"Previously on "Saving Hope"..." " Give him another chance." " He left me." "So he's literally just acting out his dreams." "Sir, you can't be in here." "Let's get you back to your..." " I got it." "I got it." "I got it." " Maggie, you're with me." "We're gonna do a left thoracotomy and find the bleed." " Charlie, I got to cut her." "Move." " I've got it, Charlie." "I've got it." "Charlie?" " **** - ****" "Push more." "Okay, get off." "I'm gonna open her chest." "Am I dead?" "No." "I don't have a heartbeat." "You're gonna make it." "My heart isn't beating." "It will." "You just need to hold on, okay?" "Okay, Charlie, I need you to shut up so that I can work." "Surgical scissors." "Once I'm in, suction." "Throw in some sponges." "And expose the heart and find the bleed." "Okay, I'm in." "Rib spreader." "Is there a hole in my heart?" "Suction those clots for me, please." "Selective intubation looks good." "Left lung is deflated." " I feel like I'm gonna die." " No." "No, you're not." "Dawn is fixing you." "You stay with me, okay?" "I got a pulse." "Code white." "Code white." " Fourth floor call room." " Nurse." " What's code white?" " Somebody stabbed Alex." "Okay, Maggie, I need you to hold back the lung." "Suction." "Quick and dirty." "Shoot!" "I feel strange." "I know." " But I'm right here." " Charlie, I need you to be quiet." "Maggie, every time she breathes, that lung is in the way." "I'm trying." "Baumann, I need you to lower her respiratory rate." "I need B.P. on the minute." "I feel like there's somewhere else I need to be." "Alex!" " Don't forget the piñata." " I won't." " Beautiful day, Ms. Reid." " Yeah, it is." "Hey, sweet pickle!" "Hi, mom." "Happy Birthday." "You slept in." "Have I got a day planned for you." "I think I've found it." "Right ventricle." " I can't see anything." " It's a sea of blood in here." " Baumann, I need more volume." " I'm getting it as fast as I can." " Hey, you need hands?" " Yes." "Scrub up." "Charlie, get out!" " Did they catch the guy who stabbed her?" " Yeah." "Joel's sleepwalker." "Joel's what?" "Joel's patient." "I got it." "Hey, Charlie, is she okay?" "Hey, Charlie!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Come on." "Okay, we've got blood pressure." "80/50." "Congratulations, Alex." "Sats are coming up." "I'd clap, but I have a lung in my hand." "Okay, don't celebrate yet." " Where do you want me?" " Over there." "Alex has a hole in her right ventricle." "My finger is in that hole, but I need to stitch it." " So, Maggie, your finger... yeah." " Goes in the heart hole." "You hold back the lung." "You suction." "Retractor." "One..." "Two." "Maggie, perfect pressure." "You enlarge that hole, it becomes too big to fix." " Do you hear me?" " Yep." "Three." "I'm in." " B.P. is low." " Low!" "I know!" "She's... she's hanging in there." "Okay." "4-0 pledgeted prolene." "Come on." "Maggie." " Are you crying?" " No." "Because if you move, she dies." "Looks like the thrilla in vanilla." "Yeah." "We got to break this up." "We do?" "Well, I'm short, you're skinny." "Let's do this." "Okay." "Hey." " Okay." " Guys, hey!" " Whoa!" "Charlie, hey!" " All right, all right." "That's enough." "Over, it's over." "Dr. Bell." "She's stable." "We found the bleed, and I'm stitching it." "We're gonna look for any other injuries, and then we're gonna close her up." " She's stable." " For now." "Define "stable."" "Joel, she's lost a lot of blood, okay?" "I'm doing the best that I can." "That's the full report." "Godzilla, Mothra, you want to shake paws, call it even?" "Joel." "Not a good time, Zach." "I know, but I need you to come with me now." "Joel." "Stay away from her." "It's not gonna happen." "Mothra didn't have paws, man." "She was a moth." "Okay, first we have to stop at the BiWay and get party supplies." "What do you think we should get?" " Balloons." " Definitely balloons, and we have chips, dips, beer for the grown-ups, hot dogs, hamburgers, cake, and last but not least, a piñata." "How do you spell "piñata"?" "P-i-ñ-a-t-a." " What about the "y"?" " There is no "y."" "It's Spanish "ñ."" "Oh." "I'm gonna go get daddy." "No, honey, you need to stay up here, okay?" "Daddy's working." "You can pour your own syrup." "All right." "One pancake for you." "And you..." "Valerie is gonna come by and watch you for a couple of hours, mister." "The birthday monster and I have a bunch of things to do today." "Here you go." "A little bit of syrup." "Mmm!" "Be a good, good boy." "You know what we need?" "We need music." "Make it more festive in here." "Ah, here we go." "Come on!" " Maggie, buzz