"The reason time had slowdown was because I had just been blindsided by the two most important women in my life." "First, Elliot asked me this..." "JD..." "Do you think I'm making a mistake by marrying Keith?" "And then my ex-girlfriend Kim, who had lied and told me she had a miscarriage followed me back from a medical convention and asked me this..." "JD..." "How could you just leave me there?" "Holy frick!" "You're still pregnant!" "Hey, do you think that I should marry Keith?" "Fortunately, Carla had special maid-of-honor radar that let her know when Elliot was obsessing." "Elliot, I already told you... you're just going through some pre-wedding panic, here." "This is how it'll feel when you'll walk out of that church married." "Clap, dammit!" "Thank you!" "Thank you all!" "Look, I know you're angry." "But you promised we'd talk, and then you just left me stranded there at that bar." "You know what?" "You're right." "I'm sorry." "Let me just file these, and we'll talk." "Great." "Hello?" "How could you do this to me again?" "Cut me some slack!" "I just found out I'm still having a baby." "I get it." "Look, I just ordered a cup of coffee." "I know you can't have caffeine, but you want me to get you some tea and we can sit and talk?" "That would be great." "It's open, Kim." "JD, what the hell?" "Ok, that one was a little excessive." "I'm sorry." "It's just that every time I think about running away, I look at the fat guy in the track suit with a giant rabbit head, and he doesn't say anything." "Ok, elaborating would help." "He's my conscience!" "I realized that I'd listen to it more if I imagined something I was really afraid of." "The track suit, because I had this mean" "Phys Ed teacher in high school named Mr. Fratelli, and the rabbit head, because my uncle once ate a rabbit and he got belly worms." "Look, I wanted to talk to you because, well, the baby's due in a month and I guess I was hoping that you'd want me to have it here, y' know, so that we could... go through it together." "Really?" "I'm sorry, Kim." "This is a big deal for me." "I think I need to be alone right now." "Thanks for being alone with me, Choco." "So, what should I do?" "Oh, that's a tough call." "When it comes to babies, women are crazy." "If you would please, can you hold her by that rim over there?" "Right?" "I'm gonna Photoshop a basketball into her hand and Photoshop you out!" "Everybody's gonna think my baby can dunk." "Right?" "It's gonna be crazy!" "Maybe I should ask another dad." "I know what Kim did to you was just crazy, but pregnant women are among a selected group of people who are actually allowed to act insane, much like sport's mascots, local weathermen, theme park performers, and that guy with" "the question marked jacket who teaches people how to get free money from the government." "Besides, we're talking about your kid." "I think we both know what you're gonna do." "Ok, I'm in." " Really?" " Yeah, you can even stay here." " But this is only a one bedroom." " This couch isn't that uncomfortable." "Thanks." "Actually, I'm gonna go lie down right now, huh!" "Wowowowo, you get the couch, I get the bed." "Was that not clear?" "Dorian, she's pregnant!" "Give her the bed!" "Fine, you can have the bed." "You're a great guy, JD." "Dorian, don't watch a nudie movie, with the mother of your child" " in the next room!" " Really?" "No, I'm cool with it." "Whooo, have I got a carrot for her!" "Itasa Scrubs Team Presents ( less proudly than usual, sorry for the delay )" "Scrubs Season 06 Episodes 21-22 Season Finale My Rabbit" " My Point Of No Return VO" "Transfix and syncfix: gi0v3, Supersimo, Tania JohnDorian, Jdsclone, Teorouge, Matters" "Revision:" "Tania, gi0v3" "Special Thanks to:" "Samuelante, R!" "ck, Aislinn87, Dharmagirl" "Since Kim didn't have an o.b. here in town, we made her an appointment at the hospital." "Unfortunately, that meant she had to face all the people who were mad at her for what she'd done." "There was my best friend, who was furious, and my mentor, who was equally upset but didn't wanna show it." " Hi, Kim." " Hey, Perry." "And other acquaintances, who were much more loyal than I thought." " Hussy!" " Liar!" "Jerk!" "Who is that?" "All this group anger's made me hungry!" "Of course, everything makes me hungry right now." "Well, I have to go to check out a patient." " I'll meet you upstairs?" " Great." "Hem, by the way, all this sympathy that's coming your way, that's gonna turn, and when it does, I'm gonna be here, and I'm going to enjoy..." "Hey!" "Not finished!" "It." "Mr. Fulton, the reason you're having chronic pain and trouble walking is you have peripheral arterial