"We're getting married." "Did you know about this?" "He couldn't imagine the rest of his life without me." "And then he gave me this." "Ante up." "You play for kittens?" "!" "Have you spoken to Dawn about that incident at Halloween?" "I thought you took care of that." "Right." "What would I do without you?" "Willow, you are using too much magic." "What do you want me to do, just sit back and keep my mouth shut?" "Well, that'd be a good start." "Let's just forget it ever happened." "Forget." "I think I was in heaven." "I was torn out of there." "Pulled out, by my friends." "Can we talk?" "Vocal-cord-wise, yes." "With each other?" "No." "We have to talk." "About what?" "We kissed, Buffy." "So?" "We kissed, you and me." "All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music, and the rising music, and what was that, Buffy?" "A spell?" "Oh, don't get all prim and proper with me." "I know what kind of girl you really are." "Don't I." "What we did is done." "But I will never kiss you, Spike." "Never touch you ever, *ever* again." "Easy, boys." "No need to get physical-like." "Is there, Mister Spike?" "You know this guy?" "!" "Yeah." "Whadda you want?" "You know me, there are a lot of things I would like, Mister Spike." "A house in Bel Air with a generously sized swimming pool and of course, the forty Siamese that you owe me." "Take it easy, you'll get your kittens." "I trust you, Mister Spike." "Oh god, what is it with you guys?" "Why kittens?" "Why can't you just use money like everybody else?" "She's funny." "I like funny in a girl." "I just need a little more time." "Time, time, time!" "Is what turns kittens into cats!" "Look, I don't wanna see anyone get hurt." "Boys." "Then you'd better close your eyes." "I said she was the Slayer, boss." "Ahh, good for you." "The vampire slayer." "Have you ever given any thought to freelance work?" "A little debt collecting, perhaps?" "No thank you." "Boss, he's gone." "Spike has split." "Well, that's what I get for socializing." "All right, come on, boys, we'll locate Mister Spike and *talk* to him a little more." "Oh." "It was a genuine pleasure." "If I were to stop saving his life, it would simple things up *so* much." "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" "Season 6 Episode 8 Tabula Rasa" "Do you think she walked around on clouds, wearing like Birkenstocks and played a harp?" "'Cause those are just not flattering." "You know, the clonky sandals, not a harp." "I mean, who doesn't look good with a harp?" "What?" "I'm just saying what everyone's thinking, right baby?" "You are attractive and have many good qualities." "It's totally not stupid to wonder what it was like for Buffy." "But it could have been any one of a zillion heavenly dimensions." "All we know is that it was a good place and she was happy there." "And we took her away from that." "We wrecked it for her." "We didn't wreck." "We didn't know." "We didn't wanna know." "We were so selfish." "I was so selfish." "Maybe we were." "I just feel weird feeling bad that my friend's not dead." "It's too mind-boggling." "So I've decided to simplify the whole thing." "Me like Buffy." "Buffy's alive, so, me glad." "Not to be Miss Psycho Pep Squad, but we have got to stop obsessing about what we did" "And start trying to make things better for Buffy." "I'm with Miss Psycho Pep Squad." "We need to spend more time with her, just hang out." "Maybe have weekly dinners over here, or a book club." "Short books." "Videos." "I can fix it." "I know a spell." "No!" "No more spells." "Then what?" "This isn't something that's gonna be fixed by a video club." "I know I messed up, okay, and I wanna fix it." "I can't believe that we are talking about this again." "You know how powerful magic is, how dangerous." "You could hurt someone, you could hurt yourself." "I know a spell that will make her forget she was ever in heaven." "God, what is wrong with you?" "!" "I'm gonna go get that phone you probably don't hear." "High-pitched ring, ears like a dog." "I'm gonna help you with that." "Do you think I'm stupid?" "I know you used that spell on me." "Tara, I'm sorry, I ..." "Don't!" "Just don't." "There's nothing you can say." "Tara, I didn't mean to ..." "To what?" "Violate my mind like that?" "How could you, Willow?" "How