"ALL MY LIFE" "Cairo, 2001" "Good morning." "Good morning." "Rami ..." "I have to go." "Why?" "it's the weekend." "I mean ..." "I'm not going to see you again." "You're not going to be able to see me?" "What do you mean?" "It's a joke, right?" "I ..." "Look, Rami ..." "Things have changed for me." "We can not continue as before." "What has changed?" "I changed?" "I ..." "There is another man?" "No!" "It's nothing like that." "Anyway ..." "Well, it is!" "But there is another!" "I mean, there is no other man." "Today I go with mom to meet Manal's parents." "Manal, my office co-worker." "Dalia!" " Yes, Rami." "Where were you?" "I spent the morning trying to find you!" "Meet me and I will tell you." "I'll be in the café in ten minutes." "Okay, I'll go right away." "Well, what happened?" "Sherif and I have broken!" "Dalia, sorry." "Are you ok?" "I do not know, but it's better that way." "Anything else, miss Dalia?" " No, thanks, Attef." "I also think it's better that way." "It was not good enough for you." "And you will find a new prince." "You sound like my mother." " It seems that we all agree on that." "You're right." "It was a good decision." "And I also made another one." "Rami ..." "I am leaving." " You want to sit somewhere else?" "No." "I mean I'm going to leave this country." "I'll emigrate." "Are you crazy or what?" "You don't emigrate after a failed love affair!" "Why do not you want to understand?" "It has nothing to do with Sherif!" "You know I just got a scholarship." "I will teach and finish my doctorate." "I want to get away from all this shit I have to face." "I want to be myself." "I do not want to feel like a stranger all the time." "Don't you feel like a stranger when you leave your country and you dive in a culture different from ours?" "You call this culture?" "I leave my home as if there will be war here." "Here there are just frustration, harassment and fundamentalism." "Forget all our problems and summarize our lives in just two words:" "Covered women!" "This has never been our culture." "And you know it." "I feel like they confiscated what I am." "I don't want that all my life." "We are in the same boat." " No, not in the same boat, baby." "You can not imagine how it feels." "You do not face what I face every day simply because I am a woman." "I face it too ... for being gay." "But you're a man." "With all their privileges - as long as you keep up appearances." "The solution is not to flee." "You should fight!" "What do you say, dear?" "When did you fight?" "They have stopped me in demonstrations and I have spent nights in jail." "While you were at home singing, "I'm free ..." "I am Egyptian!"" "I'm tired of fighting." "I can not anymore." "No more fighting, it's just fighting windmills." "Are you going to leave me alone with windmills?" "You have Walid." "Fight against what you want." "No one will stop you." "Walid?" "Walid left me this morning." "Calm down..." "I'm coming!" "It's time for you to wake up, sleeping beauty" "Come in." "You'll wake up the neighbors." "What neighbors?" "Oh, you mean Ahmad?" "Man ..." "He wakes up every day for the morning prayer." "Right?" "You should already be awake!" "How come you're up so early?" " It's just not so early, your majesty!" "You did not say hello?" "Did not welcome me?" "Is there no "reception" by my arrival?" "Sorry, my queen." "Are not you ashamed?" "Treating me like a stranger." "I'm the last to know." "What is it?" "'Secret divorce', ha?" "I could not fulfill my social obligations!" "Social obligations?" "What social obligations?" "I would have shown in front of everyone that he was playing with the girl's feelings!" "Taking away the best years of your life!" "Are you here so early to say that?" "No, of course not!" "I made a substitution tonight at the hospital." "I just left." "I thought we could go out for breakfast." "Come on, let's go." "By the way ..." "How do you know that Walid has left me?" "A little bird told me." "Have you seen the dress of Salma?" "What?" "She is wearing a tight white skirt." "You can see through her red panties." "Look!" "Do you see?" "What a shame." "She is wearing a hijab." "Do women in hijab have no desire?" "My God, help me." "Are you going home?" "Take me." "No, I'm going to practice." "I do not understand those shows that you do." "Would not it be better to try to dance on television, where you get paid, instead of these amateurs dance companies." "Okay, Mr. Hatem!" "By the way, I have a date tonight with a gorgeous woman." "I'll connect you with her sister." "A real beauty, to die for." "I'll ask her to bring her sister and ..." "No, I have a commitment." "Maybe some other time." "Some other time?" "Again!" "You're always busy." "Wait!" "Rami, Rami." "1, 2, 3 ... and turn." "1, 2, 3 ... and turn." "1, 2, 3 ... and turn." "Well everyone!" "Why do not you come with me?" "It would change you and we will be together." "No thanks." "I like my life here." "It's me who is to convince you to stay." "Do not try to turn the tables!" "Miss Sabrina!" "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "How do you know my name?" "I do not talk to strangers." "I'm not a stranger, Miss Sabrina." "I'm here in front of your school only to see you for an instant." "Since I saw you near the mosque," "I can not sleep." "In every prayer, I pray the Lord in his glory to make us live together in a