"Daddy's home!" " Hey!" "Hi, honey!" " Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" "Hello?" "Anybody here?" "Anybody?" "I'm home!" " You never said he had stubble." " He doesn't, usually." "So, I'm going. I'm catching the 3rd Street bus." "Are you coming?" "No, Amber said she'd pick me up later. ls that okay?" " Sure." " Okay." "Bye." " Hi." " Hi." "Look, Rickie and your dad are bonding." "Come on." "Bye." "Bye." " They're exchanging fashion tips." " Rayanne!" "Hey!" "So, is this the famous Rayanne?" "This is the famous Angela's Dad." "Dad, your whiskers scratch." " Oh, sorry." " l did it!" "Good." "All right." "Okay, you're in the zone now." "The next batch will be great." " Do you want something else?" " l'll have fritters." " l can make you something else." " l am so hungry." "Do you ever get hypnotized by food?" "Are you kidding me?" "Hypnotized By Food could be my Indian name." " Honey, do you want to flip one?" " Rayanne can do it." "I got to call my brother." "I can't believe I am cooking something not in a pouch." "I'll still eat it." "That's a weird sounding beep, Neil." "Hey listen, you know that guy, Earl, that I did the rush for?" "He laid two tickets on me to the Dead concert Thursday night." " Oh my God." " Save the date, call me back." "Bye." "You're into the Dead?" "This explains so much." "Oh, yeah?" "The undercurrent of connections between Angela and me." "You see, my mom's going to the Dead show Thursday night." "She's a former Wharf Rat." "The Grateful Dead is this thing that we totally share." "Before she had me, she lived in a bus for months..." "with a girl named Pop Tart." "Angela is not really into the Dead, am I right?" "You will be." "After you hear our bootleg stuff." "My mom got this tape from this guy, maybe you know him..." " Mike in Boulder, Colorado?" " No." "Palo Alto, 1 97 1 ." "They closed with "Cosmic Charlie"." " Right, I was there." " Get out of here!" "Nice save." "Sweetheart, may I speak to you for a moment?" "Sure." "When you're not sure you trust a person anymore... say a person you really trusted, say your father, you start wishing... they'd do something really wrong so you could be right about them." "Bear with me, I'm upset." "I know how you feel about her, but she's actually not a bad kid." "Who, that Rayanne person?" "She's the least of my problems." "Good, because Angela wants her to stay to dinner." "I don't care." "Whatever." "Listen, we got a really upsetting letter today." "Oh, man." "The I RS." "It's not the 'A' word-- l cannot believe we're being audited." "That Wood  Jones Printing is." ""Your federal income tax return has been selected for examination."" "This is really scary." "They must get Stephen King to write these." "I called Dad." "He's going to come over so we can figure out what we want" "You told your dad about this, before you told me?" "Look at the date, 1 992." "That's the year he got sick, the year I took over." " He was not pleased." " Yes, he's been caught red-handed." "Graham, he was flat on his back in a hospital, the spring of 1 992." "If anyone is to blame, it's me." "I'm the one who prepared the return." "Because he was too cheap to hire an accountant." "Promise me, we will handle this in our own way." " Handle what?" " Nothing." "We're being audited." " Not us, Wood  Jones Printing." " Which, of course, is us." " Why?" "Did you lie about something?" " Why are you looking at me?" "Nobody lied." "It can happen to anyone." "They pick people at random." "But, I'll lay even money that Grandpa lied." " Can Rayanne still stay for dinner?" " Yes, yes." "Just checking." "Did you see that?" "You hear that? "Just checking."" "Did you notice that tone that she takes with me now?" "I didn't notice anything." "Something's not right between her and me." "She acts so..." "all distant with this sort of silent contempt." "Graham, she adores you." "And I've got dibs on her silent contempt, okay?" "Oh man, this is the hardest homework I've ever seen." "Look at this." " l like when you don't shave, Daddy." " You do?" "I like how it feels." "I can't concentrate in here." "Finally!" "I found a copy of the return." "You got a rain gutter out there about to fall off." "This just in." "Hit someone on the head, and you'll have a lawsuit on your hands." " We know, Dad." " Hi, Grandpa!" "Hello, cookie." "Okay, that's enough." "The place is lit