"Wrong." "* Tell me why I love you like I do" "* Tell me who can stop my heart as much as you" "* Let's take each other's hand" "* As we jump into the final frontier" "* I'm mad about you, baby" "* Yeah!" "Honey." "Honey?" "Honey, I can't find my loop." "What?" "My loop." "You know, the little thing that..." "Do you know where it is?" "It's on the shelf in the hallway." "Thank you." "Go back to sleep." "Oh." "Honey." "Where's my gum?" "What?" "My gum." "What gum?" "The gum." "The Yum Yum gum for the commercial." "It's on the sideboard." "Thank you." "Go back to sleep." "What is a sideboard?" "Oh, my God." "I'm sorry." "It's just that it's good if the client sees you chewing the product." "Unless the product is tires." "That looks very stupid." "It's early." "You're gonna laugh at that later." "Show me." "Show me." "Thank you." "Why do we have all these magazines?" "You know, we save them just so we can read them, and then we never end up reading them." "We should read 'em." "Go." "You go back to sleep." "Wear your parka." "You don't like this?" "It's cold." "This is suede." "Wear your parka." "Suede is warm." "(SIGHING) Fine." "Cows wear suede." "You ever seen a cold cow?" "Bye-bye, sweetie." "Fine." "Fran, it's me." "Tell me why you hate being single?" "You cold?" "No." "Are you?" "No, not at all." "Get me a scarf or something, please?" "JAMIE:" "Hi!" "Hi." "What are you doing here?" "I wasn't busy, and he's never seen you work." "God, aren't you cold?" "No, not at all." "Look at all this stuff." "Yeah, I know." "It's like a little movie." "Except it's about gum." "You're very important." "I'm the most important there is." "Here you go." "No, not for me." "For the nun." "Put it on the nun costume." "Pep it up a little bit." "Sweetie, you're not cold?" "This is suede." "Paul, uh, can I see you a second?" "Sure." "One second." "Listen, um..." "The clients love the dog." "Got to lose the blonde." "Oh, no, no." "They're just visiting." "They love the dog." "The dog's not an actor." "Paul..." "Love the dog." "Let me see what I can do." "Who's that guy?" "Okay." "They want to put Murray in the commercial." "Really?" "Yeah." "Our Murray?" "Go figure." "Hey, buddy boy, you want to work with Daddy?" "Honey, look, his tail's wagging." "Look." "That means yes." "Though that could mean simply, "Are we outside yet?"" "Let's go." "Jeffrey." "JEFFREY:" "Yeah, Paul." "Do me a favor." "Take Murray." "Put him with the sailors over there." "Wait, wait, wit, wait, wait, wait, wait." "Come here." "Come here." "PAUL:" "He looks fine, baby." "There you go." "All right." "All right, places." "Let's do one." "(BELL RINGING)" "All right, we're chewing gum." "We're happy about the fact that we're chewing gum." "Remy." "Who's speaking?" "k!" "Roll camera." "(YUM YUM SONG PLAYING)" "Action!" "(WHISPERING) Murray, smile!" "(MOUTHING)" "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "No saving." "We read it, get on with our lives." "Would you two pipe down?" "We're trying to watch TV." "You still here?" "No, I'm a hologram." "She's not so pretty." "Who's that?" "Rachel Hunter." "Oh." "Oops." "Too late." "Commercial." "Oh, let's see if Hazel's on some channel." "Oh, hey, that's my commercial!" "Is that Murray?" "Yeah." "(SHUSHING) Look, look, look." "Look at him." "What shush?" "It's Yum Yum Yum." "What're you missing?" "How come Murray got to be in your commercial?" "Did I tell you she would say that?" "Hello!" "I could use a job, too." "It was a spur-of-the-moment thing." "Good job." "Thank you." "(TELEPHONE RINGS) Oh, yeah, you, too." "God, he was really good." "Hello." "Hey, Fran." "Yes, that was Murray." "Yeah, I know." "I--I--I directed it." "I just don't see why If he's gonna put someone in the family on TV, it couldn't be me." "JAMIE:" "Lisa." "Well, yeah, of course..." "Yes, I know the dog was good because I directed him." "I can chew." "Fran, listen, you now what, the other phone is ringing." "I got to go." "All right." "Good night." "Hello." "Hey, Mr. Wicker." "Yes, that was Murray." "Remember when we did Pippin in high school," "Mr. Jenkins said I was the loudest one in the chorus." "Well, I don't know that you'd say Murray "made" the commercial." "I mean, I directed it." "I did a lot of things myself that I, you know..." "The director very