"YES, YES!" "THANK YOU." "AND WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL PARKIE AWARDS." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "NOW, WE HAVE A TRULY STAGGERING " "EVEN GRUELING " "NUMBER OF AWARDS TO HAND OUT TONIGHT." "[ BOTH GROAN ]" "SO LET'S JUMP RIGHT INTO THE FUN, HUH?" "!" "OUR FIRST AWARD IS FOR BEST RANKING." "THE AWARD FOR CLEANEST POND GOES TO..." "THE PARK WITH THE MOST WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN IS..." "OKAY, HALFWAY DONE, FOLKS." "AND FOR MOST UNIFORM LAWN..." "BEST BIRTHDAY SPOTS FOR HEALTHIEST TREES." "[ APPLAUSE ]" "LET'S GIVE IT UP TO HARRISON LAKE PARK" "FOR MOST FERTILE LAND!" "HOW DO THEY DO IT?" "[ APPLAUSE ]" "[ GROANS ]" "WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR HOURS!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "!" "YOU'RE ACTING LIKE CHILDREN!" "I'M UP FOR PARK MANAGER OF THE YEAR." "THIS IS THE BIG LEAGUES." "GENE USUALLY SWEEPS THE AWARDS," "BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I HAVE A CHANCE THIS YEAR." "I MEAN, AFTER THAT EMBARRASSING FERTILIZER FIASCO" "EAST PINES HAD?" "[ CHUCKLES ] IT'S IN THE BAG." "WELL, THIS SEEMS LIKE AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY" "THAT WE REMEMBER THE FALLEN." "OUR PARK-MANAGER BRETHREN," "NONE OF WHOM HAD WON AN AWARD BUT WILL STILL BE MISSED," "DESPITE THEIR LACK OF EXCELLENCE." "[ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ]" "[ CROWD SIGHS, APPLAUDS ]" "AND NOW A MOMENT OF SILENCE." "I'D LIKE TO THANK WING KINGDOM FOR SPONSORING THIS EVENT!" "BEFORE YOU GET YOUR ANGEL WINGS, COME BY AND GET SOME SPICY ONES." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "AND NOW THE AWARD WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR..." "THE PARK MANAGER OF THE YEAR AWARD!" "THE NOMINEES ARE..." "Announcer:" "KIMMYGEHBERTFROMMICROPARK ." "SLICERERICSON FROMALLEYWAYPARK." "GENEFROMEASTPINESPARK ." "ANDBENSONFROMPARK." "WHAT?" "!" "THAT'S NOT THE PICTURE I TOLD YOU TO SEND!" "BUT DON'T YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW THE REAL YOU, BENSON?" "YEAH, IT'S HONEST." "AND THE PARKIE GOES TO..." "SHH -- THIS IS IT!" "BEN..." "[ GASPS ] ...JAMIN SMITH!" "HE'S ANOTHER GUY WHO DIED." "THAT'S FOOD FOR THOUGHT." "ANYWAY, GET UP HERE, GENE!" "YOU WON!" "THIS IS GENE'S NINTH NOMINATION AND NINTH WIN IN THIS CATEGORY." "IT'SHIS18thWIN TONIGHT." "HEY, I NEEDED ANOTHER BACK SCRATCHER, AM I RIGHT?" "!" "[ LAUGHS ]" "I'M RUNNIN' OUT OF ROOM FOR THESE THINGS!" "WELL, THANKS, I GUESS." "HERE'S TO ANOTHER 18 WINS!" "[ LAUGHS ]" "THE BEST OF THE BEST CERTAINLY WON TONIGHT, HUH, FOLKS?" "ANOTHER BIG THANKS TO WING KINGDOM," "AND WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR AT THE ANNUAL PARKIE AWARDS!" "OKAY, SO I DIDN'T WIN." "IT'S AN HONOR TO EVEN BE NOMINATED." "[ CHOMPING ]" "[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 18 IN A ROW!" "I LOVED ALL THE DRESSES." "JUDGED BY A JURY OF MY PEERS." "WITH PEERS LIKE THESE, WHO NEEDS FRIENDS?" "!" "HEY, UH..." "WHY DON'T YOU GO GET SOME FRESH AIR?" "I'M GONNA GET SOME FRESH AIR!" "JOKERS WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD PARK FROM A HOLE IN THE PARK." "BENSON TOOK THAT PRETTY HARD." "YIKES." "I'M EMBARRASSED FOR HIM." "MAN, BENSON'S 10 TIMES THE PARK MANAGER GENE