" A small town and no one can flee from betrayal." "And evil is looming too, he writes their tale." "From deep within hell a curse rises up," "to strike down the old and never give up." "The elderly dead will smell blood in the air, eating flesh of the young, and the world will despair." " Ed, where's gem?" " Babysittin'." " I know where she is, I was just checkin' to see if you knew." " I know where she is." " I do miss this place." " I don't miss this church, it creeps me out." " I miss my mum's apple pie." " I miss your mum's apple pie." " We used to have some wicked halloweens here, didn't we?" " Before, but nothing ever happens." "We should do something." " Fancy dress?" " Whoa, shocker'd Freddy, i got the claws." " I've got a sheep costume." " I want it." " Do you remember your 18th birthday when I said I was coming as the invisible man?" "And I just didn't show up?" " That was good, that, no one saw you all night." " You need a shave." " So do you." " Oi!" " I love the beard." " Yeah, beards rock." " I'm hurt." " Ah." " Oh, don't please grow a beard." " Oh, I wish I could." " Aw." " Now gas can grow a bloody good beard." " I heard he's bangin' a ripe little thing." " I heard she's really filthy." " I'm his best mate and he hasn't told me." " You know i don't like thunder." " You are just scared of everything'." " Right, I'm off, got work in the mornin'." "Don't forget the parents are back tomorrow, and nan's still ill, so." "Mm, look after her." "Just for one more day, please." "Otherwise I'll be in shit, too." " Shadow on the wall." " Why are you here?" " Come on!" " Okay nan, it's time to wake up." "Lazy cow." "Oh, shit!" "Look I need you to do something for me, it's an emergency." " Oh, it better be a bloody emergency." " Don't hurt me!" " Zombies take over the planet?" " Well, not sure about the whole planet but definitely our town." "Ah, no, no!" "Oh, Jesus, jeez!" "Oh, by god!" " Okay listen up." "If this is for real, there's a few rules." "Firstly, do not leave your house." "In the first few hours of a zombie attack, people will try to escape because most people are dumb." "Roads will become a mess, the town a panic." "Stay in your room, load up on weapons, prepare to kick ass." "But stay put, and stay alert." " Hey, boy." " Listen, nan is from hell." "She's gone fuckin' mad, what do I do?" " Fuck!" "Ed!" "My neighbor's a zombie!" " Quick, go away." "Shit!" " I'm locked in my room, the whole town might be infected." " No shit." " Billy!" " I can't really talk at the mo, my mum, she's really pissed!" " God." "I can see his brains!" " No no, no don't look, don't look." " Look away!" " She's gone." " Okay." "So turn around and stay in your room." " I'm gonna check it out." " Okay what was the point in phoning' me, huh?" "Oh, my god!" "Shit!" "Dai," "I'm back in my room again." " Good." "Idiot." "Now listen to me and stay put." " Dude, I think nan was cooking up pancakes." " Pancakes?" " Well, a fucked up pancake." "She's cooking up my cat, she-- - yes!" "Zombies will have some sort of memories left over." "I think certain things might trigger or stimulate whatever memories it has, and act them out." "But she's not all there, remember." "It's said, the earlier the zombie, the more memories it has left." "But soon they'll all disappear, and all that's left is its instinct to eat the livings' flesh." "Look." "Next thing you should do is phone the police." "The zombie attack might only be on your street if you're lucky, so a bit of help might come in handy." "But don't mention the zombie thing, okay?" " Right, what are you gonna do?" " Me?" "I'm gonna stay put." "Load up on weapons, and prepare to kick ass." " Hello, blackwood police station, how can I help?" " Yes, uh, my name is ed, I live at number nine, high view." "I've got a huge problem." "My nan has gone crazy." "She's very old, and she doesn't know what she's doing, but she has a shotgun and she's shooting up the house." "I need help, the bitch has gone mad." " We take prank calls very seriously." " Prank?" "I am totally fucking serious, my nan has gone completely nuts." "She's been tryin' to kill me all morning!" " Look sir, wasting police time is a criminal offense." " What?" "She's already killed my cat." "I loved little moggy." " Please, sir." " Okay, all right." "I am wasting police time so you'd best send someone around here to punish me." " Okay, just for the record, are you saying that your nan doesn't have a gun and she isn't trying to shoot you?" " No, I have the fucking gun, bitch!" "Now if I were you I'd send someone round, 'cause if you don't I'm gonna have to, have to blow my nan's goddamn head off instead." " Oh, holy