"Previously on "Being Erica":" " Woo!" " Ow!" "Oh, Ethan's so conservative." "He likes things familiar." "Yeah." "I try to step outside of the box a little, it's like you keep trying to push me in, and I think that we should break up." "Okay..." "Well, that was awesome brainstorming." "Yeah." "Awesome." "I think you're gorgeous..." "And original, and brave, and I wanna be with you." "I just wanted you to make your own choices and I just wanted to stop being so controlling." "So you did the most controlling thing you've ever done;" "You took away my free will." "Adam broke up with me." "Hey, beautiful." "Adam?" "I thought that you were mad at me?" "Do I look mad?" "No." "But I thought that you didn't wanna be with me." "Who wouldn't want to be with you, Erica?" "Kai." "Ethan." "We're all here for you, Erica." "Have you ever woken up from a dream and felt unsettled, and embarrassed, and like that dream was trying to tell you something you didn't wanna know..." "So that you pushed the thoughts it conjured deep down so you wouldn't have to see, or think, or know that those thoughts exist at all?" "♪" "Being Erica 04x07 "Being Ethan" Original air date:" "November 7, 2011." "♪ It's clearer inside of me ♪" "♪ who I will always be ♪" "♪ open me up to my heart. ♪" "♪ Feels like I'm seeing in the dark ♪" "♪ waking me up to my life ♪" "♪ to do it all over... ♪" "♪ again and again, until the end. ♪" "♪ The sum of my dreams ♪" "♪ and everything I ever wanted to be. ♪" "♪" "Hey, sexy!" "♪ I could stick around, get along with you. ♪" "♪ Hello!" "O-o-o-o... ♪" "♪ It doesn't really mean that I'm into you. ♪" "♪ Hello!" "O-o-o-o... ♪" "♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "She's here!" "Oh!" "Uh... okay, guys, just act normally." " Morning." " Uh, wow!" "Erica, that is some dress." "Oh!" "Thank you." "Brent, what is that?" "Why is it vibrating?" "Trust me, nothing rubs away tension faster than Brent's little helper." "Okay, we just thought you might be a little blue today." "But, I mean, you look kinda great." "You know what?" "I am..." "I am great." "Does this mean you and Adam patched things up?" " Rachel!" " No." "You know what, you guys?" "I appreciate all of this." "But the way I see it," "I don't wanna be with someone if they don't wanna be with me, so..." "Onward." "Right?" "Right." "And maybe it's for the best." "Maybe." "My last breakup, I mourned for a day and a week later I met Andre." "That's your boyfriend, Rachel?" "Ooh, he's cute." "So don't despair!" "Your next love may be waiting just around the corner." "Oh, you guys, you know what?" "While I appreciate the pep talks, and the TLC, and the cupcakes," "I'm fine." "Really." "Denial's not just a river in Egypt." "Give it a try." "Just, uh..." "All you've had to eat for the past 24 hours is Melba toast." "You're wasting away, here." "I have had dreams, David, of the four of us vacationing together, raising our children together." "How are Samuel and Nonni gonna fall in love now?" "Who?" "Samuel, their Irish Jewish son, and Nonni, the beautiful daughter that we adopted from Tanzania." "Okay, enough!" "Erica and Adam broke up." "It happens all the time." "Erica and Adam broke up?" "Oh!" "I can't talk about it." "All weekend, this is what I've had to put up with." "It's like Adam dumped him." "Wait." "Adam did the dumping?" "Yeah." "David!" "I need you!" "Okay, see if you can decipher this one:" "SAMAGAL because my PAW and IBN, yo." "Okay..." ""Stop annoying me and get a life"" "because my "parents are watching"" "and "I'm buck naked, yo."" "You know what?" "I think that I'm gonna go out and grab lunch today." "Oh yeah, you take as long as you need, chicken!" "BRB." "Um..." "You know, can we..." " We should-- - oh!" "I mean, it's just, I..." "Go ahead, go ahead." "Just..." "Well, can we just talk about what happened the other night?" "Yeah." "I haven't been able to think about anything else." "It shouldn't have happened, and it will not happen again." "Exactly." "That's