"[Mary Alice] Previously on Desperate Housewives:" " I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad." " Huh?" "Some reversed roles." " I've been thinking about you." " You came to ask me out?" " Some were welcomed in." " I'll say "yes."" "I've moved on." "You should do the same." "Some were shown the door." " Will you marry me?" " And some never got the chance..." " [screaming] [groaning] ... to find out what they really wanted." "[Mary Alice] Betty Applewhite was a gifted woman." "Everyone had always said so, ever since she was a child." "[music scales on piano]" "Her first piano teacher praised her dexterity." "[classical piano music]" "Her first college professor applauded her sense of rhythm." "[classical piano music]" "Her first symphony conductor hailed her dramatic flair." "But Betty was no longer a concert pianist." "She was now just a woman with a secret, one she was determined to keep by any means necessary." "I'm not a bit surprised that somebody broke into Gabrielle's house." "Wisteria Lane is an easy target." "It's not like the police patrol around here." " We still have the Neighbourhood Watch." " The Neighbourhood Watch is a joke!" "When was the last time any of you went on patrol, huh?" "Now, I put security lights on my house." "I say it's time that we hired professional security." "That sounds expensive." "Could you put a price on your kids' safety?" "You probably could." "Look, I am as worried as everybody else in this neighbourhood..." " We've got to stop this." " Say what? "We're against security"?" " But if they find Caleb first..." " Hush, I'm trying to think." "...I'm talking about trained men who know when to shoot." "[man] Do we need professional security?" "[McCluskey] Wait until somebody else is attacked?" "I think it's time to take a vote on armed security." "I've had enough." "All those in favour... [classical piano music]" "Sorry." "Things were just getting so dramatic." " Wow, you're really good." " We were taking a vote here." "She was a concert pianist." "Well, I dabbled a bit." "[classical piano music]" "[Mary Alice] Yes, Betty Applewhite was a gifted woman, and the greatest of all her gifts  was her timing." "Once they've suffered a miscarriage, some women sit alone in the dark for hours." "They refuse to go out in the light of day, afraid to face the possibility that life will go on." "They hold on to reminders of their unborn child, and dream of what might have been." "Yes, this is how some women react when they've suffered such a loss." "Gabrielle Solis was not one of those women." "Hi, guys!" " Hi, honey, how are you?" " Hi." "I'm fine." "Thank you for the messages." "I'm sorry I haven't had time to return calls." "We cleared our schedules." "We thought you could use company." "So we're gonna go to my house." "I made banana bread, and we'll put on a fresh pot and just talk about... anything." "That sounds so nice." "It's just I'm booked solid today, my head's gonna explode." "Can I take a rain check?" "Sure." "Thanks." "Thanks for understanding." "OK, I will call you tonight and we'll figure out a time later in the week." "Tell you what, since my schedule seems to be the problem, why don't I just figure out a time and call you?" "OK." "I just..." "I have so many errands to run, and a million things to return." "Oh, honey, there's no reason why you and Carlos can't try again." "You'd be an amazing mother." "You should hold on to that stuff for awhile." "Yeah, you know, I would, but the store has this strict 30-day return policy." "[buzzer sounding]" "Carlos, what happened?" "I've had a rough couple days." "After you told me about the the baby I kind of lost it." "Carlos, your hands..." " I ripped my mattress open." " Jeez, how are you feeling today?" "They're injecting me with this tranquilizer thing." "I think it's doing the trick." "We never even talked about names." "I had my top five all picked out." " Honey..." " You wanna hear them?" "No, I'm good." "Y..." "You never thought about names?" "Oh, well, it was a little soon for that, don't you think?" "I mean, how can you name something the size of a walnut?" "Is this new?" "Do you like it?" "I picked it up on the way here." "You just lost a baby." "We all grieve differently." "You