"We begin the story on a dark and cold night night..." "In the middle of no where..." "out in the woods woods in those woods, an old man was experimenting in the dark arts dark arts... dark arts?" "yeah, witchcraft and stuff wait..." "I though a witch was a chick the old man would spend years by himself experimenting on corpses that he dug up at the local graveyard some say...!" "that he would begin to build an army of the undead to take over and rule the world the world... but something went terribly wrong... the corpses overwhelmed him and consumed his flesh" "dude... stop ruining the story sorry" "after killing their master they would wait for years for their next victim knock it off after having nowhere to go the corpses would return to the earth in which they came they would bury themselves in the ground in these very woods" "can you hear them?" "can you hear them underneath us right now?" "dude, stop with the lame moan!" "that wasn't me" "whatcha reading Ed?" "ahh it is 58.27 on the ecto wave length what is that a class five?" "no, barely a class four" "Let's book this ghost da-no!" "It's "let's book 'em, Danno!"" "you stupid commie where are you from, Fakestain?" "Move!" "Right there fella." "For you, the war is over." "Alright kids this is the part where you shield your eyes" "I'm closing the trap in three... two... one..." "How did you guys get here so fast?" "We were on the neighborhood when we picked up on this phantasm signal." "What's this?" "Give me that." "You ain't 21 are ya?" "um, ahehem... yeah dude" "Yeah right." "Pavel!" "nice!" "Ed looks like you're driving shouldn't you kids be at home studying?" "dude, it is Saturday you know, you really shouldn't drink alcohol" "Studies have shown that alcohol leads to a decrease in brain function." "drugs are bad too and... drunk driving and... abortion is..." "... well I don't really have an opinion on that who are you guys?" "We're the Ghostbusters." "RETURN OF THE GHOSTBUSTERS" "If there's something strange in your neighborhood" "Who ya gonna call?" "GHOSTBUSTERS" "If there's something weird and it don't look good" "Who ya gonna call?" "GHOSTBUSTERS" "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" "Who are you going to call indeed?" "the Denver Ghostbusters those paranormal eliminators who protect the safety of 'Joe Public'" "Ed Spengler, nephew of ghostbusting great Egon Spengler team leader, scientist and television star" "Pavel Karnov trained by the best after the fall of the iron curtain" "I like what I do" "Neil Anderson ladies man, and self proclaimed bad ass excuse me, are you guys worried that you're gonna put yourselves out of a job?" "out of a job?" "are you crazy man?" "as long as people keep dying there will always be ghosts what about the activists that are rallying around the rights of ghosts?" "look" "I am a real busy guy would you like an autograph or something?" "the Ghostbusters arrived in Denver three years ago, and defeated Freddy Krueger..." "How come channel 4 gets all the sensations?" "these guys are a joke man they're better than anything you two have turned in in the past week our story last night was great I mean the firemen prevailed, the kitten was rescued and... shut up it was a story of hope" "April, I thought you were better than this channel 4 is getting all the news" "I just hope the advertisers don't find out about it and pull out you know..." "we need something good like these Ghostbusters are a hot item right now" "Ghostbusters?" "oh... ok... so..." "I'm better than stories about kittens trapped in trees but I'm not quiet good enough for real news" "April, I know you're bitter about the anchor position but I need you in the field this is embarrassing chief I need a real story now... there are these Egyptian artifacts coming into town" "Frederic's team is on this they've got an interview set up with Dr. Konstantin he's the chief archaeologist" "Frederic's pieces are so flat come on put me on this one chief" "Yeah!" "give us a chance" "I tell you what... if you can get an appointment with the Ghostbusters" "Then I'll give you a follow up interview with Dr. Konstantin" "Just like you let me have that anchor position right chief" "April" "Let's just take it if we get a hold of the Ghostbusters by tomorrow then we could have the production in post by tomorrow afternoon mmm... in time for the evening news... now that would be good competition for channel 4" "Mr. Jenks, I really don't think that this is a good story" "I don't wanna take it you should be thanking me for what I give you" "Now just take it, go and do your job" "Uh Oh!" "good morning sunshine you know how Ed always compares a human brain to a sponge yeah yeah with the soaking up information and stuff yeah it feels like somebody used my brain to clean a toilet and then tried to ring it out" "big night last night?" "yeah I hit it pretty hard with a friend" "Pavel?" "Jack Daniels where are the guys anyway?" "Ed's TV show they are taping this afternoon" "No, those punks don't get a day off if they get a day off I get a day off look hold down my calls, cuz once my ass hits that couch" "I'm not getting up until dinner time" "Quantum Leap reruns all day" "I AM NOT HERE" "Good Morning Denver Ghostbusters" "I am sorry none of them are available no ma'am I..." "OK... hold on" "Neil she wants to talk to you give me the phone hi ma'am how you doing?" "yeah great look, we are pretty booked up over here swimming in specters and such let me see if we've got any openings you're gonna regret it it's looking like the last Wednesday of the month is the earliest" "so I think I'm gonna pass you back off to my secretary here" "You go ahead and give her your number we'll get back to you as soon as we can." "thanks a bunch for calling" "I'm sorry about that ma'am." "I'll have 'em call you back." "yeah, and