"{\cHFFFFFF}This programme contains {\cHFFFFFF}very strong language" "{\cHFFFFFF}This programme contains scenes {\cHFFFFFF}of a sexual nature {\cHFFFFFF}and the book I'm now writing is {\cHFFFFFF}perhaps an attempt to set the {\cHFFFFFF}record as straight as possible." "so have had to rely {\cHFFFFFF}a good deal on memory." "{\cHFFFFFF}my friend Wystan Auden was there {\cHFFFFFF}and encouraged me to join him." "{\cHFFFFFF}I could also say I went because {\cHFFFFFF}of what was happening politically." "I went {\cHFFFFFF}because of the boys." "Berlin meant boys." "mein Liebling." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # One man has hands that are tender" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # One man has hands that are strong" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # If I should choose to surrender" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # My choices are bound to be wrong" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I might find my ideal lover" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # If I search both far and wide... # that simply won't do." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You're the very last {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} person who ought to go there." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Berlin isn't the right {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} place for you at all." "{\cHFFFFFF}What on Earth do you mean?" "darling." "{\cHFFFFFF}Wystan Auden thinks it's {\cHFFFFFF}the most marvellous place." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Auden!" "Such an untidy boy!" "what {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} about medical school?" "I am not {\cHFFFFFF}cut out for medical school." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} That's exactly what you {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} said about Cambridge!" "you cannot {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} go through life shirking it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} It's time you buckled to." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm a published novelist!" "as well?" "you know?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Any normal mother would be proud." "my sweetheart." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You know I found your {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} novel most interesting." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} I thought it was ingenious the way {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} you used your antipathy towards me {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} to such creative effect." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} But you cannot expect life {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} to be one long holiday." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm going there to get away from you." "like the Isle of Wight?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Mother!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} #{\cH00FFFF} I don't know to whom I belong" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # It would be such {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} a shame to end up on my own" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # If I make myself true to one" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # How another will surely be sad {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and alone you must do as you wish." "{\cHFFFFFF}I fully intend to. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} just as I am bound {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} to get more lonely." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} When I think of what I went through {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} to bring you into this world!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Months and months of {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} feeling really quite seedy." "so be it. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} that the Germans killed your father?" "{\cHFFFFFF}MACHINE GUNS" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Take me with you." "{\cHFFFFFF}You have to stay {\cHFFFFFF}and look after Mummy." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} But for how long?" "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm afraid I can't answer that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # If I make myself true to one" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # How another {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} will surely be sad and alone" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Should such a beauty {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} belong to one person?" "the sun {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and the stars" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # They belong to us all" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I don't know" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # To whom I belong" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I believe" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I only belong to myself. #" "{\cHFFFFFF}APPLAUSE{\cH00FFFF} {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Danke." "Vielen Dank." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I was wondering... dear boy." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I didn't mean to startle you." "no." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Could I trouble you for a light?" "of course." "I suspect it... dear boy." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It may have been..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Would you mind if I...?" "no.{\cHFFFF00} How kind!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It may have been stolen.{\cHFFFFFF} Oh dear." "don't you find?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Are you going all the way?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Excuse me?" "{\cHFFFF00} To Berlin?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Holiday?" "{\cHFFFFFF} I'm hoping for {\cHFFFFFF}a little more than that." "yes." "in certain respects." "{\cHFFFFFF}Do you live there?" "{\cHFFFF00} For now." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} One never knows what {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} a new dawn may bring." "but do you have {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} accommodation in Berlin? {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} is desperate for a reliable lodger." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Her landlords are ruthless {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and if they knew she didn't turf her out in an instant. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I do have a nose for these things." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} You might fit the bill perfectly." "but as I say... shall I?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Here's my card.{\cHFFFFFF} Mr Hamilton." "please." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} And who shall I tell her to expect?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Isherwood." "{\cHFFFFFF}Christopher Isherwood." "{\cHFFFFFF}ANNOUNCEMENT ON TANNOY" "{\cHFFFFFF}Wystan!" "here you are." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Good trip?" "thanks." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Those seats are devilish." "{\cHFFFFFF}I hardly noticed." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} then I'd show you the sights." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Best start as one means to go on." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I decided the Brandenburg Gate {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} could wait." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} unless you want them to." "but it won't break the exchange rate is {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} still very much in our favour." "Pieps!" "{\cH00FFFF} Hallo." "{\cHFFFFFF}IN GERMAN" "{\cHFFFFFF}Guten Abend.{\cH00FFFF} Guten Abend." "Niedlich!" "{\cHFFFFFF}What are you saying?" "{\cHFFFFFF}What was that?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} We've been something of a feature." "maybe more of a B feature." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I have no illusions of the {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} pitfalls of loving a whore." "{\cHFFFFFF}Are they all on the game?" "yes." "You can't imagine {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} what a state the economy's in." "{\cHFFFFFF}They look very well on it." "they like to {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} keep themselves fit." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and they're shamelessly vain." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The fact that we find them {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} desirable only proves how {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} very masculine they are." "we"?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} They're nearly all rampant heters {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and use our money to pay for cunt." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} they're frightfully good at it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} What name does he go under?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Caspar." "{\cHFFFFFF}That's about the only {\cHFFFFFF}thing I understood. {\cHFFFFFF}else I could get myself {\cHFFFFFF}into the most frightful fix." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Perhaps I better had." "will you {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} understand the answers?" "{\cHFFFFFF}I might have found somewhere to stay." "yes?" "{\cHFFFFFF} I got talking to this {\cHFFFFFF}man on the train.{\cHFFFF00} You little slut!" "{\cHFFFFFF}apparently his landlady's {\cHFFFFFF}rather desperate for a lodger." "{\cHFFFFFF}Something about filling her quota." "I thought there'd be {\cHFFFFFF}no harm in checking it out." "you know." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} In fact I'd {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} very much like it if you did." "Wystan." "which I'm going well... {\cHFFFFFF}And you can't write {\cHFFFFFF}poetry with me buzzing about." "you're right." "this Caspar chappie?" "yes." "I hope so." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I have missed you." "Herr Issyvoo." "a writer!" "What an honour!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} You can {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} write many famous novels here." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} this room was made for you!" "Fraulein Thurau." "Herr Issyvoo!" "you English men." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} There is an English {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} woman across the hall." "I was a lady." "I have {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} not always scrubbed the floors." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} that was the lodger before you." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I don't know what he'd eaten {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} but it won't come out." "{\cHFFFFFF}THEY SPEAK GERMAN" "darling." "I have {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the most perfectly frightful head." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Who is it?" "{\cHFFFFFF} Isherwood." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Who?" "{\cHFFFFFF} Christopher Isherwood." "Christopher." "{\cHFFFFFF}We met on the train." "{\cHFFFFFF}I've taken the room." "Christopher!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} one has to be so careful nowadays." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Since my release from Brixton" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I've rather lost touch with {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} the old country. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} could I be regarded as a traitor {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} when I have rivers of Irish blood {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} simply coursing through my veins?" "{\cHFFFFFF}So you're in business here?" "dear boy." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Such alarming times we live in." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Ah!" "Heinrich!" "A young stevedore {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I encountered in Hamburg." "{\cHFFFFFF}And what were you doing in Hamburg?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} What is one ever doing anywhere?" "dear boy. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} forever passing through." "I... that I have" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} never been able to relax sexually {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} with a member of my own class." "mm?" "{\cHFFFFFF}I suppose." "dear boy." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Quite the place to let your hair {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} down with some eager young prole." "is it crooked?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} one must take a little care." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and should the Nazis come to power {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} they'll stamp us out altogether." "{\cHFFFFFF}What's the current Communist line?" "Lenin {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} said nothing about buggery." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Dearest Heinrich!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Smelt exactly like a fox." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Delicious!" "Ludo?" "do put something on!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} You'll frighten the horses." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} He's Polish." "{\cHFFFFFF}"He noticed I was staring at his {\cHFFFFFF}wig and asked if it was crooked." "{\cHFFFFFF}and he straightened it." "ja?" "{\cHFFFFFF} Ja." "Spot on." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} GASPING" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Window.{\cHFFFFFF} Good." "{\cHFFFFFF}Good." "Ah." "{\cHFFFFFF}And this?" "what is it?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Big fish?" "this." "What is this?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Whale." "{\cHFFFFFF}No." "It's a clock." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Clock!" "Ja!" "good." "And that's a dolphin." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Was?" "{\cHFFFFFF} Never mind." "{\cHFFFFFF}That..." "Fraulein Schmidt?" "what is that?" "{\cHFFFFFF}SHE LAUGHS" "{\cHFFFFFF}GASPING AND MOANING" "Christoph!" "Oh!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} This is how I'd like to die." "ja!" "Herr Hamilton!" "Fraulein Mayr." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Guten Morgen." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Danke." "{\cHFFFFFF}ROARING BEHIND DOOR" "Fraulein Thurau." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} How sweet love must be!" "yes?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Jawohl." "darling. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but you've been here simply {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} generations." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I thought we really must say hello." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Would you like coffee or tea?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Well...{\cH00FFFF} I don't recommend the tea {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} much." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but it tastes just like slops." "what do you do?" "{\cHFFFFFF}People tend not to call me Chris.{\cH00FFFF} I'm {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} an actress." "Not at the moment." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I'm singing in a night club." "But {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} you absolutely must come and see me." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} What about tonight?" "{\cHFFFFFF} I'm afraid {\cHFFFFFF}tonight's rather difficult." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Was that your boyfriend in {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the hall or just a one off?" "darling?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} getting on three months now. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but then she was whisked off {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to Paris by a fat banker and {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} left me utterly stranded." "I don't care." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I can stand on my own two feet." "{\cHFFFFFF}But don't you mind being here alone?" "duckie." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Surely you know that." "{\cHFFFFFF}How old are you?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I'm practically antique." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I'm nearly 21." "you know." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I got myself expelled from {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} school by saying I was pregnant." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} There was the most terrible to {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} do when they found out I wasn't." "{\cHFFFFFF}I got myself sent down {\cHFFFFFF}from Cambridge.{\cH00FFFF} I say!" "{\cHFFFFFF}Flunked my Tripos." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} What a hoot! {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but he'll have to wait." "they're {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} like camel hair or something." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} It's the sort of thing {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} John The Baptist might wear. doesn't one?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Guten Tag!" "{\cHFFFFFF}Really!" "darling?" "{\cHFFFFFF}but actually I'm a novelist." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} A novelist!" "How perfectly {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} marvellous!" "Are you published?" "yes." "I haven't yet {\cHFFFFFF}found a publisher for the second." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Has it sold simply thousands?" "actually." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} The one you write about me {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} shall sell by the million." "darling." "woman of mystery!" "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm not sure you're that mysterious." "I think we're {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} going to get along famously." "won't you darling?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Maybe." "sweetie." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} This whole thing is about {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to collapse around our ears." "darling!" "damn!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I suppose I'd better {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} meet the old goat." "but I don't {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} believe him for a second." "darling?" "could you be an angel and {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} lend me 10 marks?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I haven't got a bean for the taxi. {\cHFFFFFF}"the sort of thing John The {\cHFFFFFF}Baptist might wear." "{\cHFFFFFF}You're very quiet." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} A touch of sunstroke. {\cHFFFFFF}and it's all thanks to you." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I doubt your mother {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} sees it quite like that." "don't you think?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Caspar!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} have you come to Berlin {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} to sample the culture?" "I'm rather anti-culture." "not in that way." "{\cHFFFFFF}It's just that I'm rather put off {\cHFFFFFF}by culture worshippers." "{\cHFFFFFF}I find them somewhat {\cHFFFFFF}precious and prone to gushing." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Do you find me somewhat precious {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and prone to gushing?" "{\cHFFFFFF}but the danger is that one {\cHFFFFFF}can use culture worship" "{\cHFFFFFF}as a substitute for engaging {\cHFFFFFF}with the messy business of living." "that you are a writer {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} but do not like culture." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It is my belief that culture {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} raises us from the beasts." "why you have {\cHFFFFFF}employed me to teach you English." "{\cHFFFFFF}You seem to speak it perfectly well." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} One has to..." "How do you say?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} ..keep in practice." "{\cHFFFFFF}Good." "What exactly is it that you do?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I am a shopkeeper." "{\cHFFFFFF}A shopkeeper?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} That is precisely what I am." "{\cHFFFFFF}As in Landauer's Department Store?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}That's where I buy my socks." "no." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm not really a joiner." "I seem to {\cHFFFFFF}be constitutionally incapable of {\cHFFFFFF}bringing myself to the required... {\cHFFFFFF}pitch of enthusiasm." "of course." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} We can no longer afford {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} the luxury of sympathy." "{\cHFFFFFF}I rather suspect I'm best equipped {\cHFFFFFF}to observe and record." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} That will not be an option." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} we must take to the streets." "Herr Isherwood." "even when {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} the Storm Troopers start firing." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm not sure I'd hack {\cHFFFFFF}it as a street fighter." "but are you not then {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} as guilty as your detested {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} culture worshippers" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} for refusing to engage {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} with the whole messy business?" "we should {\cHFFFFFF}all play to our strengths." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Perhaps we will practise {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} the irregular verbs?" "huh?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} It's like silk." "you be like me {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} and Johnny Weissmuller." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm not so sure about that." "ja?" "{\cHFFFFFF}No!" "No!" "Caspar!" "{\cHFFFFFF}Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "ja?" "{\cHFFFFFF} Nein!" "{\cH00FF00} Ja?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Nein!" "Ja!" "Ja!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Christoph?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Yes?" "{\cH00FF00} You got 10 marks?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}YODELLING ja?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Of course you will." "dear! {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} that we are both normal." "{\cHFFFFFF}Aren't boys marvellous?" "{\cHFFFFFF}their smell and the way they move." "{\cHFFFFFF}And they can be so... {\cHFFFFFF}whereas girls..." "I'm glad I'm like I am." "{\cHFFFFFF}Thank God for public school!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} intimacy's just business to them." "{\cHFFFFFF}So you think if I {\cHFFFFFF}stopped giving him money...?" "{\cHFFFFFF}it's more than just business." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} They're desperate for cash {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and they'll do anything for it." "{\cHFFFFFF}But what he says to me...{\cHFFFF00} He'll {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} tell you anything you want to hear." "what do I know about romance?" "not {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} a fucking journalist." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I've booked my ticket {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} back to England.{\cHFFFFFF} Already?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Father's allowance has dried up {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and I really must get this {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} fissure in my rectum seen to." "{\cHFFFFFF}I hope that wasn't me." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} you mustn't flatter yourself." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Can't imagine why I {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} chose to leave him" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # How could I have been so cruel?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # After all {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} he loved me without question" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Still I left him like a fool" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # If I woke him late {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} at night complaining" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # "I'm on my last cigarette" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # He'd say "I'll be {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} over in a minute please don't get upset" "Peter... #" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Gute Nacht.