"ASTRONAUT ACADEMY" "Smiga?" "Matters?" "Börst?" "Pirx?" "Where is Pirx pupil?" "PIRX'S ADVENTURES" "Based on Stanislaw Lem's works written by:" "Cast:" "Part 1." "* Diploma exam *" "Where is Pirx pupil?" "I'm here, professor lord!" "You're late, than always." "The theme of our today's occupation:" "Behaviour in the space" "Pirx pupil!" "What you would make, if... during a space service... would you happen upon the ship of an alien space service?" "I would approach it." "Very good." "And next?" "I would stop it." "And?" "I would introduce myself" "I would introduce myself" "you call me tomorrow with your flight book." "Börst pupil?" "I quote it paragraph of the behaviour in the space." "Article "1", point "a", paragraph "1"." "Pirx?" "Pirx pupil?" "I was audible so, your test flight will be tomorrow" "Have fun with your old lady." "Pirx pupil?" "You are flying tomorrow." "Lucky flying!" "And if you would meet those aliens accidentally... not forget to introduce to them." "That bad, that with Börst you examination together." "You may be glad beside this super perfect being if get second-class." "If altogether lets the old man." "He is a computer being due on two feet." "He is an excellent student since his kindergartner age." "Supposedly when he was born... onto square one folded his nappy." "Asked it from the obstetrician... if he has to pee accidentally... it what kind of interval... in how many degees angle, on a how ballistic orbit he should make it." "You know what would be the good one?" "An autocue." "They know that everybody brings an autocue... they search everybody because of this." "Maybe if our armpit up we would stick it." "It is hopeless." "The last year's ones got caught already." "But then..." "Do you know these glasses?" "Show me, from where got it?" "Show me!" "The physicists did it." "The whole coursebook is in this construction." "The tape goes forward if you screw this... if you press this button, rewinds if you not press it, stops." "But where its megaphone?" "In the glasses?" "No megaphone." "This is a little video recorder." "Look here!" "You may see it the left side one a screen.... you start the tape if they ask you, you may read the equations and looking the professor in the eye calmly." "Start it." "This is divine." "From outside to see nothing." "Press in the button now and you may see it rewinds." "Stop it now." "integral, d,x - x, equal, I, n, absolute value x, + c" "I would not have been able to notice this formula." "You believe it, that i do?" "Why you groan now?" "We can never make use of this." "Why not?" "Because we could not be spacemen if we would wear glasses." "This much from the exams." "I hope for your general editor will be satisfied with this interview?" "Unfortunately not, Fabricius director lord." "My chief said that I should attend a take-off... and let me write my experiences." "I may not allow this." "This a reportage, I was more on place already, everywhere let in." "The exam, it exam." "Somewhere let in." "This is more dangerous." "Right, that there will be completed spacemen, but this will be their first independent flying." "They are inexperienced yet." "We want to write this just." "This is a youth paper." "We want to formulate the process how a pupil becomes an adult, mature one's, a specialist." "Let only with a youth author not start it man." "The space flight otherwise strange for me." "Because the my elder brother......." "Your elder brother?" "Yes." "Your pupil." "Matters." "That's impossible." "You may not be flying with him." "I know this." "My chief would not allow me to write about my elder brother." "But with who I shall be flying then?" "Who said it, that allowed your flying?" "You said it that...." "I may not be flying with him." "And if with him not ... this means it, that with something else yes." "I do not believe in the fact that you would deprive me of this consent of yours." "You may be calm, there will not be trouble, me only in the background I am sitting and I make notes." "You will not make notes on this rocket, this not walk spaceship, you may be glad if you receive air." "It is necessary to decide it with who I am breathing together." "Which spaceship do I go by?" "This is not a stand." "Stop it." "Good." "All right." "You may be flying." "With who you want." "Thank you." "But I am curious what you can write about this flying then." "Here you go, the admission to examinations are here." "Two people sit an examination tomorrow." "I known." "Börst and Pirx" "Do you know them?" "Who no would know it Börst pupil." "The school's top pupil." "The genius of the mathematics, who competed