your number was..." "ok... and your name was..." "APRIL HUNTER" "APRIL HUNTER!" "APRIL HUNTER!" "channel 8 news April Hunter?" "the hot chick?" "You said you weren't interested." "the hot chick..." "what she want?" "she want an interview?" "she want me?" "She wanted to meet the Ghostbusters." "I told her you'll call her back." "did you get her number?" "Yes, off course I got her number." "It's right here." "alright!" "alright!" "call her back, tell her I can meet her this afternoon ok?" "but Ed and Pavel are taping this afternoon" "Who cares, they've got their own lime light." "It's time for me to get a piece, alright." "Besides, don't you think I'm professional enough to handle one little interview?" "It's Ed Spengler." "He's the science nerd." "greetings and welcome to the show" "I'm Ed Spengler, the science nerd, and this is my esteemed colleague:" "Pavel Karnov." "Now today we'll be putting the finishing touches on the neutron accelerator." "For those of you joined us at home, don't forget proper protection." "good point Pavel" "That's why I recommend a level 4 radiation suit, complete with 2, not 1, but 2 layers of lead paneling, a heart monitor, and a gamma ray tuned built in Geiger counter." "But since we don't have any of that we'll use safety goggles, and rubber gloves, which can be purchased at your local hardware store." "This is good opportunity to support local business, not corporate whores." "now..." "Pavel we need to speak kindly about our sponsors" "Once this miniature reactor is finished we'll be able to generate an energy field by converting hydrogen into helium." "woo, it sounds very dangerous it is that's why we have the sub-atomic housing set to counter the intense gravitational field and heat that'll be generated by the process for those of you following along at home don't forget your sub-atomic house?" "ok, you see here, we got the standard proton pack ok, we got..." "little knobs here to adjust stream length and stream intensity" "I don't know what that does uhm... yes, that's very interesting but could we perhaps get some footage of you firing it for the story?" "in here?" "why not?" "you're professional aren't you?" "well... yeah... yeah... damn straight I am a professional we can do that, sure why not alright Gallagher get this" "I'm on it you guys are gonna wanna step back a little there we go a little further yeah... ok." "are you guys ready?" "oh yeah alright let's go ahead and switch this thing on alright" "I'll give you guys a little show here we go!" "ok... ok.. uhm... hum... ah... yeah... see I am a professional you see that the ceiling is now on fire and I'm not worried maybe you should yeah absolutely" "hold this" "that about does it for the fundamental particle chamber we should now be able to positively and negatively charge electrons at a rate similar to that found in small stars like Gary Coleman or would he be considered a small has-been?" "What you talkin' 'bout Pavel?" "this here is the protection grid for the ecto containment unit it's been upgraded from the old system and it is now all digital" "So you keep people's souls in a computer." "well.. yeah..." "I gue... yeah that's right actually... uhm... let me just show you if you... go right here... just... just a second it's ok uhm... well... well it's... uhm it's fine it does this all the time" "we should step back coming back in 30 seconds" "hello" "ED!" "quick you've gotta get back here man the containment unit is trying to p... p.. perjurate what?" "what did you do?" "I don't know I was just clicking on somethin... is that an alarm I hear in the background?" "maybe yes alright, I'll be there in six and a half minutes" "Pavel you're gonna have to take over what?" "what should I do?" "it'll be easy, just talk to the camera there is only a few minutes left to the show anyway ok" "Do not touch anything!" "hey where the hell are you going?" "I got to stop the containment unit from purging can't you just wait there is ten minutes left to the show in ten minutes half the city will be vaporized besides I've got Pavel covering for me so we've been at this for a few years now so that's pretty good" "the boys back in Manhattan they get sued all the time we've been lucky we've avoided that issue so I had this dream last night right more like a nightmare" "I was trapped in these movies and I couldn't get out does that ever happen?" "what?" "you're 30 seconds late man" "I got held out coming out of the studio" "Neil, I've told you a million times do not mess around with the containment unit especially the protection grid will you relax man?" "it's for a news story" "I figured we could use the publicity" "Hi, I'm April Hunter from channel 8 news." "Ed Spengler, paranormal elimination and investigation so..." "I suppose you're curious as how the containment unit works actually yes I am curious well, it's pretty basic really we are all made up of atoms which are basically electrical particles vibrating and bouncing around now the law of conservation states that energy cannot be created or destroyed" "so when a person dies, their life energy disperses throughout the galaxy to heaven or hell or whatever it is you believe in but sometimes for whatever reasons some of that energy sticks around and uhm, that's what keeps us in business" "harvesting souls electrical anomalies Miss Hunter psychokinetic energy and with the encoder I built we can convert those ghosts into a signal and from there it's a snap to store 'em in the computer" "provided Pavel hasn't crammed the memory full of porn" "like I said it's simply erratic residual energy left over when a person dies we're not talkin' Dante's inferno here and who are you to decide the fate of humanity's souls?" "first off, we bust 'bad ghosts' and frankly, 'goblins' have killed in the past making it quiet