seem to be taking it pretty well." "I go shopping." "You rip toilets out of the wall." "Different strokes." "Are you even sad?" " Oh, please." "What do you think?" " Honestly?" "I don't know." "Of course I'm sad!" "It's a sad situation!" "Now let go of me!" " Oh, man..." " Honey, are you OK?" "I think my tranquilizer's wearing off." "Well, let's get you another round." "Come on." "Hey, Mike." "My mom's wedding's in a couple of days, and you sent back that card saying you were coming, and that you preferred beef, which I changed to fish for you, cos I tasted the beef." "Anyways, I know that was before we, you know..." "I sent your mom my apologies, but I won't be attending." "Oh." "I hope that's not just because of us not being "us" anymore." "I mean, we could be together at a wedding, and it wouldn't have to be weird." "It'd be weird." "Of course." "Yeah, I see that." "Oh!" "Uh..." "So, what have you been doing lately?" "Oh, just the usual." "Well, I've been writing a book." "Sort of autobiographical." "It's really been forcing me to re-examine some of the different things that have made me "me."" "Like the fact that my mother had me so young, and I never knew my dad." "Big stuff, like that." "I told you about my dad, right?" "He was a merchant marine, and his platoon was killed in the battle of Hanoi." " That's strange." " Why?" "Hanoi was in enemy territory." "There wasn't a battle there." "Are you sure?" "That's what my mom said." "I'm pretty sure, yeah." "And merchant marines don't fight, they deliver supplies on ships." "Oh." "Well, clearly I have more research to do." "So, what do you think?" "My life story, would you rush out and buy a copy?" " Susan?" " Yeah?" "You really need to step back." "Oh!" "Uh... [exhales]" "[boys] Yeah!" " I want to be quarterback!" " Go out for a pass!" "Porter?" "Preston?" "What have I told you about playing outside after dark?" "It's not dark." "Does your dad know you're out here?" "[McCluskey] Don't worry." "I've been watching them." "They keep setting off my motion sensors." "I ought to send you half my electric bill." "You do that." "OK, guys, come on over here." "On the sidewalk." "Stay there, not on the street." "Thank you." "Hey." " Hi, babe." " I'm home." "Could you come here a sec?" "Sure." "What's up?" "[boy shouting]" "Block me, come on!" "Damn, they must have snuck out again." "Again?" "How often does this happen?" "Boys, get in here." "Now!" "You know how slippery they are." " It's like trying to herd cats." " Tom, it's 9.00 at night." "Guys, upstairs, now!" "Let's go!" "Into pjs, into bed." "Honey, they're fine." "You just..." "You worry too much." "And for good reason." "Someone could have driven off with them, you wouldn't have noticed." "They were in the front yard." "I used to hop on my bike, disappear for hours." "My mom never batted an eye." "That was a different time." "You have to be vigilant." "There was a break-in on this street." "I was at the Neighbourhood Watch meeting." "I've been doing this for seven years." "Trust me." "You have to have eyes in the back of your head." "The two in front work just fine, thanks." "Really?" "Where's Penny?" "See?" "Right where I left her." " How did this get in the paper?" " I was going to call you..." "We discussed this." "We agreed to go slowly." "I was going to call and cancel after our talk, but things just got so hectic, I forgot." "Rex has only been dead for seven weeks." " So?" " I don't want every woman in this town" " talking about me behind my back." " I'm sorry, but isn't the damage done?" "Fortunately, people only read the announcements when there's nothing on the front page." "And the headline today was about some catastrophic flood in Sri Lanka." " Oh, so we lucked out." " Yes, we did." "Now when the time comes to go public with our relationship," "I need you to discuss it with me first." "I'm the bride, after all." "It's only... appropriate." "OK." "I will need you to wear that ring, though." "The ring?" "You're not wearing it." "Where is it?" " It's in my purse." " Good." "Please put it on." "But if people see it..." "They'll assume you're wearing your wedding ring." " Maybe." "But why risk it?" " Because a ring tells would-be suitors a woman is spoken for." "A