"Claude François was electrocuted this afternoon when changing a lightbulb in his bathroom." "Claude François is emotion." "Claude François... is pure poetry!" "Doesn't this make you think of Brassens?" "That turd that rhymes balls with falls?" "I lost my balls In one of my falls." "Even I can do that!" "I've been told you're quite difficult." "Listen, if I were Sardou" "I'd punched you in the face." "This interview is over!" "And now ladies and gentlemen the story of the greatest Claude François ever!" "My name's Jean Baptiste Cousseau, But they call me Couscous." "When I started as Claude François it was downhill." "There were too many of us." "Then came Bernard..." "and I had to surrender." "I wasn't bad technically." "But I wasn't good with girls." "So I took Michel Polnareff by the name of "Michel Polnar-G"." "Girls prefer him." "He's more enigmatic, mysterious, and sexy." "I did all of Bernard's opening act shows." "Those were the days." "Gala after gala, tour after tour." "Simply put we were at the top for five years with Les Bernadettes, our dancers." "One day, in Claude François' Moulin in Dannemois... they auctioned Claude's stuff." "The Bellinda outfit, 50,000." "Going once..." "Going twice... sold for 50,000 to the gentleman over there." "Object no. 28." "An exceptional piece: the original "Le Téléphone Pleure" telephone..." "From 1947." "Starting at 50,000." "Bernard was always a skinflint." "But when it was about his passion hothing could stop him." "Bernard bought that phone for a sum that could've bought a house." "110,000, 120,000... 130,000 for the gentleman." "130.000 going once... going twice... sold for 130,000 to the gentleman." "It stays in France!" "I never intended to buy it." "I was just curious." "But when I saw it I couldn't resist." "Véro, it's like a fund." "Do you think I'm stupid?" "150,000 Francs for a phone!" "A fund?" "Véro, Bernard's wife, didn't agree." "Her family has had debts for several generations." "What phone?" " Frédérique Barkoff's." "Who is she?" "The sing-along kid from Le Téléphone Pleure." "Moron." "I'll show you." "It's the phone from the cover!" "Véro liked Julien Clerc." "That says enough." "Stupid Couscous..." "Julien Clerc..." "Might as well listen to Michel Sardou." "So we don't have anything left?" "Do we really?" "I say we're rich." "It's in Argus!" "Véro told Bernard to choose either Claude François or her." "Bernard picked Véro." "They never saw each other again." "5 YEARS LATER" "Mr Chambon, if I deny you that check I want..." "How will I feed my children?" "I don't want to starve the little Chambons." "I just want to control your debts." "It's more like a bottomless pit than a debt." "Here." "Look." "Just this month, not that I care, you bought 24..." " That's my own problem." "I will spend my money like I want to!" "In this case it's our money, Mr Chambon." "I was listening." "That he's off to California..." "How are you, man?" "I want french fries." "Welcome to "Marc et Olivier" real estate." "I'm exhausted." "This is tonight's 7th visit." "We can't even have dinner uninterrupted." "Do you realise we are the sole couple in the universe that lives in a model home?" "If you sign we will deliver in 6 months." "Very quickly." "Who are they?" "Nothing, ignore them." "But it's the cheapest rent in all France, isn't it?" "I'm tired of living in a model home." "With a model husband." "Soon we'll move." "Just wait a little longer." "East your fries." " I'm going back to mom." "Enjoy, Bernard." "And our prices are very competitive." "A house like this is only 635,000 Euros!" "Can we apply for newly weds support?" "Welcome back to the 2nd part... of this show with a most extraordinary guest:" "Evelyne Thomas." " Thanks for having me here." "You've come to tell us about and issue you feel strongly about." "The night of the imitators." " What exactly is this?" "It's the grand finale for all showbiz star imitators... with 100,000 Euros of prize money for the winner." "With this year the long awaited final of Claude François'." "Last year's winner, a Claude François... will compete again." " There he is." "No, that's Claude Francis, the public favourite." "Do