"I'm going down to South Park Gonna have myself a time" "Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation" "Going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind" "Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"" "I'm heading on up to South Park Gonna see if I can't unwind" "Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy Timmy, Timmy" "Living a lie, Timmy!" "Come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine" "And in other news, another school shooting has taken place, this time in Idaho." "As these kinds of shootings increase, one thing becomes clear." "Your children are not safe at school!" "Oh, God!" "Change it!" "Change it!" "This was the second time a terrorist threat has been made on a theme park, leaving everyone to realise that children are not safe outside!" "Oh, God!" "Change it!" "And it seems there is a new danger to look out for." "Children who are taken by strangers!" "The bottom line, children are not safe in their own homes!" "Tweek!" "Come to the kitchen, sweetie, we need to see you real quick." "Oh, God, they're gonna get me." "Sit down and have some coffee, Son." "Tweek, there are starting to be a lot of reports on the news about children being abducted, and we thought we should talk." "I saw!" "You know never to talk to strangers, right, Tweek?" "You can't trust anybody." "Oh, God!" "Now, we don't want to alarm you, Son, but we've installed new locks on your bedroom windows and door." "It's important for you to know never to unlock them at night for anyone, except your mother and I." "Oh, Jesus!" "It's just a precaution, sweetie." "Probably nothing will ever happen." "No!" "No!" "They're gonna get me." "Oh, God." "Just a dream." "Oh, my God!" "Tweek!" "This is Officer Daniels!" "Now, try and stay calm, but we believe an abductor is in your room!" "Inside my room?" "Oh, God!" "Give it up, buddy!" "We've got you surrounded!" "Okay, Tweek, I want you to very calmly, but quickly, walk to the door and come out to us!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, Jesus, see me through this." "Bang." "You're dead, Tweek." " What?" " You failed the test, Son." "Didn't I tell you not to open the door for anybody, except your mother and I?" "Oh, God!" "Oh, Jesus!" "What if that had been a child abductor pretending to be a police officer, Tweek?" "He would have sprayed your brains all over the floor and then taken your body off to the woods!" "You've got to be on your toes, Tweek." "All right, now go to bed and get some rest." "Night, pumpkin!" "I hope this movie doesn't suck ass." "It will." "One, please." "Wait!" "That's not the usual ticket taker guy!" " So?" " So, I don't know him!" " Dude, relax." " You relax!" "What if he wants to kill me?" "God, what the hell did his parents do to him?" "Excuse me, is this the right road to Breckenridge?" "Please, I just need to know if this is South Park?" "Get away from me!" "Could you help me across the street?" "I don't know you!" "Oh, hey, kid!" "Oh, thank God you happened by!" "My chair ran out of juice right on these train tracks!" "If you hadn't have shown up, well..." "Anyway, could you give me a push?" "No, no, you don't understand." "I'm paralysed from the neck down!" "I push the chair with this device in front of my mouth, but it's not working, so you see..." "I'm not supposed to talk to you!" "Please!" "This isn't funny, kid!" "You have to help me!" "But it could be a trick!" "That's a pretty good trick." "Relax, Tweek." "I am not here to hurt you." "I am the Ghost of Human Kindness." "The Ghost of Human Kindness?" "You have never seen the likes of me before!" " What do you want?" " You have lost faith in humanity, lad." "Something I cannot bear to see happen." "How can I help it?" "It seems like everywhere I turn, someone is out to get me!" "That is the world that the news reports." "It is the world that adults preoccupy themselves with." "But it is not the world as it is." "It isn't?" "Look here, Tweek." "This woman is on her way to the retirement home." "She doesn't get paid." "She volunteers her time to talk with lonely elderly people who want nothing more than a friend." "But do you hear about her on