that bleeder." " On it." "Intense." "Very intense." "This is still a bloody mess." "All right, guys, let's finish this housekeeping and get her off the table." " How's Alex?" " She's stable." " She's a fighter." " Zach, I don't want to talk about it." "Looks like you got a little trauma yourself there." "How the hell did Ian Taft get through security?" "I don't know, but he threw himself off the roof." "Threw himself off the roof of this building!" "What is happening in this hospital?" "Look, if you want, I can get another orthopod." "No, no, you did the right thing by getting me here." "I'm here now." "Let's just do this, okay?" "Look, if anything happens to Alex, you just..." "Zach, please, I cannot even think about that right now." "All right, boys, we got this." "Ian, what on earth have you done to yourself, mate?" "All right, let's get monitors on him." "Draw a stat trauma panel, two large-bore I.V.s, and a bolus of normal saline." "Someone get me some vitals." "Let's go." "Let's go!" "All right, Joel, what do you see?" "Bilateral calcaneus fractures, open femur." "Look at that ex-fix." "It's just torn through that tibia there." "Arterial bleed is pumping." "I need pressure dressing right now." "B.P. is 80/40." "Okay, that's too low." "We can't sedate him." " I don't want your help." " Sir, don't move." " You need to be calm, buddy." " Please, leave me alone!" " Calm down, okay?" " Just let me go, please." "Somebody get some soft restraints." " Get off me!" " B.P.'s 70/40." "Heart rate's 150." " He's dropping fast." " I can't find a peripheral I.V." " His veins are crushed." " Central line." "It's too slow." "I'm gonna do an interosseous." "Open that up." "We'll mainline tranexamic acid into his bones." "See if you can't get him to start clotting." "You said you would watch me." "How long has he been sitting like that?" "Since we left the O.R." "He looks worried." "Yeah." "I'm worried about him." "Tag team?" "Let's do it." "What is that?" "This is a-a fist bump." "It's... it's actually more hygienic than a handshake, and it's cooler." "Much cooler." "Hey, Charlie." "Charlie." "We're here as your friends." "We know you're worried about Alex." "Mm-hmm." "Do you want to talk?" "Do you want to get drunk?" "We can go for a walk, anything." "You look like you're in hell." "I am in hell." "You know, grief is actually built into us neurologically." "That helps me..." "Not at all." "Depression is actually a natural energy-saving mechanism." "You can, um, feel like you're not really able to do anything right now, but really, you're conserving your energy for when Alex needs you." "If that makes sense." "Charlie?" "We just have a flat tire." "That's all." "Just a little bump." "All right, we are gonna have to find a pay phone." "Call a taxi, call a tow truck." "I don't know if we're gonna have time for everything." "Maybe no piñata, kiddo." "Dawn, there's something wrong with Alex." " Charlie, she's out of the woods." " No, she's not." " We're about to close." " Don't." "You missed something." "She's dying." "Let's start walking this way." "I said you missed something." "Charlie, I understand that you are upset, that she was your fiancée or whatever." " I..." "I'm talking to you as a doctor." " No, you're not!" "You're talking to me as a frantic, worried person!" "Dawn, you missed something, okay?" "!" "I can't concentrate with you yelling at me like this!" "You're talking to me like I am not trying to save her life, which I am!" " It's not about you!" " Or you!" "We're being very thorough, Dr. Harris." "Charlie." "You step away and just let us work." "What if I'm right?" "Is this the crazy talking-to-yourself kind of thing?" "What?" "Is it?" "What if it is?" "Listen, I have the best record in this hospital." "You said so yourself." "Will you just... will you hear what I have to say?" "He's got a vertically unstable pelvis." "We need to put a C-clamp on him after I reduce the fracture." " Sounds good, except..." " Except what?" "The pressure dressing isn't working." "His blood is not clotting at all." "Whoa." "Okay, yeah." "We got to stop the blood flow to his leg." "Uh, have you got a pneumatic tourniquet?" " Not since 1993." " Okay, you know what?" "Put together that C-clamp for me, Zach." "Yeah." "Andrea, give me a hand with this." "Take that." "Nice." "Do you want to start with the fracture?" "No, let's stabilize the pelvis first." "He's bleeding from there." "Scalpel." "Wait a minute." "Hemostat." "C-clamp." "Let's go." " You got it?" " Yeah." "What are you doing?" "Why are you doing this?" "Why are you doing this?" "We