"Previously on 'Boston Legal' ...that your Honor recuse herself." " Yes, Alan." "And the wheels of justice would grind to a halt if we recuse every jurist you've slept with." "I'm ready to be disciplined now." "I'm gonna hate myself in the morning." "I want to see a name partner, like..." "Crane's probably dead..." "Schmidt's some kind of minority, so, uh, Poole." "I'll take Poole." "Denny Crane, still alive." "I was told your firm is the best." "I need the best." "That would be me." "Who are you?" "Simon Griffin." "Don't worry." "That name will soon be embedded in your head forever, like Jonas Salk or Paris Hilton." "Can't wait." "I had HIV." "I beat it." "I'm a walking AIDS cure." "Now I want to cash in, hmm?" "Is this for real?" "I tested HIV positive for the first time in 2005 and then once a month the year after." "I just didn't want to accept a death sentence." "I kept thinking a miracle would happen." "And then, 3 months ago, it did." "I went negative." " You've had that rechecked?" " Every other week since." "Dr Freemont, my internist, just confirmed I'm spontaneously cured." "Actually, I've heard of spontaneous cures for cancer, but never for HIV." " You need to keep up." "I'm the first American whose blood sero-converts without treatment." "No medications, nothing." "There's one other guy in England." "In the States, my body is the first to fight off HIV." "Assuming you check out, how exactly can our firm help you?" "I need a team to negotiate book deals, TV appearances... not to sound materialistic." "Not to." "Shouldn't you be letting doctors examine you on the chance that, you know, you could help others?" "Just a thought." "I'll get to that." "But how I see myself in the big picture is as an ambassador, someone everybody knows about and probably desires to be like, somebody who inspires others." "Mainly, I see myself rich." "♫ wikked little grrrls ♫" "♫ with curves and kisses and pearly whites ♫" "♫ you better keep an eye on your boys ♫" "♫ and lock 'em up tight, tight, tight, tight, tight ♫" "♫ you better keep an eye on your boys and lock 'em up tight ♫" "I'm here to see Alan Shore." "Okay, is he expecting you?" "They never expect me." "They always see me." "I'm judge Gloria Weldon." "Mr Shore should be in any moment." "Would you like to wait?" " Thank you." "Your honor." "It was a pleasure to see you." "Please." "Are you familiar with the Amazonian plants psychotria viridis and banisteriopsis caapi?" "No." "You brew the two together, and you arrive at a tea called hoasca." "They call it "the vine of the soul."" "You get a 2-minute peak followed by a 30-minute brain cruise." "Also illegal." "After work, I imbibe— in my chambers, privately." "Last Wednesday evening, without my knowledge, one of my clerks managed to help himself." "He got high as a kite, did a naked dance on the courthouse steps." "Caught, scared, he led the police back to me." "I have been arrested for importation and possession of a schedule 1 narcotic." "That's a buzzkill." "I love my job, Alan." "I'm good at my job." "You have to be creative." "Assuming I take the case—" " You already took the case." " Says who?" "Says me." "I'm the judge." "Once we make a deal with a pharmaceutical company, then I'll have the resources to launch my new persona as a spokesperson." "Talk shows, reality shows, photo ops in Africa, a constant reminder of the message of hope that I represent." "I'm welling up." "I can see you're cynical." "We'll make a good team." "Dr Freemont?" " Hello, Simon." " You two know each other?" "We know each other quite well, don't we, Simon?" "Who is this man, Simon?" "My internist." "Have I got it again?" "No, uh, that's not it." "Okay, will somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?" "Mr Griffin is trying to sell his blood." "That can't happen." " Why not?" " Because I own it." "You own my blood?" "I applied for a patent on your DNA and I got it, so, yes, I own it." "I go to Newton college." "It's an excellent school." "I have no issue with them." "It's the sorority I belong to —or used to, I should say— gamma kappa tau (ΓΚΤ)." "It's a national sorority, and recently, the national officers visited campus and conducted some sort of campus survey." "If I start to talk too fast, just tell me." "I tend to speed up towards the middle of paragraphs." "It's fine." "Anyways, according to this campus poll, the members of ΓΚΤ at Newton were perceived as socially awkward." "As a result, the national officer sort of directed the campus chapter to clean up its image, so to speak." "Mint?" " No, thanks." "Anyway, we all got interviewed, after which, about half of us were invited to leave— told to leave, I should say." "Mainly, it was a group of thin, pretty, popular girls who got to stay." "The rest of us got bounced." "What reason did they give for kicking you out?" "They said that we failed to