"What the hell are you doing with our club?" "I'm sorry, that's business." "It's got nothing to do with you." "You have got some serious anger issues that you need to resolve." "Get out, Lenny!" "What you say?" "!" "I think he told you to get out." "Why can't I have a Namkaran?" "Cos you're not a Hindu!" "Christian, isn't he, Stell?" "Well, not really, he haven't been Christened." "Oh - why not?" "!" "Cos you're the Devil's child!" "Ha-ha-ha-ha!" "I dunno." "We don't go to church nor nothing, do we?" "What's that got to do with it?" "I could've had a rich Godfather who left me all his money in his will." "Like who?" "Rob Morgan." "He's rich." "Or Mrs Barclay." "Hiya." "You all right?" "Hilary Barclay's not rich." "She's richer than me." "Yeah - what's the address?" "OK." "Give me ten minutes." "Mam, can I use the car for a bit?" "Yeah - where you going?" "Nowhere." "Just to see a mate." "My Godmother still sends me a Boots voucher every Christmas." "Is it too late to get me done?" "Isn't this a bit risky?" "Come in." "Quick." "I left Jack at my mam's." "Where's Lenny?" "Down the snooker." "Well, he's not gonna come home and surprise us is he?" "Oh, I don't live here!" "No - it's my nan's house, it is." "I just come here when I wanna escape, like." "OK, so is your Nan gonna come home and surprise us then?" "I bloody hope not, she been dead since Christmas." "Oh, shit." "I'm sorry." "It's for sale." "You can buy it if you like." "Yeah, add it to my property portfolio, is it?" "Me and Len had a terrible row when we got home from the party." "Did he hit you?" "No." "He comes close sometimes." "But he never does." "Aw - isn't he sweet?" "It's mental." "Being here like this." "I know." "Anyone seen my black shoes?" "Ommm." "Paula, have you seen my black wedges?" "Stella." "I'm meditating." "Come again?" "Communicating with the Universal Spirit." "Yeah, well, can you ask him if he's seen my black wedges?" "Oi!" "I'm trying to do your job, good girl." "Are you ever planning on coming back to work?" "!" "Out!" "Why you got the Christmas decs down for?" "They're my iPod speakers and they just broke." "I need them for the audition, don't I?" "You can use my CD player if you like." "Mam, no-one uses CD players anymore!" "Oh, can you take me to get some new ones after school?" "Please?" "Sorry, no can do, presh." "It's Bobby's big day today - first major burial without Paula, so it's all hams on deck." "We're sinking the Gepetto Ferrero." "The ice cream van man?" "Never heard of him." "Tell you what, I'll get your dad to take you, is it?" "OK." "See you." "S'long." "Mam." "Rob's here." "Wow, you look..." "What?" "Nothing." "It's my Death Dress." "I started Simpson's Monday." "And I'm rather good at it even if I do say so myself." "I'm sure you are." "The boy around?" "Yeah." "Still in bed." "All loved up." "Luke!" "Your father's here!" "All right, I'll be down now!" "I see things have shifted up a gear with this, er, Zoe girl." "You know that lunatic boyfriend of hers is Ronnie Mack's son, don't you?" "Oh, nice." "So that's where he gets all his charm." "Vicious little bastard." "Language." "Luke!" "OK!" "What are these?" "Alan's." "He's given them out all over." "To raise funds for the pitch." "Take one." "I got loads." "Haven't people got better things to spend their cash on?" "Not when it's a good cause." "Right, I gotta go." "If you hear any funny noises from upstairs it's Paula communing with the fairies." "S'long." "See ya." "I'm late - can you give me a lift down the gym?" "Sure." "Got a little surprise for you." "Oh, that is bang on." "Looks well profesh." "That's cos we are professionals, Luke Morgan." "Feels weird, y'know - having a new name and a new job?" "Anyone'd think I been put in the witness protection programme." "You might have to be if Lenny finds out about you and Zoe." "Don't you believe it." "He's all bark and no bite, is Lenny." "Well, not much bite." "So when do I get to see your new offices then?" "I wouldn't call them offices as such but you're welcome to have a gander." "I'm going up there after lunch if you fancy tagging along?" "Count me in." "Though... will I