"♪" "(Siren walls)" "♪ Oh yes, Los Angeles ♪" "♪ so many nights and bars like this ♪" "Doctor:" "Let's get this wound cleaned up." "Drop an amp of Lidocaine with epi." "This is a real mess." "We'll use proleen sutures, so let's get those ready." "Connor:" "(Laughs) You're really good at that." "What's that, son?" "Connor:" "All that doctor speak." "I know how hard that is." "Who's your agent?" "It's a beautiful day." "♪ And I know birds with wings can fly ♪" "♪" "♪ yes, there are birds that have wings ♪" "Good morning." "Nick:" "Morning." "(Phone chirps)" "(Sighs heavily)" "(Laughing)" "♪ So many nights in bars like these ♪" "♪ so many nights in bars like these ♪" "♪ oh please, Los Angeles ♪" "♪ I'm down here begging on my knees ♪" "♪ I'm down here begging on my knees ♪" "(Eggs sizzle)" "Eddie:" "Alicia!" "How wouldst thou like thine eggs?" "Grilled or sauteed?" "(Alicia groans)" "Oof!" "You look like I usually look." "Rough dance class this morning?" "Crazy birthday party last night." "Really." "I thought you preferred protein shakes and poppin' and locking'." "Whatever happened to going to bed early, young lady?" "The sun just came up, Eddie." "It doesn't get any earlier than this." "Well, I hope it was worth it." "Alicia:" "You know what?" "It was." "The L.A. Complex 1x06" " Burn It Down Original air date February 14, 2012" "Nurse:" "You're awake." "Connor:" "My hands..." "The night nurses did it." "Apparently you were scratching at your stitches." "Connor:" "Stitches?" "How bad is it?" "Nurse:" "It's uh..." "I'll have the doctor come in and talk to you." "Why can't you just tell me?" "Doesn't it say on that chart there?" "How bad is it?" "How many stitches?" "Hey..." "Hey..." "Look at me." "What's your name?" "Pat. (Chuckles) Hey, Pat." "Haven't you ever broken the rules before?" "Just read me the chart." "It'll be our little secret." "The doctor will be with you in a minute." "(Phone rings)" "Alicia: (Moans)" "(Slaps the alarm clock)" "(Groans, annoyed)" "(Sighs) What." "Joyce:" "Alicia Lowe?" "Mm-hmm." "Joyce:" "Where are you?" "Are you close?" "Close to what?" "I'm the audition coordinator for the Will.I.Am video." "Daniel Diaz gave me very specific instructions to squeeze you in today." "Where are you?" "What?" "Joyce:" "He said you were friends." "Or had mutual friends." "Something." "Alicia:" "Right!" "I'm on the 405 right now!" "My car's been acting up." "It's bumper to bumper." "I would suggest that you hurry up." "Daniel doesn't do favors like this twice." "Alicia:" "I'm on my way!" "Wait!" "What's my call time again?" "Your time was 15 minutes ago, sweetheart." "Alicia:" "I'll be right ther..." "(Joyce hangs up)" "♪" "Nick:" "You'll be fine." "Abby:" "The director's actually gonna be at this one, so I have to kill it." "They like you, that's why they're calling you back." "You need to stop thinking about it." "Sabrina:" "Nick?" "Nick:" "Uh, Sabrina." "You work here?" "Uh, some... some of the time, yeah." "Did you get my text this morning?" "Nick:" "Well, my phone's been acting... this is Abby." "I told you about Abby." "I think I mentioned her, Abby." "This is the one I mentioned." "Uh, Sabrina's in the Just For Laughs showcase with me tonight." "So that's who she is..." "I'll see you there." "I'll probably be there around seven;" "I like to keep it casual." "Uh-huh." "Okay." "Well, goodbye now." "Bye." "Nice to meet you." "Yeah, you too." "Bye." "So who was that?" "Uh, that was Sabrina." "Yeah, but who is she though?" "She comedian." "I know her from the comedies." "Uh, shouldn't you be focusing on your call back?" "(Phone buzzes)" "Dynasty:" "You better be stuck on the 405." "Tariq:" "I'm not coming in today." "Yes you are." "I told you, I quit." "Dynasty:" "King is waiting on you." "I don't care." "Dynasty:" "Do you know who you're talking..." "(Tariq hangs up)" "(Smashes handset, low murmurs of shock)" "He's sick today." "Raquel:" "I know, I'm just not ready to play moms yet." "Why can't they see me for the sister?" "Uh, I'm gonna call you right back." " Yeah!" " 'Cause we wanted to put it in." "Raquel:" "What the hell is Ellen Page doing here?" " Who?" " Was