"What're you doing?" "I'm sitting here." "With the Arsenic in my hand." "And you?" "I'm just sitting here, too." "I'm going to kill myself." "I'm hanging up." "No, don't hang up." "Are you smoking?" "I'm letting it go out." "Let's smoke another." "Ok." "Is the arsenic still good?" "Can you keep on living just like that?" "I don't know." "Just like that?" "No, probably not." "Then why don't you kill yourself, too?" "I'II take the arsenic and you cut your wrists." "It's betrayal!" "I just don't understand." "I'II cancel the flight, Hanna." "I'm coming over." "No." "Hanna!" "Say something." "I can't." "Hanna, give yourself some time." "I feel so heavy." "I can't move at all." "Have you heard from Joachim?" "No." "would you do me a favor, Hanna?" "please put the bottle on the table, ok?" "I saw the wall go up and now I'II see it come down!" "VoIk und weit publishers?" "This is Hanna FIanders." "May I please speak with Joachim Rau?" "hold on, please." "Rau?" "hello, Joachim." "This is Hanna." "Hanna!" "Nice to hear from you." "How are you?" "well, what should I say?" "When do you think we'II meet again?" "I'm coming to berlin." "Great!" "When are you coming?" "In the next few days." "Depends how long it takes here." "Isn't it incredible how quickly things have changed?" "Yeah, really." "How long are you staying?" "I'm moving to berlin." "What?" "You are moving to berlin?" "I thought I'd finally do it." "Remember?" "We talked about it so much." "And now that the catastrophe has hit..." "well, yeah..." "Are you sure?" "You aren't pleased about it." "well..." "Ok." "I'm hanging up now." "Come on, Hanna, don't be stupid." "Give me a break." "I guess I was way off about how things were with us." "I just can't cope anymore." "Hanna..." "Ms. FIanders, what a surprise!" "Long time, no see." "How are you?" "You look great." "well, considering the way things" "are going..." "I had a Iot to do." "We've great stuff, Ms. FIanders." "The new collection is fantastic." "Can I show you something?" "Yes, the coat with the black leaves." "Yes, that's quite special." "would you Iike to try it on?" "Yes, please." "Just a moment." "rolf, could you come over here?" "Oh, Ms. FIanders, nice to see you." "Like to try something on?" "Yes, please." "May I take the coat?" "Thanks." "We thought you disappeared." "Don't you still live in Munich?" "Not much longer, you could say." "And where are you off to?" "To berlin." "berlin?" "That's a surprise." "You can handle that?" "It'II be a shame not to have you in Munich anymore." "May I?" "That coat looks wonderful." "And of course the collar is removable." "It looks as if Dior made it just for you, really." "I'II take it." "Where were we?" "You said that in the communist part of Germany you're more respected as a writer than in the West." "And that you can't understand what's going on here right now." "I find it all really unfair." "I'm pretty depressed." "Consumer society is now eating us all up." "I know what you mean." "But a few will survive, don't you think?" "I don't know." "I don't know if I care anymore." "It makes me sick to see these clones all over." "It nauseates me how they rummage through the underwear, grabbing." "Now, suddenly, I see the depressing reality, that they're fighting for Mon Cheri cherry cordials." "And so they can stuff" "Western tampons, cola bottles and bananas into their cunts." "They aren't fighting for truth the way Lenin meant." "These people have lost all sense of respect and seIf-esteem." "What do you think is the truth?" "The way Lenin meant it?" "Can we still see it that..." "The truth." "The truth is, disfigurement has become a prayer." "Can you put that more clearly?" "The truth is, I have no dream anymore." "I believed in Lenin." "If I have to admit that Lenin was wrong, and this parasitic mob that's taking over was right, then life has lost all meaning for me." "You're an exception." "hardly anyone felt so personally attacked by the opening of the wall as you did." "could it be because West German publishers have been rejecting your manuscripts?" "Do you really think that bothers me?" "Sorry, I was just wondering." "It had to effect you somehow." "Your novel "Sacred blood" as spent years looking for a publisher." "The gentlemen from RowohIt publishers are boycotting me." "It's common knowledge that they work closely with the CIA." "I won't work with them." "I won't be published in the" "federal republic of Germany." "I despise these cultural fascists." "But right now I can't afford to go abroad." "Or I'd have gone to