"And when my baby" "When my baby smiles at me" "Gee, what a wonderful wonderful light" "That comes to her eyes" "Look at the light, folks" "There's the light that just brings love" "That's it that's it" "That says peace on earth goodwill to all men" "And it brings real harmony" "I sigh, I cry" "Why, it's just a bit of heaven" "When my baby" "When my baby smiles at me" "Is everybody happy" "Mr. Gregory." "What is it?" "The relief waiters are here." "What are you staring at?" "Ice water." "C'mon, you guys, get your money out before I shoot." "Put that dough in and don't try any tricks.!" "When I say I'll shoot, I'll shoot." "I win!" "I win again!" "Who are you?" "The relief waiters." "We used to work at a gas station." "The agency sent us." "With all the people out of work, the agency sent you two!" "Nice of you to say that." "As busy as we are, I'll make the best of it." "Button your coat." "Straighten your tie." "Yes, sir." "Be neat." "Pull down your vest." "I want no trouble." "You won't have any." "One mistake and I'll throw you out." "Yes, you will." "Yes, I will!" "I said you would!" "Get in there." "Follow me." "Yes, sir." "Hmm-hmm." "We want our patrons to feel like they're members of one happy family." "I just saw the Andrews Sisters, the three of'em." "Quiet." "These are your tables." "See if you can make a waiter out of this... person." "I'll try." "A snooty fella!" "When a customer comes in, push the chair under them." "When they get up, pull the chair back." "When they sit, push it in." "When they get up, back." "What happens here?" "When you get your order, show the checker your slip." "I what?" "Show the checker your slip." "I can't." "Why not?" "I'm ashamed to tell." "I'm not wearing any." "No, check on your food." "Me..." "and my shadow" "Yes, sir" "Strolling down" "That avenue" "Ah, say" "Just me" "And my little shadow" "Not a soul to tell our troubles to" "You know when it's 12 o'clock" "We climb the stairs" "We never, never knock" "Because there's nobody there" "Just me" "Me" "And my shadow uh-huh" "All alone and feelin' blue" "Remember everything I told you." "Yeah." "If he wants to sit, push the chair in." "If he gets up, pull it out." "Anybody knows that." "Three important things I want you to remember:" "If a customer asks how much is dinner, say "$3."" "If they say "It's too much," say, "See the manager. "" ""We won't eat here. " You say, "If you don't, somebody else will. "" "Somebody else will?" "That's all." "I've got to wait on the table." "Run it over in your mind." "I'll keep punching'!" "If I wanna be a good waiter, I gotta remember." "$3 for dinner; go tell the manager;" "if you don't, somebody else will." "$3; tell the manager; if you don't, somebody else will." "Hello, girls." "Oh!" "Where'd that guy go?" "What did you pull that chair for?" "Three dollars." "I'll report you for this." "Tell it to the manager." "I oughta punch you in the nose." "If you don't, somebody else will." "Introducing three wonderful singers of wonderful songs." "The Andrews Sisters;" "Maxene, Laverne, and Patty." "When stars appear" "I seem to hear" "A serenade" "I watch the moon" "And then my tune is softly played" "The music thrills" "And gently fills my heart with bliss" "I hear the theme" "And want to dream and reminisce" "I close my eyes" "'Neath the blanket of indigo skies" "And my serenade sighs" "Like a breeze from heaven above" "Even at dawn" "When the stars and the moonlight have gone" "My refrain lingers on" "Like a memory of love" "Though love has flown and I'm always alone" "I'm not afraid" "I'll always keep my dreamy" "My sleepy serenade" "I like to dream a sleepy..." "Serenade and dream my life away" "To a dreamy" "Sleepy serenade" "Good evening, Alderman." "How is Mrs. Birch?" "Swell, thanks." "I'll get you a ringside table." "No, please." "I'd like a table in the corner somewhere." "Here I am, Daddy." "Oh, this way, please." "Hey, you." "Excuse me." "How do you do?" "Thank you." "Good evening, folks." "Want to start with soup?" "I don't like soup." "Give me the reason." "I don't have to, other than I don't like soup!" "Maybe the young lady would." "She doesn't like soup." "It's good soup." "I don't care how good it is!" "We don't want soup!" "Somebody's gotta eat the soup!" "Feed it to the chef." "The chef is souped up now!" "I think I will have soup." "You'll do nothing of the sort." "Oh, Daddy!" "Don't talk back to your father." "I'm not her father." "Then let the lady have some soup." "All right, give her soup." "Give us both some soup!" "We ran out of soup." "You've got it on the menu!" "I'll take it off." "We ain't gonna give you nothin' we ain't got." "I'm awful glad he ain't your father." "Ahem." "Here, wash it down." "I think you're awful cute." "Oh, Gregory." "Mr. Bannister." "Moose Matson is right over there." "All right." "Mr. Bannister?" "Thanks for leading me to the Moose." "Charlie, this is not the time to start anything with the Moose." "I'm here to finish it." "He's afraid you'll double-cross him." "I will in exactly 15 minutes." "I'll prove it to the district attorney." "Prove what?" "Never mind." "Just whisper "payroll job" to the Moose." "He'll know." "You sure?" "He'll know I'm the only guy in the world that can pin it on him." "He never mentioned it to me." "Why should he?" "You're only his front man, sidekick and back-stabber." "How much of it do you want?" "All of it." "But the Moose being a friend, I'll settle for half." "Hello, hello!" "Hi, Moose." "Meet my top man, Mr. Bannister." "C'mon, sit down." "Let's make it a foursome." "Here's that legal matter you dictated." "Will it hold up in court?" "He's the lawyer." "Says it's screwy but it's ironclad." "There's something else." "I just ran into Charlie Smith." "Girls, powder your noses." "Go on, beat it." "Don't be long, Moose." "Okay, honey." "C'mon." "Well?" "Charlie said you beat him to the Worthington payroll job." "He wants a 50-50 cut to keep quiet." "That cap-pistol