"What's all the mystery, Sammy?" "I just need to talk to you in private." "All right, fine." "We're alone, give it up." "No, in the car where no one can hear us." "You know what?" "If this is about your weird little man crush on me, don't worry about it." "We all know." " Get in." " All right, fine." "Okay." "Oh, dude, it's freezing in here." "What the hell, man?" "Hear that sound?" "That's my nipples crystallizing into diamonds on my chest." " Hi, Sock." " What?" "Oh God!" "Oh, Sam!" "Get down!" "Sam, get down!" "It's okay." "It's okay." "Calm down." "Calm down." "Ta-da." "Mr. O?" "What the hell, Sam?" "Your dad's alive?" "Well, sort of." "What do you mean sort of?" "Well, technically speaking, I'm not dead." "But I'm just not so much alive either." "What?" "Why?" "Well, I made that deal with the Devil so I wouldn't die, and now I kind of can't." "That's why we had to keep the air cold." " Right." " It's to keep Dad fresh." "Frigid." "Yeah, okay." "Mr. Oliver, I'm really glad that you're alive and everything, but I just about had a heart attack and I think I might still be having one." "Sam, why the hell would you ever do that to me?" "Because I knew you'd want to be here." "Why?" "What for?" "When Ben's shift ends." "Oh." "Oh my God, this is brilliant." "Okay, good." "Hey, get down." "Go go." "Get down, get down." "Remember to say bla-la-la-la this time, all right?" "Okay." "Hola, Benjamin." "Let's go for a ride, man." "No thanks." "Today was a really stressful day." "I was at the returns counter and people were yelling at me." "I just want to go home, slip into a warm bath and just forget today ever happened." "All right, well, we were gonna hit Anderson's Ice Cream Shop, get a little snow blast with extra Oreo crumble." " But whatever." "Another time." " No big deal." "Actually, that sounds really really relaxing too." "All right, I'm in." "Let's do it." "Hey, Ben." "How old is this?" "Shh shh." "Look." "Listen." "Listen to the hotness." "You know, Kristen is actually a pretty cool person and fun to be around." "If you'd stop sexualizing your sister all the time" " you might realize that." " You know what?" "It's like you're talking." "I can hear the stupid words falling out of your mouth but they hold no meaning." " Take me and Nina." " Nope." "We're friends but we have our sexual side." "But then we keep it in a box and take it out when we need it." "We enjoy it, we play with it." "Then we put it back in the box when we're all done." "There is no box that can contain this sexuality, Ben." "All right?" "It's uncontainable." "It's how I was born." "In fact, the delivery room doctor said I was the sexiest baby she'd ever seen." " So..." " Fine, your loss then." "Whoa." "These things are great." "Bumper cars with deadly sharp blades." " Will you stop that?" " All right, grumpy." "Here's the vessel for your next soul." "Tracy Reed." "Thought she was a vampire when she was alive." "Seriously, she was a vampire?" "You do know that vampires don't really exist, don't you, Sam?" "She was just a murderer who liked to drink people's blood." "Oh, looking sharp, Buffy." "Looking sharp." "All right, anything else?" "Hey, you're being extra snotty today, aren't you?" "This couldn't have something to do with a certain reappearance of a decaying, frankly gross, father figure, could it?" "You can joke all you want, but I feel kind of bad for him." "You feel bad?" "Why should you feel anything for that guy?" "Don't you recall he's the architect of your situation here?" "He sold your soul." " And you feel bad?" " Sort of." "Then I feel I have to impart some fatherly advice to you, ironic as that may seem." "Don't let people walk all over you, buddy." "Screw that guy." "He had no problem screwing you." "This is it." "The vampire soul lives here." "You had to wear the squeaky ones." "They look good with these pants, what am I gonna do?" " They do." " It's not subtle." "It's like you're announcing to the evil souls that we're here is all I'm saying." "You know what, Sam?" "I risk my neck for you on a daily basis." "If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die looking tasty in a fashionable ensemble." "Principles... get some." "Oh, it's so emo in here." "I love it." "Hello?" "You can't have it." "You're