naked hand invites unwanted attention." "Here." "Let me." "Will that be all, Mrs Van De Kamp?" "Yes, I think so, Mr Williams." "Hi." "[engine rumbling, sputtering]" "[birds chirping]" "[groaning]" "[screams]" "[Gabrielle] Oh, my God!" "What do you want?" "Hey, it's cool." "No, it's not cool!" "Who the hell are you?" " Carlos sent me." " I'm gonna call the police!" "Name's Hector." "I met Carlos inside." "Inside what?" "You mean in prison?" "He told me what happened." "Asked me to come by and keep an eye on you." "Can I come in?" "No!" "No, you can't come in!" " I brought a cooler." "I'll camp here." " No." "I can take care of myself." "OK?" "OK." "OK?" "Yeah, I get it." "You need your space." "Yes." "Yes, I do, I need my space." "Thank you." "[engine starting]" " I wanna show you something." " OK." " Come here." " Hi, guys." "[Tom] I thought about what you said." "Don't want you to worry, so I had a little talk with the boys." "OK, guys." "What do we do if a stranger asks us to take a ride in their car?" " Porter?" " We run away and call 911." "Good man." "Right, but what if that stranger says," ""Hey, I know your Mommy and Daddy"?" " Preston?" " Still run away." "Yes!" "OK..." "Can I ask a question?" "Yeah, by all means." "What if the stranger is nice and not scary?" "Yes?" "Run away and call 911." "So, what if the stranger says they're gonna take you to the circus for pizza and elephant rides?" "Don't look at your dad!" "Eyes on me." "What are you gonna do?" "What are you gonna do?" " We..." " Run away?" "Yes!" "Snap!" "OK, to the kitchen!" "We're having ice cream tonight!" "You're smiling like that meant something." "Come on!" "We worked on this all afternoon." "They get it." "Give me a break." "You know our kids." "I love them dearly, but that goes in one ear and out the other." " I'm gonna have some ice cream." " You're not off the hook here." "Lynette, I can keep my children alive." "When you left, there were four." "When you came home, there were still four." "When you come home and there are three, then you get to lecture me." "[car door shuts]" "Excuse me." "Are you Bree Van de Kamp?" "Yes, I am." "My name is Leila Mitzman." "I hope I'm not interrupting." "Can I help you?" "This may sound odd, but I felt I should see you." "I read in the paper that you're engaged to George Williams." "Oh, well, that announcement was a bit premature." "But you and George are involved?" "In a romantic relationship?" " Yes." " Then we need to talk." "We'd been dating for six months when he asked me to marry him." "From the moment I said yes, George got so possessive." "And when he found out my ex lived just down the street," "George accused me of seeing him behind his back." "And then one night I got a call from the police." "Someone had set my ex's car on fire." "I could never prove anything, but I knew it was George." "I left him the next day." "Well, I don't know what to say." "I know." "It's upsetting." "Yes, it is." "To have a complete stranger come into my home, drink my tea and then try to turn me against one of the sweetest men I've ever known..." "Honey, you gotta trust me." "George is a whack-job." "And you should get, while the getting's good." "I think it's time for you to leave." "One time I was talking to a guy at a bar, and when we got home, George slapped me." "What do you say to that?" "Given your overall demeanour and your freewheeling use of epithets," "I'm willing to bet that he was provoked." "[scoffs]" "When I read that you were engaged to George," "I felt it was my duty to let you know he's crazy." "But now that I've met you, I can see it's a match made in heaven." "[Susan] I'm here!" "Hi, Morty!" "Reverend Hopkins." "I'm sorry I'm late to your rehearsal." "Oh!" "It's OK, it's all right." "You're here now." "It's fine." "Go in front of me." "OK, reverend!" "Hit it!" " [Wedding March plays]" " Can I ask you a question?" "You've got to march, Susie." "You've gotta march." "I was just researching my book and I found the strangest thing." "No one with my father's name was ever a merchant marine." "[chuckles] Did I say merchant?" "I just meant the regular Marines." "I thought you probably did, so I checked that too, and he wasn't there." "So I called the VA, and there's