"Once upon a time, Australia was paradise on earth with its lush hanging gardens, burbling rivers and antelopes that bounded across streams." "But one day, the land was gripped by a terrible drought and reduced to a pile of cracked earth." "For 60 years there was not a drop of rain, nor any floods." "And the Arab girls stopped looking out of their windows." "Until they eventually decided to emigrate westwards." "The Najar tribe decided to head to the north west." "They crossed the Philippines, India and Iran till they reached Byzantine territory, where they managed, by great good fortune to find the west west." "Wait!" "We have arrived on fertile soil, thank God." "Now, we'll set up our village where this arrow lands." "We'll make this our motherland." "Here, our motherland is here!" "No, here." "Long live Superwarrior!" "Long live Superwarrior!" "Long live Superwarrior!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "You have a go!" "Come on!" "Wait, son." "Look, do it like this." "You see?" "Superwarrior!" "Superwarrior!" "Superwarrior!" "Great news!" "You've had 3 sons!" "You've had triplets!" "3 sons, ha?" "And all 3 of them boys, ha?" "Lord!" "Thank the Lord!" "Son!" "My sons!" "How's Earth Mother, midwife?" "Don't worry sir, she's doing fine." "After all, she's a Najar woman." "Thanks, Mother Earth." "I'm off to the field." "Gentlemen, Perfidious Byzantium be brought to its knees by industrious mother like these." "Torture all the Najars!" "Then kill them." "And when you've killed them beat them up again!" "Beat them up." "Grate them all!" "Fry them until golden." "Fry them!" "Skewer them!" "Skewer them!" "Make shish kebabs out of them." "Your Majesty!" "The Najars!" "Your Majesty!" "It's me, Lombelicus." "Oh, Lombelicus, is it you?" "Indeed..." "Dinner is served, your Majesty." "OK, OK." "I was having an awesome nightmare." "It's good you woke me up." "But you'll still be punished." "But your Majesty..." "Shut up!" "Don't call me your Majesty." "How dare you wake me up during the best bit of my dream!" "But your Majesty..." "His Majesty Horribilis X VI." "Guards, take him away to the conservatoire." "You!" "Take Lombelicus to the lions." "Let him cuddle the lions for a bit." "Anyone who doesn't like animals is incapable of liking people." "Anyone who doesn't like people is incapable of liking his Ex cellency." "Your Majesty!" "Your Majesty!" "Shut up!" "I'm not your Majesty any more." "I'm his Majesty." "I'm actually mad at the guy." "I'm being nice to him on purpose." "If he makes one mistake!" "If he makes the smallest mistake!" "He will, Horribilis." "Don't worry." "What do you mean 'Horribilis'?" "How dare you call me Horribilis?" "Take this!" "Take this!" "Ex cuse me, your Majesty." "Since you called me by my name I'd have you fed to the lions." "Then I'd kill them and stuff them with straw." "But you can thank God you're my sister, Theodora." "How inconsistent you are, darling." "Minutes ago, you were sending Lombelicus to cuddle the lions." "Now you talk about stuffing them." "I thought people who didn't like animals weren't supposed to like people." "What was that Latin quote?" "Homini cipus..." "Cip..." "Enough!" "That's enough!" "Shut up!" "You haven't even borne me a son and you try and quote a difficult Latin sentence at me!" "But, sweetheart..." "Shut up!" "Don't call me sweetheart!" "I'm not your sweetheart..." "I'm his sweetheart." "I don't know if you realize this, but you've been pregnant 11 months." "I'm giving you one more month to bear me a son." "If you don't..." "If..." "What?" "But I'm in the middle of dinner right now." "Yes, I did..." "An awesome dream." "How do you know?" "Ex cuse me, I'm sorry." "If you don't know, then who would?" "OK, OK." "I'm on my way." "I have to go." "Feel free to carry on." "Enjoy!" "Enjoy the spread!" "Oh my God!" "Your Majesty..." "What's up, Nosty?" "It has to be major for you to get me up from the dinner table." "Well, I figured that you might want to tell me about your dream." "Yes, an awesome dream, Nosty." "I saw a shooting star right overhead." "It was all different colours..." "My God!" "What happened next?" "Then, well er..." "This monster popped out of the star." "Oh God, it was awesome." "There was a light in the monster's finger." "Its eyes were enormous." "And there was a little girl." "A Najar, I think, only she was blonde." "Then another Najar kid was climbing onto this war wagon with 2 wheels and a basket in front." "When they saw me, they stuffed the monster into the basket and started flying like a bird." "They crossed the moon and vanished from sight." "At that point a load of words and letters began raining down on me from the sky." "And?" "Well, that's it." "That's the end." "I see, your Majesty." "I understand perfectly." "I mean, as far as I understand, this is a curse." "A curse?" "Yes and a terrible curse to boot." "You'll be murdered by a child born today, your Majesty!" "By a boy." "That's absurd!" "How's a tiny kid going to kill me?" "A Najar!" "You'll be murdered by a Najar born today, your Majesty." "Are you sure, Nosty?" "I mean, oh God, that's terrible!" "A Najar, ha?" "A boy born today." "Is that right?" "What are you waiting for, idiots?" "Go and attack the Najar villages!" "And you, Theodore." "Get out of here!" "Attack every Najar village there is!" "Kill every boy born today." "And all the girls while you're about it." "In fact, kill every Najar kid." "No, kill every Najar under Kill every Najar!" "Kill them all!" "Kill..." "Kill them all!" "Let the chains symbolize the bond of brotherhood between my sons." "If fate divides them one day, they'll recognize each other from these chains." "Well son!" "Your name will be SOS." "As such, you'll run to the aid of anyone in trouble." "Grow up with an open mind and a clear conscience." "Be smart, nimble and principled." "Well, son!" "I'm naming you Infidel so you'll spread fear to the hearts of the infidels." "Grow up with an open mind and a clear conscience." "Study in Europe." "Be worthy of good things." "Well, son!" "And your name..." "You shall be called..." "You shall be called er..." "Ha, Go with the flow." "Superwarrior!" "The Byzantines!" "The Byzantines are coming!" "They're attacking the Najar villages and killing all the boys!" "Here!" "Everyone to arms!" "..." "Hide the women and kids!" "Archers, be at the ready!" "Quick, get up and go to my tent." "In the middle drawer you'll find a helmet with a long chain." "Bring it to me." "Go on!" "Yes, sir." "Get moving, come on!" "You guys, take the kids to their mothers and get the washing in." "Right away!" "Yes, sir." "Basketcase..." "Yes, sir." "Go tell the neighbouring villages." "Let them be prepared!" "Yes, sir." "Come on, hurry up!" "Don't tread on the grass!" "Watch out for your wallets!" "Don't go drinking water when you're all hot and sweaty!" "Go and do your homework, idiot..." "Go on!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "Run, run, man!" "Archers to the village gates!" "Geriatrics say their prayers!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Here you go, sir." "So what do we do with the chain?" "Use it to tie me to the village gates, Buckteeth." "While I keep them distracted, you smuggle the women and kids out of the back gate." "OK?" "But, Superwarrior." "Our need for you is far greater." "I know, Buckteeth." "If anything happens to me, I leave it to you to take care of my wife and kids." "What about that sheepskin vest you got last year?" "OK, you can have that too." "Here, hold this." "Come on!" "Get over here, scumbags!" "Here devils!" "Here, whores!" ".." "Come here!" "Fuck it!" "Stop!" "OK, man!" "Get over here, man!" "Come here!" "Pull this idiot off the gate." "But it's Superwarrior, sir." "Superwarrior?" "You're scared, aren't you chickens?" "Get over here, come on!" "Come on!" "Attack!" "Get over here, scumbags" "Are they here, Superwarrior?" "Mamma mia!" "Mamma mia!" "Get out of here, they're coming!" "Run for it!" "You're mine." "Come here!" "Help!" "Get off me!" "Help!" "Get off my wife, scumbag!" "That's my wife!" "She's mine!" "Fuck off!" "I'm the only one that gets to ravish her." "Get off me, I said!" "Get off me!" "I'm telling you, I'm a US citizen." "What's he saying?" "What does he mean 'US'?" "Kill him too." "A load of babies!" "What's more, they look like they're all boys!" "Run for it, Earth Mother!" "I'll keep them distracted!" "Wow!" "Take a look at that!" "Fuck!" "Kill all the boys!" "And kill any childish adults too." "Let's pop you in there..." "There she is!" "She's running away..." "Is it me you're looking for, pig sperm?" "Come and get me!" "Here I am!" "Come and get me!" "Over here!" "Where did you find this specimen?" "He's shit scared." "Is he a recruit or what?" "Send him up!" "These Najars appear to be well equipped for archery!" "What?" "What is it?" "Who is it this time?" "Who is 'doot' goddamn it?" "Who is 'doot'?" "Dupe?" "Oh, Commander Theodore!" "We've raided all the villages, your Majesty." "Good work, commander." "So what's the score?" "We killed all the boys, your Majesty." "We also killed the pensioners, widows and orphans." "Almighty God!" "Thank the Lord!" "And we captured the women for you as well." "My God." "I never saw a woman like that before, Theodore." "I'm not a woman." "I'm not a woman, scumbag!" "I'm not a woman!" "Theodore?" "What's the woman crapping on about?" "Shut the fuck up, scumbag!" "I'm not a woman!" "I'm a man!" "I'm Superwarrior!" "Superwarrior!" "You're going to die!" "Superwarrior?" "Superwarrior..." "Thrilled to meet you." "Killing you will give me immense pleasure." "You'll pay dearly for this, Susanwarrior." "My name isn't Susanwarrior, scumbag!" "It's Superwarrior!" "So Susan..." "Susan..." "Susan!" "Hey, don't laugh!" "Stop laughing!" "You'll pay for this, Horribilis!" "No one calls me Susanwarrior!" "I'll give you Susan, man!" "Even Father never called me Susan!" "I'm not Susan, goddamn it!" "Bastard!" "I'll Susan him!" "Superwarrior's the name!" "Poor man." "How he's yelling." "Who knows what kind of torture Horribilis has invented this time." "My God!" "It's coming, nurse." "It's coming!" "Thank God!" "Thank the Lord Jesus!" "Relax, your Majesty." "I'll take you to the palace right away." "No, we can't go to the palace, nurse!" "If it's a girl Horribilis will kill you, me, the baby, everyone!" "But your Majesty..." "I'll do it right here." "What are you doing?" "You can't do it like that!" "You have to lie down." "Oh, nurse." "I'm so stressed out, I don't know what I'm doing..." "It doesn't want to come." "I'm afraid it's another girl, your Majesty." "Lord Almighty, please!" "I'm very sorry, your Majesty." "I'm very sorry." "It can't be, no!" "I don't want her." "Stick her back where she came from!" "Maybe if I present her like this, we can buy some time." "Horribilis wouldn't fall for that." "No way!" "Oh my God!" "Oh, baby!" "Sweetheart!" "And it's a boy!" "Take that!" "Checkmate." "Goddamn it!" "I hope it's now clear, dear sister, that you don't play games with me." "Her Majesty Empress Helena V, preceded by Nurse." "Great news, your Majesty." "The Queen has given birth to twins!" "Don't get so ex cited, your Majesty!" "I finally did it." "I bore you a son." "Almighty God!" "Thank the Lord!" "My son!" "My dear sweet son!" "That's the girl, your Majesty." "The boy's the other one." "My son!" "My dear sweet son!" "I think I'll name you after my father, who I killed by mistake." "You'll perpetuate his memory." "You shall be called Marcus Antonius." "Our daughter's pretty nice too, your Majesty..." "Idiot woman!" "Why isn't she a boy?" "Why aren't they both boys?" "Retard!" "Is it so bad that we also have a girl, your Majesty?" "Besides you can name her after the mother you also killed by mistake." "That way you'll have a clear conscience." "Conscience?" "Yes, I'll feel better." "She shall be called Emanuel VI." "Let her be like my mother." "A whore like her!" "Scumbags!" "Dogs!" "Squirrels!" "Ducks!" "Pigs!" "Oh my God!" "How do people get to be so wild, Basketcase?" "Look at that!" "God, why isn't this baby sucking?" "I don't get it." "How's it supposed to suck through your dress, idiot woman?" "Get your breasts out!" "He's not sucking, Horribilis!" "What am I supposed to do?" "Get off me, scumbags!" "Dirty dogs!" "Scumbags!" "Get off!" "What a vile noise!" "If her voice is like that, what's her milk like?" "Kill her!" "Bring me another woman!" "I'm afraid we've tried every woman who gave birth recently." "This is the last one." "OK, OK." "Then let her breast feed the boy." "I will not!" "I'd rather die than feed the offspring of an infidel!" "Get off me, I said!" "Stop pulling my goddamn hair!" "Get off!" "Get off!" "You either get your tits out and feed the boy or I'll cut them off and throw them in the