she here?" "I have an exclusive on this script!" "Three months!" "We agreed." "I mean it's really more of a good faith thing than something official." "I mean it's not like we have a contract... or anything." "Kevin:" "Plus, Ellen Page is awesome." "Gary's in." "He's ready to cut a cheque." "Right." "But also..." "Ellen Page is awesome." "Raquel:" "Ellen Page does not mean you get to make this movie, okay?" "You'd still have to find a studio, get financed." "I'm ready." "What's more important to you, making this movie now or maybe making an Ellen Page movie in three years?" "A hundred grand." "What?" "You get us a hundred grand by the end of the day and we know that you're serious." "Otherwise, we gotta go with Ellen Page." "Kevin:" "Right. 'Cause she's awesome." "How bad is it?" "Doctor:" "Well, you've fractured your left cheek bone." "You got multiple facial lacerations of various depths." "All in all, there are about thirty-five stitches in there holding it all together." "But that being said... doesn't seem to be any nerve damage, and I'm really good at stitches, so I doubt you'll even need plastic surgery." "You're gonna be just fine." "I'd like to run a couple more tests, but all signs are pointing to a speedy recovery." "Connor:" "Wait." "Doctor:" "Yeah?" "Can you, um, prescribe me some Zoloft?" "Have you taken it before?" "Yeah, I used to." "Yeah." "Doctor:" "How long have you been off it?" "Um... about six weeks." "Yeah." "I'll get you some right now." "(Shaky breath of relief)" "(Traffic rumbles, birds chirp)" "(Door closes, phone rings)" "Raquel:" " Hey!" "Gary:" " Hey!" "Well, this is unexpected." "Ellen Page got her hands on the script and she wants to do it." "Ellen Page?" "!" "Wow!" "What does she wanna play?" "She wants to play my part, the lead." "Oh, they're not actually gonna take it from us, are they?" "They wouldn't do that." "I like those guys." "They want a hundred grand." "(Chuckles) Don't we all." "Raquel:" "You're a new producer." "They want assurances that we can actually get this thing made." "Well, I'm not just gonna write a cheque for a hundred thousand dollars without a contract, that's insane." "We're gonna lose it." "Then we lose it." "It's a big city, we'll find another script." "I trust these guys." "They're not hustlers." "They're not gonna take your hundred K and run." "I don't know..." "You're right." "I'm just being selfish." "Roles like this don't come along very often." "At least not for me." "I'm just scared I won't find another one." "But you're right, it makes no sense for you to..." "There'll be other scripts, and I'll just... go back to doing what I was doing, I guess." "This isn't just about me." "We're doing this for us." "And you're right..." "I don't feel like I'm being hustled." "Whale Tooth: ♪ I'm afraid that when... ♪" "♪ when I'm older then ♪" "♪ this will all... ♪" "♪ this will all... ♪" "♪ this will all make sense ♪" "Abby: "If you want my opinion, he's an idiot,"" ""he's always been an idiot"" ""and you're an idiot for not knowing"" ""that he's an idiot, idiot."" "And then I exit." "Yeah, no, it's good." "You've got it down cold." "Can we run it once more?" "I know it's a small part, but I need to book this." "This is like my ninth call back." "(Nick's phone chirps) Sure, I just... uh, I gotta talk to Alicia." " Gimme a sec?" " Yeah." "Hello?" "Alicia:" "Do you still have my spare key?" "Nick:" "Where have you been?" "I've wanted to talk..." "Alicia:" "Do you have my spare key?" "!" "Uh... y... yes." "Uh, yeah." "Alicia:" "Okay, great." "I need you to go into my room and get something for me." "Nick:" "Okay, I'm on my way there." "So are you still coming to my show tonight?" "Alicia:" "I can't think about that right now." "Look, I need you to grab a business card, it's beside my bed." "There's an address on it." "I know it's on Melrose around Hauser." "I've driven up and down here eight times." "Nick:" "Okay, okay, it's okay." "Alicia:" "No, it's not okay." "I'm lost, and I'm supposed to be dancing right now and I don't know idea where I'm going." "Nick:" "Relax, I'm gonna get the card, it'll be fine." "So