"CIRCUS" "Production, Planning and Direction" "I am not about to tell a story." "Simple lives have no story." "They are made of light and shadow, with no great yearnings or hopes." "Such is the life of circus people, simple people, Wanderers in illusion, homeless, rootless people, free, yet with their feet stuck in mud." "This is my people, where I belong." "I recall clearly the first time I saw the Maravilhas Circus." "I had just crossed the border and within me all was loneliness." "My mind was vacant when I walked up to the ticket booth and asked them to let me in." "Stalls or seats?" "My name is António Carreira, Toni." "I'd like to see the show." "I'm in circus, too." "May I?" "A fellow artist?" "Of course, go in." "We can sit here." "A circus..." "Canvas and tarpaulin, the clown." "Every circus is the same, even the poor and small like this one..." "I was home again, among my people, after many a hard knock in the world." "Those are my children." "Pretty good gymnasts, aren't they?" "I wish you could see Delmirinha's number on horseback... a show stopper!" "But we had to sell the horse..." "Do you need a trapeze artist, by any chance?" "Actually we do, but drop by tomorrow." "My wife handles business matters." "This is the fellow I told you about." " Good morning." " 'Morning." "Meet my wife." "Who cares if I'm your wife or your daughter, what matters is your name in the business." " I'm Dolly." "And you..." " Toni." " So you're a trapeze artist?" " Yes." "Your face is not familiar." "I only got back yesterday." " You mean, from abroad?" " Yes." "I had a feeling you were not from here." "Oh, I am, but I took off long ago." "Where have you been working?" "All over Spain, with the circus of that Austrian woman." "Oh, I know her." "What's up with her?" "She was killed." "They killed her and set fire to the circus." "She was killed?" "Yes, in the Civil War in Spain." "There was an air raid, and the circus burnt down." "She could have escaped, but she tried to save the horses." "She was burnt to cinders." "But that was years ago." "What have you done since then?" "So many questions..." "We are not the police." "People's lives are none of our business." " I was in Austria, in Germany, and..." " And what'?" "I don't have to tell you all my life." "I came here to ask for work..." "If you want to give me work, fine." "Our schedule is fully organised already, but since we have no one doing the trapeze, maybe you can stay." "I had my debut that same night." "I had not worked for so long!" "But happy or unhappy," "I could never be anything other than what I am:" "a mountebank." "Circus runs in my veins, it's in my blood." "Why then that pain always inside me?" "Nothing woud ever be the same, yet the houses were so empty!" "It's sad to work like that;" "yet, the work let me forget, and I had so much to forget... so much!" "The public is enjoying it, Antonio." "Delmirinha... there was something strange about her, which, at the time, I could not fathom." "If only she'd want to work with me..." "You forgot to shave again did you?" "And you mean to go on with your jacket in such a state?" "Let me be;" "I didn't have the time." "But you had time to booze it up." "Boozing, me?" "Why do you keep on harping that I drink?" " How's about a litre of wine?" " Get lost!" "You give the circus a worse image than it has already..." "Look at him: all filthy and ragged!" "What's your problem?" "At least the suit is mine;" "I didn't steal it." "But it's filthy." "Why don't you get a haircut and a shave?" "I can do without luxuries!" "This whole place is a mess..." "Even I have become unkempt." "What will you think of us?" "I had a nice home once." "It was no rich, but it was nice and tidy." "It was a pleasure to live in." "At the time, even the circus was a major circus." "But what does it all matter?" "Nowadays, I don't care if it's doing better or worse." "Is it dirty'?" "Well, it's their fault." " So'?" " I don't know how we'll manage." "The box office is getting worse." "Today's takings aren't enough to pay everybody's wages." "So, the circus is doing badly?" "Yes." "If you wanted, vve could do a double