got this, Ian." "I lost my son." "I lost my wife." " I know, but we're here now, okay?" " I killed someone." " No, you didn't kill anyone." " I keep falling asleep." " It's okay." "It's understandable." " And you keep waking me up." "Joel." "What are we doing?" "What are we doing?" "We're torturing the guy." "Can I have a word?" "Do you want to palliate?" "Do you honestly he can survive those injuries?" "No." "I don't." "Nobody survives an eight-story fall." " So what are we doing here?" " Everything." "That's what we do." "Okay, why?" "Why?" "Because we're doctors." "What do you mean, "why?"" "Best-case scenario for this guy... we get him into the O.R., he dies on the table, okay?" "Joel, what are you saying?" "I'm saying that we should do the right thing here." "Look at us... we're waiting around for a miracle that just isn't gonna happen." "A couple more things." "Then we can go home and have your party!" "Right?" "Okay." "Yeah." "Hi." "Need a hand with something?" "Yeah, I'm looking for, uh, streamers." " And balloons!" " Balloons." " They said aisle 4, but..." " Yeah, you're in the right place." "Here, let me get them down for you." "I can't tip you or anything." "No trouble." "You have a nice smile." "I'm married." "Uh, jumping to some conclusions there." "Sometimes people just do things out of the goodness of their heart, right?" "Not in my experience, no." "We can't carry our burdens alone." "You having a party?" "Yes, I'm throwing a birthday party for my..." "Pickle?" "Excuse me." "Honey?" "Pickle?" "Honey, okay, we can't, uh, play hide-and-seek today, okay?" "Pulmonary embolism." "She doesn't have one, but if she does, it'll show up on imaging, and we'll deal with it post-op." "Infection?" "She did get stabbed with dirty scissors." "Then we'll dose her with prophylactic pip tazo." "We have been through every possible complication." " Deep-vein thrombosis!" " What?" "!" "Just..." "Dawn, consider it." "No!" "Because it is asinine." "Am I doing this surgery on an airplane?" "Because unless I'm a mile in the sky," " DVT is virtually impossible." " Conduction-system injury." "She has good rhythm." "I think we covered our bases, Charlie." " I'm closing." " Dawn." "Don't." "It is madness to keep her on the table any longer." "Stop backseat-doctoring, or I will call security." " Dr. Bell." " What?" "I'm seeing S.T. elevations." " You sure?" " Yes." "Okay, don't you ever, ever run off on me again!" "Do you understand me?" "You scared the living daylights out of me." "I thought I'd lost you for good." "I feel like I'm forgetting something." "I forgot the piñata." "Wait!" "No, no, no, no, no, no!" "Come back!" "Wait!" "I forgot something!" "I forgot something." "Her heart's not contracting well." " Is that normal?" " This is trauma, Charlie." "Nothing is normal, and you know that." "Can I have a head lamp, please?" "Reycraft?" "Her heart's swelling up." "I don't like it." "Maggie?" "I agree." "It looks really full." "Okay, it's probably just stunned." "I'm gonna check the arteries." "I stitched her artery shut." "You what?" " I made a mistake." " How bad?" " It was really bloody in there." "It was..." " Don't!" "I stitched her main coronary artery shut." "She's having a heart attack." "Most of her heart is not getting enough blood, and so it's dying." "Okay." "Remove the stitches." "Try again." "Can't because the tissue is too friable." " That would destroy her heart." " Okay, I'm calling a perfusionist." " Once we get her on pump..." " We don't have time." "What... what, to... to fix it?" "To wait." "A perfusionist is gonna be, what, a half-hour?" "At least." "We're gonna do a coronary bypass." "On her beating heart?" "We can do it." "We have to." "I have your things for you." "Thank you." "No problem." "How are you..." "Feeling?" "How you doing?" "I'm cold." "I'll get you a blanket." "This on you." "Your circulation's probably slowing down." "What does that mean?" "Uh, you're not perfusing your organs." "English?" "Your organs aren't receiving the blood that they should." "How does that feel?" "Thank you." "It's okay." "Let me give you..." "A little atropine for that rasp." "Up that fentanyl, too." "What happened..." "To the doctor I hurt?" "She is out of surgery, actually." " She's okay?" " Yeah." "She is." " That's good." " Yeah." "She's fine." "I think she's gonna make a full recovery, actually." "She's really okay?" "Yeah." "She is." "Don't have to worry about her." "She's fine." "Did my ex-wife call?" "No, she did not, but..." "It's the middle of the night, so she probably will." " Sh..." "I should check his