London or Paris ages ago." "berlin will have to do for now." "You look sad, Hanna." "Are you afraid of falling?" "As a person or as a writer?" "I can't pin down my sadness." "And when I verbalize my hate it's just external rhetoric." "The hurt is deep down inside." "Down there my Iife is being summed up without mercy, my love and my understanding of art." "And my chances are being weighed, whether or not." "What do you mean, whether or not?" "Whether I continue writing until I finally win the Buchner Prize or if I'II end up selling flowers at the market." "I couId imagine that, too." "It's nice to see you smile." "Can we start taking things out?" "Of course." "Start with the shelves." "I don't want to keep you." "Thanks for talking with me." "I'II think of you." "Good luck in berlin." "hello, this is Hanna FIanders." "Is Joachim Rau there?" "No." "He's still not in?" "I wanted to know if someone can meet me at the airport tomorrow." "Joachim is not here." "If he can't make it, someone else will meet you." "Good." "Thank you." "Goodbye." "So, Ms. FIanders, we're done." "We'II leave early tomorrow morning." "This is for you and your partners." "Thanks." "could you please sign here?" "It turned out very expensive." "I don't set the prices." "Ok, thanks again." "Bye." "hello, Mum." "How are you?" "Come on in." "The place looks terrible." "We don't get anything done." "We spent the day in East berlin." "There's an incredible feeling here." "It's amazing, really." "When did you get here?" "This afternoon." "Where are you staying?" "As always." "In the excelsior, but just for one night." "How long are you staying?" "A while." "What does that mean?" "I'm moving here for a while." "really?" "That's great!" "How did it happen?" "Oh, the Iast few times I was here I really enjoyed it." "And now my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to move here to him." "You have a boyfriend here?" "That's great!" "Don't you want to sit down?" "We haven't seen each other in ages." "Three years." "could be." "What are you doing?" "Are you writing?" "A new novel?" "Hm." "Is RowohIt publishing it?" "I won't write for them anymore." "They took me for a ride." "I'm too radical for them." "And you?" "What are you doing?" "Are you still trying to write?" "What do you mean "trying"?" "Of course, I'm writing." "What's that supposed to mean, am I trying?" "I wasn't being critical." "You just kept saying that you" "tossed everything!" "Yeah, I was on Speed." "I'm not so seIf-destructive anymore." "How's your wife?" "You are married to her, right?" "Good." "She should be here any minute." "She's out jogging to release her aggressions, since we stopped smoking when the wall opened." "I couldn't do that." "Say, I was wondering..." "could you get me some Speed?" "How could you even ask me something like that?" "You used to be so proud that you could get me the stuff!" "Hey, I want nothing to do with that." "Don't ever ask me again." "Ok, ok." "could you please refrain from smoking?" "There's no smoking here anymore." "Sorry, I'm a little on edge." "It's because I stopped smoking." "Sorry." "That's Isa." "I'II get the door." "Where have you been?" "What's the matter?" "Mum is here." "Who?" "Mother." "hello." "So, how are things?" "hello." "Nice to have you visit." "Too bad we have to take off." "We're invited to an afternoon brunch with some people in the East." "Yeah, well, we have to go." "Isn't that right, dear?" "Can we take you somewhere?" "Where do you have to go?" "Oh, I guess I'II go back to the hotel." "You can come with us." "We'II drop you off." "No, not necessary." "It's ok." "That's a nice coat." "Oh, you Iike it?" "Good evening, Ms. FIanders." "Good evening, Harry." "I read almost all of your books." "really?" "That's amazing." "That's very nice." "Oh, I read them all." "I'm a real bookworm." "Any messages for me?" "Sorry, nothing there." "Of course, I'II let you know immediately." "could I have my key, please?" "NatureIIement." "Thanks, Harry." "Good night." "Same to you." "would you Iike a drink at the bar?" "It's on the house." "Thank you." "May I join you for a moment?" "certainly." "My pleasure." "I am ZoItan Quais." "I'm Hanna FIanders." "This hotel is so empty." "Everyone is out on the street." "I'm happy there's not so much going on here." "Me, too." "And what are you doing here?" "I'm here for the fashion trade-fair at the convention center." "And you?" "What should I say?" "I'm here because of the political events." "If you want to call it that." "Let me guess." "You must be a journalist." "close, but no cigar." "I'm a writer." "Oh." "Uhm..." "To our meeting." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Thank God." "You're the first who hasn't toasted the wall coming down." "Why should I?" "It wouldn't be very tactful." "I can see by your face that that's difficult for you." "What?" "What makes you say that?" "Instinct." "would you Iike something from the mini-bar?" "No, thanks." "It's better we take care of the money first." "It costs 400 marks." "Ok." "One moment." "Thanks." "What should I do?" "should I get undressed?" "I don't know." "Come here." "I..." "Don't be afraid." "I Iike you." "I don't know." "I feel so..." "Sh, sh." "It's a wig." "I know." "It doesn't matter." "It all doesn't matter." "relax." "calm down." "I Iike it with you." "A Iot." "Come on." "Lie down." "Good morning, Ms. FIanders." "You look great." "And your coat it looks tremendous!" "Thank you." "What are your plans?" "A little distraction?" "I'm not sure." "I might go out." "Yes!" "definitely go out." "Life is waiting for you." "You just have to enjoy it." "That's right." "Goodbye." "Oh!" "I almost forgot." "This is for you." "Thanks." "Have a wonderful day." "Same to you." "" Dear Hanna, sorry I couldn't meet you." "I couldn't make it." "please call soon." "Love, Joachim"" "Hanna." "What are you doing here?" "hello, Joachim." "How did you get here so fast?" "I got your fax." "My fax!" "Fax?" "Who faxed here?" "That's what you said." "Your secretary typed it." "No, it was your standard fax!" "With your fogged signature." "Yes, yes." "My secretary can't even type." "Sorry, we're all a little..." "What're your plans?" "How long are you staying?" "I followed through on my threat." "The moving van is on its way to berlin." "What made you think of doing that?" "I thought you'd be pleased." "Listen." "Hey, that's FIanders." "I know you!" "You're the spoIed Western bitch, right?" "Who, except for champagne parties in Moscow, knew absolutely nothing about our political reality." "Who believed in fucking East Germany since it's the only country that printed her intellectual crap." "Ok, I just wanted to say that, ok?" "Hanna!" "Hanna!" "You can't just go." "Listen, sorry, that really was a little much." "Ok." "I've had a bit of something." "It's been like this for 2 days!" "Maybe it was a bad idea just to show up." "Come on." "Don't be angry." "What did you expect?" "I know it's better not to expect anything from anyone." "But I'm also here because of our conversations." "I guess you can't recall." "Hey, I can remember." "I just can't keep my word any more." "The times have changed dramatically." "Sounds like it's from a bad movie on the Nazi Period." "But it's true, don't you see?" "And besides, look," "I know I promised you could stay with me but that isn't possible anymore." "I... don't live alone anymore." "Yeah." "Besides, how could I know you'd show up here with bags" "and furniture and all?" "well?" "You couldn't, of course." "Oh, there you are." "How was your flight?" "Hanna... oh, you know each other." "Sure I know Hanna FIanders." "I discovered her when we were young and handsome." "But she's angry with me now." "Yeah?" "Why is that?" "I can't publish her anymore." "I think I should go now." "Take care, Joachim." "Ms. FIanders." "Do you remember me?" "No, sorry." "I don't." "We spoke often back when we published your first book "Win on Points" ." "Oh, yes, excuse me." "I can't remember at the moment." "No big deal." "Can I help you?" "Who did you want to see?" "Can I sit down for a minute?" "I've hardly slept." "I just moved here and have no place to stay." "It didn't work out with the apartment I was promised and now I'm here with all my things and no place to go." "Why don't we go to my office?" "I just made some coffee." "Oh, coffee sounds great." "The coffee is very good." "It has something in I Iove." "It reminds me of something." "Chicory." "It's chicory coffee." "We always drank it since we couldn't get the real thing." "Oh, yeah." "I'm ok now." "I have to be going." "Where will you go?" "No, it's out of the question." "I won't let you go." "The publisher has a writer's apartment." "The location isn't very central, but it'II do for a start." "Oh yeah, and I couId have it?" "It's not beautiful and it's far from downtown." "That doesn't matter." "Not at all." "I have really mixed feelings." "I don't know if it's so good." "And besides, I'm not the type who can stand large crowds." "Maybe one shouldn't ask so many questions." "You have to just go with the flow." "I'm