act on the trapeze." "Would you like to?" "Don't tell me you're afraid?" "No Toni, I'm not afraid." "Well then?" "Don't ask me any more questions, I beg you." " Good night." " A peaceful night." "Who would say that my debut night would be the last night of that poor circus?" "The night threatened to be stormy." "But the storm had already started inside." "I was not the only one who suffered." "That man Toni, there must be something odd in his life." "He never speaks, never says a thing." "Hey Delmirinha, what was Toni telling you just now?" "Are you deaf?" "He wasn't saying anything, mother." "Wasn't he saying he'd like to do a double act with you on the trapeze?" "Why did you refuse, Delmirinha?" "The circus is going from bad to worse, and a number like that would be good." "It was my best number when I was your age." "I don't want it, mother, you know I don't." "I knovv, the circus disgusts you." "You're ashamed of being a circus artist." "You don't want to be known as a mountebank." "Well, a mountebank you are, no more." " Shut up, mother." " A mountebank, yes." "You, your father and I. All of us." "Or do you see yourself as some kind of princess?" "You'd fancy a palace to live in, is it?" "Shut up, mother, for God's sake." "MY Princess!" "Come, come, daughter..." "Why the tears..." "Don't be ashamed of being a circus artist." "There's no life more beautiful than ours, despite all the hardship." "See you tomorrow, love." "See you tomorrow, dad." "Come on, wake up." "Never mind, I'll get over it." "Delmirinha!" "Daddy, daddy!" "Mommy!" "Mother..." "Mommy, mommy!" "Dolly!" "Mommy, mom!" "I'm all right." "Save the circus!" "The wind wrecked everything." "We're done for!" "Mommy!" "No one will ever speak of Maravilhas Circus again." "What will become of us, now..." "Each one of us begging for a job in a different circus or working on the street like a mountebank." "Don't say that." "A few days' work and the circus will be shipshape again." "We'll mend the mast, we'll nail the screens..." "And the canvas?" "We cannot do a show without them." "Why not?" "On a fine evening, vve can do the show in the open air." "We're in Winter, Antonio." "It will rain." "It will rain and rain." "Sombre days came, when vve worked here and there, in wind and rain, in a hapless struggle to survive." "We sold the soaked woodworks and the tattered canvas, and wandered from town to town working for coins, like beggars." "Mountebanks vve were, through and through." "We suffered hardship and humiliation." "A piece of blanket served as circus ring, and our canopy was the sky." "We were as shadows roaming aimlessly." "We looked at each other and inside ourselves, and all we saw was melancholy." "We waited..." "There's a man with a circus for sale, the Hercules Circus." "I know it, I worked there." "It's a great circus." "But where's the money?" "Where will vve find it?" "Maybe he'll give us easy terms." "We could pay him with promissory notes." "I'm really wary of notes." "Perhaps he'll give us a break." "We could pay him off month by month." "This circus is as good as new." "Good vvoodvvorks, good canvas..." "Oh, if that circus could be ours..." "And vve pursued our dream." "The notes to pay hardly mattered, or the hardship, all the struggles..." "We had a circus, our very own, almost brand new." "Never again would vve work on the streets." "Those clays seemed so remote already, all the trekking to get some bread." "Miss Dolly was everywhere at once." "What a woman!" "She was the soul of that circus." "It's like a dream!" "A circus almost brand new." "Do that lettering properly, yes?" "Renewing notes runs against my grain." "Don't you worry." "We don't owe anyone a penny." "The dear old man was so happy painting the sign..." "Maravilhas Circus." "That was our home." "Respectable public..." "It is my honour to inform Your Excellencies that today, in the Market Square," "Maravilhas Circus will present a magnificent show." "Come in, ladies and gentlemen!" "Come and watch our great, sensational show." "Today, you'll see all the attractions." "You arrive at this time?" "We cannot work together like this." "The artists must be here in good time, or things will get sour." "The abuses vve had in the other circus must stop, you hear me?" "I heard you." "I'm not deaf." "It's gone up to her head." "Just because she's got a new circus..." "I loved your number." "You say that every night, as if it were different numbers." "But I love it every night, Delmirinha." "Are you ready?" "Damn this bowtie!" "It's like it's electric." "Let me do it." " Your shirtfront is disgusting." " Leave my shirtfront alone." "You're nothing like you were once." "You're like a different person." " What's biting you tonight?" " Nothing." "Two eggs..