"I, A WOMAN Based on a novel by Siv Holm" "Siv!" " Hi!" " Siv, my colleague." " Hi." "Sit down and have a drink." " Thanks, but I'm busy." " Ah, sit down and relax." " I'm going out to phone, so I can get a waiter." " Do you want an apple?" " No thanks." " You're not much talking?" " I'm tired." "I have a headache." "You're a bad liar." "Write your address." "Tell me, are you scared?" "Write your address." "I'm coming to pick you up this evening at 22 o'clock." "I'm coming to pick you up this evening at 22 o'clock." "I'm coming to pick you up this evening at 22 o'clock." "22 o'clock." "22 o'clock." "He'll fill you up, so we need to float over..." "Now he calls, come to me..." "I'll be beside you..." "He'll fill you up, so that we must float over... with His love and power." "with His love and power." "Haleluja..." "Haleluja..." "Amen.." "Amen..." "He'll fill me, so we must float over... with His love and power... with His love and power." "Haleluja..." "Haleluja..." "The Lord is good..." "The Lord is patient ..." "The Lord will protect us all..." "We renounce the devil..." "The Lord is patient..." "The Lord protects us all..." "How it was a blessed meeting, are not you glad you're saved?" "Goodnight!" "Why is she always in that way against me?" "I'm her mother." "It is, as if you have kept me outside." "As if you have secrets together." "Secrets?" "No, not yet." "There we not." "It's just that you have it easier." "Have I?" "Yes." "You never doubt." " You seem so erotic to them." " But not to you, eh?" "I know a lot about both the man's and the woman's anatomy." "And a man's first duty is precisely to understand woman in the erotic way." " And do you that?" " Yes." "Theoretically I do anyway, and I'll do anything to understand you, when we get married." "I've read a lot about it." "But the animals." "They can't read." "Don't do that!" "Do you hear?" "You may not." "Aren't you at all aware of, how good and noble a young man, Svend is?" "Sometimes you're so strange to him." "Dad and I are so happy for him." "I'm coming to pick you up this evening at 22 o'clock." "Hello!" "Good evening Siv." "It's Heinz." "I'm in town a few days." "How about we meet?" "Hey, Siv!" "It's Heinz!" "Well." "He is dangerous." "Very dangerous for small, innocent girls." "I would like to look at him." "Beware!" "He's married and has two children." "Just that you know it." "Good afternoon." " Hi." " My name is sister Siv." "You're number 12, who come and say hello, - but you're also the prettiest." "If there are several pretty nurses at this section, then send them in to me." "I have nothing else to do." " Who called?" " I did." " Would you please shake the pillow?" " Yes." "Would you please turn the cold-side up?" "What's then the cold side?" " Now, Christensen is happy the rest of the day." " Now, you'll behave yourselves properly." "It's impossible, when you come into the room." "You are terrible." " Miss Esroth?" " Yes." "Please come here." " You'll like to become a nurse, right?" " Yes." "I've noticed you, in that time you have been here." "And you're really talented." "You're really handy, ... and you're willing, and ..." "Yes, everything is really okay, but ..." "But what?" "You are in a section for men, Miss Esroth." "Private, you may of course be a woman." "But not here." "When you wear the white uniform, you're the nurse." "That is the neuter." "Do you understand, what I mean?" "You bring anxiety and confusion with you." "The hospitalized must primarily feel themselves like patients ... and not as men." "Can I say it more clearly?" "No." "That was good." "Think about it, and go then back to your work." "I'm lying in a private room." "I need service." "Fire!" "There's a lighter on the table." "Why do you shake your hand?" "You're still shaking." "You're in love with me." "Am I?" "A gift?" "Yes, it's real gold!" " Do you mean, that you'll give it to me?" " Yes, of course." " But I can't accept that." " Why not?" "Because I'm engaged, and you are married." "And it's all wrong, all of it." "Is it?" "You're in love with me." "Yes." " I will not be it!" " A nice girl must have nice things!" "And I have time to wait." " Have you?" " Yes!" "Take the bracelet." "Thank you." "Immoral, vain, little bastard!" "Yes." " Is there anything, I can help