"Since 1970,the federalwitness protection program has relocatedthousands of witnesses, some criminal,some not,to neighborhoodsall across the country." "Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute, distinguishing themfrom the rest of the general population." "And that is...somebody wants them dead. in plain sight Season 2 Episode 13" "have any tattoos?" "You'll have to look and see." "Oh,my." "Keep going.There's more." "we should be partners." "I have enough partners." "I don't think your partner would be happy with meraiding her hen house." "who are your partners?" "Why haven't I ever seen them?" "washington,dc." "Secret service." "**** hey,stan.It's marshall again." "Uh,okay.Well,call us." "We're getting a little bit - worried." "I won't be baitedinto this conversation." "Baiting?" "I'm amusing." "The verb.Not the adjective." "Thanks for clearing that up.Either way,I'm not giving you the name of the first girlI had sex with." "Why?" "Is itbecause you're a virgin?" "No,becauseyou'll track her down,call her up,and make hertell you all about it." "So?" "I told you mine." "Neil armstrongwas not your first." "Technically,no,but who can ever remember that other guy's name?" "Do you even care that stanis two hours late for work and unreachable?" "Of course I care.This is how I cope." "Come on.You know I won't stopuntil I get what I want." "Oh,god.Fine.Katinka magnusdottir." "Tenth grade foreign exchangestudent from iceland." "Katinka?" "Excellent." "Tell her I said hi." "How do you spell"magnusdottir"?" "The usual way." "Jesus,mary,and joseph.There's,like,a thousand K.Magnusdottirs." "I swear to god,if that's not her real name..." "We'll then brief youon all witsec policies,okay?" "This way here.Thanks,guys.I'll take it from here." "Morning,people." " Morning." " Morning." "I think I madea terrible mistake." "I shouldn't have calledthe secret service.I want to go back." "God.What have I done?" "I should have killed myself." "Try to relax." "Keep going." "Who is sheand where have you been?" "And since whendo you escort witnesses?" "If she even is a witness." "Is she a witness?" "I'm sorry.Who are we talking about?" "Fine.Don't tell us.We don't care.Do we,marshall?" "Actually,I care a little." "Okay,you brought it out of me." "So last nightI get a call from hq saying there's a private jet waiting at the airport." "Next thing I know I'm flyingto a secret location to pick up...  and why does she raidall the tinker tailor?" "She's a counterfeiterextraordinaire named helen trask,who's been printingtechnically perfect $100 bills." "That is right up until she walked inon her girlfriend in flagrante with one of her north koreanbusiness partners." "In response to it,she turns herselfand the north korean over to the secret service." "She was in businesswith north koreans?" "So saythe treasury department,who claimto have proof positive." "Yeah,where have we heardthat before?" "However the secondthe guy was in custody,he flasheddiplomatic credentials." "The state department swooped inand sent him packing to pyong yang,or so they say." "North korea claimsno such person exists,nor any involvementin counterfeiting." "Well,of coursethat's what they're gonna say." "Yes,excepta washington newspaper investigated the whole affair, and came to the conclusion the cia was more likelyproducing the fakes to subsidize covert ops under the radarof congressional oversight." "So the secret service broke up a ciacounterfeiting ring?" "Maybe." "Let me guess.The cia also claimsno knowledge of the matter?" "Naturally." "And to make thingseven more interesting,helen thought her partner, the guy she caught schtuppingher girlfriend was a chinese gangster." "So we're hiding our witnessfrom the cia?" "Or north korea,or the chinese mob,or who knows." "In any case,the fbi and interpol both reported internet chatteramong terrorist groups about an eight-figure bounty for the whereaboutsof little miss sunshine." "What about the girlfriend?" "It's a woman helen metin prison named anh li." "Secret service investigated and determined