"Now, are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" "And miss Adar's speech?" "Please..." "Send my regrets." "I'll be there first thing tomorrow." "Welcome!" "Welcome to the festival of peace!" "Peace to you!" "Back atcha!" "Peace forever!" "Everybody, yeah!" "I'm gonna need my arm back!" "Peace to us all!" "Be happy!" "Adar..." "Gabrielle, ya made it!" "But, where's Xena?" "She had business in Pergos but she sends her apologies." "But she'll miss my speech honoring Pax." "I'll give her all the highlights." "She'll be back tomorrow morning." "They're ready, mr. mayor." "Thank you." "Please, be seated." "We are gathered today from many villages for our annual celebration of Pax The personification of peace." "This statue was created twenty years ago at the end of a bitter war." "And serves as a reminder that we are truly one people bound by a spirit of cooperation and understanding." "By Zeus and all the gods!" "Pax is gone!" "Guess it's pretty bad, huh?" "Pretty bad?" "It's worse than pretty bad." "This is a disaster." "Already, there are angry recriminations between the villagers as to what's happened to the statue." "Everyone's so mistrustful, because it's just so hard to believe." "It was there last night." "And then it's just vanished." "Things don't just vanish, Adar." "Somebody stole it." "It's taller than a house." "Who could've stolen it?" "I think we have a suspect." "I'm talkin' to you, grandma!" "What's that, sweetie?" "What...?" "I wanna ask you a few questions!" "I'm sorry, I need to tend to my..." "Broken hip." "That was pinned on." "Autolycus?" "Of course, who else could pull off a heist like this?" "Well, it is impressive, isn't it?" "I mean, a statue that size, just phewt disappearing like that..." "It would not be immodest to say that that's the greatest theft ever." "There's only one problem." "And what's that, genius?" "I didn't do it." "In the time of ancient gods..., warlords and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a hero." "She was Xena." "A mighty princess forged in the heat of battle." "The power." "The passion." "The danger." "Her courage will change the world." "XENA" " WARRIOR PRINCESS" "What do you mean, you didn't do it?" "Xena, I'm very flattered that you don't believe me but the truth of the matter is, I did not steal the statue." "Granted, I can't believe I didn't steal the statue." "If you're innocent, why were you wearing a disguise?" "That's a very good question." "You see, it's like this..." "Try as I may to keep it quiet, I have a reputation as..." "The king of thieves?" "And because of that reputation Well, if I were to be spotted in a town where a major theft has just taken place, as in here Well, the local authorities might be somewhat inclined to..." "...incarcerate me." "I'll take care o' this." "That statue represents a long tradition of peace between these two villages and I didn't come here to fool around." "Well, like I'm here for the pony rides..." "Xena, I wanna get that statue back just as much as you." "Give me a break." "Oh, no, not for any goody-goody reasons, but for me." "Don't you get it?" "I don't know who stole that statue." "What's worse, I don't know how they stole it." "So if I don't find out who did and steal it back..." "You're no longer the king of thieves." "Exactly." "Which is why I'm gonna let you work with me on this." "Oh, thanks, but no, thanks." "It takes a thief to catch a thief." "Look, I just want your help to steal it back so I can put it back where it belongs." "Autolycus, it's not called stealing if you retrieve stolen property for the rightful owners." "No, not if you go in there busting heads like you usually do." "But if you use finesse and steal it out from under their noses without them knowing it, that counts as stealing." "Why would I wanna do that?" "As a favor to me?" "No!" "Oh, I get it." "What have I done for you lately, huh?" "Yeah?" "Yeah, nothing besides letting you live inside my body while I risked my life to steal back your shapely corpse all the while having to endure Gabrielle whining and crying 24 hours a day about "How much she misses Xena!"