exactly what I was thinking too." "I'm so sorry if I crossed any lines..." "No." "No, no, no." "It's fine." "I'm just glad we talked about it." "I'm glad that we cleared the air, so..." "Goblins has no specials today because Ivan's too upset or something." "So it's the usual menu." "Great." "Thanks." "Goblins' regular menu-- bring it on." "Ethan?" "!" "Erica." "Oh my gosh." "Wow!" " How are you?" " Good." "How are you?" "Great!" "Good." "Yeah." "You're, uh, not at work?" "It's summertime;" "School's closed." "Right." "Of course." "Sorry, I just can't keep up the small talk." "It's just..." "It's so good to see you." "You too." "Are you just grabbing lunch?" "Yeah." "Uh, Julianne and mine, our..." "Our publishing company is nearby." "So it all worked out." "That's great." "Yeah." "I just feel like we're in the middle of traffic here." "Yeah, if you have to go..." "No, I don't." "If you want, you can join me for lunch and we can catch up?" "Yeah." "I'd love to." "Great!" "Good." "We've got Jay Manuel's book coming out." "It's called "A Tattered Rose."" "And we hired a new assistant, and..." "Brent's working for us." "Seriously?" "I thought you hated him." "Yeah, well..." "Things change." "Yes, they do." "So what about you?" "I mean, we've been talking about me." "How have you been?" "Good." "Really?" "Yeah." "Ethan..." "When you've known someone as long as I've known you, you can tell when they're not telling the truth." "Thank you." "You're right." "Things aren't that good, actually." "I got uh..." "Got dumped 'bout a month ago." "Really?" "'Cause I just..." "I mean, I just got dumped last week." "Wow!" "That's really weird that we both just..." "I know." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Was..." "Was it a hard breakup?" "Terrible." "She was great." "She is great." " What's her name?" " Nataline." "We'd been dating for about a year." "We met not long after you and I... uh..." "Anyway..." "You look like you're handling it better than I am and it just happened." "Well, I must be a great actress then, because..." "You know what?" "Let's go dancing." " What?" " Yeah, tonight." "I don't know about you, but I don't wanna sit around feeling miserable." "I would rather go out and do shooters and dance my ass off until the sun comes up." "Erica, I don't know." "I mean, it's..." "I get it." "We haven't talked in almost two years and... you probably spent a lot of that time hating my guts." "I never hated you." "In fact," "I've been thinking of calling you." "I've actually... missed you." "I missed you too, Ethan." "Okay." "Dancing it is." "Yeow!" "♪" "Come on, let's get a drink." "Thank you." "All right." "To being dumped!" "To being dumped." "Hoo!" "Woo!" "So, what happened there?" "The short version?" "We wanted different things." "And what did she want?" "To move to Ethiopia." "Really?" "Why?" "Nat works for Oxfam as a program coordinator." "Three months ago, she got this opportunity to move to Ethiopia." "She wanted me to take a year off, give up my job, give up my apartment, eat into my savings." "She said that this was an opportunity of a lifetime." "I told her she was being impulsive." "And it became a huge fight about how I was trying to hold her back, and Ethiopia became the deal-breaker." "Wow." "Yeah." "So..." "She's leaving next week and..." "You know, thinking about it, just..." "Let's have another shot." "Thank you." "To... regrets." "Regrets!" "Ugh!" "Agh!" "That... that..." "was crazy." "Which part?" "I could see what he was talking about..." "Ethan-- when he was telling the story, it was just like a..." "It was like a movie playing inside my head, and he even used the word "regret."" "Hmm?" "Wow." "♪ I feel like a doctor!" "♪" "I can't wait to dig into this." "All right, Doctor Erica, then please, the floor is yours." "Okay." "So here's my theory:" "Ethan, he..." "Well, he keeps going for the wrong women." "First there was Claire, then me, and then Nataline... women who are risk-takers, who