"My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy." "Let's see." "I'm nine feet tall." "I weigh 643 pounds." "Got a little bit of a temper on me." "My passion bubbles very near the surface," "I guess, not gonna lie." "Anyhoo, what else?" "I'm a wrecker." "I wreck things." "Professionally." "I'm very good at what I do." "Probably the best I know." "The thing is, fixing is the name of the game." "Literally,  Fix-lt Felix, Jr." "So, yeah, naturally,  the guy with the name Fix-lt Felix is the good guy." "He's nice enough as good guys go." "Definitely fixes stuff really well." "But if you've got a magic hammer from your father,  how hard can it be?" "If he was a regular contractor carpenter guy," "I guarantee you would not be able to fix the damage that I do as quickly." "And when Felix does a good job, he gets a medal." "But are there medals for wrecking stuff really well?" "To that I say, "Ha!"" "And, no, there aren't." "Thirty years I've been doing this and I've seen a lot of other games come and go." "Kind of sad." "I think about all those guys from Asteroids." "Boom!" "Gone." "Centipede?" "Who knows where that guy is, you know?" "Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at." "I'm very lucky." "It's just, I got to say,  it becomes kind of hard to love yourjob when no one seems to like you for doing it." "All clear!" "The arcade is closed!" "Shoryuken!" "Whoo!" "What a day!" "You want to head to Tappers, Ken?" "If you're buying, buddy." "Quitting time!" "I don't know." "Maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way if things were different after work." "But it is what it is." "Good job, everyone!" "Felix and the Nicelanders go hang out in their homes which he's just fixed,  and everyone, you know..." "They go to their homes, I go to mine which happens to be a dump." "And when I say "a dump, "" "I don't mean like a shabby place." "I mean an actual dump,  where the garbage goes and a bunch of bricks and smashed building parts..." "That's what I call home." "I guess I can't bellyache too much." "I got my bricks, I got my stump." "It looks uncomfortable." "It's actually fine." "I'm good." "But if I'm really honest with myself..." "I see Felix up there getting patted on the back,  people are giving him pie and thanking him and so happy to see him all the time." "Sometimes I think..." "Man, it sure must be nice being the good guy." "Nice share, Ralph." "As fellow bad guys, we've all felt what you're feeling and we've come to terms with it." " Really?" " Right here." "I am Zangief." "I am bad guy." " Hi, Zangief!" " Hi, Zangief." "I relate to you, Ralph." "When I hit bottom," "I was crushing man's skull like sparrow egg between my thighs." "And I think, "Why do you have to be so bad, Zangief?" ""Why can't you be more like good guy?"" "Then I have moment of clarity." "If Zangief is good guy, who'll crush man's skull like sparrow's egg between thighs?" "And I say, "Zangief, you are bad guy," ""but this does not mean you are 'bad' guy. "" "Right." "I'm sorry." "You lost me there." " Zombie!" "Bad guy!" " Hi, Zombie." "Hi, Zombie." "Zangief saying labels not make you happy." "Good!" "Bad!" "You must love you." " Yeah!" "Inside here!" " Yes." "Okay." "All right, I get you." "Watch out." "It's dripping." "Question, Ralph." "We've been asking you to Bad-Anon for years now and tonight you finally show up." " Why is that?" " I don't know." "I just felt like coming." "I suppose it has something to do with the fact that..." "Well, today is the 30th anniversary of my game." "Well, happy anniversary, Ralph." "Thanks, Satan." "It's Sateen, actually." "Got it." "But here's the thing." "I don't want to be the bad guy anymore." "You can't mess with the program, Ralph." "You're not going Turbo, are you?" "Turbo?" "No, I'm not going Turbo!" "Come on, guys!" "Is it Turbo to want a friend?" "Or a medal?" "Or a piece of pie every once in a while?" "Is it Turbo to want more out of life?" "Yes!" "Ralph, Ralph, we get it." "But we can't change who we are." "And the sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be." "Hey." "One game at a time, Ralph." "Let's close out with the Bad Guy Affirmation." "I'm bad, and that's good." "I will never be good, and that's not bad." "There's no one I'd rather be than me." "Okay, gang, see you next week." "Listen, I can't do snacks next week." "Hang in there, Ralph." "Hey, Zombie, don't forget your hatchets." "There you go." "Step aside, sir." "Random security check." "Random my behind!" "You always stop me." "I'm just a surge protector doing my job, sir." " Name?" " Lara Croft." " Name?" " Wreck-lt Ralph!" "And where are you coming from?" "Pac-Man." "Did you bring any fruit with you?" "No!" "No." "No fruit." "Okay, then." "Where are you heading?" "Fix-lt Felix Jr." " Anything to declare?" " I hate you." "I get that a lot." "Proceed." "Bad guy coming!" "If you leave your game,  stay safe, stay alert,  and whatever you do, don't die." "Because if you die outside your own game you don't regenerate." "Ever." "Game over." "Here you go, buddy." "It's fresh." "Straight from Pac-Man's." "Hang in there, guys." "Name?" ""Happy 30th Anniversary"?" "They're having a party without me." "Pac-Man?" "They invited Pac-Man?" "That cherry-chasing dot-muncher isn't even part of this game!" "Great party, Felix." "Why, thank you, friend." "Felix." "You're needed on the dance floor!" "Fix-lt Felix!" "Fix-lt Felix!" "I'll bet that's Mario." "Fashionably late, per the norm." "I'll get it, Felix." "It's Ralph!" " He'll wreck the party!" " Hide the stemware!" "Get rid of him, Felix." "Oh, right." "I'll go talk to him." "Carry on, everyone." "Ralph, can I help you?" "Hey, Felix." "Just wanted to check on you." "I saw a big explosion or something go over the building there." "Those were just fireworks." "Fireworks." "Okay." "Phewf." "Somebody's birthday, or..." "Well, it's more of an anniversary." "The 30th anniversary of our game, actually." "What?" "Is that today?" "I know!" "I'm such a dummy with dates." "Anyway, congratulations." "Thank you, Ralph." "And to you, too." "Just a heads-up, Felix." "They're bringing out the cake in a few shakes." " Hey, Glen." " Ralph." "Cake?" "Heard about this cake stuff." "Never had it." "No one