"#If you hear #" "# A song in blue #" "# Like a flower crying #" "# For the dew #" "# That was my heart #" "# Serenading you #" "# My prelude to #" "# A kiss #" "I love... the little sign when you buy your ticket to the rollercoaster" ""Ride at your own risk."" "As if the management is not at all concerned with your safety, the entire contraption is about to collapse, and to top it off, there are supernatural powers out there... just waiting to pull you off the tracks... and out into your worst, cruelest nightmare" "the wild blue." "They want you to believe that anything can happen." "And they're right." "Open that window." "# Spendin' cash talkin' trash #" "# Good-bye, I showed you a real good time #" "# Come along with me and leave your troubles behind #" " Hey, Terry." "I'm splitting." " Hey, Pete." "Did you meet" "Rita." "No." "Hi." " Hi." " Peter, Rita." "Rita, Peter." " Actually, I'm gonna go" " What' s everybody drinking?" " Rit?" " Oh." " Can I fill you up there?" " I'll have another Dewar's, thanks." " Pete?" " Uh, no, thank you." "I'm " "Oh, don't worry." "I'll get it." "You two just relax." "So, one, uh, Dewar's, and one, uh, beer." "#I love myself I want you to love me #" "# When I feel down #" "# I want you above me #" "# I search myself #" "# I want you to find me #" "# I forget myself #" "# I want you to remind me #" "# I don't want anybody else #" "How do you know the Sokols?" "I don't." "Except from the hall." " Oh, you're a neighbor?" " I couldn't sleep." "Oh, really?" "Why?" "How long have you lived here?" "I haven't slept since I was 14." "Two years." "Did you say you hadn't slept since you were 14?" "Pretty much." "You look great, considering." "Thank you." " Rita what?" " Uh, Boyle." "Peter Hoskins." " Hoskins?" " As in "Hoskin's disease. "" "Oh, Hodgkin." "No, no." "It was just a nonhumorous flail." " What?" " # I don't want #" "# Anybody else #" " # When I think about you I touch myself #" " I like your shirt." "# I don't want anybody else #" " Dewar's, madam." " Thank you." " No beer." "Sorry." " Wine's fine, thanks." "Rita has insomnia." "Oh, yeah?" "Listen, I gotta pee." "I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "Forgive me." "So, what do you do when you're not not sleeping?" "Oh, I usually write in my journal." "You mean, for a living?" "I'm a bartender." " Oh, really, where?" " Yeah." "At the Tin Market." "You work Saturdays?" "Well, you must make good money." " What are your aspirations in that case?" " I'm, like, a graphic designer." "Oh, great." "So, why can't you sleep?" "You know what's good?" "I forget what it's called." "It's an herb." " I tried it." " Didn't work?" "I can't remember what it's called either." "My memory's terrible." "Maybe that's why you can't sleep- you forget how tired you are." "Well, if you need any help getting to sleep, I " "Sorry." "Nice talking to you." "You too." "I stood outside for awhile... just listening to the silence." "Then I tried to figure out which window was hers, and what her life might be like, and why she couldn't sleep." "Like that." "The spell was cast." "# There's always something in the road #" "# Always something in the road #" "# Keeping me from the one thing #" "# That I want #" "# The one thing I will never have #" "Hi." "Oh, hi." "Is this all right?" "No, I'm sorry." "You can never come in here." "What's new?" "Since yesterday?" "Let's see." "So much has happened." "You look great." "What will you drink?" "Do you have Molson?" " Did you get some sleep?" " Eventually." " You?" " Sleep?" "Oh." "I don't have any trouble." "But let's see." "I read The White Hotel today." "Oh." "That was pretty much it." "How was it?" " Did you read it?" " No." "But I read some of the case histories that it was based on." "You have?" "Freud." "You've read Freud?" " Have you?" " No." "But this book starts... with this very highfalutin', sexual dream thing, you know?" "Yeah, I hear everybody beats off when they read it." "I'm sorry." "You heard that?" " Go on." " This lovely, very neurotic woman... goes into therapy with Freud him self." " Right." " And he sort of cures her, so that she can go on to live for awhile... before being killed by the Nazis... in a..." "lime pit." "Uh, happy, happy stuff." "So, why were you in Europe for ten years?" "How did you know I was in Europe?" "Word gets a rou nd." "You asked Taylor about me?" "You were asking around about me?" "Let's get ma rried." "Okay." "Okay." " This is the story, and I'm not making it up." " Okay." " And it's not as sad as it sounds." " Shoot." "My parents separated when I was four." "I went to live with my grand parents- who are unfortunately deceased now" " I'm gonna make this as brief as possible." " Take your time." " And" " We can go up to my place when you're done." "And everything worked out great for everybody." "It was amazing." "No." "Go on." "I'm four years old." "I go to live with my grand parents, who both wound up having to go into nursing homes when I was 12." "They were both sick." "So I go to live with my mother, who by this time is remarried to Hank," " Uh-huh." " A very unhappy person." "Ridicules me in front of the other two children they have created... from their unsavory loins." "So I go to live with my father, who has also remarried