I wanted to..." "How did it go?" "Alicia:" "What do you want, Nick?" "You want details?" "Well, not details, no." "It's just..." "So we can't talk to each other anymore?" "Nick, do you have the card?" "Still looking." "You don't have to tell me what happened, but I just want to know that you're all right." "Nick, I'm fine." "Nick:" "So you have a dance audition?" "I thought you were kinda putting that on hold." "Alicia:" "I never said that." "Nick, do you have the address?" "I thought our whole thing was telling each other everything." "Alicia:" "I am telling you, okay?" "Nick, it went fine." "I'm not asking about it, I'm asking about you." "How are you?" "(Sighs heavily)" "I don't know." "Nick:" "Why don't you just come back to the Lux and we can talk." "Alicia:" "Because I'm late for my dance audition, okay?" "And I don't have time to make you feel good about my decisions!" "9356 Melrose." "Studio 1B." "Thank you." "Listen, we'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?" "Sure." "Alicia:" " Wish me luck!" "Nick:" " Sure." "Come on!" "(Rumbles away)" "Abby:" "Nick!" "Nick!" "Nick!" "Step back!" "Or what?" "Or you don't wanna find out." "I don't think either of us do." "Can I talk to you?" "Abby:" "No." "Leave me alone." "(Birds chirp, everyone's quiet)" "(Awkwardly) Sorry." "I was outta line yesterday, I know, and I never should've..." "But you scared me, and I do stupid stuff when I'm scared." "I scared you?" "I acted foolishly and I'm ashamed of my behaviour." "But if you ever wanna come back in and finish laying down that backing track... that's cool with me." "I would like that." "I'll think about it." "(Sighs) So which one is his room?" "Come on, I just need to talk to him." "He doesn't want to talk to you." "Kaldrick:" "I know, but I need to talk to him." "Please." "Tariq:" "Two-O-four." "(Pool-side chatter resumes)" "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I think I just laid down my own backing track." "(Door closes)" "The label's coming in tomorrow." "I wanna play "Hard Times" for 'em." "It'd be a good opportunity for you to meet everybody." "That's what you came to say to me?" "Tariq, I'm sorry." "All right?" "I'm sorry I can't live the life I wanna live." "I'm sorry I gotta hide and duck behind doors, and..." "I'm sorry I lost you." "I know I keep making things harder than they have to be," "but gimme a chance." "Wes:" "Hey, dude!" "Oh, God!" "I know." "I messed up." "No, no, no, no." "No, I'm sorry." "I just..." "I wasn't ready for that." "I let you down, man." "I know I did." "Look, Connor, just..." "I just want to thank you for everything that you've done for me." "Okay." "And I know what you have to do." "I get it." "What're you talking about?" "I know you have to write me out." "Write you out?" "Man..." "I'm gonna write all this in." " Really?" " Next episode," "Patrick's gonna get into a massive car accident." "The hot shot doctor's gonna have to give up control and he becomes a patient in his own critical unit." "Are you kidding me?" "This stuff writes itself." "So I'm not fired?" "Fired?" "Do you know how much press this show has gotten out of this?" "You're on deadline." "TMZ, dude." "People are gonna wanna watch this show just to see what we do with you." "Thank you!" "(Awkwardly) Okay..." "(Relieved laugh)" "I'm not gonna let you down, man," "I swear." "Yeah, this is great." "Look, just... get some rest, we can't do this without you." "And we'll see you at work." "Okay." "Thank you." "Tariq:" "I can't believe you came to the Lux." "I mean, it's so public." "You didn't give me much choice." "You wanna get out of here, don't you?" "Me?" "Nah... it's all good." "We can... we can chill here." "Look, I was actually thinking that maybe we should get back to work." "Seriously?" "Tariq:" "Yeah." "We got a track to finish, don't we?" "Hell yeah!" "Yes, we do." "Alicia:" "I'm here!" "Alicia Lowe!" "I'm here!" "Joyce:" "Great!" "They're not." "No!" "I've never missed an audition." "Not true." "I just need five minutes of their time." "They're not here." "You missed it." "Are you sure?" "Can I just see for myself?" "Why are you