"MAGGIE:" "I don't have a problem with two men dancing together." "Yeah, me neither." "If the guy asked me, I would..." "I'm confused." "Those were men?" "That's right." "But they were dressed in womers clothing." "Some guys just like to dress up like women." "I mean, it's..." "Well, they sort of..." "Well, it's a lifestyle thing." "(STUTTERING) Yeah." "It makes them feel pretty." "They were pretty." "Keep sliding with us," "I guarantee you'll see a lot stranger things." "Don't you ever get tired of it?" "I mean, one dangerous place after another?" "Don't you ever just wanna find a nice place and just stay?" "MAN:" "Hey!" "QUINN:" "All the time..." "What is this?" "New York World?" "Are you nuts?" "Get off the street, it's gonna rain!" "Looks like we're in for a little sprinkle." "(RUMBLING)" "WOMAN:" "Come on, you guys, hurry up." "(PEOPLE CLAMORING)" "WOMAN:" "Just get in the car!" "Kids, hurry up!" "I've never seen folks so skittish about a little rain before." "Well, maybe this is Killer Lightning World." "(CHUCKLES) Flash flood... (ALL EXCLAIMING)" "It stings like lye!" "(MAGGIE SCREAMING)" "Acid Rain World!" "If we don't get inside pronto, there's gonna be nothing left but bones." "Actually, even a moderately strong acid rain would easily dissolve human bone, I've heard." "(SCREAMING)" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "Did anyone catch the weather report today?" "Yeah, sure." "Sulfuric thunderstorms tapering off to a light hydrochloric sprinkle in the afternoon." "(GASPING)" "You should have worn your rubbers." "Oh, my gosh!" "Are you folks all right?" "Didrt you hear the weather report?" "Oh, I'm sorry, we must've missed it." "Oh, well, you must be from out of town." "We're from Canada." "(WOMAN EXCLAIMING)" "Well, we never go out without checking the weather first." "Especially during the rainy season." "(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)" "Welcome to the Chandler Hotel." "We're freeway close to all the major theme parks, we accept travel club discounts and, lucky for you, we just happen to have a few vacancies." "So let me get your bags." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Where are you going?" "What's wrong?" "Anywhere but here, out of my way." "You need more towels." "Please, don't go." "It's raining outside!" "I'd rather be staked out in a typhoon in my birthday suit than spend another second in this madhouse!" "So, how about a suite?" "(WOMAN SCREAMING)" "Room rates." "QUINN.:" "What if you found a portal to a parallel universe?" "What if you could slide into a thousand different worlds where it's the same year and you're the same person, but everything else is different?" "And what if you can't find your way home?" "ETHEREAL VOICE.:" "Sliders." "(WOMAN WHISTLING)" "This is the presidential suite." "The president stayed here?" "Well, I can't be sure, but it did look like him." "Why were those people leaving?" "People?" "In the lobby." "(SCOFFS)" "Well, you see, the Chandler is a very unique vacation experience." "Not everyone can handle so much pampering and relaxation." "All those people ran out into an acid rainstorm because the room service is just too good?" "(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)" "You..." "Anyway, we have all the major amenities." "Rain slickers embroidered with the distinctive Chandler logo, decontamination shower stalls, emergency eye wash, and complimentary assortment of burn ointments." "(CLICKS TONGUE)" "Well, if you need anything else at all, feel free to just call the front desk." "Thank you." "And that is for you." "Thank you, sir." "That woman should seriously consider decaf." "Well, at least we have a roof over our heads until we slide." "Which is in 12 hours." "REMBRANDT:" "Just make sure we leave a wake-up call." "Well, it's too early to crash." "I'm gonna head down to the bar." "Anybody want to join me?" "Yeah." "Why not?" "You wanna come, bro?" "Yo, farm boy, you wanna chill with us at the bar?" "No." "I'm quite happy with the temperature up here." "Thanks." "No, no, no. "Chill" means to just hang out." "You know, be mellow." "Oh, I see." "No, I think I'll just crash." "You know, see what programs are being transmitted tonight." "(GUNS FIRING ON TV)" "Check out the Spice Channel." "WOMAN 1.:" "Next week on the Spice Channel..." "There's a channel on spices." "You can call