ever seems to throw it out so it never ends up in the dump." "I never actually tasted it." "I've always wanted to try cake." "I don't suppose you'd like to come in and have a slice, would you?" "Hey-o, everybody!" "I'm okay." "I'm okay." "Fit as a fiddle." " Now, you all know Ralph." " Evening." "Evening, Nell, Lucy, Don, Dana..." " Deanna." " Big Gene!" "Why is he here?" "He's just here for a slice of cake." "And I'm a big part of the game, technically speaking." "Why are you here, Gene?" "Oh, look!" "The cake!" "Well, I'll be dipped." "You've really outdone yourself, Mary." "Oh, and look!" "There's all of us at the top." "Each apartment is everyone's favorite flavor." "Norwood's is red velvet." "Guilty!" "And lemon for Lucy, rum cake for Gene," " and for Felix..." " Hey, Mary." "What's the flavor of that mud that I'm stuck in there?" "Oh." "Chocolate." "I've never been real fond of chocolate." "Well, I did not know that." "One other little thing." "I hate to be picky, but this angry little guy here..." " My cake!" "... might be a lot happier if you put him up here with everyone else." "See that?" "Look at that smile." "No, no." "You see, Ralph, there's no room for you up here." "What about this?" "We can make room." "Here." "We could take turns." "Easy." "How about we just eat the cake?" "Hang on." "Felix needs to be on the roof because he's about to get his medal!" "Then how about we just take that medal and give it to Ralph for once?" "Would that be the end of the world, Gene?" "Now you're just being ridiculous." "Only good guys win medals, and you, sir, are no good guy." "I could be a good guy if I wanted to, and I could win a medal!" "And when you do, come and talk to us." "Then would you finally let me be on top of the cake with you guys?" "If you won a medal, we'd let you live up here in the penthouse!" "But it will never happen because you're just the bad guy who wrecks the building." "No, I'm not." "Yes, you are!" "No, I'm not!" "Yes, you are." "All right, Gene." "You know what?" "I'm going to win a medal." "Oh, I am going to win a medal!" "The shiniest medal this place has ever seen!" "A medal that will be so good that it will make Felix's medals wet their pants!" "And good night!" "Thank you for the party." " Is he serious?" " Oh, please!" "Where's a bad guy going to win a medal?" "Of course he's not serious." "I've never been more serious about anything in my life." "That's why I came straight here, Tapper." "You've never given me a bum steer." "Now, come on." "Where can a guy like me go and win a medal?" "I don't think such a game exists, Ralph." "Oh, come on." "You know people." "There's got to be..." "Tapper, I need a root beer." "Coming!" "Hold that thought." "Okay." "As you were saying." "I was saying, I can't spend another 30 years living alone in the garbage." "I'm not going back without a medal." "Well, I don't know what to tell you." "Maybe somebody left a medal here." "You're welcome to dig through the lost and found." "Okay, let's see what we got here." "Go on, get out of here." "Mushroom?" "No." "What is this?" "No." "Come on, Zangief!" "Gross." "What am I doing?" " Hey, excuse you!" " We are humanity's last hope." "Our mission?" "Destroy all Cy-Bugs." "We are humanity's last hope." "You okay there, space cadet?" "We've only been plugged in a week and every day it's, "Climb the building, then fight bugs." ""Climb the building, fight more bugs!"" "Yeah, yeah." "Right." "Look." "Easy on the overalls, spaceman." "It's tough all over, all right?" "And all for what?" "A lousy medal?" "Medal?" "You win a medal?" "Yeah, Medal of Heroes." "Is it shiny?" "Pretty shiny." " And it says "hero" on it?" " Oh, yeah." "And you say you win it by climbing a building?" " And fighting bugs!" " Right, bugs." "Is there any chance I could go with you to your game and maybe get one of those medals?" " Negatory." " Does that mean maybe?" "No!" "Look, only the bravest and the best serve in our corps." "Bug!" "We are humanity's last hope." "Attention!" "The arcade will open in five minutes." "Please report to your games." "I can't feel my legs." "What is all this stuff?" "Smells like Ralph in here." "Okay." "All right." "What was it called again?" "Hero's something." "Duty." "Hero's Duty." "There it is." "Sorry, Q*bert." "It's me, Ralph." "The wall." "Morning, kids." "Come on in." "Good to see you." "Good to see you." "You, too, little fella." "Quarter alert!" "Quarter alert!" "This is not a drill." "Ooh!" "Sweet golden medal!" "On a planet with no name a top-secret experiment has gone horribly wrong." "You are humanity's last hope." "Rooting-tooting, ready for shooting!" "All right." "Now listen up, because I'm only going to say this once." "Fear is a four-letter word, ladies." "If you want to go pee-pee in your big-boy slacks, keep it to yourself." "It's make your mamas proud time!" "I love my mama!" "Heads up!" "First-person shooter, coming through!" "Ooh, robot!" "Game play in three, two, one." "We are humanity's last hope." "Our mission?" "Destroy all Cy-Bugs." "You ready, rookie?" "Let's find out." "Sweet Mother Hubbard!" "No, no, no!" "Wait a second!" "Cy-Bug, twelve o'clock." "Take it, newbie." "No, no!" "Wait, wait!" "Watch it, rookie!" "These monsters become what they eat." "My gun!" "Give me that back." "Shoot the eggs before they hatch!" "Oh, no!" "Something's coming out of their bottom!" " Oh, gross!" " Markowski!" "Get back in formation!" "All right, ladies,  the kitten whispers and tickle fights stop now." "The entrance to the lab is straight ahead." " I'll meet you guys inside!" " No!" "Sanctuary!" "Sanctuary!" "I thought this was going to be like Centipede!" "When did video games become so violent and scary?" "Please, get me out of here!" "Take her!" "What a rip-off!" "Get off me!" "It's game over." "Stop it!" "Beacon up!" "Cease fire!" "Cease fire!" "Attention!" "Return to start positions." "Return to start positions." "Here, let me help you." "Sorry about that." "Yeah, you must be upset." " Markowski." " Who?" "Yeah, me." "I'm Markowski." "What's the first rule of Hero's Duty?" "No cuts, no butts, no coconuts?" "Never interfere with the first-person shooter." "Our job is to get the gamers to the top of that building so they can get