" Evening, Chaplain." " Good evening, Sister." "Is the governor with Hilton?" "Yes, the result of her appeal's just come through." "Yes, I know." "I'm glad I haven't got the governor's job." " Good evening, Chaplain." " Good evening, Governor." " How is she?" " She's taken it very well." "You'd better go in now." "Thank you." "Good evening, Mrs Hilton." "I'm very sorry, Mrs Hilton." "Is there anything you would like me to do for you?" "Your mother." "Would you like me to write to her or..." "When will it be?" "I wasn't quite taking it in when the governor told me." "You have two more weeks here." "Then unless you're reprieved it will be in the third week." "Excuse me, sir." "Mrs Hilton's lawyer has been waiting to see her." "Do you feel well enough to see him?" "The lawyer." "Do you want to see him?" "Yes." "All right." "Yes, well, I'll be back later." "I'm sorry, Mrs Hilton, I'm very sorry indeed." "But even now it is possible that there may be a reprieve." "You follow me?" "Even now the home secretary may recommend a reprieve." "In which case, the governor will bring the news to you immediately, be it day or night." "You can rest assured that everything possible is being done on your behalf." "If you should wish to see me at any time, it can be arranged without delay." "I'm tired." "I've got a headache." "I'm going to go to bed." "And I don't want any cocoa." "It's early." "Surely you don't want to go to bed yet?" "Nothing else to stay up for." " The others will be here in minutes." " Yes." " Who's on tonight?" " Hill and MacFarlane." "You'll get something to help you to sleep, help you have a good night's rest." "You can have it now if you like." " Here they are." " Yes." " Hello." " Hello, MacFarlane." " You've forgotten to fill in the date." " Oh, I..." "All right, I'll do it myself." " Are you ready for sleep?" " Yes." "Can I have the cloth?" "The doctor said you could take these." "This is what they do to you when you face a firing squad, isn't it?" "I told you not to start the cloth business." "She'll have this performance every evening now." "Thank you, Mrs Hilton, thank you." "The food all right?" "Better keep a cloak on when you go out this morning, there's still a nip in the air." " There's some talk of him retiring." " Oh, I hope not." "I think he's ever so nice." "He's a good doctor too." "Of course, Hilda remembers Dr Morris, he was before our time." "She hasn't got a good word to say for this one." " You know why that is, of course?" " No, why?" "When Hill went to him complaining about dreadful headaches, he told her she must expect them at her time of life." " She says she's only 44." " Go on." "She'll never see 50 again as far as I'm concerned." "I have no time for women who try to conceal their ages." "It's all very well to talk if you've nothing to conceal." " What do you say, Hilton?" " Perhaps." "Doesn't seem to matter." "You're all right, anyway." "You needn't worry." "It's the stringy kind like me that wears badly." "It's time for..." "It's time for exercise." "Let's go out before it starts raining." "That was a close shave." "I think it's silly the way we officers aren't allowed to smoke and the prisoner is." "Of course." "'Ere." "Have one." "And since to look at things in bloom, 50 springs are little room," "About the woodlands I will go," "To see the cherry hung with snow." "Keep moving, Hilton, or you'll be cold." "You'll be cold." "You'll be cold." "To see the cherry hung with snow." "Hung." "I killed Lucy." "Now they're going to kill me." "Supposing I'd never met Jim, none of this would have happened." "Or would it?" "No, no." "That's not it either." "It's not as cloying as that." "Something sharper." "More like the bouquet of very good brandy." "It is difficult when you don't even know the manufacturer's name." "How about that bottle there?" "That one that looks like green chartreuse?" "If only I could remember what it's called." " Last weekend from the sound of it." " Hey, wait a minute." "That's it." "That's it." " What scent are you wearing?" " It's called Christmas Rose." "Yeah, that's the one." "We only have very small bottles of Christmas Rose at five guineas." "No kidding." "I suppose you don't split them." "No." "All right, I'll take it." "One, two, three, four, five." "And, er... five shillings." "Don't bother to have it delivered, it will fit in my pocket." " Who's that?" " I don't know." "He looks OK." "Mm." "Lots of people came into the beauty shop and I never expected to see Jim again, until one evening Doris and her boyfriend asked me to join them for a drink." " Don't." "You know what happened." " Don't fuss." " There." " Charge it, George." "Entertainment on my expense account." "Exercise now, dear, before my arteries harden." "Another drink for the lady, George." "George, it looks like a wet night inside as well as out, eh?" "Same again, miss?" "Er, yes, please." "Would you care to dance?" "No, thank you, I'm with somebody." "Hello." "Well, it's Christmas Rose." " Come to talk to the slave?" " Is this what you do for a living?" "No, this is what I do three nights a week, but not for a living." " Then what?" " I teach." "But also not for a living." "Mostly I invest." " What in?" " Horses." "But not for a living." "Maybe we ought to introduce ourselves." "My name's Jim." "Jim Lancaster." "I'm Mary Hilton." "Thanks." "I needed that." "You're with your husband?" " Oh, no, he's not my husband." " But you're married." " Yes, I'm married." " Where is he?" " Home, I suppose." " And does he mind you, er..." "Fred?" "Fred doesn't mind." "Poor Fred." "Christmas Rose." "Shall we dance?" "Christmas Rose." "That certainly is a wonderful smell." "I've still got that bottle of scent." "Would you like it?" "No, thanks." "Anyway, you must have got it for somebody." " Yeah, sure I did." " Well, what's her name?" "Lucy Carpenter." " You know her?" " No, I don't think so." "She used to come in her most nights." "Just slumming, I suppose." " Thanks." " You know what