"Here you go, Sammy." "I know I was supposed to drop Sam off in daycare, but the only other kid there was a creepy little girl with freckles." "Please don't give my son your prejudice of redheads." "They're god's mistakes, J.D. Accept it." "You know what?" "Let's not fight, because Sammy, today is the 7-year anniversary of the first time your daddy and I ever kissed." "I forgot!" "Distract her so you can run and get some flowers." "Darling, do you know what Sam loves?" "When you sing Old McDonald." "He does?" "Nobody loved Elliot's tone-deaf rendition of Old McDonald." "# Old MacDonald had a farm # # Farm... #" "It was so excruciating I knew exactly how long it took her to finish." "Look out!" "I had 44 seconds." "# And on that farm there was a cougar #" "# Ee I ee I o #" "# With a... here # # And a... there #" "# Here a..." "There a... # # Everywhere... #" "Stupid line!" "You loved shoplifting when you were a kid." "Just grab something and run." "Be cool, Honky." "Hey, Leonard." "What's that?" "Leonard, calm down!" "# Ee I ee I o # Did you like that, Sammy?" "I feel like you raped my soul." "That was wonderful, darling." "I got you a little anniversary present." "Why would you get me a toothbrush?" "Damn it!" "I thought it was a sex toy." "Okay, just cover." "I borrowed your toothbrush this morning, when I was showering, dropped it, and I may have peed on it, a little." "You pee in my shower?" "You know baby, I'm making this up." "I forgot to get you a present." "So you don't pee in my shower?" "Of course not." "Oh yes I do." "You don't have to get me a gift for the anniversary of a kiss." "That's the best part about us having dated before." "We don't have to deal with that drama ever again." "The best." " I got you." " Look..." "That's how the old Leonard used to behave." "Hook it up." "Spring was in the air and everyone was getting caught up in it." "Whether it was a new romance..." "Have you ever been in love before?" "Once." "She was a janitor." "Well, for her the mop always came first, you know." "And I was fine, until..." "One day, I come home from work early and there they are, in bed." "It was just cuddling, but still, you know." "It's really the emotional betrayal that makes it hard to talk about." "But you've changed all of that for me." "Or an old romance still going strong." "Excuse me!" "Could you hold that please?" "Excuse me!" "My god, you make me so hot!" "Why?" "Other couples just weren't clicking." "Are you mad at me?" "I'm not mad, I'm hurt." "You've been ignoring me so much it makes me wanna punch something." "God you're firm!" "I'm just bummed about Carla." "Between Izzy and her being pregnant again, it's like I don't have a wife anymore." "She's just a mommy." "Is it that bad?" "Don't you love listening to her breathe on the baby monitor?" "Sometimes." "Baby." "I thought you said you wanted to get it on." "We're not finished?" " We haven't started." " Oh sorry." "Do your thing." "It's pretty bad." "What the hell was that for?" "I wanted to see if it was as firmer when you weren't expecting it." " And?" " Firmer." "That's right." "Let's call this meeting of the Brain Trust to order." "As you know, ever since our esteemed member Lloyd died snorkeling in his father's pool, we've tried to make do with the next best thing." "Still, I think we realized that's not really working out." "Especially since Todd keeps high-fiving it and knocking it over." "Look at how he's posed." "I can't resist!" "Yes you can." "That is why I had you over to my garage last weekend to take my seminar on willpower." "And you still owe me 60 bucks." "Now, Brain Trust by law 47a clearly states what, Ted?" " "Live free or die."" " That's New Hampshire." "47a clearly states we must always have exactly four members." "So I proudly announce the re-instatement of Doug Murphy as a permanent member of the Brain Trust." "Permanent member until you find someone you like better, right?" "Come on!" "You're just being insecure." "Dudes!" "You're alive!" "You're out." "Lloyd, you're back in." " We thought you were dead." " Faked my own death, bro!" "I was in debt big time to a bookie." "Anyway, didn't