"1' m real sorry about Dorothy, Walt." "She was a real peach." "Thanks for coming, AI." "Father, Son, Holy Spirit." "Father." "Spirit." "U h." "Holy Spirit." "WOMAN:" "It's okay, I can move down." "S pectacl es, tests cl es, w al I et, a nd w atc h." "( C H I L D R E N LAU G H 1" "Loo k at t he w ay t he ol d m a n glared at Ashley." "Can't even tone it down for Mom's f uneral." "What do you expect?" "Dad's still living in the ' 50s." "He expects his granddaughter to dress a little more modestly." "Well, your kid's wearing a Lions jersey." "1' m sure Dad appreciates that." "The point is that there's nothing anyone can do  t hat w o n ' t d i sa p poi nt t he ol d m a n." "It's inevitable." "Y o u k now, t hat ' s w hy w e sto p ped doing Thanksgivings." "Y o u k now, t hat d eat w i t h the boat motor, the broken birdbath." "It's always something." "What are we donna do with him?" "Don't you think he's donna get in trouble  al I by hi m set f i n t he ol d nei g h bo rhood?" "Well, why don't you have him move in with you?" "( C H U C K L ES 1" "H a, ha, ha." "H ey." "S h h." "Death is often a bittersweet occasion to us Cat hot i cs." "Bitter in the pain, sweet in the salvation." "Bitter in the pain it causes the deceased a nd t hei r f a m i I i es." "Sw eet to t hose of us who know the salvation that awaits." "And some may ask, " What is death?" "I s i t t he e nd?" "O r i s i t t he beg i n ni ng?" "And w hat i s I i f e?" "What is this thi ng we call Iif e? "" "(BEEPS!" "AII these questions can f rustrate you." "KAREN :" "Ashley, stop it." "JANOVICH:" "That's why you have to turn to the Lord." "Jesus." "JANOVICH:" "Because the Lord is the sweetness...." "WO MAN :" "T hi s i s so g ood." "MAN:" "Did you have a chance to call Martha?" "DAVID:" "Is that Dad?" "DANIEL:" "No." "That's Grandpa Walt." ""Third platoon, E company, March 2nd, 1 952, Korea"?" "Where's Korea?" "A I ot of peo pl e s how ed u p after the service." "Well, I suppose they heard there's donna be a lot of ham." "I ' I I g o d ow n i n t he base m e nt and get some chairs." " O h, I ca n d o t hat, Dad." "No, I need them now, not next week." "Cool, I f o u nd a m ed al." "Loo k at t hi s." "How much longer do we have to stay?" "T hi s g hetto i s a d ead zo ne f o r m y cel I, and 1' m bored." "Ashley, why don't you go help Grandpa Walt with the chairs?" " Me?" "Yes, you." "Go." "Go help him." "Grandpa Walt, would you like some help with this?" "With your chairs?" "No." "You probably just painted your nails." "KAREN :" "Honey, come here." "Okay, well, your dad is driving me crazy." "Why did you make me do that?" "KAREN :" "It's okay." "We' re leaving soon." "WALT:" "Hey, girl." "Come on." "Co m e o n." "Co m e o n." "Co m e w i t h m e." "( PE O PL E S PEAK I N G I N H M O N G 1" "How many swamp rats can you get in One room?" "( S PI T S 1" "(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE!" "Wow." "Grandpa, when did you get the vintage car?" "1 97 2." "I never knew you had a cool old car." "Yeah." "Well, it's been here since before you were born." "So what are you donna do with it when you, like, die?" "What a bo ut t hat s u pe r-cool retro couch you have in the den?" "Because 1' m going to state next year and it would look really good in my room and I don't have any f urniture at all." "O h, G od." "( D O O R BE L L R I N G S 1" "Who are you?" "What do you want?" " H i." "1 (ive" "Get the shit out of your mouth." "Tell me what you want." "Do you have jumper cables?" " My u ncl e ' s ca r i s ol d a nd - " "We don't have any cables." "And have some respect, zipperhead." "We' re in mourning here." "l-low you holding up, Walt?" " M r." "Kow al s ki." "H u h?" "M r." "Kow al s ki, t hat ' s m y na m e." "Ri g ht." "M r." "Kow al s ki." "Y o u r w i f e a nd I beca m e q ui te cl ose t hose I ast f ew m o nt hs." "She asked that I watch over you w he n s he passed o n." "I told her I watch over my flock." "But she made me promise I'd keep an extra-sharp eye on you." "Look, I appreciate the kindness you've shown to my wife." "Now that you've spoken your piece why don't you go tend to some of your other sheep?" "O key?" "Dorothy mentioned specifically that it was her desire for you to go to confession." "She said she couldn't remember the last time you went." " I s t hat so?" " I t i s." "Well, I confess that I never really cared for church very much." "The only reason I went w as beca use of he r." "And I confess that I have no desire  to co nf ess to a boy that's just out of the seminary." "(CHATTERING IN HMONGI" "MAN:" "Great to see you." "Bye, dear." "So long, Walt." "WOMAN :" "Walt, can you get it started?" "WALT :" "Yeah, it'll be fine." "I w i s h I co ul d hel p, Dad, b ut I g otta g et t he ki d s ho m e." "ilids are getting restless." "MY ea h, f i ne." "J ust g o." "1'11 call you, see how you' re doing." "AII right." "Kill you to buy American?" "Jesus." "Did you see the way he I oo ked at t he t ruc k?" "It's always rice-burner this, Jap-burner that, you know?" "Even at Mom's f uncial, he ca n ' t I et i t g o." "He didn't say anything." " H e d i d n ' t need to." "What do you expect?" "The man worked at Ford all those years." " I s u p pose t hat ' s m y g od d a m n f a ul t." "lust give it a rest, just drive, okay?" "Kids, want the radio on?" "Anyone w a n na I i ste n to so m e m usi c?" "G ood." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING IN HMONGI" "(BIRD SQUAWKING!" "Damn barbarians." "( I N H M O N G 1 1' m just so brokenhearted." "I w a nt m y d a ug hte r to f i nd a not he r h us ba nd." "If she married again there would be a man in the house." "( I N H M O N G 1 What a bo ut T hao?" "The man of the house is right there." "GRANDMA:" "Look at him washing dishes." "He does whatever his sister orders him to do." "How could he ever become the man of t he ho use?" "Be patient, once he's older, he w i I I be t he m a n of t he ho use." "No way." "( I N H M O N G 1 T od ay i s a bl eased d ay, f o r a c hi I d i s bo rn." "I offer food to nurture this child's body." "I of f e r cl ot hi ng to protect this child's flesh." "T he c hi I d i s bl eased w i t h a m ot he r a nd f at he r." "Oh, spirit of this child  return home and do not wander anymore." "Come home, spirit and soul, come home." "Live a good life and grow old." "Jesus." "Polarski would roll over in his grave if he could see his lawn now." "What the hell did Chinks have to move into this neighborhood for?" "( I N H M O N G 1 Why does that old white man stay here?" "AII the Americans have moved out of t hi s nei g h bo rhood." "Why haven't you gone?" "Why don't you strut away, you dumb rooster?" "( D O O R BE L L R I N G S 1" "Are you gone completely deaf o r so m et hi ng?" "Hi there, Walt." "1' m not a f fiend of yours, so why do you insist on calling me Walt?" "Sorry." "Mr. Kowalski." "What are you peddling today, Padre?" "Nothing." "I thought I'd drop by and see you." "I haven't seen you in church." "Now that you've done your good deed, why don't you take off down the road?" "I'd really like to talk, Mr. Kowalski." " N ot i n t hi s I i f eti m e, so n ny." "Why?" "Do you have a problem with me, M r." "Kow al s ki?" "MY o u d o n ' t w a n na k now." " N o, I d o." "Well, I think you' re an over-educated z7-year-old virgin  w ho I i kes to hot d ha nd s of I ad i es who are superstitious and promises them eternity." "(CONVOY QBANITO'S "ESTO ES GUERRA" PLAYS ON CAR STEREOI" "Y o!" "H ey!" "Is you--?" "Is you a boy or is you a girl, man?" "I can't tell." "H ey, c hi ni to, hey, if you was in the pen  I'd be f ucking you in the ass." "Y o u ' d be m y bi tc h." "MAN 1 :" "What are you reading, Jackass and the Rice Stalk?" "Yeah, that's right, keep walking!" "Kee p w al ki ng!" "Look at me when I talk to you, homes!" "MAN 2 :" "Fuc ki ng sl o pes, m a n, everywhere you look, man." "MAN 1 :" "Slopes everywhere we go, man." "MAN 3:" "Go back to your rice paddy." "MAN 4:" "What you looking at, man?" "'Fhat's my little cousin over there." "You sure that's your cousin, man?" "Fuck, yeah, that's my little cousin." " H e ti g ht w i t h a nybod y?" "N o, he f I i es sot o, m a n." "Y o u w a n na d o so m et hi ng?" "Man, let's go down there and see what the f uck they doing over there." "MAN 2:" "I like your sandals too." " H ey." "Y o, w hat ' s u p?" "What ' s u p?" "Yo, what's up, mothers ushers?" "They f