"Family." "Our families determine who we are, determine what we're not." "All of our relationships with everybody we ever meet for the rest of our lives is based on the way we relate to the members of our family." "No wonder the world's so fucked up." "Said." "I read your book." "I don't give refunds." "I liked it." " Really, I did." " Schillinger, what do you want?" "Same as you." "I see in here a man who wants to fuck the system." "Use the law against itself." "I do too." "I've been charged with conspiracy to commit murder." "Trial's coming up." "I fired my horseshit lawyer." "I want you to represent me." "I'm serious." "Think of it." "If Kareem Said believes I'm innocent, the jury might too." "And if you defend a white man with my kind of beliefs, you'll stun Glynn and McManus." "You will rock the outside world." "You will be known as a man who truly strives for justice, blind to race, unfettered by prejudice." "What do you say?" "I'll think about it." "Hey, yo, what the fuck is you doing, man?" "is that my poetry you fucking with?" "What the fuck is you doing, man?" "What you think, this is a fucking joke, B?" "I'll fucking break you up, that's my word, B." " Don't fuck with my poetry." " Come on." "Girls, stop it, you're both pretty." "Come on, come on." "Come on." "Get the other bum out of here." "Come on, do-rag." "This is your third incident in as many weeks." "Clearly I am not getting through to you." "So as of today, our deal is off." "You're back in the kitchen mopping floors." "Big fucking deal." "I'm not gonna let you graduate." "You can still go to class, get your diploma, but I'm not gonna let you go to the graduation ceremony." "My girl's coming and my mom's coming." "Too bad." "Call them and cancel." "You have got to stay out of trouble." "Fucker ripped up my poems, man." "Even so, you're being published, and so a lot of very important people, very famous writers, have taken up your cause to get your case reviewed." "We're about to go before the parole commission." "Something like this could screw things up completely." "Now Sister Peter Marie says that you haven't been to drug counselling lately." "I'm gonna let that slide too." "You know why?" "Because you give this place a good name." "You do anything to give it a bad name from here on out, you don't get a second chance." "Okay." "Prisoner number 96J332, Arnold Jackson." "Mr. Jackson, I will ask you questions based upon your pre-parole summary and your institutional profile." "After this hearing, I will make a written recommendation to the parole commissioner." "Our conversation is being recorded should you choose to appeal whatever decision is reached." "Any questions?" "No." "Everybody." "Everybody, I've got some good news for you." "You two are engaged?" "The Poet has been granted parole." " Holy shit." " Fuck that." "So, what do I do?" "When?" "Well, it's an immediate release, so that means right after graduation." "This is perfect timing since McManus and I have chosen" "Poet to be the class valedictorian." "Yo, valedic-what?" "Congratulations, Poet." "We wanted to share this with you here in order to encourage you all." "Poet's being rewarded now, but everybody can be." "So work hard." "All right, guys, let's get started, huh?" "." "Who knows what valedictorian means?" "It'll be good for McManus." "He needs a little education himself." "In reality." "Hello, Tim." "Governor." "What's this, Leo?" "Sneak attack?" " Have a seat." " No, thanks." "What brings you down from Mount Olympus?" "I'll give you three clues:" "G-E-D." "The state has decided to eliminate the high school equivalency programme from the next year's prison budget." "What?" "You can't do that." "This programme is working." "With time" "Well, we don't have time." "Plain and simple, we need more COs and the budget can't handle both." "We would need less cos if there were fewer prisoners, which is exactly what's happening with education programmes like ours, governor." "I'm holding a press conference on the 1 5th to announce the budget." "Until then, this information is not to leave the room." "The 1 5th." "That's three days after the students graduate." "I planned it that way, so the ceremony wouldn't be affected." "Oh, so you're coming to the graduation ceremony?" "Unfortunately, yes." "The wages of spin." "I don't