"Based on D.H. Lawrence's John Thomas and Lady Jane" "Still, those Germans had admirable machines." "They invented some extraordinary things." "They still lost the war!" "Do you know why they did?" "They were too methodical." "They fired their cannon every 10 minutes, like clockwork." "It's absurd, of course." "We soon knew when we had to run or get down." "Thanks be to God I didn't fight in that war." "I never could've stood it." "Of course you would have." "You won't be killed unless you think you will." "I never thought I would be." "And I never met anyone who was killed who wasn't already convinced he would be." "The body works in mysterious ways, with some very strange effects in wartime." "One day, one of my sergeants screamed out." "Both his feet had been blown clean off at the ankle." "I gave him some morphine to reduce the pain." "When I went back two hours later, he was dead." "It happens." "There's nothing you can do." "No vital organ is hit." "Yet one's life is destroyed." "Nothing anyone can do." "Funny!" "Until 1916, the German cannons outdid ours." "Ours were so old, we never knew where they'd reach." "One awful day, our cannons killed our own men in the front line." "We received the order to charge." "As I ran, I felt a spray of hot water on my neck." "It was Wallace." "Such a decent chap." "He was from Argentina." "He called to me as I ran." "I was about to answer him when I saw him overtake me with no head." "Like a headless chicken!" "He went a long way too." "I was covered in his blood." "When I was picked up shortly after in Flanders," "I realised I'd never thought I could be killed." "Not even the day I saw poor Wallace die." "You're not eating?" "We should have invited fewer people." "All that conversation exhausted you." "Clifford, you're tired out." "Should I call the doctor?" "What's the point?" "I'll let you rest then." "That day, the valet was ill." "Clifford had an order for the gamekeeper." "Oh, good evening." "Sir Clifford has a message." "For tomorrow night's meal, Sunday," "Sir Clifford would like two pheasants." "But you don't have to see to it now." "Tomorrow will be fine with the cook." "Very well, my lady." "I'll see to it." "That's all." "Thank you." "Good evening." "Good evening, my lady." "Does my lady need anything?" " No, thank you, Kate." "Good night." " Good night, my lady." " Have you finished, my lady?" " Yes, thank you." "Should I help you into bed?" "No, thanks, I'll call Marshall." "I'll stay and read for a while." " Good night, then." " Good night, Connie." "Connie!" "What's wrong?" "I don't know." "What do you mean?" "Seen a doctor?" "No." "I don't think it's serious." "I just feel a bit listless." "Can you get up?" "Right." "I see nothing organically wrong." "But you're abnormally weak, my lady." "I'll prescribe a pick-me-up, but only you can make yourself better." "Get a change of air." "Take your mind off things." "If you don't, I won't answer for the consequences." "Consequences?" "It runs in the family." "Your mother's cancer was so abrupt." "That kind of illness always starts with reduced vitality." "What about Mrs Bolton?" "The nurse from Tevershall?" "Do you know her?" "Vaguely." "She'd be just right to look after you." "Maybe you should ask her opinion?" "Well, we have." "She's delighted by the idea and can start on Monday." "What if I don't want her here?" "That's entirely up to you." "Then the matter's settled." "Absolutely." "I'll take Constance back to London tomorrow." "Be reasonable, Clifford." "You should have had a nurse long ago." "The following Monday, Mrs Bolton moved into Wragby." "Sir Clifford prefers to shave himself." "Unless he's too tired." " Marshall will help you put him in the bath." " Very well, my lady." "I believe your bath is ready." "Thank you." "Right" "I'll leave you to it." " See you later." " Yes, see you later." "I didn't know you were here!" " Sir Clifford is in bed." " Good, thank you." "Why don't you go for a walk?" "The daffodils are out by the gamekeeper's house." "You could pick some for your room." "Daffodils?" "Already?" "I wondered where the noise came from." "I had better rest for a minute before I go on." " Do you want to sit in the hut?" " Yes, please." "Thank you." " Should