"Previously on The Affair..." "Helen, nothing is gonna happen." "I'm not gonna contact her." "I won't see her." "Why should I believe you?" "You know, we used to be a team." "We still are." "No, now we're just two idiots that don't know how to handle anything." "You wanted to fuck someone, Bailey." "You could have fucked me." "[Whack] Ah!" "Hal and I are planning on traveling once the sale goes through." "Well, I wouldn't cut the checks just yet." "We've still got a ton of work to do here." "Scotty, what are you doing here?" "Oh, hey." "Hi." "Good to see you." "You too." "My grandmother had a heart attack." "She raised me." "I know this pain feels familiar." "I need to know that I'm not making a mistake." "I know every cell in your body wants to keep her alive, but holding on to her is not gonna bring him back." "I love you." "I love you too." "♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪" "♪ At the moment of my death" "♪ the echo I created" "♪ outlasted my last breath" "♪ my voice, it made an avalanche ♪" "♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪" "♪ And when he died" "♪ his widowed bride met your daddy ♪" "♪ And they made you" "♪ I have only one thing to do" "♪ and that's be the wave that I am ♪" "♪ And then sink back into the ocean ♪" "♪ I have only one thing to do" "♪ and that's be the wave that I am ♪" "♪ And then sink back into the ocean ♪" "♪ I have only one thing to do" "♪ and that's be the wave that I am ♪" "♪ And then sink back into the ocean ♪" "♪ Sink back into the ocean" "♪ sink back into the o" "♪ sink back into the ocean" "♪ sink back into the o" "♪ sink back into the ocean" "[Bell ringing]" " Thank you, pretty lady." " Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." "Oh!" "[Laughs]" "You're late." "Traffic." "[Bell dinging in background]" " Man:" "Taxi!" " [Shrieks]" "Actually, this is a really bad idea." "Yeah, it is a really, really bad idea." "Come on." "Do you have any rooms?" "Uh, I'm sorry, sir." "Looks like all of our standard rooms are booked." "But our two-room terrace suite is available." "It has a water view, and that comes to $1,250." "What?" "Why?" "Well, it's the holidays, sir." " And this is New York." " This is Brooklyn." "Is there really a distinction anymore?" "Well, Jane is studying for the midterm, so we can't go there." "What about your friend max?" "No, he's home." "I thought everyone left the city over the holidays." "Max has got nowhere to go." "Well, we could go to a museum." "I don't want to go to a museum." "[Laughs]" "Well, what are we gonna do?" "It's freezing." "I don't know." "Wait." "Is this your hou..." "Noah." "No." "Come on, it's cold." "I'll make you a cup of coffee." "This is insane." "Where's your wife?" "Her and a friend are taking the kids upstate, skiing, then back tonight." " I don't know." " Come on." "I'm not gonna fuck you in my wife's bed." "[Both moaning]" " I love you." " I love you too." " What?" " I love you too." " Oh." " Say it again." "I love you." "I love you." "[Both moaning]" "[Both breathing hard]" "[Chuckles]" "So I was thinking..." "What if I got my own place?" "What do you mean?" "Just a studio." "I could use it as a writing space, finish my book." "You could stay there when you come to town." "That sounds good." "And when I move out..." "It could be our starter apartment." "Move out?" "Yeah." "You mean you want to..." "Yeah." "If that's what you want." "Yes." "I promise it'll be worth the wait." "Oh, my god." "This is insane." "[Soft laughter]" "I'm fucking 45." "Shh." "[Glass shattering]" "Oh." "[Broken glass clinking]" "Hey." "Hey." "Anything wrong?" "Nothing." "So this really sucks, but, um..." "Helen and the kids will probably be home in a few hours." "Yeah." "Hey, what time's your train?" "Half hour." "Come here." "I want to show you something." "[Keys rattling]" "So this is it." "What do you think?" "That's the closet over there." "Well, what do you think?" "It's, uh..." "[Laughs]" "It's... it's tiny." "Well, yeah, sure." "But it's just you, right?" "Is it?" "Well, for a little while, right?" "Your friend told me you just split up from your husband." "I'm sorry." "That's rough." "My wife left a couple of years ago, and it's hell." "So..." "So how long is the lease?" "Management wants two years." " Two years?" " It's not pretty, but in this neighborhood at this