not taking it from me." "We're not here to rob you." "Yeah, we're just here to send you back to hell." "I'll kill you." "You can't touch it." "Ah!" "There's a vampire on me!" "There's a vampire!" "Oh!" "All right, yes." "That wasn't too bad actually." "Totally." "A baby rattle." "Yeah, and there's a carriage." ""Pregnancy, Birth and Baby."" "That's a baby, right?" "Yeah, that's a baby." "We've got a baby." " Next." " Hey there, Gladycakes." " Place the vessel..." " Way ahead of you." "Um, we were wondering what to do with this." "Uh, the soul in the vessel, it's hers." "Oh, an IBOH." "What's an IBOH?" "Intentional birth out of hell." "It happens." "Souls have been known to escape from hell to have their children here." "Better schools." "Oh, okay great." "So this has happened before then." "Yeah, we were wondering if there was like a procedure in place that can handle these circumstances." "Yeah, there is." "Have fun raising it." "No no no." "We can't raise a baby." "Any idiot can raise a baby, which makes you more than qualified." "No no no, what if this one's evil, Gladys?" "Its mom had fangs." "Nobody's gonna want to breastfeed a fang baby." "Yeah." "I think you're okay." "Yeah, it's probably just a regular baby." "Uh uh, probably?" "Yeah, but if you're worried I can stuff it down the return chute if you want." "I'm a little worried, yeah." "Why don't you just ask your little girlfriend for some help?" "She dates you, she must know a lot about babies." "She happens to have an important job that she's busy with right now, unlike you and your stupid stupidness." "Yeah." "Next." "Yup." "There is an envelope for you up at the front... you took down all my motivational posters." "Guess you want your employees to only soar to regular heights." " Envelope, Ted." " Yes you may." "Thank you." "Aw, that's sweet." "Sam taking you out on the town?" "Uh, yeah." "Um, we're a little stressed lately." "Stressed?" "Maybe it's not Sam." "Maybe it's the job." "You know what they say." "This job makes a man go insane, especially if that man is a woman." " Get out, Ted." " Thank you, boss." "You know, I don't think we're gonna learn anything about taking care of a baby from "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid."" "No, just wait until the kid's on the rampage." "We'll learn plenty, trust me." "What are we gonna do with it?" "Why don't you know, Ben?" "I mean, you know, you're the one who lives with little rabbits and birdies and small creatures." "I mean, this is your wheelhouse, buddy." "Step up." "Yeah, man, come on." "Uh, it's probably hungry." "We need mother's milk." "Oh, well, sorry I'm not lactating right now." "Where do we find someone with fleshy milk dispensers?" "A baby?" "Where did you get a baby?" "A friend." "We're borrowing it from a friend." " Borrowing it." " Looks like a little doll." " Can I hold it?" " Sure." "Hi, little baby." "Oh my God, I'm so jealous of that baby right now." "Wish I was cradled to the bosoms." "Cradled like a baby." "Can I talk to you for a second?" " Huh?" " Excuse us." "Oh." " Did you hear yourself just now?" " What happened?" "You were looking at a little infant nuzzling against your stepsister's breasts and you said you were jealous of it." "I said that out loud?" "Oh my God." "You're sick and you need help." "Benji, I'm dying over here, man." "What do I do?" "How do I make the sexual tension disappear?" "Uh, Nina and I, we play racquetball." "It's a great way to release the aggression." "Sounds like a lot of work." "All right, there's also drugs that people take to lower testosterone and help dull the sex drive." "Isn't that chemical castration?" "You don't need to name it." "You just need a solution to your sick problem." "I hate it when you call me sick like that." " Well, deal with it." " You're right." "Okay, here are my options, right?" " I medicate my boys into submission..." " Mmm-hm." "...or I work out for 15 minutes a day?" "As far as I can see it." "Terrycloth wristbands are for fashion, Benjamin." "Not for exercise." "Chemical castration it is." "Good." "Let's go." "Okay, now do a monkey." "Do a monkey." "More monkey..." "monkier." " Tony?" " Sam, you are here." " Hey, guys, look who it is." " Look who's back in town." "Yeah yeah