"When the market opens in under an hour, we'll buy the stock and hold it for 48 hours." " You're completely certain the report is genuine?" " It came from the Minister himself." "And when that report goes public, the stock will go through the roof." "And we'll all become very rich." "Which is after all, why we're here." "I'm in." "Me too." "Gabriel?" "Simon, have the courier pick up these cases." "Take them directly to the brokers." " Gentlemen, I'm sure it's not too early for a bottle of champagne to celebrate, is it?" " Never." "Susan, would you do the honours?" "Actually, not for me." "Not allowed to drink on duty, you see." "Duty?" "Detective Inspector Alan Richards." "Oh, and you're nicked." "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" "Sean?" " Yeah?" " Are you all right?" "Yeah." "OK, keep it down." "On your feet." "Thank you, gentlemen." "We'll take it from here." "Recorded evidence, photographs, forged government paperwork, a statement from a serving police officer, false identities." "Not looking good, is it?" "Shouldn't that be switched on?" "What is it now?" "2010?" "You should be out in...2025?" "Of course, you might not all be so lucky." "Fifteen years is a long time." "Albert Stroller is an old man, and such a free spirit." " Shame if he were to die in prison." " He had nothing to do with this." "Oops." "All right, it's me you want." " Yes, it is." " Then let the others go free and I will sign a statement saying anything you want." "I'm afraid it's not quite as simple as that." " Then I have nothing else to say to you." " Sit down." " You can't do this." " I think you'll find we can do anything we want." "It really doesn't have to be like this." "Who are you?" "Hello, Michael." " Are you a grifter?" " I'm a detective chief inspector." " Let's call it one-nil." " Yes, let's." "I'm sorry I can't be with you." "Your face must be a picture." "I take it you've met Jenny by now." "She's a very old and very dear friend." "She came to visit me last month and we shared a bottle of wine." "Your ears must have been on fire." "Anyhow, she told me she had a little problem and I said you'd be perfect." "So, have fun." "Oh." "I think this makes it one all." "What kind of problem?" "This is the National Bank of Syria in the City." "In its basement it has two vaults, one of which has 300 safety deposit boxes." "Within one of these security boxes there is something we'd very much like to get our hands on." "In the second vault, we believe there is something in the region of £40 million." "You bring us the contents of that one safety deposit box, you get to keep anything else you can carry from the other vault." "All right, who are you?" "Special Branch?" "Oh, nothing so vulgar." "The point is, Mr Stone, you either help us solve our problem or you and your friends go to prison." " And you can't do this yourselves, because..." " Relations between London and Damascus are a little tense." "Should anything go wrong, any link to the government would be disastrous." "However, we can't be held accountable for the actions of a criminal gang working independently." "We'll let you out on bail, then drop the charges once the job's done." "So, what's it to be?" "'They rough you up a bit?" "'" " I've had worse." " Did they say who they were?" "Not exactly, but they're pretty high up the food chain." " The way I see it, we've had a right result." " What?" "Well, ten minutes ago I was locked up, bang to rights," " worrying about sharing a shower with a Russian drug baron from B block." "Now we're free." " We're hardly free." "All right, so we've got to rob one little bank." "How hard can it be?" "What?" "Oh, Lucy, I wish you could have been there to see it." "...Yes, I know." "But don't worry, I've got him tied up in knots." "I need time." "I need time to think, to, er..." "But in the meanwhile, let's go through the motions." "Ash, bank." "Find out everything you can about the place." "Security, alarm systems, personnel, everything." "Albert, use every contact you've got and find out who they work for." " Let's see what we're up against." " You got it." " Emma, work from Ash's list of personnel." "Find me a weakness, a way in, something we can use." " OK." "Ash, is Anxious still about?" "Yeah, he's got a basement flat in Camden." "Sean, go and see him." "Ash will give you the address." "Tell him what we're doing and he'll kit you out with an identity to get you into the bank." "Make an appointment there to open up an account tomorrow." "Everyone set?" "Then let's try and stay out of jail." " Who is it?" " Are you Anxious?" " Depends who it is." " It's Sean." "Mickey Bricks and Ash Morgan sent me." " Wait." "You can't be too careful, eh?" "Why?" "What have you heard?" "Nothing." "I was just saying." "Why?" "No reason." " How are you?" " I'm