up like a Christmas tree." "Every light in the house is blazing." "Trying to support the electric company single-handed?" " Dad, would you like some fruit or" " What have you got there?" "This is a copy of the 1 992 return." "Ran my own business for thirty years." "Never got audited." "Dad, they pick people at random." "Yes?" "Never picked me at random." "Anyway, they do." " Send a girl to do a man's job." " What did you say, Dad?" "Never mind." "It's not worth repeating." "So they do say that when a small business like us takes..." "a noticeably large deduction that's hard to justify" "Who would do that?" "Dad, look, here, the car." "See, you took off 87%%%." "It was a business car." "I know." "But, that's the kind of deduction that..." "you have to back up, with a log or" "There's my girl." " Hi you, honey bunch!" " Hi Grandpa." "Oh, this is good." "You don't jump on me, like your sister, do you?" "You got big." "You're a good kid, okay, just give me the Walkman, please?" " l don't have a Walkman." " l'll give it back after school" "Catalano, give her the stupid Walkman!" "God, people are so rude." "Not to shock you, but your dad is attractive." "Oh, I'm sure." "Not that I'd attack him or anything..." "but I wouldn't leave me alone with him either." "So when I was leaving, he was there, and I was, like..." ""Well, hi", and he was "Well, hi", and I was..." ""Well, bye", and he was "Well, bye." "It's not just physical." "He's nice." "You just have a really nice dad." "He's really nice." "When someone compliments your parents, there's nothing to say." "It's like a stun gun to your brain." "Plus, his stubble is the perfect length." "He doesn't have a stubble!" "He ran out of disposable razors that morning." " He was all disturbed about it." " in-Touch-With-His-Emotions Dad." "Shut up!" "Ignore Angela, she can't help herself." "She's a product of a two-parent household." "My Mom's been on the phone forever." "We're getting audited." "I talked to Neil, he said..." "we're crazy to do this without an accountant." "You're right." "We shouldn't go into a thing like this unprepared..." "but I know him, Graham." "He'll never agree to" "Honey, I don't know what kind of trouble your dad's gotten us into..." "but if they found something, we got to pay up, you know?" "Where's Angela?" "Locked in her room with that Rayanne person, why?" "I was just wondering." "She hasn't said two words to me all week." "Join the club." "I almost forgot, we have a time." "Are you listening?" "To meet with the I RS lady, this Thursday, 4 o'clock." "That will be easy to remember." "It's the same day as the concert." " What?" " l never mentioned..." "that Earl gave me two free tickets to the Dead concert." " You're kidding." " Honey, come on." "It's the Dead!" " Graham." " Honey!" "Please, please tell me that you are not going to top off..." "our audit with a rock concert." "Please, Graham." "So, you don't want me to go?" " It's" " Timber!" "Vallone!" "I'll get Rayanne." "Hi, honey bunch." "Rayanne, your mom's here." "I just got to find my sock because it's Rickie's." "So, which day is your mom going to see the Dead?" "Thursday." "Her and her honey." "She'd never let him hit Pittsburgh and not make it." "Ah, yes!" "So, would you two like to go with them?" "To see the Dead?" "Oh my God, Angela!" "But wait, you really want to go." "No, I got work to do, and anyway, I'm too old for that stuff." "So, what do you think?" "Would you like that?" " Sure." " Thank you!" "I mean, thank you." "Night, Ang!" "Night!" "Good night." "I know you're not wild about the Dead like Rayanne is, but" "No, it's fine." "So, where are the tickets?" "Oh, here." "I found all those receipts I forgot I had..." "also a dirty book, that little pearl earring I was so upset about..." "birthday card I never sent to my mother." "What book?" "I want that back." "I've decided to skip the concert." "Thank goodness." "I gave the tickets to Angela and Rayanne." " What?" " Seriously?" "Oh yeah, it'll be fine." "It turns out that Rayanne's mother is going." "Of course Rayanne's mother is going, and Heidi Fleiss is probably..." "meeting her there, but that doesn't mean that Angela should go." "Patty, listen" "And, to top it all off, it's a school night!" "I mean, could you have had a more completely terrible idea?" "I'll get the tickets back." "I didn't think it through." "I