blocking the door?" "You need to go." "They're here, aren't they?" "Joyce:" "I don't have to..." "I'll let Dan know you stopped by." "Okay, then..." "I block that too!" "That'll clear?" "Is the role mine?" "Kevin:" "It is now." "If every penny of this doesn't end up on the screen," "I will kill you and make it look like a murder suicide." "You will be found naked and dead in a lovers embrace and no one will question it." "I will take your lives if you take advantage of this man and I will get away with it." "We won't let you down." "We're both afraid of you." "What did you have to do to get this?" "He means "thank you."" "(Car rumbles to a stop)" "(Low hum of chatter, set bell rings nearby)" "Hey." "You're amazing." "No way they don't see that." "This is all you." "You're gonna book it." "Yes." " Okay." " Okay?" "Nick, you're great." "I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out." "Ah, well, I'm an acquired taste." "No!" "No, you're kind and you're good, you always say the right thing..." "It's amazing to have someone down here on my side, someone I can trust." "Yeah..." "So... thanks." "Okay, well..." "I'll see you tonight." "Nick:" "Okay." "Abby, wait." "This is not a big deal..." "Um..." "Sabrina, that girl from the coffee shop this morning?" "Yeah." "Uh, you know, we slept together." "Just once and it wasn't a big deal, but I wanted you to know that." "Okay." "Right?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Well, I just wanted things out in the open." "Okay, see you tonight." "Okay." "See you tonight!" "Abby:" "Wait." "Uh, when?" "Hmm?" "Tonight, about eight." "No." "When did you sleep with her?" "Uh, I'm sorry, what?" "It was... yesterday." "We slept together yesterday." "Yeah, well, I saw her in the afternoon" " and then I..." "I..." "I..." " Oh my God!" "We were still keeping it casual," " remember?" " So you banged some chick, and then you came to our apartment and..." "No!" "I showered first!" "That's not why I'm upset." "It just kinda happened and we hadn't talked about..." "Why are you telling me this now, before the biggest audition I've ever had?" "!" "Well, she's gonna be there tonight, and I didn't want it to be weird." "You didn't want it to be weird?" "!" "Well, it's weird, man!" "It's really weird!" "Nick:" "Wait!" "Abby!" "Sorry." "Get back in the car, Nick." "I'm sorry!" "I shouldn't have told you." "Abby:" "No, you should have - last night." "That's when you should've told me!" "Thanks for being on my side." "Nick:" "Abby!" "Abby!" "(Set bell rings, low hum of chatter)" "Vince:" "Call Bernice, tell her to stop sending her niece out." "Hey." "Abby, right?" "Abby:" "Yup." "Any questions before we get started?" "Nope." "All right, why don't we just try one." "Yeah." "Sure." "Ready?" "All right." ""I know I don't have an appointment,"" ""but I really have to get in and see the doctor."" ""The doctor isn't in."" "Abby: "Well, we both know that's..." (Flubs line)" ""We both know..." Sorry." "Um..." "Vince:" "Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there." "Let's just go again, from the top." "But it's probably gonna be about the same." "Vince: (Disbelieving chuckle) Uh..." "Look, I've done this audition nine times already, can't you just watch one of those?" "No." "Abby:" "Can't you just decide based on those past auditions?" "Because my idiot boyfriend just told me he slept with another girl, so I'm not gonna be so great today." "Wow!" "Um..." "Okay, first of all, I'm sorry, that sucks." "But I really need to see you do this audition, Abby." "I mean..." "I like you, you know?" "I do." "That's why you're here, but..." "Abby:" "Yes, yes, everybody likes me." "This town is full of people that like you to your face and forget you to your back." "No one is on your side here!" "Everyone is against you:" "the actresses in the next room mad-dogging me, calling me bitch in their brain, the readers who think they can do it better than I can, the casting directors whose feet I have to kiss just to get to the next room" "and the next room and the next room..." "I've been in eight rooms before this one!" "What're you saying?" "You