me when it's hot, fast and fresh." "Interesting." "MAN.: (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Pizza man." "WOMAN 2.:" "Mmm." "I'm so hungry." "Hey, I ordered this with sausage." "Extra toppings, huh?" "I can handle that." "(MAN UNZIPPING)" "WOMAN 1.:" "Pizza Man, next week on the Spice Channel." "Remember, he'll take 30 minutes or it's free." "(GUNS FIRING)" "Did I do the right thing, dragging Colin along with us?" "He's your brother." "Your folks wanted you both to be together." "I don't even know him." "You didn't know me." "You didn't know Remmy." "(SIGHING) I know." "Hey, if you guys ever want to call it quits." "I mean, if you find a nice, peaceful world and you want to settle down, it's okay with me." "It won't be home, but we've been to a few that were close enough." "I just wanted you guys to know that." "(FAKE SNIFFLING)" "Are you saying that you don't want us to meet your parents?" "(CHUCKLING)" "So, can I get you folks anything?" "I will have a draft." "Make it two." "I'm feeling original." "Make mine the same." "Three drafts coming up." "So, some weather we're having, huh?" "Yeah." "You think it's gonna ever clear up?" "Oh, maybe." "Ever since they shut down those offshore refineries, the air's gotten a whole lot better." "Hey, were you guys around back in '93 when Santa Monica Bay caught fire?" "It's this dang El Niño." "Pushes in those petrochemicals right in off the ocean." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Oh, I'm..." "I'm sorry." "Did you guys want oysters in those?" "(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)" "(THUNDER CLAPPING)" "... alive!" "It's alive!" "Henry, in the name of God!" "FRANKENSTEIN.## In the name of God!" "Now I know what it..." "(WHOOSHING)" "(EXCLAIMS)" "Hello." "What are you doing here?" "(WHOOSHING)" "Hey?" "Hey, where are you going?" "Who are you?" "Hey, wait." "Wait." "It's okay." "I won't hurt you." "(INAUDIBLE)" "I don't understand." "Whoa." "Seems a little slow tonight, huh?" "Hey, stick around till Wednesday." "Karaoke." "Hey, you get tired of all those infomercials?" "You will not believe what I just saw." "Man, I told you that spray-on hair doesn't work." "There was someone in our room." "MAGGIE:" "What?" "What are you talking about?" "A boy." "Only he wasrt really there." "He appeared." "He grabbed the TV thingy and walked through a closed door like some kind of..." "Of..." "Non-corporeal shade." "Are you saying you saw a ghost?" "Colin, what were you watching on TV?" "A program about this medical pioneer." "He created a living creature by stitching together parts of corpses." "Amazing." "Though in the end, I gather it got a little out of hand." "Sounds like Frankenstein." "That's him." "MAGGIE:" "Okay, Colin." "You were really wiped, maybe you just fell asleep in front of the TV." "(SCOFFING)" "You think I dreamed this?" "Hey, man, you've been traveling a lot." "You're tired." "We better get him a drink, and make it a stiff one." "(REMBRANDT CHUCKLES)" "Is that what all you people think of me?" "That I'm some backwards rube who's afraid of evil spirits?" "We may burn the occasional witch where I come from, but I'm a man of science." "Same as you, brother." "And I know what I saw." "(THUNDER CLAPPING)" "Welcome to the Chandler Hotel." "We're freeway close to all the major theme parks..." "I have a few more trunks in the cab." "I'll take care of them." "Right this way, sir." "This is the second weirdest hotel I've ever stayed in." "Colin, I just want you to consider that there might be some other explanation for this." "Like I'm a ignorant, superstitious bumpkin." "No." "I was thinking more that you're tired." "You fall asleep watching an old horror movie, and... (IMITATING SPOOKY MUSIC)" "Do you think this is easy for me?" "I spent my whole life trying to adjust to my own world, and now I've got a million more to deal with." "I've got a lot of catching up to do, and it doesn't help if you accuse me of acting like a fool." "Nobody's acting like a fool." "(HUMMING)" "(MACHINE BEEPS)" "(BUZZING)" "(HUMMING)" "(FINGER RUBBING ON GLASS)" "(GASPING)" "Quinn!" "There was something invisible with me inside the bathroom..." "There is a head in the ice machine and it had my face." "...and it wrote, "Help us," on the mirror." "This place is haunted." "MAGGIE:" "Come on." "Let's go." "Come on, Colin." "I