." "Are you quite finished?" "That depends." "Did it work?" "It worked." "Then I'm finished." "Xena, one more thing." "What?" "It's gotta be done my way." "What?" "My reputation as the king of thieves is not gonna be restored if you sling that chakram around and poke people with swords." "It's gotta be done the Autolycus way." "Deal?" "Come on, gimme a smile." "Gimme some teeth." "A little smile." "Deal." "That's my Xena." "Fishcakes!" "Fishcakes!" "Working with us might rub off on Autolycus." "It could change him." "Or not." "Autolycus became a thief to avenge a terrible wrong." "I know, he told me." "He stole everything from the merchant who killed his brother." "He left him with nothing." "Just a broken man." "You see, that was Autolycus' defining moment." "He'll always think of himself as a thief." "If he wants me to help him regain the title of king, then so be it." "It's the least I can do." "The man did save my life." "Come on!" "Well?" "Just as I suspected." "There's a deep furrow in the seabed." "So the statue was toppled over and dragged out of the harbor by ship." "Exactly, my dear." "Now, all we have to figure out..." "...is which ship." "Right." "Be right with ya." "Just gotta get this off." "Greetings." "I am told you are the one called wharfmaster." "I am Namin, an antiquities dealer." "Trading in rare armenian antiquitites." "I need to ship some rather delicate cargo." "Can't help you." "Ah, no, no, you misunderstand." "I was hoping you could recommend a ship captain who could help us with such a sensitive transaction." "Look, Blinky, I don't know what you're talkin' about, ok?" "Then perhaps for you it is very fortunate that I speak the universal language." "You'll have to speak it louder than that, my friend." "I think you should talk to my associate." "Good centurion, bad centurion?" "Put a little pressure on him." "Right you are." "Now tell us who shipped out that statue." "You don't have to answer that." "What are you doing?" "Putting a little pressure on him." "Psychological pressure." "Xena, you agreed to do this my way." "Undo that." "16... 17..." "All right." "18..." "Now, are you willing to tell us?" "It was Tarsus." "Tarsus?" "Of Siros?" "Yeah." "You know him?" "Yeah, we have a history of sorts." "Where's his home base now?" "A castle on the island of Mekonos." "The first thing we should do is size up the castle from the outside..., ...try and determine the best way to get the statue out." "What if they're in the process of selling it right now?" "It could be on the move before we get to it." "Good point." "Then one of us should go in as a fence and make a bid on the statue." "That'll keep it in place for a while." "Impersonating a fence..." "Let me guess who does that." "What is it?" "There's someone here asking about Pax." "All right." "Tarsus, I presume." "And you are...?" "Myopia, the fence." "I fence." "I come to tell you, I make offer on the statue of Pax." "What makes you think that I have Pax?" "This?" "You'd be surprised how little it takes to loosen lips of corrupt wharfmaster." "Get the furnace going." "Furnace?" "When strangers start knocking on my door with offers I'd say things were a bit too hot to have a stolen, sacred piece of art hanging around." "These city-states have been known to send armies after the silliest artifacts." "On the other hand Who's to say where I got a few hundred pounds of raw gold?" "I'm not sure I understand." "As soon as the furnace is hot enough, the statue of Pax will be melted down." "Wait, you can't melt the statue down." "Why not?" "Because it gets gooey." "I do not pay for goo." "This is exactly what I meant." "About things being too hot." "Seems we have another unsolicited bidder." "You ever heard of a fence named Ezra?" "I've heard of her, of course!" "Dahling!" "Ezra, nice to meet you." "Charmed, I'm sure, but I'm here on business." "Well, you're going to have some competition." "This is Myopia." "She's also interested in the statue." "Myopia, I've heard of you." "They say you used to be good-lookin'." "Plan beta." "I saw the furnace belching smoke and knew we had to come right a..." "Are you paying attention to me?" "This is part of his way." "So, where are you hiding that statue?" "Tarsus was just about to have the statue melted down." "Of course, I tell him the statue is much more valuable intact." "Well, that would be because you're a rank amateur." "Of course, it's more valuable if you melt it down." "Easier to transport, easier to sell." "I'm frankly, I'm surprised you didn't do it earlier." "I mean, surprised, but pleased." "Why is that?" "Because I don't buy anything I don't see melted down." "One can so easily dilute it." "You don't trust me?" "I sell to the richest men and women on Earth..." "So forgive me if my reputation for dealing in only the finest materials is too valuable to risk on the word of a thief." "So, do I get to see the statue or