" What you are looking at is 250 million light years away." "This means that it took 250 million years for the light from those stars to reach our eyes." "We are thus, at present, staring into the past." " My dad died during my sophomore year of college." "For five years, Mom kept a strong front as she wanted us to move on with our lives." "Mom, do you have a favorite designer?" " No." " Didn't you want to be one?" " Yes." " So, how is it that you don't have a favorite?" " Well, I suppose, that would be me." " Seriously, Mom." " Well, honey, I don't know." "I can't afford them so I don't bother with that." " Why'd you become a nurse then?" " Stability." "Income, you know." "Helping people." "Who knows?" " Maybe you could do both." " Ah, I think it's too late for that." " It's never too late." " That is true but I'm really good with what I do." " Right." "When are you gonna use that handbag?" " I'll use that for a special occasion." " Like what?" " Like Steven's commencement." " You should just use it every day." " No, it's too expensive." "Precious." " After Mom's funeral, everything went downhill." " Hey." " Hey, Uncle Larry." " Hey, Steven." "I thought you boys would be hungry." " Oh, thank you." " Uncle Larry brought dinner." " Is he here?" " Yeah." " I don't know." " Are you hungry?" " No." " No worries, then." " Thanks." " Well, you're gonna be a doctor, aren't you?" " Hope so." " Then maybe your brother will follow." " Follow?" " Yeah, and finish his studies." " He did already." " He did?" " Yeah, two years ago." " I thought that he moved back home." " He did just because he didn't want Mom to be by herself." " So, he would drive two hours to college every day?" " An hour 45 if you drive like him." " Yeah." "Sorry, I didn't know." " It's alright, he doesn't really advertise his life too much." "You need to eat." "I know you didn't eat lunch." " What's for dinner?" " Pasta." " I'll get to it, just leave it on the table." " OK." " Hey, is Herman around?" " He is I." " Hi, I'm Nate's brother, Steven." " My condolences." " Thank you." " How's Nate doin'?" " Not too well." "I think he just needs time." " Totally understand." " I hope this doesn't inconvenience your business too much." " No, it does not." "Trent has volunteered to take all of his clients." " Oh, that's very kind of him." " Hi." " Hi, you're Trent?" " Yeah, and you're Steven." " I am." "I think I saw you at the funeral." " Yeah, I'm really sorry for your loss." " Thank you." " How's Nate?" " Not too well." " Oh, I'm sorry." "He really loved his mom." " She was well-loved by the family." " Of course, yeah." " Hey, thanks, Trent." " No, any time." " Give Nate my regards." " Definitely." " OK, bye." " OK, bye." "Sorry." " It's OK." "Thanks for taking Nate's clients." " Oh, no problem at all." " Herman told me you weren't getting paid for it." " It's fine." "A little something for Nate during his tough time." " That's too kind." "I insist you get paid." " No, I don't want it." "Besides, Nate knows that I'll never take a cent from him." " Of course." " When's a good time to drop by and see him?" " He's not really too keen on visitors right now." " OK," "I'll just drop him a text then." " That's very thoughtful." " Hey." " Don't go." "Please don't go back yet." " I already booked a flight." " Can't you call and change it?" " It's an internet ticket." "I left it open for now." "Yes, they let me do that." "I miss you too, Babe." "I love you too." "You're up." " Yeah." " You hungry?" " No." " You should eat though." " I know, I will." "Do you see that handbag there?" " Yeah." " Mom was gonna use it for your commencement." " There's something I need to tell you." " Yeah?" " I have a boyfriend." " Oh, great." " He's super nice." " That's good." " So, I told him that I was staying longer over here so, he's flying over." " What for?" " Emotional support." "He's nice like that." " Doesn't he have to work?" " Nah, he's a student as well." " Med student?" " No, he's getting his PhD." " Smart guy." " He is." "So, I don't know if we'll get a hotel or if I should have him stay here." " He could sleep in the living room." " Nate, you know I'm gonna have to share a bed with him." " Right." " So, what do you think?" " Is he rich?" " No." " What do you suggest?" " Would it bother you if we stayed in Mom's room?" " Why would I mind?" " 'Cause you're emotional like that." " But I'm not unreasonable." " Well, then it's settled." " Yes, it is." " You'll like him." " I'm sure I will but" "I'm not exactly in the mood to make new friends." " Follow me." "Ray, this is Nate." " Hi, I'm Ray." " Hi." " Steven talks about you all the time." " He does?" " Yeah." " Let's get that luggage in the room." "Thirsty, Babe?" " I'm good, thanks." " So, I heard you're getting your PhD." " I am." " In what field, if you don't mind me asking?" " Astrophysics." " How's that going?" " You know, ups and downs but moving along." " I see." " Ray's studying black holes." " Really?" "This is a picture I took of Steven during our last hiking trip." "After Steven left for college, we never got