disease." "How do you treat it?" "Well, that's why I brought in a surgical consult." " Dr. Turk..." " One second, please." "Turk liked patients to see him intensively studying their charts because he felt it instilled confidence." "Only I knew the clipboard was blank." "Interesting stuff." "We are gonna discuss some options and get back to you." "Since Turk was a surgeon, he always had the same answer." "I'm slicing' that guy open." "Vascular surgery on a guy his age?" "Dude, I've done tons of these." "And yes, there's a risk." "But with this type of surgery, his quality of life would improve like that." "Tommy, here, could be playing tennis by the weekend." "What do you think, Perry?" "Let me phrase my response in the form of a riddle:" "What's black and white, and should never, ever, ever, be allowed inside of a hospital?" "Oh, is it Lloyd e Sharise?" "Because their PDA has gotten out of control." "And yet, you two still nauseate me more." "Oh, my God!" "Is it still funny to yell "get a room"?" "I don't care, I'm going for it." "Get a room!" "Hey, guys." "Hey, Kim." "How could you be so nice to her?" " That was not nice." "That was neutral!" " Neutral!" ""Hey, Kim!"." "That's neutral?" "!" "She's with child." " Oh, so, she's with child.." " Fine!" "I'll do it over." "Kim." "Great." "Ugh, that sucked!" "How did you get so good at being mean?" "It gets much easier when you're married." "Ah!" "Speaking of which, I'm throwing you a bachelorette party." "Carla!" "I'm your maid of honor and you haven't let me do anything yet!" "Since you've got engaged you've become much more of a control freak." "Oh, I'm not that bad." "You wrote my wedding toast." "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure there weren't any sex jokes in there, because my grandma Lati still thinks I'm a virgin, despite what was painted on our town's water tower." "And what about your honeymoon?" "I just want a hotel that's on the beach." "Oh, and it's got to have a bathroom with a bidet." "'cause I cannot wear my going-out thong if I've got sand in my patootie." "That's why Travelocity's so great." "You can compare 4 hotels at once, plus, there's tons of user reviews to help you." "See, wouldn't I make a great spokesperson?" "Screw Hawaii." "You know where you should go?" "Turk, for the last time." "There's no place called Cocoa Mo." "Where'd the Beach Boys shoot the video, huh?" "I'm going to Hawaii." "I'm booked." "Hey, babe." "Still thinking about going skiing for our honeymoon?" "Oh, sure sweetie." "That's a total possibility." "Ok, so I know what I like." "Kim, everything looks good." "But since you're a new patient, I'd like to do an ultrasound." "I'll be right back." "I hate ultrasounds." "That gel feels like a whale hocked a loogie on my belly." "Plus, I'm always afraid in the first few seconds they're not gonna feel a little heartbeat." "Relax, Kim." "Dorians are known for their strong will to live." "JD, thank you for being here." "It's making it a lot easier to get through this." "Well, I'm glad I'm here." "So, do you wanna know the sex of the baby?" "Because I've already found out." "Hit me." "It's a boy." "A boy!" "What's his name?" "He didn't say." "We have to pick one." "Can we name him Sam, after my dad?" "After what I did to you, you can name this kid whatever the hell you want." "We can name him Sam Perry Gilligan Dorian?" " Perry just 'cause I kinda like the ring to it." " Sure." "And Gilligan 'cause I've lost that bet to Turk." "Those are all better than anything nerdy like Aragorn or Chewbecca." "Turk has dibs on Chewy." "Turk, should I get a male stripper for Elliot's bachelorette party?" "Are you, uh, looking for a caucasian boy or more exotic fare?" "What?" "Once spring rolls around, Enid gets a little randy, so I throw a twenty to Churro, our neighbour's guatemalan house boy, to get in our basement and let Enid chase him around in a wheelchair until the juice runs out." "Churro hates America." "Yeah, I wonder why." "Ok, Mr. Fulton, it's almost time to prep you for surgery." "Hello!" "Cute grandaughter." "Actually... she's my daughter." "Congratulations." "I've got a daughter too." "Six months." "Already playing basketball." "So, check out the party plans." "A limo takes all the girls to the spa for a Margi-Marti-Pedi-Party." "That's Margaritas, Martinis e Pedicures." "Oh, what about a Margi Marti Mani Pedi Party?" "You can't get manis!" "You need your hands free for the Margaritas and the Martinis." " Oh, Carla, this rocks!" " I know..." " Oh-oh." "What?" "What?" "What can possibly be wrong?" "Well, I just noticed that you've put Ronni Ippolito on the list." "See, I just like being the only