you have a favourite artist?" "I'm not allowed to, but there are some that stand out." "There are some real stars amongst the imitators." "Like Claude David, last year's winner." "He's doing Cloclo again..." "Welcome to "Marc et Olivier" real estate." "Dad, what's an imitator?" "And imitator?" "What's an imitator?" "Well..." "It's from... it's a Greek God," "Sosiris." "Who was someone... without a personality." "There's a yard for the children, which is great in summer." ""Marc et Olivier" real estate, good evening." "Our office is closed at the moment." "Please call back later." "Is this the best Claude François of a generation?" "Bernard, it's me." "Couscous!" "Seen Evelyne Thomas on TV?" "Time to get back on stage!" "OK, bye." "Say hi to Véro." "I never saw him again!" "It's him who calls me at the bank and at home." "Why are you telling me this?" "Where did he get your phone number?" " I don't know." "That guy is crazy... obsessed!" "And I have nothing to do with that any more!" "I'm warning you!" "Don't do anything stupid!" "No." "He's a bum" "You know what?" "He's jealous." "He's jealous of our good fortune." "Of our joy in life." "Are you happy?" "Yes you are." "Me too." "It makes people jealous." "You scared me!" "Are you crazy?" "How are you?" "Fine, and you?" "It's been so long - 5 years." "Sully-sur-Loire, 1998." "A kiss?" "Three kisses." "Couscous, I have to talk to you." "I have all the outfits... of all shows by Maritie and Gilbert Carpentier." "Look:" "Carlos, '74, Petula Clark, '78 Michel Fugain, '73." "Feel it." "It's wild silk." "Michel Fugain never should've quit Big Bazaar." "The way he danced with boots all the way up to his balls." "Lalanne just copied off him." "It's slightly more complicated." " Sit down." "Want a drink?" "No, listen." "Cheers!" "Do you live here?" "Seen the rent?" "No one tells you anything?" " Nobody knows I exist." "Wnat something to eat?" "Seen this masterpiece?" "Claude only wore it once, for Bélinda, Februari 11, 1973." "Isn't your Orangina from Bélinda '73?" "Listen up, Couscous." "I don't want you to call me any more." "Not on your couch." "No." "Not on the couch, not at my house." "I don't want to hear about that night of the imitators." "Seen the poster I found?" "From our show in Chaingy?" "Listen." "I quit." "I have a job now." "A wife and a kid." "It's over for me." "Do you understand?" "I'm a working man?" " so?" "Never mind." "Deal?" "It was good to see you." "I'll call you." "It would be nice if we went out for dinner." "What?" "Haven't you got a little bigger?" "No." "It's enough." "By the way, that jacket is a fake." "Claude never would've worn glitters... on top of a Sumatra." "Never." "Véro?" "Welcome to "Marc et Olivier" real estate." "Bernard Frédéric, customer service." " Good evening Bernard!" "How do you like the banker life?" "Who is this?" " It's Claude!" "What Claude?" " Claude François!" "Do you know who's going to the night of the imitators?" "You, Bernard!" "Definitely!" "Yes, you!" " This can't be." "Claude... is it you?" "Are you deaf?" "I told you!" "No!" "Couscous, if this is a joke I don't find it funny." "Listen, if you can't handle it just tell me!" "You'll be a Claude François again." "Find your dancers, work out... something that wouldn't hurt." "And you'll win." "Let's go." "Claude, listen..." " Dammit!" "What?" "What if I told you that Claude called?" "What if I told you that Claude called?" "To get back on stage." "What I wanted to ask..." "Do you know where my star shaped buttons are?" "What buttons?" "The ones I wore at Tigy in Februari '95." "No." "Yes, the real Bernard was back." "All we needed were our dancers." "And for Bernard to practice for the night of the imitators." "Finally a new tour of "Bernard Frédéric and his Bernadettes"." "And I was Bernard's coach again." "His father's dead?" " March 9, '61." "No, March 19th." "To freshen up his memory I played a game with him." "One that we played 5 years ago." "A kind of quiz." "Favourite food?" " Lobster bouillon and wine." "By what chef?" " Leduc." "Jeannette left him." "When and where?" "1962, Bécaud." "Bécaud, that bastard." "It'll be strange seeing Jacqueline