"24.000 FPS" ""let's go, go ..." "Hurry man!"" ""Was that the tyre!" "?" " No, he's shooting at me!" "Hurry up!"" "start the car!" ""Hurry up ... move, move!"" "It's not starting." "Push the car." "Hang on ...there we go!" "What's happening?" "Who's he?" "Who are you?" "I'm just a simple man." "Please save me!" "Then why is he shooting at you?" " l don't know." ""Dude, isthis some mafia nonsense?" "I'll get screwed along with you!"" "See that jeep behind us - please go in that!" "is that him?" "Oh god!" """Dear lord!" "Hey, do you know the Hanuman prayer?""" "Gayatri mantra?" " l don"t." """Dude, sing any hymn you know!""" "Now I lay me down to sleep..." "We"re dead meat!" """lf l die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take...""" "Shut up!" "Shut up!" "Shut up!" "Go away!" "Don"t follow me!" "You"ll get me killed." "Shoo!" " Stop!" "Shoo!" "Get lost!" " Please buddy!" """l"m outta here!" " Please, Sir!""" "Whoa!" "You again?" "Buzz off!" """Please..., Taxi!" "Please..." "Don"t leave me, Taxi.""" """Quick, call the cops!""" """Good morning, Sire.""" "Welcome." "Some tea?" "Here..." """How"s life, Ghanshyam?""" "You?" "Here?" "Oall your wife." "Tell her you"ve been kidnapped." "Two million - cash." "Got it?" "But..." "You borrowed money; you didn"t return it on time." """Oircuit, I"d said ""point the gun"", not ""shoot all over Mumbai!""" "Ohill out bro!" "They"re fake bullets... they just sting!" """Hey, Flo Jo, at this range even a fake bullet can do the job!" "What?""" "Who are you people?" "We"re social workers." ""Loan-default Prevention Specialists"." "You owe him 2 million:" "Pay up." "Go home." """But Manilal, you know I paid your brother in time.""" "My brother swindled half the city and fled to Dubai." "I don"t care what deal you guys had - l want my money." "But it was you who asked me to pay him!" "I don"t care!" "I want my money back." "Hang on..." "You paid back his brother?" "Yes." "Ask him." " What does he care...?" "Quiet!" """Dude, you made a big mistake.""" """Ghanshyam, go home.""" """And you, call your wife." " But... why?""" """Hey, don"t fuse my circuit or...""" "you"ll be riding home in three different bags!" """Tell your woman to send 1 million, because you"ve been kidnapped.""" "Why one million?" "!" "Because you were dishonest." """My father says, ""Don"t be dishonest, and don"t tolerate dishonesty.""" """Now, call your wife!""" "Grab him." " Yes brother." "Quiet!" """Telegram for Murli Prasad Sharma!" " Open it, quick!""" "When?" """The evening train, brother." " Damn!" "We"re screwed!""" """Aalam, call Banwari!" "Move it!""" """The boss"s old man is coming, by the 5 o"clock train...""" "What?" "!" " But he always comes in July...?" "Fool!" "He"s not the monsoon." "He can come whenever." """O"mon, hurry up!" "Move it!" "We don"t have time!""" """You"re still a rookie, child.""" "Sorry..." "Forgive me..." "It was on the floor... I was returning it..." "I"m not a pickpocket." "Bloody thief!" "Pickpocket!" "Let"s beat him!" "See how they"re beating the poor thing." "What are you doing?" "Make way!" "What are you doing?" "Leave him!" "Why are you beating him?" """He stole from me, why are all of you getting excited?""" "I will beat this man." "Oome with me!" """You don"t know these ruffians, sir." " Let us at him, we"ll teach him!""" """Well, should I...?" " No.""" "Do you know who they are?" "These are the people of our country." "Look at their faces." "Someone"s fought with his wife;" "another"s son won"t listen to him." """One"s jealous of his neighbour"s success,""" "and one has had it with his landlord"s demands." "From the government"s corruption to the cricket team"s defeat... they"re upset about everything." """But their anger is silent, bottled up." "They"ll pour it out on you.""" "Should I hand you over to them?" "They"ll definitely crack your skull!" "No!" "Forgive me sir!" "I made a mistake!" "Oan"t see them brother..." " Keep looking." """Alright everyone, he"s learned his lesson.""" "Thank you for your help." """Son, it"s simpler to live honestly." "Understand?""" "Namaste." " Bless you." "Namaste." " Good..." "God bless..." "What the hell are you doing here?" " You know him?" "He...no." "Porter!" "You"re hurt." "Oome... our son is a doctor." "He"s here!" "Let"s go!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Hey... you!" "Watch it!" "The ladder!" "Hey..." "I"m hangin" here!" "Put it back!" "Help!" "Wow!" "A new signboard?" """Yes." "Was put up right after we got the telegram...." "This way, Ma"am.""" """Go ahead, read it.""" """Read it quickly, I want to meet my son." "Fine!" "I"ll read it.""" ""Hari Prasad Sharma Oharitable Hospital"" "That"s his name." "Happy?" "Read your name?" "Let"s go in." "Even my son ran away from the village." """But, unlike you, he worked hard and became a doctor." "Let"s go.""" "It"s what we feared - Lymphosarcoma of the intestines." """Doc, will I live?""" """Yes, because only Dr. Murli Prasad Sharma knows the cure for this disease.""" "Really?" """Father, you"re here!""" """God bless you, son.""" "How are you Ma?" " Fine." "How are you?" "Me?" "Great!" """Great?" "He works day and night, ignoring his own health.""" "That"s my son!" "Selflessness is the sure way to heaven." """Thanks, father.""" """Oh, and look at this child - he"s bleeding.""" "The doctor will fix you up." "You...?" "A doctor?" "!" """Dr. Lohanna, it"s a deep cut - an emergency - fix it!""" "But..." "Don"t worry." "Dr. Lohanna will deal with him." "You must be tired." "Go rest." "Seeing you makes us less weary." "Shhh..." "Quiet!" "What happened?" " They"re punching..." "Stitching... him up. lt"s painful." "I"ve brought it!" "Here!" """1 million." "Let my husband go, please!""" """Shut up!" "Remember, Brother"s a doctor!""" """Sorry madam, if money could save lives then the rich would never die.""" """Oircuit, help the lady." " Huh!" "?" "..." "Yes, doctor.""" "Madam..." "But I..." " Please come with me." "Don"t worry." "Everything will be fine" "Her husband was so obese the liposuction took a week!" "is this all of it?" " Yes" "Ohill sis!" "Go sit in the car." "He"ll be right out." "Soon...?" " Don"t you worry!" "Goddamn rodent!" "Beat it!" "You carry on son." """Hey, didn"t we meet the last time too?""" "Are you ok?" " No it"s... I"m ..." "I"m..." """Dr. Monty, take my parents inside, quick.""" """Nurse, get me the chloroform.""" "What?" "You over-acting piece of crap..." """Look at him, what a natural!""" "He"s been acting for three years and father"s never recognised him." """Get up, jerk!" "You"re cured." "Now, get out!""" "What the hell is going on?" "It"s a long story!" "Scram!" """Brother, if it hurts you so much...""" "...why don"t you just tell your father the truth?" """Tell him, in this city a don gets more respect than any damn doc.""" "He"ll die if he gets to know..." """lts just seven days of drama, Oircuit." "Let it be.""" """Ma, remember when I saw a ghost near the cemetery?""" "And it was Ohandu who was sleepwalking." "And father had raised his cane..." """Fool!" "Why did you go near the cemetery?""" "I was so scared." "Scared?" "You were shaking!" "And you hugged me..." "And I felt nothing could scare me" "You used to call it something...?" " The Magic Hug!" "The Magic Hug!" "Get up." " What...?" "Do as I say." "Oome here." """Now tell me, what"s bothering you?""" """Ma, if I wasn"t a doctor...""" "What are you two up to?" """Nothing father." "Just nostalgia, about the village...""" "So come back." "You are so famous in the village today." """The naughtiest kid who became a big doctor in the city!""" """He wasn"t the naughtiest." " Ah, right.""" """lt was I who stole fruits, set fire to people"s trousers... right?""" ""Morning sir!" " "Morning..." "What"s going on?" """Oh, nothing." "They"re loony bins." "How"s the Doc?""" "He"s fine." "How much for a coconut?" "Would I ever accept money from you?" """Would you like one with water, or a creamy one?""" "Neither...if it"s free." "Please don"t do this!" " Ok ..." "I"m off!" """Stop, sir!" "I was kidding." "Please...""" "A coconut please." "Fifteen bucks for a creamy one and ten for water!" """Excuse me, do I know you?""" """l don"t know about that, but I certainly know you, Dr. Asthana.""" "Mr. Sharma!" " Oorrect!" "How are you Mr. Sharma?" " You know each other?" "Of course." "When we finally got a hospital... he was the first doctor to come to the village." """He stayed for two years!" " Yes, but you, here?""" "My son Munna has a hospital here." "Munna"s hospital?" " Yes." "I don"t understand." " You don"t need to." "Which coconut would you like?" " Hold on." "Munna"s a doctor?" """Remember, I had told you my son would become a doctor someday?""" "You did sir... now should I cut a cream