live up to the sorority's criteria, and when I pushed them on it... —I can be a little pushy— they added that to my list of offenses, "too pushy."" "I think it's wrong." "Can you help me?" "I'll help you." "Denise, um, I, I have this, uh..." "Under the law, you're completely guilty." "I wish I could be more optimistic." "Alan... do you think I came to you for an interpretation of the law?" "I hired you because you get people off." "I would like you to get me—" "I know you can come up with something." "Can we offer any medical reason for you needing to drink this tea?" "Stress?" "The DA's immediate boss, um... there's a possibility that he may be on a little witch hunt." "We were once involved, briefly." "Now we're getting somewhere." "It ended poorly?" "For him." "But he's not the guy handling this." "The case went to somebody who would love to make a name for himself by nailing... convicting me." "Denny, this is..." "Hello." "Judge Weldon." "She's in some legal trouble." "We may need to trade on some of your connections." "Yes, now that your legal analysis is out of the way, let's turn to politics." "Who do you know in the DA's office?" "I know everybody." "I'd like to get to know you better." "Denny, we have a bit of a situation here." "Denny?" "Denny?" "You need to fix this." "You people are supposed to be so fancy and good." "Uh, from what I can tell, the law is not definitive." "Anything in your body belongs to you." "Once it's excised, the legal status is debatable." "That's ridiculous." "It's my blood." "Yes, but Dr Freemont has a patent on the DNA." "It's my blood." "God knows I'm the one who had to suffer with it." "Why can't I be the one who—" "Go ahead, you can say it: "profits."" "The pharmaceutical companies think that's a lovely word." "What are my options?" "Well, first thing, we could go to court and challenge the doctor's claim." "Although as crazy as it may seem, public policy may side with him, since he's in it for the cure, and you, as you say, mainly just want to be rich." "For the purposes of this meeting, let me do the talking." "Of course." "I would never." "Hello, my name is—" "You?" "Good morning." "Jerry Espenson, Pat Ontario." "She's the national president of the sorority ΓΚΤ." "How may we help you?" "Well... your client, or an agent thereof, expelled my client for being socially awkward." "Uh, that's not exactly true." "Pat." "That allegation is without basis." "I'm sorry, but leaving the merits aside, what remedy is your client seeking here?" "Does she long to become a member of a club that's not terribly enthusiastic to have her?" " That was mean." " My intent is only to be pragmatic." "Lawsuits are very costly." "I'm just looking to appreciate what it is your client is specifically after." "$10 million." "Be serious, please." "$15 million." "Clarence, may I call you Clarence?" "20!" "Let's go." "I'm done." "You are a mean, mean, mean woman." "It seems Denny has struck out with his connections." "Unless I'm making one here." "My only play is to convince this district attorney not to bring charges." "How do you plan to do that?" "Well, you say he's a political creature." "You're a very influential judge." "Alan, if these charges stick, I won't be a judge any longer." "Gloria, I don't know what else to tell you." "We face a very difficult row here." "Who else have you slept with?" "Didn't Mitt ever want to make you one of his wives?" "Okay, that you'll get letters for." "Hold on just a second here." "You're saying that man owns that man's blood?" "Not exactly, your honor." " What is he, a vampire?" " Oh, we're in for an adventure." "I heard that!" "My client got a patent on Mr Griffin's blood, which—" "Is ridiculous." "Under the law, once someone removes blood or tissue from your body, you no longer have legal ownership of it." "So my client tested it, got a patent—" "Now hold on just a second." "You can't take his blood without his consent, unless you're the government." "If this blood is used to find a cure for AIDS, my client should be entitled to profit participation." "And the cost of drug research will be so exponentially multiplied, we won't develop cures for anything." "Yes!" "And then we can all go to the Academy awards and wear new ribbons that say, "let's save big pharmaceutical."" "Hold on just a second." "Did this man win an Oscar?" "Judge, this is a very complicated case." "He is using my client's excised blood and tissue." "Moreover, he's basically gotten a patent on the DNA, which prevents my client from ever marketing his own blood." "I want to hear from this vampire doctor." "Get him up on the stand." "How could you, of all people, take this case?" "What's that supposed to mean, I'm socially awkward?" "Or does it mean a lawyer should never take a side he doesn't personally agree with?" "That would quite limit the field of opportunity, wouldn't