"♪ from the dusty May sun ♪" "♪ her looming shadow grows ♪" "♪ hidden in the branches ♪" "♪ of the poison creosote ♪" "♪ she twines her spines up slowly ♪" "♪ towards the boiling sun ♪" "♪ and when I touched her skin ♪" "♪ my fingers ran with blood ♪" "♪ when the last light warms the rocks ♪" "♪ and the rattlesnakes unfold ♪" "♪ the mountain cats will come ♪" "♪ to drag away your bones ♪" "♪ and rise with me forever ♪" "♪ across the silent sand ♪" "♪ and the stars will be your eyes ♪" "♪ and the wind will be my hands ♪" "True Detective - 1x03 "The Locked Room"" "You were as blind to Him as your footprints in the ashes, but He saw you." "He saw you in those dark corners." "He heard you" "Oh, my brothers, He heard those thoughts." "Yes!" "Preach it." " Amen!" " Yes!" "Yes." "Glory." "You are stranger to yourself, and yet He knows you..." " Amen." " Yes." "He does, sir." "...and when your heart hardened, made you liken to the stone, and broke you from His body, which is the stars and the wind between the stars," "He knew you." " Yeah!" " Yeah!" "He knew you." "That is forever." "Amen, brother!" "This world is a veil..." " Amen." " Yeah." " Tell them." " Hallelujah." "...and the face you wear is not your own." "Parish FD said the church burned down 4 months earlier, no prints, put out an APB on Friends of Christ." "Week later, we were in Franklin, um, Revival Ministry, old-time religion." "You can imagine what Mr. Charisma thought of that." "It is merely the limitation of your senses." "What do you think the average IQ of this group is, huh?" "Can you see Texas up there on your high horse?" "What do you know about these people?" "Just observation and deduction." "I see a propensity for obesity, poverty, a yen for fairy tales, folks putting what few bucks they do have into little, wicker baskets being passed around." "I think it's safe to say that nobody here is gonna be splitting the atom, Marty." "You see that?" "Your fucking attitude." "Not everybody want to sit alone in a empty room beating off to murder manuals." "Some folks enjoy community, the common good." "Yeah?" "Well, if the common good has got to make up fairy tales, then it's not good for anybody." "Your sorrows pin you to this place." "They divide you from what your heart knows, and there are a lot of good hearts out there." "I'm looking out there." "I'm seeing a lot of good hearts out there." "I see a lot of joy out there." "I mean, can you imagine if people didn't believe, what things they'd get up to?" "Exact same thing they do now, just out in the open." "Bull...shit." "It'd be a fucking freak show of murder and debauchery, and you know it." "If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then, brother, that person is a piece of shit, and I'd like to get as many of them out in the open" "as possible." "I guess your judgment is infallible piece-of-shitwise." "Do you think that notebook is a stone tablet?" "What's it say about life, hmm, you got to get together, tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day?" "No." "What's that say about your reality, Marty?" "When you get to talking like this, you sound panicked." "You figure it's all a scam, huh, all them folks?" "Mm-hmm." "They just wrong?" "Oh, yeah." "Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey," ""He said for you to give me your fucking share."" "People so goddamn frail they'd rather put a coin in a wishing well than buy dinner." "Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Your arms open and close." "The echoes of my life could never contain a single truth about You." "You move the feather in the ash." "You touch the leaf with its flame." " Amen!" " Amen." "Transference of fear and self-loathing to an authoritarian vessel." "It's catharsis." "He absorbs their dread with his narrative." "Because of this, he's effective in proportion to the amount of certainty he can project." " Yeah!" " Yeah!" " Yeah." "Certain linguistic anthropologists think that religion is a language virus that rewrites pathways in the brain, dulls critical thinking." "Well, I don't use $10 words as much as you, but for a guy who sees no point in existence, you sure fret about it an awful lot, and you still sound panicked." "At least I'm not racing to a red light." "...every self-doubt because he knows it." "See, we all got