was..." "Areyoustillawake?" "Just my brain." "I'm so ashamed." "I feel like I've been bad." "The government is going to ground me." "Angela is really acting weird toward me, you know?" "You know, I think I'm going to have to ask my dad to butt out of this." "It's like she's holding something against me, or something." "But how can I do that, how can I question his judgment?" "He built this business out of nothing." "He's this rare individual." "You are ten times smarter than your dad is about business." "Turn that off. I can't watch that guy." "I miss Johnny." "I know." "I felt for Johnny, married to all those JoAnne's." "I think of him all alone on some God-forsaken Malibu beach..." "no guests." "God, I miss him." "Look, I'll call him tomorrow, and I'll take him to lunch." "At that new place, with the fountain, that does all the non-fat cooking?" "Mom's been wanting me to take him there." " That's a great idea." " Yeah." "It will be on my turf and my terms..." "and I will wait for the right moment and I'll say..." "Chili fries?" "Come on, taste one." "When's the last time you had a chili fry?" "I couldn't say." "Probably tastes a whole lot better than that place you suggested." "With the no-fat, no-cholesterol, no-flavor, no thank you." " Dessert?" " None for me." "Bring her a piece of that banana cream pie." " Dad, I don't want any pie." " l may have a little bite." " You can't have any sugar." " It's banana, it's all natural." "Dad, about the audit" "Oh, almost forgot." "My driving log." " You kept a driving log?" " You see it there, don't you?" "Banana cream pie." "Dad, not that you did, but they can tell" "Patricia, perfectly legal." "Reconstruction of what happened." "Best of my ability?" "I spoke to her." "To the I RS agent?" "Dad, we agreed" "She has no objection to us doing this without an accountant." "Of course not, she's probably thrilled." "They want to trip you up." "They have got all sorts of techniques" "Hey, I can handle the I RS." "What I can't handle..." "is my own daughter telling me what to do." "You don't know what you're missing." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Whose classroom is this?" "Whose classroom is this?" " Mayhew's." " And where is Ms. Mayhew?" "She is out of here." "She couldn't deal." " Aren't you guidance?" " Yes." "We need guidance, Ms. Krzyzanowski." "Okay, one at a time." "Yes, girl with the red hair." "It's Ms. Mayhew's class, but I think she quit." " Who has been teaching this class?" " Mr. Rinaldi." "Mr. Rinaldi is the Spanish teacher." "This is English." "What did Mr. Rinaldi do the last time he was here?" " He showed a movie." " What movie?" " "Alive."" " Where is Mr. Rinaldi now?" " Hey, Catalano!" " Jordan." "Mr. Catalano!" "Join us." "Okay, I'm going to pair you off..." "and you are going to write three sentences on the movie "Alive"..." "and you are going to trade papers and diagram those sentences." "And, I'm going to sit here and watch because my life is so empty." "Okay, you and you, you and you..." "you and the boy in the blue and..." "you, in the pink shirt, you and you." "I couldn't believe that..." "Jordan CataIano was actually trying to diagram my sentences." "his sentences were really short." "Tickets." "For the Grateful Dead concert." "Not that I like the Grateful Dead that much, but..." "You know how sometimes the Iast sentence you said... echoes In your brain, and It just keeps sounding stupIder?" "And you have to say something else, just to make It stop?" "Oh, I just remembered." "I owe you thirty dollars." "For the I D?" "I don't have it on me, but I..." " Scalp your Dead tickets." " Really?" "I don't know anyone who would buy them, do you?" " You scalped our Dead tickets?" " Rayanne." "You want me to talk to him?" "Maybe he hasn't sold them yet." "You're always saying we should think of ways to make money." "You want me talk to him?" "Because I'm willing to do it." "What are you talking about?" "Why are you talking about money?" "We had Grateful Dead tickets." "People don't sell Grateful Dead tickets." "People give people Grateful Dead tickets." "I'm sorry. I just, I didn't think it was" "Your dad gave those tickets to both of us, including me." "I got to go. I got to go to Home Ec." "Oh my God." "She must really be upset." "Why did you do it?" "I mean, to have a reason to talk to Jordan?" " Not completely." " Then why?" "I