three-piece." "What do you say, Miss Sabrina?" "I have no say in those things." "Talk to my dad." "What the hell?" "This is today's role model!" "And you want me to stay?" "In all sincerity:" "Would you marry a girl who says:" ""I have no say in those things"?" "The truth?" "Even if she said she had a say" "I would not marry her." "Did you forget that I don't like girls?" "You think I'd let you go then?" "It's getting late." "I have to meet my family, before going to the airport." "You see, my daughter!" "That's what happens to the girls who do not listen to their parents and think for themselves ..." "It is shameful!" "Hello Karim." "Who is this hot guy?" "Will you introduce me?" " You are caught, baby." "This is Mark, my boyfriend." "This is Ashraf, a friend." " Nice to meet you." "He is cute." "I wish I could speak English like you." "You beautiful." "How lucky some are." "Oh yes, ma'am?" " Yes, my mother." "Nothing, dear." " Or something happens, honey?" "Shut up, doll!" "Seriously, girl." "You are very lucky." "Who was that guy with you in the café?" "Rami?" "He's just a friend." " A friend?" "I understand." "You don't." ""You don't"." "Why?" "I'm not good enough, or what?" "Or what?" "No, honey, it's not you." "It is he who has problems." "Obsessions." "Mercy!" "Protect us of all evil!" "Charms and amulets." "Obsessions?" "As if I needed more!" "Until then, dear." "Who was that?" "A friend of a friend." "A friend, huh?" "Let's call Rami and ask him to join us." "He said he doesn't want to come." "He is an adult." "I know, but I do not want him to be alone." "Hello, Rami" "Yes Karim, what do you want?" "Maybe you've changed your mind." "You still don't want to come?" "No thanks." "Tell him he is missing all kinds of cute guys." "Tell yourself." "Hi Rami," "Yes, it's wonderful here." "Lots of cute guys, all in one place, available, single and waiting for you." "Thanks Mark." "I'll pass." "Say hi to Karim ... and tell him to stop stalking me." "Ok." "Thanks." "Bye." "What were you doing, Mina?" "Nothing, just studying." " In the dark?" "I met Father Tadros today." "He said that you have not been in the church lately." "Do not forget our Lord, Mina." "Go to church tomorrow after school." "Ok." "Put on your shirt, you'll catch cold." "Good morning friend!" "Good morning." "Have you read the papers?" "And now what?" "Wait, it's huge." "I have to sit down and tell you." "They have arrested a new satanic cult!" "Not again!" "They had already put an end to all this ..." "Do you still believe those things, Hatem?" "No, this time it's completely different." "They caught a bunch of queers in a nightclub called "Queen Boat"." "When was that?" " Last Thursday." "Well, here it is:" ""55 perverts arrested"" ""The homosexual perversion is the ultimate satanic ritual."" ""The suspects include physicians and university students."" "I have to pee." "Wait, I just started reading!" "Anyway, do not be too long." "I will read you the whole article." ""The number you are calling is temporarily unavailable." "Please call later."" " Shit!" "The phone that you called is temporarily unavailable." "Damn!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "I swear!" "It's true!" "Dr. Karim was in the "Queen Boat" when they arrested those perverts." "All the hospital is talking about it." "He jumped into the Nile and swam to the other side." "That makes no sense!" "Were they in the boat with him?" "And how did they see him swim?" "It's true." ""For indeed the suspicion is a sin" as Islam says ..." "It's for the sermon." "If Dr. Karim is so innocent, how did he leave?" "Did you see that he was unshaven?" "I bet he was about to shit his pants." "It is horrible." "Dr. Karim, good morning ... we were..." "Do not you have work to do?" "We are bringing the instruments." "What else you expect us to do?" "Go do something useful then rather than stand there gossiping." "Dr. Karim, Safaa has a large mouth but also a good heart." "Okay, Latifa." "Back to work." "Do not apologize more for me, please." "Good afternoon." "I am a friend of Dr. Karim, Karim El-Said." "And what do you want from him?" "Welcome, sir." "Dr. Karim is inside." " Thanks." " Follow me please." "Unbelievable." "Dr. Karim, there's someone here named Rami El-Masri." "He says he is your friend." "Let him in." "Karim," "I worried about you." "Why you have disconnected the phone?" "Do not you have work to do?" "Have you read the paper today?" "And what they have written on the "Queen Boat"?" "Were you there?" "yes or no?" "I know since Thursday." "Mark was at the club when the police arrived." "They arrested the Egyptians, let the foreigners go." "And you?" " I left just before the raid." "I told you not to go to such places!" "This is not the time." "That night, you wanted me out there." "Good thing you did not go." "You were right." "You're always right." "I told you not to deal with those people." ""These people" who?" "Kinky?" "Fags?" "Wake up!" "Do you think you're not one of them?" "Calling yourself "gay" makes you better?" "Do not you also open the ass in bed as "those people"?" "Karim, what is that?" "You never told me that." "I never thought that you would say what you just said!" "Judge people, Like others!" "Karim, I am not judging anyone." "But if they had not challenged the government and society this would not have happened." "What?" "Do you blame them?" "Do