"My mother always used to say," ""people plan, and God laughs."" "Which is funny, because Bizzy didn't even believe in God." "Do you?" "I..." "I don't know." "I mean, the idea of something bigger than me, a God, being in charge of my life is somehow comforting, I guess." "But it's also..." "Unsettling." "I-I think, if there is a God, he doesn't want to hurt us or judge us." "Hurting and judging are distinctly human traits." "It's a letter from the medical board." "They're suspending my license, and they're coming after the practice." " I met a guy." " We're gonna have to tell each other who we are sooner or later." " I can't come with you to Fiji." " Why not?" "What do you have holding you here?" "Look, I just slipped." "Starting now, your surgical privileges at this hospital are revoked." " Violet, if you run away again" " Again?" "You dropped Lucas in my lap and you ran!" "I'm going." "Oh!" "I missed you." "I missed you, too." "I'm still gonna want a baby, Sam." "I want to believe in a God who's..." "Who's like the kind of parent I hope to be one day..." "Accepting..." "Loving, forgiving, present." "I mean, life's too hard to believe in the other kind." "Don't you think?" "♪ go on, tell me, where is the sexy people at?" "♪" "That was, uh..." " Different." " Better." "Amazing." "That was amazing." "Why did we break up?" "You really want me to remind you?" "No." "No, I don't." "Okay." " Mm." " Sam." "No, just ignore it." "Stop, stop." "No, Sam, it's the hospital." "I'm not on call." " Are you sure?" " Yes." "Yeah?" "Oh." "This is Dr. Bennett." "♪ ..." "Really care what anybody ♪" "♪ anybody, anybody thinks ♪" "Okay." "I'll be right there." "♪ Control me, love me, kiss me ♪" "♪ touch me ♪ (Man) ♪ come on ♪" "♪" "♪ I don't really care... ♪" "Take it off." "I'm gonna need another drink for that." "I can make that happen." "Bitch, get off the bar." "We're not in Vegas." "Hey." "Whoa." "Hey." "No need for name calling." "We can all be friends." "Come dance with me, sister." "Guys like a little girl on girl." "♪" "See..." "Now I see a need for name calling..." "Bitch!" "Ohh!" "♪ I don't really care ♪" "Son of a... ♪ C-c-care ♪" "Y'all suck as a mosh pit." "♪ I-I-I don't really care ♪" "Attention, passengers on flight 531 to New York, we apologize for the ongoing delay." "We're working to correct an issue with the hydraulics system and will announce a new departure time as soon as we have one." " Thank you." " Maybe the delay is a sign." "No, it's not." "We made the right decision." "It's time to go home." "Oh, really?" "I don't know." "I feel like" " I should go back to my mother's house." " Come on, Jo." "You don't throw away 12 years of marriage over one fight." "Trust me." "You'll see." "Okay?" "We'll..." "We'll work it out, like we always do." "This time is different." "You know that." "This time, I don't know if we can fix it." "Damn it." "Again." "Sam." "Not now." "Sam, how long has he been down?" " 45 minutes." " You have to call it." "No." " Sam, call it." " Mnh-mnh." "Time of death... 10:17." "Thanks for coming in." "Duncan was on call, but he got stuck in the O.R. doing an aortic valve." "No problem." "Uh, if you're good here," "I was thinking about heading back home." "Hey." "I didn't know that you were-- yeah." "Uh, I have a mother-- uh, with triplets, went into early labor." "And they already have twins," " so I am going to retire on that family." " Hmm." "Did you deliver them yet?" "No, no, she hasn't dilated yet." "Okay, so you're still waiting." "'Cause I was thinking--I'm" " I think I'm done for the night." " Oh." "Yeah." "So-- well, good news." "Pete never showed up for his shift, so, Sam, you can fill in." " You can keep Addison company all night." " Okay." "As long as you stop pretending that you two aren't back together, because you can't sell it, and it's making me uncomfortable." "Wait." "What happened to Pete now?" "Oh, he's probably upset 'cause Violet went to New York." "What?" "Yeah, I saw her at the airport." "What were you doing at the airport?" "I was, uh, saying good-bye to Nai." "Hold on." "Violet just left?" "She didn't say anything?" "To you." "I'm sure she had some things to say to Pete." "Which is probably why he's upset." "Well, he coulda been upset here." "Lord knows there are enough people around to cheer him up." "Mm." "Pete's hard to cheer up." "He can get really dark." "Maybe I should go over there and see if I can get him out