"In every generation there is a Chosen One," "She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness," "She is the Slayer," " You don't know what you're talking about." " Oh, Xander, he was obviously in charge." "He was a puppet." "She was using him." "He didn't seem like the type of guy who would let himself be used." "That was her genius!" "He didn't know he was playing second fiddle." "Buffy..." "Who was the real power, the Captain or Tennille?" "Um, who are these people?" "The Captain and Tennille?" "!" "Boy, somebody was raised in a culture-free environment!" " I'm sorry!" "I was just..." " Thinkin'?" "No, not thinking." "Having a lot of happy not-thoughts." "I love it when things are quiet around here." "Yeah, with Spike and Drusilla out of the way, we've really been ridin' the mellow!" "And I am really jinxin' the hell out of us by sayin' that." "Yeah, but we'll let you off this time." "So, we're pretty sure there are no more Tarakan assassins coming our way?" " Angel's sources say the contract's off." " How is Angel?" " Pretend I care." " Getting better." " You're loving playing nursemaid?" " Oh, yeah." "So is it better than playing naughty stewardess?" "Xander!" "You guys wait here a second." "No!" "Mom!" "Oh, my..." "I'm sorry." "I..." "I heard..." "Uh, I broke a wine glass." " You're home early." " Hi." "Hi." "Oh, this is my daughter Buffy." "Buffy, this is Ted." ""Ted"" "OK, here we go!" "So, all these late nights at the gallery recently," "I gather you were cataloguing more than art." "Well, I..." "I've been looking for the right moment to introduce you two." "He's a wonderful man." " Sprinkle that on..." " Uh, a little more." "OK, more..." " How'd you meet?" " Oh, he sells, uh, computer software." "He redid my entire system at the gallery." "Freed up a lot of my time." "To meet new people." "And smooch them in my kitchen." "You weren't supposed to see that." " I like my new nine-gig hard drive." " But you don't love it." "'Cause without the DMA upgrade, your computer's only half a rocket ship." " Yeah, but who can afford the upgrades?" " You can." "I get the demos for free." "I don't see why I shouldn't give them to you for the same price." "Any friend of Buffy's..." " What?" " That's the sound she makes when she's speechless with geeker-joy." "Can I just say, this is the finest pizza ever on God's green earth." "What is your secret?" "Well, after you bake it, you fry it in herbs and olive oil, but you gotta use a cast-iron skillet." " No room for compromise there." " You know, you should market these things." "I mean... you can get 200-300 bucks apiece!" " Hungry?" " No, thanks." "Buffy, I want to apologize." "That wasn't how I wanted us to meet." "I wanted it to be... perfect." "I'm very fond of your mother." "I guess that's pretty obvious." "I know you're the most important thing in her life and..." "Well, gosh, that makes you pretty important to me, too." "Buffy, I really want you to be OK with this." "Beg to differ." "We really want you to be OK with this." " I'm OK." " You are?" "I am!" "Buffy, I believe he's, um..." "It's, it's... staking time, really, don't you think?" " Any others?" " For their sakes, I certainly hope not." " What?" "I kill vampires." "That's my job." " True, true." "Although you don't usually beat them into quite such a bloody pulp beforehand." " Everything all right?" " Yeah." "Fine." "I killed a vampire here on Wednesday." "Why are they hanging out at the park?" "Well, they're... scattered, you know." "Now their leaders are gone, with any luck dead." "In times of crisis, they usually return to the easiest feeding grounds." "Vampires are creeps." "Yes, that's why one slays them." "I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come." "They run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini pizzas and everyone's like, 'I like your..." " But I'm telling you, I'm..." " Uh, Buffy..." "I-I believe the... subtext here is, is, rapidly becoming, uh... uh, text." "Are you sure there's nothing you want to share?" "No." "Forget it." "Think there'll be any more?" "I can wait." "If you say one more word, things will become dire." "Did you even bother to taste 'em?" "No!" "Well, I did." "And I'm here to tell ya, those mini-pizzas have changed my life!" "Ted is the master chef!" "Fine!" "So he's a good cook." "Well, what does that really tell you about a person?" " Everything." " You don't like him." "I, I mean, so far all I see is someone who apparently has a good job, seems nice and polite, and my mother likes him." "What kind of a monster is he?" "I'm just saying there's something a little too clean about this clown." "He's a clean clown!" " I have my own fun." " Buff, you're