"Vienna leads 5:2" "The game is over." "Austria defeats Hungary." "Say, have you heard?" "Our Charles sure beat the hell outta them!" "Our Charles won!" "Gimme a break with your Charles already!" "Just cause he's the janitor's nephew, doesn't mean" "I'm gonna start rooting for sports!" "The President of Vienna's sports association walks toward Charles Boulla..." "Mr President, over here, please." "It is a great honour for me, Mr Charles Boulla, to be shaking your hand," "You are the pride of our town and of our nation." "And of our house." "What a gratifying prospect," "A cheering sight for our youth," "Madame should put on weight..." "I can't fit in her clothes anymore." "Why don't you tell her that?" "See?" "My Charles made a name for himself!" "Oh, one more, one less" " I won't be less faithful for it." "And now I hand the mike over to Mr Charles Boulla." "Mr President..." "I'm very happy" "My team mates and myself, we hope... to do better next time." "And I thank you Mr President, for this honour," "The honour is all mine..." "The broadcast of the football match is now over, our next show starts in 10 minutes." "There!" "Bon appetit, Mr Podoletz!" "And the horseradish?" "Have you forgotten the horseradish?" "Forget it... with your constitution..." "Are you going out, Miss Poldi?" "Yes, my sister is having a baby." "So I have to find the father." "I've got it!" "My system works!" "So, Mr Podoletz..." "Are you staying in on a Sunday?" "Hush!" "Not so loud, Mr Berger!" "I owe 2 months rent!" "When I go out, she locks me out, and I can't get back in, get it?" "Do you know who I am, Mr Berger?" "A former lawyer, right?" "A former lawyer...." "I'm a voiceless Caruso... a Raphael with no hands.... a sprinter with no legs..." "Mr Berger...." "I just discovered a foolproof method to win big at Monte-Carlo." "But I haven't got a red cent to gamble..." "Are you sure, Mr Podoletz?" "Oh yeah, I'm sure!" "Here." "See that bag?" "This month alone, I made 17 million... beans." "It's the world's greatest tragedy." "There will be better times, Mr Podoletz!" "Charles has done it again!" "Beautiful, isn't it?" "It's pretty isnt' it?" "Perfect taste!" "Do you think he'll like it?" "Certainly!" "Say, Monsieur...." "Won't you speak to Charles?" "You're the only person he listens to." "He's so flamboyant playing football, but.... so cold about love." "Dear young lady," "I sell seats, not fiancees." "That's your business." "Come wait in here, miss..." "Charles will be right over." "Miss..." "I believe Charles will declare to you today." "Oh you think so?" "Then I must wear my new dress!" "The bosses are gone, we can settle right here." "Ah you're so mischievous - if they could only hear you!" "Mrs........." "Is my red and gold dress ready?" "Course not!" "I ain't working miracles!" "I told you, tonight, soonest!" "And I told you right now, latest!" "This is for you." "That's nice." "Mr Charles...." "Oh I'm sorry Miss, but today's sunday..." "So I cannot bother with any iron or ironing board..." "Say, Mr Charles!" "I've got 2 tickets to the movies!" "A cool movie!" "Shall we go together?" "I haven't got the time, love." "Oh... and yet I'm no ironing board, am I!" "I'm well endowed...." "Oh!" "My Charles!" " So, you worked well?" " Yeah!" "I kicked the ball with my head in the second half-time, shouda seen it...." "You've seen the poster?" "Yes." " And you liked it?" " Yes, yes." "Whatever is that?" "It's Teddy... he wants to stretch his legs." "So what?" "So what, so what...." "Do you love me, Adolph?" "If he only pees, it'll be alright..." "I'll be cleaning it anyway..." "Adolph, Adolph!" "So...." "I'll let you chat, eh?" " I'm back on duty" " I'll go with you" "Oh stay a while longer..." " I'm expected at the club - no" "Just a while longer..." "Sure he has time!" "You bet he does!" "Well, Bretzel!" "You've been drinking again!" "No officer!" "Only alcohol!" "Nothing but alcohol!" "Please Miss...." "I have to change clothes, I have to wash..." "Change?" "Wash?" "Oh how well-built you must be...." "You don't expect me to take my pants off in front of you, do you?" "now really!" "Oh if it were just for me..." "But you are so refined..." "Say what?" "So refined...." "The tenors were out of tune..." "But the choir was marvelous!" "What choir?" "Oh, the choir!" " I don't like this choir much" " You have no ear" " On the contrary, I have too much ear" " Sure, too much ear... for the dancers..." "I only have eyes for you, my darling!" "Not just eyes, my man, I know..." "Oooh, watch out, the bosses are here!" "Was there someone here?" "Course not, Madam!" "Only Teddy... and I had to shoo him out a few times...." "You didn't beat him, did you?" "Course not, Madam!" "Beat so nice a dog, why...." "Good Millie, you can go to bed." "Good night, Madame." "What's that?" "That's Teddy!" "He whines sometimes in his sleep..." "He has nightmares, poor angel..." "Hurry up!" "You've eaten enough!" "Quick!" "Shoo!" "Don't forget to put your shoes back on!" "Cause if you catch cold I'll be the one with the sniffles!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "I'm telling you to stop!" "A thief in my house!" "Police!" "Are you mad?" "What are you doing?" "Why I'm listening to a boxing fight in New York!" "In the middle of the night?" "Course not!" "In the middle of the day!" "Yeah, just as I said: you're a nutcase!" "It's daytime over there!" "That's why it's in America!" "But not here!" "Go on to bed!" "And no more radio at night, or else...." "Where do you come from?" "Who have you robbed?" "Nobody!" "Not only I didn't snatch anything --- I'm bringing something..." " What?" " I'm bringing Millie's engagement ring." "I wanted to try it on..." "Try it on?" "Honest people do that in the daytime." "You fancy yourself in America as well?" "Ah my poor girl, what d'you expect?" "One must know what one wants in life!" "Either you're in love, either you're a maid!" "Whenever you see a man you're out of control!" "See where that leads you!" "You change jobs every 8 days." "Take my word for it:" "The best of men is no match for a good job." "One is entitled to one's private life!" "A private life...." "Save it for when you're 50... 