"Previously on "Being Erica":" "I'm suffocating under the weight of your collective disapproval." "She's always been my sensitive daughter." "Save your breath, Ruthy." "My daughter thinks she's to good to work for your successful business." "I do not." "Mom, leave her alone." "Thank you, Sam." "Trust me, I've been doing enough unleashing lately." "I kissed Ethan." "I mean, I..." "I really kissed him." "That is not the kind of bomb you drop in the middle of a conversation." "It's okay." "I'm here." "I'm glad." "I really need a friend right now." "I know, and you got one." "I'm not going anywhere." "When you're a kid, being grown up looks so easy." "Nobody tells you it's harder than it looks..." "Okay." "Bibs, blankets," "A monitor..." "I am totally getting these." "Look it, little temporary tattoos for babies." "Oh, look it." "There's a little stroller, a little pacifier, a little "I love mom."" "It's cute, right?" "Yeah, it's more of a novelty item." "Focus on the must haves;" "what Judith really needs." "A bumbo, a Graco snug ride, and the Daphne." "Chaz loves his Daphne." "Is that a stuffed animal?" "It's a reclining plastic bath seat." "Right, of course." "Now, what about the high chair?" "You've got options." "That those feelings that you have, that you don't measure up, that you're not keeping pace," "They never go away." "So you must be the best friend we've heard so much about." "You must be excited for this baby." "Oh, I am." "And how are preparations for the shower coming?" "Good." "I mean, they're really good." "I'm almost ready." "Organizing these things can be so much work." "We threw one last year for Marie's sister." "I can recommend a really good caterer if you want." "A caterer?" "Okay, Erica," "I need your opinion." "Yes." "Anthony likes the green one, but I'm just, I'm not sure." "What do you think?" "No contest at all, Jude." "Lo-tech, high-tech." "It reclines, it swivels," "It's..." "It's got a five point harness." "This is just much more practical." "Ah, but the low-tech, I mean, it's..." "It's really cute and..." "I like the Wood, it's more natural." "Yeah, it is cute, and the Wood is nice and, oh God, it costs about the same as a Lamborghini." "Excuse me." "What?" "High chairs are pricey but that's what the godmother is for, right?" "G-godmother?" "Judith told you, didn't she?" "Marie, it was supposed to be a surprise." "That's fine." "I'll just pretend like I don't know." "Damn, you guys." "I've gotta run." "Anthony's got this lunch thing and..." "Well, you can't go yet." "We need to put the items on the registry first." "Maybe we can coordinate something." "You know what?" "You just go." "I'll deal with it." "Really?" "Yeah, no problem." "Okay." "Muah." "Thanks you." "See you at the shower." "Hey, looking forward to it." "What do you do when you feel like you're the only kid in a room full of adults?" "Well, the only thing you can do." "You smile, you step up, and try your best to fit in." "Hi, there." "Um, this is Judith Winter's registry," "I'd like to enter these into the system and can I include, um, a delivery to my address?" "I'm hosting the baby shower." "Oh, great." "Yeah." "And..." "I would also like to buy the wooden high chair." "Wow, she must be a really good friend." "She is, and uh..." "It looks like I'm gonna be the godmother, so..." "Oh, great." "Okay, so, debit or credit?" "Um, whatever works." "We'll see." "# Being Erica 1x05 # Adultescence Original Air Date on February 2, 2009 # it's clearer inside of me # # who I will always be # # open me up to my heart #" "# feels like I'm seeing in the dark # # waking me up to my life # # to do it all over again and again #" "# to get to the end # # sum of my dreams # # and everything I ever wanted to be #" "I'm gonna put a bank of candles there." "And some classical music." "I think it looks great the way it is." "No, no, it needs a more of a mature vibe." "I mean, it's..." "It's a baby shower," "It's not some kid's birthday party." "Hey, do you see the, um..." "What do you need?" "I think it's underneath there." "That thing?