you believe what the newspapers say?" "You know very well that they are inventing." "Listen:" ""Imitating the West" and "Emulating Abu Nuwas"." "In the same sentence!" ""New Religion" "Espionage with Israel"" ""Foreign funding"." "It's a detailed list of all possible charges!" "Directly extracted from a book titled" ""Running a dictatorship for Dummies"" "It is as if we are back in the Middle Ages, only instead of Inquisition, we have state security courts." "But there is no smoke without fire." "If these people ..." " Again! "These people" again!" "I am part of "that people" as you say ... queers." "If I had not left then, now I would be one of them." "That's why I told you not to go, and that's why I did not go." "Those people are always oppressed." "They are living with fear and guilt for something they never chose." "That was the only place where they could be themselves, without having to wear a mask, with people who understand them." "I'm in the same situation but I respected myself and I have never given any chance to ..." "Give us your blessing, Saint Rami!" "And where did you meet Walid, eh?" "You introduced us!" "He was your friend." "I picked up him in Harry's Pub!" " I would not do it." "You will see ..." "Sooner or later I'll meet someone in a respectable manner." "Are you going to use a matchmaker?" "I do not know yet!" "But you'll see." "How are you doing, Rami?" "It was sad to know that you have not talked to Karim since more than a month ago." "I obviously do not understand why." "I will not ask anything, let me know if you want." "But no matter what happened between you two, you'll never find a friend like Karim." "I'm fine." "I began my studies in the university and life is beautiful." "I live my life as I want, without complications." "I feel like I'm back to childhood:" "Time of innocence and recklessness." "I do not really want to go back." "But I miss the relationships between people." "Simplicity, friends and family and other good things." "But there are so many things I would miss here." "Like freedom." "The freedom to say what I think without fear of oppression." "The freedom to speak against the government" "They are protected and not repressed by the police." "Oh Rami," "Freedom of expression and protest at the highest levels because it is my right." "Without me being qualified as a "threat to national security"" "The freedom to write what I want without being fired from the university." "Rami, you do not know what it is to feel safe knowing that you will not be arrested without a reason, that you will not be falsely accused just because they do not like your looks or because you have no contacts." "I walk down the street with my head high." "You will be surprised to know that I used to walk down the street with my head down to prevent any kind of harassment." "From "Hey sweetie"" "to "I want to fuck!"" "I found how I remember Cairo." "I found my way by the cracks in the sidewalks." "I remember Cairo not by the places and houses but by the wrinkles on its face." "Just as a woman you have to fight morning to night." "And even in dreams." "Yet I can not forget Egypt." "Maybe it's because I I miss you all." "I feel terribly lonely here." "Write me." "Dalia." "Have you seen what's happening in the case of homosexuals?" "Not again." "First they published their names and addresses." "Now they print photos of their family members." "Is not that unfair?" "It is unfair." "Those poor men, is not their fault to be that way." "It is that what you think of it?" "Well, let me explain." "They were abused as boys." "And when a man is fucked a worm is put in the ass that keeps itching until he is fucked again." "They should cure those poor ones instead of locking them." "Where did you get that?" "It is a well known fact." " Well-known?" "That's it, I'm going home." "Hello Egy-Guy" "Hello" "ASL?" "What?" "Age / sex / location?" "26 / male / Cairo" "26 yummy!" "And you?" "26 / male / Cairo" "Good" "Status?" " Single lol" "How big is your dick?" "Goodbye" " Wait" "Goodbye" "I've waited" "I've waited" "During years" "I've waited" "During years" "I've waited" "I've waited" "Hello Egy-Guy" "Hello" "You were upset with me last time" "No, I'm just not into cyber sex." " Me too." "I was just trying to make a conversation." " Cool." "I actually want to find someone to fall in love with" "Me too, but it seems impossible" "Who knows ..." "It may be someone very close, but you can't tell" "Good afternoon." "Good afternoon." "Do not you remember me?" "Sorry, you look familiar ..." "I am Attef." "Miss Dalia, Mr. Karim and you used to go to the coffeehouse where I work." "Ah, yes, now I remember." "Miss Dalia sent me a postcard from San Francisco." "Oh yeah?" "Yes, Miss Dalia and I are friends." "We used to talk a lot in the café." "She describes the people and the city." "I can show it to you if you want." "God willing." "I come here often, I like it here." "I see the ancient citadel and the city from up here." "And you?" "Sometimes, when I want to be alone." "I do not understand why people want to be alone, but there are so many things I do not understand." "I do not want to bother you." " I did not say that." "I will leave you now, but I would like to see you again." "I'll be here tomorrow at the same time." "God willing." "Have a good day." "Have you heard the latest on the fags?" "Why