could you after what Glory did to me?" "Violate you?" "I didn't mean anything like that," "I just wanted us not to fight any more." "I love you." "If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight." "You don't use magic to make a fight disappear." "But I just wanted to make things better." "Better for us." "But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will." "We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together." "Okay." "I'm I realize I did it wrong." "You did it the way you're doing everything." "When things get rough, you don't even consider the options." "You just do a spell." "It's not good for you, Willow." "And it's not what magic is for." "But I just wanna help people." "Maybe that's how it started, but you're helping yourself now, fixing things to your liking." "Including me." "Tara, no!" "I don't think this is gonna work." "Hey." "It is, it's working." "Tara, please." "I need you, baby." "I need you." "I don't need magic, I don't," "I let me prove it to you, okay?" "I will go a month without doing any magic." "I won't do a single spell." "I swear." "Go a week." "One week without magic." "Fine." "Fine, that's easy!" "Go a week, and then we'll see." "I don't know, I just think we both need some I don't know, space." "I can't believe I'm saying this." "Are you saying you're gonna leave me?" "I have to." "You have to be strong." "I'm trying to ..." "Trying to, to what?" "Desert me?" "Abandon me?" "Leave me all alone when I really need somebody?" "I don't want to leave ..." "So don't." "Please don't." "I can't do this without you." "You can." "That's why I'm going." "As long as I stay you'll always turn to me if there's something comes up that you feel that you can't handle," "And I'll step in because I can't bear to see you suffer." "Me too." "Hate suffering." "Had about as much of it as I can take." "Believe me, I'm loathe to cause you more, but this" "I've taught you all I can about being a slayer, and your mother taught you what you needed to know about life." "You're not gonna trust that until you're forced to stand alone." "But why now?" "Now that you know where I've been, what I'm going through?" "Now more than ever." "The temptation to give up is gonna be overwhelming, and I can't let ..." "So I won't!" "No giving up." "You can be here, and I can still be strong." "Buffy, I've thought this over and over." "I believe it's the right thing to do." "You're wrong." "Willow, come on, you ready?" "Not so much." "You go ahead, tell Giles to hold up." "I'll be there in a sec." "Fine." "Hurry up." "You don't wanna miss the lowdown on our latest featured creature." "For Buffy and Tara, this I char." "Let Lethe's Bramble do its chore." "Purge their minds of memories grim, of pains from recent slights and sins." "When the fire goes out, when the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast." "Tabula rasa, tabula rasa, tabula rasa." "So whadda we got?" "Sorry?" "What kind of oogly-boogleys?" "Lizardy types, or zombies, or vampires, or what?" "There are no oogly-boogleys, Dawn." "Thanks for the jacket." "It's cold out there." "Not a problem, the cold only makes me stronger and more macho-like." "I'm glad you're here" "I have something I really have to tell you all." "I know it feels like we've been through this before" "Why don't you just jump to the chase?" "Tell them that you're ..." "Spike?" "Holy moly." "You need to give me asylum." "I'll say." "No need to get cute." "It's a disguise." "Happens there's a bloke I'd rather not see just now." "You met him, I believe." "Toothy bloke with the baby-seal breath?" "Nasty fellow, him." "And ugly too." "He's got a mouthful of choppers just waiting to be yanked out and worn as necklaces." "Well, now that we've recovered from Spike's sartorial humor," "I'll jump to the chase." "I'm headed back to England and I plan to stay indefinitely." "Now?" "Not now, I mean, not after everything." "Yes, now." "For real this time?" "'Cause honest to Pete, a young shopkeeper's heart can only take so much" "I mean, not that I want you to go ..." "I can't do this." "I just, I don't think" "Buffy, listen." "I know this must be awful for you, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for" "Sorry." "Everybody's sorry." "I know that