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Wow, you know, for $400 dollars, you'd think they'd include instructions in english." "Some inheritance I don't know about?" "My best friend is having a baby and I'm the godmother." "You, you?" "Yes, me." "Is that so hard to believe?" "No, no, not at all." "It's just, um..." "Well, it's a big honour." "I know." "Hey, why don't you come by later." "I'll put aside some wine or you." "Thanks, but I don't think you want guys around here." "No, it'll be fun." "I'm having it catered." "Jenny's bringing the cake." "It'll be a lot of fun." "I'm going to Montreal." "Really?" "Yeah, I think I need to talk to Claire." "You don't have a long distance calling plan?" "No, I mean..." "really talk to her." "Look, I've had a month to think about it and I just..." "I need to understand what went wrong." "She cheated on you." "Erica, I can't just end this and... never talk to her again." "I'm not going back to reconcile," "I just, I feel like..." "I just wanna..." "feel that it's over." "No, I get it." "Yeah, go and do what you need to do." "Thanks." "'kay." "Code red." "I don't have wrapping paper or even a dorky gift bag." "Ah, in the bedroom, left side of the closet, third shelf." "You know, a baby shower is basically just rewarding somebody for having sex." "I have sex all the time." "Where is my reward?" "I think it's the "having sex" part." "Hmm." "I'll be back Sunday night" "I'm supply teaching Monday morning." "Okay." "Well, listen, um... drive safe, you know." "Thanks." "And uh..." "Good luck." "Thanks." "Have fun." "Okay." "Thank you." "Bye." "Bye." "What did you forget?" "What are you, what are you doing here?" "Listen, Jenny's, Jenny's in the bedroom." "I'm just checking in." "Interesting reading material." ""A Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy."" "Judith made me the godmother." "Really?" "Yeah." "Why is that a surprise?" "Do I look surprised?" "I think if anyone's surprised, it's you." "Okay, well, historically, I haven't exactly, you know, been godmother material." "Because the godmother is the one that, you know, takes care of the child if, well, if something were to happen." "It's a lot of responsibility, you know?" "You need a really secure, calm, stable person for that job." "Oh, and that's not you?" "No, it never used to be." "But, you know, +cause I kind of always... thought that I was more of the wacky aunt Erica type." "But you know I..." "I have a job now." "Something that might lead to an actual career." "I mean, everything in my life is falling into place." "And Judith sees that." "Obviously Anthony agrees." "And I just think that... it's time that I started seeing it too." "Okay, does this just look like shit or some kind of avant garde orgasm?" " Hi." " Hi." "Who are you?" "Uh, the neighbour." "And he just came over to borrow some of the, um, some of that." "There." "Thanks." "You're welcome." "Why don't I show you out?" "Sure." "Okay." "Bye." "Bye." "See you soon." "So..." "Thoughts?" "Wow, um..." "why don't you give me that and you can take out your origami skills on those napkins." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "# how did we pass the time # # everyday we'd climb #" "I asked the caterer not to put alcohol, obviously, in the petitsfours, the cheese in the quiche is pasteurized and the coffee is decaf." "Wow, you had this catered?" "Of course." "I'm not just gonna throw something together." "'kay, now as for you, just relax, enjoy yourself, take a load off." "If you need anything I'm at your beck and call." "Thanks." "Hey." "Hey, how are you?" "Oh, would you excuse me for a second?" "Sam." "Sam." "You know if you keep checking in on Josh, it's not gonna be a very fun stag night." "I know, that's kind of the point." "I don't want it to be too much fun." "His best friend Ryan is in town and they always get into trouble." "I told Josh, no strippers, and I meant it." "Just keep it clean and classy, just like this." "Great party, by the way." "Thank