"If I had a gun, Viktor would stop laughing and ducks would stop flying." "IF I HAD A GUN" "Story:" "Assistant Director:" "Costume Designer:" "Make-up Artist:" "Editor:" "Sound:" "Music:" "Featuring:" "Executive Producer:" "Director of Photography:" "Directed by:" "Produced at the Koliba Czechoslovak Film Studios Bratislava" "Jesus Christ!" "Wake up!" "Look at those neighbours!" "Look at those kids!" "Bandits!" "My Lord...!" "Come on, old fart, where the hell are you?" "What are you sweeping here for?" "Oh, my God!" "Where are you old good-for-nothing?" "I'm covered in blood..." "Wish you didn't last through the night!" "Wish you kicked the bucket!" "Would you hide this for me?" " How much is it?" " A hundred thousand." "That's a lot of money!" "It's for my wedding." "I'm not to be trusted." "Who would dream of finding money here?" "We are too poor." "You devil!" "Do you want to kill me?" "Let worms eat them up!" "Let them never rest in peace!" "Breakfast is ready!" "You devil!" "Can you say good morning?" " Welcome, uncle." " Hello." "Eat!" "What a beautiful bag!" "I wish it were mine..." "The whole class would stare at it." "Hyacint would admire the buckles." "Those are awesome buckles!" "He would be reaching out for them and I'd..." "Leave my bag alone, you'll get it all dirty!" "It stinks like a horse!" "It's horse leather." "It starts growing hair in the rain." "This big!" "Let me see your homework!" " Have you lost your appetite?" " What is it?" "A man needs a piece of meat, not soup." "You don't say." " I'm going to church." " I'll be right back." "All you can do is play your stupid cards." " Can you keep a secret?" " Sure, I'm a man!" "There is something..." "if you can be trusted." "Sure I can." "Haven't said a word about the bullets either." "Wish they got all ill!" "Wish all those bastards kicked the bucket!" "What did you do to her this time?" "So what is it about?" " A gun." " What?" "And what about it?" "Hide it, like the bullets." "And keep quiet like the grave." "I'll bring it over when it gets dark." "Get over here!" "As soon as I have the gun, you'll be running, not me." "Mom wanted me to become a priest." "But we don't have the money." "So I am an altar boy." "Sometimes people give me some change at funerals." "And Badzo here..." "He's so stupid." "He can't learn when to sit, when to kneel." "Vlado!" "The American!" "There!" "He's waiting in front of the church." "He's raging." "He wants to beat you up." " You started first!" " But he saw you first!" "Viktor beats everyone in arguments, but not me..." "When I'm there, he'll make the sign of the cross, he'll even kneel." "I'll leave these clothes on and ring the bell right next to him." "Kneel, the Last Sacrament is coming." "Lord, Lord." "It is our fate too." "Trust me." "He'll cross himself and kneel." "Badzo, the bell!" "He'll cross you with a stick!" "Just watch." "He's going to get it now..." "On your knees, the last sacrament is coming!" " Where are you going?" " To the American." " No..." " Oh yes, he won't make it through the night." "The Lord wants the bandit." "How is his money going to help him now?" "We know where that money comes from." "Have you been drinking?" "I wonder who was the informer?" " Anyone hungry for her gold..." " What gold?" "She is poor like a church mouse." "Even a church mouse can collect pieces of gold." "What are you up to, American?" "I got enough, I don't want anything that isn't mine." "Not anymore." "I wish I had a gun like that.." "Boom!" "I'm not going to say anything about uncle's gun." "If I had it, I'd shoot, they would all scatter like birds." "Is that a real gun from the army?" "What did you think?" "Go ahead!" "Quick!" "Hurry!" "She's too old, don't you see?" "Who says?" "Anyone else wants to join the Jew?" "Go, go!" "You'll have to join the army too, if you keep laughing at the elders." " I didn't mean it..." " Leave him alone!" "I will never do it again." "You should not have made fun of her!" "You could have run off through the