"PROVENZA:" "Yes." "Uh, yeah." "Uh, uh, uh-huh." "Mm-hm." "Good." "Heh." "Yeah." "Yeah." "[WHISPERING] Flynn." " Flynn..." " What?" "What?" "How'd you like to make a quick 2000 bucks, cash?" "No, thanks." "Anything that begins with you whispering... always ends with other people shouting." "Flynn." "Flynn." "I'm telling you, this is free money." "There's this lawyer, he has some papers to serve... and he just needs a couple of great detectives to find some guy." "[SIGHS]" "FLYNN:" "And what do we have to work with?" " Ah, well, a cell-phone number." "But we've found people with less." "I don't know how to track someone's cell phone." "Do you?" "[DOOR OPENS]" " Oh, sorry to interrupt." "Night, lieutenants," " Wait, Buzz." "Wait, wait, wait." "You know... we were just talking about you." "How would you like to make a little extra dough?" "[BEEPING]" "Turn right here." "I'd really appreciate If you'd stay In one lane." "Speed up a little." "There's a guy right behind us." "Would you relax?" "For using your car and tracking a cell phone... we're giving you a third of our take, 200 bucks." "Is what we're doing even legal?" "Look, we're law enforcement and we're doing it... so that makes it legal, ha, ha." " And the chief okayed this?" " We'll get her signature tomorrow." "Or maybe we don't even tell her She's got enough on her mind." "These papers that we got from the attorney... .they say this guy's name Is Steven Hirschbaum." "Sounds familiar, huh?" "VALET:" "Evening, sir." "Oh, there you go." "Uh, just leave it right here, would you?" " You got it." " So, what are you, Bill Gates now?" "What's $20 when you're making, uh, 200?" "Seven fifteen." "Seven-one-five..." "Ah, here we go." "FLYNNI Ready?" "[KNOCKS ON DOOR]" "MAN:" "Who is it?" " Room service." "MAN:" "I didn't order any room service." "Uh, complimentary champagne, sir." "MAN:" "Oh, well, that's different." "Uh." "Hey, what is this?" "Steven Hirschbaum, you've been served." "STEVEN:" "What" " Think we can get that one more time?" " Yeah." "Nice big smile." "Uh." "Oh, no, guys, uh, you think I'm somebody else." "I'm not the guy you're looking for." " Tell it to the judge, huh?" " One for your scrapbook." "Oh, no, flop no, guys." "Guys, you're making a huge mistake." "Really, I got a bad feeling about this." "Don't go." "I'm scared." "FLYNN:" "We're out of here." "[PROVENZA AND FLYNN CHUCKLE]" "PROVENZA:" "See how easy that was, huh?" " Was I right or was I right?" " Okay, you were right." "Now, let's go back to the lawyer, get our cash, and just call It a night." "Darn it." "My taillight, it's broken." "I didn't do that." "You could've." "You were driving like a crazy person." "My insurance isn't gonna cover this because my deductible's $1000." "You know what?" "I'm documenting this" "[GUNSHOTS]" "[WOMAN SCREAMS]" "[THUDS]" "[PEOPLE SCREAMING]" "What the...?" "It's him." "Hirschbaum committed suicide." "Suicide?" "Are you kidding?" "He's got gunshot wounds In his back." " Oh, my God." "My car." " Oh, relax, Buzz." "I know an amazing guy in Koreatown." "He'll buff this right out." "Flynn." "Flynn, flop flop no." "You can't call this in." "Nobody knows we're here." " There's a dead man on my car." " Well, we didn't put him there..." "Oh, all right, all right." "Call Gabriel and the guys." "But there's no need to bother the chief." "This Is totally containable." "[POLICE SIREN WAILING]" "FLYNN:" "What do you want us to do, Gabriel?" "We're off duty and don't have our guns." "GABRIEL:" "He fell from up there down to here?" "Yeah, back dive and a half twist." "And would you believe the Russian judge only gave him an 8.5?" "PROVENZA:" "Gabriel, Gabriel." "Look, I know what you're thinking." "Uh, what is a murder victim doing on Buzz's car In the first place?" "Well, simple." "We were taking Buzz to dinner like we do every week." "Then, out of nowhere, there were shots." "Thank God the car was here." "Can you imagine If he'd landed on the pavement?" "Or on us." "I mean, we could all be dead." "No guns, but I got three casings, a subpoena, a cell phone... and an ID belonging I to a Steven Hirschbaum." "So you don't know the victim... and the first time you saw him Is when he landed on Buzz's car?" "SANCHEZ:" "Hey, guys, check this out." "Oh." "FLYNN:" "Oh." " I guess we did see him before." " Who's gonna call the chief?" "No one." "Nobody's gonna call the chief." "She does not need to know