"Captioning made possible by ae television networks" "(piano playing)" "(phone ringing)" "Hello." "(click)" "Ah, hello?" "(Wolfe) "Mrs. Valdon," ""this baby is for you because a boy should live in his father's house."" "Is this likely or merely credible?" "Madam... madam?" "Your dendrobium aphrodite has an aphid." "Is... oh, it's just dust, sorry." "Pretty, though, who's your florist?" "Madam!" "Dick had a don juan reputation when i how long were you married?" "11 months, and i know what people were saying." "They were saying," ""oh, he's marrying an armstead."" "Well, i was marrying a famous author." "I was mrs." "Richard Valdon." "Well, i thought we were in love." "For me, there was no one but me and him." "How old was he when he died?" "Ah, 46." "And how old are you?" "Old enough." "He could've had one woman or a dozen." "I just don't know." "Oh, is this a carlyle?" "Uh... yes, it is." "Can you get to the problem, madam?" "Of course, the baby." "Well, i always intended to have two or three and i just put it off, i kept putting it off." "And, now, i do have one and the note is correct." "A child should live in his father's house." "The question is, is dick the father?" "Phooey... never to be answered and you know it." "Phooey?" "You are the best detective in the world." "The best detective in the world may be a rude tribesman with a limited vocabulary." "I cannot help you, madam, no one can." "You can help me find the mother." "Now, i have something here." "Please... glasses." "Yes... oh, here it is." "The doctor said the baby is five months old." "Which means that he was born last june and conceived last fall." "It could take months." "Have you arranged for custody of this child?" "Oh, yes, my lawyer took care of that." "Is he aware that you have consulted me?" "Yes, and he disapproves and i don't care." "It's my business, his business is just the law." "Hmm." "It will be necessary to get information from you, hmm." "And to examine the clothes that the baby arrived in." "These pinholes, the note was not attached with a safety pin." "No, just an ordinary pin." "What are the odds, mr." "Goodwin, that a woman would expose a baby to a bare pin?" "Say, ten to one." "Yes, well... were you alone in the house when the call came?" "Ah, yes, i came home from the country a day early." "My staff had the weekend off." "Why is that important?" "Whoever did this, madam, is someone you know." "How could you know that?" "If you cannot use your own brain, mr." "Goodwin will explain, excuse me." "Well, ah... isn't there some sort of retainer?" "Yes, a dollar, a hundred, a thousand, it doesn't matter." "(Archie) Wolfe's mind was on the shad roe casserole slated for lunch." "He and Fritz had a disagreemet over the use of onion, which had never been resolved." "Mrs. Valdon, perhaps we should go to your place and retrieve the baby's clothes and, ah... whoa... ah, conduct the rest of the interview there." "Oh, yes, all right." "Well, here we are." "Mrs. Valdon." "Well, nice digs." "Yes, i love this house." "My great grandfather built it." "One thing i know for sure is that dick loved this house." "Mrs. Valdon... here are your invitations." "Oh, thank you, miss mimm." "Yes, right this way, we'll sit in the salon." "No." "Ah... yes, yes." "Oh, yes, in fact, buy a whole table." "Sit." "Is there anyone who might have had it in for you, mrs." "Valdon?" "In for me?" "No, but send them regrets." "Hated you enough to saddle you with a loose baby?" "No... no, but write them a note." "The armstead's are a rather dull but responsible family." "No one hates us." "My only controversial hobby is killer fog." "Fog kills?" "32 people in 1948." "A small, little coal town in pennsylvania." "What did they do, get lost in the fog and fall down into the mine or something like that?" "There is no humor in it." "Oh no, no, none, really." "It's going to happen right here in new york city." "You mark my words." "It's the cars." "Ban the subway, we should all walk to work." "That's what i say!" "(cooing)" "Oh, there he is." "Well, hello, hello, hello." "I'd introduce you but i'm not gonna name him until i decide to keep him." "Ah... hello." "You know, i better not." "I haven't read the instruction manual." "Sorry, there." "Well, i'm considering moses 'cause moses didn't know who his father was, either." "Ah, miss mimm, show mr." "Goodwin to the nursery and help him pack up the clothing the baby came in." "Now?" "Yes, please, go along." "(to baby) Hello... you wanna play the piano?" "(playing piano)" "(clearing throat)" "Oh... hello." "Hello, yes, i need those names, now." "Oh, i told you, his best friends were leo bingham," "Willis Krug and julian haft." "No, no, no, i mean the female ones... candidates." "Look, i know it must be hard to name... women that dick might have played house with but... the problem is not that it's hard, mr." "Goodwin." "It's that it's so easy." "There's a list." "You know what?" "I would like a martini, would you?" "Is it too early, or what?" "Well, ah... i, ah... ahem, i might as well be sociable." "One of my functions is to understand the women we're dealing with since Wolfe is so hopeless at it." "Oh, so it's part of your job?" "Sure." "Are you an expert at it?" "Some have said so, yes." "Ah, keep playing and i'll, uh... make some martinis." "I like it five to one, you?" "Oh, of course." "There we are." "Oh, no, no, no, you can't just drink it." "We must be civilized and observe a ritual." "You take a sip of mine and i take a sip of yours." "That's a fine, old, persian custom used to foil poisonings." "What am i doing?" "Why did i do that?" "Get to the "why"" "and earlier, i almost called you "Archie"." "Well, my name's Archie." "Are you a hypnotist?" "No." "Well, i'm not trying to flirt." "I don't even know how to flirt." "You know, don't even know men and women flirt... horses flirt, parakeets flirt." "Undoubtedly, oysters flirt but they must have some special, little... don't forget the baby's clothes when you go, mr." "Goodwin." "Was it the oysters?" "What the devil is this?" "Ah, this is baby paraphernalia." "There are no laundry marks or store labels." "But there is one item that might help if you don't spot it yourself, then it may not be worth mentioning." "Did you get the names?" "Yes, would you like it verbatim?" "I am." "What else?" "Well, there is a monet and a munch in the front hallway and, also, an antique salor rug." "Is it a real salor?" "Yes, i believe it was..." "now, i'm in bad with her 'cause i forgot she was an armstead and i'm a peasant." "But she'll sleep it off." "Maybe you better report verbatim." "Oh, no, not necessary, i'm satisfied." "Any suggestions?" "Yes, tell her that you've discovered that the baby is mine and if she'll marry me, she can have it... shut up." "The buttons on that garment seem inappropriate." "There's a considerable variation in size and shape." "Couldn't possibly have been made by a machine." "Well, congratulations." "Should i apologize for pulling a feather from your cap?" "Nah, we'll split it." "Ah, the brand label appears to be "little cherub"" "which is located in the garment district." "I'll go there and see what they know." "The garment district of new york is no place