50?" "Oh my poor girl..." "You won't get a country house anytime soon..." "You dirty squealer, you..." "Watch it..." "I'll stroke your ribs." "Out you go." "Your suitcase is ready." "So I'm being thrown out, without even my 8 days notice?" "Madame is the only one who has the right to be in love?" "It's your 4th husband, already!" "Another word and I'll call the police!" "My stomach strikes a quarter to twelve could you bring me something to eat?" "Madame has locked it all up." "Even the shoepolish and the black soap." "She's afraid I'm gonna eat those..." "Run along to the cafe to fetch me some sausages and a pint." "No, you're out of credit." "Give me those beans of yours." "I'll cook them for you." "My beans?" "My beans are not for eating, miss." "They're my work tools." "This bag is worth 50 million." "It's sacred." "I wouldn't touch it if I were stranded on "Le Radeau de la Meduse"." "Yeah, well you'll have to eat nails then." "Nails?" "One moment." " Here's the coffee." " Thank you!" "Hock these for me." "At the pawnhouse." "With the jacket you can bring me back two sausages." "And the pants are worth a pint." "You don't pay your rent!" "And you're out and about naked!" "Don't pull so hard Madam, what about decency?" "You're a debauched woman." "Since when do widows strip bachelors?" "What was your last position?" "I worked for a bachelor for two years." "No, Mr Berger, she won't do." "Do you have anyone else?" "Sure I do!" "Mr Berger's office?" "Over there, miss." "Thank you my lad." "Hello Mr Berger." "Mademoiselle de Ferstel..." "What a pleasant surprise!" "I've very happy to see you." "Come on right in!" "Thank God!" "You recognized me!" "How could I forget you?" "You, Dr Ferstel's daughter!" "I was his patient for 20 years." "Ah your father..." " He was a doctor..." " Forgive me, Mr Berger, but..." "You're here for another reason, miss?" "I've guessed it:" "Madame your mother needs another maid." "It takes quite a bit of doing to give Madame your mother satisfaction." " Mother is dead." " Oh my God!" "Such a beautiful and buxom woman!" "Mrs Binder..." "My compliments, Madame." "You have dismissed Milly?" "At the moment I don't have anyone for you." "A masseur..." "In your bed?" "Unbelievable." "Mr Berger will do the impossible." "You're welcome, Madame." "So." "How can I be of assistance, Mademoiselle?" "A maid?" "A cook?" "A chauffeur?" "I'm the one looking for a position, Mr Berger." "You?" "Oh." "Poverty is no vice" "But I thought you were a student" "Mr Berger hasn't lost his head" "I'm a doctor, I graduated 4 months ago." "You're a doctor!" "What do you think about my rhumatism?" "I'm no medical doctor!" "I'm a history and geography professor." "It doesn't matter" "It's not bad either." "But now it's the holidays." "I won't find a position as a professor" "For another 4 or 5 months." "In the meantime," "I'm looking for a job - anything will do." "Surely as a housekeeper or as companion?" "It's difficult." "Good houses are getting scarce." "Ah well...." "Mr Berger will do the impossible." "Do not be discouraged." "But Mr Berger I need a position!" "I need one right now!" "I don't even know where I'm sleeping tonight!" "Good Lord, what's a matter with you?" "Give me some water, please." "Thank you." "I seldom eat in the morning." "And seldom at noon, and seldom in the evening..." "Take it." "Oblige me." "If you don't drink it, I will." "And it's poison to my rhumatism." "Come on, be a good girl." "Drink it." "Thank you." "I feel better." "I don't lack energy, you know." "I've tried everything, I've tackled the impossible." "I've slept at a good woman's house, on her couch." "But she couldn't pay her rent and she was expelled." "I don't want to work the streets." "And the river..." "I won't do it..." "Not yet." "I'm sure it'll be ok." "I'm looking for a good position, I'll find it in a few months time." "But until then, one has to earn a living." " Sad times..." " Mr Berger..." "You received a telephone call earlier..." "You're not serious!" "It's no position for you!" "A maid..." "Mrs Binder?" "You're in luck!" "I've got what you need." "A gem, a real gem!" "Can she wait at table?" "Admirably so." "Better than Rastelli." "Can she iron?" "Marvelously." "Laundry as smooth as an ice rink." "Certificates?" "Perfect." "Mr Berger will vouch for it!" "That's settled then." "Goodbye, Madame." "You're very kind, Madame." "Old camel..." "Well..." "And now, your certificates." " Your name is..." " Marie" "Splendid!" "I've had those papers for 2 years." "Marie Kruschina, born in Biala." "You'll have to commit all that to memory." "But Mr Berger, that's a fake!" "A God who allows someone like you to starve will easily forgive Mr Berger." "There you go." "Grapes even... because of the fig leaf?" "They took the clothes" "But they wouldn't take the shoes" "Because they had no soles." "They told me this was not the place to bring them, but to the cobbler." "What did you do with the shoes then?" "Well just what they told me to!" "I took them to the cobbler." "And the money?" "Why..." "I gave it to the cobbler!" "Or else he'd never have agreed to repair them!" "Jeez, what a dimwit!" "SHE's the one I should have hocked!" "Ah?" "I'll go then!" "Where are you going?" "To the Binder's" "Servants have to use the backstairs." "With or without luggage, it's the backstairs, always." "Let me carry your suitcase, Miss." "Oh I can do it myself." "Don't worry, you won't have to tip me." "I do this for your pretty eyes." "You must know me: my name's Boulla." " Boulla, Charles Boulla" " No" " You don't read the sports pages in the papers?" " No." "Well you should." "I certainly do." "Say, the doorman, there..." "He's my uncle." "So if you want, I can have you ride the elevator." "I can just as well use the stairs." "As you wish, Miss." "But I'll tell you one thing." "A milliner used to live here, and a pretty one she was, too." "And one year, it was on the 31st of December," "The two of us were stranded in the elevator all night." "You'll believe me or you won't," "But she still says that this was the best New Year's Eve of her life." "Too