again." " She called." "Will she accept?" "She sounded happy." "She was a beautiful woman and a great dancer too." "Yes." "Very beautiful." "Very elegant." "I guess I can tell you now." "She and I..." "Yeah, alright." "Ring the bell." "Well?" "Isn't this great, Bernard?" "Yes, excellent." "I've been waiting so long for this." " What about us?" "Yes, we've been through a lot." "The Concert at Monsieur Meuble in '92." "That rocked!" "With the Catherinettes in Garches, on the parking lot of Bricorama in '95." "Thet day Michel Delpech was sexing me up." "Not everyone can say that." "Until Boy Régis made me an offer five years ago." "The Boy George imitator." "All they wanted to do is sleep with eachother." "So I left." "Yes, he wasn't as gay as the original." "I bet it's part of his failure." "Fine, so..." "I work at Pantashop." "As an interim sales manager." "It's time to go." "Sorry, I'm boring you." "Not at all." "You look just like a Bernadette." "Let's go." "What will we do at the night of the imitators?" "What night?" "of the imitators." "Why?" "The night of the imitators?" "Did you come to say goodbye in this clothes?" "We just came over to chat." "With those stupid glasses on!" "I've had enough." "Get out!" "Out!" "attack, My Way!" "Attack!" "Stupid My Way!" "Get out, you freaks." "Bastards!" "What a stupid idea, calling your dog My Way." "Usually I can understand but My way is blasphemy." "You should respect the cultural excess." "Cultural exception!" "One thing is true." "You really look stupid with those glasses." "Just one month to go We better hurry." "Now what?" "We can be a duo." "What song will we do?" "Let's do Le Téléphone Pleure." "Excellent!" "But where do we find the sing-along girl?" "Don't worry." "I have an idea." "Three, four, come on!" "No, Sébastien, this pencil isn't for fun." "Respect the tempo." "Again." "Three, four." "You're the one from last time." "Let me get her." "I think she's in the kitchen." "No, not in the kitchen, she's taking a bath." "You've told me that 4 times." "I don't care if it takes all afternoon... but you will learn this song." "Three, four!" "I'll get her." "She's taking a bath." "I don't know if she'll come." "Fine." "Now me." "Let me sing holding the horn." "Tell her, please..." "look at me." "Tell him that it's important and tell him to wait." "It's me!" "What's up?" "We're doing his homework." "3 times 7?" " 21." "Screw her." "Let's go." "Tell him that it's important" "And to wait." "And that he'll wait" "What's he waiting for?" "Stop crying." "It's the phone that cries." "What's he waiting for?" "Sébastien, concentrate!" "You don't understand!" "What's this about?" "A papa that wants to talk to mama but mama doesn't want to." "So she says she's taking a bath Understand?" "What did she tell him?" "Think." "What?" "His mama tells him!" "She tells papa you're a filthy bastards." "Come, sweetheart." "You just tore an 8000 Franc sheet." "How much?" "Forget it." "I'm warning you." "Do what you want but leave Sébastien alone." "Don't complain to me when he's behind in school." "And he waits..." "Spread your legs wide, Mrs Estrada." "My husband thinks he's Barthez is." "The goalie." "He speaks Marseillan and jumps anything that moves." "A psychotherapist?" "Could he help Bernard?" "He sure helped me." "Dr. Dandieu taught me to accept my baldness." "Sorry, but a guy named Johnny wants to see you." "No." "Johnnys on wednesday only, with the Elvises." "He insists." "Tell him to come back tomorrow morning." "I bet there is a Mike Brant that commits suicide tonight." "In short, you think you're Claude François?" "No, I think I'm Bernard Frédéric." "Claude François is my job." " Right." "Well... it used to." "Because, as you say... people think that Claude François was a trend." "But it's not." "It's a job." "And a tough job too." "Come to think about it Claude François... has always been Claude François." "It's far more practical." "I, however... have had to struggle to keep up." "Bernard Frédéric, are you prepared... to go into therapy with me?" "What is it you dos?" "What are you?" "A Doctor?" "Psychiatrist?" "Psychotherapist." "Where's the proof?" "Did you get a