a medal, and that's it!" "So stick to the program, soldier!" "Right." "Right." "Aye, aye." "Quarter alert!" "Quarter alert!" "All right, pussy willows." "Back to start positions!" "Yeah, right." "No way I'm going through that again." "So that's where they keep the medal, huh?" ""New racers daily. "" "Sweet!" "I got next game." "Go away, kid!" "We're going to play all nine of today's racers!" "Yeah!" "Sorry." "Where's the wrecking guy?" "Where's Ralph?" "He should be wrecking the building." "Stick with the program." "Fix it, Felix!" "Ralph!" "Quarter alert!" "Game on!" "Do something, Felix!" "Just act natural." "I'll fix it." "Ralph!" "Ralph!" "What the..." "Ralph?" "Ralph!" "Oh, my land!" "Where is he?" "Mr. Litwak!" "What's the trouble, sweetheart?" "The game's busted." "I can fix it!" "I can fix it!" "Oh, boy." "Looks like the game's gone cuckoo, like my nana." "Sorry, sweetie." "Here's your quarter back." "But what about the game?" "I'll have someone look at it tomorrow..." "But if he can't fix it, it might be time to put old Ralph and Felix out to pasture." "Like my nana." "Ladies and gentlemen, we're out of order." "Sweet mercy!" "Without Ralph, we're doomed!" "They're going to pull our plug!" "Okay, everybody, calm down." "Ralph probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tapper's again." "See?" "There he is now." "Why, it's Q*bert." "What brings you here, neighbor?" "What's he saying, Felix?" "Stand by." "My Q*bert-ese is a little rusty." "Ralph's gone Turbo!" "Shiny." "Attention!" "The arcade is now closed." "Did you get a load of Markowski?" "Shut your chew holes." "Cy-Bug." "Taste it!" "Slick Tiddlywinking, pint-size." "I'm Fix-lt Felix, Jr. , ma'am." "From the game Fix-lt Felix, Jr." "Jiminey jaminey!" "Look at that high definition." "Your face!" "It's amazing!" "Flattery don't charge these batteries, civilian." "Now, state your business." "I'm looking for my colleague, Wreck-it Ralph?" "Never heard of him." "Well, Q*bert saw him come in here." "Impossible." "Nothing gets past me." "That came from the tower." "Nice eggs." "Nice eggs!" "Okay." "That was easy." "Congratulations, soldier." "It is my honor to bestow upon you the Medal of Heroes." "Wow!" "No way!" "Ten-hut!" "Wow!" "History will long revere your courage and sacrifice." "Well, thank you!" "You have etched in the rock of virtue a legacy beyond compare." "Thanks, guys." "At ease!" "You are the universe's greatest hero." "The living embodiment of all this corps represents." "Bravery." "Integrity." "Grace under pressure." "And above all, dignity." "Escape pod activated." "Get off my face!" "Incoming!" " Ralph!" " Cy-Bug!" "Oh, no!" "Sayonara,  sucker!" ""Sugar Rush"?" "Oh, no!" "This is that candy go-cart game over by the Whac-A-Mole." "I got to get out of here." "Oh, no!" "My medal!" "No, no, no, no, my medal!" "No, no, my medal!" "Hi, mister." "Hello." "Man, you scared me, kid." "I nearly soiled myself." "What's your name?" "Ralph." "Wreck-lt Ralph." "You're not from here, are you?" "No, well, yeah." "I mean, not from right in this area." "I'm just doing some work here." "What kind of work?" "Some routine candy tree trimming." "You probably want to stand back." "In fact, this whole area is technically closed while we're trimming." " Who's "we"?" " Candy tree department." "Where is everybody else?" "It's just me today." "So you just meant like the royal "we"?" "Yep." "That's right." "Hey, are you a hobo?" "No." "I'm not a hobo, but I am busy." "Okay?" "So you go home." "What's that?" "Didn't hear you." "Your breath is so bad it made my ears numb." "Listen, I tried to be nice." "I tried to be nice." " You're mimicking me." " You're mimicking me!" " Okay." " Okay." "That is rude, and this conversation is over." "And this conversation is over." "I wouldn't grab that branch if I were you." "I'm from the candy tree department, so I know what..." "It's a double stripe." "Double stripes break." "Why are your hands so freakishly big?" "I don't know." "Why are you so freakishly annoying?" "Why are you so freakishly..." "Sweet mother of monkey milk!" "A gold coin!" "Don't even think about it." "That is mine." " Race you for it!" " Hey!" "I don't have to race for it because it's mine!" " Double stripe!" " Come back here!" " The winner!" " Give it back!" "Give it!" "Double stripe." "Thank you!" "Wait!" "Let me talk to you for one second." "Okay." "Here's the thing." "I'm not from the candy tree department." "Lying to a child." "Shame on you, Ralph." "But I wasn't lying about the medal." "That is my medal!" "That's why I was climbing the tree." "It's mine!" "It's precious to me." "That thing is my ticket to a better life." "Yeah, well, now it's my ticket." " What the..." " See you, chump!" "Come back!" "I'll find you!" "I will find you!" "Double stripe!" "Nowhere to hide!" "Yeah, he banged around in here like some kind of hot shot, then he went barreling down into that sweet little game like a crazy person." ""Sugar Rush. "" "Cy-Bugs would chew up that game faster than a chicken hawk in a coop of crippled roosters." " What was that, now?" " What are you, thick?" "There was a Cy-Bug on that shuttle!" "Do you even know what a Cy-Bug is?" "I can't say that I do, ma'am." "Cy-Bugs are like a virus." "They don't know they're in a game." "All they know is eat, kill, multiply." "Without a beacon to stop them, they'll consume Sugar Rush." "But do you think they'll stop there?" " Yes!" " Wrong!" "Viruses do not stop!" "Once those Cy-Bugs finish off Sugar Rush,  they'll invade every other game until this arcade is nothing but a smoking husk of forgotten dreams." "Kohut!" "My cruiser." "Jeepers." "Is she always this intense?" "It's not her fault." "She's programmed with the most tragic back-story ever." "The one day she didn't do a perimeter check..." "Her wedding day." "Wait, ma'am!" "I'm going with you." "Like fun you are, short stack." "If you die outside your game, you don't regenerate." "Well, neither do you, ma'am." "And it is my job to fix what Ralph wrecks." "And I cannot ask you to risk your life cleaning up his mess." "No flex on this one, ma'am." "I am coming along with you." "Citizens of Sugar Rush..." "Just in time." "... all hail our rightful ruler, King Candy." "Hello, my royal