-." "Now, I shall say a few magic words." "What's wrong with him tonight?" "What has he done with the other pigeon?" " The other pigeon?" " What?" "Spare me!" "Why didn't vve see two pigeons?" "It didn't work." "Really?" "It's supposed to be two pigeons." "Yes, but the other one is sick." "Sick, my foot!" "You ate it." "You ate it, I bet." "Yes, you ate it." "What man is this, eating the pigeon he works with!" "Come on, come on!" "Do it!" "Why won't you jump?" "Don't you vvant to be a circus artist?" "Why not?" "It's so beautiful." "Everybody applauding, throwing flowers to us." "No, not flowers." "Veggies!" "You prefer veggies, don't you, Pombinho?" "Of course you do." "Come on..." "Come on." "Now!" "Come on, jump, jump!" "Jump, damn you!" "You're a bigger ass than an ass." "He will jump, Dad, as soon as he stops fearing the board, he'll jump." "You'll see." " I don't believe it anymore." " Don't say that." "It'll be the best number in the circus." "That would be so nice..." "I have the whole number in my head." "A board about one metre high." "Pombinho runs around the ring, jumping." "Then, I take a gun..." " A real one, Dad?" " No, with dry powder." "I take a gun and shoot, bang!" "Pombinho falls, and looks dead." "Four men arrive with a stretcher and take Pombinho away, with others behind playing a funeral march." "Isn't it amazing?" "As soon as Summer started, vve went on tour." "Those were the best times in my life." "The circus was triumphant." "Full houses every night." "Luck seemed to smile on us." " How is it'?" " Sold out." "Now, we could buy a horse for Delmirinha's number." "Yes, a horse, like in the old days." "And you, when will you give Pombinho his début?" "I can't say, an ass will be an ass." "He's a little hard to teach." "Get inside!" "I don't vvant the artists chatting outside their dressing rooms." "If she were my wife..." " May I ask you something, Delmirinha?" " What is it?" "Could you ever marry a clown?" "No, a clown, never." " Why do you ask?" " Just curious." "I just wanted to know your opinion." "Come, come." "Walk, wait, jump." "NOW, Jump!" "Jump, jump!" "Now you must bite the rein and walk around." "Watch it, love, that is dangerous." "Sure, but the public only likes dangerous numbers." "If one artist died in each shovv, circuses would always be full." "When I did that number, the entire audience stood and shouted: "Enough, enough!"" "It was the best number in my life." "No one could do the death spin like I did." "Do you vvant to try?" "No, I can't anymore." "We grow old." "Today, after only two spins I'd drop clown to the ring." "That's why I vvant you to learn it." "Learn it Delmirinha." "Then, when I see you, with you up there spinning, and the public screaming: "Enough, enough!"" "it'll be as if I had your age again." "It Will be like..." "You see, I'm older than I look." "I was getting sentimental..." "Jump, jump!" "You saw, he jumped!" "He's not afraid of the board anymore." "I'll make you a great artist yet, my Pombinho." "I'll get rid the bloody donkey one of these days." "You all heard what she said?" "She'll get rid of the donkey!" "I'm a good man, really good, but if that ever happened, we'd have a showdown!" "That night, vve went to the funfair." "Delmirinha walked beside me, smiling." "My heartbeat was close to happy." "Why hadn't I told her yet how much I loved her'?" "Should vve try?" "You try." "Why, it's such fun." "How is it'?" " Hovv much?" " Two "escudos"." "Could she ever understand how those shots tore me apart." "They woke memories