"UMEÅ, SWEDEN, 1994" "Stian?" "Stian, come here." "Do you like me, Stian?" "Really?" "OSLO, NORWAY, 2010" "Stian?" "Cut it out." "It's just so idyllic." "It can't get any better than this." "It just can't." " The barbecue'll be ready soon." " Do you know what I'm thinking about?" "I found it when I was cleaning." "Remember Umeå?" "The taekwondo camp?" "Robyn?" "Yes." "You kept going on about her from when you were 1 5 till you were 25." "Look at the photos." "They're fun." "All in the past." "I'm thinking of the future." "You know what the future holds?" "Meat!" "Cutlets, sausages, tenderloins ..." "Come on." "That must be Stine's ferry." "No more talk about girls." "We'll barbecue and have fun!" "Sorry, Stine called and asked me to pick her up." "But we'd planned this." "You promised." "We were going to watch the game." " Hi, Stine." " I've got beer, whiskey ..." " Sorry, I ..." " Beer and whiskey?" " Let's have some fun." " Okay, I'll have a sausage." "I'm on my way!" " I'm coming now." " Don't you want ketchup?" "Hi." "I'm sorry I got so mad." "It's just ..." "Don't worry about it." " You were unfair ..." " Shut up!" "It takes two to argue!" "I didn't mean to ..." "Did you have a nice trip?" "Drop it." "I really don't want to talk about it." "The boss was after me 24-7." "Late nights and early mornings." "I'm dead." "I have to sleep." "Don't wake me up until we're there." "This is Stian." "Don't you understand that I don't understand you?" "Do you understand Norwegian?" "You French frog-eater!" "Don't speak French." "It's rude." "Why didn't you wake me?" " You were sound asleep." " Have you seen my mobile?" " Are you okay?" " Yes, it's just the onions." " How do you like it?" " Maybe a bit too much onion?" "Too much onion, yes." "For you?" "I thought it was right up your alley." "For me, one onion's enough." "But for you, people like you, one onion isn't enough." "Two onions, three onions." "Some of us get sick if we have too much onion." "One should be enough." " Are you trying to use metaphors?" " I know about you and your boss." "What?" "Don't pretend you're innocent." "Business trip, my ass." "What does that chubby, fake-tanned character have that I don't have?" "You're so right." " What are you doing?" " I can't anymore." "Christ, Stian, we're not right for each other." "I might as well admit it." "I've cheated on you." "It's obvious that you don't bring out the best in me." "Let's talk about it." "Everyone keeps saying that we're such a good match." " What?" "Who says so?" " Everyone." "When I say my girlfriend's Stine, they say it goes well with Stian." " You're kidding, right?" " It's a good starting point." "Hey ..." " What about all the children?" " What?" " We haven't got any children." " But we talked about having some." "What about little Liv?" "Stine ..." "MUM AND DAD" "You understand her?" "She cheated on me!" "You should have done more housework." "Young women today demand equality." "How can you say that?" "I cook and do most of the housework." "You're just like your dad." "He also thinks he does a lot around the house!" " Isn't that so, Frank?" "Frank!" " Quiet!" "I'm watching the game!" "I thought girls wanted stability." "Why not go for a house and a family?" "Nobody wants to start a family with me." "What am I doing wrong?" "Maybe you take up too much space?" "Too much?" "You can be quite demanding." "I love you no matter what." "You're my little boy." "But I guess I don't really have a choice." "Anders!" "Welcome." "Come on in." "Frank?" "Anders is here." " Is it really true?" " Anders is here." " Wonderful!" " My Anders?" " Why is Anders coming to see you?" " Is the kettle on?" " Hello?" "Anybody home?" " We're in the kitchen!" "Come on in." " You really didn't have to ..." " No, but I wanted to." "And also a little something for me." "This guy really knows his liquor." "Stian, what are you doing here?" "These two old folks are my parents." " I thought you had a romantic date." " It's over." "Same, old story." "Let's not stand around and laugh." "We've got a game to watch." "Lager." " There's no room for me." " Shh, I can't hear ..." "Okay, find a partner." " You want to be my