"Now, I need to know how many people I'll be making Easter dinner for." " None." "Everyone's coming to my house." " That's not fair." "You did it last year, and I've already ordered the lamb." "The one you've been watching grow on the Internet?" "Poor Mr. Fluffers." "I told you, please don't give him a name." "So then it's settled." "Sunday, 2:00, my house." "When do I get to host one of these family dinners?" "I'm married now." "The rule was, once you legally sleep with a man you can host the holiest dinner of the year." " It is the rule." " Let's not rush into anything." "We don't want another fiasco, like cousin Eugenia's Thanksgiving." " Didn't she move away to Omaha?" " Some say moved away others say laughed out of town." "I think I know better than to put a live bird in the oven." " So Sunday, 2:00." " No, I'm doing it." "I'll make a list." "And you guys will have the greatest Easter feast ever." "Just go home and figure out which stretch pants you're gonna wear." "My little Nia hosting Easter." "What do you think of that?" "I'm sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself." " Was that a ping or a ding?" " I think it was a cow." "That means the potatoes are done." "Each timer represents a different dish that needs to be stirred or taken out." "And the potatoes have cheese in them, which means cheese, dairy, cow." " This is why you get those headaches." " All right, taste this sauce." "I've been trying things for seven hours and my tongue is grumpy." " Needs more oregano, doesn't it?" " It's fine." "Fine, but not great?" "No, I wasn't saying anything." "Stop, stop, stop!" "No!" "It's wonderful." "It's great." "It's all I want." "Just give me the pot and a big, long, bendy straw." "Come on." "That one was my heart." "Okay, I have never seen you this obsessed." "Obsessed?" "Of course I'm obsessed." "Easter to my family is like golf to your people." "That's funny, because last Easter, I was playing golf." "That's a cute story." "When my family's here, don't tell it." "So hosting Easter is actually a rite of passage." "Exactly." "It's what's expected of me, kind of like marrying a Greek boy." "So if I pull this off, I'm one for two." "Checking in for phase one of "Operation Easter Surprise."" "I am prepared to pick up the elephant at the zoo." "Going to the airport and picking up Constantine?" " You said this was a secret." " Not to those of us who thought of it." "I don't even know what he looks like." "Can I see that photo of him and Dad?" "I don't know how this will help." "They don't look like that any more." "Constantine may be older, but I'll bet he still has that cocky sneer." "You're pointing at Dad." "So this guy was Dad's best friend 40 years ago?" "That's what your mom said." "Then he moved to New York." "They lost touch." "We've had great food on holidays, but we've never had a surprise reunion." " Nia, this is great." " You think?" "Kick-ass Easter!" "Sorry, sir." " Okay, so go to the airport." "Now!" " Okay." " Where did we get this frame?" " Nikki gave it to me." "I have a horrible feeling she made it." "All right, so here's my plan." "I am gonna put this photo where he can see it." " What if he doesn't see it?" " I'm gonna sit him right here and then I'm gonna go:" "He'll notice the picture of him and Constantine get wistful, wish he could see Constantine." "Constantine walks in and it is the best Easter since the original one." " Happy Easter!" " Mom and Dad, you're early!" "Mom, what's in that bag?" "Nia, your mother and I have total confidence in your cooking." "Then why does that bag smell like lamb?" "It's Easter." "The whole world smells like lamb." "Well, I don't need your cooking." "Everything's gonna be perfect." "Then why is your eye twitching?" "It's not twitching. it's..." "I'm winking." "It's a welcome wink." "Welcome." "Oh, how nice." "Mom, give me your coat." "Now, I want you to sit down and just enjoy the day." "Let me put your coat right here, right beside this decorative frame." "Hello, happy Easter." "We're not here to help you." "We have complete faith in your cooking." "That bag smells like lamb." "Oh, right." "Aunt Voula, why did you bring a salad?" " You know I'm making dinner." " It's for Thomas." "He's a vegetarian." "Great." " Is that bacon?" " Yes." " Bacon is meat." " Thomas, it's Easter." "Don't annoy God." " Dad, can Barbie have dinner with us?" " Okay." "But she can't bring that no-good Ken until he proposes to her." "And that's how the Greeks invented fireworks." "I'm still pretty sure it was the Chinese." "You're wrong, but I'm too hungry to prove it." " We've been sitting here for two hours." " I don't mean to repeat myself but where the hell is Nick so we can eat?" "I'm