"BEAUTIFUL BOY (2010)" "Who's that?" "Who's that jumping on my camera?" "Who's that?" " Peek a boo, I see you." " Hello." " Oh no, it was switched off." " No." "Really?" "I don't know." "How can you see me through that?" " How?" " Oh, can I see?" " Can you see him?" " Wait." " Can you see us?" " Wait." "No." ""As the boy and girl ran out from their station wagon, the beach was happy." "It was happy to have their small footprints upon it." "It was happy to have holes dug with plastic shovels." "It was even happy to have paper wrappers blowing about after they'd gone." "But the beach knew that there would no longer be this to look forward to." "No more careless play, only lonely snowfalls to mark the beginnings of an endless winter."" "Whoa!" "Nice kick." ""The beach loved the boy and the girl, though it had no way of telling them." "And it knew that this was their last time together." "Things would be different from now on." "They didn't know if they would be better or worse, but for certain things would change."" "Hey, chief." "Bill." "We're doing the thing now..." "Carl's baby shower." "Right." "Right." "Hey, it's Sam." "Leave me a message and I'll call you back." "Hi." "I haven't heard from you for a while, so I'm just calling to see how things are." "I'm sure you're crammed with exams." "Um, okay, call me when you get a chance." "It's Mom, by the way." " Oh, hi." "Cooper?" " Kate, hi." "Cooper Stearns." "Hi." "Pleased to meet you." "How are you?" "Good." "Can I get you anything?" " A coffee?" " No no, thanks." "I'm good." "I can't do caffeine in the afternoon or I won't be able to sleep all night." "Oh God, I live on the stuff." "It's how I got this thing finished." "Oh my goodness." "Congratulations!" "Well, don't congratulate me until you've read it." "Well, I'm just the spellchecker, but I'm sure it's wonderful." "It's a big deal getting published." "It's not Simon  Schuster, but my mom's real proud." "I bet she is." "So her dad put all the different essential fluids in the trunk in plastic soda bottles... coolant in a Coke bottle, oil in Mountain Dew and wiper fluid in Sprite..." "you know, like that." " Don't tell me she drank it." " No no, but one day she's... she's driving around and the car overheats." "So, you know, she opens the hood, and she looks at it like a seasoned mechanic, and she says, "I think it's a little low on Dr. Pepper."" "Hey, it's Sam." "Leave me a message and I'll call you back." "Hi, hon." "It's Mom again." "Let's go somewhere this summer..." "a little family vacay." "It's been forever since we did it." "Anyway, love you." "Call me later." "Bye." " Hi, Bonnie." " Hey." " Let me help you with that." " Thank you." " How's Nikki doing?" " She's in a funk." " Trying to lose her freshman 15." " Oh no." " How's Sammy?" " He's good." " I just left him a message." " Oh please." "I told Nikki if she doesn't start taking my calls, she's gonna have to pay her own phone bill." "Thank you." "Ooh, the steaks are beautiful, by the way." "On sale... $3.99 a pound." "Ah, it might rain tomorrow." "What?" "It might rain." "Hey, how's your steak?" "Is it too well done?" "No, it's good." " Did Carl like the baby blanket?" " Uh, yeah yeah." "Good." "So I think I found a place." "I'm gonna call about it tomorrow." "Wait, don't put that in there." "You need to rinse it cleaner." "Well, then what's the point?" "We should just wash them all by hand." "It's the way things are done." " I thought we decided to wait." " Uh, I don't know." "I just thought maybe I should put a deposit down." "That was the whole point of the family vacation, right?" "We're gonna spend some time together away from everything, figure stuff out." " I know, I know." " Well, is that not the plan anymore?" " Let me know." " No, I didn't say I was moving out." "I just..." "look, forget it." "It just looked like a good place, that's all." "No no no, if you don't want to go on this vacation, I understand." " Just say so." " No, I didn't say that." " Honestly, I can just..." " I did not say that." " Okay, what did you say?" " L... nothing." "I don't know." "I just think you're putting a lot of pressure on one vacation." "I'm going to bed." "Okay." "Thanks." "So what about Miami?" "We're not really the beach type, are we?" "Yeah, anyway." " Goodnight." " Goodnight." "Ah!" " Hi, stranger." " Hey." "Where you been?" " You must be studying like crazy." " Hello?" "It's Sammy." "Hey, since I have you both on the phone, can we please figure out where we're going for vacation?" " I thought you said Miami." " No." "I wanted us all to decide together." "Oh, I don't care." "You two pick." " Whatever's fine." " Fine." "Fine, I'll book Miami." "I'll book it tonight." "So how are you doing, Sam?" "You got enough money?" "Mm-hmm." "Car holding up?" "Yeah." "Car's good." "Good good." "Okay, well, I'm gonna get some shut-eye." "Don't study too hard." "All right." "Bye, Dad." "You sound a little tired." "Are you getting enough sleep?" "No, not really, but I'm gonna..." "I'm gonna go to bed here in a minute." "I have an early class in the morning, so..." "Okay." "But listen, it'll get easier." "College