"That's a little over 10 pounds." " How much is beaver worth this year?" " $6 a pound." "I'll trade you for a new plow... two tubs of lard, a barrel of molasses, 25 pounds of chewing tobacco... and you wouldn't have a wife under the counter?" "I'm looking for a wife." " Any special brand?" " Well, yes." "I like best a widow woman that ain't afraid to work." "There's seven of us men." "Me and my six brothers." "Place is like a pigsty and the food tastes worse." "So, I made up my mind." "The next time I come to town to trade I'll bring me back a wife." "Well, that's a fine thing, I must say!" "Thinking you could come here and trade for a wife like she was a bag of meal." "No, ma'am." "I wouldn't say that, ma'am." "Let me tell you... none of our gals is going to go off with you... to cook and wash and slave for seven slummocky backwoodsmen!" "There's 10 men for every woman out here." "You want a wife, you'll have to go back east and get one." "You mean there's no unmarried females in this town?" "Good morning, Mrs. Bixby." "We're having a quilting bee." "We thought you'd have some odds and ends." "Well, I'll see." " How about these?" " Now, just a minute." "What's the matter, they're married?" "They're spoken for." "Just spoken for." "You had me scared." "I tell you, they're promised." "A lady can change her mind, can't she?" "Pay him no mind, girls." "Put his things in the wagon, and don't keep him waiting." "I'm in no hurry." "I got all afternoon." "You're wasting your time." "You won't find a girl in this town to marry you." "Never set my mind to something yet, but what I got." "Whether it's plowing 20 acres in a day... or dropping a tree within an inch of where I want it." "I'm here today to get me a wife." "I don't aim to go back home empty-handed." "You're all pretty and fresh and young." "And I'll keep you in mind." "But I ain't deciding on nothing until I look them all over." "Bless yore beautiful hide" "Wherever you may be" "We ain't met yet But I'm a-willing to bet" "You're the gal for me" " Morning, ma'am." " Morning." "Mama, Papa wants you!" "Bless yore beautiful hide" "You're just as good as lost" "I don't know yore name But I'm a-staking my claim" "Lest yore eyes is crossed" "Oh, I'd swap my gun And I'd swap my mule" "Though whoever took it Would be one big fool" "Thanks, Adam." "Or pay yore way Through cooking school" "If you would say "I do"" " Morning, ma'am." " Morning, backwoodsman." "Nice day for marrying." "That's a right good idea." "Oh, Lem!" "I thought you'd never ask me." "Bless yore beautiful hide" "Prepare to bend yore knee" "And take that vow 'Cause I'm a-telling you now" "You're the gal for me" "Pretty and trim But kind of slim" "Heavenly eyes But, oh, that size" "She's gotta be right To be the bride for me" "Bless yore beautiful hide" "Wherever you may be" "Milly, where are you?" "A dozen men in here bellering for victuals and you out chopping wood." "I'm coming." "Pretty and trim But not too slim" "Heavenly eyes And just the right size" "Simple and sweet" "And sassy as can be" "Bless her beautiful hide" "Yes, she's the girl for me!" "Milly, let's eat." "Yeah, let's eat." "Come on, I'm dying of hunger." "You'll all eat now." "Don't fret." "Just give me time." "Nobody can cook like Milly, eh?" " When are you gonna marry me, Milly?" " Next week, Sam." " She's gonna marry me, ain't you, Milly?" " What would your wife say, Tom?" "Anything you'd like?" "Could be." "But first, I think I'd better sample that cooking." "Harry!" "Oh, I am sorry." "That's all right, Milly." "Awfully sorry." "That smells good enough to eat." "It tastes good, too, so they tell me." "Got any ketchup handy?" "My stew can stand on its own feet." "Good?" "Good." "My name's Adam Pontipee." "Odd name, I must say." "I live up in the mountain, got a farm up there." "Have you?" "Good farm and a house on it." "There's timberland, high grazing meadows... sheep, milk, cows, 50 acres of wheat." "Only thing it ain't got, it ain't got a woman." "How about it?" "How about what?" "I just told you." "How about marrying me?" "I know, it's kind of short notice." "Back east we would have met of a Sunday leaving church." "Six months later I would've..." "I would've asked you, "Could I walk you home?"" "Next two, three years I would've sat in your front parlor every Wednesday night." "Finally, I would've asked your father, could I marry you." "But here there's not time." "I've gotta be home tonight to tend to my stock." "It'll be another five months before I get down again with my grain." "You gonna keep me waiting all that five months just for your pride?" "I'd have to finish my chores." "I knew it the minute I set eyes on you, you were the gal for me." "I'll go get cleaned up and root out the preacher." "Bless her beautiful hide Wherever she may be" " Where's the preacher's house?" " Down the street, next to the church." "Thanks, Pop." "She's the gal for me!" "Now, I'll say it plain, Milly, and to your face." "I don't like this marriage." "Oh, Reverend." "I don't know you or anything about you, and I feel responsible." "Milly's like a daughter to us." "We're her only family." "But, Reverend, ever since I came here, you've been after me to marry." ""A girl had no right to stay single," you said." "The country needed to be settled." "We meant you to marry one of our young men, Milly." "You had your pick of them." "I tried." "Again and again, I tried." "I'd say yes to one of them, but then... an awful sinking feeling would strike me right