it?" "And for a socially awkward lawyer, well, he should grab any case he can get, shouldn't he?" "I thought you were a nice person." "I am." "Look, my client doesn't want this kind of publicity." "Make me a reasonable offer, and let's go home." "$50 million." "Denise?" "Thanks for the, uh, antitrust research." "It was very helpful." "Good." "I couldn't help but overhear the deafening silence." "Is everything all right between you and Brad?" "He wants to get married in full military uniform." "He wants us to take our vows with a sword at his side." "Well, if it's important to him—" "Paul, my family is very anti-war." "The whole country— pro-war or not, it's a very painful topic, and I don't want it to cast this huge pall over my wedding ceremony." "The country is not antimilitary." "I know this." "But..." "Look, I am proud of Brad being a marine, Paul." "I am." "But I don't want a full color guard at my wedding." "I just, I don't." "There are over 350 million tissue samples from 180 million Americans stored in labs and hospitals in this country." "They've been used to develop everything from the HIV test to vaccines, cancer treatments." "You don't have to get permission from the patient to use their tissue?" "We do." "It's part of the standardized form you sign when you get medical treatment." "He signed that form, by the way." "Along with a zillion others you jammed in front of my face." "Sit down, you." "Doctor, if Mr. Griffin is allowed to reclaim the rights to his discarded blood and tissue and sell them to a pharmaceutical company, what will happen?" "Well, I work under a federal grant, which means any fruits of my work belong to the government." "The cures we come up with will belong to the public, as they should." "You think this could lead to a cure?" "I don't know." "It could." "His blood sero-converted." "The HIV vanished." "That's only happened once before." "If we can find out how... imagine." "Okay, but Mr Griffin wants to let the research teams from the pharmaceutical companies figure out how." "If the pharmaceutical company does the research, it'll be a trade secret, and they won't have to share with anyone, and they won't, not till they get all their patents in place, and they'll be able to charge whatever they want." "It won't be a nickel a pill." "It's just not appropriate, Denny." "To privately lust after a woman, fine, to send a signal conveying as much, okay, but growling and clawing at her crosses a line." "But I love this woman." "I thought you loved Bethany." "Well, I love this one now." "I have a fickle heart." "Well, you need to stay away from her." "Why?" "Give me one good reason." "Okay." "Dibs." "But that's not fair." "I growled first." "Hey!" "I have a prior relationship with her." "Prior but not current." "Well..." "Well, what?" "Maybe I'd like to keep current." "You like this woman?" "Well..." "Yes." "So did you tell Denise why wearing the uniform is important to you?" "That's the whole point." "I shouldn't have to." "The fact that I wanted to, that should be enough." "Well, that is not exactly the way marriage works, Brad." "You need to communicate." " I did." "I told her that I want to wear it." "No, you need to tell her why." "You need to communicate your feelings." "Look, Paul, I'm not gonna get all girlie, okay?" "Oh, dear God, Brad." "If you cannot tell Denise what and how you're feeling, you should not be getting married." "The same thing supposedly happened at DePaul university." "The campus survey said the sisters of ΓΚΤ were considered socially awkward." "Apparently "misfit" wasn't the image the sorority wanted to project." "That is exactly what happened with us." "You mentioned you pressured them for a specific reason." "Yes, they said we failed to fulfill our recruitment duties, but nobody in our sorority ever did much in the way of recruiting." "What they meant by recruitment was be pretty and popular, so that other girls would want to join." "Objection." "Speculation." "Foundation." "Argumentative." "Make up your mind, Jerry!" "The objection is overruled." "Thank you, Marcie." "I could be wrong, but when one goes about trying to join a sorority, you basically hope the girls there like you enough to invite you to be a member." "Am I right?" " I suppose." "Did you know what the specific criteria were when you initially interviewed?" "No, I, I figured—" "They either liked you, or they don't." " Right." " And they did." "Now they don't." "They bounced me for being socially off!" " Did anyone say that to you?" " I'm not stupid." "After the campus survey, they wanted to change their image, so—" "What was the image before you initially interviewed, if you know?" " Well—" " That this was a place for the socially off?" "No." "So when you said "change their image,"" "did you really mean to say "conform with their image"?" "I'm confused." " Sit