"Balki?" "Balki?" "Is that you?" "Balki?" "Balki, what's going on?" "Ooh!" "Cousin?" "Cousin, are you all right?" "Fine." "It's a good thing I put that cushion there." "You could have hurt yourself." "Yes, it's a real piece of luck." "In just one minute, I was gonna move this cushion over there and then you would eat the rug." " Balki." "Why are you rearranging the furniture in the middle of the night?" "Interesting question." "Because I need more floor space to do aerobics." "I was in the middle of this one which tightens and firms the entire hamstring area and the lower buttocks." "Balki, you're doing aerobics at 3 a." "M?" "Actually, at the moment, I'm stretching and toning." "And in and over and in..." " Balki." "Balki." "Balki." "We are four hours away from Mr. Twinkacetti's monthly going-out-of-business sale." "We have to get some sleep." "Well, Balki's not tired." "You have to be tired." "You couldn't have had more than a couple hours' sleep." "But that reminds me:" "I have a friend who can't sleep." "There's nothing wrong with him, is there?" "Balki, are you having trouble sleeping?" " Of course I'm not." "Don't be ridiculous." "It's my friend, my best friend." " I'm your best friend." "That's a good point, a very good point." "It's all right." "Nothing to worry about." "Everyone has trouble sleeping every now and again." "Well, he was wondering, is every now and again more than four nights in a row?" "How long have you had trouble sleeping?" " Four nights in a row." "Balki what you have got is a classic case of insomnia." "Oh, no." "I knew it was something terrible." "Okay, give it to me straight." "How long have I got?" "Fifty or 60 years." "Fifty or 60 years." "Oh, my God." "A slow death." "Balki, insomnia is just what they call it when you can't sleep." "All right." "Now, I'm going to help you get to sleep." " How you do that?" "Well, how do you normally fall asleep on Mypos?" "Well, we close our eyes and we wait for Princess Reva." "Princess Reva?" "Who is Princess Reva?" "Princess Reva." "She the beautiful fairy princess that hold all the sleeping people in her arms and protect them until morning." "Don't she come to America?" "No, she don't come to America." "Well, what do you do in America?" " Well, here we wait for the sandman." "What do he do?" " He makes you sleepy by throwing sand in your eyes." "Well, if it's all the same to you, I'll hold out for the princess." "All right." "Balki, what we're going to do is put your body to sleep one part at a time starting with your feet and working our way up to your head, okay?" "Lie down." "Okay." "Now close your eyes and say good night to your toes." "Say good night to my toes?" "Now say good night to your feet." " Good night, feet." "Say good night to your legs." " Good night, legs." "Say good night to your fingers." " Good night, fingers." "Balki?" "Where would this kid be without me?" "All right." "What, what?" "What is it?" " What happened?" "You were asleep a few seconds and something made you scream." "You must have had a nightmare." "Do you remember?" "Well, of course I don't." "Don't be ridiculous." "I was asleep." "But I'm wide awake now." "My heart is beating like a little bunny rabbit." "All right, all right, all right." "Look, just relax." "I'll stay up with you." "No, cousin, you don't have to do that." "I be okay." "Well, this can't go on forever." "Sooner or later, your body will tell you when it's ready to sleep." "Well, if it says anything to me, I'll let you know." "All right." "Good night." " Good night." "Cousin?" "Oh, I see." "No, it was just telling me that it's hungry." "Balki, you didn't sleep all night." "You must be exhausted." "Why don't you go upstairs and get some rest?" "Cousin, no." "I stayed up for four nights." "I can do one day more." " Balki..." "Cousin, I have to help you with this sale." "Look at the people out there." "TWINKACETTl:" "Back, back, back." "Come on, ladies." "Help me out." "Open, open, open." "Ladies." "Open up." "Save me." "Appleton." "Appleton." "Not now, not now." "You'd think I was having a real sale." "People are so gullible." "Good morning, Mr. Twinkacetti." " Yeah." "All right, Balki, we've got to..." "Balki?" "Balki?" "Balki?" "Balki." "Balki, wake up, wake up." "Balki." "Balki, this is not a good place to nap." "Remember when you told me that my body would tell me when it time to sleep?" "Yes." " Well, it's talking to me like crazy." "All right, Balki." "Balki?" "Balki, all right." "Balki, don't listen to your body, listen to your buddy." "Come on, come on, we're gonna go upstairs and put you to bed." "Come on, okay." "Come on, up." "All right." "Okay, okay." "All