the news?" "No." "Now gaze upon this humble house, Tweek." "Inside, there are two people who have adopted needy children." "They were strangers to those kids once." "Now they are loving parents." "Now, look here, boy." "A car has broken down with a flat tyre, and two complete strangers have stopped to help." "Will their kindness be reported on the news tomorrow?" "I think not." "Are you starting to understand, boy?" "I think so." "You mean that even though all the news is about murderers and abductors, those kind of people only make up a very small part of the world." "That's right, lad." "So, do you think you can learn to trust people now?" " I'll try." " Good." "Then why don't you get into the back of my van, and I'll drive you home?" "Your van?" "All right, Johnson, give it up!" "Damn!" "Damn!" "Damn!" "Damn!" " Oh, I was so close." " What the hell is going on?" "Tweek!" "Tweek, are you okay?" " Did he hurt you, Son?" " No!" "Then we aren't too late." "His name is Frederick Johnson." "He's been abducting children by dressing up like the Ghost of Human Kindness for over a year now." "And I would have gotten away with it again, if it weren't for you meddling policemen!" "What's going on?" "A stranger was caught trying to abduct the Tweek boy!" " An abductor in our town?" " Oh, my God, what are we going to do?" "Rabble, rabble, rabble!" "People, people, calm down." "Well, what are we going to do, Mayor?" "We have to stop these abductors from being able to get into our town!" "Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!" "Yes, but standing out here yelling," ""Rabble, rabble, rabble," isn't going to help anything!" "But we don't know what else to do, Mayor!" "Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble." "People, what do you think we need to do?" "Well, we need to find a way to close our town off from unwanted strangers!" "Yes, we need a barrier to protect our kids!" "Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble..." "Wait!" "That's it." "A wall." "We could build a huge city wall all around South Park, so that we have complete control over who comes in." "That's not a bad idea." "A city wall." "But who can we get to build it?" "And so, we want you to design and build a great wall, all around the city." "I don't build walls!" "I just own and operate City Wok!" "We just think that you're the best person to put up a wall." "We're sure you've got it in your blood." "Oh!" "I get it!" "Just because I Chinese, you think I build a wall!" "That is bull..." "I'm not a stereotype, okay?" "Just because I Chinese doesn't mean I go around building walls!" "I'm just a normal person like all of you." "I eat rice, and I drive really slow, just like the rest of you." "I'm not a stereotype!" "Please, Mr. Twang Lu Kim." "Your ancestors put up a great wall that kept" "Mongolians out for thousands of years." "We know you can do it for us." "Hey." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "What the hell you doing?" "Mongolians!" "What the hell Mongolian doing here?" "Hey... you, Mongolian." "Don't you break down my wall!" "Get out of here..." "Mongolian!" "God damn it, how come every time us Chinese put up a wall, stupid Mongolians have to come and knock it down?" "Stan, our abduction problems are over!" " We got the new Child Tracker!" " Child Tracker?" "It's a little electrical device that can tell us where you are anywhere on Earth." "If anybody takes you, we'll be able to locate your exact location within two metres." "There." "I think that's got it." "Dude." "No way." "I'm not wearing Child Tracker." "You can barely even tell you have one on." "I'm not going to school like this!" "What will all the other guys say?" "I wouldn't worry about that." "So weak..." "So weak, dude." "Man." "Why did you have to go and be abducted, Tweek?" " Now all our parents are freaking out." " I didn't mean to!" "Well, okay." "Finally." "Oh, no." "It's those goddamn Mongolians again!" "Stop!" "Stop right there, Mongolians!" "God damn it, stop!" "Stop breaking down my city wall, you stupid Mongolians!" "All right, you sons of bitches..." "What the hell?" "Oh..." "Oh, goddamn Mongolians!" "I gonna get you..." "Mongolians!" "Stop