"(piano music)" " He liked a lot of things, he liked fucking" " He did?" " He liked lying." " [Interviewer] Wait, let's talk about fucking." " Fucking?" " [Interviewer] Yeah, is that what you said?" " Yeah." " Yeah, what did you..." " Franklin liked to fuck." "(grandious orchestral music)" "Ben Franklin was best friends with this guy for a long time." "So this guy moved out to a suburb 40-50 miles away and became a teacher out there, and said," ""Ben, you're my best friend." ""Take care of my wife." ""This woman, Annabelle." ""Take care of her." ""Make sure no harm comes to her." ""I'll be back in a few months."" "So Ben said, "Cool." ""I'll do that for you, dude." ""You're my best friend."" "This guy went away, and Ben Franklin would say things like," ""Hey, just checking in," ""seeing if you need anything,"" "And then like a week later he'd be like," ""Hey!" "Listen, I know your guy's away," ""I just wanna make sure you're okay with food." ""Maybe I'll bring over a couple of biscuits."" "And then a week later he'd be like," ""Hey!" ""Maybe you need someone to stay over tonight." ""Maybe you need someone to light a fire for you." ""I don't know if you know how to light a fire." ""You're a woman." "It's 1770."" "And then, like a week later he'd be like," ""Hey!" "We lit a fire together." ""We made some chicken pot pie." ""We made a couple of drinks together." ""Maybe I can fuck you."" "And then a week later was like," ""Hey!" "We fucked." "And it was cool for you a week ago," ""Why isn't it cool now."" "And then like a week later would be like," ""Hey!" "Listen, I don't understand" ""what your problem is with me." ""We had this relationship, things were going well," ""I taught you how to light a fire," ""I tell you how to cook for yourself," ""We fucked, and now you don't want" ""to be a part of our relationship."" "And then the girl was like," ""Alright you can fuck me one more time but that's it."" "And then like the week later the guy," "Franklin would be like," ""Hey!" "I fucked you last week. (stifles laugh)" ""I taught you how to light a fire, and hang out," ""And now you're not even gonna tell your boyfriend?"" "And then a week later he would be like," ""Listen, you might as well give up on yourself." ""This is a lost cause." ""I'm gonna fuck you no matter what." ""I don't, (laughs) I don't care about your boyfriend." ""The guy was a loser." ""I kicked his ass and I fucked his fiance." ""You might as well come back to America with me."" "And she was like, "No, no, no." "I choose my boyfriend."" "And he was like, "You've made your choice, fuck you." ""And your boyfriend." ""And you are a disgusting whore."" "(laughs)" "So then, his friend came back, and her fiance basically told Franklin," ""You can go fuck yourself," ""I want nothing to do with you forever." ""I'm gonna marry this girl, you go back to America." ""Be poor, be a fucking sucker." ""I'm gonna teach, and I'm gonna marry this girl," ""And my life is set."" "And he married her, and they had a very happy marriage." "And Ben Franklin changed the world." "(music stops)" "In Pennsylvania." "And France." "And this girl never spoke a word of it to anybody." "And that's how the world, (laughs) that's how life works." "(orchestral music)" "Franklin liked anything he could fuck."