here and I couldn't do it." "When I said yes to him..." "I waited for that feeling, but it didn't come." "I feel just fine." "I feel so good I could cry." "I think it's wonderful!" "Love at first sight." "Alice!" "What kind of talk is that?" "You're determined, Milly?" "Yes, Reverend." "Then step forward." "Take her hand in yours." "Repeat after me:" "I, Adam Pontipee..." "I, Adam Pontipee take this woman to be my lawfully wedded wife." "...take this woman to be my lawfully wedded wife." "Where's she going?" "Never did like them Pontipees." "Now I know why." "Ma!" "He done it!" "He got a wife!" "It's Milly." "It's indecent if you ask me." "One lone woman with seven scroungy backwoodsmen." "Bless yore beautiful hide Wherever you" "Guess I'm not much of a bride with only this for an outfit." "You'll find a trunk in the attic belonged to my mother." "There's things there if you're handy with a needle." "I'd like that." "I'd like to be wearing something that belonged to your mother." "My mother left me these." "They're packets of seeds for a flower garden she meant to plant out here." "And my father left me these." "Plutarch's Lives and the Bible." "He taught me to read by them." "I hope that maybe someday I can teach our..." "How far is it up to the farm?" "About 12 miles." "Imagine... on my way to my own home." "I feel so wonderful I could yell." "Go ahead." "Hooray!" "That's Echo Pass." "It ain't safe to raise your voice in the winter." "Might start an avalanche." "I cussed my horse too loud one February and we got snowed in till spring." "Most people think that'd be pretty lonely... but I can stand some loneliness after the inn." "Reckon I'd better water the horses." "My wedding bouquet." "Sorrel?" "It makes real nourishing soup." "Always back at the inn when I'd hear all the men yelling for their dinners..." "I'd think how wonderful it would be to cook and care for one man." "Just one man." "Now that it's happened, I can't hardly believe it's true." "Ding dong, ding-a-ling dong" "Were the steeple bells ever quite as gay?" "Wonderful, wonderful day" "Bluebirds in the bluebells" "Sing a song to send me along my way" "Wonderful, wonderful day" "Though I've got to own up" "I'm as grown-up as can be" "Seems I've gone and flown up" "To a bright, merry" "Airy fairyland" "And so you'll forgive me" "If I simply throw out my chest and say" "Beautiful, glorious" "Heavenly, marvelous" "Wonderful, wonderful day" "Big clouds floating lazy" "Like a daisy in the sky" "Big things to be doing by and by" "Going, flowing" "Growing things" "Big love for my darling" "As we share whatever may come our way" "Beautiful, glorious" "Heavenly" "Marvelous" "Wonderful, wonderful day!" "This is my brother, Caleb." "How are you, Brother Caleb?" "My wife, Milly." "Your wife?" "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!" "Hey, Eph, Dan, he done it!" "He got married!" "This is my brothers, Ephraim and Daniel." "How are you, Brother Ephraim, Brother Daniel?" "Which one is Ephraim and which is Daniel?" "Me." "And this here's Benjamin." "How are you, Brother Benjamin?" "You didn't tell me you had brothers." "Well, must've been the wedding threw it out of my mind." "Do you all live around here?" "Not around." "Here." "I guess I should've picked some more sorrel." "This is the house." "Oh, my!" "What a nice, big room." "Well, it might need readying up a bit, but now that you're here..." "Come on, wake up!" "Wake up and meet your sister-in-law." "This is Frank." "How are you, Brother Frank?" "And this here's Gideon." "You can drop that spoon." "We'll have some human cooking for a change, now that she's here." " Are there any more?" " Nope." "Gideon's the last-born." "It'll take me a while to put the right name with the right brother." "Well, just remember your ABC's." "Adam, Benjamin, Caleb, Daniel, Ephraim, Frank, and Gideon." "They're fine-sounding names." "Bible names." "That was Ma's idea." "The ABC's, that was Pa's, so he could keep track of us." "He was thinking on using the whole 26 letters right down to Zachariah... but he got a look at Gideon here and chopped a tree down on himself." "There's one of the names in the Bible I don't seem to remember." "Frank." "Is Frank a Bible name?" "That ain't his real name." "We just call him that for short." "His real name is Frank..." "Just pay them no mind." "I'll show you around." "Can't you stop them?" "You'll get used to that." "What happened?" "Was it something I said?" "No." "Frank's just touchy about his name." "There was no "F" names in the Bible, so Ma named him Frankincense... because he smelled so sweet." "Like I was telling you, upstairs is the bedroom." "Down there's where the boys bunk." "Follow me, I'll show you the rest." "This is the washroom." "We're kind of hard on clothes, so there'll be a lot of washing and mending..." " but now that..." " That I'm here." "This is the kitchen." "You'll find flour in that jar right there." "There's salt pork over there." "Get out of here, all of you." "Do you expect her to get supper with you underfoot?" "Come on, all of you!" "Get out of here!" "You, too, Gideon!" "You'd find wood down the path there... and the water's right outside the front door." "There's the dinner bell, so ring it loud when you get the supper ready." "What'd you do that for?" "You, all of you, falling on the food that way!" "Haven't you any decency to wait for grace?" "You don't even know what I'm talking about!" " What's the trouble?" " Look at your brothers!" "The victuals