not a single record of anyone named Harrison Ross in Vietnam." "This is not the time, Susie." "What's?" "What's the hold-up, ladies?" "I'm sorry to upset you, Mom, I just..." "Don't you think that's weird?" "What's?" "What's weird?" "Well, there's no record of anyone with my dad's name in the armed services." "Oh." "Well, there it is." "There what is?" "Morty, just go on back up there!" "Look, I'm not gonna say that I knew this would happen." "But..." "I knew this would happen." "Mom, I need answers." "Do you have to do this now?" "You are ruining my wedding rehearsal!" "You've been married 4 times." "You got it." "I will not stand here and be attacked." "Mom, don't walk away from me!" "What do you want me to say?" "You want me to say I'm a bad mother?" "Fine!" "I'm a bad mother!" "Are you happy now?" " Mom!" "Mom!" " [crying]" "Yes, yes, I know what I'm getting into." "Morty?" "Morty, have you seen my mom?" "Yeah." "Yeah, she seemed, uh..." "She seemed pretty upset." "I think..." "I think she took a cab home." "You need?" "You need a ride?" "I need you to tell me the truth about my father." "Hop in." "When I was in Korea," "I was stationed outside of Pusan." "And we'd get these... these passes, and we'd go into town, and, you know, we'd have a few beers." "We used to call it "R and R" in military lingo." "I know what R and R means." "What does this have to do with my father?" "Well, that's what I'm getting to." "Anyway, there were these young ladies, professional ladies if you know what I mean." "Morty." "Can we just move this along?" "OK." "Long story short, I..." "It's just I never figured that my first time with a woman would be in an alley behind a Korean noodle stand with my fatigues down around my ankles." "OK, again, what does this have to do with my father?" "We've..." "We've all done things that, you know, that we're ashamed of." "We all..." "We all have secrets." "Your father wasn't a war hero." "And he..." "He wasn't in Vietnam." "Why would my mother tell me that?" "Sophie wasn't married to your father." "I'm not sure she even knew his name." "Are you saying that I am the result of my mother having a one-night stand?" "Well, like I said, we've all..." "You know, we've all done things that we're ashamed of." "[exhales]" " George." " Bree!" "This is a surprise." "I'm sorry to drop by unannounced, but I just had this disturbing visit from an old friend of yours." "A Leila Mitzman?" "She shouldn't have contacted you." "Well, she did." "And she said some pretty horrible things about you." " She's a renowned liar." " That's what I thought at first." "But then having had time to think about it," "I can't understand why she'd go to so much trouble." "I mean, what would her motive be?" "She's obsessed with me." "She still wants me." "Wasn't it obvious?" "No." "The woman is absolutely certifiable." "What's more, I can prove it." "Leila was a customer here." "Even though she's no longer welcome, we still keep her prescriptions on file." ""Fluoxetine, 100 milligrams." "Risperidone 250 mill..."" "I'm sorry." "What is this?" "One is an anti-depressant for mood swings." "One is an anti-psychotic to control hallucinations." "Like I said, she's a very troubled lady." "Well, why did you date her in the first place?" "In the beginning you're blind to the flaws." "Right?" "That's true." "In the beginning." "So, we're good?" "Yeah, of course we are." "[screams]" "Your mail came." " You said you were leaving!" " No, I said I was giving you space." "I did." "I was watching you from my car." "Look, the guy who broke in stole ice cream." "I don't think I'm in any danger." "So you can go." "I don't need you." "Carlos says you do." "[exhales]" " Where you going?" " Shopping." " Not that it's any of your business." " You like to shop." "Yes, I do." "It's all I've seen you do the past day and a half." "Uh-huh." "All that shopping must be making up for something." "Excuse me?" "You know, Carlos has your number." "He says you're one tough cookie." "So tough, you don't have to deal with your feelings." "He's a perceptive man." "He thought I was cheating with gay guys." "You sure you wanna go with "perceptive"?" "It's been a week since you lost your baby?" "Yeah." "So?" "So I've never heard of