shit!" " What?" " I am seeing an old man attacking the milkman!" " What?" " Oh!" "Oh, he's okay!" "The milkman has survived." "Ha!" "Well, not for long." " Why?" " He was injured." "Oh, we are in serious shit." "Oh, my god, ed." "There is a group of old zombies walkin' down my street!" "How many zombies have you seen?" " Two, my nan and zimmer frame lady." "Oh plus Corey said his neighbor was a zombie, too." " Hmm, he was old, right?" " Yeah." " With all the zimmers outside my window," "I've only seen old zombies." " Old zombies?" " Yeah." "Well in theory only the dead are turned, but your nan wasn't dead, right?" " No, but she was pretty ill." " Then my guess is an infection has spread over the town but it's only taken the old." "The weaker will always get infected first I guess." " Well there was something else." "She had white eyes and then and then she had black eyes." "Like she had a demon face." "My nan's a zombie demon!" " Really?" "Then maybe it isn't an infection." "Maybe it's something supernatural and the old can't fight it." "It's just a theory." " You say the old get taken." "I can't help thinkin' one thing." " Ed." "This is Eddie, fuckin' hell?" " Gaz." "I need you to listen up and tell me the truth, okay?" "Are you still sleeping with Billy's nan?" " What?" "Hey, that was a one-off." "I was weak." "She came on to me." "What kind of a friend do you think I am?" " Shit, gaz, you're still shagging her." " Oh, you know me too well." "Yeah, still bangin' the old bird." "I can't stop myself." "I love the elderly, dude." "It's a rush for me." "I'm at hers right now." " Shit." "Right, I need you to listen to me." "You need to get out of there right now." " I can't be stopped, ed." "She's like a dirty little drug." " Gaz, get the fuck out of there, she's a fucking zombie!" " Zombie?" "You cheeky fuck, she's not that old." "Anyway, uh, really have to go, ed, but I'll do you a favor, leave the phone on so you can listen in." "She's a fuckin' screamer." " You dick!" "She's gonna fucking kill you!" " Not so" "what the devil is this with fucking those teeth?" "You fucking bitch!" " Gaz!" "Gaz!" "Gaz?" "You okay?" "Shit." "Fuck." "Fuck." "Billy?" "How's it goin'?" " Ed." "It's the worst day of my fuckin' life." " Can't be that bad, mate." " Well, I think me mum's from hell." "She's got a face like a demon." "It's funny." "My dad always said, "your mum's the fucking devil, son."" "Couldn't get much worse than this." " Yeah." "Shit!" " Look, mate," "I am sorry about shootin' your uncle in the face." " It's all right." " He was comin' right at us." " He was trying to kill us." " He was." " Did you have to shoot my dog, though?" " Well, you can't be too sure." " But you, yeah you can." " He had a look in his eye." " He's always got that look in his eye." "He's got one eye." " Uh, there's one to sign for." "I'll just leave it here, shall I?" " Dai." "Gaz is dead." " No way." " Not only that." "I think the police turned up." "There was a lot of screaming and now there's nothing" "but silence." "I don't get it." "The door was locked." "He must have got attacked from outside." " In that case it's already started." "They've begun to roam the town." " What am I supposed to do?" " Well, there's only two things you can do:" "Secure the house and kill your nan, or stay put and wait for this to all blow over." " I don't think i can kill my nan." "Billy." "There's something I need to tell you, it's been, it's been buggin' me all morning." " Trust me, ed, nothing's gonna bother me right now." " Gaz has been shagging your nan." " You what?" " See where I got your uncle?" "Look, brains left." "Brainy, brainy, brainy." "Brainy." " It's too soon for that." " Brainy." " It's too soon." " Got a prank call, number nine." "Possible crazies with shotguns." " Shotguns?" "Shit." "Only the other night I was watchin' hobo with a shotgun." "Seen it?" " No." "Any good?" " Awesome." "Craziest fucked-up film I've ever seen." "I need help at number nine high view-- - sir?" " And there's-- - you okay?" " A man here without a hand." " You all right, sir?" " Right, I'll go around the back, keep an eye on him." " Sir, can you turn around please?" "Sir, can you tell me what happened?" "Sir, stay right there!" "Don't fuckin' move." "I said stay there, sir!" "Stay there!" "Fuck." "Oh, Christ!" " Up here!" "Up here." "Whoa, don't shoot me!" " Keep still." "Right, what the fuck's going on?" "We've had reports of man here with a shotgun." " Uh, not exactly, but there is a mad old woman in there, trying to kill me." "She's in the house somewhere." " She has a shotgun?" " Uh." "Yeah." "I'd shoot to kill, she's gone insane." " Get back, get back!" "Shit." "Shit!" " Shit!" "Where