back!" " He's going to pay for this!" " All talk!" " You want to bet?" " What are you going to do?" " Let's make a bet!" " What's the stake?" " A pocket knife." " It's a deal." "Do you want it to break?" "If water carries things away, it can bring things too." "Come." "Viktor doesn't believe me." "But he's going to lose his knife." "The American won't forget either." "Matches!" "Here!" "Mrs American is coming!" " Will you do it?" " Sure." "She deserves it, she made him do it." "Hey guys, without a permission?" "You mustn't run, sweetheart, you have to watch your little lungs." "What?" "Wait!" "May I?" " Yes you may." " Good." "If you give something, you can go on the swing." " Sharp, isn't it?" " Like a razor blade." "Father is coming." "God bless..." "We say Blessed be the Lord Jesus Christ." "Forever." "Watch my sheep, I'll take a rest." " Would you like some?" " We're not hungry." "Don't lie!" "Give me the knife!" "They call the chaplain our shepherd." "They can't stand each other with the parish priest because of the sheep." "He says they make the parish house stink." "One time they ruined a feast." "To attention!" "hall!" "Right!" "And marching!" "Back!" "Why are you disturbing the ceremony?" "Tend my sheep, the Lord said." "We have different kinds of sheep." "They took Marina because she's a Jew?" "If there's a will there's a way." "Either the nose, or the belief." "People don't feel God inside anymore." "They are trying his patience." "No need to feel sorry for the Jews." " Why?" " Because they're Jewish." "They drink children's blood on their holidays." "Really?" "They cut the throat of a Christian child and drink his blood." "Blood coagulates!" "Only pig blood coagulates, human doesn't." " Really?" " Jews do other things!" "Like?" "What are you so curious about?" "Go on the swing!" " So what do the Jews do?" " They get circumcised." "Like what, they cut around their noses?" "Badzo, you're so stupid!" "What noses?" "Their willies!" "They take the skin, pull on it, and hack it off." " Why?" " So they could pee further away." " That must hurt!" " Hurt, ey?" "Well if they just chop it off like that..." "I would not shed a single tear!" " Let's make a bet!" " What's the stake?" " The knife." " Deal." "Do you want to do it with your finger?" "He would really do it for a silly knife." "What is it?" "I swear he cut it off!" "He lost his foreskin but he got the knife." "Marisa, what did the American do?" "My butt, my butt..." " Say "er"." " "Ey... ey... "" "She'll never say it." " Does it hurt?" " Not anymore." "But I weep when I pee." "But I can still pee the farthest away!" "You want to bet?" "You limp like Mrs American." "He is no partisan." "Where partisan?" "There, far away." "Something to eat?" "Want some sugar?" "Milk maybe?" " Malako." " Where malako?" "Shall I bring you malako?" " Go..." " I'm going." "Marisa, have you ever seen a muskrat?" " No." " I'll show you one." "With her babies." " What about my cow?" " We'll watch it for you." "I'll see a musklat!" "And the babies too!" "When she sticks her head out, the young ones will come out too." "I'll see musklats..." "She sat there all day." "She wanted to see the babies." "What?" "Malako." "Just a minute..." "Mrs America will go nuts." "Some snakes must be drinking this beast's milk, I swear." "Good." "My father speaks Russian." "He speaks Russian?" "It's been long ago, I forgot it all." "What did you bring him here for?" "What if someone reports us?" " Is he in the wood?" " He's back in the garden." "You'll bring us trouble!" "Snakes must be drinking her milk!" "Come!" "What is it?" "The cow is losing its milk." "I wish it died with the housewife!" "Where did you find the bottle?" "Just where you hid it!" "You old drunk!" "Any other woman would kiss my feet." "She would bring me boose from the pub unlike you, old witch!" "You silly drunk!" "I'll burn it!" "Not just your butt!" "You old fool of a drunk!" "I'll set the house on fire!" "I'll burn everything!" "Lord..." "Go away." "Full