"The Thieves" "Hi, Joe.." "I see tourism suits you." "What are you doing on these shores?" "Everything ready for the shop window?" "A simple double-breasted suit, Joe?" "Uncork the message, break it, Joe." "There on the nail!" "How are the boys of the "Firm"?" "What?" "The "Idiots"?" "No, the "Assassin's Firm"." "Careful!" "Here it's serious, there's the "Banker's Firm"." "Hey, Joe, is the ticket booth working?" "I mean, is everything okay with George Washington?" "Don't get smart." "I'm talking about dollars.." "What?" "Full like an egg?" "Yes?" "I laugh at everything." "The .45, Joe?" "Did you stuff the artillery?" "Yes?" "You're the damnedest smooth operator of the 45th, Joe!" "But do the tortoise." "Take it slowly.." "This world isn't like the blonde in the Roxy bar, it's not as welcoming." "So, no kisses, sugar, honey, etc.." "Be careful." "I'll tell you now.." "because nobody here.. is a fool." "Goodbye, Joe." "Goodbye, Joe." "The violation of article 525 is clear.." "It's apparent, it's clear, it's obvious." "Here we don't joke around!" "It's an outrage to modesty!" "So.." " Doctor, the statement." ""Concetta Improta, stage name, Lisetta Marescialla"." ""Marescià."" " What?" " Marescià." ""Marescià." is French, I'm speaking Italian. "Marescialla"." "What do you have to say about all this?" " It was only a shoulder strap." "Oh, yeah?" " Yes." " A shoulder strap." "Hear that?" "She calls it a shoulder strap." "A strap which caused two heart attacks" "And the destruction of six seats in a public auditorium." "As it says here, in the statement taken by officer.. your name?" "Hazelnut" " Hazelnut." "Were you there too?" " I wasn't there.." "but there were the eyes of 100 fathers of good families who were attending this obscene.." "obscene filth." "If they're so good, what were they doing there?" " Yeah, what were they?" "These things don't concern you!" "They were doing something!" "Got it?" "Silence!" "I'm questioning!" "I've got a family to support." " I have a family too, but I don't get nude in public!" "I cover myself!" "Like this!" "Isn't that right, Walnut?" " Hazelnut." " Hazelnut!" "I cover my hazelnuts!" "Understood?" "What happened?" " I was doing my routine with a hoop." "What's that meant to mean?" "They do routines with hoops now?" " Yes." "Yes, doctor." "With this hoop." "She puts it over her like so." " And then?" " Moves her body." " Oh, yeah?" "You need a hoop to move your body?" " Let me show you." "What's she doing?" "Her routine." "It's called a hula hoop." "It's very difficult to learn, it takes years of practice." "Take a look." "What's this special dance called?" " Hula Hoop." "Who?" " Hula Hoop." "What a hula!" "And what a hoop!" "Prepare the statement." "Now?" "When?" "Tomorrow?" " Can't we delay it?" "At this point my strap broke." " Stay right there!" "I've got to inspect you." "I'll go inspect, eh?" "Leave your dress alone!" " This isn't the time for inspections." "You should've been there last night." " Why didn't you call me last night?" "Who goes there?" "What's going on?" "The American's here." "Can't you see I'm inspecting this woman?" "Leave, immediately!" "Take your things and leave." " Goodbye, commissioner." "Goodbye." "I wish you the best." " Thank you." " Goodbye." "Case solved!" "There's something more important." "What is it?" "The American's here." " Who?" "Who ordered that?" "I ordered a coffee.." "I can't drink an American, it has alcohol and my liver can't take it!" "The American, the public enemy." " The bandit?" "Joe Castagnato." " Public enemy number one!" "Here!" "What shall we do?" "So?" "Are you afraid?" "Can we do this or not?" " We can." "Scared of an American?" "We're.. we're.. we're full of Americans." "Have him come in." "I'll take care of this." "Castagnato." "Castagnato, the boss wants to see you." "The hat." "Giuseppe Castagnato?" "Come forward." " Joe, to my friends." "Castagnato, Giuseppe." "Born in Afragola on the 13th of April 1919." "Exactly." " Exactly." "Emigrated to the USA in 1931." " Clandestinely." "I know, but I'm the one asking the questions here, understand?" "Castagnato, Joe." "Friend of Jack the viper, member of the assassins firm.." "That you, or the others, called so vulgarly called 'Morden'." ""Murder"." " "Morden"." "Where does this get us?" "We're not playing cats and dogs." "I'm telling you, youngster!" "Can of nuts!" "Can of nuts!" "Hazelnut!" "Hazelnut!" "Hazelnut, can of nuts, it's all the same!" "Anyway, stay alert!" "As you wish." "One moment." "Excuse me." "Ricci, French perfume." "French or American perfume, get it in your head.." "I'm allergic to whatever one it.. it is." "Clear?" "Besides, Joe Castagnato.." "You don't smell, come come, you stink!" "You stink with a capital S. See here.." "There's a lot in your report, my friend." "14th July 1938.." "Breaking and entering at the Inde.." "Independent..." "At the Independente.." "I'm an Italian civil servant and I read in Italian!" "I'm not bilingual!" "To summarize:" "For this robbery you had the nerve, the cheek, to commit it dressed as a woman." "Did you get that?" "Dressed as a woman." "Have you no shame?" "When you carry out a robbery, dress like a man, if you please!" "May I remind you, sir, your credentials are notable!" "Remarkable!" "Surprising!" "Don't pay any attention to it.." "The usual exaggerations from my admirers." "Admirers, my foot!" "They never had enough evidence against you.." "Sure, I get it!" "You're the king of the alibi!" "The king of ubiquity!" "You're ubiquitous!" " Do you think so?" "Silence!" "You're ubiquitous, admit it." "What did your friends call you?" " Elsewhere." "What?" " Elsewhere!" "What does that mean?" "Elsewhere, commissioner." "Elsewhere." "Right.." "You're the gentlemen who's always elsewhere." "In fact, you should be in prison right now!" "Instead, you're here." "Elsewhere!" "That's water under the bridge." "I'm retired now.." "With a ton of stolen money." "Hidden who knows where." "My friend, you can't fool me." "I've got an ace up my sleeve!" "My compliments, commissioner." " What does that mean?" "What's that