"Come now, Father, you should know better." "You're not welcome here, and especially not today." "I've got no time to start old arguments." " We want only one thing." " And what would that be?" " This house." " You want the house?" "We will take the house." "Would you like my wife while you're at it?" "If you won't stand aside, then we'll take it by force." "And by what power?" "The hand of God?" "No, the fist of man." "In the name of Heaven." "My Lady?" "What's in there?" "What is it?" "What's under the canvas?" "Father, answer me." "What's in there?" "May God forgive me." " What do you think of this?" "Will it do?" " The late 1970s?" "You'd be better off in a bin bag." "Hold on, listen to this." "Lan Dury and The Blockheads." "Number one in 1979." "You're a punk!" "# It's good to be a lunatic #" "That's what you are, a big old punk with a bit of rockabilly thrown in." " Do you want to go and see him?" " How do you mean, in concert?" "What else is the Tardis for?" "I can take you to the Battle of Trafalgar, the First Antigravity Olympics, Caesar crossing the Rubicon or lan Dury at the Top Rank, Sheffield, England, Earth, 21 st November 1979, what do you think?" " Sheffield it is!" " Hold on tight." "Landing!" "1979!" "Hell of a year!" "China invades Vietnam." "The Muppet Movie, love that film." "Margaret Thatcher." "Skylab falls to Earth with a little help from me." "Nearly took off my thumb, and I like my thumb." "I need my thumb." "I'm very attached to... my thumb." "1879." "Same difference." "You will explain your presence, and the nakedness of this girl." " Are we in Scotland?" " How can you be ignorant of that?" "I'm dazed and confused." "I've been chasing this wee naked child over hill and over dale." "Isn't that right, you timorous beastie?" " Och, aye." " I've been "oot" and "aboot."" " No, don't do that." " Hoots, mon?" "No, really don't." "Really." "Will you identify yourself, sir?" "I'm Doctor James McCrimmon from the township of Balamory." "I have my credentials, if I may?" "As you can see, a doctorate from the University of Edinburgh." "I trained under Doctor Bell himself." "Let them approach." " I don't think that's wise, ma'am." " Let them approach." "You will approach the carriage, and show all due deference." "Rose, might I introduce Her Majesty Queen Victoria," "Empress of India and Defender of the Faith." "Rose Tyler, ma'am." "And my apologies for being so naked." "I've had five daughters." "It's nothing to me." "But you, Doctor, show me these credentials." "Why didn't you say so immediately?" "It states clearly here that you have been appointed by the Lord Provost as my protector." "Does it?" "Yes, it does." "Good." "Good." "Erm, then let me ask, why is Your Majesty travelling by road when there's a train all the way to Aberdeen?" " A tree on the line." " An accident?" "I am the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland." " Everything around me tends to be planned." " An assassination attempt?" "What, seriously?" "There's people out to kill you?" "I'm quite used to staring down the barrel of a gun." "Sir Robert MacLeish lives but 10 miles hence." "We've sent word ahead." "He'll shelter us for tonight, then we can reach Balmoral tomorrow." "This Doctor and his timorous beastie will come with us." "Yes, ma'am." "We'd better get moving." "It's almost nightfall." "Indeed, and there are stories of wolves in these parts." "Fanciful tales, intended to scare the children, but good for the blood, I think." "Drive on." "It's funny, though, 'cause you say assassination, and you just think of Kennedy and stuff, not her." "1879?" "She's had, oh, six attempts on her life." "And I'll tell you something else." " We just met Queen Victoria." " I know!" " What a laugh!" " She was just sitting there!" " Like a stamp." " I want her to say, "We are not amused."" "I bet you 5 quid I can make her say it." "Well, if I gambled on that, it would be an abuse of my privilege as a traveller in time." " 10 quid." " Done." "I can't do this." "It's treason." "Then your wife will suffer the consequences." "Believe me, Sir Robert, she will be devoured." " Your Majesty." " Sir Robert." "My apologies for the emergency." "And how is Lady Isobel?" "She's indisposed, I'm afraid." "She's gone to Edinburgh for the season, and she's taken the cook with her, the kitchens are barely stocked." "I wouldn't blame Your Majesty if you wanted to ride on." "Not at all." "I've had quite enough carriage exercise, and this is charming, if rustic." "It's my first visit to this house." "My late husband spoke of it often, the Torchwood Estate." "Now, shall we go inside?" "And please excuse the naked girl." " Sorry!" " She's a feral child." "I bought her for sixpence in old London town." "It was her or the Elephant Man, so..." "Thinks he's funny, but I'm so not amused." "What do you think, ma'am?" "It hardly matters." "Shall we proceed?" "So close." "Mackeson and Ramsay, you will escort the property." "Hurry up." " Yes, sir." " Yes, sir." "So what's in there, then?" "Property of the Crown." "You will dismiss any further thoughts, sir." "The rest of you, go to the rear of the house." "Assume the designated positions." " You heard the orders, positions." " Sir." "You two, come with me..." "Guard it with your life." "This, I take it, is the famous endeavour." "All my father's work." "Built by hand in his final years." "It became something of an obsession." "He spent his money on this, rather than caring for the house or himself." "I wish I'd met him." "I like him." " That thing's beautiful, can I..." " Help yourself." " What did he model it on?" " I know nothing about it." "To be honest, most of us thought him a little, shall we say, eccentric." "I wish now I'd spent more time with him and listened to his stories." "It's a bit rubbish." "How many prisms has it got?" "Way too many!" "The magnification's gone right over the top." "That's a stupid kind of..." " Am I being rude again?" " Yep!" "But it's pretty!" "It's very pretty." "And the imagination of it should be applauded." "Hmm." "I thought you might disapprove, Your Majesty." "Stargazing." "Isn't that a bit fanciful?" "You could easily not be amused, or something." "No?" "This device surveys the infinite work of God." "What could be finer?" "Sir Robert's