"So, I don't see Kai." "Neither do I. We're too far up." "Xev, I gotta get outta this sun, real soon." "Yeah." "So - up, or down?" "Well" " I'd rather go down." "It gets hotter if we go down, and cooler if we go up." "Oh - guess we go up." "I can't do it." "Yes you can." "Give me your hand." "No." "No I can't." "This is it for me." "No." "Give me your hand." "Look - all this climbing's not exactly been cooling me off." "Yeah, I know." "We have to keep going." "I'm not part Cluster lizard, OK?" "I gotta rest." "I'll be OK in a while." "No you won't, you'll be dead." "Now come on." "We have to get you out of the heat." "It's OK, it's OK, it's OK." "Just give me a minute." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Who's in there?" "I can't tell, but it's definitely cooler in there than it is out here." "Can anybody hear me?" "Come on." "Coming?" "Do I have to?" "No." "Well look Xev, why don't we just stay here and wait for Kai, huh?" "We can look for him through the hole." "We're on the wrong side of the lake." "He'll find us, I know he will." "Come on Xev, let's just wait." "Maybe he'll find us and maybe he won't." "You can stay here if you like, I'll be fine on my own." "Well maybe I won't." "Yes you will." "Just sit tight." "I'll check things out around us and be right back." "OK, fine Xev, go." "I'll rest." "Bye Stan." "Bye." "Don't go far." "I won't." "I really think we should stay together." "Then you come with me." "Why does she do this to me?" "She always does this to me." "Xev!" "Xev?" "She'll never learn." "She will never, ever, never ever ever learn." "Never ever." "She goes off." "Somebody comes along, tries to eat me..." "Xev?" "Xev?" "Xev?" "Xev?" "!" "Who is Xev?" "Who are you?" "I am Tish." "And who's Xev?" "Well, er, Xev's a woman." "She's dressed in a Cluster lizard skin outfit." "I kinda lost track of her." "I'm just trying to find her." "I can help you ." "You know, you saying that makes me feel kinda nervous." "Why?" "Well, in the past pretty well always when somebody said they wanted to help me out, it usually meant that they wanted to - feed off my brains or something like that." "You don't have that in mind, do ya?" "I said, I can help you." "Right." "Come on." "I won't bite your head off." "OK." "Wait, wait, wait!" "So - can I help you?" "No." "Well, nice place you got here." "Xev." "You are Xev, aren't you?" "Want to kiss me?" "Yeah." "You're Xev." "Listen, these people - are they, um - dangerous?" "I don't think so." "But I couldn't get much out of them, they're not very - direct." "Thank you for helping us!" "Er, helping you, how?" "Yeah, how did we help you?" "I don't have to explain it, do I?" "Er, yeah, if you don't mind." "I do mind." "A lot." "Xev " "What is going on with these people?" "I don't know." "Hey - secret conference?" "It's not a secret conference." "We were just wondering who you are, and what this place is all about." "Well, how about the fact that we don't know who you are, where you come from and what you want?" "And the fact that we were doing just fine here, until you two came along to help us." "What are you talking about?" "I don't know." "You're the one who's doing all the helping, so, you tell me." "Well, like I said, we're not here to help you." "That was pretty obvious from the beginning, right?" "Right!" "Right!" "You don't like us, OK?" "Says who?" "I don't know." "The way you act, the way you talk to us, your whole attitude." "Excuse me." "I think you'd better improve your attitude first before you start criticising ours." "Tish - what is going on here?" "Oh, look " "Don't touch me!" "Oh no, no, I wasn't, wasn't trying to " "To touch me, that's what you were trying to do, weren't you?" "No!" "No no, I wasn't." "I wasn't trying to " "Don't think you can just talk your way out of it." "No, no, I thought you were, you know " "He was trying to touch me!" "We saw!" "We saw." "OK, look, look." "I don't know what game you people got going on here, but I for one do not wanna be a part of it anymore." "What's that rock for?" "I just had it in my hand." "Oh yeah?" "Well " "I have just this, in my hand." "Welcome to K-Town." "OK, look " "Look what?" "Come on, tough guy." "Take a swing at me, with your rock." "Come on." "Xev?" "Run!" "Xev!" "Stan!" "Hey buddy, excuse me but " "Mantrid?" "Who is Mantrid?" "Well, you are, I think." "Mantrid?" "Come on." "Man - trid?" "Man - trid?" "What was that about?" "I mean, how can Mantrid be here?" "I don't know." "This whole place makes no sense." "Yeah." "OK, where to?" "Wherever they aren't." "Come on, this way." "Go!" "Oh no, no." "Yes Stan, go." "Don't look down!" "Just keep going, go!" "Don't look down, just keep going!" "Drop!" "Drop!" "Drop!" "We took the easy way around." "Time to teach you some manners." "Where's Kai when you really need him?" "Drop!" "Drop!" "Drop!" "Climb!" "Up here, quick!" "Get some rocks." "No!" "You brought the outsiders here." "No I didn't." "She brought them here." "Who are you?" "You don't know?" "No." "I'm Xev." "Xev of B3K." "Stanley Tweedle." "Former assistant deputy backup courier and now captain of the Lexx." "Who's Mantrid?" "You." "And who am I?" "Mantrid." "Arms and legs and body and all." "This is another one of your games, isn't it?" "I don't know." "Perhaps it is a game." "Game!" "And who are they?" "They are downstairs, so they must be - the people who are downstairs." "So, you really don't know who Mantrid is, huh?" "No." "Have you seen Kai?" "Yeah, he should be around here somewhere by now." "Who's Kai?" "He's the dead guy in black who walks around." "He was an assassin in the Divine Order - and you were the Divine Order's chief Bio-Vizier." "The greatest Bio-Vizier who ever lived, you said." "Kai was yours." "So, Mantrid - how did you get here?" "I woke up." "He woke up." "Why did you bring them?" "I didn't." "After all I've done for you and this is the thanks I get!" "All you've done for me?" "Zin, do you realise what I put up with?" "The sight of your face makes me want to throw up!" "You're a bully." "You're a coward, and you're a has-been, and you disgust me beyond belief." "You are going to die!" "Thank you." "You are welcome." "I suppose you feel better now?" "No." "Yes you do." "You did your big rescue thing on me so you feel better." "No." "I do not feel." "Oh yeah, I believe that." "I bet you go around rescuing people and thinking that you're doing them a big giant favour, and expect that they should be all happy and grateful about it." "But let's face it - you don't do it for their happiness." "You do it so you can feel better yourself." "I do not feel good." "I do not feel better." "I am dead." "And I do not feel - - anything." "Ever." "Nice try, mister." "I'm not finished with you yet." "Hey!" "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" "Hey, Zin, you creepy repulsive little coward." "It's safe to crawl back out of the shadows now." "Zin?" "Run." "Run from the bad man." "Run away and hide in the corner." "You don't scare me one bit." "You're too pathetic." "Kai!" "We're up here!" "Hey!" "I don't think that is such a good idea." "Got any others?" "No." "So, Mantrid, old buddy old chum." "So you were the baddest person that ever lived, huh?" "I mean, that is, if you are you, that is." "What do you mean?" "Well, I mean, there used to be two universes until you destroyed one, you know, killed all the people, all the planets, all the stars, everything." "And that universe was a lot better than this one." "When did I do that?" "Well, before you, er " "Before you woke up." "Yeah, long before." "Like say 4000 years ago." "The Mantrid who destroyed the Light Zone, was also part insect, and part machine." "And what happened to me?" "Xev killed you." "Did you?" "Yes." "Am I dead?" "No." "I don't think so." "I think you are - alive." "So, Mantrid, what about you taking a turn answering some questions?" "Like for instance, what's really going on here?" "And, what are you doing here?" "I don't know." "What do you mean, you don't know?" "I mean, you've been here all along - well, since you woke up." "I don't know." "Perhaps it is my punishment." "It's the downstairs people!" "Except now, they are upstairs." "Stan!" "Did you get hurt?" "No, no, I'm OK." "Thanks." "Over here." "If you want to fight, come down