a chain smoker." "Me, too." "Oh God!" "I didn't know it looked so bad here." "Come on, Iet's go." "You don't have to stay here." "You can stay with me." "No, no." "It's fine." "Are you sure?" "I'II be in Dresden for 3 days." "When I get back, I'II pick you up." "You'II be ok till then?" "Yes." "Sure." "really?" "Sure." "Ok, then." "Ciao." "Ciao." "And thanks a Iot." "No need to thank me." "I Iike you a Iot." "I Iike you, too." "We'II figure something out." "Yeah." "Ciao." "What'II it be?" "Same as everyone else." "To your health." "To your health." "I'm Dieter." "Cheers!" "Cheers." "I'm Hanna." "It looks like you can really hold your liquor." "I've drunk quite a few Russians under the table." "Do you know that I know you?" "No, I didn't." "But you know you're quite weII-known in our country?" "Yes, that I do know." "I've read all your books." "Yeah, really?" "I liked your last one the best." "The one about your sister committing suicide and how that happened." "Thanks, really." "Not many liked it." "Most found it too heavy." "No, no." "It really affected me." "And... it was a really moving portrait of how barbaric interpersonal relationship can be." "How do you know it was my sister?" "I did some research, since I used the book in my classes." "You're a teacher." "I teach German and history." "A fateful combo." "well, then, Cheers." "To the fateful combination." "I didn't know you were so good-Iooking." "Thanks." "What do you think of it all?" "What should I think?" "I'II survive no matter what." "I concentrate on other things." "And what do you think of it?" "well, I find it all rather depressing." "That isn't necessary." "really." "Come on, Iet's have another drink." "Gregor, pour us another." "I saw right away that you aren't happy." "I see that immediately." "Maybe I can cheer you up." "To the greatest woman here!" "To Hanna!" "Cheers!" "Uhm, hello there!" "You're a fast mover, my oh my!" "Life is short, Hanna." "To your breasts." "You have great breasts." "I can touch, right?" "Come on, stop it." "Why?" "You know, you Iike it." "No. come on, hands off." "Oh, don't make a fuss." "I bet no one's touched you in ages." "How should you know?" "Cut it out!" "Come on, it's nice." "You just have to get used to it again." "Just let yourself go." "could you tell him to stop it?" "Leave the woman alone, Dieter." "Stop bothering her." "Shut up!" "Hey, are you crazy?" "Why'd you call for help?" "What did I do?" "I didn't ask you to touch me, so just please leave me alone." "Hey, you're a real bitch, you know?" "You should be happy that anyone even wants to touch you anymore!" "Look at you, you old bag!" "What're you staring at?" "You, with those sagging tits." "Hanna FIanders... wrote nothing but shit in the Iast 20 years!" "Hey, you measly teacher, you!" "No one asked you to come here." "So go on back to where you came from." "Leave the woman alone, or I'II give you some trouble." "Come on, Dieter, leave her alone." "What an asshole!" "Get lost!" "always the same old thing." "He's totally flipped out." "I can't believe it." "Hi." "Hey, wait." "Where are you going?" "Come, join us." "He'II leave you alone." "That shouldn't happen on days like this." "Have a drink with us." "Come on." "I'd rather go." "I've had a Iong day." "Oh, don't be angry." "Don't let it get to you." "You must have a drink with us, ok?" "To understanding and that we'II be reunited!" "To unification!" "To understanding!" "Don't be mad, he didn't mean it." "He's drunk." "He's usually nice." "I don't get it either." "I know him from our school days." "He's not Iike that, really." "Ok, then." "Ciao." "Goodbye." "So long." "Bye, bye." "What a nightmare!" "A nightmare." "Now I can't even fall asleep." "" people in their clothing staggering over the gravel, strolling under the vast sky that spreads out from hill to distant hill."" "A cup of hot coffee, please, Hans." "hello." "hello." "What happened?" "Oh, excuse me." "I must look terrible." "Yes, you look terrible." "It doesn't matter." "We all look terrible now and again." "I couldn't sleep." "I was up all night." "The apartment I'm staying is so terrible I couldn't stay." "Come, stay with us." "It's nice." "I have a big family." "One more doesn't matter!" "really?" "To your family?" "They're used to it." "Come on with me, ok?" "I'm exhausted." "I really have to go to sleep." "I was thinking of taking a cab to the hotel, but I don't think" "I have enough cash." "I have to go to a bank." "Is there a bank around here?" "First you come with me and get some sleep." "I