"Baby needs you to be happy and well, Jane." "OK." "Keep taking your antidepressants." "Are you all right?" "I saw him." "Saw him?" "Saw who?" "The man who killed my mum." "We never had a credible suspect." "Not one." "His name's Andrew Rawlins." "He's a consultant oncologist." "Something very upsetting happened at work." "Mr Rawlins." "Do I even need to say it wasn't me?" "I'm beginning to wonder." "Maybe part of you thinks it could've been me." "That's completely not true!" "All you have to do, to quickly eliminate yourself from our inquiries, is to give us a blood sample." "It wasn't him." "I want a retest!" "He must have tricked you." "Jane, stop this!" "You need to let it go." "It was him." "Mummy?" "Jane?" "Jane?" "Hey." "Hey." "Have you been out already?" "Er.." "No, sorry, I put the cat out." "The wind must've caught it." "No worries." "You're up early." "Am I?" "Oh..." "Felt a bit sick." "Right, of course, the...erm..." "Sorry." "I could drop in at the chemist - It's not that bad." "It'll pass." "Thanks, though." "All right." "Mummy?" "I'll go." "All right." "Can you stick some bread in for me?" "Yeah." "And...er..." "Last night." "How are you feeling about that?" "Like you said, it's time to move on." "So..." "I had the lawyer daughter on the phone to me first thing this morning." "Apparently, we're going to be sued for harassment." "So..." "Obviously, there was some personal connection, some history." "I get that." "But you let it cloud your professional judgment." "This was a mental-health issue, not a police matter." "So let that be the end of it." "Are we clear on that?" "Yes, sir." "Good." "How many more days have you got?" "Four." "So...take it easy, put your feet up." "I'll clear things with upstairs." "What are we doing, Mummy?" "Nothing, sweetheart." "No." "I just want you to let it go." "Dad, they put through you hell, on the word of one mentally unstable woman!" "They did their job." "Hang on, last night you said - That was last night." "This is now." "And about whether I want to get involved in some long legal row with the police, which, actually, having slept on it, I don't." "I just want to get back to my job and live my quiet, boring life." "Right, well, it's your call." "Yeah, it is." "Right, well, thanks a lot for your support" "What?" "Nothing." "What?" "You did what you had to do." "You did what any lawyer would have done." "But we both know what you thought." "Do we?" "I think so." "You thought I could've done it." "No." "I think so." "I asked the question." "That's all." "Everybody would've asked the question." "I wouldn't have." "If someone had accused you of something so appalling," "I would have just known." "Really?" "I would've known, 100 per cent, that you were not capable of doing anything like that." "I think you're being very unfair, but I'm sorry if I hurt you." "I never meant to do that." "Yeah." "Well, I'm sorry, too." "Hiya." "Hello, Emma." "Right, well, I'd better head back." "I've got a crazy day at work." "Bye, then, Dad." "Bye, love." "Bye, all." "Bye." "Ali Hall." "Oh, hi." "Is that DI Hall?" "Yeah." "My name's Jo Haywood." "I'm a charge nurse at St Winifred's, Birmingham." "You left a message." "Oh, yes..." "Yes, right." "You wanted to talk to people who'd worked with Andy Rawlins." "Yes, indeed." "Thank you for calling back, but that investigation's closed now, so...erm..." "Oh." "Right." "Yeah, so apologies for having wasted your time, but..." "OK." "So was he a suspect in a case, or " "Well, I wouldn't be able to tell you that, I'm afraid." "Did he hurt someone?" "I'm sorry?" "The crime you were investigating, was it a violent one?" "Was a woman involved?" "Er..." "Well, again, I couldn't tell you that, but why do you ask?" "No, no, nothing." "If the case is closed, then " "Mum!" "Ms Heywood - Sorry, I've got to go." "Bye." "Good morning." "Morning." "He tricked us, Alison." "I don't know how he did it, just that he did, because it WAS him." "I saw the blood come out of his arm, Jane." "It was the blood that was tested at the lab." "These things are checked, double-checked, triple-checked." "You can't trick a forensic lab." "I could have been the subject of a disciplinary action, less than a week before I retire." "It's time to move on now." "Mmm?" "Did you know he was married to someone else back then?" "Isobel Hendrie." "I found her online - births, deaths, marriages." "I think we should talk to her." "Annie!" "He's the one coming down from the