"USS Kelvin." "I killed your captain and left your ship plummeting." " Let's do this." " I'm right in the middle of something." " But I'm about to deliver our baby!" "Whew." " Last time I eat Romulan for lunch." " The ship is gonna crash." " Oh, no, no, no." " You have to make it." "Don't know if I can." "It's out of control." "Say goodbye to our son for me." "I'll send you his picture." "I did it." "I regained control of the ship." "I'm alive!" "The heck I am." "Hi." "I'm James T. Jerk." " I'm Abora." " Ahh." "You're telling me." " This jerk needs to be taught a lesson." " For yawning?" "No." "For stealing the bar scene from Star Wars." " That's enough." " Unh." " You should be in Starfleet instead of a bar." " Why?" "Look where it got my father." "Your father was the captain of a starship for 12 minutes." "He was on the toilet for 10 of those, but I dare you to do better." "Well, then, pass me those nachos." "Whew." "That was for you, Dad." "Welcome to Starfleet." "This is Slack-off." " Mr. Toodle-oo." " Toodle-oo." "And I am Captain..." "Shlock!" "I finally found you." "Now I will destroy your home planet with my drill." " It can do that?" " That's not all it can do." "Order now and we'll throw in this destructive red goo." "That's the drill and the red goo for just 19.99." "Order in the next five minutes and we'll throw in this free oven mitt." " Got to destroy that drill." " I've got to save my family." "I gotta get that oven mitt." " Energize." " Toodle-oo." " Shlock." " Mother." "Father." "No time to explain." "This planet is going to explode." "So is your mother." "She had Romulan for lunch again." "Oh." "I should hit the toilet again before we go." "No!" "Oh." "I feel so much better." " I stopped the drill." "Did you save your mo...?" " Don't say it." " Or I will kick you off this ship." " Mum's the word." "Vulcan idiot." " Aah!" " I gotta work on my greetings." "Unh." "Ben Kenobi?" "I am Shlock from the future." "Zero marooned me here, forced to witness a most unspeakable act." " The destruction of your planet?" " No." "The rest of this movie on DVD." "Luckily, I think I've found a way off this snow cone." "Uh, a little help?" "Anyone?" " I thought I kicked you off this ship." " Yeah." "But someone old and wise said I'm supposed to be the captain." " Future Shlock?" "No." "It was Gene Rottenberry." "The guy who created Star Blecch." " Now move over." " Unh." "Shlock!" "Ugh." "Doesn't this TV get any other channels?" "Beauty tips with Megan Fo..." "Oh, good." "Ben 10." "Shlock!" " This is illogical." " That I continue to stalk you?" "No." "That anyone can follow the plot of this." "We've stolen so much from Star Wars." "Let's steal the ending too." "She's all yours." "Now, let's blow this thing and go home." "Yahoo!" "Wow, this mission has aged the crap out of me." "I am not a mirror." "I am you from the future." " Did you come back to wish me luck?" " No." "To get my money back." "This DVD sucks." "Slack-off, give him his money back." " Mr. Toodle-oo, warp speed." " Toodle-oo." "Are we out of cheese again?" "Oh." "I forgot to put it on the list." "How does that still need to be written on a list?" "It's that time of year again." "When the undead come out looking for great deals on school clothes." "So head to Aberzombie and Stitch." "The clothing store with tons of gore where everything is half off." "Need a cool outfit for stumbling around at the dance?" "Our jeans aren't just distressed, they're deceased." "And check out these scarves." "But you'll have to move faster than that." "Because this sale only lasts a day, a night and a dawn." "Aberzombie and Stitch." "It doesn't take brains to know it's best the place to shop." "You love the characters in Toy Story 3, but here are some rejected ones." "Speak n' Swear." "How you do spell house?" "How the **** should I know?" "Mr. Couch Potato-Head." "You guys rescue Buzz." "Baby Never Stops Crying." "If we don't find Andy before tonight..." "I'm sorry, this is just..." "Does he really need to be here?" "Bizz, the friendly fax." "What are we gonna do, Bizz?" "And Private Space." "Aah!" "I need a personal perimeter of 5 feet-by-5 feet." "Toy Story 3." "So many characters." "But not these." "Yep." "You got ninjas." "Good morning, subscribers." "Gossip Hurl here." "Your one and only source for nauseating news about Manhattan's ill-ite." "This week's top stories:" "Squeemy Vandergag returned to town only to eat a bad piece of tuna at Lori Green's reception." "When Clammy Feverpot saw this, she spewed chunks into the punchbowl spoiling the rest of it for everyone." "When she heard her party was ruined, Lori didn't take the news so well." "And when something that juicy gets out everyone gets involved." "Gossip Hurl." "Your one-stop barf blog." "But if we clap real hard, she'll come back to life, right?" "Right?" "And now it's time for Beauty Tips With Megan Fox." "Hi." "I'm Megan Fox." "Are you happy with your looks?" "You shouldn't be." "If you take my advice, you'll be so beautiful, no one will believe it." "First, always use a shade of eyeliner that compliments your skin tone." "Not dark enough?" "Then use your laser finger to burn it a shade darker." "Wanna draw more attention to your lips?" "Just open up your wrist access panel and set the air pressure to a safe 2.5." "It's that easy." "And for those special occasions, sometimes a whole new look is in order." "That should get heads turning." "Turning, turning, turning." "Destroy all humans, destroy all humans, destroy all humans." "Hi." "I'm Megan..." "Megan, Megan, Megan..." "Shlock!" "This has been Beauty Tips With Megan Fox." " Yello?" " Hmm." "Looks like somebody got caller ID." "It's time for everyone's favorite game." "No, It's Not." "Can you guess what this is?" "Do you think it's chicken?" "Is it a fish?" "No." "It's snot." "Thanks for playing." "There's no money in the budget for glee club." "How can you be so sure?" "For starters, we're using the cheerleaders as chairs now." "Ugh." "How can my group compete with Screamios?" "They can't." "My girls are beautiful and they're invulnerable." "You're confusing them with the cheerleader from Heroes." "An easy mistake." "They're both popular and they both bring in the crowds." "Unlike your pile..." "Don't say it." "We don't have enough money for a censor either." " Too bad." "Because they are u..." " Glee" "Oh, yeah?" "You'll see." "We'll bring in the crowds the same way all those other teen shows do it." "What's that?" "Just some high school squares" "Some jocks, some girls One's in a chair" "Trying hard to stay on key" "Dodging red slushies" "She hates germs" "They're told to spy" "Not quite sure if that's a guy" "But no matter what it's called" "It's a lot like High School Musical" "Singing in high school Seems to be the thing that's cool" "So we'll do it too" "This makes our show number five" "The Jonas Brothers sing" "Hannah Montana croons" "Victorious is filled with tunes" "It's cheap, it's lame We're all just copying Fame" "Singing in high school Seems to be the only rule" "Forget plot" "Who are we trying to fool?" "No need for originality" "His hairstyle's from '83" "And this gesture is our sole choreography" "It's all schlock" "What do you think?" "Can glee stay?" "I don't know." "There wasn't enough money in the budget for an ending." "Shlock!"