"FULL MOON IN PARIS" ""He who has two women loses his soul, he who has two houses loses his mind."" "NOVEMBER" "Octave?" "It's Louise." "Sorry I didn't call yesterday." "I couldn't." "Are we on for tonight?" "You'll pick me up at work..." "at 6 p.m.?" "No, I have to hurry..." "I don't think he's coming." "See you tonight. 'Bye." "So what about tonight?" "You haven't even said if you're coming!" "Do you mind if I come?" "No, but you'll be bored." "How'll you get home?" "First train, tomorrow." "Where'll you wait for it?" " I don't know." "In a café." " You'll be worn out again." "Tomorrow's Saturday." "I can sleep all day." "Since I started work, I've quit going out." "That's what wears me out!" "I have no life of my own!" "Come off it." "I should do the complaining." "You get in later every night." "Soon you'll only come home to sleep!" "I just visit my friends!" "That's hardly going out!" "But tonight I am, and I want to make the most of it." "I need to stay up all night now and then." "Don't take it personally." "That's how I am." "If you don't want to, don't come." "But we live together!" "We should go out together, no?" "Not if it isn't mutual." "One of us shouldn't force the other to do things he doesn't like." "I never said I didn't like going out with you." "But you keep such hours!" "They may not suit you, but they suit me fine." "Tomorrow I'll sleep." "You'll play tennis." "I understand that." "Try and understand me." "Listen..." "Take your pick:" "If I come, we leave reasonably early." "If I don't, you get home on your own." "Drop in on the party and go home alone." "It's simple." "I won't come at all." "That's even simpler." "Then don't!" "'Bye!" "Morning, Louise." "See you all tomorrow!" "'Bye, Louise!" "I have to stop by my place." " Me too." "My place." " All the way out there?" "Not in the suburbs." "My place in Paris." "You know I have a room." "But you rented it out!" "The girl's gone away, so I'm using it." "Come see it." "Now's your chance!" "I'll show you..." "Snazzy building!" "There." "It's big!" "Sure." "You're repainting all this?" "My friends are helping me." "Care to join us?" "I have no talent for that." "You're a real handywoman." "One'd never guess!" "Why not?" "Because you look so ethereal." "Whereas you're really very physical, practical, down to earth." "Want some coffee?" "Are you painting your home, too?" "You know this is really my home." "I mean your guy's place." "No need." "It's brand new." "Must be incredibly boring!" "Less than I expected." "Come visit us." "Suburbs depress me." "How could you bury yourself out there!" "Rémi got a wonderful job... in the new town's planning department." "May I sit down?" "Sorry, I forgot." "I don't believe in 'new towns'." "He believes in them." "He could have lived in Paris." "It's twice as expensive!" "And he feels it's more honest to live on the premises." "If he was building a prison, would he live there?" "Knowing him, he probably would." "And you'd go along?" "Even now, I haven't really gone along." "I kept this room and left most of my things in it." "Where will you put them now?" " Now?" " Once it's rented." "It's not for rent anymore." "Then why are you painting it?" "For myself." "I need a pied-à-terre." "That sounds dangerous to me!" "Maybe, but I intend to be careful." "You're here because it's not finished." "Once it is, no one gets in." "I need to spend time alone." "Really alone." "Even if I left Rémi, and I'm not about to," "I wouldn't live with anyone else." "Since I was 15 years old," "I've never spent any time all by myself." "When I left the first guy I lived with," "I moved straight in with the next one." "It was a smooth transition." "I got fonder of the new guy as I lost interest in the old one." "The one experience I've missed is loneliness, and the pain it causes." "Loneliness is no fun at all." "I'll soon see." "But I want to find out for myself." "Who's stopping you?" "Other people." "Mostly, the people who love me." "They love me too much." "Ever loved anyone who didn't love you?" "Be honest!" "Honestly, I don't think so." "Unlike most people, I can't imagine... loving someone who disapproved of me or ignored me." "The other person's desire brings out mine." "That can be explained." "But you won't like this." "Shoot!" "You're very beautiful." "You appeal to lots of men... some of whom are quite interesting." "But a few dimwits don't go for you." " What if I don't like them?" " Wait!" "They don't go for you, and you sense it." "So you panic." "You can't stand failure, so you settle for men who are way beneath you." "To be on the safe side." "A mistake: interesting men would like you even more." "What nonsense!" "I'm not saying you do it consciously." "You don't realize it." "But it's true." "It isn't." "I've only liked interesting and choosy guys." "No, they're neither!" "You could do much better." "What do you mean 'better'?" "You don't have to like Rémi and I don't have to like your wife." "But I do like