is an adjustment." "At least you have a lot of company." "All your friends are going through the same thing, believe me." "Hey, guess what." "I ran into Nikki's mom." "She said she gained a lot of weight." "Have you seen her lately?" "Hon?" "Did you know that snowflakes always have six sides?" "Uh, I thought they were all different." "Isn't that what they always say?" "Yeah, but they always have six sides." "It's, um, something to do with the... the positive and the negative charges in a water molecule." "I don't really understand it." "You know, even though supposedly they're all different, you know every single one of them, you can still count on all of them having six sides." "Yeah." "You should think about studying meteorology or chemistry instead of English lit or something." "It sounds like you like that sort of stuff." "Yeah, maybe." "Look, um, I gotta go." "Okay." "Study hard." "Bye, Mom." "Bye, honey." "Today on "Inside and Out"..." "I can teach you how to eat all your favorite foods..." " all the foods..." " 'Night." "A new way to speed up your metabolism really dramatically and you can reduce your waistline every single week." "I'm eating chocolate," "I'm eating pasta with cream sauce," "I'm eating pancakes and I lost 55 lbs." "#Forget I need to breathe #" "#And I wish you belonged to me, but it's too late... #" "Kate!" "Kate!" "Kate!" "We're waiting to get more details on the victims as there has been a conflicting number of fatalities reported so far...  ...mostly students, but at least three faculty members are among the 17 people known dead." "We're still trying to get information on..." "They are now saying 21 are confirmed dead." "Oh my God." "Damn it, Nikki, answer the phone." "And we hope this number doesn't get any larger." "Hey, it's Sam." "Leave me a message and I'll call you back." "Hi... hi, Sammy, it's Mom." "Call me back as soon as you can, all right?" "Love you." "It's okay, it's fine." "They're fine." "Bonnie:" "I'm just gonna go home." "Maybe she'll call the home phone." "Hey, it's Sam." "Newscaster #2:in the wake of what is now being called one of the deadliest campus shootings in history." "...university dorm building and later stepped into morning classes ...and opened fire on students and faculty." "It's still not known whether..." "I can't get him on his cell, but he never answers that thing, right?" "Everyone's probably trying to call." "The towers are jammed." "We should just go down there right now." "I got through to someone in the dean's office." "The campus is completely locked down." " There's nothing we can do there." " So we just wait?" " What do we..." " I'm sure it's fine." "Oh, God, he said he had an early class this morning." "He's fine." "He's fine." "I promise." "Okay?" "Wait." "Sammy?" "No, hi." "Have you heard anything?" "I know." "Me neither." "None of the victims' names are being released at this time out of respect for the families." "However, students will be holding a vigil in honor of the deceased tonight." "Armed police are still arriving at the scene." "Students are being told to stay in lockdown in the dorms..." " Are you Mrs. Carroll?" " Yes." "I'm afraid we have some bad news." "No." "He's dead." " He's dead." " Yes, ma'am." "No, he's not." "No, he's not." " Can we come in?" " I knew..." "I knew..." "Ma'am, I'm afraid there's more." "At 7:15 this morning, your son Sam walked into a university building" " with two loaded weapons and..." " What?" "...opened fire on the students that..." " What?" " Ma'am, I know this is difficult, but I have some questions I need to ask you." "Liar!" "No, Bill." "No." "Did he say anything unusual?" "No." "He seemed... he seemed completely normal." "We were planning a vacation." "When do we get to, uh, see the body?" "Lt'll be a couple of days." "But I have to warn you... he died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, so he's pretty unrecognizable." "I'll give you two a moment." "They said he was unrecognizable, right?" "How can they be sure it's Sammy?" "It's not him." "It's not him." "I can't remember which books go on which shelves." "I don't know." "He's gonna be so upset." "Oh God." "Hello?" "Speaking." "Sorry, uh, we have no comment." "Why aren't you answering that?" "There are all these news vans outside." "What?" "They must have released his name." "We just lost our son." "What do they want from us?" "We're news." "Ignore it." "We should go upstairs." "They'll start peeking in the windows." "Are they just gonna stay out there all day waiting?" "Come on." "Come on." "Is known beyond the shooter's identity." "Students from his dorm only say that he was quiet and kept to himself." "We go now to 7 News reporter Michael Call live outside the shooter's childhood home." "Turn that off." "Someone could see the light from outside." "They'll just start ringing the bell again if they find out we're home." "Kate:" "Are they still there?" "The last one's finally leaving." "But they'll probably be back in the morning." " I'm so sorry." " Thanks." " You redid the kitchen, huh?" " Yeah, a couple months ago." " It's nice." " You don't have to wait on us