what I call a life trap, this gene-deep certainty that things will be different, that you'll move to another city and meet the people that'll be the friends for the rest of your life," "that you'll fall in love and be fulfilled." "Fucking fulfillment, heh, and closure, whatever the fuck those two" "Fucking empty jars to hold this shitstorm, and nothing is ever fulfilled until the very end, and closure" "No." "No, no." "Nothing is ever over." "Minister Theriot, do you recognize this girl?" "I don't know for sure." "Wonderful sermon." "Well, thank you for coming." " Thank you." " Thank you." "I want to say it's" "Thank you." "I don't remember the name, came pretty regularly when we was in Eunice, but I can't be sure." "We get around since then." "You?" "Oh, hello." "No." "You're right." "We saw her in Eunice." "Tina might know her." "Mm-hmm." "How long were you in Eunice?" "About 6 months." "Widow in Opelousas leased us cheap." "We left when it caught fire." "Any idea how that happened?" "Your people said criminal mischief." "If I was to lay odds, maybe one of the widow's sons wanted us off the land, but we move on." "We seek no title nor retribution." "I'm gonna go find David." "Okay." "Yeah." "Great preaching." "How long you been doing this?" "Been preaching almost 20 years." "We've had Friends of Christ for the last 8." "You with a church before that?" "Independent evangelical." "I came up under Billy Lee Tuttle, went to his college in Baton Rouge a couple years." "So back in Eunice, who painted the mural on the church wall?" "Children from our congregation painted it." "I'm sorry." "Something happen to this girl?" "You looking for her?" "Mr. Theriot, can we see the identification of your staff members?" "You ever see her with anybody?" "Wasn't she with someone the one day?" "You remember?" "The tall man." "Yeah, but I don't know if she was "with him" with him." "Well, can you describe him?" "I just saw them talking." "I didn't get close or anything." "He was hunched forward talking to her, kind of a strange face, I think, skin shiny around his jaw." "Ah, what, like burned?" "Uh-huh." "So did she leave with him?" "Yeah, maybe like that." "Arrested 10/89 on a 314, spent last year in solitary after a gang altercation." "Print and hold." "Thank you." "Copy that." "Everything check out?" "For the most part." "Burt, you spent two years in Angola-- indecency, public exposure, whacking off outside a school." "They gave me bad medicine." "I didn't know." "I paid for that." "I paid for that." "Can you account for his whereabouts" "December 25 through January 3?" "Yeah." "Christmas to New Year's, we was in New Roads." "Shouldn't be a problem to find people who'll vouch for Burt's whereabouts." "We had a good turnout there." "Good turnout in" "Detective, what is it you think happened?" "Someone killed this girl, made a big show of it... left a painting of the crime scene on one of your old churches." ""I am the resurrection and the light for those who believe in me."" "Was she raped, Detective?" "Why would you ask that?" "If you speak to Burt alone," "I believe you'll be adequately convinced of his innocence, Detective." "Okay." "Let's do that." "Burt, go with the Detective." "The ontological fallacy of expecting a light at the end of the tunnel, well, that's what the preacher sells, same as a shrink." "See, the preacher, he encourages your capacity for illusion." "Then he tells you it's a fucking virtue." "Always a buck to be had doing that, and it's such a desperate sense of entitlement, isn't it?" ""Surely, this is all for me." "Me." "Me, me, me." "I, I." "I'm so fucking important." "I'm so fucking important, then, right?" Fuck you." "Excuse us for a second." "I didn't know." "Easy." "I am not gonna hurt you." "I'm not gonna hurt you." "Oh." "Compassion is ethics, Detective." "Yes." "It is." "I ran checks on all of them." "Everyone has got a clean record except for Burt." "I could see this being some kind of retard job-- pays for it, gets ashamed, overreacts, tries to redeem the act, like, you know?" "That's not bad, Marty..." "Well, yeah." "I got all the way there without your help." "...but it's not him." "He did a deuce at the farm for dick wagging." "Should've been in a mental ward to begin with." "Give me the second half." "Angola." "Some Bloods caught