her." "You go well together." "Well, you and Rémi don't!" "And you don't love him." "Or you wouldn't be moving out." "I'm not moving out." "I like to go out, he doesn't." "It's our only disagreement." "Everything else is fine." "He has to get up earlier." "I have no car and I won't turn him into my driver." "That's all." "So this room is good for both of us." "If I sleep here now and then," "I won't wake him up when I come home." "Does he agree?" "I don't know." "I haven't told him yet." "You haven't?" "Well!" "Will you dare?" "Sure." "Even if it creates a scene." "You bet it will!" "Good." "That way you'll have an excuse to leave him." "I don't want to." "On the contrary." "I want to love him." "And keep him." "The only reason I can't is that he loves me too much." "When someone loves me too much, I love them less." "Figures!" "You're so superior to him." "Not to be mean, but as a couple you're clearly disintegrating." "You display all the symptoms." "It's irreversible." "You are mean." "I'm trying an experiment." "If he understands and makes a tiny effort, it'll be wonderful." "A woman is sensitive to a man's efforts." "It really moves her." "I'm not asking much of him." "For him, it's an enormous amount!" "Why couldn't he do something enormous for me?" "If he loves me as much as he says." "I'll get dressed." "If you want to stop home, go now." "It's a bit early." "Agathe must be putting the kid to bed." "I'd disturb her." "Then she's off to her concert." "If you don't mind, I'll stay here." "I have an article to finish." "Sure, but it'll take me a good half hour." "Fine." "Me too." "Careful." "We mustn't wake the kid." " Is she alone?" " No, there's a sitter." "She'll see you with me!" "Big deal!" "Am I disturbing?" "Not at all." "Were you studying?" " Just reading." " Good." "Is she asleep?" "Yes, it's been 10 minutes." "Fine." "I'm going out in a half hour." "OK, have a good time." "Sit down." "Take off your coat." "Your wife's very pretty." "You shouldn't neglect her." "I don't!" "You think I don't love Agathe?" "You're wrong." "People think I'm never with her." "Lies!" "We're together most of the time." "My articles and her music mean we don't keep regular hours." "So we're home all day." "We're apart evenings, and not all of them." "And for fewer hours than if I had an office job." "Anyway, I need to be apart to get ideas, she knows that." "Would you like to have a child someday?" "Someday, maybe, but not now." "One should have kids at 16 or 18, when you're unaware... of what it's all about." "Or at 30, when you know where you're headed." "Does he want kids?" "Every guy I've ever known did." "Of course." "It's a way of holding on to you!" "I used to feel that having kids... meant becoming one of those awful settled people...." "But I think I've avoided it." "At least I hope so." "But it's a real struggle avoiding getting bogged down in it." "I know." "I don't feel grown up yet, and I'm in no hurry to be." "Rémi feels he is, and wants me to be so too." "He's killing off my youth." "And some aspects of my youth really matter to me:" "like going out with my friends..." "Meeting new people..." "Going dancing..." "Not always making plans for Sundays or evenings." "That's what he keeps me from." "Being old is when you give up wanting to be seductive." "I'm young, but I don't need to seduce everyone all the time like you." "You seduce people without realizing it." "Only normal." "People who've given up seduction are dead, worse than dead." "I enjoy seducing, that's all." "I like it as an end in itself." "Whether it's consummated or not, I mean physically." "The physical side doesn't interest me." "I've never had a purely physical relationship." "Nonetheless, I wouldn't mind if, now and then, you had a consummated physical relationship, but not with a 'physical' man." "With me, for instance." "Don't you like me?" "I like you, but you don't attract me." "That's just what you need:" "a man who doesn't attract you in an animal way, as all your guys do, including the present one." "You're crazy!" "Anyway, I'm very attracted to you." "But since you insist, I control it." "Careful, the sitter might come in." "Don't worry, she's very discreet." "So you're just scared she might see us?" "Stop it, Octave!" "Are you mad?" "I don't want to." "I respect you more than anyone." "There's something so virginal about you, a fierce Amazon look, that won't desert you." "I don't dare touch you, but I can't bear it if others do." "Thinking of you in a man's arms is unbearable!" "Especially as the men you date have an animality that is pathetically beastly!" "Beastly!" "That's all you can say." "You're beastly too in your own way." "Great to see you." "You know Octave?" "How's your job?" "It's OK." "I'm a bit of an underling." "Which is tough when you're full of ideas." "But you still do your own work on the side?" "Sure, housepainting, plasterwork, plumbing!" "But I also make lamps!" "Really." "That interests me because..." "You must