"Dovzhenko Film Studios (Kiev) presents" ""CHASING TWO HARES" based on a play by M. Staritsky" "Written and directed by Victor Ivanov Director of photography Vadim Ilienko" "Starring:" "O.Borisov as Svirid M.Krinitsina as Pronia N.Yakovchenko as Father" "A.Kushnirenko as Mother N.Koperzhinka as Sekleta N.Naum as Galia" "A.Yurchenko as Stepan K.Yershov as Bottlehead" "T.Litvinenko as Khimka O.Vikland as M-le Ninon" "This trifle of a story happened not very long ago - at the beginning of XX century, in Tanner Street of Kiev." "So let us make a trip to the past." "Let the old recall what they might, and let the young get it right." "The road to Tanners' goes across a market" "Exactly where the hero of our story," "Svirid Petrovich Golokhvosty, is heading together with his friends." "[song] "High above my head a bird is singing"" ""Flying to and fro, as does its kind"" ""There's no reason why we shouldn't go drinking"" ""Having fun is all we have in mind"" ""Our lovely misses taste like candies"" ""Our whole life like marmelade"" ""Play me, my guitar, some merry fancies"" ""Fitting for our little street parade"" ""Mommy is a golden-hearted woman"" ""Daddy is a merchant, quite well-off"" ""Their only son is posh like no one"" ""Having everything I can dream of"" "[sign] "Night shelter"" "[ads] "Swiss tobaccoes" "McCormick American company" "Dutch cheese"" "[ads] "English concession" "French corsets"" "[ad] "Horse-collars." "Mr. Bitch and Son, Kiev"" "Here are other characters of the story:" "Sekleta Lemerikha, an apple-seller and not a least character in the plot." "Her helper, her daughter Galia." "And this is Stepan." "Here's Martha, a friend of Sekleta's, an unsurpassed master of bagels." "The godmother of Galia's, Ustia, a faithful servant to folk medicine." "Nun Mironia is also a friend of Sekleta's." "And here's Mr. and Mrs. Serkov [a twisted dog name]" "They are Sekleta's kin and parents of our female hero." "Their daughter, Pronia, is now at finishing school." "Before going there, we'll meet our hero once again." "He's in the middle of his business day." "And this stout officer's going to lead us right into the school." "[the soldiers sing a classic Russian marching song]" "[sign] "School of noble manners." "M-me Ninon from Bordeaux."" "Here's our Pronia at last." "One, two, three, four." "This is the way to greet your Pa." "This is how you bow to bosses who are high above your husband." "A husband you're yet to get." "If a man is under you, greet him like this." "And feel free with your chambermaid, to make her afraid of you." "Phimka, here!" "Phimka, there!" "[disparaging Euphemia]" "Phimka, shut up!" "Phimka, get out!" "[parrot] Bubbleheads!" "One, two, three!" "Now you go delicately to your dance partner." "Curtsy." "Curtsy." "Curtsy." " Oaf!" " You are!" " This is our daughter's voice." " Voice?" " Frog-pecker!" " And you're a frog!" " Viper!" " Pest!" "Bitch, bitch!" "Here you are!" " What's going on?" " Pick it up!" "Quick!" "Oaf!" " Drive, let's go!" " Frog-pecker!" "Have it!" " What, finished?" " Finished!" "How come?" "I've paid for one year, you should've sat the money out!" "Not enough for ya that our baby's been tortured by studies for three months?" " Be silent." " Shut up, please!" "The Serkovs are taking their precious Pronia from the school." "And this Pronia goes with 10,000 of Serkov's roubles." "Wow!" " Center of gravity of a shape of a body..." " Whose body?" "Center of gravity of a shape of a body..." "A shape of a body..." "You will need this no longer, anyway." "Funny, sir!" "Listen here, Golokhvosty." "[the surname means Naked-Tail]" "Golokhvastov, that's my name." "[now it means Vain-Boaster]" " The passport says Golokhvosty." " Pardonnez, the passport mistakes." "Silence and attention!" "For your debts, for your unpaid bills your shop goes sealed up, and your property goes distrained." "You're rogue!" "You come not this bill to pay!" "You come 'give again'!" "Give money!" "[heavy German accent]" " U-uh, Schweinerei!" " What, please?" "Rascal!" "Robber, thief, bankrupt!" "Will I get you to jail!" " No, will I kill you!" " Don't kill me, listen here!" "Mr. Serkov gives 20,000 of dowry with his Pronia." " Ten." " So I wanna marry her ladyship." " Will she want to?" " She will." "Will she like you?" "Can anyone not like me?" "Look here!" "Having the honour to introduce meself, Svirid Petrovich Golokhvastov, bodily." "Mademoiselle, bon jour!" "[then pseudo-French mumbling]" "Pardonnez moi!" "Don't you tear my heart like oakum or what!" "My bosom is a walloping Vesuvius!" "Decide on my unfortunate destiny!" "I beg your hand on my knees!" "But this enterprise cannot work without money, to change the