him in the shower, took his balls off with a razor." "They were sloppy about it." "Oh, Jesus." "Still" "I braced him." "He shit himself, literally." "We can put some troopers on this place, have them surveil it, but I think we should move on, the tall man." "Well, that could be bullshit." "One threw it out, and the other one picked up on it." "No." "Burt knew." "He saw the tall man, too." "This, that Marie Fontenot thing, there's no way Lange was his first, no fucking way." "Rosie, can you help them get out, please." "We haven't matched any signatures." "One guy in the fed database used crowns, another a set of antlers" "Michigan lifer." "Then he called the signature wrong." "We don't know that there's any connection to Marie Fontenot." "Yeah, but the lattices, the symbology-- some kind of culture to it, Marty." "I mean, he wanted us to find this one, like he was showing off." "That cane field is our stage." "Make a suggestion, then." "We start at zero, they're gonna hand it to the task force." "Well, somebody missed something." "We need to go back, check all files." "Any DBs in state the last 5 years, we start there." "We don't have the hours." "Shit, man." "Look." "I've noticed you have a tendency toward myopia, tunnel vision, blows investigations." "Vision skews, twists evidence." "You're obsessive." "You're obsessive, too, just not about the job." "Not, me, brother." "I keep things even, separate, like the way I can have this one beer without needing 20." "People incapable of guilt usually do have a good time." "Try not to be too hard on myself." "Well, that's real big of you." "You know the real difference between you and me?" "Yeah." "Denial." "The difference is that I know the difference between an idea and a fact." "You are incapable of admitting doubt." "Now, that sounds like denial to me." "I doubt that." "We'll put out an APB on any tall man with facial scarring..." "Okay." "...telex the hospitals for patients that fit." "Good." "So Cohle was trying to keep it from the task force." "Looking back, you ever think maybe he tried to push things where he wanted them to go?" "No." "We went where the case led us." "But you took it up, though, his serial theory." "Well, as arrogant as he could be, he was right." "I mean, that's how we got our man." "Uh-huh, but I like it this way, you know?" "It's steady." "Bullshit, really." "Look." "I did all the counseling and stuff." "This is just the way things are." "No." "Things don't stay the same." "Pick up what you keep, and you leave the rest behind." "People get better." "Well, that's the thing." "I think I am better." "You really think so?" "Uh, trust me." "Maybe you just think you prefer it this way because it's what you're used to." "Your life accommodates you." "You don't have to be afraid of loss." "Those are the guys I was telling you about." "They get a dog, fish, what have you." "You start with that." "You live with it." "Hell, I suppose you could set me up with a nurse, get me some of the good drugs." "Mm-hmm." "New start." " Daddy." " Daddy." "Hey, kids." "Hey, honey." "How you doing, Marty?" "What's going on, Rust?" "Brought the mower back." "Mow my yard?" "Yeah." "I saw it needed mowing, returned the favor, borrowing." "We got etouffee, trying to get Rust to stay for dinner." "Oh, yeah?" "Stay for dinner, Rust." "Nah." "I think I got to get." "Maggie, thank you for the tea." "Sorry to hear that." "See you Monday." "I'll walk you out." "Hey." "Hey!" "What?" "What the hell do you think you're doing, man, at my house when I'm not here?" "Returning the mower." "You know what I mean." "You mow my lawn?" "Hmm?" "Just what'd you think I'd be doing over here when you're not around, Marty?" "What's our problem, you and me?" "No problem." "I just don't ever want you mowing my lawn, all right?" "I like mowing my lawn." "Oh." "That is your team, Daddy?" "Yeah, baby." "That-- I want them to win." "Uh, hey, Audrey, your mom and I want to talk to you a minute about those drawings you did in school, yeah?" "Mace, run to your room." "Why?" "Because I said so." "Run to y" "Go." "Go on." "Go." "Go." "Run." "Look." "You don't have to get upset, honey, okay?" "We just want to talk to you." "Where'd you see that before, hmm?" "Why'd you draw that?" "Because other girls liked it and they thought it was funny." "That's