"¶¶" "NARRATOR:" "One boy..." "Yeah!" "NARRATOR:" "One worm." "You know it." "(GROANS)" "(BEEPS)" "NARRATOR:" "These are theiradventures." "(ROARS)" "(WHOOPING)" "Sweet!" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Whoo!" "All right, yeah." "Pretty fun." "Future-Worm." "Mount St. Pancake is about to erupt." "(VOCALIZING)" "(LAUGHING)" "Future-Worm!" "Whoa!" "My pancakes!" "Today, you're gonna try Captain Cakerz for the first time." "Tastes like birthday cake with a crunch!" "Uh..." "Captain What-ers?" "Captain Cakerz!" "You're gonna try it in the exact same conditions that I first tried it, while watching SteakStarbolt!" "MAN: (ON TV) Steak Starbolt!" "DANNY:" "I'll never forget my magically crunchilicious first time." "MAN: (ON TV) BacktoSteakStarbolt!" "(LAUGHING)  I'm Steak Starbolt." "Whoa!" "Steak Starbolt rules!" "(LAUGHING) (GROANING)" "No,SteakStarbolt." "No!" "Mmm!" "Captain Cakerz rules!" "Get ready to have your life changed forever." "All right, sure." "Whatever, kid." "You're gonna love this." "Just you wait." "Waiting." "Huh?" "Who ate all the Captain Cakerz?" "(WHISTLING) Good morning, boys." "Morning, boys." "Mom, Dad!" "Someone ate all the Captain Cakerz." "We just got this box yesterday." "Who would do such a thoughtless, selfish thing?" "Boys, I don't know how to say this, but..." "Honey, I don't know how to say this." "Can you help?" "What your father is trying to say is that we ate it all in the middle of the night." "We just devoured it!" "I mean, can you blame us?" "Well, obviously, yeah." "(SIGHS) No, I can't." "Oh, well, I'm fine with some chicken and waffles." "(SNAPS) So, get on that, Doug." "No way, Fute." "We gotta get some Cakerz." "To the store!" "Come on, this is it, man." "You're in for a real treat." "(SIGHS) Huh?" "Where's the Captain Cakerz?" "(YELLS) Stop!" "Stop!" "(YELLING)" "Hey, Bug, what's up?" "Howdy, boys." "Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your beloved Captain Cakerz is sold out." "Everywhere!" "(SCREAMS) No!" "Yup." "(SOBBING) No, why?" "Here, this'll do." "Let's go." "Ew!" "Cwaptain Cwispees?" "Oh, same diff." "(GRUNTS)" "Don't you understand?" "It's not the same." "It must be Captain Cakerz!" "Kid, I've been all over space and time." "I've seen it and ate it all." "There's more to life than some silly breakfast cereal." "Future-Worm, you haven't lived until you've had a bowl of Captain Cakerz while watching  Steak Starbolt." "It will tickle your taste buds and rattle your retinas." "As your best friend, it's my duty to make this happen for you." "I promise!" "Whoa, kid, that was some moving stuff. (SNIFFS)" "Because it's so important to you, it's important to me." "Let's do this!" "Whoo!" "Now you're talking." "Later, Bug." "Peace out!" "Wait, wait." "Can I come?" "Can I..." "Oh, man." "I never get to go." "What's the planning, Danny?" "First, we scour the 18th century for buried treasure." "Thenwepayavisit totheGurusofGold ." "Andthenwe stockup theweekbeforeitsold out soyoucanfinallycrunch that crunchity-crunch crunch!" "FUTURE-WORM:" "(LAUGHS)  That was agreatplanning,Danny." "Ah, all right." "Let's see what this is all about." "(GRUNTS)" "Not yet, Fute!" "Wait till we get back home to watch some  Steak Starbolt." "The only way it was meant to be enjoyed." "Sorry, man." "All this talk about how life-changingly tasty it is got me all wiggly with excitement." "(COUGHS) Plus I'm starving." "In time, my brother." "Now, let's load this up and head back." "Uh, it's not all gonna fit, is it?" "Yeah, I