"We're good." "Your talent for breaking and entering is unmatched, Katherine." "I had a good teacher." "Taught me everything he knows." "Not everything, there's still one lesson left." "Clive, I already told you, I'd only break your heart." "Hm." "Company." "Hey, you." "Central, we've got Mr. Thurgood." "Okay." "Ah." "Cleopatra's Eye." "It is beautiful." "Good evening, sir." "Getting to feel a lot like Christmas now, Ronnie." "Hey, get your own meal together." "I'll get that." "You finish up here." "By the way, Catherine, final lesson:" "never trust a thief." "Oh no." "Hold it right there!" "Son of a...!" "Oh no, you didn't!" "Ladies and gentlemen, you're gonna have to sit tight." "Nothing is leaving the Bahamas until the storm passes." "However, we're offering a complimentary champagne breakfast for any inconvenience." "I don't have another babysitter." "Yeah, I know we said we'd be home today, Verda," "Brian's working on it now." "Yes, no, I realize you have plans for the holidays." "Maybe you could just put them off a day or so." "I'll call you back." "I can't believe this." "I can't believe..." "I can't believe that you took me on a company retreat the week before Christmas." "So this is my fault." "You know what?" "You're right." "What was I thinking?" "I should have known that a tropical depression was gonna form in the Caribbean, is that it?" "Well, statistically speaking... " "Sorry, what are we gonna do, Brian?" "It's a week before Christmas, who's gonna stay with the kids?" "What about your parents?" "Senior's cruise." "Okay, okay, think." "Think, who was smarter than us and stayed home the week before Christmas?" "We're gonna find someone, it's gonna be okay." "How can you be so calm?" "Aren't you worried?" "Of course I am." "Give me a page out of your book." "Really?" "Eleven relatives in town?" "Well, Annie and Parker, they don't take up much room and they love leftovers." "I realize that Parker sold your dog on eBay but in his defense, he got such a good price." "No, really, no need to explain, it's bad timing." "Annie just adores your little..." "Emily." "They would have such a... is that so?" "When Annie called her smallminded she meant it in a really positive way." "Okay." "You're out of town, okay." "Wait, didn't I dial your home number?" "Isn't that your dog barking?" "It's a gas leak, so, laughing gas or..." "The flu, huh?" "And what are your symptoms exactly?" "There's no one left to call." "There is one person we haven't tried." "Who?" "Oh!" "No, you can't be serious." "What other option do we have?" "She is completely unreliable." "Beggars can't be choosers!" "She's selfish and impossible to talk to." "It's only for a couple of days." "I told you that guy was no good." "Really not helping, Duffy." "Excuse me, portable phones?" "Aisle eight, Ma'am." "Don't you think it's time you give up your job here at The Big Buy?" "Why?" "To give up my insurance benefits?" "Maybe I could have taken early retirement if you'd come through on this diamond but... now I'm gonna be hustling DVD players off the loading docks for the next 20 years." "If I'm lucky." "I never promised you that you could fence the diamond." "I said I'd introduce you to Clive, that's all." "Still, it's a little disappointing." "Anyway, you're gonna need to lay low till this thing blows over." "This better be you, Clive." "No, Cate, it's your sister." "Savannah, can I call you back?" "You know I wouldn't call you unless I needed your help." "What do you know?" "Miss Goody Two-Shoes needs help from her no-good sister." "What's going on?" "Well, it looks like Brian and I are stuck in the Bahamas and our babysitter can't watch Annie and Parker." "I need you to stay with the kids, just for a few days till we get back." "You know how I feel about coming home." "Besides, I don't think I can." "Cate!" "What?" "Young woman possibly 5'2" with dark hair." "Authorities say it's just a matter of time for the brazen thief..." "Um, on second thought a hometown visit might be just what I need." "Merry Christmas." "Hm, for you, maybe." "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way." "Oh what fun it will be to get out of here today, hey!" "Verda!" "Verda!" "Verda!" "Whoo!" "The kitchen's on fire!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Get back!" "You little..." "That's so not funny, Parker." "Not bad." "Grade school inspiration but I'll give you an A for execution." "Parker did it." "Rule one: never flip on a partner." "Aunt Cate, is that you?" "The one and only." "What are you doing here?" "I'm here to babysit." "Mom wouldn't do that." "Oh, but she did." "Have a great holiday." "Check is in the mail, etcetera, etcetera, see ya." "Those children are the spawn of Satan." "Yeah, we like to think so." "Yes." "Okay, bye." "Bye." "You're smaller than I remember." "We're not small." "We both rank in the 50th percentile, in the hight chart." "That's perfectly normal." "Smaller and argumentative." "Don't worry, kid," "I'm only here until your parents get back or something fresh hits the news." "As long as you stay out of my way," "I'll stay out of yours, deal?" "Awesome!" "Have it your way." "This is gonna be so cool." "Very chic, Savannah." "Hm." "What am I?" "In the 99 cent store?" "What are you doing?" "So staying out of each other's way is off the table, huh?" "Are those my Mom's slippers?" "Yeah, so?" "They don't belong to you." "And your point is?" "Taking things that don't belong to you is wrong." "What are you?" "The Slipper Police?" "No." "Is there anything else that I can help you with, little uptight person?" "We're hungry." "It's meatloaf night." "We have meatloaf every Thursday." "Sounds good." "Let me know when it's ready." "Aunt Cate!" "Aunt Cate!" "Yes?" "I think I started a fire!" "You know, your brother really needs to come up with a new gag." "What?" "It wasn't me." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Don't I know you?" "Yes!" "You're a legend!" "You stole the school mascot when my sister was a senior." "Sorry, it wasn't me." "Besides, I didn't steal the mascot, I just set him free." "Can I ask you a question?" "I'm not really a big fan of questions." "Why don't you ever come see us?" "That's easy." "I don't like it here." "What's not to like?" "Mm, the house, the dog, the 2.5 kids, the whole stagnant prepackaged existence." "We don't have a dog." "And there's only two of us." "You're missing the point." "Just the name of the town alone, Comfort." "Can you think of anything more Skippy doodle propaganda- riddled than that?" "What's with you?" "I miss Christmas." "It's only a couple of days away, I think you'll make it." "I mean, it doesn't feel like Christmas." "It hasn't snowed, Mom and Dad aren't here, we don't even have a Christmas tree." "We always decorate the house as a family." "Don't you ever miss Christmas in Comfort, Aunt Cate?" "Nope." "How come?" "I don't really believe in Christmas." "Not anymore, at least." "Mom said when you left here, you lost your heart." "Well, we can't always be perfect like your mom, can we?" "Only room for one of those in a family." "Where do you think you're going?" "Out." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah." "Is that right?" "Knock yourself out." "That's it?" "No words of wisdom?" "Don't do anything I wouldn't do?" "Is that enough wisdom for ya?" "Don't worry, he'll be fine." "Nothing ever goes down in this town." "Mm." "Here it comes." "Everybody hugs," "Merry Christmas to all." "Everyone lives happily ever after." "Like that ever happens, right?" "Talk to me." "It's Cate." "I can't take it here." "It's like I've died and my past has come back to haunt me." "Aw, that's a great idea for a book." "What's that noise?" "What?" "Oh, it's the janitor." "What're you doing at work this late?" "Granny kicked me out." "It's about time, what did you do?" "Nothing, Granny's got another new boyfriend." "Duffy, I need your help." "You do realize that your face is all over the news." "It's like you're famous, or is it infamous?" "I think it's infamous because it's a bad thing." "Duffy?" "Concentrate." "Get a pen and write these down." "Byron Fitzgerald." "Dashiell Henry, and sometimes Henry Crane." "Those are Clive's aliases." "Put the word out for him and don't forget to check five-star hotels." "The good life is his weakness." "They found me!" "Okay!" "Whatever you do, do not tell them that I am here, okay, understand?" "What do you want me to say?" "I don't know!" "Just make something up!" "Evening, Annie." "Your folks at home?" "Nope, but Aunt Cate is." "She told me not to tell you but it would be wrong to lie." "Don't you think?" "Yes, it would." "Why don't you go run and tell your Aunt Cate that I know she's here?" "Okay?" "Aunt Cate!" "He knows you're here!" "Thank you." "Okay, you win." "Hello, Cate." "You totally had me with that outfit." "And this, I mean, obviously a fake." "It's not a fake, Cate." "I'm the sheriff in Comfort now." "Didn't you hear?" "I thought Savannah was kidding." "Although now that I think of it, that would be pretty out of character for her." "They gave you a gun?" "Yeah, that's usually how it works." "Now I'm all like" "Hilarious." "Um listen, we need to talk." "The fact that we dated for four years means absolutely nothing now?" "Touching that you remember but it was five." "Four and three quarters." "No way." "Yes way." "Okay, you're right." "Anyway, that's irrelevant." "It doesn't have to be." "I'm not 16 anymore." "It's not that easy." "Can't really blame a girl for trying." "I caught him cracking the valve on the hydrant on Olive and Main." "Water caused an ice slick on the road." "It could've caused a nasty fender bender." "Wait, wait, this is about a prank?" "Parker's lucky someone didn't get hurt." "It's not funny." "Of course." "Upstairs!" "Now!" "The Hank Harrison I knew invented the hydrant gag." "Now you're busting kids for it?" "What happened?" "You invented the hydrant gag." "And I grew up, that's what happened." "You certainly did." "Quite nicely, I might add." "Coercing an officer, Cate?" "Careful, I may need to arrest you." "Arrest?" "Um, I think I should go." "Actually..." "Maybe you should go." "Why?" "What's the hurry?" "Let's have lunch sometime." "Coffee!" "A donut maybe." "Okay, you're up to something." "Why do you say that?" "You're doing that thing." "What thing?" "Tucking your hair behind your ear." "You do it every time you're guilty about something." "I do not." "Now you're lying." "You're fidgeting." "Okay." "Call me." "Bye." "Okay." "Nice seeing you again." "Uh-huh, yeah." "Before you kill me, just hear me out." "Fine, you've got 30 seconds." "I feel like I can't live up." "I'm struggling under the weight of modern peer pressure." "Okay, I'm exerting my own social independence." "Too much violence on television?" "Four more seconds." "You said not to do anything you wouldn't do." "The way I hear it, you weren't exactly an either back in the day." "Time's up." "Fine." "You got me on a technicality." "Don't ever put me in that position again." "Do you know what'd happen if Hank had realized...?" "Realized what?" "That you're a delinquent, is what." "Don't let me catch you leaving the house again." "This is gonna be so cool!" "Run!" "I clipped the wrong wire!" "You scared me." "It's a school day." "I don't go to school anymore." "No, but we do." "You need