stuff?" " Popcorn." "You can't eat in here." "This is my office, I'm a commissioner!" "Put it away." "Put it away!" "Castagnato, get this into your head.." "I couldn't care less about your alibi." "Understand?" "If you're Mr Elsewhere, then I'm Mr Everywhere!" "Try to remember, we're not in America!" "We're in Naples and, as they say, "There's no fools here!"" "Understood?" "What are you doing?" "Look at this!" "It's some American stuff I found at the port." "They must have jam making competitions, they do things well." "These are real pounds." " How do you know?" "I know, I know." "Before I had the bright idea of marrying you.." "Once, when were together in Rome, a guy wanted to give me a bracelet of these." "And you didn't accept?" " He was old." "Instead, I chose a young guy:" "Handsome, white and dry!" "And slightly overweight, was it my fault?" "All I had left were the pounds in my eyes." "What do you think?" " I do all the thinking round here!" "This is all very strange." "How many cases were there?" "I didn't count them." "15.. 16." "It must have been a big job." " A big job?" "Do you think.." "You really don't get it?" "It's stolen!" "The police!" "Get off." "It's Lola, she's come for a fitting." "Hurry up, and put that stuff away." "The police!" "Quiet, it's Vincenzo." " Vincenzo, nephew, damn you!" "Disturbing me at this hour!" " Uncle, it's midday." "Midday?" "I was dreaming of the winning lottery numbers.." "and you interrupted me on the last number; 27, 32 and 60 something." "and it stopped." "What number was it?" "When you go back to sleep your dream'll continue." "Yeah?" "Stalin's not going to wait at my convenience!" "Who's there?" " It's Lola, the maid from the Imperial." "Lola!" "Who used to be Annunziata?" "When she was so little, she used to sit on my knee." "Where is she?" "Let me see her." "Is it sexy enough?" "So beautiful!" "I could pinch her like this." "Uncle!" "You might hurt yourself." "Stop annoying me!" " The pounds!" "Is someone there?" "No, it's my husband the imbecile." "Pounds before the war!" "Hurry up, Lola, I've got things to do." "Don't worry, I'll take care of it!" "I need it for this evening." " I said don't worry." "Bye." " Goodbye Lola." "Finally." "Stay still, idiots!" "You get up!" "Get up!" "Did you have to show this deadbeat?" "How many are there?" " There's one missing." "There's one missing." "Open your mouth." "I said open your mouth!" "Do you have to steal everything you see?" "What a fine acquisition you two are!" "A stupid husband, a brother-in-law who sleeps all day and an uncle who's a thief!" "I'm not a thief!" "The judge said so himself." "I was misunderstood." " You're still a thief." "Where's your brother?" " He's doing some honest work." "He's watching out for illegal cars." "Stop eating jam!" " Damn!" " Don't offend me!" "You're not a Scognamiglio." "You were an acquired niece!" "I believe you." "Now, let's see." "Whose is this stuff?" " Whose could it be?" "Who?" "One moment.." "The newspaper." " Newspaper?" "Yes!" "I've just remembered." "Here." "Read this story." " Where?" "One moment." " There it is." " I'll read." "Then he'll read it." " Take off your glasses, you can't read!" "What are you doing?" " You're wasting time." " Here we are." ""The 'elsewhere' gentleman returns home."" "Italian American JOE CASTAGNATO suspected author of the famous theft of 20,000 pounds sterling 6 years ago from the Stock Exchange in New York, arrives today in Naples, deported by the American authorities." "It's all quite clear to me." "Twenty million pounds." "What are you going to do?" " I know." "There's 20,000 pounds dancing around." " You know I don't like to dance." "Are you sure?" "I'd be happy with three." "One for San Gennaro, one for lottery and one for little Lola." "Listen to Acattone, the petty thief!" "20.000 pounds!" "And in Naples there's a man who's come cool as a cucumber from America with the intention of keeping it all to himself." "There are people who'd pay well to know how he's bringing it in." "Who?" " The police around the world." "A pleasure." "What's "Investigation"?" "The FBI." "Just like in American movies!" "Good." "Good." "Cavalier, Genero Di Savio." "With the Q.D.N." "Q.D.N. Questura di Napoli." "(Naples police station)" "Peanut!" "Let him sit down." "Dear inspector, for you." "This is Castangata's statement." "The F.B.I. are certain the money is here in Italy." "Right, we at the Q.D.N. think the same." "Indeed, the pound we found is proof." " Have you found a pound?" "Yes." " Where is it?" "Forensics is studying it." "Forensics?" " Yes." "Let's call them and hear what they have to say." "Hello?" "It's me, Di Savio." "The commissioner." "Hello?" "Yes, commissioner, it's me, Carmello Stool Pigeon." "As I was saying this morning, your Excellency." "it's hard to get information, it's American stuff." "Forensics say they don't know anything." " Not your forensics!" "The real one!" "I called them myself." "Dr Ascione from the lab." " Show these forensics guys in." "Good morning, commissioner." " Good morning." "You've carried out an autopsy on the coin, so what can you tell us?" "Strange things, commissioner." "Strange things." "Let's hear it." " First, we were able to establish that we are dealing with a British coin, made of gold." "By Jove!" "Who would've expected it?" "But are you sure it isn't a phone token?" "Notable traces of animal fat and vegetables, and an inexplicable presence of human saliva." "Fish flakes, filaments of string, wool and cotton fibers." "And human hair." "Did you happen to see if there was also an application for the Fiat competition?" "Ascione." "Ascione!" "Let's be serious!" "We need something concrete that will help the investigation." " Something more definite." "There is." "If I could bring myself to think it, It concerns.." "With respect to you, commissioner.." "Some.." "A lot?" " An abundance!" "Filth." " Open a window!" "I'm doing the talking because I'm head of the family!" "After you, dear." " I'll watch downstairs." "No, you'll stay here." "We need to impress the American." "He's a dangerous