ucking with you?" "Man, f uck you, homebody" "What you got?" "MAN 2:" "Hey, we can do this right now." "You go f ucking back to your country." "Fuck you, man." "Oh, good, more f ucking rice niggers." "Aren't you supposed to cook me so m e C hi nose f ood, h u h?" "(CHATTERING!" "l-low many bullets you got?" "We'II catch you on the rebound, homey." "S PI D E R :" "T hao!" "S M O K I E :" "Co m e o n, m a n." "G et i n t he ca r, m a n." "T hao." "G et w i t h us, m a n." "G et i n t he ca r." "MAN 5 :" "Fuc k, m a n, g et i n t he ca r, m a n." "S PI D E R :" "T hao!" "( I N H M O N G 1 T hose p u n k -ass Mexicans messing with you?" "Dog, we just bailed your ass out, dog." "Come on, dog, get the f uck in here." "S PI D E R ( I N E N G L I S H 1 :" "What you doing, man?" "SMOKIE:" "Get in the car, man, come on," "S PI D E R :" "C hi I I w i t h us, m a n." "S M O K I E :" "Co m e o n, m a n." "We just bailed your ass out, dog!" "Co m e o n." "Co m e o n, T hao, m a n." "Y o u need a bi g coz to take care of you, man." "Ma n, f uc k i t." "H ey." "MAN 5:" "Forget it, man." "Let's go, dude." "Fuc k hi s ass." "'Fomorrow, 1'11 see your ass." "SPIDER:" "Why you gutta be a little girl?" "Tomorrow." "Co m e o n, m a n, I et ' s g o." "We got the gun, man." "SPIDER:" "Fuck you." "SMOKIE:" "Let's get the f uck out of here." "We've got the strap." "MAN 5:" "Let's get the f uck out of here." " Fuc k t hat p ussy." "MAN 6 :" "Pussy." "H ey, T hao." "H ey, w hat ' s u p?" "What ' s u p, T hao?" "What are you doing, little man?" "Why you doing women's work?" "What do you want?" "What?" "I ca n ' t j ust co m e a nd tat k to m y I i ttl e co usi n?" "He doesn't hanna talk to you." "Well, 1' m here, right?" "S M O K I E :" "H ey, S pi d e r, w ho t hat?" "S PI D E R :" "What ' s u p?" "S pi d e r?" "I s t hat w hat he just called you, Fong?" "S pi d e r." "Is there something wrong with Spider?" "What are you doing here?" "Hey, so how old is you anyways?" "Mentally, 1' m way too old for you." "What?" "You guys are stupid. 1' m going inside." "What?" "AS ue." "Help your little bro do this gardening." "Bite it, stupid." "Hey." "You hanna roll with us, man?" "Co m e o n." " D ud e." "come on, ride with us." "Come on." "Co m e o n, c hi I I w i t h us." "You need somebody to protect you." "That's what your big coz is for." "Look, dog, I been there, done it, a nd I see n i t, m a n." "Back in the day, everybody used to w a n na beat m e u p." "But now, no bod y w a n na f uc k w i t h m e." " Co m e o n, m a n, I et ' s g o." "We' re coz, right?" "SMOKIE:" "Come on." "We're coz, right?" "We're family." "Look, a brother to Spider is a brother to me." "Come on." "D ud e, m a n, ta ke t hi s s hi t of f." "Co m e o n." "SMOKIE:" "Come on, roll with us." "Come on." "S PI D E R :" "T hat ' s w o m a n ' s w o rk, m a n." "MAN:" "Don't get your hands dirty, man." "So, what do I have to do?" "Spider told me that our boy next door g ot a bad -ass w hi p." "( S PEAKS I N H M O N G 1" "Co m e o n." "N i ce." "Y ea h, m y I i ttl e co usi n bei ng a I i ttl e m a n." "Whoa." "SMOKI E :" "Yo, now, that's a nice car." "Hell, yeah. 1 972 Gran Torino, fastback." "MY o." "cobra jet engine." "Y o, m a n, i t ' s sti I I i n m i nt co nd i ti o n." "Y o, m a n." "I t ' s i n m i nt co nd i ti o n, m a n." "Oh, I've got one." "There's a Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar." "The bartender looks up and says, " Get the f uck out of here. "" "So here's where my flock congregates when they' re not in church." "Hey, Father J." "Hi, Mel." "Hey there, Darrell." "Hello, Father." "Hi, Walt." "What brings you in here, Father?" "The meat raffle?" "No, I just came down to talk to Walt, i f t hat ' s o kay." "Damn, Padre, you are persistent, aren't you?" "I promised your wife." "AII right." "Let's get a b00th." "1'11 have a Pabst and a shot of Jack and whatever he's having." "1'11 have a Diet Coke." "Bullshit, this is a bar." "You have a drink." "Um, 1'11 have a gin and tonic." "WALT :" "Attaboy." "So what do you want?" "I promised your wife I'd get you to g o to co nf ess!" "o n." "Now, why would you do that?" "She was very insistent." "She made me." "You' re kind of fond of promising things you can't deliver on." "Right, Father?" " Let ' s tat k a bo ut so m et hi ng el se." "What?" "Li f e a nd d eat h." "Li f e a nd d eat h." "What t he hel I do you know about life and death?" "I ' d I i ke to t hi n k I k now a I ot." "1' m a priest." "Yeah." "You get up and preach about life a nd d eat h  but all you know is what you learned in priest school." "Right out of the rookie preacher's handbook." "I d o n ' t k now a bo ut t hat." "I t hi n k - " "Death is bittersweet." "Sort of bitter in its pain, but sweet in its salvation." "That's what you know about I i f e a nd d eat h, a nd i t ' s pat heti c." "What do you know, Mr. Kowalski?" "I know a lot." "I lived for almost three years in Korea with it." "T ha n ks." "We shot men stabbed them with bayonets, hacked 1 'El-year-olds to death with shovels." "Stuff 1'11 remember till the day I die." "Horrible things, but things 1'11 live with." "And w hat a bo ut I i f e?" "Well, I survived the war." "Got married, had a family." "Sounds like you know a lot more about death than you do living." "Maybe so, Father." "Maybe so." "( M ET AL C LAN G I N G 1" "So n of a bi tc h." "S PI D E R :" "Co m e o n, g et i n t he ca r!" "T hao, w hat t he f uc k?" "G et i n!" "G et i n, T hao." " Co m e o n, I et ' s g o." "G et i n." "Fuc k, m a n?" "G et i n!" "( L I N E R I N G I N G 1" "( D R I L L WH I RS 1" "( PH O N E R I N G I N G 1" " H el I o?" " H ey." "Mo rni ng, Dad." "It's your number one son, Mitch." "Mo rni ng?" "I t ' s af te r 1 i n t he af te rnoo n, i t ' s not m o rni ng." "Oh, right." "Afternoon, then." "So, what do you want?" "What?" "N o." "N ot hi ng." "I m ea n, w hat w o ul d I w a nt?" "Well, I don't know." "Your wife's already gone through all your mother's jewelry." "N o, Dad, I ' m j ust cat I i ng to see how you' re doing." "Just...." "Anything new with the old neighborhood?" "Y ea h." "N o." "Great. 5m00th sailing." "Y ea h." " O key, g ood." "G ood, t he n." "O h, hey, Dad." "MY ea h." "Y o u w o ul d n ' t ha p pe n to sti I I k now t hat g uy t hat has t he Li o ns seaso n ti c kets?" "Oh, you f uck." "Dad - " "Ain't she sweet." "Come on, girl." "(BUDDAH'S "ALL MY HMONG MUTHA F*KUZ" PLAYS ON CAR STEREO!" "(MUSIC STOPS!" "Yo, what's up?" "What are you guys doing out here, man?" "T H AO :" "N ot hi ng." "S U E :" "Mi nd i ng o u r ow n b usi cess." "THAO:" "Just hanging out." "What are you guys doing here?" "What?" "THAO:" "I told you guys already" "Ca n ' t I j ust co m e ha ng o ut w i t h m y I i ttl e co usi n?" "H u h?" "We have good news for you, man." "Oh, really?" "And what's that?" "O nl y f o r g uy tat k." " I d o n ' t t hi n k so." "Why not?" "Co m e o n, m a n." "We donna give you another shot, man." " Do n ' t g o, T hao." "SMOKIE:" "Mind your own business, girl." " Co m e o n, I et ' s g o." "S PI D E R :" "Co m e." "Yeah, what are you donna do, huh?" "S M O K I E :" "Co m e o n, d og." "(WOMEN SHOUTING IN HMONGI" "(DOG BARKING!" "(ALL CHATTERING IN HMONGI" "S PI D E R :" "Look." "You've broken Daddy's gnome." "WALT:" "What the hell is this?" "MAN 1 :" "G et u p." "G et of f m y I aw n." "Li ste n, ol d m a n, you don't hanna f uck with me." "Did you hear me?" "I sai d, g et of f m y I aw n now." "Are you f ucking crazy?" "G o bac k i n t he ho use." "Yeah." "I blow a hole in your face, a nd t he n I g o i n t he ho use." "And I sl ee p I i ke a ba by." "Y o u ca n co u nt o n t hat." "We used to stack f ucks like you five feet high in Korea  use you for sandbags." "O kay." "But you better watch your back." "Fuck it, man, he's crazy." "MAN 2:" "We'II get this cracker next time." "Thank you." "G et of f m y I aw n." "( T H U D D I N G 1" "What t he hel I i s t hi s?" "Christ." "N o, no." "N o, no, no." "Come on, no more." "No more." "No more." "What--?" "Stay right there." "Stay right there." "Why can't you just leave me alone?" "We brought you some shallots to pl a nt." " I d o n ' t w a nt t he m." "'rhey' re perennials." "They come back every year." "Why are you bringing me al I t hi s g a rbag e?" "Because...." "Because you saved Thao." "1 didn't save anybody." "I just" " I kept a bunch of jabbering gooks of f of m y I