baby's face." "Feed the baby!" "Here, take him." "God!" "The chain?" "Is it the chain?" "Yes, yes!" "It has to be!" "OK, honey, OK." "Suck, baby, suck." "Suck, suck..." "Father, why is SOS crying?" "Why wouldn't he?" "His parents have been taken prisoner, his brothers have disappeared downstream, his tent's been ransacked..." "Wouldn't you do the same?" "So that's your story, son." "One day, when you've grown up into a sturdy young lad, you'll become head of the village, go to the palace and rescue your parents." "You'll get your revenge on Horribilis." "So when will I grow up, Basketcase?" "When will you grow up?" "Look, son." "You see these hairs?" "Well, the day you can pluck one of them out, you will have grown up." "You'll have become a sturdy young lad, a man." "Go for it!" "Not yet, sir." "Not yet." "Stop!" "I asked the yellow flower, 'Do you have a mother and father?" "'" "You see what your dear son's doing, don't you, your Majesty?" "Mummy, you know Marcus?" "He can't even make the sign of the cross." "Hey man, don't piss on me..." "Marcus, tell me why you can't make the sign of the cross, son." "I can't learn, Daddy." "I do try, but I just can't get my head round it." "What do you mean you can't learn, idiot?" "So how did you learn to ask the yellow flower about its mother and father?" "I didn't learn that." "It kind of happened." "It just popped out." "Theodore!" "Throw him into the tea kitchen!" "Let him make tea 300m underground and come to his senses." "Wait!" "Your Majesty!" "I beg you!" "Don't send him to the tea kitchen!" "Send me instead, your Majesty." "He's only a kid." "What does he know about brewing tea, your Majesty?" "You're soiling my shoes, Milkmaid." "Take her away!" "Take her away!" "Your Majesty, I trust you're not serious about having a Byzantine prince thrown among Najar prisoners." "So what am I supposed to do?" "He sings Najar hymns at church." "He can't make the sign of the cross." "He's nothing like sadistic enough." "He's smart, agile and principled and behaves the whole time like a Najar." "He may be my son and the sole heir to my throne, but he should still be punished." "I agree entirely with what you say about Marcus Antonius, but I do not share your view about dispatching the only heir to the throne to his death in the tea kitchen, your Majesty." "OK, OK." "I give up on that idea." "How about it, Makarios?" "Shall we send him to the seminary on Rhodes?" "He'll not only be trained as a good Christian, but from what I hear the school's economics faculty is also extremely good." "An ex cellent idea, your Majesty." "Bravo." "OK then." "Tomorrow I'm sending Marcus Antonius to Rhodes." "I beg you, your Majesty!" "Don't send him, send me instead, your Majesty!" "Take this goddamn milkmaid away from under my feet!" "Catch!" "It's out of the question unless you do what I say." "Just once." "No way." "First you have to become a man first." "How much, gorgeous?" "I don't do it for money, big boy." "Go on..." "Yes, boys?" "Innkeeper, bring us a pitcher of wine!" "Hey Basketcase, when are we going to do the business?" "First you must prove your manhood in the field of contest, SOS." "Fine, I'll prove it." "But you don't let me do that either." "You want to put yourself to the test again, ha?" "I guess so, yes..." "You see, son?" "You're not ready yet." "Oh no, the Byzantines are here." "Where to, gorgeous?" "Out of my way." "I have to get back to the palace." "Idiot thinks she's the empress..." "Bring me wine!" "Innkeeper!" "Bring us wine!" "Mitochondria..." "Play damn it!" "Go on, play!" "Hey, babe..." "Wow!" "There's a dancer here, too!" "Get off me!" "Get off me!" "I'm not a dancer!" "I'm not a dancer!" "Get off!" "Sly bastards." "Don't!" "Leave my girl alone!" "Don't!" "Don't!" "Don't!" "Go on, dance for us!" "I can't." "I said dance, whore!" "Lift up those arms!" "And you guys, we want rhythm and tempo." "Hey, let's see those hands!" "Twist, twist those hands!" "Come on, twist them..." "Tempo!" "Tempo!" "Who did this?" "Who?" "Who did it?" "I did..." "I did it." "Because a Najar dancer never dances!" "Sorry, sister." "Thank you, hero..." "Thanks for your help." "You're welcome." "Now let's see who's the best dancer." "So it's like that." "Yes." "What's the problem?" "What are you planning to do?" "Kill the dogs!" "Come on, let's pay the check and get out of here, Basketcase." "What do you say, Basketcase?" "Am I ready now?" "Can I storm the palace and rescue my parents?" "Can I get my revenge on that dog, Horribilis?" "Can I now find myself a girl and get my leg over?" "Can I do this to her and then indulge in some after sex tobacco?" "SOS, you can do anything you like now." "Prepare yourself, Horribilis!" "SOS, son of Superwarrior, is on his way!" "He's on his way!" "Here, Basketcase." "Have some hot bread." "Thanks, Rabbit." "You know one day..." "The day will come when all this land..." "This land which gallops as a mare's hoof from Asia to the Mediterranean will become amazingly valuable." "Meaning it would be circumspect to snap up a few acres now." "Anyway..." "Let's deal with this little challenge first." "Now listen carefully to my plan." "This is the Byzantine Palace here..." "And I'm here..." "Now if I strike like this, they'll all die." "It's not that simple." "I think we have to make a better plan and get into the palace." "Well what are we going to need for this?" "A prince's outfit, 2 priest's robes, 2 crosses and 3 horses." "Oh yeah, how do we find 3 guys dumb enough to give us their clothes right here in the middle of nowhere?" "Greetings!" "Sixth sense, was it?" "Look who's coming. 2 priests, a prince." "Get off me, shameless idiots!" "What impudence!" "I am the emperor's son!" "I'm telling you, my father is the emperor!" "I'm the emperor's son now." "Liar." "Is your name Marcus Antonius?" "You heard that, didn't you?" "We also found out the idiot's name:" "Marcus Antonius." "What's all the noise about at this hour of the morning?" "Father." "Who's this?" "This character is going to be our prisoner, Martyr." "Keep an eye on him till we get back." "Yes, yes." "I'm the prisoner." "If you want to be the emperor's son, fine, go ahead." "In the meantime, I'll just enjoy being a prisoner." "If he tries yelling, cut off his tongue." "If he tries to escape, break his legs." "If he gives you dirty looks gouge out his eyes." "If he belches, cut his throat, Martyr sister." "Come on, let's go!" "What sign are you, Martyr?" "Virgo?" "Sagittarius?" "Libra?" "Scorpio?" "I hope he's not going to escape and make trouble for us, the pig." "Don't worry, Rabbit." "I tied him up very tight, foreign piece of shit." "God forbid, but what if he does something to Martyr?" "Don't worry, he can't touch her." "I raised her like a boy." "She'd knock five bummers like him flying, God willing." "Stop fretting about Martyr and concentrate on the real problem." "That's the two priests." "If only you'd taken the bells as well as their clothes, SOS." "I mean, if they get to the palace, they could be a real pain." "Don't worry." "Forget the palace, they're not going anywhere in the outfits I fixed for them." "It's all so different in Europe." "People can be Greeks, Najars Anglos, Saxons, it doesn't matter." "That kind of discrimination is bullshit anyway." "Ultimately, we live in the same land and share a lot culturally." "You're so eloquent, Marcus." "Have some more mare's milk." "Please." "I'm want to say something, Marcus, but don't get angry..." "You know, you're really nothing like a Byzantine." "I mean you're so kind, well meaning and so good looking." "If I saw you on the street, I swear I'd take you for a Najar." "I wish I'd been a Najar and you'd seen me on the street, Martyr." "Let's see, you heroic but filthy Najars..." "Why the fuck don't these matches light?" "Are they damp?" "Are they made in Byzantium or what?" "This one didn't light either." "Shit!" "God." "I hope there aren't any Christians here." "I'm so happy, my brother Marcus is back from Rhodes tomorrow." "You won't believe it, but I missed Marcus Antonius, too." "Keep away!" "Keep away, man!" "It still didn't light." "But your Majesty, you were about to send him to the tea kitchen." "Of course I was." "He was behaving like a Najar." "But I guess he will have changed a bit by now." "I have no doubt that he will return a good infidel after 5 years of serious education." "You know what I'm thinking, Helena?" "I'll make him commander in chief when he gets back." "I beg you, your Majesty." "Make me commander in chief, not him." "I beg you!" "Guards!" "Guards!" "Take her away!" "Take her away!" "In the end I'm going to have this woman executed, it's just when..." "What do you say, Makarios?" "Shall we make Marcus commander in chief?" "That's up to you, your Majesty." "But in the meantime, I don't think General Theodore should be overlooked." "Well, he can be commander in chief of the Air Force." "We just have to teach some of our soldiers how to fly first." "Ready..." "These goddamn matches are driving me crazy!" "Are you covered in sweat or what?" "Why have you refused to light for the past 2 hours?" "Light for God's sake!" "You know the window's open?" "That's why it's drafty and cold." "And that's why this son of a bitch goes out before it reaches us..." "Shut the fuck up!" "Guard!" "Shut the window!" "Wow!" "He was absolutely right!" "Are you OK, Theodora?" "Sure, I'm OK." "Marcus Antonius is back tomorrow." "Oh God!" "What's worse, Horribilis is making him commander in chief or something." "Oh my God!" "And the bastard's planning to make you commander of the Air Force." "Oh my God!" "We have to deal with Marcus before he gets to the palace, Theodore." "I want the best guys hired for this job." "They should set off tonight." "Marcus Antonius has to be killed." "My son is going to be emperor?" "Do you understand?" "My son is going to be emperor!" "Faster, Actifius." "Swing me faster, animal!" "So I touch the column!" "So I touch the tree!" "Hurry up!" "They'll be here soon." "We should have blocked the road with a tree." "It's going to be tough like this." "Shh!" "Be quiet!" "It sounds like they're coming!" "Hide, quick!" "Quick!" "Quick!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "This is the end of the road." "What do we do now?" "What do we do?" "We dismount and cut a new path." "Attack!" "God!" "God!" "God!" "God!" "We've been ambushed!" "We've been ambushed!" "Wait, wait." "Well done, son." "You know what he says about you?" "And the stuff he says about you..." "Holy shit!" "They all have bad blood." "Enough, that's enough." "Look." "We've killed them all anyway." "These Byzantines are totally out to lunch." "They even attack their own priests and princes." "There's something behind this." "Speak, scumbag!" "Why did you ambush us, ha?" "To kill you of course, your Majesty." "Man, if I'm your Majesty, why would you want to kill me?" "Would anyone ever want to kill their Majesty?" "Gen. Theodore ordered us to kill you without fail, your Majesty." "But he got his orders from Princess Theodora." "Princess Theodora?" "You know, your Aunt Theodora!" "Why should my real aunt want to have me killed?" "Why?" "So Prince Simitis can become emperor of course." "Simitis?" "Who's that?" "Look here, are you sure you're really Prince Marcus Antonius?" "You don't know anyone, man." "Of course I'm not, idiot!" "I'm SOS of the Najar tribe." "Oh my God!" "They're Najars!" "Najars!" "General Theodore is going to shit on us!" "We found out what we were going to find out." "Come on, let's get going." "What do we do with these guys?" "They know everything now." "What happens if they go to the palace and talk?" "If you think about it, you also know everything..." "I'll do to them what I did to the priests." "They'll be in no state to go anywhere, fascists." "Greetings!" "Greetings!" "Pssst." "What are you doing?" "What's the plan, SOS?" "Now, that's the palace." "We're here." "We make our way from here to there and go in through the gate." "That's a bit complex, isn't it?" "Exactly." "And what if they don't let us in?" "They will, they will." "If they don't let in a prince and 2 priests, who will they let in?" "Break up, man!" "Come on, break up!" "Stand aside, come on!" "The grief they give us, this horde trying to get into the palace." "Anyone who gets their hands on 2 priest's and a prince's outfit pitches up here, I'd say." "Did you have another plan, SOS?" "Let's try the other gate, too." "Come on, quick!" "OK." "Now from here we jump up there." "OK, Basketcase?" "Basketcase, my man!" "Go on, Rabbit." "For the love of God." "Go on, go for it." "It's kind of high, but here I come." "The Crown Prince of Byzantium, his Majesty Marcus Antonius I I!" "Dear father!" "You look great, Father." "Did you gain weight or something?" "Welcome, Marcus Antonius." "We were expecting you." "I'd wanted to surprise you, but..." "You were like that as a kid, too." "You always used to behave like the idiotic Najars." "Marcus!" "Welcome, dear brother!" "Sister!" "Emanuel, don't spoil the gravity of the ceremony." "Move off!" "Emanuel!" "Sister!" "My Emanuel, my sister!" "Sister..." "Etiquette would have you embrace your mother first, not Emanuel." "Marcus Antonius, my darling son!" "How you've grown!" "Mother?" "Mother?" "!" "Dear mother!" "Nurse, hasn't he grown?" "Nurse!" "Dear Nurse!" "Nurse, see?" "I was teeny, but I'm huge now." "What's up, Theodora?" "You're not happy to see your beloved nephew?" "I I'm in shock, forgive me, your Majesty..." "I wasn't expecting this at all." "He looks great." "I mean, he's really grown so much." "You've grown, too, Aunt." "Every bit of you is bigger, Aunt Theodora." "OK, that's enough." "Come on now, go to your room and change." "Tonight I'll be giving a massive banquet in your honor." "I beg you, your Majesty!" "Forget him and give the banquet in my honor." "I beg you, your Majesty." "He's only a kid." "Goddamn it, you're here again, you filthy Najar woman." "The woman's a Najar?" "You don't recognize her?" "You know that woman with huge tits who fed you as a baby?" "It's her." "That's the woman who fed me, ha?" "Welcome, your Majesty." "Oh Lord!" "Thank the Lord!" "Nursie!" "Nursie!" "Son." "Oh son!" "How you've grown!" "How I missed you!" "Mother!" "I missed you so much too, poor mother, brave, suffering mother!" "What bullshit!" "I see the woman for the first time and look what I say!" "But I mean, it felt good, too." "Far out!" "Listen..." "Shall we do in a Najar each tonight to honor your return from Rhodes?" "How about it?" "I have the weirdest Najar here." "Let's kill him!" "What, a Najar?" "Kill?" "What is this outrage?" "But Theodora, believe me I used my best men." "I just don't get how he did it." "I have great plans for you, Marcus Antonius." "Father's going to make you commander in chief, Marcus." "Father?" "What do you mean father?" "You call me father?" "Take this!" "Ex cuse me, your Majesty." "Shut up!" "What a nerve!" "Who does she think she's talking to?" "So you have serious plans for me, your Majesty?" "Ha, yes." "Like the idiot said, I'm making you commander in chief." "But first you must be a knight." "I beg you, your Majesty!" "Forget him and make me a knight instead!" "I beg you, your Majesty!" "I beg you!" "You're getting to be a pain, you madwoman." "You are a pain!" "Don't you dare do that again!" "Don't you dare!" "You're right." "It's quite wrong to feed these guys meat and stuff." "God forbid, if they got fat, they'd be tough to keep under control." "Hey, OK." "I'm bored." "Guards, take them away." "Let them do a special show for the lions." "Come on, start the music up again." "Bring on the dancer!" "I can't bear these Najars, Marcus Antonius." "They have a real talent for dancing, just like they do for war, science and the fine arts." "Isn't there a knife around?" "A knife?" "Dance!" "Come on!" "Dance, Najar woman!" "Come on, dance!" "No!" "Forget about her." "I'll dance!" "Come on, music!" "Oh God, it's a cat." "Oh, was it you, dear brother?" "Brother?" "What's that?" "Are you embarrassed, Marcus Antonius?" "No, why should I be?" "I mean, what is there to be embarrassed about?" "After all, we're brother and sister, aren't we?" "Here..." "Here, if you really want, you can look at mine, too." "Do you remember, Marcus, how we used to bathe together as kids?" "Wow, lucky dog!" "How could I forget?" "We'd bathe in water like this." "Then we used soap as well." "Can you scrub my back?" "Sure I'll give you a scrub..." "Just like when we were kids, isn't it?" "It might be easier if you used the sponge." "Sure." "Tell me about Rhodes, Marcus Antonius." "What's the place like?" "Like the Rhodes you hear about." "The guys there are really advanced." "What the hell's that?" "What's that chicken doing here?" "Ha, you mean Princess?" "Princess?" "Princess Olimpiakos." "Father fought in a war last year and saved her life." "That's the only reason he called the thing Princess." "What's that around her neck?" "A key." "The key to the dungeon where Superwarrior's being kept." "He tied the key round her neck as no one would think to look there." "So..." "What were you up to while I was in Rhodes, sweet sister?" "What can you get up to in this madhouse, Marcus Antonius?" "What can you do in this hell hole ex cept get upset by Father killing the poor Najars." "Such proud, kind, hospitable and heroic people." "So you also get upset by our vile father's cruelty to the Najars, ha?" "Sure I do, Marcus Antonius." "Can you pass me that towel over there?" "The towel?" "Sure I can..." "Thanks, brother." "You're welcome, sister." "That witch Theodora made me cry a lot too, Marcus." "You have no idea what I went through while you were away." "You know, Theodora is such a bad person, Marcus." "There's nothing she wouldn't do to make that dumb son of hers emperor." "I know." "She's very dangerous, the whore." "Take care of yourself, I beg you Marcus!" "Please!" "I'd die if anything happened to you, dear brother." "Sister!" "Dear brother!" "Princess?" "Princess has gone!" "Marcus Antonius!" "The towel!" "The towel?" "Let me go find Princess." "Someone might take her for a stray and go slaughter her or something..." "Good night, dear brother." "Good night, sweet sister." "Take great care!" "Come here Princess, come here." "Come here!" "Princess, come here." "Marcus Antonius has changed such a lot, hasn't he Helena?" "Sure, he's as good as grown up." "Not only has he grown up he's also grown tough, the son of a gun." "The weakling Marcus Antonius who used to help the Najar prisoners has turned into a model Byzantine, my fabulous son." "He's also very good looking, isn't he Horribilis?" "How dare you call me 'Horribilis', cattle fodder?" "Who do you think you're talking to?" "How could you be so insolent, just because we sleep in the same room?" "Damn you!" "It's my fault." "Who in their right mind would ever take a wife from Byzantium?" "Princess!" "Come here!" "Come here!" "Come on, Princess!" "Here, girl!" "There, caught you, pig fowl!" "Let me have the key then..." "Dear brother..." "Sweet sister?" "I see you're just a little too interested in the key, brother." "In that case, I think you bathe just a little too often, sister." "Is