show them to me." " You know I live close to you." " Really?" "I found a 1930's house in Emmerainville." "It's lovely." "In Paris I was spreading myself too thin." "How's Rémi?" "He's fine." "He has lots of work." "He may stop by." "I think he's given up going out." "You still go out a lot?" "No, not much." "Growing old and wise?" "No." "Fewer opportunities, that's all." "Right." "How do you get to Paris?" "Got a car?" "No, but I live near the station." "Hasn't Rémi found you a job out there?" "Working where I live wouldn't be much fun." "I understand." "It's the opposite of how he feels, but..." "On that score, we're miles apart!" "Speak of the devil!" "Having fun?" "How are things?" "Fine." "And you?" "She lives near us now." "Really?" "Since when?" "About a month." "A great place:" "there's room for my workshop." "I even have a girlfriend living at home who works with me." "How's Xavier?" "Xavier..." "That's all over." "So it goes!" "Excuse me." "You don't dance?" " How come?" " Because I'm a lousy dancer." "But you're an athlete!" "No connection." "In fact, dancing's bad for training." "But that's not why." "Still play tennis?" "More than ever." "There's an indoor court at Fontenay." "And you?" "No more." "Because I'm hopeless." "Marianne, the girl I live with, tried to improve me." "She's great." "She's almost a pro." "Yes, Marianne." "That's her." "Doesn't stop her from dancing!" "What?" "Nothing special." "You know Rémi?" "No, I don't know Rémi." " Coming?" " No, and I'm going home." "Already!" "I'm leaving." "You coming?" "No, I told you." "I'm staying." " How'll you get back?" " I'll manage." "Camille, will you drive me?" "Sure." "Don't force her to stay." "She's staying anyway." "You staying?" "Yes, for a while." "Stay too, Rémi." "When'll you leave?" "I don't know, soon." "Look, we're having a good time." "If you're bored, you can leave." "OK." "Thanks, Camille." "Sorry, I didn't want to make a scene..." "Stop it, please." "Be nice." "The one time I'm having fun." "So have fun." "I'm not stopping you." "I'm going home." "Try and understand me." "You're bored, but for me it's a real treat." "Sure, stop crying." "I'm going home." "I'm so sad you're angry." "I'm not angry." "Let go of me." "What's wrong?" "You're crying?" "The evening's ruined now." "Does that sound trivial?" "He makes himself miserable, and me too." "And yet we're so close to being happy together." "Let's go to the buffet." "When I'm sad, I don't lose my appetite." "On the contrary!" "You overdo it with Rémi." "You know he's violent, yet you're always baiting him." "Look, he said he wouldn't come, but he did." "He's always on my coattails." "People who live together go out together." "It's only normal." "I'd never have let Xavier go out without me." "Well, I would." "I wish Rémi'd go out alone." "With friends?" "Even girlfriends." "Like you." "I trust you." "Me?" "Sure, why not?" "But other girls?" "I tell you, I trust him." "What if he fell in love?" "It happens." "I don't think he wants to fall in love." "But it can happen, want it or not." "Well, if it has to happen, it will." "It'll mean he's quit loving me." "And if he quits loving me, so will I." "Sorry." "I woke you up." "I wasn't asleep." "Don't worry about me." "I'll read." "Forgive me." "For what?" "You didn't wake me." "I said I wasn't asleep." "I mean for what happened." "I was unpleasant." "I know it." "Let's not argue." "Go to bed." "So at least one of us gets some sleep." "OK." "I'm really sorry." "Sorry." "That's all you can say!" "If you're sorry, be sorry." "If you're not, don't say it." "Be honest." "You're perfectly happy." "At least one of us is!" "I want you to be happy." "That's asking a bit much." "But if you insist, I'll be happy." "I'm happy." "I'm a happy idiot!" "Let me live in my happy idiocy!" "Go to bed!" "Are you scared?" "Don't worry, I won't beat you up!" "If I beat up anyone, it'll be me." "The idiot, the halfwit!" "It's my business." "I can hit myself even harder!" "It doesn't do you a bit of harm!" "Don't shout!" "I'm OK." "No damage." "Leave me alone." "Sorry." "I don't know what got into me." "Really, I didn't mean to displease you last night." "You didn't." "No more than any other day." "But don't expect me to be 'pleased', if you delight in every minute you spend away from me." "You make a scene if we're apart for five minutes!" "Because you do it to annoy me." "You're like a kid trying to escape its parents." "I'm not your father." "When we go out, you play hide-and-seek." "I look idiotic!" "Why go last night if you were bored?" "Sure." "I shouldn't have gone." "Your friends bug me." "I can't tell you how much!" "Especially that Octave!" "What do you see in him?" "You saw how he greeted me?" "At least teach him manners!" "The less I see of him, the better." "You don't mind if I see him?" "You don't need my OK." "I do!" "So you can't say I do things behind your back." "I've wanted to talk to you about something for a long time." "This may not be