"Tell me what the problem is, Toby." "Previously on The West Wing:" "I'm Sam, sir." "I'm the deputy communications director." "I'm Leo McGarry, White House chief of staff." "I'm personal aide to the president." "I'm the press secretary." "It's an unavoidable conflict of interest." " You're the communications director." " I'm a speech writer." "Matter of fact, I'm the deputy chief of staff." "Which makes me deputy, deputy chief of staff." "Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States." "Thank you very much." "Coast Guard, this is San Diego Port Police boat...." "I need Romero and Rydell on backup." "I'm checking with the lieutenant." "I'm gonna need them there in 20." " Repeat, please." " Need them in 20." "Why the priority?" " We need a support team out there." " Yes, sir." "Take these right over there." "Cmdr. Cale?" "Joseph Russo, INS." "It's the container ship Horizon." "We're holding them a half-mile out." "They started from the Fujian province." " How many?" " Maybe a hundred." "Call the State Department?" "Yeah, we'll need some translators who speak Mandarin." "We got them." "Are we talking about expedited removal or...?" " I'm sorry?" " Are we talking about expedited removal?" "That's not up to me." ""Over three and a half centuries ago, strengthened by faith and bound by a common desire for liberty Pilgrims sought out a place in the New World where they could worship according to their own beliefs. "" " And solve crimes." " Sam." " It'd be good." " Read the thing." "By day, they churn butter and worship." "By night, they solve crimes." " Read the thing." " Pilgrim detectives." " Do you see me laughing?" " On the inside." " With the big hats." " Give me the speech." "Have either of you heard of, I don't know, the something the Jamestown Mayflower Daughters of the American Revolution Preservation Society?" " The Jamestown...?" " I may have gotten the name wrong." "They're inviting the White House to participate in some Thanksgiving Revolutionary War re-enactment." "Let's not torture American History completely to death." " Who the hell...?" " Jamestown was the 16th century." "The Mayflower landed at Plymouth in the 17th century." "The fathers of the Daughters of the American Revolution..." " ... fought in the 18th century." " It's a festival feast of some kind." "Who cares?" "Somebody needs to learn the meaning of Thanksgiving." "Re-enactments and proclamations and Native American corn-husk hanging contests with native..." " Corn-husk hanging?" " I'm the Thanksgiving cruise director." " It wasn't like this last year?" " I wasn't here." " Where were you?" " They sent me home." "You don't remember me having a 101.7-degree fever..." " ... and flulike symptoms?" " No." "Every time we come up on a holiday you check out like seniors who are done with finals." "We're writing an important Thanksgiving proclamation." " And a new action-adventure series." " Nobody here has checked out." "I was just flipping a nickel in my office." "Sixteen times in a row, it came up tails." " I'm going home." " Have a good night." "Sixteen times in a row." "Excuse me." "Fellas?" "It's okay." "You can come in here." "Morton Horn from Jasper Farms in Virginia." "Tell them what you're doing." " I'm dropping off the turkeys." " He's dropping off the turkeys." "Nobody left instructions." "He had a pass for the northwest entrance." " I'm dropping off the turkeys." " Yeah." "Where should I put them?" " C.J. 's office." " C.J." "Definitely put them in C.J.'s office." "Right there." " Right here." "Donna will show you." " C.J. handles all the birds." " C.J." " Okay." "And, Morton." "Ms. Cregg is gone for the night, and her office is secure so let the turkeys out of the cage and allow them to roam freely, as they were meant to do." " Okay." " Okay." " Show her who's slacking off." " Pizza?" "Josh?" "They need you on the phone." "A Cmdr. Cale of the Coast Guard is talking to the watch commander." " They want you to sit in on the call." " Why?" " Something about a boat from China." " Josh Lyman." "It's an 800-foot container ship called the Horizon." "Eighty-three Chinese were stowed away in containers." " I heard 96." " Thirteen of them died on the way." " What happened to the dead bodies?" " They came over with the 83 live ones." "INS has them in a temporary detention facility by the water." "Brief C.J." " Doing anything for Thanksgiving?" " The first family." "You?" " Toby, Sam and I