"Anyone thinking we know fuck all needs to watch their back." "So you've had your Labour reclassifying skunk, sending prices sky-high, literally, literally taking the grass from its own roots!" "Now you've got your condemnation..." "Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up!" "Have we had a national fucking stroke or what?" "Is revolution a word or was it never?" "Anybody watching needs to know, we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth." "Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester and they charge us for water!" "I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found." "This green and pleasant land in ancient times, yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak!" "It's not theirs any more." "This is our England now." "My family's everything to me." "They are me." "I made them." "Made them strong and resilient." "It's a mother's duty to prepare kids for the harsh realities of life." "I mean, it's not easy, is it?" "Taught them from day one, it's family first." "I'll stick this up your fucking arse." "To look out for each other, watch each other's backs." "Cos as we all know, blood's thicker than water." "I doubt you'd find it." "You missed every other fucking hole." "And you know what?" "They're a credit to me." "Shut up, Micky!" "Mum!" "Fuck's sake!" "Shouldn't have got in the way, then, should you?" "!" "Shift, soft arse!" "Family is everything." "Family's the be-all and end-all." "The start and the finish." "Family is king." "Even when the King's long since departed, family lives on." "And the hard fist that keeps you in line." "I've had to leave it parked round there." "You'll have to sort this with the brewery." "I ain't got that kind of cash on me." "Been fine to park here for years." "Who the fuck's clamped it?" "Comes to something when you can't get a tit roll without your vehicle being impounded." "That wasn't tackling, you were trying to put me in hospital." "You saw it, Mark." "Went in heavier than a fuckin' prop forward." "It's footy, not rugby." "Stop whining, you losers." "Defend yourself." "Should've given the bastard a slap." "It's a game." "A game with rules." "Forget them and you're fucked." "We're all fucked." "Get real, will you, Jackson." "The world's full of no marks like him, waiting to take what's yours." "Don't get me wrong, try it again in the replay and I'll have you." "You reckon?" "Anyone can make a mistake, but do it again and I'll eat you alive." "That's more like it." "You know it." "Quick scoop before you head off?" "Too right." "Ches!" "Nah, mate, got an early start." "Jackson..." "better luck next time, lad." "Surprised you asked him." "Why?" "His lot don't drink, do they?" "Well, at least there's one name." "I think it's one name." "Conchita Maria Teresa Bonnita Ricardo Martinez." "No, that's me." "Just wanted to get the ball rolling." "I thought you were doing a course on wiping babies arses." "Doing drama, contemporary dance and needlecraft now." "Needlecraft?" "Got to put a variety show on." "The best act gets to perform in front of a Royal." "So long as it's not Edward, or that ginger one." "Or Charles." "Or Willy." "The one with the teeth and the horses." "Or the old Greek one." "Or the other ginger one." "I just want to win it." "All that lot think I'm a right retard." "The Student's Union only thought I was there as part of a mental health awareness week." "Am I the only one serving here?" "Yeah." "Cheeky fuckers." "You got showbiz running through your veins." "Got a lot of stuff running through his veins, Mimi," "I don't know if any of it's showbiz." "My brother, his Uncle Robert, toured the clubs as a magician, and worked the liners too." "Uncle Bobbi, yeah..." "Robert." "I remember him saying cruising was his life." "In the magic ring and all that." "Circle." "How come I've never met him?" "I got married, moved away and he had his career..." "Showbiz pals." "I loved the bones of him but we moved in different worlds." "He was globe-trotting and I was rearing a family." "You should get in touch." "You should get in touch." "Do you think I haven't tried?" "With ya now, love." "Ha-ha-ha-ha." "Crack." "Jesus, what charity is it this time?" "You serious?" "BAP." "Tit?" "BAP." "Tit?" "BAP." "BAP." "British Alliance Party." "Raffle tickets for their social club." "Wouldn't thought you'd fit their demograph." "And why would that be?" "On account of you being black, black, black, black and black." "That's not what they're about." "Compulsory repatriation, a complete ban on immigration, and laws discriminating against gays and women." "What else could they be about?" "Whatever." "See ya." "Jamie's doing his nut." "You