that I'd rather forget." "Of war." "My hands were bloodstained." "I had killed, too." "I could never shake that obsession that lived within and tortured me." "I'd never be truly happy again." "I told her all of this." " She merely replied:" " Let's go." "And she led me away." "She wanted to take my mind off it, that vve had fun like two kids without a past or a present, pure, limpid children." "She smiled at me and her smile freed me." "It was a wonderful evening, wasn't it Toni?" "Yes." "The circus, when the lights are off, looks like a sleeping child." "Calm and sweet." "When vve really love something it is as if they have life and smell and can even speak." "Listen, can't you hear it?" "This whisper, as if someone were softly telling a secret." "It's the wind on the canvas." "I knovv." "Still, it's wonderful." "And the smell of the wooden dividers and of the beaten earth in the ring," "a smell that seeps into us and gives us a new soul." "Can't you smell it, Delmirinha?" "You keep talking about the circus, as if it were the only thing in the world for you." "It is my life." "I could never have a better life." "Why are you sad?" "Not me, why'?" "Good night." "Her eyes, so sad and sweet, touched me." "What got into her?" "Why had she suddenly become so sad?" "I'd never felt her so far away from me as on that night." "We went our separate ways." "Our destinies would not join." "Is it you, love?" "Yes." "Did you have much fun?" "Yes." "Respectable public," "I'm honoured to present a sensational number, making its debut." "Toni and Delmira on the famous number, "The death spin."" " Are you nervous?" " No." "I cannot rest till I see her clown on the ground." "Respectable public." "The artists will now execute a hazardous number:" "the death spin!" "I ask your full attention." "Did you see my shirt anywhere?" "Here is your shirt." "I wish you could see the grime that came out of this shirt." "You see, not even a thank you." "I have nothing to thank you for:" "I didn't ask you to wash my shirt." "Get dressed, man." "This cannot go on." "No one laughs when you're in the ring." "Pay no attention." "She doesn't know what she says." "I'm not keen anymore." "I'm not at all keen to do clown work." "It's stiff as wood." "She expected me to be thankful..." "All nice and white." "I look like a dandy." "You look good in it." "Oh yes?" "It's going to look even better." "Damn it!" " Delmirinha?" " Yes?" "I have something to tell you." "What is it?" "Are you going to the playground tonight?" "I might go." "I'll tell you later, then." "It's very important." "What's on your mind?" "You knovv, I agree with you." "You said you'd never marry a clown." "Well, I'm not a clown anymore." "I think you're making a bad choice, Chico." "No, I'm not." "I don't vvant you to be ashamed of me." "But I'm not ashamed of you." "But you said..." "You promised you'd marry me if I quit as a clown." "I don't vvant to hurt you, Chico, but I did not say that." "I knovv, you don't like me." "I do like you, Chico, but..." "Say no more, Delmirinha." "Miss, miss..." " You're in the circus, right?" " Yes." "And a tall man who does tricks is also in your circus?" " Adriani?" " I don't know his name." "He came into my stand, took an egg and said he could make two." "When I counted them, I was short of one egg." "On top of it, he bought sweet fries and the coin was fake!" "Does vvine make you forget, Adriani?" "It depends..." "But so long as I drink every day, so long as I keep drinking..." "Drinking doesn't help, Chico." "If the sorrow runs deep, no amount of vvine can drown it." "I know already why you act like that, Adriani." "It's because of her." " Her, who?" " Miss Dolly." "You think I don't know?" "You were in love with her before she married Mr. Felismino." "Me'?" "Yes, and you still love her." "You just don't think you do." "You try to hide it from everybody, even from yourself." "But you fail." "Me, in love with Miss Dolly?" "I never heard such nonsense in my life." "Just now, you were mixing a fried egg with sweet fries." " Who told you?" " The saleswoman at the stand." " She claims you stole one egg." " That woman is a