"Hark the herald angels sing" "Glory to the newborn king" "Peace on Earth and mercy mild" "God and sinners reconciled" "Joyful all the nations..." "There will be no peace on Earth with all that blooming noise going on." " Here you are, boys." " Thanks, guv'nor." "Come on." "All right, come on, hurry up." " All right, all right." "Come on, this house here." "Hark the herald angels sing" "Glory to the newborn king" "Peace on Earth and mercy mild" "God and sinners reconciled" "Joyful all ye nations rise" "Join the triumph of the skies" "With the angelic host proclaim" "Christ is born in Bethlehem" "Infernal, horrible caterwauling." "Hark the herald angels sing" "Glory to the newborn king" "Why can't they leave a man in peace?" "Get on with your work, Cratchit." "Hark the herald angels sing Glory to..." " Merry Christmas." " Get away from me, you scavengers." "Blimey." "Who's he?" "That's Father Christmas." "A plague on Father Christmas." "And he sends his best to you too, guv'nor." " Regards, Father Christmas." " Humbug." "Insolent young ruffians." "Coming here with their Christmas nonsense." "Beware, Cratchit." "You have a dangerous sense of humor." "Hell fire and damnation." "Don't they know that I'm trying to run a business here?" "Uncle Ebenezer, I cannot tell you what a joy it is to see your happy, smiling face." " Hmm, it's you." " A Merry Christmas, Uncle Ebenezer." "God save you." "God save me from Christmas." "It's a lot of humbug." "Christmas a humbug?" "Come now, I'm sure you don't mean that." "And I'm sure that I do mean that." "Merry Christmas indeed." "What reason have you got to be merry?" "You're poor enough." "What reason have you got to be miserable?" "You're rich enough." "There is no such thing as rich enough." "Only poor enough." "Don't be so dismal, Uncle Ebenezer." "What else can I be when I live in a world full of fools babbling Merry Christmas at one another?" "What's Christmas but a time for finding yourself a year older and not a day richer?" "There's nothing merry in that." "If I could work my will, nephew, every idiot who goes about with Merry Christmas on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart." "Oh, God forbid, uncle." "You keep Christmas in your way and let me keep it in mine." "But you don't keep it." "Then let me..." "Get off my ledger." "You'll ruin my binding." "Then let me leave it alone, sir." "And be good enough to leave me alone during business hours." "Seven o'clock on Christmas eve?" "That's not business hours." "That's drudgery for the sake of it." "And an insult to all men of good will." " Hear, hear." " Thank you, Bob Cratchit." "Another word from you, Cratchit, and you will celebrate Christmas by losing your position." "Yes, sir." "Sorry, Mr. Scrooge." "You're quite a powerful speaker, sir." "I wonder you don't go into politics." "You're fool enough." "Come now." "Don't be angry." "Dine with me wife and me tomorrow." "As though you hadn't got enough problems, you went and got yourself married." "Now why in God's name did you ever do that?" "Because I fell in love with the lady." "If there's one thing in the world more nauseating than a Merry Christmas, it's the hypocrisy of a happy marriage with some idiot lovesick female." "Good afternoon, sir." "My offer stands." "You are always welcome, uncle." "Just like Christmas itself." "I said good afternoon." "Merry Christmas, uncle." "You too, Bob Cratchit." "And your family." "Thank you, sir." "And to your good lady." "Oh, and uncle, happy New Year." "Good afternoon." "Excuse me, sir." "But, well, it's 7:00, sir." "Correct, Cratchit." "Well, I don't wish to be impertinent, Mr. Scrooge, but, uh, would it be too much trouble for me to have my, uh, wages, sir?" "The trouble with you, Cratchit, is that all you think of is pleasure." "Pleasure and squandering money." "You'll, uh..." "You'll be wanting the whole day off tomorrow, I suppose." " If it's convenient, sir." " No, sir." "It is not convenient." "And it is not fair." "Yet if I stopped your wages for it, you'd think yourself ill-used no doubt." "And yet you don't think me ill used when I pay a day's wages for no work." "Well, it is Christmas day, Mr. Scrooge." "And it is only once a year, sir." "A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December." "I don't pay good money for you to be forever on holiday." "I appreciate your kindness, Mr. Scrooge." "That's my weakness." "I'm a martyr to my own generosity." "I give you one Christmas day off and you expect them all." "Very well, take the day." "Thank you, sir." "But be here all the earlier the next morning." "Yes, sir." "I will, sir." "Thank you very much." "Oh, and, uh, Merry Christmas, Mr. Scrooge." "Be gone from here and take your infernal Merry Christmas with you." "I beg your pardon, sir." "No offense, sir." "There's another one." "Fifteen shillings a week." "A wife and five children." "Still talks of a Merry Christmas." "Kathy, my dear." "Oh, you're both frozen." "I'm sorry I'm late." "But Mr. Scrooge and I had a lot of last-minute business to attend to." "Well, my loves, which one do you like best, eh?" "I like that dolly in the corner." "I like all of them." "Ha, ha." "Good boy." "And why not one in particular?" "Well, you said I can't have none of them, so I might as well like them all." "Tim, you are a philosopher and a gentleman." "And I've got 15 shillings in my pocket." "Fifteen shillings?" "Fifteen shillings." "Which says that the Cratchit family are gonna have as good a Christmas as the lord mayor of London himself." "Oh, I do like that dolly in the corner." "Christmas children Peep into Christmas windows" "See a world as pretty as a dream" "Christmas trees and toys" "Christmas puddings Rich with Christmas cream" "Christmas presents shine In the Christmas windows" "Christmas boxes Tied with pretty bows" "Wonder what's inside" "What delights they hide" "But 'til Christmas morning No one knows" "You with five children, Bob." "Five for a shilling." "Thank you, John." "Won't it be exciting if it snows?" "I suppose that children everywhere" "Will say a Christmas prayer" "'Til Santa brings Their Christmas things" "There, my loves." "I've bought you the finest bird in the shop." "Well, for one and ten pence ha' penny." "Christmas children Live in a Christmas daydream" "Waiting for the magic to unfold" "Wondrous things to eat" "Every Christmas treat" "Rich or not The Christmas pot of gold" "Hypnotizes children young and old" "Quite right, Mr. Cratchit." "With your lot to feed, apples at six a penny are the best bet." "I'd rather have the dolly in the corner." "I'd rather have the oranges." "And 1846 is the best vintage in 20 years." "At that price it should be." " Your change, sir." " Thank you, Mr. Bissett." " And a happy Christmas to