shouldn't have clamped him." "Bastards." "Err, WE shouldn't've clamped him, Micky." "That's me, you and Manchester Clamping Solutions." "He won't pay up, will he?" "You know what he's like." "Who gives a shit?" "I do." "I put money into it, I've got a say." "No, you haven't." "You're a silent partner." "Now shut the fuck up." "It'll kick off." "For fuck's sake, stop whining, will ya?" "I'll take it off, all right." "Why do you and Jamie always have to have a pop at each other?" "Why can't you just get on?" "You're brothers, for fuck sake." "Nothing more than a biological accident, Micky." "If I hadn't been the fastest swimmer or Dad decided to have one off the wrist instead of impregnating Mam, we wouldn't even be having this conversation." "Look, Jamie is a cunt." "A prize cunt who thinks and cares about no-one other than himself." "Believe." "Fuck's sake!" "Fucking amateurs." "Won't they charge you more?" "You'll be destroying their property and them clamps aren't cheap." "It's a scam." "You get yourself a phoney license, stick a few photocopied signs up." "You're wrong there, Jamie..." "They're subcontracted and endorsed by Manchester Clamping Solutions and are operating according to local by-laws and governmental legislations." "How the fuck would you know?" "I heard it somewhere." "Why don't you go back in the pub, I'll handle this." "You?" "You don't want to mess with these guys, Jamie." "I've seen them." "You've seen them?" "What do they look like?" "About that big." "Chinese." "Triads." "Hard fuckers." "Micky, do me a favour, will ya?" "Look, this is too dangerous." "We can't afford to lose you." "I'll handle it, you go back in there." "You'll make Connor an orphan, the poor kid will grow up not knowing his dad." "I'll talk about you, obviously, and keep your memory alive, but..." "Micky, will you fuck off?" "!" "Oi, the fuck you doing?" "It's all right, I'm on it." "That's my property." "You?" "Thought you said it belonged to a Chinese dwarf?" "No, it's my new business." "It's all sorted now." "No harm done." "You're parked illegally, you've damaged a clamp." "That'll be 70 quid." "In your dreams." "Pay the fine, or I'll just keep putting it on." "And I'll just keep cutting it off." "I'll pay it." "Keep your fucking nose out." "I won't tell you again." "Fuck do you think you are?" "He's your brother, you know, we're brothers!" "The guy who's about to reach down and rip out your fucking lungs." "That's enough!" "Oh, for fuck's sake." "Guess who won the raffle?" "Fix." "Heil Hitler." "What the fuck?" "What've you won?" "Dinner at the Meat and Two Veg restaurant." "In Burnley." "Fucking Burnley?" "!" "All home grown produce, British beef." "Ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome, Jackson?" "They're not brainwashing me." "It's sport, not politics." "They're decent people once you get to know them." "They used to say the same thing about Mengele, "He's not too bad" ""once you scratch the surface, get over that whole genocide thing."" "They just want us to look after ourselves." "Brits." "State the economy's in, charity begins at home." "We need to take care of our own before we can help anybody else." "He'll be invading Poland next." "How do you think?" "Karen, get him some water." "What are you up to?" "They're obliged by law to accept membership from all walks of life... black, Asian, gay, whatever - and I want to see if they will." "I want to see if they genuinely accept me or they're just paying lip service." "And what if they are?" "Then I expose the two-faced Fascist bastards for who they are and close 'em down." "Thought we were going to have to call an ambulance." "Do you want 'owt getting, mate?" "I bit me tongue." "How could you do this to your own?" "This wouldn't have happened if Shane hadn't have clamped the van." "Jamie should've paid up." "What's it got to do with you, little Hitler?" "We're business partners." "Business partners." "Your brother's sitting here concussed and you're still tearing at each other." "What's it going to take for you to grow the fuck up?" "!" "I'm ashamed to call you family!" "I recognise those dulcet tones." "Robert?" "You came." "Uncle Robert!" "Bobbi, with an I." "Like Liza." "Minnelli, that is, not Tarbuck." "No kiss for your little sis?" "Fuck me." "I'm sorry to hear about you and Paddy." "You hated the fuckin' sight of him." "Well, true enough." "Micky traced me down via my agent, said you'd been looking for me." "Said you'd been missing me." "I missed you too, you know." "Just one minute you were seeing that gobshite, next minute you were up the duff, married, then at the wrong end of the M62." "Whirlwind romance." "Shotgun wedding." "You know, I did