yeah, I'm back." "I'm back." "You can't live in fear forever." "Plus I came to warn you." "I think they're dispatching some demon assassins to kill you." "Oh, we know." "Ben's dating one of them." "Yeah, we're a power couple." "You... what is that?" "Is that..." "do you..." " Do you guys have a baby?" " Yeah." "Hey, look at you." "Oh, there we go." "It's okay." "There you go." "Yeah, aren't you just a bundle of cuteness?" "Yes you are." "Is it a girl?" "Uh, probably." "I don't know." "We didn't even check." " You haven't changed her diaper?" " Huh?" "For how long?" "Have you burped her?" "Have you fed her?" "Have you cleaned her?" "Guys, this is a precious and delicate little gift." "You can't just treat it like a turtle you got at the Chinese market and forget about it." "Do you want it?" "She's beautiful." "You know, Steve and I were on an adoption waiting list." "Then he passed away and well, just another one of those dreams that I had to let go of." "Well, now's the moment, Tone." "You've got to seize the dream." "Seize it right out of our hands." "Maybe there's a reason I came here today." "Maybe I was meant to come." "Maybe it was fate." "I can't think of a better person to take care of her." "Yeah, you're gonna be a great dad." "Oh, yes." "I'm a daddy." " Congrats, Papa Tony" " All right." "And Stevie." "After Steve, I'm gonna call her Stevie." "Um, I already named her Magnum P.I." "Oh, little Stevie." "Hi, are you open?" " Are you Miss Prendergast?" " Yes." "Your table is right this way." "You came." "That's great." "Yeah." "Um, I came to meet Sam." "Oh, I didn't invite Sam." "No, apparently you didn't invite anyone." "Did you just rent out this whole place for us?" "Yeah yeah." "Kind of my thing, you know?" "This is your thing?" "Date ambush?" "You've got to be kidding me." "Don't go." "Look, you don't have to feel uncomfortable." "I brought you a nicer dress." "You could change, maybe even put your hair up." "Let me just make one thing clear here, okay?" "I am with Sam, period." "Okay." "It's my misunderstanding." "I didn't realize you guys were in for the long haul." "We are." "Not gonna lie, it's pretty bush league on your part." "I mean, I did go though all the effort to set this up." "But, you know, you've got to do what you've got to do." "You're such an ass." "Okay, but if Sam wasn't in the picture you'd stay for dinner, right?" " Not a chance." " Why?" "You're obnoxious, you're arrogant and you're rude." "Oh, and your father is the Devil." "I didn't think that mattered to you." "Really?" "And why would you think that?" "Given your current relationship, why wouldn't I think that?" "What is that supposed to mean?" "Since Sam and I have the same father," "I just figured you'd accepted Satan in your life." "Yeah, you know that Sam is the son of the Devil." "Oh." "Did I just speak out of turn?" "I assumed you knew." "Looks like both of our nights are ruined now." "Sorry." "When's your doctor's appointment?" "Noon today." "Just taking the dog out for one last walk." "That's gross." "It's for the best." "You hear that?" " He's back." " I'll take care of it." "He's gonna do it." "Dad, what are you doing?" "Oh, hey, Sam." "I just thought I'd stop by and set up the badminton net and bang the old shuttlecock around with you." "Yeah, I don't really have time now." "Oh, okay." "Well, maybe tomorrow then." " Yeah, well, I'll try." " Good." "'Cause you know, Sam, I really want to make the effort to spend some more time together." "This being undead, it kind of frees me up from everyday obligations, you know?" "Don't have to work, don't have to eat." "But hey, lots of free time." " Right." " One game, come on." "Dad, I really..." "I have to go to work." "Okay, well, that's too bad." "Maybe next time call ahead." "Call ahead." "Great idea." "I will do that, Sam." "Sam, anything you want to tell me?" "Any little details that might be important for me to understand while I'm dating you?" "I'm... allergic to tree nuts." "Eeeh!" "Any other nuggets of info you want to share?" " Like what?" " Oh, I don't know." "Like maybe Satan is your real father." "I was gonna tell you." "I was planning on telling you." " When?" " Andi, I..." "Who told you?" "Was it Ben?" "No, it was Sock, right?" "What?" "They