"NOBBY:" "One, two, three." "Push." "But, Dad, I'm out of breath." "Yeah, well, I told you not to smoke." "I thought you just meant crack." "No, I meant cigarettes too." "At your age, you should just be vaping." "Push." "Where's Mum?" "She's still in the furniture store." "Hey, Dad, let's put it in here." "No." "That is me brother's room." "But, Dad, he's been missing for 28 years." "We need the room." "There's nine of us." "No." "I'm keeping it the way he likes it." "Though when he comes back, I will have to break it to him that some of his childhood heroes didn't love women as much as we thought they did." "And one of them liked them a little too much." "BOY:" "Dad, you're never gonna find him." "You might as well just give up." "Give up?" "I know he's out there somewhere." "And one day, he's gonna join our family again." "Green Earth." "[¶¶¶]" "WOMAN:" "Agent Graves, your feed is live." "The target is Maelstrom's second in command." "He has information we must extract." "Captureandinterrogate." "Donotterminate." "Interception in nine, eight, seven,six, five, four, three,two,one." "[GRUNTS]" "Eyesonthetarget." "Easy." "Eyeson thetarget." "Beadvised, multiplehostilesto theeast." "[SCREAMS]" "Targetmobile." "[GRUNTS]" "Targetheadingnorth." "[HORNS HONKING] [GRUNTING]" "[ENGINE REVVING] Alpha 1's now Bravo 1." "He's mobile." "Rogerthat." "Out of the way." "Move, move, move." "May I borrow this?" "Thank you." "Now complete on Bravo 1, following Bravo 1." "Alpha 1 now on Foxtrot." "I'm in pursuit." "MAN:" "Hostilestoyoursouth, advancingonyourposition." "Bravo1 isnowmobile." "Hehasbackup." "End pursuitnow." "I'd rather not." "Come on." "My gun!" "Commander,relayback." "Wearenownearingthelimit  oflivefeedtransmission." "[GRUNTING]" "Hello, chaps." "Permissiontoabortnow ." "Commander,acknowledge." "[ALL GRUNTING]" "Goodbye." "Buckle up!" "[GRUNTING]" "Lonomiacaterpillartoxin's entered your bloodstream, Mr. Beder." "You have 90 seconds until heart failure." "I do, however, have the antidote here." "Perhaps you'd like to tell me what your friends at the Maelstrom Syndicate are planning." "Sixty seconds." "Rhonda George." "An assassination." "Rhonda George?" "WOMAN:" "She's the actress and philanthropist." "She's hosting an event for WorldCure in two days, sir." "Give me the antidote." "It's too late, I'm afraid." "I want you at this event, Sebastian." "Very wise, Commander Ledford." "[¶¶¶]" "Welbeck'stouch." "Rooney'stheretoo." "NowCarrick,here'sBaines." "Oh,he'sfree." "[ALL CHEER]" "Englandareheading tothesemis, tothedelight ofmillionsat home!" "Hey, everyone." "Let's celebrate responsibly." "[ALL CHEER]" "¶I getknockeddown ButI getup again¶" "¶You'renevergonna Keepmedown¶" "¶I getknockeddown ButI getup again¶" "¶You'renevergonna Keepmedown¶" "¶Hedrinksawhiskeydrink  Hedrinksavodkadrink¶" "¶Hedrinksalagerdrink  Hedrinksaciderdrink¶" "¶Hesingsthe songs Thatremindhim¶" "¶Ofthegoodtimes¶" "¶Hesingsthe songs Thatremindhim¶" "¶Ofthebettertimes¶ [PATRONS CHEER]" "¶I getknockeddown ButI getup again¶" "¶You'renevergonna Keepmedown¶" "¶I getknockeddown ButI getup again¶" "ALL:" "Oh!" "MAN:" "Can't believe it's happened again." "Get it out." "Get it out." "Get it out." "Get out." "He's gonna blow!" "Out the way, ladies." "I've got the fire extinguisher." "Thank the Lord." "[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]" "Where's Nobby?" "Where is he?" "Where's Nobby?" "Nobby!" "Nobby." "Nobby, Nobby." "[PANTING]" "Why are you so out of breath?" "I've run all the way from home." "But you only live across the street." "Do you remember me cousin, Digger?" "What, the thief?" "Yeah." "Well, he was nicking coats at a posh event the other night, and you'll never guess who he saw." "Who?" "We finally found him." "We finally found your brother." "[¶¶¶]" "MAN:" "NobbyandSebastianButcher." "BOY:" "We'retheButcherBoys ofGrimsby." "They'llneversplitusup." "Forever!" "Forever!" "Yourbrotheris gonnabe ata fancypartytomorrow." "NOBBY:" "ButhowwillIgetin?" "MAN:" "Mecousin'snickedyou  aticket." "REPORTER:" "Leaders from around the world, suchastheheadof theWorldHealthOrganization" "Javier Alvarez and celebrities, includingDanielRadcliffe, havegatheredat this WorldCureevent, sponsoredbyphilanthropist, RhondaGeorge." "Green Earth." "[COMPUTERIZED BEEPING]" "Agent Graves, yourfeedis live." "Who's this in my ear?" "It'sme." "Andstopflirting." "We'reonan openchannel." "Right." "[METAL DETECTORS BEEPING]" "How much?" "Complimentary, sir." "How now?" "Hi." "Have you seen me brother?" "He's called Sebastian." "Here's a photo of him." "It was taken a few years ago." "Areyouin positionyet , AgentGraves?" "[¶¶¶]" "Uh-oh." "Come on." "It's stuck." "[SPITS]" "Come on." "MAN:" "Please welcome Rhonda George." "[APPLAUSE]" "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen." "Thank you." "When I started WorldCure, people would constantly say to me:" ""You cannot rid the world of disease."" "I would look them straight in the eye and say, "Yes, I can."" "[APPLAUSE]" "Can you detect any imminent threat, Graves?" "RHONDA:" "We are gonna figure this out." "And it all starts right here, right now, with one little boy." "His name is Schlomo Khalidi." "Ladies and gentlemen, we will cure the world." "[APPLAUSE]" "Mummy was Jewish." "Daddy was Palestinian." "But they both loved each other so very much." "I was born with HIV." "Now I am