with three other children." "Sophie, the new wife, hates me even more than Hank." "This is like Dickens." "The only nice thing Sophie ever did for me was make the same food twice... when I made the mistake of saying thatlliked it." "Usually she would stop cooking whatever it was I saidlliked." "What was it?" "Whatlliked?" "Spaetzles." "Oh, God." "You've had spaetzles?" "Oh, sure." "You like them?" "I love them." "You love spaetzles." " Anyway, everyone is unhappy now." " Uh-huh." "My father doesn't seem too fond of me." "I'm not sure if he ever was, but" "So one night I say I'm going to the movies, and instead, I go to Europe." "What movie?" "The Wild Bunch, I think." "Why?" "Did you call them?" " Not until I got there." "And I called collect." " Europe?" " That is" " Yeah." " Good for you." " Yeah." "Why did you ask me which movie?" "That is fabulous." " That's the story." " Oh, wow." "Then I came back when my dad died." "Somebody call about the ice machine?" " Tom." " Hmm?" " This is Peter." " Hi." "How do you do?" "But I was only in the party... for two months." " I've never known a communist." " Socialist." "Socialist." "It was a strange time." "So what was Amsterdam like?" "Do you speak Dutch?" "Ja." "Say something in Dutch." "Je hebt erg witte tanden." "What's that?" "You have very white teeth." "Oh, thank you." "Now you say," ""Om je beter mee op teeten. "" "Wait." "Okay." "What is it?" "Om je beter mee op teeten." ""Om me. "" " Beter." " Beter." " Mee op teeten." " Mee op teeten." "Om je beter mee op teeten." "Great." "You 've got a good ear." " Oh, good ear, clean teeth." " You do." "What did I say?" " I can't tell you." " I knew you were gonna say that." " I knew it." " No." "It's untranslatable." "I'm sure it is." "I'll tell you someday." "I will." "I promise." "When you're first getting to know someone... and in that blissful, psychotic first flush of love, it seems like every aspect of their personality- their whole demeanor, the simple lovely twist of their ear lobes," "and their marvelous phone voice, and their soft, dark, wet... whatever... is somehow imbued with an extra push of color- an intensity heretofore, you know, unknown." "You want a Molson?" " You drink Molson?" " Uh -huh." "In your own home?" "I've been known to." "So why can't you sleep?" "I want to solve this." "I wasn't exaggerating." "It's been since I was 14." "Aha." "That's a lot of journal - keeping." "# Every time #" "# We say good-bye #" "# I die a little #" "Have you seen doctors?" "I've seen all the doctors." "Uh-huh." " Every known persuasion." " Right." " And I've in gested countless pills and liquids." " Thank you." "I've seen an acupuncturist." "You did?" "What did it feel like?" "Little needles in your back." " It hurt?" " Sometimes." "You're really beautiful." "You are." "Thank you." "That's, uh" "Thank you." "What do you do for a living?" "# There's no love song finer #" "# But how strange the change #" "# From major to minor #" "I make little tiny transparent photographs of scientific articles... which are rolled onto strips like microfilm, only smaller." "You'd..." "like it." "It's really interesting." "Do you see your family?" "Your mom?" "No." "Sometimes?" "Never?" "Nope." "Call them?" "Uh-uh." "Do you miss them?" " Hey." " Hey." "What's your dirtiest fantasy?" "Excuse me?" "You know, I thought you just said, " What is my dirtiest fantasy"." "What?" "I can't." "I'm sorry." "Come on." "No." "What's yours, though?" "I'd be curious." "I asked you first." "Well, they change." "Sure." "What's one?" "Well- One..." "Uh-huh." "might be that someone..." "Uh-huh." "might sort of, just, you know, spontaneously start crawling across the floor... on their... hands and knees," "and more or less... unzip me... with their... teeth." "I'd do that." "Christ." "Happiness." " Are you?" " Uh-huh." "You are?" "It's like a drug." " It is a drug." " Sex?" "To snare us into mating." "I must be peaking then." " You know, the body manufactures it." " Uh-huh." "Like epinephrine, or something." "Did I detect a note of cynicism in your comment about mating?" "Oh." "No." "You don't like kids?" "No." "I love them." "But you don't want to have them?" "No, I don't." "But" " Why not?" " I just don't." "Your career?" "What career?" "No." "I think kids are great." "I just don't think it's fair to raise them in the world the way it is now." "Where else are you going to raise them?" "We're here." "Say." "Like the woman in The White Hotel, people really do struggle their wholelives just to die in lime pits." "And not just in books." "Women... go blind... from watching their children being murdered." "Not in this country, they don't." "They get shot on the sidewalk in front of their houses in some drug war." "Just what happened to you- being passed from one parent to the next" "I survived." "I'll be lying in bed late at night and I'll look at the light in the room." "And I'll suddenly see it all go upinablinding flash- in flames- and I'm the only one left alive." "And I can't look at you sitting there... without imagining you... dying" "bursting into flames." "No wonder you can't sleep." "The world is a really terrible place." "It's too... precarious." "And you want kids, obviously." "I wish I could say I did." "It's okay." "We