"Previously on "The Magicians"... whose house is this exactly?" "Dad." " You know how I feel about Mom." " Fine." "Stephanie." "I just feel like I'm being pulled back 12 and furious and invisible and mute. huh?" "There are other options." "You can travel to Fillory." "get this." "I'll do what I can." "You may address me as Reynard the Fox." "Reynard is targeting hedges. she banished Reynard from Earth." "I still don't know what I'm looking for." "Any sort of strange event or aberration." " The test was positive." " Fuck!" "so let's just get this pesky abortion out of the way." "Kady!" "a proud soldier of Fillorians United." "I'm not a Fu Fighter anymore. and tell him exactly how well I know his wife." "Then I'll tell him myself." "What is she doing?" "She can't." "She'll niffin out." "Your turn." " Quentin says go free." " Alice!" "Um..." "Remind me again what summoning Alice's niffin has to do with the... ballet." "Ooh." "he should never do that move again." "It's niffin bait." "You have to call to them at their point of their transformation with something personal." "Oh..." "It's a sex thing." "it's Cirque Du Soleil." "You know Cirque Du Soleil?" "You and Alice had sex to Cirque Du Soleil?" "it was something I would do to cheer her up when she was sad." "It made her laugh." "Ugh." "That just made my heart hurt a little." " Shut up." " I was being sincere." "Does he have the box?" "what if this actually works?" "he wants to try to reason with her." "She was working on some sort of reversal spell." "He thinks he can somehow finish it." "He's convinced she wants him to." "Jesus." "I'm starting over." "stop." "If Alice was still a niffin..." "if she was still here..." "You've been at this an hour." "because she's gone." "It's just I saw her... it felt so real." "huh?" "some food." "there's an entire kingdom's-worth of problems to distract you." "and could use your help." "vamanos." "Her memorial is tomorrow." "I should go and look her parents in the eye... tell them how she died." "And then... and I'll be a king." "I promise. you're a little crazy right now." "but yeah." "♪ ♪" "the sacrifice." "the plinth is in the backyard." "watch the rug." "Daniel... and still..." "I see something that Alice touched." "My children loved me." "you were." " So much better than my mother." " Of cour..." "What have I done to deserve this?" "hi." "Alice?" "♪ ♪" "Alice..." "Are you really there?" "♪ ♪" "Okay." "♪ ♪" "You're kind of freaking me out." "so... ♪ ♪" "Okay." "♪ ♪" "I can't." "Okay." "okay..." "No." "Eliot and Margo are right." "You're... and you're a little crazy." "♪ ♪" "Or not." "♪ ♪" "Alice." "♪ ♪ okay?" "♪ ♪" "Quentin?" "Is that you?" "Mr. Q... or Daniel." "Sorry." "Give me a hug." "How on earth did you get into my private study?" "Uh... something going on." "Yeah." "got it. and this is an emergency." "please?" " Hey." " Hey." "I mixed up your dose." "It's on the counter." "To all the heroine I am not taking." "Cheers." " Mm." " Did you get the pickles?" "Yep." "You found something." "7:00 a.m." "An unseasonal hailstorm hit the Northeast." "right?" "a tidal wave slammed into Miami." "hurricanes struck both the coasts" "Chile. and if you follow the chain reaction back to its source..." "New Jersey?" "New Jersey. this happened." "Industrial park burned to the ground. or why it left one single building standing untouched with a perfect circle of burn around it." "Thank you." "Mm." "Mm-hmm." "Next." "thank you." "It's about that Fu Fighter in the dungeon." "What the actual all-encompassing fuck is this?" "you said you wanted" " a unicorn milk latte." " I was joking." "you milked a unicorn?" "about Bayler... the walking plot twist returns." "I need something." " Shocker." "look who it is." "Uncy Penny." "I knocked her up." "No big deal." "congratulations? thanks." "We're thrilled." "Uh... could you give us please?" "so I'm here..." " I heard... you heard..." "Alice." "I know you two were close." "Please shut up." "I am trying to ask if you are okay." "Are you okay?" "Okay." "I need to know where your Dicranium Scoparium Majorus grows." "Are you having a seizure?" "Moss?" "Why?" "Fix my hands." "You got a royal botanist or something? but apparently he sort of got eaten on the job." "By what?" "A... a plant?" "I hate this place." "Try the royal map-maker." "Love ya." "So she's