lacking evidence." "I think maybe we're in Sigmund Freud territory." "He has a point." "Separation anxiety, the mother figure being taken away, conflict with the father figure..." " He's not my father figure." " Having issues much?" " I am not!" " # You're having parental issues!" " # You're having parental issues!" " Xander..." "What?" "Freud would have said the exact same thing." "He might not have done that little dance." "OK, I admit it's weird." "Seeing my mother Frenching a guy is definitely a ticket to therapy-land, but it's more than that." "And I'm pretty good at sensing what's going on around me, and there is definitely something wrong with this..." "Ted." " Ted!" " Of course, Ted." "Who'd you think" " I was talking about?" " Hi, Ted..." "Ted who's here." " Hello, kids." " What are you doing here?" "I'm updating the software in the guidance office." "Which reminds me." "Your upgrades." " Oh, what a day!" "Thank you." " Think nothing of it." " Buffy, do you like miniature golf?" " Who doesn't?" "!" "Well, your mother and I were thinking maybe this Saturday we could drag the three of you out to the course, spend some time swinging the iron with the stuffy old people." " Well..." " I'm making a picnic basket." " With mini-pizzas?" " And cookies." "You know what?" "We would love to, honestly, but, um, unfortunately, we have that thing on Saturday." "Oh, that thing!" "That thing." "Hey, we can do that thing any time." "I'm tired of doin' that thing." "We're on." "Great!" "Hello, Jenny." "Rupert." "Hi." "Some of your, uh, textbooks were delivered to the library." "Um..." "Do you want me to, uh, hang on to them?" "Yeah, that's fine." "I'll send the kids by to pick 'em up." "Right." "Good." "Pretty flimsy excuse for coming by to see me." "You should have heard the ones I threw out!" "I just, I wanted to, uh..." "see how you were doing." "I'm doin' pretty good, actually." "I've stayed out of mortal danger for three whole weeks." "I could get used to it." "I'm still having trouble sleeping, though." "Of course." "Um, you need time." "Or possibly space." "Rupert, I know you're concerned." "But having you constantly poking around, making little puppy dog eyes at me, wondering if I'm okay..." "You make me feel bad that I don't feel better." "I don't want that responsibility." "I'm sorry." "I certainly don't mean to make... dog eyes... at you." " I'm just..." " Worried." "I know." "I shouldn't have bothered you." "So mom's like, 'Do you think Ted will like this?" "' and 'This is Ted's favorite show,' and 'Ted's teaching me computers,' and 'Ted said the funniest thing,' and I'm like, 'That's really great, Mom,' and then she said I was being sarcastic," "which I was, but I'm sorry if I don't wanna talk about Ted all the time." "So you're gonna talk about somethin' else at some point?" "I'm sorry." "I just have so much to deal with." "I don't need some new guy in my life." "No?" "Maybe your mom does." "Well, sure, if you're gonna use wisdom!" "Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is." "OK, so my mom needs a guy in her life." " Does it have to be Ted?" " You have somebody else in mind?" "There's a guy out there that would satisfy you?" "My dad." "Yeah, OK, that's not gonna happen." "Fine, fine." "I'll give Ted a chance." "I'll play minigolf and I'll smile and curtsey and be the dutiful daughter." "Do I have to like him?" " Kiss me." " Finally something I wanna do!" "Ah!" "The dreaded five-par cuckoo clock!" "Ha!" "So many have come, so few have conquered." "That picnic was delicious!" "You know how rare it is to find a man that cooks?" "I know I've been looking a long time for one!" "So, Buffy, I bet the boys are lined up around the block" " trying to get a date with you." " Not really." "Oh, they are, but she's only interested in..." "Uh, her studies!" "Book-cracker Buffy." "It's..." "kind of her nickname." "I'm glad to hear it." "I bet that means your grades will be picking up soon." "My grades?" "How does he know about my grades?" "I told him." "He wants to know everything about you." "He's concerned." "That's a good thing." "Ooh, nice shot, Ted!" "Keep your eye on the ball." "Watch those elbows!" "Oh, bad luck, little lady!" " Oh, we won't count it." " We won't?" " No, it's just miniature golf." " It is, but the rules are the rules." "And what we teach her is what she takes out into the world when we're not there, whether it's at school or an unchaperoned party." "I don't mean to overstep my bounds." "This is between you and your mother." "I just think... right is right." "He has a point." "Fine." "I'll just go hit my ball from the rough." "Hey, how about that?" "Got a hole in two!" "Beg to differ." "OK, so fine my