fine." " Nice to see you, please sit down." "You're looking very well." "Can I get you a drink, sir?" "Well, let's see." "It's five o' clock in Mumbai." "I'll have a scotch on the rocks." "You said Three Socks sent you?" " That's right." " And you're sure it was him?" "Pretty sure, yeah." " Pretty sure?" " It was definitely him, mate." " So, what can I do for you?" " I need an identity." " What for?" " Bank job." " What bank?" " The National Bank of Syria." " Very exotic." "Right, sit in that chair." "We'd better do you something Middle Eastern." "You might have to tan up a bit." " Do I need to count it?" " It's all there." "I'll count it anyway." "How's it going?" "Just one click away from meeting my new best friend." "Hello, Mickey." "I'm surprised you've got time for a social call." "Shouldn't you be marshalling your troops?" "Buying balaclavas?" "It's all in hand." "So, to what do I owe the pleasure?" "Take a walk?" "Before I do this, I need to know that you'll be true to your word." "That you'll drop the charges against us." "I want to know if you're playing this straight." "You want to discuss the rules." "How civilised." "These are people I care about." "I need to know that if I ask them to do this, it's for a good reason." "What do you want from me?" "I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that if I do this, it's over." " Why should I?" " Because then I'll get you what you want" " and if it's a fair game, that's how I'll play it." " Is that a threat?" "No, it's a statement of fact." "All right, you have my word." "If you do what we've asked, that'll be an end to it." "And my friends, they'll be free to go?" "Yes." "Satisfied?" "Yes, I am." "I'm sure you've got a lot of work to do." "Good luck." " You really don't trust this bird." " She's too smart to let us get away with something like this." " So what will she do?" " Best guess?" " Yeah." "He won't want to come out in the open, so he'll do a steal." "She mentioned balaclavas." "It was a joke, but it means she knows we're going for a steal rather than a con." "Then after we have what we need, we'll re-arrest them." "For the bogus stocks con?" "For stealing the £40 million in the second vault." "That'll double their sentences." "OK." "The National Bank of Syria." "It's got basement with a vault for safety deposit boxes." " A great place for ex-Syrian nationals to hide their ill-gotten gains." " Security?" "It's where I'm going if I win the lottery." "Thermal imaging CCTV with face recognition." "Pressure pads set at 20 grams." "A laser network that can detect a fly crossing the room." "The walls are reinforced with titanium and there's a wireless network that shuts down steel grilles on every room in the bank when compromised." " So if you get in, the chances of getting out again are slim." " Any good news?" "Yes." "It's protected overnight by a private Syrian security firm with tasers, dogs and a bad attitude." "They had an attempted robbery four years ago." " When the police got there, the security had beaten them half to death." " And that's good news how?" "Well, if we get caught, there might not be enough left of us to lock up." "The bank has an underground car park." "Now, that's our best route in." "We access the service shaft from street level." "Pop out the hatch at the other end." "Cameras everywhere, but I think I can get us through the service entrance." "What about the second vault?" "The one with the cash." "Well, it's right next to the security boxes." "Once we're there, the second vault's simple enough." "One central code lock - six digits." "Just like the lottery." "Six digits and you hit the jackpot." "We're going to be millionaires." "Back to the first vault." "The security boxes themselves." "What are the locks like?" "Bearing in mind there's little or no chance of getting near them in the first place, the locks are pretty standard." " Do we even know what's in the box we're supposed to steal?" " No." "There is one weak spot." "Most security systems have an over-ride on the time lock in case of emergency." "You can't wait until 8:00 am if there's an earthquake." " How does that help us?" " One of the triggers is a power surge, designed to cope with electrical storms." "If we could create a surge at the grid it would cut out the alarm circuit for seven minutes, the time it takes the computer to check the system." " Can we do both vaults in seven minutes?" " Leave that to me." "And this surge will shut down everything?" "Everything but the pressure pads, which run off a smaller system." "And a three-foot-thick steel door and a four combination locks." " Apart from that, it's a piece of piss." " Seven minutes is not a long time." " It's all we've got." "OK." "Sean?" "I'm Hafez Al-Khani." "My dad moved here during the military coup in 1961, where