of lice." "Where there is war, there are lice." "Concentration lager?" "Hanka, how shall we shoot the German?" "I told you to lock up!" "Let me do the talk!" "I thought you were alone." "Some poor old beggar showed up here." "I know the sort of beggars nowadays." "Why are you coming so late?" "I thought I'd drop in -the lights were on." "Don't worry, everything is fine." "Well, good-night then!" "This is the gun I told you about." "Leave it wrapped." "It's in wax canvas." "Take good care of it, I'll give you a hundred." "Trust me." " Do not mention it in confession either." " Trust me." "If Viktor saw it, he would explode with envy." "Or if the Russian saw it." "Give me the gun, dear!" "It's a war out there, I need it." "You fool, where did you get it?" "Mom, where do men get castles?" "Where did Mr America get the money?" "You said he stole it from his friend." "I stole from the German." "Knife on his throat - your soul or your gun!" "Vlado!" "Where are you?" "I saw uncle off." "Is anybody out there?" "Mr America sleeps in the yard, he's drunk." "All the best..." "Dad gave him his clothes." " Thank you for everything." " farewell!" "I felt sorry for him." "He knows he'll spend the rest of his life in bed." "KILL HIM!" " What is it again?" " Kill him!" "Death to fascism!" "And also:" "Into battle, Slovaks!" "Good Lord, will there ever be peace?" "What have you got?" " Where did you get it?" " Dad brought it." " Let's find Viktor, quick!" " Vlado, bring water!" "Is Viktor home?" "Is he ever at home?" "Out!" "Let's go to the village." "It's a havoc there!" "Badzo gets to see it for the first time." "And for free." "We used to pay the Gypsy woman with bread." "Just a baby and staring at naked women!" "Let go!" "Let's see what a man you are!" "Milka, give me some grease!" "Let's paint him a beard!" " No!" " That will make him a man!" "How was I supposed to help him?" "Stefina would have painted me too." "she painted Badzo, I painted their fence." "Death to fascism!" "Away, away!" "Who's less then sixteen, I'll beat them with my belt!" "You don't even have a belt, you are wearing a piece of string!" "Here you are!" "I said go home, kids!" "You are no authority." "What?" "In line!" "Come on!" "Wait for me, I have to ask mom." "Goodness, Badzo's father is coming, and he's sitting in a brook!" " Is it coming off?" " No." "Have you been there?" "This grease should help." "I felt sorry for him." "His father was joining the uprising, and he wouldn't even see him off." "They're coming!" " Your father is leaving too..." " Dad..." "She must have told my parents..." "The old lady will start." "Such ongodly manners, you will bring me to the grave!" "Vlado, get over here!" "We got water and a cloth." "I have to wipe these... and Viktor is a partisan." "He's got as many guns as he wants." "That's Badzo's drawing." "I'll wipe it off, he's stupid, doesn't know better." " Will you chop some wood?" " Sure." "I am stupid, huh?" "Is that all?" "That's nothing!" "Stop!" "Turn!" "Chop the wood and pile it in stacks." "Are you a partisan?" "And you're not scared?" "Come on!" "We're just about to take in a convoy." "I may never come back alive." "Don't go, please!" "You don't have to chop wood anymore." "I like you." "You can watch me take a bath." "And I will be all yours at the dance." " Will you stay?" " As long as there's wood to chop." "What is it?" "I got a splinter in my finger." "Let me see." "Does it hurt?" "Look what I'Il do, and it won't hurt." "Look!" "I couldn't do that." "Piece of cake." " And the splinter?" " Let me see!" "Others held her hand, but only I touched her foot." "And there was no splinter either." " Is it deep?" " It's gone." "Vlado, what are you doing in the barn?" "Go chop some wood!" "What?" "May you be stung, may you be torn up inside!" "And the witchcraft is done." " What did she do?" " She put a curse on Hanka." " Kyntoska?" " No, Mrs America." "How can I help you, dear child?" "We need a doctor." "Without any money?" "Mom, could