"8:17 p.m., Darling Street" "My name's Gérard." "I'm an alcoholic." "I've been sober 6 months, 2 days." "I should be dead." "I don't like the sea." "But in St-Jean-Port-JoIi, there's nothing much to do." "So I watch the sea." "It's hard to know exactly how stories begin." "I guess mine started with a phone call." "Yes, Chantal." "Who else could it be?" "I can't." "Lortie's airing on FM at 8:00." "I can't afford damn tickets!" "I said, I can't!" "I'll come if you put the radio on and keep quiet." "To make a long story short, I demanded to see the manager." "I went back to the store." "A $100 mistake is ridiculous." "chantal..." "First of my 3 ex-wives." "Since I've been sober, she calls me for odd jobs." "Like she can't afford a plumber." "Anyway." "The 9th step of alcoholics Anonymous says," ""We made amends directly to those we harmed."" "I'd given her grief, so I help her out sometimes." "She reminds me how I wasted my Iife, what a bad reporter I was, how I let her down not having kids, the books I never wrote, the infidelities I committed, all the Scotch I drank." ""Sorry, Ma'am, I was wrong." l had to force it out of her!" "See?" "Wasn't that simple?" "You got to hear the concert after all." " l love hearing music with you." " lt brings back nice memories?" "Divorce is like marriage:" "it matures." "After 20 years, our divorce is finally working." "I dunno what she sees in me." "Guess we're like family." "If she hadn't called me over that night," "I'd have died listening to Beethoven's 29th piano sonata." "But the worst thing was the shoelace." "It took 10 seconds to tie it." "Enough time to run into someone who missed a stop sign." "So much for driving sober, fuck!" "You had a stop" "No, I had right of way!" "Do you understand French?" "I can't understand you!" "Try filling out an accident report with a unilingual Chinese-speaker." "Not easy." "We spent 30 minutes arguing in Cantonese." "It saved my Iife." "Gerry!" "Back with the newspaper?" " No, I live there!" " Tough luck." "Which address?" " Ten sixty-eight." " You won't sleep here tonight." "If it isn't Langlois!" "Back at the paper?" "I'd been a reporter for 25 years." "I covered fire, crime, and disasters." "I'd seen bisected bodies, smashed faces," "children burnt alive." "Sights more horrifying than any man should see." "One day, I decided that was enough." "I guess the past catches up to you." "Too late, Gerry, show's over!" "You don't look so good." "Are you sober?" "Yes!" "I feel bad 'cause I lived there!" "An explosion?" "Yeah!" " When?" " Call came in at 8:17 p.m." " Casualties?" " Not sure how many." " How long were you here?" " Seven months." "How many people lived here?" "An old lady on the ground floor." "A family on the 2nd:" "father, mother, teenage boy and a little girl." "A single guy next door to them, and a girl beside me." " Any idea who was inside?" " Maybe the old lady." "For sure, the mother and daughter." "The father had just left." "He's in the victims' bus." "The others are missing." "You stay out." "I'm not on assignment." "I just want to sit down." "I lived there." "That's a good one." "Get on." "You deserve it." "One night, I wanted to interview a man whose kid died in a fire." "I followed him right into the bus." "He went crazy." "It took 3 cops to stop him from killing me." "But I don't remember." "I was too drunk to remember what I did." "Holy shit." "The house is gone!" "Hey, Dad!" "My downstairs neighbour." "Father of the girl who died." "He screamed at her all day." "Maybe he regretted it now." "The first thing I saw there was the mini-bar." "I've often lost everything in life." "This was the first time it happened sober." "I was thirsty." "Nothing like a Scotch to lighten the load of Iife." "I couldn't sleep." "I kept wondering why I survived." "Why me?" "A 3-time divorcé." "A liar, thief, cheater, who, for 20 years, had loved only booze." "Why was I spared while my neighbours died?" "Why?" "A shoelace." "A fucking shoelace." "It's deeply insulting to owe one's life to an untied shoelace." "Anyway." "The 3rd step of alcoholic Anonymous says," ""We entrust our will and life to God as we