girl on the list with a boy's name." "And I find it odd that a month after I started working here she changes her name from Veronica to Ronni." "Heh, sure Ronni claims that it's 'cause she doesn't want the same name as her mom." "Because her mum snapped and set fire to that pre-school." "But I still think it's a tinsy bit coinkidinky!" " No problem, Ronni is out." " Wait, I'm not sure yet." "I mean, Ronni has also got, like, the best crazy mum stories." "We are talking multiple felonies, including the attempted assassination of a federal judge." " Oh..." "Fun!" " Right?" "Plus, I'm not so sure we don't wanna have a sit-down dinner," "You know, maybe do something a little less girly, like bowling, or paintball, or fight club." "Ok, let's make a list." "Sounds great." "And that's his heart, right there." "Wow!" "That's amazing." "Just don't get freaked out by how big his head is in comparison to the rest of his body." "Trick or treat!" "What great costumes!" "I wouldn't recognize any of you." "Well, except for you." "You're Dorians' kid." "Damn it!" "I bet you could fit a lot of candy corns in those cheeks." "I just hope he doesn't get my dad's dainty hands and my mom's patchy facial hair, and, no, I didn't pluck those." "I just want what every father wants for his son..." "Health, happiness and a life long obsession with American Musical Theatre." "This has been the first good day for me in a long time, JD." "Thank you." "I'm glad." " I have to admit something." " Oh-oh." "Last night, when I went into your room, I couldn't fall asleep." "I just..." "laid on the bed staring at the door, hoping you might come in." " Kim..." " I know, you don't trust me, and I don't even know if you like me." "I don't really like myself right now." "But do you think there's a one in a million chance that a year from now, or 5 years from now you could get to a place where you forgive me, and then maybe, you know," "We could give it another shot?" ""No" is a powerful word." "It can surprise a colleague..." "Aren't you suppose to do surgery on that guy today?" "No." "I decided to cancel it." "Ok, I just got us into a great gay bar for some grope-free dancing, then I just have to call a few restaurants." ""No" can piss off a friend..." " Do you want some help, Elliot?" " No, Carla, I've got it." "Luckily with Kim it was easy just to say "yes" and make her feel better." "No, Kim, I'm sorry." "There's not any chance." "Unfortunately, I couldn't do it." "Oh, what'd I miss?" "I felt bad about hurting Kim, so out of compassion I pawned her off on my friends.." "Fine, she can come with us, but I'm not gonna be nice to her." "Thanks." "And listen, any time you need a weekend to yourself and you want me to take that annoying husband off your hands, just let me know." "Done!" "Win-win." "So where are you guys gonna go?" "We're gonna go look at bridesmaid dresses to see what Carla thinks." "Oh, yeah, because my opinion matters so much." " What the frick is with you?" "!" " Mrow!" "Are you really that immature?" "!" "Meow!" "I'm gonna go check on mr." "Fulton's recovery." "Oh, mr." "Fulton didn't have the surgery." "What?" "Damn it, Ted, I want a cat fight!" "That'll do." "Hey, JD, check it out." "Ugly Betty holding Izzie." "I don't care about your stupid photoshopping, Turk!" "Dude, what the hell?" "!" "That was real!" "We saw her at Costco!" "Uh-uh!" "You apologize to your friend right now." "I'm sorry about your picture." "Gym teacher bunny conscience?" "Yeah." "What the hell, man?" "Why didn't you operate on Mr. Fulton?" "Dude, I know the pain sucks, but it's not gonna kill him." "And vascular surgery is way too risky for a guy that age." "Wasn't too risky yesterday." "Well, that was before I found out he had a kid." "I really want to thank you guys for bringing me out." "It's nice to get out of the house, even if you won't talk to me." " Actually, Kim..." " Yeah?" "Would you mind just trying on this dress for my cousin Layla?" "Is she pregnant, too?" "Oh, no, just a fatty-fatty-fatty." ""Can you try on this dress for my cousin Layla?" "!"" "Ok, what is your problem?" "You totally took over the bachelorette party!" "You're a crazy control freak!" "I am not!" "Really?" "Because even though I know you don't want the bridesmaids to wear any jewellery, i thought I would wear this tiara." "Is that all right with you?" "Of course it is." "Good." "Because I think..." "I said no bling!" "See, i told you!" "I'll pay for that." "Kim, are you ok?" "What am I doing here?" "Everybody hates me!" "I can't get the zipper up on your big fat cousin's dress." "No wonder JD said what he said!" "What did he say?" "How coud you do that to