bad you're on the first floor." "That's high enough to be stuck in the elevator, though." "All that in the name of morality?" "Well that's a pretty morality..." "Some reputation you give this house..." "Reputation?" "You'd better watch yours instead, you hussy!" "Old cow you..." "What a crummy joint...." "I'm not sorry to leave, I'll tell ya..." "And you won't stay here long, either..." "Bye Charles!" " Something wrong?" " You bet there is!" "It's here." "Thank you." "Good bye, Miss." " Good morning" " Good morning, who are you?" "I'm the new maid." "I'd like to see Madame." "Don't you be in a hurry." "You'll see her soon enough." "And who are you?" "Use your head." "You enter a kitchen and see a big old momma daubing the dough..." "Who can it possibly be?" "The cook, right?" " Are you making fun of me?" " Oh not at all!" "Ah." "Well I'm glad." "My name's Poldi." "And you?" "Marie Kruschina." "Born in Biala." "Well, take my word for it:" "I've been in this house 7 years." "I've outlasted 18 maids." "Five hair colours, four dogs and three husbands." "Here: eat if you're hungry." "Here you're entitled to half of the leftovers." "The other half belongs to me, and I save it for someone who is dear to me." "Ah, the new maid." "I see you've already made yourself at home!" "I hope you'll familiarize yourself with the broom as quickly!" "Madame, I gave it to her!" "I'm delighted to see you two get along." "Your certificates." "I hope you'll behave well." "Mr Berger has vouched for you." "I might as well tell you at once that there's nothing to steal in my house." " Oh but..." " Oh I don't mean you..." "I know you're a perfectly decent girl." "But so far all the others have robbed me." "One more, the other less..." "on the whole, rather more." "And if you bring a man to the appartment I'll fire you." "But I...." "I don't mean you..." "I know you're a perfectly decent girl." "But so far, all the girls have done it." "Do you wave your hair?" "No Madame." "My hair is naturally wavy." "And naturally, from tomorrow on, it won't be waving anymore." "Once per week, you'll take a bath." "Splashing yourself with my perfume won't make you clean." "I would like to take a bath twice weekly." "Why sure... and in way of bathtubs, when you're outside," "It's in a theatre or cinema booth." "That's the first test." "Those who don't jump at once get fired." "Ah, one more thing." "I have a dog." "A darling little dog." "You are to walk it 3 times a day patiently." "Not along walls mind you, he hates walls." "And with the grocers' habit of putting their array there," "Why the other day, I had to pay for a basket full of peaches." "Oh that's terrible!" "Who asked for your opinion?" "Why do you sigh?" "You know, here the servants are treated as well as family members." "She's just as bitchy with her husband as she is with us!" "Why hide it?" "This is a nut house!" "The bosses are the patients, and we're the wardens." "As far as she's concerned," "For now she's only slightly cuckoo." "She's very fine." "Too fine." "She won't be here 3 days." " Is she staying, that one?" " Yeah she's staying, that one!" "Madame?" "Oh so you're in charge of the elevator now?" " It's not your nephew anymore?" " He's at practice." "Fine, I'll take the stairs then." "Business is going well, I see!" "Thank you, not bad." " How about yours?" " Oh it's the crisis." "Why of course..." "Serves you right." "How do you expect people to feel sorry for you?" "You ain't got a violin." " And you're way too chic!" " I... too chic?" "Are you NUTS?" "It was clean!" "Who sent you those lovely flowers?" " Francois the First" " Who?" "Francois, my first husband." "He just can't get over me, this man." "Philippe The Second sent me chocolate turds..." "And Charles the Third a crate of Champagne." " And your present husband?" " Henry the 4th?" "He gave me a bag." "Henry the Fourth is practical." "He has good taste but he's stingy." "Oh you can't complain." "You've got the good life." "You own the appartment, as well as the house." "And your place is a bit like a hairdresser's salon..." ""will the next gentleman come forth!"" "They all adore me." "And when things go wrong I get a divorce." "When my husband cheats on me, he gives me tulips." "And when I cheat on him..." "I bake him an apple pie." "Apples are the only fruit you can find at any season." "He must be fed up with it." "Charles is here with the tickets to the game." "Why are you telling me?" "Where is the maid?" "She's unpacking... it will take a while." "It won't take as much time to pack her things." "Pay him and thank him on my behalf." "Oh have him come in!" "I'd like to see him upclose." "If it amuses you..." " Poldi have him come in." " Yes, Madame." "Say, if you want I can get you a free ticket for our match on Sunday." "These are 50 Franc seats..." "Thank you, but I don't like football." "Hey Mr Charles, the ladies want to see you." "Ah... see?" "The ladies..." "At least they like football!" "Come in!" "Here are the tickets, Madame Mardaillan." "Thank you." "Won't you sit down?" "Sitting down won't hurt." "Mr Boulla is our national champion." "Oh, who doesn't know Mr Charles!" "Our great champion!" "My, you seem so strong!" "You must have muscles!" "Ah the arms are nothing..." "This is where it matters... cause football is played with legs..." "It sure ain't fake!" "I guess there's gonna be apple pie for dinner..." "Will you take pity, Madame, on a poor unfortunate..." "Thank you." "Here, take my rifle." " Clean it for me." " Yes Monsieur Le Baron." "My respects, M. Le Baron." "Drunk again!" "Always, always." " Say, what have you shot?" " A hare and two gamekeepers!" " Say what?" " Two gamekeepers!" "They were completely drunk!" " They took lead shots" " My God..." "What have you got against drunks?" "And why did you kill those poor hares?" "Charity, Madame, please." "Oh my God, you poor man, you're in rags!" "Wait here my friend..." "Here..." "There you go." "Good day!" "Why, the honour's all mine, Mister Mardaillan." "Mr Charles came to give us tickets to his football match" "And Helene wanted to make his acquaintance." " Sure, well stay seated then" " Thank