try and keep in touch" "I did a few gigs here, years back." "Gave you a knock, but you were never in." "Meems!" "Shhh!" "Shhh!" "Did write." "I just thought you were dropping a hint." "So I took it." "You're my baby brother." "If only we had mobiles in them days, eh?" "E-mails.." "Well, we're here now, aren't we?" "Hepburn sisters, back together again at last." "I'll be Audrey, you can be the one with the voice like a man." "Robert, listen." "I hate to say this but..." "Bobbi." "Nobody's called me Robert in an age." "Bob..." "Bob..." "..Bi." "Bob..." "Bob..." "..Bi." "Bobbi, it might be an idea to tone down the whole showbiz angle while you're here." "Just cut the camp shit." "People round here like the women to be women and the men to be men." "Don't we all!" "No, I hear you." "I hear you." "Good." "Suitcase is at ours." "No brother of mine's staying in a scabby BB." "Micky's on the couch, you'll have his room." "(Did you change the sheets?" ")" "Yeah." "(Get rid of the wanky hankies?" ")" "Thanks, Micky love." "That's very kind of you." "You're family." "The only other uncles I've got are either dead or in, erm..." "Argentina." "I need to get back to work." "How about I take my favourite nephew for a proper drink, a real drink?" "C'mon." "Two days max and he's out of here." "Get that?" "Shane." "You kept that fucking quiet." "Yeah, when I was a kid, I always thought he was the magician not the fucking assistant." "What's the big deal?" "He looks like a woman." "Mam's sung his praises for years." "Why wouldn't she mention he was a tranny?" "It obviously doesn't matter to her." "They were dead happy to see each other." "He's the only family she's got besides you lot." "Don't spoil it." "What the fuck is that supposed to be?" "(PATTY) Transvestite." "A man who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary." "It takes balls to be a tranny." "And a penis." "I should know." "What big hands you've got!" "LAUGHTER" "Have I got cunt written on my forehead?" "No, Mimi." "Then don't treat me like one and the same goes for my sist... brother." "Spread the word." "Cheers." "8, please, guys." "Third cup replay we've lost on the trot." "We need to up the training regime... few less lagers and a few more 5k runs." "10k runs." "We'll put a programme together." "Still time to finish the season with a bit of dignity." "That's what I like - a bit of positivity." "A bit of delusion." "There you go." "Eh, lads, what do blondes say after sex?" "Thanks, guys." "LAUGHTER" "Lads, we're off for a bit of scran if you fancy it?" "We've got plans." "Where are you off?" "Chinky." "Prick!" "It's a joke." "Like the one you just laughed along with." "Come on, mate." "He's just having a bit of fun." "It's just a word." "Yeah, like Paki or nigger." "That never fails to have me pissing myself  laughing every time I hear it, eh, Jackson?" "Rolling on the floor." "Splitting my fuckin' sides." "Everyone knows he's in the wrong." "Shane's a dickhead." "You're smarter." "Just shrug it off for the sake of the family." "The bigger man walks away." "You know you're right." "We know you're right." "It's not like losing face." "It's another bit of hassle we could do without." "Please." "For me." "OK." "For you." "My little West End Wendy!" "Now, I don't wanna *** in ya, but you've got a show in a few days and you haven't got one fucking act." "So..." "Can I get everyone's attention, please?" "Now, anyone with an artistic flair that they don't mind showing - nothing pornographic... can sign up to perform in Micky's Variety Show." "This is your chance to show us... what you can do." "Oh, forgot to say." "Anyone who is participating, it's free ale all night." "What the fuck you doing?" "I can't shell out for this." "You don't have to." "Charge on the door." "You'll make your money back in no time." "Mum, sort this out, will you?" "Oh, Mimi, isn't he gorgeous when he's riled?" "If I wasn't his auntie..." "You all right?" "Why wouldn't I be?" "You don't look like someone who's found their long-lost brother, the one you said you worshipped." "I'm made up to see him." "So made up, you want him out the house in 24 hours?" "Drop it, eh?" "Leave it, Micky!" "Karen says she needs some more vodka, crisps and nuts from the cellar." "Gullibility obviously runs in the family." "Micky!" "Just sort it." "He reckons it's time me and you had a talk." "And I think he's right." "All the wives take their turn." "Ah, that is so considerate." "Thanks." "Otherwise it means one person ends up doing the whole lot, week after week." "Which wouldn't be right at all, would it?" "Oops." "Oh, for fuck's..." "I do yours out of some misplaced sense of obligation." "The SS can do