must be good." "All right." "If you're gonna act like hogs... you can eat like hogs!" ""Neither cast ye your pearls before swine..." ""lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."" "It's about time for you boys to turn in." "Got a big day of plowing ahead tomorrow." "It's 9:00 already, an hour past your bedtime." "Yours, too." "Well..." "I'm getting a mite sleepy at that." "Who is it?" "It's Adam, your husband." "Come in, Adam." "Good night, boys." "I thought you'd be in bed." "Did you?" "It's been a right busy day." "You must be kind of tuckered out." "That's right." "Shall I turn down the covers?" "You can if you like." "But I'm not going to bed." "You don't want a wife, Adam." "You want a cook, a washerwoman, a hired girl." "A hired girl's got a right to a sleeping place of her own." "Reckon that's so." "All the way up in the wagon you let me talk... make a fool of myself talking about you and me." "You should've stopped me." "Maybe I should've... but it sounded real pretty." "Besides, if I'd have..." "If I'd have told you beforehand you might not have married me." "And I wanted you to marry me, Milly." "I wanted it real bad." "Sure you did... 'cause I was young and strong and there was lots of work in me." "That's partly true." "It's a hard life out here in the forest and wilderness." "There's trees waiting to be felled... land waiting to be plowed and fenced, stock to be fed." "A man wants a wife who can work alongside of him." "Of course... if she's got eyes that are bluer than cornflowers... and hair the color of wheat in the sunshine... he counts himself real fortunate." "I'll work alongside you, Adam... but I'm not sleeping alongside you." "She wants a drink of water." "She's thirsty." "Have a drink." "What are you doing?" "Bedding down for the night." "Don't know what the birds see in it." "Somehow it don't seem fitting for a bridegroom... to spend his wedding night in a tree." "It's your idea, not mine." "I guess I was pretty mad, Adam." "I built up such a store of dreams." "Dreams about love... and marriage and such." "When you're in love" "When you're in love" "There is no way on earth to hide it" "When you're in love" "Really in love" "You simply let your heart decide it" "With every sigh" "With every glance" "With every heartbeat you confide it" "You'll want the world to know it, too" "When you're in love" "As I'm in love with you" "I know how it is with your brothers." "You being the head of the house and all." "I wouldn't want you to lose face." "All things considered... maybe you'd better come back in." "Bacon." "Fresh-made coffee!" "Hot bread!" "It's Milly cooking." "Adam must've told her what was what." "Oh, it sure smells good." " I'm hungry." " I feel like I haven't ate for years." "Where's my pants?" "Where's my shirt and pants?" "I'm looking for my own!" "Who did it?" "Who hid them on me?" "All I've got's my boots." "Good morning, my brothers." "If you're looking for your outside clothes, they're drying on the line." "I came in before and got them." "I couldn't get your inside clothes, so I'll take them now." "Our underwear?" "Your winter underwear that you're sleeping in." "Hand them over, 'cause you won't get your clothes... or food or nothing till you get all cleaned up... and shaved." "Where's Adam?" "We wanna talk to Adam!" "He's out plowing." "He had his breakfast a half an hour ago." "I got hot muffins waiting... crisp bacon, hotcakes, steak... fired potatoes, fresh ground coffee." "Do I get that winter underwear, or do I have to come in and take it off you?" "Don't listen to her?" "She wouldn't dare." "Oh, wouldn't I?" "All right, you'll get it." "I didn't know last night I'd married into such a handsome family." "You know, you're mighty good-looking boys." "Well, you are, every last one of you." "What you been doing, going around hiding behind those whiskers?" "Afraid some girl will see you and run off with you?" "Why haven't I ever seen you at the dances or at cornhuskings at harvest time?" "Don't you like girls?" "We ain't never hardly ever seen one." "You got a big sister now that's gonna see that you do." "You wanna eat?" "Well, then." "Oh, Lord, thou has brought us through desert... mountain and wilderness to a good land... a land of wheat and game where we need never hunger." "We thank thee, oh Lord, for thy loving care and thy bounty." "Amen." " Amen." " Amen." " Frank?" " After you." "Thank you." " Where you going, Milly?" " I've got to go to town, Gideon." "The flour barrel's getting low, and I've worn a broom and a scrub brush through." "I'd better go along and help you tote them." " What's going on?" " We're going to town." "I reckon I'll go along, help drive." "I'll drive." "Hey, Milly's going to town!" "Hey!" "Let's go with her!" "You boys sit here and wait." "Gideon will help me." "And don't forget, mind your manners." "Hey, look, girls!" "Quick, say something." "Care for a chaw of tobacco?" "What's going on here?" "That oaf insulted us." "No such thing." "All he did was offer them chaw of..." "It's dang good tobacco." "It is, huh?" "Hey, it's us!" "My window!" "Stop it, Benjamin!" "Stop it this minute!" "Don't just stand there!" "Do something!" "What for?" "There's only three little ones." "Stop it!" "Do you hear?" "All right, Milly." "It's stopped." "You get in that wagon." "Get!" "What did I do wrong, Milly?" "First off, if you want to get a girl, you got to learn how to talk to her." "I'll show you." "I'm a girl." "You meet me coming out of church." "You raise your hat." "What's the matter, Caleb?" "My hair ain't combed." "Well, next you gotta say something nice." "Gideon, say something nice." "Nice night for a coon hunt." "You get out of here." "Get!" "You're beating your head against a stone wall." "You'll never make jack-a-dandies out of them." "You pay him no mind, 'cause you're all gonna be just fine." "Besides, it's a whole month before the barn-raising and the picnic." "But there's one thing you gotta remember:" "You're gonna have a lot of competition... 