work out." "Saw me at a mall." "So what's new?" "Can I borrow 80,000 bucks?" "Can't really swing that, Lloyd." "Our credit lines overextended since we had Cheap Trick play at the Brain Trust picnic." "Goodbye Lloyd." "And Doug is back in, permanent!" "You know, until Lloyd gets back on his feet." "Okay, meeting adjourned." "And, oh!" "Almost forgot, jeez." "Ted, pass these out to everyone in the hospital." "Cardboard five!" "I want you in my garage this afternoon." "Bring 120 bucks." "And a steak sandwich." "Season 8 Episode 14 My Soul On Fire:" "Part 1" " What the hell is this?" " Oh my god!" ""You are cordially invited to the wedding of Lady and the janitor."" "The janitor is getting married before me?" "That's it." "I may actually kill myself." "Of course, I'm the only one who wasn't invited." "Here's yours." "Okay." "Do not reveal how touched you are." "Turk, could you please pass me the salt for my baked potato." "This wedding is in three days." "And it's in the Bahamas." "Nobody's going to this thing." "Oh I know I'm not." "I heard at night, the octopuses come out on the land and drag people up into trees and rip their faces off with their powerful suction cups." "I guess I was moved by the janitor's invite, because I did this." "I know the janitor isn't exactly a friend to us, but he is a part of our family." "A horrible, horrible part." "Like an uncle who shows up at your ballet class, and whispers "Good girl" when you plié." " You have an uncle like that too?" " That's not important, Carla." "Still, I think we should use this as an opportunity to go on a much needed vacation." "We work very hard." "And I think it's time to live a little." "You really think we should go?" "I'm really just sort of talking to these two tables." " Just these." " The two of them." "But you said we should all live a little." "And I think you should on your own." "But in this circumstance, I was just talking at just mainly these, these two tables focusing here." "Actually..." "I'm thinking about going." "Bob, I..." "I didn't see you there." "So..." "I am talking to your table as well, Todd, but not your chair." "Not your chair." "Surprisingly, my friends listened." "We can't go, Turk." "We'd never left Izzy alone before." "Baby, separation is healthy." "You want to know what happens to kids who are too close to their mothers?" "They end up like that." "Mom, when I'm gone," "I guess your feet will just have to rub themselves!" "Ted has his own room now." "He only sleeps with his mom when he's had a bad dream." "Or she has." "Honey, all I'm trying to say is that with Izzy and a new baby on the way, this might be our last chance to have some you and me time." "I'm in." "Awesome." "Think about it, Elliot." "Three days and you're walking on the beach in your bikini." " That's sexy." " Shut up." "Cool." "What?" "I know I have to be in a bathing suit." "Hey Feldman!" "Fire up the fat vac!" "Mama need some lipo." "Dude." "We are in for the Bahamas." "Upstairs!" "Downstairs." " I still don't like downstairs." " Really?" "You haven't come around yet?" "Anyway, I got you a present." "It's an exact replica of the tiki from The Brandy Bunch Goes To Hawaii episode" "Greg had this on when he got into the surfing accident," "Peter had it on when he saw the tarantula in the bed," " And Alice..." " Turk, Turk." "I've seen it before." "Do you remember the music they played when anything bad happened?" "Wait, you don't have one." "Or do I?" " Downstairs!" " Really?" "No!" "What's wrong with you?" "I didn't want to do it either, I think it's stupid." " Where'd you get them?" " I bought them on the Interweb." "The seller was anonymous but I think I know who it was." "Sold!" "Finally." "These things have been ruining my life for too long." "The curse is yours, John Dorian." "The curse is yours!" "Man, that guy hates normal doors." "Do you think if we wear these, bad stuff will happen to us?" "That's kind of the fun, isn't it?" "I need your signature on that spleenectomy patient's discharge form." "This pen doesn't work." "That's gonna be annoying." "Now you made my woman all mad." "Good god." "Tiki-bump." "That was sextastic." "I kind of feel lightheaded." "A good loving will do that to you." "So will not eating for 36 hours." "Elliot, just say it was the good loving, as a joke." "Fine." "That was the good loving." "I knew it." "J.D." "Forget it." "What?" "Okay." "What the hell." "Here goes." "I love you." "I love you so much the last thing I think about before we go to bed at night and the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning is our future." "Come here." "I love you too." "And there it was." " A moment so perfect that I..." " That's it?" "What?" "I did not just say "I love you", I actually explained how much" "I love you, plus you weren't even looking at me." "But I do love you." "I think you're the most amazing woman that I've..." "No, no." "You are not getting off that easy." "You have to obsess over it a little like I did, see." "I actually jointed down some notes in my notebook on how to get into the whole "I love you" conversation before I settled on the fake spontaneous blurting thing." "You do know that you're a crazy person?" " Course." " Just checking." "Now you think about it and surprise me when I'm not expecting it." "Night." "Elliot, when I think about our love..." " Too soon." " Okay." "What are you doing?" "The van to take us to the airport is downstairs." "It's called my job, it's that little thing I do 70 to 80 hours a week while you're eating, drinking, napping, spending, plucking, ignoring the children and singing rap tunes into a hair brush." "You forgot about the nanny cam in the bedroom, didn't you?" "# I like it like that # # She working that back #" "# I don't know how to act # # Slow motion for me #" "I did, but I'm okay with it." "Because I'm fly." "You realize I'm probably gonna have to work the entire time we're there?" "The only thing better than going on vacation without our kids is going without our kids and you're too busy to spend time with me." " You don't mean that." " I do." "It's an amazing gift." "Come on!" "Dear god!" "What the hell are you wearing?" "I just got my Bahamas gear on." "Have you seen my cute white linen shirt?" "It looks better on me." "I know you're very proud you've been working out" " but we're in a hospital so button up." " Fine." "The second we get to the Bahamas, it's going to be raining abs." "Hope Town!" "We made it." "Baby, look at this place." "Okay." "So Izzy drank her whole bottle, right?" "Okay, great." "Excuse me, when you're done with that phone, may I borrow it to call my kids?" " Really?" " No." "Did you even bother to tell the babysitter she has to stay overnight this weekend?" "She'll figure it out." "Ted, wait here for my bag." "Got enough sunscreen on there Ted?" "I go through a tube about every three hours." "My skin drinks it." "What's that about?" "Todd went to med school there." "And then we saw where Todd got it from." "His old professor was the best high-fiver in all the world." "And then, we'd all have sex to celebrate surviving." "Chop chop, Ted." "I could kill him here." "You know how much I love you." "When I first..." "Not in front of everybody." "Plus..." " I'm a little lightheaded." " Because you haven't eaten in 3 days." "I know what my body can take." "Don't care." "Let's go." "Tiki time." "Should we go check in with everybody else?" "Not yet." "I gotta wiz." "There's a bathroom like right there." "I know but I'm already in." "Fine, Elliot." "You know, the Abacos have incredible snorkeling." "Since you're not a strong swimmer, let's say we get really really drunk and go later." "Darling, I distinctly remember telling you I had to do some work down here." "But if you'd like me to stop so that we can spend some time together, you just say... a word." "Never." "Hey, meathead." "I've got a present for you." "I'm thinking of going bonefishing." "I'm going bonefishing right now." "And Ms. Sullivan, thanks so much for that setup." "You're welcome." "Go away." "No way!" " I can't believe you came!" " I know, right?" "Why the hell did you come?" "I rallied the troops." "I invited you to a wedding in a foreign country on 3 days' notice" "You weren't supposed to come!" "I just wanted the