very sick with AIDS." "NOBBY:" "Yes!" "Fantastic!" "You are not coming back from that!" "WOMAN:" "Shh!" "[INDISTINCT MURMURING]" "SCHLOMO:" "Though this disease may kill me..." "The operator." "...why can't we stop killing each other in the Middle East?" "Where's the operator?" "The camera's a gun." "[¶¶¶]" "Damn." "The camera's a gun!" "[BEEPING]" "[SCREAMS]" "Who are you?" "It's me." "Nobby." "Nobby?" "¶Oh,my brother¶" "¶Whereyoubeen?" "¶" "¶ It's been the longest time ¶" "¶Apart¶" "¶AndIrememberdays  Wewererunningfree¶" "[INAUDIBLEDIALOGUE]" "¶Longbefore Youbrokemy--¶" "[ALL SCREAMING]" "What the hell just happened?" "The head of the World Health Organization's been shot." "Locate the shooter!" "Locate the shooter!" "There's the shooter!" "Tiger Tail." "Undercover." "My shot was compromised." "Take him out!" "Sir, we have confirmation." "Graves took the shot." "Graves?" "[¶¶¶]" "Ow!" "NOBBY:" "Cut it out." "Leave him alone." "Behind you!" "How can I help?" "You can stay away from me." "You need me help." "Fucking twat." "[POLICE SIRENS BLARING]" "[¶¶¶]" "Goodbye, Nobby." "Don't worry." "I won't leave you!" "[GLASS SHATTERS] Aah!" "Aah!" "My ankle!" "Me bottle." "Get off me!" "Come on." "The ankle's shattered." "You'll need to carry me." "Come on." "Get over me shoulder." "[GRUNTS]" "Sorry." "Get in." "Hey!" "Move away from the car." "Soon as I've printed your ticket." "Come on." "You'll have to drive." "Move." "Not that one!" "What happened?" "Never mind." "Just get going." "[GUNSHOTS]" "Come on, it's dangerous!" "Get out of the car now!" "Don't worry." "It's bulletproof." "You can't hurt us." "No." "We've got bulletproof glass." "Aah!" "Roll it up!" "Roll it up!" "Just go." "Now." "[TIRES SCREECH]" "[¶¶¶]" "Oh, great." "We can watch the match while escaping." "Watch out!" "Aah!" "[BOTH SCREAMING]" "ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]:" "He'sgonnatakethe penalty." "There's a penalty." "Nobby, forget the football." "You're gonna drown." "I'm getting out after he's taken penalty." "Listen to me." "Miss it!" "Take a breath." "Andhe..." "Fuck!" "[¶¶¶]" "REPORTER:" "DirectorGeneralof  theWorldHealthOrganization," "Dr.JavierAlvarez, isdead." "Hewascaught inthecrossfire ofanapparent assassinationattempt onphilanthropist RhondaGeorge." "Ahugemanhuntisunderway tofindaroguesecretagent  whofirstshotMiddleEast  peacesymbol" "SchlomoKhalidi." "Theboy'sAIDS-taintedblood thensprayedintothe mouth ofHarryPotterstar DanielRadcliffe." "Sourcestellus  thatRadcliffe, whohadnumerousopensores inhismouth, hastestedpositivefor HIV ." "We're digging into his background now, sir." "Trying to work out how Maelstrom could've got to him." "What do you want us to do, sir?" "Activate Chilcott." "Chilcott was dismissed for good reason, sir." "Activate Chilcott." "NOBBY:" "Isn't life strange?" "I mean, yesterday I'm having a normal day down the pub with me mates with a firework up me ass." "And here we are now, with me brother, doing some running and swimming, all different types of cardio." "Can I ask you a question?" "Are you a Vin Diesel impersonator?" "Or are you a hit man who specializes in kids with AIDS?" "What?" "I'm a secret agent, I work for an offshoot of MI6." "How could you not tell your own brother what you do?" "Because within the title of my occupation is the word "secret."" "But if you can't trust family, who can you trust?" "Trust you?" "Trust you?" "Because of you, the head of the World Health Organization is dead and Harry Potter has AIDS." "You managed to do in three seconds what Voldemort failed to do in eight movies." "Don't wet your knickers." "It's treatable." "Ooh, heroin." "That stuff's addictive." "It's a gateway drug." "To what?" "To more heroin." "This is not heroin, this is rapid bone calcifier." "It fills the fractures in my ankle, hardens the bone and muscle around it so that I can walk." "Why, what happened to your ankle?" "You fell on it." "[CELL PHONE RINGING]" "Hello." "SEBASTIAN:" "Ididn'tdo it ." "Ineedyourhelp." "If I help you, I'll be arrested." "If you don't, I could be dead by the end of the day." "All right, listen." "Ledford activated someone called Chil-something." "That's all I know." "Chilcott?" "Oh, Jesus, he's a psychopath." "That's a kill order." "Oh, God." "Jodie, I need you to do something for me." "I need you to find out the identity of the man who killed Javier Alvarez." "IfI canfindhim , itwillclearmyname ." "Canyoudo that?" "I'll try." "Seb, can I press this red button?" "Aah!" "God's sake." "What?" "You just implanted a tracking device in my neck!" "At least I won't lose you for another 28 years." "I forgot to mention, I got you a present." "What?" "Two tickets for me and you to go to Chile to see England play in the final." "How do you know if England are gonna be in the final?" "Well, they'd better be because I just got this done." "England, World "Championes," 2016." "That says 200,016." "No, it says 2016." "That's 198,000 years from now." "In that case, I got two zeroes for free, so who's the idiot?" "What are you doing?" "I need to disappear." "There are people looking for me." "You won't see me again." "Good luck, Nobby." "Yeah." "Okay." "No, no, you're right." "I should" " I should be heading back home anyway." "Got to see the family." "It's good to reconnect." "Take care, eh?" "Take care." "Wait." "Since you're a spy, does that mean no one