'cause every one of those girls has five or ten fellas buzzing around them." "We'll clean them out first thing." "Yeah, the whole lot of them." "No, that's one thing you mustn't do!" "If they want to act like a pack of hyenas, let them." "You gotta be above such things." "You gotta act gentlemanly and well-spoken." "Show the girls you have some etiquette." "Eti-what?" "Like I showed you at the table." "When you meet a girl, don't grab her like she was a flapjack." "Hold off for a while." "Offer her your arm." "When you got her alone, steal your arm around her." "You gotta court a girl to get her." "You gotta call her "my darling"..." ""my dear"..." ""my precious," "my pet."" "Going courting, going courting Oh, it sets your senses in a whirl" "Going courting, going courting Duding up to go and see a girl" "Oh, it's fun to hunt and shoot a gun Or to catch a rabbit on the run" "But you'll find it's twice as sporting Going courting" "Is this what you mean?" "It's what I mean." "Now there's lots of things you gotta know" "Be sure the parlor light is low" "You sidle up and squeeze her hand" "Let me tell you, fellas, that it's grand" "You hem and haw a little while" "She gives you kind of half a smile" "You cuddle up, she moves away" "Then the strategy comes in to play" "See what I mean?" "Going courting, going courting If you find it hard to break the ice" "Going courting, going courting Here's a little feminine advice" "Roll your eyes and heave a little sigh" "Grunt and groan like you're about to die" "That is what's known as emoting Going courting" "How about sparking?" " Parlor sparking?" " Yeah." "And you're longing for a fond embrace?" " What about petting?" " And sofa-setting?" " Suppose she ups and slaps your face?" " Yeah!" "Just remember "blessed are the meek" Don't forget to turn the other cheek" "Pretty soon you'll both be larking Going sparking" "Going dancing" "At a fancy ball or minuet" "May I?" "Going dancing You'll impress them with your etiquette" "Now, you two try it." "Come on." "You mean men are learning how to dance?" "Yes, it came direct from Paris, France" "It will help with your romancing Going dancing" "Come on now, you follow us." "Turn." "Down-up." "Turn." "Down-up." "Come on, this way." "Step to the right." "To the left." "Make a turn." "Now, weave in and out." "I love dancing!" "Hey, Milly!" "Now, boys!" "Keep your dancing!" "And hunting!" "And shooting!" "And fighting!" "And trapping!" "'Cause we're going courting!" "The cleanest fingernails I ever saw." " What happened to your thumb?" " I soaked it in lye." "Took off the dirt, all right, but it dang near took off my nail with it." "Oh, I'm so proud of you, all of you." "Now, just remember one thing:" "Mind your manners and be real gentlefolk." "And no fighting, no matter what happens." "What's holding you up?" "If we're gonna go to a barn-raising, let's go." "Come on!" " Who are they?" " I don't recall seeing them before." "They're strangers to me." "Seven of them!" "And all as tall as church steeples!" "It's Milly!" "Milly!" " Where're you going?" " To see Milly!" "I just love Milly!" " I want to see Milly!" " I'm gonna say hello!" "Looks like them Pontipee brothers." "Milly!" "Alice!" "Mil, I've missed you so." " Oh, Milly, it's been months." " Don't you look wonderful!" "Haven't seen you for ages!" "Oh, I've missed you all so much!" "I baked some things for the collation." " Did you?" " Oh, we'll take them over." "I'd be pleasured if you'd allow me." "Why, thanks." "We'll all help." "I couldn't let a little lady like you heft that." " Can we help?" " Please." "Allow me." "If you'll just follow me." "To the ends of the earth." "Afraid that's all." "I'm sorry, that's all." "May I escort you back?" "You know, you're the prettiest girl I ever acquainted." "May I escort you to the ball, ma'am?" "Well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn some manners, too." "What do I need any manners for?" "I already got me a wife." "Come on, everybody!" "Get your partners!" "There's gonna be dancing." "Faster!" "Take him, Dan." "Come on, Dan!" "Go ahead!" "Oh, Dan!" "Caleb!" "Come on, Caleb!" "Come on, Caleb!" " All right, Frank!" " Come on, Frank!" " Come on, Frank!" " Come on, Frank!" "You got him now!" "Come on!" "Neighbors, may I have your attention?" "All you folks that have come from far and wide..." "Henry here wants me to thank you for coming to help him raise his barn." "Thanks, folks." "And he thanks the ladies for all the fancy victuals." "Since the barn's got four sides, there's going to be four teams." "The team that gets their side up first wins the little heifer." "Henry, show them Annabel." "Now, get your teams set up, neighbors, and lets see who wins the little lady." "Adam, we could use her on the farm." "How about it, boys?" "Mr. Perkins, put the seven of us brothers down for one team." "Milly says she's taken a fancy to Annabel." "You hear, boys?" "That was Adam Pontipee." "Last time he came to town, he bragged