are extroverts." "Women who do not want what Ethan wants." "What does Ethan want?" "Well, Ethan, he wants a stable, predictable, quiet life, and he needs a woman who wants those same things." "Mm." "Ah." "So you're a doctor / matchmaker then?" "Well, if he keeps getting drawn to the same women, then maybe he needs a matchmaker just to-- ooh!" "You know, steer him in the right direction." "Okay." "There was one girl that I always wanted to set him up with." "Oh?" "Her name was Shauna Reycraft and she was in my masters program." "And the first time I met her" "I thought, "This is a female version of Ethan."" "They were so similar." "They had the same style and the same interests, the same views." "I mean, it was everything." "She would have been perfect for him." "Would she?" "Well, then let's find out, shall we?" "Mm." "You drive me crazy." "Oh!" "Wait, wait, wait." "Anis, we can't..." "Anis?" "My name is Emmett." "I mean, Emmett, we can't do this." "Oh." "Oh, I get it." "I get it." "Your garden is in bloom?" "Oh my God, no!" "That's not what this is about!" "Um, I..." "No, no, no." "I mean, it's cool." "It's a beautiful, natural, glorious process." "And honestly, Moon blood turns me on." "Ew!" "No, I didn't mean to freak you out, it's just that..." "Say no more." "Goddess, your body is your temple, and if the gates of the temple are closed?" "I completely understand." "Oh, thank you." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..." "Now, I'll go rustle us up some breakfast." "But first, I'm gonna go practice the ancient art of onanism." "There's no love like self love." "How does an egg white scramble sound?" "Wait!" "Why..." "Why don't you skip the onanism, and we'll just go straight to breakfast." "Oh, your temple may be closed for business, but my libido is never on holiday." "Erica's house of onanism." "Erica?" "What?" "Just a bad joke." "Hey, Ethan, what's up?" "Can you meet up?" "Uh, yeah, sure." "What's going on?" "Claire mailed me a..." "Well, you kind've need to see it for yourself." "Okay, I'll be right over." "Usual spot." "Okay." "Okay, so, wait." "What does "boeuf" mean?" "Beef?" "Yes." "But, in this case, it's French for boring." "So, wait." "She... drew this and then mailed it to you?" "This picture's Claire's way of telling me that we're over;" "That she doesn't wanna try and work things out." "Here, let's sit down." "You need to forget about Claire." "I mean, this is just..." "It's mean." "And kinda weird." "I don't know." "Maybe I need to go to Montreal and try to talk things out in person." "No, Ethan, you need to take a break from Claire." "What?" "You know, maybe it's time to meet someone new." "You know, someone more like you." "Someone that you have stuff in common with." "Maybe it'll even happen today?" "What is that look on your face?" "What look?" "There's no look." "Okay, come to my house tonight and we'll hang." "We'll listen to Savage Garden and..." "Busta Rhymes." "Maybe I'll invite a friend." "This is a setup." "This... hey!" "This is an opportunity, okay?" "So bring an open mind." " Okay." " Doctor's orders." "All right, I'll be there." "Don't!" " Don't!" " It's a hard enough day." "Oh, poor you." "It'll be fun." "I'm glad you could make it." "Welcome." "Wow, Erica, I love your apartment." "Yellow is a bold choice, but it really works in here." "Um..." "Thank you." "Shaun" " Oh!" " Hey!" " Hey." "You made it!" "She's here." "Peace, brother." "Ethan, this is my good friend, Shauna." "Shauna, this is the amazing Ethan." "Nice to finally meet you." "You too." "So, what kind of debauchery are we gonna get into tonight?" "There's the "Take back the night" march." "How about..." "A game of Pictionary!" "It uses both the left and right sides of your brain." "How many games can you say do that, huh?" "Oh, great!" "We can play a game." "Why not?" "I'll get us some drinks." "Beers okay?" "I'm easy." "Goddess..." "Tell me, why are we skipping "Take back the night" march for Pictionary?" "Because