aw n, t hat ' s al I." "You' re a hero to the neighborhood." "1' m not a hero." "They think you are." "That's why they keep bringing you gifts." "please, take them." "'rhey' re wrong." "N ow, I j ust w a nt to be I ef t al o ne." "Thank you." "( S PEAKS I N H M O N G 1" "S U E :" "Wait." "T hi s i s m y m o m, V u, I ' m S ue, and that's my brother, Thao." "We live next door." "So?" "T hao w a nts to say so m et hi ng." "11 rn sorry." "sorry for what?" "For trying to steal your car." "Let me tell you something, boy." "You step on this property again, you' re done." "Good afternoon, Walt." "I told you 1' m not going to confession." "Why didn't you just call the police?" "What?" "I d o w o rk w i t h so m e of t he H m o ng g a ng s and I heard there was trouble i n t he nei g h bo rhood." "Why didn't you call the police?" "VVelL..." "You know, I prayed t hat t hey w o ul d s how u p  but nobody answered." "What were you thinking?" "Someone could have been killed." "We' re talking life and death here." "When things go wrong, you gutta act quickly." "When we were in Korea and a thousand screaming gooks came across our line we didn't call the police, we reacted." "We' re not in Korea, Mr. Kowalski." "I've been thinking about our conversation o n I i f e a nd d eat h." "About what you said." "About how you carry around all the horrible things you were forced to do  horrible things that won't leave you." "It seems it would do you good to unload some of that burden." "Things done during war are terrible." "Being ordered to kill." "Killing to save yourself, killing to save others." "You' re right." "Those are things I k now not hi ng a bo ut  but I do know about forgiveness and I've seen a lot of men who have confessed their sins  ad m i (ted t hei r g ui I t, and left their burdens behind them." "Stronger men than you." "Men at war who were ordered to d o a p pal I i ng t hi ng s and are now at peace." "Well, I cotta hand it to you, Padre." "You came here with your guns loaded this time." "Thank you." "And you' re right about one thing." "About stronger men than me reaching their salvation." "Well, halle-!" "ucking-lujah." "But you' re wrong about something else." "What ' s t hat, M r." "Kow al s ki?" "T he t hi ng t hat ha u nts a m a n t he m ost is what he isn't ordered to do." "There." "You finally look I i ke a h u m a n bei ng ag ai n." "Y o u s ho ul d n ' t w ai t so I o ng betw ee n haircuts, you cheap son of a bitch." "Y ea h." "Well, 1' m surprised you' re still around." "I was always hoping you'd die  a nd t hey' d g et so m e bod y who knew what they were doing." "Instead you just keep hanging around like the duo-wop dago you are." "That'II be 10 bucks, Walt." "'ren bucks?" "Jesus Christ, Martin." "What are you, half Jew or something?" "You keep raising the prices." "I t ' s bee n 1 0 b uc ks for the last five years you hard-nosed, Polack son of a bitch." "MY ea h, w el I, kee p t he c ha ng e." "see you in three weeds, prick." "Not if I see you first, hipshot." "Since everything could go downhill af te r t hat." "MY ea h, t hat ' s t rue." "AT hat w o ul d s uc k." "'Fhat's cool, you know?" "Yeah." "MAN :" "Ain't shit going on, man." "Ain't shit going on." "Ma n, I oo k at t hi s." "Loo k at t hi s, Mo n k." "C hec k t hi s o ut." "MONK:" "Oooh." "Boy." "DUKE:" "Oh, yeah." "Bring that little tight ass over here." "Come here, girl." "Don't be shy." "What, you can't say hi?" "Why you acting all stuck-up and shit?" "What you supposed to be, man?" "MY o, i t ' s cool, d og." "What the f uck you doing i n m y nei g h bo rhood, boy?" "N ot hi ng." "J ust g oi ng d ow n to Corner Spot, you know?" "Get some CDs." "It's all good, bro." "See, he called you bro, Duke." "He called you bro, man." "It's all good, bro." "D U K E :" "I t ' s al I g ood, h u h?" "M O N K :" "S h ut t he f uc k u p." "Call me bro again, man, 1'11 bite your mothers ucking face off." "MON K :" "Yeah, motherfucker." "N ow, w hat t he f uc k y'all come down here for?" "You here to bring me this little present?" "Monk?" "She bringing it to us?" "This little Oriental yummy." "Don't worry." "1' m donna take real good care of her." "Fuck out of here, man." "Fuck out of here, man." "( M E N S PEAK I N G I N D I ST I N CT LY 1" "1 told you we' re finished here." "MONK:" "Oh, yeah." "Keep your ass right here." "Oh, great." "Another asshole who has a fetish for Asian girls?" "G od, t hat g ets so ol d." "M O N K :" "O h, s hi t." "What's your name, girl?" "My na m e?" "Get your ass out of here, okay?" "It's "Take your crude come-on to every woman who walks past and cram it. " That's my name." "DU KE :" "Mouthy little bitch." "Who you think you talking to?" "Who d oes i t I oo k I i ke?" "You think you real f undy, don't you?" "Oh, shit." "Ain't she tough?" "What?" "Y o u g o n na hi t m e now?" "T hat would pretty much complete the picture." "You need to keep your bitch on a leash." "Put a chain on that whore and yank that mothers icker." "Of course." "Right to the stereotype thesaurus." "Call me a whore and a bitch i n t he sa m e se nte nce." "'Fhis bitch is crazy." "D U K E :" "I I i ke t he m I i ke t hat." "Ma n, ta ke t hi s bi tc h." "S U E :" "H ey." "G et of f m e." "You don't know when to quit, do you?" "D U K E :" "I ' m g o n na teac h he r a I esse n." "S U E :" "Sto p." "Let g o." "Get your ass over there." "What the f uck you looking at, old man?" "What the hell are you spooks up to?" "AS poo ks?" "You better get your ass on, honky, while I still let you." "'rhat's what you better do." "'rhat's right, bitch." "Fuck you think you at?" "Ever notice how you come across so m e bod y o nee i n a w hi I e that you shouldn't have f ucked with?" "T hat ' s m e." "Man, you f ucking crazy, man." "Get out of here, man." "Why don't you get your ass up out of here  before I kick your old, wrinkly, w hi te ass?" "Crazy mothers icker, man." "What's wrong with him, man?" "Vfhat the fuck?" "'Fhis mothers icker crazy, man." "What's wrong with this nigga, man?" "What t he hel I?" "G et i n t he t ruc k." "This crazy mothers icker, man." "What's wrong with him, man?" "MON K :" "He put his finger at us." "O h, s hi t." "Co m e o n, now." "H ey, po ps." "Co m e o n, now." "Shut your f ucking face." "You f ucking don't listen, do you?" "N ow, g et i n t he t ruc k." "G o o n, g et i n t he t ruc k now." "S hi t." "TREY :" "Way to go, old man." "S h ut u p, p ussy." "What is all this " bro" shit, anyway?" "Want to be Super Spade or something?" "These guys don't want to be your bro  a nd I d o n ' t bl a m e t he m." "N ow, g et your ofay, Paddy ass on down the road." "Take care, now." "Yeah, you too." "Oh, yeah." "Fuc k, m a n, w hy y' al I d i d n ' t f uc ki ng d o not hi ng?" " Ma n, ki c k t hat ni g g a ' s ass." "Man, you f ucking" "S hi t, m a n." "T hi s f uc ke r." "He had that cannon in your f ucking face." "MY o u d i d n ' t d o not hi ng." "'rrying to stay out." "What's the matter with you, for chrissake?" "Trying to get yourself killed?" "I thought you Asian girls were supposed to be smart." "Hanging around a neighborhood I i ke t hat ' s a fast way to get you in the obituaries." "I k now." "I k now." "T a ke i t easy." "And w hat a bo ut t hat g oof bat I g uy you were with?" "I s t hat a d ate o r so m et hi ng?" "Yeah." "Kind of." "His name is Trey." "Well, you shouldn't be hanging out w i t h hi m." "You should be hanging out with your ow n peo pl e, w i t h ot he r H u m o ng s." "You mean Hmong?" "We' re Hmong, not " H among. "" "Vfhatever." "Where the hell is Humong, I mean Hmong, anyway?" "( S U E LAU G H S 1" "Wow." "You' re so enlightened, you know that?" "N o, H m o ng i s n ' t a pl ace." "I t ' s a peo pl e." "Hmong people come f rom different parts of Laos, T hai I a nd, a nd C hi na." "Yeah." "Well, how did you end up i n m y nei g h bo rhood, t he n?" "Why didn't you stay there?" "I t ' s a Vi et na m t hi ng." "We fought on your side." "And when the Americans quit  t he Co m m u ni sts started killing all the Hmong." "So we came over here." "Yeah." "Well, I don't know how you ended up in the Midwest." "There's snow on the ground six months out of the year." "Why d oes a j u ng I e peo pl e w a nt to be in the great f Cozen tundra?" "Hill people." "We were hill people." "Not jungle people." "Booga-booga-booga." "Yeah." "Whatever." "Blame the Lutherans." "They brought us over