thief." "I turned one egg into two." "I left one there and brought the other." "What does she vvant now?" " Did you post the money for the note?" " I did." "I'd love to give the circus a new coat of paint." "I'd love to buy me a nice, big caravan, too." "For our transportation from town to town." "That would be lovely." "Come in!" "Look who's here." "Jesuino, that old bore." "Good afternoon." "Good afternoon." "Take a seat." "Thank you." "You might be needing a clown." "No, vve don't." "You don't need one?" "Who are the clowns working here?" "PM and Romeo." "They're no good, but the public likes them." "You know who I am, don't you?" "We knovv..." "The great clown Jesuino." "Maravilhas Circus proudly presents tonight the great Jesuino." "You're reading that out of the air?" "It's a poster." "When I worked in the Paris Winter Circus, in 1925..." "We know your story." "When vve need you, we'll call you." "It must be now." "I need to work." "The public adores an artist like me." "Look here." ""To the great clown Jesuino," ""a tribute from his admirers, Milan 1925."" "I'm renowned throughout the world." "Sure, but vve don't need a clown." "Can you play any instrument?" "Always the same question!" "No, I can't." "Then, there's nothing vve can do." "You let the great Jesuino walk away?" "Very well..." "Not even as a fill-in between acts?" "No, vve have Chico for that." "Life is cruel." "This man, once a great artist, reduced to begging." "Again!" "I've told you: vve have nothing for you." "I can't go." "Please let me stay." "I'll do anything at all." "But vve don't need you." "Anything at all." "Just for food." "I'm hungry" "Don't send me away." "It's not charity." "I'll work." " Let me stay." " Come on..." "The only job vve could find him was as watchman." "That's fine." "Anything will do." "Help me with the buttons." "May I start tonight?" "Neither as clown nor as fill-in." "You'll be the circus's watchman." "Got it?" "I got it." "And each afternoon you'll parade with the musicians." "Can you play drums?" "No." "Then you'll carry the poster." " Can you carry a poster?" " I can." "What's his problem?" "He can't stand to hear the clowns, they're like fleas in his ears." "I set such hopes on this town." "Why won't they let me work?" "If I appeared in the ring, the houses would be packed." "You envy me." "You don't vvant me in the ring for fear that I'll steal your public." "I am the true clown." "My numbers never needed music." "In 1921, when I did my fainting number, the public offered it to me." "Will you all shut up!" "I can't bear your music." "Out, out, instrument of the Devil." "What is going on?" "It's these two." "They envy me." "They hold a grudge against me." "When vve get to Lisbon, you'll be sacked instantly." "I vvant no quarrels on account of you!" "Please don't do it, for God's sake!" "I'll never say a word again," "I swear, I swear." "Damn them!" "Damn them 1,000 times!" "Days of hardship followed." "Black days, of tragedy and hunger." "Move your leg." "Do you hear?" "Hovv could I know the leg was mine?" "You can't see a thing." "We often had to make a quick exit during the night, like robbers, because vve couldn't pay the boarding house." "I could eat a horse!" "Imagine, a hungry magician!" "Why don't you materialise a stuffed chicken?" "I'd prefer stewed rabbit." "I'd be happy with a slice of codfish." "Do you still remember the taste of steak and chips?" "What a great dish, hey?" "You can say that again." "Hovv about grilled salmon with butter sauce, potato cubes and a sprig of parsley?" "This place is so quiet." "It must be lovely to have a home here." "These houses weren't made for us, Delmirinha." "Our home is the circus." "Our entire life, vve roam from place to place, with house on our backs, like a snail." "No, that's no life." "It's the life of circus people, our life, Delmirinha." "I know only one thing lovelier than the circus:" "that's your eyes when you are sad." "Let me be Toni." "Let me be." "What is it?" "Don't you like me anymore?" "I do, Toni." "I love you but I don't vvant to." "You are the circus, and I hate the circus." "I hate it!" "Delmirinha!" "I'm sorry, I