really." "It's nothing." "I've put some fresh towels in the bathroom." "Thanks." "This looks good." " Is Dylan asleep?" " Yeah." "You'll see him tomorrow." "Delicious." "What'd you marinate this in?" "Oh, it's just some bottled stuff I got at the supermarket." "I'm sorry." "I just can't believe it." "Was he okay?" "I mean before, you know?" "We thought so." "We... we didn't see him much." "The first year of college is always hard." "Being away from home alone, I guess." " Yeah, of course." " Was he depressed?" "Was he doing drugs?" " Trish." " I'm sorry." "Sorry." "Hey, did I tell you that Mom bought a new car?" "What kind?" "He was a little quieter than usual, that's all." "Which side do you want?" "Uh, it doesn't matter." "You pick." "Your brother's doing a nice job on the house." "This is probably worth twice what they paid by now." "Did you call work and tell them you won't be in for a while?" "No." "They're gonna be staked out at your office too." " Here you go." " Thanks." "And uh..." "Thanks, I mean for..." "Oh no." "Hey, come on, you're family." "If you need anything, you know, just ask." "Morning." "There she is." "How'd you sleep?" "Uh, well, thank you." "Good morning there, Dylan." "How you doing?" "Trish taught him to read the nutritional labels." "Trish:" "And that backfired." "Now all he wants to eat are the ones with 13g of sugar per serving." "Oh my goodness." "And you let him, huh?" "Not always." "Can I make you any breakfast?" "Oh no, thank you." "Just some coffee please." "I got it." "I got it." " That looks good." " Yeah." "Here you go." "Come on, buddy." "You're done." "Only 15 minutes." "Then we get ready for school." "Mommy, Sammy's on TV!" "This was completely in your power to avoid today." "Except you only leave me one option." "Oh my God." "And now you all have blood on your hands." "You vandalized my heart." "Come on, sweetie." "Let's get ready for school." " But it's not 15 minutes yet." " Shh." "Sam:" "Maybe now you'll listen to me." " Okay, mister, time for bed." " But I'm not done." " Yes, you are." " No!" " Dylan, let's go." "Come on." " Buddy." "He is stubborn." "Sammy was like that too at his age." "We need to issue a statement." "What for?" "It's the right thing to do." "You know, I..." "I just mean something simple just expressing our remorse and sadness." "Remorse?" "If we don't give the victims' families something, they're gonna think we... we don't feel bad about what Sammy did." "Kate?" " Hey." " Hey." "Do you use bleach in your whites?" "Uh yeah, I think." "Katie, you know that he didn't mean that you don't feel bad." "It's just that you can't wait too long." " I know." " People aren't thinking straight and you gotta give them something so they know that you're on their side." "Eric, I know." "Okay." "We are deeply sorry for the devastation our son has caused." "Like all the victims' parents, we are shocked and utterly heartbroken." "Please allow us our privacy as we mourn the loss of our own son and try to find the strength to move on from this horrible, inexplicable tragedy." "Do you mind if I go?" "Sure." "That's okay, I've got it." " Thanks." " You're welcome." "Thinking about taking a walk." "It's good to be out of the house." "Yeah, Trish and your brother are being great, but after a while, I just want them to..." "I don't know... ignore me." "Mm." "Mm, do you smell the jasmine?" " Smell it?" " No." "It's that sweet, flowery thing." "You don't smell that?" "I thought that was you... your shampoo or your lotion or something." "Nah." "Trish gave us some Ambien in case we need it." "Did we do something?" "L..." "I mean, how could he do it?" "Did we do something?" " Did we not do something?" " No." "No." "We gave him everything he could want." "But he was..." "he was such a quiet kid." "He was lonely." "He never played with the neighbor kids." "We should have known that there..." "Why does it have to be our fault?" "Huh?" "We did the best we could." " Come on, let's go to sleep." " I don't want to go to sleep." " I want to talk about this." " What is there to talk about?" "You were a terrific mother." "We... we didn't do anything wrong." "Okay?" "Well, I'm tired." "I'm going to bed." "Okay, goodnight." "I was thinking maybe I'd go back to work tomorrow." "Okay." "I might swing by the house, get some mail, make sure everything's okay." "Bonnie said the reporters are still there." "Fine, I won't go." "I didn't say that." "You can do whatever you want." "You're not gonna be able to live there after all this, you know." "Maybe we should start talking to realtors." " Morning, Trish." " Morning." " Can I help?" " Oh no, I'm good." "Do you want me to get Dylan up for school?" " Oh, he's up." " Oh." "Maybe I can help him get dressed then." "Eric's doing that right now." " Please let me do something." " Oh." " You can make Dylan's lunch." " Great." "Hey, did you ever notice your fridge doors were uneven?" "See, this one's a little lower than the other." "I'll have Eric take a look at that." " Hey, Harry." "It's Bill." " Bill!" "Jesus, buddy, how are you doing?" "How's Kate?" "Fine." "Uh, fine." "She's tough." "So I..." "I