"'The year is 1987 'and NASA launches the last of America's deep-space probes." "'In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers, 'are blown into an orbit which freezes his life support systems 'and returns Buck Rogers to Earth 500 years later.'" "You'll see the science council in 20 minutes, Mr President, something about redesigning aqueducts." "I know." "If it isn't the aqueducts, it's the sewage system." "If it isn't that, it's the transport tubes." "How did you people develop plumbing before you thawed me out?" "I wouldn't know, Mr President, that was a little before my time." "Another thing, don't call me Mr President." "Makes me feel like I'm 500 years old." "But you are 500 years old." "493." "But who's counting?" "My mistake, Mr President." "Sorry, Hieronymus." "That isn't much better, is it?" "Go back to Mr President." "OK." "(Gasps)" " Something wrong?" " We've overshot our floor." "I can't bring it to a stop." "Uh-oh." "Monolithium oxide." "We'll be unconscious within minutes but no serious after-effects." "(Coughing)" "I'm sorry, Hieronymus." "It's all my fault." "Don't blame yourself." "Just do me a favour, will you?" "When you keel over, try not to fall on me." "'This is Koren." "Operation went as planned.'" "Excellent." "The President is unharmed?" "'Sleeping peacefully.'" "See to it he stays that way." "He's too valuable to be damaged." "I'll contact the Genesian government and present our demands." "Zale out." "But you must help me." "The President's life depends on it." " You're the boy's bodyguard?" " Yes." "Although apparently not enough of one." "I failed him once, I won't fail him again." "Lieutenant," "Genesia has shunned diplomatic relations with Earth, we have no treaty with you." "We cannot interfere in the affairs of a sovereign planet." "My government doesn't even know that I'm here." "When you refused them aid, I thought a personal request might be more effective." "A child's life is at stake here." "He may be a genius but he is still a boy." "Lieutenant, if we could help you, we would." "Our hands are tied." "I see." "Thank you for seeing me." "I'll just have to fend for myself." "Good day." " Hello." "What is your name?" " Lieutenant Cyrton." "Dia Cyrton." "Pleased to meet you." "Buck Rogers is mine." "The Buck Rogers who broke that woman out of detention on Zeta Minor?" "Well, I had a little help." "I've heard a great deal about you, Captain Rogers." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "Maybe we'll see each other again?" "Maybe." " Who was she?" " No one you should be concerned about." " I don't know about that." " I thought you were on vacation." "I was on my way but I thought I'd drop off a gift for Dr Huer." "Twiki?" "Bidibidibidi." "Hold your horses." " It's a tree." " Not quite, Colonel." "It's a Ficus decora, commonly known as a rubber plant." "Isn't it beautiful?" "I had to go to three hydroponics labs to find one." "(Twiki) Bidibidibidi." " Somebody wanna take this thing?" " Sorry, Twiki." "There we are." "I'm extremely touched, Buck, but I don't think I'd know how to take care of such a thing." "Water it twice a week and feed it once a month." "It'll grow on you." "That's just what I'm afraid of." " I gotta get back to packing." " Thank you, very thoughtful." "My pleasure, Doc." "See you both in a couple of weeks." "Enjoy yourself." "Bidibidi." "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." "Uh, Colonel, are you interested in a little added decoration?" "Not on your life." "No." "No, I..." "I didn't think so." "I wish we didn't have to lie to the Lieutenant." "She cares for that boy." "We can't let anyone know that we're about to become unofficially involved." "We can't refuse a call for help but we cannot violate Federation law." "At least, not openly." "Are you certain that Roderick Zale is responsible?" "Positive." "We've also correlated all of Zale's known hideouts." "There is a 93 per cent probability that he is holding the President on Aldebaran 2." "Uh-oh." "Perfect place to hide somebody." "No law enforcement to speak of and no stellar authorities." "Exactly." "You'll work as a technician in the general service centre in the capital city of Barony." "Take this voice print of