the towel made in Turkey?" "Stop bullshitting!" "You're hiding something from me and I'm dying to know what, OK?" "OK, fine." "You know the guy in the dungeon?" "That's my father." "I came here to rescue him and the other prisoners." "That also happens to be why I'm chasing this dumb chicken around." "OK?" "Does that make you happy?" "God, Marcus." "Stop kidding around and tell me the truth, will you?" "That is the truth." "I'm not your real brother, sister." "That Najar in the dungeon really is my real father and I really did come here to rescue him." "What are you talking about, Marcus Antonius?" "Not Marcus Antonius." "My real name's SOS." "The real Marcus Antonius is being held prisoner in my village." "Which is a real Najar village." "I don't believe you!" "Then how do you explain what went on the other night?" "If you were really my sister, you think that would have happened?" "And what about how we feel when we're in each other's arms?" "What about how I feel right now as I look at you?" "What about how I feel when I touch you?" "If we were really brother and sister, do you think that I could have fallen in love with you, Emanuel?" "Yes, that's the truth." "I've fallen in love with you." "Now yell and scream if you want." "Let the guards come and get me!" "Guards!" "If you were anyone else, I'd shit on you right now." "But I can't do that to the woman I love." "It would be barbarian." "Farewell, Emanuel!" "My soap fell down there somewhere." "Bring it to up to me when you find it." "I'm in the bathroom." "Why did you do that?" "Because, because I love you too, bad boy." "Go on, now go." "Don't keep your father waiting too long." "He's been waiting 20 years." "Let him wait another 20 minutes." "Let me ask you something." "Can you do it with cheese as well?" "I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me, Marcus Antonius." "Believe me, it's the first time I've done any of this stuff." "I know..." "However little we Byzantines care about virtue, honor and dignity it's the first time for me too." "Has he run into some kind of trouble, I wonder?" "He's never been this late before." "Where have you been all this time, son?" "Well, it took a while to catch the chicken." "But I managed to get the key in the end." "Great." "Now let's go and rescue Superwarrior." "Come on!" "A, B, C..." "Bravo!" "What's he doing here?" "Don't worry, he won't do any harm." "We're friends now." "Come on, let's hurry along and rescue Superwarrior." "I have urgent business to attend to before that." "What a great day for war, isn't it SOS?" "You're right, Basketcase." "Did you really have to take off your trousers, son?" "God forgive you." "OK, OK." "I'm done." "Come on, let's go." "I thought so." "There's no way that's Marcus Antonius." "How do you know?" "Didn't you see his oversized dick?" "There's no mistaking that for anything but a Najar dick, idiot." "Where?" "Where?" "46 seconds later." "So he dressed himself up as Marcus Antonius so as to kill Horribilis." "Wow!" "Very smart." "What do you say, shall we get the security forces onto the bastards?" "But you are the security forces, idiot." "Besides, what's the hurry?" "Let him go and kill Horribilis." "This is a golden opportunity, Theodore." "Very soon the throne will pass automatically to Simitis." "You're completely psycho, Actifius." "What a beautiful song, Marcus." "Where did you learn it?" "I didn't." "It just popped into my head and I sang it." "The lyrics, music and arrangement are mine." "Is that it?" "Isn't there any more?" "Yes, but I have to go now, Martyr." "I'll sing you the rest another time maybe when we meet again." "Leave?" "Please don't leave me!" "I can't live without you!" "Your life is in greater danger when you're with me, Martyr." "My father's a total psycho." "If he realizes I'm not the other idiot, he'll come looking for me and crucify everyone in the village plus the sheep and goats." "I wonder if he's caught my father." "Don't worry, my love." "Even if he has, I'll rescue him." "And in the meantime, I think I'll grab a shower." "So, will I see you again?" "Will you come and see me?" "Marcus?" "I'll kill you all!" "I'm going to kill you all!" "Die!" "You're going to die, filthy swine!" "No one insults me!" "No one!" "I'm not scum!" "No!" "I'm not scum!" "I'm not scum!" "That's my father's voice!" "What?" "What?" "Who's that?" "Don't make a sound." "They'll wake up with the tiniest creak." "But if we make a whole load of noise, they won't hear a thing." "OK, my man, OK." "Father?" "Father?" "Father..." "I'm not your father, idiot!" "I'm no one's father!" "You're going to die!" "You're going to die!" "Father!" "It's me, SOS!" "SOS?" "Which SOS?" "Which SOS do you think, Father?" "Your son, SOS!" "SOS!" "Son!" "Yes Father, it's me!" "Look, do you remember this?" "How could I forget?" "What are you doing here?" "I came to rescue you, Father." "Oh Lord!" "Thank the Lord!" "Come on SOS, open the gate now." "Is that you, Basketcase?" "Yes, it's me!" "Basketcase!" "Father!" "Son!" "Scumbags!" "How could they do this to you father?" "Dogs!" "Fallow deer!" "Well they did it, son." "They did it." "Thanks be to God for the time I've spent here." "Wait, let me have a look at you." "How you've grown." "You too, Father." "Even your skullcap's gone gray." "I've been through hell, son." "That's why." "They used every kind of torture on me you can imagine, cowards." "Come on, move it!" "Come on, Father!" "Wait." "What's up?" "Where are you off to?" "I'm taking this dog to be killed." "Oh shit, a trap..." "No one can kill me, rat..." "Shh, Father." "Don't give the game away..." "Oh yes." "He's taking me off to be killed." "Move aside." "Move aside..." "They're lying." "Opening that gate is forbidden without the emperor here." "Seize them!" "You run for it, I'll keep them distracted." "Son!" "This way..." "They got us in tight corner here, the sons of a bitch." "Hold on, we're here!" "God, God, God, God..." "What kind of door do you call this?" "Is it alive or what?" "Come on, use all your strength!" "Come on!" "What's going on here?" "Seize them!" "Grab them!" "Don't let them get away!" "Get them!" "Stop!" "What are you doing?" "Don't you recognize me, Lombelicus?" "It's me, the prince!" "The prince!" "The prince!" "It's me!" "So you thought you fooled me by dressing up as a priest, ha?" "I pity you, rip off merchants!" "And you're supposed to be