knows I'm your brother?" "Exactly." "Well, then, I've got the perfect place for you to hide." "Oh, no." "[¶¶¶]" "NOBBY:" "Oh, it's so good to have you back in Grimsby." "You probably don't recognize it since it were gentrified." "SEBASTIAN:" "I am not from Grimsby." "Hiya." "ALL:" "Hiya." "I've got a girlfriend." "It's nothing serious." "But she's fit as fuck, so hands to yourself." "Go on." "Shoes off." "[LAUGHS] Hey." "Missed you, Dad." "Missed you too." "Was I not clear when I said I needed a secure location?" "This place is totally secure." "Although I don't know who she is." "I'm just being hilarious." "That's our Britney." "You want a cup of tea?" "There's a kebab." "You can have anything you want there." "It's a kitchen, fully stocked." "¶Kyle'smom'sabitch She'sa bigfatbitch¶" "¶She'sthebiggestbitch Inthewholewideworld¶" "¶She'sastupidbitch Ifthereeverwas abitch¶" "¶She'sabitch Toalltheboysandgirls ¶" "Shutyourfuckingmouth, Cartman!" "And this is our new babby, Django Unchained." "Hey, Dad." "SEBASTIAN:" "Who's that?" "NOBBY:" "That's me oldest son, Skeletor." "Hiya." "Hey!" "SEBASTIAN:" "What's that, another son?" "Don't be daft." "That's our grandson, Gangnam Style." "Hiya." "ALL:" "Hi, Dad." "NOBBY:" "And this here is Luke." "We call him that because he's got leukemia." "I'm so sorry." "He doesn't really." "We just shave his head so we can claim the welfare for it." "What?" "You know what?" "You're looking at a gold mine up there." "This tragedy can turn into 65 pound 40 a week." "All right, chemistry class is over." "Time for biology." "TV NARRATOR:" "Atitsmaximum, themother'suterus expandsto25 cubicfeet." "Who's this?" "Who's that?" "The other bald man." "Who's this?" "Jason." "He's Jason." "I'm Jason." "I've got 11 kids." "Not easy to remember them all." "Aah!" "His name is not Sebastian, and that's all you need to know." "What the fuck are you on about, Dad?" "It's Uncle Coddy." "Give us a hug." "JASON:" "I can't believe it's you." "Welcome back to Grimsby." "They're your family." "Those are your nephews and nieces." "How do they know who I am?" "I might've mentioned you couple of times over the years." ""Couple of times"?" "I'll show him your wall, Dad." "There's you as a kid." "Leg it!" "You little bastards." "Give me back me ball!" "Fuck off." "Nobby." "Pass us the ball." "Come on." "Pass it." "He's gonna score." "England's gonna win the final." "Nobby, shoot!" "Oh..." "Morning, officer." "Nobby and Sebastian Butcher." "We were trying to return that beautiful ball to its rightful owner." "It's not about the ball, lads." "[¶¶¶]" "Look, Seb." "That's the couple that's adopting us." "They're from London." "You're coming with me." "Right, Nobby?" "Of course." "I'd never leave my little brother." "[SNIFFLES]" "It's all right to be sad." "But it's not all right to stand there and whinge like a low mopey bastard." "Who are we?" "Come on, say it." "We're Butcher Boys of Grimsby." "I didn't hear you." "Say it again." "We're the fucking Butcher Boys of Grimsby." "They'll never split us up." "Forever!" "Forever!" "Anyway, your uncle don't want to look at pictures of me and him all day, do you?" "No." "What?" "No." "All right." "Come on." "Let's take a look at me travel photos of London." "Come on, everyone." "Come on, squeeze up, squeeze up." "This is the Norfolk Arms." "This is the Dog and Duck." "This is the Three Crowns." "And this is Charing Cross police station." "Fucking pigs." "NOBBY:" "This is me with some free booze." "And this is me with me finger up an African boy's ass." "Wait a minute." "Go back." "Let me see." "It's the assassin." "Listen, London were fab." "But I missed you lot." "Missed you too." "Missed you too, Dad." "[CELL PHONE RINGING]" "Answer it." "Yes, sir." "Hello?" "SEBASTIAN:" "Ledford'swatchingyou, isn'the?" "Say," Hi,Daddy."" "Hi, Daddy." "Aww." "Checkyoure-mail." "Findoutwhothatis." "You'll have to access the global facial recognition grid." "And how am I going to do that?" "Figure it out." "Hiya." "That the love of me life, Dawny?" "Is that my darling Nobby?" "I'm back." "I missed you so much." "Me too." "All right, kids." "Out." "Now." "Out." "Listen to your mum." "Out quick." "I got something very important that I need to tell your dad." "What is it?" "[WHISPERS] I lost me panties." "You sure your ass hasn't eaten them again?" "No, you daft twat." "I didn't put any on." "[LAUGHS]" "Ooh, I'm getting stiffer than a pedophile at Legoland." "Oh, look." "I'm exactly like" "Sharon Stallone in Basic Instincts." "[FARTS]" "Don't worry." "That didn't come out me bum." "Oh." "[FARTING]" "That one did." "No problem." "Get over here." "I know you must be gagging for it." "All right." "Come here, Nobby." "Hey." "What?" "I'm hungry for a Grimsby breakfast." "Well, the buffet's open." "I'll need a table for one." "It's all-you-can-eat." "See you in about 60 minutes." "Get going." "Ahem, Nobby." "Oh." "That's me darts partner, um..." "Ben Kingsley." "Nobby, what do you take me for?" "I know who that is." "That's your brother." "Where the fuck you been all these years?" "I've been busy." "Congratulations, by the way." "When are you due?" "Oh, I'm not pregnant." "I'm just fucking fat." "Nobby." "NOBBY:" "What?" "It's imperative no one know that I'm here." "You need somewhere isolated where there's no one around?" "Exactly." "All right." "I know just the place." "It's just