understand him."" "I guess we must accept what happens to us as His will." "Easier said than done." "After the Moreau St. tunnel, on Ontario, you reach HocheIaga." "Canada's 3rd-poorest district." "This is home." "I grew up here." "I ended up moving back here, 2 blocks from my birthplace." "I paid $1000/month to live in posh areas." "Yet here, in an unheated 3-room flat," "I couId taste water again." "Why're you here?" "I lived here, marshall." "Third floor." "Life's strange, eh?" " Was it arson?" " l dunno." " Any ideas?" " That explosion was weird." "What do you mean?" "Weird." "Listen, I can't talk now." "Call Public Affairs for details." "Well, how many died?" " Six." " Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure." " No clue as to cause?" " For now, it's "Act of God"." "Let me work." "Act of God." "Wrong thing to say to an alcoholic at odds with God." "But Lt Geoffrion had never been one for tact." " Here." " Thanks." "You live on Darling?" " Notice anything?" " No." "She was my neighbour." "She wasn't from around here." "The clothes and bearing of wealth were obvious." "Mr Demers, please." "His daughter. lt's urgent." "I'll hold." "Dad?" "I'm trying to call Mom." "She's not home?" "Are you sure?" "No, nothing." "Nothing's wrong." "It's fine. I gotta go, I'll call you back." "A cold towel!" "Miss?" " Thanks." " Are you alright?" "Yes." "Want to get up?" " Sure you're OK?" " Yes." "Recognize me?" "And so, I got drawn into it." "AII she said at the diner was she'd been on a trip." "She'd lent her flat to a friend, and was worried." "I called the fire dept." "and police for her." "We ended up in my car, headed for the morgue." "Hi." "I told you to keep out." "Try the Coroner." "I don't talk to reporters." "Especially scavengers like you." "Look." "Calm down." "I lived in that block on Darling." "This is my neighbour." "We're here for an id." "is that true?" "Come this way." " Shall I come?" " No, thanks." "Wait here." "A reporter?" "If anyone was in her place, it was her mother not her friend." "Yeah, I heard her too." "Why'd she lie?" " She identified someone?" " Can't say." " Where is she?" " Gone." "Alone?" "Right." "Old Mme Dumais, ground floor." "I don't know her first name." "My downstairs neighbour." "Don't know her last name." "Her husband and son were on the bus." "Her daughter," "Josée." "This one's unrecognizable!" "The other two?" "What other two?" "Weren't there six?" "I only have four." "One fireman said six." "That's news." "Geoffrion said six died." "Six." " Maybe he was wrong." " He's never wrong." "Better not get involved." "Thanks..." "Gérard?" "Anything I can do for you?" "No. I'm fine." "Forget the little girl." "And...one day at a time." "I took it personally." "A child's body down at the morgue." "My damn life." "I'd done everything to shorten it, except shoot myself or jump off a building." "But a little 4-year-oId girl was dead and I was still alive." "Scotch, please." "Double straight." "Ended up in Verdun, with angIos." "english, French, polish, AIgonquin, no matter." "AA stories are all the same." "First, the downfall." "Then, hell." "It's endless." "alcoholics walk a wire." "A decade of sobriety doesn't guarantee the end." "We try to do the 12 steps, knowing each is hard." "One day at a time, 24 hours/day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year." "Stories are sacred." "I'm unsure about much in life, but I know stories are sacred." ""germinal", the bible, an AA story, it's all the same:" "they impose order on chaos." "Story-teIIing is like whistling in the dark." "We do it to survive." "Later that night, I decided to find out what had happened." "We can't revive the dead, but we can tell their story." "Don't worry." "I won't mention you." "Okay, Stef. I owe you one." "Fine." "Bye." "Six it is." "Six dead:" "old Mme Dumais, Josée and her mom, the mystery woman with the smashed face." "We saw these." "Plus the 2 they concealed:" "Mme Diane Demers, likely that student's mother, and an unknown man beside her." "Plus, 2 are missing:" "my 2nd-floor neighbour, and Josée's father, whom no one's seen since the bus." "Why mess around in