models." "Dressing a new style." "Taking the damsel somewhere, and candies, and a cab, that's a must!" " Serkov's money are as good as ours..." "As yours!" " Klugler!" "[clever]" " Eh?" " Clever boy!" "Write a promissory note." "One hundred percent." "[girls are singing a folk song]" " Hello, Svirid Petrovich." " Bon jour." " Hello!" " My greetings." "Oh, what a suit you have here!" " Made of a foreign fabric." " Must be expensive!" "One hundred." "No skimping." "Dress best to be met best." " Right, best bib and tucker." " That's right!" "Take the trousers." "Must stand firm as a chimney." "Let'em stand a wrong way, and what?" "You lose your physiognomy at once." "Now the waistcoat." "Gotta be careful about it, too." "A wrong color, and you're down." "No affinity." " No af... what?" " A bad parade of complexion." "Your ja-ket is your main model." "No model, no man." " And the buttons!" " The buttons are German." " And the fabric!" " The fabric is Scottish." "Great Scott-ish, eh?" "Why am I talking to you?" "Ignorance!" "My best regards to a wondrous beauty here." "Having the honour to introduce meself:" "Svirid Petrovich Golokhvastov, bodily." "I am so pleased to date you up." "I believe in love at first sight." "So good a girl is not for so vain a peacock!" "Keep your hands off the girl, stranger, lest our Stepan put you in danger!" "Rustics uneducated!" " We'll see about YOUR education." " Bottlehead, handle them." "[sign] "Film theatre VAMPIRE"" "Bon jour, mademoiselle!" "My heart got hot just like my crimper, while I was catching you up." "Merci, monsieur." " These are my best friends." " They don't seem to be Tom, Dick and Harry." "Having the honour to introduce meself:" "Svirid Petrovich Golokhvastov, bodily." " Usti-ya." " Nasti-ya." "[rustic names presented with a pretence to noble style]" "I seem to have met you somewhere." "No wonder, all Kiev knows me all right." "And I have seen you, too!" "I like to have a walk or two with educated people." "'Cause the feet, mind you, are given to one to beat the ground with." "That's the reason why they do not grow... from one's head." "Please attend the theater with me." ""Life of Kiev"" ""Metropolitan's visit"" ""Governor's birthday"" ""Stout firemen"" "[sign] "Fire station"" ""River flood in Low Town"" ""TREACHEROUS MATILDA." "A drama in 2 parts."" "I am dying watching romances like this." "About love that boils like tar!" "Miss Pronia, isn't it better to have a romance than watch one?" "Dare I ask you what idea do you get about me, if any?" " I am asking you!" " Why would you need to know that?" ""Another victim..."" "Again I ask you, Pronia Prokopovna, what is that idea you hold about me?" "Need you ask me such things?" "Makes me so confused." " Mind you, maid I am." " So you're a maid, and what?" "That's nothing, that's a mere trifle." " I don't get any ideas at all." " Don't worry, I get all the ideas." "Don't you know what a shame it is for an innocent young lady?" "But it can be no otherwise." "You have to, all the same." " Don't speak of love, it's a shkandalle!" " Miss Pronia..." "No, I have to speak of love. 'Cause I am..." "like... in love with you!" " So what d'you say?" " Merci for that." "Just here, at night, under the moon..." "Don't say, don't say!" "It scares me so much to hear that." " My heart is jumping." " Let it be." "Jumpin' is good." "My lil' dolly-bird!" "Oh no!" "First you have to propose me." "Come to our place." " Afraid of your old folks at home." " What ho!" "My old folks!" "They'll do as I say." ""Mommy is a golden-hearted woman"" ""Daddy is a merchant, quite well-off"" ""Their only son is posh like no one"" ""Having everything I can dream of"" "So, friends." "That's when our real life begins!" "That's where I have that Pronka!" "Let me just jog that old Serkov, and see easy money jingle all round!" "A beautiful life!" "My razors and my clippers will wing their way right into the river!" " Colossal!" " World class!" " Sviry, how filthy that Pronka is!" " A toad indeed!" "I'll get me some good soap, to wash my lips after her!" "And I'll have such a sweet candy aside, one look - and you're in love!" " Hush, my dolly, I won't eat you up!" " Let me go." "Or I'll shout for a constable!" "Shout!" "One complain of mine, and you'll be in the watchhouse!" " What?" "!" "Why?" " Because, my chick-chuck, when I saw you first time up there, I just just been dying since then." "Right in love!" "You don't believe?" " Let me go!" " Then kill me right here!" " Come on, shoot through my chest!" " Let others shoot if they like." " I don't need those others." " Let me go, or I shout, by God!" "I don't need those others." " I'll gild you all over." "I'm rich!" " I don't care