hoodlum!" "If you don't come across, he'll tell the D.A. Let the stool pigeon sing!" "If you've got the cash, we oughta make him an offer." "I've got it." "But tell him he's got to find it before he can cut in." "Where is it?" "I'm on your side." "You can tell me." "Sure." "The hiding place for my money... is in my head." "Is everybody happy?" "Yes!" "Then everybody dance!" "C'mon, Daddy." "Didn't you hear what Ted Lewis said?" ""Everybody dance. " No, thank you." "All right." "I'll find another partner!" "If you do, I'll leave." "Put it down here." "Your food, sir." "Eat it yourself!" "Yeah, boy!" "If he wants to be kind, it's all right with me." "Is everybody happy?" "Everybody!" "Me too." "What do you call this?" "Duck." "What's the matter?" "Somebody throw something?" "No, no." "That's the duck." "Oh, I thought..." "No, no." "I want two legs." "Two legs." "How many legs are on this?" "You can't do it that way." "Put that down before you cut your hands." "I'm spanking' it!" "Pull a leg off." "I don't care how I get it." "That's it." "C'mon, give." "The boss!" "You're both fired!" "Back to the gas station.!" "Get out!" "I'm sorry we was thrown out." "Keep quiet." "I apologize." "Never mind." "Now when my baby smiles at me" "Doot-dee-doot Give me that!" "You want it?" "Yes." "Now look what you did!" "I'm sorry, Chuck." "You're sorry.!" "Look what you did to me!" "Get to work." "Now we're shadows." "I'll get to work." "You ought to be ashamed of yourself." "I am." "But I'm gonna make you proud of me." "What do you mean?" "I'm not gonna be a gas attendant all my life." "I'm gonna have a club of my own." "I'm gonna have Ted Lewis and the Andrews Sisters." "Own a nightclub!" "Don't look now... but your eye is dripping." "Quiet!" "You just had us thrown out." "If we don't get on the job, you'll have us thrown out here." "Okay." "All right, Chuck, I'll work hard... but I don't intend to be a gas attendant all my life." "Hey, Chuck." "Don't bother me, Ferdie." "Stop playing with balloons." "I'm gonna blow 'em up." "Put those away." "Get on thejob." "Okay." "What's the matter with you?" "Chuck?" "8 gallons for $1, that's pretty cheap." "That don't include ethyl." "You mean ethyl is more expensive?" "Certainly." "If a car drove up and asked for ethyl, what would you do?" "I'd say she don't work here anymore." "No, no." "You'd put ethyl in the car." "Why?" "I don't know the girl!" "She's got no right hangin' around." "What can we do for you?" "We've got a special on." "Ooh!" "I think you got a blowout!" "Just one of his pranks." "What can we do for you?" "I want to park for a couple hours." "Certainly." "Nothing but service." "Park the man's car." "Right!" "Be careful with it." "I just had it waxed." "Don't worry." "He should have his license taken away." "I'll see that he does..." "as soon as he gets one." "All right." "Ten gallons of gas." "I'm in a hurry." "Check your oil?" "No... no!" "Want some oil?" "Check the water." "The water's okay." "Hurry with the gas." "With every 4 quarts of oil we give you "die-fly. "" "Kills moths in rugs, bugs and slugs." "Ten gallons of gas." " Want some oil?" " No!" "You a tough guy?" "Yes!" "You're wasting time." "Clean up the back." "How 'bout new tires?" "Here's our card." "When it's fully punched, you get new dishes." "The lady'll enjoy that." "I'm not married." "Want some oil?" "I don't want tires, dishes, or fly spray." "Most of all, I don't want oil!" "In case you want some, we got it." "Hurry up with that gas!" "Quit stalling." "Get the gas in." "All right." "What do you know?" "Hmm-hmm." "Hmm-hmm!" "Ain't loaded." "What was that?" "That looks like Moose Matson!" "Moose Matson?" "You're right." "What are you doing?" "What's the big idea?" "I wanna get outta here, get back to the gas station." "What is it you want?" "My mama." "Get over here and drive." "Get up there and help him." "Make it snappy." "Yes, sir." "Look out!" "Whoa!" "Aaah!" "It's awful quiet, ain't it?" "Pull over someplace, will ya?" "Lefty... get a doctor, will ya?" "Who's Lefty?" "I don't know." "Lefty isn't here." ""I, Sidney Matson, known as Moose Matson..." ""being of sound mind and under no duress..." ""make this my last will and testament." ""Whereas anybody who associates with me must be a rat..." ""whereas I can't tell my friends from stoolies or chiselers..." ""and whereas it's impossible to foresee who will turn yellow when the going gets tough..." ""I hereby bequeath all my worldly possessions... to those with me at the final moment when the coppers dim my lights. "" "That's us!" "You mean, we get his money?" "There is none as far as we know." "Moose always said he kept his money in his head." "We never learned what he meant." "The only tangible asset is a tavern on highway 129." "A tavern?" "That's a hotel." "Yeah." "One minute you work in a station... next you own a hotel." "Next back in the station." "Send Mr. Smith in." "I've taken the liberty of asking my associate... to accompany you to your property and turn over the keys." "It won't be too much bother?" "No bother at all." "Hello, Charlie." "Meet Mr. Murray and Mr. Jones." " Mr. Murray, Mr. Jones." " Hello." "These are the beneficiaries of the Matson will." "I know." "It won't be too much trouble to take us there?" "Not at all." "I'll see you're taken care of." "Thanks." "Since your property's off the main highway, we'll take a private bus." "I'm making arrangements." "Meet me tomorrow at 8:00." "We'll be there." "The bus is operated by a man named Harry Hoskins." "You'll see his name." "I hope we're not putting you out." "Not at all." "It's gonna be a pleasure to take you for a ride." "See ya tomorrow." "He's gonna take us for a ride!" "We don't want no roadhouse." "Anything you get for nothin' is no good." "Let's get back to the station." "That's fine." "Just when you get to advance yourself, you wanna be a gas station attendant!" "You missed 'em!" "Here's the bus, Harry Hoskins." "Yeah, Harry