"Is it your wish to remain a housekeeper forever?" "it is not." "Then why won't you give me an answer?" "Just a little longer." "I need to be sure." "I suppose?" "Until summer." "then Christmas." "I have been patient." "What more must I do?" "I treat Thomas like my own son." "You've been kind." "I'm not ungrateful." " I'm just not ready." " When will you be ready?" "he's dead - gone." "One day you'll have to accept that." "You have to think of the future." "Thomas needs a father." "I will press you no further for the moment." "But if you keep this..." "Well..." "I will take it to mean "yes"." "shh..." "It's all right." "It's only the wind." "Shh." "I'm home now." "Let it all go away." "ABANDON SHIP!" "SHE'S GOING DOWN!" "Mary!" "Mary!" "always will be." "You remember that winter's morning?" "We thought we'd never find anything." "we find a treasure!" "We found one boot with an 'ole in it." "but this morning we might find the matching boot!" "Dad." "I don't know." "that's your...trouble." "then?" " I don't know." "It don't look like a bomb." "my God!" "Dad!" "Look!" "He's waking up!" "giant!" "AAAAAARRGGHH!" "AAAAAARRGGHH!" "look!" "They're everywhere!" "Lilliputians everywhere!" " Oh!" " You're hurting me!" "Oh!" "forgive me." "I'm so sorry." "of course you are." "so monstrous." "Don't be frightened." "I'll..." "I'll whisper." "Have you fallen from the heavens?" "You the Man in the Moon?" "where've you come from?" "Dad." "This could be the making of us." "We're going to be rich!" "no!" "Here comes the army!" "Halt!" "Get away from it!" "It's a trap!" "filled with Big-Enders!" "Any minute they're going to pour out!" "sir..." " Fire at will!" "no - please!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Get away!" "Get...!" "Ow!" "Lemuel!" "Is it you?" "No!" "Don't touch me!" "What's... wrong?" "Are you ill?" "I beg you." "Have you slept here all night?" "I haven't slept at all!" "I was swimming for most of the night." "Put that down!" "Who is this boy?" "This is Tom." "He is your son." "My son?" "I was pregnant when you went away." "How long have I been away?" "They said your ship was lost." "How long have I been gone?" "Nearly nine years." "Food for the giant!" "Make way!" "Food for the giant!" "When will this army burst out of his stomach?" "son!" "you country oafs?" "We never see food like that." "You tell him to eat seaweed soup!" "One more word and I'll have you flogged." "please." "brother!" "I fear the worst." "The Big-Enders must have sent him." "He's state property." "We found him!" "He's salvage!" "You're under arrest for treason!" " You can't do that!" " Not to us!" "I'll summon the entire fleet." "We must notify the Emperor." "I was so hungry but it took hours and hours to eat anything at all." "I had to swallow about a dozen loaves just to get one mouthful." "bones and all." "I had to drain at least eleven barrels of wine before my thirst was satisfied." "I don't understand - why was the food so tiny?" "Because of the Lilliputians." "that's right!" "There were hundreds of them." "They were dragging tiny timbers and tree trunks towards me." "They must have cleared a whole forest." "I heard banging and sawing and I realised they were building this massive wooden frame." "thirty - there must have been a hundred." "They were using them to drag me." "you're not making any sense." "I started to feel... very strange." "They're pulling me!" "They're pulling me along!" "Why...?" "Go and find Joshua - anybody - quickly." "Take him into the surgery - quickly." "Lemuel." "Mind his head." "Where did you find him?" "He slept in the stable." "Tom found him." "now." "The procession halted outside the Emperor's palace." "Why have we stopped?" "make way!" "Let all bow before Golbasto Momaren Evlame" "Delight and Terror of the Universe 000 blustrugs whose feet press down to the centre and whose head strikes against the sun the most mighty Emperor of Lilliput." "you weren't exaggerating!" "He's a whopper!" "Father." "He's dead if he makes a move." "Does he talk?" "Father." "How does one address him?" "Your Majesty." "Man Mountain!" "Your Excellency!" "Splendid!" "Who are these two?" "Caught trying to steal the giant." "That's a lie!" "We found him!" "He belongs to us!" "we don't want him." "We were going to donate him to the war effort." "are they?" "Hmmm..." "Let's feed them to the giant!" "An excellent test of his ferocity!" "Don't eat me and I'll be your friend for life!" "you and me - what do you say?" "My son!" "My son!" "The giant has shown mercy." "How marvellous." "will not." "Have them both disembowelled at dawn." "Your Majesty." "He can't have slept for days." "Certainly his mind is extremely disturbed." "It's so wonderful." "I..." "I'd given up all hope." "Had you?" "of course not." "It's a miracle that he has returned to us." "Now we must let him rest." "We gave him enough to feed a regiment for a week - now he's hungry again." "I have a projection from my Treasury based on the multiplication of his body weight." "728 of your subjects every day." "Every day?" "!" "We can't have that." "Let's kill him." "no." "The decomposing corpse!" "It could cause a serious plague." "we'll have a famine." "Is he secure?" "Majesty." "Army matter." "Until he decides to escape." "Your Majesty." "Man Mountain!" "Where's my dearest wife?" "Majesty." "Sweetmeat?" "!" "Please come out and have a look!" "my chick?" "my husband." "Pale and fearful." "how brutish he looks." "Ask him to descend." "Down 'ere!" "Gently now!" "To me..." "Whoa!" "He's staring at me!" "He has a horrible leering expression." "really!" "He's in chains!" "He might bite." "I should like to kiss your beautiful hand." "How charming!" " No!" " Yes!" "Bring towels and a bucket!" "I think his lips were a bit wet!" "Your Majesty." "Where does he sleep?" "Your Majesty." "We're organising a bed." "to be precise." "322 sheets..." "Your Majesty." "Majesty?" "What majesty?" "they'll be frightened." "man!" "Get up off the floor!" "I asked him to release me." " Asked who?" " The Emperor." "I must insist..." "He had a great desire for me to see the magnificence of his palace." "I trod very carefully for fear of harming any stragglers." "I wore only my waistcoat so I did no damage to the roofs with my coat." "The palace was a magnificent construction standing 60 feet high to the Lilliputians." "I observed the splendour of the Royal Household." "'The Empress herself was in attendance and pleased to smile graciously upon me.'" "you horrible monster!" "Shoo!" "Shoo!" "he lives in a big crater on the moon eating mostly fruit and...cheese." "with many wondrous stories to tell." "of course." "You will not believe this - I have got my own bedroom... with pillows." "Have you got pillows in your room?" "should I want anything in the night." "er..." "I can't sleep in the bed because my feet are too dirty." "En garde!" "Your Majesty." "What a wonderful room!" "What is this place?" "This is the Chamber of War from which the Emperor directs his campaign against the evil empire that confronts us." "our sworn enemy!" "but who are Big-Enders?" "er... of course." "Er... it's very simple." "We're Little-Enders and the enemy are Big-Enders." "But what does Big-Enders or Little-Enders mean?" "There's a subversive tone to his questioning." "I agree." "Are you an agitator?" "Certainly not." "Easy to say." "The Lilliputians competed for public office in a most strange manner." "Promotion was not given for bravery or service to the state but for skill at the noble art of "creeping and leaping"." " What are you looking at?" " Shh!" "The Emperor is demanding my presence." "'This ceremony was presided over by the Emperor in his throne room." "'The candidates undertake a trial of dexterity such as I have not seen 'in any other country of the Old or New World." "both ends parallel to the horizon 'while the candidates sometimes leap over the stick 'and sometimes creep under it as the stick is raised or lowered." "'Whoever shows the greatest skill at leaping and creeping 'is rewarded with the highest office.' my son." "my son!" "Bravo!" "Somebody bring him a sash." "We'll make him... oh..." "Has the old Chancellor been executed yet?" "Your Majesty." "good - we'll make this chap the new Lord Chancellor." " Was he really executed?" " Who?" "The old Lord Chancellor." "Most people were." "I found you some clothes." "Who is that man?" "What is he doing in our house?" "It isn't our house any more." "Doctor Bates has paid for much of Tom's