only shown herself to me that I know of." "I don't know." "Maybe I'm tuned into or... maybe it has something to do with this." "I don't know." " I believe you." " You do?" "I know my daughter." "She's trying to protect us." "Seeing her like that would be... but she led you to this for a reason." "Alice called a couple of months ago about some ghost children trapped in an estate in England." "that's the one. but then... you see the ancients had many ways of dealing with ghosts out of necessity back then. but it can be." "one ancient civilization that really mastered the whole getting-one's- soul-to-rest thing..." "The Egyptians." "are you seeing that Alice wants us to build..." "Ecce." "In pyramis." "my God." "What's going on?" "Just another day in the office?" "♪ ♪ the much-venerated Emissaries of our neighbors to the north." "I present Prince Ess of Loria." "I'm sorry..." "Princess?" "call me Ess." "Prince Ess." "dude." "We got a problem." "You guys have been fucking shit up" " for over half a century." " Okay." " This is how Lorians talk?" " And look..." "The Prince speaks fluent Earth." "Cincinn-ah-ti." "Until The Beast drained the Wellspring." "yeah... you jokers let Ember take a dump..." "Get to your point. but now their magic's jacked." "Not enough." "entire species are affected." " You dicked us over." " No." "so... then this should be easy." "I'm here to propose a treaty between our two kingdoms." "A 50/50 split of the Wellspring. offer my hand in marriage to the Virgin Queen Margo." "Um... okay." "let me." "thank you." "We will consider your generous offer." "please. so why don't you walk yourself and your un-ironic furs out of my castle?" "All right then." "Plan B. Ilario!" " Seriously?" "A wand?" " Guards!" "okay?" "I'll make it worth your while if you just show me I'll draw your map for you next Thurs..." "Shit." "this is bad." "This is very bad." "Are you fucking kidding me?" "Do you understand that castle's full of people?" "Do you understand there isn't a single accurate map of this entire place now?" "What the..." "Shit is radioactive." "welcome to Loria." "♪ ♪" "You kidnapped our castle? as soon as you come around to my offer." "So many hostages." "I wouldn't try anything if I were you." "Guards?" "Dungeon." "hang here." "Shit." "okay. - and I'll find someone who can..." " What?" " Travel here and help?" " Yes." "Q took the button to some godforsaken 'burb." "you're not leaving me in a castle full of barbarian frat bros. you could've been a little diplomatic." "By agreeing to marry a complete stranger on the spot?" "I did it." "That was different." "this would only really be equivalent and now it's all Thai food forever till you die. who seems arrogant and entitled and unclear on the concept of consent." "I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong." "I'm not saying do it." "It's just..." "You're a queen." "I'm a king." "We don't necessarily marry for love." "It's part of the job. but only to negotiate us out of this epic clusterfuck." "I'm staying a virgin." "everything burned down except this building." "Wait a minute." "Here." "Okay." "No way is this sigil 40 years old." "hardly anything stays hot that long." "except blood." "Human blood." "it's the DNA of right?" "Yeah." " How long does it take?" " It should work right away." "It's been decades." "whoever did the banishing could be dead by now." "They're... they're probably dead." "it's her." "It... it's my mom's contact." "okay?" "I gotta go." "She can help with the baby situation." "Hello?" "The "pyramides" of Giza provide an excellent blueprint... the one Khufu built to house valiantly slain in battle." "here." "uh... let's not bring Stephanie into this just yet." "It's too much for her." "I thought maybe you'd wanna hear about no..." "A blood relative must coax the spirit with a bit of mirror magic. paint a True Image of the deceased with my words." "But first... hang the mirror." "memorize this." "Egyptian Arabic." "Eh?" "Okay... my Egyptian Arabic is a little rusty. don't let the mirror shatter." "I've already enchanted it." "we've only got one shot." "I think that you should do it." " You... you do it." " No." "and we only have one shot... just... you." "Yeah." "Give me a minute with this." "my God." "There you are." "Who are you?" "Why did you follow me?" "Hi." "My name is