"Well, miss, let's restart from the sixth chapter from "White Back of Elephants, Like Snow White Hills. "" "I opened my eyes." "Full stop." "Dorothy entered the tent and came towards me." "Unhooking her bra, she crouched next to me." "I kissed her on the mouth and I heard... .. the camp bed tremble under our weight." "Oh!" "It was a long, painful kiss." "A sour, wild beast taste lingered on my palate." " What's there to eat today?" " Turtle soup." "Always the same old soup!" "Right then, we felt the earth shivering... .. from the elephants' charge." "Aah!" "I screamed." "Ah." "Erase that, miss." ""Ah", screamed Dorothy." ""Go. " It doesn't work!" "I grabbed the 106 Belgian carbine with 38 rounds." "And I waited for the animals to come." "THE EMPLOYEE" "The wind brought their smell home to me." "A smell I... .. knew very well as I have often felt it at the Zoo." "Erase that, miss." "Trembling, Dorothy clung to me." "I had to take aim, or a kiss from her." "I went for the kiss." "Lhhh!" "Man, that's cold!" "It wasn't Toto, it was a woman." "And she was jealous on Dorothy." "All women love me and I love them!" "Full stop." "Caress me, o, California sun!" "Like the sea caresses me!" "Story and Screenplay:" "Elio Petri, T. Chiaretti, Nino Manfredi, Gianni Puccini" "Art Director Carlo Egidi" "Editing:" "Nino Baragli" "Director of Photography:" "Carlo Di Palma" "Music:" "Piero Piccioni" "Directed by:" "Gianni Puccini" " Good day, chief!" " Master." "For the servants." "It shapes me up, I haven't slept for three days." "Harder!" "That's it!" "Ah!" "I've worked till dawn, but I can't answer everyone." " That's the letters I couldn't do." " That's what I pay you for, isn't it?" " I know!" " Half a mil' a month's not enough?" " What can I do?" " You want a raise?" " No!" "Don't shout!" "You're too successful!" "Take another secretary!" "Give me something else to do." " Hollywood calling, sir." " You take it!" "No, my liver's a mess!" "Ouch!" "Hi, Selzenik!" "I loathe your movies!" "Yes." "You ruined my novel "The Moon Is Dying Tonight"." "You've set it in the Spanish civil war... .. and moved it to the Eskimos!" "Yes." "from now on it's up to my lawyer!" "Careful." "Nothing we can do." "Come again?" "What!" "?" "If you come here, I'll shoot you." "Metro Goldwin, did you hear the news?" "I hate money!" "Ah, so, I'll have to sue this gentleman for at least half a billion... .. in artistic damages..." "Miss, write down half a billion!" "Nando, you've made it big!" "Lucky you!" " Can you give me 1,000 lire?" " You don't know us anymore, do you?" " We're your colleagues." " Come back to the office." "Chase them away!" "Away!" "Away!" "Run!" "The dogs!" "The dogs!" "One can't create in the middle of people who only fight for... .. for making ends meet, who don't get any satisfaction... .. from their job and only look forward for their payday and you..." "You don't protect me from the aggressions of these beggars... .. you leave me alone!" "Me, who feed you all." "All of you!" "Lowlifes!" "Miss, erase this." "Brr!" "It's getting cold." "Everyone wants money, money, money!" "They think I'm Mother Teresa?" "!" "In this very moment an exciting creature shows herself to me, glittering sea behind her." "Who might she be?" "Hmm!" "I'm so curious!" "As a token of will, I'll make myself ignore her." "Full stop!" "And coma." "Miss, take a holiday." "Don't you want to know who I am?" "Why I came to you... .. and how many men I loved?" " A woman's past... .. is of no interest to me, only the present matters!" "Mister Guida, I'm a big fan of yours!" "You know, I've read your novels in American?" "Doesn't surprise me." "You're the only man who can save me," " with your huge experience." " Calm down!" "Such ardour!" "Oh, I beg you, help me!" "Very well, I'm listening." "Come with me!" "Please, after you." " My name's Joan." " Yes." " I was a dancer in a nightclub in Las Vegas." "Then, Mc Nelly fell in love with me and killed the manager." "And how come this Mc Nelly behaved in such a... .. totally disrespectful manner with a manager?" "Because he wouldn't tell him where I had hidden!" "Then, he lined up the entire staff of the nightclub." "He killed two dancers, a waiter, the drummer." "But then the trombone played." "And I took refuge here, with you." "Alright, but, then, this Mc Nelly knows you've come here?" "I don't want to marry Mc Nelly, I want to marry you!" "Think about it!" "It looks like this Mc Nelly can assure you... .. a much better protection than I can." "Eh!" "But I'm in love with you!" "I understand that, but I wouldn't like Mr. Mc Nelly..." " .. to be bothered!" " Don't be afraid!" " Let's not think about him." "Kiss me!" " Now, that is my pleasure." "Call me Giovanna." "A sticker for formalities..." " Are you afraid?" " I have to leave!" "Go where!" "?" "It's half past seven." "I don't know, but every morning, at this hour, from eight to two... .. an invincible force grabs me, dominates me and hauls me!" " What's this force?" " I don't know, but I have to go," " or they'll fine me." " We cold have been together!" "I get off at two." "Wait for me!" "Don't leave!" " Wait for me!" " I'll wait for you!" "Get up!" " No!" " Wake up!" "No!" " I get off at two..." " Nando." " I get off at two." " Wake up, it's late." "Don't you leave!" "Nando!" "Wake up!" " I get off at two!" " If you don't get on... .. at eight, how will you get off at two!" "?" "Come on!" "Every morning is like you're born again." "Romoletto, lucky you, you can sleep as much as you want." ""Jack L. Brown Death In Las Vegas"" ""Call me Giovanna. "" "If Mc Nelly knew she came to me..." "Romoletto?" "You wouldn't be one of Mc Nelly's spies, would you?" "It's eight!" "Francesco's already come and he left." "Eight!" "?" "Couldn't you have waken me sooner?" "With the way things are at the office..." "If I'm late..." " Good morning, Nando." " Hi, Nando." "The usual neo-realist scene." "Already here, you two?" " Who's taking us to school?" " Will you hurry, 'cause daddy's waiting at the newsstand?" "Before taking you to the nursemaid, doesn't he ever think to feed you at home, does he?" " Says you have more money than we have." " He's already spent his..." " bonus." " Of course!" " There's a stain on the shoulder." " It's not yours," " it's Francesco's." " That's what you say!" "Will you take us also to the theater tonight?" "You aren't grown up enough for Shakespeare." "There must be some nude girls..." "Towel!" "Here it is!" " I'll wash tonight." " Alright." " Tie!" "Tie!" " Here it is." " Coat!" "Coat!" " Here it is!" "You're going in pajamas!" "?" " Is it the first time" " What a shame if they find out!" "300 lire." " What for?" " Will you hurry?" "300 lire." "Such a spendthrift!" "He must have found some hussy!" "It's not for me!" "Francesco might need it." ""It's the money leaking through thousands streamlets. "" " That's bad!" " Let's go!" " 30 lire, dottore!" " Ah, 30 lire." " Have you got any change?" " Sure!" "You never change those 500 lire." " My change." " There's also the comics." "Oh, yes, for the boys!" "I'll give it back to you later." "Let's make it a round sum:" "when we get to one million, will you give it back to me?" ""Capital insertion in 'Beni Immobili'... .. for the building of the Milton hotel will lead to... .. changes in the internal structure of the company"." "They're firing us!" ""The arrival of renowned Northern specialists is expected"." ""Technical-administrative changes"." "It's an earthquake!" "In the worst case scenario it means they'll turn us into errand boys..." " .. for the Milton hotel!" " The bus." "Have you heard?" "It seems there're functionaries coming from Milan." "This is the end of the world!" "Revolution at "Beni Immobili"." "The Milton hotel scandal!" "Poor Rome!" "It'll have to work." "We've ended up in the newspaper!" "My God save us!" "No, may God save the king!" "Home, son!" "There's something big happening here!" "In Rome, we respect history." "Are they putting down the Coliseum to build a hotel!" "?" "You might have been more comfortable, had you bought a wrist watch!" "They've fired the old time recorder." "That's better!" "We