you guys are just trying to help" "But it's just, it's too much." "And I can't take it any more." "If you guys" "If you guys understood how it felt how it feels." "It's like I'm dying, it ..." "Hey." "Hey?" "Hello?" "Who, who are you people?" "Don't worry." "Please don't hurt me!" "Oh, it's okay." "I don't know anyone here either." "Yeah?" "Who are you?" "I ..." "Okay, who are you freaks?" "You don't know me?" "Not a clue." "But you were just all like, 'oh, hey. '" "Yeah, 'cause I thought you were a girl and I'd remember, but" "Well, I am a girl!" "I'm not sure who I am exactly, but" "Okay, why was I on the ground?" "And why are you all staring at me?" "Is this some kind of psych test?" "Am I getting paid for this?" "It's not just you." "Does anyone remember anything?" "Nope." "Well, maybe we all got terribly drunk and this is some sort of blackout." "I don't think I drink." "I don't see any booze." "I don't feel any head bumps." "I don't see Allen Funt." "Who?" "Okay." "I'm not panicking." "I'm not." "I'm not." "Stop looking at me like I'm panicking!" "Hey, hey, take it easy, guy." "Okay, no one's hurt, right?" "And none of us look all hatchety-murdery." "So we're probably safe." "Here." "Wherever here is." "Look at this stuff on these shelves." "Weird jars of weird stuff." "Weird books with weird covers, like Magic for Beginners." "This is a magic shop." "A real magic shop." "Well, maybe that's it." "Maybe something magic happened ..." "Magic!" "Magic's all balderdash and chicanery." "I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing." "Except I seem to be British, don't I?" "And a man." "With glasses." "Well, that narrows it down considerably." "I don't like this." "It's okay, don't worry." "We'll take care of each other." "We'll all get our memory back, and it'll all be right as rain." "Oh, listen to Mary Poppins." "He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent." "You Englishmen are always so Bloody hell!" "Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks." "Oh God!" "I'm English!" "Welcome to the nancy tribe." "You don't suppose you and I we're not related, are we?" "There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance." "And you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity and disappointment." "Older brother?" "Father." "Oh, god, how I must hate you." "What did I do?" "There's always something, and what's with the trollop?" "Her?" "I saw you!" "Sleeping together." "Resting together." "Look!" "It's okay." "We're engaged." "It's a lovely ring." "Oh, great, a tarty stepmom who's half old Daddy's age." "Tarty?" "Old?" "You little twerp, I'm young enough to still get carded." "Carded!" "Driver's licenses!" "It's me!" "'Alexander Harris. ' Cute picture." "Hey, I exist." "I'm Willow Rosenberg." "Heh, Willow." "Funny name." "I think it's pretty." "Whadda you got?" "Tara, and look, I'm a student at U. C. Sunnydale." "Me too!" "Hey, maybe we're study buddies." "I don't have a wallet." "Don't worry." "Me neither." "But here, look." "You're Dawn." "Or, Umad." "I'm called Rupert Giles." "Rupert." "Rupert!" "You're not too old to put across my knee, you know sonny." "Anyway, what did I call you?" "'Made with care for Randy' Randy Giles?" "Why not just call me 'Horny Giles' or 'Desperate for a Shag Giles'?" "I knew there was a reason I hated you!" "Randy's a family name, undoubtedly." "Hey, I have a name on my jacket." "Harris." "Harris?" "That's my last name." "Maybe I have a brother and you go out with him." "Or maybe you go out with me." "Well, we did wake up all snuggly-wuggly." "Maybe you're my boyfriend." "Either that, or I got one pissed-off brother out there somewhere." "I'm Anya!" "This key fits this lock." "And the forms next to the cash register say that Rupert and Anya own the shop together." "This is our magic shop?" "Well, that's very progressive of me." "So you don't have a name?" "Of course I do." "I just don't happen to know it." "You want me to name you?" "Oh, that's sweet, but I think I can name myself." "I'll name me Joan." "Ugh!" "What?" "Did you just 'ugh' my name?" "No!" "I just I mean, it's so blah." "Joan?" "I like it." "I feel like a Joan." "Fine, that's your purgative." "Prerogative." "Whatever, Joan." "Whatever, Umad." " Boy, you're a