"There was snow in Leningrad not long ago." "Spring set in late and lasted long, so long I did't even notice when it ended." "Here, in Tokyo, air was hot and stuffy, it was hard to breathe." "Only here I realized it was real summer for a long time already." "That means - exactly a year has passed since those days." "It was summer again." "And it even started raining again." "MELODIES OF A WHITE NIGHT" "I somehow couldn't imagine this being fully awake." "Sometimes it seemed to me as if I began forgetting her face." "Then, in the end of the winter, there was suddenly this call." "Japanese firm wants to record disc with my concert in Kyoto." "Who is soloist?" "Yes, yes, sure, we know each other." "So dream was at hand's touching lenght." "From Leningrad to Tokyo - airplane." "From here to railway station - car." "Then it will be train to Kyoto." "Rehearsal with a band is today already." "Tomorrow - recording." "Is that much [time] for us or not?" "Two days?" "We didn't exchange letters and didn't know anything about each other for a whole year." "I didn't expect any news." "We ourselves had decided so at that time." "Sometimes it seemed to me I didn't remember her face." "Anyway, I, of course, lied to myself." "I remembered all." "Remembered every moment of that summer." "Remembered and brought along with myself." "This is just a concert." "And the name...there isn't any." "Ordinary - [concert] #1." "What concerns programme, intention and meaning:" "it's difficult to talk about that." "In general, it's hard to [explain] music in words." "Since when do you perform concerts?" "I do it for a rather long time already." "I play russian [composers] much." "That is Tschaikovsky, Rakhmaninov?" "Yes, of course." "Classics mainly." "But I discovered this music in Lelingrad a year ago." "In Leningrad?" "How did you find yourself there?" "I already told I liked playing russian [composers]." "And I think music emerges from somewhere." "So I wanted to see Russia." "Just Russia from where music I love emerge." "I wanted to get to know their young composers." "They showed me help in conservatory." "Lighter with your hand." "Keep your palm more at ease." "By the way, how do you know russian?" "Very well." "You speak completely clear." "I learned it in Japan by mysef." "I like russian." "I understand." "Well, let's give it a try?" "Let's give it a try." "He's a wonderful musician." "Ilyusha!" "..." "What concert?" "It does not exist yet." "What did I show you?" "Drafts, outlines." "It does not exist in whole and it's unknown when it will." "Alright." "Alright, alright." "I'll come." "Only what for?" "Hello." "Good day." "Nice." "Possibly." "I already said the concert didn't exist yet." "It will be." "Maybe." "Is this your first time in Leningrad?" "Yes." "Tell what would be intersting for you to see." "You wouldn't just sit in your room with arms folded waiting for full score." "Everything interests me." "For example?" "I don't know." "For example..." "I was told you have Hermitage Museum here." "You were told right." "There really is." "Look, there." "Let's got there." "What else?" "Else?" "For example... this..." "Do you always do it before playing?" "Oh, that." "That's nonsense." "It's just good method of pulling oneself together." "I recommend it." "Russian zen?" "Yea." "This is what I think: we have visited Hermitage, we'll go to Petropavlokva and to the ballet." "But that's not all, that's not whole Leningrad and whole Russia." "Is that right?" "Right." "You are not just a tourist." "Others things would possibly be interesting to you." "For me it's always interesting to see how people live abroad." "Simply how they live." "In what we are similar and in what we are different." "It's interesting, isn't it?" "Interesting." "Today, for example, I will introduce you with my grandmother." "And with Fedya." "Who is Fedya?" "A brother." "Such silence." "As if it was night." "There will be no night." "I know." "I have heard of white nights." "Will it be darker at night?" "No." "It will be just like this - quiet, wide, light." "Either day or night." "This is Fedya." "And this is Alyosha, my son." "Alyosha." "Aryosha?" "Alyosha." "Excuse me, we have no "L", just "R"." "Why don't you have [L]?" "Don't ask silly questions." "Aunt is japanese." "Is that you, Fedya?" "That's us and father." "We are not alone." "We have a girl with us." "She's japanese." "In what sense, dear?" "In direct." "She's form Japan." "Granny, say "Leto"!" "Leto." "Incorrect." "Correct would be "Reto"." "Forgive me, girl, I though Alyosha was joking, as he usually does." "This, I guess, are you?" "Yes, girl." "And this could be Ilya?" "Ilya and Fedya and Lenochka." "How funny he is." "Yes, funny." "That was long ago, girl." "During war." "Leningrad was being bombed hard and starved." "Hitler, you know, got this idea Leningrad would be no more." "There would be just swamp like before times of tsar Peter." "And people of Lenigrad, he supposed, would simply die." "One time he even decided not to waste bullets on us." "That's funny indeed." "Is it allowed to be such idiot?" "I am not his grandmother at all." "Whose?" "Neither Ilya, nor Fedya." "And who [are you]?" "No one." "Music teacher." "They have no parents." "They were killed in war." "Some died of hunger." "They are not brothers." "How come?" "Girl, it's even hard to tell you." "We were grownups at the time, staggering with hunger, yet we travelled across Russia gathering them." "Whom?" "Children who were tallented." "Those were incredible kids." "Have a look." "They didn't remember the taste of milk." "Many didn't know what sugar was." "They couldn't overcome footstep." "The most ordinary footstep because they didn't have any physical strenght left." "But tallent, imagine it, was alive in them." "And art lived inside them." "Then, after the war, we returned to Leningrad." "For a long time we hoped that some of the parents..." "Ilya's [parents] or Fedya's [parents] would turn up." "Nobody turned up." "Then I adopted them." "Thus they became brothers." "But me, for some reason, they called grandmother." "Years pass by, girl." "Things have somehow settled, guys have got education." "Ilya is a musician, you know." "Fedya is a painter." "Good one." "Have you been in opera?" "No." "You shoud definitely go." "Very beautiful." "Aren't you bored there?" "No, dear." "You can't get bored with granny." "Bring the goose." "Dad, say "Lamp"." ""RRRamp"!" "I am bringing the goose!" "Silent angel flew by." "Granny, sing something, would you?" "Please, sing." "Don't mince." "Go on, granny....ask her, ask..." "Please!" "What a singer you've found..." "Come year, child, let's play four handed." "You are a musician." "Help me, child." "In this key." "Don't be shy." "No need for words." "Thank you." "Don't mention it." "Good bye." "Until tomorrow." "Go to sleep." "It's very late." "Or very early." "Farewell." "I thought you were sleeping." "And I thought you were sleeping." "Where were you?" "I don't know." "I went for a walk." "I returned because I must tell you, or rather I forgot to tell you... or rather Fedya asked... you know, he wants to paint your portret." "He is good painter." "Honestly." "Don't turn him down." "OK?" "Alright." "How do you find our granny?" "Do you like her?" "Very." "That's right." "Granny is a piece of gold." "And how do you like our Aryosha?" "How do you like our Aryosha-san?" "Good [boy]." "And Ilya?" "What Ilya?" "How [do you like] Ilya?" "That's right." "Ilya is a complicated man." "Why?" "He's not simple." "Perhaps, life has settled that way, maybe he has that kind of character." "Genes." "Do you have children?" "I don't." "And me, too, only Aryosha-san." "Don't fidget, please." "Better talk with me, then I can see you better." "Alright?" "Alright." "Tell me, Fedya... who is mother of Alyosha?" "You know, it's a long story, impossible to tell at once." "Then no need for it." "Well, why no need?" "You know what happened?" "Do you remember that photo with bayan in cottage?" "I do." "Remember, there is girl standing near?" "I do." "Her name was Lena." "She spent two winters under siege." "When she was brought to us, she had a hard time recovering." "She was very gifted girl." "Ballet." "Ilya loved her very much." "Fell in love with her still as a boy." "Then he married her." "That was after the war." "But those two winter left traces." "That was also after the war." "She had bad lungs." "Doctors told she shouldn't have children." "But she wanted it very much." "And then?" "Nothing." "Alyosha was born, but she died." "Understand, everybody told her there was no way." "But she wanted it very much." "When was it?" "Long ago." "It's ten years already." "Hello!" "Oh, hi!" "Didn't you feel itching?" "Nope." "Weird." "We were [talking] all time about you and you..." "We were." "Hello." "Hello." "Why are you standing on the doorstep?" "Come in." "Dear mommy!" "You and