upkeep." "But now he owns the house." "He runs your old practice and I am his housekeeper." "Mary?" "Excuse me." "I want you downstairs for your supper." "Don't be frightened of me." "Come along." "but where is he going to stay?" "but what will he do?" "there's no work and he is - forgive me - suffering from some form of mania." "He is exhausted and..." "and clearly troubled..." "I accept his behaviour is strange..." "Mary." "It is a joyous thing that he has returned and we must give thanks for it." " Where are you going?" " I..." "I cannot sleep here." "I understand." "meeting again for the first time." "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "Don't touch me." "I can't bear you too near me!" "you'll wake Tom." "You cannot understand where I've been." "Tell me what's wrong." "Help me to understand." "Please." "You're frightening me." "if you wish." "I am used to it." "but I cannot." "I cannot!" "I CANNOT!" "The Emperor mounted the most impressive military parade ever with all the imperial troops passing between my legs." "Sightseers came from all over Lilliput." "lawyers and midwives all lining the street to gape and stare." "but none with... with me." "The money is rolling in." "We can approve unprecedented military expansion." "What if he falls on us?" "no harm can befall you." "I've organised every last detail." "I understand his trousers are ragged on account of the shipwreck and I must warn Your Ladyship that under no circumstances should you look upward as we drive underneath him." "everybody!" "Blimey!" "Unbelievable!" "Oh...!" "Colossus!" "now." " Stop what?" " All this!" "All these stories!" "Just be normal again!" "I'm telling him what happened." "I don't want you to!" "Is it your wish for me to lose my position and my home?" "That's what will happen if you persist in this nonsense!" "This is intolerable!" "How can I concentrate while he's charging about like an idiot?" "Get rid of that monster!" "do you know how much money his parade raised for the war effort today?" "Mary." "I have to say that I am worried for the child." "The ideas that he's putting into his head are not proper - or Christian." "But what can we do?" "I'll take him to a hospital where they help people who are sick like this." " He'll never agree." " Leave that to me." "Admiral." "Bad news?" "The Big-Enders have built a new war fleet!" "I knew it!" "We must move our troops... give nothing away." " Big-Ender spies are everywhere." " Not in my own campaign room?" "Especially here." "The walls have ears." "Man's a bloody menace." "How substantial is their fleet?" "Warships with 500 cannons." "But our biggest ships have only 50." "Their warriors would rather die than surrender!" "Ours would rather surrender than die." "What shall we do?" "Have half our farmers build warships." "000 men and construct a 40-foot wall around Lilliput." "We did both those last month!" "We have held back our greatest weapon for long enough." "I was summoned to the Emperor and told the very future of Lilliput depended upon my courage and ingenuity." "ready to attack and only I stood in its way." "I scoured the land for the thickest ropes and cables like this." "Bravo!" "I waded across the channel separating the two empires took a great breath and dived underwater." "I made it!" "I made it!" "The sailors screamed in terror when they saw me." "Most of them abandoned ship and jumped overboard." "don't!" "Nothing could stop me." "dragging the entire fleet behind me." "Put the child to bed." " What's wrong?" " Do as you're told." "I..." "Trust my judgement on this." "Do as I request." "Doctor." "'My glorious victory was the cause of much rejoicing throughout the land.'" "'Thousands rushed to meet me 'and there was a great cheer of relief and celebration!" "'" "Marvellous!" "Marvellous!" "The end of the war!" "Peace and prosperity!" "Ha-ha-ha!" "For doing what our greatest Generals and Admirals could not you are awarded our greatest honour!" "Pageboy!" "What is our greatest honour?" "Majesty." "The Nardac?" "!" "General Limtoc and I are only Clumglums!" "How will it look to our men if he has a higher honour?" "a word." "I fear the job is worse than half done." "I agree." "He brought home the enemy's ships but could he bring home the enemy themselves?" "The monster must prove his loyalty by killing all Big-Enders - woman and child." "I think you should return and destroy what remains of the enemy." "Your Majesty." "I'm sure they will make a dignified surrender." "My husband gave you an order!" "there is no more threat." "We've won!" "We need to talk." "Mmm." "I got very drunk." "I had been told that I emptied the royal cellars of everything save twelve barrels of sweet cider." "I'm working harder now than I ever did." "it's full." "they'd been fighting this ridiculous war for generations and none of them had the slightest clue what they were fighting about." "I know." "They'd been at war for years and not a single Lilliputian knew why." "I mean I know how the war started." "You know?" "I know what my grandmother told me." "When the Emperor's great-great grandfather were a little boy he were eating a egg for his breakfast one day." "he cut one of his fingers." "that is - he published a law commanding everybody to break their eggs off at the smaller end." "Ha!" "Some Lilliputians said "We are going to break our eggs at the big end." "Just you try to stop us!" which is exactly what the Emperor did." "the rebels fled across the water to Blefescu and thus began the great and terrible war." "000 people suffer death rather than submit to breaking their eggs at the smaller end." "Do you smell burning?" "THE EMPRESS IS TRAPPED!" "SAVE MY BELOVED!" "'A firework had set light to the palace 'and Her Imperial Majesty's apartments were ablaze." "'The Lilliputians had already applied their ladders to the palace walls 'and were well provided with buckets but the water was at some distance." "the ladders were not tall enough." "'So it seemed wholly desperate." "'The palace would have been burned to the ground and the Empress with it" "I had not suddenly had an idea." "'I was still full from my drinking session looking down on the royal bedchamber 'only one course of action seemedopen to me.'" "Ah!" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "You have saved my life!" "Ahem... thank you." "AAAAAAGGGHHH!" "It's an outrage!" "He made water in the royal grounds!" " It's treason!" " But he saved the Empress's life." "Our stepmother will never be able to show her face again convinced that she's the laughing stock of Lilliput." "though... is she?" "And he openly defied your command to attack the Big-Enders." " He humiliated you!" " You're right!" "You're right!" "We must execute him." "Execute him?" "!" "You can't do that!" "we must consider all the options." "or with the monster?" "We'll spread poison on his shirt which will make him tear his own flesh apart." "Then I'll get a thousand men to fire poisoned arrows in his face." "but I don't think we should actually murder him." "and I miss her dreadfully." "You're both too impulsive." "something must be done." "Something merciful." "We'll dig out both his eyes." "I don't know." "Just the eyes?" "It doesn't seem very much to me." "and even more courageous because he won't see any danger!" "Couldn't we shatter is knee caps with canon balls as well ?" "That way..." "Are we all here?" "Where's the new Chancellor gone?" "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "The Generals are plotting to kill you!" "You must escape!" "I just saved the Empress's life." "Don't go to sleep!" "if they find out." "WAKE UP!" "Oh...!" "but to where?" "'Where could I go?" "Would I just swim out to sea until I drowned?" "'" "I hid from the Emperor's soldiers." "'That night I pulled up hundreds of trees to make a small raft 'while Drunlo collected every bed sheet for miles around 'and I began to sew them together to make a sail.'" "Thank you for saving my life." "Sorry if..." "Don't you talk to me." "respect... eh?" "Back to seaweed soup." "I'd like to leave you a gift." "My ring." "marvellous can I?" "It's..." "It's..." "It's gold." "I'm rich!" "you was always my friend." "I'm rich!" "son." "Never mind that." "I think I've found the other boot!" "This isn't right." "It's done now." "I feel as if I've betrayed him." "You know it's the right thing to do." "The doctors at the hospital are very caring people." "Drive!" "'For seven days and nights I sailed without sighting