will watch football." " Brief C.J. on the Chinese." "Yeah." "Leo, do me a favor, would you?" "Don't tell the president we're watching football." "He'll invite us for dinner." "Yes." "Upon hearing that you're free the president will insist that you join him for dinner." "We've been working hard, and we'd prefer to watch football rather than listen to a history of yam in Latin." " Brief C.J." " Yeah." " Listen." " What?" "About 100 Chinese stowed away in the cargo hold of a container ship." "INS has them in a temporary internment camp in San Diego." " I'll need more." " I don't have more." "I will in a few minutes, so stay out of the Press Room." "And the recess appointments?" "Toby wants to talk to the president about adding a name." " Who?" " Josephine McGarry." " Really?" " Yeah." "Is this as a favor to Leo?" "Toby's sniffing for a fight on school prayer." "He'll get one." "I'm gonna see what's next for me in this week of unendurable Thanksgiving nonsense." " Hey, C.J." " Hey, Carol." "Oh, yeah." " The turkeys came." " Wait, wait!" "I'm coming." " I didn't think you were here yet." " I am." " The turkeys came." " So Carol said." "Excuse me." "Josh, Toby and Sam said they should go in your office." " These are the turkeys." " Turkeys for what?" "You weren't here last year." " When?" " Over Thanksgiving." "You were sick." "Every year on Thanksgiving..." " ... the president pardons a turkey." " He pardons a turkey?" " It's your event..." " Why are there two?" " I'm sorry?" " Why are there two turkeys?" " The press secretary decides..." " No!" "...which of the two finalists is more photogenic." " Their names..." " I don't wanna know their names." "This one's Eric, and this one's Troy." " Eric and Troy?" " Yeah." "I'm to choose the more photogenic of the two to receive a presidential pardon?" "I have a master's degree from the University of California at Berkeley." " That's a good school." " Yeah." "They eat grain or, really, whatever's lying around." "And Troy doesn't like to be touched." " Okay, I'd like to be alone now." " I understand." " Hey, Sam." " What's going on?" "I'm shopping for a new carving knife for the president." "He takes carving knives very seriously." "Yes, I've discovered." "I need a few minutes to talk about the Chinese." "Something's going on." " What?" " We're just getting it now." " How'd it go?" " I think I've got it." " I wouldn't get your hopes up, dear." " No, this is a very good knife." " He's particular." " That's one word for it." "I heard that." "Mr. President." " I think you'll find these to your liking." " Yes, yes." " Indeed I do." " Excellent." "Chef's Choice." "Twice the amount of carbon which means it'll hold a sharp edge 10 times longer." "And you can see the handle, which is texturized molded polymer." "Has no rivets or air pockets." "I'm glad you're happy." " This is an American knife." " Yes." " No German knives for us." " No, sir." " Good job." " Thank you." "Hold on." "Sir?" " No, the balance isn't right." " I'll take it back, sir." " You know what we need?" " A German knife?" "I'll get on it." "And, Mr. President, Sam asked me to give you a heads up." "He'll need a few minutes to talk about San Diego." " They already briefed me on San Diego." " He said there might be something else." " Thank you." " Sir?" "The Germans know how to make a knife, Charlie." "Josephine McGarry?" "She's been put on a lot of shortlists." " She's a pretty controversial woman." " That's not a flaw." "It is when it's a recess appointment." "Recess appointment assumes the Senate will have no problem with the nominee." "The Senate's gonna have a considerable problem." "That's the Senate's problem." "You wanna have a debate on school prayer." " Yes." " This will start it." "I've gotta say, look, I'm just..." "Toby, I'm not wild about the woman." "I've known her for 25 years." "She's All About Eve." "I wouldn't cast her in a play, but at the Department of Education..." "Wanna have a debate on school prayer?" "This'll start it." " What are we talking about?" " Recess appointments." " I've got the final list right here." " Hey, Leo." ""James Elkins, assistant secretary of Transportation for Aviation." "Leslie Cryer, assistant secretary of Commerce for Economic Development." "Umberto Sepio, deputy administrator for the EPA. "" " Leo, we're adding a name." " Who?" " Josey." " No, no." "Assistant secretary for Primary and Secondary Education." " Did my...?" " We want