a chance to go hiking again." "So, I printed it out, framed it, and set it on my desk." "Of course Mom and Dad thought I was just a sweet little brother." "Steven and I had always been close and shared a bedroom." "When I was 11 and he was 12, we started to experiment with each other sexually." "After a few years, we had realized we'd fallen in love." "Of course, we felt guilty and ashamed and we didn't dare tell anybody what we were doing." "We'd hoped it was a phase we'd grow out of." "But we ended up sleeping with each other until Steven left for college." "We knew this could destroy our lives so we made a pact." " I'll be in Maryland and you'll go to college in a different state." " When's the last night you'll sleep in my bed?" " The night before I fly off." " OK." " You'll be leaving for college soon." " Gonna miss you so much." " I'll miss you too." " You're moving to a diverse city." " Your mom and I want you to know that if you fall in love..." " Bae." " It doesn't matter to us whether that person is black, white, Asian, Latino, whatever." " As long as that person loves you completely." " Excited about college?" " A little bit." " That's great." " No, it's not." "Out with it, Nate." " Fine." "Why are you so nonchalant about the whole thing?" " I am far from it." " You seem to be taking this transition pretty well." " So are you." " Not now, am I?" " Can you feel it?" "I hate this just as much as you do." "Now, what would you have us do?" " Move to a town far far away." " And cut ties with Mom and Dad?" " Of course not." " OK, what then?" " We'll stick to the plan." " You sure?" " Is there a choice?" " No, not really." " My grades went down after Steven left." "Didn't help that we agreed not to text each other." "The night before Thanksgiving I could not sleep." " Steven?" "Oh, great." " Hi, Ma." " Come on in, let me get your bag." " I got it, it's heavy." "Hey, Nate." " Good to see you, Steven." " Good to be back." "When's Dad comin' back?" " About an hour or so." " OK." "I think I might go with a Japanese car because they last longer." " Oh, is that so?" " People say that." " Japanese or American doesn't matter." "Just make sure you get the car inspected before you buy it." " I know." " Maybe Steven should just take the bus." " He needs a car for social activities." " He needs to focus on his studies." " I am, Mom." " That was not scary at all." " Apparently, Nate fell asleep." " I'm just tired." " Your dad was scared." " Pardon me?" " I saw you closing your eyes and covering them." " It's late." " Here, I'll get it." " No, no, no, no, no." "It's after midnight for you." " Thanks, Mom." " Honey, turn off the lights before you go to bed." " OK." "Nate." " Yes?" " Go to bed." " I will, don't worry." " I miss you." " I miss you too." " Good afternoon." " Afternoon." " We left breakfast for you in the fridge." " Thank you." " Hey." " Did you sleep well?" " It was alright." "How 'bout you?" " Took me a while but I did it." " Good." " So, did you get any on the sheets?" " Excuse me?" " Your come or his come?" " What the fuck?" " You guys were fucking, weren't you?" " Yes, I missed him." " I don't know how I feel about you guys fucking on Mom's bed." " Mom wanted us to be happy." " Her bed is not even five days cold." " We're getting a hotel." " What's going on?" " Close the door." "We're gonna check in." "I'll come back." " Where did Mom and Dad go?" " I don't know." " Do you think there might be an afterlife?" " You know I'm an atheist and I know you are too." " You never was." " Agnostic." " I suppose." " And you suppose there's an afterlife for all the plants and animals too?" " I don't know." " Like Christopher Hitchens said," ""We can't lie to ourselves that we're any more important than any other living creature."" " You worship him." " He makes a lot of sense." " I'm not fully convinced." " What about the fact that the Universe, vast as it is, only has one known planet to support life?" "This goes against the notion that there is a creator because, if there was one, he certainly did not do a very good job fine tuning the Universe." " Yeah, well, Christopher Hitchens is dead." "I want to see Mom and Dad again." " Me too." " Do you think we will?" " I wish I could say, "we will."" "We're not leaving." " I figured." " You're too smart for me." " Hardly, you're just too patient." " I'm so sorry." " It's OK." "You get a free pass." " How did I get so lucky?" " It's been hard without Dad and Mom." "Their absence has caused a black hole which seems to be sucking the life out of me." "I remember the mornings before school." " Bye, Mom." " Bye." " Bye, Mom." " Bye, Honey." " Dad." " Yes?" " I understand how all the forces add up to zero now." " Good." "Go to sleep." "You need a sharp mind for tomorrow." " I'm gonna read over some more stuff before bed." " Really?" "Now?" " Yes." "Can I ask you another question?" " Sure." " How do you manage to stay up so late and get up so early every morning to work?" " Son, when you find a job that you love, you will never work a day in your life." " You should sleep