you." " Happy Christmas to you, sir." "This will make the finest quality punch, Mr. C." "And only tuppence a pint." "Christmas punch, it's a Cratchit specialty." "Four pence for a Christmas pudding." "Scandalous." " It's Papa." " Where is he?" "Here we are, my loves." "Look what we've brought for you." "And about time too, Bob Cratchit." "We were beginning to think you'd all gone away for Christmas." "Christmas children Hunger for Christmas morning" "Thank you." "Christmas day's a wonder to behold" "Young ones' dreams come true" "Not so young ones too" "I believe that story we've been told" "You're not the only ones who have been busy." "Come and see what we've been up to." "Christmas is for children Young and old" " Uh, good evening." " Good evening, sir." "Have we the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?" "It's no pleasure to me, sir, to be addressed by either of you." "And Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years." "Seven years ago this very night he died." "We've no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner." "Uh, Mr. Scrooge." "Uh, sir, at this festive season of the year, sir, it is more than usually desirable, uh, that we should make some slight provision for the poor and the destitute." "Excellent." "Then I suggest you do so." "You miss our point, sir." "The poor suffer greatly at the present time." "Many thousands are in want of common necessaries." " Are there no prisons?" " Oh, indeed there are, sir." "That's something there's no shortage of." "And the workhouses, are they still in operation?" "They are, sir." "I wish I could say they were not." "I'm very glad to hear it." "For a moment I was afraid that something had occurred to stop them in their useful purpose." "Oh, but, sir." "A few of us are endeavoring to raise a fund to buy the poor some meat and drink and means of warmth." "We choose this time, sir, because it is a time when want is keenly felt and abundance rejoices." " What may we put you down for, sir?" " Nothing, sir." "Ah, you wish to be anonymous." "I wish to be left alone, sir." "That is what I wish." "I don't make myself merry at Christmas and I cannot afford to make idle people merry." "I have been forced to support the establishments I have mentioned through taxation." "And God knows they cost more than they are worth." "Those who are badly off must go there." "Many would rather die than go there." "If they would rather die then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population." "Good night, gentlemen." "Humbug." "Poppycock." "Balderdash." "Bah." "Scavengers and sycophants" "And flatterers and fools" "Pharisees and parasites And hypocrites and ghouls" "Calculating swindlers Prevaricating frauds" "Perpetrating evil As they roam the earth in hordes." "Feeding on their fellow men Reaping rich rewards" "Contaminating everything they see" "Corrupting honest men" "Like me" "I hate people" "People are despicable creatures." "Loathsome, inexplicable creatures" "Good for nothing, kickable creatures" "I hate people" "I abhor them" "When I see the indolent classes Sitting on their indolent arses" "Gulping ale from indolent glasses" "I hate people" "I detest them" "I deplore them" "Knives, scissors or razors to grind." "Fools who have no money spend it" "Get in debt then try to end it" "Beg me on their knees befriend them" "Knowing I have cash to lend them" "Softhearted me" "Hard-working me" "Clean-living, thrifty And kind as can be" "Situations like this Are of interest to me" "It's Mr. Scrooge." "Knives, scissors or razors to grind." "Two pounds, 5 shillings, ladies." "Due before Christmas." "That means today." "But you see, Mr. Scrooge, sir, we've been giving more credit than usual." "That's your business, madam." "Mine is to collect 2 pounds, 5 shillings now." "We sell things for children, sir." "At this time of the year people can't afford to pay." "Neither can I afford it, madam." "However, I will allow you an extra week's credit." "Oh, thank you, Mr. Scrooge." "Which will only cost you a further 12 shillings." "Twelve." "Oh, but, Mr. Scrooge." "But we scarcely make that much in a week." "If you would prefer me to confiscate your store and its contents, which is my legal right, I will do so." " But we will pay, sir." " We will pay, sir." "You'll both sign this." "Knives, scissors or razors to grind." " And you can give me a pair of these." " Certainly, Mr. Scrooge." "Oh, look, there's that lovable Father Christmas again." "Merry Christmas, sir." "A penny for the baby, sir." "A penny for the baby, sir." "Lavender." "Sweet lavender." "I hate people" "I loathe people" "I despise and abominate people" "Move over." "Life is full of cretinous wretches" "Earning what Their sweatiness fetches" "Empty minds Whose pettiness stretches" "Further than I can see" "Little wonder" "I hate people" "And I don't care if they hate me" "Not now, Mr. Scrooge, please." "Two pounds 7 and 6, Miller." "And now is as good a time as any." "Stop it, stop it." " But I'm performing." " You're always performing." " Where's my money?" " Tomorrow for sure, Mr. Scrooge." "After the Christmas morning show." "It's my best day of the year." "Tomorrow it will be 2 pounds 10 or I confiscate your puppets." "All right, Mr. Scrooge." "Two pounds 10." "Oh, what a pity." "What a pity." "Father Christmas, Father Christmas" "He's the meanest man In the whole wide world" "In the whole wide world You can feel it" " He's a miser" " He's a skinflint" "He's a stingy lout" "Leave your stocking out For your Christmas gift" "And he'll steal it" "It's a shame he's a villain" "What a game for a villain To play on Christmas day" "Hark the herald angels sing Glory to the..." "Thank you, guv'nor." "Father Christmas Father Christmas" "Will be just as mean As he's ever been" "And I'm here to say We should all send Father Christmas" "Get out of here." "On his Merry Christmas way" "Come on." "Wait for me." "Father Christmas Father Christmas" "He's the rottenest man In the universe" "There's no one worse, you can tell it" " He's a rascal" " He's a bandit" " Scum." " Come along." "He's a crafty one" "Leave your door undone He'll go in your house" "And sell it" "Here's your money, sir." "Pray count it." "You waste breath, sir." "No one has ever short-changed me." "It's a crime" "It's a scandal" "What a game for a vandal to play On Christmas day" "Beat it." "Merry Christmas, sir." "Merry Christmas." "Lavender." "Sweet lavender." "Sweet lavender." "Hot broth, Mr. Scrooge, a small token of Christmas esteem with the compliments of Tom Jenkins." "No." "And there'll be a free can of broth, sir, every night for the coming year in gratitude for your infinite kindness in giving me another two weeks to pay." "One week." " Ten days?" " One week." " One week." " And