score or whatever." "I think you're missing the point here, little lady." "Right is right." "Wrong is wrong." "Why don't people see that?" " It's just a game?" " Right, it's just a game, do your own thing." "Well, I'm not wired that way." "And I'm here to tell you it is NOT a game, it does count, and I don't stand for that kind of malarkey in my house!" "Then I guess it's a good thing I'm not in your house." "Do you want me to slap that smart-ass mouth of yours?" "Who's up for dessert?" "I made chocolate-chip cookies!" " Yummy!" " Cookies!" "Yeah!" "I-I made, uh, too many, so you guys are gonna have to take some home!" "Mm!" "Buffy, you've got to try one of these." "They're really good." "Mm!" "These are tasty!" " Good morning, sunshine." " Hey." "I've got juice, I've got sticky buns." "Don't they smell good?" "Ted made them." "What?" "I'd just like to eat something round here that Ted didn't make." " What kind of an attitude is that?" " Look, mum, I know" " you think he's great and all..." " He went out of his way to be nice and you couldn't say two words to him on Saturday." "I do not expect you to love him right away like I do, but I do expect you to treat him decently." "You love him?" "I don't know." "That just slipped out..." "But I guess." "I mean it's not exactly like" " men beat down the door..." " when you're a single parent." "Honey, look, I wouldn't have anything to do with anybody if they didn't care about you, but he does!" "I don't understand why you can't see that." " He threatened me." " What?" "He threatened me." "He said that he was gonna slap my face." "He said no such thing." "Honey, Ted told me what happened." " He caught you cheating, didn't he?" " Yeah, I kicked my ball in." "Put me in jail." "But he totally wigged." "And he didn't say anything about this in front of the others, did he?" " No, but I don't think that's..." " I thought that was pretty decent of him." "Ted said we have to give you time to come round." "Oh, speaking of which, he's making dinner for us tonight, so I'd like you home, please, promptly at six." "Mm!" "This is so delicious!" " What do you mean, check him out?" " I mean investigate him." "Find out his secrets, hack into his life." " Can you say "overreaction"?" " Can you say "sucking chest wound"?" "Buffy, it just seems like you want him to be corrupt or something." "The guy lost his senses over minigolf." "So he's a little uptight." "Last I heard that's not a slaying offense." "Don't gimme the look!" "I'm on your side." "I'm just saying there are some things in life you have to accept." "And I'm saying Ted ain't one of 'em." " Hey, Cordy, nice outfit!" " Oh, very funny." " Not really." " What are you saying?" " Nice outfit?" " Why don't you just keep your mouth shut?" "Would you guys excuse me for a sec?" "What's up with them?" " What's wrong with you?" " I gave you a compliment." "In front of your friends." "They're gonna know!" " Know what?" " Please!" "It's too traumatic for me to even say it!" " That we kissed?" " Uhhh!" "Look, I'm not gonna tell." "They're not gonna know." "Not your friends, not my friends." "You wanna go to the utility closet and make out?" "God!" "Is that all you ever think about?" "OK." "Will, I'm not wrong here." "Ted has a problem with me." "He acts like..." "I'm in the way or something." "And Mom's been totally different since he's around." " Different, like happy?" " Like Stepford." " Will you help me?" " You know I will." " What do you want me to look for?" " Let's start small." "Can you find out where he works?" "Yeah, it's a terrific product." "No PC should be without it." "No, Mrs. Lansdale, it is not an inexpensive piece of software." "As a matter of fact, it's a very expensive one, which removes the risk of crashing your whole system." "Of course, if you prefer something cheap, I can always recommend..." "Trust me, you won't be sorry." "Thank you very much." "Goin' to lunch!" "You're new, aren't ya?" "I'm Neal." "I'm B..." "Linda." "Belinda." "I'm just temping for the day." "Wow!" "That guy's a salesman." "I guess he's the one to beat around here." "Nobody beats the Machine." "The guy is a genius." "Knows everything about computers, never loses a client." "If I sound bitter, I am." "Well, nobody likes an overachiever." "He's probably got ex-wives and families to support." "He's just got a girlfriend." "I'm amazed he let her clutter his desk." "Thank God he's takin' off for the wedding." " The wedding?" " He's got it set for two months from now." "Believe me, I am counting the days." "Uh-oh, the Über-Boss." "Back to the salt mines." "We thank you for what we are about to receive, and we ask that you bless this house and help the people in it to