breaking my city wall!" "Oh, God damn it!" "That's the last time you gonna break down my city wall!" "You hear me, Mongolian?" "Goddamn Mongolians." "All right, Cows!" "We're gonna go out there and we're gonna give them hell." "But, wait." "Where's the other team?" " There is no other team." " Huh?" "Well, we put a wall around the city to keep outsiders out." "You don't think we want a bunch of strangers coming in and play ball, do you?" "But there's no other team." "That won't be any fun." "Don't worry, it will still be fun for us." "Go, Cows!" "Go, Cows!" "Go, Cows!" "Go, Cows!" "Play ball!" "Strike!" "Yeah!" "South Park Cows do it again!" "Congratulations on your victory, boys!" "Dude, we weren't playing anybody!" "Yeah, and you kicked ass!" "Isn't it awesome having a great wall around our city?" "Nobody in town except for our good friends." " Yeah!" " All right!" "Hey!" "Quiet, everybody!" "And this newest study reveals more about child abductions than we apparently knew before, Tom." "Turn it up." "That's right, Chris." "This newest study shows that the majority of child abductions are not committed by strangers, but by somebody the child knows in their own town!" "The report further states that it is because the child trusts the individual that problems occur in the first place." "Well, I guess this means the enemy is in our own backyard, so to speak." " Sure does, Tom." " All right, thanks, Chris." "Is the weather going to turn sour?" "Well, if you'll all excuse us, I think we'll be going now." "Yeah, come along, Kyle." "Stanley, time for us to get back to the house." " I'm not done with my pizza." " Now, Stanley!" "There we go, all finished." "My Mongolian missile defence system!" "Those Mongolians try to break down my city wall again, they're gonna get a big heat-seeking missile surprise!" "Oh, hello, Mongolian." "Yeah." "You come to break down my city wall?" "Oh, you gonna throw that baseball at my wall?" "Oh, no." "Not a baseball." "I'm pretty scared." "But you know what?" "I might have something here that's a little bigger than a baseball." "Say hello to my little friend!" "Oh, crap." "Goddamn Mongolians!" "You break down my city wall for the last time!" "Dude, this is worse than Child Tracker." "It's okay, boys." "Just act as if we weren't here." "Right." "Do what you normally would do." "You're such a fat-ass, Cartman." " At least I'm not a stupid Jew." " What, what, what?" "M'kay kids, so now, who can tell me what year the first moon landing took place?" "How about you, Clyde?" "No helping!" "M'kay, I'm not really sure having all the parents here is a good idea, m'kay?" "Well, maybe things would be better if we could trust people like the Stotches!" "Us?" "Your family has always been the shifty-eyed ones!" "Oh, yeah?" " Hey!" " Don't touch my son!" "Oh, this is too much to take." "Mom, Dad, could you please leave me alone?" "We just want to make sure nobody hurts you, junior, m'kay?" "M'kay." "My master plan!" "When those Mongolians come next time," "I pour this sweet-and-sour pork on their heads." "Sweet-and-sour pork so hot and sticky," "Mongolians will stick right to the wall and scream..." "I can't wait." "Oh, I get it." "A Trojan Mongolian horse!" "Mongolians are hiding inside, thinking that I'll bring it in the city wall." "Then Mongolians pop out and destroy wall from inside out without getting the sweet-and-sour pork on their heads!" "Okay, I'll play along." "Oh, look!" "Look, my very own Mongolian Trojan horse." "Gee, what a surprise." "I guess Mongolians aren't such crappy, smelly people after all." "Yeah." "Great!" "Wow!" "Yeah, what a great present!" "I just gonna push it inside the gate and show it to all my friends." "Oh, it's sweet-and-sour pork!" "I'm gonna get you, Mongolians, if it's the last thing I do!" "And, so, all the residents of Manhattan are prepared to evacuate if Ms. Clinton's ass gets any bigger." "And in other news, new findings on the increase in child abductions." "Oh, Jesus, turn it up, honey." "The study shows that the most likely abductors of children are the parents themselves!" "The study reveals that nine out of every 10 abduction cases are committed by