coconut?" "Hang on." """Surprising..." "I live near by, and I don"t know of this hospital.""" "Forget about it!" "What"s that got to do with my coconuts?" "You..." "Damn you and your coconuts." "Stop it I say." "Lets go to my house." " Sure." """So, you say your son"s hospital is close by?""" "But I know all the doctors around..." " Bananas?" """This standing around, laughing loudly... what is that?""" "Laughter therapy." """lf you"re tense, or angry, you laugh loudly...""" "it lowers the blood pressure." "But how do you laugh when you"re tense?" " Practice!" """Look at me." "The angrier I get, the harder I laugh""" "Please sit." "Please get another cup." " Right away." "So where did Munna get his M.B.B.S. degree from?" "I don"t know." "He was in high school when he ran away from home." "It was my fault - l was too strict." "I wanted him to be a doctor... but he kept flunking." " l remember." "I was so scared that he would become a criminal..." """but fifteen years later he called and said,""" "Father I"ve become a doctor." "I can"t express the joy I felt." "Tea." """Mr. Sharma, good things happen to good people.""" "And how"s your daughter Ohinki?" " Good." "What does she do now?" " She"s a doctor." "is she married?" " l"m still looking for a groom " """she insists on getting married only to a doctor, someone she knows.""" "She"s right." """Well, there is a doctor Ohinki"s known as a child.""" """Oo-incidentally, I have his photo right here.""" "What do you say?" "Marriage!" "Not for me!" "It"ll be a big problem." "Fine." "Lets go Parvati." " Where?" "To our village!" "No one there negates their parents" wishes so mercilessly." "What is all this?" "Mom..." " He"s right." "My poor little heart had just one last wish to play with my grandkids." "Looks like I"ll die without that joy" """You"re making a mountain out of a molehill." "Oircuit, explain to them!""" """Sir, you see...""" "Brother is so busy 24/7... the wife wouldn"t understand the pressures of running the hospital..." """Unless, of course, she was a doctor herself.""" "That"s true." "Only a doctor can understand a doctor"s pressures." "Exactly." "Father..." "Why are you smiling like that?" "Mom?" "You too?" "We"ve found a lady doctor for you." "And you have an appointment with her tomorrow." "What doctor?" "!" "Ohinki." "Ohinki!" "What kind of name is that?" "Hang on..." "That Ohinki?" "!" "Brother how is Ohinki to look at?" """Like, really pretty?""" """Well, when we were kids, she was a fatso with two oiled pigtails,""" "...and a perennial running nose." "We played together a lot." """l"d be the doctor, and she"d be the wife.""" """l"d go to the clinic, she"d stay home and cook.""" """Well then, marriage sounds like a good idea.""" """Use your head, Oircuit!""" "In two days she"ll see right through this doctor drama!" """Just say, ""Dude, I"m not a doctor." "So bite me!""" "You talk like a doofus sometimes." "Why should I ruin her life?" """But Brother, something has to be done." " You"re right...""" "Something must be done." """Ohinki!" "Munna"s phone call, for you.""" "Munna?" """Go on, talk to him.""" """Dad, do you mind?" " No, I don"t mind.""" "Talk nicely with him." " OK dad." """l"ll speak nicely, I"ll marry him nicely...""" """we"ll have nice little children, and they"ll call you grandpa.""" """Now, some privacy please?""" """Hello, Ohinki?""" """Good morning, doctor." "You"re an early riser.""" "No. I haven"t slept all night." " Why?" "Was there an emergency?" "Damn straight!" "I"m up shit creek and sinking fast." "Why are you laughing?" " You"re talking funny." "It"s how I speak." """Fine, let"s talk your talk then..." "Wassup?" "!" "Gimme the dope on your life.""" """The buzz is you"re a doc now, dude...""" """l"m not a doctor." " Like, I know.""" "Say what?" " l"ve known you for ages." """You were a little ruffian, and you"re still the same, bro...""" """l"m not a ruffian, babe!" "I"m a social worker.""" """l provide financial help, get it?""" "Munna!" "Do you talk like this to your patients as well?" """Patients?" "!" "I"m serious, Ohinki, I"m not a doctor.""" "I don"t have time to explain." """When I come over, you reject me - say I"m ugly - anything.""" """And please, make sure my father doesn"t find out - if he does, he"ll die.""" """Gotta go." "Reject me, OK?""" "Your mother has bought this for you." "You"ll look regal in it." """Hurry, your mother"s ready and waiting.""" """Lakshmi, get the sugar separately from the tea.""" "What happened?" "Someone owes you money?" " Money?" "Wanna kidnap someone?" " What?" "!" "Wanna have someone roughed up?" " What nonsense!" "Then why is this photo here?" "This is Ohinki"s prospective bridegroom." "She"s marrying that gangster - Munna!" "?" "!" "What happened?" """Ohinki, go to the hospital.""" "But... isn"t Munna coming?" " l forgot to tell you." "It"s postponed till next week." " But dad..." """Hurry up, fast!" "I have some work here.""" """Good morning, sir." " Shut up, man!" "I look like a dork!""" "Now listen - call me every 5 minutes with an "emergency"." """lf l"m not out in 20, get me out.""" """Ohill, Brother." "Ohinki"s on it, she"ll reject you.""" """Hello, sir.""" """Let"s go, son.""" "See?" "Laughter therapy." """Yes, he must be nervous.""" """Munna, where did you get your M.B.B.S degree?""" "Doctors" degree..." "Err..." "Dongri Medical Oollege." "What is your specialisation?" """Hands?" "Feet?" "Bones?" "Or, just...the throat?""" """ls everything OK?" "No stress, no mess?""" """Right, put him on glucose, and call me if there"s an emergency, OK?""" "Right." "Your parents are very proud of your achievements." "Do you feel proud too?" " No. I"m just a humble man." "You"re not proud?" """Then are you ashamed, doctor?""" """Talk to me." "Oome on, answer me.""" "When you see pride and happiness on their faces..." """do you feel ashamed, "Brother" Munna?""" "No answer..." "Looks like there is a problem." """Let"s go, father." "I"m not interested in Ohinki.""" "You are not interested in her?" "!" "Who are you." "What are you?" "She"s a doctor." "Do you know a doctors status!" """Father, let"s go!""" """Sir, please be forthright." "What are you implying?""" """Sure, Sir.""" "Your son is a mobster." "He kidnaps people for money." """lf you knew this, then you"re a bigger fraud than him;""" """and if you didn"t know, then you"re the biggest fool on Earth!""" "Enough!" "That"s it." "Munna... is this true?" """You are a doctor, yes?""" """Sir, I beg your forgiveness." "I spoke too soon.""" "Doctor!" "The patient in no. 4 has fainted." "Hurry!" "At least wear your turban." " How can I?" "Munna has stripped us of our dignity." " But he"s our son." "Forgive him." """Enough, Parvati!" "It takes a lifetime to earn respect...""" "and your son...." "Let"s go." "He has never stepped out without his turban." "Why did you do this Munna?" """l was afraid, Ma.""" """After years, when I spoke to him...""" """l thought he"d say ""How are you?""" """instead, he asked, What do you do in Mumbai?""" """l hope you aren"t a no-good ruffian or crook.""" """l was scared, Ma.""" """Without thinking I said, I"m a doctor.""" """Stop him, Ma.""" "He won"t stop." "Ma... give me a "Magic Hug"..." """Parvati, let"s leave!""" "What did I tell Ohinki?" "I don"t want to marry you." """Just let"s not upset my father."" Right?""" "Oorrect." "You want to do something about it..." " No." """She"s a childhood buddy, and a doctor too.""" """You know, only doctors are respected?""" """We don"t deserve respect, only doctors do.""" "Bloody...." "Hey!" "Don"t touch the signboard." "My father"s name is on it." "Hands off!" "Oalm down." "Bastards!" "Don"t you dare!" "My old man cried." """He"d never cried, and I made him.""" """Brother, we all cried.""" "You know why?" "Because I"m not a doctor." "I"ve upset everyone." """Oircuit, I"m gonna be a doc too.""" """Brother, lets talk about it tomorrow.""" "I knew you"d say that... that I"m sloshed... I"ll forget by tomorrow..." """Brother, forget it." "What"s the point?" " The point?""" "I"ll become a doctor and marry Ohinki." "And that Dr. Asthana... you don"t know what he said." """l was there, and I was silent.""" "I"ll show him!" "I"ll be a doctor!" """Oircuit, find out, which is the best medical college in Mumbai.""" "Out of the way!" "I"ll ask this guy." """Hey, "Safari Suit"" " What?""" """Whom does one see for admission?" " Fill the form, over there.""" "Who"s the patient?" " No one." "Then who"s to be admitted?" " Brother." "What"s wrong with him?" " Nothing." "Then why admit him?" " He wants to be a doctor." "Who?" " Brother!" "He"s talking about me!" """Yeah, right." "And I want to become the health minister.""" "Bloody jerk-off!" """Enough of your crap." "Now, whom do we meet?""" "You want to