serious my colleague is right" "our clients call us when they have a problem if our work wasn't satisfactory then we wouldn't get paid so what it really comes down to IS your money look, don't make me your "straw man"" "we're scientists here well..." "I'm a scientist" "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be the objective reporter here get the facts straight well then get this straight around here people consider us heroes we help people in this town and we do damn fine work" "believe we have everything we need that's it" "bye hey wait a second wait up" "I cannot wait to see the footage on this guys" "I think this is gonna make a great story" "I think it went really well in there well, you're in luck hopefully it'll air tonight very very cool very cool you know what, you never thanked me to saving your life in there he saved my life" "you know if I recall correctly it was uhm..." "Mr. Spengler that turned off the containment system before it went critical if anything you almost ended my life come on ouch!" "hey wait a minute wait wait wait wait how about I make it up to you over dinner?" "dinner?" " Shut up!" " Shut up!" "I gotta a 12 pack with your name on it" "I'd love to, I really would but I uhm.." "I gotta another interview to do yeah but, is he a celebrity?" "I mean... come on yeah he is I'm sure you've heard of him" "Klaus Konstantin he's been in the news quite a lot yeah, rings a bell so what?" "you date all your assignments?" "no, just the ones that aren't jerks come on" "we're here on location near the ancient Egyptian city of Cinépolis where Dr. Klaus Konstantin and his team have made a remarkable discover tell us about it professor well sir, it would appear that what we have discovered is in fact the amulet of Anubis" "and what is..." "what is that?" "the amulet of Anubis is an ancient talisman fabled to carry the powers of Anubis the most ancient guardian of the under world according to ancient Egyptian beliefs sounds very... old" "Ed, how many times are we gonna watch this tape?" "I'm very worried about this story Neil all right let's hear it well, I've been researching this amulet that Konstantin has recovered" "Anubis is an incredibly ancient god, the god of the underworld according to ancient Egyptian myth" "He was responsible of escorting souls through the after life to their final judgment." "He was also responsible for feeding souls of sinners to Ammit... the eater of the dead." "so, what?" "no heaven?" "no anything being fed to Ammit meant the soul would vanish into an oblivion with no further hope of existence so Konstantin can eat souls with this amulet thingy well... sort of if he figured out how to decipher it he can open up a gateway to an alternate dimension" "the after life or Hall of Two Truths according to ancient Egyptian mythology" "Pavel, you're just in time, Ed is making another apocalypse prediction and we're going to be studying the find in my lab in Denver later this week" "Professor Konstantin!" "what?" "you know him?" "I'll tell you what, you stay here and day dream about Konstantin all you want." "I'm hit'n the bar you down?" "you buying?" "you driving?" "it's a deal comrade let's drink let's do it if this talisman actually carries the powers of Anubis" "I'll be interested in finding ways to harness 'em perhaps as a weapon" "for the good of mankind of course what are you up to professor?" "here's the crate you asked for professor excellent thank you" "the amulet of Anubis something I've been searching for my entire professional life" "where are the the rest of the crates from the expedition?" "they're on their way to the museum well I'll need some time with this one" "I'll bring it back tomorrow personally alright whatever you say sir" "oh... ahhh sir?" "I don't know if this is something you'd be interested or not but a couple of us are gonna go down to Chuck E. Cheese a little later on try to pick up some MILFS some what?" "yeah, you know there's lots of them that hang out there for some reason mechanical puppets or something I don't know but I didn't really wanna tell you, they just asked me to ask you so... you wanna do it or not?" "some other time perhaps" "I have a later engagement wow with a woman?" "%$^*@!" "of course with a woman a nice beautiful reporter woman is it so hard to believe that a man... that a man like me can find love no... no!" "I mean yeah but it's not because your crippled alright it's because you're not very good looking and..." "don't take that the wrong way you know you're not very good looking just look in the mirror, goddamn it quiet" "I'll see you tomorrow alright, stay and fondle your little amulet or whatever have a good time without me" "so Pavel, tell me what you know about professor bubble boy" "I just don't think he is a nice fellow, that's all hey look, we're on television 8" "ahh... for Christ's sakes can somebody change the channel in here?" "I don't wanna see her hey, I know what's up you're sweet on this reporter girl aren't you?" "what?" "no way man!" "argh no... no... well... sort of yeah... definitely why don't you just ask her out?" "what the hell do you know about women anyway?" "women just like confidence, watch this hello lady" "I know someone who wants to beat your ass oh yeah?" "!" "who?" "my balls you're cute see you gotta be shitting me man it's the worst line I've ever heard ah geez!" "Are these crack pots at it again." "what was that chief?" "these Ghostbuster freaks, they're crack pots idiots like them give the country a bad name you know what I think," "I think your mouth makes this country look bad" "makes it smell bad too hum what do we get here?" "piss?" "is this your beverage of choice at this fine establishment?" "you smart mouth hey!" "you're better watch what you say to me" "Stupid face!" "I say whatever I want