swear." "I'm not kidding you." "There was a head in the ice machine." "In there." "It looked like you?" "Well, it was blue and frosty, but yeah." "(ICE MACHINE DOOR SLIDING OPEN)" "Well?" "Have a look." "(CLOSING DOOR)" "Okay." "There was a head in there and it looked just like me." "Well, since yours seems to be firmly attached, I really would not sweat it." "All right." "Don't you blow me off." "I know a disembodied head when I see one." "I believe you." "I know I believe her." "And another thing, I didn't have a nightmare while I was shaving." "No, but somebody could have written that anytime." "When the mirror steamed up, those words just became visible again." "There is nothing going on here that cannot be explained by a bunch of tired people stuck in an old hotel with a Boris Karloff marathon on cable." "Now, why don't we get some rest?" "We've got an early slide in the morning." "What time should we be ready?" "In about 10..." "Hours." "Where's the timer?" "It was right there." "Nobody moved it?" "That boy was in here." "Now, what would a ghost want with a timer?" "That weird guy from the lobby was snooping around outside." "Fine." "You check him out." "I'm gonna go talk to our host." "Put some clothes on." ""Put some clothes on."" "Hello?" "Hello?" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Don't you ever sleep?" "The hotel never sleeps, sir." "How may I help you?" "We've lost something." "Oh, well, then let's look in the lost and found." "Ah, it was actually taken from our room." "Has anyone been in there?" "A maid?" "Oh, no, no." "I make up the rooms myself, and I haven't been in there since you checked in." "(SIGHING)" "Well, then maybe you can help us find it." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I can't leave the desk." "But I thought this was a full-service hotel?" "Well..." "My sworn duty as concierge does obligate me to help my guests in any way possible." "I promise you, there will be a big tip in it for you." "Well, please, sir, the satisfaction of my guests is reward enough." "(ELECTRONICS BEEPING)" "Yeah?" "Can we talk to you for a second?" "I'm busy." "We saw you snooping around our room." "What are you looking for?" "Leave me alone." "What do you got in there?" "Amazing." "You guys can't just bust in here!" "I see you're into electronics." "You wouldn't happen to have seen a small electronic device lying around, would you?" "About yea big, red, blinking numbers?" "What would I be doing in your room?" "Come on." "Don't touch that." "Why don't you tell us that?" "What's all the gear for?" "I'm doing meteorological experiments." "Analyzing weather patterns and atmospheric contamination." "You study the weather by sucking up dust bunnies?" "I was collecting water and particulate samples off of people's shoes." "They tracked into the hotel." "If that's even any of your business." "What's your name?" "Smith." "John Smith." "You expect us to believe that?" "What kind of an idiot checks into a hotel using the alias of "John Smith"?" "I realize it is not a very common name, you know, but that is no reason for you to be insulting." "Well, he's not lying." "John Smith." "Graduate student at Caltec." "My mother named me after the Greek god of intellectual pursuits and lost objects." "(BEEPING) What does this thing do?" "(BEEPING FASTER)" "MAGGIE:" "Come on, guys." "We should let Mr. Smith get back to work." "Sorry we disturbed you." "I think we should keep an eye on our Mr. Smith." "We haven't seen anyone else come or go since the rain started." "Yeah." "Then the timer's probably in the building somewhere." "We've got nine hours to turn this place upside down." "Have you guys ever lost the timer before?" "So, "to chill" is a good thing?" "Oh, yeah, man." "If you chill, that means you're cool." "Obviously if you were chilled, that means you'd be cold." "Well, see, it's not about temperature." "It's about a state of mind." "So, cool is good." "So, if you're too hot, that must be bad, right?" "Well, both hot and bad are good." "I'm not even gonna get into "phat", "fresh" and "dope"." "(SIGHS)" "Oh, great." "What is this, a bad horror movie?" "(SIGHING) What's next?" "Blood pouring out of the elevator, voodoo dolls chasing us with steak knives?" "Oh, there's a flashlight back here in every other world." "Got you." "Ow!" "Yeah, that's gonna leave a mark." "(SIGHING)" "(ETHEREAL