mountain." "Now I can watch " "Hey." "Hi." "Hey, sweetheart!" "Oh, darling!" "Mummy said you'd been in the wars." "I banged my head." "Oh..." "Did it hurt?" "They glued it." "Wow!" "Hey, only the best people get the glue treatment." "The nurse said Mummy cried more than me." "I need a quick word with Mummy." "All right?" "Hey..." "She seems fine." "Yeah." "In the end, it does look worse than it was." "So..." "So what happened, then?" "She just..." "She fell." "You mean she tripped or...?" "No." "She was on the climbing frame." "Right." "Well, the little one, cos...that's tiny, so how did she " "No, she was on the..." "the one with the rope ladder." "What was she doing - Rob, I took my eyes off her for five seconds, OK?" "It happens, OK?" "Kids have accidents." "Oh, my God..." "Rob." "You were talking to Alison." "It had nothing" " Jane, what is this?" "What are you doing?" "Rob." "I don't know what to say to you any more." "Rob..." "Do you want me to read you a story?" "Can we have this one?" "Yeah." "Once upon a time..." "Watch your feet." "Rob, do you" " I've got it." "I can" " I know." "I've got it." "Where's Baa?" "What's that, sweetheart?" "Where's Baa?" "Did she have Baa with her?" "What?" "Her rabbit." "Was it with her?" "Er..." "I must have left it inside." "Sorry." "I'll go and grab it." "Sorry." "I'll see you at the car." "You killed her." "I know you did." "You killed my mum!" "Bastard!" "Rot in hell, you fucking sadist!" "Get off me!" "Get off me!" "Fuck you!" "Get off me!" "Get off... 324." "We've got an assault in our entrance wing next to..." "I'm sorry." "Yeah, me too." "Did she hurt you?" "It's just scratches." "Dad, we have to press charges." "The woman's ill." "She belongs in a hospital, not a police cell." "It's not our problem." "We just need to make sure you're safe." "So I'm applying for a restraining order." "I want her arrested if she comes within 500 yards of you, here or at your home." "Moronic little shits!" "Well, ignore them." "They're idiots." "Yeah." "Sorry." "Come on, let's get you home." "Yeah." "Thanks, love." "Hey..." "You wanna be in bed." "Come on." "Hop in." "Is Mummy going to be in prison?" "So, if you're happy to accept a caution," "Mr Rawlins is happy to leave it at that." "She's happy to accept a caution." "I'll need to hear it from her, sir." "I'm happy to accept a caution." "OK." "So the offence will still lay in our files for three months, and if there are any further problems..." "This was a serious offence, Mr Phillips." "She understands." "Has she got a doctor she can see?" "Yes." "We'll ring him first thing." "We'll leave it at that, then." "Thank you so much." "I'll show you out." "Good night." "Listen, why don't you come back with me, have a night off?" "I'm fine." "Rob can look after Annie." "I could look after you." "Annie needs me." "And they've got enough ammunition." "Sorry?" "You think I don't know what your family think of me?" "The mad half-sister." "They love you, Janey." "Pam can hardly bear to be in the same room as me." "That's not true." "Constant reminder you loved someone else." "All any of us wants is for you to be happy and well." "Oh, is that all?" "Well, you can be." "There's so much good stuff in your life." "My God, Dad, why don't you get it?" "Why have you never got it?" "Got what?" "You got to repair your damage!" "You got to replace your wife..." "Ah..." "You may not believe me, Janey, but... ..I feel your mother's loss every single day of my life." "I still miss her, and I will till the day I die." "She was just my wife... ..so I can't imagine how hard it has been for you." "How hard it still is." "But let me tell you something." "The months after the attack, the years after, as you were fighting your way back to some kind of normal life, it was you who taught me..." "..that life goes on." "Life goes on." "No matter what terrible things happen to us, we still have a choice of how we live it." "Looking back, looking forward..." "to hope, possibility." "The first thing, we're going to talk to your GP." "We're going to get you back on the right antidepressants and see if we can sort out some counselling." "Whatever it takes." "Hmm?" "And Rob and I, we're going to be with you all the way." "Every step, sweetpea." "Won't we, Rob?" "Mmm." "Every step." "Oh, hello." "My name's DI Alison Hall." "I'm trying to get hold of a charge nurse called Jo Haywood." "Yes, I'll hold." "I'm sorry, Mum." "Sorry?" "Sorry for what, sweetheart?" "For losing Baa