saw each other every day for the next six weeks." "I'd stop by my apartment every once in a while... to see if the view out into the air shaft had improved any." "But... all my clothes had found their way over to Rita's." "I told my parents about you." "What did you tell them?" "I said that you were very considerate." "In what way?" "I said, well" "I mean, we talk very frankly about sex." "You and your parents?" "I said that you always brought protection." "You did not." "And that you were very attentive to whether or not I had an orgasm." "This is such bullshit." "No, I said they should meet you." "What do you think?" "Protection." "So are you free this weekend?" "Don't be nervous." "You told them about my family and everything?" "My mother." " She knows the story?" " Mm-hmm." "They know all about me?" "Uh-huh." "Will you marry me?" "Uh-huh." "You will?" "No." "Peter." "Hop to." "Oh." "Mom." "Nice to meet you." "Dad." "Dr. Boyle." "These are my parents." "So." "I understand you're a manager in a publishing firm." "That's correct." "Yes." "That must be, uh" " What kind of firm is it?" " Publishing." "What?" "Don't belittle me in front of new people." "Be little?" "Dad, please." "What kind of publishing firm is it, I was asking." "It's, uh, scientific publishing." "They publish scientific, uh, publishing things." "Journals." "I knew I knew that." "You want a beer?" "Sure." "In the morning, Rita?" "Yes, Mother." "We've been drinking nonstop for weeks." "It's time you knew this about us." " I'll have one too then." " Me too." "A bunch of lushes here, Rita." "You didn't tell me." "Oh, I can pull four wisdom teeth on a fifth of Stoli." " You can?" " He's teasing you." "Scien- What kind of scientific?" "Abstracting and indexing." "It's a service." " Like a database?" " It is a database." " It is a database." "Covering?" " All kinds of fields." " All kinds?" " Pretty much." "You know, everything from energy to robotics- thank you- to medical articles." " So you are the manager?" " Of the fiche department." " Microfiche?" " Right." " Now, what is it?" " Microfiche." "It's like microfilm, only smaller." "Aha." "Little film." " All right, we approve." " Daddy." "We're just playing with you." "Maybe now she'll get some sleep." "So, how long have you two been going out?" "Over a year now." "About that, year." "That's my first bull dog." "Okay." "No!" "No!" "No!" "Daddy, no!" "Please." "If he's gonna be in this family, you ought to see these guys." "You really should." "This monster I got when I was an undergraduate at Virginia." "See his little tail?" "I stood in front of the mirror in their upstairs guest room..." "looking out over the yard and the little tent and the food which had been catered." "I felt a certain kinship with these people- the caterers." "Don't look." "It's badluck." "All right, I won't." "But wait, you don't believe in that, do you?" " You looked." " I won't look." "Now you've already cursed the first 14 years of our marriage." "I love you." "What about when I'm a hundred years old with a mustache and yellow teeth?" "I'll still love you." "And I'm sagging down to here and I'm bald?" "I'll love you all the more." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I promise." "Oh, can't we ask one of the boys in the neighborhood to do that?" "I am one of the boys in the neighborhood." "What do you mean?" "Let me get rid of these." "Okay." "Are you gonna join the living?" "Hmm?" " Well, hello." " Too late." "Sorry, all done." "You should have spoken sooner." "You going for a walk?" "See you all in a bit." "Now, there's nothing to worry about." "This is a natural step in life's plan." "Ah." "Like sliding down a banister... that turns into a razor blade." "Where to?" "Round trip." "To Lake Forest." "Lake Forest." "They've asked that we all sit down." "Is there a nother language you all speak?" "Come on." "Let's go." "Okay." "Let's try to stick together." " Is Grand ma gonna meet us?" " Yeah, she should be in the car." "I, Peter take thee, Rita... to be my wedded wife." "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part." "And thereto I pledge thee my troth." "I, Rita take thee, Peter... to be my wedded husband." "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer," "In sickness and in health." "in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish... till death us do part." "And thereto I pledge thee my troth." "I pronounce... by the authority committed unto me as a minister of God... that you are husband and wife... according to the law of this state, and in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost." "I think a little applause would be in order." "Smush together." "Come on." "Marshal." " Marshal!" " What?" "Get in the picture." "Jesus Christ." "I thought you were on fire." "Get in." "Say " bull shit. "" "Bull shit." "Now, you." "I'm so happy." " So happy." " Well." "Peter, you remember my Aunt Dorothy... and Uncle Fred." " Yes." "Hi, how are you?" " Peter and Rita." " That's very euphonious." " Isn't it?" " You must get a lot of " Peter and Riter."" " Yes." "Or "Pita and Rita, " I suppose." " It's hard to say, I know." " Excuse me." "You know, I was the world's youngest aunt." "Uh-oh, here we go." "No, now." "I remember Rita trying to say my name..." " when