with the electronic calculator, and did not know the fourth-degree root only" "Athlete club's leader of the university." "The winner of the national dance competition." "The girls' favourite." "So you elect him?" "No." "Pirx." "Pirx pupil!" "To stand starting place." "Börst pupil!" "Fabricius professor!" "Börst pupil presents himself!" "Fabricius professor!" "Pirx pupil presents himself!" "Pirx pupil!" "Are you ready for flying?" "What's up?" "Became voiceless?" "I'm ready." "Börst pupil." "Are you ready for flying?" "I'm ready." "The students declare it that in body and soul healthy?" "We declared." "Students!" "I appoint you a pilot under the time of the flying." "The task:" "You embark on a circumterrestrial orbit with vertical start... you wait two RZ-6 types a direct flight spaceship ... you guide them away onto the moon... you make sure that they are on the place of destination there then... you return onto the Earth afterwards." "with the help of radio- and radar connection RAS newscaster a satellite" "Into an elevator!" "Glória!" "Luck flying!" "Thank you." "Welcome!" "I'm sorry, I am occupied now!" "The data of the manoeuvre." "Initial acceleration: 2,2 units." "End acceleration: after 83 minutes zero." "Newscast: in the third sector" "The end." "Börst flew away already." "He orbits on the orbit somewhere already." "Yes?" "For what you were not flying with him if you like it?" "You may calm down, I did not come for your mood." "My elder brother sent a help to you." "For what hiss?" "I do not like it, if hiss for me." "Do not scream, do not be loud because the cassette player record everything." "4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - 0" "Hurray!" "I flew." "I flew." "I flew. ..." "I flew." "You believe it you are on pleasure-flight?" "The end of automatic management" "Take over the control of the spaceship." "AMU-127!" "AMU-127!" "I take over the control of the spaceship!" "My second velocity: 7,1" "Altitude: 201 km." "Acceleration: 1,9" "Switch over onto the B68 orbit!" "Where is the B68 orbit?" "I would need that autocue now." "Hurray!" "We are on the orbit!" "We are on the orbit!" "Hello centre!" "Here AMU-127." "I halt the driving-gear!" "I throw it over" "In time!" "Weightlessness ensues if we turn off the driving-gear on the parking orbit." "See it, physical coursebook, primary school 5. class." "I do not know a lot from physics... but as if I would hear suspicious noise." "What?" "You're right!" "Sure it we got into the operational radius of RAS" "What is that RAS?" "R-A-S:" "Radio Automatic System." "Got it?" "Don't you get it!" "newscaster a satellite" "This is a folly!" "Since to the satellites have own space." "The driving-gear went wrong sure then!" "Sure, sure." "This turns out if I stopped it, right?" "After all only good that you came with me, you say follies like that, that I feel clever beside you" "If you are so clever, then tells him, from what this noise is?" "I don't know." "Listen to me!" "Are you not joking with me?" "Me?" "How would I be joking?" "Open your mouth!" "Your pocket radio sounds!" "My radio is out of order." "I went mad, already my head rumbles." "I hear it, I did not go mad though!" "Look!" "That's impossible!" "What?" "An alien spaceship may not be in this sector according to the data of the manoeuvre." "Let AMU-127 call the Earth." "Let AMU-127 call the Earth." "AMU-127 I present myself!" "A stranger is a spaceship before me in the space." "I ask an instruction!" "A what kind of alien spaceship?" "What's that in the space?" "Do you have reveries?" "What do you gaze at?" "Do something already." "Good, but what should I do!" "They said that I have reveries." "Börst already sure..." "Börst, i know, spread all over half of the world already." "But look, I have reveries?" "It is not possible to absorb this with with a sound mind." "Here AMU-126, Börst pupil presents himself!" "My situation it prescribed: 12-27-33" "Alien spaceship near me." "His coordinates of which the measure was taken by me: 13,0072 sinus farbem" "Its average distance:" "A thousand tracking unit." "I ask an instruction!" "An earthly centre's instruction to AMU-126 and AMU-127" "An earthly centre's instruction to AMU-126 and AMU-127" "To explore the alien spaceship." "It it was said before, there is nothing there." "AMU-127 to Earth." "I understood the command." "I take the measure of the coordinates of the alien spaceship promptly and I explore." "RZ-6 to AMU-127." "RZ-6 to AMU-127." "This went mad." "AMU-127 to RZ-6." "Switch over onto an other orbit!" "RZ-6 to AMU-127." "RZ-6 to AMU-127." "I ask radio management!" "AMU-127 to