you." "Since the ladies had you come over." "You'll have a drink, won't you?" " A little drink..." " No, thank you, never before a match." "Hear hear, there's the sportive spirit for you!" "I'd have one if it wasn't for the match." "But later when the coach inspects the team, he's gonna check my breath." "So it's a bit tricky, you see." "Go walk the dog." "My shoes were badly polished again today." "Let that happen once more and I'll sack you." "But it's not Milly, Mr Mardaillan." "Oh, indeed you're right." "Why do you let yourself be scolded without saying anything?" "It's alright." "Monsieur's shoes will be clean tomorrow." "Thank you." "I'll deduct this from your wages, girl!" "Oh, Madame, you would have taken pity too, he was in rags." "Please take pity, Madame, on a poor unfortunate..." "Come on in." " Take pity..." " Come on in!" "I have no family" "Go behind the screen." "Are you deaf?" "I'm telling you to go behind the screen!" "And now..." " Take your pants off." " But..." "Take your pants off immediately and hand them to me over the screen." "Oh what a circus, my poor Mr Podoletz!" "Just like in paradise..." "I'm naked and I bite the apple." "They're good, you know." "Three francs the pound." "And you sell them back for 4 francs..." "What do you take me for?" "A thief?" "The radio gives the rate everyday." "Quick, Poldi!" "Monsieur wants his breakfast immediately, he wants to go out!" "What do you mean, "immediately"?" "I don't get it!" "And what are you fretting about?" "You never heard a bell ring before?" "In a minute your pants will be as good as new." "There you go." "I am not rich," "So I give charity in kind." "I am a seamstress." "Here... now you won't walk around in rags anymore." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "So... you're not coming to the opera with me?" "No." "I have a headache." "You always have something." "Like Francois the First did." "And Wagner gets on my nerves." "Your ear is as bad as Philippe the Second's." "Bye." "Have fun." " When are you leaving?" " Tomorrow, probably." "How many times do we have to ring for you?" "Don't forget to walk the dog!" "And no bonding!" "Neither you nor the dog!" "Hand me my slippers, please." "Undo the bed, please." "Hand me my pajamas." "What are you waiting for?" "May I go out?" "Why?" "You look frightened!" "Is it because I'm undressing?" "Oh no!" "Good night, Monsieur." "Marie!" "Pour me some more wine." "Two fingers high." "You've been calling me, Monsieur?" "You call this half full?" "I'll say it's half empty!" "Understood?" "I said two fingers high." "I didn't mean your fingers, but mine!" "What a lovely skin you have..." " A bit of seltz water?" " Sure." "Thank you." "But why are you always running off like that?" "I have work to do." "Funny girl." "How so?" "How so?" "Why because you're so thin, so pretty..." " So appetizing..." " Let me go!" "Oh, dear girl, your virtue's quite safe!" "It's not in my habits to frolic about with servants." "You may go." "Come now, I didn't mean to insult you." "And on your first night here try and get a good night sleep." "Make sweet dreams..." "Dream of me..." "Good night, Monsieur." "Give me a light please, Mr Charles." "You'll set yourself on fire, with what you've been drinking." "I should snort cocaine to please you!" "You'd better be doing Glauber's Salt..." "Oh, Mr Charles!" "I haven't seen you all day." "I have a lot of work to do." "Take a good look at me, Mr Charles." "You see nothing striking?" " No" " You don't notice anything?" " Why... no." " I have a new dress on!" "What do you want me to do about it?" " Good evening" " Who is it?" "Oh, it's you?" "Will you sit with me on the bench for a bit?" "I'm leaving!" "I'm leaving!" "I wouldn't want to disturb you!" " Are you coming?" " Oh leave my hand alone!" "I get it..." "I'm not cute enough..." "If you only saw the kind of letters all the women send me... saying I'm a "God of sports", the "Belvedere's Apollo"..." "My picture's in all the papers, you don't seem to have a clue...." "There's even a picture of me with the Prince of Wales." "You bet!" "We're there, the two of us, he shakes my hand like we're buddies..." "You don't believe me?" "It's no joke!" "I'll show it to you, I have it right here!" "Here it is." "Here" ""The football chronic"." ""Mister Charles Boulla"" ""avenges team with an amazing skill"" "Say, you read English well!" "And you're all that well-travelled?" "Why yes, with the team, we've been to Rome..." "Amsterdam, St-Ouin, Paris..." " Paris?" "You've been to Paris?" " Yes." "It was beautiful, wasn't it?" "That day we played an ordinary match." "But have you seen the "Place de la Concorde"?" " The "Place de la Concorde"!" " Oh sure!" "That's where Napoleon is buried!" "No no, that's in the "Invalides"." " I got it mixed up... it's so old" " And have you been to the Louvre?" "That I did!" "I bought a pair of suspenders... still have them!" "No, not the shop, the museum!" "Ah, museums... you know, I like more lively things." "Women, for example." "But with an unknown woman you can't..." "Well, it depends..." "I certainly can..." "Let go of me!" "Let go of me!" "Right now!" "Let me go!" "Let me go!" "What's going on?" "Nothing." "I'm showing her a Pankration hold." " What?" " It means "catch me as you can"" "Be careful won't you?" "The hatbox is upside down" "You'll ruin all my hats!" "And watch over the dog!" "And over Monsieur as well." "Goodbye, Henry." "Now there's a gentleman." "I'm merely a country bumpkin." "He only has eyes for that snooty missy since she showed up." "He won't even look at me anymore." "Yeah, well... that snooty girl won't be here long." "As true as I'm a town sergeant." "Hey, Mr Charles!" "Could you lend me 10 francs?" "Ah, bad timing, Mr Podoletz." "I'm broke these days." "Yet you do make money." "Just for running after a ball, like a bunch of kids." "And kicking it around." "I too kicked a ball once, but it cost me 100 francs." "It was my landlord's butt." "Could you at least let me have 5 francs?" "Five francs?" "All right I'll give you a 5 franc bill, but that's a return ticket..." "How is it going, Miss?" "It's tough, Mr Berger." "More than I thought it would be." "Be patient, Miss." "Mr Berger doesn't forget you." "So Miss Marie... still sulking?" "Don't be mad at me... you know I'm the sportive type" "So I go right for the goal." "But we're not on a football field." "You see?" "It's a football field alright." "You're as much a kid as they are!" "And you'll see what a good kid I am" "Hanging around that good-for-nothing again?" "You're with her all the time, then?" "Why do you call her a good-for-nothing?" "Haven't you noticed her hands and nails?" "Always clean" "Even when she takes the trash out." "There's something fishy about that." "For the last time, Mr Podoletz, when will you pay me your rent?" "I'm no prophet." "You don't want to pay me." "Sure I do!" "Will you pay your rent, yes or no?" "My good woman, I have two aunts." "One of them took me everything including my pants." "The other is recovering and I'm her only heir." "You won't have me murder my aunt, will you?" "You'll hear from me." "I will take action." "That's it." "Take action." "You're a real songbird, Mr Podoletz" "You're whistling like a caged blackbird." " The old hag took off" " Well let's fly away then!" "My boss gave me the day off." "Let's go for a spin together." "I can't." "My wings have been clipped." "Wait..." "Monsieur has a suit he no longer wears." "I'll lend it to you." "I'll say you're a Woman, with a capital "W"." "Ooh, Mr Podoletz" "How smart you look!" "This suit looks like it was tailor made for you." " Everything fits me." " Why... with your natural chic" " That's my special charm" " Oh, Mr Podoletz..." "What a flirt you are!" "I've charmed so many already." "Today's the cook's day off, right?" "Yes Monsieur." "I'll be dining out then." "I'll be back around 10." "Good evening." "Good evening." "Beautiful." "But it's from England, I don't understand." "I'll translate it for you." "That's right, you speak English very well" "But come closer, because I won't hear anything from there" ""My love, I am lonesome"" "Come on in" ""The years are so long"" ""I love only you"" ""Only you and your song"." " That's a pretty song" " Very pretty" "Especially if you understand the lyrics" "Say, you've learned a lot" "Oh I used to have the time" "Me, you know, outside of sports..." "When I was in school, the teacher used to say:" ""Boulla's dense." "Can't make him understand anything"." "He was wrong." "There's always a way to make yourself understood." "It's a question of method." "Oh you think?" " Even with a blockhead like me?" " Yes" "I warn you, my head's as thick as a football." "So you'll have to give me lessons every night." "I'm willing to." "I'm free everyday after dinner." "You are?" "Marie!" "Hey, Monsieur, are you looking for Marie?" "She's downstairs, with Mr Charles." "Who's asking you?" "But I can't teach you everything myself." "You'll have to make an effort." " I'll bring you books" " Oh but I have some" "Arsene Lupin, Nick Carter, Buffalo Bill..." "Not those books!" "I'll lend you others." "Is Marie here?" " Marie?" " Yes." "Yes Monsieur." "Oh, Marie?" "Why yes, she was walking the dog." "And the dog remained upstairs." "Coincidence..." "Odd." "Come" "If I give you my permission you can do it!" "I own the house." "Here's another one who wants a lesson." "So you spend your evenings with this lad?" "Monsieur told me he'd be back at 10." " I have to report to you, now?" " No Monsieur." "Good evening Monsieur." "Miss Marie!" "What is it?" "How many L's are there in "jealous"?" "Only one!" "One?" "Ah, that's one too many for me." "Why do you lock yourself in, Marie?" "What does Monsieur want?" "Nothing in particular" "But you interest me particularly." "I cannot hide it from you..." "I fancy you." "What would you say to us going for a ride together?" "In my car..." "Mystery and discretion." "No-one would ever know." "Well thank you!" "If I ever go out with a man I expect him to be proud about it." "I can't explain behind this door..." "But you're not meant to be a maid" "I'll settle you in a little flat" "And you'll have all the dresses you want." "This locked door is unnerving!" "It prevents you from understanding" "Don't worry, I understand you just fine." "No no, don't take your pants off" "You'll hand it to me over the balcony tomorrow" "Ah, Poldi." "You can say our two souls penetrate each other" "Oh, Mr Podoletz, be decent" " Don't be so fussy!" " Let me sleep!" "Be reasonable, what the hell..." "Oh go to your room already!" "That's exactly what I want to do, Marie, but you've locked the door!" " Oh it's you, Poldi!" " Yes!" "Good evening, Mary" "Each week carries 7 days" "Each day brings its sorrows... its pleasures... its loves..." "Rich or poor, it's the same tune" "And the hours bring aboutr the days" "And the days bring about the months" "And in turn, the years melt away" "Like yesteryear's snow" "Time marches on mercilessly" "Leaving in its trail only happiness for our dreams, and pain for our songs." "Say, Charles, a little card game?" "I can't, uncle." "You're reading that girl's books morning noon and night" " What are you reading?" " Madame Bovary." " Madame what?" " Bovary!" "I say someone who keeps his nose in books all the time doesn't have a clear conscience." "Is this the residence of Mr Maximilien Podoletz, Esquire?" " Yes, what do you want with him?" " He's being evicted." "You brought this on yourself, Mr Podoletz" "You're getting evicted!" "You have no heart, Mrs Schutz" "You push me over the precipice" "For the rest of your life" "You'll carry the horrible responsibility of my downfall." "Mr Podoletz is being evicted!" "There's even a policeman" "Shame on you!" "Throwing this poor soul in the street!" "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, it's not my fault." "Madame is to blame." "How barbaric, throwing a man out in the street like that" "Here, take Monsieur's suit, I'm giving it to you." "I told him it was moth-eaten." "Go dress in the attic." "Aren't you ashamed to throw out such a fine, distinguished man?" "It's not distinction I expect from him!" "Mr Podoletz hung himself!" "Mr Podoletz hung himself!" "Oh had I only imagined this" "I'd rather