make you something to eat." "You'II meet my husband and kids and my relatives visiting from Witterda." "From Witterda?" "That's where my mother is from." "You're from Thuringia?" "No, I'm from Nuremberg." "But that's where my mother grew up." "That's funny." "That's where I'm from, too." "Come on home with me." "It's nice at our place." "So, now go to sleep." "So, I have to pick..." "What do you have to pick?" "I'II take these three..." "Fine." "Go on." "play." "No peeking." "I don't have that suit." "You're taking too long." "Two." "No, only one card." "Did you sleep well?" "Put on the bathrobe and come on." "I can't sit here like this." "No need to hide around us." "Sit down." "Come, join us." "First I'II introduce you." "This is Hanna." "This is my husband." "I'm the husband." "Say your name!" "AIfons." "Our neighbor." "Irene." "Her husband." "Dietmar." "My sister." "CIaudi." "I'm Horst." "Her husband." "These are my kids." "Say hello." "hello, hello." "Oh, all the chocolate." "Want some tea?" "Yes, please." "I'm drunk already." "Carmen said you're originally from our area." "Yes." "She's from Witterda!" "Witterda!" "?" "And what brought you here?" "You have relatives here?" "Oh, it's a Iong story." "It's a Iong way from Witterda." "You clown." "Cut it out." "Just fooling around." "That's freedom." "Cheers." "To freedom." "For us life is just beginning." "Now we're free, right?" "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "What do you for work?" "I'm a writer." "really?" "From where?" "From Munich." "Munich?" "Don't take it so hard." "Right now she doesn't have a home." "Don't tease her." "That isn't nice." "But we can talk, can't we?" "Of course you can talk." "But leave her alone for now." "She had a rough night." "What do you do?" "I work as a typesetter" "at the printing works." "He used to be something like you." "A journalist." "And not a bad one at that," "till they fired him." "He did meetings." "That was ages ago!" "Go get your poems." "No." "Go and get them." "Everything ok?" "I'II be right back." "Ok." "And I couldn't keep up." "This piano bar, I wanted to go in and you know what he tells me?" ""You can eat and drink at home!"" "Imagine how liberating that is, for years we weren't allowed to think." "He was lucky." "Just imagine what is was like." "I really thought we lost them... freedom and truth." "They were buried." "But they're inside us." "And then it just broke out." "That's why we're so happy for days." "It's like being high." "I never experienced anything like it." "You think it'II last?" "Why not?" "I hadn't thought about it." "Why should we?" "You don't seem all too happy about it." "It really threw me." "I don't want to spoil the fun." "people are happy far too seldom." "What is it that really threw you?" "You're pretty nosy." "I'm just asking a question." "For me, your communism here in the East was the perfect world." "I had a Iot of trouble with life in the West, since returning from england." "And I often thought of moving to East berlin." "With a Western passport in her pocket!" "Now it's all collapsed and it's as if I too have fallen apart." "collapsed?" "It's only starting." "It'II be ok." "I guess I shouldn't take myself so fucking seriously." "exactly!" "Cheers!" "Now you've met some new friends." "Fucking communism." "We're all people." "From the East, but what the hell." "Turn down the damn TV!" "It's making me crazy." "Come on, leave the kids alone." "Isn't it nice here?" "Yes, I feel good for the first time." "That's a good reason" "to have another toast." "So it's final." "You stay here a little while, right?" "Of course she'II stay a while." "I won't let her go in that state." "Such a precious person." "No, no, you'II stay here." "As of today, you're one of us." "Let's drink to that." "Cheers!" "To you, Hanna." "ronald?" "It's me, Hanna." "Everything's gone wrong." "I'm broke." "I'm going back to Munich on the next train." "Where were you last night?" "Where did you sleep?" "With a family." "really sweet people, way out in East berlin." "They were so sweet." "They couldn't get enough of it; that finally their lives are changing." "They even wanted me to stay." "Why didn't you?" "What would I do there?" "I haven't a chance." "I haven't a chance." "They're so different." "I have nothing to do with them." "I haven't a chance there." "Oh!" "HanneIeh!" "Next time tell you Papa that you're coming so he can at Ieast pick you up." "I promise." "would you Iike some wine?" "I'd love some." "Papa, give her some wine." "How long are you