subjects!" "Have some candy!" "Thank you for that stirring introduction, Sour Bill." "And thank you to today's avatars." "It was a wonderful day of racing." "It was." "But now the arcade is closed,  so it's time to wipe the slate clean and race to decide our new roster." "The first nine racers across that finish line will represent Sugar Rush as tomorrow's avatars!" "Race!" "Race!" "Race!" "Okay, calm down." "Listen!" "This event is pay-to-play." "We all know this." "The fee to compete is one gold coin from your previous winnings,  if you've ever won, which I have." "Let me go first!" "King Candy!" "Taffyta Muttonfudge!" "Stay sweet!" "Adorabeezle Winterpop." "Gloyd Orangeboar!" "Little stealer!" "Wait till I catch that brat." "Minty Zaki." "Snowanna Rainbeau." "Rancis Fluggerbutter." "Jubileena Bing-Bing." "Swizzle Malarkey." "Candlehead." "Sour Bill, who's that last one?" "Vanellope von Schweetz!" "Yippee!" "I'm in the race!" "Vanellope?" "The Glitch!" "Now, now!" "Everything is all right!" "Security!" "Come here, kid!" "We're not going to hurt you, you little freak!" "Get back here!" "Slow down!" "Slow down a little bit." "You!" "Give me back my medal right now!" " Ah, boy!" " Go!" "What is that?" "Come on!" "Go!" "Roll!" "Careful!" "What are you doing?" "Come back here!" "I can't move!" "Now we got him!" "Oh, good, the cops." "She went that way!" " Hold still!" " Take that!" "What are you doing?" "Okay, folks." "Calm down!" "Everything's all right." "The monster's been caught!" "We'll repair all the damage." "Don't worry." "We will have our race before the arcade opens." "And I'm in it." "Yes!" "There's no way that I am racing with a glitch." "Rancis, Candlehead, come on." "Sour Bill, that glitch cannot be allowed to race!" "And bring that thing to my castle." "Guys!" "She took..." "Or-e-oh Oreo!" "Or-e-oh" "Sour Bill, de-taffify this monster so we can see what we're up against here." "Mm-kay." "Milk my duds!" "It's Wreck-lt Ralph?" "Yeah." "Who are you, the guy that makes the donuts?" "Please." "No." "I'm King Candy!" "I see you're a fan of pink." "Salmon." "Salmon, that's obviously..." "What are you doing here?" "Look, Your Candiness, this is just a big misunderstanding." "Just get me out of this cupcake," "I'll get my medal, and I'll be out of your way." "Your medal?" "Bad guys don't win medals." "Well, this one did." "I earned it over in Hero's Duty." "You game-jumped?" "Ralph, you're not going Turbo, are you?" "What?" "No, no." "Because if you think you can come in here to my kingdom and take over my game, you've got another thing coming!" "Easy, Your Puffiness." "It's not my fault one of your children of the candy corn stole my medal." ""Children of the candy corn"?" "Who'd..." "The Glitch!" "The coin she used to buy her way into the race." "That was your medal?" "She did what?" "I need that back!" "Well, I'm afraid I can't help you." "It's gone, you know." "It's nothing but code now." "It will stay that way until someone wins the cup at the end of the race." "Maybe I'll have to have a little talk with the winner then." "Is that a threat I smell?" "Beyond the halitosis you so obviously suffer from." "Listen, Nilly-Wafer, I'm not leaving without my medal!" "Yes, you are." "Wynnchel, Duncan, get him out of that cupcake and on the first train back home." "If I ever see you here again, Wreck-lt Ralph," "I'll lock you in my fungeon." "Fungeon?" "Fun dungeon, you know?" "It's a play on words." "It's the..." "Never mind!" "I've got a glitch to deal with, thanks to you." "Goodbye, Wreck-it Ralph!" "It hasn't been a pleasure." "This thing is hard as a rock." "I can see that." " Get the tools." " What tools?" "Quiet, you!" "What?" "No!" " Take it easy, big boy!" " Stay away from me!" "He's getting away!" "Quick!" "Call out the Devil Dogs." "Chocolate." "I hate chocolate!" "I got to get my medal back." "The pot goes to the winning racer!" "Hey, kids!" "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Hello, fellow racers!" "It's that little crumb snatcher." "Candlehead, Taffyta, Rancis, you're looking well." "Came by to check out the competition, huh?" "Well, here it is, the Lickety-Split!" "Sheesh." "Looks like she built it herself." "I built it myself." "Fastest pedal-power west of the Whac-A-Mole." "Check her out." "Vanellope, it's so..." "You." "But you have to back out of the race." "Yeah." "No, I don't, because I paid my fee and I'm on the board..." "So, yeah, I'm definitely racing." "Yeah, well, King Candy says glitches can't race." "I'm not a glitch, Taffyta." "I've just got pixslexia, okay?" "The rules are there for a reason, Vanellope." "To protect us." "Say I'm you." "I'm in my weird little car and I'm driving and I actually feel kind of cool for once." "And then, all of a sudden, oh, no." "I'm glitching!" " Hey!" " See?" "You're an accident just waiting to happen." "Oh, no!" "I glitched, too!" "Uncool." "Stop it!" "Stop!" "You're breaking it!" "Please!" "I just want to race like you guys." "You will never be a racer because you're a glitch." "And that's all you'll ever be!" "Hey!" "Leave her alone!" "Let's get out of here!" "Scram, you rotten little cavities!" "Before I throw you in the mud!" "What are you looking at?" "You're welcome, you rotten little thief." "I'm not a thief!" "I just borrowed your stupid coin." "I was going to give it back to you as soon as I won the race." "It's not a coin." "It is a medal." "Coin, medal, whatever." "Just go back to your own dumb game and win another one." "I can't." "I didn't win it in my game." "I won it in Hero's Duty." "Hero's Doodie?" "It's not that kind of duty." "I bet you really got to watch where you step in a game called Hero's Doodie!" "What did you win the medal for, wiping?" "I hope you washed your hands after you handled that medal." " Listen!" " One more, one more." "Why did the hero flush the toilet?" " Say "why. "" " Why?" "Because it was his doodle!" "How dare you insult Hero's Duty?" "You little guttersnipe!" "I earned that medal and you better get it back for me toot-sweet, sister!" "Well, unless you've got a go-cart hidden in the fat folds of your neck," "I can't help you!" "What a moron." "Hey, genius!" "It's a jawbreaker." "You're never going to break..." "Enjoy your