"In the village of the region of La Mancha who's name I don't care to remember, there lived not so long ago one of those gentlemen who keep a lance in a rack an old shield, a lean horse and a swift hound." "Gone to isn't." "An early riser and lover of the hunt." "They say his name was Don Quixote da La Mancha, who's spent his days reading books of knight-errantry, which he loved and enjoyed so much that he completely lost it." "Now, all the fantasies in those books, became such an obsession that he thought of nothing else but duels, enchantments, battles and impossible love." "Until the day came when he had the most extravagant notion of all to call himself a knight-errant and go in search of grand adventures, just like all the heroes in his books." "But Don Quixote needed a squire so, he decided to work on the neighboring farmer" "And although it wasn't easy, he persisted in traumas so much, that in the end poor Sancho, for that was him name, agreed to go with him, leaving behind his wife, his land and all his possessions." "Now all he left, in his search for eternity, was a lady to fall in love with and knew him for." "You see, a knight-errant without love is a knight without a soul." "He suddenly recalled a farm girl from a nearby village, although he didn't actually know her, he'd been in love from afar." "And so was inspired to create the damsel of his dreams and although that lady never existed she would always be for him, his Dulcinea." "Dulcinea del ta Boso!" "Not again!" "I'm fed up with this!" "Who cares anyhow?" "It's always the same old yard!" "What are you saying?" "I mean, the book says very clearly." "Why should I bother with some old book when I was there to see it myself?" "You mean, you're Rucio, Sancho's donkey?" "Hold it right there!" "The only talking donkey I know is a friend of mine who hangs out with some green ogre!" "I'm a horse!" "And it's about time the world knew the truth." "The truth?" "What truth?" "It all began quite some time ago after we got back from that first adventure." "Don Quixote, Sancho, Rosinante and yours truly" "It stinks like donkey around here!" "So, where do you think you're going, donkey?" "This road is for horses only!" "So, what's this pig doing here then?" "Are you blind?" "Can't you see what a wonderful steed he is?" "I wasn't talking to you!" "One day I'll be a great horse and I'll do all kinds of important stuff, you'll see." "Just remember, you'll have to pass the pony exams first." "I'm afraid he'll have a tough time with the practical!" "No one will humiliate me, ever again!" ""The Challenge of the Knight"" "Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left!" "Squad positions!" "I don't believe it!" "Yes!" "Three to line!" "And what exactly do you think you're doing, James?" "It's perfect!" "A hurricane would'nt even knock this lockdown." "You're safe!" "I got you!" "Off, James... now!" "Everything is under control!" "You won't believe this, Rocinante!" "It's incredible!" "But..." "Not acceptable..." "Excuse us..." "Stop!" "Hey you, you don't take another step!" "What do you want?" "We're not even meant to be talking to each other!" "Our masters might not be speaking but you and I are horses." "Negative!" "He's already made it clear, he doesn't want to talk." "Look, buddy!" "When I was working as a body guard for Bobby Ecca, El Sids horse, we were right in the middle of shooting a big scene, and Balinski..." "Besides, it was Sancho's fault." "No, it was Quixote's fault and his absurd obsession with chivalry and love, which don't even exist." "Don't exist for you maybe!" "Horses like you turn their life into big, fat lie." "Look it yourself here in this old barn, a sad and ridiculous office with a handful of hands and some little squirt as a body guard?" "How convenient..." ""The Drinking Trough"?" "Rocinante, you became a coward!" "Now you've gone too far, pal!" "We have to stop Quixote from seeing this!" "Stop him?" "But this is our chance to get some dignity back in our lives." "Make our dreams come true!" "Your dreams you mean, but then you're just the same as Quixote..." "Say it, why don't you?" "A fool!" "Losers!" "One more word from you and it's minced meat!" "Don't you even think about it!" "Give that back!" "This is really important!" "Very, very important!" "There's an ending to your dreams!" "You haven't spoken in months and now all of a sudden you got to talk?" "Well, just make sure you'll remind him to pay the rent, that's all!" "This time it's different!" "We're meeting at Bachelor Carasco's place, neutral territory." "Who knows, what trouble he'll get you