"(VIKINGS YELLING)" "(WOMEN SHRIEKING)" "Have you done this sort of thing before?" "Me?" "Of course." "I've been looting and pillaging up and down the coast." "Looting and pillaging, eh?" "Yes." "What about the raping?" "Shut up." "Well, it's obvious you haven't raped anyone in your life." "(SHUSHING)" "Do you like women?" "Huh?" "Of course I like women." "I love them." "You don't love me." "Well, no, I don't." "Mind you, I'm not saying I couldn't get to like you." "As a matter of fact, I actually prefer it if there's some sort of mutual feeling between two people." "What?" "Rape?" "Well, no." "Obviously then it wouldn't be rape then, would it?" "Get it over with." "I don't suppose that you..." "No." "No." "What?" "I don't suppose that you..." "You do like me at all?" "What do you expect?" "You come in here, burn my village, kill my family and try to rape me." "You don't like it, do you?" "Well, I just think it's a little bit crude, that's all." "What about all the killing and looting?" "That's just as crude, isn't it?" "(CHUCKLING) Well, you have to do them." "Why?" "Why have you got to go around killing and looting all the time?" "To pay for the next expedition, of course." "But that's a circular argument." "If the only reason for the expedition is the killing and looting and the only reason for the killing and looting is to pay for the next expedition, they cancel each other out." "Stop talking as if we're married!" "Well, you started it." "I just said I didn't feel like raping you." "And I was just saying that rape is no more pointless or crude than all the killing and looting." "Scream." "(EXCLAIMS FAINTLY)" "Louder." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Rape!" "Thanks." "Rape?" "Where?" "He raped me standing up." "You finished, then?" "I suppose so..." "Right!" "Leave her alone!" "No!" "Thanks for saving me from a fate worse than death." "I didn't mean to!" "That's all right then." "It's the thought that counts." "You told them I raped you." "Why?" "I don't know." "You looked so vulnerable." "Why should you care?" "Why should you care?" "Tell me your name." "Tell me, what is it?" "(EXCLAIMS)" "Erik the Viking." "What can you want with me, Erik the Viking?" "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come." "Afraid they will make fun of you for listening to an old woman's stories?" "(WOMAN CHUCKLING)" "Young men, only interested in fighting and killing." "Yes." "But has it always been like that?" "Since the beginning of time?" "What do you see, Erik?" "I see the world." "Is it night or day, Erik?" "Why, it is day, of course, Freya." "Is it winter or summer, Erik?" "Well, the winter is passed." "It is summer." "Have you ever seen the sun, Erik?" "No, it's up beyond the clouds where it always is." "But have you ever seen it, Erik?" "Think back." "I remember once as a child." "A dream." "It was as if the whole sky were blue." "It was blue, Erik." "The old stories tell of an age that would come such as this when Fenrir the Wolf would swallow the sun and a great winter would settle on the world." "It was to be an ax age, a sword age, a storm age, when brother would turn against brother and men would fight each other until the world was finally destroyed." "Then this is the Age of Ragnarok?" "Is there nothing men can do?" "The gods are asleep, Erik." "I will go and wake them up then." "Tell me what I must do." "Far out in the midst of the Western Ocean, there is a land." "Men call it Hy-Brasil." "There you will find a horn." "This horn is called Resounding." "You must take the Horn Resounding and three times you must blow it." "The first note will take you to Asgard." "The second note will awaken the gods." "And the third note will bring you home." "Once you are in the spell of the Horn, hatred will destroy you." "Will the dead ever return, Freya?" "That I cannot tell you." "If you ever thought of converting, my dear, now would be an ideal opportunity." "Not now!" "No, of course not." "But you might not get another chance." "Go away!" "Right." "I'll..." "Yes, that's what I'll do." "I'll pray for you." "Let her go!" "Why?" "We haven't hit a single braid yet!" "He hit my wife!" "That showed her." "What's the matter?" "We're missing the fun." "What's it all about, Grandpa?" "What?" "We toil and labor, we loot and pillage, we rape and kill, and yet..." "Why you talking this piffle, son?" "Where does it all get us, Grandpa?" "Who you been talking to?" "I met this girl." "Woman." "It's always a woman who causes all the trouble." "She got me thinking..." "So?" "What'd you do to her?" "I killed her." "(LAUGHS)" "That's my boy!" "Come on, Erik." "Erik, what are you doing?" "Thorfinn just said Sven's grandfather died of old age." "He must fight to the death." "That's right!" "Sven must kill me." "Aren't you afraid of death, Thorfinn Skullsplitter?" "Not death by the sword!" "It means I shall drink in Valhalla with the great warriors." "You don't believe in this Valhalla nonsense, do you?" "Go away." "Right." "Fine." "Just checking." "And you, Sven, aren't you afraid of crossing the Rainbow Bridge to Asgard?" "I will join my grandfather there." "He's not in Valhalla!" "He died of old age!" "You liar!