"I was born in a town on the outskirts of a big city." "The town was called "The Town"," "..and I didn't know the city's name until I turned 12." "Now it is not important." " Ran enough?" " Ough!" " You cut u" " Lag P the girl?" "They're quick.." "Why the fuck did you cut up that missus?" " La-la-la!" " Here, la-la!" "Yo, she really cut her up." "It wasn't just a drunk fight?" "What do your spooks, your people, what do they say?" "They say it was because of a man." "I don't have time for questioning." "What kind of man should it be." "She's all chopped up." "One of the eyes is out." " Fuck!" "What's with the hand?" " She broke all the windows in there." "You're so screwed now.." "Couldn't you just beat that missus, if the mister is so good?" " The baby's coming out." " Whoa!" "You're pregnant, too?" " Why'd you run then?" " The baby's coming out." "Look at us talking now!" " How many months?" " The baby's coming out." " Let's get her in the car." " Can't you see - she's full of shit." "I said get the car." "I was born in half an hour, together with my first ever pneumonia." "I could not be present in court, where I was supposed to be used.." "..As an extenuating circumstance." "That is why I saw my mother for the first time when I was seven years old." "Come!" "Goddamn it!" "You silly-head!" "Hop-hop-hop!" "Let's go, get us some food!" " What?" " Make the table." "Oh!" "I got you a present." "Here!" " What is this?" " You'll spin it on the table." " Like this?" " Later, later, later, later." "That's how I saw mother for the first time, and instantly fell in love." "She was beautiful, cheerful, and smelled like a dining car." "Then mother was telling grandma how she met uncle Kolya, and uncle Kolya was sleeping." "Picked him up on the train." "He's coming back from the North, after his shift." "This and that, and it looks like love." "Stayed in the dining car the whole time, after came out with me." ""I'm not going home, I'll stay with you" - he says." " I'll get a divorce, this and that." " If God willing." " He'll stay." "Get naked and it's a done deal." " If God willing." " He's got money." " If God willing." "He's got it, he's got it." "Look at that chain." "And he only drinks cognac." "Then mom and grandma took uncle Kolya to bed." "And then me, Mom, and uncle Kolya slept." "What?" " Gotta have some, Lucie." " "Lucie"?" "!" " And who?" " Boo-hew!" "What do you want?" " Gotta have some, it's awful, let's do it once." " You'll have to do without, for "Lucie"." " Oh come on." "Just once!" " Piss off!" "Just once, come on, just once!" "Come on..." "Here..." "That's it!" "That's it!" "That's it?" "Just made a mess." "Asshole!" "And then uncle Kolya woke up." "Hey." "HP-Y!" " Where am I?" " At our place." "Which city is it?" "Ho, Kolya is up!" "Want some milk?" "What bloody milk?" "Where's the bloody money?" " What money?" " My bloody money." " What money?" " Give back the fucking money." " What money?" " Money, you cow!" " Watch your language in front of the child!" " I'll show you fucking language!" "Give me back my money!" "Now, get dressed and vacate the premises!" "Superhero." "Money!" "Now!" " Mister, don't beat her, please!" " Go away!" " Don't touch the child!" " My money!" "Hey, you!" "Don't touch me!" " Hey, you!" " Where's the money?" "!" "" Hem 'you!" " Money!" "Is this blood?" "Am I fucking dying?" "Hey, asshole!" "Get up!" "He?" "asshole!" "Mom!" "Mom!" "Mom!" "What are you up to, asshole?" "Mom!" " What?" " He's dying, can't you see." " "Dying"?" "Last night he was fine." " Well look at this." " Ow, that's it." " What - "it"?" " That's it!" " Don't "that's it" here, asshole!" "Let's drag this asshole to the emergency." "That's it!" " Don't give me this shit!" " Let's drag him." "How?" "By the legs!" "Asshole!" ".." "Such asshole!" " Took him in..." " I got my suit in there." " Where?" " Get his suit." " And the briefcase." " Get the briefcase." "Is there anything of mine left?" "There was money, too." " What is this?" "Dying swan." "Get up!" " I can't." " Mom, get the ace." " Why the ace?" " We'll cut him into pieces." " What is this?" " Alive?" " Alive." "Going to be dead now, then." "Mom, get that ace!" "The ace, mom, the ace!" "He's getting away!" "He's running off!" "The ace, mom!" "That's how uncle Kolya stopped being my father." "Quickly and with no extra fuss." "He left behind only the spot