don't think so." "To my backyard!" "Mission accomplished." "Now back to the present where nothing could possibly stand in our way." "Can't wait!" "Ooh!" "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "Uh, D..." "There is something standing in our way." "(INDISTINCT CHATTER)" "DANNY:" "Oh, no!" "Alien invasion!" "Gloopy-glup." "Gloopy." "(GURGLING)" "Oh, no!" "Mom and Dad's anniversary ficus." "Oh, no!" "Mom and Dad!" "BOTH:" "Gloop all day, gloop all night." "Surrender to the gloopy's might." "(BOTH GURGLING)" "You kiss your mama with that mouth?" "Time to teach you some manners." "(PANTING)" "(GRUNTING)" "That doesn't usually end up with me covered in goop." "(GRUNTS) Gloopy!" "Time for... (BEEPING)" "Robo-Carp." "Mop up these sloppy fools." "Mopping." "(SCREAMS)" "BOTH:" "Weak!" "(GASPS)" "BOTH:" "Super weak!" "(ALL GRUNTING)" "I always knew this is how it would end." "You tell me this now?" "Well, this or trapped on a catwalk among radioactive waste about to get eaten by werewolves on the moon." "Huh?" "Just a theory." "(GRUNTING) Ah!" "BOTH:" "Bug!" "Come with me if you wanna live." "BOTH:" "We wanna live, we wanna live." "(YELLING)" "(SIREN WAILING)" "They can drive too!" "And they've already established a police force?" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "(GASPS)" "Hold on." "(YELLING)" "(SIREN STOPS)" "DANNY:" "What the heck is going on, Bug?" "Yeah, who are those slime sacks?" "Those were Gloopies, an evil spineless alien race." "Hey!" "Nothing wrong with being spineless." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "But, uh, yeah, carry on." "They secretly invaded Earth, then gathered up all the Captain Cakerz and shot it into the sun." "After that, the Gloopies proceeded to enslave humanity and gloop over the entire planet." "All this over Captain Cakerz?" "Why?" "Because it's their weakness." "Whoa!" "It's astrophysicist and supercool scientist" "Neil deGrasse Tyson!" "N.D.T!" "Good to see you again, Future-Worm." "What?" "You know Neil deGrasse Tyson?" "(SCOFFS) Yeah, of course!" "I love science." "Tell him our theory, Dr. Tyson." "Well, this alien invasion has seriously challenged Fermi's paradox." "So much that it..." "Not that theory, Dr. Tyson." "Oh, right, sorry." "The Gloopies are pretty much just big glops of sour milk." "What always stays crunchy in milk?" "Uh..." "Rocks?" "Captain Cakerz, of course!" "Indeed." "We believe that if they come in contact with it, they'll out and dry." "Yeah!" "I even designed these sweet cereal firing weapons!" "Too bad all the Cakerz have been wiped out of existence." "Not all of it." "Future and I went back in time and buried a whole bunch of it in my backyard." "(GASP) Yes!" "There's hope (LAUGHS)" "That's what I'm talking about!" "There's no time to waste." "Let's get to work on a plan." "Oh, yeah!" "Let's go!" "Hey, homie," "I know we get to save the world and all, but I just want you to know that I haven't forgotten about my promise to you." "Yeah, I'm seriously hungry, kid." "So let's get on with it." "Good luck." "I'll stay here at the base, but I'll be monitoring your activity." "Telepathically." "Whoa!" "Neil deGrasse Tyson's telepathic too?" "Yeah, you guys didn't know that?" "Thank you, N.D.T." "(ALIENS GRUNTING)" "You ready, Fute?" "(SPITS) You know it." "(MALE VOICE READING)" "(GRUNTING)" "(GRUNTS)" "(GROANING) I can't wait." "I gotta eat." "Future-Worm." "No!" "(GASPS)" "We can't waste a single bit of that cereal." "Remember, we must save every last bite to defeat the