"Got room for one more?" "Who the hell are you?" "!" "And what happened to them?" "Name's Major Marquis Warren, former U.S. Cavalry." "Currently a servant of the court." "Trying to bring a couple no-goods into market." "Got the paperwork on 'em in my pocket." "You takin' 'em into Red Rock?" "Figure that's where you headed, right?" "I am." "That damn blasted blizzard has been on our ass for the last three hours." "There ain't no way we gonna make it all the way to Red Rock" " 'fore it catches us." " So you hightailin' it halfway, to Minnie's Haberdashery?" "You know I am." "May I come aboard?" "Well, smoke, if it up to me, yes." "But it ain't up to me." "Who's it up to?" "Fella in the wagon." "Fella in the wagon ain't partial to company?" "Fella in the wagon, he paid for a private trip, and I'm here to tell you, he paid a pretty penny for privacy." "So if you want to go to Minnie's with us, you gonna have to talk to him." "Well... that's what I'll do." "Hold it, black fella." "'Fore you approach, you take them two guns of yours and you lay 'em on that rock over yonder." "Then you raise both your hands way above your hat." "Then you approach." "Molasses-like." "Real trusting' fella?" "Not so much." "Put 'em down." "Come on ahead." "I said way above your hat, goddamn it!" "Now come forward." "That's far enough." "Well, I'll be dogged." "You a black fella I know." "Colonel somethin'-or-other Warren, right?" "Major Marquis Warren." "I know you, too." "We, shared a steak dinner once upon a time in Chattanooga." "You John Ruth The Hangman." "That'd be me." "How long's that been?" "Since that steak?" "Eight months." "So why don't you explain to me what a African bounty hunter's doin' wandering' around in the snow in the middle of Wyoming?" "Trying to get a couple of bounties in to Red Rock." "So you still in business?" "You know I am." "Happened to your horse?" "Circumstances caused us to have to take the long way round." "My horse couldn't make it." "You don't know nothin' 'bout this filly here." "Nope." " Don't even know her name?" " Nope." "Well, I guess that makes this one fortuitous wagon." "I sure as hell hope so." "Major Marquis Warren, this here's Daisy Domergue." "Domergue, to you this is Major Warren." "Howdy, nigger." "She's a pepper, ain't she?" "Now, girl, don't you know the darkies don't like being called niggers no more?" "They find it offensive." "I been called worse." "Now, that I can believe." "You never heard of her?" "Should I?" "Well, she ain't no John Wilkes Booth, but maybe you might heard tell about the price on her head." " How much?" " $10,000." "Damn." "What'd she do, kill Lily Langtry?" "Not quite." "That ten thousand's practically in my pocket." "It's why I ain't too anxious to be handing' out rides, especially to professionals open for business." "I can certainly appreciate that." "But I ain't got no designs on her." "One of my fellas over there is worth $4,000, another one's worth $3,000, and one of 'em's worth $1,000." "That's damn sure good enough for me." "Well..." "let me see their paperwork." "Like I said, molasses-like." "Back off." "Look, I sure hate to interrupt you all, but we got a cold damn blizzard that's hot on our ass that we're tryin' to beat to shelter!" "I realize that!" "Now, shut your mouth and hold them damn horses while I think!" "Okay, boy, we'll give it a try." "But you leave them two pistols over yonder with the driver." "Hey, you ain't really gonna let that nigger ride in here, is ya?" "I mean, maybe up there with O.B., but..." "How ya like the sound of them bells, bitch?" "They real pretty, ain't they?" "You open up your trashy mouth again," "I'll knock out them front teeth for ya." "You got it?" "Yeah." "Let me hear ya say, "I got it."" "I got it." "I'm gonna need a hand tyin' these fellas up on the roof." "Give O.B. $50 when we get to Red Rock." "He'll help ya." "Well, I agree with O.B." "This storm got me concerned." "We get goin' a lot quicker you helped out, too." "Goddamn it to hell, I'm already regretting' this." "Now, I can't likely help you tie fellas to the roof with my wrist cuffed to hers." "And my wrist is gonna stay cuffed to hers, and she ain't never gonna leave my goddamn side till I personally put her in the Red Rock jail!" "Now, do you got that?" "!" "Yeah, I got it." "Good." "So, what happened to your horse?" "He was kinda old." "I done had him for a bit." "When the weather took a turn for the worse, well, he done what he could, but he couldn't make it." " That's too bad." "Yeah, it is." "Me and ol' Lash done rode a lot of miles together." "Could say he was my best friend, if I considered stupid animals friends, which I don't." "Nevertheless, I'm gonna miss him." "Who's this Daisy Domergue?" "A no damn good murdering bitch, that's who." "I see you ain't got mixed emotions about bringing a woman to a rope." "By "woman," you mean her?" "No, I do not have mixed emotions." "So you taking her into Red Rock to hang." "You bet." "You gonna wait round to watch it?" "You know I am." " Come on!" " I want to hear her neck snap with my own two ears." "You never wait to watch 'em hang?" "My bounties never hang, 'cause I never bring 'em in alive." " Never?" " Never ever." "We talked about this in Chattanooga." "Bringing desperate men in alive's a good way to get yourself dead." "Can't catch me sleeping if I don't close my eyes." "I don't want to work that hard." "No one said the job is supposed to be easy." "No one said it's supposed to be that hard, neither." "But that, little lady, is why they call him "The Hangman."" "When the handbill says "dead or alive,"" "the rest of us shoot ya in the back from up on top of a perch somewhere, bring ya in dead over a saddle." "But when John Ruth The Hangman catches ya, you don't die from no bullet in the back." "When The Hangman catches you, you hang." "You overrate him, nigger." "I give ya he got guts, but in the brains department, he like a man who took a high dive in a low well." "Now, Daisy," "I want us to work out a signal system of communication." "When I elbow you real hard in the face, that means "shut up."" "You got it?" "I got it." "I know we only met each other the once before, and, I don't mean to unduly imply intimacy..." "But, well..." "You still got it?" "Do I still got what?" "The Lincoln letter." "Course." "Got it on ya?" " Where?" " Right here." "Look, I know you got to be real careful with it and all, and I can imagine you probably don't like taking it in and out of the envelope all that often, but..." "If you wouldn't mind, I'd sure appreciate seeing that again." "You're right." "I don't like taking it in and out" " of the envelope that much." " I..." "Yeah." " But..." "Seeing's how you saved my life and all..." "I suppose I could let you read it again." ""Ole Mary Todd's calling, so I guess it must be time for bed."" "Ole Mary Todd." "Well, that..." "That gets me." "Yeah, it gets me, too." "You know what this is, tramp?" "It's a letter from Lincoln." "Letter from Lincoln to him." "Yeah." "They shared a correspondence during the war." "They was pen pals." "And this is just one of the letters." "What the..." "O.B.!" "Stop!" "Whoa." "Easy." "All the stupid..." "Like to rip my goddamn arm off!" "I didn't drag her stinking ass up this goddamn mountain just for you to break her neck on the outskirts of town!" "You the one handed her my goddamn letter!" "I didn't give it to her," "I give it to you!" "That nigger like to bust my jaw." "You ruin that letter of his, that nigger gonna stomp your ass to death." "And when he do, I'm gonna sit back on that wagon wheel, watch and laugh!" "How is it?" "Well, she ain't help it none." "But it's all right." "Is that the way niggers treat their ladies?" "You ain't no goddamn lady!" "Hey, Mr. Ruth!" "What?" "There's another fella on foot up here on the road." "Hey!" "What?" "!" "I said there's another fella on foot, up here on the road." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Considering there's a blizzard going on, whole lot of fellas walking around, wouldn't you say, Major?" "Well, seeing as how I'm half of them fellas, yeah, seems to be a lot of us." "This changes things, son." "$8,000 a lot of money for a nigger." "With a partner, 18's a whole lot better." "You really think I'm in cahoots with that fella, or her?" "!" "Put them on." "I ain't wearing no handcuffs." "You put those on, or you can stop worrying about this whole thing right now!" "Hand your weapons to the driver." "Little jumpy, ain't you?" "Never mind the jokes." "Just do it." "If you say so." "I do." "Okay." "I done done it." "O.B., you got 'em?" "I got 'em." "Okay, fella." "You keep holding that lantern in that one hand, and you keep that other hand where I can see it." "Walk over there where I can get a good look at ya." "Well, I'll be a goddamn dog in a manger." "Is that you, Chris Mannix?" "I'm sorry, friend, do we know each other?" "Not quite." "You know this fella?" "Only by reputation." "Like I said, friend, you got me at a bit of a disadvantage." "Keeping you at a disadvantage is an advantage I intend to keep." "Whoever you are, mister, you sure sound tough when you talking to a desperate man knee-deep in snow." "I don't want no trouble." "I just want a ride." "I'm freezing to death!" "Who is this joker?" "You heard of the rebel renegade Erskine Mannix?" " Mannix's Marauders?" " That's them." "Scourge of South Carolina, Mannix's Marauders." "It's Erskine's youngest boy, Chris." "Brings you