and getting you in trouble." "Oh, darling..." "It will never be your fault." "Whatever happens to Mummy, it will never, ever, ever be your fault." "OK?" "Night-night." "I love you so much." "I love you too." "Not to contact, harass, alarm or distress my client and others as appropriate, not to knowingly approach him and others as appropriate within the boundary of St Hugh's General Hospital or within 500 yards of 35 Belmont Road, Kingswood, Derbyshire." "Jane Phillips?" "Not to telephone, fax, communicate by letter, text, electronic mail or Internet, nor to send or solicit any correspondence whatsoever relating to my client and others as appropriate, nor to display material relating to my client and others as appropriate" "on any social-networking sites, and not to retain, record or research by any means - private, confidential or personal - facts or information relating to my client and others as appropriate." "It was 1988." "I was a year into my training." "I'd...er... gone down the union club with a bunch of my mates." "Starting chatting to this bloke." "His name was Andy." "He was a doctor." "I'd not long split up with my bloke of two years, so it was nice to have someone pay me attention, asking me stuff." "We had a couple of drinks, chatted for about an hour." "And then I think I was just knackered after a long shift, so... ..I said goodbye and headed off home." "Two months later..." "I'm alone in my flat and the doorbell went." "It's Friday night, late, so I just assumed one of my flatmates had forgotten their key." "So I went down, opened the door." "There's this...bloke stood outside." "I didn't recognise him at first." "Which was weird, because he was talking to me like we knew each other well." "It suddenly clicked." "It was him." "Rawlins?" "So, obviously, I was unnerved." "I mean, how did I know where I lived?" "And what did he say?" "That's when it got properly weird." "He seemed to think I'd asked him to come over." "Asked him when?" "According to him, that night at the bar." "So what happened?" "Well, I said, as nicely as I possibly could, that I think he'd misunderstood me and...that I was tired and wanted to go to bed." "So I went to close the door." "And... ..he very calmly..." "..put his foot in the way... ..pushed the door open, shoved me in the hall, up against the wall." "And then he started touching me, telling me he knew how much I wanted him to fuck me." "And then... there were voices on the front steps." "And then my two flatmates walked in." "He just kissed me on the cheek... ..as if it was fun, winked at my flatmates and then left." "Did you tell them what had just happened?" "No, I didn't." "He was a respected doctor by then and I was a student nurse." "I should have but I didn't." "And did you ever have any problems with him again?" "No." "I kept out of his way." "I mean, a year or so later I heard that a patient had made a complaint against him, but I don't think anything ever happened." "And there were a few rumours." "But nothing ever happened to him." "That's what it was like in those days." "We let men get away with shit like that." "We let them get away with it every day of the week." "Come on, darling." "Bye, honey." "Have a good day." "Are you feeling better now, Mummy?" "Can you keep a secret, sweetie?" "I was never ill, Annie." "I was never ill." "In you go." "Bye, Mummy." "Hello!" "Good morning." "Good morning." "Hello." "First name Isobel, surname either Rawlins or Hendrie." "Try the Worcester area first, please." "Excuse me." "I wonder if you could help me." "I'm looking for Isobel Hendrie." "I'm afraid she's not in." "Right." "Erm..." "Will she be in later?" "Sorry, what's it about?" "I was...wanting to get some information about her husband." "I'm her husband." "I meant her first husband." "Andrew Rawlins." "Who are you?" "Er..." "My name's Jane." "I'm... ..trying to get information about what he was like when she knew him, if she...thinks he's the sort of person that could... could ever have hurt someone." "Their marriage ended a long time ago." "I know." "Did he hurt you?" "My mother, I believe." "He hurt Isobel pretty much every day for five-and-a-half years." "Punched her in the stomach once." "Four months pregnant." "It would've been a boy." "He hurt her every way you can hurt someone." "But...she won't talk about it to anyone, never has." "I'm sorry." "Mr Hendrie..." "Hello, sweetheart." "Are you all right?" "Mmm." "Yeah?" "OK." "Let's get you in here." "All