" "Deal." "Johan Struif Bontkes." "The author, in the flesh." "I've enjoyed it for many hours." "Provocative and endearing." "That was the intention." "The poetry, the prose..." "Shall I sign it?" "I write too." "It's still early days." "Should I write anything special?" "Could you add something to the autograph?" "Poetic... epilogue..." "Da bin ich ja gespannt." "Johan, hallo." "Hi." "Remember us?" "Yes, I do." "The Book Ball, two years ago." "Marie-Lou misbehaved badly." "Excuse me?" "And what about you?" "What did we do again?" "We'll explain in a bit." "I'm signing my book here." "Come, Johan." "He'll be right back." "And we have a question." "A rather delicate question." "As long as it's decent." "Yes." "You can keep your underpants on." "Or your swimming trunks." "Be serious." "The thing is..." "We've got a very good friend." "Well, not that good." "She's turning 40 in 2 weeks." "She looks 50, but anyway." "We thought it would be fun if you jumped out of a cake." "Jumped out of a cake?" "Of course I'll do that." "You don't have to say yes right away." "But we won't leave until you do." "So I already can't get out of it." "No, you're already in the cake." "And it's in Het Gooi." "Close to where you live." "You live in Het Gooi, don't you?" "Yes, I do." "Fun, isn't it?" "Yes, great fun." "And we'll have a lot of fun afterwards too." "We'll have to get the size right." "Tomorrow." "Yes." "No." "You're so tall." "Inner leg 83." "You're much shorter on TV." "Turn around." "Shoulders 50." "We had trouble choosing between a beautiful, tall negro and you." "I'm very honoured." "Tomorrow's the big day, Johan." "I'm afraid so." "Hello?" "Yes." "I know." "You've already told me that." "I'll be with you in an hour." "7 o'clock sharp." "Is it warm in the room?" "I'll be wearing swimming trunks." "I don't know that either." "A10 and then..." "Roundabouts, yes." "No, call me back in half an hour." "I have to do something." "Bye." "Second chance?" "Give me that book." "I'm also from Groningen." "You're kidding." "No, it's true." "My Gronings isn't perfect." "Have a drink, sit down." "Don't you mind?" "What do you mean?" "Well..." "Have a seat." "Yes?" "Rozemarijn." "Johan." "I know." "Do you often go here?" "I used to go here with Harry Mulisch." "You read more than I, by the sound of it." "Answer it." "Not important." "We're talking." "Never mind." "I mainly read things I like." "That applies to most people, Rozemarijn." "Yes, that's true." "That sounded a bit stupid." "From your mouth, not so stupid." "Are you ever bored?" "How do you mean?" "Now, for instance." "Whether you bore me?" "That too." "But more whether you feel like doing something fun." "What do you feel like?" "Go for a drive?" "Why not?" "My husband has a midlife crisis." "How old is he then?" "Almost fifty." "Almost as old as you." "He's young compared to me." "No..." "How old are you?" "I'm 24." "When I met him, I was 20." "He was in his mid 40s." "One of those older men who are into younger girls." "I like that you're into older men, although..." "Ok." "Do you ever do crazy things?" "Crazy?" "I almost did something crazy tonight..." "Some women wanted me to go to the birthday of their friend and... jump out of a cake in swimming trunks." "If there's a benefit match for a deceased fire fighter after the... earthquake in Limburg, I'll be there." "If the zoo gets new polar bears..." "I'll start the ceremony." "I can't say no." "I shouldn't do it, of course." "You should jump out of a cake, not me." "I do regret that I didn't show up." "I've jumped out of everything." "Cars, huge presents..." "I was a body model and I made very good money." "How do you become a body model?" "You just..." "Don't tell me." "I don't want to know." "Oh dear." "Can we have another bottle of red?" "And then back to the middle." "Salsa..." "Nonsense." "I don't know that." "Then we'll do the meringue." "That's easier." "I'm too old for that." "The word alone!" "In the Dominican Republic, they have masters who are way over 80." "Twice as old as you." "Twice as old as me means 145." "Charmer..." "Charmeuse." "Female." "It's late, isn't it?" "Yes, do you want to go home?" "That's not why I said it..." "I feared as much." "I've been here once in the past..." "You're bad, Johan." "Well, hotel man..." "I don't feel good doing this." "For a thousand reasons..." "Do you want to go?" "No, we're here now." "Hello." "Hey, Mr Struif Bontkes." "Don't you recognise me?" "I was in your son Pavel's class." "And I've been to your place." "I was about 12." "Ask Pavel." "My name's Michael." "Michael, I'll say hello from you to Pavel." "My mother reads all your books." "It's extra interesting because she recognises many things." "And she knows your wife." "Is she from that dress shop." "Near the roundabout." "I like your