"1x02 How Titus Pullo Brought Down the Republic" "Three more gone this morning." "Outcasts and idiots." "They all get restless." "With the fighting done, they want to be home with money in their pockets, not sitting in this dismal cold and wet." "None of the good men have run." "Nor will they." "Nor will they follow you to Rome." "Not yet." "Time is running out." "We cannot wait here forever." "This is a very precarious position." "What happens in January* when your term runs out" "* Roman magistrates' office begin in January." "That's why this month became the first of the year:" "before the reforme in 133 b.C., the first month of the year was March, cause it was the begining of the war season." "and we're still sitting here ?" "The business of motivating men to fight is a tricky matter, Posca." "I would not expect a slave to understand the subtleties." "I trust an education in these subtleties will begin shortly." "500000 ?" "What's this ?" "I put Mark Antony up for election as people's tribune." "There were a lot of votes needed buying." "Mark Antony for people's tribune ?" "But he is..." "You may speak." "I had understood the tribune to be a sacred office with the power of veto over the Senate." "So it is." "An office of great dignity and seriousness." "Perhaps you're right." "We shall send Strabo along to make sure Antony behaves himself." "How far now ?" "Three hours at pace." "Ah-Hi !" "Here I come, girls." "I'm going to drink all the wine, smoke all the smoke*" "* Of course, Pullo doesn't talk about tabaco, still unknown in Europe, but about eucalyptus, pear or other plants (pipe and rolled leaves)." "and fuck every whore in the city." "Show some dignity." "You're under the standard." "Well, talk to him." "He's not under the standard." "Three hours away from a wife he hasn't seen in eight years." " The man's terrified." " Surely a reunion is a happy event." " Talk of something else." " Terrified." "What if she's lost her teeth ?" "What if she's gotten skinny ?" "What if she's been letting other men between her legs ?" "Silence !" "Long live, you Mark Antony !" "Mark Antony, our protector !" "They love him, eh ?" "No matter." "We are all men of substance." "Let them have the love of the plebs and the proles*." "* Pleb (people) is the opposite of the patriciate (the aristocracy)." "Proles are, among the plebs, the ones who own nothing but their children." "This won't take long, will it ?" "We can hope, dominus. *" "* Dominus = Master" " Vorenus, you may dismiss the men." " Sir." "And then you may dismiss yourself until I send for you." "Have some fun." "But first, take the boy back to Atia." "Get your reward, eh ?" "Boy, tell your lovely mother I will see her later." "Let's get this over with." "You, leave this house this moment." "I will not." "Octavia is my rightful wife." "You defy Caesar ?" "A fig for Caesar !" "By the five Furies, if I were not a genteel woman," "I would have you flayed and hung from a bracket at the door !" " Castor ?" " Domina ?" "*" "*Domina = Mistresse" "Fetch the dogs !" "Insolent wretch !" "I tell you, my honey, you are well rid of that one." "I hate you." "I hate you !" "I hate you !" "Silly girl." "I'm only trying to do my best for her." "Why can't she see that ?" "She is young." " Master Octavian !" " Baby boy !" "My poor rabbit !" "So thin." "Was it very horrible ?" "Of course it was, I can't even imagine." "We shan't even talk about it." "We should just put it totally out of our minds." "You're back safe at home now." "But who are those ?" "You are to be very good to them, mother." "They are particular friends of mine." "Friends ?" "In what particular ?" "These are the men that took me from captivity." "First spear centurion Lucius Vorenus." "And legionary Titus Pullo." "So, we embrace you." "Good fearsome specimens you are." "I wonder it took you so long to subdue those odious Gauls." "There was a great many of them... ma'am." "Great many..." "Very good." "We'll be away then, sir." "But you must be rewarded before you go." " Castor, bring me my purse." " That won't be necessary." "Will it not ?" "I don't want to break any regulations..." "They shall stay and eat, mother." "Of course !" "There shall be bread and meat put out in the kitchen." "I mean, they shall eat with us." "Obliged, sir, but I must go to my wife." "Your wife has waited eight years." "She can wait a little longer." "Caesar has given them honorary horses, and they ride with the