I was 16 and she was just" " Minus 20." "All right, I deserve that." "Fred says I always shave... two years off my age." "I've never known anybody who has a niece so young." " I was 15." " What?" "Who was 15?" "Stop." "You're gonna give me a complex." "Mom." "Who's that guy over there in the strawhat?" "Oh, uh" " N o." "I thought he was with your firm." "Marsh." "Hey." "Marsh." "Behind me." "Don't look now." "Very peculiar." "Never saw him before in my life." "Congratulations, both of you." " Thank you very much." " Thank you." " I'm Taylor McGowan." " You make a lovely couple." "And your name?" "I'm sorry." "And what a wonderful day for it." "Nice to meet you." "You'll have to forgive us." "But none of us seems to remember who you are." " It' s all right, Daddy." " I only wanted to wish the two you g people well." "And perhaps to... kiss the bride..." " before I'm on my way." " I'd be flattered." "Some angle this guy's got." "My blessings to you." "And to you." " You want to sit down?" " Get him a chair, Fred." "Too much blood rushing to the wrong place, I guess." "Are you dizzy?" "I t's okay." "Just relax." "Here we go." "Now, just breathe for me." "Daddy?" "Oh, God." "He thinks Marshal is his father." "Where do you live?" "Can you tell us?" "He's gonna be fine, everybody." "Just relax." "Get him a glass of water, Fred." "He's had too much to drink, I suspect." "Am I right?" "Peter." "What's happening?" "I thought you said you didn't know him." " Should we call an ambulance?" " No, no." "Just get him a cup of coffee." "Is there anyone we can call?" "No." "I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused you." " There's no troubl e." " Honey, don't let him " "I'm fine, thanks." "Honey." "Who is he?" "Where did he come from?" "He's from the neighborhood." " The Evans' gardener?" " Is he?" "No." " What if he falls down in the gravel?" " Are you okay?" "Oh, what a fuss." "Forget all about it." "He's not going to sue us." "Trust me." "Oh, poor baby." "It's just spoiled your whole wedding." "Oh, Marion." "Have some champagne." "Your father thinks that's the Evans' gardener." " Enough." " Well, I don't think so." "Do you?" "Rita?" "Rita?" "Must have been my kiss is all I can think." "Drives men wild." "That's right." "Where are you going for your honeymoon?" "Why, you wanna come?" " Jamaica." " Oh." "I love you all." "Bye!" "I just keep thinking about that poor old schmuck." "He seemed so vulnerable." "Calling me honey, and" "I swear I've never seen him before." "You are too much." " What's come overyou?" " You like?" "I" " Yes." "I think you're out of your mind andl love you." "Come on." "Day's a-wastin'." "Chop, chop." "# Again #" "# This couldn't happen again #" "Don't you even want to try one?" "No, thanks." "Sorry you married me?" "Rita, you were supposed to laugh." "Aw." "You're my puppy puppy." "Thank you." "Okay." "You know how you never get any time... to work on your portfolio?" "Well, now that we have just the one rent, what if just for a while- not forever- you quit tending bar and let me support us?" "Sure." "What?" "You'd consider it?" "Let you bring home the bacon for a while, right?" "Our first full day being married... and she seemed like a different Rita." "I told myself, "It's the excitement. "" "And besides, it's natural to wonder, "Is this the right person for me?" ""Am I the right person for her?" "Who the hell is she anyway? "" "Baby, I'm sorry." "I'm freaking out." "Are you sorry you married me?" "No." "Oh." "I'm serious this time." "Don't be a silly." "The days went by." "We went to a soccer game, we windsurfed- or "windfell "- we snorkeled, we walked on the beach, and always under a ton of sunscreen." "Rita was tireless, fearless, and sleeping." "Nothing was wrong, exactly, but nothing felt- nothing felt." "# Down at the bay where the lights are gay #" "# And the sun shines daily #" "# On the mountaintop #" "Excuse me." "# I'm sad to say I'm on my way #" "# I won't be back for many a day #" "They're a riot." "He calls her " Little Missie."" "Their grand son is a comedy weatherman in Boca." "Something from the bar?" "Yes." "Another seltzer, please." "And clean this up, would you?" "It's drawing flies." "I'll have a Long Island iced tea this time." "Thanks." "A lot." "Doesn't it ever bother you sometimes, though, the black-white thing?" "I mean, it's so obviously a class issue here." "You'd think they'd all just rise up and kill us all pool side." "Why is that?" "Because we have the money and they don't." "You want to give them your money, go ahead." "Oh." "Good attitude." "Look, I'm just making conversation here, Rita, you're the commie in the wood pile, not me." "I'm sorry, sir." "The bartender say he don't know that." "Oh." "What goes into one, a Long Island iced tea?" "Rita." "I'm sorry, darling." "I've forgotten." "What, do you have it all written down behind the bar or something?" "I'm on vacation." "So you can't remember a drink recipe for something that I would like to order?" "Peter, you're doing it again." "You take a perfect situation and you pee all over it." "Be happy." "It's great to be alive!" "And young!" "There will never be a more perfect night." "Or a better chance for two people to love each other... if they don't try so hard." "Make