sure he's on his way, because he'd better be." "I'll call him on his cell from the kitchen, because that's the best phone." "I'll check the food and make sure it's warm which I'm sure it will be, because I'm about to check." "I smell fear." "I don't get it." "Constantine's plane landed over an hour ago." "There are cab drivers who have been in this country for two days who could have gotten him here by now." " Damn it!" "He's still not answering." " I know what happened." " He left it on vibrate." " How do you know that?" "Because it's right here." " Great." "Now what do we do?" " Let's refill the peanut bowls." "No." "Now we're gonna have to be incredibly entertaining." " What do you have in mind?" " Follow me." "Tell it to them." "This is great." "Is it ever." " Last Easter, I was playing golf" " Thomas." "I don't mean to interrupt your blasphemous story but have you gotten in touch with Nick?" "Yes." "He..." "He'll be along." "Nut?" " I smell smoke." " Oh, it must just be the smoked ham." "Everything's fine, nothing's burning." "Best Easter ever." " Say hello to the elephant." " Cousin Constantine!" " You must be Nia." " Yes." " Oh, you're so beautiful." " We could talk about that more later..." "...but where were you?" "!" " Damn airport parking garage." "No matter which sign I followed, I kept ending up on the roof." "Okay, I am dying out there." "Please tell me you are Constantine." " This is my husband, Thomas." " Nice to meet you." "I brought you some cookies." "I hope you like kourambiethes." "I don't think I've ever had..." "Thomas isn't Greek." "Every man needs an obstacle to overcome." " I like this guy." " Keep your voices down." "It's showtime." "Nick, you'll bring Constantine from this door." "But wait for me to say, "Bring out the elephant." Okay." "Best Easter ever!" "Hello." " Is that Nick I heard?" " When is dinner?" "If I eat my arm, would it grow back?" "Would it be rude to turn on the Food Network?" "Those are all good questions." "But really, a picture is worth 1000 words." "Oh, for God's sake." "Dad, look." "Who is that?" " That's me." " It's your father." "Okay, who's that in the picture with you?" " Constantine Christakos." " Well, I'll be a" "Bring out the elephant." "He was your best friend." "You haven't seen him in 40 years." "Wouldn't it be great to see him again one day?" "No." "I hate that man more than any man who walks the earth." "Return the elephant to base." "Surprise." "Dad, who's your best friend?" " Your mother." " Why?" "Because she loves me, she cares for me and she might be listening." "You must be confused." "Constantine is your best friend, remember?" "Oh, yes." "Oh, yes." "I remember." "Okay, you, it's back to the airport." "Come on." " Fine, I'll get my suitcase." " Oh, Constantine." "I don't know what that was all about but we're all so glad to see you." "Forty years and I haven't aged a bit." " I should go." "Gus is very upset." " Oh, no, no." "He just" " He doesn't like anyone to see him cry." " But he seemed so angry." "Yes, "seemed." Like right now, you seem confused, but are you?" "Yes." "Exactly." " I'll talk to him and check on the lamb." " No!" "That's still the kitchen." "You're not going in." "Back it up." "Come on, everybody." "Have a seat at my table." "This is a small blip in the most perfect Easter ever." "We'll be right back after this brief intermission." "Thomas?" "Can I see you by that thing where we were before these people came over?" " Yes." " Okay, then." "What is he doing here?" "We were under the impression you were best friends." "Everything's fine, everything's great." "Best Easter ever." " He stole from me." " Gus, what are you talking about?" "He took the secret recipe for my famous feta omelette." "Secret recipe?" "It's feta cheese and eggs." "Everything is simple, once you think of it." "So, Constantine, how have you been?" "Good." "Up until about five minutes ago." "I haven't felt this uncomfortable since..." "Well, it involved bicycle shorts." "Constantine, did they give you a meal on the plane?" " Yes." " Could you describe it to me?" "Let's vote." "All in favour of not letting my dad ruin Easter, say "aye."" " Aye!" " Aye!" "We have a winner." "You two go ahead." "I'm going home and eat a honey bun." "Fine, fine." "I mean, if you don't have the guts to face him..." " What did you say?" " Well, I mean, he's probably in there laughing at the fact that you're in here hiding like a schoolgirl." "That reverse psychology doesn't work on me." "I don't hear him laughing." "I better go check." "That was either brilliant or we better get out there." "We better get out there!" "Dinner is served." "So, Gus, it's been a long, long time." "Oh, has it been?" "I didn't