"Okay, now stepping up to the plate for her very first at bat..." "[IMITATES LOUDSPEAKER ECHOING] ...Michelle "The Babe" Tanner...." "[IMITATES CROWD CHEERING]" "Thank you very much." "[IN NORMAL VOICE] She steps up to the plate and digs in." "Swings...." "Whoa, it's a hit!" "Run to first base." "Whoa, she's headed for third." "And she's gonna be safe because she's fielding her own hit." "She's headed for first, she's headed for first." "She's turning a triple into a single." "You don't see that very often." "Oh, she's headed for second." "She's stealing second." "Head home, Michelle." "Head home." "She's really headed for home." "I'm home." "This game is way too easy." "What are you doing, Baby Ruth?" "Kiss and hug." "[SINGING INAUDIBLY]" "[SINGING MILLI VANILLI'S "BLAME IT ON THE RAIN"]" "[SINGING "RAIN, RAIN, GO AWAY"]" "Great news, people." "In case anyone wants to play with me I still have 20 minutes before dance class." "Can't you see that I'm doing our homework?" "You know, there's a country where they use little annoying kids for lunchmeat." "Then you'd better not go there, because you're full of baloney." "Steph, why don't you go down to the living room and run around the couch about a thousand times." "I'm getting the feeling I'm not wanted here." " Make it 2000 times." " Now I'm sure of it." "Listen to this." "Yeah, yeah." "Great news, people." "I have 18 minutes until dance class." "Who wants to play?" "We'd love to, sweetheart but we're coming up with things to talk about on tomorrow's show." "Talk about my day." "So far, it's been fascinating." "It all started when I heard the alarm clock and woke up." "You might wanna take notes." "And then I opened my eyes and right in the corner were those little eye crispies." " Steph...." " Could you just hold it for a second?" "Honey, just a second." "I know you tell great stories, and I love the way you put in every detail like the shoes that people are wearing or the color of the paint on the wall." "What happens is, even the simplest story just goes on and on and on and on." "Gee, I wonder where she gets that from." "Uncle Jesse, wait till you hear about my day." "I know, you told me." "Eye crispies, gross." "Oh, I haven't told Joey yet." "Perfect." "Joey loves a good eye-crispy story." "Becky, what do you say we have a nice, romantic evening tonight." "I'll come over to your place, cook up a little chicken à la Jesse." "I'm sorry, sweetie." "I can't make it." "I have a business dinner with Beau Mclntyre." " Beau Mc--?" "Who's Beau Mclntyre?" " Now, Jesse, calm down." "There's no reason to be jealous." "He's just a guest on tomorrow's show." "By the way, Jess, you gotta catch this guy." "He's amazing." "He's only 30 years old, he's an ex-quarterback, a neurosurgeon and he was just voted the Bay Area's most eligible bachelor." "You're not going." "Well, I guess my work here is done." "I really have to get back to the station." "Yeah, and I have to get ready for my business dinner." "The one you have no reason to be jealous of." "Jealous?" "Me?" "Come on." "The kid being jealous?" "I don't think so." "I'm not jealous." "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a long ride until this feeling of not being jealous passes." "I'm sitting in class, and the teacher says, "Today's lunch is macaroni surprise."" "So I raise my hand and say:" ""Excuse me, but when you say it's macaroni, you ruin the surprise."" "Steph, I love hearing your stories but you haven't said a word about my brand-new used car." " Nice." "Now, back to my day" " Wait, hold it." "Steph, this is a 1963 Rambler." "It's a classic." "It's in primo condition." "You know, people say it's wrong to love a car but I don't care what people say." "I love you, Rosie." "Oh, no." " What's wrong, Joey?" " Nick." "Okay." "What's wrong, Nick?" "No, there's a nick in the paint, Steph." "Look, I'm gonna go down to Sid  Jean's Auto Supplies and get a little bottle of touch-up paint." "Comet, you wanna go for a walk?" "[JOEY WHISTLES]" "Oh." "Well, I guess I'll take that for a yes, huh?" " I'll watch Rosie for you." " Thanks, Steph." "Okay, Comet." "Now, let's not say hello to every tree in the neighborhood, okay?" "Bye, Joey." "Hi, Rosie." "Better buckle up." "[IMITATES ENGINE RUMBLING]" "I need some driving music." "[CAR STARTS]" "Whoa." "Stay." "Stay." "Good car." "Good car." "Ah. "P, R, N, D."" "R must mean radio." "Whoa, Rosie, whoa." "Ah!" "I'm in the house, and I'm still in the