sausage tits no you won't sausage face" "why don't you uh, stop... repeating my insults and adding the word face to 'em, you moron?" "hey, relax comrades, OK?" "hey, blow it out your ass your communist pig hey!" "what's up?" "Bring it on you butt hole!" "what's that thing you're working on?" "well... by using miniature micro fusion reactions it creates quantum leaps in atoms forming super charged electron particles this in turn causes the protons to be held together at 10,000 times the force in a standard proton pack sounds complicated" "elementary really it's a prototype of a new pack I'm working on" "I call it the neutrino pack" "Ghostbusters hi Annie, it's Neil" "IT'S NEIL" "Hello hey Ed can you come pick me and Pavel up?" "what?" "you guys can't walk home?" "not without posting bail alright, I guess I'll have to TiVO American Idol" "that interview..." "that was a lot of fun that was a lot of presence thank you very much" "I had a wonderful time tonight April that's great well... uhm..." "this is my place" "April it's lovely" "April darling you've been addressing me as mister all night" "Please call me Klaus" "Mr. Konstantin" "What is it?" "I like you a lot I enjoy your company greatly" "I just had to do an interview and that's all that I really..." "Just one moment please hello good evening Mr. Konstantin can this not wait until morning?" "the rest of the board wanted me to call as soon as possible what information does the Congrie have to send?" "they're pulling funding for you project Klaus" "What!" "You can't do this" "I've only begun deciphering the... the board feels the company has already lost enough money on this project they're not seeing the results you promised" "I said the damned amulet would take time to decipher you're not being fair we have a dead line to meet we're going to go with another project you back stabbers!" "we had a deal" "Lab Rat Enterprises produces weapons for military use, Mr. Konstantin you're talking about some sort of 'god stone' that consumes the souls of the living yes!" "... and what greater weapon is there!" "?" "an offer is on the table that we can't refuse goodbye" "sons of bitches you said the amulet was for educational purposes you said that it was for the good of mankind it shows what the hell you know" "There isn't enough money in education to pay for a Greyhound ticket to Wichita." "you're two face jerk listen here you little tootsie roll" "I'm a scientist, we don't work for free live with it you are just trying to make a quick buck and it's disgusting, you are disgusting and what do you know?" "hum?" "what do you know?" "you're just a media whore probably sleeping you're way to the top and the only reason you've got this job is because you're so young and pretty argh!" "how dare you strike me, I'm a powerful scholar!" "I'll have you, I'm a powerf... arhh sweet harvesty!" "Jesus!" "ED you look like hell late night so... did the ratings come in?" "yeahhh that's what I wanna talk to you about did we get the new time slot?" "look Ed, don't get me wrong, I like you, we all like you we think you do a good show, but it's just... you don't really connect with our younger audience this is a science show" "kids aren't gonna be interested in this unless it has some overrated actor playing pranks on other celebrities or pimping someone's ride this is an educational show, doesn't the government pay for part of this?" "yeah... but... we also lost three advertisers last week so you're canceling the show no no no no no definitely not so what's the problem then do you want me to be funnier?" "we're replacing you what?" "we need someone who can connect with the kids, someone cooler someone street smart someone... jive!" "like who?" "I'm not interrupting anything, am I Robert?" "Levar, come on in I like you to meet Ed Spengler oh... alright, nice to meet you, I heard so much about you you're a Ghostbuster, right?" "how are things?" "uhm... couldn't be better sorry I have to meet you like this but... hey..." "I'm sure you'll get by you're soul harvesting business is doing good what is it with that term?" "what else are you supposed to call it?" "the same thing we've always called it, busting ghosts now look Rob, I've been hosting this show for six months" "I've got two PhDs, he's not qualified actually I have a PhD and I'm working on my second come on he's like fifteen actually he's the youngest ever to receive a PhD from Cornell he's like the black Doogie Howser" "thank you, and I've written a New York Times best seller give me a break, anybody who's been published is on that list" "Dr. Phil is on that list for a diet book." "a diet book!" "well..." "let's just say he's not exactly in shape himself" "I know this is tough to grasp look Ed, Like I said, we like you we'll keep you in mind for other shows" "hey, and why don't you use your 'talents' to benefit mankind instead of enslaving its afterlife?" "maybe I'll save a soul for you seems like you could use one" "ser setam shamzoozoo nerhuntai umpatcha nah furie shahm shahvin" "Ammit sudin je Klaus Konstantin miri hi ni pertet" "I request the power and accept the burden" "Anubis, god of the two halls" "I request the power and accept the burden" "damn it what's wrong here?" "I did everything" "I deciphered the language" "of course" "I need to power the amulet and the only way to do that is with a celestial sacrifice" "of course a human soul not something I can pick up at the super market or Seven Eleven" "and how long can I contain it for as long as I need it ...trap the ghosts then we can store 'em in this containment facility as long as necessary actually, indefinitely if need be" "Ghostbusters there, now that's news" "April your ratings are up hardly, I mean that story was nothing all we had to do was point the camera and that idiot blabbermouth did the rest