standard." "It's perfectly acceptable to eat with them." "Splendid idea." "It's symbolic." "We shall all dine together as equals." " What's that ?" " Oh, it's just your sister." " Is she all right ?" " Women's troubles." "Nothing a good leeching won't cure." "Jupiter Fulgor*, we ask you to guide" "* Jupiter Fulgor = Jupiter who throws lightening and protect this man," "Marcus Antonius, newly elected tribune of plebs, champion of the people." "How many dead altogether ?" "I don't know." "I lost count ages ago." "Lots though." "And you, Lucius ?" "309 fighting men." "I don't keep count on civilians." "You're very exact." "The war temple requires an exact number when you make an offering." "That's a lot of wine and goats." "The priests offer a discount when you pass 100." "Priests !" "Crooks, many of them !" "I just talk direct to whatever god I'm doing business with." "Bugger the priests !" "Too few people can be bothered to do things the proper, all-Roman way." " I commend you, Lucius." " Vorenus is a strict Catonian." "Believe in the divinity of the republic." "If Cato believes the same, then..." "I suppose I am a Catonian." "But Cato represents the rights of the nobility." "Surely a plebian like yourself would like to see some changes made." "It should remain as it was at the founding of the republic*." "* Kings were droven away in 509 b.C, 250 years after the legendary foundation of the city by Romulus." "Why should that change ?" "Because the Roman people are suffering." "Because slaves have taken all the work." "Because nobles have taken all the land, and the streets are full of the homeless and the starving." "Well, I had no idea my son was such a firebrand." "The nobles say that Caesar is a war criminal." "They say that he wishes to march on Rome and make himself king." "That is sacrilege." "No man of honor would follow him." "Well, I'm no man of honor then, 'cause I say that Caesar should ride in here with elephants and squash Pompey and Cato and anybody else that wants it." "Never mind the law." "That's what I say." "You say that because you govern your reason no better than you govern your tongue." "Forgive me, it's my fault for mixing politics and wine." "More tench ?" "A dormouse perhaps ?" "Thank you, I won't." "Don't mind my saying it, but... you two make unlikely friends." "We are not friends." "I am his superior officer." "By virtue of rank, if nothing else." "That is enough from you !" "Please forgive our vulgar ways, madam." "We are not fit for your presence." "Not at all." "I've enjoyed your company immensely." "It's been most refreshing." "And with your permission, we shall leave you." "Do come and visit us again." "Octavian needs reliable friends." "He may depend on you, I trust." "As you say, madam." " Say again ?" " I did not speak." "I go this way." "My home is behind the street of the cloth dyers, if you..." "Go with Fortune, sir." "The cleaner brothels are in the Suburra*," "* Working-class quarter of Rome, where most of lupanars were." "next to the venereal temple." "Niobe." "You're alive." "What child is that ?" "Answer me." "What child is that ?" "He's your grandson." "Speak sense, whore." "Wait, now." "Your grandson..." "The son of your daughter." " My daughter is only..." " She's 13, near 14." " A son by who ?" " Crito, a drover's boy." "His name is Lucius." "Niobe, stop." "I order you to stop !" "Your father's home." "Girls, this is your father." "Daughters, I'm very pleased to find you healthy and good looking." "A benefice you favor your mother, eh ?" "Now you see how ugly your father is." "Come here." "She's not simple, is she ?" "Greet your father properly as you've been taught to do." "Your pay stopped coming a year ago." "The paymaster said you must be dead." "They said they don't make mistakes." "Damned fools !" "I'll have it seen to." "A bit of a surprise to see me then ?" "A bit surprised to be called "whore."" "That was... wrong." "I am sorry for it." " A whore in front of everybody." " I said sorry." " Is it as you like it ?" " Less salt next time." "So, how did you manage for money ?" "My sister Lyde and her husband helped us out." "Well, you won't need their help anymore." "The big phallus is off a Suevi I killed in the Rhinelands..." "A very strong and fierce people." "Nice." "My official spoils I've put into slaves." "They're at the market." "I should clear 10000 denarii." "That's good news." "By grace of Roma, for twelve moons hence, thou