"Hi, I'm Bonnie and I'm an alcoholic." "Hi, Bonnie." "I know I sound like a broken record, but I really miss my boyfriend." "Marjorie, do me a favor, after the meeting, tell everybody what a record is." "Anyway... he and I tried to do the Skype thing, but I can just feel it slipping away, so right now, I'm just about as low as I've ever been." "There's really only one thing that's bringing me any joy at all." "This cream filling." "And without a boyfriend, it's the only cream filling I'm getting." "Thank you." "Anybody want to follow that?" "What the hell." "Christy, alcoholic." "Hi, Christy." "I know I'm usually all doom and gloom, but not today." "Today I am cheerful, not fearful." "Happy, not crappy." " Delighted, not..." " We get it." "We get it." "I officially got accepted into Sonoma State University." "Go Seawolves." "So, starting this fall," "I will be one step closer to my dream of becoming a lawyer." "But wait, there's more." "My daughter's getting married in a few weeks, and, get this, she doesn't have to get married, she's doing it by choice." "That's a family first." "Of course, I did drop four grand on her wedding dress, and I will probably have to rob a bank to pay my tuition, but I refuse to let money worries ruin my good mood." "That's what my mom is for." "Who else would like to go?" "I'll go." "Hi, I'm Jill, I'm an alcoholic." " What are you doing?" " I'm sorry, it's all I got." "Mmm." "Mm." "I hope you're aware you're eating your feelings." "Hey, I got to put something in my mouth." "My boyfriend's in Croatia." "Nice, Mom." "Classy." "No, no, they don't make French fries for happy people." "Violet." "What's going on?" "Are you okay?" "No!" "Aw, what happened?" "Gregory broke up with me." "The wedding is off." "Oh, my God." "Would it be okay if I moved back in with you?" "Now you may have a fry." "So what did the bastard do?" "We don't know that he's a bastard." "He's seeing someone else." "That bastard." "What tipped you off?" "Does he come home, take a shower, then go straight to bed, too tired for sex 'cause he had a rough day at work?" "Mom, this isn't about what men have done to you." "I'm talking about what I've done to men." "Has he lost weight lately?" "Did he join a gym?" "Yeah, he has." "Teeth whitening strips or did he go to the dentist?" "He went to the dentist!" "Oh, honey." "I'm so sorry." "Wait, before we bury this relationship, have you and Gregory talked about going and seeing a therapist?" "Mom, he doesn't love me anymore." "Just let it go!" "How much did you spend on the wedding dress?" "Shut up." " How much time do we have?" " Not a lot." "Let's just grab her stuff and get out." "What about those big potted plants in the lobby?" "We're not here to just randomly steal things." "Then why'd you bring me?" "Hello?" "Gregory?" "We're good." "You get Violet's clothes, I'll get the rest of her stuff." "Got it." " Christy?" "Are we just gonna get her" " Yeah?" "things, or are we gonna go all helter-skelter on the joint?" "Just getting her things." "We'll revisit it on the way out." "Does Violet drink espresso?" "I don't know, maybe." "Then this is probably hers." "You're eating his food?" "May I remind you that cheating son of a bitch broke your daughter's heart." "Clear out the fridge." "I feel like we hit the jackpot at Bed, Bath and Beyond." "You think that's Violet's giant flat screen TV?" "It's bigger than ours, so yes." "Oh." "Hello." "Phyllis, hi." "We didn't expect to see you here." "Yeah, I get that from the looting." "We're just getting my daughter's things." "And some of my son's." "I gave him that espresso machine." "Oh." "Sorry, it looks just like the one we gave Violet." "Okay, we're just gonna take this stuff out to the car, and then I'll come back for the rest of Violet's clothes." "I'm sorry things didn't work out." "Yeah, me too, but what are you gonna do?" "Your son met someone else." "What?" "Please." "My Gregory with two women at the same time?" "Two donuts, maybe." "That's what Violet said." "Are you saying my daughter lied to me?" "Yeah." "Or maybe you raised a scumbag of a son." "Oh, now he's a scumbag?" "You really don't have a second gear, do you?" "Well, what did Gregory tell you?" "My son, who has never lied