have lost my rent's money" "I would have given him lodging for free." "Then I'll stay here a while longer, since it pleases you." "Oh you scared me!" "Here's what you'll do:" "You're going to my village, in Spitz." "Wonderful." "I'll water the flowers." "That's my special talent." "Nobody waters flowers like I do." "You'll be watching over my farm and you'll be my manager." "Miss Poldi, you have a farm?" "I own 1/8 of the village bull." "Can you give me a proof of the rotundity of the Earth?" "Well, you can tell the Earth is round" "When you're by the sea and you watch a boat leave." "First you see the whole boat" "Then you see the chimneys" "The smoke" "And nothing at all." "And I'll be in a funk if you're on the boat." "But luckily, I have one more chance." "Since the Earth is round," "I can see you come back around the other side." "Will you be serious?" "After all you shouldn't be a maid, You should have been a teacher." " Pah... think so?" " Why... yes." "Come to think of it... no." "My school teacher was very ugly." "She had warts, a pince-nez and fake teeth." "You must at least have fake teeth." "No." "You're too pretty." "But not severe enough!" "Or you wouldn't be so unruly!" "Don't you want to progress at all?" "Frankly..." "Yes." "But in friendship." "One minute." "What's that?" "It's a stroller." "What's the plank for?" "That's because of the dust." "But this child will choke!" "Oh no, it's quite safe." "This toddler hasn't even been wrapped." "Sure he has, in newspapers, two layers of it even." "That's crazy!" "You must be joking." "Don't touch the plank." "Whose baby is he?" " Why... yours and mine!" " Don't be a fool!" "Let me have a look at this baby." "You want to see him?" "What have you done?" "Oh you're impossible!" "In between classes, there's time for the refectory, no?" "Why are you carrying this kid?" "He's heavy!" "I gave Charles the stroller for him to get it fixed." "Get used to carrying the kid around then..." "Charles is with Marie." "You don't slurp anymore?" "No more slurping." "But don't raise your little finger, it is not elegant." "It isn't?" "Like that?" "On the first day, I knew it was 4 o'clock when you were drinking your coffee." "I heard you from above." "You were listening?" "Nice." "I can do it again so you know it's coffee time." "Oh you don't have to." "Like that?" "Smells good." "A peach was good enough for me, why are you giving me a pineapple?" "Arsene Lupin was good enough for me, why are you giving me Madame Bovary?" "If you'll that for us, Mr Bretzel, I'll buy you a pint." " Me too" " Me too" "For three pints..." "You can have me eat my broomstick." "You're not eating, Charles" "How do you manage not to put your elbows on the table?" "I can't help it, they keep coming back." "Just a sec" "There... now give it a try" "It's working now." "Can't you arrange them a little better?" "This will do fine." "Don't tuck your napkin around your neck." "Well I don't know..." "help me will you?" ""I think about you constantly"" ""Memory of you has me in despair"" ""I know not yet what force pushed me towards you"" ""For one does not fight the heavens"" ""And one does not resist the smile of angels"" "That's Madame Bovary!" "You've learned it by heart?" "What I wouldn't do..." "For three pints..." ""At night, every night, I watched your house"" ""The roof shining under the moon"" ""You did not suspect that there was, so close..."" ""and so far away..."" ""a wretched soul"" "Short circuit!" "Short circuit!" "My, what a job I have..." "Contact has just been made and boom, short-circuit." "The "letter stunt"..." "I see right through it, I wasn't born yesterday." ""Oh I MUST post that letter at once!"" " Do you want me to go?" " Course not!" "It's his little scheme to stay here alone with you." "I'll give you some advice:" "If you go for it, might as well hit the jackpot." "Me, for example:" "I only have one kid." "But there are 4 fathers to pay me the allimony." "I really don't care..." "But to think of Madame finding out..." "I would make my day." "Paula has a good dowry!" "Enough to get the two of you settled nicely." "What's more, she will inherit the cafe..." "To me that means I get my daily aperitif." " That's all you think about." " Yes!" "Yeah, well if you dump her for that good-for-nothing, don't bother coming back to me!" "You can scram!" "And today rather than tomorrow!" "Yeah well if you don't mind, it'll be tomorrow." "Too busy to come when you're being paged?" "Why have you sent the cook on errands?" "To be alone with you." "Open." "Immediately." "Certainly not." "And I thought you didn't mingle with the servants." "I even took the phone off the hook." "We shall not be disturbed." "Kiss me!" "Come in!" "Kiss me right now!" "What, you too?" "Me too?" "Me alone!" "You'll see I deserve it." "There was a vacancy for a teacher in a boarding house in Salzburg." "Mr Berger has emphatically recommended you." "So will you kiss me?" "Mr Berger, you have no idea what this means to me." "At last I'll be able to leave this place." "Yes but be careful!" "They expect you there tomorrow, we must send them a cable." "You do it." "I'll go pack." "But you cannot just up and leave..." "Right away!" "Yes, yes, yes!" "I'm leaving!" "Hold it, hold it!" "It's not so simple!" "You can leave your position without notice in 3 cases only." "Firstly, if your room is insalubrious." "Secondly, in case of ill-treatment." "And thirdly, for reasons of morality." "Then I can leave." "Quick, go send your cable!" "Come with me to the post office!" "No, please, go alone." "There's someone I have to say goodbye to." "Is your backside on fire, Mr Berger?" "You're not the only sportsman" "I am racing to the post office." "Time for my lesson?" "No Charles." " There will be no lesson today." " Why not?" "I'm leaving." "Leaving?" "Here is Anna Karenina." "I want you to keep these books." "Big books like these..." "Say, you'll be gone for long!" "You mean..." "You're really leaving?" "Yes." "Don't do that, miss Marie." "The lessons, all the work I've done, it was to..." "Cause I'm leaving too, see?" "I've getting involved in a radio station." "I was gonna