NOISE)" "Who's there?" "Quinn?" "Is that you?" "Quinn?" "Hello?" "Sorry." "This usually happens after the first storm." "The rain eats right through the wires." "How long have you been working here?" "Oh, my husband and I bought the place six years ago." "We always wanted to run our own hotel." "He died two months after we opened the doors." "I'm sorry." "(SHRUGS) It was cancer." "He worked for SoCal Oil and Gas, digging the San Fernando petro duct." "We bought this place to get him out of that hole." "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)" "I guess we waited a little too long." "Do you ever think about leaving?" "Going someplace where there aren't so many ghosts?" "Um... (STUTTERING) I still have a lot invested in this place." "Oh, hey, I've got it." "Thanks." "It's nice having people stay at the hotel again." "I spend a lot of time in hotels." "It isn't easy having people just pass through your life." "No point in getting attached though when checkout time is at 12:00, right?" "We..." "We better keep looking." "Anyone down here?" "(RATS SQUEAKING)" "Quinn, if that's you, I swear I'm gonna skin you alive." "(DOOR SLAMMING)" "Hey!" "Hey, who's out there?" "Let me out of here!" "Oh, man." "This is the room the boy went into." "I don't care what your brother said." "There is something paranormal going on here." ""Paranormal." Beyond normal." "Yeah." "Yeah, that sums things up nicely." "There's definitely something paranormal going on around here." "I'm gonna run down to the front desk, see if I can hustle up a key to this door." "Good idea." "Rembrandt." "Remmy." "Don't be afraid." "My name's Colin Mallory." "What's yours?" "(INAUDIBLE)" "I can't hear you." "What are you trying to tell me?" "Where did you come from?" "Remmy." "Remmy?" "Paranormal." "(BEEPING)" "(BEEPING FASTER)" "REMBRANDT:" "Colin, I didn't get us a key, but I got us some light." "Rembrandt, I saw the boy again." "He opened the door." "Hey, Colin?" "I'm right here." "What's the matter with you?" "I'm right here!" "Colin!" "BOY:" "Hi." "He couldn't see me." "They can't." "I can hear you." "I can touch you." "Sure." "You're on my side now." "Your side." "Am I..." "Are we dead?" "I don't know." "It's pretty boring, whatever it is." "My name's Matthew." "I'm Colin." "I know." "You're the first person who could see me, so I brought you on over." "We can hang out now." "Hang out." "Sure." "Play and stuff." "The others are mean." "I don't go near them anymore." "The others?" "(RATS SQUEAKING)" "Okay, rats, keep your distance because I am not having a good day." "(YELPS)" "(DOOR LATCH OPENING)" "(EXCLAIMS) Hey!" "Maggie, it's me." "What took you so long?" "Didrt you hear me yelling?" "What happened?" "I thought I saw someone." "I followed them down here and then I got locked in." "(STUTTERING) And I could hear things." "Like little animals, with little claws and little beady yellow eyes scurrying at my feet." "Easy, girl." "I thought you were a Marine." "I don't like rats." "Come on." "We go out this way." "(SIGHING) Jeez." "Any luck?" "Maggie saw someone run into the cellar." "Smith?" "Maybe." "I couldn't tell." "Where's Colin?" "I lost him." "I came down to find a key to room 315." "When I went back upstairs, he was gone." "Look, 315 is the only room that doesn't have a spare key behind the desk." "Now, I thought you said that Smith was the only other person that was staying here?" "He is." "Well, then where's that key?" "I don't know." "I don't understand it." "Things are always getting lost in this place." "Yeah, you're telling us." "Listen, lady, somebody stole our property, put a human head in the ice machine, locked me in a rat-infested cellar, and I don't like rats, so don't tell me this is all part of our unique vacation experience." "(SIGHING) Sorry." "What's going on here?" "It's okay." "You can tell us." "Okay." "It's not really the off-season." "Oh, well, actually every day around here is the off-season." "The hotel is haunted." "(LAUGHING)" "Come on." "What's really going on?" "(CREEPY ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)" "It's haunted." "You know, "Boo." Bumps in the night." "Blood-curdling screams." "The whole ball of wax." "Disembodied heads in the ice chest don't exactly make for five-star ratings." "I told you." "So, why stay?" "I mean, why not just pack up and go?" "I