flowers!" "Has somethng happened?" "You're a dunce, Fedya." "And you have much dust in here." "Nothing to breathe." "Put them in some vase." "It will be fresher here." "For me?" "Flowers?" "Brilliant." "Go on, see, [she] is bored." "Listen, Ilya, you're a genius." "Hold them." "Look, nitwit!" "Have you ever seen such beauty?" "One can lose his mind." "Why are you silent?" "Say something." "It's possible." "What is possible?" "It is possible to lose one's mind." "Kyoto, please, use the booth #3." "{Wednesday, June 16, 1976}" "I heard scraps from language incomprehensible for me and tried to imagine her other life, unknown, completely strange to me." "Then, later in the winter, I tried to imagine this distand city, but for some reason couldn't have any clear notion." "And today here, in Kyoto, rehearsal has ended and we are suddenly left completely alone." "This is almost unbelievable." "You are here." "Will we be reliving [that] summer?" "It's summer [yet] nights are completely dark." "I have brought you a present." "Even two of them." "They are here, in the hotel." "Dear God!" "It can't be." "This is also for you." "Alyosha asked me to give it to you." "We have to go, Ilyusha." "Alright." "Let's go, if you want to." "If it is necessary." "It is." "She was near, but with every minute I felt her [being] more and more apart." "That's how I felt and I was amazed at my feelings." "I suddely thought maybe that Leningrad summer has longe since gone for her and was not a worry anymore just like half-forgotten childhood dreams disslove without trace in the past." "How long the winter was!" "I thought I had already forgotten everything but then I saw him and everything suddenly began returning." "Sound of sea, crying of birds before sunrise and even floor squeaking in that seaside house." "I didn't even know I was capable of remembering so clearly." "Most vividly I remebered the moment when I realized what happened with me and what all of that meant." "And how much I needed to tell it to somebody then." "A year ago." "In Leningrad." "Understand, what the trick is, Fedya..." "I'm even ashamed to tell." "I'm even ashamed to tell, Fedya, but... it is so." "I think..." "I love her." "I don't think, I know it." "Whom?" "Whom, Ilyusha?" "Her." "Interesting." "Very." "Who is it?" "My husband." "This is my husband, granny." "Well then?" "You love her - that's nice." "I am very happy about you, Ilyusha." "Honestly." "Why are you happy?" "And why are you sad?" "I don't quite get it." "Fedya, that's nonsense!" "She's japanese!" "So what?" "Fedya, do you have a notion where is Japan and where are us?" "Far away." "Fedya, that is almost Mars!" "But I have overgrown that age when one waits for phosphorecent women from other worlds!" "Why are you yelling!" "?" "This is what I tell you, Ilyusha." "All women which we have loved or love, all of them, in some sense, are aliens." "And there's no need to be hysteric." "I don't remember father and mother died when I was fifteen." "I was left alone." "Then he appeared." "He became my father, brother, husband." "He loves me." "But you?" "Me?" "I never thought about it." "I simply didn't know what is to love." "What should I do now, granny?" "What do you mean, child?" "Now I know that I love" "Ilya." "I simply don't know what's next." "Next?" "You have to say it." "That's all." "And then?" "I don't know, Ilya." "I don't know what comes after that." "Perhaps Alyosha will have a mother." "It does not happen so." "It does!" "Everything happens in the world and you know no worse than me." "Damn rain!" "You don't have to suffer, just tell her, explain as it is usually done in such cases." "I don't know, Fedya, how it is done." "I have longe since forgotten." "There's the phone." "Make a call." "Although, there's no point calling - she's at granny's place." "At granny's place?" "Why at granny's place?" "What a summer!" "It's even weird!" "She asked me to tell how to get there, said she really needed to go." "I explained her." "That's not important, Ilyusha." "Take a shower, calm down." "Everything is fine." "Everything is wonderful." "Tomorrow we'll go to gala and then we'll talk." "What gala?" "It is officially called "Farewell to white nights" and I made decorations." "It is something grand to see." "I promise you." "Ilyusha?" "It's impossible to give an advice, dear." "Simply impossible." "Does he know anything?" "Who?" "Ilya." "You should probably tell him." "You must tell