price, it'll go quick." "[Door slams]" "I thought it would cheer you up." "Cheer me up?" "It's perfect for a writer's office, and then you can stay there whenever you're in the city." " That's a stash pad." " Why do you have to make everything sound so negative?" "Because it is." "That's not some place we could eventually live together." "That's a place you put your mistress so you can fuck her when you want." "Alison, it's a temporary solution to a really complicated situation." "Oh, that's what you're calling this?" "I have four kids!" "I'm their father." "I can't just walk away." "I'm not asking you to." "I've never asked for that." "You're the one who brought it up this morning." "Look, just give me some time, okay?" "I told you when I first met you, I have to move at my own speed." "I want us to be together." "I've been thinking a lot about this." "Now, when Whitney leaves for college next fall..." "Next fall?" "I'll start the conversation with Helen." "That's nine months away." "Which is nothing when you're talking about breaking up your fucking family and ruining your children's lives." "Why don't you just say it?" "You're never gonna leave her." "This was never real." "It's just been a game to you." "Just say it." "Just tell me the truth." "You need some fucking faith, Alison." "Hi." "Where are you going?" "Home, I guess." "Sorry." "He asks everybody that." "Have a nice night." "Merry Christmas." "You too." "[Background chatter]" "Alison Bailey, as I live and breathe." "[Soft music in background]" "Ask me about the tie." "Huh?" "Come on, ask." "Just came from dinner with the investor for my entertainment center." "I'd love to buy you another round to celebrate my inevitable success." "I'm just afraid your neanderthal of a husband is gonna come in and kick my ass again." " Is he here?" " No." "You asked for that." "You going somewhere, Bailey?" "[Chuckles] No." "Are you just coming back?" "Yeah." "Let me guess." "The city." "You're still seeing that guy?" "Did he break your heart?" "[Soft music continues in background]" "♪" "Mike... mike, can we get another round here?" " Thanks." " All right, Oscar." "It's hard to love someone who doesn't love you back, right?" "[Liquid pouring]" "Hey, I tried to blackmail him." "Mm-hmm, for you." "It didn't work, but... you want to fuck me, Oscar?" "What?" "You do, right?" "[Zipping]" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" " You want to fuck me, Oscar?" " What are you doing?" "Come on." " Mmm..." " Mmm." "You're... [Laughs]" "But your... your husband will kill me." " I know." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Mike, give me the check." "[Panting]" "[Moans]" "Oh, god." "Ohh..." "[Distant clattering]" "[Sizzling, scraping]" "Buenos dias, muchacha." "Want some coffee?" "Aspirin." "If you have it." "Hey, I'm making pancakes." "Not hungry." "That's okay." "You want to go for a drive?" "There's a crafts fair in amagansett." "Thinking of getting a real tree this year, spruce the place up a bit." "I have to go home." "Back to your husband?" "Yes." "Man, what does that even mean to you?" "[Chuckles] Eat shit, Oscar." "Well, that's great." "I had so much fun." "I'll fuck you in another 15 years." "I won't be here in 15 years." "No?" "Where you going?" "We're selling the ranch." "Half of Cole's money will be mine." "I'm gonna use that to get as far away from here as possible." "A lot of money in that place, huh?" "Yeah, there's a fortune." "Where's my fucking scarf?" "I did some research a while back at the county clerk's." "Yeah, I was looking for something to use against the Lockharts in order to get my permit." "Cherry's been refinancing for years." "The place is practically underwater." "[Chuckles] That's not true." "Yeah." "If it ever sells, you're not gonna get more than a couple mil." "Divide it between the brothers, after taxes..." "You're not going anywhere." "I don't believe you." "It's public record." "I made copies." "I'm sorry, Bailey." "I don't want to be the one to tell you." "Okay." " I have to go." " Okay." "It's o..." " Wait." " What?" "I don't have a car." " Oh, fuck." " I don't have a fucking car." " I don't..." " Okay." "Okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "You take my truck." "It's okay." "Take my truck." "What's wrong, hon?" "Bad day?" "Yeah, I, uh, I heard something..." "About