shopping out the pain." "Why is everyone on my back about this?" "I will deal with my loss, my way, OK?" "[engine starts, tyres screeching]" "Where are you going?" "I, uh..." "I just thought I'd go out and look some more." " I'm gonna try the park." " In the middle of the night?" "He hasn't really been showing his face in the daylight, has he?" "Or would you rather we just let Caleb run loose?" "He could be in trouble." "Or hurting another girl." "He didn't hurt Mrs Solis, Matthew." "He was just hungry." "Yeah, well, I wasn't talking about Mrs Solis, but you know that." "[music scales played on piano] [practicing on drums]" "[sighs]" "So, you're still gonna be my matron of honour?" "Of course I am." "I'm not gonna pretend like I'm not still a little freaked out." "I am." "But I did a lot of thinking about it this morning, and I think I understand." "You wanted to protect me." "And you thought I needed a hero." "I had one: you." "I was always so worried I would screw you up." "Well, I am screwed up, but it wasn't your fault... entirely." "Oh." "[phones ringing] [typing]" "Hey, Stu." "You busy?" "Just updating my blog." "Because I've got an important assignment for you." "Great." "I'm really ready to take on more responsibility around here." "Yeah, I applaud that." "But what I need is for you to help me to prove a point to my husband." "Oh." "You wanna make him jealous?" "Uh..." "No. [chuckles] Actually I need you to kidnap my children." "Stop hitting me!" "OK, so what am I supposed to be looking at?" "Just wait for it." "OK, here he comes." "What's going on?" "I'm just trying to prove a point." "Hi..." "little boys." "Hell..." "Who is that?" "It's just Stu from our office." "You guys wanna go for a ride?" "And is he abducting our kids?" " Maybe." " This is crazy." "Why?" "Are you worried they might get in?" "We can go to the... carnival." "You like carnivals?" "We're not allowed to talk to strangers." "Run, boys." "So why don't you boys get in the car?" " Run away." "Run." " Get in the car." "I'll give you candy." " Yeah, candy!" " Why aren't they running away?" "Well..." "This is not the time to be smug." "Clearly our sons are... idiots." "OK, OK." "Jeez." "Everyone share." " Hi." " Hi." "[Taser buzzing]" " Oh, my God!" " [Stu screaming]" "Run, kids!" "Run!" "Run!" "Oh, no, you don't!" "You pervert!" "Oh, no, you're not going anywhere!" "[Stu screaming]" "[laughter]" "Anyway, after we wrap this shindig," "I'm whisking my new bride away on a four-month cruise around the world." "I would've been happy with a weekend in Vegas, but, you know." "[imitates whip cracking]" "Anyway, here she is, my beautiful bride." "I want to thank everyone for coming, and especially my Morty, who's helped me to be a better person." "And I want to thank my amazing daughter, Susan, and tell her how much I appreciate her love and respect." "Because I'm a horrible person!" "And she deserves so much better than me!" "[whimpering]" " Honey, honey..." " No, no, no, no, no!" "Susie needs to know the truth." "Your father was not a one-night stand." "He was 33." "And he was married." "[people gasping, murmuring]" "And he was my boss." "When I told him I was pregnant, he broke it off and he never spoke to me again." "But he gave me my beautiful, incredible daughter." "And for that, I want to thank Addison Prudy." "Oh, my God!" "Do you know where he is?" "I have no idea." "I swear." "If I knew, I would tell you." "[man] I know Addison Prudy." "He runs the feed and supply store at Third and Sutherland." "[people murmuring]" "Uh..." "Prudy's a fairly common name, of co..." "So..." "Is that him?" "Yes." "Are you saying that all this time, my father's been alive and just right across town running the supply and feed store?" " Susie..." " I can't believe this!" "[murmuring]" "You're not..." "You're not still seeing him, are you?" "[piano lounge music]" "[George] Is something wrong?" "You've been so quiet all evening." "No, no, I'm just tired, that's all." "Care to dance?" "It might pep you up." "I don't think so." "But thank you, though." "Bree, where is your ring?" "Oh, um, the stone is loose, so I'm gonna take it to the jewellers." "But don't worry." "It's safe." "This isn't about Leila, is it?" "No, no, it's like I