I shut the door?" " Oh, no, thank you." "It's very pretty here." "It's so calm." "I'd like to come and rest here from time to time." "Do you lock the door when you go?" "Is there a spare key?" "No, mine's the only one." "Couldn't you find me another one?" " Another key for the hut?" " Don't you understand me?" "I understand you quite well, my lady." "Sir Clifford might have a spare key." "Do you think so?" "It's possible." "Right." "Very well." "I shall ask him." "And if he hasn't you can get a copy of yours made." "It shouldn't take more than a day or two." "Perhaps." "I don't even know who cuts keys." "In that case, I'll see to it." "If my lady tells me the day she goes, I'll give her my key." "I'll let you know." " Good evening, Parkin." " Good evening, my lady." "I came to see if you were back." "Sir Clifford wants his tea." "Am I late?" "I didn't notice the time." "I'm sorry, Clifford." "I didn't realise it was so late." "Where were you all this time?" "I went for a walk in the forest." "The flowers are in bloom." "Look." "Aren't they marvellous?" "I stopped for a while at Parkin's hut." "You know, where he breeds pheasants." "Do you know if there's a spare key?" "You can pour the water now." "Mrs Bolton's warmed the pot." " A spare key to what?" " The hut." "It's so peaceful there." "If I had a key, I could go there from time to time." "Parkin said that you might have a spare key." "I'll have a look, but I doubt it." "I don't think Parkin wants me to have one." "Yes, that wouldn't surprise me." " Why's that?" " He must think it's his territory." "It's just a place he goes to work." "To you it is." "He must see it as his den or his lair." "So, you think I shouldn't go there?" "That's not the question." "If you want to go there, you can." "The hut belongs to you, like everything else." "But Parkin might be offended." "I don't want him to be!" "You're asking for too much." "Especially with such an uncouth fellow." "Two weeks later" "June 21." "June 21?" "Do you want me to shave you?" "Do you know how to?" "Oh, yes, I've often done it." "Go on, then." "I didn't know my lady played the piano." "We'd all forgotten." "What's going on?" "Winter tells me the miners are on strike." "The board is waiting." "Is it reasonable?" "What about your nap?" "I feel fine." " Should I go with you?" " Of course not." "How pretty!" "Is it a bird house?" " A kind of shelter." " It's pretty." "Have the birds built their nests?" " Yes, there's some blue tits." " Where?" "In that copse." "I'd so like to be a bird." " I've got that spare key for you." " Really?" "I'll fetch it." "Thank you very much." "Are you sure I won't disturb you?" "You won't disturb me, my lady." "That's perfect, then." "Well, good evening." "Good evening." "From then on, Constance went to the hut almost every day." "Good afternoon." " Do you want some?" " Oh, yes!" "Thank you." "The next few days, she couldn't go." "Clifford's aunt had turned up unexpectedly." "Have the eggs hatched?" "Almost all of the first clutch." "Oh, they're looking at me." "She won't let me." "Isn't it charming?" "It's so charming." "Lively, isn't it?" "That's the liveliest one." "Is something wrong?" "Oh, no." "It's so trusting." "Don't cry for that, my lady." "Put it back." "Do you want to?" "Let's go in the hut." "I suppose it was bound to happen." "Yes, I think so too." "I must hurry." "Don't come with me." "I'll be back soon." "Say something." "What should I say to you?" "You don't regret it, do you?" "Me?" "No." " Do you?" " Me?" "I'm happy." "That night, Constance was the perfect wife." "The housewife every man dreams of." "Modest yet attentive, with her big, clear eyes and calm gentleness which so well hid her intelligence." "You're here late." " Did you want to come in?" " Just to lock up." "Are you angry about yesterday?" "Not at all." " And you?" " Me?" "Not at all." "You didn't feel as if you, so to speak, lowered yourself?" "By doing it with a man like me." "Lowered myself?" "Why?" "Do you think I lowered myself?" "With one of your husband's servants." "You're not a servant, you're the gamekeeper!" "But maybe you feel as if you've lost something?" "Don't think that, my lady." "It's not easy to call you my lady and then