"A fantastic egg." "The outside is crisp, approaching a firm texture." "Inside, however, it pulses almost life-affirmingly." "That's perfection." "And the weather?" "Something's brewing." "A storm?" "I'm afraid so." "Let's hope our guest finds his way." "He will." "A guest?" "Come in, come in!" "Nice to meet you." "Glad you made it." "Let me show you your room." "Voilà!" "Come in." "Don't be afraid!" "Splendid, isn't it?" "Slightly spartan." "No window." "Nature's right on the doorstep." "Didn't the ad mention a lakeview?" "I don't think so." "But no light can get in." "Nor can it get out!" "You wanted quiet, didn't you?" "Yes." "Here you have it." "Here, you can focus on your work." "Rent in advance, please." "Of course." "This is all I have, I'm afraid." "Don't worry." "You can help out a little around the house." "But first, I'll make you a nice footbath." "Great." "Welcome!" "Almost human again." "And the water will make a tasty soup." "Funny, indeed." "May I have another dumpling?" "But of course!" "Dumpling Napkin" "Tasty?" "It's from the region." "And you?" "From the city." "What brings you here?" "I need peace and solitude for my work." "Something scientific?" "Precisely!" "And it requires complete concentration." "What are you writing about?" "Do you know the Higgs particle?" "Not personally." "But it sounds most interesting." "Mama, I can't sleep." "You should be in bed." "I'm having nightmares." "Will you sing me a lullaby?" "Have you done your homework?" "I tried." "Excuse me." "That's your son?" "Yes, that's Klaus." "Why?" "Thank you." "Don't mind me, I'm just dipping into my library." "Your work?" "Something mathematical?" "Yes." "Astrological?" "Stars and such?" "You could put it like that." "I'm trying to connect different fields." "Something new." "If you ever need help, I've got diplomas, too." "Very kind." "Thank you." "I look forward to our exchange." "From one intellectual to another." "Me too." "Heinrich?" "Are you there?" "I've talked to Heinrich." "What did he say?" "He's worried." "Klaus isn't making progress." "Rome wasn't built in a day, either." "Be quiet." "From now on, the student shall take over Klaus' education." "What?" "But I'm his teacher!" "Make sure the student takes over the lessons." "You can focus on your other talents." "Ah, the student." "Do you like the water?" "Yes, it's nice and cold." "Pleased to hear that." "You seem to have quite an appetite." "Two servings last night, all those napkins..." "Do you always eat that much?" "Am I too greedy?" "No, not at all!" "But I have an idea for how you could settle your debts." "My debts?" "Look, normally I teach Klaus." "But as I have to run the household all by myself..." "It would really help us if you could teach our little one a thing or two." "For a scholar like you, it'll be a walk in the park." "Unfortunately, I have a lot to do and little time." "I guess I'll just control my appetite from now on." "Is everything all right?" "I'm fine." "Where's your son?" "What's he doing outside?" "Why isn't he at the table?" "Hello, Klaus!" "No!" "Don't speak to him, please!" "He's being punished, he's not progressing with his studies." "Klaus, once you do better, you can sit with us again." "Thank you, mama." "My husband lacks the time for both the chores and teaching." "Perhaps the skills, too." "I don't know what to do." "Without a proper education, Klaus is doomed." "Help him, just for a couple of hours." "Please!" "All right, I'll do it." "A bit of variety won't hurt me." "Thank you!" "You're a good boy." "Help yourself." "The soup is still hot." "Very, very hot." "Well..." "I'm entrusting you with our Klaus." "Klaus!" "Yes, daddy?" "Today, the student will teach you." "What?" "Why?" "Don't argue!" "We'll come at breaktime to check on his progress." "Make sure he's operational around the world." " If he isn't obedient..." "use the cane." "All right?" "So you're Klaus?" "Hello." "Great, let's get started." "What do you know about the global financial system, Klaus?" "It's huge." "Microcredits?" "They're tiny?" "Maybe I'll just read you something." "What do you think?" "And this is how Paul Volcker was succeeded by Alan Greenspan as chairman of the Federal Reserve." "Any questions?" "Yes, Klaus?" "What color was his coat on his first day of work?" "That's an interesting question, very interesting." "What else have you covered?" "Capital cities." "Great!" "Let's play a little guessing game." " Capital of France?" " Brussels." " No." "Capital of France?" " Moscow." " No." "Capital of France?" " Italy." " No." "Capital of France?" " Crete." " No." "Capital of France?" " Italy." " No!" "Capital of France?" " Paris." " No." "Yes!" " Capital of the USA?" " America." "No." "Capital of France?" "Atlantis." "You'll show my parents how well I'm doing, yes?" "But you