partner?" " Yes, okay." " What's your name?" "I'm Robyn." " Stian." "Do you think it'll be gibon donjak?" "I was pairing up with her." "I see." "Well, I can just ..." "Is it okay?" "I can ..." "It'll be good for him to meet new people." "You're really good." "It's the best doljo chagi I've seen this week." "Thanks." "You live here?" "And you?" "Oslo?" "Me and my friend are going to a pizzeria." "Would you like to join us?" "Get in line." " And the Porsche 911 you looked at?" " I've got one in the pipeline." "420 horsepower." "We're talking 19 inch rims ..." "Carbon spoilers." "You're not driving, you're flying." "It's one of our best customers, so I think I'll get a good price." "1.2 million kroner." "But it's run 10,000, so ..." " I bought a new car recently." " The Berlingo?" "We're talking about cars, not children's TV." "The Postman Pat joke again." "It's not funny." "It's the ultimate family car, dad." "What do you need a family car for?" "It's a really good car." "Don't you think so, Anders?" "Yes, it's an okay car." " You must admit it's a good car." " Yes, it's a good car." "Handy." " What's wrong with a Berlingo?" " It's handy ..." "It's a great car for families ..." "But it's not a vroooom, it's a putt putt ..." "Something just dawned on me." "Nobody cares about me, except myself." "Fucking, stupid Berlingo banger!" "Are you okay?" " Not funny." " It's not funny to be hit by a car." "Give me the keys before you cause any more accidents." " I'll drive you home." " I'm not going home." "Give me the keys or I'll tell mum and dad." "So ...." "Where are we going?" "I don't want to tell you." "I can't drive you if you don't tell me where you're going." "Okay." "You can come." "But first we'll buy some lager." "Right on!" "Now we're going to have some fun." "But I don't understand why we should go with the girls?" "We could sit at home and play Warhammer." "Let's meet the girls now." "We can play afterwards." " No more than half an hour." " Okay." "Don't make a fuss." " Do you like Umeå?" " No, not really." " Should we get going?" " Why don't we stay a little longer?" "But you promised." "Should we go night swimming?" "You want to come?" " We have other plans." " We'll be there." "I'll be there." "Anders?" "Anders, give me the keys so I can put this in the car." "Hey ..." " You nearly drove over me!" " I don't want you to come!" "I promised your mum and dad to look after you." "I'll keep my promise." " Tell me where you're going." " No." " Tell me where you're going, bore." " I'm not a bore!" "You are a pathetic, little,   desperately boring, wannabe family man." "No, I'm not!" "Don't hit me, or I'll hit you right back!" " Tell me where you're going, bore." " I'm not boring!" "And ..." "And I'm going to Umeå." "Why the hell are you going to Umeå?" "I thought I'd go and see Robyn." " You're not going to bloody Umeå." " Anders!" "Give me the keys!" "It'll be the end of you." "You were crushed." "Want to tear open that wound?" "You're so pessimistic." "That's why I didn't want to tell you." "You do know 20 years have passed?" "Does she know you're coming?" "No, she doesn't." "I know what you'll say." "But the fact that I found this letter .. ." "It must be destiny." " Destiny?" " Yes." "For Christ's sake!" "Okay." "You know what this means?" "Guy's trip." "I'm not letting you go to Umeå on your own." "But what about your job?" "You know my motto." "You must   invest as much in friendships as in relationships." "Maybe we'll end up in Stockholm." "I know lots of nice people there." "I'm looking for someone who understands me." "Something real I can build on." "Robyn and I had that kind of connection." "Anders?" " Where are you going?" " I just want to check where we are." "Can't we just drive on?" "THE HOUSE IN THE WOODS" " Stian?" "!" " Gina?" "Wonderful!" "And Anders!" "What a surprise." " Yes, what are the odds ..." " Well, come on in." "What are you up to?" "You planned this?" " I thought you liked Gina." " I did." "Ten years ago." " No way." " You tried to get with her in school." "Not after you pulled her." "No big deal." "She was pissed." " I didn't even penetrate her." " I was in love with her." "You had your chance