""Guys with Kids" is taped in front of a live studio audience." " Hey, everybody." " Hi, Mom." "Hey, baby." "Is my sister here yet?" "Let me check my wallet." "Uh..." "Nope." "No money's been borrowed." "She's not here yet." "Well, wrapkin headquarters is buzzing." "I'm in charge of domestic distribution." "Don't tell Dad, but I'm in over my head." "Gary, how long are you gonna drag your feet?" " Hire a real assistant." " I'm looking, baby" "I got my best man on it." "Only MBAs need apply." "Aha." "So how's it going?" "Good, but to take the wrapkin to the next level, baby," "I've got to get it in a chain store." "I sent a samples over to Forever Babies, but they won't call me back." "Excuse me." "Who sent the samples?" "Ooh, Bridget's on her way up." "My baby sister." "No, not your baby sister-- your 33-year-old sister who doesn't have a job, all right?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "We are not lending her any more money." " Okay." " All right?" " Yes." " Let me hear you say it." "I got to hear you say it." "Mm-mm!" "No!" "We are not opening this door until you say it." "I promise." "What do you promise?" "I promise not to give her any money." "Who is "her"?" "My sister." "Good." "Now say I'm a tremendous lover." "Would you get out of the way?" "You look amazing." "I love that scarf." "It's yours." "Oh thank you!" "Um, excuse me." "Yoda, Clark, come give me a hug." " Aunt Bridget!" " Hey." " Hey, Bridge." " Hey." " Mwah, mwah." " Oh." "In France, we do two." "In America, we roll our eyes." "♪ Life is how you live it ♪" "♪ ooh" "♪ wake up where you want to be ♪" "♪ hey, hey" " ♪ you and me - ♪ Ooh" " ♪ we're happy - ♪ Ooh, hey" "♪ we need our friends like the sun ♪" "♪ everybody singin'" "♪ why would you walk when you can run?" "♪" "♪ everybody singin'" "♪ why would you walk when you can run?" "♪" "Okay, so Tuesday morning we have a consultation with the best fertility doctor in Manhattan." "He's helped a lot of people get pregnant, like that 50-year-old bag in my office." "Great." "Ernie, you are gonna have a little brother or sister." "Divorced and having a baby together" "I'm not sure how Disney hasn't written this fairy tale yet." "Listen, it's gonna make Ernie's life better, okay?" "He's gonna have a sibling to help deal with us when we're old and driving him crazy." "But most importantly no one can know about this." "Come on, there's gonna be a doctor and a nurse and a janitor that I make eye contact with right before I go into the specimen room." "You know, and then when I'm in there and I'm trying to do it," "I'm not gonna be able to because I'm gonna be thinking about how the janitor knows exactly what I'm doing right now, and it's" "Okay, Chris, Chris, let me be more specific." "Just don't tell Nick." "Come on, I don't tell Nick everything." "He--he doesn't know that I get pedicures." "Nobody does." "Well, except for Gary." "He found my toe separators, so I had to come clean." "Ugh." "Have you ever been in that situation where you own a horse overseas?" "My ex-boyfriend bought me a horse, but you can't just box a horse and ship it UPS." "I called." "They said it wouldn't survive." "Okay, it sounds like either she's gonna ask us for money, or she's gonna give us a horse." "I'm rooting for the horse as a change of pace." "I am not going to ask you for money." "I just need $3,000 so that I can" "Oh, now we're gonna turn this over to the host of You can't have money today." "Marny, take it away." "Bridget, I'm sorry, sweetie, but we cannot give you any more money." " Mm-mm." " It's time for you to get your life in order and get a job." "So you are gonna start working for Gary." "Gary who?" "Look, you've been looking for an assistant to help you with the wrapkin, and you need a job, so it's good for everyone." "What do you say?" "You know what?" "Why not?" " I'll do it." " Great." "Oh, I cannot wait to start." "Oh, but tomorrow I do need to take a personal day." "The weather is going to be amazing." "Before you say anything," "Bridget is a very smart girl, and I'm sure she's gonna do a great job." ""Smart"?" "She had to have somebody tell her she couldn't UPS a horse." " Hey." " Chris." " What is going on?" " Oh..." "Nada mooch." ""Nada mooch"?" "Okay, well, something is up, because you only use the casual Spanish when you're hiding something from me." "Is it a girl?" "You've got a new girl." "What a hound." "Ow!" "There's not a new girl in my life." "Ooh, then it must be an old girl." "An old girl." "Yes, yes, well, then it must be Sage, because of all the women that you've dated..." "She was one of the two." "Oh, I loved Sage." "You guys were so good together." "Sage was the woman you should have married." "It was the worst mistake you ever made." "Hi." "Correction-- second worst." ""Second worst"?" "Oh, no, you have the worst trainer in the world." "No, I was talking about you and Chris and how it was honorable that you two have attempted an interspecies relationship, despite the common knowledge that humans and lady Bigfoots cannot coexist." "Oh, what to say to that, what to say." "Chris