him." "It's good, guys, isn't it?" "I dedicate this to you, Yuko, and to you, Ilya." "Alright, and to you, Alyosha!" "Yuko..." "You see, Yuko..." "I must tell you..." "I, too, must..." "I, too, must." "You are happy, Ilyusha." "You are happy." "You see how many of you there is?" "Of us?" "You, Fedya, Alyosha...granny..." "What are you talking about?" "I will explain, Ilyusha." "There are only two of us." "Just two and no one more." "Ilyusha, his name is Yatsuo" "He is my husband." "He is a doctor." "Everybody says he's a brilliant doctor." "He is kind, good man." "He is smart." "He, you know, is smarter than I am, kinder than me and better than me." "Do you understand?" "I don't." "Fedya, I want to go to sleep." "By God, you are strange fellow, Alyosha." "Sleep if you want, but people have to talk." "Couldn't they talk in the car?" "Unfortunately, that is not possible." "They have a special talk." "Fedya, I don't want to argue with you, I want to sleep." "Do you want to sleep?" "Yep." "Sleep." "Get in the car and sleep." "Alyosha..." "Can you hear, Alyosha?" "Get up." "Get the bottle." "Bottle?" "Glasses..." "Haven't you lost firecrackers?" "I haven't." "Let's go then." "That's for you." "You are not allowed." "You have to drive." "This is for me." "For you to lick." "I am very happy, guys." "Happy to the bottom of my heart." "Go on, Alyosha." "I haven't understood where did you disappear then." "Then?" "After gala?" "Then, Ilyusha, I met japanese in hotel lobby." "They were going to Moscow and I asked them to take me along." "I saw my people and it made me very happy." "I saw everything differently, as if from the side." "I wanted to forget you, granny and these strange nights without darkness." "It seemed to my I started forgetting them, only in evening, three days later, everything suddenly returned again." "I realized I wouldn't be able to live without it." "I left everybody, bought the ticket and returned." "You?" "Me." "Where have you been?" "We were worried sick." "Fyodor called evey phone number." "With difficultly we found out as if you were in Moscow." "Were you in Moscow?" "I was." "Did you like it?" "What?" "I say: did you like it in Moscow?" "I did." "Why are you standing on the doorstep?" "Come on in." "Have a seat." "How is your living here?" "Bad." "Granny was taken to the hospital." "Hospital?" "It's her heart...she's old, after all." "And why are you here?" "Dad sent me to Fyodor." "Why?" "He's alone in the cottage." "Locked himself in." "He says he's working." "He doesn't let anybody in." "And Fyodor?" "Fyodor will be back soon." "Do you want to eat?" "No." "You do." "Eat." "Drink." "Thanks." "You should go to him." "He won't drive you away." "When you disappeared, he changed at once." "He's going all changed." "What?" "All changed." "Yuko, wait!" "Do you know the way?" "I do." "I have gone there." "Do you have money?" "I do." "You have to pay in the railway car." "You will be given a ticket." "I know." "Me and Ilya were given ticket." "Lucky one." "How do you know it was lucky one?" "Ilya told me." "Where did you put it?" "Here it is." "You should have eaten it." "Why?" "Don't you know?" "There's this belief - you eat it and it starts working." "Starts working?" "Yes." "Don't be afraid, eat." "Alright." "Alright." "Now go and everything will work out." "You?" "Me." "Hello." "Hello." "Granny's not here." "She's in hospital." "Alyosha told me." "Granny is not here and it is somewhat empty without her." "Kind of boring." "I am, you see, working." "I see." "Fedya brought this here." "Says it must be finished." "Come in." "Sit down." "There will be rain." "Kind of summer's end." "Probably there are no more such flowers." "Why?" "Perhaps they still grow somewhere." "Maybe last ones are growing." "Excuse me, I have to make a call." "Sit here alone for a while." "I will drive to the station." "It will be just a moment." "I know what I am afraid of." "I am afraid not to see him anymore." "I am afraid of that more than anything else in the world." "What's up with you?" "Why are you crying, silly?" "Look, I brought you flowers." "The very same." "I though storm would kill you." "I was very scared." "Because..." "Take them." "It's lilac." "Because..." "I love you." "I love." "I will go away, Ilyusha." "I have to leave, Ilyusha." "Forever." "There is no other way." "Right?" "Why?" "She simply must go." "That's all." "But you?" "What me?" "Why are you here?" "Fedya is seeing her