"Okay, let's go." "Why are we jogging?" "It's healthy to sweat dad, I'm very healthy already." "Why do people think I'm not healthy?" "I'm in great, happy health." "I never said you weren't." "Come on, guys, let's pick up the pace a little bit." "Did mom put you up to this?" "No." "Why?" "I told him, Darb." "I get a weird vibe from those girls." " They're gonna make you die of sleep apnea." " What girls?" "Fat people get sleep apnea and they choke in the middle of the night." " No, they don't." " Whoa, hey hey, both of you." " Yes, they do." " Guys, instead of going to these fat classes, how about the three of us... we run, huh?" " Come on." " I have a cramp." "Do you ever wonder what kind of guy dad would be like in high school?" "Paul Kolsenovic." "What?" "Paulie K?" "I was never a shortstop." "Dad, he's a total asshole." " What?" "Guys like that, they're allergic to people like us." "They make mooing sounds when we walk past." "What's up with you, guys?" "I never mooed at anybody." "Paulie K calls me Gaymon." "What?" "That kid just got benched." "Dad, you don't get it." "Do you actually think" " you would have been friends with us in high school?" " Absolutely." " Of course." "I always had interesting fends." " Oh, like who?" "Like... well, like my friend Tanya, for example." "We do stuff together all the time." "What's the matter with you guys, huh?" "Why am I the enemy all of a sudden?" "What, you don't live with me for a couple of months and suddenly you're making all these assumptions?" "Honey, hey, I'm the same great dad I always was." "We're... three peas in a pod." "Dad, look in the mirror." "Everybody looks at you and mom and wonders where we came from." "Honey." "You're never gonna know what that's like." "Hey." "He calls me bitch tits too." " What?" " Paulie K, he calls me bitch tit" "Jess, I can see your tiles." "Oh." "Honey, just make a move." "Don't sweat it." "Remember how you made me go bowling and I hesitated but then I really really loved it?" "Well, I'm sure the same thing can happen for you." "How about this economy, huh?" "So are you guys feeling it or...?" "Actually, Matt couldn't be busier." "I hate to say it, but when times are tough people do have more heart attacks." "Veins seem to constrict." "Hearts are recession-proof." "Feet... not so much." "Or skin." "I'm like down 40%." "40%?" "You're so tight-lipped, Ron." "Oh "tics," like the bug." "Or with that spelling, an uncontrollable jerk." " A tic." " It's a nervous tic." " It's an involuntary... your husband's a doctor." " It's a great word, Jess." " Come on, it's 12 points." " It is a word." "FYou have one new message." "Tanya, are you wearing your new cashmere sweater?" "I just read an article in "the New York Times"" "about how French luxury labels use secret Indian children to sew their garments." "How do you feel about that?" "Claudine." "I'm sorry." "Where is Claudine?" "Oh, didn't you hear?" "Shingles." "She went to Florida to be with her mom." "I'm the new supervisor." "Wow, I didn't even know there was an opening." "It's great." "Anyway, this schedule says" "I only work four hours next week?" "Oh, yeah, that's a mistake." "It should say zero." "Sorry, it looks like you're a victim of the recession." "Wait, you're firing me?" "You get a little power and you're firing me?" "Huh-uh, not necessarily." "You've just been downshifted." "You could be upshifted if things change." "I need this job." "I depend on it." "I'm behind on my rent." "What does that even mean... upshift?" "It means what you think it means..." "You're down but you could be up." "You could get me a date with the big dick guy." "Oh sure." "I could even swing you a discount." "I don't want a discount." "I want him for free." "Patty, Richard has to be paid." "Then you pay him." "In my whole life..." "I have never been anyone's boss, Tanya." "Now I'm 44." "I've never got to tell anyone what to do." "Would you get that for me?" "Patty, I have life outside of here." "Do you know this sweater... it cost $1800?" "Looks like one that I have from J.T. Warehouse that make me itch." "No, this is a Lanvin." " It looks like a Lankin." " A Lankin?" "No, this is..." " These uniforms..." " Yeah, they're great, huh?" "I got the team some new uniforms." "Told Mike I got a special donor to pay for them." "The kids loved it." "They look like a million bucks." "My own kids..." "I don't know." "Were they right?" "If they were in high school with me, would I be friends with them?" " I missed you a little bit." " What?" "No need to panic." "I mean like a friend, not in the romantic sense of the situation." "I'm not panicked." "Well, you look kind of freaked out to me, or intimidated, but in the anxious zone." "No, I'm a calm, confident person, Charlie, and more and more so every day." "This is just a difficult moment." "Which is why you reached out to me, right?" "Uh..." "Would you consider us friends or are we just acquaintances?" "Well, I don't know if I would say friends, because we just met, but I do think we have a special, open dynamic." "Say no more." "If our little talks are special to you, that is answer enough for me." "What we have is special, I agree." "Anyway, the problem is my ho... my one ho... actually, he's not all mine." "Actually, the