for a drink or I don't know, give him some time, take Lucas out for ice cream or something." "Either way, have a ball." "I'll be here..." "With Sam and Addison." "I need coffee." "Can I get you anything?" "No, I'm fine." "God." "Thank you." "I'm sorry." "I don't usually melt down in public like this." "Oh, please." "Airports are like hospitals or high school dances." "Somebody's crying somewhere." "I'm" " I'm Violet Turner." "Joanna Gibbs." "I heard you talking to your husband." "I'm so sorry." "I never eavesdrop." "But what are you gonna do in a place like this, right?" "No, it's... it's fine." "We're fine." "I'm sure." "I keep telling myself the same thing." "I wrote a book, and I'm going to New York for this book tour, but I left my son and my husband at home." "And that's created a little bit of..." "Drama." "But I guess that's what marriage is, right?" "You fight, you work it out." "Rinse." "Repeat." "Yeah, sometimes it feels like that." "You just have to remind yourself, it moves the relationship forward." "Unless you're always fighting about the same thing." "I'm a lawyer." "I work horrendous hours." "And David, my husband..." "He doesn't get it." "No." "He used to." "He's always been incredibly supportive." "You know, most men put their own careers first." "♪ you should try me ♪" "David held down two jobs to pay for my law school." "♪ Come down and look around ♪" "And then he listened to me bitch for eight years while I worked round-the-clock trying to make partner at the firm." "And then when I finally did," "I think it meant as much to him as it did to me." "♪ ..." "Rushing through my veins ♪" "You don't see that often in husbands." "I know." "The problem is..." "Things haven't gotten any easier at the firm, and..." "All of a sudden, he's not like that." "♪ Makes no difference ♪" "I don't know." "Something in him changed." "♪ We can try ♪" "I came out here to..." "Get away, I guess." "Well, sometimes distance can give you a little perspective on a relationship." "Yeah." "When David flew out, he was so apologetic." "I know he's right." "In the heat of the moment, you say or do things you wouldn't..." "When you say "do things"... ♪ She said, you keep my world... ♪" "W-what happened?" "♪ Keep you where do you remember when ♪" "Last time we fought... ♪ I said, that's why... ♪" "David hit me." "♪ And I'll come looking for you ♪" "♪ Every chance I get ♪" "Come on, Pete." "I know you're in there." "I saw your car out front." "Come on, man." "♪ It's the wrong space and time ♪" "I also know that Violet left for New York today and that that sucks." "I brought some beer." "I thought I could come in, and we could commiserate." "Or I could leave the beer and I'll take Lucas out for a little bit." "Lucas?" "♪ Maybe, baby ♪" "Pete!" "♪ ..." "And time ♪" "Look, man, I really do not want to see your ass again, but I am a little freaked out, so I'm coming in, okay?" "Pete, I'm coming in, okay?" "♪ Try ♪" "Pete." "Pete." "♪" "All right." "Uh, 326 Las Brisas." "Come now." "Okay, stay with me, Pete." "No, it's his house." "His name is Pete Wilder." "I think it's a heart attack." "I got no pulse." "I'm starting c" "Four, five, six." "Okay, stay with me, Pete." "Ambulance is on the way." "Lucas?" "15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20." "Lucas, come out here, buddy." "20." "Lucas, I know it's scary, but we're taking care of your dad, okay?" "Hey." "You okay?" "I know it's scary, but we're just helping your dad, okay?" "He's gonna be okay." "I promise." "Come on, Pete." "Come on, man." "There he is, my knight in shining armor." "You okay?" "Fell down, need stitches, didn't think I should drive." "Thank you for coming." "Yeah." "You didn't think you should drive or the bartender took your keys?" "Tomato, tomahto." "Amelia, y-- You're drunk." "Not quite." "I was on my way to being drunk when all of the unfortunate bleeding interrupted my evening." "What happened to AA, huh?" "My problem was with pills, Sheldon, not booze." "Tomato, tomahto." "You tomahtoed me back." "That's clever." "I like that." "I like you." "Well, I like you, to but I'm worried about you." "Oh, please don't be." "And you're a drug addict using a drug." "Just because it comes in liquid form doesn't mean it's not a drug." "And addicts using drugs have consequences, for example, you need stitches in your hand" "Your Hopkins-trained neurosurgeon hand." "And that" " That is a potentially severe