"Hello there." "I'm Jeff Zucker, president and CEO NBC Universal." "Due to the recent writers' strike, many fans may have forgotten what's going on with their favorite show." "So, we put together a little recap to get everybody back up to speed. where you can watch all of your favorite shows." "Preferably within the first 17 days." "Let's take a look." "This is just a little commercial from eSurance." "I dated a girl with pink hair once." "Crazy!" "Okay." "Here we go." "So, Earl got out of prison." "And he tried to get back to his list and do good things, but Karma wasn't letting any good things happen to Earl." "So, Earl gave up on his list, and gave up on Karma..." "Remember that?" "Earl became such a jerk, his friends put together a Karma intervention." "What?" "Intervention." "Also a great show." "You can catch it on our sister network, AE." "So, anyhow, Earl's intervention didn't work." "Earl gets hit by a car, just like he did in the pilot episode." "Writers refer to that as a "callback"." "I call it, "getting paid twice for writing the same thing"." "But look who was driving the car." "Alyssa Milano!" "Is nice." "She plays Billie, a girl who Earl took a liking to earlier in the season." "I did not see that coming." "I bet you can't wait to find out what happens next." "Luckily, you don't have to." "Just stay tuned for a brand-new episode of My Name is Earl." "JZ out!" "I WON'T DIE WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS" "Karma finally brought me my good thing but then plowed into her at 40 miles an hour." "And I wasn't doing so good myself." "But when you've been through rough times as much as I have, you learn ways to deal with it." "Like when I was a kid..." "You call this dinner?" "I bust my hump all day, then I come home to salad?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Well, here." "I'll just pour some scotch on it, then I'm sure that you'll lick the plate clean." "I didn't grow up in the perfect home." "But when things got bad, I turned on the TV and pretended I did." "Honey, are my pants done yet?" "My boss wanted me to go over the Johnson account this morning, and I can't debrief in my briefs." "Why not?" "He might take one look at those cute legs of yours and give you a raise." "I guess that's why my mind did what it did." "It knew my body couldn't get to a TV to drown out the pain, so it took over and did what I had trained it to do when I was a kid." "Honey, I'm home!" "My mind created a nice little world for me, where my list was finished, dinner was always waiting, any problem could be solved in an half hour and I was married to Billie." "Hello, Mr. Senior Account Executive." "How's the new corner office?" "Well, it's so big, it has two corners." "That's two more corners than my father said you'd ever get." "Sam, the two-eyed mailman, delivered more wedding gifts today." " Not another toaster, I hope." " Nope." "Four toasters!" "Let me guess what's for dinner." " Toast!" " Toast!" "Back in the real world, things weren't going so well for me or Billie." "You guys gonna cut off her shirt?" "What happened?" "What happened?" "Ex-Officer Daniels was driving by and found them in the street." "Yes, that is how it happened." "Please be a dog..." "Aw, crap." "Wacky, wacky if your neck's not breaky." "His neck's not breaky, is it?" "Ambulance man!" "Get over here before God takes him!" "Don't take him, Your Majesty." "Take me instead." "Or my weight in squirrels." "Ambulance man!" "Easy there, gorgeous." "Let them do their job." "There are two people hurt here." "The paramedics had to make a very difficult decision and clearly, they have chosen the hot chick with the nice taters." "This wasn't the first time Randy had seen me on the ground fighting for my life." "It goes so high you can't even see it anymore." "Do another one." "Mother!" "Pull it out!" "Randy, pull it out!" "Last time Randy had the choice of helping me out, he froze up with fear, ran home, and hid under the bed." "He wasn't going to make that mistake again." "Where the hell is he going?" "Nuts." "We've got a stolen ambulance east bound on Sycomore Street." "I would be in pursuit but our Al Gore wannabe mayor decided to go green and replaced my squad car with a bicycle." "Copy that." "I hit the girl with my car." "I know, buddy." "We're gonna get you through this." "Between me and Randy, we had stolen a fire truck, two cop cars and a bulldozer." "But