Hoskins." "Hey, what are you doing in that car?" "I'm Chuck Murray." "Behave yourself." "This is FerdieJones." "We're supposed to pick up a ride." "Mr. Smith said he'd make the arrangements." "Oh, Charlie." "Let me take these bags." "Give the man a hand." "Here you are." "Give him a hand with the bags!" "You said give him a hand!" "Give it to him." "Do you know anything about the Forrester's Club?" "I do." "You know about the club?" "We inherited it." "You did?" "That'll be the..." "Which way you goin'?" "North." "North?" "Don't you wish you were goin' south?" "Why?" "That's the way your bag went." "Why you..." "We'll leave as soon as the rest of my passengers get here." "I thought we were the only two." "Well, I..." "Mr. Hoskins?" "I'm Norma Lind." "Oh, yes." "This is Mr. Murray, Mr. Jones." "Hello." "Have I got time for breakfast before we leave?" "We'll wait for you." "Anytime I'll wait for you." "I'd love to buy breakfast for you myself!" "You trying to be a cavalier?" "What's a cavalier?" "A man who takes a girl out, wines and dines her... and says good night without kissing her." "That's what you call a cavalier?" "Where I come from." "Where I come from they call 'em suckers." "Mr. Hoskins?" "Mr. Hoskins!" "Why don't you look where you're going?" "You blind?" "I hit you, didn't I?" "Get up." "Did you get hurt?" "No, I'm all right!" "Mr. Hoskins?" "I'm Camille Brewster, the radio actress." "Yes, Miss Brewster." "Mr. Murray and Mr. Jones." "How do you do?" "Suppose you've heard me on the air?" "Uh-uh." "No?" "See if you recognize me." "Aaah!" "Air-raid alarm." "Det-det-det!" "That's the scream that opens The Tales of Terror programs." "Right." "I knew it." "That was the scream, but no more." "After 60 programs, I got mad." "I'm an actress, not just a sound effect." "So I quit!" "Guess I'll go back to the movies." "Movie actress?" "No, usherette." "Something to drink?" "Draw one." " Draw one, right." " May I have service, please?" "How long ago was your juice squeezed?" "It's fresh this morning." "What time?" "Exactly an hour ago." "That's too long." "Its vitamin C was deficient half hour after squeezing." "People need vitamin C. Take that girl." "Hyperthyroid, slight pituitary deficiency." "She'd be better off with fewer eggs and more juice." "I'm doing all right." "I'm doing special research on glands and their vitamin consumption." "I'm a doctor." "If this is a line, it's at least a new one." "Oh no." "I have credentials." "I had them in my pocket." "Where could they be?" "What happened to them?" "Don't think I didn't see you do that." "Mr. Jenkins, can I squeeze him with my own hands?" "What's the trouble?" "I poured your juice down the drain." " I squeezed a batch an hour ago." " And it's now ex..." "Is that the right time?" "Oh, wow!" "Yes." "Beg your pardon." "You sure you never heard me on the air?" "No." "Camille Brewster?" "You must have a cheap radio." "Sorry I'm late." "Sorry I'm late." "Well, sorry I'm late." "Let's all go." "I'm not gonna leave." "I gotta wait for Charlie." "Here comes Charlie Smith." "Hello, Charlie." "I told you not to pick up other passengers." "So I make a few extra bucks." "They won't bother you." "Glad to see you." "Sorry I'm late." "It's all right." "The age of"chiselry. "" "Chuck, wait." "I'm surprised at you!" "Ain't you got no manners?" "I'm sorry." "Thank you." "You're a gentleman." "Thank you." "Go ahead, ruin the man's car." "Don't you think you'll ruin your eyes reading in a moving car?" "I only have this much to go." "Mr. Jones, are you a married man?" "No." "Neither am I." "He's old enough, ain't he?" "Oh, yes." "Certainly I'm old enough." "I play post office." "Post office?" "That's a kid's game." "Not the way I play." "Sorry to take you folks out of the way like this." "Boy, what a mess!" "What'd I tell you?" "Old shutters!" "Looks like the setting for The Death of The Howling Corpse." "I don't like the looks of the road." "If it's all right..." "I suggest we stay here for the night and get an early start in the morning." "No." "That's fine by us." "I'd love to have you people." "What do you think?" "It's smartest." "There might be a washout on the road." "Leave everything to me." "I'll get your bags." "C'mon everybody." "It's a good thing we got these groceries." "Can I use your flashlight?" "What'd I tell you?" "The first thing that goes is the shutter." "Oh, quiet." " You got the right key?" " That's the only one." "Let me try." "I don't like these kinds of places." "Any place painted brown I never cared for." "He can't open it." "Hold the groceries." "Stand back." "I'll show you how I used to do it when I played cowboys and Indians." "I used to be a barricadin' ram." "Hup!" "Hup!" "Are you all right?" "Who moved the door?" "What's on him?" "A cobweb?" "It ain't a veil." "Let's have a look around." "At least the roof is still on." "Oh, a spooky joint." "What was that?" "Just a minute." "He's running away with our baggage!" "I shoulda known better." "That's the oldest chisel in the world, the wildcat bus racket." "Collect the fares and luggage then get rid of the passengers." "We're stuck." "We'd better get in before we drown." "You dirty crook!" "He run away with my toothbrush." "And my new nightgown and a pair of mules." "You got mules?" "Now I gotta get outta bed without my mules!" "Without your mules?" "I always keep mules under my bed." "Don't the board of health say nothin'?" "What do you know?" "You dirty crook!" "At least we've got a place to sleep." "I'll build a fire." "Hey, Chuck." "Oh, Chuck?" "Oh, Chuck?" "Don't get excited." "I'm here." "Don't ever leave." "Keep this flashlight." "Find the cellar and rustle up heat." "Get busy with the food." "There's something wrong here." "Where are you, Ferdie?" "I feel a damp opening." "You've got your hand in my mouth!" "Oh, you." "Gee, that's a wonderful fire, Doc." "I used to be a boy scout counselor." " Do that again?" " What?" " Smile." " Why?" " Hmm, not so bad." " Oh no, they're very good." "Not a cavity in them." "I've been careful to assimilate calcium." "I wonder what's in these cupboards?" "What's wrong with you?" "You goin' crazy?" " There's plenty of dishes." " Well, that's fine." "Nothing." "Whoo-whoo whoo-whoo!" "Behave yourself." "I was playin' choo-choo train." "Never mind that." "You never let me have no fun." "Take this bucket and go outside." "Maybe you'll find a rain barrel." "You want water?" "Go get it." "Okay." "You get it." "Go ahead." "Okay." "I'm not gonna do nothin'." "I know." "You don't have to get tough." "Give me a hand, Mr. Murray." "I don't wanna go." "I said go outside!" "It's too dark." "I don't wanna go outside by myself with nobody to talk to." "Talk to yourself." "I get too many stupid answers." "Go outside!" "Okay." "I scared you!" "Yeah?" "Go on!" "See if I don't get scared out here myself." "Go on!" "Ooo... ooo!