Najars..." "Guards!" "Come here quick!" "Execute these two at some point." "And what to say to you?" "!" "I feed and water you for all these years keep you in my finest dungeon, treat you to my most advanced torture instruments, but still it's done you no good, ha?" "Throw him in the dungeon." "I'll be killing him personally tomorrow." "If you kill me, you'll pay for it!" "You'll regret it!" "Come on, man." "You'll die!" "You'll die!" "You'll suffer in misery!" "Come on, they're only Najars." "What's going on with you?" "And you're a priest." "Watch your mouth!" "A priest is your father." "Guards!" "Take him away and stick him in the winter dungeon." "Hey, don't push me around, heathen." "And you, Princess?" "And you?" "You betrayed my trust, shame on you!" "Take her away." "Have her made into schnitzel!" "Take her away..." "And you?" "You're a great disappointment to me Marcus Antonius." "But Father, what have I done?" "What do you think, idiot?" "You tried to smuggle the prisoners out." "There's been a misunderstanding, I swear Father." "Shut up!" "Don't call me father." "I'm not your father." "I'm my own father!" "Take him away and kill the peasant!" "I beg you, your Majesty!" "Leave him out of this." "Let them take me away and kill me instead." "I beg you, your Majesty!" "He's only a kid." "What does he know about dying, your Majesty?" "Hey OK, OK, madwoman!" "Guards!" "Take her away as well." "I beg you, your Majesty, forgive your son this time!" "Have pity on him, your Majesty." "Please!" "Please, your Majesty!" "Have mercy on my brother, please!" "I beg you too, your Majesty." "Please forgive Marcus." "Have you gone nuts, Mamma?" "Theodora?" "Are you OK, sister?" "Of course I'm OK." "It's just you never used to like Marcus a whole lot before." "Don't get sentimental about affairs of the state, your Majesty." "Ignoring the countless mistakes of his youth, I'd say Marcus was a far more suitable heir to the throne." "I mean at least he's a man." "Oh Mamma, you're so mean!" "I guess you're right, Theodora." "OK, let him go!" "Marcus Antonius, this is the last time I forgive you!" "I beg you, your Majesty!" "He's only a kid." "Don't forgive him!" "Forgive me instead, I beg you!" "Martyr!" "Darling!" "What did they do to you, Marcus?" "Who did this to you?" "Tell me!" "Marcus, my love!" "Aunt Theodora?" "I hope you weren't asleep, dear nephew." "No, I wasn't." "Thank you so much for what you did for me today, Aunt Theodora." "Don't get on my nerves." "What?" "Cut the crap." "I know who you are." "Do your stuff and get the fuck out of the palace as fast as possible." "But Aunt Theodora." "It's very convincing." "Do carry on." "Be sure to drop by before you go." "Ha?" "Was that you, Emanuel?" "I thought you were someone else." "Did you miss me?" "How could I not miss you, Emanuel?" "Of course I missed you." "I really missed you too." "Emanuel." "Emanuel." "30 days later." "How could you do this to me, SOS?" "We grew up like brother and sister!" "But I didn't do anything." "Whatever it is, it's your invention, dear." "And now you dare to patronize me!" "Stop!" "What's in the cart?" "Hay." "Fresh hay for the emperor." "So you're bringing the emperor fresh hay, ha?" "Let's have a look at this fresh hay then..." "Why is the hay yelling?" "It's the species of hay, sir." "OK, carry on." "What's in the cart?" "Yelling hay." "OK, you carry on too." "I'm going to find Marcus, SOS." "OK, but don't be too long." "I won't." "I've been rotting in this dungeon for 25 years." "I'd give anything to have my kids here with me now, Basketcase." "Greetings, gentlemen." "SOS..." "Action." "We're getting out of here." "Come on." "How do we get out of here?" "Don't worry." "I've been 25 years in this dungeon." "I know the place like the back of my hand." "It's this way." "What's up, gentlemen?" "And where might your journey be taking you?" "Who the hell's this?" "Son of a bitch!" "So you were trying to escape, ha?" "So you were trying to escape, ha?" "Hey man!" "Was that an echo?" "No, idiot." "It was me." "Get moving!" "Ha!" "Look, Father's here." "Ha!" "Look, Father's here." "Stop." "He's lying, Father." "His name isn't Marcus Antonius." "Hold on a second!" "Now, be men and tell me which of you is my son." "Me." "Me." "Me." "I'm nobody's son." "No, I'm not anyone's son." "OK, OK, we got that." "Throw a net." "Now, we'll do a small experiment to see which of you is Marcus Antonius and which of you is the impostor." "I say we shouldn't take any chances your Majesty." "Let's kill them both." "Keep your nose out of my affairs, Theodora." "I never asked you who to kill before and don't suppose I will now either." "Bitch's clitoris, what'll happen?" "Don't worry, Princess." "Pretty soon both Marcus's will be dead." "Oh my God!" "It's Brutus!" "Yes, Princess." "We spared no expense." "As you see we brought him all the way from Rome." "You'll get everything you deserve for this, Theodore." "Give Marcus Antonius on the left an arrow." "I'll give it to him!" "I beg you, don't give him the arrow, give it to me instead, your Majesty." "He's only a kid." "Guards, take away this fucking woman!" "Take her away!" "Well, what are you waiting for?" "Give the one on the left an arrow." "Now Marcus Antonius, I want you to kill Superwarrior with that arrow." "If you're my son, you'll kill him without batting an eyelid." "Go on, then." "Don't you dare!" "You're SOS." "If you kill me, nobody in the village will look you in the face." "It'll be patricide." "You'll be an orphan." "Look here man, I'm telling you." "Are you psycho, son?" "It's a sick joke!" "Guards!" "Seize him, arrest the scumbag!" "Come on!" "Come on then, dogs!" "The Najars even win the wars they lose." "Jump on him." "Come on!" "Curse the parents of anyone else who tries to save me again, OK?" "So you were the fake Marcus, ha?" "Sure, it was me." "So what, motherfucker?" "What did he say?" "I don't know, your Majesty." "He was probably cursing." "I never heard anything like it either." "Let's see if he can show the same skill against my sword." "Son of a bitch." "What did I say?" "I never heard that before either, your Majesty." "Here!" "Son!" "It's nothing, Mother." "I'm OK." "I stabbed him." "What the hell's the matter with you?" "Don't you get it, shit for brains?" "They're brothers." "Twin brothers!" "Triplets in fact!" "Where the fuck is your other brother?" "He's lying, your Majesty!" "He's