Gloopies." "Okay." "Gotcha." "Loud and clear, Doc." "(LAUGHS) Psych." "(WHISTLES)" "Time to balance this breakfast." "GLOOPIES:" "Gloop, gloop... (ALL YELLING)" "It's working!" "It's working!" "(YELLING)" "(GASPS)" "Mom, Dad?" "Gloopy!" "Oh, come on." "Really?" "I'm trying to save my parents here." "Gloopy!" "(POWERING DOWN) Oh, no." "(YELLS) Leave me alone." "Danny, catch!" "(GRUNTS)" "Take that, sucker!" "(GRUNTS)" "Ooh, you got him, all right." "Ooh, nice shot!" "(ROARS)" "It's not working." "We just gotta hit them with more." "Oh, no." "We're out of Cakerz." "DANNY:" "Bug!" "Tell my story!" "Idon'tunderstand whyit'snotworking." "No!" "(GLOOPIES GRUNTING)" "(SHOUTS) Fute!" "Oh, no." "We're done for, man." "Kid, if this is our last supper, let's make it breakfast." "You saved a box?" "Yeah!" "At least we'll go out with the sweet taste of Cakerz in our mouth." "(BOTH CRUNCHING)" "(GLOOPIES SCREAMING)" "Hey, what?" "That's it!" "The crunch is their weakness." "They can't stand the Cakerz crunch." "Keep crunching." "Mmm, give me more, then." "Good thing I got teeth." "(DANNY CRUNCHING)" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Let me get my crunch on." "(ALL CRUNCHING)" "Yes!" "You made it, Mom and Dad, you're free." "Hello, son." "Thank you, Danny." "Okay, now I'm gonna need everybody to get outside to safety." "You got it, son." "Neil deGrasse Tyson?" "You there?" "Yes,Danny, I'mgood." "Record and broadcast this crunch around the world." "Yougotit ." "(CRUNCHING)" "They're retreating." "(ALL CHEERING)" "(CROWD CHEERING)" "You saved the world." "Here's lifetime supplies of Captain Cakerz." "(ALL CHEERING)" "You're the best, Fute." "I thought there was no topping Cakerz and  Starbolt, but it never tasted better than with you." "I'm down with cereal that can kill aliens, but you kind of overhyped this frosted cardboard, kid." "I'm sticking with chicken and waffles." "You hear that, Doug?" "Get me chicken and waffle!" "(MALE VOICE READING)" "MAN: (ON TV) It'sFutuaryfifth,3000." "TodayonHealingTouch with Dr. D..." "ReggieisaFrenchcyborg whose bionic knee needs help." "Andwe'llmeetaworm  fromthefuture andhisfrozenbrain pethuman." "(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)" "(GROANING) Brain freeze!" "My cranium's gone cryogenic, man." "You sure this TV guy can get rid of my brain freeze?" "(SPITS) It's the year 3000, Danny." "You've got modern future science." "Dr. D is a pro." "Guy can heal anything." "I love this show!" "CyborgReggie, are you ready for the healing touch of Dr. D?" "(MUMBLING)" "(ROARING)" "(SCREAMS)" "HOST:" "Dr. D has been apractisingphysician forover30 years." "Hegraduatedsecond inhisclass atJohnsSevenZotkins MedicalSchool." "(ROARS)" "(DANNY SCREAMING)" "I know what you're thinking." "But Dr. D is legit." "CYBORG REGGIE:" "Oh, no!" "Sure, his methods may seem a bit unorthodox, but... (CYBORG REGGIE SCREAMING)" "A bit?" "Hmm." "Might have got this mixed up with a different show." "(GROWLS)" "(SNARLS)" "Human Danny, are you ready for the healing touch of Dr. D?" "No, sir." "Brain freeze all gone." "All better." "Watch." "(SLURPS)" "(SCREAMS) Brain freeze!" "Ahh!" "Whoa!" "Coming through." "Whoa." "(ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)" "Oh, yes." "The future's pretty wild, huh?" "(SLURPS)" "Ahh!" "Brain freeze!" "Oh, weak!" "(ROARING)" "FUTURE-WORM:" "Run, kid!" "(PANTING)" "(GROWLS)" "(SNIFFS)" "(SNIFFS)" "Look, uh..." "Shh." "Shh?" "You shh!" "(WHISPERING) No." "You shh." "Look, this wasn't my fault." "Must be