here." "Everybody blames the Lutherans." "( C H U C K L ES 1" "Well, you'd think the cold w o ul d kee p al I t he i d i ots o ut." "Thanks for the ride." "Y o u k now so m et hi ng, ki d?" "You' re all right." "But what about that dimwit brother of yours?" " H e a I i ttl e sl ow o r so m et hi ng?" "'Fhao is actually really smart." "H e j ust d oes n ' t k now which direction to go in." "Yeah." "Poor Toad." "It's really common." "Hmong girls over here fit in better." "The girls go to college, and the boys go to jail." "Y ea h." "T hat ol d hag hates m y ass." "VVelL..." "" Your bi rthday today. " Daisy." ""This year, you have to make a choice betw ee n tw o I i f e pat hs." "Second Chances Come your way." "Extraordinary events culminate i n w hat m i g ht see m to be a n a nti cl i m ax." "Your lucky numbers are 84., 23  1 1, 78, and 99. "" "What a I oad of s hi t." "Y ea h." "( G R U N T I N G 1" "( BOY S LAU G H I N G 1" "What the hell is it with kids nowadays?" "AII right." "THAO:" "Hey, Mrs. V. Here, let me help you with those." "MRS. V:" "Oh, thank you." "I just-- T H AO :" "I g ot i t." "H ow a bo ut t hat?" "THAO:" "Here you go." " H ow a bo ut t hat, Dai sy?" "THAO:" "Yeah, I got it." "MRS. V.:" "That was too heavy for the bag." "THAO:" "No problem." "'rhank you." "Go ahead, Karen, give it to him." "l-lere you go." "Well, what is it?" " I t ' s a G o p he r." "So you can reach stuff." "Y o u k now, i t m a kes t hi ng s a I ot east e r." "This is f rom me." "I t ' s a p ho ne." " O h, I ca n see t hat." " I j ust t ho ug ht - " "Well, we thought t hat i t w o ul d m a ke t hi ng s east e r." "Well, thank you, Karen." "There's nothing wrong with making things less hard on yourself." "Karen's right, Dad." "You've worked hard your whole life." "Maybe it's time you started thinking about, you know, taking it easier." "J eez." "T hat ' s a not he r t hi ng, Dad." "Y o u really should get rid of the coffin nails." "But, I don't know, we were thinking a bo ut t he ho use." "Y o u k now, w hat w i t h Mo m g o ne, i t ' s gutta be a lot to maintain around here." ".Mm.hm. .Let alone clean." "And, I don't know, you' re here all alone." "Yeah, and there are these great places now, you know, these communities where you don't have to worry about mowing the lawn or shoveling snow where the people are like you, active and alert, but are alone and would benefit f rom being around folks their own age." "Y ea h, Dad, I oo k." "Y o u g otta c hec k i t o ut." "We've brought some brochures." "These places are nothing like what you'd think they'd be." "'rhey' re great." " N o, no, bea uti f ul." "They' re really nice." "They really are." "These are top-notch, like, resorts." "It's like staying in a hotel practically." "'rhey' re beastie ul." "MITCH :" "They really are." "MY ea h." "They take care of everything." "They'll clean up." "They' re really nice." "They have wonders ul stores." "Y o u ca n b uy new s hoes." "MITCH :" "They' re amazing." "They really are." "KAREN :" "You'd have a good time." "play some golf, maybe." "M I T C H :" "Meet ot he r peo pl e." "So n of a bi tc h." "Ki c ki ng us o ut on his birthday." "1 told you this was a bad idea." "1 know." "You were right." " H e w o n ' t I et a nybod y hel p hi m." "Well, we tried." "Can we just drop it?" "No one can say we didn't try." "T he hel I w i t h hi m." "Y o u k now what we should've done?" "We should've stayed home with Josh and Ashley." "At least they were smart enough to not co m e." "Goddamn kids have more sense t ha n w e d o." "WALT:" "We miss Mama, don't we, Daisy?" "Yeah." "Y ea h." "( S PEAK I N G I N H M O N G 1" "S U E :" "Hey, Walt." "What are you up to?" "We' re having a barbecue." "You hanna come over?" "What do you think?" "'rhere's tons of food." "Yeah." "Just keep your hands off my dog." "No worries." "We only eat cats." " Real I y?" "No, 1' m kidding, you moron." "Come on, you can be my special guest." "No, 1' m fine right here." "Y ea h." "( G R OAN S 1" "So n of a bi tc h." "Okay, so, what have you had to eat tod ay?" "O h, I had a pi ece of ca ke a nd a I i ttl e beef je rky." "Come on over and get something to eat." "We've got beer too." "Well, I might as well drink with strangers rather than drink alone." "After all, it is my birthday." "Really?" "Happy birthday, Wally." "Don't call me Wally." "WALT:" "Well, no Pabst, but plenty of beer." "As they say, when in Humong." "Ha, ha." "Hey, what am I doing wrong?" "Every time I look at somebody, they look at the ground." "You' re fine." "( S PEAK I N G I N H M O N G 1" "WALT :" "What's she saying?" "AS he sai d w el co m e to he r ho m e." " O h, no, s he ' s not." "MY ea h, no, s he d i d n ' t." "AS he hates m e." "Co m e o n." "Yeah, she hates you." "O kay." "H ey." "( PE O PL E M U R M U R I N G 1" "Hey, what are all you fish heads looking at anyway?" "I t hi n k w e s ho ul d g o into the other room." "Sorry." "S U E :" "A I ot of peo pl e i n t hi s ho use are very traditional." "Number one, never touch a Hmong person on their head, not even a child." "Hmong people believe that the soul resides on the head, so don't do that." "Well, sounds dumb, but fine." "Y ea h, a nd a I ot of H m o ng peo pl e consider looking someone in the eye to be very rude." "T hat ' s w hy t hey I oo k aw ay when you look at them." "Anything else?" "MY ea h." "Some Hmong people tend to smile or grin when they' re yelled at." "It's a cultural thing." "It expresses embarrassment or insecurity." "It's not that they' re laughing at you or anything." "Yeah." "God, you people are nuts." "But t he f ood d oes I oo k g ood." "S m el I s g ood too." "Well, of course." "It's Hmong food." "Y ea h." "O kay." "Ca n I co m e bac k f o r seco nd s?" "l-lere you go." "AT ha n ks." "You know, you mentioned a bo ut I oo ki ng at peo pl e." "He's been staring at me the whole evening." "T hat ' s Ko r K h ue." "H e ' s t he Lo r f a m i I y s ha m a n." "And what's that, some sort of a w i tc h d onto r o r so m et hi ng?" "So m et hi ng I i ke t hat." "Yeah." "Booga-booga." "Ha, ha." "Very f undy, Wally." "(BOTH SPEAKING IN HMONGI" "Kor Khue's interested in you." "He heard what you did." "He would like to read you." "I t ' d be rud e not to al I ow hi m t hi s." "It's a great honor." "Yeah, sure, fine by me." "Sure." "AII right." "Take a seat." "WALT:" "Here?" "He says that people do not respect you." "They don't even hanna look at you." "He says the way you live, your food has no flavor." "You' re worried about your life." "You made a mistake in your past life, like a mistake that you did you' re not satisfied with." "He says you have no happiness in your life." "It's like you' re not at peace." "Are you all right?" "Y ea h, I ' m...." "Y ea h, I ' m f i ne." "Fine. 1' m fine." "God, I've got more in common w i t h t hose g oo ks than I do my own spoilt rotten family." "Jesus Christ." "Happy birthday." "Are you okay?" "MY ea h." "Y ea h, I ' m f i ne." "You were bleeding." "N o, I bi t m y to ng ue." "I t ' s not hi ng." "Why d o n ' t w e g o a nd g et so m e of t hat g ood g oo k f ood?" "You know, 1' m starving." " O kay." "Fantastic." "Well, you ladies are wonders ul." "This stuff is really good." "Come on, you glutton." "What ' s u p?" " Let ' s g o." "What f o r?" "S U E :" "T o m i ng I e." "Mingle?" "We' re mingling right here." "Co m e o n." "Y o u tot d m e not to leave you alone." "Thank you very much, but I have to go now." "I have to go now." "I ' I I be bac k." "Now, don't let anything go away." "(MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS!" "Oh, great." "Well, well, well." "Look who's over there." "Yeah, the kid who stole my Gran Torino." "My brother, Thao." "Tried to, anyway." "Yeah." "Yeah, Toad." "I t w as a I i ttl e w o b bl y, b ut t hat s ho ul d f i x i t." "Y OUA:" "So where are you guys from?" "1' m not far f rom here." "1' m f rom Texas." "What ' s t hi s?" "A little rice liquor." "Here, try it." "AII right." "My f fiends and I were just wondering what you' re doing here." "Well, that's a good question." "What am I doing here?" "Name's Walt." "Hi, Walt. 1' m Youa." "Yuam." "A pleasure." " N o." "Y o ua." "Y o ua, o kay." "So, what do you do?" " O h, I f i x t hi ng s, st uf f I i ke t hat." " Li ke w hat?" "Well, I just fixed that dryer there, I fixed my wife's f riend's sink and I took old Aunt Mary to the doctor's to get her prescription