to..." "I don't want you to call me that." "I really don't." "And if you like me..." "Do you like me?" "Yes." "Yes." "These things happen." "Come on, then." "What's the point of talking?" "I can't stay long." "You came so late." "You're not cold?" "You should come to my place." "It'd be more comfortable." "Do you mind if I accompany you?" "Let me go." "I'm not stopping you." "I'll come tomorrow if I can." "Good night." "The next few days, Constance stayed away from the hut." "Hello, Gold." "How good to see you, my lady." "I was worried about you." "How are you?" "Oh, I'm fine now." "Just fine." " Would you like a cup of tea?" " I'd love one." "I'm not disturbing you?" " You don't miss your job too much?" " Oh, no!" "Time flies when you have a child." "I always dreamt of having children and looking after them." "It's heaven." "Luke will be home soon." "First the miners, then the engineers." "Are you going along the road?" "No, I'll go through the warren." "What are you doing here?" " Were you going to the hut?" " No, I was going home." "I went to Marehay and I'm on my way home." "I must be going." "No one knows where I am." "I won't bother you any longer." "Come on." "Come on." "We both came together this time." "We did?" "How do I look?" "My dress isn't too creased?" "There." "How can I ever thank you?" "What for?" "Well, for this." "No reason to thank me." "But I just wanted to thank you." "Well, goodbye." "Goodbye." "Sorry, I lost track of time." "I walked over to Marehay." "I saw Mrs Flint and her baby." "Then, I had tea with her." "Such a sweet baby!" "His hair is so soft, it looks like feathers." "Did you wonder where I was?" "We did, indeed." "We nearly called the police!" "I saw you go towards the gate." "I thought you'd gone to have tea at the rectory." "I thought of it, but in the end I went to Marehay." "You should have a hot bath." "You'll catch your death of cold." ""Were you looking for me, Andromache?" "Could I hope for that?" ""I am here for my son." ""Since once a day, you let me see all that remains of Hector and Troy." ""I was on my way," ""to kiss him and grieve with him." ""The Greeks, to judge by their alarms, will soon give you more cause to cry." ""What is this fear in their hearts?" ""Has some Trojan escaped you?"" " Good night." " Good night, Connie." "Tell me, Connie, have you heard the rumour that you're seeking an heir for Wragby?" " Is there such a rumour?" " Yes." "As absurd as it may seem." "Who told you?" "Winter." "He asked ever so innocently," ""Is there any truth to the rumour?"" "And what did you say?" "Won't you turn round?" "It's annoying!" "What could I say?" ""There's no truth to it, to my knowledge."" "And that there couldn't be any?" "No, I didn't go that far." "I wasn't too sure, to be honest." "What did you tell him?" "Well, it may sound a bit puerile, but I was caught off guard." "I said that we hadn't given up hope." "What if I did have a baby?" " Whose baby?" " Whose baby!" "A baby, that's all." "My baby." "Come now!" "I may be mundane, but nature's laws require you to have a partner for conception to occur." "Oh, that's not a problem!" "You say so yourself, "One body is as good as the next," isn't it?" "Good." "One point to you." "Where's your father taking you in June?" "Near Menton." "The Villa Natividad." "The Villa Natividad?" "It's too good to be true!" "You're going?" "That's what's planned." "You don't want me to say no?" "Oh, no." "Hello." "I told Clifford I might have a baby." "You said that?" "Well, it's possible, you know." "Would Sir Clifford accept it as his own?" "Yes, I think so." "But, you didn't mention me?" "No." "I'm going away soon with my father and sister." "I could always say I'd met someone there." " You're going away?" "For how long?" " Five to six weeks." " When do you go?" " In three weeks' time." "Around mid-June." "I see." "That's not far off." "Leave it." "I'll do it." "Sir Clifford will think some society type got you pregnant, won't he?" "What'd he say if he knew it was me?" "He'd be furious." "But you won't tell him, will you?" "You needn't worry about that." "Is that why you wanted me?" "To have a baby?" "I don't know." "I wanted..." "I don't know what I wanted." "I just wanted..." "I wanted