father was an example to us all, a polymath, steeped in astronomy and the sciences, yet equally well-versed in folklore and fairytales." "Stars and magic." "I like him more and more." "Oh, my late husband enjoyed his company." "Prince Albert himself was acquainted with many rural superstitions, coming as he did from Saxe-Coburg." "That's Bavaria." "When Albert was told about your local wolf, he was transported." "So what's this wolf, then?" " It's just a story." " Then tell it." " It's said that..." " Excuse me, sir." "Perhaps Her Majesty's party could repair to their rooms." "It's almost dark." "Of course." "Yes, of course." "And then supper." "And could we find some clothes for Miss Tyler?" " I'm tired of nakedness." " It's not amusing, is it?" "Sir Robert, your wife must have left some clothes." "See to it." "We shall dine at 7:00, and talk some more of this wolf." "After all, there is a full moon tonight." "So there is, ma'am." "They came through the house in silence." "They took the steward and the master, and my lady." "Listen, I've got a friend." "He's called the Doctor." "He'll know what to do." " You've got to come with me." " Oh, but I can't, Miss." " What's your name?" " Flora." "Flora, we'll be safe." "There's more people arrived downstairs, soldiers and everything." "They can help us." "I promise." "Come on." "Okay?" "Come on." "Oh, Miss, I did warn you." "He's not dead, I don't think." "He must be drugged or something." "Your companion begs an apology, Doctor." "Her clothing has somewhat delayed her." "Oh, that's all right." "Save her a wee bit of ham." "The feral child could probably eat it raw." " Very wise, ma'am." "Very witty." " Slightly witty, perhaps." "I know you rarely get the chance to dine with me, Captain, but don't get too excited." "I shall contain my wit in case I do you further injury." "Yes, ma'am." "Sorry, ma'am." "Besides, we're all waiting on Sir Robert." "Come, sir." " You promised us a tale of nightmares." " Indeed." "Since my husband's death," "I find myself with more of a taste for supernatural fiction." "You must miss him." "Very much." "Oh, completely." "And that's the charm of a ghost story, isn't it?" "Not the scares and chills, that's just for children, but the hope of some contact with the great beyond." "We all want some message from that place." "It's the Creator's greatest mystery that we're allowed no such consolation." "The dead stay silent, and we must wait." "Come, begin your tale, Sir Robert." "There's a chill in the air." "The wind is howling through the eaves." "Tell us of monsters." "Don't make a sound." "They said if we scream or shout, then he will slaughter us." "But he's in a cage." "He's a prisoner." "He's the same as us." "He's nothing like us." "That creature is not mortal." "The story goes back 300 years." "Every full moon, the howling rings through the valley." "Next morning, livestock is found ripped apart and devoured." "Oh, tales like this just disguise the work of thieves." "Steal the sheep and blame a wolf, simple as that." "But sometimes a child goes missing." "Once in a generation, a boy will vanish from his homestead." "Don't, child." " Who are you?" " Don't enrage him." "Where are you from?" "You're not from Earth." "What planet are you from?" "Oh... intelligence." " Where were you born?" " This body?" "Ten miles away." "A weakling, heartsick boy, stolen away at night by the Brethren for my cultivation." "I carved out his soul and sat in his heart." " Are there descriptions of the creature?" " Oh, yes, Doctor." "Drawings and wood carvings." "And it's not merely a wolf, it's more than that." "This is a man who becomes an animal." "A werewolf?" "All right, so the body's human." "What about you, the thing inside?" "So far from home." "If you want to get back home, we can help." "Why would I leave this place?" "A world of industry, of workforce and warfare." " I could turn it to such purpose." " How would you do that?" "I would migrate to the Holy Monarch." "You mean Queen Victoria?" "With one bite, I would pass into her blood." "And then it begins, the Empire of the Wolf." "So many questions." "Look!" "Inside your eyes." "You've seen it, too." "Seen what?" "The wolf." "There is something of the wolf about you." "I don't know what you mean." "Oh, you burn like the sun, but all I require is the moon." "My father didn't treat it as a story." "He said it was fact." "He even claimed to have communed with the beast, to have learned its purpose." "I should have listened." "His work was hindered." "He made enemies." "There's a monastery in the Glen of St Catherine." "The Brethren opposed my father's investigations." "Perhaps they thought his work ungodly." "That's what I thought, but now I wonder." "What if they had a different reason for wanting the story kept quiet?" "What if they turned from God and worshipped the wolf?" "And what if they were with us right now?" "Moonlight." "All of you, stop looking at him." "Flora, don't look, listen to me." "Grab hold of the chain and pull!" "Come on, with me!" "Pull!" "I said pull!" "Stop your whining and listen to me!" "All of yous!" "And that means you, your Ladyship." "Now, come on!" "Pull!" " What is the meaning of this?" " Explain yourself, sir." "I'm sorry, Your Majesty, they've got my wife." "Rose, where's Rose?" "Where is she?" "Sir Robert, come on!" "...three, pull!" "One, two, three, pull!" "Tell me, sir." "I demand to know your intention." "What is it that you want?" "The throne." "Two, three, pull!" "One, two, three, pull!" "Where the hell have you been?" " Oh, that's beautiful." " Isobel!" "Get out, all of you!" "Come on!" "Out!" "Out!" "Out!" "I take it, sir, that you halted my train to bring me here." "We've waited so long for one of your journeys to coincide with the moon." "Then you have waited in vain." "After six attempts on my life," "I am hardly unprepared." "Oh, I don't think so, woman." "The correct form of address is "Your Majesty"." " Guns." " I need five." "Lady Isobel, take the girls!" "Get them out through the kitchen." "Jackson, at arms..." "I can't leave you." "What will you do?" "I must defend Her Majesty." "Now, don't think of me, just go." "All of you at my side!" "Come on!" "Could be any form of light-modulating species triggered by specific