the debate." "My sister call and ask you for this?" " She did not call me." " I'm amazed." " She called me." " Take her name off the list." "It's not patronage if she's qualified." "Which she is." "Ph.D. in education, six years as a principal four years as superintendent and a significant Democrat." " They'll bring up school prayer." " No kidding." "Please don't hop on the back of Toby's horse." "It'll take you to a fight we're not geared for." "We are geared for it." "If we're not, we should get out." "Sure." "You first." " I'll take the meetings." " Take the meetings and start with aides to the Republican leadership and gauge exactly the volume of dumbness with no reward we can expect." "Excuse me, Mr. President." " Take the meetings." " I'm very happy to." "There's a wrinkle in the situation in San Diego." " What is it?" " You're not gonna believe it." "They're claiming they're Christian Evangelicals fleeing persecution." " You're kidding me?" " They're seeking religious asylum." " You're kidding me?" " No." "The Christian community will scream that they've gotta stay." "China's gonna say, "Send them back. " INS is gonna say, "The law's the law. "" "This is a whole new thing." "Well, the INS conducts something called a "credible-fear interview. "" "This is not a hearing on whether or not to grant asylum." "It's to determine if the detainee has a credible fear that they'll be harmed if returned to their country." "Will the White House meet with the Christian community..." " ... to hear their input?" " Yes." "We'll be meeting with the Rev. Al Caldwell members of Beijing's Embassy and INS agents." "The president asked Josh Lyman and Sam Seaborn to run these meetings." "It's possible that by week's end we'll have alienated Christians, China and our government." "That's all I have on the refugees." "I was gonna release the list of recess appointments, but I'll wait." "The list has been sent to the committee chairs and one of them will leak it to you this afternoon." "I remind you that it's Thanksgiving week which means the traditional presidential pardon of the chosen turkey." "That will be Wednesday afternoon." "Thursday, the president will make his proclamation in the Rose Garden." "Among the guests will be the Boys and Girls Clubs of America and members of Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America." " Will you be leading them in song?" " I'm sorry?" "The press secretary usually leads the kids in song." "Of course I will be leading them in song." "For I am the press secretary." "Thank you." " Happy Thanksgiving." " I gotta learn some songs." "Don't bring it up at the meeting." " Josh..." " Don't bring it up at the meeting." "The guy threatened to blow up a theater in the name of God." " A theater with people in it." " Yes." "But sending illegal Chinese immigrants back to China is objectionable." "Don't bring it up at the meeting." " It might slip out." " Shove it back in." " Good morning, Rev. Caldwell." " Morning, Josh." "Sam." " Good morning, Reverend." " Good morning, everybody." "Welcome." "Good morning, Mary." "The White House faces considerable embarrassment if the president maintains his stranglehold on indifference when it comes to persecuted Christians around the world." "Okay, we're done with good morning." "They are from a country that oppresses Christians." "The president has to grant their asylum request." "The president doesn't grant asylum requests." "The INS judge does." "The INS Judge is gonna do what the president urges him to do." "If the president doesn't urge the judge to grant asylum, he'll wish he had." "Mary, I swear to God you're not gonna get anywhere in this building by threatening me." "Do we know that they were persecuted in China?" " Excuse me?" " Do we know they were persecuted?" " They're Christians." " I believe that." " I'm asking if they were persecuted." " Yes." "How do you know?" "They stuffed themselves in 20-by-20 foot compartments for a month and a half." "Why would they be here?" "The leaders of the Fengcheng Church were thrown into labor camps." "Last August, three Taiwanese-born American Evangelicals were arrested in Henan province." "For "activities incompatible with tourist status under which they entered China. "" "For spreading the gospel, 100 of their followers were detained." "A woman was beaten by the police." "Chinese Catholics are being arrested for recognizing the Vatican's authority." "An 82-year-old