how he always got what he set out for." "And danged if he didn't." "He's a hard one to beat, I'm warning you." " Don't worry." " We'll handle them." "That's the spirit." "We got a team all set up here, Pete." "And here's your fourth, Pete." " That's fine." "Got your hammers and all?" " Yeah!" "Then take your positions." "The sooner you raise the barn, the sooner you get the victuals." " Are you ready?" " Yeah!" "Let's go!" "Come on, Adam." "Come on, Frank." "My fault." "Sorry, I shouldn't have had my hand there." "What happened?" "Nothing." "Caleb, get that board up there." "Now what happened?" "I stubbed my big toe." "Come on, let's get going." "Hey, Frank, get those sideboards up here." "Hurt yourself, Frankincense?" "Well, come on, let's go!" "What's wrong with you boys today?" "Just a little dizzy spell." "Hold it!" "Take it easy!" "He didn't drop that hammer." "He threw it!" " We don't want no fight!" " We promised Milly." "We're gonna keep it calm, so don't start anything." "Come on, we're way behind now." "She's made you into a bunch of momma's boys." "They're out to murder you, and what do you do?" "Apologize for living!" "You're a disgrace to the Pontipee name!" "You're a bunch of lily-livered, chicken-hearted, lick-spittles." "Serves you right!" "I hope they break your necks!" "All right, Gideon, let's go!" "Why're you doing that?" "He ain't done nothing!" "Boys!" "Stop the fight!" "Witch hazel." "Split lip." "Don't smile for a few days." "Next." "Two beefsteaks." "Frank?" "A kick in the pants." "Next?" "A loose tooth and swolled-up knuckles." "A wonder you have any teeth left at all." "Witch hazel, please." "I'm sorry, Milly, honest." "But when that fella took after Adam, an innocent bylooker..." "I understand, Gideon." "You all did your best, I guess." "Good night, boys." "Good night, Milly." " Good night, Milly." " Good night, Milly." "I feel awful strange-like, Milly." "Here." "If it's what I think ails you, Gideon, witch hazel's not going to help." "Alice is sweet, isn't she?" "Good night." "What's the matter with you?" "Somebody butt you in the breadbasket?" "No." "I felt this way even afore the fight." "Ever since I seen Alice." "Adam?" "Yeah?" "Do you reckon I could be in love?" "Well, Pa used to say, love's kind of like the measles." "You only get it once." "The older you are, the tougher it goes." "Young fella like you ought to get it kind of light." "No, I guess not." "I don't know as I can answer your question, Gideon." "But according to Milly, and she's had a heap of book-learning:" "When you're in love" "When you're in love" "There is no way on earth to hide it" "When you're in love" "Really in love" "You simply let your heart decide it" "How can you tell" "What's in its spell" "How can you tell until you've tried it" "Wait for that kiss you're certain of" "And let your heart decide" "When you're in love!" "I guess I got the beginnings." "But them townspeople will never let us court them gals now." "Not after today." "Don't let it fret you." "If you don't get this one, there'll be another to come along." "One woman's pretty much like the next." "Come on, let's go feed the stock." "I'm a lonesome polecat" "Lonesome, sad, and blue" "'Cause I ain't got no" "Feminine polecat" "Vowing to be true" "Can't make no vows" "To a herd of cows" "I'm a mean old hound dog" "Baying at the moon" "'Cause I ain't got no" "Lady friend hound dog" "Here to hear my tune" "A man can't sleep" "When he sleeps with sheep" "I'm a little old hoot owl" "Hooting in the trees" "'Cause I ain't got no" "Little gal owl fowl" "Here to shoot the breeze" "Can't shoot no breeze" "With a bunch of trees" "It is beautiful, isn't it?" "Not to me." "I've seen too much of it." "I'm getting out." "Why, Benjamin!" "I'm not gonna spend another winter here, snowed in for three, four months." "What would we do without you?" "We'd miss you so." "There's plenty here to take care of the farm without me." " Adam." " Yeah?" " Benjamin says he's leaving." " What?" "He says it's the winter, but I know it's not that." "He's grieving for his girl." "They're all grieving for their girls." "Why grieve for them?" "They hardly saw them more than once." "Once is all it takes if it's the right one." "I had such dreams about all of them living around... dozens of babies and children... visiting back and forth at Christmas time and birthdays." "If Benjamin goes, then another will go... and another." "I'll talk to him." "If you could just get a look at yourselves." "You look like a bunch of lovesick bull calves." "If you're so sweet on those girls, do something about it." "Why don't you go marry them?" "Sure, just go marry them, as easy as that." "They'd never let us marry them, not in a thousand years." "Then do like the Romans did with the "sobbing women"... or, "Sabine women" or whatever they called them." "Those Romans were in the same fix you're in." "They was opening up new territory, women were scarce, just like here." "And there were these "sobbing women" in town, so what did the Romans do?" "They went down there and they carried them off." "Now, if you can't do as good as a bunch of old Romans, you're no brothers of mine." "'Course, this being Oregon and God-fearing territory... you'd have to capture a parson along with them." "Hey, them Romans... they the ones settled up north of here?" "No, this was in olden days." "I read about it here in Milly's book." "Oh, a book." "Why, this is history!" "This really happened." "Tell you about them sobbing