she had nothingto do with the counterfeiting." "She was released shortly after helenentered the program." "It's all yours.I got a meeting." "Good luck.Call me if you need anything." "I don't suppose you gota number to call about that bounty." "Oh,man." "Man." "Sorry.We're normally more up to speed on these things,but you sort ofdropped in unexpected." " Oh,my..." " holy..." "I know.I mean,look at her.I must be insane." "She is ridiculously hot." "Please,I--I want to deal with her." "I--so what if she wants to bewith a man every now and then." "I mean,who--who am ito judge her for that?" "I mean,surely--surely you understand." "What?" "No.I don'T." "Why would you say that?" "Can't you just bring her here?" "Please?" "I can't live without her." "And you can't live with her." "There is a $10 millionbounty out on you,and you can be certain thatany attempt to contact anh li or anyone else from your pastwill get you dead.Do you understand?" "I don't care." "Without her,I have nothing.I'm nothing." "Aye-yi-yi.Look,helen,no oneis gonna argue your point." "Your anh li is smoking hot,but the womanis a multiple felon." "Aggravated assault.Manslaughter.Armed robbery." "She's clinically diagnosed with an anti-socialpersonality disorder, and you caught her screwingyour business partner." "Technically,she wasn't screwing." "She is a cheating,lying,violent,anti-social sociopath." "Is that reallythe kind of person you want to hangyour future on?" "I could do worse." "Okay." "Jesus,raph." "What the hell are you doing?" "I'm sorry.Just looked so prettyon your hand." "Only thing that's prettyon these hands are oven mitts." "Why are you dressed already?" "It's moving day,remember?" "Oh,god.You sure thisis what you want to do?" "You me,brandi,and jinx?" "It'll be fun.You'll see." "So who are you hiding today?" "Some mafia hit man?" "Please.Don't do that." "What did I do?" "Ask questions about my job." " It was a joke." " You can't make jokes." "Please,raph,I told you what I doso you understand why I can't talk about it." "I'm surethat makes sense to you." "Is it okay if I takea drawer and the dresser?" "Yeah.Take it back to your place." "That would be funnyif I thought you were joking." "Sorry." "Just a lot of changeall at once." "Yeah." "I appreciate how hard you're tryingto deal with it." "I do." "Hi,is mary here?" "Mary,you got company." "Why are you dressedlike bob the builder?" "It's moving day.I'm helping chico." "Dershowitz,what are you doing here?" " Hello to you too." " Aw,jeez." "You must want something." "You are so mistrusting.I brought you coffee." "So I see you decidedto keep the fbi remodel." "Thanks for the coffee,but I got to get to work,so unlessthere's something else?" "Well,as a matter of fact,a set of prints that we liftedfrom a murder scene got kicked back from afis as an official no reply." "Thank god.I was afraid you came here just to bring me coffee." "So young,and yetso tragically cynical." "Yeah,yeah.So what do you want?" "Well,it occurred to me maybe you could run the prints,see if they belongto any of your people." "Maybe they belong to someonewho's not in the system." "In that case,afis would have said,"not in the system." "" An official no reply means info about this personhas been blocked from blue-collar law mensuch as myself." "Poor you." "So you'll check it out,get back to me?" "Yeah,fine.When I get to work." "Much appreciated." "Hey,how do you knowhow I like my coffee?" "I'm a detective.It's my job to know things." "Walking a fine line betweencute and creepy,detective." "Ciao,mamacita." "See you,dershowitz." "Can't even say good-byelike a normal person." "Yeah,what's up?" "You know your witnesshelen traylen,the counterfeiter?" "Let me guess." "Her prints showed upat a murder scene." " Yeah,how'd you know?" " I'm a witsec inspector." "It's my job to know things." "Accordingto the director's office,the threat to helenremains unabated, along withthe eight-figure bounty." "Of course,at this point,the threat and the bountyare a bit like cook's treasure, since no one can pin down exactly