this way, past the train station." "MAN [OVER PA]:" "Allaboardthe915 , GrimsbytoLondon." "In you go." "Do you think our new parents will let us sleep in the same room?" "If we have bunk beds, can I have the top?" "You can have the top, little man." "[HICCUPS]" "Go and have a pee now before the other passengers do." "Okay, bruv." "And Sebastian..." "What is it?" "Nothing." "[WHISTLE BLOWING]" "[TRAIN HORN BLARES]" "Nobby?" "Nobby?" "Nobby?" "Nobby?" "Nobby?" "Nobby?" "Have you seen me brother, Nobby?" "Nobby, where are you?" "Nobby!" "No!" "Nobby!" "Come back!" "Come back, Nobby!" "Sebbo." "Come on." "I know." "It's great to be back, isn't it?" "Here we go." "Just in here." "You sure this location is secure?" "Relax." "Trust your brother." "[SIGHS]" "ALL:" "Surprise!" "[GUNFIRE]" "No, no!" "Seb!" "Come on, no." "No, they're our folk." "Welcome home." "Nobody's supposed to know I'm here." "No one does know you're here." "These people know I'm here." "Do you know he's here?" "ALL:" "No!" "We are here." "LEDFORD:" "Goodwork,Chilcott." "Howdidyoufindhim?" "Let's just call it professional intuition." "What's that smell?" "That's me." "Milky Pimms." "Oh." "I work our docks." "We transport cod all over the world." "Fascinating." "Can I help you?" "Chilcott." "Move." "What is it?" "SEBASTIAN:" "Oh, God, I'm cornered." "I should never have come here alone." "You're never alone in Grimsby, bruv." "Lads." "Lads." "See those blokes out there?" "Those are Manchester United supporters." "How dare those twats show up here?" "Delay them." "I promise I'll burn your school down." "No school!" "Come on." "Oi, lads." "Get the ball!" "Let's go, lads." "SEBASTIAN:" "They've got guns!" "Excuse me, sir." "I think you dropped something." "Dropped what?" "[GRUNTS]" "You're in Grimsby now, you git!" "Do you think I'll hesitate to kill you?" "Little bastard." "Now!" "[ALL SHOUTING]" "Sanjiv, now!" "[DOG YELPS]" "[GROWLING AND BARKING]" "Fish factory, this way." "Come on, fish factory." "Go there." "Quick." "In there." "Let's go." "[¶¶¶]" "Aah!" "Seb." "What have you done?" "You've killed him." "Nobby, what are you doing?" "I'm showing some respect for the dead." "There you go, mate." "[ALL YELP]" "Nobby!" "What?" "Get over here." "What is it?" "I need you to suck this wound in my shoulder." "No, no, no, I don't put my lips on another man's shoulder." "That's very gay." "Do it now." "People have been chucked out of Grimsby for ordering a vegetarian breakfast." "That pellet was filled with Lonomiacaterpillartoxin." "I'll be dead in 90 seconds if you don't suck it out." "Okay, okay." "Suck hard." "That's it." "Don't swallow the poison." "And now spit it out." "Well done." "[SIGHS] Praise the Lord." "I thought I'd lost you, brother." "I love you so much." "Nobby." "What?" "I've been hit somewhere else." "Where?" "I'm not falling for that one." "No way." "No, you don't-- What are you doing?" "No, why are you taking those off?" "The toxin's coursing through the left lobule of my teste." "Up the spermatic plexus to my kidneys." "Suck it." "Whoo!" "As Jesus said," ""Thou shalt not suck off your own fucking brother."" "Do it, or I'll be dead in 60 seconds." "I've been searching for you for almost 30 year." "I could've found you in two minutes on Grindr." "Choose." "You can suck my scrotum or you can let me die." "Okay." "What would you like written on your gravestone?" "Suck my balls!" "Whoa!" "I have less than 40 seconds." "All right." "This is for Dad." "Suck it." "Suck harder." "Suck and spit." "Suck and spit." "Suck and spit." "It's traveling too fast." "I need to be on top." "Over here." "What?" "No." "I draw the line at teabagging." "[SCREAMING]" "Must shake this out." "It's not working." "[¶¶¶]" "[SOBBING] Coddy." "Coddy, don't go." "Coddy." "I've lost you once." "I refuse to lose you again." "[¶¶¶]" "[GASPS]" "[SPITS] Oh!" "That's it." "We did it." "You did it." "We did" "You just came on me face." "It was a trickle of pre-ejaculate at most." "Grow up." "[SOBBING]" "[TYPING]" "RHONDA:" "Ienvisionaday whenpeople won'thaveto livelikethis ." "Adaywhenpoverty willbeeradicated." "AndI knowit 'spossible." "MAN:" "Sir, we've got something." "Suckharder." "Suckandspit." "So, what's this new intelligence, Marber?" "MARBER:" "We've identified the partner, sir." "He's Graves' brother." "Brother?" "Kyle Alan Butcher, a.k.a. Nobby Butcher." "A Maelstrom sleeper, no doubt." "MARBER:" "Just some working-class scum." "Find them and kill them." "Yes, sir." "[CELL PHONE RINGING]" "JODIE:" "Ifoundtheassassin." "He'sPavelLukashenko." "He'sonroutetoSouthAfrica." "Good." "Yeah." "And they know about your brother." "No problem." "I'm about to ditch him." "Listen." "They'll kill him and his family too if they catch him." "Doyoureallywant yourbrotherto die?" "Forget it." "Look, I need to talk to your friend." "Uh, what--?" "Milky?" "The fish travel agent?" "[SNIFFLES]" "What, so you can gob-rape him too?" "You monster." "No." "We're going to South Africa." "Really?" "I'm going on holiday with me babby brother." "[¶¶¶]" "[CROWD CHEERING]" "TV ANNOUNCER:" "It'sa semifinalthathas  becomegrippedby tension." "AndEnglandto havethe ball." "Timeforonelastattack,baby." "Come on, Sterling." "The ball's broken for Sterling." "NOBBY:" "Get in there." "RaheemSterling'sthrough." "AndRaheemSterling scoresforEngland!" "[ALL CHEER] ThatsurelyputsEngland