diploma that says:" ""I am a psychotherapist"?" "From another psychotherapist?" "But besides the piece of paper thereis nothing that tells me you're not an impostor." "So?" "You're an impostor." "So am I, your secretary... and the Johnny guy." "We're all impostors." "Does Bernard Frédéric keep you from doing your job?" "No." "Do me a favour and don't keep Bernard Frédéric... from doing Claude François." "This is for your kids." "Relax." "It's no big deal." "Your husband should continue to identify himself." "Let him find his identity again..." "By shaking off the alter ego of his imitator." "Let him go." "He will see how absurd his comeback really is." "Dammit!" "What's keeping him?" "Girls..." "I can imagine... how you must feel today." "Because you are finally... in the waiting room of fame and fortune." "Many will come but only few will succeed." "Four of you." "Four, not five..." "Will have the immense privilege... of becoming a Bernadette." "Behind me... the singing chairs of Bernard Frédéric." "Two will sit right of Christ." "the other two left of Couscous." "Couscous... is he the filthy pig that never stops eating... but you have to respect him, just like me... because he'll always be the best Michel Polnareff... of his generation." "You, with the squid on your head." "Do you think that's funny?" "Get your stuff and get out of here!" "Good luck, everyone" "Sylvie Dubertrand, 13, Emile Paul Street, Bourg-la-Reine." "Date of birth 14/04/79... brown eyes, 1 meter..." "Fine." "Been to dance academy?" "Yes." "Good." "Everybody listen." "Here you don't say just "yes"" "You'll say "Yes, Bernard"." "Do you understand?" "I always want a "Yes" followed by "Bernard"." "They are inseperable." "Like Stone and Charden." "Is this clear?" "You can't say "Hi Stone"." "But always "Hi Stone and Charden"." "Understood?" "Yes." "Get out." "Next!" "Brigitte Leclerc." "A relative of Evelyne?" "Take that out of your mouth." "Are you a relative of Evelyne?" "No." "Too bad." "I love Evelyne." "She's a friend." "Tell me, Brigitte Leclerc..." "You have a weird body." "Are you on drugs?" "No." "Yes you do." "ln '72, the year you were born, Claude recorded his biggest hit." "I'm just helping you, it's the name of a season" "Autumn." " Autumn just begon for you." "Leave." "Don't say goodbye to the others." "Next!" "Next!" "Who's this?" " It's you." "No. "It's you, sir"" "It's you sir." "you, sir who?" "You sir, Bertrand Frédéric." "Bertrand Frédéric." "You og join Bertrand Frédéric then." "Out of here." "Next!" "It's sad." "House, funk, rap..." "Yeah." "But Claude, no!" "But we've still got two left." "You need four don't you?" "Logistics, that's Bernard Frédéric's job." "If we want to have four dancers we will have four." "OK?" "And you." "No more cookies for you." "I've seen you eat." "You have to be strict from now on." "Let's eat." "Don't you ever stop?" "You had a bucket of friees!" "Do you have a tapeworm?" "Did Polnareff eat that much?" " Back in '74, yeah." "Missonier... rejected." "Delbosc... rejected." "Léon Blanc's files, out of here." "The guy has money in th bank." "Exactly 627.57 Euros." "I'm anticipating." "I'm preventing." "He'll have to pay his bills." " So what?" "Swirl round." "Swirl round!" "You're hired." "Already?" "I'm just an intern." "I'm not your professor, Odile." "I'm an artist." "My heart beats, my nose smells..." "I decide." "That's Bernard Frédéric." "You'll get to know me." "Couscous, it's Bernard." "I found the perfect girl." "She's the bomb!" "With eyes that look right through you!" "Hot like a stove." "Unseen." "Pure dynamite!" "No no, stop." "That's shit." "Let's call it a day." "Go home." "And study your routine." "Vanessa, Come here." "What do I tell them?" " Don't know." "It's a lost case!" "He's started casting Clodettes." " And us?" "We've been rehearsing for months!" "We can't give up now." "You don't know him." "He's not an imitator but a clone, a reincarnation." "What can I do?" "What if he blows the audition?" "Claude, these are..." "Odile, Anne and Nadége, my new Bernadettes." "Girls," "Take your hats off and say hi to Claude." "Pleased to meet you, sir." " Hello, Mr François." "Hi!" "Don't