women Who lived in the Roman days" "It seems that they all went swimming While their men was off to graze" "Well, a Roman troop was riding by And saw them in their me-oh-my" "So they took them all back home to dry Least, that's what Plutarch says" "Oh, yes, them a-women was sobbing Sobbing, sobbing fit to be tied" "Every muscle was throbbing, throbbing From that riotous ride" "Seems they cried and kissed And kissed and cried" "All over that Roman countryside" "So don't forget that When you're taking a bride" "Sobbing fit to be tied From that riotous ride" " So, then what happened?" " Gather around, I'll tell you." "They never did return their plunder The victor gets all the loot" "They carried them home, by thunder To rotundas, small, but cute" "And you've never seen, so they tell me Such downright domesticity" "With a Roman baby on each knee Named Claudius and Brute" "Oh, yes, them a-women was sobbing Sobbing, sobbing, passing them nights" "While the Romans was going out Hobnobbing, starting up fights" "Is that so?" "They kept occupied by sewing lots Of little old togas for them tots" "And saying, "Some day, womenfolks Will have rights "" " Passing all of their nights" " Just sewing" "While the Romans had fights" "Hey, listen to this." "When the men folk went to fetch them The women would not be fetched" "It seems when the Romans catch them Their lady friends stay catched" "Right!" "Now, let this be because it's true A lesson to the likes of you" "Rough them up like them there Romans do Or else they'll think you're tetched" "Oh, yes, them women were sobbing Sobbing, sobbing buckets of tears" "Mighty sad!" "On account of old dobbin, dobbin Really rattled their ears" "And that ain't all Oh, they acted angry and annoyed" "But secretly they was overjoyed" "You might recall that When corralling your steers" "Oh, oh, oh, them poor little dears" "What are you sitting there for?" "Let's go get them." "Oh, yes, them a-women was sobbing Sobbing, sobbing, weeping a ton" "Just remember what Robin, Robin Robin Hood would have done" "We'll be just like them there merry men And make them all merry once again" "And though they'll be a-sobbing for a while" "Oh, yes, we're gonna make them Sobbing women smile!" "Whoa, there!" "Go get them." "Be quiet about it." "I'll wait for you here." "Dan!" "Eph!" "Your two's in here." "They're coming out." " Good night, Liza." " Good night." "Hey, you got mine." " How about my good night kiss, Sarah?" " Oh, Carl!" "You're so persistent." "Be a sport." "Just one kiss." "Maybe just a little one." "Close your eyes." "Why, Carl!" "Frank!" "What are you doing?" "Put me down." "That a boy, get them in." "Come on, Frank." "Where's Gideon?" "I hear the cat outside." "I'll go, Mrs. Elcott." "Poor Pansy, out on a night like this." "Hurry it up, will you?" "Sounds like Pansy has the croup." "I'll look out in back." "It's all right, Alice, she's here." "Dorcas!" "Pa!" "Pa, come quick!" "That a boy, Gideon." " What's keeping Benjamin?" " I don't know." "Keep them quiet." "Let's go!" "Come on!" "Hey, there, come on!" " Sarah Kines!" "She's gone!" " So is Alice." " Ruth Jebson, too!" " Where's Dorcas?" "It was them Pontipees." "The whole seven of them jumped me!" "Come on, we'll get them." "Make them stop that yelling." "We're coming to the Pass." "Keep them quiet or we'll have an avalanche down on us." "All right." "Here we go." "Hold your breath." "Keep her quiet!" "Hurry up, Adam." "I can hear them coming." "All right, let them go!" "There she goes!" "On account of old dobbin, dobbin Really rattled their ears" "All right, boys, line them up." "Milly!" "Milly!" "What have you done?" " Milly, help us, please!" " Milly, we've been kidnapped." "Make them take us back!" "You take these girls back at once, do you hear?" " Can't." " There was an avalanche." "I guess they'll just have to wait till spring." "It was your idea, wasn't it?" "I'd say it was more yours." "It all came out of that book about them "sobbing women."" "What kind of men are you, anyway?" "Are you animals that you'd do a thing like this?" "Swooping down like hawks, carrying off poor innocents." "They're just young boys in love, that's all." "Didn't you tell me today you wanted them all married with wives of their own?" "I want my mother!" "Please don't cry, Alice." "I'm sorry, honest... but it was the only way I could get to marry you." " Adam!" " What?" "We forgot to get the parson!" "Now, don't worry." "Go on in the kitchen." "Nothing's going to happen." "Cheer up." "You've got them, haven't you?" "Everything's going to turn out all right." "This house is for the girls... and you're not gonna set foot in it as long as they're here." "You're gonna eat and sleep in the barn with the rest of the livestock." "Now, get out of here." "I'm ashamed of you." "Go ahead, boys, go on." " Now, Milly..." " You, too!" "You're taking this too hard." "It'll work out fine." "Me and the boys'll get a parson here some way." "Do you think those girls would marry them now?" "You think because you got a wife so easily... 