the ranch." "Yeah?" "From who?" "Oscar." "He... he said it's been refinanced so many times, it's not really yours anymore." "[Chuckles] Well..." "I'd like to know whose it is so they can come over here and fix these cabinets." "He saw the files at the county clerk's." "They're outdated, Alison." "If you want to get them updated, you got to go down there." " You got to do it yourself." " No." "No, they're not." "Okay." "I might be a little behind on my mortgage payments..." "But I've started the process of applying for a commercial loan against the business." "It's gonna keep us solvent until the summer people return." "There's no money left." "When you sell the ranch, the bank could just take everything..." "We're not gonna sell." " What?" " I'm not selling it." "That was a mistake Cole made." "He was upset about his brother, which I understand, but you can't make a sentimental decision like that about something so big." "I'm gonna wait until the commercial loan comes through, and then I'm gonna sit the boys down and I'll tell them the good news." "Don't you understand?" "They all think they're about to be rich." "They've been making plans." "When they find out..." " Whey're not going to find out." " Of course they will." "If you don't tell them, I will." "Okay, you tell Cole your little bit of news, and then..." "I'll tell him about your summer lover." "[Chuckles]" "He already knows." "I told him." "Well, isn't this ironic, you telling me what's good for my kids." "I remember a time when the roles were reversed." "What?" "I told you to take him to the hospital." "Remember, I said, "he doesn't look right." "There's something wrong."" "But you didn't want to do it, because you were a nurse and you knew better." " What are you doing?" " And I didn't push..." "'Cause it was your decision because you're his mother." "I have lived to regret that restraint so deeply." "Don't." "We kept this family together through an unspeakable tragedy." "I took you in this house." "I washed your hair." "I spoon-fed you." "I pulled you back from the brink." "And this is how you repay me?" "You've been lying to us all." "Alison, I have tried so hard for so long to find love in my heart to forgive you, and you just become more and more hateful." "I don't know why I've held my tongue." "I don't know what good it's done." "Your pride cost him his life..." "My grandbaby." "It should've been you." "[Tires screeching]" "[Breathless whimper]" "[Gasping]" "[Gasps] Oh!" "Shit." "Oh, god." "A little girl came in here the other day." "And she had cracked her chin open..." "For the second time roller-skating." "I told her not to worry, that I once knew a little girl who did it four times..." "And she turned out beautiful." "Now, you know the drill." "Keep it dry, apply bacitracin, change the bandage daily." "Let's go have a talk, okay?" "I'd lose my license for saying this, but if there's one thing I've learned from 45 years of practicing..." "Scotch is fine medicine." "You want to tell me what's going on?" "I've been thinking of the night gabriel died." "What happened?" "What do you mean?" "[Sighs]" "Why I don't remember." "It's starting to slip away from me." "I..." "Well, tell me what you do remember." "[Exhales deeply]" "Well, I remember a party on a beach." "I remember a bonfire." "I remember..." "All the kids were in the water, and gabriel was in the water." "Yeah, I thought he... he's gonna be cold when he gets out, so I went to get a blanket from the house." "Cole was watching him." "And by the time I got back, they were pulling him out of the water." "I..." "I knew exactly what to do." "I..." "I pumped his chest." "He..." "He spit out so much water." "And then he... he sat up and he hugged me." "I just..." "Wanted to get him away from there." "Away from everyone else." "Calm him down." "But while I was carrying him back..." "He wet himself." "First time in years." "And I thought about calling you." "I did, but..." "It was your granddaughter's wedding and I didn't want to interrupt you." "And he just..." "He seemed so tired." "He was falling asleep on my shoulder." "And I just..." "I thought..." "He's just had such a long day." "I'll let him sleep." "And then if he is feeling bad the next morning," "I'll take him to the..." "So I gave him a bath and I..." "I put him to bed." "Put him to