be rude." "Say hello like a lady." "Mello Mr François." " Good." "Plase be quiet." "Previous territory of Claude François 1964-1978" "Why did Claude become what he was?" "They never told me." " Each morning he made his...?" "His breakfast?" " Breakfast!" "Anne!" "Each morning he made his...?" "Bed?" "His round through the park!" "Jogging." "When the Delpechs, the Daves and the Sardous..." "Came home drunk" "Claude was jogging at the break of dawn." "You should follow his example." "No alcohol in this team." "Don't forget." "Magnolia..." " Forever!" "What did you say?" "What did you say?" "Claude's suffering horribly... but then Jacques Rouve, a great composer, gives him a song." "A little fantasy." "Claude's genius comes to life." "He turned those little words into a dramatic song to help him express the bitterness of his divorce." "And this song became..." "I don't have time for your women's stories." "No, it's not for me." "It's for you." "Wat is er?" "I called Moulin... and they told me Bernard Frédéric was here." "That's me." "And you're interrupting my class." "What do you want?" "I heard you need a dancer?" "No, a Bernadette." "I like your work." " Yeah right." "Which song was composed here by this pool?" "Comme d'Habitude." "When?" "1967." " Who for?" "France Gall." "What do you do for a living?" "Odile, Nadége, Anne... meet..." "Vanessa." "Our newest Bernadette." "Have you started the choreography for Bélinda yet?" "We don't know what's on this year's programme." "I know, but..." "And for Alexandria," "It's perfect isn't it?" "Well, it's not that great." "Go." "Please just go." "I have to work, dammit!" "Get out!" "Fine." "The dancer problem was solved." "Two more things to worry about." "Time." "Only 3 weeks left." "Money." "Fortunately Bernard found a great sponsor." "What I..." "What the bank can propose..." "Is the alternative car." "What's that?" "Yes." "What is it?" "Exactly." " Let me tell you." "It's a money reservation... that you can use... howver you please." "Stop." "Just like a bird." "From 2,000 to 30,000 Euros." "You will have monthly installments... which ofcourse also allow you... to deposit on your standard account." "There are three options for us... well, for you:" "Safe, balanced, or agressive." "Safe, balanced, or agressive." "What do you choose?" " Don't know." "Agressive." "Agressive!" "Agressive!" " The 30,000 Euros one." "I'll take the agressive solution." "Yes." " Agressive." "We get it." " I'll take agressive." "Let's have agressive." "It took me long to decide but now I know." "Shut up." "So, it's 30,000 Euros then." "Let me go over your file again." "You're unemployed... with no address..." " That depends." "You haven't done your taxes." "Bastard!" "And you're not allowed to open an account since 6 years." "Please shut up." "Mr Cousseau, please sign here." "I'm signing." "Thank you." "Good to do business." " Likewise." "Goodbye, Mr Cousseau." " Have a nice day." "The pleasure was all mine." "Goodbye." "Your bank really rocks." "I take the agressive solution!" "Agressive!" "M.r Frédéric, allow me to remind you... the meeting starts at 12 sharp." "Won't you be there?" "Yes." "I will." "Are you OK?" "You're all sweaty." "Yes, I'm kind of hungry." "Sébastien!" "What are you doing?" "Stay out of dad's room and give me the phone." "Claude François doesn't want to talk to me." "What did you expect, the phone isn't even connected." "There's nobody to talk to." "Why are you shouting?" "Say..." "I love your pyjamas." "It's a men's pyjamas." "Just like dad's." "Just like dad's." "When I grow up I'll be your imitator." "No, you can't." "Why not?" "Because I'm nobody." "Let's pee like a man and go to sleep." "We never went on a tour." "Honey, listen." "Bernard had the most delicate yet to come:" "tell Véro that he left on a well organised tour." "How about your job?" " I took an inpaid leave." "For the third time this year." "Do you want to get fired?" "I know." "But I have to." " You're not alone anymore." "You'll mess it all up." "Look at you.. that shit." "Have you decided?" "What's "Texas beef à la Camarguaise?" "Fine choice." "It's a steak with lemon on top of..." "And