all." "Yeah, but where'd you get that idea, hmm?" "The girls dared me to do it." "Oh, God." "That upsets people, Audrey." "It's ugly." "It makes something that should be nice ugly." "I'm sorry." "Oh..." "Shh." "That's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay, sweetie." "Well, I'm not saying that I got any room to talk, but do you know what it means to be a father?" "It means you are accountable for other people." "You are responsible for their lives." "Now, past a certain point, there's a futility in responsibility." "Hey." "That's the extent of your concern?" "Well, no." "I just don't know what looking at it any more is gonna do." "It's her." "I'm concerned." "Well, she's just trying to get attention, and the other girls" "Jesus, how do they even know about that stuff yet?" "Girls always know before boys." "Why is that?" "Because they have to." "Listen to me." "She's withdrawn." "She asks about you, and she wants to know why you're working so much now." "Well, I should be working less." "Task force is gonna take that case, and I'll be around more." "Last week?" "I'm sorry about that." "I should've begged off." "We were having a good night." "Don't stop me." "Talk." "I'm close, Marty." "Do you hear me?" "I'm close." "Um, they're gonna pull that case from us, and I'll be around more, and we'll do things." "Why is there all this space between us, Marty?" "I don't know what you mean." "You do know what I mean, and you won't say, and that's it." "That's what I'm talking about." "This last year, you've been a sulky teenager." "You know it." "I'm trying to be your friend, Marty." "I'm just not good at... you know, expressing." "We change, don't we, and sometimes not for long." "And here I'm thinking people don't really change at all, not who they are at heart." "You know, I try to remember things because I feel like I should, like it's my job or something, you know, early days, and I'm tired of trying to remember." "Part of this-- and I'm not talking about the part that's all my fault-- but part of it, it's just life." "We used to spend weekends without leaving my room." " That's not what I mean." " Remember that?" "Of course we don't screw like we're 19." "God, you want low expectations." "You know, you put a ceiling on your life, on everything, because you won't change." "You were so much smarter when I met you, you know?" "I'm sorry, Maggie." "I'm sorry for everything-- for not being here, for taking all this for granted." "What have you been doing, Marty?" "I" "Work, home, cases." "Just" "I get to feeling like" "Look." "I can see 40... and it's like I'm that coyote in the cartoons, like I'm running off a cliff, and if I don't look down and keep running," "I might be fine, but, um..." "I think I'm all fucked up." "You are." "Yes." "You are." "Marty?" "Anyway, well, we pulled a few hospital patients-- tall, scarred, sex offenders." "One kid did BEs." "He had to tug one out before he could leave a scene." "Phew." "Yeah." "A lot of room work then." "Which one of you guys is the box man?" "You, yeah?" "I used to be pretty good in there myself, not as good as Rust." "I know, son." "I can read this off you." "You're not bad." "It's not you." "There's a weight, and it got its fishhooks in your heart and your soul." "Now, what you did is not your fault." "It's not." "You was drug to the bottom by that same weight, the same weight that won't let you get along in a job, and same weight that wouldn't let you get along at school... same weight that wouldn't let you" "have a mom." "I know these things, Chris." "I'm weak." "I'm sick." "I get into the houses, and I can't leave until I go all over the drawers." "Listen to me, son." "You got one way out, and it's through the grace of God." "You're only how the Lord made you." "You are not flawed." "We, you, me, people, we don't choose our feelings." "There's grace in this world, and there's forgiveness for all, but you have to ask for it." "I do." "I do." "I want that." "I want it." "I want that." "I'm asking." "I'm asking." "Tell me." "Tell me." "Please just tell me what to say." "I want to confess." "I want to confess." "Sorry about that." "Your assist record, man, that's something else." "Any pointers?" "Oh, I never really found it that hard." "You just look at somebody and think like they think, negative