"DAY ONE" " Selam aleykum." " Aleykum selam." "A box of sugar cubes, a packet of pasta..." "Oh, and a pack of Maltepe cigarettes." "How much is that?" "Five lira 95." "Will five lira do?" "All right." " OK." " Thanks." "How are you doing, old man?" "Hey, you're quiet today." "No..." "I'm fine." "Good man!" "That's the way to be." "Life's short." "Who knows how short, huh?" "What's with the gawking?" "Weirdo!" "Hand over a pack of smokes." "Come on!" "Hand over my smokes." "What are you staring at?" "Look, hand over the smokes." "Stick that on my tab." " See you later." " Your credit's piling up." "Your credit, I said." " It's piling up." " Say that again." " If you paid off a bit..." " Fuck your credit!" "You think I have money but I'm not paying you?" "I thought we were good neighbours." "Stick it on my tab." "I'll pay next week." "Oh, and my mum says the rent may well be late, but that's not a problem, is it?" "Good man!" "See you." "DAY TWO" "A packet of rice and a packet of pasta." "Sure, Abla." " How much?" " Six lira." " Put that on credit." " Abla..." "You've run up quite a bill." "Tell Hasan Abi to drop by at some point." "OK." "I'll tell him." "Good morning." "Can I have a pack of 2000100s?" "And a lighter please." "Which kind?" " Those ones are good." " What colour?" "Blue." "Sorry, I'm looking for my wallet." " It doesn't matter." " I'm sure I put it in here this morning." "It doesn't matter." " You can pay later." " No." "I can't do that." "I'll find it in a minute." " How much do I owe you?" " Five lira." "Five." "Here you go." "Sorry, I messed around for ages looking for my wallet." "It doesn't matter." " OK." "Have a good day." " Thanks." "Whoa!" "Where have you been?" " What's up?" " What do you mean, what's up?" " I've been waiting two hours for you." " What's up?" "Ls something wrong?" "I'm out of raki." "I was going to ask if you had any, amigo." "I think so." "No I don't think so." "Huh?" "I think so." "I don't think so." "Fuck!" "Your body chemistry changed again." "You either have some or don't." "Yes or no?" "I don't know." "I haven't been drinking for a while." "I'll look in the fridge and let you know." "Look!" "Mum's snoring thing is driving me mental." "I'll grab my stuff and let's hit that terrace." "Hey, nice breeze or what?" "You know what wicked idea I just had?" " What?" " Come live on the terrace." "The terrace?" "But you can't live on the terrace." "It snows, there's winter, there's the cold and the mud." "Mum always used to say a person should have a roof over their head." "Otherwise the rain and mud will get inside them." "You're one lucky human being, you know." "You own a sound building, a shop on the corner that ticks over." "Plus you've got a load of money in the bank." "Have you got money?" "No." " You're fucked if you're lying." " I haven't, I swear." "Why would I lie?" "You'd lie." "I know you." "You're scared of me." "Scared of you?" " No, I'm not." " You're not scared." "Why not?" " You're my tenant." " So?" " We're from the same neighbourhood." " What else?" "We're friends." "We're drinking raki together." "Hmm." "Hey, Geronimo." "For the first time ever you've said something true." "People shouldn't be scared of their friends, right?" "Am I scared of you?" "No." "You shouldn't be scared of me either." "Here we are knocking back the raki." "I mean, bravo." "The little big man himself!" "You see that babe who just moved into the neighbourhood, Geronimo?" "What?" "A new babe just moved here, I said." "Have you seen her?" " Who?" " Who?" "Your fucking mother!" "A girl just moved here!" "A teacher, with long curly hair." "Have you seen her?" " A new girl moved into the neighbourhood?" " No, your mother!" "A girl." "A teacher." "Her name's Zeynep." "A cute, hot babe with this curly hair." " Zeynep." " Aha, Zeynep." "She's hot, plus she's single." "She lives alone." "Imagine." "You get her on the bed." "You lie down next to her." "And for five hours you don't lay a finger on her." "Then you wake up." "You wake her up all sweet and gentle, you climb on top of her you get her on all fours, and fuck her like crazy." "You give it all you've got." "Pump her five, 10, 15, 20 times. 