"* There's an angel on my left. *" "* But the devil's on my right. *" "* I've been boxing shadows. *" "* I tried to put up a fight. *" "* So, brother, will you meet me in the middle * * so I can make it to the end?" "*" "* It's not my first second chance, * * but, at this point, who's counting, my friend?" "*" "* It better be some kind of heaven. *" "* There better be some kind * * of carnival in the sky * * at the end of this ride. *" "Excuse you." "Hey, excuse me." "Hey, sir, you just bumped into me." "Fuckin' rude motherfucker." "* So, brother, will you meet me in the middle * * so I can make it to the end?" "*" "* It's not my first second chance, * * but, at this point, who's counting, my friend?" "*" "* It better be some kind of heaven. *" "* There better be some kind * * of carnival in the sky * * at the end of this ride. *" "Swanson, 95-G4-620." "Dorothy Washington, house manager." "Come on in." "Most everyone's at work, but this house fills up real good around 7:00, 8:00 at night." "Your box came yesterday." "Show me your release sheet, and then we'll get you a room." "Ladies, this here is Sherry Swanson." "Hey." "Hi." "You got some privacy, but we don't lock bedroom doors." "This is for the locker where you store all your valuables, in the corner, there." "You get your house keys after 30 days with no write-ups:" "no infractions of our house rules, do your chores, all that." "I'm sure you'll be fine, honey." "Yeah." "Get the phone!" "Do you like the blue ones, the green ones?" "The pink ones." "What size are you?" "Bobby?" "Hello?" "Hey, it's Sherry." "Sherry, is that you?" "Yeah, what's up?" "Listen, I got to wrap it up." "Want a cigarette?" "Yeah, okay, um... that's cool." "Tell everybody I said hi." "Yeah, I will." "Kiss my baby for me." "Kiss Lexi for me." "Tell her I'm coming." "What time are you coming tomorrow?" "After lunch." "Listen, I got to run." "Cool, peace." "Blanquita." "Blanquita, you think you're too good for us?" "Destiny, chill out." "The girl just got her release." "Parole office." "Could I talk to PO Hernandez?" "Who's calling?" "Swanson." "Parole number?" "95-G4-620." "No crossing state lines without permission from this office." "Any change in residence must be reported in writing." "Do you understand the conditions of your parole, Ms. Swanson?" "Mm-hmm." "Here's the rest of your commissary." "Count it out in front of me." "Sign the receipt." "Make sure it's all there." "On each and every reporting day, you will submit your pay stubs along with this form." "Make sure the form is filled out correctly." "Can I smoke in here?" "Get a job as soon as possible." "Otherwise, I have to see you three times a week, and, frankly, I don't have the time for that right now." "Could I ask you about something now, or..." "Um, this--this curfew thing?" "I just, um" "I would like to spend the night at my family's house, at my brother's house." "I haven't seen them for a long time." "I thought you had no problems, Swanson." "Yeah." "Any unreported police contact will result in the immediate violation of your parole, and I will violate you." "You will be returned to prison to serve the remainder of your sentence, plus any new charges you may incur." "Monday at 9:00 a. m. , you report to Mr. Monroe at 1138 Clifford Street." "Please give me a pass." "Are you trying to fuck with me, Swanson?" "Or are you here to successfully complete your parole?" "To successfully complete my parole, sir." "I just really" "I have to see my daughter." "I haven't seen her in a long time." "Your brother's name and address, what is it?" "Robert Swanson." "1334 Ridge Drive." "Slow down." "One... 334 Ridge Drive." "Mountainside, New Jersey." "Come on, there's nothing to see here." "Come on, keep moving." "Keep moving." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Dump it." "Yo, bitch, why do you-- I told you," "I ain't coming up off that rock for free." "I'll see you later." "Good luck tomorrow, okay?" "Thanks, Andy." "Thanks for helping me out." "How do you do?" "Hey." "I'm Andy Kelly." "I'm the director of this program." "Oh, hey, I'm Sherry." "I just got here." "Nice to meet you-- Sherry Swanson." "Yeah." "Right, I processed your intake." "Oh." "Welcome to Genesis House." "Thanks." "Is that your Bible?" "Yeah, as a matter of fact, it is." "Well, you know what you should do?" "Take a look at this one." "What's laid out in the first 164 pages of this book gram for life." "It's a program of change that'll spin your head around and make you happier than you ever were when you were on drugs and alcohol." "I know all about it." "I did a year of 12-step when I was locked up." "Really?" "I, um..." "I like the Good Book better." "Gotcha." "Do