this was our first ambulance." "I just wish I had been awake to enjoy it." "Hold on, Earl." "You're going to be okay." "Oh, my God, I'm sorry." "I should have strapped you in." "Just calm down, Randy." "You're no good to anyone if you can't think straight." "Try to relax." "Listen to a little music." "If you can hear us, bring back the ambulance." "If the patient dies, you'll be held responsible." "How did that DJ know I stole an ambulance?" "Man, the engine is fried." "Joy, I thought you said you put oil in the Brat." "We are all out of oil, but I sprayed a can and a half of Pam in there." "But you know what?" "One was regular and one was butter-flavor." "That's probably it." "Yeah, that's probably it." "Maybe I could fix it." "What are you gonna do, feed it hay?" "Queso es not un burro." "Get in, get in!" "Earl got hit by a car," "Mom and Dad aren't home, and I don't know where the hospital is!" "I can't believe he got hit by a car again." "He really should've put "look both ways before crossing" on his list." "I'm not sure if that worked or not, but Earl has the softest lips I ever felt." "And his mustache tickles." "Is he still breathing?" "I can't tell if he's breathing." "It might be a good idea if you'd watch the road being that we're traveling at high-speeds and whatnot." "Everybody relax." "I know how to wake him up." "This is what I used to do when he'd pass out in the middle of doing it." "Never fails." "Oh, crap." "This is really bad." "Darnell, you gotta do something." "You have to save him because his last words to me were angry ones." "I can't have another dead man mad at me." "I need a knife." "I have to cut out his eyes so his soul can't find me." "Looks like you cut out your own eyes before you chose that outfit you wear." "Even in a moment like this I can still knock 'em out of the park." "Earl, can you hear me?" "Dummy?" "You in there?" "Anybody home?" "Hello, anybody in there?" "Anybody home?" "That's my ex-wife." "Don't let her... in." "Hey, dummy." "Hey, Mrs. Dummy." "We just came by to bring you a wedding gift." "It's a toaster." "Just what we needed." "It actually our toaster." "And you should know, the right slot runs hotter than the left so plan your toast accordingly." "We'd have brought it to the wedding, but the only option on our invitation was "Will not attend."" "So don't be surprised when you find a cat turd in your toaster." "She held the darn cat over that thing for two hours" "I thought he was never gonna go." "Well, it was good seeing you." "I'm sure you got to get going." "Got a long drive back me." "You'll have to come for breakfast." "We'll all have toasted cat crap." "We don't have a long drive home." "We just bought the house next door." " His heartbeat is really erratic." " Will this help?" "We used to bring one of these machines to Club Chubby on Senior Day." "It's called a defibrillator." "Save the Spanish for your friends at the car wash." " Hand 'em here." " Have you ever done this before?" "No, but I started a man's heart with a car battery and a waffle iron." "This should be a walk in the park." "All right, I'm going to need your help." "Joy, when I say clear, hit the red button." "Clear!" "Oh, crap!" "I fried my husband's brain." "I'm fine." "Actually, it's not a bad buzz." "Help Earl." "Step aside." "It's time for a little Baywatch action." " Damn it!" "I think 're losing him!" " Wait!" "He can't die in doors." "If his spirit has no escape, it won't matter if we cut out his eyes." "His soul will attach to us, all our children will have hair lips." "Earl's soul!" "The exit is that way!" "What the hell, bitch?" "Shut the damn..." "Back when we were married and Joy road on top of me while I was passed out, the only thing that risk was an unwanted pregnancy." "Today's risk was death." "But luckily, my mind had no idea." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Problem, honey?" "Well, I know Randy's a real hoot, but I'm not sure about him living with us." "It's the perfect plan." "We don't want Joy coming over, right?" "The only thing she hates more than a restaurant with a no flip-flap sign is Randy." "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." "I did it!" "I finally got that candy corn out of my ear." "Oh, yeah, I forgot." "Randy's kind of a slob." "I got an idea." "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." "See?" "Everything work out perfectly." "I told you, I know what I'm doing." "Without all that mess that's usually around you, you're not so bad," "I could hang out with you all day." "Well, I guess I don't ow what I'm doing." "This place is so clean, Darnell and I should move in and rent out our house to that one-legged girl that hates you." "Oh, snap." "That's a fine cattle of fish." "Fortunately, my out of control wheelie bed came to a stop." "Unfortunately, it was now hooked to a semi." "Joy didn't get a license plate, but she did see the truck was from Waadt Appliance, so they went there." "Great to see you." "How's your brother?" "He's good." "He's good." "Actually, he's passed out, strapped to a wheelie bed and attached to the front of one of your trucks, so he might be dead." "You guys and your adventures." "You know who you should call?" "My brother's a cop." "He rides a bike now, but he swears it's not a demotion." "No." "No pigs." "Hey, that's my brother you're talking about." "He is a little on the husky side." "I've been trying to get him on Atkins." "Saved my life." "The truck had woman driver." "Tall, scrawny, apparently doesn't respond to somebody screaming," ""Stop, bitch, my friend's stuck on your grill."" "That'd be Sissy." "She was probably on her way home." "She owns her own truck." "Can you draw a map to Sissy's house on my hand and a map to the hospital on this one?" "But if her house is close to the hospital, you could put them on the same hand-map." "While my friends hunted for me," "Billie slowly made her way to the hospital." "Where do you think the odds are?" "He just got better and walked home." "About the same as if he spontaneously combusted." "Not true." "The government doesn't want you to know it, but people spontaneously combust all the time." "That's why you see so many sneakers hanging from power lines." "He left less than 25 minutes ago." "You share a bed with a guy for long enough, you learn a few things." "He must have fallen." "We need to find out what route she took to get here." "I thought you were the pizza guy." "What do you want?" "We're looking for my brother, Earl." "We have to get him to a doctor fast." "He was on the bed stuck to the front of your truck." "What are you talking about?" "Sam Hill, that'd better not have dented my grill." "I'm sorry, but this is driving me crazy." "You have an eyelash our cheek." "You have enough working against you without this hanging of you face." "Look, I haven't seen your brother." "But if you do, you tell him to watch where he's driving that wheelie bed." "He needs to stay in the bike lane." "No joke, this is the thickest eyelash I have ever seen." "Dag, I bet you could get ten wishes from that thing." "Go ahead." "Wait!" "This isn't an eyelash." "This is one of Earl's mustache hairs." "You share a toothbrush with a guy, you learn what his mustache tastes like." "Something fishy's going on here." "So, where were we, lover?" "Oh, snap!" "Oh, hell no." "You are not gonna try to steal that." "Get yo boobs off my brother!" "Please don't take him from me." "God left him to me on the front of my truck." "He usually just leaves me bugs and birds." "Anyway, you can't take him from me." "We already exchanged vows." "Okay, she's crazy." "Lucky for us, I know how to talk to crazy." "Hey, sweetheart." "Look, we are not gonna to take your men." "We're just gonna fix him for you, 'cause he's broken." "For starters, we're gonna check and see if he's still alive." "He's crashing!" "See, he's crashing, and what at means to us is, we should take him and clean him up for you and maybe make him, not almost dead." "Well, that could help." "He just doesn't seem that into it when we're kissing." "Well, then we're just gonna make him more lively and bring him right back." "Think you could give him a little perm?" "Like the Mexican soccer players." "And see if the doctors can pump him up a little down south there, you know... again, like a Mexican soccer player." "We'll pimp your ride, don't worry." "Can you transport Sissy's new boyfriend out of here, please?" "For the perm, would you like... more Shirley Temp ringlets or more of a Weirdl Yankovic?" "That lady's crazy." "Earl with curly hair?" "Not with those cheekbones." " Good thing we're not real doing that." " What?" "You're not bringg him back, are you?" "You're taking him for your own dirty needs." "Run!" "Damn, that was my go-to." "She's got a gun!" "Ah, crap." "You're a coward, Randy