wavelengths." "Did it say what it wanted?" "The Queen, the crown, the throne, you name it." "Fire!" "Fire!" " It won't open." "They've sealed us in." " Oh, my lady, look." "They'll never let us out." " They mean for us to die." " Don't say that, Flora!" "All right, you men, we should retreat upstairs." "Come with me." "I'll not retreat." "The battle's done." "There's no creature on God's earth could survive such an assault." "I'm telling you, come upstairs!" "And I'm telling you, sir," "I will sleep well tonight with that thing's hide upon my wall." "It must have crawled away to die." "There's nothing we can do!" "No!" "Did they kill it?" "Come close." " Your Majesty, Your Majesty!" " Sir Robert, what's happening?" "I heard such terrible noises." "Your Majesty, we've got to get out." "But what of Father Angelo, is he still here?" "Captain Reynolds disposed of him." "The front door's no good." "It's been boarded shut." "Pardon me, Your Majesty, you'll have to leg it out of a window." "Excuse my manners, ma'am, but I shall go first, the better to assist Her Majesty's egress." "A noble sentiment, my Sir Walter Raleigh." "Yeah, any chance you could hurry up?" "I reckon the monky-boys want us to stay inside." " Do they know who I am?" " Yeah, that's why they want you." "The wolf's lined you up for a biting." "Now, stop this talk." "There can't be an actual wolf." " What do we do?" " We run." " Is that it?" " You got any silver bullets?" " Not on me, no." " There we are, then." "We run." "Your Majesty, as a doctor, I recommend a vigorous jog, good for the health." "Come on." "Come on." "I'll take this position and hold it." "You keep moving, for God's sake." "Your Majesty, I went to look for the property and it was taken." " The chest was empty." " I have it." "It's safe." "Then remove yourself, ma'am." "Doctor, you stand as Her Majesty's protector." "And you, Sir Robert." "You're a traitor to the Crown." " Bullets can't stop it." " They'll buy you time." "Now, run!" "Rose!" "Barricade the door." "Wait a minute." "Shh." "Wait, wait, wait." "Shh." "It stopped." "It's gone." "Listen." " Is this the only door?" " Yes." "No!" "Shh!" "I don't understand." "What's stopping it?" "Something inside this room." "What is it?" "Why can't it get in?" " I tell you what, though." " What?" " Werewolf." " I know!" " You all right?" " I'm okay, yeah." "I'm sorry, ma'am." "It's all my fault." "I should have sent you away." "I tried to suggest something was wrong." "I thought you might notice." "Did you think there was nothing strange about my household staff?" "Well, they were bald, athletic." "Your wife's away, I just thought you were happy." "I'll tell you what though, ma'am, I bet you're not amused now." " Do you think this funny?" " No, ma'am, I'm sorry." "What, exactly, I pray, tell me, someone, please, what exactly is that creature?" "You'd call it a werewolf, but technically it's more of a lupine-wavelength haemovariform." "And should I trust you, sir?" "You, who change your voice so easily?" "What happened to your accent?" " Oh, right, sorry, that..." " I'll not have it." "No, sir." "Not you, not that thing, none of it." "This is not my world." "Mistletoe." "They're all garlanded in mistletoe and the wolf doesn't attack them." " Who brought this into the kitchen?" " Must have been the Brethren." "Gather it up, quickly." "Every last scrap." "Quick, now!" "Mistletoe." "Sir Robert, did your father put that there?" "I don't know." "I suppose." "And on the other door, too." "Though a carving wouldn't be enough." "I wonder." "Vlscum album, the oil of the mistletoe." "It's been worked into the wood like a varnish." "How clever was your dad?" "I love him!" "Powerful stuff, mistletoe, bursting with lectins and viscotoxins." " And the wolf's allergic to it?" " Or it thinks it is." "The monky-monk-monks need a way of controlling the wolf, maybe they trained it to react against certain things." "Nevertheless, that creature won't give up, Doctor, and we still don't possess an actual weapon." "Oh, your father got all the brains, didn't he?" " Being rude again." " Good, I meant that one." "You want weapons?" "We're in a library." "Books!" "Best weapons in the world." "This room is the greatest arsenal we could have." "Arm yourself." "There's no sound of the wolf, my lady, perhaps it's gone." "And perhaps it's toying with us." "But my husband's up there, and if there's any chance he's still alive, then, by God, I'll assist him." "Look up biology and zoology." " There might be something on wolves." " What about this?" " A whole book on mistletoe." " "The application of gunpowder..."" " lf we could build some form of explosive." " Hmm, that's the sort of thing." "Ohhh." "Look what your old dad found." "Something fell to Earth." " A spaceship?" " Shooting star." ""In the year of our Lord 1540, under the reign of King James V," ""an almighty fire did burn in the pit."" "That's the Glen of Saint Catherine, just by the monastery." "But that's over 300 years ago." "What's it been waiting for?" "Maybe just a single cell survived." "Adapting slowly down the generations, it survived through the humans, host after host after host." "But why does it want the throne?" "That's what it wants, it said so." "The Empire of the Wolf." "Imagine it." "The Victorian Age accelerated." "Starships and missiles fuelled by coal and driven by steam, leaving history devastated in its wake." " Sir Robert." "If I am to die here..." " Don't say that, Your Majesty." "...I would destroy myself rather than let that creature infect me, but that's no matter." "I ask only that you find some place of safekeeping for something far older and more precious than myself." "Hardly the time to worry about your valuables." "Thank you for your opinion, but there is nothing more valuable than this." "Oh, Your Majesty." " Is that the Koh-i-noor?" " Oh, yes." "The greatest diamond in the world." "Given to me as the spoils of war." "Perhaps its legend is now coming true." "It is said that whoever owns it must surely die." "Well, that's true of anything, if you wait long enough." "Can I?" " That is so beautiful." " How much is that worth?" "They say, the wages of the entire planet for a whole week." "Good job my mum's not here, she'd be fighting the wolf off with her bare hands