this?" "It's none of your business." "And what'll you get out of it?" "You'll just hurt everyone." "Here's Mme Dumais's obituary." "Oh, boy!" "Listen to this:" ""Mme Diane Pilon Demers, M.D., 46, of accidental causes." "Wife of Claude Demers, Esq., National Bank president." "This is the big leagues." "She leaves her daughter, her sisters..." "Closed-casket ceremonies at St. Viateur church, Outremont."" "No shit..." "Mountainside mansion to death on Darling." "Funny, eh?" "Yeah, hilarious." "Hello, marshall." "You again?" "Find anything?" "Nothing." "How come?" "A gas explosion with no gas." " The house wasn't connected." " How about underground leaks?" "You want my job?" "No..." " Will it take long?" " The time it takes." "I don't get the streaker." "The what?" "The naked guy." "Just before, a lady on the 2nd saw a man streaking on the roof." " Really?" " You know her?" "No." "Always at the window." "A streaker." "Hello?" "Mr Langlois?" "You know me?" "I used to read your column." "Too bad you quit." "You had a way with murders." "Thanks." " ls it about the explosion?" " Yes." "It was the Hells." "Come in." " Excuse me, what's your name?" " Marie-Rose." "Lt Geoffrion said you saw a streaker before the explosion?" "Funny, eh?" "In mid-November." " Naked." " Yes." "You recognized him?" "He ran fast." " Was he in the explosion?" " No." "He made it over." " And what about the Hells?" " Your downstairs neighbour." "The tall guy." "He went out 3 or 4 times a night in his car." "Not to deliver pizza." " You saw this?" " Didn't you?" "They blew up the house to get him." "What a bastard!" "He used to beat his wife." "Such a nice girl, with a sweet little daughter." " Poor thing." " Hold on, Marie-Rose." "If this is true, you must've seen something suspicious." "I don't spend my life at the window!" " Anything else seem strange?" " No." "You're always reading, rarely eat at home." "Your 2nd-floor neighbour seems quiet but his windows are dark." "The 3rd-floor student seems quiet too, but..." "But?" "Sometimes when she's not there, a woman goes in, and then a man." "A rich lady, in a fancy car." "The man comes in a cab." "When they're finished, they leave separately." "Are you sure?" "And that lady?" "Mme Dumais?" "A saint." "A saint." "I went back to check the classifieds." "With only one night left, I had to find an apartment." "Looking around here?" "Yeah." "The 2-room below me is for rent." "The old tenant went to a home." " Where do you live?" " 3465 Lafontaine." "Really?" "I grew up there, on Lafontaine between AyIwin and CuviIier, in a big ground-floor flat, with my 8 siblings." "We used to sled out back." "Dad planted a tree by the hill." "The Inuit say, when lost in a blizzard, you walk in circles and end up exactly where you started." "I have furniture too." "I put it aside in the back." " You had a fire?" " Yes, I was on Darling." " The building that blew up." " Wait a minute." "Sir?" "There'll be no charge." " Really?" " Can we deliver it tomorrow?" "Sure. I'll just take a couple things now." " What's your name?" " Gaétane." "Thanks, Gaétane." "The old woman downstairs was named Adrienne." "I expected cIosed-casket." "She looked calm." "Seeing her again affected me." "I knelt and pretended to pray." "Maybe that counts." "Excuse me." "Did you know her?" "Not really." "We were neighbours." "I was away when it happened." " Was she your mother?" " My aunt." "My father's sister." "She was born on a farm." "Her family moved to town in the Depression." "She had Grade 4, and worked at Viau Cookies nearby." "At 37, she married a mailman she met at a parish fair." "They had no kids." "We call some women saints." "That was Aunt Adrienne." "She looked after old folks:" "did their errands and dishes, even though she was the oldest." "Then her sight failed." "She hardly ever went out." " She thought about death?" " She mentioned it." ""There's no rush."" "She said, "lf l keep my mind and hearing, I'd gladly live to 100."" "She loved listening to books on tape from the library." "I bet she was "reading" when it happened." "is this the tape library?" "Hello. I have an enquiry to make." "My neighbourjust