to go for a stroll." "I visited three baby outfitters and four button firms asking about home-made horsehair buttons and nobody knew and nobody cared." "Then i saw a sign," ""mr." "Lossoff's distinguished buttons"." "I would've gone there first had i known." "I am searching for some..." "(speaking foreign language)" "What can you tell me about these?" "Ooh... ooh... mmm... where did you find this button?" "Hey, that's my line." "You're a button man?" "A what?" "Buttons, buttons, are you a button man?" "Ah, no, no, no, no." "See, the thing is, i found these overalls and i was trying... let me tell you something, you listen up." "I know everything there is to know about buttons." "I have, in fact, the most extensive button collection... in all the world." "I have sold buttons to the duchess of windsor, the queen of england, to the greatgreat, great bette davis and i also like to donate buttons." "I have, to five different museums in nine different countries." "And i have never, absolutely never, met a man who could show me a button that i could not pick out immediately, pick 'em out." "Course, that i could not pick out uh, until you... ck 'em out." "S, of all right, you listen to me." "I've listened, now it's your turn." "I know less about buttons than any man in the world, and yet, i need to know about these buttons and you can't tell me." "Well, i admit, that's true... but you're the button man." "I am the button man!" "I know everything there is about buttons... all right, let me ask you this." "Were they made by machine?" "Oh, come on, don't be ridiculous." "This is... this is horsehair." "Horsehairs?" "Yes, each button was made by hand." "It took hours, the technique i'm not even familiar with." "I'll buy it from you, add it to my collection." "Well, i'll see if i can." "I recognize a button fiend when i see one, but, ah... no... no." "I really must go." "That's right, easy." "Well?" "I just met a man who knows as much about buttons as you do about food." "He said he's never seen anything like these buttons." "He said somebody must have taken hours to make each one." "Satisfactory." "Oh, ah, is there time to put an ad in tomorrow's paper?" "Times, news andgazette." "Well, if i hop on it, i can get all three if i wait, it'll be thegazetteonly." "Then we'll place an ad in each." "Bold faced, 36-point type." "$100 to be given to the first person to provide information leading to the maker by hand of white horsehair buttons, irregular in size." "By 8:00 a.m. The next morning, the ad had flushed out beatrice epps, who only had one thing on her beady, little mind." "How do i know you'll pay me?" "You don't." "Naturally, what you tell me will have to be useful." "You could tell me you knew a man in singapore who made horsehair buttons but now he's dead." "Een to singapore." "Exactly, yes, ah, so where'd you see them?" "On a girl's blouse." "She filled in at the office for a month." "Fromstopgap employment agency." "Ah-ha, do they look anything like these?" "Exactly like that." "She said her aunt made them out of horsehair." "And what's her name?" "I suppose i have to tell you." "Anne." "Her name's anne tenzer." "You'll probably find her attractive." "Everybody else did." "Thanks." "Miss epps was right." "Miss tenzer probably aroused in many men the feelings necessary for the propagation of the species." "Perhaps even richard Valdon." "Mr. Goodwin." "Miss tenzer." "Ahem, yes, yes." "Ahem, you recognize these?" "Of course i recognize them." "(waitress) Drinks?" "What'll you have?" "Bloody mary." "A glass of milk for me." "So... they're made by my aunt ellen." "It takes her forever just to make one." "Winding horsehair around and around isn't much of a hobby." "But there's not really much else to do in mahopac." "Don't tell me that somebody saw me wearing these." "They'd barely fit." "Yes... kind of special how i got 'em, would you like to hear about it?" "Would you like to hear about it?" "That's my one fault, i'm not really interested in anything that doesn't involve me." "Yeah... now, haven't we had enough about buttons?" "Sure, sure, let's talk about work." "I collect buttons, and you work for stopgap employment services." "How many gaps need to be stopped?" "Oh, i'm very, very busy." "Very special, when a private secretary to a big executive gets married or fired by the boss's wife, i'm the one they ask for." "Hmm, because the boss's wives like you?" "I'm more like revenge." "Ah." "Here you are." "All right, here we are." "So, ahem... you work for big executives, tell me this, you ever work for a scientist or, say, a famous author?" "Ha-ha." "No, no, no, they couldn't afford me." "I got home and gave Wolfe the facts." "When i finished, he said... satisfactory." "Then he decided that was an understatement." "Very satisfactory." "And i could use a raise." "No doubt." "Get saul now." "Why?" "I didn i'd quit if i didn't get a raise." "Merely that i could use one." "And i said, "no doubt." You will go to mahopac." "Meanwhile, saul will learn whether miss tenzer gave birth to that baby." "He will do so without stirring dust." "Indubitably, he is the seventh son of a seventh son." "And sadly, my friends, that is how the government has left the situation in eastern pennsylvania." "Now, last december, when a thick fog intensified by coal tar smoke covered london for three days," "4,703 people died." "(whistling)" "Now, an analysis of the air shows levels of sulfur dioxide and carbon monoxide which increased whenever the temperature rose over a four-day period." "You could not see across the street." "The fog was so thick." "(Archie) I stopped by on my way out of town but she was all wrapped up in fog." "On her, it looked good." "...deny that the fog had anything to do with the deaths." "There's a church on the one side and a restaurant on the other side." "And make a left-hand turn three or four miles down the road there, you'll reach your point, okay?" "Fine." "Good luck." "After conferring with the local sage, i found aunt ellen's cottage off the beaten path." "Well, what brings you out this way?" "Ah, ellen tenzer?" "Yes?" "My name's Archie Goodwin, i'm in the button business." "I understand you are, too." "I'm particularly interested in your horsehair buttons." "Buttons, now... why would you think that i make buttons?" "Ah, well, you'd like me better if i said it was for art's sake but, well, i'm in the button business." "Yeah, so you said." "Well, i only have about 17 right now." "17, huh?" "Well, you don't suppose i could get a glass of water?" "It was a very long drive up here." "Sure, come on in." "Aunt ellen didn't seem surprised to find a button collector on her doorstep." "And when i saw Wolfe's ad on her kitchen table, i knew why." "So, how did you hear about my buttons?" "This is very good water all right, bub, you've had your water, now move on." "Miss tenzer, i just drove 60 miles... i don't care if you drove 600 miles." "I'm not gonna show you my buttons and i'm not gonna talk to you about them." "Now get out!" "The aunt's not the mother but she knows who put the overalls on the baby." "She may be phoning that somebody right now but that can't be helped." "Now, i'm gonna go back and stake her out." "We