have to wear a suit or something?" "Believe me, you're already overdressed." "See you later." "All right, see you." "Melissa... we need to talk." "Wakey-wakey, rise and shine, the birds are up, it's after nine!" "Brenda!" "How d'you get in here?" "Door was on the latch." "Now, have you seen our Dai?" "No!" "Not since Abra's naming do." "Why?" "He's disappeared!" "He was meant to meet me for a choux bun and a catch up but he never showed." "We do it every Wednesday." "He brings The Sun and I bring The Star and we do sit down and put the world to rights over a frothy coffee." "Really?" "Well, we've only done it the once like but I was sure it was a regular fixture." "Give our Stell a bell on your mobile, love, her network do eat my credit up." "I was hoping to catch her but she'd gone time I got here." "Brenda, I am trying to meditate." "Jesus almighty!" "This ain't about you and your joo-joo bells." "This is about Dai." "He could be lying in a gutter somewhere - robbed, battered and bummed!" "Give me 24 hours." "I will have that research on your desk." "I promise you, you'll be 100% reassured that what we're doing is a good thing for the community." "And for you?" "Oh, great." "Becoming a proper little item now you two, aren't you?" "I got biscuits." "And Brillo pads." "Right, you still gotta sort the full size 99 in roses with flake, the running order for the service and the hymn sheet." "No photocopies mind - print it like Paula used to." ""Good morning, Stella and how are you today?"" "Oh, and there's the flowers for the pews, the knobs for the coffin and the trolley for the bearers." "Anything else while I'm at it?" "Tea, coffee, massage?" "Well, I don't do massage me." "I can't have any old random touching my bits." "Just make me a cuppa." "And leave the bag in." "Like Paula used to." "Bobs?" "Sooner or later you're gonna have to accept the fact that I ain't Paula?" "I'm Stella, so I do things the Stella way" " OK?" "All right, all right no need to hyperventilate!" "Shall I do one for Daddy an' all?" "Aye, go on." "Oh, and one for the copper." "What copper?" "And this is the bloke who likes to dress up you say?" "Not judging, Daddy, just saying." "Well, do you think you can find Dai or not?" "They don't call me Sniffer Dog Glover for nothing." "Oh." "Lovely bit of business." "Well done, Lukey boy." "Just warming up, in't I?" "Well, keep some of that sparkle back for this, yeah?" "What is it?" "Cross Valley Amateur Boxing Championships over at Black Hill." "Come in then, lads, let's see who's up against who." "Reggie... you're taking on Damo." "Nice one." "Unlucky, Si, you got Tony the Cheese." "Oooh." "Read it and weep, Lukey boy." "Don't be a muppet, Len." "Luke's only just started." "Choose again, sunshine." "Nah, leave it, Rae." "I can take him on, no sweat." "Oh, really?" "Bring it, but!" "Consider it brung." "But!" "I'm sorry, I'm on my lunch I..." "What d'you want?" "To know what this is all about?" "!" "Where d'you get that?" "!" "Let's just say it found its way into the hands of my silent partner." "You got a silent partner?" "I got a lot of things you don't know about Alan Williams." "Primarily a head for business." "Now, this little stunt of yours has caused my partner to question whether the rugby pitch build is good for the community." "To worry about the ethics behind the deal." "And as we all know, ethics have no place in business." "So I want you to cease and desist with this nonsense." "Got it?" "I don't think so." "Don't you push me on this, Alan!" "You know you don't like me when I've been pushed!" "Hello?" "Anyone in?" "Mr Kosh?" "You dead or you having a kip?" "!" "All right!" "All right!" "Keep your pants on!" "Sorry, I thought you was my dad..." "I ain't complaining." "Sounds like you been under the cosh, Mr Kosh." "It certainly felt like it." "Being chucked on the skip ain't easy, I can tell you." "Skip?" "Skip of life, innit?" "My wife don't want me no more, see." "We're going to counselling but it ain't no use." "It's like a part of me's gone." "Like having your arm cut off, it is." "Or your leg?" "A thigh even?" "Basically... a very... large... limb." "I