won't punch in!" " We will, we will!" " Why have they changed it?" "Orders from above." "A specialist came from Milan." " Even that!" " Com'on, kids, it'll be nine when I get to punch in." " Can I have the time card?" " What's up, you, in time?" "!" "Well, my daughter woke me up early." "Alright, you punch in, but you owe me one." "8:22, maybe I'm still in time." "If you're busy, don't worry, I'll take care of your window." "No, I'm feeling some slight symptoms." "Gentlemen, il cavalier Zuppi feels some slight symptoms." "No need to worry!" "The newspapers always exaggerate." "The day has duly begun!" " Ahh!" " What's the matter?" " A cavity." "The main thing is that the stomach's working so you can eat." " Sure, that's how you get a heart attack!" " At least that's terse." "Tac!" "Anyone with a wooden leg?" " It's 8:30!" " And 28'!" "There's only one disease that kills:" "work." "It's a shame!" "Every morning the same thing!" "Have we gone mad!" "?" " I was first!" " We'll be here till dark anyway." "Calm down!" "Calm down!" "What do you mean calm down?" "It's half an hour I've been waiting!" "You were wrong coming early, you could have come... .. at 8:30 sharp." "I work the mornings, you know!" "Well?" "Between us now..." "The evictee's come again." "Give him once for all this damn house!" "Think at yours, they'll be soon taking it away." "Nothing!" "I'm sorry, nothing yet!" " Will you listen to me?" " Just a moment!" "Dottore, again?" " What's the matter with him?" " He's got hay fever." " Now he'll wet everyone." " Let's go." "Uff..." "So." " It's nothing, false alarm." " Ah, that's better." "I have to pay the rent." "Rent, rent..." "Window number 3." " Allow me." " Watch your feet, madam." "May I?" "May I?" "Please, please." "I have to pay the rent." "I'm sorry." "Rent window 5." " Allow me!" "I'm sorry!" " Madam, are you dancing, or what?" "Bon appetite." "Allow me!" "Are you all identical!" "?" "My colleague had the bad luck of getting sick, I'm filling in for him." " What month?" " July and August." "Arrear rent, the next storey." "Couldn't you have told me that right away?" " Do I have a crystal ball, a turban?" " Uffa." "Won't you send someone here!" "?" "What d'you want from me?" "Wanna come and leave at my place?" "When you'll feel like it, I also want to pay the rent." " What month?" " The next three." "I'll have to leave, so I'd like to pay in advance." "Francesco!" "Allow my colleagues also to see you... .. you are a rare case." " I'm afraid you'll have to postpone it." " You must be kidding." "The Institute of Real Estate, established in 1765... .. allows moratoriums, penalties, evictions, injunctions." "It allows everything, with the exception of advance payments." " Listen, I don't have time to lose!" " I do." "Want a deal?" "Call the manager!" "What's the matter?" "Are you the manager?" "Listen, in this office... .. all one can do is lose time!" "My dear sir, one never loses time in an office, on the contrary... .. one uses it to one's own advantage." "Have a good day." "All you care about is your damn hotel." "This won't stop here!" "I'll write to the newspapers!" " Calm down." " Corrupt capital city, infected nation." "Hope to see you again, my dear sir." " Good morning, sir!" " Good morning." " Sir, have you read this?" " Have you seen it?" "Oh yes, bad news, unfortunately." "Milan is seriously endangering your beloved sloth." "Big changes and I really don't what their intentions are." " Are you saying they're throwing us out?" " No, no, let's hope not." "But, expect the worse." "Still, gentlemen, an inspector is coming from Milan!" " An inspector?" "!" " Dottor Jacobetti." " A specialist in human relations." " Specialist in what?" " Human relations." " Bullshit!" "They say our systems are aged and dusty." "And maybe they're not wrong!" " Who can this dottor Jacobetti be?" " Who can he be?" "Must be some retired police officer." " Or some old fruit resting out." " Swell prospect!" "It's these guys that get such tasks." "Cavalier Zuppi, won't you like going to the theater tonight?" "With this cold, I'm afraid I'll disturb the play." "With pleasure!" "If I can do you a favour." "I paid 1,500 lire for it." "I want the money." "Oh, no, I'm sorry, I thought you were giving it to me, as a token of friendship." "I'll give it to you for 1,000 lire, alright?" " I can pay for it in installments." " That's a good idea!" "Why don't we draw some 50 lire IOYs?" "Excuse me, please!" "For confirmation that I am much more than my out-wall... .. open this purse, and take What it contains..." "Lightning... a lot of lightning..." "Lightn show her this ring;" "And she will tell you who your fellow is" "That yet you do not know." " "Fie on this storm!"" " Fie on this storm!" "The hand, the hand!" "Give him the hand!" "He wants the hand!" " Give me your hand:" " Bravo!" "That's the way to do it." " have you no more to say?" " "Few words. "" " Few words." "After this line, Cervi comes in looking like Father Christmas." "That when we have found the king, in which your pain" "That way, I'll this,-he that first lights on him, Holla the other." " Agreed we are!" " Thus shall be done!" "Nice!" "But couldn't they give you tickets to the cinema?" "Blow winds!" "Till you have drench's our steeples, drown'd the cocks!" "You sulphurous and... thought-executing fires, Vaunt-couriers... .. to oak-cleaving thunderbolts, Singe my white head!" "Oh God!" "I'm so sorry, miss, but it was inevitable." "I shouldn't have come!" "Look, they've left the door open and with the wind and all... .. they're making down there for the tempest, there's a draft... .. and the pollen from your may-lily hit me right on." "If you are so delicate, you could have stayed at home!" "Probably a Gassman fan." " Ssst..." "Silence!" " Enough!" "Show some respect!" "Excuse me!" "The umbrella, please!" "Ah, it's you!" "I'd like to apologize for what happened a little while ago." "I've exaggerated!" "But I like silence when I go to the theater." "Unfortunately, people coming to the theater have a tendency of moving seats." "Cough and, sometimes, even sneeze." "After all the German say:" "Big sneeze, great health." "Even the old Romans, when they're meeting, they greeted each other... .. with a sneeze." "As a matter of fact, when one didn't sneeze, the other said: "He doesn't... .. sneeze me anymore, what did I do him wrong?"" "Who knows how many friends you must have had!" "Me, this season, I've greeted everyone." "I've got the hay cold!" "Not cold, hay fever." " Oh yes?" " It affects the nervous, the very sensitive and the artists." "Better like this!" "Nando, shall we go?" "I'm hungry!" "Please." "I'm even sleepy!" "It's very late." "Good night and thank you!" "Good night!" "Francesco." "We don't get it, do we?" "Why is she leaving?" "We could've spent the evening together." "Could have gone at the Grand Hotel roof garden." "I have my own private band" "Six players from California." "Please." "Champagne, caviar." " Don't you like caviar?" " Caviar, we'll lose the tram." " Well, what about that cutlet?" " Here it is!" "Give Francesco half of it, I didn't know he was coming." "No, no." "Why, don't you have anything at all at your house?" " No, no." " Ah, you don't have." " What day is today?" " Friday." "Already Friday?" "Then we're in fasting!" " No, I'm sorry, it's Thursday today." " Eh no, it's past midnight." " It's Friday." " Alright!" "I'll give you a morsel." " No, thank you!" "I want to respect it." " Alright!" "Give him the cutlet, and you'll eat the omelet from this morning." "You like stale food anyway." "No, give it to him!" "It's him who wants to respect it." "No, you know, really no!" "It makes me sick." "I'd rather not have anything!" "Such a fuss for a cutlet!" "Eh!" " Isn't there an orange?" " No, there's no orange!" "Here's the cutlet!" "You've done it." " You haven't lost anything." "It's tough." " Shut up, at least!" "Lucky you, you like stale food!" "No, let's set things straight:" "I eat stale food... .. only if I'm forced to." "Got it?" "And who's ever forced you?" "You were so very kind, always at my home." "One of these days I'll take you all