know?" "Wow, Sam." "Okay, how long were you planning on keeping this from me?" "I was waiting for the right moment to tell you so you wouldn't freak out." " What?" "Get over here." " All right, all right." "Okay, what made you think that you could deceive me like this, huh?" " I should not have kept it secret from you." " No." "Another secret." "I just..." "I thought it would be better to keep you in the dark for a while." "No, Sam." "It's pretty clear why you'd keep this a secret." "I mean, come on, you're the son of the Devil, okay?" "Me being in the dark is better for you." " Because I was afraid of this." " Of what?" "This." "Upsetting you." "Well, too late, I'm upset." "I know, and I didn't want that to happen." "I didn't understand what it all meant." "I still don't." "Oh, I know." "You're fired." "Andi, what?" "Yup, you're fired." "I'm pretty sure you legally can't do that." "Okay, you know what?" "I don't care." "I have to do something." "So then fine, you know what?" "You're on dumpster duty forever." "You know what else?" "That!" "Ow!" "Okay, I deserved that." " Clean that up." " Andi..." "Yes, right away." "On it." "Andi, come on." "Just hear me out." "Hey." "You just can't come bursting into people's offices." "I might have been naked in here." " What are you doing here?" " Just wanted to talk to you." "It seems we're having a small accounting error in purgatory." "So I owe money now?" "No, a soul." "We're missing one." "Not your fault." "Just kind of slipped through the cracks." "Well, tell me who it is so you can get the hell out of here." "Oh, you already know who it is." " The baby." " The baby?" "That soul escaped specifically to have her baby out of hell." "And you know what?" "No one gets out of hell." "Not even offspring." "I'm not sending a little baby to hell." "I can understand your hesitation, but you mustn't allow yourself to be fooled by its pudgy cuteness." "The kid is a bad seed." "It's destined for evil like its mother." "I don't know what to tell you." "We gave it away." "Oh." "That just won't work, Sammy." "I know that this'll be hard for you." "So don't rush." "Just have it back by say, oh, this time tomorrow." "Because if you don't retrieve this kid," "I will." "And it won't be pretty for anybody who gets in my way." "I can't believe you got drugs from a doctor so easily." "Excess testosterone, Benji." "People get intimidated." "It is my gift and my curse." "Oh, also I weaseled some pills out of him to help with your scalp itch." "Oh, thanks, man." "When are you gonna take yours?" "I'm working my way up to it, okay, Ben?" "I just want to hang on to my manhood for a couple more hours." "Is that all right?" "All right, I just got off the phone with Tony." "He's cooking us lunch at his new apartment." "Um, he's not gonna let go of that baby easily." "No no, but lunch is perfect though." "Tony is both a super-sensitive demon and a culinary perfectionist." "All we got to do is bag on his cooking." "He starts bawling, runs down to the market to grab some locally-grown organic garbage." "Once he leaves, boom, vessel the baby." "Bob's your uncle." "Boo!" "Dad, what are you doing here?" "I came for your brains." "I'm just kidding." "Actually, I just thought we could maybe hang out and watch the ballgame." " Now is not a good time." " Oh." "Uh, Sam, could I speak to you for a minute?" "All right, let's make this quick." " What is your problem, Sam?" " We have to be somewhere." "Okay, you know what?" "I've got to say I'm a little disappointed in you." " Why?" " Because I'm getting the sense, Sam," " that you're blowing me off." " What are you talking about?" "You're blowing me off, Sam." "And frankly, you're shirking your family responsibilities." "Dad, it is not my responsibility to babysit you." "Okay?" "What about Mom?" "Get her to let you move back in." "She doesn't want me to, Sam." "She's..." "I'm starting to believe she actually blames me for this." "As if it's my fault that I turned into a zombie." "It kind of is your fault." "Oh, so you're picking sides now?" "Yes." "Yes I am." "All right?" "This is all your doing." "All this happened because of you." "You made a deal with the Devil and then you lied about it." "Sam, I'm your father, so I demand a little respect." "No