are you so interested?" "What the newspaper published interests me because I am an intellectual," "and it is in all the papers in this days." "Listen:" ""Satanist perverts examined by forensic ... "" "Meaning that they could not prove anything." "Now they want to make everything fit." "Listen to this:" ""The 52 defendants were examined by forensic specialists to detect the AIDS virus and evidence of perverse practices in their group."" "Do gays only get AIDS?" "Listen to this!" ""After the medical examination it has been found that the accused were used sexually with irrefutable evidence." "It showed no doubts that 17 of them had been repeatedly penetrated and ... "" "Enough!" "They lie when they say people "will not catch AIDS"." "Wait!" "What?" "You have not said how you can contract AIDS if it is normal." "Why do you always run?" "How are you, Ahmad?" "Hello, Khadra." "How are you, Mr. Rami?" "I'm ok." "Rami, for every ten emails that I send you respond to me with a line." "I need to talk to you or to Karim." "Lately, I've been asking many questions." "What has happened to us, a society that has surrendered?" ""The modern feminist movement in Egypt..." ""Dates back to the 19th century." ""Thus, the high point of the movement" ""Was the shift from social to political activism in the 20th century" ""Huda Sharawi and Siza Nabarawi" ""They were the driving force behind the 1919 Revolution" ""Which ended the British colonial rule."" "Today I gave my students a course about feminism in Egypt." "I felt so insignificant ..." "How is it possible that our mothers succeed in all this and we ourselves have let it collapse?" "They fought for us and paved the way and we have left the reactionaries destroy their images." "We just watched or fled like rats." "When I talk to my students about our role in life" "I have the impression of talking about things that I failed." "I feel like a hypocrite." "When I see that they did everything they could to combat the backwardness of society" "I feel like I would have given up too soon." "Rami, and do not know what I'm doing here." "The only thing I see at this time is I have to do my part in the fight against backwardness." "I do not know what I can do here." "My desire to return to Egypt is getting bigger." "Tell me what you think." "International campaign of perverts against Egypt" "Are you married?" "No." "But you have a girlfriend?" "No, I'm gay." "Gay?" "You're the first gay Egyptian I've ever met." "There's plenty of us" "You just need to look..." "harder" "How long have you been here?" "A few days." "But I've been coming here twice a year." "For six years." "I love bisexual oriental cultures like this." "What do you mean, "bisexual"?" "I mean all men here have sex with other men." "You know!" "No, I do not know and do not think so." "I'm going to call for drinks." "Can I have two beers sent up please?" "The local brand is fine." "No that's it." "Thanks." "Look, you understand, men they just experiment with each other and then they get married." "And then find each other and experiment again." "Anything else, sir?" "What's your name?" "Hani, sir." "Heyne?" "Hani." "Honey." " Yes sir" "Have you been working here long, Hani?" "About three years, sir." "Are you happy here?" " Yes sir." "Are you married, Honey?" "No sir." "But I'm engaged." "That's nice." "Are you getting married soon?" "Soon sir, I'm saving." "We both are." "You should be making a fortune in this big hotel." "I wish, sir." "Let me ask you   How much do you make?" "Around two hundred pounds, sir." "But I make much more from my tips." "Two hundred pounds, that's like ... $ 50?" "Anything else, sir?" "What else would you be willing to do to make some more money?" "I wish I could do something else, sir." "So ... what if I ...?" "... What if I offered you this?" " Thank you sir!" "But you have to do something for me first." " Anything, sir!" "What if I ask you to suck me off?" "Sorry, sir, I can't." "Well ... if you can't ..." "What if I suck you?" "Sir, I ..." "I ..." "I'll do it, sir." "Rami?" "I can't believe!" "How are you, Karim?" "It depends ..." "Do you really care about it or you're just being nice?" "Sorry, I did not call before going." "Do not say that!" "You just called me ..." "oh ... two months ago!" "I know I was wrong." "I do not know what to say." "There is nothing to say." "When I look in the mirror and I do not recognize the person I see." "I feel my life is falling apart." "I feel miserable, dirty, a filthy worm." "I've done things that I never thought I would." "Karim, I am lost." "I do not know what came over me." "All my life, I've had an image of myself." "It may not be a true picture, but it's the only picture I have of me." "All my life I thought I was strong." "Instead I've noticed I'm just a straw in a heap." "My strength came from my friends, but now I'm alone." "Everyone has abandoned me." "You can not blame anyone but yourself." "It is you who has forgotten your friends." "You're right but I do not want to hear it now." "Rami, Rami ..." "Rami, wait!" "What's wrong?" "Nothing ..." "Nothing?" "Like I don't know you inside and out." "You're not yourself." "I don't know, I'm just a little distracted" "You don't love me anymore?" "It's not that." "I'm just stressed out" "Work, home and stuff." "Stressed out about work?" "We both know that's bullshit." "I've heard that line