pain" " Boy, you're bossy!" "Do you think we're   sisters?" "You never showed me affection like that!" "I'd wager." "Well, we need to figure out what's going on." "We need to get help." "Looks like Joan fancies herself the boss." "We have a kid here ..." "A teenager." "A teenager." "And we have no idea what's wrong with us." "I think a hospital's our best bet." "Yes, let's head out." "Any suggestions on how we're gonna get there?" "Dad can drive." "He's bound to have some classic midlife-crisis transport." "Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis." "Did you guys see that?" "Vampires!" "Maybe it's Halloween." "It doesn't feel like Halloween." "Even if it is, those guys are definitely not kids, and those are definitely not costumes." "Randy's right." "Looks like we have vampires." "Slayer!" "They're definitely not knocking for candy." "Okay, doors, we need to check to see if there's other doors," "And make sure they're locked and put large objects in front of them." "Come on." "Monsters are real." "Did we know this?" "I don't know, but we n-need our memories back." "We have to get to a hospital." "As proprietor of a magic shop, I propose we fight them." "We can use things here in the shop, you know, magic tricks or whatever." "Send out Spike!" "They seem to want spikes." "Let's give them these." "Well done." "But wait, what are they going to do with them?" "Slayer, come out and play!" "'Slay her' that's just what they said before." "They're gonna use the spikes to ..." "To slay someone?" "A female someone!" "Who do those jerks think they are?" "Bloodsuckers." "They kill by sucking blood." "Take it easy, Joan." "You guys!" "Trap door in the basement, it seems to lead to the sewer." "Let's go!" "Now I'm not sure what I am so bear with me here." "Now I lay me down to sleep, shabat Israel." "You owe us!" "Fine!" "Take your damn spikes!" "Don't be stupid." "Get your hands off me, you son of a ..." "I said you owe us." "Who, me?" "You've got the boss's kittens." "Kittens?" "!" "Hey!" "Stay away from Randy!" "Whoa!" "What did you just do?" "I don't know." "But it was COOL!" "The boss ain't gonna like this!" "I'll be back." "And I won't be alone!" "I think I know why Joan's the boss." "I'm like a superhero or something!" "The boys want to taste blood, boss." "They wanna break down the door." "The boys are barbarians." "There's no need to do that." "The humans will turn on him soon enough." "And if they don't, we'll burn the place to the ground." "Okay." "I've got a plan." "I'm all ears." "They seem to want Randy." "And I seem to be pretty strong." "Wicked strong." "So, you guys go through the sewers to get to the hospital, and Randy and I'll give the monsters a run for their money." "That's your plan?" "Yes." "Right." "I'm not leaving the shop." "I have to protect the cash register, and do some spells." "Oh." "Well, magic might help, yes, it's worth a shot." "All right." "You work on that then." "We need to go." "Ready, Randy?" "Ready, Joan." "Son." "Come here." "Please." "Right." "Good, then." "Randy!" "Hey, I'm a superhero too!" "Joan, where're you going?" "Hey!" "Joan!" "Wait up!" "Almost there, come on." "There we go." "Thanks." "The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah." "The ants go marching one by ..." "This must be nice for us." "Sorry?" "I mean I know there's" "The vampire problem, and our memory loss, and all that, but still to spend this time together alone?" "Must be nice." "Yes, yes, I'm sure that's right." "Which book shall we start with?" "This is the book for us." "Oh, good." "Does it focus on mind control, or memory loss?" "Not exactly, I just my intuition tells me this is the book." "And I figure being a magic shop owner and a natural at the supernatural, I should trust my intuition." "Yes, fine, but as you recall, I too am a magic shop owner." "True, but my intuition says that you're not so much the magic guy and more of a paperwork type." "Okay, here we go." "But you don't even know ..." "Bara bara himble gemination." "Wait up!" "Bloody hell, what are you doing?" "You don't know who you are." "Right, none of us do, and we're being chased by ..." "You're a vampire!" "How can you say?" "I, me, a vampire?" "No." "Check the lumpies." "And the teeth." "I kill your kind." "And I