fixed up." "And then I even fixed a door that hadn't even broken yet." "You' re f undy." "I've been called a lot of things, but never f undy." "Well, 1' m donna take off." "Enjoy yourself." "okay." "Yum Yum." "Pleasure." "Loo k, s he ' s g oi ng, m a n." "Co m e o n." "MAN:" "Youa, wait up." "Rel ax, zi p pe ahead." "1' m not donna shoot you." "I'd look down too, if I was you." "I knew you were a hipshot the first time I ever saw you  but I never thought you were worse w i t h w o m e n than you are at stealing cars, Toad." " I t ' s T hao." "What?" "I t ' s not T oad, i t ' s T hao." "My na m e i s T hao." "Yeah, well, you' re blowing it with that girl who was there." "Not that I give two shits about a toad like you." "Y o u d o n ' t k now what you' re talking about." "You' re wrong." "I know exactly what 1' m talking about." "I may not be the most pleasant person to be around  b ut I g ot t he best w o m a n t hat w as ever on this planet to marry me." "I w o rked at i t." "I t w as t he best t hi ng that ever happened to me." "But you, you know, you' re letting Click Clack, Ding Dong, and Charlie Chan j ust w al k o ut with Miss What's-Her-Face." "She likes you, you know?" "T ho ug h I d o n ' t k now w hy." "Vfho?" "Yum Yum." "You know, the girl i n t he p u rpl e sw eate r." "She's been looking at you all day, stupid." "Y o u m ea n Y o ua." "Yeah, Yum Yum, yeah." "Nice girl." "Nice girl." "A very charming girl." "I tat ked w i t h he r." "Y ea h." "But you, you let her just walk right out with the Three Stooges." "And you know why?" "Because you' re a big, fat pussy." "V%ell  I g otta g o." "G ood d ay, p uss -ca ke." "(WOMEN SPEAKING IN HMONGI" "No." "No more." "Well, okay, put them over there." "Bye-bye." "No, no." "No, no more." "No more." "Come on." "No more, now." "No more, please. 1" "I s t hi s t hat c hi c ke n -d u m pl i ng t hi ng you brought the other--?" "Oh, all right." "Co m e o n, I ad i es." "Certainly better than beef jerky, 1'11 tell you." "What ' s g oi ng o n?" "What ' s g oi ng o n?" "Thao is here to make amends." "He's here to work for you." "(VU SPEAKING IN HMONGI" "N o, he i s n ' t." "H e ' s not g o n na w o rk f o r m e." "My mom said he dishonored the family a nd now he has to w o rk of f hi s d e bt." "He'II start tomorrow morning." "Not tomorrow, not any time." "I don't even want him on my property." "I thought we went over all that." "It's very important that you accept, and it would be an insult if you ref use." "Why i s t hi s bei ng p ut bac k o n m e?" "He's the one who tried to steal my car." "AII of a sudden, 1' m the bad guy in this." "Look, my family is very traditional and would be very much upset if you don't let Thao repay." "I f he d oes n ' t w a n na d o i t, t he n I et ' s j ust g o." "S h ut u p, s h ut u p, s h ut u p!" "Y ea h." "S h ut u p." "AII right." "Tomorrow, come on." "Tomorrow." "Thank you." "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "Thank you." "Jesus, Joseph, and Mary, these Hmong broads are like badgers." "So n of a bi tc h, I never thought he'd show." "AII right." "What are you good at?" "Li ke w hat?" "Well, that's what 1' m asking." "If you' re donna work for me, I cotta know what you' re good at." "I cotta know what you can do." "I d o n ' t k now." "Well, that's kind of halfway what I expected you to say." "You see that tree right there?" "You just go over there and count the birds." "You want me to count the birds?" "Yeah, you can count." "AII you slopes are supposed to be good at math, right?" "MY ea h, I ca n co u nt." "G ood." "O ne, tw o...." "So, what do you have for me today?" "You want me to watch paint dry?" "Maybe even count the clouds t hat pass by?" "Do n ' t g et f I i p w i t h m e, boy." "1' m not the one who tried to steal." "Don't you forget that." "Go ahead." "I don't care if you insult me or say racist things." "Because you know what?" "1'11 take it." "Yeah, course you'll take it, because you have no teeth, you have no balls, kid." "Look, 1' m stuck here so why don't you just find something use!" "ul f o r m e to d o?" "Because unlike you, 1' m not useless, and I maintain my own property." "You swamp rats, on the other hand, you just can't help but...." "How long do I have you for?" "AT oad?" "H ow I o ng?" "Till next Friday." "Y ea h." "( C H U C K L ES 1" "AII right." "Go get the ladder out of the garage." "When you get finished with that roof there you can take that gutter a nd nai I i t bac k u p." "1' m tired of looking at it the last three years." "(MAN SPEAKING IN HMONGI" "Y ea h." "Yeah, you said it, brother." "(THUNDER RUMBLING!" "H el I o." "Grandpa says he wants to know if you can have Thao clear out the big wasp nest under our porch." "Wasp nest?" "Well, that's terrible." "Y ea h, w el I, I t hi n k w e ca n ha nd I e t hat af te r I u nc h." "(GIRL SPEAKING IN HMONGI" "( D O O R BE L L R I N G I N G 1" "( C O U G H I N G 1" "Jesus, Lord Almighty, knock it off." "H ey, i t ' s m y I ast d ay." "So, what else do you have for me to do?" "Take the day off." "You've done enough." "Toad." "Nothing, never mind." "WOMAN:" "The doctor will see you now." "Thank you." "Kos ki?" "Kos ki?" "Kos ki?" "M r." "Kow al s ki?" "G ood m o rni ng." "I looked over your paperwork  a nd I t hi n k w e s ho ul d i m m ed i ate!" "y start a f ult battery of tests." "I f eel t hat t hi s w o ul d be t he best w ay to g o a bo ut  c hec ki ng o ut t he i ss ues that you've had" "Excuse me." "What happened to Dr. Feldman, my regular doctor?" "Dr. Feldman retired three years ago." "1' m his replacement, Dr. Chu." "( PH O N E R I N G I N G 1" "It's Grandpa Walt." "pick it up." "MY o u tat k to hi m." " Mi tc h." "1' m doing bills here." "KAREN:" "You talk to him." "He's your father." "H ey, Dad." "WALT:" "Hi, Mitch, it's.." "It's me, your dad." "Yeah, I kno -." "What 's up?" "Oh, nothing." "Nothing much, really." "l-low's everything going?" "1' m fine." "Fine." "Doing fine." "Fine." "Good." "Ho pp' about Karen and the kids?" "Fine, everybody's great." "Doing fine." "G ood." "H ow a bo ut w o rk?" "Busv." " Yeah." "MY ea h, I s u p pose." "I n f act, s pea ki ng of b usy, I got a lot on my plate right now so if there's not something pressing...." "N o." "N o, not at al I." "So why don't you call me t hi s w ee ke nd?" "Sure." "Okay." "It bas nice talking to you, Dad." "Thanks for calling." "T ha n ks." "Y ea h." "( L. P., BU D DAH, C U Z Z  L. B. ' S "APPRECIATION " PLAYS ON CAR STEREOI" "This kid doesn't have a chance." "What do you know about faucets?" " I k now a I ot a bo ut t he m, boy." "Sta nd asi d e." "Iesus." "For the love of Pete." "What?" "It must be a hundred degrees in here." "Why don't you turn on the fan?" "The place is falling apart." "THAO:" "Man, where'd you get all this stuff?" "What are you talking about?" "AII the tools and stuff." "Well, it may come as a surprise to a t hi ef  b ut I bo ug ht t hi s st uf f, everything in here, with my own money." "Yeah, yeah." "That's not what I meant." "I mean, there's just so much shit packed in here." "Yeah." "Well, every tool in here has a p u rpose." "Everything has a job to do." "They' re all to use if necessary." "O key, so, w hat ' s t hat?" "AT hat ' s a post - hot e d i g g e r." "AT hat?" "Vise grips." "AT hat?" "Wire cutters." "You know it's a trowel, come on." "Those are shears there, a nd t hat ' s a saw." "T hat ' s a tac k ha m m e r." "Y o u ca n ' t f ool m e, ki d." "AII right, what's on your mind?" "It's just, I can't afford to b uy al I t hi s st uf f." "Well, I guess even a bonehead like you could understand that a man acquires this over a period of 50 years." "MY ea h, b ut...." "AII right, look, here." "Take these three items, right here." "You can have this." "WD-40, vise grips and some duct tape." "Any man worth his salt can do half of the household chores with just those three things." "Anything else you need, you just borrow it, that's all." "O kay." "Cool." "( C O U G H I N G 1" " Fuc k m e." "What ' s w i t h t hat?" "N ot hi ng." "What?" "N ot hi ng, h u h?" "I just saw you coughed up blood." "T hat ' s not g ood." "You should really see a doctor." "Y ea h." "Loo k those guys who were here t he ot he r ni g ht, o n m y I aw n." "What a bo ut t he m?" "J ust a g a ng, a b u nc h of Hmong sandbaggers." "Y ea h, I ass u m ed t hat, but what were they doing here?" "They were donna take me