RZ-6." "Switch over onto an other orbit!" "I hang myself promptly." "It i don't want to do that." "Do you fear for my life?" " I would not like if you disappointment" " Disappointment?" "Here if you would hang yourself you would not be able to choke because there is not gravitational strength, this I know it." "You're right, it is possible to go mad only here." "AMU-127 to RZ-6." "Switch over onto an other orbit!" "Oh, my God, I do not push that button!" "AMU-127 to RZ-6." "Switch to a parallel route with 0,01 briefings" "Your reason arrived finally!" "This can only happen with you!" "Imagine, that his friends are laughing then if my article is read." "The legend of the button pushed in the wrong direction." "You want to write?" "Of course, that I write it." "This the largest experience of my life" "I'm not sure, that you return home living." "I am not afraid already because you found the button, isn't it?" "Keep silent, ... you journalist." "Professor lord, I accelerate!" "All my velocity: 3200." "The distance does not decrease." "I accelerate longer." "4880." "Professor, I accelerate vainly, the distance does not decrease, but is increased." "It increased from 1000 units to 1200 units." "AMU-126 to Earth." "I slow down, the distance decreases." "I give instructions to it AMU-126 and AMU-127, continue the exploration!" "The alien spaceship modified his direction and the goes towards it moon" "His additional following based on the B33 paragraph into impossible one for me." "The B33 paragraph I exempt you and I instruct you to follow the alien spaceship in the direction of the moon." "In consideration of the gravity of the moon, not let an accident happen." "Good, good, if I only known, what is it the B33 paragraph." "I believe it the concerns moon's attractiveness if my logic does not cheat." "You know a lot." "Look!" "What is?" "This was enough bad!" "What got you frightened of?" "The lid of the fuse-box slid down." "These 4 main cables are not insulated, that is, the sunk box was the insulation." "And?" "It is not necessary to touch it." "Good." "Things like this must not happen." "The whole spaceship may disintegrate in the same manner if the fuse-box disintegrates so easily." "Look!" "Here is Moon." "How beautiful." "As if human foot would never have trampled on it." "Beautiful." "Oh my God!" "What happened?" "Do you not see it?" "The help flew out from your hand." "It may do a blockade if it bumps into it." "It is not necessary to think of a tragedy immediately." "I grassed on it." "And now what next?" "I hope so if it is automatic turns back on, throws it down." "To pester would be needed." "Something is a with long tool." "Fishing rod." "Fishing rod on a spaceship?" "Go then and pester." "May not be now, we are in acceleration." "I stick up onto the wall, than a family picture." "We accelerate because of that because the engines work?" "Because of that." "Stop them." "Look Glória." "Is not so in space flight, than the driving... that we reach this unknown spaceship on a suitable moon orbit... until value of a clearly defined velocity is needed to quicken." "And if we reached this the computer turn off the accelerating engines." "oh, my God!" "What's wrong again?" "The computer cannot turn off the main driving-gear because of the blockade." "This is a ready catastrophe!" "Without this danger was big that we fall down onto the moon, well yet like this." "Fabricius warned us." "Why do the engines not stop if there is a blockade?" "They are on an other electronic circuit." "It is necessary to do something!" "Where you going?" "Here want to let?" "I'll try to pester." "Wow but great!" "May I float?" "I am glad if I can sit back." "Tell, Pirx!" "Eating the equipment astronaut habit?" "Not, journalist habit." "We do not speak with a full mouth!" "Wow, but exciting!" "You feel rather well compared to the fact that we fall down with a freefall onto the moon." "1800 kilometres until the moon." "It is not possible to brake it." "But we do not give it up." "Is needed for a side arched turn." "We did this!" "Where is the alien spaceship?" "The door!" "Pirx pilot!" "It was a good effort!" "I went mad!" "Then we two went mad!" "This happens frequently with young persons." "Was I not flying in a word?" "No." "But everything happened so, as if you would have been in the space." "I don't understand this." "Though it's very simple." "We were on the Earth all the time." "We were sitting in a simulator, where based on my connections from a video recorder played in our experiences." "And what there will be with my article then?" "You write it." "You said it, that about a astronaut