is she?" "Have you seen her?" " No." "You mind telling me what the hell that is?" " That is my dead cat, moggy." "Sleeping in a pile of shit." " What's really goin' on here?" " The truth is my nan's a zombie." " A zombie?" " Yeah, and she ate my cat." "Shoot the bitch!" "She's gone." " Oh, no!" "Oh, my god." " Why didn't you shoot him?" " Shoot him?" "You mean my fuckin' partner?" " He's a zombie!" " Ah, back the fuck off, zombies." "They're bullshit." "Let me think a second." " While you think about things I'm gonna take a shit." " You take a shit and I'll shoot you." " What?" "Fuck." " Hello, come in." "This is Harvey here, we have a real serious situation, I need back-up." "Hello?" "Officer ts5291." "I need assistance, come in." "What the fuck is going on?" " It's spread." " What, the zombies?" " They've taken over the old, now it looks like the whole village is infected." " Infected, by zombies?" " Yeah." " Well you got a signal on that phone of yours?" " Oh, not yet." "One bar." "Ah, two." "Oh, my god, no!" "Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger!" " Look, hurry." " Get off, me, I'm trying to get in." "Ah, for fuck's sake." " Boom!" " Ah, get him, get him." "We've got a big gun now." "Oh, Christ." " Sorry, I cant hold it in any longer." "Oh, my gosh." "There." "So, what's the plan?" " I'd rather you didn't speak to me when you're, when you're takin' a shit." " We need a plan." " Yeah, well let's not rush into anything'." "We've got to have a real good plan." " We use that gun and shoot our way out." " Look, I don't think running out of here with guns blazin' is a good idea." " We could just wait for help?" " I don't think I can wait." " Yeah, me neither." " Jeez." " Sorry." " Distract my friend 'cause I'm going." " What about the plan?" " Fuck the plan." " I'm sorry." "No, wait wait, what's goin' on, wait." " Fuck, my partner's out there." " But my nan's that way." " Well I don't wanna kill him." " Well I don't wanna kill her." " We're goin' that way." " Did you hear that?" " What?" " Did you hear that?" " What?" " It's jan." " It's jan." " Jan who?" " Jan?" " Help me!" " There it is again." " Shut up, you're makin' me willies." " It's comin' from the livin' room." " Come on." " It's my neighbor doin' that, he may be one." "Wait, man, I don't think this is a good idea." " Help me." " There!" "Shoot her." "Why is she so strong?" "Shoot her!" "Why aren't you shooting her?" "Just shoot her!" " Gem." " Ceri, thank god!" "Did you make it out?" " I made it." " Where are you now?" " Um, not too far away." "I'm at the edge of the woods." " Ceri?" " I think there's someone here." " What?" "Then get out of the woods." "Get out of the woods, run!" "Run!" " I don't think you should be moving the body." " I can't have her lyin' out there." "Any neighbor could pop out his door and see this." " She is your neighbor." "I don't wanna take her, what if a neighbor finds her?" "There!" "Fuckin'..." "I think she's blaming' me." "I, she could've killed me already." "She still remembers me." " Come on." "Let's get outta here." " Fuck!" "Didn't see him." " Conserving bullets." "Good thinking." "Oh, shit." " What?" " I forgot my club." "Where is he?" "Do you think he's toying with us?" " Zombies don't toy with you." "Clever girl." " No!" "Nan!" "Shit!" "Nan!" "Fuck." "Shit." "Dai." "Things have really hit the fan here." " For once you're right." "Don't think it's just the village any more." "More like the county, south wales even." "TV and Internet signal's down, i can't get any outside info." "Luckily the phone signal's still up." "How's your situation goin'?" " Not too good." "I swear, I've seen some weird shit." " Why are you whisperin'?" " I don't know." " I've noticed a few different types." "You've got your slow zombie, normally with white eyes." "Then you've got your fast zombie, normally with black eyes." "The supernatural thing's starting to look like the right theory, though." "I think they're fastest when the demon has hold of them." "Need to start thinkin' about securing' your house and getting ready for the long haul." " What do you mean?" "Killin' my nan?" "Stockin' up with food, and and loading up with weapons?" "Stockin' up with food first, I think." " Okay." "You stock up, kill your nan." "I'm gonna try and get word from the outside." "Oh!" "Hello!" " What?" " Just saw a guy get his arm ripped off." "Oh, call you later." " Shit." "Shit." "Shit!" "Look you, what are you doin'?" " Shit!" " It's said, the earlier the zombie, the more memories it has left." "But soon, they'll all disappear and all that's left is its instinct to eat the livings' flesh." " Ah, stupid." "Shit." "Fuck." "Oh, fuck!" "No, no, oh