notice." "I think an Easter that almost falls apart and then comes back together again is the best Easter." "Who's with me?" " Me." " Okay, then." "Who else?" "Me." "You know we don't eat until your father says the Easter prayer." " Thank you, Maria." " Excuse me, Gus, if I might." " If you might what?" " Constantine, it's kind of a tradition..." "...to let my dad do the prayer." " I understand, but please." "I spent the entire flight thinking of a toast to honour Gus on this special occasion." "Well, if you're going to honour me..." "Forty years is a long time for best friends to lose touch." "The fact that Gus has agreed to sit and break bread with me is a sign that a very gracious apology is in order." "Gus Portokalos, I accept your apology." "Wait a minute!" "I think that hair gel has seeped into your brain." " It is you who owe me an apology." " You must be joking." " Do I look like I'm joking?" " I'm laughing." "We'll remember this as the Easter where we laughed." "That's it." "Easter is over." "Nick, take me to the airport." "I decide when Easter is over." "All right, Easter is over." "Nick, take him to the airport." "Don't blame yourself, Nia." "A disaster like this falls under "act of God."" "This isn't a disaster." "This is like a tiny blip in the road..." " Are you crying?" " No." "There's no tears at Easter." " Somebody should go talk to him." " Let's draw breadsticks." "Fantastic!" "Gus, listen." "Wait, you're both in here?" " My suitcase is here." " And this is my room that I go to." " You could go someplace else." " And you can take your suitcases and leave like you did 40 years ago." "You mean the time that I stole your famous feta cheese omelette recipe?" " So you admit it!" " It's feta cheese and eggs!" "You might as well copyright a ham sandwich." "I left because everything had to be your way." "Because you wouldn't listen." "Plus you went on and on about how the Greeks invented everything." " We did." " I mean, Greece is great, but come on!" "Gentlemen, may I?" "Gus this isn't about an omelette." "It sounds like you're upset that Constantine moved away." "No." "Well, maybe." "And, Constantine, it sounds like you just wanted to be away from Gus." "Well, I didn't want to work with him, but I still wanted to befriends." "If you miss me so much, why didn't you write?" "You could have called." " So you wanted me to call?" " If you wanted me to write." "Is this going well?" "Because I can't tell." "Mom, you kill me!" "You guys are missing some great stuff over there." "Good stories." "Please come back." "It is a sin to waste food." " You're right." " Excuse me." " Did you pull that off?" " I'm not sure." "Because if you did, tonight I will be very open to new ideas." "Oh, it was me." "Definitely me." " Everybody ready for dinner?" " Oh, finally." "My blood-sugar level is at zero." "Okay." "Before anything else goes wrong here's to my first Easter dinner." "Such a silly fight." "And all because Constantine and I went out on a few dates." "What?" "!" "I thought that's what this fight was all about!" "No!" "I mean, not till now!" " Maria, how could you?" " Oh, Gus, calm down." "It was three teeny little dates." "And it was long before you and I ever went out." "You scoundrel!" "I told you I was in love with her, and you still asked her out." "We were 19, we were in love with everyone." "Maybe you came here to win Maria back." "I came here to see you." "I have no interest in Maria." " Oh, I'm sorry." " That's all right." "Oh, now you're too good for her, Mr. Big Apple restaurant guy?" " I think she's too good for you." " She's not too good for you?" "Okay, enough!" "Enough!" "My eye twitch is back, and I can't feel my feet." "Have you forgotten what Easter is all about?" "!" " Redemption?" " No." " New beginnings?" " No!" "Bunnies?" "I know." "Today is about asking for forgiveness." "Gus Portokalos, for Nia's sake, I apologize." "You can't do that." "She's my daughter." "For Nia's sake, I apologize." "Fine, you win." "I accept your apology." "It's good to see you again, old friend." "It's good to see you too." "Now, Nia, isn't that what Easter's all about?" "Yes." "But it's also about my dinner." "It's delicious, it's wonderful, and it's getting cold." " So forks to mouths, people." " What about the Easter prayer?" "I said it when the ham caught on fire." "That's good enough for me." " Peas, Mom?" " No, no." "No peas." "They give me gas." "Nia, this lamb is amazing." " Very tender." " And full of flavour." " Might be a little overcooked." " No, it's not!" " No, it's not." " Mom this is your lamb!" "How could you?" "I worked all day." " I had the" " Best Easter ever." "Right." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"