from whencethey originate." ""From whence"?" "This needs another coat." "Oh,okay." "I'll reconnoiterwhilst you interrogate." "Whence?" "Whilst?" "What the hellhave you been reading?" "How to speak like an elizabethan." "That's good." "Hey,stranger." "Mary,hi." "Wh--what brings you?" "You know,just--just in the neighborhood.How's it going?" "It's great.Everything's great." "Good." "Listen,sweetie,we're all done here." "I'm gonna go over thereif you need anything,okay?" "So you were just in theneighborhood and dropped by?" "Yeah,pretty much." "Yeah?" "Hadn't seen you in a while." " Yeah." "Just checking in." "How's the new job?" "The new life?" "Anything new to report?" "Like why your fingerprints showed upat the scene of a murder?" "What?" "Where?" "Who--who got killed?" "A womannamed carolyn straub." "Oh--oh,no." "No!" "No." "Take it you knew her." "Take a minuteto compose yourself,and then you need to explain why your printswere in her house." "I was--was therenight before last." "And we,uh,we ate something,watched tv and..." "I left about 9:30." "You can askher daughter maggie." "Oh,my god.Poor maggie." "How did you know her?" "She came in hereone day with maggie." "We just talked,and then--and--and we connected." "As in connected?" "Just connected like friends.Just good friends." "Carolyn was going througha really hard time in her life." "One of those late-life,can't-keep-it-bottled-up-anymore kind of things, and I understoodwhat she was going through." "When was this?" "Um...about four months ago." "Okay." " How did she - someone fractured her skull." "Which brings meto where were you last night between 11:00 and 1:00?" "Pagoda.It's a bar.Up..." "I know what it is." "Was carolyn there too?" "Yeah,for a while." "She left early." "All right.It's all right." "Listen to me.Can you think of anythingor anyone who might help us find who killed your friend?" "Well,carolyn's ex,alex." "She came out a few monthsearlier and left him, and he was really pissedabout it." "Imagine that." "Okay." "Okay,for the time being,just stickto your normal routine." "I'll do my best to keep you outof the police investigation." "I really appreciate it." "Okay." "Hey,special ed,let's go." ",S'il vous plait." "Very well,good fellow." "So?" "She was friends with the vic.Seemed pretty shaken upby the news." "Has an alibifor the time of death." "Can we check the alibi?" "It's a little earlyfor pagoda.Let's have breakfast first." " Pagoda?" " Yeah,it's a" "I know what it is." "I'll have the oatmealwith skim,sliced banana,and do you have craisins?" "No." "What's with the attitude?" "Is thathow you let people know you're way coolerthan serving breakfast in a crappy cafemakes you seem?" "I mean--pssh." "Regular raisins will be fine." "How's the hobo platter?" "Good?" "All right.Let's do the hobo." "Oh,and if it's nottoo much trouble,try keeping the spittingin my food down to a minimum." "Come on.You know they do." "What?" "God." "Why is there a tan lineon your finger?" "What?" "Where?" "I don't see anything." "Crazy." "Right there." "Fourth finger." "Left hand.Like from a ring." "But you don't wear a ring." "Let go." "Fine.It's from a ring." "An engagement ring.Raph and I are engaged." "There.I said it.You happy?" "Are you?" "Yeah,of course I'm happy.Why wouldn't I be?" "Becauseyou almost never are." "So how comeyou didn't tell me?" "Because I didn't want to havea moment like this?" "Makes sense." "Put it on.Let me see." "No way." "It's beautiful." "Yeah." "So aren't yougonna congratulate me?" "Congratulations." "Thanks." "Don't worry about it." "We'll get it offwhen we get to the office." " I'm ringo." " What?" "The beatles' movie help - ringo gets a ringstuck on his finger." "How did I become ringo?" "Son of a bitch." "Goodness gracious." "Has my mystery fingerprint summoned god's owncrime-fighting angels?" "How we haven't hooked up is one of the great mysteriesof our time." "Yeah,right?" "I assume by your presence,helen's one of yours." "Well,if she were,I wouldn't be overjoyedby the public announcement." " I know the printsdidn't