car." "Oh, my...." "Oh, no." "Oh, no." "Oh, my." "What did I do?" "Please be a dream." "Please be a dream." "It's a nightmare." "Maybe no one will notice." " Hello, Michelle." " There's a car in the kitchen." "There is?" "Oh, there is." " Did you see how it got here?" " No." "Good." "I'm in the clear." "Until Joey gets home and tells Dad how he left me alone with the car." "Then I'm dead meat." "You got it, dude." "[SINGING PAULA ABDUL'S "STRAIGHT UP"]" "Hey." "I said, hey." "What do you want, squirt?" "Don't call me "squirt."" "May we help you, madam?" "There's a car in the kitchen." "Yeah, and there's a bus in the bathroom." "Good one, Deej." "Steph, why are you packing a bag?" "Well we're having a dress rehearsal at dance class and I needed something to rehearse dressing in." "[HORN HONKING]" "Uh-oh, gotta go." "That's my ride." "Bye, D.J. I'll always remember you." "Goodbye, Michelle." "Best of luck in everything you do." "See you, Gibbler." " New Kids on the Block." " No, the New Kids are" "TOGETHER:" "Whoa, baby!" " There's a car in the kitchen." " I told you so." "Michelle, do you know how Joey's car got in here?" "Yes, I do." " How?" " Through the window." "Girls, I'm home." "Listen, I" "Have mercy!" "There's a...." " There's...." " There's a car in the kitchen." "Thank you." "How did a car get in the kitchen?" "TOGETHER:" "Through the window." " Is everybody okay?" " Yeah, we're all fine." "DANNY:" "Hello." "But I don't think Dad is gonna be fine." "Well, all right." "We have to break this to him very gently, okay?" " Hey, where is everybody?" " In your new garage." "We'll be right back." "Stall Dad." "All right, come on, Michelle." "Come with me." "It'll be a lot harder for him to cry in front of you." "Hi, guys." "How's it going?" "Oh, fine." "We've had a bang-up day." "There's a car in the kitchen." "Michelle, you're so silly." "She's not that silly." "There's actually something I would like to show you in the kitchen." "Okay, I'm ready." "Send him in." "Oh, this is great." "I love surprises." " Let's see." "It's not Father's Day." " No." "Oh, I love this." "This must be one of those bonus "I love Dad" days." "I don't know." "[CAMERA CLICKS]" "Good face, Dad." "Is everybody all right?" "Where's Stephanie?" "We're all fine." "Stephanie's at dance class." "Look at this house." "Look at this kitchen." "Look at this mess." "I just waxed the floor." "Where is my best friend Joey?" "Dad, let me get one more picture of you." "This is a very serious matter." "That's okay, you don't have to smile." "[KNOCKING]" " Who is it?" "STEPH:" "Stephanie Judith Tanner." "Steph, what are you doing here?" "My carpool dropped me off." "I came to say goodbye." "Goodbye?" "Stephanie, come in here." " Where are you going?" " I'm moving to Mexico." "I'm going to start a new life as a Mexican hat dancer." "You're not allowed to cross the street how can you cross the border?" "I have no choice." "I'm a woman on the run." " Why?" " Because I can never go home again." "Steph, why can't you go home?" "I'm having a little problem." "Actually, it's more like a super-giganto, dinosaur-size problem." "Steph, come over here." "Sit down and tell me what happened." "It's too terrible." "I can't even say the words." "Stephanie, honey, you can tell me anything." "Okay." "I dr" "I dr" "I dr" "You dropped something?" "Did something break?" " What did you break?" " You name it, I broke it." "[KNOCKING]" "JESSE:" "Hey, Becky, it's me." " It's Uncle Jesse." "You gotta hide me." " Oh, but, Stephanie...." " Just don't tell him I'm here." "Please, please, please." " Becky." " Coming." "I heard voices." "Who were you talking to?" "Uh, nobody." "I'm a talk-show host and I was practicing talking." "You look beautiful." "Way too beautiful for a business dinner." "Oh, Jess, those are lovely roses." "Are they for me?" "Maybe." "Well, yeah." "I was gonna come over and apologize for acting jealous about that Mclntyre creep." "Well, look at this." "I'm doing it again." "I'm sorry." "Will you forgive me?" "Of course I forgive you." "This was very sweet." "Well, thanks for coming by." "I'll call you later and tell you all about my boring dinner." "Bye." " Whose suitcase is that?" " Uh...." "Well, it's not what you think." "Someone's in the closet, isn't there?" "Who is it?" " What closet?" " It's Mclntyre, isn't--?" "Mclntyre, come on out." "I got your business dinner right here." "Jess" " Jesse...." "Just as I suspected." "Nobody's in