"(THEME SONG PLAYING)" "All right, everyone." "The bus will be here in a few minutes." "Now, remember, even though this ski trip is about having fun, we live in a land of laws which must be obeyed if this society is to survive." "In other words, I'll be watching you two." "All I heard was "fun."" "(LAUGHS)" "It's our first romantic weekend away with the girls." "And the school's picking up the tab." "Okay." "I was able to obtain a blueprint of the ski lodge." "Our room is here." "The girls' room is here." "Feeny's room is right in the middle." "Huh!" "He's a sly one." "At precisely 2:00 a.m." "you will sneak from our room to Feeny's door to check for snoring." "Rhythmic or intermittent?" "Rhythmic!" "I told you rhythmic!" "Am I alone in this?" "Okay, okay, rhythmic snoring confirmed." "Then I proceed to sneak over to the girls' room, and I tell Angela that you're dreaming and calling out her name." "She then walks down the hallway, past a snoring Feeny, to your room." "While you're with Angela," "I'm gonna be busy keeping Topanga occupied until Angela returns." "Many hours later." "You know, maybe we should tell the girls about our top-secret plans, you know, so we don't spring it on them." "What?" "No, no, no, no, no." "Cory, Cory, Cory." "You are so naive." "The women want to come to our room." "They just need some lame excuse, and we are just the guys to give it to them." "I love skiing." "Look at those two." "You know what they're planning, don't you?" "Yeah, the midnight switch." "You gotta love the effort." "Yeah, it looks like they're working hard, too." "(INDISTINCT)" "I see diagrams." "You know, the humane thing to do would be to tell them they don't have a prayer." "Oh, sure." "But the fun thing to do is..." "BOTH:" "We love you." "Never gonna happen." "All right, everyone." "The bus is here." "Now, remember, I don't want another incident like last year's fiasco in the Amish country." "Why is everyone looking at me?" "Someone's planning a romantic weekend, huh?" "Well, it is a weekend without our parents, so you can't blame me for thinking about it." "I'm thinking about it, too." "Really?" "Yeah." "But it might be more romantic if you talked to me about our weekend plans instead of Shawn." "Okay." "That could be." "That could be." "We start by tipping the guy so he stops the ski lift at around sunset." "Uh-huh." "And then there's no one around to keep you warm except me." "I get so cold." "And what do you do?" "And what do you do?" "Well, I'd put you in front of the fireplace, and we'd do some of this, and we'd drink hot chocolate and do some of this." "You see how we like all the same things, Cory?" "Yeah." "Listen..." "Let's never get off the couch, okay?" "Well, that doesn't leave us a lot of time for skiing." "Oh!" "There's plenty of time to ski." "We're gonna be together for the rest of our lives." "Ow!" "It's broken!" "It's broken in seven places!" "Give me 50 cc's of St. Joseph's Chewable Aspirin, stat!" "The slopes are treacherous." "He fell getting off the bus." "Those buses are treacherous." "Hmm." "(CORY GRUNTING)" "Well, I don't think anything's broken." "It's probably just a mild sprain." "Embellish it for my friends." "I'll have the doctor come and embellish it for you." "My guess is, you'll live but you won't ski." "Sorry." "Well, there goes our senior ski weekend, huh?" "No, Cory, we can have a great weekend here together." "We can sit here while everybody else is out playing in the snow and skiing and having fun, and we can talk about how much fun they're having without us." "Go ski." "Thank you." "No, go ahead." "Go." "Shawn never would've left me." "Hey, Cory, get your foot out of... (GROANS)" "Ski injury." "I hit a little ice patch on Devil's Run." "Devil's Run is closed this weekend." "Then what I did was insane." "So, how about some hot chocolate, insane person?" "Well, I'd get you some, but my foot really hurts." "No, I'll get it for us." "It's part of my job." "This must be a great place to work." "Yeah, but during the day it gets a little quiet 'cause everyone's out on the hill and I'm stuck inside." "Well, I guess today you're stuck with me." "I've been stuck with worse." "Thanks." "Do you play backgammon?" "My middle name is backgammon." "What's your first name?" "Cory." "Mine's Lauren." "We spent two hours on a jigsaw puzzle, and half the pieces are missing?" "Yeah, these idiots keep putting the money into the snow-making equipment and completely skimp on the puzzle budget." "How do they stay in business?" "You know, you can still see the picture if you use a little imagination." "Yeah, there's a curly-haired kid falling off a bus." "And a cute mountain girl coming to his rescue." "Cory, I