you want some coffee?" "Yeah." "Please." "Oh." "Oh, stop." "Stop, stop." "Damn." "I could go all night." "Look at this." "My friend shaved it." "You want to kiss it?" "Come on, baby." "Come on, kiss it." "Okay." "You have a visitor." "Okay." "Oh, shit." "Put some meat on your bones." "Yeah." "I missed you." "You should have come see me." "Okay, let's get the fuck out of here." "It's all pretty much the same." "The only thing different is we got a new table." "Well, I guess Lynette redecorated the living room." "We got Alexis a new bed." "She didn't want to get rid of her little baby bed." "But you'll see;" "everything's the same." "It'll be like you never left." "Did you hear Chris Cuzar died?" "How am I supposed to hear that?" "I don't know who you talk to." "Nobody." "I don't talk to nobody, Bob." "How'd he die, from the dope?" "Yep." "Shit, do you have a cigarette?" "Nope, I quit." "Fuck you." "Look at the little mermaid." "Don't go too far." "Come back here." "Get over here." "Munchkin." "Hey, girls." "Hey, hon." "Lynnie." "Hi, Sherry." "Welcome home." "Hi." "You're here, wow." "Not going to hug you-- I'm wet." "You remember Sherry, Lexi?" "Mommy?" "Hi." "I'm going to clean the pool." "It's dirty." "Hey, baby." "Oh, you want to hug me?" "Yeah?" "Oh, baby." "Oh, baby." "Oh, Lexi, I'm so sorry." "I'm so sorry, baby." "I missed you so much." "Where were you?" "Mommy, Mommy," "Mommy, Mommy." "Damn, girl, you got heavy." "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." "Don't jump on the couch, sweetie." "Sit down, baby." "Let me put on your robe." "Arm." "You want to see your presents, baby?" "What are you doing, silly goose?" "Okay, look at this one." "Look at that." "I picked that for you." "Eeee." "I like that." "I think that's cute." "Okay, look at that." "I already got that stuff." "You do?" "Okay, whatever." "A Barbie." "Yeah, you like Barbie?" "She's so pretty." "You do?" "Oh, can I kiss her too?" "smooch!" "Okay, now this present is the most special one, that's behind my back." "This one is from my best friend." "She made it." "She made it all by herself for you." "Red, red, red." "Ohh." "I like it." "You like it?" "Uh-huh." "You do?" "Uh-huh." "Oh, I love you, Lexi." "You want Mommy to tell you the story now of what happened to me?" "Mm-hmm." "Yeah?" "Look, honey, come here." "I want to tell you the truth, okay?" "Okay?" "And sometimes it's not easy to tell the truth;" "you know what I mean?" "Mm-hmm." "I did a bad thing, and they sent me to jail." "Do you know what that is?" "What bad thing?" "I stole from people to get money for drugs." "Mm-hmm." "Oh, baby, come here." "Oh, honey, I missed you so, so, so, so much." "I used to talk to you." "Did you hear me?" "Mm-mm." "No?" "Lord, please, please, please, please, please hear my extra prayer tonight." "y weaknesses and my mistakes." "Give me the strength to take life one day at a time and take care of my daughter again, amen." "Three years in Clinton, huh?" "Well, there's the Del Monte plant in Irvington, just started hiring new people." "Actually, I would like to work with kids." "Kids?" "Yes, I graduated the Parenting From the Inside program, and I worked 13 months in the family trailers and 6 in the children's center." "So I'd like to work in a Head Start or a day care or something like that." "Uh-huh." "Also, I have a child." "Swanson, you're a young, pretty girl." "If you don't want to work in the factory, you know, maybe you could wait tables, cocktail-- oh, no, no, no, no, not--not with..." "Hmm." "Wait, I, um..." "I have some papers." "This is from the parenting program." "Okay." "This one is from the children's center." "Okay." "And..." "And... and what?" "Nice." "I'll suck your dick if you give me the job I want." "The fuck you looking at? God, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." "Tonight Dean will be reading the preamble." "My name's Dean." "I'm an alcoholic and an addict." "Hi, Dean." "Genesis Recovery is a fellowship of men and women o share their experience, strength, and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism and drug addiction." "Is there anyone here tonight that feels the need to drink or use?" "Go ahead, little sister." "Don't be shy." "Um, I'm Sherry." "I'm an addict." "Hi, Sherry." "Um, I've got 2 1/2 years clean." "I got clean in prison, and..." "I feel like using so bad." "From the age of 16 to 22, heroin was the love of my life." "I mean, I had a daughter, and I never even took care of her, and I want to take care of her, but I got to... stay clean, so I'm just here to stay clean and..." "That's all I got." "Hey, Sherry." "Hey." "Listen, don't worry about your problems." "I mean, you're not