the right time, but who knows, since we're talking, let's try and solve it." "Solve what?" "I'll tell you, but promise you won't get mad." "Why should I get mad?" "It'll make you mad." "It has to." "You scare me!" "No, it's something I'm doing for you, not to annoy you." "Then it won't make me mad." "No, it will." "You'll see the negative side, not the positive." "OK." "Go ahead." "You won't get mad?" "After what happened, I'm unable to react to anything." "You picked the right time." "What is it?" "I've had a thought: if you agree to it, it may be the solution." "You really want us both to be happy?" "Me with you and you with me?" "We'll have no secrets, and I'll always feel at ease?" "Sure." "What is it?" "This week I started repainting my apartment." "To rent it?" "To sell it?" "No." "To live in it." "What?" "Don't worry." "It's not to split us up." "You don't want us to go live there?" "Of course not." "But now I'm earning a tiny bit of money," "I can afford not to rent it anymore." "Or I'd have to get rid of a lot of possessions I love, and that would only clutter up this place." "But there's room here." "You can't keep a flat just to store your furniture." "Not just for that." "I need a pied-à-terre." "To work in?" "Maybe." "But also to sleep in." "Alone, like a good little girl." "Sure." "I should've guessed." "Listen, if I'd slept there last night, I wouldn't have woken you." "I wasn't asleep." "Stop." "I'm saying this for you more than for me." "Don't try and justify things." "I can't help it, if you don't love me." "But I do love you." "You know it." "I know nothing about you." "You're a real mystery." "You only tell me once it's done." "I'd tell you everything, but you're so suspicious." "Being sociable isn't a crime!" " I have friends." "So do you." " Mine are men." "So are mine." "I see only men." "I wouldn't mind if yours were female." "I don't want any." "I care only about you." "You talked to Camille all evening!" "Did I care?" "She was Xavier's girlfriend, that's why." "But she's left him..." "She finds you very attractive." "She told me she'd like to go out with you." "Don't!" "It's not funny." "OK..." "But I really mean it about my apartment." "Saturday mornings, you get up early to play tennis, after going to bed early." "Whereas on Friday nights, I'm asked out a lot and..." "I don't have to get up the next day." "You're so wrong to think I don't love you." "To love someone deeply, I have to love him from afar now and then." "If you loved me as I love you, we'd be married now." "And divorced!" "Listen..." "There's one thing you must know." "I've loved you more than anyone." "I know why it never worked with the others." "After a while, they all wanted to marry me." "Letting me sleep in Paris now and then would be the best way to save our love." "Afterwards, we'll see." "Afterwards?" "You won't stop at that!" "Next you'll want a lover to save our love." "But I won't buy it." "Since meeting you, I haven't been attracted to anyone." "But it could happen." " In theory, yes." " So?" "I'll never have a lover, as you say." "How about this for a deal:" "if I meet anyone I love more than you, to whom I'm more attracted, I'll tell you, and we'll split up without any fuss." "What a deal!" "It's all to your advantage." "What do I get?" "The assurance that I love you most:" "try as I may, I can't replace you." "You'll manage, for sure." "Don't trust your sex-appeal?" "No one's irreplaceable." "If you look, you'll find." "You don't dare look:" "you might find someone." "No, that's putting it the wrong way." "I love you and seek no further." "You're the ultimate." "I think you can find better:" "someone who'd want to be with you constantly." "And if you find her, and love her," "I swear I'll step aside." "But it'll be very painful, very..." "DECEMBER" "So how much do I owe you?" "We said 2 000." "But it took you longer." " How about 2 500?" " I'm embarrassed." "Let's celebrate it." "Come home for dinner?" "I'm busy tonight." "Some other day." "Bring your boyfriend." "You don't have to ask him." "He hates going out." "Invite anyone you want." "You really won't rent your place?" "No." "Look how great it is now." "It'd be perfect for Nathalie's sister." "I know, I'm sorry, but..." "You must have a reason..." "It's not what you think!" "I don't think anything." "You'd better not!" "You're busy?" "You should've told me." "I understand..." "You couldn't know..." "Call me Monday at work." "'Bye." "Octave?" "It seems I'm free after all." "Finding someone at this hour isn't easy..." "Go home?" "Never." "I'd rather die." "Have a nice evening!" "Hi, could I speak to Martin, please?" "It's Louise." "I'll call back." "Hi, Etienne." "It's Louise." "Of course it's me!" "You forgot me, but I didn't forget you." "OK, if you're in a rush, I'll hang up." "Call me Monday at work." "Octave!" "I was up." "In the end, I didn't go out last night." "I stayed home." "I really wanted to be alone." "It's true." "I mean everything I