bed." "I..." "I put him to sleep." "And then..." "Oh, god." " [Sobbing]" " Alison..." " Alison, listen to me." " Why did I put him to sleep?" "This wasn't your fault." "There's no way you could've known." "Ali, just take him to the hospital." "Please, just take him to the hospital." "These cases are so rare, they're impossible to catch." "Just let me take him back to the hospital, please." "All right." "Easy, now." "[Sobbing]" "I'll be better next time." "Please just let me..." "Easy." "[Sobbing]" " Come on, breathe." " I can't." "Breathe." "Just breathe." " [Gasping]" " That's good." "That's good." "Alison, I am gonna keep saying this..." "Until you hear it." "It wasn't your fault." "This is why secondary drowning is so dangerous, especially in young children, because it just looks like they're tired, just like any kid who spent the day at the beach." "There's no way you could've known." "But if I had taken him to the hospital right away..." "If I hadn't let him sleep..." "Would he be alive now?" "I don't know." "Do you believe in heaven, dr." "Henry?" "No, I don't." "So I'll never see him again." "It... it doesn't matter what I believe." "What do you believe, Alison?" "I believe in hell." "[Breathing hard]" "[Gasps] Oh!" "Child's voice:" "Where are you going?" "[Gasps]" "Come back!" "[Panting]" "Where are you going?" "You'll freeze out there!" "[Shivering]" "Thank you." "[Hinges creaking] Hey." "When did you get back?" "This morning." "How's athena?" "I'm going back there for a while." "Why?" "I don't understand, ali." "I thought things were getting better between the two of us." "You have to talk to your mother." "She's got something to tell you about the ranch." "What?" "[Sighs]" "It's worthless." "She's been refinancing it all these years just to pay the mortgage and the operating expenses." "Bullshit." "You can't mortgage away $30 million." "Apparently, you can." "Why are you telling me this?" "Because it's true." "[Exhales]" "Please stay." "I love you..." "But I'll die if I stay any longer." "I don't want to die." "Ali!" "Ali, wait." "Wait." "Wait." "You were right." "About the mortgage." "You were right." "So I'm ready now." "Let's..." "Let's get the fuck out of here." "I don't care where we go." "Whatever you want." "Mr. Solloway, thank you for coming back in." " What's this about?" " Have a seat." "How long is it gonna take, man?" "I've got tickets to the yankees game tonight with my son." "I'll make it quick." "I've got custody of my girls this weekend myself, so..." " Your girls?" " My twins." "I thought you said you had boys." " Did I?" " Are you fucking with me, man?" "I'd like to ask you a few questions about your car." " What?" " The car you drive." "How long have you had it?" "A few years." "What kind of mileage does it get?" "I don't know, pretty good." "Why?" "What would you say the turning radius is?" "I have no idea." "What does it matter?" "Scott Lockhart was hit by a car, right?" "So..." "It matters." "[Heavy breathing]" "What's wrong?" "I want to do something you've never done with anyone else before." "Anything you want." "I'm yours." " What?" " I'm yours." "Say that again." "I'm yours." " Say it again." " I'm yours." " And again." " I'm yours." "I'm yours." "[Both moaning]" "I'm yours." "Where did I find you?" "I found you." "I've never done that before." "No?" "Have you?" "Yeah." "Next time." "I have to go soon." "Do you mind if I take a shower?" "Sure." "It's just there." "[Water running]" "Hey, you ran off with my top." "What?" "Well, my... my jeans were under the bed, but I..." "I can't find it anywhere." " You sure?" " Yeah." "[Sighs]" "It must be in the washing machine." " Is it wet already?" " Yeah." "I have to go." "What am I gonna wear?" "I don't know." "Something of Helen's." "Well, won't she miss it?" "Fuck!" "Is this weird?" "This is kind of weird." "Yeah, it's weird." "It's a beautiful shirt." " Are you freaking out right now?" " A little bit." "Do not freak out." "It's gonna be okay." " How?" " I don't know." "You'll figure it out." "I have faith in you, Noah Solloway." "Here's your shirt." " Sorry about that." " It's okay." "Come on, I'll walk you to the station." "No, it's okay." "I don't want to bump into anyone you know." "When are we gonna see each other again?" "Soon." "I love you." "You know that, don't you?" "Yeah." "I do." "[Door