alone." "Like, me, I could completely relate to what you were saying, because I come from a dysfunctional, alcoholic family." "And drugs were part of my entire teenage life." "When I was growing up," "I knew we weren't supposed to be doing drugs, but everyone was doing them anyway, so I just-- I just fell into that, you know?" "She's not hearing you, friend." "She's got too much on her mind." "Do you need a ride home?" "Okay, thanks." "He's right, Andy." "I'm sorry." "I'll catch up with you tomorrow." "Sherry, did you ever work at Tony Martino's joint, the Paradise?" "I used to cook speed in a warehouse over at South Kearny." "Tony was one of my partners." "What's your name again?" "Dean Walker." "Dean Walker?" "I don't know you." "Man, I was, like, 16 when I worked there, I think." "Tony named me Lolita." "That was my stage name because I was so young, Lolita." "I had really long hair." "Yeah, I remember." "You do?" "You know they closed that place down." "Why, too many underage girls? No, it all came down when Richardson got into office." "Tony lost all his juice." "Where's he at, anyways?" "Greenhaven." "He got busted making a big move in the city last year." "They gave him 15 to life." "15 to life." "Damn, that's deep." "He probably deserved it, though, right?" "Ugh!" "Do you know Richie Parks?" "Richie Parks." "No, I don't know him." "Who's that?" "He's another lowlife scumbag." "He's also my baby's daddy." "He broke out a while ago." "I don't know if he's alive or dead." "Do you have kids?" "Oh, yeah." "I got three boys and two girls." "They all live in Oklahoma with their mamas." "Hmm." "Do you take care of them?" "Oh, yeah, I do now." "So far away." "Yeah." "Okay, thanks, man." "Good night, little sister." "And you take care, all right?" "And be careful." "Bye." "I love you too." "All right." "Okay, bye." "What's up?" "Some fucking real-life bullshit I had to deal with today." "Are you done with the phone?" "Yeah, go ahead." "I forgot how it gets, you know." "Here I was, thinking prison was the worst;" "this was gonna be, like, some kind of heaven, but it ain't, you know?" "I heard that." "That job shit got me tight." "You all right?" "Good looking out, girl." "Ain't no thing." "What are you looking at?" "Damn, white girl, you are always on the phone." "¿Estás sorda?" "Hey, Lynette." "Hi." "How are you?" "It's Sherry." "Is Bobby there?" "Don't you hear me?" "Ah-- hey, Bobby, what's up?" "It's Sherry, yeah." "How you doing?" "Yeah?" "Cool." "Listen, I called to talk to Alexis, actually." "Is she there?" "Why, you think you're something special?" "What?" "She's sleeping?" "Wait." "Hold on a second." "Get out of my face." "Bitch." "Uh..." "Okay, well," "I'm gonna call back tomorrow, then, early, because I really want to talk to her, okay?" "Okay." "Okay, Bobby." "Bye." "Have you got a problem with me?" "Yeah, I've got a problem with you, bitch." "You jealous of me or something?" "Your mother's a bitch." "Oh, my mother's a bitch?" "My mother's dead, you fucking stupid crackhead." "But you turned out good." "Look at you." "Your daddy's a fucking baby raper." "Get the" "Fuck you, you fucking cunt!" "I'll call the cops!" "Do you hear me?" "Fuck you, you fucking toothless cunt!" "Fuck you, puta!" "Now that you've both been fucked, you should feel better." "I'm telling you, bitch, you don't fuck with me, because I will hurt you." "Go to your rooms, now, or I'm calling 911." "Go." "Sherry, wake up." "Oh." "What's going on?" "Sorry." "Sorry to show up like this." "Bob." "Yes, hon?" "Your sister's here." "Hey." "Hey." "What are you doing here?" "Mommy!" "Hey." "Oh." "Hey, Lexi." "How you doing, kiddo?" "Why do you have a garbage bag?" "A garbage bag?" "Okay, come on." "Let's finish getting ready for camp." "I can't stay at that place." "It's like being in prison all over again." "I know." "I know." "I hear you." "Mm." "But don't you have to stay there?" "No." "I can live wherever I want." "I just have a curfew." "You take sugar?" "No." "Milk?" "No, thanks." "So, Bobby," "I'm not asking to move in here." "Okay?" "But I do need to stay here for a little while." "Two weeks." "If I stay at that place," "I'm gonna violate." "I can feel it." "Okay." "Okay." "No drugs in this house, Sherry." "You bring drugs in here, and I'm going to call the cops." "Bobby, how many times do I got to tell you this?" "I'm clean." "Okay." "Promise?" "Hey, my baby." "I'm going to camp now, Sherry." ""Sherry"?" "You want to give your mama a kiss?" "I think you do." "Alexis." "An Eskimo kiss?" "You're gonna be late for camp." "You remember what that one is?" "smooch!" "You have a good day, baby." "Mm-hm." "Okay." "Bye, Alexis." "Have a good day, okay?" "Bye, baby." "Oh, yeah, here's your lunch." "Bye, Sherry." "What the fuck was that?" "What?" "She just called me Sherry." "Yeah." "Me and Lynette were trying to talk to you about that the last time you were here." "You want to help me with these boxes?" "Yeah, babe." "I'll be right back." "Oh, yeah, whatever." "I'm her-- I'm her fucking mother." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." "You want one?" "Sure." "Thanks." "You don't think these pants are too tight, do you?" "Turn around." "Let me see you." "No, you got a good figure." "You look cute." "You think Lexi's gonna get my body?" "I don't know." "I do." "That girl is going to be tall and skinny." "Watch." "I'm gonna look out for her." "Want me to do your makeup later?" "Would you?" "Sure." "Just let me finish this first." "I'm going to do your eyes purple to match your pants, okay?" "And I'll give it to you when I'm done, so you can have it." "I never got a professional makeup job before." "Thank you." "You know, every Friday night in my cell, we'd have ladies' night." "We'd put on face masks and wear lingerie and stuff like that." "Lingerie in jail." "You're really nuts." "That's what happens when you got to wear state clothes every day." "You didn't go with any girls, did you?" "No." "Some girls in there tried to get with me, but I told them what time it was." "Daddy." "Sherry Anne." "What's that?" "Hi." "How are you?" "Well, we got into some traffic." "Hey, Marcia." "Hey, how you doing?" "Good." "Don't cry." "You'll make me cry." "Oh." "Come on, stop it." "It's okay." "We should have taken 22, and..." "I missed you so much." "I missed you too." "Come on, say hi to my wife." "Look at my makeup." "It's real pretty." "Yeah, we took 78, and" "Remember Marcia?" "Hi." "Hi." "Bob." "Hey, Dad." "You really got to clean out those gutters, you know?" "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know." "This ought to help you out." "You know, Dad, you don't have to give me money." "Grandpa's here." "Oh, there she is." "Oh, Lexi." "There's my precious little girl." "Here, honey." "This is for you." "Can I just fix this?" "Dad." "Oh, this is hot." "Attagirl." "Look at you and Grandpa." "What do you say, Alexis?" "Thank you, Grandma." "You're welcome." "Hey, Dad." "Hey, Dad." "Dad, look at how much we look alike now that she's got bigger." "Look at that." "She's beautiful, isn't she?" "What do you got there?" "Dad." "Dad, there's a-- I want to show you something." "Daddy." "Come on." "I want to show you something." "Come on." "Let's go see what Sherry wants." "I got my GED." "Okeydoke." "Okeydoke." "I want to show you." "I want to welcome home my baby," "Sherry Anne." "Welcome home, Sher." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Cheers." "I want soda." "Milk first." "Then you'll get your soda." "Hey, Lynnie, this sure looks good." "Did you help with this?" "No." "So how's the Caddy holding up, Dad?" "Eat your burger first." "It's the perfect piece of machinery." "You know, you've had that car so long," "I don't think it's safe for you to drive it down to Florida this year." "I don't think so either." "You need a new car, Dad." "Now?" "Okay." "I swear, she's hooked on the Disney Channel." "Did you see that email" "Marty sent around?" "Bobby, that's disgusting." "We're eating here." "They're going to start charging for emails, you know." "Alexis, come eat more of your burger." "That's what I keep saying, you know." "That Marty, he's a real piece of work." "I don't know where he finds that stuff, but he does." "Come on, pass me that potato salad." "There you go." "I don't want to waste room on salad." "Yeah?" "You do?" "Yeah." "Okay, Alexis wants to hear me sing for you all." "Spare us, Sher." "We don't want to break any glasses." "Alexis." "* Close your eyes. * your hand, * * darling. *" "* Do you feel my heart beating?" "*" "* Do you understand?" "*" "* Do you feel * * the same, * * or am I only * * dreaming?" "*" "* Or is * his burning an eternal flame?" "*" "* I believe * * we're meant to be, * * darling. *" "* I watched you when you were sleeping. *" "* You belong with me. *" "* Do you feel the same, * * or am I only dreaming?" "*" "* Or is * * this burning an eternal flame?" "*" "That was good, Sher." "Should have gone onAmerican Idol." "You'd probably win." "Don't be a wise guy." "Sherry's a good singer." "Beautiful, baby." "Okay, I'm going to get some more wine." "Come on, baby bear." "I'm putting him in." "I'm putting him in." "I think this looks good like that." "Can I come in yet?" "Nope." "Is that good?" "Yeah, that's good." "This can be your baby." "And this can be mine." "What's your baby's name?" "My baby... um... my baby is named