off." "Why?" "Stop asking stupid questions." "I can not answer to all whys." "Alright." "I won't ask stupid questions." "Forgive me, but, Alyosha, I really don't know answers to all whys." "Give her this." "Tell her I have finished." "You will make it in time." "That's all." "OK?" "OK." "This is it." "Farewell." "We'll meet again if God gives it." "Yuko!" "Listen, Yuko!" "Alyosha!" "I made it in time." "Alyosha..." "This is for you." "What is this?" "Full score." "Father asked to give it to you." "You must go." "Listen, be on you way." "Yuko!" "Go!" "Go!" "Yuko!" "Yuko!" "Yuko!" "Do you hear, Yuko!" "Come back some time!" "We will be sad without you, remember it." "OK?" "I love you." "Put it there." "This, Ilyusha, is the house I live in." "Be bored for a while." "I will make you a coffee." "Yatsuo was writing a book." "I told you, remember?" "He was a doctor." "It's awfully hot." "Drink." "Why do you say "was"?" "It's easy to understand." "That's the way they talk when man dies." "He was sick for a long time." "Since childhood." "Some kind of heart condition." "But nobody took notice of it, neither him nor me." "He always took pills and laughed..." "It was always like that as far as I remember." "Everybody got used to it." "Both him and me." "Then there was this trip." "It was hard to go." "There were no money to spare and much trouble." "He became as if obsessed." "You see, he became as if obsessed I should go." "I understood it only later." "After that." "He knew." "He knew clearly he was about to die soon." "And he wanted I was not near." "Understand, he was a doctor." "But nobody can know it." "No doctor [can]." "Even brilliant." "Even the best." "I also thought so." "Then, after couple of months, Yatsuo's father gave me his diary." "Yatsuo didn't want me to see this diary ever." "But father decided differently." "When did it happen?" "He died a week after my return." "But we didn't see each other." "Well, he didn't see me." "He rarely came to his senses." ""My knowledge tires me." "It is painful to write this because all my youth was given to this knowledge." "It seemed to me that by realizing these secret I would achieve immortality." "Now I know - there will be no immortality ever."" "Please, no need to continue." "Well, you're right." "Let's go, Ilya." "It's hard for me in here, too." "Once I liked to imagine Earth as bright, blue star in galactic song." "Since I realized I was doomed, whole world started surrounding me." "There's just one thing keeping my interest, perhaps the most important and only interest in my life." "I recall her face." "I myself managed to arrange things so that she wouldn't be beside me now." "It scares me to imagine how hard it would be for her." "?" "I didn't know." "Dear Lord!" "Was it his father?" "Yes." "Today is ?" "?" "This is our festivity." "This day we light fire in the temple and put fire into lanterns." "Then we light another fire using this one:" "in small boat." "And we let light flow down the river." "That's the way we remember the ones we loved, the ones who were dear to us." "Father wanted light in Yatsuo's room at night." "He asked to bring him the lantern at sunrise." "?" ", guilty. ?" ", guilty." "I am guilty before everybody." "How long did this winter last?" "I don't remember anything, except snow." "I remember grief as well." "Grief and sorrow." "Guilty." "Of what?" "Guilty of loving him." "That is what I'm guilty of." "God!" "What is my guilt?" "Granny... didn't she asked to tell me anything?" "She did." "She asked to tell she remembered you." "Remembered and loved." "And she wished you happiness." "Happiness?" "For me?" "What does that mean, Ilyusha?" "Just happiness." "For you." "No matter what." "Stop it, dear." "Stop tormenting yourself." "But why?" "Why is everything this way?" "A year ago in Leningrad you left and Alyosha kept asking me:" ""Why?" I couldn't answer and got angry." "I even yelled." "Because I really didn't know answer to his "why"." "It wasn't just a dream." "All of it was." "It was our life." "The one neither you, nor me would want to change today." "Right?" "Yes." "Everything must be so." "Only what should we do now?" "How should we live next, Ilyusha?" "Next?" "We had to go on living." "We both knew it." "We had to go on living." "Because we had too much to keep." "We had that Leningrad summer, Alyosha, Fedya, granny." "Our mutual sorrow and our mutual joy." "And also music." "We had also music to keep."