24/7, fuck it!" "Do it till the bitch begs you to pull out because it hurts." "So you pull out and ram into wherever doesn't hurt." "Her mouth, nose, ass, whatever." "Hey, what's going on?" "Hello!" "Your fucking body chemistry has changed again." "What's up?" "I'll fuck you too!" "Sit down." "What are you staring at?" "Sit down, I said." "Sit down!" "You're really asking for it, you know!" "Sit down!" "I have to get up early tomorrow." "So you're telling me to go, huh?" "You think I'm that selfish?" "Don't I know it's late for you, that you open up shop in the morning?" "But right now, sit down." "Fuck your body chemistry!" "Sit down, fucker!" "You know what?" "I swear if I didn't like you if I seriously didn't like you you'd have that fantasy I described coming right your way." "But we're friends, right?" "We're neighbours, right?" "We live a floor apart, right?" "You're going to do my head in, you know." "Anyway..." "The show goes on." "I'm out of here." "So are you going to lend me 50 lira?" "I want a loan." "I know." "My tab at the store is piling up." "The rent's piling up." "But I promise you I'll pay you back really soon." " When?" " You don't seem to get it." "You're still asking when." "We're drinking raki here." "We're friends." "Who else am I going to ask?" "I'm telling you I need money." "So if don't give it you don't want." "Fine." "But if you ever need anything from me, just see what I'll fucking do to you." "Don't give me the money, fuck it!" "Don't bother." "If I wasn't chasing a big job I'd never ask you for it." "If it works out, I'll make more money than you can get your head around." "I'll heap bundles of it in front of you." "I'll open a new shop for you, I swear!" "I'll buy the place I'm renting." "I'll buy the place I live." "So let's celebrate!" "Fill it up." "I told you I'm leaving." "Fill it up." "Look, I'm drinking fast just for you and still you're gawking at me." "Fill it up!" "There..." "Let me add some water to yours." "Zeynep..." "Zeynep..." "Zeynep..." "Zeynep..." "Zeynep..." "Zeynep..." "Zeynep..." "DAY THREE" "Good morning." "Good morning." "How are you this morning?" "I'm fine, thanks." "Can I have a pack of Tekel 2000s?" "I can't find my wallet again." "Every day I promise to put it somewhere easy to find but then I never seem to manage." "It's not a problem." "No, absolutely not." "For that reason alone I keep people waiting for hours." "Do excuse me, please." "It's not a problem." "Really." "You can pay later." "Why should you have to suffer just because I'm so hopeless?" "Lt's not a problem." "Besides, we're neighbours now." "Here, I've found it." "But I don't have any change." "You don't?" "No." "So what do we do now?" "Pay me later." "No, I can't do that." "It's OK." "What's the problem?" "Well, all right then." "I'll give you the money on my way home this evening." "OK." "Thanks." "See you this evening." "Selam aleykum, boss!" "Change this 100 lira for me, will you?" "Thanks." "Hey, boss." "Your letter fell on the floor." "Good morning." " Do you sell Birinci cigarettes?" " No, we don't." "Well, what are the cheapest cigarettes you have?" "There's Maltepe." " How much are they?" " Two lira thirty." "Can I have a pack then?" "Umm..." "Excuse me." "Do you have a light?" "Thank you very much." "I'm sorry." " Can I ask you something?" " Sure." "Go ahead." "Why is life so cruel?" "People..." "Why are people so cruel?" "Why is life so hard and so beautiful and so impossible to walk away from?" "OK, why do people go to such lengths to misunderstand one another?" "My wife..." "My wife really resents me." "Because I've failed to give her the kind of life she wants." "Because I haven't been the man she wants me to be." "My kids..." "My kids really resent me too." "Because I can't buy them computers, clothes, shoes, cars..." "My boss..." "My boss never stops sneering at me." "It's like he wants to remind me what a useless person I am every hour of the day." "He really resents me too." "Because I haven't made him a lot of money." "My friends and acquaintances, my family, they don't even respect me." "They resent me too." "Because I'm not the man they want me to be." "Because I don't take them out for meals." "Because I can't lend them money." "Because I'm a millstone around their necks." "Because I'm incapable of having a good