on the floor, which grandma removed using a rag." "Although after uncle Kolya there was uncle Slava." " Why are you doing this with the towel?" " So it doesn't hurt your mom." "After uncle Slava there was a fat uncle Tolya." "Take your gown!" "After that there was uncle Igor." "Then there were more uncles." "And after that mother started showing up at homeless and less." "She came in a car and brought us fudge candy and raisins." "Sometimes condensed milk, too." "It happened about twice a week, but I waited every night." "I sat at a window and pressed the button on the desk lamp, so mother would see that I'm awake." "That I'm waiting." "Sometimes the signal didn't work." "And sometimes it did." " What were you doing?" " Waiting for you, what." " What, the whole time?" " I also ate porridge." ""Ate porridge"." "Let's get inside." " Will you stay?" " Of course." "And the car could even leave now." "Go, go, what are you standing there for?" " It will leave now." " It should leave." " It will, it will." "You want some condensed milk?" " Only with you." "Leave now, can't you hear." "Or else..." "See that?" "Leave." " Look what I can do." " I see, I see." "So, will you distract her?" "It's time to go, he doesn't like to wait." " Why don't you stay?" " That's it, I'm telling you." "Well, go then." " Where are you going again?" " To the bathroom." " She's going to the bathroom." " I'll go with you." "Sit still." "Here, eat the chocolate bar." " That's not even a chocolate bar." " Nothing's chocolate to you." "Sit I say." "What do you mean - not a chocolate bar." "Of course it's a chocolate bar." " Not a chocolate bar." " Yes it is!" "You're a chocolate bar." "Sit still, you silly-head!" "Sit still, I say!" "Then grandma came and took me home." "Home, where there was nothing except fudge candy, condensed milk, grandma and the lamp, whose clicks kept sounding in my head." "And one day I didn't want to wait any more." " Are you sick?" " No." " What were you doing?" " Ate porridge." " That's it?" " That's it." "I got you a hedgehog." "Look." "I'll leave him in the room." "Let him run around." "I don't need no hedgehog." "I don't need no hedgehog." "I don't need no hedgehog." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even!" "Don't need no hedgehog, even!" "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "Don't need no hedgehog, even." "What'd you do to my hedgehog, what'd you do to my hedgehog!" "You fool, you fool!" "Take this, take this!" "Take this, take this!" " What's this?" " You're the mother?" " Last name!" " Whose?" " Yours!" "Peanuts?" " No." " So what is it?" " Was I the one who brought her here?" " And who?" " I don't know.." "People." " Which people?" "Last name!" " Whose?" " People's!" " How do I know?" "Did I ask?" " Find out." " How?" "People are people." "However you want, got it?" "I'll come here tomorrow, if you don't find out - you'll see what happens, you got it?" "Let's go." " And what if she was run over by a train?" " Not your business!" "Let's go!" "Are you bloody mad?" "You've gone completely bollocks!" "Get off of me you two!" "I'm young, fuck!" "I want to live, fuck!" "To live, fuck, to live, to live!" "Fuck!" "That day me and grandma went down to the amusement park in the city." "And in the evening, when we got back, mother was home." "Is it you?" "Another one kicked her out." "Who's going to deal with a crazy one like that." " Where you going?" " No need to come here at all any more." "None of your business." " What do you want?" " And no need to come here any more." " None of you business, got it?" " Didn't get nothing." " Don't come here any more." " That's it, piss off." " I'll come over when I need to." " And I'll then get you with a stick, even." " You'll shit your pants." " And with a stone, too." "Yeah, go ahead." "Say that you won't come any more." "Say it now, can't you hear me." "Do it, do it, do it." "Do it.." "Do it!" "You're fucking out of your mind..." "What you looking at?" "Look, if you want." " Look!" " Don't want to." " Look anyway." "Look!" " What do you say?" " Don't know." "Nothing." " Don't know what?" " Nothing." " Why not something?" " Don't know." "What don't you know?" "And you know, you know..." "What do you have there?" " Where?" " In your hand." " Your wolfy." " Give it here." "You think I just gave it to you for no reason?" "No..." "You know, I