IS." "LOOK, HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE THAT HE WON." "HAH!" "THEY GIVE AWARDS FOR ANYTHING THESE DAYS." "I FLOSS TWICE A DAY -- NOMINATE ME FOR THAT!" "[ LAUGHTER ] HOT WINGS, SIR?" "DEFINITELY!" "THERE'S JUST NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD." "LET'S GRAB BENSON AND GET OUT OF HERE." "HEY, BENSON, HOW ABOUT WE HAVE A GUYS' NIGHT OUT?" "HOW'S THAT SOUND?" "YEAH, WE COULD DO IT UP!" "WE'D JUST NEED SOME WINGS," "SOME SLO-MO EXPLOSIONS, A SWEET RIDE." "THAT STUFF'S FOR WINNERS -- WINNERS LIKE GENE." "HE'S PROBABLY OUT HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE." "WE'LL SEE HOW GOOD A TIME HE HAS" "WHEN HE FIGURES OUT THISISMISSING!" "WHAT THE?" "HUH?" "OH, MY!" "RIGBY, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" "!" "WHAT BETTER WAY TO FEEL LIKE A WINNER THAN WITH A REAL AWARD?" "!" "BESIDES, HE DIDN'T EVEN MISS IT." "IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING!" "WHAT, IS IT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT?" "HERE, I'LL FIX IT!" "NO!" "WE HAVE TO CALL GENE NOW!" "WE'LL TELL HIM WE HAVE HIS AWARD" "AND IT'S ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING." "[ Dialing ]" "GENE, IT'S BENSON." "CALL ME BACK." "IT'S IMPORTANT." "I GOT THE MACHINE." "WELL..." "WHILE WE'RE WAITING TO HEAR BACK," "WE COULD HAVE A LITTLE FUN!" "OOH!" "OOH!" "OOH!" "OOH!" "[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]" "[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]" "[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]" "[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]" "[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]" "[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]" "[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]" "MAN, GUYS, WHAT A NIGHT!" "I REALLY JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY." "WELL, [CHUCKLES] I KNOW WHAT I WOULD'VE SAID IF I'D WON." "IT WAS A SHOW-STOPPER SPEECH." "I HAD TO EDIT IT DOWN THREE PARAGRAPHS" "I'D WRITTEN ABOUT THIS GUY." "AND YOU WERE IN IT, AND YOU WERE IN IT " "AND EVEN YOU GUYS ARE IN IT." "WHO-O-A!" "WHO-O-A!" "WELL, NOT IN THE ORIGINAL," "BUT I EDITED YOU IN AFTER HOW MUCH FUN WE JUST HAD." "[ BOTH CHUCKLING ]" "[ SIGHS ]" "TOO BAD I'LL NEVER GET TO SAY IT." "MAYBE IT'S NOT TOO LATE, BRO." "MEGA-COOL OF YOU TO LET US IN LIKE THIS, MAN." "EH, NO PROBLEM." "THE SET'S GETTING TRASHED TOMORROW ANYWAY." "[ DOOR CREAKS ]" "All: [ Chanting ] SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH!" "[ CHUCKLES ] WOW!" "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY UP HERE." "SORRY, SORRY." "I'LL START." "[ CLEARS THROAT ]" "FIVES?" "IT'S NOT ME!" "I JUST TURNED ON THE LIGHTS!" "[ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ]" "HUH?" "WHAT THE?" "[ SCREAMS ]" "[ ALL SCREAM ]" "[ Australian accent ] HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, MATE?" "!" "I'M GIVING MY SPEECH?" "I'M JUST TRYING TO HAVE MY MOMENT." "YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF MOMENTS!" "YEAH!" "ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE?" "!" "I NEVER GOT TO GIVE A SPEECH!" "I NEVER GOT TO GIVE A SPEECH, EITHER!" "JARED, THE ADULTS ARE TALKING HERE." "HEY, I DIED THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE!" "YOU