died." "She borrowed books on tape." "Could I find out what she last borrowed?" "Adrienne Dumais on Darling Street." "Ringuet's "Trente Arpents"." "I read it when I was young." "I got it out of the library." "I reread it that night, Adrienne in mind." "I imagined her last night." "After supper, she settled into her favourite place." "She turned on the tape player, listened to the reader's voice." "This country-born woman basked in the tale of Moisan and his land by the river." "Then, a noise," "light... and it was over." "Mr Langlois?" " He's back!" " Who?" " The tall guy came for his car." " You saw him?" "No, but his car's gone!" "It was parked at the corner of Rouville." "Or it's the Hells." "The cops ignored me." "I'll look after it." "Good thing someone will." "I'll do my best." "Mr Langlois?" "You take calls here?" "You're my 2nd mom." "My Coroner contact." "A Mme Caron had identified Mme Demers' companion." "Denise and Josée were ID'd by Denise's mother." "Mme Laperrière lived nearby." "I checked it out." "Big mistake." "Where's my order, fuck?" " l'm not" " A case of 24, get it?" "Christ!" " l'm not delivery!" " So who are you?" "Denise's neighbour, offering condolences." "Well, shove them up your ass!" "She got what she deserved." "Good for her!" "Goddamnit!" "Sit down." "Okay?" " Alright?" " Yeah." " Want some water?" " No." "Gimme a cigarette." "Here." "Why'd you say... she got what she deserved?" "Who?" "Your daughter." "My daughter?" "Ain't my daughter any more." "She got cocky when she started college." "She moved to the west end, and started slagging us." "She was too good for us." "Ain't there nothin' to drink?" "Nothing left." "Why'd she come back?" "Who're you?" "I told you, her neighbour." "You're not dead?" "No." "Did she come back for her boyfriend?" "That fucking François can go to hell." " Why do you say that?" " Prick." "That prick!" "Where is he?" "I don't give a fuck!" "That dirty prick!" "OK, Mme Laperrière!" "What's her daughter's name?" "An empty room can be reassuring." "Like on the prairies, or on a beach." "You can see trouble coming." "I should've seen it coming." "But I was stuck on Denise." "Fate blocked her and dragged her back to a violent spouse and an alcoholic mother." "should've done my 4th step:" ""bravely proceed with a thorough moral inventory."" "I'd see I was just seeking excuses to drink." "Why else rummage in misspent lives, futile deaths, and an inexplicable accident?" "Well, hello!" "I figured you weren't set up to cook yet." "You like potato pie?" " What is it?" " Salmon pie without salmon." " A recipe from home?" " No, just poverty food." "Come in." "So, you were born nearby?" "So, that was the deal." "Potato pie for life story." "normally, I'd refuse but I wasn't myself." "She appealed to me." "So I laid it out: 3 marriages, career, 6,000 bottles of Scotch." "She seemed to empathize." "Why'd you like reporting?" "Why all the questions?" "You should talk." "You like stories." "So do I." "But I prefer live subjects." "They're more rewarding ...than dead ones." "Angéla... stop nagging me about that." " You shouldn't snoop." " lt's my affair." "You're nosing around like a reporter again." "I have a right to know." "I nearly died." "What difference will it make?" "Think we'll ever know why we die or survive?" "Focus on getting through the day and on those around you." "Well..." "Off to bed." "Up at 5:00 tomorrow." " Thanks for the pie." " You're welcome." "Very nice of you." "Take care, Gérard." "So, beautiful AngéIa went back upstairs," "leaving a restless guy in an empty kitchen with dirty dishes" "and no detergent." "Next day was Mme Demers's funeral." "I drove uptown and parked my heap on Laurier." "I'II never fathom it." "Outremont, so near HocheIaga." "And yet so foreign." "closer to Paris than to Ontario St." "On Ontario, they have flats, debts, no jobs." "On Laurier, property, investments, career paths, and longer lives to reap the benefits." "But they end up dying too." "They haven't managed to buy out of that yet." "Mr Demers requests you not write about this, nor compromise the family." "This is to help you out." "They did