he met my mum." "He made his fortune in the manufacturing industry and I was educated at Cambridge." "Currently a bit of a playboy with a healthy allowance from Daddy." " I've got an appointment at 3.30 tomorrow." " Very good." "Emma?" "I've got a new friend called Ashur Olmert, who also happens to be a safety deposit clerk at the bank." "And he's invited all his online friends to his birthday party tonight." "You won't have much time with him." " He's 19, never had a girlfriend, as far as I can make tell." " Blimey." "Must have trouble walking." " Yeah, thanks, Ash." "I'm hoping it'll be love at first sight." " Ahem!" "Cradle snatcher." " He looks really sweet." " What are you going to do if he doesn't go for older women?" "There's no danger of that." "If he's never had a girlfriend, any port in a storm and all that." " Sorry, no offence, Emms." " Can we just stop this conversation, please?" " OK, OK." "Albert." " Well, I'm afraid the worst news is yet to come." " Oh?" "Jennifer Hughes is ex-military." " She works with Nigel Chambers, ex-Army." " So who do they work for?" "They were both recruited by military intelligence three years ago." " Oh, bollocks." " They're MI6." " What does it matter who they work for?" "It doesn't change anything." "They've got free rein to do what they like." "The Old Bill have to play by the rules." "These guys don't." "It's your call, Mick." "Well, considering who these people are, there's no way we can back out now." "Well, if that's how it is." "Let's go rob a bank." "Well, how do I look?" " A bit muttony." " Muttony?" "!" " Take no notice." "You look great." " I couldn't agree more." " Make sure you help him with his homework." " Oh, whatever, Tango boy." "Don't wait up." "That's it, I'm done." "Good." "Make yourself useful and put the kettle on." "What you making, anyway?" "Well, I'm making an electromagnetic thingamajig with a remote control whatsit." "Right." "Good luck with that." " Is Mickey all right out there?" " He's just fine." " He's been out there ages." "What's he doing?" " Trying to keep us out of prison." " In that case, he can stay out there as long as he likes." "I'm so sorry." "No, it was my fault." "My heel gave way." "Oh, no." "Oh, no." "Oh, yuck." "Er, would you like another drink?" "That would be really kind, thank you." " Coffee?" " Thanks." " Ash, could you do something for me?" " Yeah... name it." "Well, I've been thinking about our friends at MI6." " What would you say is the most important thing to them?" " Apart from stitching people up?" "Secrecy." "What you thinking?" "I thinking that maybe that's where we find our edge." " I used to work in a bank." " Really?" "Mmm-hmm." "Until the manager started coming on to me." " Oh." " He was so old." "Mind you, his son was quite fit." "But he was only 19." "A bit young for you, right?" "God no, it's just that it would have been hard to go home to meet the family, when I'd just slapped his father, wouldn't it?" "I suppose so." "So, what do you do at your bank?" " We ready?" " I've got a few things to pick up in the morning, but yeah." "We're good to go." " I'm exhausted." " How was it?" " Well, it started out OK, and then descended into who could drink the most lager and pull their trousers down the quickest." "Sounds like a good night out." " Yeah, for you, maybe." " So how was Ashur?" " Oh, he was lovely." " Did you make a man of him?" " No, I did not." "He was a perfect gentleman." " More importantly, did you get what we need?" " Yes." "Luckily, he's very proud of his work." "The boxes have high tensile secure barrel locks." "Two members of security accompany every box opening" " and a third watches on CCTV." " What about the numbers?" "Sequential." "Box one is top left hand corner, left side of the room, then runs left to right and down." "And you got all that without putting out?" " They're taught the sequence, so they look more professional when they take a client in." " OK." " So we just need to get Sean to do his bit tomorrow and we're set." " Not quite." "Emms!" "Sit." " How can I help you?" " I have an appointment to take out a box." " Mr Al-Khani, right?" " Yes." "Do you have any identification?" "Of course." "Your family are from Aleppo?" "Yes." "I have an uncle there." " Really?" " Yes, yes, he works at the post office on Kouatly Street." "Do you know it?" "Kouatly Street." "Just off Baron Street?" "It is a small world." "Yes, it is." "So, what size box do you need?" "Our smallest is three inches by five and our largest is ten by 25." "I'll take the largest." "I'm a superstitious man." " Oh..." " I have my lucky numbers." "Two and five." "Very good, very good." "Let's see." "We have 252, or 225, 552." "225 would be perfect." "Then it is yours." "Please, come this way." "Don't worry, you'll get there." "OK." " It's