"The 15 Year Old Girl" "Prologue: what I do it is Thomas's desire..." "Although he does not ask me to do so." "He has not called my mother." "Or perhaps yes and he has not said anything to me on purpose, out of jealousy" "You can not count on him." "If we do not reserve, we will not find a place." "Do not worry." "I hate to go on a trip, it worries me." "I'm afraid to let myself go." "You'll see, you may go without me." "I will call him to remind him." "Perhaps your father does not like and his antiquated side goes out for him." "No, I would have realized." "Or perhaps he liked too much and that gives me more disgust." "I'm going to see my mother." " Are you going home to your father?" " No, I will go tomorrow." "Hello, sorry to bother you, Is Thomas here?" "I don't think he comes today." "But if you think it will happen, you can wait for him." " Sit down." " I'd rather stand." "They all say that he can trust in you." "But you has not called my mother ..." "I have not had time." "If you want your child to yourself, alone ..." "It's a mess to look after him at his age." "It is just what my mother would do." "Do you really want to go?" "Yes, but I will not call not knowing where to go." "We could go to an island in Britain." "No, it's very cold, we can not swim." " My father told me about Formentera." " It was fashionable 20 years ago." "Yes, with the hippies, but now it will be fine." "Surely there are only rednecks." "I was given directions to call." "On Saturdays there is direct flight." "Glad to meet you." "And me." "Even though I am angry with you." "But I will forget it if you call my mother." "If Thomas went without me I could not bear it." "I do not like the words of feelings." "I can not say, "feel" or "excite", it scares me." "And I cannot explain well about Thomas, but I want to go with him." "I'm going, you can get Thomas." "Will not you wait?" "Do not tell him that I came, or that I waited, it would kill me." "It would not be right." "I want to go with Thomas and I agree to go with you." "And if I insist, it is for Thomas." "What I do is the desire of Thomas but he does not ask me to do so." "Goodbye!" "I have a comment on Friday." "Fortunately I do not know what to say." " Do you stay the night?" " No." "But we can go to bed for an hour." "You have your parents too stuck in your head." "We should be closer together." "If not, it is better to be alone." "Wake me if I fall asleep." "I call him because I thought about it." "My mother will not be able to refuse, and as it's not known it is better that I go home." "I will not have to stay." "In addition, she would not like it." "Why?" "My mother is a woman of truth." "And then what?" "After going home." "I will see my father." "I will accompany you." "You don't like it?" "." "Yes, sure, it is rather like a child" "It is not a man, it's not like her." "She has long ceased to be a girl." "Never should have been." "Come to the address, Sunday at two." "I have not eaten and I drank a little." "One glass and I'm tipsy." "As a child when I would not eat, my father would try everything." "To distract me he would put on a robe and a sombrero with a feather.." "But I just got scared, I hated the costumes." "I did not eat anything and on having gone out of the school he bought me a ham slice." "A few days eating only lean and others, only fat." "Never both together." "I am very unsociable." "When I love someone, I first feel disgust, much disgust." "A monumental disgust for everything." "Then I often do." "Usually to get attention." "I'm afraid to go unnoticed." " I worry about something." " Not likely." "Do I look like a boy or a man?" "As a boy." "I hope so!" "If you are one, it is forever." "Well, it depends on people and their ideas." "I have to run." "You will you call me, to see when we go?" "Maybe before." " Can I say that I've seen you?" " Yes, it was for my mother." " Is it sure that she wants to come?" " Yes, apparently you did not call." "You could have done it." "You promised it, for mother." "I wanted to be sure." "You are never sure of anything." "What did you want to be sure?" " Your girlfriend worries me." " Are you afraid?" "I do not know what that will be there." "I ... and you two." "I do not know why you're together." "Perhaps security." "Is that what she is, security?" "Furthermore, it is indiscreet." "I know." "I do not expect an answer, I was asking myself, not you." "I get bored with the girls of my age." "She's the same." "Those of my age or older only think about sex." "In addition, she is just like a boy." "But better." "I've said too much." "I'm going to smoke, I'm nervous." "You can, but Lucky is smoked without a filter." "Since you'll buy them for me," "I'll buy Craven, the package is nice." "And spare me stupid questions." "Sorry." "Do you have homework?" "Yes, I will do it at mom's." "Last night I dreamed that your father had died." "He