love to me." "What, here?" "No one will see." "I want to have your baby." "I want your baby inside m e." "You don't want babies." "Don't you remember?" "Sweetie." "No." "You never say that." "Or " puppy puppy" or " chop chop."" "You don't drink now." "Rita used to drink like a fish." "You're not using salt." " Peter." " You're a communist or a socialist- whatever you are- you don't defend the social order in Jamaica, or anywhere." "You need to take a hot bath... and breathe life in." "The world is a glorious place to live." "Rita is afraid of life." "I'm gonna insist that you see someone... when we get back to Chicago." "Je hebt erg witte tanden." " Thanks." " What did I say?" "You said my teeth are white." "You know what you said." "Yes!" "My baby." "Thank you." " What do you say?" " What do you mean?" "What's your line?" "What do you say?" " You memorized it." " I'm sorry, Peter." "N o." "In Dutch." "Rita, what do you say?" "I say, " good night."" "No, please." "You're lying." "Hey!" "Watch it, pal." "I want you, Rita." "I want you to be you." "I'm sorry I can't be whatever it is you want me to be." "This is all I am." "Maybe what you saw wasn't here at all." "They're waiting for a decision." "Rochelle has another question about storage." "So, Tay, if you could, like, switch souls with somebody- you know, go inside their body and they go inside yours" "You know, switch." "Mm-hmm." "Do you think it would be possible if you didn't know someone, to impersonate them by just being inside them... a d..." "looking like them?" " Where are they?" " Inside you." " And you're in them?" " Right." "Why would you want to go inside another person's body if you didn't know them?" "That's conjecture." "I think I know that, Peter." "But wouldn't you do better to pick somebody that you knew?" "So then you could do, or be, or have... the things that they did, or " beed " or had?" "Right." "Are you Rita now?" "Is that what you're telling me?" "That you two have..." "merged?" "All right." "Have you ever" "This is sort of a bizarre question." " But have you ever been having sex with somebody..." " No." "and they're doing everything right  more or less" " Oh, yeah." "Sex." "I remember." "and you just get the feeling that something is wrong?" "I mean, they pretty much stop doing... some of the things they used to do... and only do certain things now- more traditional sorts of things?" "Blow jobs, you mean?" "No." "I'm not talking about anything specific." "No one likes to do that." "Wel, that happens not to be strictly the case, but" "No, no." "I'm just telling you." "No woman ever enjoyed doing that." "It's common knowledge." "You haven't had sex, but you know all a bout it?" "I'm just trying to help." "Thank you." "That night, everything was miraculously restored." "Hi." "How was work?" " Okay." " It was?" "I'm making you a surprise." "What?" "Guess." "I can't." "Spaetzles?" "# Every time we say good-bye #" "I'm sure they won't be as good as Sophie's, but" "What's this?" "Dewar's." "You want a Molson?" "Sure." "# When you leave there's such #" "# An air of spring #" "So I started reading that, finally." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Oh, I know things were difficultin Jamaica." "Maybe it's taken me this time to get used to being married." "But..." "I love you, Peter." "# Every time #" "# We say #" "# Good-bye #" "You read her journal, didn't you?" "You figured out how to fix your hair... from the pictures in the albums." "What she drinks." "Where is she?" "Please." "Don't be angry." "You can go back wherever you came from, and I won't tell a soul." "You don't even have to tell me who you are." "Just tell me where Ritais, and we'll pretend this never took place." "Okay." " Play it your way." "But I'm onto you." "Hey, Pete." "You're back." "How was your honeymoon?" "Great, thanks." " How's Rit?" " Great." "Where is she?" "Not feeling too well, actually." "Let me have a double vodka on the rocks." "Got your postcard." "Yeah?" "Here you go." "It's on the house." "Don't mention it." "Dewar's please." "# I been carryin' my heavy load #" "# Waiting for the light to come shining through #" "# Someone like you #" "# Make it all worthwhile #" "Is he a regular?" "He..." "looks familiar." "You know him?" "# I been doin' some soul searching #" "Have we" "Have we met?" "Mind if I sit?" "You were at my wedding, weren't you?" "Do I know you?" "What's my stepmother's name?" "Uh " "What's the movie I said I was going to see the night I left for Europe?" "The Wild Bunch." "Je hebt erg witte tanden." "Not anymore." "What's your father's tattoo say, right here?" "" Bruno, " his first bull dog." "I knew it wasn't you!" "I knew it!" "Oh, I knew i t!" "Oh, my God!" "Rita!" "Maybe we shouldn't, uh" "How" " How much do I owe you here, Tom?" "No, it's on the house." " Oh!" "Okay." " Okay." "Great." "Great." "Uh" "Okay?" "I" " I'm just gonna walk the old guy down to the train." " Uh, o-okay." " Yeah." " Good to see you, Tom." " Uh, you too." " Tell Rita I hope she feels better." " I will." "Uh, I will." "Uh, come on." "Let's get out of here." "I missed ya." " Where did you go?" " Berwyn." "I stayed with his family." "Julius Becker." "He had his wallet on him." "I didn't know what else to do, where to go." "I