in." " Oh, well done, Sean, well done." "See you in a minute." " It's in." " Good boy." " How was that?" " Three minutes." " That's all right, yeah?" "No, 90 seconds is all right." "Three minutes gets us locked up." "And again." " I think you're doing fine." " Mmm." "What about you?" "Racking my brains, trying to make sure I haven't missed anything." " I'm sure you haven't." " I hope so." "The stakes are pretty high." "Oh, I don't know about that." "Prison's what it used to be, you know." "Now you get your own cell, colour TV, computer games." "Gym." "It's Albert I worry about." "Oh, he'd cope." "You know Albert." "He'd be running the place inside a month." "True." "But 15 years." "Everything I know..." "everything I am is because of him." "If this thing doesn't work out well, it won't be your fault." "Won't it?" "Do you know..." "If we get through this somehow," "I think I need to take a break." "Yeah, south of France or something." "Monaco?" "That's a good a place as any." "I've always wanted to play the casino at Monte Carlo." "I hear the Chateau Vert has lovely views of the harbour." "The Chateau Vert?" "It sounds lovely." "Might see you there, then?" "Hello?" "You never call, you don't write." " I've been busy." " I'm glad to hear it." " Lucy sends her regards." " What can I do you for?" "I thought you might like to talk me through your plans." "And why would I want to do that?" "Because I'm asking you to." "My hotel, six o'clock." "Don't be late." "You still need to knock off another 30 seconds." "How good am I?" " Everything OK, then?" " Yeah." "Box 225." "Tour book came in handy an' all." "Always good to have an edge." " Yeah, well, that goes without saying." "You get that call, Mick?" " Right on cue." "The mic's in the base." "OK, good." " You did good, Sean." " I was awesome." " Modest, too." " I'll go and see if I can get us some insurance." "Ash, you should run through the bank plans again." "Oh, good!" "Cos it's only been, what, an hour since the last time." "Practice makes perfect." "Right, gather round." "Yes, sir, everything is in hand." "I'm just awaiting confirmation, the police have been briefed and everything's in place." "Of course." "I completely understand that." "I'll call when I can be more specific regarding timings." "Goodnight, sir." "Mickey, you shouldn't have." "Consider them a peace offering." "Lucy told me you might be tricky." "Were you trying to incriminate me?" "The last roll of the dice?" "Something like that." "I'll call you when we're done." "So, are you all set?" "We go tonight." "Excellent." "You must really be enjoying this." "I have to admit, I am rather." "Glasses are on the table." "So, you've found a way in?" " We think so." " I need you to call me the moment you're out." "I want the contents of the box as soon as possible." "OK." "Aren't you joining me?" "Clear head." "Any idea how long it will take?" "The box should be simple enough, but moving the cash may take some time." "You'll be a very rich man after this." " Maybe you should consider retiring." " And do what?" " I don't know." "Have fun." "Do you do fun?" " Only in the right company." " Oh, dear." "You really dislike me, do you?" "So, MI6 set me up to rob a bank on their behalf and I'm supposed to like it?" "Whatever it takes to get the job done." "You live by that as much as I do." "Maybe." " So, climb down off your high horse and at least admit a sneaking admiration." " All right." " Let's just say I appreciate the thoroughness." " It's a start." "It's a shame we're on different sides." "We'd make quite a good team." " Oh, I doubt that." " Why?" "Because, I tend to do my dirty work myself, rather than manipulating others to do it for me." "Ouch." "Does it bother you very much..." "being beaten by a woman?" "I imagine it does." "That very much depends on the woman." "Lucy was right about you being a charmer." "You know she wanted to screw you?" "We don't always get what we want." "True." "Although she'd be mad as hell if I did what she couldn't." "And you could tell her all about it over another bottle of wine." "Exactly." " Good night, sir." " Good night." "We'd just about given up on you." "Sorry." "Did she give you a hard time?" "It's in her nature." " Are we set?" " As we'll ever be." "OK, give me five minutes." "They've just left." "Good." "They're dropping the goods here when they're done." " And afterwards?" " The police will pick them up at their penthouse suite." " Great." "What now?" "Now?" "We wait." "That's the service entrance." "They have three cameras." "Here, here and here." "Ready, go." "Good evening." "My car has broken down." "I was wondering if it was possible you could help me?" " Yeah, come in." " Thank you." "Three, two, one." "Next one." "I just love your country." "It's so beautiful." "I wish I had a more reliable