"♪♪ [THEME SONG]" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪" "♪ Turtle power ♪" "♪ They're the world's ♪" "♪ Most fearsome fighting team ♪" "We're really hip." "♪ They're heroes in the half shell ♪" "♪ And they're green ♪" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ When the evil Shredder attacks ♪" "♪ These turtle boys don't cut him no slack ♪" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ Splinter taught them to be ninja teens ♪" "He's a radical rat." "♪ Leonardo leads ♪" "♪ Donatello does machines ♪" "That's a fact, Jack." "♪ Raphael is cool, but rude ♪ Gimme a break." "♪ Michelangelo is a party dude ♪" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪" "♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪" "♪ Turtle power ♪" "[MICHELANGELO] I'm telling you, I saw some guys down here." "[DONATELLO] So?" "They were probably maintenance men." "[MICHELANGELO] No way, bud." "They looked more like businessmen." "Michelangelo, what did we tell you about eating jellybean and sausage pizzas before you go to sleep?" "I didn't dream this, compadre!" "They were right here!" "[CLATTER]" "Everyone, be careful." "Yeah...they might be autograph-hunters." "Okay, boys." "Get to work." "[JACKHAMMER]" "Nobody make a sound." "They can't do that to our sewers!" "Yah!" "[LEONARDO] Heeyah!" "[MICHELANGELO] Cowabunga!" "Just what do you think you're doing?" "These aren't your sewers." "Yeah?" "Well, it ain't yours either, spunky." "And unless you can show us an official city I.D.," "I suggest you get out of here." "I've heard about you turtles." "You're nothing but a bunch of trouble-makers." "And in a few days, all this will belong to Donald J. Lofty." "You green pests haven't seen the last of me!" "Well, there's a pleasant thought for the day." "Guys, I think we have a bit of a problem on our hands." "[BEBOP] What are you doing, boss?" "None of your business." "Aw, gee, we just wanna help." "[KRANG] You can help by getting back to your cleaning duties!" "With this new super-charged mutagen, we can create an entire army of super-mutants." "No force on Earth will be able to stop us." "We'll rule the world!" "We're conquer the universe!" "Oh, goody!" "You klutz." "Look what you've done!" "Just for that, you'll clean all of the Technodrome's lower decks!" "Aw, all of them?" "Now we'll have to repair this electrode before we can proceed with the experiments." "[BEBOP] Boy, it's going to take us weeks to get this place cleaned up." "It sure would go quicker if we had some help." "What we need is someone to do all our work like the boss has." "Yeah, but the boss has a pair of" "[BOTH] Mutants!" "Ooh, ooh!" "If we could get our hands on a little of that new super mutagen..." "We could have our own mutants!" "We'd never have to work again." "Aw, but we ain't got no animals to mutate." "Yes, we do." "My pet Slash." "You got a pet?" "How come you never told me?" "Uh, oh, well, uh, you'll see." "[APRIL] Welcome to another edition of Face the Issues, the show that puts the issues right in your face." "My guest on location today is Fenton Q. Hackenbrush, developer for Donald J. Lofty Enterprises." "Mr. Hackenbrush, since you took charge," "Lofty Enterprises has begun some rather unusual projects, such as the controversial space scow, designed to carry millions of tons of trash into space." "Yes, Ms. O'Neil." "This is our solution to the city's mounting garbage problem." "And what about the mysterious sewer project" "Lofty Enterprises is involved with?" "Yeah, nutball." "What about it?" "Nothing mysterious about it." "We've offered to refurbish the city's entire sewer system in exchange for the rights to develop a small portion of the sewers for commercial use." "Huh, a "small portion"?" "He said it was all going to belong to Donald Lofty." "In addition, it will help to flush out the worst menace in the city, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." "They're a bunch of reptilian delinquents and we demand that they be put behind bars." "Or at