down." "Objection!" "You're objecting to your own question?" "He just told me to sit down in a menacing tone." " I didn't hear anything." " Oh, my." "If you hear voices, they'd never let you into ΓΚΤ." "Sorry." "I have a funny laugh." "They didn't like that either." " Drop the charges?" " Yes." "She had a 20-ounce bag of hallucinogens in her chambers." "It was tea." "Not to mention, there's no real proof it was hers." " I have the confession of the clerk." " That's it?" "The linchpin of your case is the naked, hallucinating dancing man who will say just about anything to temper his embarrassment, let alone criminal charges." "Are you really gonna challenge this?" "Look, you've had many cases before judge Weldon." "She's a fair and talented jurist." "In fact, you've won many cases before judge Weldon, as you've amassed your impressive record, which, as I see it, is about one high-profile conviction away from political advancement." "Not about that." "Well, here's what it could be about, and please stop me if you've already considered this and said, "hell, it's only my career."" "A judge with a criminal conviction, one for using hallucinogens no less, presents all kinds of problems." "One might have to wonder, was she on the whoopee tea while presiding over previous cases?" "Imagine all the felons sitting in jail salivating at the chance to overturn their convictions." "Quite of few of your convictions, maybe." "So much for the impressive record." "But I am a little concerned about your boss." "You do know he and the judge used to be romantically entwined?" "But who really worries about that, given your larger concern of alienating all those other state court judges, who tend to get constipated and vengeful whenever one of their own is targeted?" "What needs to come first here is principle, certainly not political pragmatism." "If that were in play, we never would have gotten this far, would we?" "First of all, I signed a stack of papers." "I didn't read any of them." " Why not?" "Does anybody?" "Doctors say, "sign here or we won't treat you."" "That isn't duress?" "Plus, I had just gotten news I was HIV positive." "I was in total shock." "And if you maintained ownership of your discarded blood and tissue, what would you do with it?" "I would sell it to a pharmaceutical company which would likely increase the chances of discovering a cure." "Private enterprise vs the government?" "It's not even close." "Look how the government has spent our money." "Did you take time out to be grateful for this cure?" "Or did you immediately phone your accountant?" "When was the last time you had a deadly disease?" "I didn't." "And I count my blessings." "Just wonder if you count yours." "If I strike you as having a psychological deficit or two, if I come off as being a little bitter—" "You're bitter?" "You just dodged a death sentence." "Maybe it's me, but I'd think your heart might be instilled by some sense of charity." " Charity?" " Simon." "Let me tell you something." "For 2 years, I was shunned, discriminated against, made to feel like a leper." " Simon." " Do you have any idea how society treats people with HIV?" "It's not charitable, and if you're expecting me to—" "Clarence, how's your trial with Jerry going?" "He's mean." "I'm sorry?" "Jerry Espenson." "He's not a nice person." "Maybe he's just acting how he thinks lawyers should act, but... it's mean." "Oh." "Clevant spoke today... in court." "I didn't mean to really speak as him." "I just... did." "I can be tougher as him." "I have to cross the sorority woman tomorrow." "I think I'll do better as Clevant." "Clarence, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but if you start speaking as Clevant, you could lose credibility with the judge." "That won't serve your client." "I'm not sure "I" can cross this woman." "I think you can." "Clarence..." "I think you can." "Sororities are like any club." "You choose people you want for members." "Some of these people, like Ms Cooper, had been chosen and were then disinvited." "And like any club, sometimes you choose the wrong members." "This goes on in country clubs, bridge clubs." "Look, if they're social in nature, which sororities are, their social skills come into play." "So you're admitting their social awkwardness was the cause for their discharge?" " It was a factor." " Bad for the image." "In so many words." "And before you all wave your arms in dismay, let me tell you, every fraternity, every sorority works exactly the same way." "You populate the franchise with kids who socialize well together." "In success, it becomes a place where incoming freshmen want to join." "They all trade on image." "And your image is beautiful people?" "Attractive is perhaps a nicer image than unattractive." "But mainly, the image is social." "Antisocial people don't best accomplish that." "You didn't get rid of my client for