you." "Thanks." "I like to think I come by it, honestly." "If this was one of mom's, there would be a ton... of brisket!" "There you are, Erica." "How thoughtful of you to provide wine for us non-pregnant types." "What's that?" "Oh, that is a baby bjorn." "How do you know that?" "Research." "Hey, ladies." "Alyson and Marie, this is Jenny." "Fabulous shower." "I love all the little details." "Thank you." "Thank..." "Thank you." "Um, would you ladies like something to drink?" "Sure." "I have wine or... of course a plethora of non-alcoholic drinks." "I've got sanpellegrino and, um, fruit juices." "You know what?" "This elderberry juice is delish." "Try some with ice?" "Hilarious." "This must be from you, Erica." "Oh, actually, I um..." "Those I think are from Jenny." "I couldn't resist." "Here, I'll, uh..." "I'll grab you mine." "Pardon me." "Erica." "No, you didn't." "I did." "Of course I did." "Judith, this is your first child." "Thank you." "This is a bit awkward." "What?" "We already bought the other high chair for Judith." "It's being delivered tomorrow." "We know you wanted to pay for it yourself, but it's a godmother's right to spoil the baby, isn't it?" "And especially when there are two of us." "Uh..." "Um..." "The other high chair..." "Yeah... 'cause it's so much more practical, right?" "I can totally take this back." "Um..." "I'm just gonna see if I, uh..." "I just wanna make sure" "I didn't throw out the receipt." "Would you excuse me for a second?" "Sorry." "Hey." "Where is that?" "You're upset." "No, I'm fine." "I'm totally fine." "Well, you're not acting fine." "No, you know, Judith, I really..." "I think I just got a little bit carried away at the baby store, you know, I just really, you know, wanted to do something special and..." "This party is really special." "Well, I am glad." "and you know, besides, that other high chair, it sounds way more practical, right?" "And Alyson and Marie, they seem like total godmother material." "I put a lot of thought into the decision, and it wasn't easy." "But... you know, they've got a kid already and they're stable and they just get it, you know?" "Totally, I mean, that makes sense, you know?" "And I'm, I'm... more like the wacky aunt Erica, right?" "Yeah." "You lead this incredible fun life and... you're gonna be the best wacky aunt ever." "Yes." "Where is that receipt?" "Yo, hostess." "You forget there's a party going on?" "Yeah." "Are you okay?" "I'm fine." "You guys, I'm totally fine." "Go out and enjoy your guests." "I'm gonna grab some cake." "Yeah." "Jenny..." "Look, I'm not stupid." "What's up?" "You look like you're gonna bawl." "I just, I..." "I thought that I was the godmother and it turns out that Alyson and Marie are." "I mean, it's totally, it's not a big deal." "Judith's only known them for a... a year." "Does Anthony even know them?" "I don't get that." "'kay, well, listen, to this night ending quickly." "You know what?" "If you ask me, you dodged a bullet, babe." "Mm-hmm." "Yeah." "Come on." "Okay." "Yes." "Always." "Let's go." "Let's get some cake." "All right." "So who's ready for cake?" "Um, this is, uh..." "Jenny brought the cake." "Oh, um, everyone, please, uh, before we cake it up," "I have something to say." "Uh, first of all, I want to thank you all for coming tonight, um... and I also want to especially thank Erica for making me a beautiful baby shower." "She's gonna be the best wacky aunt ever." "Just like she's been my best friend forever." "So, to Erica." "Wow, thanks." "To Erica." "Oh, my" " Jenny?" "!" "Sam." "Jenny?" "Jenny, are you okay?" "Jenny." "Did she drink too much?" "What, where am I?" "Oh, we need to get her into a cab." "Drive me home." "Of course." "Okay." "Listen, I'm gonna..." "I'll take a cab back." "I'll be half an hour." "Okay, just take your time." "Here." "Take your time." "Woo." "I am so, I'm so sorry." "I'm really sorry for ruining the party." "No, no, no." "It's fine, honey." "Okay." "Hey, Jenny, honey." "It's okay, you're home." "Thank God." "So, what is it?" "Was it your