they were cool though yeah... so what's next chief?" "something a little bit more exciting?" "next?" "this is a gold mine, people can't get enough of this stuff" "I want you to go back to these folks back?" "hell yes this is a gold mine" "I wanna week long exposé" "I want to show the city what is like to be a Ghostbuster for a week no!" "no no no no you sent Frederic to Egypt you made Adam anchor what do they have that I don't?" "April, you'll get your chance yet now just do your job, go out there, dig up some dirt so this is all about making them look bad?" "no, it's about business this isn't right" " It's not about right or wrong it's..." " I just don't like the idea of making them look bad hell..." "April, I'm trying to do you a favor, this is good stuff, I want you to be out there I want you to... ok April, if you do this for me, I'll make you anchor by the end of the month" "anchor... wow..." "I just... now go, go do your job ok?" "and show some enthusiasm, will you?" "oh, I'm enthused" "greetings oh... hello!" "may I help you?" "yes, I'm here to see the Ghostbusters ok... well they're on a case right now would you like to make an appointment?" "yes, what'd you have at the earliest?" "well... ah..." "let's see here, they're pretty busy it looks like the first available would be next Thursday" "ssssssssssleeeeep" "it's beautiful he hey!" "buddy!" "do you have any change buddy?" "change?" "yeah!" "you know nickels, dimes, quarters..." "you know, anything like that would be great oh god!" "you're repulsive" "I'm not picky so... why you ask a man in crippled, a cripple man for change!" "?" "why don't we see what this thing is?" "I have seen one of those, is there money in there?" "you should be the first to find out" "disgusting man" "I have your pathetic soul my first one hahahaha" "with this offering, I accept the gift and the burden of some of your great power" "hahahaha..." "Ha Hahahaha!" "... hoh, oh Hahahahaha!" "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha... wo, wo, wo, whoa let me try the new pack this time" "I don't think so I still to test a bit come on man, why do you getta have all the fun?" "look, I'm taking a big enough risk by bringing it here already with all the press coverage we've been getting that's such a BS you know what?" "just let me try the new pack, I mean what's the worst that could happen?" "look, this is not a piece of equipment to toy with if it goes critical it could detonate a 60 gigaton explosion or worse collapse on to its self creating matter so dense that it becomes a black hole why is it that every time we get a new piece of equipment, you dive into the science talk?" "all I wanna do is try out the new pack and I don't see what the big deal is come on Ed, just let him try it even Pavel!" ", come on man alright, alright I just want you to take it seriously" "I take everything seriously, you know that serious is my middle name" "thank god you guys are here how many are there?" "uhm, more than one for sure... uhm this isn't too much trouble, is it?" "only for your bank account pal" "I'm sorry, there is a "no smoking" in here thanks" "my P.K.E. integrated cellphone seems to be malfunctioning what's the matter?" "you ran out of minutes there, jack ass?" "It definitely is a strong signal" "Pavel!" "use your ecto motion tracker right" "I've got something here multiple signals, front and behind what?" "where man?" "I don't see anything look sharp people they're closing" "there" "good evening please forgive me for my intrusion I promise to be brief" "yes" "damn it, you go that way, I'll go this way you could just told me, gee" "Neil, you wait here" "hello, channel 8?" "you might wanna send someone down to the Mayan Theater quickly the Ghostbusters are attacking the staff noooo, the Ghostbusters no the Ghostbusters, they're attacking t..." "Ghostbusters they're taking their god damned souls" "Ed, we might have something here what is it?" "a whole bunch of ectoplasm yeah, I've got some in here as well yeah, there's a lot here on the ceiling well, what's a lot?" "we've seen loads of this stuff before" "it's... bubbling?" "is that a question or an observation?" "goddamn I'm good" "Neil, quick turn down the electron flow where?" "You IDIOT!" "what happened?" "You just completely destroyed a SOUL!" " destroyed?" " I told you to turn it DOWN!" "I don't know how to work this goddamned thing" "Can you comprehend the implications of what you just did?" "You just completely obliterated a soul!" "well, it was bad right?" "ED!" "Ed come on!" "an unknown source has claimed that the Ghostbusters are responsible for putting the employees of this theater into comas however... comas?" "one of our packs malfunctioned and destroyed a ghost so the Ghostbusters are now murdering spirits" "wait a second, that was an accident" "April, what the hell are you doing?" "I'm doing my job, just like you" "Do you know anything about these comas?" "look, I don't know what the hell went on out here." "That was the scene downtown tonight when the Ghostbusters started attacking innocent people." "Uh, the new pack wasn't thoroughly tested, and it somehow malfunctioned, and a soul was destroyed." "It was my fault really." "I just should have tested it more thoroughly." "Ed Spengler, leader of the Denver Ghostbusters, also built the machine that destroyed the ghost." "Ed and team have been under scrutiny, questioning the ethics behind what they do." "And tonight's instant has caught the attention of the federal government," "Who will reportedly seek to pass legislation on "ghostbusting", as well as dealings with the afterlife." "Get that camera out of my face!" "A cease and desist has already been ordered on the Denver Ghostbusters." "As more coma victims continue to pile up across the city." "April" "What's the deal wh.." "Why are