about gold." " How's that?" "Everybody cares." " Let go of me!" "Am I so ugly?" "Just look!" " A finest model." " Scarecrow!" " Chick-chuck, give me luck!" " Let me go!" " I'm gonna shout!" " Just love me!" " I'll call people!" " Love me, or I'll strangle myself!" "Please do." " What're you doing?" " Chick-chuck!" "What are you doing?" "Let me go again!" "Let go!" " Mom!" " You, with a man of worth?" "Ending up like that!" "I don't know him, I swear by God, he was picking on me, mom!" "She doesn't know!" "As if!" "Stand where you are!" "Going somewhere, good sir?" "You'll have your eyes scratched!" "Mom, people may hear!" "A defender!" "Go home, quick!" "Ah, leaving?" " Leaving, eh?" "Escaping, eh?" " Pardonnez, madam." " Don't twitch." " Damned if I can't check this cocky boy!" " Madam, make no scandal, people may see." " Let them see." "Let them all know and see!" "I'm rich, I'll pay money!" "Look at him!" "Wanting me to sell my own daughter for money!" " People!" " Madam, quiet!" " Why were you tempting her?" " Damned if I was." " You were!" " Damned if I was!" "You were tempting her, damned soul, you were!" "I saw you huggin' and kissin'." "So you were tempting her!" "You were, you were!" "You can't escape!" " You can't, I won't let you!" " Just don't shout!" "I have the right, I will shout!" "Help!" "Murder!" ".." " Listen here." "I have love with your daughter." " Get outta here!" " I know those tricks of yours, noble rogue." " I am not noble, I'm a commoner." " I just have a bit of education on me." " Not just on." " Just on, by God!" " Not just on." " On, just a little!" " You're lying, rascal, not just on!" "Liar!" " No I'm not." " You are." "I'm not." "I'm in love with Galia." " In love?" " Right." " Then propose." " I will." " Do propose." " I will." "Just... just let me go." "Oh no!" "I'll let you go when you give an oath." "Eat the holy ground." "Yeah, but a dog might've made..." "So how then?" ".." " Then let's go make a church oath." " A church oath?" "Swear by Holy Church." " Speak..." " Ready." " May all the Cave Saints scourge me." " May all the Cave Saints scourge me." "May I be pinned to the ground by the great bell of the Cave Monastery." "May I be pinned by the bell of the Monastery." " If I lie." " If I lie." " Now I believe you." " Do please." "But, my dear boy, there's nothing of dowry with my daughter." "What for?" "I have enough of mine." " A house in the city, a villa, and people working." " Then come please." "My cabin is over there, behind the gully." " You ask for Lemerikha, and anyone will show you." "Bye then." " Bon jour." "And don't think of escaping." " No parish's far enough to hide ya." " Why would I?" "Oh my God!" "A nice scrape." "Daddy, mammy, close the shop and go to the living-room." " Khimka!" "Khimka!" " Wha'?" " Don't 'wha' me!" " I'm not whaming, I'm asking." " Shut up!" " Done." " Shut up!" " Done." " Shut up, you fool." " Khimka's a fool!" " Finish your cleaning quick, then help me change." " A minute." " Daughter!" " Daughter." " What is it you called us for?" " Did you?" "Here you are." "You my mom, take off this philistine kerchief and put this cap on." "And you my dad, put on this tie." " How can we wear those?" " How?" ".." " That's modern style." " So..." " My ma and grandma wore such." " Oh my..." "What are you doing to me?" "You can't speak like good people do." "You can't walk either, and the house's so simple!" " Simple is no sin." " No sin." "Why then did you have me taught the noble way?" " We just wanted..." " Silence, then!" "I am seeing a noble cavalier today." " He may even propose." " Who?" " Mr. Golokhvastov." " A shaver from behind the ditch?" "Not a shaver but a barberian." "An educated man, a learned scholar!" " Is he rich, too?" " You bet he is!" "Our girl knows what's good for her." "So you see that everything is in order." " Phimka!" " Phimka!" " Wha'?" " Run for vodka!" "Vodka?" "Are ye crazy?" ".." "How about onions with it?" " What then, daughter?" " Champaign!" " That expensive thing?" " Stingy, eh?" "Nothing for your daughter..." "Phimka!" " Phimka!" " Wha'?" "Run to that vintner." "Damned school..." "And you - sit in your room until I command you to come out." "Lest you utter something rustic in the presence of the cavalier." "And pray that boor aunt of mine doesn't show up!" "Good day to you and your home!" "Wow, been running all day long to sell all the apples up, like a hound after a rabbit." "And then I think what if I come round to see the Serkovs and have a drink or two." "Giving you the present of a cat, and some apples to Sirko." "How come you callin' me Sirko?" "['grizzly dog']" "I had a dog named Sirko, then I kicked it out lest I be called