want a big production or anything." "It's just gonna distract the inmates." "Well, it's just the cameraman and myself." "That's all." "Local news ain't Hollywood, at least not yet." "Now, how long will this story be on the air?" "Depends on whatever else is happening." "Forty-five seconds, three minutes." "I want three minutes." "These men have worked hard, they deserve the recognition." "I want your viewers to know that something good's coming out of Oz." " All right, see you on the 1 2th." " Okay." "Governor Devlin, Warden Glynn, graduates, families, friends." "It is with great pride that I stand before you now to mark not only the academic achievement of the individuals we are here to honour, but also the communal victory to which every person in this room has contributed." "These students have taught me that the GED diploma is only part of a much larger goal." "To change one's life and never look back." "So it is with great sorrow that I tell you, this could be the last year of education at Oswald." "In the new budget that will soon be considered by our legislature, the equivalency programme will be terminated." "This tragic decision won't affect today's graduates, but their dedication and hard work have left a legacy which inevitably will disappear." "In the immortal words of Chuck D.:" ""Don't believe the hype."" "I'd like to introduce our class valedictorian," "Arnold "Poet" Jackson." "Too many prisons And not enough schools" "Too many weapons And not enough tools" "Not enough teachers Too many fools" "But me I'm from where fights is born I'm from where nights is dawned I'm from the ingredients Spit from the sun I formed an allegiance With the number one" "The letter A The beginning of the day" "The way, the wisdom The wish, the will" "The river, the tree, the try, the trek" "The rub of the neck" "The ball of the foot The back of the thigh" "The glimmer of their eye Appeared at what it's intrigued by" "Tried by what it's believed by I have taken on the likeness of love" "The harbour of hate The hell of here" "And the wonder of the where after I've discerned the disaster" "And drank Dom Pérignon And Armageddon I have drank the sacred ambrosia" "Housed in the chalice Of the rebellious cherubim" "Disguised as quarter juices I have died toothless And been reborn 1 44,000 times I've got 1 44,000 rhymes" "For every brain cell" "But I waste away in a cell" "Thank you." "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the graduating class of 1 998." "Luis Battista." "Arnold "Poet" Jackson." "Timmy Kirk." "Nice ceremony, huh, governor?" "How come you didn't hang around for the cake and coffee?" "McManus, McManus, McManus, you think you're so goddamn clever." "Bring me here, embarrass me publicly." "That was pretty much the idea, yeah." "Oh, you think I'm vulnerable, right?" "What with my wife walking out, all the corruption charges, not to mention the drop I took in the polls after sending in the SWAT team during the riots." "Saving your ass in the process, I might add." "You figure I can't take anymore heat, right?" "I'm a simple man with a simple plan." "Yes, but I'm not." "A year ago, my enemies thought by now I'd be impeached because, like you, they underestimate me and the voters." "See, the voters and I have a love-hate relationship." "They know I'm a bully, they suspect I'm dishonest, they even assume I cheated on my wife." "But crime is down, taxes are down." "Employment, however, is up." "Median income is up, up, up." "The Knights made it into the playoffs." "Even the ballet is thriving, and as for education, we now have the second highest literacy rate in the U.S. of A." "So do you seriously think that John and Jane Q. Public give a shit that some drugged-out homeboy is gonna get a diploma, knowing that their own little darlings are going to Yale?" "Enjoy that coffee and cake." "You see what I'm saying?" "People move the way that they do because they're still working out some shit with their fathers." "They're still pissed at their mothers for not potty-training them properly." "Shit like that." "People wanna get back at their parents for making them be born." "Bad baby." "Yo, what's up?" "What you want, Wangler?" "You're leaving today." "Yeah, I'm leaving today." "You want something or not?" "What?" "Yo, man, I heard your poem at the