you... the gold tollar that father left behind...?" "You need it to buy me a coffin!" "Or will you bury me in a sheet, like a beggar?" "Vlado!" "Hold this!" "Watery water, from God and from Christ, give your mercy, make the young healthy." "Fiery fire, born of a Virgin, in day in night, magic begin." "In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit." "Amen." "Death should take me instead..." "Hanka, how shall we kill the German?" "The public must observe the curfew." "It is forbidden to hide suspicious individuals or arms in private homes." "This is a warning." "Anyone giving shelter to partisans, or helping them in any way, will be punished." "This is a warning..." "Good morning." "Is the doctor home?" " What do you want?" " My sister can't breathe." "Wait here." "Little Hanka Magdolenova died!" "Nice and loud!" "This is a warning!" "Villagers may not go out in the fields, or give shelter to suspicious individuals..." "Lord, what are you punishing us for?" "well, you see..." "When a poor man makes the sign of the cross, he'll poke his eye." "Hanka, my little angel..." "Hanka, how shall we shoot the German?" "Something cheerful!" "Is Viktor home?" " Is German lard any good?" " Try!" "What am I stupid?" "It's from a German?" "What you say, du Schweine?" "Let him be!" "He's stupid, he doesn't know what he's saying." "Watch your language!" " Is he not a German?" " Yes, he is, but he understands everything." "Have some!" "Eat!" "Henrych brought more we can eat." "I wouldn't, but I cannot remember the last time I ate bread like this." "So, let's go!" "If Viktor can..." "And he was a partisan..." "Your body- ein Lied." "What are you counting?" "I am giving it back just as you gave it to me." "I believe you." "Something to eat?" "I have a little bit of sour milk left." "It makes me sick." "Have you got any wine?" "Wine?" "In this house?" "Only a tiny left in the bottle saved for Christmas." "We'll have some, right, darling?" "Christmas wine is for the sick." " We should offer something to guests." " And you yourself are green from hunger!" "Better to eat less than too much!" "But you're always the first one at the table!" "I am not eating your food!" "You had nothing when you first came here." "Shame on you." "Leave the car alone!" "Would you like some more?" "Vlado, come home!" "What do you all want?" "Did you take the money?" "I didn't even know where it was kept." "Two hundred is missing." "I haven't touched it." "I can do a wedding without the two hundred." "But I thought you were respectable, my close family." "That's an insult!" "You are disreputable yourself!" "You don't give a coin and drink the little wine we had left." "I am no thief!" "Is it my fault that you're a cripple, who can't make a living and steals?" "I swear I'm going to kill him!" "So that uncle won't ask for the gun," "I went to hide in the attic." "Get out!" "You stupid fool!" "Jesus Christ!" "A cold shiver ran down my spine." "Dad knows about the gun." "He'll shoot uncle in his rage." "No, don't!" "Dad!" "A cripple..." "living off others' mercy, and he's a thief too!" "I have never stolen a penny." "I took the money." "I gave it to the doctor, for Hanka." "...so it grew in you as a sign of life." "Make money rain down on us!" "Collect it for good luck!" "There's one too." "Leave that one, that's my luck." "That's where I will search." "Eat and drink as much as you like!" "Grecmer had a wedding for ten thousand, I paid a hundred!" " Cheers!" " Cheers!" "A rake would be better than you!" "All you can do is eat." "Let's dance!" " I don't know how to." " I'll teach you." "I'm no good for dancing!" "My shoes are too small." "I got the clothes from Hyacint, the pants come up under my armpits." "I'll lose them in the dance." "That would be terrible!" "Partisans attacked the village!" "We are safer here, people!" "Vlado, where are you going?" "You...!" "You're just a kid!" "It's kind of stuffy in here." "Let's do something!" "We can only pray now." "Lord, have mercy on us..." "Forgive us our sins!" " From every evil..." " Save us, o Lord!" " From sudden death..." " Save us, o Lord!" " By your coming as man..." " Save us, o Lord!" " By your birth..." " Vyslobod' nas, Pane!" " By your suffering and cross..." " Vyslobod' nas, Pane!" " By your coming again in glory..." " Vyslobod' nas, Pane!" "But that's Badziak!" "Nothing happen..." "Go on!" "Gnedige Frau, gratuliere." "Can I sit?" "Sing!" "That will be some Christmas!" "No rose hips." " You can drink herbal tea." " Rose-hip tea is the best." "Grandma is nice and warm, easy for her to say." "And I'm going to freeze." "Viktor, you must change your voice better!" "What?" "You giving signal?" "You talk!" "I don't know..." "I'm picking rose hips." "What is hips?" "I must see!" "Jesus Christ!" "What are you doing here?" "What do you want, evil spirit?" "What's going on?" "They caught me picking rose hips." "They have me for a partisan." "You don't have a single one?" "I had to throw them away." "My son is not a partisan, and we don't have any guns." "Why don't you sit down, please." "Don't worry, you haven't done anything, they must not hurt you." "My darling son, what happened to you?" "Don't worry, mom, it's okay!" "Hanka, how will they shoot me?" "Hands up!" "Turn!" "Wo sind die Partisanen?" "I don't know." "Give you half minutes." "They shot Vlado Magdolen!" "He died a hero!" "Rose-hip tea will bring her back to senses..." "She loved him." "She may throw herself in the pit after him." "Nice and loud!" "Where partisans?" "God, my eyes burn..." "Don't shoot!" "Thank God you're alive." "Thank him by confessing your sins." "I was swearing..." "I missed mass one Sunday..." "I did not obey my parents..." "I was bad to Mrs American because she calls us names..." "If they throw stones at you, you throw bread." "We don't have any bread at home now." " What else did you lie about?" " The gun." "What?" "Maybe I should not have said it, but I wanted to pay him back." "He won't say anything, he's under oath." "You cause a lot of trouble to your family!" " A kid with a gun!" " I'm not a kid." "You will hide the gun away from the house and don't say a word." "You'll recite Our Father and HaiI Mary ten times, and then you go and feed my sheep." "Thank you, mom too." "Thank you." "Go." "While I'm taking care of Christ's sheep, mine are starving to death." " Blessed be the Lord..." " Forever." "Amen." " Sawing?" " Sawing." "Father, what about the carols?" "The parish father said we should sing carols." "And don't worry about the rewards." "If you don't have wheat, bring barley." "If there's not barley, bring oat." "If there's not oat, bring chaff." "If there's no chaff, bring sweepings." "Good-bye!" "God bless!" "If I had a gun..." "Boom..." "If Viktor knew..." "But I'll take revenge." "They'll fall like rotting pears." "Viktor, you never come to confession." "I go to the parish priest." "Don't lie or you won't go singing carols." "While my mom was alive, I used to go." "While mom was alive..." "If she were alive, the German would not live with you." "He's not there anymore." "Is it true that if they shoot at you, you pee your pants?" "I'm not sure if it's because of fear, but yes, it's true." "If they shot at you, I'd throw a granate at them." "From your house not even a giant can throw things all the way to the cemetery." "Did you think I was sitting at home?" "I stood behind the wall with the granates." "If they shot, I would've thrown one." "Why not before that?" "I would have killed the chaplain." "What if I don't believe you?" "Well, the granates are still behind the fence." "All ye be merry on this day!" "Herodes did not believe, that Christ the Lord was born." "All ye be merry on this day!" "Peace be with this house all who live in it!" "It's frozen!" "I thought you were a widow." " That's my brother." " Why doesn't he say something?" "He's dumb." "This is our Russian friend." "Here you are!" "Let your tongue grow back again!" "And be careful, Germans are out there." "God