stomach?" "Or are you just exhausted?" "Or... what?" "Me?" "Tired?" "Please, the night's just begun." "We're gonna go for a drink?" "Jenny?" "!" "What the hell?" "!" "Like I was gonna let you suffer any longer." "I can't believe you." "We're going back." "No, we're not, okay?" "You need some time to decompress, babe." "We can't have you bawling all over the place, okay?" "You know, with Judith, she can..." "I mean, she can pick whoever she wants." "Yes, yes, but she could've maybe told you before tonight." "It was insensitive." "Now, don't argue." "You know... sometimes, I swear Judith is a computer." "A data processing automaton." "You're terrible." "Look, the thing is, is that Alyson and Marie," "I mean, they're parents." "They have great jobs, they make a lot of money." "So?" "So maybe if I were more like them, then Judith would've picked me." "Wait, you wanna be more like them?" "Wow." "This calls for some pretty serious action." "I apologize in advance for what I'm about to do." "No." "Jenny!" "Not funny!" "Jenny!" "Hi." "Jennifer!" "I'm just with her." "Great." "# oh, the things that you say # # just to play my worries away # # oh, you're all the things I've got to remember # # you shine away #" "# I'll be coming for you anyway # # take on me #" "Um, can I have my purse, please?" "Oh, this?" "This?" "Yes." "Jenny, I'm serious." "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh." "Really mature." "Since when do you buy elderberry juice?" "Since now." "Get on stage with me." "# eeeeeeeeeeee... #" "Or... enjoy sleeping on a park bench tonight because your money and keys are one with my crotch." "Okay, fine, one song, but that's it." "Okay." "No, I mean it." "No, that's fine." "Fine." "All right." "Cheers." "Woo!" "Mm." "# take on me #" "Listen, she's turning 30 in, like, three hours and she's never karaoke'd before and she's dying of some rare incurable tropical disease." "I know." "Cutie." "Go." "Go." "Hey." "Break a leg." "Thank you." "Oh my God..." "You start." "# I come home in the morning light # # my mother says #" "# "when you gonna live your life right?" # # oh, mother dear, # # we're not the fortunate ones # # but girls, they want to have fun # # oh, girls just wanna have fun #" "Come on." "Own it." "She put me up to this." "Cover your ears." "# the phone rings in the middle of the night # # my father yells, #" "# "what you gonna do with you life?" # # oh, daddy dear, you're still number one # # and girls, they wanna have fun #" "# whoa, girls just wanna have... # # that's all they really want #" "# just fun # # when the working... #" "I think a lot of babies do that." "What" "No, I don't believe you," "Erica hates singing in public." "Okay, wait." "# oh, daddy dear, you know you're still number one #" "Hi." "Hey." "Um, Erica is singing?" "Who sent that?" "Yeah, um..." "Come on, who sent it?" "Josh." "Erica and Jenny ran into him at his stag or something." "# but girls, they wanna have fun #" "Right." "# whoa, girls just wanna have... #" "No... one sec." "Oh yeah." "Let's go." "So embarrassing." "Wooo." "Okay, you got your song, now give with the purse." "Nice work, Strange." "Josh?" "So, uh..." "this is your stag, huh?" "It's nice and tame." "Sam'll be happy." "Jennifer, you're looking particularly hot this evening." "Jenny, I think it's time that we leave." "Well, that's too bad." "You should probably meet Ryan considering you guys are gonna have to share duties." "Erica's Sam's sister, ergo the maid of honour." "Ryan's my best man." "Best... man." "You are "the" Ryan." "The college roommate that would sleep in the deck chair, in the hallway, when Sam would come to stay?" "I was seeing a chiropractor about that for awhile, but then I found out if you just... tone the stomach muscles, the back pain melts away." "Why haven't we met before?" "Oh, this guy's international." "And thanks to my investment planning, he has houses in, like, four cities." "Uh, the one in London's a flat" "Who can afford a house in London, right?" "Yeah, I mean, the fees for the chimney