JUST FORGOT TO CHEW YOUR FOOD!" "WELL, VICTORIA JUST FELL OFF A LOG!" "WELL, AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET KILLED BY DIRT," "LIKE OLD QUICKSAND OVER HERE!" "HUH?" "!" "GIVE ME THAT MIKE!" "HEY!" "[ GRUNTS ]" "[ FEEDBACK ] OOF!" "THAT'S IT!" "[ GRUNTS ] [ GASPS ]" "YOU GOT TO LEARN FROM YOUR ELDERS!" "[ GRUNTS ]" "HUH?" "OOF!" "CHILD COMING THROUGH!" "Jared:" "MY CHOCOLATE!" "[ BOTH PANTING ]" "[ ALL GRUNTING ]" "[ FEEDBACK ] HEY!" "[ GRUNTING ]" "LOOK AT YOURSELVES!" "WHAT ARE WE DOING?" "!" "WE ALL JUST WANT THE SAME THING " "TO BE APPRECIATED." "SO WHY ARE WE FIGHTING?" "!" "WE'VE ALL GIVEN SPEECHES TO OURSELVES " "IN THE SHOWER, IN THE CAR," "SO LET'S GIVE THEM TO EACH OTHER, RIGHT HERE," "RIGHT NOW -- TOGETHER." "[ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS ]" "UH, OH, WOW, GEEZ!" "THIS THING'S HEAVY." "I ACTUALLY -- I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING PREPARED." "AND YOU CAN SHOVE IT!" "AND YOU CAN SHOVE IT!" "WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, COACH GUNDERSON!" "AND YOU CAN SHOVE IT!" "OH, AND YOU CAN " "AND I SAID, "MOM, YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IN ME," "BUT BELIEVE IN MY PARK!"" "[ SOBBING ]" "AND ME AND MY MATES WERE IN THE OUTBACK," "DOWN BY THE OPERA HOUSE," "WHEN THIS CROCODILE COMES FLYING OUT OF NOWHERE!" "WELL, I GOT THAT CROC IN A HEADLOCK" "AND PUNCHED HIM IN THE STOMACH!" "THAT'S THE END OF MY STORY." "THANK YOU!" "BOOMERANG!" "[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]" "LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, BENSON!" "All: [ Chanting ] BENSON, BENSON, BENSON, BENSON!" "THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" "IT'S A GREAT HONOR TO HAVE RECEIVED THIS AWARD " "[ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ] UH, UH..." "THEY SAY THE THIRD TIME'S A CHARM!" "[ MUSIC INTENSIFIES ] I SAY IT'S THE SEVENTH!" "UH, I'D LIKE TO THANK POPS, SKIPS, MORDECAI," "MUSCLE MAN, HI FIVE GHOST!" "[ MUSIC INTENSIFIES ] HUH?" "WHO'S DOING THAT?" "!" "CUT IT OUT!" "AND THE AWARD FOR BREAKING AND ENTERING GOES TO BENSON!" "TOO BAD THERE'S NO TROPHY FOR IT." "GOT YOUR MESSAGE!" "THOUGHT I'D FIND YOU HERE." "OH, RIGHT." "THIS BELONGS TO YOU." "SORRY TO WORRY YOU." "[ LAUGHS ]" "SORRY." "I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS MISSING." "AIN'T LIFE FUNNY?" "ANYWAY, THANKS!" "OH, AND I HOPE YOU DIDN'T TAKE YOUR PICTURE WITH IT." "'CAUSE THEY SAY YOU'LL NEVER WIN AN AWARD IF YOU DO." "WHAT?" "THAT'S PROBABLY JUST AN OLD PARKIES URBAN LEGEND." "I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "[ LAUGHS ] WHOA, THERE." "SEE YOU AT THE NEXT LODGE MEETING!" "[ TIRES SCREECH ]" "♪" "[ SIGHS ]" "LET'S JUST GO HOME." "♪" "Mordecai:" "AND THE PARKIE GOES TO..." "BENSON!" "FROM PARK." "COME TO THE STAGE AND CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!" "All: [ Chanting ] SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH!" "HERE YOU GO, BENSON." "YOU DESERVE IT." "THIS IS REALLY THE BEST AWARD I COULD WIN." "I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU GUYS." "NOT JUST FOR BEING THE BEST STAFF I'VE WORKED WITH," "BUT ALSO BEING THE BEST FRIENDS I COULD ASK FOR." "BECAUSE OF YOU, EVERY DAY I COME INTO WORK," "I FEEL LIKE A TRUE WINNER." "THANK YOU."