we're helping Ethan." "Well, I'm in teacher's college..." "Look, they're perfect for each other." "Right?" "Perfectly boring." "Ooh!" "Hey, I like a challenge." "You know, I pride myself on being able to have fun..." " Yeah." " Whenever, wherever." "Hey!" "Friends, uh..." "Riddle me this:" "Um..." "Where's the coolest place to play Pictionary?" "Answer:" "The rooftop." "Yes!" "Oh wow!" "Does this apartment come with a rooftop patio, too?" "Well, I mean, not exactly." "But it's a big enough, so it's safe." "Here you go." "Yeah, I, uh..." "I don't know." "Do you know how many roofers die of falls every year?" "And being on the roof is their job." "Oh..." "Oh..." "Can I get you something to eat?" "Ooh!" "I got something." "Snacks, or...?" "Ooh!" "Amazing!" "Actually, is there..." "are there nuts in there?" "Nuts?" "Um..." "Amongst other things." "But don't worry, goddess, 'cause it's all natural." "So is dying from anaphylactic shock, so I'm..." "I'm gonna pass." "But maybe our guests would like some?" "I know that'd be a good idea, because, um, these brownies, my friends," "will blow your mind." "I say we have two teams." "Emmett and I will take you two on." " Done." " Okay." "Yeah?" "Mm!" "These are awesome!" "Ready, set, do it!" "It's... it's a..." "It's..." "It's a carrot!" "It's not a carrot 'cause it has legs." "It's a... a bee?" "Is it a bee?" "Oh my gosh." "Are you drawing what I think you're drawing?" "Gimme the card." "How, exactly, is that a visual depiction of a "front yard"?" "That's his front and it's about a yard long." "That is so inappropriate." "Are you okay?" "Oh!" "Oh, it's okay." "You okay, honey?" "I just feel a little peckish." "I think I'm gonna have, um, another brownie before the pizza arrives." " Help yourself." " Ethan?" "Uh, no." "Thanks." "Look, she's um..." "she's great, right?" "Yeah." "Sure." "I guess." "Uh, you know, it's really stuffy in here." "Can I open a window?" "Sure!" "I really need to get some air." "Pizza's here!" "Pizza, pizza, pizza!" "Okay..." "Okay, tiger." "Did someone say triple cheese and mushroom?" "Here you go." "Okay." "I um..." "Thank you." "Please call again." "I'm just gonna..." "This isn't working." "Shauna and Ethan, they have zero chemistry." "I mean, Ethan, he is not into her at all." "No!" "Really?" "Shocker!" "Excuse me?" "Erica, did you actually think that setting up Ethan with his twin was going to work?" "That's a little naive, don't you think?" "Okay, well, thank you for telling me now." ""Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."" "Oscar Wilde." "Okay, so I'm an idiot, and I'm the worst doctor-in-training ever, and we should just cut our losses while we're ahead, and just end the session." "Yeah, I would, but then you'd miss all the excitement." "What excitement?" "Hey!" "What excit..." "It's like I can taste each and every spice." "I've never eaten pizza like this before." "I have never eaten pizza like this before." "Emmett." "What is all this?" "Hmm?" "This?" "This is your friends getting in touch with their inner selves, goddess." "There it is again." "The surge." "I can feel it..." "surging." "Hmm." "Do you see what I mean?" "Oh, wow!" "Emmett, what did you put in the brownies, besides nuts?" "You wanted your friends to have fun." "They needed to loosen up a little." "Yeah, and..." "Magic mushrooms." "Emmett!" "Wait a minute, where's... where..." "Where is Ethan?" "Goddess!" "Ethan?" "Ethan!" "Claire thinks I'm boring?" "Guess what?" "Screw her!" "I'm king of the world!" "Wooo!" "Oh!" "Ethan!" "Ethan?" "Ethan, you need to..." "You need to come down from there, okay?" "Okay?" "Erica, look at the city!" "The CN Tower, it's like a rocket ship." "Emmett!" "And look, wait." "There's another one right there!" "Okay, okay... oh!" "Em-- whoa, whoa,w hoa." "Ethan?" "You guys?" "You need to come down now, okay?" "Look, we can look at the sky from down here." "You think I'm boring?" "'Cause maybe I am;" "Maybe Claire's right." "No, Ethan, no, you're