sweep alone, right?" "Phew!" "Yeah." "Trust me, don't buy the cow." "Milk's free everywhere, all right?" "We're outta here." "Let's go." "Nice, Josh." "Come on, let's go" "The opinions of the groom don't necessarily reflect the standards of the best man." "Well, then I will try not to hold your taste in friends against you." "Dude, come on, let's go!" "Poker" "I gotta." "I'm the best man," "It's my duty to be his whipping boy." "Well, hey, just make sure my future brother-in-law remains a virgin." "We'll be in the vip room if you two ever get tired of karaoke." "When you're tired of karaoke, you're tired of life." "Wow." "Wow is right." "Oh, awesome." "Two missed calls from Judith." "Excuse me." "So, you and Jenny are out doing karaoke?" "How did you know?" "I thought Jenny was sick." "Um, no, she's uh, she's fine." "It was just a misunderstanding, Jude." "She fainted in your living room." "Look, I'm gonna be there in ten minutes." "I'm just hailing a cab right now." "No, just stay out." "Enjoy yourself." "Judith." "You know what?" "You're not the godmother." "Fine, you get upset." "Whatever." "But then you go and do this?" "God, you wonder why I chose Alyson and Marie?" "No wondering here." "Not anymore." "I fully get it." "I need a drink." "Okay, I know you need a drink." "Let's get you one" "And then you should really go and talk to Judith." "No, I don't think so." "Mm-mm." "Hey, you know what?" "I have always wanted to learn how to play poker." "Erica, I think..." "You know what?" "The thing is, is that I tried." "But no matter what I do, what job I have," "I'm still gonna be wacky Erica." "You know, the irresponsible one," "The flake and... you know what?" "That's fine." "That's fine, I really don't care." "I'm just as happy to party at the kids' table." "Hunh." "Thanks for the loaner." "Well, you can keep it because I don't need it." "Oh." "So, baby shower didn't go so well, hm?" "Huh..." "Well, let me guess." "The party didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, and now you don't want to go back." "Just tell me, you know, where am I going today?" "Your bat mitzvah." "My bat mitzvah?" "Why?" "Well, because you ran away from that party too." ""and those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it."" "Winston Churchill." "I'm going back to the '80s?" "You're going back to that special Jewish, coming of age ceremony where you left childhood behind forever and became an adult." "And so why is this a regret?" "My parents... they spent six months planning my bat mitzvah." "# do you love me... #" "I had requested this "Dirty Dancing" theme, and my mom, she was a huge Patrick Swayze fan, so she was all over it, but failed to deliver in every way." "My bat mitzvah, it meant a lot to me and to my parents." "I had this idea about how it was gonna be and when it didn't go according to plan," "I just freaked out." "You know, it felt like everything was going wrong, and the final straw was this kid," "Cody Maxwell" "Cody was the cool kid." "He was the guy that everybody wanted at their bat mitzvahs and I..." "I don't know, somehow... he ended up calling me a jewser." "Jewser!" "A jewser?" "Yeah, it's..." "like loser, but with Jew." "Anyway, that was it." "I had pinned all of my hopes on this day, and... it felt like such a huge failure so I was a huge failure, and I..." "I bailed on the whole thing." "I stormed out and spent the evening in the car, crying." "my parents were devastated." "They got into a huge fight all because of my silly freak out." "And what would you do differently?" "I would stay." "I would hang with my parents and... and Leo and Sammy... and I would dance with my friends." "Just enjoy it for what it is, instead of making it into something that it isn't." "Amen." "Oh my God." "Okay, Erica, it's time to read from the Torah." "The Torah?" "Oh, no." "Okay, Erica, you can start." "Could you help me out with the first line?" "Amen." "Mazel tov!" "I just want you to know how proud we are of you, darling, and that we would never put baby in