be more productive, more considerate... and more honest." " Amen." " Amen." "Well, another great day at work." "How was school today, Buffy?" "Did you learn anything?" " Quite a bit." " Good for you." " Well, Joycie, what do you think?" " Every home should have one of you." "It's fantastic!" "Don't you think?" " Looks good." " Well, you know, little lady, it's not just for looks." "It's for building strong bodies." "Honey?" "Are you two engaged?" "Goodness, no!" "Whatever gave you that idea?" "Now, Joycie, let me handle this." "Buffy, your mother and I are taking it one step at a time." "And if things go the way I hope, maybe... someday soon I just might ask her to tie the knot." "How would you feel about that?" "It's OK to have feelings, Buffy, and it's OK to express them." " I'd feel like killing myself." " Buffy!" "No, no." "I told her to be honest." "Sweetheart, you should try and get used to me, 'cause you know what?" "I'm not going anywhere." " May I be excused?" " You can go to your room, young lady, that's where you can go." "Ted, I..." "I am so embarrassed!" "I-I-I don't know what's wrong with her!" "Joycie, you don't get to be salesman of the year by giving up after a couple of rejections." "She'll come round." "Vampires!" "Here, vampires!" " What are you doing in here?" " Your mother told you to go to your room, Buffy." "You and I both know she didn't mean climb out a window and go gallivanting about town." "First of all, this is my room." "Second..." " You've been going through my things?" " Yes, I have." "That's my personal property!" "How dare you?" "!" "I don't see how it's any different from you snooping around my office, do you?" "What exactly is a "vampire slayer"?" " It's none of your business." " Beg to differ, little lady." "Everything you do is nothing but my business from now on." "I think you'd better get out of here." "Now!" "Or what?" "You'll slay me?" "I'm real." "I'm not some goblin you made up in your little diary." "Psychiatrists have a word for something like this: delusional." "So from now on you'll do what I say when I say, or..." "I show this to your mother." "And you'll spend your best dating years behind the wall of a mental institution." "Your mother and I are going to be happy." "You're not going to stand in the way." "Sleep tight." "That's mine, and you are not leaving this room with it." " Take your hand off me." " No." "I was so hoping you'd do that." "Buffy, stop that!" "Stop it!" "Ted..." "Ted!" "Ted!" "You killed him!" "Ma'am, I'm Detective Stein." "I'm sorry, but I need to ask you a few questions." "Your relationship with the deceased?" " We were, um, seeing each other." " Can you tell me what happened?" "He fell." "Down the stairs." "He fell." "I see." "Did he slip?" "Do you know what made him fall?" "I hit him." "I hit him." "He was in my room... and we got into an argument." " About what?" " He..." "Was this the first time that you two had had an argument?" "No." "He threatened me." "He said that he would slap me." " That was tonight?" " No." "But he had my diary, and..." "I tried to take it back, and that's when he hit me." "Where?" "No, it doesn't look like he hit you very hard." " I don't bruise easily." " So, you've been hit before?" " Yes." " But Ted never hit you?" " I told you..." " Before tonight?" " Ted never hit you before tonight?" " What do you want?" "I told you what happened." "I didn't mean to!" "I believe you." "Things got out of hand." "He's a big guy." "Are you charging her with something?" "We're not bringing anything up against your daughter right now." "She says Mr. Buchanan struck her, and if that's the case..." "Anyway, we've gotta examine it further." "Right now you should take her home and the two of you should try and get some rest." "Buffy!" " Are you OK?" " How come you're here?" "I couldn't stay at home." "Mom won't even look at me." "What happened?" "Unless you don't wanna talk about it." "We had a fight and I lost my temper." "Really let him have it." "The paper said he fell." "He fell." "Hard." " What was he?" " What?" "What was he?" "A demon?" "A giant bug?" "Some kind of a dark god with the secrets of nouvelle cuisine?" "I mean, we are talking creature-feature here, right?" "Oh, man." "But I'm sure it wasn't your fault." "He started it." "Yeah... that defense only works in six-year-old court, Will." "Court?" "Wait, wait." "Are they charging you with something?" "I don't know." "Not yet." "He was a person... and I killed him." " Don't say that." " Why not?" "Everyone else is." " And it's the truth." " It was an accident." "I'm the Slayer." "I had no right to hit him like that." "Look, Buffy, I don't know what happened exactly, but I do know you." "And