you trying to make us look bad." "It's nothing personnel Neil, it's just the news." "Yeah, it's just bad news." "Yeah well, bad news is the only type of news that sells OK." "People don't like hearing about happy stories" "They like hearing about stories that make their miserable little lives seem a little bit better." "What really happened in there Neil?" "I don't know." "We came down here." "It was a routine bust." "come outside, and this" "Everybody thinks we're... bad." "I don't think that you're that bad." "Then why do the story?" "I don't..." "I don't kn... my boss, he just thinks that this will help my career and I jus..." "Alright... alright." "Why don't we just..." "Why don't we talk about it over... dinner." "What do we want?" "..." "GHOST RIGHTS!" "When do we want it?" "..." "NOW!" "What do we want?" "..." "GHOST RIGHTS!" "When do we want it?" "..." "NOW!" "Hey!" "You awake?" "Oh... uh, I must've dosed off." "You better go home and get some sleep." "Yeah." "Hey!" "... where are you going?" "Ahh.." "Can it MacGyver!" "I don't need anymore of your crap." "I'm taking April to dinner." "Oh, oh, hurts dunn't!" "Ohhh!" "What, no Jaguar?" "It's in the shop." "Oh, OK, thanks." "Sparks in the air tonight." "Dropping off or picking up?" "Um, neither..." "Uh, good evening ma'am, this is uh, Agent J." "I'm Agent K. We'd like to ask you a few questions." "We found this man behind your establishment." "Did anybody see or hear anything this evening?" "No, I was playing video games all night, and earlier I was watching 'Batman and Robin', and then before..." "I'm not looking for an alibi tonight ma'am." "I'm just look'n to ask ya a few questions." "Wait, 'Batman and Robin'?" "The television show or the crappy George Clooney movie?" "I didn't think it was that bad!" "Oh please... all the cool, icy, chill, freeze, analogies." "My god, the bat suit had nipples on it!" "Ok..." "First of all, we need to get this man to a hospital." "Second!" "..." "Any movie with Uma Thurman in it is ok in my book man." "We're gonna need an ambulance at 7345 South Seventeenth Street." "I got a 10-20..." "I got a 10-Fif..." "What's the code for comatose?" "I got a coma guy!" "This is very strange." "I'm getting a zero-point-zero reading on the P.K.E. Meter" "What does that mean?" "The P.K.E. Meter detects even the slightest amount of psycho kinetic energy." "Every living soul on the planet emits at least some signal." "This man..." "He has no soul." "What is he, a politician?" "No, it appears that someone or some... thing has stolen this man's soul." "I'd like to get him inside, I could do a few tests." "No can do doc, we got the ambulance on the way right now." "This guy appears to be in the same condition that the other were at the Mayan Theatre." "Are they alright?" "I haven't heard anything." "They're all down at St. Mary's" " They're still alive but..." " Sleep'n it off like this guy." "I'm afraid this doesn't look to good for your company sir." "I swear, I had nothing to do with this." "If I can get him inside, I could run a few tests and I can figure all of this out" "Murderers!" "Mess'n with ghosts isn't good enough, now you have to mess with the living." "Wait right here." "So, should we take the body inside?" "Yep." "Hey well, I had a great time tonight." "I did too." "We should get together and do it again sometime." "Definitely, only I pick the place next time." "Ok?" " What, no fish tacos?" " No, no fish tacos!" "Those were good!" "Yeah, I'm thinking something a little bit more authentic." "Italian maybe... candles?" "Yeah, we can do that." "But hey, I'm tired, I'm gonna get to bed." "Yeah I..." "I got stuff to do too, so." "Ok" " night - good night" "Oh, hey, drive careful" "Hey, it's me!" "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about." "Bye" "Hey I saw that you pussy." "Too lame to go in for the kiss?" "I.." "I'm not lame!" "Yeah, whatever." "Bet you haven't been laid in years." "kiss my sack!" "You don't wait long to get back on the wagon, do you?" "How the hell did you get in here?" "The window was open." "I'm calling the cops." "I've decided to give you one last chance..." "To join me!" "Your legs..." "Lying about secret weapon contracts is one thing..." "Pretending to be in a wheelchair is just desp..." "I am offering you one last chance to be my QUEEN!" "Forget it!" "Get out of here, you freak!" "Alright..." "But first there's something I'd like to show you." "How the hell did you get that!" "I'm calling the police." "They cannot help you." "No!" "..." "No!" "..." "NO!" "..." "NO!" "Hey, what's going on in here?" "Miss Hunter, you ok?" "I'm fine!" "He was just leaving!" "Good day" "Sorry for interrupting, it sounded like something was going on in here." "No, everything's fine now thank you." "Can you please make sure that that gentleman finds his way out of the building completely." "Will do." "Hey!" "You!" "Sir, I'm gonna hafta ask you to leave the building." "I don't know what the problem is!" "?" "I was just trying to show her something." "I don't think she'll wanna see anything you've gotta show her." "Well then perhaps, you'd like to see." "Hey, good morning boys." "April!" "What are doing here?" "Good morning lady." "I'm making blintza" "Yeah, you wanna stay for breakfast?" "Sure." "And this morning my superintendent was unconscious in the hallway." "It's strange, Konstantin is walking now too." "So, your saying that Konstantin has one of our traps?" "That's what it looked like, yes." "If Konstantin has one of our traps he may be able to figure out how to use..." "Wait wait wait." "Ya know, I heard that if you look into that thing while it's closing it can make you impotent." "What, like you can't go when you need to?" "That's incontinence." "I think you get that too." " Is that true?" " Ask Ed." "Ed, are you impotent?" "Dr. Stantz's