consequence, and I" "Amelia." "Relax, Sheldon." "I'm not trying to sleep with you." "I just needed you to shut up so that you could give me a ride to the hospital, and I won't bleed to death in the street." "Could you do that for me?" "Yeah." "I'll lecture you more later." "I figured." "Has he ever hit you before?" "No." "Never." "No." "His hours are getting cut back at work." "Mine are getting worse, so he's always home, stewing." "I know it's a cliche, but it really was at least partially my fault." "Do you really believe that?" "We were supposed to go for a run in the park, and... at the last minute, a client wanted a conference call." "Not the first time this has happened." "And we just..." "Fell into our same pattern." "He got mad." "I got defensive." "We ended up fighting for so long that I was going to miss the call anyway, so..." "I texted... my assistant while he was talking." "I know it drives him crazy, but I did it anyway." "And he... reacted..." "Badly." "So you came out here." "See my mother." "And what does she have to say about what happened?" "She adores David." "I couldn't bring myself to tell her." "Do you have any good friends in New York?" "Great ones, actually." "I have a group from college and law school, plus some great women at work." "Have you told any of them what happened?" "You haven't told anyone." "Things like this..." "Are not supposed to happen to women like me." "How's he doing?" "His pulse is thready." "He hasn't regained consciousness." " I'll take Lucas." " So we still don't know how long he's been down?" " No." " Did you get ahold of Violet?" "No, I left messages." "I think she's in the air." "Did you give him any antiarrhythmics?" "Yeah, we bolused him times 2." "All right, I need an EKG, chem 20, enzymes, and a CBC." "He's on the monitors." "All right, give it to me." "He's having trouble breathing." "We need to control his airway." " I'll intubate." " I've got the chart right here." "All right, ST elevation in the anterior leads." " He's having an acute m.I." " How's it comin', Coop?" "I can't visualize the cords." " He's in V-fib." " All right." "Almost there." "Almost there." "Charge 'em to 360." "Clear." " Cooper!" " Ow." "You okay?" "I'm all right." "I'm all right." "All right, he's back in sinus, but we gotta get him to the cath lab and open those blocked arteries now." "Now." "Cooper." " Go." "Go, go, go." " Come on." "Come on." "Let's go." "I'm okay." "This is very MacGyver of you." "Shut up." "You gonna fashion a bomb out of nothing but your bra strap and that suture kit?" "Stop thinking about my bra strap, Sheldon." "Yeah, actually, I was thinking that the E.R. would be a more suitable place for sutures." "Why don't we page Dr. Freud and ask him why you talked about my underwear instead?" "Do you always use sexual innuendo to deflect potential conflict or is..." "No, not always." "Only with men." "Could you hold this?" " Aah." " Why aren't we in the E.R.?" "Because interns do sutures in ERS and interns suck." "But why else?" "Amelia." "I don't want to run into Charlotte, okay?" "She'll start quoting the AA big book at me, and I am in no mood." "I see." "So sexual innuendo for men, and with women, it's..." " Avoidance." " Got it." "And you're planning to suture your hand yourself?" "Well, I was hoping you could help." "I'm a shrink." "I suck worse than the interns." "No." "In that case, yes," "I'm planning to suture my own hand." "But you have to give me the shot to numb it." "Can you handle that or is my bra strap too distracting?" "Hey." "Hey." "Where is Pete?" "They, uh, took him to, um..." "The cath lab." "How's he doing?" "S-Sam had to, um, paddle him to get his..." "His rhythm back, but, you know, fine." "How are you doing?" "Are you okay?" "Uh... either Pete has a really narrow trachea or somebody handed me the wrong size e.T. Tube, because..." "I wasn't quite done intubating him when Sam yelled "clear"..." "Oh." "And I got a little..." "Oh, Coop." "I-I'm just a little..." " Spacey?" " Uh..." " Tingly?" " Yeah." "Oh." "I remember, my first year..." "Of residency," "I scrubbed in on an abdominal hysterectomy, and, uh, I was standing down by the patient's knee, so I had to lean in to get a better look." "Midway through, her heart stopped." "I remember the attending grabbing the paddles, calling "clear."" "I lifted my hands up, but my entire stomach was still touching her legs." "Mommy." "When I got to the house, he