later." "Or now." "I didn't want her later." "Or now." " Beer or wine?" " Beer." "Beer, beer, beer." "How nice of you to stop by." "We're going to ..." "Umeå to visit a lady   who dumped Stian 20 years ago." "It's only 16 years ago, and she didn't dump me." "No, maybe I got it wrong ..." "She stopped sending letters." "Maybe she just lost my address." "Oh, yeah." "It's all in the past." "For all you know she could be fat as a whale,   have four kids, be insanely jealous and paranoid ..." "I don't give a shit!" "That's a very interesting red line on the floor." "What's up with that?" "My brother Mads made it." "You know Mads, don't you?" "You played in a band with him for a while." "When we bought the house, we found it was on the border to Sweden." "This is the border." "Mads said that when you're in Sweden, you have to speak Swedish,   and you can't be sad." "No, no." " If you feel melancholic, you cross." " I think I belong in Norway, then." "Stian!" "Isn't it better to take a pint in Sweden than a lager in Norway?" " Come on." " It's much better." "Come on." "Okay, fine." "One pint in Sweden and then we move on." "Stine ..." "Hi." " Say hi from me." " I've been so stupid." " But I can take you back." " I don't really follow you." "Do I have to spell it out for you?" "If you're not here right away, it's over!" "Over!" "Then I guess it's over." " What?" "You're not coming?" " I've got stuff to do." " Can you come afterwards?" " I don't know." "We'll see." "You think anybody else wants you?" "If you don't come home right away, you can forget all about it!" "Everything's okay?" "Yes." " Come inside again." " I'm not good company right now." "So, because you were dumped again, you just want to stand here and sulk?" "Come and visit Sweden again." "How's your brother doing?" "Not so good." "He just got dumped as well." "You should go and say hi." "He's in the barn." "He would be really pleased." "You have something in common." "Your problems with the ladies." "Mads?" "Hi." "Remember me?" " Long time no see." " Indeed." "Wasn't that how it went?" " Good to see you." " You, too." " What are you doing here?" " It's a long story." "I got dumped by a bird and ..." "Well, I don't know." "Same here." "I've been through hell." "Can you do a gallows knot?" "I learnt it as a boy scout, but it's been a while." " I don't know if I ..." " You think I'm going to hang myself?" "It's an art project I'm working on." "But I must admit I've been bloody close a couple of times." "You want to come in and grab a beer?" "Yes." "Sure." "This can wait." "An hour or so won't make any difference in the long run." " We're ready to go to Sweden." " No, we don't want your type here." "Put on these." " Stand there." " What's at stake?" " What do you mean?" " If Stian wins, we'll go to Umeå." "No, we are going to Umeå." "You have to pass this test to go to Sweden." " Let the international game begin." " I go first." " Petter Northug." " I don't know this game." "Name a better player from Sweden." "Someone in sports." " Bjørn Borg!" " Brilliant!" " Okay." "A-ha." " Abba!" "Get out of here!" "We've been really kind until now, but now you're going to get a tough one." "Henrik Ibsen." "Can I ask Mads?" "Mads?" "Mads?" "We were wondering where you were." "I can see how you'd get the wrong idea,   but I'm just making a sandwich." "I'm hungry." "And then I cut myself." "I thought you were going to Umeå?" "You'll have to cross the border first." "Come on." " Last question." "It's really hard." " Border!" "The game with no boundaries!" "If I win, what do you lose?" "Then I have to sit in a Berlingo with Mr Boring for days on end." "Lillehammer, The Olympic Games, 1994." "You might as well pack it in." "It's a trick question." "Norway won a lot of gold in 94." "Sweden didn't." "But they interviewed the Swedish king, and he was pleased." "He reckoned they had more medals than us as they won gold in ice hockey!" "Correct!" "Welcome to Sweden!" "Yesterday there was a moose out here on the lawn." "You know I had a crush on you back then, right?" "I heard you were about to propose when she left you." " Show me the ring." " Why?" "Just for fun." "Okay." " It looks