vehicle." "I always wanted to visit the Cots-welds." "WOLDS." "It's Cotswolds." " Wolds!" "Ah." " Did the AA say how long they were going to be?" "Within 30 minutes, they said." "I don't suppose you have a biscuit?" "Chocolate digestive?" "Perfect." "This is it." "Monitors are playing up." "Better log it." "Come on!" "Come on come on come on!" " Are you all right?" " Excuse me." "Now what?" "We wait." "Power surge." "The computer's re-booting." "Monitor pressure pad systems." "We're on." "Seven minutes, starting now." "Bingo!" "Right, pressure pads start three feet in." "Here." "Come on, baby." " Yeah?" " OK." "All right." "Ready?" " Go, go." " OK." "She's not going to make it." "Back!" "Back!" "They should have called by now." "Relax." "OK, we are back online." "Good day at the office?" "So far, so good." "Here, cop a load of this." " Diamonds?" " Looks like MI6 are a bunch of tea leaves." " Now, why doesn't that surprise me?" "At least it means we've see the last of that dreadful woman." "Not quite yet." "Let's hope we haven't bitten off more than we can chew." "Hello?" "Excellent." "S ee you in a few minutes, then." "They've done it?" "It would appear so." "Bloody brilliant!" "It's Nigel Chambers." "Operation Ghost can commence when ready." " OK, you guys should head back." "I'll deal with this." " Why can't we come?" "It's best if we're not all in the same place." " If it goes according to plan, I should be there in half an hour." " And if it doesn't?" "I called Anxious and had false passports made." "There's also some cash and your flight details." " Get out while you can." " What about you?" " I'll take my chances." " You can't go up there by yourself." " He isn't." " Ash." "You can argue all you like." "I'm coming with you." "Take care of Albert." "You were expecting us." "Well done, Mickey." "And so quick!" " I'm impressed." " Ash?" "Wait." "Nigel?" "They're clean." "I know things are a little tight at the moment, but stealing diamonds?" "They belong to a known terrorist." "He told us about them during questioning." "So, her Majesty's government thought it best we acquired them to help fund the war on terror." "Rather poignant, don't you think?" "Oh, please, spare me the disapproving looks." "I assume you did quite well for yourselves in the process?" "We came out of it pretty well." " Yeah." "Mustn't grumble." " Good." "Then you must use it to take a holiday." "Gentlemen." "We've got company." "Let's not make this any more difficult than it is." "Resisting arrest would be futile." "Hello?" "I see." "No, there must have been a breakdown in communication somewhere." "Let me get back to you." "I take it that was the police?" "Let me guess." "They got all the way to the bank, only to find..." "No sign of a robbery." " But..." " We sort of tidied up as we went along." "But the money." " I knew I'd forgotten something!" " Ash!" "Sorry." "Forty million quid." "Porsche, a motor yacht, me own jet." "A Caribbean beach apartment." " Gold diggers." " Diamonds." "I don't know if you've noticed, but the money's still behind the bleedin' door." "Which is exactly where it's staying." "Come on, we have to get out of here." "All untouched." "Security system, untouched." "No sign that anyone was even there." "We even locked the door behind us." "I had this funny feeling I might get a visit from the police." "Even you can't get us arrested for a robbery that never happened." "Wait outside." "It seems I've underestimated you." "I thought the draw of all that money would be too much." "We are not thieves." " Surely you're forgetting something?" " Oh?" " You haven't forgotten anything, Mick?" " I don't think so." "We still have all the evidence from your last escapade, your bogus stocks." "I knew she was gonna say that." "That's the thing with people in authority, they are so predictable." "Especially birds." "I think it's penis envy." " That's a very interesting theory." " Very droll." " Thank you." " Nigel, call the police station." "We have some people here who have violated the terms of their bail." " She's at it again." " Predictability is a definite character flaw." " You're going to prison." "Not for as long as I'd hoped, perhaps, but you're going." "I very much doubt that." " Do you know who we are?" " Why?" "Have you forgotten?" "DCI Rawlings, please." "...Nigel Chambers." "Er, sorry, excuse me." "There's something you might want to see before he does that." "What is it?" " The case for the defence." " I really do think you should take a look at it." "Can you hold?" " I'll call you back." " Attagirl." "Aren't you joining me?" "Clear head." " It gets better." " I checked him!" "The microphone was a decoy, you idiot." "He knew you'd find it." "Were you trying to incriminate me?" "The last roll of the dice?" "Something like that." "You