become doctor... meet the dean" "What"s a "dean"?" """Errr...the headmaster, like, a college principal.""" "He"s in charge of admissions." " Where is he?" """ln the Operation theatre, upstairs.""" "Who"s the dean here?" " How did you get in?" "Are you the dean?" " Rustom get them out." """Look, I"ll help you." "Let"s step outside first.""" "You want admission?" "What were your H.S.O. scores?" "Say what?" " High school..." "How much did you score?" " How much do you need for admission?" "At least ninety percent!" " That"s what I got." "Right." "We"ll have a certificate by tonight - no tension." """OK, then you must sit for a pre-medical entrance exam.""" """lf you pass, you"re in.""" """But, who wants admission?""" "is this exam necessary?" " Of course!" "It is compulsory." "You took it?" " Obviously!" "And I topped!" "Very good." "Excellent." """Hey, what"s your name?" " Dr. Rustom Pavri!""" "Where do you live?" " Dadar Parsi Oolony!" "Don"t you have to get back to the operation?" "I"ve to prepare for my exam now." "Please go!" """Brother, my mum used to say, eat curd and sugar before an exam...""" "you"ll get good marks." " This is wrong!" """Dump the tension, dude." "Dress him quickly, Rambo.""" """Hey pops, the black one." " No, I want the queen!""" """Hey Rusty, your dad"s nuts about the queen.""" "This is wrong!" """Dump the tension, dude." "Your pop is with us.""" "Go and take the exam." """Go confidently, like Brother Munna." " What if I"m caught out?""" """You"re asking for it, stooge." " Oh my!""" """Brother, he"s a duffer." " l"m telling you, we"ll be caught.""" """Doc, get a move on. I don"t like being late for an exam.""" "You saw his certificate - ninety eight percent in high school." "All you have to do is the entrance exam." "So quit your moaning." "Here"s your id card." "Put him in a taxi!" """Remember:" "You pass, or we kick arse.""" """Your turn, Pops.""" "Play carom; drink juice - that"s the good life!" """Pops, why are you after the queen?""" "Because she is mine!" """Done, sir." " That was fast!""" "Papa." "Brother!" "Brother!" """Brother, the results are out!" "You topped!""" "Have some sweets to celebrate." " Please have some..." """Brother, what"s wrong?""" """Nanavati Hospital, I"m on my way!""" """Leelavati Hospital, I"m off today!""" """JJ Hospital, hold your horses, man!""" """What"s that?" "Breach Oandy Hospital?" ",""" """hold on, hold on ..." "I"m a busy man!""" "M is for the Master of Masters" "B is for Bohemian Doctor" "B is for Brilliant Actor" "S is for the Slickest Oharacter I make the twisted straight I make the simple great" """l make you laugh if you"re down Or turn your smile into a frown""" """My style, my smile""" """Might make your heart crack, crack, crack!""" """Ooh!" "What"s your name, dude?""" """Ooh!" "What"s your name, dude?""" "My name...?" "Haven"t you heard yet!" "?" """Brother Munna, M.B.B.S. !""" "My degree"s A1" "Tops!" "Say what?" """My bride"s gonna be hot, hot, hot""" "Love will be all around" "Our hearts will beat and pound" "We will be the world"s envy" """But we won"t care, because, you see""" """This dream, our dream,""" """won"t break, break, break!""" """Oh!" "What"s your name, dude?""" """Oh!" "What"s your name, dude?""" "My name?" "You haven"t heard yet!" "?" """Brother Munna, M.B.B.S. !""" """Hey, move this stuff, man!" "Move it, make it quick, man!""" """Ten or twenty bypasses a day - no tension!""" """Too easy, bro!""" """l"ll forget eat and drink - no tension!""" "In dollars will be my pay" "The wallet will sing everyday I"ll dance and make the others too" "They"ll do the disco in a pink tutu" """We will find our Eden, and hey""" "A new song it"ll be everyday" """To cool bars, in new cars,""" "We will make our merry way" """The girls Oh with their lovely curls""" """Will be welcome For a free heart check, check, check!""" """Hey!" "What"s your name, dude?""" """Hey!" "What"s your name, dude?""" "My name?" "You haven"t heard yet?" "!" "Brother Munna MBBS!" """Brother, eat your meals on time." " And write to us.""" "is this a bride"s send-off?" "!" " But... we"ll miss you." """Handle these loonies, Oircuit." " Oarry on, Brother.""" "Move it "Drama Oompany"..." "March!" """Hey, what"s wrong with him?" " Attempted suicide - he ate poison.""" "Then why is he lying here - take him inside!" "His mom has still to fill the form." "Please hurry!" "Doc..." "He"s dying." "Do something." "Sorry." "Take him to Oasualty." "I"m off duty." ""Off duty"?" "He"s dying in front of you - what the hell is "off duty"!" """For an "attempted suicide" case, a police form must be filled first.""" "What if I "attempted murder" you " """will the hospital save you or fill a form first, huh?" "!""" "Oareful." "Over here." "Please wait here." "is he your boy?" " Yes." "Dump the tension." "They"ll get all the junk out of him in no time." """Who are you, dear boy?""" "Murli Prasad Sharma." "First year." "Entrance exam topper." """l gotta run to class." "If the doc bugs you, call me.""" "Keep working on him Doc!" "What?" "Where is the first year classroom?" " Why?" "What "why"?" "Why are you looking for the classroom?" "Because I"m late." " For what?" "The class." "Today is my first day." " But what will you do in the classroom?" "I"m a student." "Student?" "Entrance exam topper...." "Where"s the class." "Where"s the class." " You"re a student?" "I"ll tell you what... what"s your name?" "Dr. Suman." """Dump the tension, I"ll find the classroom myself.""" """Where"s the first-year class?" " Straight, then left...""" "Good Morning sir!" "What"s up?" "I like to tell you..." "The country"s best doctors have studied in this very hall." "They sat on these very benches." "Just like you are sitting." """Oircuit, you had to select this college, didn"t you!""" "You should be proud that you are to be a part of the 150-year-old institution." """He"s right here, yapping about something.""" "Which one of you wants to be a good doctor?" "Do you think you"ll be a good doctor?" """Why, what"s special about you?""" "I believe I can feel the patients suffering." """l want to treat them as friends, not just as patients.""" "In my 25-year career I haven"t befriended a single patient." """l have not felt their pain, just cured it.""" "See this hand..." "Rock steady." """lt"s done thousands of operations, but it never shook.""" """But if I were to operate on my daughter, it will shake for sure.""" "Why?" "Because I love my daughter." """Friendship, empathy, attachment- these are weaknesses for a doctor.""" "For the next five years..." """...you"ll be taught that a patient is just a sick body, nothing else.""" "If someone is dying outside the Oasualty Ward is it necessary to fill a form?" "Your classes start tomorrow at 8:00 AM." "Thank you very much." "I don"t get it!" "How did he get so far?" """Dad, it"s OK!" "Why do you get so excited?""" "I am not excited!" "Do you know who he is?" "A thug!" "The don of our area!" "Hang on..." """he hasn"t seen you here, has he?" " Yes, he did.""" "Did he recognise you?" "Of course not." "He"s never seen me before." "He should never know that you"re my daughter." "Understand?" "Nobody should know that Suman is my daughter!" """Brother, why do you want to live in the hostel?""" """Excuse me bro, where is no. 12?" " Right here.""" "What the... !" "This room ends before it begins." "Do you know why God sent me to this particular college?" "God certainly didn"t tell me." """God said, ""Go, settle the score with the man who made your father cry.""" """Right said, Brother.""" """You"ve discussed it with God, then it"s settled.""" """Fellas, move the stuff in.""" """Brother, I say we move this wall and take over the next room -""" "we"ll get more space here." "Keep the TV on the table." """Brother, lets break this wall too - we"ll move the neighbour and...""" """build you a nice, big bathroom, jacuzzi..." "Here.""" "Keep the bags down." """Yo, buzzy-bee, move your bag." "The air conditioner goes there....""" """Refrigerator, here.""" """Brother, watch how I jazz up this room.""" "Excuse me." "Will you stay here as well?" """Yes, I"ll sleep in the fridge." "Shut up!""" """Dump the tension, Oircuit.""" """Yo, buzzy-bee, come here.""" "What"s your name?" " Nagarajan Swami" """Look Swami, relax!" "Grab a cold drink, watch TV, and enjoy.""" "What is mine is yours..." "except for my underwear!" """Strip, then I"ll tell you." " Look, ragging is not allowed!""" "Of course it"s allowed." "Who said it isn"t?" "Walk this way..." "Shake it baby!" """Doctors, introduce yourselves!""" """l"m Dr. P.P. Ashok." " Hey, black undy, come on!""" "Dr. Mahesh Kriplani" """No, no, please!" "My pants!""" "Hey!" "is this ragging?" "I"m Dr. Anil Davda" "This is fun." """Hey, I wanna do this too.""" "I"m Dr. Murli Prasad Sharma." "What else?" " That"s enough." "Ragging"s over." "Hey "dispensary"!" "Out the crap." """Brother said to rag him, means you rag him.""" """Hey Swami, you rag"em." "I wanna watch.""" """Dump the tension, dude..." "I"m here.""" "Have some chickpeas - they"re good for your bones." "Lots of calcium." "Let me study. I came second in the entrance exams." "How do you think I got the first place...?" "By eating chickpeas." "Have some." """l asked a question yesterday, you haven"t answered yet.""" "O"mon dude!" "How can a dying man be expected to fill a form!" """And if he dies while filling it, who"s responsible?""" "Say what!" "Get out!" " Why "get out"?" """l topped, and I paid the fees - l ain"t going nowhere!""" "If this man doesn"t leave at once... then there will be no more lectures on Anatomy this year." "Munna!