intothefinalinChile." "CROWD [CHANTING]:" "Herewego !" "BOTH:" "We spit on your face!" "Here we go!" "Here we go!" "Nobby." "They're beating up Zeke Stanton." "NOBBY:" "Nazi bastard!" "Pitch invasion!" "Pitch invasion!" "NOBBY:" "Nazi scum!" "SEBASTIAN:" "Let's get them!" "NOBBY:" "Come on." "SEBASTIAN:" "Yeah!" "[¶¶¶]" "That'sit." "Englandare going tothefinalinChile." "[CELL PHONE RINGING]" "Jodie." "Hi, Daddy." "No, no, stop doing that now." "It's weird." "I've discovered where Lukashenko is." "I tracked him to the Tshukaru Bush Lodge in Kruger Park." "He'smeetingup with abiochemistcalledJorisSmit ." "Maelstromareclearly buyingsomethingfromhim ." "He's currently in a hotel room withLinaSmit,his wife, famedforherpromiscuity." "You need to find out from her." "You may need to seduce her." "Well, as you know, I'll do anything for England." "Bookmearoomatthelodge." "I have done." "Your alias is Mr. Shelton." "Hey, English." "What?" "I have something for you to celebrate:" "the best heroin in Africa." "Enjoy." "I'm embarrassed to say I've never actually tried any before." "You'll like it." "Listen," "I'd love to stay in touch." "Are you on e-mail or...?" "LinkedIn." "It is TabansiNyaguraHeroinDealer15." "[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE] Yes." "Who's that you were talking to?" "That is me new mate, Tabansi." "He flies to and from South America with drugs rammed up his bottom." "It's either that or a life of crime." "[ROOSTER CAWING]" "SEBASTIAN:" "Nobby." "I'll be gone for a couple of hours." "Why?" "What are you up to?" "I'm meeting someone to find out why Lukashenko came here." "You stay here, understood?" "[SIGHS]" "Oh, no." "I think I might've mixed up our needles." "Oh, my God." "You can't do a secret mission on heroin." "Not to worry, all right?" "Just leave the spying to your brother." "[STRAINS]" "[CELL PHONE RINGS]" "Sebastian?" "No, he's currently on couch, smacked off his tits." "Who is this?" "I'mhisbrother,Nobby." "Can I help?" "Nobby, I need you to listen to me." "Youaregoingtohave  totakehisplace." "You need to head to Maitland Station." "There, you'll meet a driver from Tshukaru Bush Lodge." "When you meet him, your alias is Mr. Shelton." "Did you get that?" "I'llsendtheinformation toyourlens." "[¶¶¶]" "¶Isit my imagination¶" "¶OrhaveIfinallyfound  Somethingworthlivingfor ?" "¶" "¶Youcouldwait Fora lifetime¶" "¶Tospendyourdays  Inthesunshine¶" "¶Youmightaswell  Dothewhiteline¶" "¶' Causewhenit comes Ontop¶" "¶You'vegotta Makeithappen¶" "¶You'vegotta Makeithappen¶" "NOBBY:" "Oh, no." "Open the door!" "Open the door!" "[ROARS]" "Okay, you need to head inside, find Lina Smit and seduce her." "What, and cheat on Dawny?" "Never." "You need to seduce her in order to find out whatLukashenko boughtfromherhusband." "Okay." "CanyouseeLinaSmit ?" "She's easy to spot." "She'swearingagreendress, andshe'sabsolutelygorgeous." "Oh, no." "She is gorgeous." "Gother?" "Bingo." "I'vegotto go ." "Remember,actsophisticated." "[IMITATING SEAN CONNERY] Hello, pussycat." "The name is..." "Shelton." "M.R. Shelton." "I've been looking for you." "You want room clean?" "[IN NORMAL VOICE] Room clean?" "[AS SEAN CONNERY] Yeah." "Yes. "Room clean."" "From top to bottom." "I'm in 23." "But together, we could make it 69." "Okay." "I come soon." "[¶¶¶]" "[WATER BUBBLING]" "Come on." "Ugh!" "[CELL PHONE RINGS]" "Good afternoon." "Hello." "There's an emergency." "It's a code brown." "Acodebrown,sir ?" "I've blocked the toiletry." "Could you send somebody up as soon as you can, please?" "Okay, Mr. Shelton." "I will send you assistance." "Sebastian Graves is here." "JORIS:" "Go to his room and seduce him." "I'llbetheresoon." "[KNOCK ON DOOR] Oh, good." "Maintenance is here." "Mr. Shelton." "That is really fast service." "I only just called down." "Thank you for coming so quickly." "I hope I can reciprocate." "Yeah." "Anyway, uh, follow me." "Uh, ahem, come on." "In here." "Let's do this." "Not your usual place to do it." "What?" "Why?" "Where did you expect me to do it?" "In the bed." "In the" " In the bed?" "I'm not an animal." "I haven't done one in a bed for over five weeks." "Let's be quick with this." "Shall I show it to you?" "How do I know that when I see it," "I won't fall madly in love with you?" "There's really not much danger of that." "It's enormous." "All the better." "How hard is it?" "[SIGHS] Well, okay." "Let me try and remember." "Um..." "I mean, the top of it is, you know, very hard." "Actually, painfully so." "Mmm." "Then kind of medium soft." "And at the base of it, really hard again." "Now, should I tell you what I'm gonna do with it?" "No." "I'm gonna take it in my hand." "All of it." "Right." "That's very unusual." "Yeah." "Right?" "And then I'm gonna kiss it." "Gonna kiss it?" "And I'm gonna put all of it in my mouth." "This is worse than 2 Girls and 1 Cup." "I bet it tastes like strawberries." "And I bet you that it tastes of kebab with extra curry sauce." "Listen." "You're a total fucking weirdo, right?" "Just stay in here and do not come out." "Okay." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "[IMITATING SEAN CONNERY] So we meet again." "Please, come in." "Okay." "What are you doing?" "Let someone else do that." "[METALLIC CLATTERING]" "Please excuse me for one moment." "[WHISPERING IN NORMAL VOICE] What the hell are you doing?" "I'm getting myself ready." "Shh!" "Listen, I get it." "You don't wanna get any brown shrapnel on your clothes." "Brown" " Brown shrapnel?" "This." "[GASPS]" "You see?" "Hard, soft, hard." "May the best man win." "MAID:" "I go in there now." "NOBBY:" "No, no, no." "Let's get acquainted." "Has anyone ever told you that you're a very beautiful woman?" "You are the most beautiful thing to ever walk the Lord's green earth." "[BEEPING]" "We're getting signal from Graves' lens, sir." "Put it up." "So, what are we looking at?" "Good God, Graves." "Whoo!" "Why did Lukashenko meet your husband?" "Can you zoom in on that stationery?" "Send the coordinates to Chilcott." "You'd rather make love to a maid than me?" "Maid?" "Banu, out!" "Sorry, Mrs. Smit." "Mrs. Smit?" "Get out, Banu!" "I'm so sorry." "Sorry." "[DOOR CLOSES]" "Now, let me show you how wild this animal can be." "Did you really think I'd let you sleep with my wife, Mr. Graves?" "No." "But then again, I never thought that she'd chop up me poo with a coat hanger." "[GUNS COCK]" "Goodbye, Sebastian Graves." "SEBASTIAN:" "That's not Sebastian Graves." "You okay?" "Yeah." "How was the heroin?" "Better than expected." "Why did Lukashenko meet your husband?" "What are Maelstrom planning?" "I don't know." "Seb, don't." "Don't take it personal, love." "He kills everyone." "It's because he used to wet the bed." "It's important she knows." "It's not important." "Well, it was important to the boy on the bunk under you who used to get dripped on at night." "Get on with it." "Just tell us what you know, and he'll let you live." "Come on." "Lukashenko bought some kind of virus." "When is he gonna use it?" "Tomorrow." "Where are they gonna release the virus?" "They'll-- [GUNFIRE]" "Get down!" "Stay down!" "It's Chilcott." "Move!" "Come on!" "Come on." "Run." "[¶¶¶]" "[PANTING]" "There's nowhere to hide." "I got an idea." "Oh, great." "Because your ideas have netted nothing but gold up to this point." "You're gonna follow me and do exactly what your big brother says." "Hurry!" "Come on." "[¶¶¶]" "Where'd they go?" "They were just here." "Spread out." "Find them." "[GRUNTS]" "Oh, God, this is disgusting." "Sir, take a look at this!" "NOBBY:" "Check if they've gone." "SEBASTIAN:" "I'm trying to." "[FLIES BUZZING]" "What can you see?" "They've gone?" "The coast is clear." "Good." "Let's get out of here." "Oh, no." "Oh, fuck me!" "Brace yourself, Seb!" "[TRUMPETING]" "Get off him!" "SEBASTIAN:" "Get it off me." "Aah!" "The male can fuck for up to three hours." "We have to make it come." "I saw it on the BBC." "You work the shaft, and I'll cradle the balls." "It's gonna break my neck." "I got them." "[TRUMPETING]" "Come on, Sebbo." "You can do it." "I'm doing it!" "I'm doing it!" "Put your tongue in the peehole." "Don't be stupid." "I think we're in business." "I think we're in business." "[TRUMPETS]" "Come on." "Come on." "[GASPS]" "[HOWLS]" "Oh, God." "That is revolting!" "Hakunamatata." "Well done." "I think I'm gonna be sick." "It's a trickle of pre-ejaculate at most." "Grow up." "See if the coast is clear." "NOBBY:" "Oh, no." "What?" "What is it?" "It's an elephant bukkake party." "SEBASTIAN:" "Get it out." "It's breaking me asshole." "Not much longer now." "Brace yourself!" "Aah!" "No!" "[ELEPHANTS GRUNTING]" "[TRUMPETS]" "SEBASTIAN:" "All right." "Are you okay?" "No, I'm not okay." "I just did an entirely white poo." "You need to get cleaned up." "Get in." "Is me ass okay?" "Huh?" "Yeah, it's good." "It's really good." "[GRUNTS AND SIGHS]" "Are those your bollocks?" "Someone's given you a hickey on your right nut." "[LAUGHS]" "That was you." "Oh." "[CELL PHONE RINGS]" "It's Jodie." "She could be your missus." "No, I could never be with one woman." "Well, you're missing out on the greatest gift in life:" "Family." "The only gift I ever got from my family was betrayal." "Why did you do it?" "It doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter?" "You abandoned me when I was 6." "Now, why?" "[¶¶¶]" "MR. GRAVES:" "We have made our decision." "We've decided we can take one of the brothers, Mr. Lowsley." "But Mr. and Mrs. Graves, these boys are inseparable." "It would break their hearts, and affect them both very badly." "This is the decision we have come to." "LOWSLEY:" "But that would leave one of the brothers in the foster system in Grimsby." "It's no place for a boy." "He'll have no future here." "CONDUCTOR:" "All aboard!" "SEBASTIAN Nobby!" "Have you seen me brother Nobby?" "Nobby!" "No!" "Nobby!" "Come back, Nobby!" "[SOBBING]" "Oh, my God." "So I could have had your life?" "That's right." "And you could have had mine." "Nobby..." "I..." "I am so sorry." "Wait." "I think our penises just fist-bumped." "Disengage." "You need to focus, right?" "Yeah." "You need to find out where Maelstrom are planning to blow up tomorrow." "And I need to find a pub to watch the final in." "Hold on." "That's it." "They're gonna blow up the sun." "No, they're planning to bomb the final in Chile." "What?" "How are we supposed to get halfway around the world in 12 hours with the entire global intelligence community trying to kill me?" "We'll never make it." "I searched for you for 28 years." "I do not believe in never." "[¶¶¶]" "That's the beauty of LinkedIn." "Hey, Nobb-Man." "How is your brother going to blend in with those football hooligans looking like the guy from Despicable Me?" "[BOTH LAUGH]" "[¶¶¶]" "[WHISTLES