actually come here to talk, believe it or not." "Go on." "I'm all ears." "Look, I reckon you should take Big Rae's advice and pick someone else to fight with, OK?" "Oh, you afraid I'll get these pretty little lips hurt, are you?" "Believe me, I ain't interested in your lips." "Now just do it, OK?" "It's fine, man" " I'm twice his size for a start." "Aye, and that's why he plays dirty - proper vicious like, the moron." "If he's such a moron, why d'you stay with him then?" "Mam?" "!" "Under the covers quick!" "Mam, you here?" "You didn't pack my trainers!" "Oh, my God - you're still in bed!" "What?" "Shit, what time is it?" "I reckon you're definitely depressed." "I'm gonna have to cheer you up then, aren't I?" "Well, that was er..." "Interesting?" "Praise be!" "She found you!" "What?" "Oh, yeah, overslept, sorry, Aunty Bren." "Look at the state!" "Did you have an outburst or a psychotic episode?" "!" "Something like that." "Right, well you'll be wanting that choux bun more than ever then?" "D'you mind if we leave it this week, Aunty Brenda?" "I'm a bit off my food I am." "Well, all right, as long as you don't go getting no eating disorder." "Manic depressives I can handle." "But anorexics?" "I won't give them the time of day." "S'long." "What do you think?" "Well, you weren't lying, that's for sure." "We need a couple of new desks - what are you like at flat packs cos I'm useless?" "IKEA's a four-letter-word to you, innit, Rob?" "Oh, he's on form today." "I might be." "Can I ask you something?" "What?" "Well, there's a rumour going round that you been seeing" "Melissa" " Big Alan's ex." "Oh, for God's sake, this town..." "I mean it's your business, like, but what happened to all the hearts and flowers stuff with my mother?" "I thought you were meant to be chasing after her?" "It's complicated." "So you're going out with Melissa instead?" "No!" "Look." "If I tell you something about Melissa, you've got to promise me you'll keep it to yourself." "Sorry, I got to answer this a minute." "Hey, gorgeous." "Well, I'm with my old man at the moment." "When am I gonna see you?" "Oh, come on, don't do this to me!" "Namaste." "Nama-what?" "It's from my new Mindful Meditation book off Pesch." "Me and Dai are seeing him tomorrow so I'm boning up on it like." "It means a respectful greeting, apparently." "How come I didn't get one this morning then?" "Cos you didn't deserve it!" "Ooh, nice display." "Completely made out of roses." "Classy." "Yeah, well, try telling Bobby that." "Nothing I do, do hold a candle to you, apparently." "Ey, d'you get my text about Dai?" "He been found, thank God." "Aye, in his house." "Honest to God, talk about mountain out of a mole hill." "It's your house as well, not just his." "No, it's not." "I don't live there no more, Stell." "It's like my meditation book says - "You gotta live in the now."" "And right now I've moved out, moved on." "Maybe it's time Dai did the same?" "At Pontyberry constabulary, we always like to do a follow up visit." "All right, butty, where we off to then?" "Currys?" "Dixons?" "Ebbo Electronicals?" "Forget about it." "Eh?" "But your mam said you needed bobbles for your iPad?" "iPod!" "And they're speakers not bobbles!" "All right, all right, keep cool, Kojak." "Sorry." "Top work, Stell." "You sure Paula wouldn't have done it better?" "Actually I'm starting to like things the Stella way." "Oh, my God!" "It's Gwyn Thomas from Thomas, Thomas, Evans and Thomas." "And Thomas." "And Thomas." "What the hell is he doing here?" "!" "Problem, Bobby Jean?" "This is plot 447 I take it?" "Mmm-hmm." "Then it's mine!" "Well, Geppetto Ferrero's." "Excuse me, that hole is mine!" "Well, Tom the Taff's." "Tom the Taff's?" "!" "The old barman up Top House - spoke ancient Welsh." "Aye, accept when he swore." "I know who he is, thank you!" "I also know that this is not his hole." "Stella booked it Monday, didn't you, Stell?" "And did Stell confirm the booking within 24 hours?" "If you don't confirm it goes back on the vacant list." "Of course she did, didn't you?" "Did you?" "Well, why d'you have to confirm a grave hole?" "Because, my love, some people pull