Julia." "I need your help." "It's Reynard." "He's back." " How?" " I... it's a long story." "It was a mistake." "I'm sorry." "I'm..." "I..." "I..." "I cannot help you." "I am pregnant." "♪ ♪ the thing will never be born." "I don't care if I have to jump off a building." "But I cannot let him do this to another woman." "You banished him once." "All I am asking is for you to teach me how to do it." "♪ ♪" "I think you better come inside." "shit." "♪ ♪" "Well..." "Alanis Morissette." "but why..." "I've always had a terrible fear of heights." "Alanis Morissette got stuck on the roof. because sometimes that is what one does when one is ashamed." "And the cat... did not end well." "I don't know if Alice ever forgave me for not being brave enough." "Maybe she will now." "you don't have to do that." "I can do it." "I can do it." "For Alice." "Voila." "Oh..." "Whoa." "Daniel." "right?" " And then they came across." " Whoo." "Hey!" "Are you kidding me?" "Rhaffat jaras." "Jaras!" "So... when's the wedding? I'm willing to grant you periodic access to the Wellspring..." "You think this is a negotiation?" "no treaty... no castle back." "let me explain to you how marriage works where I come from." "spare me." "I know." "My mother shipped me off to Exeter when I was 16." "You?" "Fancy New England boarding school?" "Had a dorm full of future senators convinced I was an exchange student from Iceland." "Point is I get it." "I'm shockingly progressive for a Lorian." "I'd still let you speak in public." "I'm not marrying you." "You think I wanna marry a virgin?" "my God." "I'm not a virgin. - and Lorians are the best..." " Hm." "So either way... sweetheart. and I'm certain that I can bang circles I master it." "And you've mastered what?" "Never touching a man?" "touching..." "I'm good at both." "you want me to stop?" "or I'll stop." "Don't stop." "Beg me." "I like you." "So you waited until now to tell me about you and Bayler?" "I've been trying to tell you." "It's been a little insane today." "I'm not trying to keep secrets from you." "please understand." "I had a life before you came." "I had no idea if you even would come." "and I care about it." " So you became a terrorist?" " We're not violent." "I'd call your ex-boyfriend trying to strangle me" " a little bit violent!" " He's not my... but hurting people was never the plan." " I have no idea who you are." " I'm your wife." " Because your father made you." " I could've walked out of here" " a long time ago." " Then why didn't you?" "If you hate us so much..." "if you hate me so much..." " why didn't you?" " Because I don't. because you're just so deeply attracted to me?" "I am a realist who wants you to succeed." "I want us to." "So what am I supposed to do huh?" "You should keep him there." "I don't think you can trust him." "Do you think I can trust you?" "I was 21." "It didn't seem so crazy back then to think do good." "that's what I wanted too." "I couldn't get rid of the baby either." "What? but I was the only one who got pregnant." " So what did you do?" " I tried everything. but I couldn't go through with it." "You had it?" "I'd rather die." "Julia." "I can't banish Reynard again... but you can." "Where's your cat?" "he's around here somewhere." "Come on." "Follow me." "♪ ♪ honey." "So sorry about this." "Ms. Hansen." "you have ten minutes to complete your midterm." "Midterm?" "But... but I haven't studied." "and I'm dead." "Forgot your clothes too?" "Typical." "Margo?" "Hey... whoa!" " I swear I was gonna study." " What?" "it's... it's me." "It's actually me." "God." "I'm asleep." "you must not be in imminent danger wherever you are." "along with the entire castle." "there's a crater." " Where are you?" " Loria." "Some canyon with these purple-ish rock things." "okay?" "They look like dicks." "full-sail or half?" "it's a variety pack out there." "I got it." "I'll find you." "if you ever tell anyone you saw this..." "I'd never." "uh..." "I'd much rather have you owe me huge." "Scouring the room for a weapon?" "that's all." "It's called resting bitch face." "The Cock Barrens of Loria." "Okay." "Show me where." "There." "Right there." "I know this isn't gonna make anything any better." "I want you know that Alice died a hero." "hmm?" "You'd rather break both of your legs than have a conversation with me about this." "I can't stand