type." "I have my doubts with these champions!" "Huh?" " Go on." "Scognamiglio." "The Secret Society?" " Relatives." "Scognamiglio." " Your niece?" "Wife." "My wife." "Please." "Sit down." " No." "So?" "I'm sorry, I'm not from around here." "To tell you the truth, your name.." "completely escapes me, I'm sorry." "Do you smoke?" " No." "Unless of course.." " Come here." "Unless, of course, we're talking about a large family." "Lady.." "I don't see why you're here?" "We came to return the empties." "I don't understand you." " What about these?" "Don't they mean anything to you?" "If they aren't genuine, they're very good fakes." "Did you make them yourselves?" "Uncle Alberto!" " Only one!" "And don't do it again!" "Let's be clear, we.." " We.." "Dear Mr Castagnato let's forget the money and talk.." "..about jam." "Pineapple jam." "Listen to me." "If you came here to change money, you can go to a bank." "But if you came here to sell jam, there's a shop on the corner." "Now, leave!" "Mr Joe, you're behaving foolishly." "Calm down and listen to me." "Someone steals 20,000 pounds in New York." "They think it was you but they don't have any proof, so they kick you out." "You arrive here in Naples." "And so does a load of pineapple jam." "Pineapple jam." "We're very interested in pineapple jam." "Alberto goes crazy over it." "Isn't it true that you like pineapple jam?" "It's taken out all of my teeth." "We know the ideal person to sell pineapple jam." "And.." " For this little disturbance, we'd like a small percentage." "Let's say.." "50%." "Well, Castagnato?" "What are we doing?" "Okay.." "You've won." "A beautiful woman can make anyone cave in." "And I'm no exception." "Modestly speaking, this was planned by.." "Us!" " You won't regret it.." "Our agreement will be full of advantageous prospects, you'll see." "I see." "Now we are associates." "Dear Castagnato." "Can you tell me how you intend to fence the merchandise?" "If you feel the urge to wake him up, I'll explain everything." "Wake up." " All okay, no danger in sight." "If you don't already know, I'm the only person who can touch the money." "Why?" "Don't you trust us?" "Frankly speaking, no." "Tell me." "Who's this guy you want to give the merchandise to?" "His name won't mean anything to you." " Okay." "But how did you figure it all out?" "Castagnato, it's a question of method." "A question of method, of organization." "The American system of investigation is perfect." "In America, all we need to identify a criminal is a small clue." "For example, a used match." "We'd trace it to the factory which made it." "The drugstore which sold it." "The client who bought it." "With an exact investigation, in just a few hours, we can identify the culprit." "My dear sir, our method is much simpler, and It's much easier." "What's this?" " A hair." "We found it on the pound." "Here, for example." "With this hair we found on the pound, we are certain, with our method, we can catch Castagnato's accomplice." "How?" "It's obvious this is a man's hair." "Observe." "Am I right?" "Yes, yes." " Am I right?" "What do we do?" "We take a woman's hair." " A woman's hair?" "A female sex hair." "Exactly." "We'll unite them, and we'll leave them alone in a well heated environment." "If these hairs go crazy for each other, after 24 hours we'll have reproduction." "I mean to say, the birth of a little hair." "Isn't it cute!" "Isn't it nice!" "It looks just like it's mother and father." "What shall we call it?" "Nothing." "We'll call it hair." "I take it from his blood parents and put it in an incubator for adults." "That's right: for adults." "In the incubator, the hair grows, develops eyes, blood vessels, a bone structure, a nervous system, cartilage, etc, etc." "After nine months the hair becomes a big hair." "The new hair becomes a big hair." "We take it around the city on a feast day, shouting as loud as we can," ""Who lost this hair?"" ""People, who lost this hair?"" "We'll grab the first person who comes forward and lock them up." "He's the culprit." " Formidable." "Indeed!" " Extraordinary." "Magnificent!" " Formidable, my foot." "Do you seriously think you can identify a person with one hair?" "Or arrest the culprit with a match?" "Don't make me laugh, Mr United States!" "On this side of the ocean, you'll need a lot more than that!" "Excuse me, sir, we've other methods." " Yes?" "Then let's do something nice." "Yes?" "I suggest I keep my hair.." "and you keep your match." "Speaking of which, talking about matches:" "Do you have a light?" "I left my lighter elsewhere." "Are you certain a load of seeds haven't come in from Venezuela?" "The boxes of jam are next to the shop." "It's a big place." "Further down is the director's office." "In the director's office there's a glass paneled room." "To the right there's.." "There's uncle Alberto stealing some pens." "But this isn't important." "To the left, attached to the wall, is the safe." "Morton brand." "It looks like an old type." "Behind the safe there are wires going up." "All along the wall, roughly three metres." "Attached directly to the alarm." "On it is written, "Ding.." "Ding.."" "Dingler, perhaps?" " Yes, do you know it?" "Yes, it's a frustrating system." " But we can cut the wires.." "No, they're for the safe." "The real alarm is hidden in the walls.." "Impossible to get to." " What does the safe have to do with jam?" "For now, we'll concentrate on the safe." "I'll explain why later." "This is.." "It should be.." "a Morton safe, type 37-A." "I don't get it." "What's this Morton 37-A all about?" "Listen carefully, I don't like repeating myself." "I sent the jam jars under the name of Giuseppe Esposito." "Got it?" " Yes." "And who is Giuseppe Esposito?" "Stupid!" "The merchandise is already in the safe waiting for Giuseppe Esposito to get it." "Exactly." "I'll wait a few days.." "Then I'll steal it." "The tools." "The tools." " Yes, yes." "Hurry up." "I'll take this." "Here I am." "What's this called?" " A straw?" "Blowtorch." "Where do you put it?" "Vincén!" "Vincén!" " Uncle!" "No, uncle." "Not where you're