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Fine." "Fine!" "I"ll leave." "Why should anyone else lose out." """Hey Swami...pay attention, and teach me later.""" "Gimme the chickpeas!" """Dump the tension, dude." "Have some chickpeas.""" """No?" "Oool, more for me.""" """Oircuit, man, I really twisted the dean"s knickers today.""" "He got pissed-off and asked me to get out!" """l said, ""Why get out?" "I"ve paid my fees."" He was about to cry!""" "Why are you making a racket?" " Why shouldn"t l?" "It"s my father-in-law"s college;" "I"ll get it as dowry." "Why aren"t you in class?" " My dear father-in-law..." """J dot Asthana, threw me out.""" """He"s pissed-off, because I topped.""" "You must have done something!" """l just asked a simple question, he told me to beat it.""" """Both father and daughter are the same- you speak politely, and...""" "What did she do?" "I made a small request: that she keep quiet." "But she"s like her father." "She busted me in front of my parents." """Hang on, what"s your name?""" "Dr. Suman...dump the tension." "It"s a long story- some other time." "Gotta go now." """Like I was saying, the baldy was all flustered.""" "This is the beginning." "You just wait and watch what I do." """First, starting from the neck, make an incision down the centre.""" "Ew!" "It stinks!" "Out of the way!" "I can"t see." "Why don"t you get a body of your own." "Who dat?" " Your pop" "Brother!" "How are you?" " l need a body." """Whose body?" " Like, for dissection.""" """Brother, where do I find such a body?""" "How would I know?" "Just find one." """Dump the tension, Brother." "You concentrate on your studies.""" "I"ll organize the body." "Brother!" "I found a body." "Will an imported one do?" " Yeah." "Just get it quick." """10 minutes, Brother.""" """Butkya, get a sack." " Right away.""" """Yo, chilli chicken, wanna click an ambulance. lt"s a 5-star model.""" """Poor, hungry people - They are inside the ambulance.""" """Bloody hakka noodle, come in from abroad...""" """and only see naked, hungry people." "You don"t see Taj Mahal,""" """Will this bag do, brother?""" "Will I fold him and then fit him in this?" "How tall are you?" """Get a 6-feet bag You, come with me.""" "You don"t want to see Taj Mahal?" "I"ll show you hungry Indian." """Very nice." "Get in, son of a...""" """Brother, check it out, we"ve got the body.""" "Absolutely fresh." "Where did you find him?" "He was standing right outside the house." "It"s a ghost!" " You?" "What was I to do?" """There are 50 students to a body, you can"t see diddly-squat!""" "All I"ve seen in four days is the fingers." """l wanna be a complete doctor, not a finger specialist...""" "...who doesn"t know what"s up with the knees." """And he said, ""get your own body"".""" """He wants a body to himself, so give it to him.""" "He wishes to learn." "What"s wrong with that?" """Now, please show me... heart, kidneys, lungs, intestines.""" "It"s not a dagger." "Hold it like a pen." "Take your time." """Admit him, and let him know that I filled in his form.""" "He"s conscious." """Brother, what happened to you?""" "Nothing. I didn"t eat last night... woke up early for the dean"s lecture... and I forgot to have breakfast...." "And there was water on the marble floor..." """Nobody cleans up around here..." "It"s very dangerous, Ms. Suman.""" "It happens." "Rest." """How are you now?" " l"m fine, ma"am." "How"s our hero?""" "I don"t know." "This was his second attempt at suicide." "And he won"t talk to anyone." """Dump the tension, ma"am." "Where is he?""" """Your mom is crying in front of you, aren"t you ashamed?""" "Don"t scold him." " Why not!" """You wanna die?" "Then do it right, finish it.""" "Sleeping pills are a half measure." "Take a knife to your throat and slit it." """Till then, don"t pity yourself." " l don"t pity myself!""" """Murli, lie down." " Hang on, Ms. Suman.""" "Kids today don"t have an ounce of courage." """And you"ve spoilt him, ma"am, hanging on every teardrop of his.""" "He has to toughen up." " Please be quiet." "You don"t know what I"ve been through!" " What?" "Failed your exams?" "Got dumped by a girl?" "Strapped for cash?" """A girl!" "Got dumped, right?""" """Hey, Oircuit, who"d marry such a cry baby?""" "Was out to kill himself over a six-month romance." "Your mom"s loved you for years;" "can"t you stay alive for her?" "What do you know about love?" " True." """What does a goon like me know about love,""" "Loaf around to kill time" """Eat and drink, five to nine!" "I"m fine!""" "So why fall in love?" "Why?" """But then one day, Sophia walked my way""" """My head was in a strange condition, my heart revved without ignition""" """Dude, what a face!" "..." "and whatchamacallit ...""" "yeah - tresses!" "What tresses!" "She moved like the wind..." """traffic stopped if her eyes just blinked""" """l thought I"d found my home, said""" """Dude, I found my love, my church in Rome!""" """All day I"d stand underneath her window""" """No fights, no brawls""" """No squabbles with Aziz, no scraps with Usman...""" "I was numb!" "She was the one... you didn"t whistle..." """at the one, our eyes met...""" "you didn"t wink at" """My buddies looked like they"d been bombed""" """Said, Dude, please don"t tell us you"ve reformed!""" """Then one day Kallan saw her and said""" """Woah!" "Look!" "She"s a perfect eleven!""" "I lost my head... and said..." """Oome here punk, I"ll show you heaven""" """He got washed, rinsed and dry cleaned that day""" """Still runs away like I"m a bad omen, his doomsday!""" "Then what happened to Sophia?" """Then one day, she looked at me and smiled""" """l thought Dude, she smiled, my case is filed""" "Thought she like me too" """But she met someone else and said ""l do"" """ """She was married, it was undisputed""" """While I just stood there, stricken and rooted""" "That night I drank till 2 am" """Damn, I had but one dream, one prayer""" """But I swear I didn"t shed a single tear""" "Why cry?" "It was a stupid high!" """Next day it was back to life back to reality""" """Loaf around to kill time;" "eating, smoking, drinking wine!""" """Olashed with Aziz again, nearly killed him too""" """They said forget her, but ""no can do""" """My dreams were shattered, my heart was too""" """Yes it hurt.. but that"s life, dude!""" "Then ... then what happened?" """What could happen?" "Next day...""" "Pamela walked my way" """My head was in a strange condition, my heart revved without ignition""" """Dude, what a face!""" """And oh, what eyes!""" """Hey Munna, did the traffic in your heart just sigh?" "!""" "He has smiled after so many days." "I think he"ll be fine." "It was nothing." "Don"t mention it." """Murli, why do you bug everyone?""" """lt seems you"re here to irritate people, and not to study.""" """Not everyone, just Asthana.""" "He and his daughter...." "Never mind." "Ohinki is innocent." "She didn"t even know." "You know Ohinki?" " Of course!" "She"s a good friend." "It wasn"t her fault." "The maid told her father." "What could she do." "No wonder!" "I kept thinking how a childhood buddy could tell on me." """Ms. Suman, tell me, like..." "How does she look?""" "Why?" "As a kid she was a big fatso!" "Now...?" "Absolutely not!" "I"ve seen her old picture." "She wasn"t that fat." " You"re kidding me!" "She once climbed a tree." "The branch broke!" """How is she now?" "I mean, how does she look?""" "Not too bad." "As good as you?" "Better than me." " Woah!" """Ms. Suman, you have to make her meet me.""" "Dr.Asthana will kill her." " That son of a..." """We"ll meet secretly." "You"re her friend, please help.""" "Why?" "Say what?" " Why should I?" "Fine." "But only if you promise not to bug any of the professors." "Deal!" "I"ll think about it." "Now observe closely." "Such interesting cases are rare." "The subject has been in this condition for 12 years." """He can"t speak, hear, understand, or feel anything.""" "His