their own." "They take turns cooking for each other too." "Fuck right off!" "It'll help me infiltrate the group!" "You're a trainee teacher, not a member of MI-bleeding-5." "No way." "Please." "No!" "If I stand any chance of bringing them down..." "And who put you in charge of social justice?" "Someone needs to make a stand." "And that someone is you?" "!" "Jackson, you can't even put a fucking shelf up!" "They're coming for dinner tonight." "DOOR CLOSES" "WATER TRICKLES" "What are you fucking doing?" "That vodka's gone right through me - I'm pissing like a shire horse." "Well, I don't want to see your dangly bits!" "Try standing up against the wall and doing it like a normal man!" "Normal?" "And what the fuck is normal?" "Certainly not you." "You have no idea what it's like to be me..." "You're not the only one with facial hair and haemorrhoids." "..how bad my life was when you pissed off!" "At least you had a life!" "All my life was spent coping with being your sister, while you were swanning round being Quentin fuckin' Crisp." "I had to deal with the fallout!" "Quentin fuckin' Crisp?" "!" "I'm not a gay man." "I'm a woman, OK, born with a cock." "Definition of a woman with a cock - man." "I feel like a woman inside!" "Oh, yeah?" "Well, I feel like bleeding' Pamela Anderson inside, but not much chance of you seeing me in fuckin' Baywatch, is there?" "!" "I'm a woman!" "Cock!" "Woman!" "Woman!" "Cock!" "Woman!" "Woman!" "Cock, cock, cock." "Fighting your battles for you, defending you while you pranced round the streets in Ma's heels!" "You were a self-indulgent, spoilt little bastard!" "You've got no idea what I went through, the pain that I suffered and all that time you were laughing at me, Mimi!" "I was screaming for help." "I was begging for somebody to give me their hand and all that time you were laughing at me, taking the piss while I was drowning." "I was drowning." "Urgh!" "Your bollock's out." "It was like the Crying Game all over again, only in 3D." "Are you two OK now?" "If I'd have known." "If we'd have talked, your burden could've been lighter." "We could've gone on Trisha or that gobshite on Granada." "Talked things through, reached an understanding." "A resolution." "But from now on, my casa, su casa." "English, please." "It means her house is my house, love." "As long as you want to stay, you're welcome." "Such a lot to catch up on." "Come here, love." "And one more thing you need to know." "Jamie and Shane obviously aren't too comfortable having me around, so, er..." "I might as well say this here." "We had a homo in the footie team and they were cool with him." "I mean, apart from touching him during a tackle." "Or bending down for the ball." "Or him kissing them if they scored." "And the showers." "And well, having him on the team but..." "Erm..." "I've rehearsed this a million times and I've never got it right, so, er, forgive my, er, bluntness." "Robert Hepburn's...days on earth...are numbered." "It's the AIDS, isn't it?" "It's God's judgement." "You've been smitten." "I fucking knew it!" "Oh, sweet Jesus, I could be next!" "Mimi..." "I told your dad more than once - it's not in God's plan." "Mimi, love..." "If he'd had meant us to do it like that he'd've made it easier to get it in!" "Mimi!" "It's not fucking AIDS, OK, it's not AIDS!" "I've been living as a woman for years." "With a woman?" "As." "Undergoing psychiatric evaluation, hormone therapy." "And now I'm just waiting to get the nod." "Come on, I've always said that me John Thomas gets in the way." "Well, pretty soon it won't." "John Thomas?" "Snip!" "Ooh!" "They're here!" "You're fucking kidding!" "One word out of place and I will rip their heads off and shit down their necks." "All right?" "Come in." "You must be Avril." "I hope you like white." "I like most whites." "Thanks for coming, mate." "Our pleasure." "Welcome." "This is Ellen." "Hiya." "Jackson." "Coats." "Go on through." "Two GT's, please, Micky." "The Scouse transvestite." "Hardly convincing." "Why's that?" "The wrong shade of orange for a start." "Dina wants to audition for the talent night." "Hardly talent." "Even I can do that." "She's got a grip like a python." "The punters call her the penis fly trap." "The things she can't do with her libia..." "Anyone can smoke a cigar." "What..." "like that?" "Admittedly, not." "No, no, but I'm going to fucking learn one day." "Right, Micky, get her third on the bill, behind that deaf kid that did the yodelling, you know..." "Audience is going to need perking up after that, I think." "And, er, me and Bobbi'll be rehearsing a little special something too, won't we?" "Mm-hm, sister act." "Shane's clamping anything with wheels." "I'm worried for my mobility." "They've only clamped the bloody pram!" "Bastards!" "My punters are too scared to park." "How are the acts going to get their gear in here, Micky?" "Where are your tutors expected to park their cars?" "What've you done to Shane?