graduation, man." "I like what you said." "Yeah, yeah." "Yo, Poet, man, I know I been giving you a lot of shit lately." "You know, calling you a faggot, talking about your poetry and everything else." "Yeah." "But, yo, you good, man, you real good." "Thanks, man." "You know, it's kind of-- lt's kind of fucked up, you know, you not being able to graduate and all." "Yeah, man, I know." "Fucking McManus." "I had to call my girl and explain." " Yeah." " Yeah." "I didn't even have the heart to call my mom, man." "You know, she been so proud of me lately, learning to read and school and all that shit." "Yeah." "And I broke her heart so many fucking times." "Yeah." "That's why, yo, I was wondering if before you jet, you could write me a letter to her." "You know, telling her I'm sorry for all this." "Kenny, you know how to write a letter." "No, no, I mean..." "See, you got the words." "I don't-- l don't have the words." "The vocabulary." "Plus, it's a trade." "Yeah." "All right." "You're packed?" "No, you know, I decided I didn't wanna take anything out of this place, you know?" "So no last meal?" "No goodbyes to anybody." "Just, "See you, have a nice life."" "You know, it's kind of fucked up, leaving." "A little." "Everybody else is staying." "You know, it's like waking up from a dream." "Hope is a waking dream." "Who that, Muhammad?" "Aristotle." "Well, that fuck ain't never served no time in Oz." "Poet, your mother's here." "I wanna thank you." "Both." "Salaam Alaikum, brother." "Hey, Shirley." "You know, you're the prettiest girl on death row." "Hello, Shirley." "Thank you for coming." "If you hadn't asked, I would have anyway." "I never was much for any kind of religion." "I was baptized Lutheran, went to Quaker school." "My first husband was a Jew, my second was a whatchadingy." "Whatchadingy?" "You know, when you don't believe in anything?" " An atheist." " Yeah." "Are you an atheist?" "I'm not sure." "Ever since the accident, I've been full up with all sorts of feelings." "The accident?" "When my daughter died." "Save me." " Do you wanna be saved?" " l want you to save me." "From what?" "From hell?" "From lethal injection?" "That collar looks so stiff." "Why don't you take it off?" "Stop it." "Officer." "Look at me." "I'm so fucked up." "I'm sorry." "In Oz, you don't get to see much of your real family, your blood relatives." "Sometimes the things you do inside, you do for them." "To keep them alive, to keep them around you, even if only in your head." "Well, look who's here." "What brings you down to the low-rent district?" "Just because you're not in Em City anymore, doesn't mean I don't care what's going on with you." "Bull-fucking-shit." "McManus, I had to listen to your sanctimonious crap when I lived in Em City, but I don't have to now." "Bye." "All right, I don't care how you're doing." "Hey, boys, honesty." "I wanna talk to you about your accusation that Officer Wittlesey shot Scott Ross during the riot." "Accusation?" "I saw Wittlesey kill Ross." "Well, I want you to tell me everything." " All the details." " Why?" "You hacks just protect each other." "All you're gonna do is bury the truth." "Not this time." "Tim." "Hey." "My daughter's in town." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "My mom's in the hospital, so she hasn't been able to take care of her." "I have this friend Janice who also has a daughter and she lives a couple blocks from here, so she's been helping me out a couple days a week watching Deedee." "That's good." "You had said that you wanted to meet her and I told her so much about you, I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight." "Just the three of us, my treat." "Okay." "Okay." "This goddamn motherfucking piece of shit." "is there anything in this fucking come stain of a building that works?" "Rick, relax." "It's a soda machine there, pal." "lt-- lt ate my dollar." "Well, there's a number on the side there you could call." "Well, fuck that." "You feel better?" "Yes, much." "Much better." "I can't come to poker tonight." "Fuck." "Why?" "I promised Diane I would go have dinner with her and her kid." "Man, you and she." "On again, off again." "We're definitely off again." "How come?" "Timmy boy, you have got to be the most transparent man on God's green earth." "What?" "You started shying away from