about this." "FRITZ:" "I'm not so sure about that." "FLYNN:" "Oh." "Can someone please explain how Steven Hirschbaum... a guy convicted in a massive federal fraud trial... ends up dead on Buzz's car five days before his sentencing?" "Agent Howard." "Fritz." "Fritzy." "Now, tell me." "What can we do to keep this just between ourselves?" "FRITZ:" "Your victim burned through corporate cash... like it was Monopoly money." "Then moved company pension funds to offshore accounts we haven't found" "Steven Hirschbaum." "Uh, we thought that name was familiar." "Chief..." "No." "I do not wanna talk to you now, lieutenant." "In addition to, uh, criminal penalties isn't there some civil suit against him?" "Former employees and investors are trying to recover whatever's there." "The whole thing was a mess." "Probably just got a lot worse." "Detective, will you please see if any of the plaintiffs suing Mr. Hirschbaum... had threatened him or had a history of violent offenses?" "Me?" "Chief, there's gotta be 700-plus people in this lawsuit." "Then I'd get started." "It also says here that Mr. Hirschbaum had a wife and daughter." "FRITZ:" "Mm-hm." "Please make sure they're notified, lieutenant." " Yes, chief." "BRENDA:" "Thank you." "Now... how is it that you two just happened to be directly underneath the victim... when he plummeted to his death?" "First, chief, I was wondering If I could get your signature right here." " Authorization for outside employment." " Uh, yes, yes." "You see, last night I got a phone call from a lawyer, Owen Doyle." "He's one of the attorneys suing your victim." "FLYNN:" "Doyle just had a cell number on Hirschbaum... and he needed somebody to serve him this subpoena." "And how did you find him with only a cell-phone number?" "Uh, we triangulated his location..." " ...by using, uh, the Catfish." " Ahem." "You don't know how to use that." "Buzz does." "With Raydor conducting a transparency audit on this entire division... you thought it was a brilliant idea... use one of our civilian techs to track a citizen without a warrant?" "Well, I wouldn't say "brilliant."" " You posed with him?" " Well, we had to have proof of service." "Oh, the video is a whole lot better." "You made a video?" "Well, Buzz was already there." "All right." "That's it." "I've heard enough." "Detective, please find this lawyer, Doyle, and have him brought In Immediately." "FRITZ:" "One other thing." "As far as we know... only the FBI knew that Hirschbaum was at the hotel." "Either the killer also triangulated his unlisted cell phone... highly unlikely, or..." "Are you suggesting that we led the killer to the hotel?" "That's insane." "Chief, you'll wanna take a look." "As I suspected, death was caused by a .45-caliber bullet... .which pierced his pericardium, Instantly stopping his heart." "But the real surprise..." "Well, the fact that his name was given to me as Hirschbaum... proved to be something of a tip-off." " Or not." " He doesn't look that Jewish to me." "So I did a Live Scan of his fingerprints... .and his actual identity came back as Scott Esposito, age 51... .convicted of several petty crimes." "Take a look." " So this is not Hirschbaum?" " It's an Impostor." " Do you know what this means?" " Yeah." "We served the wrong guy." "And we don't get paid." "FRITZ:" "Surveillance has been going on..." "Chief, the lawyer who hired Flynn and Provenza Is In 1." "BREN DA:" "Uh, thank you, detective." "Go on." "We know it was Hirschbaum who checked Into the hotel Tuesday... and photos confirm he was on the balcony at 6 p.m. last night." "Now, we believe he switched with your victim shortly after that." " And your men didn't suspect a thing?" " I think It's fair to say... .that any two gray-haired, middle-aged men In blue velour tracksuits... would be difficult to distinguish at 1000 yards." " Tell us what else you know." " Okay." "Scott Esposito was a sometime-actor... who supplemented his income by engaging In low-level con jobs." "May I?" "Ho, ho." "When you served him, did he say anything revealing?" "Well, uh, he may have said, "lt's not me." "I'm not the guy you're looking for."" "He also said:" ""You're making a huge mistake." "Wait, don't go." "I'm scared."" "How were we supposed to know what that meant?" "Okay, okay, hold on, hold on." "Let me see if I've got this right." "If the killer's target was Mr. Hirschbaum and not the decoy... then there