you." "I want you." "And a baby, too, perhaps." "You didn't consider me?" " I liked your body." " My body?" " Do you still like it?" " Yes." "I can't imagine that you like to touch me like I do." "I do." "I love touching you." "I don't think so." "It's just that I'm a little scared." "Do you like it when I touch you?" "Yes, very much." "Well, what's stopping you then?" "Now you can touch me, if you like." " You're beautiful." " Can we lie down?" "If he has the baby, we'll have had this." "See you soon then?" "Go on, you run along now." " Oh, Lady Chatterley, what a pleasure to see you!" " Good morning, Mrs Bentley." "Sir Clifford isn't with you?" "I'm afraid not." "He rarely comes now." "Excuse me, I live just opposite the company." "Sir Clifford passes by my window every time he goes to work." "Is Sir Clifford as well as they say?" "He's in fine form, thank you." "I felt it as soon as you came in." "You look absolutely radiant." "Sir Clifford will be here in five minutes." "Hello." " Can I come in?" " Come on in." "I'm not disturbing you?" "No, I just got back from Uthwaite about some poachers." "Please carry on eating." "Do you want a cup of tea?" "The kettle's boiling." "Maybe I can do it." "If you like." "The pot's there." "And the tea's on the shelf." "Is that you?" "In that photo." "Is that you at your wedding?" "Just after." "Were you in love with her when the photo was taken?" "I suppose so, in a way." "I was smitten." "Do you still love her?" "Me?" "No, I don't love her anymore." "But it wasn't love anyway." "It wasn't love between us." "But..." "Really?" "I'd rather change the subject." "When did you lose your husband?" "Seventeen years ago." "Really." "He was 28." "And I was 24." " Was it in the mine?" " Yes, an explosion." "Mining wasn't for him." "His father was a miner, so he was too." "But he wasn't cut out to go down the mine." " You often think of him?" " Oh, yes." "I can't help it." "It was so sudden." "And we were so happy together." "A few days later, Clifford wished to go out with Constance." "Look at me on my foaming steed!" " Coughing, more like." " Yes, that's it." "Spluttering, even!" "I thought we could do some work on the house next year." "The mine's doing well." "What if there are more strikes?" "Why on earth should they go on strike again?" "They'd ruin the industry, or what's left of it." "Maybe they don't care about ruining it." "It's what fills their bellies, if not their pockets, as Mrs Bolton would say." "No, I'm not too worried about strikes." "Simply because they'll soon be virtually impossible." "What do you mean?" "Are you going to ban strikes?" "The miners will never let you!" "We won't tell them." "It's for their own good." "The slightest spanner in the works and they'd starve." "They would, not me." "I have other resources." "Are you so sure that there is nothing good in socialism?" "Heavens, no!" "Nothing is more dangerous than an ideal based on lies." "The masses only want one thing, masters." " Meaning you." " Meaning me." "You, us." " Well, I'm sorry, but I find that rather facile." " What?" "That some are made to command, others to obey." "That's the way it's always been." "May I remind you on which side you were born?" " I don't play boss." " Of course you do." "You are one." "All your servants know it full well." "Being pleasant to them doesn't change your role." "You're their boss, like it or not." "Even with Mrs Bolton." "I'm sure I don't boss her." "No, you ask her to do things." "And she does." "It's exactly the same." "What if I tried to go to the spring?" "I haven't seen it in ages." "Yes, why not?" " Will you come to my place tonight?" " Tonight?" "Yes, this evening." "For the night." "All right." " I must go." " I'll wait at the gate." "Around 10:00." "This chair is admirable." " It's icy cold." " Shouldn't one make a wish?" " One should." " And did you?" "Yes, but one mustn't tell." " You should hoot for Parkin." " Let her catch her breath." "Is there a stone to put under the wheel?" " I'll help." " No, don't push!" "What's the point of the engine?" "Put the stone back." " You should call..." " Leave me alone!" "Can't you stay still for five minutes?" "I thought you were having trouble." " Won't it move?" " It