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "There's only one way to settle it." "He must kill me!" "There is another way." "Who gets killed?" "Nobody gets killed." "Oh, well..." "It'll be dangerous." "Maybe none of us will return." "Shall we all go and pack now?" "What are you talking about, Erik?" "What if we could find Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge?" "Find the Rainbow Bridge?" "Find it and cross it!" "Look, you can't find somewhere that doesn't exist." "Shut up!" "Right." "What's the matter?" "Are you afraid to try?" "Of course we're not afraid to try, but..." "But what?" "But what?" "Nobody's ever crossed the Rainbow Bridge to Asgard." "We'd be the first!" "You mean we'd be dead?" "No!" "We would be the first living men to set foot in the halls of the gods." "But how?" "I don't know." "But I'm not afraid to try." "Well, I'm not afraid of anything." "Neither am I." "Wish you were going, too?" "But you can't." "Too busy." "That's a good one." "You could charge Halfdan 15 for that one." "Yes, it is good, isn't it?" "But I told him 10, Loki." "You charge him what you like." "You just can't make enough swords and spears and knives and daggers to satisfy the demand." "You could charge Halfdan 20 for that and he'd pay it." "I couldn't do that." "The Blacksmith's Code says that I must..." "Yes, yes, of course, the Blacksmith's Code." "If this is the Age of Ragnarok," "Keitel Blacksmith, it is good to us." "Can't make enough swords!" "Can't make enough ax-heads!" "But, Keitel..." "If Erik ever finds the Horn Resounding, if he ever crosses Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge, if he ever wakens the gods..." "They chase Fenrir the Wolf from the sky." "The Age of Ragnarok ends and..." "The bottom falls out of the sword business!" "It's not just your livelihood at stake but your son's and..." "Well, the livelihood of all blacksmiths." "My brother blacksmiths." "That's right." "You just can't let Erik do that." "What's your business?" "I wish to speak to Halfdan the Black." "He's too busy." "I have money." "See!" "(MAN SCREAMING)" "Come along, Hecate." "Look, I'm not an unreasonable man, Thord Andersson, but this is the second chance that I've given you." "But I'm a poor man, sir." "Yes, but it's not just me, you see." "A lot of people depend on this money." "I really can't give you a third chance, I'm so sorry." "Would you behead him, please?" "No!" "Take all my sheep, all of them." "That's a good idea." "Take all his sheep." "(WOMEN CRYING)" "Take everything!" "If only they'd think ahead." "I really wish they would." "Ah!" "The blacksmith's assistant from Ravensfjord." "Garrote him, would you, please?" "No, no." "My lord, Halfdan the Black." "You've brought me more swords?" "I bring more than swords." "I bring a warning from my master." "A warning?" "No!" "Flay them both alive, would you?" "No, it's a mistake." "Erik and the men of Ravensfjord are setting off to cross the Western Ocean." "Lucky things!" "I could do with a holiday, I could tell you." "All this financial work, you know, the stress really gets you." "Flay him alive, garrote him and then behead him." "No, I'm not Hildir Eysteinsson!" "I'm Hjalti Skeggjason!" "You've got the wrong man." "(SHUSHING)" "They seek to drive Fenrir the Wolf from the sky to waken the gods and to bring the Age of Ragnarok to an end." "End Ragnarok?" "Who do they think they are?" "(WHIMPERING)" "Just cut his hand off." "Oh, thank you, thank you, my lord." "Thank you, a million thank yous." "Perhaps you could cut them both off if you want." "Thank you very much." "So why should you tell me all this?" "Because, my lord, my livelihood depends on Ragnarok." "Like yours." "And, of course, if anything should happen to your master, you would become blacksmith of Ravensfjord." "Don't forget, never let your enemy get behind you." "No, Mother." "Keep your sword greased." "Yes, Mother." "Good-bye, Dad." "Don't forget to wash, you know, all over." "No, Dad." "And if you have to kill somebody, kill them!" "Don't stop to think about it." "I never do..." "It's a tradition." "I know, Dad." "You told me." "I was a berserk for King Harald Fairhair." "You went berserk..." "I went berserk