the corner." "Because you're no longer a baby... you are a woman now." "What do you think?" "It's great." "You really outdid yourselves." "# do you love me?" "You love me?" "# # oh, do you love me?" "How do you love me?" "# # how do you love me?" "#" "Now, I hope you don't mind we didn't hire a proper Patrick Swayze impersonator?" "Uncle Ruby's seen Dirty Dancing 53 times" "No." "I love it." "# watch me now, baby # # work, work # # work it all, baby!" "Work, work #" "Hello, young lady." "May I have this dance?" "# with a little bit of soul now # # like a mash patato like the mash potato # # and I can do the twist I can do the twist # # now tell me, baby tell me, baby #" "# do you like it like this?" "Do you like it like this?" "# # tell me... # # tell me... # # tell me... #" "# do you love me?" "Do you love me?" "# # now do you love me?" "Do you love me?" "# # do you love me?" "Do you love me?" "# # now that I can dance # # dance... # # dance... # # watch me now!" "# # work, work # # shake it up, shake it work, work #" "# I shake 'em up I shake 'em down #" "I have never actually watched someone commit social suicide." "Come on, Jenny, it was hilarious." "Do you realize Cody Maxwell is here?" "I heard last weekend that he actually kissed that skeezer," "Carly Rosenfeld." "And you're way cuter than her, so I totally thought he was gonna kiss you." "But now... no way." "Can't believe I chose this one over Rachel Epstein's." "You can always leave;" "that's an option." "Yeah, I think maybe I will." "Hey, Barry, what do you call a loser at her bat mitzvah?" "A jewser." "You know, Cody, not to be condescending and all, nut all this judging of people... not so nice." "Especially considering the fact that you're a bed-wetter." "You're thinking, how does she know?" "Not gonna bore you with details, but after the class trip to Ottawa next year, everyone will know... and your reign of terror will be over." "Cody" "Being a little shit again." "Get outta here." "# well you drive me crazy work, work # # and don't you get lazy #" "Leo, look at your hair?" "!" "What?" "It's choice." "It's a mullet." "All business in the front, party in the back, baby." "Oh, speaking of parties." "Brought my my guitar, gonna maybe jam with the band later," "If they'll let me." "Very cool." "Yeah." "So, I just wanted to say, you nailing' that little bastard was way cool." "You saw that?" "I did, and it was righteous." "Up high." "Down low." "In the middle." "Too slow!" "Have fun, sis." "# well do you love me?" "#" "Two tom collins on the rocks." "Thanks, chief." "Mazel tov!" "How's my girl doing?" "Awesome." "This party's, like, the coolest ever." "Watch this one." "Juice or water, that's it." "Not to worry, sir, I'll keep an eye on her." "Thanks for the Torah part." "You couldn't have just brought me to the party?" ""no party is any fun unless seasoned with folly."" "Desiderius Erasmus." "Took out Cody Maxwell and my brother called me righteous." "That deserves a cocktail, don't you think?" "I cannot serve alcohol to minors." "You heard your father." "The fact that I'm a child is a technicality." "Do you know who was a really remarkable child?" "Shirley Temple." "So, this is my bat mitzvah." "Yes, it is." "It's pretty great." "Even my dad seems happy." "I don't think I remember him smiling until the late '90s." "You know, it's nice to see them like that." "To enjoy it." "To be 32..." "and to not give a damn." "Erica!" "Erica." "Will you take this damn thing, please?" "What is that?" "A Shirley Temple." "Come with me, sweetheart." "What's wrong?" "I just want to have a little chat with you." "# so come with me 'cause we're meant to be # ...And you know, honey, in the next little while your body is gonna start to change too." "So many changes." "Mom, can we not talk about this right now." "Of course, I'm sorry." "I don't want to embarrass you in front of your friends." "It's just..." "I look at this face and I see my little baby." "Before you know it, I'll be walking down the aisle;" "Playing with my grandchildren;" "Visiting