not." "I wanna be like you guys." "You're a warrior!" "Wooo!" "Wooo!" "Come here!" "Hey!" "Oh!" "Are you okay?" "Good!" "Good." "Everything's fine." "Oh!" "Whoa... ungh!" "Oh my God!" "I have to get down from here." "I have to go!" "Okay, Emmett, go and deal with her." "Go and deal with her." "You..." "You think I'm like Shauna:" "Boring and conservative, and pathetic." "That's why you tried to set me up with her, isn't it?" "Hey, Ethan, you don't have to think about that right now, 'kay?" "You're just..." "A little bit high." "Do you wanna go downstairs?" "How long do you think this is gonna last?" "Oh, just a little bit longer." "Ooh." "Ooh." "Wow!" "Was that real or am I still high?" "No, real." " I saw it, too." " Beautiful." "We've been up here for hours." "You must be exhausted." "Oh, I'm..." "I'm fine." "Don't worry about me." "Sorry again about earlier." "Oh please, Ethan." "You were high." "You weren't really thinking straight." "I don't know." "I don't think it was 100 percent the mushrooms talking." "No?" "I know you're not a big fan of Claire, but you two actually have a lot in common." "You don't worry, you don't over-think things." " You, you just..." " Go for it." "Yeah." "You know, sometimes I wish I could just go for it." "But it's not really me." "Shauna was really nice and hot, but she's not my type." "Thanks for trying though." "♪ And you can't fight the tears that are comin' ♪" " Ethan?" " Hmm?" "Who is your type?" "Claire." "She's crazy and out there, and she just says whatever she thinks all the time." "I guess I like that." "You need that." "Yeah." "Kinda do." "Even though she drives me nuts sometimes." "She also brings me outta my shell." "Well, you were certainly out of your shell tonight." "Oh, it terrified me." "Well, I guess we'd better head down." "I think I'm almost back to normal." "Yeah?" "All things considered, tonight was a lot of fun." "So, thank you." "You're... welcome?" "Okay, let's go." "Erica!" "Do you want anymore shooters or not?" "Um, no, I'm okay." "I'm okay, thanks." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "All right." "Let's dance." "Okay." "Okay, so we start with the foreword by someone funny, pop-culty..." "Follow by an intro page... something with a great font, design, and covered with abbreevees." "Can I offer anyone a latte?" "Oh, Rachel, what're you still doing here?" "I don't leave 'til my boss leaves." "Well, it's late, anand we don't pay you enough to work overtime." "So go home, get some shut-eye." "Alrighty then." "Don't work too hard." "Uh, okay, um..." "Back to the intro page..." "You okay?" "Yes, yes, I'm just..." "I'm just tired." "Ugh!" "I used to be able to pull all-nighters, no problemo." "But these days it's a little tougher." "Getting old is no fun." "You're not getting old, Jules." "Oh yeah?" "Well, tell that to the crow's feet and bags under my eyes." "What're you talking about?" "You don't have crow's feet and the only bag I see is that to-die-for tote." "Mmm." "Well, you're very nice, but you're just not looking hard enough." "I'm looking plenty hard." "You are so beautiful." "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪" "♪ ...for the time ♪" "♪ and we feel the stars as they start to shine ♪" "♪ for the night... ♪" "So you having fun?" "Yes!" "I am so glad that we did this." "Me too." "♪ Reachin' ♪" "♪ to the sky above ♪" "♪ higher!" "♪" "♪ Like you can't get enough ♪" "Is that...?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that?" "Sorry." "Nothing." "I thought I saw someone that looked a lot like Nat from the side, but it wasn't her." "You really miss her, huh?" "You want her back?" "'Course I want her back." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Yeah?" "What are you doing?" "Okay, so you call her, you go to her, and you fix it." "No, Erica, I can't do that." "Why not?" "Ethan, I mean, what do you have to lose?" "The worst she can say is no, and you're no worse off than you are now." "Huh?" "You know what?" "I think we should go." "It's late and I'm tired." "What?" "!" "Two seconds ago, you said you were having a great time." "Yeah, still." "I'm gonna go, all right?" " I-I... sorry." " Ethan?" "Wait, wait, wait, hey." "Why do you do that?" "Do what?" "You just change the subject;" "You avoid the problem." "You ignore what it is that you really want." "It doesn't get you anywhere." "I mean, obviously you are in love this woman, so why are you letting the relationship die over a trip?" "!" "Why're you attacking me?" "Why are you saying one thing, when clearly you want something else?" "You know what?" "I'm going." "Goodbye, Erica." "No, Ethan, you know why you can't make a relationship work?" "Because you going after women like Claire, like Nataline, me, over and over again and you set yourself up to be pulled and prodded outside of your little safety bubble." "And as soon as that starts to happen, as soon as we start to do the thing that drew you to us in the first place, you... you punish us." "Like you did to Nataline, and like you're doing to me right now." "Because you're an expert at making retitionships work." "Right." "♪" "♪" "♪" "Ugh..." "Hey." "Hey." "Can I come in?" "I've been walking around for hours thinking about how..." "How familiar this all feels." "It's a problem." "You were right;" "I pushed Nataline away because I wouldn't let her... be her." "Look, why do you do that?" "Hmm?" "Why did I do it with you?" "I mean..." "Everything seemed fine until you wanted to take a huge risk and open up your own company, and I held you back." "But why?" "I mean, Ethan, what is it that happens to you?" "I guess I get scared." "I think of the obstacles, the practicalities." "I always find a reason to say no." "I guess that's me;" "That's just who I am." "No, it's not, it's..." "It's not really you, Ethan." "I mean, deep down inside, there is a guy who wants to be brave." "Who wants to, you know, go out and do crazy things, and just go for it." "And then there's this other part of you... the scared part... that is always screwing everything up." "So what do I do?" "Tell that part of myself to... shut up?" "Mmm... basically." "Yeah." "And just recognize it for what it is, and think about what it is that you have to lose:" "An apartment, a job, or the woman that you're in love with." "Ethan!" "What're you doing here?" "I, I had to see you." "I made a huge mistake." "And I know I got scared, but, in my heart," "I know that I belong with you." "Wow." " Morning." " Morning." "Okay, we're alone." "You don't have to act like last night didn't happen." "I am so sorry, Jules." "That was a mistake of epic proportions." "Okay, would you stop doing that?" "No, seriously." "Would you stop saying, "Oh no, we can't!"" "You know, "We shouldn't!"" "I mean, do you wanna be with me or not?" "Julianne..." "I've wanted you since the first day I met you." "Oh my God." "Oh my..." "Well, you never said anything." "What was I supposed to say?" "How would I have said it?" "You were my boss, my..." "My bestie." "It was torture." "Brent, I had no idea." "It's not like I've exactly been putting it out there." "If anything, the past couple of years," "I've been giving off more of a "hate"" "than a "love" vibe." "Well, that's why you went after me so insanely;" "Because I hurt you." "Because you hurt me, but..." "Not that it's an excuse, because it's not..." "No, no, that's not why I'm bringing it up." "It's just..." "I mean, it explains a lot of things." "Now it's my turn." "I have loved you too, as a friend, for years." "It's only recently that it's become more than that." "A lot more." "Good morning, 50/50!" "Okay." "You don't have to be psychic to see what's going on between the two of you." "Um, overactive imagination much?" "Um, fact." "Erica's not always gonna be as distracted as she's been the last couple of days, so if you want to keep your affair covert, you might wanna consider getting a room." "Ivan." "Good morning." "50/50 rent