right?" "Put your bag in." "There you go." "Get yourself in." "Are you all right?" "Yes." "Rob!" "Put your seat belt on." "I'm so sorry." "My phone was out of juice." "I got stuck in the most horrendous traffic." "I'm sorry!" "You go within 500 yards of him, you get arrested." "What?" "You will go to jail." "What is this?" "It's a restraining order." "You don't need to do this." "It's over." "Good." "This will remind her." "You look at him in the wrong way - Not in front of our daughter!" "..you're in serious trouble, OK?" "Come on, Jane." "Let's go." "Jane!" "Jane!" "Did you know your mum fell pregnant again after you?" "What did you say?" "I spoke to your stepfather this morning." "Jane!" "You did what?" "She miscarried, after your father hit her in the stomach." "He hit her most days, apparently." "You've obviously been very busy." "I presume you discovered my mother's husband is an alcoholic." "In fact, they both are." "Seemed sober when I saw him." "I'm sure he put on a good show." "They often did." "Not quite good enough to fool social services." "Did he mention she lost custody of me when I was seven?" "You read those carefully." "If you do, you'll see it applies to my father and others as appropriate." "my mother, my stepfather, me, all of our friends and family, they comprise others as fucking appropriate!" "You should have had a little brother." "You know, a part of me hopes you keep up your little crusade." "It will give me great pleasure to see you put inside for what you have done to my dad and our family!" "Rob?" "Rob?" "Hey, Annie." "Are you OK?" "Mmm." "We'll have some hot chocolate on the sofa, yeah?" "Rob?" "I'm sorry." "Just for a few days." "It'll give us both time to think." "We're going to my mum's." "I can't look after her." "Please, Rob." "I need to work." "We've bills to pay." "I can't trust her with you any more." "Of course you can!" "Please, don't " "Then give it up, accept you were wrong, move on, put your energy into our family." "This IS for our family." "I need to do this, to be a good mum." "Please don't leave me." "Oh, Jane, no-one's leaving you." "It's you that left us." "I love you so much." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Don't do this, Rob, please!" "Annie..." "Rob!" "Open the door!" "Annie!" "Annie...!" "I love you." "Please don't close the door on me." "Come in." "Look, I've no doubt he's a very nasty piece of work - He's so much more than that." "Whatever you've discovered, it makes no difference." "It wasn't his blood." "What if it was never the murderer's, was already on her clothes?" "Oh, Jane!" "What he did to your nurse!" "An unpleasant sexual assault." "It doesn't make him a murderer." "What if it started a pattern?" "Stop." "If your boss let us re-open it" " Us?" "!" "..we could find the patient she told you about, other colleagues he developed obsessions with." "We could even go public, flush out other possible victims." "I know you know something's wrong!" "No, I don't, Jane." "Then...why the hell did you even meet with Haywood?" "Just ask him, please." "Just try one more time." "For my lovely mum." "Please." "Do you have any actual evidence linking him to the murder?" "Or is it just this collection of unsubstantiated allegations and rather depressing character flaws?" "Look, guv " "Did you really think I'd re-open the case, based on this?" "Sir, the tangible evidence might not be that strong, but..." "I think she could be right." "I think he could somehow have tricked us." "You base that on what?" "And for the love of God, do not say a hunch." "OK." "I'd like you to clear your desk." "Sir, I've only got - You messed up, Ali!" "And for what?" "To prove you shouldn't have been made redundant?" "To show your old man he shouldn't have run off with a younger model?" "You might want to call your rep on the way out." "Why did he even talk to her?" "!" "Hello, Em." "She's dangerous." "She's got an obsession with Dad." "We've got an injunction against her." "I wish he hadn't." "I'm sorry." "What was all that shit he said about you and Dad?" "I know." "He'd been drinking." "I'm sorry." "Well, if she comes back again, call me." "I'll have her arrested." "OK?" "I don't actually have your number." "You didn't give it to me, last time you moved." "I'll text it to you." "That'd be great." "You know, I know work's busy, but... ..it'd be really lovely to talk more." "I mean, it was all shit, wasn't it?" "I've already said." "You would've told me