in my path, Chris Mannix?" "Well, Mr. Face, I was riding to Red Rock, my horse stepped in a gopher hole in the snow, fucked up his leg, had to put 'er down." "You got business in Red Rock?" " Yes, I do." " What?" "I'm the new sheriff." "Horseshit." " 'Fraid not." " Where's your star?" "Well, I ain't the sheriff yet." "Now, once I get there, they swear me in." "But, that ain't happened yet." "And-and that's when you get your star." "You got anything that can back any of this up?" "Yeah." "When we get to Red Rock." "And-and from the look of those three frozen fuckers up there," "I-I figure you a bounty hunter open for business." "And I figure you taking them three dead bodies into Red Rock to get paid?" "Three dead." "One alive." "Who's that?" "Daisy Domergue." "Who the fuck is Daisy Domergue?" "Not a goddamn thing to nobody, except me and the hangman." "The hangman?" "Well, I'll be double-dog damned." "You're "The Hangman" Bob Ruth!" "It's John." "And you!" "You're the nigger with the head!" "Major Marquis!" "My Lord, is that really the real head of Major Marquis looking at me now?" "Yeah, it's really me, and it's really my head." "So what's going on?" "Y'all having a bounty hunters' picnic?" "Never mind." "You taking them three dead bodies and-and hurrying to Red Rock to get paid, ain't you?" "Yeah." "Well, the man in Red Rock's supposed to pay you is me, the new sheriff." "So if y'all want to get paid, y'all need to get me to Red Rock." "Well, excuse me for finding it hard to believe a town electing you to do anything except drop dead." "So I'm supposed to freeze to death 'cause you find something hard to believe?" "No, I suppose not." "Put them on and come inside." "No." "Then you'll freeze." "Then you'll hang." "How so?" "Stagecoach driver, could you come down here and join us?" "I got to hold these horses." "I can hear you just fine from up here." "Well, you just heard me tell this fella" "I'm the new sheriff of Red Rock, right?" "Yeah." "Red Rock is my town now." "And I'm gonna enter my town in bounty hunter's chains?" "No, sir!" "Sorry, bushwhackers," "I ain't entering Red Rock that way." "Now, when you finally get to Red Rock, you gonna realize every goddamn thing I said was right." "And I expect you, O.B., to tell the townsfolk of Red Rock that John Ruth let their new sheriff freeze to death." "Ain't no bounty on my head, bushwhacker." "You let me die, that's murder." "Hold out your hands." "O.B.!" "Give the major back his iron." "One thing I know for sure, this nigger-hating son of a gun ain't partnered up with you." "Now, I'll help you protect your 8,000, you help me protect my ten." "Deal?" "Well, ain't love grand?" "Y'all want to lie on the ground and make snow angels together?" "Come on!" "Well, I'll tell you what, Bob." "The name's John." "When we get to Red Rock, I'll buy you and Major Marquis there dinner and booze." "My way of saying thanks." "I don't drink with rebel renegades, and I damn sure don't break bread with them." "Well, Mr. Ruth..." "You sound like you got a axe to grind against the Cause." ""The Cause" of a renegade army?" "Bunch of losers gone loco." " You bet I do." "You wrapped yourselves up in a rebel flag as an excuse to kill and steal." "And this ought to interest you, Warren." "Imparticular, emancipated blacks." "Sounds like my kind of fella." "Sound to me you been reading a lot of newspapers printed in Washington, D.C." "Anywho, I'm just trying to let y'all know how grateful I am." "I was a goner." "And y'all saved me." "You want to show me how grateful you are?" "Shut up." "Goddamn it, Daisy." "It's coming." "Here." "Last piece." "Does he know..." "Does he know how famous you once was?" "I don't think so." "Black Eye." "Do you know who he is?" "Do I know about the $30,000 reward the Confederacy put on the head of Major Marquis?" "Come on now, boys!" " Yeah." "Them hillbillies went nigger head-hunting." " They just never did get 'em the right nigger head, did they?" "No, they didn't." "But it wasn't for lack of trying." "Them peckerwoods left their homes and families, and come up this snowy mountain looking for me and fortune." "Ain't none of 'em found fortune." "The ones you ain't never heard of no more, they found me." "Now, it didn't stay $30,000 the length of the war." "Once passions cooled, it dropped down to eight, then five." "But I bet even when it was 5,000, you had your share of country boys coming to call." "You know I did." "Why'd they have a reward on you?" "Confederates took exception to my capacity for killing 'em." "And after I broke out of Wellenbeck, well, the South took my continued existence as a personal affront." "And the Cause put a reward on my head." "What's, Wellenbeck?" "You ain't never heard of Wellenbeck prisoner of war camp, West Virginia?" "No, reb, I ain't never heard of it." " Did you bust out?" "Major Marquis did more than bust out." "Major Marquis had a bright idea." "So bright, you got to wonder why nobody never thought about it before." "Tell John Ruth your bright idea." "Well, the whole damn place was just made out of kindling." "So I burnt it down." "There was a rookie regiment spending overnight in the camp." "47 men burnt to a crisp." "Southern youth, farmers' sons," "Cream of the crop." "And I say, "Let 'em burn."" "I'm supposed to apologize for killing Johnny Reb?" "You joined the war to keep niggers in chains." "I joined the war to kill white Southern crackers." "And that means killing 'em any way I can." "Shoot 'em, stab 'em, drown 'em, burn 'em, drop a big ol' rock on their head." "Whatever it took to put white Southern crackers in the ground, that's what I joined the war to do." "And that's what I did." "To answer your question, John Ruth, when Major Marquis burned 47 men alive, for no more reason than to give a nigger a run for the trees, that's when the South put a reward on the head of Major Marquis." "And I made them trees, Mannix." "You best believe I ain't looked back till I crossed the Northern line." "But you had a surprise waiting for you on the Northern side, didn't you?" "See, once they started pulling out all them burnt bodies at Wellenbeck, seems not all them boys were rebs." "Why, you burn up some of your own boys, didn't you, Major?" "How many burnt prisoners they end up finding?" "Wasn't the final Yankee death count something like 37?" "That's the thing about war, Mannix." "People die." "So you gonna chalk it up to "war is hell,"" "Well, admittedly, that is a hard argument to argue with." "But if memory serves, your side didn't look at it that way." "I think they thought 37 white men for one nigger wasn't so hot a trade." " I do believe they accused you" "Of being a kill-crazy nigger who only joined the war to kill white folks, and the whole blue and gray of it all really didn't matter that much to you." "And that's why they drummed your black ass out of the cavalry with a yellow stripe down your back." " Isn't it, Major?" "Horseshit!" "If he'd have did all that, the cavalry would've shot him." "Well, I didn't say they could prove it." "But they sure did think it out loud, didn't they, Major?" "But Warren's war record was stellar, and that's what saved his ass." "Now, you killed yourself your share of redskins in your day, didn't you, Black Major?" "Cavalry tends to look kindly on that." "I'll tell you what the cavalry didn't look kindly on." "Mannix's Marauders, that's what." "And the fact that Erskine Mannix's little boy would talk about anybody else's behavior during war time makes me want to horse-laugh." "Don't you say anything about my daddy." " What he fought for was dignity in defeat," "And against the unconditional surrender." "We weren't foreign barbarians pounding on the city walls." "We were your brothers." "We deserved dignity in defeat." "Just how many nigger towns did y'all sack in your fight for dignity in defeat?" "My fair share, Black Major." "'Cause when niggers are scared," "That's when white folks are safe." "You gonna talk that hateful nigger talk, you can ride up top with O.B." "No." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no." "You done got me talking politics." "I didn't want to." "Like I said, y'all, I'm just happy to be alive." "I think I'll scoot over here right by this window, and let this beautiful carriage rock me to sleep." "And dream about how lucky I am." "What the hell is going on?" "We weren't expecting another stage tonight!" "Yeah, I can see you already got another one up in here." "Just got through putting the horses away." "Well, this ain't the normal line, but we are stuck on the wrong side of a blizzard, so it looks like you're stuck with us." "Are Minnie and Sweet Dave inside?" "They ain't here." "I'm running the place while they're gone." "Where's Minnie and Sweet Dave?" "He says they ain't here." "He's looking after the place while they're gone." "Who are you?" "I'm Bob." "Well, whoever you are, help O.B. with the horses." "Come on." "Get 'em out of this cold 'fore that blizzard hits us." "Whoa." "You all right?