least in a really big glass bowl." "Okay, that settles it." "[SHUTS OFF TV] This jerk doesn't get to be a charter member of our fan club." "Yeah, you think that dude's trying to pull a fast one on the city?" "He's up to something and we've got to find out what it is." "Here, Slash." "Daddy has a friend for you to meet." "[ROCKSTEADY GASPS]" "Boy, now I see why you never told nobody." "The boss would really be ticked if he found out you had a pet turtle." "[BEBOP] You got the goop?" "Quick!" "We gotta pour it on." "Slash?" "Where'd he go?" "This'll work." "He loves this." "Here Slashy washy." "See?" "It's his favoritest thing in the whole world." "Now to give him a shot of the juice." "Whoops!" "Used a little too much." "Wow!" "Daddy?" "What am I doing here?" "What's going on?" "We're going to work now." "That's what's going on." "No." "Why should I work for you?" "Look, Slash." "My b--binky!" "My most favorite thing in the whole world!" "We're going to turn this whole area into luxury condominiums." "The city will be without a sewer system." "And we'll be out of a home." "The city is so overcrowded, there's no place left to build." "Here we can provide the finest in subterranean living." "Now, here's where we put the parking lot." "[RAPHAEL] That's what you think, bub!" "Didn't I tell you these turtles were a menace?" "You're trying to rip off the city, dude!" "And when they find out about it, your little plan will be sunk." "[RAPHAEL] Yeah, now beat it!" "The sewer's too good for the likes of you." "It's time to do something about those turtles!" "There." "You look just beau-ti-ful." "My binky, where is it?" "You can have it again..." "After you get rid of all the cobwebs." "Kind of pushy, ain't you?" "Gee, he sure takes after you." "Well, you know what they say." ""Like father, like mutant."" "[GOOFY LAUGH] My binky!" "[GROWLS]" "That's enough for now." "You can see it again after you sweep the floor." "You guys are starting to make me mad." "[DEEPLY INHALES]" "[COUGHING]" "[BEBOP] Uh-oh." "Where's my binky?" "Uh, I seem to have misplaced it." "W--w--what?" "I want my binky!" "And you'd better find it!" "Ugh!" "Ooh, now you've done it." "Uh-oh." "Shredder's Shaolin swords." "We gotta stop him before he wrecks the whole joint!" "I think he's too strong for us." "Then we gotta get rid of him somehow." "Get that portal fired up." "Where's my binky?" "I want it!" "There it is." "It went that way." "It better be!" "Mama!" "[SIGHS] At least we got rid of him." "Yeah, but now we'd better clean up this mess before the boss catches us." "Okay, where's my binky?" "I'll tear this whole place apart until I find it!" "Where's my binky?" "[SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE]" "[LOUDLY GRUNTS]" "[ALARM RINGS]" "[PHONE RINGING]" "April here." "April, it's Donatello." "Can you meet us in ten minutes at The Flying Pizza Inn?" "I'm on a deadline, guys!" "But we've got proof that Fenton Q. Hackenbrush's sewer plan is a fraud." "Oh, this had better be good." "Now, have you four boys got the plan?" "You've got to commit a daring crime we can blame on the turtles, so if they blab to the authorities, no one will believe them." "Now, I want you men to do a bank robbery." "But we don't know how to crack a safe." "All right, so maybe a hold-up." "Uh, we don't have a gun." "Well, what crimes do you know?" "Eh, embezzlement?" "Oh, who ever heard of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle embezzlers!" "Credit card fraud?" "Those aren't daring crimes!" "I've got to ruin those turtles' reputation somehow." "[CRUMBLING]" "[CAR HORN BLARING, TIRES SCREECHING]" "What where you are going!" "Who is he?" "He's not one of those other turtles." "Hey, you!" "Come here." "I want to talk to you." "Have you got my binky?" "Your binky?" "It's my--my palm tree." "I--I want it!" "Uh, no, I don't have it." "But I could get you one." "You could?" "Of course!" "And a great big palm tree, too!" "A whole bunch of them!" "Why, I could even set you up with a condo in