" Why do you avoid stepping on lines?" " Well, they say it's bad luck." " And do you believe in this?" " Maybe it's not true, but, if in doubt, it's better not to step on them." " What're you doing, where're you going?" " Let me know when you stop!" " Should I whistle at you?" " Yes, you should, because I don't like to be bumping into people." "You're crazy!" "Is this the way to drive a car?" " What a hit!" " You're the one who's crazy." "You're the crazy one, I've even got witnesses." " What?" " Those three, over there." "Where're you going?" "They want to get us into trouble!" "Let's beat it!" "I'm not afraid, but I'm lucky enough to be cautious." " The scooterist could have got hurt." " Even worse, isn't it?" "If he's hurt, he dies." "And then, what will the police say?" "At first, that you killed him, then that you've moved the body." "And then, pictures in the newspapers, law suits, scandals, they discover you didn't pay your taxes, that you have a mistress, you're on coke, they tie you to the call-girls." "You were saying?" "Me, a witness?" " I'm melting." " Are you high?" " No." " Well!" "I'm not high, but I don't want to be caught up in this." "What are you talking about!" "Listen to this." " What?" " "Dancer found dead in the bathtub, lover charged because he couldn't remember where he was the night of the murder."" "That's bad, he should have remembered." " The murder happened six moths ago!" " So?" " I'd like to see what you'd have done!" " I remember where I was six months ago." " Say it!" "Where're you on the night of..." " The night of...?" "January, 20th!" " Of...?" " January, 20th, night." "Of January, 20th, well...?" "December, January, 20." "First, at the exit of the variete with you, then at the cafe, 22:20 in bed." "Please, check it." " Let me see." " Please." "Let me see!" "Here, check it." "And you write everything down?" "Every day?" "Every day, it might seem useless, but if I'm on trial tomorrow, I can always answer." "Please." " That notepad is useless." " Don't you say!" "I do say it." "Tomorrow the police arrives all of a sudden at your house... .. and they arrest you for the murder of the dancer." " No, no." " Alright, it's an error," " but they throw you in jail all the same." " No!" " No!" " Yes!" "First of all, nobody enters my house, if they don't have an arrest warrant," " because I wouldn't open!" " They bring the door down." " I'm innocent!" " They fling you inside all the same, and then they talk." "No, they don't fling me inside, because I'm a free citizen." " Lower your voice." " No, I can speak loud, because I'm a citizen of the Republic, I pay my taxes and they don't arrest me!" " They arrest you, they arrest you." " What're you saying?" " They arrest you!" " Who, me?" " But there's no motive!" " If there's no motive, they arrest you all the same." " O, yes?" " Yes!" "Then, if you've got that far, I'll take a bomb, throw it and blow everything up!" " Who's throwing the bomb?" " Who is it, chief?" "Young man?" "I'm talking to you, come here." " You're talking to me?" " Yes, to you, to you." " I have to catch the tram." " Let us see your papers." "If I may," " I'm their office..." " It doesn't concern you!" "Papers, please." "The identity card." "We were saying throw the bomb, but only like this, theoretically." "Because he said a an arrest warrant was needed." "This has expired." "Because my father's dead, I live with my aunt." "If you say it's expired, I'll renew it." " Look carefully, Sir, has it expired?" " Yes, yes, it has expired!" "It doesn't have a stamp." "I said so, you know, show it to me." "I said so, if it's ben established a stamp is needed, I'll have one put." "Besides, it was his." "What kind of gift is it, without a stamp?" " Dottore, you tell him." " Excuse me." "What's this?" " The stamp?" " Alright, alright." "But watch your language and leave bombs alone, especially at this hour." " Good evening." " Good evening, dottore." "Damn!" "Why didn't he ask for your papers too?" "You say you're cautious, and then you start shouting: "I'll throw a bomb"!" "No, it's you who have provoked me!" "I'd punish myself, you can't go out at nights!" "What're you doing?" "I'm going home, what about you?" "Good night." "I won't go out with that one anymore!" "He's so scared, he even frightens me." "When I'm around him, I'm never at ease, I don't know!" " He influences me." " He influences you?" "I only have to think about this winter, in Venice, we went on a tour, we were on the steamer and out of the blue he shouts: "Help, help!"" "Everyone jumps overboard; the accountant gets three months in bed with pneumonia." " And then the manager drowns." " What had happened?" "Nothing!" "We could never understand." " Wool underwear in May!" " You know he wears it until July." "August, September..." "Good evening!" " May I?" " Please, please." "Here it is. 10,000 for the rent," " 240 for the 12 phone calls." " There were 14!" "O, 14, here it is." " Does it settle it?" " Yes, it's fine, thank you." " Open up, police!" " O, my God, Clotilde!" " What can the police want!" "?" " Open up, or I'll break the door!" "Break it!" "Open." "Don't be afraid." "Did I scare you?" "Why do you frighten us like this, Alberto?" "To teach you, you already are mistaken;" "at night, you don't open to anyone." "You must say: "D'you have an arrest warrant?" That's what you must say!" "You're joking, but today they've served us with the eviction order." " Eviction?" " In three moths." "We don't go out anymore, and we barricade ourselves in the house." " And they'll throw tear gas bombs." " And I'll throw the fragmentation bomb!" " I'm not at all joking!" " Don't play the anarchist as uncle Ernesto did." "Like who?" "What d'you mean, poor uncle Ernesto was so kind..." " Oh, good evening!" " Oh, good night." " You mean uncle Ernesto was an anarchist?" " Eh!" " He wanted to kill the king!" " His majesty?" "Poor soul, they'd put him inside every time the king went out in his carriage." "You have to tell me everything, I must be sure I'm alright." "Maybe I've inherited some kind of instincts from uncle Ernesto." "I was stopped by the police tonight because I said: "I'll throw a bomb!"" " The police stopped you?" " Gracious God, the police!" "You must tell me everything, about relatives, aunts, everyone!" "Today a word's enough to put you into trouble." " Is the eggy ready?" "Come on!" " Yes, it's ready." "Here it is." "The hammer." " Has the manager already got in?" " Yes." "I'll go in through the shop then, thanks." " I'll go in through the shop, I'm late." " Comrade, the door's always open for you." "Comrade, what comrade, what's he rambling about!" "?" "Why the familiarity?" "!" "Show a dog a finger, and he wants the whole hand." " Dottore, could you please sign this?" " What is it?" " A protest against microphones." " Why get me into trouble, I'm on your side!" "Everyone has signed it, you're the only one left." "Take a cigarette and forget about the signature." " I'll come back later!" " Come later, and I'll give you another one." "Answering your letter from the 15th of the current..." " X, 2..." " Any news?" "One moment, eh!" "2 X, 2." "Put me with 10, Balestrazzi with 5," " and the usher with 2." " The usher." " And you?" " No, not me." " Any news?" " Your office manager was looking for you." " Is she angry?" " She's excited." " Excited..." " It seems the body of her husband is on it's way." "Good day, dottore!" "How're you?" "Dandy." "You know, Alberto, I've got news you'll also be pleased about." "After 5 years of fighting the bureaucracy, the body of my husband..." " .. has arrived in Brennero." " Great, congratulation, I'm happy, dottore." "Five years is a lot of time for the nerves of a woman." " Mr. Menichetti." " My God, who is it?" "This morning also you were 10 minutes late." "No, Sir, I had sent him on an errand." "Alright." "How lucky of me to have you to look over me, dottore." " That beard, Alberto!" " I've got tough skin." "You could never go into diplomacy, my husband used to shave it even twice a day." "As did all those in the delegation in Bucarest." "Hello?" "The undertakers." "Alo!" "?" "Hello?" "Madame De Ritis speaking." " No, of course!" " I'm listening" " There's dust, take the duster." " The little rag?" "The coffin's in Brennero?" "Yes?" "It already has been cleared." "What a relief." "Yes, free port, I understand." "I don't want anything to happen like the last time." "It had already arrived in Brennero and it was sent back to Bucarest." "But listen, dear Sir, the zinc case wasn't in the estimate, if I'm not wrong." " O, my!" " Yes, but, still, 10,000 more..." " What thieves!" " Patience." " Write!" " I write." "Yes, the body will arrive..." " The body..." " On