you with?" " Yes, hello." "My name is Mrs. Gersen." "My husband is in a private room, but I forgot the number." " Yes, it's the door furthest away." " Thanks, thank you very much." "Here you are!" "And thank you for lending it me!" "Did you met my wife, when she visited me today?" "So you're jealous." "Let's make peace." "I can tell you, that I'm jealous too." " At who?" " At your fianc?" "e." "You might not believe me?" "No." "Of course I could well tell the old banality: "My wife don't understand me."" "But she does." "She understands me very well." "Let's not talk more about my wife." "Let's talk about us two." "Don't be so distrustful." "Sit down on the bed and keep me company." "I must go." " With your fianc?" "e?" " Yes." "How is he?" " We wait, until we're married." " Is he gay?" " Dad." "He hasn't tuned up the fiddle." " No." "He can not." " It's false." " Yes, it is." "Nonsense!" "Svend has played the violin, since he was 8 years." "I'm terribly sorry, for what I said about your fianc?" "e last night." "Sorry." "Please can't you just shake my pillow?" "And straighten my sheet." "I think he's a very nice guy." "It's me, there's something wrong with." "No, it isn't!" "He's stupid and ridiculous, and sometimes I hate him." "Are you neither saying "good evening" or "sorry"?" " Why should I apologize?" " Because you have kept me waiting for over two hours." "And it's not the first time." "You never kept a deal!" "Where have you been?" " Prominence!" " In this rain?" " If I now like it that way." " What's wrong?" "Forgive me, but I have to work." "My hair is still wet." "Take a glass of wine, so you can get little heat in the body." " I have night watch, this Herrn Geertsen." " Cheers." "And don't you please call me Mr. Geertsen?" "There are other patients at the department, Mr. Geertsen." "Well, but nobody is as sick, as I am." "I must see, if there is some the other patiens, who have called." "You haven't much clothes underneath." "Take off the dress." "I'd really like to see you naked, Siv." " Are you been crazy?" " I don't touch you." "I just want to see you." "Be honest." "You're exhibitionist." "All women are more or less exhibitionists." "They enjoy showing off." "They just will not admit it." "Let me see you, Siv." "Don't have a photograph of yourself without clothes?" "Well, I know you then." "I know exactly, how you are." "You don't know me, Sven." "You are that man in the world, who knows me at least." "Who is he?" "He is married." "It may never come to anything." "Who is he?" " Heinz Gersen." " The antique dealer?" "That swine." "That man-about-town." "That girl hunter." " You don't know him." " I know his reputation." "It's enough." " But I know him personally." " Oh, from where?" "He's a patient at my department." "Are you so in love with him for real?" "I don't know." "I just know, that I am crazy about him." "You talk like a stupid, cheap slut!" " Who says, I'm not?" " I do." "If you let me go, then he gets you." "And when he's finished with you, then there's others coming." "Many others." "You will be destroyed, both as a woman and a human being." "I love you, Siv." "I can't live without you." "I don't know, what to do without you." "We can try to continue." "You don't know, how happy you make me." "I understand, that other men fall in love with you." " Do you want a picture of me without clothes?" " Do you really mean that?" "Would you please ... give me a glass of wine?" "He will fill me, so it must float over ... with His love and vigour." "Give me the mirror." "It's on the table." " Isn't it enough, that I think, you look lovely?" " No, it's not." " I can't see any difference." " Difference?" "I've heard, that you can look at a girl's eyes, if she is innocent or not." "I can't see any difference." "You end up as a hooker." "That's how it starts." " You laugh?" " You should see, how funny you look." "I'll show you, how funny I am!" "Here you have been before, what?" "With others than your wife." "Does it matter?" "And shouldn't we two have a whole night together?" "Completely at peace." "I'm the most beautiful woman worldwide." "Isno't true?" "Yes!" " And you've never been so in love with someone else?" " No!" "You're lying." "Yes." "Go on with that." "Cheers!" " How do you think about the