expensive." " Well, it sure wasn't cheap." " Why did you do that?" " To get on, you need to move forward." "Or you can go through the bushes and look for it." "Either we make up for lost time, or I go and get a flashlight." "Hey!" "There you are." "Mads took out his guitar." "Guitar party!" " Come in!" "Get inside!" " Can't you play some Jokke?" "The thing is, I found Mads in the garage with the car motor running." "He claimed he just needed the light, but the air was full of exhaust fumes." " He could've died." "He's desperate." " Are you coming, Stian?" "I play a couple of songs with Mads, and then I'm back." "You must be joking?" " Play one of your hits. "Big Town"." " Yeah, let's see if we remember it." "It's been ages." "I don't remember it." "Okay, I'll go and get a couple of lagers." " No, I don't stand a chance." " You remember this one." "I don't remember it." "I was talking to your sister and ..." " Are you okay?" " Yes, I'm fine." "Just go." "I can finish the job in the barn or in the garage." "Make a sandwich." " Just go." " Okay, one more song, then." "A minor, F, C, and the one up here." "I don't remember the name." "What happened between you and your girlfriend?" "It was really hard, actually." "We'd been together for about five years." "I'd been busy the last six months, and I thought she was upset." "But it was leap year and she proposed to me." "She fell down on her knees and proposed." "And I said yes." " You married?" " She arranged it." "I just had to show." "She married someone else?" "It was her revenge." "She'd felt neglected." " What about the guests?" " Mostly her family." " Only Gina, Anders and I didn't know." " Anders was there?" "I don't have that many friends, so I asked him to be my best man." " He agreed." " Does Anders come here often?" "Yes." "Where is Anders, by the way?" " Sorry." "Was it your plan to ...?" " No, never mind." " I'm going to Umeå no matter what." " You want to play one more?" " We can play all night." " This means so much to me." "Come on." "I didn't plan to be with Gina." "But you just seemed more interested in playing guitar with Mads." "We only played because you said that Mads . .." "Forget it!" "It's not important." "But why did you take me there?" "Why are you visiting these people?" "My mum and dad?" " You said it was okay." " Yes, but dad's sitting there . .." "It's not normal!" "It's insane!" "What would you say if I visited your mum?" "Mum would have liked that." "She's always asking how you're doing." "I stop by your mum and dad because I feel good there." "I feel right at home." "When I watch the game with your dad ..." " I thought you knew." " You'd clearly been there before." "I thought you knew." "Sorry." "It's not your fault." "Of course it's nice that you stop by." "I've just had a hard time with Stine and all that." "I know." " What are you doing?" " I'm allergic to the new detergent." "You've been overtaken by your decadent lifestyle, huh?" "I guess Gina'll be a little upset." " Didn't you use a rubber?" " I never do." "I'm not at all sure it's a venereal disease, but ..." " I must see a doctor." "Turn around." " You can see a doctor in Umeå." " Turn around." " No." "I really have to see a doctor." "It might be serious." "That whining belongs in Norway, doesn't it?" "Worst case scenario is sterility." "Not necessarily a bad thing." "Some genes shouldn't be passed on." " Sleep well." " Good night." "Here's the ice cream." " Thanks." " Here you are." "Did you see that, Anders?" "Anders?" " Anders?" " Right   get it out of his system ..." "It won't work." "I know that better than anyone." "Anders?" "So stop calling me, okay?" "I'm not interested anymore." "Bye." " How long have you been there?" " I just arrived." "What are you doing?" "Good question." "I had to take a piss and then I had to take a dump." "A bit of diarrhoea, and then it was just ..." "I don't need to hear the details." " I saw a moose." " Huh?" " Do you think it means something?" " Yes, that there are moose here." " Sorry." " Never mind." "It wasn't on purpose." "SWEET SWEDES" "The troll in Årgäng is the only Afro-American troll west of Pecos." "And it is extremely fond of pedicure." "I have to be honest." "This suit just isn't me." "You look fantastic." "Trust me." "Why should you look as if you're stuck in the nineties,   the time when you were dumped?" " Stine." " Answer it." " Talk to her." "I know you want to." " I don't know what I want anymore." "Talk to her." "Make up with her, and we can go home." "You'll regret it." " Answer it." "Come on, come on." " Then you can answer it." "Hello?" "Hi." "No, it's Anders." "Stian's also here." "But we're sitting in a car." "Stian didn't dare talk while driving." "He's afraid he'd get a fine." "I think he can pull over here." "Hang on." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Stian?" "It's Stine." "Hello!" " No, it didn't work." " Tell him to call me when he can." "Fine." "Bye-bye." " Gee, thanks!" " I said I didn't want to talk to her!" "Sorry, but I'm trying to help you." "Have a proper chat with her." "She seemed truly sorry." "I can't explain why I have to go to Umeå .. ." "But it's too late to turn back now." "I don't want to go home until I've met Robyn." "I wonder why she didn't answer my letters." "We had such a good time." "So since then I've tried with every girlfriend   to do everything just right so that they wouldn't dump me." "Let's go to fucking Umeå." "Stian!" "Is he still there?" "Stian!" "Where are you, Stian?" "Now I feel bad for him." "He's pestering you." "We need some time alone." "You're going home tomorrow." "Will you meet me tonight?" " Do you really find me boring?" " No, no." "But things change." "They did after Umeå." "Suddenly you were the cool one." "Not that again." "You're hung up about stuff that happened 20 years ago." "Maybe I should have acted differently back then." " You think it's too late to change?" " At our age, it's just ..." " Hand me a beer." " No, you're driving." " Come on, give me a beer." " No, you're driving." "Do I get that beer or not?" " You want me to ...?" " No." "What the ...?" "Fucking hell." " My teeth are icing over!" " You had it coming." "Cheers." "The new Stian gives hitchhikers a ride." "You're the Olsen Brothers, right?" "Lots of fun, huh?" "THE HITCHHIKER" " So where would you like to go?" " I don't really know." " Where are you going?" " Umeå." "Why not?" " Why are you going to Umeå?" " Stian, he . .." "Come on." "It's a sweet story." "Stian's going to see a bird who dumped him 20 years ago." "He must enjoy pain." " Thanks, Anders ..." " Cool." "I find it quite sweet." "No thanks." "My stomach can't take it." " This isn't the Stian I know." " Then I'm on the right track." "Hear, hear." "You shouldn't always be so bloody sensible." "Are you Ragtag and Bobtail?" "Blues Brothers on a mission from God?" "More or less." "You think this is a joke?" "You should be more careful." "You don't know us." "We might be dangerous." "You ought to be afraid of two strange men in the night." "No, actually it's you two who ought to be afraid of me." "Stian, is it smart of you to drink?" "You've been drinking a lot and you're driving." "It's not smart." " Don't be such a party pooper, Fatty." " Don't call me Fatty!" "I'm not at all fat." "And it's him who's the party pooper." "Not me." "He's the fucking boring Berlingo man." "If it bothers you, then send him back to me and the booze.You can drive." "Sounds like a good plan." "You're taking the wheel?" "For fuck's sake!" "Jesus Christ!" "He almost hit us." "I'll call you Tiger." "Don't wear the same clothes as Fatty." "Now you look good, Tiger." "I can't drive anymore." "I could lose my license." "I don't have a license to lose." "I can drive." "If I wasn't on my way to Robyn's, this would be an anticlimax." " Can you slow down a bit?" " Don't be a back-seat driver." " What was that all about?" " Check it out." "We must go out and have a look." " This must be total happiness." " True bliss." "Stop!" "Hey!" "Stop!" "I like you." "You're a nice guy." "But don't run after the girls, they'll just run from you." " Stop the car!" " Hey!" "Stop!" "Okay, now we've got nothing." "We're not completely empty-handed." " Are those her panties?" " Yes." "It's not bloody funny." "No." "No." "At least we won't enter Umeå in a Berlingo." "If we're