exam you want to write." "And i told you, that you may not be flying,but you did not believe ." "This was the exam, and here the new astronaut." "Pirx pupil became an astronaut and not any kind." "Congratulations, son." "Me, too congratulations." "And Börst?" "He collided with the moon said figuratively." "You are the astronaut academy's school- leavers of this year now last together." "We visited the craters of the moon and Mars with our first spaceships when I was pupil." "We built the space station on Pluto since then." "I hope so that you will be them, who beyond the solar system... and towards distant stars you may drive our spaceships." "What you learned here ... do not regard it for definitive and for forever." "Our knowledge it augment day by day... and it change." "An astronaut has to constitute himself steadily... but let us not talk about the learning now." "Have fun, feel well." "Cheers!" "Look, this how you like that?" "I do not like it the naturalist laser videos." "Let's go on!" "Well... 4 years." "We spent 4 years together." "We may not lead current then your bed." "The cable scintillated so, than Fabricius's eye" "It was nothing when we put a mouse into your spacesuit on your first space travel, remember?" "How you squeaked." "What is my younger sister like according to you?" "Looks better, than in spacesuit." "Thanks." "Oh guys, onto a what kind of vehicle I brought you?" "I had to plead to my uncle a lot in order for us to be allowed to organize it on this spaceship it our banquet." "This not spaceship, this luxury holiday resort." "Restaurant, vine cellar, swimming pool." "And artificial Sun." "Tell Glória, it does not disturb you that Pirx gazes at you so, than calf onto the new gate?" "This speciality." "A trotters was frying in the loaf." "And how beautiful the staff." "A miss says it, you are not a robot accidentally?" "No." "The speciality of transgalactic company the guaranteed service without robot." "I would not like if for me should to turn her screws instead of the lady's head." "She will have an opinion from us." "She may think that in her head is with one screw more or less." "Objection" "Me yet Marinus professor let on the exam, my brilliance so obvious." "It is a genius really if somebody goes over with so little knowledge." "Take notice of it, the whole space flight is in my little finger." "Yeah!" "So much your knowledge, that fit your little finger!" "What is it?" "You're drunk!" "Do you not feel it?" "We keep up with it the drink" "As if the spaceship would have braked suddenly." "It is not possible to feel this on these most modern spaceships." "This is not a trainee spaceship already." "How would say this Fabricius professor?" "You could know it Pirx astronaut pupil, son... we may feel it the like this on a luxury spaceship the braking?" "Don't be silly, this not prank." "Proper respect for the professor, answer the question." "You do not understand it that this serious thing." "Serious thing, sure, that serious." "Why do we not feel it?" "I feel it." "Of course, son, you forward you feel if you receive unsatisfactory, because of this brake your language." "Let the person who there is space in head not want to go into the space, son." "Fly about in your empty head, son." "Maybe that trouble yes." "Come on!" "No trouble may happen to this spaceship." "It stopped suddenly!" "Don't be silly, how you believe it?" "I feel it, bend in the plane of the longitudinal axis." "Sure, he feels it." "In the age of the cybernetics, when a plain man at disposal with multitude of instruments ... him needs nothing, with his ear feels it the decrease of velocity." "You may not feel this, Pirx astronaut pupil." "Why may not feel it, Matter son?" "Why?" "Matters tell me!" "Because of that professor lord, because the artificial gravitation of the spaceship equalize it the velocity changes." "The passenger does not feel it neither the acceleration, neither the deceleration..." "Yes, between normal circumstances." "Now you give offence to him" "Shows, that sensitive." "Who am I?" "Glória." "Wrong." "I am an interstellar being from Sirius." "I twist the nose of the spaceship now." "Unnecessary to joke about this." "This is not a prank." "I'm sorry!" "I did not want to hurt you." "I set off for the palm garden." "Do you not come with me?" "Let's go." "Glória." "Do you feel it?" "What?" "Everything shaked around you." "Pirx." "You to make court to me." "And with what kind of poetic words." "It is possible to perceive everything only here." "From delicate little signs, whiffles." "Yes." "We sense it of delicate little signs... the bend in the