can cover her around the clock if you send out saul, fred, and orrie." "When will you eat?" "Maybe tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "She'd left." "It called for profanity and i used some." "I don't apologize." "Looking at baby" "for the next 18 hours, saul panzer, fred durkin and orrie cather, in shifts, but nobody came." "Damn it, orrie, are you sure it was stebbins?" "No, no, just come in." "All right, that was orrie, i told him to come in because the aunt will not be coming home, she's dead." "Three men in a state police car showed up and one of them was purley stebbins." "Now, it doesn't take luck or brains to know that a homicide serot go to that a homicide serot go to coun for white horsehair buttons." "A presumption is not a certainty." "Invite lon cohen for lunch." "All right, come on, what do you wanna know?" "I'm not here because you enjoy my company." "What do you know about a woman named tenzer, ellen tenzer?" "Roundabout, Archie, if you wanna know about a murder, just say so." "So." "Okay, ellen tenzer, huh?" "Well, about 6:00 this morning a cop was asked to investigate a body that was on a fire escape on 38th street." "He investigated, it was... ellen tenzer and she'd been strangled." "Ellen tenzer and she'd been strangled." "Piece o f cord still wrapped around her throat." "Happy now?" "Who was she?" "Well, she was a registered nurse." "Ahhh." "What?" ""Ahhh."" "Oh, "ahhh"?" "In upstate new york, uh, mahopac and had enough to live on so she quit her job and started boarding babies." "Did she board illegitimate children?" "I don't know." "Why?" "Some do." "Yeah, but why specifically asking about illegitimate... uh, where did they come from?" "No one knows, why do you ask... you know, strange." "Little town like mahopac, nobody knows." "That's right, strange, huh?" "Why do you ask specifically about... uh, who was the last boarder?" "No one knows anything, except it was a boy." "Oh, and that it was a month old when it arrived and that she called it "buster"." "Ahh." "Buster, that's something." "Are you done now?" "Thanks." "Happy now?" "Good, i raist about those buttons, fellas?" "Those buttons that you advertised?" "Nahh." "Did you get them?" "Yes or no." "You would not do that if you had a trained mind like mine." "See, we run an ad for buttons and then we ask you about ellen tenzer." "You assume there's a connection." "Yeah, logic is like that." "Not at all, no." "Mr. Wolfe likes horsehair buttons for his pants." "He does, huh?" "Yes, for his suspenders." "Suspenders?" "Sure, see?" "Ahh." "Heh." "Well, you talk about ifs." "Futile." "If i'd stuck with her, she might still be alive." "Now we have cramer and stebbins on our trail and my fingerprints all over her house." "You can supply no information relevant to the murder." "The hell i can't." "You were hired to find horsehair buttons and you don't know why." "Then i'm withholding evidence, uh, do i name the client?" "Disclose the name of a cli simply because the police want to test an assumption." "I was at her house, she poured me a glass of water." "Archie... do you think i can identify the mother without learning who killed that woman?" "No." "Well then, don't badger me." "It's bad enough without that." "(Archie) Since the genius was not inclined to work, i used my first-rate detective skills to find out how much the police knew before they came to haul me away." "My first stop was anne tenzer, who had been hauled down to headquarters and was sore." "You're not a button collector." "You're Nero Wolfe's legman, Archie Goodwin." "I'm really more of an ass well, it's not that you lied, that's your job." "And it's not my aunt ellen." "Whoever killed her, you didn't start it." "And still you're sore at me?" "Yes... although i'm not sure why." "I am an heiress now, and a dog with really bad breath." "Mmm." "Maybe you just wanted to see my face again and you didn't know how to ask." "No, no, that's not it." "Not precisely..." "but it's close." "(cello playing)" "Ahem." "Oh, mr." "Goodwin!" "Mrs. Valdon." "I take it you have not seen the evening edition." "Well, i've seen it, i just haven't read it." "Well, let me brief you." "On friday morning, i called on a woman named ellen tenzer." "The baby... had been with her in her house for three months." "Oh, so, she's the mother." "No." "Uh, she knows who the mother is?" "She probably did." "You mean she forgot?" "What?" "How could she forget?" "Well, she didn't." "The grandmother?" "No." "The aunt, the uncle, the second cousin?" "She's dead." "Dead?" "Yeah, strangled." "Murdered?" "Yeah." "Now, it's almost certain that the police will find out that i was at her house, ask me why, and... so you're saying it was my fault." "Well, listen, if i tell them that you're my client, you'll get invited downtown for a chat." "I'm responsible for a murder." "No, no, no, i was the one who left her alone, see." "The responsibility belongs to whoever left the baby in your vestibule, see?" "So, don't try to claim it." "I don't like this." "Murder, it's so..." "it's just bad." "What do you mean, i'm gonna be sent downtown?" "By the police?" "That was an "if", mrs." "Valdon if we name you as the client." "Why don't you call me lucy?" "You're pretty giddy for a girl who doesn't know how to flirt." "But, put it in writing and i will." "So, you've come here to tell me not to tell anyone that i've hired you." "Were you followed?" "Only if he was very good." "Now, if you think we owe you an apology for letting a mother hunt hatch a murder, well, here it is." "Oh no, no, i'm the one that owes you an apology." "Oh, lucy, that's not the word." "I was such a..." "a nitwit." "Oh, you're going?" "Well, i've done my errand, so." "Oh, well then." "Good-bye." "Good-bye." "I came home to find inspector cramer and mr." "Wolfe engaged in a friendly interrogation." "(cramer) ...and Goodwin's prints are everywhere." "And if i don't get an explanation from you i'm gonna take you in and you can talk to the district attorney." "Or i'm gonna take you in and you can talk to the commissioner." "Any way, i'm gonna take you in!" "(Wolfe) You're taking me in?" "!" "If you take me in, i will stand mute!" "I would sleep under a bridge and eat scraps before i would submit a client to official harassment." "Ha-ha-ha, you?" "Eating scraps?" "Yes, i would!" "Ha-ha!" "Never happen." "Inspector cramer, fancy meeting you here." "Goodwin, i'm glad you're here." "I hope you're packed because i'm taking you downtown." "Let's go." "Oh, come on, let's go!" "I was in custody from 10:04 p.m. Sunday to 10:05 a.m. Monday, when nathaniel parker, Wolfe's attorney, arrived with my bail." "Well, well, i see you've kept busy... i'm going upstairs." "I had a one-hour nap with a dick standing by." "What's for lunch?" "Sweetbreads witechamel sauce, watercress and beet salad and brie." "Well, if there's enough left over, you should have some." "Archie..." "Archie!" "Before you go, if you could arrange to have mrs." "Valdon here at 2:00." "As we are under surveillance, she should enter through the back." "And i should resign on the spot, but i'm too tired." "I told Archie that i was sorry that i was late." "I had no idea that he had to wait at the back gate