I mean." "Girls with too much money get spoiled." "Anyway, she's made a big impression." "You even know what her favourite perfume is." "Only because it's yours..." "Christmas Rose." "It doesn't take long to fall in love." "And as we danced, I wished we could be together always." "Jim used to meet me most evenings after that." "I remember the first time he took me back to where he lived." "Come on, in here." "I told you it's quite a way from the bus stop." "We should have waited for a cab." "You're soaked." "Doesn't matter." "What a nice room you've got." "I suppose not too bad." "Been in plenty worse." "Still, the view isn't exactly Buckingham Palace." "Come on." "These will warm us up." "Come on." "Knock it back." "Who's that woman downstairs?" "She gave me rather a peculiar look." "You mean my landlady, Mrs Thomas." "Doesn't she approve of female visitors?" "No, not on principle, but I flatter myself I'm her favourite lodger." "Sounds as though you have hundreds of girlfriends." "Oh, thousands." "You know, sometimes there's such a crush on the staircase, can't get up or down." "You know something, I feel very funny." "Slightly delirious." "If you don't get out of those wet clothes, that's what you will be." "Have a hot bath." "That's one thing about this dump, the water's always boiling." "Well, there it is." " I'll go and see about some food." " OK." "How do I look?" "Wonderful." "You'd better get by the fire, you'll catch cold." "You sound as though you've caught one already." "Don't worry about me." "Nobody would care if I caught double pneumonia." "What's the matter with you?" "Why do you always sound so bitter?" "It's nothing." "You know, you've never really told me all about yourself." "What, the story of my life and hard times?" "Mm-hm." "OK." "Well, let's begin at the beginning." "Born in Bristol, only child." "Father Canadian, mother Irish." "Father wanted to live in Canada, Mother didn't." "First of all she got her way, then he got his." "She kept nagging the old man to bring us back to England, but he wouldn't." "Finally he died and Mother did bring me back here." "Well, there wasn't much money and any dreams I had of being a famous pianist or composer soon faded away." "Then the war." "My mother was killed in the Blitz and I can't pretend that I was broken-hearted." "Well, after the war I joined up with a third-rate dance band playing the piano, and a couple of years ago they took me on at the club." "That's about it." "Anything else you want to know?" "Lots." "But it'll keep." "Jim was moody at times, but he seemed happy enough." "And I could always make him laugh." "He often took me dancing, but I liked the ordinary times best, when we walked in the park not saying much." "Perhaps my marriage was just like any other that has gone wrong." "I don't know." "I only know that I began to grudge every minute spent away from Jim, until the time came when I could bear it no longer." "So I made up my mind to leave Fred." "I must have been blind." "Or maybe I wouldn't let myself believe that Jim never loved me the way I did him." "You're not angry, are you?" "No, I'm not angry, but, er... you can't stay here." "No." "Of course not." "I'll go to a hotel tonight and then tomorrow I'll find myself somewhere." "Your husband." "What's he gonna say about all this?" "Oh, he'll get over it." "All he ever thinks about is his work." "Hardly ever seems to notice whether I'm there or not." "Well, that's marriage, I guess." "What do you know about it?" "You've never been married." "What difference does that make?" "You don't have to go down a coalmine to know it's dark and dirty." "By all accounts he seems a decent enough chap." " Is he going to divorce you?" " Maybe." "I don't know." "I'll bet Mum tries to stop him, though." "I can just hear her saying, "Give her enough rope and she'll come back."" " Mum's like that." " Maybe she's right." "Of course she's not." "She's only afraid I might be a burden on her." "Anyway, it isn't only because of you that I've left," "Fred doesn't really need me." "We'll be all right." "You've got your job at the club and I'm earning good money." "Jim, you do love me, don't you?" "Yeah, sure I do." "If only I'd met you years ago." "Then we could have been always like this." "You do really love me, don't you?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I do." "Oh, Jim, don't let me blame you." "For if I truly blamed you, I would want to die." "Time to go in now, Hilton." "Try and eat a little, Hilton." "It's much better for you if you eat." "That's it." "Fattening me up like a Christmas turkey." "Don't like turkey, myself." "We always have goose." "What time's my visit?" "Three, I expect." "My mum and my brother are supposed to be coming." "The governor's made arrangements for them to see you in the interviewing room." "Have they got far to come?" "No." "Only about three quarters of an hour on the bus." "Well, that's not too bad, is it?" "Mum was wondering..." "Weren't you, Mum?" "Mum was thinking perhaps you'll be wanting some of your own clothes." "It would be no trouble to make up a parcel." "Thanks, but I have to wear this." "Well, it's not too bad." "And cigarettes?" "Well, what about..." "Like I said, I'm allowed ten a day." "Oh." "Right." "You were always trying to cut down on them." "I hope you weren't thinking I was lacking in feeling not coming before, but Dr Barton said I mustn't have any more upsets." "Mrs Arden at number 12, she sends her regards." "We don't want no sympathy from her." "And the newspapers making out you never had a decent home." "Your dad would turn in his grave thinking of all the good money spent bringing you up like a lady." "Mum." "We'll be coming up again next week." "Mum's written to the home secretary." "And we're getting up a petition." "It's Alan that goes round collecting all the signatures." "Not a job for a young boy, you might say, but..." "I" " I just couldn't look anyone in the face." "Honest, I couldn't." "Mum, please." "Time