closing]" "Dad?" "We're home!" "I'm just worried she's in for a rude awakening." "It's... it's soft tacos?" " I want hard tacos." " Tough life." "You were right." "It's soft." "She thinks she can get into williams because she's a legacy, but with her grades, we really would've had to donate, like, a library." " Helen..." " Mommy, where's my blue cup?" "Um, did you check the dishwasher?" "And where's Martin?" "He's supposed to be setting the table right now." "He's washing dishes tonight." "Mommy, can I peel the garlic?" "Yes, that would be very helpful." "Thank you." "Have you been using my shampoo?" " What?" " It's okay if you have." "It's just..." "Kind of expensive, and you don't have much hair." "Are you gonna tell me?" " Tell you what?" " About the test." "What test?" "I found it in the garbage." "Yeah, I don't know what test you're talking about." " Helen, don't do this." " Don't do what?" "You're pregnant." "What?" "I found your pregnancy test." " You found a pregnancy test?" " Yes." " In the garbage." " Which garbage?" "The one in the kitchen." "Do you have it?" "Can I see it?" "You found this in our garbage?" "Yes." "Well, Noah, it's not mine." "What?" "It must be Whitney's." "No." "Well, it's certainly not Stacey's." " It's not yours?" " No!" "Jesus christ." "Fuck." "Fuck." "Well, it's a good thing we send her to therapy." "Noah, can you not do that?" "[Whispers] Oh, fuck." "[Knocking]" "Uh-oh." "Honey, we're not angry." " What?" " You just have to talk to us." "I mean, this is not something you can handle on your own." " We're not angry with you." " Stop saying that." " What is that?" " Whitney." "We know you're pregnant." "Yeah, okay." "Whatever." "Okay, let me have that." " No!" "No, no, no!" " Give it to me." "Okay, I am!" "I am." "I'm sorry." "I'm so stupid." "And I'm sorry." "It's okay." "I'm gonna get you through this." "Everything is going to be okay." "I already have it taken care of." "I have an abortion set up for tomorrow." "Who did this to you?" "No one did it to me." "I wasn't raped." "Who's the boy?" "No one." "Who cares?" " I care!" " Shh." "Gi... give us a minute, okay?" "Fine." "[Keys clacking]" "[Door opens]" "I think she's relieved..." "Honestly." "That we know." "I'll take her into Dr. Jaffey's office and she can do the DC there." "How pregnant is she?" "Almost three months." "Three months?" "How did we miss that?" "I don't know." "We have to do better." "I know." "Who's the boy?" "She won't say." " Why not?" " I don't know." "I don't know, there's this senior that's been posting all the time on her Facebook page," "Jack..." "Ming lee." "I think maybe it's him?" " You check her Facebook page?" " Yeah, of course I do." " Do you know the password?" " No." "We're friends." "She was gonna go to planned parenthood." "Alone?" "That's what she says." "I bet he's gonna be there, though." "Which planned parenthood?" "[Sighs] The one on Wall Street." "She's very proud she made an appointment at the best one in the city." "[Sighs]" "Oh, my god." "My baby is pregnant." "Helen..." "This isn't your fault." "I know." "Hi." "Do you have an appointment?" "Uh, no." "My daughter does." "Where is she?" "She's, uh..." "We're meeting here." "I can't remember what time the appointment was." "It's Whitney Solloway." "I can't give you any of that information." "Why don't you send her a text?" "I can't." "I took away her phone." "Can I sit here?" "Hey, uh..." "Hi." " She's 17, you..." " Hey, hey..." " We're friends, okay?" " Fuck you!" " We're talking 17!" " [Overlapping shouting]" " Hey!" " I'm gonna fucking kill you!" " Relax!" " Fuck you!" "Hey!" "You need to calm down!" "[Elevator dings]" "Jesus." "What's going on?" "Can I get a drink?" "[Glass clinking]" "[Liquid pouring]" "Whitney's pregnant." "What?" "Yeah, she's pregnant, my 17-year-old." "By who?" "Alison's brother-in-law." "Who... the girl you're fucking?" "Yeah." "[Laughs]" "Why are you laughing?" "Jesus." "I thought I fucked up my life." " Fuck you." " I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I... [Laughs]" "If you don't stop laughing, I'm gonna kill you." "I believe you." "I..." "I'm trying." "I'm sorry." "I am." "Here." "I apologize." "You in touch with Alison?" "Of course I'm still in touch with her." "I slept with her yesterday." "W-where?" "You don't want to know." "Jesus, Solloway." "What is