you're not." "You're not my real father." "What did you say?" "I said you're not my real father." "I suppose the Devil told you that." "Yes, he did." "I'm guessing it's true." "Sam... you know I'm not allowed to say anything about this." "The deal with the Devil forbids me from telling you anything." "Well, there's my answer." "Sam, I..." "I just want you to remember who raised you." "Who was there for you growing up, Sam, every step of the way?" "Who loved you?" "I did." "No matter what anyone tells you," "I love you." "And that's really all that matters, right?" "Sure." "That's all that matters." "Now I've got to go send a baby to hell, so thanks," "Dad." "Whoo!" "Well, I am so glad you guys were able to come out." "It's important for Stevie to be around people that I consider family." "Family's important." "And you also get to hear about the important milestones." "Like guess what happened last night for the first time." " What what what?" " She gurgled." " She gurgled." "That's wonderful." " Isn't it though?" "It's just wonderful." "But don't let my gushing stop you guys." "Please, there's food, mimosas, iced tea." "Whatever you need." "Right?" "Whatever you need." "Huh." "Hmm." "Is the salad okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah yeah, it's good." "It's, uh..." "it's adequate." "Sock, what is wrong with the salad?" "Nothing nothing, Tony." "It's just, you know, I..." "All right, to tell you the truth, I had a salad the other day that was loaded with shiitake mushrooms and it just kind of blew my mind, that's all." "No problem." "I have shiitake in the kitchen." "I'll throw them in there." "You know, I don't even think it's the mushrooms that are the problem." " It's not?" " No, it's, um..." "The tomatoes." "What's wrong with the tomatoes?" "They... they're very ripe." "Oh, that's unacceptable." "I apologize." "Um..." "There's a grocer right around the corner." "He's got fresh ones." "I'll be back in a jiff." " Just keep eating." " Wait, Tony." "You know, we could take care of the baby for you." "Yeah yeah, we could watch the baby." "Why not?" "Okay, yeah." "Okay, sure." "I don't want to be one of those smothering parents." "Okay, I'll be back in a minute." "Okay." "You guys have my cell number if there's a problem, right?" "Absolutely." "Okay." "Okay, tomatoes." "I can't believe that worked." "Well, the tomatoes are a little ripe." "All right, let's shove a spike through this baby's face." " Okay, Sam." "Go on, do it." " Okay." "Sam, come on." "Do it, do it, do it." "Do it." " I-I-I can't do it." " Come on." "It's a little baby." "Look at it with its big eyes and its little fingers." "I can't stick a stake in it." "What if the Devil is tricking me, trying to get me to stab this baby?" "I thought he said it was gonna grow up to be evil, do a bunch of monstrous things like its mom." "It doesn't look anything like a monster." "Then what do we do?" "I don't know." "It's looking at me all cute and stuff." "Cover it up." "Cover up the baby." "Here we go." "There, now you can stab that baby guilt-free." " Go." " That's gonna smother the baby." "Oh, you like that?" "Peekaboo." "Peekaboo." " Peekaboo." " Ben, you're not helping." "Okay, wait wait, I got it." "What if we sing it to sleep?" "That way it won't be looking at me and it'll just make it easier on the both of us." " Yeah yeah, good." " Right?" "Uh..." "As luck would have it my neighbor had a couple of fresh ones." "So..." "What's going on?" "This isn't what it looks like." "Stay away from my daughter!" "Whoa!" "Hi." "What did they do to you?" "Tony, nothing." "Nothing." "Tony." "What is this?" "No, Tony, the Devil told me she has to go back." "That she's a bad seed." "An evil monster." "The Devil is full of lies." "Sam!" "This baby is innocent." "She's not a monster." "Oh God, Benji!" "Tony, the Devil wants her back." "I'll raise her to be good, Sam." "Babies aren't born evil." " Humans make them evil." " You can't stop him." "He'll kill you." "What would you have me do, Sam?" "I'm not just gonna hand her over." "He won't stop coming for you until he gets the baby." "We have to make the Devil not want it." "How do we do that?" "Baptism." "What if we baptize the baby?" "If we get her baptized it washes away Original