Zale's and pinpoint his location." "Remember, you have one week to locate Hieronymus Fox before his abductors kill him." "Piece of cake." "Piece of cake." "I wish someone would tell me what that means." "Hey!" "Easy on the threads!" "Where did they pick you up anyway?" "By all means, Koren, treat our guest with some respect." "After all, he's about to make us all rich men." "Greetings, Mr President." "My name is..." "Your name is Roderick Zale, your speciality is political abduction, and your modus operandi sticks out like a sore thumb." "Half the galaxy probably knows you snatched me." "You're as perceptive as I was told." "How much are you asking for me?" "A reasonable price." "6,000 kilograms of pure quadrillium." "(Scoffs and laughs)" "Ain't no way the Genesians are gonna cough up that much." "I don't even think we've got that much quadrillium." "Then they'd better find it somewhere." "Or within a week, their technological miracle worker will die." "Come on, Zale, I'm worth more to you alive than dead any day of the week." "Even if the Genesians don't pay up, you can sell my brains to the highest bidder." "So don't give me any of that Dr Doom jive." "You'd better take good care of me if you know what's good for you." "Starting right now." "Now then, first of all, there's food." "I have what you might call a voracious appetite." "General service provides food discs and soy supplements." "Food discs?" "Are you kidding?" "I mean real food." "Like French fries, milkshakes, cheeseburgers." " Cheeseburgers?" " An old 20th-century delicacy." "Meat patties made from an extinct animal called a cow." "In a pinch, you can use a mountain lizard." "Mountain lizard?" "Get him whatever he wants." "Just don't bother me with it." "For breakfast, I usually like scrambled eggs with peppers and onions." "An onion is a bulbous plant that you grow in the dirt." "Wait till you hear what's in the milkshake." "(♫ Futuristic music)" "All right, enough already." " (Music stops)" " I feel like I'm in a department store." " How about some of my music?" " (Electronic scrambling)" "(♫ Three Dog Night:" "Shambala)" "That's better." "Much better." "God bless Dr Junius and the archives." " (Beep)" " Come in." "Well, hi." "Lieutenant Cyrton, isn't it?" "That's right." "What exactly is that?" " Three Dog Night." " What?" "Never mind." "Sorry, my flight leaves in 20 minutes." "I'm meeting someone on Regulus 5 I wish I had more time to talk to you." "I don't have time for an extended conversation either." "Maybe we can get together when I get back." "(Groans)" " Why did you do that?" " Like I said," "I don't have time to convince you to come with me." "I like it better this way." "Where are we going?" " To rescue the President." " Oh, right!" "Rescue the President." "What president?" "Hieronymus Fox, president of Genesia." "Ask a silly question." "This had better be a joke, and it had better have a great punch line." "No joke." "I'm sorry I had to do it this way." "You're the best man for the job and I'm gonna need the best if I'm to recover Hieronymus." "There's something you don't understand." "I'm meeting a lady named Tangie and I'm gonna be missed." "Wherever we land, I'm just gonna hightail it out of there no matter how many hypos you pull, so save yourself some trouble and take me back to Earth." "Captain, Hieronymus Fox is not a native Genesian." "He's from Old Earth, 20th century." "Your time." " You're kidding." " He was a child genius." "He graduated from college aged nine, got his PhD in physics at the age of 10." "When the Holocaust began, he created a device to preserve people in a cold sleep but it was only an experimental model." "The war escalated and he wouldn't risk anyone's life but his own." "If all this is true, why didn't Dr Huer tell me about it?" "Dr Huer doesn't know." "While your civilisation was in ruins, Earth was looted by aliens." "Hieronymus has been handed down from one planet to another." "So the Genesians decided he was worth his weight in gold and kept him." "Do you wonder why we hesitated to open diplomatic relations with Earth?" "If you'd known what we'd done..." "Why should I help you?" "So you can make him a prisoner again?" "He wasn't a prisoner." "Hieronymus