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" "Esperate, esperate, esperate!" "I just put those other horses away." "You need it done fast, you need to help." "I got two of my best men on it." "You heard him, freeloaders." "Get to work!" "All right, you two, unhook the leaders." "Come on, let's go." "Open up!" " You have to kick it open!" " Ya got to kick it open!" "What?" "Kick it open!" "Shut that door." "There's a goddamn blizzard out there!" "You have to stop, close the door!" "You got to nail it shut." "You have to, you have to nail it shut!" "Hold it shut!" "There's a hammer and nails by the door!" "You have to nail it shut!" "There's a hammer and nails by the door." " Give me a hammer." " Yeah." "You need, you need two pieces of wood!" "You need two pieces of wood!" "One ain't good enough!" "Two pieces of wood!" "The fuckin' thing is busted!" "Not just one piece of wood!" "Give me another piece of wood." "Yeah." "All right." " I need a nail." " Here." "Jesus." "That door's a son of a gun." "Who's the idiot who broke that, that Mexican fella?" "Good heavens." "A woman?" "Out in this white hell?" "You must be frozen solid, poor thing." "Looks like Minnie's got her a full house." "When did you fellas arrive?" "About 40 minutes ago." "That cowboy fella in the corner," " that your driver?" " No, no, he's a passenger." "The driver lit out." "Said he was going to spend the blizzard shacked up with a friend." "Lucky devil." "Jesus Christ, that's awful!" "Christ Almighty, what'd that Mexican fella do, soak his old socks in a pot?" "Yes..." "I-I think we all felt the same way, but were a little too polite to say something." " He don't have that problem." " Shit." "Where's the well water?" "Over there." "So, all three of you fellas headed to Red Rock when the blizzard stopped you?" "Yes." "All three of us were on that stagecoach out there." "Coffee beans." "Over there." "Get your hand out of there." "New sheriff of Red Rock's traveling' with us." "Sheriff of Red Rock, that'll be the day." "He's a goddamn sheriff, I'm a monkey's uncle." "Good." "Then you can share bananas with your nigger friend in the stable." "So, the new sheriff of Red Rock is traveling with you?" "He's lying." "He ain't sheriff of nothin'." "He's a Southern renegade." "He's just talking hisself out of freezing to death is all." "What the fuck I tell you about talking?" "I'll bust you in the mouth right in front of these people." "I don't give a fuck!" "You never gave your name, sir." "John Ruth." "Are you a lawman?" "I'm taking her to the law." "So you're a bounty hunter?" "That's right, buster." "Do you have a warrant?" "Yeah, course I do." "May I see it?" "Why?" "You're supposed to produce it upon request." "How am I supposed to know you're not a villain, kidnapping this woman, without a warrant in your possession?" "What's your name, buster?" "Well, it certainly isn't Buster." "It's Oswaldo Mobray." "Oswaldo?" "Yes." "Well," "I got my warrant, Oswaldo." "I take it you're Daisy Domergue?" " That's her." " Yeah." "I see." "It says here "dead or alive."" "Yeah." "It does." "Well, transporting a desperate, hostile prisoner such as her sounds like hard work." "Wouldn't transporting her be easier if she were dead?" "Well, no one said the job was supposed to be easy." "And why is her hanging proper so important to you?" "Let's just say I don't like cheating' the hangman." "He got to make a living, too." "Well, I appreciate that." "Allow me to properly introduce myself." "I'm Oswaldo Mobray, the hangman in these parts." "La-di-da." "Looks like I brought you a customer." "Yeah, so it would appear." "You ever spent two days or more locked up with one of your customers before?" " I can't say I have." " Don't talk to my prisoner." "I talk to my prisoner, that's it." " You got it?" " I got it." "Jolly good." "You got anything in here besides coffee that can help warm us up?" "Well, the bar is open." "Follow moi." "Line, O.B.!" "You're all right, you're all right." "Come on, goddamn it." "I'm cold!" "I'll feed and water the horses." "You go inside and get some hot coffee." "Got some stew cooking." "Should be done soon." "Now, look." "No matter how bad this blizzard gets, we still got to feed these horses and take a squat from time to time." "So me and Chris better lay out a line from the stable to the front door and from the front door to the shithouse." "Okay?" "Good idea." "Come on, Chris." "I'll give you a hand." "No, no, no, no, no." "Go inside." "Get warm." "You're doin' stable work in a goddamn blizzard." "I offer to help, you say no?" "You're right, amigo." "Muchas gracias." "All right." "Follow me." "We're gonna drop one every ten paces," " from here to the door." " Yeah!" "All right!" "Now, you're wanted for murder." "For the sake of my analogy, let's just assume that you did it." "Now, John Ruth wants to take you back to Red Rock to stand trial for murder." "And if you're found guilty, the people of Red Rock will hang you in the town square." "And, as the hangman," "I will perform the execution." "And if all those things end up taking place, that's what civilized society calls justice." "However, if the relatives and the loved ones of the person you murdered were outside that door right now, and after busting down that door, they drug you out into the snow and hung you up by the neck," "that would be frontier justice." "Now, the good part about frontier justice is it's very thirst-quenching." "The bad part is it's apt to be wrong as right." "Well, not in your case." "In your case, you'd have it coming." "But other people, maybe not so much." "But ultimately, what's the real difference between the two?" "The real difference is me." "The hangman." "To me, it doesn't matter what you did." "When I hang you, I'll get no satisfaction from your death." "It's my job." "I hang you in Red Rock." "I move on to the next town." "I hang someone else there." "The man who pulls the lever that breaks your neck will be a dispassionate man." "And that dispassion is the very essence of justice." "For justice delivered without dispassion is always in danger of not being justice." "Amen." "No offense, cowboy fella." "Just gettin' your attention." "Yeah, well... you got it." "What you writin', friend?" "Only thing I'm qualified to write about." "What's that?" "My life story." "You're writing your life story?" "You bet I am." "Am I in it?" "You just entered." "Well, you like writing stories so much, why don't you tell me the story that brings you here?" "Who's asking?" "I am." "John Ruth." "I'm bringing in this one to Red Rock to hang." "And ain't no way I'm spending a couple of nights under a roof with somebody I don't know who they are, and I don't know who you are." "So, who are you?" "Joe Gage." " What?" " That's my name." "Joe Gage." "Okay, Joe Gage." "Why you going to Red Rock?" "I ain't, I ain't, I ain't going to Red Rock." "Where you going?" "About nine miles outside of Red Rock." "What's there?" "My mother." "Your mother?" "Listen, I'm just a cowpuncher." "I just, got back from a long drive, and... and I wasn't just an ass in a saddle this time." "I was a partner." "First time in my life I made a pretty penny." "And, figured I'd come home and spend time with my mother for Christmas." "Now, that's funny." "'Cause you don't look like the coming-home-for-Christmas type." "Yeah, well, you know, looks can be deceiving." "Because I definitely am a coming-home-for-Christmas- to-spend-time-with-Mother type." "Christmas with Mother, I mean, it's a wonderful thing." "Now, is that, good enough for you," "John Ruth?" "For now." "You steer clear of my prisoner." "Hello, old-timer." "General." "General." "You, sir, are a hyena." "I have no wish to speak to you." "I've been called worse." "Fair enough, General." "Sorry to bother you." "Hey!" " You gotta kick it open!" " Gotta kick it open!" " What?" " Kick it open!" " That latch, you gotta kick it open!" " You gotta kick it open!" "Jesus Christ!" " Close it!" " Close it!" " Close the door!" " What?" " Close it!" " The goddamn door!" "It doesn't have a latch." "Close it!" "It's already cold enough in here!" "Doesn't have a latch." " You gotta hammer up a board." " You gotta nail it shut!" "The hammer and nails by the door." "There's a hammer and nails right there!" "God!" " Hold this here, Chris." " Here!" "Here." " Watch your fingers." " Yeah." " Really nail it in!" " Yeah." "You need two pieces of wood." "You got to hammer another one." "One ain't good enough!" "It's gonna blow right open!" "Now, goddamn it!" "Gonna open if you don't ham...!" " Shut up!" " Got it!" "Son of a bitch!" "Jesus Christ." "That's door's a whore." "I get it. "Haberdashery."" "That was a joke." "How's the coffee?" "Now?" "Pretty good, if I do say so myself." "Thank you." "Navajo!" "Guess who he is." "Buffalo Bill?" "Hardly." "No." "I'm..." "Oswaldo Mobray." "I'm the..." "He's the hangman of Red Rock." "You are?" " Yes, I am." " Well!" " Good to meet you," " Yeah." " Mr...?" " Mobray." " Mobray." " Yeah." "I'm Chris Mannix." "The new sheriff in Red Rock." " Really?" " Pfft, horseshit!" "Pay no attention to him." "Horseshit!" "Fella warming' himself by that potbelly stove is a hell of a driver named O.B." "That's the only thing you've said that's the truth." "You comin' into Red Rock to hang Lance Lawson?" " Precisely." " Do you have the execution orders on you?" " In my bag." " May I see 'em?" "Of course." "Who's..." "Who's Lance Lawson?" "He's a fella been sittin' in the Red Rock jail about a month now." "He's the fella who shot the fella who was sheriff 'fore me." "Precisely." "Thank you." "What did she mean when she said," ""The bounty hunter's nigger friend in the stable"?" "He's got a nigger bounty hunter friend in the stable." "But all that just to guard her?" "I don't think that was the original idea, but... that's the idea now." "Want a little snake bite in your coffee?" "Yeah." "Five of