that filthy name." "I'm no Sirko, I'm Mr.Serkov." "Choose whatever dog name you like." "Have a quick drink, sister, because we're leaving for vespers." " Yeah, we're in a real hurry." " Time permits." "Good, thank God!" "I knew it!" " So here's a guest for us, hah?" " That's right." " You've said it, baby darling." " It is not a visiting day." "As good for visits as a day can be." "I've sold all my apples." "Let's have a drink, Prokop Sviridovich!" " This idea makes me..." " Hah!" "My God, she's got a follower!" "Nice drinking privilege you have at your own house!" "Pa, put it down!" "Cheers!" "There's no pothouse for ya here." "You know what, Priska." "Go to kitchen and make some tea for your aunt!" "You wish, hah!" "You dare?" "You dare!" "Mom!" "Dad!" "My daughter making tea after her school education?" "!" "Speaking of education..." "A couple of days at school as a gofer is not yet an education." " What?" " Go pamper your Priska, if you don't yet have enough!" "Don't you dare call me that name!" "Drill your Galia if you like!" "If my daughter camped around like that, that viper would catch her scolding all right!" " What?" "Then go drill your sprout, and I've done my drill!" "Too little of that." "Got to do a lo-o-ot more." "This is not, dear sister, the business of yours!" "U-uh." "Don't you think you fuss over her a bit too much?" "Dad, ask her to leave!" "Unwanted guest..." " We, Sekleta Philipovna, are this way, and you..." " ...are that way." " Yeah!" "What way?" "You think I don't know the noble family of Serkovs?" "Your father was a tanner, that's how he made his bread." "And I sell apples to make mine, fearing no one!" " Even your great scholar Priska." " We don't fear you that much either!" " Too short a hand!" " Long enough to catch a nose like yours." " Mom!" " What about her nose, eh?" "Good to peck frogs!" " Your man had a nose like..." "like..." " Like what?" "Oh!" "Like an open haycock!" "Hands off my man, you!" "He was under no one's thumb." "And he wasn't a boor like yours!" " Dad!" " Who, me a boor?" "!" " Get her outta here!" " Who?" " Me, Sekleta Lemerikha, outta here?" " Go sell your apples, you!" " And you, protecting that devil!" " Out!" "Mom!" "Mom!" " Look at these ass-headed!" " Sister!" " I'll patch you up, noble asses!" " Phimka!" " Phimka's a fool!" " Outta here!" " You rag-doll, dare you shout at your aunt!" " Oh my God." "What's wrong with you?" "This silly doll has you on the leash like puppies, and you just clap your lips!" " Oh my dear God!" " Out, dirty rustic!" "Have it!" "To ya!" "See, that's your kins." "You shouldn't have." "It's your aunt." " A sister to your mother." " Then kiss her... cheeks!" "I just met Aunt Sekleta, so she asked me to tell you, Miss Pronia, that you're a bitch." " Stupid wench!" " And there's a mister at the gate, asking for ya." " It's him!" "Stop fooling around, you slowpokes!" "Finish cleaning, quick!" "Mom, put the cap on." "Dad, your tie!" " Khimka!" "Khimka!" " Wha'?" "Cense in the house to kill the vodka smell, and heat up champaign!" " Dad!" " Ha?" "There's a head under the table!" "Damned school!" "Khimka!" " Khimka!" " Wha'?" "Chimeon, lace me in!" "[a stupid pretence of a name]" "Come on!" "Faster!" "Pull tighter!" "The book!" "Where's my book?" "!" "Where's the book?" " Why are you sitting here?" " Feelin' weary." "Put the chair here and fetch the sofa!" "The book?" "Where is it?" " You gave it for kitchen needs." " You're killing me!" "Khimka!" "Khimka!" "Khimka!" " Wha'?" " Don't "wha", I told you to hide!" " Wha'?" " Don't "wha" me!" " I'm not." " Shut up!" " Shut up!" " Done." " Go bring the hide." " The hide of what?" "Father's hide." "Stop!" "Fetch the shipskin." "How to pose for the cavalier?" "Standing." "Sitting." "Lying." "Make a bear!" " Chimeon, be so kind!" " What kind?" " Call that man, viper!" " So speak like a Christian!" "My miss is on the bed begging you to enter." "My veneration to this house's population." "But before all the others to you, my Pronia Prokopovna." " Phimka's a fool!" "I'm burning!" "Flaming with happiness and things like that, that I can see you on your own sofa!" "Ah!" "Is it you?" "Bonjour." "I hardly saw you, the book's so exciting." "Merci for coming." "Dear mom!" "Dear dad!" "Come in, Mr.Golokhvastov is so kind to visit." "Let me introduce, these are my parents." "Having the honour of introducing meself, Svirid Petrovich Golokhvastov, bodily." "May I have your hand." "Again having the honour of introducing meself, Svirid Petrovich Golokhvastov," " Bodily." " Very glad to see a man of wits." " Please be seated." " Please, monsieur." "Sit down, too." "If I dare ask." "Are you a son of the late Petro Golokhvosty [Naked-Tail] who was a shaver behind the ditch?" " Daddy!" "Their surname is Golokhvastov [Vain-Boaster], you speaking of a tail or something!" "My natural surname is surely Goloklhvastov." " But ignorant boors like twisting." " So it means you are not... of that... of who... are not not... the shaver's son?" "That is, naturally..." "a-formally..." "Bodily, so as to say" " I am." "But mindedly, by education, we are a totally different model." "Not the same center." "Of gravity." "So you are, like, not a shaver anymore?" " Daddy!" "I told you: the barberian!" " I forgot." " That's nothing, that's simplicity." "You see, I do a lot of various commerce." "I have this delicate merchandise..." "like powder, oh-deh-kolon, brilliantine" "I'm just stinking with it." "Such a merchandise takes a real bunch of cash." "Of cash I have a plenty and a bit." "I hold all Kiev merchants indebted." "My friends: ohvicers, cathedral chorus basses, billiard markers" "Told me: why don't you buy all shops in the center of the city?" "So I say: down with that headache!" "When I had my villa built in a good quiet place" "It was a two... three..." "like, storeyed house" "I confess - it was so much troubel, so much warries!" " Thatta rich!" " Money is not the man's worth." "But his good style is!" "How educated he is." "Because when a man is letter'd his world is now upside down." "Pardonnez, topsy-curvy." "And then where that one which one is not letter'd sees white, that's where he, which is the letter'd one, he sees, like..." " Green?" " No!" "Speckled!" "Phimka's a fool!" " Are you following me, Miss Pronia?" " Very much!" "After being at finishing school I see all in other color, too." " She is right." "We didn't scrimp on that school." " No we didn't!" "She knows all the fashions." "Come and see." " Shall I serve that wine?" "I've heated it up." " Get lost, stupid!" " Please, please." " Yeah." "Here." "Look at her dresses." " Shawls!" " Ah, mammy, isn't that mauvais ton!" "Pardonnez." " Merci." " And here..." "Look." "Look here." "Five pairs of shoes." "See the high heels like this." "Phimka's a fool!" " This one is foreign." " A Dutch thing." " That's nothing." " Phimka's a fool!" "Let's go see her room, there's more than that in there!" " Mammy, it's not too clean!" " That's nothing." "This is the room of the young lady." "The bed of the young lady." "A noble one indeed." "A blanket." "Silk one." "Quilted at the monastery." "I'm sure your gifts to your daughter have been more generous than just..." "Oh, you don't say!" "Take a look." "That's how much gold we've bought." " A bracelet 75 rubles worth, earrings..." " Maman!" "And here, here!" " Yeah, Miss Pronia's got a taste." " Merci for your compli-mun." "When a man is not like a common one, because one is this and another is that, and when the man's mind is not for dancing but for self-cultivating, for resolving why he exists, for making his ways right," "and when such a man, being learned, uses his learning to fly above the clouds, and there his mind gets higher than the highest belfry in Kiev and when he takes a look from there down here at the people" "they'll seem to him... seem like smallest of things like mice, I think." "Pardonnez, like rats." "Because thatta man all right!" "And that who is..." "like... him..." "also a man though ignorant, but..." "But why?" "This is but much and much!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "But... no!" " Isn't he intelligent!" " Scarily." " May I smoke here?" " To your heart's comfort." "Is there some fire here?" "For I left mine at my home fireplace." " Chimeon, fire!" " Khimka!" "Bring fire!" " Phimka, fire!" " Phimka, fire!" "Bring fire!" " Will you?" " Thanks, off smoking." "I like sniffing up much better." " Our deacon has a finest snuff..." " Down with your snuffy deacon!" " May I have a cigarette, please." " Here you are." "They smoke!" " What's that thing?" " Fire." " What fire?" " Cinder from the stove." " What for?" " You shouted for that." " Out, get out." " A simpleton!" "There's matches in the shop." "I'll fetch some." "Pretty Polly!" "Let me be that particular person who accompanies you to the place." "Please be, moo-sieur." "And you sit here." "This is our shop." "Please, moo-sieur." " Your cigarette is crackling." " That's my heart on fire." " Why is that?" " Because of love." "Pardonnez." "There's something about you, Pronia Prokopovna, that excites me" " ..." "like a quick carambole!" " Ah, that's a gallant flout." "You must've so many ladies around!" "Pronia Prokopovna, I'm not a man to leave my soul just there." " Only where your soul is." " Ah, I wish I could read your soul." "If you could, you would see there golden