lines?" " No, I got this, Jackson." "Thank you." "Okay." "They're driving me crazy!" "Okay." "We'll shut these off." "What are you doing?" "I want you to have this." "No, I can't take that, Ian." "I don't have anyone." "I'm here." "I don't blame you." "I'm gonna see my son." "Do you believe that?" "Yes." "I really do believe that." "Everything I have..." "Is yours." "It's going slow, Dawn." "Tom, take your time." "Charlie, please leave." "I'm not going anywhere." "You are making him nervous." "Hell, you're making me nervous." "Well, now you know how everyone feels around you." "Besides, with my crazy talking-to-myself thing," "I'm the only person that's gonna know if she's better." "She has nice veins." "She has nice legs." "She might want to talk to Dana about that scar you just gave her." "Eh, I don't think she's gonna complain when her heart's fixed." " Guys." " We're just keeping it loose, Charlie." "You've been there." "I'm not there now, Dawn." "Seven inches of primo blood vessel." "Let me know if you need help up there." "I'm good." "Maggie." "Press here." "Nice and easy, okay?" "I'm seeing PVCs." "You're irritating the heart." "Knife." "You are killing my patient!" "Knife!" "Dr. Bell." "I'm fine." "Okay." "I'm not gonna be gone long." "You stay here and watch TV with your little brother, all right?" "Okay." "Now, daddy is downstairs." "Don't disturb him." " Okay." " Okay." "All right, I won't be gone long." "I trust you, Dawn." "More suction?" "Yeah." "Potts scissors." "Mm-hmm." "Thank you." "B.P.'s dropping." "Can't do anything about that right now." "7-0 prolene." "Reycraft, got the vein?" "Yep." "Hold tight, everyone." "Kids?" "Look what mommy's got!" "Kids?" "Hey." "Damn it." "Where's your sister?" "She didn't go downstairs, did she?" "Alex?" "Alex, honey, don't go down there." "Alex!" "Alex!" "Hey, girlie." "Luke." "I'm really confused, Luke." "I know." "It's okay." "What are we doing here?" "I don't know." "Um, it looks like home, so I guess we are..." "Home." "But you're..." "Dead." "Yeah, that's..." "that's... that's true." "What was it like when you died?" "Honesty, I don't..." "I don't, uh, really remember." "I came to see you, though." " You didn't see me." " No." "And then..." "And then?" "I just knew I'd tried, if that makes sense." "I really tried." "And now I could stop, and that..." "Would be enough." "Is it enough?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's enough." "For the first time in my life, it is." " But you're..." " Dead." "Yeah, I know." "It's ironic." "But change is just change, you know." "The stars, our bodies, life, death... we die." "The heat goes off our body, goes up to the stars, comes back down as sunlight, grows a plant." "Nothing's ever lost." "It was here." "I heard something, and I came downstairs." "Mom told me not to, but I..." "Did it anyway." "And I saw him." "And I shut the door, went back upstairs and watched TV..." "Because I wanted to have my party." " Alex." " Well, maybe I could have helped him." "Hey." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's not so bad here." "Come on." "The old homestead." "We'll, uh..." "We'll make it a party pad." "We can have some good times here." "You are so crazy." "No, come on." "You'll start a G.P. practice." "Okay, you can go out and get my patients and bring them back." "Yeah, and you'll sew them up, and we'll BBQ on the weekends." "Your kids will be friends with my kids." "Sure." "You're gonna make it." "Hey, do you hear something?" "No." " Why?" " You just need to hold on, Alex." "Charlie?" "You have to go." "No, no, I don't want to leave without you." " You have to." " No!" "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's great seeing you again, Alex." "Go." "Go." "Reycraft, what do you think?" "Heart's contracting nicely." "Maggie?" "It's beautiful." "Do you mind?" "No, not at all." "Dry sponge and forceps." "Did you... want to say a prayer?" "No." "Good. 