to the restaurant." " Sure, and when will we eat?" " Is it my fault if... .. I've been left all alone?" "If poor Anita was still alive." "No, you drove Anita to her death by forcing her to... .. eat your stale food!" "And now you're trying it with me!" "No, in my house there's no stale food." "Sure, with he hunger you're showing!" "Here's Aga Khan talking!" "Who took the key from here?" "What do I know, you hide it all the time!" " What's he bagging?" " The cheese." "He locks it!" "The cheese?" "Damn, how distrustful!" " Who opened here?" " I don't know." " Ah, you don't know?" " No." "But then, how did Romoletto get inside?" " Ask him!" " Did he open all by himself?" "From now on I'll take the key with me at the office." "Well thought; when I'll need a plate, I'll come at the office." "What' this stench?" "It's gorgonzola." "Should I be going out on the terrace to eat?" "Let me smell it." "Let's pray you don't like it..." " Hey, it's good?" " Good?" "Maybe a little on the strong side." "Well, now there's no more stale." "I can go to sleep!" " Have nice dreams!" " I should!" " I had such a light supper!" " Such a fuss!" "Francesco." "Eh?" "Lh!" "I made this roll for you." " That's good!" " Here're some sweets I made." " You did?" " Take it to the kids." "Romoletto." "Do you think I let her go?" "I took her to the Eiffel Tower terrace... .. and we had dinner together." "She didn't like the caviar." "Had I known, I'd have taken her to Moscow!" "And then, you know, I'm picky when it comes to caviar." "So, I ordered her swallow's nest." "I spent 37,000 francs." "Too much?" "But, you know, when you're with a woman abroad, there's not the time... .. to be penny-pinching, don't you think so?" "Oh!" "You don't look interested!" "You also want to get straight to the point" "You're looking at me?" "Nothing." "I didn't do anything because, I think... .. she wasn't a sinner." "I consume the sin with Joan..." "What a woman, this Joan!" "D'you want to hear?" " Good night!" " High time!" " Francesco." " Ssstt!" " Where're you going?" "Did you hear what he said?" "He's figured everything out." " You're too impulsive!" " But, sooner or later, he'll have to know" "My darling, my dearest darling." "We must allow things to grow!" "Francesco, you still think at Anita!" "Anita!" "Of course I still think at Anita!" "Is this also a problem, is it?" "She's been dead for four years." "Let's at least save appearances!" "You only save appearances when it suits you!" "Francesco." "It's raining." "Have you got an umbrella?" "Wait for the rain to stop." ""Mc Nelly came in and took the gun out of the holster. "" "Ah, this Mc Nelly, always shooting!" "Already fallen asleep?" "Have nice dreams, Romoletto!" ""LONG LIVE OUR SON" How long have you been dead?" "I for ten years, he for nine." "No, please, I for eight and a half and she for twelve." " Even dead you're reducing your age!" "?" " Alright!" "How come you came?" "Would you expect a mother and a father to be absent..." " .. from their male child's wedding?" " Do you approve his choice" "We'd have liked him marrying a country girl, as country women are more careful with their money." "Are you happy that your son is a great, famous writer?" "Well, we'd have preferred him being a clerical worker." "The clerical worker gets his fixed salary and the bonus salary." "And he gets off at two." "Long live the newlyweds!" " All the best!" " Thank you!" "Thank you!" "A few words!" "Write that I'm happy because I'm no longer alone." " Done." " Thank you very much!" " Little mother." " Let me kiss the bride." "I'm happy you've come." "You look great both of you." "Thank you, father!" "Nando Guida." "You've married my woman and you haven't invited me?" "It was a forgetfulness." "I want to be more amiable than you!" "I've brought my floral homage." "It's this modest gift in which you'll be able to spend... .. your wedding night" "You're very kind, but you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble." "And now, it's the two of us!" "My enemies, I grill them on a slow fire." "Hat!" "Mc Nelly, I'm not armed!" "Better!" "Nando, catch this!" "You'll be using that coffin, Mc Nelly!" "He has always liked playing war games." "I dislike that red carnation on your corpse to be." "It's going away now." "And now, to the heart." " Who shot?" " I, why?" "You can't shoot here, it's a silence zone." "Show me your papers!" "My marriage certificate with this doll." "And here is mine!" "Good morning!" "From these it results you have both married the same woman." " Yes!" " The lady is under arrest for bigamy." "Don't worry!" "The felony will die out... .. with the death of the superfluous husband." "Die out or pay up?" "We pay up." "How much is it?" "1,000 lire for you and $1 and 3 cents for you." "No, die out and right now!" "What're you doing!" "?" "Here we're in Ciociaria and we do the Italian duel." "Here we are!" "Back to back." "Won't he be hurt?" "Careful, no fake steps." "The enemy is on your back." "Ready, go!" ""Your kiss is like a rock. "" " Correct!" " One-nil." " One point for mister Guida." " One point for mister Guida!" "?" "He wins!" "?" "You asked for it." "One all!" "Two-one." "Three-one!" "Ten-one!" "My guns know of no rules." "That's how we duel in America." "Go for the gas tank!" "Michigan unit, on the ground!" "Give yourselves up, Sun Of Smoke and White Feather!" " Aranda Coyota." "A fangala." " Take cover!" "The ammunitions!" "The ammunitions!" "Banzai Mikado!" "Silence that spitfire!" "No!" "Not germ warfare!" "The sneeze is an illegal weapon!" "I appeal to the Geneva Convention." "The wedding ring!" "Romoletto." "Joan has got me." "Now I'm forced to dream of her my whole life!" "Alright!" "I can always get a divorce, as long as it's a divorce!" "Eh?" "I'll take her to Mexico." "Little do you care." "Lucky you for being dumb!" "Half past seven already!" "This Mc Nelly isn't a no-name, I killed him with a sneeze!" "Nando, Francesco's already here." "Come on, hurry up!" "What a life devoid of fantasy!" ""LITTLE SAVINGS' VILLAGE THE NEW CLERICAL CLASS RESIDENTIAL DISTRICT"" "That in the middle must be the guards' observation tower." "From where does one escape in here?" "With the loan, in thirty years, you have your own house!" "At ninety, you'll own the entrance." "Your son buys the kitchen." "And at the 2.000 Olympics, he'll rent it out to a Martian." "That's not how you remake Italy." "There's a bomb exploding here!" " I'm sorry, miss!" " Good morning!" "I have the pleasure of introducing you to dottor Jacobetti." "Lhh." "Jacobetti?" "He about whom..." "I mean her about whom, I've already talked to you about." "Would you like me to introduce you to all our employees?" "Some of them I've already met!" "Yes, it's true, yesterday evening at the theater." "I know them from their personal files!" " A match!" " Oh, here it is!" " Here it is!" " I don't smoke." "They're good men!" "We'll see if the thrushes will be able to hang on to the branch." "It's this wall, guys, and then that one." " Mister architect?" " Yes?" " Everything goes be taken off inhere!" " Even the naked women?" "Especially the naked women!" "They're superfluous and detrimental." "You're knocking on an open door!" "But they keep us company." "But if they upset the architect, we can clothe them." "The thing's easily solved:" "we can hide them out." "A lower fake ceiling." "A pastel shade." "I'd say, beige." "The Americans have studied the use of colours..." " .. in offices." " They have!" "?" "Red's not advised because it produces excitement." "On bulls!" "Even on men!" "For the hall, I'd go with yellow or orange." " A warm colour." " I'd go with an winter orange..." " .. and a summer blue." " A stripped one." " That's it." " And you are?" " I?" " Oh him." " Francesco." " Somma!" " Somma Francesco." "Two, she gave you a two." "You'll have to try again in October." "Couldn't we go on with this discussion without the chorus?" " By all means!" " My pleasure." "Could you please go into my office?" "All of you!" "This is my project." "If they've set up a cinema, there's already an improvement." " A little silence, please." " Be silent, or she'll