"I, OLGA HEPNAROVÁ" "Get up, girls!" "Olga, get up." "I'm not going to tell you twice." "I don't want to go to school." "She took 10 pills of Meprobamate." "She just wanted to taste it, but that's nonsense." "We pumped her stomach." "It should be okay." "Thank you." "To commit suicide you need a strong will, my child." "Something you certainly don't have." "Accept it." "You don't need to be afraid." "Wanna fag?" "I don't smoke." "Your mistake." "Ignore me." "I don't want anyone sneeking into my bed." "Why are you here?" "What do I know." "For run-aways, I guess." "Olga, why don't you read more cheerful books?" "Get lost." "I am alone, that's why I'm writing you." "I haven't spoken to my father since he last beat me in autumn." "Recently, I beat up my sister." "For some petty matter." "Strangely, I don't regret it." "She used to beat me." "The only person to whom I speak a little is my mum." "But we have nothing to talk about." "I can't talk to anybody." "I'm alone everywhere." "People just talk and gather and laugh even at things I don't find funny at all." "They talk just to say something, and believe that's quite fine." "I sit and sometimes I don't say a word all day." "I got used to it." "I treat people with scorn." "They may be offended, but I don't despise them." "I wonder how I will feel about them in the future." "In The Quiet American they say:" "wouldn't we do better if we didn't try to understand each other and just accepted that no human will ever understand another human, not even wife and husband, lover and mistress or parents and children?" "If there is any freedom, then it is bigger in a man with no links to the others." "To people." "When I'm alone, I'm happy." "People cast me out and now they expect me to come back?" "No, I will never do that." "I don't see myself as high as to stand against them." "Only my hatred will be against them." "Hatred that won't hurt anybody, except perhaps me myself." "We disturb you, don't we?" "You do." "I try not to worry about loneliness but to be happy with it, despite all the sadness and bitterness." "I'm telling you my thoughts and I'm not sure about them." "Am I so unhappy, or so happy?" "I don't know." "But I hope you can understand." "I want to go to Moravia for the holidays, on my bike." "My mother asked me:" ""You want to do it alone?"" "She has no idea how lonely I am." "She's also surprised that I refuse to attend dance classes." "To learn to use social clichés?" "No, thanks." "I can do without people, so I can do without dancing as well." "I really wish I could rise above myself, as you wrote me before." "Thank you." "Olga Hepnarová." "Darling, we haven't bought any gifts for your birthday yet." "What would you like?" "To get out of here." "So, bon appétit!" "Don't stare." "Thank you." "Thanks." "Thank you." "Hello, how much today?" "Thanks." "Next!" "Your name, dammit!" "Hey there." "Mum, please, I need help with the hut." "Yeah." "And some money." "Why don't we go for dinner?" "What's your name?" "And you?" "Olga." "I'll do it." "Give it to me." "The stove won't be enough for the winter anyway." " I'm not going home." " Oh please, Olga." "They let me repeat the exams, I'm working as a driver." "You're coming back for the winter." "Nobody's going to tell me what to do!" "Especially not you!" "Nor my father, or my sister, nobody!" "Get out!" " What do you want?" " White wine." "Thanks." "You're completely mad." "Hi, do you want to come up?" " Hello." " Hi." "Thanks." "This is my girlfriend Jana." "Hi, I'm Jana." "I'm fed up." "Want a coffee?" "I'd like a beer." "Is it yours?" "Don't be silly, it's Jana's." "Do we have something to drink?" "So, what is it?" " 300 grams of salami and wine." " Pardon?" "300 grams of salami and wine." " What kind?" " White." "It's 9.80 CSK." "Olga, slow down, I'm pregnant." "You're invited for dinner." "Where do you get water?" "At the pump." "Lunch is ready." "Hello, Olga." "Olga, you're not used to saying hello?" "You get on a bus and don't say hello." "Even though you know the people." "That's just how I am." "Whatever, I don't care." "Do whatever you want." "František Ružicka." "Jitka!" "Jitka." "I've decided to give you my hut." "You don't want me?" "What's wrong?" "You're just a whore." "I've got Jana." "And other girls too!" "Just like you do..." "Sorry." "And this is it!" "You say nothing." "You didn't mind before." "I don't like your dress, always wearing trousers." "You don't turn me on." "Boring." "You're greasy and you smell of oil." "I'm a driver." "Don't be afraid." "I don't want to hurt you." "I want to kill myself." "I don't believe you!" " Don't be mad at me." " It's fine, nothing happened." "I'm sorry." "It's over, alright?" "The water pipes burst in our street and in the next one." "Getting to work was a nightmare." "Hepnarova, you're disgusting." "I'm going to stink even tomorrow." "We're at a dead end!" "We're not in a rush anyway." "If I were your mother I would hang you." "You don't need to bother." "If I wanted I'd do it myself." "Come in." "Considering the complaint and all the circumstances..." "I suggest to terminate comrade" "Hepnarová's work contract." "Meanwhile, she should perform only assisting tasks and be checked by the company's doctor." "That's all." "I know I'm a psycho, but an enlightened one." "One day you'll pay for your laughter and my tears." " Hi, I'm Marika." " I'm Sandy Winiferová." "Let's go somewhere else." "Good morning, Miss." "Are you angry?" "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." "Why should I be angry?" "I always have this look." "I am Mira." "Don't worry..." "My old man beat me, kicked me, lashed my face with a carpet beater, tortured me, stabbed my mother with a butcher knife..." "Such an animal." "My mother died when I was 13." "Then I had a stepmother, if I can call her mother." "She was evil, nasty witch." "She was a Catholic fanatic and an even greater Nazi fanatic." "And this bitch was telling me all day about the German Übermensch." "A freak, total wacko." "All parents should be executed and children put into institutions." "But her brother was an extremely kind and noble man." "You either die or survive, but it was often fucking hard." "I'll bring two more." "Hey man, give me two more." "Drinking like hell, right?" "Two beers for me!" "Awesome." "Come join us!" "It was hard." "I was in jail, even." "I'm a fully-fledged runaway." "They were chasing me all day." "I was in jail too." "Interesting." "I'm so ashamed I was dependent on people." "I'm not anymore." "I don't understand them and they don't understand me." "For example, at work they blamed me without any reason." "That happens a lot, all the time." "I hardly have any feelings for people." "Do you like people at all?" "I no longer care about reality." "I view the world differently." "And how?" "As inanimate matter." "That's a very abstract idea." "What should I make of it?" "It's abstract because it doesn't concern me." "The world has no value." "For you, or for everyone?" "I can't speak for everyone." "Who do you speak for?" "For Hepnarová." "You said that the world had no value." "Do you value yourself?" "It's dangerous to isolate oneself from a society completely." "Especially for you." "For me, it's not dangerous anymore." "For whom then?" "The estimate is 17,000 CSK for the hut and the land." "That sounds right." "I need twice as much." "I have a dream, I want to buy my own car." "Here is your sick-leave form." "Mum?" "Who is my father then?" "This spread smells strange." "Alena, close the window!" "Hi there!" "Miss Hepnarová, I've got new vehicles." "You drive well, so I kept one for you." "You'll take it tomorrow, so come earlier to do the paperwork." "I have been thinking a lot." "It seems I'm a lesbian and I'd like to find a partner." "Could you help me find one?" "Unfortunately, that's not possible within our healthcare system." "I've been coming for a month." "When will I go to this Lobec?" "You need to be patient." "People normally wait several months for hospitalization." "Fine, so you can't help me." "I've been trying all the time." "There's no short therapy." "Yes?" "Look, I know my doctor." "He's a psychologist." "He could help you." "Nothing can help me." "Pull yourself together." "No." "Yes, Olga." "He knows me, he'll help you." "You don't have an appointment today." "I'd like you to check on Olga." "I'm off duty soon." "What do you want?" "I want to go to Bohnice Asylum." "I don't feel well, I need to rest." "A psychiatric center is not a place to have a rest, it's a hospital." "Show me your ID." "You don't belong to my district." "If you are tired, take some days off." "If you have other problems, consult the company doctor." "There you go." "Do we go to work?" "Go without me." "You're not at work, Olga?" "I'm sick with tonsillitis." "I don't feel well and I can't sleep." "Can't you prescribe me something?" "I can." "Dormiphen." "Take only a half, not before driving." "I'll keep it in mind." "Tomorrow I'm going to Most." "I found a landlord who will help me." "Hopefully it'll work out." "But I'll need a lot of money." "We should sell the Trabant." "Don't worry, I'll arrange everything." "We will go to the DMV, you'll sign it over to me and I'll sell it to a country boy up north." "You gonna drink it?" "Dear all, please accept this letter as a factual document." "For 13 years, I was imprisoned within a 'good family'." "Beaten and tortured." "A toy for adults, a victim of children." "I had nicknames:" "dragonlady, mummy, fallen angel and sleeping virgin." "My torturers were merciless." "I'm the beast in the flock, the black sheep of my family." "I don't have a friend, I never will." "I fall into despair and the result:" "escaping from school, from home, from my life." "The Children's Psychiatric Center showed me how blind and useless psychiatric medicine was." "In 1971, I went to live in our hut which was a symbol of my loneliness." "After 18 months, I moved into the company's dormitory, a hostel which was a monstrous Babylon where one can survive with strong will." "I am as impoverished as the worst drug addict." "But where are my drugs?" "All my feelings almost exhausted." "All my hope gone." "And the fallen angel is not broken." "Why am I doing it?" "To let people realize how a helpless individual can end." "My position is worse than that of a black American." "Why?" "Because I'm alone." "I've been lynched a thousand times:" "by my father, trapped in a shower and beaten until I was bleeding, countless times I've been told I was a wretch with no place in a society, countless times I've been avoided by people who spit on the ground or on me," "in the public streets of CSSR." "In every job, I'm publicly smeared, vilified, laughed at and humiliated." "Emotional condition:" "I'm a sexual cripple." "I'm unable to create and be part of a human relationship." "I'm a wreck." "I'm ruined by people." "Therefore I have a choice:" "to kill myself, or kill others." "My decision is as follows:" "I will get revenge on my haters." "You wouldn't pay the price if I became an anonymous suicide." "And because society is too sovereign to condemn itself, it is often tried privately, sometimes punished, other times just shocked." "This is my verdict:" "I, Olga Hepnarova, a victim of your bestiality, sentence you to death by being run over and declare a few lives is too cheap a price for my life." "Acta non verba." "Thank you." "Prague, 1973." "Olga Hepnarová." "For god's sake, what have you done?" "Did your brakes fail or what?" "Did you fall asleep?" "No." "None of this." "I did it on purpose." "What?" "Come!" "Watch her, I must get back there." " When will the trial be?" " Soon." "I heard you borrowed the criminal code book." "Yes." "I read your papers." "Do you still insist on being given the death sentence?" "But I will be given it." "With my crime, We committed suicide in fact." "Tell me yourself..." "What can a second life offer me?" "You ask the death sentence because you realized that living with your conscience could be even worse?" "That's why you no longer want to live?" "If they hang me, my crime will have a higher value." "Value?" "As a victim of bullying I was exceptional." "I'm healthy, I have two arms and two legs." "I speak Czech, I have white skin." "I never did anything to anyone." "And still, society treated me in such a brutal way that it can't be matched." "That may be just your feeling." "No." "People simply picked on me." "So when people experience injustice, they should seek revenge?" "Why I seek revenge and you don't is clear." "I ran out of superhuman strength." "I'm not God, and yet I punish." "I do so due to my personal right to revenge." "Once you're a poor victim, next time you're God." "So what are you really?" "I'm no longer a human being, much less a Christian." "Through my actions, I have crossed the line." "Every improvement has its cost." "Improvement?" "Evil can't be rectified with evil." "People have always been evil." "You simply deny that man can choose between good and evil." "You're weak." "But I didn't say anything about a possibility to choose." "People have other possibilities but they always choose evil." "Just as you did." "So you are like the others." "I truly don't know how to defend you." "You want to suffer." "I have only one request." "Do not plead insanity." "The aggrieved, Vera Mrázková, seeks recompense for a broken watch, 350 CSK." "Ludmila Jedlicková seeks compensation of 63 CSK for 12 kilograms of currants and for her husband's damaged clothing, the value of which she cannot state." "Jiri Hercík's plenipotentiary petitions for 5,700 CSK for extra funeral expenses," "1/3 of costs on clothing and grave maintenance." "Receipts are to be submitted." "Božena Horálková doesn't seek compensation." "Prague Provisions seeks 2,542.60 CSK for damaged window display." "On 10th July 1973, driving a large van, the accused drove the vehicle onto the pavement, intentionally, and proceeded to drive for 31 metres, crashing, running over and injuring a total of 20 people, killing 8 of them." "On 7th September 1970, at her father's farmstead in Zábrodí she started a fire, intending to ruin this farmstead, and caused damage of 100 CSK." "On these grounds, Olga Hepnarová is accused of the punishable crimes of both first and second degree murder