Sin." " Will that work?" " If she's christened she'll be pure... a blank slate." "The Devil won't have any claim over her," " at least for now." " That just might work." "Yeah, that just might work, baby." "Daddy's gonna get you baptized." "Yeah, he's gonna have you baptized." "Hey, we're all set." "My grandmother called ahead and spoke to Father Ortega." "Now he's willing to do the emergency baptism" " as long as we have parents standing in." " Here comes Mama." "Hey, Andi." "Thank you for doing this." "You don't know how much it means to me." "Yeah, sure, Tony." "Uh, well, there's Father Ortega." "Oh." "Andi, this is little Stevie." "Oh, she's beautiful." "Stevie, this is Andi." "She's gonna be your mama for today along with Papa Sam." "Oh, you're not standing in as the father?" "Oh, I can't." "The whole demon thing." "I can't enter unto consecrated ground." "I'll light up like an oversoaked flambé" "But Sam's half human so he's probably okay." "And I can't imagine a sweeter couple than you and Sam to watch over little Stevie at her christening." " Right?" " Fine." "Let's just get it over with." "Something going on with you and Sam?" "Hmm, son of the Devil." "Oh yeah." "Yeah." "You know, Andi, I was right there with you." "I thought Sam was full of evil just waiting to burst forth." "Heck, I even tried to kill him." "But then Steve appeared to me and he let me know that Sam was worth saving." "I just don't think his fate is tied to the Devil." "Do you know that?" "Well..." "Well, you don't know anything for sure." "The Devil says this baby belongs in hell, but when I look at that angel face," " all I see is the good." " Yeah." "And that's what I see when I look at Sam." "I can't prove that, Andi." "That's something you need to look for in Sam and find for yourself." "Right?" "Why are you staring at me?" "You didn't burst into flames." "Why would I burst into flames?" "Tony said he couldn't walk on consecrated ground without lighting on fire." "I just thought maybe the same for you." "You didn't think to warn me?" "No, I was testing you." "You would've deserved it." "You're probably right." "So are we good?" "I don't know yet." "You know, when I look at you I see the Sam I've known for years, the Sam that I know would be here doing good, trying to save this baby." "But it also really worries me who your father is." "It worries me too." "Look, Andi, I think there's good inside me." "I hope there is." "But, you know, if you ever see anything that doesn't seem right, run for the hills." "Okay, welcome, everybody." "If we could just gather around, we're ready to get started." "Just have to take care of a little business first." "Okay, just need you to sign and date the bottom, both of you." "Sam." "Sam Sam Sam Sam!" " The stroller!" " Oh my God!" "Sam!" "Sam Sam Sam Sam!" "No no no no!" "Sam!" "Thank you, Sammy." "I'll take that." "She's just an innocent baby." "Come on, let her go." "Oh, poor Sammy." "I get it." "You see yourself in her." "A poor innocent who gets screwed by someone else's bad choices." "But I told you before, she is no innocent." "How do you know for sure?" "Because she's destined for evil." "Nature verses nurture." "No amount of loving parenting will change this kid." "Look, I've been around a long time." "From everything I've seen, nature always wins." "Doesn't it, honey, huh?" "All right, fine." "Fine, if she's gonna be so terrible just let her stay here on earth." "What are you babbling on about?" "She's destined for evil, right?" "I mean, isn't that what you want, people to do evil things?" "Let her grow up and go totally sick on the world." "I want souls, Sammy." "That's my deal." "But imagine how many more souls she could deliver to you." "How many people will she hurt?" "Boyfriends, friends, people she can mess up who will probably turn evil themselves, right?" "I mean, you could have one soul or dozens." "Hmm." "You don't even know what she's gonna be when she grows up." "What if she's a teacher?" "What if she's a psychiatrist," "Think how many people she can damage like that." "Hey, maybe you'll become a politician, even president." "Yes yes, absolutely." "That's what I'm saying." "Well..." "There you go." "Here you go." "Wow, Sammy." "What a performance, man." "What