was old and died, A very strange feeling!" "You should call him." "I have to tell you three things but I do not remember the order, it was logical." "Let me think." "You have to draw from the best of people, what they have in mind." "That, first." "Two: if you start something, you finish it." "Though your not sure at first." "The end must be beautiful." "It is necessary." "It may not be clear, I have it clear and I can not be clearer." "Three:" "I'm afraid of your father." "I do not know how to say it, but ..." "Do not, because "you do not know how."" " It is also ironic." " Sarcastic." " What is the difference?" " Sarcastic is against others." "Regarding your dream, I have spoken with him," "He seemed to be alive, would you call?" " Is that sarcastic?" "Yes." "He did not call my mother for hours." "I saw the bills." " All three?" "Today this is heavy, right?" "I'm going." "Do you call me?" "I do not call but he has to call my mother." " Will you swim?" " Yes." " Without a swimsuit for security?" " Yes, unless there is nobody." "Where did you buy it?" "I will ask my uncle, he only thinks about clothes." "Do you call me?" " Do you call me?" "Yes." "Day one: it is forbidden to stare at me so." "Especially if it's you." "The house is common but this is great." "It is really nice." " The sea!" "Yes." "The sea is truly magnificent." "Completely blue." "With the sun the color changes continuously." "Here an exiled saint lived." "He founded the Carmelite missionaries." "Six years later, he went on missions." "From the inside out, Thomas." "Always." " Is it much distance to swim?" " 500 Meters." "I do not advise it, there are very strong currents." "And on what was the saint living?" "In Velra there was always fresh water and rabbits." "You have to like the rabbit and I do not like." " Will it do well?" " Yes." " I left the swimming pool as they asked." " Perfect, I hate swimming pools." " Is it possible to get on the terrace?" " Yes, inside." "Take the keys, the papers are inside." "My room." "Yours." "And your father." "And over there above, the terrace." "What did your father do on the plane?" "Nothing." "He seemed happy to leave." "Was he not looking at us?" "Not, he was looking at you." "Not in an insistent way, but he was looking at you." " He wasn't staring at me with insistence?" " No." "Furtively?" "No, not pushy or furtively." "Then carefully." "So I saw." "Let him look, it happens." "No, no way, he was not looking at you." "It is disgusting to notice a filthy look." "It makes everything dirty." "Including us, if you do nothing." "It's under your supervision." "And what you think, also I will think it." "Do not become nervous." " Are we going to swim?" " Yes." "Not bad." "With one hand." " I'll dislodge the jaw." " Wait." "It's like if you did so ..." "See?" "See how easy it is." "It's great!" "I hurt my throat!" "I do not like dark skin, I prefer transparent." "The black goes with blond streaks, like my mother's friends." "Unfortunately, I tan quickly." "And luckily, I will soon." "Are you coming?" "Are you coming?" "We're going." "I know what you'll say, I disagree." " I am not interested in the looks." " He was not looking at you for you." "Yes, when you were looking at me you had his look in your eyes, like a mirror." "It's like swimming." "You can do it naked if nobody looks at you." "But if someone looks at you, even in swimsuit, it's uncomfortable." "He is prohibited to look at me that way." "Especially, if you should see it." "I have to get away from his look." "Simply look at me, it's very clever." "If I leave, I'm just a wimp." "Too mush exaggeration, is a pain in the ass." "You always want to say things as they are." "We say what happens." "And I try, because I admire that in you." "Do not approach and point, we will be together." "Tomorrow we will go to the island, nobody will look at you." "Spend the day without it." "Can you turn it down?" " You do not like?" " No." "Makes you want to mourn Although there is no desire to." "When will you stop looking at me?" "It's not you who interests me but your age." "And your age does not matter to me, it is quite disagreeable." "I am interested in your age from what it produces:" "speed of execution in the phrase, and as they pass the feelings to your face." "Very fast and very visibly." "But what you usually say is not predictable." "As if you were younger." "I do not know how you can preserve it and remain in such a state." "You still have a sense of joy, humor." "You are happier, so you're better." "Thomas is simpler than you" "His aim is to make me say: " Ah, yes! "" "Makes it impossible for him to say, and he is content." "Also you say very well: " Oh, no! "." "With so much enthusiasm!" "Only the end falls down with regard to: " Ah, yes! "" "It is very convenient." "I never said: "Oh, no!"" "Since you arrived you say it your way." "Without pronouncing, but