"A-Z Film presents" "Journey to Absurdistan" "Excuse me, is this seat vacant?" "No, my wife is in the bathroom." "Excuse me, is this seat vacant?" "I'm just going to Rosenheim, next station." "Sorry, it's occupied." "It's my husband's, who is in the bathroom." "In the bathroom?" "There's a lot going on in the bathroom, eh?" "I just thought, in the last compartment... there was a woman in the bathroom, so I thought, a man and a woman in the bathroom, ha ha ha ha ha!" "I think, this one is vacant." "Thank you." "I'm standing right next to it and don't see it..." "Thank you." "Is this seat vacant?" "Excuse me." "This seat vacant?" "You speak German?" "Probably not a single word." "Well, 'til Rosenheim nobody will take a seat here." "Then I'll take a seat here." "Well, something like that never happened to me before!" "From the very last compartment 'til here, all seats were occupied..." "Well, now I'm here, eh?" "You from Turkey?" "Turkey, 'cause of your scarf!" "My wife is wearing one as well, at times for cleaning and such, but I wouldn't ever force her to wear one!" "Why ugly scarf?" "Why?" "Probably because of her belief they aren't even allowed to smoke!" "I forbade my wife to smoke, but she still does it!" "Crazy, isn't it?" "Daft, isn't it?" "Alas, speaking of smoking, there's still time left 'til Rosenheim so I'll light a cigarette!" "Would be ridiculous, not to pass away the time..." "Cigarette?" "See, what I said!" "They are not allowed..." "I wouldn't be so stupid to let somebody forbid me to smoke!" "Not anybody!" "Where are we here?" "In Absurdistan, or what?" "No smoking!" "No-smoking-compartment?" "And I'm lighting a cigarette Daft, isn't it?" "We often travel to Turkey for vacation - it's great there hence I know their customs..." "Look and see!" "We vacation Turkey!" "For ten years hullabaloo LTU!" "Understand?" "Airplane Turkey!" "At least they are cheap, these people!" "And friendly!" "Well, not unfriendly, but friendly!" "But that would take the cake with all of the money one spends there!" "Generally, I am for cultural diversity..." "Look and see!" "You Muslim, too?" "You Ramadan?" "No pork meat?" "Weeeell, guys... we no matter if it's bowling or hiking only schnitzel!" "They call me the "Schnitzel-Fritz", with all the schnitzel I am eating!" "You lamb, eh?" "Lamb?" "You lamb, eh?" "That wouldn't be anything for me, that minced meat you don't know, what it's made of!" "Where you go?" "Eh?" "Where go?" "Straight away?" "Eh?" "Ha ha ha!" "That was a good one..." "Ha ha ha ha!" "Shall I guess?" "Terrorist organization." "Have you seen on TV what they do?" "If they did that at home, they would be in jail right away!" "And there's no books and TV and walks like here..." "Turkey strict!" "Germany tolerant!" "Understand?" "In this ear, they were always deaf..." "Me German!" "Me tolerant and free!" "Understand?" "Dignity of man!" "We all human beings!" "But Turkey.... human beings suppressed and Turkish in Germany people free and German!" "Understand?" "German!" "Here my homeland, here I know my way around!" "And, I know my way around Turkey what was the name of the village where all the tourists always are..." "Hello Sepp!" "No, still aboard the train." "I don't get it!" "The guy next to me is talking shit all the time!" "Yes, just a stupid Prussian jerk!" "I'll show him to you directly at deboarding!" "You know what?" "Bring Gustl along!" "And, you can let know the Rottweiler-Franzl as well, yes?" "See you later..." "Bye!"