bring you here." " No." " So how did you - dead lady's exsaid I should talk to her." "Said that she exertedan undo influence on his late wife." "You sure the husband isn't just an exwith an axe to grind?" "Oh,he's definitelygot an axe." "Eight years into the marriage wife decides she's gay,moves out,taking their daughter with her." "I could see where thatmight cause some friction." "He says traylen "instigated"- his word--her lesbian metamorphosis,driving a wedge between them, and short-circuiting any hopeof a amicable disillusion." "The old sapphic flying the connubial ointment." "That came out a lot dirtierthan I thought it would." "So can I seeif she answered all questions to your satisfaction?" "Can I assumethat she'll be available for further questioning?" "Just let us know." "Good." "Thanks for your help." "Will all these boxes,I was worried that magazinewouldn't get read today." "I helped you at your placeall morning." "I'm taking a break now." "You drank coffeeand read my magazines." "I was helping you decidewhat to keep and what to get rid of." "So I guesswe're roommates now." "No.We're about to be family." "Am I the little sisteryou never had?" "I have three sisters.All little." "So are youfreaking out a little about us livingunder the same roof?" "No,of course not.Why would I be freaking?" "Because we kind of had a past,and we almost had a thing, and now we're gonna beliving under the same roof, and I'll admitthat that's a little weird,but I'm with peterand you're with mary," "and it doesn'thave to be a big deal." "So let's just talk it out,get over it,and get on with our lives." "Okay.Let's talk." "We don't need to talk." "Nah." "So what's the storywith the witness?" "It's a tale as old as time." "Boy meets girl.Girl meets girl." "Girl leaves boy for girl." "Boy crushes girl's skullwith a $3 length of pipe." "That's a sad story." "Helen hada perfectly good explanation why her prints showed upat the murder scene." "She and the victimwere friends." "Still got himon a threat assessment." "Already on it." "Tell you what,I'll checkher local contacts.You runthe counterfeiter angle." "Done and done." "Hey,what--what is that?" "Um,it's--it's an engagement ring.It got stuck on my finger." "You two--oh,my god." "What?" "No." "What?" "Stop.No,not us." "No,raphael my boyfriendand I are engaged." "Not me and marshall,you nitwit." "You're engaged?" "Oh,my god." " That's--that's-- yes." "Finally happened for you." " What?" " Let me see." "It's beautiful." "Very classic.You must be so happy." "This is unbelievable.When?" "Yeah,how'd he ask?" "Baked it in a cupcakea few months ago.I threw it in his face." "How romantic." "I don't supposeyou have any lotion." "Oh,you poor thing.Look how swollenthat finger is." "Gangrenous." "No,not quite,but that little piggy's way past lotion." "Fire departmentcould cut it off." "I hope you're talkingabout his finger." "I got a meeting.Congratulations,kiddo.We'll celebrate later." "How about we don't?" "You know,I can get that off." "No thanks.I got it under control." "Okay." "Carolyn straub,professor of graphic arts." "Specialty inintaglio engraving and typographicprinting processes." "So your counterfeiterwitness' murdered friend turns out to bethe one lesbian in albuquerque with accessto everything necessary to literally print money." "What are the odds?" "So what's the move?" "I say we check her alibi first." "You know,see what elseshe might be lying about." "You want to goto the lesbian bar?" " Oh,pagoda?" " Yes,please." " You know there's nothingthere for you." " So?" "What's the deal with that?" "You were married." "I have no idea." "My john was always tryingto get me to go to a strip club,get a lap dance." "All right,pagoda it is,but I do all the talking." "Don't worry.They won't bite." "You,anyway." "Hi,folks." "What can I do you for?" " I need a ginger ale." " Sure.How about you?" "Can I get a club soda,lots of ice please?" "So we don't geta lot of cops in here." "Is this official business or are you taking himon a field trip?" "A little bit of both." "Did