being antisocial." "It's because she was socially awkward." "Look, I didn't make that decision personally, so I can't be sure, but if somebody is standing at a party not talking to anybody, the distinction between socially awkward and antisocial is a tough one to draw." "And looks?" "You like your sorority sisters to be pretty." "That's not necessarily a criterion." "I think if you were to do an analysis, you'd probably discover good-looking people tend to be more socially outgoing." "What about values?" "Of course we want people of good values." "You consider it good values to throw somebody out of your club because she's shy?" "As I said, the main point of the club is social, fun to be around." "If a member suddenly suffered from depression, out she goes?" "That isn't fair." "Well, if she were no longer fun to be around—" "Objection." "He's totally twisting her words, your honor." "Would you ever take somebody with Asperger's?" "Objection!" "If they made funny sounds and walked around with their hands on their thighs?" " Cheap shot, cheap shot!" " I was just asking what—" "You made it personal against me!" "No, no, I was—" "Yes, you did, you, you... you fat boy!" "What did you call me?" "You attack me, I'll attack you right back." "I won't be attacked." "I won't be offended." "I won't be picked on like that." "Do you hear me?" "Now you look here, you—" "I will try my case." "You try yours." "Yeah, well, here's the thing about that, pal." "Once I get done with you, I—" "Don't forget your little hop, bro!" "I'm supposed to meet Alan." "He asked me to take over." "Did he ask you to take my hand?" "Gloria, I know a fantastic little rehab, very romantic." "And if the hallucinogens don't get you in," "I know some wonderful ethnic slurs." "Do you think it's right to be hitting on me?" "It feels right." " And what would Alan think?" " Alan who?" "Greenspan, a man considerably sexier than you." "I knew you were there." "I need to talk to my client, Denny." "Get out." "Your client is my client." "Please get out." "You upset with me?" "Alan, sometimes the mad cow just—" "Out." "The plaintiff wants to make this case about, did Simon Griffin, who has a graduate degree, know what he was signing when he allowed Dr Freemont to use his blood in medical research?" "Let me tell you what this should really be about." "3 numbers. 40, 4 and 3, like a locker combination." "40 million people have AIDS worldwide." "4 million were newly diagnosed last year alone, and 3 million died." "Simon Griffin's blood has the potential to make that locker combination zero, zero and zero." "Now we don't often get the chance to make someone do the right thing." "Most of the time people do the wrong thing, like pharmaceutical companies charging $15,000 a year for AIDS medication it costs them $350 to make." "India brought them to task for that, and now it's sold there at cost." "This is AIDS, your honor." "And the world is standing up and saying," ""you don't get to make your fortune off the impending deaths of 40 million people."" "Taking something from someone else for the greater good, we have a name for that." "It's called eminent domain." "If you have a property, a home that's in the way of a planned freeway, the government can just come right in and take it." "If we can do that to facilitate traffic, then why don't we do it to cure AIDS?" "Why don't we just say," ""too bad, Simon, but the laws that protect everybody else" ""don't protect you because..." ""well, you have something that we really, really want," ""so we're just going to come in and take it."" "Does anyone here remember the flu vaccine crisis a couple of years ago?" "That was the government's baby." "The flu kills 36,000 Americans a year." "And yet, the government left 30 million without vaccinations." "Oops." "So even if you don't like Simon Griffin, you may think—" "He's an ass." "Yes, he is." "And if you were in his position, maybe you would be totally selfless, but Simon Griffin isn't saying no one can test him" "He's just saying he wants to choose who does it." "And he doesn't want to choose the same bunch that was in charge of the flu." "I imagine in a moment of calm reflection or sound judgment, the district attorney simply saw his way to dropping the charges." "Oh, thank God." "Let's leave God out of it." "You can thank me, Gloria." "How about..." "I invite you over for a cup of tea?" "I'm not a great fan of hallucinogens." "That commercial with the frying egg had a profound effect on me." "So, well... what would you like me to do?" "Would you like me to do it right here?" "I would like you to have dinner with me." "And if it goes well, perhaps another one." "And if that one goes well, maybe a third, after which I might kiss you at your front door." "You want to..." "Date." "I'd like to go out with you." "Are you sure you wouldn't rather just rip my clothes