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "He's not answering his phone." "Well, maybe he's tied up." "You've done something." "Where is he?" "Bastaaaard!" "Fucking kill you!" "Whoa!" "You said you'd back off!" "What is going on?" "I'm just showing our Shane what an inconvenience it is when you're clamped." "He's not worth it." "Pack it in!" "You said you'd walk!" "You'd do best to remember who pays your wages." "Yeah, time for you to nail your colours, Micky." "He's in on the business." "Silent partner." "You work for me or you work for him." "Not both." "It's time to choose." "Smells fantastic, don't you think, Ellen?" "Mmm." "It's an old family recipe." "Braised crocodile cheeks in an apricot and prickly pear sauce." "It's a delicacy where my family come from." "Just pulling your leg." "Creole Chicken." "Really nice of you to invite us." "That's entirely down to Jackson." "I wouldn't normally piss on a member of the BAP if he were on fire." "We've got a bad reputation." "Something we're working on." "How, exactly?" "Well, we're opening doors." "If you're British born and bred, you're welcome." "But we all know that's to fit in with a legal requirement." "You wouldn't do it if you didn't have to." "Eat." "Avril's every right to be suspicious." "Country's gone to the dogs." "Agreed?" "We're all getting ready for that spring, summer, autumn and winter of discontent." "So your party isn't waging a war against race any more." "It's a class war now." "The country's being run by a gang of public schoolboys who don't know the meaning of doing without." "A millionaire boys' club, who've got the temerity to tell us to tighten our belts while they're heading off to their holiday homes in Barbados." "So it's equality you're after?" "We're after British people being treated fairly." "Put first." "We've got a march this Saturday." "Lefties and students are onto it." "Some contacts of the police have told me they're going to meet us mob-handed." "You're cancelling, I hope?" "We've got a democratic right to our opinion." "The march is going ahead." "They won't be able to chant their usual racist insults at us." "Not once they've clocked our poster boy." "You up for it?" "Deffo." "You know as well as I do, that march will turn into a riot- and you'll be at the front of it." "It won't come to that." "If you're lucky enough not to end up in the morgue, you'll lose your job." "That won't happen." "Will you take your fucking head from up your arse and wake up to what it is you're getting involved in, Jackson!" "?" "Anyone accuses me of going along with what that lunatic's preaching and I remind them I was the one that leaked this." "What is it?" "A list of every BAP member registered to vote in the UK." "Where d'you get it?" "I get this to the papers before the march and I save a few heads being kicked." "He'll know it's you." "Not me." "I'll ask Chesney to do it." "Stop worrying." "Come here." "I've got it covered." "You nervous, Michael?" "You've every fucking right to be." "These are your two choices." "It's all down to you." "And over to the lovely Roberta for that last-minute reminder." "Thank you." "Eh, stop it, cheeky!" "OK, choose Jamie and you condemn Shane and Kelly to a life on the outside, with absolutely no back-up whatsoever from any Maguire." "Within weeks they'll be sleeping rough, forced to sell what little they do have, in order to survive!" "And choice B, please, Roberta." "Ooh, choice B, Shane." "By choosing him, you'll essentially be dismantling the family business, which means that you and Shane will not be able to work for the family, therefore rendering the family business, by definition, redundant!" "Do remember, though, Michael, choice B carries the hidden bonus of a return for your ma to the Holy Land!" "That's right." "Mum will get an all-expenses paid, one-way trip all the way back to the banks of the Mersey!" "Michael, it's time to..." "Make your choice!" "Choose!" "Choose!" "Choose!" "Choose!" "Choose!" "Choose!" "Choose!" "Choose!" "It's time, Micky." "We need a decision." "Not yet." "Do it now." "I can't!" "You're going to have to." "I need more time." "Well, you haven't got it." "But I need an extension." "Look, there's too much to consider at such short notice." "You know what I'm like." "It takes me half an hour to decide which side of bed to get out of in the morning!" "There's only one side you can get out, you daft twat." "Your bed's