are hundreds of suspects." "If the decoy was the target... then our primary suspect would seem to be Mr. Hirschbaum himself." "GABRIEL:" "That makes sense to me." "Hirschbaum's a guy with a ton of cash looking at life in prison." "So he kills his double and then he goes off to live in some tropical paradise." "Just like Ken Lay." " Hmm." "That's funny." " Oh, come on." "Am I the only one here that thinks that Ken Lay's on a beach In Fiji right now." "I mean, the guy's supposed body was cremated a minute after they found it." " Come on." " Get a life." "I could get another life and kill that guy." "Conspiracy theories aside, chief, .what do we say to the press?" "That Steven Hirschbaum is dead." "If he thinks that's what we believe, he'll be easier to find." "And if the killer Is not Mr. Hirschbaum... we don't want that person back on the hunt." "Chief?" "Lawyer in 1?" "I just wanna emphasize, Steven Hirschbaum is a federal fugitive." " Finding him is the FBI's job." " But he's our suspect." "And once the FBI has him in custody, you can debrief him." "Okay." "Uh, Lieutenant Tao, Detective Sanchez... while Detective Gabriel is following up with the aggrieved employees... please find anyone who'd want Mr. Esposito dead." " What about me and Proven...?" " I'll deal with you later." "[DOOR OPENS]" "Mr. Doyle, I'm Deputy Chief Johnson... .and this is Special Agent Fritz Howard of the FBI." "What am I supposed to do, huh?" "I mean, I'm finally starting to get somewhere, and now this?" "Well, I'm sorry about the inconvenience... .that Mr. Hirschbaum's murder has obviously caused you." "Can you tell us where you were last night between 8 and 9 p.m.?" "The same place I am every night:" "At my desk, trying to fend off the endless motions... that cretin's lawyers are filing against me." "Who do you think might have wanted to kill Steven Hirschbaum?" "You have a phonebook?" "How did you come to possess Mr. Hirschbaum's private cell number?" "His daughter's a plaintiff In the civil action." "She gave It to me." " Why would she do that?" " I don't know." "Maybe because she's a decent person... who wanted his employees and Investors to feed their families." "I thought I could reason with him, but the scuzzball wouldn't call me back." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" " Chief?" "I'm sorry." "BRENDA:" "Yes?" "But Hirschbaum's family is in Chief Pope's office." "Thank you, detective." " Mr. Doyle, excuse me." " Excuse me." "Brenda." "Brenda." "I didn't wanna contradict you in front of your team... but I can't go along with this decision to withhold the identity of the victim." "You prefer we alert the killer to his mistake?" "No, I prefer we not deceive the public." "The agency has a policy against knowingly making false statements" "The agency can just say, "No comment."" "And who's going to look like an idiot when the truth comes out?" "Chief." "Agent Howard." "I'm off to brief the press on the Hirschbaum murder." "Anything I should know?" " Just be yourself, commander." " Right." "I can live with that." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" " Wife and daughter?" " Yes." "To many people, Steven Hirschbaum may have just been a convicted felon... but also a father and husband to a ridiculously hot widow." "Wow." " How's that diet coming along?" " Okay." "Couple pounds." ""Widow" is a little premature." "There are things you don't know." "Yeah, like where he stowed $300 million?" "And that the last people to have seen him alive..." " ...may have been Flynn and Provenza." " What?" "We have it all on videotape, filmed by Buzz." " Why?" " They were moonlighting... for some lawyer, serving a subpoena to Hirschbaum In a civil suit." "Oh, my God." "And the person who fell off the balcony?" "Not Steven Hirschbaum." "Not Steven-?" "So who do we have in the morgue?" "Some actor." "Which we're not gonna tell the press while looking for the killer." "You think it's a good idea to have someone from the I.A.P.D. lie publicly?" "Oh, I can live with that." "Good morning, ladies." "I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson." "I am so sorry for your loss." " You must be...?" " Shannon Hirschbaum." "Steven's fourth and final wife." "And I'm Andrea, his only daughter that we know of." "I see." "So your mother is...?" " Dad's first wife." "Lives in Boca Raton." " I wish you'd call me "Mom."" "I'm not calling you "Mom." You sat behind me In 8th-grade French." "You don't have to be such a total bitch when I'm only trying to comfort you." "I can't believe Steve's dead." "Well, death isn't always the end, Shannon." "I know how difficult it is to answer questions at a time like this... .but can you tell me the last time you spoke to your husband?" "Tuesday afternoon." "You see, we had an argument, and he packed some things and left." " He say where he was going?" "SHANNON:" "No." "You see... we had an argument, and he packed some things and left." "You didn't know he was going to a hotel?" "No." "You see, we had an argument..." " ...and he packed some things and left." " Packed some things and left." "Andrea, I understand you gave your father's cell-phone number... to the attorney suing him." " What makes you say that?" " The attorney told me." "Okay." "I know that might make me look like I had something to do with what happened... but I was just trying to get people talking." "[WHIMPERS]" "If it's not too much trouble... .do you think one of you could get me a copy of my dad's death certificate?" "You want a copy of his death certificate?" "Right now?" "For the lawyers." "So they can start to put things in order." "I can't believe you gave your father's private cell to the lawyer suing him." "Your father never even gave me his private cell." "TAO:" "Great minds think alike, chief." "If our victim, Scott Esposito... had Hirschbaum's cell, where's Esposito's phone?" "So I found Esposito's cell-phone number..." "I and sure enough, that phone is still active and being used this morning." " And where is that phone right now?" " Currently moving through Mid-Wilshire." "About 10 minutes ago, It dialed a private limo service." "Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza, here, now." "Chief, now, I know you're a little upset, but..." "There are no buts, lieutenant." " I am suspending you both for 72 hours." " On what grounds?" "On the grounds that you procured outside employment... without prior authorization... used I.A.P.D. equipment to conduct a warrantless search... enlisted a civilian In your Illicit activities." " Need I go on?" " No, that's a pretty complete list." "And since Major Crimes has agreed to leave the pursuit of Mr. Hirschbaum... to the FBI, I would be appalled if you, as private citizens... tried to serve him again by tracking a number... that might point to his current whereabouts." "Tell Buzz he and his Catfish device are suspended as well." "Move along." " Suspended?" " No, heh, Buzz." "Where are you going, Buzz?" "To spend the next three days of unpaid leave... with anyone but the two of you." " Excuse me." " All right, fine." "But first we need you to track a cell phone for us." "Are you kidding me?" "That's how I got into all this trouble In the first place." "Uh-uh, no way." "Nope." "Listen, we got into that bit of trouble last time... because Hirschbaum had traded phones with Esposito." " Now, how could we have known that?" " Oh, I don't know." "By being detectives?" "Okay, here's what we know for sure." "Esposito's phone just called for a limo." "That means he's on his way to the airport." "And the FBI is looking for him too." "If we don't serve those papers, we're never gonna get the money" " You'll never get your car fixed." " As If $200 would've taken care of that." "Oh, no, no, no." "I spoke with the lawyer." "And he's gonna cover all your expenses... plus make up for your three days of lost pay." "And an extra $200." "And an extra $200." "If you'll just give us a ride to wherever your Catfish takes us." "All right, look, Buzz." "Have we made mistakes in the past 24 hours?" "Yes." "Did we underestimate the potential for fallout?" "Absolutely." "Did we take advantage of your kind nature?" "Probably." " Would you be wiser not to trust us...?" " Flynn!" "Now, listen to me, young man." "This time, this phone number comes from the chief." "The chief." "BU:" "All right, Esposito's phone is going to be In that bungalow." "And don't bump into the limo." "I still can't believe you got me suspended." "I want my car fixed by someone reputable." "Fine, whatever." "Now, Flynn, look." "Look, the way I figure it, If Buzz's deductable Is a grand... .we're still almost 3000 in the black." "What?" "And I want a third of $4000 before repairs and expenses." "Fine, fine." "Hey." "Get lost." "[ENGINE STARTS]" "Yeah, yeah, I'm off duty and I flashed my badge." "I flashed it." "Sue me." "I would, but I don't want another body landing on my car." "Yeah, your body." " Hello?" "You called for a limo?" "MAN:" "Yeah, just a minute." " Where's the subpoena?" " I thought you had it." " Oh, God, it's still in Evidence." " But we just..." " Aah!" "PROVENZA:" "Take this." "[MAN AND WOMAN SCREAMING]" "Police!" "Assassins!" "[SCREAMS]" " Help!" "Help!" " Come here!" "You son of a..." "[BOTH GRUNTING]" "FLYNN:" "Calm down!" "NAN:" "Okay." "All right." "How did you find me?" "We traced Esposito's cell phone." " Cell phone?" "This cell phone?" " Her." " What the hell was that for?" " Oh, my God." "Will you look at this?" "It's ruined." "This is a $500 jacket." "Yeah, well, uh, take a look at who just showed up." "Oh, you know what?" "I say we turn him over to the feds..." " ...and be done with this douche bag." " Hey, hey, you don't even know me." "We give him to the feds, we're out 4 grand... we still have to fix Buzz's car, and we gotta buy you a new jacket." "How are we gonna get him past the agents where we can serve him?" " We are screwed." " Someone called for a limo?" "FLYNN:" "Let's go." "Well, we're not gonna get very far in this, are we?" "Get in." "I'm not saying we should've taken him to your place... but if we're out an extra 100 bucks... .we could've taken him to someplace a little less disgusting, you know?" "You can still see the chalk outline from the last person who stayed here." " Is anybody besides me getting hungry?" " No." "Sit down and shut up." "Oh, it's an uncatered kidnapping." "Boy, you guys really did not think this through at all, did you?" "I'm starting to understand why people would want you dead... even if you hadn't stolen the funds." "Oh, please." "Am I a lousy businessman?" "Absolutely." "The worst." "But I am not a criminal." "I am simply the victim of some financial oversights... .that were somewhat challenging to explain in court." " Buzz." " So this dump does have a fax machine." "There's the number, and it's $2 a page." "That's coming out of your third." "[PHONE RINGING]" " What?" " Ah, Sanchez." "Charming as always." "Uh, listen, we have Hirschbaum." "And I need you to get the..." "The feds think he was kidnapped." "You guys are like real criminals." "Listen, I need you to pull the subpoena from Evidence and fax it over to me." "Can't do it." "The FBI's got all that stuff in the conference room." "Well..." "Well, then get me the chief on the phone." "Hirschbaum's girlfriend said the kidnappers... were "thuggish older men"... .and that one of their grandsons was there videotaping It... probably to establish proof of life." "She's sitting down with the artist." "We should have faces to distribute shortly." "[SNICKERS]" " Chief, uh, Taylor for you on three." " Oh, thank you, detective." " Yes, commander?" "PROVENZA [OVER PHONE]:" "It's Provenza." "We have Hirschbaum." "We're five minutes from killing him and then ourselves." "Uh, but first I need a copy of that subpoena..." " ...so I can serve it to him." " Oh, that's a shame, commander." "Would you excuse me for a minute?" " Closed?" "Open?" " Closed." "Thanks." "I can't get you that subpoena, lieutenant." "And if you contact Doyle for new papers that's telling him Hirschbaum's alive." "My whole strategy depends on people thinking he's dead." "Hang on." "I can't leave with Agent Howard here, but I have questions for Hirschbaum." "My boss has some questions for you." "Are you gonna at least .read me my rig:" "Tell him I don't have to." "I'm on the phone." "She doesn't have to." "She's on the phone." "I am sitting here with two police officers." "Tell him..." "Oh, for heaven's sakes, lieutenant." "Put me on speakerphone." "I" "Yeah." "Here." "Speakerphone." "Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza are not police officers today." " They're private citizens." " Well, then I've been kidnapped." "Well, would you like me to tell the FBI?" "They're right here." "All right, fine, I will answer your questions." "But I have to tell you, I am finding this whole situation extremely upsetting." "Why did you kill Scott Esposito?" "What are you talking about?" "I had nothing to do with that." "I think you did." "You set him up at the hotel and then shot him." "You thought by the time we realized it wasn't you, you'd be out of the country." "That is so not true." "His ending up dead screwed me royally." " If you didn't kill him, who did?" " This may come as a surprise... but right now, I am about as popular as your average Middle Eastern dictator." "But if I had to guess, I would say It was probably my wife, Shannon.." "The nearsighted bitch." "Why would she want you dead?" "Probably because she found out about my girlfriend." "And Shannon is the only person that knew I was at that hotel." "Lieutenant, take me off speakerphone." "All right." "Did Buzz videotape the abduction of Mr. Hirschbaum?" "PROVENZA:" "Uh-huh." " You want him to e-mail it over to you?" " Immediately." "I'm about to bring Mr. Hirschbaum back to life." "Mm-hm." "What kind of good news?" "Did you find my dad's killer?" "Oh, it's so much better than that, Andrea." "You see, it turns out that the man... who died last night at the hotel wasn't even your father." " What?" "Who was he?" " An imposter... hired to throw off the authorities." "My husband's alive?" "Are you sure?" "I am." "In fact, I've got some video taken of him two hours ago." "Uh, bear with me, I am awful with this control thingy." "There." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" " Hello?" "You called for a limo?" "STEVEN:" "Yeah." "Just a minute." "That's really his voice." "That's Steven's voice." "Ha, ha." "FLYNN:" "Oh, God." "It's still in Evidence." "[GASPS]" "What is he doing with her?" "[SCREAMS]" " You know that woman?" " It's Lisa Fleming, our personal trainer." " What were they doing together?" " Heading off to Venezuela." "Venezuela?" "He can't be taking Lisa Fleming to Caracas." " He was supposed to be taking me." " It's "Caracas." You pronounce the R." "I liked my father more when he was dead." "Oh, you wanted the death certificate so you could go claim your inheritance." "Which, let's be honest, you would probably waste on charity." "Let's be honest." "You said you didn't know about the hotel." "What else did you lie about?" "I told you I liked your ugly new haircut." "You can start there." " Where is he?" " Yeah, where?" "I wanna know." "I think the motel is called Las Pulgas." "Uh, let me check." "[CELL PHONE RINGING]" " Yep?" "BRENDA [OVER PHONE]:" "Lieutenant... in between leaving here last night and arriving at the hotel, where did you stop?" "Uh, well, uh, the lawyer's office to pick up the papers..." "It's the chief." "...And, uh, then the gas station." "Why?" "When did you notice the taillight?" " Uh, when we left the hotel." " That's what 1 thought." "Lets replay the events of last night and see what happens." " Uh, what about the wife and daughter?" "ANDREA:" "Think you were the first bimbette?" "I'm releasing them back into the wild, lieutenant." "ANDREA:" "Bimbette isn't the B-word." " Stay In touch." " I can't believe you actually" " Ugh." "All right, Flynn, here's the deal." "Uh, you keep an eye on numbnuts here... and, uh, Buzz is gonna run me over to the lawyer's office." "If this is still about collecting the 4 grand..." "I say we cut our losses and get out of here." "We can't afford to cut our losses." "We're in a hole that's getting deeper and filling with water." "We need that money just to break even." "Come on." "Uh, excuse me, uh, guys." "I couldn't help but, uh, overhear." "You know, if either of you are experiencing any financial difficulties..." " Stay out of this." "Go see the lawyer." " Hear me out." "Personally, I think it is shameful that heroes of the public sector... such as you gentlemen should have to take outside jobs... just to make ends meet." "Where are you going with this?" "Look, I would never dream of offering you a payoff." "But, urn, how would you feel... about taking an untraceable cash gratuity... to, uh, you know, look the other way?" " Are you trying to bribe police officers?" " Were not police officers today, Buzz." "Just make sure that camera stays off." "Ahem, now, how much are we talking about exactly?" "Well..." "I don't know, $100,000?" "Each?" "I could transfer the money to an account of your choosing... you could serve me those papers, and you'd never hear from me again." "All I need is a disposable cell phone and an International calling card." "You're not actually considering this, are you?" "Are you?" "Oh, my gosh." "You are." "Gentlemen." "Fritzy." "How's the Hirschbaum investigation going?" "Not so well." "In fact, it's turned into more of an AARP manhunt." "Any chance you can identify these disgruntled shareholders?" "[GABRIEL LAUGHS]" "Well, they do look familiar." " We agreed my people were gonna" " I suspended Flynn and Provenza." "You telling me you had no idea they captured a fugitive?" "Do we know it's Hirschbaum?" "The last Hirschbaum we found wasn't even Hirschbaum." "Look, why don't you ride along with me, and If things go as I expect... you'll have your fugitive, and I'll have my killer." "Well?" "Coming?" "Hey, don't open the door with your foot." "[MUTTERS]" "Oh." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "[DOOR OPENS]" " Mr. Doyle?" " Oh, evening, lieutenant, uh." "I suppose you've come to collect your money." "Uh, actually, no." "I, urn, hate to bother you with this... but I'm going to need another copy of the subpoena." "Why would you need another copy of the subpoena?" "Uh, turns out the guy we served last night, the one that went off the balcony... was not Steven Hirschbaum." " Then who was he?" " Scott somebody." "A low-level crook who was also a not-very-good actor." "Uh, anyway, I'm gonna need some fresh papers." "I just spent the last 12 hours drafting new motions... based on the erroneous idea that this guy Is dead." " You people are terrible." " Yeah, well..." " I mean, really." " Now, look, uh." "My partner and I have Hirschbaum at this fleabag just a few miles from here." "Just give me the subpoena, we serve him, you pay us... .and everything's right back on track, right?" "Yeah, yeah, great, fine." "I just-I..." "I need a couple of minutes to run this off." "Honestly." "[CHUCKLES]" "This is where my taillight was broken out... .hile my car was just parked here." "Why?" "Why would someone do something so senseless?" "Because it makes your car easier to follow In the dark." "Get in." "I'm never gonna let you get away with taking that bribe." "You know that, don't you?" "Yeah, well... you have no idea what Flynn and I could do with that money." "[CHUCKLES]" "And let me tell you, the best thing for you, young man... .is to keep your mouth shut about all of this, huh?" "Now, pull away from here and drive slowly." " Why" " Oh, for goodness' sakes." "For once would you just do it, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes?" "You have no idea how disappointed I am In you." "[CHUCKLING]" "Look, the authorities call it "sexual tourism"... .but it's not like that's all you do while you're there." "These women are amazing tour guides, the beaches are fantastic..." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "PROVENZA:" "Flynn." " You ready?" " Yeah." "Ready Freddy." "Look, we're gonna serve you the paper take your picture, and then we're gone." "Good." "And listen, listen." "I'm gonna act really surprised when I open the door, okay?" " Well, that would be a nice touch." " Yeah." "PROVENZA:" "All right?" " Yeah." "All right, go." "All right." "STEVEN:" "Who is it?" " The maid." "STEVEN:" "Just a second." "Hey, what's going on You're not the maid." "Steven Hirschbaum, consider yourself served." "Okay, that's that." "We're square, huh?" "Just do us a favor." "Count to 60 before you come out." "Sixty." "Got it." "Hey, guys, I just want you to know, I'm really gonna miss the three of you." "You, with the gruff attitude." "And you, with a much bigger heart than you let on, mister." "And you, all wide-eyed and innocent." "I think I'm gonna miss you most of all." "Yeah, yeah." "So long, Dorothy." "Wait, I left the Catfish in there." "Don't worry about the damn Catfish." "We'll get It later." "I'll..." "I'll pick it up when I come back to get my security deposit." "Let's go." "PROVENZA:" "Mother of pearl." "Ugh, just drive around to the side of the building and stop." "[ENGINE STARTS]" "Eleven Mississippi, 12 Mississippi..." "Nineteen Mississippi, 20 Mississippi..." "Thirty-two Mississippi, 33 Mississippi... .34 Mississippi, 35 Mississippil 36 Mississippi... 37 Mississippi..." " Drop your weapon." "Drop it." " What the...?" "What?" "Okay." " Don't move!" "Don't move!" " Okay." "Okay." " I have a permit for that." " Did it permit you to kill Scott Esposito?" "Owen Doyle, you're under arrest." "You have the right to remain silent." "I might not be the best attorney In the world, but I know my rights." "Oh, this is the last time I hire you." "Well, as long as we get the 4 grand you owe us, who cares?" "[CHUCKLES]" "Fifty-eight Mississippi, 59 Mississippi and 60." "FBI." "You're under arrest." "[SCREAMING]" "STEVEN:" "No, no, no!" "Aah!" "[GRUNTS]" "[Hey.;0] MAN" "[MEN GRUNTING]" "[STEVEN GROANS]" "Oh, God." "Hey, hey." "All right." "This Is totally Illegal." "I bribed Officers Flynn and Provenza." "And when that comes out in court, you are going to look ridiculous." "FLYNN:" "Not as ridiculous as you're gonna look... having punched your offshore account numbers into this disposable cell phone." "Yes, that doesn't make you look too good." "I really can't argue with that." "Oh, my Catfish." "It's broken." "You two are personally responsible for replacing that equipment." "And... good work." "FLYNN:" "Thank you, chief." "Yeah." "Heh." "Are you the guy that tried to kill me?" "What did I ever do to you?" "Try returning a phone call every now and then." "What are you doing?" "Get over here." "Consider the damage to my reputation." "Hey, you took one for the team, okay?" "Look, look." "How...?" "How does this make me look?" "If you can't put a positive spin on our arresting a murderer..." "I gotta wonder if it might be time for you to move on." "Uh-uh, no, no, no." "I can live with this." "Why wouldn't I think it?" "You lied to me about how much you were getting paid... you wrecked my car, you got me suspended... and made me spend a day with the worst person on Earth." " But we didn't take a bribe." " Yeah, and after we fix your car... and pay for the motel and replace Flynn's suit... and repair the Catfish, we'll have $600." "That's 200 bucks apiece, huh?" "Okay, all right." "I want you to know that my showing up at that motel... .had nothing to do with my planning to kill Steven Hirschbaum." "I have no idea who shot that other guy." "Ballistics matched your gun to the bullets taken from the victim." " I lent that gun to a friend." " We found the victim's blood... on your car seat, door handle, and on a handkerchief in your office." "I suppose all this makes me the criminal here?" " Well, sir, you did kill somebody." " An actor." "Okay, I will admit that there is no excuse for not killing the right person." "I mean, that's like failing Murder 101." "But I never intended to kill that other guy." "Intent travels with the bullet." "If you meant to kill Mr. Hirschbaum... the fact that you only killed Esposito Is Immaterial In the eyes of the law." " Really?" " Did you actually go to law school?" "Yes, I went to law school." "The very best the Caribbean had to offer." "Which is why I can assure you that every day Hirschbaum Is alive... is another day his victims aren't getting their money." "Poke holes in that." "Go on, go on, poke holes." "You can't." "Because everything I have done up until now has been completely legal." " You know, except for the murder." " And breaking my taillight." "BRENDA:" "I'm not just arresting you for murder." "I'm arresting you so your clients .can get better representation." "Okay." "I know that killing an embezzler, or even an actor... should never have been plan A. I never would've done this... if it weren't for the fact that I am totally dead broke." " What?" "BRENDA:" "And the money you wet paying..." " ...to have Mr. Hirschbaum served?" " I don't have it." "I never did." "And now I never will." "Oh, my gosh." "How does a job that's supposed to net us 4 grand wind up costing 4 grand?" "You call that, uh, "Provenza-nomics"?" " It's always my fault- FRITZ:" "Lieutenants." " Chief and I were discussing the news." " What's that?" "There's a reward for information leading .to the recovery of the funds, $1OOOO." " We're rich." "FRITZ:" "Hitch is... if you were law enforcement... at the time of uncovering the money, you can't collect." "Well, that's perfect, because we were off duty." "Ah, you'll just have to explain to Professional Standards... why you were using police equipment off duty to perform a warrantless search." "So that means?" "You can accept the reward and resign... or you can decline it I and keep your jobs..." " Hey, I'm not a police officer." " That's right, he's not." "How was he instrumental In uncovering the funds?" " Oh, uh, well" " I bought the phone Hirschbaum used... to reveal his millions." " There you go." " That's good enough for me." "FLYNN:" "Hey, Buzz, wait." "We'll help you fill out that form." "You do understand what this means, right?" " Yes." "I'm rich." " Ha, ha." "No, you're splitting it three ways." "Fine." "You can each have a third." "Two hundred dollars." "[English" " US" " SDH]"