lying." "Don't bullshit, Helena." "Did you ever know a Najar to lie?" "Well, can you prove what you said?" "Sure." "Look at the chains around their necks and you'll see." "My God!" "Helena!" "Helena, this is scandalous!" "What's going on?" "He's your son, your Majesty, I swear!" "Don't lie, whore!" "The empress is guilty of nothing." "Your Majesty, wait and I'll tell you everything" "It was the day Helena gave birth." "We were thinking how to get back to the palace, when we found this baby in a basket on the river." "Then we told you it was her twin." "He's not your son." "So if he's not my son, what is he?" "So if you're not my mother, who is?" "Me!" "My baby!" "Son!" "Oh no, dairy whore!" "Oh no!" "As you see, the empress is guilty of absolutely nothing." "It was me who planned everything." "She's guilty of nothing, ha?" "Theodore, my sword!" "Everyone's guilty." "You're all going to die." "The lot of you!" "Helena, I'm sending you to the herd of girls you've produced." "You will die too!" "Get off my mother, ignorant pig!" "You murdered enough people as it is." "Idiot, she's not your mother." "Guards!" "Grab him!" "What are you waiting for?" "Grab him!" "Farewell, brother." "You go and rescue the prisoners, Basketcase." "OK, SOS." "Kill them all!" "Kill them all!" "Basketcase, Rabbit and Hadji Makaryos Chelebi!" "Bravo, Rabbit!" "Perfect timing!" "His Majesty Horribilis X VI!" "Get out of here, retard!" "What are you doing?" "Horribilis is escaping!" "Horribilis is escaping!" "Your Majesty?" "Lombelicus, I'm running away." "You can't escape anywhere now, dog." "Oh, Theodora..." "Sweet sister..." "I'm not your sister." "I'm his sister." "But Theodora..." "There are no buts, Horribilis." "I've put up with enough of you and your impudence." "As you have no sons, the empire will pass to my son when you die." "And therefore to me." "There's no need to rush things." "Besides, I'll die within the next 80 years, Theodora." "Then Simitis will come to the throne and as such you'll be queen." "I can't wait that long, Horribilis." "You will die now..." "Thank you, Lombelicus, for saving my life." "But I can never forgive you for killing my sister." "But your Majesty, she was about to kill you." "Hey, what's it have to do with you?" "What's it to you, spineless?" "You think it's your job to kill her when I'm around?" "Out of the way, move back." "Superwarrior's here." "Long live Superwarrior!" "You too." "Come on, men!" "Come on!" "Basketcase!" "Wait!" "What do you want?" "Don't you recognize me, Basketcase?" "Sure I do." "Theodora, you slut." "Not Theodora, Basketcase." "Eftelia." "Eftelia?" "Eftelia!" "Basketcase!" "Eftelia, my love." "I spent years looking for you, Eftelia." "Where on earth were you?" "I didn't tell you that day, but..." "I'm Horribilis's sister, Basketcase." "When I first saw you at the palace, I was devastated." "But if he'd found out I knew you," "Horribilis would have killed you me, everyone." "I never forgot you, Basketcase." "Me neither..." "Nor the "Nine 1/2 Weeks" we spent in that hayloft." "You know, Basketcase, you left me a souvenir of those days." "What?" "We had a son, Basketcase." "Simitis." "A son?" "Wait, don't tire yourself out." "I'll pull the knife out." "Mother..." "You'd kill my mother, ha?" "Filthy Najar!" "You're disgusting!" "I vow that there is no god but God." "No!" "Mother!" "Don't worry, Mother." "It's all over." "You!" "What have you done?" "What's the matter, Mother?" "What have I done?" "What else?" "You've killed your father." "Fuck it!" "My father?" "Yes, that was your father." "He was pulling the knife out of my back..." "I met him years ago when I was dancing at the circus." "He was a stableman." "Just as we find each other years later, you go and kill him." "I mean, you really fucked up, Simitis." "Father." "Forgive me, Father!" "Son..." "Forgive me, Father..." "Please Father, forgive me..." "OK, man, OK!" "Stop crying like a woman and get up." "You're a Najar now." "Najars don't even cry if their parents die at the same time." "Come on!" "Get up and fight like a real man!" "You're right, SOS." "It's time to attack the infidels!" "Give us a sword!" "Oh, cursed Horribilis!" "Prepare yourself!" "Grab him!" "He's running away!" "Wait, you guys stay here." "Protect me." "And don't let the press in." "Get moving, come on!" "Quick!" "So you're here, bastard." "You're finished, chestnut face." "I'll make you regret ever being born, you bugger." "Go on then, nose shit." "Hey, what's that?" "Give me that sword!" "But, your Majesty..." "That's for my mother!" "Didn't hurt!" "That's for my father!" "Didn't hurt." "Not a bit." "That's for Basketcase!" "Didn't hurt, man!" "And that's for my uncle who died of TB." "Shit, that hurt!" "Did it hurt?" "Make way, goddamn it." "Make way..." "SOS..." "SOS, come closer..." "Come closer!" "Here!" "You hear the bell ring?" "He's dead, the dog." "SOS..." "Emanuel..." "No, it's not Emanuel, SOS." "I'm one of you now." "My name's now Emine VI." "I belong by your side." "The pleasure is mine, Emine VI." "Infidel." "Brother." "I have a surprise for you too." "SOS, sister in law, we're getting married!" "Long live my so!" "In the end everyone got what they wanted." "Hadji Makaryos Chelebi became minister of religious affairs in the village." "His relations with the army cooled." "Just before he died he left the village and became a Buddhist." "After embracing manhood rather late in the day, Simitis became Abuzer." "When he couldn't abide by the laws of the village and marry he emigrated to Denmark where he set up a happy home." "Superwarrior, who became head of the village after 25 years in jail developed tetanus from the door hinges embedded in his backside and died." "He was buried together with the door." "Martyr had a supremely happy marriage with Infidel." "Keeping well away from politics, Infidel entered the olive business choosing to become an olive tycoon instead." "Emine VI and SOS were married." "Taking over as head of the village SOS had 12 sons who looked like their grandfather, Horribilis." "Go with the flow, meanwhile, married Water Nymph." "He met her swimming in the river." "They had 3 kids and 2 turtles." "Believing onions and garlic to be the best method of birth control the Najars experienced a veritable population explosion." "Ultimately, they were to spread themselves over 5 continents." "DVD SubRip by KaraGarga 28.08.2004"