to me, told me that Violet has been drinking a lot and doing the pot and the ecstasy." "Okay, first of all, there's no "the" in front of pot and ecstasy." "You would know." "And I think I would know if Violet had a problem." "You sure about that?" "You know what, Phyllis?" "I've got a daughter at home crying her eyes out." "I am not gonna stand here and argue with you." " I'll stay." " Come on!" "Screw her, blaming Violet." "Well, wait till she realizes she's having mustard for dinner." "And we're taking those plants." "I said I'd know if Violet had a problem with drugs and alcohol, but the more I think about it, I'm not sure." "Oh, come on." "Are you gonna listen to Mahjong Sally?" "Why would she lie?" "Well, she's just repeating what Gregory told her." "We're just repeating what Violet told us." "So, who you gonna believe?" "I want to believe my daughter, but, you know, when has that ever worked out?" " Mom?" " In the kitchen." "This might get heavy." "Will it bother you if I make popcorn?" " Did you get all my stuff?" " It's on the sofa." "And in the fridge." "You didn't happen to see Gregory, did you?" "No, but we ran into his mother." "Really?" "What'd she say?" "Well, she kind of had a different take on things." "What does that mean?" "She said that the reason you and Gregory broke up was because... you've been partying a lot." "And you believed her?" "No, but I think it's worth having a conversation." "Why don't you ever take my side?" "You always think the worst." "Well, then tell me otherwise." "Tell me you're not getting loaded." "I shouldn't have to." "I think you should just trust me." " I do, it's just..." " I am in college, Mom." "I go out with my friends, we have drinks." "Occasionally, we'll smoke a little bit of pot." "We are not all drunks and drug addicts like you two!" "Hey!" "I only did drugs to manage my alcoholism." "So what do you think?" "I don't know." "I want to believe her." " But do you?" "I asked you first." " Do you?" "If I'm gonna be honest, I'm worried." "Think we should ask her to go to an AA meeting with us?" "Be kind of cool." "We'd have our own row." "Yeah." "Nothing cooler than that." "My question is, how do I tell the difference between a full-blown alcoholic, and a normal college student who's just having fun?" "That's a tough one." "It's like kids today use college as an excuse to stay drunk all the time." "It's not just today." "When I went to San Diego State, my sorority had vodka on tap." "Best seven years of my life." "Do you remember jungle juice?" "Oh, yeah." "Kool-Aid, fruit and grain alcohol all mixed together in a giant trash can." "I remember one time I was drinking that stuff at a frat party, and I puked through the screen door." "The juice went outside, and the chunks of fruit stayed in the kitchen with me." "This is not making me feel better." "Well, hang on." "A lot of my college roommates partied just as much as I did, and they don't have a problem." "Other than being in loveless marriages with ugly children." "Christy, I know it's painful because it's your kid, but nothing changes the fact that this is a self-diagnosed disease." "So I'm just supposed to do nothing?" " You can pray for her." " So nothing." "Ooh, you know what was another great college drink?" "Vodka and Tang." "Oh, I loved those." "The screwdriver the astronauts drank." "Okay, the point is only Violet can say if she has a problem, and if that day ever does come, at least she has a sober mom who'll know how to help." " And grandmother." " Sure." "It's 2:00 a.m. What are you doing?" "Prepping some ribs." "Want a slab?" "No." "What's going on?" "I was having phone sex with Adam, and lost the connection right before I..." "Anyway, I'm making spicy and mild." "Take your pick." "I'm gonna gain so much weight 'cause your boyfriend's out of town." "What are you doing up?" "I couldn't sleep." "I kept listening for Violet to come in." "Ooh, I forgot about her." "That could have been awkward." "It's so weird having her back in the house." "I mean, I know she's not a kid anymore, but I still worry like she is." "Mmm, I know how you feel." "When you were her age and staying out all night, I was a nervous wreck." " You used to wait up for me?" " Of course." "I