often is under..." "You know what?" "I got to get off the phone, Mr. Wicker." "Good night." "Was Murray ever in Pippin?" "No." "Was Murray ever in Pippin?" "No!" "No." "(PHONE RINGS) I think I've made my point." "Hello." "Hiya, Ma." "Well, thank you." "Thank you very much." "It's nice to have somebody appreciate my work." "Well, I'll tell him you said so." "I'll" " I'll tell him." "Hold on." "(HUMMING THE YUM YUM SONG)" "(HUMMING THE YUM YUM SONG)" "(HARMONIZING)" "(DOORBELL BUZZES)" "(BOTH STOP HUMMING)" "(BOTH START HUMMING AGAIN)" "(HUMMING THE YUM YUM SONG)" "Hello." "Hello." "Yes?" "I was just coming in from my early-bird yoga class, and this was waiting for you in the lobby." "Thanks." "Well, after all, we are neighbors." "Is he in?" "Uh, yeah." "Paul?" "Oh, no, no, not him." "(MURRAY BARKING)" "You were very good last night." "Yes, he was." "Ask me" " Ask me who directed it." "I did." "Thank you very much." "Yes." "Sophie and I are going to the park later." "We thought perhaps if he were free..." "Well, I'll see if he can work you in." "Thanks a lot." "Who's that from?" "From Bob." "Who's that?" "I don't know, but he's ours truly." "This is for Murray." "Look at this stuff." "(TELEPHONE RINGS)" "Did you know they make espresso kibble?" "Hello." "Bob." "Hi, Bob." "We were just sitting here wondering who you were." "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "Well, I directed it." "Yeah." "Well, no, he's not professional." "He's" " He's just our dog." "No, he wouldn't be interested." "In what?" "Agent." "Why would Murray need an agent?" "He doesn't." "Well, tell him." "May I?" "Bob, thank you very much." "That's very kind, but..." "Yes, I am speaking for Murray as well." "If I change my mind, I will." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "Is that nuts?" "Totally." "You hungry?" "Yes." "Anything in there for us?" "Cow hoof?" "Having it for lunch." "Is it nuts?" "What?" "Bob." "Bob as a concept or..." "I mean, why not?" "'Cause, you know, well, he's not..." "He's Murray." "So?" "He'd still be Murray." "He'd just be Murray professionally." "Do you think there's a big demand for professional Murrays out there?" "I think he might enjoy it." "I already told Bob no." "So tell Bob yes." "I don't like yanking Bob around like that." "What else has he got to do?" "Bob?" "Murray." "Murray's got plenty to do." "Look at him." "He's bored." "Did he say something to you?" "Look at him." "What, he's relaxing." "He's bored." "He's ruminating." "He's bored." "He's Murray." "I would think you'd like a little more for him than that." "Okay, just tell me now." "How long until you drop this?" "Three to five days." "I will call Bob." "Thank you so much for coming in." "I got to tell you..." "And this doesn't happen a lot." "I was nodding off last night, your commercial came on," "I saw that tail wagging." "Three words, I want that dog." "Four." "Four." "Uh, Paul directed it." "I only wish I handled humans." "Well, thank you." "What else does he do?" "Besides this?" "Yeah." "Nothing much." "Oh, come on." "He must do something." "No." "No." "Tricks?" "No." "Special talents?" "No..." "Oh, no, actually... (BARKS) Murray, go get the mouse." "Oh, honey." "No, no, wait." "Get the mouse." "(THUDDING)" "BOB:" "Yeah." "That--That's about it right there." "Well, you know, there's some things more important than tricks." "You know, when Beethoven first came in here, the only thing he could do was hump my leg." "You handled Beethoven?" "I passed." "Am I a yutz or what?" "How could you know?" "Still, I could kick myself." "Kidney treat?" "What Murray has is a look." "A quality." "I see Murray here as every dog." "The dog next door." "That's something that can't be taught." "See?" "(STAMMERING) I'm just not comfortable with this." "Paul, I'm sensing you're not comfortable with this." "I'm not." "What if we start him off slow?" "A little print work, a day or two on a soap." "I understand All My Children is looking." "Would he'd work with Susan Lucci?" "Probably." "I love her." "I don't want to exploit him." "Probably." "I love her." "I don't want to exploit him." "You have my word." "No funny hats or anything?" "Unless it's for artistic reasons." "Shall we give it a try?" "Let's give it a try." "(ROOSTER CROWS) Welcome aboard." "Forgive