for that thing." " And she'd win." " Where is the wolf?" " I don't trust this silence." " Why do you travel with it?" "My annual pilgrimage." "I'm taking it to Hellier and Carew, the Royal Jewellers at Hazlehead." "The stone needs recutting." " But it's perfect." " My late husband never thought so." "Now, there's a fact." "Prince Albert kept on having the Koh-i-noor cut down." "It used to be 40% bigger than this, but he was never happy." "Kept on cutting and cutting." "He always said the shine was not quite right, but he died with it still unfinished." "Unfinished." "Oh, yes!" "There's a lot of unfinished business in this house." "His father's research and your husband, ma'am." "He came here and he sought the perfect diamond." "Hold on, oh, hold on." "All these separate things, they're not separate at all, they're connected." "Oh, my head, my head!" "What if this house..." "It's a trap for you." "Is that right, ma'am?" " Obviously." " At least, that's what the wolf intended, but what if there's a trap inside the trap?" "Explain yourself, Doctor." "What if his father and your husband weren't just telling each other stories." "They dared to imagine all this was true, and they planned against it." "Laying the real trap not for you, but for the wolf." "That wolf, there." "Out!" "Out!" "Out!" "Out!" "Your Majesty!" "We've got to get to the observatory!" " Good shot!" " It was mistletoe." "Isobel." " Now get back downstairs." " Keep yourself safe." "My love." "Now, go." "Girls, come with me." "Down the back stairs back to the kitchens, quickly." "Come on." "The observatory is this way." "No mistletoe on these doors, 'cause your father wanted the wolf to get inside." "I just need time." "Is there any way of barricading this?" "Do your work, and I'll defend it." "If we could bind them shut with rope or something..." "I said I'll find you time, sir." "Now, get inside." "Good man." "Your Majesty, the diamond." " For what purpose?" " The purpose it was designed for." "Rose." "Lift it, come on." " Not the right time for stargazing." " Yes, it is." "I committed treason for you, but now my wife will remember me with honour." "I am the Defender of the Faith, and that Faith shall defend me." "You said this thing doesn't work." "It doesn't work as a telescope, 'cause that's not what it is." "It's a light chamber." "It magnifies the light, like a weapon." " We've just got to power it up." " With what?" "There's no electricity." "Moonlight." "But the wolf needs moonlight." "It's made by moonlight." "You're 70% water, you can still drown." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Make it brighter." "Let me go." "Your Majesty?" "Did it bite you?" "No, it's..." "It's a cut, that's all." "If that thing bit you..." "It was a splinter of wood when the door came apart." "It's nothing." " Let me see." " It is nothing." "By the power invested in me by the Church and the State," "I dub thee Sir Doctor of Tardis." "By the power invested in me by the Church and the State," "I dub thee Dame Rose of the Powell Estate." "You may stand." "Many thanks, ma'am." "Thanks." "They're never gonna believe this back home." "Your Majesty, you said last night about receiving no message from the great beyond." "I think your husband cut that diamond to save your life." "He's protecting you even now, ma'am, from beyond the grave." "Indeed." "Then you may think on this also, that I am not amused." "Yes!" "Not remotely amused." "And henceforth, I banish you." "I'm sorry?" "I have rewarded you, Sir Doctor, and now you are exiled from this Empire, never to return." "I don't know what you are, the two of you, or where you're from, but I know that you consort with stars and magic, and think it fun." "But your world is steeped in terror and blasphemy and death, and I will not allow it." "You will leave these shores, and you will reflect, I hope, on how you came to stray so far from all that is good, and how much longer you may survive this terrible life." "Now leave my world, and never return." " Whoa!" " Cheers!" " Walk on." " No, but the funny thing is," "Queen Victoria actually did suffer a mutation of the blood." "It's historical record." "She was haemophiliac." "They used to call it the Royal Disease, but it's always been a mystery because she didn't inherit it." "Her mum didn't have it." "Her dad didn't have it." " It came from nowhere." " What, and you're saying that's a wolf bite?" "Well, maybe haemophilia is just a Victorian euphemism." " For werewolf?" " Could be." " Queen Victoria's a werewolf?" " Could be." "And her children had the Royal Disease." "Maybe she gave them a quick nip." " So the Royal Family are werewolves?" " Well, maybe not yet." "I mean, a single wolf cell could take 100 years to mature." "Might be ready by, oh, early 21 st century." "No, that's just ridiculous." " Mind you, Princess Anne." " I'll say no more." "And if you think about it, they're very private." "They plan everything in advance." "They could schedule themselves around the moon." "We'd never know." "And they like hunting." "They love blood sports." "Oh, my God!" "They're werewolves!" "What will you do?" "Will you stay here?" "I don't think I could." "I'd sell it, or pull this place down." "Although we may not speak of these events in public, they will not be forgotten." "I promise you that." "Your husband's sacrifice, the ingenuity of his father, they will live on." "But how?" "I saw, last night, that Great Britain has enemies beyond imagination, and we must defend our borders on all sides." "I propose an institute to investigate these strange happenings and to fight them." "I would call it Torchwood." "The Torchwood Institute." "And if this Doctor should return, then he should beware, because Torchwood will be waiting." "Good morning, class." "Are we sitting comfortably?" "Three months ago, turns out all the kitchen staff were replaced." "See?" "There's definitely something going on." "I was right to call you home." "May I introduce Miss Sarah Jane Smith." " Nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you!" "Yes." "Very nice." "You are not permitted to leave your station during a sitting." "Boy in class this morning, got knowledge way beyond planet Earth." "K9!" "Our time has come, my brothers." "Today we shall become gods." " What