through." "Look, Bobby Jean, all I know is I booked and confirmed the hole - hence it's mine!" "Hence it's bloody not!" "Oh, hence off!" "Steady." "Top idea, Daddy." "Happy to let the widows decide?" "I'm terribly sorry, but we seem to have double-booked your grave." "Oh, my God, it's like Braveheart!" "Argh!" "Stop!" "Can everybody stop throwing mud!" "This is you, Bobby Jean!" "It's all you!" "This is your fault, Gwyneth!" "Your fault." "Your fault!" "Stop throwing mud!" "Right, like that is it, good girl?" "Go on then... tell your mam." "Tell me what?" "Hiya!" "All right?" "Check out my business card, Mam!" "Our business card, thank you very much!" "And I'm getting my own desk..." "When he builds it." "And a swivel chair!" "Everything all right?" "No, it's bloody not!" "Never mind your poncey swivel chair." "My son is being bullied." "Ben?" "It's just this idiot in my form, Jacob Hillman." "He called me names, that's all." "Gaylord, bummer boy, knob jockey!" "All cos he was practicing his moves for Got To Dance." "It's not right!" "Names is no big deal, man." "And so what if you are gay, it's not the end of the world is it?" "!" "Mam!" "I'm not gay." "OK!" "Ignore it, Benny Boy, he'll soon get bored." "He also stole my iPod with the dance music on." "No way!" "The little tosser!" "Exactly." "I'm thinking of taking Dai Ceps round his house tomorrow." "Put the shits up the whole family." "Karl!" "You can't do that." "Well, you come round with me then, Stell or I'm getting the fuzz in." "The fuzz?" "What's this 1976?" "These are kids." "Don't worry, presh, I'll go round after work and get it - even if I have to ransack the little git's bedroom myself." "Er, that's a not good idea either." "Well, it's one or the other, but!" "Look, why don't I go with Karl?" "Help keep things civil - a bit more, erm, dispassionate?" "Really?" "What?" "!" "That'd be brilliant, Rob." "I'm up to my eyes in it at work." "We can be good cop, bad cop." "So we are getting the fuzz in now?" "Oh, stop saying fuzz!" "I'll get it." "Zoe?" "I've left him." "The tosser." "What's going on?" "!" "Lenny's back on the pills again, I know he is." "And when he's out of it, he gets mental." "And I can't have Jack around him like that, I can't." "Come on, let's get in." "Namaste, Peschman." "Namaste, Paula." "All right, Dai?" "All right?" "Well done." "Someone's been reading the literature I gave them." "Haven't I just?" "Been meditating, reading LOADS of books." "I gone mindfulness mad I have." "I don't even know what it is." "Mindfulness is all about living in the moment - not droning on about what could've been." "I don't drone." "It's not droning so much." "Yeah, you do." "And while you've been wallowing in the past," "I have been living in the future - cos the future is now." "That's a good book, innit, Pesch?" "Very." "Like today literally I have been breathing and growing and becoming more and more enlightened - spiritually, like - just through the power of meditation." "What you been doing, Dai?" "Shagging a copper." "How's he doing?" "Well, it's only to be expected, innit?" "And he was doing so well running this place." "I'm right here you know." "I can hear you!" "Sorry, my love." "Look what Aunty Brenda brought you." "He's not ill, Bren." "Yet!" "I'm not ill yet." "It's a wonder I'm not what with all this stress!" "I could be dead if I'm not careful - everyone knows the Ferreros put sheeps' heads into people's beds!" "Oh, come on, Bobs, look I'm sorry I messed up, really I am, but all this crying over split milk ain't gonna help." "Oh, well, pardon me if I'm over-reacting, Stell, but you aren't the one being held responsible for putting two prominent figures of the community back in the chest freezer till further notice!" "No movement then?" "None." "Them spaces in the chapel graveyard are like gold dust this time of year." "And Nana Cymru is up for assault, battery and threatening use of a floral display." "Oh, what am I gonna do?" "!" "D'you mind if I go?" "It's just that I gotta get down the shops." "It's like Mother Hubbard's round mine at the moment." "And we got another, well... house guest shall