is up." "Try not to worry, Mary." "I'll write to you tonight, the moment I get..." "When I get home." "Bye, Alan." "Goodbye, Mary." "Put that down." "It's mine." "And there's nothing in prison regulations to say I can't draw on my own property." "I know every mark and blemish in this cell, every crack in the walls, scratches on the wooden chairs, the place where the paint has peeled off the ceiling... and the door at the foot of my bed." "The door without a handle." "I know it better than any room I've ever lived in." "The light." "The light." "Why don't they put out the light?" "Why don't they put out the light?" "Oh, it's no good." "It keeps slipping off." "All the others have lights out, why can't I?" "Right." "Lie down, Hilton." "Lie down." "Try and get some sleep." "Will you be with me when they do it?" "Will you?" "There can still be a reprieve." " Good morning, Barker." " Morning, madam." "Good morning, Hilton." "Shall we sit down?" " Good morning, Hill." " Morning, madam." "I've had a letter this morning from your husband." " Fred?" " Yes." "He says he would like to come and see you." "Do you wish to see him?" "I" " I don't know." "We've been separated for a long time." "I don't even know where he lives now." "Somewhere near Winchester." "You don't have to see anyone if you don't want to, but I think perhaps it would be a good thing." " All right, if you say so." " Good." "I'll see to it." "Finish making up your bed." "Ready now?" "No." "I suppose this will call for a handkerchief." "Come along." " Hello, Mary." " Hello, Fred." "I would have come before, but..." "Well, you know how it is." "Got a few days off from work, so if there's anything I can do." "Perhaps you could keep an eye on Alan." "Don't let them come again." "He's too young and Mum only gets upset." "I don't know how all this came about, Mary, but... it doesn't make any difference to the way I feel." "Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry." "But there's still a chance." "But don't let's count on it." "Thanks for coming, Fred." "You heard there was trouble in E Wing last night." "Yes." "Discipline's what they want and what they got in my young days." "Give me charge of this prison for a few months and you'd see some changes." " Where's she come from?" " She belongs to Matron at the hospital." "Don't let her come near me." "I hate cats." " Come along." "It's too windy to stay out." " Give her to me." "I'll take her back." "Seems to be a letter for you." "Fred, I expect." "You're lucky to have such a regular correspondent." "I used to censor the letters once." "There was one man who wrote so small, you almost needed a microscope to read it." "You're not supposed to receive more than two sheets." "I suppose he thought he'd get in more that way." "Different for you, of course." "Fred writes to me every day now, but I'm afraid his letters bore me as much as ever." "I don't think you should write about love unless you're a poet." "It sounds silly." "But then I never loved anyone but Jim." "And I never had a letter from him." "Everything all right?" "Mm." "How about a game of chess?" "Time before you have your bath." "You're picking up the game very well." "Ten minutes late." "Really is too bad." "They don't seem to think that we want any supper." "Give me your hand." "Canteen food's bad enough at any time." "At this hour it's impossible." "Well, those two have no sense of responsibility." "About time." "So you're here at last." "I'm awfully sorry, Miss Hill, but I stopped to have a wee smoke after supper." "Next time make it a cigarette, not a cigar." "This is your job." "Thank you." "If this happens again, I shall report it." "Come, Barker." "You'd think we were an hour late instead of ten minutes." "Hill's always picking on me as well these days." "I've got a good mind to ask for a transfer before the summer." " Been in this prison long enough." " You wouldn't do that, Pat." "I suppose not." "I'll get used to it." "I'll get the towel." "Come along now." "We'd better hurry, there's the chapel bell." "You're limping, Hilton." "It's these shoes." "They've given me a blister." "Why haven't you reported it?" " I didn't think it mattered." " Well, of course it matters." "You know we have to report things like that." "I'll tell the doctor myself this afternoon." "# And trust in his redeeming blood" "# And try his works to do" "# Amen #" "Are you all right?" "My foot hurts me." "They said they'd try and get me another pair of shoes." "That was the first thing I noticed about Lucy." "Her legs and feet." "Beautiful shoes she had on." "Black suede with very high heels." "Isn't Mario's customer smart?" "Who is she?" "I haven't seen her before." "I have, with your boyfriend at the Orchid Grove." "Don't be so silly." "Jim couldn't afford to go to expensive places like that." "Nobody said he paid, darling." "So he said to her, "Those aren't grey hairs, they're cobwebs."" "Hey, drink up, boys." "It's gone time." "That was a cheap round for you now that Mary's gone TT on us." "Who said so?" "Oh!" "Little Miss Iceberg thaws at last." "Well, perhaps you'd like to dance now." "My car's outside." "We could dance in the back of that." "No, seriously, Mary, it's too early to go home." "Come back to my place." "We can make it a party, there's plenty to drink." " Who's gonna be there?" " You and me." "Come on, Mary, how about it?" "Sorry, Roy." "Good night." "Well, that was a gay evening, I must say." "That fellow Roy wanted me to go dancing with him." " Why didn't you?" " What do you think I am?" "A nightclub queen?" "I have to get up early and do a full day's work tomorrow." "Look, some other time." "I'm gonna be late." " Late for what?" " I told you." "I've got another engagement tonight." " You didn't tell me." " Sure I did." "At Perry's Club." " Can I come too?" " Thought you weren't a nightclub queen." "Anyway, the boss wouldn't like it." "Shall I see you tomorrow evening?" " No, I'm going to the dogs with