was thinking things must be piling up" " pretty high there without me, huh?" " Don't even worry about it." "I talked to HR and got you four weeks of paid leave." "I figured you could use the time." "Oh well, you know, I don't mind coming in, making sure, you know, nothing's falling through the cracks." "Don't you worry about us, Billy boy." "You just take care of yourself." "And if there's anything I can do, you let me know." "Uh sure, okay." "Thanks." "Bye." "I thought you were going to work today." "Nope." "Good." "You can go to the cemetery with me." "Yeah, I'm just gonna go out for a bit first." "You can stop right up here." "This is good." "Thank you." "Keep the change." "I want you to eat just a little bit more, buddy." "Nice!" "Eric:" "Billy, is that you?" " You got a workout in." " Sit down, man." "Your wife made a feast." "Maybe you should take a shower first." "Yeah, I think I will." "Kate:" "Oh, sit sit." "I got it." "Dylan, would you like some pie and ice cream, sir?" " Yes, please." " I want you to eat one more." "One more, one more before you get ice cream." "Okay." " 'Night." " 'Night." "...in your bathroom." "It cuts through the nasty ring around the..." "And I know some of you are back home thinking, "Well, the parents are victims too."" "No, they're not." "They raised this kid." "And I don't care if he's a legal adult or not." "It's the parents who are ultimately responsible." "And we should find them, whatever rock they're hiding under, so the grieving parents can take a crack at 'em." "But here's the real question, folks:" "Do they have any other kids running around that I need to worry about?" "Because after their track record with this little bugger," "I don't really want to meet the rest of the family." "And I sure as hell don't want the little psycho going to school with one of my kids." "Hey, I'm still using that." "Dude, we've been waiting like a hour already." " Man, come on." " Dude, I'm still using it!" "All right." "Whatever." "Come on." "Hey." "Boy:" "Oh!" "Oh!" "You know I'm blocking it though." "Ooh!" "Ooh ho!" "Hey, it's Sam." "Leave me a message and I'll call you back." "Hi." "It's Dad." "I know you're not gonna get this, but I just..." "I wish you could have told me something was wrong." "You know, that's what I'm here for." "Well, uh..." "I just wanted to hear your voice was all." "Bye." "Please be seated." "Our prayers today go out to the family and friends of the victims of this terrible tragedy, especially our own Patty Larson who lost her youngest, Jillian." "There will be a memorial service tomorrow at noon." "All are welcome to attend." "Today we look at Luke 6:37..." ""Do not judge and you will not be judged." "Do not condemn and you will not be condemned." "Forgive and you will be forgiven."" "You gotta stay on me for eight seconds." "All right, are you ready?" "Okay, you're choking Daddy." "You're choking Daddy." "Ding ding ding ding ding." "Yeehaw!" "Then you gotta throw your hat up in the air." "You gotta throw your hat in the air." "You gotta throw your hat up in the air." "Kate:" "Okay." "There you go." "That's right." " Goodnight." " Goodnight." "That wasn't so hard, was it?" "Is Sammy bad?" "Uh, no." "He... well, sometimes good people do bad things by mistake." " Why?" " Hey, partner." "Come on, it's time for bed." "Hmm?" "One, two, three!" "Get some sleep." " You wanna?" " Yeah." " Goodnight, buddy." " Okay." "Do you want a song or a story?" " A song." " Okay." "Um... this is one that Sammy really liked when he was your age." "#It's all right, you can go to sleep #" "#Finally still and laughing #" "#So the world won't make you weep #" "#Dreaming until the sun is calling #" "#And the day will lift the sorrow #" "#And slow your mind from thinking #" "#While the man in the moon is winking #" "#"I love you..." #" "#It's all right #" "#You can close your eyes #" "#I'm never gone #" "#The night is falling #" "#And the moon will pull us through #" "#Starlight is almost twinkling #" "#While the sun is slowly sinking #" "#Into you. #" "So when does this grace period end?" "Yeah, I know it's an unusual case, but... no, don't transfer me ag... oh." " Who is it?" " It's the bank." "I'm trying to figure out when we can start paying off his loans." "That's what you're worried about now?" "Who cares when his student loans are due?" "I care." "This stuff needs to be cleaned up... credit card bills, his Facebook account, vacation deposit." "Tell me you're not trying to put our finances in order before we split up." "No, of course not." "Yes yes." " I'm trying to call about my son's..." " No, don't ignore me." " Don't ignore me!" " I'm not!" "It just took me 20 minutes to get the right person on the phone." "I cannot believe you are being so insensitive!" "What am I being, Kate?" "We have to try to start moving forward." "I don't want to get a surprise in the mail a year from now and have to relive this over again." "Right, so we're just going to erase his memory, erase our son's memory." " Is that it?" " We're back." "Yeah, that's what I want to do." "Can I have the phone?" " Hi there." " Look what I got!" "Oh, my