thinking." "It's attached to the condenser." "Try to remember." "The name?" "Sco.. sco.. sco.. gniomillo!" " Yes." "Pleased to meet you!" "I've never worked with anyone so stupid." "I hope you're fast learners." "Okay, let's see." "Where's the.." "The cylinder." " Yes, the cylinder." "There were four numbers that the blessed San Gennaro gave me." "Uncle, is it possible that.." " Calm down." "We need to start again." "Excuse me!" "I'm looking for Macmillan's right-hand man, Brigadier Beretta." "What's his name?" " Hazelnut." "He's next door with the inspector." "I'll call him right away." " Yes." "Yes." "What's this?" "Hazelnut is on his way." "Yes." "Tell me something, Ascione." "Is this the coffee our researchers drink?" "No, no." "I keep some on the side." "It helps me think." "I can see that." "In fact, we've got sugar.." "Here's some ground coffee." "In powder.." "and some of your cheese." "Very good." "As of tomorrow," "I won't go to the canteen anymore." "I'll come here to forensics." "We're here!" " Oh, a barber." "A little bit off the sides." " Don't joke!" "Big things are boiling in the pot." " Yes?" "Are you preparing a banquet for the American?" "What banquet?" "This is the analysis, from the hair." "We've managed to trace it back to its owner." "No." " Then from the saliva analysis.." "Pardon?" " Saliva. ('getting on')" "Who's getting on?" " The owner." "Where was he getting on?" " He wasn't." "Was he getting off?" " No." "You said saliva." " From the analysis of the saliva!" "You mean the liquid?" "That's disgusting!" "Listen up, how do you find the culprit using his saliva?" "It's a famous American method." " With a sample of his saliva, we can trace it to his American cigarettes or his chewing gum." "Brigadier!" "Brigadier!" "Half the world smokes American cigarettes and chews gum." "We've sealed off the surrounding areas." "Will you do me the courtesy of surrounding all of the port of Naples and make me a list of all the people who have received goods from America." "Then check all the shops for this supposedly non-existent merchandise!" "Sergeant Almond!" "I said "non"!" ""Non"?" " Here I say it and here I deny it!" "The pounds have not left Naples." "Because everybody is studying a way to get them out." "To speak frankly, how to suck them out." "No, general." "You don't hold the flame like that." "That's what I was telling you." "This youngster seems down all the time." "Don't worry, he's like that since birth." " Too much work, captain." "Watching cars all day, watching guards all night." "It's too much work." "Give it to me, please." "This states the guard passes by every night at ten." "Salvatore should keep watch in the afternoon to see their movements." "And next time, Vincenzo should check the office." "By the way, Magdalena." "Yes?" "What do you say?" "Could you come and see me tonight, around ten." "You can give me the latest update from.." "Salvatore's nocturnal watch." "You know, it's better I don't show myself around." "Very well." " Why does it have to be Magdalena?" "Because you're on guard, and Salvatore is resting." "Do you understand, cretin?" " There's uncle, he could go." "No, absolutely not.." "Uncle Alberto must finish this damned hole at any cost." "Okay, general?" "Okay, colonel." "We attack at dawn." "Agreed." "General." "Are you ready for your second attempt?" " Yes, yes." "You get it now." "First the key." "Then the fire, remember." " Yes, yes." "Then the oxygen." " Yes, yes." "Understood?" "Let's test you." "Take one, they steady the nerves." "Come on, uncle Alberto." "Let's make a good impression." "Let's show this American what we're capable of." "Relax, it's like lighting a cigarette." "Yes." "One.." " and two." "Let's light it." "Is someone at the door?" "It's nothing." "I dropped my newspaper, idiot!" "The case is getting interesting." " Which one?" " Castagnato." "The gangster." " The bandit." "Yes, yes." "It seemed so easy in the lab." "I'm referring to the people without an address." "We don't refer here, we must be explicit." "Is that clear?" "Explicit!" "I'm being explicit." "Look, there's only four of them." "Here they are:" "Alfonso della Grotta, Mario Caputo.." "Mario?" " Caputo." "So Caputo's involved?" " Yes." "Giuseppe Esposito and Giovanni Santangelo." "My dear Suckmynut.." " What?" "Hazelnut!" " Who's that?" " Me!" "Please forgive me." "I always get your name confused." "Hazelnut, Suckmynuts, it's all the same." "Dear Suckmynuts, I don't think this business is so hard." "When I said there were four of them, bring me four." "And four and four make eight!" "Bring them here." " When?" "What do you mean?" "Tomorrow!" " It's Christmas tomorrow." "So what?" " Family, children." "Then we'll bring the family here and have Christmas in the station." "Okay?" "Ha.." "Ha.." "Hazelnut." " Hazelbut!" "Duty above all!" "By Jove!" "Unless.." " Unless?" "The investigation into the pounds doesn't resolve the problem." "We've made a very interesting discovery." " What?" "We found traces of a human tooth on the coin." "Yes?" " Yes." "By Jove!" "This is very important." " At your orders." " Come with me!" "Come here, here." "I remember, I remember.." "A fragment of human tooth." " By Jove!" "A fragment of human tooth." "Human tooth." "A tooth." "With tooth decay?" "It's a fragment.." " Human." "Witchhazel!" " Hazelnut!" " Hazelbut!" "Why are we wasting time on fragments of teeth?" "Our office isn't a dentist room!" "For heaven's sake!" "Go find something more important!" "Get out of here!" "Get out!" " I'm going." "I don't want to see your face again!" "Understood?" "A tooth!" "He found a tooth!" "If only it was a judge's tooth." "Hazelmutt!" "Navelnut!" "It's very simple." "Tell the barman not to send dinner." "Just invent some excuse." "For example, the old man isn't feeling well." "Then, Salvatore brings him his dinner disguised as the waiter." "The old man has a few bites and falls asleep instantly." "With three or four of these he'll sleep like a bear." "And we can proceed with our plan, to the rhythm of rock and roll." "Look closely." "Susceptible, like a