"What?" "!" "Look, just because I know about you two, doesn't mean I like looking at it." "Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?" "Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman!" "And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition!" "Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.Okay." "Sorry. / Sorry." "I can hear that!" "Rachel's at work." "I can still hear you!" "Hey!" " Hey!" " Hello!" "Hey, what's that?" "Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother." "Can you believe it?" "!" "A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud." "Eeeee - ohh!" "God!" "Argh-argh!" "Ooh, soft." "Is this mink?" "Yeah!" "Why would my mother send me a fur?" "Doesn't she know me but at all!" "Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!" "Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour That didn't happen, I made that up!" "Hey!" " Oh, Ross?" "Ross!" "You can't put up flyers in here." "How come?" "Everybody else does." "You can't." "What is that?" "Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things." "This is all of your things." "Yes, yes it is!" "No, but it's good it's-Emily thinks we should get all new stuff." "Stuff that's just ours, together." "Y'know brand new." "So basically, this is a getting-rid-of-everything-Rachel-ever-used sale." "Touched." "Used." "Sat on." "Sleep on." "I'll take it all." "Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?" "Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine." "Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme?" "After what I did?" "Can you blame her?" "Oh my God!" "You got off easy!" "When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green." "What is he doing?" "What, Emily, thinks Ross's furniture has got Rachel coodies?" "Now calm down Joey." "No!" "Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know?" "Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!" "Oh, I hate this." "Everything's changing." "Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence¡¦" "Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves." "Are you cool with that?" "No!" "But y'know, I'm an actor, I'll act cool." "Ohh, whoa God!" "Storage rooms give me the creeps!" "Monica, come on please hurry up honey!" "Please?" "Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron." "I want the little round waffles." "All right." "Op, here it is!" "Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb." "I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?" "Okay, y'know what?" "I'll-I'll have toast!" "Arghhhh!" "Oh my God!" "Fog him!" "Fog him!" "I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat." "I'll take it!" "That might work!" "Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah!" "Enh?" "All right, what do you think?" "You're on in 5 Ms. Minnelli." "No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden." "No, it's great." "Okay?" "I'm totally on board." "I love you too, all righty." "Bye." "What's the matter Ross?" "Nothing." "Oh, actually, great news!" "I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment." "Woo-hoo!" "Why?" " Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment?" "Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other." "That's way uptown!" "That's like three trains away!" "Which is great!" "I love to ride that rail!" "So you're really okay with this?" "Yes!" "Yes!" "I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute." "I-I've been given the gift of time!" "Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space." "We should get them together and make a continuum." "Now he's movin'?" "Man, what is Emily doing to him?" "Ow!" "He's not even here!" "You guys!" "You guys!" " We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!" "It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man!" "He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something!" "And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!" "Yeah, I-I-I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass!" "Uhh, like dark hair, bushy beard?" " Yeah!" "Yeah, you fogged Danny." "Please!" "We did not fog Danny!" "Who's Danny?" "Dan just moved in downstairs." "Yeah, he just got back from like this four-month trek in the Andes." "Nice fella." "Oh he's nice." "He's nice!" "Y'know, you always stick up for the people we fog!" "Yeah?" "Hi!" "You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you." "We're-we're really sorry we fogged you. / Okay." "Hi!" "Just so you know, we-we didn't mean to fog you, we thought you were like a yeti or something. / Okay." "Yesss?" "Hi!" "Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it. / Yeah." "O-kay!" "Wow!" "That guy is so rude!" "Really!" "What is with that guy?" "I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you." "Well you did a little bit." "Oh my God, honey, I'm so sorry!" "I totally forgive you!" " Really?" " Yes!" "Hey!" " Hey!" "So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium?" "Crematorium Chris?" "Sure!" "He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies." "Oh my God!" "Oh my God, look at these pelts!" "Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated." "What?" "Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature!" "Not nature, fashion!" "This is fashion?" "!" "Okay, so to you, death is fashion?" "!" "That's really funny." "Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia." "I mean, you really thing this looks good?" "'Cause I do." "I know I miss you too." "I can't wait to see you." "I love you." "Bye." "Okay, what is in here?" "Rocks?" "No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples." "So, rocks." "I'm really gonna miss this apartment." "Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there." "Ohh." "Hey, remember when I ran into this thing and it kinda knocked me out a little?" "I loved this place!" "To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move." "Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?" "Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice¡¦" "You do have a choice!" "Ross, why are you listening to her?" "!" "Are you, are you crazy?" "!" "Why?" "It's not right what Emily wants you to do! as long as Ross was happy, right?" "Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy." "What's going on?" "We all hate Emily!" "Nooo!" "No, Ross, we do not hate Emily." "We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy." "Yeah!" "Look, we