"Yo!" "Jay?" "You seen my phone?" "No." " What's your name?" " Will." "_" "Hey." "You coming or not?" "What?" "Where?" "You texted me that you wanted to meet me." "I didn't text you." " Hey." " Hi." " It's kind of late." " Can I come in?" "Oh, she's here." " Let me get my things." " No, you don't have to do it." "I know you guys have a lot to talk." "When our baby died, why didn't you come get me?" "Fucker!" "Who the fuck are you?" "!" "Fuck!" "Stop!" "Fuck!" "Stop!" "Fuck stop!" "Ryan is working hard." "He should." "He fucking lost." "Come on, Jay." "We can call Ryan and give him the belt now if you want." "Push!" " What are you looking for?" " Just wanna get high." "Your boyfriend's not gonna come after me, is he?" "We won't tell him." "Suspect was released from prison six months ago after doing 25 years for rape and murder." "There was a struggle." "He stabbed her in the stomach" "Ava!" "Ava!" "♪♪♪" "♪ Well, the midnight headlight ♪" "♪ Blind you on a rainy night ♪" "♪ Steep grade up ahead, slow me down ♪" "♪ Makin' no time ♪" "♪ But I gotta keep rollin' ♪" "♪ Those windshield wipers slappin' outta tempo ♪" "♪ Keepin' perfect rhythm with the song on the radio ♪" "♪ But I gotta keep rollin' ♪" "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ I'm drivin' my life away ♪" "♪ Lookin' for a better way ♪" "♪ For me ♪" "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ I'm drivin' my life away ♪" "♪ Lookin' for a sunny day ♪" "♪♪♪" "♪ Well, the truck stop cutie comin' on to me ♪" "♪ Tried to talk me into a ride ♪" "♪ Said I wouldn't be sorry ♪" "♪ But she was just a baby ♪" "♪ Hey, waitress pour me another cup of coffee ♪" "♪ Pop me down, jack me up, shoot me out ♪" "♪ Flyin' down the highway ♪" "♪ Lookin' for the morning ♪" "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ I'm drivin' my life away ♪" "♪ Lookin' for a better way ♪" "♪ For me ♪" "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ I'm drivin' my life away ♪" "♪ Lookin' for a sunny day ♪" "♪♪♪" "♪ Well, the midnight headlight ♪" "♪ Blind you on a rainy night ♪" "♪ Steep grade up ahead, slow me down ♪" "♪ Makin' no time ♪" "♪ But I gotta keep rollin' ♪" "♪ Those windshield wipers slappin' outta tempo ♪" "♪ Keepin' perfect rhythm with the song on the radio ♪" "♪ But I gotta keep rollin' ♪" "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ I'm drivin' my life away ♪" "♪ Lookin' for a better way ♪" "(DOOR HINGES CREAK)" "♪ For me ♪" "Sir, you can't be in here." "♪ Ooh ♪ Sir." "♪ I'm drivin' my life away ♪" "Sir, you can't be in here." "♪ Lookin' for a sunny day ♪" "♪♪♪" "Can I help you?" "I, uh..." "I'm here to pick up a gun." "Yeah." "I need a picture I.D., nine-digit report number, and the name of the officer that authorized the release." "Name of the officer is, uh, Detective Poole, and, yeah, the number's right there." "Okay." "And here is my I.D." "All right." "Need that wrapped?" "No, I brought a case." "Okay." "One moment." "Yeah." "(BAG ZIPS)" "(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)" " (GUN CLICKS) - ...739102." "Sig Sauer, unloaded." "No rounds in the mag." " All right." " Anything else?" "I think that'll do it." "Okay." "Oh, actually, I do have a question for you." "What do they do with the unclaimed bodies?" "It's Decedent Affairs." "Where's that at?" "Boyle Heights." "I'll write down the address." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)" "How's your weight?" "Eight over." "Eight?" "Doing good." " Juan." " Yeah?" "Fire up the sauna." "We're going in." "Get ready." "What was in that box?" "Huh?" "You had a box when you came in." "Oh, the box." "That box was what remains of my friend Sean Chapas." "It's a true story." "I claimed his body this morning." "He's got no fucking family." "Shit." "Sorry." "Yeah." "Cost me 400 bucks." "I mean, they couldn't get rid of him, but they charged me 400 bucks." "Fucking government." "I almost left him there." "Now his entire existence fits into a plastic box." "Could you