lucky, we'll catch a ride with a Jaguar." "The way we look, we'll be lucky if we get a Berlingo." "We're going to Umeå." " Where are you going?" " Let's find a place to stay." "Are there any hotels in that direction?" "This looks nice." "Here?" "No, we're not staying here." "What do you mean?" "It looks really good." "It's not really that central." "There must be a better one if we go on." "Hello." " Why did he say hello to you?" " To us." "You know, "Sweet Swedes"." "If you leave Stockholm, Swedes are the nicest people in the world." "But the thing is, if you hook up with Robyn ..." "Take her back to the hotel." " I just want it to be perfect." " I appreciate that." "Good." "Hotel, this way." "Hi." "Impressive that you remember it, but I think it was hipper 16 years ago." "Don't judge a book by its cover." "It's fine inside." "Shouldn't we look at one of the others?" "Apparently not ..." "Let's get some sleep, a shower, and then we'll find Robyn tomorrow." " Ready to play detectives?" " Sounds like a good plan." "Good night." "I couldn't sleep so I got busy." "Guess what." " I've found Robyn!" " No ..." "Is it really true?" " And?" "What does she look like?" " I only know where she lives." "The most important thing is that you don't just go there." " That was your plan?" " Yes." " What is needed for detective work?" " A detective?" "Real tools are everything." "I look like a mad version of Mario." "Don't you need a disguise?" " What's going on?" " It was her." "Robyn." "Hand me the binoculars." "What do you see?" "These binoculars are really terrible." "I can just make out a house." "Out of focus." "I can see that without binoculars." " She's going in the house!" " Are you sure?" "I think so." "But she's dyed her hair." "I'll ring the door bell." "Hey, Super Mario." "That beard is just you." "Stian!" "How wonderful to see you!" " Do you recognize me?" " Yes." "You've always been in my thoughts." "Do you remember Anders from back then?" " Hi." " Hi, Robyn." "You look good." "Thanks." "I'm the fifth wheel on this wagon, so I'm out of here." "Are you hungry?" "Should we go grab a bite to eat?" "Let me just get my purse." "This is just so unreal." "To see you again after so many years." "That I've been in your thoughts ..." "I must admit that a part of me never stopped thinking of you." "I've been thinking a lot about you the past couple of days." "That's so sweet." "I had made up a bad story." "We just happened to be here, but ..." "So ..." "But two days ago, my girlfriend Stine and I broke up." " So .. ." " But . .." "Are you gay?" "Excuse me?" "No, my girlfriend's named Stine." " I thought that your name was Stine." " No, my name's Stian." "My ex-girlfriend's named Stine." "We thought our names matched." "Stine and Stian." "I thought it was funny." "But then I came across some pictures from the good old days." "Have you decided on the food?" "I'll just have a Long Island Iced Tea." " Don't you want to eat?" " No." "Okay, I'll take the same if that's okay with you." "Fine." "And two shots." "Turkish pepper." " Okay?" " Okay." "I promise I'll be the perfect gentleman." "Take care." "I've just ..." "You know what?" "Funny that you recognized me." "I would never have recognized you." " I hope I haven't disappointed you." " You're everything I've dreamed of." "Why didn't you answer my letters?" "I lost your address." " I don't do anal." "Don't even try." " Okay." "It'll be all right." "Robyn?" " Hey." " So .. ." " How did it go yesterday?" " It went well." "Fabulous." "Ace!" "You deserved that." "So now we can go home." "I want to see her again, have a relationship ..." "Are you out of your mind?" "Now she's out of your system." " Are you doing all right?" " I'm sure I'm fine." "I booked some plane tickets." "If I don't go home, I'll lose my job." "Just go." "I'll be fine." "I can call you afterwards." "I feared it would end like this." "Don't ruin your life." "Think it over." "There's someone I want you to meet." "Hi." "I'd like you to come in now." "What's going on?" " Weren't you yelling it was over?" " I just got so scared." "Scared of losing you and ..." "You look good, by the way." "Different." " I look like Anders." " It's