her ever since the riot." "Ever since that bitch Case and his commission started sniffing around." "No, she came to see me in the hospital." "She was actually very helpful." "So, what happened?" " Forget it." " Hey." "Tim, how" " How long we known each other, huh?" "You don't trust me?" "All right." "Rick, I read the commission's report about a hundred times." "I may be nuts, but I don't think Scott Ross died the way it says he did." "I think-- l think he was murdered." " No shit." " By Diane." " Tim, come on." " l know." " You got proof?" " No." "Only Schillinger's word." "He says he saw her do it." "Fuck Schillinger." "Yeah, well..." "When I asked Diane about it, she lied to me." " How do you know?" " You sleep with someone, you know." "Gotta go." "Yeah, hey, Joey, is Diane there?" " Diane?" " Yeah." " Are you ready?" " Just about." "Tim, I gotta be blunt." "I know you have doubts about what really happened to Scott Ross." "Do you remember the look in his eyes when he fired that gun at you?" "Yeah." "Do you remember anything of what happened next?" "I've tried to. I can't." "I don't remember much myself." "It all happened so fast." "I do know that I did what I did because he shot you." "He wanted you dead." " And that justifies it?" " Yes." "If I agree with you, it goes against everything I believe in, every principle I stand for." "I'm not asking you to compromise yourself." "I'm just saying we don't all live in the same world as you." "For most of us, what has to be done matters more than what should be done." "There's your mommy." "Hey, sweetie." "This is Deedee." "You still wanna get dinner?" "No." "Hello, Augustus." "Yo, yo, yo-yos." "Now that's what I call dirty." "Clean it up." "Confess, fellas." " Can you keep a secret?" " Of course he can." "The question is do I want to?" "What would you like in return?" " Wash my clothes for a month." " A week." " Three." " Two." " And a half." " Done." " Busmalis and I are digging a tunnel." " An escape tunnel." " Sorry." " When we first got back to Em City, you said you was gonna dig out." "I thought you was bullshitting." " l know it sounds crazy." " No, no." "But it can be done." "We take turns at night." "During the day, we put the floor tiles back." "And then you get rid of the dirt by washing the clothes, right?" "Yeah, that was Rebadow's idea." "All right." "Would you like to join us?" "Me?" "This hole gonna have handicap access?" "Just" " Your secret's safe with me." "Bottom, middle, make sure you fold my clothes when you take them out of the dryer." "Rumour has it you're planning to kill Adebisi." " You shouldn't listen to rumours." " Don't play games with me." "I'm warning you, if anything happens to Adebisi, I'm coming after you." "Who's playing games?" "What, I gotta keep reminding you?" "You owe me." "You owe me large." "You think you can hold that over my head forever?" "Forever or for as long as we're in this fucking zoo together." "You know what I appreciate about you?" "You're a family man." "You like your job, but you love your family." "Looks like we got nothing to talk about." "Officer." "Older brothers." "Older brothers get to fuck up first, break in the folks." "What's going on, little brother?" "Hey, Mark." "Come." "Sit down." "What?" "You got your deep baritone going." "That means some kind of shit has hit some sort of fan." "It's Schibetta." "I can't keep protecting you." "What did he say?" "Nothing new." "Either he gets what he wants or you go to jail." "Fucking guinea motherfucker." "He's not to blame." "You are." " Here we go." "The lecture." " This is not-- l told you, man." "I didn't mean to kill nobody." "I was just trying to make some fucking money for rent." "What are you doing?" "Please, no." "Gisante said shoot, so I shoot." "Look, you fired the gun, period." "Now, Schibetta's boys are holding on to it for leverage." " You gotta turn yourself in." " What?" " You fucking kidding me?" " Look, you have to, Mark." "You killed a man." "You gonna let your own brother burn, so you can run your prison?" "Are you gonna make your brother pay for your crime?" "Now, I am living a lie." "I could get the death penalty." "I keep protecting you, who knows how far Schibetta could take this." "How many more people will die?" "I'm sorry, Leo." "He said shoot." "Please." "Don't do this