Ally." " Again?" "Why not?" "I need the money." "Did quite well last time." "I've got a new system." "Then when?" " Friday, I guess." " Jim." "If it was over between us, you'd tell me, wouldn't you?" " Oh, Mary..." " No, Jim, listen." "I..." "I don't want it to be over, but... if you didn't care about me any more, it would be just awful to go on." "I..." "Everything's just the same, Mary." "Come on." "I'll get you a cab." "Are you coming?" "You've forgot your cigarettes." "But it was over, Jim." "You left me that night to go to Lucy." "It was over then, but you didn't have the courage to tell me." "Until you had to." "Jim had promised to call for me after work that Friday... but it didn't surprise me when he wasn't waiting outside as usual." "Well, you can see for yourself he's not here." "You'd better wait." "Maybe he won't be long." " If he phones, I'll tell him you're here." " Thank you." "Mind you, I don't really like to let young ladies wait in the gentlemen's rooms." "The last time I did was two years ago, when a lady came to see Mr Koloris." "She's still here." "Loveliest of trees the cherry now," "Is hung with bloom along the bough," "And stands about the woodland ride," "Wearing white for Eastertide." "Now of my three-score years and ten, 20 will not come again," "And take from 70 springs a score," "It only leaves me 50 more." "And since to look at things in bloom, 50 springs are little room," "About the woodlands I will go," "To see the cherry hung with snow." " Is that you, Mr Lancaster?" " Ah." "That Mrs Carpenter phoned four times this morning, said it was urgent." " OK." " And someone's waiting to see you in your room." "I didn't know you read poetry." "I had that when I was 15." "Read all sorts of things when I was young." "I was ambitious once." " Perhaps you still are." " What do you mean?" "Why are you so late?" "Where have you been?" "With a woman." "That's what you wanted me to say, isn't it?" "If it isn't true." "Why didn't you tell me before about Lucy Carpenter?" "Because you didn't ask me." "You should have stayed with Fred." "I'll never be any good to you." "Well, maybe I should have told you about Lucy, but I thought it was all over then." "Lately she's been coming back into the club and..." "Oh, it's no use talking about it." "Are you in love with her?" "I suppose you could call it that." "But you're not happy." "What's the good of that kind of love?" "You wouldn't understand." "No, I wouldn't understand." "I wouldn't know all the tricks a woman like that uses to keep you on the end of a string." "I wouldn't have the money to take you to ritzy places and fill you up with drinks." "I've seen her, Jim." "She lives in a different world." "She'll drop you when..." "Stop it, can't you?" "It's no good!" "I suppose I've got no pride, but..." "I still love you, Jim." "Mary." "I don't know how I got through the next few weeks." "I never heard from Jim." "And the one time I phoned, at the last minute I couldn't face asking for him." "I hardly ever went out in the evenings in case he should come to me." "I sat at home writing letters to him, then tearing them up." "Until one night the doorbell rang." "Mary!" "Mary!" "Jim." "What's the matter?" "I was going to meet Lucy and she never turned up." "She wouldn't even answer the telephone." "What are you doing with this?" "None of your business." "You really wanna know, I was gonna blow my head off." "I took the gun and locked it away in a drawer." "I took his shoes off and he fell asleep in the chair." "Nothing mattered any more." "I was happy again." "Jim had come back." "Jim!" " Yeah?" " Oh." "I thought you'd gone." "No, I was having a wash." "Would you like some breakfast?" "I could do with some coffee." "I'll bet." "I'll make some." "You know something?" "I love you." "You haven't forgotten that it's New Year's Eve, have you?" "Remember we promised to go to Doris and Bob's tonight, to a party?" "Yeah, so we did." "You know I really don't think I can wear that old dress of mine again." "Maybe I'll go out today and buy a new one." "Uh-huh." "One egg or two?" "Who were you phoning?" "It was Lucy, wasn't it?" "Look, Mary, it's no good." "I've got to see her again." "Can't you understand?" "Can't you?" "I've got to find out what's happening, I've got to." "What's she done to you?" "Why do you knock yourself out for this girl?" " You're just another man to her." " I can't help myself!" "Try and understand." "Please try and understand." "I've tried to understand, but I can't." "I'll make her see me today." "If I could only see her for five minutes, I could get it all sorted out." " I've got to see her." " No!" " No, Jim, Jim, don't go." "Please don't go!" " I'll come back." "I couldn't spend New Year's Eve without you." " I'm sorry, Mary." "I've made up my mind." " Please don't go." "Please don't go, Jim!" "Please say you'll come back tonight." "Promise me." "I said I'd come back." "I promise!" "No!" "No!" "Jim, I don't want you to go!" " Look, Mary, stop." " Please." " No, no!" " Be quiet." "Hilton." "Be quiet." "It was just a bad dream, that's all." "Just a dream." "No." "It wasn't a dream." "It wasn't a dream." "Close your eyes." "Try and go to sleep." "I'm afraid it will be some time before we can lance it, but it will be all right with this dressing on." "Barker, it's to be changed every evening." "Yes, Doctor." "Well, Mrs Hilton, you're to have a visitor today." "Someone who's been connected with the prison service for a very long time." "She asked if she could see you and the governor arranged for this afternoon." "I think you'll like her." "If there's anything you wish to, er..." "unburden yourself of, well, I don't think you could do better than talk to her." " Who is she?" " Her name is Miss Bligh." "Oh, yes, I lived in London for many years, but I'm really supposed to be retired now, so that's how I'm able to live in the country." "My garden takes up much of my time, though still not as much as I should like to give it." "I spent