Hickey." "This is a little trick my twin brother taught me." "He pops dents out of washers and dryers so they can sell themfull price." "He's a clever little, skinny fella." "Listen, I don't feel right about this." "That dent was made by the girl's head." "What dent?" "Never happened." "You're golden." "So no one else is chasing this ambulance?" "Cop on a bike is all we got today?" "Is Earl okay?" "He's suffered serious head trauma and massive internal injuries." "Well, at least they're internal." "He also has severely bruised nipples." "We might not be able to save one of them." "In addition, he has some palet shaped burns on the sides of his head," "And let's see what else." "His left buttock is filled with buckshot, his teeth are covered in bugs, and last but not least, we're not sure, but we think he might have had an involuntary orgasm." "Oh, my God, that crazy bitch tried to constipate the marriage." "He's going to be okay, right, doc?" "Define "okay."" " Not dead." " I don't know." "Can't you tell us anything good about Earl?" "He has a fantastic mustache and, praise be to Ganesh it was unharmed." "Other than that, all we can do is pray." "I bet you wish you had more than one god now, uh?" "So, there I was, fighting for my life." "My body had taken just about all the punishment it could handle, and it was fading." "But not my mind." "My mind was hanging on." "I don't understand." "I took the batteries out of all of them." "Where is that bipping coming from?" "I don't hear it!" "After a round about trip to the hospital that got me shocked, dropped, lost and possibly molested by a she-trucker," "I was finally under the semi professional care of Camden County Hospital." "You're gonna wake my brother now, Mr. Doctor?" "Do you remember earlier we talked about something called a coma?" "Oh, yeah." "The story about the bears sleeping through the winter." "Right..." "And we don't try wake them." "Hopefully, your brother'll pull through and wake up on his own." "Yeah, listen here, Dr. Bob-a-ganoush." "You people might be great at running cheap motels, but we're gonna require a second opinion from a real doctor." "You know, a Jewish one." "I'm Indian." "We're the new Jews." " I thought that was Koreans." " They wish." "A lot was going on around me, but I was pretty unaware of it." "I was also unaware that Billie was lying in the very next room." "My mind was in an other place." "My safe place." "TV world." "And by now, my mind had even made up a theme." "He is the perfect businessman" "She is the perfect wife" "Together they live in the perfect house" "And they thought they had the perfect life" "But they're never alone No, they're never alone" "They never have a moment to themselves" "'Cause they're never alone!" "It's all my fault." "What are we gonna do now?" "When I stopped by the hospital the other day," "Earl's nurse gave me this." "On the back is a coupon for a free pancake breakfast... with purchase of second pancake breakfast." "That's how they get you." "Guess what I picked up in the parking lot at Club Chubby." "Gonorrhea?" "Oh, my God, it's Earl's list!" "There are sure a bunch of stuff he never got to cross off." "What do you mean "never?"" "He's gonna cross the rest off as soon as he wakes up." " Look Randy..." " No." "No "look Randy," and no "never,"" "and no pamphlets with the sad pull the plug face on." "People come back from the dead all the time." "Zombies, werewolves, vampires." "Need I go on?" "Randy's right." "We can't give up." "We have to do something." "Well, there are documented cases of coma patients lured back into consciousness when exposed to certain stimuli." "You know, things they enjoy." "Hey, Earl likes that show Lancelot Link:" "Secret Chimp." "You think they'd let a monkey in the hospital?" "Did you have any problems to get in?" "No." "Not once I figure out that revolving door." "So, my friends set about to draw me out of my coma using different stimuli." "Things that might inspire me back to life." "It's bacon, Earl." "You always wake up for bacon." "How about boobs?" "You used to wake up for these often enough." "Sorry, Darnell." "I'm cool." "You know I don't consider above the waist to be cheating." "Squeeze, baby." "You're a vegetable, not a fruit." "When boobs and bacon didn't work," "Darnell tried to open my eyes to new experiences." "A third European city you may want to wake up and visit is Amsterdam, or as I like to