{\cHFFFFFF} Gute Nacht." "darling." "hon!" "this is Bobby Gilbert." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} He does something frantically {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} important in something or other." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I'm in steel." "Chris." "darling?" "{\cHFFFF00} You bet!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} And I've told him all about you.{\cHFFFF00} Oh?" "right!" "Chris? {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} he could write something {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} really great like {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Noel Coward or something." "darling?" "Christoph?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You don't like me tonight?" "Christoph?" "What's the matter?" "that's what's the matter." "{\cHFFFFFF}then don't turn up." "but never do." "{\cHFFFFFF}It's getting to the point where I {\cHFFFFFF}can't believe anything you tell me." "I understand." "I understand." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} they are like that." "and that makes me mad." "I always {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} pay them and never hit them {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} and still they let me down! {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} and they make me so happy {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} and I just forget how mad I am." "{\cHFFFFFF}You bastard!" "Christoph." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} They shine so bright {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} when you're hot for me." "Caspar." "He gave {\cHFFFFFF}me a cheap gold-plated bracelet." "{\cHFFFFFF}Probably an unwanted {\cHFFFFFF}gift from some admirer." "{\cHFFFFFF}He fastened it around my wrist. {\cHFFFFFF}but then he disappeared." "but no-one {\cHFFFFFF}knew where he was." "{\cHFFFFFF}I should've listened to Wystan." "{\cHFFFFFF}Perhaps it was just a {\cHFFFFFF}business transaction after all." "meine Liebe." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} It must be simply marvellous {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to be a novelist.{\cHFFFFFF} Why's that?" "you can sit {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} down and write about them" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and tell the world how perfectly {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} vile they are and make simply {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} pots of money out of it." "{\cHFFFFFF}It hasn't quite worked out {\cHFFFFFF}like that yet." "be an angel {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and light my ciggie." "I've been offered the {\cHFFFFFF}chance to earn a bit extra.{\cH00FFFF} Take it." "{\cHFFFFFF}Writing the occasional letter from {\cHFFFFFF}Berlin and doing the odd book review." "that's marvellous!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Let's have champagne!" "{\cHFFFFFF}It's for a magazine called Action." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Oswald Mosley's rag?" "you know it then?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Of course I know it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but I'm not completely vacuous." "{\cHFFFFFF}Why DO you wear green nail varnish?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Have you said yes?" "{\cHFFFFFF} Not yet." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You won't.{\cHFFFFFF} I wouldn't write {\cHFFFFFF}anything political." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} even if it was the cookery column." "you can't!" "Jean...{\cH00FFFF} I wouldn't talk to you {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} again and that's an end to it." "{\cHFFFFFF}I was just testing the water." "{\cHFFFFFF}I wasn't really going to {\cHFFFFFF}write anything for them." "I wasn't." "you know {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the things I've done for money." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} People here are so strange." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and the Nazis are getting" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} more and more of a foothold {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and they just seem to accept it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I've even heard some {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} talk of a brighter future" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} as if all this ghastliness {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} were a price worth paying. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Which you and I must do." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} We must not throw in the towel." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Why are you looking at me like that?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} I don't really know." "CRIES OF PAIN" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Mein Gott!" "darlings.{\cH00FF00} Gott im Himmel!" "{\cHFFFFFF}HE CRIES OUT dear!" "I do hope he {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} won't do himself a mischief." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} He ought to be more careful {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} at his time of life." "{\cHFFFFFF}HE CRIES OUT" "Bobby darling!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You do that so well." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You must teach me one day {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} how to catch it in my mouth." "honey." "{\cHFFFFFF}Thank you.{\cH00FFFF} To The Memorial." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} The Memorial." "Chris?" "hon?" "but I {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} expect it's astoundingly brilliant! {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and he's even had a {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} letter of congratulation {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} from EM Forester.{\cHFFFFFF} Forster.{\cHFFFF00} Wow!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} It won't be long till our {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Chris is just as famous." "who's that guy in the wig?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} BOTH:" "Gerald." "I could swear that Gerald {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} was peeking through the keyhole {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} while I was in the john." "he didn't know {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} where to look." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I expect he knew {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} exactly where to look." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Yeah." "Right." "darling." "I adore champagne." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} once you' whisk me off to Hollywood?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Sure thing." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Bobby!" "Naughty Bobby!" "{\cHFFFFFF}SHOUTING" "{\cHFFFFFF}GLASS SMASHES" "{\cHFFFFFF}Excuse me." "bitte." "{\cHFFFFFF}I was in a cafe and you were..." "{\cHFFFFFF}Do you remember?" "why should you?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Mein Name ist Christopher." "{\cHFFFFFF}Perhaps you'd like {\cHFFFFFF}to go for ein Bier?" "{\cHFFFFFF}No." "OK." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm sorry." "{\cHFFFFFF}vulnerable and uncritical." "{\cHFFFFFF}A boy I could protect and {\cHFFFFFF}cherish as my very own." "{\cHFFFFFF}Jean thought it was all frightfully {\cHFFFFFF}jolly and decided I was at last doing {\cHFFFFFF}my bit for the class struggle. {\cHFFFFFF}I had no hesitation {\cHFFFFFF}in falling in love." "{\cHFFFFFF}SHE COUGHS" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} but there is no bed." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Mutti..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} SHE COUGHS" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Gerald!" "Come on out." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I know you are in there!" "then?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} Hamburg.{\cH00FFFF} Hamburg?" "!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} he knows what to expect." "Gerald?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Some people seem to be utterly {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} lacking in consideration." "Gerald." "that went slightly awry." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} What sort of business?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} you're looking as joyous {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} as the first day of spring." "{\cHFFFFFF}Gerald!