"Chris, are we close to some place?" "'cause I didn't sign up for no pride walk." "You know, I got to say, Doreen," "I am so happy we hooked up." "I can't wait to introduce you to my friend Brett or to his rotting corpse, if he's been dead for several years if we finally find him;" "Guy sounds like a loaf." "You sure it was a good idea to bring along Doreen?" "(screams)" "Quit carving me." "Don't do that to him!" " Oh, eat it, pumpkinhead." "Oh, now, come on, ladies, please." "Don't do that." "Hey, there, fellow travelers." "Where you headed?" "Okay, I know what this is." "Uh, you'll let us pass if we solve your riddles three, and the answers are under your balls two." "No, thank you." "Uh, were looking for the lost city of Kartuuk." "Kartuuk, huh?" "Well, that must be all the way downriver." "About 60 miles, as the crow swims." "It just so happens, I'm headed that direction myself." "Name's Gribbs." "Franklin Gribbs." "Well, maybe you can help us, Mr. Gribbs." "We have no idea where we're going." " Mm." "Well, maybe we can help each other." "I'd be happy to navigate this river if you two can provide the vessel." "Do you have a vessel?" "Huh?" "(screaming)" "So, Mr. Gribbs, what brings you out to the jungle?" "As you might have guessed, I'm in the blooper business." "Animal bloopers." "Nowadays, the big money is in rare and exotic bloopers, and this place is a gold mine." "I reckon, if I can find a harlequin pygmy sloth in this here jungle and get it to bloop on this here camera, then this here Gribbs would be a wealthy man." "Wow." "All right." "Hey, Chris." " Hmm?" "I got something to tell you." " Oh." "Honey, if this another one of your Wayne Gretzky conspiracy theories" "I already told you, I believe you." "I'm pregnant." " (gasps)" "So you are." "Is it mine?" "Of course it's yours, you pansy." "Here, feel him kick like a girl like his old man." "Oh, what a blessing!" "You know, I thought the last time we bumped," "I gave you a little extra..." "(grunts) boom. (laughs) Remember?" "Hey, Chris, I need my pills." "Hit me with some Thursday." "Yeah, all right." "Hold on there, Cappy." "All right." "(grunts)" "Coming at ya." " Mm." "Where are you taking us?" " To see the king." "Kneel." "Welcome, friends." "It's been a long time." "Doc Shades?" "It's King Shades now." "(electric guitar wailing)" "It's like my whole world was turned upside down, and that's when I realized that things would just never be the same." "Wow." "That was quite a story, Chris." "If we had TV here, I would definitely check out The L Word." "And I'm sorry about what happened with the marshals." "They caused me great pain and anguish, too." "(gunfire)" "So, how did Doc Gardner become King Shades?" "Hang on." "Dr. Pete Gardner?" "The Slim Reaper?" "Well, that was many years and many jungle pies ago." "You killed all those coma patients, right?" "Now, those people might have been alive, but, trust me, they weren't living." "Well..." " That's not living." "...I think we all need to get a little shut-eye before we head out tomorrow and find Brett." "I'm sorry to tell you this, Chris, but Brett's dead." "Wha?" " What?" "(squeals)" "He came through this area years ago with a group of weird guys dressed in robes." "Then they killed him." " Typical loaf move." "I can't believe we came all this way for nothing." "Well, not for nothing, guys." "We found each other!" "Yeah." "Yipee." "There's nothing left for you in the world of man." "Stay here with me and these Moe Howard cosplayers." "Live like kings." " Maybe he's right, Chris." "We've been wandering for years." "Brett is gone." "Maybe we should just stay here where it's safe." "We could raise your baby together." "Hey, stay away from my baby, skinch." "You want a kid?" "Adopt one of these googluhmoogluhs." "Well, Chris, what do you say?" "I think you have a deal." "Oh, now, wait just a minute." "We had a deal." "You said you would take me downriver to find the pygmy sloth." "Guess you wouldn't mind then if I take your boat." "Hey, I don't want to be all alone with that fella inside me." "Sorry, queerbones, I don't float that way." "How about this-- you come with me and help me find the sloth, and I'll cut you in on half the profits." "And I'll have you back in two sunups." "Hey, this baby's got Champale taste." "We're doing it." "Okay." "Jackpot." "Boogie