say," "Amster-Jam." "You'll see what I mean when you get there." "They even helped keep me up on current events." "And here's a picture of Amy Winehouse taking out the trash." "And here's a picture of Zac Efron getting gas." "And here's a picture of Paris Hilton reading to her friend in coma." "They really are just like us." "They tried classic rock." "Burn out the day" "Burn out the night" "I can see no reason to put up a fight" "I'm burning, I'm burning I'm burning for you..." "And when nothing else worked, they went for the grand finale." "The stuff they were doing didn't do so much to bring me back, but it had a big impact on the place I was." "Do I smell bacon?" "Well, it wouldn't be morning in the Hickey household without fresh-cooked bacon from Paris." "Paris, France?" "No, silly, Paris Hilton." "That's hot." " Randy, what are you doing?" " I told Paris I'm a cowboy." "That's hot." "Well, it's off to work." "Big meeting put the boss today." "Bye, sweetie." "That's hot." "Randy wasn't a religious man, other than believing in the Great Pumpkin, but these were desperate times." "Dear Lord, it's me, Randy Hickey." "Please tell me what to do to save my brother." "But Lord..." "I'm sorry, I'll let you finish." "Perfect." "I know how yo help you." "I'll be right back." "Why didn't you tell me this before?" "You're right." "I should've asked." "Guys, I know how to save Earl!" "God's Little Finger!" "Oh, snap!" "I forgot all about that creepy little faith healer." "Randy, you believe in faith healers?" "You're suspicious of the weatherman." "Faith healers just cure diseases." "They don't pretend to predict the futur." "He's right." "This kid's the real deal." "The power of God will heal you!" "Heal you!" "In the name of God, it will heal you!" "Joy and Randy knew Gerald was real because, 'cause they had seen him within buried in ice." "Rising," "Rising!" "Rising!" "God's Little Finger says heal!" "Oh, my God." "I think I can see light." "And now I see sheaves." "I think..." "I can see." "Oh, it's gone." "Oh, wait." "It's back again." "Oh, it's gone again." "You're just blinking, brother." "You'll get used to that." "Praise God." "Pick me!" "Pick me!" "In the name of the Father Son and the Friendly Ghost, pick me!" "Joy wasn't usually the religious type, except she was in battering." "Found herself in higher need." "You got to heal my giant zit." "My high school reunion is this weekend, and I want my english teacher to regret picking his wife over me." "What happened to your leg?" "I tripped over some conjoined twins." "Wasn't my fault." "I didn't see the back one." "Dady, give me one more person up here on stage." "Pick me!" "I can barely walk." "Damn it, Earl, this is my turn." "This zit's getting so big, it's got a little zit on the side of it." "You, sir, you with the mustache and the gimpy leg." "Don't worry, Joy." "I'm sure everybody at your reunion's gonna be talking about your black and white kids and your terrible personality, not your big, disgusting zit." "I'm charging up with the power of Christ!" "I'm charging!" " You ready?" " Yeah." "Bring it!" "God's Little Finger says heal!" "Oh, my God." "My leg doesn't hurt." "Incredible!" "I'm healed!" "The flick sound a little low." "Rising!" "God's Little Finger says heal!" "Got it!" "The next morning, that zit crusted over and flicked right off." "A healer healed my grandmother of Restless Leg Syndrom right before she died of cancer." "In hindsight, we should have targeted the cancer." "Knowing I needed a miracle, my friends went to track down that little faith earler." "Unfortunaty, he had lost his faith." " So, could you?" " I'm sorry, I don't heal anymore." "I wear these to make sure I don't even touch anybody by accident." "I don't get it." "Why wouldn't you want to fix people?" "Why don't you ask the harlot?" "Turns out a couple days after healing us with the spirit of the Lord," "Gerald saw us filled with the spirit of the Devil." "I'm in front of Chubby's Groceries where we have acquired exclusive security-cam footage of the latest robbery by the criminals weird dubbing "Smokey and the Tube Top Bandit."" "According to victims, the female perpetrator uses the lure of a flimsy tube top as a distraction while her mustachioed accomplice absconds with their shopping cart." "Here you can see a bystander attempt to stop the accomplice only to be assaulted by canned good." "After interviewing the