can't." "MAGGIE:" "Why not?" "I have a son." "Matthew." "He's..." "He's 10." "After my husband died, he's all I had." "All right, well..." "What happened?" "This is the last place I saw Matthew." "That's why I can't leave." "This thing just appeared here two years ago." "HOLLY:" "I don't know what it is." "I've talked to police, scientists, psychics." "The Air Force took over the hotel for almost a year, until even they got bored." "I'm supposed to call them if anything happens." "Our window wasrt scheduled to open for four more hours." "It's not ours." "You know what that is?" "It's a portal to an alternate world." "(MACHINE BEEPING) It must be stuck open somehow." "REMBRANDT:" "You think Colin must have gone in?" "Quinn." "(DOOR OPENS)" "So much for the "Do not disturb" sign." "Where's my brother?" "What are you talking about?" "What's the forecast, Willard?" "You always predict the weather with an EM scanner?" "That is for lightning and atmospheric discharges." "What are you doing here and what do you know about my son?" "I can't stop her." "Okay, okay." "All right, you wanna know the truth?" "I hunt ghosts." "Ghosts." "Yeah." "I have a theory." "That phenomena that are often attributed to the supernatural are actually a result of fluctuations in space-time." "And what people see as ghosts..." "No, no." "They are actually visitors from alternate quantum realities." "That's a pretty good theory." "And I believe that, that disturbance in room 315..." "I believe that, that is a doorway into such an alternate reality." "I was trying to get some readings when I saw your friend fall in." "And you didn't tell us?" "I was getting around to it." "All right." "Here's the deal." "We'll help you prove your theory, but you gotta help us first." "SMITH:" "I was working on these portable nuclear power cells." "Eventually, they cut off my funding at Caltec." "They wouldn't let me use the fusion reactor anymore." "Jerks." "Oh, I put most of these detectors together in my garage." "You built a nuclear reactor in your garage?" "A little one." "(COMPUTER BEEPS)" "Okay." "All systems look nominal." "How about a condensed version for the scientifically impaired?" "Each alternate Earth has its own quantum signature." "We should be able to adjust the equipment to amplify the quantum signal from that vortex upstairs." "What will that do?" "(WHOOSHING)" "Hey, bro." "Look who I met." "It worked!" "Matthew." "Mom!" "QUINN:" "They're not really here." "The equipment is just making them visible to us." "That is quite correct." "You seem a bit more sagacious than our own Mr. Mallory." "Sod off, you brainy twit." "Allow me to introduce my traveling companions." "This is Quinn "Howling Man" Mallory, a singer of some sort I'm told." "(SINGING) Get us the hell out of here" "REMBRANDT 2:" "And this is Miss Maggie Beckett, exotic dancer." "Hi." "Are you responsible for opening the vortex upstairs?" "REMBRANDT 2:" "Yes, I was working on an antigravity machine when something went a bit awry." "The resulting quantum disturbance sucked us into this ephemeral state." "This is fantastic." "You've been here this whole time?" "I knew about the disturbances, but I never..." "You're people." "(SCOFFS)" "We've been trying to find someone to help us for like two years." "You..." "You're a stripper?" "No, love." "Exotic dancer." "Unfortunately, our attempts to communicate were widely misconstrued as some kind of horror show." "Yeah." "Real horrorshow." "How'd you like the cellar, baby?" "You make any friends?" "(IMITATING RAT SQUEAKING)" "Anyway, Colin here was the only person that could actually see us." "Colin, you and Matthew must have nearly the same quantum signature." "That's why only you could see him." "My thoughts precisely." "Sorry I didn't believe you, bro." "Never close your mind to the possibilities, brother." "I've missed you so much." "I know." "I could see you the whole time." "I tried to tell you I was okay, but you couldn't hear me." "Look at you." "You haven't changed at all." "Don't cry." "Colin said his brother can get us out of here." "Yeah." "Well, he bloody well better, because we've got your little timer, see?" "And brainiac over here says that when these numbers run down, if you don't have it back, you're gonna be right up it." "Yeah, baby." "Sorry." "Who knew he was paying attention?" "What's happening?" "SMITH:" "The