don't know." "Dad, the meeting should be at the I RS office." "Yeah, but you don't know that she has an appointment..." "with a chiropractor in this neighborhood." "She may have just told you that so she can get a good look at our" " What?" "Okay." "Yes, say good night to Mom." "I'm so scared." "It's okay." "Prison is not that bad, and I'll wait for you." "Now he's got that agent coming here." "It's exactly what all the books say never to do." " l can't get him to listen." " Patty, listen..." "you order people around all day long, people like me." "Lunch was a disaster." "He forced me to order pie." "And I actually ate it." "I mean, what is wrong with me?" "Why do I become an eight year old around him?" "So my rotten day is like foreplay?" "I like it when you're..." "when you actually need me." "Of course I need you." "Did you talk to Angela about the concert?" "I will, I promise." " What are you doing?" " Get out of here!" "I dIdn't know what I was looking for." "Some kind of proof." "something that would make It make sense for me to hate him." "I lost..." "part of my homework." " Did you find it?" " No." " Ms. Mandeville." " Mrs. Chase." "That was my grandmother's." "She was completely dotty, of course." "It's practically worthless." "Keeps good time, though." "Well, then it's not worthless." "You see, I was the one who actually prepared the return." "Ms. Mandeville, I don't know if your records indicate this but..." "I am a veteran." "So-- l just didn't want to conceal anything, that's all." "I would also like to add that..." "during the fiscal year in question, I was felled..." "by a near-fatal heart attack-- and was later found to be, sick with diabetes." "Well, you look just fine now." "I don't think I should be penalized for bouncing back like I did." " Why are you telling me this?" " No reason." "We've covered a lot of ground." "Thank you." "This was very helpful." " You can keep it if you like." " That won't be necessary." "Oh God, I forgot to talk to Angela about the concert." "Anyway, it's obvious we'll be seeing a lot more of each other." "Promise me you'll keep that in mind, Mr. Wood." "You won't go gallivanting off on some Caribbean vacation." "What?" "I have been to the Caribbean exactly once." "In 1956." "You're telling me you don't take lavish vacations?" "I got the distinct impression that you" "Lavish?" "My wife won't fly." "She gets seasick." "I've never been to Europe!" "But you told me yourself that you do take a lot of time off." "We have to get away." "But those are motoring trips." "We've always taken those." "Like into the mountains." "Sounds fun." "What car do you use?" "The wagon. I mean, either car." "The compact usually." " Here is what we're going to do." " This has nothing to do with you." "We are going to pay all the taxes that we owe." " Pay what?" "What did you say?" " Chuck, come on." " Daddy, please, just" " Just what?" "Just let you sell me down the river?" " Daddy, I'm trying to help you here." " Help me?" "I don't need your help!" " Do we have an agreement?" " We absolutely have an agreement." "Agreement?" "Who the hell are you to make an agreement?" " Hey!" " Daddy, please." "Chuck, come on." "Do what you want." "I don't give a damn." "Thank you." "You have been very patient." "I'm sorry that" " Angela!" "I have to" " Dad, I can't talk right now." "Angela!" "I'm just sorry you had to witness that business..." "between me and my father." "Small potatoes compared to what I've seen." "We got a problem." "It's my mistake, I should have talked to your mother first." "The thing is, I can't allow you to go to that concert tonight." "What?" "The thing is, your mother is just not comfortable with it." "So, I'm sorry." "You'd better give the tickets back." "Why do you need the tickets?" "Why do you need them, if you're not going?" "Just give them back." "Rayanne has them." "And she's going to be here any second." " Look, I'm sorry." " No, I'm sorry!" "She's counting on me to come and I'm not going to do this to her." "Angela, look, let me call Rayanne." " l will explain it to her." " It was your idea!" "I made a mistake." "I'm not perfect." "Oh, believe me." "That's become really clear." "There she is." "Angela." " What the hell is going on?" " ls she getting into Rayanne's car?" "She's gone." "I cannot believe that you let this go this long." " Patty, I forgot, all right?" " Why