was... under the dining room table, hiding." "He saw?" "Sweetie, you're gonna be okay." "We gotta figure out a way to get in touch with Violet." "It's not like I didn't want to tell somebody." "I..." "I don't know how to talk about it." "You're doing great." "Because you're a stranger." "But my mother, my friends-- I'd be too embarrassed." "Everyone knows" "Joanna Gibbs, phi beta kappa, order of the coif, youngest partner at the firm." "If I tell them what happened," "I'll just be Joanna Gibbs, battered wife." "Here he comes." " Go to the ladies room." " What?" "Go to the ladies room." "I'll meet you there." "The coffee in here smelled kinda grim, so I went out to the terminal." "I got a you a vanilla latte in case" "I have to go to the bathroom." "Jo, are you all right?" "Is she okay?" "I don't know." "The vessel's tight." " He's still having runs of v-tach." " Lucas." " I'm having difficulty inserting the stent." " Lucas." "He's fine." "He's with Addison." "Sam." "Is his face..." "It's not good." "Muscle paralysis, right side." "Either his heart was stopped long enough that he's already had some brain damage or there's a bleed." "We should page Amelia." "Let's pray this is reversible." "Get the neuro on call here now." "It should be Amelia." "We'll take whoever's closest." "The catheter dissected his coronary artery." "He's bleeding into his chest." "Start compressions." "We lost his pulse." "We gotta get him to the O.R., get him on bypass." "We're not gonna have enough time." "Just do it." "Just do it." "Go." "Sam, his eyes." "All right, there's just enough circulation to perfuse his brain." " Don't stop." " I'm tryin'!" "Mm." "Is that it?" "Yep." "How are you?" "Y-you okay?" "Nothing will sober you up like repeatedly puncturing your own flesh with sharp metal." "Oh, yeah." "I need a drink." "You wanna come?" "How about I take you to a meeting instead?" "How about you stop sounding exactly like Charlotte?" "Are you on call?" "Were you drinking while you were on call?" "God, Sheldon." "No, I'm not on call, but" "But they are paging me anyway." "Amelia." "What's going on?" "Did Charlotte call you?" "No, but I just got a page from Sam." "Why do you have Lucas?" "You guys, what's going on?" "Hi." "Are you okay?" "David is not a violent man." "This..." "Was just a fluke." "But you left him to go somewhere safe." "Do you have any reason to doubt that instinct?" "You don't understand the relationship that David and I have." "Maybe not." "But I do know what it feels like to be the victim of violence." "I know how it feels when the confidence and security that you thought you had goes out the window." "And if you ever want that back, that sense of control over your own life..." "You can't just not tell anyone and pretend it didn't happen." "Nobody ever really gets to control their life." "You" " You meet a guy, you fall in love, you make all these plans, and then..." "Your husband's career doesn't..." "Work out the way he thought it would." "He gets frustrated and angry because who wouldn't?" "I know how that sounds." "But marriage is complicated." "And you're not inside this one." "You make sacrifices to get through..." "He hit you." "The hard times." " That's not a sacrifice." "That's abuse." " Okay." "We have to stop." "Because really..." "What qualifies you to define my relationship and tell me what to do?" "You seem like a very nice person, and I appreciate your concern." "I do." "But this is just none of your business." "I have to..." "I have to get back to my husba.." "Does Violet know?" "No, she's on a plane to New York." "I called, I e-mailed, I texted." "I don't have good news." "Pete's pressure keeps bottoming out." "Sam took him to the O.R. to put him on bypass." "What are you doing here?" "I got a page that Sam needed me." "Is Pete having neuro complications?" "Slurred speech and a facial droop." "Probably a CVA." "Oh, God." "Buddle's on his way." "Well, I'm here now." "What happened to your hand?" "My hand's fine." "I'm gonna go talk to Sam." "Amelia." "What happened to her hand?" "She cut it." "It needed some stitches." "It's..." "It's fine." "What's happening?" "He's on bypass." "He's gonna need a 4-vessel graft." " He also may have a bleed." " Why are you waiting?" "Dye." "He had two long sessions of CPR." "The high-peak pressure might have ruptured one of his vessels." "There." "If I get in now, I can clamp it." "He's already on bypass." "I have four