mother." "I'll check you in." "What a funny coincidence." "Room 65." "Thank you." "And... wait a second." "Can I take a picture?" "Do you read foreign books in translation or in the original versions?" "That depends..." "The translation and the original." "A bit of both." "I always try to read the original." "You lose a lot in the translation." "Yes." "Do you want my T-shirt?" "No, I sleep better naked." "And it's better for you." "Now what?" "Better for the atmosphere, I bet." "For everything." "Your health, nothing gets squeezed..." "My parents always used to eat naked." "No!" "At home that is." "Yes." "My husband also sleeps naked at home." "But in winter, he keeps his socks on." "Socks..." "Yes, some men do that." "They think it's hot." "He still has a pretty good body." "Your husband?" "Yes, and a good weathered face." "And he always whines about his age." "I guess that's normal." "So there's nothing wrong with him." "No, he's quite alright." "I have some salsa here." "Want to try it?" "As in listen?" "No, as in dance." "We'll use earpieces." "Dance?" "I really can't do it, not like this." "It's a bit difficult with all the wires." "No, a body model." "That's pretty intimidating!" "Yes..." "Let's stop this." "It's not working." "But I'm not scary at all." "I'm sweet." "How should I put it, Rozemarijn?" ""You're very young."" "Yes, that's a legitimate comment." "I could answer:" "Isn't that a good thing?" "25..." "I'm not even sure if you're 20." "I'm 24." "As good as..." "My husband's 50." "Almost as old as you." "But you have a husband... and a child." "I should have jumped out of a cake." "I loved the flirting and it's biologically justifiable..." "But for real, that's another story..." "For real's for real." "That's a fact." "Shall we go to sleep then?" "That's the other extreme..." "It always slips out..." "I have an idea." "It's called the terrible saw." "How did it go again?" "The other leg." "Relax, kid." "We have plenty of time." "The circumstances... the rigmarole of..." "It doesn't matter, kid." "Right... do you believe it yourself?" "Life's a fiasco." "That's the thing." "This is the least I can do for you." "Is it good?" "Yes." "Johan, I think you're very sweet." "I was thinking..." "I just got this idea." "We got new glass in our house." "New glass?" "Yes." "Have you got a big garden?" "Yes, a nice garden." "Have you got a dog?" "Yes." "What's he called?" "Nimrod." "Do you walk him?" "Three times a day." "Alright, that was the first part." "After the break, we'll watch part two of this movie." "I don't understand why you're showing us this movie." "Just for the narrative structure?" "You don't think it's a good movie." "A mechanic learns his trade by working on a broken car." "It's that simple." "I thought it was a good movie." "A bit silly at times." "And a lot of unnecessary sex." "But it's a movie about sex." "In a movie about penguins, you see penguins." "You can also show a suggestion." "You can also suggest penguins." "Those actors just now weren't really having sex." "That's make-believe, isn't it?" "What irks me is that he doesn't tackle important themes regarding... sexuality in our society." "Which are the important themes?" "Women trafficking, new sexism, the fact men don't take no for an answer anymore." "Men don't take no for an answer anymore?" "The fact that man conclude, from the fact that a woman flirts with them... that they have the right to penetrate her with their tongue or penis." "And that's date rape." "It happens more and more." "And he bypasses that topic in the movie." "I find that strange." "That's not what the movie's about." "Damn, all those hot women in the movie." "I have to take it out on someone." "On the defenceless of this society." "Hey, little dick!" "Can't you piss somewhere else?" "Asshole!" "I'm going to abuse some women." "If I don't do it, someone else will." "Why does the multicultural society always turn me on?" "I don't get it." "Let's see which race we'll pick today." "A white woman!" "With a bow!" "Hello, Miss." "Failed matrushka!" "Do you want to join the EU or what?" "SCENE ONLY SUITABLE FOR 21 Y/O AND OLDER due to extreme violence against a woman" "Man is the victim." "Women are bad and sinful." "Bad and sinful, bad and sinful..." "TO DOWNLOAD THIS ANIMATION GO TO WOMENARESINFUL.NL" "What a great save!" "What a volley!" "Put that ball down." "What a great dribble." "The goalie has the ball." "He bounces it on the ground." "Good curve ball." "He's going to score." "I can feel it!" "I love women who like football." "Could it be true about the stronger and the weaker sex?" "Apologies, I had to buy something for Mother's Day." "That's why I'm a bit late." "Tighten your seatbelts." "Here we go again." "We'll continue with non-functional nudity." "Followed by a racist