their homework." "Losers like me come cheap." "In fiction, the undone hero would reclaim his dignity, throw down the cash and take a beating." "But I couldn't have cared less about them." "Who cares about some aduIterous bourgeoise?" "What's more to know?" "And $1,000 is money." "I went to the bank." "First of the month." "Check Day." "AII the locals were there." "My peers." "My compatriots." "I'II never know why they're so docile." "Fuck, the shit was good." "I passed out..." " Didn't you live on Darling?" " Yeah, so?" "I was your upstairs neighbour!" "Oh, yeah..." " What's your name again?" " Patrick." "Where's your father?" "Why?" " l wanna talk to him." " Dunno where he is." "I just wanna know what happened." "Where were you?" "Not there." "They were fighting at home." "My little sister ran out." "Everyone took off after her." "I went too, but I got lost." "I missed the explosion." " Lucky, eh?" " Really lucky." "If you see your dad, say Gérard's looking for him." "Restaurant Adam, you know it?" " Yeah..." " Another thing." "Will there be a funeral?" "How should I know?" "His story depressed me." "I thought of Josée, probably the sanest person in her crazy family," "doing the only thing reasonable during a fight." "Where are you, Josée?" "Leave." "Get out." "flee far away from that hell." "Josée!" "Where are you?" "There's the brat!" "What're you doing?" "Why'd you run off like that?" "Look at me!" "I hoped Denise hadn't yelled much, but had hugged Josée," "shared a tender moment, and told her," "Oh, sweetie..." ""We'II stop, sweetie." "No more yelling at home."" ""Come, sweetheart." "Mommy loves you."" "No more yelling at home." ""But Annie shook herself, repeating over and over, 'l mustn't fall asleep..." " l'm going out for cigarettes." " Fine." "...lf l do, it's over." "I mustn't sleep."'" "I hoped that, back at home, she'd given Josée a bath, put clean pyjamas on her," "given her her bunny, taken time to read to her, before death set in." "For now, their bodies remained unburied, Iike carcasses." "God, help me get through the day." "Alleviate my thirst." "I walked like I wanted a drink, without stopping." "If I stopped, I'd drink." "I took cover from the rain." "The devil was waiting for me there." "Here." "For warmth." "No, thanks." "Come on!" "I'm on the wagon." "Do you get bored?" "Sometimes." "Not me." "Got a smoke?" "Thanks." "God looks after his chickadees." "Supposedly." "Hi, Gérard." "Hello." "Caught in the rain?" "Yes..." "You looked out of sorts at the diner." "Were you mad at me?" "No..." "Want some chicken pie with chicken?" "I'll change and come up." "I hadn't visited an unfamiliar woman in a while." "It was like recovering some Iong-Iost treasure." "little shrines were everywhere." "Sand, stones, snapshots of children." " Are those your kids?" " Yes, my 2 sons." "How old?" "The youngest, Michel, is 13 and René's 15 now." "You had them young." "I married at 18. I was pregnant." "I left home." "My dad would've killed me." "He's crazy." "I married a madman too." "Soon, a single mom with 2 kids." "She left her south-shore village for Quebec City." "She got work, an apartment, but was lonely." "So she drank." "I missed the sea." "I'd drink at night." "The boys would pick me up off the floor." "I went out, slept around." "Lost my job, totalled my car." "Neighbours started talking." "Social Services came." "One night, I was out partying and René had an accident opening his window." "He cut himself." "Blood everywhere." "Michel called 911." "When I got home, I saw the paramedics' note." "I got to the hospital at 5:00 am, drunk." "Social Services got involved." "I lost my kids." "After that," "I did what it took to get high." "Then, a fellow hooker got stabbed." "I found her body." "Pretty girl." "Not even 18." "That really... I decided I wanted to live." "So you joined AA?" "Yes." "A member sponsored me." "Then I came here." "Quebec City's small." "I often ran into ex-clients." "Do you ever contact the kids?" "They're in a foster home." "I wrote them last month." "It'd been 2 years." "Did they answer?" "I stood there for ages, longing to go to AngéIa's, knock on her