before, wouldn't you?" "Exactly." "Bo!" "Mum?" "Can you stop, please?" "I've got to catch the dog." "Mum!" "Please, Emma!" "It was all rubbish, wasn't it?" "Yes." "Did he hit you?" "No." "Did he?" "Look, he's my father and I need to know." "Jesus..." "And the miscarriage?" "And you never thought I should know?" "I thought you needed to believe in one of us." "What, you chose him?" "Look at me, Emma." "I went to university, got a degree." "I was going to be a doctor!" "You think I still had choices?" "The woman who came to see you, do you know who she is?" "I think so." "I think I..." "I think I've been expecting her for 23 years." "Bo!" "So that's it?" "He just...gets away with it?" "Jane, I've just been suspended, two days before I was to be made redundant." "I might be the subject of a disciplinary hearing." "I-I..." "I have no job, no husband, no pension" " I know how much you sacrificed, but we are this close " "No buts." "I'm sorry, this is it for me now." "Ali " "I'm sorry, it's finished!" "I'm..." "I'm done." "I hope you find what you need." "I..." "I really do." "Ali, come..." "About 18 months before we separated... ..I came home from work early one afternoon, Andrew was home, and...something was wrong." "He was...erm... unsettled, very agitated." "He looked like he was close to tears." "Looked like he needed some sort of comfort." "And he had a... a cut... ..and some grazes on his forehead...here." "He said he'd tripped while out running." "And then he slept all afternoon." "And the next day he was fine." "A little muted, but fine." "And then I...read the papers and... ..it was full of this awful story." "This young mother had been attacked and killed in a local beauty spot and...a little girl had witnessed it." "And it was in the paper for weeks and on the TV and..." "I just remember that your father, he was very interested in it." "And the little girl, she..." "she didn't talk for months but, when she did, she gave a description of her attacker." "He had a beard... ..and he had a cut...here." "And your father, he... shaved off his beard the day after the attack." "And I just prayed." "Each day I prayed so hard that they would find out who did it." "But they... they didn't." "I went to that police station so many times, Emma." "I was just so scared of him." "I still am." "It wasn't him, Mum." "Whatever you thought, you were wrong." "He did a DNA test against the clothes she was wearing." "There was no match." "It wasn't him." "What sort of DNA test was it?" "It was blood." "Why?" "What is it?" "What's the matter?" "Emma..." "What is it?" "Why aren't you coming in?" "How could you have done it, Dad?" "How could I have done what?" "Killed her." "Emma, I didn't kill her." "You did." "I took a DNA test to prove I didn't." "You were there, remember?" "Blood DNA." "Yes." "So do a saliva test." "A what?" "Take a cheek swab." "Emma, what is this?" "I know, Dad, about your blood." "I spoke to Mum." "I know." "Look, your mum... has every right to hate me." "I was very far from being a good husband to her." "I accept that." "I was controlling and domineering and a bully." "I admit that and..." "I'm deeply ashamed of that." "I'm deeply ashamed of who I was back then." "But that's what this is." "Whatever she's told you, it's stuff she makes up...to punish me." "So why won't you say yes, then, to a cheek swab?" "Look, this is absurd." "It's not." "You did it." "I know it." "Sweetheart..." "No." "No!" "I can't forgive you ever." "Em..." "I won't be able to see you again." "You understand that, don't you?" "Em..." "That I won't EVER be able to see you again." "Emma." "Emma!" "Come back here!" "Please pick up, Rob." "I need you." "Please." ""Hi." "This is Rob." "If you'd like to leave your name and number," "I'll get back to you as soon as I can."" "Five months after your mother was murdered, my dad contracted leukaemia." "He nearly died and, in the end, underwent a bone marrow transplant in the spring of '92." "My mother nursed him for 18 months." "She said the illness changed him profoundly, reduced him." "For good, she thought." "But what I never knew, I promise you, what my mum has just told me, is..." "..bone marrow transplants change your DNA." "Not in your organs or skin or saliva." "They remain the same." "But your blood, that changes." "You become what they call a chimera." "My father's blood DNA changed for ever." "I'm so sorry." "Miss Rawlins?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "Thank you."