don't wanna do the audition?" "No, I have, many times." "Why can't that be enough?" "I'm not gonna be good today." "Let's just..." "let's just tape one again." "Nurse:" "That is a lot of flowers for one person." "You're not stealing them from the other patients, are you?" "Just the ones in comas." "(Chuckles)" "Well, all your tests came back and we can discharge you." "Perfect." "Easy, easy, easy." "You're gonna need someone to come and pick you up." "Someone's gotta drive you home." "Who should I call?" "Well, surely one of these flower givers can give you a lift." "You know, my shift is done in twenty minutes," "I could give you a ride... if you want." "♪ Havin' hard times ♪ (Ungh!" ")" "♪ In this crazy town ♪ (Yeah)" "♪ Havin' hard times ♪" "♪ there's no love to be found ♪" "(Rapping) ♪ My album dropped and not even a gold plate ♪" "♪ but when your album flop top producers don't call back ♪" "♪ they say the king of Cali never be back on track ♪" "♪ until Dynasty sent me that kid with that backpack ♪" "♪ they said Kal changed ♪" "♪ 'cause of the crib and the range ♪" "♪ and the whips and the chains ♪" "♪ how he feels is insane ♪ (Come on!" ")" "♪ And I ain't saying it's affected my brain ♪" "♪ but kicking' dirt on my name ♪" "♪ will get your face put in pain (Damn right!" ") ♪" "♪ but then I stop and take a look at the blame ♪" "♪ you see my face in the frame ♪" "♪ 'cause I'm a prisoner of fame ♪" "♪ but I ain't trippin' 'cause that's part of the game ♪" "♪ as long as I stay in my lane ♪" "♪ this mental drain won't go in vain ♪" "♪ havin' hard times in this crazy town ♪" "I'm glad you manned up." "♪ Havin' hard times ♪" "♪ there's no love to be found ♪" "Look, I know I screwed up." "Alicia." "How did you even...?" "I searched the entire building until I found the door with your name on it." "I'm gonna have to call you back, all right?" "Thank you." "I'm not just some girl who says she's a dancer, okay?" "I'm good." "I'm better than good." "And if you give me the chance..." "I'm pretty sure I did give you a chance." "That audition I got you into this morning?" "Real dancers actually show up for those." "I am a real dancer." "I'll have to take your word for it, won't I?" "Look, you seem like a very nice girl, but the auditions are over." "So, if you'll excuse me, I got helicopters to rent." "I have been down here for three years working my ass off trying to book something like this." "Come on, don't tell me that there's nothing I can do." "There has to be something that..." "(hard slap) O 'kay, did I mix up some signals?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" "Daniel:" "You're right, I'm sorry." "Alicia:" "I am not just some..." "No, I know." "You're different." "I did not come to L.A...." "I get it!" "You're a hard worker, okay?" "And you're good, and you're hungry, and you're one-in-a-million." "Well, that's it." "That's the problem, isn't it?" "You are one in a million." "There are a million of you here, and you all want the exact same thing, and you all "want it so bad."" "Like that should make a difference." "I mean, what?" "Do you come to this city, you think it trades on hopes, dreams, "it-factors"?" "I don't even know what an "it-factor" is, all right?" "This city trades on desperation... desperate people just like you, in rooms just like this." "I mean, look at you." "What are you doing?" "I just kissed you, I just propositioned you, and you're still standing there." "You wanna know why?" "Because you still think there might be a chance" "I'm gonna give you a job." "Look, nobody cares how hard you've worked, or how much you've bled." "Don't beg for a job and then slap my face, you can't be desperate and proud." "Pick a side." "(Hard slap)" "(Door slams) Okay." "(Girl sobs, in pain)" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa..." "No, no, no, no, look..." "(street buzzes with chatter)" "(Quietly running through his bits)" "Paul F. Tompkins:" "Hey!" "Don't be nervous, man." "One time, I saw this guy do six full minutes on plastic bags." "You're gonna be fine." "Hi, Paul." "What're you doing here?" "Oh, well, this is a comedy club and I'm