" ♪" " So, what are we gonna look at again?" " Seriously?" "Come on, Dave." "I already told you like..." "like a million times." "Basketball shoes." " Right, right." " The coolest shoes ever." "We have to get there before they sell out." "Whoa, whoa, Dave, what are you doing?" " I'm pulling over." "They need help." " No, no, no, Dave, we don't have time." " Alvin, it's the right thing to do." "Hey, uh, do you need a hand?" " Oh, great." "I've got a flat tire and I don't have a jack." " Oh, darn, we don't have a jack either." "Okay, so long, good luck." " No, we... we actually do have a jack." "Um, Alvin, this is gonna take a little while, so go say hi to his son." " Why?" "Why can't I just stay in the car and play?" " Alvin, he's sitting alone." " What am I gonna talk about?" " I don't know." "Use your imagination." "Well that should do it." "Well, you boys were pretty chatty." " Dad, dad, Alvin's got an older brother who's a race car driver." " Wait, wait, what?" " Oh, really?" " Right, Dave?" " Oh, uh, well..." " Yeah, he races in the jungles." " Right?" " The jungles?" "Why I've never heard of that." " Yes, yes, well..." " What does he race?" " Race cars." " Yeah, but what kind?" " Oh, I believe it might be a super-charged XP3 dune buggy." " Wow, whereabouts?" " China." " China?" " Yep, that's... yeah." "The jungles of China." "Uh, Alvin, here we go, okay." "Come on, let's go." " I wasn't aware they raced cars in the jungles of China." "This is the greatest story I've ever heard." "Is there a way I can get your number?" " No, no, I promised him I..." "I'd get him this, you know, super cool pair of, uh, base..., uh, basket..., uh, tennis..., these shoes." " [tires screeching]" " What did you tell him that for?" " You said to use my imagination." "I thought you'd be happy." " To have a son who races cars in the jungles of China?" "Let's just hope we never run into them again." " ♪" " So, I hear you have an older brother." " Excuse me?" " I'd love to hear about him." "I understand he races a super-charged XP3 dune buggy." "He sounds interesting." " Well, you bet he is." "We're... we're so darn proud of him." "Oh, oh, oops, we've gotta run." "Talk to you later." " What was she talking about?" "And what's an XP3 dune buggy?" " How should I know?" "Dave made it up." " But we don't have an older brother." "Do we?" " Alvin?" "Okay, hold on." "What's going on?" "So Dave told this complete stranger he had a son in China who races in the jungles?" "Oh, come on, this is so random." "Why would he do that?" " Um, well, he was making small talk." " That's not small talk." "That's an avalanche of lies, a tsunami of phoniness, okay?" "A tidal wave of bologna." " Then how did Miss Smith find out?" "Oh, whatever." "Now all we can do is cover for him." " [school bell rings]" " We've gotta go." "We can't be late for assembly." " STUDENTS: [chattering]" " All right, everyone, quiet." "We have a very special guest today and someone I am proud to call my friend." "He travels to exotic places around the world to film documentaries and shed light on other customs and cultures." "Please give a warm welcome to Ken Harris." " STUDENTS:" "[applauding]" " [gasps] That's the guy that Dave lied to." " KEN:" "Deep in the Amazon, where no modern man has ever been bid farewell to this long-last land." "We know somehow we must never forget what we've seen." " STUDENTS:" "[applauding]" " MISS SMITH:" "Are there any question for Mr. Harris?" " So what's your next documentary gonna be about?" " For my next project," "I'm hoping to film David Seville's oldest son, who races cars in the jungles of China." " Oh, let's get outta here." " Wait a second." " Who races cars in China?" " I can't believe we lied to all our friends." " David!" "David!" " [gasps]" "Oh, no, Miss Smith's gonna talk to Dave." "Let's go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" " MISS SMITH:" "David!" " What's going on?" "What?" "No!" " What do you think you're doing?" " I'm calling Miss Smith and telling her the truth." "I can't do this." " Uh, Dave, the "I can't do this" ship has already left the dock, okay?" "So now we just have to deal with this mess that you've gotten us into." " Yeah, we..." "we covered for you." " Covered for me?" "No, no, no, no, now wait." " [doorbell rings]" " It's Miss Smith and that guy you lied to." " All right, I'm gonna straighten this out right now." " No, Dave, we'll be humiliated." " Yeah." "Then we'll have to go to another school." " Dave, you've gotta hide." "I'll tell them that you're not here." "Then, you know, we'll have time to figure out, you know, a better lie." " Please, Dave." " I... oh, all right." " [laughing] Mr. Harris and Miss Smith, how good to see you." "Um, what are you doing here?" " Sorry to intrude, but is your father here?" " Oh, darn, you know, you just missed him." " Oh, really?" "His car is in the driveway." "I wanted him to have a chance to speak to my friend about