away." "They were kind of pissed that I blew my first initiation." "Yeah." "Well, you are a pussy, you know, you hanna hang out with guys like that." "What was your initiation supposed to be?" "My Gran Torino?" "Christ all Friday." "S hit." "Toad, you got a minute?" "AII right." "Okay." "Here it is." "Here's the deal." "I take the top because that's the heaviest." "I p ul I o n t hat, and you stand right back here and you push a nd hel p m e p us h i t u p eac h ste p." "lust like that." "AT he n I et m e ta ke t he to p." "No, no, I've got the top." "Real I y, I ' I I ta ke t he to p." "It looks heavy." "Look, 1' m not crippled." "I've got the top." "If you don't let me take the top, I ai n ' t hel pi ng." " N ow, I i ste n to m e, zi p pe ahead - " "No, you listen, old man." "1' m here because you needed help." "So it's either top or 1' m out of here." "( G R OWLS 1" "AII right." "You take the top, and 1'11 push." "Just don't let it slip out of your little-girl hands and crush me." "Don't give me any ideas, now." "AT hat t hi ng w ei g hs a to n." "MY ea h." "I t ru ns I i ke a cl oc k, t ho ug h." "T hey j ust don't make them like this anymore." "So, what are you donna do with it?" "Sel I i t, I g cess." "H ow m uc h?" "60 bucks." "They.... 1' m tired of having it sit around down in the basement there." "Why?" "You looking for a f geezer?" "The downstairs one kind of died." "Okay. 25 bucks and it's yours." "Twenty-five?" "But you just said 60." "I know, but this'll save me money p utti ng a n ad i n t he pa pe r." "l-et's wheel it over to your place." "AII right." "Okay." "ilind of ironic, huh?" "WALT :" "What?" "T oad w as hi ng t he ca r that he tried to steal f rom you." "Y ea h." "H e m i eses o ne s pot, he's doing it all over again too." "It's nice of you to I oo k af te r hi m I i ke t hi s." "He doesn't have any real role models i n hi s I i f e." "Well, 1' m not any role model." "But you' re a good man, Wally." "I w i s h o u r f at he r would've been more like you." "Don't go calling me Wally." "No, 1' m serious." "He was really hard on us, really traditional, and really old-school." "MY ea h, w el I, I ' m ol d -sc hoot." "Yeah, but you' re an American." "What ' s t hat s u p posed to m ea n?" "You like him, don't you?" "Are you kidding?" "He tried to steal my car." "Uh-huh." "And you spend time with him teach him how to fix things, saved him f rom that f ucked cousin of ours." "Hey." "Watch your language, lady." "And you' re a good man." "I ' m not a g ood m a n." "Get me another beer, dragon lady." "T hi s o ne ' s e m pty." "Y o u k now, t he H m o ng co nsi d e r gardening to be women's work." "Yeah." "That's probably why I see you in the garden over there all the time." "Besides, we ain't in Humong." "Funny." "You know, you should quit." "That's bad for you." "Y ea h?" "So i s bei ng i n a g a ng, d i ps hi t." "Didn't you hear what I just said?" "I saw you cough up blood." "Y o u s ho ul d q ui t." "So, w hat ' s t hat e m bl e m s u p posed to mean anyway?" "Is it your ancient Cub Scout emblem?" "First Cavalry." "I've had it since ' 51." "So, what do you want to do with your life, kid?" "Well, I was thinking about maybe sales." "Sal es, h u h?" "My ol d est so n i s i n sat es." " Does he d o w el I?" "Oh, yeah." "License to steal." "I work in the Ford factory for 50 years, and he's out selling Japanese cars." "You made cars?" "MY ea h." "I put the steering column in this Gran Torino in 1 972, right on the line." "Oh, you are old." "So cool." "Yeah." "So you hanna be in sales." "You t hi n ki ng a bo ut g oi ng to sc hoot m aybe?" " Ki nd of, b ut sc hoot costs m o ney." "Well, maybe you should get a job." "You can't just sit there and spread mulch in my garden the rest of your life." "Well, maybe you could just pay me." "Yeah." "Very f undy." "Well, what kind of job could I ever get?" "Yeah." "You' re right." "Nobody would ever hire you." "Y ea h, I k now." "Loo k, I ' m j ust ki d d i ng, zi p." "I mean, you could get a job." "You could get a job anywhere." " Li ke w hat?" "Well, how about construction?" " Me?" "MY ea h." " Co nst recti o n?" "You have Alzheimer's or something?" " N o." "Y o u co ul d g et a j o b i n co nst recti o n." "I know people in the trades." "Course, I have to make a little adjustment and man you up a little bit." " Ma n m e u p?" "MY ea h." "And I think you ought to d ate Mi ss Y u m Y u m too." "Do you a little good." "Y o u k now, g et a I i ttl e ca rbo n off the valves." "Now you' re just donna learn how guys talk." "You just listen to the way Martin and I batter it back and forth." "You okay?" "You ready?" "sure." "WALT:" "AII right." "Let's go in." "Perfect." "A Polack and a chink." "How you doing, Martin, you crazy Italian prick?" "You cheap bastard, I should've known you'd come in." "I was having such a pleasant day." "What'd you do, Jew some poor blind guy o ut of hi s m o nay?" "Gave him the wrong change?" "Who ' s t he N i p?" "Oh, he's a pussy kid f rom next door." "1' m just trying to man him up a little bit." "Mm." "You see, kid?" "Now, that's how guys tat k to o ne a not he r." "AT hey d o?" "What, you got shit in your ears?" "N ow g o o n o ut a nd co m e bac k i n, a nd tat k to hi m I i ke a m a n." "Like a real man." "come on, Walt." "come on." "Get your ass out of here." "And co m e o n bac k now." "sorry about this." " I t ' s o kay." "What's up, you old Italian prick?" "Get out of my shop before I blow your head off..." "...you goddamn dick-smoking gook!" "Iesus Christ." "Oh, shit." "T a ke i t easy." "T a ke i t easy." "What the hell are you doing?" "Have you lost your mind?" "But that's what you said." "That what you said men say." "Y o u d o n ' t j ust co m e i n a nd i ns ul t t he m a n i n hi s s ho p." "Y o u d o n ' t d o t hat." "What happens if you meet some stranger and get the wrong one?" "He's donna blow your gook head right off." "What should I have said, then?" "Yeah, kid, why don't you start with " Hi " or " Hello "?" "Y ea h, j ust co m e i n a nd say :" "" Si r, I ' d Ii ke a hai scut, if you have time. "" "Y ea h, be pol i te, b ut d o n ' t ki ss ass." "WALT :" "You could talk about a construction job you just came f rom and bitch about your girls fiend and your car." "So n of a bi tc h, I just got my brakes fixed  a nd t hose so ns of bi tc hes really nailed me." "I mean, they screwed me right in the ass." "WALT:" "Don't swear at the guy." "J ust tat k a bo ut peo pl e who are not in the room." "You could bitch about your boss  making you work overtime w he n i t ' s bow I i ng ni g ht." "Ri g ht." "O r m y ol d I ad y bi tc hes for two goddamn hours  a bo ut how t hey d o n ' t ta ke expired coupons at the grocery store  a nd t he m i n ute I t u rn o n t he g a m e, she starts crying how we never talk." "Y o u see?" "N ow g o o ut, co m e bac k a nd tat k to hi m." "And it ain't rocket science, for chrissake." "Yeah, but I don't have a job, a car or a girls fiend." "Jesus." "I should've blown his head off w he n I had t he c ha nce." "Y ea h." "Maybe so." "Now, okay, I want you to turn around a nd g o o utsi d e  a nd co m e bac k, a nd d o n ' t tat k about having no job  no car, no girls fiend, no f uture, no dick." "Okay?" "Just turn around and go." "Excuse me, sir." "I need a haircut, if you ain't too busy." "Y o u ol d I tat i a n so n -of -a - bi tc h prick barber." "Boy, does my ass hurt f rom all the guys at m y co nst recti o n jo b." "Fuc k m e." "Jesus Christ." "AII set to go through with it, right?" "Yeah, yeah." "Don't "Yeah yeah" me Just say, " Yes, si r, " and, " I ' 11 do my best. "" "THAO:" "Yes. 1'11 do my best." "Because when I vouch for somebody, that means I've given my word." "And I don't want you m a ki ng m e I oo k bad." "N o, I ' m g ood." "T otal I y i nto t hi s." "Do n ' t I ay d ow n, ei t he r." "Just look them straight in the eye." "And a m a n ca n tel I a I ot by your handshake." "l-lere." "Put those in your back pocket." " Cool." "Do n ' t bl ow t hi s." "Hey, Kennedy, you drunken Irish goon." "How the hell are you?" " I ' m s hi tty, b ut w ho ' s g o n na I i ste n?" "WALT :" "Not me, that's for sure." "Help yourself, there, Walt." "You dumb Polack." "O key, t hi s i s t he ki d I was telling you about." "T hao, t hi s i s T i m Ke n ned y." "H e ' s t he s u pe r o n t hi s j o b." "T I M :" "So, what do we got here, Walt?" "Well, he