for me." "It was a bad start." "So, her saying "Archie" meant to him that she was taking liberties or that i already had." "(sighs)" "Are you ready?" "Yes." "Mr. Goodwin and i are in a pickle, mrs." "Valdon." "Ellen tenzer is dead, and, for the present, we shall leave her to the police because we know that she didn't put the baby in the vestibule." "How do we know that?" "Inference." "A nurse wouldn't use a bare pin." "Yes." "Now, the point is that, assume that ellen tenzer was killed to prevent her from revealing the origin of the baby, and we continue to conceal your connection to her, then mr." "Goodwin and i are withholding evidence of a homicide and that is a felony." "So, you assume that is why she was killed?" "It would be vacuous not to." "Why?" "Focus on the point, if you can." "If we continue to conceal what we know to prevent you from being badgered by the police, then it won't do to merely find out who the mother is." "We must also discover who the murderer is." "Why?" "Be..." "Archie!" "I don't want to have anything to do with a murderer." "You don't, mrs." "Valdon, but we do." "Look, what he's saying is, if you drop us we're gonna have to open up to the cops and then, you'll have cops, you'll have reporters on your doorstep asking you, your friends, your family," "all about the baby, you see?" "But, if you stick with us, well, the cops will never have to know anything about your, uh, connection to ellen tenzer, provided you don't say anything." "Not if you're no longer a client." "Ahem." "Oh, i am!" "Of course, i am." "Archie!" "Oh, uh..." "mrs." "Valdon... lucy, lucy..." "prefers us over the cops." "It's uh... good for the self-esteem." "L... i can proceed?" "Oh, yes, please." "We shall need your help, mrs." "Valdon." "I would like an expanded list of the names of the women who might have consorted with your husband last fall." "I want to meet with four men who knew more than you did about his escapades." "That would be, um, leo, julian, Willis and, i assume, Manny upton." "And i have your promise that if you are contacted by the police, you will stand mute." "Yes." "One more question." "Where were you last friday evening after 8:00?" "The night she was murdered?" "Yes." "Ha, you can't mean that." "You should be gratified that i consider it imaginable." "You have a funny notion of what gratifies people, mr." "Wolfe." "I dined with the governor to discuss killer fog and was home for the 10:00 feeding." "Are you referring to the london event?" "Yes." "Ah." "Mrs. Valdon thinks that the air has somehow, uh, become poisonous, see." "Archie, it is sulfur dioxide." "We are going to poison ourselves to get home from the office five minutes sooner." "Now, to address your query, mr." "Wolfe." "It is utter nonsense to suspect me." "Nothing is nonsense concerning the vagaries of human conduct." "Good day, mrs." "Valdon." "Good day." "For the next two hours, we arranged a very different social event from the ones mrs." "Valdon was used to." "I called her lucy once, and she called me Archie twice." "Hmm." "Thank you." "Well, i, um... i had a lovely afternoon." "As did." "Good-bye." "Ah, the party has been arranged for 9:00." "You are aware that i am not going to ask you what was on that piece of paper that woman handed you." "Oh, now it can be mentioned, see, she wrote in long-hand" ""my dearest Archie, lizzie borden took an ax gave her mother 40 whacks, your loving lucy."" "In case you're wondering what... shut up." "Uh, Fritz?" "You don't dust." "(Archie) The party began on time." "I profiled them neatly for Wolfe and will do so for you." "Manual upton, the editor ofdistaff magazine, discovered dick Valdon and published his first stories." "Willis Krug was Valdon's agent and anxious to get back to work." "The distinguished julian haft published mr." "Valdon's novels and claimed to be his good friend." "Leo bingham was dick Valdon's oldest friend and fellow connoisseur of the female of the species." "Mmm, incredible!" "Serving this elixir offhand and to a stranger, my god!" "In my house, a guest is a guest, stranger or not." "You are a radio producer, are you not?" "Ance to meet you." "I've often thought you'd have enormous possibilities for radio and now that i've heard your voice, my god, it would be stupendous!" "(julian) This is the way it goes, mr." "Wolfe." "Mass culture, he's interested in your voice." "I'minterested in your mind." "Ah." "Have you ever written a book?" "Nothing corrupts a man so deeply as i wouldn't presume." "Could we get started?" "I've got calls to make." "It's simple." "Your friend, lucy Valdon, is being blackmailed." "She has received several anonymous letters from a woman claiming to have been intimate with her husband." "Whuest from you is a list of every woman with whom you think that possible." "Mrs. Valdon has told me that you would be of help." "More brandy, mr." "Bingham?" "Mm, payola." "He pours, the bribe... he sips." "But what a bribe." "What does this lover say, exactly?" "That would violate a firm assurance that i've given my client." "Hell, i'm hooked, i'm bribed." "Yes." "I'm against anyone sending anonymous letters, no matter who." "I'll call in later with my list, can i go now?" "You should be looking into that baby she has up there." "If you don't, you're gonna hash it up." "Lucy Valdon wants a favor from me, she can ask me." "Thank you for coming, gentlemen." "Well, i don't mind." "It might take some time, i'm a very busy man." "Upton was the only one who refused." "And when the lists were gathered and cross-referenced, we had 148 names." "And so, conceived by Wolfe, executed by Goodwin and fueled by the client's hard-earned, inherited cash, the great mother hunt began." "When the results were in, four mystery babies had been accounted for and seven women who had been away in june had been tracked down." "Orrie had flofred to arizona." "When saul phoned in to report that he'd closed the last gap... 26 days and $8,670 later... we were precisely where we had been when we started." "Nowhere." "There were, however, two significant developments." "The first was that my relationship with the client had grown increasingly cordial." "When a client is shelling out $300 a day and getting nothing for her dough, the least you can do is drop in and say hello." "(swing music)" "I discovered that as a dancer, she was no slouch." "She was good enough to take to the "flamingo club"." "The second development was that lucy came within an ace of quitting as a client." "Cramer put two and two together and got four and sent stebbins to do the counting." "Yes?" "Sergeant stebbins, homicide, new york city police department." "Is mrs." "Valdon at home?" "It's all right, eve, i'll talk to the gentleman." "May i help you?" "Mrs. Valdon?" "Sergeant stebbins, new york city police department, homicide." "Did you know an ellen tenzer?" "What business is that of yours?" "Ss." "Eople's busine well, do you have a writ or a warrant or whatever it is that you need?" "Do you have all the papers for that little foundling you took in?" "Of course." "I've gotta warn you, mrs." "Valdon, if we make the connection between you and tenzer and Nero Wolfe on our own, r next interview is gonna be downtown at