to me." "You did it to yourself, Mark." "Now, you have to turn yourself in." "I'll go with you if you want." "But you gotta turn yourself in." "Hey." "So I spread this rat poison all over the place." "You should have used the traps." "Now the rats crawl into the fucking walls to die." "We'll smell the stench for a fucking week." "Not that you notice anything smells bad, Adebisi." "Little Nino, when you say things like that, it hurts." "I just wanna be friends." "Friends, huh?" "Okay, pal of mine, how's about you go get me a chocolate bar?" "My pleasure." "No problem." "Bitch." "Yo, I been thinking about your offer, about taking out Schibetta." " So you'll do it?" " No." "But that don't mean me and you still can't do business." "Listen, I got a little slice of news for you that might be helpful." "Schibetta has something on the warden." "I don't know what it is, all right?" "But I got a funny feeling the warden would not mind if the wop took a hit." "I kill him, they still have to investigate." "No, no, no." "What you gotta do is you gotta slow down Schibetta." "Let Glynn sweep the dirt underneath the fucking rug." "Hey, Papi." "You and me." "We could tango." "You know, I been taking dance lessons, just in case you asked me." "Here, baby." "There you go." "Little more, little more." "What happened?" "Schibetta was brought in, vomiting and pissing blood." "My guess is he was poisoned." "Christ." "I want Adebisi." "I want you to deliver Adebisi to me." " No." " No?" "No. lf Adebisi did this, I'll punish him, not you." " Leo" " Don't call me Leo." "is that a threat or a joke?" "My brother is turning himself in." "You and I are done, capisce?" "Hey, warden, what brings you to the kitchen?" "Schibetta's gone." "You guys are out." "With or without Schibetta, we run the kitchen." "Wrong." "You boys have been reassigned." "The dress factory." "Dress factory, that's bullshit." "We're no dress-- l'll see you real soon." "Make me a dress, bitch." "See?" "A little poison and all the rats are gone." "If I can prove you hurt Schibetta, you're gone too." "The Jackson Five." "The Kennedy brothers." "The Marx Brothers." "When brothers work together, amazing shit happens." "When they don't life sucks." "It's gonna cost you 1 0 bucks to get in there." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "You broke my fucking nose." "All right, you just wait over there." "The doctor will be with you soon." "What are you doing here?" "I'm checking my broken nose." "Motherfucker." " Sorry about that." " Yeah, right." "Well, I'm getting this baby off." "My arm's finally healed." "What makes you think I give two shits?" "Hey, I said I was sorry about breaking your nose, but fighting you had to look real or Beecher would have guessed we were in cahoots." "I owe you." "Yeah, well, Schillinger says we have to work together." "Let me tell you, after Beecher's dead, you and me, we got a score to settle." "Anytime you want, day or night, baby." "Okay, Keller." " He's all yours." " Give me your arm." "So you never wrestled before?" "Like, once in high school." "When Arthur Weiner got his leg broken by Tad Lefkofsky." "I heard that snap, I got up, I got out." "I'll make sure nothing snaps." "Square yourself up, put your strong leg back." " Which is my strong leg?" " l don't know, we'll figure out." "Key is to grab the other guy's waist, pull him on top of you, then spin him around so you can pin him, all right?" "Let's go." "Let's go." "You grabbed my neck." "Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you about that one." "Let's try it again." "Slowly." "Hey, that was good." " You're letting me win." " No, I'm not." "Yeah, you are." "You fucking are." "Well, I'll tell you what." "Next time, I won't." "Come on, let's go again." "You know this is a stupid-ass game." "Will you just give it a chance?" " You can't do that." " This is what I'm talking" " There's too many fucking rules." " There's no castle in check." "And like wrestling doesn't have too many?" " That's my move." " Beecher, I need to talk to you." " What did you do wrong?" " Nothing." "If you do something wrong, you're summoned to McManus' office." "He comes to deliver bad news." "What's up?" "You sure you want me to do this in front of him?" "Yeah." "Your wife, she died." "What?" "She killed herself." "God