fuck!" " Ed." " Phil." " It's time." " Dai, it's getting fucking worse." " From what I'm seein' here, you don't wanna leave your room again." " Well it's too bloody late now, I'm on the roof." " The roof?" " Yeah," "I got chased out my own house." " You need to get back in there and secure the house." " What?" " I'm safe, secure, I've got plenty of food." "Well, I say food." "A dozen pot noodles, snacks and tinned stuff." "Should keep me going for a bit though." "And elen's on the way over." "Hey, how's your girlfriend taking all this?" " Oh, shit!" "Hey, sweetie." " Don't you hey sweetie me, you bastard." "Why haven't you called?" " Why didn't you call me?" " Because I'm still mad at you, that's why." "And just because it's the end of the world it doesn't mean I'm gonna forgive you, okay?" " I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner, babes, but my nan's been trying to kill me all day." "Will you wait a sec?" "Where are you?" " I'm in the car." "I'm fine, by the way, thanks for askin'." " Fuck!" "If you're in your car why don't you just drive to mine?" " Well, when when i ran out of the house" "I was chased by my uncle rod, and when I opened the car door, I panicked, and" "I left the keys in the door." " Your uncle's still there?" " Yeah." " Okay wait a sec." " Ed?" "I'm sorry I was so harsh with you." "I wish you was here to protect me and all." " Right." "I'm gonna get down off this roof, kill a few zombies on the way," "I'm gonna come for you, and I'm gonna save the fucking day." " You mean it?" " Yeah, damn right!" " I love you." " Hiya, love!" " Shit!" "Shit." "Fuck it!" " What the fuck?" " Sorry, ed, thought you was one of those things." " Really fuckin' hurt." "Shit." " Fuck you, mum, and you have got a mustache!" " Billy!" "Are you okay?" " No, my mum's a fuckin' bitch and my nan's a whore!" " Oh, shit, Billy, calm down." " And those things have got me out of the house!" " It's all right, it's all right." " What the fuck's that?" " A gun." "I found it round the block, you know." " Let's have a look." " I'm as good as packing'." " What, can I borrow it?" " Oh, no, sorry it's mine." "Why don't you just get back in there, be a man, and just throw her ass out!" "Come on, Billy!" "Go on!" "Oh, Billy?" "Shit." "No fuckin' way." "Ah." "Oh, shit!" "Fuck!" "Okay, come on." "Okay." "Fuck the fuck off." "Fuck." "Come on!" "Oh, son of a bitch." "You want a fight?" "You're gonna get one." "Where are you?" "God, get off." "Oh, god, oh." "Go make pancakes in hell, you bitch!" " Ed?" "Is Gemma here?" "I got her a present." " Shit!" " Watch it." "What the..." " Gotta save the fucking" " oh!" "I'm so sorry, are you all right?" " I think I bruised my ass." " Oh, where?" " Ah!" "Oh shit." "Quick, in the car." " What?" " In the car." " What?" " No no, I'll drive." "Don't do this now, you piece of shit!" "Fuck!" "Shit." "Is that Corey?" " Jesus!" " Come on!" "Oh, my god." " Fuck." " Shit." " You seen that, it was fuckin' inches away." "Fuck it, oh god!" "Ah, fuck it!" " Ed, ed, ed." " Fuck, get in, get in, come on!" " Move, move your finger!" " Help!" " Is there something you should be telling us?" " Yeah, there's zombies everywhere." " Everywhere." " Aw, shit." "My parents." "Hey, don't, don't, dad!" "Get something sharp!" " The boy's jumped on him." "Oh, he's jumpin' all over him." " It's a zombie." "You need to destroy its brain!" "Quick!" " Oh, boys, this is not good, right?" "What do we do out there, eh?" " Quick!" "Quick!" " Over there, over there, over there!" " Oh, my god." " The head, shoot it!" " Oh, okay, I'm firing'!" " Hit her in the head!" "Get it in the head, man!" " I'm tryin', all right." " Bugger!" " Will, I am very stressed out right now!" "Try and move back!" " Ah, quick!" "What the-- what the fuck, man?" " Ed." "Get off of him, man." " Oh god, oh god, no!" "Oh!" "Oh god!" "Get off me, oh fuck, oh." " Ed!" " Look, look it's Billy!" " Oh, fuckin' hell!" " What the fuck, Johnny?" "You sick bitch." " Dave!" " Shoot him, shoot the fucking thing, shoot them!" "Do you have ammo, get the ammo on you!" "Oh, you fucking idiot!" "It's goin' off, Christ almighty." "Run man and get her!" " Oh, god." " Get up, get up, get up." " Billy, you're a fucking fool!" " Get out of the way!" "Stop the bloody car, woman, will you do it?" "Jesus!" " Look, he's all right!" " Bleeding." " No, wait." "I'll do it." " I love you." " Shit." " Hey." " Oh fuck, no." "Careful, jeez." "Right in the eye." " Sorry." " Don't touch him!" " So." "You're sayin' this all started with the olds, yeah?" " That's the theory." " But doesn't your brother work in an old people's home?" " Yeah." "Oh, shit!"