told you about my need to be alone." "Know what I did?" "Stayed in bed." "I read for 2 whole hours." "It was wonderful." "I hadn't done that in ages." "This afternoon I'm going back." "I'm having lunch with a friend." "Stanislas." "Know who I mean?" "Then I'm going shopping." "Your bandage is holding up well." "Guess I ought to buy a new one." " It's cold." "Do you want some?" " No, thanks." "Open it." "It's for you." "Now then..." "Thanks to this ingenious lining, your tea will never get cold, sir." " Like it?" " It's superb." "Nothing could please me more." "What do I owe you?" "Come on, it's a present for you." " Did you play well?" " Not too badly." " Sleep well?" " Not too badly..." "And you?" "Wonderfully." "I shouldn't tell you." "It'd give you too much satisfaction." "Then don't!" "I love you so much more than you think." "JANUARY" "People say I'm so social." "It's not true." "Social people always stick to the same crowd." "They think Paris is a village." "I love neutral places like this, cafés that have no regular crowd, steeped in anonymity." "They really inspire me." "Next week I'll come here to write." "Some writers go to the country to write." "Baffles me!" "Could you live in the country?" "I couldn't live there." "I've got nothing against nature." "But it tenses me up." "In the morning it's terrifying!" "As the sun chases the mist off the fields!" "Dead of noon with its buzzing of wasps!" "The calm of the evenings..." "In Paris I'm not tense." "The air is foul, but I can breathe." "There the air is fresh, but I choke on it." "I need to be at the 'centre' of a country, in a city that is almost the centre of the world." "I used to teach in Orleans." "I could've found a room there." "But I preferred commuting by train to Paris." "To do what?" "Often I just read or listened to the radio." "I travelled back to Paris to listen to the radio!" "But the streets were there, with their movie-houses, restaurants, the fabulous women I might meet." "A myriad possibilities were out there waiting." "I only had to go downstairs..." "Wait, I want to write this down." "It's not bad." "It has nothing to do with our talk, but I like it." "Just a second..." "Take your time." "Be right back." "Want to get out?" "There." "Go on." "I found my sentence." "It's done." "Shall we go?" "Wait." "What is it?" " Did you see?" " What?" " Rémi." " He's here?" "I hope he left." "Did he see you?" "I doubt it." "He came down just as I opened the door." "I had time to close it." "He went to phone." "So I waited till he was through." "You're sure it was him?" "Yes!" "Unless I imagined it!" "This is the last place I expected to see him." "You're shaking!" "It was quite a shock!" "I'm doing no wrong, but I hate being in a spot." "He didn't see me." "Nor you." "Or he wouldn't have gone down." "No, he didn't see me..." "But..." " What?" " I guess I ought to tell you." "At one point I looked up from my notebook, and I saw a girl looking at me." "Then she turned away and disappeared round the corner." "All girls look at you, Octave!" "I had a vague feeling I knew her." "I won't swear to it, but she could've been your friend..." "The one who was at that party..." "Camille?" "Perhaps." "Some girl I've met with you." "But you know Camille!" "I guess I do." "But my memory is selective." "I don't recognize people who bore me." "Hers isn't a face one easily forgets." "Speak for yourself." "And she wore a strange hat..." " A toque?" " Right." "Then it must be her." "And she had to be with him!" "It's not possible!" "Believe me, anything's possible." "But not that!" "2 months ago, I told Rémi... he should go out with her, as a joke, because she, as a joke, had said she wanted to." "So they both took me up!" "You have an obedient fiancé and... a devoted girlfriend." "Maybe they were spying on us." "As a couple?" "Maybe they ran into each other." "And then they ran into us?" "Too many coincidences!" "I have an explanation, but it's so cerebral that..." "No, I'll tell you:" "it's so implausible that it couldn't upset you." "No, it doesn't make any sense." "Well?" "You don't think they followed your advice." "That'd be too good to be true!" "Yet you admit they met, and not by chance." "So what's left?" "That they had decided to meet before... before you suggested it." "Get it?" "They managed to make you advise them to do... what they were already doing." "No wonder your guy let you have a place in town." "You knew they knew each other?" "Of course not." "I'm making all this up." "He knew her." "Before knowing me." "You mean I hit the bull's-eye?" "She's his ex?" "Not at all." "She used to go with a friend of his." "That's how he knew her." "And he found her quite boring." "Are you sure?" "Anyway, she just broke up with that guy..." "You don't say!" "Rémi doesn't get involved in people's love affairs, unless it's for business reasons." "Business reasons!" "That's a good one!" "Enough, Octave." "Hold it, or I'll really think I hit the bull's-eye." "Camille