a professional comedian." "So I guess the real question is what are you doing here?" "I'm on the bill." "I'm part of the showcase tonight." "So are you doing the showcase too?" "As much as I would love to go to Montreal and smoke cigarettes with the other mimes and euro clowns," "I am needed here." "And so I will be hosting tonight." "Oh!" "Uh... hey, is that the running order?" "Do you know when I'm going on?" "Yeah, let me just take a look." "Oh!" "You are sixth!" "Right in the old sweet spot." " Really?" " Yes!" " That's great." " Yeah." "Up first is some poor son of a bitch named Nick Wagner." "Well, I am Nick Wagner, still." "You're still Nick Wagner?" "!" "Well, how long is your warm-up gonna be?" "Well, let's see." ""Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Wagner!"" "How long was that?" "Like two, three seconds max?" "Maybe two..." "You're not doing a set or anything?" "No, they are paying me in drinks, and I came early." "This is not gonna be my best night." "But this might be the one time you're actually funnier than me." "Probably not, though." "See ya out there!" "(Dryly) See ya." "Always a pleasure." "Always will be, Nick." "Hey!" "What's wrong, secret love?" "I'm going up first, Paul's not doing a warm-up... it's gonna be a disaster." "Feel bad for me, I'm second." "I gotta follow your weak ass." "Look, it's gonna be fine, worst case scenario:" "you don't have to go to Canada." "I told Abby about us and she..." "Oh... why would you do that?" "It seemed like a good idea at the time." "I can't think of any situation where that would be a good idea." "Yeah, she was pretty upset." "Did she downgrade you from casual?" "Yup." "To mistake." "Mm." "So does that mean" "I can call you my boyfriend now?" "Oh... uh..." "You are so green." "Why do I like that?" "What fetish is that?" "Have a good show." "(Phone rings)" "(Low hum of airport chatter)" "Man:" "Next!" "Hi, I'm Abby Vargas." "You called my name." "I'm on standby for a flight to Toronto." "(Doorbell rings)" "Gary:" " Hey." "Raquel:" " Hi." "(Gary gives Raquel a kiss)" "Hey, what do think of the Cornish game hen?" "Impulse buy at Trader Joe's." "I'm not hungry." "That's gonna make dinner a little one-sided." "I can't stay." "Why?" "I need to give this back to you." "What?" "They're going with Ellen Paige?" "Just take it." "Come in." "Stay." "I saw you in a group." "I knew you were lonely... and rich... and we wanted to get this movie made, and I thought if I could get close to you that you would give us the money." "I used you." "I know." "You kn..." "I'm not an idiot." "The only reason you started talking to me is because you wanted my money." "And you're right, I was lonely, so I figured, why not?" "That's what it was." "But I don't think that's what it is now." "Am I wrong?" "Well, that's why you're back here with the cheque;" "'cause you feel it too." "No, I don't." "You're lying." "I know you, Raquel." "You don't." "How can you say that?" "I'm not even an alcoholic." "I just went to those meetings to network." "Well, that may be the case, but you still have a hole in you, just like me, and you're trying to fill with work, and God knows what else, and it isn't working." "Just take the cheque." "You must be so tired." "Please, just take it back." "I don't want it back." "Don't leave..." "Raquel:" "I can't stay." "Gary:" "Just hang on." "I don't care how it started..." "I don't!" "I care about right now." "(Fire alarm goes off)" "You should get that." "Let it burn." "Please, don't!" "(Raquel's footsteps recede as fire alarm beeps)" "Ladies and gentlemen, how do you know when you have failed at a career?" "Is it when you're asked to host a showcase of no-name comedians, hoping to go to a foreign country, and you're being paid in drinks?" "Well, I'm no House, M.D., but I'm beginning to figure out that maybe my life is not going the way" "I would have preferred that it go." "Ready?" "(Nervously) Here's hopin'!" "Any words of wisdom?" "Don't mess this up." "It's really important." "Oh." "Thank you for that." "That was... (Patting him) Sure!" "Paul:" "Yeah." "I think that's about all the time I'm