to make sure we get dressed, eat a healthy breakfast, brush our teeth for 1.6 minutes, pack us a balanced lunch and drive us to school." "Mom keeps a typed record of our schedules." "Parker's is highlighted in orange, I'm pink, of course," "Likes, dislikes." "Dietary restrictions." "Our activities." "Feel free to refer to it at any time." "Two words, Annie, Hooky day." "Parker!" "Aunt Cate says we can stay home all day!" "We'll read books, and bake cookies and play..." "There's a word for people like you, Aunt Cate." "What word is that exactly?" "Cranky." "I'm not cranky, I'm just not a morning person." "Take your balanced lunches." "Awesome." "There you go." "Oh, Annie, what time do I pick you up?" "Where'd you put Mom's schedule?" "Cut me a break." "School's out at three but we..." "Okay, enough, thank you very much, bye." "The beauty of this puppy here is how comfortable it is." "Kids fall asleep at the drop of a dime." "My kid actually cries when I take him off of it." "Uh, Billy, that's his, his name, yeah, he's the apple of my eye." "His, um, his mother left us." "It's actually quite a tragic tale." "Say, do you wanna go for coffee?" "There's just something about you that makes me feel kinda vulnerable." "Okay, I'm here Open to Close." "Seven days a week!" "Duffster." "Please tell me you've found Clive." "I actually did a carpool this morning." "Look, I've called everyone I know." "The word's out, what more can I do?" "I dumped every dime I had into setting up that score, Duffy." "I need to find Clive and I need to find the diamond." "Look, you know as well as I do that a guy like Clive Henry doesn't get found unless he wants to be." "I also know that Clive hates hanging onto hot goods." "It makes him anxious." "He'll fence the diamond and when he does, we're gonna be there." "I hate to rain on your parade but you're gonna have to come up with a Plan B:" "you're too hot to come back in the city." "Well, I'm not staying here." "Look, all I'm saying is do what you do best." "Throw together a score, get money, that way, if we don't find Clive, you'll have a little nest egg to get started again with." "I'll see what I can do." "Call me if you find out anything, alright?" "Anything at all." "Yes!" "Dirtbag." "Multiple offending dirtbag." "Good morning, Gary." "Morning." "Anything interesting on there today?" "Ah, the usual." "There was one APB that caught my eye, though." "A jewel heist in the city the other night." "NYPD's casting a wide net." "Is that so?" "Wow, well you keep on top of that, okay?" "Will do, Sheriff." "In the meantime, if we could catch up on the backlogged files, that'd be great." "Or, I could..." "Filing it is, Sheriff." "Thank you, Gary." "Dirtbag." "Hello, 1990." "Hi there, Catie!" "It's me, Holly!" "Holly Bishop." "Holly Barnes, now." "I was on drill team, remember?" "You stole our uniforms out of the locker room on homecoming day." "I did?" "So you're in from the city, huh?" "It's been a long time." "Right, well, here's a little something to welcome you back to Comfort." "So..." "So..." "Well," "I'm President of the neighborhood association's Christmas committee." "Of course you are." "Looks like the Christmas spirit forgot to pay a visit to the Cooper house." "Savannah did tell you she's hosting the Christmas party, didn't she?" "Yeah, of course she did!" "It's in two days." "Don't worry about a thing." "She'll be back." "And, you know, excuse me, it's been really fun but I kinda have to wash my hair." "Oh!" "Okay, see you tomorrow." "Bye-bye." "Everyone!" "Gather round!" "Psst!" "What are you doing?" "Come on." "We're all feeling tense, and I think what we need to do is to come together as a group." "Maybe relax with some Christmas carols." "Come on, everybody, he's right." "A little singing may do us good." "It's "boughs" of holly." "Tell him how it goes!" "Stop it!" "It's Fa la la!" "Not Tra la la la!" "Deck the halls, not deck the "mall."" "You just got it all wrong!" "Now that's entertainment." "Iendedup getting the bicycle and helmet." "My husband'd be furious if he knew how much I spent." "I had to wait in line for five hours to get Britney's doll." "It was the last one." "The man behind me offered me $400 for it!" "Overpriced toys, electronics and bling." "These are a few of their stealable things." "Come in." "Come on, come on." "Come on, come on," "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" "Hello?" "Don't you sound happy." "Hey!" "Did you get a flight out yet?" "No, not yet, not until this storm passes." "So, how's it going?" "Honestly, I don't know how you live here, it's as bad as I remember." "Is it that bad?" "Savannah, I'm sorry, it's okay." "No, it's not okay!" "I can't believe I did this to my kids!" "What, subject them to their awful influence of an aunt?" "That's not what I said." "Tell me something, Savannah." "How many people did you call before you called me?" "What number was I on your list?" "That many, huh?" "Look, could we not get into this?" "I really wanna talk to Annie and Parker and see how they're doing." "Why aren't you at choir with Annie?" "It's 2:45." "They don't get out till 3." "Choir was at 2:00, Cate!" "They got out early, last day before break!" "Didn't you look at my schedule?" "Cate!" "Savannah, you hear me?" "Savannah, you there?" "Cate?" "!" "Ooh!" "I'm late for Christmas choir now!" "Lighten up, it was a mistake." "I gave you the schedule." "Miss Dove." "Principal Grimes." "It's been a long time." "Not nearly long enough." "What's with you and Grimes?" "Oh, you know, the usual." "Hoisted his toupee up a flagpole one year, hid it in the cafeteria mac and cheese another," "I think there was even a toilet