almighty." "How?" "Asphyxiation." "She" "She locked herself in the garage, she left the car running." "And the kids?" "They're fine." "Where are my kids?" " They're with your family." " l wanna see my kids." "I arranged for a visit tomorrow." "Okay." "Beecher, I'm sorry." "If there's anything I can do..." "Did Genevieve leave a note?" "I don't know." "Yeah, well, I bet she left a note." "I'll try to find out." "Wanna play some more chess?" "Wanna go wrestle?" "Want me to leave you the fuck alone?" " Oh, man." " l'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Look, you wanna cry, you go ahead, man." "No one's watching." "It's cool." "Mail call." "Tobias, got something here for you." "Stationary from Cartier." "I heard your wife offed herself." " What's the matter?" " Sweet Jesus." "It's from Genevieve." "She says that I did it." "That I killed her just like that little girl." "Toby." "Where are they?" "In the playroom." "Toby." "Toby, wait." "Wait." "What, Grandmother?" "They're the ones that found her." "So go slowly." "They haven't seen you in more than a year, and then this place... I'm just not sure we should have come this soon." "They're still in shock." "You don't want me to see them?" "It's not that. lt's" " No." "Just not this way, not yet." "Not now." "I understand." "Take them home, Grandmother." " Oh, Toby" " Get them the fuck out of here." "Beecher, what's the matter?" "l-- l fucked up my life." "I have completely fucked up my life." " l'm all alone." " No, you're not." " l'm all alone." " No, no, you're not." "No, you're not." "It's all right." "It's all right." "Don't fucking touch me." "Husbands and wives, man." "We come into this world looking for unconditional love from our parents." "And when we don't get it, we find someone, anyone, and we marry them." "And we spend the rest of our lives together beating the shit out of each other, trying to prove that we didn't deserve unconditional love in the first place." "In a marriage, you pay for crimes you never committed." " Beyotch." " What?" "Motherfucker." "My car just hissed at me." "There's steam coming out of the engine." "Can you give me a ride to the rectory?" "Pete?" "Oh, hi." "Hi, Ray." "Oh, you're working. I'm sorry." "No, no, no, come on in." "Come on in." "Maybe you can..." "Look, these are the words that William Giles has been saying to me over and over and over again." " What do they mean?" " l don't have a clue." "I've tried everything I can to" "To get him to open up, but..." "So I thought that if I just write them out, maybe I can see a connection." " Amore means love." " Yeah." " Sick love?" " No, I tried that." "Sick amore." "Sick amore." "Sycamore?" "Street." "Sycamore Street." "Broome Street." "Sycamore Street." "Broome Street." "Sycamore and Broome." "What the hell happened on Sycamore and Broome?" "That's the corner where my husband was killed." "Open Giles' cell." " Sister, I can't do that." " Open it." "Warden Glynn gave me instructions not to let you in" " unless Giles is manacled-- - l don't have time to wait." " Sister, l" " Listen to the sound of my voice." "Let me in." "Did" " Did you murder my husband?" "is that what you've been trying to tell me?" " ls this confession by Morse code?" " No." "No." "Then, what?" "What?" "Peter." "Peter Marie" "Oh, no, please." "Please don't start that stuff with me again." "Just" " Look." "My husband died on the corner of Sycamore and Broome, right?" "Somebody pushed him off the back of a truck." "Did you do it?" "No." " Eyes." " Eyes." "You saw Leonard get pushed." "Right." "So" " So-- So, what happened?" "Pop." "Crackle." "Snap." "Yeah." "Yes, his neck was broken." "But what happened before that?" "Who pushed him?" "Please, please, please." "William, who pushed him?" "Aim." " Aim." "What do you mean by aim?" " Aim." " What is aim?" " Aim." " Tell me." " Aim!" "Aim, aim!" "Aim!" "Aim!" "Aim!" "Aim!" "Aim!" "Because we share the same blood with our family, we can ask them to do anything." "Anything." "Lie, cheat, take a bullet." "Only, don't ask to borrow the new Lexus because then, my man, you are crossing the line." "O'Reily." "Did you get it?" "Nice." "Let me see the benny first." "Here." "You know, I can understand paying this type of money for tits, but for that?" "Hey, what the fuck kind of scam you up to?" " No scam." " So