called you." "She wants you to call her back." "I want to put my things away." "Hey, please..." "She may be gone by then." "One moment." "It's come out." "At last!" "That's great." "Excuse me." "She just got here." "It's Camille." "What?" "She's going to stop by." "I'll take it upstairs." "Go in." "I thought you'd like these catalogues." "How great!" "Where did you get them?" "In Milan." "I was in Italy." "Didn't you know?" "No, how would I know?" "You are close to the station." "This is where you work?" "But I don't work much now:" "my place in town takes all my time." "I make lamps with these incredible new bulbs." "The light is reflected by mirrors." "I get the ends and the pedestal painted." "I pick the colours." "It's pretty." "I'd rather show you one that's finished." "Come upstairs." "This is it." "It's very pretty." "A new kind of bulb." "Doesn't overheat." "I like it very much." "I had a lot of fun." "You should come to Italy with me some day." "Yes, if I ever get the time." "I know tons of people there." "Hey, I have a new boyfriend!" "I went there with him." "Oh?" "Congratulations." "I'm very happy." "I really like him." "He works with an Italian company." "We met some very interesting people." "He goes there often, so I went with him." "When did you get back?" "Yesterday." "By plane?" "Yes." "What time did your plane land?" "At 10 p.m. Should've been 9.30 p.m., but it was late." "Why do you ask?" "Just like that." "What do you want to know?" "The flights?" "I've got a spare timetable." "Thanks, I'll find one." "Sneaking off for the weekend?" "No, not sneaking off." "Just wanted to know." "You're being very mysterious." "Anyway, I might as well tell you." "Someone saw you last night." "At the airport?" "No, in the Latin Quarter around 10 p.m." "Wasn't me." "Who told you that?" "A friend." "Why didn't you come right out and ask me?" "I thought I'd look like a fool." "It was sheer curiosity." "Your friend got it wrong." "Who was it?" "Octave." "What did he tell you?" "That he'd seen you." "What was his point?" "I don't know." "None." "Him again!" "That figures!" "Whenever I see him he pretends not to see me, but when I'm not there he sees me!" "I bet he also claims I ignored him." "No, he just said:" ""Hey, I saw your girlfriend"." "How thrilling!" "He wasn't even sure it was you." "Better and better." "He knows me very well." "What's all this about?" "But..." "You were..." "She was wearing a fur toque like yours." "Really." "What was she doing?" "Nothing special." "Anyway, it wasn't me." "And they sold lots of those fur toques." "Octave is really perverse, he's a cop." " Well?" " It wasn't her." "She got back from Italy by plane at 10 p.m." "Who told you?" "She did." "She stopped by the house Saturday." " She brought me a present." " From Italy?" "Yes, a catalogue." "Sure she didn't make up that whole trip?" "Why would she do that?" "I told you why." "I gave you a whole plot!" "It was the wrong plot." "She was away with her new lover." "She's moving in with him." " Sure?" " It's all over town." "Shall we sit down?" "A drink?" "So your mind's at rest." "I was never worried." "Sure you didn't invent that girl just to upset me?" "I did no such thing." "I saw that girl." "I saw a girl." "But you knew it wasn't Camille." "No, I'm lousy with faces." "Some I can't remember at all." "And I never said it was her." "I said she looked at me, and I thought I'd seen that look before." "But every time a woman looks at me it feels like déjà vu." "Maybe because every time a woman looks at a man, the look is so charged with the eternal feminine that there's nothing personal about it." "One doesn't see a woman:" "one sees woman." "And I was writing at the time." "Writers reinvent the world, not only on paper, but all around them." "So it was fiction." "You made it all up!" "If you want to put it that way." "Yet I saw the girl." "I did see a girl." "I didn't mean to upset you." "But I did." "All it takes is a hint that your man is with a soupçon... of another woman, and you panic!" "You couldn't be more wrong!" "If it was her, fine!" "But it wasn't." "Too bad!" "But you saw Rémi?" "Yes, unless I was hallucinating." "Anyway, he has every right to go to Paris." "And so do I." " On the sly?" " Sure." "And I won't ply him with questions." " So you'll never know." " Correct." "Who cares?" "If he doesn't ask me what I do in Paris, I won't ask him." "Anyway, I suspect that I have more fun than he does in town." "Having an overnight place was a brilliant idea." "Now we're both reconciled to it." "FEBRUARY" "There's orange juice left." "Want some?" "You're here?" "I just arrived." "A last-minute decision." "Is Rémi here?" " Thursday isn't your 'late' night!" " So what?" "I'm going back on the last train." "Come here a moment." "Who's that guy?" "I don't know..." "You with him?" "No." "He was here." "Great dancer!" "Agathe has the flu, I must get back." "See you tomorrow?" "Possibly." "What does that mean?" "You free or not?" " And