already." " Just want to make sure I remember everything." " You will." " It's important." "The following month Dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer." "He died two years later." "The doctors said he put up a good fight, lived longer than they ever expected." "Mom?" " Yeah?" " I need to tell you something." " Sure." " Can you sit down?" " Sure." "OK, I'm all ears." " I'm not straight." " Oh, Honey, that's OK." " Really?" " Yes." " I never got the chance to tell Dad." " Oh, Honey, your Dad would not have cared either way." "He loved you so much." "It only matters that you find somebody to love." " Thanks, Mom." " Is there?" " Is there what?" " Someone special?" " No." " Good, 'cause you're too young." " It's OK." "It's OK, I'm here." "I'm here." "It's OK, Bae." " What if Mom and Dad know?" " How would they?" " What if they're in Heaven watching?" " Nate." " They'll be so ashamed of us." " There is no Heaven." " What if there is?" " Don't be silly." "Relax." "Go to sleep." " Can you please hold me until I fall asleep?" " Are you going to sleep soon?" " I don't know." " I don't know if I can." " You could just slip out as soon as I fall asleep." " Ray's still awake." " Please." " It's not a good idea." " OK." "Thanks for not leaving just yet." " You don't need to say that." " You're right, you should go." "Don't keep Ray waiting." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." " OK." " Thank you." " You're welcome." " Do you want to go get your brother?" " No, he's still sleeping." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." " It's lunch time." " I know." " Is it possible for someone to sleep more than 12 hours?" " If he only sleeps part of it." " Like most brothers," "Steven and I disagreed a lot but never to a point where we couldn't get back together." " What's wrong with doing your pre-med here?" "It's just pre-med anyway." " 'Cause my chances of getting into med school are higher if I do my pre-med at a good college." " He'll come visit during the holidays." " You do realize that Dad's prognosis is a year, right?" " Yes, Nate, I'm very aware of that." " Well, don't you want to be here?" " Kids, your dad just wants you to live your lives." " Let's eat dinner." " Nate loves you to death." " Literally." " Exactly." "Look." " They finally stopped fighting." " I think my perversion has reached a new level." " Why do you say that?" " I'm using Dad's cancer to keep you here." " Nate." " Yeah?" " I love you." " Will you always love me?" " Of course." " Even after you find someone?" " Regardless." " You will find someone, you know that, right?" " I don't." " It's college, everybody's looking." " We should go back inside before they suspect something." " OK." "Will you sleep in my bed tonight?" " Of course." " Hey, Trent." " Yeah, how are you doing, Steven?" " Gettin' by." "Come on in." " Thanks." " I'll get Nate for ya." " Is Jessica's knee still givin' her problems?" " Yes." "I've taken her off squats and lunges." " She loves 'em though." " She totally does." "She loves the pain." " Thank you for helping me out." "I should be back soon." " Don't worry about it." "Just take all the time that you need." " Thank you." " So, your brother's still in town?" " Yes." " Who's the other guy, huh?" " His boyfriend." " They make a cute couple." " Everything OK?" " Yeah." " Looks like something's goin' on there." " Looks like it." " That's a good thing, right?" " Yes, definitely." " Trent." " Yes?" " You are an amazing guy." " No." " You are." "You deserve a really good guy." " You think so?" " Yes." "Do you find any of the new trainers hot?" " Yes." " Do you flirt with any of them?" " You know the answer to that, Nate." "Stop playing games, OK?" " I'm not playing games." " What is this, then?" " I know we had sex." " I know, I was there." " Trent, it meant a lot to me." " Really?" " Yeah." " But you drew back." "There's no one here." " I can't." " You want to go back to my place?" " I can't." " You can't?" " No." " OK." " I'm sorry." " You have to give me more than that." "OK, what's going on?" "I love you, Nate." " Oh, Trent, please don't say that." " Why not?" "It's true." " Because I can't say it back." " How long you gonna make me wait for it?" " I don't know." " What's goin' on?" " Trent, I'm conflicted." " You're conflicted." " My heart wants one thing and my mind wants another." " Is there someone else?" " I never see him." "He lives out of state." " Where is he?" " Maryland." " Why didn't you tell me about him?" " I am really sorry." " You're really sorry?" " Trent." " I am such an idiot, right?" "I'll lock the gate." "Can you activate the alarm?" " OK." " You still in love with that guy?" " Yes." " You guy's together?" " No." " Who is he?" " I can't tell you." " Why?" " I can't say but please know that it's killing me." " It's killing me too." " I'm so sorry." " I'll still do anything for you." "That's how stupid I am." " I know I'll commit murder for you." " Well, that makes me happy." " I'm serious." " I know." " I'm glad you came." " Me too." "What's on your mind?" " My