couldn't tell my mom or go to the cops." "Who would believe me, right?" "They could've thrown me into an institution or an old folk's home." "I didn't even have our keys." "I had to pretend to be him until you figured it out." "And I knew you would." "I think this is like one of those dreams... where you keep telling yourself, "Just hang on..." "" and we're all gonna wake up." "We'll walking and she'll be there and it's gonna be okay, Rita."" "I just keep thinking there's something I'm forgetting." "When he leaned in to kiss me, something" "I" " I gotta slow down." "I'm sorry." " That's okay." " I get short of breath." " Better?" " What was I saying?" "You get short of breath." "No, before that." "I'm not senile." "I know." "I know." "Yeah, I thought maybe it was salmonella from those horrible chicken wings, and I was i magining it all." "So how was our honeymoon?" "Oh, come on." "Does he know you know?" " He?" " She, whatever." "Yes." "He does." "I think maybe you should wait out in the hallway... in case he tries to... bolt." "Thanks." "What's the matter?" "Where's Rita?" "I'm sorry about this, Peter." " Did something happen?" " You knowllike you." "What do you m an, you're sorry?" "Ri a's gone back to Lake Forest with her mother, Peter." "Why?" "I don't think it's a good idea for you to come to the house or call... for awhile, until she calms down." "I went for a walk." "" Calms down "?" "We brought both cars so I could pick up some of her things, and I'll be out of your way momentarily." "Wait a minute!" "Marshal!" "I'm sorry for whatever personal turmoil you're going through, son." "Turmoil?" "What did she tell you?" "If you want me to refer you to someone" " Rita says... that you're suffering from delusions, Peter." "And I should tell you that she's talking about... filing for a divorce." " Or an annulment." "Whichever." " Oh, now" " Okay." "What sort of delusions did she say I was suffering from?" "She says... that you're convinced she's someone else." "Uh-huh." "Sure." "I'm sorry." "I'm gonna have to defer to her wishes." "I can't believe this!" "You're just gonna take her word?" "It's difficult for me to believe, knowing Rita the way that I do," " that this is about as quabble or a tiff of some kind." " You don't know her!" "You don't know the first thing about her." "That's the absurd part." "You don't even know your own flesh and blood." "I'm sure you're right, Peter." "Rita was a communist." "Did you know that?" "Thats he was in a communist or socialist party?" "Then all right." "Here's something else you didn't know." "We didn't go out for a yea r." "We didn't go out for anything like a year." "You only see what you wanna see." " She's lying to you now, Dr. Boyle." " Let go, please." "She may know certain facts, but that's from reading Rita's journals." "Watch her." "Watch the way she sits." " Her eyes." " See a doctor, boy." "Watch the way she listens to everything we say." "It isn't her!" "The way she chews, for Christ sake." "I'd like to leave now." " Open your eyes!" "Look, I'm not equipped for this." "I'm sorry." "I'm not attracted to you." "What are you, nuts?" "I don't think that's the issue here." "Have a seat." "Come on." " You' re just" " If I thought that you really were here, Rita, I " "What's the name- okay- of the guy you went out within high school?" "Wait." "The one who wanted to run away with you." "If I can't remember his name, then you can't remember it either." " John." " Oh, Rita." "You're not imagining me." "This just does not happen." "Tell me about it." "All right." "Think." "Let me see his wallet, please." "May I?" "Thank you." " Becker." "Is he Dutch, do you know?" " Is it a Dutch name?" "You were the one that said you lived there, Rita." "Jesus!" "Well, they don't speak Dutch." "I can't exactly ask." "I'm trying to keep alow profile in case they find out I'm really a girl." "Okay?" "Who is it?" " Hi, Ms. Blier." " Don't worry." "What?" "What's wrong?" "My name is Barry Sanford." "Your dad apparently walked up to a couple of young gentlemen..." " I got lost." " downtown... and asked them what city he was in, and they were kind enough to call us at the hot line." "I'm home now, so" "I work with the Madison Street Crisis Intervention Center." "We just wanted to make sure that he got home safe." "Oh, uh, come in, please." "I'm Leah." "This is my husband, Jerry." " Hi, Larry Sanford." " What can we get you?" "Come on in." "Something to- You're sure?" "Yes, thank you." "You told me you were going for a walk." "Did you take the train again?" "I got lost, I told you." "Your dad's gonna be fine, Mrs. Blier." " Why did you take the train?" " Please." "Daddy." "Did you want to go somewhere?" "I'm going to lie down." "Don't wake me up." "You want me to go with you?" "You wanna lie down, I'll stay here." "This is how he gets." "Two weeks ago, we had to go pick him up in Lake Forest." "Why?" "Did he know someone there?" "N, not that we're aware of." "He doesn't always get this way." " Lately." " He just takes off." "Is your father involved in any... activities that might bring him into the city?" "He isn't involved in anything." "We keep telling him to take an interestin life." "Is your father suffering from any... mental or neurological disorders?" "He hasn't been