theory is that the eyes are a window into the soul." "Therefore if a living person were to look into the trap, as it was closing,..." "It could steal their life essence, rendering that person..." "What!" "A flesh craving zombie Ed?" "In a comatose state." "Pavel?" "What!" "?" "Do you think that Konstantin would ever intentionally steal a person's soul?" "Wait a minute, why the hell would he know?" "I think he would do anything to unlock his amulet." "I knew it!" "I knew you knew more than than you wanted me to know you knew." "What do you know?" "Pavel is a former student of Konstantin's" "What the hell is going on here Pavel?" "Are you working for him?" "So what, Ed gets to know about your past, and you keep it a secret from me?" "I didn't think it was big deal." "Big deal!" "?" "This guy's stealing souls, for Christ's sake." "And as far as I'm concerned, you're an accomplice." "And you!" "You son of a bitch, you coulda clued me in on this." " Please, calm down." " No!" "This is bullshit!" "I take enough of Ed's crap, i don't need it from you too." "Neil, there are more important things going on here than you and your ego." "Ego!" "..." "you think I have an ego." "Why don't we ask her, do I have an ego?" "Well... a... it's... just" "Oh that's just great!" "I guess I'll take me and my ego and get outa here." "You can help them stop Konstantin." "Great..." "I've ruined everything." "Ed, I'm sorry." "No it's not you fault." "Along with the city revoking our business, now, I've driven Neil away." "Did the bureaucrats take all of your equipment?" "Well, we still have the neutrino pack and a couple of traps..." "And I'm very thankful that for now they haven't touched the containment unit." "Face it Ed, Ghostbusters are finished." "Oh my..." "What's happening?" "He must've opened a portal." "Oh!" "You're big!" "You're big!" "Yeah, alright!" "Destroy me!" "Yeah, yeah, destroy me." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, give it!" "So let me get this straight." "Some madman, with the powers of the underworld has summoned..." "Some thing!" "That's gonna devour every soul on the planet." "Ammit, the eater of the dead, your honor." "The powers of Anubis." "Forget it!" "I don't care!" "But this... this is not gonna happen in Denver." "This doesn't really happen anywhere, mayor." "And soon it could be everywhere." "Like Starbucks." "Can you stop it?" "Possibly" "First we need to evacuate this area of the city." "The psycho kinetic readings for these coordinates are off the charts." "If we could isolate the threat here..." "Done, what else do you need." "Well if it's not too much trouble we'd like our uh..." "equipment back." "Hello." "Hi." "Why are you sitting there like that?" "Look kid, if it's all the same to you, I'd really just prefer not to be bothered right now." "Ok?" "Allison come on, we're leaving!" "Sounds like your mom's calling you anyway, you don't wanna get in trouble." "What's wrong?" "I..." "I had a fight with some friends, is all." "My father says that fighting builds character." "My parents have a lot of character." "Teh" "Maybe they should quit." "Allison!" "Well, I havta go." "We're leaving the city." "Leaving the city?" "Why?" "Havn't you been paying attention?" "Aren't you a Ghostbuster?" "Are you going to save us?" "You know we're going too, right?" "It's much too dangerous." "Well, if you fail the world's going to end anyway." "She's got a point." "Alright, let's rock this kasbah" "Uh, sir." "Camera 17 is sending us a feed." "It's April" "What's she got?" "Broadcast that!" "Interrupt all feeds." "Get New York and L.A. On the lines." "Some sort of ghost tornado, erupting from downtown Denver, a "soul-nado" if you will." "Denver at this point has been evacuated, the mayor has sent out another warning..." "What!" "Denver could be facing Armageddon first hand." "It would seem that the Denver Ghostbusters are the world's only hope at this point as the "soul-nado"..." "Nafu shem seti Ammit" "Aiki rockto nayga" "Ammit shahmsay" "Nafu shem seti Ammit" "I thought you guys were out of business." "We're here by order of the mayor." "The system is so screwed up these days." "Isn't sort of of cliché that every time that there's a "disaster" you get to meet the mayor?" "Klause, you must stop this!" "This is madness!" "You don't know what you're doing!" "I am a god!" "And I know exactly what I'm doing." "Ask Pavel." " Cleansing the earth of evil huh?" " Precisely!" "You were a better man before, this power has corrupted you." "A better man?" "A CRIPPLE IN A WHEELCHAIR!" "I was never a better man!" "No!" "Being a man is nothing compared to being a god." "And I plan to release this planet from the wickedness of man." "Not everyone is WICKED!" "Well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs now can you." "These aren't eggs we're talking about." "These are people's souls!" "I'll do what it takes to stop you." "Show me your best Ghostbuster." "HAHAHaHahahahahaHA!" "Is that all you've got?" "Here, let me try." "Ammit nechfnissy city Ammit Meri ey!" "Nufair shadam cham sity.." "Meri ey!" "ha ha ha ha ha ha" "They are still in the building and there..." "There's a... giant... ghost... dragon thing flying over Denver!" "GHOST DRAGON THING!" "Holy SHIT!" "...giant monster that looks like the ghost of..." "FALKOR is terrorizing downtown Den..." "Ed, You take care of that, I'll stay here." "Pavel..." "Ed, I could've taken care of this a long time ago." "This time, he's not gonna get away." "Be careful!" "You too." "Lavar?" "What are you doing here?" "I'm here to put a stop to all this nonsense." "Oh good, we could really use your help right now." "n..." "I'm here to stop you." "What you do is wrong." "I'm placing you under citizens arrest." "Levar, we're trying to save the world here, can't we set aside our