"Previously on Childrens Hospital:" "Well, your daughter has twenty-twenty vision but it's actually your eyes I'm concerned about." "What shade of awesome are those things?" "Because I am drowning, girl." " See this mark on the ulterior colon?" " Mm-hm." "It moves here, then here." " Are you trying to...?" " Yes." "This poop chute is haunted." "My best friend, Dr. Lola Spratt..." " ... is dead." " I want a dinosaur doctor." "He's got the rarest case of advanced aging disease I've ever seen." " Hi." " You had sex with my son?" "What?" "You prefer I have sex near or above your son?" "My private practice went out of business today." "It's okay." "I'm sure Childrens Hospital will take me back." "The end." "Soon it will be the end." " But not yet." " Hey." "Aren't you Cat's boyfriend's mother?" "Yeah, I was." "But after he died, I got a job here as a nurse." "He died?" " Aahh!" " We gotta go." "She's losing blood." " That baby's coming fast!" " Cat." "Right now, it's the opposite of the end." "The actual end begins about a week ago." "My boyfriend Nicky's advanced aging disease is getting worse." "Is he staying active?" "I play mahjongg every morning with the girls at the home." "And on Tuesdays, there's a live one-man band." "Ha-cha!" "Nicky's dementia is getting worse too." "It's hard to tell what's senility and what's normal 6-year-old behavior." "Plus, I think he's a little retarded." "So let's just call a spade a spade, okay?" "I'm only doing this so that we can have a little privacy." "I can read lips." "I hear that you're considering not keeping the baby." "I hear that you're a crazy cat lady." "Nicky's in no condition to give support, and what if the disease is hereditary?" " That makes good sense." " Hats make good tents." "This confusing confusion about whether to keep the baby has me so confused." "Cat, you have to stop thinking about yourself." "You have to think about Nicky right now." "He is in pain." "Nicky will die very soon." "Cat, you have to stop tinkling on the shelf." "You have to start thinking about sticky icky icky now." "The rain in Spain." "Nicky will die very soon." "Wait, what?" "Hold on." "Come here." "Come here." "Wait." "What are you doing?" "Well, sorry." " Didn't you and Lola have a thing?" " Didn't Ebola have a Rin Tin Tin?" "Didn't you and Lola have a thing?" "Didn't Ebola have a Rin Tin Tin?" "Didn't Ebola have a Rin Tin Tin?" "No." "Lola's dead." "That's not what I hear." "I hear her ghost still haunts the old haunted locker room." "I know you're here, Lola." "Reveal your spirit to me." "Man, this locker room isn't haunted." ""Brazil's Most Haunted Locker Rooms"." "Last time I go to that stupid half-priced bookstore, that's for sure." " Goodbye, Lola." " Hello, Owen." " A ghost!" " No, I'm not a ghost." "Well, then how come I can put my hand right through you?" "Okay, all right, all right, all right." "Owen, stop it." "I'm not a ghost." "I faked my own death." "This is exactly what the ancient scrolls said you would say." "I'm gonna announce my return at the staff meeting." "It's gonna be awesome." "Oh, I can't wait." "I'm so restless." "I've always wanted to have sex with a restless spirit." "Take off your ghost clothes." "A ghost!" "Attention, staff, there has to be more to life than this." "Lastly, I'm happy to announce that as a result of my recent surgery not only have I been made even more gorgeous but I no longer need these crutches." "Good riddance." "Check it out, people." "Whoo!" "Yeah, I feel like I'm flying." "Well, I would like to announce that Lola is back from the grave." "Reveal yourself, ghost." "A ghost!" "Oh, God." "Ow." "Ow." "Oh." "Ow!" "Ghost, tell us, is rain really God's tears?" "Why does it rain in Seattle, never L.A.?" "Break my fall, you sexy son of a bitch." " Ghost, I wanna talk to you." " I am not a ghost." " If you're not a ghost, then prove it now." " How?" " Pee on me." " How does that prove that I'm not a ghost?" "I've been peed on so many times, I'll feel the difference." "Is it really so crazy that I faked my own death because I had too many e-mails?" "God, it was horrible." "I get it now." "You're here to take Cat's dying, retarded boyfriend to the other side." "Oh, my God!" " So what do you wanna read tonight?" " The ancient scrolls." " Again?" " Mm-hm." "Okay." "Uh-oh." "I forgot to take my pills for my ticker." "Okay." "Wait, what's this?" "This is Viagra." "This is the wrong pill." "This is a direct conflict with your cholesterol medication." "Now we have to go to the hospital or you're gonna die." "My ticker's getting hard." "You did this for me, didn't you?" "You took the wrong pill so that we could make love again one last time before you died." "Okay." " Did I make?" " You're about to make." "My wiener's out." "Boy." "Ohh!" "Oh, my heart is beating so fast." " Yeah, that's because you're feeling it." " It's beating too fast." "Ow!" " What?" " I'm dying over here." "Oh, God, it's happening so fast." "Oops." "I gotta get that." "Cello?" "Yeah, I've got time." "Female, between the ages of 25 and 35." "Over $150,000 a year." "Satisfied." " Extremely satisfied." " I got fudge in my veins." "You're welcome." "Bye." " What?" " I can see my grandma." " You can?" " And she's not judging anybody." "Shh!" "Go gentle into that good night." "Oh, all right." "Well, I gotta poop this kid out." "Oww!" "But after he died, I got a job here as a nurse." "He died?" " Aahh!" " We gotta go." "She's losing blood." "This is it, the end that I was talking about before." " We're losing her." " Advanced aging disease is hereditary." "The baby is too big." "Your vagina's too small." "Oh, Lola." "Are you here to take me to the other side?" "No, I am not dead." "Can you kiss me the kiss of life and save me?" " Cat, I need you to push." " Oh, Lola!" "Push." "Damn it." "Is it a boy or a girl?" "Lives end just like stories." "Time of death 10 p.m., 9 Central." "Our voices stop, but our stories live on." "Dr. Cat Black is gone for good and no one will ever replace her." "I'm Valerie Flame, Dr. Cat Black's replacement." " What can I do?" " Oh, girl, whatever you want." "Unh!" "Ha-cha-cha!" "Here we go." " I'll wash the child." " Uh-oh." "I got a baby boner." "Good night, pussycat." "Ha, ha!" "I'm back." "My private practice is over, and I'm ready to..." "Wow!" "That is horrible." "I mean, come on." "It's like a bomb went off in that thing." "It's like a Vietnam movie." "Wow!" " I'm talking about her vagina." "Wow." " That's enough." "You guys should see this thing." "And new stories begin." "Life is death and rebirth and love and blood." "We all have a story to tell." "Some stories are just better than others, more interesting and prettier." "Some stories are blonde with Scandinavian features." "And all stories come to a beginning." "So the beginning." "Are you my grandma?" "I was." "I work here now." " That's confusing." " Sorry." "I have a real treat for fans of the show." "I have the actual person upon whom the character Dr. Blake Downs, the character that I play on the show, was based." "So without further ado, the real Dr. Blake Downs Dr. Blake Downs." "I have a question." "Tell me, what was the real Chief like?" "Oh, the Chief was a very funny woman who I worked with at the real hospital." "I feel like this is just not gonna work at all." "It's your show."