bite yours." "So how come I don't wanna bite you?" "And why am I fighting other vampires?" "I must be a noble vampire." "A good guy." "On a mission of redemption." "I help the hopeless." "I'm a vampire with a soul." "A vampire with a soul?" "Oh my god, how lame is that?" "Perhaps we should try another book." "No!" "This book made the little fluffers, and this book's gonna send them back." "I've got it this time, okay." "'Himble abri, abri voyon'" "Yes, dear." "I'm a hero really." "I mean, to be cast such an ugly lot in life and then to rise above it." "To seek out better, nobler things." "It's inspirational, isn't it?" "And the two of us natural enemies, thrown together to stand against the forces of darkness." "Utter trust." "No thought of me biting you, no thought of you staking me." "Depends on how long you keep on yapping." "Come on." "This way." "Up the ladder." "He's coming!" "Clearly that is not a helpful book, darling." "Come down, and we will go about fixing this in a sensible fashion!" "Sensible!" "You think it's sensible for me to go down into that pit of cotton-top hell" "And let them hippity-hop all over my vulnerable flesh?" "Fine, then just stay up there and keep making bunnies!" "That's a capital plan!" "What capital?" "I never know what you're talking about." "Loo, shag, brolly, what the hell is all that?" "What?" "There's no way that you could remember me saying any of those words." "Oh, bugger off, you brolly." "Note to self:" "learn to duck." "Get a different book!" "Put that book down, do you hear?" "Not that book!" "How you doing, Dawn?" "I'm okay." "It's scary but, weirdly?" "Kind of familiar." "I know what you mean." "How are you?" "A little confused." "I mean, I'm all sweaty and trapped, no memory, hiding in a pipe from a vampire" "And I think I'm kinda gay." "Look what you've done, you lunatic woman!" "Don't blame me, you snobby, snotty, thinks he's so great kind of jerk" "And I feel compelled to take some vengeance on you." "Ow!" "God, no wonder I'm leaving you!" "What?" "!" "Look!" "One-way ticket to London, and out of this engagement!" "Of all the nerve!" "Now look at what you've done!" "That thing is gonna eat my ring." "I smell fear and it smells good." "Fatas venga mata waray!" "Oh that's better." "Oh, thank goodness." "I'm so sorry, dear." "No." "Rupy, I'm sorry." "You were right." "That was the wrong book." "Yes, it was." "But I'm still sorry." "Don't leave me." "Oh, Anya." "Hey!" "Over here, big guy!" "Check out this throbbing jugular!" "Alex!" "Don't mess with Joan the va..." "Buffy!" "Buff ..." "Sorry, I just got back the memory of seeing King Ralph." "We should get back." "Well, this place certainly needs a good tidying." "Oh, yes." "Yes." "Yes." "From dust   to dust." "You're an odd duck, Mister Spike." "Fighting your own kind palling around with a Slayer." "And whoa, that suit!" "Chutzpah must be your middle name." "Hey, look about our little debt problem." "It's okay, I don't need the kittens." "You'll get paid." "I'm no welsher." "Right, sure." "You're good for it, I know that." "I'm just going to yeah." "You all right?" "Of all the things I believed in" "I just wanna get it over with" "Tears warm behind my eyes, but I do not cry" "Counting the days that pass me by." "I've been searching deep down in my soul" "Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old" "Feels like I'm starting all over again" "The last three years were just pretend" "And I said" "Goodbye to you" "Goodbye to everything" "That I knew" "You were the one I loved" "The one thing that I tried to hold on to" "I used to get lost in your eyes" "And it seems that I can't live a day without you." "Closing my eyes, you chase my thoughts away" "To a place where I am blinded by the light" "But it's not right" "Goodbye to you" "Goodbye to everything" "That I knew" "You were the one I loved" "The one thing that I tried to hold on to." "And it hurts to want" "Everything and nothing at the same time" "I want what's yours and I" "Want what's mine." "I want you" "But I'm not giving in this time" "Goodbye to you" "Goodbye to everything that I knew" "You were the one I loved" "The one thing that I tried to hold on to" "Goodbye to you" "Goodbye to everything that I knew" "You were the one I loved." "THE END"