"MAN:" "I was Flint's first mate that voyage." "Three days east of Tortola in the Caribee." "Flint knew an island." "That's where we buried the treasure." "Gold and blood were Flint's trademarks." "He'd leave both behind him that day." "♪ Shiver my timbers, shiver my soul ♪" "♪ Yo ho, heave ho ♪" "♪ There are men whose hearts ♪ ♪ are as black as coal ♪" "♪ Yo ho, heave ho ♪" "♪ And they sailed their ship ♪ ♪ 'cross the ocean blue ♪" "♪ A bloodthirsty captain ♪ ♪ and a cutthroat crew ♪" "♪ It's as dark a tale as was ever told ♪" "♪ Of the lust for treasure ♪ ♪ and the love of gold ♪" "♪ Shiver my timbers, shiver my sides ♪" "♪ Yo ho, heave ho ♪" "♪ There are hungers as strong ♪ ♪ as the wind and tides ♪" "♪ Yo ho, heave ho ♪" "♪ And those buccaneers ♪ ♪ drowned their sins in rum ♪" "♪ The devil himself ♪ ♪ would have to call them scum ♪" "♪ Every man aboard ♪ ♪ would have killed his mate ♪" "♪ For a bag of guineas ♪ ♪ or a piece of eight ♪" "♪ A piece of eight ♪" "♪ A piece of eight ♪" "Five, six, seven, eight." "♪ Hulla wacka, ulla wacka, ♪ ♪ something not right ♪" "♪ Many wicked, icky things ♪ ♪ gonna happen tonight ♪" "♪ Hulla wacka, moola wacka, ♪ ♪ sailor man, beware ♪" "♪ When de money in de ground, ♪ ♪ there'.s murder in de air ♪" "♪ Murder in the air ♪" "♪ One more time now ♪" "♪ Shiver my timbers, shiver my bones ♪" "♪ Yo ho, heave ho ♪" "♪ There are secrets that sleep ♪ ♪ with old Davy Jones ♪" "♪ Yo ho, heave ho ♪" "♪ When the mainsail's set ♪ ♪ and the anchor's weighed ♪" "♪ There's no turning back ♪ ♪ from any course that's laid ♪" "♪ And when greed and villainy ♪ ♪ sail the sea ♪" "♪ You can bet your boots ♪ ♪ there'll be treachery ♪" "(LAUGHTER)" "♪ Shiver my timbers, shiver my sails ♪" "♪ Dead men tell no tales ♪" "MAN: oh, aye." "15 men went ashore that day, and only Flint, his own self, returned." "Oh, aye, and then old Flinty up and died" "Afore they could get back to that cursed island and dig up the treasure." "No one knows to this day who has old Flint's map." "ALL:" "Isn't that a story worth the hearing?" "It was the first dozen times." "I'll drink to that." "But who has the map now, huh?" "Some black-hearted, squid-sucking buccaneer?" "Or maybe it's our very own Jim Hawkins." "Eh, Jimmy?" "If I had it, my friends and I wouldn't be here." "We'd be searching for that treasure, sailing the seven seas on a five-year mission, boldly going where no man has gone before." "That's catchy." "Not me." "If I had that treasure map, I'd trade it for a decent meal." "Think he'll eat this?" "Aye!" "Beware the one-legged man." "He's the one to fear." "We'll watch for him." "Yeah." "I'll watch for him, if he's delivering a pizza." "Even old Flinty feared him." "If he comes round here, run for me quick." "If we see him we'll tell you." "One leg, three heads, couple dozen noses... lt'll be nay joking matter, hose nose." "The one-legged man brings death." "Time, gentlemen!" "It's closing time." "You pays your bills then shove off." "Out you go." "(COW GROANS)" "Drunk again, are you?" "(MOOS)" "Look at the state of this place." "How comes it gets to be such a pigsty?" "Pigsty?" "Hey!" "No offense meant, gentlemen." "Here's to you, boys." "I'm away to my room." "RIZZO:" "Thank you, Bill." "Come back tomorrow for our lunchtime special, roast suckling..." "Huh?" "...potatoes." "PIG:" "Oh." "All right." "No offense, madam." "(GRUNTS)" "(GROWLS)" "Boys, when you're finished here, clean up in the kitchen." "I left some table scraps for your supper." "Oh, yes." "And, boys... last night you forgot to put out the lantern." "Forget again and there'll be no table scraps for a week." "GONZO:" "You're standing on my ear." "Easy." "Easy, Rizzo." "RIZZO:" "Whoa!" "That's it." "Steady." "I hate my life." "I hate your life too." "If I had a life, I'd hate it." "I should run off to sea like my father." "He was my age when he sailed to China." "He wound up a first mate." "Run off to sea and leave everybody?" "I'm an orphan." "I have no family." "You got us." "Yeah." "We're family." "Got it." "ALL:" "Whoa!" "Ow!" "Some family we are." "We don't exactly look alike." "So I'm a rat and you're a human being and Gonzo's a..." "Whatever." "We're still family." "But I wish my life were more like one of Captain Bones' adventures." "Searching for buried treasure." "Discovering lost islands and weird civilizations." "Navigating with my father's old compass." "Off to Zanzibar to meet the Zanzibarbarians." "Here they go again." "To the southwest, pirate galleons." "To the southeast, multi-armed Zanzibanian shark-women and their exploding wigs." "WOMAN:" "To the northwest, dirty dishes." "How does she do that?" "Might as well start." "I'll wash." "RIZZO:" "I'll dry." "GONZO:" "I'll break." "♪ I look around here and I want to cry ♪" "Me too." "♪ I feel like the world is passing me by ♪ ♪ It is. ♪" "♪ And I just can't help but wonder ♪" "♪ Am I doomed to wash and dry?" "♪" "♪ And is it a curse I'm under ♪" "♪ To do it till I die?" "♪" "I hope not." "Yeah." "♪ When I could be an explorer ♪" "♪ Sailing off to distant lands ♪ ♪ Not so fast. ♪" "♪ Instead of spending every afternoon ♪ ♪ just getting dishpan hands ♪" "♪ My future looks like nowhere ♪ ♪ that I want to be ♪" "♪ There's gotta be something better ♪" "♪ Something better ♪" "♪ There's gotta be ♪ ♪ something better than this for me ♪" "Now you're talking." "♪ If it's weird and wild ♪ ♪ let's go and find it ♪" "♪ The crazier the better is what I say ♪" "That's true." "♪ To tell the truth, ♪ ♪ I really wouldn't mind it ♪" "Mind what?" "♪ If we found some place ♪ ♪ with ten square meals a day ♪" "♪ Let danger call my name ♪" "♪ If it does I'm gonna hide ♪" "♪ I'll put my courage to the test ♪" "♪ And I'll be by your side ♪ ♪ He'll be by your side ♪" "♪ There's gotta be ♪ ♪ something better than this ♪" "♪ Something more than this ♪" "♪ I know that there's ♪ ♪ so much out there to see ♪" "♪ And I know this life I'm living ♪" "♪ Can't be my destiny ♪" "♪ There's gotta be something better ♪" "♪ Something better ♪" "♪ There's gotta be ♪ ♪ something better than this for me ♪" "And me!" "Wait." "What about me?" "♪ There's something better than this ♪" "♪ For you and me ♪" "Enough of this singing!" "Rum!" "I need rum, lads!" "I've got the horrors!" "Give me rum!" "Rum till I float!" "All right." "Just one small one." "(WOMAN UPSTAIRS) Don't give him any more rum!" "How does she bloody do that?" "(BOTTLES CLINK) Shh." "(TAPPING)" "(KNOCKING)" "(CACKLES)" "(FRENCH ACCENT) Billy Bones, it's me, Blind Pew." "I know you're here, Billy." "Ah!" "You sniveling coward." "He's some kind of a blind fiend." "They prefer "visually challenged fiend." I heard that." "There's someone here." "No?" "Over here!" "(GRUNTS)" "Over