I know you would never hurt anyone intentionally." " Well, you know, unless..." " Unless... they were dating my mother?" "I gotta go." "Buffy!" "Are you all right?" "Oh, uh, stupid question, I'm sorry." "Look, i-i-if there's anything you need, of course, just, just ask." "What's going on?" "Oh, you needn't worry about them." "They're just asking a few questions." "Your, your, your behavior and..." "Um, I..." "Of course, I told them you, uh..." "Man, this is killing me!" "That bastard was up to something, I know it!" "If I could get my hands on him..." "earlier this week..." "I thought you liked him." "I sometimes like things that are not good for me." "Besides, no way, no how does Buffy put the big hurt on an innocent man" " Nice Uncle Ted was dirty." " We've gotta prove that somehow." " Xander, do you have a pen?" " If Buffy has to go to jail because of that creep, I'm gonna lose it." "He's gotta be in there, Will." "A history of domestic violence, a criminal record..." "Ooh!" "Cookies!" "I don't get it." "Buffy's the Slayer." "Shouldn't she have..." " What, a license to kill?" " Well, not for fun." "But she's like this superman." "Shouldn't there be different rules for her?" " Sure, in a fascist society." " Right!" "Why can't we have one of those?" "Buffy's not going to jail." "It's not fair." "Whatever the authorities have planned for her, it can't be much worse than what she's doing to herself." "She's taken a human life." "The guilt, it-it's, it's pretty hard to bear, and it won't go away soon." "I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time?" "Yes." "Do let's bring that up as often as possible." " So, Giles, you takin' over tonight?" " Um, Buffy's not in any shape to patrol." "The least I can do is pick up the slack." "Someone has to." "Giles, you shouldn't go out there without the Slayer." "Until Buffy regains her equilibrium, there is no Slayer." " If you need help..." " No, uh..." "Buffy needs your help more than I. You carry on investigating, see if you can find out as much about this Buchanan chap as possible." "Be careful." "I will." "Ted's got no criminal record." "Damn, this guy's like citizen of the year!" "Don't sweat it." "It'll be fine." " Don't sweat it?" " Yeah, cute buddy!" "We'll work it out." "No worries." " What happened to "this is killing me"?" " Worrying isn't gonna solve any problems." "Can I help?" "It's done." "I've been meaning to clean out this junk for months." "Do you have homework?" " I didn't mean to hurt him." " I don't wanna talk about this." " Mom, please, you have to know..." " I can't." "Not yet." "Please, Buffy, just go to your room." " OK..." " What do we know?" "Well, apparently the secret ingredient is not love." " What is it?" " I'm not positive, but I think it's Dematorin." "It's like a tranquillizer." "Keeps you all mellow and compliant." "It also shares a few components with ecstasy." "This is evidence!" "This is real evidence that Ted was some kind of crook!" "Buffy's cleared." "Willow, you are the best human ever, I adore you!" "That's the cookies talkin', but you rock!" "Well, your search finally hit pay dirt." "I got some personal records, marriage certificates, and an address." "Well, let's check it out." "Get our Slayer back on her feet before somebody else gets hurt." "Yeah, I get that reaction from men all the time!" "Jenny, what are you doing here?" "I saw your car back there." "I wanted to apologize." " Well, now is... not the best time to..." " No, no, please, please, let me just..." "Let me get this out." "I was so... harsh the other day." "I am so sorry." "I mean, I know how badly you must feel about putting me in danger before, and..." "Imagine how I must f... feel now." "Mom?" "To hell with this!" "She nailed it shut." "Well, it's official." "This day can't get any worse." "Beg to differ." " You died." " That's right, little lady." "You killed me." "Do we have something to say about that?" "Are we sorry?" " What are you?" " I'm a salesman!" "That's what you should have remembered." "No matter how you put him down... a good salesman always bounces back." "My bag!" "See, I had to shut down for a while to get you off my back." "You should have seen the intern's face when I got up off the table." "It was a hoot!" "Fun's over, though." "Say good night, big guy!" "Oh, God!" "Oh, no!" "Nice shot, lady!" "That wasn't playin' fair, missy!" "You're gonna find..." "Hell of a day!" "Makes you feel like you're 18 again!" "that I don't like being disobeyed!" "Don't worry about me and your mother." "We're gonna be very happy." "Careful!" "Let's look around." " I'll take the back." " Check for cookies." "For evidence!" "So far I've counted four marriage