here and fight me!" "Oh Xev, this is just one crazy place, I mean, both of these two planets, they're just completely totally crazy, I mean this makes no sense at all!" "I know." "Oh, that feels good." "Oh, you know, it's the first nice feeling I've had in a long time" "It's been hard going for us Stanley, right?" "Yeah." "And Xev?" "What?" "How are we ever gonna get off this planet?" "I mean, all I wanna do is go back to the Lexx, how will we ever - you know" "Maybe they have balloons in this city." "We have to find one somehow." "Look you know, I think if we find a balloon," "I don't think they're exactly gonna just hand it over to us." "I guess you're right." "You know Xev, you're OK." "I don't think I ever really told you that before " "I mean, I know what you think of me, you know, but I mean you're, you're really OK - in your own special, you know, Cluster lizard kind of way." "You're not all bad yourself, Stanley H Tweedle." "Hey, what is it with you people?" "Answer me!" "I just did." "No you didn't." "I will repeat my answer." "Kai?" "Kai?" "We were just talking about you." "Hallooo-wa!" "What's wrong with your voice?" "What's wrong?" "I sustained damage to many of my systems when I first jumped down from the Lexx onto the planet Water." "The damage seems to be progressing." "Oh no." "What exactly is wrong with you?" "That - you will have to determine." "How?" "I will guide you." "Listen - there's no chance that you're completely broken and you won't function again is there?" "I mean, you are indestructible." "I am - hard to destroy, but I am not - indestructible." "I always wondered if " "What?" "If you still had your " "What?" "Equipment." "Yes." "I have a lot of equipment, as you can see, but it is not all - functional." "Will this take long?" "I don't know." "It depends on the extent of the damage." "What do I do?" "First you must remove my power and control rods." "Where are your control rods?" "There." "Between my legs." "OK." "Remove the power and control rods." "How?" "Turn and pull." "Turn and pull." "OK." "I hope this doesn't take long, 'cause we need you up and around, Kai." "Does this hurt?" "No." "No, the dead don't feel pain, right?" "We need more stuff to throw down at them, a lot." "Then go get it." "Why don't you?" "Why don't you?" "You can never motivate anyone in this place to do anything!" "Ooo, is that a new discovery?" "Zin - did I ever tell you how much you bore me?" "I'll go and get my own rocks!" "You do that" " Zin." "Just watch me." "We will." "So it turned out that the living Kai on the balloon, was nothing to do with you at all." "He just looked like you on the outside." "Yeah, but on the inside he was one hundred percent Prince." "So where is he now?" "Dead." "We pushed him off the thorn." "Yeah, definitely dead." "Once you remove the last rod I will stop working completely." "How will I know what to do then?" "After you have removed the last rod, you must put them into the matching slots on my chest." "These ones?" "Yes." "Then I will be able to diagnose my condition." "I contain many microscopic bio-mechanical systems " "I think we have to hurry." "Come on." "Kai?" "Kai?" "Kai!" "Kai, have I got it right?" "Have I got it right?" "Hurry." "And do what?" "I don't know, something!" "Hello." "I finally know who I am." "I'm Mantrid, the greatest Bio-Vizier who ever lived." "I destroyed a universe!" "That's nice." "I'm real happy for you." "He was mine!" "Who?" "Him." "Down there." "The dead man in black." "OK, look." "Why don't you just wander off and do that crazy wizard thing somewhere else, OK?" "We've got work to do here." "May I throw some rocks, too?" "Sure." "Fine." "As long as you don't waste them." "I won't." "I am the greatest Bio-Vizier who ever lived!" "What is a Bio-Vizier?" "Somebody that knows everything about biology and worked for the Divine Order." "If he is mine, I'll fix him." "Do you know what to do?" "No." "But if I am the greatest Bio-Vizier who ever lived," "I should be able to learn quickly." "Don't you think?" "He told us to remove the rods from here and insert them into the matching slots on his chest." "He said if we