the child's mother or father." "The bottom line being that your children aren't safe, even from you." "Where are you going?" "I'm just going to go upstairs and see if Tweek is still in his bed." "Oh?" "I think I'll go with you." " It's okay." "I can do it." " I just want to make sure that you..." "That I don't abduct him?" "How do I know that you haven't done it already?" "Me?" "I would never abduct our son!" "That's not what the new study says!" "But what are we supposed to do?" "How can we protect Tweek from ourselves?" "Here you go, Stanley." "This should hold you over for three years." "But why do I have to leave?" "The news says that at your age you aren't safe with us, Son." "You have to get out of here before we abduct you." "Goodbye, Son." "Remember to eat right." "Look out for your brother, Kyle." "You're the man, now." "Oh, boys!" "Don't ever forget that we love you!" "Be careful out there!" "Where are we supposed to go?" "We can't tell you, because we can't know where you are!" "Oh, this is terrible!" "Go on, kids!" "Go!" "Go and don't look back!" "Goodbye, kids." "We'll never forget you." "Dude, sometimes I think our parents are really stupid." "Oh, hey, dog." "Over here." "Over here, dog." "Got some sweet pork for you." "Good dog!" "That's it!" "Keep licking, dog!" "I'm free, Mongolians!" "And now I'm going to make you pay." "Finally some good news tonight." "It's been several days since any child abductions have taken place." "The main reason, parents don't know where their children are." "What's the matter?" "Oh, it's just..." "I was wondering if Stan's okay." "Oh, I'm sure he's made it somewhere safe by now." "Do you really think we did the right thing, Randy?" "Sending all the young kids in town off to live on their own?" " Sweetheart, you saw the news." " I know." "Don't you worry." "I'm sure that Stan and all the other kids are somewhere safe, off in a whole new city by now, making a new life for themselves." "All right, Mongolians!" "Your only way through this wall is through me." "This is my last stand!" "I'm gonna do my war dance now!" "Does my war dance scare you, Mongolians?" "Yeah, you think you want a piece of this?" "This is the ancient Chinese dance of a..." "Oh, hello, kids." "Be careful, those are Mongolians up there." "Oh, crap." " What's going on?" " I heard an explosion!" "Goddamn Mongolians attack city wall again!" "Mongolians?" "What the hell are they doing here?" " Rabble, rabble, rabble!" " Rabble, rabble, rabble!" "Wait a minute." "Those Mongolians are our children." "Ike?" "Kyle?" "My son has become a Mongolian?" "No!" "No!" "Oh, God." "What have we done?" "We sent our children away, and now they don't even remember who they are." "Kids, don't you remember us?" "Wait, wait." "I learned some Mongolian in college." "Let's see." "Kids..." "Oh, my God, our parents are so stupid, dude." "We are your parents." "You used to live here with us." "Yeah, it was like four days ago!" "They're starting to remember!" "Stan." "Your name is Stan." "Stan Marsh." "That's it!" "Remember, Son!" "Remember!" "We're sorry, Tweek!" "Are you okay, Clyde?" "Oh, Son!" "Can you ever forgive us?" " I'm over here, Dad." " Oh." "We're sorry, kids." "We just let all those sensationalist news reports go to our heads!" "Oh, my God, do you see what this means?" "The Ghost of Human Kindness was right all along!" "You mean, how he said we should trust each other, or how he abducted children?" "The..." "No, no, the part about being more trusting." "We should follow what he said, not what he did." " Yeah." " Oh, yeah." "No." "No." "You know who was right all along?" "The Mongolians." "They knew that you can't just wall yourself off from the outside world." "Putting walls up never helps anything." "Tearing them down brings us together." " Oh, right." " Yeah, the Mongolians were right." "Yeah." "Oh, you better not say what I think you gonna say." "Mr. Lu Kim, tear down this wall." "Oh, God." "I hate this whole city!" "Randy, can we just take our son home, now?" "Yes!" "Kids, with us, now, come." "Home." "Home." "Jesus Christ, dude, they've done some stupid crap before, but Jesus Christ." "I gonna get you..." "Mongolians!"