put a lid on that stuff." "I'll take it home." "If you distrust Father Christmas" "It's as well to know That we told you so" "Because I'm here to say We should all send Father Christmas" "Beat it." " Father Christmas" " Father Christmas" "On his Merry Christmas way" "Scrooge." "Marley?" "Humbug." "Merry Christmas, guv'nor." "Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." "Scrooge." "It's humbug still." "I'll not believe it." "Scrooge." "How now." "What do you want with me?" "Much." "Who are you?" "In life, I was your partner, Jacob Marley." "Can you sit down?" "Of course I can sit down." "Do so then." "You don't believe in me, do you?" "No, I don't." "Why do you doubt the evidence of your own eyes?" "Because I've had a slight stomach disorder." "It's undoubtedly affected my vision." "You're an hallucination." "Probably brought on by an undigested bit of beef or a blob of mustard, or a crumb of cheese or an old potato." "Yes, that's what you are." "You are an old potato." "You do not exist, Jacob Marley." "It's humbug I tell you." "It's a lot of..." "No!" "I beseech you!" "Stop!" "Now do you believe in me?" "I believe in you absolutely." "But why do you walk the earth?" "Why do you come to persecute me?" "And what is that great chain you wear?" "I wear the chain I forged in life." "I made it link by link and yard by yard while on Earth." "And now I'll never be rid of it any more than you will ever be rid of yours." "Mine?" "It was as heavy and long as this seven Christmases ago." "It's a terrible ponderous chain you are making, Scrooge." "Tell me more, Marley, but speak comfort to me." " I have none to give." " None?" "Comfort comes from other sources, Ebenezer Scrooge." "And is given by other ministers than I to other kinds of men than you." "When I lived, my spirit, like yours, never walked beyond the narrow limits of our counting house." "But you were always a good man of business." "Mankind should be our business, Ebenezer." "But we seldom attend to it, as you shall see." "Marley!" "Marley." "Marley." "See the phantoms Filling the sky around you" "They astound you I can tell" "These inhabitants of hell" "Poor wretches Whom the hand of heaven ignores" "Beware Beware" "Beware" "Lest their dreadful fate be yours" "It was a dream." "Yes, that's what it was." "A dream." "It's not a dream, Ebenezer." "For pity's sake, Marley." "Leave me in peace." "It was for pity's sake I came here." "Pity for you." "I leave you with just the tiniest chance of escaping my fate." "You were always a good friend to me, Jacob." "Thank you." "You will be visited by three ghosts." "I..." "I think I'd rather not." "The first will appear tonight when the bell tolls 1." "Couldn't I take them all at once, and get it over with, Jacob?" "The second at 2:00." "And the third when the bell tolls 3." " I must go now." " Marley, wait." "I'm doomed to wander through the world in everlasting repentance." "Remember what has passed between us." "Farewell, Scrooge." "Three ghosts?" "Ha." "Three humbugs." "Half past 10?" "Quarter to 11?" "One o'clock?" "Who are you?" "I am the spirit whose coming was foretold to you." " You don't look like a ghost." " Thank you." "May I enquire more precisely who or what you are?" "I am the Ghost of Christmas Past." " Long past?" " No, your past." " What business brings you here?" " Your welfare." "To be woken by a ghost at 1:00 in the morning is hardly conducive to my welfare." "Your redemption, then." "Rise and walk with me." "Where are we going?" "We are going to look at your childhood." "Sing a song of gladness and cheer" "For the time of Christmas is here" "Look around about you and see" "What a world of wonder This world can be" "Sing a Christmas carol Sing a Christmas carol" "Sing a Christmas carol Like the children do" "Enjoy the beauty All the joy and beauty" "That a Merry Christmas Can bring to you" "Do you remember these children?" "Of course." "All of them." "London bridge is falling down My fair lady" "For the time of Christmas is here" "Sing a song of sixpence A pocket full of rye" "Look around about you and see" "Here we go round the mulberry bush On a cold and frosty morning" "Look, there's my little sister." " Fran." "Fran." " Sing a Christmas carol" "Fran!" "Why doesn't she wave back?" "She cannot see you." "These are but shadows of the things that have been." "That a Merry Christmas Can bring to you" "I could never join in those Christmas parties." "The school is not quite empty, is it?" "A solitary boy neglected by his family is left there still." "Poor boy." "I wish..." " What is it?" " Ugh, nothing, nothing." "What is it you wish?" "There were some boys singing a Christmas carol outside my door last night." "I should have given them something, that's all." "Let us look at another Christmas." "Ebby." "Dear, dear brother." " I've come to bring you home." " Home with you, Fran?" "Father is so much kinder than he used to be." "He sent me in a coach to bring you home, Ebby." "We're to be together all Christmas long." "Go and fetch your things." "Always a delicate creature whom a breath might have withered." "But she had a large heart." "She had." "I'll not deny it." "She died a woman and I believe had children." "One child." "Your nephew." "Yes." "There is a Christmas that you really enjoyed." "Why, it's old Fezziwig alive again." "I was his apprentice." "Yo-ho, Ebenezer." "Yo-ho, Dick." "Hi-de-ho and chirrup." "No more work today, me boys." "Hi-de-hi, it's Christmas Eve, Dick." "It's Christmas, Ebenezer." "Now come on, clear everything away before a man can say Jack Robinson." "And make some room here before Mrs. Fezziwig and my daughters arrive with the punchbowl." "My word, I am a good-looking chap." "And strong too." "I used to carry sacks around all day." "And that other fellow." "I remember him." "Dick Wilkins." "Nice young fellow." "Very attached to me he was." "Dear, oh, dear." "Mrs. Fezziwig." "Me very dear friends." "There will now be happiness and contentment in this room, the like of which none of us has ever seen before." "Begin." "Of all the days In all the year that I'm familiar with" "There's only one that's really fun" " December the 25th" " Correct" "Ask anyone called Robinson Or Brown or Jones or Smith" "Their favorite day and they will say" " December the 25th" " Correct" "December the 25th, my dears December the 25th" "The dearest day in all the year" " December the 25th" " Correct" "December the 25th" "Mrs. Fezziwig." " December the 25th" " Correct" "At times we're glad to see the back Of all our kin and kith" "But there's a date we celebrate" " December the 25th" " Correct" "At times our friends may seem To be devoid of wit and pith" "But all of us are humorous" " December the 25th" " Correct" "December the 25th, my