him self since my mother died last fall." "He had to move in with us, and" "This has been coming on for a while." "What has?" "I'm not saying he can't stay here." "He struggled for so many years just to make ends meet." "Then when he was ready to retire, boom." "We'd just gotten my mother buried." "We found out he has lung cancer a few weeks ago." "He always complains, so I didn't" "I guess I didn't take it serious, and cirrhosis he's had for years." "I can't put him away." "He doesn't even have a year to live." "You know?" "If you knew the man he used to be" "He was a-a self-starter, area I fighter." " I'm sorry, Mrs. Blier." "I " " Oh" "I think I left the gas on in the kitchen... in the center." "Well, should I call someone?" "No, no." "I'm so embarrassed." "The fire department?" " I apologize." " I'll drive you." " No." " Yes." "Uh, no." "I have a car." "It's just up the street." "I'll be fine, thanks." "I'll call." "So what did she say?" "Nothing." " Am I sick?" " No." "This is me, Peter." "Remember?" "You have lung cancer and cirrhosis." "She said she thought you had a year to live." "Wow." "The next six days were the worst, the strangest, of my life." "We moved back and forth from room to room." "We called her parents." "No answer." "The next day, the same." "And the next." "I called Rita's Aunt Dorothy in Cincinnati." "She had no idea where they were, and wanted to know why I didn't know." "I told her Rita and I had split up." "Trust me." "The car's gone." "Mom never turns the lights out, ever." " They're not here." "Then why are we whispering?" "Some suitcases are gone." "I miss your face." "How soft it was." "I miss it too." "Your hair was so great." "Oh, come on." "And your little white feet." "What?" "You don't like these?" "At night I could feel the loneliness... coming off both of us like heat." "It was as if we'd been married forever, suddenly, without the sex." "Rita and I, mean while, kept up the pleasantries." "The old married couple we'd become." "Time's up." "Rita." "What?" "You know, if you think how we're born," "and we go through all the struggle of growing up... and learning the multiplication tables... and the nam e for everything." "The rules." "How not to get runover, braid your hair, pig Latin." "Just all the effort." "Then getting a job, probably something you don't even like doing... for not enough money, like tending bar." "And that's if you're lucky." "That's if you're... not born in Calcutta... or the U.S. without money." "Then there's your marriage, having your own kids if" "You know." "And they're going through the same struggle all over again." "Only worse, because... somebody's trying to sell them crack in the first grade by now." "And all this time, you're paying taxes, your hair starts to fall out, and you're wearing six pairs of glasses... which you can never find." "And you can't recognize yourself in the mirror." "And if you live long enough, you finally get to watch everybody die." "All your loved ones- your wife, your husband." "Your kids, maybe." "And you're totally alone." "And as a final reward for all this, you disappear." "No one knows where." "I don't want you to die, Rita." "I don't want me to die either." "And I'm going to." "So are you." "But... we got to have this." "I mean, what a trip... meeting you... and being in love," "falling." "It was bitchin' for a while." "And okay." "So this isn't such a turn-on, I admit, but" "I adore you." " What?" "My hearing." "No, I'm serious." "I said you would've hated Jamaica." "Trust me." "Come on." "Call again." "I mean, he's always saying, " Oh, you know" "Wow, you have got to come to this club, the Aquamarine. "" " Have you been there?" " No?" "Oh, you're kidding." "It 's actually pretty cool." "They've got all these different bars and huge fish tanks." " It's really pretty amazing- you know, for about a minute." " Hello?" " Oh, Marion, it's Peter." " I thought it might be you." " Where have you been?" "I've been worried." "How's Rita?" "She's terrible, Peter." "We took her to London." "She was so shook up, Marsha I thought she needed a rest." "What happened between the two of you, Peter?" "If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to." "I guess I must've said something about her... not being the same person." "But I would do anything... to get Rita back." "I love her with all my heart and soul." "You can't come here, Peter." "If either of them knew I was talking to you, they'd have me shot at sunrise." "What if- It's just a thought- but what if you said I was going away on business for a couple of weeks?" "Oh, I don't know, Peter." "And you said that she could stop by... and pick up her things from storage in the basement." "All her old letters and diaries from her childhood." "And when you came by with her, I'd be here, and we could talk." "When would you want us?" " Anytime." " I'm not promising anything." " I understand." " Monday?" "Monday's great!" " I'll try." "That's all I can do." " I understand." "Thank you." "What time?" " Anytim e." " Noon, say?" " Noon's great." " High noon." "High noon." " Peter." " Yes?" "What you said before... about Rita not being the same person" "Uh-huh." "She may not be the picture of the woman you thought she was, but that's an image, Peter." "Just