art tribune of plebs." "About time." " I need a drink." " Indeed, sir." "Perhaps after the meeting." "Cicero." "My dear Atia, a pleasure." "Forgive us for imposing at such a ludicrous hour." "Not at all, I adore it." "The secrecy, the intrigue..." "It's most thrilling." "Comprehend, woman, this meeting is invisible." "Be assured, Cato, I do not see you." "General Antony, we are..." "Oh god, your beauty is painful." "You are the crucifix of Venus." "Let me die in your arms." "'Sist, Antony." " Good evening to you all." " General Antony." "Tribune Antony, if you please." "You're inside the sacred precincts of Rome, but yet you wear the bloody red cloak of a soldier.*" "In time of peace, Romans wear the toga." "The soldiers cannot be inside the city." "Quae bruta figura !" "* (*What a moron !" ")" "It completely fell from my mind." "I'm most extremely sorry." "Will you forgive me, friend Cato ?" "Atia, please, will you take this and burn it ?" "That's not necessary." "Is it not ?" "Bene.* Then let's stop all this blathering" "*Bene = Good and get down to business." "Blathering, you say ?" "What a congerie of heroes !" "Such vim !" "I feel like Helen of Troy." "Would you adjourn to the courtyard ?" "Speak, young Marcus." "What have you to tell us ?" "I have been delegated by Caesar to negotiate a compromise." "Caesar wishes to avoid bloodshed." "He wishes to be seen as a man of reason and probity." "Therefore, when his present term as governor of Gaul has ended, he is willing to accept command of a single legion province." "Illyria*, by preference." "*Illyria is Western Crotia and Slovenia." "I don't understand." "Command of a province..." "So he will have legal immunity.*" "*A magistrate cannot be judged before the end of his office." "If Caesar is still on duty with a new legion in Illyria, he has one year more to prepare his defense - or march on Rome." "So that none of you rascals can go dragging him through the courts." "We're here to discuss the terms of Caesar's resignation." "He could have avoided prosecution by accepting a few years banishment." "Banishment for what ?" "For fomenting a tyranny, illegal warfare, theft, murder, treason !" "And what shall be your punishment, Pompey, for betraying a friend, for deserting the cause of your people, for allying yourself with these so-called noblemen ?" "What punishment for you ?" "Impudent whelp !" "The man's term of office ends in two weeks." "We say six months." "Two weeks !" "He sits alone in Ravenna with one mutinous skeleton of a legion and he dares to dictate terms to me ?" "!" "Caesar has many more legions than the 13th." "On the far side of the Alps." "Winter does not last forever." "Spring comes, snows melt." " That's a threat !" " I assure you, it is no threat." "Snows always melt." "If he does not get a province ?" "Caesar will take all measures required to protect both his interests and those of the Republic." "I am grieved and surprised." "I had hoped we would have a rational negotiation." "If that is his last word, we shall go." "Then we have no more business." "Caesar is bluffing." "He wishes to appear supremely confident." "Evidently he is desperately weak, weaker than we'd thought." "This is a last ditch attempt to frighten us into making concessions, while he still has the semblance of an army." "He's weak, Cicero." "Dying." "Is that not when all the proverbs tell us to be wary ?" "Does not the dying serpent bite deepest ?" "Let's play." "Where are you from, friend ?" "13th." "Better you keep that quiet." "This is deep Pompeian territory." "So, we're all Romans, eh ?" "Come on, ladies, hear me now." "Furies and river gods for five." "You will be pleased to hear that general Antony was as blithely arrogant and provocative as one could hope for." "And Pompey and Cato were deeply offended by your negotiating position." "Wise men and Graces on four !" "Those Graces don't like you, I think." "They piss on your face." "They piss on my face ?" "Calm, brother." "Man has an ill way with him." "He's lost a lot of money." "He means no offense..." " Do you ?" " None at all." "Twin river gods* over two." "*Twin rivers are Tigris and Euphrates." "Come on, you mumping cunnies !" "Graces... over four." "How do you feel now, soldier ?" "Feel good ?" "Who is this man ?" "Run and get a doctor !" "I don't want people dying in my house !" "Do as I say, woman !" "There will be copious pus..." "First putrid, then wholesome..." "And mayhap fits of the spleen, but that will be all to the good." "A purging of the malignancy will follow." "This is brass." "Come." "When will he wake up ?" "Today, tomorrow, maybe never." "You might try an offering to Spes.