me." "My 3:00 is here." "How about acting class?" "How about let it go?" "You know, if it weren't for him, we might not even be here." "I see." "Where would we be?" "Why do you think I went out with you in the first place?" "'Cause I was stunning." "And?" "And witty." "And?" "And there." "And him." "You can trust a man with a dog." "Now, how--how do you figure that?" "Because he knows he has to come home at night or else clean up the mess in the morning." "See, I love how your brain works." "I just want this to work out." "What, you and me?" "Him." "I don't want him to be disappointed." "Well, sweetie, how could he be disappointed?" "He doesn't even know what's going on." "(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)" "Look, I know you got a plane to catch." "I want to thank you for coming by." "Uh, Jay." "Rachel, yes?" "I was just wondering whether I could I give him a hug before he goes?" "That's not up to me." "Murray, what do you think?" "Hey, hey, hey, don't make me have to turn the hose on you two, okay?" "Folks, let's hear it for Murray." "What do you say?" "Have you seen his new commercial?" "(AUDIENCE CHEERING) Have you seen his new commercial?" "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "I saw it." "You know, he did his own barking." "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "I saw it." "You know, he did his own barking." "We promised them we would have this proposal by tomorrow." "Look at his tail go." "Bob says you can't teach that." "James." "Come here, come here, come here." "(GROANS)" "Sweaty boys are here." "(SHUSHING)" "Oh, again?" "I know." "Fran wanted to see it." "Can we get back to work?" "Paulie, we going to eat?" "Yeah, as soon as we get back." "Murray, want to go to the park?" "Oh, honey, I don't think that's such a good idea." "Why not?" "Because he has to work tomorrow." "It's Thursday." "We always go to the park." "So?" "Go with Ira." "Oh, that's not the same." "Sure it is." "Ira, you want to go for a walk?" "Not really." "Come on, he'll buy you a treat." "Okay." "Honey, we're going to go." "All right." "Don't let him lick anything." "Murray, say goodbye to the crazy lady." "One sec, I'm gonna get him a sweater." "He doesn't..." "Never have children." "Tell me again why it's bad to be single." "Hey, Paulie, you remember the day we found him?" "Who'd have figured he'd become a star?" "He's not a star." "He's Murray." "What do you mean?" "Every time I turn on the TV, it's either him or Wings." "You think this is going to his head?" "Nothing ever did before." "I don't know." "I get into bed last night, I put my feet under him and he looks at me like, "Hey, who the hell are you?"" "What?" "Are you jealous?" "Of what?" "Murray." "Jealous?" "Of my dog?" "A little bit." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I'm not proud about it, but yeah, there it is." "Hey, smell this." "I don't want to smell it." "Just smell it." "That's how nougat smells." "It's just" " I directed the commercial, right?" "He's getting all the accolades." "You want an accolade?" "I'd like one accolade." "Something is not right." "He's not even my dog anymore." "Oh, come on." "He's yours." "You know what?" "This is no treat." "Go return the thing." "I'm gonna." "Hey, this is not fresh." "Hey, Murray, you're still my dog, right?" "I mean, hey, buddy." "It's still you and me, right?" "Nothing's going to change that." "All right." "Come on." "All right." "I now know how to make pumpkin flan." "And we are magazine-free!" "Honey, here, take these." "What did you do?" "I just finished." "His picture's in them." "Who, Murray?" "Page 42, the Subaru ad." "He's driving the car." "Good, all right, listen." "I ordered the tickets by phone, so if we leave right now..." "I can't." "Why?" "What are you..." "We're going to the movies." "He has to pack." "For what?" "Bob got him a rock video tonight." "We're shooting up near Oneonta." "Murray's doing a rock video?" "Uh-huh." "Why not?" "Okay, first of all, the element." "It's a good opportunity." "Sweetie, here's a thought." "He's going to be Megadeth's dog." "Ooh!" "I think not." "Don't worry, we'll be home first thing tomorrow." "He's got that pilot audition in the morning." "Whoa, wait a sec." "You're going, too?" "Yeah." "Okay." "No." "He's never been away