dress?" " Splendid." "But I prefer you without it." "So I'll take it off." "What are adolescent girls doing?" "They are waiting." "They yearn." "They don't think." "They just feel." "They decorate themselves." "They measure, how big their breasts are." "They are hysterical and unpredictable." "They laugh and cry entirely without reason." "They turn around for every man, they see." "Have an eye to them." "Did he see me?" "They are like little, erotic demons." "They can be schoolgirlish, or behave them like ladies." "But their deepest ... their fondest wishes, it's the same." "Rape!" "Think, that one can get so hungry." "And so happy." "What do you say to your wife?" " What should I say to her?" " I think, when you're away a whole night." "There are many nights, where she's not at home." "Well, why are you married then?" "It's not certain, that we continue to be so." "And maybe it depends on you." "Where are you gone?" " Here." " No." "You were fucking with the violinist." "If you absolutely want to know, so I thought of my father." "He should have played in an orchestra as first violinist." " How you're wonderfully primitive." " What do you mean?" " I think your whole way of being." " Is that, why you will not introduce me to your friends?" "I have no friends." "I'm a lonely man, and I want to be so." "But don't try to pull me in your loneliness." "Siv!" "Marry me." "I can easily get a divorce." "It's no problem." " Why not?" " It's hard to explain." "Maybe because you're so bitter." "And because you'll own me." "As mom and dad and Sven have done." "And I'll not be owned by anyone." "It's a strange thought, that one will die one day." " Well, you will then recovers again, Sergo." " Yes, maybe." "The death means nothing at all." "You belong to God." "I don't know." "I've played fiddle." " So it is true?" " What?" " That you go to town to meet other men." " It relates not so, Heinz." "I thought otherwise, I was a very good lover." "But one man is apparently not enough for you?" "But I understand it perfectly well." "I'll help you to pack." "Is that why you will not introduce me to your friends?" "I have no friends." "I'm a lonely man, and I want to be so." "But don't try to pull me in your loneliness." "Siv!" "Marry me." "I can easily get a divorce." "It's no problem." "May I be allowed to give the next drink?" "My name is Lars Thomsen." "I am a mate, but I have gone ashore." "My name is Siv Esroth." "I'm a nurse." "Well, that was the formalities." " You want?" " Two drinks, please." " What must it be allowed to be?" " Yes, uh, I don't care ... two whiskeys." "Whiskey, it's always whiskey." " Is it the eyebrow?" " That too." "It was split off once in a brawl." "That's why, it looks like I'll blink to all young ladies." "But I don't." " May I pay now?" " Yes. 8.50 kroner." "Thank you very much, Mister." " Where are we going into now?" " I don't, are we going at somewhere?" "Of course we would." "We should go out and enjoy ourselves." " Now you stay here." "I'll be right back." " Where are you going?" "Take it easy." "You can probably take care of yourself without me for three minutes." " Does it hurt to be tattooed?" " What are you saying?" " Does it hurt to be tattooed?" " No." "One is always to drunk to feel anything." " How does it feel the day after then?" " Take it now just easy." "I'll come immediately and tell you everything about life and life's enigmas." "Then we'll eat." "Well." "Here you are, lady." "I hope you're hungry." "Are you always so well-stocked?" "Do you always take care of lonely, hungry girls?" " So you have no boyfriend?" " No, I said." "I wouldn't like to become involved in jealousy or drama or so." "Please be calm." " Are you very lonely?" " Not anymore." " How long have you been in this town?" " Nearly four months." "But at the hospital." "Are not you friend with some of the other nurses?" "I'm not the type, who get girlfriends." "No." "When it comes down to it, then you might not be the type to tolerate other women?" "I will not say that, but I prefer men." " Shall we play?" " What should we play?" " That we're the only people in the world." " Well, but we are not." "We can also play, we're driven ashore on a deserted island." "And ... so what?" "What makes a sailor on a desert island with a