filming his son." " I'd like to be the first one to document his life." "You know, racing in the jungles of China." " Uh, that is a great idea, and I know he'd love to do it." "Except a film's already been made about him." " Ah, shoot, what a shame." "I'd love to see it though." " See what?" " The film... the film that's made of your brother." "Get it to me by tomorrow before class, and tell David we dropped by." " And action!" "Okay, Dave, you're racing, you're racing." "Ooh, high speed through the jungles." "A cute little panda by your side." "[gasps] What's that?" "A baby tiger in the road." "Swerve, Dave, swerve!" "T-T-Theodore, lean with him, but the same direction." "Come on, guys, together, together." "Okay, you know, just cut!" "Cut!" "Oh, Simon, get over here a second." "He looks ridiculous." "No one's gonna believe that's his son." " Yeah, he looks way too old." "We gotta give him some goggles." " Why do I have to wear these?" " Oh, really, Dave?" "You don't understand the reason?" "Maybe because the audience has to believe it's your son and not you." " Yeah, the more we cover you up, Dave, the better." " Why didn't you just tell Miss Smith we didn't have a copy of the film?" " Because I didn't think of it, okay?" "I'm not used to all these lies." " And it's due tomorrow, right?" "This is gonna look ridiculous." " Dave, look, right now you're in front of a green sheet, so, yes, of course, that feels ridiculous." "But after we're finished, it will look like you, or rather your son, is racing through the jungles of China." "So let us at least try and, if it doesn't work, we'll figure something else out." " Okay, but if the film looks ridiculous, guys..." " Don't worry, Dave, we won't send it." " ♪" " ♪ Everybody lies, everybody lies ♪" "♪ But I don't think it's all right ♪" "♪ 'Cause if you tell a lie ♪" "♪ Then I'll be telling lies ♪" "♪ And all we're gonna do ♪" "♪ Is lie, lie, lie" "♪ Yeah oh yeah" "♪ All lies all lies" "♪ La, la, la, la, la" "♪ Everybody lies" "♪ All lies all lies" "♪ La, la, la, la, la" "♪ Everybody lies" "♪ You keep telling the same lies ♪" "♪ And you'll eventually believe it ♪" "♪ And you'll never figure out why ♪" "♪ Why everybody is leaving ♪" "♪ Bye-bye" "♪ Everybody lies, everybody lies ♪" "♪ But I don't think it's all right ♪" "♪ 'Cause if you tell a lie ♪" "♪ Then I'll be telling lies ♪" "♪ And all we're gonna do ♪" "♪ Is lie, lie, lie" " This is a joke." " Sorry, sorry, what?" " It isn't working." "Let's end this." " Did you say it's working?" "Let's send this?" " We're finished." " Oh, well, if you say so." " [computer bings]" " Anyway, so when I saw the film, I told Alvin, you know, just to forget it." "I mean it was horrible." "It was so embarrassing you can't believe it." "So I think we just have to come clean... as humiliating as that's gonna be." " Oh, I totally agree." " Oh, talking about the documentary?" " Yeah, I'm so glad this is over." " Oh, me, too." "Believe me, I had my doubts." "But Simon said send it." " What, what?" "No, no." "I said end it, end it." "Don't tell me you sent it?" " Yes." " Oh, no!" " MAN ON COMPUTER:" "[speaking Chinese]" " And where did you find that narrator?" " I don't know, I don't know." "You know, I found the voices on a Chinese prank show, or soccer game, or something." "But... but look, that's not a problem, okay?" "No one speaks Chinese." " It's called Mandarin, Alvin, and over a billion people speak Mandarin in China alone." " Well, we're not in China." " MAN ON VIDEO:" "[speaking Chinese]" " I happen to speak Mandarin." " I do, too." " Yeah, I do, too." "Why are they saying Viva Italia?" " MAN ON VIDEO:" "[speaking Chinese]" " Swerve, Dave, swerve." " Uh, this is..." "this is pathetic." " [phone rings]" " Don't answer it!" " MISS SMITH:" "David?" " Oh, hello, Miss Smith." " MISS SMITH:" "Get down here." " Right." " That's you in the goggles?" " Yeah, yeah, yes." " Pretending to be your son?" " Well, yes, yeah." " MISS SMITH:" "Because you're the parent!" " DAVE:" "No, no." " MISS SMITH:" "It's a lie!" " DAVE:" "But the kids were saying..." " MISS SMITH:" "No, you're sending the wrong message!" " DAVE:" "But Alvin was the..." " MISS SMITH:" "But you're the parent!" " ♪" " Ooh, Dave's stopping for the pretty lady." " I'm stopping for the pretty lady, I mean," "I'm stopping because she has a flat tire, okay?" "Maybe I could call you for dinner some time." " Oh, I would love that." " ALVIN:" "Dave, Dave, are you almost done?" " Stay, just stay in the car, Alvin." " Dave's a little grouchy because he got in trouble for lying." " Okay, guys." " Yeah, he told the whole school we had an older brother in China, but we don't." " And that's not even mentioning, you know, the... the movie he made where he pretended to be his own son." "But, you know, the goggles..." "well, it fooled nobody." " Now wait a second, guys." " [car door slams]" " [engine revving]" " DAVE:" "It's really not like that!"