off?" "Positive." "Could I at least give you an advance on that third date?" "Well, if you must." "I guess Denny didn't like it." "Mr Bell, we'll hear from you." "College is a place where we teach our children, believing they are our future." "Do we really want a future of social intolerance, where people are ostracized for being shy, where the beautiful and the popular are celebrated, and the less attractive and the awkward are scorned?" "ΓΚΤ is a national club promoting a message that is as intolerant as it should be unacceptable." "I suppose it's one thing if they never wanted to invite Marcie Cooper in." "But having invited her, to throw her out on grounds of social unfitness," "shame on them." "College is also about preparing students for the outside world." "Last time I checked, it's pretty tough out there." "There's the old adage, "nice guys finish last."" "There's some truth to that." "I happen to know opposing counsel is a fundamentally kind man, sensitive." "He chose to exploit my Asperger's syndrome to win this case." "My very best friend, a lawyer that I had a case against not too long ago, he, too, exploited my Asperger's." "He's a very good man who opted for cruelty as a strategy." "If Marcie Cooper comes out of this experience thinking that people can be cruel, even the kind, sensitive ones, if she's learned that she will be judged not simply on merit or the content of her character," "but on how she looks and socializes with others, she's gotten an education, one that will serve her in life." "This is a free society." "People get to choose their friends." "Clubs get to choose their members." "Sometimes it's very ugly and unfair." "That's..." "life!" " Hey." " Hey." "My dad served in Vietnam." "He put his life on the line." "But instead of coming home to a hero's welcome, he found a country that was either ashamed of the war or just wanted to deny it, deny him." "And I fear that our soldiers in Iraq could face the same thing." "And we seem to be in such a hurry for this thing to be over with, so we can go back to pretending... see, in Vietnam, soldiers didn't survive." "But today they do." "And they come home missing legs and arms and eyes... you know, and not much to cling to." "They need us to be proud of them." "You know, they need us to show it." "Every chance we get." "Truth be told," "I couldn't understand what the hell anybody was talking about in this case." "It was clear to me that Mr Griffin, as I said, was an ass." "The idea of one person getting a patent on somebody else's DNA, well, you don't have to be a senile old goat to be befuddled by that." "But the most confusing thing of all is the idea that AIDS maybe can be cured and progress is repeatedly being stalled by a bunch of drug companies and scientists going for patents and fighting over profits." "I don't doubt the sincerity of the doctor." "Legally, I suppose, he does have a patent, but I keep coming back to, this is Simon Griffin's blood, and he's an ass." "I rule in favor of the doctor." "Adjourned." "What the— what just happened?" "He played the ass card." "Has the jury reached a verdict?" "We have, your honor." "In the matter of Marcie Cooper vs ΓΚΤ sorority, we the jury find in favor of the defendant." "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, thank you for your service." "You're dismissed." "I'm sorry." "Well, you tried." "You fought, Marcie." "That's what's important." "You didn't sit back and take it." "Yeah." "I sure could have used that $50 million, though." "So..." "Hands beat Clarence?" "Were they any good?" "They were both excellent." "Tough, shrewd, mercenary, all the ideals we aspire to." "It saddened me beyond belief." "Well, look on the bright side." "Judge Gloria Weldon." "You know, Denny, I didn't appreciate you hitting on her after I specifically told you I was interested in her." "Alan, I wouldn't move in on your girl." "I was just trying to get there first to make her my girl." "Well, she is my girl." "Got it?" "You went after Shirley when I told you not to." "Fine." "I'll stay away from Shirley." "You keep away from Gloria." "You like this woman?" "Do you love her?" "Denny, I haven't even had a date with her." "But you think you could love her." "That's what this is all about." "It's been so long since I let myself love a woman," "I wouldn't even know." "It's... terrifying." "But that's the best part, being on the high wire." "It's good to be in love, Alan." "You aren't just saying that?" "It's everything." "Just don't let her cut into our special time." "I would never." "'Cause that's what they like to do, women, you know?" "First thing, just cut you off from your friends." "Not gonna happen." "You tell her right from the start, I come first." " Done." " If I need a sleepover..." "You get priority." "Promise?" "Promise." "She's a beautiful woman, Alan." "Yes, she is."