the mother of your child?" "Yeah, all Kim asked was if there was a one in a million chance for the two of you, and you couldn't just give her a little hope?" "Now you're on her side?" "!" "She's pregnant!" "You're supposed to tell her what she wants to hear." "Yeah, like rember when Carla was pregnant?" "And we all told her how beautiful she was even though she looked like George Lopez?" "It's the same thing." "Right?" "Ok, my time-out is over, now I'm really pissed at you." "Well, well, well." "I told you they'd turn on you." "That's just 2 people." "Boys?" " She's pregnant, man!" " That's uncool." "How could you do such a thing?" "What'd he do?" "Hey, Turk!" "You might want to buckle up, because the Coxian Express..." "Coxian is not the adjective version of your name, it's a clever combination of Cox and Dorian." "Oh." "Anyway, the afore mentioned express, is about to drop some knowledge on your brown ass." "You can't change who you are as a doctor just because you're a dad." "Tell him, Per." "Of course being a father changes who you are as a doctor." "For God's sake, it changes everything about you." "Why did you come here if you're just going to contradict me?" "I don't know." "Intentionally annoying you seems pretty Coxian." "That is the adjective version." "Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to step over there so that we can present a united front against you." "Listen, noobie, having a kid changes the way you think about everything." "Hell, yeah, it does." "Before Izzie was born if I saw a half-eaten meatball sub in the trash you better believe I would dust that bad boy off and go to town on it!" "But now..." "I'm not risking' my health eating' trash food." "I mean, unless it's a corndog." "Thank God you procreated." "Noobie, the point is, when that kid comes, you..." "You'll start seeing the world a whole lot differently." "You develop patience." "You learn to forgive easier." "If you got baby poop on your thumb, it's no big deal, you can just rub it off on your jeans like that." "I've seen the Wiggles live in concert!" "Twice." "Did they perform Big Red Car?" "They opened and closed the show with it." "It... was awesome." "Carla, we need to talk." "Mrow!" "No, sir, not "mrow!"" "Look, I know that I'm a control freak, but it's just my nature." "For example, you've got one maverick hair sticking out of that right eyebrow that is driving me crazy and I want nothin' morethan to pin you down and to pluck the hell out of it." "But of course I won't." "Unless you want me to." "Never mind." "What I really wanted to say is that..." "You're my best friend and I'm sorry." "Good." "'cause the party's still on." "But on one condition..." "You gotta go the next 20 minutes without asking any questions about what we're doing." "I can do that." "Wow, this is so cool!" "And, time!" "That's 20 minutes." "What are we doing?" "Where's everyone?" "This feels all wrong." "Elliot, relax." "This is your night." "You get to make all the decisions." "Now, all your friends are standing by." "I made reservations at 4 different restaurants." "I booked a paintball field, 4 leads at the bowling alley and I made reservations at various gay dance clubs." "You get to pick what we'll do, what we'll talk about, and at the end, Keith will show up to carry you out the door, reminding the rest of us that you are the one that's getting married." "And what if I don't like the outfit that some of the girls are wearing?" "Everyone's been told that they have to bring a bag of outfits." "Is Ronni Ippolito coming?" "Ronni is waiting at the next corner, and she has no idea why." "If you want, we can pick her up." "If not, we can fly right by." "Carla, you're the most amazing friend ever!" "Duck!" "I love you." "I love you, too." " Oh, my god!" " Oh, my god!" "We're getting married!" "We're getting married!" "Elliot's getting married!" "I was glad I was late and that Kim was asleep." "It gave me time to think about what Turk and dr." "Cox said aboutfatherhoodchangingyou ." "Here's Jack right after he's feeding some ducks." "Izzie driving a tonka truck." "And how Elliot was getting married and moving on with her life." "Did she try to control everything?" "She wasn't so bad." "Other shoulder, Keith!" "It's more comfortable." "But mostly I thought about how much it sucked that my parents were divorced when I was a kid." "Right here." "I'm just checking." "And how much easier life would be for my son if Kim and I were together." "Sam just told me he's very ticklish right here." "Right there?" "!" "It wasn't just about me anymore." "I had to give us a shot." "Hey." "Hey." "Even if it was only one in a million." "It