quantum frequency is oscillating." "Colirs extra mass must be destabilizing the vortex." "Matthew!" "No, we're losing them." "No, I don't have enough power." "COLIN.:" "Power the vortex." "Frankenstein!" "REMBRANDT:" "Where are they?" "They're here." "They're stuck in a transient state between this world and theirs." "Yeah, but not for long." "Aw, jeez, the instability is increasing." "Look, an hour, maybe less, you know, we..." "This whole entire vortex could collapse completely." "What does that mean?" "If the exotic matter holding the vortex open collapses, they'll be ripped apart by the tidal forces of the wormhole." "My sors still alive in there." "You have to get him out." "My brother's in there, too, Holly." "Believe me, we'll do what we can." "SMITH:" "We need more data." "I have to get closer to the vortex to get some neutrino flux readings." "(WHOOSHING)" "REMBRANDT:" "Whoa." "That shouldn't be a problem." "Oh, my God." "I thought you said the vortex was collapsing." "No, I..." "I said it was unstable." "He said it was collapsing." "What's happening?" "I think it's generating more power to compensate for Colirs extra mass." "You better do something before it eats the hotel." "MAGGIE:" "Before it eats the whole planet." "If we can tune your detector to the same quantum frequency as the vortex, maybe we can stabilize it." "You want to stop that, with this?" "This thing runs on four AA batteries." "Hey, man, it's a solid theory." "We just need more power." "Blackouts like this last for days." "Colin was trying to tell us something about power." "He said, "Frankenstein."" "That doesn't make any sense." "Frankenstein..." "Frankenstein..." "Frankenstein!" "(GRUNTING)" "REMBRANDT:" "Man, that rain stinks!" "The cable's hooked up." "REMBRANDT:" "Okay." "One good lightning bolt and you're cooking." "Thank you, Igor." "This won't work." "Sure it will." "I've adjusted your EM detector to emit a pulse to match their quantum signatures." "Jeez, how could you possibly know that, that's the right frequency?" "Maggie told me." "What?" "Yeah." "When you saw your double in the ice machine." "The cold temperature must have slowed her molecular activity enough for her to materialize." "So, now I've adjusted the molecular resonance to simulate freezing temperatures." "One jolt should be enough to reopen the vortex and knock them all loose." "But you do not know that." "God, you could destroy the vortex completely." "What choice do we have?" "Listen to me." "You cannot let him do this." "I mean, if his calibrations are the tiniest bit off, he will crush your son into neutrons." "All right." "I'm not gonna kid you." "There is a risk involved." "But if we don't do something now..." "Well, you may not get another chance." "Holly, it's your call." "I trust you." "No!" "I won't let you!" "Look, they pulled my funding." "They pulled my academic credentials." "Look, my career is down the toilet." "But this..." "This proves that I was right." "You know, and who do you think Caltec's gonna call to study this thing, huh?" "Me." "I laid the groundwork, you know." "I put in the hours." "That's my tenure." "(SCREAMING)" "He's still breathing." "Okay." "What now?" "It's still set to the right frequency." "But there's no power." "Not out here." "Are you crazy?" "Don't worry." "I'll be right back." "Quinn!" "Hey, brother." "You better watch where you step next time!" "That's the portal." "It goes to your world!" "Go!" "Go!" "Thank you, sir." "Good luck." "Bye, sweetie." "Sorry, we didn't have more time, if you know what I mean." "Yeah, baby." "Hold on, buddy." "What's happening?" "Quinn!" "Oh, God, no!" "I told you we'd be right back." "Matthew!" "(EXCLAIMS)" "Mom, not in front of everybody." "(GROANING)" "(SIGHING) Where is it?" "Oh, no." "Sorry, Professor." "Looks like it's back to the drawing board." "Maybe not." "All the vortex data should be stored right in there." "Oh." "Oh, my." "(CHUCKLING)" "That'll keep them talking back at Caltec." "Thank you." "We had a little help from across the astral plane." "I'm bad." "Thank you all." "I..." "Obviously all your rooms will be comped" "for as long as you'd like to stay." "We appreciate that, ma'am." "But we've got a lot of traveling to do." "Yes." "But you did promise a unique vacation experience." "Tell all your friends." "Listen." "What?" "It stopped raining."