two Dr. D's." "(GROWLING)" "(SLURPS) Ahh!" "Brain freeze!" "(STOMPING)" "(FUTURE-WORM SHOUTING)" "Goodbye, Fute." "Think of me whenever you drink slushies." "(ROARS)" "(SNORING)" "(GASPS) My brain freeze." "It..." "It's gone." "AUDIENCE:" "Aw!" "That's right." "The healing touch of Dr. D has cured another believer." "Nothing cures brain freeze like a cold-blooded embrace." "His cold blood sucked the freeze right out of me." "Told you." "Nothing to worry about." "My knee pain is gone along with my knee itself!" "(THANKING IN FRENCH)" "Let me get on some of that dino hugging." "Oh." "Yeah, yeah." "That's right." "(CLAPPING) That's all the time we have for today." "Next week, Dr. D's guest will be a man with jelly fish hands, and a snow man who wants a nose job." "Yes!" "It's finally here!" "FUTURE-WORM:" "Oh!" "Fu-chem rules!" "Whoa, hey!" "It's me!" "Professor Gigglesnorp!" "I'm in a Future Chemistry set." "What are you waiting for?" "(CHUCKLES) Open this baby up and we can get started with some chemistry-ing, future style..." "Oh, whoa-oh!" "Sweet!" "Oh, yeah!" "(KNOCKING)" "Anyone in there?" "Danny!" "Hi there, son." "Remember that favor coupon you gave us for our anniversary?" "Yep." "We're calling it in." "A romantic dinner." "Tonight." "Oh, yeah." "(GIGGLES) Come on here." "Oh, man!" "Yep." "It's legit." "Looks like we got to get down to business and bust out our..." "Uh..." "Chef batons?" "I don't know." "I don't know anything about this stuff." "(GROANS)" "I had to go to the year 37 AD to get this set." "So, techinically, I've been waiting 1,764 years to play with it." "(GROANS) Whoa!" "Boys!" "Boys!" "Ho-ho." "Listen." "Favor coupons aren't supposed to be called in." "It's simply not done." "Look, I do wanna chem it up, but if I break my word to Mom and Dad, I'll lose their trust." "Plus they'll realize all my coupons are worthless." "The entire coupon economy will crash, leaving me on the hook for tons of presents." "Okay, Fute, we got 45 minutes (BEEPS) before we gotta have dinner ready." "So let's bang this out so we can get chemistry-ing." "Right on!" "Let's see." "Recipes." "Recipes." "No time for any of that stuff, Fute." "We just gotta wing it." "Okra pickles, mustard cheese," "Tim's Tropical Tuna snacking compound and, of course, Captain Cakerz." "What do they all have in common?" "They're all good!" "So think about it, if we combine them all together, they'll be incredible!" "Oh, yeah!" "Here we go!" "(BEEPS)" "(BEEPS)" "(BEEPS)" "(BEEPING) Flavor town, here we come!" "(IMITATES CLANKING)" "(BOTH VOMITING)" "(GROANING) (GROANS) Where did we go wrong?" "You'll never get the hang of this cooking thing." "It's too hard." "Let's admit that, move on, and pop open this crazy chemistry thing." "Get into some protons, you know, isotopes and whatever." "We're almost there, Gigglesnorp." "One go-back change-o, and we'll be in isotopia!" "(WHIRS)" "(SLURPING) (BOTH VOMITING)" "(BOTH VOMITING)" "Ooh, I know." "Robo-Carp." "Microwave it up!" "(BEEPS, WHIRS)" "(BEEPS)" "Weak." "(VOMITING)" "(VOMITING)" "(VOMITING)" "(VOMITING CONTINUOUSLY)" "Gee, honey." "This is great." "We haven't had a nice, quiet dinner since..." "Uh, how old is Danny now?" "(VOMITING)" "Boys?" "Is everything all right in there?" "Everything's all right, Mrs. D." "Tell Doug to keep his pants on." "(GROANS) What gives?" "We've done this 45 minutes a zillion times." "None of the foods here combine into a meal." "(BEEPING)" "Except one." "How could I forget the versatile potato?" "Take two and power