goodness." "Look at you." "He got two gold stars." "Oh, you are such a smart guy." "All right, baby, go wash your hands." "Automated voice:" "You have one unheard message." "Hey, Kate, it's Coop." "Uh, Coop..." "Cooper Stearns." "I'm totally not calling to rush you about the book, not remotely." "I was just, you know, wondering how you were holding up." "Trying to convert me, huh?" "The mission of addicts and religious fanatics." "I haven't been sleeping much anyway, so..." "So, uh, sorry about everything that's..." "I mean, uh..." "God." "For a writer you have quite a way with words." "It's a... it's a talent." "So did he ever give any reason?" "Did you ever get a sense of why?" "No." "I guess as much as we want one, maybe sometimes there just isn't an explanation." "Right." "Anyway, I know you're eager to see this." "God, when I called, I totally wasn't trying to rush you or..." "No, please." "I was grateful for something to do, really." "Well, thanks for finishing so quickly." " Wow." " Oh, no no no." " That bad?" " No, don't worry about it." "It's not as bad as it looks." "L..." "I like a red pen, I guess." "It was good, the story." "Not that my opinion matters much." " I'm just the..." " The spellchecker." " Yeah." " Yeah, I know." " Yeah." " But thanks." " Um..." " I should probably get going." "Oh, okay." "Yeah." "Um, well, it was nice working with you." " You too." " And if I ever write a second book..." " When you write a second book." "...you'll be the first to read it," " you and your red pen." " Take care." "I picked up some cute little carrots for Dylan's lunch tomorrow." "Thanks." "He doesn't..." "he doesn't like raw carrots." "Well, you have to force kids at that age to eat healthy stuff." " I mean, Sammy..." " He just doesn't like them." "Okay." "Is he asleep?" "You know, he's been telling everyone his cousin's a TV star." "It's not, but it's almost kind of funny." "No, it's a problem." "He was playing shoot 'em up today." "All boys play shoot 'em up." "He's on a cowboy kick." "And your sister is all over him like every minute." "Do you know she fixed the fridge doors because they were uneven?" "Dylan sees Bill sleeping on the couch." "She's playing supermom." "I mean she's everywhere, doing everything like this is her house." "For Christ's sakes, they are not strangers." "He was part of our family too." "She's my only sister and she lost her son." "Stop being so selfish." "Just cut her some goddamn slack." "Dylan:" "No no no!" "Hey." "How was Sunday school?" " What happened?" " Some kids were picking on him." "They said he was going to hell, just like his cousin." " Excuse me." "Here you go." " Thank you." "This looks good, babe." "Hey, I just got off the phone with Roger." " Who's Roger?" " He's Bill's old college roommate." "He just got back from Europe and we're gonna put him out for a while." " What?" "No." " Yeah, he's been bugging me." " We owe him a visit." " It's up to you." "I mean, you're more than welcome to stay as long as you want." "You want to try going home?" "No." "So where do you want to go?" "I don't know." " Daddy, customer." " Okay." "Aman we still know very little about." "His motives are known only by speculation..." "He keeps watching that scary boy on TV." "...no real explanation before he took his own life and the lives..." "Doesn't matter how many times they show that kid going off, he still freaks me out, you know?" "He's like Charles Manson crazy." " Can I, uh, get a room?" " Yeah." "Which bed do you want?" "It doesn't matter." "Well, do you want to be closer to the bathroom or farther away from the AC?" "It doesn't matter." "Please, pick one." " You talk to Bonnie?" " No." "Bet the mail's piled up pretty high by now." "TV's broken." "And I know it's far away, but we can always go and stay at my stepmom's." "I just want to stay here." " Should we grab some dinner?" " I just want to lie here." "Okay." "The seven of clubs is missing." "Come on, we should go and eat something." "Come on." "I'll get some menus." "That lady's crying." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." " I'm sorr..." " Shh." "I'm so sorry." "We weren't the best parents in the world, but we weren't the worst either, right?" "Right." "I mean, there are worse parents out there." "But their kids didn't..." "Why did he...?" "I don't know." "The very best the vending world has to offer." "Dinner is served." "And dessert." "Wow." " Mm." " Whoa whoa." "Come on, come on." "Let's eat." "And you know what?" "For once I am gonna do the cooking for you." "It's a very very old family recipe handed down through the generations from my old Grandma Winnie." "Have I told you about Grandma Winnie?" " No." " Oh, she was a very wise old woman." "And this was her favorite dish." "I hope you like." " Ew." " Come on." " Really?" " Mm-hmm." " Mm." " Mm-mm." "No?" "No?" "Grandma Winnie couldn't cook for shit." " Not so much." " No." "Okay, well, for the second course we have... ah." " Ah, Funyuns." " Funyuns." " They're both fun and..." " And onions." "And onions, that's right." "Well, you know what?" "You can have those." "I'm gonna go for the Lance Fresh