get mad." "You must have certainly noticed a new time recorder." "It's a time recorder with photoelectric cells... .. in usage since 1958 at the Dupont factory in Detroit." "It's been named:" ""My Conscience"." " What does that mean, if I may?" " My conscience." "Thank you very much, you're very kind!" "This time recorder produced, only in Detroit, in one year, around 150,000 $." "That's worthwhile, I'd like to order twelve!" " In fines." " Ah." "That's equal to 93,750,003 lire." "Please, let's start." "So." ""08:21, Mr. Zuppi. "" "Il cavaliere was in time." ""08:21, Mr. Somma. "" "Like always." ""08:23, Mr. Guida. "" ""08:23, Mr. Macchia. "" "Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake." "This is Mr. Guida yet again." ""08:23, Mr... .. Vespilloni. "" "What am I talking about!" "?" "This is again Mr. Guida upside down." "Here comes the storm!" "We've all recognized him, haven't we?" "Lights." "Mr. Guida, do you have twins?" "No." "Then it's obvious you were punching for four." "I also hope you're also working for four!" "You've all noticed Mr. Guida's sneaking look." "He was obviously aware of not accomplishing a loyal act toward this office." "And all this mise-en-scene, do you find it loyal?" "Where did you import this method from?" "Sing Sing?" "Some individuals could do with the order and discipline..." " .. in Sing Sing." " If I may." "My mission is to change not only the... .. ambiance, but, also, the mentality!" " Enough for today." " It's high time something changed." "They've fired me!" "With best wishes, but they did fire me..." " What've you said?" " Read it, read it, you've got one too." ""Dear Mr. Guida, we're addressing to you well aware... .. of your intelligent activity contribution you have bestowed... .. on our office. "" "They're complimenting me, guys" "Go on, just get to the best wishes." ""You can consider yourself free. "" "Please, let me through." "Italian offices are just like the Spanish ones." "We're in Rome, the capital!" "And they say nothing about a settlement!" " They haven't dared with me." " Here's your letter." "I don't even want to read it." "If they insult the brave ones, like in '19" " Good morning." " Good morning." " Have you all received the letter?" " Yes." "You surely have understood it's only a formality." "What d'you mean a formality?" "Fired!" "Appearances are saved!" "There'll be a selection, of course." "However, it depends on you." "Those who will conform, will be rehired." "Com'on, don't pull those faces" "Poverty is the reward of idleness." "A woman can beat the devil." "A clerk's posture is correct when there's, letting the arms... .. fall naturally in the axis of the forearm, an incline toward the rear of 15 degrees measured against... .. the horizontal plane made by the elbows." "It looks like Francesco eating see from above." "Here we have the left arm's working area." "And here the right arm's working area." "The work must be efficiently split between the two hands." "Up to now it looks like an exceptional discovery." "No, Mr. Guida, but there's someone who works with his feet." "Ah, she's picking on you." "Seeing that you're so interested in this issue," " would you come here, at the desk?" " By all means!" " It's like going back to school." " Yes." "In a way, it is." "But we've only just begun." "Show us!" " Yes?" " Assume the posture in the image." " Yes, yes." " Very good!" " Now, you have to find someone to work.." " .. in my place." " That's for the... .. institute to take care of, if need be to replace you." " Yes, yes, yes." " And let me show you the picture... .. of the perfect clerk:" "A sincere face, smiling, decently clothed." "How elegant you look!" " Bravo!" " Come on, just passing on Via Condotti" "Good morning!" "Good!" "Good!" "A sincere face, smiling, decently clothed." "You should forget the old image of the clerical worker, wearing elbow-sleeves." "No more shabby shirts, no more nail biting." "You must free yourselves from all your tics!" "I, I have this conquered this tic in Greece." "Smiling, optimist." "Have they raised my pay?" "What happened?" "One can't recognize this office anymore!" "Come in, don't be afraid!" "Take your working tools and familiarize yourself with the new look." "And the naked women?" "They've hidden them, they're superfluous." "It's mine!" "Good morning, my darlings!" "The superfluous is always detrimental!" "But these are lethal." " Good morning!" " Good morning, commander!" " I'm happy to see you're at ease." " Thank you!" "If you want, I'll also provide an abacus!" "Excuse me, dottore!" "I've foraged in the archive for a couple of letters written by you... .. on the most delicate subject we deal with." " The eviction intimation!" " That's true!" "They're written in the dry style of the old bureaucracy." "From now on no more "dear sir", "yours sincerely"." "We're talking about a painful duty!" "Let's address ourselves with politeness," "I'd even say almost with affection to our unhappy client." "And so giving him the impression his case is one of particular interest to us." "Shall we try that?" "Please." "Excuse me, but an eviction letter, still is an eviction letter." "It's not an invite to a ball that one..." "What can the sheep say when the pasture is mowed?" "Oh, I see." "What's the sheep, the mowed pasture got to do with it!" "?" "She talks Turkish." "I don't understand her." " Dear friend, how are you?" " Friend!" "?" "I don't even know him!" "Simple or polite form?" "For me, the simple form is a bandit." "Only the polite one." ""How are you?"" "I've noticed you haven't paid "Beni Immobili" the rent for 3 months." ""Immobili"." "Tell me the truth: you don't like the house and you want out of it." "D'you know what I tell you?" "You're right!" "And, as the Christmas celebrations are nearing," "I'm making you a gift and am sending you this the nicest, most affectionate... .. intimation of eviction that in four and four eight... .. will throw you on the streets to do the nativity scene with your family!" "Here it is!" "Solved!" "All the best and have a nice freezing!" "What do you say?" "How should I sign it?" ""Somma Francesco" or "Yours Franceschino"?" ""Yours Franceschino" is better, isn't it?" "Let's all sign it, this way he'll feel less lonely... .. and he has the impression he receives a postcard from Palma di Maiorca." "Big brains!" "Nice life, isn't it?" "What's the sense of coats, if you only use... .. the bottom of your trousers?" " What's the matter?" " These are also done for." "Look at it!" "Well, they surely are worn out!" "I can see you clearly." "Imagine what the others see of me!" "Give it to me, I'll make them an invisible bottom." "The usual patch!" "You've let the windows open with the lights on." "And the mosquitoes have come in." "Who knows where it hid now?" "You like me, eh?" "What would I do to mosquitoes!" "It even made me dirty the wall!" "Here, solved." "Playing hard to get with me." "I'm ciociaro." "I must remember to clean the ceiling." "Lisetta is capable to say I walked on it with dirty shoes." "But with one foot only?" "It's not logical!" "Don't you think so, Romoletto?" "Eh!" "Tomorrow I'll bring a 38 bullets carbine." "The one for elephants." " Darling, the plane is here, we can leave" " I'm ready." "Let's go, my love!" "I've served him faithfully for 20 years, I'm his shadow." " This is the master's last work." " He won't be writing anymore?" "No, because the Las Vegas blonde kind of dumbed him." "Gentlemen, I don't have much time!" "I have to board my personal jet, among other things..." " .." "I'm still on my honeymoon." " Don't move!" "Like that!" "Please, Joan, let them see you!" "Francesco, look here!" "May you have a stroke!" "What is the first destination on your trip?" "My Kilimangiaro villa, of course." "Why are you going to Africa, Mr. Guida?" "Mr. Philip Jackson, my guide, has phoned me... .. that tomorrow morning at three there'll be a group... .. of old elephants going to die in their graveyard." "I couldn't miss this ceremony." " And then, where will you go, Mr. Guida?" " If I still have time... .. I'll go have a bath or two in Ostia or Torvajanica." "You