time like they do." "The government..." "The government resents me too." "Because I don't pay more taxes." "Because every so often I ask awkward questions." "Because I vote for the wrong party." "You know what?" "I'm bleeding all over." "I'm in pain." "I'm falling apart." "I want to be the kind of man they want me to be." "But I can't." "I tell my friends, my family, my boss, my wife, my kids that I'm sorry." "I say I'm sorry I can't be the kind of man they want me to be." "But they don't hear me." "I talk about my misery, my despair, my troubles." "And they don't listen." "I..." "I..." "I say, "Help me." And they run away." "I say, "Can we talk?" And they get up to leave." "I say I'm dying." "And they ask when I'm going to die." "Will you please tell me what's happened?" "What's happened to us?" "Lt never used to be like this." "So what's happened now?" "Why do people no longer have time for certain thoughts and feelings?" "Why do they rush about so much?" "Why don't they stop even for a moment to think about the meaning of life, humanity and the universe?" "Why don't they listen when I tell them about my misery, my despair, my troubles?" "Why do they find all my dreams, my desires and my cries for help so hollow, affected and insincere?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Tell me why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Please help me." "Help me." "Please..." "Please." "Why don't they accept me as I am and treat me as one of their crowd?" "Why do I always have to interest them and talk to them so that they like me even though I'm not convinced by any of it?" "Why do I have to have an ego?" "Why do I have to be selfish when I'm with them?" "Why do I have to compete simply in order to exist?" "Please..." "Please help me." "Tell me the secret to survival." "Look, if you do know it, give me some guidance, please." "Because I don't want to live my life alone any more." "Give me the strength to live life." "Why am I so hopeless at living life?" "Please help me." "Please..." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Forgive me." "I've troubled you with my problems." "I'm sorry..." "I'm sorry..." "I'm sorry." " God damn..." " Shut the fuck up!" "Son of a bitch!" "God damn you!" "Help!" "Help!" "You son of a bitches!" "Help!" "Help!" "Shut up!" "God damn you!" "Please don't!" "Please!" "Shut the fuck up!" "What are you staring at, fucking asshole?" "Fuck off!" "Get out of here!" "God damn you!" "Hello?" "Police emergency services." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "That's it!" "I've had it." "Mehmet!" "Mehmet!" "Mehmet!" "Mehmet, don't go!" "Don't go, Mehmet!" "What the hell are you staring at?" "DAY FOUR" "He must have had some problems, poor man." " I hadn't heard that." " The neighbours told me." "I'M SORRY" "What's happened?" "I saw him on the street a few times." "Here you go." "Three hundred and fifty lira." "Have a good week." "See you next time." "Whoa!" "Hey, where have you been?" "I've been waiting two hours for you." "Whoa!" "Steady on!" "Goddamn moron!" "Asshole!" "Could we talk for a minute?" "Lt won't take long." "Just a few minutes." "Please." "Which way are we going?" "There's the living room this way and a roof terrace through there." "Outdoors is better." "Let's sit on the terrace." "OK." "Please..." "I feel like a drink." "Do you have anything alcoholic?" "Yes." "What can I get you?" "Raki." "Raki?" "Raki." "Go on through and I'll get your raki." "Aren't you having any?" "I drank too much last night." "Are you angry with me?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to say what I said." "I mean, when I saw you staring at me there in the street so late at night..." "I'm sorry for being so rude." "I just happened to be passing." "All of a sudden..." "I'm sorry." "Isn't it nice seeing everything from above?" "You get to notice more of the details." "When everything's within easy reach or when you see things from far away your chances of messing up are pretty much zero, aren't they?" "But..." "Life would be unbearable then." "Why?" "Everyone would be like everyone else." "Everything that was special would become invisible." "How could you tell, how could you pick out things that were special to you?" "You're