you?" " I'm free." "You said you weren't sure." "Well, now I am." "I'm free." "Well, I'm not." " How come?" " Because." "I don't know yet." "I'll call you tomorrow, late afternoon." "You're hiding something from me!" "Like what?" "You see...because I went out tonight... maybe Rémi will..." "Don't let him." "Get back early tonight." "He'll be more lenient." "I intend to..." "I'll see you to the subway." "No need." "Won't help me and you'll be late." "Your wife's waiting for you." "So tomorrow's definite?" "I'll call you at seven." "Sorry, I had to talk to him." "Shall we dance?" "No, I have to go." "Already?" "It's not late." " It is..." "I live with a guy." " The one who was here?" "He's just a friend." "Someone else." "He didn't come." "He's waiting for me." "By the time I get back there..." "Where?" "Far." "In the suburbs." "How'll you get there?" "On the last train." "I can't miss it." "My buddy has a car." "We'll drive you." "That's no big help." "What are you doing tomorrow?" "I'm busy and then I'm leaving." "On tour." "I play sax in a band." "So call your boyfriend and stay tonight." "I can tomorrow." "As late as you want." "I have a rehearsal tomorrow." "It may end late." "I'll wait for you." "Till midnight, even later." "It won't last that long." "Can I phone you?" "When?" "Around 7 p.m." "That's fine." "Hi, Bastien." "So where'll we meet?" "Fine." "See you then." "'Bye." "This is Octave and Agathe." "We're out." "Please leave your number and we'll call back." "Hi, Octave." "It's Louise." "I'm busy tonight." "I'll call tomorrow." "Around noon." "'Bye." "I said I was busy." "I had told you." "I'll explain." "I'll call you tomorrow." "I'll explain, Octave." "I'm downstairs in a café." "Can I come up?" "No." "I'm in a rush." "Of course." "Who could be here?" "I told you I was rushed!" "You crazy?" "What is this?" "I wanted to see you, to kiss you." "You won't be late." "No need to make a scene!" "He's picking you up here?" "Look, I'm in a big rush." "Please leave now." "Then you're going home?" "A mistake." "Be firm with Rémi." "You're going out together?" "Where to?" "Someone's house." "Is that true?" "I'm in a rush." "Now, get out of here, will you?" " Who with?" " Get going!" " Enough!" " Who with?" "Look, I'm sick of your questions!" "You understand?" "One guy is all I can handle!" "Get out of my sight!" "Now you start, too!" "I thought you were a friend, leave me alone." "I'm late!" "It's last night's guy." "Who else could it be?" "Admit it." "You ashamed of him?" "I'm not ashamed." "But I know you hate him." "I don't get you." "You said things were fine with Rémi." "They are!" "That's why I can't resist temptations!" "What do you mean?" "If I didn't love Rémi," "I'd be defenceless:" "I wouldn't dare fall for a stranger." "You've fallen for him!" "Let's say he attracts me." "That doesn't happen to me so often." "How does he attract you?" "He attracts me." "Need I say more?" "To what extent?" "All the way, if you must know!" "That doesn't mean I'll go all the way." "You should understand." "That's what you do with girls." "Not with any old girl." "And I'm not like that with any old guy." "That's what's serious." "You have precise tastes." "You always wind up with the same type of guy." "I understand your need to please." "So cheat on your man, but not with guys beneath him." "Why not me?" "Don't start that again." "Are you crazy?" "I'm making perfect sense." "We'd get on much better." "We get on fine." "As well as one can!" "No!" "I'll prove it!" "It'd cure me of the insane jealousy I feel this instant." "How can you grant others what you deny me?" "If I'd slept with you, I could bear this." "I can't accept that one aspect of you is beyond my reach." "But you have all the rest, and it matters more!" "It's a tiny part." "It's not a tiny part." "It's huge." "Physical love is a total commitment." "OK." "But I'm committed to you in other ways." "Some things must be kept separate." "You enjoy it when I touch you." "Admit it." "As a friend, yes." "A tender friend." "Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but I know I appeal to you." "Of course." "Physically?" "In a way." "I don't like ugly people." "Am I handsome?" "In a way." "But you don't attract me." "You know that." "Which is better for our friendship, right?" "Don't ever do that!" " You hurt me!" " I'm sorry." "You OK?" "You really mustn't do things like that." "Our friendship means more than anything to me." "It's true." "I value it highly." "It's the only solid thing in my life right now." "You don't want to spoil it?" "Ready for your coffee?" " Morning, Miss." " Hi." "A small coffee and some mineral water." "I'll sit over there." "Fine." "Which do you prefer?" "What's it for?" "A children's book." "I draw while they sleep." "I get my inspiration from their dreams." "In cafés?" "No, this is an exception." "Usually..." "I draw during the day, like everyone else." "You don't?" "Sure." "I'm in interior design." " Fine Arts grad?" " Just