once found something at the cemetery once, you know." "Yes..." "Was walking through the cemetery and found it." "It was in a sack." "I passed by - and saw it." "Someone threw it out - and I found it..." "Someone didn't need it, and I saw it." "I passed by - and saw it." "Yes..." "I look - there's a sack." "And what's in the sack?" ".." "What's in that sack?" ".." "I thought I'd take a look." "Thought I'd take a look..." "I approach..." "I approach..." "I undo it with a stick..." "Undo it like this..." "Open it up..." "And inside..." "And inside..." "And inside..." "I open it up with a stick..." "And inside..." "You!" "Yes..." "You're inside." "I found you in the cemetery, you know." "In a sack." "Right?" " Not true." " It is, you just don't remember." " Not true." " True." "And also..." "Also you were all covered in fur, like an animal." "Completely covered!" "I even got scared." "But didn't run away." "I took the sack home." "I show it to grandma, let's keep her." "So we yanked all the fur out and kept you." "And we kept you..." "Yes." "That's how it was." "Yanked all the fur out and kept you." "There was lots of fur." "Even of the face." "Because you were a little wolf." "You think I gave you that peg-top as a present for nothing?" "Nothing is for nothing." " Don't believe me?" " No." "Well, then, story time is over." "Go sleep." "I don't know why mother told me this story about the sack in the cemetery." "I don't even know if she really did tell it to me, ...or I just dreamt it up." "Only the next day I woke up absolutely sure that everything happened exactly that way." "And I went to the cemetery." "I wanted to find something there." "I don't know what, exactly." "Perhaps myself." "I started going there almost every day." "I ate cookies and candy left by the graves," "I looked at photos of dead people, ...I sang to them." "And they listened." "And sometimes I observed newcomers arrive." "I liked seeing women in black cry." "I liked hearing the soil fall into the grave." "And I liked coming to the grave after everyone was gone." "What's your name?" "And why did you drown?" "You really can't swim?" "I also can't swim, I think." "I could even drown." "Does it hurt - to be drowning?" "You want to bet that a tooth hurts more than drowning?" "Can I fix up your flowers?" "But then I'll eat a candy, OK?" "Also I can sing." "Loudly." "Like a stereo." "I can." "But not right now." "Because I'm eating a candy." "That's it, done." "Should I sing?" "I say - should I sing?" "I ate the candy already." "So I sing?" "All right." "I'm singing already, singing." "That's it, done." "All right, I'll be going then, OK?" "I'm going already." "Going." "Going." "Here, that's for you, so you have more." "Thank you." "And so I had a new friend." "I visited him every day." "I shared candy with him, I changed his flowers, I sang to him, ...I was giving him presents, I even built him a fence." "I guarded him." "Here, now no one will even come in." "Such impudence..." "No one even allowed this." "They just broke everything." "Stole all the presents and candy, impudent people." "Here they are somehow." "They didn't steal it looks like." "Still, no one is allowed to touch at all, even." "They still broke the fence." "Where's the little wallet?" "The little wallet is gone." "They stole the little wallet, impudent people." "Sometimes I told him about myself." "And about mother." "My mom actually brings me all kind of stuff." "Even a wolf." "Not a wolf - a wolfy." "Here, look." "Look here." "Look." "I told him and told him, told him about my made-up happiness, ...about my wonderful childhood." "Told him about everything that was missing from my life." "And he believed it all, and I wasn't ashamed, ...because I also believed it." "Believed that mother is in charge of a store, that we have a real carousel at home, hedgehogs, parrots, many TVs and a typewriter." "I believed that I'd flown on a real airplane and had sailed on a real steamboat with mother." "But most importantly - that mother loves me." "Loves me, loves me, loves me." "And I was so thankful to this quiet listener for the happiness he was giving me, ...that I even wanted to kiss him." "Or maybe I even did kiss." "I don't remember." "I can even do this." "Here." "Fool." "Our friendship could have gone on for a long time ...and become something more ...if one day the cemetery itself