we say." "S'long!" "So don't be cramping my style, right?" "I said I won't and I won't." "We're a team, me and you, yeah?" "Bodie and Doyle, Dempsey and Makepiece." "Oh, Richard and Judy?" "You really don't get this, do you?" "You Jacob Hillman?" "Yeah?" "You little piece of..." "Karl!" "We'd like to see your parents, please, Jacob." "Cramping already, but!" "He's 14!" "You can't have a go!" "Says who?" "Good talking to he needs." "You wait till I see this pair I'm gonna wipe..." "Can I help?" "Hi." "You Jacob's dad?" "Yes." "Perhaps your son is simply acting out?" "Calling Ben names is potentially a sign that he's struggling to come terms with your situation?" "I said this, didn't I say this, Dar?" "You did, Leon." "I'm sure he doesn't have a problem with the whole gay thing... it's just a case of bully or be bullied." "And by using the one thing people can use against him he's effectively reclaiming it." "You're so right, Rob." "He is so right isn't he." "Dar?" "He is." "He's bang on, isn't he, Karl?" "Aye." "Bang on, Rob." "Paula?" "Earth to Paula?" "!" "Anyone in?" "Paula!" "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there." "Are you back on the booze?" "No." "Are you tired?" "You're tired, ain't you?" "It's not that." "Was I snoring last night?" "I'll get some of them strips for my nose." "I'm not tired, OK!" "Well, something's up, cos you haven't been this spaced out since we ate them magic mushrooms on Barry Island in '83!" "WPC Glover?" "She don't look the type." "Well, she'll have a piece of my mind when I see her I can tell you." "Taking advantage of my brother like that." "I doubt he needed much persuading." "Look, the way I see it is this." "You know, you've made your bed." "So yeah you gotta lie in it." "But!" "I reckon you can still change the pillowcases and the sheets if you want to." "Put the past couple of months behind you and ask Dai back!" "Oh, God!" "How can I after everything I've done?" "I'm gonna look like a right loser." "Well... yeah, but that's OK." "No, it's not!" "Besides, going back's never a good idea - look what happened with you and Rob?" "That dickhead come back, he ruined everything with you and Sean." "And to top it all off, now he's going out with Melissa!" "So?" "I don't care!" "Good luck to them, I say." "What are these again?" ""Zuchen-Bider-Phunf."" "Gotta love Lidl." "Haven't you?" "Thanks again." "Pleasure." "See you then." "Yeah." "Ta-ra." "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you got a good one there, babe." "Er, ta for helping out, but." "You was well good in there." "No problem." "I'm sorry for thinking you was a jumped-up twat." "Cheers." "No, I mean, it's just... cos you went away like," "I reckoned you thought you was better than us lot round here." "And you're not." "The compliments just keep coming." "Sorry, what I meant was..." "I know what you meant." "Here you go, Ben." "I don't think Jacob Hillman'll be bothering you anytime soon." "Cheers, Rob, that's brilliant!" "Nice one, Dad!" "Charm the birds out of the trees you can." "Apparently not all the birds." "D'you wanna come and see mine and Al's Got to Dance audition Saturday afternoon?" "Everyone else is." "Well, er..." "It's down Cardiff at two." "Great." "I've got a meeting just beforehand but I'll make sure I get there." "We're dancing to Professor Green, it's gonna be awesome!" "And if we win we're gonna use the cash to save the rugby pitch." "That's my boy." "You can bring your girlfriend Melissa if you like?" "Oh, will you give it a rest?" "She's a married woman for God's sake and she's not my bloody girlfriend!" "So why am I always seeing you together then?" "Because..." "Yeah?" "It's a work thing." "OK?" "I'm trying to make as many business contacts as I can before I go back." "It's called networking." "Ooh, slightly in danger of patronising me there, Rob!" "Sorry." "I'm more worried about them to be honest." "Yeah." "But I suppose if two people are meant to be together then things'll find a way of working out." "What, like you and Melissa you mean?" "Oh, shut up." "No, you shut up with your psychobabble - you're like Lorraine