victims, police have released these sketches." "Witnesses noted the female pertrator's... glowing, flawless skin." "And her accomplice cat liked speed and agility." "God in Heaven, what have I done?" "How am I supposed to know who to heal and who not to?" "I'm not God." "Just his little finger." "Yep, you ruined a really good thing." "No more revivals." "No more fancy, two-story house." "Now, I'm killing possums just to keep the lights on in this dumpp." "You charged people for faith-healing?" "He may have healing powers from God, but it's not like he can multiply loaves and fishes." "His family still needs to eat." "Wouldn't you do the same think?" "Unlikely." "I have a turtle who can tap-dance, given the right song and surface, and I let people watch him for free." "You don't have to feel bad anymore." "It's okay that you healed Earl, 'cause he's not evil." "He's turned his life around." "He even made a list, of all his bad deeds, and he's making up for 'em." "We could even put you on it, since he upset you and all." "Here." ""Made a healer boy scared of his own hands."" "Boom, done." "Now if you wake him up, he'll fix it." "He made up for all this?" "Maybe he really is good." "This is great." "Now, we can get back to doing the Lord's business." "We won't have to skimp by the food I took from work." "Hold on a second." "What about you?" " Do you have a list, too?" " I don't need a list." "I may have jacked up some people now and then, but only when they damn well had it coming." "How do I know she's not evil?" "One:" "I'm American." "Two:" "I saw all my pregnancies through to the end." "And three: nobody can look this good without the lord on her side." "Unless they have the evil on their side." "I'm not gonna even dignify that comment with a response, you little lying bat-faced Bible freak." "Blaspheming Jezebel!" " Tiny pecker!" " I'm gonna go listen to Christian rock." "I need a smoke." "So what do we do now?" "Is there any way you boys can prove to my son that that lady is a good person?" "God's Little Finger?" "More like God's Middle Finger, and you're pointing it at yourself." "How's that feel?" "I'll be in the car." "It's going to be though." "Brain waves are minimal, heart rate is at 20, but his internal organs are all top shelf." "So let's get this transplan draft started." "Dr. Fujimoto, since you haven't saved a patient in three weeks, you get first pick." "I want his gall bladder." "Fuj, what are you doing?" "You always take the liver in the first round." "My condition was getting worse, and in my coma mind, things were changing, too." "That is fantastic news, sir." "A raise and an expense account at Montgomy Ward?" "I'll talk to my wife about it right now." "About what?" "Two-three-four." "You're looking at the new vice president of Slathery and Mather." "You got a promotion." "Oh, honey, that's wonderful." "But it'll mean moving away." "For good." "And leaving all my friends and family." "Since Gerald had seen a video of Joy doing bad things," "Darnell wanted to show some videos of Joy doing good things, which didn't exist." "I thought you said this was going to look like" "I was standing in front of an Alaskan oil spill." "This is just our big, blue sex tarp." "We've had picnics on this." "Trust me." "Back in the day, I could make one hell of a propaganda video." "Although, I'll admit my previous successes were with Third World villagers." "They'll believe anything if you give them a soda pop and a glow-in-the-dark Frisbee." "To prove that Joy is not evil, we put together this reel of Joy news highlights which we feel greatly outweighs her one unfortunate news lowlight." "I wish we could wait for Carter." "He's been tired up with those beavers that took over the water park." "All right, y'all, let's get this beach and all the animals cleaned up." "But save the oil, we can put it in cars." "No, thanks, I'll not drink another drop of water until breast cancer is cured." "I saved a thousand yuckets." "Find a cure." "Yes, sir, mission accomplished." "Great job, Maverick." "Way to go, Goose." "Don't worry, kid, I got your puppy and I'm gonna swim for help." "Make sure you stay in that air bule underneath the bumper pool table." "I just think that dogs and cats should be neutered, and if you would jump on this with me, we could really make difference." "In reply to the Vice President, I sent him the following wire..." "Vice President Nixon." "Vice