you make us that quick?" "Well,you not so much." "But you're nothingbut a law man from head to toe." "I take thatas a compliment." "I meant it as one." "Anyway,you know a girlnamed helen traylen?" "Sure.Everyone knows helen." "Meaning?" "She's popular.You can't get much closerthan a drink or a dance,but we all likewatching her dance." "Were you watching heron wednesday?" "Yeah.She was here." "Between 11:00 and 1:00?" "Yeah.Yeah,she was in here with that newbie,carol,I think?" "Did they leave together?" "I wasn't watching the door,but I doubt it." "They got in somekind of argument early in the night." "All right.Thanks." "Come back some time when you're not working." "Oh,I'm in a relationship." "So am I,sheriff." "Helen,it's mary.If you're there,open up!" "Security detaildidn't see her leave." "How do you want to do this?" "Neat or messy?" " Whatever's fastest." " You got it." "Clear." "Clear." "Clear." "No signs of struggleor forced entry.Except for us,that is." "Think she slipped outon her own?" "As opposed to spirited awayby fairies?" "Guess we can rule outa quick trip to the store." "****He's local." "He may be a friendwho lost his license here." "Anything's possible." "Let's see." "According to abq police,darryl preston reported he washit on by a woman in a bar, thought he was gonna get some,instead woke up foggy headedin a motel room on central." "His wallet and the restof his valuables were gone." "I told helen to usethose roofies responsibly." "They did get a hiton some prints." "Oh,boy.Anh li's fingerprintswere at the crime scene." "Which means anh liis or was at helen'S." "Consorting with known felons.That's not good." "I'm just gonna focuson the murder-counterfeiting aspect of the crimeat this point." "So if anh li was hereand she ripped this guy off, why leave his stolen licenseout in plain sight?" "Why even keep it?" "And since when do cops dust the scene of a wallettheft for prints?" "I don't know,but check this out." "The local cops aren't the onlyones looking for anh li." "A whole lot of N.C.I.C.Search inquiries on her from a police captainxaio xianmei in hong kong." "Three daysafter helen moved here.Does it say why he's lookingfor her?" "Let's see.No warrants issued." "Wait.Additional comments." ""Known associates:" "Helen trask." ""Convicted counterfeiter,highly skilled "in intaglioand typographic printing." "Please add info on whereaboutsto this file." "" The inquiries aren'tabout finding anh li." "Whoever this guy is,he's looking for helen." "And he's smart enough to knowhe can't track a protected witnessthrough N.C.I.C." "But he could tralia known associate." "He was hoping anh li would leadhim straight to helen." "And giventhat the albuquerque mugging was reported three weeks ago," "I'd say whoever this guy is,he's probably a lot closer to helen and anh lithan we are." "Darryl preston,please." "It's the vic's office.I'm on hold." "Save that number 'causeit seems to make you happy." "Hold music.From a play I didin high school." "I know,hard to believe.While most kids wereexperimenting with drugs,I experimentedwith musicals." "Just as harmful." "Quit staring.Do something useful." "Okay." "Hi,officer david palmer,please." "Sure,thanks." "Hey,darryl preston,david palmer.Same initials." "Hi,mr." "Preston." "This is mary shepard from the albuquerquepolice department." "I wanted to ask youa few questions about the incidentyou reported back on... sure,I can hold for a sec." "Hi,officer palmer.This is marshall mann from the marshals service." "Have you got a minuteto talk about an incident report you took on august 12th?" "Many cheerful facts aboutthe square of a hypotenuse sure,I'll hold." "All:" "I'm very good at integraland differential calculus" "I know the scientific namesof beings animalculous in short,in mattersvegetable,animal,and mineral" "I am the very model of a modern major general" "In short,in matters vegetable Animal,and mineral I am the very model... come on.Don't stop." "I answer hard acrostics I've a pretty tastefor paradox" "I quote in elegiacs all the crimesof