don't you just admit it?" "You want her to go to this stupid concert!" "All right!" "I admit it, okay?" "Look, I saw the Grateful Dead when I was fifteen years old." "It was one of the eight best nights of my life." "It's something I wanted to give her." " Fine." "Leave." "Just like he does." " You leave my father out of this." " What?" "What did you say?" " It's not worth repeating." "And Brian, make sure the lid is on tight." "Hi." "It wasn't locked." "And I can't go home right now..." "and there's nowhere else to go, and it's so freezing." "Are you meeting someone in here?" "That's so unfunny." " What about my room?" " What about your parents?" "They won't even notice." "They're balancing their joint checking." "Mine are getting audited." "Mine are probably getting a citation for..." "best penmanship on a tax return, or something." "Can I just stay here, just for a while?" "Why you can't go home?" "My dad thinks I'm at a Grateful Dead concert..." "and he'd be really upset if he knew I wasn't." "You're dad is so different from my dad." "Look, it's my car." "I think I have a right to know." "Does this involve Jordan Catalano?" "Angela, wait!" "Did you ever think that I could do something that does not involve you?" "That I may not be sitting around..." "if you decide at that moment that you need my car?" " So what were you doing?" " Nothing!" "You want my sweater?" "Okay." "Try not to sweat into it." " Why do you say things like that?" " Why do you have to" " brian there's another bag here." " l know!" "What's really horrible, Is being a witness... while someone's parents orders them around." "It ruins the conversation." " So, wait, what were you saying?" " Nothing." "Just..." "you shouldn't act one way towards a person..." "when you need something, and then" " Dani, juice?" " Not the pulp kind." " Oh, right." " l'll take some." "You left your Scottish sweater in my car, honey bunch." "Thanks, I was searching." "Angela, orange juice doesn't grow on trees." "It sort of does." "Did you see how he's being?" "Don't call your father "he"." "Mom, he didn't want me to go to the concert, so fine, I didn't go." "But you let him think you were going..." "and you sold tickets you had no business selling..." "and you were less than forthright, to say the least." "Why can't he just say that, instead of acting like I don't exist." "Dad not even wanting to look at me is, like, the worst feeling." "I know." " Rayanne!" " It was so beyond." " Rickie." " Oh my God." "Finally, I've been looking everywhere for you guys." "Anyway, so I'll see you at lunch." " l can't believe she's this mad." " l know." "But I can see it from your side, but I also see it from her side..." "and from my own side." "But, I don't really have a side." "Anyway, why did you do it?" "I mean, were you mad at your dad?" "What?" "Who said that?" "With my dad, who's technically my uncle, but he raised me..." "I mean, if he gives me something, and I'm mad at him, I can't open it." "But, that's different, because I'm somewhat afraid of my dad." "I mean, in the past, my dad has broken down my door." "My dad always knocks." "I had a feeling." "Rayanne?" "Rayanne, I feel terrible, okay?" "And I have to go to Health in a few minutes." "Why?" "Why do I feel terrible?" "Yeah." "Because of what I did." "You didn't get to go to the concert." "No, I did." "It was great." "They played "Stagger Lee"." "Amber and Rusty took me, and Rusty ran into this guy he knew..." "from Vietnam who was in a wheelchair." "He had an extra ticket." "He had a sexy upper body, too." "Making you feel bad is too easy, takes all the fun out of it." "Look, your dad probably gives you stuff all the time..." "so it's no big deal to you." "But to me..." "the fact that he did that..." "I guess that I'm envious like the green-eyed monster." "You don't know everything about my dad." "Remember the night we couldn't get into Let's Bolt?" "I saw him around the corner from our house..." "and he was talking to this girl, like in her twenties." "So?" "So?" "I'm lucky, my dad's had eight different girlfriends..." "since he left, so I'm used to it." "But Angela..." "whatever your dad may be doing with whatever girl..." "and you don't even know if he is..." "he's still the type of dad that would lay two Dead tickets on you." "Out of nowhere." "That's what matters." "Daddy?