to think about it. get me a tall glass of whatever looks strongest." "You're on a lot of painkillers." "My daughter is dead." "Let me guess... because I'm too crazy right now." "Come on." "We gonna finish this or what?" "Yeah." "What... what are..." "What is that?" "Don't be scared." "okay? but you're going to have that baby." "What? but that little demigod growing inside of you is like a tiny nuclear reactor." "You have one chance to harness that power when you give birth. while in labor with his child." "No!" "Not your choice anymore." "Thank you." "I would never ever do business with them if I had a choice." "Maminke." "You don't want to wind up like your mother." "Thanks." "This is Julia." "Leave a message." "Shit." "This place is warded up the ass." "Shit." "♪ ♪ thank you?" "aren't you?" "would it be like..." "That's not my baby." " That's my Haxenpaxen." " What?" "My Haxenpaxen." "I caught it." "but just imagine what it's giving off magically." "Not even a trickster can find us." "We're invisible while we're near him." "Do have to occasionally stock up on food though." "I suppose." " So if that's not your child..." " My child is safe." "He'll never know who he really is." "He doesn't even know who I am." "I made sure of it." "It's for the best." "Julia." "An influential man." "♪ ♪" "Kady!" "Your magic is no good here." "Oh!" "What?" "what's with Stink-master Flash?" "Free him too." "He's coming with us." "Must've been some negotiation." "Say I did marry him... forget what I said." "This whole marriage thing is absurd." "You have no idea who the other person is. - have her killed." " I can't." "We just made a human together." "And the worst is between the whole lying back I started to actually like her." "what's going on?" "One life-altering crisis at a time." "What do you wanna do about the princess?" "It's your choice." "I just want what's best for you." "Hey!" "I went to the exact spot." "No castle... nothing there." " It has to be some other dongs." " There are no more dongs." "That's the only spot the castle could be." "it doesn't make any sense unless..." "♪ ♪ please don't let me be wrong about this." "You guys have been so royally fucked with." "You won't believe where you've been this whole time." "Okay." "okay?" "you have to tell the truth." "Quentin." " Relax." " Okay." "Oh..." "Alice... she needed a strong female role model." "She was so lucky to have me for that." "You have to tell the truth." "But that is the truth." "Alice was complicated." "She never figured out how to be a woman." "That's not the truth... not for Alice." "Don't be ridiculous." "This is just Alice up to her usual tricks." "She was always so hard on me." "This is not about you." "Will you just for once in your life put yourself in your daughter's shoes?" "What do you want me to say?" "That I never understood her?" "And that I never really tried?" "I didn't know having a daughter would be this hard." "I resented her sometimes." "I..." " I j..." "I just need a minute." " No." " I..." " No." "we've gotta finish it." "Stephanie!" "Ugh." "♪ ♪" "Idiot." "I cast a niffin summoning and you didn't come." "How?" "Why?" "You're wrong." "I was right there." "Quentin. just like we did with my parents." "I killed you." "My cacodemon..." "Your cacodemon wasn't powerful enough to kill me." "but when it saw that it couldn't win... let's just say it stuffed me in a place most convenient." "That stupid tattoo trap on your back." "We're stuck with each other." "God." "no." "♪ ♪" "God." "Too slow." "Sorry." "Dana... in the flesh." "I'd heard you were dead." "You hid well." "I'm impressed." "What happened?" "You slipped up." "I think you have some apologizing to do." "Don't you?" "♪ ♪" "I have reached my decision. on one condition." "I want a tour of his kingdom right now." "♪ ♪ then a tour." "♪ ♪ and done." "no." "No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no." "This is the worst day of my life." "right?" "Crazy illusion magic." "what do you think about making that..." "Map." " You drew it for me." " Yes." "I made an exception." "Thank you." "man." " I heard that." "please." "he did." "sister." "And now we're gonna put our Jimmy Choos you're gonna taste next season." "whatever that means." "Because the High King and I hereby declare war on the kingdom of Loria." "Yes!" "Wait..." "Really?"