helped us because he wanted to." "In gratitude, we made him our president." "Now he's been kidnapped." "Will you help us recover him?" "If he is from the 20th century, you couldn't keep me away." "All right." "Do you know where he's being held?" "My informants say he's on Aldebaran 2, outside the capital, Barony." "Aldebaran 2." "Terrific." "Another visit to the Barbary Coast of space." "The last time I was there I was almost killed." "Me too." "Great place, isn't it?" "This trip is gonna be a whole lot of fun." "So here's the central core of our operation." "The nerve centre, you would call it." "We dispatch food, supplies, fuel and power to all the surrounding territories." "I'm not going too fast for you, am I, Deering?" "I know you organic life forms need time to assimilate information." "I wouldn't want to strain your synapses." "I was just noticing your screens." "Are they monitoring all requests for supplies from private residences?" "Very good, Deering." "They didn't give you that degree in electronics for nothing." "Now if you're through belabouring the obvious," "I want to show you where you'll be stationed." "Please." "Nowlan, Calkins!" "Break time is over." "Don't you humans ever get done eating?" "Organic scum." "Gotta watch them every minute." "OK, Deering, here's your station." "We'll start you right at the top, with the garbage." "You'll monitor the rate at which sewage flows under the city." " Wonderful." " I knew you'd like it." "And Deering?" "I like to keep an eye on my workers." "It makes me feel more secure." "So if you slip up, I'll know about it." "(Laughs)" " Excuse me." "Mr Koren?" " Yes." "You certainly fit your description." "MD Toman." "I'm here to see Mr Zale." "He mentioned it." "What is it you do again, Mr...?" "Toman." "You might say I'm in pest control." " Right this way." " Thank you." " What is that?" " Transport tube." " Sends out supplies from Barony." " Oh." " Where have you come from anyway?" " Lansing 12." "Never heard of it." "Must be a lesser quadrant." "Not really." "The entertainment discs you wanted." "Koren, you've got the manners of a sand squid." "I try." "Keep an eye on him and don't let him out of your sight." " Mr Zale, someone to see you." " Of course." " You must be..." " MD Toman." " Pleased to meet you." " Well, come in." "Come in, sit down." "You're just in time." "The space port called." "The President's bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran." "She's acquired the services of a Terran named Rogers." "Buck Rogers." "Obviously they plan to rescue our prisoner." " I can take care of them." " Don't be ridiculous, Koren." "That's what Toman is here for." "I have the exclusive services of Mr Toman for a week." " You mean he's going to...?" " Kill them." "Mr Toman is going to kill Dia Cyrton and Buck Rogers." "All my informant knew was that Zale was within 50 km of Barony." "That makes sense." "None of the transport tubes extend further than that." "Do you have any idea how we can narrow that radius?" "I was told there might be someone here who could help us." "He comes from Dyson 3 and his name is..." "'Looking for me?" "'" "'Over here by the trylon table.'" "I swear I heard that voice in my head." "'You did." "'Over here.'" "Selmar?" "I was given your name by..." "'I know who gave it to you.'" "My name is..." "'Dia Cyrton, lieutenant in the Genesian star fleet." "'And Buck Rogers, captain, Earth Defense Directorate.'" "Yeah." "Uh..." " We're looking for..." " 'Roderick Zale." "'There's nothing you can tell me that I didn't know the moment you came in." "'Unfortunately, I can't help you." "'Not that I wouldn't like to, for the right price.'" "I have money." "As much as you need." "'Lieutenant, that isn't the point." "'Unless Zale or one of his people comes into my psionic range, 'we should say 50 or 60 metres," "'I can't tell you anything." "'Even telepaths have their limitations.'" "I see." " If you hear anything..." " 'You'll be at the Hotel Barony.'" "Yeah, right." "Guy must be a blast at cocktail parties." "'I heard that.'" "Well..." "It's about time." "I've been waiting for you." "Boy, these people have a lot to learn about making cheeseburgers." " Hey!" "Curly Joe." " Why do you call