knows construction, and he's a smart kid." "He'II do anything you need him for." "You sure?" "MY ea h." "MY o u s pea k E ng I i s h?" "MY es, si r." "Were you born here?" "MY o u bet." "I see that Walt drove you here." "You got a vehicle?" "N ot at t he m o m e nt." "T a ki ng t he b us f o r now." "The bus." "Jesus Christ, you don't have a car?" "My head gasket cracked." "And the goddamn prick at the shop wants to bend me over for 2100." "O h, pl ease." "I replaced the Cranny in my Tahoe, and the sons of bitches f ucked me hard." "lust under 3200." "Goddamn thieves." "It ain't right." "You got that right." "O key, co m e o n i n o n Mo nd ay, and we'll find something for you to do." "AT ha n ks, M r." "Ke n ned y." "It's Tim." "And what's your name again?" "AT hao." "" T uh, " okay." "You owe me one, Walt." "Yeah." "Well, 1'11 buy you a f suitcase for Christmas." "Fuck the f suitcase." "How about you just hand over them keys to that Gran Torino?" "Why the hell does everybody w a nt m y ca r?" "Well, 1' m not surprised." "Yeah, you don't know the half of it." "AII right, come on, zipperhead." "We'II let the mick stay here a nd pl ay w i t h hi m set f." "What are we doing?" "What do you hanna do?" "Carry your tools in a rice bag?" "Here we are." "You can use one of these." "And you'll need one of these." "Here." "THAO:" "I can't afford any of this." "WALT : 1'11 cover it." "Y o u ca n pay m e bac k on your first paycheck." "THAO:" "Cool." "Here." "You'll need something like that." "N ow, t hi s i s w hat I ' m I oo ki ng f o r." "Here, tool belt." "'Fhere you go." " N ot to bi tc h  b ut w o n ' t I be need i ng so m e tool s?" "Tools I've got, b ut I ' m not g o n na I e nd m y tool bel t." "You can pick up tools as you go." "1 really appreciate all this." "Forget it." "No." "I really do." "Thank you." "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREOI" "What's up, homeboy?" "What you doing?" "MAN 1 :" "What u p, m a n?" "MAN 2:" "What you got, punk?" "ulust checking up on my little cousin." "S M O K I E :" "Y ea h, m a n." " O u r I i ttl e co usi n." "What ' s t hi s?" "SPIDER:" "Where you coming f rom, man?" "1' m coming home f rom work." "Not that you guys would know m uc h a bo ut t hat." "SPIDER:" "So it's true." "You got a job." "THAO:" "You can't just leave me alone?" "What?" "SMOKI E :" "Hey, dog, check this out." "( S PEAKS I N H M O N G 1" "MAN 3:" "You scared, huh?" "S PI D E R :" "Who bought this shit for you?" "Your dad?" "What do you want?" "MY o u r d ad bo ug ht t hi s?" "THAO:" "Keep your hands off my stuff." "SPIDER:" "Give me the f ucking hat." "Why t he f uc k you gutta make me look bad?" "THAO:" "Keep your hands off my stuff!" "S m as hi ng ' s m y jo b, m a n." "Yo, give me that." "T H AO :" "H ey, co m e o n." "T hat ' s m y st uf f." "MAN 1:" "Throw it over the fence, man, fuck it." "T H AO :" "Let m e g o." "Let m e g o." "MAN 2:" "Hey, you little bitch." "Give me that, man." "Give me that." "( S PEAKS I N H M O N G 1" "What's the phrase 1' m looking for?" "MAN 3 :" "Fuc k hi m u p." "Oh, yeah." "Saving face." "( S C R EAM I N G 1" "l-ley there." " H ey." "I g otta ru n." "Haven't seen you in a few days." "Where you been?" "Been busy." "MY ea h." "Busy, h u h?" "Hey." "What the hell happened to you?" "Don't worry about it." "What do you mean, don't worry about it?" "Look at your face." "I said, don't worry about it." "Okay?" "It's not your problem." "Vfhen?" "Grabbed me a couple days ago, right after I got off work." "Cowards." "I did everything I could possibly do, but they broke some of your tools." "1'11 replace them." "Don't worry about the tools." "Where does your cousin live?" "No, Walt. 1'11 be okay." "1 don't want you to do anything." "AII right." "If you need any extra tools, you just let me know." "Well, I could use a roofing hammer." "Good." "Go in my garage and get it." "T hat s ho ul d be t he I ast of t he m." "Hey." "AII right." "Here's the deal." "You stay away f rom Thao, understand?" "You tell your f fiends to stay away f rom Thao." "I f t hey d o n ' t I i ste n, tel I t he m you don't hanna see them anymore." "T hat ' s i t." "G ot i t?" "1'11 take that as a yes." "If I have to come back here  i t ' s g o n na g et f uc ki ng ug I y." "G et o ut of m y w ay." "How do you want your dog?" "I m ea n, stoa k?" "T H AO :" "Fu n ny." "1 told you, we only eat cats." "Yeah." "Well." "Whoa." "I've never seen you like this before." "I ' m f eel i ng g ood." "Y o u k now, I got beastie ul women, great food." "T H AO :" "And T hao." "And even Thao isn't bugging me." "l-laving a good time, I see." "MY ea h." "THAO:" "And it never ends." "What ha p pe ned to your knuckles anyways?" "I slipped in the shower." "No big problem." "Loo k, now, Y u m Y u m, if he doesn't ask you out  1' m donna ask you out." "Y o ua, d o n ' t I i ste n to hi m, Y o ua." "He's a white devil." "Yeah, I am. 1' m the white devil." "I'd love to, Walt, but he beat you to it." "Real I y?" "N o ki d d i ng." "Dinner and a movie or what?" "Yeah." "They' re taking the bus." "No, you can't take the bus." "We gutta get you something more stylish than that." "Li ke w hat?" "T a ke a I i m o?" "H ow a bo ut t hat?" "'Fhe Gran Torino?" "MY ea h." "You'd let me take the Gran Torino?" "Yeah, I'd let you take the Gran Torino." "Real I y?" "Yeah, really." "Y ea h." "Y ea h." "MAN ( O N T V 1 :" "Sere 's the pitch." "And a strike." "(WOMEN SCREAMING!" "WALT:" "Is everybody all right?" "(VU SPEAKING IN HMONGI" "You' re all right." "You' re okay." "You've got a cut." "It's all right, it's all right, it's all right." "Where's grandma?" "Where is Sue?" "Where is Sue?" "AS he w e nt to o u r a u nt ' s." "Your aunt's?" "You sure?" "MY ea h." "Get on the phone and call right now." "( S PEAK I N G I N H M O N G 1" "I k new t hi s w as g o n na ha p pe n." "Tried to-- What the hell am I doing here?" "Well, maybe some of her f fiends called a nd t hey c ha ng ed pl a ns." "Y ea h." "In the war, we just lost a lot of f fiends, but you' re kind of set for it." "You' re geared to it." "( S PEAK I N G I N H M O N G 1" "N o, no, no." "You f uck!" "You rotten f uck!" "M r." "Kow al s ki?" "MY o u o key?" "MY ea h." "I ' m o kay." "T he pol i ce f i nal I y I ef t." "N o o ne ' s tat ki ng." "O ne t hi ng a bo ut t he H m o ng, t hey kee p t hei r m o ut hs s h ut." "Yeah, I've noticed that." "You know, Thao and Sue are never donna find peace in this world as long as that gang's around." "Until they go away, you know, forever." "What are you saying?" "You know what 1' m saying." "I too k S ue to t he hos pi tat." "She's scared." "They' re all scared." "Y ea h." "T hao, es peci al I y." "He's sitting out there right now, staring at your f root door." "Y o u k now w hat he expects, M r." "Kow al s ki." "What would you do?" "What s ho ul d T hao d o?" "1 know what I would do if I was you." "O r at I east what you think you should do." "Real I y?" "I f I w as T hao, I guess I'd want vengeance." "I ' d w a n na sta nd s ho ul d e r to s ho ul d e r with you and kill those guys." "And you?" "What w o ul d I d o?" "I'd come over here and talk to you, I g cess." "I know you' re close with these people, b ut t hi s pi eses m e of f too, M r." "Kow al s ki." "Want a beer?" "I'd love one." "There's some in the chest right over there behind you." "Da m n al I t hi s." "lust isn't fair." "Nothing's fair, Father." "So, what are you donna do, M r." "Kow al s ki?" "Call me Walt." "AII right." "What are you donna do, Walt?" "I d o n ' t k now but 1'11 think of something." "Whatever it is, they won't have a chance." "What are you doing?" "AT hi n ki ng." "'rhinking?" "Thinking time is over." "N ow i t ' s ti m e to k noc k t he s hi t out of those pricks." "I know you don't hanna hear this, b ut now ' s t he ti m e to stay cat m." "Cal m?" "Y o u w a nt m e to be cat m?" "We stay calm or else mistakes get made." "We have to step back f rom this thing." "No." "Don't let me down, Walt." "Not you." "T hi s i s g o n na e nd tod ay." "Si t d ow n." " I d o n ' t w a n na si t." " I sai d, si t d ow n." "Now, listen to me." "We gutta plan this, and plan it very caret ally." "We can't make any mistakes." "Now, you know 1' m the right man f o r t hi s jo b." "So I want you to go home a nd stay cat m and come back here at 4 t hi s af te rnoo n." "And w hat need s to be d o ne w i I I be d o ne." "I