scriptural letters saying:" "Pronia..." "Prokopovna..." "Serkova." "If the golden key of your heart were in my pocket, in the pocket of my heart's soul, I would open it every minute to look at that!" " Oh, how I wish it were true!" "My bosom is a walloping Vesuvius!" "Decide on my unfortunate destiny, I beg your hand on my knees!" "Oh my mom!" "I am so anxious!" "Do you love me, you do?" "No cheating?" " We've known each other so little..." " Then you should know that I have neved loved anyone and never will!" " How's that?" " Except for you." " D'you love me so much?" " I tell you:" "I just boil!" " How scary!" " Don't worry, I know the debonair." "Oh, I fell in love with you, too." "I agree to be your missus." "We just have to be blessed." "Maman!" "No, don't move." "Daddy!" "Will you!" "Svirid Petrovich Golokhvastov is proposing me." "Prokop Sviridovich and you, Eudocia Philipovna." "I've had a conversation with your sapient daughter about one secret thing." "I want to have a sudden marriage with her ladyship!" "And her ladyship agrees." "Will you then bless this here..." "desperate enterprise?" " We do as our daughter wants!" " Ditto." "Well, if so, then..." " What about your welfare?" " Wha'?" " Maybe you don't like me, so I..." " Daddy!" " We wish no better!" " This is best!" " We wish no better man!" " I agree!" "Then take my lowest bow." "Merci." "And the wedding, the quicker the better." "As for other things... will you please meet my go-betweens." " That's right." ""Now I'm a wealthy merchant,"" ""That's what I think in this bright day:"" ""I should be really trenchant"" ""And spend all money in my way."" ""A country house, a house in city,"" ""And so much more, the list is long"" ""Whatever girl is smart and pretty"" ""Will never fail to come along"" ""Now I'm a wealthy merchant,"" ""That's what I think in this bright day:"" ""I should be really trenchant"" ""To waste all money in my way."" ""With much relief and celebration"" ""I'll go and close my barbershop"" ""My soul is full of admiration"" ""Begone, my razor and my swab!"" "Aha!" "That's where we encounter." " Bonjour." " Imagine I wanted to search for ya." " Eh?" "What's that for?" " I thought I had let you slip." "By no means, absolutely not!" "I..." "I wanted to make a visit." " To take a look at my passion." " Then it's God sent you." "Help with it!" "Or maybe you amuse your mom-in-law by taking me for a ride?" "That's what I just thought." ""I'm in love and in great agitation"" ""He will enter in trump and in chime,"" ""Hug my body with determination,"" ""And announce I'll be his for all time"" ""We will ride in a bright golden carriage"" ""Smiles around will be equally bright"" ""You'll be mine in a life-lasting marriage,"" ""Hair of raven and bosom of white"" "Phew, thank God, here we are." "Pay money." "Hoosh!" "Hoosh!" "Pest on you!" " Please come in." " Bon jour to you in your home." "Be so kind to sit down." "Where's our dashing beauty?" "She didn't come yet, still on the market." "Oh, such a pity." "Great pity." "My excuses, then." "I have a business to run." "Building a big barbershop, the workers are waiting." "Let them wait." "They can wait more." "You can't just leave my saint's day party, can you!" "Your saint's day?" "Oh!" "Then my congrats on that holy event!" "Take my innocent kiss from my innocent lips." "God give health!" "God give wealth!" "How do you do, my beauty!" "What a stirring in my soul when I see you!" " Stop that ridiculing!" " No ridiculing on my mind." " I have honourable intentions." " I don't know what's going on." "Drop that pretention!" "Treat the guest well." " Mom!" " I'm going to the closet." "Leaving you for sweet nothings." " Avoiding me, sweetie pie?" " I'm scared." " What's on your mind?" " Get you, my chick, I'm in love!" " What's up?" "Can't you keep your hands off me?" " How can I?" "I got hot like a crimper!" "There's such a vaudeville in my head, oh mercy!" " Oh my!" " I'm in love, first time!" "What a pest!" "Let go!" "Don't touch me!" "A bad fortune on me!" " Let-me-go!" " Ah!" "Full accord, then." " God help you!" " Mammy, mom!" " He's stalking me." " Enough of that!" "Stop fooling me." "Let's sit down to table and have the first drink." "Galka, fetch the glasses, lay the table, our people are coming." "We'd better get going, to avoid those rustic gossips." "That diamond in this heap of muck!" "Let's stay." "I'm feeling lucky." "Pronka will know nothing." "Hey, see your apple sister boozing up!" "Don't say so, daughter." "Today's her saint's day." "We should greet her." "OK, run there to have the rustics spit in your eyes!" "Drive on!" "To the living and to the dead!" "May the living never die, and may the dead