time." "(sloth screeches)" "Come on." "Bloop for me, baby." "Bloop." "(sloth shrieking)" "Heil Hitler!" "I mean "Yes!"" "We're rich." "I'm going to finally develop my Ap'p'Pals musical that I've always been meaning to talk about." "I'm gonna start the Franklin Gribbs Foundation and make a generous grant to PBS so they can continue to bring you quality programming like House of Moss." "Too bad I'll have to share credit with viewers like you." "What do you got there, honey?" "Just some crap I swiped from that doctor chump while you two were word-humping." "Why don't you come sit by us, Gribbs?" "So you can push me into the fire and steal my blooper?" "Nice try, Toots." "One thing you should know about Franklin P. Gribbs is he doesn't like getting schemed." "I wasn't trying to scheme" " Aw, save it, sweet cheeks." "The four of you is a regular dream scheme team just waiting for the right moment to bamboozle old Gribbsy so you can run off with this blooper footage." "Well, you can forget it." " Oh, whatever." "Hey, Chris, now that we're rich" "I need to make sure me and the baby is taken care of." "I want a child-support agreement -- half in cash, half in bananas, like we talked about." "Well, honey, we haven't been paid yet." "Oh, what's that?" "Oh, it's the kick of disappointment." "He already knows a sack of trash his daddy is." "Oh, fine." "Here." "Just take it." "It's all I got." "And the bananas." " Geez." "I should have never let you ruin me!" "Ugh." "I told you she'd be trouble." "Okay." "All right." "Listen," "Susie, can you do me a favor and try to talk her down?" "I'll stay and watch Cuckoo Chanel." "Doreen!" "This is stupid." "(monkey chatters) Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Keep your fur on." "(monkey chattering)" "(gasps)" "(snoring)" "I got my eye on you, Gramps." "Don't try anything funny." "He's sleeping." " (mumbling)" "That ain't sleeping." "That's night scheming." "He's been scheming his jeans over this footage since the word "Go."" "Say, what about you and me 86 the old man, split his take?" " No." "Oh, I see." "You're just in it for yourself, huh?" "Just waiting for the right moment to kill me and that sweet old man." "We did it, Kicks." "We fooled 'em." "Now all we got to do is split the loot." "$18 for you." "Bananas for me." "Sorry, Kicks." "You know too much." "Don't." "Get back here so I can kill you!" " No!" "No, no, no, no." "Come on, Gribbs." "Let's relax." "Let's have campfire time." "Scheme!" "Scheme!" "Scheme!" "Scheme!" "(screams)" "Gingey?" "There you are, Gingey?" "Look, I don't want to fight no more, okay?" "I brought you a nice rock as a make-up present." "Okay." "Why don't you come closer?" "Why?" "Throwing is so impersonal." "Come here, and then you can crush my skull, like pals." "I won't even move an inch." "You'd do that for me?" " Yeah." "I'd even plug my nose, so my brains spurt out my ears and don't ruin your nice blouse." "Aww." "You're all r-i-i-i-i-i-i..." "(sighs)" "Hey." "That's gonna be a knife." "Aah!" "Ooh!" "Oof." " Doc!" "Just as I suspected!" "He's full of scheme juice!" "(grunting)" "Push him to me." "(squeals)" "Welcome to Paradise, Mr. Gribbs." "Nice try, Pete." "I see right through your scheme." "I sign the big book, then one of your mooks runs out with a blackjack to brain me from behind." "Then you get my bloops." "Well..." "(eagle cries)" "Say, I could get used to this." "What the hell is going on here?" "(groans)" "Doc!" "Doc!" "Hang in there." "You're gonna be okay." "No, stab wounds are always fatal." "That's been my experience." "Hold on, Doc." " (groans)" "I got to tell you something." "Brett's not really dead." "I just said that 'cause I didn't want you to leave." "Doc." "The Ancients took him..." "to Kartuuk." "Find him, Chris..." "Susie." "(groans)" "Doc?" "Doc?" "(muffled) Doc?" "Doc?" "Whoa." "(sighs)" "He's gone." "Save some tears for me, gang." "(sighs)" "I'm so sorry, Captain." "Don't shed any tears for me, gang." "I had a great life." "I was a husband, a grand-cousin, and even a boat." "Find Mobley." "Finish this thing already." "I..." "Ah... (exhales deeply)" "Oh." "Right." "(screams)" "(sloth screeching)" "# You were my everything" "# All my eggs in one basket" "# My word was every spring" "# You were my everything" "# You were" "Sync  corrections by dwigt"