*" "*Spes = allegoric goddess of the Hope" "A white rabbit often works." "I'll send my boy tomorrow to check the dressings." "What misery !" "It's only blood." "It'll wash." "Where are you going ?" "I have business." "Business ?" "What business ?" "I understand that you are upset, but I will ask you do not question me in that tone." "Tone." "My father's cock !" "How's that for tone ?" "!" "50, 50." "55." "55, 55." "60." "60, 60..." "Sold !" "40." "40, 40, 45." "45, 45, 45." "50." "50." "50, 50." "55." "This is bona stock, but it's all skin and bone, eh ?" "You want a good price." "Let us feed them up, put some fat on them." "Couple weeks of easy living, and these puppies will sell like duck hearts." "Is that expensive, fodder and storage ?" "No !" "You'll recoup feed and storage double." "Beautiful, neh ?" "A real showman." "I am no judge of the sand, but sure, anyone can see he is rare large and aggressive." "When the Senate meets tomorrow," "Scipio will propose an ultimatum be put to Caesar." "I ask you as a friend to support the proposal and to enjoin your many friends to do the same." "I have not so many friends as all that." "The moderates follow you like sheep." "Your vote is critical." "The ultimatum is ?" "Caesar's term of office is over." "He must immediately disband his men, resign his command, and return for trial..." "Else be considered an enemy of the Senate and people of Rome." "But he cannot accept that." "Not without dishonor." "Once declared hostile, he has nothing to lose..." "He will fight at any cost." "You are declaring war !" "Caesar will not have to accept or refuse the terms, because Mark Antony will immediately use tribune's veto." "But then, what is your purpose ?" "If the Senate votes against him," "Caesar will finally understand that he is alone against all." "Of course, anything but an overwhelming vote encourages Caesar to think he still has friends and hope." "I am no friend to Caesar, nor any tyrant, but I cannot vote for a proposal" "I do not wish to see realized." "It would be highly irreligious." "I have made a vow to Jupiter." "Unless I get the full backing of the Senate tomorrow," "I and all my legions will sail for Spain and leave you gentlemen to your own defenses." "This is he ?" "Crito ?" "He's a good boy from good family." "Good enough to seed a child of the Vorenii who fought at Magnesia and Zama* ?" "*Zama (202 b.C.) and Magnesia (180 b.C.) are important battles won by Romans against Carthage and Seleucid empire." "I don't rightly know, sir." "You don't rightly know ?" "!" "Do you know that this girl is my property ?" "That you should have asked my permission before you coupled with her ?" " I'm sorry, sir." " I am within my rights to kill you here and now." "Papa, please." "Don't you start sniffling." "You should have thought of this before you spread your legs." "They meant you no disrespect." "What they did was only natural." "They're young and they love each other." "That's no excuse." "His mother's family are well-found in Ostia for many generations, and his father is a successful drover." "They have a house in the Southern crossroads." "A house built from cattle dung no doubt." "It's very hygienic, sir." "There's no smell." "There's money in droving, at least." "Good money, sir." "I'm on the Capua run mostly..." "That's 5000 head a week sometimes, sir." "He cannot be but what he is." "When are you a man* ?" "* Boys become men when they wear the virilis toga, when they're 17." " Next month, sir." " Next month." "Very well, you may marry my daughter." "Assure your good people that the dowry will be appropriate." "He really is a good boy." "You should be pleased." "My daughter's virginity has been taken and my first grandson, spawned by an ill-favored prole." "How can I be pleased ?" " He makes her happy." " She's an idiot then." "What a brute you are !" "The Senate will hear Metullus Scipio." "Speak !" "Speak !" "Conscript fathers*," "*Title to talk to the Senators (Patres "fathers" because the Senate was in older days a board of old men, and conscripti because they are "registered" on a list)" "I propose a formal motion." "Unless Gaius Julius Caesar immediately lays down his command, disbands his legions and returns to