Kelly!" "Aw!" "Oh, well, here we go - Braveheart the sequel." "I don't know what you're talking about, Stella." "Everything's absolutely hunky dory multistorey." "He isn't on the antidepressants, is he?" "Cos they're a bugger to come off." "Smiler Davis have had a right potch." "Actually, I'm high on life." "Why?" "Because, as you're about to witness, I have solved the small problem of the double-booking fiasco caused by your incompetence." "Oi!" "You!" "I wanna word!" "I got nothing to say to you, but." "That right is it?" "Maybe this'll make you talk..." "Oi!" "Cool it, sunshine!" "What's up, Lenny?" "I thought hitting girls was more your thing." "I've never laid a finger on her." "Not yet." "I know she's round your fucking place!" "Yeah and that's where she'll be staying from now on." "Don't bank on it, loverboy." "Give her a couple of days, she always comes crawling back." "I got ways of making that little bitch do what I want." "Save it for the fight, son." "Fight?" "More like annihilation." "They're both in there?" "Yep." "But how d'you convince them to share?" "Well, there was a bit of too-ing a fro-ing about whose was the headstone and whose was the footstone." "But then we thought there's two heads so there can be two headstones." "And voila." "All sorted." "Yeah, but how'd you manage to get Gwyn faceache to agree to it?" "Oh, you'd be surprised what a quiet word and bottle of Lambrini can achieve in the world of death and despatch management." "There you go." "Dad, our dance is ace, we ain't gonna lose and the prize money's massive." "And we'll pay for the lease then, for the rugby pitch." "That's great." "Thanks." "So is your mam taking you down Cardiff or me?" "You." "Mam can't come." "She got some big meeting aparently." "You what?" "!" "When?" "!" "Where?" "!" "Up Theodore's." "At two I think." "That's why she can't come." "Well, it all worked in the end then." "Phew!" "So it did." "No, thanks to you." "Oh, just face it my love, the Stella way of doing things is rubbish." "You cheeky bugger!" "I never asked for the job - I was doing you a favour!" "Yeah, well, you shouldn't have bothered." "Well, I wish I never had now, you big mincing stiff stuffer!" "I do not stuff stiffs!" "Yes you do and you do LOVE it." "Sorry, Daddy." "Sorry." "Oh, my God!" "I can't believe I've been such an idiot!" "Really?" "Yes!" "And now my Dai's gone off with that stinking pig of a pig!" "Eh, Language!" "Oh, give it a rest, good girl!" "Well, that's very sympathetic that is." "Don't mind her, Palls - she's just sore cos I sacked her." "You didn't sack me I resigned!" "And anyway I'm glad to be out of the dead body business if you must know." "It's well hard." "He's a case, in't he?" "Oh, he's mental." "By here!" "By here!" "We saved you a spot." "Oh, my life - it's Davina!" "She do look a lot darker in the flesh, don't she?" "Skin tone like?" "No, her hair." "I find her very fair on Britain's Got Talent." "That's Amanda Holden, you moron!" "Hiya!" "What time d'you make it?" "About 12:30." "All right?" "Not really, no." "Look, Stell, I gotta be somewhere else right now." "And it's mega important." "Cover for me will you?" "Tell the boy I thought he did cracking but my guts were playing up or whatever." "What's this all about, Al?" "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no answers." "Just bring him home, yeah?" "Yeah, of course." "But..." "I'm gonna say hello to Ashley Banjo, you coming?" "So you see, Robert, far from damaging the community it's actually going to strengthen it." "But the public support still isn't there." "You've seen the campaign posters - the whole town's up in arms." "Well, they may pretend they are against it, but deep down, any sane person would see this for what it is - an exciting project that will bring much needed homes, jobs and regeneration to the area." "And face it, the town is dead." "The factories are shut." "The mines are history." "There are very few shelves left to stack." "This development could change all that." "And it's a bloody good deal, if I do say so myself." "I'm not in this for the money, Melissa." "As a business-person I find that hard to