"♪ La, la la la la la ♪" "♪ Whatever happened to predictability?" "♪" "♪ The milkman, the paperboy The evening TV ♪" "♪ Everywhere you look Everywhere you go ♪" "♪ There's a heart, a hand to hold onto ♪" "♪ Everywhere you look Everywhere you go ♪" "♪ There's a face Of somebody who needs you ♪" "♪ Everywhere you look ♪" "♪ Yeah ♪" "♪ When you're lost out there And you're all alone ♪" "♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪" "♪ Everywhere you look ♪" "♪ La, la la la la la ♪" "♪ Ooh ♪" "Hey, hey, hey..." "Where is my couch going?" "This is my lazy Sunday." "As opposed to your lazy Monday through Saturday?" "It just so happens that I have a very hectic life." "But today I'm relaxing with my rock star biographies." "I've got Tina Turner and Janis Joplin and Ariana Grande." "It's mostly pictures." "Sorry, but Ramona needs the room for her big audition for world-renowned dance coach, Signore Giuseppe Pignoli." "If he likes me, he's my ticket to the San Francisco School of the Arts." "Giuseppe's the best." "When he took on Miley Cyrus, she could barely even twerk." "Oh, thanks for moving the furniture." "More room for Tommy's playdate." "Whoa, whoa, what playdate?" "I need the living room." "Oh, so do I." "I have two toddlers coming over from our Mommy and Me group." "I need Tommy to make some friends." "Can 1-year-olds really make friends?" "I mean..." "They have the vocabulary of a carrot." "Show her you're not a carrot." "OK, he's a carrot." "OK, chickens, welcome to your new home." "A little help here?" "Uh, Max." "What are those?" "Wow, you really did grow up in the city." "They're chickens." "The goofy one is Joey, the one with the big beak is Danny and the one with the Elvis hair is Jesse." "I meant how did you get them?" "Fernando took me to the chicken store." "It's a part of my One Kid Can Make A Difference project." "We talked about this." "We talked about you starting a little backyard sustainable farm." "You can't have a farm without chickens." "Just ask Old McDonald." "He had a cluck, cluck everywhere." "I did not know until today that a chicken could get car sick." "Did you buy Max three chickens without my permission?" "Actually, I bought four." "But I opened the sun roof without thinking." "So much for chicken Becky." "Hola, hijita, are you ready for your big audition?" "I'm ready." "But I really need your help." "I need you to impress Signore Pignoli with how much our family loves the art of dance." "Of course." "We are your biggest athletic supporters." "I don't think that means what you think it means." "It means we are a jockstrap for her dreams." "Oh." "Well, then, I guess it is what you meant." "Do you hear pecking at the door?" "Chicken Becky, you found us!" "Come in." "Chickens, meet my dog, Cosmo, and my Aunt Stephanie." "She's taking a little vacation." "From what?" "Nobody knows." "From a sassy 8-year-old." "I'm not sassy, I'm delightful." "Mom says either I have to help you with your garden or "read something."" "So here I am." "Whoa, Mom let you have chickens?" "!" "Of course she did." "I'm her favorite son." "Her face lights up every time I walk into a room." "Mom loves us all the same." "It's so cute that you believe that." "You know, I'm gonna go read something." "No, you're not." "You're right." "Chickens, have some corn cob." "Cosmo, I love you, but I'm very busy." "Here, go fetch." "So, just between us chickens, how much do you guys hate Colonel Sanders?" "OK, Tommy, Teddy, Bryan, there's gonna be a dance audition in here and there's a chicken convention in the backyard." "So what if we bake cookies in the kitchen?" "Any objections?" "OK, it's unanimous!" "It's always open!" "Hey, Deej." "Hey!" "What are you guys doing in your little, matching little bike shorts that are very little?" "Well, we were just mountain biking up and down all seven hills of San Francisco." "What fun that was!" "And next, we're gonna swim to Alcatraz." "Oh, boy!" "As soon as I use the little girls' room." "I hope you don't mind." "You just hurry up, sweetie." "I can't wait to burn some more calories!" "She's killing me, DJ." "I gotta lay down." "Hey, what are you doing with that corn cob?" "Cosmo, drop that." "You can't have that." "No!" "He swallowed it." "Oh, that's not good." "Mom, thanks for making me read." "I just finished To Kill a Mockingbird." "Oh, spoiler alert, they kill the mockingbird." "Boys, we have a bigger problem." "Cosmo swallowed a corn cob." "Dogs can't digest something that big." "I didn't know that." "I threw one for him to fetch." "We gotta take him to the clinic and get this corn cob out of there." "I'm coming with you." "And so is Jackson." "Why do I have to go?" "Because when I don't have my dog, you're my emotional support animal." "Steph!" "Hey." "You would