in to now?" "Please, what do you think you're doing, dressed like that Sancho?" "What's wrong with this?" "Ten years and still like me!" "Fits like a glove to me." "Hey, my friend!" "Where would we be without you?" "And you are not riding that broken down donkey!" "Take the new horse!" "Just her way of showing affection." "My dear Sancho, come in." "We were waiting for you!" "Where is Quixote?" "Sancho!" "Let's get this over with." "I got the donkey double parked." "Gentlemen!" "We have know one another since childhood." "You Don Quixote, are the most famous and healthy in the village." "After you, Bachelor!" "And you Sancho, wealthy and respectable man, you followed him for a dream but it all went sour, didn't it?" "He said I get to be governor of a island if I went with him." "Yeah, but we didn't find Dulcinea." "You saw her, but I didn't." "Because you left me alone!" "As you can see there've been quite a few letters concerning that book about you two you even got a fun club, which isn't bad especially when you consider that I, for example, haven't had a letter in years." "And, on top of it all, this flooded the region with these pamphlets." ""I, Knight of the Crescent Moon, having learned of the adventures of the knight-errant Don Quixote do challenge him to a dual in Barcelona this full moon." "If I should win," "Quixote will hand over his arms and renounce Dulcinea for ever" "but if Quixote will be the winner" "I promise to reveal the true identity of Dulcinea and will give her all my treasures and possessions." "So, what's all this got to do with me?" "My dear Sancho, do I have to remind you that you were the one who went off with him to resurrected this all chivalry thing and now, you're Quixote and Sancho," "Sancho and Quixote and indivisible symbol of this beautiful village its main heritage, the pride of La Mancha." "You are everything!" "And your point is?" "The truth is, Quixote asked me to intercede." "Just shake hands, can't you?" "Go along with him on this new adventure." "Help him as I do, for the sake of friendship." "Well, he can forget about Barcelona for a start." "I can not, in truth, forget about Barcelona if that is where I shall find the beautiful Dulcinea, queen of my days and princess of my nights." "For you, Quixote!" "That old pile of junk?" "Extraordinary!" "Looks like Teresa's girdle!" "If I'm not mistaking this magnificent gem is nothing less than Esplaziana." "The armor of the mythical knight Esplandium." "You seem to know everything, Quixote!" "Everything is in the books!" "Please, take this is a small sign of a Bachelor Carasco's commitment to our beloved hero." "What about me?" "Huh?" "Nothing, for me nothing!" "Giddyup!" "This is absurd, we can't go on like this!" "Pay me and we're even!" "But of course I will!" "As soon as we get back from Barcelona." "Oh, not again please!" "I already said, not back there, didn't I?" "I mean, what do you want?" "Me to follow on another mad escapade, just to get dumped on again?" "We will show the world, how to live an exceptional life." "Forget it!" "So that's a yes, then!" "Look at them!" "They're impatient to be off!" "Get off!" "But we honoring money!" "Are you with him?" "Didn't I make myself clear?" "Come on!" "No!" "My friend, a knight-errant is not one who just does what the world expects, no!" "He must live as his heart dictates." "You forget I'm not like you Quixote." "I'm not a knight-errant." "I'm just a simple man." "Can I suggest a straight thought?" "It was good to see you again." "Good luck and have fun!" "But I need you Sancho." "You're the only one who ever saw her." "Look Quixote!" "I don't..." "OK!" "Give me one good reason why I should go!" "The treasure?" "Not bad, huh?" "That treasure, how much are we talking about?" "I mean, does it say anywhere?" "I need another reason!" "Is that you sweetie?" "Just in time to help!" "Hurry up!" "There's a lot to do today!" "OK, sweetie!" "But I get the treasure, you can keep the women!" "Oh no..." "But who's gonna take care of my chickens?" "God!" "Little Sancho, how I should put this?" "Have you got any spare cash on you?" "Here we go again!" "But what about me?" "Does my opinion count for anything around here?" "Sweetie?" "Are you there?" "But if you don't want them to reach Barcelona, why do you help them?" "To play to the gallery, of course!" "If I want to be famous," "I have to start with my own village." "Here everyone worships Quixote and they will believe I supported him." "And now?" "We have to stop them getting to Barcelona at all cost!" "I want to humiliate them, to get rid of them," "Have their