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I was offered a small fee {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} to help someone get his {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} hands on a police dossier." "{\cHFFFFFF}Yes? {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and do you know what?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The wretched man simply vanished." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Disparu without paying {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} me a single pfennig." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} So who was that at the door?" "my dear." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Claiming interest on a little loan." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} dear boy!" "For the money I needed to {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} bribe the police to get the dossier." "{\cHFFFFFF}What on earth were you thinking of?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The trouble is everyone's so {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} greedy nowadays." "And dishonest." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Simply can't trust a soul." "{\cHFFFFFF}Gerald.{\cHFFFF00} Yes?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Your wig's slipped." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Oh!" "{\cHFFFFFF}DOOR CREAKS" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} No!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} THUMP" "I've had {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} to leave Berlin at very short notice" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} 'which made it impossible {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} for me to communicate with you." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} 'Our friend at the door finally {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} lost patience and matters {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} got a little out of hand." "dear boy." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} 'That would be more {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} than I could bear." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} your affectionate Gerald.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} They give her bed at last." "Frau Neddermayer." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} She make dress to look {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} nice in sanatorium." "um..." "{\cHFFFFFF}SHE COUGHS" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} To see his Nazi friends." "{\cHFFFFFF}SHE BREATHES DEEPLY" "{\cHFFFFFF}SHE COUGHS" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The last Kaiser {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} always mistrusted Berlin." "dissidence?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} What with the leftist working class {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and the intellectual avant garde." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm wondering if the working {\cHFFFFFF}class is as leftist as one imagines. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} but they lacked a strong leader." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} This is where Adolf Hitler" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} has been so very clever {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and exploited the situation." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Ever since the Treaty of Versaille" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and then the Depression brought {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} the country to its knees the poor and {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} unemployed see him as their saviour." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} And the Nazis organise everywhere " "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} in bars and clubs {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and schools like a virus." "{\cHFFFFFF}I see.{\cHFFFF00} Ja." "Like a virus." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} But I am sure {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} that all this you know." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Or do you spend {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} too much time at play?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Berlin can be very distracting." "Christopher." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Whatever the cost." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I can't give you {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} anything but love" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Baby" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # That's the only {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} thing I've plenty of" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Baby" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Dream a while" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Scheme a while" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # We're sure to find" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Happiness" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # And I guess" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # All those things {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} you've always pined for... #" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} # I can't give you {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} anything but love" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} # Baby!" "# bravo!" "{\cH00FFFF} Did your mother {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} teach you to cook?" "{\cH00FF00} Ja." "{\cHFFFFFF}she is at the sanitorium." "I did say." "what exactly is this?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Pig." "pork!" "How lovely!" "er... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Pork rib?" "Delicious!" "{\cHFFFFFF}I think he means lung." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Ja!" "Schweinelunge!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Oh." "Golly." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} And then before my very {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} eyes I saw him turn from" "Did {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I really let that make love to me?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} This is my brother Gerhardt." "it's a {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} pleasure to meet you." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Won't you join us?" "We're having {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the most perfect evening." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I think your brother {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} is simply divine and he's {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} cooked us a marvellous meal." "Herr Isherwood." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} He doesn't mean it." "{\cHFFFFFF}May I ask why? look out for your {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} mother and your brother." "it's been difficult. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and Herr Hitler is the reason." "for goodness sake!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} He understands men like me. they had their chance." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The Nazis are the people's {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} party now.{\cH00FF00} This is your friends" "Gerhardt." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Did he just call me a tart?" "Herr Isherwood." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} You and your kind." "how frightfully rude!" "Heinz." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Make your father proud..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} ..or shame us all." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} But Gerhardt... how you can {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} leave poor Heinz with that monster?" "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm sure he can stand up for himself!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} We'll probably find him hacked {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} into little pieces at {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the bottom of a canal." "{\cHFFFFFF}And you didn't help matters {\cHFFFFFF}addressing Gerhardt like you were {\cHFFFFFF}Queen Mary at an investiture." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} And after all the trouble he {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} went to with that pig lung hash." "Jean!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Brutes!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Filthy rotten brutes!" "{\cHFFFFFF}Shut up!" "For God's sake!" "darling... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} It's over now." "Can we get a taxi?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Can somebody please get a taxi!" "ja? {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} that's the danger. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the street-fights {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and the beatings... can we?" "{\cHFFFFFF}No." "you know." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} We really can't." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Gerhardt... that we don't make love?" "there's {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} nothing else to do." "{\cHFFFFFF}We could go to the movies." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I haven't got two {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} pfennigs to rub together." "{\cHFFFFFF}Jean?" "what is it?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Hollywood's off." "I'm so sorry." "I have to {\cHFFFFFF}go back to the States." "{\cHFFFFFF}"Some emergency at HQ." "wasn't it?" "{\cHFFFFFF}"Bobby." "{\cHFFFFFF}What a complete bastard." "{\cHFFFFFF}Typical bloody American." "{\cHFFFFFF}Flaky as hell!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You fancied him rotten!" "{\cHFFFFFF}That's beside the point." "Come here." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} And he was a most marvellous lover." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} He was the best..." "Jean." "Poor darling... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} He did leave me a little something." "{\cHFFFFFF}So he bloody should!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} But I shan't be keeping it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Men say that they can be faithful" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Simply I smile to myself" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # New love is always so novel" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Faithfulness is but pretence" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Now it is all but forgotten" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # But yesterday I still possessed" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Love affords time that is blissful" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Loyalty still makes no sense" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I don't know to whom I belong" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # It would be such {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} a shame to end up on my own" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # If I make myself true to one" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # How another will surely {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} be sad and alone" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # Should such a beauty {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} belong to one person" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # No surely {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the sun and the stars" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # They belong to us all" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I don't know to whom I belong" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I believe" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # I only" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} # belong to myself. # {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and so it will always be." "Herr Issyvoo." "Fraulein Thurau." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} What a beautiful morning!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Even the sun seems to have {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} come out for Herr Hitler." "Herr Issyvoo?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} The police have been round." "{\cHFFFFFF}The police?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} They were asking about my lodgers." "{\cHFFFFFF}What did they want to know?" "they said." "{\cHFFFFFF}RECORDING OF HITLER PLAYS" "un Moment.{\cHFFFFFF} Caspar!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} that this is a Jewish store" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} and that there is now an {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} official anti-Jewish boycott." "{\cHFFFFFF}Where have you been?" "I've been {\cHFFFFFF}looking everywhere for you." "{\cHFFFFFF}You disappeared." "{\cHFFFFFF}I didn't know what had happened." "{\cHFFFFFF}Caspar!" "{\cHFFFFFF}I need to buy a pair of socks." "{\cHFFFFFF}Shame!" "{\cHFFFFFF}Shame!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Beruf?" "{\cHFFFFFF}"Street-sweeper"?" "No." "Maybe... or... why not? "Domestic servant"." "Christoph." "{\cHFFFFFF}But of course you can." "for me... {\cHFFFFFF}It's even more dangerous if you stay." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} For Gerhardt.{\cHFFFFFF} Gerhardt?" "for God's sake! much more besides!" "it isn't." "but in the meantime... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You do not miss home?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} I have no home." "This is home... {\cHFFFFFF}wherever I am." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} We should be where we belong." "{\cHFFFFFF}We are where we belong - together." "{\cHFFFFFF}We must stand together." "{\cHFFFFFF}as individuals." "Don't you see?" "{\cHFFFFFF}You have to come with me." "{\cHFFFFFF}I want you to." "but in a week?" "A month?" "{\cHFFFFFF}I'll still want you Heinz." "{\cHFFFFFF}Heinz." "Of course I will." "{\cHFFFFFF}YODELLING {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} what makes you want to leave Berlin." "Fraulein?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Adolf Hitler." "the Fuhrer! {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} then it's Hitler." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Herr Issyvoo." "I am staying." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Most Germans are staying." "where else would we go?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Fraulein." "I understand that." "we want to get out." "{\cHFFFFFF}We want to..." "Travel." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} But why?" "To go here?" "To go there?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} What is the point?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Soon no-one will be left. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} now you... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} You get used to it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} You get used to anything." "{\cHFFFFFF}CLOCK TICKS" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Is your room...satisfactory?" "he's not retarded." "yes?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Yes." "I sleep good." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Yes." "Good.{\cHFFFF00} Thank you." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} How long have you known Christopher?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Mummy...{\cH00FF00} Shush!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I know Christopher {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} one year and one half." "if at all." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} And how long are you staying {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} in our country?" "{\cHFFFFFF} Two weeks." "Heinz?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Two weeks." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You see?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} What a shame it's not longer." "{\cHFFFFFF}Two weeks is as long {\cHFFFFFF}as his permit allows." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Then maybe another time." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} What is that?" "now...{\cH00FF00} Christopher! {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} part of the family estate." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} It's in Cheshire {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} in the north of England." "as a matter of fact." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} You paint it?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's very good." "Heinz." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} That is the house where {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} I gave birth to Christopher." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Yes?" "{\cH00FF00} And very difficult it was too." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} I was in labour for 18 hours." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} 18 hours!" "Imagine that!" "please!" "wasn't it?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} But it was worth it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} He was the most delightful baby." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm sure Heinz isn't {\cHFFFFFF}remotely interested." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} He had the loveliest skin {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} and long slitty eyes... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} just like a Jap." "of course he's interested." "Mummy." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} because it's always there {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} and never lets me down." "Heinz?" "{\cHFFFFFF}She's dead.{\cH00FF00} Oh." "dear." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Christopher's daddy's dead." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} He was killed in the war." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} He was my daddy too." "but you hardly knew him." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} He was killed by the Germans." "darling." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} I'm simply filling him in." "{\cHFFFFFF}Heinz's daddy was also {\cHFFFFFF}killed on the Western Front." "you see." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} That's what wars do - kill people." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Toast?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} He's a nice boy." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Well-mannered." "you say?" "{\cHFFFFFF}There's no reason a street-cleaner {\cHFFFFFF}can't be well-mannered." "dear." "No reason at all." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} How lovely to have a job like {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} ordinary people." "my darling?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You seem to be inept at pretty much {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} everything.{\cHFFFFFF} Don't speak to him {\cHFFFFFF}like that!" "{\cHFFFFFF}It's entirely your fault {\cHFFFFFF}he's like he is.{\cH00FFFF} Like what?" "we're talking." "{\cHFFFFFF}and now Germany's withdrawn {\cHFFFFFF}from the League Of Nations." "that is rather troubling." "{\cHFFFFFF}I must think of a way of {\cHFFFFFF}getting him out for good." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} But why should that {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} be your responsibility?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Surely he knows people who can help." "I want it to be my {\cHFFFFFF}responsibility." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} So what will you do?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Get him another permit?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Or even another nationality." "{\cHFFFFFF}you could always adopt him." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Darling!" "I don't think so!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Are you sure he wouldn't {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} be happier in Germany?" "after all." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} It's where he belongs." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} And he isn't a Jew or anything." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} You've no idea." "It's Nazi Germany {\cHFFFFFF}we're talking about." "{\cHFFFFFF}It's not just the Jews who {\cHFFFFFF}are being victimised." "darling." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} I'm fully aware that the {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Nazis have done some bad things." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Although one hears that Herr {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Hitler's done some good things too." "{\cHFFFFFF}Dear God!" "dragging you off there... he {\cHFFFFFF}didn't need to drag me." "as you always do... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} so long as you realise {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} what you might be taking on." "{\cHFFFFFF}Right." "We're going to have to {\cHFFFFFF}mail money to him in Berlin...{\cH00FF00} "We"?" "and if you write {\cHFFFFFF}a letter inviting him to stay... maybe even for keeps." "{\cHFFFFFF}You can't do that!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You'll find that I can. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} but then {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} we have the letter you wrote." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} May I?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} "I am counting the days {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} until your arrival." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} "I've been so lonely without you." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} the way it's written?" "A bit... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} what's the word?" "{\cHFFFF00} Queer?" "Mr Auden." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} What a boon to have a poet on hand!" "{\cHFFFFFF}You can't send him back!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Christopher...{\cHFFFFFF} No!" "{\cHFFFFFF}God knows what they might do!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Not my responsibility." "{\cHFFFFFF}So an alien has no rights {\cHFFFFFF}whatsoever in this democracy" "{\cHFFFFFF}that men have laid down {\cHFFFFFF}their lives for." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} that you too will be ready {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} to make the sacrifice." "I shall appeal!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You can write to the Home Secretary {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} for all the good it will do." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Come on." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I knew we were done for." "he's one of us." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It stands out a mile." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm sorry." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You seem out of sorts." "{\cHFFFFFF}Do I?" "isn't it?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Goodbyes are always sad." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} As sad as dying." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'll be seeing him soon enough." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} That's right.{\cHFFFFFF} Yeah." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} No need to be sad." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} you want to tidy everything up {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and make it make sense." "do they?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Not really." "{\cHFFFFFF}No." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} This Sally Bowles character... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} is she based on anyone?" "in a manner of speaking." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} And what about Mr Norris?" "I suppose he is too." "I thought {\cHFFFFFF}we might first meet him on a train." "yes." "Trains are always good." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You can't go wrong with a train." "{\cHFFFFFF}Where were we?" "close quotation marks." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} this Nazi business." "it is." "what with {\cHFFFFFF}all the poverty and wounded pride." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'd say communism was {\cHFFFFFF}the best hope for peace." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Then why not stay here {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and join the Party?" "{\cHFFFFFF}I can't do that!" "{\cHFFFFFF}I have Heinz to consider." "Heinz." "Of course." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} So where will you go?" "probably." "{\cHFFFFFF}For the time being." "isn't it?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} "For the time being." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} It always breaks my heart {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} a little to see you leave." "{\cHFFFFFF}You should be used to it by now." "I'll never get used to it... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} .." "And how awful if I did." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'll be back." "{\cHFFFFFF}I always am." "{\cHFFFFFF}'And so once again I cast off {\cHFFFFFF}from England and threw {\cHFFFFFF}in my lot with Heinz." "{\cHFFFFFF}'Two lost souls wandering {\cHFFFFFF}around Europe on the brink... {\cHFFFFFF}'whilst others were {\cHFFFFFF}preparing to save the world. {\cHFFFFFF}'and that was that.'" "ladies?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} No appeasement!" "Fight the fascists!" "Miss... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I'm exercising my democratic right!" "{\cHFFFFFF}Only you would choose to sell {\cHFFFFFF}The Daily Worker in Knightsbridge." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I have no say in the matter." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I go where the Party tells me." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You're looking impossibly young." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Are you ever going to age?" "{\cHFFFFFF}I do hope not." "My God!" "The varnish!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I somehow felt that red {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} was more appropriate." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I must confess {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I carry it with me everywhere." "that {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} you're the one that became famous? {\cHFFFFFF}and meanwhile poor Heinz... {\cHFFFFFF}Well..." "I dread to think {\cHFFFFFF}what he's being subjected to." "{\cHFFFFFF}A year labouring for the state {\cHFFFFFF}followed by two years in the army." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} It's frightfully harsh." "{\cHFFFFFF}It could be worse - {\cHFFFFFF}he might have got carted {\cHFFFFFF}off to a concentration camp." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} You did all you could." "really?" "{\cHFFFFFF}I even feel relieved." "{\cHFFFFFF}Hmm." "no." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I never miss anything." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Sometimes I wonder if I {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} shouldn't have had that kid." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I think I'd just about have {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} cut the mustard as a mother." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} and I'd sing to him." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} And then I'd go out and fuck {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} filthy old men to pay for the brat!" "{\cHFFFFFF}Then why not marry and have another?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} Because I've lost my faith in men." "that's a shame." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} I have simply no use {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} for them any more." "darling. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FFFF} back to the revolution." "{\cHFFFFFF}Might we see each other again?" "Chris." "{\cHFFFFFF}Goodbye." "{\cHFFFFFF}'It seems everyone's caught {\cHFFFFFF}communism like flu.'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I think it's fair to say that the {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} closest we've come to solidarity" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} with the workers is {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} sleeping with them." "that's a cause of sorts." "is yourself." "{\cHFFFFFF}Isn't that rather unkind?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Hmm." "But you've turned {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} it into an art form - as it happens." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I used to be a little {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} in love with you." "didn't you?" "I thought you did." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} You're lucky - you're not {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} burdened by the concept of sin." "Christopher... {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} although I fully intend {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} to carry on sinning." "don't start on about God!" "my dear." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I do loathe the sea." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's so wet and sloppy." "{\cHFFFFFF}I don't belong here." "{\cHFFFFFF}I'm not sure I belong anywhere." "{\cHFFFFFF}I rather like being a foreigner." "{\cHFFFFFF}I wonder where we might end up?" "{\cHFFFFFF}'Wystan was right. {\cHFFFFFF}'I was never able to commit" " I only {\cHFFFFFF}ever sort of added to the chorus." "politics are {\cHFFFFFF}more and more about the individual." "{\cHFFFFFF}'The gay liberation movement seems to {\cHFFFFFF}have taken me to its heart." "really." "{\cHFFFFFF}'A cause at last!" "you know... {\cHFFFFFF}'it makes sense of {\cHFFFFFF}what I was trying to do for Heinz." "{\cHFFFFFF}'All those years ago...'" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Christoph?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} You write again about Berlin?" "for a British newspaper." "ja?" "{\cHFFFFFF}What's left of it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} we end up in the Russian sector." "eh?" "Christoph." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} We would much rather be here {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} in the West Zone." "{\cHFFFFFF}Maybe one day." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} the famous writer." "{\cHFFFFFF}I suppose you could say that." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} there are skyscrapers in America?" "yes." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} And you see Hollywood?" "actually." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} And the Grand Canyon?" "You see that?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Yes." "It's... {\cHFFFFFF}very big." "I haven't seen too many of them." "Heinz." "{\cHFFFFFF}All that I made you suffer." "I should {\cHFFFFFF}never have taken you out of Germany." "you change my life. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} I would not miss for the world." "Christoph..." "Hilde." "she looks... {\cHFFFFFF}very nice!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} She's a good girl." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} And she doesn't ask questions." "{\cHFFFFFF}That's all right then." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} And this is my son..." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} .." "Christoph." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} Christoph?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Ja." "{\cHFFFFFF}Well." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} you are not getting younger." "{\cHFFFFFF}That's the way it tends to go." "yes?" "{\cHFFFFFF}At the moment." "to live alone." "to {\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} look after you when you are sick." "I'm not decrepit!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} we could be your family.{\cHFFFFFF} What?" "Christoph and I." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Out there in..." "California." "well..." "I'm not so sure about that." "the life I lead... my plans are so uncertain." "we'll see." "See how it goes." "{\cHFFFFFF}we'll keep in touch." "Heinz?" "{\cHFFFFFF}You do...don't you?" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cH00FF00} Yes." "I..." "I understand." "{\cHFFFFFF}Fraulein!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Ho-ho-ho-ho!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Oh!" "I am so happy!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} We are all so happy!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} I thank God the Russians {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} didn't get us." "Communism!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} you look like a child!" "Fraulein." "Herr Issyvoo!" "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} Herr Issyvoo!" "{\cHFFFFFF} Yes.{\cHFFFF00} It was terrible." "holding each other." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} we got quite religious!" "{\cHFFFFFF}Ah!" "Is the yodeller still there?" "thank God!" "The Nazis shot her." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} It's the one good thing they did!" "Fraulein?" "{\cHFFFFFF}Another survivor. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} but I mended it." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} For you." "I couldn't. {\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFF00} and smile." "{\cHFFFFFF}Thank you." "{\cHFFFFFF}{\cHFFFFFF} Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd" "{\cHFFFFFF}E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk"