"BEREZINA or SWITZERLAND'S LAST DAYS" "Are you Fritz Ochsenbein?" "Yes, I'm Fritz Ochsenbein." "Courage, courage, brothers dear, Banish worry, banish fear." "Soon will come another day And the sun be on its way." "Just think of the artery... as a bicycle inner tube with a weak spot." "Suddenly there's a little bulge that inflates like a bubble and bang!" "Modern medicine's really amazing!" "So they just insert a little tube into the weak part." "Yes, a little tube." "One of my clients had a bypass operation." "A bypass operation is child's play in comparison." "9 hours, 34 minutes under the knife!" "Under the knife." "I only wanted to stress, of course, that there's no comparison." "Bypass..." "He was already long senile before the 9 hr, 34 min anaesthesia." "He was still in office where it's not so obvious." "What's Deputy Tschanz's wife wearing?" "A tent?" "That's my new collection." "A tent would have been better." "It would've covered her head." "Anything new?" "A Russian girl." "And?" "And?" "Major General Sturzenegger is crazy about her." "That means the Cold War's definitely over." ""Close up the fence," he said." " He looks like a cleric." " I beg your pardon?" "It's the beard." "Go on, tell me more." "So we closed up the fence." "And every time someone shook it, we defended it as one man, until we dropped." "Be it the Habsburgs, Bismarck, Hitler or Khrushchev." "Khrushchev shook it too?" "Khrushchev, Lenin, Mao, Che Guevara and Ho Chi Minh." "All of them shook it, shook it, shook it, and shook it." "But we were READY for them!" "If the day had come when nobody remained there, had the subversives and collaborators triumphed and sold us out, we'd have been ready for the hour of the Cobra." "The Cobra?" "Yes." "Just one call, just one code word, and... the Cobra group would have mobilised." "Everywhere the phone would've rung." "They all would have left their homes." "Honest citizens and true patriots." "Each with his weapon, his mission and his target." "And fearless." "We would have taken over the country and stood once more behind the fence." "And put an end to all the shaking." "Marvellous!" "But that's all top secret." "May I?" " Are you Fritz Ochsenbein?" " Yes, I'm Fritz Ochsenbein." "IN DISTANT RUSSIA" "Mama, Papa, Grandma, Grandpa, Jeanna, Lenichka," "Victor Petrovich, Roman, llia," "Gregory, Philip, Jana i Janichka, Nikita." "Just imagine." "I'm in Switzerland!" "It's even more beautiful than we thought." "People here are both good and rich." "They're very kind and give me money." "Mrs Charlotte De, a famous fashion designer, is introducing me to a lot of important gentlemen." "I've already met an important general who has fought all his life against Communism." "Tomorrow I'm going to meet another of Charlotte's friends." "He's an important lawyer who knows a lot of influential people." "Our Elektrostal foundry workers wear face protection if they have sensitive skins." "Without a zip, though." "They don't wear moustaches." "Too hot." "My brothers were foundry workers, but not any more." "Not much iron is being cast any more in Elektrostal." "They'll be happy when I tell them you're going to help me to become Swiss." "I said I'd try." "Oh, my God!" "When a man like you tries something, he succeeds." "You see what I mean?" "My husband says it looks like a tent." "A tent?" "Ridiculous!" "A tent with flowers?" "Well, it's not exactly tight fitting." "But that's the style nowadays." "You're lucky." "Your figure is perfect for that model." "I could never wear it." "I can only wear these awful, tight, old-fashioned..." "Just a moment, please." "You look after the tent." "It's nice, the new moustache." "Will Tschanz become a Federal Councillor?" "He will." "Will he get the Foreign Office?" "He will." "God, the tent lady will be our next Foreign Minister's wife?" "What a country!" "Then later on, maybe First Lady." "I'm dressing a First Lady, for once, and it has to be Gerti Tschanz." "Why not someone like Jackie Kennedy, or Irina?" " She's really got class." " Oh?" "Isn't she a bit naive?" "Naive?" "Unspoiled." "Unspoiled?" "After being bedded by you?" "It's quite possible." "She'd be sensational." "She'd have them all lying at her feet." "The dirty old buggers." "D'you think so?" " They'd eat out of her hand." " There are other hands in the game." "Mrs Tschanz would like to know if we could make a hat to go with her tent." "A pennant!" "I am still living at the hotel." "Get lovely clothes and money from Mrs Charlotte De." "I get to know lots of new people." "Members of Parliament, bank directors, all important people." "But they're not stuck up and stuffy like the big wigs in Elektrostal." "They're like you and me." "They come and see me and behave quite normally." "Some are just like dear old girlfriends." "Some seek comfort and understanding." "Like a bicycle inner tube with a thin spot." "Suddenly a little bubble forms and inflates like a balloon." "9 hours, 34 minutes." "Former Federal Councillor..." "Incredible!" "They're so sweet." "The way they worship their wives." "They always need them around." "And if they sometimes have to be away from them, they long for them like children." "And they treat me very kindly, and respectfully too." "Over there!" "Over there!" "Quick!" "The pills!" "The bag!" "Three!" "The thermos!" "I mustn't get upset." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to scare you." " You did, though." " You scared me too." "Being in the torture chamber is asking to be scared." "Don't sleep in the torture chamber if you've got a weak heart." "Are you from the East?" " Can you tell by my accent?" " Well, I can." " You have an accent too." " I'm Swiss." "So will I be soon." "Oh?" "You're getting married?" "I've got some good friends who are helping me." "Civil servants." "That's how I became Swiss." "My husband worked on the railways." "You must be a very happy woman." "And what are you doing in the museum?" "I want to know everything about Switzerland." "Well, you're in the right section here." "Brother Nicolas said:" ""Close it up", not "tear it down"." "After the Battle of Marignano in 1513, 15... 1515." " How d'you know that?" " From the warriors in the museum." "You go to the National Museum?" "A Swiss woman has to know all about her country." "In 1513, the Swiss Confederates were at the height of their power." "In the battle of Marignano, however, they succumbed to the superior forces of the French and Venetians." "This defeat led to the Swiss Confederates' withdrawal from the international scene and to their stopping their expansionist policy..." "Close up the fence!" "...and to declaring their neutrality." "But Swiss mercenaries continued throughout the following centuries to serve in foreign armies, often on both sides at the same time!" "My dear little Swiss girl!" "And in 1812, when Napoleon's defeated army crossed the freezing Berezina, it was Swiss mercenaries who sang:" "Courage, courage," "Brothers dear, Banish worry, banish fear." "Soon will come another day And the sun be on its way." "Wonderful." "That was the spirit that inspired us when we formed the Cobra group." "The spirit of Berezina." "Cobra zero to Cobra uno:" "Courage, courage, brothers dear." "Della Playa seems a bit past it." " She did Lucia too young." " But it was unforgettable." " I was in Washington." " Yes." "The best Washington correspondent television ever had, if I may say so." "My successor's very good." "Yes." "I only wanted to praise Bürki, the former Washington correspondent." "Not to criticise Bürki, the present programming director." "This Della Playa gets better and better, doesn't she?" "If you'll excuse me, please." "The Viennese call that type of person an Adabei." "Want to be in everything, but contribute nothing." " Very expressive language, Viennese." " And very convivial." "Suddenly, a little bubble forms." "It inflates like a balloon..." "Where was I?" "That's it." "Bang!" "How nice!" " Who are you with?" " With you." " And you?" " With you." "One looks less lonely when there are two." "We took a lot of photos in Greece." " My husband also takes photos." " Does he!" "Orchids too?" "Flowers too." "But always the same little plant." " Are you coming afterwards?" " Where to?" "The Vetterlis are holding a première party." "A few singers, the conductor, and such like..." "Mrs Vetterli asked me to keep it quiet, so as to avoid the hoi polloi." "Another little glass?" "The crush at the bar seems to be over." "As a lady, they cut me usually." "But, as a "Madam", they grovel before me." " All Irina's clients?" " Mostly." "Who isn't?" "Bürki?" "Not Bürki." "That'd be politically incorrect." " With a Russian?" " No, to pay for it." " And Vetterli?" " Vetterli, not yet." "Not yet." "Von Gunten?" "Mondays and Fridays." " And Tschanz?" " Three times last week." "What are they after?" "No idea." " Why not ask her?" " She never tells me anything." "Why not?" "Perhaps she's prudish." " Prudish isn't the right word." " What is it then?" "Decent." "It'd be interesting to know a bit more." "But please don't look until I tell you." "Yesterday, the General gave me the best present that a Swiss man can offer a woman." "Now." "He gave me the most beautiful dress of his dear departed wife." "A dress that women here only wear on special occasions." "Oh I love you to distraction," "Marguerite, with all my heart." "I know not what is becoming of me" "Nor what to do about it." "I wish I had never seen you." "All we soldiers and associates" "Love you so much." "I love you to distraction," "Marguerite, with all my heart." "I know not what is becoming of me nor what to do about it." "My little Swiss girl!" "So that's it, then?" "Just a moment." "I think Andy's got something else." "The information is very confidential, but quite reliable." "Tedeschi is being watched." "Your Tedeschi?" "Our Tedeschi." "Who's watching him?" "Some special unit." "I didn't get the name." "But why, may I ask?" "An anti-Mafia unit?" " It's related to organised crime." " I see!" "Money... laundering?" "Something of the sort." "Tedeschi and money laundering?" "Thank you, gentlemen." "Look at her!" "The little slut!" "Over there, Tschanz." "Do you happen to know the lady with the décolleté?" "What is that?" "I can't recognise anything." "First, you have to let art work on you." "Then, suddenly you understand." "Our Alps!" "Would you like to introduce me to your companion, Dr Waldvogel?" "He called me Dr Waldvogel." "Usually, he doesn't remember my name." "Do you think he swallowed the bait?" "Hmm, I know you men." " Despite the costume?" " Because of it." "Because of the costume." "Because of it." "Because of it." "Mrs Vetterli's blue BMW is blocking Dr Schuppli's garage." "He has a meeting at the golf club in 10 minutes." "And the bank is all yours?" "No, no." "Careful, half a turn to the left." "Not completely." "I'm just a shareholder." "And now another step." " What's a shareholder?" " Another step." " Someone who has shares." " And what are shares?" "They're papers on which is written that the owner possesses a teeny-weeny bit of a company." "Another step." "So you only own a teeny-weeny bit of the bank?" "But I've got a lot of these papers." "No, no, that little step was too big." "Go back half a step." "But not all of them." "And now take..." "a great big, slow step forward until I say stop." "No, lots of people have such papers for the bank." "My wife, children, brothers and sisters, for example." "Just as with us, the family is very important." "And now, Irina, sweetie." "Very, very, very slowly, one very big step as if you wanted to stride across a very big rock." "I believe the family is the most important thing in life." " The family and the country." " Stop!" "Stay where you are!" "That's it!" "It gives people a feeling of security and peace." "Family and country." "My family's good, but the country..." "Leave your little feet just where they are, but turn both toes slowly to the right until I say stop." "To the right, until I say stop." "That's why I'm changing it." "Slowly." "Slowly." "Stop!" "My new country is here." "Here it's like a big family." "Everybody is helpful." "Since I've been here, people can't do enough to help me." "They all give me presents and are kind to me." "Herr Direktor!" "All right?" "Dear little director!" "I have a new friend." "He and his family own a bank." "He's very rich, but he's always up to pranks, just like a little boy." "Dr Waldvogel says that he's a very important man and can teach me a lot of things." "He says I must pay great attention and remember everything Director Vetterli says and does." "But I mustn't tell anyone." "Except him." "Because Dr Waldvogel is very discreet." "He has to be, because he's a lawyer." " Already Swiss?" " Does it look like it?" "No, I'm not quite Swiss, yet." "But I shall be very soon." "Do you play tennis?" "Can you run the hundred metres?" "Is there anything you can do Swiss girls can't?" "I don't think so." "I think so." "It's just that I have good friends who help me." "Come on, tell me about your friends." "Why should I tell you about my friends?" "Because I don't think that they're real friends." "How can you say such a thing?" "They are even especially good friends." "They just want to get you into bed." "Very few of them want to go to bed with me." "And those who don't want to go to bed, what d'you do with them?" "What you do amongst dear friends." "Good for the heart." ""Klosterfrau Melissengeist"." "It's the same with olives." "Only starts tasting good after the third one." " Does that make you drunk?" " Just for the heart." "My heart's strong." "In your profession, it can never be too strong." "Another olive, please." "You'll never get to be Swiss like that." " What d'you mean?" " Jumping into bed with them." "I thought you married a Swiss." "Before getting into bed." "It's not what you think." "We just have fun, like good friends." "So what do you do?" "Only if you tell me." "First, you have to tell me." "But only one thing." "Well..." "Something funny." "One of my friends wants me to tie a string to him." "What d'you mean "tie"?" "Like this." " One end there." " And the other?" "Here." "He goes to the office like that." "With the string under his clothes." "And now and then, he goes like this." "But that hurts, doesn't it?" "That's why." "There!" "You have hereby resigned from the board of Alpinvest." "With this, we hereby found Priminvesta." "The sale of our shares in Alpinvest to Priminvesta." "Sale of Priminvesta to the Caribbean Trust." "And your resignation from the Board of Priminvesta." "So now there are no longer any business connections to Tedeschi?" "Which Tedeschi?" "Which Tedeschi!" "The toothy one is the Matterhorn." "Next to it is the Breithorn." "Look!" "Over there are the Ahorn and Rothorn." "And behind, those little tufts nearby, that's Piz Palü." "There." "Castor and Pollux, the twins..." "Last weekend, the general took me on a tour of Switzerland." "It was wonderful!" "He really knows a lot about the country." "It's certainly a small country, but when you know its history it's the greatest country in the world." "And just imagine." "The people here already take me for a Swiss citizen." "This general took me to the very heart of his country." "Now we come to the grandest part of Swiss history." "Tell's Platte." "This is where it all started." "Now I know all about the brave men who rose up against tyranny without regard for their own lives." "So much heroism!" "So much readiness for sacrifice." "Here, this is the historical place." "It was just like in that painting." "The tyrant Gessler's ship has arrived, and Tell jumps out and escapes..." "No." "Ouch!" "No, it's all right." "The general showed me other things, but..." "I mustn't tell a living soul." "Raise your right hand." "Repeat after me." "I swear." "So help me God." "You are now under oath." "Everything you are now going to see is strictly secret." "Treason is punishable by death." "Is that quite clear?" "Practically the whole country is tunnelled." "Special keys enable you to walk underground from Lake Constance to Geneva." "The soldiers would have hidden here if Hitler had come?" "Not hidden." "Held themselves in readiness." "The whole army, all commands, the full government can hole up in these mountains." "With hospitals, kitchens, canteens, rest rooms, sports facilities, cinemas and ecumenical churches." "And reserves for years to come." "And the other people?" "What other people?" "Those who were left behind in their houses." "They would have infiltrated the foreign regime." "Brilliant!" "A Federal Councillor's accommodation." "How cosy!" "Exact copy of the original." "Those shouldering so much responsibility need a quiet place to rest and feel at ease." "Come, my little dove." "The bedroom." "Just as if it had been used yesterday." "Or if it could be used again tomorrow." "Come here." "I want to show you something." "Careful." "What they are fighting for is always right before their eyes." "See how the mountains and valleys" "Glow in the rays of the sun." "See how the dark shadows" "Grow in the meadows and fields" "While the sun still plays on the peaks." "Oh, how red are the glaciers," "Oh, how red they are now." "Look down over the lake." "Cattle are homeward bound." "Listen how the cowbells" "Ring out gaily in the meadows." "They ring out our pleasure" "And fill our breasts with joy." "And fill our breasts with joy." "I'll make you a star!" "The bedroom." "Two bathrooms, two entrances, one above and one below." "A dream." "It's nice to have so many mirrors." "Like that, you're never alone." "And... here's... the living room." "My own living room!" "Dr Waldvogel!" "Well?" "It's a dream." "And?" "I just don't know what I've done to deserve this." "No." "You don't deserve it." "Then why am I getting it?" "Because... you're going to deserve it." "You know how." "What they do and say." "Who they telephone, and who they meet." "Every detail counts." "I can't remember anything." "And they seldom telephone." "And when they do, I don't listen." "Eavesdropping is not correct." "You want to become Swiss." "You want something from this country." "And you?" "What are you doing for this country?" "Nothing." "Not even listening or straining your memory a bit." "You want to be accepted, protected by the country, and you're not even ready to lift a finger for its security." "Are these friends of mine a threat to the security of Switzerland, then?" "All Swiss are a threat to the security of the country." "Yes, just a little bit more to the left." "That's right." "No, that's too far." "Don't ask me now." "Tedeschi will be finished in 10 days at the most." "I didn't call you." "End." "Understood." "And now raise both hands to your head... and press them firmly against your ears." "You were at Irina's yesterday." " Only for that other business." " Of course!" "Find out anything useful?" "No." "I gave her a week." "If not, single ticket to Elektrostal." "That's how it was." "I resigned from the boards of Allag and Futurag, and got rid of all my shares in Schwarco." " How much did you get?" " 94.20." "Not too bad." "I only got 81." "How did you do it?" "And you've also got a clean slate, Andy?" "What do I do with the fund units?" "Tedeschi's money." " You don't know that." " You do." "Don't worry." "Mrs Gondrand took care of all that in Geneva." "The fund is clean." "So Tedeschi can go to hell." "Exactly." "And now, gentlemen, for the pleasant part." "Have I ever told you about my heart surgery?" "I hope you're sitting down." "The general kept his word in saying:" ""Irina, I'll make you a star!"" "I'm making my first appearance at the guild ball." "They'll all be there." "Even the President of the Swiss Confederation." "Just a moment, ladies and gentlemen." "Your attention please!" "See the soldiers and captain" "Tramping over the Gotthard pass" "All puffing and sweating" "And wet all over" "But all in high spirits." "They accept their fate" "And along with their captain" "They sing this song:" "Over the Gotthard buzz the horseflies, The nasty horseflies." "And when they're over They're on the other side." "The nasty horseflies, Yodelio." "It's the same every autumn Till the summer." "It's always been like that And it always will be." "The Gotthard post coach travels south." "It's a long, long journey." "The horses sweat in front of the coach" "And the people sweat behind." "But see what's flying round the horses" "As though they belonged to them." "Yes, it's the horseflies" "And they give them no peace." " How could anyone?" " And at the guild ball too." "But of course, the President has to shake her hand." "Character was never his strong point." "What sort of costume is that?" "Prättigau?" " Tasteless!" " Div." "Cmdr. Sturzenegger's idea." " Strange!" " Told me so himself." "Usually, he is very much the patriot." " I have my own theory." " Have you?" "Well, it's quite simple..." "I've found you at last." "How was I?" "Did they like it?" "May I offer you a drink?" "Have they got Klosterfrau Melissengeist?" "Champagne!" "Two glasses, please!" "I'm Claude Bürki." "Television." "Congratulations." "Your performance was terrific." "Cheers!" "I first thought I'd be a tourist guide." "I know a lot about Swiss history." "I know the National Museum, Alpineum, Kapellbrücke," "Lake Lucerne, Tell's Chapel, the Rütli, the Gotthard..." "But singing is even better." "It makes people happy." "Do you know what the President told me?" "That he'd never heard "Over the Gotthard" sung like that." "And yet he's certainly not a young man." "Any prospects of your soon becoming Swiss?" "Yes, and even very soon." "Dr Waldvogel says it will be next to no time." "Why Dr Waldvogel?" "He's looking after everything." "And Director Vetterli, Deputy Tschanz, and ex-Federal Councillor von Gunten are all helping me." " To become Swiss?" " Isn't that charming?" "Most charming." "In Elektrostal, the men are not so kind." " You're from Elektrostal?" " All my family are still there." "They'll all join me when I'm Swiss." "May I ask you an indiscreet question?" "I don't like indiscreet questions." "All these gentlemen, do they...?" "Well..." "You know what I mean?" "Do you have to know for security reasons?" "For security reasons?" "Like Dr Waldvogel." "He always wants to know things about my friends." "Because of national security." "And if you tell him these things, you'll become Swiss." "I'm afraid I must put you wise." "They're all using me, and all they want is... you know what." "That's all they're interested in." "Once they're fed up with me, he said," "I'll be back in Elektrostal without a Swiss passport." "Is that true?" "That Mr Bürki, of all people!" "He's one of those who'd be at the top of the Cobra's list." "The sort of weed to be rooted out." "Cobra zero to Cobra uno." "Courage, courage, brothers dear." "And if it's true, and I don't get a passport?" "If they send me back to Elektrostal?" "Then I'll marry you." "So help you God?" "So help me God." "What's up?" "You're in my flat." "Not for long." "That's good." "I'm very tired." "It won't be your flat much longer, I mean." "Why not?" "You're going back to Elektrostal." "That's why." "You can't do that." "Today, the passport people told me:" ""She's disappointed us."" ""We'll have to send her back."" ""Many others are waiting."" "Please, no." "It's not in my power." "I've done all I could." "There!" "There!" "There!" "He's a friend of Director Vetterli." "A very good friend." "Lugano prosecutors confirmed that Salvatore Tedeschi is involved in the investment of large sums of Mafia money through his office, including 900 million francs in Switzerland." "If suspicions are confirmed, it would be one of the biggest cases of money laundering ever to involve Switzerland." "Tedeschi is on the run." "The Italian police say the fugitive is probably in Switzerland." "And now, the weather." "If you can find out more about this, you will become, not just a Swiss citizen," "but an honorary Swiss citizen." "What is it, when all is said and done?" "A lie, that's all." "One shouldn't tell lies." "A white lie!" "Director Vetterli has always been very good to me." "He'll be very hurt if he finds out." "I thought he liked that sort of thing." "Forget it." "If it pleases Waldvogel without hurting Vetterli, what's the problem?" "Perhaps it will hurt him." "Only if it's true." "Dr Waldvogel will find out that it was a lie." "How?" "Because I can't find out any more." "Why not?" "How can you find out something that's untrue?" "Something else that's not true either." " Another lie?" " Another white lie." "A white lie." "A white lie is one that you can't help telling, isn't it?" " That's it." " But what should I say then?" "Anything at all." "Say that..." "Deputy Tschanz is also a friend of this money launderer." "Say that he telephoned him when he was with you the last time." " And you think he'd believe that?" " That's his problem." "Yes, this is Tedeschi." "I don't know where to go." "Where shall I go?" "A hotel?" "With my passport?" ""Certain", he said?" ""Carry on like that and honorary citizenship is as good as certain."" ""As good as certain"?" "Isn't it all right?" ""As good as", means "almost"." "And "almost" may mean "not quite"." "It may also mean:" ""If you go on like that, honorary citizenship is not quite certain."" "What must I do to get him to say: "definitely"?" "Don't go on like that." "Better still." "Tell him that you know... where Tedeschi is." "Tell him... tell him... he's in Von Gunten's holiday chalet." "I don't even know if the ex-Councillor has a chalet." "All former Federal Councillors have one." "Just like our dachas." "You're quite certain?" "In Von Gunten's chalet?" "As far as I understood." "That's nitroglycerine." "Pure nitroglycerine!" "But perhaps he's no longer there." "Judge Hungerbühler warned Councillor von Gunten that the police were on Tedeschi's trail." "He's now going to Mr Bindschedler's hunting lodge." "I didn't know Bindschedler had one." "All management consultants have a hunting lodge." "Irina, the honorary citizenship is as good as yours." "Not "as good as". "Definitely"." " Yes, yes." " Say it!" "Say: "Irina, honorary citizenship is definitely yours."" "Irina, honorary citizenship is definitely yours." "So help me God?" "So help me God." "And the next time, Irina darling, don't come dressed in national costume." "No costume?" "Excuse me, Judge..." "ahh, Little Worm." "No." "None of that "excuse me"." "Don't you get the phone." "I have to pick it up." "You have to send me." "Put it back and say:" ""Pick up the phone, Little Worm!"" "Pick up the phone, please, Mr Little Worm." "Telephone." "Telephone immediately." "Really?" "Pardon." "Excuse me." "May I go outside?" "Just for a little while?" "Forget it." "I'll go." "No, she's not the one to go!" "She throws me out!" "She says: "Get lost, Little Worm!" "I don't want to see you again!"" "Hello Mrs Von Gunten?" "May I speak to the former Councillor?" "What makes you think that I could have an influence on the election of the National Bank Board?" "I know the weight your word carries." "As long as Tedeschi doesn't say anything stupid." "And what do you propose doing if I find I can't oblige you?" "Nothing, of course." "Except my duty as a citizen, of course." "And that would be?" "To inform the authorities that Tedeschi... is in Mr Bindschedler's hunting lodge." "Yes, again." "That's it, fine." "Now, pull it up." "A bit more." "Hold on." "Bad news?" "No." "Just the opposite." "By the time you receive this letter," "I may already be an honorary Swiss citizen." "My dear ones, get everything ready to leave." "Thanks to me, a dangerous criminal has been hunted down." "He was about to do great harm to the country and tarnish its image in the whole world." "Thanks to my intuition and my friend Benedetta's help the authorities managed to ascertain the man's whereabouts." "When they found him, he had escaped justice by committing suicide." "The whole country is relieved." "See you soon." "Your Irina, who misses you very much." "Klosterfrau greets Brother Nicolas." "Benedetta!" "Don't joke about Saint Nicolas!" "Saints are also men." "To Saint Nicolas." "To whom we Swiss men and women owe everything." "To Brother Nicolas." "And to Benedetta Hösli, who had the idea with the hunting lodge." "And to Irina, honorary Swiss citizen and singer." "From the passport office!" "That's it!" "It's my honorary citizenship!" "Open it!" "Open it!" "Read it!" "Expulsion order." "Expulsion order." "You said: "Expulsion order"?" "What's an expulsion order?" "It means they're expelling you." "That you have to leave the country." "...to leave the country within 14 days." "In the case of non-compliance, deportation procedures will be initiated." "He swore by Almighty God, and now he can't be reached any more." "His office doesn't put me through, and in his flat, he hangs up." "And if I go there, he doesn't open the door." "He doesn't need you any more." "He's getting rid of you." "But when I told him Tedeschi was in Bindschedler's lodge he said:" ""You've earned honorary citizenship."" "You told Waldvogel that?" "It was a white lie." "But it counts just the same." "If a lie turns out to be true, it's like it had been true all along." "Why did you have to tell him this lie?" "Otherwise, I'd be sent back to Elektrostal." "And now, I really do have to go back." "What else did you tell him?" "That Director Vetterli, Deputy Tschanz, von Gunten and Dr Bindschedler were all friends of Tedeschi, that Judge Hungerbühler helped them." "And, and, he must have told them." "And now, none of them visits or helps me any more." "When you tell stories like that, chances are they're true." "You almost uncovered a scandal." "That was your mistake." "If there's a scandal, it must be uncovered." " Will you do it?" " You can count on me." "And if you... if you say that I helped you in it, might it be that I'd be able to stay?" " It could be." " Will you say it?" "Does it open any other way?" "You have a chance for a statement." "It's for the Main News the day after tomorrow." "What should I say?" "Yes, the facts are correct." "A little imprecise, but basically correct." "You'd repeat that in front of the cameras?" "You know, Mr Bürki, money is neutral." "There's neither dirty nor clean money." "The dollar which saved a life yesterday might cost one tomorrow." "It's true, you know." "Some of the financial companies that are close to Salvatore Tedeschi, which were close, I should say, dispose of accounts in a bank, which, in turn, is close to our bank." "But these funds, Bürki, are working, and they're working honestly." "They make chocolates, medicines, watches and machines." "They build houses, weave cloth, help young enterprises to start up." "They even produce documentaries on money laundering scandals." "If I am correctly informed, you own a production company that makes TV documentaries, don't you?" "BeeProductions." "That's not illegal, is it?" "Not in the least." "But BeeProductions is financed by Movafinanz, a holding company on the risk capital market." "by Swissinvent, whose funds are managed by the said Genevan bank, which is close to ours." "On the orders of poor Salvatore Tedeschi." "I didn't know that." "As I said, money is neutral." "The same dollar extorted by the Mafia yesterday tomorrow brings revelations about ties to our economic leaders." "The earth is round, Mr Bürki." "Neither good nor bad." "It goes round, that's all." "Courage, Courage, brothers dear, Banish care, banish fear." "Soon will come another day..." "Cobra zero." "Here!" "It's time to get married." "For whom?" "For us." "We ought to get married?" "We have to." "Look what I've brought you." "Nowadays, teddies have blue ribbons." "Today, Dr Waldfried Waldvogel, 42, was elected to the National Bank Board." "We have asked the influential banker H." "R." "Vetterli for his opinion on this choice." "It's open!" "The National Bank has made an excellent choice." "This young business lawyer possesses both the professional skills and human qualities for the successful accomplishment..." "Is he actually going to air it?" "Something else." "I shan't be an honorary citizen, but a general's wife." "Take it." "It's for the heart." "Tell me." "There is already a Mrs Sturzenegger." "There has been for 44 years." "The swine." "He'll