and I decided to have another baby together." "What?" "Sheila, you made me promise not to tell him." "Congratulations?" " Thank you." " No." "I told you that you couldn't tell him." "I wanted to see the look of devastation on his face." "No." "No." "No." "No!" "There it is." "Why would Sheila agree to this?" "What is her game?" "First, she moves into the building." "Then she wants to have a baby with Chris." "It's" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "What?" "What is it?" "Is it behind me?" "How did I not see this before?" "Of course!" "Villains always have a master plan." "She wants to get back together with Chris." "Oh, my God." "We can't let this happen." "What are we gonna do?" "We got to find a way to put a stop to this, and now." "We don't know how far up the chain this thing goes." "I don't think you have what it takes to clean up this city." "I love it when you play along with me." "Hey, Marny." "What are you doing here?" "Oh, I just figured I'd stop by, maybe we could grab some lunch." "I'm kind of getting a little burned out." "It's your first day of work." "And it's 10:30 in the morning." "It's only 10:30?" "This day will never end." "Look, I stuck my neck out with Gary to get you this job." "Plus, you need this." "You are 33 years old, and you have nothing to show for your life." "I have a horse." "Listen, Bridget..." "I see so much potential in you, but you just don't apply yourself." "How am I supposed to get excited about the wrapkin?" "This looks like a giant napkin." "Oh, now I get it." "Women are not gonna want to buy this." "Okay, then--then give Gary some ideas about what women would want to buy." "Okay, well, maybe if it was a little more flattering and came in some more feminine colors..." "See?" "Come on, I know you can do this." "Okay." "Okay, Marny." "Well, I think I'm gonna sketch out some designs." "Maybe, um-- I'm gonna make a mood board." "Then I'll take a walk around the river, sit by the cafe." "Just get to work!" "Well, I got to say I am very happy with the place we've chosen." "The fertility doctor was great." "Oh, and I met the janitor." "He seemed very nonjudgmental." "Chris..." " I'm not sure I can do this." " What?" "Well, I didn't realize that artificial insemination involved putting so many hormones in my body." "And I also didn't realize that our fertility doctor drives a Saturn." "I mean, I don't know." "Do you trust that?" "You know, Ernie turned out so well." "Maybe we just conceive our next child in the exact same way." "Oh." "Oh." "Okay." "Okay?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Yeah." "Okay." "And I-if my mom calls in the middle this time," "I'll know not to pick up." "And don't worry." "It will still be efficient, clinical, and no fun." "Hmm." "Just like it used to be." "Hello, everybody." "What are you doing tomorrow night?" "Probably taking one of the boys to the emergency room." "It hasn't happened this week, so it's coming." "Okay, well, I am convinced that Sheila is trying to get back together with Chris, and I need to stop this." "So I'm throwing a party at Cagney's tomorrow to remind him of all the reasons that their marriage was horrible." "But more importantly, it's karaoke night at Cagney's." "I'm thinking of bringing some pyrotechnics." "Boom!" "Rock and roll!" "Hey, there you are." "Why did it take you two hours to go to FedEx?" "Because, Gary, I didn't go to FedEx." "I took the initiative and made some changes to improve the wrapkin." "What do you think?" " What?" " Oh, my God!" "Bridget, that is fantastic!" "You like it?" "Yeah, I would actually buy that." "What?" "Oh, not that I wouldn't buy the first wrapkin." "But I would buy that from somebody that I wasn't friends with." "See, you hire the right people and look what happens." "They do a good job." "No, a good job is somebody doing what you ask them to do." "That's like you going to a mechanic and saying, "I need my oil changed,"" "and he checks your prostate." "You know what, Marny?" "I tried." "Well, Bridget, hang on a second." " Where are you going?" " No." "I apply myself, and this is what I get?" "I quit." "Don't quit." "J" "She was taking initiative, Gary." "I'm not paying her to take initiative." "Besides, the wrapkin is functional, not pretty." "They're starting to fight." "This is getting awkward." "The wrapkin can be both pretty and functional." "That makes no sense!" "Let's just pretend we're admiring this serving bowl." "It's such a bowl." "Gary, women buy things that look pretty all the time." "It's all packaging." "I'll spend an extra 25 cents on a sponge that has a flower on it." "I agree with her." "Oh, why would you buy a fancy sponge?" "Now, look, they've got us fighting." "You know, I don't need you butting in, and I don't need your sister butting in." "I'm doing just fine by myself, all right?" "The lady from Forever Babies-- she finally called back." "She wants to meet me." "I guess she likes the wrapkin just the way it is-- functional." "Is she staring at us?" "Yes." "That is some bowl." "Welcome to your "Never should have married