certificates." " Any divorce papers?" " Not a one." " So, either our boy was a Mormon, or..." " Whoa, whoa!" "1957?" "Ted must have married young." "Like, pre-school young." "Nothing interesting back here." "Doesn't look like anybody's worked here, let alone lived here." "Something's missing here." "This doesn't seem like Ted at all." "Yeah, and this rug, it doesn't go with the rest of the decor." "Buffy..." "I'm sorry." "I know you didn't mean to..." " Joyce?" " Ted!" "Is it really...?" "But you were..." "I'm OK." "I'm OK." "I don't understand this." "You were dead!" "They said I must've been dead for six minutes." "They said any longer and it would've caused brain damage." " Oh, why didn't they tell us?" " Nobody knew." "They took me to the morgue, I was unconscious for almost a day." "An intern found me." "It's a miracle, Joyce, a miracle." " Oh, Ted!" " I know." "Oh, my God!" "Buffy!" "Oh, Ted, I swear, she never meant to hurt you." " You have to believe me." " You don't have to worry about Buffy." "You don't have to worry about anything." "Daddy's here." "Feels like home..." "if it's the fifties and you're a psycho." "What you got in the closet, Ted?" "Let's go." " But we need evidence." " We got it." " What's in there?" " His first four wives." "You know what brought me back, Joyce?" "It was you." "I couldn't go into that light." "I had to come back for you." "I'm gonna make you so happy." " You should sit down." " I feel fine." "Never better." "Ted, I think I should talk to Buffy first, before she sees you," " 'cause I'm sure..." " Do we have to worry about Buffy right now?" "How about worrying about Teddy?" "He's the one who died!" "I-I-I'm, I'm sorry, I just..." "I..." " I don't know what to do." " Don't I always tell you what to do?" "I'm going to make things right." "Then you and I..." "Want a little gravy with that?" "can go away where no one will bother us again." "Ted, I..." "I think you might wanna rest for a while." "I think you might wanna stop telling me what to do!" "I don't take orders from women!" "I'm not wired that way." "Oh, God." "I am so sorry." " I think I'm all right." " No, you're just in shock." "No, no, really, I, uh, I don't think it went in too deep." "The advantages of layers of tweed." "It's better than Kevlar." "Oh, OK, alright, we have to get you to the hospital." " Yes, yes." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Oh!" " Come on." " Let's move slowly, shall we?" " Sorry." "OK." "What?" "What is it?" "Some night, huh?" "Hey, you really know how to woo a girl back, don't ya?" " Ow!" "Ow!" " Hospital." "Yes." "I-I think I could use a drink." "Uh, to-to-to celebrate!" " We should probably be hitting the road." " Hitting the road?" "You're going to love the house." "It's furnished just the way you like it." "I spent a lot of..." "Telling me what to do!" "... time decorating." "Well, then, I'd probably better go pack." "I already have your clothes." "They're your size." "They're always your size." "You left me once, but I keep bringing you back." "Husband and wife is forever." "Forever." " Let's go." " Ted, let go, please." "Get off me!" "Fine, then." "I'll have to carry you." "Buffy, come out!" "I don't stand for this kind of malarkey in my house!" "Uncle Teddy..." "This house is mine." "Buffy, how about a nice game of Parcheesi?" "D'you wanna rent a movie tonight?" " That sounds like fun." " Just nothing with horror in it." "Or romance." "Or men." "I guess we're Thelma and Louise-ing it again?" "Mm-hm." "Good call." "I still think he's gonna jump out at me..." "Especially after what the police found in his house." "It's just too horrible." "I wouldn't worry." "He's not coming back." "I wish I could be so sure." "Trust me." "He's on the scrap heap." "Of life." "So I'm Ted, the sickly loser." "I'm dying and my wife dumps me." "I build a better Ted." "He brings her back, holds her hostage in his bunker-o-love until she dies." "And then, he keeps bringing her back, over and over." "Now." "Now, that's creepy on a level I hardly knew existed." "The sad part is, the real Ted must've been a genius." "There were design features in that robot that predate..." "Willow, tell me you didn't keep any parts." "Not any... big ones." "Oh, Will, you're supposed to use your powers for good." "But I just wanna learn stuff." "Like how to build your own serial killer?" " Uh, it's so hard to rent one nowadays." " Can we just drop the subject?" "Absolutely." "I plan to forget the whole thing and pick up right where we left off." "OK, that's it." "I give up." "Do I have to sound an air horn every time I walk into a room?" "I mean, what is it with grown-ups these days?" "Subtitles by: ?" "Extended and timed by:" "UAR"