quietly lie!" " Galia!" " Same way next day!" " Same way next day!" " God help us!" "Bonjour my sweety pie, taste a bit of rye!" "That's a great sin." "A sin's there to work on, a sin's there to atone!" "Have a drink, sister, to wash away the sins!" "You're a tempter, I'm a sinner!" " The saints of the Cave will know!" " Let them, they're our kin!" "I can't stand it!" "I'm a sinner, people!" "[folk dancing song]" "Come on!" "Cheer up!" "My black beauty, my sweet cutie, you make me whirl, let us swirl!" "I love outrages!" "Ladies, aren't they a couple!" "Congratulate the engaged!" " Mom!" " Golokhvosty has proposed." "Pardonnez, madam, do we really have to?" ".." " Don't ruin my life, mom!" " Shut up!" "The daughter does not have to live poor and wretched like her mom!" "You'll marry a rich guy and become a good dame yourself!" "Who can hurt us then?" "Snooks!" "Good women!" "Let's witness their engagement and drink to it lawfully." "Pardonnez, madam!" "She's nuts!" ""Far away was a drake" [engagement song, pretty comic]" ""Far away was a duck"" ""The drake in the pond"" ""And the duck on the mill"" ""Now they're in the same mire"" ""Far away was Svirid"..." " Stop here!" "I'm greeting my sister." " Mammy, come back!" "Mammy, what're you doing?" "Sit here." " Let me go." " Sit still." "Let me go, Pronia darling, let me!" "God, what if Mr. Golokhvastov saw us here!" ""Far away was Svirid"" ""Far away was Galia"..." "Oh, people, you've got me anxious!" "Woe me, a poor orphan!" "My kinsfolk are shy of me!" "Nobody of the Serkovs did as much as set foot in my house." " All because of that pecker Pronka!" " Are the Serkovs akin to you?" "She's my sibling, and that frog-pecker is my niece." "Silly head." "Cursed me and pushed me out." "Wish that viper!" ".." "Ah, down with her." " No foot of mine shall be in that house while I'm alive." " So you're at loggerheads?" "Hey, snub nose!" "Look here!" "It's a wedding veil!" "Oh, Stepan!" " Woe me, Stepan darling!" " What's up?" " My mom made me engage!" " How's that?" "Who to?" "This popinjay Golokhvosty!" " Golokhvosty?" " You see, he's rich." "What, he's rich?" "He's a rascal, a sham!" "How's that?" "Not rich?" " He's a bankrupt." "My boss even wanted him jailed!" " Is it true?" "I'll let no man have you!" "I'll break anyone!" ".." "Tie it well, or it will bite the whole ceremony!" "Pull it!" "Bring it here!" " Your high day has come!" " Ii has indeed!" " I've brooded my fortune!" " What a nice guy he is!" "Educated, dressy!" "A duck!" "A sweet candy!" "I'll be envied like hell!" "I'll be such a peahen with him in the city!" "Latest fashions, Frenchy style!" "And a richest tail for my dress!" "Rustle, rustle, rustle!" " I'm deadly in love!" " My daughter!" "I'm burning in my interior." "Where's he?" ""Dress-suits for hire"" "Pin-ups!" "Nice!" "Stand right there." "Your size!" "Look." "Look now!" "Green, finest kind." "Two-sixty!" " Wow!" " Hah!" "Here, you should look here!" "Made of something so bizarre I can't spell it." " Of moo... moo..." " Muchlental!" " Yeah, that's it." " I'd like that for my pants!" " Close the windows!" " That's nothing, my dear." "That's OK, let people know." "The Serkovs are not greedy about her dowry." "Here!" "This bracelet costs as much as 75 rubles." "Here's a handkerchief." "Lacery!" " One sneeze by a good man!" " Just for your nose!" "Well, the bride has a good one!" "Close the windows!" "Boors." "Phimka!" " Who is she marrying?" " Her sweetheart." " Who's that?" " The shaver, Golokhvosty." " Dare you lie?" " You lie!" " You're a liar!" " It's your mother had too much lying on her back." " Heard of Golokhvostov?" " She lies, that's what she does!" " She lies!" " Cross my heart she doesn't!" "I'll take that house, and what's in the house and in the yard, too." " World class!" " Then I'll fix me a new house, and the old one'll be for the Serkovs to sleep with their pigs." " Cleverly!" " Isn't that frog-pecker ugly!" "Now we have money and will have beauty Galia!" "[merry Jewish tune; this district of Kiev was inhabited by very many Jews]" " Going somewhere?" "To Sekleta?" " Aren't you?" "Wanna be the first?" " I'm the first to know and to tell!" " I'm the first!" " I'm the first!" " Have a heart!" " Shame on you, I knew first!" " No, that was me!" " I'm the first!" " I'm the first!" " Have a heart, you!" " No, I heard it first." "Now I am handing our daughter from us to you." "Children, do couple and breed." "As the Holy Scripture says," "Today you're husband and wife, and tomorrow" "God himself does not know what you are." "That's how... the way it is." "Take us." "In spite of her angelic temper..." " I..." " Shush!" "...we've been living well, and God will