felt good to be holding the mother of my child." "This is nice." "But given recent events cuddling was as far as I was gonna go" "Kim and I had to get to know each other again and build trust, and..." "Oh, my god, is that side boob?" "Whoa, careful with the side boob, big guy." "My hormones are going crazy." "I might just pounce your skinny ass." "Kim, I really don't think we should." "I won't." "I got a giant boogie in my nose." "Look at her saying "I won't"" "with a giant boogie in her nose." "I must have her!" "You know what?" "On second thought..." "Yes?" "Still, I wonder what it'll be like having sex with a pregnant woman." "That was so cool..." "And weird." "Yeah, somebody else liked it, too." "He's going crazy in there." "And now it's disgusting." "The next 3 weeks flew by." "We stayed up nights talking." "We got the place ready for a baby." "And before you knew it, we were a couple again." "Bye." "Bye, Sammy." "Now that Elliot's wedding was only a week away, things were getting tense." "I just don't understand why our families can't sit at the same table." "Keith, it's impossible to fit all the Dudemeister at one table without our wedding looking like Oktoberfest." "Plus, when our families met last month, my mum ended up bonking your uncle Roland in our basement." "Uncle Ronald and aunt Alicia have been together for 30 years!" "Yeah, welcome to my family, Keith." "Look..." "I know that I'm being a bridezilla, so to make it up to you, here's a kiss with extra tongue." "Ok, now go try on that tux that I picked up for you." "Chop, chop!" "Quick like a bunny!" "Hey, and you!" "You are the only one who hasn't R.S.V.P'ed to my wedding yet." "What the hell?" "I didn't know I was invited." "But I sent your invitation to..." "One North Cemetery Drive." "That's the address of the Addams family." " Oh." " I changed my records to mess with Kelso, 'cause he's always calling me Lurch." "It was either that or 1313 Mockingbird Lane." "The Monsters?" "Tv show?" "I'm old." "So can you make it?" "Are you crazy?" "I wouldn't miss it for the world." "Thank you!" "Not a big hugger, but..." "There we go." "There it is." "Things weren't as heartwarming everywhere." "Dr. Cox wasn't exactly super-psyched about me being his daughter's godfather." "Jordan, here some things I rather see happen than Dinkus over there becoming the godfather." "A nuclear war, a sequel to Hope Floats," "Hugh Jackman winning an oscar..." "Yeah, yeah, funny, long list." "We get it." " You need a new thing, big guy." " Huh." "Sweetie!" "Why would i get rid of him as godfather when you keep letting me know how much it bothers you?" "It's like he's never met you." " Right?" " And I love Hope Floats." "Anyone that's going to the christening..." "Not you." "It's at the hospital chapel." "And then Jordan pushed dr." "Cox over the edge by calling their daughter, little Jennifer Dylan, this." "Ok, come on, JD." " Dr. Cox..." " Leave." "Yes." "That goes for everyone." "All living things." "This might not blow over." "Ooh, I gotta hurt someone." "It's amazing how some couples are so close that they can finish each other sentences." "So there we were, hottest day of the year, at the beach, and we're both wearing jeans!" "Isn't that crazy?" " Guess who we run into..." " Also in jeans." "It was dr." "J, Kim!" "And unless you wanna hear this for the next hour please change the subject." "Ok, uh..." "My lease is up on my apartment in Washington, my ob said that my mucus plug is holding firm." "And that's, uh, all I've got." "Ugh." "Why don't you just give up that apartment?" "You said it's so small." "Plus, I think it'd be fun if the baby was around here for a few months." "Ok, i'll give it up." "Incidentally, that's not the first time she's said that today," " if you know what I'm talking about." " Mm-mmh." "I know what you're talking about." "I hit it, and I hit it good." " Yes, you did." " Rowdy style." "We have to look out for that belly, it's dangerous!" "Listen, I have a video that you might be a little interested in watching." " Are you sure?" " Welcome to my world." "Babe, I like this tuxedo more than the one you picked out." "Yeah, it looks really great, Keith." "You know, if you plan on sawing me in half at the altar and yelling "abracadabra!"" "But it's comfortable." "You think that I'm gonna be comfortable in my 5 inch heels and my rib-crushing corset and my nipple tape?" "There will be no poppers in my wedding photos, Keith." "Look, you have to remember this is probably the only time that all of our closest friends and our family are going to be all together in the same room." "So this wedding really isn't about us, ok?" " Ok." " It's