staying?" "Me?" "Tonight." "Maybe tomorrow, too." "You don't look good at all." "You're so drawn and thin." "Why is that?" "Don't y0u eat enough?" "I smoke too much." "I work too much." "We tried calling you when we heard about the wall, to hear if you finally caught on, but you weren't home." "You didn't pick up the phone." "I'm sure you had your reasons." "It's not worth arguing, Mama." "Your adversary this time is far too weak." "Come on, we aren't arguing." "What kind of attitude is that?" "I just wanted to know where you were the whole time." "I was home, if you really want to know." "I just didn't answer the phone." "Did you hear that?" "She was home and didn't answer the phone!" "We were worried." "How should we know you didn't kill yourself?" "Don't say that." "Why not?" "Her sister did it!" "Come on, Trudi, please don't get exited." "First listen to what she has to say." "And anyway, Iet's toast to her being here." "Cheers, Hanna." "Cheers." "To our finally getting to see your face again!" "Do you still take so many pills?" "You have that harsh facial expression again." "We're not going to pay for another withdrawal treatment." "You still don't have health insurance." "Father and I aren't willing to pay such astronomical sums." "I cut down." "I don't take many anymore." "At least she's back and can relax for a few days." "Did you come right from Munich?" "Why don't you say what you want?" "You never come for no reason." "I can't talk like this." "Mama always pressures me so much." "There's no sense." "That's right." "Why don't you let her get settled first?" "Are you making rules for me, how I'm supposed to behave?" "Ok, Mama, you're right." "I need money." "I'm totally broke." "I wanted to move to berlin." "I spent all my money for the move." "I didn't plan out." "If you don't give me the money," "I lose my apartment in Munich." "I don't even have enough to buy myself some cigarettes." "I don't get an advance for my new book till next spring." "Then I couId pay you back part of it." "What do you mean, you wanted to move to berlin?" "Why?" "That's beside the point." "Don't tell me what I can or cannot ask you." "It was personal, ok?" "It didn't work out." "But it didn't change my situation at all." "How much do you need?" "1 0,000 marks." "That's out of the question." "First I'II take my stuff upstairs." "Or should I just go?" "But HanneIeh, Mama doesn't mean it like that." "She's just annoyed that you only come when you want something." "I'm in trouble." "I can't change that!" "Just let her go." "You can't do that." "She's our daughter." "You are and always will be a pushover." "HanneIeh, please." "Don't go." "You can't do that to your Papa." "Go upstairs and wait until everything calms down." "I'II talk to your mother." "She doesn't mean it like that." "Ok, Papa, I'm going up to my room." "I'm tired." "I can't deal with a scene right now." "You can tell her that." "Go upstairs, dear." "We'II work something out." "Ok, Papa." "Papa, I have to talk with you." "You have a minute?" "Papa, I can't stand it here." "I have to go back to Munich." "I can't stay here another minute." "You have to give me some money." "child, calm don." "No, Papa." "It won't work." "I have to leave immediately." "I'm going crazy." "I have to go back to Munich." "I can't take it." "Can you give me some money?" "How much do you need?" "Everything you have at hand." "Here are 500 marks." "Is that enough for a start?" "It'II do for the first few days in Munich." "I have to get the apartment back." "Maybe it isn't gone yet." "Thanks, Papa." "I'II never forget this." "Somebody has to do it." "You know what I'II have to deal with" "if I just let you leave." "Just say I was gone." "That I just took off." "She'II believe you." "Ciao, Papa." "Hanna!" "Bruno." "What're you doing here?" "Were you at your parents?" "And you?" "What are you doing here?" "It's my little brother's birthday." "Peter?" "How funny to run into you here." "I've been thinking of you a Iot recently." "really?" "Yeah, it's strange." "I remembered how we were in IffeIdorf and you bathed the baby for the first time." "Stuff like that." "It was strange." "You doing ok?" "The opening of the wall and all that has really confused me." "Come on." "Let's go for a drink." "When is your train?" "I have time." "Come on." "Let's go." "Two vodkas please." "doubles." "Except for being a bit older, you haven't changed at all." "It's the makeup." "I've used the same makeup for 30 years." "You're probably confusing me with my makeup." "And back then