Alexis." "No!" "What do you mean, "no"?" "This is pretend, and you have to pick a new name." "Why?" "Because." "But Alexis is my favorite name." "No." "Besides, there could be two Alexises." "Well, okay." "You can call her that, but then my baby's name can be Sherry." "Two Alexises and two Sherrys." "Two Alexises..." "And two Sherrys." "Ah!" "Mm-mm." "In the fort, in here." "Let's go." "Okay." "Should I take this Sherry?" "Lynnie told me to call you Sherry, not Mommy." "Yeah, I figured." "Squeak, squeak, squeak." "When you come and live with me, you can call me Momm" "Alexis, Grandma Mary's here to see you." "Grandma Mary." "No, baby." "She's waiting." "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go." "Hi, Grandma." "You are confusing her with this Sherry bullshit." "I'm confusing her?" "I don't think so." "She was fine until you showed up again." "I'm her mother." "Well, act like one." "What, are you fucking jealous?" "You want to--you're gonna curse in front of her?" "You want to see my stretch marks, Lyn?" "Don't be disgusting." "Check this out." "You want to check this out?" "It's just too many people in a house." "I told you, you can't just keep sleeping on the floor like that." "You should be on my side." "Here, you need some cash?" "Daddy, gave me some cash." "Sherry, here." "I'm your fucking sister." "Shit!" "I'll just wait out here, make sure you get a room." "Dean, hey, it's Sherry," "Tony Martino's girl." "Yeah." "Yeah, I met you at Genesis Recovery, remember?" "I was just, um... uh..." "Well, I was just calling because I was" "I was..." "I was wondering if, um-- what you were doing." "Who's there?" "Dean." "Greetings." "Damn, you got here late." "Oh, no." "Damn." "You like my hair?" "Yeah, it ain't bad." "Ooh, look at that." "Mm-hmm." "Mmm." "Looking good, little Lolita." "Don't call me that." "You got to stop drinking that poison." "Did you ever see me dance?" "Oh, yeah." "Are you going to dance for me tonight?" "No." "I gave that shit up." "Good little girl." "Doesn't dance for anybody anymore." "You had any police contact this weekend, Swanson?" "No, but I called-- On the wall!" "Get your hands on the wall now!" "I told you I was going to my brother's house." "I called you." "I left you a-- you didn't get my message?" "Shut up!" "What the fuck?" "You can stay where you want, but you will go through the proper channels." "Spread 'em." "Kick your shoes off;" "let's go." "Kick them off." "Kick them off." "Spread 'em out." "Come on;" "let's go." "You've done this before." "Pat her down." "Keep that chest pressed against the wall." "You think just because you can send me back to prison, you're strong?" "Control yourself." "I'm strong." "Shut up." "Stand up straight." "Right foot up." "Right foot up." "Right foot up." "You are fucking with the wrong one today." "Put your right foot up." "Get your foot up!" "Left foot up." "Left food up." "Spread 'em." "Officer." "I could violate your ass right now, send you back to prison for two more years." "Is that what you want?" "But a job came through for you, and I'm going to let you take it." "Top of your head." "Look away." "Listen, I'm going to do good." "Just--just be quiet." "I graduated a lot of programs when I was in prison." "Look, shut up." "Put your shoes back on." "It's a Catholic Charities youth organization, summer program over on Irvine Turner." "Monroe somehow convinced them that you'd been rehabilitated." "Here's the address." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Everybody in line?" "Everybody ready?" "I want to see if you guys are tough." "All right." "Okay, come on." "Let's see what you got." "Good, good." "Okay, end of the line." "What's your name?" "Zak." "Okay, Zak, let's see what you got." "Uh-huh, uh-huh, but this is what you got to do." "You got to bend your knees, see?" "And you got to follow through." "Okay, let's see." "Follow through." "Good, good." "You are a little badass." "One more." "Ow!" "Ow, he's strong." "He's--how about you?" "What have you got?" "You got to show me a little harder." "I want to see that power you got." "Good." "Yeah, you know what you're doing." "You got to bend your knees." "You got to focus, Chastity." "You got to focus." "You got to focus." "Yeah, what's your name?" "Russel." "That's good, Russel." "One more, Russel." "You got one more." "Good, good, good." "All right, I know your name." "Let's see" "Okay." "We can't play this game anymore." "Let's play another game." "Let's play z" "Okay, who told me they wanted to be a dinosaur?" "What's up?" "What are you doing here?" "I just came by to say hey." "Uh..." "I'm kind of busy right now." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "You got a broad in there?" "I fucking thought you liked me, man." "I do like you." "Hey, no, wait, wait, wait." "From a bank robbery at 1091 3rd Avenue." "A male black about 6 feet tall with one eye, wearing a white do-rag under a yellow hard hat." "The direction?" "It's heading..." "All right, come back in 20 minutes, all right?" "Yeah, okay." "Okay!" "20 minutes." "So what's her name?" "Where does she live?" "Why should I tell you, so you can hunt her down and beat her ass?" "No, I'm not going back to prison, Dean." "I just want to know who this bitch is you'd rather be fucking than me." "No way you want to go down that road." "Oh, yeah, tell me more." "I be you wouldn't like it if I started fucking Andy Kelly." "It wouldn't matter to me." "Oh, no?" "Fucking figures." "At least he knows how to eat pussy." "What was that?" "I didn't hear you." "Nothing." "Shit." "I'm sorry." "I'm such a piece of shit sometimes." "I can't control myself." "Nobody owns anybody." "The state of New Jersey owns my ass." "I miss my friend, man." "Crusher." "She always had my back." "Well, I can be your friend." "It's not about that." "What are you cooking?" "Venison stew." "What's that?" "It's deer meat." "Mmm." "I never ate Bambi before." "Well, actually, it isn't Bambi." "It's Bambi's daddy." "Ooh, yeah?" "Bambi's daddy, that's pretty funny." "Bobby, hey, what's up?" "Yeah?" "I had my first day of work today." "It was cool." "Made me think of my baby." "Is she there?" "I really want to talk to her." "Why do you always got to tell me the same shit, Bobby?" "I know she's there." "I know she's fucking awake." "It's 7:30." "What about her birthday?" "You guys have anything planned?" "Oh, yeah, I will-- I will be there." "* Yeah, we do!" "* Okay, at this next block, turn left." "Yes, ma'am." "It's the third house on the left." "You grew up there?" "Yup." "That's fancy." "I guess." "You want to come in and meet my family?" "No, no, you go and enjoy your daughter." "Call me when you're ready to be picked up." "All right, I'll see you later." "Bye-bye." "Hello! Hey, wait." "Dean!" "Dean, wait!" "Wait!" "Wait! Those fuckers aren't home." "What do you want to do?" "Um..." "Let's go to my dad's house." "Maybe they're there." "You're late." "We just finished the cake." "Well, maybe if you'd told me where the party was at-- hold on one second." "Hey, Alexis, I think you have more presents to open." "Don't push me." "Hi, Alexis." "Alexis, hey." "Happy birthday, baby." "Happy birthday." "Happy, happy, happy birthday." "Sherry brought you some presents." "What do you say?" "Thanks." "Here you go, babe." "Can I open it?" "Go ahead; open it." "Open all of them." "Open them." "I want to open one." "Oh, look at this." "You're going to look just like a ballerina." "Sherry Anne." "Welcome." "Can I get you a drink?" "Yeah, thanks." "Number two." "I don't want to play anymore!" "Look at it." "Look at the front, though." "Candy lipstick." "And this is special gum." "Special gum?" "Yeah, but it's inside." "So much candy." "You want to open it?" "Game Boy." "You have one of those already, sweetie." "You do?" "I could take it back." "If you want to, I'll find you something else." "No." "I want two Game Boys." "You can't have two;" "that's silly." "You can have whatever you want, baby." "Lookit." "You got finger paints." "No!" "That's my present!" "It's mine." "No fair." "It's my present." "Yes, honey." "Alexis." "It's your present." "Nobody is going to take it away from you." "What happened?" "What's going on?" "Let's go, guys." "Let's go downstairs and play musical chairs." "Let's go, everybody." "I think they need some time out." "You come too." "Here we go, everybody." "We're all coming." "What a mess, huh?" "Whoo!" "Okay, not fair." "You all right?" "Dad," "I feel like" "I don't know what to do." "I feel like they're taking her away from me." "What are you talking about? Bobby and Lynette, they love you a whole lot." "I love you." "Dad, she won't even talk to me." "You should have seen her when I first came back." "She was playing with me." "She was hugging me." "She was calling me Mommy." "They told her not to call me Mommy anymore." "Can you believe that shit?" "Sherry, just give them some time to get used to you again." "Come on." "I know, but..." "Come on." "Just give it a little time, honey." "What?" "Sherry, what? Baby, you got that taste?" "Keep you coming back." "It works if you work it." "It won't if you don't." "What happened to you?" "I walked home, man." "You're also fucked up." "Come on;" "let's go clean you up." "Hey, lay off the goods, man." "I can walk." "Well, then, let's walk." "Can I come in?" "Yeah." "Come on;" "get undressed." "You are a real, live