about me!" "Now come on, focus!" "There's no "you" in "wedding," huh?" "This is Mr. Cole." "He's in a persistent vegetative state and was admitted with community-acquired pneumonia." "It's most likely related to aspiration, given his prior phrenic nerve paralysis." "His doctor's creepy." " That's his wife." " Oh, right, right." "Men, I've gathered the brain trust because I have been invited to Blond Doctor's wedding." "Now, none of you guys should feel bad because you weren't invited, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you." "It just means that you're not one of her favorite 385 people." " I couldn't make it anyway." " They gotta have a cut off somewhere." "Now, what I need from you is gift ideas." "Impress me." "You could check their registry and get her some nice linens." "Or I could check the boring and get her some boring boring." "What the hell does that mean?" "Oh!" "You know what I got my mom that she really loved?" "That weird birth control thing that they sew under your arm skin!" "Ok, highly disturbing, but you're thinking outside the box." "Oh, yeah." "What's goin' on, guys?" "I didn't get beeped on my special brain trust pager." "This is awkward." "Look, uh, Doug, I'm only comfortable with a 3-man brain trust, and right now, I'm giving Lloyd here a tryout." "I'm gonna have to ask for the pager back." "Thanks, kid." "You can still come to the picnic." "Here you go, Lloyd." "Here's your pager." " Your idea?" " There's this amazing house on my delivery route, with all kinds of valuable stuff and no alarm." " We could rob it." " I'm gonna need that back." "Hold onto this for a little while." "So, it turns out my hospital in Tacoma won't grant me more than a 6-week leave of absence." "Just look for a job here." "I'd love to have my kid in the same city." "Plus, Kelso hates the urologist he hired to replace you." "Are you sure?" "Hey, I love being the new urologist here." "But I'm having some trouble with my peers." "Get it?" "Pee-ers?" "God, I hate you." "I'm pretty sure." "All right, I'll check it out." "Rog, rerun." "Ok, Tina, here's what I'm prepared to offer you to relinquish the post of godfather." "Not interested." "Effective immediately I will stop calling you girl's names." "Interested now?" "I'm still here, aren't I?" " Be strong." "You can get more." " Good thinking." "What else you got, Per-Per?" "I'll give you my real pager number." "I'll be able to page him 24/7!" " No deal." " What are you doing?" "!" "Put a cherry on top." "One hug." "Per week." " Decade." " Month." " Year." " Done." "You're welcome." "And then, as I was about to close the deal of the century..." "It hit me..." "Wait a minute, if I agree to that, I only get that stuff until you retire." "But if I'm godfather, I'm in your life forever." "I'll see you at the christening." "I think this time I'm actually gonna kill him." "Yep." "It's the one." "Babe, should the valets at our reception wear green or red vests?" "Doesn't matter." "Why didn't you just pick one?" "Because I want every detail of our wedding to be exactly the way you want it." "I've never loved you more than I do at this moment." "And I want them to wear green." " Forest, not lime." " Got it." "How did you get him to be like that?" "Did you do that thing all guys want us to do but we swore we'd never do?" "I didn't have to." "He just loves me." "Why, did you?" "I'm saving that bullet for a diamond tennis bracelet." "By the way, Frank's breathing was labored, so i suctioned his airway." "Mrs. Cole, I have to say I am blown away by how you're taking care of your husband." "Especially till 2 years." "Isn't it hard to make yourself do it every day?" "No." "We were married 19 years before his accident." "You're getting married." "You understand that kind of love." "Sorry." "My husband has a little eye-gunk." "Ok, I've got something we can't give her permanently, but I can guarantee she'll enjoy it while she has her hands on it." "No!" "Preemptive strike on the sex joke." "Take a time-out." "What about a nice tour in the wine country?" "Come on, Doug, now you're just embarrassing yourself." "I still don't know what I did." "You're old news, bro." "Just go." "Ok, maybe I didn't make myself clear." "I don't wanna give Blond Doctor just a thing, you know?" "I wanted her married life to be full of joy." "I want to give her happiness." "Well, that's not really up to us." "It's up to him." "We can't control what kind of husband he'll be." "Lloyd, give me those glasses." "Say that again." "Exactly the same way." "We can't control what kind of husband he'll be." "Or can we?" "Dorian?" "Tell your baby mama that she can have her