me that?" "No reason." "These earphones you got me are defective." " What do you mean, defective?" " See for yourself." "(High-pitched whine)" "Pleasant dreams, Curly." "34th and Lexington, and step on it." "Cyrton and Rogers were seen at the casino." "Toman should be there shortly." " If Toman doesn't kill them?" " He will." "Even if they escape, they'll walk right into our hands." "(Lounge music and chatter)" "Oh!" "Sorry." "Let me give you a hand with that." "Just who do you think you are?" "It was an accident." "You're going to be an accident in a minute." "You know, it really hurts me that you won't accept my apology." "If you're gonna be contrite about it, apology accepted." " He sure put you back in line." " Barely escaped with my life." "I think we could find Zale's hideout through aerial reconnaissance." "But how?" "If Zale has a squadron of starfighters at his disposal, he must have a private hangar as well." "We could use your ship's heat sensors to detect energy sources..." "Yeah?" " Are you Captain Rogers?" " That's right." "Good." "Sorry." "Can't let you do that." "I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you." "You're sorry?" "He must be from Lansing 12 - heavy gravity planet." " Knock him out!" " I'm trying!" "Why, you little jerk." "'Hold it." "'You can stop running now." "You're safe.'" " Where did you come from?" " 'I have that information 'concerning Roderick Zale and President Hieronymus Fox of Genesia.'" "Five minutes ago you didn't know a thing." "'True." "But three minutes ago," "'Mr MD Toman, that formidable little man, 'walked into the casino, and I took a good, long look into his mind." "'He works for Roderick Zale." "'I can tell you your president's exact location 'for, say," "'3,000 credits.'" "Here." "Now where is he?" "'In a private home, located 36 km south-southwest of Barony." "'Here, let me implant the exact coordinates in your minds." "(Static whirring)" " 'There.' - (Groans)" "Thanks." "What's the security like?" "'Close to impenetrable.'" "Terrific." "At least we know where your president is." "'I'd like to remind the committee that I appear today as a courtesy, 'not an obligation.'" "'This is residence 473, sector I." "'We would like to order 40 cubits of soy supplement...'" "'This is residence 742, sector J. What's the idea taking four days...?" "'" "'This is residence 439, sector C. This is the third time I've called.'" "'This is residence 747, sector D." "'I'm sorry to bother you...'" "Dr Huer, I've punched in our voiceprint of Roderick Zale." "The computer is comparing all voices recorded in the last week." "Excellent." "Then your cover is secure?" "Affirmative." "I'm probably taking a chance coming in this early." "It's the only chance I've had so far." " 'This is the third time...' - 'I'd like to remind the committee." "(Sonic whirring)" " Bingo." " Bingo?" "What?" "One of Buck's expressions." "It means I think I've found it." "The computer has found a match for Zale's voice?" "There's a .007 deviation between the prints." "I'll have to run a tracer to triple-check." " Deering, who are you talking to?" " I don't know what you mean." "Yes, you do and I know exactly what you're up to." "You're using those monitors to find out when those rich people's houses are empty, so you and whomever you work with can rob them, right?" "Uh..." "Uh..." "You humans are all alike." "Always scheming to take something from one another." "That's what I like about Aldebaran - it's the kind of planet that destroys your faith in human nature." "Where are you going?" "Don't worry, Deering." "I don't care what petty thefts you're up to." "It just confirms my opinion of the lower organisms." "(Laughs)" "There must be an easier way to reach Zale." "As a matter of fact, I think there is." "What about the maintenance android?" "Come on." "Halt!" "That transport is city property." "Halt!" "That transport is city property." "Halt!" "That transport is city property." " Send me a letter." " That's city property." "Halt." "OK, man..." "Oh, no!" "It must be that way." "He turned that vid player into a sonic pacifier." "How he got out, I have no idea." "Because he looked so harmless" "I underestimated his resourcefulness and genius." "He