the 17th, with the 6:25 express, platform 8." "Very well, thank you." " Madame De Ritis?" " Yes, Sir." "Did a warehouse-keeper ask you to sign a protest against microphones?" " No, Sir." " Fine." "Anyway, try finding out who has signed it, then we'll see about it." "Everybody has, with my exception." " If you want, I can name the names, Lucidi, Balestrazzi..." " Enough!" "Can I go, Sir?" "Give me the scissors." "I had just got on the tram, and what d'you think he does?" " What?" " He puts his hand here!" " Do you get me, this geezer!" " And you?" " You know, he must have been at least 40!" " What nerve!" " And this must be the '56 model?" " Yes, Sir, lobbia style, for the next year." "That's not it, it seems like a model from fifty years ago." "Our opinion is, Sir, that fashion goes and comes around." "We can't trust our opinions." "How many have you made?" "This is the first one, Sir." "Before mass-producing it, we should find out how the public reacts to it." "We could repeat the experiment with the floppy Tyrolian, d'you remember, Sir?" " Of course I do, what measure is it?" " 60, Sir." " Human resources department?" " Yes." "Check if any of our employees wears a 60 hat size and let me know." "Fine." "Close it!" "Dottore!" " I knew you'd be here." " I came here for something urgent, it's not mine, there were 11 smoking, Balestrazzi gave it to me." "Lower your head!" " Like for confessing a sin." " Like for confessing nothing." " Lower your head." " Lower?" " Well,now..." " Half a centimeter more." "What do you mean, more?" " Orders from above." " O God!" " Pull yourself together." " Pull..." "Pull myself together." " O my God, what is it all about?" " Did they take your measurements also?" " The head?" "You also?" " Yes, you, me, Balestrazzi." " Why?" " Boh!" "What d'you mean boh, they're measuring our heads!" "What am I, I'm an employee, I'm no slave!" "I have the right to know why they're measuring my head!" " Why is more than 60 bad?" " Il Duce had 59 and he was the man that he was." "Don't mention Il Ventennio, elections are coming!" "But had he won the war..." "He goes on, and on..." "I'm sorry, Sir, it's forbidden posting there." "Now I'm posting it, and if someone puts it down, I'll crush his head." "Everyone's after my head this evening!" "Look, look, the hairdresser's coming!" "Mamma mia!" " Who?" " You know her, take her home." "Watch me." "I'll stop her." " Good evening, Miss Marcella, how're you?" " Fine, thank you." "Let me introduce you to my 2 slaves, my employees." " Aurelio Bilancia." " Glad to meet you." " Dottor Pedocchi." " Glad to meet you." " Lucky you." " Dottore, are you heading home?" "If I'm heading... really..." "How come, alone?" "Got nervous, I was at the cinema with a guy and he starts moving his hands." " What d'you mean, where to?" " Relax!" "Isn't it a disgusting vice!" "I says: "Stop it, take off your hands." "Put your hands in your pockets!"" "Nothing, he just goes on." "Then I hit him, and now I have to go home alone." " Are you afraid?" " A little, will you come with me?" "Really, we were having a conference." " A pity." " We were..." " If you allow me, I'll accompany you." " I don't allow it!" "You can't, you're having a conference." " Don't push it!" " Goodbye." "Goodbye." "What d'you say?" "Should I have accompanied her?" " What're you waiting for?" " What's there to think about?" " Stay calm!" " Go for it!" " Let me think." " About what?" "!" " Admit you don't want to go." " I don't want to go, ok?" "You could have said so, I'd have gone." "Don't you say so!" "I've been cultivating her for 3 years, and you want to cut in!" " Why don't you go with her, then?" " Why, why..." "Would you go with someone who's underage?" " She's underage?" " She isn't 18 yet." "D'you know what?" "I'd have gone." "Why should I take any chances?" "I'm lucky to be patient, and that one, next year, she'll be 18," " and I'll go for her without any risks." " Alberto!" "You saw how she looked at me, I'll steal her away from you." " You'll do what?" " I'll steal her." "O, you'll do that?" "Fine, upon my word, the first time I'll meet her, I'll steal her." " Good night." " So long." "I'm a slob, but he'll steal my foot, he hasn't washed in three moths." " Didn't he build himself a bath at Easter?" " Yes, I saw it." "He stacked inside heaps of newspapers, the books, the suitcase, the buggy," " so admit you don't want to take a bath!" " To me you're telling it?" "!" "I have him in my office!" " Drive him out!" " And where do I put him?" " With the widow." " Impossible." "Talk to the manager and have me transferred into your office." " Say I'm indispensable." " The widow's in love with you." "She swore on her husband's body she won't remarry!" "What does she want from me?" "I'll talk to the manager tomorrow." " But, carefully." " Carefully." " Don't worry, I'll take care of it." " No!" "Maybe it's better we left." " Yes." " Yes." " What does the manager want?" " Well?" "He will propose for you to wear a hat he wants you to test." " Do you remember the Tyrolian hat?" " He can't make us wear it," " I won't wear it." " It's enough for us all to agree." " We'll refuse." " Do we agree?" " Yes." " All say, we'll refuse." " We'll refuse, that's it?" " We'll refuse!" "Come in." "Come on, take a seat, please." "Please." " Coffee?" " Thank you, very nice of you." "4 coffees." "I've summoned you for a private matter." "Let it be clear, you're free, very free, even, to refuse." " There's a new model, if anyone..." " Me, Sir!" " Me." " Thank you." "The others can leave." "Please, go." "Cancel the 4 coffees." " Sir, if need be..." " It isn't, I'm here." "Right away." " Magnificent!" " Yes, it's nice, take it." " My pleasure." " Wear this for a couple of months." " At the cinema, the theater, the bar." " Even in bed, Sir." "Watch the effect it has on people, and write me a report every week." " A nice report." " Go." " Can I leave?" " Go." "Thank you." "You deserve it, moron!" " What do you wear on your head, a coffee pot?" " Good afternoon." "You look like a minister." "Where did you find it?" "Why, don't you like it?" "Lobbia style." "Take it off, it doesn't suit you!" "Me, I like it, and even if I didn't..." "He's mad..." "Dottore Pedocchi?" " Hasn't the office manager arrived yet?" " He has, he's already in he rest room." " Yes?" " What're you doing, you come here to smoke?" " Smoking..." "I'm studying the coupon!" " Did you talk to the manager?" "Yes, but he put everything in the hands of the widow." " What happened?" " She got mad, she understood you don't want to be there, and there's some talk about termination." " Eh." " O my God!" " Close the door, please." " Yes." "Yes, she got it." "Good day, dottore." "Any news about the body?" "Wiping the dust." " How's the hat?" " Here it is." "Fine, Sir." "Soft, fluffy, light, well ventilated." "People look, turn, ask me." "There was an incident this morning." " Anyone laughing?" " Some." " Alright, continue the experiment." " Yes, Sir." "Soft, fluffy, light, well ventilated." "I'm a slave, the slave of a lobbia." "May I, Madam?" "The estimate for transportation your husband from the station to the cemetery." "What're you doing, tearing it?" "I shaved really close." "It won't be necessary anymore." " From today, you don't work here anymore." " They've moved me in another department." "I doubt they need you in another department." " You're letting me go?" " They told me you chose freedom." "They told you." "If you fire me, I'll do something rash." "Dottore, I'll throw myself from the window." "You see, dottore, I'm looking out of the window." " We are at the first floor." " So what?" " You fly low, captain Spaventa." " Even from the first floor, I can get fractures." " It'll be a hard fall." " Listen, Alberto." "I imagine myself as being a sharp psychologist." "Look into my eyes." "Such disloyalty on that babyface." "Ah, I'm not loyal?" "May I smile?" "Only abroad have I met really loyal men, real gentlemen." " Don't talk to me about chivalry in Italy." " Dottore!" "So, we've lived together for three years without understanding each other?" "But you're latin Alberto, it's so easy figuring out a latino, kid's stuff." "So what?" "I'm latin, but I'm loyal." "Exactly because I want to be loyal to this man, to this poor body." "He was stuck in Brennero and we just couldn't free it, remember?" "Believe me, dottor De Ritis!" "May I know why you want to leave my office?" "May I know..." "Yes, because you're a woman, dottore." " You're a woman, and I can't resist you." " O yes, Menichetti." "Let's be clear about it:" "I'd have wanted to be only a good friend for you." "Allow me to laugh." "A friend!" "I can't live all day long with a woman to whom I'm