joke." "Doofus." "My man." "My bear!" "The first association with a bear is 'animal' and 'dark'." "Polar bears?" "They're the exception." "In that case, I would have said 'ape'." "Something else." "Maybe a strange question, but..." "When I came in with Rozemarijn... what was the first thing you noticed?" "That I was an old fart compared to your daughter or that I was black?" "Neither I guess." "The first thing we noticed was that you have an open face." "I think this is a dumb conversation." "That I was black, was that positive, negative or neutral?" "Or did you like it?" "Not like 'yay, he's black', but..." "More like 'great'." "Yes." "What were your associations, Bart?" "None." "Come on, Bart." "Nothing, really." "Come on!" "Come on, Bart." "Which associations should I have then?" "You must have thought something." "Ineke liked it." "She was 19 and pregnant." "You must have thought something." "If only that an Afro Amsterdammer must have a 30 centimetre dick." "Right, bye." "We're going to have a serious talk with Chris." "So?" "We may have a big time new account." "'May', it's not certain." "What account is that?" "Fosra International." "Congratulations." "'May', it's not certain." "We have to convince them." "And you're going to do that." "Because..." "Because that feels like the way to go." "Because you're experienced." "I'm a bit over the hill." "Doesn't matter." "Let's talk about big tits now." "Waiter!" "I want pancakes." "We don't have pancakes." "They made pancakes at the day centre." "Now she always wants pancakes." "What?" "So they realise they need you." "While they're in charge, all I can do.." "is think of slogans for Brussels sprouts... while they're acting like lazy children from New York to Cape Town." "The entire advertising world's ruled by retarded wiz kids." "But when it becomes serious, the real men can do the job." "White?" "Your ring, dick." "Want to blow away my dick ring?" "Let's stay focused, guys." "In short?" "No nonsense, complete package, accessibility towards us." "And what's that in English?" "Approachability." "Towards us..." "They're here." "That customer..." "He was a negro too." "Nice." "Nice?" "How do you explain it then?" "I always get these shitty jobs... and when I get my first serious job, the customer's a Negro." "So he's wondering if he's being judged by the correct criteria." "Whether he was chosen because of his pigmentation." "The actor should be wondering if he was cast correctly." "I think it's rather unlikely that a 17 year old actress is constantly... in bed with men who are 30 to 40 years older." "Miss?" "But isn't it about a midlife crisis?" "Yes, the director's." "He's 42, but looks 50." "He has thin red hair and he's 1m60." "He's a big, pathetic old nerd." "It's like a Woody Allen movie, where the protagonist's also always surrounded... by beautiful, young women and tries to make that believable." "It's ridiculous." "Nice man, that Tyrone, isn't he?" "Do you think so?" "Yes, a nice open face." "Can I have 2 mochas and a coffee for Chris' room?" "I'll only think he's a nice man if we get his account." "Chris, man." "Good guy, that Tyrone, right?" "Do you think so?" "I think he's above all a tough business man." "Economics rule!" "We'll play that game too. won't we?" "Waiter, beer!" "What's wrong with daddy?" "Tell mommy." "Do you dig Negroes or do you dig me?" "3/4 of my exes was white." "Or whitish at least." "You're just insecure because you have to prove something." "So you start to doubt yourself." "I've never had stage fright before." "I always took the penalties when we played football." "I've never had a fear of failure over something like this before." "But now you do." "And this is the moment in the script... when you've just heard the Sermon on the Mount, come back down... sit down together and realise... you love him." "But no gays, right?" "No." "There are many parallels with Judas' story." "In the sense that Judas loved that man a whole lot." "Which man?" "Jesus, dick." "Jesus' dick?" "No, the Lamb of God, of course." "Judas loved that man with all his heart and that made it even more painful... that he ended up betraying the Son of God." "He betrayed him too?" "Jesus, what an asshole." "Although it is funny that his name's Judas." "Why?" "Isn't that an expression?" ""What a Judas!"" "Anyway, I think it's a clever idea." "Thank you." "In those days, me and some other actors had been hired by a Christian station... to act in a bible story." "Times were slow." "And Christians were said to always pay well and fast." "As long as they didn't mind hiring a bunch of heathens... we were quite happy." "What are you on about?" "You play the Virgin Mary. "Virgin"." "No, I play Mary Magdalene." "She was a prostitute." "That's not what the script says." "Maybe because it's for Christian