Toastchee crackers." "Not "cheese," "chee."" "Whoa!" "Ooh, wrong end." "Mmm." " Mmm." " Not bad." "Mm, it's a little dry." " You're so weird." " Mm-hmm." "More." "Thank you." " Bon appétit." " Mm." "I don't know why I never let Sammy eat junk food." " It's really quite nutritious." " Plus it's darned tasty." "Mm-hmm." "Cheers to that." "Ah!" "Oh, and you know the best part?" "Hmm?" "No dishes to rinse." "No, but all the crumbs in the bed." "Oh God!" "No crumbs in the bed!" " Stop it." "Stop it." " No crumbs in the bed." "Oh, that's so gross." "What time is it?" " Who cares?" " So what do you wanna do now?" " Let's play cards." " I thought you said one was missing." "Five-card draw." "Nothing's wild." "Right." "And what are we betting?" "What are we, 16 again?" "I fold." "Oh." " You're stuck." " Help!" "My head." "What day is today?" "Bill's voice:" "I have no idea." "You know we can't go on like this forever." "I know." "But we can do it for a little longer." "Yeah." "You want me to come with you?" "I'm just gonna make sure everything's okay, grab some clothes and come back." " The bills can wait, you know." " I'll be quick." "I'll let Bonnie know, so she doesn't accidentally call the cops on you." "Bye." "Yeah." "Dude, he's got an award for perfect attendance." "Yeah." "Nice." "What are you doing in here?" "Uh..." "What are you doing in my son's room?" "I'm sorry." "L..." "I didn't know you'd be here." "What are you doing in my son's room?" "!" "I can't breathe." "You fucking psycho!" "Ah!" "Kate:" "Bill?" "Yeah." "I'm back." " Did you see Bonnie?" " No." "I feel overdressed." "Good." "Look at you." "You changed your shirt." "The other one was getting a little ripe." "Yeah." " What happened to your hand?" " Oh, nothing." "I just..." "I cut it on a piece of glass." " It's fine." " Are you sure?" "It looks bad." "Yeah, it's fine." "It's fine." "Oh good, you got me some new clothes." "I'm sick of wearing the same thing." "Junk mail." "And what is this?" "Would someone be looking for a rematch?" "What?" " Is everything okay?" " Yeah yeah." "I'm just tired, you know?" "Yeah." "Oh my God, Bill." " Mom and Dad..." " Oh my God." "Oh my God." "...I'm sorry." "Please don't hate me." "Oh." "No, I don't..." "I don't want to see it again." "No, but... but it's Sammy." "It's our Sammy." " No, it's not." "It's not him." " Of course it is." "That's the real him, not what those awful television stations keep playing." " This is him." " No, it's not." "It's not." "Well, it was him until they changed him." " They made him into that." " No no no." "It happened... it happened way before he got to college." "And I..." "I don't know how, but we did it." "We messed him up." "We, uh... maybe we didn't give him any hope or, you know, we didn't exactly show him how to be happy." " How can you say that?" " He wasn't well." "He was depressed and..." "and irrational and angry." "Well, everyone gets depressed and angry, but that's still no explanation." "We don't know why he did what he did." "And I seem to be the only one that cares about asking why." "You keep asking why because... because you're looking for someone to tell us that we're not responsible." "And you keep avoiding it because you assume we are responsible." "Because he... he did it, Kate." "He did it." "He walked into those classrooms and... and he actually shot all those people..." " his teachers, his friends!" " No, I'm not listening to this." " All right?" "He's a murderer!" " Shut up!" " He's a murderer and it's our fault!" " Shut up!" "You should be defending him." "You're his father." "Well, there is no defense for what he did!" "I don't want to hear this anymore." "I don't even know who you are!" "That's right, you don't know who I am." "You never did." "You never even tried to." "You don't know me and you sure as hell didn't know your own son!" "Do you want to know whose fault it is?" "It's your fault!" "If you weren't such an emotionally absent cliché of a father, this wouldn't have happened." " He... he would be happy." " So what, you're putting it all on me?" "He wasn't happy because you picked at every... at every flaw he had, every mistake." "No no." "At least he knew I cared." " You and your red pen!" " I was there every time he was sick." "I was the one worried when he didn't come home for dinner on time." " And I didn't worry." "I didn't worry." " No!" "No!" "I was the one who checked his homework." "I was the one who planned the birthday parties." "I was the one who picked all of the Christmas gifts." "You... you picked at him." "You picked and picked until he..." "till he exploded!" "L..." "I did the best I could, but I was by myself." "And where were you?" "You were at work." "You were at work." "You put a roof over his head." "But what... where were you?" "Where were you?" "Yeah." "Go ahead." "Go ahead, leave." "You've been wanting to for the last 10 years anyway." "Yeah, because I couldn't bear to be with you!" "I wanted to be anywhere else, but I was..." "I was stuck." "No, you weren't." "You were not." "You're a big boy." "You could've left anytime." "I was stuck because of Sam!" "I stayed because