this morning at a flower show they were holding at one of those big stores." "Are you fond of flowers?" "Yes, but I don't know very much about them." "Everybody loves flowers, don't they?" "Oh, I wish you could have seen them." "Oh, and look." "I bought some of those to plant in my own garden." "Well, I hope they come up all right." "Yes." "It's chastening work, gardening." "Ooh, gracious, I must fly." "But I'll come and see you again soon if I may." "Is there anybody you'd like me to call and see on your behalf?" "Are you sure?" "There's no one." "Thank you, all the same." "There you are, my dear." "They'll give you some water and you can put them beside your bed." "Did you ever have anything like this before?" "Something the same." "Got it when I went skating." "I think it was the boot pressing against my heel." " Do you like skating?" " I did once." "Long time ago." "There was a pond where we used to live in the country." "We used to look forward to it freezing over every year." "Oh, the violets are nice." " Yes, the visitor brought them." " Miss Bligh?" "Let's put them in water." "How do you get on with her?" "She seemed OK." "Does she come here often?" "No, not very often now." "She comes here to lecture sometimes." "She writes books, too." " What about?" " Prison reform, mostly." "Does that do any good?" "Oh, I imagine if you'd been in prison 25 years ago, you'd notice the difference." "I expect the ones like me found it very much the same." "I suppose that's true, but the ones like you, as you put it, are a very small part of the life in here." "You mean there aren't many in for murder?" "No." "Well, that's easy, since they bump off those who are." "There a quite a few doing life sentences, you know." "I don't know." "And I don't want to know." "Especially when you're all so smug about everything." "Cocoa will be here in a minute." "You'd better get undressed." "Can't even out them by the side of my bed." "You'd better take them away." "What are you making now?" "A nosebag for me old man." "There's a hole in my vest." "Never mind, you'll be getting clean things tomorrow." "Yes." "It's the end of the week." "If you're really not well, Hilton, that's a different matter." "Otherwise you must get up at once." "See you soon." "You must try and pull yourself together." "We've got out job to do, you know." "And looking after people in here isn't our favourite part of it." "Hilton, I've been a prison officer for 25 years." "And believe me, I'm right when I tell you that if you accept your punishment, don't fight it, you'll find it far easier to bear." "Now now, Mrs Hilton." "What's the matter, are you in pain?" "None that you could cure." "You'll feel better once you've had some breakfast." "I don't want any." "I'm not hungry." "It's not essential to eat, but a good strong cup of tea would do you good." "Hm!" "It's not easy, this waiting." "For you or any of us." "But by forcing yourself to conform to the routine, however hard and futile it may seem, you'll find that when the time comes, if it does come," "you'll be better prepared to meet it." "The things that we most fear are seldom as terrible as we expect." "Now, how about it, hm?" "That's better." "Get Mrs Hilton's clothes and help her to dress." "Ooh, I nearly forgot." "Your mother has your cat." "Billy, isn't it?" "He's very well, she said to tell you." "I hope he's eating all right." "He's very fussy." "Oh, yes." "Cats are very adaptable." "They're by nature independent." "A great help." "You've been to see my mother?" "Yes, and your brother, Alan." "Such a nice boy." "Is he all right?" "It's been a bad time for them." "I expect the visits are trying." "Some people find it difficult to know what to say." "Are you sorry for what you've done?" "Oh, I don't mean are you sorry that you're here." "I regret nothing." "I don't know if you mean that, Mrs Hilton." "But I'm not here to question you." "I expect you've had more time to think since you've been here than you have in your whole life before." "Am I not right?" "Of course I have." "But at the moment I've got more important things to think about than being sorry for what I've done." "I doubt that." "Remember what I've said." "Don't be afraid." "Of course, I'm very sorry for the girl." "But we mustn't forget the other one, the one that was murdered." "Oh, I don't forget her." "But another death won't bring her back." "How was Miss Bligh?" "She told me not to be afraid." "How can I be anything else?" "I know about that door at the foot of my bed." "It's through there that it happens, isn't it?" "Are you sure there's nothing I can send you, Mary?" "Are they treating you well?" "So it's not too bad, then?" "It's OK." "Bye, Fred." "I'll come and see you again." "I've told 'em at work and they don't mind..." "How was your husband?" "He's not my husband, we're separated." "Decent of him to come and see you, then." "The animals in the zoo are always a big draw." "You don't mean that, Hilton." "He must be fond of you or he wouldn't come." "I expect it'll help him with his story for the press." "Surely you don't think that?" "Who cares what I think?" "It doesn't matter, does it?" "No, of course it doesn't in your present state of mind." "What do you know about the state of my mind?" "You're none of you human." "You know nothing." "Nothing!" "Would you like to play?" "It's all arranged." "I'm sick of everything being arranged!" "I don't understand this game!" " It's easy to learn if..." " I don't want to learn!" "I keep wondering if there'll be a reprieve." "This is the only hope left to me." "They said I would be told directly any news came." "Every time I hear footsteps in the passage," "I expect it to be the governor." "This week is bad enough." "But next week will be worse." "It will be my last on earth unless..." "Unless..." "If they're going to do it, why don't they do it quickly?" "Here you are, Hilton." "I've brought you a nice fried egg for your breakfast." "Do I have to et this with spoons