here." "Steph, what are you doing here?" "Just hanging around." "Come on down." "Let's go." "Steph has a super-giganto, dinosaur-size problem, Jess." "Oh, she does, huh?" "Then why don't you sit down over here and tell Uncle Jesse about it." "Okay." "I sort of drove Joey's car into the kitchen." "You're the one who drove Joey's--?" "Steph, you can't even drive." "You're telling me." "No wonder you're moving to Mexico." "Take it from a guy who's been in trouble a lot." "I know you're feeling scared and you feel like you gotta run, but, let me tell you the best way to solve this problem is to go home and face the music." "Was Dad really mad when he saw the kitchen?" "Well, you'll be able to see for yourself when D.J.'s pictures come back from the one-hour photo." "Come on." "Let's go." "Hey, Dad, it's almost dinner." "Do you want me to set the car?" "Sure, honey." "But use the good hubcaps." "[WHISTLING]" "You're in big trouble, mister." "Joey, are you okay?" "You had us worried sick." "Danny, I'm fine." "In that case, you're in big trouble, mister." "Look, I know I'm a little late, but you won't believe what happened." " I had this little nick in my car, right?" " You don't say." "And I went to buy some touch-up paint, and you'll never believe who I ran into." "Speaking of running into things, come with me into the kitchen." "Oh, are you upset because I took the last ice cube and didn't refill the tray?" "Something like that." "Wait, Dad." "Let me get in there first." "Danny, I'll go to the store, I'll buy some more ice." "Everything will be fine, okay?" "Don't worry about it." "My car!" "Rosie." "This is my punishment for not filling the ice-cube tray?" "Are you saying you didn't know about this?" "If I did, don't you think I would have bought a bigger jar of touch-up paint?" "Danny, when I left, Stephanie was watching my car." "What the heck happened?" "Well, here's someone who knows what the heck happened." "I was taking a make-believe drive through the country and I wanted to play the radio, so I turned the key and the next thing I knew, I was in the kitchen." "I should've never left those keys in the ignition." "It's not your fault, Joey." "I had no business being in your new car." "It was perfect." "Well, almost." "The radio didn't work." "Now he tells me." "Go ahead, Dad." "Yell, scream, punish me." "Or if you want, I'll just move to Mexico." "I want you to wait in your room until I can figure out what to do with you." "Come on, Steph." "Here, Deej, take your sister upstairs, make sure she doesn't skip the country." "My turn to drive the car." "You know the rules, Michelle." "Nobody gets to drive till they're 8 years old." "Rosie." "Don't cry." "Be a big boy." "Come on, Steph." "You just made a mistake." "But everything's gonna be all right." "D.J., I'd like to talk to Stephanie alone, please." "Sure, Dad." "Hang in there, Steph." "Go easy on her, Dad." "She's just a kid." "Stephanie, I am very disappointed in you." "How could you do this?" "You could've been hurt." "You could've hurt someone else." "What you did today is the stupidest thing you've ever done." "I know." "That's why I ran away." "And you know better than that, too, don't you?" "I know." "Everything I do is wrong." "I hate myself." "Steph, come out from under there." "I don't deserve fresh air." "How long do you intend to stay under that blanket?" "Till I get married." "You know, it could be very difficult to meet somebody under there." "I'll just stay in my room the rest of my life." "Well, I don't know about that but I do know that I'm gonna have to punish you." "Bigtime." "And I should never get any allowance or presents ever again." "And you should send me to carpenter school so I can build you a brand-new house that you can live in without me." "And you'd never have to hug or kiss me again." "Steph, there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop hugging and kissing you." "Nothing?" "Come here." "Look you have to know that no matter what you do wrong and no matter how angry I get, I am always gonna forgive you." " Because I love you." " How can you still love me?" "I wrecked Joey's car and I broke the house." "Steph, those are just things." "We can always buy a new car or we could put up a new wall but there's only one Stephanie Judith Tanner." "And you could never be replaced." "Gee, I never thought of that." "I think about it every day." "I love you, Dad." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH SDH]"