plane of the longitudinal axis." "Something may have happened" "They do not inform the passengers about it only." "For the star staff is entry only." "I ask the identification number!" "Here TITAN, here TITAN!" "Let out the oxygen into the space... and the burn ceases." "here TITAN, here TITAN!" "Let out the oxygen into the space and the burn ceases." "Here Albatross, here Albatross!" "We let out the oxygen already... but we cannot lock away the oxygen developer's automaton as a result of the explosion... it is not possible to cease the burn because of this." "Here Albatross, here Albatross!" "The suture of the body of a ship opens longer." "it run out at the insulator walls... the third degree radiation contamination is growing on the deck... we cannot direct the reactor already." "We may help yet if we have a little fortune." "Luna centre for Albatross." "Carry on." "Goes towards you the Kobold-6 from the 64 sector," "TITAN from the 67 sector..." "Ballistic from the 44 sector." "Albatross-4 for everybody, Albatross-4 for everybody!" "We cannot overcome the orbit difference... the ribs run out, the air leaks out, the solution flooded the engine room." "Full drive!" "TITAN for Albatrosz-4." "Carry on." "We go with full drive towards you." "We are on the border of your sector, we are there shortly." "Carry on, carry on, it is over!" "Attention!" "The accelerations: 8 units" "What's that?" "Kobold-6 for all those, who hurried to the assistance of Albatross." "Kobold-6 for all those, who hurried to the assistance of Albatross." "I entered the sector of the Albatross." "TITAN for Kobold-6!" "Step out of the sector because we are on an identical orbit, we collide." "We approached the Albatross already... we start the rescue works promptly." "Luna centre for TITAN." "Luna centre for TITAN." "In consideration of the passengers' safety, I call upon you, stop!" "Kobold-6 continue the approach of Albatross!" "We stopped at?" "Not commander, it would be necessary to restrain it very strongly." "TITAN for Luna centre." "I cannot stop because my velocity is too big." "Change a direction then." "Change a direction then." "Give up the sector of Albatross." "Give an open road to Kobold." "Attention, half-turn!" "What may have caused this terrible catastrophe?" "Maybe the refrigerator of the reactor." "That cursed reactor fails always." "Important, that let the Kobold arrive in time." "These are the last minutes." "Who are you?" "I am a graduate astronaut candidate." "And how you managed to get here in?" "With the mirror trick?" "I was astronaut candidate." "Here Kobold, here Kobold!" "I call Luna centre, I cannot direct my spaceship, my reactor enthused." "I cannot approach it Albatross." "Luna centre calls it TITAN" "Luna centre calls it TITAN" "I alter the former command." "Return onto your previous orbit." "You try to save the crew of the Albatross." "This was enough bad." "Reaktor-1 to stop!" "Reaktor-2 and 3 orbit modification." "12, 33, 49" "We lost valuable minutes already unfortunately." "TITAN for Albatrosz" "Leave the ship!" "We find you!" "Leave the ship!" "Albatrosz for TITAN." "We lose the controller." "We go over into the caisson." "Additional radio connection ceases, we go over into the caisson." "We lose the controller." "The end of radio contact" "TITAN for Albatrosz." "Message we bought it, we prepare ourselves for the rescue." "Alert!" "The single, triple, seven space sloop to prepare for blastoff." "The staff according to the 72th command." "Full readiness!" "Commander?" "The seven space sloop comes forward!" "I ask status report!" "We reached the Albatross." "Because of glow of body of spaceship critic the situation." "The caisson door is closed." "The crew nowhere." "We did not think of this." "The automatics of the caisson lock may have been injured." "They are closed there in a metal box heated up." "Irrecoverable." "Commander?" "Yes!" "Is there a manual module on the spaceship?" "No, this not trainee spaceship." "I would solve it by it though" "How?" "I would approach it, and I would cut out with a laser pistol the caisson door." "Commander, there is an apparatus like this on the spaceship." "The cook's." "He makes a spacewalk with it secretly." "Dress up!" "Look up the manual module." "Take over the commanding." "We approach the Albatross maximally." "Orbit modification: 9, 11, 23." "For the star staff is entry only." "I ask the identification number!" "The commander of the four space sloop presents himself." "The rescue action succeeded." "The crew of the Albatross and Pirx on deck of the space sloops are." "See Glória, the real diploma exam was this."