of..." "because of him." "And look what..." "look what he turned into!" "Huh?" " Look!" "Look!" " No!" "No!" "I wish to God we hadn't had him!" " I wish we hadn't fucking had him!" " Don't say it." "Don't say it, please." " I wish we hadn't had him." " Oh my..." "Maybe that's the reason why." "Whoa!" "Nice kick." "Bill:" "Harry." "Hey, it's Bill." " Billy." "How are you doing?" " Good." "Look, I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink." " Uh, sure." " How about today?" "Hey, Billy, sorry I'm late." "Traffic was terrible." "Have a seat." "Let me get you a cold one." "I can't stay long, but..." " So how are you doing?" " Great." " And Kate?" " Great... you know, considering." " Here you are, sweetie." " Thank you." "To be honest, we're not together anymore." " You're kidding." " I'm getting my own place." "Don't you think you should just sleep on a friend's couch for a while?" "Try to straighten things out?" "I don't have any friends." "Well, I sure hope you two work it out." "So what can I do for you?" "I'm ready to go back to work." " Are you sure?" " Absolutely." "What did you do to your wrist?" "Oh uh, it's nothing." "So what do you..." "what do you think?" " Bill..." " I need to do something." "I'm going crazy." "Harry, please." "Look, I gotta get going." "All right, come in next week." "I'll see you Monday?" "Thanks." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Thank you." "Kate?" "I thought that was you." "Hi." "What are you doing here?" "I was jonesing for some Coco Pandas." "Goes with your quadruple espresso, I guess." "Absolutely." "The sugar-caffeine diet." "Um, can I buy you a cup?" "It's... it's not afternoon yet." "Let me give you a hand there." " Thank you." " Yeah." "Should I talk about it?" "Should I avoid it completely?" "Pretend it didn't happen?" "I just... no one knew how to act." "Jeez, even your family?" "L..." "I don't know, I bet all that tiptoeing around" " would get to you after a while." " No, it's not their fault." "I can't say I'd react any differently if I was them." " Can you hand me those, please?" " Was I a total idiot that time?" " Just like a complete, moronic..." " No." " I was." " Yeah, a little bit." "But you were really sweet." "Thanks for that." " You want to stay for dinner?" " Um..." "Nothing fancy, but..." " Sure, I'd like that." " Okay." "We haven't had a real dinner in this house where we actually sat down and ate since Sammy was like a sophomore in high school, so..." "Well, I'm happy to bring back the tradition." "And it's really good." "I'm not sure I've ever had mac and cheese that didn't come out of a little blue box." "It was his favorite." "Did he have a lot of friends?" "Mm, mm-mm." "Now and again, but he was a really shy kid." "Yeah." "Every year we'd go to this annual Christmas party... at Dr. Ko's house." "He was a friend of mine." "And he had this tradition where before the kids got their gifts, they had to sing a song in front of everyone." " Oh God." " I know." "It was awful." "And Sammy would never do it, right?" "He would rather go without a present than actually get up in front of all those people, let alone sing." "Yeah." "Well, this one Christmas..." "he was like nine... and all the kids were getting up, little kids." "They were getting up and singing and getting applause and getting their present and..." "I don't know." "Bill said just to leave him alone." "But I don't know..." "I guess I was embarrassed." "I just wanted him to, you know, do it." "You know?" "I wanted him to just get up and..." "And?" "Then he threw a tantrum and I yelled at him." "And then I made him do it." "I made him do it." "So he started singing "Jingle Bells"" "and he cried the whole way through." "And it was like a week before he would talk to me again." "Well, I hope at least the present was good." "No, a chemistry set." "He never even opened it." "Um..." " I'm sorry." "God, I'm sorry." " No, don't be." "No." "So tell me about your book." " What's your next book about?" " Oh, I..." "I don't know." "I just have an idea I'm batting around in my head." "Can't you just tell me?" "No, I can't." "It's... it's awful." "Come on, tell me." "It's just really the beginning of an idea." "I don't have it all worked out yet, so..." "But the second I'm done, you'll be the first to read it." "Finished, you mean." "Steaks are done, people are finished." "That's why you'll be the first to read it." "Right." "Restroom?" "Down the hall, to the left." "Hey, do you want some apple pie and ice cream?" "Yeah." "You know I can't turn down sugar." "What are you doing?