can't stand to hear you talking about the circus." "I want to be a woman like all the other women." "I vvant to have my home, a real house, never mind if it's small and poor, so long as it's a house, instead of wandering aimlessly all my life." "I know you don't understand me." "The circus is your life." "Delmirinha!" "Had a good night's sleep!" "So it was." "I kept dreaming of food." "Such lovely dreams..." "Let's get going." "Now." "We travelled on, side by side, close together, yet I felt she was more and more distant." "Hovv could she be so different from me?" "It is true that all my thoughts were on the circus, but why not, since it needed us so?" "She doesn't vvant it, imagine." "She won't let the donkey go on." "And what a number that is!" "I've told you once, I'll tell you twice:" "there's only one thing in life worse than a woman:" "two women!" "It's like an elephant joke." "Worse than two women: three." "And so it goes on, never ending." "That's why I say: women be damned!" "Speak softly; she might hear us." "What do I care if she hears it." "You speak so because you're an outsider." "I'm not." "Are you afraid of her?" "Me, afraid?" "That'll be the clay." "Well, if you aren't, give the donkey his début tonight." "Are you nuts?" "I've told you:" "I'll arrange everything." "She'll know only when the donkey trots into the ring." "No, Adriano, that can't be." "Can't be, why'?" "I said I'll arrange everything." "Respectable public." "Now you'll see the most sensational number yet presented in a circus." "Professor Felismino Farinha and his trained donkey." "In a moment..." "Jump Pombinho, jump." "Jump Pombinho." "Jump Pombinho." "Never the circus has been so humiliated." "Don't jump Pombinho." "Goodbye Pombinho." "Goodbye." "Give us a kissie." "Come on..." "Thank you." "It's amazing!" "Congratulations Dad." "Thank you, thank you." " I knew it would be a hit." " Thank you, Adriano." "Good work, hey'?" "Did you enjoy it?" "Go and thank their applause." "Bravo, bravo!" "I'll be back now." "Delmirinha!" "Hello, it's been a long time." " Adriani!" " Look who's here!" " Give us hug, old man." " Of course!" "What about a kiss?" "If you won't kiss me, I'll kiss you." "Hmm, lovely perfume!" "You never change, Adriano." " May I kiss you again?" " Naughty old man!" "Not that much..." "For you, my flower." " Sorry." " No, make yourself at home." "To think I once worked in such a hovel." "Theatre is a different kettle of fish." "You wouldn't believe it!" "Hovv are you doing?" "Doing my best." "I couldn't get used to this squalor again." "Living in a tent all my life." "Sorry, didn't mean to hurt you." "It's all right." "I've thought about you, you knovv." "With your skill and such a body, it's a crime that you're stuck here." "I heard you have a new number." "On the trapeze, isn't it?" "Yes." "Well, I'm in a hurry." "I must leave." "Here, keep my card." "I rented a new house, you know?" "I wish you could see it." "Whenever you come to Lisbon, come visit, will you?" "I Will." "Bye, darling." "See you soon." "How could I have Worked in such a dump!" "I couldn't get used to this to this misery again." "Sorry, didn't mean to hurt you." "I rented a new house, you know." "I Wish you could see it, I Wish you could see it..." "I'll cover the dice with this kerchief that once belonged to a Mandarin..." "But before, the famous magic powder." "Here it goes..." "And, here it is!" "Or, rather, it is not." "Yesterday, that's how it was." "Today..." " What's this noise?" " Come and see." "What happened?" "It was that scoundrel." "Yesterday, he ruined my cap, today he does this." "My beautiful pants!" "I'll kill the old man." "I'll tear him apart!" "Did you do this?" "He did." "He hates us because vve can play an instrument." "Come on, did you tear the man's pants?" "I svear I did not." "I'd never do such a thing." "Do you know what this is?" " A concertina." " lt was hidden under the stalls." "And the kerchief belongs to him." "Give me that!" " Is this your concertina?" " He stole it!" "The guy stole a concertina." "What does he vvant it for?" "I stole nothing." "Of course he stole it." "Look at his