I hear very well." "Yes, really." "That's funny." "I like to read, I do not like when you read." "Are you angry?" "Do you have grounds?" "Protect yourself or you will feel my motives." "Let's play." "The test is to seduce the father and to make him fall down to escape from him." "By day, pretend that nothing happens." "And at night, everything is dangerous." "I love you." "Neither brother nor sister, more than that." "Day 2:" "Thomas and I, we decided ..." "nothing." "Do not do anything, annoyed with it all." "Room Service." "Room Service." "This morning I am attracted by the perfection of the world." "I know it will not last but I can not say otherwise." "You're quite right." "At your age, you feel good almost every morning." "You do not understand the scope of my metaphysical reflection." "No, not metaphysical." "But if you think today the world is nice, I trust you." "As you do not usually like anything, I think." " But not for long, of course." " Of course." " I hope." " Do I take you in the car up to the top?" "No, not necessary." "Good luck." "Sure you do not want to come?" "I do not think I'll come, although i want to be with you.." "It's hardly 500 meters." "It is too far." "I promise I will not leave you, we drown together." "Come!" "No, I'm afraid." "I can not resist." "I love you in spite of everything." "What counts is not the swimmer." "If you are not going, pick up my clothes." "Forget the picnic!" "What?" "I chickened out." "I didn't even expect to see him go." "He was so far away, I no longer saw him." "He was just a speck in the sea." "If something happens to him, we will not be able to alert anyone." "No need to worry." "I trust him too much." "I have not done the right thing, I should have stopped him." "And now I have fear." "Do not be afraid, Thomas would not like it." "I am going to Thomas' room." "Can not sleep?" "No." " Are you better?" " Not much." "Tell me a story about Thomas." "At 4 years old he asked me to take off the training wheels on his bike." "I refused, I was afraid he would get hurt." "His mother was so insistent that I relented." "He mounted it and went away, as if his whole life he had done it." "I accused him of having practiced with a friend, but no." "He had awakened saying "I know cycling," and it was true." "He was right." "Kleine schlafmütze," "I went for Thomas, to turn him toward the right way." "You've been sleeping." "If you sleep well, anything can happen." "Yes it is far but not too great for Thomas." "There is no danger." "There is no point staying here." "Yes, better to wait at home." "You're right, he may have arrived." "Yes." "What does it mean "Kleine schlafmüze"?" "The little sleeper." "How beautiful!" "Thomas and I have decided something ..." "We don't anything, annoyed with it all." "Then, we shall see" "If this was like with the others, it would be terrible." "But I do not believe." "Although I also think I do not care." "If I do not love the boy, it is sure that it does not affect me." "I do not like subservient guys." "The guys I met at 14 years were wild and independent." "At 16, are no longer wild.." "It's a difficult age." "They start thinking about sex and violence, it tickles them." "Later, it is the same." "As they begin thinking about sex ..." "When I met Thomas he was not thinking about that." "Thinking without thinking." "I can not explain, it's much nicer." "He believes that he does not think about it but yes it does it." "Yademás, can be jealous" "To make a boy become jealous, it is necessary to count up to 100." "Come on, he says." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine ..." "One, two, three, four, five ..." "The island was worthless, there was not one bird." "Only beer cans and so many rabbits that I could have pulled them up by the ears, as carrots." "I should have brought one." "I was only an hour because I saw an old tower that only is seen from there, and I went up it." " And it was very nice." " And now you're hungry." "Yes." "Well." "You're a pig, a savage." "I missed you." "And I love you." "Do you feel that we should not be like the others?" "We are not like others." "If we start, we are ready." "The idea that you can be a boy like the others ..." "It does not have to be difficult, if it is a test, it is absurd." "Today I want to sleep with you." "But I will sleep in your bed." "Get out." "No creeping around the house this evening?" "No, I will not be a mouse." "I've bundled a fresh cigar." "Do you see anyone?" "Do you believe that I need it to make fun myself?" "Here, for the road." "When we leave will we miss the house?" "You think so?" " Good night." " Good night." "Day Three: the pledge is to seduce to your father so that he falls down and to get rid of him ..." "especially if you want." "I understand that he is dead but he cannot pass the day sleeping." "When I was 14 years I was in love with a girl of 