"Yeah, yeah, I'm that Lou girl." "I'm a legend." "I'm a legend." "And like Coke..." "I need no intro, no bio, no resume..." "I won the NCAA Division 1 Championship... the Women's U.S. Open, and had sixteen victories on the LPGA Tour." "AII that exists in the world of marketing are perceptions... in the mind of the customer, or prospect." "The perception is the reality." "Everything else is just an illusion." "But that's not why I'm here talking with you today." "There are more accomplished women than me." "Nothing is real except what we perceive to be real." "We make it real..." "I am here, because I am more than the sum total of my accomplishments." "I'm a story..." "The world belongs... to those who control the brand..." "A reputation..." "For good or bad profits..." "A brand..." "Mom, apple pie, the girl next door... everybody's AII-American, michael Jordan and elvis..." "I am not unlike Nike or Coke..." "Let me introduce myself..." "I am brand Louise... and I'II bet in this room today, there has got to be brand Bobs... and brand Sues, and brand whatever your name may be." "B.Y.O.B.:" "Be your own brands." "Create the story, the legend... create the myth that lives inside each of you." "It's you, the advertising and the marketing professionals... that make this world go 'round." "You can make people buy and do... anything you Iike." "We're all just sheep waiting to be led..." "Is that brainwashing?" "Yes." "Is that good or bad?" "It depends on who is in control of the brand." "Mother Theresa, Osama Bin Laden, the Easter Bunny, Enron. keyword b Iou and purchase my build Your Own Brand... and the Power of visualization video and cassette tapes." "And good luck." "You're lucky Dick, because I have you sitting next to me tonight." "That's great." "So, you really think the lighter shaft..." "will get me on the fairway?" "I think it's your swing... not the club that's keeping you off the fairway." "I just love your apartment." "Its great views." "I'm so glad you could come." "So I was Iying two... about one eighty away." "Way to the right." "You know how it dog legs..." "so I pulled out my five." "I choked..." "Oh Lou, if you're back on the tour, speaking engagements... endorsements, they double." "And once you start winning, they'II double again!" "well that's not the reason Lou would go back on the tour." "Oh, joel knows that Sweetie." "So tell me honestly Lou... does this visualization that you've been preaching, does it really work?" "EIyse, do you know how many times a day I picture myself sinking puts?" "Driving balls right down the dead center of the fairway?" "Hitting out of sand traps to within inches of the pin?" "Thousands." "You bet, thousands." "Why don't you sell her your tapes, Lou?" "Or at Ieast give her the toll free number." "Sure, why not?" "They come in really, really handy, when you're having..." "a hard time sleeping." "carly, something wrong?" "C'mon, you know I Iove your tapes." "They're great." "They're actually quite fantastic, carly." "Sweet." "They are." "My basketball coach used to say:" ""You got to get it up before you can get it in!"" "joel, shut up." "Excuse my tasteless husband." "I find this visualization thing really interesting." "Oh they have been tests." "At Stanford they tested... three groups of people shooting free throws." "The first group practiced every day in the gym." "The second group... practiced only through visualization... and the third didn't practice at all." "So you mean, one group practiced for real and the other group..." "practiced only in their heads..." "That's right." "And they found that the group that practiced only in their heads... improved by thirty percent, identical to the group that actually..." "practiced in the gym." "We should do a test with golfers." "Dick..." "Yes, dear." "Lou's a golfer not a psychologist." "Are there any books... yon the subject that you could recommend?" "Sorry, what, what's that?" "She asked if there were any..." "good books on the subject?" "Sure, you could try..." "visualize it!" "Do it!" "by Donofrio." "I've been experimenting... with my grip a bit." "Lou, you think my index finger is too far over?" "I'II tell you what, we'II get the clubs out later and take a look." "And thanks so much for these tapes." "Oh, my pleasure." "It was lovely seeing you both." "Next time it's on our court." "Okay." "You bet." "Bye." "See you soon." "Bye." "Bye." "Bye." "Hey." "Hey, Honey." "So, any decisions?" "About what?" "About going back on the tour." "still thinking." "I know I can get back