really extraordinary." "I'm ugly, aren't I?" "You misunderstand." "That's not what I meant." "I mean, you're not like other people in the neighbourhood." "You're different." "You're the second friend I have here after Hatice Teyze, my landlady." "She really likes you, you know." "Hatice Teyze was my mother's best friend." "It was her who told me where you lived." "I turned up without any warning." "I mean, you don't mind, do you?" "Who was that guy?" "He..." "He's the guy I love." "Mehmet." "The guy I love more than anyone or anything." "But he doesn't want me." "Yes, you heard right." "I really love him, but he doesn't want me." "You smoke 2000s too?" "Aha." "I've smoked them since they first came out." " Help yourself." " No, they have a bad effect on me." "They have a bad effect on you?" "Umm..." "It's just I got sick." "And my throat..." "It's not good for me right now." "If you're sick, let's sit inside." "No, no." "This is fine." "Being outside is better." "It's good to get fresh air." "That's what the doctor said." "Orange juice also." "Grapefruit juice, carrot juice, grape juice..." "I mean, all juices..." "They're supposed to be good for you." "For..." "For people with colds, I mean." "Vegetables..." "It's important to eat regularly." "That's what the doctor said." "I went to the doctor." "How much did you see?" "Of what?" "Of what happened yesterday." "Oh, right." "I umm..." "I mean, just as I was passing..." "I hardly saw anything actually." "I met Mehmet in a folk music bar." "He owns the bar where I met him." "One weekend, I was persuaded to go out with some teacher friends." "Mehmet was a close friend of one of them." "He's one of the old crowd." "The old, flaky leftists." "Later that evening he came over to our table." "After the introduction thing he sat down with us." "At first I found him crass and obnoxious so I didn't pay much attention." "But he stared at me the whole time." "It's like his eyes were devouring me." "Then when our eyes met he'd suddenly look away." "That went on for a good hour or so." "Sometimes I'd stare at him deliberately." "Just to see the weird thing he did with trying to look away." "Anyway, while we carried on with that weird game the drinks were flowing." "We were all drunk as skunks, and most of all me." "I drank whatever was put in front of me." "I couldn't even stand upright any more." "Because I didn't stop drinking I kept needing to go to the bathroom." "A couple of times when I got up to go to the bathroom I almost fell on top of him." "He'd go bright red, grab hold of me and try to stop me falling." "I said to myself, the jerk thinks I'm falling on him on purpose." "I guess I was right because the way he looked at me was getting out of control." "He wasn't undressing me with his eyes." "It's like he was eating me, fucking me." "Anyway..." "I don't know how long we sat there." "I was completely plastered by now." "I couldn't stand up." "All I could do was sit there." "It was really late by then." "Suddenly I hit on this folk song." "I couldn't remember the words or tune exactly." "But I kept humming it." "Anyway..." "It was really late." "All the other customers had left." "Our group was completely plastered." "The odd row broke out, there was the odd fit of jealousy but he settled all that." "No one could tell us to leave either with the boss sitting there." "Anyway..." "I was still humming that song." "Then suddenly he turned to me and asked what I was humming." ""A song," I said." ""I can't remember the tune or words."" "He told me to hum a bit." "So I did." "He called to one of the waiters." "The waiter came running." "He whispered something to him." "The waiter ran off, grabbed a baglama from the stage and brought it to him." "As I was thinking, the jerk's still trying to show off he started playing the song I'd been humming." "Look, I thought." "The jerk can play the baglama too." "Anyway..." "Then he started singing the song too." "As soon as he started singing that song as soon as I heard his voice, I drifted into another time zone." "And I was captivated." "He sang it so beautifully, that song I'd been trying to remember all night." "Everyone at the table started crying." "Me included." "A guy who sings so beautifully, who plays