Rome for trial, this sacred assembly will declare him a public enemy of the Senate and people of Rome !" "After which time it will be the duty and the obligation of every Roman to do him harm or to kill him if they are able !" "A motion is proposed." "Those in favor, make it known." "The motion is carried by clear numbers." "Antony !" "Veto the motion !" "Stand up !" "Veto the motion !" "I demand the floor !" "I demand the floor !" "Give him the floor !" "I veto the motion !" "Tribune vetoes the motion !" "Scipio's motion against Caesar..." "It doesn't stand, does it ?" "Stands." "Entered in the annals." "Despite that tribune raised his veto ?" "Not heard, not fully admitted." "No weight." "The motion stands." "Let me be clear with you." "I do not wish that a motion as important as this should stand on a mere trick of procedure." "Trick, you say ?" "This is a religious matter." "There are no tricks in religion." "Session was not formally ended, correct ?" " Correct." " So, when we reconvene, it will formally be the same session." "Then tribune Antony may use veto on the motion." "That is so." "Juno Inferna !" "*" "*Means "Juno from the Underworld"." "Other name for Proserpina, Pluto's wife, who rules the underworld." "Senile old fool, only say so to begin with ?" "Mark Antony must not be harmed or hindered in any way." " But..." " In any way !" "It is vitally important that he be allowed to veto the motion." "If he does not," "Caesar is declared a traitor." "Then he has no choice but to oppose me openly, which means civil war." "Antony must not be harmed !" "Dominus !" "Good news !" "The Senate will reconvene tomorrow." "Formally, it is the same session, so you may yet exercise your veto on the motion." "Unless Pompey tries to stop me." "True, he may very well try." "Rally the men together." "Vorenus..." "All of them." "Run and hide." "Run and hide." "The 13th are coming and your men are all dead !" "I put extra nutmeg in, as you like it." "Marry me, goddess." "What ?" "A porcine object like you ?" "Besides, I am already wed, thanks be to evil spirits." "You are wrong, friend-wife." "He is a good man, your man." "A good man you say ?" "For years and years, I'd lie awake at night and beg all the gods to send him home." "I'd hear of this battle or that battle and..." "I'd see him, clear as a glass, lying dead and bloody in the mud somewhere." "I was lonely." "I was so lonely." "For eight years I wept." "Every day, the girls asking:" ""When is papa coming home ?" "Is it today ?" "When ?"" "And now he's home, and I wish he was in Gaul." "He's a cold, mean brute." "Not one loving word to me or his daughters, not once since he has been home..." "He has no skilled hand with the women." "But in all these years I fought with him, he never took a woman." ""Pullo", he'd say to me, "Pullo, my old friend," "I have a wife back home, Niobe is her name and she's worth more to me than all the women of Gaul."" "I thank you for your kind words, but I know you lie." "He's no friend of yours." "He told me so." "Why ?" "He has a... an ill-temper, him." "He'd say anything." "Antony needs every man." "If you can walk, we rendezvous at the house of Atia." "This is all I have left." "There will be more when I sell the slaves." "Get the girls indoors and stay indoors until you know it's safe." "It saddens me that you are unhappy, because I have a deep affection for you." "When I return, we will talk." "Well, this is a merry do." "Octavia, my honey, look alive at least." "Poor Antony must think himself dead and swimming in Lethe* water." "* Lethe = river in the underworld." "The souls of the dead people drink its water to forget their past life." "Talk to the poor man, ask him questions." "One would think she'd been raised by Germans." "General Antony, does my mother's screaming irritate you ?" "Excuse me ?" "When you and my mother are in coitus, there is a deal of screaming." "I find it extremely irritating." "I wondered whether you did also." "Or perhaps you like it ?" "A testament to your skills." "So spiteful, and for what ?" "You shame only yourself." "She has you exact." "We show our strength." "We show them who owns the forum, but we do not touch them." "Antony must not be touched !" " Kill them all, I say." " None of that !" "Pompey's strict orders." "Him who starts trouble will be on a cross at nightfall." "So no blood !" "Make a lane there !" "Make a lane there, I said !" "Come on, you bastards !" "Rally to me." "Rally to me." "Rally to me !" "No blood !" "You have what you wanted, Cato." "Caesar has no choice now." "Come the spring, he will cross the Alps with his legions and march on Rome." "Five dead." "Three from flux, two from fighting." "Ten under medics." "Eight absent, believed fled." " Sir." " Fighting strength: 236 head." "Seventh cohort.* * 1 legion = 10 cohorts." "1 cohort = 6 centuries (480 soldiers, except the first cohort who has 800 soldiers)." "So 1 complete legion = 5120 soldiers 12 dead:" "six of flux, six of fighting." "Three on the medics." "Three absent, believed fled." "Fighting strength: 242." "Soldier, how far behind you is Mark Antony ?" "No more than an hour, sir." " Sound assembly !" " Sir !" "By order of the Senate," "Gaius Julius Caesar is declared an enemy of Rome." "All good citizens are bound to do him harm if they are able." "I've got him." "After all these years," "Pompey surprises me." "I had hoped to provoke some kind of aggression, sure, but to try and kill a tribune* ?" "*The tribune of the people is sacrosanct." "If someone (whoever he is, citizen, magistrate, patrician...) tries to kill him, he's cursed and everybody can kill him to spare the city the stain." "In the forum ?" "The man's found some hard black iron in his soul." "I'm sure it was yonder demented little worm Cato who put him up to it." "It's excellent, this." "So, what next ?" "Let's see what the men have to say." "Don't do that !" "You look just right as you are." "Like Leonidas at Thermopylae*." "*Leonidas is a Spartan king, commanding an army during wara againt Persians' king Xerxes." "He, his 300 Spartan soldiers and 700 Theban made heroic last stands in 480 b.C. and their sacrifice helped Athens to prepare the battle of Salamis, which put a term to the war with the full victory of Greek cities." "Attention !" "Any of your people I can mention ?" "Titus Pullo." "Took the head off the first man that came at me." "Soldiers," "Pompey and the Senate have formally declared that Gaius Julius Caesar is an enemy of Rome." "No !" "They have declared that I am a criminal." "They have declared, in effect, that all of you also are criminals !" "No !" "The tribune's veto was not exercised." "Peoples tribune Mark Antony and 50 men of the 13th were assaulted by 1000 head of Pompeian scum." "No !" "A tribune of the plebs assaulted on the steps of the Senate house !" "Can you imagine a more terrible sacrilege ?" "Our beloved Republic is in the hands of madmen." "This is a dark day, and I stand at a fork on a road like a burden surrounding in my arm to the Senate and watch the Republic fall to tyranny and chaos !" "Or, I can go home with my sword in my hand and run those maniacs to the Tarpeian* rock !" "*Murderers and traitors were flung from this cliff near the Capitoline hill until the end of the Republic." "Its name come from Tarpeia, a Vestal, who, for golden bracelets, betrayed Rome by opening the gates to the Sabine army." "The Sabine soldiers crushed her to death with their shields." "Yeah !" "Yeah !" "Legionary Titus Pullo, step forward !" "Titus Pullo !" "When 50 brave men of the 13th fought Pompey's 1000 in the forum and saved the tribune, it was legionary Titus Pullo who drew first blood !" "Here is 500 denarii !" "Very grateful, sir." "Are you with me, Titus Pullo ?" "Will you come with me to Rome ?" "Yes." "Yes, sir !" "Certainly !" "Titus Pullo is with me !" "And you ?" "Are you with me ?" "!" "Yeah !" "Yeah !" "You're awake." "Water ?" "We're moving." "The whole legion, sounds like." "Where to ?" "It's a river." "What river ?" "This is the Rubicon." "Stay calm." "This is rebellion and treason, and I am no traitor !" "It's too late now." "We're across." "We're in Italy." "You're a rebel whether you like it or not." "Caesar" "Caesar, what have you done ?" "He had no choice, had he ?" "Pompey did try to kill Mark Antony after all." "You of all men should not dare make that argument." "How's that ?" "You know who was being attacked." "I don't know what you mean." "It doesn't matter now." "We are all dead men anyway." "We'll be hanging from crosses in the Appian Way before the week's out." "We'll be all right." " Have some more water." " Better to die of thirst." "Don't be foolish." "Drink." "Caesar is in Italy !" "What ?" "It cannot be !" "Caesar is in Italy !" "Have you heard ?" "I heard." "What's going to happen ?" "War is going to happen." "Who's my greedy little piglet ?"