15." "I just wanted to be in love, I never kissed her." "It would have been terrible." "It lasted me years, and it had to last, it was made for that." "I do not believe that she found out." "I saw her every Sunday." "I knew her until the registration of her father's car." "In the winter she had a red leather coat, and a green scarf." "Their number was:" "Nation 5876." "He circled the booths and sometimes entered." "He even was calling one day for some foolishnesses." "The excuse was mediocre, but then he was so happy." "I think I'm in love with you." "I think that I do not love him." "I understand." "But it is still necessary to prove it." "Does you stay?" "I think I'm in love with you." "I think that I do not love him" "I think I'm in love with you." "I think I do not love him." "Before we were saying everything, now, with your father, everything is tied." "What, again with the looks?" "There are looks and words." "And what he says when you are not around." " We will have a pledge." " What?" "Like when you play and then lose." "A pledge is to get another game." "And although he's done something foolish, why continue?" "Also, what game?" "No need to invent a pledge." "No I have to settle the score with my father." "Last night I said:" "" The pledge is to seduce him so that he falls down and to get rid of him "." "Especially if you want." "You do not remember, clearly, you were sleeping." "It is not something against him, but for us to be one." "When we fight, we are two people." " I do it so that we do not separate." " No, it is a sordid idea." "I disagree." "You asshole!" "I will not sleep with him, I just want him dizzy." "With an entire return, not with average." "So we will not part." "And what matters is the end, it must be beautiful." "I do not think of anything else." "I disagree." "What are you doing?" "I do not know." "Perhaps to return to the city." "Want to tell me something?" "Of course not." "I withdraw everything previously mentioned." "I have never spoken to you about love." "And I have never kissed you." "He told me he was going to the agency." "I'm going to try again with him." "Jules!" "I'm here!" "Now you are interested in German?" "It's a nice language to hear." "What does "schlafen"?" "Small?" "No, "sleep"." "Or "sleeper", right?" " And "mütze" is "small"?" " No, that's "kleine"." " Why?" " No, it's nothing." " I can look." " It's not worth it." ""Cap"!" "If you are going to "sleep" it means "nightcap."" "What is this "nightcap"?" "Did you go to ask my father for one?" "You are gill!" "Probably be the person who takes it." "Yes, it will be that." "I tried to look for one one." "But this one is not bad." "She wears a sexy red dress." "He glances at her." ""What do you think?" She says." ""I have a cold." He says ..." ""The nights are warm."" ""Does he want my jersey?"" "He speaks about us." "He says: "They are equal, without actually being so. "" "" They have the same grace, the same exterior. "" "If she is not the obsessed one of the beauty" "He will not understand nothing of what she says." " The girl gets them ready for..." " The woman!" "So that it takes her to the house along the sea." "Here?" "No." "He thinks he should tell things from your childhood for her to fall." "Things a bit poetic." "These two are beginning to show a bit of disgust." "I prefer that she does not speak to him about us." "If she brings it, it is that he has a heart of stone." "Do you prefer in the car or naked on the beach?" "I prefer silence to hear bullshit." "I hope that she is the one that he undresses." "She runs, does not realize the ridiculous one, everything moves her to him, not a pretty sight." "Even he must laugh." "Well, what do we do?" " Do we swim?" " Yes." "Since your father is not here, no top." "We're good." "Perfectly fine." "I think it's perfect." "As the landscape." "Yes." "I do not like those rocks." "If I was living here, I would order to throw them." "I would live happy here all year, with you." "It is too hard, it scares me." "It is far from perfect!" "Only my belly button is." "Show it to me, with the swimsuit it is never seen." "Only one sees the half, on purpose." "Anyway, show." "The beauty, I hide." "A belly button is not taught to anyone." "I'll show you later." "I am not just anyone." "What is so special?" "That is beautiful!" "It looks like a tear." "It's nice, huh?" "It is transparent, almost invisible." "I'm sure he has not been to the agency." " If not, what has he gone to do?" " I do not know." "You want to run away from it?" "Has he kissed her?" "Whom should he have kissed?" "Anyway, I hate you." "You believe that it is a luck to meet someone as you?" "Go to sleep." "And you, go to sleep?" "Not right now." "I'm not very friendly with the bogey-man." "Better." "I don't like the day people, I prefer the night." "Day Four:" "I have become a girl as like others." "I cannot see the