senses are all dead." "He"s a vegetable." "Now see..." """if you observe closely, when I shine a light into the eyes...""" """the pupils contract, but the subject doesn"t blink.""" """Yo, boss!" "Hello!" "Turn off the torch!""" "Why?" " That must cause him discomfort." "Out of the question!" "The subject can"t feel anything." "Say what - "subject"?" "Doesn"t he have a name?" "His name is Anand Banerjee." """And he"s many years your senior, talk respectfully about him.""" "Why are you getting emotional?" "I told you he can"t hear a thing." """Relax!" "Sit down." " Munna, sit down!""" """ln your medical careers, you"ll face this question many times.""" """Tell me, is it right to keep a vegetable alive by using medicines...""" "especially in a country where there is a shortage of hospitals;" "the subject has been occupying a bed for the last 12 years." "Screw you!" "You"re concerned about the bed!" "How do you know he won"t wake up?" "I"m a doctor." " But not God." "Did you get inside his head?" "I should thwack you in the head." "Leave the class!" "Say what you want." "Let"s go Mr. Anand." "What are you doing?" "Where are you taking him?" """Brother Anand, don"t mind him.""" "These docs read a couple of books and think they"re God." """lf anyone gives you tension, let me know.""" "12 years you"ve been here- that"s a lot of time." """You must be bored!" "Hey Doc, gimme the headphones.""" """Brother Anand, listen; it"s your heart!""" "What a solid beat." "Listen." "You are hundred percent alive." """lf anyone disagrees make them hear your heart"s voice, OK?""" """Yo, Oircuit...""" """All right, right here.""" """Hey, quit imitating a bedspread and bring the bed out.""" """And sir, he just took the subject out of class!""" "And you did nothing?" " Should I have wrestled with him?" """Sir, he nearly strangled me." "I could have died.""" """And that ugly street language in the classroom - yo dude, like...""" """l just can"t get this shit into my head, man" " What is this?""" "is this some bloody country bar?" """Do you know by what name he calls us? ""Doofus""!""" """Yo, doofus, out of the way!" "Move it!""" """Sir, we all want you to rusticate him.""" "We can"t do that." " Why?" "On what pretext do we throw him out?" "Because he asks questions?" "Or because he doesn"t speak too politely?" "He topped the pre-medical entrance exams." "We need a very strong reason to rusticate him." """Yo, mop-boy, scoot." "Hey, "safari-suit", make way!""" "Enjoying your stroll?" "Get to work!" "There"s only one way out as I see it." """Rustom, you will set this terms question paper.""" "You"ll set the toughest paper in the history of this institution." """He"ll fail, and the next day we"ll hand him his leaving certificate.""" """Munna"s brought a bed, dude!" " What?""" """Brought a bed, dude?" " He"s brought a bed, sir!""" """Brother Anand, dump the tension." "Any problems, just tell Brother about it.""" """Brother, your father-in-law!""" "May I ask what"s going on here?" " No!" "OK...." "OK." "Ask..." "What the hell are you up to now?" " Doc Doofus here said that brother Anand"s bed could be better utilized for another patient." """So, we"ve vacated it." " We have no need for this bed.""" """lt"s not for you to sleep on, doofus.""" """Brother Anand, this"s your personal bed.""" "Sleep easy." "Nobody will bother you." """Bye, brother Anand." "Take it easy.""" "Oareful!" "He hasn"t shaved in 12 years." """Brother Anand, let"s get you slicked and then out in the sun...""" """get some, Vitamin D!""" "Tonda"s going around saying that Munna"s out - call me for work." "I can"t study and work." "There"s so much stuff in the body to know about?" """To begin with, there are 206 types of bones!""" """Never thought of that while breaking them, did we?""" "Why aren"t you in class?" "Because everyone keeps throwing me out." " All the doctors are angry with you." "You"ve got to pay a little more attention to your studies ..." "Hello...." "I"m talking to you..." "Brother Anand you look like a rock star!" """The nurses are gonna fight over you now." "Let"s go for a spin, brother.""" "That face behind a beard..." "Heresy!" """Murli, stop!""" """Look if you don"t do well, they"re going to throw out.""" """Ok look, if you study, and pass the exam, I"ll arrange a meeting...""" "between you and Ohinki." " No problemo. I"ll pass!" "Pops..." "How are you?" " Oome in." "Oarom?" """Play carom, drink juice ..." "That"s the good life, pops!""" "It"s a really difficult paper man!" "Alimentary canal..." "Alimentary canal..." "Got that?" "OK." "The answer to question number four is "spinal cord atrophy induces..." "What...?" "Spinal cord atrophy..." "Hey keep it down!" "Will you please..." "Silence!" "I can"t concentrate man..." "Please." """Spinal, s-p-i-n-a-l, cord, c-o-r-d...""" "Done." "Was really tough!" " Best of luck." "This boy is a genius." "If such guys become doctors..." """...then patients will only hear Dude, lie down, you"re screwed!""" """Rustom, I want to know how he topped.""" """How would I know sir?" " Yeah, how would you know?""" """Sir, you had called Murli Prasad Sharma." " Send him in.""" """So, Mr. Sharma, you"ve topped again.""" """Dude, your professors sure know their job.""" "May I ask what you wish to prove here?" """Ask away, dude!" " Who do you think you are?""" "Do you think I don"t know that you"ve cheated?" """l don"t know how, but I will find out, Mister.""" "You think I"ve cheated?" "Let me declare that I have." "And will do it again." "Do what you can!" "Shut up!" "No one has ever spoken to me like this!" "There"s always a first time dude!" """You, you, you, you,....""" "Do you know I can throw you out of this college?" "Have you forgotten how I threw your father out?" "How can I forget that?" "My father cried in front of me and left." "Now it"s your turn." "You"re going to get screwed in your own college." """Not only will I become a doctor, I"ll also marry your daughter.""" "That"s my challenge." "Do your worst." "I will screw him!" "What am I saying?" "!" "?" "!" "?" "!" """Ms. Suman, I topped again!" " Murli, I"m busy""" "Dump the tension. I"ll wait." "Get these tests done." " Thank you doctor." """Murli, you"re..." " But I topped Ms. Suman!""" "I know." "Oongratulations." "Please ask Ohinki to meet me now." " She won"t meet you." """Hey, you"re breaking your promise." " She"s scared, Munna.""" "She would meet you but Dr. Asthana is livid right now." """Dude, he"s like the incredible Sulk.""" "Why doesn"t someone just give him a Magic Hug?" "Hug?" " An honest hug is magical." "My mom calls it the Magic Hug." "It"s an anti-tension drug." """Hey, can"t you see its wet there?""" "I sweep this place 25 times a day." "Am I a machine?" """l keep cleaning, people keep walking.""" "I"ll die sweeping." """Hey, watch it...""" "Sorry!" " What sorry?" "You"ll merely walk off but I"ll get yelled at." "Like I"ve been yelled at...for 30 years." "What"s your name?" "You want to complain now?" "The name"s Maqsood." "I don"t want to complain." "I want to thank you." "You"re an awesome worker Brother Maqsood." "Everyone thanks doctors for making them well." "No one thanks you for picking up their rubbish." "I just want to say thanks." "Thank you." "You"re gonna make me cry." "Enough." "Sorry!" " Forget it. I"ll take care of it." "Tell Ohinki she should give her dad a Magic Hug." """l swear, he"ll melt like butter.""" "I"ve decided - l"m calling Dubai!" "Dubai!" "Why?" "Brother Abbas can make Munna disappear into thin air." "Dad what are you saying?" "Who is this Abbas guy?" "He came from Dubai to get his hernia operated from me." """You know what he said to me?" "He said, Brother Asthana, I owe you a hernia...""" """...if you ever need help just think of me.""" "These are men of honour." "No dad!" "You"re not cut out for this stuff." "Yeah!" "I know..." """Hello!" " Hello Ohinki, Munna here.""" "Did Dr. Suman speak to you?" "I had sent a message through your friend Dr. Suman." "She"s my buddy too." "What message?" " To give your dad a Magic Hug!" "is the doofus feeling better?" "Doofus!" "..." "He called me "doofus"!" "What"s going on Munna?" " l topped again." """lt"s turned into a habit." " So, what do you want?""" "You told Dr. Suman that if I do well you"d meet me..." "Right?" """No, I can"t meet you.""" """Hey Ohinki, it"s wrong to break a promise.""" """Ok, fine." "Tomorrow." "Olub Kino." "Ten "o"clock." "OK?""" "My own daughter meets him." "I"ll kill him." "I promise you won"t hear Munna"s name after this." "Trust me dad." """Brother, how will you recognize her?""" """l will, I"ve known her as a child!""" "Munna!" "Brother..." "Found her!" " Where?" "Up there. ln mid-air!" """Munna, my baby, so sweet.""" "Wow!" "You"re lookin" so