really don't trust this bird." "They're trying to distance themselves from this." "She'll have us arrested as soon as we give them what we want." "We get banged up whether we do this or not." "Why do it?" "I've been thinking about our friends at MI6." " What would you say is the most important thing to them?" " What, apart from stitching people up?" "Secrecy." "So, you've found a way in?" "We think so." "I need you to call me the moment you're out." "I want the contents of the box as soon as possible." "Aren't you joining me?" "Clear head." "Any idea how long it will take?" "The box should be simple enough, but moving the cash may take some time." "You'll be a very rich man after this." "Maybe you should consider retiring." "The judge will like that bit." " Not to mention the press. 'And do what?" " I don't know, have fun.'" "Do you do fun?" "If I didn't know better, I'd say she was flirting with you." " 'Only in the right company." " Oh, dear." "'You really dislike me, don't you?" "'" "Ah, now, this is my favourite bit." "'So, MI6 set me up to rob a bank on their behalf and I'm supposed to like it?" " 'Whatever it takes to do the job." "You live by that as much as I do.'" " Back of the net!" "Lucy was right about you being a charmer." " 'You know she wanted to screw you?" "' Turn it off!" " Hang on, hang on." " You'll miss the best bit!" " 'We don't always get what we want.'" "'True." "'Although she'd be mad as hell if I did what she couldn't." " 'And you could tell her all about it over another bottle of wine." " Exactly.'" " You stupid bitch!" " Oh, here we go!" "Can we send out for a pizza?" "You're a naughty, naughty boy!" "Ah!" "I was enjoying that." "They don't look very happy." " No." "D'you think we upset them?" " Maybe we should just..." " Yeah, yeah." "Good idea." "I'm assuming you'll be dropping the charges." "Yeah?" "Thought you might." "Wait!" "If you already had this, why go ahead with the robbery?" "Oh, that part's easy." "You see, there were six bags, not five." "Call it a payment for services rendered." "Oh, and just in case you're wondering, you know, if that's the only copy." "It ain't." "In fact... there's hundreds of 'em." "They're everywhere." "Do give my regards to Her Majesty." " You didn't give me the whole tape, did you?" " No." " So?" " So what?" "Did you give her the benefit?" " I've no idea what you're talking about." " You did, didn't you?" " Ash, I think it's better if we..." " Didn't mention you giving the MI6 bird the Mickey Bricks experience?" "Because nothing happened." "I just don't think there's any point talking about it." " Pub rules?" " Exactly." " Fair enough." " Yes!" " We thought..." "It's OK, Mickey played a blinder." " Yeah?" " Yeah, in fact I'd say he gave her a piece of his mind." " So, we're home free?" " Yes, we are." " Well done." "Yeah, nice one, Mick." "So." "You'll be going to Monaco then?" "I guess." "You?" "Well, I hear the Chateau Vert has amazing views of the harbour, so..." "What d'you reckon, Mick?" " About what?" " Albert reckons we should take a break, hit Vegas." "I thought it might be smart for us" " to keep our heads down for a while." " Not that Albert needs an excuse, mind..." "What d'you think?" "Well..." " It's a great idea." " Yes!" " Sorry." " Never mind." "Maybe this will help soften the blow." "I could murder a drink." "Might just catch Eddie before he turns in." " I cannot believe you did that." " I could always give them back." " Don't even joke about it." "She's definitely going drop the charges for the bogus stocks thing?" " Oh, yes." " But why?" "I was sure she'd double cross us." "Who knows the way a woman's mind works?" "Oi, landlord, you've got customers." "Ah." "Eddie's bar." "Now I know it's all over." "Everything's back to normal." "Oh, look, it's Rip Van Winkle." " It's the middle of the bleeding night!" " I've had better welcomes." "Glass of bubbly, please." " The 24-hour licencing laws aren't just for you lot." " Glasses?" " All you care about is yourselves." " Stop your moaning and get your arse round here." "We've got a job for you." "You treat this place like a flamin' hotel." " And I'm the mug for putting up with it." " Do me a favour Ed, hold that." "What for?" "Press the red button." " Hello!" " Hi." "DCI Lucy Britford." "Thank you so much for your message, by the way." "We thought it would be rude if we didn't reciprocate." " And if you've got any more mates that wanna come and play..." " Just say the word." "It's been an absolute pleasure." "Oh, and I'm sorry, very sorry, but it looks like it's two-nil after all." "# Two-nil, two-nil, two-nil, two-nil... #" "I'd like to propose a toast." "To Lucy Bitchface." "Lucy Bitchface!" "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" "Bye!" "Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd"