"I have sold a 100 million copies of my books, and you know why?" "The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?" "Do you believe there's one perfect person for everyone?" "I'm starting to." " Yeah?" " You brought protection, right?" "Are there like bears or something?" "So now what have we agreed?" "You and daddy were not on a break." "Very good." "I'll tell you what." "Call me when you grow up." "Don't expect that to happen any time soon!" " Anything you want from Lisbon?" " Just knowing you're there is enough." "When we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress." "That was after the wedding." "It's not bad luck then." "Honey, it isn't good luck." " Chandler." " Mom." "Thanks for wearing... something." "Nora Bing is really, really fun." "When they first called, the show was still new." "I heard about the divorce." "Lesbian, huh?" "Well, you know what they say:" "Be careful what you wish for." "I liked the kids." "I thought that they worked very well together." "They were very talented individually and also very talented as an ensemble." "Just because we're getting a divorce doesn't mean we don't love you." "It just means he would rather sleep with the houseboy than with me." "She'd come out of this marriage and been forced to find her own niche." "Now it's this bigger-than-life, Jackie Collins, having-a-great-time character out of one of her own books." "Nora Bing." "Which is something that her son is not thrilled with." "Occasionally, after I've been intimate with a man..." "Why would she say that's embarrassing?" "...I just get this craving for Kung Pao chicken." "That's too much information." "I love working in front of a live audience for comedy because they laugh." "They give you that feedback." "You're gonna be fine, believe me." "I think I was the first parent to kiss a friend." "I have been playing sort of aggressive vixens for most of my career so that's not so different." "Seeing me molesting young guys, you know, is also not quite so different." "You kissed my best Ross." "Or something to that effect." "My son catches me kissing Ross, but little did he know that in the original script we were doing a lot more." "I'm sorry, honey." "I promise it will never happen again." "Really, really stupid." "Really, really stupid." "She wanted Chandler to see her as a person and pleading with your child for acceptance of who you are and, "I promise I'll stay away from your friends."" "So you two were married, huh?" "I was thrilled that Kathleen was gonna play Charles because we've known each other around peripheries of the business but not ever worked together." "You look beautiful, Mom." "You look beautiful too, Dad." "Kathleen and I both, frequently, are cast for exactly the same purpose." "It's the sort of deep-voiced, sex-symbol, gravelly seductress." "Now you got two of them." " It's so great to see you both here." " Yes." "Although we may be seeing too much of some people." "Aren't you too old to wear a dress like that?" "Don't you have too much penis to wear a dress like that?" "The first time I got to say the penis line, that was really fun because everybody freaked, you know." "That was really fun." "You love to freak people." "Oh, my God." "Matthew is just so talented at those quick double takes and the kind of physical comedy that he does." "They're all very talented in their own unique, quirky ways and they've found quirks that work for their character." "But I always love working Matthew, because he gives you those double takes." "Just think, soon there will be lots of little Bings." "To get to work and do comedic parts with this talented a group of people is always a lot of fun." " Want to go get a drink?" " I can't." " Oh, you have some studying to do?" " No, I have some turning 21 to do." " Dr. Geller!" " Burt." "Elizabeth is a student." "And we're dating." "And you may frown upon that, but we're not gonna hide it anymore." "You are so fired." "Elizabeth is in college and I think she embodies like, a lot of college-age girls, kind of a carefree spirit." "This play tonight, it's excellent." "The director is..." " Who drank all the kamikazes?" " Nobody." "We put them in here!" "She doesn't take things too seriously, and she likes to have fun." "Everybody put their balloons down!" "David was a lot more serious than I thought he was going to be." "He's a really hard worker." "Ross?" "Elizabeth!" "That was actually a really nice surprise." "He really wanted to make sure that we rehearsed all the scenes and wants to make sure that everything is just right." "And I really appreciated that." "I really like you too." "But we can't date." "It's against the rules." "It's forbidden." "In the scene when he's telling me that we can't date because it's against the rules and I start kind of getting turned on by what he was saying it was so hard to keep a straight face, because he was so funny." " Wow." " What?" "Just hearing you describe it as "forbidden" it's really hot." "Really?" "I'm so embarrassed about that scene." "I can't watch it." "It makes me blush, with all my breathing and stuff." "It's taboo." "Shut the book." "Hey." "Let's also get a hot plate." "That was a particularly hard scene too especially because it's embarrassing to get all, like, hot and heavy like that." "Elizabeth's dad wants to meet me." "Wait a minute, hold the phone." "You're not Elizabeth's dad?" "My favorite memory of David from working on Friends was the day that he came and knocked on my dressing room door." "I was sitting there, and I opened the door and he was all excited." "And I was like, "What?" And he's like, "Did you hear?" "Did you hear who is playing your dad?" And I said, "No."" "He's like, "Bruce Willis!" "Can you believe it?" "He's gonna be here."" "Dad, this is Ross Geller." "It's great to meet you, Paul." "I prefer that Liz's boyfriends address me as Mr. Stevens." "Of course, Mr. Stevens." "So, Ross what's your problem?" "He was like a little kid who just found out, like, some amazing thing." "It was absolutely endearing." "And it was just so sweet, and it just made me, like, fall in love with David Schwimmer for being so excited over something like that." "So, what's your name?" "Tag Jones." "Uh-huh, go on." "That's it." "That's my whole name." "That's your whole name?" "Of course." "Rachel Green's office." "Tag?" "Hi, who was that?" "Nobody, I was just practicing." "You wrote that you have a cute tushy?" "Yes." "I have a weird sense of humor." "And I'm kind of strangely proud of my butt." "Tag Jones." "He was a naive 24." "He was so wide-eyed, and every little thing was cool." "I mean, the fact that he wound up getting a job, you know, I mean was the biggest thing." "You got the job." "You're my new assistant." " I am?" " Yeah!" " I can't believe it." " Me either." "I think Rachel took it easy on Tag." "I don't think Tag was hired for his résumé, per se." " What?" " It's just..." "It took me so long to get that desk organized." " I'm sorry." "There it is." "When I was cast, I knew that Tag was to be Rachel's assistant and it was possible that they would become an item." " I love having a girlfriend." " Really?" "Someone I can spoil, you know?" "Spoil?" "He's dating his boss, you know." "And I think Tag probably was like, "Hey, that's cool, man."" "Because he probably didn't know what was going on." "All right, he likes you back." "Told you you should go for it." "What?" "The first episode I did, I was staying out here with a friend of my cousin's because I was living in New York." "And it was probably Wednesday night or Thursday night before taping and David Schwimmer directed the first episode I did." "And I was sitting in the apartment that I was staying in." "I don't know what I was doing, but my phone rang and I picked it up and I hear, "Hey, dude, it's Schwim." "I know you're new in town and you don't know much." "Can I take you out to see what's going on?"" "So he..." "I mean that was highly unexpected and very cool." "Joey must have really taught you some stuff." "A little." "How you doing?" "I remember being in my dressing room and giving myself a pre-episode pep talk." "You know, "You can do this, you can do this."" "Psyching myself up, getting ready." "Breathe." "They say, "They're getting ready to start. " I walk out with all the confidence I can muster at that time, just trying not to trip." "Walk down, and right there is Sean Penn, Robin Wright Penn, and their children." "I walked right back up." "It was like, "Okay, he's not supposed to be here."" "Then I remember making my first entrance, knocking and it was like time slowed down." "The models are actually down the hall." "Jennifer's mouth was moving." "All I could think was:" ""The second that mouth stops, I have to say something."" "It's for human resources." "Everybody has to do it." "Would you stand up?" "Any response I got from a fan..." "They seemed excited." "They seemed excited by the relationship, by her new relationship, you know." "And I felt fortunate that I was that guy." "I mean, I can't lie to you." "You know what I mean?" "It was good to be that guy." "Please don't fire me for doing this." "That's one less thing we have to do on Monday." "On my tombstone will be, "That Guy from Friends. " You know what I mean?" "Literally." "You know." "I'll be 92 in my walker." ""You're that guy from Friends!"" "Santa!" " Yeah, you like that one?" " Yeah, you're funny." "I'm funny?" "Oh, thank God." "Our sex life..." "It's just not..." " Dad!" " Hey there, little fella!" "Why don't we get some shoes on you?" "Hey, why don't you show dad how you can put your shoes on in your room?" "My name is Cole Sprouse and I play Ben, David's son, or Ross' son." "Wow, thanks!" "You're welcome, Ben!" "Merry Christmas!" "And happy Hanukkah!" "Are you for Hanukkah too?" "Because I'm part Jewish." "You are?" "Me too." "Ben's character wasn't exactly like me, but kind of because he was kind of a prankster at times, and I'm always a prankster." "Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?" ""Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?"" " Don't do that." " "Don't do that."" " Your dad doesn't like pranks." " "Your dad doesn't like pranks."" " Oh, damn it." " "Oh, damn it!"" "No!" "Don't say that." "My favorite cast member to do scenes with is Jennifer, because she's hot!" " Hi, I'm Kathy." " Kathy, with a K or a C?" "With a K." "Can I borrow your apartment keys?" "Why?" "You can pee here." "I love this tushy." "Can I take it to work with me?" "Yeah, sure." "It's not mine anyway." "It came with the pants." "I got an audition and she says, "Oh, you're reading with Matthew Perry."" "And I think, "Oh yeah, sure, whatever, all right." "I don't care." "I'm cool."" "I go in, and Kevin Bright and Marta Kauffman and Matthew are there." "And I said, out loud..." "I walked in and I went:" ""Hey, all right, so clearly I'm your runty alternate, so let's get this over with."" "Is it on?" "No, but this wonder broom is amazing!" "Oh, my God!" "Later on, Matthew said, "The moment you called yourself a runt Kevin and I were like, 'She's the one.'"" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Yes, thank you!" "After I got the part, for the first two weeks of doing Friends I would hide in my room, because I kept thinking:" ""They're gonna figure me out and fire me." "They're gonna get one of those hot girls."" "That's what I like about Joey." "Any other guy would've been, " The English Patient is my favorite movie too."" "But Joey goes, "No way, let's get Die Hard." "I'm not watching that English crap."" "Yeah, he's dreamy." "I started going out with Joey." "Check it out!" "You can see that girl's underwear." "Is she great, or what?" "And then Chandler and I fell for each other." "Let me get this hair off your neck." "I would sneak out of Joey's room to watch Baywatch." " God!" "Is that Baywatch?" " Yes, but I just watch it for the articles." "And, you know, Chandler loved Baywatch, and we'd sit in the canoe." "And I wore this hockey jersey that Matthew Perry picked out and was very specific about, like:" ""This is the sexy hockey jersey, so she has to wear that."" "Here we go, little fella." "What about the duck?" "The duck can swim." "I kind of cheated on Joey." "It was just..." "I was an immoral..." "I was a hussy!" "She's the star of the play, and she is my girlfriend." "I get to have sex with the star of the play." " People can hear you." " I know!" "And then I turned into slutty Kathy." " Is that an expensive blouse?" " Lf you want it to be." "Here's your girlfriend's button." "Because I cheated on Chandler, kind of we were on a break, I don't know, with Nick a guy I was doing a play with." "I loved the play." "You were great." "And Nick, ditto." "Clearly you're having sex with him." "Shooting that show that week, during rehearsals finding out my character cheated on him was a bummer." "I don't want to cheat on him." "I wanted to stay." "But the girls fought for me." " She wasn't sleeping with him." " Good!" "She is now." "Courtney and Lisa and Jennifer talked to the producers, saying:" ""You can't do this." "Don't make her cheat." "She can go on the road with the play, but Kathy can't cheat on Chandler."" "So these girls, these incredible actresses are fighting to keep me around, and I thought I was gonna cry." "I think this could have been something really amazing." "But, you know, this is probably for the best." "You know?" "I'm gonna miss you." "Goodbye, Chandler." "I was just so lucky, so incredibly lucky to have been given that part and been able to work with those guys because I learned, probably, more about sitcom acting and how to be a good person from those guys than I have in years since combined." "Everybody on that set seemed to really enjoy what they were doing." "Everybody seemed to treat..." "I can say more than "seemed."" "Everybody treated each other with respect." "And so it just created an atmosphere of, "Holy cow, we love what we're doing."" "It's just a really easy show to shine on, I think." "They make it really easy for actors to do that." "And so I really appreciate that." "It was a really wonderful experience." "The stars are very talented individually, but they're also very talented together." "That's what makes comedy work." "Comedy is about a team." "I'd like to thank Friends for letting me do this." "It's been cool."