differences?" "OK, setting aside all of our differences..." "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" "I've never seen a ghost that big before." "But you can stop it though, can't you?" "I... thought you didn't want us meddling in the affairs of the afterlife." "I.. t-take it back." "I'm glad you've come to your senses Pavel." "I could use you." "As we destroy the world, I'll need an assistant." "I don't think so." "You'll be worshiped as a god." "money, power, it will all be yours!" "What good is money and power when you have no one to share it with." "Well I don't plan to destroy "every" human." "But, those that except me as their god, will be spared." "Join me Pavel." "The proton cannon seems to have no effect on the beast." "Can you go any faster?" "Hell yeah!" "This is a big ass dragon." "What it is that thing?" "I have an idea." "What?" "AN IDEA!" "No I heard you." "What's your idea?" "Well we'll..." "We'll herd it." "Like..." "like cattle." "What will it be Pavel?" "You already know my answer." "Your death shall be swift." "ahnas san seda..." "WHOOOAA!" "...in pursuit." "Ye Haw!" "Oooh!" "Well that does it for stupid snake..." "Face!" "You came, You saw,..." "You kicked it's Aaasssss!" "NICE!" "YES!" "Nice going guys!" "Ed!" "I failed!" "I couldn't stop him." "Let's try this." "Alright, closing trap." "What!" "No, this can't be!" "?" "NO!" "Those souls are MINE!" "MINE!" "Ha!" "It's too late!" "The portal cannot be stopped!" "Blastage!" "Now Lavar!" "Here goes nothing." "Go full stream" "It's hopeless!" "Bad dog!" "No Biscuit" "Don't let him get into the portal!" "There's enough energy in that alternate dimension to fuel his amulet." "If he gains enough power, he'll be able to keep it open permanently." "eh no." "This never ends, so what do we do?" "Ed!" "Let me think a second!" "Ed, there's something wrong with this thing!" "Oh No!" "The pack's gone critical, it's overloading!" "What the hell does that mean?" "The sub-atomic housing is overheated." "The matter is beginning to collapse into the antimatter." "That's BAD, right?" "!" "For THIS dimension." "yes" "Yes!" "YES!" "Unlimited Power!" "Unlimited Power!" "YES!" "Ghostbusters!" "Ghostbusters!" "Ghostbusters!" "Dy-no-mite!" "oh..." "Oh, this better be on YouTube tomorrow!" "It looks like the world will keep it's souls after all." "atta girl!" "Oh she's goood!" "I knew you'd be back Neil." "well..." "I guess I couldn't let you steal my limelight, could I!" "ahh.." "Oh!" "God!" "yeah" "Hug, precisely what I was thinking." "alright" "Hell no!" "no" "Good work Lavar!" "Thanks, Ed." "You know, I was wrong about you." "Pavel, I'm really glad you're one of the good guys." "Hey man!" "What do you think happened to Konstantin?" "Well..." "He's Toast!" "There is still no sign of the Ghostbusters who hours ago entered the strange building." "and we have still not..." "Here they come now." "What was it like in there?" "Well I gotta tell ya..." "that... was a close one!" "uh, The threat has been eliminated. all we havta do is return these souls to their rightful owners." "I'm gonna do a special on my show of how Lavar Gorden almost died... twice." "I think I will go to Disneyland." "Hi Mother." "Were there any human casualties?" "uh, the cripple." "Nobody cares about him." "Ya know, What's important is that we get these souls back to their rightful owners." "and Ed here, is gonna describe the device that's gonna do, just that." "oh um... yeah I created a device that uh captures psycho kinetic energy and polarizes it so that uh... you can use the electromagnetic aura that is a residual, um, result tu..." "I'm just bullshitting..." "can you edit this out later?" "Ed, we're live." "uh um, as I was saying psycho kinet..." "What are your feelings now that you've come out OK?" "You know what, that's... that's..." "that's enough OK." "There's no feelings..." "and there's no more pictures." "We're going home, we're tired." "Guys we're outa here." "I will call you..." "maybe..." "Thought we were getting to be their friends." "And the day is once again saved by the Ghostbusters." "I'm April Hunter from Channel 8 News, reminding you..." "Don't be afraid of no ghosts!" "Clean up crews will be working around the clock, cleaning up the rubble from last night's epic battle." "Turns out that the Ghostbusters were ALWAYS on our side... as I pointed out months ago..." "or weeks..." "Depending on what type of calendar you use." "Welcome back to "Science of the Universe"." "I'm Ed Spengler." "And I'm Lavar Gordon." "Now today is our Ghostbusters Special." "That's right!" "we're going to be taking a look at the technology that saved the world." "Ghostbusters!" "If there's something strange..." "in your neighborhood..." "Who ya gonna call?" "Ghostbusters!" "If there's something weird..." "and it don't look good..." "Who ya gonna call?" "Ghostbusters!" "I ain't fraid a no ghost!" "I ain't fraid a no ghost!" "If you're seeing things..." "running through your head..." "Who can ya call?" "Ghostbusters!" "An invisible man..." "sleeping in your bed..." "Oh!" "Who ya gonna call?" "Ghostbusters!" "I ain't fraid a no ghost!" "I ain't fraid a no ghost!" "Who ya gonna call?" "Ghostbusters!" "If you're all alone..." "pick up the phone... and call..." "Ghostbusters!" "I ain't fraid a no ghost!" "I hear it likes the girls." "I ain't fraid a no ghost!" "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!" "Who ya gonna call?" "Ghostbusters!" "Mm... if you've had a dose..." "Of a freaky ghost baby..." "You better call..." "Ghostbusters!" "let me tell ya something..." "Bustin' makes me feel good!" "I ain't fraid a no ghost!" "I ain't fraid a no ghost!" "Don't get caught alone oh no..." "Ghostbusters!" "When it comes through your door..." "Unless you just want some more..." "I think you better call..." "Ghostbusters!"