against a wall." "It was a metaphor!" "Cornflakes, Weetabix, Coco Pops." "Black socks, white socks, sports socks, boxers, Y-fronts, G-string!" "There's too many decisions to make as it is!" "Micky, what colour do you want these?" "How the fuck should I know, you s...!" "Sorry, Karen." "Two soft whites, please." "Is it true, then?" "You're just waiting for the snip?" "Oh, jungle drums been banging, have they?" "What do you do with it while you're waiting?" "I mean, where do you put it?" "Well, let me get the drinks in and then" "I'll tell you all you need to know." "Mimi, love, can I get a GT and whatever my new best mates are having?" "These are on me, love." "Aw." "You know, I was always the one with the talent." "And the looks." "People used to say to me I was more of a woman than she could ever be." "They did!" "No, they did!" "Spag bol all right for you, Bobbi?" "You know me." "Love a bit of spick." "Are my slacks ready yet, Meems?" "Oh, upstairs." "I'll just give them a quick once-over with the iron." "You know, we're not that different, me and you." "No?" "No." "You mean apart from you being a two-faced shit and slagging off me mam behind her back?" "It's grown teeth." "She's me mam." "She's my sister." "I'll tell her." "No, you won't." "You know as well as I do, if you let her know that I really think she's a fat, fucking ugly, embarrassing waste of space, it'd break her heart." "Don't." "Leaving me alone in Liverpool was the best favour she ever did." "The only reason I'm here is cos I've nowhere else to go." "Are you going to tell her that as well?" "No." "You haven't got the balls, Micky." "Why don't you wait a few weeks?" "You can have mine." "I'll tell her." "Meems!" "Micky's got something he'd like to say." "No, I was just saying," "I'm really looking forward to your duet with Uncle Robert." "Steal the show." "It's Bobbi." "It's fucking Robert." "All right, Frank?" "I'm so high, I don't wanna come down, Jimi." "See you on the flip side." "CROWD CHEER" "Wanker." "Was hoping you'd be in." "Get in the car." "Some fucker robbed the membership list." "We've got a lot of support up on high but people'll be terrified to back us if this gets out." "If it gets out?" "I always keep this memory stick on me." "Mate of mine's a journo at the paper that got contacted." "He dialled 1471, got the number, we did a bit of research." "Found out who it was." "Go on." "That little Paki bastard you know." "Chesney?" "Listen" " Ches isn't politically minded, not in that sense." "He went through my stuff in the changing rooms while we played footy." "So what will you do, give him a hiding?" "Gonna make an example of him." "What do you mean, an example?" "A couple of the lads are on their way over, tooled up." "We're gonna have a few cocktails." "Cocktails?" "Always have a few drinks at a barbie, don't you?" "Mimi, same again." "Yeah, OK." "It can't have been easy growing up knowing what you knew." "That you were trapped." "I can't imagine what that must feel like." "I can." "Well, everyone's got their burden." "How come it's taken this long?" "Having his cock cut off?" "Didn't have the confidence, or the backing of me family either." "It can't have been easy news for your mother and father to absorb." "When Rodney said he was a philatelist, I couldn't get out of bed for a month." "You expect that from the older generation." "But the one place" "I expected just a little bit of support was from my own sister." "And it never came." "I tried to end it all a few times." "A scream for help that was never answered." "Abandoned at 16, mam and dad dead." "With the burden of a penis you never wanted." "When I had my appendix out, they gave me it in a jar." "Are you thinking..." "No." "Here you go, girls." "Run off my feet here." "Everything all right?" "Fine." "We need to get some bread rolls, mayo, cans of tuna, cans of ham." "We can rustle up a decent buffet between us." "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping." "I'll get a few bob out of petty cash." "Will you go for it?" "What, in these heels?" "Well, I'd rather have ham." "I'll put cheese on a bit..." "Bastards!" "Come here!" "I know your dad!" "Yeah?" "Well, I fuckin' don't!" "Dickhead." "Least we know he's in." "Soon as the lads arrive, we're on." "Time for you to prove yourself." "We're shaping history, Jackson." "You should be proud." "It'll be fine, son, the show." "It's gonna be great, I can feel it." "You reckon?" "The whole estate's buzzing." "Gonna be one to remember." "Proud of you." "Yeah?" "Well, not everyone could organise a night like this." "Takes a lot of dedication and skill." "And don't forget, there's a little of Bobbi's" "DNA running through