here." "(MOOING) (CACKLING)" "Billy Bones." "I'd know that scurvy mug of yours anywhere." "Sir, the bar is closed." "Ah!" "Ho-ho!" "Aha!" "A pretty little girl, is it?" "Yes, take me to Billy Bones, my pet." "There's no Billy Bones here and I'm not a girl." "I may be visually challenged, but I can see you're lying." "Huh?" "(MARTIAL ARTS CRY)" "Good evening, Bill." "I know it's you." "You thought you could get away with it, didn't you?" "Just take it all for yourself and leave your shipmates with nothing." "We're not pleased with that." "Not at all." "We want you to have this." "(CACKLES)" "Oh!" "Argh!" "Who-ho-ho!" "(LAUGHS)" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "(CAT MEOWS) Watch where you're going, stupid cat!" "The black spot!" "(SCREAMS)" "What is the black spot?" "It's a pirate's death sentence." "Fabulous." "They'll be coming to kill me." "Tonight." "We better help." "It's my old sea chest they are after." "Underwear." "I'll trick them." "I'll shake out another reef and daddie them again." "Run that by us again in English." "It's mine." "I'm going for that treasure." "No one-legged son of a bilge rat will..." "Argh!" "Will ever..." "Argh!" "Captain Bones!" "He died?" "And this is supposed to be a kids' movie." "Jimmy Jim, Jimmy Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim!" "You always been decent to Billy Bones." "I'm not Jimmy Jim, Jimmy Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim." "He's Jimmy Jim, Jimmy Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim." "Jim?" "Yes, Captain?" "Jim Jimmy, Jimmy Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim?" "What is it?" "Take the map." "What map?" "The map to old Flint's treasure." "I was Flinty's first mate." "We all were, Blind Pew and me." "Me old shipmates will gully me, and anybody else, to get that map." "Gullying hurts, right?" "Oh, aye." "A lot." "Go to my sea chest." "Get the map." "Oh!" "Oh, yeah." "GONZO:" "There." "RIZZO:" "I think I..." "No." "Hey, guys, look!" "Rizzo!" "Here." "Look at this." "No." "Hey, Rizzo, look." "It is a treasure map." "We're gonna be rich." "RIZZO:" "We're gonna be dead." "Beware, lads." "The one-legged man?" "Aye." "But also beware running with scissors or any pointy objects." "It's fun till somebody loses an... (SCREAMS)" "Captain?" "(GULP)" "We are standing in a room with a dead guy!" "(ALL SCREAM)" "Jim!" "(PIRATES GROWL)" "Oh, Billy Bones!" "Trick or treat?" "(CACKLING) (ALL SCREAM)" "Don't try to hide." "You know what we want." "(BOTH SCREAM)" "Where are you, Billy Bones?" "Where are you, Billy?" "Mrs. Bluveridge!" "There's no use in hiding!" "(GROWLS)" "Can't a woman get her beauty sleep anymore?" "Jim, what are you doing?" "Aha!" "Aha!" "Voilà." "(CLOCK CHIMES)" "RIZZO:" "I've found the gun." "We gotta load it." "RIZZO:" "Oops." "Go." "(RIZZO SNEEZES)" "GONZO:" "Where are the bullets?" "Billy's dead and he hasn't got the map." "Agh!" "Those little girls must have it." "Yeah." "Get them!" "Yeah!" "Gonzo!" "I found the bullets, see?" "Here they are." "Oops." "Open up in there." "We want the map and we'll skewer anybody who gets in the way." "Quick, Jim." "The back stairs." "Come on!" "Run!" "Run!" "Get out of my inn, you tattooed miseries." "Can't a woman get a night's sleep alone?" "You come here." "This gun is useless." "You lost all the bullets." "You're losing the powder." "The map." "Tell us where it is or die." "Argh!" "DOG PIRATE:" "Get them!" "RIZZO:" "Run!" "(SCREAMS)" "PIRATE:" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Argh!" "GONZO:" "Keep moving!" "Hurry!" "GONZO:" "Out of the way!" "Stop!" "Oh, woof." "Ow!" "(EXPLOSION) GONZO:" "Argh!" "Geronimo!" "Guys!" "What an exit." "Right through a wall." "I'm in such pain." "Come on!" "I think I smell something burning, no?" "GONZO:" "What are we gonna do?" "We can't go home, so..." "Ooh." "Oh, no." "Uh-uh." "You're not taking me on some crazy treasure hunt." "I am staying here." "Good idea." "Then you can see what half-burned pirates look like." "What are we waiting for?" "What about Mrs. Bluveridge?" "MRS. BLUVERIDGE:" "Argh!" "I'll be fine." "Run for it!" "ALL:" "How does she do that?" "MRS. BLUVERIDGE:" "Who'll clean this up?" "Two for a penny, sir." "Lovely hot baked potatoes." "(YAWNS)" "Oh, what a night." "There it is!" "Huh?" "Oh." ""Trelawney and Son Master Ship Builders."" "Reality check, guys." "Will some bozo give us a ship because we show him Captain Bones' map?" "It's worth a try, Rizzo." "I don't know." "May I help you?" "Yes." "Thank you." "We wish to speak with Squire Trelawney." "We need a ship." "Sorry." "The squire's in Long Neddry for the grouse season." "He will return on the Feast of St. Lulu." "Thank you." "Of course, his rich half-wit son, young Squire Trelawney's here." "We'll see him, then." "Gentlemen, this is definitely a genuine, bona fide treasure map." "Oh!" "Really?" "Oh, yes." "Mr. Bimbo told me so." "Mr. Bimbo lives in my finger." "He's very smart." "He's been to the moon." "Thank you." "Twice." "I smell a bozo." "Mm-hm." "(BANG) (SQUEAL)" "(LAUGHTER)" "(COUGHING)" "Well done, Beakie." "(MEEPING)" "Now we know that is too much gunpowder." "(MEEPS)" "Beaker, stop fooling around." "We've got company." "Everyone, this is Dr. Livesey and his assistant, Beaker." "They do research and development." "Hello." "Mee-oh." "We hoped to meet with your father." "We need a ship for an ocean voyage." "Ocean?" "Ocean?" "Ocean?" "You know, the ocean - the big, blue, wet thing." "Oh!" "The big, blue, wet thing." "Yes!" "I know what's happening." "You are planning to sail to this island to dig up this treasure." "Yes, but there are pirates looking for this map." "And they want to kill us for it." "Isn't that exciting?" "Pirates, eh?" "Well, that settles it." "We'll use one of my daddy's boats and I will finance the voyage myself." "You'll do that?" "Certainly." "What are rich half-wit sons for?" "Here's the dock." "We're on a dock?" "No wonder I'm seasick." "TRELAWNEY:" "Ahoy!" "Morning, Squire." "Welcome." "Ah!" "There she is, the Hispaniola." "ALL:" "Ah!" "GONZO:" "Wow!" "Whoo-hoo!" "GONZO:" "Come on, let's go." "RIZZO:" "Let's go!" ""Take a cruise," you said." ""See the world," you said." "Now here we are stuck on the front of this stupid ship." "It could be worse." "We could be stuck in the audience." "(THEY LAUGH)" "Mr. Bimbo, the ship is provisioned, the crew is in place, and the captain should be on board within the hour." "You have been busy." "Yuch!" "Look there goes Jim." "Yeah." "Look it's the boat-steering thing." "This is called the helm." "Hey, how does it feel, Captain Hawkins?" "It feels like we're really doing it." "Like we're finally having an adventure." "I'm starving." "Where's the kitchen?" "(GROANS)" "MAN: ♪ Heigh