involved at one point." "Principal Grimes doesn't wear a toupee." "Not anymore, he doesn't." "Not after the toilet incident anyway." "That's awesome." "Yeah, I know, right?" "I think it's mean." "No, no, trust me, he deserved it." "He was always treating me like I was a bad kid." "It was totally unfair." "You did that stuff, didn't you?" "So?" "So how is that unfair?" "She's a real buzz-kill." "Tell me about it." "You're totally lip-syncing." "Am not." "Are too!" "Snitch!" "Faker." "Is everything alright, Annie?" "Don't do it." "Annie?" "She isn't singing." "Unbelievable." "Well dear, Cate is filling in for your mother." "She hasn't caroled with us for quite a while, so, why don't we give her a chance to find her voice again, shall we?" "Let's take it from the top." "So you'd like a new little dolly for Christmas, is that right?" "Well, I think you've been a very good girl, I bet I can get you that, okay?" "Okay, thank you for coming to visit me." "Ho, ho, ho!" "I think I know this little girl!" "Go!" "And this little boy." "You ready?" "I am." "Peace on earth, halt to global warming, universal health care, and if you don't mind, I'd really appreciate you getting my parents home in time for Christmas." "My Aunt Cate isn't very good at the holiday stuff." "We don't even have a tree up yet, if you can believe it." "Whoa, not a good move, dude." "Oh, Hank, come on, he was just playing." "He was stealing the candy cane, Cate." "You know it and I know it." "Okay." "He's sorry, but really, sugar makes people do crazy things." "You're sorry, right?" "No." "See?" "He's sorry, let's go." "Hold on a second." "There is one question that has been nagging me for years." "I can't wait to hear this." "Does Santa wear boxers or briefs?" "Ho, ho, ho!" "She's a naughty little girl!" "Santa won't be visiting your house this year!" "Meet me back here later." "Well, you certainly haven't changed." "Why thank you." "It wasn't a compliment." "You never were big on compliments." ""You're not prom material, Cate."" "Not what I said, and that's completely unfair, and you know it." "You took Cindy Kirk to the prom." "How am I being unfair?" "You told me you didn't want to go." "I was giving you an out." "I didn't think you'd actually take it." "I can't believe you're mad about this." "I am not the one who packed up and left town the day after graduation and never came back." "Laugh away, great, very nice." "I'm sorry." "It's just that when I imagined this conversation, it didn't involve you in a Santa costume." "But you imagined it?" "Yes." "And I was very composed and I had fantastic hair." "And how did it end?" "With you, on your knees, apologizing." "Me?" "Apologizing?" "What about you?" "Me?" "Yeah." "Hi, Hank." "Hi, Caty." "Am I interrupting something?" "Yes." "No." "Oh, you two." "Just like old times." "Bicker, bicker, kiss, kiss." "Uh, I gotta get going." "My public awaits." "Ho, ho, ho." "So, Savannah and Brian." "Yeah, what about them?" "Are they gonna make it in time for the party?" "It doesn't really look like it." "They're still stuck in the Bahamas." "I figured as much." "The neighborhood association discussed it, and we all agreed, if you'd prefer to cancel we would be totally okay with that." "That would probably be for the best." "Of course, I mean... you?" "Having the whole neighborhood over for a party?" "I'm not really the party type." "Did you just say "the whole neighborhood"?" "All out of their houses at the same time?" "That's what we call a party." "And at this party they would expect what?" "Food, music, and drinks?" "Games are always a hit." "Don't push it." "You know what?" "The party's still on." "Excellent!" "I'll alert the troops." "While you do that, I'll do a little recon." "Are you sure your Mom got your Dad a high-Def plasma screen?" "Excellent choice." "Spoil yourself." "Tell your wife that you want... no, that you need that new set of golf clubs." "She deserves a diamond watch." "She did give you a wonderful child, so the store is right here, on the right." "First store up, we'll just go right there, pick one up." "Okay!" "How are your grandkids, Mrs. Bradley?" "They're doing great, dear." "Still living at the house on Sycamore, the blue house?" "That's right, dear." "Nice seeing you." "You too, Cate." "Bye-bye." "Auntie Claus is coming to town." "There you go." "Water." "Blankey." "Animal." "Night light." "One more thing." "Okay, fine." "You're not very good at this, are you?" "You know what your problem is?" "You told me." "I'm a delinquent." "You keep getting caught." "That's your problem." "You really gotta work on your moves." "Today was an embarrassment." "Here." "See if you can get this." "I mean, you are worse than I thought!" "Here." "Hide it." "Watch and learn... oh!" "Oh!" "Are you okay?" "How'd you do that?" "Simple." "Create a diversion and follow with a single fluid motion." "It is all in the diversion." "You try it." "Ow, my knee!" "Better, huh?" "Where'd you learn to do that?" "From this guy I know." "Sort of a mentor." "Best in the business." "What business is that?" "Sales." "Why?" "What did your mother tell you?" "She didn't tell me anything." "Oh, good." "So anyway, if you could see this guy in action..." "Excuse me, I believe these are your glasses." "Sorry, those aren't mine." "Sure." "Season's Greeting." "Ah!