'Cause I don't remember any." "A patient gave that to me." "Don't know why I'm hanging on to it." "St. Jude." "Patron Saint of Lost Souls, also lost causes and impossible situations." "Oh." "Thanks." "Just go in there and talk to her." "She'll know you're here." "I can't." "Hey, um..." "I'm sorry about, uh, taking a swing at you earlier." "Oh." "Didn't even realize that you took a swing at me." "I get it." "Uh, listen, Joel," "I know that you probably don't want to hear this right now." " What?" " Um..." "I probably don't want to hear what?" "You're gonna need to deal with whatever it is that you're feeling." "'Cause if you don't, it's gonna come back to bite you." "Okay, I'll be sure to share my feelings at my next book-club meeting." " It's better out than in." " I'll take it under advisement." "That is one intense dude." "Yeah, he's the "X" Games of people." "One of those better be for me." "Thank you." " How many sugars do you take?" " Three." "That's disgusting." "What are you, like, a teen hooker?" "Thanks." "Okay, everyone." "Thank you all for coming." "I know that I paged you all, so you didn't really have a choice, but still." "As many of you know, Alex was stabbed today in the call room, which should be the safest place in the hospital." "It's natural that we would want to blame someone, but the man who stabbed Dr. Reid is dead." "But she is alive." "And we are very thankful for that, so we need to go forward with open hearts, with good faith." "We are healers." "It's what we do." "So let's do that." "Let's get back to work." "Oh, and go to counseling." "There'll be a sign-up sheet in here, but you can come by my office any time." "Do it." "Okay?" "I know how surgeons feel about shrinks, but this is big, so..." "Will you be attending counseling, Dr. Bell?" "Absolutely." "R-really?" "Generally, you have a disdain for psychiatry." "Probably at first, I'll spend a couple hours with Dr. Chardonnay, and then I'll cuddle with the light of my life, my Guinea pig, but..." "So, then you'll sign up for counseling." "Go back to work." "I'm thinking of growing a beard." "I read in the paper that we've reached peak beard, but I'm not so sure." "Go ahead." "Ask me what "peak beard" is." "Oh, your curiosity has made you mute." "All right, I'll tell you." "Peak beard is the point where so many men have beards that we wish no one did." "Yeah, that's where we are." "Did you know that I'm half-Armenian?" "No, I did not." "I am." "Half Miller, half Kassabian." "I'm ready to let the Kassabian out." "It's not your fault, Joel." "You know, when I met Alex, she was a med student, and I was a resident." "And she used to have this ridiculous bicycle." "And she'd ride it to and from the hospital." "Think it was her brother's old 10-speed bike, actually." "I remember I..." "I paid this kid... student..." "to, um... to hide the bike." "He essentially stole the thing." "And, um, just so that I could offer her a ride home." "Smooth." "So you liked her." "Yeah, I liked her." "Oddly enough, very same bike was stolen just a few days later, so..." "I've never really been good for her, I guess." "Come on over." "How'd it go?" "Well, I stuck my finger in my friend's heart, and she didn't die, so good." "Good." "You here for counseling?" "My dance card's pretty empty." "Got one customer." "Read it." "Dr. Hugh Jass." "You know, Alex would have died today if Charlie hadn't busted in." "Dawn made a huge mistake, and he saved her life." "Wow." "You don't think Dawn would have caught it anyway?" "No." "He was... so passionate." "It seemed crazy." "You should have seen him beating the crap out of Goran." "That seemed nuts." "Did it?" "Are you okay?" "Is something wrong?" "You're not crazy." "No." "You wouldn't fight in the hallway or bust into an O.R., ranting like a madman." " Is this about the miscarriage?" " No." "We don't have that kind of love." "I want that kind of love." "You have it." "I'll fight a guy if you want me to." "I'll go fight a guy." "You want me to go fight a guy?" "It's not what I want." "I'll interrupt every operation in this hospital." " I'll take off my clothes." " I don't want..." "I..." "I..." "I'll scream your name, Maggie." "What do you want?" "Try me." "You don't..." "What, you don't believe me?" "I love you." "I know." "But..." "But what?" "I don't feel it." "I just..." "I don't feel it." "Want to go get a drink?" "No." "That's too bad." "'Cause I would just talk and talk and talk and..." "Not sleep with you." "That would be the perfect end to this nightmare of a day." "I think I just broke up with Gavin." "I'm sorry." "He's a good guy." "Yeah." "You're all good guys." "Strange seeing without being seen." "And you've done this every day since you were..." "In a coma, yeah." "And now?" "Well, now..." "I can see you." "And I'm glad." "I'm in a coma, Charlie." "I know." "It's kind of funny, if you think about it." "We have the worst luck." "Maybe I've always been close to death." "I saw my father die." "That doesn't mean you're close to death." "And you're gonna wake up." "I wish that I could touch you." "Can you feel that?" "Maybe." "I don't want to go away again, Charlie." "Then don't." "You stay with me." "Promise." "I promise." "I love you." "I can feel that." "Yeah."