"Thisstorytakesplace within the borders of a great, enlightened and civilized country." "This is the story of a certain city and what it did about this common curse that plagued the land." "This is the story of Anyburg, USA." "Now, the traffic situation in Anyburg was normal enough." "Certainly no worse than in any similar community." "Butwhatwas different in Anyburg was a certain growing feeling of dissatisfaction with their traffic troubles." "Homicide on the highways was increasing at a startling rate." "And the Anyburgers found they were becoming somewhat annoyed." "In fact, good and sore." "It was very obvious to them who was at fault." "The automobile." "And so, the automobile was placed on trial for its life." "Will the prosecutor proceed with the cross-examination?" "Ladies and gentlemen, behold." "On the stand a representative of this criminal band!" "Boo!" "You are an automobile." "Are you not?" "Uh... uh... well, I uh..." "Answer the question, you rattling old pot." "Your Honor, I beg leave to consult with the witness." "These legal proceedings are scaring him witless." "Objection!" "Permission is granted." "Now, calm yourself, Lizzy." "Don't get in a tizzy." "The judge is supposed to be in neutral." "But is he?" "Enough coddling." "I've got to be... uh, toddling." "Isn't it the absolute truth that you roared through a 20 mile zone flagrantly making of our speed laws a mockery?" "That you then did crash into a restaurant and smash all the crockery?" "And that you then did callously sneak away, leaving behind a shambles?" "And ruined digestion?" "Well, yes, I guess I..." " Your witness." " No questions." "Next witness." "And now I've placed upon the stand a culprit known as sports car." "His crime?" "Just guzzling alcohol and spitting flames." "And that's far from all." "He takes delight in burning rubber screeching tires and racing as if off to fire." "Do you deny these things are so?" "Yeah, man, I guess you ought to know." "Ho!" "A hopeless case beyond suggestions." "Your witness, now, sir." "No questions." "Ha ha ha ha." "And next, ladies and gentlemen, gaze upon this decrepit old heap." "He's got only one eye and no brakes at all, and just enough power to creep." "Just hear how he rattles." "Observe his worn tires." "He's the type every safety test shuns!" "I turn this renegade over to you." "Do you wish to examine him now, sir?" " Hmm?" " No questions." "And now, give ear to the testimony of those dedicated, devoted men who tried to help the automobile." "Let them proceed with the testimony." "I built the cars with bodies of steel." "And I invented the safety wheel." "We developed safety tires." "And windshield wipers the law requires." "I'm the father of safety glass." "We strove for safety." "Alas, accidents continue to grow." "And so the automobile has got to go!" "Go, go, go, go!" "Mr. Sirus P. Sliderule of the Bureau of Highways, would you please tell us, sir, of your department's valiant efforts to pave the way for safety for the automobile?" "# I used my brains and hired some brawn" "# We labored late from early dawn" "# Leveling hills Straightening byways" "# Building concrete superhighways" "# We posted them with helpful signs" "# Divided them with curbs and lines" "# My roads were perfect I must confess" "# But those miserable autos made them all a mess" "Yes, yes, we know only too well what happened on your beautiful highways." "To the automobiles' depraved mind, these perfect roads were an invitation to open the throttle, step on the gas." "They took delight in following close behind each other." "With spectacular and disastrous results." "Oh!" "There's only one end to this tale of woe." "The automobile has got to go!" "Ladies and gentlemen," "I rest my case." "I know you will bring in without delay a verdict of guilty!" "And now, what has the attorney for the defense got to say?" "Mmm?" "With your indulgence, I'll set the scene." "Please gaze upon my magic screen." "Now, what appears before your eyes?" "A speeding automobile, would you surmise?" "Let's fade the car out, if we can." "And what's revealed?" "A speeding man!" "OK, baby, let's see if we can do 90." "Hm?" "Can't let that train beat me to the crossing." "Come on, come on!" "Clear the road!" "Little does this chap realize he's heading straight towards his demise." "Your car's body is made of steel, but alas, frail human bodies are harder to heal." "Now, would you call this car a drunk?" "No, sir, not at all." "It's the people inside it who have had alcohol." "# We won't get home until morning" "# We won't get home until morning" "To mix alcohol with driving is rash." "Note the result, the inevitable..." "Now, here's the police line-up." "All violators." "Look 'em over, ordinary citizens." "OK, take this one." "What's the charge?" "Reckless driving, two counts." "Looks harmless." "Well, take another look." "Here's how harmless he is." "Take this sweet young thing." "The charge, hit and run." "Now, take a closer look." "Could be shoot and run just as well." "Take this mild-mannered gentleman." "He's a speeder." "A three-time offender." "Let's get him into correct focus." "This is no exaggeration." "Look out for him." "Lights, please." "I think we all know who the criminal in this case really is." "It's you." "And you." "And it's me too." "Hey, where did everybody go?" "Ha ha." "They've seen the light of day." "The trial is done and you have won." "Theresultsof thistrial were far-reaching." "People all over the country took it upon themselves to drive with politeness and consideration." "Safety and sanity returned to the highway." "The motor millennium had arrived." "But not for long." "Well, it was a nice try." "And where there's life, there's hope." "Let's hope."