you?" "Well, well, well, looks like Minnie's Haberdashery is about to get cozy for the next few days." "Yes, it does." "Here." "Are you the chap with the Lincoln letter?" "The Lincoln what?" "Yes." "The letter from Abraham Lincoln." "President Abraham Lincoln?" "Yes." "Weren't you pen pals?" "With the president?" "Well, I'm sorry, I heard that somebody in your party had a letter from Abraham Lincoln." "I assumed it was you." "Not him!" "Black fella in the stable." "The nigger... in the stable has a letter from Abraham Lincoln?" "Yeah." "The nigger in the stable has a letter from Abraham Lincoln?" "What'd you say your name was again?" " Bob." " Warren." "Minnie and Sweet Dave in there?" "Minnie and Sweet Dave went to visit her mother on the north side of the mountain." " What?" " Yeah." "Minnie ain't here?" "Yes, they're visiting her mother." " Her mother?" " Yes." "Never knew Minnie had a mother." "Well, everybody's got a mother." "Yeah, I suppose." "And she left you in charge?" "Si." "That sure don't sound like Minnie." "Are you calling me a liar?" "Well, not yet I ain't." "Just sounds peculiar is all." "What sounds peculiar?" "Well, first off, Minnie never struck me as the sentimental type." "And secondly, I can't imagine Sweet Dave lifting his fat ass out his chair long enough to fetch well water unless Minnie was laying a frying pan upside his head, let alone take a trip to the north side." "Well, that sounds a whole lot like you're calling me a liar, mi negro amigo." "Yeah, it do sound a whole lot like that, don't it?" "But I still ain't done it yet." "Minnie still serve food?" " Do you consider stew food?" " Yes." "Then we serve food." "She still stinking up the place with Old Quail pipe tobacco?" "Minnie doesn't smoke a pipe." "She rolls her own." "Red Apple Tobacco." "But, mi negro amigo, I think you already know this." "Yeah, I do, Senor Bob." "Just seeing if you do." "Come on!" "Fill 'er up, O.B." "Yeah." "Goddamn it." "Thank you." "Well, cut my legs off and call me Shorty." "Is that General Sanford Smithers I see?" "You got a good eye, son." "Well, I'll be double-dog damned!" "General Sandy "Don't Give a Damn" Smithers?" "Captain Chris Mannix, Mannix's Marauders." "Erskine's boy?" "Yes, sir." "May I sit down, sir?" "Well, according to the Yankees, it's a free country." "General Sandy Smithers." "Boy... boy, did my daddy talk about you!" "I heard you gave those Blue Bellies sweet hell." "Me and my boys did our part." "Just like Erskine and his boys did their part." "Hell yeah, we did." "Yankee sons of bitches." "I never knew your father, son." "But I always respected his resolve." "Well, thank you for saying that, General." "Your respect would have meant the world to him." "Can I get you some coffee?" "That'd be nice." "Well, how about a blanket?" "That'd be even nicer." "Hell, you know what?" "You can have mine." "Here we go, General." "So what brings you out Wyoming way, sir?" "If you don't mind my asking'." "My boy." " You got a boy that lives in Red Rock?" " My son." "Chester Charles Smithers." "He died out here a few years back." "Forgive me, sir." "There's no forgiveness needed, son." "Like I said, it was a few years back." "It was after he'd served his service." "He came out here to the hills of Wyoming... to make his fortune." "Never to be heard from again." "I bought him a symbolic plot... in the Red Rock cemetery." "And I'm here to advise a stone maker on his headstone." "Was he a goner for sure?" "No chance he could be livin' the cold life out in the woods?" "It's a rough life, but folks can learn it." "If he'd have done what he came out here to do, he'd have come home." "Hold it." "Close it, close it!" "You have to hold it closed while I nail it shut." "Well, who's the idiot broke the damn door?" "J-j-j... just fucking hold it closed!" "Orale, cabron!" "Hold it closed." "Okay." "One more." "Keep holding, keep holding, my negro amigo." "We need two pieces of wood." "Orale, cabron!" "All right." "There you go, motherfucker!" "Lot of hats, Senor Bob." "Considering Minnie's "no hats indoors" policy, which, if I remember correctly, was one of them Bar of Iron rules." "Kind of rule she'd want kept up in her absence." "You seem to have a laissez-faire attitude when it come to the hats." "I'm guilty." "I have a laissez-faire attitude about the hats." "How about we forget about the hats today considering there is a blizzard going on and on?" "We'll make tomorrow "No Hat Day"!" " A large black dog." " ♪ Now take my tip ♪" "♪ Before you ship to join ♪" " His name was Henry, I believe." " ♪ The iron gang ♪" " Labrador." " ♪ Don't be too gay ♪" "♪ In Botany Bay ♪" "♪ Or else you'll surely hang ♪" "♪ Or else you'll hang, you'll hang, said he... ♪" "You know, my daddy..." "I-I said that my-my daddy" " always said that Davis" " A plum tree." "Was a courageous man, but he should've put the capital in Montgomery and not Richmond." "Yes, sir." "I agree with that." "The army in northern Virginia would've been used in a very different way." "I said the army of north Virginia would've been used in a very different way!" "♪ They'll flog the poaching out of you ♪" "♪ Out there in Botany Bay. ♪" "Shut up!" "O.B." "Do you know that nigger, sir?" "I don't know that nigger." "But I know he's a nigger, and that's all I need to know." "Well... that nigger just ain't any nigger." "That nigger, he..." "General Sanford Smithers?" "Battle of Baton Rouge?" "Inform the nigger in the cavalry officer's uniform that I had a division of Confederates under my command... in Baton Rouge." "Major Nigger, General Smithers wishes me to inform you..." "I heard him, hillbilly." "Inform this old cracker that I was in Baton Rouge also." "On the other side." "That's interesting." "General Smithers, he said that he was also in Baton Rouge on the other si..." "Captain Mannix, tell the nigger that I don't acknowledge niggers in Northern uniforms." "You captured a whole colored command that day... but not one colored trooper made it to a camp, did they?" "We didn't have the time or the food... nor the inclination... to care for Northern horses and least of all..." "Northern niggers!" "So we shot 'em where they stood!" "Gentlemen." "Gentlemen." "I know Americans aren't apt to let a little thing like unconditional surrender get in the way of a good war." "But I strongly suggest we don't restage the Battle of Baton Rouge during a blizzard in Minnie's Haberdashery." "Now... my Nubian friend... while I realize passions are high, that was a while ago." "And if you shoot this unarmed old man," "I guarantee I will hang you by the neck until you are dead once we arrive in Red Rock." "I damn well guarantee that, too." "Yeah, Warren, that's the problem with old men." "You can kick 'em down the stairs and say it's a accident, but you can't just shoot 'em." "Gentlemen..." "since we may be trapped here, close together-like, for a few days, may I suggest a possible solution?" "We divide Minnie's in half." "The Northern side and the Southern side." "With the dinner table... operating as a... neutral territory." "We could say that the fireplace... side of the room acts as a... a symbolic representative of..." "Georgia." "While the bar... represents Philadelphia!" "Long as the bar's Philadelphia..." "I agree." "We still got that deal we talked about in the wagon?" " Thank you." " I help you protect your $8,000," " you help me protect my ten?" " Yeah, I suppose." "One of them fellas is not what he says he is." "What is he?" "In cahoots with this one, that's what he is." "One of them, maybe even two of them, is here to see Domergue goes free." "To accomplish that goal, they'll kill everybody in here." "They got 'em a couple of days, so all they got to do is sit tight and wait for a window of opportunity." "And that's when they strike." "Bitch?" "If you say so, John." "Are you sure you ain't just being paranoid?" "Our best bet is this duplicitous fella ain't as cool a customer as Daisy here." "He won't have the leather patience it takes to just sit here and... wait." "Waiting for an opportunity and knowing it's the right one isn't so easy." "He can't handle it, he'll stop waiting'." "Try and create his opportunity, and that's when Mr. Jumpy reveals himself." "Now, what you got to say about all this?" "What do I got to say?" "About John Ruth's ravings?" "He's absolutely right." "Me and one of them fellas is in cahoots." "We're just waiting for everybody to go to sleep." "That's when we're gonna kill y'all." "Okay, everybody." "Hear this." "This here is Daisy Domergue." "She's wanted dead or alive for murder." "$10,000." "That money's mine, boys." "Don't want to share it, and I ain't gonna lose it." "When that sun comes out," "I'm taking this woman into Red Rock to hang." "Now is there anybody here committed to stopping' me... from doing that?" "Really?" "Nobody got a problem with this?" "Well..." "I guess that's very fortunate for me." "However..." "I hope you all understand" "I can't just... take your word." "Circumstances force me to... take... precautions." "When you say..." ""precautions"... why do I feel that you mean me?" "Because I'm gonna take your gun, son." "You are?" "Yes, I am." " Nothing personal." " Just mine?" "Hangman's got himself a gun, too." "I'll be dealing with his gun after I deal with yours." "I feel kind of... naked without it." "I still got mine." "I'll protect you." "A bastard's work is never done." "Huh, John Ruth?" "That's right, Joe Gage." " Now, give me the