cheque." "Oh, my brave little sparrow... who's dressed more like a bird of paradise." " Va-voom." " Oh, thank you." "What?" "Uh..." "Adam dropped by this morning, and he asked me to give this to you." "He brought this to you?" "I just..." "I wanted to smack him so bad, but I opted for the freezing cold shoulder instead." "You know what?" "Forget about Adam." "What can I do for you?" "A latte?" "One of my patented heart-mending elixirs?" "You name it, it's on the house." "Chocolate croissant?" "Chocolate." "Thanks, you guys, you're great, but I'm fine." "Hang in there." "Time heals." "Kai, hey." "Hey." "How are you?" "Uh, um..." "I'm great." "You?" "I'm all right." "Erica, I just want to tell ya" "I think that Adam's an idiot for letting you go." "Seriously." "Anyway, I know it's none of my business." "Hi." "Hello, Erica." "So..." "Ethan is doing good." "He's going to Ethiopia." "Mm." "Yup." "You handled that very well, in the end." "Well, I mean, it took me a while." "I'm such an idiot." "I mean, trying to set him up back in the past." "I mean, what was I thinking?" "Mm." "That's how it goes." "Sometimes you need the journey in order to see what was right in front of you the whole time." "Ethan was being inauthentic." "Right?" "That was the point." "You figured that out in the end, and well, that's all that matters." "Well, it was really hard to figure out." "Ethan, he hides who he really is, who he really wants to be so well." "Mm." "We all do that, Erica;" "That's a way that we protect ourselves." "Right?" "You know, we push down what we truly want and the more threatened that we feel, the more that that comes out." "Hmm." "Which, um..." "Well, which brings us to you." "Me?" "Let's talk about you, Erica." "About what you've been doing since your break-up with Adam." "Really?" "What I've been doing?" "Well..." "Well, the clothes that you've been wearing, for instance." "Oh." "Well, you know, I felt like dressing up." "Why?" "To feel good." "To feel good..." "in what way?" "I don't know." "You know, you're feeling blue, you put on a pretty dress." "It's really not more complicated than that." "And has putting on a pretty dress and dancing at the club, and being looked at and being wanted by men, has that made you feel better?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "There's a contract that exists between men and women, Erica;" "That we don't talk about certain things." "But, of course, that doesn't mean that they aren't happening." "If a man desires you, what does that do for you?" "I mean, how does that make things better?" "Adam rejected you and you're not dealing with that." "Instead, you're uh..." "well, you're doing this, and I just think that it's important to understand why that it is." "Don't you?" "You know what?" "I really don't need this right now." "Seriously." "Erica..." "Okay, so Adam doesn't wanna be with me." "It's, it's a fact, and yes, it's really painful." "But I don't think that I need to dig around and find out why it upsets me." "I think that that is pretty obvious." "Okay." "So what are you gonna do about it?" "Well..." "I'm gonna find someone that does wanna be with me." "In fact, I don't have to look that hard because he's right out there." "So if you're looking for something that I've been hiding, or denying, maybe it's that I want Kai." "Maybe I was meant to be with him this whole time." "Erica, I'm sorry." "We're not done here yet." "Oh, yes we are." "Ivan, hey." "Where's Kai?" "Kai?" "Oh, he just left." " How long ago?" " Only a minute ago, you can probably still catch him." "For all of us, there is a tension between who we think we are and what we really feel, and want, and need." "Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth from the lie." "Kai?" "Kai!" "Erica." "What is it?" "Are you okay?" "♪ And I don't want the world to see me ♪" "♪ 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. ♪" "♪ When everything's made to be broken, ♪" "♪ I just want you to know who I am ♪"