Dillinger pistol." "Luckily, the problem is resolved." " Resolved?" "How?" "A nice little idea." "At nine, precisely, Salvatore takes dinner to the guard." "With four or five pills.." " Five, six." "We're not saving them." "By the way.." "Where's Salvatore?" " He's training." "He wants to be the best goalpost in Naples." "In a few hours.." "With a quick phone call, we'll find out if the guard is sleeping peacefully." "Like an angel." "At midnight we'll blow the safe." "We'll let the alarm ring for a while." "Someone will notice." "No one will hear a thing." "Because it will be new year's eve." "We'll be celebrating the second world war." "Did you get it?" "The fireworks will cover any noise." "By the way." "What about your friend who will sell the merchandise?" "As agreed, we should meet him tomorrow morning.." "If all goes to plan." "Esposito, Giuseppe!" " That's me!" "Don't you realise they're all called Giuseppe Esposito." "They're all Esposito." "The commissioner said.." " Get inside!" "You as well." "The others at the end of the corridor." "Well, Castagnato?" "I'm waiting for your autograph." "Interesting." "Very interesting." "I accept your proposal." " Modestly speaking, It's my offer." "And from my wife." "Yes, agreed." "It's interesting.." "but you're offering too little." "The merchandise is worth more." "Unfortunately, my dead friend, 110 million.." "is the most I can offer." "You know, life is tough." "Times are hard." "If you're happy with my rate." "The rate.." " I'm happy with it and because I thought of this we'll leave it at that." " Then we're agreed." "On the morning of the first, we'll meet here at nine." "So, Castagnato.." "You're from America." " Right." "A beautiful country." "I was there in my youth.." "I've been everywhere:" "Alcatraz.." "San Quentin.." "Sing Sing." "Great places." "We drank, we ate, we were happy.." "Enough of that." " Let's talk about us." "The deal is, you pay us for the merchandise in cash." "It's a considerable sum." "The banks are closed on the first day of the new year but we need the money on the first." "Do you agree?" " Naturally." "You don't know my criminal record but I'm a man of honor." "I'll take out the money the day before and I'll keep it here for you." "In my.." "How do you American's say?" "Office." "It's like being in a bank." " But is it safe?" "It's bomb proof." "It's magnificent." "It helps me sleep peacefully at night." "It really is magnificent." "You can walk well in them." "The specialists have done their job." "Marvelous, marvelous." "Now, the bases are in place." "The bases?" "What do you mean?" "You see, my feet were driving me crazy." "So the only remedy was cream of corn." " Corn cream." "I'll tell him in Italian.." "Corn cream." "Everything's fine." "Magnificent." "Are you tired?" " Have you been busy?" "The roads in Naples aren't suited to American cars, I must walk." "And what stage are you at?" " I can't complain." "My bureau of information, intelligence service," "Company!" "Works." " Castagnato hasn't been seen around." "Castagnato is prudent but I'll tell it like the pope:" "The pope." "He said, "Give me time, walnut, and I'll crack you open."" "This is a Latin proverb you American's won't know." "Castagnato will show himself." "You'll see if he doesn't move." "And I'm not moving." "The merchandise is untouchable." "Understand?" "Are you sure it's how you say?" "I saw it with my own eyes, the station was full of Espositos." "All waiting to be questioned." "Soon, the police will know none of them own the packages." "Holy cow." "We were so well organized." "What can you do?" "These are the uncertainties of the job." "Don't worry, we'll plan something else together." "Later, when the water's calmed down." "In the meanwhile, be sure of one thing:" "Don't touch the merchandise." "Understood?" "I just don't get it." "Deep down, what are we complaining about?" "We'll keep fifty pounds, then, we'll sell the tools and the van." "Enough." "Where are you going?" " I'm leaving.." "I'm going to find a friend and see if this Esposito story is true." "We're the victims of a conspiracy." "While we're sleeping peacefully, he'll take all the loot and run off." "He'll run off." "Yeah, right." " Exactly." "What are you doing, uncle Alberto?" "I'm cooking eggs with a blowtorch, we've run out of coal." "I told you never to trust women." "You're right, you can't trust them." "And her, with all her ambitious plans.." "She might be scheming with him." "I could have hit him the other night when she went to his house." "He's a suspicious man." "He was born an asshole." "We'll wake up tomorrow morning and they'll have run off with the loot." "It will take a lot more than that to get one over on a Scognamiglio." "Without knowing how to read or write, we'll still carry out the robbery." "It's been so well planned." " Count me out, I'm sick." "And you?" " I can't, I've got an urgent appointment." "Yes?" "Listen, I've decided like this." "The person in charge is the head of the family, as that's me in this house!" "What I say goes!" "Uncle Alberto?" "Uncle Alberto." "I'm sorry, Vincenzo." "I'm sick." "Get dressed or I'll make you take a bath." "A bath?" " Yes." " I'm better, I'm fine now." "The Scognamiglio family." "To us." "Come on." "Don't look around." "Hurry." "Uncle Alberto." "Heaven watch over us!" " We need to act!" "Leave the brioche alone." "Come on, let's go." "Chapter one.." " The flame." "No, the pills!" " Right." " Quick." "We'll use six, that's what he said." " Will six be enough?" "How do I know?" "It's written in American." "Did you put them all in?" " Perfect." "Remember to be careful.." "If he asks you where Peppino is?" "My name's Genarino." "Peppino's celebrating New Year at home." "Isn't Christmas on the second?" " Salvatore is an idiot." "Go on." "Hurry up." "Why are you standing there?" "Come inside." "Good evening, I'm not Peppino." "Peppino's gone.." "I can see you aren't Peppino." "You look half asleep." "When I was your age I used to jump like a cricket." "Put it over here." "Hurry up." "Merry Christmas." "Hey, you!" "Are you