gun." " If you want it you're gonna have to come and take..." "Calm down." "Take your hand away from your gun." "Blink if you're calm." "He blink?" "He blinked." "Blink if you're gonna remain calm." "He blinked." "Take his pistol." "I'm real sorry about this, son." "Like I said... nothing personal, just... a precaution." "Pretty sneaky." "Afraid the same applies to you, too," "Mr..." "Mobray." "Precautions must be taken because life is too sweet to lose." "Hand me that little bucket." "O.B." "Go to the outhouse." "Take this bucket and..." "dump it down the shithole." "Why do I got to go outside?" "Well, your jacket's already on, and I sorta kinda trust you." " Grab the other cup." " Yeah, I got it." "After you, Major." "Okay." "I'm gonna cut you loose while we eat." "Don't get any ideas." "I ain't goin' soft on ya." "Lift your ass even one inch off that seat, and I'll put a bullet right in your goddamn throat." "Come here." "So, Domergue..." "I suppose this blizzard counts as a stroke of luck far as you're concerned." "You don't hear me complaining', do ya?" "No, I sure don't." "Well, how 'bout you, Oswaldo?" "How 'bout me what?" "Look... considering all the things I done for money," "I ain't one to judge, but... don't you feel just the least little bad about hangin' a woman?" "Well, until they invent a trigger a woman can't pull, if you're a hangman, you're going to hang women." "Well, hell, Ozzie, I guess" "I ain't never looked at it like that before." "When it comes to some of them mean bastards out there, it's the only thing does the job." "You really only need to hang mean bastards." "But mean bastards, you need to hang." "You goddamn son of a bitch!" "I almost died out there!" "I ain't ever..." "going out in that shit ever, ever again!" "You okay, O.B.?" "I'm fine." "I'll be fine." "I just need to get warm." "You want some stew, O.B.?" "Stew?" "Later." "Yeah." "That's nice." "So... how you doing, Black Major?" "I ain't in the mood, Chris Mannix." "Leave me be from your horseshit." "John Ruth says you got a Lincoln letter." "I told you, jackass, go hee-haw someplace else." "That's right, John." "You did say that, didn't you?" "Yeah." "I did." "So... you got a letter from Abraham Lincoln?" "Yes." "The..." "Abraham Lincoln?" "Yes." "Abraham Lincoln?" "The president of the United States?" "Yes." "Of America?" "Yes." "Wrote you a letter... personally?" "Yes." "Personally, as in "Dear Major Warren"?" "No, personally, as in "Dear Marquis."" ""Dear Marquis"?" "Abraham Lincoln, the president of the United States of America?" "Yes." "May I see it?" "No, you may not." "But the way John tells it, you weren't just some random nigger soldier picked from a pile of letters." "Way John tells it... y'all had a correspondence." "Yes." "The way John tells it... y'all was practically pen pals." "Yes." "And a pen pal's... practically a friend." "John Ruth... you really think a nigger, drummed out of the cavalry with a yellow stripe down his back, was practically friends with the president of the United States of America?" "John Ruth, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but ain't nobody in Minnie's Haberdashery ever corresponded with Abraham Lincoln." "Least of all, that nigger there!" "Was all that horseshit?" "Course it was." "Good one, Warren!" "Talk that sass, nigger!" "Talk that sass!" "Well, I guess it's true what they say about you people." "Can't trust a fuckin' word comes out of your mouth." "What's the matter, John Ruth?" "I hurt your feelings?" "As a matter of fact... you did." "I-I know..." "I'm the only black son of a bitch you ever conversed with, so I'm gonna cut you some slack." "But you got no idea what it's like being a black man facing' down America." "Only time black folks is safe is when white folks is disarmed." "And this letter had the desired effect of disarming' white folks." "Call it what you want." "I call it a dirty fuckin' trick." "You want to know why I lie about somethin' like that, white man?" "Got me on that stagecoach, didn't it?" "Well, I'll tell you like the good Lord told John." "A letter from Abraham Lincoln wouldn't have had that kind of effect on me." "I might let a whore piss on it." " I spit on it." " Good for you, sister!" "Warren." "Goddamn it, you leave that old man alone." "Stand down, you son of a bitch." "I shared a battlefield with this man." "Or would you deny me that, too?" "I suppose you were there." "May I join you?" "Yes, you may." "Damn it." "So, how's life since the war?" "Got both my legs." "Both my arms." "I can't complain." "Got a woman?" "Fever took her start of this last winter." "What was her name?" "Betsy." "Georgia gal?" "Augusta." "Atlanta boy, Augusta girl." "I used to raise Kentucky horses." "And her pa was the owner of the breedership where I bought most of my ponies." "Goddamn it." "I made a good deal on her." "Took the stake he gave me and bought a bunch of peach orchards." "Set myself up pretty well." "Did a hell of a lot better than either one of my no-good brothers, that's for damn sure." "Yeah, your boy come up here a few years back." "He spoke highly of his mama, too." "You knew my boy?" "Did I know him?" "Yep." "Yeah, I knew him." "You did not know my boy." "Suit yourself." "Did you know my son?" "I know the day he died." " Do you?" " No." "Do you want to know what day that was?" "Yes." "The day... he met me." "He come up here to do a little nigger head-huntin'." "By then, the reward was... $5,000 and bragging' rights." "But to battle-hard rebs," "$5,000 just to cut off a nigger's head?" "That's good money." "So them Johnnies climbed this mountain, lookin' for fortune." "There wasn't no fortune to be found." "All they found... was me." "All them crackers come up here sang a different tune when they found theyself at the mercy of a nigger's gun." "Let's just forget it." "I'll go my way, you go your'n." "That's your boy Chester talkin'." "You're a goddamn lie!" ""If you just let me go home" ""to my family, I-I swear..." "I'll never set foot in Wyoming again."" "That's what they all said." "Beggin' for his life... your boy told me his whole life story." "And you... was in that story, General." "And when I knew me I had the son... of the Bloody Nigger Killer of Baton Rouge..." "I knew me I was gonna have some fun." "You shut your lyin' nigger lips up!" "General Smithers, don't you listen to him." "He didn't know your boy." "He just heard tell why you're here, is all." "It was cold the day I killed your boy." "And I don't mean snowy-mountain-Wyoming cold," "It was colder than that." "And on that cold day, with your boy at the business end of my gun barrel," "I made him strip... right down to his bare ass." "Then I told him to start walkin'." "I walked his naked ass for two hours 'fore the cold collapsed him." "You never even knew my boy?" "No, he didn't!" "He's just a sneaky nigger trying to get you to go for that gun." "Then..." "he commenced to begging' again." "But this time, he wasn't beggin' to go home." "He knew he'd never see his home again." "He wasn't beggin' for his life, neither, 'cause he knew that was long gone." "All he wanted... was a blanket." "Now, don't judge your boy too harshly, General." "You ain't never been cold as your boy was that day." "You'd be surprised what a man that cold would do for a blanket." "You want to know what your boy did?" "I pulled my big black pecker out of my pants... and I made him crawl through the snow on all fours over to it." "Then I grabbed me a handful of that black hair at the back of his head... and I stuck my big black johnson right down his goddamn throat." "And it was full of blood, so it was warm." "You bet your sweet ass it was warm." "And Chester Charles Smithers sucked on that warm black dingus for long as he could!" "You're startin' to see pictures, ain't ya?" "Your boy... black dude's dingus in his mouth... him sh-sh-shakin', him cryin', me laughin' and him not understandin'." "But you understand, don't you, Sandy?" "I never did give your boy that blanket... even after all he did, and he did everything I asked." "No blanket." "That blanket was just a heart-breakin' liar's promise." "Kind of like those uniforms the Union issued those colored troops that you chose not to acknowledge." "So what you gonna do, old man?" "You gonna spend the next two, three days ignoring' the nigger that killed your boy?" "Ignoring' how I made him suffer?" "Ignoring how I made him... lick... all over my johnson?" "The dumbest thing your boy ever did was to let me know... he was your boy." "About 15 minutes has past since we last left our characters." "Joe Gage volunteered to take Smithers' dead body outside." "Straws were drawn to see who'd help him." "O.B. lost." "Chris, John Ruth and Oswaldo had a vigorous debate about the legality of the self-defense murder that just transpired." "Major Marquis Warren, who was supremely confident about the legality of what just transpired, ignored them, sat at the table by himself and drank brandy." "Captain Chris Mannix donned the dead general's coat and joined Oswaldo in lighting the candles and lanterns." "Hey, Ozzie!" "Now, you got the right idea." "Let's light this place up." "John Ruth held the door closed, waiting for Joe Gage and O.B. to return." "Bob enjoyed a Manzana Roja." "Domergue, however, hasn't moved from her spot at the community dinner table since John Ruth uncuffed her." "John Ruth." "Yeah." "Can I play that guitar over there?" "Let's go back a bit." "Your boy, black dude's dingus in his mouth." "15 minutes ago, Major Warren shot General Smithers in front of everybody." "But about 40 seconds before that, something equally as important happened, but not everybody saw it." "While Major Warren was captivating the crowd with tales of black dicks in white mouths, somebody... poisoned the coffee." "He did everything I asked." "No blanket." "And the only one to see him do it was Domergue." "That's why this chapter is called" ""Domergue's Got a Secret."" "John Ruth." "Yeah." "Can I play that guitar over there?" "Yeah." "You come back with anything else but a guitar, my pistol plays a tune." ""Domergue's Death March."" "You got it?