ho, and up she rises ♪ Something smells good." "GONZO:" "Cool." "MAN: ♪ Heigh ho, and up she rises ♪" "♪ Early in the mornin' ♪" "♪ Put him in the longboat ♪ ♪ until he's sober ♪" "♪ Put him in the longboat ♪ ♪ till he's sober ♪" "♪ Put him in the longboat ♪ ♪ till he's sober ♪" "♪ Early in the mornin' ♪ (CLEARS THROAT)" "What have we here?" "Stowaways." "I'm afraid we shish-kebab and barbecue stowaways on this ship." "(WHIMPERS)" "(LAUGHTER)" "I know, you must be the cabin boys." "Yeah." "Hungry, lads?" "In my galley you're always welcome to help yourselves." "Yes!" "Thank you!" "Whooo!" "Yahoo!" "(LAUGHS)" "Oh, yes!" "He's got a healthy appetite." "How about you?" "Huh?" "Here." "Hey, thank you." "My name is Gonzo." "He's Rizzo." "(EATS NOISILY) Yo!" "You must be Master Hawkins." "Yes, sir." "You needn't call a lowly ship's cook "sir."" "Long John Silver, at your humble service." "We're just cabin boys, Mr. Silver." "Long John to his friends." "And believe me, a friend you can trust is worth his weight in gold." "There's many a dark-hearted scoundrel in these ports." "What do you mean?" "Pirates?" "Shh!" "Pirates?" "That's rich." "What an imagination." "Give me a cracker." "Allow me to introduce my pet lobster, Polly." "Pieces of eight!" "(SQUAWKS)" "I raised him from a fingerling." "As fine a crustacean as a man could ask for." "I thought sailors had talking parrots." "Talking parrots?" "What an imagination." "First pirates, now talking parrots." "What's next?" "A singing, dancing mouse with his own amusement park?" "That's enough, Polly." "Shoo!" "Argh!" "(CRASH)" "I'm gonna give you a cook's tour of this fine ship." "If you're gonna be the cook on this ship, I am gonna need bigger pants." "(LAUGHS)" "What's the matter, lads?" "Oh, that?" "Lost that timber fighting brigands off Madagascar under Admiral Hawke." "There's many a man lost a leg and worse in the service of the king." "Why, look what a cannibal took off me in exchange for me own life." "You're a fine pair of lads." "Bright as buttons." "(BELL RINGS)" "MAN:" "All hands on deck!" "Come on." "Chop-chop." "Look lively." "The captain will be here soon." "Chop-chop." "Who's that?" "Mr. Arrow, the first mate." "A capital fellow." "(FANFARE)" "The captain approaches." "Move aside." "Make ready for the captain!" "Lallygaggers will suffer his wrath." "Is this captain bad-tempered?" "ls he bad-tempered?" "The man is a raging volcano." "Tormented by inner demons mortals cannot fathom." "He's got demons?" "Cool." "Maniac!" "Heigh ho, everyone." "That's the raging volcano?" "He's a frog!" "Maybe he gets hopping mad." "Hopping mad!" "(LAUGHTER)" "(WHISTLE)" "Piping aboard Captain Abraham Smollett." "Good day, Mr. Arrow." "I knew it." "He's furious." "You there." "Me?" "You were in charge of railing dust." "30 lashes, then walk the plank." "I didn't say that." "I was anticipating your whim." "Hm." "You must be the cabin boys." "Yes, sir." "Which one of you is Hawkins?" "I am." "I knew your father." "He was a good man." "Thank you, sir." "Well..." "This is shaping up to be a fine voyage, lads." "Oh, yes, indeed." "(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)" "One leg, Jim." "One." "Remember what Billy Bones said." "Gonzo, he seems all right." "Long John's only a cook." "How dangerous could he be?" "I don't know, but I..." "Where's Rizzo?" "Enjoy your cruise, sir." "Next!" "Have your checks made out to Rat Tours Limited." "Remember, we put the "rat" in "pirate."" "Thank you, Mr. Plagueman." "Next!" "What are you doing?" "What?" "I figure if the treasure map's a dud, the trip won't be a total loss, financially speaking." "The wind seems to be freshening." "The tide is with us." "Mr. Arrow, this voyage has begun." "This voyage has begun." "Raise the gangplank." "Let go forward line." "Let go aft line." "Hard to starboard." "Any man caught dawdling will be shot." "I didn't say that." "I was paraphrasing." "Mr. Arrow, just set the sails." "Set the sails!" "MAN RAT:" "I'll miss you!" "I said I'll miss you!" "WOMAN RAT:" "Goodbye!" "MAN RAT:" "Goodbye!" "♪ When the course is laid ♪ ♪ and the anchor's weighed ♪" "♪ A sailor's blood begins racing ♪" "♪ With our hearts unbound ♪ ♪ and our flag unfurled ♪" "♪ We're under way ♪ ♪ and off to see the world ♪" "♪ Under way and off to see the world ♪" "♪ Heigh ho, we'll go ♪" "♪ Anywhere the wind is blowing ♪" "♪ Manly men are we ♪" "♪ Sailing for adventure ♪ ♪ on the deep blue sea ♪" "Safely, now." "Let's not get sloppy just because we're singing." "♪ Danger walks the deck, ♪ ♪ we say, "What the heck?" ♪" "♪ We laugh at the perils we're facing ♪" "♪ Every storm we ride is its own reward ♪ ♪ And people die by falling overboard ♪" "♪ People die by falling overboard ♪" "♪ Heigh ho, we'll go ♪" "♪ Anywhere the wind is blowing ♪" "♪ Hoist the sails and sing ♪" "♪ Sailing for adventure ♪ ♪ on the big, blue, wet thing ♪" "♪ I love to see 'em cry ♪ ♪ when they walk the plank ♪" "♪ I prefer to cut a throat ♪" "♪ I love to hang 'em high and watch ♪ ♪ their little feet try to walk in the air ♪" "♪ While their faces turn blue ♪ ♪ Just kidding. ♪" "♪ It's a good life on a boat ♪" "♪ There are distant lands ♪ ♪ with burning sands ♪" "♪ That call across the oceans ♪" "♪ There are bingo games ♪ ♪ every fun-filled day ♪" "♪ And Margaritas at the midnight buffet ♪" "♪ Margaritas at the midnight buffet ♪" "♪ Heigh ho, we'll go ♪" "♪ Anywhere the wind is blowing ♪" "♪ Should have took a train ♪" "♪ Sailing for adventure ♪ ♪ on the bounding main ♪" "♪ The salty breezes whisper ♪" "♪ Who knows what lies ahead?" "♪" "♪ I just know I was born to lead ♪" "♪ The life my father led ♪" "♪ The stars will be our compass ♪" "♪ Wherever we may roam ♪" "♪ And our mates will always be ♪" "♪ Just like a family ♪" "♪ And though we may put into port ♪" "♪ The sea is always home ♪" "Mr. Bimbo, I didn't know you had such a good voice." "You're welcome." "♪ We'll chase our dreams ♪ ♪ standing on our own ♪" "♪ Over the horizon ♪ ♪ to the great unknown ♪" "♪ Heigh ho, we'll go ♪" "♪ Anywhere the wind is blowing ♪" "♪ Bold and brave and free ♪" "♪ Sailing for adventure ♪ ♪ lt's so nauseating ♪" "♪ Sailing for adventure ♪ ♪ So exhilarating ♪" "♪ Sailing for adventure ♪ ♪ We're all celebrating ♪" "♪ On the deep blue sea ♪" "GONZO:" "Whoo-hoo!" "RIZZO:" "Ahoy!" "(WHISTLE)" "Roll call." "Long John Silver?" "Aye aye, sir!" "Short Stack Stevens?" "Aye." "One-Eyed Jack?" "Aye." "Black-Eyed Pea?" "Here." "Walleyed Pike?" "Aye." "Polly Lobster?" "(SQUAWKS)" "Mad Monty?" "Aye." "Sweetums?" "Aye." "Old Tom?" "Aye aye." "Real Old Tom?" "Aye." "Dead Tom?" "Aye aye." "(WHIMPERS) Cool." "Clueless Morgan?" "Huh?" "Headless Bill?" "Headless Bill?" "Big Fat Ugly Bug-face Baby-eating O'Brien?" "(GRUFFLY) Aye." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Angel Marie?" "Aye aye." "Hm." "Hm, hm." "Uh, uh..." "Gentlemen, may I see you in my cabin immediately?" "Mm-hm." "Who hired this crew?" "This is the seediest bunch of cutthroats I have ever seen!" "So, who hired 'em?" "Your finger hired the crew?" "No, that's silly." "The man who lives in my finger hired the crew." "Mr. Bimbo." "What?" "Ah!" "He relied on the advice of our cook, Long John Silver." "(GROANS)" "A cook and a guy who lives in a bear's finger?" "Exactly." "(THEY SIGH)" "I'm worrying about this voyage." "Jim, Bones gave you the map, but I hope you'll give it to me for safekeeping." "I'LL BE CAREFUL WITH IT." "(KNOCK AT DOOR)" "Begging your pardon, but I've come with a treat for you." "'Tis my very own best brandy, laid down by the brothers of Buckfast Abbey, vintage 1737, to toast to a prosperous voyage." "Oh, spiffy." "I'm sorry, but I won't allow drinking on this voyage." "Rules are rules." "But 'tis a tradition for the officers to toast to the success of a voyage." "Very true." "We must set an example for this crew." "There will be no alcohol." "Sir, but I can vouch for this crew myself." "You could sail to heaven and back with them." "I'm afraid I disagree with you." "Oh." "WOMAN:" "Argh!" "Knock it off with the booze." "It's peeling the paint off of the shuffleboard court." "Come on, girls." "This conversation is finished." "I understand, sir." "I shall tend to my duty and see to it that every drop of alcohol is thrown overboard." "Come on, Jim." "Don't bother Captain." "You can go if you want to, Jim." "Come on." "Yeah." "Well, the human beings want to hang out together." "Don't want to be with a rat and a..." "Whatever." "Yeah." "Huh." "(BAND PLAYS WALTZ)" "Say cheese." "Cheese!" "Oh, that's great." "Cute couple." "FEMALE RAT:" "Stop it!" "(KISSING)" "MALE RAT:" "I never felt like this before." "Denise, what I'm trying to say..." "Yes?" "What I mean to say is I..." "Yes?" "I'm sorry your present didn't work out." "Oh, Jim." "Smollett sails by rules and laws." "That's what a captain does." "Me, I sails by the stars." "Stars?" "North, Jim." "Find me north out there among them stars." "Well, that's easy." "But what if you don't have a compass?" "Don't drop it." "It was my father's." "It's all I have of his." "Please." "I'm sorry, lad." "I were only foolin'." "How old were you when he died?" "Seven." "I were eight when my father died at sea." "First mate, he was." "My father was a first mate too." "Was he, now?" "By the powers, what a coincidence." "Now, Jim." "That be Polaris." "The North Star." "Even in the China Sea, that's north." "North." "Polaris." "So we must be heading southwest." "Smart as paint you are, lad." "Smart as paint." "Now, that gets old Long John to wondering'." "Why would we be sailing southwest?" "The scuttlebutt among the crew is that we're sailing for buried treasure, and, uh... someone on board has a map." "'Course, it's none of my concern." "I'm just a ship's cook." "Such matters are best suited to Captain Smollett." "He runs this ship." "You could captain this ship." "That I could, lad." "Maybe someday I will." "(LONG JOHN LAUGHS)" "Moonlight swim?" "OK." "WOMAN:" "Smolly, my love for you is deeper than the deep blue sea." "(LAUGHTER)" "Get on with you." "Go on." "GONZO:" "Hi, Jim." "Hello." "Hi, Long John." "Fellas, good morning." "At least one of us is having a good time." "It's not so bad." "Angel Marie said that he'd throw a line out the back and let me drag along the bottom." "I don't know about this crew." "I feel like they're waiting to pounce." "That's just your imagination." "(CLUELESS CACKLES) (RIZZO SCREAMS)" "This is a figment of my imagination?" "Whoa." "Tell us where the map is, or we'll tear you limb from limb!" "My friend and I will never tell." "RIZZO:" "There could be extenuating circumstances." "I mean..." "Maybe they'll ask nice." "In your dreams." "Do it, Monty." "Yeah!" "Do it to me." "Whoa!" "Oh!" "Yes!" "No." "I can't look." "Look at this!" "I'm taller!" "This is so cool." "I may even have a future with the NBA!" "This won't work." "He likes it." "Let's torture the rat." "Huh?" "No!" "No, no, no, no, no, no!" "Oh, no, no!" "Yes!" "No!" "No." "Please, no!" "I hate basketball." "I got a lovely recipe for blackened rat." "(SCREAMS)" "I say, this does not look safe." "(SIZZLING)" "(SQUEALS)" "What?" "What?" "I burnt my hand." "Kiss it or something." "(GONZO LAUGHS)" "Oh!" "Poodly, poodly, poodly, poodly!" "Mr. Arrow, lock them up for the remainder of the voyage." "Yes, sir." "You can't hold us." "Stop crying." "Move along." "Move along." "Master Hawkins, may I see you in my cabin?" "Yes, sir." "Ready, Mr. Gonzo?" "Ready." "Tie off the rope, Beaker." "We call this the window shade cure." "Right." "Snip, snip, snip." "Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!" "Oh, great!" "Wow!" "Argh!" "Whoo!" "Whoo-hoo!" "That was so cool!" "Hm?" "Oh, sure." "(MEEPING)" "(GONZO LAUGHS)" "Who's the lady pig?" "Never mind." "Listen." "I'm hoping you'll give me the map now." "I'd rather not, sir." "(SIGHS)" "I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but, as captain, I order you to give me the map." "Mr. Arrow." "Aye aye, Captain." "Lock up this treasure map." "Mm." "It will be safe in here." "It's been six weeks since we left England." "Five days since we had a breeze." "(GROANS)" "No." "I've got the madness." "I got cabin fever!" "I've got it too!" "BOTH:" "Cabin fever!" "♪ I've got cabin fever, ♪ ♪ it's burning in my brain ♪" "♪ I've got the cabin fever, ♪ ♪ it's driving me insane ♪" "♪ We got cabin fever, ♪ ♪ we're flipping our bandanas ♪" "♪ Been stuck at sea so long ♪ ♪ that we have simply gone bananas ♪" "♪ Chica chica boom boom, ♪ ♪ chica chica boom boom, chic ♪" "♪ Chica chica boom boom, ♪ ♪ chica chica boom boom, chic ♪" "♪ We... we... we got cabin fever, ♪ ♪ we lost what sense we had ♪" "♪ We got cabin fever, ♪ ♪ we're all going mad ♪" "♪ Grab your partner by the ears, ♪ ♪ lash him to the wheel ♪" "♪ Do-si-do, step on his toe, ♪ ♪ listen to him squeal ♪" "♪ Allemande left, allemande right, ♪ ♪ it's time to sail or sink ♪" "♪ Swing your partner over the side, ♪ ♪ drop him in the drink ♪" "♪ We've got cabin fever ♪ ♪ No ifs, ands or buts ♪" "♪ We're disoriented ♪ ♪ And demented ♪" "♪ And a little nuts ♪" "♪ Ach, do liebe Volkswagen car ♪" "♪ Sauerbraten, Wiener Schnitzel ♪ ♪ und wunderbar ♪" "♪ We were sailing, sailing, ♪ ♪ the wind was on our side ♪" "♪ Und then it died ♪" "♪ I've got cabin fever, ♪ ♪ I think I lost my grip ♪" "♪ I'd like to get my hands ♪ ♪ on whoever wrote this script ♪" "♪ I ♪" "♪ Was floating neath the tropic moon ♪" "♪ And dreaming of a blue lagoon ♪" "♪ Now I'm as crazy as a loon ♪ (LAUGHS)" "♪ Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard ♪" "♪ This once proud vessel ♪ ♪ has become a floating psycho ward ♪" "♪ We were sailing, sailing, ♪ ♪ heading who knows where ♪" "♪ And now though we're all here ♪" "♪ We're not all there ♪" "GONZO:" "Arriba!" "♪ Cabin fever ♪" "MAN:" "The wind is back!" "TRELAWNEY:" "What have we done?" "LIVESEY:" "I feel like such a fool." "TRELAWNEY:" "Me too." "Embarrassing." "Get us out of here!" "Help!" "Let us out." "We was only joking." "Long John, get us out of here." "Yeah!" "Hey, Polly." "What?" "What was that song that just happened?" "What?" "You know, "Cabin fever."" "That." "You see, John." "You gotta get us out of here now." "Clueless is going crackers." "Here, your bread and water for today." "But I ordered shrimp scampi." "It's more than you deserve, you villainous dogs!" "Oh, Jim." "I should be locked up too, for letting thieves like them aboard this ship." "It chills me to think that they almost killed your little friends looking for some daft treasure map." "This would not have happened if I'd given Captain Smollett the..." "I mean..." "What, lad?" "I should not talk about this with you." "You mean you've really got a treasure map?" "Not anymore." "Mr. Arrow locked it up in the captain's cabin." "You must promise to keep it a secret." "Don't worry." "You only told old Long John." "You run along and do your chores." "Go on." "Go on." "(LAUGHS)" "Safely, now." "Safely." "(IMITATES FOGHORN)" "Steady as she goes." "Oh, Mr. Silver." "Good evening." "Wicked fog tonight." "Mm." "Reminds me of the night we ran aground off the pampas." "Half the crew drowned in leaky lifeboats." "It were a terrible shame." "Leaky lifeboats?" "Common occurrence." "A little-used piece of equipment falls into disrepair and becomes..." "Unsafe?" "Oh." "I'm not saying our lifeboats are unsafe." "I'm not saying we got problems." "Still..." "Hm." "Hm." "The caulking appears tight." "No dampness under the gunwale." "This one seems seaworthy." "Well, they do, until you get them out in the open ocean." "Cast me off." "Yes, sir." "Sir." "Hm?" "Is there anything I can hold for you, for safekeeping?" "Your hat, your coat, um... your keys?" "My keys." "Of course." "If they fell overboard, it would be disastrous." "Oh, that it would, sir." "Cast me off, Mr. Silver." "Aye aye, sir." "Thank you, Mr. Silver." "Just doing my duty, sir." "Oh, yes, John." "MAN:" "Man overboard!" "Yes?" "Oh." "I'm sorry, sir." "Mr. Arrow has gone overboard and all we found was his hat." "(SOBS) Oh, no." "So the sea has claimed another loyal officer and friend." "This was a person..." "I got it." "After you, Monty." "After you." "Will you just come on?" "Mr. Samuel Arrow, who used to get us up before dawn for a good flossing." "OK." "Spread out and find the map." "May the wind be ever at your back, Samuel Arrow." "Rest in peace, my friend." "Amen." "Amen." "(LAUGHS) Shh." "(CACKLES) See?" "See?" "Open it." "We gotta take it to Long John." "Come on." "Oh." "(GONZO SPITS) This apple has a worm in it." "RIZZO:" "That's my tail." "(GONZO SIGHS) RIZZO:" "WHAT'S WRONG?" "It just feels so weird." "That Mr. Arrow's dead?" "That." "And my pants are filled with starfish." "You and your hobbies." "Rizzo!" "BOTH:" "Argh!" "We've missed you." "Climb in." "I'm doing my chores." "Come on." "Share an apple." "Come on." "Here's the plan." "We should kill that captain now." "POLLY:" "Then we'll get that bear." "CLUELESS:" "Can we make a rug out of him?" "Oh, hi, Long John." "I'm a easy man." "A gentleman of fortune, says most." "But it makes me sick to sail with the likes of you." "Now, get this straight." "If anyone mutinies before I says so," "I'll throw you overboard like I did Mr. Arrow." "I says let the captain steer us closer to the island." "I have the treasure map." "When the time is ripe, well kill 'em all." "POLLY:" "That's what I said." "MONTY:" "We'll kill them all!" "MAN:" "Land ho!" "Come on, lads." "Let's go!" "POLLY:" "Land ho!" "My goodness." "(RIZZO WHIMPERS)" "STATLER:" "Land ho!" "Beachfront properties!" "Retirement estates!" "Bikinis!" "Throw the mainsail!" "Drop anchor!" "Hard of starboard." "Prepare to lower the longboats." "MAN:" "Bring those barrels over here." "Give a hand with the longboats." "MAN:" "Bring those barrels over here." "Give a hand with the longboats." "I must speak with you." "I'm busy." "But Long John is planning a mutiny." "And he's got the map." "I see." "Mr. Silver." "Aye aye, Captain." "Take the crew ashore." "We need water and provisions." "Take as long as you want." "Captain!" "Sir!" "'Tis a task to my liking, that it is." "Gather the officers and meet me in my quarters." "Quickly." "This is lucky, Captain letting us go ashore." "Us with the map. lt's like giving the treasure to us on a silver platter." "Aye, that it is, Polly." "Never trust a silver platter." "Beaker, come on." "Jim, lad." "There's room in the boat for one more." "Come along." "The captain wants me." "What a shame." "I'll miss you, lad, that I will." "Uh..." "Jim, I seem to have left my crutch on board." "Hand it to me like a good lad." "There's a good boy." "Have to be closer than that." "I can't reach it." "Hold tight." "JIM:" "Whoa!" "Cast away, men." "Quick." "POLLY:" "Go, go, go!" "The plan is simple." "Once the pirates are ashore, we sail and return in a year." "By then the fight should be out of them." "That's a brilliant plan." "Except for one thing." "What?" "The pirates have Jim!" "WOMAN:" "What?" "MAN:" "I'm tired." "What?" "I'm getting tired." "WOMAN:" "He says go faster." "I'm getting tired." "(BAND PLAYS)" "I can't figure out what side we're on." "Are we with the pirates or the frog captain?" "Just play the gig." "Never get involved in politics." "Politics!" "Politics!" "(BAND CONTINUES PLAYING)" "SILVER:" "Jim, lad." "(LAUGHTER)" "Easy, Jim." "'Tis all in good fun." "Pleased I am to initiate you into our enterprising, um, company." "Which entities you to all the benefits." "What if I don't want them?" "This is a one-time special offer." "Say no and I will be forced to terminate our relationship." "You're nothing but murdering pirates." "Pirates?" "Pirates." "Oh, Jim." "If that's what you're thinking, you're dead wrong." "♪ When I was just a lad ♪ ♪ looking for my true vocation ♪" "♪ My father said, "Now, son, ♪ ♪ this choice deserves deliberation" ♪" "♪ "Though you could be a doctor, ♪ ♪ or perhaps a financier" ♪" "♪ "My boy, why not consider ♪ ♪ a more challenging career?" ♪" "♪ "Heigh ho ho, ♪ ♪ you'll cruise the foreign shores" ♪" "♪ "And you'll keep your mind and body ♪ ♪ sound by working out of doors" ♪" "♪ True friendship and adventure ♪ ♪ are what we can't live without ♪" "♪ And when you're a professional pirate ♪ ♪ That's what the job's about ♪" "Upstage, lads!" "This is my only number." "♪ Now, take Sir Francis Drake ♪" "♪ The Spanish all despise him ♪" "♪ But to the British he's a hero ♪" "♪ And they idolize him ♪" "♪ It's how you look at buccaneers ♪ ♪ that makes them bad or good ♪" "♪ And I see us as members ♪ ♪ of a noble brotherhood ♪" "♪ Heigh ho ho, we're honorable men ♪ ♪ Oh, I love it. ♪" "♪ And before we lose our tempers, ♪ ♪ we will always count to ten ♪" "♪ On occasion, there may be someone ♪ ♪ you have to execute ♪" "♪ But when you're a professional pirate ♪" "♪ You don't have to wear a suit ♪" "What?" "♪ I could have been a surgeon, ♪ ♪ I like taking things apart ♪" "♪ I could have been a lawyer, ♪ ♪ but I just had too much heart ♪" "♪ I could have been in politics ♪" "♪ 'Cause I've always been a big spender ♪" "(AS MARLON BRANDO) ♪ And me, I could have been a contender ♪" "♪ Some say that pirates steal ♪ ♪ and should be feared and hated ♪" "♪ I say we're victims of bad press ♪" "♪ It's all exaggerated ♪" "♪ We'd never stab you in the back ♪" "♪ We'd never lie or cheat ♪" "♪ We're just about the nicest guys ♪ ♪ you'd ever want to meet ♪" "Well, look at us, Jim!" "We're a festival of conviviality." "Congeniality." "Conviviality." "That's what I said." "We're ready, el capitan." "Good." "Guard the ship." "We'll be back when we get Jim." "Aye aye, Captain." "Cast off, Mr. Beaker." "Thanks for coming along." "Are you kidding?" "Jim is family." "Yeah." "Tell the truth, lad." "Do you really think the captain and the squire will share the treasure with us?" "Can't hear you." "No?" "And we being the rightful owners." "Flint's own crew, who shed our blood getting it here." "Join us." "Donate your compass to the treasure hunt and get a full share." "♪ Heigh ho ho, ♪ ♪ it's one for all for one ♪" "♪ And we'll share and share alike with ♪ ♪ you and love you like a son ♪" "♪ We're gentlemen of fortune ♪ ♪ and that's what we're proud to be ♪" "♪ And when you're a professional pirate ♪" "♪ You'll be honest, brave and free ♪ ♪ The soul of decency ♪" "♪ You'll be loyal and fair ♪ ♪ and on the square and most importantly ♪" "♪ When you're a professional pirate ♪" "♪ You're always in the best of company ♪" "(CANNON)" "Down!" "There!" "Captain Smollett coming to rescue me." "Don't get your hopes up." "I've hidden a few of my best men aboard." "If a second round follows, it means they've taken over the Hispaniola and I'm the new captain." "Now, then." "(CANNON) (CHEERING)" "(BEAKER MEEPS)" "How infortuitous our firearms weren't loaded." "I'll say." "We might have shot somebody." "(JIM GASPS)" "I'm the only friend you've got now." "Let's dig up the treasure together." "Shipmates?" "Remember?" "We'll need your compass, though." "No." "I'll take it either way." "Come on, lad." "Let's not waste time." "It's too dark to do anything." "We'll camp and wait for first light." "(RIZZO WHIMPERS)" "Hey, Rizzo, relax." "Don't be so afraid." "I've gone way beyond afraid." "I'm somewhere between bedwetting and a near-death experience." "SMOLLETT:" "Good night." "Good night." "Night, Rizzo." "RIZZO:" "Yeah." "Sure." "(RIZZO TREMBLES) (SNORTING)" "RIZZO:" "Gonzo?" "ls that you, Gonzo?" "(GROWLING)" "RIZZO:" "It sounds like you're coming down with a cold." "I'm gonna light a match, if you don't mind." "(SCREAMING)" "Long John, look." "Flint hung 'em up there after he gullied 'em to mark the trail to the treasure." "Wicked sense of humor Flinty had." "This is a cursed place." "PIRATE:" "Yeah." "There's an informed opinion." "Jim, lad, where to from here?" ""On a heading of 179 degrees, walk 312 paces from where the dead men hang high."" "That way!" "You're gonna go?" "Howdy, vous stinky froggy man and friends." "I am Spa'am, high priest of the boars." "You mucho wickedness go trespass on island?" "Now you suffer the wrath of our queen, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal." "Terrific." "Captured by wild pigs and sacrificed hideously." "Are we lucky or what?" "Silence, smelly sailor mans." "You have violated sacred island." "Excuse me." "I am Captain Smollett." "We mean no harm and embrace all creatures of different nationalities." "Silence!" "(THEY GASP)" "Bring forth Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal." "That can't be good." "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal..." "These tropical floor shows are so exotic." "And the food is to die for." "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal, Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal," "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal." "(ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)" "(CHANTING CONTINUES)" "Sha-Kal-a-Kal-a-Kal." "Bonsoir, mes amis. (LAUGHS)" "Come, Flaubert." "Argh!" "(FALLS DOWN STEPS)" "(SCREAMS)" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Flaubert!" "Get away, you stupid anteater." "You spoiled my entrance." "BOARS:" "Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal..." "Knock it off!" "Oh, greetings." "Moi am Benjamina Gunn, maroonee, temptress and queen of this... (GASPS)" "Smolly, can it be you?" "Benjamina." "Hii-yah!" "(SMOLLETT SCREAMS)" "(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)" "Old girlfriend." "Tie 'em back on their stakes." "306, 307, 308, 309, 310, 311," "312." "SILVER:" "This is it." "What if Clueless is right?" "What if it is cursed?" "I'll show you what I think of your curse, you mewling little lily-livered, toffee-hearted little wuss of a crustacean." "JIM: "Treasure buried here."" "We don't even have to dig it up." "Come on, the treasure's ours." "There's no treasure." "You brought us here for nothing." "Now we'll be tried for mutiny." "ALL:" "Yeah!" "I say we should kill him!" "Run!" "Save yourself." "Why are you doing this for me?" "Because I like you." "I hope you didn't think I was lying about that." "Run!" "Take greeny, flippy, bulgy-eyed one away." "SMOLLETT:" "What?" "Others stay." "Chop-chop." "Where are you taking him?" "(SINGS IN MOCK SWEDISH)" "First, take the mousie, then skewer the mousie." "(LAUGHS)" "How else could we get him in this movie?