take us in due time, just her a bit earlier and me a bit later." "That's the way we wish you to be." "I wish it were faster!" " Enough of that, dad and mom!" " Don't dawdle, the priest's waiting!" " Right!" " True!" "Oh my dear daughter!" "Stop!" "Eh..." "Aunt Sekleta may hinder the wedding!" " Got to do something." "Let's go, pals." " Come on, let's go." "Hold it!" "A vile wedding." " Stop it!" " Sister?" " Sekleta Philipovna!" " Ah!" "Stealing my son-in-law?" " What son?" " My son-in-law." " What?" " What son-in-law?" " What shkandalle are we having?" " People, yesterday he got engaged to my daughter!" " Gentlemen, she's from the asylum!" " She's drunk!" " Don't stand!" "Get her off!" "Off!" " Madam!" " Get her off!" " Madam, madam, please!" "Please, gentlemen!" "Faster, faster, or say goodbye to your money!" "Golokhvosty is down to his last bob, and her mother thinks he's rich!" "Schweinerei!" " Sekleta Philipovna, what're you doing?" " Sister!" "Boor!" " What's the matter?" " Sister, wake up!" " Sekleta Philipovna!" " Peace, parish, peace!" "Why did you string my baby along, if you didn't want her?" " Svirid, what is she saying?" " That's a lie!" " Lie." " Lie!" "I won't allow very much of such a publicity." "It's a lie!" "This "shkandalle" can't be tolerated!" "I'm Svirid Petrovich Golokhvastov!" "I'm not something this way, I'm this way something!" "A lie!" " All police's in my pocket!" "I'll have you arrested, jailed, scoured!" " Who, me?" " For the truth?" "For your engaging my daughter?" " You're an old liar!" " Liar!" " Sister, calm down." " Let's handle this." " No handling!" "I don't know her, let alone her daughter." "Absolutely." " You don't know?" "Never would've dreamt of such a thing." "She's mad!" "Mr. Serkov, will this old liar scold keep us here?" " Never ever!" " People, I am not a liar." " People, I'm no liar!" " Prove, please!" " Prove it!" " Sisters!" "My dears, testify that yesterday he got engaged to my daughter." " With my eyes and with these ears, I witness they did." " Yeah." "And here's my oath." "Strike me dead if I didn't sing them engagement songs." "He was dancing with his garb off, leading me into temptation..." "Hell!" "Help!" "Water!" " Water!" " Water." " Bring water!" " People, don't trust her." "She bribed her witnesses!" "There's a court, there's newspapers!" " I have such acquaintances, real much!" " Damned liar!" "Please, aunt, leave me." " Please leave." " What a fool you are." " He was taking you for your money." " Wrong, for love!" "Ladies, will you please tell her." " He called her an owl." " A sore-eyed toad, he did." " A frog-pecker." " Spat at 'er as if she were Satan." "That's a slander!" "Evil slander!" "Pronia, listen, it's a slander!" "Daughter!" "Water!" " Water!" " Phimka, water!" "My child's murdered!" "People, help!" "Water!" "Water!" "Bring water!" "Pronia, listen." "My dear!" "Why all your visits?" "Why did you swear by God?" "You swore..." "And knelt before me." "You told me your heart was on fire." "But that was just a crackle of your cigarette." "Dearest Pronia, look you, this is but much and much." "It's not your shops I was marrying." " It was you I loved." " My girl!" "And you bring shame on me, before the whole Kiev." " Before the whole street." " Daughter!" " My girl!" " But I..." "Miss Pronia, this is but much and much." " Away!" " Shaver!" " From behind the ditch." "Away!" "I'll go." "You don't have to ask twice." "No, now I'm not letting you go." " Back off." " Let me talk to him now." "What's the use of talking?" "Make him marry Galia and tie him up in knots!" "D'you think the rich are allowed every dishonesty?" " Let's bring Galia!" " Let's go." " Stop it." " Hold it!" "Stop it!" "Don't let him marry Galia!" "He's not rich, he owes me..." "Stop it, don't wed them!" " Hold it!" "He's no rich." " He's stripped." "Show them." " Show his bills!" " He's a bankrupt!" " Bankrupt." " Bankrupt." "Bankrupt, bankrupt!" "What are you staring at?" "OK, bankrupt." "Yes I am." "A bankrupt." "And all that I needed was your money." "If I were rich, what would I've done here in your garbage heap?" "Pigs uneducated, that's what you are." "If I were rich, I'd have found demoiselles in the city wearing all foreign, head to foot, their hair dressed like that." "Rather than wooed your filthy Pronka." "Let me hold him by his throat!" "Bon jour, the aristocracy of Tanner Street!" "Hey, step aside!" " Come on." " Come on, come on." "Bon jour!" "Let's go, friends." ""High above my head a bird is singing"" ""Flying to and fro, as does its kind"" ""There's no reason why we shouldn't go drinking"" ""Having fun is all we have in mind"" "Translated into English by V.Brodovoy, 2006-2007"