them veins." "Decision time." "Time to make your choice, Micky." "I can't, I need a slash!" "Fuck's sake." "Straight in, straight out." "We've got plans to make." "We've got plans to make." "'We need some bread rolls.'" "'Will you go for it?" "'" "'What, in these heels?" "'" "You can work this to your advantage, soft arse." "All you've ever done is give to those bastards and what have they given you in return?" "Their respect?" "Their love?" "Fuck off, they love me." "They've got a fucked-up way of showing it." "But it's hardly surprising with the parenting that you've had." "50-50." "Come on." "Come away with me." "Sun all year round, sandy beaches and all the cock you could handle." "Come on." "Jamie!" "Shane!" "They're gonna shit on you for the rest of your life if you let them." "Bang on time." "You know the drill, boys." "Soon as it's alight, chuck the can into the flames and walk." "No." "Everything I've worked for, everything I've built up over the past ten years has been fucked over by that little bastard, and he's gonna pay." "Get your fucking bala on." "Mark, Mark, Mark, please!" "I'll do anything." "Stand up for your rights, Jackson." "That's all I'm asking you to do!" "Get out!" "Everyone out!" "Get out!" "What's going on?" "Fuck!" "Piss off, love." "I've got your back, Jimi!" "Cheers, Frank." "Bastard!" "It was me who copied your membership list." "If I see you again, or have any trouble from you, it'll find its way to the national press." "You got that?" "Good." "And this is for Ches." "You robbed the takings from your own sister?" "Oh, what can I say?" "I'm sorry." "I'm still trying to get my head round this." "From your own flesh and blood?" "Oh, cut the bullshit, please, will ya, girl?" "Flesh and blood?" "We never even fucking liked each other." "We misunderstood each other." "We were young, immature." "Mimi, can I just set the record straight here?" "You've said often enough I was never the brother that you wanted." "Well, here's the funny thing, you were never the fucking sister I wanted." "Watch your fucking mouth." "Think I'm frightened of you?" "You think cos I dress like this," "I can't handle myself?" "Back the fuck off, pretty boy." "Leave it, Jamie." "Your ma said she used to be embarrassed of me." "Well, it was nothing to what I felt when I'd see her waddling down the street with her fucking bubble perm and her fucking shellsuits." "More of a woman than you'll ever be, though." "That's debatable." "There wasn't one ounce of femininity about you when we were being dragged up." "When I got up in the morning, it was to get the house ready and you to school." "Then I nursed my ma till she died, then I helped my dad deal with the grief." "When was I supposed to find time to paint my nails and do my hair?" "Oh, the trials of St Mimi." "Be careful, the stigmata will start playing up." "Watch your mouth!" "If you want fucking knocking out by a pre-op, Shane, you just go for it." "Leave us, the three of ya." "What will it cost to go from pole to hole?" "You mean to complete my dream?" "Give me the life I should have had, but never did?" "Give me the start I should have had?" "Priceless." "Bye, Bobbi." "You let Bobbi go?" "With the cash?" "Why?" "Cos he's my brother." "Sort of." "And that's what you do." "And any more talk of choosing sides, and Bobbi won't be the only one getting his cock cut off." "Comprende?" "She might have a point." "Yeah." "But you're fucking barred." "Listen, listen." "Right, if anything goes wrong, improvise, yeah?" "The audience won't give a fuck, they'll be pissed anyway." "Let's get that royal seal of approval!" "And remember, there's no "I" in showbiz." "Yeah, there is." "Ready?" "Go break your legs!" "Someone get that pin off her, for fuck's sake." "♪ One can go out to a movie, looking for a special treat" "♪ Yeah, one can take a walk in the moonlight" "♪ Thinking that it's really nice" "♪ Oh, but two walking hand in hand" "♪It's like adding just a pinch of s... ♪ Oh, it takes two, baby" "♪ It takes two, baby" "♪ Me and you.... ♪" "'Face facts." "'No family's perfect.'" "'Might appear to be on the surface, but open it up 'and you find all the shit no-one wants to acknowledge even exists." "'You've got to take your head out of the sand in the end." "'All families are fucked." "'Ignore that advice at your peril.'" "Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?" "Jamie!" "You're losing Libby." "We sit outside his house and talk, sometimes for hours." "That turned your nipples so hard, you could have my eyes out." "Licky-lick equals win-win." "Ravage me with your tongue, you dirty savage!" "Leave tonight." "Don't ever come back." "I don't want to marry you, Frank."