dears December the 25th" "The dearest day in all the year" "December the 25th" "Why didn't you join the dance?" "Because I couldn't do it." "December the 25th, my dears December the 25th" "The dearest day in all the year" " December the 25th" " Correct." "If there's a day in history That's more than any myth" "Beyond a doubt, one day stands out" " December the 25th" " Correct" "I don't hear any arguments So may I say forthwith" " I wish that every day could be" " December the 25th" "Go on." "Now, go on, go on." "Go on." "Oh, me?" "What a marvelous man." "What's so marvelous?" "He's merely spent a few pounds of your mortal money, three or four perhaps." "What is that to be deserving of so much praise?" "You don't understand." "He has the power to make us happy or unhappy, to make our work a pleasure or a burden." "It's nothing to do with money." "December the 25th, my dears December the 25th" "The dearest day in all the year" "December the 25th, my dears" "December the 25th, my dears" "Isabel." "Fezziwig's daughter." "You were going to marry her, weren't you?" "Yes." "You, you were new to me" "You, you were spring" "You, you were true to me" "You, you were everything" "They say happiness Is a thing you can't see" "A thing you can't touch, I disagree" "Here we are." "Happiness is standing beside me" "I can see him, he can see me" "Happiness is whatever You want it to be" "Happiness is a high hill" "Will I find it?" "Yes, I will" "Happiness is a tall tree" "Can I climb it?" "Watch and see" "They say happiness Is the folly of fools" "Pity poor me, one of the fools" "Happiness is smiling upon me" "Walking my way, sharing my day" "Happiness is whatever You want it to be" "Happiness is a bright star" "Are we happy?" "Yes, we are" "Happiness is a clear sky" "Give me wings and let me fly" "Let me fly" "For happiness" "Is whatever you want it to be" "You, you were good for me" "You were my day" "Did all you could for me" "I let you go away" "I did love her, you know." " Did you?" " Oh, yes, I loved her." "Then why did you let her go?" "I've never been quite sure." "Then let us go and see." " Ebenezer?" " Yeah?" "I've come to say goodbye." "I am going away, Ebenezer." "You will not see me again." "But you were gonna marry me." "No." "You have found another love to replace me." "She's much more desirable than I am." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "This lady here." "How shall I ever understand this world?" "There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty and yet, there is nothing it condemns with such severity as the pursuit of wealth." "You fear the world too much, Ebenezer." "All your nobler dreams that I loved I've seen die off one by one until only the desire for gain is left." "I'm not changed towards you, am I?" "Yes, you are." "Your promise to me was made when you were poor and content to be so." " You were someone else then." " I was a boy." "You see?" "Your own feelings tell you that you are not what you were." "I see that all too clearly." "And so I can release you." "Have I ever asked to be released?" "In words, no." "But in a changed nature, yes." "In everything that made my love of value to you, yes." "If you met me today, you would not love me." " I would, I do." " Shh." " I still do." " I'm trying to listen." "Isabel, I find it impossible to discuss personal affairs during business hours." "Now, please." "You see?" "If you weigh me by gain, I weigh very little." "And so I am not enough for you." "And I release you with a full heart for the love of him you once were." "Say something, you fool." "Say something." "You may, for a little while, have pain in this, but it will pass." "And you will dismiss the recollection of it gladly as an unprofitable dream from which it happened well that you awoke." "Don't go, it's a mistake." "Don't go." "Be happy in the life you have chosen." "Isabel." "Isabel?" "Isabel." "You fool." "You fool" "I let you go away" "And now I can see" "Now you're a dream gone by" "Oh, how could there be" "Such a fool as I?" "I who must travel on" "What hope for me?" "Dream where my past has gone" "Live with a memory" "You, my only hope" "You, my only love" "You, you" "You" "Spirit, remove me from this place." "I can bear it no more." "Stupid old fool." "Getting yourself all upset over nothing." "It's all in your imagination." "The first at 1, the second at 2." "I'm ready for you, wherever you are." "Nothing." "Ebenezer Scrooge." "Come here, Scrooge." "I'm waiting for you." "Or shall I come in there and get you?" "I'm coming." "I'm coming, I'm coming." "Welcome, Scrooge." "Is it too bright for you?" "Come over here, you weird little man." "I am the Spirit of Christmas Present." "Now look upon me." "You have never seen the like of me before." "Never." "Yet, how many of my brothers have you rejected in your miserable lifetime?" "I have never met any of your brothers, sir." "You have never looked for them." "Well, how many of them are there?" "What year is this?" "1860." "Then I have 1, 859 brothers." "Each year at this time, one of us visits this puny little planet to spread some happiness, and to remove as many as we can of the causes of human misery." "Which is why I have come to see you, Ebenezer Scrooge." "You're a funny-looking little creature." "I must admit, I found it hard to believe you'd be as horrible as my brothers said you'd be." "But now that I look at you, I can see they were understating the truth." "Let me assure you that I am a man of the highest principles and the most generous spirit." "Generous spirit?" "You?" "You don't know the meaning of the phrase." "But you're about to find out." "Now, drink this." " What is it?" " Taste it." "Do you like it?" "It's wonderful." "I've never tasted anything like it." "Of course you haven't." " What is it?" " The milk of human kindness." "There are more good things in this life, Scrooge, than you can possibly imagine." "I'm sure there are." "Can I have some more?" "Ebenezer Scrooge The sins of man are huge" "A never-ending symphony Of villainy and infamy" "Duplicity, deceit and subterfuge" "And no one's worse Than Ebenezer Scrooge" "Though man's a handy candidate For hell" "I must admit, life sometimes Has its brighter side as well" "I like life, life likes me" "Life and I fairly fully agree" "Life is fine, life is good" "Especially mine Which is just as it should be" "I like pouring the wine and why not?" "Life's a pleasure that I deny not" "I like life here and now" "Life and I made a mutual vow" "Till I die, life and I" "We'll both try to be better somehow" "And if life were a woman She would be my wife" " Why?" " Why?" "Because I like life" "That's all very well for you, but not for me." "I hate life." "Nonsense, man." "Why?" "Because life hates me, that's