headquarters." "Good, i've always wanted to see them." "My grandfather's company poured the foundations." "Good day." "After purley left, the queen stormed out of her castle and paid a visit to the peasant." "It was such an intrusion, it was rude!" "Oh, i'm so confused, Archie." "You said you were gonna protect me." "You wanna hold hands, fine." "You wanna be a huffy client, fine." "But it's not fair for a huffy client to call me Archie." "I'm not huffy." "Crabby." "I'm not crabby." "Irritable." "All right, the point is this." "Mixing personal and business is not good for either one of us." "Don't be silly, Archie." "We've been mixing business and personal for over a month now." "You promised mr." "Wolfe... they know about the baby and they know that i'm your client." "Are you gonna keep your mouth shut?" "He came to my home and started asking me questions." "Lucy... are you?" "(sighs)" "(snoring)" "I won't be joining you for coffee, i have a date, of sorts." "And i know we're expecting cramer but he almost never comes after dinner." "He'll probably be here tomorrow at 11:02 anyway, so." "Where can you be reached?" "Uh, you can reach me at mrs." "Valdon's number." "She was just here this afternoon." "Yes, she was shying a little, you know." "She wants some assurance that you could stay in the saddle and i supplied it." "Ah, she, uh... she just wants to make sure you're not going to pull out and she asked me to report what you said." "Flummery." "Right, i'll tell her that." "I was off by three minutes." "Cramer arrived at 11:05 the next morning." "What's the matter, you blocked?" "Yes." "Oh, the hell you are." "Do you deny that there is a direct connection between odwin seeing ellen tenzer and the murder?" "No, nor affirm it." "I don't know, mr." "Cramer, neither do you." "Nuts... you can add just as well as i can." "You've been spending lucy Valdon's money like it's water." "I don't know what panzer, durkin and cather are doing but i know what they're not doing." "They're not investigating the death of ellen tenzer." "Therefore, you already know who killed her." "As reasoning, that is admirably specious." "But i give you my word, mr." "Cramer, i haven't the slightest notion who killed ellen tenzer." "Your word." "My word." "And what the hell are Goodwin and his monkeys doing?" "Uh, what has that got to do with the price of eggs in reykjavik?" "Well, the 8-to-2 man says you entered at 9 and never came out." "And my 2-to-8 man says you didn't come out, either." "You spent the night there, Goodwin." "This was all Wolfe needed." "First, a woman passes a note to me under his nose now cramer was taking notes under my window." "Uh, what night?" "Last night." "Oh, uh, actually, uh, mrs." "Valdon and i, we were feeling somewhat high and we decided to go dance on the sidewalk." "So, we went outside at about a quarter to two." "About a quarter after two, she went back inside." "I left and both your men missed me." "How do you like that?" "You're a liar!" "And you're pig-headed!" "And i want to know the real reason why mrs." "Valdon is spending a fortune on some stray baby and keeping her lip buttoned about it." "And if i don't get the answer from you, bygod, i'm gonna get it from her." "After all this?" "After i have indulged you to theost?" "You dare molest my client?" "You're damn right i would." "I don't care what her name is." "Cramer'san the d.a.'s bite." "They only kept lucy downtown for four hours but, for an armstead, that was enough and she went to recover at her country cottage." "She took her baby, the nurse, the maid and the cook... and me." "It was a modest little cottage it was a modest for the russian army." "Ust e nough room" "(sighs)" "Won't mr." "Wolfe object to you being here with me, the client?" "Yes, but he can't fire me." "Why not?" "Because, if i wasn't around he'd be sleeping under a bridge and eating scraps." "He hates to work and half my salary comes from poking him." "Sounds dangerous." "Yeah, see, when i poke hard, he asks for suggestions then avoids work by dismissing my ideas." "So, my strategy this weekend, was to prod him along and make myself unavailable for him to scowl at." "You think it'll work?" "I will see in a few hours." "Good morning..." "good morning!" "Aw, you should have joined us this weekend." "What a weekend!" "Tramping the moors, the fresh air, the late-night fires crackling as they were." "The beautiful... get your notebook!" "Thus started the second stage of the mother hunt." "And it was elaborate, even by Wolfe's standards." "But i don't wanna go back to town." "It's not so much the going back i object to, it's publicity... period." "I'm an arm... you're an armstead, you're an armstead, yes, yes, i know." "But i thought you were tired of being an armstead and that's why you've taken up with a raffish character like me." "True." "Yes, true, so?" "Ohh, all right." "All right, great, now, i am going to see you tomorrow and i'm gonna go plant a story now." "All right, see it, the sunday feature with a good, wholesome title, "women like babies"" "mostly pictures." "What text there is, will talk about how lucy Valdon, has taken a baby into her luxurious h how she's hired a nurse who's so devoted to the little lambkin she takes it out to washington square park" "every morning at 8:30 to enjoy the beauties of nature." "Lambkin?" "Ah, angel pie, shmookie..." "i'm not writing it, you are." "Goodwin, you've got thnerve of a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest..." "get out of here." "That's not only vulgar, it's irrelevant." "Ellen tenzer was murdered because of that baby." "You want us to put a spotlight on that?" "Next day the baby's snatched and then thegazettegets blamed for it, pass-adena." "Did i mention to you that the nurse will be a detective?" "That's right, sally corbett, the best female op around aside from dol bonner, and that fred durkin saul panzer and orrie cather will be watching her back." "Oh." "Who killed ellen tenzer?" "That's why we're doing this, that's the beauty of this." "Ah." "(phone ringing)" "All right, the picture... (phone ringing)" "I'm talking to somebody, can you wait a minute?" "The picture deadline for sunday is thursday, 6:00." "What do you owe me?" "Dinner." "What do you owe me?" "An exclusive!" "Get out of here." "What do you want?" "(Archie) I spent the next day of the mother hunt with sally corbett, necessary for me to revise my prejudice against female ops." "And i held it against her like Wolfe held it against jane austen for proving womenite." "Did you ever find my hat?" "I don't remember you in a hat." "Oh, here we go." "I tried the fish-eye lens but the aperture is too big." "16 millimeter, i tried the fish-eye lens but the aperture is too big." "The but i'm concerned about the distortion." "Huh." "The remote cable shutter release works like a charm." "Yes, you know, you say the most poetic things." "How long before you're ready for the shoot?" "Just got to get glamorous first." ""Women love babies"." "Ah, it's a matter of taste, i think." "I would have preferred, "women like babies"." "A little more subtle." "Ah, have a look at that." "Oh, dear, lucy armstead in thegazette." "Shocking." "I've already had calls from