a picture." "Words." "That's life." "That's marriage." "But I know she loves you... and misses you." "I miss her too." "All right." "I'll see you Monday then." " Thank you, Mom." " Allri ght." " Bye." " Bye, now." "She'll try." "He keeps it clean." "Now, I want you to talk, Rita." "I want you both to talk." "That's all." "You can do that much, since you took the trouble to marry him." "This was my idea, by the way." "How have you been?" " I wanted to come." " Really?" "I wouldn't have thought that." "But you're here, so" "Can I get you something?" "It's been real lonely without you, Rita." "You, uh, went to London, your mom says." "H w was it?" "Okay, tie his feet!" "Rita, come on!" "Give me" " Gi " "Goddamn it!" "Okay." "Give me the knife." "Rita!" "Kiss him." "Go on!" "Rita?" "No, it didn't work." " Is it you?" " I don't know how it happened." " I don't know what I did." " I'll kill you!" "I swear to God I will!" " Peter" " How the hell did you do this?" " Put the knife down, please." " It's a trick, Rita." " Don't you know that much?" " He doesn't know." "Give it to me." " Are you here, Rita?" " Yes." "I'm right here." " Talk to me if you're here." "Please!" " Give me the knife." " I can't." " Put it down." "All right?" "Just" " Thank you." " Where did you go?" "I couldn't imagine what happened to you." "Watch him." "4320 Southeast Avenue." " How is Leah?" " I think she misses ya." "She keeps making soup and offering me another cup..." " and another cup" " Your mother?" "She isn't serious about the peanut butter and mayonnaise." "Oh, she made you one?" "A sandwich?" " Stop this." " I haven't had one of those since grade school!" "I'd almost forgotten." "Did you try one?" " Rita!" " Oh, they're really good!" "I've been over and over it... so many times, you know?" "Exactly- Have you tried?" "I wanted it." "That's all I know." "I got on a train going nowhere, as far as I knew." "There you were- a wedding." "Young people starting a life." "I wis hed to God I was that brideg room starting out, or the bride, for that matter." "Look at the shine in those eyes." "Oh, you're ki dding." "I was totally freaked from the moment I woke up." "I was terrified." "I thought, if I could shine... like the light of that girl over there," "I'd never take another drink." "I'd let my liver hang on another decade." "Stay out of the sun." "Eat right." "This tim e I would floss." "I remember now." "Oh, God." "I wanted to be you." "For one second of one day, what it would be like to just be." " Yes." " And not be afraid." " If I could just get inside," " If I could get inside," " I'll kss the bride." " my whole life would be behind me." "My whole life would be a head of me again." " Look at her- the soft arms, the white teeth." " That smell." " That sweet smell on her breath." " A man." "Not like something rotting coming up from your insides, but soft." " Like a father." " Like a baby." "And white." "An old man..." "with nothing" " Nothing to lose." " Nothing to lose." "All you got to do is want it... bad enough." "My God." "Rita?" "Like an old suit." "My wife and daughter had a bond." "I loved them both so much I wanted to eat them alive." "Women make a life... inside their body." "And that life comes out and holds onto them." "Clings to them." "Calls them up from school and says," "" I'm sick, Ma." "Come pick me up."" "That baby is theirs for life." "Don't you see?" "To be able to look back... from their side of the bed, with their eyes, at last." "And you, my boy" "I tried to be patient." "I tried to be interested." "I called every hotel in Ocho Rios." "What the hell is a Long Island iced tea?" "You're a sweet kid." "No hard feelings, but... you're not my type." " Please." " I don't know." "The idea of livin' forever" "It's not so good." "And those parents of yours you can keep." "Thank you." "Do yourselves a favor." "Floss." "Oh, my God!" "My body!" "My body!" "There they are." "Look at those." "Yes." "Your hair." "I'm here!" "I'm not afraid." "I know." "I'm not afraid!" "Oh,I love you!" "Give me a smile." "Je hebt erg witte tanden." "Je hebt erg witte tanden." "Oh!" "I don't remember what I was supposed to say, Peter." " I know I memorized it." " Om je beter mee op te eten." "You promised you'd tell me." "What does it mean?" "The better to eat you with." "Never, never to be squandered- the miracle of a nother human being." " You're the miracle." " No, you are." "You." "# If you hear #" "# A song in blue #" "# Like a flower crying #" "# For the dew #" "# That was my heart #" "# Serenading you #" "# My prelude to #" "# A kiss #" "# If you hear #" "# A song that grows #" "# From a tender #" "# Sentimental rose #" "# That was my heart #" "# Trying to compose #" "# A prelude to #" "# A kiss #" "# Though it's just a simple melody #" "# With nothing fancy #" "# Nothing much #" "# You could #" "# Turn it to a symphony #" "# A Schubert tune #" "# With a Gershwin touch #" "# Oh, how my love song #" "# Gently cries #" "# For the tenderness #" "# Within your eyes #" "# My love is a prelude #" "# That never dies #" "# A prelude to #" "# A kiss #" "# How my love song #" "# Gently cries #" "# For the tenderness #" "# Within your eyes #" "# My love is a prelude #" "# That never dies #" "# A prelude to #" "# A kiss #"