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "(SPEAKS IN MOCK SWEDISH)" "I wish we were back eating table scraps." "We're about to become table scraps." "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me..." "Wait, I've been cut loose." "Hiya." "(BOTH SCREAM)" "They've got Captain Smollett." "We've gotta get help." "Where will we go?" "(SOBBING)" "Tom, Tom, Tom." "Oh." "Dead Tom's dead." "Long John shot him." "(SOBS)" "But Dead Tom's always been dead." "That's why he's called Dead Tom." "Oh." "Can we get on with this?" "Get out of here." "Clueless!" "Yes?" "Give it to him!" "PIRATE:" "Yeah!" "But it's not even his birthday." "No, no, no, no." "The paper." "Oh. (CHUCKLES)" "This is for you." "The black spot." "Yeah." "You dare to give me the black spot?" "He told me to." "Shut up." "And it's drawn on a page from the Bible." "You tore a page from the Holy Scriptures to make a pirate's death sentence." "Here..." "Oh!" "The red hot gates of hell are creeping open." "Satan is heating' his pokers for you, you blasphemous heathens." "Fall down on your knees and beg for deliverance from damnation." "Please forgive us!" "Forgive me." "Very good." "You're forgiven." "ALL:" "Thank you." "Now, untie me." "Let's go find the treasure!" "ALL:" "Yeah!" "You are a good man." "You are a kind man." "A handsome man." "Precious." "You're precious and..." "Beautiful." "And he's beautiful." "GONZO:" "Here's the boat." "Oh, no." "That won't help." "We'll have to swim to the ship." "Hello?" "Earth to Jimbo." "Swimming to a ship full of killer pirates to save the captain is not a good plan." "Look." "MAN:" "The gunwale and keel are safe." "Mr. Arrow!" "It's Jim!" "RIZZO:" "Over here!" "Mr. Arrow, over here!" "Oh, boys." "Come join me aboard this exceptionally safe little boat." "That Silver fellow may not be trustworthy." "Now he tells us." "Yeah." "Here's a photo opportunity." "The jungle location for the movie Muppet Treasure Island." "Keep up." "My feet are killing me." "Of all the backwater, no-class piles of sand in the ocean, you had to wash up on mine." "I want you to know that I'm sorry." "Sorry?" "No." "Sorry doesn't cut it." "You left me standing at the altar!" "I was on a ship headed for Zanzibar." "I got cold feet." "You're a frog." "You're supposed to have cold feet." "My mother came from France." "I was wearing her white lace dress." "The cake was filled with lemon custard!" "Fate has brought us together again." "(WHIMPERS)" "Actually, treasure and pirates..." "Don't start about pirates." "After you jilted me, I took up with Bernie Flint." "He was totally codependent." "You and Captain Flint?" "Well, he was a pirate, I was a lady." "You know the story." "Smolly, he marooned me." "Me-e-e-e-e!" "(SOBS) Oh, oh, oh." "This is all my fault." "What have I done to you?" "Mushy, mushy." "Lovey-dovey!" "(PIRATES SNICKER)" "Bravo, Captain." "Touching reunion, Benjamina." "This seems to be your day for renewing old... acquaintances." "Oh, hello, Long John." "Oh, no." "Him too?" "If you'd married me." "What?" "I'm a pig." "I need commitment." "You knew that about me..." "I'm not gonna be patient about this, Benjamina." "Where is the treasure?" "Um, I just may not tell you." "Hm." "Don't play games with me, lass." "I'm not a patient man." "Stop!" "Give up now, weak and tiny pirate mans, or die like stinking dogs." "(BOARS SHOUT AND GRUNT)" "Hm." "We see you have boom-boom sticks." "Bye-bye." "BENJAMINA:" "Oh, brother." "Now, Benjamina." "What?" "Where's the treasure?" "There is no treasure." "It was all a clever ruse." "Ha!" "So, where did you get that gold necklace?" "The one made of Spanish doubloons." "Um..." "Shopping channel?" "No!" "Shh." "Shh." "Oh, fiddle." "Make yourself useful." "Try and save us." "Do something!" "Shh!" "Master Hawkins, you've come to rescue us." "I should've let him live in my finger." "We're ready." "Do you think this will work?" "Yes." "Pirates are very superstitious." "Bogy, bogy, bogy." "I am the ghost of Samuel Arrow." "Bogy!" "JIM:" "We've got to save the captain." "GONZO:" "That was fantastic, Mr. Arrow." "What do we do now?" "Jim?" "Weigh anchor?" "Weigh anchor!" "Set the sails." "Set the sails!" "And you, Squire Trelawney..." "Now, I..." "You take the helm." "Ah!" "Step aside, Mr. Bimbo." "I shall take the helm." "Hurry, Rizzo!" "I'm going as fast as I can." "Smolly, my love!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Smolly!" "(SNIFFS)" "You can't hurt my frog!" "Don't tell him anything." "He'll only kill you too." "Don't listen to him!" "Now." "For the last time." "Where's the bloody treasure?" "ALL:" "Yeah!" "Stop!" "Stop, stop, stop, stop!" "The treasure's at my place." "North Trail, split-level hut." "Free him at once, you scoundrel." "(SPITS) (PIRATES LAUGH)" "I'm beginning to see a pattern in the men I date." "Well, the past is behind us." "And the future... below us." "(WHIMPERS AND SNIFFS) lt's OK." "We're together again." "Yes." "Despite it all, we have each other." "Don't cry for me, Benjamina." "Pardon?" "♪ Was I dumb ♪" "♪ Or was I blind?" "♪" "♪ Or did my heartjust lose its mind?" "♪" "♪ Why'd I go ♪" "♪ And throw our perfect dream away?" "♪" "♪ Looking back ♪" "♪ I'll never know ♪" "♪ How I ever let you go ♪" "♪ But destiny could see we deserved ♪" "♪ To have another day ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ Right back to where we belong ♪" "♪ We followed a star and here we are ♪" "♪ Now heaven seems so near ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ Now, I know that ♪ ♪ life can take you by surprise ♪" "♪ And sweep you off your feet ♪" "♪ Did this happen to us ♪" "♪ Or are we just dreaming?" "♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ Right back to where we belong ♪" "♪ We followed a star and here we are ♪" "♪ Now heaven seems so near ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ So take my hand ♪" "♪ And have no fear ♪" "♪ We'll be all right ♪" "♪ Love led us ♪" "♪ Here ♪" "(SNAP) (THEY SCREAM)" "Oh, Smolly!" "You saved me!" "Come on, men!" "It's back to Blighty now." "POLLY:" "The treasure is ours!" "Long John, Long John." "Look the ship." "PIRATE:" "What are they doing?" "PIRATE 2:" "There's no one on board." "It's coming for us." "It's the ghost of Captain Flinty." "He's coming to kill us." "(ALL SCREAM)" "Come back, you cowards!" "Hawkins." "Look - it's the captain and the pig." "Oh, no!" "Head for those cliffs." "Head for the cliffs!" "Aye aye!" "Beakie, look!" "I think we're going to need a net." "Come along!" "Get back, you yellow-bellied bilge rats!" "I'm not losing that treasure now." "Get out!" "We're lowering the net now." "Let's go." "That's it." "Beautiful." "We're coming, Captain Smollett." "(BENJAMINA WHIMPERS)" "Steady!" "Careful!" "Au revoir, mon capitaine." "We've got 'em!" "Whoo-hoo-hoo!" "Yes!" "(SCREAMING)" "Oh!" "Oh, no!" "Waldorf, you old fool, we're heroes!" "We saved the pig and the frog!" "It was too late to save the movie." "(THEY LAUGH)" "Welcome aboard, Captain." "And welcome to your lady pig friend." "Look out!" "Argh!" "The captain must have his sword." "RIZZO:" "Whoa!" "GONZO:" "Wow!" "(JIM YELLS)" "Captain!" "Fight, you idiots!" "Captain!" "Here!" "Ha!" "Hii-yah!" "All right." "No more Ms. Nice Guy." "No one maroons me and gets away with it." "Hii-hii-hii-hii-yah!" "It's good to see you alive." "Thank you." "Geronimo!" "What am I gonna do?" "Come on!" "Come on, you!" "Sorry." "En garde!" "Mi casa es su casa." "I'll make cheese out of you." "(MARTIAL ARTS CRY)" "Cucaracha!" "Ha!" "Come on, Jerry." "He's just a kid." "OK." "OK, OK." "OK, I give." "Uncle." "Uh..." "I'm dead." "(GROWLING)" "Mr. Bimbo, help!" "(GRUNTING)" "(BEAKER MEEPS)" "(CANNON) TRELAWNEY:" "Am I dead?" "LIVESEY:" "Wonderful!" "Mr. Bimbo, that was some amazing swordplay!" "Watch out, Mr. Arrow." "Aren't you supposed to be fighting against us?" "Are you kiddin'?" "I love you guys." "BOTH:" "Hm." "(LAUGHS)" "Cowabunga!" "Ow!" "Come on!" "Fight!" "Where are you?" "Hm." "And as for you..." "Oh. (WHIMPERS)" "Silver!" "Mm-hm." "Ha!" "Ha!" "Ha!" "Pick on somebody your own size." "Ha!" "Ha-ha-ha-ha!" "Yeah!" "Yes!" "Smolly!" "Yes!" "BENJAMINA:" "Yes!" "Ha-ha, Silver!" "(HUMS)" "Ha-ha!" "Ho-ho!" "Not bad for an amphibian." "♪ Smolly, Smolly, he's our man!" "♪ ♪ If he can't do it, no one can!" "♪" "(THEY CHEER)" "Excuse me." "Pardon?" "Ooh!" "(GASPS)" "Oh!" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "I'm a frog, you know, slippery hands?" "I never believed that violence solved anything." "Really?" "Allow me to disagree, Captain." "Kill him and you'll have to kill me." "Kill Jim and you'll have to kill me." "Kill Gonzo and you'll have to kill me." "Kill Squire Trelawney and Mr. Bimbo and you'll have to... negotiate strenuously." "Going somewhere, John-John?" "(BOARS GRUNT)" "Well, Mr. Hawkins." "It seems your little family has come together against me." "(RIZZO LAUGHS)" "We're doomed." "Yeah." "Well, I, for one, feel better about myself." "Yeah, and I believe that I have learned a valuable lesson." "Shut up!" "(THUD)" "Silver!" "I suppose you'll be blowing the whistle on me." "Suppose I will." "You have to return to Bristol to stand trial." "I'm sorry." "I got a terrible fear of hanging." "We're shipmates, aren't we?" "Gentlemen of fortune together." "Give us one more chance?" "Oh, hell, Jim." "I could never harm you." "You're honest and brave and true." "You didn't learn that from me." "I learnt it from my friends." "Take your oars and row away." "I never want to see you again, ever." "Oh, Jim!" "'Tis a shame, really." "We'd have made a great team, Jim." "Well done." "Your father would be proud." "Captain, I have distressing news." "One of the jolly boats is missing, and I know that it was terribly unsafe." "(LAUGHTER) Argh!" "Argh!" "This is not fun." "Flaubert, meet Da-da." "Ready to sail, sir." "Where to, Captain Hawkins?" "To wherever the wind may take us!" "Off to Zanzibar, to meet the Zanzibarbarians." "Oh, brother." "Here they go again." "(LAUGHTER)" "(STEEL BAND PLAYS "SAILING FORADVENTURE")" "♪ ( "LOVE POWER" ♪ ♪ BY ZIGGY MARLEY AND THE MELODY MAKERS) ♪" "♪ Love power ♪" "♪ Love power ♪" "♪ Love power ♪" "♪ A little love power ♪" "♪ Stronger than the hurricane ♪" "♪ And softer than the summer rain ♪" "♪ Love power ♪ ♪ What kind ofpower?" "♪" "♪ A little love power ♪ ♪ It can lift you up ♪" "♪ Lift you up when you get low ♪" "♪ And make yourlife ♪ ♪ bright as the rainbow ♪" "♪ Whoa ♪" "♪ There ain't no sun in the morning sky ♪" "♪ Whoa oh oh oh-oh ♪" "♪ Breeze ain't blowing ♪ ♪ and the bird don't fly ♪" "♪ Whoa oh oh oh-oh ♪" "♪ Then someone kind reaches out a hand ♪" "♪ And smiles a warm sweet smile ♪" "♪ And then your heart ♪ ♪ come to understand ♪" "♪ What make the world spin, ♪ ♪ where the magic begin ♪" "♪ Someone to believe in ♪ ♪ Feel so good when everybody feel ♪" "♪ Love power ♪ ♪ There's no higher power ♪" "♪ A little love power ♪ ♪ Nothing in the world ♪" "♪ Stronger than the hurricane ♪" "♪ And softer than the summer rain ♪" "♪ Love power ♪ ♪ Everybody feel it ♪" "♪ A little love power ♪" "♪ It lift you up when you get low ♪" "♪ And make yourlife ♪ ♪ bright as the rainbow ♪" "♪ Whoa ♪" "♪ So many people they feel so bad ♪" "♪ Whoa oh oh oh-oh ♪" "♪ Yeah, they make the money, ♪ ♪ but they still so sad ♪" "♪ Whoa oh oh oh-oh ♪" "♪ Nobody told them that ♪ ♪ it ain't that stuff ♪" "♪ That makes life worthwhile ♪" "♪ 'Cause even ifyou've got enough ♪" "♪ You got less than nothing ♪ ♪ till you know for certain ♪" "♪ Enough to put your faith in ♪ ♪ It feels so good when everyone feel ♪" "♪ Love power ♪ ♪ People, can you feel it?" "♪" "♪ A little love power ♪" "♪ It lift you up when you get low ♪" "♪ And make yourlife ♪ ♪ bright as the rainbow ♪" "♪ Let me tell you now ♪" "♪ Whoa ♪" "♪ Feel the inspiration ♪" "♪ Hey ♪" "♪ Don't it feel like heaven?" "♪" "♪ It make the soul ♪ ♪ and the spirit strong ♪" "♪ When everybody come and every ♪ ♪ single one, they hear the song, now ♪" "♪ Oh, love power ♪" "♪ A little love power ♪" "♪ Stronger than the hurricane ♪" "♪ And softer than the summer rain ♪ ♪ Can you feel it?" "♪" "♪ Oh ♪" "♪ Love power ♪ ♪ What kind ofpower?" "♪" "♪ A little love power ♪ ♪ It can lift you up ♪" "♪ It lift you up when you get low ♪" "♪ And make yourlife ♪ ♪ bright as the rainbow ♪" "♪ It lift you up when you get low ♪" "So, Johnny." "May I call you Johnny?" "Stop me if you heard this one." "Why does the ocean roar?" "Give up?" "You would too if you had crabs on your bottom and oysters in your bed." "(LAUGHS)" "Get it?" "Oysters?" "Bed?" "Ooh, I love that one." "I'm telling you, I got a million more just like that." "♪ ( "LOVE LED US HERE" ♪ ♪ BY JOHN BERRY AND HELEN DARLING) ♪" "♪ Was I dumb ♪" "♪ Or was I blind?" "♪" "♪ Or did my heartjust lose its mind?" "♪" "♪ Why'd I go ♪" "♪ And throw our perfect dream away?" "♪" "♪ Oh, looking back ♪" "♪ I'll never know ♪" "♪ How I ever let you go ♪" "♪ But destiny could see we deserved ♪" "♪ To have another day ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ Right back to where we belong ♪" "♪ We followed a star and here we are ♪" "♪ Now heaven seems so near ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ I confess ♪" "♪ It's sad but true ♪ ♪ Sad but true ♪" "♪ I lost myself when I lost you ♪" "♪ But I held your memory ♪" "♪ Through each lonely night ♪" "♪ Oh, let's forget ♪" "♪ What's gone before ♪ ♪ What's gone ♪" "♪ Now we both know so much more ♪ ♪ So much more ♪" "♪ And we've been given another chance ♪" "♪ To make it work out right ♪ ♪ Make it work ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ Right back to where we belong ♪" "♪ We followed a star and here we are ♪" "♪ Now heaven seems so near ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ Now, I know that ♪ ♪ life can take you by surprise ♪" "♪ And sweep you offyour feet ♪" "♪ Did this happen to us ♪" "♪ Or are we just dreaming?" "♪" "♪ Dreaming?" "♪" "♪ We followed a star and here we are ♪" "♪ Now heaven seems so near ♪" "♪ Love led us here ♪" "♪ So take my hand ♪" "♪ And have no fear ♪" "♪ We'll be all right ♪" "♪ Love led us ♪" "♪ Here ♪"