job back." "By the way, I think it's hilarious that you trust her again." "I know, sir." "I got your email." "Well, I'm off to my thinking spot to put the finishing touches on my goddad speech." "A word of advice..." "Bring your hankies." "You can't do this to me." "Perry, I..." "I didn't do this to torture you." "I asked Nancy No-chin to be the godfather because I know deep down you really care about him." "And you know that he would be an excellent godfather for our little girl." " I'll do anything." " Here's what I want." "When I buy matching outfits for you and Jack, you have to wear them." "And I get to go on one movieday with that maitre dee at that new Italian restaurant we go to." "And no asking what happened after I go." " Done." "May I go now?" " Yeah." "Let's see, what rhymes with baptism?" "Faptism, raptism, naptism." "I'm so tired." "I could use a naptism." "And there is my opening joke." "I should write down "Pause for laughs", so I don't forget to." "You!" "You're out as Godfather!" "How did he find my thinking spot?" "I can't believe who they picked to be the new Godfather!" "Look at him over there, all smug and cocky!" "Doodie!" "Doodie to you, sir." "Is that blood on your scrubs?" "Yeah, just got out of surgery!" "What, you gonna get all up in Jesus's face because he don't have his shirt on?" "Perry?" "We forgot to pick out the Godmother." "Who... wants to be the Godmother?" "Put your hand out." "Carla?" "Do the honors." "Yes." " Oh, that's bullsh" " Ssshhh!" " Rabbi?" " Father." "Don't care." "Hit it!" "Whether we think of baptism, we think of commitment." "For when a couple decide to bring a child into the world... or share their lives together..." "It's amazing how quickly panic can set in." "Like panic over whether or not you love your fiance enough." "I've got some gunk in my eye." "Can you get it out for me?" "Uhm..." "Or panic over suddenly finding yourself in too deep." "Look at them!" "Mum, Dad and baby!" "That's gonna be us." "Look, Jen, if you need any legal help concerning your accident you can talk to Jim." "who's a very successful, esteemed bulldog of a lawyer." "Or you can talk to Ted, who... well..." "My mum calls me thunder." "I'll go with the less shiny one." "Tough break, thunder." "You're not my Mum, Jim." "You're not my Mum." "Sorry, Kim, I know I said I'd come straight home but I got stopped covering a shift." "Well, no problem." "I'll wait up for you." "Do you know that half glass of wine my doctor said I'm allowed every night?" "I'm gonna hold off until you get here, because it makes me super randy." "Can't wait." "I really didn't have to cover that shift, but I just needed some time alone." "What are you doing here?" "Hiding from my significant other due to a massive panic attack over the life-altering commitment I'm about to make." "You?" "Same." "I told Keith that I was working tonight here and he went home." "Good night." "Actually, your night has just begun." "I'm getting married in a week, a week." "I mean, what was I thinking being engaged for two months?" "My Mum was engaged for three years." "She had time... to soul search, to figure out if this was right." "To sail around the world with an insatiable Pakistani oil baron." "Why was I in such a hurry?" "Oh, wait, I'll answer for you." "Because I'm the biggest idiot in the whole entire world?" "Really, Elliot?" "The biggest?" "Because few weeks ago I got back together with the woman who lied to me, about being pregnant with my child." "You should also know that even though I promised myself that I was gonna take it slow" "I convinced her to give up her appartment, quit her job, move in with me, and start working here." "Why?" "I don't know." "I'm just realizing right now that I did all of that." "I just wish there was a test I could take to tell me if I'm doing the right thing." "I mean, look at Turk and Carla." "They are so meant to be together." "You spend one minute with them and you know that." "They just have this amazing give and take." "Don't you love this tennis bracelet?" "That was awesome!" "I'm going through the same things you are, except I'm also having a baby." "So imagine your situation multiplied by..." "what's a fair number?" "A hundred billion?" "Why it is so important to you that your freak-out is better than mine?" "I'm a story topper, Elliot, you know that about me." "When I was a kid I had a friend like that, he drove me crazy." "When I was a kid I also had a friend like that except he snapped and start playing hide the peanut butter with my dog whiskers." "You, my friend, have just been story topped." "I will kill you." "How am I supposed to handle a relationship and