not?" "Right away." "Fabulous." "Oh, my manservant's outside." "Would you give him a hand with the baggage?" "Oh, gorgeous." "Let's do it!" "Here's my guy now." "This is my assistant." "Bentley." "Bentley, what an unfortunate name..." "Well, Mother had quite the sense a' humor." "Stay out of the way, Bentley." "They're about to melt down the statue." "Go on." "Your man is an idiot." "You're telling me." "Get inside, ya buffoon!" "A thousand pardons." "I..." "There's something wrong with the furnace." "It's losing heat." "What?" "I thought you were running a classy operation here." "Interesting." "You incompetent scum." "Make sure that furnace is working!" "We can wait inside while they work on it." "It won't take long." "We gotta keep them out here till Autolycus is finished looking around." "Oh, that's just great." "Great!" "Yeah." "Now she wants to bid on the raw gold." "Well, I guess there's nothing wrong with changing your mind." "All right." "Well, let's settle this right now, shall we?" "I'll give you fifteen thousand dinars for it." "Twenty." "Twenty-five." "Thirty." "Thirty-five." "Thirty-five thousand dinars." "Going once..." "..." "Twice..." "Forty thousand." "One hundred and fory thousand dinars." "One hundred-sixty thousand." "Two hundred thousand dinars." "Two hundred thousand dinars." "Going once..." "Two hundred fifty thousand." "Two hundred and fifty thousand dinars." "Going..." "Three hundred thousand." "Three hundred fifty." "Four hundred thousand dinars and I'll throw in the ring of Apollo." "Let her have it." "Sold." "Well, the money will be here in the morning." "Perfect." "We'll have the furnace operational by then." "You and your gold will be on your way by midday." "Break out the wine." "Tonight we celebrate." "I hope there are no bad feelings." "But, who could compete with the ring of Apollo?" "Don't you agree?" "Ya just had to outbid me, didn'tcha?" "You outbid me first." "It's a wonder you didn't go even higher." "Right!" "Like I can top the ring of Apollo!" "Are you two out of your minds?" "What difference does it make who outbid who?" "We're pretending, remember?" "Now, I happen to have a plan." "And if it works, I will be a legend." "And you two will be a legend's helpers." "First I've gotta find something." "I'm comin' with you." "Fine, but you know the rules." "You go to the party." "Tell 'em we'll join them later." "No problem." "This plan of yours is kind of ambitious." "What else would you expect from the king of thieves?" "Oh, Thebes, I've been there." "Pay attention." "See?" "Paint-drippings." "This is probably it..." "locked." "Of course, not a problem." "Watch and learn, my dear." "You see, this is no ordinary lock." "This happens to be a reinforced Corinthian steel lock with a high security, double-hinged, pin-tumbler mechanism." "Sorry you didn't get the gold." "But I'll have some more interesting wares very soon." "Where's your rival?" "In her room, I imagine." "Ah, she's missing the party." "I'll send somebody for her." "Ah, she'll come later." "She's with someone." "With someone?" "The hunchback?" "Who else?" "Hunchback?" "Interesting." "She can be with him any time." "Right now I want her here, at this party." "Bring Ezra and her man down immediately." "I wouldn't do that if I were you." "Oh, you naughty guard, you!" "Hold everything!" "The party starts here!" "Make yourself scarce, dummy." "Myopia, I am so sorry you lost..." "Better luck next time, huh?" "As soon as we're out of here, we will put his plan in motion." "Congratulations, Ezra." "I am obligated to tell you that a well-known silosian general is on his way here to make a bid." "Really?" "Is he good-lookin'?" "Look, if you have the money here by morning, I'm sure he can't top your offer." "Oh, it'll be here." "So, tell me more about this naughty general." "Excuse me." "My name is Theia." "Bentley." "Forgive me for staring, but I just can't help but notice your..." "Smile?" "To be honest?" "I was actually referring to your hump." "Oh, that." "Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?" "Well, sure, go ahead." "What d'ya wanna know?" "Would you mind if I... touched it?" "Oh, no, no." "I would really rather that you didn't." "Well, why?" "Does it hurt?" "Well, of course it hurts." "Why do you think camels are so miserable?" "I kid you not." "It was this big." "So, tell me." "How did you manage to steal the statue of Pax?" "Magician never gives away his secrets." "But I will tell you this." "It was the best work I've ever done." "Really?" "Of