bishop was released after 30 years in prison, then arrested again." "An 84-year-old bishop was tortured until he passed out." " He's now in a coma." " China harasses Christians, Josh." "State Department says so." "Amnesty International says so." "I say so." "It is fact." "And the millions of American Christians and Christians around the world will not stand blithely by while religious freedom is threatened." " Sure you will." " Sam..." "They will stand blithely by while religious freedom is threatened." " They're just not doing it this time." " Okay..." " Is this about the play?" " Guy writes a play called Apostles, in which Jesus Christ is gay, and you protest." "Fine." "When a guy threatens to blow up the theater, you guys are nowhere." " That play was disgusting." " You're committed to religious freedom unless you don't like what they have to say?" " That's not..." " Don't look but the playwright's headed to China." "Josh?" " Sorry about that." " No, Sam's right." "It's a point well-taken." "I don't wanna get bogged down in a Mary Marsh mud fight." " This is too important." " Yes." "I want you to know." "I want the president to know." "My church will pay out the bond for each of the refugees." " It might be more money..." " I know how much we're talking about." "My church will pay it." "If they won't, I will." "Okay, thank you, Reverend." "I'll pass that along." " Good morning, Toby." " Good morning." " You look determined." " I am, sir." "Good boy." "Before we get to anything else, I object to the totally crappy way we were informed about this." "You knew you were getting the list of appointments." " What makes you think...?" " Article ll, Section 2." ""The president shall have the power to fill vacancies that may happen during the recess of the Senate by granting commissions which shall expire at the end of their next session. "" " You can't just slip her in." " Slip who in?" " Don't be cute." " Can't help it." "McGarry's sister." "It's Mr. McGarry, and her name is Dr. Josephine McGarry." "She has a Ph.D. in education from Cornell." "She's published many scholarly essays on public education." "Superintendent of the Atlanta School District, servicing 58,000 students with some of the highest standardized-test scores in the country." "What troubles the senators you work for about her résumé?" " I think you know." " I do, but I'd like you to say it." "She's anti-religion." " Is she?" " Yes, she is." "She's on the board of visitors at her church." "She teaches Sunday mornings at the Immaculate Heart of Mary." "You know what we're talking about." "She's against prayer." " She's against prayer?" " School prayer." "As she's published in her scholarly essays." "You wanna know who else is against it?" "The 11 th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals." "Organized prayer in public schools is prohibited." "Your problem with her is that while superintendent, she enforced the law." "A law that 70 percent say is wrong." "Seventy percent of people..." "Laws don't work like that, Wayne." "We don't ask for a show of hands." " You understand that the Republicans...?" " No, I don't!" "Can you explain to me slowly, using small words and visual aids?" "The Senate Republicans will hold up the confirmations of other nominees." "This is an abuse of the recess appointment." "It's there for convenience." "It's not there to circumvent the Senate's constitutional right to confirm nominees." "Neither is the filibuster." "I'll put down my gun when you put down yours." "If you don't think she'd be confirmed, then it's outrageous..." "No, what is outrageous is that this would never come to vote in session." "There's no way the Senate could not confirm her." "She's too qualified." "This would never come to a vote." "So hold up appointments, shut down the government because a teacher did as she was told." "You'll give us a second term, and we don't even leave the building." "But not because I'm right and you're wrong, though I am and you are but just because I am better at this than you." "Not this time." "I'm sorry?" "You're not better this time." "This is a picture of her." "Doing what?" "Enforcing the law." "At a home game, there was an organized prayer." "She's breaking it up." "Yes, she is." " It's not good, but it's not..." " These are high school students." "Two of them are on their knees praying while being handcuffed with my sister standing next to the cop whose hand is