a clock." "Mash 'em up for mashed potatoes." "Fries?" "(SCOFFS) Fry 'em up, son!" "Fry 'em up!" "Aw, man." "These little dudes may be big enough to power a clock, but there's enough tate here for shoestring fries." "(SPITS) I love shoestring fires!" "Better living through science." "What'd you just say?" "Oh, nothing." "Just our motto." "You know, I thought you might have noticed it splashed across the packaging of this handsome 100 future dollar chemistry set." "You know, maybe the solution to all your problems lies inside here." "Hmm." "Maybe there is something in here that wil rapid grow or clone or multiply those taters!" "For the good of the meal." "Kid, as much as I've dug hanging out with you though endless cycles of hurling," "I gotta say, let's do this!" "So, uh, what have you got in here that's safe for making our meal-o, massive-o, Snorps?" "Listen, I'm not here to tell you what's safe or not safe." "I'm here to get you to have fun, Danny." "You know, to use this chemistry set for your life, you know, make it better and more exciting." "For me to witness as an immortal from..." "Yeah, dude." "Yeah." "Don't need your life story." "Just give us the potato-growth juice." "Uh, um..." "How about this?" "Sodium hexa mutationide..." "Six?" "It's a future paprika, with confidence." "Whoa!" "In the future, paprika can grow stuff?" "Uh, who knows?" "I..." "I don't know." "DANNY:" "Whoa!" "Sweet!" "Think he's friendly?" "(ROARS)" "What's the deal, dude?" "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) You know what they say." "Science is, uh, an inexact science, right?" "(GROWLS) (SCREAMS)" "Time to meet my maker," "Schleshinger-Davis Holo-Toys Incorporated." "(GROWLS) (ALL SCREAM)" "(SCREAMS)" "(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)" "Uh-oh." "(SCREAMS)" "(STOMACH GROWLS)" "Oh, oops!" "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)" "Uh, sounds like our stomachs are getting impatient." "And it's not just hunger." "Some tummy tunes are produced from the gases released by the bacterial fermentation of the undigested food in the lower intestine." "It's a true science fact." "And that's why I married you." "(LOUD CRASH) (BOTH GASP)" "(GROWLS)" "He's ticked, man." "It's time for a go-back change-o!" "Dude!" "How are we gonna unmake dinner without the lunchbox?" "By grinding it into potato salad on my titanium abs!" "(GRUNTS)" "(SCREAMS AND GRUNTS)" "(GROANS)" "No!" "The chemistry set!" "Eh, and you too, buddy." "Not cool!" "(GASPS)" "Oh, Brain-tingle!" "Okay, yeah, let me see." "Aha!" "Baked potato!" "Fute, follow my lead." "You got it, D." "Fried spices." "(GROANS) Plenty of butter." "Wrap in foil." "And..." "Bake at 450, chive turkey." "(EVIL LAUGHTER) Hot, hot, hot hot." "What..." "Is that amazing baked potato?" "It's so big!" "And juicy looking." "Dig in, you two lovebirds." "Mmm..." "What is..." "Paprika?" "Oh, I love tubers." "(GIGGLES) So yummy." "Turns out, cooking's a breeze when you follow the recipe." "You two went above and beyond." "(GASPS)" "You sure did, Danny." "(GRUNTS) At ease!" "My name is General Archibald Couponocus of the Intergalactic Consourtium of Couponery." "Son, for your actions to preserve the integrity and value of coupons," "I present you with this coupon allowing you to avert one instance of planetary destruction by alien forces." "And there's no need to use it on our invasion." "Because we decided not to destroy your planet." "I'm General Couponocus and that was my speech." "Sweet!" "NARRATOR:" "Future-Worm!"