BLOWING]" "CROWD:" "England!" "England!" "REPORTER 1:" "EnglishandGermanfans havebeenarrivinghere inSantiago throughoutthelast fewdays." "REPORTER 2:" "Looksliketheperfectplace tocomeandwatch yournationalteamplay forwhatis ultimately thegreatestprize inworldfootball." "Thisisatruly internationaloccasion." "REPORTER 1:" "We'veseenDonaldTrump." "Star of stage and screen, Daniel Radcliffe is here." "MiddleEastpeacesymbol SchlomoKhalidi, lookingmuchbetter, isheretoo." "Somuchcolorand noise." "Andtherewillbeplentyof bothattheend ofthematch , becausethefinalwhistle willtrigger whatwearetoldwill be thebiggestfireworkdisplay ever seen at a sporting event." "When we was kids, did you ever think that we'd end up going to the final together?" "Yes, I did, brother." "MAN:" "Nobby!" "[ALL CHEER]" "No." "Surprise!" "Oh!" "I missed you so much." "Hey." "Our favorite spy!" "CROWD [CHANTING]:" "He'sMI6'sfinest!" "He'sMI6'sfinest!" "Keep quiet." "MILKY PIMMS:" "Nothing to see!" "There's a commotion, sir." "Get in closer." "Graves." "Nobby." "Hey." "I'll be back." "Coddy!" "Wait." "Nobby!" "[GRUNTING]" "[GRUNTS]" "[GRUNTING]" "Let's go." "Sebbo?" "Sebbo?" "Sebbo!" "Oi!" "Seb!" "Got you." "[WOMAN SCREAMS] [MAN YELLS]" "[WOMAN SOBBING]" "What is this place?" "Oh, my God." "Maelstrom are sex traffickers." "Listen to me." "You've gotta get out before they sell you to the highest bidder." "Get out." "Get out now." "Out." "Out." "Shh!" "Quiet." "You don't have to live like this." "Get out." "Out." "Get out." "Regain your dignity." "Out." "[WOMEN SCREAM]" "[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]" "Seb." ""The rapist."" "Hey." "Nobody buggers me brother." "A man can only take so much jizz." "Get off him!" "[YELLS]" "[SCREAMS]" "[RIPPING SOUND] Aah!" "Wait." "You're not Seb." "[SHOUTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]" "[GRUNTING]" "[GROANS]" "You must be freezing." "You." "Pleasure to meet you, Sebastian." "I could understand why you might want to kill the head of the World Health Organization." "Why bomb the final?" "Bomb?" "There is no bomb." "It's a disease." "It's a virus called RD-9." "Or as I like to call it, WorldCure." "At the end of the game, everyone in the stadium will be infected." "It should take two to three weeks for symptoms to start showing up." "SEBASTIAN:" "By which time, 96,000 fans from almost every country in the world will be back home, spreading the disease." "Why are you doing this?" "Well, think about it." "We have 7 billion people running around on a planet that can only hold 5." "I'm just trying to make the world a better place, that's all." "By deleting the surplus." ""Cure the world."" "And whom, exactly, do you intend to delete?" "The garbage." "The imbeciles who lie around drunk, reproducinglikerabbits." "Andsittingthere withtheirhandout , expectingtherestofus topay." "And let's be frank, who's gonna miss them anyway?" "[LAUGHS]" "Kill him." "[BEEPING]" "[PHONE CHIMES]" "You're new to this." "You ever killed a man before?" "[¶¶¶]" "Are you gonna shoot me?" "No." "How is it you English football supporters say?" "Oh, yes." "You're going to get your bloody head kicked in." "¶ Come and have a go if you Think you're hard enough ¶" "[GLASS SHATTERS]" "[GRUNTING]" "Ow!" "Maybe just shoot me." "Get up." "[CHUCKLES]" "[CELL PHONE VIBRATES] ¶I don'tseenothingwrong¶" "¶Withalittle Bumpandgrind¶" "¶Withalittle Bumpandgrind¶" "¶I don'tseenothingwrong¶" "Time to say goodbye to your hideous pig wife." "Let me give you some advice," "Ukrainian Ben Affleck." "Never, ever slag off a Grimsby lass." "You don't have guts." "[¶¶¶]" "Whoa." "Well, that were easy." "Hiya." "Amazing." "Gotta get one of these for the kids." "You have a family?" "I just reconnected with mine." "I'm going to go home and" "[GUNSHOT]" "This killing business is a right laugh, isn't it?" "I understand why you love guns so much." "I mean, it completely detaches you from the guilt of your actions." "[MAN YELLS]" "Ta-da!" "[BLOWS]" "Bonus point." "[¶¶¶]" "[GUNSHOT]" "Will you stop shooting everything?" "[CONTINUES SHOOTING GUN]" "ANNOUNCER:" "It'sGermany1, England1, andit'sanyone'sfinalnow." "[¶¶¶]" "Get that feed up." "Come on." "I'm trying." "ANNOUNCER:" "Solittletimeremaining." "Fourminutes todecidethefinal." "NOBBY:" "Mission accomplished." "All we need is England to score." "This'll be the best day of my life." "What?" "Every man, woman and child in this stadium is about to die." "Put this in your ear." "Jodie, I need you to check for anywhere that might contain the virus." "Okay, I will scan for the chemical signature." "This is hopeless." "No, it's not." "Look who just sat down." "We need to stop her before she sets off the virus." "All right, listen, let's go around the stadium." "We can't go around." "There's not enough time." "NOBBY:" "We need to go across the pitch." "Pitch invasion." "Too much security." "We'll never make it alone." "Alone?" "We are not alone." "ANNOUNCER:" "It'sEnglandwhoare looking themorelikely tostealalatewinner." "Hey, give me that." "Nobby!" "Sit down!" "Come on." "Men and women of Grimsby, listen up." "This is important." "You see that lass over there?" "What?" "Sharon Osbourne?" "No." "She's gonna release this deadly virus, and it's gonna kill poor people like us, because she thinks that we are scum." "Bloody hell, Nobby, we are scum." "Well" " Well, you