the baglama so beautifully must be a really good person, I thought." "And that moment I felt this guy should be mine and I should be his." "And that's what happened." "We spent the night together." "Next day he cleared off." "I'd fallen in love with him in one night." "I was hooked." "I couldn't eat, couldn't drink, couldn't concentrate on my classes." "I roamed around the streets of Istanbul like a ghost." "But he'd vanished." "He didn't call either." "Anyway, one night I lost it and went to the bar where I met him." "He wasn't there." "I asked the guys working there." "But they wouldn't tell me where he was." "I was about to lose it." "My whole mind was taken up with him." "I'd forgotten myself..." "My family, my work." "I kept having these crying fits for no reason at all." "You know, on the bus." "At school." "One day I was going home after school, but then I changed my mind." "I began wandering aimlessly through the streets." "Because when I went home I was lonely and just thought about him more." "I just felt worse." "I don't know how long I walked around." "I spent ages looking in shop windows, at the film posters in cinemas." "When I finally I decided it was time to sleep and went back home I found him waiting at the door." "I went crazy." "I hit him." "I kissed him." "I hit him again, I kissed him again." "I cried, I laughed." "I spent the nicest week of my life with him." "But after a week he left again." "I was really about to lose it." "I howled like a beast." "I was falling apart." "I mean, it's like my organs were shriveling up." "No, I said." "This can't go on." "You must forget him." "I went to a bunch of therapists." "I couldn't forget him." "I dated other guys." "I couldn't forget him." "I got drunk every night." "I couldn't forget him." "I couldn't forget him." "In the end, I moved to this neighbourhood so he'd lose track of me, so he wouldn't find me when he came back." "I thought, I'll forget him." "And I sort of did forget him." "But then he showed up again." "Anyway I realized once again how much I loved him." "And then he left again." "I don't know why he leaves." "I think I know him." "Then I decide I don't know him at all." "This time I thought I had him worked out." "Then I realized I'm not even anywhere near that." "Every time he leaves I lose it." "And I can't find him." "Then I worry about him." "I miss him." "Have I upset you?" "But this time I'm going to forget him." "When he turns up I'm not going to open the door to him." "I'm not going to welcome him with open arms." "I'm not going to take him into my bed." "I'm not going to touch him." "I'm not going to breathe in his scent." "I'm not going to kiss him." "And..." "Am I going to forget him?" "Yes, I'm going to forget him." "You..." "You don't have to come with me." "I can go by myself." "No, really." "I'll drop you home." "No, I'll be OK." "I want to walk a bit by myself." "Thank you for everything." "Good night." "DAY FIVE" "Good morning, princess of my senses..." "I've been blinded." "By you, by your light." "I know I'm chasing the impossible." "But isn't the impossible that has value?" "Why would you care about this trivial, ugly life of mine?" "But I am yours." "An admirer who loves you, is in love with you and wants you..." "DAY SIX" "Oh God!" "What on earth have I done?" "What have I done?" "I should go back and get it." "Good morning." "Good morning." "How are you?" "I'm fine." "Can I have a pack of cigarettes?" "You're all anxious today." "Is something wrong?" "No." "Are you still sick then?" "No, I'm not." "I'm a bit tired, I suppose." "That should be enough along with what I owe from before." "OK." "Yes." "Fine." "Look." "I'm not rummaging for my wallet any more." "OK." "See you." "Expecting someone or something?" "No." "Who would I be expecting?" "You took one look at me and your whole face fell." "No." "I was sleeping." "In your clothes?" "Right, you would." "Got any raki, Geronimo?" " Got any raki in the house?" " No, I haven't." "If that's a lie, you've got this coming to you." " It's not!" "I'd give you some if I had." " Fuck you!" "No, you wouldn't, asshole!" "Anyway, I'm not here for the raki." "Now look, I'm in deep shit." "I need to clear out of here fast." "We're friends, right?" "That's