lady?" "I don't know." "How could I know?" "I'll teach you that." "Come on." "I'm drowned in the chair." "Kom s?" "." "So then I guess, I'm trying." "Come on." "We can surely meet halfway?" "Come on." "Closer." "Come on." " You speak to me, as I were a dog." " Aren't you then?" "Yes." "Beware, I don't bite!" " Ouch!" "Hell!" " I told you to beware." " It was pretty stupid of you to follow me home." " Why?" "Because I'm going to eat you." "It's beautiful." "Where did you get it?" "In the East." " Have you ever been in the East?" " No." "I really want to." " One could believe, you were born there." " Why?" " You love as a woman from the East." " How should I understand that?" "As a compliment." "They are the best lovers in the world." " Who taught you that?" " It's probably an inborn talent." "Want to move your pretty head a little?" "Here." "Take it on and see whether it suits you." " It's beautiful." " It's yours." "No thanks." "When I say, it's yours, so it's yours." "Don't be sad, but I don't want anything from you." "Why not?" "We've had it so wonderful, but we don't owe each other anything." "And we will not either." "But I would like to borrow it from you." "When I come and greet you." "You're a strange lady." "Thank you." "Not too tight." "Finished?" " Blood pressure?" " 120/75" "Good." "Scissors." " Is the blood pressure still normal?" " Yes." "Suture." "Is there ever anyone, has told you, you are a very talented nurse?" " Yes." " Many?" "Yes." " Are you happy to be here in the department." " Yes." " Are you happy working for me?" " Yes." "Yes, yes, yes." "Can't say other than "yes"?" "Then say "yes" again!" "Then say "yes"!" "Why not?" "Should I rather saying: "May I love you"?" "It would have been a lie, right?" "It has nothing to do with love." "Certainly not the first time." "But I could of course have said:" ""Can I get in bed with you"?" "Or more passionately:" ""Can I own you"?" "I prefer to say it straight and hard." "May I?" "Please say yes now." "Yes." "Good." "I'm coming tonight 8 o'clock." "Yes." "Is it a deal?" "Good." " Do you know, where I live?" " Yes, yes, of course." "I have known it a long time." "You thought maybe, it was a impulse?" "Dad?" "Siv has come!" "He's very ill." "He has asked much after you in the recent past." " Couldn't you have written before?" " I thought, it maybe was not so bad, and ..." "I wouldn't want to worry you unnecessarily." "Have you come home to see, how it goes with me?" "Do you think, it's too early?" " Too late." " Why do you think so?" " Because I must ... die." " You must absolutely not die." "Not yet." "It can't be hard for you, Dad." "You believe in God after all." "You believe after all in the heaven." "You've been so slender, Siv." "There are certainly many, who think so." "No." "You have erotic megalomania, my friend." "What does that mean?" " It's simply a diagnosis." " And what do one do about it?" "What?" "What to do?" "It can damn probably not be cured." "How does it manifest itself?" "It's just not enough with one man for you." "Well, in a period then it will go fairly, until you get tired of it." "The poor man hasn't allowed to be tired." "You want, that all men must watch admiringly at you and then you can choose." "Yes." "Well Siv, you're getting cold." "Take some clothes on." " No, I'm not cold." " Of course you are." "Have some more clothes on!" "I will not!" "Don't talk to me, like I was 12 years." " That you bother." "You catch still nothing." " Yes, yes." "I plan to catch the dinner." "I cook dinner." "We have lots of canning." "Do you hear that?" "You don't do it again!" "I do, what I want." "Take some clothes on, and behave properly." "Siv." "Be at the hell just a little nice!" "Yes." "You're an exhibitionist." " Hello." " Hello." " Want a drink?" " Let me first get in at the door." "No." "We must have a drink now instantly." " Should it be strong?" " You decide." "So it becomes strong." "Thank you." " How long have we known each other?" " I really don't know." " That kind I can't keep track of." " Exactly 40 days today!" " Is something wrong?" " Lots." "Lots of whiskey and a little water." "You know how I'm going to be." "Do you Want the kimono, or will you not have it?" "It sounds as, it's a problem for you." "It is a problem." " I was about