on his nightstick." "He's resting it on his nightstick." "I'm sure that explanation will be in the caption." "One of the students is wearing his marching-band uniform." "One is black." " Listen..." " You say it's not good?" "That's a penetrating diagnosis from the White House communications director." " We were aware of the incident." " We didn't know there was art." " It's a local paper." " It's not local anymore." "I can save it." " Does she know she was submitted?" " Yes." " How?" " I called her." " I can save this." " Margaret!" "Football game, high school, marching band, on their knees." "The only thing breaking up Norman Rockwell are the cops, the handcuffs and my sister." "Get Josephine on the phone." "I begged you to go slow with this nomination." "The post needed..." "The post did not desperately need to be filled." "Neither the economy nor national security nor infrastructure will collapse without an assistant secretary of Primary and Secondary Education." " It brings the problem front and center." " Great." " And what prize do we get for that?" " Leo..." "What prize do we get for bringing it front and center?" " Leo?" " What?" "Your sister." "I'll be in my office." "It brings your problem front and center, Toby." "Leave the newspaper." "Hey, Jo." " Donna?" " Hey, C.J." "Can I borrow you for just a minute?" "Hey, C.J." "I'd love to talk with you, but I have a turkey pardoning in five minutes." " I thought that was tomorrow." " Tomorrow's the singing." " You're singing?" " I'm leading the song." " Excellent." " I need Donna for a moment." " You need help with the song?" " I don't need help." "Donna?" "INS guys will be here in a minute." " What do you need?" " The song." "Isn't it the usual song?" ""We Gather Together" is the usual song." " You know it?" " Everybody does." " I don't!" " Didn't you go to elementary school?" "Yes." "Right before being a National Merit Scholar." " The madrigals will know the song." " The madrigals?" "Guys wearing costumes and playing the lute." "You're not the one conducting a musical on CNN." "Want me to teach you the song?" "Now?" "Not now." "Right now I have actual serious work to do." "Okay, showtime, guys." "I've observed you under a number of conditions, and this is the final." "I can't have you wigging out in the president's face." "I don't like the photo, so...." "You both did fine." "Troy, I want you to know it was neck and neck, but I'm giving it to Eric." "You were in it right until the end, but it's the flapping thing." "It's of some concern to me that I've been talking out loud." "That's very unsettling." "Okay, Eric, here we go." "Come on, let's go." "You support him under his hindquarters." "I don't know where his hindquarters are, and I'm not gonna look that hard." "Come on." "Down." "Troy." "Passage usually costs anywhere from 20 to 40,000 dollars." "Forty thousand dollars buys them a spot in the container?" " How do they have $40,000?" " They don't." "They pay off the smugglers when they get here." " They become indentured servants." " Sweatshops?" "Drugs, prostitution." "Al Caldwell and the Christian League offered to pay their bond." "They should know it's not uncommon for them to be coached." " On religious persecution?" " It's a good alibi." "Listen, you gotta be serious about illegal immigration." "You gotta do these things within existing laws." " Thanks for coming by." " Good seeing you." " Take it easy." " You too." "A lot of them left their families." "Two months on the water in a container." "Dead bodies in there." "They had to want it." "Mr. President?" "We're all set." " What am I doing?" " Pardoning a turkey." "Okay." "Mr. President?" " Excellent." " I think you'll like this." "The Messermeister." "Meridian 3000 series." "One-piece forged blade, riveted POM handles." "Terrific." " I don't like the handles." " Okay." " Mr. President." " How's it going?" "We've taken a couple of dozen meetings in the last two days." " Met with Chinese Embassy officials?" " Last night." "They say..." "Christians aren't persecuted in China." "Since they're not oppressed, they don't qualify for refugee status." "Under U.S. or U.N. conditions, yeah." "They also make the point that they broke Chinese law when they left..." " ... and should be sent back." " It's a fair point." "The INS agents also feel it's not uncommon in this situation for refugees to, how do I put it..." " ... feign faith." " Yeah, they'll be coached." " How do you tell between...?" " You guys know what a shibboleth is?" " It's a catch phrase, isn't it?" " A cliché." "It comes from the Bible." ""Then said now unto him, 'Say now shibboleth. '" "And he said, 'sibboleth,' for he could not frame to pronounce it right. "" "It was a password." "A way the army used to distinguish true Israelites from impostors sent across the river Jordan by the enemy." "I'm having one of the Chinese refugees flown here." "I'll meet with him tonight." "Mr. President, I can't..." "Indefinitely with a turkey..." "Mr. President, what are you gonna ask the Chinese refugee?" "I'm gonna ask him to say "shibboleth. "" " She's here?" " Yeah." "Okay." "I understand they've already started beating the drums over me." "I don't need to tell you that I won't shrink from a fight." "No, you don't." "In fact, you look for them." " Just like my brother." " I don't look for fights." "They look for me." "I'm trying to stage-manage an undisciplined White House through a difficult time." "I haven't experienced an easy one yet." "This is gonna be a big victory for us, Leo." "I will have support lined up from the AFT, the NEA." "I will..." "Josey, I want you to withdraw your name from consideration." "Why?" "You feel you can do more as superintendent in Atlanta." " No, I mean, why...?" " Because the president won't..." " ... and even if he would, it'd look bad." " I'm asking..." " They've got a newspaper picture." " Of what?" " You know of what." " There are a lot of pictures." "This one is special." "This one is "game's over. "" " The handcuffs?" " Yeah." "And you wouldn't even consider sticking by me?" "A few years ago, on a campaign swing through the South I met a stringer photographer named Odabee Jones." "It was an unusual name, and so I've remembered it." "He told me he had you to thank for starting his career in photojournalism because you'd give him a heads up when something's worth shooting." " Leo, what in God's name...?" " Look at the photo credit on the picture." "You called a photographer." "You wanted a picture taken of that." "Those kids are commendable." "In this day and age, those kids are phenomenal." "Now we have laws, and they are difficult and they have to be enforced, and it's right that they're enforced." "But we do not strut ever." "Is there something you need me to sign?" "Anything else?" "Kiss your kids hello for me." "She'll get over it." "She hasn't gotten over my making her return the stolen Milk Duds." " You were right." " I know." "Josey was the wrong face to put on this." "But I'll tell you why it should be front and center." "It's not the First Amendment." "It's not religious freedom." "It's not Church and State." "It's not abstract." "What is it?" "It's the fourth-grader who gets his ass kicked at recess because he sat out the voluntary prayer in homeroom." "It's another way of making kids different from other kids." "And they're required by law to be there." "That's why you want it front and center." "The fourth-grader." "That's the prize." "What did they do to you?" "You're right about that part." "That part needs to be talked about more." " It does." " Okay." "What are you doing for dinner?" "Josh and Sam and I are watching the game." " I'm with the first family." " Okay." "Hey, do me a favor." "Don't tell the president..." "The president could honestly give a damn what you guys are doing tomorrow." "Yeah." "That's...." "Mr. President?" " Is he here?" " Yes, sir." "Good." "Did we get an interpreter?" "He speaks English." "He's a chemistry professor." "There was a while I wanted to be a chemistry professor." " What happened?" " I never actually studied chemistry." "These college chemistry departments are really demanding that way." "Mr. President." " Jhin Wei?" " Yes, sir." " I'm Jed Bartlet." "This is Leo McGarry." " How do you do?" " Thank you for coming all this way." " Yes, sir." " Fellas, would you mind waiting outside?" " Certainly." "Would you care to sit down?" "It's perfectly all right." "There are sandwiches." "If you get hungry feel free to eat as much as you please." "Yes, sir." "There are questions as to the veracity of your claim to asylum." "Yes, sir." "How did you become a Christian?" "I began attending a house church with my wife in Fujian." " Eventually, I was baptized." " How do you practice?" "We share Bibles." "We don't have enough." "We sing hymns." "We hear sermons." "We recite the Lord's Prayer." "We are charitable." "Who's the head of your church?" "The head of our parish is an 84-year-old man named Wen Ling." "He's been beaten and imprisoned many times." "The head of our church is Jesus Christ." "Can you name any of Jesus' Apostles?" "If you can't, that's okay." "I usually can't remember the names of my kids." " Or for that matter..." " Peter, Andrew, John, Philip Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, Thaddaeus Simon, Judas and James." "Mr. President Christianity is not demonstrated through a recitation of facts." "You're seeking evidence of faith." "A wholehearted acceptance of God's promise of a better world." "" For we hold that man is justified by faith alone, " is what St. Paul said." "Justified by faith alone." "Faith is the true...." "I'm trying to..." "Shibboleth." "Faith is the true shibboleth." "Yes, it is." "And you, sir, just said the magic word in more ways than one." "Thank you." " It was a pleasure to meet you." " Thank you, Mr. President." "We're trying to sell more 747s to China, already a big customer." "We want China to crack down on violators of American copyrights." "We're trying to get China to negotiate a settlement with Tibet." " Right." " Right." "We don't have to grant asylum." "If you're suggesting what I think you are, you should know it's happened before." " Where are they?" " An INS detention facility in Otay Mesa." "They're being guarded by INS agents, aided by members of the 22nd Division of the California National Guard." " Not the Coast Guard?" " No." "Before...." "When it happened before, how did it work?" "Well, you don't wanna piss off China, and you don't want to send them back so you gotta ask yourself, how secure is the INS detention facility?" "Mrs. Landingham?" "Yes, sir." "I need to talk to the governor of California." "We're starting in five minutes." "You can move the press to the Rose Garden." " Hey, Toscanini." " I'm busy." " You learning the song?" " I know the song." ""We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing." "He chastens and hastens his will to make known. "" " You know what it means?" " I don't have to." "I don't know what you're doing for dinner tonight, but Josh..." "It's about time you ask me." "I've been sitting here for two weeks, turning down very glamorous invitations from people I like a lot more than you." " Can't ask at the last minute..." " If you can't..." " No!" "I can come!" " Good." " Should I bring anything?" " Yeah." "Do you know how to cook food?" "We're in the Rose Garden in five minutes." "C.J, this is Morton Horn." "He's from Jasper Farms, here to take a turkey back." " What do you mean?" " I've gotta take one back." "No, no!" "These turkeys are going to a petting zoo in Delaware." "Well, one of them is." "Yeah, but I'm gonna send both of them." "Jasper Farms donated one turkey, the other..." "But I'll take them both." "No, I gotta take a turkey back." "I'm gonna buy him from you." "Thirty bucks?" " These turkeys are $275." " For a turkey?" " They're specially raised." " At the Waldorf?" " Ma'am..." " I'll pay it." " It's been sold." " Give them a different turkey." " All the turkeys have been sold." " C.J...." "It was my understanding that one was to be pardoned and the other one sent back." "I chose Eric because Troy doesn't like to be touched which we're not going to execute him for." " Ma'am, I have a job..." " Come with me, please." " Ma'am?" " Grab the turkey and come with me." "All right." "Mrs. Landingham, can I look at a copy of the Thanksgiving proclamation?" " Sir, why don't you use the intercom?" " Because..." " You don't know how to use it." " I was standing at the door." "Maybe you can get one of the fourth-graders to come in and show you how to use the intercom." " Can I look at a copy?" " Sam is bringing it." " Mr. President." " What you got?" "A winner, Mr. President." "The 1985 Komin Yamada." "Made in Japan from the best materials." "Lighter-weight blades." "Facilitates cutting and reduces user fatigue." " I once test-drove the Komin Yamada." " And?" " Not wild about it." "How...?" " Okay, Mr. President." "I say this with all possible respect, but each of these knives cuts you know, meat." "Why is it important...?" "It's something we pass on." "Something with a history." "So we can say, " My father gave this to me his father gave it to him, I'm giving it to you. "" "Well, okay, but if that's true, then why don't you already have one?" "I do have