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it." "♪ Listen for a moment, lads ♪" "♪ And hear me tell my tale ♪" "♪ O'er the sea from England shore ♪" "♪ I was condemned to sail ♪" "♪ Jury found me guilty, sir ♪" "♪ And said the judge, said he ♪" "♪ For life, Jim Jones ♪" "♪ I sentence you across the stormy sea ♪" "♪ Have no chance of mischief there ♪" "♪ Remember what I say ♪" "♪ They'll flog the poaching out of you ♪" "♪ Out there in Botany Bay ♪" "♪ Waves were high upon the sea ♪" "♪ The winds approaching gales ♪" "♪ I'd rather drowned in misery ♪" "♪ Than come to New South Wales ♪" "♪ The waves were high upon the sea ♪" "♪ When the pirates came along ♪" "♪ But the soldiers on our convict ship ♪" "♪ Were full 500 strong ♪" "♪ They opened fire and somehow drove ♪" "♪ That pirate ship away ♪" "♪ I'd rather join that pirate ship ♪" "♪ Than gone to Botany Bay ♪" "♪ And one dark night ♪" "♪ When everything is quiet in the town ♪" "♪ I'll kill you bastards one and all ♪" "♪ I'll gun the floggers down ♪" "♪ Give them all a little shock ♪" "♪ Remember what I say ♪" "♪ Yet regret they sent Jim Jones ♪" "♪ In chains to Botany Bay. ♪" "That's the one you like to sing in the stagecoach?" "Yeah." "It's kinda pretty." "Got another verse to it?" "Yeah, lots." "Well, go ahead, sing it." "Whatever you say, John." "♪ Now day and night the irons clang ♪" "♪ And like poor galley slaves ♪" "♪ We toil and toil and when we die ♪" "♪ Must fill dishonored graves ♪" "♪ By and by I'll break my chains ♪" "♪ And to the bush I'll go ♪" "♪ And you'll be dead behind me, John ♪" "♪ When I get to Mexico. ♪" "Give me that guitar." "Music time's over!" "Wha..." "Hey!" "Turn around!" "John, no!" " No, no, no, no, no!" " Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" "Shut up!" "When you get to hell, John, tell 'em Daisy sent ya." "Mannix, the coffee!" "My God!" "Give me that fucking gun." "Don't test me, bitch." "Everybody!" "Get your backsides up against that back wall over yonder." "Well, goddamn it!" "Get or don't get, Joe Gage." "It's up to you." " I'm gettin'." " Then get!" "You, too, Senor Bob." "Everybody turn around and put your hands on that wall." "Move them damn snowshoes!" "Everybody keep your mouths shut." "Do like I say." "You open your mouth, you gonna get a bullet." "Move a little sudden, a little strange, you gonna get a bullet." "Not a warnin', not a question." "A bullet." "You got that?" "Let me hear you say, "I got it!"" " I got it." " I got it." "I got it." "We have it." "Chris Mannix, come over here on this side." "Come on." "Take this gun out my holster." "Point it at them." "Now, like I said, anybody does anything, and I mean anything, you kill 'em." "So... you finally decided I'm tellin' the truth about bein' the sheriff of Red Rock?" "I don't know about all that." "But I know you ain't the killer poisoned that coffee, 'cause you almost drunk it your own damn self." "One of them is." "Give me the key." "Give me the key!" "You motherfucking black bastard!" "You're gonna die on this mountain, and I'm gonna fucking laugh when you do!" "What'd I say 'bout talkin'?" "Bastard." "Meant it, didn't I?" "And you need to understand you just killed the only man here committed to gettin' you to Red Rock alive." "Now, one of y'all... is workin' with her." "Or two of y'all is workin' with her." "Or all y'all is." "But only one of you poisoned the coffee." "Now, what charms this bitch got make a man brave a blizzard, kill in cold blood?" "I'm sure I don't know." "But John Ruth's tryin' to hang your woman." "So you kill him." "Okay." "Maybe." "But O.B. wasn't hangin' nobody." "He damn sure wasn't." "But he sure enough laying' over there dead now, though, ain't he?" "He damn sure is, you sons of bitches." "Just like any one of us would've drunk that coffee." "Like me, goddamn it." "Now, those of y'all with your hands on the wall don't practice in poison need to think about that." "Think about how it could've been you rollin' around here on this floor." "And how the man standin' next to you would be responsible." "And I know who I got my money on." "That's right, Joe Gage." "I'm lookin' at you." "Not so fast, Chris." "We'll get there." "Let's slow it down." "Let's slow it way down." "Who made the coffee?" "He did." "Yeah, he did, didn't he?" "Yeah, he did, didn't he?" "But it's the stew that's got me thinkin'." "Now, how long you said Minnie been gone?" "A week?" "Si." "See... my mama used to make stew, and it always tasted the same, no matter the meat." "And there was another fellow on the plantation," "Uncle Charly." "He made stew, too." "And like my mama," "I ate his stew from the time I was a whipper till I was a full-grown man." "No matter the meat, it always tasted like Uncle Charly's stew." "Now, I ain't had Minnie's stew in six months, so I ain't no expert." "But that damn sure is..." "Minnie's stew." "So if Minnie is on the north side visiting' her mama for a week, how'd she make the stew this mornin'?" "And this... this is Sweet Dave's chair." "When I sat in it earlier," "I couldn't believe it." "Nobody sits in Sweet Dave's chair." "This may be Minnie's place, but this is damn sure" "Sweet Dave's chair." "And if he went to the north side I'm pretty goddamn sure this chair be goin' with him." "What's in the chair?" "Just what I thought." "Sweet Dave's goddamn blood." "Hoo!" "Hoo-hoo-hoo!" "So, are you actually accusing me of murder?" "Way I see it, Senor Bob, is whoever is workin' with her ain't who they say they is." "And if it's you, that means Minnie and her man ain't at her mama's." "They laying' out back there dead somewhere." "Or if it's you, little British man, the real Oswaldo Mobray layin' in a ditch somewhere and you just a English fella passing' off his papers." "Or we go by my theory, which is the ugliest guy did it." "Which makes it you, Joe Gage." "So I take it you deduced the coffee was poisoned while you were murdering the old man?" "Yes." "Well, mi negro amigo, during that whole incident," "I was sitting on that side of the room playing "Silent Night" on the piano." "I ain't say you poisoned the coffee." "I said you didn't make the stew." "My theory is... you workin' with the man who poisoned the coffee, and both of y'all murdered Minnie," "Sweet Dave and whoever else picked this bad-luck day to visit Minnie's Haberdashery this mornin'." "And at some point, y'all intended to bushwhack John Ruth and free Daisy." "But you didn't count on the blizzard, and you didn't count on the two of us." "That's far as I got." "How am I doing?" "You're a real imaginative nigger, ain't you?" "So, do you intend to murder me based on a far-fetched nigger theory, or can you prove it, cabron?" "It ain't so far-fetched, Senor Bob." "And it's a little bit more than a theory." "How long you say you been workin' for Minnie?" "Four months." "See, if you'd have been here two and a half years ago, you'd know 'bout that sign used to hang up over the bar." "Minnie mention that to you?" "No." "You want to know what that sign said, Senor Bob?" ""No dogs or Mexicans allowed."" "Now, Minnie hung that sign up the day she opened this haberdashery." "And it hung over that bar every day till she took it down a little over two years ago." "You know why she took it down?" "She started letting' in dogs." "Now, Minnie liked just about everybody, but she sure don't like Mexicans." "So when you tell me" "Minnie went to the north side to visit her mama, well, I find that highly unlikely." "But okay, maybe." "But when you tell me" "Minnie Mink took the haberdashery, the most precious thing to her in the whole world, and left it in the hands of a goddamn Mexican?" "Well, that's what I meant in the barn when I said that sure don't sound like Minnie." "Now I am calling you a liar," "Senor Bob." "And if you lyin', which you are then you killed Minnie." "And Sweet Dave." "Four measly bullets, and there goes Senor Bob." "But that still don't get us no closer to which one of y'all poisoned the coffee, though." "Do it, Chris?" "No, it sure don't." "Now, one of y'all poisoned this coffee to free Daisy." "If I don't hear a confession from one of you motherfuckers quick, fast and in a hurry," "I'm gonna pour this whole pot of coffee down that bitch's goddamn throat." "Okay." "Time's up." "Stop!" "All right, I did it." "It was me." "I poisoned the coffee." "I fuckin' knew it!" "You gonna die now, you murdering' bastard!" "Major Warren, please let me send this ugly son of a bitch to hell." "You killed O.B." "He was worth ten of you." "Warren, can I kill him?" "Say adios to your huevos." "Major Warren!" "I ain't got no gun," "Sheriff." "Hey, Charly, my boy." "How the hell are you?" "Hiya, Ed." "Hiya, Judy." "Yeah!" "How many you got?" "Full house today, friend." "Got one in there waitin'." "Well, he's gonna