do you want?" " The nurse sent me, sir." "I was in English and I got a headache." " Then don't bother me, go home." " I can't." "Why?" "Is your mother at work?" "I live in Ambrose Hall, the children's home." "No parents?" "No one to miss you?" "I see why the nurse sent you." "You poor child." "Poor, thin child." "Come inside." "It's nearly time for lunch." "Good morning, class." "Are we sitting comfortably?" "So... physics." "Physics, eh?" "Physics." "Physics." "Physics!" "Physics." "Physics." "Physics." "Physics." "Physics." "Physics." "Physics." "I hope one of you is getting all this down." "Okay, let's see what you know." "Two identical strips of nylon are charged with static electricity and hung from a string so they can swing freely." "What would happen if they were brought near each other?" " Yes, what's your name?" " Milo." "Milo." "Off you go." "They'd repel each other because they have the same charge." "Correct-amundo." "A word I have never used before and hopefully never will again." "Question two." "I coil up a thin piece of nichrome wire and place it in a glass of water." "Then I turn on the electricity and measure to see if the water temperature is affected." "My question is this." "How do I measure the electrical power going into the coil?" "Someone else." "No?" "Okay." "Milo, go for it." "Measure the current and PD using an ammeter and voltmeter." "Two to Milo!" "Right, Milo, tell me this." "True or false, the greater the damping on a system, the quicker it loses energy to its surroundings." " False." " What is non-coding DNA?" "DNA that doesn't code for a protein." " 65,983 times 5." " 329,915." "How do you travel faster than light?" "By harnessing a quantum tunnel with an FTL factor of 36.7 recurring." "Two days." "Sorry, could you just..." "There's a bit of gravy." " No, no, just there." " Two days we've been here." "Blame your boyfriend." "He's the one who put us on to this." "He was right." "Boy in class this morning, got knowledge way beyond planet Earth." " You eating those chips?" " Yeah, they're a bit... different." "I think they're gorgeous." "Wish I had school dinners like this." "It's very well behaved this place." "I thought they'd all be happy-slapping hoodies." "Happy-slapping hoodies with ASBOs." "Happy-slapping hoodies with ASBOs and ringtones." "Eh?" "Don't tell me I don't fit in." "You are not permitted to leave your station during a sitting." "I was just talking to this teacher." " Hello." " He doesn't like the chips." "The menu has been specifically designed by the headmaster to improve concentration and performance." "Now get back to work." "See?" "This is me." "Dinner lady." " I'll have the crumble." " I'm so gonna kill you." "Melissa." "You'll be joining my class for the next period." "Milo's failed me so it's time we moved you up to the top class." " Kenny, not eating the chips?" " I'm not allowed." "Luke, extra class." "Now!" " Careful, keep it steady." " Don't spill a drop." "I said keep it steady." "Careful." "That's it." "Easy now." "Steady." "Right, second barrel, quickly now." " What have you got?" " Conflrmatlon." "I just got into army records." "Three months ago, massive UFO activity." "They logged over 40 sightings." "Lights in the sky, all of that." "Can't get any photos 'cause then it gets all classified, secret." " Keeps locking me out." " Tell you what, though." "Three months ago, turns out all the kitchen staff were replaced." "And this lot are weird." "There's definitely something going on." "I was right to call you home." "I thought maybe you called me home just..." "Well, just to call me home." "Do you think I'd just invent an emergency?" " You could've done." " That's the last thing I'd do." "'Cause every time I see you, an emergency just gets in the way." "I've got to go." "Get her up, get her up!" "Rose, what is it?" "What..." " What you doing?" " Calling an ambulance." "No need, she's quite all right." "It's fine." "She does that." "I'd like you all to put your headphones on now, please." "Oh, children, the things you will see." "Mathematics." "That's the cornerstone of our work here." "But my improvements aren't confined to the classroom." "No, no, no." "We've introduced a new policy here." "School dinners are absolutely free, but compulsory." "Do try the chips." "Oh, I'd love to, thank you." "And it's got to be said, the transformation you've brought about, it's amazing." "I mean, maybe you're working the children a little bit too hard now and then, but I think good results are more important than anything." "Exactly." "You're a woman of vision, Miss Smith." "Oh, I can see everything, Mr Finch." "Quite clearly." "Yesterday I had a 12-year-old girl give me the exact height of the walls of Troy in cubits." "And it's ever since the new headmaster arrived?" "Finch arrived three months ago, next day half the staff got flu." "Finch replaced them with that lot." "Except for the teacher you replaced, and that was just plain weird, her winning the lottery like that." " How's that weird?" " She never played." "Said the ticket was posted through her door at midnight." "Hmm?" "The world is very strange." " Excuse me, colleagues." " A moment of your time." "May I introduce Miss Sarah Jane Smith." "Miss Smith is a journalist who's writing a profile about me for The Sunday Times." "I thought it might be useful for her to get a view from the trenches, so to speak." "Don't spare my blushes." "Hello." "Oh, I should think so." "And you are?" "Mmm?" "Uh, Smith." "John Smith." "John Smith?" "I used to have a friend who sometimes went by that name." "Well, it's a very common name." "He was a very uncommon man." " Nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you!" "Yes." "Very nice." "More than nice." "Brilliant." "So, have you worked here long?" "No, it's only my second day." "Oh, you're new, then?" "So what do you think of the school?" "I mean, this new curriculum, so many children getting ill." "Doesn't that strike you as odd?" "You don't sound like someone just doing a profile." "Well, no harm in a little investigation while I'm here." "No, good for you." "Good for you." "Oh, good for you, Sarah Jane Smith." "This isn't your classroom, Kenny." "Now run along." "Oh!" "It's weird seeing school at night." "It just feels wrong." "When