haven't learned a thing." "Because you didn't teach me anything!" "Give me your hand." "What are you doing?" "Let's start with the capitals." "The capitals!" "Every educated person should know them." "Klaus!" "What's the capital of Norway?" "Oslo!" "The capital of South Africa?" "Pretoria!" "The capital of North Korea?" "Pyongyang." "Wait!" "Something's fishy, dear student!" "Klaus..." "What's the capital of..." "Turkmenistan?" "Ashgabat!" "Bravo!" "That's wonderful, darling." "You too." "Well done." "I'll get back to my work then." "Absolutely not." "You've achieved great things." "Finally, we have a real tutor." "Tutor?" "What reward would you like?" " Joke night!" " Yeah!" "Here, this is a good one." "A vacuum cleaner salesman comes to a farm, tips a bucket of dirt onto the floor and says:" ""Miss, every piece of dirt my vacuum cleaner won't get rid of" "I'll eat with a spoon."" ""Then you'd better get a spoon, we don't have electricity here, yet!"" "Does he have to eat dirt now?" "Daddy's funny." "The author uses the classic juxtaposition of urban technology and rural tradition." "A fantastic joke that plays with the archaic dualism of interior and exterior." "Where does the I end?" "Where does the You begin?" "That's genius." "That's humor of the highest order!" "Enough laughter for today." "Bedtime, Klaus." "Yes?" "Good night!" "Good night!" "Hang on!" "I've got another one." "A pig passes a plug socket and asks:" ""Hey buddy, who bricked you in like that?"" "You worked so hard today." "Your mama is proud of you." "But there's always room for improvement." "Right?" "Mama?" "Yes?" "I'm hungry." "Ask Heinrich." "Heinrich, may I have something to eat?" "Achievements are rewarded." "Feed the boy!" "Heidegger writes:" ""The nihilation of nothing happens in the being of being."" "Mister student?" "Yes?" "What's "being"?" ""Being", that's not easy to explain." "Basically, it's all that exists, except for being itself, of course." "Everything?" "Mhmm." "My mama?" "Yes." "And my daddy?" "Yes." "And me?" "You too, Klaus." "Mister student?" "What's "being"?" "Klaus, how old are you?" "Eight." "You look older." "I'm eight." "You've always been taught here?" "Always." "You've never been to another school?" "No, I'd be understimulated there." "After all, I'm gifted and destined to be president one day." "President?" "Yahoo!" "Klaus mentioned you have big plans for him." "Yes, president." "Isn't that a little ambitious?" "What do you mean?" "A lot of people want to be president." "Maybe Klaus isn't quite there, yet." "How impertinent of you." "That's an affront." "You insult us all!" "I didn't mean to be rude..." "You saw how well Klaus learned the capitals." "Right, the capitals." "But that's not enough to become president." "Have you considered that?" "Klaus, show the man what you're capable of." "Klaus..." "What's the capital of Nigeria?" "Mama..." "Mamachusetts?" "Mama..." "You have to excuse my wife." "She's very vulnerable these days." "Why?" "Stress, a number of things..." "You don't know what it's like to be a woman." "True." "What's it like?" "Not nice." "Difficult." "You know that?" "Yes." "How come?" "I read a lot." "What do you like to read?" "Einstein, physics, the quantum leap, the nature of relativity." "That kind of thing." "Take time for example." "If you are reading an exciting book, time passes very quickly." "If you're waiting at the doctor's, it passes slowly." "Excuse me, please." "You know, my son, it hurts me more than you." "I know, daddy." "When you're grown up, you may beat up others." "When will that be?" "One day, my son, one day." "That's cruel!" "That's education." "But it was my responsibility!" "Then stand by it." "We should really be punishing you." "I'm sorry, mama." "It's all right, my darling." "I can't focus on my work here." "Why don't you leave then?" "Do you love your mother?" "Yes..." "Klaus has to learn." "Otherwise he will be lost." "What should I do?" "He's a winner, not a loser." "Yes, Heinrich." "Sure, I will." "You are so superior to us humans." "I thank you!" "Who are you talking to?" "Heinrich." "Who's that?" "Heinrich is something very beautiful." "Beautiful and majestic - unlike any other." "I was very little when Heinrich came to me for the first time." "He had travelled from afar, the leader of a highly developed civilisation from another galaxy." "From then on, he visited every night." "We were happy, we were close." "For quite a while." "Then Heinrich got sick." "He moved in with me." "And with him, his people." "Look." "If you're lucky, Heinrich will speak to you, too." "Try it." "Come on." "Come." "Don't be afraid." "How beautiful you are." "So beautiful." "Start afresh with Klaus." "Help him." "And I will help you." "Capital of the USA?" "Heidelberg?" "No." "Capital of Greece?" "Brussels." "No!" "This