little tantrum, diaper baby?" "Leave me alone." "Look, you want that medal, right?" "And I want to race." "So here's what I'm thinking." "You help me get a new cart..." "A real cart..." "And I'll win the race and get you back your medal." "You want me to help you?" "All you got to do is break something for me." "Come on." "What do you say, friend?" "We are not friends." "Come on, pal." "You son of a gun." "Come on, buddy." "Let's shake on it." "Come on, chumbo." "Ralph, my man." "My main man." "Hey!" "My arm's getting tired." "Do we have a deal or not?" "You better win." "Well, I'll say this much, they don't call your friend "Wreck-lt" for nothing." "There's the shuttle." "Is he in there?" "Nope." "Lucky for him." "Otherwise I would have slapped his corpse." "No Cy-Bug, either." "Got to find it before it lays its filthy eggs." "It came this way, but the sugar particles in the atmosphere are jamming my sensor." "Can't get a read on it." "So what is it with this Wreck-lt joker?" "Why did he go AWOL?" "I wish I knew, ma'am." "He was acting all squirrelly last night..." "Going on about cake and medals..." "But I never thought he'd go Turbo." ""Go Turbo"?" "That's right, you guys just got plugged in." "Well, back when the arcade first opened," "Turbo Time was by far the most popular game." " And Turbo..." " Turbo-tastic!" " He loved the attention." " Turbo-tastic!" "So, when RoadBlasters got plugged in and stole Turbo's thunder..." "New game." "All right!" "Boy, was he jealous." "So jealous that he abandoned his game and tried to take over the new one." "These are the greatest graphics I've ever seen!" "Turbo-tastic!" "Hey." "Is that..." "That looks like Turbo." "Hey." "Is that..." "That looks like Turbo." "What's Turbo doing in this game?" "Aw, come on!" "Mr. Litwak!" "Turbo ended up putting both games and himself out of order, for good." "Yes, the selfish man is like a mangy dog chasing a cautionary tale." "I know, right?" "That's why I have to get Ralph home or the same thing's gonna happen to my game." "What is this?" " "Nesquik Sand"?" " Quicksand?" "I'll hop out and grab you one of those vines." "I can't hop." "I'm hop-less." "This is hopeless!" "We're going to drown here." "Stop thrashing." "Stop moving." "You're making us sink faster." "We're going to die!" "Get ahold of yourself!" "The vines." "They're Laffy Taffy." "They're attracted to whatever makes them laugh." "Here, hit me again." "That's not funny enough." "Harder!" "Look, you're a nice guy." "I can't..." "No, ma'am!" "The arcade is depending on us." "Now do your duty." "That's an ord..." "It's working!" "Hit me again." "Your eye." "I can fix it." "Now..." "San Fran-tastic!" "Again!" "You mean business!" "Yikes on bikes!" "Wow!" "We're... killing... them!" "Comedy gold!" "All right, enough with the goo-goo eyes." "We've got work to do." "Let's go." "We lost the Cy-Bug." "Come on." "We'll get a better view from the air." "You think you can fix that shuttle?" "Can do." "All right, do your thing, knuckles." "Bust it open!" "What's this?" "You're a full-on criminal, aren't you?" "Hey, we shook on it." "Thank you, Jeeves." "What is this place?" "Where are the carts?" "You gotta make one." "What?" "No, no." "Look, kid, bad idea." "Trust me." "I don't make things." "I break things." "Well, it looks like you're going to be stepping outside your comfort zone, then, Gladys." "This is a good one!" "Welcome to the bakery!" "Let's bake a kart!" "What is this, another game?" "Yeah, well, it's a mini-game." "You have one minute to win it." " What?" " Come on, Ralph!" "Go!" "Mixing." "Put the ingredients in the bowl and throw away the trash." "Hairbrush." "No!" "Underpants." "No, no!" "You're getting all the wrong stuff, kid." "I'm trying!" "Let me up there." "I'll do it." "No." "Yes." "Gross." "Milk." "Yes, yes, yes." "Batter up!" "Come on!" "No sleeping on the job!" "Baking!" "Pump up the heat and hold the perfect temperature." "Ralph, a little help here?" "I'm on it." "Yeah, no problem." "Give me this thing here." "Okay, good." "Little more." "Yeah, that's it!" "Hold it, hold it, hold it." "Yes!" "Come on." "Get up, Ralph!" "Fifteen seconds!" " Decorating!" " Wheels first." " How many?" " Four, doy!" "Got it." "Now frosting." "A buttload of frosting!" "No problem." "Time's up!" "Congratulations." "You did it, and here's your cart!" "Look, kid..." "I tried to warn you." "I can't make things." "I just break..." "I love it." "You do?" "I love it." "I love it!" "I love it!" "I love it!" "Look, it's got a real engine!" "And look at these wheels." "I love it!" "I finally have a real cart!" "Come on." "A work of art like this must be signed." "Cream puffs." "This is Beard Papa." "The Glitch is in the bakery!" "Get me King Candy!" "What?" "You have teeth?" "I don't think I've ever seen you smile before." "I'm not smiling." "I was..." "I'm gassy, okay?" "Hold it right there, Glitch!" "And Wreck-lt Ralph?" "Start the cart!" "Start the cart!" "What are you waiting for?" "Come on." "Let's go!" "I don't know how to drive a real cart." "You don't what?" "Are you hurt, Sire?" "No, he just glazed me." "Get them!" "Gangway!" "Stop, in the name of the king!" "That's me!" "Get off the road!" "Head for Diet Cola Mountain!" " Drive into the wall!" " What?" "Right there, between the two sugar-free lollipops!" " Are you crazy?" " Just do it!" "Where did they go?" "They should have just turned." "Find that glitch!" "Destroy that cart!" "She can't be allowed to race!" "So let me get this straight." "You don't know how to drive." "Well, no, not technically." " I just thought that..." " What did you think?" ""I'll just magically win the race" ""just because I really want to!"" "Look, wise guy." "I know I'm a racer." "I can feel it in my code." "That's it!" "I'm never getting my medal back." "What is the big whoop about that crummy medal anyway?" "The big whoop?" "Well, this may come as a shock to you, but in my game," "I'm the bad guy and I live in the garbage." " Cool." " No." "Not cool." "Unhygienic and lonely and boring." "And that crummy medal was going to change all that." "I go home with that baby around my neck and I'll get a penthouse." "Pies." "Ice sculptures." "Fireworks!" "It's grown-up stuff." "You wouldn't