"Previously on The Affair..." "At some point, fate takes over a story, and even the author himself loses control." "What's Harry's issue with the end?" "He thinks I'm afraid to follow through on my original idea." "You have something powerful to say." "I just want you to say it." "I'm going to issue a court order preventing Ms. Bailey from any contact with the four children." "I think I found us an apartment." "I-I don't think we can live together." "It's temporary, Al." "It's just months, and then we have our whole lives together." "I'm leaving my wife." "The last I heard, he was in Tulsa with his former student." "He says he's in love." "No, it's Thursday." "Your dad's picking you up." "No, it's not Wednesday." "It..." "Shit!" "Stay there, honey." "I'll be right there." "Hands behind your back, please." " Mom!" " Both of my hands behind me." "What's going on, Helen?" "You forget to come get them?" "Are you the husband?" "We found an eighth of marijuana in her purse and a vaporizer." "You're fucking stoned?" "With the kids in the car?" "His stomachaches seem to be getting worse, especially when you come around." "There's something wrong with Martin." "I don't know." "It's his stomach." "What?" "Hospital?" "I'm not going to the hospital." "She was sex." "She was the reason the word was invented." "No marriage, no matter how strong, could survive her." " You're Solloway's lawyer." " What's it to you?" "♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪" "♪ At the moment of my death" "♪ The echo I created" "♪ Outlasted my last breath" "♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪" "♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪" "♪ And when he died his widowed bride ♪" "♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪" "♪ I have only one thing to do and that's ♪" "♪ Be the wave that I am and then ♪" "♪ Sink back into the ocean" "♪ I have only one thing to do and that's ♪" "♪ Be the wave that I am and then ♪" "♪ Sink back into the ocean" "♪ I have only one thing to do and that's ♪" "♪ Be the wave that I am and then ♪" "♪ Sink back into the ocean" "♪ Sink back into the ocean" "♪ Sink back into the o" "♪ Sink back into the ocean" "♪ Sink back into the o" "♪ Sink back into the ocean" "♪ Sink back into the ocean" "_" "All right, so Creon, the king of Corinth, tells her she's banished, and she's, like, so pissed off at him." "What does "banished" mean?" "Uh, it means, like, um..." "like exiled." "Yeah." "What's "exiled" mean?" "Like..." "like kicked out." "Like, "You need to leave now." "Vamos."" " Hey, speaking of leaving..." " Oh, hey, Mom." " Hi." " Dad'll be here in ten minutes." "Wait, what?" "Yes, the game starts at 1:00." "Come on, wrap it up." " But he's almost done." " Yeah, I am." "Well, he can finish it tonight." "Stace, go upstairs." "Put your shoes on." " Tell Martin to come down." " Can I just stay home?" "I need to finish this." "It's due tomorrow." "I mean..." "No." "You shouldn't torture him, Helen." "If he doesn't want to go, he can stay here with Whitney." "Trev, come on." "Trev!" "Ow!" " Jesus!" " Helen!" "Hey, I should be pitching today." "Just because he bought the tickets" "I don't see why they have to go." " It's coercion." " It's not coercion." "It's the Yankees." "Trevor hates baseball." "Helen, is that what you're wearing?" "I thought we talked about this." "You need something that makes you look sober." "Just cancel." "I don't see why you keep letting him do this." "You don't even have to give visitation rights to that sex addict!" "He is their father, and I'm not exactly in the strongest bargaining position right now." "Well, let's see what Gottlief says today, but just because you had one brief lapse in judgment, one mildly embarrassing incident, doesn't mean that that derelict has to call all the shots, to barge in here whenever he wants to," "drag your children to the Bronx." "Mom, Martin says his stomach hurts again." "Oh, shit." "You're surprised?" "I'm coming, Stace." "He's been fine for five days." "He had enchiladas on Monday with no problem." "Nothing, but now that his father's showing up..." "Mom, can someone untie my shoe?" "Yes, sweetie, Grandma's got you, okay?" "Sit down, sweetie." "I'm fine." "I'm up." "Getting dressed." " Yeah, but Stacey just..." " I'm good!" "I told you." "Does your stomach hurt?" "Not really." "It was worse last night." "Martin." "Did it wake you up again?" "Look, maybe you should stay home." "Not an option." "Sorry." "Well, I don't think it's that smart." "If you don't feel well, maybe you just shouldn't go." "You think I shouldn't go, or Grandma's telling you not to let me?" "This has nothing to do with Grandma." "He doesn't need a damn specialist." "It's perfectly obvious what's wrong with him." "Margaret, I don't think..." "Your thoughts are of no concern." "What's happening is abundantly clear." "Let's just focus on Martin." "That's something I have been doing, more so than you!" "I don't understand why you're being so stubborn." "Talk to his doctor." "Talk to his therapist." "They both say the same thing." "Just tell the kids I'm here, will you?" "I'm gonna wait in the car." "The mind and the gut are connected!" "Can you please just help them get ready?" "The man is incapable of facing his own culpability..." "Please." "Honestly, I don't know how you stand it." "How long has she been here?" "Two months?" "She's having a rough time." " Where are the kids?" " They're coming." "You said they'd be ready by noon." "Yes, I did." "I don't know, maybe you've forgotten, they don't exactly run with military precision." "If you're not back by 7:01, should I call the police?" "I don't think the police would be such a good choice for you." "Oh, fuck off." "Martin is sick again." "His stomach woke him up last night." "I don't know..." "I..." "I don't know what to do." "I'll take him back to Dr. Jackie on Monday." "Jackie is a pediatrician." "He needs a specialist." " I keep telling you." " Hi, Daddy." " Hey." " Hey, Dad." "I'm taking him to see Max's gastro guy as soon as she can get him in." "You're not authorized to make any decisions about the children alone, Noah Solloway." "Oh, guess what, Margaret, you're not authorized to make any decisions at all." "Martin, you can tell your father you hate him." "It'll make you feel better." "Oh, God, Martin..." "I hate everyone." "Can we go now?" "Yes." "Why don't you go back inside?" "Okay?" "Listen, are you sure you're gonna be okay?" "He'll be fine." "They have bathrooms at Yankee Stadium, Mom." "All right." "Watch what he eats." " You got it." " And just call me if you..." "The only thing wrong with that boy is Noah fucking Solloway." "Wanna stop and get a drink on the way?" "It was a joke." "It's not funny." "What do you think is going to happen?" "Do you think you guys are going to get divorced?" "This meeting is not about us." "It's about you." "Anyway, he'll never divorce me." "He's too cheap." "So what do we think, Mom and Dad?" "Is she still grounded, or do we give her back her car keys?" "Just tell us what's what, Jon." "You say this Polk is a tough one?" "I'm saying that money is not gonna fix this situation." "What is he, some sort of monk?" "He's a judge." "And?" "What does that mean?" "Judges tend to be ethical people." "You've heard of ethics, haven't you, Bruce?" " Right and wrong?" " Okay, Margaret..." "Is she still taking her Lexapro?" "Bruce, will you please?" "We have about an hour." "Can we focus on Helen?" "Her situation?" "Right." "Let's." "Her situation." "I'm sorry, gumdrop." "We have a serious problem here?" "We have a moderately serious problem, yes." "Will it fuck her on custody?" "Well, it certainly will make this a harder case for us to win." "Before the accident, everything was leaning in our direction." "Now Noah can claim that he's just as competent." "The kids are gonna have to talk to a court-appointed forensic psychiatrist." "I know." "It sucks." "Leonard can do it." "I'm sorry, who's Leonard?" "Leonard Gillette." "He's Martin's psychiatrist." "He's one of the most highly regarded child psychiatrists in the city." "$300 an hour." "He knows Martin well already." "He can testify that his father causes him great distress, has literally made him sick." "But I don't want to put the kids through that." "All right, I've got it." "That stooge you were seeing, the one who gave you the candy?" " What's his name again?" " Max?" "We just get Max to admit he didn't tell Helen the thing was spiked." "He never told you?" "Of course he told her." "So it's still his fault, right?" "The guy's a drug addict, isn't he?" "He's not a drug addict." "He runs a hedge fund." "Even better, he's got a lot to lose." "We threaten to go to the cops if he doesn't do what we want." "Let's just rewind here." " Helen..." " Or else we pay him off." "Is it any wonder our daughter's married to such a sleaze bucket?" "Look who her father is." "The man thinks he can buy anything:" "reviews, verdicts, women." "I hope you don't mean Ina." "Of course I mean fucking Ina." "I didn't buy her, you bitch!" " I seduced her!" " Ha!" "I see the bills, the travel..." "I sought her out because I was miserable!" " The jewelry." "I talk to Ed!" " 'Cause my marriage was a sham!" "'Cause my wife has fucked me twice in the last decade..." " Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet!" " ...would she ever fuck you?" "Quiet!" "What did you say?" "Fuck." "Okay." "Martin's on his way to the emergency room." "What?" "Excuse me, I'm..." "I'm looking..." "Reception." "Shit." "Shit." "Shit." "Helen!" "Helen!" "Oh, my God." "Martin!" " Oh, shit!" " Excuse me." " Excuse me." " Thanks." "What happened, Martin?" " Okay." "Okay." " He's burning up." " I know." " Where are the kids?" "I left them with Miranda." "He was fine." "He was absolutely fine." "Then he just doubled over..." "All right, excuse me, Nurse?" "Please, I need someone to help..." "You need to check in with reception." " There's a line, ma'am." " Just go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Can you sit up, honey?" "Okay, there you go." "Can you tell me what happened?" "Oh, Martin, what happened?" "What's different from the last time?" "Can you tell..." "No..." "Noah?" " Oh, my God." " Oh, fuck." "Excuse me, my..." "my son needs help right now." " Get your hands off me." " Look!" " Call in security." " Sir?" "Doctor." "I'm sorry, my son is throwing up." "It's fucking green, and he's in real pain!" "Please." "What's wrong with him?" "What's wrong with him?" " Stop, no!" " Get me a gurney." "Here." "I'll take him." "It's okay." "It's okay." "You're okay." "Here we go." "Come on, guys." "Here we go." "Watch your hands, please." " Bay four." "Let's go." " Come on." "Excuse us." "Ow." "It's okay, sweetheart." " Stop!" " Shh." "Shh." "Okay." "This hasn't been the best day of your life, has it?" " I'm gonna puke again." " Okay." "If you've got to puke, go ahead." "Nurse Reagan's armed and ready." "Now tell me which is worse." " If I poke here..." " Ow." " Or here?" " Ow!" "Okay, I'm done." "I'm done poking you." " What is it?" "His appendix?" " Just one moment, Dad." "Sussman's coming down?" "Good." "The next room's ours." " Are you operating?" " What?" " Mom." " It's all right, honey." "They're gonna help you." "He seems very nice." "I try." "Listen, buddy, we know how to fix this, and I'm gonna walk you through everything." "Now first I'm gonna check in with your parents, and then we'll be right back." "Okay?" "Okay, did you hear him?" "He said they know how to fix it." " Okay?" " Mom, I'm scared." "Sweetheart, I love you very, very much." "Helen." "Come on." "Hang in there, okay?" "Hang in there." "It's looking like Martin has a perforated bowel." "Looking like?" "What does that mean?" "Let him finish." "I can feel a swollen abscess I'm going to clean out." "Now, there's a lot that could have caused this." "Once we get in there, we'll know more." " The symptoms started when?" " Two months ago." " Three months ago." " No, it hasn't been that long." "Yes, it's obvious if you were paying attention." "What about food?" "Is he eating?" " Not well." " He's lost some weight." "Uh, today." "Breakfast?" "Lunch?" "He's had two hot dogs and some popcorn." " Two hot dogs?" " We were at a ball game." "I asked you to watch what he was eating." " I was glad he was eating." " Folks, folks." "I know this is hard, but let's try to keep cool here." "I'd say the surgery should run about two hours, possibly longer if we run into..." "Doctor, there's a room available." "All right, let's prep him then." " Right now?" " Right now." "Okay, Martin, we're gonna put you to sleep for a bit, but when you wake up, you'll feel much better." "Mom, what's going on?" "I'm having surgery?" "Yeah, but it's gonna be fine." "I promise, honey." "I'm giving you some medicine to help you relax." " Dad?" " It's gonna be okay." " I'll come see you right after." " Thank you." "Okay, we're gonna go inside now." "You guys coming too?" "No, honey, we can't go in with you." "Tell you what, buddy." "Where do you want to go for vacation next?" " You get to decide." " Not Montauk." "No, definitely not Montauk." " Anywhere you want to go." " Hawaii?" " Yeah." " We'll learn to surf." "We can get a house on the beach." "Okay, say aloha, Mom and Dad." "See you soon." "Aloha." "Psychosomatic, huh?" "They told me it was two hours." "He's been in there for three..." "How many times have you called her?" "I left her two messages." " She's a nurse." " She's a waitress." "She's a pediatric nurse who might be able to tell us something, give us some fucking information since no one else will come talk to us." "If we'd listened to her in the first place, none of this would've happened." "What is that supposed to mean?" "She said bring him to the hospital that first day he was bad." "The day you lost your mind." "I did not lose my mind!" "I made a mistake!" "Instead you took him to a shrink because your mother said it was my fault..." "You know what, this isn't fair." "...I caused his problems, I made him sick." "This is not fair!" "Noah, it is not fair." " I mean, Helen, I know..." " Are you actually blaming me?" "I know you're angry with me, but the way you ate up all that crap she was spoon-feeding you when everyone else can see..." "You're the one that took him to the fucking baseball game" " and just fed him all of that..." " ...she's a raving lunatic?" "When are you gonna learn to think for yourself?" "You can stop now." "Martin's okay." "It went well." " Why don't you sit too?" " Yeah." "So we removed a length of Martin's bowel that was perforated and infected." "I'm guessing it's Crohn's disease." " And what is that?" " It's an autoimmune disease." "Autoimmune, um..." "It's like your mom." "Yeah, my mom had MS." "That makes sense." "The diseases are related." "They can show up in the same family." "Well, he's seen his doctor twice." "Crohn's is notoriously hard to diagnose." "It can look like all kinds of things." "So what now?" "Martin will stay here for ten days." "You'll meet with my colleague, and she'll talk you through everything." "The long and the short of it is, this is chronic but treatable." "Now, it's going to take coordination, a lot of attention from both of you, especially with an adolescent who doesn't like to take medication and misses French fries, but if you stay on him, work together," "Martin will lead a normal life." "Mm-hmm." "He'll be in room 730 in about 20 minutes." " I wish you the best of luck." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Sure." "You can call her back." "Thanks." "I'll try later." "I don't want to do this anymore." "I can't fight with you anymore." "It has to stop." "I hate this fucking divorce." "I just want it over." "I want to go back to mediation, and I'll give you whatever you want." "Helen, all I want is co-custody." "I know." "You should have that." "And you can have her too." "'Cause we have to do better." "I have..." "I have to do better." "And I will." "You're an excellent father." "Thank you." "So call her back." " Oh, it's okay." " No, really." "Please, I want you to." "Hey, sweetie." "Hey, buddy." "How you feel?" "You okay?" "Hey, honey, you awake?" "Who won the game?" "Baltimore." "You didn't miss anything." "How is he?" "He's okay." "He's gonna be okay." "Is he upstairs?" "No, he's still at the hospital." "Noah's with him." "Noah's with him?" "That's correct." "I need to go to sleep." "Jesus." "Helen, how could you be so stupid?" "Good night, Mom." "I knew I should've gone to the hospital with you." "Your father and I are going to great expense to prove that Noah is an unfit father." "Then you leave him alone with Martin voluntarily?" "What kind of message does that send to Judge Polk?" "We're in the middle of a custody battle, for God's sakes." "Actually, we're not anymore." "We're splitting custody." "We've agreed." "Helen, I can't let you do that." "I think you're making a terrible mistake, an irreversible, irresponsible..." "I don't fucking care what you think!" "My son almost died today because I listened to you!" " Oh, for God's sake." " Oh, yes!" "You kept insisting it was all in his head and made me feel like a pathetic, crazy..." "And the whole time it was so obvious he was very, very sick." "And I listened to you." "I always fucking listen to you, and you talk, and you talk, and you talk until your voice is the only thing in my head and I cannot even think straight." "You're right." "You're too tired to have this conversation." "Go to bed." "You wanted my marriage to fail." "What?" "You wanted my marriage to fail... because yours was a sham and you were jealous." "I loved him... so much." "I loved him... for who he was, and you convinced me that he wasn't enough, so I hope you're happy now that you've ruined everything... my marriage, my entire life." "I realize this has been a very difficult evening for you." "Yeah, I want you to leave." " What?" " I hate you." "I really do." "And I want you to get out of my house." "I said leave." "Your father's divorcing me." "He told me after you left." "I'm sorry to hear that." " Is Martin okay?" " Yeah." "Are you okay?" "Did you find anything during discovery?" "Look at you, getting all technical." "You've been reading up." "Well, he's the father of my children, Jon." "Yes, you're right." "Of course." "I got a lead recently from a guy who claims to have a piece of evidence that could blow this whole case wide open." "Who?" "You know I'm not allowed to talk about all the details of this case with you, Helen." "Well, what can you talk about?" "Was it a witness?" "Did he see it happen?" "No, he says he has something on the victim that we will want to see." "On Scott Lockhart?" "Why doesn't he just call the police?" "The police won't pay him." "But if they find his evidence, they can subpoena it and use it, right?" "Are you looking for a job here?" "How much does he want?" "100K." "I'll pay it." "Are you sure?" "A, and, B, are you sure you can?" "I'll sell the house." "I'll make it work." "You have to get him off no matter what." "I understand." "Thank you." "Is that it?" "That's it." "Mary, get me Oscar Hodges on the phone, please." "_" " Hi, Daddy." " Hey." "Did Mommy go to the hospital?" "Yeah, it was her turn." "What happened to the Bisquick?" "What?" "Oh, I don't know." " Can we watch TV?" " Sure." " Here." " All right." "All right, tape, please." "Hey, who drew that Yankees logo?" " I did." " What?" "It wasn't done by a professional?" "Can someone help me with this?" "Coming." "I found a gluten-free, sugar-free, vegan cake!" "I'd rather eat my own foot fungus." "Good thing it's not for you, stupid head." "It's for Martin, whose stomach is extra delicate." " He's gonna hate it." " Whoop." " Hey, Dad?" " Yeah, buddy?" "How about we get Martin a dog?" "I really think he would like it." "Did your mom say you could get a dog?" " She said she'd think about it." " Oh, she said no." "No, she said she'd think about it." "Can we look for a dog?" "Yeah, Stacey wants one too." "Oh, my God, they're here." "What should we do?" "Should we hide?" " Yeah, come on." "Hide." " Okay, go, go, go, go, go." "Go." "Oh!" "I'm back, suckers!" " Hi, Dad." " Surprise!" " Welcome home." " Thanks." " How are you?" "Okay?" " I'm good." " Hey." " Dude, dude, show me your scar." "You want me to take this off?" " Yeah!" " Okay, after we eat." " Whoa!" " Ugh." "Come see what we made!" "How was the release?" "Good, except for the thousands of dollars we have to dispute with the insurance company." "Oh." "Have you seen my meat?" "And the dragon says, "Oh, I don't see any meat."" "And the man goes, "That's 'cause it's in your belly!"" " The end." " Brilliant!" "Thank you." "Did you make any friends at the hospital?" "Yeah, I met some nice people." " Any girls?" " Maybe." " Wait, what?" " Ooh." " You did?" " You met a girl?" "Did she die?" "No." "If she died, it would've been a good story." "You know, like, years later, you could tell your grandchildren," ""I knew a girl once, but she died."" "You know?" "What?" "Come on, who wants more cake?" "Anybody?" "I think we should start winding things down, maybe, 'cause it's Sunday." "They have to do their homework." "Right." "Yeah, so can you show me, please?" " You said you would." " Not right now." "Okay." "This has been the best ten days ever." "Yeah, 'cause Martin hasn't been here." "You little bitch, you missed me so much." "Hey, just 'cause you almost died doesn't mean you get to call your little brother a bitch." "I think it does." "You guys are gonna see your dad again soon." " Friday, right?" " Yeah, that's right." "You finally get to see my new place in Crown Heights." " Not far, is it?" " Is it big?" "No, it's not big, but it's nice." " How many bedrooms?" " Two." "You and Stacey in one, me and the boys in the other." "Nope, pass." "Whitney, it's just for the weekend." "Nope, opt out, veto." "Thank you for playing." "You know what?" "Stay here." "I'll leave." "Helen, it'll be fine." "I know, but Marian's invited me to her house on Shelter Island this weekend, and I haven't spent any real time with her in years, so it's a perfect opportunity." "I'm going, so stay." " Thanks." " Mm-hmm." "Okay, bye." "♪ I want you to understand" "♪ I'm gonna be your man ♪" "♪ You make it easy" "♪ You make it easy" "♪ I like it here by myself" "♪ What I want with no one else ♪" "♪ You sometimes need me ♪" "♪ You make it easy" "♪ And I want you" "♪ And I need you" "♪ And you know it's true ♪" "♪ I can't see myself ♪" "♪ With no one else" "♪ Your curves bend with my hand ♪" "♪ The fallouts we comprehend" "♪ You sometimes need me" "♪ You make it easy" "♪ It's a sad turn ♪" "♪ To be on your own" "Alison?" "Noah." "Noah!" "Hey, what are..." "what are you doing here?" "I'm..." "I'm staying here." " With Alison?" " Yeah." "It's a wonderful opportunity for us to share energy." "We haven't been this attuned in years." "Maybe ever." " That's great." " Yeah." "How's your son?" "How are his humors?" "His humors?" "He's..." "Uh, he's... he's fine, Athena." "Thank you." "Where... where is she?" "Hey, stranger." "Wow, you look great." "Oh, that's so sweet." "Thank you." "Wait, I have to get my towel." "Oh, Noah, these are my friends," "Brendan and George." "Doc said as long as he takes his medicine, he should never have to go to the hospital again." " That's great." " It is." "It really is." "It was... it was touch and go for a second, you know?" "And I realized that, uh..." "I want to apologize for something." "He-he-he nearly died." "I mean, he almost died." "And, um... the whole time I was at the hospital," "I was thinking about you and what you went through." "And I don't think I ever quite appreciated that before." "I'm sorry about that." "Noah, don't apologize." "You've been wonderful." " Have I?" " Yes." "So, anyway, I got some good news." " Hmm?" " My divorce, it's done." "It's over." "And that means, uh, you and I..." "Can be together." "It's not an issue anymore." "Helen's agreed to stop litigating and give me co-custody, so..." "Hmm." "What a relief." "So we're still a couple then?" "What?" "Well, we just haven't seen each other in six weeks." "Alison, we... we couldn't." "The judge said..." "Right, I know, I just, uh..." "I hadn't heard from you for a while, and I thought you'd just kinda given up on us." " We talked all the time." " Yeah, I know." " I told you I love you." " I know." "I was trying to figure out a way for us to be together." "I read your book, Noah." "What do you mean?" "How?" "It was lying open on Yvonne's desk the day I left." "You... did you read the whole manuscript?" "No, just parts of it." " What parts?" " I'm "sex."" "I'm "the reason the word was invented."" ""No marriage could survive" me." "Is that all you read?" "No, I read some choice passages about my supple breasts, my perfect ass, my long tongue on your..." "So you... you only read the sex scenes." "Well, no, I read a few pages, but so far as I can tell, the whole thing is sex scenes." "That's not true." "I asked you not to read it because I wanted to explain it before." " I wanted you to be prepared." " For what?" "What you really think of me?" "It's fiction." "It's not you." "It's not me." "That's what I wanted to explain." "What?" "That character isn't based on me?" "Characters have a... they have a life of their own." "I'm sorry you felt bad about what you read, but you obviously didn't see the bigger picture." " Did you read the ending?" " No." "Well, maybe that's the place to start." "We end up together." "It's a happy ending." "Wasn't that the end that Harry wants you to change?" "Look, I'm the asshole in the book." "I destroy everyone I care about." "I-I ruin my life." "The story's not even about you." "It's about me." "Before you judge, will you please just read the whole book?" "No, I won't." " Why not?" " I just don't want to." "I don't think it would be a very good idea." "You know, um... you may be right about the sex." "About the sex?" "Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about it since I got here and, um..." "I can see why you think I'm... some kind of nymphomaniac." "I never said that." "No, you met me at a very strange time in my life, and I wasn't always..." "I used to be a very open kid, and since Gabriel died," "I just stopped talking to people." "I didn't see the point in it anymore." "They didn't understand, and, um... sex for me became a way of feeling things without having to talk to anybody." "And then I guess I... when I met you, I'd just gotten used to it." "Used to what?" "Well, using reckless behavior as a way of... feeling like I was still alive." "You know, Sebastian thinks that the cutting and the reckless sex, it all stems from the same impulse." "Who?" "Oh, uh, I'm sorry." "Sebastian." "He's a friend of mine up here." "He's an expert in reckless behavior?" "He is, actually." "He's incredibly brave." "Right." "But, Noah, I haven't had sex in, like, six weeks, and... my head just feels really clear." "Great." "Great." "That's really exciting." "Um, that's something you're gonna continue when we leave here?" "I got us that place you liked in Crown Heights." " The two-bedroom?" " Yeah, I leased it last month." "It's ready for you." "We can go now if you want." " Now?" " Yeah." "Why not?" "Get your stuff." "Let's get the fuck out of here." "No, I just can't pick up and leave." "I have a yoga teacher training class." " I work in the kitchen." " Wait..." "Living here was a temporary fix while I got things worked out for us." "Well, I like it here." "I'm learning a lot." "Why don't you stay here with me for a while?" "Oh, God." "The treatment I'm applying now to this patient is based on Wilhelm Reich's orgone therapy, which releases biological energy from chronically constricted muscles." "You can see, this therapy is already starting to release traumatic memories stored in the patient's body." "Very good." "We mustn't repress." "We must liberate." "Oh, fuck!" "And so our flaws are actually the source of our strength." "That focused meditation was so powerful." " Thank you for your gifts." " Oh, you're so welcome." "I felt my Level Two attune automatically." "I did too." "That was remarkable." "Noah!" "So you're... you're experiencing some writer's block?" "That must be frightening for you." "No, I'm... no, I'm trying to find a place to write, Athena." " It's different." " Oh." "I was under the impression you'd been having difficulty with your ending for a while now." "Don't worry about it." "It'll be fine." "I just need to get Alison and get the hell out of here." "Isn't it miraculous how balanced she's become since she's been here?" "She's moving in such harmony with the universe." "That must be such a relief for you." "Having only known her in a state of... such dysfunction." "Sure is." "I sense some sarcasm." "No offense, Athena..." "I just don't think any of this is real." "Nothing is real, Noah." "It's easy to feel at peace when you're just eating quinoa all day and sleeping 14 hours, but in the real world, I..." "I don't think you're doing her any favors keeping her here." "I see now." "Yes, it's suddenly so clear, so expected of course." "What?" "You fell in love with her darkness." "Now that she's stepping into the light, you feel like you're losing your hold on her." "My what?" "That speaks to your primal fear of abandonment." "You know what, Athena?" "Just shove it." "Okay?" "I-I... how the fuck do I get out of here?" " Fuck!" " Noah, this is good." "You're beginning to access your rage." "That's a vital step." "Why don't you come in for a session?" "I've had great success with writers and artists using Reiki." " Oh, fuck that." " I would be happy to work with you, as my gift, to unlock the flow of your creative energy." "In Afghanistan?" "Yeah, I was there before 9/11." "I was with the Northern Alliance, and they'd just taken this hilltop position..." " Hey, Alison." " Oh, hey." "Oh, I'm glad you're here." "Uh, I wanted you guys to meet." "This is Sebastian." "This is Noah, uh, my friend." "And, um..." "Noah, this is Sebastian." "S-Sebastian Junger?" "Nice to meet you, Noah." "Perfect Storm, I read it in 48 hours, and War was incredible." "Thank you." "I'm glad you like my work." "This is the last place I'd expect to find you." "I'm here all the time." "As much as I can be." "Did you get any work done this afternoon?" "No, no." "I-I can't find anywhere to concentrate." "Is there anywhere here you can write?" "I can write pretty much anywhere." "Right, well, of course you can." "Sounds like you're kinda blocked." "You know what helps me?" "Reiki." "We're gonna work on your chakras, where the channels of energy which run through your subtle body meet." "Is this something you have to believe in for it to work?" "Quite the opposite." "The treatment itself will guide you toward belief." " Good, 'cause I don't think..." " Shh." "Ah." "Hmm." "This is your root chakra." "It governs sexuality, sensuality, as well as stability." "As you can see for yourself, there's a creative blockage." "Your Kundalini, your primal energy, has become trapped between your pull toward darkness and your need to seek stability in life." "We need to release your Kundalini from this limbo." "Liberate it to flow upward towards your place of consciousness." "Please turn onto your stomach." "Go on." "Good." "Good." "You are drawn to the darkness in others, but at the same time, you fear it." "You're afraid it will consume you, will obliterate your carefully crafted image, it will expose you as a fraud, but, Noah, until you let yourself experience your baser desire, you will never be able to hear your true voice." "Let the darkness in." "Let the darkness in." "Let your root energy flow through you." "When it meets your place of true insight, you will experience a moment of consciousness free from all illusion." "The self will fall away, and, at last, you will see everything." "Let the darkness in." "Exhale." "Press your hands down." "Alison." " Can we talk?" " Exhale." "Outside." "Can we talk now?" " Please." "Come on." " Noah." "What's wrong with you?" "What is wrong with you?" "I spent the last six weeks doing everything I promised so that we could be together, which is what I thought you wanted too." " Do you want that?" " Yes, of course I do." "Well, then stop flaking out at this stupid summer camp," " and let's get out of here." " I have commitments." "Really?" "Like your commitment to Sebastian Junger?" "How the fuck did you get so close to him anyway?" "Oh, for God's sakes, Noah." "I blew up my life for you, Alison, and now here I am, wanting to leave with you, and you can't leave because you got a fucking yoga class?" "Look, I am just as committed to this relationship as you are, Noah!" "I don't belong to you." "We're not living in your book." "You can't control me." "No?" "I'm pregnant." "It's done."