bless." "Don't worry, he's a good man." "See, I didn't lie." "How did you know they were shooting at me?" "I saw your mom run to the parish house." "I stood right here and called your name." "But you must have peed your pants." "I wanted to throw a granate." "And I saw the chaplain coming." "Vlado, come here!" "I'm praying on my mother's grave." "Such a gun, and you didn't say anything." "And you?" "Not a word about the uprising." "Did you have a gun there?" " A sniper." " And did you shoot?" "Sure!" "It's even easier than aiming at rabbits." "People move less." "When we stood up two gardists against the wall, they fell like ripe fruit." "We had them stand up, they fell again." "And so we... on the ground..." " And you too?" " What did you think?" "Shall I shoot in the air?" "I don't think I could do it." "See, and Henrych would feed you bullets without a wink of an eye." "Got the bullets?" "What if the Germans show up?" "They're scared." "They're hiding." "It kicks, doesn't it?" "Just squeeze it harder, like you squeeze a girl." "Go away!" "Hold your breath while aiming." "I'm trying and you..." "Give it to me!" "Let me see!" "The pilot jumped!" "Let's go see him!" "And the gun?" "Hide it in the hole, we'Il get it later!" "Did you see?" "All black." "By Epiphany he'd be..." "Hey you, black in the back, hide your black beard." "We could show him as an attraction." "No one here has ever seen one like him before." "How can we talk to him?" "Mr America!" "He should still remember!" "That will be great!" "Mrs American will go milk the cow..." "No!" "devil!" "Take him away, God!" "I will stop bugging the neighbours," "I will love my husband," "I will bring him liquor, just take him away!" "We can't let Stefina in." "She would be all over him." "What have you got?" " A knife" " Go." "And you?" "I have nothing." "I'm an orphan." " Go!" " Go, you orphan!" " Next!" "What have you got?" " Bread." " No girls!" " Stefina went in!" "No." "Go." "Next!" " Candy." " Go." "And you?" " Bullets..." " Go." "What have you got?" "A cigarette." "No, we don't smoke." "Don't shoot!" "Who knows how far it shoots?" "I know about army ones, but this one..." "Is Henrych there too?" "On his motorbike." "Why aren't you shooting?" "They go behind the rock!" "What if they come back to burn the village down?" "They have no time left." "Would a grenade work better?" "If I had it..." "Shoot, you coward!" " I can't..." " You have to!" "Let's go!" "No!" "What are you screaming about?" "They'll come here." "I have to run!" "Who is coming?" "The Germans." "Stop that nonsense!" "They're gone!" "Go to sleep!" "Dad, I killed Henrych." "God..." "It's my fault..." "I can't look after my child." "I'll never forget that night." "We talked until dawn." "It was my most serious confession." "That night I got to know my father." "Do you need any water?" "You brought enough this morning." "I can chop some wood then." "You said war was bad for children." "Our child is much better now." "But they are not kids anymore." "Uncle is coming!" "Vlado, get the gun!" "What gun?" "He looked after my gun throughout the war." " What is it?" " Look!" "He won't get lost in the world!" "You stupid little...!" " What's the hurry?" " The Russians are coming!" "What was the shootout about?" "Vlado, bring me the cigarettes!" "You knew about it?" "I did." "Do you realize you could have gotten us into a lot of trouble?" "I'm not surprised, he's just a kid." "But you, old man, should have known better!" "Dad!" "Dear liberators!" "We will always remember this day!" " To your health!" " To your health!" " How many Germans did you kill?" " I wasn't counting." "Did you hear that?" "He stopped counting." "And I am all upset about a single one." "Let him get some sleep." "He must have been through a lot!" "He'll tell stories..." "He didn't say a word." "They received a command, they had to move on." "We had the bells toll a nice and loud good-bye." "And the school bell called us soon." "We had enough of lazying around." "THE END"