door, hug her." "I should have, but I didn't." "Instead, I got my notebook out, and reread my notes." "Yes, I'd like to speak to Mme Caron, please." "It's Lt Langevin with the Montreal fire department." "Mme Caron didn't want to talk." "She was in chronic care." "I called my ex-IandIord." "He said the neighbour who disappeared was KarI Godin." "He worked in an electronics store." " What was he like?" " Quiet." "No trouble." "That's about it." "He was in that fire?" "We're looking for him." "I saw him Thursday, days before the fire." "Not since." "No." "You were away Friday." "He came and put three 27" TV's on his credit card." " Three?" "Yes." "He looked nervous." " Weird." "Not normal." " Did he say anything?" "He paid, put them in a cab and left." "This story triggered memories:" "the loud music KarI played recently, the poems on his door, all his nocturnal activity." "Something had happened." "Any progress?" " On the contrary!" " How come?" "A break-in." "How do I investigate a corrupted site?" " How'd they get in?" "The fence is undone." "Any idea who did it?" "I was sure he had a secret hunch." "He needn't tell me." "I probably had the same one." "Yes?" " Tomato juice." " With a straw?" "No, thanks." "For 3 generations, the darling Tavern has been the final stop before Bordeaux jail." "Don't want MoIson, O'Keefe or Labatt?" "Go elsewhere." "small bottles?" "They're for fags." "Don't order two, order 1 large." "The waiter is sluggish." "You know François Gravel?" "Nope." "Brown hair." "Red Camaro." "Never heard of him." "Why?" "We both lived on Darling." "I'm looking for him." "Keep looking." "Thanks, pal." "Finish your drink." "Someone wants to see you." "Stay put." "You're familiar." "Why d'you want Gravel?" "We lived on Darling." "You know that explosion?" "I lent him $20 on that bus and I need it." " Are you friends?" " Neighbours." "On the fire bus, he was broke, I helped him out." "Haven't seen him since." "Where is he?" "Obviously, I don't know." "Don't play smart with me, fucker!" "Where is he?" "I have no idea." "If you see him, come back and tell Pierrot." "The guy probably fronted François some coke." "He used the fire as an out, or else just went on a bender." "At times, you feel like a fool." "playing detective at my age, out there freezing at 1:00 am." "What did I hope to find?" "The meaning of Iife?" "I wouldn't find it investigating 6 deaths." "You die when you die, and live the best you can." "Period." "You eat, shit, get laid if you're lucky, and sleep." "Next day, you start over." "Then one day, there is no next day." "Oh, Christ." "Hold on. I'll get you out of there." "Can you talk?" "The exit was blocked." "I was caught like a rat." "AII for nought." "He probably hid his coke here and had come for it." "Damn great reason to die." "Goddamnit." "I tried doing the 10th step:" ""We conducted our personal inventory, and promptly admitted when we were wrong."" "Not exactly a triumph." "So I got in shit." "I was wrong, OK?" "I promise to be super-good, super-sober, super-nice, super-unimportant, and survive until 90." "How's that, God-as-we-understand-Him?" "is that your lofty will?" "Damn servile mentality." "I'm no poodle, I'm a man!" "When a man gets in shit, he gets a grip, stands up and gets out of it." "Why should I admit helplessness, loss of control, and let God lead me back to reason?" "I'm not sick, I'm furious!" "Life is agony, people vile, and You don't exist!" "If You do, we're just cockroaches to You." "Fuck it." "Stop yelling, you'll suffocate!" "Get help, someone's dead!" "There she was, beside me," "in the car." "So damn lovely." "Burnished tan, contours..." "I hadn't touched her, but I already felt her warmth." "I drove for miles to prolong the pleasure." "Restraint makes it better." "The taste of it filled my mouth." "My constant burden was lifted." "I felt happy for the first time in 7 months." "I was back home." "I Iike driving drunk." "Life slows down." "I'm fine." "Everything flows along." "I Iike it." "Staying just drunk enough is hard." "The bottle calls out." "Near St-Jérôme, I had a great idea." "Finish the job." "A visitor, Mme Caron." "Hello." "What