land." "'My supplies had run desperately low and I was losing all hope." "'I was forced to eat my carefully gathered supplies 'until only one sheep remained.'" "Land!" "at least it was land!" "'" "Where are we?" "Don't worry." "I'm taking you somewhere you'll be safe." "Dr Bates." "I think we can leave the rest of the formalities till tomorrow." "GIANTS!" "GIANTS!" "NO-O-O-O-O-O!" "is this behaviour absolutely necessary?" "Mother Earth!" "It's an omen!" "It's an omen!" "Grultrud?" "Nothing." "Back to work." " Perhaps he's a hobgoblin." " He's nothing of the kind." "to show we'll have a fine harvest." "I'm going to give him some meat." "'Giants." "'And so ugly!" "'Their skin was so crinkled and pocked and boil-infested 'it made me wonder how I appeared to the Lilliputians.'" "It's just a little dog." "Don't be a coward." "Down!" "Let me out of here!" "There's been some terrible mistake." "Oi!" "You in there!" "Keep quiet!" "Come and stand by me." "Glumdalclitch." "He's lovely." "I wonder?" "Can I?" "Can I have him to keep?" "He's a grand little fellow." "I expect." "Do us a dance." "We could make a lot of money with this little fella." "What is this place?" "A hospital." "Since when do hospitals have bolted doors?" "It's a hospital for people with sick minds." "there's nothing wrong with me." "That is for us to ascertain." "I don't like this box." "Where are you taking me?" "What are you talking about?" "Come and see the Wee Wonder - the Spirit of the Cornfield." "Come and see him." "The Wee Wonder." "Spirit of the Cornfield." "'Brob-ding-nag'?" "Yes." "And what part of the world is this Brobdingnag in?" "I was completely lost." "And this little girl was carrying you?" "In the travelling box that they'd made me." "You have to imagine yourself as only as tall as my hand." "If you were to lie on the floor." "I'm not trying to make a fool of you." "See how different the world looks?" "imagine everything you know is now huge... monstrous." "Hush!" "the sprite may not come out." "He's a timid little fella." "Mind that none of you look him direct into the eye - he might curse you." "Who summons the Spirit of the Cornfield?" "I do." "O Spirit!" "Show me gold and thou shall be told!" "O Spirit of the Cornfield!" "we beseech you to rid these vegetables of their cursed affliction." "you see." "falling down" "# London Bridge is falling down" "# My fair lady!" "#" "The Spirit has spoken!" "Your radishes will be the plumpest in the entire country." "Next!" "And you believed you were possessed by this spirit?" "of course not!" "We were just doing it to make money." "Why didn't you try to escape?" "I was helpless." "My destiny was out of my hands." "That's all for tonight." "He'll perform again at daybreak." "I am the Queen's lady-in-waiting." "I am off to sleep." "I was wondering if the little gentleman might be for sale?" "My little magician?" "No." "I am authorised to offer you a considerable sum." "No amount of money is going to part the two of us." "I have here 500 pieces of gold." "Do you want to take him tonight?" "I begged the farmer not to part me from Glumdalclitch the only person who really cared for me." "happy to see his daughter brought up in the royal household." "We travelled with the lady for several hours until we reached the palace." "large or small!" "smaller than all others a talisman for crops bringing strong sunshine and sweet rain for the harvest!" "Such a man is - me!" "Am I or not the smallest person in the kingdom?" "Can any man look up to me?" "a grub." "Am I short?" "I'm minuscule." "I'm so small..." "Your Majesty." "'Royalty at last!" "'No more riding on a donkey cart." "Here was the Queen.' the only part of her I could reach and I kissed her toe and addressed her in the normal manner... the Darling of the World the Phoenix of Creation." "she was also a giant?" "They were all giants!" "Even the dwarf was a giant!" "Grildrig it seems you are no longer the smallest man in the kingdom." "Your Majesty..." "Grildrig." "We have a new jester!" "Her Majesty and I chatted for a while and she was impressed with such wit and good sense in so diminutive a person." "For the first time since arriving in this awful place" "I felt amongst equals and knew from now on I would be treated with respect." "He's a monstrosity!" "albeit a uniquely small one." "You're both wrong - he's a clockwork toy." "I've no doubt we can find the hole in his back if we look carefully enough." "Take your hands off me!" "There's been some terrible mistake." "There's nothing wrong with me." "please." "His eyes are constantly moving and he sweats extremely." "Why don't you like being touched?" "I just don't." "I don't need a reason." "his mood changes all the time and his speech is eccentric - full of fantasy." "I'd say he's a carnivore." "Even tiny animals like fieldmice could overpower him." "He lacks the claws for climbing and digging." "Perhaps we should try mating him with a small animal." "Perhaps we should not!" "This is outrageous!" "please listen to me." "I come from a civilised country which abounds with several million people of my own stature where the houses and trees are in proportion." "I have no trouble feeding myself or protecting myself." "just like you." "That farmer taught him to say all this!" "You can't keep me here!" "Where's my wife and son?" "You may shout as much as you wish in here." "It is something we expect." "is where your rights end." "Put her to bed for a day or two if the symptoms persist." "if you're ready." "I won't be gone long." "Why can't I come?" "You can come next time." "Clear all this away before I get home." "I wish I could dissuade you from visiting him yet." "Please don't expect any dramatic improvements." "In our country we also have very high taxes." "It keeps people in their place." "We have no taxes." "But everyone is bringing you the fruits of their labour." "They are shared between the whole kingdom fairly." "you mean?" "we have enough food to feed everybody." "and takes home some of his neighbour's." "and no one goes hungry." "unless some people are starving how can there be structure to society?" "What do your Ministers say about this?" "Ministers?" "Each village sends a farmer and we decide what is best for the common good." "The common good?" "Yes." "Grildrig's new job is to feed the rotten produce to the pigs." "I hope he doesn't bear me any malice." "Grildrig!" "are you?" "nothing could be further from the truth." "I've taken a special shine to the little chap." "I want to see whoever is in charge." "I demand to be let out!" "Enter!" "I've got a surprise for you." " Shall I open it?" " Thank you." "she clearly adored me." "like a doll 'even though I could manage for myself.'" "Glum!" "It's beautiful." " Does this feel like your home now?" " Not really." " My house isn't quite this big." " Will you take me there?" " So I can meet your queen?" " I will." "We'll go to the theatre." "And what will we do before we go?" "Tell me everything we'll do." "we'll walk through the park and bow to the ladies and gentlemen." "Dressed in our finest clothes." "The very finest." "And then we will sit and we'll take tea." "Chocolate - can I have chocolate?" "Milady." "And I'll buy you presents." "Lots of presents." "A doll's house even bigger than this one." "The children will love it!" "won't we?" "how old are you?" "but I'm growing very fast." "Glum." "Oh." "In..." "In England." "You said it was a hospital - this is more like a prison." "I don't like it any more than you do." "But some of the patients become...disturbed." "It's necessary to keep them securely." "Mary?" "Thank God you're here." "I've got to get out of this place." "You have come to take me home?" "we..." "We thought it best you had a chance to recover first." "Have the doctors seen you yet?" "but they don't understand." "They know nothing about England so they've no idea of my intelligence." "They don't know about England?" "why should they?" "They've never been there." "call the doctors." "I have to tell them everything." "Then they'll stop treating me like a child." "Call them back!" "'I began a massive lecture 'to explain the difference between their simple farming life sophisticated society." "education and arts 'our courts and their great wisdom." "'I mentioned the valour of our army and navy 'and our great colonies and conquests.'" "My remarkable lecture lasted five audiences with the Queen - each one lasting several hours." "She was most attentive and requested a sixth