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "How ya doin', Charlie?" "Okay." "I'll be up shortly." "Supper's almost ready." "Need help?" "No, I'll be all right." "Make it snappy." "Soup's on." "Come and get it." "Soup!" "Don't rush." "Don't reach!" "If you want something, ask." "You have a tongue, haven't you?" "I can reach further with my hands." "Never mind!" "Where's tall, dark and gruesome?" "Better call him, Ferdie." "Call him." "Oh, Charlie?" "Louder.!" "Go on, call him!" "Call him!" "Oh, Charlie?" "Charlie." "Oh, Charlie." "Hey, Charlie!" "Oh, Char..." "Well?" "I'm scared." "I went into the kitchen by the cellar steps." "I was lookin' down and it's very dark." "I started to call him, "Oh, Charlie?" "Oh, Charlie?"" "He didn't answer." "Maybe he isn't hungry anymore." "Well, let's eat before the soup gets cold." "Okay." "Just like mother used to make." "It stinks." "It might be the water used in making the soup." "I'll find out." "Taste it, Ferdie." "It might be poison." "Go on." "Taste it." "It might be poison." "What are you worrying about?" "Go on and taste it." "Go on." "Taste it!" "It's the water all right." "From the pump." "Very peculiar." "You said it." "Well, the beans will be ready in a moment." "Isn't it a shame there isn't a band?" "We could dance between courses." "Wait a minute!" "Just as I thought." "At least we can have music." "Look at all the records.!" "Doctor, would you like to dance?" "I'd love to." "I must learn someday." "Good." "Mmmmm!" "Whew!" "Whew-ew!" "Awfully damp in spots." "I feel like a flower after a rain." "I'm drooping." "Flower?" "Say, Smitty never did come back." "That's right." "I should look for him." "I'll go with you." "Get me that lamp." "Do you have more alcohol?" "In that box." "What did I do?" "Oh!" "Doctor, be careful." "Uh-oh." "Ferdie, see what's in there." "I'm not curious." "Go see what's in there!" "I'd like to see you make me." "You made me." " Go on.!" " Okay.!" "It reminds me of the secret door in The Case of the Mummy's Claw." "What kind of place is this?" "It's a barroom." "Barroom?" "It's a funny place to put it." "This is the way they fooled the police during prohibition." "You think there's anything in those bottles?" "A short beer?" "I feel awful." "If there is, it must be bootleg." "Remember how that used to wear the enamel off your teeth?" "Once I drank 6 bottles." "I didn't ever stagger." "Didn't stagger?" "I couldn't move!" "Those were great days!" "Remember?" "Who, me?" "I was too young, a mere child." "Are you kiddin'?" "Chuck, you see it?" "Mr. Smith's carnation." "You girls stay here." "It'll be safer." "C'mon, you're not a girl." "When I was little, I used to play with dolls." "This way!" "Let me make up my own mind!" "C'mon." "C'mon." "Mr. Smith?" "Mr. Smith!" "Wait a minute." "There's his flashlight." "Why, so it is." "That's peculiar." "Mr. Smith?" "Mr. Smith?" "Oh, Charlie?" "Charlie Smith?" "Oh, Charlie?" "Oh, Charlie." " Mr. Smith?" " Dinner's ready.!" " Charlie Smith?" " What could have become ofhim?" " He must be down here." " Mr. Smith.!" " That's strange." " Mr. Smith?" " Dinner's ready." " Charlie Smith?" "Aaah!" "Aaah!" "Come here!" "What is it?" "Wait a minute." "What is it?" "Somebody blew out the candle." "No!" "That's just the wind!" "Since when does the wind eat garlic?" "Calm down." "Take this." "Okay." "What are you shaking about?" "Don't none of us get nervous." "Everything's all right." "Don't get nervous." "I'm calm!" "I can see that." "Take it easy." "Not over there." "Someplace else." "Maybe he went upstairs." "Do you think so?" "Let's look." "All right." "What is it?" "This place is kinda spooky, ain't it?" "Don't be silly." "Come on." "What's the matter?" "Feels like the scene I played in The Case of the Haunted House." "I had a great part." "Five screams!" "Oh, come on!" "Say... about that scream of yours." "How is it you didn't peep when you saw the flower on the floor?" "I don't know." "I guess I got really scared." "And when I get really scared, I..." "That's funny." "You can't even..." "Aaah!" "Miss Lind, what happened?" "What did you see?" "We saw someone looking at us." "It's a fiend with fangs." "Oh, oh!" "All right, come here!" "Chuck, don't hold me!" "Did you see the puss she made?" "All right, all right, c'mon!" "C'mon, fellas." "C'mon!" "Who's up there?" "You, you!" "You coward!" "Come on down." "It was only an owl." "But with fangs!" "There she starts again." "What were you girls doing upstairs?" "Went to look for Mr. Smith and a place to sleep." "That's what I could use." "A nice warm bed... to hide under." "Smith is not in the cellar." "It's best we look upstairs." "Let's do that." "After you, girls." "Wait for me." "C'mon, Ferdie." "Ferdie, c'mon!" "I can't go another step." "You're going upstairs." "I don't wanna go a step further." "Listen, I don't wanna have trouble with you." "I don't wanna go upstairs." "You're going." "Please, Chuck, don't take me upstairs." "I'll be a lookout." "A lookout for what?" "For myself!" "Give me the candles." "I'll go upstairs." "As long