understand." "No, I get it!" "That's exactly what racing would do for me!" " Well, guess what?" " What?" "News flash!" "Neither one of us is getting what we want!" "What was that?" "Yeah!" "Check it out." "Look!" "You got to watch out for the splash." "That stuff is broiling hot." "Yeah, I got that." "Thank you." "What is this dump?" "I think it's some sort of unfinished bonus level." "Yeah." "It's pretty cool, huh?" "I found that secret opening, and now I live here." "See?" "Look, look, look." "Welcome to my home!" "I sleep in these candy wrappers." "I bundle myself up like a little homeless lady." "By yourself?" "With all this garbage around you?" "Well, yeah." "I mean, everyone here says I'm just a mistake and that I wasn't even supposed to exist." "What do you expect?" "Listen, kid..." "I know it's none of my business but why do you even stick around this game?" "You really don't know anything, do you?" "Glitches can't leave their games." "It's one of the joys of being me." "Hey, what are you doing?" "Come on!" "I know it's a dump, but it's all I got." "If you're going to be a racer, you're going to have to learn how to drive." "And you can't do that without a track." "All right, now." "Let's hustle up." "We've got some driving to do." "I'm going to learn to drive!" "I'm going to learn to drive!" "Wait." "Do you know how to drive?" "Yeah!" "I mean, I haven't done it, but..." "Look, I flew a spaceship today, okay?" "You crashed it." "Just get in." "How hard can it be?" "Okay..." "Start it up." "There we go." "So there are some buttons on the floor." " Pedals." " Pedals." "Right." "Now, that's the go pedal." "That I believe is the stopper." "And this..." "Wait." "What is this?" "That doesn't do anything." "What does this joystick do?" "Okay, good." "Let's try that again." "Now shift it." "That's good." "Keep going!" "Shift it again!" "I told you, racing's in my code!" "I got that medal in the bag!" "Hey, Ralphie, watch this!" "Look out!" "Hot cola!" "So how did I do?" "Well, you almost blew up the whole mountain." "Right, right." "That's a good note." "You got to get that glitch under control, kid." "Okay, I will, I will." "And then you think I got a chance?" "Tiny." "Yes, I'm going to win!" "I'm going to win!" "I'm going to win!" " Top shelf." " Top shelf." "Did you find her?" "Tell me you found her." "You didn't?" "Go." "Leave me." "Up, up, down, down..." "Start!" "The code." "It's the sweet lifeblood of the game." "Where are you?" "Let's see..." "Stadium, no." "Jumbotron." "There it is." "The winner's cup." "One of these things is not like the others..." "It's you!" "We're going to give you a nice new home." "Success!" "Sour Bill, I'm going out." "You're in charge of the castle until I get back." "Your face is still red." "You might want to hit it again with your hammer." "That's not blunt force trauma, ma'am." "That's just the honey glow in my cheeks." "Okay." "Ma'am, I just got to tell you..." "You are one dynamite gal." "Wow, you are one dynamite gal." "One dynamite gal." "Dynamite gal." "Dynamite gal." "Dynamite..." "Get out." "All I said is you're a dynamite gal." "I said get out!" "Jiminey jaminey." "Yes?" "I'm Fix-lt Felix Jr. , sir, from the game Fix-lt Felix Jr." "Have you seen my friend Ralph?" "Wreck-lt Ralph?" "Yes." "Yes, that's him!" "We should have locked him up when we had the chance." "Locked him up?" "I'm not making the same mistake with you." "Hurry, hurry!" "Let's go." "Time's a-wastin'." "Come on, Ralph!" "This is it." "This is really happening." "I almost don't believe it." "I mean, I have dreamt about it for so long, and now..." "And now..." "Now I think I'm going to puke, actually." "I mean, I think I might puke." " You know, like a "vurp. "" " A what?" "Vomit and a burp together, and you can taste it, and it's just like rising up." "This is so exciting!" "Yes, it is." "It's exciting." "Am I ready to be a real racer?" "Ralph, what if the gamers don't like me?" "Who doesn't love a brat with dirty hair?" "Come on." "Those people are going to love you." "You know why?" " Because you're a winner." " I'm a winner." " And you're adorable!" " I'm adorable!" "And everyone loves an adorable winner!" "Yeah!" "Okay, come on." "Listen to me." "If you get nervous, just keep telling yourself," ""I must win Ralph's medal or his life will be ruined. "" " And have fun." "Got it?" " Got it." "Oh, wait!" "Hold on!" "Where are you going?" "I forgot something!" "I'll be right back!" "Kids." "Ralph!" "There you are." "Hello!" " You!" " I come alone, unarmed." "I've had enough of you, pillow pants!" "Please." "Calm down!" "Please, look." "Don't!" "I'm going to beat the filling out of you!" "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?" "You hit a guy with glasses." "That's..." "Well played." "What do you want, Candy?" "Listen, I just want to talk to you." "I'm not interested in anything you have to say." "How about this?" "Are you interested in this?" "My medal." "How did you..." "It doesn't matter." "It's yours!" "Go ahead, take it." "All I ask is that you hear me out." "About what?" "Ralph, do you know what the hardest part about being a king is?" "Doing what's right, no matter what." "Get to the point." "Point being, I need your help." "Sad as it is, Vanellope cannot be allowed to race." "Why are you people so against her?" "I'm not against her!" "I'm trying to protect her!" "If Vanellope wins that race she'll be added to the race roster." "Then gamers can choose her as their avatar." "And when they see her glitching and twitching and just being herself,  they'll think our game is broken." "We'll be put out of order for good." "All my subjects will be homeless." "But there's one who cannot escape because she's a glitch." "Help!" "Somebody, help!" "Help!" "And when the game's plug is pulled..." "No!" "... she'll die with it." "You don't know that will happen." "The gamers could love her." "And if they don't?" "I know it's tough, but heroes have to make the tough choices, don't they?" "She can't race, Ralph, but she won't listen to me." "So can I count on you to talk a little sense into her?" "Very good." "I'll give you two some time alone." "I'm back!" "Did you miss me?" "Yeah..." "Can we talk for a second?" "Wait." "First, kneel