in every battle" "I ever fought for King Harald." "So did your father..." "So did my father and his father before him." "But it's a responsibility..." "But it's a responsibility, being a berserk." "I must only let the red rage..." "You must only let the red rage take hold of you in the thick of battle." "I know!" "I've heard it all a thousand times!" "No, no, no, no." "You'll never make a berserk." "If you let it out now you'll have nothing left for battle." "Well, we'll be off now." "Say something a little more than that." "Right." "(WOMAN SOBBING)" "Mom." "Don't be sad." "Maybe untold dangers do lie ahead of us, and some of you may well be looking at the ones you love for the last time." "But don't grieve." "You see, even if the hordes of Muspell tear us limb from limb or the Fire Giants burn each and every one of us to a cinder, even if we're swallowed by the Dragon of the North Sea" "or if we fall off the edge of the world, don't cry." "(WOMEN SOBBING)" "No!" "No!" "Don't cry." "It's all fantasy, there is no edge of the world." "There is no Dragon of the North Sea." "That's what you say." "My son, I don't want you to go." "I don't want me to go, either." "Listen, it's not certain all of us are going to die, and in any case we may not die hideous deaths." "You'd best be going." "Right, farewell and for the..." "Don't say anything else!" "Wait, Erik!" "You can't go without me." "Who will sharpen your swords and mend your shields?" "Oh, no!" "Not him, too!" "What's the matter now?" "If Keitel Blacksmith goes with you..." "We'll have no one to do the things he did for us." "Or sharpen our knives and mend our pans." "Well, you have Loki, Keitel's assistant, to do all that." "ALL:" "Loki?" "(WOMEN EXCLAIM IN DISGUST)" "What's the matter with Loki?" "He's so small and..." "Yes, we've got Loki." "That's true." "You coming?" "You don't even believe in Asgard." "No." "But I do hope to do a little business on the way." "You're wasting your time." "Listen," "I have been in this dump for 16 years and I have not made a single convert in all that time." "There was Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife." "You converted her." "Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife became a Buddhist, not a Christian." "Same thing, isn't it?" "No, it is not." "(MEN CLAMORING)" "Hey, you two, what's going on?" "I was sitting there." "No, you weren't." "Leif's sitting here." "I need a bit of luck." "Look, I picked it last week." "It doesn't matter where you sit." "Yes, it does." "We could be at sea for months." "What difference does it make where you're sitting?" "I'm not sitting behind Snorri all that time." "Thank you very much indeed." "Sven, sit back there." "Leif, you better sit here and Harald, sit here." "Trust me to get the missionary." "What are you doing here?" "You might need a real berserk." "I am one, Dad!" "But we haven't got a spare place." "He can have my place." "I don't really want to go anyway." "ERIK:" "Well, you are!" "He could have Bjorn's place." "Bjorn's not coming." "What's the matter with Bjorn?" "Halfdan the Black chopped off both his hands last night." "He was lucky." "Well, sit there." "You can't have Sven's dad sitting next to Sven." "They'll argue the whole time." "That's true." "Um..." "Sven, sit behind Thorfinn." "Now you've got all the big ones on one side." "Thangbrand, sit where Ornulf is." "Ornulf, sit where Ulf is." "Ulf, sit where Thangbrand was." "Ragnar, sit behind Thorfinn." "Thorfinn, stay where you are." "I wanted to sit next to Leif." "Shut up." "Sven, switch with Snorri." "Snorri, sit behind Sven." "Keitel, sit here." "Harald there." "Leif there, Bjarni there." "Now you've got all the ones with beards on one side and all the moustaches on the other." "That doesn't matter." "Erik!" "Wait!" "Here, son." "Your father always made sure he could rest his head at night." "(MEN SNICKERING)" "I can't take that on a voyage." "It was your father's." "It was the pillow he took with him." "Well, he said it once saved his life." "Please!" "ERIK:" "Thanks, Mum." "Row!" "Row!" "Have a good look." "That's the last we'll see of old Norway." "Good-bye, home." "Good-bye, loved ones." "Good-bye, lunch." "You all right?" "No, I'm not." "You don't need to feel bad about being seasick, you know." "How can you help feeling bad when you're seasick?" "I mean, many of the greatest sailors were pukers." "I know." "I know." "Olaf Tryggvason used to throw up on every single voyage." "The whole time, non-stop." "Puke, puke, puke." "Look!" "I don't feel bad about it." "I just feel ill." "He used to puke in his sleep." "The bastard." "(RETCHING)" "Thorfinn." "It's Halfdan the Black." "I know." "No, no, put it