attracted, and whom I can't love because I've taken an oath!" "Well, more or less." "Have I made myself understood?" "In Bucarest, in the diplomatic corps," "I was considered a rather cold woman." "Cold!" "What do they know in Bucarest!" "You are passionate, you're latin, as I am." "Idiocies." "Then, dottore, can it be that you're not aware of your charm?" " There're times when I can barely resist embracing you." " Words..." "Words?" "Excuse me." "Words, she says." "Who is it?" "Mr. Menichetti, I'll be waiting for your resignation before the end of the month." "Sir, it was moment of disbandment for which I'm to blame." " Yes." " The boy is innocent." " I'm young." " Anyway, two lovers are not welcome in our company." "Before the end of the month, one of you two will present me with his resignation." "Sir, I must wear the hat." "A head like yours shouldn't be difficult to find." "I hope you'll be the one to resign, madame is a widow and without any means." "Sir, then I'll tell you everything!" "In every department, everyone's got a lover." "Balestrazzi with Fiocchetti, Baldini with Santoni," " in "Outward Goods" there're four with a hag!" " I'm not interested." "Balducci has two daughters, and whom with?" "Ask Biondoni, how Dottore Maggio's doing." "My husband used to like airy, light colored clothes." "He met me when I was a girl." " D'you hear the swallows?" " Yes, Madam, but I can't appreciate them because, tomorrow, one of us will be fired." "As a matter of fact, here's your resignation letter, will you sign it?" "Here's his grave!" "Beautiful, airy, cheerful." " Evviva, Rudi!" " Evviva, Rudi." "That's how we greeted each other." " Will you sit down?" " Chair, please." " Off with the hat from the grave." " I'm sorry." "What're you doing?" "Do you want to confer with the corpse before signing?" "Yes, I'd like to focus, to confer a little with Rudi, listen to his wishes." "You know, he has always led me by the hand." ""Rodolfo De Ritis, diplomat. "" ""Severed in his prime. "" "Severed?" "How did he die?" "While he was lighting a cigarette." "he didn't even realize it, didn't even feel the hit." " The hit?" " An accident, while boar hunting." " What a pity, a great man." " The gladioli, please." "How distinguished he was;" "did you love each other?" "There always was some kind of incommunicability between us, imagine Rodolfo spoke 7 languages, but was still a taciturn." "We've really started talking only, after his death." " Incredible, isn't it?" " Why incredible?" "Look, he seems alive." "What's he doing, looking at us?" "What do you want to tell us, you know, there's nothing to reproach us, Rodolfo." "Water!" " Water, Alberto." " Water?" "They're thirsty, poor things." "Right away." "The pots first?" " Please." " Did you see who's here, dottore, a senator." "Yes, I've also noticed a countess there, chic, isn't it?" "Chic, damn it." " Alberto, give me the letter." " Yes." " You want to sign it." " Yes." " I've understood he approves." " Without any doubt." "And I'm sure you'll be grateful." " What will you do now, get a transfer?" " No, I'll stay." "I need so little." "I have lots of clothes from the good times." "I don't pay any rent because I'm the guest of a consulate." " Then..." " Then, I'm happy not to have to eat." " You don't eat?" " No." "2 cups of tea, one at five and one at ten, 2 slices of toast." " It saves money." " I survive a lot on sheer will power, my nerves support me." "I don't consume, Alberto." "Better like this." " I live on 22,000 lire a month." " Not much, these days." "Thank you, Alberto." "I was sure you wouldn't refuse it." "Sure about what?" "Who told you?" "I can't, I get a 40,000 lire a month salary." "Then no, Alberto, it's me who has to give up something." " Give me 18,000." " How..." "Every month, promise." " Can we settle with 15?" " It means giving up a tea." "Give up the tea, I've got two old women who have to eat." "15,000 lire a month?" "But, then, you feed her like she was your wife." "Yes, but I didn't lose my job." "She got fired and doesn't give a damn." " I don't want to see her anymore!" " Careful, Alberto, be careful." "That woman's capable of everything." "D'you know how her husband died?" "Yes, an accident at a boar hunt, why?" "She says she wants to shoot the boar, and, instead," " she shot the husband, isn't it?" " What d'you mean, shot the husband?" "Acquitted for lack of evidence, Balestrazzi's even got the press clippings" "Now that she's left the office, we can tell you." "She shot her husband, besides the boar." "Who has says she meant to kill her husband?" "Listen, dear Alberto, when you shoot for a boar, you kill the boar, not the husband, believe me." "Ori, cards, seven of diamonds, I take everything." "Everything's yours, I'm not following the game, my mind's not here!" "Excuse me, Alberto, but are you sure the husband's death wasn't an accident?" "All these could be only malicious rumours, don't you think?" "Don't you want to understand that Balestrazzi has the press clippings?" " Did you see them?" " No, but I believe it, because she's a fateful woman, driven by jealousy." " D'you know what I am afraid of?" " No." "That she's in love with me." " O my God!" " O my God, what happened?" "!" "The fire, a fire broke out!" "What?" " A fire!" " Found it at last." " What?" "The spaghetti?" " Spaghetti my foot!" "That's dynamite." " You wanted to blow everything up?" " Eh!" " Where did you find it?" " In the cellar." "You told me to search the house." "We're throwing her out!" "I'm giving you eight days' notice!" " Get lost!" " You owe me 42 years of back payments." "I'll eat your house if you throw me out." "Stay calm, it was uncle Arcangelo's." "Didn't you tell me that uncle Arcangelo was cautious?" " He was your spitting image." " What was he doing with this stuff?" " He was fishing." " He used to fill a paintpot with this powder, he blew it up in the river, and all the fish came floating belly up." "God knows how much fish we used to eat!" " I'll strangle you!" " Don't play the fool." " I'll open the gas and lock you both in there." " Monster!" "You wanted to do me in with dynamite!" " I'll take it to the Gunnery Headquaters." " Give me this box!" "You're two demons!" " I'll kill you both!" " Let's turn the gas off." "He wanted to take it to the Gunnery Headquarters." "The army has kept you away from this treacherous device." " I'll make this dynamite disappear." " Mamma mia what a scare!" " Dottore?" " Yes?" "What happened to you, did you fall from the bed?" " I'm an early riser." " Give me a hand, please." "A hand?" "That's it." " Are you sure it's unlocked?" " Of course it is." " Got it?" " I've got a small hernia." " Really?" " Yes, but I've got it from birth." " Why don't you have surgery?" " The hernia got me out of service," "If I have surgery, I'll have to enlist, I'd be a lieutenant in reserve." "Cavalry." "Goodbye." " What are you doing on Sunday?" " On Sunday?" " Will you take me to the foot match?" " Why the foot match?" " Is there a reason?" " No, I like it, I always go." "As I'm alone on Sunday, and it even is my birthday." "17, if I'm not wrong." " What d'you mean 17, dottore, 18!" " 18!" "You tricked me, you told me you'd be 17." "It was just like that, I was joking." " Then, I'll come." " Then, I'll see you on Sunday." " See you." " Goodbye, dottore." "She's turning 18, the rascal!" " Go away, go to work!" " Give me a biscuit, only one." "Go away!" " Leave me alone, you always pick on me." " It's the second time you get caught." " You're making a mistake." " Some mistake, move." " Have you got a match?" " Yes, sure, a match!" "Young man, have you got a match?" "Young man, stop for a moment, wait." " Wait." " You're talking to me?" "Yes." " What're you doing here?" " Your lady wanted a match." " What have you got here?" " I was throwing it into the water." " May I throw it?" " What is it?" " A dead cat." " Show me." "Yes." " Dead cat my foot, this is explosive!" " Explosive?" "What did you want to do, you terrorist?" "You wanted to blow up the bridge?" " Shut up, you don't know what you're saying." " Come with me to the precinct." " I had an uncle who used to kill fish with it." " You'll explain at the precinct." "Wanting to get rid of it, he was trying to throw it into the river." "Why didn't you come here to report it?" " Am I not here, Sir?" " Sure, because you got busted." "My said aunt said, go to the precinct." "I'm going, but if then I can't explain it, and get in trouble with the police?" "The role of the police is not to get you into trouble." " If you need it, it's there to protect you." " O, yes, Sir." "After all, it's true I've always been protected by the police." "When I walk on the street and I see many