gonna do, right?" "(Phone chimes)" "(Crowd at comedy club applauds)" "Paul:" "Ladies and gentlemen, let's kick this show off in a very carefully considered order, please welcome your first comedian," "Mr. Nick Wagner!" "Woo!" "(Audience claps and cheers)" "(Phone rings)" "I'm not coming to your show!" "Vince:" "What?" "Hello?" "Nick?" "Vince:" "No, it's the super handsome dude you had a total meltdown in front of this morning." "Abby:" "Hi!" "Yes, uh..." "Hello." "Sorry about that." "Listen, uh..." "Abby," "I got you on speaker phone here;" "I'm here with the other producers." "Look, here's the deal:" "I like you, but you've gotta convince the suits here that you're not a total crazy person." "You think you can do that for us?" "I'm at the airport." "I'm quitting L.A." "Well, that's good enough for us." "Are you offering me the part?" "Vince:" "That's exactly what I'm doing." "(Huge sigh of relief)" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Thank you so much!" "Vince:" "Listen, do you mind not dating anybody until we're done shooting?" "'Cause I need you on your A-game." "Yes!" "Yes, yes, of course." "My vagina's closed." "Vince:" "Okay, good." "I took you off speaker phone there because, you know," "I don't want anyone to change their mind." "Congratulations." "Have a good night." "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" "(Sighs)" "If you're casting your fantasy strangler, why not go all the way?" "You know, go get yourself a UFC, Vin Diesel-lookin' dude, with like a face tat and a van with no windows." "Why pick the guy who looks like a malnourished James Franco?" "(Audience laughs)" "In general, I have no idea what I'm doing with women." "There's this girl I'm kinda in love with right now, but she wants to "keep it casual."" "Which is confusing... because you know what's actually not casual in any way, shape or form?" "Having a conversation about keeping it casual." "(Audience laughs)" "Yeah." "Very opposing principles there." "Like I've been in relationships where it's been casual and you know how I knew that?" "Because we didn't have an important conversation about the state of our relationship;" "that's how." "Yeah, no talking." "We'd just have sex all day in a lazy side-spoon position, usually facing the television." "(Audience laughs)" "Yeah, that's how you make it clear to someone you want to keep it casual." "Don't have a formal talk about the casualness of things;" "that doesn't make any sense!" "That's like wearing suit pants underneath your sweatpants!" "(Audience laughs)" "Uh, (Laughs) that's my time, guys!" "I'm Nick Wagner!" "Thanks." "(Audience applauds)" "Paul:" "Ladies and gentlemen, the surprisingly not terrible, Nick Wagner!" "What did you just do?" "What?" "The casual stuff, that's my bit." "No it's not." "We came up with that bit together when we were in bed." "I have been doing that bit for six months." "You've never worked your act into conversation to impress someone?" "No." "None of my bits are good enough." "You didn't even do it right!" "You messed up all the wording, and I was gonna open with it!" "Look, I'm sorry." "I really needed this." "Hey..." "I..." "I didn't..." "Paul F. Tompkins:" "...Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your next comedienne," " Sabrina Taylor!" " Hey!" "I'm going to burn your life down." "(Audience applauds)" "♪" "Raquel:" "Well... the good news is you have a career as a character actor." "Said the 30-year-old woman." "With age comes wisdom." "I'll take beauty." "Yeah, and smash it with a bottle." "Doctor's say I'm gonna be pretty as ever." "And by pretty do you mean dumb?" "Beats being a 30-year-old woman." "You said that one." "Thanks for coming." "Raquel:" "I had to pick something up from the pharmacy anyway." "You okay?" "No." "You?" "(Voice quivers) No." "Hey!" "You know how I forgot your birthday?" "Mm-hmm." "I really wanted to make it up to you, so I got you a thousand flowers... and a Valentine bear for some reason." "Raquel:" "Well, that's very thoughtful." "Yeah." "How come we're no good together?" "Who says that?" "We do." "Right." "(Muffled sound of phone ringing