one." " Why do you need a new one?" " I'm giving mine away." " To who?" " Whom." " To whom?" " Funny you should ask." "Charlie, my father gave this to me, and his father gave it to him and now I'm giving it to you." "Take a look." "The fully tapered bolster allows for sharpening the entire edge of the blade." "It says, "P.R. "" "I thought I knew them all, but I don't recognize it." "These were made for my family by a Boston silversmith named Paul Revere." "Mr. President?" "I'm proud of you, Charlie." "Thank you, sir." "Five minutes in the Rose Garden." " Mr. President?" " Yes." " Hi." " Hi." " Sorry to ask you this, but..." " Not too late to stop yourself." " I need you to pardon a turkey." " I already pardoned one." " Another one." " Didn't I do it right?" "You did great, but I need you to pardon another." "Won't I get a reputation for being soft on turkeys?" "Sir, can you get this over with?" "No, I'm not gonna get this..." "What the hell's going on?" "They sent me two turkeys." "The more photo-friendly one gets a presidential pardon and a full life at a children's zoo." "The runner-up gets eaten." "If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch." " Buy the second turkey." " It's already sold." " There's not much I can do." " Pardon the turkey." " The turkey hasn't committed a crime." " Sir..." "C.J., I have, really, no judicial jurisdiction over birds." "I know that, and you know that, but Morton Horn doesn't know that." "He's the high school kid from the turkey place." "And he doesn't know I can't pardon his turkey?" "That's what I'm betting." "If we don't completely overhaul public education in this country..." " Yes, but this is not the best time to..." " Where is he?" "Right out here." "Morton, this is President Bartlet." " Hey, Morton." " Wow!" " Well said." "Is that the turkey?" " Yes." " You're pardoned." " Sir?" " What do you want?" " You know...." "By the power vested in me by the Constitution of the United States..." " ..." "I hereby pardon you." " Okay." " No, it's not okay." " Sir?" "Morton, I can't pardon a turkey." "If you think I can pardon a turkey, then go back to your school and insist to be better prepared to go out in the world." "You can't pardon a turkey?" "No." "I'll tell you what I can do." "I'm drafting this turkey into military service." "In the meantime, somebody will draft a check with my signature on it so the folks can buy themselves a Butterball." "Okay." "Take Troy back to his pen and remember to support his hindquarters." " What's wrong...?" " The turkey's hindquarters." " I'm still waiting for the thing." " Here." "Let's go in." " Sir?" " Give me two minutes." "I'm going to step out there and begin the singing and lute playing." "Whatever." "I assume you've heard." "By the way, the Latin word for yam is Dioscorea." "You've heard?" " About the Chinese refugees?" " They escaped." "I know." "Can you believe it?" "No, neither one of us can believe it, sir." "That detention center was being guarded by the California National Guard." "Now what does it say about our Reserve Army?" "That 83 men, women and children who haven't eaten in two months, staged a prison break?" "Let me read this." "" Over three and a half centuries ago, strengthened by faith and bound by a common desire for liberty a small band of Pilgrims sought out a place in the New World where they could worship according to their own beliefs." "Therefore, I, Josiah Bartlet, President of the United States by virtue of the authority and laws vested in me do hereby proclaim this to be a National Day of Thanksgiving. "" "I'll see you out there, sir." "You asked the governor to stand down the 22nd Division." "And call in the Red Cross." "We didn't do anything illegal." "You're not involved in any massive criminal conspiracy." "I wasn't letting them go, and we needed to help China save face." "They can tell their people that the mighty American military was overpowered by..." "So the guy passed the test, huh?" "You think I would have sent him back if he failed catechism?" "Let me tell you something." "We can be the world's policeman." "We can be the world's bank, the world's factory, the world's farm." "What does it mean if we're not also...?" "They made it to the New World, Josh." "You know what I get to do now?" "I get to proclaim a National Day of Thanksgiving." "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the president of the United States." "This is a great job."