and of attempting to damage the property of others." "Do you want to address the charges?" "You see 8 dead bodies, I see 8 dead bodies as well." "Or maybe 8 times 10 dead bodies." "But what kind of people are they?" "Are they so-called Prügelknabe?" "No." "I am a Prügelknabe." "I want to ask you now not to breed such people." "If you don't breed them they won't think the way I do and they won't do what I did." "Can you tell us what Prügelknabe means in Czech?" "Victim of bullying." "Call for closing remarks." "I suggest to find the accused guilty and I suggest an exceptional punishment." "I ask the court not to take into account the psychiatric expert testimony as I consider it to be done in an inappropriate way." "In opposition to the expert's testimony," "I believe Hepnarová to be a schizophrenic and therefore not fully responsible for her actions." "Today's people are not humane." "They didn't behave in a humane way towards me or other Prügelknabe." "I did it out of revengefulness and also to prevent further cases of this kind." "There are more potential killers like me." "But they don't have courage to do it." "I want to draw people's attention to the ones of my kind." "I think you could take certain measures to prevent such cases in the future." "If you don't want to die on the street or elsewhere at the hands of Prügelknabe who will do it by the right of your justice" "or by the right of your injustice." "I could kill myself and solve problems resulting from the need to get rid of bullied ones." "I'd like to say that you people indirectly made me do what I did." "You couldn't think I would just kill myself in silence." "As for the future..." "I will never repeat such actions." "Finally, I would like to point out I confessed to the crime I committed." "Finally..." "I ask that you sentence me to death." "The court will now break so the jury can come to its verdict." "There were no extenuating circumstances in this case." "Due to the facts of the case, the accused has been sentenced to death." "It is possible to appeal against this verdict." "Would the accused like to comment on the verdict?" "Due to her mental condition, the accused isn't fully responsible for what she says." "That is my personal opinion." "I would like to thank the court and all people for their future tolerance of themselves and all Prügelknabe." "I'd like to say that I don't want to appeal and I will not appeal." "Come out!" "What do you want?" "There has been nobody for a year." "I don't care about you." "I didn't do anything and I didn't have any trial." "How does it suit you being in a cell alone?" "It suits me well." "I walk and read." "I'm reading Masters of the Secret Service." "Is there anything special going on around or inside you?" "Special... nothing." "Except he doesn't want to talk to me." "Who?" "Does it upset you?" "Why did you smile?" "I don't know." "Who should talk to you?" "You want to talk to someone?" "I talk to him, but seldom." "To Winifer." "The man I signed was my father." "On Victor Hugo street, I signed for Winifer to be my father." "Did you hear his voice?" "I say I talk to him." "What is it like when he answers?" "He calls me My Child, and I call him Father." "What do you talk about?" "He tells me to be calm, that I will be freed." "That I shouldn't worry." "Do you recognize me?" "Yes." "Do you know your name?" "Winiferová." "My father is Oto Winifer." "What does your ID card say?" "Hepnarová." "That is how they call me." "Were you raised by the Hepnars?" "Yes." "Is your mother real, at least?" "Who knows, officially..." "My real father is in the Vatican." "At the CRV:" "Contra Regional Vatican." "It is the Vatican secret police." "Counterintelligence." "Why didn't you tell us Hepnar wasn't your father?" "I didn't know." "I can't tell you if I don't know." "How often do you talk?" "Twice a week." "Do you answer him?" "Yes." "Aloud?" "I have to whisper so they can't hear us." "Sometimes he sings to me so I'm not sad." "You are sad?" "I am." "Why?" "I don't know." "I feel remorse..." "I feel remorse for them, truly, but..." "I had to find some reason when I said I didn't feel remorse." "I couldn't say anything before, it was part of the game." " You know the purpose of the game?" " I do, but not everything." "I only knew what I had to do..." "Confess." "To a crime you didn't commit?" "What do you mean, "didn't"?" "I did commit it." "I'm Winiferová." "Who committed the crime, Winiferová or Hepnarova?" "Hepnarova." "But I'm the one you punished." " Hepnarova once said..." " Don't tell me that!" "I didn't say I'd do it again." "I intended to say Hepnarova wanted to be hung to let people know about her case." "What can you say about that?" "I wouldn't die anyway, even if I were hung." "Winifer would save me."