heliogabalus in conics I can floorpeculiarities parabolous who the hellare we dealing with?" "what was that about?" "I have no idea." "Eleanor,I need you to runthorough background checks on this officer palmer, darryl preston,and that hong kongpolice captain." "All over it." "Oh,and anh li too." "Something is really wrong." "What's this feel like to you?" "Like the whole anh li rollingsomeone incident never happened." "Like someone's dumpingphony reports into the system." "Yeah,but who?" "And why?" "And if that's the case,it stands to reason that the stolen driver's licensewas left out at helen's intentionally." "I'm getting nothing beyondthe most superficial records on darryl preston." "I think he's made-up." "Like what we do.Only not as well." "Someone's droppingbread crumbs,leaving a trailto anh li's door." "Where's helen traylen?" "Wish we knew." "Please,please." "Okay,ithought we were beyond this." "You gave me your wordyou were gonna keep her availablefor this investigation." "She's gone.As in missing." "Is that supposedto make me feel better?" "Hey,does abqpd havean officer david palmer?" "How the hell should I know?" "Do you know how bigour department is?" "Could you check?" "Sure.Anything for you,pal." "Yeah,this is dershowitz.Do we have a david palmeranywhere in the roster?" "All right." "Your missing witness hada very public fight with my vic two daysbefore the homicide." " Really?" " We know." "Yeah,I'm here." "All right.Thanks." "There's no david palmer listedanywhere in our department." "It's looking like this hongkong captain is a ghost too." "Marshall." "How much?" "All right.We're on our way." "Isleta casino just reported,in the last four hours,their fast-cash readershave I.D.'D almost $30,000 in bogus hundreds." "So she's a murdererand a counterfeiter?" "I can only attestto one of those things." "I appreciate you coming down,detective." "The secret service is alreadyon their way." "They have jurisdictionon counterfeiting." " We're here about a homicide." " No one's been killed here." "But the suspect may bespreading around phony bills." "Any leads on who it might be?" "I got a couple blackjackdealers who remember a hot asian woman playinghundred-dollar hands a few hours ago." "Can I see one of those bills?" "Knock yourself out." "Princess." "It's a so-so fake." "Definitely notto helen's standards." "So if you're living with the best counterfeiterin the world,why pass around mediocre bills?" "Anh li's the one that's been droppingbread crumbs." "So she and helenare somewhere in this hotel." "I'll have securityshut down the exits and send around descriptions." "They're not going anywhere." "Where'syour most expensive suite?" "The governor's penthouse.Unfortunately,it's already booked." "Who booked it?" "I'm sorry,but we don't share that information." "Mary?" "What's happening?" "Mary?" "Where's anh li?" "Right here.Drop your weapon." "U.S. Marshals.You drop your weapon." "Put your weaponson the couch slowly,or I'll blow her head off." "God,anh,what are you doing?" "Relax,marshall,she's not shooting anybody." " You thinkI won't shoot you?" " I think you would." "But I thinkmy partner would drop you before you got offyour second shot." "Helen,stand up." "Stay behind me and make your wayinto the bedroom." "Anh,why are you doing this?" "Because I'd ratherwe both die than let them separate usagain." " Go,helen,now." " No,I'd rather we die too." " Helen." " Marshall." "Let her go." "You see why we say no contact with anyone from your past?" "Anh,don't do anything crazy." "Wherever they send us,I'll find you." "That's beautiful.Stay in heretill I come get you." "This is going to get dog-uglyif you don't stand down." "What do you guys wantfrom me?" "Putting your gun downwould be a great place to start." "No,'cause then you'lljust split us up again,and I'm not gonna letthat happen." "Wow,looks like she's gonnaplay this out to the end." "She's good at it too." "What are you guystalking about?" "Your training is showing." "I mean,the stance,the way you hold your weapon." "The fact that you