imagine that?" "Chapas." "Male." "Latino." "That's it." "That's it." "That's all there was." "Hmm." "(SIGHS)" "I cremated my father." "Where is he?" "Mom has him." "On the mantel like a pet." "(CHUCKLES)" "What the fuck else are you gonna do with him, right?" "(SCOFFS)" "Storage unit." "(CHUCKLES)" "What about you?" "What?" "Do you want to be buried or cremated?" "No, brother." "Haven't you heard?" "I'm never gonna die." "(CHUCKLES)" "But if I do, I want you to stuff my body and put it in the corner of the gym." "Truthfully." "Nice." "I'm counting on you, man, 'cause my fucking kids will leave me in the morgue." "I got you, man." "We'll pose you up nice, you know?" "Make you look fucking proud." "Yeah, I like that." "Like a fucking Spartan." "Hey, fucker." "You have to pay him more than Ryan." "Sorry." "Jay agreed to everything." "The deal is closed." "Okay, well, then re-open the deal." "(LAUGHS) Forget it." "Re-open the deal and pay my fighter what he's worth." "And how do I know he's gonna show up?" "He'll be here." "How do I know, Lisa?" "I'm losing my mind." "I don't even know if the guy's in shape." "He won't even do any press." "Okay, for fucking obvious reasons." "I know, I know." "I feel terrible about his girlfriend, but let's not play that card, okay?" "Let's..." "Let's have some dignity." "A girl lost her life." "That's a tragedy." "That's not leverage." "Jesus." "You're right." "We all care about Jay." "I know." "I don't think he should fight." "What do you mean?" "I mean, we're gonna lock him in a cage, put cameras in his face after everything he's been through?" "That's barbaric." "You're fucking ruthless." "No, you know what?" "I don't think he's in the right frame of mind to fight." "I'm gonna pull him." "Scratch the whole card." "Okay!" "Okay!" "What do you want?" "Another 5 grand." "$3,500." "$2,500." "$3,500." "$3,000." "$3,500." "(SIGHS)" "$3,400?" "Okay. $3,500." "It's always a pleasure." "If he doesn't make weight, I want it back." "(CELLPHONE RINGING, VIBRATING)" "(CELLPHONE CLATTERS)" "RYAN:" "My father hated fighting." "He said it was mindless, Godless violence that only a lobotomized rhesus monkey could appreciate." "(ALVEY SCOFFS)" "He wasn't wrong." "How old were you when your dad died?" "22." "Hmm." "I didn't find out till I was 24." "You didn't find out for two years?" "Year and a half." "I was in Japan." "We never really fucking talked to each other." "(SCOFFS)" "Two years is fucked up." "Yeah, well, man was a stranger to me." "Mine, too." "What?" "The fuck you talking about?" "Father never missed anything." "I didn't know shit about my dad." "He..." "He never talked about himself." "He just..." "He was just pissed off or quiet." "My whole life, I was afraid of him." "Was he around?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "You have a roof over your head?" " Yeah." " Hmm." "He ever hit your mother?" "No." "Never." "He was tough on you." "Yeah." "Fuck yeah." "'Cause you needed it." "Yeah?" "Absolutely." "He loved you." "That's all you need to know." " Hey." " Hey." "You like cilantro?" "No." "Good to know." "Thought you and Jay were cutting weight today." "Yeah, I thought so, too." "But he doesn't want me there." "So I'm just gonna meet him at the weigh-in." "How'd he sound?" "Tired." "I can't believe he's going through with this fight." "You gonna go?" "He doesn't want me there." "It doesn't matter what he wants." "You need to be there." "Yeah, well... he knows where to find me if he needs me." "Okay, I don't care whose fault any of this is at this point." "You guys just need to work your shit out." "He needs to come home." "I don't even know why he's mad at me anymore." "Ask him." "It would help." "(KNOCK ON DOOR)" "Come in." "(DOOR OPENS)" "SHELBY:" "It's me." "What the fuck do you want, Shelby?" "Uh, there's a woman named Roxanne here to see you." "Want me to tell her to fuck off?" "No, no." "Don't tell her to fuck off." "Get me some aspirin?" "Sure." "Shut that." "Thank