'cause I didn't make you court me and coax me, that that's all there is to it." "I said yes to you 'cause I fell in love with you... the first time I saw you standing there." " I thought it was the same with you." " Milly..." "You think a wife is just to cook and clean." "You got no understanding, you got no feelings." "How could you do a thing like this?" "When I think of these poor girls, sick with fright... and their families crazed with worry..." "I can't abide to look at you!" "This isn't exactly the way we'd planned on spending the night, in a barn!" " What do you think you're doing?" " Getting out of here." "Going up to the trapping cabin to wait out the winter." "You can't do it, Adam." "You can't stay up there alone." "The cabin's got enough supplies for six months." "Don't go, Adam." "It's us she's mad at." "It's more than that." "It's something goes a lot deeper." "Suppose you get sick... or break a leg or something, up there all alone?" "And the wolves are mighty bad this year." "The wolves will seem like good company after what I've just been through." "Nothing like a nice, hot cup of tea when you're all tuckered out." "Milly, it's me, Gideon." "I gotta speak to you." "Oh, Milly!" "Please, Milly, don't open the door!" "What is it?" "It's about Adam." "He's going away up into the mountains, up to the trapping cabin." "Milly, can you hear me?" "I hear." "If you'd just speak to him, ask him not to go." "Please, Milly." "He's gotta learn he can't treat people this way." "Now, Eph, let's start here." "You afraid of a little snowball?" "Snowballs with rocks in them!" ""Them poor little dears, sobbing buckets of tears."" ""When the sign was given, drawing their swords..." ""and falling with a great shout..." ""they ravished away the daughters of the Sabine."" "Who is it?" "It's me, Caleb." "What do you want?" "It's a mighty cold night, Milly." "I need an extra blanket." "Go and get one." ""It continues the custom to this day..." ""for the bride, not of herself, to pass her husband's threshold..." ""but to be lifted over..." ""in memory that the Sabine women were carried in by violence."" "Who is it?" "Benjamin." "What do you want?" "My leg is feeling poorly." "I need some liniment." "Go ahead, but be quick about it." "Yes, Milly." ""Some say, too, the custom of parting the bride's hair..." ""with the head of a spear was in token of..."" "I got me a stiff neck." "That's enough of this nonsense." " We just wanted to..." " Look, Milly..." "Go on out to the barn, all of you." "Go to sleep, or I'll bolt the door on you." ""...was in token of their marriages." ""It began at first by wars and acts of hostility..." ""and then..."" "Doesn't it do anything but snow up here?" "We've had a blizzard every day for the past two months." "I'm going crazy, shut up in this house!" " Alice, why don't you read out loud to us?" " No." "We've heard that book three times already." "Yes, go on." "Read us about the "sobbing women."" " Please, Alice." " I can't stand it again." "Then go get the dress Milly promised, and I'll fit you." "What's the use when there's no one to see it?" "No one?" "Well, I like that!" "We're no one." "Where's Milly?" "Out in the barn, hunting eggs." "I wish I could hunt eggs." "I love to hunt eggs." "Which boy slept in this bed, do you suppose?" "Dorcas Galen!" "What's the matter?" "Didn't you ever think of that... that you're sleeping in one of their beds?" "Well, I certainly never thought any such thing." "Liza, Alice." "Come away from that window this minute." "I think it's disgusting standing there where they can see you." "I notice that you peek out often enough when you think no one's looking." " I never!" " I saw you!" "So did I!" "You take that back!" "You hear?" "How could you dare say a thing like that about Martha?" "And what were you doing last night, out at the woodpile?" "Oh, you!" "Girls!" "Girls!" "Girls!" "Stop it this minute!" "Dorcas!" "Alice!" "Alice, get up!" "Girls, please don't squabble." "Not now, not when I need you so much." "You see, I'm counting on all of you to help me." "'Cause I'm gonna have a baby." "Milly!" "Come sit down!" "Are you comfortable?" "You're not going to lift a finger from now on." "We'll take over everything." "We'll do your chores, cleaning, cooking, everything." "No, really." "That'd be silly." "Where are you going?" "I have a few things to do." "When's the baby coming?" "You have to be patient." "But when?" "In the spring." " I wish it was me." " Dorcas!" "I've always wanted to be a June bride... and have a baby right off." "In the spring, maybe." "Oh, they say when you marry in June" "You're a bride all your life" "And the bridegroom who marries in June" "Gets a sweetheart for a wife" "Winter weddings can be gay" "Like a Christmas holiday" "But the June bride hears the song" "Of a spring that lasts all summer long" "By the light of the silvery moon" "Home you ride Side by side" "With the echo of Mendelssohn's tune" "In your hearts As you ride" "For they say when you marry in June" "You will always be a bride" "The day a maiden marries Is the day she carries through the years" "The church is full of flowers Bridal showers are passé" "The groom 's waiting at the altar Here comes the bride" "They're each promising to love and obey" "Best man is celebrating Every bridesmaid's waiting just to see" "Which one of them will catch The wedding bouquet" "For they say when you marry in June" "You will always" "Always be a bride" "In November the snow starts to fly" "Piling up, ankle-high" "Come December it's up to your knees" "Still a bride's a bride-to-be" "January, higher still" "Through the parlor windowsill" "February finds a drift" "And a storm that seems never to lift" "March comes in like a lion, what else" "Still the snow never melts" "April showers will come, so they say" "But they don't and it's May" "You're about to forget the whole thing" "All at once, one day it's spring!" "Oh, the barnyard is busy In a