policemen around me," "I say to myself:" "Better like this, I'm at ease, there's the police to protect me." "Why don't you increase the police corps, Sir?" "Menichetti Ernesto, anarchist, under special surveillance." "Menichetti Ernesto, this is my uncle, but we've disowened him, he was thrown out of the house, and died abandoned." " Shall I write it down?" " Yes, write it down." "No." "Sir, I didn't say, I'll throw a bomb, like this, literally," "I said it like theoretically," "I'd throw a bomb." "Ah, you're the one shouting: "I'll throw a bomb!" in front of Adua's bar..." " Shall I write it down?" " Yes, write it down." "You hadn't realised that?" "I declare being... .. the same person..." "Wait." ".. who on the evening of..." " Of the 12th of May, Sir." " Thank you." " You see, here it says the truth." " Alright, alright." " Of the 12th of May." " On the 12th had threatened to throw a bomb, etc, etc..." "Let him read it and sign it." " Theoretically." " Let him read it and sign it." "There were three of us, Sir, that evening." "Me, Gustavo Pedocchi, our office manager, and Aurelio Bilancia one of my colleagues, employee." "Sign here!" " Do I have to sign?" " Sign here!" "The truth is it was Pedocchi who shouted: "I'll throw a bomb. "" " Sir?" " Yes?" "Do I really have to sign it?" "Because my daddy told me, with his dying words, never to sign..." "This is an interrogation report that you have to sign." " Legible, isn't it?" " Legible." "Is it serious?" " And now, Sir?" " For now, you can go, if you want." "What do you mean, "for now"?" "If you talk like this, I can't sleep, Sir." "Don't worry, it's only a charge without arrest." "And you aren't telling me anything!" "Wthout arrest like my anarchist uncle." "I'm not into politics, I'm neither of the left or the right." "I wouldn't like anyone to think I'm of the center, as a matter of fact." "I didn't even vote." " Don't you know that voting is your duty?" " I perform my duty." "During the last strike, we were all united, like a granite rock." " And?" " We all went to work." "These are things that don't interest me." "I already know what I need." "On nights you go around shouting:" ""I'll throw a bomb!"" "Few days later you're found under a bridge with dynamite." "If a bomb is thrown in front of an embassy, in a meeting, in party headquarters, whom am I to be thinking of?" " Of me, Sir?" " At least you've got it." "And now, beat it." "Is this how things stand, that I can only turn to Baby Jesus, to not throw a bomb, Sir?" " Can I go home?" " Go home." "Thank you." "Where're you going?" " Where's the exit?" " That way." "And you wanted to go to the stadium." "Aren't we better here than at the stadium?" "You'd say the Mississippi, look!" "Go away, kids!" "What're you doing, playing with fire?" "Go away!" "Don't you have a mother?" "Go to her!" "Scram!" "In the end, what difference is there between the Mississippi and the Tiber?" "Two rivers, identical." "Only that on the Mississippi you got canoes with niggers singing the old cotton songs, that's what we're missing here, the niggers!" "The nigger element, with his voice." " What're you doing?" "You're sleeping!" " You put me to sleep with your organ." "Today you've turned 18, you know?" "Allow me to ask you a question." "It'll embarass you a little, but be honest with me." "Don't lie to me." "What're you saying, dottore!" "I think of you as at a brother, a father, an uncle, that's why I came here." " I tell you everything." " And that's how it should be." " Have you ever kissed anyone?" " Dottore, I'm pregnant!" "Stupid, what're you doing, making fun of me?" " Rascal, are you kidding me?" " Who's kidding, I'll have a baby." " Whose?" " Fernando." "Who's Fernando, I don't know him, a monster!" "He hurt you, statutory rape, you go to prison for these things!" " Gimme his address so I send him to prison!" " We love each other," " we want to get married." " Then this Fernando really exists." " And it's me you're telling these things?" " Whom else?" "Poor Fernando, he already has so many worries, and, what's more, he's unemployed." " Why don't you find him a job?" " I'm to find him a job?" "!" "You're office manager, that's why I came with you." " because Fernando's unemployed." " It means he doesn't want to work." "It isn't true, he has tried." " So long!" " Why don't you take him in the shop?" " Bye, beauty!" " He's strong, he has a back like this, look." " He's strong?" "You say he's strong?" " Yes." "But, does he know you're here with me?" "Are you joking?" "If he knew, jealous as he is, you know..." "Then you're doing it on purpose, you want to get me into trouble." "It's not possible, I'm already running away from one person, a lady who's... .. following me, who's jealous, who, among other things, I've come to know, has shot her husband already." "I come with you, I take refuge close to an unexperienced girl, who doesn't know anything, and that's why I love her, I like her, and I find out she's expecting, that she's in love with Fernando," "a big one, jealous, unemployed, who'll kill me if he sees us together, then admit you always want to scare me in this life..." "Damn you, you and your father who sets you loose with bombs, so that the officer'll think I'm guilty, but, before that, I'll kill you!" " Hey, moron, let's see who're you going to kil!" " Here he is." "Let's see who're you going to kill!" " I'm sorry, Sir, I was..." " You're a nitwit!" "Moron, why don't you keep an eye on him," " instead of sending him around, making trouble!" " I don't even know her." "If I come down I'll smash your mug, yours and that stupid white corsair's!" "Come here if you've got the guts, come and fight!" " Give me the stick." " What're you doing, runinng away?" " And you aren't?" "Don't you see him?" " O God, let's go!" "Run, quickly, he's coming!" " Could have fallen." " Why are you running, cuckold!" " Row, we're drifting!" " Damn you!" " Be patient, I don't know these surroundings." " What are you talking about!" " May you drown!" " Sorry, Sir, that's my transistor." " I'll be back when you've cooled off." " Here's your transistor!" " Stay calm, I'll give myself up!" " You're running away from that one?" " Didn't you see the back he had?" " Fernando'd have smashed his face!" "Enough with Fermando!" "You've come with me, and you go on talking about him!" "I'm not Fernando, I've got a situation to uphold in life." " What's going to happen to us now?" " I don't know, we are in danger." " Dive." " I can't swim!" " You dive." " Move, go and bring the clothes." " You go." " I'll go." " He's kind with women, he won't hurt you." " You're a moron." "Don't forget the transistor, call for help." "What happened?" "Comrades!" "At last, the strike against microphones has been called." "This time, the demonstration must succeed like a granite rock." "Even clerks will have to join our demonstration." " Here's dottor Menichetti." " Good afternoon." " Good afternoon, dottore." " Good afternoon, my dear." " Spread them around, they're manifestos." " I must spread them around?" " You're one of ours, dottore!" " Yes." " We're counting on you, dottore." " Sure, sure." "Death to scabs!" "All together like a granite rock we must be." "Only if we'll be united like one we will..." " Wait..." " Who is it?" "We'll be able to take this coffin outside." "Come boys, all together!" "I took her and threw her on the bank of the Tiber." " How's she looking in a bathing suit?" " Long-legged," " thin ankle." " What did you do on the bank?" "Don't make me tell you, we went skinny-dipping, that's what we did!" "Now that I've reached my goal, I'm setting her free." " You mean that, me also, a bath...?" " Of course." "She'll surely go for it, I don't know what else to tell you." " Alright, but what about the widow?" " The widow?" "I wouldn't joke about it!" " Well, are we going on strike?" " Do we have permission?" " I don't care..." " Here he is." "Do you know what that moron of a manager said?" " How's the hat?" " Great, Sir." "Soft, fluffy, light, airy." "People look, turn around, ask me, some laugh." " Tomorrow you'll make the report." " But isn't it a holiday tomorrow?" " Do you also want to go on strike?" " It's the warehouse-keepers that force us." "I won't name any names, but Colucci, the senior warehouse-keeper..." " I'll be waiting for you tomorrow at 9:00." " At 8:45 I'm yours, Sir." " What am I to do now?" " Whatever you want." " You're in trouble." " I'm in trouble." "Alberto!" "What?" " What have you decided?" " I'm not going, I'll go on strike." "All united, then I'll go on strike also." "Good night." "Tomorrow I'm going to work, but I bet my head I'll find him there." "I have to go, you understand, seeing my situation, what do