"Hello." "You're watching The Lowdown with SG-1 on Sci Fi." "Hi, I'm Teal'c." "You're watching The Lowdown on Sci Fi." "Good evening." "You're watching The Lowdown on Sci Fi, with SG-1 ." "Yes, that's it." "Just when you think you're not in Kansas any more, turns out you are." "You've probably noticed the Wizard of Oz references on our show, and we as a cast like to play into that." "Teal'c is the obvious Lion, Daniel the obvious Scarecrow," "Jack O'Neill the Tin Man, and Samantha Carter, Dorothy." "Unfortunately, Rick likes to be Dorothy." "And you were there and you were there, and there's no place like home." "I'm melting/ l'm melting/ What a world" "We're off to see the Wizard." "Any indigenous lions, tigers or bears I should lie awake worrying about?" "Unless they've redecorated the gate room, we're not in Kansas any more." "Mekta satak Oz" "This is the only thing I've ever really demanded as a producer." "I demand a sense of humour." "Who do you think the funniest person on the show is?" "Who's the funniest person on the show?" "Who is the funniest person on the show?" "It's not about funniness or humour or ha-ha's." "I mean, I'm funny, but, you know, the show's not." "A top-secret government program involving instantaneous travel to other solar systems by means of a device known as a Stargate." "Sounds like a good idea for a TVshow, if you're into that sort of thing." "As we're having a table reading, I'll improvise or make stuff up, or twist a word here or there or take an idea and just run tangentially with it." "Don't judge a book by its cover." "I have found over the years - and the poor cast that have had to endure my shenanigans..." "Literally had to endure this, cos l at times don't have control over it." "It's a frightening reality for me." "Yet birds of a feather..." "You look at him and go, "Are you really gonna say it like that?"" "It's not a sign of madness. lt's just a sign, I think, of cosmic giddiness." "(distorted) I am Anubis" "Come on." "Who talks like that?" "Rick, with the MacGyver experience, knowing that this is something that could go seven years, and here we are, the seventh year..." "He needed to broaden the character and bring a lot more of himself into it, cos that's his comfort zone." "You spent seven years on MacGyver and you can't figure this one out?" "We got belt buckles and shoe laces and a piece of gum." "Build a nuclear reactor, for crying out loud." "You used to be MacGyver, MacGadget, MacGimmick." "Now you're Mr MacUseless." "Dear God!" "I'm stuck on a glacier with MacGyver!" "In watching some old MacGyver episodes," "MacGyver wasn't a very funny guy." "If I may, sir, I think what he means is, the wick is the centre of the candle." "Ostensibly a great leader like yourself is essential to the whole ball of wax." "What it means is that it's always better to have a big long wick." "Right?" "I have purposefully made him a little thick." " Tell." " lt is. I can't stand him." "A little dense, a little slow on the uptake, which in itself is funny to me, a man to be of authority and this highly ranked in the military, to be that slow in the face of Carterisms." "The device creates a modulated dampening field around the liquefied..." "Which controls the energy transfer to the capacitor." "That might bring the phase particles into our visible spectrum." "And all he can say is:" "What?" "I..." "What?" "These characters live in our world, in our generation, our time line, and they see all these strange things." "What would you say?" "Rick's character provides that sarcastic dialogue and commentary upon some of the tackier or stranger things we see in our universe." "I suppose you wanna talk to these bug people." " Don't you?" " No." "As long as Rick doesn't turn out to be a complete jackass, we're gonna have some good on-screen chemistry." "A monk is just someone who's sort of taken up a curatorship." " Kind of a janitor?" "." " More of a guide. lt doesn't matter." "He's the guy who's constantly screwing around." "He's like a bad kid." "He's a brat." "I was sure that was an aspirin I took." "Jack, it's really me." "You have to find the Eye of Ra before Anubis." "Keep it, hide it, destroy it, whatever." "We don't have much time." "Hey, Daniel." "How ya doin'?" "Long time." "How are things in the higher planes?" "Brad and I have been sort of harbouring a secret that Stargate is actually a comedy for a number of years." " Was it ever funny?" " Yeah, it worked really well." "Look at these readings." "Sir, these are leptons." "Get out." "You think I'm funny?" "(sighs) She's funny." "Do you think you're funny?" " l'm funny." "Kirk, I'm funny, right?" " Uh, yes." "We want them to tell their story in their way, their style." "Unless the style's stupid." "Tell us about some of your co-stars this week." "Do I have co-stars... in this