you didn't have a wig." "You had more hair, too." "I still have a little patch." "Isn't that enough?" "Yes, it is." "To this stupid city." "To this stupid city." "Two more doubles, please." "Ok?" "Yeah." "You could have called." "There's certainly enough to talk about." "Our son, for instance." "Yeah, that's right." "It's time for me to go." "What are you plans?" "I really don't know." "I'II take the next train back to Munich." "Why don't you just come with me to Darmstadt?" "Ok, I'II come." "Ok, so let's go." "Do you have ice?" "Where is the kitchen?" "I need glasses." "Yeah, wait a minute." "I'II get them." "Where is the kitchen?" "There!" "What's so funny?" "plum spread, margarine, this Thuringia sausage, a ryebread." "You still have exactly the same things in the refrigerator." "I hate change." "When things change, as you see, I try everything to keep things the way they were." "They played tricks with us." "Now things are better for us." "Now we exist again." "Yeah, we exist again." "To our new existence." "When are you finally going to take off that wig?" "I'm not." "That would be the ultimate nakedness." "Do you wear it even when you sleep with someone?" "I'II wear it in my grave." "And when I face the final judgement." "When I go to hell." "I wouldn't subject my worst enemies to such nakedness." "Not even God." "And if Lenin... asked you to?" "Then I'd take it off." "I'm Lenin." "Can't you see that?" "Now take that damn thing off." "I can't." "I Iook ugly without it," "Iike the woman from " Naked Kiss" ." "You don't look ugly at all." "You never looked ugly." "Even if you had only one leg, you'd look pretty to me." "I don't believe you." "I know you don't believe me." "You never did." "You always played the lonely hero." "How could I have believed you as a young girl?" "You aren't a young girl anymore." "You're everything but a young girl." "What do you mean?" "Do you mean I should believe you now?" "Why are you doing that?" "I Iove you." "In contrast to you, I was never afraid of getting old." "How do you know, I'm afraid?" "I know you too well." "I can feel how afraid you are of every touch." "Yes, I'm scared." "I'm scared it'II go " Pop"" "and I'II burst like a puffball mushroom when you lie on me, with spores shooting out in a smokeIike cloud." "Oh, cut the crap!" "You can put that in one of your novels." "I'm much more exact then you are!" "You started it." "So, you can have me like this." "Ok, then." "Come on, Iet's go over to the bedroom." "Yeah, we'II get it over with." "Now you're like me." "Oh, that's awful." "Hanna, what are you doing here?" "I thought you'd fallen asleep." "I'm so furious." "It's so fucked!" "So fucked." "I'm so angry, I couId cut off my hand." "Gudrun, Ingeborg, Rita, UIrike..." "I can understand these girls so well." "They knew what was going on." "You have no idea how much I Ioved Gudrun." "I Ioved that girl so much." "Do you have a recipe for death?" "I've known you 30 years already." "You're still so stupid." "And the others are so fucking stupid" "Grass never knew what was going on." "only the girls always knew what was going on." "You didn't understand either." "Why not?" "Why don't you ever understand?" "Everyone survived when Ingeborg burned to death." "Except for me." "I'm dead in here." "You don't know what that means." "Bruno, Iie down, ." "Get into bed." "There's no sense." "No, you finally have to understand, girl." "I am not your hero, your great guy." "I am your first and most important man, but nothing more." "Understand?" "Yes, I understand, but you still have to get into bed." "The pain is very deep." "It won't come out anymore." "When will you finally understand?" "I'm going now." "I'd Iike to bring you to bed first if you want." "Yes, then go, girl, if you must." "I won't take you in again." "You asshole." "You're so fucking unfair." "I should've known things would go wrong with you." "You have absolutely no respect." "I have to go." "You're so drunk, there's nothing else to do." "And because I see how exhausted I am." "I have to go, even though I have no place to go." "You're forcing me to, Bruno." "Goodbye." "Ms. FIanders, what a surprise to see you here." "What about berlin?" "I am here only temporarily." "What happened?" "The move was delayed." "You're not wearing the white coat." "That's what I'm here about." "Is something the matter?" "I wanted to ask if you'd take the coat back?" "For haIf-price, of course." "I only wore it once." "Sorry, Ms. FIanders, but we never do that." "I'd never ask if I weren't in