as well?" "Oh, but it's easy." "You don't want that cut up as well, do you?" "You know who's coming to see you today?" "No, I haven't looked in my engagement book yet." "Oh, very good." "Very good!" "They're sending over a clean dress." "You might as well put it on this morning." "Come along, Hilton, your mother's already waiting." "I'm not going, I don't want to see her." " Hilton!" " I told her not to come." "She doesn't care about me, she never did." "Whatever else you may think, she's still your mother." "No, I won't see her, I won't!" "She always said I'd come to a bad end." "Now she just wants to gloat at me cos she was right." " Why does she keep coming here?" " Be quiet!" "Can't you think of anyone but yourself, even now?" "Don't you know what this time must be like for your family?" "Whatever happens, it's going to be with them for the rest of their lives." "So what?" "!" "I didn't ask to be born, did I?" " Stop it!" " I didn't!" "Come along." "You don't want to keep your mother waiting." "Mum." "I asked you not to bring Alan again." "It" " It's not her fault, Mary." "I wanted to come." "I wanted to see you." "How are you, Mary?" "Things all right?" "The chaplain gave me a book to read." "It has bits of poetry and quotations in it." "And there's one place I keep coming back to." ""For the night is already at hand, and it is well to yield to the night."" "Perhaps it is well, but I can't." "I want to live." "I want it more than ever." "Did you know MacFarlane had to see the governor today?" " No, what about?" " Search me." "Mac keeps things to herself." "I like her, mind you, but she's a bit of a strain sometimes." "She's got a sort of way of shutting you up." "Good job too." "You young things talk too much, anyway." "Come and get your cocoa, Hilton, then you'd better get ready for bed." "Expect that chair's getting pretty hard now, anyway." "Your limp seems worse." "We'd better get Sister to look at it." "I think we'll have a plaster on now." "We'll leave it on for a few days." "It'll be healed by the time you take it off." "There." "That's all right, then." "If you need anything else, Miss Hill, I can always come back." ""Always come back."" ""Always come back."" "Come back, Jim." "New Year's Eve." "New Year's Eve." "New Year's Eve." "Jim said he'd come back on New Year's Eve." "And all that I made myself believe he'd keep his promise." "I even bought a new dress, the most expensive dress I ever had." "I spent my last penny on it." "But the hours dragged by and still no Jim." "Hello, darling?" "Shh!" "Quiet!" "Quiet, I can't hear!" "Shh!" "Hello." "Hello, Mary?" "When are you coming over to join us?" " It's you, Doris." " When are you coming over, Mary?" "It's only an hour to go before new year." "I've been trying to ring him for three quarters of an hour but it's engaged." "Well, listen, Mary." "If you're not over in ten minutes, we're coming to fetch you." "Jim or no Jim!" "Aren't we, Bob?" "Are we?" "!" "Oh-ho-ho!" "In fact, I think we'll come now." "No, Doris, don't do that." "Look, I'll try Jim's number again..." "Wait a minute." "He's here now!" "See you later." "Bye!" "Surprise!" "You told me to drop in sometime and here I am!" "Come on, we're going to paint the town red." "Why, and you're all dressed up and nowhere to go!" "At least I hope so!" "Not tonight, Roy, please." "Mary, you need cheering up." "The gang's downstairs." "Come along with us." "No strings." "I mean that." "That's very sweet of you, but no thanks." "OK." "Bye." "And now, Fido Bettini and his rumba band will take you on a trip to the sun-drenched beaches of Tobago, with an exciting new number, Farmer Palmer." "Yes, what is it?" "Is Jim there?" "Jim Lancaster." "Oh!" "Well, er..." "Well, I don't think so." "Hold on a minute, I'll go and have a look." "Eldred!" "Eldred, come here, quick." " What is it?" "What's the matter?" " Shut the door." "Quick, quick." "Upstairs." "Mr Lancaster." "Hello?" "Hello?" "What's happening?" "Hello?" "!" "What's the matter?" "!" "Answer me, please!" "Hello?" "Miss, something terrible's happened." "You'd better come." "Right away." "Then your husband came up and opened the windows then telephoned the police?" " That's right, Sergeant." " Right, you'd better wait downstairs." "What did he do?" "What did he do?" "He left this note on the table, I presume it's for you." "Excuse me, miss." "May I have your name and address, please?" "Mary Hilton." "5 Blakestone Gardens." "West 8." "I suppose you know that any notes written by the deceased should be submitted to the coroner, as evidence." "Of course, anything personal will be returned to you." "It..." "It's not personal!" "It's not personal!" "I didn't go to work on the day of the inquest." "I wasn't needed as a witness." "It was Lucy he'd written to." "Since Jim's death, I'd felt sort of stunned." "Like I was drugged or something." "I bought a paper from a newsboy, quite calmly, although I knew I was going to read what they said about Jim." "Lucy made it sound as though he was just a man she'd met a few times who'd become infatuated with her and was making a nuisance of himself." "He came to see me on the afternoon of his death." "He was very drunk." "I told him to leave." "I also told him that I was going to be married again, and a further meeting would be impossible." "He became very abusive." "Fortunately, my fiancé arrived and dealt with the situation." ""I was naturally shocked to hear of his death."" "I got up." "I must have looked strange because an elderly lady touched my arm and said something to me." "But her voice seemed to be coming from a long way off." "I could feel the hate for Lucy welling up inside of me." "I hated her." "But her life could go on as though nothing had happened." "I felt sick with hate." "I can't remember the exact moment when I made up my mind to kill Lucy, though it may have been before I found the key." "I found the key in the trouser pocket of one of Jim's suits." "After the funeral, his landlady