project?" "I think I'm actually the only one on set." "And there you have it." "Mr Michael Rooker, guest star, "Enemy Mine"." "Other than other sci-fi shows, we're fallible present-day human beings." "And we put it in the valley of the shadow of death... and then... I get to play with myself." "Do not take ourselves too seriously." "He's everywhere." "You're in every location today." "Less so now than at the beginning." "We're so comfortable with each other." "I think it makes it more accessible." "We just needed the ratio of the decay rate relative to the energy output." "How do you even begin to recalibrate a field that you can't generate?" "It can be a bit blue-collarish and strange at times, where you shake your head and do the Galaxy Quest and say "What am I doing?"" "They feed off each other, and that, too, makes for better film." "I wanna be funny." "When do I get to be funny?" "I never get to be funny." "Sam's not funny." "Damn her." "There's this kind of thought that being an actor is all fun and games and parties and drinking and women, and it isn't. lt's a lot of hard work." "A lot of us like to do as many as our own stunts as we can, and sometimes you have to take the good with the bad and, yeah, I've got a couple of battle wounds there." "The colonel finally takes a knee because he wants to go home this week." "I wanted..." "All right, fine!" "I'm down." "All of us have suffered various injuries in bringing this show to you." " What planet are we on?" " This is the planet known as Erebus." "The first level of hell." "It's so important for a work environment to acknowledge that it's not a life-and-death situation, especially in this business." "It's entertainment." "We're gonna show you where some of these great stories come from." "And a little hint:" "one of the stories comes from a very special cast member." "I'm Amanda Tapping." "You're watching The Lowdown with Stargate SG-1, right here on Sci Fi." "The most important thing for writing for Stargate SG-1 is how many lines you get." "If it's not there, where do you see the emotional catharsis for the character?" "What's a catharsis?" "We couldn't have done this without you." "I should've been more appreciative." "The fruit basket was nice." "It had great potential as a series." "You have probably television's greatest standing prop, that thing back there, and you're limited only by your imagination about what kind of story you can tell, which is, I think, one of the things you desperately need to be successful," "the ability to tell good stories." "That's all it comes down to, kids." "Where are you going?" "I don't know." "I remember when we first came onboard, season four, we'd be in our offices, going "How are we gonna come up with stories?"" ""Imagine if we'd go to a season five."" "But as time goes on, it becomes easier." "Somebody forgets his birthday." "No one's remembered his birthday." "Teal'c is depressed, he goes through the Gate." "The second he steps through on Chulak, there's the rest of SG-1 ." "and they're gonna throw him a surprise party." "is it funny?" "Now what?" "I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jell-O." "Call Daniel." "You can go back to the pre-established mythologies or the back-stories that have been set and pick up some of the story lines or sort of the dangling plot threads that need to be addressed." "Essentially what is best for the story is what we end up with." "Nobody ever storms out of the room, crying." " Except Damian, that one time." " But we won't talk about that." "I think that it's sort of a dynamic of a person going" ""l was in the shower looking at the drain and realised we need to do a wormhole story about X."" "If you surround yourself with creative people..." "Unfortunately, in this case, we didn't." "Wait, wait, wait." " She knocks Teal'c down?" " Yeah." "Teal'c doesn't get knocked down by a woman." "We're all equally responsible for whatever's good and whatever's bad." "Major, I thought I told you to just stay put." "Yeah, it's written." "She's not really a woman." "She was a woman and then she became a man, then became a woman again." "But Teal'c gets knocked down?" "I haven't gotten knocked down in seven years." "You have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of." "You ended that sentence with a preposition/ l'm notorious for pulling it out of the air and making it up on the spot." "Everyone calls me on it." "Paul will be, like, "There's no Mayan god named Fred."" "Sure there is." "I am Baal." "That's it?" "Just "Ball"?" "As in boccie?" "OK, got another one." "I've been saving this one because this one's gonna kick ass." "What happens is Hammond retires, and he joins the amateur rodeo circuit." "I need help with the ending." "I don't want anything too ridiculous, but something that just kind of ties into the