Injun, Dean." "I bet you're a good dad." "It's too bad your kids never get to see you." "I'm--I'm going this winter." "Want to go with me?" "One day at a time, right?" "Hey." "Lazy lady." "Come on, sleepy, get up." "Wake up." "I was dreaming so much." "I want my baby back, Dean." "I want Alexis." "You know, if you stop talking so much about what you want, stop being so selfish, maybe what you want will come to you on its own." "Okay." "I'm just mad 'cause I suck." "Shit." "Dean?" "Yeah?" "Do you have a long-sleeved shirt or something I could borrow?" "I can't go out like this." "* Wayp in the sky. *" "* Way up in the sky. *" "* The mama bird flies. *" "* The mama bird flies. *" "* While down in the nest. *" "* While down in the nest. *" "* The baby birds rest. *" "* The baby birds rest. * * wing on the left. *" "* With a wing on the left. *" "* And a... * * wing on the right. *" "* And a wing on the right. *" "* The baby bird sleeps. *" "* The baby bird sleeps. *" "* All through the night. *" "* All through the night. *" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Baby bird." "They're sleeping." "How was work today?" "How'd you get in here?" "I'm the one who asks the questions." "I don't answer." "Fuck me, snoopy." "You got to give me a break." "You look terrible." "Yeah." "What's going on?" "I'm going to tell you the truth." "I'm in trouble." "I'm dirty." "You want to get clean?" "You want inpatient?" "No, I want outpatient." "Or prison." "No, because I have to keep this job." "This job is the only thing that I haven't" "Please, please, let me keep this job." "It's inpatient or prison." "Hello." "Yeah, I got my PO here." "Can I call you back?" "Please, please, please, please, please." "I lost my daughter." "I lost her." "I don't know--there's no other way I can get her back." "Inpatient or prison;" "your choice." "Ugh!" "You know, I don't get you." "You want to get clean." "You don't want to do the work." "You want your daughter, but you don't want to do the work." "I wish it could be some other way, but at this point, you do not qualify for outpatient." "Take the weekend." "Say good-bye to your family." "Report to me Monday morning at 8:00 a. m. , and I will take you down." "If I don't see you, I will issue a warrant for your arrest." "You're probably not going to believe this, but I think about you all the time." "You're my sister." "I never forgot you." "You snaked me with that bitch, Bobby." "I can't trust you." "I want you to get to know your daughter, Sherry." "I really do." "But you got to put yourself in our shoes." "Lynette loves that little girl like she was her own, and to tell you the truth," "I do too." "leave mine alone?" "We've been taking care of her." "You think that's easy?" "And we are going to have our own kid, maybe even two, but we've been taking care of Alexis because of you, remember?" "I know." "I know." "I fucked up." "I always fuck up." "I know what you've been through." "Don't think I don't know what you've been through." "What's that mean?" "It means I'm on your side." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "It means I'm on your side, okay?" "I'm on your fucking side." "So will you let me take her out alone, just me and her, so she's not scared of me anymore?" "Okay." "Okay, but no sleepovers, okay?" "One step at a time, okay?" "You love me?" "Yes, I love you." "I know." "No!" "Alexis." "Oh, hi." "Hey." "Hi." "Alexis, go put on your shoes." "Sherry's here to take you." "I'll go get her ready." "I hope you're happy, because nobody else is." "Excuse me." "Come on, put your shoesies on, okay?" "And you should like..." "Hey, Lexi." "What is it, baby?" "I don't want to go, Bobby." "It's okay, sweetie." "You're going to have a fun day with your mother." "Why, baby?" "You scared?" "You can tell Mama." "Let's pack her green shirt too, just in case she gets dirty." "Okay." "I got it." "Alexis, let's put your backpack on." "Come on, sweetie, please." "I don't want to go, Bobby." "Sweetie, come on;" "it's going to be fun." "Here, I'll carry you out, okay?" "Don't forget this." "You look so pretty in this." "Oh, what a big girl." "Come here;" "let me put this on you." "Keep your hair out of your face." "I'll see you later, okay, and make some cheeseburgers for supper, okay?" "Okay, have fun." "Bye, Lyn." "Okay." "You're gonna have a fun day, okay?" "Remember what I told you?" "You're gonna have fun." "Can you get the door?" "It's going to be a good time;" "I promise, okay?" "Come on, let go." "Let go, baby." "Okay." "No, no, no, no, put it in the front seat." "Sherry, it needs to go in the back; that's the law." "Always in the back, okay?" "Come here, sweetie." "Come on, please." "Come