the menu of the day?" " Yes we have one too." "We'll take two." "Listen..." "It's a new start of something in our relation." "I still say no." " Please." "Regarding the menus we have two today." "One's 19.60 with a starter," "And one at 13.60." "We'll have the 13.60 menu." "If I win..." "Chicken, lamb, ribs?" "Listen to me." "If we can choose anyway... give us some of everything." "What was that all about?" "Why?" "I wanted to show him hes found his superior." "Him and his menu "Volonté"." "Can't I do what my Volonté wants?" "Isn't my Volonté great?" "Do what you want but there are limits." "Wait, Véro... wait for me." " Is the lady leaving?" "Is there a problem you moron?" "You and your little plates?" "Do you think Bernard Frédéric's eyes are larger than his mouth?" "You don't know me!" "What are you looking at?" "Do I have a dragon's tail?" "No!" "Look at your plates then." "Fine, let's start over again." "Bring me the menu "Sleepless Nights"." "I want meat like it's raining meat." "And a pile of mash and gravy." "Tell your chef Bernard Frédéric wantch to set up camp here!" "I did Claude François all my life, And now I'm Carlos for a night." "And if I get sick..." "I'll be getting sick here." "Understand?" "We've been driving alongside the highway for two hours." "Why not take the highway?" " It's a toll road." "Bernard Frédéric will never pay 1 Euro for toll." "I'm a man of principles." "But don't worry sweethearts... because we're on fire." "Johnny Halliday is playing in the Stade de France... but he's just a toy compared to us." "Vanessa, I'm making you captain... of the Bernadettes tonight." "Wait a minute..." "Silence!" " Thanks!" "Thank you, Bernard." "Béziers, Maine-sur-Loire, Nevers..." "I visited them all in the Magnolia World Tour 2004... of Bernard Frédéric and his Bernadettes." "Thanks!" "Thanks everyone!" "Thank you, Paris!" "Thank you, Paris!" "After our triumph in Crystal Palace I had organised an after party concert... in Pizzeria Renato, a great pizza place... to finish our tour with a bang." "Funny, isn't it?" "No." "I was in first gear." "Let me take your suitcase." "Where is it?" " Over there..." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Follow me." "Renato, where's the stage you promised?" "You have the entire restaurant..." " We can't perform like this." "We've organised the Miss Calzone pageant like this for 17 years... and no one ever complained and neither will you." "Where is the bathroom?" " Right at the back." "We could try..." "and build a stage." "Put a couple of tables together." "Fine." " And where will we dance?" "There's no room." "Alright..." "No, no, no." "Listen up Herr Calzone..." "Would Johnny Halliday sing in the Parc des Princes..." "Without the fireworks?" "No!" "And so Bernard Frédéric Won't perform in Pizzeria Renato... without his Bernadettes." "OK?" "No, we're not leaving." "We came to perform, and we will." "Just tell me if I'm boring you." "May I?" "I'm saving my energy." "Fine, but I'd like it if you could shift into a higher gear." "Yes indeed, it may seem slow." "but that's what it is." "I'm on the tempo of Mal Aimé... about to do Bélinda!" "Right after that to Si J'Avais Un Marteau." "Mama!" "Are you alright, dear?" "I'm sorry." "Why didn't dad pick me up?" "Recently Lavilliers was looking for trouble." "We fought..." "with the old salami." "Where is he?" "Out of my way!" " Why?" "Don't bother." "Véro!" "You alright?" "You won't believe it." "We were practicing..." "OK I'm having an affair." "And now?" "You're not going to bitch about that, are you?" "All stars have mistresses." "Bill Clinton?" "a mistress." "Mick Jagger?" "a mistress." "Napoleon... mistress." "Even Claude." " Fool!" "You're so short sighted." "What did you want?" "A simple life and a faithful husband?" "You deserve better than this, honey." "Véro!" "Wait!" "Véro, wait!" "Let me explain!" "Véro, I don't care about her!" "Wait!" "It doesn't mean anything, just a quick fuck!" "The day of the trials arrived." "Bernard was ready..." "Well, almost." "Listen, Claude..." "Could you do something for me?" "Bernard deserves his success." "Looking at the competition..." "He worked very