you." "(SIGHING) Oh, fuck." "(SIGHS)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "Hey." "Hey." "Lisa's not here, is she?" "Her space was empty." "No, no, she's out." "You want to, uh..." "You want to go in my office?" "Uh, you know, I just..." "I think I'd rather just talk outside." "ALVEY:" "You want to sit down?" "It's actually not as bad as it looks." "(SCOFFS) Yeah, uh, no." "I'm..." "I'm not gonna be here long." "(SIGHS)" "You come to put a bullet in my head?" "Pretty much." "Fuck." "Yeah." "I've been saying that all week." "Look, I know this is complicated." "I do." "Shit's gonna settle down." "Alvey." "What?" "I'm done." "I'm not." "(SIGHS)" "You know what?" "Sometimes you just... you got to admit defeat." "Look, you make me happy, okay?" "You're..." "You're the only thing I look forward to." "Well, that's not good." "Y-You know, you hardly even know me, and the more I know about you... it's just one thing after another, and it's just... it just fucking should not be this hard." "What does that mean?" "What, so you just quit?" "Yeah." "I'm not gonna beat my head against a wall for you." "Why?" "There's a reason that your life is like this, and it's too much for me." "That's it?" "That's it." "And please don't call me." "Okay." "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS)" " Where the fuck is he?" " I don't know." "Call him." "I'm calling him right now." "I'm gonna go to the motel." "GARO:" "Eight minutes until weigh-in." "You know what?" "You can push it." " No, we're not pushing it." " Why not?" "Because Ryan's here." "He did the fucking work." "He's not..." "He's not paying the fucking price for Jay's fuckups." "I agree with Alvey." "It's not right." "If he's not here, he's docked." "If he doesn't show up at all, I don't know." "I'll fucking sue him." "You're not gonna fucking sue him." " You're not suing." " Fuck you, I will." " Get him here." " Stop." "Just keeps going to voice-mail." "Fucking guy." "It's just going to voice-mail." "Here he is." " Yo." " Hey." " What the fuck?" " You okay?" "What?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Why?" "'Cause you're late." "What time is it?" "6:58." "So I'm two minutes early." "Two minutes early." "(SIGHS)" "(INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY)" "GARO:" "Ladies and gentlemen, the former King Beast lightweight champion," "The Destroyer, Ryan Wheeler!" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "(AUDIENCE CHANTING "WHEELER")" "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS) 155 pounds!" "(CHEERING)" "And now the current King Beast lightweight champion," "Jay Kulina!" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "(AUDIENCE CHANTING "KULINA")" "150 pounds!" "What the fuck is this?" "Don't worry about it." "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "Jay." "More photos." "No." "I'm done." "LISA:" "Jay, we need them." " Have a great fight." " It's a fucking disaster." "He made weight." "He came in five pounds under, dry as a rhino's cunt." "Did he even train for this?" " It's all fine." " We'll see you tomorrow." "See you tomorrow?" " This fight's happening." " Come on." "(HIP-HOP MUSIC CONTINUES)" "(GRUNTING)" "(DOOR OPENS)" "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Hey." "I thought you'd be drinking by now." "I got to earn that shit first." "(CHUCKLES)" "I'm worried about Jay." "I am." "I-I've never seen him like this." "This girl dying has got his fucking head twisted." "I know." "I don't know what the fuck to do for him." "Alvey, what do I do?" "(SIGHS)" "Nothing." "It's on him." "(SIGHS)" "Okay." "I got some work to do, so I'm gonna..." "Wait, don't... don't..." "It's your place, too." "Have a drink." "One drink with me, okay?" "Talk some more." "You and me will walk out together." "What made you want this?" "I don't know." "Something about him sitting on a shelf with a bunch of unknown crackheads didn't feel right." "You know, he was my friend." "What are you gonna do with