right, Balki." "Balki, come on." "Up, up, up, we go." "Up, up, Balki." "Up." "Now, come on, come on." "Up, come on." " Okay, up, up." "All right, come on." "We're going upstairs." "We're going upstairs now." "Here we go." "Here we go." "Come on." "Come on, we're here." "Balki?" "Balki?" "No." "Balki." "Balki, no." "Come on." "Balki?" "Balki?" "The best thing for you to do is stay out of the way, okay?" "Okay." " Come on, come on." "Here we go." "Here we go." "Here we go." "Come on." "All right." "Okay, good." "Do you work here?" " Oh, I'll put that in your car for you." "Excuse me, would you mind taking that, please?" "Thank you." "All right, come on." "Balki?" "Okay." "Stay here." "Cousin, I'm going to be all right." "I'm going to help you with this sale." "That set is $89, marked down from 92." "I thought you said this was a sale." "You broke it, you bought it." "All right, we have to make sure you don't stay up for another three days then fall asleep during Mr. Twinkacetti's annual water-damage sale." "Now, I found some of my old college psych books." "We have to find out what's causing your nightmare." "The answer is inside your head." "We have to get in there and find what we're looking for." "Does this involve cutting?" "In college we studied ways to get into the subconscious." "Now, we'll start with word association." "I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind." "How do I know if I say the right thing?" " There is no right or wrong." "Really?" " Yes." "Ready?" " Ready." "In." " Out." "Up." " Down." "I like this game." "I'm glad." "Black." " White." "Short." " Tall." "Door." " Eggs." "Eggs?" "Chicken." "No, no." "I say door and the first thing you think of is eggs?" "Right." " Wrong." "You're good at it too." "No, no." "That makes no sense to say "eggs" after I say door." "Well, of course it does." "Don't be ridiculous." "When you said "door," I remembered the time that Uncle Stavros closed Aunt Sophia's hand in the door." "We had to take her to the doctor." "He charged so much money to fix up her that we can't pay it." "And we have to give him one dozen eggs from our hen, Hilda, every week for a year." "So you see, it makes perfect sense." "And don't you feel just a little bit stupid?" "That's it." "I'm out of here." " No, no, cousin." "No, no, I'll be good." "All right, all right, all right." "All right." "Well, we'll have to try something else." "In college, we had an exercise where we went back into the dream state." "Would that be New Jersey?" "No." "No, that's the Garden State." "Now, this exercise let's you..." "Let's you relive your dream, all right?" "Now, I want you to clear every thought from your head." "I know it's not easy but you have to concentrate..." "No, I did it." "My mind is empty." "All right, we're going back into your dream." "Tell me what you see." "I see little white cars." " What are they doing?" "They're coming toward me." "Their engines are roaring like thunder." "And I want to run but I can't move." "And they're coming closer to me and I think they're going to crush me." " All right, Balki?" "Balki?" "Balki?" "Whoa, baby." "We should have gone to New Jersey." "All right." "I think we know what woke you up." "Have you had this same dream the past few nights?" "I think so." "Well, Balki, the only way to get rid of this nightmare is to figure out what it means." "We're gonna have to talk about it." "No, we're not." " Oh, yes, we..." "Oh, no, we're not." " Yes, we are, Balki." "We're going to talk about your dream." "Cousin, before I talk about that dream again, it'll be a cold day in December." "Balki, you've got to tell us about your dream." "Who wants more popcorn?" " Nobody wants popcorn." "Now, Balki, was this dream in black and white or color?" "I'll make hot chocolate." "Everybody likes that." "This is fun." "I've never been to a dream-interpretation party before." "You know, Larry, I get the feeling Balki doesn't wanna talk about this." "Balki, it's 3 a.m." "We have to solve your problem." "You can't let this nightmare take over your life." "Cousin, I don't want to talk about it." "Balki, everybody has nightmares." "They're nothing to be afraid of." "Dreams are nothing more than windows to our subconscious that should be opened to let in the fresh air of reason." "Mary Ann, did you just read that?" "No." "Sometimes late at night I start to make sense." "Scary, huh?" "Look, guys, it's really late." "We have to get up for an early flight." "If we don't get some sleep, we'll wind up spilling things on the passengers." "They hate that." "Thanks for trying to help." "Good luck, Balki." " Pleasant