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to" "Patricia, you want to give me another heart attack?" "What are you doing working so late?" "What's all this?" "That's my master plan, Dad." "I want Wood  Jones Printers to move into the world of high speed copiers." "Did you read it?" "What do you think?" "Well, it's an awful lot of money to spend in one fell swoop." "You know, that's exactly what I thought Dad, and then it came to me." "Lease it. I mean, that way it'd only cost about eight grand a month." "I know, that's not peanuts, but..." "Dad, it looks like offset." "People won't have to go to an offset printer." "They can come to us, we can keep more stuff in house." "Well, I see you've got it all figured out." "You know, I could work sixteen hours a day and it wouldn't be enough." "You know how late I work." "I know you came here to make up with me." "Me?" "I'm still waiting for an apology." "You'll be waiting a while." "Dad, I have opinions." "I have to have them and stick to them." "Make decisions. I have to." "You asked me to when you asked me-  l didn't ask you to bankrupt" " No, Dad, you have to hear this!" "When you asked me to take over, when you asked me to run this business..." "maybe you didn't know, what you were asking, God knows I didn't..." "and sometimes I miss how it used to be when I never questioned you." "But I've turned some sort of corner with this and I can't go back." "Yeah, well, that's your..." "that's your own business." "So why does there have to be this distance between us?" "It's not my doing." "All right, now." "It's all right." "Careful, I didn't shave today." " The good thing about being retired." " l don't care." "When you were a little girl..." "I'd go to give you a kiss good night..." "but if I hadn't shaved, you pushed me away." "Said my whiskers were too rough." "They were then." "That's what it is to raise a girl." "Walking on egg shells half the time." "Are you hungry?" "Come on, I'll buy you a piece of pie." "I thought you were asleep hours ago." "So, it seems that the breakup of the Beatles had..." "less to do with Yoko Ono, and more to do with the fact that..." "Paul wanted Linda's father to be their new business manager." "Why do you think people give her such a hard time?" "Because she can't sing?" "I've worked so hard..." "to please him, you know?" "He doesn't realize..." "what this all costs me." "He has never really known what I'm worth." "You know, sometimes I think..." "that I partly married you because..." " l knew..." " Knew what?" "That you'd be a really good father." "A different kind of father." "You are." "Graham?" "Listen to me." "I don't want to lose her." "But you have to, just for a little while." "You have to let her push you away and not punish her for it." "All she's doing is pushing you off your pedestal..." "and she's right to do that, she has to do it." "She's right on schedule." "She's not a thousand years late, like I am." "So, what do I do?" "Stand your ground." "You let her know that no matter how hard she pushes you away..." "you'll still be there." "I love you." "I love you, too..." "so much." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey, you want to give me a hand with this?" "Want to give me a hand?" "For a second!" "Give me a hand!" "This!" "Want to?" "Come over here!" "For a second." "Give me a hand!" "Gee, thanks." "I'd like to help you sir..." "but I'm too busy picturing your daughter naked." "Take that out to your father." " Mom said I should bring this to you." " Just put it down there." " Give me a hand with this." " Now?" "Yeah, now." "Come up here and, hold this in place, please." "You want to use this thing, work out a little of that pent up anger?" "You're the one that's angry." "So, tell me, what did you get for the tickets?" "All together $1 20, but I owed this guy thirty dollars." "Really?" "And why is that?" "Dad, I can't get into it." "It's too stupid and complicated." "So that leaves ninety dollars profit." "You'd better declare that as income." " Declare it to who?" " To me." "You get my point?" "So Rayanne said the concert was really good." "Can I turn this off?" "What do you like listening to these days?" "I don't know." "Smashing Pumpkins, Rage Against the Machine, Porno for Pyros" "Oh yeah, I love their Christmas album." "Stone Temple Pilots, I like Billie Holliday." " Wait, you like Billie Holliday?" " Yeah."