Sheila" party." "What?" "What are you-- what are you talking about?" "You told me Cagney's had a new Chicken Caesar wr-- is there no Chicken Caesar wrap?" "Once a year, I think it's healthy to remind you how awful your marriage to Sheila was." "Do you remember when she used to dress you like the bad guy from an '80s movie?" "Nick, this is stupid." "No, no, no, this is not stupid." "This is your life." "You and Sheila were a terrible couple." "Ha!" "And you and Sage were a delightful couple." "Okay, why are you doing all this?" "Because you're my best friend, and you are too dumb to realize that she is trying to get back together with you." " No, she is not." " She is!" "This whole baby thing is her trying to reel you back in." " No." "Stop." "That's ridiculous." " Why won't you listen to me?" "I feel like Roy Scheider in Jaws, and you're the mayor trying to keep the beaches open on the Fourth of July." "The wrapkin has a lot of fans here at Forever Babies." " We love it." " Oh, well, to be honest, Joyce," " I love Forever Babies." " Now, I have to admit- your first designs were a little rough." ""First designs"?" "Then your assistant brought this by." "She did?" "Most of our customers are women, and your exciting design and feminine touches are just what they're looking for." "Well, I always thought the wrapkin should be stylish." "I'm very in touch with my feminine side." "You know, I will spend an extra quarter for a sponge with a flower on it?" "That's just the way I am." "♪ Oh, oh, here she comes ♪" "♪ she's a maneater" "♪ the woman is wild, ooh ♪" "♪ watch out, watch out, watch out ♪" "Grand finale!" "Thank you, ladies." "Congrats on your big win." "I know I've misled them, but I don't care." "Okay, this has been ridiculous, Nick, but I am leaving right now to go make a baby with Sheila." " Right now?" " Yeah." " What kind of fertility clinic is open at 7:00 at night?" "Well, uh, you know, she didn't really feel comfortable going that route, so we're--we're just gonna do it the old-fashioned way." "Wait." "You mean..." "Why don't you see this?" "She's trying to get you back." "Close down the beaches!" "I got to go." "Okay, no, you can't go quite yet, all right?" "Sage?" "That's just a cutout, Emily." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "Sage?" "Hi." "Okay, Emily, let go." " She's here for Chris." " I'm sorry." "Oh, my God, you look great, Chris." "So do you." "Yay, Chris and Sage!" "Oh, my God!" "We're all champions tonight, Doris." "You know, if it's possible, you look even better now than you did back then." "Chris looked like an extra from a Bible movie." "Hey, it worked for me." "I couldn't keep my hands off of that." "Ooh, it must have been love." "That or she was picking bugs out of his hair like a gorilla." "Hey, guys, I just left my meeting with forever babies, and they loved the wrapkin!" "Yeah!" "Great." "Bridget's wrapkin." "Really?" "They did?" "I knew that was so much better!" "I like the old one too." "See?" "I told you if you applied yourself..." "And they're putting in a big order, thanks to you dropping off your samples." " So" " So it was a good idea for me to make you hire my sister?" " Hmm." " Yeah." "And you're sorry?" "I am." "How do we know he's really sorry?" " Yeah." " Ooh." " Mm." " What about a grand gesture?" "Hmm." "Some karaoke, perhaps?" "Ha ha!" "How about song..." "Oh, no." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "738?" "738... what's that?" "Well, go on up there." "You'll see, big boy." "All right." "Really?" " Oh, yeah." " Okay." "All right, you guys ready for some Gary-oke?" "♪ Guess this means you're sorry ♪" "♪ you're standing at my door" "♪ guess this means you'll take back ♪" "♪ all you said before" "♪ like how much you wanted" "♪ anyone but me" "♪ said you'd never come back" "♪ but here you are again" "♪ 'cause we belong together now ♪" "♪ yeah" "♪ forever united here somehow" "♪ yeah" "♪ you got a piece of me" "♪ honestly" " ♪ my life - ♪ my life" " ♪ would suck - ♪ would suck" "♪ without you" "Yeah!" "I'm sorry." "Cacaw, ca-caw!" "Chris..." "Hey, where have you been?" "What, uh--what happened to our appointment?" "I'm sorry." "I lost track of time." "Oh, okay, well, fine." "So let's go." "Uh..." "Are you coming?" "Oh, uh, sorry." "This is..." "Oh, sorry." "Uh, Sheila, this is Sage." "Sage, this is Sheila." "Oh." "Um, can we reschedule?" "Um, no." "You know what?" "You know what?" "No." "Maybe this was a bad idea." "Uh, just have fun with your girlfriend." "Sheila." "You're right." "You're right." "I think she wants to get back together with me." "And you're not gonna do that, right?" "She wants to get our family back together." "Wow." "So are you staying or going?" "I'm not sure." "Okay, cool." "You want to sing Islands in the Stream with me while you think about it?" "Come on." "All right." "See." "Start with your line again, from your line." "All right." " I'll be mad too if I get 46." " I know." "It's 21." "He's very responsible, and that's-- that's good, because that means that he's..." "That's--thank you." "That's good." "Grab it." "Grr." "Grr."