are, Pete." "You're a registered sex offender." "That's not a compliment." "So we're scum, are we?" "Well, let me tell you something about scum:" "It's scum who built the hospitals that are now closing down." "ALL:" "Yeah." "It's scum who die in the wars started by the bastards in charge." "ALL:" "Yeah!" "It's scum that keep the Fast and Furious franchise alive." "ALL:" "Yeah!" "So I ask you to join with us now and storm that pitch..." "Yeah!" "...and show the world that scum cannot be washed away, ever." "ALL:" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "[¶¶¶]" "ALL:" "We are the scum!" "[CACKLING]" "Yeah!" "We started too early." "DAWN:" "Whoo!" "It's Graves." "Keep him away from me." "Okay, the target is on the move." "I'll sync with your lens." "Nobby, you ready for a fight?" "I thought you'd never ask." "Green Earth." "[LENS BEEPING]" "Target heading southwest through the German section." "[MEN GRUNTING]" "[BOTH YELL]" "SEBASTIAN:" "Come on." "ANNOUNCER:" "Well,sanityhasreturned, andsohavethe players." "Theshowwillgoon." "Thefinalwillberestarted." "SEBASTIAN:" "Jodie, where's the virus?" "JODIE:" "Istillcan'tfindit." "Nobby, meet the head of the biggest crime syndicate in the world." "What, she runs FIFA?" "Who's this idiot?" "His name's Sebastian." "Boys!" "Oh, bollocks." "Go!" "[ALL GRUNTING]" "Quick!" "She's getting away!" "[IMITATING SEAN CONNERY] So we meet again." "I found it." "The virus is in one of the fireworks." "Shoot her before she gets to the detonator." "But what if I miss?" "I trust you." "Oi!" "ANNOUNCER 1:" "Tenseconds." "That'sallthat'sleft." "Oh,lookat Sterling!" "Whata chance!" "Oh,no!" "It'sgoingoverthe bar !" "ANNOUNCER 2:" "Oh,no,it 'snot." "ANNOUNCER 1:" "Butwait!" "What'shappened totheball?" "It'sbouncedin !" "[ALL CHEER]" "No,thereferee's gonnadisallowit ." "Thegoalstands." "Yes!" "Englandhavewonit!" "Come on, Nobby." "Stop shooting everything and focus." "NOBBY:" "Don'tworry." "I'vegot this." "[GUN CLICKING] Jodie, me gun's jammed." "[GRUNTS]" "Oh, no." "BOY:" "Excuse me, miss." "Yes?" "Go fuck yourself!" "Aah!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "We did it, Seb!" "SEBASTIAN:" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Sanjiv, now!" "Got it." "What?" "Please, no!" "No!" "Goodbye, Sebastian." "No!" "No!" "[BEEPING]" "Cure the world!" "No!" "SEBASTIAN:" "Too late!" "There's no way to stop the fireworks!" "I'll jump on them." "It won't work." "The virus is in the tip of the firework." "It would need to explode within a contained environment tostopit spreading." "There's nothing you can do." "Yes, there is." "I'm from Grimsby." "Jodie, which firework is it in?" "It's in the central left-hand rocket." "What are you doing?" "Contributing to society." "[ALL GASP]" "Aah!" "Oh, Nobby." "It's the firework to your left, not my left." "For fuck's sake!" "[HUMMING]" "Tell my kids that Daddy died with dignity." "Nobby, can you hear me?" "The firework next to you also has the virus." "What?" "No." "But I don't have another asshole." "I need another asshole." "You've got one." "I'm from Grimsby too... and I'm never gonna let you leave me again." "[GROANS]" "[EXHALING RAPIDLY]" "Oh, my God, Graves." "Butcher Boys of Grimsby, together..." "Forever." "[BOTH SCREAMING]" "[CROWD GASPS]" "[SCREAMS]" "[NEWS THEME MUSIC PLAYS]" "DonaldTrumphasAIDS." "PhilanthropistRhondaGeorge hasbeenarrested." "MiddleEastpeacesymbol SchlomoKhalidiis in custody followingthemurder ofMI6agentJeremyChilcott." "Ididn'tdo it ." "I'vehad  theworst[BLEEP]weekever ." "[BLEEP]Israel.[BLEEP] Palestine.[ BLEEP]allof you." "NEWS ANCHOR:" "Englandfansin highspirits afterCupfinalvictory." "RogueMI6operative SebastianGraves andhisbrother NobbyButcher diedatthescenewhile preventingtherelease ofa deadlytoxin." "Inothernews, aSouthAfricanhotelmaid  hasfiledasuitalleging sexualassault byOasisfrontman LiamGallagher." "Gallagher is also being sought forabusingan elephant inconjunctionwithFast and Furious star Vin Diesel." "JODIE:" "Naturally, you'll both be needing new identities." "How are you guys doing?" "How does me ass look?" "Good." "Uh, really good." "It's a bit smoky in here, Jodie." "Can we have the fan on, please?" "Uh, of course." "So you were saved from the virus by an antibody found in elephant semen, which lined, uh..." "[AIR BLOWING AT VARYING PITCHES THROUGH ANAL CAVITIES] ...your innards." "We're like a pair of pan pipes." "Great." "And I thought you were going to be faithful, Sebastian." "You know, you really filled a hole in my life." "Hiya!" "Nobby." "KIDS:" "Dad." "Oh, my God." "[RELIEVED LAUGHTER]" "I'm so glad that you're alive." "NOBBY:" "You know what?" "Family." "It's the greatest gift in life." "[LAUGHING] [COINS CLINKING]" "Stop throwing coins in there." "It's not a brown wishing well." "[ALL LAUGH]" "[¶¶¶]" "[¶¶¶]" "[¶¶¶]" "MAN:" "Youarenowtransmitting." "Standby." "Standby." "Eyesonthetarget." "JODIE:" "Listen, we're sending information to your lens." "NOBBY:" "I'vegotthis." "BlueEarth." "[MAN SHOUTING IN ARABIC]" "[MAN SHOUTS IN ARABIC]" "[MEN SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]" "[BLOWS]" "[DOOR CREAKS]" "Hiya, bruv." "Good, you're early." "Yes, I am." "Did you meet the team?" "[¶¶¶]" "[¶¶¶]" "[¶¶¶]" "[¶¶¶]" "Excuse me." "Which way to the stadium?" "Straight on for 5 kilometers, then to the right." "Thank you." "[GUNSHOT]" "Leave no witnesses."