I was a kid, I used to think all the teachers slept in school." "All right, team..." "Oh, I hate people who say "team"." "Uh, gang." "Erm... comrades." "Anyway, Rose, go to the kitchen, get a sample of that oil." "Mickey, the new staff are all maths teachers." "Check out the maths department." "I'm gonna look in Finch's office." "Meet back here in 10 minutes." "You gonna be all right?" "Me?" "Please." "Infiltration and investigation?" "I'm an expert at this." "Where's the maths department?" "Down there, turn left, through the fire doors, on the right." "Thank you." "Hello, Sarah Jane." "It's you." "Doctor." "Oh, my God." "It's you, isn't it?" " You've regenerated." " Yeah." "Half a dozen times since we last met." "You look... incredible." "So do you." "I got old." "What are you doing here?" "Well, UFO sighting, school gets record results." "I couldn't resist." " What about you?" " The same." "I thought you'd died." "I waited for you, you didn't come back and I thought you must have died." "I lived." "Everyone else died." " What do you mean?" " Everyone died, Sarah." "I can't believe it's you." "Okay, now I can." "Did you hear that?" " Who's she?" " Rose, Sarah Jane." "Sarah Jane, Rose." "Hi." "Nice to meet you." "You can tell you're getting older, your assistants are getting younger." " I'm not his assistant." " No?" "Get you, tiger." "Sorry." "Sorry, it was only me." "You told me to investigate so I started looking through these cupboards" " and all these fell out on me." " Oh, my God, they're rats." "Dozens of rats." "Vacuum-packed rats!" " And you decided to scream?" " It took me by surprise." " Like a little girl." " It was dark!" "I was covered in rats!" "Nine, maybe ten years old." "I'm seeing pigtails, frilly skirt." "Hello, can we focus?" "Has anyone noticed anything strange about this?" "Rats in school?" "Well, obviously, they use them in biology lessons, they dissect them." "Or maybe you haven't reached that bit yet." "How old are you?" "Excuse me, no one dissects rats in school anymore." "They haven't done that for years." "Where are you from, the Dark Ages?" "Anyway!" "Moving on..." "Everything started when Mr Finch arrived." "We should go and check his office." "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but who exactly are you?" "Sarah Jane Smith." "I used to travel with the Doctor." "Oh!" "Well, he's never mentioned you." "Oh, I must've done." "Sarah Jane." "I mention her all the time." "Hold on, sorry... never." "What, not even once?" "He didn't mention me even once?" "Oh, mate." "The missus and the ex." "Welcome to every man's worst nightmare." " Maybe those rats were food." " Food for what?" "Rose." "You know how you used to think all the teachers slept in the school?" "Well, they do." "No way!" " I am not going back in there." "No way!" " Those were the teachers?" "When Finch arrived, he brought with him seven new teachers, four dinner ladies and a nurse, 13." "Thirteen big bat people." "Come on." " You've got to be kidding." " I need the Tardis." "I've got to analyse that oil from the kitchen." "I might be able to help you there." "I've got something to show you." "K9!" "Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, allow me to introduce K9." "Well, K9 Mark 3 to be precise." "Why does he look so... disco?" "Oi!" "Listen, in the year 5,000 this was cutting edge." " What's happened to him?" " One day, just..." "Nothing." "Didn't you try and get him repaired?" "It's not like getting parts for a Mini Metro." "Besides, the technology inside him could rewrite human science." "I couldn't show him to anyone." "Ooh, what's the nasty lady done to you, eh?" "Look, no offence, but can you two just stop petting for a minute?" "Never mind the tin dog, we're busy." "You see, what's impressive is that it's been nearly an hour since we met her" " and I still haven't said "I told you so"." " I'm not listening to this." "Though I have prepared a little "I was right" dance that I can show you later." "Two quid, love." "All this time you've been giving it "he's different", but the truth is, he's just like any other bloke." " You don't know what you're talking about." " Maybe not." "But if I were you, I'd go easy on the chips." "Come to me." "Come to me." "I thought of you on Christmas Day, this Christmas just gone." "Great big spaceship overhead, I thought, "Oh, yeah!" "Bet he's up there."" "Right on top of it, yeah." " And Rose?" " She was there, too." "Did I do something wrong?" "'Cause you never came back for me." "You just dumped me." "I told you, I was called back home and in those days humans weren't allowed." "I waited for you." " I missed you." " Oh, you didn't need me." " You were getting on with your life." " You were my life." "You know what the most difficult thing was?" "Coping with what happens next." "You know, with what doesn't happen next." "You took me to the furthest reaches of the galaxy, you showed me supernovas, intergalactic battles, and then you just dropped me back on Earth." "How could anything compare to that?" "All those things you saw, you want me to apologise for that?" "No, but... we get a taste of that splendour and then we have to go back." "But look at you, you're investigating." "You found that school." "You're doing what we always did." "You could have come back." " I couldn't." " Why not?" "It wasn't Croydon." "Where you dropped me off, it wasn't Croydon." " Where was it?" " Aberdeen." "Right." "That's next to Croydon, isn't it?" "Oh, hey!" "Now we're in business!" " Master?" " He recognises me!" " Afflrmatlve." " Rose, give us the oil." "I wouldn't touch it, though." "That dinner lady got all scorched." "I'm no dinner lady." "And I don't often say that." "Here we go." "Come on, boy, here we go." "Oll extract... analysing." " Listen to him, man!" "That's a voice." " Careful." "That's my dog." "Conflrmatlon of analysis." "Substance Is Krlllltane oil." "They're Krillitanes." " Is that bad?" " Very." "Think how bad things could possibly be and add another suitcase full of bad." " And what are Krillitanes?" " They're a composite race." "Just like your culture is a mixture of traditions from all sorts of countries, people you've invaded or been invaded by, you've got bits of Viking, bits of France, bits of whatever." "The Krillitanes