"Grrr!" "Come on, these decorations aren't gonna hang themselves." "Oh, aren't they?" "They still didn't hang themselves." "Your machine did it." "Not cool, Tails." "Take those things down." "You're gonna attract bugs." "And aliens." "And kumquats." "And list jokes." "Come on, guys, lay off him." "Way to ruin New Year's, dude." "Is that the holiday where a giant rabbit breaks into your house and hides painted eggs?" "Knuckles, forget about your crazy holidays and help get this ball on top of that pole." "When it drops to the bottom, then it's exactly midnight and the start of the new year." "Don't trust her, Knuckles." "I told you about the kumquats." "(Gasps and grunts)" "You really "dropped the ball"." "(Laughs)" "Not cool?" " (Bouncing)" " Huh?" "(Laughs crazily)" "OK, Ball-bots, let's roll." "Ugh!" "Huh?" "Ugh!" " Urrgh!" " Agh!" "Oh, what's the use?" "The decorations look great, Tails." "And this'll make a great New Year's Eve ball." "Great... here it is, New Year's Eve and I haven't fulfilled my resolution from last year." "Was that the one to become a more benevolent master?" "I'll show you benevolent, you bag of bolts." "Clearly one of us doesn't know what benevolent means." "Two of us!" "All I wanted was to have one decisive victory over Sonic." "Just one." "I'm so miserable, I barely enjoyed smacking you." "It's sad when we no longer enjoy our hobbies." "Well, don't you worry, sir." "I've dreamed up a New Year's Eve party that'll really put the spring back in your step." "If you pull out a checkers board," "I'll sell you for scrap metal." "(Upbeat music)" "(All laughing)" "Why are you dressed like that?" "Isn't New Year's the holiday where you put on a costume and prank strangers who don't give you candy?" "That's not a holiday." "It's extortion." "I'm hearing a lot of words but I'm not seeing any candy, lady." "Soar the Eagle reporting live from Village Centre, where the New Year's festivities are in full swing." "People have come from far and wide... men, women, children, celebrities, politicians, some nut in a hot dog suit." "I think he's talking about me." "It would be hard to find anyone who's not having a great time." "I could jump you there." "Or there." "But then you could jump me there." "Or even there." "But... ooh..." "I can double-jump you there and..." "Grrr!" "This is the worst New Year's party ever." "Well, it is now." "Let's not forget dear old Orbot's famous mouth-watering slow-cooked New Year's roast." "It, too, is just a sad yet succulent reminder of how quickly everything else in life moves." "A slow-cooker is truly one of life's most poetic small kitchen appliances." "If only everything moved at the same pace as the marinating juices of my roast." "Then I'd have another chance to fulfil my New Year's resolution." "If I can just harness the technology of this slow cooker," "I can create a slow-motion machine." " And what would that do?" " Slow everything down." "Giving me more time before the end of the year to defeat Sonic." "There it is... the power source that makes a slow cooker cook slowly." "And I thought it was a mixture of patience, low heat and collected condensation." "Nope." "Glowing energy ball." "Welcome back to Comedy Chimp's New Year's Adequate Eve, sponsored by Meh Burger, home of the new ten-alarm super atomic chilli." "Ten-alarm?" "This thing's barely ketchup." "I mean, I'm sure it'll kick in eventually." "Let's see who's out celebrating." " How about you, sir?" "Excited?" " You bet!" "I hope the obese man watching me sleep doesn't think I'm naughty, or he might not sneak into my house and leave presents." "Right." "Oh, there's the Mayor." "Mr Mayor, a word?" "Uh, look, the allegations that I used the town's money to buy myself a vacation island are totally untrue." "I was gonna ask you to say a few words before the countdown." "Oh, well, in that case" "I just want to wish everyone a very happy New Year." "You're all welcome to visit me on my private vacation island." "I mean, if I ever get one, of course." "No more questions." "(Music and laughter)" "We're gonna slow this next one down... for the ladies." "Huh?" " (Panting)" " Sonic, my little friend." "And by friend I mean enemy." "Happy New Year!" "By happy I mean awful and by New Year I mean not yet New Year." " What's going on here, Egghead?" " Isn't it obvious?" "My slow-motion machine has slowed everything down." "Slow, of course, for you is just normal speed." "What about you?" "If you'd paid attention in evil scientist school to get your father's approval, you'd know that..." "Oh, can't we just skip ahead to the part where I destroy you?" "Let's go with a classic." "Laser beam!" "(Yawns)" "Nice try, Egghead." "Your father would be proud." "Robots, attack!" "(Distant buzzing)" "They'll be here in a minute, just hang on." "I can't wait around all day for your slow-bots." "All right." "Need a new plan." "Here's an idea." "I destroy your slow-motion machine and we call it a day?" "Brilliant plan, Sonic!" "Oh, wait, forgot to mention, if you do that, everyone and everything will be stuck in slow motion forever." "(Groans)" "Let's settle this with one final test of our abilities." "Just you and me." "One on one." "Mano a mano." "Peaches and cream." "If you win, maybe, just maybe," "I'll switch my machine off and return the world to its normal speed." "Did you just say "peaches and cream"?" "Quit stalling!" "(Slow humming)" " Bam!" "Game over!" " Grrr!" "That would have been more dramatic at normal speed." "Eggman, I won fair and square." "Shut off your machine." "Give me one more shot." "Woooargh!" "Ugh!" "Ha-ha!" "Oof!" "(Yawns)" "Ha-ha-ha!" "Bingo!" "Gin!" "Checkmate!" "I can't believe it's come down to this." "Man, I hate checkers." "Ugh!" "Grrr!" "Ugh!" "Grrr!" "(Slowly) Ten..." "Grrr!" "All I wanted was a chance to beat you at one thing." "Just once before the end of the year." "Is that too much for a villain to ask?" "You did all this just to notch some kind of victory over me?" "Maybe." "I guess I have been pretty dominant this year." "You guess?" "You guess?" "I made a New Year's resolution to beat you one time this year." "And here I am, ten seconds before midnight, and I can't even win a simple game of checkers." "(Slowly) Nine..." "Tell you what." "You've got a couple of seconds left." "In the spirit of the New Year, I challenge you to a dance-off." "A dance-off?" "What, are you making fun of me?" "Not cool, Sonic." "(Slowly) Eight..." "I'm serious." "The end of the year is a time for having crazy fun." "What's more fun than a dance-off?" "(Slowly) Seven..." " So, we gonna dance or what?" " Check this!" "(Beeping)" "(Electronic dance music)" " What?" " (Slowly) Six..." "All right, all right." "My turn." "(Electronic dance music)" "(Slowly) Five..." "Here goes nothing." "Aaargh!" " Oh." " (Slowly) Four..." "Looks like you won, Egghead." "I won!" "I beat Sonic!" "Ha-ha-ha!" "Hey, everybody!" " Oh, right." " (Beeping)" "Three, two, one!" "(All) Happy New Year!" "Ha-ha-ho-ho!" "Hey, everybody." "I beat Sonic." "Kneel before me." " What are you talking about?" " It was a dance-off and I won." "Didn't you see?" "It was right here." "Technically it happened in the blink of an eye." " Nobody saw anything." " What?" "But... but..." "Ohh!" "Well... nobody but me." "Happy New Year, Eggman." "Happy New Year, you blue son of a gun." "Hey, guys." "I just saw my shadow." "Six more weeks of winter!" "(Both laugh)"