not just that." "You look like the guy I fell in love with." "The guy I would like to marry." "Have a child with." "Why do you want me all of a sudden?" "What's changed?" "I know that I ..." "lose my temper sometimes." "But I really believe that the two of us have a future." "I heard about Robyn." "It's actually quite romantic." "And stupid." "Because we have something to build on." "I've missed you like crazy the past couple of days." "I've realized how lucky I am to have a boyfriend who is so   simple and straightforward like you." "Give me one more chance." "I promise you won't regret it." "I can   scratch your back each night and that other thing you like so well." "Please!" "Okay . .." "Sorry." "No ..." "I just have to ..." "So it wasn't your boss after all." "What ..." "What about little Liv?" "Fuck little Liv!" "Stian!" " Where have you been?" " Robyn and I ..." "I figured as much." "Didn't we plan to hang out together?" "Sorry, I just ..." " I don't know what to do." " About what?" " She wants to meet me tonight." " It's against the rules." "And why?" "She wants me to sneak out." "I think she's ready for ..." "Ready for what?" " Oh ..." "Are you ready?" " I really, really like her." "She asked me to go with her to language school in Bournemouth." "I see." "Cool." "Yes, but .. ." "I'm just very nervous." "I think I know what you need." "If you want to see the house, call the agent." "The number's on the sign." " What about Robyn who lived there?" " It's been empty for ages." "An old lady lived there before." " Robyn Lindström." " Hi." "Robyn?" "Are you an estate agent?" "I thought you said you were a waitress?" "What is this?" "I just wanted to call you and say I had a great night." "Excuse me." "Who is this?" "It's me." "Stian." " Stian?" " I'm standing outside your house." " You're standing outside my house?" " Hello?" "Hello?" "Great." "That's just what I needed:" "the friend from hell." "She wasn't good for you." "I couldn't let you ruin your life." "I just had to do something." "So you helped me?" "By fucking my girlfriend?" " Well, what's wrong with that?" " If I hadn't, you wouldn't be here." "It wasn't even that good." "I don't want to see you anymore." "I regret it." "I shouldn't have done it." "But the two of us have a long history." "And it's getting worse and worse." "I'll take this taxi." "Stian, wait." "Okay ..." " Just hit me." "Hit me." "Come on." " No thanks." "Okay, then I'll hit myself." "Because I deserve to be hit." "Anders, stop it." "Anders!" "What are you doing?" "What do I do about Robyn?" "I just don't understand it." "We had such a good time yesterday." "Today she acts as if nothing happened." "Maybe she just needed to get it out of her system." "It might be a cultural factor." "Let's put it all behind us and get out of Umeå." " Something's just not right." " I'm sure there's a good explanation." "She's an estate agent so she had to go and show someone a house." " An estate agent who's a waitress?" " You're thinking like a Norwegian." "In countries with no oil, like Sweden, people need two jobs to survive." "Just look at the USA." "You're probably right." " It's probably just me." " The boss'll be ..." "Stop the car!" "Stop here!" "Hi, Robyn." "Hi." "Get lost." "I don't know who you are." "What?" "My mother's in there." "She doesn't know what I do." " Don't look!" " She doesn't know you're an agent?" "Please!" "We had a great time." "Why are you acting like you don't know me?" "Don't you get it?" "I'm not your Robyn." " I got paid." " Paid?" "Who paid you?" "Anders!" "THE REAL ROBYN" "I can't believe you bought me a hooker." "I prefer to call her a glamour model." "I did a bit of research." "And I found that the real Robyn   is married and has a child." "I was scared that you would get terribly disappointed." "So I arranged all of this." "I know it was stupid of me." "You did it all for me?" "I don't agree with what you did, but you meant well." "You were   just trying to help you." "So can we go home now?" "You know what?" "Now that I'm here I want to meet Robyn, married or not." " No!" " Why not?" " I got a concussion." "I must ..." " Go to the emergency room." "See