as you leave me something." "Just a fraidy cat, that's all you are." "I'm not scared." "How do you do?" "Are you the hatcheck girl?" "Chuck, downstairs." "My hat!" "My hat!" "All right." "Keep quiet." "Be careful, Doc." "Say, not bad!" "All the comforts of home." "There's no bed coverings." "Here are blankets." "If you wanna be a "handyboy," come and help me." "Yes, help us make up this bed." "I feel like a bride on the maid's day off." "What small sheets!" "No, that goes at the head." "Oh, a nightcap." "That's cute." "No, not there!" "Give her a hand." "Grab the other end, Ferdie." "Now slip it under the mattress." "Okay." "What are you doing?" "What's the matter with you?" "Leave it there..." "and slip it under the mattress!" "Oh, dear." "What are you doing?" "Up here!" "Why don't you make up your mind?" "Where do you want it?" "On top or under the mattress?" "One or the other.!" "I'm getting tired." "Oh, ooo!" "Well... looks like we're gonna sleep together." "I'll find a room for Ferdie." "I'll try across the hall." "Ferdie, put that lamp on the highboy." "What did you say?" "Highboy!" "Hiya, Chuck." "No, put it up there." "Oh, that's a highboy?" "How do you know if that's a boy or girl?" "Oh, put it there!" "Good night, girls." "Oh, boy, ain't this something?" "You like it, huh?" "Mm-hmm!" "Oh!" "Will you stop following me!" "Hey, look." "Look." "Huh?" ""M.M." I'll bet this is the room that Moose Matson slept in." ""M.M."..." "That's..." "What's this thing?" "You pull that when you want breakfast." "If I want my breakfast, I pull this thing?" "That's all." "Okay, ham and eggs." " Uh-oh." " What did I do?" "Chuck?" "What?" "Is my feet nailed to the floor?" "No!" "Then I must be paralyzed." "Shall I look?" "Go ahead." "Uh-oh." "It's just a door." "Open it and see what's inside." "Who's gonna open what door to see if what's inside?" "What do you think I am?" "You're scared." "I think I am too." "What?" "Of a perfectly ordinary door?" "I know what happens in mystery pictures." "A guy walks to a perfectly ordinary door." "He opens it up and zowie!" "Out falls a body... right on its kisser." "You think there's a body?" "I ain't sayin' there is and I ain't sayin' there ain't." "I say..." "let's get outta here." "All right, wait a minute now." "I'll open the door." "You go ahead." "There you are..." "empty." "I should be ashamed of myself." "I'm gettin' to be a big sissy." "Oh, Charlie." "What happened?" "What happened?" "Charlie Smith!" "Come here, Ferdie." "Hey, Chuck." "Pull yourself together." "It's all right." "What happened?" "I was standing over there and a guy... see?" "All right, c'mon, Ferdie." "Oh, Doc?" "Help!" "Doc!" "Doc!" "What's happened?" "It's murder." "What?" "It's murder." "Murder?" "Ferdie?" "C'mon, c'mon." "Snap out of it." "What happened?" "A murder." "Camille?" "Oh!" "He's all right." "It's in there." "Smith?" "Yes." "Well?" "He's been strangled." "Is that serious?" "The man is dead." "That's serious." "Quiet!" "Who's there?" "Who is it?" "Who's there?" "Who is it?" "Open this door.!" "Who are you?" "The police.!" "We're very glad to see you, officers." "What's going on here?" "Trespassers, huh?" "We own the place." "We inherited this place from Moose Matson." "You relatives?" "We were very close to him at his surmise." "We can go into this social detail later." "There's the body of a murdered man in this house." "He's tied with string and had something across his mouth." "He had a gag in his mouth." "If he did, he never had a chance to tell it." "This way, officers." "I'll show you." "It's upstairs." "I saw it myself." "Ooo-ooo-ooo!" "It ain't me." "I'm innocent." "I didn't have nothin' to do with it." "Let's go!" "Oh, hello." "Say, could you tell me what happened to my hat?" "That's very strange." "He was here." "Don't ever leave me alone." "Shh!" "Chuck, downstairs, the hat." "Never mind that." "It's gone." "It's gone?" "Oh." "I got it." "Hey, watch." "What do you know?" "The body was right here." "He's disappeared." "He was in the cellar." "I'll show you." "We know our way around." "If you folks take our advice, you'll get out now." "Let's go." "We mustn't let this upset us." "The best thing to do is go back to bed." "Are you going back to bed?" "As soon as I have my glass of warm milk." "May I bring you some?" "No, thank you." "It's a fine sleep inducer." "Well, pleasant dreams." "Camille, the doctor's right." "We better get some sleep." "Good night, boys." "Chuck." "Chuck!" "Chuck!" "What's the matter?" "What did I tell you about going away and leaving me by myself?" "I was right here." "No, you wasn't." "You was over there." "Oh, behave." "Chuck, do we have to sleep in this room?" "You're not afraid, are you?" "No, no." "But if you see a pair of pants flying through the air, don't grab 'em." "Why?" "I'll be in 'em!" "Maybe we'll find another room." "Okay." "Oh, well!" "A private bath." "I'm not gonna take a bath in this spooky joint." "Nobody's gonna catch me with my coat off." "Say, this is fine." "We can have separate rooms." "I'm gonna sleep here all by myself?" "Certainly." "I'd be silly if I were scared... wouldn't I?" "Naturally." "Boy am I silly!" "Well, good night." "Sleep tight." "Chuck, if you hear me, come in." "Sleep all by myself." "Must be neat." "Chuck!" "Chuck!" "Am I dreaming or am I awake?" "You're awake." "Couldn't I be dreaming but you're saying I'm awake?" "What's the matter?" "What's wrong?" "Then I'm dreaming." "My room changed into a gambling joint." "That's ridiculous." "Chuck-a-luck." "Slot machines." "C'mon, c'mon!" "Let me see this." "Well?" "There was a roulette table there." "If I'm dreaming, then I dreamt it." "If I'm awake, I saw it." "You're letting your imagination run away." "I can't imagine things like this." "I'm not that clever." "All right, the room is full of roulette tables!" "I like roulette tables." "I like to sleep on 'em." "No, no." "That was a dice board." "I wanna get some sleep." "You go in my room and sleep." "I'll sleep in here." "Is that all right?" "Okay." "Now what's wrong?" "I forgot the rest of my clothes." "Sleep tight." "Go to sleep!