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "I hear you been looking for me." "Cut to the chase, what can I help you with?" "I heard about what happened with Cate and the diamond." "Yeah." "I still want in." "I know you think I'm smalltime, but I can get you top dollar and I've got a very serious buyer waiting in the wings." "I want in the game." "I'm at the Windsor." "I'm taking bids on the morning of the 24th." "You got one shot at this." "Don't disappoint." "Hey!" "What's wrong?" "Parker just stole that candy." "Annie, do you realize how much they charge for that piece of candy?" "Almost a buck." "Know how much it cost to make?" "A dime." "Tops." "I mean, that's a 90 cent profit." "Now that's stealing." "Parker, he's just evening the score." "It's like you read my mind." "What about the candy makers?" "The who?" "The people who make the candy." "They need money." "Don't they?" "For food and clothes?" "And Christmas presents for their kids." "Mom says when you take something that doesn't belong to you, you hurt people inside their hearts." "Your Mom always was a know-it-all." "Candy makers, who ever heard of such a thing?" "Alright." "What are we gonna do?" "Mom's ornaments are still in the box, we don't have a tree, or the lights up, it's gonna be terrible!" "Okay, take a deep breath, in... out." "In." "Out." "Help your brother unpack the groceries." "I'm gonna go pay a visit to Sister Christmas, see if she can help us out." "Here you go." "Parker!" "Holly?" "Holly?" "In here!" "Wow," "I was expecting mistletoe and mince pie and instead I find..." "Nothing." "I like to wait until Christmas Eve to decorate the inside." "Really?" "Okay, fine, I'm having a crappy Christmas." "Is that a crime?" "Well, if it were I'd be doing time." "This is the worst Christmas ever!" "Okay, are you gonna tell me what's going on?" "Mark left me." "There, I said it." "He left me." "And now he's vacationing in Maui with the kids and Yvette." "Who?" "Yvette, the Pilates instructor he left me for in September." "He's moving in with her when he gets back and everyone will know!" "Nobody knows?" "I'm so ashamed." "Wait, why are you ashamed?" "Honestly, I can't believe you married that guy, Mark Barnes, he was always such a meathead." "Holly, I'm sorry." "Listen, these things happen." "I know exactly how you feel." "You do?" "Well, sure." "Just a few days ago, I had a guy take off on me." "Bad breakup, huh?" "Yeah, you could say that." "You know, you've done pretty well for yourself." "Mark's the breadwinner." "Don't do that." "What?" "Give him the credit." "You are a very strong, capable woman." "I am?" "Yes!" "And we women have to take charge of our own lives." "If there's one thing I'm not, it's a victim." "Fashion victim, maybe." "In the interest of sisterhood, I'm just gonna ignore that." "I'm sorry." "It just came out." "You know what you need?" "You need to keep busy." "Preoccupy yourself." "You're right." "Why don't you help me get ready for the Christmas party, not that I need your help or anything but to distract you." "I don't know." "Okay, fine." "We'll play games." "Oh!" "Hey, what are you doing here?" "Well, there wasn't much I could do about world peace and global warming on such short notice, but I thought the least Santa could do was make Annie's Christmas wish for a tree come true." "It's all they had left." "This side's pretty good." "It's great." "Thank you." "There's not much time on the clock," "Holly, since I can't boil water, you're in charge of finger foods." "Right." "Parker, I want you and Hank to trim the tree." "I mean decorate it not burn it down." "Fine." "Annie, write invitations that even Scrooge couldn't refuse, reminding people that the party is still on." "Do you want it in verse or prose?" "English will be fine, thanks." "What are you gonna do?" "Fine!" "I'll string lights." "Okay, ready?" "Ready!" "Oh!" "Everybody ready?" "It's not how Mom does it." "You know what, Annie?" "Your mom is great at a lot of things and your Aunt Cate, she's got a way about her that's pretty cool too." "Let's do this." "One, two, three!" "I love it!" "The disco ball might be a bit much." "I really appreciate what you did today." "It was great hanging out with you again." "Felt like old times." "Yeah, it's that we were decorating trees instead of stealing them." "I secretly had your record expunged of that." "How sweet." "Thank you." "Parker!" "Stop that!" "Aunt Cate!" "I think that's my cue." "Yeah." "Okay." "Good night." "Hello?" "Where've you been?" "I've been calling you all day." "Don't give me a hard time, Duff." "I'm exhausted." "I found Clive!" "Alright, listen closely." "We're in the city on top secret business." "That's all that I can tell you." "What kind of business?" "Like spy-top secret?" "Let's say I'm dealing with the recovery of a family heirloom." "Our family heirloom?" "Is it worth a lot of money?" "Like gold bars and jewels?" "Yes, yes, no." "Yes, yes, no." "That's one too many yes and nos." "I counted." "Can we go check new video games?" "No." "Why?" "Because I said so!" "Oh!" "Well, no one's gonna recognize you in that disguise." "Uh, suburban housewife?" "Is this your friend, Aunt Cate?" "Kids, Duffy." "Duffy, kids." "I'm Annie." "Annie Cooper." "This is my brother Parker." "Hey, man." "Hey, man." "Aunt Cate says New York is the greatest city in the world." "Aunt Cate!" "Can it!" "She said that Comfort is for bottomfeeders." "hat's where we live." "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers?" "You." "Take your sister to the video game aisle." "No messing around." "Uh-uh, that way!" "Alright, where is he?" "You do realize this is a long shot?" "Getting the diamond back?" "I do hope you have a backup plan here." "This is the score I came up with, if we don't find Clive." "Oh." "Alright." "You deliver me this, I'll get you top dollar." "Nice work, by the way." "This is a last resort, Duffy." "The plan is to get the diamond back." "Alright then, let's do it." "You guys, stay here." "I'm gonna go track him