could've slipped through a window so he's in the grounds." "He'll never make it past the photon shield." "But I don't want him injuring himself." "Go down into the woods, find Hieronymus Fox, and this time do a more efficient job than you did with Rogers and Cyrton." " Yes, Mr Zale." " You too." "I want that boy found." "Move." "If Zale knows we're on our way, he'll move Hieronymus." "I wish that didn't make so much sense." "(Low humming)" "Oh, boy." "What is that?" "I'm sure I could deactivate the force field from the other side." "If there was some way to get around the poles." " Instead of around it, how about over it?" " What?" "Come on." "Haven't you heard of the Flying Wallendas?" "No, but I think I know what you're talking about." " You OK?" " No problem." "My elbows are my worst feature anyway." " You said this mission would be exciting." " I did, didn't I?" "Oh." "(Click, whoosh)" " (Click, whoosh)" " There we go." " OK." " From here on, it's all uphill." " Terrific." "Dr Huer, I've traced Zale's call." "He's located in a private residence 36 km south-southwest of here." "(Voices and footsteps)" "Uh-oh." "The morning shift is back." "I'll check back in on my way to Zale's." "(Groans)" "(Rattling)" "Did anybody get the number of that spaceship?" "Uh-oh." "Uh..." "Uh... hi there." "I bet you're wondering what I'm doing in your parcel bin." "Actually, I'm not a real person at all." "I'm a doll." "That's it." "A pre-programmed cybernetic doll." " My name is Ken." " Uh..." "Mr President, are you all right?" "Before I answer that, whose side are you on?" "Yours." "Colonel Deering from the Earth Defense Directorate." " How did you get away from Zale?" " Nothing to it." "I just did a quick impersonation of a sack of groceries." " I guess I'm a little late." " No, you're just in time." "My bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran." "She and some Buck Rogers are on their way to Zale's place." "Buck?" "If we don't help them, they're both gonna get wasted." " You know what wasted means?" " Yes, I've heard the term before." "OK." "Here's what we gotta do." "First... get me out of this bin, please." " What's that?" " It's a photon shield." " A 25th-century minefield." " Except the entire field is a mine." "One step and we'd be paralysed instantly." "Unless I use this, that is." "Very nice." "Some sort of energy-damping device?" " It's only temporary, I assure you." " Let's keep moving." "What have we here?" "Trespassers." "Hello again, Captain Rogers." "We have unfinished business to settle." "Hold it, they may know where the kid is." "We'll take them to Zale, then you can do whatever you like." "I wonder what Moses would've done?" "The Genesian government has received another warning repeating the threat to kill the President." "They're bluffing." "I just left Hieronymus." " You've already freed him?" " More like he freed himself." "Then you're on your way back." "Not exactly." "Cyrton got Buck involved." "They're in Zale's stronghold now." " 'I pray they're still alive.'" " Good heavens." " Bidibi." "What a bummer." " I see." "And you're going to their aid?" "'Where did you hide the President?" "'" "I didn't exactly hide him." "Hieronymus studied Zale's defences." "The only way to deactivate them is from the inside." "The only one who could sneak in is..." "No!" "No." "Colonel, I don't want to hear this." "I don't want to tell the Genesians that their president is walking back into that peril." "He knows what he's doing." "He's sneaking in through the transport tubes." "It's his decision." "Lieutenant Cyrton is his friend." "We have to do something, or she and Buck would die." "In that case, I understand." "Just keep me apprised of your progress." "And be careful." "Huer out." "Deering out." " What do you think?" " I believe Deering and Rogers have the situation well in hand." "Bidibidibidi." "He also believes in the Easter bunny." "Buck, I'm sorry." "I never should have gotten you involved." "Don't worry, I make my own decisions." "And it's not over yet." " Yes, but..." " Dia, be quiet." " (Whooshing)" " Inside." "We're not gonna tell him where the kid is." " Buck, they'll kill us." " The woman's right, Rogers." "If you do know where the President