Florida." "What's a Florida?" "It's a magical place where palm trees grow right out of the ground." "And I suppose you want me to do something for you." "That's it!" "I want you to go to the Freedom Bell." "The what?" "The Freedom Bell, the city's most beloved landmark." "What are you, some kind of foreigner?" "As a matter of fact, I am." "Just go there and smash it!" "And smash everything you can on your way there." "Then meet me at this address and we'll get you your palm trees." "Just go, smash!" "Have fun with it!" "This is great!" "When those turtles get blamed for wrecking the Freedom Bell, nobody will believe them!" "I'll smash anything to get a palm tree!" "Eyuh!" "[LEONARDO] Come on, we've got to be on time for our meeting with April." "[A LA HUMPHREY BOGART] Then we'll blow the lid off this sewer caper." "[NORMAL VOICE] Oh, I feel so hard-boiled in these trench coats." "Hey, guys..." "I'm stuck!" "[DONATELLO] Boy, is it ever caught." "Don't rip it!" "You'd better take it off." "Uh, guys..." "[COMMOTION]" "Look, it's the Turtles!" "What are they so miffed about?" "They're the ones who smashed my car!" "They're the ones who wrecked my store!" "We are?" "They sure think we are." "Run!" "[DONATELLO] This doesn't make sense!" "We didn't do any of those things." "Try telling them that." "Here they come!" "There, just like new." "What the devil's going on here?" "What happened to this door?" "Um..." "I slipped on a banana peel when I came in?" "Krang, get up here!" "You two have got a lot of explaining to do!" "Those Turtles said they'd be here by now." "Where are they?" "[CAR HORN HONKS]" "A palm tree!" "You're not a palm tree." "[SNIFFING]" "I don't know what it is, but it sure smells good." "[CRASH] Rah!" "[APRIL] There you are!" "Where did you get that stupid disguise?" "Hey, I'm on a deadline." "I don't have all night to waste." "And I've got to cover the launching of the space scow at dawn." "Will you quit eating and talk to me?" "What's this hot story you've got?" "[GROWLING, SLURPING]" "Don't just look at me." "I need some answers." "Will you cut it out?" "I didn't come all this way just to watch you eat!" "Back off, lady!" "O--okay." "Don't have a fit!" "[SCREAMS]" "What's gotten into him?" "[SCREAMING]" "Now I'm ready to go smash the Freedom Bell." "And so, that's what happened." "You mean you made your own super-mutant turtle... and didn't even tell us?" "And then you let him get away?" "But he was wrecking' the joint." "Who cares?" "We could have used a mutant like that." "You're going to have to get him back!" "[BOTH GULP]" "[DONATELLO] Well, at least we got away from that mob." "There's something mega fishy about all this, dudes." "Hackenbrush must be trying to ruin our reputation so no one will believe us." "Hey, there's someone who'll believe us." "Oh, no you don't!" "Stay back!" "What's the matter, April?" "You know darn well what the matter is!" "Which one of you thought it would be cute to turn my van into a sardine can?" "What are you talking about?" "We've been trying to meet up with you." "Yeah, but this angry mob's been chasing us all night." "Then that must have been some other turtle." "Oh, great." "Just what this show needs, another mutant turtle." "But he looked like you." "He even liked pizza." "Then he's been doing all the stuff we're getting blamed for." "And he said something about smashing the Freedom Bell!" "The Freedom Bell?" "That unpatriotic dude!" "I just hope I can get another news van in time to cover the space scow launch." "[RAPHAEL] All right, buster!" "Hold it right there!" "There ain't enough room in this town for five mutant turtles!" "Oh, yeah?" "There's only one box turtle: me!" "Yugh!" "Yah!" "Ah, gee, that was my favorite bo." "[GROWLING] Whoa!" "[SPLASH]" "[GRUNTING LOUDLY]" "Whoa!" "This is going to be tougher than I thought." "You're giving turtles a bad name, pal." "Whoa!" "[YELLING]" "[BELL TOLLS]" "Uh-oh." "Catch it!" "I can't believe I'm doing this." "Now to find that man and get my palm