children, dick." "Dick?" "Dick?" "Talking about dicks..." "That day was the first time I saw her." "She received a text message." "She was in her own world, laughing." "I was in shock." "She was exactly how I'd design a woman." "I didn't want to know a woman like this existed." "It makes you unhappy." "It may not be left-wing or noble to put so much importance on looks, but... that's how it is." "My politically correct mother always called it a choice of partners... on improper grounds when I had pretty girlfriends." "But I have to get a fright each time the girl looks up." "Even if I've seen her face a thousand times already." "I'm a healthy heterosexual and that's nothing to be ashamed about." "I saw her often the following days." "She lived in the neighbourhood, apparently." "It's hard to explain what she looked like." "She was a monster, so beautiful." "She had a unique profile with a pointed little nose and... a little smile that girls used to have in old Czech movies." "A smile that would keep you awake at night." "Damn it." "Lex, please." "Don't worry, this will be the best Sermon on the Mount ever." "I can't improvise, can I?" "No, you can't." "Sorry but this is so illogically written." "I doubt that, because it's the literal text from the bible." "I also do commercials part-time and... if the copywriter produces something that doesn't come across... they send him back to his laptop." "Why on earth do I have a blond beard?" "People were very black in those days." "Well, according to the story..." "Jesus was blondish." "He had sand coloured hair." "No, in Africa they see him as a negro." "And in Korea he has slant-eyes." "Can't I play a slant-eyed Jesus?" "Jesus... was a blond man." "Darn." "Damn it!" "Damn it, man!" "café au lait 1 tuna salad 1" "I had a café au lait and a tuna salad." "That's 4.50." "Make it 5." "Suddenly the monster was there." "She wanted to pay while I was having a cigarette at the bar." "I had a non-lethal cardiac arrest." "I had to come up with a line." "It was the worst one possible." "These days, you pay in Euros what you used to pay in guilders." "Ain't it?" "It's getting out of hand." "Sure." "Especially for a poor actor like me." "A tosti costs a fortune." "You're an actor?" "Me?" "Yes." "I play roles." "Playing and acting's basically the same thing." "Do you also play in movies?" "Yes, also." "I have a part in a historical series at the moment." "I have to pick up my child from the day-care centre." "Day-care centre." "They say it's no longer affordable." "Yes, it's rather expensive." "She must think I was obsessed with the cost of living." "But it didn't matter anyway." "She was taken." "She even had a child." "I'm sick." "I think I have to puke." "Maybe you shouldn't play Jesus, when you're drinking." "They can't fire you anyway." "There's no bible story without Jesus." "Shit, I don't think I can stop it." "Maybe you should swallow it." "Yes, why don't you swallow it?" "Yuck, can you handle it?" "And bam!" "Very well done, Wim." "I'm very happy." "But let's do it one more time." "I want you to look at him... and I want to see you think "that's typical of my brother"." "We're brothers." "We're brothers." "Now he tells us." "We don't understand what we're playing." "The script always mentions the Lamb of God that's in the temple." "What's that about?" "There is no lamb in the entire movie." "We have a goat." "Just call it the Goat of God." "Does that temple belong to the Jews, the Christians or the Romans?" "Sorry, I don't get it." "So I'm Christ?" "Jesus." "But you were talking about Jews." "Yes, well..." "That's driving me nuts." "It's like in the news." "No, the news..." "Those guys with coasters on their heads and weirdoes with tea towels." "Over some old stones." "Can't you explain to us what we have to do and with which intention." "which intention?" "Yes, come on." "Take a break of a couple of minutes." "Have a coffee or something." "I was growing into my role as Disciple." "But I was still thinking of the monster girl." "That story hadn't ended yet." "It actually just got interesting." "Hi." "Hi." "Pretty good lock." "Yes, more expensive than the bike." "I didn't know what to do or say." "I almost regretted that I hadn't continued walking." "I have to buy ingredients for pancakes." "That's not a bad thing, is it?" "For my daughter." "That play you're in..." "are there still tickets available?" "It's not a play, it's a TV series." "Oh, really?" "I thought it was a play." "No, it's a TV series." "Playing a role... sounds like a play." "But it is a TV series." "I would have liked to go on Saturday." "Saturday?" "Saturday it was." "I had invited her for dinner at my place... without asking for crucial information." "Was there a man with that child?" "Or was she part of the army of single mothers?" "That's what I was thinking about for the three days before the date." "My daughter's with grandma." "The father's on a survival weekend." "This is my first free Saturday in ages." "So she had a man." "And I had to look at her all evening." "This is nice." "I decided to see her like a wood log." "I couldn't see her for what she really was." "Do you want your cherries in the middle?" "Alright." "There you go." "Nice." "Nice isn't it?" "Yes." "So my husband's on a survival weekend." "Yes, you mentioned that." "Hanging of ropes and all that." "Good for body and mind." "Good for his midlife crisis." "How old is he, if I can ask?" "45... 46." "Isn't that too young for such a..." "crisis?" "It's exactly the age." "And I'm 24." "In case you wanted to ask." "It's still early." "Yes?" "And then we basically did it." "You're kidding." "When I woke up, she was the first thing I saw." "I felt many feelings at the same time." "Disbelief, gratitude, shame, a headache as well." "Of course we'd drunk enough to give ourselves an alibi." "I took the time to look at the sleeping miracle." "Her beauty was as monstrously beautiful as her face." "Her body was civilised yet exciting." "The kind of legs you see in commercials for depilatory cream." "She had the most beautiful buttocks on the planet." "You wouldn't even want to park your bike between most women's buttocks." "But her buttocks were world champions." "And her profile with the long eyelashes and the little pointed nose..." "Pinocchio's beautiful little sister, so to speak." "The ultimate master piece by Geppetto." "Fortunately, she wasn't made of wood." "Although her head felt like wood, due to all the alibi wine of last evening." "Was I a diversion for a bored housewife or was there more?" "And would I mind just being a diversion?" "Not at that moment, at least." "We left the city, where no one could see us." "To get some fresh air in the forest." "Idiot." "Have you got a girlfriend or anything?" "No." "No, I'm single." "I'm a single man." "Isn't that a great time, when you're single?" "If I could do it all over again..." "Then what?" "I would have stayed single longer." "But some things you never forget." "You mean your child?" "Interests and things." "He wanted security, because of his age." "Then you think you're strange for thinking that." "That you're a bad mother." "Why?" "Isn't it quite normal?" "That's true." "You read or hear about it more often." "But you lose a lot in exchange." "In terms of freedom." "Yes, freedom's fun." "Lots of fun." "I was walking 10 metres above the ground." "I was allowed to caress the monster and she ate out of my hand." "Or I out of hers rather." "I felt like a hysterically happy character from a... romantic French sucky movie." "But I was in love with someone else's wife." "I kept telling myself it was her choice." "And that I only had a passive role." "That way I could justify everything to myself." "Until the moment I was confronted with reality." "I saw her from the tram, with her husband and her child." "My heart sank." "I realised I couldn't mess with other people's lives." "This man had a child with her." "And I was messing with mommy, while daddy was unaware." "A mix of shame and decency and with pain in my heart..." "I decided to distance myself." "My life continued, but something was missing." "Excitement, a permanent spring feeling." "Actually, everything was missing." "While I was working on something, I was alright." "As long as I didn't start thinking." "One day, I saw a girl in the park." "I thought:" "Shit, that's her!" "I started to follow her automatically." "Slowly at first, but then faster." "It was her walk and they were also her shoes." "Part of me didn't want to follow her, for the obvious reasons." "But it was stronger than me." "I had to know if the front sported that monstrous, pointed little nose." "Two young men walked towards her." "When they passed her, they didn't even look back." "When they walked past me, they weren't even talking about her." "Then I knew it couldn't be her." "I was strangely relieved." "I stopped, sighed and turned around." "And I walked in the other direction." "I have a little lady like that at home." "You do?" "Little lady..." "I mean..." "Men also always look at her." "Hello, my name's Tjitske." "I unfortunately meet the criteria to be prey for heterosexual men." "This has a geometrical reason." "Various elements of my face, such as... my eye, nose and mouth have more or less the correct relative proportions." "I'm half Asian and half European and that's also very popular." "Just like Chinese cuisine that's adapted to local tastes in the western world." "One chop suey with fried eggs on top." "And some piccalilli." "A burka wouldn't be a solution for me, because I like to have snacks." "Is there anybody who thinks he meets the criteria?" "Does anyone want to become donor father for these two young ladies?" "Mail your picture and CV to us at info@honestaboutsex.nl." "Had a good evening." "Two long trips." "Good." "Did you have a good day?" "Alright, nothing special." "When's your job interview, tomorrow?" "10:30 am." "A prey woman who has a job interview for an interesting job." "That's like a prey woman who goes to the doctor with a middle ear infection." "The cause of a middle ear infection tends to be elsewhere." "Do you ever get checked for lumps?" "Or when a prey woman travels on her own." "Customs offers single me out very often." "Even though I don't look very suspect or dangerous." "Job interviews also don't go normally." "Any other work experience?" "Right." "Let me say this." "We've been watching the most beautiful women all movie long." "And suddenly we get a politically correct spiel about... how physical beauty's a problem." "But he ignores social problems, such as AIDS in Africa or date raping..." "Day tripping?" "Date rape." "Like when a woman..." "Can't we just let the movie run?" "You're absolutely right." "There we go again." "...apart from what you just mentioned?" "Extracurricular care, theatre..." "Sounds good... extracurricular care..." "It doesn't really relate to the job... although... that's not a big problem..." "Any other..." "Presentation things, photography work..." "but that has nothing to do with the job." "As I said, you can grow in this job." "I'm not surprised you've done modelling work." "I have a little lady like you at home." "Little lady..." "I mean... a woman." "Asian, Thailand, sense of humour." "That's very original." "You don't often see that fat old white men... bring the Asian woman home after a sex holiday." "I do prenatal exercises, but I'm fighting a losing battle." "Do you notice that men react differently?" "I think men prefer to look at a body that shows more standard beauty." "Yes." "When you walk there with your pram, I think that... they think it's not all that tight anymore." "Something the size of two big piglets has come out of this." "You're no longer prey." "Wait, turn off the light first." "like the farmers used to do." "When the Dutch still believed in God, sex happened in the dark and... mainly served procreation." "And it was good that way." "There wasn't as much talking." "You had time to plough the land... to cut peat, to pray and to serve the King." "The taboo on the human body was fine too." "Most Dutch looked bad in their bare butt and that hasn't changed." "The moral of this story can be summarised in one sentence." "Maybe some people will be offended, but it boils down to this." "That we Dutch..." "Pregnancy as a way out of being a sex object." "That's the dubious and unlikely message the director wants to pass on to us." "I want you to write an analysis of the structure of this movie." "I can already tell you it's about the relay structure within a frame story." "By the way, that's the same script structure that I sent to the director... a couple of years ago." "I never heard back." "Do you think he stole the concept?" "I can't prove that, but he definitely had a good look at it." "Anyway, the relay structure for Friday." "Good luck." "Do we also have to mention the various styles?" "Do we have to name them?" "Road movie, teenage comedy..." "You could..." "but it's mainly about the structure." "About the story and the choices he makes." "So not thematically?" "I wouldn't know what you could write about the themes." "He didn't touch any of the big social themes in the movie." "Sex tourism, for instance, or date rape." "Just to mention a few." "Thank you." "When a woman says no and the man wants to penetrate her anyway." "But not from a thematic perspective." "No, not from a thematic perspective." "I just don't know if I can... write a lot about just the narrative structure." "You've already said almost everything yourself..." "But maybe it's good for me to..." "I've always had a hard time with... the narrative development." "Yes, ok." "Have you given any thought to themes, such as women in Islam or date rape?" "Show your butt." "Show your butt to daddy." "Shall I give it to you?" "Leave me alone." "Leave me alone." "Fuck off!" "Police, we're coming in!" "Buddy." "What's that?" "Sextet." "Research material." "Yes, about the narrative structure." "Do you find this funny, little Professor?" "Beating up prostitutes?" "Don't you remember?" "You beat up a prostitute." "Are you deaf?" "I don't know what you mean." "Take him with you." "Put him in jail." "Nice cartoon." "Just watch the movie." "It was only a cartoon character." "It was only animation." "You'll be hearing about this." "It wasn't me, but a cartoon character." "Slap him around a bit." "Police brutality!"