have to keep on waitin'." "We ain't got no room." "Well, you need to tell Minnie." "'Cause he been here two days, and Minnie wants him out of here." "Well, I can't give him a seat I don't have." "Listen, why don't you take the passengers inside and introduce 'em to Minnie, warm yourself up and drink some coffee." "Yeah." "Here we are, everybody." "Minnie's Haberdashery." "Step outside, you and your friends can stretch your legs." "When you're ready, step on inside, get warm by the fire, get some coffee in you." "I'll introduce you to Minnie." "Hiya, Minnie!" "Now, Minnie, I'm not tryin' to tell you how to run your business, but I would think coffee would be the first thing you'd make." "Come on in, everybody." "Don't be shy." "Hats!" "Everybody, this is Minnie, and this is her place." "Behind me, pluckin' that chicken, is Gemma." "Lovely smile, that Gemma." "Now, the fella in the uniform I don't know, but the one he's playing chess with is Sweet Dave." "Hiya, Dave." "Hey, Judy." "And, Minnie, these are the passengers." "Well, that's not good enough." "Go on, take away them rags, let's see some faces, let's hear some names." "Oswaldo Mobray, madam." "Joe Gage." "Bob." "And I'm Jody." "It's a pleasant surprise to find such a warm sanctuary in the middle of such a cold hell." "Well, make yourself comfortable." "Get warm by the fire." "We're just gonna go warm ourselves by the stove, if that's all right." "Stove, fireplace, whatever." "Just get warm." "And Judy said somethin' about the best coffee in the world." "Yes." "I do believe Judy did say something about the best coffee in the world." "Well, I don't know about all that, but I tell you what it is." "It's hot, it's strong, and it's good." "And in this here snow, it sure enough warms your ass up." "You don't need to sell it, Minnie, you need to make it." "And you need to get your ass out there and help Charly with them bags and get Ed in here." "Yes, ma'am." " But fix that coffee." " I'll fix you!" "I don't know, some old man." "Well, I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it." "I'm just telling you what she said." "Anyway, she sent me out here to help Charly." "She wants to talk to you." "Charly, you got a hold of these fellas?" "Got 'em, Ed." "Miss Minnie, would you roll me a cigarette?" "Sure, honey." "I smoke Red Apple tobacco." "That all right?" "That's my favorite." "Don't mind me, gentlemen." "I'm just watching." "You play?" "You know, I must have had at least 12 people teach me that goddamn game." "Just never could keep the moves in my head." "But if I'm not disturbing," "I'd like to watch." "Hell no." "I like whippin' this old man's ass in front of a audience." "You ain't whipping' shit!" "Merci beaucoup, Mademoiselle Minnie." "That's real nice." "What is that?" "That's French." "You speak French?" "Oui." ""Oui"?" "What does that mean?" "It means "yes."" "Oui, yes." "Hey, hey, Dave, ask me if my ass is fat." "What?" "Ask me if my ass is fat." "It is." "I said ask me." "Why?" "Just do it!" "Is your ass fat?" "Oui." "Look at that, y'all, I can speak French." "Are you the, jelly bean salesman around here?" "How many peppermint sticks I get for a nickel?" "Five." "All right." " Here you go." " Thank you, sugar." "Okay." "Allow me to assist you, madam." "I'm bringing in your bags in case anybody wants to change your clothes before Red Rock." "Peppermint stick?" "Thanks." "So why do they call you "Six-Horse Judy" anyway?" "'Cause I'm the only Judy you've ever seen that can drive a six-horse team." "Yeah." "Kind of a stupid question." "Do you mind holding this for me?" "rock steady, madam." "Rock steady." "You got a very sweet little accent." "Where's that from, England?" "I take exception to that." " New Zealand." " Careful, madam." "Precarious." "Is that anywhere near, Old Zealand?" "Auckland?" "What the fuck's an Auckland?" "It's where I'm from." "It's our biggest city." "Coffee!" "Coffee's ready." "Well, it's about damn time!" "Best coffee on the mountain." "I don't know about all that." "Stagecoach drivers like it, passengers not so much." "Most find it a mite too strong." "Can't be too strong on this mountain." "Thank you." "Well?" "What do you think?" "Shit, fuck!" "Shit!" "Yep." " Si." " He adds something." "Not much, but something." "What you think, Pete?" "Well, I must admit, he does make the setup more convincing." "Okay." "I'll talk to the old man." "You three collect the bodies and chuck 'em in that well out there." "And then start unhitchin' the horses and gettin' 'em in the barn and gettin' 'em fed." "Well, hang on." "I mean, puttin' the horses away, that's easy enough, but dragging' these fat bastards up and down the mountain, that's fuckin' impossible, mate." "Okay." "Well, this is a store, so there's gotta be a wheelbarrow around here somewhere." "Start with the horses, and as soon as I get through with this old hickory tree," "I'll come out and help you, okay?" "Hey, Pete, grab my coat, will ya?" "♪ Now ♪" "♪ You're all ♪" "♪ Alone ♪" "♪ Feelin' ♪" "♪ That nobody wants you ♪" "♪ And you're looking ♪" "♪ For someone ♪" "♪ To hold your hand ♪" "♪ Someone ♪" "♪ Who understands ♪" "♪ Now ♪" "♪ You're by yourself ♪" "♪ And you're feelin' ♪" "♪ The world close ♪" "♪ In on you ♪" "♪ And you're askin'... ♪" "Look." "I just started workin' here." "Whatever Minnie did to make y'all mad..." "I had nothin' to do with it." "♪ Someone... ♪" "Well, old man." "If you... was a cat, what just happened here would count as one of your nine lives." "Do you realize how close you came to being tossed on a pile of niggers?" " Yes." " Yeah." "And when it comes to that pile of niggers that we building' out back, won't take nothin' to make you general of it." "You believe that?" "I expect no less." "Not so fast, old man." "You might have a way out of this yet." "Later today, dirty... son of a gun is gonna come in here and he's gonna have my sister with him." "And he is gonna have her in chains." "He's taking her to Red Rock to be hung." "Do you know why?" "No." "$10,000." "That's why." "Now, when he gets here," "I'm gonna kill that fella and turn my sister loose." "Now, do you have any reason why you would want to interfere with me saving my sister from a hangman's rope?" "No." "You don't?" "No, I don't." "You sure you don't?" "I mean, we did just kill Minnie and Sweet Dave." "Now, you and Sweet Dave looked mighty chummy over here." "I just met these people!" "I don't give a damn about them!" "Or you." "Or your sister." "Or any other son of a bitch in Wyoming, for that matter." "That is a good answer, old man." "Now, when they get here, you just sit your ass in this chair, and you don't do nothin'." "You don't say nothin'." ""Hello."" ""Thank you."" ""Good night."" "That's about it." "Maybe your name." "But that's it." ""Hello."" ""Thank you."" ""Good night."" " And maybe my name." " Maybe your name." "Be a, be a old man." "Be dotty." "Go to sleep." "And don't you say nothin', and I mean nothin', to that bounty hunter that's got my sister." "Do you understand?" "Yes." "When it's safe, I'll kill him, free my sister and leave you be." "Deal?" "Deal." "Thank you." "During the next four hours," "Jody and the boys chucked the bodies down the well put away the horses tidied up around Minnie's stashed weapons for further use and waited for John Ruth and Daisy's stage to arrive." "All right, boys." "This is it." "Let's get ready." "Now, remember, it doesn't matter if we have four men or 40, we are still gonna be facing John Ruth chained to my sister with a pistol pointed at her belly." "Now, killin' that fella 'fore he kills my sister ain't gonna be easy, but you better believe that's exactly what we gonna do." "So the name of the game here is patience." "Trapped here for two or three days, at some point he will close his eyes." "And that's when you blow the top of his head off." "Remember, old man." "If my sister don't make it off of this mountain alive, neither do you." "I'll do my best." "Good luck, mate." "What the hell is going on?" "We weren't expecting another stage tonight!" " Yeah, I can see you" " Here." "Already got another one up in here." "No." "Just got through putting' the horses away!" "Well, this ain't the normal line." "But we are stuck on the wrong side of a blizzard, so it looks like you're stuck with us." "Now you gotta do another one." "Are Minnie and Sweet Dave inside?" "They ain't here!" "I'm running the place while they're gone." "Where's Minnie and Sweet Dave?" "He says they ain't here." "He's looking after the place while they're gone." "Who are you?" "I'm Bob." "Well, whoever you are, help O.B. with the horses." "Get 'em out of this cold 'fore that blizzard hits us." "Whoa." "You all right?