arteries to graft first." "By the time you're done, Pete'll be lucky if he can drool." "Look, you take care of your part, I'll do mine." "Okay, 11-blade..." " Let's prep for a left-side craniotomy." " Potts scissors, now." "Clear the fluoroscope." "I'm gonna need a craniotome, a joker, and some bone wax." "Stop." "Amelia, I said stop." "You know, we should switch seats." "That's where I was sitting for the Violet-Katie thing." "And?" "Well, that turned out okay, so..." "I should sit there again." "And this is where I was sitting when Dell died." "Oh, well, even more so." "I wasn't here either of those times." "I was operating, so..." "No, okay, you can stay there, but you and me..." "How do y t think Sam and Amelia are doing?" "I think Sam and Amelia are exactly who I'd want in there, but..." "But what?" "Having everyone count on you to save the life of someone they love, trying to set aside your own feelings, it's hard, that's all." "Hey, Lucas." "You hungry?" "Mm-hmm." "Yeah?" "Let's try to go find something good to eat." "There we go." "Call me if you hear anything, okay?" "Yeah." "Any word from Violet?" "Not yet." "But this says her plan hasn't left." "I mean, she's still gotta be at the airport, right?" "Can I do anything?" "What the hell are you doing?" "Pete's got an arterial bleed." "If I don't clamp it-- buddie's ten minutes out." " He doesn't have ten minutes." " What the hell is going on here?" "She cut her hand." " But I'm fine." " Are you?" "Charlotte, I'm fine." "You can say that without any" "Hey, whatever's going on between the two of you, now is not the time to work it out." "Amelia, can you cut?" " It's my left hand." "I'm a righty." " Okay, then." "I know this has been a scary night." "And there's so many things that have happened that you shouldn't have had to see." "It's not fair." "♪ if you need ♪" "But you have your juice now, so hopefully, that's all that matters, huh?" "So your daddy's gonna be okay." "He's got great doctors working with him." "I think he's gonna be okay." "And your mommy is gonna be here very soon, so that's good." "Right?" "But you know what?" "Right now..." "I'm glad that I'm here with you." "♪ No one knows ♪" "♪ I saw Cain ♪" "♪ you can rely ♪" "Attention passengers on flight 531 to New York." "The mechanical problem has been resolved." "You should proceed back to your gate." "Boarding will begin in 15 minutes." "Thank you." "Okay, you're right." "You did not ask my opinion, and this is none of my business, but just--don't do this." " Don't get on the plane." " What are you talking about?" "I-I do know what it's like to be in a complicated marriage, but what's going on between the two of you" " is a whole other thing..." " Jo, why is she" " And you're not ready to go home." " This is ridiculous." "So if you can't talk to your mother, if you can't talk to your friends, you can talk to me, but don't go." "Okay, we're done here." "We're done." "Come on." "Excuse me, are you Dr. Violet Turner?" "I have an emergency call for you from Dr. Freedman." "♪" "Coop?" "♪ No one knows ♪" "Oh, God." "♪ I saw Cain ♪" "Violet?" "♪ You can rely ♪" "♪ rely ♪" "Full belly." "That's good." "♪ Oh, you can rely ♪" "♪ rely on me ♪" "I know he's scared, but..." "He can't really understand what's going on, can he?" "Well, it's hard to tell." "Kids absorb a lot." "And even if he doesn't realize what's happening around him," "Lucas feels the crisis." "♪ Oh ♪" "What'll it do to him?" "♪ 'Cause you weren't down ♪" "Well, usually, there's some regression in eating and toileting, and periods where he can't be consoled." "Is there anything else that we should be doing?" "We're doing it." "You're doing it." "He needs to be around familiar people, places, smells." "♪" "More than anything, right now he..." "He needs Violet." "♪ You'll be right ♪" "What if Pete doesn't make it?" "I mean... ♪ You can rely ♪" "That's a cataclysmic event for a child, one that we shouldn't even think about unless we need to." "♪ Oh, you can rely ♪" "I didn't have a choice, did I?" "I mean, Amelia was there." "It couldn't wait." "You did not have a choice." "And, you know, hopefully, if she had any doubt that she could do it, she wouldn't have pushed so hard." "Amelia never has any doubts." "That's what I'm worried about." "But it's Pete." "You did not have a choice." "What if one of us died?" "Are you seriously asking me this right now?" "When I was 14 and my dad had that heart attack, it scared the hell out of me." "But the worst part..." "Was I remember being in the hospital with my mom, and she kept saying" "Not even to me, she just kept repeating" ""I don't want to be without him." "I can't be without him."" "And I just..." "Haven't you ever thought about it?" "Ever?" "Yes." "But at this moment, it's not you and me I'm worried about." "Would you get married again?" "♪ Oh ♪" "Would you not want me to?" "I don't know." "I guess..." "I mean, I'd want you to be happy, so... ♪ Oh ♪" "You could get married again, what about me?" "I'd want you to be miserable every day for the rest of your life." "You asked." "Hello." "Hey, Violet." "Whose phone is this?" "No, okay, he's still in surgery." "Okay, I will check myself right now, okay?" "I'm checking." "Okay, he's ready to come off pump." "You done yet?" "Almost there." "I gotta get him off this pump now, Amelia." "The vessel's done, but I still gotta close." "Just take him off." "Okay." "Arterial..." "Off." "Venous... off." "Ok.." "We got him back." "All right." "Got him back." "Hey, guys." "How's, uh..." "We lost his pressure again." "All right, he's in v-fib." "Damn it." "Cooper, I need you to scrub in." "Pete's still in the O.R. Cooper's checking on him." "I'm not gonna wait on Cooper." "Hey." "Is he" "He's fine, Violet." "Go." "Okay." "I'm not getting anything." "What can I do?" "All right, charge again." " It's not working." " Sam." "Come here." "Squeeze." "Give me 5 cc's of epi, 1 to 1,000." "Come on." "Don't be gentle." "Squeeze." "Violet." "He's been in and out of consciousness, but the grafts are holding." "His cardiac output is on target" "And he's gonna be okay?" "Yeah." "He's gonna be okay." "Oh..." "Recovery's gonna be tough, but you know that." "And in a couple of weeks, when you get around to making those thank-you baskets..." "Sam only saved his life once." "I saved it twice." "This is true." "Yep." "Thank you." "Mm-hmm." "Both of you." "Uh, what am I supposed to say to him now," ""I'm sorry"?" "It sounds so pathetic, but I do want to apologize-- for what?" "I" " If I hadn't argued with him and then left" "Oh, come on." "You did not cause this." "Violet, you c" " You couldn't have done anything to stop it." "It was bad luck." "Yeah, go see him." "You'll feel better." "Yeah." "Oh, don't be worried if he seems a little, uh, euphoric." "His hormones are still a little bit scrambled from the anesthesia and bypass." "Wait a minute." "So you're saying Pete's in there acting like Mr. Rogers but with a zipper scar?" "It'll wear off." "You better get in there." "Hey." "Oh, my God." "Oh, you are beautiful." "Oh, and my chest hurts." "Mm." "You had a heart attack." "Sam did a quadruple bypass." "Then you had a brain bleed, so Amelia had to get in there." "Oh, that explains the headache." "Oh." "Oh." "Oh." "Mm." "Oh." "You know what?" "I know it sounds odd, but honestly..." "I think I'm okay." "Yeah, I-I think that I can get up now." "Okay, okay." "Maybe tomorrow." "Maybe" "Oh." "Okay, okay, okay." "Oh." "Oh." "I love you." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "Nothing." "Nothing's wrong." "You're okay, and I'm here, and..." "We fought." "And then I left..." "Again." "And it felt like I was going to something this time, not just away, but I know it probably didn't feel that way to you." "And then Lucas..." "If I hadn't gone, maybe none of this would've happened." "Violet, stop." "I'm okay." "You're okay, and Lucas is okay, and that's all that matters, right?" "You are so beautiful." "Hey." "Hey yourself." "So good about Pete, right?" "You know, heart's better, head's fine." "I mean, that leak turned out to be pretty large, but I clipped it." "Rocked it is actually what I did." "Hey, um..." "Thanks for, you know, saying that you were worried about my hand." "I appreciate that." "You're not welcome, Amelia." "Okay." "What I mean by that is, I will not enable you and I will not protect you anymore, not ever again." "It's a onetime deal." "Until you get your sobriety in hand" "Look, I am not a drunk." "Charlotte, I have never been a drunk." "The fact that you're trying to draw a distinction between booze and drugs tells me you're in trouble," " 'cause you know better..." " Mm-hmm." "And you been around long enough to see how this goes." "Alcoholics go out on pills, they go crazy." "Addicts go out on booze, and they think they can handle it, but they can't." " I am fine." " No, you're