sent me some of his things." "I couldn't face looking at them." "I just put the parcel away in a cupboard until a couple of months after..." "After Jim died." "Maybe it would have been better if I'd done it at once." "Premeditated." "That's what the judge said." "In cold blood." "I didn't know at first that it was the key of Lucy's mews cottage." "I just hoped it was." "I found Lucy's number." "I went there one afternoon and tried the key in the lock." "It fitted." "I rang Lucy's number lots of times after that." "In the mornings, a voice answered that I took to be the daily woman's." "Hello?" "Hello?" "But after four in the afternoon, it was always another voice." "A voice that I felt sure was Lucy's." "Hello?" "Hello?" "And so I made my plans to kill Lucy." "With Jim's gun." "Out of revenge." "In cold blood, just like the judge said." "Hilton." "Hilton." "Hilton!" "What time is it?" "It's three o'clock." "You don't know." "You don't understand." "I understand, Hilton, but it can do no good." "No!" "You're in league with the others." "You want to kill me!" "I hate you!" "I hate all of you!" "Come along, Hilton, we're late as it is." "We let you sleep on this morning." "The governor will be here directly." " It's Sunday, isn't it?" " Yes." "It may be my last." "You can always tell it's Sunday, even in prison." "Come on, love, your porridge is getting cold." "Doesn't look as though we'll get out this morning." "There's a bitter east wind." "You could catch your death." "Haven't given you enough, have I?" "Sit down, Hilton." "I'm sorry, madam, I'm afraid we're late this morning." "That's all right." "Go on." "I see you like lots of sugar with your porridge too." "So do I." "Your mother will be here this afternoon." "I don't want to see her." "I don't want to see anyone looking like this." "No one can advise you in these matters." "But don't you think your mother has a right to see you?" "Don't make a decision you may regret, Hilton." "Your mother is suffering too, you know." "I don't know." "Believe me when I tell you that she is." "It upsets her to see me." "It will upset her more if you refuse." "Your brother will not be with her." "She seemed ever such a nice lady." "Miss Bligh, is that her name?" "Real helpful she's been, looking after your thing and that." "We've got a whole heap of signatures for the petition, and no end of important people have been writing to the papers about you." "You'd be surprised." "Alan wanted to come, but I did as you asked, Mary." "Well, I must be getting along now." "You must have hope." "Don't give up hope, Mary." "Don't give up." "Good evening, Mrs Hilton." "Sit down, please." "I am glad to find you here." "I came because I was frightened." "Of course you're frightened." "Our Lord was frightened when he was near to death." "And yet, He could say to the repentant thief, who was crucified beside him," ""This day, thou shalt be with me in paradise."" "I think those are the most beautiful words in the Bible." "If you can believe in them." "Everyone who has put their trust in Him have found His words to be true." "Mrs Hilton, when you fall in love, you don't ask for proof that the man you love is worthy, do you?" "In real love, you only want to give, and God is love." "Real love." "I loved someone." "I still love him." "But all this can't help me now." "No one can." "You can only believe if you want to." "Try and think about what I've said." "Oh, I wish I hadn't volunteered now." "There's nothing to it." "It's only for a few hours." "She'll be going to bed soon, anyway." "Hello, Hilton." "There's a letter for you, it's on the bed." "Where's MacFarlane?" "She hasn't been on today." "Oh, she's on special leave." "Richardson's here instead." "Don't be scared, I'm not gonna bite you." "Can I have some water, please?" "The other door." "MacFarlane will be dreadfully upset." "She used to visit her mother regularly." "I knew nothing about it." "You know she never talks about her home life." "I could have told you." "She was a mental case." "Had been for years." "Personally I think people like that ought to be put away." "Painlessly, of course." " It'll be a happy release." " Mm." "I feel sorry for Mac." "No use saying anything to her about it." "She only freezes you up." "Oh, another Monday morning." "She's still asleep." "We won't wake her." "I hear you're eating better now." "Are you satisfied with the food?" "I see you had a nosebleed last night." "Does that often happen?" "Come over here for a moment." "Footsteps?" " Keep still, please." " Footsteps." "It's the governor." "I know her footsteps." "Good morning, Doctor." "I hope I'm not interrupting." "No, I'm finished, thank you." "Morning, Hilton." "I hope you had a restful night." "Is there anything you want?" "No?" "Well, there's some books and magazines in the post this morning." "You'll get them after lunch." "Here's your cigarette ration, Hilton." "Beats me how you can smoke this brand, they make me cough." "I'll see to these." "I'm sorry about your mother." " Who told you?" " No one." "Just heard them talking." "Everyone knows everything in here." "I went to the funeral yesterday." "I'm sorry." "Well, it's better that way." "They told me it would happen suddenly." "It's just..." "It's just that she was all I had." "Have you always been a prison officer?" "I wasn't born one, if that's what you mean." "I mean, did you ever want to do anything else?" "Yes and no." "When I as a child, I always thought I'd be a nurse." "When I was older I just wanted to get married and have lots of children." "Why didn't you?" "I could say because nobody ever asked me." "but it wouldn't be quite true." "I could have got married once, but there were obstacles." "You mean you had to look after your mother?" "No, I didn't..." "Yes, it had something to do with tit." "Perhaps you will, now that she's dead." "I don't think so." "Maybe you don't love him enough." "Men don't wait forever." "He's married now." "If only I hadn't loved him