get it from me!" "Cobra zero!" "The general would prefer I were dead, anyhow." "Cobra zero to Cobra uno." "Courage, courage, brothers dear." "Banish worry, banish fear." "Who was that?" "Nobody." "Where's my military log book?" "Carry on whipping." "It's where it belongs." "All right." "I'll manage on my own." "75, 8, 23..." "Cobra uno to Cobra due:" "Courage, courage, brothers dear." "Now it's the prostate." "That needn't be all that serious." "It's just unpleasant when you pass water, isn't it, Rudolf?" "Banish worry, banish fear." "Soon will come another day." "And the sun be on its way." "And the sun..." "Cobra otto to Cobra nove." "Banish worry, brothers dear." "Müller." "Soon will come another day." "Galimberti." "And the sun be on its way." "I'm not at home." "Moreau." " Who was it?" " A wrong number." "They wanted to speak to a Mr Cobra Duecento." "Banish worry, banish fear." "This number is no longer in service." "The new number is..." "I do this voluntarily twice a week." "I believe we should all do our bit for society." "I'm not paid for it, of course, except by the smiling eyes of the poor people I can help." " Are you socially committed too?" " I should say so!" "It's war." "Banish worry, banish fear." "ENTER" "PLEASE WAIT" " Please wait a minute." " 21 francs 60." "You think someone round here would cheat a taxi driver?" "It wouldn't be the first time." "Twenty..." "Twenty-one, twenty, forty, sixty." "Skinflint!" "Are you the President of the Swiss Confederation?" "If I'm not mistaken." "Yes or no?" "Yes." "Courage, courage, brothers dear." "It's you, Public Prosecutor." "Excuse me." "I said that I wasn't to be disturbed." "What's happening?" "Public Prosecutor?" "Excuse me." "Toilets are next door." "This is Judge Hungerbühler's office." "Excuse me." "Public Prosecutor?" "Hello?" "What's happening?" " What's that?" " What?" " It sounded like shots!" " What do you know about shooting?" "But it sounded like gun shots!" "Don't talk to me about shooting!" "My hearing was ruined by shooting!" "Former Federal Councillor von Gunten?" "Ah!" "You're going to Deputy Tschanz's!" "We're friends with his sister." "Her husband is in the same Rotary club as mine." "Shall I ring?" "Ah, Deputy Tschanz, what a happy coincidence!" "The pulse!" "Ginseng." "Banish your worries." "Understood." "Continue." "Mission accomplished." "Target eliminated." "Berezina order." "Cobra raises its head and I'm not at home." "And my target?" "Fritz Ochsenbein!" "Irina!" "Irina, please!" "Has there been a call for me?" "Irina, please answer me." "Where's my uniform?" "Well?" "Tell me." "How does it feel to be Director of the National Bank?" "And I send him flowers." "I'm mad!" "And now the weather." "A report has just come in." "Shots have been heard in the Parliament as well as in the passport offices..." "Are you TV editor-in-chief?" "...and in the National Bank." "The number of victims is not..." "I asked if you were TV editor-in-chief." "People like you deserve to be shot." "Production!" "?" "I don't know..." "Courage, courage, brothers dear..." "Ladies and gentlemen, fellow citizens." "A group of Swiss, who are concerned about their country, have taken control in order to save it." "Stay where you are at this moment." "Please remain calm and..." "Are you Fritz Ochsenbein?" "Yes, why?" "Blank cartridges." "I forgot to change the ammunition." "I didn't." "There will be a curfew until further notice." "Cobra, the national security group, has seized control." "Wants to commit suicide with Ginseng." "And misses the whole coup d'état." "I feel ill." "That's the one who killed Bürki." "What do you want?" "Stop!" "Stop!" "What do you think you're doing?" "You can't just come in here." "There is no Cobra zero here." "Our phone exchange people say that the alarm came from here." "A woman's voice." "Wasn't it, Cobra uno?" "A disguised voice." "With an accent." "Cobra zero?" "Would you mind saying it?" "Saying what?" "Courage, courage, brothers dear." "Courage, courage, brothers dear." "Cobra unit, attention!" "Cobra zero!" "Cobra group delivers to you the Swiss Confederation, intact and in good order." "All power is in our hands." "The nation is at your command." "If only my Theo could have seen that." "Well?" "This dress is frightful, Herr Direktor." "But she won't listen to me." "But she does to me." "Couldn't you put a good word in for me?" "Anything new?" " A little Cuban girl." " Is that all?" "World class, Herr Direktor." "Yes?" "I'll see what can be done." "AUTHORISED BY THE ROYAL HELVETIC CENSOR'S OFFICE" "Copyright © 2000 TITELBILD, Berlin Subtitlers:" "R. Wilkens et al."