truth is I have to share him with this woman who I think has sociopathic tendencies." "What do you mean by the word "share"?" "Well, she's his pimp too." "She's his pimp too?" "Correct." "One ho, two pimps?" " Correct." " Wow." "If that's how you like to run things." "No, absolutely not." "This woman... she's trying to fuck with me." "She's trying to fuck with my head." " And I need to fight back." " I see." "You're very excitable." "Well, for example, this sweater..." "I think she practically cursed it." "I think she went so far as to sneak into my apartment and switch it out with a cheaper version." "I am absolutely positive that this label used to say "Lanvin." And now..." "Hold." "Take her out... the other pimp." " Take her out?" " Uh-huh." "That's what I want to do." "Not in a violent way." "Hey okay." "This is how I do it." "Close your eyes." "Really, close your eyes." "Now imagine this lady." "Imagine the color of her hair." "Wait wait." "Okay." "All right, her eyes... well, everything." "You got it?" "Yeah." "Now see her dead." "See every detail see the blood coming from her head, bleeding from her fucking ears, stab wounds..." "I can't do that." "No, just go with it." "It's just an exercise." "No, I think I need a different idea." "You bide your time like a cobra." "And when the moment is right, you strike." "How do I know the time is right?" "Well, you'll feel it." "Mind bullets..." "Bang bang bang bang!" "This place is very inconvenient." " Next time I pick the venue." " Hi." "Hi." "It's fine." "It's cultural." "It's not cultural, Ray." "It's people eating beans." "Thanks, Jozo." "Oh, I love this place." "They make the best boiled beans." "Hey, puppy." "Here's your cash." "Thanks." "That's it?" "There's $240 in here." "Your 60% of $1200 is $720, minus 40% of the previous $1200." "You didn't commission me on that." "Remember when Claire paid you that fish money and you forgot to tell me?" "I think I understand Ray's frustration, Lenore." "Frankly, 40% is too high of a commission for you." "Frankly, I think 0% is too high a commission for you, Tanya." "Come on, Lenore, ease up, all right?" "Come on, we're not in high school anymore." "How about we treat each other with a little respect?" "All right?" "Let's not talk about commission right now." "Who have we got lined up?" "I have several exciting prospects lined up, starting with Patty." "I talked her into rebooking and she's willing to pay $300." " Patty?" " Uh-huh." "Right, Seaworld." " Ray doesn't do discounts anymore." " I think Ray can speak for Ray." "And I think he understands the value of an enthusiastic client." " Right?" " I think Lenore is right, Tanya." "$300?" "It's a little low." "Okay, I think maybe I can massage her into $400." "The minimum is $600." "Look, Patty is... she's between paychecks right now, and the best she can do is $400." "Then Patty is a definite no-go." "On the other hand, I have two clients that I have almost sealed the deal with." "I wasn't done talking, okay?" "I wasn't done talking." "I have a second client..." "Frances." "And she's a mature wealthy widow." " I'm sorry, who?" " Frances." "Yes, that's right..." "Frances." "Frances is someone that I have a connection with." "I told you we had a connection." "And she gave me a gift..." "this sweater, actually." "Frances is someone that Lenore couldn't close and I saw an opening." "Gee, I'm feeling chilly." "What are you wearing?" "You two look like twins." " Lenore." " Oh, for God's sake." "Lenore, just tell me the truth." "Where did you get that sweater?" "At the store." "I liked your sweater so I got one for myself." "No, admit it." "You stole it." "You snuck into my apartment and you stole the sweater." " Show me the label." " Okay, let me break it down for you, Tanya..." "I understand why you're confused." "I told you last time that your sweater was a Lanvin, but I made a mistake." "Do you know when I realized it?" "When I went to buy this one and it was clearly so much nicer." "I'm sorry you're disappointed." "I really am." "I would be too if I discovered that my $1800 gift was a Lankin." "Although Lankin is a very well respected emerging Israeli designer who just happens to favor cheap rayon." "That's it." "That's it." "That's it." "I am sick of it." "I am sick of your shit." "I am sick of you, Lenore." "I have tried to make this work." "I tried to be a gracious person when you swooped in and you took Ray away from me." "But I'm so tired of being gracious." "I am sick of being accommodating." "I am tired of being walked all over." "You think you're the only one who knows how to play hardball?" "I know how to play hardball." "I am not afraid to play hardball." "What are you gonna do, T-Brain, write a mean poem about me?" "Fuck you." "Bang bang bang, motherfucker!" "What if the neighbors see you?" "Honey, if your business is down 40%, so is theirs." "There's nothing embarrassing about doing a little yardwork." "It's not exactly 40%." "Are you saying it's more?" "It varies." "The Botox boom is over, but we still get the stress-related acne and the skin-cancer crowd." "Don't worry about it, Jess." "I just want to help, Ron." "Look at someone like Mindy." "She's a wife." "She brings home a doctor's salary." "You know she's