you at the firm." "The firm?" "The law firm." "Don't you still want to be a lawyer?" "Right, a lawyer." "Wow, I forgot all about that little phase." "I mean..." "yeah, that could happen," "But it's also possible" "I won't get married right away." "I might be thirty and still single." "Oh, sweetheart," "Don't worry, that's not gonna happen." "By 30, you'll have two kids and a husband, trust me." "But what if I don't?" "What if I'm not a lawyer?" "What if, at thirty, I'm still single and living in a one bedroom apartment and working as someone's assistant?" "Erica, that's not gonna happen... living like that." "Like some bum..." "at thirty;" "That's not you." "Now stop thinking such terrible thoughts." "Go." "Be with your friends." "I love you." "Thank you." "Hold onto this." "That's mine, that's mine." "Too bad." "Hey." "Party's that way." "I need a minute." "Oh." "I think it's a shame that you're not enjoying your bat mitzvah." "It is a once-in-a-lifetime event." "Twice, if you're me." "That's true." "Why do I even care?" "I mean, what's the point of doing this again?" "It's not like I'm gonna reach adulthood anyway, at least not according to how my mom defines it." "Well, you know then, why not just try being who you are?" "Hey, how 'bout that?" "I'm not even sure I know who I am." "No, that's not true." "You're Erica Strange:" "Friend, daughter, crazy aunt, bat mitzvah honoree." "Bat mitzvah honoree?" "Yeah, right." "You know what it's like, Erica?" "It's like..." "It's like you are in a boat." "You've got this one oar over here and it's just rowing and rowing and rowing." "You know, furiously fueled by everyone else's expectations." "And that's..." "that's never gonna stop," "But it's kinda got you going around in circles." "'cause if you want to move forward, then you also have to row with the oar that represents how you see yourself." "Hmm..." ""learn to be what you are and learn to resign with good grace all that you are not."" "Henri Frederic Amiel." "Like, oh my God, the band is packing up, and cody Maxwell's dragging everyone to Rachel Epstein's bat mitzvah." "Why is the band packing up?" "It's only 8:00." "Did you not hear what I said?" "Don't move." "If you'd just listened to me, none of this would've happened." "Why is the band stopping?" "People still wanna dance." "Because we just hired them for a certain amount of time." "Well, could we offer them more money to stay?" "The thing, sweetie, is that... there isn't more money." "Oh, please, Gary," "I told you not to discuss this... we should've hired a DJ." "It would've been a lot cheaper than hiring a stupid band." "Oh, okay, so then it's my fault?" "A band, DJ, honestly, I don't care." "You see, she doesn't care." "I just want it to be a good time." "So, why didn't we just hire Leo and his guitar?" "Oh, Gary, don't be ridiculous." "Come on." "Whoa-ho-ho." "Whoa, what're we doing?" "You wanted to jam, right?" "No way." "Way." "Um... what are we playing?" "Uh, hi." "You're probably wondering why the band's packed up so early." "Well, my parents wanted them to play all night, but I wanted to try something a little different." "But first I wanted to thank my parents for throwing me the best bat mitzvah ever." "# I come home in the morning light # # my mother says, #" "# "when you gonna live your life right?" # # oh, mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones # # but girls, they wanna have fun # # oh, girls, they wanna have fun #" "# the phone rings in the middle of the night # # my father yells, #" "# "what you gonna do with your life?" # # oh, daddy dear, you know, you're still number one # # but girls, they wanna have fun # # oh, girls just wanna have... #" "# that's all they really want # # is some fun #" "# when the working day is done # # oh, girls, they wanna have fun # # oh, girls just wanna have fun #" "Pssst." "13 years ago... 13 years ago, ny wife gave me a great gift." "A girl." "A girl who has your tenacity." "And your..." "tempestuousness." "And your wit." "And your compassion." "And