not." "The fact is, Amelia, I care about you too much to trust you right now." "Your privileges are still suspended." "Next time someone pages you, don't answer." "Okay, I swear to God, if you start right now" "I was just gonna offer you a ride home." "I'd appreciate that." "What's wrong?" "I'm mad at you." "I couldn't be mad last night, but now Pete's stable, now you've seen him, so now I can be mad, and I am... really mad." "About what?" "About you just picking up and leaving your husband and your problems..." "It almost killed me the last time you did it, and you just did it again." "You're right." "Okay, you do not get to deal with losing your license by just getting on an airplane." "And you can't end an argument with Pete" " by just leaving town." " You're right." "This is your life, Violet." "You gotta stick around and fight for it." "Wait, Cooper." "I said you're right." "And you need to get a new cell phone with a better battery." "(Addison) Hey." "Hey." " Oh." " There's mama." "Hi, buddy." "Aww." "Oh, I missed you so much." "It has been..." "A crazy night." "He's been mostly sleeping, but he did eat." "I mean, just cookies, which I know isn't great, but" "Oh, it's fine." "Thank you, Addison." "All right." "You ready to go home?" "Mm-hmm." "Just you and me?" "Turns out I'm not going away after all." "Uh-oh." "Hello." "Hey." "Joanna, you're still here." "No." "No, no, no." "I really want to talk to you." "Life is hard." "It's hard and..." "Scary and out of my control, and that's the part that makes me the craziest" "The fact that I cannot control the world or what happens to the people I love." "You know, and the idea of me..." "Having a kid, not being able to control what happens... ♪" "Yeah, but every day I..." "Deliver a baby, and every day I see..." "That moment of change." "You know, that moment when every cell in a woman's body is transformed." "And whatever happens--whether the baby is sick or healthy, happy or unhappy, lives or dies" "Whatever happens, that woman will never be just a woman again." "She will always be a mother." "She's transformed." "And it's exhilarating and terrifying and... ♪" "I want that." "♪ who comes from nowhere anyway?" "♪" "I want it." "Sam hasn't changed his mind, though." "As much as I want it, he doesn't want it." "♪ I know ♪" "But for today..." "For some reason, that's okay." "♪ If it's all right ♪" "Because I made an appointment with a fertility specialist who is supposed to be amazing, and... ♪ One and the same ♪" "I went." "There's just one thing that's weird and..." "Potentially complicated." "People plan, and God laughs." "♪ ..." "When the clouds came rolling in ♪" "Hello." "Hello." "♪" "You?" "Wow." "Um, this is a-a nice surprise." "I-I'm, uh, I'm sorry." "I-I had no idea." "Well, it was your choice to skip the preliminary consultation in my office." "Everyone kept saying, "fertility, Jake Reilly,"" "like" " Like there was no other choice." "Well, that-- That's flattering." "But Jake Reilly is you?" "And you are..." "Addison Montgomery." "Well, it's nice to meet you, Addison, officially." "♪ Always find a way ♪" "Yeah." "Uh..." "I, uh... shouldn't you be in, uh..." "Fiji or something?" "Well, I-I was on the plane." "I got paged." "Turns out another fertility genius had, uh, loaded up a patient with HCG and nearly ruptured her ovaries." "So I spent the night in the hospital, and I'm here to watch her for the next couple of days." "Oh, I'm..." "Sorry about that." "Yeah, it would've been a great trip, but, uh, you know, sometimes you have more important things to do." "I figured that was the decision you made, and, uh..." "Looks like I'm right." "Oh, no, no." "Me being here?" "No, this has nothing to do with why I-I didn't get on the plane." "Anyway, listen, the, uh, flirtation that we had, that was fun." "I enjoyed that probably as much as you did, but, uh, I have no problem leaving that in the past and simply taking care of you as a patient" "No, I-I don't think you understand." "I mean, this doesn't have to be awkward." "I have a boyfriend." "Will we be using his sperm?" "♪ I know ♪" "No, we will not..." "Be using his sperm." "We won't be using anyone's sperm." "Well, that" " That's gonna make this hard." "We are not gonna be doing anything." "All right." "Just" " Just take a breath." "♪ When you let me in ♪" "It's okay." "Trust me, all right?" "I'm gonna give you a baby." "♪" "So how do I deal with that?"