got out." "I was there years ago." "What do you do now?" "Trainee, in a design firm." "You go to work early!" "No..." "Anyway, it's Saturday." "I see." "You didn't go to bed." "Good for you." "No one slept last night." "No one?" "Even people who went to bed." "Sorry, but how do you know that?" "Because of the full moon." "The full moon?" "Didn't you know?" "I never know when the moon is full or not." "You Parisians!" "As it happens, it's full tonight." "It keeps people like us awake." "I doubt it." "Anyway, I had a reason." "Don't exclude the moon." "I don't believe in that." "You really do?" "In my case, it's because I'm suggestible." "Now it's become a reflex." "If I lived alone, I'd have gone home." "But my place is so small I'd have woken my wife." "And she's so suggestible, though she doesn't realize it, that on full moon nights she sleeps very lightly." "So I... stay out in bars." "You live around here?" "No..." "Well, I have two apartments." "Lucky you!" "No." "It's hard to live in two places." "When I'm in one, I want to be in the other." "It used to work only in one direction." "But now the direction's reversed." "You live alone?" "No, I have a friend." "One in each place?" "No." "But last night there was one in each place." "Now I don't know where to go." "Toss a coin!" "I've decided." "In one flat, I can only live with one person." "And in the other, only by myself." "I tried taking someone there last night." "I nearly choked." "I had to get out of there." "Let's just say I'm claustrophobic." "I felt like a prisoner in my suburban apartment." "It was a kind of exile." "That's why I wanted a place in Paris." "I feel good in it." "It's like the centre of the world." "But last night the situation reversed itself." "Now this is exile, and the centre's out there." "You said there were men in your apartments." "Don't they have a say in the matter?" "Of course." "I'm simplifying." "I could tell you the story differently." "Let's say I live with a man who's too possessive." "I've managed to achieve a tiny measure of freedom." "At first he resisted, then he gradually understood me, even more than I expected." "It moved me." "So I cared less and less about myself, and more and more about him." "I felt sorry that he was so lonely." "But I didn't want to wind up loving him out of pity." "So to repress that pity," "I cheated on him with some guy I met." "But last night I came to my senses, and felt an incredible need to be with him." "That's why I had to get out." "Now I'm waiting for the first train." "I'll be there just in time to wake him up by surprise." "What time is it?" "10 o'clock already!" "Already?" "Have you been back long?" "No, 2 hours." "Louise, I have to explain something." "Don't explain." "We agreed that we'd keep all that private." "You weren't here, neither was I..." "Now I am and so are you." "That's all that matters." "Yes, but you must know this:" "I was with a woman." "I think you even know her." "Camille?" "Heavens, no." "Her friend Marianne." " But they don't look at all alike." " Why should they look alike?" "I was told you were seen with Camille." "By whom?" "Octave, I presume." "Now I get it." "Camille lent her her fur toque." "That must be why." "Let's say we're even now." "I spent the night with someone, too." "It was the first time since I've known you." " Someone unimportant." " Marianne isn't unimportant." "I'm in love with her." "You're in love with her?" "Really in love?" "More than with me?" "Louise, listen..." "It all came as such a surprise." "2 months ago I'd have sworn it was impossible." "You told me I could find someone I liked more than you." "It's not that I like her more." "It's different." "From the very start, it was completely mutual." "She loves me exactly as I love her." "I loved you too!" "As much as you loved me!" "Even more." "Look: you replaced me!" "I didn't!" "You will soon." "I'm not worried: you'll do fine." "We made each other miserable." "I'm sorry you only found out now." "I had to be sure before telling you." "She's the woman I want to live with." "So, live!" "Let's both live!" "Playing tennis this morning?" "Not today." "Do what you want." "I'm going back to Paris." "Louise, wait!" "I'm sorry I spoke so bluntly." "Some things are hard to say." "I'm sorry." "I've made my choice." "One has to choose." "It's painful." "I'm sorry." "Stay." "Stay until things work themselves out." "Don't leave like that!" "Stay!" "Don't leave." "I can't stay." "A moment ago, I couldn't stay in town, and now I can't stay here." "I've got itchy feet." "As you always said." "You're not taking anything?" "I'll stop by one day to pick up my things." "After all, why not..." "Hi, Octave." "Sorry, did I wake you?" "Nothing..." "I'll explain..." "I'm fine." "At home... in Marne." "What are you doing today?" "And tonight?" "Pick me up at home in Paris..." "At my place..." "At eight o'clock." "Of course I'll be there!" "Since I'm asking you..." "I'm sure of it." "Absolutely sure..."