difference ..." "you are right." "You do not eat breakfast?" "No, later." "Do we eat in the restaurant?" "It costs." "I am not ashamed what happens to you." "I never behaved worse with Thomas." "I know you do not like me in a dirty way." "I want to say, in a nice way.." "He was also nice." "This is a mess for Thomas." "Although against him it is not possible to do anything." "When we all love all..." "Do you come to swim?" "No, I'm staying." "Why didn't you come to see me this morning?" "I thought that the pledge is a good idea." "You had reason with the looks and stuff." "If he seems to you to be disgusting, then show no mercy." "Annoy him completely, no half measures." "Although there is danger it cannot do anything to us." "No one can harm us." "Can you leave me alone?" " What's up with the agency?" " What about the agency..." "Well." "What I do not like here is the fact that it is necessary to be seated." "At home how standing, it is much more practical." "It falls so rapidly that you do not put on weight." "Also, this way we have three dishes." "It would be better to eat all in the same one." "I agree." "Then see you later in house." "If you are honest, there is nothing to worry about." "I'll be there at six o'clock." "When you want to tell me, tell me." " Nobody can separate us." " Tell me at six." "Do not speak about him, he is not like you." "You make it impossible to live with him." "You are all dangerous." "Without sense of beauty, it's not worth living." "And your taste for perfection is morbid." "What time is it?" "Four." "I have become a girl like the others." "I do not see the difference." "He's right." "The four and ten." "You did well to change your dress, I prefer this one." "I hate those who do not contain their desires." ""To those who?"" "So I'm not alone?" "Do you also include yourself?" "I do not like the lexicon of feelings." "Do not get into it." "However, you said the word "desire."" "And it can lead to feeling." "And also the most animal thing." "But, scarcely pronounced, silently articulated, the word " love. "" "Can you say it?" "If there is a disgusting expression it is: "Making love"." "'Fuck' okay, but to 'make love' in addition, it is not done" "Yes a forbidden word," "Do you get tangled in the brain Or are you stuck in your mouth?" "It depends for whom." "For me, for example?" "Though it was true, she would not say it to him." "So bad she would be with him all the same?" "I am surprised." "I think one of his qualities is honesty." "Talk about feelings but you're a seducer, a pig." "We are all pigs." "Can I do a reading to you?" "It is not obscene:" "" To do a reading?"" "I think not." "Unless you think it will last until he returns, it would be necessary to raise the level of the conversation." "He returns at six o'clock exactly." "Do not think you are important to me." "Do not believe it." "I do not believe anything." "I Always arranged everything in order that they loved me." "I was afraid that the boys did not love me." "I was thinking: " If I don't do that, already they will not love me."" "It scares me if they do not love me." "Perhaps I do not want, I do not know..." "It amounts to a lot of fuss." "When they were asking me to do it once, I was agreeing." "But several, no." "I did it in order to say it was because them." "Meanwhile they loved me or they were feigning to love me..." "It was because of them, but I did not care." "At first, I was so disgusted at the idea of fucking." "I then accepted, but never more than once." "With Thomas I was afraid that he was going to be like the others." "But we decided that between us there would be nothing unusual." "He does not think as a boy, and I don't take myself as a girl." "The first time I did it with a guy," "I rejected my femininity." "It was not his fault." "I cut my hair, I wanted to be a boy." "It's much better to be a boy." "Now I know I can not change." "It sucks being a girl." "How are you?" "And you?" "Super great." "Not funny." "Well, what?" "You lose the time, nothing will happen." "Will nothing happen any more?" "Nothing will happen any more." "I am not used to that "nothing" with you." "It has become more important than I wanted, but will not last." "Because I hate this." " But it's not his fault." " Get off me." "Let me go!" "Take me in the car." "I have to tell you something." " Why in the car?" " Here I do not want." "How can I say?" "How can I say "I love you" without saying 'Thomas' In the same sentence." "It is terrible not to be able to separate two things." "But I can not." "I told him you had become more important than what I wanted." " You could have told me." " He knows perfectly." "I also told him that I hated this." "And it's true." "I would like to be totally with you but I can not." "I do not know what joins Thomas and me, perhaps nothing at all, but it is difficult for me to believe it." "Ours cannot