why." "Scrooge, you're an even bigger fool than I took you for." "I've never heard such a lot of self-pitying drivel." "You don't even know how to live." "Now you listen to me." "I like life" "Well, go on." "I like life" "That's better." "Life likes me" "Life likes me" "Good, good." "I make life a perpetual spree" "A perpetual spree" "Eating food" "Drinking wine" "Thinking who'd like the privilege To dine me" "I like drinking the drink I'm drinking" "That's better, Scrooge." "I like thinking the thoughts I'm thinking" "I like songs, I like dance" "I hear music and I'm in a trance" "Chances are we shall get up And prance" "Where there's music and laughter Happiness is rife" " Why?" " Why?" "Because I like life" "Where there's music and laughter" "Happiness is rife" "Why?" "Because I like life" "See how much we like life" "What happened?" "What's happened?" "What the devil am I doing in a pile of snow in the middle of the night?" "That's what I'd like to know." "Where are we?" "Now, Scrooge, over there lies the lavish home of Robert Cratchit, esquire, who owes both the opulence of his surroundings and the magnificence of his Christmas celebrations to the high principles and generous spirit of his employer." "Here." "I want to look in the window." "It will cost you nothing, which I'm sure will be good news for you." "Will they be able to see me?" "No, which I feel sure will be good news for them." "I could do with another of them drinks." "Later." "For the time being, I think it better you see things as they really are." "Oh, nectar." "Pure nectar." "And at only tuppence a pint, you can't really grumble." "What a tragedy it is that Her Majesty and His Worship the Lord Mayor couldn't be with us tonight." "They don't know what they're missing." "Now you try that, my love." "Bob Cratchit, you're a genius." "The stuffing's ready, father." "The marriage of roast goose and sage and onion stuffing à la Cratchit is one of the culinary miracles of our day." "And a living legend throughout the length and breadth of Camden Town." "Now, the only remaining problem, my dear, is whether to put the stuffing inside the goose or the goose inside the stuffing." "But since the ultimate intention is to put them both inside ourselves," "I don't suppose it very much matters." "And here they are, the one and only carol-singing Cratchits." "Newly returned from their triumphant musical tour." "How did you do, Tiny Tim?" " Ten pence ha'penny." " Ooh." "Well done." "Another fantastic coup by young Timothy Cratchit." "The financial wizard." "At only 7 years of age, the youngest millionaire in the vast Cratchit empire." "Ladies and gentlemen, if I may steal a moment of your valuable time," "I would ask you to drink a toast to the sparkling good health of the two gentlemen whose industry and generosity have provided our sumptuous Christmas repast." " Master Timothy Cratchit." " Tim." "And Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge." "What are you trying to do, ruin our Christmas?" "But his money paid for the goose, my dear." "No, your money paid for the goose, my dear." "But he paid me the money." "Because you earned it, my love." "Fifteen shillings a week at three pence an hour." "And not a penny rise in eight years." "Believe me, you earned it." "Oh, Mr. Scrooge assures me that times are hard." "He's right." "For you they are." "But not for himself." "Well, nonetheless, he is the founder of our feast and we shall drink to him." "Quite right." "You, listen to this." "The founder of our feast indeed." "I wish I had him here." "I'd give him a piece of my mind to feast upon." "He'd have indigestion for a month." "Ethel, my dear, the children." "It's Christmas." "It needs to be Christmas, Bob, to drink to a rotten, hard, stingy old miser like Scrooge." " But, Ethel..." " You know he is, Bob." "Nobody knows it better than you, my poor love." "To Christmas, my dear." "Children, we shall drink to your father, for all the love and happiness he gives us." "And to Tiny Tim for the health we wish him." "And for the sake of your father," "I'll even drink to that old miser, Mr. Scrooge." "Long life to him and to us all." "A Merry Christmas to us all." "Merry Christmas." "God bless us." "God bless us, everyone." "As I said to the Lord Mayor, if Her Most Gracious Majesty is feeling bored, I said, you wheel her over to Camden town, I said." "A glass of Bob Cratchit's hot punch and a song from Tiny Tim and we'll have her back on her regal feet in no time." "Well, there's your punch." "Now where's our song, my Tiny Tim?" " Tiny Tim." " Come on, Tim." " Song, song now." " Come on, Tim." "On a beautiful day That I dream about" "In a world I would love to see" "Is a beautiful place Where the sun comes out" "And it shines in the sky for me" "On this beautiful winter's morning" "If my wish could come true somehow" "Then the beautiful day That I dream about" "Would be here and now" "On this beautiful winter's morning" "If my wish could come true somehow" "Then the beautiful day That I dream about" "Would be here" "And now" "Good boy." "Well done, Tiny Tim, well done." "What an unpleasant child." "You know, Scrooge, there are few things more nauseating to see than a happy family enjoying themselves at Christmas." "Do you not agree?" "I think Bob Cratchit's really rather fond of me." "Ho-ho-ho." "And so is his wife." "Couldn't you tell?" "She doesn't really know me." "That is one of the few things wherein fate has blessed her." "And, uh, what will become of Tiny Tim?" "What's this?" "Concern over a sick child?" "Have you taken leave of your senses?" "Don't mock me, spirit." "Is the child very sick?" "Not that it's of any great importance to me whether he is or not, but is he?" "Well, of course he's sick." "You mean he's seriously ill?" "Will he live?" "Well, will he?" "What does it matter to you, Ebenezer Scrooge?" "If he's going to die, then he'd better do it and decrease the surplus population." "We have one more call to make." "Ladies and gentlemen, will you please honor me with your undivided attention?" "The time has come that I know you all look forward to in this house every Christmas Eve, when I ask you to drink to the good health and long life of my celebrated Uncle Ebenezer." "Sounds to me as if he knows I'm here." "Of course he doesn't." "He can't see you." "Harry, I've visited you every Christmas for the past five years, and to this day I can never understand this extraordinary ritual of toasting the health of your old Uncle Ebenezer." "I mean, everybody knows he's the most miserable old skinflint that ever walked God's earth." " Who's he?" " Oh, just a friend." "My dear Tom, it's very simple." "He is indeed the most despicable old miser, worse than you could ever possibly imagine." " You find this