dreams." "Sorry." "Come on, Mary Ann." " Good night, Jennifer." "Good night." "Well, what do you want to do?" "Go to an all-night movie?" "Balki, we have to find out what your dream means so we both can get some sleep." "Cousin, I don't want to talk about it." " Well, you've got to talk about it." "Well, you can't make me." "I'm leaving." " All right." "All right." "I'll figure it out myself." "Aha!" "Oh." "Well..." "Yes, that's something." "Mm." "Mm-mm-mm." "Cousin, I want to see the book." " No." "I want to see the book." "I want to see." " No, you can't see." "No, you can't." "All right." "All right, you can see the book." "But only if you answer one question." " Okay." "Where are the cars in your dream going?" "Into a big garage." "Now, give me the book." " Not yet." "Why are they going there?" "I don't know why they're going into the barn." "Balki, you said "barn," not "garage."" "That is a big breakthrough." "We're on to something." "Do you realize what this means?" " You're not gonna give me the book?" "You're going into a barn." "Cars don't belong in a barn, animals do." "Maybe the cars represent some kind of animals." "Rabbits, cats, dogs." " Sheep?" "No, no, no, it would have to be some kind of farm animal." "Horses..." " Sheep." "I've got it." "Cows." " Sheep." "Sheep." "Yes, yes." "Sheep." "But why would you be afraid of sheep?" " I don't know." "I love sheep." "Sheep are man's best friend." "Maybe you only think you love sheep but you are jealous of all the attention your parents gave the sheep." "What do you think?" "Uh, no." "They treated us all equally." "Well, why would you be dreaming of sheep now?" "It's Bopoltide." "Ah." " Oh." "What's Bopoltide?" "Well, it's the time of year when all the Mypiot people shear off the wool of the sheep to sell, to get money." "And my mother and father and the whole family, get up very early because the wool buyer come to Mypos for only one day." "And if the wool is not ready when he come to the door then he goes right to the next farm and we don't have any money to buy food." "And my mama and papa and the whole family they work very hard." "But I am not there to help them." "And maybe..." "Maybe they don't finish in time and then maybe they're hungry." "And it's my fault." "Balki, that's why you're having your dream." "You think you're letting them down." "You feel guilty." "Balki, it's gonna be all right." " No, cousin." "I don't see how." "Well, you'll call." "You'll tell them you're sorry you can't be there." "Well, it must be daytime there now, right?" "Come on, you'll make the call." "Cousin, already they're tired from too much working and there's only one phone on Mypos." "And it's way the other side of the island." "And after they get the messenger pigeon, they have to..." "They have to pack a lunch, they get into the oxcart and they have to drive many, many miles to get to the phone booth." "One phone?" "Well, yes." "But it has call waiting." "I'll place the call." "Mama." "Oh, what, what, what?" " I told Mama that I feel bad because I can't help with the sheepshearing." "Balki?" "What, what?" " Mama said that they bought an electric sheepshearer with the money I sent." "Balki?" "What?" " And she said that it did the work in half the time and they are so happy, they had the big celebration." "Balki?" "Mama." "Bye, Mama." "You all right?" "Yes." "Cousin, what do you call when something squeeze your heart and make you wish you were with your family?" "That's called being homesick." "Balki, it's perfectly natural to miss your family and wanna be with them." "Well, most of the time, I'm very happy that I come here." "You are a good family to me." "But, once in a while, when I know that my Mypos family is all together then I wish I was in my chair at the table." "Because Papa sits here and Uncle Stavros sits there and it's a place of honor, you know." "Well, maybe you should call home more often." "It won't be like being in your chair but at least you'll hear their voices." "I think you're right." "Cousin, I'm very sorry that I made so much trouble for you." "Now, don't be silly." "I was worried about you." "You know, I'm glad you made me look Mr. Fear right in the face." "He's not so bad when you realize he's just a sheep." "Well, I know you'd do the same for me." "Listen, if anything is ever, ever bothering you you let me know." "Well, well, actually, there is something I've wanted to talk to you about." "But things have been so crazy around here that it just hasn't been a good time." "But I just wanted to..." "I just wanted to know what you thought about Jennifer and I, you know?" "I don't know, is she interested in me or?"