gifts." "You see any of the other 847 invites here?" "We're not even having a ceremony, man!" "Fine, then we'll just have a vacation." "No harm done." "All right." " You have to." " Elliot, you are so right." "Honey," " We're gonna have a ceremony." " A big one." "I'm gonna kill you." "We loved our hotel room, but then Elliot saw something that made her skin crawl." "Here's the towels you wanted." "Thanks, sweety." "There's no way I'm using those after that little redhead freak touched them." "I can smell his freckles." "I can't believe you hid this hatred from me for seven years." "Deal with it." "Hey, baby." "What are you doing in there?" "Oh just putting some sunscreen on my face." "Good, cause..." "I think now might be a really nice time to tell you that I love you so much..." " J.D, I'm pooing." " See you at the beach." "I miss Izzy but" "I always imagined being some place like this with you." "Just be here, Turk." "Hey, Diane." "Here comes my ex-wife and your beard." "Fifty percent real." "Enjoy." "You two both've gotten a good look?" "Some of these." "Little of that." "Yeah?" "Good, then we're done." "Give me that." "Oh my god." "Conch fritters." "You guys, I'm gonna see you later." "I'm gonna go get like 40 of these." "She should have gotten a lipo." "It does hurt a little bit when I sit, though." "Hey, Gandhi." "Here comes your better half." "That's what I'm talking a- bout?" "She's wearing shorts and a mom suit." "No." "Don't you nuh nuh nuh my wife!" "Hi guys!" "How you doing?" "I left my cell phone in the room." "I'm gonna go back and get it in case something happens with Izzy," "I'll be back." "How awesome is this!" "Doesn't look any better going away, does it, Gandhi?" "I got two words for you guys." "Banana and hammock." "Baby, you know why I love the Bahamas?" "They got brothers on the money, check it." "Don't that look like Uncle Dare?" "Why aren't you out on the beach?" "Because Daddy came to seduce you." "But for me to get my sexy mode," "I'm gonna need you to take off the hat and stop picking your toes." "It's alright, I'll push through it." "Baby, look." "Izzy's not here." "And this is the Bahamas." "The islands of making love." "You..." "Me..." "The ocean." "Underwater relations." "Lead the way." "That's the nanny." "This'll just take a second." "Okay." "It's cool." "I'm gonna head down to the water." "It'll be just like our honeymoon." "Nobody will see what we're doing except for the mermaids." "Baby, for the last time, mermaids aren't real." " I know what I saw, woman!" " Don't yell at me." "Hi." "How is she doing?" "You know what else you should do when you told me when you love me?" "Keep your hands away from her mouth." "Hey." "D'you..." "My god, she ate the rine." "Anyway, when you tell me, make sure I'm wearing something cute, like my new blue bikini," " it really helps my like pop..." " Elliot, stop, okay?" "You told me you loved me, I told you I Ioved you back." "We both know how we feel about each other, that should be enough, right?" "Stop acting so crazy." "I know it's wrong but with our relationship clicking," "I couldn't help but feel smug watching everyone else's melt in the hot Bahamian sun." "Oh my god." "Are you ever gonna stop working and have some fun?" "I knew darn well you were full of crap when you said you didn't care if I spent time with you, but truth be told," "I finished all my work on the plane before we got here," "I just wanted to prove a point." "Wind is really taking that baby." "Carla, where are you?" "Hey, sweety." "It's okay, it's okay." "Mommy's here." "None of that drama for Elliot and me." "For us, it was smooth." "Elliot, where are you going?" "She's all mad." "Gary, I'm going to need two Mamas, please." "Thank you, sir." "For what?" " Can I at least have your fruit?" " Get out!" "Ted, you had one job." "Keep the people I invited from actually coming to the weeding." "Did you tell them about the octopi that drag them into trees and suck their faces off?" "I did, but they didn't believe me!" "What?" "This isn't a problem." "Did you remember to pack the giant octopus suit I made for you?" "Crap!" "Teddy!" "You're killing me!"