from home before." "Come on, it'll be fun." "Come with us." "Oneonta and Megadeth." "Not so much." "Why not?" "Because I actually have a life here, which at one point the two of you were here for." "We're still here." "No." "You're in Oneonta." "Not all the time." "No, but emotionally you are." "You know what?" "Nobody's going to Oneonta." "All right." "All right." "All right." "I will stay home." "Will that make you happy?" "Very much so." "Yes." "I will call Bob and cancel." "No, no, no." "Murray can still go." "What's he gonna do?" "Drive the Subaru?" "I am going to hire him an assistant." "(ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYING)" "Hey, you think that crew guy's cute?" "Don't look, don't look." "(GARGLING)" "Did you just spit on my neck?" "I'm sorry." "I thought we had this down." "I'm sorry." "I'm just feeling a little off today." "(EXCLAIMS) Did you sleep at all last night?" "Not much." "It was very sweet of you to pant in my ear, though." "I do what I can." "I bet Megadeth slept like a log." "All right." "Excuse me." "Does the phrase "Wait up" mean anything to you?" "So I ran out of Evian." "Big deal." "When I met you, you were drinking out of toilets." "You know what?" "You've got a real attitude lately." "I don't think I want to work for you anymore." "How do you like that?" "Fine." "I quit." "What time is the big audition?" "Not till 5:00." "It's a big deal, huh?" "Well, you know, it's a series." "He might not get it." "I know, but what if he does?" "Honey..." "Now listen, I'm not gonna stand in his way 'cause he'd never forgive me, but I just miss him." "I know." "How does your sister get fired by a dog?" "She wasn't fired." "She quit." "That's not what I hear, babe." "Hey, hey." "There's my star." "What happened to you?" "Little disagreement with one of my clients." "It happens." "I got to tell you, I'm very jazzed about this." "What is this, exactly?" "One-hour drama." "My New Family, it's called." "Ex-con, debutante, couple of kids." "It's really his show." "If he gets it." "What are his chances?" "Hey, I'm not worried." "All he has to do is wag his tail." "That's his specialty." "It's in the bag, right?" "All right." "Whenever he's ready." "He was born ready." "Is he ready?" "We worked on it all day." "You remember the routine, right?" "He says his line, and you wag your tail." "(BELL RINGING) Just relax, Murray." "Be yourself." "Good luck." "All right." "See you, pal." "My New Family." "Murray test." "And..." "Action." "I don't know about you, Scout, but to me, this feels like home." "(BARKING) What do you think?" "Bob." "Jamie?" "He's just nervous." "He's only seven." "All right." "Let's try it again." "I don't know about you, Scout, but to me, this feels like home." "What do you think?" "(WHIMPERS)" "Bob, why is he ad-libbing?" "He's killing us here." "It's okay." "We'll talk to him." "Come on, Murray." "Come on." "Get up." "Sit up." "It's all right." "You remember." "Line, tail." "Line, tail." "You know how to do this." "This is what you wanted." "This is what you've been working for." "All right." "Okay." "Relax." "Okay." "Okay." "One more try." "I don't know about you, Scout, but to me, this feels like home." "What do you think?" "Murray, come on." "Tail." "Tail." "Hey." "Wag your tail." "Look at Daddy." "Wag your tail like that." "Come on, you mutt, this is the big one." "(GROWLING) Do you want to blow it?" "Bob, are you there?" "How about let it go?" "Bob, Murray feels terrible." "I know you two can work this out." "I can't believe he won't take my calls." "Well, it's a fickle business." "He had one bad audition." "He broke skin." "So that's it?" "A whole career just gone down the drain?" "What did you expect?" "It's Murray." "So?" "So I'm amazed it lasted as long as it did." "Good night." "Good night." "I just hope he's not upset." "I promise you." "He doesn't even know." "You think?" "What have I been telling you?" "He's Murray." "That's right." "I want to thank my guests, Rachel Hunter and Paul Buchman..." "RACHEL:" "Um, Jay?" "Yes?" "Yes, what is it, Rachel?" "I was wondering, before he goes, could I give him a hug, please?" "Uh, that's not up to me." "Sure." "As long as you're here." "Hey, hey, hey, don't make me have to turn the hose on you two." "Hey, come on, come on, come on."