going on?" "I don't know." "I can't live without her." " Of course you can." " No, I can't." "I'm going fucking crazy." "I want to crawl out of my skin." "I got to tell Helen." " No, you don't." " Yes, I do." "No, you have to calm the fuck down, is what you have to do." "Drink that scotch." "Drink it." "Now, sit down." "[Clears throat]" "[Sighs]" "[Glass clinking]" "Have you talked to your father recently?" "What?" "No." "How's he feeling?" "Who cares?" "I know you mentioned a while back that you were..." "Concerned about him." "Yeah, he has emphysema and he still smokes." "But you haven't called him?" "No, I'll call him on Christmas like I... why are you fucking bringing him up?" "No reason;" "I just know that you usually feel better when you talk to him, don't you?" "Stop." "You're not a shrink." " It's true love?" " Yes." "Then it will last." "What do you mean?" "She'll wait..." "If she loves you." "If she really loves you, she'll give you time to figure it all out, won't she?" "I guess so." "Yeah, she will." "I know she will." "Good, then maybe you can get Whitney off to college... but that's in fucking nine months!" "And then you can revisit it all again next fall." "I love her, max." "I wasn't looking for this." "I tried to get away from it, but I keep coming back to her." "This isn't some mid-life crisis." "I didn't say it was." "But you loved Helen, didn't you?" "And I loved Val." "It doesn't last, buddy." "You're living some schoolboy fantasy." "It's time to grow up." "Women are like the stock market." "You put your money in a high-performing mutual fund and you j..." "leave it alone." "You don't pull it out and invest in some sexy startup." "99% of those companies fail, and you will get fucked." "Leave your money where it is." "Trust me." "I made this mistake." "Leave it alone." "Hey." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Fuck!" "Max!" "Jesus, man." "You all right?" "Fuck, look." "He just jumped off." "Fuck, man." "[Distant sirens wailing]" "He just looked like he was coming out for a smoke." "Next thing I knew, he was falling." "How does somebody just take their own life like that?" "It's not that hard, buddy." "Just..." "Make a choice." "[Horn beeping]" "I got to get home." "Be safe." "Okay." "And then he'll send you home with some vicodin and Valium, which you might not even need." "I'm sure I'll want it." "And then..." "You can rest." "Will I get depressed?" "Maybe." "Did you?" "I did." "Do you know I went to see a psychic when I was pregnant with you?" "And she told me that she could see..." "There had been another baby that wasn't ready to..." "Come into the world." "I can't believe you saw a psychic." "Well, I was young, and I saw several, if you must know." "But she said the spirit of that baby was back..." "Inside you..." "Which is very rare." "But it happens." "What?" "You're a great mother." "Not great enough, sadly." "No." "No, it's my fault." "I've been a bad father." "I haven't..." "Been here..." "With you, with them, the way I should." "I..." "Haven't been paying attention." "It's been a hard time." "Helen..." "I've been lying to you." "And not just you... to myself." "I don't want this life." "Okay..." "I have to leave." "Leave?" "Helen, admit it." "We... we... we don't want the same things anymore." "No." "No." "Everything was fine." "Everything was fine until you did something stupid." "Helen..." "Helen." "You're the mother of my children." "We've lived together for Half our lives." "I'm in love with someone else." "And it may be the biggest mistake of my life, but I..." "I want to be with her." " Now?" " No." "No, I... not while Whitney's like this, but..." "I just..." "I need to start talking about it." "Maybe we could go to dr." "Gunderson and..." "Discuss a separation." "Figure out what's best for the kids." "Okay." "Um..." "I'm gonna need you to..." "Leave." "Okay." "Do you need some time?" "No." "Want to be alone?" "No." "I want you to get the fuck out of my house." "Helen." "Was she here?" "Did you fuck her in this house?" "[Smashing] Get out." "[Smashing] Get out!" "Get out!" "All right." "Get out." " Get out!" "Get out!" " [Objects thudding]" "Fucking bastard!" "Get out of my fucking house!" "[Door slams]" "Hey, it's me." "I did it." "I left Helen." "I'm on the train." "I'll be there in..." "Three hours." "[Melancholy ballad]"