mean, I had a little help from the old Peruvian marching powder, but, uh, that only added to the paranoia." "For a while there, I was convinced the CIA had replaced you with a clone." "How do you know they didn't, Mom?" "Don't do that." "Oh, God, this can't be good." "Hello?" "Who?" "Oh, Phyllis." "What's wrong?" " Oh, no." " What?" "Violet showed up at Gregory's drunk off her ass." "Phyllis, I am so sorry." "We'll be right there." "Okay." "She's alive." " What do you want to do?" " Kill her." "Just let me get these ribs in the oven, and I'll drive." "I'm so sorry about this." "Yeah, well, what are you gonna do, you know?" "The joys of parenthood." "Really?" "Curlers?" "Forgive me." "I didn't know I'd be entertaining." "Where is Violet?" "Last I looked, she was puking in the toilet I cleaned just this afternoon." "I got this." "I'd offer you something to eat, but there's nothing in my refrigerator!" "Oh, yeah, sorry about that." "Where's Gregory?" "Well, he was pretty upset about the relationship falling apart, so he and a couple of friends went to Mexico to catch fish and maybe chlamydia." "Did Violet happen to mention why she showed up here in the middle of the night?" "Between the booze and the crying, she wasn't making a lot of sense, but I think she's still in love." "Oh." "My poor baby." "Yeah." "It's very sad." "You know, some very fashionable women still use curlers." "Very colorful." "What is that, Jell-O shots?" "Yeah." "See, your old grandma knows what the kids are drinking." "Are you gonna tell me I'm an alcoholic?" "Nope, that's up to you to decide." "I will tell you you have vomit in your hair, so you can draw your own conclusions." "I just miss Gregory." "I get it." "We're having pork ribs for breakfast because I miss Adam." "Ribs?" "That's okay." "More for me." "I always thought if I got her through her teen years, it would get easy." "You know when it gets easy being a mother?" "When you're dead." "And even then, you might worry a little." "I owe you an apology." "I know that Gregory wasn't cheating on Violet." "You don't have to apologize." "We all want to believe our own child." "I just can't help feeling like it's my fault." "I drank, and now Violet drinks." "Do you blame your mother 'cause you drank?" "I used to." "Not anymore." "Then why don't you give yourself a break with Violet?" "Yeah, maybe." "Besides, if it's always the parents' fault, then I have to be responsible every time my son behaves like a pompous schmuck." ""A pompous schmuck"?" "I say it with love." "Well, I always liked Gregory." "I mean, I had my doubts about their relationship, but..." "I liked it that Violet had someone to take care of her." "She still has someone to take care of her." "Oy." "Oy, indeed." "I think she's empty." "Let's get you home." " Thank you, Phyllis." " Yeah, I'd say anytime, except I think once is enough." "You know, even though the wedding's off, doesn't mean we can't be friends." "Aw, you really need a mom, don't you?" "So bad." "Hey." "I'm standing right here." "Call me." "Look at her." "Just a few days ago, she was someone else's problem." "Hey, that's your daughter." "She's not a problem, she's a burden." "Good point." "You can solve a problem." "I still don't know if she's one of us." " I'm thinking not." " Why?" "God doesn't tell the same joke three times in a row." "Boy, I hope not." "Give her time." "She'll settle down." "And if she doesn't, she knows where to go." "I guess." "Hey, Mom," "I'm sorry for all those nights I made you wait up for me." "Thank you." "I always thought I wasn't hurting anybody but myself." "Well, the important thing is we have each other now." "Mm." "This hug would mean more if you stopped chewing." "_" "Who's there?" "!" "It's me." "Open the door." "Who's "me"?" "Christy." "Your daughter." "How do I know it's really you?" "Who else would it be?" "Someone the government wants me to think is you." "Oh, come on." "Why would they do that?" "Because they know I know what they know." "Now go away, or I'll set my dog on you." " We don't have a dog." " Yes, we do." "Rex, down!" "You've already killed once today." "You know what, I'm just gonna go sleep in the car." "You do that." "Rex, get off the couch." "Who's there?" "!"