course." "I haven't always been a thief." "Oh, no." "For many years I was a moderately-successful merchant." "Making a decent living." "One day I had a disagreement with a competitor." "I had to... eliminate him as a rival." "Well, you would." "Unbeknownst to me my competitor had a younger brother." "Rather than face me like a man, he took his vengeance by stealing from me." "Cleaned me out, but..." "in so doing, he taught me a lesson." "The world belongs to those who make it their own." "A toast, then..." "A toast." "To the man who has brought us all here tonight." "Autolycus." "The former king of thieves." "Auto!" "Auto, baby!" "Ya promised me this was gonna work!" "You're supposed to be the king of thieves!" "My father..." "My father told me he was a loser, and a fraud with his phony disguises and that silly mustache." "But..." "I will always love you." "Oh..." "Oh, look!" "Ya gotta believe me!" "He put me up to this!" "Ya know how he is with that charm of his." "He's so shallow, yet so persuasive..." "I'm not really a bad pois'n!" "I just fell in love with the wrong man at the wrong..." "Shut up!" "Take her, too!" "And gag her!" "Get them both out of here!" "Watch the hump!" "Quit that!" "Come on!" "Please!" "No!" "If Ezra isn't real, the bidding isn't real, either." "That's right." "You can bid again in the morning, against the silosian general." "But your money better be here by then." "If not, I'll assume you're a fraud too." "That's twenty feet of the strongest chain wrapped around you, Autolycus." "Fastened by two hundred of the best locks in the world." "Good." "I enjoy a challenge." "Well, enjoy it while you can, because I've just sent word to everyone who has a reward out on your head." "I'll deliver you to the highest bidder." "Outwardly, you're always calm, Autolycus." "But I'm not fooled." "Inside you, you burn with hatred toward me, don't you?" "And it's only gonna get worse." "Just think." "I killed your brother..." "I stole your mantle as "king of thieves"..." "And soon I'll be delivering you to your executioners." "It's all so perfect..." "I want this door gurarded at all times." "Well, this should be interesting." "You pathetic weaking!" "I plan to sell you to the silosians." "Don't worry, you won't be with 'em for long." "They usually beat their slave girls to death in a matter of weeks." "And don't think Autolycus will save you." "I have him bounded by two hundred of the strongest locks." "Have a nice evening." "You stay here, and don't let anyone talk to her, especially that Myopia." "I don't trust her, either." "Help me." "Help me." "Could I ask you a question?" "Shoot." "What are we doing?" "We're doing it his way." "You call that his way?" "Don't get technical on me." "Now that we know it was Tarsus who killed his brother it's even more essential that we let Autolycus win his way." "Why do you think he didn't tell us who Tarsus was?" "I'm hoping because it doesn't make any difference." "So, where is he?" "Somewhere in this castle." "Someplace, chained and manacled with two hundred locks." "Two hundred locks?" "Yes." "It's gonna take him at least an hour to get out of that lot." "Come on, let's get on with it." "All right." "Would you get that?" "Thank you." "Watch it." "Come on, come on, talk to me." "I'm listenin', but I'm not hearing." "Come on." "Just a little more." "There we go." "64." "Ok." "I found everything that we need to go through with this plan." "Except for one thing." "What is that?" "Brushes." "I just couldn't begin to think how to do that his way." "Whaddya think, huh?" "That'll do." "Good." "We'd better get everything we need into the courtyard." "Don't you think we should find Autolycus?" "Are you kidding?" "He'd never forgive me if I robbed him of the joy of getting out of that by himself." "As long as he's back by sunrise, it'll work." "110." "We did it." "Yeah." "The sun's up." "Where is he?" "Xena..." "Why don't you go get him?" "Look, this wouldn't be..." "Oh, his way, yes, I know." "But this plan will go to Tartarus in a reed basket if he's not here." "Yeah, right." "I know it's not quite your..." "Where is he?" "I don't know." "He wasn't in the dungeon." "That's great." "He got out." "The silosians will be here any moment." "I don't think he's gonna be joing us." "What do you mean?" "His plan was to meet here." "He's not concerned with his plan anymore." "I don't understand." "He's going to kill Tarsus." "But Autolycus doesn't kill." "He got revenge on Tarsus before by stealing from him." "Now