did that, that he could then diagnose his condition." "He also said that he contained microscopic bio-mechanical systems, and that they... well, then he stopped talking." "He said to put them in here, correct?" "Yeah, but that's what caused this to happen." "He said to put them in the matching slots." "Ya, ya, ya, ya." "That's the wrong one, why'd you do that for?" "To see what happens." "I'm Mantrid." "Hello Kai." "Hello, Bio-Vizier." "Yes, yes." "You belong to me." "I am an assassin, and you must be cleansed!" "I destroyed a universe!" "I destroyed a universe!" "And my punishment is over - for now." "Goodbye." "I am an assassin." "Quick, hurry, I can't hold him!" "Collectively associate in my body to perform many duplicate functions." "I contain many microscopic bio-mechanical systems." "They collectively associate in my body to perform many - duplicate functions." "It is Mantrid." "Yeah." "You just killed him." "My primary micro systems have a specific polarity." "They were apparently damaged, when I first crashed onto the planet Water." "Which means?" "That I am out of alignment." "Well, can we fix them, I mean you?" "That, you will have to determine." "How?" "First you must return my control rods to their original position." "Boy, I don't know about you Xev, but I am not equipped for this level of stress." "Yeah, I know, the dead do not feel stress!" ".." "Right." "But the dead do go out of alignment." "We're out of rocks again." "Then go get some." "It's your turn." "How about I don't feel like it?" "I don't either." "They're going to get away again." "You know Zin, I was just about to help, but then suddenly I started to feelunder appreciated and I lost all my energy." "Unloved!" "What are you laughing at?" "How are we gonna get out of here, this pit?" "Well, we climb up." "What, with Kai?" "With Kai, yes." "Come on." "Come on." "I bet they're gonna blast us with rocks as soon as we get halfway up." "Well what do you want to do, give up?" "Kai, did I ever tell you that you are really really heavy?" "I am - decarbonised." "1, 2, 3 - push!" "You people are really impressive." "Just love that "Can do" attitude." "When you get up here, will you please take me out of this place too?" "Will you give me your hand?" "No." "You're really helpful." "He never has been and never will be." "But I can step on your fingers." "Hey - she's got my leg!" "That's right - she's got your leg, not mine." "1, 2, 3 - push!" "Almost there." "You people here are completely useless in every way." "Cutting remark." "You must be the king of wit, huh?" "Don't bother trying to escape from here." "Nobody ever has, and nobody ever will!" "You got that right." "Well, this looks like as good a spot as any." "Are you sure this is the right solution?" "No." "But it is the only one." "How're you gonna land right?" "You can hardly, hardly move." "I still have some limited motor control." "The drop will take time." "I will attempt to modify my landing position, during my descent." "Attempt?" "I will do my best." "OK, and then you're gonna come right back up and rescue us, right?" "If I return to normal functionality I will return immediately and rescue you." "There's somebody up here." "Where?" "Over there." "I can't see anything." "I did." "I'm sure I did." "Come on Xev, we gotta hurry." "Which side should you land on?" "My left side." "Hurry Xev." "There is somebody up here." "Kai, I sure hope this works." "You should." "I hope it works too." "I suggest that you do not delay further." "OK." "Good luck Kai." "Did you see what side he was going down on?" "I couldn't tell." "Did you see how he landed?" "No." "I bet he landed just fine." "I bet he's already working again." "He's gonna be on his way up here any second." "Look." "What?" "A balloon." "I don't know Stan." "If he had landed right he would be back up here by now, don't you think?" "I must return to the top." "Why?" "My microsystems are still not properly aligned." "You're coming with us." "I must return to Stan and Xev." "It's landing on that city." "Where're you going?" "To that city." "How are you going to get there?" "I don't know, somehow." "Prince."