before." "Next is going to be..." ""We seem to have lost that little spark," or" ""We need to be more creative in bed ... "" "And then it's going to be ..." ""I think we need to see other people ... "" "Why is my baby so insecure?" "I told you there is nothing to worry about." "Then level with me." "Since when do you think about work when we are together?" "It is not just work." "It's everything." "It's everything in my life." "That's not all ..." "What happened?" "Rami paid me a visit last night." "He was a mess, and I was not very supportive." "Well ..." "Don't be too hard on yourself." "He wasn't very supportive of you either." "Isn't he the one who walked out on you and wouldn't return your phone calls?" "He was always supportive to me." "I'm the one who was hard on him." "I'm the one who pushed him away." "I have to go home before sunset." "Karim," "I can't live like this anymore." "I can't just watch you collapsing every day." "I can't live in fear of you being arrested, you or anyone of our friends." "I want to leave, and I want you to come with me." "I can't just leave." "This is my home." "I love it, and ..." "And what?" "And I can't let those bigoted right-wing closed-minded people win." "They want us out of here, and if we abandon the country, the ship will sink." "Maybe ... you can do more good away from here." "Where you're not all tied up and muted." "You can't speak out, you can't act" "If you do, you'll be thrown in prison." "And then what good you'll be able to do?" "It's late." "I have to go and check on my mom." "She's expecting me" "Well, then I'll drive you home." "It's okay, I'll take a taxi." "No, please." "I want to drive you home." "Good night." "Wait." "Mark, I'm really sorry about tonight." "So am I..." "But I have to talk to you about something." "What?" "You know my contract is ending in two months." "Yes, you told me they want you to renew the contract." "I have to let them know by the end of next week." "So?" "I'm not staying here any longer." "I want you to come with me." "I can't" " Yes, you can!" "There are several ways that you can come with me." "Yes, as your spouse." "You know I don't have that right." "But at least we don't have to be afraid anymore." "Did you forget how you were treated back home because of being gay?" "Do not tell me there is less homophobia there than here." "Alright, I won't say that." "But at least you'll have some rights." "We could go to San Francisco." "It's different there." "And your friend Dalia is there." "Mark, I can't just escape from being a minority here to be a minority inside another minority." "Come on." "But we'll be together!" " We can still be together here." "It's not safe here." "Nothing is going to happen to you!" "You are a foreigner." "Yes." "They let me go because I'm white." "You think I can live with that?" "You think I can take that guilt?" "Do you know how I've been feeling since that night I saw them arrested at the "Queen Boat"?" "I can't sleep." "They were arrested because they were gay!" "I am gay too!" "The only reason I was not arrested is because I carry a foreign passport." "I do not want to live with nightmares and guilt." "I do not want to see you arrested." "Mark, I can't just leave." "I can't." "At least think about it." "Promise me." "Good night, Mark." "What were you doing with that faggot in the car?" "He's a friend." "He has brought me." "Just a friend?" " What do you mean?" "You had a suspicious behavior." "We were talking like normal people." "Talking about what?" "And how do you know him?" "He is working in a school with a friend of mine." "And he fucks you from time to time?" "What are you talking about?" " Change the tone, boy." "Or we will take you to the police station, motherfucker." "Show me the card identity, queer." "A doctor!" "God bless us!" "So you're a respectable man ..." "So why do you take it up the ass?" "We can take a look at the station." "Mahrous wait there for a moment." "I will check if he has drugs." "Look, buddy." "You are a doctor, respectable with good money, and you have a bright future." "Although people of your type disgust me," "I do not want to hurt you." "That is worth something, right?" "This is all that I have." " Okay, okay." "Disappear now, before I change my mind." "Good morning, Mr. Karim, Good morning, Mr. Rami." "Attef, good morning, how are you?" "One coffee please." "I need my dose." "And hot chocolate for Mr. Rami?" " Yes please." "Here's the postcard Miss Dalia sent me." "I have it in my pocket, since I told you about it." "I waited in the same place, but you did not come." "I never said I would." "I know." "It's just that I wanted to see you" "Anything else?" "No thanks." "You naughty boy!" "What's between you two?" "Nothing." "As if I would believe." "Have you slept with him?" "Of course not." "Why "of course"?" "He's gorgeous." "If I was not with Mark I would hunt the fly." "I swear, there's nothing." "He seems interested." "Think about it." "So what do you think?" "Shall we meet?" "I do not know." "Why not?" "We have many things in common." "And we both are looking for love." "I have to go ... see you." "Need more?" "It will end my turn." "No, Attef, I've been waiting for you." "Do you want a ride home?" "We could talk on the way." "Really?" "Are we going to sit somewhere?" "Where?" " Wait, I'll show you." "It is not prohibited to be down