parents." " I'm sorry." " It's good memories." " They were pretty awesome, weren't they?" " Yes." "I miss them." " I'm sorry." " Thank you." "What's wrong?" " I know you're grieving and so am I but you need to start cleaning up after yourself." " That's what this is about?" " Yes." " Really?" " Yeah, there's a fine line between depression and laziness." "Good night." " G'night." "Go away." " Nate." " I'm not being lazy, I swear." " I know." "I overreacted." "Can you face me, please?" "Can't sleep?" "Maybe if you turned the lights off that would help." " Makes it worse." " OK." "Come here." " Come back to me." " Nate, we agreed about this." " But Mom and Dad are gone now." " But we still have relatives to face." "Uncle Larry, Susie." " Who cares about them?" " And what about our friends?" " I don't care." " You're not thinking properly." " I've never stopped loving you, Steven." " And I never stopped loving you." " Seems like you moved on though." " Ray?" "Nate, we're capable of loving more than one person in our life." "One day you'll have someone else and I'll be the one jealous." " Are you jealous of Trent?" " Should I be?" " We fucked." " Great." "Lube?" " Same place." " Do you want milk, Babe?" " No thanks." " So, any interesting news?" " Not really." "I think that's the earliest I've seen him up." " Nah, he might go back to bed." " Good morning." " Up already?" " Yes." " Good morning." " Good morning, how are you?" " Good, thanks for asking." "How are you?" " Sleepy." " You want to go back to bed?" " I think I'm fine." " What's your plan for today?" " Clean up the house." " I said it was fine." " No, I insist." " Babe, did you want to show me the sandwich shop you went to as a kid?" " He is a kid." " Shut up." " A big kid." " Yes, of course." " I look forward to it." " Sorry." " It's OK." " Should we go at noon?" " Sounds good." "I ate so much." "I need to go to the bathroom." " Go ahead." " Excuse me." " So, how was it?" " It never changes." " I told you so." " Miss you." "Nate, not here." " Want to go to our room?" " No." " Just cuddle?" " Nate, I really shouldn't." " Why not?" " Because of Ray." "I'm sorry." " You're sorry?" " Yes." " About what?" " About this." "About last night." " You're sorry about last night?" " Yes." " I'm not sorry." " You know what I mean." " I do but I honestly don't know how much longer" "I can bear it anymore." " What do you mean by that?" " What did I miss?" " Miss?" " That's what he said." " I was just clarifying." " Have a seat." "I'll tell you what you missed." " Sure." " Why don't you, Nate?" " Go ahead." " What did he miss?" " I, uh, can't recall." " For some reason, I can't either." " Did you two just get amnesia or something?" " When we get together we just talk randomly." " You can't remember what you just talked about?" " Do you have a brother?" " No." " Well, let me tell you this:" "When you have a brother, close to your age and you grow up together, he becomes the wall at which you bounce your racquetballs off." " I hear what you're sayin', Nate, but I'm not sure if Ray does." " I think I do." " It's someone you can challenge and be challenged by." "It's a boy thing." "Two boys challenging each other but in a good way." " Sounds good." " Sometimes I wish we weren't brothers." " I don't." " We could be together." " But how would I have survived elementary, middle and high school?" " I'm sure you would've been fine." " Wouldn't have had anyone to defend me against the bullies." " You were fierce in high school." "You defended me from the bullies." " They weren't bullies." " They were bitches." " Exactly." " Thanks for having me." " Take care of Steven for me." " You bet." " I'll call you when we land." " OK." " Bye." " Safe travels." " Hey, Babe, can you give me a minute?" " Shuttle's here." " I know, can you load my luggage please?" " OK." " Thanks." " I can't live without you." " I'm just a phone call away." " I miss you." " I've always missed you." " Babe." " I'll be right there." " OK." "Goodbye, Nate." " Bye." " I should go." " OK." " Steven called me later that day." "He told Ray everything but Ray was not surprised." "Ray went on to say that he would accept Steven's past on condition that Steven would not be intimate with me again." "Needless to say," "Steven told me that we absolutely needed to move on." " Goodbye." " Nine." "Eight." " Hey, Nate." " Hey, Jess." "You're early." " Well, you know, it happens." "I'm excited to see you." " Thank you." " Give me a hug." " Leaving?" " Yeah, my last client canceled." " Oh, I was going to ask you if you wanted to get dinner or something." " You're not done yet, are you?" " I can cancel." " No, you shouldn't do that." " That's true." "How are you?" " I'm OK." " So, after I left you," "I went and got my favorite dish in the whole world." "Yes, it's meatloaf from the same place." "I know you're sick of it." "You must be wondering why I've e-mailed you a video telling you my deepest, darkest secret." "Life has no purpose for me now." "Please forgive me." "I love you." " I was just in the neighborhood." "You OK?"