become something that takes away." "So?" " Have you gone to that cemetery enough?" " I didn't go." " Come on, enough getting on her case." " Piss off, I didn't ask you." " So?" "Did you go?" " No." " And who brought me the dead one?" " A car." " What car..." " I don't know." "Other, big brown car." "And who's been going to the cemetery?" "A car?" "I don't know." " Enough, it's disgusting." " So don't listen." " All right." "Come, touch you grandma's foot." " She already held it, what more do you want." "I don't know nothing, let her hold it again." "God forbid she'll be wetting herself later." "You've always been mad, and you still are." "Nothing teaches her." "Come on, look at her as well." " You see?" " Yes." " What do you see?" " Don't know, grandma." "Aha, and I see grandpa." "Look at what you've done to her." " It wasn't me." " And who?" "Me?" " Why the hell did you go to the cemetery?" " Because there's a boy there." " What boy?" " A friend." " A dead boy?" " No." "He's got a photo and a cross there." " Dumbass." "That's called a dead man." " No." "Of course he is." "So he took your grandma then." " No." " Yes!" " No." " And I said yes." "Yes!" "Because you can't go see strangers' dead people." "Now go ask him to give your grandma back." "Of course he didn't give anything back." "But after grandma's funeral mother got sick." "And I started thinking that he could take her away as well." "Look at us." "That's how we do it." "Got it?" "Look at us, so handy around the house." "I can't believe it." "Maybe you want to wash mother's twat as well?" "Here, wash Mommy's twat." "Wash it, come on." "What are you?" ".." "What do you want?" "What?" "They took my Mommy!" "MY Mommy!" "My Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy, Mommy, a-a-a!" "Bastards, bastards, bastards!" "In an hour mother was taken to a hospital." "And I was, too." "Then I lived at mom's sister's house." " Come eat." " And where's mom?" "How do I know?" "She checked out a while ago, and she hasn't shown up." " We'll go see her tomorrow." " Tomorrow?" "Tomorrow, tomorrow." "Let's eat." "Oh." "What a surprise." " What the hell are you doing?" " What?" " Nothing." " What?" " What?" " Nothing!" "Got rid of the kid and is living it up!" "You think I'm the babysitter?" "Here, see this?" "It's your kid - you take care of her!" "Just look at her!" "Doesn't even think of showing up!" "You want some sweet life?" "Not going to work!" " Yes it will." " No it won't!" " Package delivered, sign here please!" " Done, now what?" " That's it!" "Now." " That's it." " Completely shameless." " Yes I am." " Why, aren't you?" " Yes, shameless, that's what I'm saying." "There." "No good screwing around." "They're going to have you on so hard you won't be able to sit down." "Probably never." " Finished?" "Now get up and get the fuck out!" " I'll leave when I'm ready." "Now is the time." " Not your business!" " And I said - out, on the count of three!" " And I said - not your business!" " Oh yeah?" " Yeah." " Yeah?" "Yeah." " What are you doing?" "!" " I also know how break bottles on heads." "Want me to demonstrate?" "One." "Two." "Completely mad, just as you've always been." " I'm selling the apartment and going South." " You can go wherever you want." "There's already a buyer!" "Go to sleep." "I said go to bed." "You don't get it?" "You forgot what I can do?" "Want me to show you?" "Here!" "What you want?" "Fun times..." "Fun..." "That's it, I'm sick of this." "Get up." "Get up!" "Huh?" "I said move over." "And then the place got sold and we went to the South." "What you looking at?" "Get your stuff together." "Put it right here." "We're going South." " Seriously?" "South?" " Seriously, seriously." "The taxi will come soon." "If you're not packed - you're not going anywhere." "So..." "So-so-so..." "So-so-so..." "Anyways, here's the deal." "So." "Listen, why are you clung to me?" "What do you want from me, huh?" " Here." "Someone talks to you - show this." "Got it?" " Yes." " And don't get off your bale, it'll get stolen, OK?" " OK." "I'll buy the tickets and off we go." "Quiet, bitch." "Don't lose the paper." "We looked everywhere." "We declared her missing, ...we inquired in prisons, hospitals, morgues." "We went South and showed her picture to people in different cities." "We put posters up everywhere." "We called, wrote, read, waited." "Nothing came of