leaving yesterday's things here?" "Two minutes to midnight." "I say we get out of here." " What are you talking about?" "The suitcase." " I forgot." "Come on." " It's heavy." "Come on, uncle Alberto." "It's midnight." "Interpol will be here soon!" "Uncle Alberto." " What?" "I'm shaking." "I can't go on." "My little box, calm down, calm down." "I can't go on!" "Do something, uncle Alberto!" "You're a genius." "Thanks to San Gennaro!" " The police?" "The squad is here." "Who's speaking?" " Hello?" "Corporal Cannavale." "I'm asking to be put through to Sergeant Raffaele Santucci." "Sergeant, tell our listeners, what's it like for a policeman on New Year's Eve." "It's all quiet Maybe even the thieves are celebrating." "We have a surprise for you, Sergeant." "Your mom who has come.." "Hey." "Hey!" "He's not going to wake up anytime soon." "He drank it all." "What are you eating?" "A brioche." "Why are you sitting down?" "Let's go." "Can't I eat in peace?" "I was resting, you continue." "I'm going to rest, I'm an old man!" "I've got a weak heart!" " We can't rest." "The boxes?" "They were next to the stairs." " Then let's get out of here." "They aren't here anymore." "Uncle, you're sitting on them!" "Come on, uncle!" " Wait, I've dropped my popcorn." "To my health." "What are you drinking?" " Champagne." "We'll never taste anything as good as this again." "Down!" "So, this Castagnato.." " Just think about the boxes." "Wait!" " He's woken up." "Grab the lamp." "What are we going to do?" " What do you think?" "Let's go." "Uncle Alberto!" "Get some water." "Some water?" "This guy needs holy water!" "Let's call an ambulance!" " Uncle Alberto!" "Cavaliere?" "Cavaliere!" "I got it all wrong." "I'll never live it down." "Magdalena was right." "I'm an idiot!" "It was all true." "Vincenzo, I'm getting out." "I've got to say a prayer to San Gennaro." "And also, St. Ambroglio of Milan." "Because union creates strength." "Where is he?" "Who?" " Castagnato, where is he?" "Castagnato, here?" "Have you gone mad?" "Where have you been all this time?" "Magdalena!" "Magdalena, forgive me." "I'm stupid fool!" "I'm a miserable worm!" " You dumb idiot, get your hands off!" "And you two!" "Is this what you've been up to?" "Was this your great idea?" "You're fools!" " I thought.." "What were you thinking?" "You shouldn't think!" "It hurts you to think!" " Calm down, Magdalena!" "We'll throw it all in the sea, and it will all be over." "You'll go back to the Garofalo depot and you'll put it all back." "It can't be done, Magdalena." "It can't be done." "If I say so, you must do it!" "What is it?" "What do you want?" " The guard is dead." "Vincenzo!" "Remember, I'm not home for anyone." "I'm not here." "I've gone abroad." "A whiskey, please." "What time is it?" " 01:20 01:20?" "My watch works." "It's exactly the same." "What's happening now?" " Fred Buscaglione is going to sing." "# What a night that night." "# My bones were broken alright." "# I was waiting for that blonde at the packed Roxy bar." "# The all curvy girl of boss Billy Car." "# What a fog that night." "# Three policemen had me in their sights." "# But for an appointment with Sugar Marr, # when there's a fight, I can go far." "# I leave, I see her and she.." "# but the fog brought out the others, you see." "# Buck the Plague, Jack Swindler and the brothers Bolivar." "# While under a lamplight whistled Billy Car." "# What a fight that night." "# Jaws were broken left and right." "# I have a 100 kilo left and the right, you should know, # only one could beat it, but I gave him the K.O." "# They fall down, I count them, they're six." "# Then I count again because you never know." "# And that minx approached me and what she did, do you know?" "# She straightened my tie, whispering, "Shall we go?"" "# What kisses that night." "# I'm a tough guy, but soften when held tight." "# I went on a trip with the platinum blonde," "# Just think in a year, she'll have me foolish and fond." "# What a night!" "What fight!" "What kisses!" "# Holding me tight!" "# Boys, what a night that night." "Excuse me, lady." "It's taken." " It was taken." "I came here to look into your eyes." "You'll catch a cold." "What do you want?" " A whisky, please." "Do you know who I am?" " Introduce yourself." "I get it.." "You must be the commander who's taking his daughter for a dance." "That's enough." "Waiter!" "Waiter!" "Waiter?" "I want the police!" "Call the police!" "It's nothing serious." " I want to leave." "We'll still have a great night." " Yeah, a great night!" "Good evening, colonel." "They threw me out." "Unlucky for them!" "They've lost the most entertaining guy of the night." "Good evening." "To hell with the new year!" "Didn't you hear me?" "Down with the guards!" "Come over here, you." "I'll tell you to your face, listen.." "I've got to tell you a secret." "You'd better not tell anyone.." "I warn you." " Okay, tell me." "Down with the night guards!" "And all the the day guards!" " Get out here!" "Down with Naples!" "The worst team in the league." "Scognamiglio, it's for you." "Hello?" "It's you." "It's Cerdella." "What is it?" "It's not late." "We've still got an hour before the appointment." "What?" "I assure you I.." "Don't even think about it." "I'll deal with this myself." "Goodbye, Cerdella." "I'll keep you informed." "What's going on, Magdalena?" "Someone broke into the safe." "110,000 missing." " What a coincidence!" "Coincidence, my foot." "Castagnato!" "Finally, a friendly face." " Calm down, Captain Di Savio sent me." "I'm glad he remembers me." "Can I have a shower?" " The shower can wait." "The commissioner wants to see you right away, let's go." "After you." " Stop talking.." "You first, me first." "Walk." "You come as well Salvatore." "The more we are, the better." "Salvatore will watch the cases." "Come on, let's go!" "It's dangerous in there, I haven't got the courage!" "Hey, Sergeant.." "This doesn't seem like the way to the station." "We're not going to the station." " Will you tell me where we are going?" "We're going to Cerdella's place." "See if he's upstairs." "I hope we find something." " Let's start with the pistols.." "Excuse me, may I?" "Happy New Year, Mr Joe." " There's no one here." "I'll see if he's near the coffee." "Uncle Alberto." "Where are you going?" "This is insane." "A crime takes place and you didn't call the police." "I would've called you but you didn't give me any time." "You arrived right after the robbery." "How did you know?" "We have a forensics department which works perfectly." "We've finished inside." "We're taking the safe back for further study." "We have an expert here." "Listen closely, this job must have been planned to perfection." "A class act." "How long do you think it would've taken to do this?" "Out of the way, please." "They did a good job.." "Just by looking at it, I'd say no more than four or five hours." "There are a lot of things to consider:" "quality of the materials, experience." "I'm talking about you." "How long would you have taken?" "Whatever you folks say." "I told you, I'm being profane." "Okay." "You're wanted on the phone." " Let's go." "Yes?" "It's me, the commissioner." "He's dead?" "Damn it." "What did they steal?" "By Jove." "What did you say this place was called?" "Garofalo?" "I'm on my way." "Well, commissioner?" "Can I go?" "Not yet, Mr Profane." "You've been very helpful, if you don't mind, I'd like to abuse your kindness." "Abuse away." "Thank you." "I'll abuse." "Vincenzo, come here." " I didn't find anything, dear." "It's a parking ticket." "This means Castagnato's got a car." "Did you know he had a car?" " No." "So, it was a secret." "It was so important, he had to keep this secret in his private journal. (secretaria)" "Castagnato's private secretary?" "What are you talking about?" "I know what I'm saying." "We might have found what we came for." "He would've needed Salvatore's help." " Salvatore?" "Yes, Salvatore." "Are you always asleep?" "Put it back." " Yes, yes." "Come here." "What have you done?" "You're worse than a child." "It's an American tie." " It isn't American." "You shouldn't have taken it." " Let's get out of here." "It's hot, Castagnato." "It's hot, but it's strange.." "It's January." "January or July, the presence of a corpse always makes me cold." "Sure, I agree." "Castagnato, tell me.." "What do you make of all this?" "Was it an amateur job?" "Thieves who like creating a spectacle." "But why did they leave a body behind when they were only stealing jam?" "There's a body here." "This is serious." "We can't under value this." "We can't take this dead guy" "Tie him into a ball and throw him out with the rubbish." "How strange." "Smelling this perfume.." "It seems like your own." "From Paris." "What a coincidence." "Listening to you, it's as if you were here." "No one heard the alarm last night." "Because no one could've heard it." "All those fireworks outside." "Understood?" " Yes." "You don't think I organized all the end of year festivities for other reasons?" "No, heavens no!" "I wouldn't dare think that." "However, you.." "You could've.." "Benefited?" "How stupid of me." "I'm forgetting, last night you were.." "..a little drunk." "Castagnato, all psalms end in glory but not this one." "Someone left a psalm here last night, hidden in these cases of jam." "Perhaps they had a weakness for pineapple jam." "Pineapple." "Who said pineapple?" "I'm just guessing.." "If they came from America, they wouldn't be cases of cherry jam." "Right." "I liked this discussion about pineapple." "I like this talk about pineapples." "Yes." "You're a great collaborator." "Where are you going with this?" "I don't understand why you wanted to spend New Year's eve outside?" "If you'll permit me, I'll tell you." "Okay?" "You needed an alibi with lots of witnesses." "So, you got yourself arrested." "But you got your times mixed up!" "Yes!" "From the moment of your arrest to the time of the robbery." "An hour and a half had passed." "I said an hour and a half." "More than enough time to do the robbery." "Castagnato, in the name of the law," "I declare you under arrest for murder and robbery!" "Are you joking?" "Have you gone crazy?" "Do you think I would've invented such an absurd alibi?" "Yes, you're alibi was perfect.." "Perhaps, for the FBI." "But for us in the QDN," "Your alibi stinks, dear sir!" "Do you know something?" "It's repugnant." "Castagnato, remember, get this into your head." "Whenever I go out," "I always keep an ace in my sleeve." "You've got no proof." " You're wrong you gave it to us." "All by yourself!" "Yes, for this job you didn't just sign it once, you signed it twice." "Here." "You must know where this car park is." " You have to know." "Relax, let me concentrate." "Let's let him concentrate." " He's an idiot." "There are lot's of mustaches." " There are lot's of mustaches." "Is the serial number any use?" " No, it's too dirty." "Dirt, mustaches.." "It must be Big Phil O'Stinky near the piazza del Plebiscito." "Will you tell me where I can find the money?" "What money?" "I've got nothing to do with this." "You've got no evidence against me." " God damn it.." "Will you tell me where the money is?" "You're fixated on this." "I told you I don't know anything." "Want a cigarette?" "Come on, Joe.." "I'm here to help you." "I want to work with you." "I'm your friend." "Come on, a little effort." "Try to remember, if you were elsewhere last night, between midnight and one thirty." "Who goes there?" "Come in." "I can't find Macmillan." " It's not important." "It means he's also elsewhere." "Come on, Joe." "Will you make a little effort?" "Try and jog your memory, to remember where we were." "Let's make this effort together." "We'll do it as a team." "Very well, commissioner." "I'll tell you the truth." "The whole truth." "There it is!" "Let's go." " Yes." "Uncle!" "I'm having breakfast!" "I've got flat feet!" "It must all be in the trailer." "The car is empty, I've already looked." "Vincenzo, go to the van and get something to open it." "Salvatore, go to distract Big Phil." "I want to see where Cerdella's millions ended up." "Cerdella!" "In moment like this you even find the time to tell