just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Unreasonable!" "Unreasonable?" "How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married!" "You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work!" "All right, it's about compromise!" "Do you always like it?" "No!" "Do you do it?" "Yes!" "Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time!" "It's real life, okay?" "It's what grown-ups do!" "I think he's right." "You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much." "God, I feel so guilty about Ross." "Oh, I know." "I kinda feel like it's my fault." "Kind of?" "If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened." "Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out!" "Well, I think it's very brave what you said." "All right, I can't sit here anymore." "I have to walk places." "Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat?" "How about the whole animal rights thing?" "Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice." "Okay, I admit it!" "I love this coat!" "Okay, I-it's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley!" "Remember Phil Huntley?" "He was fine!" "Hi!" "So you like the short hair better." "What?" "Yeti-I mean Danny?" "I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell." "Oh." "Listen, I'm so sorry." "I would, I would've never fogged you if y'know if you hadn't looked so¡¦." "Y'know." "Absolutely." "Some people are just into appearances." "What?" "That's cool." "Cool." "What?" "Hey!" "No-no-no!" "This not cool!" "You don't even know me!" "Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog." "So from that you think you've got me all figured out?" "Well, you don't!" "Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!" "Do you?" "Well, y'know, if-if kids like to play with Capri pants." "Okay." "And stop saying that!" "I hate that!" " Okay!" "Fine!" "I judged you." "I made a snap judgement." "But you did it too!" "And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement!" "You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong!" "What does that say about you?" "The pizza-place across the street any good?" " What?" "!" "I'm hungry." "Wanna get some pizza?" "You can keep yelling if there's more." "Okay." "Okay." "Stop saying that." "I hate that." "Uh, Ross?" "Are you still mad at us?" " Yep." "Oh good!" "Because we have an "I'm sorry" song." "Y'know what?" "I'm really not in the mood." "Look, Ross, I feel really bad." "I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk." "Yeah, we are so sorry." "You're kinda stepping on the song." "Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you." "Whatever you decide, whatever you do." "Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!" "Look, this is hard enough!" "I really need you guys right now." "Yes!" "Exactly!" "And that's why¡¦" "Why don't you come over tonight?" "And I'll make you favorite dinner." "Okay." "Thanks you guys." "Pheebs are you wearing fur?" "Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!" "Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today." "You do, huh?" "Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor." "Right?" "So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know?" "See what I'm saying?" "I gotta lot of balls in the air." "Y'know what I mean?" "It's tough!" "Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone¡¦" "What are you talking about?" "I'm not sure." "Hi!" " Hey, look at you!" "Where have you been?" "Oh, I went to have pizza." "With Danny." "How did that happen?" "That yeti is one smooth talker." "I hope you're not full, 'cause dinner's almost ready." "Yeah, y'know I-I think I'm just gonna hang out in my room. / o!" "Why?" "Come on you guys!" "Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it." "It's okay, I really¡¦ I don't mind." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Y'know what?" "Just stay." "Please?" "It uh¡¦ It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed." "Ross, I¡¦" "RACHEL PLEASE!" "JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!" "Okay." "Okay." "Joey, it's okay." "Settle down." "All right, I-I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "You see Rach I'm an actor¡¦" "Hey!" "Hey, look!" "Ugly Naked Guy's back!" "I haven't seen him in so long!" "Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard!" "Wow, this is so weird." "I just realized this might be the last time we'll all be hanging out together." "It's almost as if he knew." "I'll get it." "Hello." "Hi Emily!" "Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down." "Hold on one second." "Hey!" "Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner." "Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on." "She wants to say hi." "Hold on." "Hi Emily!" " Hi!" "Hello everyone." "So who am I saying hello too?" "Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!" "Well, I should hope not." "Ross knows better than that by now." "Y'know what?" "Uh, Rachel is here!" "She's there?" "!" "Oh yeah, there-there she is!" "Yeah, yeah, she's here." "Ross, take me off speakerphone. / Hi." "How can you do this too me?" "!" "I thought I'd made my feelings about Rachel perfectly clear!" "Look Emily, I'm just having dinner with my friends, okay?" "You obviously can't keep away from her." "Emily that's ridiculous." "Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you." "Please, just get on the plane and come to New York." "Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with." "I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time." "Well, you can't know where I am all the time." "Look, this marriage is never gonna work if you don't trust me." "You're right." "So, can you trust me?" "No." "I think it's going okay." "Looks like he's smiling." "How can you tell?" "You can only see the back of his head!" "You can totally tell!" "Here look, watch me." "Smile!" "Frown." "Smile!" "Frown." "Smile!" "Well, I guess that's it." "Why, what happened?" "What happened?" "What happened?" "My marriage is over. / What?" "!" "Oh, sweetie." "Oh, look at you." "You're shivering." "Here." "Ross, honey, is there anything we can do?" "Yeah." "You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther." "Okay, stop tormenting me!" "This mink!" "Okay, they're mean!" "And they hate squirrels!" "And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats!" "All right, fine, now I get it." "Here." "You take it." "Are you happy now?" "I'm cold!"