last, we are under the effect of the surprise." "Do not precipitate anything, everything will only stop." "As soon as you stop looking at me with interest." "The life in trio is a dream." "While among several it is the reality." "We'll see where it ends." "Let each take theirs." "Discard the pairs by color." "We avoid the jack of spades." "The cards have spoken." "Good night." " We swim tomorrow morning?" " 'Good idea." " Are you awake?" " We'll see who wakes who." "He does not care." "You do not believe what you say, and you know it." "He has decided to move on." "The distinction is important but it's not fair." "Since it will end up happening, thus it's ok?" "No, do as if you did not know him." "You awake." "If this is how you see it, so it must be." "You need not stay." "I say to you that you should go out and you go out." "You do not understand anything, do not listen." "I do not understand what you want." "If you still love me." "What do you think of me." "I would like to know if you have met in Paris without me." "Yes." "So you know what I think of you." "I hadn't thought about it before, but now I understand." "I do not want you to stay." "I would do what he asked, if he wanted.." "But I should feel the desire." "It would be an order and I would obey at once." "A desire that is an order." "It was not me who started, it was you who kissed me." "He said he knew we met in Paris." "But he does not know it was you who kissed me." "This night I hate him." "He's just as pretentious as those in high school." "He does not understand what is between people." "He does not understand that he and I are above everything." "So I do not want to go to class, not for the teachers, there is always some useless one that does not support you." "But we have nothing to do with them." "No, it is all these he-men, vicious and arrogant." "This night, though there's reason, they seem alike and it scares me." "I will stop going to school, I will study at a distance." "I do not want more relations with these little men." "The wars they have." "Thomas should not let me go with them." "This night has a very cold look." "If I was kissing him, it would ice over the whole body." "He has not kissed me but I am frozen." "It's the same." "It is not cold, it is an insensitivity." "Sometimes, emotions just leave you." "You end up not feeling anything." "Feelings, not the emotions." "Feelings cause emotions." "Yes, but it is not a nice word." "It was not to use 'feeling' to kick some ass." "I know you do not like." "Sometimes I do not care." "Often I pushed the emotions back of the people who wanted." "Or perhaps what was rejected were mine." "There are days in which scarcely you support the love of the others." "Thomas is very afraid of the feelings." "That does not mean that he doesn't have, but just the opposite." "When I lived with him and his mother," "I did not like him as much as now." "I wasn't in love with him on a daily basis." "There were things about him and moments I did not like." "Now I like him all the time, whatever he does." "I love him up to a point and when he kisses me, it is the unconscious one." "Yes, the two you kiss, we are in love with the same." "We will be forever." "Soon I will not be able to kiss the girl that he loves." "Soon I will cease to have charm." "That's why we like being in love with you at the same time." "When tomorrow we swim together we will think about you, without saying your name even once, Juliette." "You're crazy!" "He will not swim with you." "He is going to be angry." "And he and you are not equal, are not the same thing." "I already I am less cold." "Will you come to say good night?" "Yes." "We should not." "Yes, like any girl." "Later, it will end." "I love him." "Day Five: although I have been caught, it's not for nothing ..." "Thomas is stronger." "It is not a history of sex, not against you." "I did not ask anything!" "I do not want to hear anything." "And much less of you." "When we got downstairs I thought one thing only:" "The head breaks." "I have decided to shout whenever you approach." "And also, every time I go near you." "To shout so that he hears me and comes at once." "Thomas!" "I have a covenant of eternity with Thomas." "Although I have fallen, it doesn't serve for nothing, it is stronger." "It is stronger than you." "I will go first." "We could be street sweepers in Venice." "There it would be okay." "We would wake up on the water." "That is so nice." "Closer to home there is a couple that lives at the entrance of a store." "They are boy and girl." "Surely they will not be separated ever." "Neither will we." "There's no obligation to be sad post animal sex." " "Post", not "prost"." " Yes." " After fucking the animal rests." " No, after fucking he is sad." "We will ask him about it when we return to Paris." "And he will answer:" ""What do you care?"" "Let's go." "This is sordid."