had so much fun." "I got on the wrong lift, and wound up doing six runs with the Olympic team." "Good for you." "No, but the best part is" "I think I'm gonna be in a chapstick commercial." "Good for you." "I'm sorry, Cory, you must be so bored." "Ok, I'll change out of my ski suit, and when I get back, we'll spend the rest of the night together, okay?" "Looks like you'll be in good hands." "Here." "Your own piece of the mountain." "Keep it as a souvenir." "Lauren." "Thanks." "It's been the best day with a mildly sprained ankle I've ever had." "Well, somebody's got a crush." "Lauren's just being nice, that's all." "Cory." "You think I don't know you better than anybody?" "Shawn, Lauren's being nice to me because it's her job." "Okay?" "As a matter of fact, after today," "I'm not planning on spending any more time with her." "Cory, you think I don't know you better than anybody?" "Okay, Topanga, it's your turn." "If you could change your mate into one animal, what pet would it be and why?" "Please, nothing fuzzy-wuzzy." "A falcon." "Yes!" "A falcon, the hunter of all that is fuzzy-wuzzy." "No, a falcon, because I want you to be free to soar majestically as long as I know that you'll always come back to me." "If I ever get like that, kill me." "I would have to." "Hey, Lauren!" "Why don't you join us?" "No, Lauren's probably got better things to do." "Oh, no." "Yes, please come join us." "We could use someone whose answers aren't so pukey." "You know, I could take you." "You don't wanna dance with me, girl." "You don't see me running, do you?" "Bring it on, Topanga." "Oh, it's on." "All right, chick fight!" "Move the table." "Ready?" "Ready!" "Oh, no!" "Help!" "CORY:" "Stop, stop, stop." "You guys look comfortable enough without me." "No, no, no, come on, let's keep playing." "You can ask the next question." "Cory's up." "(EXHALES)" "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" "Because I'm hot, okay?" "So I can't be the only one who's hot, so who's hot?" "Well, maybe you're sitting too close to the fire." "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)" "Why would you say that?" "I can't believe you said that." "Okay." "If you had an affair," "(SCREAMS) do you think the guilt would change your behavior?" "Where do they come up with that?" "Why, I mean, that is such a crazy question." "I mean, why would they ask me that question?" "Me?" "The falcon!" "I mean, everyone knows that falcons are notoriously monogamous birds." "I mean, it's just so crazy." "I can't believe it." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Oh, wow!" "Oh, now I'm exhausted." "Me, too." "I'm going to bed." "Well, I'm right behind you." "I mean, I'm going to my room." "Right?" "That's where I'm going?" "Right." "That's where you're going." "Right." "Right." "I'll be in my room." "Reading." "The Bible." "Wait, I'm not tired." "Who wants to see a movie?" "Then, Cory, you can stay up, but don't stay up too late because I want my Cory falcon flying down the slopes with me tomorrow, okay?" "Good night." "Good night, Lauren." "Good night." "Well, I better get some sleep, too." "Yeah, go ahead." "I'm just gonna sit here, let the fire die down" "and watch the moon rise over the mountains." "Sounds nice." "I've never done anything like that before 'cause I'm from the city." "And in the city we don't see that many stars because of what they call..." "Ambient light." "Right." "Ambient light." "I was raised in the city, too." "Philadelphia?" "Mmm-mmm." "New York." "But we moved when I was 13." "I thought I'd hate living in the mountains, but now I wouldn't live anywhere else." "Well, I'm from the city." "I could only live in the city, you know." "Couldn't live without that ambient light." "In fact, I don't want to see anything in the sky." "Look." "Okay." "Wow, there's so many stars up there." "It's so beautiful." "You were distracted by the city lights." "The fire's going out." "Should I throw another log on it?" "(INAUDIBLE)" "So the next thing I know, I'm jumping out of a plane." "My dad and brother are scared to death..." "Wait, you can jump off a plane, but you can't get off a bus?" "Well, I'm an ironic kind of guy." "I like that." "And I like the way you're really interested in what I'm saying." "Well, you're easy to listen to." "And I do think you're interesting." "You're the most interesting cute mountain girl who's ever rescued me." "See?" "You do listen." "Thanks for pointing out all this natural beauty of everything" "(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING) around me." "How you doing?" "Mr. Feeny." "What are you doing up this late?" "Au contraire, Mr. Matthews." "I am up with the sun, ready to make