down." "Whoa, wait." "You're gonna leave me with them?" "You'll manage." "But..." "What's your full name?" "Duffy Darwin Bromowitz." "How old are you?" "28." "Okay, I'm 32." "Where were you born?" "New Jersey." "Apartment?" "House." "Married?" "Single." "Do you have a roommate?" "My grandmother." "Ooh." "Sometimes it takes a person a while to find themselves." "What about your parents?" "They're divorced." "How do you feel about that?" "You are so predictable." "Do I know you?" "So help me, Clive, if you tell me I look like a soccer mom..." "Don't make a scene, Catherine." "You double-crossed me, how could you?" "Hey!" "I told you to wait in the lobby!" "You!" "I shoulda known." "I can't take it, they're all over the place, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose one." "I'm just not good with babies." "Besides, this one kinda scares me." "Just call me later." "We're not babies!" "Just sit there and be quiet." "Pulling another job, Catherine?" "Something involving small spaces?" "They're not elves, Clive, they're children." "And I'm just here to collect what's mine." "What you took from me." "I'm afraid that isn't possible." "I thought we were friends." "Did I ever tell you the fable about the tortoise and the scorpion?" "I'm really not in the mood to hear one of your stories right now, so, mm." "They too were friends." "One day the friends came upon a river, and the scorpion cried out, "I don't know how to swim."" "The tortoise offered, "I'll carry you but you mustn't sting me."" "The scorpion agreed, so the tortoise carried him across the river." "Know what happened when they reached the other side?" "He stung his friend." "With his last dying breath, the tortoise asked the scorpion why." "Know what the scorpion said?" "You're a jerk?" ""Because it's my nature. "" "It's my nature." "Yours too." "We can't help ourselves." "I've done some bad things in my life." "But I would never ever leave my partner behind to get caught." "It wasn't my intention, just delayed while I made away with the diamond." "I deserve my share." "You're right." "I am?" "But it's not gonna be so easy." "All or nothing." "Agreed?" "Like I have a choice." "Keep your eyes on the prize." "Annie, Parker, watch the middle one." "Don't take your eyes off it for a second." "Well?" "The one on the left." "It's on the right." "Congratulations, Catherine." "Your lesson is completed." "Careless little..." "Don't you dare." "Careful, you don't want me to do something you'll regret." "You are a wanted woman." "Kids, it's time for us to go." "This isn't over." "In the real story, the scorpion stung the turtle halfway across the river, and they both drowned." "The scorpion was his own worst enemy." "So there's a fifty in it for anyone who's willing to pretend this day never happened." "Done." "I'm in." "You okay?" "I'll be fine." "It would've been nice to get the thing back." "Almost enough to make me believe in Christmas again." "Hey, now make sure they're close together." "They're pretty close together." "That looks nice." "Hey!" "Hey." "Where you been?" "Uh, just running errands." "'Cause I was wondering if I could steal you away for a little bit." "Um, well, we have a party to get ready for." "Go, I've got it under control." "Hold out your hand." "Why?" "Just do it." "Close your eyes." "Close your eyes." "What is this?" "You'll see." "Come on." "Parker." "Annie." "Start stringing." "Oh cool!" "Wait right here." "It's prom." "May I have this dance?" "You didn't have to do this." "Yes, I did." "I'm sorry I never took you to prom, Cate." "I know." "I really think you should apologize now." "What?" "Not dying your shoes to match your outfit." "I mean, please!" "Oh!" "You realize you just assaulted an officer." "Ow." "Now that's assaulting an officer." "What'sgoingon here?" "This wasn't authorized!" "Who is that?" "Not authorized?" "Nice." "Now what?" "Now we run." "Come on." "I can't believe it's still there." "I come by once in a while, polish it up." "Right!" "So what?" "You never got married?" "No." "Came close once or twice but it never stuck." "You?" "You know me." "Not really the ball-and-chain type." "I like to keep my options open." "Easy, tiger." "You alright?" "Um... yeah." "I just need to use the restroom." "I had none of your ice cream." "Oh, you had better not." "Where were we?" "Four peanuts for you." "And four peanuts for you." "I'm gonna need more than four nuts." "I'm sorry, but everybody gets four." "Sorry, but I don't remember voting you leader." "But this may be the only food we have for a while." "Lady, you're nuts." "Look what you've done!" "Savannah." "Snap out of it, honey." "I know you like having things just so, but life doesn't work like that." "Not to us, our kids, not even your sister." "It's okay to let go." "It's just so hard." "I know." "Look!" "I think it's over!" "Cleopatra's Eye could fetch up to a million dollars on the open market." "It's a once in a lifetime investment opportunity." "I could give you 375,000." "Cash." "I think we can work with that." "Not so fast." "I want to see the diamond." "Of course." "If you'll excuse me a moment." "You look great." "I look like a mom." "Hm." "There, that's better." "I'm impressed, Cate." "Look at this." "If only your sister could see what you've done here." "She'd be proud." "I don't know about that." "But I do know that I couldn't have done it without you." "True." "But if it weren't for you," "I'd still be polishing silver on Christmas Eve." "Thank you, Cate." "So does this mean that you forgive me for wrecking your homecoming?" "Don't push it." "Hm." "Come on, guys!" "Guests are here!" "Hello." "I think you should know Mark and I are separated." "Mark and I are separated." "I'm single." "You certainly have turned over a new leaf, haven't you, dear?" "Wow." "Very nice." "You pulled it off." "It appears so." "Although I did forget one thing." "What's that?" "I didn't get you a present." "You're here, right?" "Have fun at the party." "Okay, you win." "Come on, you guys." "Come on." "Hello?" "Hey, Cate!" "We got on a flight." "We should be home by Christmas morning." "Wow, that's great." "Don't tell the kids." "I want to surprise them." "You must be relieved." "Getting out of Comfort back to your old life." "Yeah." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Bye." "Oh!" "I'll get these." "It's the only way." "Clockwise pattern, three minutes per house, they won't even miss me." "So much for turning over a new leaf." "Four words." "First word." "Aunt Cate!" "There you are." "It's your Christmas present." "I want you to open it now." "Since you lost your heart, I thought you could use a new one." "Thank you." "You, me..." "Santa and His Elves?" "Yay!" "I think we have a hit on our hands, don't you?" "What's wrong?" "We're out of eggnog." "I'm gonna make a quick run to the store." "Don't be silly, there's plenty of eggnog." "Holly, if I needed you to watch the kids until Savannah comes back, no questions, no lectures, would you do that for me?" "Yes or no?" "Of course I can." "Thanks." "Where's Aunt Cate?" "I need to talk to her about something." "She's gone, Parker." "Gone?" "What do you mean?" "She had to go." "But don't worry," "I'll be here until your mom gets back." "It's okay." "No!" "It's not okay." "Take me with you!" "Parker." "I could never figure out what it was exactly why I felt so different." "But now I know what it is." "I'm like you." "Parker, you're not like me." "You're a good kid." "Then why are you leaving like this?" "I'm afraid one day you're gonna realize that there's not a lot to like about me." "Remember I told you I had a friend that showed me the ropes?" "Yeah." "Some of those things he taught me, they weren't so good." "I don't wanna make the same mistake with you." "And I'll deny it if ever you tell her I said this but, but your mom is pretty amazing." "You can talk to her." "But you said she was annoying." "Well, she's that too." "But sisters annoy each other." "The truth is, her shoes always felt too big to fill so I stopped trying." "But I like who you are." "You're cool." "Don't forget incredibly stylish." "You're gonna thank me for this one day." "Wait." "You forgot this." "I figured you might need it, so you can believe in Christmas again." "Where were you when I was 12." "You just going to let her go?" "I have to say, this is really honorable." "Deciding to split the diamond with Cate." "Taken in by the holiday spirit?" "Holiday spirit, right." "She's become so famous." "Uh, "infamous," I think." "Whatever." "Just a matter of time till the police find her and I want to offer her some incentive so she won't take me down with her." "Boy, someone in your life must have really hurt you." "Great, just great." "So what?" "No goodbye?" "Time to hit the road." "Places to go, people to see, you know how it is." "Actually, no, I don't." "But you certainly seem to be an expert at it." "Wait just a minute." "I'm not gonna take the blame for this." "I may never have been able to measure up to my perfect big sister, but at least, with you, I know I was enough." "Then you join the football team, become mister popular and what do you know," "I'm not good enough for you either." "Are you finished?" "You dumped me!" "Now I'm finished." "Good." "The pranks, the sneaking out, I only did that to impress you." "Alright?" "Yes, I wanted to play football, I wanted to go to prom," "I'm not gonna apologize for that." "But don't leave again, Cate." "Hank, it's complicated." "Yeah." "I figured." "Making a run to leave without trying, right?" "Take care of yourself." "Hello." "Hello, Catherine." "What do you want, Clive?" "I just wanted to give you a ring and tell you what a lovely party you've pulled together." "Stay away from my family." "If you so much as hurt one hair on their head..." "There's no need for dramatics." "I'm only here for my diamond." "I don't have your diamond, Clive." "And when I say "your" diamond, I use that term very loosely." "Let's not play games, I know you have it." "Last time I saw the diamond was the last time I saw you." "Only a handful of people can pick a pocket well enough to pull one over on me." "And you are one of them." "I hate to tell you, I didn't pick your pocket." "I don't have the diamond." "Wait." "We'll be here all week." "Any luck?" "Oh, I'm sorry, Hank." "Who's that guy?" "Says he's a friend of Cate's." ""Thick as thieves" were his exact words." "Actually, I think he's the ex." "Ex?" "Cate told me she went through a bad breakup a few days before she got here." "I think it's him." "Clive." "Told you." "I don't buy it." "I cannot believe you showed up like this." "Be careful not to offend me." "It's not my face they're looking for." "And it would be all too easy to lead them here." "Quite the story." "Hometown girl made bad." "Make your family so proud." "How did you even find me?" "Your accomplice is an amateur." "Oh, nice ring!" "I was thinking of getting rid of it." "In fact, there's a whole box of stuff my husband gave me that I'd be happy to never see again." "You and I are gonna do just fine together." "Clock's ticking." "Mrs Bradley says you and the sheriff go way back." "I'm sure he'd be heartbroken to hear what you amounted to." "And the children." "Watching Auntie hauled off in handcuffs." "Boo-hoo." "You're a loser." "Stop that!" "You wouldn't want that, would