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I was just, um..." "You didn't tell me Sammy wrote stories." "You were doing research." "It... okay, I was..." "I just wanted to see who Sammy was a little bit better." "Stop." "It's okay." "Just stop." "I want to show them that he was human, that he really wasn't any different from anybody else." "It's okay." "Please." "Everyone is capable of that kind of rage, okay?" "Everyone." "It's... it's no one's fault what happened... not yours, not your husband's." "That's all I'm trying to say." "Can you please leave?" "Okay." "I'm sorry." "How's Nikki?" "Eh, she's getting back to normal." "She lost 3 lbs." "We're selling the house, you know, trying to make it presentable." "I'll miss you." " Bill's not here helping you?" " No." "That's too bad." "There just aren't a lot of people out there who can really understand what you're going through, you know?" " Bill, hi." " Hey, Bill." " You killed it." " Thanks, buddy." "What is it, huh?" "What are you looking at?" "Enjoying the show?" "What, can't wait to get home, tell everybody about the killer's dad?" "Huh?" "Tell them all he's crazy too?" ""Must be where the kid got it from"?" " Hey hey hey, what's going on?" " No one can mind their own fucking business, that's what's going on." " All right." "Come on, folks, let's go." " They keep staring at me." "They're just concerned." "They're your friends." "Bullshit." "All I want to do is my job and they won't leave me alone." " Bill, maybe you came back too soon." " No, it's them." "They're gawking at me like I'm in a fishbowl." "How am I supposed..." "Maybe you should take a few more weeks off, see somebody." "I don't need to see anyone." "I'm..." "I'm fine." " I just want to be left alone." " Bill." "Bill." "It's not a suggestion." "Well, then fuck you!" " Hurry up." "Come on." " I'm coming." "Yeah yeah yeah." "Wow." "Isn't that wild?" "Oh my God." "I'm gonna settle up." "Your last night?" "You going back home?" "By the way, some reporters came sniffing around." "L..." "I told 'em I'd never seen you before." "Thanks." "I'm scared he got all that rage from me." "You know, he... he called us the night before." "And I keep..." "I keep replaying it over and over again in my head, trying to figure it out, you know?" "Why?" "Why did he call?" "What did he want to say?" "He must have been asking for help, right?" "He must have wanted us to stop him." "What did he say?" "I don't..." "I don't know." "I hung up and went to bed." "And then the next morning..." "Wow." "What could you have said anyway, you know?" "Yeah." "You really have left a mess behind, haven't you?" "But what do they say?" "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." "Not so true, is it?" "Hi, we're not home right now, but if you leave a message with your number, we'll get back to you as soon as we can." "Thanks." "He came in to check out, but that was a couple of days ago." "He hasn't come out since and he won't let housekeeping in." "I feel sorry for him, you know." "I just don't know what to do." " You're his wife, right?" " Yeah." "I'm fine." "Just leave me alone." " Bill, it's me." " Katie?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Oh, God, look at you." "Oh, angel." "It's okay." "It's okay." " I did love him." " Oh, I know." "I know." "I know." "Shh." "It's time to go home." "Okay?" "Okay?" "It's time to go home, okay?" "Come on, sweetie." "I know." "I know." "I've got you." "I've got you." "Come on." ""As the boy and the girl ran out from their station wagon, the beach was happy." "It was happy to have their small footprints upon it... happy to have holes dug with plastic shovels." "It was even happy to have paper wrappers blowing about after they'd gone." "But the beach knew that there would no longer be this to look forward to." "There'd be no more careless play... only lonely snowfalls to mark the beginning of an endless winter." "The beach loved the boy and the girl, though it had no way of telling them and it knew that this was their last time together." "Things would be different from now on."" "Will you sleep with me, please?" "Please, don't leave." "I won't." "I won't." ""And it didn't know if they would be better or worse, but for certain things would change."" "#This is love #" "#Following the dream #" "#Making things happen #" "#It is hard #" "#And not all it seems sometimes #" "#When we both won't give in #" "#Oh, I'm held by your anger #" "#And I'm held by your fisted hands #" "#And so it goes, and so it goes #" "#And we begin again #" "#Then we lie awake shaking #" "#We lie awake breaking #" "#And a little bit dies #" "#In the end #" "#Now we are still #" "#And I want you near me #" "#Even with words we can never take back #" "#We are always outspoken, we're wiser when broken #" "#And we're able to laugh #" "#'Cause this is us with cracks in the road #" "#Lonely, causing our journey to bend #" "#We haven't lost #" "#Something that we can't find again #" "#And we lie awake breaking #" "#We lie awake aching #" "#We lie awake making love #" "#In the end #" "#Yeah, we lie awake breaking #" "#We lie awake aching #" "#We lie awake making love again #" "#This is love #" "#This is us. #" "#It's all right, you can go to sleep #" "#Finally still and laughing #" "#So the world don't make you weep #" "#Dreaming until #" "#The sun is calling #" "#The day will lift the sorrow #" "#Slow your mind from thinking #" "#While the man in the moon is winking "I love you" #" "#The night is falling #" "#The moon will pull us through #" "#So slow your mind from thinking #" "#While the man in the moon is winking "I love you" #" "#It's all right, you can close your eyes #" "#I'm never gone. #"