audience no doubt to praise my eloquence and to beg my forgiveness." "Your Majesty?" "Questions." "how do they get to be Ministers?" "Usually a sum of money decides the issue." "How do they gain knowledge of their people?" "They don't need much knowledge - they spend their time drinking and gambling." "You've mentioned gambling." "At what age is this entertainment taken up?" "Sixteen or seventeen." "or...seventy." "In your courts how much time is spent in determining between right and wrong?" "at great cost to those involved." "Doesn't that mean the poor have no recourse to the law?" "the poor are too busy working to need justice." "Do your lawyers ever plead cases which they know to be wrong?" "Of course!" "That's their job!" "It amuses you to mock our institutions?" "I was trying to defend them." "Your taxes raised more than five or six million yet the state spends double that!" "How can a kingdom spend more than it receives in taxes?" "that's simple." "We just borrow more from ourselves." "Don't try to make fools of us." "But it's the truth!" " And your wars..." " Our wars?" "Why are you always attacking people?" "unless to trade?" "Often we must defend ourselves by attacking before we're attacked thus gaining the element of surprise." "And this 'standing army' of yours - why is it standing?" "In the midst of peace why do you need such a massive force of weapons and men?" "I..." "I..." "I don't... to lose my way." "I stuttered and hesitated..." "I have heard enough." "But I haven't finished yet." "The whole purpose of..." "I said I've heard enough!" "The history of your country seems to consist of nothing more than a squalid string of conspiracies revolutions murders and massacres." "by malice lust and madness." "Perhaps I explained badly." "We shall examine you again next month." "In the meantime..." "Next month?" "!" "What are you talking about?" "Haven't you heard a word I've said?" "idleness and vice are the only qualifications for public office and that your laws are made by those who pervert them." "I can only conclude that your people are the most pernicious race of odious little vermin that ever nature suffered to crawl upon the face of the Earth." "Your Majesty." "Mary." "Let me talk to the doctors and plead for his release." "Lemuel." "A month!" "Don't lose hope!" " Let me talk to you." " I don't belong here." "I'm the laughing stock of the entire country." "I think you're very clever." "We could think of something that would impress the Queen." "Perhaps if I juggle bananas with my feet that would raise my social standing." "You must know something they don't." "I know hundreds of things they don't!" "or..." "Gunpowder?" "What is 'gunpowder'?" "Never mind that." "Take this list of ingredients." "Now - mix them in the quantities that I have described there." "The harvest festival was the perfect chance to make a good impression." "People from all over the kingdom would be coming." "A normal explosion would hardly be noticed by these giants so I multiplied the quantities of gunpowder tenfold." "I doubt we shall even see it." "We should increase these figures fivefold." "at least." "And then perhaps we'll have a proper demonstration." "Baaa-aaaa!" "It's a quite extraordinary story." "He insists he was a prisoner in a land of giants." "he was the giant." "And you just found him wandering about the streets?" "The lady brought him to my surgery." "What is the patient's name?" "Just put 'Patient of Doctor Bates'." "Don't you want to see the harvest parade?" "The noise will give me a headache." "will you?" " I wish you wouldn't drink so much." " Thank you for your concern." "And I wish I didn't have to live in this monstrous place!" "Are you nervous about the bunpowder demonstration?" "not bunpowder!" "I'm fine." "leave me alone." "'Why was I so horrible to her?" "'" "She had shown me only kindness and love." "I was angry that no one would take me seriously." "things would be very different after the demonstration." "Try this." "shorty." "Grildrig!" "no one could hear me shout." "I ran to the centre of the table." "That won't do you any good." "I've been waiting a long time for this." "I heard this sound and I looked up and saw Grildrig raise this..." "Where are you?" "please..." "No more?" "No more?" "But the best is yet to come!" " He..." "He..." "He..." " What?" "What?" "!" "He pulled out this tin." "Do you know what your head'll look like when a wasp stings you?" "until it's so big it'll just pop!" "squirt!" "one over there two hovering around the food down there." "there's nothing in here!" "Two left!" "Where are they?" "Where are they?" "Please!" "I'm frightened you'll hurt yourself." "Fighting for my life." "Sword against sting." "thrust." "Can someone help?" "right to the edge of the table!" "Mary!" "It was extraordinary." "You have no idea how I felt." "but..." "Help us!" "I killed them!" "I killed them!" "please." "He's having a fit." "Don't let them hurt him." "Why won't anyone believe me?" "I can prove I'm not making it up!" "Go back and find my medical bag..." "He doesn't know what he's saying." "Bring me the bag!" "I can prove that everything happened." "it's the truth!" "I'm afraid it's much worse than we thought." "I know this is hard but I think your very presence is making his condition worse." "I can't have got him back only to lose him again." "It's the best thing." "Stop it!" "You can't keep me here!" "I'm not mad!" "I can prove I'm not mad!" "of course." "I'm fine." "Proceed with the demonstration!" "Now witness the exciting power of this substance by my 'odious' race and seemingly unknown to even your greatest minds!" "it's just a small flash of light and an explosion the size of a log cracking on the fire." "I know what you're thinking." "please." "What are you doing in here?" "Nothing." "You know you're not allowed in here!" "let me talk to him." "You're upset." " What were you doing in my study?" " I wasn't doing anything." "or I will." "You're not my father." "You can't beat me." "I don't want to beat you." "I know you were glad to see your father again." "But he's a sick man." "A violent and disturbed man." " Do you know how you can help him?" " No." "By forgetting everything he has told you." "All those silly stories." "All this nonsense." "He came back for a day and now he's gone away again." "haven't we?" "we have." "And soon I will be your father." "I will care for you properly." "My father cares for me." "why didn't he come home all this time?" "Why did he leave your mother and you alone in poverty?" "I asked Glumdalclitch to take me to the seaside 'where I would stare at the ocean for hours 'and think of my home and everything I had lost." "but no boat ever came past." "'Never one.' would you?" "How can I leave?" "flap my arms and fly away?" "I know you're very homesick." "some day you'll meet someone your own size and you'll forget all about me." "I won't." "I'll never forget you." "Don't cry." "I'm not." "What were you doing in Doctor Bates' surgery?" "I found the sheep." " What are you talking about?" " The little sheep from Lilliput..." "There are no tiny things or giant things." "They're just stories!" "But I saw it...!" "Go upstairs to your room!" "please." "Glum?" "Be careful!" "Glum!" "You're hurting me!" "Mama!" "Mama!" "I told you to go to your room!" "look - look!" "Go to your room!" "Now!" "Not another word!" "And stay there till I tell you to come down." "'I lost all sense of time as the bird flew on and on." "'In my last moments I thought of my dear Glumdalclitch 'who would be blamed for my disappearance 'and would lose her place at Court." "'I felt myself falling with such incredible swiftness 'that I almost lost my breath.'" "Did you look in his medical bag like he said?" "Completely empty." "I don't know what to do." "Mary." "I'll take care of it all." "finally." "but I realised I would surely die." "my box was sinking." "No boats would pass." "'I resigned myself to my...'" "Thank you." "It's a relief to see you're the same size as I am." "I'm glad it gives you pleasure." "but where are we?" "On the Flying Island of Laputa." "I was flying." "Travelling several hundred feet above the ground." "How big was this flying island?" "Huge." "At least half a mile across." "But floating in the air as though it were no heavier than a cloud." "And people lived on it?" "The greatest minds in the universe!" "it was like a warship." "People lived in tiny cabins and came out now and then onto the decks." "Excuse