down." " What?" "No, we really..." " Will you just do it?" "Okay." " Now, close your eyes." " Vanellope..." "Shush!" "Close them!" "Okay." "Open them up." ""To Stinkbrain. " Gee, thanks." "Turn it over." "I made it for you." "Just in case we don't win." "Not that I think there's even a remote chance we're not going to win." "Thanks, kid." "Listen..." "Now rise, my royal chump." "I've got a date with destiny." "Ralph, come on." "Move your molasses." " I've been thinking." " That's dangerous." "Who cares about this stupid race anyway?" "Right?" "That's not very funny, Ralph." "No, I'm serious, and it was really fun to build the car and everything..." "But maybe you shouldn't do it." "Hello?" "Is Ralph in there?" "I'd like to speak to him, please." "Look, what I'm saying is you can't be a racer." "What?" "Why would you..." "Wait a minute." "No!" "Where did you get this?" "Look, I'm going to be straight with you, kid." "I've been talking to King Candy." " King Candy?" " Yeah." "You sold me out?" "No, I didn't..." "Listen." "You don't understand." "No, I understand plenty." "Traitor!" "I'm not a traitor." "Listen." "You're a rat!" "And I don't need you, and I can win the race on my own." "But I'm trying to save your skin, kid!" "Put me down!" "Let me go!" "No, you listen to me." "Do you know what's going to happen when the players see you glitching?" "They'll think the game's broken." "I don't care!" "You're a liar!" "You better care, because if your game goes out of order, you go down with the ship, little sister!" "I'm not listening to you!" "Get out of my way!" "I'm going to that race!" "No, you're not!" "Take me down from here, Ralph, right now!" "No." "I'm doing this for your own good!" "Wait, wait, wait." "No." "No." "No, no, no, no, no!" "Please, Ralph!" "No!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "No!" "You really are a bad guy." "Hello?" "Anybody home?" "Felix?" "Mary?" "Well, you actually went and did it." "Gene." "Where is everybody?" "They're gone." "After Felix went to find you and then didn't come back..." "Everyone panicked and abandoned ship." "But I'm here now." "It's too late, Ralph." "Litwak's pulling our plug in the morning." "But never let it be said that I'm not a man of my word." "The place is yours, Ralph." "Enjoy." "Gene, wait!" "Wait!" "Listen, this is not what I wanted!" "Well, what did you want, Ralph?" "I don't know." "I just..." "I was just tired of living alone in the garbage." "Well, now you can live alone in the penthouse." "Hey, cough drop." "Explain something to me." "If Vanellope was never meant to exist, then why is her picture on the side of the game console?" "What's going on in this candy-coated heart of darkness?" "Nothing." " Talk!" " No." " I'll lick you." " You wouldn't." "Oh, yeah?" "That's like sandpaper!" "Wonder how many licks it will take to get to your center." "I'll take it to my grave!" "Fair enough." "They call you Sour Bill for a reason." " Had enough yet?" " Okay, I'll talk, I'll talk!" "Vanellope was a racer until King Candy tried to delete her code!" "Tried to delete her code?" "So that's why she's a glitch!" "Why is he doing this to her?" "I don't know!" "Suit yourself." "No, no, no!" "I swear I don't know!" "He literally locked up our memories and I cannot remember!" "Nobody can!" "But I do know this." "He'll do anything to keep her from racing." "Because if she crosses the finish line, the game will reset and she won't be a glitch anymore!" "Where is she now?" "In the fungeon with Fix-lt Felix." "Felix?" "I'm sorry!" "That's all I know, I swear!" "Now, please, don't put me back in your filthy mouth again!" "Stick around." "Yes, okay, I will." "I will." "Thank you!" "Come on." "I know you're out there." "Saccharine-saturated nightmare!" "But..." "Where?" "Doomsday and Armageddon just had a baby and it is ugly!" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Somebody!" "Anybody!" "Please let me out!" "What's he say?" "I'm gonna wreck it!" "Why do I fix everything I touch?" " Felix!" " Ralph!" "I'm so glad to see you!" "Wait." "No, I'm not." "What do you have to say for yourself!" "Wait!" "I don't want to hear it." "I'm not talking to you!" "Okay, don't talk." "That's fine." "But you have to fix this go-cart for me pronto." "I don't have to do boo!" "Forgive my potty mouth." "I'm just so, so cross with you!" "Do you have any idea what you put me through?" "I ran higgledy-piggledy all over creation looking for you." "I almost drowned in chocolate milk-mix!" "And then..." "I met the most dynamite gal." "She gives me the honey glow something awful." "But she rebuffed my affections." "And then I got thrown in jail!" "Felix, pull yourself together." "No!" "You don't know what it's like to be rejected and treated like a criminal!" "Yes, I do." "That's every day of my life." "It is?" "Which is why I ran off and tried to be a good guy, but I'm not!" "I'm just a bad guy, and I need your help." "There's a little girl whose only hope is this cart." "Please, Felix, fix it." "And I promise I will never try to be good again." "I know, I know, I'm an idiot." " And?" " And a real numskull." " And?" " A selfish diaper baby." "And?" "And..." "A stinkbrain?" "The stinkiest brain ever." "My sweet subjects," "I can without a pinch of hesitation assure you that I have never been so happy in all my life to say the following words,  let the Random Roster Race commence!" "Okay, remember, you don't have to win." "Just cross that finish line, and you'll be a real racer." "I'm already a real racer." "And I'm going to win." "Have some candy." "Behind you!" "In front of you!" " It's The Glitch!" " The Glitch?" " It's The Glitch!" " The Glitch?" "Light them up, Candlehead." "What's this?" "Cherry bombs!" "I told you." "You're just an accident waiting to happen." "My candle!" "All right." "Gotta keep it under control." "No more glitching." "Okay, kid." "Let's finish this thing without any more surprises." "Hope you're happy, junkpile." "This game is going down, and it's all your fault." "My lady, you came back." "Can it, Fix-lt!" "That Cy-Bug you brought with you multiplied." "No." "It died in the taffy swamp." "Believe me, I..." "Bullroar." "Listen up, people." "Head to Game Central Station now!" "Move it!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "No!" "Get off of my track!" "Hey!" "What, are you crazy!" "I forbid you to cross that finish line!" "Knock it off!" "Ralph, look!" "Kid!" "Stop it!" "I'm not letting you undo all my hard work!" "Is that..." "No way!" "What the..." "Who are you?" "I'm Turbo, the greatest racer ever!" "And I did not reprogram this world to let you and that halitosis-riddled warthog take it away from me!" "Turbo-tastic." "End of the line, Glitch!" "Glitch." "That's it." "Come on, Vanellope." "I know you said you wouldn't do it again but you're going to do it one more time." "Just focus and concentrate and glitch!" "Sweet mother of monkey milk!" "I did it!" "No!" "Bring it home, kid!" "The finish line is wide open!" "No!" "Kid!" "Are you okay?" "I'm fine." "I'm fine." "Let's finish this race!" "Oh, my land." "All right." "Come on." "We gotta get out of here." "But I didn't cross the finish line!" "There is no finish line!" "Move it or lose it, people." "Everybody, out." "Now!" "Ralph, it's not going to work!" "We got to try!" "Kid!" "Ralph, I told you I can't leave the game." " Come on." "Get through." " Ralph!" "Stop!" "It's got to work!" "Stop, it's no use." "It's okay, Ralph." "All right, Fix-lt." "That's everyone." "Now, we've got to blow up this exit." "Just go." "Go without me." " But what about this game?" " Nothing we can do about it." "Without a beacon, there's no way to stop these monsters." "Beacon?" "Stay with Felix." "Let me borrow that thing, lady." " Ralph!" "Where are you going?" " I got some wrecking to do!" "I'll meet you at the finish line!" "No!" "Wait!" "Fix-lt, get behind me!" "Come on!" "One more!" "One..." "Welcome to the boss level!" "Turbo." "Because of you, Ralph," "I'm now the most powerful virus in the arcade!" "I can take over any game I want." "I should thank you but it would be more fun to kill you." "Get back here, little guy!" "Have some candy!" "Where do you think you're going?" "I'm not through with you yet." "Up we go!" "No!" "Ralph!" "Fall back." "Kid!" "Vanellope!" "Look at that." "It's your little friend." "Let's watch her die together, shall we?" "No!" "It's game over for both of you." "No." "Just for me!" " Ralph!" " Vanellope!" "I'm bad, and that's good." "I will never be good, and that's not bad." "There's no one I'd rather be  than me." "Kid!" "Don't worry." "I got it under control." "You fools!" "Why are you going into the ligh..." "No!" "No, no, no." "Yes..." "No!" "Yes..." "No!" "Go into the light!" "Chocolate?" "It's chocolate!" "I love chocolate!" "Oh, beautiful chocolate!" "Yeah!" "You did it, Ralph!" "Way to go, brother!" "I..." "Excuse..." "All fixed." " You ready for this?" " As ready as I'll ever be." "What's with all the magic sparkles?" "Princess Vanellope?" "Now I remember." "All hail the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush..." "Princess Vanellope." "I remember." "She's our princess!" "Oh, that's right!" "We are so sorry about the way we treated you." "Yeah, those were jokes!" "I was just doing what Taffyta told me to do!" "Tut-tut." "As your merciful princess, I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be executed." "What?" "No, please!" "Oh, my land." "This place just got interesting." "I don't want to die!" "I'm just kidding." "Stop crying, Taffyta." "I'm trying, but it won't stop." "Wow." "So this is the real you." "Princess." "Aw, Ralph, what are you, nuts?" "Come on." "This isn't me." "This is me." "Look, the code may say I'm a princess but I know who I really am, Ralph," "I'm a racer with the greatest superpower ever." "I was here, I was there." "I was glitching through the walls." "I'm not giving that up." "Pardon me for asking, but without a princess, who's going to lead us?" "Yeah." "Who?" "Me." "I'm thinking more along the lines of a constitutional democracy." "President Vanellope von Schweetz." "Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" "Fix-lt, Wreck-lt, the arcade's about to open." "Let's move 'em out." "You could just stay here and live in the castle." "You'd have your own wing where no one would ever complain about your stench or treat you bad ever again." "You could be happy." "I'm already happy." "I've got the coolest friend in the world." "And besides, I've got a job to do, too." "It may not be as fancy as being president but it's my duty." "And it's a big duty!" "Ralph, are you coming, brother?" "See you later, President Fart Feathers." "Au revoir,  Admiral Underpants." "And farewell, Baroness Boogerface." "Goodbye, Major Body Odor!" " Hasta la vista,  you..." " Ralph!" " All right." "To be continued." " Yeah!" "Hooray!" "I'm gonna wreck it!" "Hey!" "Ralph's back!" "Isn't that great!" "The gang's all here!" "So, I'm happy to report, and you'll be happy to hear," "I'm taking life one game at a time." "All right!" "Yeah, Ralph!" "Of course, the job hasn't changed." "But, news flash,  the Nicelanders are being nice to me!" "But, news flash,  the Nicelanders are being nice to me!" "And that got me thinking about those poor guys left without a game." " So here's what we did." " We're gonna wreck it!" "We asked them to help us out on the bonus levels." "We can fix it!" "I'm telling you, guys,  we haven't been this popular in years." " It's crazy." " Wow!" "The gamers say we're "retro, "" "which I think means "old but cool. "" "How come we never noticed this game?" "And I decided that living in the dump wasn't making me feel very good," "so I cleaned it up,  built myself a little shack and a couple for the new guys, too." "Well, with a little help from Felix." "And guess who was the best man at his and Calhoun's wedding." "That's right, my friends,  old Ham Hands himself." "Very elegant affair." "You should've seen it." "Lot of grandeur." "And not a single bug." "Let's just say, some tears were shed." "But I got to say, the best part of my day is when I get thrown off the roof." "Because when the Nicelanders lift me up," "I get a perfect view of Sugar Rush." "And I can see Vanellope racing." "Yes!" "The kid's a natural." "And the players love her, glitch and all." "Just like I knew they would." "Turns out I don't need a medal to tell me I'm a good guy." "'Cause if that little kid likes me..." "How bad can I be?"