are the same, an amalgam of the races they've conquered." "But they take physical aspects as well." "They cherry-pick the best bits from the people they destroy." "That's why I didn't recognise them." "The last time I saw Krillitanes they looked just like us, except they had really long necks." "What are they doing here?" "It's the children." "They're doing something to the children." "So, what's the deal with the tin dog?" "The Doctor likes travelling with an entourage." "Sometimes they're humans, sometimes they're aliens, and sometimes they're tin dogs." "What about you?" "Where do you fit in the picture?" "Me?" "I'm their man in Havana, I'm their technical support, I'm..." "Oh, my God." "I'm the tin dog." "On my command." "How many of us have there been travelling with you?" " Does it matter?" " Yeah, it does, if I'm just the latest in a long line." "As opposed to what?" "I thought you and me were..." "I obviously got it wrong." "I've been to the year 5 billion, right, but this..." "Now, this is really seeing the future." "You just leave us behind." " Is that what you're gonna do to me?" " No." "Not to you." "But Sarah Jane." "You were that close to her once, and now, you never even mention her." " Why not?" " I don't age." "I regenerate." "But humans decay." "You wither and you die." "Imagine watching that happen to someone that you..." "What, Doctor?" "You can spend the rest of your life with me... but I can't spend the rest of mine with you." "I have to live on." "Alone." "That's the curse of the Time Lords." "Time Lord." "Was that a Krillitane?" "It didn't even touch you, it just flew off." "What did it do that for?" "Rose and Sarah, you go to the maths room." "Crack open those computers." "I need to see the hardware inside." "Here, you might need this." "Mickey, surveillance." "I want you outside." "Just stand outside?" "Here, take these." "You can keep K9 company." "Don't forget to leave the window open a crack." " He's metal." " I didn't mean for him." " What are you gonna do?" " It's time I had a word with Mr Finch." " Who are you?" " My name is Brother Lassar." "And you?" "The Doctor." "Since when did Krillitanes have wings?" "It's been our form for nearly 10 generations now." "Our ancestors invaded Bessan." "The people there had some rather lovely wings." "They made a million widows in one day, just imagine." "And now your shape's human." "A personal favourite, that's all." " And the others?" " My brothers remain bat form." "What you see is a simple morphic illusion." "Scratch the surface and the true Krillitane lies beneath." "And what of the Time Lords?" "I always thought of you as such a pompous race." "Ancient, dusty senators." "So frightened of change, and chaos." "And, of course, they're all but extinct." "Only you." "The last." "This plan of yours, what is it?" " You don't know?" " That's why I'm asking." "Well, show me how clever you are." "Work it out." "If I don't like it, then it will stop." "Fascinating." "Your people were peaceful to the point of indolence." "You seem to be something new." "Would you declare war on us, Doctor?" "I'm so old now." "I used to have so much mercy." "You get one warning." "That was it." "But we're not even enemies." "Soon, you will embrace us." "The next time we meet, you will join with me." "I promise you." "Surveillance!" "You ask me, it's just another way of saying," ""Go sit at the back of the class with the safety scissors and glitter."" "That'll be me talking to a metal dog, then." "Oh!" " It's not working." " Give it to me." "Used to work first time in my day." "Well, things were a lot simpler back then." " Rose, can I give you a bit of advice?" " I've got a feeling you're about to." "I know how intense a relationship with the Doctor can be and I don't want you to feel I'm intruding..." "I don't feel threatened by you if that's what you mean." "Right." "Good." "Because I'm not interested in picking up where we left off." "No?" "With the big sad eyes and the robot dog, what else were you doing last night?" "I was just saying how hard it was adjusting to life back on Earth." "The thing is, when you two met, they'd only just got rid of rationing." "No wonder all that space stuff was a bit too much for you." "I had no problem with space stuff." "I saw things you wouldn't believe." "Try me." " Mummies." " I've met ghosts." " Robots." "Lots of robots." " Slitheen, in Downing Street." " Daleks." " Met the Emperor." " Antimatter monsters!" " Gas mask zombies!" " Real living dinosaurs!" " Real living werewolf!" " The Loch Ness monster!" " Seriously?" "Oh!" "Listen to us." "It's like me and my mate Shareen, the only time we fell out was over a man." "And we're arguing over the Doctor." "With you, did he do that thing where he'd explain something at like 90 miles per hour, and you'd go, "What?" and he'd look at you like you'd just dribbled on your shirt?" "All the time." "Does he still stroke bits of the Tardis?" "Yeah!" "Yeah, he does!" "I'm like, "Do you two want to be alone?"" "How's it going?" "What?" "Listen, I need to find out what's programmed inside these." "What?" "Stop it." "Brothers, we must initiate the final phase." "Get the children inside and seal the school." "Our time has come, my brothers." "Today we shall become gods." "All pupils to class Immedlately." "And would all members of staff please congregate In the staff room?" "Break time's finished early!" "Isn't that fantastic?" "No, no, this classroom's out of bounds." "You've all got to go to the south hall." "Off you go, south hall!" "What is it now, Mr Finch?" "Slight change in the timetable." "We're having an early lunch." "I can't shift it." "I thought the sonic screwdriver could open anything." "Anything except a deadlock seal." "There's got to be something inside here." "What are they teaching those kids?" "Close the school." "You wanted the programme." "There it is." "Some sort of code." "No." "No, they can't be." " They've taken them all." " What?" "They've taken all the children!" "Turn..." "Come on, I need some help." "System restarting." "All primary drives functioning." "You're working!" "Okay, no time to explain, we need to get inside the school." "Do you have, like, I don't know, a lock-picking device?" "We are In a car." " Maybe a drill attachment?" " We