you..." "And there's Balestrazzi who'd love to take my position." " If I go on strike..." " Sure, it's obvious." "The hairdresser!" "Look at me now, look at me." "Miss, wait, I'll help you." "Let me do it, please." "Please, allow me." " Thank you." " It was nothing." "May I?" "Aurelio Bilancia, glad to meet you." " Haven't we met already?" " Well, yes." "Miss, have you got a friend?" "Why?" "Well, maybe we could go for a little spin the four of us." "There's a little place on the Tiber..." " Tell me what your friend has told you." " No, miss, don't misunderstand us!" "We'll grab a bite, drink a glass of sparkling wine, dance." " And then?" " Skinny-dip, like the french." "That's an advance payment." "And I'll also tell my Fernando." "He'll smash your heads, yours and that jerk of a friend of yours." "When we had a king, strikes were forbidden." " To the wall all those that go on strike!" " You shut up!" "Ah, if only we had a king..." "What're you trying to do?" "I'll break your arm?" "You don't think I will?" "Be a good boy, go to work." "Sure, and be the only one who goes." "It's better, the manager sees you, remembers it, and gives you a raise." "And the unloaders, who's going to stop them?" "The unloaders will behave themselves because the riot police will come." "Sure, and a revolution will break out and the police chief will take it on me." "Once and for all, can't you understand that I'm charged without arrest?" "Charged without arrest, that's how I am!" "Say you're sick." " Did you come up with this?" " Yes." "Damn!" "Of course, I'll say I'm sick!" " Give me the key to the padlock!" " Here I am, here I am." "Hello?" " Good evening, Sir, am I intruding?" " Speak, speak." " Tomorrow I can't come to work." " You can't or you won't?" "I can't, Sir, I've got a hernia attack." " Again the hernia?" " The same one, Sir." " Is it such a serious attack?" " Yes, Sir." "I'm writhing in bed in agony." "It's like a knife cutting through my bowels." "Don't move then, lay in bed." "Yes, it may be strangulated." "Let me take care of everything." "He'll take care of everything?" "Take care of what?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "The hospital?" "Put me through to the doctor on duty, please." "I phoned, and all hell broke loose." "Do you understand?" "What can I do?" "They've got me!" "Did you see how quickly they brought me here?" "I'm in the company's hands, now." "Shut up!" " St. Anthony, I'm not afraid." " Shut up!" "Listen to her!" "The prayers for the dead!" "The manager's watching me." "I'm forced to have surgery, how could I avoid it?" "Since you're here, do your appendicitis also." "Shut up, you shut up!" "You want to see me dead, don't you?" "Look here, look." "A surgeon forgot the scissors in a patient's belly." "D'you get it?" "That's the kind of hands I'm in!" "Damn, I'll pull your hair off!" " It's Mrs. De Ritis, shall I let her through?" " Let her through." "Give me 3,000 lire." "3,000." "Go away, now!" "Take her away, take her away!" "Go!" "Go!" "Saint Anthony, wise him up!" " Hi, kiddie." " Hi, dottore." " Sweets." " Thank you." " Did you get your flat?" " Yes, thank you." "Only 12,000, 3,000 missing, nothing important." "Must have been an error, well, here's the 3,000, anyway." " I'll put it here, aren't you looking?" " What an airy room!" " I'll put it here, is it alright?" " So much light!" "May I open it?" "Can you hear the swallows?" " At your orders, dottore." " Beautiful day, full of sunshine." "A day for a boat outing on the Tiber." "What's with this allusion to a boat outing?" "Didn't you ever go on a boat outing on the Tiber?" "Well, yes, I was dragged there, without me being aware." "But I won't fall for that again!" "What, what're you doing to me?" "We'll give you a nice little injection, and then a nice little cut." " Are you putting me to sleep?" " Local anethesia, only here." "It's better not to put me to sleep, I'm calmer awake." "And then, if you do it tomorrow, never even, I'd be much better, sister." "Such a kiddie!" "Imagine I've had five operations and I'll do it all over again." "It's so reposing." "Stay calm and think of your fiancee, who's here, waiting for you." " Who's going to operate on me?" " Professor Bracci, assited by his son." "Did you know I went to school with the Salesians?" " Bravo!" " Yes, the monks loved me alright." "You and your mother are driving me mad, why did you tell her to go to Cortina?" " I'm sorry, dad." " Yes, sure, you're sorry!" "I've been operating for 6 hours and I'm exhausted and you can only apologise." "Don't you understand I have to operate and I must have peace?" "Excuse me, is that one professor Bracci?" " Has he quarreled with his son?" " Stay calm, don't worry." "Is he very nervous?" "I hope his hand won't be shaking." " Sister, let's pray." " Come on." "Easy." "Is this very simple surgery?" "Let's hope it'll be over quickly." "I'm off at 18:00, and he'll be waiting for me with the new 600." "Silence, the professor." " What is this?" " For your heart beats." "Is it serious?" "Is he going to operate on me?" "Come on, gloves!" "Come on, quickly!" "The gloves!" "Won't these be the ones?" "I found them, professor." "Straight scissors." "I'm feeling weak." "Flat scalpel." " I said the flat one!" " Oh!" "Is he cutting me?" "Stay calm, it's already been done." "My throat's dry." "What?" "Help, what's happening?" "What's the matter, is it broken?" "It's a design flaw." "May I?" " Are you sure it's not something wrong with my heart?" " Stay calm." " I'm not at all calm." " Don't worry." " Am I in danger?" " No." "May I?" "And the scissors?" "What do you mean you've run out?" "Short scalpel." " Is it the same one, dad?" " I said the short one." "Do what daddy tells you." "Do what daddy says, he said the short one, you give him the short one." "Silence!" "I'll be silent, but you do what daddy says he's much more experienced than you." " Mask!" " Damn, what's the matter?" "D'you want to suffocate me?" "I want to enjoy life." "If I make it, I want to enjoy life." "Mamma mia look what's coming, look at them!" " Mamma mia, mamma mia!" " Stay calm, stay calm." "Nice, nice." " Dottor Pedocchi?" " What?" " Count the third one from the right." " Where?" "That one, the one with bangs." "I can't make up my mind between the little one and the one with the ponytail." " The one with the ponytail." " I'll go for the tall one." "No, I've seen her first!" "Even the masked one..." "Alright, I'll leave the tall one to you, and I'll take the rest." "You can even take the tall one, one's enough." " Shall we go smarten ourselves up a little?" " Are you sure?" "Yes, we've got half an hour, let's go." "What do you mean no?" "Did you take a bath?" " Yes, on Friday." " D'you know what day is today?" " But you can't every day..." " Then, I won't take you to the dancers, if you don't take a bath first." "Am I right, dottor Pedocchi?" "Of course." "Let's go, we'll be just in time for dinner." "Another go?" "Here." " Is it perfumed?" " Violet perfume." " What?" " Your toe's out." " Does it show?" " Yes, it shows." "Spray." " Ready?" "Clotilde?" " Who is it?" "It's me, listen what happened to me." "Tonight I must go to dinner with my superiors and I've got a hole in my sock." " Where's the hole?" " At the thumb." " Then it doesn't show." " It doesn't show, but I'm cold." " Resist." " Impossible." "I'm ashamed, d'you understand my embarrassment?" "Buy a new pair of socks." " And wear them over the old ones?" " Take them off." "Put them in a pocket of your raincoat." "By the way, they cost 300 lire, don't throw them away." " Was it your idea?" " Yes." "Please, Madam." "My turn?" "9. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9." "It's you, dottore, you do it." "Must I be the first one?" "Yes, as soon as the dancers come out, you, who speak English, you stop them." "Then it's my turn." "Let's do it the other way round." "You go, then I, who am a master of the lingo, I pick them up." " Where's your torn sock?" " I made a pack, I couldn't just throw them." "If they get mistaken for the pasta packs the hell of a look we'll have!" "Yes, let everyone hear: he changed his socks!" "You left the old ones at home?" " The dancers, go!" " The dancers, the dancers!" " You go first." " No, you first." " Come on, you two go." " Courage!" "I don't speak English, what am I to tell them?" "Oh, excuse me, sorry." " It's because of the socks." " I knew you'll ruin everything!" "What are you waiting for to throw away those socks, for 300 lire..." "What am I waiting for?" "The monogram on the socks, that's why." " Excuse me, Sir." " What is it?" "Know you, Lucula rave?" "Lucullo's cave?" "Yes, go straight ahead, tree-lined street, there Nero's tomb." " Nero, yes, yes." " Yes, yes." "Go on straight, attention, right flank, after Tiber." " Tiber, yes, yes." " Yes, yes, there is." "Can I go with you?" " Where did you send them?" " To Lucullo's caves." "They're waiting for us there?" " Wait for whom?" " Wait for us." " Why?" " What do you mean why?" "With all this stuff." " What did you do, confess!" " Why should they wait for us?" " Who are we?" " Well, I consider myself a man that..." "No, you I don't consider, but who am I?" "Who're you?" "Well, for starters, I'm your office manager, am I not?" " Who are you?" " Dottor Pedocchi." " Who's that?" " What d'you mean who's that?" "No, I mean, who's he?" "Dottor Pedocchi who's he who doesn't exist, who's he?" "We're three clerks, they're three English dancers." " Then why have we come here for?" " What I'm saying, why have we come here for?" "D'you know what I'm saying?" "You're a good-for-nothing and a scardey-cat." "Good night." "What was that about you not considering me?" "I'm someone who reads newspapers, who's always informed about everything." "No, I raise my hat to you." "I said: "Who are you, dottor Pedocchi who doesn't exist?"" "Who're you dottor..." "Shall we have some pasta?" " I wanted to take it to my boy." " Why to your boy?" " I bought it, I'll take it to my aunt." " You're mean, take your pasta." "What do you want, you who haven't even paid for your share?" "This is my pasta, and I'm going to eat it." "Hear this, now he wants it!" "Handsome, can I have some?" " Who're you?" " You are alone, isn't it so?" " Yes." " D'you want to come with me?" " With you?" " I've got a little apartment." " Where?" " At the refugee camp." "What do you want?" "I'll call the police!" "Clotilde!" "O my God!" "Why're you chasing me, if I don't even know you?" "No, first I beat you, and then we talk." "Let's talk like men." " You don't know me?" " No." "But you know Marcella, and I am Fernando." "Go on, I wanna see how you'll get back home, I'll be waiting here all night." " I won't sleep at home tonight." " I'll be back tomorrow." "Then I won't come home tomorrow." "Look at him..." "What's this?" "Damn sock!" "Here they go these socks." " D'you work here?" " So what?" " What meeting is this?" " Why do you care to know?" "One can't even ask?" " A great speaker, but hasn't got a clue." " And sold himself to the landowners." "It's a demonstration." " Can I use the phone?" " Please." "Hello?" "Hello?" " Has he left?" " Yes, he has left." "The cowardly brute, he has left already." "I'm coming." " Are you sure?" " He asks if you're sure." "Yes, yes, he went away." "He waited a while, then went away." "Yes, he has left, she's sure about it." " Radio news:" "Today is the last day..." " Goodbye." "Excuse me, give me also a "Vov"." "...the inhabitants of the capital jubilantly stream toward the piazza, where speakers of the most diverse convinctions... .. confront each other in a highly democratic and civilized debate." "After a decade of democracy... .. the people of the capital is giving a peremptory demonstration of its maturity" "As a matter of fact, this day, vibrant with contrasts and polemics, is ending without any incident having been noticed." "Where's that hot water?" "The election morning was marred by a serious incident." "During a demonstration, an explosive device went off." "Fine, that'll teach them demonstrating!" "Shut up!" "Did the bomb explode?" "The bomb exploded." "The inquest revealed the fact that it was a time bomb." " Well, now, d'you think I can be at peace?" " What's worrying you, Alberto?" "The police chief told me that every time a bomb goes off he'll be thinking of me." "Don't you know that in this very moment the police chief is thinking of me?" "Panic and confusion among the crowd that was packing Piazza San Cosimato..." " Piazza San Cosimato?" " What's the matter, Alberto?" "Silence!" "The police supposes the device was put under the platform last night." "Last night?" "I dind't sleep at home last night." "If they find the socks I'm in danger." "Where did you throw socks worth 300 lire?" "In Piazza San Cosimato, where the bomb exploded." " 300 lire!" " What if the police chief finds them?" "If he finds them, he'll take them home." "You, devil, you were the one, who gave me the idea with the socks!" "Aunt, do you know that if they find the socks I'll be indicted?" "How could the police chief know that those are your socks?" "How?" "What's forensics for?" "Do you even know what forensics is?" "They only need a print to catch a killer." "But in the socks there're the prints of the feet, not of the hands!" "And they don't care about those at the police." " Was this your idea?" " Yes!" "Then I'm at peace." "Yes, you're at peace and go sleep, because you didn't have any last night." "A hell of a sleep I'll have!" "of course, I'm safe." " Goodbye police, goodbye forensics." " Better." "What'll you find?" "Feet prints you'll find." "Prints..." " Auntie?" " What, Alberto?" " I'm not at peace." " but why?" "No, because I'm cautious, and I think, beautiful auntie." "And I know that as long as the socks are in the piazza, this is an evidence against me." "Didn't you happen to find a little package?" " What kind of little package?" " Some pieces of clothing." " If you find it, I'll give you 1,000 lire.- 1,000 lire?" "Well, 500 lire." "It doesn't matter, just some torn socks, it doesn't matter." " Yours?" " No, my grandfather's." "Look, if you find them, I'll give you 300 lire." " Wait, I'll go check the garbage." " That's it." "That's where I threw them last night, in this place." "Where're you going?" "Where's the old man going?" "He went to call the riot police." "You're journalists, down there there's a guy looking for a package." "Where?" "What was he wearing, who is he?" " He's there." " Where there?" "I don't see anyone." "He's not there any more, he must have run away." "Guys, you let him go away." "What package and how did he look like?" "A stocky one, with a big head." "Alright, phone to the newspaper." " Meanwhile we'll be looking for him." " Alright, but make it snappy." ""To whom do these socks belong?" ", asks himself garbage man Proietti Cesare. "" "And so, for one thing, all Italy knows I had a hole in my socks." "There's more." ""The mysterious individual has vanished without a trace. "" ""Who is this man?" "Why did he run away?"" ""Where was he on the night of the bomb attack?"" "I wouldn't like being in your shoes." "But why?" "What did I do?" "This is the press, dear Bilancia, and you still talk about freedom of the press." "But the paper didn't say his name." "True, but they found the monogram, and maybe, right now, the police is inquiring about it." "Don't get excited and answer this:" "did you throw the bomb?" " Madonnina mia!" " Answer: did you throw that bomb?" " No, no, no!" " You have the bread and butter." "The paper pays." " Pays?" " And a lot!" "One million makes up for these!" "Let's call the editorial office right away!" "What's the number?" ""Citta-Sera" it's 91051." " Here it is, 91051, let's go." " Let's phone, let's phone." " D'you have a token?" " No." " Here it is." " I knew it." "I had forgotten." "91051." "Excuse me." "1 million, 1 million!" " Hello?" " hello, "Citta-Sera", yes?" " I'd like to speak with someone from events." " Wait." "I've never felt more at ease like now." "Yes, hello, I'm listening." " Hello?" "Are you from events?" " Yes, yes." "Try being relaxed." "Oh, that's a good one." "Listen what happened." "I'm sorry, but it makes me laugh." "Yesterday evening, I happened, innocently, to throw away a pair of socks, and this is really funny!" "Today I find them on the cover page!" "One moment, don't move, speak clearly, I'm shorthanding it." "Tell me your name, please." " He wants my name, says he'll shorthand it." " Fine, be energetical, resolute." "What d'you care about my name, I'm an honest citizen." "Your paper has fed me to millions of people." " I've got the bread the bread and butter" " I've got the bread the bread and butter" " I'll ask your newspaper to be closed!" " And I'll ask for." " And I'll ask for punitive damages!" " Still." "Still!" "Still what?" " Well, forget the still." " Why do you make me say "still"!" "?" " Alright." " Hello?" "Listening, I'm making you an offer, come right away to our newspaper." "What d'you mean?" "What for?" "We'll return your socks and we'll settle about the damages, don't be afraid." "Who's afraid?" "I'm at ease." " And this won't stop here." " And this won't stop here!" " You'll hear more from..." " You'll hear more from..." " ..." "Alberto Menichetti." " ..." "Alberto M...!" "Are you stupid?" "You're making me say my name?" "So what?" "And then, stupid?" "I'm sorry, but this way you're getting me into