President Nixon, Los Angeles, California." " Your sincere good wishes." " Your sincere good wishes" " are gratefully accepted." " You are to be congratuled." "You are to be congratuled on a fine race." "I know that..." "Let's do it." "I hope your father gets here in time to watch you." "Left a voice mail." "Darn beavers." "One, two, three, four." "I declare a thumb war." "I win again." "Get out of the way!" "Magic boy, magic hands!" "The power of the Lord within me," "The power of the Lord within me!" "It's charging up, it's charging up!" "Enough with the showmanship, just touch him with the finger, E.T." " You're gonna make him start over." " Here we go now." "The spirit's rising." " I call dibs on the first hug." " Rising, Rising!" "Are you ready?" "It's rising!" "Rising!" " God's Little Finger says..." " No!" "Don't!" "Don't do it, Gerald." "Why not?" "I'm back in business like you wanted, Dad." "Watch." "God's Little Finger says heal!" "Try it again." "God's Little Finger says heal!" "It's not working." "It's all this medicine." "We can't have true faith when we're still depending on all these machines." "Unplug him!" "Unplug everything!" "Stop!" "You can't heal people, Gerald." "This hole thing has been a scam." "After five years of believing he had powers," "Gerald was finally going to learn the truth." "A few years back," "Gerald's dad was trying anything he could to make a quick buck." "Hello, this is Ed from the bank." "Could you give me your account number, please?" "Damn it." "When out of the clear blue sky, he was hit with an idea." "Idiot." "Poor thing." "It's dead." "Gerald, don't touch it." "That's how your uncle got AIDS." "Oh, my Lord." "It's a miracle!" "That bird was as dead as a doornail, and my son brought it back to life." "He is an agent of the Lord!" "Get out your checkbooks!" "By the time we went to see Gerald, the miracle business is booming." "But as it turned out," "Gerald's dad needed a little help to keep the miracles coming." "Hey, dirt bag." "Want to make some real money?" "Hang on, hang on." "Let me see you limp." "Okay, but you're only going to look, right?" "I meant walk with a limp." "If Joy knew it was a scam, she would've made me split the money, so I told them I tripped on some Japanese twins." "Plus, I couldn't ruin the night for Randy." "I hadn't seen that look on his face since I blew his mind with the magic of "Got Your Nose."" "So... his powers only work on birds?" "No, that's not true." "'Cause he touched my monster zip, and the next morning, it was drying up on the pillow." "Yeah, I used to put some... pharmaceutical-grade Neosporin on the kid's hands." "Carter, how could you lie to us?" "How could you lie and cheat sick people out of thousands of dollars?" "I'm done." "I don't have powers anymore." "I'm done." "Look, I'm sorry I couldn't heal your brother but..." "This is great." "I can finally be a normal kid." "What's so great about that?" "Everything, Dad." "I wear plastic gloves on my hands." "To school." "And the only people who talk to me are the cafeteria ladies." "You can cross" ""Made a healer boy scared of his own powers"" "of Earl's list." "I didn't like having them to begin with." "Gerald, let's go." "So I got free passes to the water park." "Beavers are gone." "I'm sorry, Earl." "I really thought his magic finger was really gonna help." "Come on, guys." "Let's leave them alone." "Get the hell out of here!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go on!" "Well, I guess this is goodbye." "I don't want you to go." "I have to, buddy." "Everlast Car Service." "Pick up for Earl Hickey." "All right." "So long everyone." "I'm sorry I've made you do that inter-invention." "They look like a lot more fun on TV." "And I'm sorry Karma got so mad at you for throwing away your list that it hit you with a car again." "I wish you never would have made this stupid list." "Maybe our lives wouldn't have gotten any better, but at least, you wouldn't be leaving me." "But I know how important it was to you." "Maybe you didn't finish it, but you crossed a lot of things off." "I hope you crossed enough off to get into Heaven." "Let me cross off Gerald, too." "Maybe God will give you an extra dessert for each one you did." "The list?" "Right then, Randy realized the answer wasn't the kid, it was making up to the kid." "The list." ""N°45:" "Wasted electricity."" "I can't do it." "I'm staying." "That's hot."