he plans to finish the job." "Xena, Autolycus isn't a killer." "Not even to avenge his brother's death." "He'd be a good one." "Think about it." "With his skills of disguise and escape, he'd be one of the best." "That's if he crosses the line." "We're not gonna let him." "Come on." "Hello from Malechis." "You plan to kill me, don't you?" "Why, Autolycus?" "I didn't know you had it in you." "That's why I'm here." "Don't you want to thank me first?" "Think about it." "You pride yourself on being the king of thieves, the best at what you do." "And who made you that way?" "Me." "For better or worse, I made you who you are." "Too bad this isn't about me." "It's about a decent man you killed a long time ago." "Look, Autolycus, I can't bring your brother back." "But I can offer you money." "Lots of money." "Money..." "I do love money." "How much?" "Everything I own." "Not enough, but thanks for trying." "Don't do it, Autolycus." "Stay out of this, Xena!" "Don't get me wrong." "I agree with you." "He killed your brother, turned you into a theif and he was determined to see you dead." "Most people would think you had every right to act as his judge." "But I'm asking you..." "What would Malechis think?" "The man you told me about loved his brother." "He gave everything to see that you became a good person." "Tarsus may have created the thief, but it was Malechis who gave the thief his heart." "Was it the heart of a murderer?" "All right, Xena, you've been waiting for this moment since we started." "Some good, old-fashioned..., ...kick-but, that's-my-Warrior-Princess action." "Kill them!" "Retreat." "What?" "We got a plan, remember?" "After them, you idiots!" "The silosians are coming!" "Get them!" "What are you doing?" "You loved your brother so much..." "Say "hi" to him in the underworld!" "Come on, come play with me, huh?" "Ok, Xena, up and over." "Let's get of here!" "They're too much for us!" "Quickly!" "Run for your lives!" "This way!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Tarsus!" "Tarsus!" "General, your timing is perfect." "Arrest these people." "They're trying to deprive you of your gold." "I'm afraid we have a different sense of humor in Silosia." "So, where is it?" "The gold?" "Where is it?" "What are you, blind?" "It hasn't been melted down yet, but the statue is right there, against that..." "But it was there!" "I stole it!" "You stole it?" "Now, how can that be?" "Obviously, it's not even here." "Unless someone stole it from you." "Someone like..." "What's his name?" "Autolycus, the king of thieves?" "So I'm negotiating with you..." "No, sorry." "I've made other arrangements." "You ever offer me goods you don't have again I'll slash your throat." "Autolycus, I hope you don't mind that I..." "No, no." "Say no more." "Sometimes your way is just fine." "Well, looks like my plan worked rather well." "Yeah, they'll be talking about you from Silosia to Britannia." "Now let's get that statue back home." "They'll be happy to have the guy who stole it too." "You know the problem with your greatest work?" "You can never tell anyone how you did it." "By Zeus and all the gods!" "Pax is back!" "Pax is back!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Wake up, you guys!" "Pax is back!" "Come on!" "Pax is back!" "This is incredible!" "Pax is back!" "I cannot believe what I'm seeing!" "Look!" "Pax is back!" "Pax is back!" "This is absolutely fantastic!" "That's what makes doing work like this worthwhile." "Yes, this half-naked men screaming through the square." "I see your point." "Autolycus..." "Tell me you don't feel a little bit happy that you've given the people their statue back..." "I'll tell you what makes me feel a little bit better." "Is knowing that the crown of..." "..." "The king of thieves...?" "...Has been restored again." "And if these people wanna feel happy, well That's ok, too." "Xena..." "Autolycus, baby..." "I tried to thank you back there at the castle." "But... you are not an easy person to thank." "I don't need any thanks." "I'm sure you don't." "And I don't have gems, or money, or anything else of value to offer you except this." "You are the second-best thief I've ever met." "And if you ever need to get inside my body again, you just look me up." "Thanks." "Gabrielle?" "Yes?" "You'll miss me." "Autolycus!" "The man of my dreams!" "Oh, what a sweet sound." "Well, you'll pardon me, my public awaits." "Ta-ta." "How does it feel to be a thief?" "Second-best?" "He's got some noive." "Subtitles: @marlonrock1986 (^^V^^)"