thing vanished forever." "Quixote is already wearing the first trap" "That armor is as dangerous as his damned madness." "And now I'll have the services of Sinister knight and you will help execute my foolproof plan." "Is that clear, Adalanida?" "But does Sinister really exist then?" "My little chickens!" "No, I said no." "I'm not going..." "Excuse me!" "Excuse me, would you like to be an authentic knight-errant?" "Build your own armory in easy installments?" "Windmill or Giant!" "Check for yourself with today's special offer." "For sure it is..." "Horrible!" "Magnicifient!" "Or buy here your own copy of Don Quixote!" "So, that of the book was true." "You absolutely have to own a copy and pretend to avoid it if you want to be anyone around here." "A bargain!" "10 Euro crowns!" "But I'm don Quixote!" "Of course, you are!" "They all are." "8 Euro crowns?" "What are they doing here?" "They want to see the fair Dulcinea before the duel of course." "5 Euro crowns?" "Can this be... possible?" "So, who's written that?" "Miguel de..." "Cervantes!" "There's this great bit about how Sancho found Dulcinea..." "OK!" "OK!" "I'll take it but tear out those pictures about Sancho and Dulcinea." "Is this, by the sacred laws of chivalry, home to the peerless Dulcinea?" "Hey, I don't need it autographed." "You don't think I'd sell the original for 20 Euro crowns, do you?" "But we said 5!" "That was before I knew it was an adaptation!" "What's all is about a book then?" "What's not in the books, life will teach you!" "Hey you, get in line!" "I'm Don Quixote De La Mancha, my beloved..." "Get in line!" "Relax Sancho, as soon as they see us they'll send the impostors packing." "Invitation, membership card?" "But..." "No sneakers!" "Next!" "Noble guardian of the virgin, the peerless Dulcinea" "Please, announce the arrival of Don Quixote!" "Let him in!" "No, no, he's Quixote!" "Actually my squire, here present, and Dulcinea already acquainted." "A great honor, 100 Euro crowns." "Just to see her?" "Per person, discounts only for babies, pensioners and veterans of the battle of Lejanto." "YOU!" "And the other gentleman?" "I'll see her in Barcelona, everything is free there." "But how will I know it's truly her without you by my side?" "Nice doing business with you gentlemen." "This way!" "Hurry along now and no pushing!" "If it's her, just give me a sign!" "Is it really you beautiful lady?" "Move back!" "Well..." "How...should I know." "I can't see her face." "Move it to the line, pendeho!" "Are you crazy?" "Well... technically, yeah." "Could you possibly draw that curtain back a little, my friend?" "I'm waiting to calling to five: one, two..." "You dare challenge me!" "3,4,5!" "They are in trouble, we have got to help!" "No way!" "I can't stand violence!" "Coward!" "So, I guess this is where we will all get beaten to a pulp!" "What's wrong with that piece of junk?" "Well... according to the legend, the soul of the knight Esplandian lives inside this armor." "Is there room in there for the two of you?" "Allow me to express my sorrow for all of this." "See how my heart beats in torment." "My beloved one, I always..." "Perhaps you were going a bit too fast for her?" "Can I come in?" "They kidnapped Dulcinea!" "Sinister's forces are at hand!" "What have you done with our little Dulcinea?" "There's no time to waste!" "I must save my love!" "Don't leave me here!" "Confess!" "Are you not at Sinister's service?" "How dare you claim such a thing?" "If I were you, I would run!" "Oh, I'm with you, partner." "Let's get out of here." "That old piece of junk, gives me the willies." "Brother knights!" "Gentlemen, who is Don Quixote?" "I!" "I!" "Me!" "I!" "Then I say, why be Don Quixote?" "Why not Lancelot, Perceval, Amades?" "King Arthur or the peers of France?" "What kind of knights are you?" "Because, of all you are knights, aren't you?" "YES!" "YES!" "Pursuing justice, protecting widows, helping orphans and seeking true love." "Yeah, Yeah!" "Absolutely!" "So why not do so each in your own way?" "You, sir... what was your name before becoming a fake Quixote?" "My name was Peter!" "Peter the Panmaker, but there's got to be more to life than that." "Quite so, but why not aid yourself?" "Sir Peter, the Panmaker." "Sir Peter Pan!" "Sir Peter Pan?" "Yes, I like it!" "Before you know it, that name will be famous as..." "Don Quixote." "You think so?" "Ridiculous!" "And you... what's your name?" "My name..." "Remisio and I sell balloons!" "They call me Globus." "Sir Globus is... good." "Then... who is Quixote?" "Not me!" "No,no, not me!" "I intriged heaven, to protect you my friends!" "The world will remember your deeds!" "And one day we should get round the fire and with great joy recall our exploits!" "To adventure!" "Yay!" "To adventure!" "And now what?" "They're all nuts!" "You are a genius!" "I would never thought of that!" "What do you mean?" "That nonsense you made up to get rid of them." "It was no trick, my friend!" "True knights, one and all..." "Perhaps you too'll join us one day." "Come on, Sancho let us depart to free my love from the evil jaws of Sinister." "We don't even know it was her!" "He does!" "Trust me!" "Enough!" "My olympic days are over!" "But wasn't that guy blind?" "I do so hate the country side." "Not against the occasional picnic or anything but... tastes like a dish cloth." "How do you imagine her?" "Who?" "Dulcinea?" "I told you before, I don't want to talk about love." "So far as I'm concerned there's no such thing!" "Can you imagine someone searching the world for you just because you're the way you are?" "I think I prefer eating a dish cloth!" "One day I'll be a horse and Dulcinea will kiss me." "You don't say." "Now if you'll excuse me," "I have important business to attend to." "One more time Sancho, tell me again, what was she like?" "One in a million!" "The fairest damsel who ever took breath!" "Quixote, what would happen if Dulcinea didn't exist?" "My life would be meaningless!" "Well, it wouldn't be so bad, would it?" "And how was her voice?" "Was it bright?" "Look, Quixote!" "If I was a woman, I think you're a good man, and I'd give you a chance." "Seriously?" "Of course not, I'm just saying that to shut you up." "It's time to sleep." "Good night Sancho!" "Good night Quixote!" "Sancho?" "What?" "Thanks, for believing in me!" "Hey, boss!" "You want to scare me to death or what?" "Everything is under control!" "If that chicken can't keep up the pace, it's his problem." "They're so far ahead the way I see it we have to gallop all day until sunset." "A great plan!" "How very convincing!" "Wake up, Sancho!" "We must free my love!" "Day is for work, night is for rest!" "It's already daylight!" "I say it's night!" ""Duke  Duchess Burlones"" "There's nothing wrong with stopping to eat." "Everyone needs to eat and so many people can..." "Help!" "A damsel in distress!" "So!" "We must help her!" "I thought they were singing?" "Won't anyone help me?" "I'll take care of the lion and you save the fair lady." "But I don't even know her!" "Forward my brave steed!" "Who?" "Sorry!" "Never heard of him!" "OK, so, what do you do when you come face to face with a wild lion?" "Tremble?" "Tremble?" "That's it?" "That's it!" "OK, OK, step aside." "I'll take care of this." "Everything's under control!" "Hurry, there's no time to waste!" "Listen lady, take it easy!" "We must act immediately!" "She's in a great danger!" "But the lion's coming straight towards us!" "Did we have to come all this way just to make fools of ourselves?" "Get lost!" "O, my..." "Is...is he... dead?" "He's killed my Rucio!" "Is he dead?" "Stand!" "Stand it if you dare!" "Thanks for the escort." "Your wish is our command." "Unfortunately, we can't detain ourselves further as we're pursuing the delinquents who kidnapped my beloved Dulcinea." "How romantic!" "Let's go to the castle!" "I'm sure my husband will send our fearsome army after those villains and besides, that's mean you will be able to rest a little." "Attend to my guests and take care of their..." "Our fearsome army." "Take him for supper!" "Isn't that the lion...?" "Never fear!" "Bartolo is only aggressive outside the castle walls." "A little insecurity problem!" "My respects, your grace!" "Don Quixote De La Mancha." "At your faithful service." "Darling!" "I told this brave knight we'd help catch the kidnappers of his beloved lady." "I guarantee that wagon will never leave this land... because, I imagine they travel in a wagon.... don't they?" "Many thanks, but I can't possibly let anyone else perform the duty, that is mine alone." "You saved my love and permit me in the name of the sacred laws of chivalry to do the same for you." "If you vote the laws of chivalry then I have no option." "First, we shall send my army with Bartolo, a great tracker, and once they've found the witching miscreants it will fall to you to free here." "But if you wish my men can beat them, whip them, delight them on along the ground until they scream and plead for mercy..." "Darling!" "Your commitment is all true clear!" "And your reward, ask whatever you wish and it shall be yours." "I consider myself already payed in full." "And you my friend, from all I posess choose what you wish." "So, for example, if I asked for food, you'd give it to me?" "Done!" "What else do you wish?" "Money?" "Can I ask for money?" "Done!" "It is said, that the wish of the noble Sancho is to be governor of an island." "Yeah, right!" "Can I ask for one of those islands with water all around it?" "By luck!" "In my dominions there is just such an island and it needs a governor." "An island!" "And with water all around it!" "But how I can leave you on your own?" "After all the sacrifices you have made" "I insist you take immediate possession." "I have to tell Teresa!" "Don't worry!" "We'll take care of everything!" "My friend!" "Forgive me if I ever doubted you." "All you ever promised has come true!" "To the new governor!" "Governor Sancho Pansa!" "Your eyes... your eyes are like..." "two eyes!" "That's just gotten too far!" "Your voice..." "Now let me see!" "How does your voice sound?" "I don't believe this!" "You're such a seducer!" "What the...?" "Well, well, you know mares like I know mares." "If I were you, I'd gonna check this out." "Oh, get lost!" "My dear governor, forgive me for summoning you like this but I need your help." "Oh, right!" "Governor!" "Your wish is my command, Duchess!" "Take this!" "I understand, you literally, actually seen this Dulcinea and I was wondering what she's like." "Why do you ask?" "It's all there in this new bestseller, you see, everything that happened and Cervantes assures us you never even saw Dulcinea." "And another thing!" "Quixote is in danger from the Sinister knight and only you can help him." "But Quixote made him up!" "Oh, no, he is real, as real as they come and he plans to destroy Quixote." "But we know how to get rid of him and doing so help Quixote find his Dulcinea." "But she doesn't exist either!" "Listen carefully Sancho, if you want to save Quixote and keep your precious island..." "As midnight has passed and your valued soldiers have not returned" "I beg your leave to depart." "Don't be so impatient!" "I'm sure they'll be back soon." "But Barcelona is my final clue to Dulcinea and the full moon is but two nights away." "Forget such forwardness my lord but I must abandon you fortwest because..." "Oh, yeah, that's it, I thought I heard the guardsmen, perhaps they have news." "Off you go!" "Tell me Quixote, is it true you never actually saw Dulcinea?" "Not with my eyes, it's true, but with my heart every second of my life." "But Sancho has seen her and his eyes are keener than mine." "So often blinded by passion!" "I think I'm heading off tomorrow." "Sir, the constable has..." "The wagon?" "...a wagon and brought it to the castle..." "Here?" "Sorry?" "Oh, yeah, a wagon with two men and a woman in the back, and they ask to take refuge according to the sacred laws of chivalry." "Ok, can I go now?" "What's wrong?" "Under laws of refuge... we can't touch them." "Am I to believe that with Dulcinea and her captors right here, you plan to do nothing?" "Do men make laws only to denie justice?" "But nobody even knows what she looks like!" "Except, the governor!" "What if it really is her?" "You're right!" "Justice should be above the law!" "Is the governor willing to help?" "Is it she?" "Is she or is she not Dulcinea?" "Quixote, the truth is..." "This is no behavior of the governor!" "Is it possible?" "Is this, by the glory of the sacred laws of chivalry, the place where..." "Come on!" "Come on, let us not waste more time!" "Don't get me angry, pendeho!" "I shell respect you under refuge on the condition you immediately release the beautiful Dulcinea queen of my days and princess of my nights." "Oh, that's nice!" "Release me, you say?" "The macho man hasn't been born who can get the better of me." "I have no words Dulcinea!" "Love weakens my voice and my will." "And you are?" "Don Quixote De La Mancha!" "At your faithful service!" "Ah, not another one!" "Don't waste your time, sunshine!" "Well, I never imagined the moment quite like that." "Why don't humans understand what we say?" "They can't be too intelligent, can they?" "After all, we understand everything they say." "It's all for the best, Rucio!" "Your master got his island, mine is Dulcinea and I got a mare, with a magnificent apartment." "But it's all lie!" "It's always been a lie!" "Where are you?" "Crap!" "Not as long we believed in it!" "Honky?" "Honky?" "Rucio, we're off, right now!" "Not now!" "I said, no!" "What have I done?" "What have I done?" "I'll never be able to look Quixote in the face again!" "Hanky, are you deaf or something?" "My dear Don, cool your aching heart," "Dulcinea will speak with you or else..." "Without her I'm nothing!" "And your thoughts are now on marriage?" "Marriage?" "So soon?" "Well, and how long have you been searching for her?" "For all eternity!" "Time goes by Quixote!" "I married Duchess without knowing her." "Well, I don't suppose I know her now really!" "Yeah, if you put it like that!" "So, you accept?" "We still aren't far enough!" "You could've brought a horse!" "Still a good way to go on til we reach the Isle of Bariteria, governor!" "Good!" "The further the better!" "Queen of my days, princess of my nights," "I am your faithful servant." "Must you keep repeating yourself?" "So, what's an offer, exactly?" "Your true love!" "Something a little more tangiable?" "One must marry well, you know!" "I haven't even asked her yet!" "What pretence of love is this if you can't show how much you care?" "Don't I deserve a diamond necklace?" "Aren't I worth a house in a country?" "A private pension?" "Paid holidays in Palm Beach?" "A weekly facial?" "Get him out of my sight!" "How can this skinflint possibly be the true Quixote?" "But I am he!" "Yeah, the one who fought windmills and travelled the world for love, without even knowing me." "Giants!" "They were giants!" "Look!" "I never asked a thing, not battles nor adventures." "And now, when all I want is a decent wedding, the true Quixote wouldn't reject me just because I wasn't up to his dreams." "He wouldn't treat me like some toy!" "Wisdom was never so painfully gained." "I have been selfish, Dulcinea!" "Let us do what you say!" "Immediately!" "All that is mine is yours!" "Hurray!" "Tonight, a party!" "And you'll get to wear the new clothes that we've braided for you with all my love." "Sweetie pie, where are you?" "I tell you Sinister, they'll never reach Barcelona!" "They're finished!" "That includes the supplements for your serves, letting themselves get wamped by Sancho." "Exclusive rights in case you decide to sell the story someday." "Is that clear, Avellaneda?" "Now let me see, we have to pay rent on the set and the castle." "My husband has to conduct a very expensive wedding tomorrow." "And you can't begin to imagine the amount of top quality meat that beast eats every day." "This is what we agreed, the rest later." "Aren't you going to say anything?" "Yes!" "I want to keep Bartolo!" "Oh, what for?" "To eat people!" "But he is a vegetarian!" "I want to keep Bartolo!" "What about me?" "That Quixote don't look like he's so loaded after all." "But his friend is my dear, and he feels so guilty he won't deny a thing..." "Who was it?" "Are you OK, Honky darling?" "Don't you like my new hair style?" "You really think a thoroughbred like me would be interested in some cheap trotter?" "Oh, here comes the part were I really get it!" "Ooh, now I'm angry!" "You are like so... pathetic!" "Nice outfit, Quixote!" "You have to admit Al Disidora has impeccable taste." "Alti... who?" "Did I say Al Disidora?" "My friend, forget Barcelona!" "You got your Dulcinea now!" "The real one of course!" "The truth is," "I was wondering if my good friend Sancho will be back in time for the wedding." "Of course!" "How could he miss this?" "I've got this funny feeling we been going around in circles." "It's a trick, don't you see?" "Now I understand!" "Of course!" "Great!" "Listen, they give me the wrong map!" "Oh, really?" "How can be this the isle of Bariteria?" "It hasn't got water all around it." "And did you figure that out all by yourself or did the donkey help?" "Thanks for your help, guys but I'm heading back to the castle!" "Quixote needs me and I don't think" "I'd be much of a governor anyhow." "What do I owe you?" "You're not going back any place!" "I'm a free man!" "I'll do what I want!" "No!" "You won't!" "Roasted over a slow flame, I think!" "Wait!" "The eating was bad enough, but burned alive?" "Don't worry, boss!" "Now you're making me dizzy!" "Oh, a great plan!" "Really effective!" "No!" "Smoke?" "No, thank you, I don't indulge." "FIRE!" "Rocinante!" "Couldn't you even wait for us to be properly cooked?" "Don't you touch him!" "We've got to get out of here!" "Everything's under control!" "Sorry, but I am too young to die!" "What's all this?" "Him!" "Him!" "Oh, my love, what have they done to you?" "If I don't get married tomorrow someone will have to compensate me." "Dumb's OK, but not a vegetable!" "Rocinante!" "My brave steed!" "What about me?" "Who's more important, me or some stupid horse?" "Queen of my days and princess of my nights" "I..." "I have... maybe we should wait a bit." "This wedding..." "Enough with these childish pranks!" "What are you two waiting for?" "Sorry?" "Why wait until tomorrow with such a magnificent full moon." "It isn't quite a full yet..." "Who cares?" "Why not get married right now?" "Al Disi..." "Dulcinea!" "Do you take Quixote to be..." "YES!" "And you Quixote, do you take this beautiful lady to be lawfully wedded wife?" "This isn't the way I imagined it." "Did you understand the question, Quixote?" "I..." "Well, I..." "No!" "No!" "Sancho?" "Governor of..." "There'll be no wedding, Quixote!" "I lied to you!" "I never saw Dulcinea all that time ago." "I looked right enough, day and night, day after day for you, for my best, for my only friend" "but the truth is, she doesn't exist." "Then this lady..." "Ha, lady?" "Some jumping midget comes along and says I'm not your Dulcinea and you believe him?" "I invented it all!" "And this one's just another invention!" "Try inventing these, buster!" "This is a real woman!" "Come along my dear!" "Better luck next time!" "Yes, my love!" "Rucio, I hope your insurance covers it." "I never thought I'd be so glad to see you." "James!" "James!" "Wake up!" "This isn't funny!" "Too late!" "James!" "No, you ought to be happy." "We're going home!" "You know," "I am not sure about anything anymore." "Rocinante!" "That way to the village!" "Teresa will be hopping mad, but at least we'll get something to eat." "After all, Barcelona is a long way and it'll just be more of the same, right?" "This is the end, Sancho." "It's over!" "All my life I've been a coward, run away from reality," "but you can't live on illusions." "A coward?" "You've lived a great life!" "Are you serious?" "I never met a braver man a man who dares to live as he feels and thinks with his heart." "At least Dulcinea was a beautiful illusion." "Dulcinea!" "So, home?" "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Come on!" ""The Great Duel"" "Quixote, that duel between you and the Knight of the Crescent moon wasn't it..." "Aha!" "Alone, face to face at dusk..." "That's right!" "Then, could you explain something to me..." "Well..." "Oh, look who is here." "Sir Peter Pan." "I'm not Peter Pan any more." "It'd never catch on!" "I've decided to be a Quixote again." "Sir Globus!" "Uh, me too!" "Tent, helmet, armor and one set of lances." "The sword is optional!" "Social security number?" "What's that?" "A photo ID?" "It's not my best, but..." "OK, in case of accident?" "Sancho!" "Sancho Pansa!" "6338456." "That's all!" "Sign here!" "Don Quixote, 163." "50 Euro crowns!" "But first!" "Where's my book?" "I'm gonna go broke!" "Well, this is the end of us!" "Never fear, Sancho!" "It's all going to work out just fine!" "The light," "I can already see the light!" "And... what are you planning to ride, exactly?" "Good question!" "I just saw some pretty good rental horses outside." "What about me?" "All right!" "Got the afternoon free!" "What do you say, Don?" "Can't you hear me?" "Hey?" "Hello?" "Maybe!" "Forget it!" "Why not?" "Yes!" "I've got it!" "Rucio shall be my steed!" "YES!" "Where's Rucio?" "Right here!" "There you are!" "Yes!" "Rucio!" "YES!" "Would you consider..." " YES!" "...to be my horse?" "Can't you understand a simple yes?" "That's right!" "Just finish me off!" "Don't take offence Quixote, but Rucio is only a donkey!" "Don't ruin it!" "This beast is showing great courage." "He's strong and resilient." "He's a surviver!" "Kneel Rucio!" "By the authority vested in me, by the sacred laws of chivalry," "I name thee Horse of the Highest Rank!" "It's the battle of the century!" "And remember the just, the true, the wining Quixote will have the honor to fight the Knight of the Crescent moon!" "Quixote 26 enters the arena!" "His opponent, Quixote 13, a roaring steed!" "Yeah, that's hurts!" "Let's pick up the pieces and move on, 'cause here comes Quixote 76!" "You know," "I'd fight in Quixote's place if they let me." "Bigger ball!" "Watch out!" "Holy cow!" "Forget I said that!" "Do we have our winner then?" "666, unbeatable!" "He'd better be!" "I intrigue thee, dispatch me to the Elysian Fields if cowardice I show." "I pray also for the knight Esplandian, son of Amadis and Oriana, here with me today." "Show him the way to courage and help free his soul from such cruel punishment." "Surely you're not gonna wear that old junk!" "It's my armor!" "It's for real out there Quixote, and this thing, well, I don't know what's up with it, but it's not good." "The spell will only be broken when the soul of this knight takes part in an act of courage." "Impossible!" "That's impossible!" "I believe in you!" "I suppose, they do need someone to pick up the helmets around here, donkey!" "Let go of me, I'm off into battle in a moment!" "I am Don Quixote's steed!" "You're going nowhere!" "You're a donkey!" "If your Quixote needs a horse, then he can rent us!" "That's what we're here for!" "Exactly!" "And it's no fun being granted on the beach!" "On the beach?" "On the bench!" "Let's go sir Rucio, it's time!" "What did just he call him?" "Sounded a bit of a put down to me!" "Look, who has come to see you!" "Can't we talk about this?" "Here's a deal!" "I'll just eat your legs that way your master doesn't get to take part in the joust." "I don't know anything, I'm retired!" "Rucio is Quixote's horse now and..." "What did you say?" "You want me to repeat it for you, pal?" "Hey, boss!" "James, you're alive!" "You're safe!" "Off, James!" "There's a good chicken." "Well, I'm going to lettuce hunt!" "Lion!" "Lion!" "Lion!" "Due to circumstances beyond our control we'll be passing directly to the semi-final!" "Peter Pan, Quixote 25!" "Remigio, Elias Globus, Quixote 26!" "Don Alanco Cihano, Quixote 163 and the last minute entry, Quixote 666." "The Golden Hatch!" "Well, at least we should be home for supper!" "Heil Caesar!" "What have I gotten in to?" "Remigio, loss!" "What?" "Me?" "And you hired this hopeless failure to get rid of Quixote?" "Don't worry!" "He's not in the final... yet!" "Alanco Cihano!" "What's this he's riding?" "This is ridiculous!" "I suppose you had to inherit something from me." "Alanco Cihano and his miniature charger, finalists!" "Not bad!" "Not bad!" "That's my boy!" "Incredible!" "The winner is Alanco Cihano!" "The one and only, Don Quixote!" "Damn the lot of you!" "And now, we give you the battle of the century, betwee the true, the one and only," "Don Quixote de la Mancha" "...and the Knight of the Crescent Moon!" "Sinister?" "I might have known!" "Must you always ruin things?" "Bachelor?" "What are you doing here?" "And dressed like that?" "Damn you Quixote!" "Ever since I was a child, I have been nothing." "I studied, I tried..." "oh, but in our village," "Don Quixote and Sancho Pansa are the only ones who count." "I tried to stop you when I put an early end to your first adventure!" "So, it was you!" "Just you wait!" "And now, I finally get a chance to be someone, a chance to be famous and you, you humiliate me in front of everybody?" "Come along, my friend!" "If you really want to be someone, someone important, why not become a knight?" "Maybe they'll write a book about you, too and you'll be immortalised for all eternity." "A knight, you say?" " He'd sign up for a course, at knight school." "Sorry, old chap, I gotta go." "I'm on again!" "You..." "There's everything to play for!" "May the best man win!" "Oh, no!" "This could be the end for Quixote!" "Careful!" "Watch it!" "Hang on!" "Forget it Quixote, it isn't worth it!" "To the bitter end!" "I know my destiny!" "And mine!" " Incredible!" "They're still standing after that!" "Bravo!" "All right!" "He did it!" "Yes!" "Go!" "I believe in you!" "Enough!" "Come here!" "Must still had a few old scores to settle!" "You win!" "I'm mad about Dulcinea, but she deserves the best and the bravest of knights." "I must renounce my love, for the sake of a... a pure love and what is best for her." "Renounce?" "Only the true Quixote would take honor and courage so far." "Only Quixote would renounce love for the sake of true pure love." "Which is why you are the winner." "The best among knights!" "For I am Dulcinea!" "Much like you," "I had to know if Quixote was real or just a figment of my imagination." "So, I set all this out!" "Can it be possible?" "Is this the..." "Is this... by the glory of the sacred laws of chivalry..." "Cut the crap!" "Bravo!" "Congratulations and all that!" "What about the treasure?" "Treasure?" "You know how much it cost to organize this?" "You made it!" "It was nothing!" "But you're a horse, a real horse!" "A horse?" "And of the best of breed!" "But your own, no less!" "All right, all right!" "Ok!" "Enough flattering, make way, give him some room, everybody back!" "Sancho, hasta la vista!" "We'll be together again soon my friend!" "Just don't come without the rent!" "What's that?" "Everything under control!" "Why does your friend want a lion?" "You haven't met his wife!" "And this, my friends is the true story of Don Quixote!" "Sancho returned home happily to Teresa and Rocinante went back to his dear, dusty barn to care for his beloved hens." "For taking care of Don!" "Did you see that?" "It's no surprise Quixote lived happily ever after with that adorable creature." "Of course," "I stayed with him too, I don't get paid much but he does understand me." "The End"