first tracks." "But I'm quite surprised to see you up this early." "Cory." "Lauren." "(CHUCKLES)" "It's morning." "So, Lauren, I had a nice time talking to you." "So did I." "I like you, Cory." "Yeah, I like you, too." "But we can't do anything about that, can we?" "No." "So, guess I should get ready for work." "Well, I'm ready." "Lauren." "We could be friends." "Hey, your ankle's better." "So I guess you'll be skiing today." "Yeah, that's what I came up here for." "Yeah." "I mean, you wouldn't want to stay inside on your last day." "Have fun." "Don't get hurt." "All night?" "Nothing happened, Shawn." "We were just talking." "All night?" "Good morning, Cory." "How's your ankle feeling?" "It's confused." "What?" "I mean, it's bothering me, and it's not bothering me." "I don't know what I should do." "If it's bothering you at all, then you should stay off of it." "Yeah, it's bothering me." "Hey!" "I saw you with Lauren." "Your ankle's fine." "You lied to Topanga!" "I didn't do anything." "You lied to Topanga!" "Shawn, all we did was talk." "All you did was talk?" "That's it." "No kissy?" "Just talky." "Well, are you gonna tell Topanga?" "Why would I tell Topanga about something that's not gonna turn into anything?" "If it's not gonna turn into anything, then how come you lied about your ankle?" "Listen, I've been with Topanga forever." "Okay?" "I don't want to have feelings for another girl." "I can't have feelings for another girl." "Lauren will understand that." "Sure, she will." "Everything's fine." "You don't have a problem at all." "Read the Bible!" "Yes, sir, may I help you?" "I don't wanna have feelings for another girl." "Neither do I." "Why aren't you skiing?" "I can't have feelings for another girl." "You understand that, right?" "I understand it." "And I respect it." "Why aren't you skiing?" "Because I need to make sure we understand that last night didn't mean anything." "Does Topanga know you're here?" "No, I told her my ankle was still sore." "So you lied to your girlfriend because last night didn't mean anything." "I lied to my girlfriend because I don't want to hurt her." "And I don't know what last night meant." "Cory, you know in that game, they ask," ""If you could describe your perfect mate, who would it be?"" "Well, I've always known the answer." "Please don't do this." "It wasn't you." "Oh!" "I'm trying to say, I wasn't expecting you." "But sometimes people take you by surprise." "Surprise." "Good." "Well, I'm glad we cleared this up." "You kissed her?" "What am I gonna do?" "Well, I'll tell you what you're not gonna do, Cory." "You are not gonna tell Topanga, you understand me?" "I know women, Cor, and I know she'll forgive you for talking to Lauren, and I know she'll even forgive you for lying to her because you never have before, but she will never ever forgive you for kissing another girl." "Don't tell her, Cor." "Don't." "I want this whole thing never to have happened." "Well, it's too late for that." "Hi, Topanga." "Hi, Cory." "You're back on your feet." "Do you wanna ski a few runs with me before they close the ski lifts?" "We need to talk." "Okay." "Honesty's the most important thing in a relationship." "And you mean everything to me, so I want to be honest with you." "I lied about my ankle today so I could stay at the lodge." "Why would you want to stay at the lodge?" "Well, I met an interesting person that I liked talking to." "Lauren." "You lied to me so you can spend time with another girl?" "See, after you went to bed last night, we spent the whole night talking." "And this morning I told her it didn't mean anything." "You lied to me?" "I'm sorry." "I'd rather break my ankle into 50,000 pieces than cause you pain." "I'm never gonna lie to you again." "Cory, it's okay for you to talk to an interesting person, but it's not okay that you lied to me." "I know." "I shouldn't lie to someone I love more than anything." "I love you, too." "(SIGHS)" "(MOUTHING)" "Did anything else happen between you?" "(MOUTHING)" "What?" "I'm sorry." "What?" "Did anything else happen between you?" "No." "Nothing." "Be sure and tell your friends about the Mount Sun Lodge!" "They make me say that." "It was nice meeting you, Lauren." "Listen, I don't want to cause any trouble between you and your girlfriend." "You don't have to apologize." "I wasn't going to." "You ran off before we could talk." "I said I like you, Cory, and I meant it." "I don't want to ignore that." "Well, it's all in this letter." "I hope you'll read it." "Are we ready?" "I gotta go." "Hi." "Hi." "Can I sit next to you on the bus?" "You better." "Let's talk all the way home, okay?" "I'd love that." "Good." "I'll just put this stuff on the bus."