today we celebrate together as that girl becomes a woman." "Thank you." "Ah." "Hey, girls" "Glad you changed your mind." "If they want to stay, this becomes strip poker." "Off with the shirts." "That includes you, Jennifer." "I'm in." "Um, I'm out." "I mean, I'm gonna, I'm leaving." "What?" "You just said..." "I changed my mind though, so..." "And I can't change it back?" "Um... wow, trust me, under normal circumstances you most definitely could, but there's somewhere that I really need to be." "Well, what's the forecast for tomorrow then?" "Because if that calls for normal circumstances," "I'd love to take you out for dinner." "That would be great." "Yeah." "Um, do you wanna... a phone number or email?" "You know what?" "You're in a rush right now," "So don't worry, I'll figure it out." "Torture Josh if I have to." "Okay." "Please do." "Hi." "Good night." "Thanks." "Oh, Judith, thank God, you're still here." "Please, please, please, just hear me out." "Alyson and Marie are waiting for me downstairs." "I know, I'm sorry that I took off on you, and Jenny and I with karaoke, it was just stupid." "Whatever." "I don't care, okay?" "I really don't." "Judith." "Jude, please." "Hey, it's me, again." "Uh..." "I'm just..." "I'm calling to apologize." "Jude, please call me back." "Judith?" "I brought your book back." "Thanks, it'll make great kindling." "No, it was a good read." "Yeah, but I'm not the godmother and I sure as hell don't wanna be the wacky aunt." "Who says you have to be either?" "E. E. Cummings said:" ""it takes a lot of courage to grow up and be who you really are."" "Good night." "Judith!" "Hey, Jude!" "'kay, I'm going around to the back!" "Judith!" "Mrs. Winters!" "Come on, Judith, I know you're in there." "I am not leaving until you come out." "Hey." "You walked out on my baby shower." "I know." "I was wrong." "And..." "Look, the whole godmother thing, okay..." "Alyson and Marie, they were the right choice, Jude." "I get it." "I picked them... because they've been through this before." "And I haven't... and I'm terrified." "And maybe it was insensitive, okay?" "And a mistake..." "No it wasn't." "It wasn't." "The whole time you were gone, they kept talking about, uh..." "Egg yolk baby poop?" "Yeah." "It's newborn poop." "It's like, uh..." "It's like egg yolk, but it smells like popcorn." "Oh my God." "I am not handling this." "How do you even know about that?" "I did some research, you know?" "When I thought that I was gonna be the... whatever." "Oh..." "God, I feel terrible." "Don't, don't." "Hey, listen." "You made the right choice." "You did the right thing." "And I'm gonna..." "I'm gonna babysit;" "I'm gonna spoil your kid rotten;" "I..." "I'm gonna bring you casseroles when you aren't sleeping and do everything that I can to help you." "'cause godmother or not," "I'm still your best friend." "And..." "Surprise!" "What's this?" "It's the last thing on your registry." "Bam ba-ba-ba!" "The diaper eater!" "Probably the least flashy thing that you could get, but it's practical." "And every time I use it, I will think of you." "Mm..." "Thanks." "No, thank you." "There comes a point when you realize, truth is this:" "Being grown up is simply knowing who you are and having the courage to be that person, warts and all." "Hey, you." "Eric" "I see you're back from Montreal in one piece." "I am." "So, how did it go?" "Better than it should've, actually." "Wow." "I mean, that's surprising." "Ryan." "Okay, um, well..." "Look, I'll talk to you later, all right?" "Yeah, I'll talk to you later." "Hey." "You're early." "I know, I am early." "Half an hour early." "And I know that may seem creepy, but..." "I just like showing up early for things." "That's okay." "I was gonna change into something nicer though." "You look great." "Thank you." "Uh, do you wanna, do you wanna come in for a second?" "I got lots of elderberry juice leftover from last night." "Elderberry?" "It's actually quite good." "I'll trust you on that one." "And why do you have elderberry juice?" "Don't ask."