good." """Don"t you recognise me..." "Your childhood buddy, Ohinki?""" """lt"s she!" "Hello Ma"am, I"m Oircuit.""" """Oircuit!" "As in, like, "fused circuit"?""" """Oh my god!" " Hey Ohinki, how are you doing?""" "Andy." "Hi...." """Hey, that"s our number." "We got to hit the floor.""" "That bastard!" "Should I nail that chimpanzee?" """No, dude.""" """Oome on, let"s go." " What, me too?""" """Who was that guy?" " Andy, my boyfriend.""" "A boyfriend... that"s freaky!" " Why?" "Don"t you have a girlfriend?" "Oh so sweet darling." "Life is very short." "So we have to have fun." "Are you free on Saturday?" """Andy is going to New York, so let"s meet up.""" "Meaning?" " Meaning..." """You and me, alone!""" """Ohinki, you"ve changed a lot, babe!""" "Oh god!" "You had to see his face." "It was too funny:" """Ohinki, you"ve changed a lot, babe!""" """So you rocked, huh?" " Don"t know about "rocked"...""" "but he was shocked for sure!" "Dad!" " l"m sorry. I had to hear it." """What did he say?" "Boyfriend..." " ""A boyfriend... that"s freaky!""" "I was so worried." "But you did a fantastic job." "Well done" "Are you OK now Dad?" " OK?" "I am very happy." """But, ""A Boyfriend... that"s freaky!""" """OK, enough." "Poor guy!" " lt"s bad to make a mockery of someone.""" """But..." " ""A Boyfriend... that"s freaky!""" "She was so sweet as a kid..." "It"s just ruined my memories." "Time changes everything Murli." " But how much." "She was morphing into the guys when she danced." "And her dress?" "It was so indecent." "Now look at you." "You"re a doctor." "So decent." "One respects you." "She is the way she is." "You should just forget her." """And while you"re at it, forget about Dr. Asthana as well.""" "This war is futile." " You"re so sensible." """You know, I always thought she"d be like you.""" "Even if she weren"t as pretty as you I"d dump the tension." """But your peaceful style, your friendly smile...""" """But she...?" " But Murli, I"m not Ohinki.""" "Why?" "Why aren"t you Ohinki?" "I always thought she"d be like you and now I can"t get your image off my mind." """Your smile, your eyes...""" "What?" "What?" "What did you say?" "What did you hear?" """Murli, didn"t you just say something?" " No!""" "I thought I heard something." """l swear she heard me, brother Anand." "I didn"t even move my lips...""" "and she knew what I was thinking." """ls that possible, brother?""" """You know, this happens in love.""" "Oircuit also says if feelings are strong... you can talk long distance clearly without a phone." """So give me a signal brother, what do you think?""" "Do you think I"m falling for her?" "Oorrect. I think so too." """Hey!" "Brother, Hey Doctor!""" "Oome quick." "Brother Anand spoke to me." "He heard me and blinked at me as well." "Just now. I swear by my mother." """Do it again, brother, come on.""" """Mr. Sharma, he"s never even twitched in twelve years.""" "Shut up!" """Brother, I know you"re listening to me.""" "Please try." "Give me a sign." "Show them they"re wrong." """OK everyone, let"s get back to work." "You wait for your signal.""" """Murli, what now?""" "Ms. Suman do you think I"d joke about this?" "I swear he blinked." """Murli, even though your voice reaches his ears, it doesn"t reach his brain.""" "So what if it doesn"t reach his brain." "It goes straight to the heart." """Whether you believe it or not,""" "I say if there is a strong connection between two people... then it"s the heart that listens." "You"re too much." """Ms. Suman, can you hear me?""" """Mike testing - 1 ,2,3...""" "Ms. Suman I think I"ve fallen in love with you." "Hello." " Good Morning Dad." """Oh, I met Dr. Desai"s Son yesterday.""" "He is also a doctor." "Neurosurgeon." "Very good-looking fellow." "I think you should meet him once." "Brother Munna!" " Munna?" "Yes." "He"s got flowers for you." "You get up. I"ll handle this." "You go." "OK" """Hey Dean." "Open the door!" " Yeah, yeah... calm down...""" "Yes?" " For you." "Me?" """Look, I want to apologize to you... genuinely.""" """Oome in." " No, Ohinki"s inside, right?""" "Let"s sit in the garden for two minutes." "Why not?" "Sure." """Look dude, I"ve created a lot of tension for you.""" "Today I just want to say sorry." "No Munna." "The fault was mine." "So what if you aren"t a doctor." "You"re a gem!" "I know you want to meet Ohinki." """Hang on ..." "Ohinki!" " No, don"t!" "I"ve met her.""" "Really?" "You rascal!" "So?" "To tell you the truth she"s too wild." """l know she"s a motherless child, but you ought to control her a bit.""" "You are right." """But once you two are married she"ll realise her responsibilities, right?""" "Sorry boss." "I can"t run a bulldozer through my life just because I want to bulldoze yours." """To marry, its important to be in love, right?""" "That"s true." """Dude, I have found true love with someone.""" "How sweet." "I hope it doesn"t break poor Ohinki"s heart." "Why don"t you tell her?" "Ohinki!" """Tell her later, please!""" "OK." "Poor Ohinki!" "But I"m really happy for you Munna." """Go son, find your path, the path of love." "Be happy!""" """l misunderstood you." "You"re quite cool, dude!""" "Oool!" "May I ask who this "fortunate" girl is?" """Ask, dude!" " You are blushing." "How sweet.""" "You"re shy!" "Who is she?" """Dude, you can"t tell a soul.""" "It"s Dr. Suman. I"m gonna marry her." "So happy!" " l knew you"d be happy." """You"re cool, man. I gotta run now.""" """Ms. Suman, what happened?""" "Exactly what did you tell Dad?" " Whose dad?" """Ohinki"s dad, Dr. Asthana.""" "Damn!" "He just can"t keep his trap shut." "Like you." "Why did you say those things to him?" "Oorrect. instead of Ohinki"s old man I should"ve spoken to your old man  I mean... your father." " No!" "You should"ve spoken to me first." "Oorrect. lf l love you..." """l should first speak to you, right?""" "It...just happened..." "So?" " So what?" """So, how do you feel about me?""" """l don"t feel anything." "I mean, I like you.""" "I know you can make any woman really happy!" "You are the woman I want to make happy." """Ms. Suman, when you smile...""" "life is beautiful." "I want to see you smiling forever." "So?" " So what?" "Please marry me." " Murli !" "I just want a straight answer." """lf you don"t want to marry me, I will leave.""" "Hello Doctor." " Hello Zaheer." "Murli...please leave." "Ms. Suman are you certain you don"t feel a thing for me?" "I"m with a patient now." " Take your time." "I"m not leaving without an answer." """Dude, is there a problem if I wait here?" "It"s important.""" "Did you get all the tests done?" " Yes doctor." "Just give me two minutes." "Sit." " What"s up?" "I"m a doctor too." "I had a stomachache for sometime." "A couple of days back I vomited and there was some blood." "Thought I"d get some tests done." " Olear case of food poisoning!" "Did you eat out?" " l eat out everyday." "Why?" "Where"s your family?" " ln Nagpur." """Married?" "You don"t need a doc, you need a wife,""" """who"ll feed you, keep your clothes clean.""" """Hey, this shirt"s had it!""" """Zaheer, can anyone from your family come here?""" "Why doctor?" "What does the report say?" "You should"ve come a couple of months back." """Look, Zaheer... sit.""" "Zaheer you"ll need to be brave." "I suspect you have stomach cancer." "Get admitted right now." "But I have an important meeting at two." """OK, so come tomorrow morning.""" "Why did you say I should"ve come a few months back?" "is it too late?" " No ..." "No..." "We"ll start the treatment tomorrow." " Then why did you say that?" "How much time do I have?" "Please tell me the truth." """l have many responsibilities." " Look Zaheer, finish your meeting.""" "And finish all your work by evening." "All my work?" "In half a day?" "Get settled?" "Buy a flat?" "In half a day?" """My mother"s pilgrimage, sister"s wedding?""" "In half a day?" """Zaheer, God willing, you"ll be fine.""" "God"s will is fairly obvious - l"ve been given half a day to live." "Zaheer..." " Why me?" "Tell me doctor - l never drank or smoked." "I"ve never been with a woman..." """...then, why me?""" """All my friends go to strip bars, smoke, drink themselves silly...""" "Even I felt like doing it." "But I always buried my desires... to fulfil my responsibilities first." "Thought I"d have long life ... there"ll be time for this ..." "How much time does he have?" " Very little." "You should have hugged him." " Murli!" """He needed it bad, dude." " lt doesn"t work like this!""" """Dump the tension, brother." "You"ll be fine.""" "Let go..." "Let go of me!" "Dump the tension!" "It"ll be fine!" " Stop harassing me!" "Stop harassing me!" "Didn"t l say I"m coming tomorrow?" "Let me be!" "Oircuit..." "Where do people go when they die?" "Depends on who it was." "Did you ever feel you were gonna die?" """Do you know that freak, Shakeel?" " Yeah?""" """Once he ran with a sword after me, I thought I"m gonna go that day!""" """No, stupid.""" "Have you ever been in a situation where you knew you were gonna die... and were helpless." "Waited for it." """Saw the calendar, the clock, like a time bomb.""" """Your life, your dreams suddenly come face to face with THE END!""" "Brother my mom used to say we become stars when we die." "Look - my dad." "Bugger used to beat me a lot." "That"s Uncle - he was a cool guy!" "Hey where"s mom?" "Bombay"s getting too damn polluted man!" """Oircuit, get my stuff back from the hostel.""" """Why?" " Enough of this drama, man!""" """l wanna get back to work." " Why are you saying this, brother?""" """You saw Ohinki, right?""" "And Dr. Suman is also not interested." "So why become a doctor?" "I know you too well." "Something"s the matter." """For the first time in fifteen years, someone slapped me today.""" """Son of a... give me his name, Brother." "I"ll cut him up right here.""" "Zaheer." """Hey, aunty!" " What?""" "Who"s Zaheer?" " He..." "Hey!" "Who are you?" " Quiet!" "Get inside!" "Move!" "Are you Zaheer?" " Yes..." "You slapped Brother?" " Who are you?" """You"ve got guts, dude!""" "Brother"s sent these shirts for you." """And hey, mark my words - when you have less time...""" "you gotta live twice as much!" "Brother told me you haven"t even touched a babe!" "Hang on..." """Set the mood, and get ready, to enjoy a lifetime in one moment""" """What"s gone is in the past, greet what"s to come with a smile""" """Set the mood, there"s but one cure""" """Live with your every pore, life can be short, so make it grand!""" """Look, see through my eyes""" """Learn, to live completely""" """Seize, for life is too short""" """Know this, your life will pass by""" "So learn to live before you die!" """Look, see through my eyes""" "Grab happiness"s arm" "And wrench the pain away" "Hey don"t grieve over sadness" "Stop dying and asking why" "And learn to live before you die" """Look, see through my eyes""" """Learn, to live completely""" """Seize, for life is too short""" """Know this, your life will pass by""" "So learn to live before you die!" """Fool, its not about whether you live long""" "It"s about whether you live it up" """Sing, to the beat of your heart""" "Life is an icy cold song they say lt"s lilting but it"s melting away" """Whether you laugh, or whether you cry""" "So learn to live before you die!" "Baldy"s here!" "And he"s all worked-up." """Brother Zaheer, he"ll finish the rest of the dance for you.""" "Let"s go..." "Rina..." "Oome on!" "Matron!" "Who brought this girl here?" "Matron?" "You!" "..." "Who brought her here?" """Oh, I see.""" "You"re on that goon"s side." "Shame on you!" "I couldn"t do anything earlier." "I had to tolerate everything." "And now that I have a chance you"re on his side." "No one will be spared." """You, you, you, watch out - See what I do.""" "Now you watch it." """Excuse them, sir." "Please.""" "It was done for me." "Oonsider it my last wish." "He"s amazing - a cabaret!" "You should"ve seen the dean"s face!" "And what about Zaheer"s face?" "He was smiling!" "You"re telling me?" "Who was the first one he hugged?" "Who?" " Me!" "I think I"ve got a cold." """Hey buddy, give me a Magic Hug will you!""" "Magic Hug!" "And me?" " Shut up Swami" "Poor baby... here"s yours!" """Here, take the suitcase." "Keep it there." " The fridge goes last.""" "And pick up the bottles." "Leaving?" "Our chat was incomplete." """Look, you don"t have any feelings for me.""" "So what"s the point - Facts aren"t going to change." "Will you do one last thing?" " What?" "I feel strange saying this..." "Strange is my middle name..." "Go on." "Who was the girl who came to the ward last night?" "Sorry." "Oan"t tell you anything." "She came here because of us and that baldy insulted her too." "Zaheer wants to meet her." "He"s very happy." "He"s even worn your yellow shirt; he"s looking really cute." "Thanks." "This hospital needs you." "If my request makes a difference then please don"t go yet." """lt"s all in, Brother." " Put it back in the hostel.""" "Again?" "Didn"t Brother just say that ..." "Didn"t he!" "Take it out!" "Mr. Murli." "The dean... come quick!" """Don"t protect him, Matron, this is wrong.""" "I know who was responsible for last night." """You have ten minutes to either write a complaint against Murli Prasad,...""" "or write your resignation letters." """Dude, I thought we understood each other now.""" "What"s the problem?" "You are the problem Mr. Sharma." """We need discipline in the college, not cabaret.""" """Why are you still weeping over discipline, dude?""" "Zaheer is dying. I just wanted to make him smile a bit." """Let these guys go, dude." "End it!""" """Exactly!" "End it!" "And now that you"ve accepted it,...""" """congratulations, here"s your rustication letter.""" "I want you out by tomorrow." "Your luck"s run out buddy." "I was about to split... when someone held my hand and asked me to stay." "Do your worst." "Now I"m here to stay!" "If you don"t leave then the police will escort you out." """Police?" "They couldn"t keep me in, how will they pull me out?""" """You will go, Mr. Sharma.""" """See, if the cops kick me out the front door...""" "I"ll return through the back door." "Dump the tension dude." "Just watch the show now!" "It"s an emergency!" """Someone fill a form, quick.""" "I"m not leaving!" "Murli?" " Ms. Suman!" "What happened?" """Oh I skipped dinner last night, and even breakfast this morning,...""" "because the Dean"s lecture is really early... and the marble floors are so damn slippery ..." "You"re mad!" " l know!" "Oompletely mad!" " l know that too." "May I ask you why this happened?" " Please ask." """Murli!" " You asked me to stay, so I did.""" "Now no one can throw me out." "But only till your recovery." """How long before he recovers, Rustom?" " Sir he"s sustained two fractures...""" "and nineteen stitches - it"s bound to take some time." "Get on it Rustom." "I want him out of here fast." "Yes sir." " You understand?" "What happened Rustom...?" " Oh my god!" "I won again brother Anand." "You"re not using your head." """Now...here goes my cross,""" "where do I put your zero?" "Here... no?" "Here?" "Here neither?" "Here?" """Munna, look!""" """l know." "But if I tell others, he never does it again.""" """He just amuses himself." "Smart cookie, aren"t you?""" """See, no blink!""" """Hey, are you free tonight?" " Yes, why?""" """l have two tickets to this film,""" "and a friend wants to go with you!" " Who?" "Look ..." "Look through my eyes..." "Wear the blue shirt - it suits you!" "Move... please move!" "Oarefully!" "Behave yourself ..." """Behave yourself, Rustom." " Sir, please do something.""" "We are..." "People at this age lose the wish to live." "You have to accept it Rustom." " No sir." "I know if he eats something he"ll be fine." "He used to drink juice but he"s stopped that too." "Oh God!" "Give me a sugar test and start the glucose right now." """Hey, feed from the mouth." " Oh shut up!""" """Munna, it"s the only way out." " Bullshit!""" """Oircuit, quickly...""" "Hey Oircuit!" " Brother!" "Oheck out my break!" " Go on..." "Outstanding Brother!" " Now watch this!" "How could you miss such an easy one!" " Why don"t you try then?" "Watch this... an artful edge-strike..." """Fool, you"ve taken my counter!" " The powder"s crap, Brother!""" """OK, the Queen"s mine!" " Ok!""" """That queen is one elusive babe!" " She"s the toughie, Brother!""" "Brother Zaheer!" "You"re looking quite pleased." "She"s taken!" """Where have you been?" "The show gets over at twelve, right?""" """Brother, did you see my nuke-a-duke shot!""" """How"s Rina, brother Zaheer?""" "Her name is Nandini." """Wow, she tells the whole world it"s Rina!""" """Your turn, Brother!" " Which one should I whack?""" """The queen, obviously!""" "Will this go?" "Good shot!" """Brother, I"m a champ!""" "He"s coming!" " Just watch this shot!" """Shit!" "Missed again!" "Brother, this black one here!""" "Shit!" """Right on, Pops!""" """Hey Pops, play carom, drink Juice - that"s the good life!""" "Some juice for you?" """You got the queen, drink up!""" "The cover"s gonna be tough!" "Papa!" " Saw that?" """Very nice shot, Papa!""" "It"s made me hungry son ..." """Nurse, get the food." "Please hurry up!""" "I love you papa." """Thank you, Brother Munna.""" """Why thank me, dude?" " You can do anything.""" "This is a miracle." "We had given up!" """Oome on, son, it"s your break!""" "But this time the queen"s mine!" "Why does my heart sing?" "Why does the breeze swing?" "Oould the wind know?" "Oould my feelings show?" "Why do my bangles jingle?" "Why do my ankle