would seem not." " Is there any petrol?" " Of course!" "A full tank." "What's wrong?" "Can you see?" "No." "The connections look fine." "Give her a try." "That's better." "I'll just push." "Wait!" "Let the engine try." "She's got to do it." "Clifford, this chair can't move on her own!" "Why bother insisting?" " She won't do it." " She's done it before." "Careful!" "There!" "What did I tell you?" " You're pushing?" " Yes." "Let go of her!" " She won't make it on her own." " Let go!" "It's what she was made for." "She has to do it." "Clifford, the brake!" "The brake!" "The brake, Clifford!" "I'm clearly at everyone's mercy." "I think this chair needs pushing." "Would you be so kind as to push me home, Parkin?" "I hope I didn't offend you at all." "No, no offence, sir." "Would you like me to push the chair?" "Please do." " Is that really necessary?" " You should have let us push before." "Parkin, it only remains for me to thank you." "I need another engine for this chair." "Go and have a beer in the kitchen, won't you?" "No, thank you, sir." "I'll be getting back." "I'll lunch in my room if you don't mind." "As you wish, my dear." "Cards." " Three." " Two." " You're here." " Yes." " You're on time." " Yes, it was very easy." "Do you hear those noises?" "It's the trees." "It sounds like they call each other, each in their own language." "And what are they?" "Pine trees." "You leave the light on?" "At night, I do." "Then people can't tell if I'm in or not." " What people?" " I don't know." "Anybody." " Do you want something to eat?" " No, thank you." " But you eat if you're hungry." " I'm all right." "I'll just make some tea." " Do you want one?" " Yes, please." "Will you love me?" " Yes, I'll love you." " You must love me." "You should take that off." "Take yours off then." "Turn round." "Turn round before you put the candle out." "You're already awake?" "You'd better go." "Is it sunny?" "It will be." "How curious." "It's tiny now." "Like a bud." "When did you say Hilda was coming for you?" "On Thursday." "Oh, yes, that's right, Thursday." "When will you be back?" "A month later." "Five weeks at the most." "If you ever do come back." " Why wouldn't I come back?" " Who knows?" "The hand of God, an earthquake," "or a heart-quake." "Talking of which, is your sister looking for a new husband too?" "I mean, as well as yours." "Not that I know of." "The plan only concerns you?" "Would you like to know my conditions?" " Your conditions?" " As the legal father." "Or had that detail slipped your mind?" "Go ahead." "The child will be English on both sides." "On the father's side, of at least decent stock." "I shall bear it in mind." "Right." " I thought you'd got lost." " Lost?" "No." "But I was getting ready to leave." " When do you go?" " Tomorrow." " Tomorrow?" " Yes." "My sister's picking me up." "We leave after lunch." " Where are you going?" " To London, then Paris." "And near the Italian border, near Menton." " Not where the war was?" " No." "Much further south." "By the seaside." "It's only for a month." "Won't you be glad to see me again?" "You know, it'll do me good to go away." "I haven't been away in so long." "Yes, it'll do you good." " What are you doing?" " I want to run in the rain." "Don't you think you're wet enough?" "No, not at all." "I have to take all this off." "Wait." "It's pretty." "You need a flower too." "Wait there." "It's too long." "There." "That's good." "You need a crown too." "It would be so good if we were alone in this forest." "Come here." "Wouldn't you like to go to Canada with me?" "The world's the same everywhere." "It'll be the same in Canada." "But nobody will know who we are." "Not at first." "But they will." "Then, it'll be just the same." "Wouldn't you like me to buy a little farm?" "You could look after it." "I have enough of my own money." "Then, you'd be your own boss." "How much have you got?" "I don't know exactly." "4 to 5 hundred pounds a year." "4 to 5 hundred a year!" "Every year?" "It's my mother's inheritance." "Well, I never..." "I thought I was comfortably off with L100 saved up." "Wouldn't you like to have a farm?" "My sister could help me find one." "She's very practically minded." "I don't think I'd want a woman to set me