him?" "Maybe I'll just throw him in the ocean, you know?" "That seems... ceremonial." "It's definitely deep." "(CHUCKLES)" "What are we gonna do about this?" "About what?" "About you and me and running this place." "We'll work in shifts." "You really think you can show up here every day and not hate my fucking guts?" "Maybe." "Maybe not." "That's a bit of a problem." "(SIGHS)" "I'm not seeing Roxanne anymore." "Aw, did you guys have a fight?" "What happened?" "(CHUCKLES)" "She pointed out that I was obviously in no shape to be in a relationship." "Or hold on to one or even finish one like a fucking man." "Wow." "Ouch." "Mm." "I didn't mean to be harsh." "I'm sorry." "I am... way too tired to fight with you." "I couldn't think about you." "I was a coward." "She was a diversion." "That must've been nice for you." "Is that everything?" "Chicken, brown rice, and oatmeal." "Clippers?" "Ah." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Want me to pick you up tonight?" "I'll drive myself." "I don't mind." "It's not a problem." "I don't want to get there at 5:00 and sit around all night." "It's boring." "I will be there, and I'll talk to him." "Be there by 9:00, all right?" "NATE:" "Feel like you got enough rest last night?" "Mm-hmm." "If you, uh..." "If you feel dehydrated," "I can get Mac over here with a bag." "That's illegal." "Okay." "Here." "Drink this." "Mom's coming tonight." "(SIGHS)" "Look, I know you got a lot on your mind." "I'm not..." "I'm not trying..." "Yeah, I don't have a..." "You know, I don't have a single thought in my mind that makes... a stitch of sense." "Okay." "Then talk to me." "Talk to me." "About what, man?" "Like, all of it." "Ava, the fight, wha-whatever's on your mind." "Just talk to me." "I'm just going through some emotional shit, which I think is, you know, somewhat natural... right now." "Yeah." "Dude." "Can you just please..." "Get the fuck..." "You got to go." " Dude, you got to go." " What are you talking about?" "You got to get the fuck out of here." " Jay..." " Can you just get there for me?" "We're going together." "Set everything up real nice for your big brother, 'cause I'm gonna win this fight, and I need it set up right." "I don't..." "I don't think you're gonna win the fight." " I don't think you're ready." " Well, I think I'm gonna." "And I need you to think I'm going to." "I don't think you're ready." "I'm gonna win this fight." "I'm gonna win." "Just go, though." "Get there early, all right?" "Yeah, yeah." "I'm gonna get there early." "I love you, dude." "But go." "I love you, man." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "♪♪♪" "♪ Some roads that you take ♪" "♪ Some bonds we'll choose to break ♪" "♪ I swore I'd no longer be the pallbearer ♪" "♪ But I carried you to bed ♪" "♪ So you could rest your head ♪" "♪ You were taking off a load, heavy drinking ♪" "♪ The world, it carries on ♪" "♪ Your memories and song ♪" "♪ And your pictures on my wall are not forgotten ♪" "♪ There was hymns that came from mouths ♪" "♪ That turned crosses upside down ♪" "♪ But it came through their teeth with great ease ♪" "♪ And all are bobbing heads in sync ♪" "♪ And all have got a lot on their minds to think about ♪" "♪ But you carry on ♪" "♪ In pictures and in songs ♪" "♪ And the unmade bed you slept in ♪" "♪ Where I laid you down to rest one last time ♪" "♪ Goodbye, dear friend ♪" "♪ Goodbye, dear friend ♪" "♪♪♪" "♪ Some stories break your heart ♪" "♪ And some with such applaud ♪" "♪ Buried deep inside where it's okay to cry ♪" "♪ Some boys won't shed a tear ♪" "♪ Oh, but I tell it like this here ♪" "♪ It can break me down and get me ♪" "♪ Where it hurts the most ♪" "♪ And all are bobbing heads in sync ♪" "♪ And all have got a lot on their minds to think about ♪" "♪ But you, you carry on ♪" "♪ In pictures and in songs ♪" "♪ And the unmade bed you slept in ♪" "♪ Where I laid you down to rest one last time ♪" "♪ Goodbye, dear friend ♪" "♪ Goodbye, dear friend ♪" "♪♪♪" "♪ But you carry on ♪" "♪ In pictures and in songs ♪" "♪ And the unmade bed you slept in ♪" "♪ Where I laid you down to rest one last time ♪" "♪ Goodbye, dear friend ♪" "(CHEERING)" "BELTRAN:" "All right, gentlemen, we've been over the rules already." "Protect yourselves at all times." "Obey my commands at all times." "Touch gloves now if you want." "At the sound of the bell, come on out and handle your business, guys." "Let's go." "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "All right, gentlemen, first round!" "You ready to fight?" "You ready to fight?" " (BELL DINGS)" " Hit it!" "Let's go!" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)" "ALVEY:" "Right there!" "That's it!" "Fight!" "Let's go!" "(AUDIENCE GROANS)" "Stay on him!" "Stay on him!" "Go forward!" "Go forward, you fucking pussy!" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "(AUDIENCE GROANS)" "Holy shit." "BELTRAN:" "Let's go, guys." "Keep your positions, guys!" "Let's go!" "That's it!" "That's it!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "BELTRAN: 10 seconds." "(AUDIENCE GROANS)" "You got to defend yourself!" "You got to show me something." " (BELL DINGS)" " Stop!" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS)" "Hey, hey, turn around." "Turn around!" "No bullshit." "Come on, look at me." "Sit, sit, sit." "All right, look at me." "You are being way too fucking passive right now." "I need you to attack." "Be yourself." "Fucking attack." "Don't leave your fucking left hand out there, all right?" "Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom." "I'm trying to get him to fucking do something." "Just take him down." "Down." "Do you want to be here?" "Do you want to be here?" "Do you want to fucking be here?" "Then fucking show it!" "He's fucking gassed." "Take him down." "Do what you do, all right?" "That's it." "Let's go." "Let's go, Jay!" "You got this." "Breathe." "Deep breaths." "Come on." "You got this, Jay." "You got this." "Let's go!" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "ALVEY:" "Stay on him!" "NATE:" "You got time." "You got time." "Stay on him!" "Follow up!" "Follow up!" "Come on, stay on him!" "Jay!" "Stay in it!" "Get off the face!" "You have to push off!" "Push off!" "Push off, push off!" "You got this!" "Oh!" "He's hurt!" "Finish him!" "BELTRAN: 10 seconds!" "Answer back!" "(BELL DINGS)" "Get back to your corners!" "Get back there." "Get in the corners." " Let's go." " I'm glad you showed up." " Sit down!" " Sit down, sit down." "Come on, Ryan!" "Go, Ryan!" "(AUDIENCE GROANS)" "Cover yourself!" "ALVEY:" "Shot for shot." "Light him up!" "Light him up!" "Light him up!" "Oh!" "Nice!" "Sup!" "Sup!" "Relax, now!" "Relax!" "Lock it in!" "Lock it in!" "(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)" "(BELL DINGS)" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS)" "(AUDIENCE CHANTING "WHEELER")" "Water, water, water." "Look at me." "Jay." "Look at me." "Look." "Don't get fucking caught, all right?" "He's desperate." "He's fucking hurting." "Don't let him out of this fucking round." "You're good." "You're still in this fight, all right?" "Take some water." "Keep working that leg, throw jabs in his fucking face." "Go low, come high with the kick." "You got to fucking knock him out." "You can do this, okay?" "You can fucking do this." "I don't want him leaving this fucking round." "It's over." "BELTRAN:" "Let's go!" "Seconds out!" "Seconds out!" "Take the stool." "Let's go!" "Seconds out!" "Let's go!" "Seconds out!" "All right, 4th round!" "You ready to fight?" "You ready to fight?" " (BELL DINGS)" " Hit it!" "Let's go!" "NATE:" "Get those hands up." "Don't hang that jab out!" "Come on!" "He's done for!" "(AUDIENCE GROANS)" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "(BELL DINGING)" "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS)" "Aah!" "Where's my fucking belt?" "!" "Where's my fucking belt?" "!" "Where's my fucking belt?" "!" "Stay down, stay down, stay down." "Stay down, stay