trouble." "But considering" "I shop here so often..." "We're very sorry, but we don't do that." "We simply don't." "Is everything ok?" "Yes, thanks." "Say, where is that song coming from?" "What song?" "That oIdie?" "It's from the radio in the back." "Taxis are out front?" "Yes, right out in front." "How long have I been here already?" "several hours." "How did I..." "Why did I..." "Did I have an accident?" "You collapsed in front of a restaurant at Odeon Square" "and they brought you here." "What happened?" "We found a Iarge dose of barbiturate in your blood." "I took the pills too early." "I wanted to get a taxi." "I must've fallen asleep on the way from restaurant to taxi." "Then I can go now." "calm down, Ms. FIanders." "Lie back down, you can't go yet." "Why not?" "We'II probably have to transfer you." "Transfer?" "Where to?" "Another hospital." "No, no." "Why?" "I can't afford that at all." "please calm down." "I'd Iike to talk you about it." "Can I have a cigarette, please?" "No, smoking is out of the question." "I'd Iike to talk to you openly about it, but please promise to stay calm." "In a routine examination we detected acute symptoms of vascular disease in your left leg, due to smoking." "What?" "please calm down." "You promised to stay calm." "My leg is numb!" "That's ok." "We gave you a blood thinning injection to regulate the blood flow." "That's normal." "In two hours you'II be able" "to walk normally again." "What's wrong with my leg?" "What is that, vascular disease?" "It means if you keep on smoking, you'II lose the leg pretty soon." "What?" "please calm down." "Don't cry." "Just listen." "You have to be very strong and disciplined." "You'II start immediate nicotine withdrawal and not touch another cigarette." "We will also initiate a withdrawal from your pills." "So we'd Iike your consent to keep you for about ten days on a closed detox ward in Munich-Leim." "Then you'II be moved to a treatment center for recovery for another four weeks." "That would give you a chance to avoid having your leg amputated." "But I'd Iike to be very clear that it is only a chance." "You have to do everything to make sure you come through ok." "Are you in agreement with that?" "I consent to everything." "Ms. FIanders, what are you doing?" "Isn't that a bit much?" "The clock is ticking too loudly." "You're lucky." "It could've been broken." "Why do you say lucky?" "Nurse Marga, could you give me a cigarette," "so the withdrawal symptoms go away?" "No." "You know I can't." "You have to get through on your own, with an iron will." "Hanna, would you" "do me a favor and get into bed?" "I can't sleep." "I tried." "It's no use." "Ok, but leave the stuff on the walls." "Hanna." "ronald, where did you come from?" "They told me to stop smoking or my arteries will clog up." "It's all so terrible." "I can't sleep." "They made me go from 1 00 to zero!" "It's torture." "I was looking all over for you, Hanna." "You look so exhausted." "Did they take away your aII-important cigarettes?" "AII-important?" "Yeah, it seems so." "I'm so happy I found you, Hanna." "You can't imagine." "How are you?" "How about you?" "Where are you off to?" "You don't look as if you'II be staying in Munich." "I have to go to Vienna." "They're interested in my play." "really?" "That's wonderful." "Hanna..." "That's good." "I'm really happy I'm here." "What do they say;" "I'm in good care." "I think it's good to be in someone's care for a while." "For sure it's good." "You don't have to worry about anything." "The nurses are your maids." "It's almost like in the excelsior." "Soon you'II be able to sleep again." "It scares me." "sleep will come, don't worry." "You think so?" "Yeah." "Know what I think?" "What?" "You'II do this one last time." "Then something new will come." "I believe in that." "When I come back from Vienna." "Inside me everything is moving around so lightly; it's strange." "The memories, the feelings are all returning." "That's good." "They are so light because they aren't real." "They don't want to live in me." "They are drifting away." "They're drifting away, you see?" "And I'm hanging in the air like an iron weight." "They aren't drifting away." "They'II come back." "It'II be light and easy again, believe me." "You do believe me, don't you?" "Here. for safekeeping till I come back from Vienna." "No." "No." "please." "please." "So nothing will happen to me." "No." "Keep it." "It looks so good on you." "You have to keep it." "You'II net it in Vienna." "So go now." "Go on!" "subtitles;" "VICOMEDIA 09/2000"