away." "Break out the oars, come on." "Move it." "We've only just started cooking supper." "(ALL RETCHING)" "You're going to run away from him, are you, Erik?" "Row, Thorfinn Skullsplitter." "Row!" "We can't keep this up!" "Row, row, row, row." "And up!" "The Gates of the World." "What?" "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "Now, we're in the unknown." "Look!" "I never thought I should live to see the sun again." "Where?" "So that is what the sun looks like!" "Should the sun do that?" "Excuse me, what are you looking at?" "Look out!" "(MEN YELLING)" "It's not the sun!" "What is it?" "It's the Dragon of the North Sea!" "That's why I can't see it." "Some dragon!" "Yeah." "What the hell?" "MAN:" "Look out!" "Row!" "Row!" "What's all the panic about?" "The dragon." "Children afraid of the dark." "We must kill!" "Kill!" "No good going berserk against a dragon!" "Stop it!" "What are you doing?" "Row!" "His dad was the same." "He used to take 40 winks in the middle of a battle." "Has anybody told him we've got a dragon eating our boat?" "Barmy!" "It's at times like this that this book could prove most useful." "Shut up!" "Breathe in, you cod brain!" "Hold on tight!" "Get back!" "Get back!" "Get back!" "Look out!" "Who was that?" "Leif the Lucky." "I can't hang on!" "Let me go, Sven." "If you go, I go too." "Look out!" "(MEN SHOUTING)" "(SHOUTING STOPS)" "(SHOUTING RESUMES)" "My knee!" "First we're flying, now we're sinking." "(MEN SNORING)" "What is it?" "Oh, it's the dragon again!" "No, no, it isn't." "The sun!" "That's it!" "The sky is blue." "Erik!" "(MEN CHEERING)" "She's got no clothes on." "It's disgusting." "Get her weapons." "She hasn't got any." "She must have a knife or something." "What kind of place is this?" "Maybe they've got weapons we haven't even dreamed of." "Let's hack her to pieces." "No." "Well, what else do we do?" "How about making friends?" "Friends?" "What's wrong with making friends?" "You don't go through all the hardships of an ocean voyage to make friends." "We can make friends at home." "WOMAN:" "Welcome!" "What did you say?" "I said you're welcome." "Welcome?" "Well, of course." "We always welcome friends." "How do you know we're friends?" "Well, everyone is friends here on Hy-Brasil." "Hy-Brasil?" "Is this Hy-Brasil?" "Well, of course." "Please!" "Please!" "What are those?" "What are what?" "Those things in your hand." "These?" "These?" "What are these?" "Yes." "They're swords." "Oh, no!" "What?" "No!" "Put them down!" "Please!" "Please put them down!" "What's the matter?" "Please!" "You don't know what you're doing!" "Make them put them down." "Why?" "Yeah, why?" "Why?" "Yes." "But surely you know?" "ALL:" "No!" "Know what?" "Well, the wonderful blessing under which we live here on Hy-Brasil!" "No, we don't." "The gods decreed that if ever swords spilled human blood upon these shores, the whole of Hy-Brasil would sink beneath the waves." "You mean if just one person gets killed?" "This whole place would sink?" "Yes!" "You mean, you can't kill anybody?" "That's terrible!" "Right!" "Isn't it wonderful?" "But how do you take revenge?" "How do you punish people?" "How do you defend yourselves?" "We don't have to." "We're all terribly nice to each other." "All the time?" "KING:" "Well, of course!" "We have to be." "ALL:" "Being nice to each other is what it's all about!" "You see, we're terribly nice to each other." "We're friendly, bold and free." "We never say anything nasty 'cause we dare not." "ALL: (CHANTING) No, sirree!" "Would you like us to sing for you?" "(CHANTING CONTINUES)" "Sing?" "Well, that's very kind of you, but we're in a hurry and... (CHANTING STOPS)" "What's the matter?" "Don't you want to hear our singing?" "Oh, well, yes, of course, it's just..." "You don't think our singing's going to be good enough for you?" "Well, I'm sure it's lovely." "But you don't want to hear it." "No, no, no, no." "We'd love to hear it, wouldn't we?" "ALL:" "Yes!" "Well, you'll have to ask us really nicely." "Um..." "Well, we'd..." "We'd be terribly grateful if you would sing for us." "You're just saying that." "Well, of course he is!" "ERIK:" "Of course we're not." "We would genuinely like to hear you sing." "Really?" "Really." "And you're not just saying that because you think we want you to?" "No." "Summon the musicians!" "We'll do the one that goes..." "Tum-tum-tum-tum-ti-tum-tum." "But it's not the one we're best at." "Could we do the one that goes..." "Tum-ti-tum-ti-tum-ti-tum." "Not when we've got visitors." "KING:" "The musicians!" "(CLEARING THROAT)" "(ALL CLEARING THROATS)" "Oh, dear, I'm sure you're not going to like this." "(CACOPHONY BEGINS)" "(BAGPIPES HONKING)" "(CACOPHONY CONTINUES)"