down." "Stay down, stay down." "It's over, okay?" "It's over, Jay." "Stay down." "Listen to the doctor." "(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)" "You good?" "Yeah." "Look me in the eyes." "Look at me." "Look at me." "I'm good." "All right." "Good job." "You did good." "You did good." "Good job." "(BELL DINGS)" "ANNOUNCER:" "Ladies and gentlemen, the official time... 17 seconds of the 4th round." "Your winner by knockout and new King Beast lightweight champion of the world," "Ryan Wheeler!" "(AUDIENCE CHANTING "WHEELER")" "Good job." "KENNY:" "All right, I'm here with Ryan Wheeler." "Ryan, what a relentless performance, man." "This may have been your best performance so far." "What'd you differently tonight, man?" "RYAN:" "For one thing, I got healthy, Kenny." "And, uh..." "And first I got to thank Jay Kulina, man, for giving me this fight." "He's a stud, he's a beast, and, uh... and people don't understand what he's been going through, the stuff he's been facing..." "Thanks, brother." "Thanks, bro." "You're the man, bro." "Thank you." " Hey." " Good work, buddy." " Hey." " How you doing?" "How's Jay?" "They're taking him to the hospital to check him out." "Should we go by and see him?" "Nate and his mother are going." "We'll give him some space." " All right." " He'll be okay." " Okay." " How are you doing?" "Broken toe, I think, but, you know, I'm good." "It was a hell of a fight, man." "Seriously." "That's how you finish it." "(CHUCKLES)" "Pop would be proud." "Yeah." "Hey, listen." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "I want to give you this, Alvey." "I-I can't fucking take your belt." "No, please, Alvey." "I can't fucking take that, man." "Put it in the gym, then." "I want to..." "I want to keep pushing like I don't have it." "I want to, you know, keep hungry." "Here." "You sure?" "Yeah." "All right." "I'll put it in the gym." "All right." "I fucking wish it wasn't Jay." " I wish he was at his peak..." " Ryan." "Fuck you." " Fuck you." " (CHUCKLES)" "Stop." "You're not gonna shit on this fucking win." "You understand me?" "You won the fight, he fucking lost." "Who do you want to be?" "Who do you want to be?" "Me." "You." "(CHUCKLING) Neurotic motherfucker." "Come on, man." "(CHUCKLING) All right." " Enjoy." " Okay." "Alvey." "Yeah?" "Kenny's ready for you." "Okay, I'm coming." "Listen, I'll see you in a couple days." "Enjoy the fucking win." "All right." "Good boy." "Thanks, coach." "Hey." "Hey." "Oh, why, thank you." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Congratulations." "Thanks." "You looked great out there." "Thanks." "I hope Jay's all right." "I know." "Yeah." "Okay, so I should go." "(CHUCKLES)" "What are you doing tonight?" "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "You want to do something?" "It's either you, or I'm going home to stare at a wall." "Thank you." "Nate, could I talk to you a minute?" "Go to Jay's motel, get his clothes." "Bring them home." "It is not as bad as it looks." "I'm okay." "Really." ""Dear Jay." "I know that I've been a disappointment to you." "I know that you feel that I never wanted you." "I see the things that you do and the ways that you hurt yourself, and I know it's because of the choices I've made." "And even when you had the courage to beg me to stop using and just stay home," "I still didn't choose you... because I didn't care if I was alive." "I wanted to die."" ""For a child to feel that they are not reason enough for their mother to live is beyond cruel."" ""I don't expect you to forgive me or even accept my apology." "But I am so deeply sorry for the pain I have put you through, for the innocence I cost you, and for not truly being your mother."" ""I can never love you enough to make up for it, but I'm gonna try."" "But last couple months, like, there was no quality of life at all, so..." "And my dad sure as shit wasn't going in a home." "(CHUCKLES) So, now I guess it was a blessing." "Just..." "But I really do think