here?" "Nothing is allowed!" "That does not mean that we can't do it, right?" "Well, we have to respect the law." "Who made the laws?" "No man like you and me, right?" "When you are entitled to vote on legislation then I will respect it." "How did you know I was gay?" "What does "gay" mean?" "It means:" "This." "Would you like some tea?" "Wait!" "It's my first time." "We do not have to, if you want." "I want to, but be careful." "Can I ask you an embarrassing question?" "Embarrassing?" "After what we have done?" "It's about what we've done." " Go." "Don't you have a problem with what we've done?" "Is there a problem?" "No, I'm just confused." "It took me years to accept myself." "You do not even know gay people." "You not even know what that "gay" means," "But you're okay with these things." "How do you want me to feel?" "I'm happy for the "stuff" between us." "Maybe I did not know the word "gay"" "but it is not the first time I feel that way." "My friend Makram was the dearest in the world to me." "I never gave a name to my feelings for him, and even when we did things together in secret, we never discussed it." "Where is Makram now?" "In a monastery" "When we grew up, we kept doing it but he always felt guilty and scared." "And you?" "A little, but I loved him, and I never thought that what I had among us was wrong," "We were not doing anyone any harm." "Why love is an abomination but hurting people is ok for everyone?" "And then what happened?" "Then he left." "I waited for his return." "He went back ... and I waited again." "Until he joined a monastery and I moved to Cairo." "So what did you mean when you said it was your first time?" "It is the first time I let someone enter me." "Why me?" "Because you were already inside me." "Because I love you." " Beware ... they'll see us." "I do not care about people." "You're crazy ..." "Come on, come on." ""Inside the Queen Boat courtroom"" ""Morality on trial"..." ""The international angle" ..." "Hello, at this time I can not assist you." "Leave me a message." "Goodbye." "Karim ..." "I am glad that I got your voice mail." "It would be too hard to face you and ... say what I want to say." "I'm gonna say it anyway." "Karim, I don't think that we should see each other anymore." "Ashraf?" "I want to get used to not seeing you before I go home." "I ..." "Weren't you in the "Queen Boat" that night?" "I left a few minutes before the raid." "Thank God." "I wish you all the best." "I'm going to San Francisco for good." "I'm leaving after the exams," "I've already told the school that I'm not renewing my contract." "Karim ..." "Karim, I'm not breaking up with you because I stopped loving you." "I'm doing it because I do love you, and it hurts that you don't know." "It hurts that you prefer to stay here while it's not an option for me anymore." "Karim, I still wish you change your mind and come with me." "I still love you." "I love you." "Goodbye." "I have to go." "Where?" "I ..." "Sorry." "Hello, Mark." "Hello." "I do not think it's a good idea." "I mean it would be better if ..." "Mark, I love you." "I love you." "I love you too." "What are you doing, Mina?" " Mina!" " Yes!" " Mina!" " Yes!" "Good evening." "Tonight I'll take you to the opera." "To the opera?" "Yes." "But first put this on." "A suit?" "With this heat?" "What about my clothes?" "Bring your suit and tie to attend the opera." "Agreed." "I've also brought something." "It is a Ramadan lantern." "Happy Ramadan!" "Same to you." "Rami!" "I can't believe!" "Hello Walid." "Manal," "Meet Rami, one of my dearest friends." "Manal, my wife." " Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "This is Attef, a friend of mine." " Nice to meet you." "Same to you." " Excuse me, I'm going to powder my nose." "What do you think of the opera tonight?" " It's very good." "What about you?" "What do you think?" "Sorry, I do not understand." "I asked what you thought of the opera." "I did not understand a word!" "But it is obvious that their lungs are good!" "Interesting." "By the way ..." "Your suit looks better on you." "Do not be rude." "The second act begins." "Excuse us." "Come on." "The opera will begin." "Ah, I feel that the happiness of love has faded forever." "Never again will you return, happy hours in my heart." "To my heart." "Never again will you go back to my heart." "See, Tamino," "You see these tears flow just for you." "just for you." "If you do not feel the call of love ..." "I find peace in death." "If you do not feel the call of love ..." "If you do not feel the call of love ..." "I find peace in death." "I find peace in death." "In death." "In death." "Have I done something to upset you?" "No, why do you say that?" "You have not said a single word the whole way home." "I was just concentrating on driving." "You were ashamed of me before your friend, is that it?" "Why do you say that?" "Since we met him, you are no longer the same." "No, that's not true." "Look, Rami." "I may not speak English or French, and I have never been to the opera, but I can still hear and see clearly." "And tonight ..." "Attef, not now." "As you like." "Do you want to come to my place?" " No." "I have to work tomorrow." "It's okay." "Before I leave, I want to tell you something ..." "Go on." "No matter, ... Next time." "Hallelujah!" "Ashraf ..." "Pretend you do not know me." "The police are watching me." "See you