hard, day and night." "And we hope they will forget about your yéyé period." "It wasn't your best." "Sorry." "The best couple Claude François of France were invited to The Moulin." "Cheb Cloco, Claude David, Jean-Claude François," "Claude Jean-François, Claudus, Claudine," "Claude Rémy, Trash Cloclo!" "Why did you do that?" "You're over." "Finished!" "What's the problem?" "Am I out because I tripped?" "Is that it!" "So what?" "You think Cloclo never fell?" "That he had hydraulic heels?" "Only the cold Cloclo's never fall." "Those disco dorks," "Pencil lickers, you." "Paper and a pencil in your hands!" "What do I care?" "Look, I'm naked!" "Do I need a Cloclo-diploma to entertain you?" "No." "I deserve better." "Because it's not the pencil lickers that made me... but the audience." "And my audience is here tonight." "Claude made my life better... and together with my audience" "I'm making his life better." "The rest is all bullshit." "Here." "Keep it." "He's right!" "Stop already." "He wasn't allowed to get up." "But he did." "Maybe you didn't push him hard enough." "If I didn't..." "Like you said... maybe that's because I didn't like it." "Are you in love?" " Oh shut up." "Listen." "5 years I've been the best Cloclo." "And he's going to take that away from me because of you." "I think you betrayed me." "Dirty bitch." "Dirty bitch?" "And you think you're Cloclo." "You look like Patrick Juvet." "Loser!" "On the one side you're refusing valid checks." "On the other side you're giving credit to a certain Mr Cousseau whose papers are invalid since 1986." "A homeless guy." "And you give him... maximum credit." "Which he broke, by the way." "Is this the money you pay your unpaid holidays with?" "But boss..." "I'm on the verge of a breakthrough." "No, wait..." "I swear that if I make it... the bank can make a profit out of it." "I'll show you." "Imagine it's fixed." "Are you opening a salon?" "I've been selected for the Gala of Imitators by Evelyne Thomas." "What do I care?" "Let me give you an imitation of Evelyne Thomas." "But boss, if I win..." "I assure you I'll return every cent." "Start right now by paying me with your last paycheck." "Thank you, Mr Frédéric." "I think we're done." "Wait." "Who are you talking to?" "Do you know who Bernard Frédéric is?" "Bernard Frédéric, 5 employees, 80 calls per week, 30 fan letters a day." "Bernard Frédéric, 2 liters of sweat each show." "Bernard Frédéric, three fainting women each tour." "Over 12,000 km each year... and 19 buttons." "That's Bernard Frédéric!" "It's a giant add up." "A fighting machine." "Keep the jacket, I won't need it any more." "Welcome to "Marc et Olivier" real estate." " It's me." "Véro, it's me!" "This is not funny!" "It goes away and it will (not) be back." "Enough." "Hi." "We're here for Sébastiens anniversary." "Dad!" "I'll get Véro." "Happy birthday, champion." "Hello." "What is it?" "Open it." "Mama, look." "Cool!" "I'll go get a CD." "It's a CD player." "Why didn't you answer my calls?" "Don't you know?" "Are you seeing someone else?" " No." "Is it the bald guy?" "Nee." "Do I have to kick his ass?" " Forget it." "I'm making you laugh." "Why are playing with my feet?" "I'm asking you to forgive me." "I'll make us coffee." "Wait." "I want to come." "Sébastien." "I have a surprise for you." "Music you like." " Not now." "Ready?" "Is it mama?" "Tell her: "Mama, it's for you"" "You're that Mr from the other day." "I'll get her." "She's taking a bath." "And I don't know if she can come to the phone." "Please tell her tell her that it's important." "And that I'll wait." "Did you upset mama?" "She's always waving her arms..." "And tell me softly:" ""pretend I'm not around"" "Tell me how you're doing." "Do you study your lessons every night?" "Yes." "But mama works so the woman nextdoor takes me to school." "There's only one signature in my book." "Papa does it for the other kids." "But not for me." "Tell her I'm hurt." "For six years already." "That's your age, son." " No, I'm 5." "Tell me you knew mam before." "But she never talks about you." "The telephone's crying." "The telephone's crying." "When she's not coming." "When I tell her:" ""I love