whole enraged-bull- amateur-rodeo-circus idea." "Have you gotten this pitch before?" "We've developed a complex mythology on this show that's specific to Stargate." "And so there is a uniqueness to the science fiction angle of Stargate." " How about mythology?" " Rumours, lies, fairy tales." "See?" "See, see, see, see, see?" "I think the episodes work well when you find something from the past that we haven't mined yet and go "Ooh!"" "I have to update the drift calculation to include gravitational space-time warping." "I only understand about one per cent of what she says half the time." "I do understand what I'm saying because I research it." "We'll figure it out." " Recreating the neural structure on a..." " lt defies the uncertainty principle." "During the totality phase of the eclipse, we should see matter spiralling towards it." "Otherwise, there would be this Bambi look in my eyes that wouldn't sell it." "Tal mek kree." "Mekta!" "A umala dug..." "Oh, (beep)!" "What is it?" "Making up alien dialogue is absolutely the worst part of my job. I just hate it." "Very hard consonants and things with the "kek," that means "kill"." "And "kree-ga", which means "get ready to kill somebody."" "And then they've got "debrink", which means "kill that guy again."" "Teal'c is a man who does not bend to the little..." "She's wearing what?" "Some little skimpy armour?" "So now suddenly Teal'c isn't Teal'c any more?" "He's lost the entire essence of his character." "This is slack twaddle!" "She's really hot, though." " Who's playing her?" " Jolene Blalock." " OK, so when do we shoot that?" " Next week." " She'll be almost buck-naked." " Great." "Aristotle would be proud of us." "We've had fun along the way in telling a good story." "Hi, Jack." "Daniel." "I leave, and look at the mess you get yourself into." "I think the writers had a tough time figuring out how to bring Daniel back. lt was a difficult decision for Michael." "His numerologist said "Don't come back", his astrologer said "Come back", and his Pilates coach said "Come back"." "It was about the place where the character had become a bit superfluous, and so I thought it was time to go try out other things as well." "Michael coming back is wonderful." "I've always enjoyed working with him." " We need to do something." " l agree with you." "But I haven't had the brilliant revelations you seem to have had." "Try coming up with something better than inappropriate sarcasm." "You want sarcasm?" "Nice to meet you." "He has a savvy and a rhythm, an awareness of rhythms, and he's a good actor, and I have a ball playing off him." "It's a shame you're a delusion." "No, I'm here. I'm really here." "Sure you are." "We don't talk actually off-camera cos we still really don't get along." "I just thought I'd see how far that rumour goes." "He's my running buddy." "That's Michael Shanks." "Shanks!" "What's up, man?" "I missed him, but I'm kinda glad he went away for a year because when he came back, it was, like, "He's so totally meant to be here."" "Teal'c is a warrior." "Carter's a warrior." "O'Neill is a warrior." "So I think that it's important that we have that damsel in distress." "You really think this is the best angle for me?" "I'd have got you out, blown up this rathole and made sure the son of a bitch suffered." " They'd have stopped you." " They'd have a fight on their hands." " Baal would be dead..." " You're a better man than that." "That's where you're wrong" "Anytime you have to come on and create a new character that essentially is replacing another one, there's gonna be a bit of pressure, especially if someone's established for years on a show." "People are extremely used to the dynamics that are already established." "And you're looking for someone to blame?" "I'm not gonna let you tarnish his name." "See, I don't care what that stuff is worth to anyone." "My government will admit Daniel is guilty over my dead body." "Consequently, I never got to write for Michael Shanks until season seven." "And so I was indoctrinated into the world of Jonas Quinn, then had to learn about writing for Daniel Jackson." "And they are not placeholder roles." "These guys are very, very different." "It's like writing for the original Spider-Man versus the new Spider-Man." "It's like..." "That's a horrible way to put it." "There was expected to be tension between us, which I don't understand, but it was almost like, when the two of you entered the room at the same time, people waited for the gloves to come off and somebody to throw a punch." "There were difficult moments, but that was only in the beginning." "Once I relaxed, everything seemed to go all right." "Me and Michael have never had any issues whatsoever, not even in the least, because there was no bad blood to begin with." "Nothing weird happened. lt was a decision that was