me." "Noble sirs." "These masters are contemplating the universe." "yes." "sir." "What's your opinion on the sun's health?" "it seemed fine last time I looked." " What about the spots?" " Spots?" "Volcanoes on the surface are sending out smoke." "and... but where exactly are we?" "we must be travelling west." "You think so?" "What a fascinating theory." "I was..." "An interesting man." "You gave them a lot to think about." "Perhaps you wish to rest before the "End of the World" Ball tonight?" "I..." ""End of the World"?" "Did you say "End of the World" Ball?" "Tom." "Breakfast." "Tom!" "Breakfast!" "You will not leave the table until you eat something." "Do you see the harm he's done?" "Tom." "Tom!" "I'll see to him." "Stop this behaviour towards Dr Bates!" "I will not have this disobedience." "Come and eat your breakfast!" "I won't tell you again." "but it won't achieve anything." "Nothing your father told you is true." "He made it up to amuse you." "He's very ill - that's why he can't come home." "much as I want to." "'Your silence will not help him.'" "What did they eat?" "in the clouds!" "Don't revel in your ignorance." "The intellectuals of Laputa were far too busy having great thoughts to be burdened with farming." "collecting Brain Taxes from their subjects." "The island would descend over a village or estate." "Buckets would be lowered to be filled with food and drink." "sir." "or table...or anything that... sir." " Costume?" " For the ball." "'Brilliant intellectuals employed techniques unknown to our tailors." "'Painstakingly they measured the circumference of my ears 'the distance between my toes 'the length of my eyelashes and even my shadow." "the result.'" "Hello." "I hope you're settling in." "I ordered you winched up." "thank you." "I'm Prince Munodi." "your Highness." "don't bother with that." "Nobody else does." "I'm the most stupid person in Laputa." "I'm sure that can't be true." "It is." "I'm only tolerated because I'm the Rajah's son." "Could I speak with your father?" "I'm trying to find my way home." "in the observatory." "He'll see you later." "I'm performing tonight." "Must dash." "You wouldn't want to see him." "it will agitate him further." "You say the same thing each day." "He gets worse each day." "More disturbed and violent." "I know." "You believe I'm trying to keep you away from him." "I don't..." "Mary." "I only did what I thought was best for Lemuel." "I felt guilty." "Had I acted in haste?" "Selfishly?" "Perhaps I am a coward." "you might have chosen me." "When I see how broken he is for all my cowardice." "I will write to him." "Will you take my letters?" "Mary." "Of course." "Answer me this." "Do you believe he'll recover?" "of course." "Don't you?" "I wish I could say yes." "The Rajah will see you now." "What?" "Why?" "Ow!" "Thank you." "I can manage." "that will not be necessary." "I am a traveller from..." "Excuse me." "Majesty?" "I'm trying to get back to England." "Ing-land?" "You know of it?" "Do you like it?" "Majesty?" "It's my home." "the music." "The music of the spheres." "I confess I strain to hear anything." "Then we must adapt your ears to hear more clearly." "I am undeserving of such honour." "Yes I suspect you are." "but I need to get home." "Perhaps someone else knows England." "It is a small island but of great importance." "The Academy knows everything." "Everything worth knowing." " And much more besides." " How will I find it?" "Smashed into smithereens." "In a thousand pieces." "For I have compared the figures of the moon and the zodiac and I can announce that a comet will collide with the sun at three minutes past three in the morning." "Good heavens!" "That phenomenon coincides exactly with your arrival." "Majesty." "We shall name this unspeakable catastrophe "Gulliver's Orb"." "Too kind." "'I have failed you." "I should never have sent you away." "'Please believe how hard it was for me." "'I only want you to be well again." "'My deepest wish is that you will return and live with us." "'To have you and lose you again is almost unbearable." "then at least write." "Just a few words." "'I will always love you.'" "'To prepare for the end of the world the Rajah commissioned a symphony." "'I confess I found the music too intellectual for my taste.'" "I thought you were playing in the concert." "I was asked to leave." "My instrument kept playing in tune." "your Majesty?" "It is here." "at least the world is ending tomorrow." "about to end!" "'" "I couldn't sleep." "trying to make peace." "I fell asleep." "I woke the next morning and rushed to my cabin window." "Clouds still scudded." "Sun still shone." "Birds still flapped." "The world hadn't ended." "I wish I shared your excitement." "I rather hoped it would." "'By ingenious movements of a giant magnet 'the island could be made to rise or fall." "'The only disadvantage to this was that when the lodestone was moved so they had no idea where they were.'" "Where are we flying now?" "The next collecting point is my mother's estate." "When we get there is another matter." "You look apprehensive." "There'll be trouble." "Mother and Father always disagree." "She's down-to-earth." "Father always has his head in the clouds." "They've been apart for a long time." "I had an unhappy childhood." "Excuse me... your Highness." "What's happening?" "My mother is refusing to send up Brain Taxes." "Come on!" "Father... she'll get it." "I'll apply my intellect to the task." "She doesn't want war." "She just doesn't want us to take her food." "Not that I know anything." "We'll stay over her land and deprive them of rain until their crops die." "I am a genius." "Isn't there a river running through the royal estate?" "I knew that!" "The Rajah and his intellectuals debated the right course of action while the island bore down on the Munodi estate." "I wonder what my idiot husband will do now." "I have it." "We must bomb them." "Bomb Mother?" "Bomb your wife?" "BOMBS AWAY!" "Bombs?" "Very well." "Two can play at that game." "She had built a massive magnet tall as a house and mounted on a truck drawn by 12 carthorses." "This was cranked up until it was aimed directly at the island." "Then the horses started to drag the magnet away until..." "Father!" "We're descending too fast!" "And at a very straight angle... not that I know anything." "Do you want the dunce's cap again?" "before there's any more trouble?" "Right." "Go to your cabin and read your navigation books." "I think we should have lunch." "Lunch?" "Or perhaps something to nibble." "the island is falling apart." "Do something!" "I see no reason to rush into action." "what should we do?" "I'm the last one to solve a crisis." "You're not." "What should we do?" "I'd try reversing the lodestone." "Brilliant!" "You're a genius." "Am I?" "Reverse the lodestone!" "REVERSE THE LODESTONE!" "The island juddered to a halt for an instant." "Then the two opposing magnets sent it hurtling back up." "We're rising again." "That vindicates my decision not to act in haste." "the problem has solved itself!" "Interesting." "How are you feeling today?" "I'm sorry I missed your lecture." "I hear it was spectacular." "How is Mary?" "When is she coming?" "Give her time." "It's been disturbing for her." "Will she not even write?" "I think she's frightened of what you've become." "I need to see her." "I know she'll understand if I can explain." "I think I can change her mind." "But you must play your part... and accept you are not well enough to receive visitors." "nor the day after that." "Your recovery will take some considerable time." " Good morning." " Good morning." "Your bag came this morning with a note from my son." "thank you." "How is he?" "I have to report your son has failed all his examinations." "He's considered a complete idiot." "Good." "There's hope for him yet." "Are you a man of great intelligence?" "I fear not." "Excellent." "my intelligence is negligible." "He is an imbecile." "But one of breathtaking intellect." "there'd be none." "circumference and volume." "Why don't you stay for the summer ?" "I miss the pleasure of unintelligent male company." "If only I could." "where I can get directions home." " The Academy?" " You know of it?" "I wish it had never been built." "My husband installed the most brilliant minds in the world there." " Where's the harm in that?" " They've brought ruin on this land." "Everything outside my estate is devastated." "Why?" "Because the Academy decided that the perfect new world cannot be built until the old one has been totally exterminated." "'I set off for the Academy." "cut into stone." "'I entered the residence of the professors of speculative learning." "'The first place I came across was the School of Language.'" "come in." "Sit down." "speaking is a corrosion of the lungs and to be avoided." "I've devised a method whereby one carries the objects one needs to converse and points at them." "Simple." "These two farmers are making a transaction over a lamb." "it's about the weather." "about whether one can walk his sheep over the other's land." "It seems this farmer is furious." "he's proposing marriage!" "I think." "Excuse me." "I'm trying to find out how to get to England." "go to the Room of Answers." "full of informers and accusers.'" "Look." "A seemingly innocent note from a boy to his grandfather." "Our brother Tom has just got the piles." What does that mean?" "Rearrange the letters. "Resist!" "A plot is brought home." "The tour." "all mad." "they had forgotten reality.'" "is this the Room of Answers?" "you've arrived at last." "Put some of these in there." "I..." "I need to find..." "I need..." "Excuse me." "What are you doing?" "What does it look like?" "I'm extracting sunlight from cucumbers." "Just another eight years and I'll have the problem solved." "Stay and help." "Do stay and help." "It'll be so much more exciting." "like spiders." "hogs were trained to plough fields by digging up acorns." "'Hundreds of professors tackling every problem known to man." "'But no ideas were finished the country lay in ruins.'" "Is this the Room of Answers?" "I have to know the way home." "you don't want to." "NO!" "That's not true!" "Subdue him!" "It's all right." "I'm sure he didn't realise what he was doing." "Down you go." "'This was the most desolate place to which my travels had brought me.'" "You're insane." "I know." "unarmed and on foot." "you'd be dead." "Who are the Struldbruggs?" "They live beneath the volcano." "under our feet." "They torture and kill for sport." "You'd do better to cut your throat than let them take you alive." "Thank you." "I'll remember that." "I am the Lord of Glubbdubdrib." "My name is Lemuel Gulliver." "I'm trying to find my way home to England." "I don't suppose you've heard of it." "Of course I have." "I've just come from the port of Maldonada on the other side of the volcano." "A Dutch vessel there is bound for Portsmouth." "It sails in a few days." "For Portsmouth?" " Home..." " I shall take you there." "Thank you." "But tonight you must be my guest." "Oh..." "Yes." "Thank you." "You are so lucky I saw you before the Struldbruggs." "I bought you some candles." "I do not approve of this treatment of you." "But other doctors have superiority." "They have determined that you spend a week away from human society." "I can't stay a week in here." "I'm doing everything I can to get you out." " You have to help me get better." " Of course... and you have to trust me." "take this." "It will calm you and let you sleep." "Have some whenever you want." "Please bring me paper and ink." "I'll write down everything." "you are to be forbidden these things." "take the medicine." "Your health." "Do you live alone?" "Quite alone." "I am an historian." "I need the utmost peace to study." "An historian!" "I believe the study of history to be the key to wisdom." "I'd love to browse in your library." "Library?" "I've no interest in books." "I study history purely from the source." "How is such a thing possible?" "you look very tired." "in fact." "Do have another glass of wine." "but I'm suddenly very tired." "Might I retire for the night?" "Of course." "Take your wine with you." "It might help you to sleep." "I think there's going to be a storm." "sir?" "I must have." "Where's your master?" "He is resting." "He studies at night." " He will join you for dinner." " Thank you." "You mentioned taking me to the port today." "it's not possible." "a fence was broken and my horses escaped." "My servants are out looking for them." "They won't have got far." "We'll ride to the port tomorrow." "Don't worry." "I was writing to your father." "I thought you might add a few words." "Perhaps you will touch his heart where I can't." "Tell him of your silent protest." "I'm sure he'll recognise his own stubbornness in yours." "if you like." "Write what you want." "I want him to come home." "sir... but..." "When might we go to the port?" "My servants are looking for the horses." "Don't worry." "We'll ride there tomorrow." "Tell me when might we go to the port?" "My servants are out looking for the horses." "Don't worry." "We'll ride there tomorrow." "Did I ask this yesterday?" "You only arrived yesterday." "It always seems to be dinnertime." "When might we go to the port?" "My servants are looking for the horses." "Don't worry." "We'll ride there tomorrow." "'The wine was drugged." "That's why I remembered nothing." "and waited to see what happened.'" "Are you sleeping now?" "Good." "Arise and come with me." "I stand at the gates of life and death." "spirits!" "Here is life." "Alexander the Great!" "Great warrior." "Leader of men." "Smell blood." "Smell life." "I summon you!" "Who called me and why?" "I'm in the middle of fighting Darius." "great leader." "in all humility some small details of your long and illustrious history." "Our scholars record that you met a terrible death by poisoning." "I died of a fever brought on by excessive drinking." "Where do you keep the wine?" "Wait!" "'Alexander the Great!" "I listened as he boasted of his military genius 'his strength and cunning he fell over." "'I bore witness to the resurrection of the greatest heroes of history." "'But I was astounded to see how many villains power and dignity 'and how many revolutions were due to contemptible accidents.'" "Observing how easily these men of history were summoned" "I began to see a way to gain my liberty." "spirits." "Come forward." "Here is life." "Life!" "Michelangelo!" "Mark Antony!" "Leonardo!" "I summon you." "EUREKA!" "That's it." "I've solved it!" "I've solved it!" "Ha ha!" "sir." "Outrageous." "It is so difficult to make them go back." "why not also before birth..?" "I order you to return!" "you must go back." "I beg you." "AH!" "Who's that?" "I think." "I'm only trying to alleviate my boredom." "I declare this territory to be under my direct rule." "I sent you back." "Stay dead this time!" "ADVANCE!" "Is there no end?" "What now?" "Open the doors!" "sir." "Whom have you summoned?" "I wished to ask Commander Hannibal about his adventures in the Alps." "All right." "Get out of here." "Leave me alone." "The door is locked." "'I ran until my lungs were bursting and I thought I would drop dead." "'How long had I been delayed?" "'" "'Could I reach the port in time?" "Did it even exist?" "'Or was it another fantasy?" "'" "Yes?" "Sorry for my bad behaviour." "Mother says to give this letter to my father." "Good news!" "I've persuaded the doctors to return you to your cell provided that I become more involved in treating you." "I have reconstructed my journal." "But that's wonderful." "It explains all that has happened... and why I feel the way I do." "You've finished your medicine." "We must get you some more..." "You must show this to the doctors." "Of course." "Clean all this nonsense off the walls immediately." "sir." "Tom!" "What are you doing?" "He's hiding them." "He's hiding them!" "Hiding what?" "Your letters." "You dare to trespass on our land?" "Enjoy the view." "This is the last daylight you'll see." "You are the guest of the immortal Struldbruggs." "please." "I must get to the port." "It's my last chance to get home." "Wait!" "There's been a mistake!" "I was just trying to catch a boat." "I was not trespassing!" "Please let me leave." "seekers of immortality." "no." "I don't seek it!" "Grovel before the Immortal Gatekeeper." "What gift have you brought me?" "I can't quite see." "I'm afraid I haven't...brought one." "Nothing?" "You've come before me with no gift at all?" "It will take me years to devise the manner of your awful death." "Take him away." "Wait!" "I do have something!" "A giant wasp sting!" "A wasp sting?" "'A giant wasp sting.'" "I've never seen such a thing." "I didn't expect to see you here." "You should've warned me." "This is not a suitable time." "How is he today?" "much the same." "You gave him my last letter?" "Of course." "I saw him read it." "Your letters mean a great deal to him." "He reads them many times." "I understand how hard it is for you to stay at home and wait." "we must trust the doctors." "You're a liar." "It's for the best." " I understand your anger." " You do not." "Your letters would have upset him." "I'm taking him home." "Would that it were so simple." "But he cannot leave without a formal hearing." "Then I insist a hearing takes place." "Of course." "I do not wish to keep a sane man confined." "I'll speak to the doctors." "We'll do it tomorrow." "Come and see." "I don't anticipate any problem settling the matter." "In my grasp." "Man's greatest desire - to cheat death." "Ordinary people must seem like flowers blooming and dying in a few days." "Immortality!" "Welcome to the immortal world." "This is the source of the life everlasting." "Drink from this water and you will never fear death." "Never." "But I have to get home." "There's a ship in the port." "I only have minutes before it sails." "Minutes?" "What are minutes?" "You have no need for such petty considerations." "I was offered immortality." "Man's dream." "I could learn the truths of existence." "read every book written study the planets and stars." "I'd watch the rise and fall of republics and kings offer advice to all." "I could do anything!" "It's true." "I have been there." "And seen what you describe." "The Struldbruggs." "Yes?" "Then I am not mad." "high up in the sky." "What have you been taking?" "I don't know." "It's medicine." "You're a doctor." "Why are you taking something you don't know about?" "I know what it is." "Laudanum." "Drink!" "Taste immortality." "Why is your hand shaking so badly?" "What's wrong with her?" "Nothing." "What's wrong with everyone?" "Drink the water!" "You'll defy nature." "You'll outlive the stars." "You'll be like a God." "can you?" "I'm alive." "The water keeps us alive." "You're blind." "You're all blind!" "some of us can make out shapes." "We'll never die." "That's what matters." "We never die." "Never die." "cheating death." "No!" "NO!" "'I ran like the wind." "The port was surely not far." "leapt!" "' finally." "England!" "after all the misfortunes I'd suffered nothing could go wrong." "I couldn't eat anything." "I need some of my medicine." "No." "No." "I feel very sick." "My mouth is red and swollen and I can't lift my arms." "Everyone complains of the same condition." "Perhaps I brought the fever on board." "In a week it spread through the ship." "but I refused to die." "Not after everything I'd come through." "Too warm and then too cold in the same instant." "only two others survived." "Bodies were rolled overboard by people too weak to perform a decent ceremony." "Everyone stopped working." "and I..." "I must have some of my medicine." "You're doing so well." "We lost three-quarters of our men." "We were forced to find a port and take on fresh crew." "Some real rogues." "They quickly took over the ship and imprisoned me and the other two officers." "They would have killed us." "and began to swim." "at the point of exhaustion" "'I was cast up on a deserted shore.'" "How do you feel this morning?" "if that's what you mean." "you must be honest with me." "We are different now." "If you...no longer care for me and I will try to understand." "It's a start." "We must get you ready for the doctors." "Don't be afraid." "Speak the truth." "say they're over and...they'll send you home." "Are you listening to me?" "AH!" "The work we do here at Bedlam is humane and yet disciplined." "Ah!" "Please come in." "Yahoos!" "before you today is a most exceptional patient." "Why are these people here?" "medical students." "You did not say it would be public." "I cannot reorganise the hospital for your convenience." "I want to go back to my cell." "This place is full of Yahoos." "What is your name?" "What?" "State your full name." "Lemuel Gulliver." "please." "Then perhaps Dr Bates will inform us about your condition." "May I say something first?" "Yes." "My husband shouldn't be here." "a doctor and a ship's surgeon." "he was the only survivor of a shipwreck." "Washed up on a strange shore he suffered delusions." "He invented people to talk to." "faced with the terror of being totally alone." "but he's a sane man a good man." "And he belongs at home with his family." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to offend you." "If you're a magician and you've changed yourself into a horse lost and alone." "I would like to ride on your back to the nearest village or town." "wait!" "Please wait!" "You see before you one of the most unusual cases it has been my sad privilege to examine." "I have my own observations about it." "But I would prefer that the patient himself explain a little." "I'm sure you'll find what he has to say...instructive." "Come." "This hearing is at your request." "Everyone is waiting." "What is it to be today?" "More giants?" "Flying islands?" " I don't want to say anything." " Really?" "Surely you've had some more fine talks with Plato or Aristotle." "Don't disappoint us." "Nothing to say?" "escort him back to his cell." "I..." "I..." "I...don't...eat...hay." "I beg your pardon?" "I don't eat hay." "thank you." "Do you have any milk?" "from cows." "Is this where I must sleep?" "At least it isn't with those horrible savages." "I can't sleep here!" "See how they tried to attack me!" "And the smell!" "those...?" "Yahoo." "Ya-hoos?" "YAHOO!" "Yahoos?" "Man." "I'm a m..." "MAN." "yes." "Man." "You can talk." "What sort of being are you?" "Are you a horse?" "Houyhnhnm." "Hou..." "Hou..." "Houyhnhnm?" "Houyhnhnm." "Houyhnhnm!" "That's quite enough of that." "Horses that talked?" "That built houses?" "That milked cows?" "Kept pets?" "Silence!" "This is a medical examination." "I know that any man would laugh at such a story." "But listen before you pass judgement." "which is surely the purpose of this assembly" "I ask for your attention." "tell us these horses didn't talk." "They talked." "'I struggled to learn the language of the Houyhnhnms." "'I was a poor student." "the mare who found me 'learned my speech faster than I hers.'" "They are the most extraordinary creatures any man ever met." "conflicts or disagreements." "Everything is resolved by the exercise of reason." "Simple reason." "The name Houyhnhnm means "perfection of nature"." "You're not here to lecture us but to be examined." "Sit down." "They have a strange custom there is silence before they speak." "This made me consider what I had to say much more carefully." "I tried to give Mistress an explanation of our society - how I was a doctor who heals the sick." "But she could not understand the concept of disease something absent from their society." "I can't begin to describe all the human sicknesses possible." "We feed on many things which work against each other." "We eat when we are not hungry and drink strong liquor without thirst." "finding it hard to believe my words.'" "When I tried to explain what I meant by "lying" she was shocked." "to receive information." "And if anyone said the thing which is not - a lie - then that purpose was defeated." "sir." "I merely point out that she could conceive of no purpose to lying which is so perfectly understood and universally practised by humans." "'She found it hard to understand government and war." "punishment and a thousand things their language had no word.' beasts of burden." "We put iron on their feet so they can walk our stony roads and saddles so they can be ridden." " By Yahoos?" " They had no choice!" "Horses are broken when they're young." "to take down their spirits." "or kicked with spurs." "They pull our loads and plough our fields." "and we race them for our entertainment." "And when they get too old to work or to be ridden for fun skinned and sold for dog meat." "sir?" "The proposition is that this society of horses is superior to our own." "sir?" "I'm insisting!" "seemed to have no virtues whatsoever." "'The Houyhnhnm language has no word for evil 'but everything that is bad has "Yahoo" added to it." "'There are a lot of such words.' the Houyhnhnms saw no resemblance between my appearance 'and that of the brutish Yahoos." "'Until one morning.'" "Yahoo!" "Yahoo!" "I'm not a Yahoo!" "they cover my body." "Everyone in my country wears clothes." "because of modesty." "Imagine if men and women went around naked!" "We'd..." "We'd be preoccupied with sex." "Yahoo!" "we're civilised." "clothes tell you how important someone is." "If you're wealthy you wear clothes of flimsy material that need to be cleaned constantly." "You buy new clothes all the time." "it's unpardonable for a lady to wear a dress more than once." "because..." "I'm a man and men don't wear dresses." "dear." "Can we change the subject?" "You mean your horse friend didn't understand the need for clothes?" "Precisely." " Do you?" " What do you mean?" "Why not be seen as God made us?" "Every Christian knows it would be immodest." "Would these ladies and gentlemen be incapable of modesty if they were not wearing clothes?" "sir." "'They were concerned that I was a Yahoo 'and should be treated as one." "'I told Mistress that if together we could study these creatures 'it would become apparent that I had nothing in common with them." "'and we could clear up this confusion once and for all." "'Day One" " Leadership." "'Each herd had a ruling Yahoo." "'I wondered how the Yahoos picked their leader." "'In our country we seek to elect the most intelligent amongst us." "'The Yahoos picked the most mischievous.'" "This leader would choose a favourite whose job was to lick his master's feet and posterior and drive the female Yahoos to his kennel." "What are you implying?" "He would continue in office until an even worse candidate could be found." "Then the Yahoos in the district would come and discharge excrement on him." "I am warning you!" "Day Two" " Aggression." "'The bestial Yahoos fight for no reason at all." "we only fight for a good reason." "because our enemies are much weaker than us 'or we desire all their land.'" "Day Three" " Mating." "I fear I may shock you with my experience of their practices but I believe it's vital that you share my deep revulsion at the antics of our neighbours." "The red-haired males and females of the species were more highly sexed than the rest" "so I should have been on my guard." "and I thought the Yahoo herd had moved on 'so I decided to take advantage of the cool water.'" "beyond the violence 'was that I could be mistaken by a female on heat for another Yahoo.' a brute?" "'" "I wanted to turn away in disgust." "Enough of this nonsense!" "We know enough to make our..." "Then there came a terrible temptation." "'Mistress took me to a cliff I'd not visited before 'where the Yahoos were digging stones out of the clay.'" "'She explained how the Yahoos coveted these strange rocks 'and asked me why.'" "they're called diamonds." "What are they for?" "I have no idea." "Primitive people like shiny things." "They have no value?" "None whatsoever." "Liar!" "What a liar I was." "That night I made a pick from a flint head." "I crept back to the quarry." "All night long I hacked away to get at the diamonds." "Do you know why I left my wife to go to sea?" "Do you?" "I couldn't earn enough as a doctor at home so I took a surgeon's wages from a shipping company." "holding a fortune in my hands." "I'd never have to work again." "I'm rich!" "Rich." "I can have anything I want." "'But what did I want?" "I thought of only one thing - home of waking in my own bed with my wife and the things that I knew around me." "Now I was rich enough to give Mary everything." "Except I couldn't leave." "all I wanted was to stay here." "I would rather live with these Houyhnhnms than with my own wife." "I'd lost all my vices." "There was no one to envy or steal from or flatter or brag or lie to." "And if I left this place what could happen except my corruption?" "That's my grand country house!" "That's my fine clothes!" "And the servants to dress me!" "And my hunting and my fishing and my vintage wines!" "Because I'm never going back!" "I'm going to become a Houyhnhnm!" "That night I slept with a peace I hadn't experienced for years." "I didn't hear the Yahoos creep up and steal my clothes." "Yahoos on the rampage." "They had found a trough of fermenting apples and drunk the lot." "They smashed everything in their path." "My coat!" "Give me..." "'The Houyhnhnm Council reached its judgement." "I must leave them forever." "I must remain with my own kind.'" "How long do I have?" "Until the full moon." "Mistress!" "then?" "Am I really just another Yahoo in the end?" "Am I?" "!" "Am I just another animal?" "'I worked long days." "the sooner the better.'" "'I built a boat of skins." "rabbits and other provisions.' we humans." "until they've lost all their meaning." "as the last day dawned that my heart was breaking..." "I have never known such awful pain and loneliness." "You are more Houyhnhnm than Yahoo." "the Houyhnhnms cried out to me from the beach." "'I didn't turn to look." "'It is a sound that will stay with me for the rest of my life.'" "'When I could no longer see land I threw all my food overboard." "'I had decided not to return home." "I couldn't live with humans again." "'After many hours a shadow came across my boat." "'I realised that Death had come to claim me.'" "No." "Go away!" "Go!" "no!" "No!" "talking to no one." "I ate the foul Yahoo food only to survive." "until I reached England." "This is the most extraordinary story." "I've never heard a story like it." "When my husband came here he was very disturbed." "And I think he's been encouraged to believe his fantasies really existed." "he's purged himself." "Lemuel is not insane." "and I know that is his wish also." "You say your husband is not insane." "Then do you believe his fantastical stories?" "I believe he has suffered greatly." "But do you believe him?" "It is a simple question." "I believe he has much to teach us..." "I ask you again!" "Do you believe him or not?" "Who in this room has been harmed by him?" "and my answer is this." "I believe in him." "I believe Lemuel is a truly good man." "I believe he is an honest man." "And I believe his journey has made him a better man." "Tell me the crime he has committed that merits this terrible punishment." "What if his stories are true or not?" "What does it matter?" "unquenchable thirst to see the world and drink everything in it." "And now that thirst is quenched." "Perhaps he has drunk more than any man could swallow but who are we to judge him?" "Who are we to doubt his word and compel him to remain here?" "and now I ask mine." "Who in this room has been harmed by him?" "He is harming himself." "It is our Christian duty to keep him here until we cure him." "Your motives for keeping him here are anything but Christian." "How dare you question me!" "he must be locked up." "gibbering against Mankind tearing down all shreds of decency and modesty filthy in word and thought!" "He has a hatred against the human race and a mind fuelled with images from the dunghill!" "Are we to stand by and hear our nature libelled and besmirched?" "I have tried to speak the truth as I saw it." "What arrogance!" "What presumption!" "To show men what they are and teach them!" "You are either a liar or a lunatic." "Which is it?" "GENTLEMEN!" "not a prison." "but to cure them." "you are clearly suffering from a disease of the mind." "This journey happened only in your head." "All we ask is that you acknowledge this." "then you may leave." "What do you say?" "Then I may leave?" "Of course." "Lemuel." "Every single thing I have told you is the truth and happened to me." "Why do you persist?" "!" "You say you saw all these things that no one else has ever seen." "Have you one shred of proof?" " I did have..." " No!" "He has no proof!" "it is not enough." "We shall review your case next year at the same time." "take him back to his cell." "I'm telling the truth!" "Why won't anyone believe me?" "Who is this child?" "what are you doing here?" "boy." "but he was in the garden eating grass." "I found him again this morning." "'We never saw Bates again." "but I don't know if it's true." "but he never returned to claim it." "'The first money I laid out when I returned 'was to buy two young horses' and I converse with them every day." "'It was many months before I could look in a mirror without disgust." "'But my family let me walk at my own pace and showed me a kindness 'that is perhaps greater than reason might allow." "like a true father" "Mary 'to whom I owe my life and freedom." "'All the Yahoo vices I can begin to accustom myself to once more." "and that I cannot tolerate." "'I see myself for what I truly am." "'I lost eight years of my life the marvels I have witnessed 'the wonderful truths I have seen!" "when night falls and you close your eyes to sleep and dream" "'I have seen the things you can only dream about." "'I have been there." "'I was lost at sea for a long time." "yes." "and back.'"