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" "Esperate, esperate, esperate!" "I just put those other horses away." "You need it done fast, you need to help." "I got two of my best men on it." "You heard him, freeloaders." "Get to work." "All right, you two, unhook the leaders." "Come on, let's go!" "Open up!" " You have to kick it open!" " Ya gotta kick it open!" " What?" " Kick it open!" "How you doin', old boy?" "They shot my nuts off." "I'm freezin', burnin' up the same time." "Bleedin' like a stuck pig." "I think I'm gonna die." "And these motherfuckers did it." "That's how I'm doin'." "How you doin'?" "Well, my leg hurts really bad." "But I think, if I put all my weight on my right foot..." "I was just bein' sarcastic." "I don't give a fuck about your leg." "Now, you just... make yourself comfortable." "Don't worry about my comfort." "Shit, I can't feel my ass no more." "Worry about these owl hoots and that bushwhackin' nut shooter in the basement." "All right!" "You... fella in the basement!" "You either give up by the time I count to three... or I shoot Domergue in the head." "One!" "Two!" "No, no, no, no, don't shoot her in the head!" "I'm coming up." "Hold on now, you bushwhackin' sack shooter!" "You just open the door." "We tell you when to come up." "Now throw out your pistol." "Toward the bed." "Bet he got another." "Now throw out your other pistol." "I ain't got another pistol!" "Well, you better shit another pistol out your ass, 'cause if you don't throw one up here in the next two seconds, we gonna kill this bitch." "See?" "Told you." "Now, with your hands where we can see 'em, slowly come on up." "How you doing, dummy?" "Better, now I see your ugly face." "How you like that?" "!" "You bushwhackin' castrator!" "What are you doing?" "!" "He was giving up!" "It took him too long, so I done it for him." "Joe Gage, get your ass over here and shut this trap door." "I'm sorry, honey." "May I sit in a chair?" "Yes, you may." "Keep your hands flat on that table." "And don't move 'em." "Mannix!" "You sure picked the wrong time to turn into a nigger lover." "Don't you see, that nigger and John Ruth put you smack dab in the middle of danger?" "You're about to be murdered in some nigger named Minnie's house, and you don't even know why!" "Okay... bitch." "I'll bite." "Why?" "I'm working with all three of them fellas." "But not 'cause they got butterflies in their belly about me, but because we're all gang members." "The Jody Domingre Gang." "That fella y'all just killed in the basement was Jody Domingre!" "My brother!" "Well, who the hell is Jody Domingre?" "You want to tell him, bounty man?" "He was a big bad cat worth $50,000." "And every member of his gang was worth at least ten." "Which finally explains why you worth ten." "And what's gonna happen when that sun comes out, nigger?" "So is my brother's 15 men coming straight here for us." "Tell him, Grouch!" "Jody got 15 men waiting in Red Rock." "We couldn't kill John Ruth and free Daisy here, their job was to sack the town, kill John Ruth and free Daisy there." "Now, with my brother dead, I'm in charge of this gang." " Right, boys?" " That's right, Daisy." "Yeah." "And, Chris, I am telling you, you ain't done anything yet that we can't forgive." "So, let's make a deal." "No deals, bitch." "You gonna let that nigger speak for you, Chris?" "!" "Hold it, Warren." "Seeing as how she ain't got nothing to sell," "I'm kinda curious about her sales pitch." "Humor me." "All right... bitch." "What's... your... deal?" "Easy." "Take your gun, shoot that nigger dead." "Then we sit here all nice-like for the next two days." "When the snow melts, we go to Mexico, you go on to Red Rock, get that star pinned on your chest." "Hey, Pete." "How much can we pay him?" "Well, we could give him Marco." "Bob's real name is Marco the Mexican." "He's worth $12,000." "That's Marco the Mexican?" "Precisely, yeah." "Shit." "Now that I blowed his face off, Marco ain't worth a peso." "Well, then, if I die in the next two days, which is more than likely, you can have me." "Under the name of English Pete Hicox," "I got a federal bounty of $15,000 on my head." "It's all yours, Chris." "You keep talking, Pete, you gonna talk yourself to death." "Joe Gage, who you be?" "Grouch Douglass." "You heard of him?" "Yeah, I heard of Grouch Douglass." "He worth ten, just like Daisy." "Well, remind me... why we wouldn't just kill all y'all, cash in." "You can kill us all, but you'll never spend a cent of that bounty money, and you'll never leave this mountain alive." "'Cause when that snow melts, the rest of Jody's gang, all 15 of 'em that are waiting in Red Rock, are coming here." "Now, l-let's say you shoot us all." "If you really want all that Domingre Gang bounty money, you still got to get all our corpses into Red Rock." "And that ain't gonna be so easy." "'Cause I-I doubt you can drive a four-horse team." "And that wagon out there is too heavy for a two-horse team." "So that means you're gonna have to lead a string of horses into Red Rock." "And with that deep snow after a blizzard, you ain't gonna be able to get away with any more than, say, one body per horse." "So that's you leading a string of four horses into Red Rock." "And with all them horses in that snow and you all by your lonesome, you're gonna be a mite poky." "And you're gonna run smack dab into the Domingre Gang." "And again, Grouch, how many is that?" "15 killers strong." "And when those 15 killers come across you in possession of all our dead bodies, they ain't just gonna kill you and that nigger!" "They gonna go back to Red Rock and kill every son of a bitch in that town!" "You really the sheriff of Red Rock?" "You want to save the town?" "Then shoot that nigger dead!" "Jesus Christ!" "You believe in Jesus now, bitch?" "Well, good, 'cause you about to meet him." "Anybody else want to make a deal?" "The deal still stands, Chris." "You ain't done nothing we can't forgive." "It's all still on that nigger." "You shoot him dead, take my body, sit out in the snow with Daisy and Grou..." "You cunt!" "Mannix, give me my pistol." "Give it here!" "Give it here!" "So, you were saying... we sit here, all nice and friendly like, for the next two days." "Then the snow melts, you leave here, meet up with your gang, and hightail it to Mexico." "That's the deal, right?" "Yeah." "And I get Oswaldo and Joe Gage?" "Yeah." "But Jody's worth $50,000." "What about his body?" "You gonna make a deal with this diabolical bitch?" "I ain't saying I'm gonna make a deal with her." "We just talking." "Calm down!" "So what about Jody's body and the $50,000?" "You're getting greedy, reb." "No deal." "We're taking Jody's body back with us." "He got children." "So I kill Warren, and we all friends?" "Yeah." "No deal, tramp." "Chris!" "You're making the biggest mistake of your life!" "When our boys get here in a couple of days, they're gonna cut your nuts off!" "And there won't be a stick left in that town unburnt!" "Well, I guess I should be plumb scared right now?" "If you had any brains, you would be!" "You see here's the problem, Daisy." "In order for me to be scared of your threats," "I got to believe in those 15 extra gang members waiting it out in Red Rock." "And boy, boy, I sure don't." "What I believe is," "Joe Gage or Grouch Douglass or whatever the fuck his name was, poisoned the coffee." "And you watched him do it." "And you watched me pour a cup, and you didn't say shit!" "And..." "I believe you are what you've always been, a lying bitch who will do anything to cheat the rope waiting for her in Red Rock, including shitting out 15 extra gang members whenever you need be." "And I believe, when it comes to what's left of the Jody Domingre Gang, I'm looking at 'em." "Right here, right now, dead on this motherfucking floor!" "Goddamn right." "Then you're gonna die on this mountain, Chris." "'Cause my brother leads an army of men." "Horseshit!" "My daddy led an army." "He led a renegade army, fighting for a lost cause!" "My daddy held up to 400 men together after the war with nothing but their respect in his command!" "Your brother's just an owl hoot who led a gang of killers!" "I don't feel so good." "Shit." "You still alive, white boy?" "Fuck!" "Mannix!" "Fuck!" "Hey, boy!" "Get up!" "Chris Mannix!" "If your ass ain't nailed to the floor, wake the fuck up!" "Wake up, white boy!" "I ain't dead yet, you black bastard." "Chris Mannix, I may have misjudged you." "Now we've come to the part of the story where I blow your goddamn head off." "No!" "No, no, don't shoot her!" "Why the hell not?" "John Ruth." "Now, John Ruth was one mighty, mighty bastard." "But the last thing that bastard did 'fore he died was save your life." "We gonna die, white boy." "We ain't got no say in that." "But there is one thing left we do have a say in." "And that's how we kill this bitch." "And I say shooting's too good for her." "John Ruth could've shot her anywhere anytime along the way." "But John Ruth was The Hangman." "And when The Hangman catches you, you don't die by no bullet." "When The Hangman catches you, you hang." ""You only need to hang mean bastards..."" ""...but mean bastards, you need to hang."" "As my first and final act as the sheriff of Red Rock," "I sentence you, Domergue, to hang by the neck until death!" "Hang on, Daisy." "I want to watch." "Now, that was a nice dance." "That sure was pretty." "Shit!" "Hey." "Can I see that Lincoln letter?" ""Dear Marquis," ""I hope this letter finds you" ""in good health and stead." ""I'm doing fine," ""although I wish there were more hours in a day." ""There's just so much to do." ""Times are changing slowly but surely," ""and it's men like you that will make a difference." ""Your military success is a credit not only to you," ""but your race as well." ""I'm very proud every time I hear news of you." ""We still have a long way to go," ""but hand in hand, I know we will get there." ""I just want to let you know you're in my thoughts." ""Hopefully, our paths will cross in the future." ""Until then, I remain your friend." ""Ole Mary Todd's calling," ""so I guess it must be time for bed." "Respectfully, Abraham Lincoln."" ""Ole Mary Todd."" "That's a nice touch." "Yeah." "Thanks."