not believe what they put Ariana Grande through on Sam  Cat." "It is a miracle she's so grounded." "Matt and I need to get to the clinic." "Will you watch the toddlers?" "All of them?" "No, pick your favorite." "Thank you." "OK." "All right, great." "Have fun!" "Here we go, in the car, come on." "Uh, hurry back." "I feel like I'm forgetting something." "What do you say you little ankle biters give me a break and take a nap, huh?" "Yeah?" "Right." "On your marks, get set... sleep." "All right, I should tire you out first." "OK, ready?" "Here we go." "Everybody chase me." "Here we go!" " And I'm running!" " Ooh!" "Cardio!" "Well, there is definitely a corn cob in Cosmo's belly." "That's not the one I threw." "Mine was yellow." "We're just gonna make a little incision and take it out." "You're going to cut Cosmo open?" "Don't do it!" "Cut me open instead!" "How's that gonna help?" "You're right." "Cut Jackson!" "Max, relax, OK?" "We're gonna put Cosmo to sleep, it won't hurt him a bit." "Cosmo?" "I'm sorry." "I'm your doggy daddy and I let you down." "Come on, boy." "Hey, don't worry, Max, OK?" "He's gonna be fine." "He'd better be." "Cosmo's my best friend in the whole world." "OK." "No pressure." "A little nerve-racking, operating on our family dog." "I really appreciate you being here." "I'm always here for you." "Sorry." "Oh, it's Crystal." "Oh..." "That's what I forgot." "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Stephanie." "And when I say beautiful, I am talking fairest in the land, smokin' hot." "Now, one lazy Sunday, which she totally deserved, she was suddenly besieged by three tiny monsters." "Each with their own magic power." "One could spill apple juice out of even the strongest sippy cup." "One could throw a tantrum for no reason whatsoever." "And the third, he could fill a diaper with such speed and volume that it brought tears to the princess' eyes." "Aww." "Yes..." "Oh." "And look, enchanted chickens from a magic portal." "I got it, it's Signore Pignoli." "Agh!" "What's on my dance floor?" "Well, it's, you know, some free-range chickens, some free-range babies and... a couple sock puppets." "Maybe he won't notice." "Buongiorno!" "This is not what it looks like." "It looks like a petting zoo full of chickens and piggies." "Well, we were just leaving." "Hi, I'm Stephanie." "And I'm Princess Stephanie!" "I'm sorry." "You're the first adult that I've talked to all day." "Fascinating." "Here, hold the baby." "Yes." "All right, shoo chickens." "Danny, Jesse, Joey, Becky, get out, this is our house now." "Here, I'll take that." "Oh..." "And look what is going on in there." "There is a chicken riding a baby." "All right." "No more distractions." "I hope not." "Ra-da-da-da da da..." "Who are those people?" "I have no idea." "We are Fernando and Kimberlina Gibbler-Hernandez" " Guerrero-Fernandez-Guerrero, the proud parents of Ramona Gibbler-Hernandez" " Guerrero-Fernandez-Guerrero." "Oh, that's right, they're my family." "They love to dress up." "It's an honor for you to meet us." "What?" "We just came from our ballroom dancing class, because everyone in our family loves the art of dance." "I've heard you are the best egg beater in all the dance coach." "Excuse me, I'll be right back." "Grilled cheese." "You guys are embarrassing me." "How?" "We were being supportive like you asked us to." " I even learned Italian." " Oh, no, you didn't." "This isn't what I meant." "You guys went way overboard." "Now go way away." "Ramona, I am right on the brink of getting my feelings hurt." "I don't have time to worry about your feelings." "Fine." "Buona notte, calamari." "Stupid corn cob." "This is why I hate vegetables." "Cosmo's gonna be fine." "Mom's one of the top five vets in San Francisco." "It says so right here in this pamphlet she wrote." "But I'm his doggy daddy and I'm sorry I let him down." "It was an accident." "And I'm sorry I said I was Mom's favorite." "Don't worry about it." "And I'm sorry I gave your bike to a homeless man." "It's OK." "You did what?" "I didn't have any spare change." "What were you thinking?" "I made Mom file a police report!" "Be nice to me, I'm having a bad day." "Did I ever tell you about Leon, my gecko?" "The one that left you to go work at that insurance company?" "Yes, but..." "I made that up." "The truth is I let Leon play outside and I went inside for a fudgsicle." "When I came back..." "Leon was gone." "So he can't save me up to 15% on my car insurance?" "I'm afraid not." "How's that story supposed to help me?" "Not sure." "It's the only pet story I've got." "But trust me, everything's gonna be OK." "Thanks, Jackson." "Ramona, the way you move, like an Italian widow at a meatball buffet." "That's exactly what I was going for." "Now, show me." "What else have you