why I'm here telling you." "But I can't clear out." "Why?" " Ask me why." "Go on, ask!" " Why?" "Because I'm out of cash." "We're friends, right?" "Neighbours, right?" "We live a floor apart, right?" "Suppose you lend me a bit, I get out of here and save my ass?" "I don't have any money." " You mean you're out of money." " Yes." "You don't have any money." "No." "I had to buy things today." "I gave it all to the wholesale guy." "Hello!" "There's a problem, I said." "I have to clear out." "I'm in the shit." "Asshole!" "I took you for a friend." "That's why I'm here asking for money." " And you tell me you don't have any." " I don't." "I spent it all." " You gave it to the wholesale guy." " Ye..." "Then here's how we do it." "I tell you I've got a problem, I have to clear out." "I ask you for money." "You say no can do, you gave it all to the wholesale guy." "Well, you give and you get, amigo." "That's what it's all about." "What do we have here?" " What?" " No idea." "Shall we take a look?" "Let's take a look." "Let's just unfold the thing." "'Good morning, princess of my senses.' Get a load of that." "'I've been blinded.' Whoa!" "How's that for fancy writing!" "How many days did it take to dream that up, asshole Geronimo?" " Give it here!" " Hang on!" "Don't touch!" "I just told you I needed money, right?" "Asshole!" "I knew you were up to something." "Wanker!" "Aren't you ashamed to go hitting on girls round here?" "Don't you stop at eyeing up our women in the neighbourhood?" "Now suppose I fold up the letter, stick it back in here and give it to you you give me the money and we make a deal." "Then you're happy and I'm happy too, amigo." "But if you say no deal, then this goes out to the whole tribe, asshole Geronimo!" "Meaning I'll take photocopies and stuff them under everyone's doors." "Then think about how I get copies of you and stuff them under everyone's doors." "I don't have any money!" "Give that back!" "Lf you don't have cash on you you have a money box." "What do you mean?" "What's that in your pocket, asshole?" "And you say you have no money!" " I don't!" " Fuck you!" "Prick!" "Asshole!" "No money, you say." "So what the fuck's this?" "Let go, dickhead!" "Let go!" "And the fucker says he doesn't have any money!" "What's this, huh?" "What's this?" "Start harassing my mum for the rent and I'll ram this right up that watermelon ass of yours." "OK?" "Bye then." "DAY SEVEN" "DAY EIGHT" "Taxi!" "Welcome!" "How about this table?" "What would you like to drink?" " Raki." " Sure." "Right away." " Anything else?" " Thanks." " Mehmet?" " What?" " Where are you going?" " I have things to do." " What things?" " None of your business." " Don't go." " What?" "What is it to you?" " Don't go." " Let go of me." "Let go of my arm." "I have to go." " You're not going anywhere!" " I am." " Don't go, I said!" " What's it to you?" " Where are you going?" " What's it to you?" " Then give me your number." " No." "No way." "Why not?" "Take me with you." " None of your business." " Take me with you." " You're not coming anywhere." " Take me with you." " Drop it." " Take me with you." " Just drop it!" "Fuck off!" " Look, Zeynep." " Don't go!" "Mehmet, don't go!" " Don't be so pig-headed!" " Why?" "Why?" " Why can't I come?" " What's it to you?" " Where are you going?" " What's it to you?" "Fuck your ass!" "Little whore!" "Don't!" "Whore!" "You're a whore, are you?" "Huh?" "Leave me the fuck alone!" " Don't!" "Stop!" " Mehmet!" " Don't!" "Don't!" " Don't." " Who the fuck are you?" " Don't." " Don't!" " Who the fuck are you?" "Don't!" " Stop it!" " Don't!" " Don't!" " Stop it!" "You fucker!" "Don't!" "Please stop!" "Please!" "Please!" "I really love him!" "Please!" "Please don't!" "I can't live without him!" "Please!" "Please don't!" "Please don't!" " You fucker!" " Mehmet!" " You fucker!" " Mehmet, stop!" " You fucker!" " Don't, Mehmet!" " Bastard!" " Please, stop!" " Please!" " Who the fuck are you?" " You're fucked!" " Come on!" " Fucking son of a bitch!" "I'll get you!" " Mehmet, please!" " Mehmet, please!" " Motherfucker." " Fucking son of a bitch!" "I'll get you!" " Mehmet, please!" "Get off me!" "You asshole!" "Don't!" "Don't!" "Don't!" "Don't!" "EIGHT DAYS IN THE LIFE OF ALÝ" "For Nesrin..."