it." "And one day I heard my aunt telling her friend that it looks like mother is dead." "That she was probably killed or something like that." "But I didn't believe it." "I only believed that, ...as long as she's alive in my heart, she will be alive somewhere out there." "And I knew, I felt, that one day the doorbell will ring." " Who's there?" " Me." " Who - me?" " It's me." "May 1?" " Want tea?" " Sure." "Look what I have." "Little cakes." " You hungry?" " No." "You?" " Not really." " Well, later then." "I saw these." "Saw kettles like this one." " Expensive?" " What?" " The kettle." " No." " That's what I thought - couldn't be expensive." " Enough, all right?" "Why, what's up?" " Nothing!" "Do you know how many years it's been?" " And did you even ask what happened?" " What, you got abducted by Chechens?" "Yes I was." "Even tougher, if you should know." "I got into such a score, a really bad mess." " So there is god then." " Yeah, there is." "Now what?" "All right, fine." " Do you at least want to see your daughter?" " Ah, so she's here?" " Where else?" " M-m-m, well yeah." "I thought" " I'll catch a man there, and will be back to get her." "The extra luggage scares men off." "And afterward - here she is, and that's it." " But then it all started, it got bad." " You'll tell it later." "Go, she's in the room over there." "I heard mother and aunt calling me, first from the balcony, then out in front." "I didn't answer." "I was thinking." "Thinking about what would have happened if my unknown father had been the very man who mother was looking for all her life." "What would have been, if mother had met her own uncle Kolya or uncle Slava, even after all that's happened, ...what would have been if grandma hadn't died." "What would have been hate them now." "You know, they're just like dogs." "Not human!" "I would just take a chainsaw - and wroom!" "Oh, she's back." " She's big." " What did you expect?" "Well, come in, don't stand there." " So you go to school?" " Yes she does." "Good girl." "And I'm telling my sis what happened to me." "But she doesn't believe a thing." " I believe, I do." "Why not.." " No you don't." "All these questions, doubts." "Did you even know how many wogs did me at once one time?" "My ass is like a bucket now." "Want to see?" "Why are the feet dirty?" "Well, she's barefoot." "Let her go and wash them." "No service to people with dirty feet." " You were just like that when you came." " Don't want to hear of it." "Let her go wash." "Go wash up." "I was smoking and trying to remember:" "when have me and mother ever talked about anything?" "What were we talking with her about?" "And couldn't remember a thing." "We've never talked." "All our conversations were empty, pointless." "Or we just stayed silent." "I wanted to tell her so much, but couldn't." "Somehow..." "What are we going to talk now." "How will we live..." "Have you died or something?" "Let's go." "Well, tell her now, tell her." "That's it?" "I say: is that it?" "You're finished or what?" "Well, screw you then." "And why didn't you give me a kiss when you came in, didn't even give me a hug?" "That's it, is it?" " Go screw yourself, is that it?" " No." "No - what?" "I can leave if you're like that." " No." " Why do you keep 'no'-ing?" "we'll have a hug, kiss each other, this and that." "And she sits down and turns her face away." "Well, be that way." "You think I'll cry?" "There!" "Want a drink?" "No." " You know any other words?" " I do." "Listen..." "Did I ever tell you?" "You're so boring!" "Why are you this way?" " How?" " Pathetic!" " Don't know." " "Don't know"..." "Did you get laid while I was away?" " What?" " Bla-ott!" "Did anyone bang you?" "I got banged good." "Oh, I got banged." "I got enough." "Shit, even vodka's finished." " Well, tell me, then." " Tell what?" "How it was good without me." " It wasn't." " What - wasn't?" "It wasn't good." " And you want good?" " Don't know." " So what do you want?" " Don't know." "Ah, that's enough." "Hey!" "Hey." "Hey..." "Hey!" " Got money?" "We're out of booze." " In the purse." " I'll put something on, all right?" " Yeah." "That's it, not bothering you any more." " Don't go anywhere." " What?" " Don't go anywhere." " Where." "Why'dyoutakeeverything?" " Thlng!" " Let me, I'll go." " Go." " Get some sleep." " Eep!" " Please!" " Ease!" "Stay!" "Ay!" "Don't!" "Ont!" "Mom!" "Shit..."