three of my friends, uncle Wimmie and my sister in boston." "Uncle Wimmie?" "Oh, yes, he's a little touched in the head." "Great storyteller, though, ha-ha." "Um, croissant?" "Ah, yeah." "Yes, ahem." "Tamara, don't you have diapers to wash or something?" "With the teddy bear wired and sally made to look like a nurse, we were ready for anyone who wanted to look at the baby." "What they didn't know was that we were looking back, hoping one of them was the mother." "Hello, little soldier, how are you?" "The, uh, camera is concealed in the teddy bear, you see the eye?" "Yes." "It's a lens." "Yes, it's, uh, remote control." "Yes." "I got the focusing down pat yesterday." "Anyone looking at the baby from six yards or less is gonna get shot in focus." "I tried the 16-millimeter lens but because of the distor... madam, if you would focus!" "Did mrs." "Valdon recognize any of these?" "Uh, no, we're waiting for reports from her husband's friends." "How much did this contraption cost me?" "Oh, 3,000, between 3 and 4,000." "Uh, the beauty of this teddy bear is that it could have been the right eye but sally figured that if it was the left eye because people tend to kinda look into a baby, you know, like that." "That's ridiculous." "The teddy bear pictures were shipped to dick's three friends, julian, Willis and leo, to see if they could spot one of his playmates." "No." "(man) Don't recognize any of them." "Nope, not a one." "Let's hope today's crop is better." "Today's crop was a lot better." "A woman arrived in a cab and seemed to know exactly why she was there." "W... wait, she took a cab there to see the baby?" "Well, let's go find the hackle." "(Fritz) If you cannot abide onion, you must have something to cut the oil." "Parsley." "Hmm." "Sorrel." "Ah!" "Congratulations." "Your theory that a woman who had a baby six months ago might ike now... it was sound, two to one, we have hooked the mother." "Ah, satisfactory." "How many leaves?" "I would think about one per serving." "One?" "Monday morning's crop was three rolls, 26 exposures altogether and one of them was worth its weight in rubies." "(man) That's her." "Now, if i may, i'm going to take that to mrs." "Valdon see if she knows her." "You can reach me at her number." "Andyouare to stay out of my desk." "After the strain of appearing in the press, i thought it would cheer the client up to know the mother hunt might be over." "Carol mardus..." "i should have known." "I haven't seen you beaten 'til now." "Dick said it was all in the past." "But, when they were together, you could still see it." "She and dick..." "they weren't tame." "Yeah, but it ended." "Yes." "But when she got Manny upton to take dick's stories," "Manny made her a fiction editor and she was with Manny." "She left Manny to marry Willis Krug." "Well, that didn't last either." "Now... she wasn't on your list." "Well, i didn't think of her, i mean, not with a baby." "She told me when she was married to Willis that she got pregnant and got rid of it." "Mm-hmm." "Now, if she didn't want a baby, why would she... because it was dick's." "Oh, i am beat, Archie." "Carol" "(ringing phones)" "No... no." "No." "Uh... no." "Carol mardus was absent from her job at thedistafffor nearly six months last year on vacation in sarasota, florida." "(phone ringing)" "Nero Wolfe's office, Archie Goodwin speaking." "Yes." "Are you?" "Well, all righty, thank you very much." "Well, Krug just made it unanimous." "Despite the fact that all them knew carol mardus, none of them could pick her out of a pile." "She must inspire either great fear or the instinct to protect." "I think she's just got her hooks in deep." "Continue, saul." "On june 16th, she was admitted to sarasota general hospital under the name of clara waldron." "Gave birth to a baby boy." "Satisfactory." "So?" "That's the end of the mother hunt." "No, it is not." "It could be, but not for that woman." "That dead one, the one who gave you a drink of water." "Well, if carol mardus is the mother then she either killed her, or knows who did." "How much of mrs." "Valdon's money have we spent already?" "Around 14 grand." "Phooey." "You will see carol mardus." "I won't, no, you will." "I've seen ellen tenzer, i've seen anne tenzer." "And i've seen mrs." "Valdon 20 times to your one." "Yes, you have." "(phone ringing)" "Uh, Nero Wolfe's office, Archie Goodwin speaking." "(woman) You're Archie Goodwin?" "Right." "You may have heard my name, carol mardus." "Carol mardus." "Yes, i have heard your name." "(Archie) When the doorbell rang later that day," "(Archie) The mother in the flesh." "Later that day, i fina lly saw and my first impression was that if richard Valdon played marbles with this when he had lucy, he was cuckoo." "I understand inquiries are being made about me." "Here in new york and also in florida." "It gratifies me to meet you, madam." "I have been seeking you for six weeks." "I'm in the phone book." "L... i didn't know that." "You went to a great deal of trouble you went to a great deal of troubleis baby... baby?" "What baby?" "Archie, the picture." "What is this?" "There were cameras attached to the baby carriage in washington square park." "On june 16th, under the name of clara waldron, you gave birth to a child at sarasota general hospital." "My god, sothat's why she did that." "I knew she couldn't have thought of it herself." "No, i suggested it." "Do you know mr." "Leo bingham?" "You know i do." "Do you know mr." "Julian haft?" "Yes." "And you know Willis Krug, you were married to him." "We showed these three gentlemen those photographs." "None of them identified you." "Is one of them the father of your baby?" "Hmm-hmm, no." "Is mr." "Richard Valdon the father of this child?" "Will you answer me, madam?" "No." "I advise you to." "Further inquiries will reveal your renewed intimacies with him last year." "Did you leave the baby in the vestibule at mrs." "Valdon's house on 11th street?" "Will you answer, madam?" "No." "Where were you on the evening of may 20th?" "None of your business." "Where were you the night ellen tenzer was killed?" "Well, that last question was a little, um, direct." "If she is the killer, then it was well to inform her that we have connected the baby to ellen tenzer." "Yeah, and it's well to remember that if cramer connects ellen tenzer to carol mardus, we lose our licenses." "Take mrs." "Valdon to the country." "If you're anchored here, you'll badger me and we'll squabble." "But come back this evening." "What about checking on carol mardus for may 20th?" "No!" "A jackass could do that!" "Have i no imagination?" "Am i a... a dolt?" "Have i no wit?" "I'm not afraid of heights and, as you know, i love elephants." "We're gliding along at about three feet on this beautiful savanna, that's what they call them, a savanna." "What else did carol say?" "Huh?" "Carol mardus." "I've given it to you, word for word, twice." "Okay, so, we're on the savanna and we're hovering about three feet over it and there's this herd, see, of elephants and they can run very fast, not as fast as rhinos, but they can run very, very... what was she wearing?" "What was she wearing?" "Yes." "Does that have some bearing on the question of whether richard Valdon