capability." "I mean, I guess it's a skill." "Most times, you don't even need that." "You just look them in the eyes." "The whole story is right there." "Everybody wears their hunger and their haunt, you know?" "You just got to be honest about what can go on up here, a locked room.... but then again, I'm terrible at cards." "Ha, ha!" "Yeah." "So while we were grilling BE jerkoffs and burn victims," "I decided to put insomnia to good use." "_" "People." "I've seen the finale of thousands of lives, man-- young, old." "Each one is so sure of their realness, that their sensory experience constituted a unique individual with purpose, meaning... so certain that they were more than a biological puppet." "Well, the truth wills out, and everybody sees once the strings are cut, all fall down." "Maggie says he's shy." "I wouldn't say that." "Definitely not shy about speaking his mind." "Well, that's not what I mean." "His personality." "He's edgy." "Yeah, intense, more like, introverted." "I don't want another drunk." "The last cop you showed me" "No." "Wait." "Steve was going through a tough time." "He threw up in my lap." "Don't worry about that." "Getting him near you lap is gonna be the challenge." "Oh, hey, speak of the devil." " Hey, Rust." " Martin." " Hey, Maggie." " Hi, Rust." " Jennifer." " Rustin." "Nice to meet you." "Well, you walk over here?" "Well... okay." "Just when I thought he couldn't get any stranger." "Are you serious?" "He tastes colors." "So what is synesesia?" "Synesthesia." "It's a misalignment of synaptic receptors and triggers-- alkalis, colors, certain metallics." "It's a type of hyper sensitivity." "One sense triggers another sense." "Sometimes I'll see a color, and it'll put a taste in my mouth." "A touch, a texture, a scent may put a note in my head." "I've heard that." "It can be a side effect of a statin." "It's not a side effect." "So when something feels good, does that mean it feels twice as good, like from two different ways?" "It could." "Yeah." "The waitress will bring them, babe." "Why wait?" "I'll be right back." "Refill and two rums." "Ohh..." "Hi." "Can I have another beer?" "Thank you." "What are you doing?" "What's it look like?" "I'm on a date." "Aren't you?" "Heh." "So are you gonna go home with this guy?" "Huh?" "It's really none of your business." "Do you fuck your wife?" "What do you want me to do?" "Look." "Is this your way of trying to talk divorce?" "My God, Marty, I don't want to marry you." "That's my whole point." "It's just run its course." "No, it hasn't." "Come here." "Have a shot with me." "Gonna play a little something everybody should dance to." "Hey, I didn't just come here to drink, you know." "Let me just set this down." "It'll be fun." "Yeah." "What?" "Oh, nothing." "Thought I saw a guy who supposed to be in parish." "So what's Alaska like?" "It's beautiful." "It's not Paris, but it's clean, and it's clear." "You've been to Paris?" "For a month." "What'd you do in Paris?" "Mainly just got drunk in front of Notre Dame." "Each stilled body so certain that they were more than the sum of their urges, all the useless spinning, tired mind, collision of desire and ignorance." "You asked about the interrogations." "You want to know the truth?" "I never been in a room more than 10 minutes" "I didn't know whether the guy did it or not." "How long does it take you?" "Rust spent a lot of off duty running DBs, weeks of it, coon hound in another life." "Coon hound?" "I meant raccoon hound." "Everybody is a fucking drama queen nowadays." "Jesus." "Look." "If working his theories, if his job was his idea of himself, fine." "I mean, the rest of us had families, people in our lives, good things." "People give you rules." "Rules describe the shape of things." "Come on!