up." "I'm not just any woman." "And anyway, it wouldn't be just setting you up." "You could start the farm, then I could come and live with you." "If we decide to get divorced and live together." "You'd never want to live with me on a farm." " You'd never want to be Mrs Oliver Parkin." " I would!" "Why wouldn't I?" "And you'd be independent, you wouldn't owe anyone anything." "I think what you prefer is being alone as much as possible." "You like seeing me from time to time, but I don't think you want me here all the time." "That's why I think you should have a farm where I could come from time to time, without worrying about marriage." "You're right." "Once you marry a woman, it's a mess." "She starts bossing you about." "Well, usually, the man does the bossing." "Forget it." "God, how I love you!" "The next day, Constance was delighted to be leaving." "I'll be right back." " Goodbye, Clifford." " Bon voyage, Connie." "Go on, drive off." " Stop!" " What?" "Stop, I beg you!" "Stop!" "You're here." "Don't cry." "It'll be all right." "It'll be just fine." "Fly away now." "What is going on?" "Well, what a good start!" "The two women met their father in London where they spent a few days before going to Southampton." "The three of them formed a clan, protecting each other." "And Constance realised to her surprise the power of these family ties although she had so often denied it." "On the ferry, she confided in Hilda who disapproved of the misalliance, but couldn't help being in sympathy with the passion itself." "In Paris, the trio became a quartet." "Duncan Forbes, a Scottish painter, the sisters' childhood friend, joined them." "They set off together across France from north to south, stopping wherever their fancy took them." "Finally, they came to their destination." "Two weeks after they left, they reached the Villa Natividad on the Riviera." "Constance was only happy with Hilda and Duncan." "For the first few days, she had loved it." "But she now felt a sort of creeping malaise which she was unable to control." "She received regular news from Clifford." "He was glad she was enjoying the Riviera and told her with his typical wit of his recent readings and a few anecdotes about Wragby life." "His best stories came straight from Mrs Bolton who had told him that very morning about the gamekeeper's misadventures." "The day before, Bertha, Parkin's lawful wife, had moved back in, with all her worldly goods." "The man she used to live with, a miner, had apparently thrown her out." "I have just received your letter." "I am replying in a quiet moment." "You will be surprised and happy by the state of Sir Clifford's health." "He has recovered so well that all he thinks of is seeing you again." "As for Parkin, the situation changes every day." "The day after Bertha turned up, she went to the JP to get Parkin to live a decent life with her at last." "But Parkin flatly refused." "So, the JP told him to apply for a divorce." "Parkin said he would as soon as possible." "Parkin's been at his mother's for a week now." "He now says he has to leave and Sir Clifford will have to find a new gamekeeper." "I was about to close, but there's more news, so I'll write in haste." "As Parkin went past the inn, Bertha's brother was there with his mates." "They'd all been drinking." "Dan Coutts stopped him, then threw himself on him." "They went out the back to fight." "They say it was a terrible sight." "All those brutes standing around, watching." "Parkin was knocked to the ground and hit his head on the rails in the courtyard." "The doctor said he had slight concussion, but he didn't stop retching for hours." "We were so worried." "I went to see him at his mother's." "He's a bit better." "I told him you were coming back soon, and he just turned and looked at me." "Then, he fell asleep." "My dear Connie!" "How are you?" "Me?" "Just fine." "But what about you?" "It's a miracle to see you standing." " Can you walk?" " I wouldn't call it walking." "But I can go forward in my own way." " Field!" "Were you in on the plot?" " Surprised, my lady?" "You can say that again!" "And a little scared too." "It's not dangerous?" "No, you needn't worry." "Shall we go?" "Or would you rather I fetch the chair?" "Let's