bells tinkle?" "Why is their music above?" "is it the melody of our love?" "What does the wind ask my embrace?" "What does my embrace hold?" "It holds your dreams lt holds the sound of your name" """lt holds the beat of my heart Which only sings your name""" "The beat of my heart fades away" """As the wind, wearing bells, skips away!""" """Now slowly move your wrist, stretch your fingers...""" "...any pain?" " Nope!" "Very good." " Ah!" "Mr. Sharma." "Everything ok?" "How do you feel?" " Like a million bucks!" "Very good." "Your stuff is packed." "You have ten minutes." "Good-bye." "Your rustication letter." "I"m not going anywhere!" "I knew it." "Inspector Rawal." "That"s your man." "Throw him out." "Let"s go!" """Meenal, the cops are taking Munna away!" " What!""" """Brother Maqsood, the cops are taking Munna away!""" """Swami, the police have arrested Munna!""" """Pankaj, the cops are taking Munna way!""" "They"re taking him away!" """You cannot take him away, sir!""" "Who are you?" "I"ve been working for you for thirty years and you don"t even know my name." "Ask Munna - he was the only man who thanked me..." "Hugged me!" "Great." "So now he can stand outside..." """and hug whomever he wishes, but not inside the college.""" """No, he will not leave the college ...""" "Or else we will go on a strike!" "Then try to run your hospital!" "Matron!" "Open the door!" "Oome on!" "Move it." "I say move!" "Get out of my way." "Move it. I say." "Out of my way!" """Sir, please let him stay...please!""" """Swami, do you know why you always come second ...""" """because he cheats and comes first!" " This is not fair, Sir.""" "Munna would never cheat!" " Ask Rustom." "Munna admitted to us all that he cheats!" "Rustom tell them." " When?" "..." "I don"t remember sir." """OK, all right.""" "You don"t believe me?" "Fine. I will prove it to you." """Put up a notice on the board,""" "tomorrow I will personally test Munna in the assembly hall." "And if he answers even one question he can stay!" """But then you will quiz him only on stuff he doesn"t know, Sir!""" "Keep your mouth shut Swami!" "Let me finish!" "Select a panel of three professors." """lf they think he"s worthy of becoming a doctor, then he can stay.""" "Diabetes mellitus is a chronic clinical syndrome characterized by... hyperglycaemia due to the lack of insulin." """The symptoms are polyhydra unusual thirst, polyurea,""" "frequent urination and unusual weight loss." """Bravo!" "Well done, Munna!" " Like my English?""" "Easy!" "You can be heard outside!" "Dr. Patel - your question!" """Mr. Murli Prasad, please tell us the treatment for pulmonary tuberculosis.""" "OK!" "Oerebral malaria collectively is..." """No, no, no!" "The second question is tuberculosis.""" "Third is Malaria." """Hey, don"t break the order, dude.""" "I"ve just about crammed the answers!" "But Dr. Asthana will decide the order." "That bald..." "OK." "The answer is..." "There are two stages of treatment:" """intensive therapy for 2 months, which includes four drugs...""" """anacin, penicillin..." " Rifampcin.""" """Hey, don"t break my rhythm, man!" "Now I"ll have to start again.""" "There are two forms of treatment..." """Munna, Dr. Suman is looking for you.""" "It"s Zaheer!" "Zaheer?" """He"s sinking, Munna, and he"s been asking for you.""" "What are you saying?" " Oan you do something?" """What can I do?" " Anything... please, quick...""" """Dump the tension, brother Zaheer!""" "Munna!" """Save me, Munna. I don"t want to die.""" """Nothing will happen to you, I"m here with you.""" """Hey doc, do something!""" "No." "Only you can save me." """You can save anyone, Munna.""" """l"ve seen it." "You"re God, Munna!""" """Don"t say that, brother." "I"m not God..." "I"m just a...""" """Just one ..." "Give me one night, Munna.""" "I want to see my mother." "She is coming tomorrow morning." "Save me buddy." """You will meet her, brother.""" """So will I." "Tell her, I"m your friend...""" "Brother Zaheer!" "Brother!" "Diabetes mellitus is a chronic clinical syndrome... characterized by hyperglycaemia." """The symptoms are polyhydra, unusual thirst...""" """polyurea, frequent urination and unusual weight loss.""" "Silence please!" "Thank you." "Next question please." """Mr. Sharma, describe the treatment for pulmonary tuberculosis.""" "Should I repeat the question?" "If he doesn"t know the answer..." " But he does." "I mean..." "I"m sure he"s read about it." "Murli how will you treat pulmonary tuberculosis?" """Oome on, Munna!""" "Speak up!" """l don"t want to die, Munna!""" "There are two stages of treatment:" "Only you can save me Munna!" "Intensive therapy for 2 months with the use of four drugs..." "Very good!" "Go on..." "Rifampacin..." "What the hell am I saying!" "How can I treat anyone?" """lf l knew how, I would have saved Zaheer.""" "I don"t know anything." "Excuse me." """But your answer is correct..." " Sit down, Rustom!""" """Forget it, Rustom." "How can I cure anyone...""" """with hugs, smiles?""" "The drama"s over." """l"m just a no-good goon, who cheated his way in here!""" """Last night, Zaheer died thinking I"m a doctor...""" "a god." "He thought I"d help him meet his mother." """l couldn"t do anything, Rustom." "But why didn"t you doctors save him?""" "Oouldn"t you even give him a few more hours... till he met his mother?" "I just have one request - his mother arrives at 11 ... please don"t bury her in forms." "She has just lost her young son." "Just help her." "I made a big mistake." "Sorry brother Zaheer!" "I hope that"s the end of that saga." "Now can we please get back to work!" """Oongratulations, Dad.""" "We"ll never speak of Munna again." "You"ve won!" "Oongratulations!" """Once again there will be discipline, order, and silence in the hospital.""" """No one will ever joke, no one will hug anyone...""" "and no patient will be heard laughing from now on!" """Oongratulations, Dad.""" "Munna was mad to think we would let him cure anyone by playing carom... or allow him to give anyone a Magic Hug." "We had to stop him!" "A criminal like him..." "He is dangerous." """Look what he"s done, dad...""" """The terrible consequence of friendship, empathy and attachment...""" "Your heart knows it"s a miracle!" """But you won, dad.""" "No more miracles from now on." """Oongratulations, Dad!""" "Oongratulations!" "Should I kick?" " But what did I do?" """Not you, freak!" "This..." " Yeah, kick it ..." "Kick....""" "Four runs!" "Hey Oircuit!" " Yeah!" "I"ve decided - l"m going back to the village!" """l knew it!" "Look, I have two tickets.""" "Why two?" """Won"t you come with me, Brother?""" """Hey, what will you do in the village, man?""" "You don"t even know how to plough a field." """Brother if I do that, then what will the cows do?""" "Hey Oircuit!" " Yeah!" """l"m missing mother a lot, dude!""" """l"m missing her so much that I can see her, dude!""" """Brother, this is too intense;" "I can see her too!""" """ls she coming here?" " We"re drunk, brother!""" "is this the time to come home?" "Mother... where have you been?" "Don"t ever leave me now!" """Brother, are you missing your father too?""" """l can see him, dude!" " What?""" "There!" "Where are you going?" " Spanking time!" "You shamelessly lied for ten years..." """and today, when I"m proud of you, you"re ashamed?""" "I can"t believe how much everyone loves you." """But I couldn"t become a doctor, father!""" """Dummy, doctors only save lives, you taught people how to live.""" "You"ve always hugged your mother... can I get a Magic Hug too?" "Father!" """Son, Ohinki is waiting for you on the terrace!""" "Ohinki?" " Yes." "She is the one who called us." " But father... lt"s an order!" "Hello..." "How are you Ohinki?" " OK!" "Did you have some work with me?" "No one wants to marry me." "Will you marry me?" """Look, I"m in love with someone else!""" "Who?" """Your friend, Dr. Suman.""" "OK." "So marry her then!" """Ms. Suman?" "!" " Nope, Ohinki!""" "Ohinki...?" " Suman!" "Take your pick." "I get it: now I"m the doofus!" "I think you need a Magic Hug!" """Then Munna married Suman, a.k.a. Ohinki!""" """A year later, Oircuit got married.""" "That"s his son ..." "Nickname - "Short Oircuit"!" """The dean retired and now manages Munna"s ""hospital"".""" """Patients get regular doses of medicines, carom matches and hugs!""" """Asthana greets new patients, with Ohill dude, the form comes later!""" "Rustom is the new dean." "Still unmarried." "But his dad is still dating the queen." "Munna couldn"t become a doctor..." "But he"s still called MBBS " ""Married with Bouncing Babies and Spouse"" "And that"s me..." "Why are you crying?" """Tomorrow, I go home, to Kolkata.""" """l"m going to miss these people, especially him.""" "Dude!" "Let"s go in!" "Oome on!"