amusing?" " Believe it or not, he likes you." "You see, I look at it this way:" "If I can wish a Merry Christmas to him, who is beyond dispute the most obnoxious and parsimonious of all living creatures..." "Hear." "Then I know in my heart that I am truly a man of goodwill." " Scoundrel." " Wait, there's more to come." "And besides, I like old Scrooge." " What did I tell you?" " Truly I do." "I can't help feeling that hidden somewhere deep inside that loathsome old carcass of his there's a different man fighting to get out." "Be careful, he may be worse than the one you know." "Oh, God forbid, Tom." "Anyway, that's the reason I ask him to come here every Christmas." "In the forlorn hope that one day he might pick up enough goodwill to raise his clerk's wages by five shillings a week." "Hear, hear." "God knows it's high time he did." "He's playing with other people's money." "All right, Harry, that's enough." "I refuse to have Christmas haunted by Uncle Ebenezer." "We'll have some dancing and some music." "Then we'll play some splendid party games." "There's a charming new game called The Minister's Cat." "It's very funny." "You'll all end up getting very angry when you lose." "And as for you, nephew, if you were in my will, I'd disinherit you." "Scrooge." "Come over here." "You need some more of this." "Raise my clerk's wages." "I know that tune." "I used to sing it when I was a lad." "The minister's cat is a lonely cat" "The minister's cat is a languid cat" "The minister's cat is a lordly cat" "The minister's cat is a lazy cat" "The minister's cat is a ludicrous cat" "The minister's cat is a lascivious cat" "The minister's cat is a..." " Too late, you're out." " Oh, no." "He's out, he's out." "He's out." "You see, they get furious when they lose." "It's lovely." "He's out, next M. Come on, M, M, M." "Now M." "The minister's cat is a marvelous cat" "The minister's cat is a marmalade cat" " Marmalade." " The minister's cat is a miserable cat" " Miserable." " The minister's cat is a merciful cat" " Merciful." " The minister's cat is a..." "Uh..." "Merry, say merry." " Oh, damn it." " I told you to say merry." "Why are you so stupid?" "He's always been stupid." " Stop yawning when I'm talking to you." " What next?" " N, N." " N." " The minister's cat is a naughty cat" " Quickly, quickly." " The minister's cat is a noble cat" " Noble cat." " The minister's cat is a nebulous cat" " Nebulous." " The minister's cat is a..." " Nasty cat." " Oh, no, no." " Oh, no, no, I'm not out." " I was just about to say nasty." " You fool, it's too late." "You could have said neglectful, nervous, nauseating." "You're out, you're out, you're out." "The minister's cat is an orange cat" " The minister's cat is an old cat" " Yes." "Look, I was rather good at it but I..." "But I didn't..." "Oh, thank you, my boy." "What a wonderful evening." "That Minister's Cat game, splendid." "I thought I was rather good at it." "Good night, good night." "Thank you." "I can honestly say that I haven't enjoyed a Christmas as much as this since I was a young apprentice at old Fezziwig's so, so many years ago." "Yes." "What Christmases we used to have in those days." "Fantastic they were." "He had this daughter." "Reminded me a little bit of your mother, she did." "Her name was Isabel." "Oh, Isabel." "They say happiness" "Is the folly of fools" "Pity poor me, one of the fools" " Happiness" " Happiness..." "Was standing beside me." "I could see her" "She could see me" "Happiness is whatever" "You want it to be" "Yes, Scrooge." "I have brought you home." "You're not going?" "My time upon this little planet is very brief." "I must leave you now." "But we still have so much to talk about, haven't we?" "There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish." "The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time that you have." " Yes, but..." " Remember, Scrooge, time is short." "And suddenly, you're not there anymore." "No, wait." "Don't go." "Don't leave me." "Where are you?" "Why is it so dark?" "I can't see." "I can't see, I can't see." "I can't see, I can't..." "Oh, my God." "What am I doing here?" "Oh, I'm in bed." "That's what I'm doing here." "This is where I'm supposed to be in the middle of the night." "Was I dreaming again?" "I must have been." "That giant." "I must be mad." "There are no giants." "There are no ghosts." "Am I in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?" "And you are to show me shadows of the things that will happen in the time before?" "Is that so, spirit?" "Ghost of the Future, I fear you more than any apparition I have seen." "But as I know your purpose is to do me good, and as I hope to be another man from what I was," "I am prepared to bear you company." "Will you speak to me?" "The night is waning fast and I know that time is precious to me." "Lead on, spirit." "Lead on." "There you are, me friends." "Shining as bright as the happy thoughts the mere mention of the name Scrooge brings to our minds." "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today because we are united by a common bond." "Yeah!" "Namely our feelings of gratitude to Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge." "I don't think any of us can ever hope to find the words to describe the true depth of our feelings towards him." "Is this the future?" "All right, my friends, all right." "I understand your excitement." "That's Tom Jenkins, the hot soup man." " We are all overjoyed..." " He owes me 6 pounds." "I must say he looks uncommonly happy for someone so deep in debt." "All these people owe me money." "They love me and I never knew." "Kindly hold down your emotions, if you please." " Now, we are all deeply moved." " Yes." "And those of us what has been in debt to Mr. S over all these years will never forget what a rare and beautiful thing he has just done for us all." " Right?" " Right." "Three cheers for Mr. Scrooge." " Hip, hip, hooray!" " Hooray!" "What did I do?" "What did I do?" "Whatever it was, it has made them truly happy, and I am the cause." "My friends, I thank you from the bottom of my heart." "I shall remember this moment until my dying day." "For he's a jolly good fellow" "For he's a jolly good fellow" "And so say all of us" "May I say in all humility" "I have labored unceasingly all my life." "To be worthy of this moving demonstration of your feelings towards me." "Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of all the people who have assembled here" " I would merely like to mention if I may" " You may." "That our unanimous attitude" "Is one of lasting gratitude" "For what our friend Has done for us today" "And therefore I would simply like to say" "You may." "Thank you very much" "That's the nicest thing That anyone's ever done for me" "I