is the father?" "I just... you just what?" "You juswhat you thought of her." "You mean, did i find her attractive?" "No... okay, so there we were on the savanna." "Now, rhinoceroses, they're very fast... did you?" "Did i what?" "Did i find her attractive?" "Did you find her attractive?" "No... i don't wanna know." "Please go on with the story." "Okay, so we're on the savanna, you know, we're kind of traveling around, hovering and everything... (Archie) I let it slide." "No man with any sense assumes that a woman's words mean to her exactly what they mean to him." "No word from upstairs?" "No, Archie." "I guess i'm gonna have to poke... (phone ringing)" "Nero Wolfe's kitchen." "Archie, it's saul, are you listening to the radio?" "Uh, the radio?" "No, no, i was brooding." "Then i'm bad news." "(knocking)" "Ahem." "Yes." "Uh, yeah, saul just phoned with an item from the 8:30 news." "The body of carol mardus was found in an alley by a cop." "Strangled with a cord around her neck, just like aunt ellen." "No!" "Uh... yes." "Theodore, good morning." "I will not be with you in the plant rooms this morning." "Where are you bound for?" "The plant rooms, of course." "Listen, if cramer shows up here we can no longer say we have no evidence in a murder because now the mother hunt has caused two murders." "Phooey!" "Oh, boy." "Wolfe went off to his plants." "I phoned lon cohen for details." "Carol mardus was murdered less than a block from her ex-husband's apartment." "Her employer came to identify her." "As soon as i knew the facts, i headed for the cottage." "I didn't want lucy to find out from the radio." "No!" "Okay, it's tough, it's damn tough." "All the ifs." "Yeah, but now there are risks, see?" "Do you wanna turn loose?" "No!" "I don't wanna turn loose." "You don't?" "The man who killed them put the baby in my vestibule, didn't he?" "Yes." "Then i want Nero Wolfe to get him." "The cops will get him sooner or later." "I want Nero Wolfe to get him." "All right... he will." "And i'm gonna go bl right ?" "I just had an idea." "I have one a year, you know." "I may be walking by your house and feel like dropping in, may i have a key?" "999 women out of a thousand would have asked me why." "(Archie) I came home to find Wolfe waiting for a party had been arranged in my absence." "Who the hell do you think you are?" "Sit down." "I asked you a question." "Sit down." "By god, if you don't answer me, I... in my house, i do the bawling." "Now, it saves time to have all three of you here together" "as a preamble, you should know that there were no anonymous letters." "I knew it, i knew it." "It did seem odd." "Mrs. Valdon hired me to learn who her baby's mother was." "Knew it." "Mrs. Valdon hired me to learn who her baby's mother was." "I why did none of you put carol mardus on the lists you were asked to produce?" "Carol?" "She's dead." "She is indeed, yes." "You all know her, and her picture was among those i sent to you on tuesday, why did none of you identify it?" "A conspiracy of silence?" "When carol mardus was here yesterday... she was here?" "Did she say she was the mother of the baby?" "But it is indubitable." "And now, with her death, it is also indubitable that she told some other person, call him "x", of her conversation with me and that "x", fearing she would disclose his involvement, killed her." "This is fantastic!" "I presume that you wish the murderer of carol mardus be brought to justice, as do i." "I would prefer not to abet inspector cramer's efforts to find the malignant wretch because i wish to name him myself." "To that end, i have questions to ask." "Will you answer them?" "(sighs)" "Well, carol and i were married for exactly 18 months and... well, there were times i could have strangled her myself, if i had it in me." "Carol mardus was a fascinating, aristocratic tramp..." "to carol." "This is so distressing!" "To even be asked." "She made it plain." "She married me because she wanted to go tame." "She could have had me by snapping her fingers but there was a difficulty." "She belonged to my good friend dick Valdon." "Although, with her, you never could tell." "Belonged... that's not the right word." "Carol belonged to no one." "I just don't see her with a baby." "But if she had one, dick Valdon's the father." "So, who did she turn to for help?" "You, julian?" "She always said you were the osh e could go to dinner with and then go home and read manuscripts." "I suppose i should be flattered, leo." "Your thought that carol considered me worthy of her confidence." "And, of course, she didn't." "Did you kill carol mardus?" "Oh, for god's sake, no!" "No... of course not." "Why?" "Gentlemen... we may not have mutual trust but we have a mutual interest." "In any case, i'm obliged to you on behalf of my client." "All right, boss, now, i call you boss because i know it irritates you but that's part of my job, to irritate you." "Now, either you call cramet he bag or i will." "Impossible." "No, the murderer has dared me with flagrant impudence and it is i, not the police, who will be the instrument of his doom." "(pounding)" "Let's go, Wolfe!" "Ramer)" "Kitchen!" "Come on, Wolfe, open up." "I know you're in there!" "(pounding)" "Cripes, open this door!" "Archie, the coats." "Mr. Cramer is at the front door." "I cannot speak with him without revealing that which i do not want him to know." "Put a chain bolt on the door." "Archie and i have gone, you don't know when we'll return." "Archie and i have gone, you don'with a search warrant... you'll have to admit him, but tell him nothing." "But... the shad roe?" "Yes... go!" "You realize, this is the last day of the season." "There will be no more after this." "Yes, yes." "Must it be a hotel?" "No, i had the idea we might need a dugout so i asked mrs." "Valdon for a key to her house." "It's two miles that way." "We will stop on the way for accouterments." "Easy, easy." "Four cheeses, roast beef, sturgeon, anchovies..." "Wolfe knew there was only one way to get home to his orchids... and his chair and his unfinished book." "Why wasn't he working?" "You're playing house." "Look, sir, there's times to be eccentric and there's times when one must put their mind to the matters at hand." "Archie, tomorrow is sunday and we're boxed up here." "We can't even change our socks." "Move that plate." "Why... get it why... out of the way." "Now, despite all this, i am considering mrs." "Valdon." "I want you to ask her to come here this evening, alone." "And since you're fuming, get saul here tomorrow morning." "Right, what for?" "I am considering ellen tenzer's niece, anne, is it?" "Yes." "If i properly understood her metier, she replaces office workers who are temporarily absent." "That's right, it was called stopgap... i'll be damned, i'll be damned." "I should have thought of that myself." "You were too busy fuming." "No, no, you can't say i was fuming." "Yes, you were." "I was hardly fuming." "You were clearly fuming." "I wasn't fuming." "One cannot think if one fumes." "Do have enough there, by the way?" "Here, have some corned beef, you like corned beef." "Oh, no, no, i wouldn't want to... some wonderful mustard there." "Olives, anchovies, artichoke." "Cheese and crackers..." "you