told you." "The stone could just pop off at any second." "Well, I don't care." "Please put it on." " What?" " I want you to wear it." " Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to." " Why not?" "Because I don't feel like it." "And this is the last time we're gonna talk about this." "OK?" "Excuse me, ma'am, we don't allow members of Zeta Beta Kappa in here." "Ty!" "Ty Grant!" "Hi!" "What are you doing in town?" " Visiting my folks." " Oh, my goodness!" "Oh, George, this is Ty Grant." "We used to date in college." "Ty, this is George." "He's a good friend of mine." " Hi." " Actually, we're engaged." "Bree, you look fantastic." "You haven't aged a day..." "Ty, would you like to dance?" "Sure." "I'd love to." "Let me take your coat." "I need to cut in." "George, would you please sit down?" "You're being rude." " Am I in the middle of something?" " Put on the ring." " No." " Oh, boy." " George, I don't want to!" " We are engaged!" "You have to wear it!" " George, stop it!" " Hey, knock it off!" "I'm sorry." "I just..." "We're engaged." "See, the thing is, I don't think we are anymore." "Bree..." "Please, you should go." "Listen, Bree..." "Hi." "Right over there." "Management likes us to keep the nice cars out front." "[wind chimes ringing]" "Afternoon." "New hairdo?" "So, what if it is?" "Looks nice, that's all." "I also got a facial, and later on I'm gonna get a pedicure" " and an eyebrow wax." "So there." " That's fine with me." "It's not." "I know what you're thinking." " Yeah?" " You know what?" "I'm tired of you judging me." "What is it gonna take to get rid of you?" " What's your last name?" " Ramos." "Ramos." "Here is $1000." "I won't tell Carlos you didn't stick around." "It'll be our little secret." "I just got out of prison." "I'm not exactly set up with a bank account." "Can we go to your bank and cash this?" "And then you'll leave?" "Hey, it's a grand." "Buckle up." "You don't have a window thingie." "Nope." "You don't have a door handle either." "Nope." "But I do have a confession to make." "[engine starts]" "Carlos didn't really send me to protect you." "[Hector] Go figure." "No one else in the park." "We got it all to ourselves." "Perfect." "Why don't you go find us a good spot?" "I gotta get something out of the trunk." "Hey!" "Where the hell are you going?" "You're not gonna kill me?" "I hadn't planned on it." "If I was gonna kill you, I wouldn't use a balloon." " It would take too long." " What am I supposed to think?" "You lie about protecting me, then lock me in that heap without door handles so I can't get out!" "Carlos sent me to help you with your grief." " You're kidding, right?" " No!" "Look, I know a little something about loss." "It can take you to some real dark places." "Especially if you don't face it head-on." "Like 17 years in a six-by-ten prison cell." "Dark." "What's this for?" "The balloon represents the spirit of the life lost." "By letting it go, you're acknowledging the pain you feel, and releasing it at the same time." "OK, that's ridiculous." "Besides, I don't feel what you think I'm feeling." "Then it should be real easy." " Fine." "If I do this, will you go?" " Yeah." "OK." "Should I say something?" "If you want to." " Not really, no." " That's cool." "[exhales]" "Any time." "This is stupid." "I didn't even want this baby." "Yeah." "And I would've been a terrible mother." "If you say so." "If it was a boy, I was gonna name it Charlie." "Yeah?" "And a girl, Aurora." "Those are nice names." "Thank you." "[barking quietly] [growling]" "What is it, boy?" "[barking]" "[groans]" " What's going on out here?" " Call the police." " You need me to zap him?" " Just call the police." "[police radio chatter]" "Is that the guy who broke into your house?" "I don't know, I can't see him." "Yeah, that's him." "[Mary Alice] In a world filled with darkness, we all need some kind of light." "Whether it's a great flame that shows us how to win back what we've lost, or a powerful beacon intended to scare away potential monsters." "[boys] Two, four, six, eight, you are good..." "Or a few glowing bulbs that reveal to us the hidden truth of our past." "We all need something to help us get through the night." "Even if it's just the tiniest glimmer of hope."