you." "Hi, I'd like the number for Robyn Lindström in Umeå." " How did you get it?" " It wasn't cheap, I can tell you." " That is just what I need right now." " You would've done the same for me." "Down the hatch." "A couple more of those and ..." "Hi." "It's me." "Stian." " You called me at work?" " It was a misunderstanding." "But I was just in the neighbourhood, so I thought I'd just ..." " Well ..." " Well." "I don't know if you remember me." "It's Stian from the taekwondo camp." "Yes, I know." "This is Robert, my husband." "Stian is an old childhood friend." " Hi." "I'm Robert." " Hi." " You remember Anders?" " Everything's okay here?" "Yes, it's fine." "You remember Robyn?" "And her husband." "Hi." "Hi, Robyn." " Well ..." " Well ..." " Stian ..." " So maybe we'd better get ..." "Did you want to say anything, Robyn?" "No, nothing." "Well, we'd better get going." "It's a long way home." "But it was nice seeing you two." "Great to see you again, Robyn." " Have a safe journey." " Safe journey." "Wait." "Something's not right." "If something's not right, we can work it out when we're home." "Hey!" "Mum didn't say you were coming." "How long are you staying?" "Hold on." " Look." " Orange!" "Good God ..." " Stian!" " Anders!" "Leave him alone." "Stian Johansen: seventh cup." "Congratulations." "You're really good." "You can make it far." "You can make it far." " Hi." " Hi." "Are you Anders' son?" "What kind of dad is he?" "He's not so much a dad as a friend." "But I guess you know what he's like." "Yes." "Mum would like to have a word with you." "Is that all right?" "Yes." "It's strange." "I'm both angry and embarrassed   because I ran." "I guess I was more mature when I was 15." "I give you my word that I had no idea what Anders was up to." "He wanted to borrow a house so he could play a joke on a friend." "I didn't know it was you." "He called me right after you called me." "Why do you and Anders have a child?" "I want you to know that I was madly in love with you." "I waited for you that night." "I had never been with a boy before." "I had decided that you should be the one who ..." " And then you never showed." " No, I didn't." "Why not?" "I don't know." "I was afraid that I wouldn't live up to your expectations." "So Anders and I drank some booze." "I needed liquid courage." "I got drunk,   vomited, fell asleep ..." "Well ..." "Anders didn't fall asleep." "He gave me the impression that you weren't really into me." "Then you left, and we started writing together." "And I thought maybe it didn't matter." "The thing with Anders." "I thought I could just forget it." "But then I found out I was pregnant." "That's why you stopped writing?" "It wasn't me?" "It had nothing to do with you whatsoever." "But I didn't want an abortion." "It wasn't easy being a teenage mum." "But Magnus is the best thing that happened to me." "I want you to know that I often think about that kiss." " You don't have to ..." " Yes." "It was so pure, so innocent." "It's a moment that I'll treasure forever." "You remember this?" "My God!" "Have you kept this all these years?" "If I hadn't got pregnant with Anders, I'd never given him a second thought." "But I could never forget you." "So now you know." "Do you want to marry me?" "I'm joking." "I couldn't help myself." "Normally, I have a ring and I get down on my ..." "It was so nice to see you again." " Who is it?" " It's me." " Do you want anything?" " No." "Say something." "Why didn't you say anything?" "I would probably have been a bit upset, but come on ..." "I don't know." "Maybe I was afraid you'd be jealous." "You practically raped her." "Why should I be jealous?" " Stian, it's ..." " Anders." "After Umeå, everything changed." "I lost weight and started doing okay with the ladies." "I was afraid I'd lose it all again." "I can change." "Just give me a chance." "I can change." "You have to invest as much in friendships as in relationships." "I'll give it my all." "All!" "Just give me one more chance." "I'm not buying it, Anders." "I'm just not buying it." "Come here." "Come here." "Don't tell your mum and dad about this, okay?" "Subtitles:" "Malene Hollnagel Scandinavian Text Service 2011"