face." "Give me that!" "Hovv can the concertina be yours?" "It is mine." "I bought it." "You bought a concertina?" "!" " What for?" " Answer!" "He can't answer." "He stole it." "I did not steal it." "It's mine, mine!" "But what for could you vvant a concertina?" "Say it, man!" "Answer!" "I wanted to learn how to play it." " What?" " It's a lie, it can't be true." "It is true!" "No one wants a clown who can't play." "Let go of me, you bastards." "Bastards!" "Stop it!" "Bastards a thousand times, bastards!" "Help the man!" "What if he dies?" "That's just nerves." "He'll be fine in no time." "No, he's had it!" "I see only one solution:" "let's move it and take the old man with us." "No way." "The doctor says he's worse and can't stand the journey." "Whatever, I think it's best vve hit the road." "Me too." "He may be sick, but vve must earn a living." "What do you think?" "I don't like to do it, but vve have no choice." "And you?" "None of my business." "No, I vvant to know everybody's opinion." "If you vvant to take the old man along, take him." "Though it's likely that he'll die on the road." "What do you say, Toni?" "The old man is baggage, but he's flesh and blood just like vve are." "I think it's really indecent what we're going to do with him." "It's far more indecent that we've been here 5 days without working." "Don't think this isn't hard for me, too." "I have a heart, just like you." "But vve have no choice." "This tour has been a fiasco." "We didn't cash in enough even to pay the note." "Has he got the strength to stand up?" "We'll persuade him." "How's the old man doing?" "Doing great." "Milan, 1921." "Paris, 1929." "Madrid, 1927." "Poor clown Jesuino, who else will remember you, or your glorious evenings, your dreams and your tears." "Today's takings won't even cover the lighting bill." "Your attention..." "On account of the poor attendance, vve cannot perform the show tonight." "You may get your money back at the ticket office." "Circuses are doomed, Toni." "No one cares about us anymore." "We risk our lives each night." "What for?" "Only to be called mountebanks." "Mountebanks!" "I can't tell you what I feel when I hear that name." "I posted the telegram already." "We're in dire straits, Dolly." "Yes, vve are." "But if vve start each day saying that we're in dire straits, we'll end up doing nothing, and that's even worse." "Sure." "But the note..." "What if he won't wait?" "He will wait." "Before that day, our luck will change." "Days and nights of melancholia and loneliness, just waiting, always expecting." "We didn't work, we suffered, it seemed the circus itself was dying before our eyes." "We must get some payment today." "We haven't earned a penny in three days." "You've seen the houses, less and less by the day, and the weather isn't helping, either." "Take him away, take him, before I start weeping." "Tomorrow, everybody gets paid." "You can count on it." "It was not only the horse that was leaving;" "it was a part of the circus, a part of our very souls." "Misfortune abated on our heads and crushed us." "Why is life so hard for those who work?" "We just wanted to live, no more than that." "Hurry up." "It's best we don't make him wait for us." "Well, if he won't reform the note..." " Where is your comb?" " It's in the suitcase." " What's on your mind?" " Nothing, Mum." "You think I don't knovv." "That shameless girl filled your head with fancy ideas." "We're in a bind, vve risk losing the circus, yet, you only think of yourself." "You're selfish!" "Me, selfish?" "Mum, you have no right to say such a thing." "I always kept my mouth shut, but today, I won't have it." "Why am I selfish?" "Because I made such sacrifices for the circus?" "Because, as a child, I was whipped to learn the numbers?" "Because I am too cowardly to get on with my life?" "Because I vvant to break free from this misery, yet stay bound to it, because I believe that you need me, that you might suffer when I was gone." "Delmirinha!" "No, you sacrificed me, yourself, Dad and everybody, for the sake of these planks and tarpaulins." "Did you ever care to know if I was happy here?" "Shut up!" "Who do you