may sound double Dutch" "But my delight is such" "I feel as if a losing war Has been won for me" "And if I had a flag I'd hang me flag out" "To add a sort of final victory touch" "But since I left me flag at home I'll simply have to say" "Thank you very, very, very, much" "Thank you very much Thank you very much" "That's the nicest thing That anyone's ever done for me" "It sounds a bit bizarre" "But things the way they are" "I feel as if another life's Begun for me" "And if I had a cannon I would fire it" "To add a sort of celebration touch" "But since I left me cannon at home I'll simply have to say" "Thank you very, very, very much" "For he's a jolly good fellow" "And so say all of us" "Thank you very much" "That's the nicest thing That anyone's ever done for me" "It isn't every day Good fortune comes me way" "I never thought The future would be fun for me" " And if I..." " Hey." "You've woken my baby." "Will you keep quiet?" "Beg your pardon, lady." "And if I had a bugle I would blow it" "To add A sort of how's your father touch" "But since I left my bugle at home I'll simply have to say" "Thank you very, very, very much" "No, no, dear friends." "It is I who should thank you." " Thank you very much" " Thank you very much" "Thank you very much" "That's the nicest thing That anyone's ever done for me" "The future looks all right" "In fact it looks so bright" "I feel as if they're polishing The sun for me" " And if I had a drum I'd have to..." " If I had a drum I'd have to bang it" "To add a sort of Humpty Dumpty touch" "But since I left me drummer at home I'll simply have to say..." "The color hurts my eyes." "I mustn't show weak eyes to your father when he gets home." " It must be near his time." " Past it." "But I think he's walked a little slower these last few evenings." "I've known him walk with Tiny Tim on his shoulder very fast indeed." "But he was light to carry for it was no trouble, no trouble." "Where is Tiny Tim?" "Take me to him." "On this beautiful winter's morning" "If my wish could come true somehow" "Then the beautiful day That I dream about" "Would be here" "And now" "I must go now, my little fellow." "I promised your mother I'd help her with the Christmas dinner." "I'll come and see you again tomorrow." "Same time." "All right?" "Oh, Tim." "Poor Tiny Tim." "Spirit, you've shown me a Christmas yet to come that mingles great happiness with great sadness." "But what is to become of me?" "No, no." "Please, I beg you." "I've seen the error of my ways." "I will repent." "Truly, I will repent!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help, help!" "So there you are." "Marley." "Where am I?" "I should have thought it was obvious." "I heard you were coming down today, so I thought I'd come to greet you." "Show you to your quarters." "Nobody else wanted to." "That's very civil of you, Marley." " I am dead, aren't I?" " As a coffin nail." " I'd rather hoped I'd end up in heaven." " Did you indeed?" "You may find your office here rather small, but not, I trust, unfamiliar." "Office?" "Your activities in life were so pleasing to Lucifer, that he has appointed you to be his personal clerk." "A singular honor." "You will be to him, so to speak, what Bob Cratchit was to you." "That's not fair." "Aah!" "It's..." " It's..." " Diabolical." "I must confess I find it not altogether unamusing." "Here we are, my dear Ebenezer." "Your office." "It's freezing cold in here." "Lucifer turned the heat off." "He thought it might make you drowsy." "You'll be the only man in hell who's chilly." "Watch out for the rats." "They nibble things." "Rats?" "I almost forgot." "I knew there was something." "They apologize that your" "Chain wasn't ready for your arrival." "It's so big, they had to take on extra devils at the foundry to finish it." "It's even bigger than I thought it would be." "Here it is now." "Don't let them do this to me, Marley." "I beg you." "That's quite a chain, isn't it?" "Help me." "Help me." "Bah, humbug." "Merry Christmas." "Don't leave me, Marley." "Help!" "Help, help!" "Help, help, help!" "Help!" "Where am I?" "I'm in my own room." "I'm not in hell at all." "I haven't got any chains." "Perhaps it didn't happen after all." "Perhaps it did." "But I'm alive." "I'm alive." "I've got a chance to change and I will not be the man I was." "I'll begin again." "I will build my life." "I will live to know that I've fulfilled my life." "I'll begin today." "Throw away the past, and the future I build will be something that will last." "I will take the time I have left to live and I will give it all that I have left to give." "I will live my days for my fellow men" "And I'll live in praise Of that moment when" "I was able to begin again" "I will start anew" "I will make amends" "And I'll make quite certain That the story ends" "On a note of hope On a strong amen" "And I'll thank the world And remember when" "I was able to" "Begin again" "I don't know what to do." "Yes, begin again." "I'm as light as a feather." "I'm as happy as an angel." "I'm as giddy as a drunken man." "A Merry Christmas, everybody." "Oh, Jacob Marley, wherever you are, you shall see a change in me, Jacob." "I swear it." "Boy." "Boy, boy, what day is it?" " Today?" " Today." "Why, Christmas day, of course." "It's Christmas day." "I haven't missed it." "The spirits have done it all in one night." "Well, they can do what they like, you see." "Of course they can." "Of course they can." "Ha, ha." " Hello, my fine young fellow." " Hello." "Do you know the butcher's in the next street but one?" "I should hope so." "What a remarkable boy." "An intelligent boy." "Do you happen to know if they've sold the prize turkey that was hanging up in the window?" "Not the big one, the enormous one." "What, you mean the one as big as me?" "Ha, ha." "What a wonderful boy." "So witty." "It's a pleasure to talk to him." " Yes, that's the one." " It's still there." "It is?" "Go and buy it." " What's that?" " Here's two sovereigns." "Go and wake up the butcher and tell him to open his shop." "Meet me there in ten minutes." "Be holding that turkey and I'll give you a half a crown." "Go on, run." "Run, run." "Run, run." "Oh, what a lovely boy." "I think I'm gonna like children." "Now, that's what I call a turkey." "It's twice the size of Tiny Tim." "Come on, dear boy." "Let's go and open the toy shop." "Thank you." "Merry Christmas." "And I'll have that and some of those." "And the hobby horse, and then some flutes and..." "And some trumpets." "And that doll." " And some bows and arrows." " Bow and arrows." "Yes and..." "Oh, yes, and I..." "I must have a cricket bat." "And these, and these." "And a horse and a spinning top." "And a piano." "And..." "And all those dolls." " All of them?" " Yes." "I like that one." "Oh, and