is, you'd better tell us." "Otherwise you'll both die." "And if we do tell you, we'll probably still die." "There are many ways to die, long and short." "Now, once again, where is the boy?" "We don't know." "We were sent to rescue him and we can't find him." "You know, I think you really don't know where the President is." "You want us to think you do, to postpone the inevitable." "That's all." "Take them to the hangar." "It's a good long walk down there." "If they know anything, they may change their minds on the way." " And if they don't?" " Then activate a starfighter and place them in front of the ion stream." "That should dispose of their bodies quickly and neatly." "Let's go." "Send out the next warning to Genesia." "They must not think anything is wrong." "What is it?" "It's lizard meat from Rigel 4." "More of the kid's weird food." "Let it rot." "This is absurd." "A ten-year-old child can't elude us forever." "I'm ordering every guard we have down there." "We'll find him if we have to defoliate the entire forest." "Another few hundred metres and we'll be in the flight hangar." "Would you mind getting that door, Captain?" " Mind if I ask you something?" " Not at all." " How does one become a..." " Terminator?" "Yeah." "That's quite a long story." "On my world, people grew stronger muscles to compensate for the gravity." "To tell you the truth, on my planet I'm considered a weakling." "And on planets with lesser gravity..." "I can do this." "You see, I realised early in life" "I could either stay on my world and be a librarian or go off-planet and put my talents to use." "Now if you don't mind, the door." "(Whining)" "Attaboy, Hieronymus." "Thanks." "Going somewhere, Mr President?" "'Alert." "Security androids report to guard post.'" " What is that?" " You're asking us?" "You go check it out, we'll wait." "Until I find out what's going on, we'll keep moving." "Your shoes are untied." "'Alert." "Security androids report to guard post." "Alert.'" " I told you you could knock him out." " Son of a gun." "Come on, let's go find your president." "Koren to Zale." "Come in, Zale." "Mr Zale!" "Mr Zale!" "Maybe he slid back under his rock." "Shut up, or so help me, I'll kill you right here and now." "I think she might have something to say about that." "That one is almost as old as you are." "Old but true." "Mighty nice shooting, Colonel." "Thank you, Mr President." "Man, I haven't tasted food like that in 500 years." "Yes, it was quite unusual." "What did you say?" "Chilli?" "Mexican chilli." "Spices, vegetables, meat." "Where did you find the meat?" "You don't want to know." "Hieronymus, I'm gonna be sorry to see you go back to Genesia." "You're the first person I've met from my own time." "Probably the last." "He's sure the shortest." "You wanna say that again, transistor face?" "Bidibidibidi." "What did he say?" "He was apologising, Mr President." " No, I wasn't." " (Theopolis) Yes, you were." "Do you want to start an interstellar incident?" "Want the blood of thousands on your pincers?" "You know, Buck, I get the feeling you're starting to like the 25th century." "Yeah, I guess I am." "People are people, no matter what century they're in." "And we got pretty nice ones here." "Once in a while I miss the way things were." "Sure." "I miss cheeseburgers and comic books and rock music and Saturday morning cartoons." "Maybe things are kind of plastic here but they're not dull." "How many people do you know get to live in the future?" "I guess you got a point." "Looks like we're both lucky." "By the way, Buck, you never did take that vacation you started on." "Perhaps you'd consider taking it on Genesia?" "Sounds like a good idea." "What do you say?" "Can I stay at the presidential estate?" "Well..." "I had to turn the presidential estate into a civic centre but I got a condominium you could stay at- sauna, hot tub, tennis." "You Play?" "Not me." "My reach is kind of short, but I instituted it as the national sport, replacing gladiatorial games." "You gotta watch these people every minute." "Sounds like some kind of paradise." "That's what they need me for, to make things better." "How about making some more chilli?" "That last batch had way too many scales." "Scales?"