say w e g o now." "Ri g ht now." "And what?" "Kill that cousin of yours and the rest of those zips?" "M r." "T o ug h G uy o ut f o r bl ood al I of a s ud d e n?" "Y o u k now not hi ng a bo ut i t." "Now go home and you stay calm." "Come back here at 4." "AII right?" "O key?" "O kay." "Y ea h." "I k now, I k now." "Give me a break, will you?" "It's the first time I've ever smoked i n t he ho use." "Let a man enjoy hi mself, would you, girl?" "AII finished." "Ten dollars American." "I don't suppose your Guinea hands are steady enough to do a straight shave?" "Straight shave?" "You've never asked for a straight shave." "I know, but I've always wondered about it." "That's unless you' re too busy." " N o, j ust I et m e heat u p a tow el." "Yeah." "And here, here's a 20." "Kee p t he c ha ng e." "T hat ' s j ust i n case you hit my jugular." "I t ' s g o n na ta ke a bo ut o ne ho u r." "We donna shorten the sleeves a little bit." "G o n na f i x t he s ho ul d e r." "Yeah." "I never had a fitted suit before." "MY es, si r." ".Mm.hm. .You look very good." "What can I do for you, Mr. Kowalski?" "1' m here for a confession." "Oh, Lord Jesus." "What have you done?" " N ot hi ng." "Y o u j ust ta ke i t easy, now." "What are you up to?" "Are you donna give me a confession O r not?" "H ow I o ng has i t bee n since your last confession?" "WALT:" "Oh, forever." "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What are your sins, my son?" "Well, in 1 968, I kissed Betty Jablonski at the factory Christmas party." "Dorothy was in the other room with the other wives." "I t j ust ha p pe ned." "Y es, g o o n." "Well, I made a goo-dollar profit set I i ng a boat a nd a m oto r." "I didn't pay the taxes." "I t ' s t he sa m e as steal i ng." "Y es, f i ne." "O h, I asti y  I was never very close w i t h m y tw o so ns." "I d o n ' t k now t he m." "I d i d n ' t k now how." "T hat ' s i t?" "That's it?" "It's bothered me m ost of m y I i f e." "Say 10 " Hail Marys" and five " Our Fathers. "" "God loves you and forgives you, and I absolve you of all your sins." "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." "Thank you, Padre." "Are you going to retaliate f o r w hat ha p pe ned to S ue?" "1' m going over to that house today, M r." "Kow al s ki." "WALT:" "Is that so?" "It is." "And every other day until you see the folly in what you' re planning." " Busy d ay." "G otta g o." "G o i n peace." "O h, I a m at peace." "Jesus Christ." "So w hi c h o ne ' s m i ne?" "You ever fired a weapon before?" "N o." "Well, why don't you put that one down?" "And I got something I hanna show you." "Co m e o n." "THAO:" "What?" "1 952, we were sent up to take out a c hi n k m ac hi ne -g u n nest." "Been shredding us up pretty good." "I w as t he o nl y o ne t hat ca m e bac k t hat d ay." "For that, they gave me a Silver Star." "Here it is." "Here." "I want you to have it." "Vfhy?" "Why?" "Because we all knew the dangers that night, but we went anyway." "T hat ' s t he w ay i t m i g ht be to ni g ht." "There's always a chance you don't come back." "The hell we won't." "We' re donna roll up in there and tear some ass." "That's foolish." "That's the exact reaction they' re waiting for." "G o a head a nd cl ose t hi s u p." " H ow m a ny?" " H ow m a ny w hat?" "How many men did you kill in Korea?" "'Fhirteen." "Maybe more." "What w as i t I i ke to ki I I a m a n?" "Y o u d o n ' t w a n na k now." "N ow cl ose i t u p." "(DOOR SLAMS!" "( L O C K C L I C KS 1" "Walt." "Walt." "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "Relax." "You can't get out of there." "You let me out right now." "Let m e o ut." "Fucking let me out or 1'11 f ucking kill you." "AS h ut t he f uc k u p." "Y o u w a n na k now w hat i t ' s I i ke to ki I I a m a n?" "Well, it's goddamn awf ul, t hat ' s w hat i t i s." "The only thing worse i s g etti ng a m ed al  f o r ki I I i ng so m e poo r ki d that wanted to just give up, that's all." "Yeah, some scared little gook just like you." "I shot him in the face with that rifle you were holding in there a while ago." "N ot a d ay g oes by t hat I d o n ' t t hi n k a bo ut i t and you don't want that on your soul." "N ow, I g ot bl ood o n m y ha nd s." "I ' m soi I ed." "T hat ' s w hy I ' m g oi ng i t al o ne to ni g ht." "Walt." "You take me with you right now." "Let m e o ut!" "Look, you've come a long way." "1' m proud to say that you' re my f fiend  but you got your whole life ahead of you." "But me, I finish things." "T hat ' s w hat I d o." "And I ' m g oi ng i t al o ne." "No." "Wait!" "Walt!" "Walt!" "Walt!" "Walt!" "Walt!" "(GRANDMA SPEAKING I N H MONG 1" "Look, I need you to watch my dog." "Yeah, I love you too." "Y ea h, s he ' s ol d too." "Bye-bye, sweetheart." "Take it easy." "H e r na m e i s Dai sy." "( WH I M PE RS 1" "( PH O N E R I N G I N G 1" " H el I o?" "WALT :" "It as Walt." "The keys to my house are under the ceramic turtle on the porch." "Let yourself in." "Your brother's i n t he base m e nt." "I g otta g o." "(GRANDMA SPEAKING I N H MONG 1" "Sorry, Father, we have to go." "1' m telling you, if we' re not here, there will be bloodshed." "We've been here for hours." "We can't afford to anchor a unit to o ne I ocati o n." "1' m begging you to stay." "Just got word f rom my sergeant." "We' re pulling the plug." "1' m staying." "No, you aren't." "We have specific orders." "You came with us, you' re leaving with us." "Watch your head." "THAO:" "Sue." "Over here." "Over here." " Co m e u nl oc k t hi s." "S U E :" "What ' s g oi ng o n?" "H e I ef t w i t ho ut m e." "H e w e nt to S m o ki e ' s w i t ho ut m e." "S U E :" "T hao!" "(GANGBANGERS CHATTERING!" "MAN 1:" "What the fuck, man?" "Any swamp rats in there?" "1 didn't think your ass would've came." "AS h ut u p, g oo k." "I got nothing to say to you, shrimp-dick midget like you." "Yeah, yeah." "You go ahead, watch out for your boy!" "fiend." "Because it was either he or you o r so m eo ne who raped one of their own family." "Your own blood, for chrissake." "N ow, g o a head a nd p ul I t hose pi stol s like miniature cowboys." "G o a head." "So where's Thao at?" "'rhat pussy mothers icker couldn't come?" "Don't worry about Thao." "Thao's got not one second for you." "SMOKI E :" "Says who?" "You?" "What the f uck you donna do, old man?" "(GANGBANGERS CHUCKLE!" "MAN 1:" "What you donna do..." "... p u n k ass ol d m a n?" "MAN 2:" "Bitch." "ltind of jumpy, aren't we?" "AS h ut t he f uc k u p." "Y o u s h ut t he f uc k u p." "G ot a I i g ht?" "S PI D E R :" "What t he f uc k?" "N o." "Me." "I've got a light." "Hail Mary, f ult of grace." "Yes, Sergeant." "T H AO :" "What ha p pe ned?" "MY o u need to ste p bac k." "He's a f fiend of mine." "I sai d, ste p bac k." "Hey, did you hear him?" "Step back." "What ha p pe ned?" " H ey, ste p bac k." "He's my f fiend." "( I N H M O N G 1 Please, it's important." "( I N H M O N G 1 H e w e nt f o r hi s I i g hte r a nd t hey s hot hi m." "He didn't even have a gun on him." "This time we have witnesses." "These guys will be locked up f o r a I o ng ti m e." "Of f i ce r C ha ng!" "G et t hose peo pl e bac k." "( I N E N G L I S H 1 You have to step back now, okay?" "Get them the f uck out of here." "Get them out of here." "Walt Kowalski once said to me  t hat I d i d n ' t k now anything about life or death  because I was an over-educated, z7-year-old virgin who held the hands of superstitious old women and promised them eternity." "( PE O PL E C H U C K L E 1" "Walt definitely had no problem cat I i ng i t I i ke he saw i t  but he was right." "I knew really nothing about life or death until I got to know Walt." "And, boy, d i d I I ea rn." ""And I hanna leave my house to the church  because Dorothy would've liked it. "" "Now, which brings us to our last item, a nd ag ai n  please excuse the language i n M r." "Kow al s ki ' s w i I I." "1' m simply reading it the way it was written." ""And I'd like to leave my 1 972 Gran Torino to my f fiend  T hao Va ng Lo r  o n t he co nd i ti o n that you don't chop-top the roof like one of those beaners  d o n ' t pai nt a ny i d i oti c f I a m es o n i t like some white-trash hillbilly  a nd d o n ' t p ut a bi g, g ay s poi I e r on the rear end like you see on all the other zipperheads' cars." "I t j ust I oo ks I i ke hel I." "If you can ref rain f rom doing any of that, it's yours. ""