this beautiful coach." " And several kites and the horse." " Yes, yes." " And these boats." " Yes." "And some of these." "Oh!" "I'll have that." "Now, how much is all this?" " Oh." "Uh..." "Oh." " Well, never mind." "Here are some sovereigns and you can keep the change." "Oh, thank you, Mr. Scrooge." "And I shall require the services of several small boys to help to transport these delightful objects to their destination." "And each boy shall receive a half a crown." "Half a crown, yes, Mr. Scrooge." "Mr. Scrooge, what has happened?" "What happened is perfectly simple, Pringle." "I've discovered that I like life." "I like life" "Life likes me" "Life and I fairly fully agree" "Life is fine" "Life is good" "Especially mine Which is just as it should be" "I like pouring the wine and why not?" "Life's a pleasure that I deny not" "I like life, here and now" "Life and I made a mutual vow" "Till I die, life and I We'll both try to be better somehow" "And if life were a woman She would be my wife" "Why?" "Because I like life" "Oh, look, a slide." "No, let me." "Let me, let me." "I like life" "Life likes me" "I'll make life a perpetual spree" "Eating food, drinking wine" "Thinking who'll have the privilege To dine me" "I like living the life of pleasure" "Pausing only to take my leisure" "I like songs, I like dance" "I hear music and I'm in a trance" "Chances are I shall get up and prance" "Where's there's music and laughter Happiness is rife" " Why?" " Why?" "Because I like life" "Uncle Ebenezer." "Oh, Merry Christmas to you, my dear nephew." "And to your enchanting wife." "We were just on our way to your house with some presents." "These are for you." "From an old fool who deeply regrets the Christmases gone by that he might have shared with you, and..." "This is for you, my dear." "A sort of belated wedding present." "Oh, Uncle Ebenezer, thank you." "Christmas lunch is sharp at 3." "May we expect you?" "You may." "I'll be there." "Oh, you are a pretty girl." "I like songs, I like dance" "I hear music and I'm in a trance" "Tra-la-la, oom-pa-pa" "Chances are I shall get up and prance" "Where there's music and laughter Happiness is rife" "Why?" "Because I like life" "Father Christmas" "He's the greatest man In the whole wide world" "In the whole wide world And he knows it" "Every Christmas, Father Christmas" "Puts a great big sack On his dear old back" "Because he loves us all And he knows it" "And he goes for a sleigh ride" "If it snows, then he may ride all night" "But that's all right" " In the morning" " In the morning" " Christmas morning" " Christmas morning" "If you lift your eyes There's a big surprise" "On your bed you'll see There's a gift from Father Christmas" "From Father Christmas" "That's how Christmas ought to be" "Merry Christmas." "A Merry Christmas to you, sir, from Father Christmas himself." "Oh, dear." "Don't worry about your goose, Mrs. Cratchit." "You can use it as stuffing for this." "Now, where are the other presents?" "This dolly is for you, my dear." "And this one is for you." "And this pretty little dolly is for you." "It's the dolly in the corner." " And those are for you, my boy." " Thank you." "And these, Bob Cratchit, are for you and your good lady." "I must leave you now." "As you can imagine, it's a very busy day for me." "And I have many more calls to make." "I almost forgot." "This is for you." "You didn't steal it, did you?" "Ha, ha." "No, I didn't steal it." "It's a present for you to keep." "A Merry Christmas, Tiny Tim." "You still don't recognize me, do you, Bob Cratchit?" "Yes." "Uh, no." " You're Father Christmas?" " No." "It's Mr. Scrooge." "He's gone mad." "It's all right, my dear." "There's nothing to be frightened of." "No, I haven't gone mad." "And on Monday when your salary will be doubled..." "Doubled?" "He has gone mad." " We'll sit together and discuss how I can help your family." "To start with, we'll find the right doctors to get Tiny Tim well." "And we will get him well, you know, Bob." "Yes, I believe you." "I'll believe anything." "And may this be the merriest Christmas of all our lives." "Tom Jenkins, Tom Jenkins." "About that 6 pounds you owe me." "You agreed to give me a few more days, I just need..." "You can keep it." "It's my Christmas present to you." "God bless you this Christmas day, Mr. Scrooge." "Thank you very much." "Thank you very much" "That's the nicest thing That anyone's ever done for me" "It sounds a bit bizarre" "But things the way they are I feel as if another life's begun for me" "And that goes for anyone else who owes me money, you can keep it." "As of this day, all my debts are ended." "And if I had a drum I'd have to bang it" "To add a sort of Humpty Dumpty touch" "But since I left my drummer at home I'll simply have to say" "Thank you very, very, very much" "Thank you very much" "Thank you very much" "That's the nicest thing That anyone's ever done for me" "It isn't every day" "Good fortune comes my way" "I never thought The future would be fun for me" "And if I had a bugle I would blow it" "To add a sort of How's your father touch" "But since I left my bugle at home I'll simply have to say" "Gentlemen, Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas, Mr. Scrooge." "Come to my office on Monday morning and I will give you a hundred guineas for your most worthy cause." "And the same every Christmas." "Thank you very, very much, Mr. Scrooge." "Thank you very, very, very much" "Thank you very much" "That's the nicest thing That anyone's ever done for me" "The future looks all right" "In fact it looks so bright" "I feel as if they're polishing The sun for me" " Sing a Christmas carol" " Sing a Christmas carol" "Sing a Christmas carol Like the children do" "And if I had a cannon I would fire it" "To add a sort of celebration touch" "And enjoy the beauty" "All the joy and beauty That a Merry Christmas..." "And since I left my cannon at home" " I'll simply have to say" " Christmas is here" "Thank you very, very, very much" "Thank you very much" "That's the nicest thing That anyone's ever done for me" "I may sound double Dutch But my delight is such" "I feel as if a losing war" " Has been won for me" " Come along, boys." "And if I had a flag I'd hang me flag out" "To add a sort of final victory touch" "But since I left me flag at home" "I'll simply have to say" "Thank you very much Thank you very much" "Thank you very much" "Thank you very, very, very much" "Merry Christmas." "Hello." "I don't know whether you can hear me, old Jacob Marley." "And I don't know whether or not I imagined the things I saw." "But between the pair of us we..." "We finally made a Merry Christmas, didn't we?" "I have to leave you now." "Must go and get ready." "I'm going to have Christmas dinner with my family."