that God gives people as much as they can handle." "Fuck." "Yeah, okay." "Maybe." "Are you a God person now?" "I took his bible." "I've been kind of reading it." "Not like my dad was some big Christian." "I didn't think so." "(CHUCKLES)" "I wish I could've said goodbye." "I told him for you." "Mm." "Really?" "Mm-hmm." "He was like... "Who?"" "(BOTH LAUGH)" "He was such a dick." "(CHUCKLES)" "You seem really good." "I am now." "Finally." "It took a while." "My dad went on a full mental-health offensive." "Therapists and psychiatrists and grief people." "(SIGHS)" "Full suicide watch." "He was not gonna let me be alone in a room." "Were you thinking about it?" "Killing myself?" "Mm-hmm." "No." "But I do fantasize about being dead with my son." "I don't know why this happened to you." "Sometimes I think I caused it." "That's not fucking true." "No, it is." "I didn't want him." "I thought he was someone that Alvey stuck me with, and he was gonna ruin my life." "I swear to God he felt that." "I know he did." "And it kills me." "But then when we got to San Francisco, that all changed." "It's just..." "It was just him and me, and..." "I fell so in love." "I thought about our whole life, and the way that he would look at me..." "Lisa." "I know." "It just is." "JAY:" "Hey." "Buenos noches." "Well..." "Now you know." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I really don't want anyone to know." "At the gym, or, you know..." "Especially not dad." "That's..." "You know." "You don't..." "You don't think he'll be cool with it?" "(LAUGHS)" "(COUGHING)" "Nate." "It's your life." "It's not for me to say anything." "Are you mad?" "That you're gay?" "No." "That I didn't tell you." "I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't." "Yeah." "But listen to me when I tell you that nothing changes between us." "I swear to God." "Yeah." "Except... you better be on top, because you're my brother and you do the fucking." "You look me in the eyes when I talk to you right now, son." "You understand what I'm saying?" "Look at me when I tell you this." "You better be doing the fucking." "Nathaniel, you're my brother, and there's a certain line that needs to be towed." "Are you done?" "No, sir." "I'm not." "I always knew you were gay." "You got a lot of gay qualities." "I don't have any gay qualities." "You're very gentle." "You smell delightful, you know?" "(SNIFFS) Yeah, you dress well." "But if you turn our house into a Palm Springs pool fiesta," "I'll tell you, I'm moving out." "I love you, dude." "Love you." "Go to bed." "Just go to bed." "(LAUGHS)" " You'll make a real nice nurse someday." " Okay." " Make a nice man very lucky." " Okay." "(LETRA'S "ACÁ ENTRE NOS" PLAYS)" "(BELT THUDS)" "♪ Por presumir a mis amigos les conté que ♪" "♪ En el amor ninguna pena me aniquia ♪" "♪ Que pa' contarle de tus besos me olvide ♪" "♪ Y me bastaron unos tragos de tequila ♪" "♪ Les platiqué que me encontré con otro amor ♪" "♪ Y que en sus brazos fui dejando de quererte ♪" "♪ Que te aborrezco desde el día de tu traición ♪" "♪ Que hay momentos que he deseado hasta tu muere ♪" "(DOOR CLOSES)" "♪ Acá entre nos ♪" "♪ Quiero que sepas la verdad ♪" "♪ No te he dejado de adorar allá en mi triste soledad ♪" "♪ Me han dado ganas de grita♪" "♪ Salir corriendo y preguntar ♪" "♪ Qué es lo que ha sido de tu vida ♪" "♪ tre nosacá en♪" "♪ Siempre te voy a recordar ♪" "♪ Y hoy que a mi lado ya no estás ♪" "♪ No queda más que confesar♪" "♪ ya no puedo soportar ♪ Q" "♪ Que estoy odiando sin odia ♪" "♪ Porque respiro por la herida ♪" "♪ Acá entre nos ♪" "♪ Quiero que sepas la verdad ♪" "♪ No te he dejado de adorr ♪" "♪ Allá en mi triste soledad ♪" "♪ Me han dado ganas de gritar ♪" "♪ Salir corriendo y preguntar ♪" "♪ Qué es lo que ha sido de tu vida ♪" "♪ Acá entre nos ♪" "♪ Siempre te voy a recordar ♪" "♪ Y hoy quado ya no estás ♪" "♪ No queda más que confesar ♪" "♪ Que ya no puedo soportar ♪" "♪ Que estoy odiando sin odiar ♪" "♪ Porque respiro por la herida ♪" "♪♪♪"