on." "Here we go." "Put your legs down." "Just like our car." "I don't want to go, Bobby." "Okay, but see, this is the day that you get to know Sherry better, okay?" "Okay?" "Okay." "I don't want to go." "You don't want to go?" "Well, listen to me." "You're going to have fun, okay?" "I promise." "Okay." "What time are you going to have her back?" "Um..." "I don't know, 4:00 or something." "Okay, 4:00." "Hey." "You okay, baby?" "Are you okay?" "She's okay." "She'll be-- she'll be all right." "Alexis, it's going to be okay." "You're going to have a fun day, okay?" "You're going to have a good time." "Have fun with her, okay?" "Thanks." "* With a wing on the left. *" "* With a wing on the left. *" "* And a wing on the right. *" "* And a wing on the right. *" "* The baby bird sleeps. *" "* The baby bird sleeps. *" "* All through the night. *" "* All through the night. *" "I'm hungry." "Are you hungry?" "Yeah." "You want junk food?" "Yes." "Yes." "I'm starving." "Me too." "You want to push it?" "I want chicken nuggets." "Okay." "And I want to eat... french fries." "I want french fries too." "And..." "So when are we going to get to miniature golf?" "Soon." "Really soon." "I've never did miniature golf before." "You never did?" "Uh-uh, never." "That's a shame." "Did you ever go to Florida?" "Florida?" "Yeah." "No." "Me neither." "You want to go?" "Lyn and Bobby went, and I stayed at Grandma Mary's." "Hmm." "She--she lets me stay up late and watch late movies..." "This thing looks like it hurts." "And has a little dog that's named Isabella." "It's mean?" "No, it's named Isabella, but it's a nice dog." "It's a little French bulldog." "So do you want to go to Florida?" "Mommy?" "Yes, my love?" "I have to go to the bathroom." "You do?" "Okay, let's go." "One more." "Come on." "Damn it." "Go in the bathroom." "Jesus Christ." "You like embarrassing me like that?" "Do you?" "Why don't you answer me?" "You never listen to me, and you never answer me." "Look at me when I talk to you." "You want me to leave you here?" "Is that what you want?" "You're lucky that I'm here with my girl, or I'd beat the living shit out of you, you fucking bully!" "Lexis?" "Lexis, I'm sorry." "Lexi, Lexi." "Hey, baby." "Alexis, what are you doing?" "Did you go to the bathroom?" "Lexi, open up the door." "Open up the door." "Come here." "What is it?" "Oh, what happened?" "It's okay." "I'm scared, Sherry." "It's okay." "All right." "I'm just gonna get the keys." "Ugh, fuck." "Let's get these wet pants off you." "Come on, you got to help me get your shoes off." "Oh--come on." "Jesus." "Okay, and you do the other one." "Fuck me." "Okay, look what I got." "Oh-- what's that?" "Oh, look at this." "Come on, baby." "I'm trying." "Come here." "Okay, take your panties off, Lex." "Sherry, close the door." "Hey, you got to help me." "All right." "Come on, left foot." "Left foot." "Do you even love me?" "Tell me you love me." "I love you." "Tell me, "I love you, Mommy. "" "I love you, Mommy." "Come on." "You know what?" "I used to get scared too... all the time." "Watch your step, honey." "Why don't you go say hi to Lynnie?" "She's worried about you." "Lyn." "Come here, Lyn." "I got to tell you something." "Did you guys have fun?" "Yeah." "Thanks for calling." "You know what, Bob?" "What?" "I never asked you this the whole time that I was away." "I never asked you..." "Asked me what, Sherry?" "Could you help me take care of my daughter?" "I can't do it by myself." "Of course I can." "What do you think I've been doing?" "I know, but I never asked you." "Come here." "Yes." "You're gonna be okay." "You want to come inside?" "No." "You think you were worried about Lexi." "Dean's probably waiting by the window for his baby." "Thanks." "* Oh, I will free the bird in me, * * oh, when I find my life, * * what I always knew could be, * * oh, when I find my life. *" "* I will see the truth in me, * * oh, when I find my life. *" "* I will see beyond the stain, * * oh, when I find my life. *" "* Fear of loss and fear of gain, * * oh, when I find my life. *" "* Oh, when I find my life. *" "* Oh, when I find my life. *" "* I remember all the days of shame * * and all the lies you told me. *" "* I have worked so hard to learn * * and come so far in my attempts to let it go, * * my dear. *" "* And it's so easy. *" "* I just opened my eyes. *" "* And it's so hard * * to let go. *" "* Oh, I will free the bird in me * * oh, when I find my life. *" "* All will be what I want to be, * * oh, when I find my life. *" "* I am here, and I am free, * * oh, when I find my life. *" "* Oh, when I find my life. *" "* Oh, when I find my life. *" "* Oh, when I find my life. *" "* Oh, when I find my life. *"