jokes." "Please, invent something more serious!" "I swear it's the truth." "Castagnato.." "This Garofalo business, an hour and half is enough time." "But Cerdella would've taken six hours." "You said so yourself." "Come on, uncle Alberto." "We'll be here all day." "There we go." " Cerdella's safe." "Open the car." " I'll take care of this." "That scumbag Castagnato!" " What a crook." "Salvatore will take the van and follow us, hurry up." "Cerdella's millions are in a car park, locked up in a safe in the trailer." "Millions?" "Don't make me laugh." "They only stole 100,000 from Cerdella." " No, commissioner, you bought it." "Were talking about 100 million." " Millions?" "Yes." " And you left them in a car park?" "Yes." " I'm giving you a chance." "Sergeant..?" " Hazelnut." " Hazelnut." "Accompany him to the car park." " Let's go." "What do you expect me to remember?" "This is the busiest car park in Naples." " You must remember." "You must remember." " What does he want?" "This is abuse, Sergeant." "300 to 400 cars pass through here every 24 hours." "At your service." " Castagnato." "I warn you, our patience is at it's limits." "Where is the money?" "Okay, brigadier." "I'll tell you where it is." "I'll also tell you who stole them." "How are you walking?" "Idiot!" " Vincenzo.." "Look at the newspaper." "The morning edition." "What's going on?" " We need to call Cerdella." "Cerdella?" " Yes, Cerdella." "Hello?" "Magdalena." "I knew you had it together." "You've found all of it." "Great." "What?" "You want to return my money." "Our deal is still on, naturally." "You give me the British pounds and I'll pay you in lira." "I don't care about what happened." "Excellent." "Bring me the British pounds." "I'll tell you the combination.." "32.." "84, 7." "Exactly." "A man of honor." "Magdalena, be here in an hour." "You'll bring it here on a trolley." "Don't go too fast." "I kiss your hands." "The insurance." " You've giving them everything?" "Eccelini, Eccellini, you don't get it." "Scognamiglio?" " Yes, Magdalena, Alberto.." "Salvatore, Vincenzo." " Do you know them?" "I know Alberto." "He used to steal boxes by the port." "I thought he'd retired." "Castagnato says this Alberto landed him in it." "Castagnato, you let yourself be fooled by an elderly box thief." "Talking of boxes.." "there's a dead man here." "We're talking about murder." "They're looking at thirty years." "What do we do?" "Shall we arrest them?" "No, put them under surveillance." " Hurry up, commissioner.." "You're losing precious time." "The evidence will disappear." "We aren't losing time here." "Here in Naples we work!" "We start at seven in the morning just like in Milan, we work hard." "Castagnato, in Naples, we're in full swing!" "Is that clear?" "3.. 2." "We're almost there." "I wonder if uncle Alberto's arrived." "Perhaps we were wrong to send him alone?" "I'll buy a new fur coat." " I'll buy a new car, I'll have my own one." "Just one." "Magdalena, finally.." "We'll go on a honeymoon far away." "In Rome." "Sure we will." " Open it!" "4.. 7." "We're there." "They're forgeries." "Forgeries!" "Did you get it?" "I'm a man of honor." "And I will not tolerate being taken advantage of." "Careful." "By the Scognamiglio family." "Have I explained myself?" "Ours.." "is a perfect organization." "There are those on top.." "..and those underneath." "Are you sure they're forgeries?" " I'm certain." "Uncle Alberto and I distributed them throughout Naples." "We were promoting soap powder." "You never know." "Either way, there's always the blind." "That damned Cerdella." "He played us!" "And it's all your fault!" "Only yours!" "You're nothing but fools." "That's what you are." "And you?" "You aren't a worker, you aren't a husband or a thief!" "You're nothing, nothing!" "Do something." "I always have to do everything." "That's why we're here." "Salvatore." "You'd better leave." " Why?" "We're going to end up in jail." "For what we've done, it's jail." "Vincenzo." "It's the first time you've said the right thing." "I never thought about it." "This is the last one." "Everything's resolved." "Yes." "Castagnato is next door ready to be transferred to prison." "I think the case is closed." " Closed, it's just a word." "It's almost closed." " Almost?" "We've got the stolen money." "We know who the thieves were." "This is a personal success of yours." "In fact, I'm so happy I want you to release Castagnato." "Have you gone mad?" "What do you mean?" "It's all circumstantial." "Deep down, what proof do we have?" "We've got the French perfume." "The popcorn." "Do you think I'd put him in prison on New Year's eve over some perfume and pop.." "What do you call it?" "Popcorn." "Basilnut!" " Hazelnut." " Hazelnut, this isn't a joke!" "Someone was murdered." " Did we kill him?" "First of all, he was old." "Old people die." "After 100 years they die, clear?" "Besides, if he was abusing bar.. bar.." "Barbiturates!" "We're not to blame!" " Sure." "My dear Hazeldud.." " Hazelnut!" " Hazelnut!" "I know what I'm doing!" "I've got an ace up my sleeve!" "You've done a great job." "Magnificent police.." "The best in the world." " Thank you, inspector." "Thank you." "I almost forgot." "A small formality.." "Just sign here and it's over." "Naturally." "When are you leaving?" " Tomorrow, I've booked my flight." "I can't wait to get the merchandise back to New York." "They're waiting for me." " Sure, I understand." "By the way.." "Castagnato?" "If Castagnato isn't against it, he will remain here." "The important thing is we recovered the loot, I mean to say the British pounds." "Commissioner, the FBI salutes you." " Thank you." "Pleasant journey." " Inspector.." "The QDN, section NFH." " What does it mean?" "Don't worry about it." "I'll explain next time we meet." "Great flight." "Father Di Savio of the QDN." "Section NFH." "What is this NFH?" "No ones a Fool Here." "May I, my son?" "Excuse me." "Case solved." "Subtitled by the Lucio Fulci Freedom Front Revised by sineintegral@KG." "Dedicated to Lucio Fulci 1927 - 1996 (RIP)" "For Cinemageddon.." "..again." "Merry Christmas"