believe." "Look, I'm doing it for my son." "OK?" "Very commendable." "I'm serious - something like this could set Luke up for good." "But I don't want to alienate half the town - including his mother in the process." "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs." "Hearts more like." "She'll thank you in the long run." "Will she?" "OK." "What happens next?" "All right, Zo?" "!" "Grubs up!" "I wasn't sure what you liked so I got the lot" " Hawaiian, Meat Feast and Margarita!" "What's going on?" "I'm going back to Lenny." "Please don't make a scene, Luke, the baby's asleep upstairs." "But..." "I don't understand." "Look, he's threatened to take Jack away if I don't." "I know how mental he is, especially on the pills - he've done it before." "I've gotta go." "Hey, calm down, baby Jack ain't going nowhere - we can work through this, Zoe." "I promise." "She's going on stage." "She's going on stage." "I walked in there and he's doing her see in my house..." "Wow." "That's amazing." "Paula!" "Hiya." "Mr Banjo doesn't wanna hear about that." "He's a very busy celebrity what with his judging and dancing." "I'm actually a dancer myself." "I choreographed the boys for today." "I studied under Megan Tippins?" "She was in CATS?" "Runs the Tinsel Tip Toes School for Stars in Upper Cwm Bryn." "Never heard of her." "God - stop interrupting my story!" "The things is, Ash, it's all gone to cock!" "Stella?" "Where's my dad?" "Well, the thing is, love, his guts were..." "Shagging a bird somewhere!" "Dressed as Tonto." "They're all the same!" "What?" "!" "What the hell are you doing here?" "I'm here to put a spanner in the works, that's what!" "Are you insane, Alan?" "No!" "If this silent partner of yours has already had cold feet once, you wait till I tell 'em how much this sale is gonna affect the community." "It may sound good on paper but it don't work for the people." "He'll soon reconsider." "Well, thankfully you just missed him." "What...?" "!" "Sorry to disappoint but my spread sheets worked a treat." "In fact he's itching to get started on the build now." "Unlucky, but." "That's what I'm talking about!" "Woo-woo-woo-woo!" "Well, boys, it was a good effort." "But, it wasn't good enough." "Nowhere near in fact." "Cheeky bastard!" "Aye, you weren't no great shakes when you was in Adversity!" "It was Diversity, actually." "And look, let's not get personal." "I'm just here to give my professional opinion." "And, boys, it was a little bit..." "Well, that's nice, isn't it - having a pop at kids on national television!" "Yeah." "You may be absolutely, unbelievably drop dead gorgeous," "Mr Banjo, but I have witnessed another side to you today, good boy!" "You haven't seen the last of these boys I'm telling you!" "They are going places with their dancing." "And if you don't want 'em then Cowell will!" "Yes!" "Thank you." "I'm sorry, mate, I don't speak Welsh." "How dare you insult my father!" "He has never spoken Welsh in his life!" "You stuck up little..." "Get hold of him, Daddy!" "I honestly think the police would've taken Paula into custody if you hadn't been there." "And Daddy." "He had a right grip on Ashley's hair, didn't he?" "Like a vice." "Hey, boys, you know what they say, it's not the winning it's the taking part that counts." "No it's not, it's about the winning." "They didn't actually think they were gonna win though, did they?" "Maybe." "They just really wanna help the cause, bless 'em." "But... it's just a rugby pitch." "Whereas this development" " I should imagine - it'll bring all sorts to the town." "Jobs and money and security..." "What do you care?" "You're a bloody Canadian!" "Seems like a wasted opportunity that's all." "You been away too long, presh." "Rugby's a way of life round 'ere." "Don't worry." "We won't let the bastards beat us." "We shall overcome and all that." "Thanks for the lift." "He was supposed to be telling her today." "Telling Emma that we're having an affair." "I have applied through the courts for custody of Little Alan." "Over my dead body." "In the Blue Corner" " Luke Morgan!" "Concentrate on the fight, OK?" "I'm gonna take your fucking head off!"