do you want?" "I'm Gérard Langlois." "I lived in the building where your husband died." "Was he with you?" "Did you know him?" "You know why he was there?" "What do you want?" "I dunno." "You don't?" "You barge in and do this for no reason?" " Shall I show him out?" " No, leave us." "Why are you here?" "I should have died, madam." "It's only by chance I'm alive." "An untied shoelace." "It delayed me long enough to get into a car accident with a Chinese," "which I wouldn't have had." "I was sober." "So, I wasn't home when the house blew up." "It's funny!" "An undone shoelace." "Pardon me." "Mr Langlois?" "Am I to understand a shoelace saved you, and you want to know why my husband died?" " Sorry to bother you. I'll go." " Stay." "Please, stay." "I can tell you why, if you want to know:" "He was making love to another woman." "That's funny too, eh?" "How trivial we are. I won't say with whom, although I know." "He told me everything." "He loved me." "He made love to her because I no longer could." "Would you care to know why not?" "You want details, medical files?" "Do the why's interest you?" "There are no why's." "All that counts is how." "How you get had." "How to deal with suffering." "How the body gives out." "Want to know anything else?" "No, madam." "Forgive me." "What shame..." "If I were brave or impulsive," "I'd have killed myself." "How I ended up in Maniwaki, I can't really say." "Took a left at Grand Remous." "Seems I drank for 2 days." "The barmen carried me to bed." "Seems that hunting season ended on the second day." "It was the antler festival." "Seems I acted the fool." " Leave that poor deer alone." " Whadya want?" "Get lost!" " Don't talk to me that way!" " Sit down!" " Leave that alone, goddamnit!" " Let go!" " Christ!" " Kick him out!" "Go to hell!" "Among the things not to do at Maniwaki's antler festival, stealing antlers probably ranks third," "right after cruising the hunters'girIfriends, and bothering Natives on the reserve." "If anything, a Iong, tormented life taught me that tact dissolves in alcohol." "That sonofabitch is back!" "Guys, go out back." "The S.Q. drove me to town." "City cops wanted me in connection with François's recent death." "Nothing like 300 k. in a cruiser for brooding over absurdity." "The whole story hit me like a ton of bricks." "The explosion, little Josée, her dad dead over some coke, the disabled woman." "AII the sordid deaths, and me, alive." "I was questioned by 2 cops." "I mentioned all but the tavern." "I wasn't the type to kill a man twice my size with a 16'beam." "I promised to stick around town, so they set me loose." "I was a drowning man, struggling for air." "Except, my air... was Scotch." "Every binge lasts... days, weeks, sometimes years," "depending on the suffering, the void to be filled," "the rage to slake." "Sir!" "Mister!" "Are you OK?" "Go call an ambulance!" "Come here." "Hold on, help is coming." ""I've gone to Drunkard's hell"" " my thought when I came to." "She came into focus slowly, but there she was:" "cute taupe blazer, rust scarf," "italian purse, subtle perfume..." "unnameabIe, yet so expensive." "Nice work, Gérard." "You're too old for this!" "I've better things to do I thought this was over!" "No more pity from me." "I've picked you up 20 times." "Grabbing cabs back and forth." "I'm fed up." "Don't you get it?" "It was over." "Some binges just stop." "The beast retreats, and we return to humanity and reason." "That night, she took me home." "She washed my clothes and made chicken soup." "Why she's so kind to me, I don't know." "Guess I shouldn't analyze, just say thank you." "Then the hulks came." "I didn't even see it coming." "Ended up in Maniwaki jail." "The Maniwaki Antler Festival..." "These things happen only to you." "Your ridiculous antics make me remember why I married you." "Why did you marry me?" "Because you're impulsive." "You're unpredictable." "That's also why I left you." "Good night." "You are wonderful." "Yes, I know." "I know." "Good night." "G'night, Chantal." "I'm Gérard, an alcoholic." "I've been dry 3 days." "Before that, 7 months." "When I celebrated my 6 months of