think you're talking to?" "To you, mother." "For you, I'm just a circus number that you don't have to pay, and which you'd rather not lose." "That's it, nothing else." " Shut up, I said." " I will not, no." "Come on, Felismino." "You're not going to leave us, are you, baby?" "You wouldn't do that to us." "I couldn't live without you." "She has a temper, but deep clown she's kind, Delmirinha, believe me." "Yes, Dad, but get going." "Mother is waiting for you." "I'm so glad you came, Toni." "Tell me, do you still love me?" "Tell me truth, come on." " You know I do, Delmirinha." " Oh Toni!" "I so wished to hear you say it." "You can't imagine how good it makes me feel." "Let's go, then." "I don't care where, just take me away from here." "I don't vvant to stay here even one day more." "What happened, Delmirinha?" "Nothing, I just vvant to leave this place." "I vvant to go away." " You can't be serious..." " Yes, I am." "But why'?" "Don't ask me why." "Come on, for God's sake." "You mean, vve quit the circus?" "Why not?" "If you love me, take me away." "No, Delmirinha." "We cannot abandon the circus," "now that it needs us so." "What do I care about the circus..." "It's our livelihood, Toni." "Our livelihood, you understand?" "No, you wouldn't do such a thing." "It would be unfair." "I knovv, the circus..." "You talk as if it were a person." "And it is." "It has a heart, like all of us." "A heart?" "Like all of us?" "The circus seemed empty." "My heart was empty, too." "I could no longer see the circus without Delmirinha's presence." "Why had she forsaken us?" "Why had she left us?" "Why?" "What happened?" " Delmirinha left us." " And the show?" "We'll make do, somehow." "You'll do two numbers." "And Toni works alone?" "I'll do the death spin with you." " You're crazy." " I know what I say." "You heard me, Toni?" "Listen, it's a risk number." "I only thought of Delmirinha." "My life had been beheaded." "Come here." "See, I committed suicide today." "Nonsense." "You killed yourself yet you're here talking to me?" "Look, I put a rope here, like this... and I committed suicide." "What nonsense." "You're an idiot." "To commit suicide, you shouldn't put the rope around here." " Really?" " The rope shouldn't be there but here." " I tried that." " And..." "I couldn't breathe." "She's going to kill herself." "What for?" "We'll lose the circus anyway." "I'll be right back." "Respectable public:" "the artists will now perform a high-risk number: the death spin." "Aren't you feeling well?" "It's over." "It's late already." "It was nothing, nothing." "You could not forsake the circus." "Circus is our life." "My daughter, I'm glad you're back." "Don't feel sorry for me." "It's nothing." "I feel nothing, but I know I'm dying." " Mom, mother!" " My baby!" "I never told you, Delmirinha, but I loved you dearly." "I loved all of you." "You're sorry for me, Felismino?" "I wasn't always how you'd like me to be, but don't hold it against me." "Sometimes, vve have to be tough, even against our wishes." "I always dreamed of having a caravan." "A caravan painted green," "drawn by two horses." "God... never granted me that wish." "I know you were very fond of her." "I can never forget that morning." "Our flesh bled from so much struggling and hardship, so many useless dreams." "We can go now." "Let's go." "Circuses are doomed, Toni." "No one cares about us anymore." "We risk our lives every night." "What for?" "Only to be called mountebanks." "Mountebanks!" "Walk right in, walk right in..." "Pipi, Romeo, great musical parodists, 500 laughs a minute!" "Pombinho, the wise ass!" "You're sorry for me, Felismino?" "I wasn't always how you'd like me to be, but don't hold it against me." "Sometimes, vve have to be tough, even against our wishes." "Let's go, Dad." "Dad, let's go!" "Let's go." "Goodbye, baby." "Dad, Toni..." "We were united again." "Now tougher, stronger." "Capable of changing even our fates." "Nothing could separate us." "Life was not over yet." "New days would come, of struggle, disappointment and suffering, but vve would overcome them." "THE END" "Translation José H. Neto" "Subtitling Francisco Marques"