you?" "You wouldn't." "Oh, but I would." "Now, where's my diamond?" "Hank!" "Hank!" "I don't think Aunt Cate likes him very much." "Who?" "That man." "Clive." "That's none of my business, Annie." "I think it is." "He's not nice." "Why?" "What do you know?" "Unfortunately, at this point, I'm unable to flip on a partner." "However, I took the liberty of writing down a few things." "Mainly his aliases." "Thank you, Annie." "You have no leverage." "Give me the diamond or I turn you in." "Fine, turn me in." "You'll never see the diamond again." "It'll be locked up in an evidence locker faster than you can blink." "The deal is we take the diamond back to the city," "Duffy sells it, we split it fifty fifty and we go our separate ways." "But first I have to return this stuff before Christmas morning." "I say we take it, leave now and make a clean getaway." "I have to make this right for my family or no deal." "Would you like me to hold the diamond while you work?" "I'm not letting you or the diamond out of my sight again." "I'm coming with you." "Where do you think you're going?" "Gettin' in the car." "Oh no, I'm in the driver's seat this time." "Did you check the list?" "Twice." "Uh-huh." "Right." "What are you doing?" "Oh, we need all the cover we can get." "Britney." "Britney." "Close enough." "That was a great party." "I have so much cleaning up to do." "Could you grab that, please?" "Sure." "Thank you." "Oh!" "Don't forget that there." "Thank you!" "Oh, gosh!" "That carpet there, we're gonna have to get that cleaned tomorrow." "Oh, and and that one too." "Sure." "You have a stain on your shirt." "Oh, what's this?" "Mistletoe." "You know what this is all about." "Aw, damn!" "Oh, geez." "Sheriff, we really need to talk." "Um, not right now, okay Gary?" "Thank you, Annie." "It's her, isn't it?" "We still make a pretty good team, you and I." "Perhaps we should reconsider going our separate ways." "I'm done with all that." "You'll never be done." "We can't change who we are." "I told you." "We're bad by nature." "Just a tiny bauble." "They'll hardly miss it at all." "Not fine." "I'll just toss it back down the chimney on the way out of town." "This would be a bad development." "Clive Henry?" "Hey, Sheriff, how about a hand here?" "What?" "Cate!" "Cate?" "You know the scorpion thing?" "Turns out it was just a fable." "Being bad isn't in my nature." "Hank." "I am really not in the market for an explanation now, Cate." "Give me your hands." "Where's the stone?" "What are you doing?" "I'll say that Clive had the diamond on him and that you were long gone." "You can't do that." "He'll tell everybody that you let me go." "And who do you think they're gonna believe?" "Me or a thief." "Go on, you're free to go." "What if I don't want to leave?" "Then you stay with me and you face the consequences." "The house is still standing." "That's a good sign." "I have a feeling that something isn't right." "Mom!" "Dad!" "Hi!" "Hey, buddy." "Merry Christmas!" "Hey, welcome back!" "You look great." "Got a tan." "Merry Christmas." "Hank!" "Merry Christmas." "Who are you?" "Duffy." "It's a long story." "Ohh!" "I need to say something to you." "He told you, didn't he?" "I know that I let you down and embarrassed you, I'm sorry." "Actually, Cate, I wanted to answer your question." "About where you were on my list." "As of today, you're right at the top." "Thanks for looking after my children." "Thanks for letting me." "Lookeverybody!" "It's finally snowing!" "Merry Christmas everyone!" "We should get going." "Promised NYPD to have you there by 2:00." "Alright, you two!" "Come here!" "Here's the deal." "You'll probably not gonna be seeing me for, oh, three to six years, but after that," "I promise I will never miss a Christmas in Comfort again, okay?" "Come here." "I love you, beautiful girl." "You stay good." "Oh, gross." "I made brownies for you." "A little nail file never hurt either, if you get my drift." "It was Duffy's idea." "Bye." "What did you say to my sister?" "Nothing, really." "People don't usually thank you for involving their offspring in a felony offense, especially not Savannah." "I just told her the truth." "You could've left but you didn't." "You came back and did the right thing." "It goes a long way in my book." "And you know, as for the stone, I think I have an idea." "Come on." "Voila." "There's always a way around the system, gentlemen." "I would increase the infrared around the windows and the air conditioning vents." "Any entry points are a risk." "Mm." "What would I do without you, Cate." "I will say, Sheriff, returning the stone, dropping the charges, hiring Cate, quite ingenious." "If it weren't for you, I never would have found this gem." "We should get going." "Do we have to?" "It was part of the deal." "Oh." "SoafterJackstolethe hen that laid the golden eggs, he went back up the beanstalk to get more loot." "Well, this time the giant woke up and chased him." "Well, Jack barely escaped." "Then he chopped down the beanstalk so he would never be tempted again and him and his mother lived happily ever after." "So you see, you don't have to go chasing up some beanstalk." "The things that are most important are right here at home." "Here you go." "Ho, ho, ho." "Are you ready to talk to Santa?" "Lunch in 20, Sheriff." "You left out a whole bunch of stuff." "In the real story, Jack also took a bag of gold coins and a magical singing harp." "What are you?" "The fairy tale police?" "Come here." "Ooh!" "Alright, one for you and one for you." "Go!" "Everybody has." "Merry Christmas to all." "And they lived happily ever after." "Okay, so I was wrong." "Sometimes it does happen." "Subtitles by LeapinLar"