tree." "[LEONARDO] Well" "[WINCES] --we saved the Freedom Bell." "[RAPHAEL] Yeah, but we wrecked our backs." "[DONATELLO] We'd better get out from under here." "[MICHELANGELO] Whatever rings your chimes, dudes." "Come on, let's stop that gonzo turtle." "[PHONES RINGING]" "[WOMAN] Mr. Hackenbrush isn't here right now." "He's with all the others at the space scow launch on the other side of town." "Okay, but he'd better have my reward!" "[SHREDDER] This Techno-wing will get you there in a hurry." "And don't come back without that turtle!" "Krang, the portal!" "[HACKENBRUSH] I'm telling you those turtles must be stopped!" "They've been on a rampage all night." "Why, I heard they even destroyed the Freedom Bell." "And just how would you know that, Mr. Hackenbrush?" "Uh, well" "I have very good sources." "And isn't it true there's a fifth turtle who's been causing all the destruction, and that he's your employee?" "Preposterous!" "What would I be doing with a bunch of smelly turtles?" "Why, I've never even seen a turtle in my life." "I broke the bell for you." "Now where's my reward?" "[AWKWARD LAUGH] Uh, do I know you?" "[LEONARDO] Come on, we've got to find him." "Yeah, but what are we going to do with him when we find him?" "[MICHELANGELO] Check it out, dudes!" "I swear I've never met this turtle before in my life!" "[ANNOUNCER] The trash is being loaded" "You lying creep!" "It would serve you right if I just stole your stinking rocket and trashed this whole city!" "If he dumps that rocket on the city, it'll be a catastrophe." "Not to mention a mess." "[RAPHAEL] More bad news." "Aw, nuts!" "It's just the regular turtles." "Oh, yeah?" "What's so regular about us?" "Under normal circumstances, we'd just love to stick around and pound your shells flat..." "But we gotta find that other turtle, Slash." "You're after that maniac, too?" "W--Whoa!" "Hey, where you goin'?" "Sorry, boys." "We want that turtle worse than you do." "[ANNOUNCER] Please clear the service structure and pad of all non-operational personnel." "What's going on here, Hackenbrush?" "[STUTTERING] Nothing, uh, Mr. Lofty." "[ENGINES IGNITING]" "[LOFTY] He's engaged the manual controls!" "Now to mess this city up." "[LEONARDO] Somebody's going to have to get on that rocket." "[MICHELANGELO] Then what are we waiting for, dudes?" "Cowabunga!" "It's the Turtles!" "I thought you said those turtles were outlaws." "[APRIL] His turtle's an outlaw." "My turtles are heroes!" "You jerks just made a bad move." "[YELLING]" "We're going to have to distract him so I can get to those controls." "April said he dug pizza." "[GRUNTING]" "Yah!" "[MICHELANGELO] Pizza time, dude!" "Give me that pizza!" "Oh, no!" "[GEARS MOVING]" "[MICHELANGELO] Whoooa!" "I want that pizza!" "What?" "No pizza?" "You tricked me!" "Everybody tricks me!" "This is bad news, bud!" "[WAILING]" "Aw, now we're really in trouble." "He smashed the controls." "The rocket will go straight up forever." "Time to boogey!" "You creeps!" "Guys, I hope you're with us." "[MICHELANGELO] Cowabuuuuungaaaa!" "[SLASH] This sure has been a rotten day." "Binky!" "Hurry up, Krang!" "Lock it in!" "[SHREDDER] We have him!" "That's what you think!" "Get trashed!" "Ah!" "[SLASH] Wee-hee-hee-hee-hee!" "All right, Hackenbrush, you've got some explaining to do!" "Do you know this guy was going to wipe out the whole sewer system so he could build condos?" "So, you were going to deceive the whole city, were you?" "This isn't the first time you four have helped me." "I promise that as long as I'm around, the sewers will be safe." "And you...are fired!" "[SIGHS] The good ol' sewers" "They may be smelly..." "And damp..." "And kind of disgusting." "[LEONARDO] But they're our home." "How true, my wards." "The quality of a home is not its size or opulence, but the quality of the people who live there." "[DONATELLO] Amen to that." "On the other hand, a clean, dry penthouse apartment would be nice for a change." "♪♪ [THEME SONG]" "Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc." "Burbank, CA"