made, and it was all good." "I'm not actually allowed to comment on that particular situation any more." "But let me just say that whatever you have read in the press, depending on what it is, is either true or not true." "Coming up on The Lowdown, a preview of season seven, featuring some great adventures and some of the loves of season seven, featuring Teal'c." "This is..." "You're watching..." "You're watching The Lowdown ." "You're getting..." "You're getting the lowdown." "You're watching..." "What?" "You're watching me try to say" ""You're getting the lowdown on Stargate SG-1 here on Sci Fi."" "Jaffa, kree" " lt's fun, isn't it?" " Yeah." "Welcome to extras holding on the seventh season of SG-1." "This year, more than any other year, we've really got a handle on the Ancient story line." "I got it." "Teal'c/ Teal'c/ l got it/ lt's not the Lost City." "It's the City of the Lost." "Two words: gate address." "Where we're gonna end up, I don't completely know." "I actually don't know." "It just occurred to me that I haven't the slightest idea." "Daniel?" "It's pretty much left open." "Who knows?" "One: nothing's been decided for sure." "Two: they don't tell me anything." "You were a member of my team, SG-1." "You're a friend of mine." "Our goal is to take out Anubis' new super weapon." "This is the wackiest plan we've ever come up with." "I'm gonna be directing an episode this year." " What's it called?" " l have no idea." " Have you seen the script yet?" " No." "But one of our cast members is writing what I hear is a brilliant script." "Chris Judge is gonna be writing an episode this year." "Well, I guess, on the simplest terms, it's about Amazons." "When I'm wearing a hat, it's easier to see me as Chris Judge the writer." "Sometimes when I walk into a room as the writer and I'm not wearing my headgear, it's just, "Hey, there's Teal'c."" "But I find that..." "See, look." "Writer." "A lot of it's just in the headgear." "Fortunately for us, it will involve long hours of arduous casting of beautiful women." "She's naked." "She's naked and sweaty." "Barely clothed." "And you see her..." "And you see all that and all that..." "And I love that." "How can you ask for more?" "You're gonna find the lost city of the Ancients." " Lost city?" " Didn't tell him about that either, huh?" "At the conclusion of season seven, we'll know more about the Ancients than we ever have." "We're gonna know about where they went, and we're going to find out where they are right now." "Look for the Ancients and the lost city." "We don't know where it is." "Help us find it." "Look for the lost city." "As I said a long time ago to audience members wondering where they were," ""l think maybe you've already met them."" "(distorted) Welcome home, Jonas Quinn." "If Anubis can overcome the instability of the naquadria, it will give him an advantage over all of his enemies." "If there were over 100,000 people living here, where did they all go?" "You know what I'd really like to do is meet the cast of Star Trek somewhere." "I really want those damn Jaffa to be free." "That was very butch." "We're gonna introduce a new soldier working for Anubis." "Cannon fodder." "Characters we can kill off with gay abandon." "I think it's just gonna be a really busy year for the character." "His empire's expanded faster than anyone expected." " l blame only myself." " Teal'c..." "Leave me be." "I would tell you." "I tell everything. I'm easy." "I'm an easy torture victim." "You can get anything out of me." "To be honest with you..." "No, I can't be honest with you." "I like vanilla over chocolate, my favourite colour is peridot, I think Tibet should be free, and if I could have dinner with anyone in the world, it'd be Mary Steenburgen." " l'm just..." "Mary Steenburgen?" " She's nice." "I hope you've enjoyed The Lowdown on Stargate SG-1." "The real skinny, the inside scoop." "Season seven is coming up." "I hope you'll watch, cos quite frankly, I have nothing else lined up." "So enjoy." "I just woke up, I haven't had coffee, let alone a pee, in seven days, and I find out you stole my ass and made a... mini-me." "You still don't realise who you're talking to/ l don't give a damn" "No/ There will be no sacrifice of any kind." "Jack/ l joined Stargate Command so that maybe one day I could protect my planet from the Goa'uld. instead I brought them to it." "This is not your work station." "Take him." "Stage two: we are entering the coronasphere of our sun." "Take them now" "The first stage is a test of each ship's defence capabilities." "Against what?" "And there it is. I hope you enjoyed your lowdown on The Lowdown, but that's all, so if you wanna see anything else, you gotta buy another DVD." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "You stay there?" "I'm gonna do the Running Man." "Goodbye." "ENHOH"