go." "At last, my lady, you're here!" "Welcome home!" "What a joy to see you again." "Let me kiss you." " All right, Clifford?" " The steps are the hardest part." "It's really wonderful." "Come on, Marshall, let's go." "You must be exhausted." "How was the journey?" "It went perfectly." "Thank you for your letter." "What would I do without you?" "So, what happened in the end?" " Is Parkin here?" " He moved out yesterday." "The new gamekeeper is moving in." "The new gamekeeper?" " Mrs Bolton?" " Excuse me." "Coming." "I wanted to tell you," "I think I'm going to have a baby." " Have you told Sir Clifford?" " Not yet." "When you do, will he accept it?" "Yes." " You shouldn't hate him for that." " I don't hate him." "Yes, you do." "You hate everyone at the moment." "Yes, you're right." "I feel like I've swallowed poison." "It's horrible." "Is it the idea of going to Sheffield?" "Yeah, I hate the idea of that too." "You'd rather have stayed here?" "No use discussing it." "I've always known it wouldn't last." "It's over." "No, listen to me." "Don't go to Sheffield." "It's not in your nature." "You'll be unhappy there." "Why can't we look for a place of our own?" "That's all over and done with." "And it's not right for a man to live off a woman." "I'm so worried you'll be unhappy there." "We'll see." "But promise me..." "Look at me." "Promise me, if you're really unhappy you'll let me find you something else." "Do you promise?" "The thing is, I can't be like other folk." "I'm so unhappy when I can't be alone." "But why should you be like other folk?" "It's better you're not." "No, it's not." "You have to be like other folk." "When I was a kid, my mother kept calling me a girl." "She said there was something in my character that was more like a woman than a man." "Well, maybe she was right." "Why do you say that as if it were a weakness?" "It's not." "You're more sensitive than idiots like Dan Coutts." "You should be proud of being sensitive." "You can call it being sensitive or whatever." "I see it as a handicap." "The idea of going to that factory is like death!" "Other folk manage it without making a fuss." "That's why I wanted to go to Canada." "But you don't want to go, so..." "No, please don't go to Canada." "I've been there and to America." "I couldn't be happy there." "And I don't think you'd like it either." "It'd kill something in you." "You have a gift." "You don't realise it, but I know." "You have the gift of life." "Now I'm afraid you'll spoil it when I need it so much." "Please trust me." "I know one thing for sure, you only get one life." "Exactly." "That's just it." "I can give you the money tomorrow and you can buy a place." "A little farm you could work on." "No!" "You don't understand." "I love you." "If you only knew how much!" "But I mustn't feel small." "I feel like there's no place for me, like I'm worth nothing to no one, except to you." "When you went away, I tried not to think about you too much, because it was no use." "What was the point?" "But when I still thought about you," "I said to myself, you're like my home." "And yet, real houses don't mean much to me." "It's because until I met you, everything was like a prison to me." "I felt locked up, belittled." "You opened up the world to me." "And when I think of that... how you opened up to me... how you gave me freedom..." "I think I'm stupid to be afraid." "And if you want me to work on a farm next year, then, I accept." "I'm sorry." "It's because I'm so happy we're together again." "I had better go now without saying goodbye or anything." "But I just wanted to say that while we're apart, I mean, while we're not together," "I don't mind if you see other women." "I won't need to." "You never know." "But don't tell me." "It'll be your secret." "But keep your heart gentle." "Because if you do I'll never lose you." "I've been without women before." "I can wait, you know." "Really?" "You'll wait for me?" "If I need you one day, if I can't stand my life, if I decide to leave Clifford you'll come for me?" "If you think you need me, I'll come." "If you think you have no other choice, I'll do what's best for us." "I'll get a job on a farm and..." "You'll come for me if I can't bear it anymore?" "Yes."