at seven in the El-Kheima café" "Oranges, Mr. Ahmad?" "Oranges, Mr. Ahmad?" "I'm late." " No problem." "What happened?" "I was detained for two weeks in Tahrir Square." "What were you doing?" " Nothing!" "They had a reporter who told them that I'm gay." "And then what happened?" "They beat me and insulted me for three days," "I was given an ultimatum:" "go to prison with a false accusation, or become an informant." "And you agreed to become an informant?" "What would you have done in my place?" "Refuse, of course." "Wait." "Look at this." "I always carry it with me." ""A thief fell from the roof of the police station "" "How is it related to what we are talking about?" "The thief called Sultan was my friend." "He was arrested for being gay like us." "Sultan tried to protect his boyfriend, he refused to confess." "He was tortured to death before five of his friends." "Police threw him off the roof and they claimed that it was a suicide." "Do you think any of your friends could do anything?" "If you become an informant, do you really think they are going to leave you alone?" "I know." "In a couple of weeks there will be rumours that I am informer and when I am no longer useful to them they will put me in jail with a charge." "Well, if you already know ..." " Being that?" "My only chance is to go out of the country before it happens." "And the people on which you have informed, what is their crime?" "And what is mine?" "Sultan wanted to be a hero and got three lines in the newspaper." "I do not know what to say." "I came to you for help." " What?" "I want to go abroad." "If you need money, of course, I can ..." "No." "I need a visa." " A visa?" "I can not help you with that!" "Why not?" "Your boyfriend is American." "Yes, but he can't do it." "It depends on the embassy." "So you do not want to help." "I want to, but is not in my hands." "Ashraf." "If you see me again, watch yourself ..." "Damn you, bitch." "You've tempted me, bitch." "Help me, Mr. Rami!" "This crazy man is going to kill me." "Whore!" "In the name of God, Most Powerful and Most Merciful" "I seek shelter with the Lord of the mankind" "King of mankind, God of mankind" "From the mischief of the whisperer who hides away who whispers into the hearts of mankind" "Among the jinns and the men." "If you are from two different classes of course it won't work." " But I feel sorry for him." "What am I going to tell him?" " Just avoid him." "Do not call him." "Eventually, he'll figure it out" "I wish you a great day!" "Thanks, I have to go now." "And now that?" "Did you hear about Sanaa and Shawqi?" "No, and I don't want to know." "Go tell Ms. Camellia or Ms. Effat." "No, women are just gossiping." "Sorry." "Well, goodbye." "Hey!" "So, out of sight, out of mind?" "Dalia!" "I miss you." "Sorry, I was busy." "Have you seen those online videos about police brutality in Egypt?" "The one who posted them was wrong." "They damage the image of Egypt." "Damage the image of Egypt?" "How long do you want people to suffer and be silent?" "Egypt is not the government." "Being against the government's position will save the image of Egypt." "Learn about what they did instead of judging so quickly." "Am I who judges too quickly?" "Whatever his crime, no one deserves to be humiliated like that." "Do such things never happen in the US?" "They do." "But in secret." "Because they know they would pay a price if they are discovered." "But in our country, nobody cares because they know the government is aware, approves of it and even encourages it." "Rami has left the chat." "At last you are gonna meet me." "Yes." " You won't regret it, you know!" "We'll see." " When and where?" "At El-Kheima at 4:00 o'clock" "Ok." "See you." " Wait ..." "How am I gonna know you?" "I'll be wearing a white shirt and blue jeans." "Rami," "It's Walid." "If you're home, answer me." "I have something important to tell you." "Hello, Walid." "What?" " I miss you." "That's what was so important?" "Rami," "I'm still in love with you." "When I saw you with that guy at the opera," "I was very jealous." "I want us to be together." "And your wife?" "Do not compare it with my wife." "You know very well that this marriage is merely a social convenience." "But it's you who I love." "Walid, you just lost the respect I felt for you." "Rami, wait!" "Manal?" "Rami," "I don't know how to begin." "I don't know what I've done to deserve this treatment." "I'm still the same, I'm still me." "I'm not writing to apologize or promise that I will change." "All I want to say is ..." "I love you." "That's all I can offer." "I wish you accepted me as I am ..." "Since that night at the opera," "I have the impression that the whole city rejects me because you reject me." "That's why I'm leaving." "I'll take the train tomorrow at 4:15, that will be the last time you see me." "If you want." "Attef." "Hi, Rami?" "Where are you?" "Call me ..." "I want you to talk to Mark and me." "I'll go with him." "I left the hospital." "I'll tell the details when you call." "Bye." "Rami?" "Rami?" "Where are you?" "Pick up the phone." "I've been trying to find you." "I rejected the offer of the University." "Anyway, I've already purchased the ticket home." "I arrive on Friday at 5:30 Cairo time." "Goodbye, Rami!" "Manal!" "Rami El-Masri?" "Yes." "Join us!" "Start a new statement, Ramadan." "Name?" "Be friendly, Said." "Do you think