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck, Marty, get out of here." ""Fuck, Marty." Is that all you got for me?" "Stop it." "Go home." "I don't want this anymore." "You got that little shitbird in here?" "Go away." "I'll call the cops." "Well, let's see how that works out for you." " I know other cops." " Okay." "Get out." "Marty, get out." "But she said she was single." "Marty, God!" "Stop!" "Stop it!" "Did she suck your dick, huh?" "Stop it!" "She suck your fucking dick?" "Stop it!" "Get out!" "Get off." "Get off!" "Yeah." "You try it?" "Oh, you tell me, or I'll have some Ninth Ward prison queen wearing your face for a condom." "Did she suck your dick?" "Just for a little bit." "Get off." "Please stop it." "Sorry I got in your face, guy." "I wouldn't have really done something like that." "I'm not a psycho." "That's why I always said I think Rust needed a family." "It's boundaries." "Boundaries are good." "This is Cohle." "Rust, you're home." " It's me." " Yeah." "What's wrong?" "I'm sorry." "Steve Geraci said he caught something." "He needed help." "I almost called the station, but what's the point?" "You know they lie." "I got to put you on the spot." "You know if it's true?" "I didn't hear anything, but then again, I wouldn't." "I mean, Geraci wouldn't pull me." "He hates me." "You drop Jen at home?" "Yeah." "I walked her to the door." "You didn't go in?" "You don't have to fall in love at first sight, you know." "Yeah." "I know." "Look." "She's nice, pretty." "There's comfort there, Rust." "I think you guys would be good together if you gave it a chance." "You guys don't give things chances." "I don't know why that is." "That's because we know what we want and we don't mind being alone." "Go to bed, Maggie." "Marty'll be home." "Take care." "Holy shit, 3 days in a row." "Is that a new personal record?" "Fuck off." "I will take my first shit through your sunroof." "Hey, hey, I found one, I think, another girl from earlier." "Come here." "3 years ago, a flood in Abbeville, they pulled this girl out of the river." "Hold it." "It says here that her death was accidental-- drowned, water in the lungs." "How's that him?" "Coroner says the branches and debris from the flood caused these injuries, all right?" "I understand the ribs and the arms, but the hyoid?" " Still" " No fucking way." "Look at this, lacerations to the abdomen, plus she was positive for meth and LSD." "They said she was high, fell in." "Hmm." "Look at the posterior." " Holy shit." " Yeah." "IDed as Rianne Olivier-- 22, lives in Pelican Island, population 300." "Grandpa is still there, got a phone at the dock." "I don't know if I can sell this shit." "Two days, we dig in this direction." "If this is his, it's some kind of archetype." "DB, Ville Platt, machinist." "You're up." "Hey, we caught a break in the case, boss." "I thought you were handing that off." "What break?" "KA of the victim." "Might've known the killer, boss." "Might've seen him." "We follow up." "We still got a few days." "Two days, and it goes to task force." "You two catch again." "We'll try that serial theory out on him, he will pull you just for spite." "Pelican Island is two hours away." "Here we go." "Put your hand in his hand." "The good church teaches that the Christian church does not teach that, the Catholic church does not" "Hey." "Mm-hmm?" "Think a man can love two women at once," "I mean, be in love with them?" "I don't think that man can love, at least not the way that he means." "Inadequacies of reality always set in." "This pipeline is carving up this coast like a jigsaw." "Place is gonna be underwater in 30 years." "Do you think" "Do you wonder ever if you're a bad man?" "No." "I don't wonder, Marty." "World needs bad men." "We keep the other bad men from the door." "That's him." "When's the last time you saw your granddaughter?" "She left 4 years ago, like her ma." "Wasn't surprised they found her like that." "Yeah." "Everybody think they gonna be something they not." "Everybody, they got this big plan." "She had a boyfriend you know about, a man?" "Eh, she took up with that Ledoux fella-- older boy, shit family-- run off with him." "I ain't never had nobody ask me about him before." "He just tell me she died in the flood." "That Ledoux family, they still live around here?" "Oh, maybe a cousin or two." "Been shrinking every year." "Hurricane Andrew wiped most of the folks out around here." "So you got a full name on that Ledoux boy?" "Reggie." "Reggie Ledoux." "Father is Bart Ledoux-- works offshore, drunkard." "I heard he died." "Heh." "So where'd Rianne go to school?" "Light of Way when it was open." "Kids either went there or they were bussed to Abbeville." "State said a kid got to be bussed two hours away to school." "I ain't too big on them God botherers." "Between them and the government" "How about her parents, other