work real hard..." "I don't look like much..." "But I love you, so I figured..." "Maybe someday..." "later..." "You'd marry me." "My dear Charles, I won't forget you!" "You've been my only friend, here." "But the two of us getting married, that's quite out of the question." "Think about me." "And work hard." "You mean, really, you won't marry me?" "It's impossible!" "Oh, I get it." "Mrs Binder is coming back." "I'm no landlord, I ain't got no car." "I can't page you every two minutes when I need you." "No job, no money, that's what it's about, isn't it?" "No Charles, you're wrong." "Nowadays, women aren't for sale anymore." "We are free." "We work for our bread, for our place in the sun." "And when we meet a man we like," "We take him not to help us, but because we love him." "Everything else belongs with fossils." "Fossils, fossils... what in the world is that, now?" "A fossil... is a man who thinks a woman cannot live without him." "Write it down under "F"" "In your new words notebook." "Thank you." " Goodbye Georges" " Goodbye Liliane" " See you soon I hope" " See you soon." "I'm not staying a minute longer!" "Have you gone mad?" "Let me go at once!" "What if I don't want to?" "Servants are allowed to leave without notice in 3 cases:" "Firstly, if their room is insalubrius," "Secondly, in case of ill-treatment," "Thirdly, for reasons of morality." "And you think I'll just let you up and leave?" "You'll certainly find prettier and easier maids than me." "Marie!" "Poldi!" "My wife!" "Is there no-one here?" "What's going on?" "Where were you, then?" " Is Monsieur home?" " Yes Madame." "What in the world is my armchair doing here?" "And those cigarette butts on my carpet?" "Hello my darling!" "Ah yes, I had forgotten you." "Back so soon?" "You have no idea how much I've missed you." "But... why are you back so soon?" " You haven't received my note?" " No" "Did you cable it?" "That Georges..." "I'm not surprised!" "He forgot to bring it to the post office." " Georges?" " He is so distracted." " Who is this Georges?" " An acquaintance." "Anything new?" "The maid hasn't told you?" " She wants to scram." " What?" "She wants to leave immediately." "These people think they have every right." "Well, I've allowed her to leave, because" "Her mother is very ill, you see." "Mind your own business." "I'll speak to her at once." "Oh I'm so glad you're here." " You have your funny look." " I?" "Of course not!" "You're the one who seems tired." "You should take a bath, come on." " Ah don't get on my nerves." " Look, I'll handle the maid." "Leave me alone." "Madame?" " So you want to leave at once?" " I have to go in 15 minutes." "Yes, I've heard, your mother is seriously ill..." "My mother?" "Odd." "So you think you can have your way?" "You can leave in 8 days." "Why are you so keen on leaving?" "Don't question her so much." "She must have personal reasons." "If you really want me to," "I can give them to you." "Well I'm not interested." "I'm going out." "Excuse me, Lily." "I found a better position, Madame." "Better than here?" "Impossible." "Yes, in Salzburg." "My train leaves at 08:05." ""You must let her go"" "Surely not, I'm not letting her "go"." " You will do your 8 days." " No Madame, I will leave." "The nerve these girls have!" "Don't get so mad!" "Leave me alone." "I'll get mad if I want to." "A really remarkable newspaper, The Times." "You can't hide behind the others so conveniently." "Monsieur?" "Oh sorry." " And Madame is here?" " Well what is that all about?" "Nothing works and you're out taking a stroll?" "Madame will forgive me, but..." "Monsieur had sent me out on a little errand." "I had to deliver a letter." " But there was no-one home." " Give it back to me." "What is that letter?" "Nothing, it's business." "Give it to me." " Right away." " Please give it to me!" ""My dear friend, don't be surprised to get this note."" ""I need to get my cook away from home, which is why I'm sending her with this letter."" ""Keep that goose with you as long as you can."" ""I'm a widower for 8 days and I'm as human as the next man."" ""Sincerely,"" ""Henry"." "Pig." "You might at least wait for us to be alone to coo love words to me." "Don't be embarassed on my account, Monsieur." "The GOOSE was already here when your predecessors were given the boot!" "Another dream that melts away..." "And I thought I'd live the rest of my life by your side..." "But...." "Must start over again." "Sincerely, Henry..." "The fourth." "Who are you calling?" "What's wrong with the janitor?" "Such a long face..." " What's going on?" " I don't know, I wonder." "Mr Charles, what's wrong?" "Come in." "I present Madame my compliments." "I'm awfully glad Madame is back." "I have the most unpleasant news to tell Madame." " Now what?" " It's about that girl!" " What girl?" " Her!" "Marie." "Your maid." "Fine people, Madame has in her house." "Word has it she's an ex-convict." "I got the information from the police headquarters." "I have read her criminal record." "She has been in jail two months for robbery." "And to think I've left the pantry unlocked." "On top of it, with all due respect," "Word has it that in private, she's really a public girl." "And this scum has been staying under my own roof." "And that's what Berger vouched for?" "She has even robbed her previous employers." " I've heard Marie is a thief!" " OMG Mr Podoletz, fix this!" "Sure I'll handle this!" "A case to plead, at last!" "Your suitcases are ready..." "You certainly waste no time!" "I told you I had to leave immediately." "Before you go, show me the contents of your suitcase." "I forbid you to touch my stuff!" " I want to see what you've stolen." " What?" "Now I understand why you were in such a hurry to take off..." " Is anything missing?" " Of course!" "What?" "I don't know yet." "I have so many things." "You're a good comedian." "The virtuous maiden..." "And to think that...." " Is that yours?" " Leave it." "Girl Marie Kruschina, what was your last engagement?" "But why?" "Will you confess, yes or no?" "What do you want me to confess?" "For the love of God, let me go, I have to leave!" "I'm taking you in!" "But Madame, we've