you are dealing with a man?" "What's your name, faggot?" "Why have you arrested me?" "Are you playing the fool?" "Don't you know why you're here?" "For a friendly talk, you bastard!" "Ramadan, write this:" "Today, November 24, 2001, the suspect has been questioned." "To the question "What is your name?" he responded ..." "Name?" "Rami El-Masri." "Age?" " 26 Years." "How do you practice this activity?" " What activity?" "What have I told you, Said?" "Be nice." "It is a lady, after all." "You do not know what activity?" "Prostitution, motherfucker." "What did you say?" "Playing an innocent person will not work with me!" "Aren't you the one with the nickname "Egy_guy" on the internet?" "On the internet?" " Yes darling." "Stop!" "Surely you have not forgotten Raoul." "Is this Raoul?" "I have not done anything wrong." "Raoul and I are just friends." "You have not done anything wrong?" "Motherfucker!" "You advertise your services on the Internet to commit debauchery!" "And yet you say: "I have not done anything wrong."" "I do not advertise my services, this is individual freedom." "Individual freedom?" "Now I've heard everything!" "The people of your kind are destroying the country." "Have ..." "Have you arrested Raoul too?" "Not only are you a faggot, but also an idiot." "You still don't get it, asshole?" ""Nothing in common between him and me, except sex." "I want someone who is more cultured, like you, who will understand me. "" "Are you Raoul?" "You were ..." "At last!" "You've got it." "Poor thing." "You were hoping he would fuck you?" "Not a chance, faggot." "You and your kind disgust me." "Hopefully your species disappear from the face of the earth." "I have not done anything wrong." "Cut the crap, ladybug." "It makes me sick to be in the same room with you." "Ramadan." "I'll let you finish and close." "Just copy the statement of the guy we caught yesterday and let him sign." "I will not sign anything without a lawyer." "Said, do not get your hands dirty." "A lawyer ... in your dreams, fag." "What you are doing is illegal!" "Beating is prohibited by law!" "What law, sodomite?" "Here, I am the law." "Listen, kid ... you will sign it, like it or not." "Well ..." "Do not complicate life." "I have hard copies of your emails and photos on the Internet." "We will send you to the coroner, and the report saying you've been penetrated is ready." "The doctor only has to sign it." "I know my rights!" " What rights?" "Here, you are dust beneath our shoes." "Sure your "rights" are coming to help you." "Take care of him, Said and do a good job." "I want that signature as soon as possible." "Look look." "Isn't it the photo of Rami?" "It can't be." " What's going on?" "Let me see." ""An accountant is arrested for prostitution and advertising his services on the internet. "" "It has to be a lie." ""Police arrested Rami el-Masri, an accountant for a large company, advertising his services on the Internet in a place for perverts." "He was arrested wandering near a café in Tahrir Square." "Given the evidence the suspect confessed practicing homosexual acts for years" "finding customers in chat rooms, and charging men with perverted desires" "20 pounds per hour "" "Oh, beautiful and slender maiden dishonoring her family with a scandal" "Oh, beautiful and slender maiden dishonoring her family with a scandal" "Is not that the friend of Dr. Karim ... for which you have been advocating?" "Oh, beautiful and slender maiden dishonoring her family with a scandal" ""In his confession, 26-year-old Rami el-Masri said that during his years in a private school he started practicing debauchery." "Forensic experts stated that he had clearly been used and showed signs of repeated homosexual acts." "The prosecutor said he has violated the public morals and decency and he made fun of principles and traditions," "and according to articles 9C and 16 of the Criminal Code 10/1961 on prostitution, prosecutor asked that it be punished by a fine and up to three years in prison." "The end" "The beginning" "Hi, my name is Raoul." "See you?" "All My Life" "A film by Maher Sabry" "Rami was sentenced in absentia to three years in prison, but emigrated to France before sentencing and managed to get political asylum there." "Dalia returned to Egypt and political activism." "Her fight for equality, justice and freedom continues." "Kareem moved to San Francisco with Mark." "They were married in the 'Spring of Love' in 2004." "Their marriage was recognized in May 2008." "Ahmad is still blaming women ... and is still masturbating" "Atef went home to his village." "His trips to the city and casual encounters cannot satisfy his craving for love." "Ashraf is still trying unsuccessfully to obtain an exit visa." "Hatem is still reading the newspapers." "But now, instead of believing everything they say, he goes online and compares them to the writings of Egyptian bloggers." "Mina never did meet Raoul." "He eventually joined an Egyptian gay Internet forum focusing on self-acceptance, communication and rejecting suicide as an untenable solution." "All my life..." "I dreamed of someone who would love me and whom I would love..." "All my life..." "I dreamed of walking with my head high..." "All my life..." "I dreamed of being myself without being judged or condemned" "All my life..." "I dreamed of being myself..." "Myself..." "To be myself..." "Myself..."