to write letter to you." " What do you say?" "Write letter to you." " But now you came yourself ..." " It must be serious, since you'll write to me." "It is." " How could you know anyway?" " I write, when there's something, I find hard to say." "Now do you think, I'm stupid." "I think, that between us, it just should be a game, right?" " I still don't understand, what you are saying?" " I've got a job on a boat to the East." " When are you traveling?" " Not until about three weeks." "I'm a sailor." "I can't stay ashore forever." "Do you remember the night, you baked apple-pies for me?" "I've never tasted anything so good." "I would like, that you met my parents." "In short:" "Will you marry me?" " Do you think, we should get married right away?" " Precisely." "Before I travel." "You can probably answer at hell!" " I can't, Lars." " Why not?" "You know me." "You know, how I am." "I can't be without a man for so long." "Drink your whiskey and get out!" "But why?" "You must first travel in three weeks." "Drink your whiskey and get out!" "And then the key!" "Yes, yes." " Tell me, what it is, you want." " You can damn well say." " One should think, you had committed a crime." " Well, I have too." "What then?" "There is another girl." "She must have a child with me." " What are you saying?" " Facts." "She is 6 months pregnant." "She told me first yesterday." " Yes so." "So what?" " Yes, so what?" "I'll marry her." " Why?" " Why?" "Because she's young." "She's afraid." "It's too late for an abortion." "And you don't want to marry me, right?" " But you don't love her?" " No." "You know, I don't." "You're the only one, I like." " Yet you marry her?" " Yes." " I told." "She's very young and scared." " And you're not afraid?" "Me?" "Scared?" "For what?" " Do you think, you can keep it off in the long run?" " I don't know." "She is cute." "Cute, yes." "She's cute and wants to marry." "She's probably a good mother." "An excellent wife." "She'll probably look admiringly at you." "Makes your favourite food." "Does the slippers for you, when you come home weary at night." " And what more?" " What do you mean?" "What more!" "What the hell would there be more?" "No, no." "You're right." "You resign maybe just a little early." "Siv!" "Marry me." "So I drop her." "So we'll find a solution together." "She's young, she's scared and loves you surely." "She wants to get married." "You can't fail her." " Do you think, that I have failed you?" " What do you think yourself?" "I'll tell you." "You feel violated in your vanity." "And then nothing more." "You don't love me." "No, but you're not tired of me yet." "Not enough of me." "And I had to stay with you until the day you say: "Out!" "Finished." "Go away!" Right?" "So easy, you'll not forget me." "I'm coming to get you this evening at 22." "22 o'clock." "22 o'clock." "He comes." "A new man." "I'm allowed to be happy." "I'm allowed to be insanely happy." " Hello." " Hello." "Yes, I'm done." "We should probably go?" " We should probably go out?" " Not yet!" "No, no." "Not in that way!" "Stand still!" " You don't love me, but you're not tired of me yet." " And then what?" "Is there anything wrong with that?" "I look at every man, I meet." "He sees me?" "He enjoys the sight?" "You end up as a hooker." "That's how it starts." "Because I was walking Sunday with you and let me ravish the eyes of others?" "I enjoyed it!" "I thought otherwise, I was a good lover, but one man isn't enough for you." "I still love you, Heinz." "I love your proficiency." "Your experience." "Thanks!" "Now do you suppose, that I'm crazy." "Between us would just have been a game." "Right?" "I love you all." "Throughout the entire male gender." "I love all men." "And they must all desire me." "Are all women also so?" "Or is it just me?" "Are you okay?" "What's your name really, my lord?" "Are you going?" " Yes, why should I stay?" " Well, I mean just ..." "What do you mean?" "I must have been a kind of disappointment for you, since you go?" "No, no." "Quite the contrary." "You are wonderful." "But whether I'll stay now or come back ..." " So ..." " So?" "What then?" "Then you'll probably get married in less than three weeks." "And it doesn't fit me to be married!" "Why are you laughing?" "Why in the hell are you laughing?"