so much." "I wish I'd never loved Jim." "Do you?" "This won't come out!" "I shouldn't be surprised if there's a card missing." "MacFarlane always forgets to put them back in the case." "Don't know how ever you get that one out." "It's too difficult for me." "Barker did it yesterday but she probably cheated." "Can't what satisfaction it can give you if you cheat." "You'll wear that floor out!" "I think I'll go to bed." "Yeah, I should, love." "You've had a long day." "I once read of a drug which seemed to slow down time, but heighten and increase sensation." "Something like that is happening to me now." "Everything seems suddenly sharp, larger than life." "The pattern on the playing cards." "The bitten end of Brandon's pencil." "Hill's flat, sensible shoes with iron studs on the soles." "Is it because I am near to death?" "Tonight is the worst yet." "Maybe this will be the last night before I know." "I want to know." "But please don't tell me that I'm going to die." "Wake up." "Wake up." "It's time to get up." "What day is it?" "It's Tuesday." "Your breakfast is ready and your clean clothes are on the chair." "Tuesday." "It's Tuesday." "The doctor to see you, Hilton..." "Your cigarettes..." "Letters..." "The newspapers..." "Tuesday." "It's Tuesday." "The chaplain to see you..." "Time for exercise..." "Get your cloak, Hilton..." "Lunch is ready..." "Tea..." "She's coming to tell me." "I know her step." "I'll know in a minute." "No." "Wait." "I don't want to know." "Don't tell me." "I don't want to." "You must have courage, Hilton." "It is my painful duty to tell you that the home secretary has not seen fit to recommend a reprieve." "The execution will take place on Thursday morning." "The chaplain will be ready to see you at any time." "And if you have any special requests," "I shall do my nest to see that they are carried out in accordance with the regulations." "Are you all right, Hilton?" "Oh, Hilton, I'm so sorry." "I'm so dreadfully sorry." "Almighty God, our heavenly Father, who in His great mercy hath promised forgiveness of sins to all them that with heartfelt repentance and true faith, turn to him." "Have mercy upon you." "Pardon and deliver you from all your sins." "Confirm and strengthen you in all goodness, and bring you to everlasting life through Jesus our Lord." "Amen." "Would you like your mother and brother to come with Fred tomorrow?" "I know Fred wants to see you very much." "You hate it, don't you?" " All right, I'll see Fred." " Oh, good." " I'd like to see Miss Bligh." " Miss Bligh?" "I'll try and arrange it." "Put out the light." "Please put out the light." "You're cold." "I'll get another blanket." "Wednesday." "It's Wednesday." "Get up." "Doctor'll be here soon." "Just lie down, Mrs Hilton, your husband'll be here soon." "They all have a funny look in their eyes, like I had once." "But they're going to kill someone, too." "Only this time it's legal." "It's ten to three." "You must get ready for your visit." "All right, Hilton, your husband's here." "Fred." "Mary!" "Mary!" "Can you hear me?" "Yes, I can hear you." "Have you... any message for your mother?" "Tell her I'm all right." "Tell Alan, too." "I love you, Mary." "I'll always love you." "Please don't." "You'd better go now." "Goodbye, Fred." "Goodbye, Mary." "I'll be thinking of you." "All the time." "God bless you, darling." "And forgive you." "I'm praying for you, Mary, all the time." "You'd like to go out now, wouldn't you?" "Been out a long time today, haven't we?" "Would you like to go in?" "I looked up at the sky." "It was the last time I should see it." "I'm not used to the daylight any more." "I was glad when we went in." "I've thought about what you said." "I want to be sorry for what I've done... but I'm too afraid to be sorry." "I want to be brave but I can't." "Now that it's so close, I can't think of anything... but that I'm going to die in the morning." "We're all of us afraid of death in the physical sense." "We shouldn't be human if it were not so." "Believe me, tonight is the hardest time." "When you get up tomorrow, the worst will be over." "The burden of your sin will have passed from you to those who have to go as usual about their daily business." "You will be free." "Your body will obey you automatically, as it's been taught to do." "Your mind will be a long way off, as if in a dream." "And when you wake from that dream," "I pray you will be in God's keeping." "The doctor will give you something to help you to sleep." "You must try to put everything out of your mind." "I know it isn't easy, nor is it easy for the people who are with you." "By remaining calm, you'll make it less difficult for them, and better for yourself." "You'd better get undressed now." "You've been asleep, Mrs Hilton." "I'll give you something to make you sleep again." "It's only ten o'clock." "What time..." "What time is it?" "It's half past twelve." "I don't want it to be morning." "You won't be with me?" "No." "But you'll be all right." "Won't you?" "I don't know." "Doesn't take long, does it?" "Do you believe in God?" "Oh, yes." "I believe in God." "Your religion means a lot to you, doesn't it?" "I couldn't live without it." "I wish I could believe like that." "God is with us all, whether we believe in him or not." "Even when we can't feel his presence." "It's easy for you to talk." "You haven't got to die in the morning." "Have you ever thought..." "we all, all of us... die some morning." "I know I've done wrong." "It doesn't make me want to die." "I'm not ready to die." "Goodbye, Mary." "Get up, Hilton." "You must get dressed now." "What time is it?" "Mrs Hilton..." "Mrs Hilton." "Shall we pray?" "And he said unto me, "It is done."" ""I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end." ""I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely." ""He that overcometh shall inherit all things," ""and I will be his God, and he shall be my son."" "Unto God's gracious mercy and protection, we commit you." "Amen."