trouble!" " What're you afraid of?" " There's the monogrsm on the socks." "What shall I say if they interrogate me?" " But where did you spend the night?" " With you, isn't it?" " With us?" " With you!" "You were with us until one, half past one tops." "What do minutes count for?" "If they interrogate me, I was with you." "No, I'm sorry, in my situation, I can't bear false testimony." "I won't tell you anything, I'll just tell you: be careful." " Find yourself an alibi." " I'll have an alibi, if you help me." "And be careful not ot get me mixed up in this." "you'd better try to get your socks back from the newspaper, because all those ones want is a scapegoat." "Good night." "Bye." "What scapegoat?" "Alright, I'll go to the newspaper to get your socks back, but I want 2,000 lire." " 2,000?" " Yes." "Alright, I'll give you 2,000 lire." "You go and say they're your socks." " If they ask you any questions, you..." " I keep my mouth shut!" "So, we'll make it 1,000 before, and 1,000 after, ok?" " You even want it in advance?" " Of course." " Why?" " Because of the risk I'm taking." "If you want the socks, it's money first." "I'm sorry, but I'm the one taking a risk." "Enough, go right now." "And remember: you don't know me, alright?" "Shady guy." "He blackmailed me,but I don't care, now he's going up, gets the socks, nobody knows me, nobody'll ever know they were mine..." "There he is, the one with the gray coat." "There he is, call the manager." "Where's he?" "He got away!" "Quickly, call the police, quickly!" ""The crazy perpetrator can be easily identified... "" "".. by the somehow old fashioned and today extremely rare hat. "" "I knew this would be my ruin." " But why does it say "crazy perpetrator"?" " They're right." "You look like your uncle Giustino when he died in the madhouse." "Sure, careful you two, because me also I could go insane suddenly." " And then I'll strangle you both." " Please, Alberto!" " Go back!" " Are they still there?" "Yes." "It's the police, there's no doubt about it." "The house is surrounded, they storm in, they find me with the hat, and I'm done for." "I'll go throw a look." " Will you?" " Yes." "Bravo, very good." "Be careful, the police is cunning." "Give me the scissors." "What're you doing, give me the scissors!" "What're you trying to do, Alberto?" "I'll shred the hat and throw it down the pipe." "No, Alberto, it's worse, the pipes will get blocked." " The pipes will get blocked?" " Yes." " Stay calm." " Yes." " Stay calm, don't you see how calm I am?" " Yes." "let's think: the pipes will get blocked." " Police?" " O my God, the drapery!" " Call Michele!" " Michele, run!" "Come on, run, Michele, hurry!" "Come on, quiickly, run!" "Put the lobbia in the suitcase, and climb over the little wall in the garden." " But you must go out threw the back door." " Did I put the lobbia in the suitcase?" "But where am I to throw it?" "Get out of Rome and throw it into a river, or even in a ditch." "You'll see, the bricks will pull it down." "That's it, I'll take the train." "Shave yourself, and don't worry." " Dottore, I'm so glad I met you." " Who is it?" "What d'you want?" " I'm in a hurry." " Wait." " Dottore, I need you." " Are you mad?" " I have to leave!" " Where're you going?" " In Bergamo." " No, dottore, you must postpone it." " You must come with me." " No way, they're waiting for me." "No, you have to make a sacrifice, you have to talk to Fernando." " To Fernando?" "Bye, babe." " Where to?" "At Tufello." " No Tufello, at the station." " No station." " Dottore, I'm pregnant." " So what?" "Go tell that to Fernando, no?" "But Fernando got it into his head that the child is yours!" "What d'you mean mine?" "But how did he get this into his had, is he mad?" "Well, you must come to Tufello with me and explain everything to Fernando." " What'll it be, Tufello or station?" " Tufello!" "No Tufello, to the station!" " Won't you get away?" "I'll call the police." " I'll call the police." "Shut up, don't raise any scandal." "Girl, Bergamo's waiting for me, and then, what's the baby got to do with me?" "No, dottore, it's got to do with you." "And if I don't set this straight, I'll shoot." " If I may, won't you get in?" " Of course I will." " Yes, I'll shoot, I won't even think twice." " Shoot Fernando." "What did you tell your friends?" " Are you talking to me?" " She's talking to me, who knows you?" " That we went skinny-dipping." " No, I in my underwear and you in a bikini." " Don't you want to talk about it?" " No." "Fernando doesn't talk!" "If you don't explain him that the child isn't yours, well, I'll have to shoot." "What d'you mean, shoot?" "She shoots, the other one throws a bomb, wait." "When I get to Bergamo, I'll write Fernando a letter and everything will be fine." "What are you thinking, these are not things one writes." "Why?" "You think so, but a nice little letter, and you'll get married and we'll have a big party." "I'm not joking!" "He has ruined my life!" "Sir, this is not the train for Bergamo." "It's the one for Palermo." " For Palermo?" " Yes." "Well, then I'll go Palermo, I'd have had to go there one day anyway." "Thank you." "Please, believe me." "Ten years of governance as I see it, and Italy'll be like Switzerland." "Only then will I be able to go abroad and declare:" "I'm Italian!" "Yes, words, you lead an electoral campaign filled only with words." "And you, with bombs!" " Bombs?" "Please, come on!" " No, you come on!" "You, my dear Sir, you use other people's brain to think." " Learn to think with yours." " You got the nerve to tell me this?" "Do you remember the famous parliamentary session?" "Did you find honest and wise that what the honorable maintained?" "Do you think there was something inappropriate?" " Everything." " Let's hear it." " O God, the suitcase, stop, inspector!" " It's my suiitcase, I threw it!" " What does it matter to you, it was old!" " Inspector, quickly!" "Help, help, he's a monster!" "Help, he's a monster, open up!" "My first suspicions?" "He said he was going to Bergamo and it was the Palermo train." "The young lady can bear witness I'm not making up anything." "What do I care if he was going to Bergamo or to Palermo?" "He must tell the truth to my fiancee." "D'you know what that one said?" "That he went skinny-dipping with her." "Give him to me for minutes so I can smash his face." "Careful, my friend, or I'll put you inside." "And put down that he locked me into the toillet!" "Alright, Madam, you've already said that three times." "May I, Sir?" "I don't even know what the word bomb means." "I wsn't even drafted, like everybody knows, because of my hernia." "May I, Sir?" "That's the right side, and this is the back, this is the tip, model of '56, isn't it?" " You've already threatened to throw a bomb." " With pleasure, Sir." "On the 12th of May, everything's here." "May I, Sir?" "There's one thing saying "I'll throw a bomb", and another one throwing it, Sir." "Where'd I get the bomb from?" "Let's be logical!" "Who could have given it to you?" "I'll show you, right now." "Come, come." "And what are those two saying?" "They admit to making the bomb." "A bomb!" "It was something this big." "This big, or not, it still was a bomb." "D'you remember whom you gave it to?" "How should I know, it was dark, it was a guy with a big head." "See if it was him." " Is your name Otello?" " Who's Otello?" "I don't know anyone called Otello." "If his name is not Otello, it wasn't him." " D'you have a cigarette?" " No, you ask for one, just like that?" " Go on interrogating them." " Alright." "Is it serious, Sir?" " Good afternoon." " How can I help you?" " I'm Madame De Ritis." " Take a seat, and give me your details." " Can you tell me where you have spent the night?" " My pleasure." "I was with the here present Dottor Pedocchi, and with my colleague Bilancia." "We lingered on at the exit from the "Sistina" theater, waiting for the dancers" " Shall I write it down?" " Yes, write it down." "I'm the one giving orders." "And you spent the night with dancers, but you didn't..." "Yes, honestly, yes." "You're a man of the world, you understand these things..." "Shut up!" "And where did this little orgy take place?" " But it wasn't an orgy." " What do you mean it wasn't an orgy?" " Menichetti's lying." " No." " I'm a law abiding citizen, married..." " Yes, married." "...with a a good position." " At what hour did you separate?" " At 1:00." " Much later." " No!" " Yes!" " No!" "At 1:00 the accused left us for an unknown destination." "Let's write down two, Sir." " 1:00, 1:00!" " No, 2:00, if not 3:00." "Saint Anthony..." "Silence!" "let's go on." "Could you, please, tell me your whereabouts after 1:00?" "After 1:00, isn't it?" "I was with the lady