sobriety, I got this tag." "It says, "Call before,"" "and I should have." "But I'm proud." "I could see this binge coming, but I didn't call." "I'm proud." "My pride will kill me." "Should've died 2 weeks ago." "My apartment block blew up." "But I wasn't home." "By chance. I should've been." "There was..." "A 4-year-old girl died." "Her name was Josée." "I should've thought God gave me a break." "I could've died and now I have 20 years left... to live properly." "But I spurned this." "I went on a binge." "One hell of a binge." "So I'm starting over." "I have 72 hours behind me." "I'd like to read something." "Some of you may know it." ""Humility pacifies the heart." "It dispels trouble." "It means never being angry, upset, irritated or pained." "It means taking things in stride and not taking things personally," "staying calm when praise is scarce and if mocked or scorned, finding a shrine within where l can go, close the door," "kneel before God in secret, be in peace, as upon a deep, calm sea" "in the middle of a storm."" "Thanks for listening." "Hello." "May I have coffee, please?" "It's there, help yourself." "I'm sorry, Gérard." "I was worried." "You were right. I snooped around and look what happened." "Your Coroner friend called." " Really?" " Yeah." "They found your neighbour." "Good!" "Go ahead and call if you want." "Yes..." "He was my downstairs neighbour." "The night of the fire, karl was arrested at St. Catherine and Beaudry." "He was naked, incoherent, and completely wired." "He was taken to a psych ward." "The defaced woman was claimed by her family." "Her name was Eve Dubuc." "karl's ex-girIfriend." "AngéIa came to the hospital." "karl was manic-depressive." "He'd stopped taking his lithium, and had a breakdown." "Hello." "I'm your neighbour." "Darling St." "What happened the night of the fire?" "Do you remember?" "Remember the explosion?" "The night you were arrested." "I wanted to go to Portugal." "Sir!" "Lithium impedes my reading." "I can't read any more." "karl's story haunted me." "It was so absurd." "His madness saved his life." "He survived, then sank into despair." "It started when he pitched his lithium." "normal life was stifling." "He missed his highs." "He instantly came alive." "Ideas simmered, his mind soared." "He wrote poems on scrap paper." "He longed to go to portugal." "He never slept." "He felt superhuman energy, boundless ability." "The night of the blast, he was completely gone." "He felt huge, invulnerable." "reality was just a detail." "Karl, it's Eve!" "Open up, Karl!" "Open up!" "He had to go." "He considered flying out the window, but took the roof." "He started running." "He was tall, handsome." "Nothing would stop him." "Anything was possible." "It was Eve." "She knew something was wrong." "She looked everywhere for karl." "Something caught her eye - a souvenir, an object, a note..." "I'II never know." "But she stayed." "I'd never be sure of what happened." "AII I knew was innocent people had died." "Those who survived owed it to chance." "Young Patrick, too stoned to go home." "karl, in full psychotic delirium." "And me, because my shoelace was untied." "Fate isn't selective." "Geoffrion was by the site." "It was to be levelled for construction." "End of investigation." "Cause of explosion: unknown." "We shook hands." "He went away." "It was over." "I'd lost my verve." "My bubble had burst." "I was no wiser or happier, but I was alive." "My name's Gérard." "I'm an alcoholic." "I've been dry 6 months, 2 days." "I should tell what happened after Geoffrion left the ruins of my home." "I don't want to." "I will say, I went to AngéIa's and she let me in." "I don't know what it means or where it'll lead." "I'II find out in good time." "Sometimes, life zaps a fastball right into the strike zone." "You gotta hit it." "AngéIa's back home visiting her kids in the foster home." "I await her." "When she returns, I might embrace her, or just let her be awhile." "I'II play it by ear." "I will take care of her though." "I'II be attentive." "Later on, if we so desire, we'II go out and have lobster." "Adaptation:" "Fleming/Bolduc Anrá Médiatextes, Montreal"