is useless." "Completely useless!" "Capital of Russia?" "Prague?" "No." "Klaus." "The capital of France?" "New York?" "Paris?" "Correct!" "Capital of Russia?" "Moscow!" "Well done, Klaus." "Capital of China?" "Mama, daddy!" "I think I know the capitals now." "Then shoot!" "Afghanistan:" "Kabul." "Egypt:" "Cairo." "Andorra:" "Andorra." "Angola:" "Luanda." "Australia:" "Canberra." "Azerbaijan:" "Baku." "Algeria:" "Algiers." "China:" "Beijing." "Georgia:" "Tbilsi." "Greece:" "Athens." "Mauritius:" "Port Louis." "Singapore:" "Singapore." "And Cyprus:" "Nicosia." "Come here, my son!" "Sit down." "I'm proud of you!" "And I only hurt four fingers!" "Never mind, you still have the fifth one." "Knowledge is the explosion of curiosity!" "Knowledge is the light in the darkness!" "Knowledge elevates us from barbarians to enlightened minds!" "Klaus, I must admit, is on the right track." "With the necessary discipline the professor has led our son to the highway of success." "Sometimes, we have to adjust our principles to reality." "Capital of Ethiopia?" "Addis Ababa." "Bravo!" "Soon, you'll move into the White House." "Cheers to that!" "To our professor!" "Klaus?" "That's all for today." "Too fortissimo?" "What?" "No." "Klaus?" "Are you all right?" "You look pale." "I'm fine." "We could do something else for a change." "Play a game?" "Play?" "What's that?" "You don't know what playing is?" "You've never played before?" "That's playing?" "Klaus, it's playing when you throw the sponge back." "But mama said..." "Klaus, pick up the sponge." "Come on!" "Klaus, throw the sponge!" "I like playing." "I think that's enough." "Can't I stay up a little longer?" "As you wish." "See you later." "What do you get when you cross a woman with an octopus?" "I don't know but it sure knows how to knit." "Klaus?" "Klaus!" "What are you doing?" "Come here." "Good." "That's better." "Wonderful!" "You look beautiful." "So happy." "Come here." "Come." "Mama!" "Mama, I don't want to cuddle." "What's the matter?" "Are you sick?" "Do you have a fever?" "No." "I just don't want to cuddle." "You're lying." "And liars don't become presidents." "What's the matter, Klaus?" "We weren't learning." "We were playing." "Playing?" "Mama?" "Heinrich..." "I need your advice." "What do you want?" "Klaus is acting strangely." "What should I do?" "Can't you see Klaus is being manipulated, you stupid fool?" "If the student carries on this way, he'll take Klaus away from us." "Do you want Klaus to leave you?" "Do you want me to leave you?" "I don't want Klaus to leave me." "We'll do everything you say." "The student must leave!" "You're right..." "The student must leave..." "Hello, am I disturbing you?" "Yes, I, well..." "Will you write in my friendship book?" "All right, leave it there." "Here?" "Is that your work?" "Yes." "Something's missing." "The last component." "What's missing?" "Hey..." "Can I sleep in your room tonight?" "Klaus..." "The bed is far too small." "Please!" "I get nightmares." "All right." "Thank you!" "Do you know what day it is tomorrow?" "Monday?" "Tomorrow is my birthday." "There's going to be a huge party." "Are you coming?" "I think so." "Great." "I'm so excited." "It's going to be the best day of my life." "Good night, Klaus." "Good night, student." "Happy Birthday, Klaus!" "We have gathered here today, dear Klaus, to wish you a happy birthday." "Thank you, mama." "It's a special moment for you too, my dear professor." "We are letting you go into your well-earned retirement." "Without you, Klaus wouldn't be where he is today." "Your work is done, your debt settled." "All the best for the future." "Retirement?" "Does he have to go?" "But my work..." "I'm not finished, yet." "You can't just send me away!" "You and your work!" "It's party time!" "Do you have to go now?" "I'm sorry, Klaus." "Come on everybody, let's dance!" "I don't want you to go!" "You too, mister student, dance!" "I don't want to dance!" "DIPLOMA "The student"" "Come on, mister student!" "Let's go, come on!" "Dance!" "Spin around, round and round!" "Spin around!" "Faster and faster!" "You too!" "Come on, dance!" "Why won't you dance!" "Don't be such a grinch!" "Come on!" "You sick fool!" "Klaus?" "Klaus!" "Get out of here!" "It's all your fault!" "My best friend" "Klaus?" "Klaus!" "Klaus!" "Mama?" "Sleep!" "Aha!" "The student!" "Where are you heading?" "Let me through." "Through like a stew?" "Let me through!" "Through..." "Through..." "like a stew." "Klaus..." "I was so close." "I almost had it." "What?" "The theory..." " The theory of..." " Shhhh..." "Don't worry anymore." "Klaus?" "You're feeling better." "Good." "Sit with me." "Mama, I'm leaving." "What are you talking about?" "You can't say something like that to your mother." "Goodbye, mama!" "Stay here!" "Ow!" "My leg!" "Stay here!" "Stay..."