regular tizzy" "And the obvious reason Is because of the season" "Ma Nature's lyrical With her yearly miracle" "Spring, spring, spring" "All the hen-folk are hatching While their menfolk are scratching" "To ensure the survival Of each brand-new arrival" "Each nest is twittering They're all baby-sittering" "Spring, spring, spring" "It's a beehive of budding son And daughter life" "Every family has plans in view" "Even down in the brook The underwater life" "Is forever blowing bubbles, too" "Every field wears a bonnet With some spring daisies on it" "Even birds of a feather Show their clothes off together" "Sun's getting shinery To spotlight the finery" "Spring, spring, spring" "From his aerie the eagle With his eagle eye" "Gazes down across his eagle beak" "And affixing his lady with a legal eye" "Screams, "Suppose we set The date this week?"" "Yessiree, spring discloses That it's all one supposes" "It's a real bed of roses Wagging tails, rubbing noses" "Each day is Mother's Day The next is some other's day" "When love is king" "Frank, Dan, Ben, Caleb!" "Everybody!" "Milly's having her baby!" "Liza, Martha, Ruth, hurry!" "Hurry!" "I'm an uncle." "Adam!" "Hey, Gideon!" "Couldn't stand the barn any longer?" "I've come to get you, Adam, take you back with me." "Yeah?" "Well, Milly has a baby." "It come day before yesterday." "I don't believe it." " It's as true as I'm standing here." " I don't believe it!" "Just one of her tricks to get me back." "Tricks?" "You lived with Milly as man and wife, and you don't know nothing about her." "She's got pride and she's spunky." "She'd never bring herself to ask you back." "She'd be wasting her breath." "I don't figure to go." "Not even to see the baby?" "Your own kin?" "Your own little girl?" "A girl?" "I might've known she'd have a girl." "I'll be back when the Pass is open." "And I'll stay away till the shooting's over." "Adam... you're my eldest brother." "I've always looked up to you, tried to ape you... but today I'm ashamed for you." "Now, I know you can lick me, lick the tar out of me... but I wouldn't hold myself no kind of man unless I showed you how I felt." "Now, get!" "The Pass is open!" "The Pass is open!" "All able-bodied men gather at the Meeting House." "Bring your rifles, your knives, your guns, axes, any kind of weapon!" "The Pass is open!" "The Pass is open!" "Are you ready, men?" "Yeah!" "Let's go!" "Well, what are you staring at?" "I told you I'd be back when the Pass was open." "The Pass?" "Milly!" "What are we going to do?" "Go upstairs, girls." "Go on." "Quickly." "Let's get the guns." "Tell them to hitch up the wagon." "The wagon?" "Put plenty of blankets and straw in it." "Go ahead." "What do you call her?" "I was thinking of some name like..." "Hannah or Hagar or Hephzibah." "Picking up where your mother left off." "Hannah." "I got to thinking up there in the mountains... thinking about the baby." "About how I'd feel if somebody came sneaking in and carried her off." "I'd string him up the nearest tree... shoot him down like I would a thieving fox." "I thought about you, too, while I was up there." "It seemed like I couldn't get you off of my mind." "Milly, when you're in love... when you're really in love..." "The wagon's ready, Adam." "All right." "Now, get the girls." "I want to take them back to their families." "Oh, Adam!" "Adam, you will be careful?" "We're not letting you take them back, Adam." "We've talked it over amongst us, and we're all agreed." "They ain't going." "They're our girls now." "I say I'm taking them back." "I'm still head of this family." "Then I reckon you'll have to show me." "Likewise." "What do I have to do, beat some sense in your dumb heads?" "Taking them back is the only way you'll ever get them." "The whole town's coming up here." "Let them come!" "We'll fight them all." "Sure." "Sure you will." "And who'll you be fighting?" "The girls' kinfolk." "Someone's bound to get hurt, a father, a brother, maybe." "Think they'll marry you after that?" "Adam's right." "I stand with Adam." "Well, don't stand too close." "Adam, the girls have gone." "They've run away!" "Go get them, get them back!" "Go on!" " Ruth!" " Dorcas!" "Come back here!" " Sarah, where are you?" " Ruth!" "Dorcas!" "Come back!" "You'll get hurt!" "Now, let's keep it quiet." "They can hear us from here." "We'll creep up on them." "Alice!" "Please, Alice!" "Martha, where are you?" "Come back, Martha." "Don't run away." "I'm not going back!" "I want to stay with you!" "You've got to." "It's the only way." "I won't!" "No!" "It's Alice!" "Come on, Ruth!" "Hey, there they are!" "Let me go!" "No!" "Let me go!" "Don't!" "You'll hit Dorcas!" "Oh, no!" "Not that!" "Grab her dress, Ben!" "In the barn!" "Ruth!" "Why, Pa!" "Get up!" "Alice!" "Get off of her!" "What are you going to do to him?" "We're going to hang him with the rest of them from the nearest tree." "Just a minute!" "Before we go, there's one thing we've got to know from our girls." "Girls!" "Girls!" "Now, Reverend, what is it you want to know?" "We're all fathers here, and we love you, so don't be afraid to answer." "A while back I heard a wee babe crying in the house." "Whose is it?" "Whose is it?" "Don't be afraid to tell." "Mine!" "Do you, Alice, Ruth, Martha, Liza, Sarah, Dorcas... take these men to be your lawfully wedded husbands?" "We do." "Do you, Benjamin, Caleb, Daniel, Ephraim, Frankincense, Gideon... take these girls to be your lawfully wedded wives?" "We do." "I now pronounce you men and wives."