there." " In my time, there weren't such women." " Silence!" "Yes, Sir!" " And where did you meet?" " Close to the theater." "What were you doing near the theater?" "You know that isn't your turf." " I was resting." " To lure clients." " Did I lure you?" " Yes, you lured me." "Still, it's true we spent the night together." "But you didn't even give me a pasta!" "D'you want to ruin me?" "My son's a soldier and I never had anything to do with terrorists." "Have you heard that?" "With pleasure." "I understand that here, among all these people," " Madam is a little..." " I'm no lady, I couldn't care less!" "He stayed for a minute with me, then went away." " Yes, it's true, I went away." " Where to?" "Home." "Yes, I went right back home, and went to bed." "I've slept all night like an agel, and Saint Anthony's my witness." " What hour did you get home?" " At 1:30, Sir." "Mister Fernando can witness to that, can't he?" "No, you didn't come." "I spent all the night at your entrance." " All the night?" " Yes, I slept there." "As a matter of fact, while mister Fernando was sleeping," "I sneaked in back into the house." "You won't get me into trouble, I've got a sharp mind." "But why did you wait for him at the entrance?" " He wanted to speak to me." " No, I wanted to hit you." " He said he had gone skinny-dipping with her." " Stop it, what're you doing?" "Did you see him threatening me?" " Skinny-dipping?" " Yes, tell it so the chief can hear." "Tell Fernando what happened between us on the Tiber." " Speak." " Nothing happened." "Fernando, I can assure you that Marcella is like a sister to me." " She's a virgin." " What's he saying, I'm pregnant!" "Are you now convinced there was nothing between him and me?" "And then, would you see me going with a guy like him?" "And, besides, he took advantage of you, and you being underage." " He's a sexfiend." " What d'you want, old hag?" "He locked me in the toilet, he wanted to use violence." "Alright, violence against an underage person." "Sir, let's the forget this old woman." "Everything's written in here." "When I went with her to the river, the young lady was not underage." "Here it is: "23rd of May, Marcella turnd 18."" "As you can see, Sir, she's not underage." "The next day: "24th of May, innnocent outing with Marcella on the Tiber. "" "You don't get me into trouble!" "Everything's written in here." ""NCI", means "nothing came of it"." "You see, Sir, you don't get me into trouble." " May I?" " Come in." " Dottore." " Are we in trouble?" " No, we are not in trouble." " A glass of water, please." "Mineral water for the dottore." "So, everything's written in here." "Yes, Sir, I write every day, just for the case I'd be in trouble, I write." " Everything?" " Everything, everything." "As a matter of fact, here is written where you spent the night of the attack." "You said you had spent it in your home, didn't you?" "Yes." ""18th of May: spent the night outside,"" ""drank Vov,"" ""came back at six o'clock in the morning."" "May I, Sir, is it my handwriting?" "Young man, you have lied, and you'll be in serious trouble." " Taking him away." " Where're you taking me?" "Let's go." " Sir." " Saint Anthony, protect him!" "I feel it is my duty to say something in the defense of this boy." "Tell him I'm a good boy." " Speak, please." " There're too many people, I'd prefer in private." "The gentlemen are asked to go into the other room." "Please, would you go into the other room?" " I can stay, Sir?" " Yes, you can stay." "Thank you very much, dottore." "May I?" "Here you are, Miss." "You really are a very discreet civil servant." "From up North?" "Or, maybe, you've lived a lot abroad?" "No, I was born in Palermo and I've never left it." " So?" " Sir, I think that..." " Please, speak, you had something to declare." " Yes." "I think the boy has lied in order to defend the honor of a woman." " That's what I had to say." " Please, be more explicit." "Menichetti couldn't have thrown the bomb because, on the night of the attack, he was with me." "Would you like to write it down, Sir?" "In my opinion, it's very important." " Are you married?" " No." "She's a widow, Sir, so there's no adultery." "We'd have already been married, had I not taken anoath on my husband's grave." "That is, that she'd never remarry." "Between me and the lady lies the corpse, Sir." "It's an unsurmountable obstacle." "Or, at least, it used to be, Sir." "Fortunataly, now it is gone." "What're you saying?" "What d'you mean it's gone?" "I think that, had my husband seen in the middle of this scandal, he'd have found mandatory for us to get married." "Are you sure about what you're saying?" "Think about it carefully." "Don't worry, Alberto." " I feel Rudi has relieved me from my pledge." " What do you mean relieved?" "I'm sorry, Sir, I don't know, can a corpse relieve one from a pledge?" "How dares he?" "The catholic faith doesn't allow it." "Of course, but my husband was a protestant." "Ah, if he was a protestant..." " Sir, we've found him!" " Who?" " He is Otello!" " The one who threw the bomb!" " He has confessed to everything." " Then it was you!" " Take him away!" " You wanted to get me into trouble!" "Excuse me, Sir, maybe I went too far." " The report is of no use, now." " You're tearing it?" "It's of no use?" "I don't have to worry, I'm free?" " Yes, don't worry, everything's been cleared up." " Everything cleared up, Sir?" "May I, my darling?" "Just a cople of words, Sir." " Of course, come this way." " Be quick, we have a lot of things to do." "Just a minute, my darling." "You don't mind, do you?" "It relieves me a lot." " D'you want one also?" " No, thank you." " From up North?" " I don't know." "I denounce her, first for blackmail, then for false testimony, and third for presumed murder." " What presumed murder?" " Of her ambassador of a husband." "She has always lived abroad because she didn't love Italy, you understand?" "She killed him near Cortina, her ambassador of a husband, during a boar hunt." "She says she targeted the boar, and shot he ambassador." "But when you target the boar, you shoot the boar, right?" "There she is!" "Sir, stop her for harming anyone else." "Sit down, Madam." "Please." "That young man went away." "Is it true your husband was an ambassador?" "I was expecting this question." "No, but he was part of the diplomatic corps, anyway." "And what was his precise employment?" " Butler." " Servant?" "The embassy's senior servant." "And how did he die?" "Typhus, he died in Bucarest." "That idiot fell for some of the talk at the office." "Were you present when he died?" "No, I wasn't in Bucarest." "You know, I've always wanted to live abroad, but, well, I never had the means." " And what kind of life do you have now?" " Great, I've even lost my job." "But I manage, mind you!" "Languages, then my late husband's pension," "I'm the guest of a consulate." "You know, the foreigners that understand me, it's like living abroad." " Goodbye, Sir." " Goodbye." "Tell me, Madam, what do you think about that young man?" "I've always believed he was mean, but I thought he was redeemable." "All the same, I'm happy the way things turned because I'd have made the first, but surely the greatest error of my life." "Goodbye again, Sir." " Has she left?" " Come here, I have a cople of words to say to you." "Dear young man, you're up the wrong road." "Do you realize that with all your fears you've ended up by losing your job, your friends and, maybe, a woman who loved you?" "Don't you see what you've come at?" "Excuse me for saying so, but look at yourself." "You'd say madman!" "You must learn to live like a young person of our time." "Now you were loyal, courageous, proud of your ideas, assuming your ideas even with he cost of being wrong and having to start all over." "Dive into life and have courage!" "Listen what I've come to say to you, be imprudent." " Here he is." " He's so handsome!" " He's pale." " You're saved, Alberto!" "I'm saved by a miracle, and it's your fault I've become like this." "Is this the way to raise a boy?" "Careful where you step, wear woolen underwear, don't trust your friends, be cautious." " Do you have any idea what he told me?" " What?" " Be imprudent, dive into life!" " Dive, then!" " Where?" " Where ever you want!" "Damn!" "I lost my job, my friends betrayed me, the only woman I loved left me, the police is watching me." "Now, you tell me, devils in charge of this boy, where should I go, what should I do?" "Where can I find a place where I can have peace, security, where I can feel protected, where do I find it?" "There you'll be fine." " Is it your idea?" " Yes!" "True!" "Quickly,let's go!" "Quickly, come on, come on!" " Can I go?" " Go!" "Will it be dangerous?"