nearby)" "Eddie: (muffled) Your phone's ringing, you want me to answer it?" "(Muffled telephone ring)" "Eddie: (muffled) Alicia?" "Alicia?" "Hey, your phone's ringing, you want me to get it?" "Could be important, right?" "(Phone continues ringing)" "Hello?" "Woman:" "Alicia Lowe?" "Yeah." "Woman:" "This is Jane Pfeiffer," "I'm the choreographer for the new Usher tour." "Okay..." "Jane:" "You auditioned for us a little over a month ago." "Yeah, no, I remember." "Jane:" "And we'd love for you to join us, if you're available." "It's an eight month world tour." "Please say "yes"!" "Can I call you back?" "Jane:" "Yeah, sure." "Call me anytime." "Thanks." "Jane:" "Thank you." "Eddie:" "You okay?" "I can't tell if that was good news or bad news." "I booked the Usher tour." "Eddie:" "You did?" "!" "Alicia, that's amazing!" "You see?" "You stuck with it, you believed in yourself, and all your hard work paid off!" "Oh, I'm so proud of you!" "That's great!" "♪ Havin' hard times ♪" "(Rapped line) ♪ two-step to this one, baby!" "♪" "Best track I've done in years." "Yeah, it's getting there." "You did your thing on this one, T." "I'm proud of you." "You gave me something to write about, and I thank you for that." "Where is everybody?" "Sent 'em home." "Told them I wanted to work late and that you'd give me a ride." "Did you now?" "I did." "You know, I was thinking... when I go on tour later this year," "I want to bring you with me." "What?" "I mean, you can DJ in between acts or..." "I dunno, something." "We'll figure that part out." "But I know I want you with me." "I wanna build a photo album like those old folks had." "Build a life." "Just us." "Dynasty:" "Hey, Kal..." "Kaldrick:" "What the hell are you doin'?" "Please don't..." "Kal, don't, please." "Kal?" "Kal!" "(Hard punch)" "Kaldrick:" "Agh!" "Mother eff!" "You little faggot!" "You faggot!" "Faggot!" "Faggot!" "You faggot!" "Get off of me!" "I'm gonna kill you!" "I'm gonna kill you!" "(Tariq grunts)" "Get off of me!" "Get off of me!" "Get off of me!" "(Fridge items clank)" "(Connor sighs)" "(Flame whooshes)" "(Muffled sound of crickets chirping outside)" "(Poster crackles)" "(Flames flare and crackle)" "(Flames crackle)" "(Flames whoosh and crackle, spreading)" "(Flames whoosh and crackle, spreading further)" "(Fire roars out of control)" "♪" "♪ I'm afraid that when I'm older ♪" "♪ this will all make sense ♪" "♪" "♪ I remember when we were young ♪" "♪ and we found ourselves ♪" "♪ living recklessly with abandon ♪" "♪ we felt like time stood still ♪" "♪ felt like time stood still ♪" "♪ felt like time stood still ♪" "(Outside, everyone cheers and applauds)" "(Song goes into a key and tempo change)" "(Party buzzes with chatter and laughter)" "♪ I'm afraid that when ♪" "♪ when I'm older then ♪" "♪ this will all, this will all, ♪" "♪ this will all make sense ♪" "(Song continues, muffled up on the roof)" "Nick:" "I'm sure the roof has better square footage, but it gets hella drafty up here." "Abby:" "I'm waiting for Tariq to get home." "Hopefully, he'll let me crash, but if not, at least it's a room with a view." "So I'm an idiot." "Yes, you are." "I'm not even that mad that you slept with her, it's that you told me right before my audition." "How did it go?" "Terrible." "I'm really sorry." "I know I can't really..." "I booked it." "You...?" "I booked it." "That's amazing." "It shoots in the next couple of weeks." "So I'll be able to afford my own place here... at least for a while." "You know, if uh..." "How'd your showcase go?" "Uh, poorly." "Yeah, burnt some bridges, bunch of comedians hate me now." "I'm sorry." "Yeah, I booked it." "What?" "They offered me a slot in the festival." "You're not the only one who can play bad news/good news, you know." "You know, I almost left today." "Now, I can't imagine being anywhere else." "Look at it, trying to play hard to get, and acting all cool." "I feel like we're on the edge of something amazing." "You know you can... you're... you don't have to crash in Tariq's room." "That's a bad idea." "Besides, my director told me not to." "Uh, no, you're right." "I gotta focus on my career." "♪"