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Aaah!" "Aaah!" "Chuck, Chuck, chuck!" "Chuck!" "It happened in your room now, the whole thing." "What?" "Dice." "Chuck-a-luck." "Roulette tables." "All right." "They got a slot machine." "Put in a quarter, pull and hit a jackpot." "Wait a minute!" "Stop working yourself up into one of your frenzies!" "What frenzies?" "I ain't making frienzies with nobody!" "C'mon on." "Chuck, let's get outta here." "No, don't take me back." "Chuck, don't." "Chuck, don't." "I'm telling you, the whole room..." "What?" "Now what's wrong?" "What's wrong in here?" "It did it again." "Nothing has happened!" "Yeah, yeah." "Do me a favor and stop this nonsense." "Get in bed and stay there." "Yip, yip, yip." "I know the room changed." "A lot of things around here." "Chuck!" "Chuck!" "See that?" "The whole..." "Did you ever see anything like that?" "All right." "I'll get you another room." "I'm gonna get my own room." "You seem very busy, Doctor." "Huh?" "Don't tell me you make your own milk." "What are you doing?" "Huh?" "I suppose if I was to tell you the house was on fire, you'd say, "huh?"" "Hand me that blue bottle, please." "What's on fire?" "Nothing." "Not a thing." "You're the "concentratingest" man I ever met." "I'm analyzing the water." "We're surrounded by murder and all you do is calmly analyze the water!" "Are you worried?" "Oh..." "I don't know." "You don't strike me as the nervous type." "Don't I?" "I'll bet you have perfect 20/20 vision." "Thanks." "Well, don't you?" "Is it important?" "Actually, would you prefer a girl with healthy eyes... to a girl with pretty eyes who's blind as a bat?" "Without those portholes, you probably can't see." "I noticed you had beautiful eyes the first time I saw you." "I didn't mention it then." "Mention it now." "Well, they're..." "soft and limpid... like two pools of water." "Water?" "Oh!" "My glasses, please." "I suppose your silly experiment couldn't wait... could it?" "Huh?" "Oh... "huh" yourself!" "In fact, you're the most beautiful girl I ever..." "Huh?" "C-C-Come in." "Come in!" "Who is it?" "Come in." "Who is it?" "Who is it?" "Yes?" "Locked." "Chuck!" "Hey, Chuck." "Oh, Chuck." "Chuck." "Chuck." "What are you doing here?" "What happened?" "Did you knock on my door?" "Did you lock it?" "No, certainly not." "Well, it's locked." "I'm scared to death." "It's locked?" "It's locked?" "C'mon!" "No, no, no.!" "C'mon.!" "The door is locked." "Is this another one of your brainstorms?" "You try to open it." "See?" "I know that door was locked." "Aw, nonsense!" "What is this all about?" "Get a load of this mess!" "What's come over you all of a sudden?" "Don't give me any arguments." "Look around here." "You don't..." "Never mind that." "A fine time to play." "What is this?" "You wouldn't do this at home." "And this place is just as much mine as it is yours." "You don't..." "Don't ever do this again." "You oughta be ashamed." "Now clean it up!" "Hey, Chuck?" "Don't ever pull a knife on me!" "Norma, are you asleep?" "No." "Didn't that warm milk make you sleepy?" "Didn't have any." "Then maybe we should?" "I don't want any." "You have some." "The doctor's still there, isn't he?" " His body is." " B-B-Body?" "Yeah." "His mind is miles away!" "Norma, don't do that." "Don't play games." "I don't feel so well." "Excuse me." "Aaah!" "Aaah.!" "What was that?" "What happened?" "What is it?" "What's wrong?" "What were you screaming about?" "A ghost." "A ghost?" "A ghost?" "With fangs." "Again?" "Hello, Chuck." "Did you come back to apologize?" "You don't have to." "I forgive you." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey-hey!" "He's in my room, in my bed." "Pulling covers over his head.!" "Hey!" "Wait!" "What's the matter?" "I'm afraid to have you go up there... without me." "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" "Hurry up." "There's your ghost." "Just as I thought!" "This couldn't be a joke, could it?" "Everything seems to happen to you!" "Except what happened to Smitty." "Camille, I was laying on the bed and..." "Oh, excuse me." "Whoever's doing this isn't fooling." "They're obviously trying to get us out of the house." "Where are those detectives?" "If that scream..." "Maybe they're..." "Let's find out." "You girls get ready to leave." "You and I will find the detectives." "Come on, Chuck." "Come on, Camille." "We better split up." "Too bad I can't finish this experiment." "I'm onto something." "Chuck, let's go back to the gas station." "The doctor and I are gonna search the cellar and the grounds." "You sit here and wait for the girls." "All alone?" "Yes." "Here's a road map." "Find the easiest way out." "That's a good idea." "Chuck, suppose the ghost comes back?" "The ghost is a rumor." "I don't care if he's the landlord." "Sit down." "Don't get excited." "If you want me, holler "Oh, Chuck" and I'll come." "Oh, Chuck!" "What kept you?" "I came like that!" "If you can get in here in between that, you get here." "Take it easy." "Read that map." "When I call, "Oh, Chuck," get in here." "All right." "Now I'm... all alone." "Oh, Chuck." "Oh, Chuck?" "Oh, Chuck?" "Oh, Chuck!" "Oh, Chuck!" "Get in here!" "Oh, Chuck!" "Oh, Chuck!" "I'm here." "Hey, come off it." "I called 42 "Oh, chucks" and you didn't come in." "I came in as soon as you hollered "Oh, Chuck. "" "Don't wait for me to say "Oh, Chuck. " Get in here on the "oh. "" "You're excited." "Are you ready to leave?" "I was ready when he put the key in the front door." "Camille, sit down and keep Ferdie company." "Help him read this map." "Thanks, Camille..." "for keeping me company." "I do so want not to be alone." "Take this map and see if you can find a road out." "If we take Route 72... we could cut through the forest." "Then we could take a back road and as soon as we..." "Oh, oh, oh, Ch..." "Ch..." "Oh, Ch..." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Oh..." "Ch-Ch-Chuck?" "Oh, Chuck!" "Yes, yes, yes." "Oh, Chuck!" "Just a minute." "Don't get excited." "Wait a minute." "That candle moved?" "Camille, did you see that candle move?" "No!" "Where were you looking?" "At the map." "Never mind the map." "Keep your eye on that candle." "That's ridiculous." "That candle can't move." "No?" "You want me to find the detectives, don't you?" "Now find a road outta here." "I'll find a road." "Now, don't call me." "I'll find a road if I have to make one." "Are you sure you didn't see that candle move?" "Uh-uh." "I know that went..." "zzip... zzip... in front of me." "No, huh?" "Uh-uh." "Now I know I am alone." "Keep your eye on that candle." "Now, if we take Route 16 right out the front door... that's the route that's out there... we could get in somebody's car and sort of zzip." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Ch..." "Chuck!" "Chuck!" "Yes?" "Wait!" "Wait a minute." "What's going on here?" "Calm down for a minute." "All right." "Wait a minute." "I understand." "Hold still a minute." "Take it easy." "That candle moved?" "Camille, did you see that candle move?" "No!" "Where were you looking?" "There." "What are you lookin' there for?" "You told me to look at that." "Don't believe me." "I'm a liar." "Now, now." "What is this all about?" "This is nonsense." "It's very peculiar nonsense." "There's nothing peculiar about it." "Sit down." "I left the doctor alone." "Take it easy." "Don't get excited." "You have company." "You're not alone." "No, not much." "Just calm down." "Look... keep one eye on that candle... another eye on that one... and with the other eye, watch me." "What was that?" "Those candles went out." "Do you feel a draft?" "No." "If these candles move, you will." "I'll get out of here so fast... the suction will carry you along with me." "I can't even read the map any... anymore." "This is no laughing matter." "I'm scared." "Keep your hands to yourself." "Don't slap me." "I didn't slap you." "If we can..." "You didn't slap me?" "No." "Now, if we can..." "Ferdie." "Don't do that, Ferdie." "You're a nice boy." "I don't like to see you do those things so cut it out." "What did I do?" "You know what you did." "You slapped me." "Now..." "And you're supposed to be a boy scout." "I didn't slap you, Camille." "Yes you did, Ferdie!" "Did you slap me?" "Uh-uh." "Did you slap me?" "Uh-uh." "Uh-oh!" "Oh, Chuck." "Oh, Chuck!" "Aaah!" " Aaah.!" " Oh, Chuck." "I've got you, you old ghost!" "I'm gonna lift up your sheet and see who you really are." "What happened?" "What's wrong?" "What's going on here?" "What's going on?" "And that's what I want to know!" "I almost had a ghost and Camille got in the way." "I better see if Norma's all right." "I wish I knew why someone's anxious to keep people away from this tavern." "Must be Moose's bankroll." "Moose is supposed to have buried his bankroll." "Around this tavern?" "The only thing they heard Moose say was that he kept his money in his head." "Hey, Chuck, you mean in that thing?" "What thing?" "That horse with a hat rack." "When I said, "Moose kept the money in his head," that's just a figure of speech." "Oh, a figure of speech!" "You know what a figure of speech is?" "Everybody knows that." "What is it?" "It's like if I said "Water went under the bridge. "" " Under what bridge?" " How do I know what bridge." "Then how do you know there's any water under it?" "There's gotta be water so the boats can go up and down." "Suppose they want to go across?" " I'm a sucker for arguing." " Why do you start?" "You asked me if I knew what a figure of speech was." "I said, "Just like if I said, water went under the bridge. "" "I shoulda said like "Gone with the wind. "" "What wind?" "Am I gonna have trouble with you now?" "What do I know "what wind"?" "Any wind!" "I didn't find the detectives but we better get out." "Are you ready?" "In a moment." "I'm sorry if I kept you waiting." "That's all right." "You're angry at me." "No." "That's ridiculous." "You're angry at me because you like me." "But you do like me a bit." "Don't you feel a little safer when I'm around?" "Doctor, whenever I have to turn to you for protection..." "Aaah!" "Darling, are you hurt?" "No, dear." "Dear, you called me darling." "Darling, you called me dear." "We shouldn't be standing here." "We should be out trying to find the detectives." "I've been talking to you all this time and still... you haven't explained why you should even say "Gone with the wind. "" "It was a figure of speech... just like..." ""Never the twain shall meet. "" "What twain?" "The twain on "twack twee. "" "What's the use?" "I'd like to know what started this whole argument!" "You said there was money in the moose's head." "Would it make you happier if I proved... that there's no money up there?" "Go ahead." "Give me a chair." "I'll prove it to you." "Ooo.!" "You got a big head." "I'm gonna put my hand in your mouth." "Don't bite it!" "This one's going in, the one I eat with." "I got a way with animals." "Take it easy." "Hope you ain't ticklish." "Hey, Chuck, the moose's tongue is peeling." "Sure, peeling." "It's..." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute.!" "What is this?" "I don't know." "Wait a minute." "It's real.!" "Keep peeling." "Let go of my pants." "Atta boy, Ferdie!" "Stop pulling my pants." "C'mon, c'mon." "Hey, Chuck, let go of my pants." "This guy's got some tongue." "Get the tongue out." "Camille?" "Huh?" "Does "mooses" have tonsils?" "I hope that one's got a big one, a green one." "Look at that tonsil!" "What a tonsil!" " C'mon, keep it peeling." " Get my hand out!" "Never mind your hand." "Somebody, help!" "I'll never join your lodge!" "Never mind your arm." "We'll buy you a new one." "I'm gonna faint." "Let go!" "Ooo, you!" "I hope you two are satisfied that there's no money... in the moose's head." "Argue with me." "No more arguments." "Ferdie, I love you!" "He loves me!" "Thousands, millions, trillions!" "Millions?" "Trillions?" "I'd love to run through that with my bare feet." "Say, Ferdie, look." "Look." "What's that?" "That's what you got out of the moose's head." "I told you there was no money..." "Don't get excited." "I know how you feel." "We've got to find those detectives." "What have you got?" "$10 bills." "Thousands of'em." "Where on earth?" "In the moose's head." "You have no idea what we're gonna do with this money." "But I have." "No, you haven't." "You're gonna hand it over." "All right, stick 'em up!" "I've been hunting that dough for weeks." "Finders is keepers." "And I'm the keeper!" "I didn't work for Moose Matson for 15 years to let someone else get the gravy." "We don't want the gravy." "You can have it." "Put that down!" "Look out!" "I've got him!" "You've got me." "Get him." "Drag him out." "I'm always left with these kinds of things." "Look what you did to the guy." "Throw him out." "That was a close one." "Did you let him have it!" "We are "Sitting on top of the world. "" " That's a figure of speech." " Like "Reach for the ceiling. "" "We oughta thank you for finding this sugar for us." "All right, hand it over." "C'mon, fatty!" "He means you." "Ooo!" "Fatty!" "I lost 43 pounds... since I've been in the place." "Run, Ferdie!" "Run, Ferdie!" "Go, Ferdie.!" "Come out of there or I'll let you have it." "Charlie Smith." "He come back again." "Look out for that body." "Now which way did he go?" "He's takin' off down there." " He's not down here." " Check upstairs again." "C'mon!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Catch it." "Get him.!" "Excuse me." "Throw me the bag." "You want it?" "Yes, throw it over." "Aaah!" "Beat it!" "The cops!" "Ferdie!" "Did I scare 'em?" "My hero!" "You scared those gangsters." "And he did it single-handed." "Oh boy." "C'mon, put it down." "Money!" "Put it back in the bag." "This is ours." "I'm gonna divide it." "Divide it up." "1 for you; 1 for me." "2 for you; 1, 2 for me." "3 for you;" "1, 2, 3 for me." "4 for you;" "1, 2, 3, 4 for me." "How are you counting?" "1 for me, 4 for you." "That's legitimate." "We don't count that way." "We'll count later." "With all this money, we could open a chain of gas stations!" "You could make more money right here." "How?" "The spring waters in this place have therapeutic value." "Uh-oh." "Did you hear what the doc said?" "It's got th - th... the word he said." "It's good." "You could open a health resort." "With music?" "The water here will make sick people feel like dancing." "Do you get it?" "The water will make the people dance." "Remember?" "If we ever had a place like this, we'll hire Ted Lewis." "Ted Lewis." "And the Andrews Sisters." "Yes!" "How do you like that?" "Is everybody happy?" "Ferdie, look around." "Opening night and the place is jammed." "We're doing an all-right business." "Marvelous, swell." "See that every dollar goes in that cash register." "I don't want to find you short." "What's my size got to do... with putting money in the register?" "Do as you're told." "Hello, boys." "Congratulations." "Chuck and I told you to take a week off for a honeymoon." "We couldn't miss opening night." "What happened to Camille?" "We had a runaway marriage." "A runaway marriage?" "Yeah!" "She bought the license and I run away." "Come on, dear." "Take care of things." "I'll be back." "What was that?" "I didn't know they had a bell on it." "Put it away." "I'm putting it away." "Oh, good." "Check, huh?" "Yes, sir." "We're having quite a run on that "peu-da-tonic" water?" "Yes, sir." "I think so too." "And you?" "Oh." "Same employment agency send you that sent me?" "Fix your tie." "Fix your coat." "Pull down your vest." "You gotta be neat or I'll have to throw you out!" "Throw who out?" "I'll throw you out." "Think I can do it?" "No!" "I don't think I can either." "Excuse me." "Ohh!" "$23 check." "Good waiter." "Very good, very good." "$23." "Listen to that beautiful melody." "That's it." "It's got that real Brazilian beat." "It's that sweetheart tune we brought from way down in South America." "Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, "Aurora. "" "Aurora comes from Rio deJaneiro" "She dances in a little street cafe" "And when you're down in Rio deJaneiro" "Here's what you'll hear each Latin lover say" "You're a sweetheart in a million" "Oh oh oh oh Aurora" "With your manners so Brazilian" "Oh oh oh oh Aurora" "When you smile and call me honey" "Oh oh oh oh Aurora" "Is it me or just my money" "Oh oh oh oh Aurora" "I'll buy you this and buy you that" "If you'll be true to me" "I'll even rent a cottage and present you with a key" "So if you'll marry me and be my sweet senora" "Oh oh oh oh Aurora" "Aurora, be mine" "Be mine, be mine" "You're a sweetheart in a million" "Ah ah ah ah Aurora" "With your manners so Brazilian" "Ah ah ah ah Aurora" "When you smile and call me honey" "Ah ah ah ah Aurora" "Is it me or just my money" "Ah ah ah ah Aurora" "I'll buy you this and buy you that" "If you'll be true to me" "I'll even rent a cottage and present you with the key" "So if you'll marry me and be my sweet senora" "Oh oh oh oh Aurora" "You're a sweetheart in a million" "Oh oh oh oh be my Aurora" "With your manners so Brazilian" "Oh oh oh oh be my Aurora, be mine" "When you smile and call me honey" "Oh oh oh oh be my Aurora" "Is it me or just my money" "Oh oh oh oh Aurora" "Aurora, be mine" "Great business, eh?" "What a night!" "Open the register." "I want to see how much we took in." "What's the matter?" "What a business we're doing tonight." "That's why I wanna see how much money we've made." "A lot of nice girls." "You oughta look around." "I wanna count the money." "Maybe we better wait 'til everybody goes home." "Everybody here is honest." "Then, maybe I better go home." "Count it by yourself." "No, you don't!" "You stand there until I count the money." "Okay." "Now who put that there?"