know, in the afternoon, after work, I take some... .. loafs and eat there." "What can I do?" " Sandwich?" " Thank you, cold you wrap it?" "Is it true your name is out for the 1960 Nobel?" "I already have the Montecatini prize." "I'm here, it's up to them!" " Good luck, then!" " Thank you, thank you." "How do you feel as a married man, Mr. Guida?" "When a man has the luck to marry the woman of his dreams... .. I find the question superfluous." " One moment!" "Hold it!" "Captain, I've heard a couple of thunders, does this atmospheric... .. change put in jeopardy our non-stop long-haul flight?" " Look there!" " Who is it?" "Jacobetti!" "Now she's even coming here!" "?" "You've brought the storm." "Send her away and the skies will clear again!" "Miss, have you been sent by a newspaper?" "You haven't?" "Then, leave." "Guida, to set the facts straight." "You are an impostor!" " How dare you?" "!" " This is an insult to the entire contemporary culture." "He even won the "Acque albule" prize!" " Thank you!" " You're offending one of the greatest..." " .." "living writers, do you know that?" " Writer!" "?" "He's never wrote a line!" "And all these books here." "Who wrote these books, these masterpieces?" "Who wrote these masterpieces?" "There's nothing written inside!" "The here present Mr. Guida is just an ordinary little clerk at "Beni Immobili"." "And he's on his way of losing his job because of incompetence!" "Slanderers!" "Envying morons!" " Forget them and let's make love!" " Yes." "What time is it?" " It's half past eight, have you punched?" " What should I punch?" "Every time we go to bed, you must punch." " Oh no!" "Not this!" " It's a job assignment, from dottor Jacobetti, do you want them to fire me?" "You know how she's a sticker for these things!" "If we don't punch, we'll have to sleep on our feet, like horses do." "Come on, my love!" "Do it for my sake!" "You'll punch, yes?" "Shall I?" "You watch if anyone sees me, and I'll punch." "Nando, you're no one." "Here!" "They're all white." "Settle the account!" " No!" " Go and work." " It's not true!" "You envy me!" "Slanderers!" "I'm a great writer!" " It's not true, they're not white!" " Nando." " Nando." " I'm a great writer!" " Nando" " They're not white!" "You've become a sleepwalker!" "Aah!" "What happened?" "You were shouting." "So pale..." "The books..." "No, no it's nothing!" "I had a nightmare." "I ate something heavy." "Shut up, it's nothing." "I'll make you a hot chamomile and you'll be fine, alright?" "Yes, thank you." "Romoletto, if Jacobetti comes again in our dreams, we're done for!" "One-two, one-two, one-two!" "One-two, one-two, one-two!" "One-two!" "Platoon, halt!" "Sit!" "Very good, sergeant." " Are we late?" " No." "It's the new clock, it's half an hour fast." "Must have some screws missing, like Jacobetti does!" "It doesn't miss anything, Mr. Somma!" "I've set it half an hour fast." "You must always feel chased by time." " Compelled to conquer your sloth." " Where's she?" "Do you hear the ticking?" "This clock is set up to keep you well awake... .. with its noise." "Every minute that passes... .. must be an alarm bell!" "Lieutenant Francois, we're surrounded!" "Dottor Jacobetti, I'm happy to let you know... .. that I already feel less indolent, more efficient and more active." "I am Francesco, Somma Francesco, and with me, everyone else, true?" "Yes, dottor Jacobetti!" " Buffoon." " I got boys, remember?" " You're a sheeple!" "You're a yes-man!" " Would you like to fight, by any chance?" "Look what you did to yourself!" " I bought it in installments." " You want me to say it all?" "I don't like the way you treat my sister!" "Now this other bomb goes off!" "Spit it out, what did you do to her?" "No, I want to be objective." "Pretend I'm not her brother." " Well?" " You're deceiving her." " Deceiving her!" "?" "Yes, deceiving her, to take advantage of her!" "Take a maid!" " A maid..." " Of course!" "How could I pay the maid?" " Then, marry her!" " Sure, marry her when I have to kids." "Thank God you've found one who'd take you..." " .. with the situation you have." " Be objective all the way." "Who're you roaming around!" "I'm not the thrush on the branch, mind me!" "Go, Francesco!" "I'm a good, gentle soul, but if you make me mad..." "I'm going!" "It's the Jacobetti that's on your mind!" "I'm gonna smash your face!" "Have you gone mad?" "Who knows what you did!" "With the bad character that you've got!" "Always talking back." "You must have behaved badly with that poor miss." " I'd kill her!" " My God, what a rascal!" "Always ready for a fight!" "Lisetta, I have to find another job." " But we don't know anyone." " Why don't you go to Pippetto?" " He was so kind!" " I'm ashamed, when you broke up... .. it seemed a tragedy." "Alright, but more than 20 years have gone by by now" "We were young." "Go!" "Guys like Pippetto matter these days." "My Pippetto, there's no peace in these murky times." " In this restless civilization!" " Why not take a rest in the country?" "Lucky you, enjoying all this peace here!" " You really guessed everything!" " It was like a... .. a sudden enlightenment!" " It was?" " It can happen to anyone, Nando." "What matters is the peace of the spirit, my Pippetto!" "Excuse me, I call you Pippetto, I should be more respectful," "Father Filippo." "No, please call me Pippetto, I enjoy that!" " Thank you!" " It reminds me of my childhood!" " The childhood.." " And Lisetta, how is she?" "Married?" "She had kind of bad luck that girl!" "Menicuccio left for Venezuela." "Said he'd bring her there soon." "Didn't show his face again!" "Carletto joined the carabinieri." "You took the vows." "I'm telling you the truth, then I didn't understand you, because I wasn't... .. wasn't ready, I wasn't mature." "You did the right thing!" "Everyone should follow their call!" "And then, you've always had this nice monkish look." "Haven't you?" "What else could you have been if not a monk?" "And you, what're your plans?" "Aren't you going to get married?" "You know, you're getting older..." "I have lost the desire." "With experience, one gets disenchanted, Pippetto." "No, you shouldn't think this way!" "You should have faith in love, in the family, in children!" "Pippetto, I have a worse problem than that." "I find myself facing a serious crossways!" "I'm happy you've thought at me." "At who else could I have thought!" "?" "I know no one, and in these times, you're the only one who can help me... .. solve my situation." "Have you given this a serious thought?" "Yes, I can't go on anymore with the job and life I'm having." "I'm disgusted, Pippetto!" "I can't." " What's your parish?" " Well, Santa... something..." "You see, I can't think straight anymore." "I live around Via Merulana." "Ah, the Santissimi Quattro Coronati!" " That's it!" " A most beautiful church." "So absorbed, so..." "When a young man has such a demand," " I'm happy." " Glad to hear." "The vocation problem is thorny, but every time... .. one blooms, we must contain our joy." "Ours is a long and trying road, one of learning and meditation." "When do you want to take the habit?" "The habit?" "Well, in fact..." "I'd like to think about it a little more." " Before taking this habit." " Exactly..." "Let it grow." "Right, let's allow it to grow." "It means I'll be back!" " No!" " Why?" " No." " Come on." " Among friends..." "Alright, then!" "Thank you so much, Pippetto!" "What a good boy!" "Come back soon!" " And say hello to your sister Lisetta." " Thank you!" "Pippetto." " Yes?" " D'you know anyone at "Beni Immobili"?" " What's this "Beni Immobili"?" " What d'you mean!" "?" "It's those you don't..." "Nothing!" "Nothing!" "Bye, Pippetto!" "How many wives does Rossellini have?" "So, Rossellini?" "One, two, three..." "I've lost count." " Who are thei dorotei?" " I don't know." " And the neutrons?" "How many goals did Meazza score in 1935?" " I was called into armed service '35." " And you want to sell houses!" "?" "A good seller must establish friendly rapports... .. with every kind of customer, showing a keen interest... .. for soccer, philately, or tropical fish... .. breeding." "Your voice should be pleasant, your mood cheerful." "Not dreamy, not misanthropic." "You must have the looks of an actor, the intuition of a revenue officer, and a soldier's enthusiasm." "Here we'd need Leonardo da Vinci or Benedetto Croce." "But I'd like see them deal with this one." " Can you make me a coffee, please?" " Right away." "I have also made an error:" "I've never used... .. the Linetti hair oil." " Do you still live around here?" " I do!" "You're wrong not to come to my place." " Since I've had the TV..." " Yes, I saw." ".. I've had high-class clients." "You have?" "Beautiful woman, isn't she?" "She comes every evening, sits there and dines on mozzarella... .. and a glass of milk." "She reads, writes, stamps and then leaves." "One evening she forgot her purse, another evening her gloves..." "But, cute." " I'll introduce you to her, shall I!" " No, introduce my foot?" "Are you mad?" "Oh, Guida." "Please, take a seat." "I'm sorry." " Are you practicing?" " What?" " A firing letter," " or an eviction one?" " Are you mad with me?" "Not only with you." "Of course, you had your large contribution" "Guida, there's someone you'd better watch out for." " You can also draw a horoscope?" " It's not difficult to identify... .. your enemy:" "it's the accountant Ferdinando Guida." " Oh, that was it..." "Yes!" " It's him you should watch for." "For his lethargy, his skepticism." "What should I believe in?" "In Totocalcio, in Musichiere?" "A gift from the house!" " Miss." " Oh, thank you!" "He is a good man!" "You don't like your work?" " Let it go, do something you like." " I'll become a monk." "But in reality, you're only afraid of losing your job." "Here." "You stay here mumbling and doing nothing." "A real man would behave differently!" "No, I'm sorry!" "I'm sorry you chose... .. resignation and impotence!" " Hey, impotence!" "?" " Well, unfortunately, yes." " What did you understand?" " Well..." ""UNITED INDUSTRIES APPLIED PSYCHOLOGY OFFICE"" "57, 57..." "Just like that, doctor!" "15, 15..." "Oh, damn it, I put it at 13!" "Enough, that's enough!" "I'm sorry, doctor!" "What are your hobby?" "My what?" "Well, those of all children." "I had measles, mumps..." " Go!" "You can go!" " Was I alright?" " Very well, go." " Shall I leave these here?" " Yes, yes." " Rotondi?" " Here!" "May I?" "You stated you were a veteran." "It doesn't confirm!" "Here it says you served three days as a cook... .. in Supplies and then you were reformed and sent home." " I'll only talk with I know who." " Meaning?" " I know, I know." "Protected!" "Alright, Rotondi, you can go now!" "Oh, Senator Baratti Santi charged me with obsequiating you." "What is it that's so funny?" "These gadgets are miraculous, but they don't work... .. when it comes to those connected, because they prevail." " Good morning, miss!" " Good morning." " How are you?" "This is Mr. Guida, accountant." " He's proven hostile to renewal." " Yes." "Have you ever had incidences of mental diseases in your family?" "My grandfather worried us a little." "Once he gathered... .. some thousand people, left from Quarto and landed in Marsala." "He's name was Giuseppe." "Why are you so opposed to the new methods?" "No, I'm not at all opposed, I'm having fun, in fact!" "It's like being in New York." "But as we're in Rome, this psychoanalysis, why don't you try it on someone who's been evicted, or is living in a shanty town?" "Or those living... .. under aqueducts." "That is if water hasn't..." " .. risen over their mouth!" " Your attitude... .. is intolerable!" " Is it?" "You, you're begging to be fired." " Don't you say then it was my fault!" " Of course not!" " Can I go?" " Yes!" " My profound thanks!" "I find them al adversarial, as if we were enemies of sorts." "I don't know what to say." "Wherever they send you, trouble arises." "Miss, change your methods, for your own good!" "Everything must happen to me!" " What happened?" " What a misfortune!" " Have you hurt yourself?" " No." "Then you're crying over so little?" "Come on." "Milk calls for tears." "Don't touch it, there's glass in here, they'd cut your stomach." "You don't have Francesco's stomach." "Ahh!" "You had an argument with Francesco?" "Ahh!" "Let's go to sleep because things are getting ugly here." "Lisetta, you don't even make my bed these days?" "What has she said?" "Alright!" "We'll also make the bed." "In life, everything can come handy." "If you're interested, I'm no longer a girl!" "I'm no longer a youngster myself, what can you do about it?" "That's life, Lisetta, darling." "We're closing in on senility." "No, I meant something else." "Ask Francesco!" "Ask your friend." "He knows what I mean!" "Why, what have you done with Francesco?" "It's your fault!" "You brought him into the house!" " It's your fault!" " If she's to marry, someone has to meet her, isn't it so?" "She's almost forty and still thinks she's a little girl." "What do you know?" "In certain matters, I'm still eighteen." "No, you're puerile, that's how you are!" "We are a cursed family." "Nothing works for us." "I'm a spinster and you couldn't graduate... .. you're studies and they're throwing you out from your job!" "Don't you worry!" "I'll talk with Francesco." "No." "Not Francesco!" "I don't want to see Francesco anymore!" " Alright!" " I did so I wasn't a burden for you." "And for those two kids, but do you think... .. I didn't know he was ugly, greedy and a womanizer?" "What should I do?" "You've gone away." "Poor me!" "I'll run an add in the newspaper:" "Virgin..." "Well, now." "Young." "Not even that." "Who's gonna grab her?" "Commendatore, it's all slanders." "Try me, I can still write." "I've got an idea for a great novel." "Good evening!" "This way." "Commendatore, I beg you." "How can that be?" "At least publish one of my short stories, in the name of our old friendship." "I beg you, commendatore!" "Stop tormenting me!" "They've taken my furniture." "They've only left my bed." "Everything distrained." "And the hunger!" "It's been three days since I and my wife..." " .. haven't eaten." " Change your trade." "Get a job." "What!" "?" "I'll hang myself, but I won't get a job!" "Please, get on to the goodbyes." "I have to say goodbye, they're cutting my phone." "Goodbye." "What manners are these!" "One moment!" " No, not the phone!" " Dottore, you're looking for trouble!" " What're you doing?" "!" "She's my wife." " She distrained." " She also!" "?" " And then, how'd such a girl live... .. in a dump like this!" "?" "Joan..." "Joan, are you leaving like this?" "Giovanna are you leaving me?" " Are you forgetting everything?" " I have to go!" "Our love is over." "No, stay with me." "I'll get over it, we'll fight together." " Let her go!" " I'm not made for fighting, but for surrendering." "Put me down." "Even if I would, I couldn't live in this shack anymore." " Why?" " Our dream has turned into something ordinary, realistic." "I'll start working!" "I'll ask my sister Lisetta..." " .. to help you with the kitchen." " Darling, that's not I'm talking about!" " Then, what?" " You weren't the first one to dream of me" "I've been dreamed of by thousands of men." " No." " Americans, Australians, whites, blacks." " Don't tell me!" "Yes." "They're all poor, but, when they dreamed, they dreamed!" "Remember?" "You bought me at a stand." "Let's not dig up the past." "The one who sold me was an eighteen years old student." "Well, that kid took me three times around the world." "He probably had nothing to worry about!" " Tell the truth; you're in love with her." " Whom with?" "The woman who upset your life, who humiliated you." " Jacobetti." " No, I hate her!" "No, you love her and what'll pain me is that you'll betray me..." " .. with a real woman." " Joan, I swear:" "I hate her." " I only love you!" " Then, everything's simple." "Kill her." "A real man, Mc Nelly, would kill her." "Kill her and I'll love you forever!" "Are you mad?" "This is not America." "Here they arrest everyone, even if you haven't killed anyone." "Then, you'll never again see me!" "Joan!" " Where're you going?" " Back to "Mondadori"." "Wait for me!" "No matter who'll dream me, I'll never forget you!" " It took you a long time!" " Didn't your friend know how to read?" "He didn't know how to dream!" "Joan!" "Joan, stay!" "Mc Nelly'd have killed her already!" ""MODERN CLERK CLOTHES"" "The evicted..." "Nothing, nothing yet." "Please, Mr. Guida, come in!" "I was in the neighbourhood and I thought I should drop by." "Has the doorman seen you?" " He's a friend." " What'll be your alibi?" "You have so many enemies, why should the police think at me?" "What're you doing now?" "Dusting off the fingerprints." " You've forgotten the clock's handle." " Thank you... .. very nice of you." "Use these, they're more practical." "Have you thought about how you'll do it?" "Eh no." "Unfortunately, I'll have to improvise." "I've only just thought about the murder." "You wouldn't think of using a poker, would you?" " Why?" " It's not hygienic, it's romantic, smells of the XIXth century" " As you wish." " And it's not supported by the leading theoretical authorities." "Please." "I'd leave the bottle out because I could hurt myself... .. and leave traces of blood." "You haven't got a lot of imagination." " I haven't, have I?" " Or you don't hate me enough yet." "No, I do hate you, only thing is I've never murdered anyone." "Then, I'll see how I can help you!" "You'd do me favour!" "The "Murder Anonymous" models I'll show you have arrived... .. the day before yesterday from America." " Alright." "Every model is connected to a motive and, above anything else," " to the killer's psychosomatic features." " Yes." "In this case they perfectly match your weight, culture and even the colour of your hair." " Shall we start?" " Please." "Stiletto assassination, to be performed personally, or by assignment with an exciting bloodshed." "It's brutal!" "It rather looks like a marginal crime," " prostitute, or walker-by type." " And that doesn't fit our case." "I absolutely didn't want to offend you." "Pillow asphyxiation, the pressure method, painless." "This leaves out the bloodshed and I find it more civilized." " Look at the next one." " Yes." "Strangulation with silk stocking:" "very fashionable method... .. in the London middle bourgeoisie." "That's right!" "A woman always loves a pair of silk stockings." "Observe the details." "In this murder we find the entire modern anguish." "Sex and solitude." "I'll take this one!" "Let's go for the silk stockings, but be careful at the stretch marks." "And don't forget the motive!" "Faking a robbery would be puerile." " What could I steal?" "This angel?" " You're right!" "If you have nothing against it, I'll go for the crime of passion." "Besides everything else, in Italy, if they arrest me, I get mitigating circumstances." "As a matter of fact, I had figured that out." "You're less stupid than you look!" "Have a sip of whisky, it'll give you courage!" "To the perfect crime!" "But the stocking, have you got it?" "No, I'm disarmed." "Here, take it." " What're you doing, looking at me?" " You're so beautiful." "Jacobetti, what're you doing?" "Dottor Jacobetti?" "My God, she's really dead!" "What method was that?" "I have a killing kiss!" "I've screwed you, Nando!" "I've called the cops." " He's the murderer." " No!" " Yes." " You are the murderer." " No." "It's enough to look into your eyes, confess!" "You killed the woman first." "Then, you lured your friend into the room and locked him in." " Handcuffs!" " No!" "Dottore, no!" "It'd have been too easy, I can't trust the appearances." "Superintendent, you're a phenomenon:" "you're never wrong." "That's not true." "Even I, I've made an error." " The one with the hair oil?" " No, the one of not having arrested you." " He's the instigator and he the assassin!" " No, dottore!" "No, I'm in Milan." "Take "Giulietta", make a test." "You'll see it doesn't get on time to Malpensa." "He's the assassin." "But I've got an alibi!" "I have a perfect alibi!" " I don't believe you." "Confess!" " Come with me!" "Come with me!" "This is a dream!" "A dream, superintendent!" "I'm dream sick." "That's me." "You see?" "You see how sick I am?" "If you can wait a moment, I'll make an effort and wake up." "I'll wake up." "Wake up!" "I've quarreled with Nando, but I didn't do him any harm." "You're the one who has forgotten everything." "The kids come back from school hungry." "Poor innocent souls!" "How am I to make their caffellatte in the mornings?" "See you want to take advantage of me?" "Why have you come back?" "Half past ten!" "Maybe it stopped?" "It's working!" "Lisetta." " Oh God." " It's Nando." "Stay here!" "Be silent!" "It's half past ten and you haven't waken me yet!" "Have you gone senile, or what!" "?" "It's half past ten in the evening!" "You've been asleep for half an hour!" " Eh?" " You've had another nightmare." "Isn't there any bicarbonate, or chamomile?" "No." "There's no bicarbonate." "No, no, no..." "There's nothing?" "Alright!" "I'll go look for it outside, I'll breath some fresh air!" "Listen, would you be very upset if I made up with Francesco?" "I forbid you to see that scoundrel again!" "He isn't a man for you!" "You didn't want him before, have you changed your mind?" " What do you care?" " Ah!" " You're unpleasant!" " Of course!" "Freeze, Francesco!" "Don't move!" "Give me the keys, you'll be able to go to sleep this way." "What're you doing?" "You're looking at me as if I were an assassin!" " Hi, Nando!" " He was here the dummy." "What are you doing here?" "I've come to make up with Lisetta." "No." "Should've thought about it before, there's nothing you can do!" "Go!" "But I love him!" "You should make up your mind, d'you understand?" "It's your business!" "I told you, this one we'll make you suffer." "I'll marry her even without your consent." "Why don't you kidnap her?" "Now, anyway..." "Is it possible I have to police one who's forty!" "?" "I'm glad you're ripened, but this is my home." "At least, behave like two fiancées." " Have you seen?" " Will Nando give us his room?" "He could sleep here with the boys." "It's better we tell him this after!" "Romoletto." "Have you gone mad?" "You'll wet your feet!" "Come on, go home!" " Have you called for me?" " Eh?" "No, sorry, it's a confusion." "It's my cat." "You've said Romoletto." "How come you know me?" " My cat's name is Romoletto." " Has my wife sent you?" "Your wife?" "How would I know her!" " Righetto come here!" "Let's talk." " Talk about what!" "?" "How could you talk with me when I'm straight-edge!" "?" "Wait." "Come here!" "You're so bad!" "Come here, Righetto." "Damn you, Righetto." "I'm buying tonight!" "Righetto, I'm buying a barrel tonight!" "It's a soiree!" " Righetto..." " How come he picked me up?" " Righetto." "Happy you're handsome!" "Righetto." "Will you leave me alone, please?" "Don't be rough." "Happy you for being handsome and lucky." "Alright, alright!" "I've never had a woman who loved me for my own sake." "What do you want to do?" "They've always went with for gain, for the money." "With me, not even for that!" "My wife saw a long way." "She was tempted... .. by the stand I had at the market." "Profit kills love." "That..." "Let's forget it." "That's it, we'd better not cross the line." "Will you come and work with me?" "I need a boy to open my stand in the morning." "3,000 lire a day I'll give you, 3,000 lire I'll give you." " Righetto." " How much?" "3,000 lire, ninety a month!" "Righetto." "I can't, I already have a job, thanks anyway." " Righetto, what're you doing, leaving?" "Stay." " I can't." " Wait." " I have to get up early in the morning." "Why're you always running away?" "90,000 lire." "It's really tempting." " Righetto, you had hidden." " Let me go!" "There's a woman I don't to see." " Guida, what're you doing here?" " It's Romoletto." "But I don't even know him." "Handsome fellow, isn't he?" "All the women in the neighbourhood are his." " That's not true!" " Go away, you drunk, or I'll call for the police." " Call who?" "The police?" " Go away, go!" "Righetto, great choice you've made." "She's worse than my wife!" " Go, Romoletto." " Righetto." " She'll beat you." " Watch her." "Women are all the same!" "I came down to take a walk and I couldn't shake him off." "I'd also like going for a walk in the evenings." "But it's getting cold." "And then, in a unknown town you can feel even harder... .. the weight of solitude." "As a matter of fact, I was already in bed, but couldn't fall asleep... .. and wanted to drink a chamomile." "Would you like to come up to my place?" " No, no, no, thank you!" " I have American chamomile, it works." "Thank you very much, but since I'm already here..." " Good night!" " Come on, Mr. Guida." "Let's at least reconcile our insomnias!" "Come on, I live here!" " But, what if the doorman sees me?" " And what's wrong with that?" " I'm an adult!" " Oh, true!" "These are the things I hate in southerners." " Excuse me!" " Please!" "Please, come in!" "No, no!" "It's better I go away!" "It is." " Please, do come in!" " Should I?" " Close the door." " Yes, yes, thank you." "It's done." "But there's no fireplace!" "Oh, you also like fireplaces?" " Yes, yes." " They provide intimacy, warmth, true?" " Of course!" " Come in." "I had a house with a fireplace, but this is not mine." "Mine are the prints, the books, the disks." "I rent a house for three, four months, then I leave it." "I try not to begin to like it, in fact I chose it ugly on purpose!" "Who knows when I'll ever again have my own house!" "In the meantime, have some whisky." "Thank you." "Everything falls from my hands." " I'll put some music on." " Yes, yes, thank you!" "Very kind." "I'll be right back!" "Oh, I don't drink." "D'you know why I've invited you?" " Yes, for the American chamomile." " No." "Oh, my God, I hope she's not undressing!" "Because I wanted to chat with you about the office." "D'you know why I can't sleep at night?" "Because I'm obsessed... .. by the thought that I'll have to let all of you go!" "And so you'll hate me even more, if that's possible!" "But, what can I do?" "That's my duty!" "It's the only thing I can do, and, if you're not hard enough on yourself and the others, life loses any meaning." "Yes, yes, of course!" "We must be tough, like steel!" "Guida, why're you against progress?" "I?" "I love progress, but I don't like the progressives." "I'll put it better, I don't like fanatics." "Am I a fanatic?" "That's how you see me?" "No, in fact, seeing you, one would absolutely not think that." "But if they put you in a concentration camp, you'd pull fingernails out, torture the prisoners and break backs." "But, it's your duty." "What could I do?" "I regret that's the way you see me." "Progress is a painful process, but a necessary one!" "That's why I wanted to talk to you, because I need... .. someone who can understand me." "Here I am!" "You did well to turn to me." "I don't even know your name, but you did the right thing!" "What's your name?" " Melisenda, Clarissa?" " Maria!" " Original." "Maria, you're only mine!" "I want to live with you!" "I've invited you because I wanted to try to work with you." "By now, I'd say it's kind of late for work." "We can always reach an agreement" " Mr. Guida, I don't like..." " What?" " I don't like casual contacts." " It doesn't look that casual." "It's you who've invited me upstairs under a pretext." "Maybe you're drunk?" "What kind of a woman are you?" "Haven't you ever been in love?" "You're alone like me!" "Don't deceive yourself, your job is of no help at all." "Give me your mouth." " Leave me alone!" " Excuse me!" "I've let go a little." "And to think that when I saw you for the first time I felt... .. a thing I hadn't felt for ten years!" "But it was for you, so I had to stifle it." "A pity!" "I was maybe asking too much, but you'd turn a husband's life... .. in hell!" "And you aren't ugly!" "But you're boring, petulant, presumptuous." "And even a little frigid!" " You boor!" "Leave!" "Get out of my house!" " You're mad?" "You're mad because I'm telling the truth." "And from tomorrow consider yourself fired!" "I'll emigrate, the Foreign Legion!" "I'll go in Venezuela, dig for oil." "Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta." "Miner in Belgium, where you are not." "My turn will also come!" "Damn the stairs!" "Gentlemen, the manager wants to see you all!" "Gentlemen, I've summoned you to tell you that miss.." ".. Jacobetti has resigned." "Really?" "Then we're free?" "At last!" "My marching orders have worked." "Rome tames!" "The mad woman gave up." "One moment!" "One moment!" "But, then, has she fired us all?" "No." "No, no, dottor Jacobetti has proposed and obtained... .. from the board in Milan to keep you all." " That's great!" " You can go." "Take this mushroom off." "With a yawn, our sloth would gobble the world!" "We have won, but we should be ashamed." "I've come to know a lot of things talking to her." "Believe me, Nando, she's an unhappy woman, separated from her husband." "Her husband!" "?" "Yes, he's a man jealous on her, on her work." "It's not easy understanding her!" "A woman like her, so independent." "She's still young, alone, very beautiful!" "She's leaving tonight for Milan with the 0:30 train." " Nando." " Eh?" " She's leaving tonight with the 0:30 train." "Yes, yes, yes." " How much?" " 500." " How much is this bunch of roses?" " 7,000." "Alright, I'll take them all." "Sergio, it's late!" "The train's leaving." "I have been missing your flowers!" "I have been missing you." "Everything will be like before." "I haven't changed!" "You see?" "I've left everything:" "my work, Milan." "Like in the old times" "What are you doing, crying?" "I do everything wrong!" "I'm crying because I'm happy to be reunited with you." "I can't live alone!" "People don't understand me, and I don't understand them." "Everything will be alright!" "And, in our home, there'll always be the fireplace." "Yes, the fireplace." "Let's go!" " May I, ma'm?" " Thank you!" "Thank you!" " My pleasure!" " Alright?" " No, there's no space for the caption." " Ah!" "Now you're telling me?" "My train's leaving and if I don't finish this scene..." " Has she arrived?" " Yes." " Right now." " Then give her the flowers." " Thank you!" " Be happy!" " Thank you." "Room, give us room, please!" "Let us work!" "Back!" "You're singing." "What're you singing?" "More that way!" "Let's do it!" "Are you ready?" "Joan!" "It is Joan, isn't it?" " What does he want?" " How could I know?" " Mc Nelly!" " What?" "But, then, you're alive?" "You really exist?" " We ain't fake?" " "Death Las Vegas"." " What?" " I've read it." "Young man, you can't do anything with this one." "Leave!" "We have to work." "Who's that one?" " How should I know" " Ah, you don't know him, do you?" "I've made you the queen of comics and you've remained... .. the same old servant." "I'd show you..." "Are we doing this scene, yes or no?" " Let's go to bed." " On the street." " Eh?" " That's where you belong!" "Damn!" ""Yesterday in Rome, coming from Moscow,"" ""Mr. Bradbury Milton, owner of the Milton... "" "".. hotels chain, gave an interview on TV."" "Mr. Bradbury Milton." ""He declared that part of the new USSR-USA pact... "" "".. he'll build in Moscow the big hotel... "" "".. 'The Peace Dove'. "" "What's more, my friend Khrushchev wanted to give me as a gift... .. the Dimitriov hills on the Moon." "I went there yesterday... .. and they're really alright!" "A little far away from down-town, but peaceful." "Of course, we'll have to bring there everything, water, natural gas, light." "And, above everything else, air." "But that's great for employees." "Oh, it's a great project, Mr. President!" "Thank you very much!" "What's your opinion on marriage, President?" "I'd rather stay a bachelor." "I acquire women, I buy them." "Thank you, President!" " No sentimentalism!" " Do you need us, president?" "Thank you, all I need is to dream." "Tv-viewers, a Tv-morning to you." "Lisetta, have the pajamas dried?" "Ah, there's no life with this boy anymore!" "Have they sent you from Milan?" " No, I come from Hollywood." " But your name is Maria!" "No, my name is Marylin." "And I'm one of your big fans." " You love me because I'm a great writer?" " No." "D'you love me because I'm the biggest banker in the world?" " Oh, no!" " Why do you love me, then?" "I love you because you're a employee!" "Am I dreaming, or am I awake?"