got?" "Oh." "That was all I prepared." "Listen, I would like to see something more ballroom." "Like what you see on those wildly popular competition dance shows." "Show me a cha-cha-cha." "Yeah, a quickstep." "A pasodoble." "It's a shame you're not me." "I am so great." "I can tango." "But I need a partner." "Don't move." "Kimberlina, you slay me." "Hey Mom." "Papa." "Good to see you're still here." "Well, we are certainly not allowed to be in there." "I would like to sincerely apologize for my rudeness earlier in the day." "But I need you to come back in there and help me out, so what do you say?" "Everybody forgives me, and great!" "Let's go!" "I notice no one is coming with me." "What's the magic word?" "Please?" "Wrong." "How is "Please" not the magic word?" "Based on what we overheard while eavesdropping... the magic word is, "Will you tango with me, Papa?"" "Will you tango with me, Papa?" "Ah." "The magic word." "Shall we dance?" "Stop!" "You move like a gazelle in the night." "Graceful, elegant, gazelle-ish." "Ramona, I found it very demeaning to rate dancers with a score, but people seem to like it." "So..." "Ten!" "Ramona, I would be honored to be your dance coach." "Really?" "You mean it?" "Yes." "Yes, I do." "Ooh!" "This will be our first and last group hug, so savor... and release." "Great work, Doctor Fuller." "If I ever swallow a corn cob, I know who to call." "Thank you for being here." "It was really sweet of you." "Oh." "So." "Hmm." "Yeah." "Well, I..." "I couldn't wait any longer." "Is Cosmo OK?" "Who?" "Oh, yeah, Cosmo came through like a champ." "Yeah, a little rest and he'll be as good as new." "Really?" "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "Hey, I helped." "I tried to help." "Mom, I've been thinking." "All of this happened because I'm a terrible doggy daddy." "I don't deserve Cosmo, so could you take care of him for me?" "Max, you're a wonderful doggy daddy." "And parenting isn't about being perfect." "It's about love." "And nobody loves this dog more than you do." "Cosmo is very lucky to have you." "And I'm lucky to have him." "OK, Cosmo, I'm giving myself a second chance." "And I promise I'll do better." "Could someone lift me up so I can give Cosmo a kiss?" "I got this." "Thanks, you guys." "Send me the bill." "And then I'll give it to you, Mom." "So where were we?" "In the middle of a pretty awkward moment." "That's happening again." "Maybe we should talk about that awkward thing." "Maybe we should." "Or maybe we shouldn't." "You have a girlfriend." "You're right, I keep forgetting her." "Thank you." "I'll finish up here." "Yes, and, um..." "I'm gonna get out of these bike shorts because I can't feel a thing below my waist and... that worries me." ""So, after 23 years on this big blue marble," "I've learned that with the right personal trainer, you can climb any mountain." "May all your dreams be Grande." "Ariana out."" "Wow, you know, it is so nice to see things turn out well for one of those child sitcom stars." "Come on, Max." "Let's go give Cosmo his medicine." "Cosmo, to make it up to you," "I'll give you a big bowl of chocolate ice cream." "Oh, Max, no." "Chocolate is poisonous for dogs." "Seriously?" "These dogs should come with an owner's manual." "Whoa!" "Aww." "Look at you." "You have everything under control." "Thanks for taking care of Tommy's little friends." " Their moms picked them up?" " Yeah, I assume so." "You know, when I woke up, they were gone." "All right, I will go put Tommy to bed." "Oh, and by the way, chicken Jesse is in your bathtub." "Not my problem." "It's always open." " Hi, DJ." " Hey, Matt, what..." "Wait." "What are you doing?" "I broke up with Crystal." "You did?" "Yes, look, we had this big talk and we agreed that..." "I still have strong feelings for you, DJ, and then she just rollerbladed off into the sunset." "Really?" "You still have feelings for me?" "You know I do." "All I want is to give you and me a real shot." "If you still have any feelings for me." "You know I do." "Team Matt." "I win." "Pay up." "Hey, I'm not counting Steve out yet." "Double or nothing?" "You're on." "Were they betting on us?" "No." "Maybe." "Kiss me." "Welcome to Ramona's World, my vlog exploring the world of Ramona, with your host, Ramona." "For the past two weeks," "I've been studying with world-renowned dance coach, Signore Giuseppe Pignoli." "He loves me, but I think he loves my family more." "Let me show you." "This has been going on non-stop for the past week." "DJ and Stephanie have dance fever." "It's 2:00 a.m." "Tomorrow he's got the whole family doing West Side Story." "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "OK." "Ten!" "Ten." "Two." "Two?" "There is always one judge that's impossible to please." "♪ One, two, three, four... ♪"