called ita weapon." "I mean,come on." "The phony mugging entry into N.C.I.C.,Passing easily-detectablecounterfeit bills, you've gone to a lot of troubleplaying the careless criminal." "Leaving cluesfor somebody to find,presumably so they'd knowwhere you are." "What do you think?" "Does that sound about right?" "I'd say so.About the only thing we don't knowis who you really are and who you're expectingto walk through that door." "My name is jane kwan." "I'm a cia operative." "And the men who are after helenwill be here any minute." "Four years ago,when the story broke that the agency was responsiblefor the counterfeit bills, we decided to doour own investigation to clear our name." "Helen was already a suspect." "She'd been arrestedtrying to illegally obtain the optically variable ink used on federal reserve notes." "So you went to prisonundercover to get close to her." "We knew her last girlfriendwas asian." "Helen." "They're here." "Come on!" "Get in the bathroom.Lock the door.Lie down in the tubtill I come get you." "U.S. Marshals.Lower your weapons." "Jane." "Mary." "Keep your hands up." "Don't move." "Found this guy at the endof the hall with this." "Once again,way to keep mein the loop." "I'm glad you showed up." "We didn't get to saya proper good-bye the last time." "Let's go." "Will I need to be relocated?" "Depends." "You ready to tell mewhat happened with carolyn?" "Why you argued with herthe night she got killed?" "Carolyn found out that anh had usedthe school equipment to print some bills." "She was gonna turn her in." "I tried to talk her out of it,but I did not kill her." "I swear." "I know you don't wantto hear this,but you werea national security threat." "She was just doing her job." "I'm not a job." "I'm a person." "Could you give us a minute?" "Sure." "Look,helen... it started out that way." "But after a while,a short while..." "I started to have real feelingsfor you." "That's why I didwhat I did with xiao." "I got careless so I couldwrap it up more quickly and we could be together." "Man,talk abouta tough assignment." "What,spending ten monthsundercover in a women's prison?" "I can think of worse." "You do knowit's not all lingerie and pillow fights." "But it is sometimes,right?" "Afis came back with a match from one of the koreansat my murder site." "Must have gone therelooking for your girl.I'm charging them all." "Good enough." "Oh,and thanksfor the assist." "Oh,heard you got engaged.Congratulations." "I think he feelstaken advantage of." "You think?" "Speaking of which,I better get back to the days of our lives." "What's going on?" "We might have a problem." "Any thoughts?" "So many." "The mind fairly boggles." "Happy engagement!" "Congratulations,inspector." "Wow,you guys,this is,um,totally unnecessary." "I thinkwhat my ill-bred friend here is trying to say is... thank you." "You've very welcome.Cupcakes?" "Wow,red velvet.My favorite." "If only there were a ringin one of these." "Princess stillwon't give it up?" "If you knewhow many compliments I got,you wouldn't either." "On what,the color purple?" "Okay,that's it.Sit down." "Come on." " Here." " What--what are you goingto do?" "I don't know,but I'm guessing that's something she picked upin a strip club." "Lotion and dental floss?" "The hardest partis the knuckle." "Sort oflike the baby's shoulders in the birthing process." "You have any ideawhat that makes my ring?" " Is that too tight?" " Yes." "Good.." "Some party trick." "Yes,waittill the bachelorette party." "Well,how soon is that?" "Totally upto the maid of honor." "Why is everybody lookingat me?" "Well,as mary's only friend,naturally we just assumed..." "Relax,ringo,you've suffered enough.I've got a sister." "So how about a toast?" "Excellent idea." "Okay." "Here's to the best friendl've ever had... could ever hope to have." "The girl for whom no manwill ever be good enough." "I hope you know that I love you." "And I wish for you nothingbut a lifetime of happiness." "To happiness." "Happiness." "To happiness then." "So how about some cupcakes?" "Yeah." "Cupcakes?"