a kid at the same time?" "I don't know." "Dr. Cox and Jordan are totally dysfunctional but they seem to make it work." "Wow!" "You guys look great!" "I'm gonna get the photographer." "Jordan, I hate this." "Why?" "I would think an arrogant ass like you would love having his very own clone." " Up yours, Bobo." " Yeah, up yours Bobo." "Outstanding." "Come." "Ok, incredibly handsome guy, you are about to marry Blond doctor." "My gift to her is to train you to be a good husband." "Well,..." "I think I'm ok." "Really?" "would you know what to do if she suddenly woke up" "That's ridiculous." "It's that what you gonna say?" "When she looks at you with those big blue eyes and cries out:" "l-m-t-k-p-k-l-t-s" "Look, if I learned one thing from my parents is this:" "The key to a good marriage is keeping your emotions bottled up until they finally explode and you have to lash out physically." " D'you mean... beat each other up?" " I mean beat yourself up." "My mother once snapped her own index finger because my father was late for church." "She turned at the car he threw himself down the stairs." "Boys, anything?" "Whatever you do, don't go bald." "Lloyd, anything?" "Yeah, I'm still not sure who Elliot is." "Oh, come on!" "This guy sucks." "The thing that freaked me out was watching this woman wipe eye gunk off her brain-dead husband." "I mean, I don't think I can't spend 2 years wiping eye gunk off Keith's brain dead face." "Elliot, they were married for like 20 years before that guy was on a coma." "I'm sure once you and Keith had that much time together you'll feel differently." "Still, maybe we are freaking out about nothing, you know?" "Maybe we are with the right people." "Really?" "I don't know." "Last night Kim and I had a moment that made me think we are perfect for each other." "Argh, this salad has beets." "Do you like beets?" " I hate beets." " Me too!" "We're both beet-haters." " You know, people is all passionate about beets." " JD?" "JD!" "A mutual hatred of beets is not enough to base a relationship on." "I know, Elliot but you interrupted my flash back." "After the beets conversation I confided in Kim that I was really scared about... being a doctor and being a dad at the same time because both of those things require the throw of all of yourself into them." "And she was amazing, she really...calmed me down and made me feel good about it." "Oh." "Plus we both really hate beets." "You know, Keith is pretty incredible?" "I've never felt this love in my entire life." "Let's face it.." "Keith would walk through fire for me." "Yeah, I'm not walking through fire to prove my love to Elliot." "I find that a little suspect." "Still, I suppose we could switch to some role playing." "Here is the scenario." "You have just come home from work late," "Blond doctor made you dinner and she's angry because you didn't call ahead." "Plus you've brought along with you, Lance, your gay ultimate freesbie buddy, played by Todd." " I should probably take my pants off." " Wait for your cue." "And Ted, you'll be playing Blond doctor." "Get in the character." "Ok, falling in love with you, long blond hair... talking very fast, talking very fast, frick, frick... ok, I'm ready." "Good." "Ok, ready and..." "Action!" "Todd, did you hear a cue?" " It's just..." " That's it!" "Look..." "The only person I have to prove my love to is Elliot." "And I plan on doing that every day for the rest of my life." "I'm done here." " Shall we go and get him?" " No, haven't you heard what he just said?" "He's gonna be a great husband and you know why?" "Because we got him there." "We really got brain trust." "Hands in." " Not you Lloyd." "You're out." " I figured." "One, two, three..." "Braintrust!" "Why are you wearing scrubs?" "I haven't seen you in those in like two years." "I didn't wanna get my christening dress wrinkly." "That was the only thing I had in my locker." "I like you in the scrubs." "It reminds me when we used to date." "It was a disaster!" " All of it?" " No!" "If anything, maybe we were perfect for each other." "We just had the same fatal flow." "You mean that whenever we get too close to a commitment we totally freak out and try to escape?" "That's what we've been doing here all night, right?" "Besides I've thought about it and there's no escape in this one." "The gifts are all here." "People bought plane tickets." "I'm getting married." " I've reached the point of no return." " You and me both." "I mean, to get out of this, I'd have to do something huge." "I'd have to go nuclear." "So there we were." "Together..." "But not together." "And as always..." "Not knowing what the hell we were doing." "Hey." "Hey."