like crackers... olives... (man on radio) ...right up the middle... run, you gotta run, run, run, run." "Pick up the ball, pick up the ball going around first... yes, that's it, that's it." "...safe on third!" "No!" "Well, well, well, aren't you a cozy pair?" "You're astonished that your house is not a mess with two men loose in it, aren't you?" "You are conceited." "Mmm." "But i like you anyway." "How was the governor?" "You know, he asked about you." "Ah, yes." "He missed you... madam, i thank you heartily for this haven." "Well, i hope, sir, that you've been quite comfortable." "I have never been more uncomfortable in my life." "No reflection on your hospitality is intended but, mr." "Goodwin and i are in a pickle." "Again?" "I need to see your husband's friends." "Can you get them here tomorrow, without revealing my presence?" "Mr. Upton might need some persuading but he is essential." "And mr." "Cramer, it would be good to have him here." "Do you like eggs?" "(laughing)" "Confound it, are eggs comical?" "Well, no." "Do you know how to scramble eggs, mrs." "Valdon?" "Of course i do." "To use mr." "Goodwin's favorite locution, one will get you 10 that you don't." "I will prepare scrambled eggs for you tomorrow morning for breakfast." "Tell me 40 minutes before you're ready." "40 minutes?" "Yes." "I knew you didn't know." "(yawning)" "If you're tired, Archie, you should go to bed." "Um... well, mr." "Wolfe, youmust be exhausted." "Oh, yes, what, with all the eggs you've got to cook tomorrow morning." "No, no, i'm not." "Good book, a good chair, satisfactory, madam." "Hmm." "Good morning." "'Morning." "'Morning." "Good morning." "'Morning." "Ah, good morning." "Oh, yes." "Smells delicious, heh." "Mmm." "There we are." "Thank you." "Mmm." "Well, i have got to admit, these are right up there with Fritz's." "I'm gonna have to tell him." "Mmm." "I guess i didn't know how to scramble an egg." "Of course, 40 minutes is more time than one could expect a housewife to spend scrambling eggs but, it's impossible to do it to perfection in any less." "Now i know." "The best i've ever had, really." "(doorbell ringing)" "Ah, saul." "Excuse me." "You know, i read something which might interest you." "It's a monograph by r.p. Armstead on the acidic effect of london fog on the leaves of flowering plants." "Yes, well, my uncle published it under his name." "R.p. Armstead did not write it?" "No... i did." "You?" "I wanted it to be taken seriously." "Well, saul." "I spoke with Fritz." "There were two homicide dicks camped out in your office... smoking cigars." "Archie, give saul tenzer's address." "Never better." "Oh, hello, Manny, won't you come in?" "The others are here." "Others?" "What is all this, lucy, who is this man?" "He works for Nero Wolfe." "You're still involved with that fat fool?" "Hey!" "This way, sir." "Now wait a minute!" "(mrs." "Valdon) You know, i keep thinking tomorrow, i'll no longer be a client." "No more business relations." "Yeah, well, that's why i've made a reservation at the "flamingo club"." "So the whole world can see how you can dance." "Are you flirting with me, Archie?" "Mrs. Valdon." "Mr. Goodwin." "Panzer, what are you doing here?" "Whose little party is this?" "Mine." "Arrest him... them." "They have me here against my will." "Don't be a donkey!" "I'm here to name a murderer." "Mr. Cramer knows that." "Yeah... yeah." "(cramer) Oh, come on, Wolfe." "Let's get on with it, i haven't got all day." "When carol mardus needed t baby, she enlisted the help of a friend, a man, let us call him "x"." "Make it "z", "x" is overworked." "It was a fatal mistake, for "x" was one of the few who had been denied her intimate favors and he resented it." "Such purple prose." "When she told him that richard Valdon was the father he indulged himself in a prank." "He left the baby and a note in mrs." "Valdon's vestibule." "God, what a story this is, is anyone getting it down?" "(chuckling)" "When ellen tenzer communicated to "x"" "that we were on his trail, he strangled her." "The prank was permissible, but the threat of its disclosure was not." "But the threat of its after her talk with me, miss mardus did what ellen tenzer had done." "She was probably scornful." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Blah, blah, blah... now, wait a minute, wait a minute." "The same baby now, wait a minute, wait a minute." "This is that was boarded by ellen tenzer?" "Yes, i see this won't do, i must name him..." "Archie?" "(whistling)" "(Wolfe) This is anne tenzer, the niece of ellen tenzer." "She works for an employment service and fills temporary vacancies at the senior executive level." "Miss tenzer, look around." "Is there anyone in this room who you have ever worked for?" "Oh, hello, mr." "Haft." "He's the president ofparthenon press." "(haft) Is this one of your famous dramas, mr." "Wolfe?" "You don't remember me, mr." "Haft?" "I think it was the last two weeks in june and the first week in july." "I've heard of your tactics and i'm not putting up with them." "Sit down." "Did you discuss your aunt ellen's work with mr." "Haft?" "Well, i must have." "Because it was last january that he called me to see if my aunt ellen still boarded babies." "Did that work out, mr." "Haft?" "She's lying?" "No, i don't say she lies, i say she's mistaken." "She mistook me for someone else." "Puerile, either acknowledge the facts and call her a liar or tell me the truth!" "I calledyoua liar!" "And you are a dunce." "Mr. Cramer, ask mr." "Upton if carol mardus told him who helped dispose of the baby." "He was her employer, he would not allow her a six-month vacation without asking why." "Julian, i'm sorry, but you can't expect me... oh, god." "Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, oh, god... oh, god, oh, god... oh, god, oh, god..." "oh, god." "Mrs. Valdon, you have indulged me... (Archie) Wolfe saw that cramer was about to blow his top so he told lucy to go upstairs and barricade herself inside her tower." "Otherwise, she'd be spending the night downtown with the rest of us peasants." "Mr. Haft, you are a malignant, impudent worm." "But now that i have exposed you, i offer advice..." "go prepare your defense." "There must be traces, letters, canceled checks, a stray hair in your car." "It's a simple matter to produce evidence w who it's a simple matter you are looking for." "Well... go." "You know damn well he's not going." "Nobody is." "Good god, this is brutal!" "All of you..." "i'm sending for cars." "I'm taking you all down to the district attorney's office, especially you." "Never leave your house, huh?" "Well, now that you've left it, you'll go back when i say so." "We've had our little triumph." "Let's go." "Uh, mr." "Cramer, i realize that this is now yourmoment of triumph, but don't you wanna take the murderer along with you?" "All right, get him... come on!" "All right, let's go, everybody out of here." "Come on, come on, come on, go, go." "Unhand me, you barbaric peon!" "It took eight hours to sort things out." "But as soon as he made the case," "Wolfe returned to the brownstone, got into bed and didn't emerge for four days." "Captioning made possible by ae television networks captioned by soundwriters™"