are In a car." "Fat lot of good you are." "We are In a car." "Wait a second." "We're in a car." "Get back!" "The Skasas Paradigm." "They're trying to crack the Skasas Paradigm." "The Skasas what?" "The god-maker." "The universal theory." "Crack that equation and you've got control of the building blocks of the universe." "Time and space and matter, yours to control." "What, and the kids are like a giant computer?" "Yes." "And their learning power is being accelerated by the oil." "That oil from the kitchens, it works as a conducting agent, makes the kids cleverer." "But that oil's on the chips." "I've been eating them." " What's 59 times 35?" " 2065." "Oh, my God!" "But why use children?" "Can't they use adults?" "No, it's got to be children." "The god-maker needs imagination to crack it." "They're not just using the children's brains to break the code, they're using their souls." "Let the lesson begin." "Think of it, Doctor." "With the paradigm solved, reality becomes clay in our hands." "We can shape the universe and improve it." "Oh, yeah, the whole of creation with the face of Mr Finch." "Call me old-fashioned, I like things as they are." "You act like such a radical and yet all you want to do is preserve the old order." "Think of the changes that could be made if this power was used for good." " What, by someone like you?" " No." "Someone like you." "The paradigm gives us power, but you could give us wisdom." "Become a god at my side." "Imagine what you could do." "Think of the civilisations you could save." "Perganon, Ascinta, your own people, Doctor." "Standing tall." "The Time Lords... reborn." "Doctor, don't listen to him." "And you could be with him throughout eternity." "Young, fresh." "Never wither, never age, never die." "Their lives are so fleeting." "So many goodbyes." "How lonely you must be, Doctor." "Join us." " I could save everyone." " Yes." "I could stop the war." "No." "The universe has to move forward." "Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love." "Whether it's a world or a relationship." "Everything has its time." "And everything ends." "Out!" "Come on!" "What is going on?" " Are they my teachers?" " Yeah." "I'm sorry." "We need the Doctor alive." "As for the others, you can feast." "K9!" "Suggest you engage running mode, mistress." "Come on!" "K9, hold them back!" "Afflrmatlve, master." "Maxlmum defence model" "Come on!" "Power supply falllng." "Forget the shooty dog thing." "Power supply falllng." "It's the oil." "Krillitane life forms can't handle the oil!" "That's it!" "They've changed their physiology so often, even their own oil is toxic to them." " How much was there in the kitchens?" " Barrels of it." "We need to get to the kitchens." "Mickey..." "What now?" "Hold the coats?" "Get all the children unplugged and out of the school." " Now, then, bats, bats, bats." " How do we fight bats?" "Get after them." "Master." "Come on, boy!" "Good boy." "Okay, listen, everyone, we've got to get out of here!" "They've been deadlock sealed." "Finch must have done it." "I can't open them." "The vats would not withstand a direct hit from my laser, but my batteries are falllng." "Right, everyone out the back door." "K9, stay with me." "Everyone, get out." "Now!" "Come on!" "Move!" "Let's go, let's go!" "Capaclty for only one shot, master." "For maximum Impact, I must be stationed directly beside the vat." " But you'll be trapped inside." " That Is correct." " I can't let you do that." " No alternative possible, master." " Goodbye, old friend." " Goodbye, master." " You good dog." " Afflrmatlve." " Where's K9?" " We need to run." "Where is he?" "What have you done?" "When we find him, eat him if you must, but bring me his brain." "The little dog with the nasty bite." "Not so powerful now, are you?" "Come on guys, let's go, let's go!" "Come on!" "Burning!" "You bad dog." "Afflrmatlve." "Yes!" " Did you have something to do with it?" " Yeah, I did." "Oh, my God." "Kenny blew up the school!" "It was Kenny!" "Kenny!" "Kenny!" "Kenny!" " I'm sorry." " It's all right." "He was just a daft metal dog." "Fine, really." "Cup of tea?" " You've redecorated." " Do you like it?" "Oh, I do." "Yeah." "I preferred it as it was, but it'll do." "I love it." "Hey, what's 47 times 369?" "No idea." " It's gone now, the oil's faded." " But you're still clever." " More than a match for him." " You and me both." "Doctor?" "Um, we're about to head off, but you could come with us." "No." "I can't do this anymore." "Besides, I've got a much bigger adventure ahead." "Time I stopped waiting for you and found a life of my own." "Can I come?" "Not with you, I mean, with you." "'Cause I'm not the tin dog and I wanna see what's out there." "Oh, go on, Doctor." "Sarah Jane Smith and Mickey Smith, you need a Smith on board." "Okay, then." "I could do with a laugh." " Rose, is that okay?" " No, great." "Why not?" "Well, I better go." "What do I do?" " Do I stay with him?" " Yes." "Some things are worth getting your heart broken for." "Find me, if you need to one day." "Find me." "It's daft, but I haven't ever thanked you for that time and like I said," "I wouldn't have missed it for the world." "Something to tell the grandkids." "Oh, I think it'll be someone else's grandkids now." "Right, yes, sorry." "I didn't get a chance to ask..." "There hasn't been anyone..." "You know." "Well, there was this one guy." "I travelled with him for a while, but he was a tough act to follow." "Goodbye, Doctor." " Oh, it's not goodbye." " You say it, please." "This time." "Say it." "Goodbye." "My Sarah Jane." "K9!" " Mlstress." " But you were blown up." "The master rebuilt me." "My systems are much Improved with new omnl-flexlble hyperlink facilities." "He replaced you with a brand-new model." "Afflrmatlve." "Yeah." "He does that." "Come on, you." "Home." "We've got work to do." "Afflrmatlve." "We are under attack." "There are creatures." "We can't stop them." "I need to find out what they're looking for." "There's only one way I can do that." "You are inside my mind." "A spaceship from the 51 st century stalking a woman from the 18th." "One of them must have found the right time window." "Now it's time to send in the troops." "Mickey!" "The clock on the mantel is broken." "It is time!" "Doctor!" "Doctor!"