you"" "Words fade in the horn" "The telehpone's crying." "Please don't hang up." "Enough." "We were just playing." " PlayingClaude François." "No you want to play Claude François too?" "You want to be like dad?" "No." "Do you want to be on stage, and sing at markets?" "You have a sweetheart at school." "Do you want her to laugh at you?" "Do you want to make her miserable?" "Look at your dad." "At the state he's in." "Don't you love papa?" "No." "Let's go." "Thanks dad, for ruining my birthday!" "Thank you too!" "Can you play Laurent Voulzy next?" "That's fine." "How is Bernard?" "Haven't heard from him." "If he doesn't show up I can't accept him." "We can't reach him." " If he doesn't show he's out." "Let me try again." ""Marc et Olivier" real estate." "Good evening." "Our office is closed right now." "Please call back later." "Bernard, it's me, Couscous." "Are you there?" "Pick up." "Where are you, dammit!" "I'm worried sick." "Your rehearsal is on." "Where are you?" "The girls are with me." "Pick up, dammit!" "Are you there?" "90 minutes late." "That's hardly professional." "Are you Obispo's imitator?" "Yes, why?" "I know him." "He's not like that." "Do you want to know what a real imitator is like?" "Right." "By the way, Pascal stole everything from Michel." "What are you doing?" "Eavesdropping?" "No." "What time is it?" " Don't worry." "Plenty of time." "Vanessa ran away." "Screw Vanessa." "We don't need the girls." "How do I look?" "Bernard... you can touch him." "Claude François... it was hard to get his autograph." "Good evening!" "Thank you for coming... to the Sacha Guitry Pavillion." "Welcome to the new Gala of the imitators." "This year organised in cooperation with RTL." "Good luck imitators." "May the best win." "And here is our first candidate." "It's a Claude François, and his name's Claude David." "Give him a warm hand..." "Claude David!" "I've been waiting here for over an hour." "I understand." "I'm sorry" "Tell them I'm his wife." "I know." "Please wait patiently..." "The doctor will be right there." "Don't worry." "I hate the night of the imitators." "How long have we been waiting?" "Look." "You call that a Claude François?" "He can't even dance." "How would you do it then?" "Thank you, Claude David!" "Give him a warm hand!" "It's not easy this year, but it's not over yet." "Time for a bit of fun." "Please welcome our best Coluche!" "Where are you going?" " I'm Bernard Frédéric." "The official Polnareff." " Go." "Have a good night." "I have to go." "My wife's imitator... will kill me if I'm late." "Our next guest..." "Behind the screens of the Pavillion, Sacha Guitry, something magnificent." "An other Claude François who was out of the race, is visiting us after all." "Can he perform?" "Louder!" "I can't hear you!" "Alright." "Let's welcome Bernard Frédéric and his Bernadettes." "Or rather, without his Bernadettes." "You're alone but you'll sing Alexandrie, Alexandra?" "Go ahead." "We're listening." "What's going on?" "I don't understnad." "What's going on?" "What is all this?" "How about the rules?" "Stay out of it." "Go!" "Did papa lose?" "No honey, he won." "Good evening Miss..." "Mrs Frédéric." "The usual?" "The 13.60 menu?" "Tonight I'll eat a la carte." "And my wife can choose." " And we'll have some wine." "You decide." "What's wrong?" "Are you alright?" "Would you prefer the menu?" "No, take whatever you like." "Was it right to leave Sébastien with Couscous?" "He's your best friend." " I know." "It's Bernard." " Everything OK?" "Has Sébastien gone to bed?" " I was just reading him a story." "And I tucked him in afterwards." "He's asleep." "Good, see you later." "See?" "I'm just a little..." "You know what?" "I love you." "Stop, stop!" "No, no." "What are you doing?" "My wiper." "Your arm is a hammer hitting a nail." "Do it." "That's right." "Ready?" "Again." "What are you doing?" "Picking up pebbles." "Claude walked on them." "Come here." "Each piece should be verified." "It could be an excellent piece." "Look, girls." "Look how tired the pebbles look on top." "It proves you stepped on them frequently." "It could be Claude's boots." "Couscous, that is very nice." "Congratulations."