are you saying?" "Did you really think I would fall for that she'll-be-evil bit?" "You're really bumming me out, man." "You think I'm such a dummy." "I know how this story ends, how this kid is gonna turn out." "The same way I know how you're gonna turn out." "You can't stop nature, Sammy." "And I'll very much enjoy the look on your face when I'm proven right." "What are you doing?" " Hey, sis." " What's this?" "What?" "This?" "Oh, this is..." "this is nothing." "This is a pill the doctor told me to take." "I have a small problem." "Well, not small." "It's, you know, more of an average-sized problem." "And I need to take these to tame my... vivaciousness." "I need to take my free and curious outgoing nature and put it inside of a box to make myself a better brother and person." "I'm too spirited." "No." "No." "It would break my heart if you were any less spirited." " I won't let you." " Wai..." "Ah!" "I never want your wonderful spirit to change." " Kristen, I..." " Sock... you have been so loving and attentive." "And if you change that wonderful spirit, that will change me, and that would be sad." "Yeah." "You're right." "I don't know what I was thinking with the..." "You are very very very sweet and perceptive." "You are..." "you are a good person." "This is good, right?" "This is... yeah." "You are an amazing sister." "Now we need to make sure you don't change." " Yeah." " What can I do to help you?" " Help me?" " Yeah." "Anything." "I will do anything for you." "Just tell me what it is you need from me and I will give it." "In your face!" "Thank you." "I'll see you next week." "Go away." "Ooh, testy." "Everything all right?" "I know why you're here." "You have some sick need to mess with me and Sam." "Well, it's not gonna work, so thanks for stopping by." "I'm not gonna mess with you." "I'm just surprised you're still dating him, being the son of the Devil and all." " Sam is a good guy." "He's not you." " Really?" "Yeah, and with everything that hangs over Sam's head, he still manages to be a good and decent person." "I think he'll always be that way." "Wow." "That's amazing." "No no no no, I'm impressed by your intuitiveness." "You can see evil." "I'm still trying to hone that knack." "Evil is a tough one to spot." "You know, it lurks down in those deep dark corners." "It's hard to see." "Oh, and they say the worst evil comes in a friendly form... a nice smile, familiar eyes." "And it's never recognized." "Well, until it's too late." "Especially if you're in love." "They say evil is impossible to see if it's got your heart." "But good for you that you're so confident about Sam." "I mean, that's great." "I must have missed it." "But good eye, Andi." "Good job." "Well, this is the place." "You're gonna move into this?" "Yeah, unit 18." "It's a great storage facility." "To live in?" "Yeah, it's climate- controlled, quiet." "The first month is free." "Are you sure Mom won't let you move back?" "Uh, no, Sam." "She made it pretty clear we're over." "She blames me for everything that happened and she's got every right not to forgive me." "But hey, what do you think?" "We put a flatty on the wall, some chili pepper string lights, get my old Seahawks posters framed." "Could be a real man cave, right?" "Dad..." "I can't stay mad at you." "You're my father." "What?" "If I am a good person, it's because of how I was raised." "You raised me well, Dad." "Sam... you're a good son." "Anyway... let's get this sucker unloaded and move in." "Wait, Dad." "I have a better idea." "Push it to the left." "Turn it to the left." "Okay, yeah." "All right." "Hey, guys." "Hey, how was the ride over?" "Oh, good good." "This is great." "Hey, I've got a bunch of refrigerator magnets from the Bench, so you can style and decorate it any way you want, okay?" "Oh, that's fantastic, Ben." "Okay, I want to be really clear about something, Mr. O." "You are a garage roomy only, okay?" "I don't want you wandering inside the house." "It's off-limits to the mostly dead." "Oh yeah yeah, I understand completely." "Okay then." "Welcome aboard." " Stay cool, Mr. Oliver." " I will." "I will." "You know, this place is so roomy." "I'll have to have a party and invite you guys over." "Totally." " You are a good son." " I second that."