trying to get pregnant too?" "Jeez, I can't imagine being pregnant right now." "What if you did imagine it?" " What?" " I think we should have a baby." "There, I said it." "Ron, when we were dating you said you had absolutely no interest in kids." "I know, but I changed my mind." "Mindy says it's a wonderful gift." "I'm not Mindy, Ron." "I'm nothing like her." "Well, honey," "Mindy's really good at being married." "This is gonna be so good." "Doesn't it smell good?" "You're gonna love it." "It's much better than old beans." "Now I'm sorry." "I know I scared you, but I promise" "I'm the kind of person that's always kind to animals." "Tanya." "Just a second, Ray." "Okay." "Okay." " Hi." " Hi." "I thought I'd stop by for a little post-game recap." "Yeah, well, would you like some..." "Would you like some scrambled eggs?" "No, listen, Tanya..." " Some tea?" " No, thanks." "I feel bad... the commission thing." "Lenore... she's wrong." "You deserve more than 0%." "I shouldn't have let that slide by." "I should have stood up for you." "Thanks, Ray." "That means a lot." "But the thing is I'm..." "I haven't earned it yet." "And about Horny Patty... she's very persistent." "Forget about Horny Patty, okay?" "If she won't pay our prices, then that's that, right?" "I say we hold the fort." "I bet she comes around." "What is that?" "It's rats." "Rats... they're in the attic and then they migrate to the bathroom through the wall." "Anyway, what are you doing tomorrow?" "Me and the kids are going to a movie." "You want to come?" "Really?" "What are you gonna see?" "Whatever you want." "Your choice." "But, Ray, you don't ever invite me anywhere." "Well, I'm full of surprises, Tanya." "I'm an interesting guy, right?" "I'm a nice guy." "I mean, if we went to school together, you wouldn't... you wouldn't hate me, right?" "I would try not to, Ray." "That's not a rat." "Why take her dog, Tanya?" "It's complicated." "Then why not just leave it at home?" "How do you think she got my sweater?" "What the hell kind of movie is this, Tanya?" "It's too peculiar." "There's a deeper meaning." "Just look for it." "What kind of movie is this?" "It's..." "There's a deeper meaning." "Look and try... to find it." "So are you and dad friends with benefits?" "Benefits?" "No no, there are no benefits." "What about you?" "I heard you were going through a kind of experimental phase." " Are you asking me if I'm gay?" " No, that's private." "Do I look gay?" " What does gay look like?" " Exactly." "It's just I'm not gonna climb into any box and I'm not gonna climb out of any box." "If there even is a box, someone else put it there, not me." "All right." "Come on, people are trying to sleep in here." "Shh." "Shh." "I deserve respect." "Just return the dog, Tanya." "Okay." "This is not a way to run a business." "Okay, but wait." "Ray, I need to ask a far of you." "It's about Horny Patty, the person." "Don't tell Lenore." "What, you want me to see her fo$400?" "No." "I need you to do her for free." " Come on, Tanya." " I know." "I'm trying to be a professional." "And I have fucked a lot of women for free, all right?" "So stop trying to knock me back to the minors." "I'm sorry, Ray." "She's my boss and I kind of have to pay for it." " What?" " Look, it's a long story." "Let's not get into it." "How about $200?" "Can you swing $250?" "Okay." "$250 is fine." "I can swing anything." "Oh my God, it's like vibrator-good." "That's nice." "I'm glad I'm better than a vibrator." "I didn't say that you were better." "I just said that you were as good." "Now... as good." "Ooh, better." "No, ooh ooh, as good." "I'm such a joker sometimes, you know." "I love to let it all just hang out." "I missed you, big dick man." "You remind me of my Ken doll." "Ken doll?" "When I was little, I always made my Ken doll have sex with my Barbies." "But I had 16 Barbies." "And only one Ken." "Barbie always had to, like, you know, go to work, and she got to go to parties and stuff." "But Ken... just fucked." "He didn't have time to go to work." "Sometimes being a good guy has its price." "I know." "I know what it's like to have a terrible mother." "But I like to think that difficult mothers make strong, independent women." "So just take some comfort in that." "I'm..." "I came to return Horny Patty." "Thanks, but this is my dog now..." "Horny Patrick." "But what about Horny Patty?" "I missed her, but I needed to move on." "Ray, I'm at Bertson's." "I thought we were meeting here." "You said every Sunday." "It's Sunday." " I thought you canceled that." " No." "Well, I thought you did, or else I'd be there." "Oh okay." "Ray, I thought you weren't coming." "Are you okay?" "Oh yeah." "I just need to get it together." "I'm not very..." "You need to talk to me?" "I'm just..." "I am so confused." "Marriage is so confusing." "Yeah." "As you know, I'm not easy to be married to." "You were okay." "It's probably my fault." "And if it wasn't, I sure deserve it." "I'm being melodramatic." "How can I help you?" "I want to help you." "Jessica." "Oh, it's my... my friend." "I called her." " Hi." " Hi." "I thought you said you were here alone." "No." "I was talking to... this is my ex-husband Ray." " We're friends." " I can see that." "Hi, I'm Lenore." "Hi, I'm Ray." "Hi."