never had so honest a maid!" "Podoletz, Esq." "Attorney At Court." "Yes, the courtyard." "That does it..." "What are you doing here?" "Offering my services." "I don't need you." "Just as well, I'm not offering them to you." "I never deal with the bosses' business." "I'm the one in this house who is specially appointed to handle the affairs pertaining to the ladies of the house." "Anonymous letters, inheritance, child alimony, blackmail, broken engagements, slight trouble induced by "sampling" from the employer's capital, and all that for almost nothing: twenty francs." "Payable in advance." " Celerity and discretion." " But I haven't done anything!" "We are citizens of the twentieth century." "There are institutions to help lost animals, lost souls," "I don't come to you as a lawyer, but as a messenger of human solidarity." "I am the Morals, I am the Truth, I am the Society..." "And I am wearing breeches that do not belong to me." "My breeches are unrelated to what I am saying." " If you want, I can take them off." " No." "You, take off." "Of course, if you're afraid of the naked truth...." "C'mon Kruschina, follow me!" "I'm taking this repeat offender to the police station." "Everyone here will be better off with you gone." "Move it!" "Charles!" " What do you want with Marie?" " None of your business!" " Whatever, keep your hands off her!" " Imbecile!" "A clean act, that Kruschina...." " A thief!" "A prostitute!" " The certificates!" " Tell me they're lying, Marie" " I can't, I have no right." "I would wrong someone who has been very kind to me." "She keeps quiet out of charity..." "We've seen that trick before, my girl..." "What are you going to do to her?" "Take her to the border and she'll be expelled." "Don't be afraid, my little Marie, they can't expell you." "The head of police will have to ask your permission?" "We're engaged." "Tomorrow I marry her and you won't be able to send her back." "A fine bride!" " A thief and a prostitute!" " Yeah well I love her, get it?" "She always behaved well here, and with me she'll start over, that's all." "Mrs Binder!" "Mrs Binder!" "You come just at the right time!" "A nice present you made me, Mr Berger," "Thank you for this "gem" of a maid!" "Mr Berger, the certificates!" " They say this Kruschina..." " Is a thief!" "That trollop!" "Now I understand why she didn't come for her certificate." "That certificate does not belong to Marie, Madame!" "You knew it?" "Mr Berger knew it all along!" "Mr Berger vouched for her." "Mr Berger knew all about it." " Mr Berger guaranteed it" " Some guarantee..." "She's my former doctor's daughter." "Despite her teacher degree," "She was without a job, without bread." "She came to me, and I gave her some old certificate that was gathering dust in a drawer..." "That's forgery!" "If that's how you wanna see it." "But the good Lord will not judge it so." "How d'you know?" "Ever since that girl has been working here, my rhumatism doesn't hurt anymore." "But if you're a teacher" "Why did you get hired as a maid?" "So that I didn't have to be a tramp or a thief." "You should have told me, Mr Berger." "Had I done so, would you have hired her as a maid?" "No." "So you see..." " Very unpleasant to me!" " What should I say then!" "I apologize, Mademoiselle." "You're a teacher?" "I'll hire you for my kids." "When I have some!" "And above all, make sure my bull only mingles with well-bred animals." "I'll call on you this Sunday." "In a fortnight it would make me equally happy." "Thank you, Charles." " You know why?" " Don't mention it." " I can't close my suitcase" " Hang on" "Allow me.... sorry..." "There!" " There you go." " Ah, emancipation!" "I can't even close my suitcase without a man!" "That reminds me...." "You were in my dream." "We were kneeling side by side, just like we are now." "Where?" "At church." "You forgive me for saying I was your fiance, earlier?" "So." "I'm off." "I'll be back later to bring your suitcase down." "You're leaving now?" "I have an appointment with a friend." "And since you told me that a gentleman must always be punctual..." "Miss!" "In the papers, it says there's more intelligence in the legs of my players than in the head of a whole bunch of academicians." "Really?" "Will you come for a drink?" "If you like..." "Coming..." " Hey kid" " Hey pal" "Say..." "Do you know what an "emancipation" is?" "You've caught it?" "No!" "It's just a word a woman says when she's sitting on a suitcase." " Emancipation?" " Yes." "I know suitcases made of leather or textile.... but out of emancipation..." "That must be new." "No but when a woman is alone and on a suitcase because she can't close it..." "What then?" "Well, she needs a man." " She needs a man when she's alone?" " Yes on the suitcase." "I don't care about all that." "Tell me instead" "Where we start the tour on Sunday?" "The first match?" " I don't care about that..." " Say, are you sick or something?" "Is the girl from the cafe putting you in this state?" "Oh to hell with her, all she has is her dowry and her cafe..." "Well, it's not that bad!" "I have to leave!" " Where are you going, Mam'selle Marie?" " To Salzburg!" "We start the tour in Salzburg on Sunday." "Ok now beat it!" " Say...." " What?" "Not bad lookin', that emancipation of yours..." "You're not joking?" "About the dowry and the cafe?" "No I'm not joking!" "You brought it up, you're bringing it back down again." "I am." "Will you write to me, Charles?" "So that you can point out my spelling mistakes?" "Don't be mean." "Everything one can learn is not worth very much." "And everything that isn't taught, you have." "And you notice that when you leave." "Ah well." "Anyway, we'll play the S.A.C. on Sunday in Salzburg." "The what?" "The Salzburg Athletic Club." "Write it down under "S", in your new words notebook." "And we learn that this football match" "Was not Charles Boulla's only triumph" "In our city of Salzburg." "He has had another victory, on another field." "We can announce the engagement of our champion with Miss Marie de Ferstel," "Professor of literature." "There!" "She got her wedding!" "Professor.... she'll teach him stuff alright..."