relatives?" "Father is a merchant seaman." "Mother is in California, last I heard." "Do you have anything of hers-- possessions, anything that'd give us an idea what he might have been like?" "What you boys looking all this up for?" "I was told she drowned in the flood." "Now, I ain't no idiot." "You telling me she ain't done drowned?" "We don't know that, sir." "We're just looking for a man who might have known her." "Who?" "That's what we're trying to figure out." "He ended up having a little box of her stuff, had her last yearbook, tenth grade, not a hint of feeling from the old man, kind of got blinders, but why'd he keep the box, huh?" "Did he ask himself?" "Anyway, I guess, that's one way to do it-- keep your eyes on the crab traps." "Kind of reminded me of Rust a little bit." "This school is small, grades one through 12." "Rianne Olivier." "Here she is, tenth grade." "Hmm." "_" "This school was part of Tuttle's foundation." "_" "Good afternoon." "Afternoon." "This place shut down '92, right?" "Yeah, the way I heard it." "What'd you hear?" "Oh, Andrew blew it out." "Guess they didn't think it was worth cleaning up." "Do you work here, then?" "No, sir." "I work for the parish, cover several properties." "I-23?" "I-23." "Go." "I've got comeback on your RI." "Reginald Ledoux-- DOB 11/13/60." "You know anybody who went here or worked here back then?" "Mm, no, sir." "I only been coming here the last few months." "Parish added it to my work order." "Thank you for your time." "Who walks that fucking slow?" "What you got?" "RI just came back." "Reggie Ledoux skipped parole 8 months ago." "He's got a stat." "rape complaint, charges dropped, but '93, he's busted in connection to a narcotics lab used to make meth and LSD, which Dora Lange and Rianne were full of." "Right." "Ledoux did two years at Avoyelles, and guess who his cellmate was the last 4 months." "Charlie Lange." "I got to give you this one." "I started to believe you were going a little off your nut." "I mean, you're bonkers, just not on this." "All right." "Where was Ledoux?" "Getting a list of relatives, kas." "Been out of pocket since jumping parole." "We'll find him." "This makes sense." "Looks good, baby." "All right." "We are on our way." "To Avoyelles." "Fuck, yeah, Martin." "Let's go." "I'm calling the interstate APB and the US Marshals on this." "I-23 to dispatch." "Come in, I-23." "What can I say?" "I thought for a minute, you just liked looking at pictures of dead people." "I need an all-state APB on one Reginald Ledoux." "RI came back with info." "All US Marshals and Highway Patrol, be advised, detain on sight, over." "Roger that, Detective." "We've got that sent now." "Mm, mm, mm." "And finally, we arrive at Reginald Ledoux." "Heh." "Come on, man." "You want to ask me, ask, goddamn it." "You ever been in a gunfight?" "No." "Well, then how the fuck you gonna know what I'm talking about?" "Man, that place-- I never" "That day, it reminded me of my pop talking about 'Nam and the jungle thing." "Look." "Me talking about what happened back then, that ain't gonna do you any good now." "This" "This is what I'm talking about." "This is what I mean when I'm talking about time and death and futility." "There are broader ideas at work, mainly what is owed between us as a society for our mutual illusions." "14 straight hours of staring at DBs, these are the things you think of." "You ever done that?" "Hmm?" "You look in their eyes, even in a picture." "Doesn't matter if they're dead or alive." "You can still read them, and you know what you see?" "They welcomed it, mm-hmm, not at first, but right there in the last instant." "It an unmistakable relief, see, because they were afraid and now they saw for the very first time how easy it was to just let go, and they saw" "In that last nanosecond, they saw what they were, that you, yourself, this whole big drama, it was never anything but a jerry-rig of presumption and dumb will and you could just let go finally now that you didn't have to hold on so tight... to realize that all your life" "you know, all your love, all your hate, all your memory, all your pain-- it was all the same thing." "It was all the same dream, a dream that you had inside a locked room, a dream about being a person... and like a lot of dreams... there's a monster at the end of it."