why you have me steal it?" "Because it's hers." " Yeah, it's Nathan's, right?" " Yeah." " Okay." " What?" "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're in love." "What, is that so hard to believe, huh?" "Me in love?" "You, me, anybody." "Not in Oz, man." "You're wrong." " Dr. Nathan." " Hi." "What do you want?" "I was wondering why you weren't there for my latest dose of chemo." "No, I don't need to be there." "The nurse is qualified to do the procedure." "Look, this" "This chemo's making me pretty sick and I think I need a check-up." "Fine. I'll arrange for Dr. Prestopnik to see you this afternoon." "No, but l-- l want you to take care of me." " l'm busy." " Doing what?" "That's not your business." "I'm hanging up." "No, no, no." "Don't get angry." "I'm not." "You-- You gotta stop calling me all the time." " Okay." " l'm hanging up." "Hold on a second." "I love you." "Hello?" " Hello?" "Hello, hello, hello?" " Goodbye." "What was that all about?" "Ryan O'Reily." "He calls me 1 0 times a day." " He writes me letters." " Love letters?" "He's starting to creep me out." "Gloria, you haven't" "You haven't been encouraging him, have you?" " No." " Okay, okay." "I'm just asking, because a few weeks ago, you said that you were attracted to him." "I know, but I didn't do anything." "I didn't say anything." "I was just being a good doctor." "I swear." "You want me to have a chat with him?" "If you think it'll help." "Can't hurt." "Mind if I read these?" "Hey, Ryan, come on in." "Sit down." "So how are you feeling?" "Some days are better than others." "Well, I'm not surprised." "What you've been through these last few weeks, breast cancer, surgery, chemo, these things are difficult to adjust to." "I manage." "What I mean is, your life was in danger just a short time ago, and now, your chances for recovery are excellent." "So that all the fear that you experienced has to be replaced by something else." "You know, other emotions." "Like your feelings for Dr. Nathan." "You seem to have been focusing a lot on her lately." "She saved my fucking life." "Well, sure, of course, but it's very easy to mistake appreciation for affection." "You're saying what I'm feeling isn't real?" "Oh, no, no, no. I'm sure it is for you." "But for Dr. Nathan, it's" "Well, she has a different perspective." "And if you care for her, Ryan, you have to respect that." "You should stop writing, stop calling." "Sometimes I just need to hear her voice." "Yeah, I understand." "But she doesn't wanna hear yours." "Ryan, love, true love, is reciprocal." "Both people have to care for each other equally, and when half that equation is missing" "Listen to me, when half that equation is missing, it's no longer love." " lt's obsession." " No, no, you're wrong." "What I feel for her is-- ls the truest, best thing I have ever had in my whole fucking life." "And you're not gonna take it away from me." " That was not" " What, is she too good for me?" "No, you know what?" "You tell her this." "I love her." "She can send me to a thousand shrinks, she can drop me into the hole for a million years and there's nothing she can do to ever change the way I feel about her." "Got it?" "Thanks." "You dated her, didn't you?" "She's married, O'Reily." "So are you." "Did you fuck her, huh?" "Did you fuck her, McManus?" "Was she good?" " You have got to stop." " l can't." "You gotta do this for me, Cyril." "But it's bad." "And you told me not to be bad anymore." "Do this." "One time." "For me." " Okay." " Okay." "I love you, bro." "I love you too." "Hey." "You wanted to see me?" "Yes." "Have a seat." "We just got word from the state police." "They found a body and they think it's your husband's." "My husband?" "He was murdered." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Every once in a while, I remember something I did when I was a child." "Or something that was done to me, by my father or my brother or a cousin." "Some injury, some humiliation." "And it seems like it happened to another person a century or two ago." "I'm not really sure if what I remember really took place at all." "You can't build your life relying on the perception of a little boy, on the echoes of some memory." "No." "You got to let all that shit go." "You got to start fresh." "Every single day, you have got to start again."