physically." "It's just the other stuff..." "well, there's not another woman with your drive or edge." "Maybe." "Now, um, I'm handling that insurance with the dentist today... and we have the appointment... with the business managers about the trust." "Oh honey, today is just packed, you do that." "You sure?" "Yeah." "Okay, your shirts from the cleaners are in the closet and..." "I have got the wine and cater coordinated for tomorrow's dinner." "angel." "What would I do without you, huh?" "You'd forget these without me." "Of course." "The earrings make the outfit." "How's this?" "Perfect." "beautiful." "Thank you." "I Iove you." "I Iove you too." "AII right, so what do you think?" "well, I don't know whether I prefer this brand or this." "Which feels better." "Hey, Iike brand Lou." "You too, can be brand Lou." "Stop it." "Hey, honey." "How did it go?" "Not bad." "Great." "Hi, Lou." "carly." "We were just checking out fabric samples for the dining room... at the country house, now I don't know what you think, but..." "I Iike the blue satin or this kinda bamboo color." "You make the call, honey, just try to keep it in the budget." "Come on Lou." "Don't you prefer one over the other?" "Can't you visualize it?" "carly, don't fuck with me." "You know, you're bloody out of order." "Right, I'II show myself out." "Again." "help, somebody help us!" "What are you doing?" "I said no carrying." "I'm ok." "You're not okay..." "It's only been a couple of weeks." "Now, hand it over." "What?" "You know what." "Send it here." "I told you, no interruptions." "We're actually gonna try and relax." "Yes, ma'am." "After you." "What?" "Nothing." "hello ladies... you didn't come all the way out here to buy a flower, did ya?" "You know there's a big storm brewing." "really?" "You know, well..." "we needed to get out of the city." "Where are you ladies staying?" "We own a house up on the top of Bayberry." "Oh, you bought the Harris..." "aww it's a beautiful spread." "Thank you." "But be careful... there's gonna be some rough weather." "And it's way out there..." "in the middle of nowhere." "We know, thanks." "Fine." "Say, I know you?" "Sure, Sweet Lou DeIamere." "The sweetest swing on the tour." "I remember..." "I remember you're beautiful." "You know, we're trying..." "to keep things low key..." "Aww, I'm sorry" "That's okay." "Let's go." "Hey, shelter Greens is our little public course... it's pretty crappy really." "But you know... we're supposed to have some warm weather after the storm." "Maybe, well I play a little golf, and maybe you and I couId..." "shoot a round." "Not this trip." "Sweet Lou, and the Law, c'mon." "Can't beat that." "Not this trip." "Sure?" "I'm sure." "The lady said no." "Right, no." "Sorry." "Right." "See ya." "Okay, thanks." "Hey let me ask you one thing though..." "I gotta ask you this." "When I'm in a sand trap..." "You know what?" "I promise you... we'II have this conversation." "We'II have it... we'II grab a beer and we'II have it." "Just not right now." "Yeah, I'm sorry." "You two look good together." "The two of you together..." "AIight." "Easy on the eyes I'II tell ya." "Easy on the eyes, better than most." "Better than most what?" "Better than most anything." "You know what?" "We have to go." "well, thank you." "For what?" "For the visual." "I mean guys are visual, right?" "We visualize." "That's what we do and... you guys have given me something to stare back at later." "And what would that be?" "I mean in my head." "You know?" "It's all up here in my head." "You know?" "Just click...click...click" "What are you doing?" "developing." "developing." "In my head, there it goes developing." "That's great." "Okay, enjoy it." "See ya." "click..." "click... click." "Great, she's still here." "I guess it took longer to finish." "There goes the relaxation." "You know I'II get her out... of here as soon as I can." "She's saved us a Iot of money... by doing the it herself." "I'II get the bags." "Okay." "You okay?" "It's nice." "Hi guys." "Hey." "How are you?" "Hi Lou." "Hi." "Don't worry." "I'm leaving." "This is it." "This is." "It looks great." "Do you Iike it?" "Yes, yes." "It's fantastic." "I'm so glad honey." "You..." "Your working very late, you didn't have to stay this long." "please, you guys had a horrible experience... it's the least I couId do." "That's very nice of you, sweetie... thank you." "well, I'm glad I couId do it." "Listen, I hope you don't mind if I leave some things here." "No, it's fine." "It's just some material... for the other room." "I should be able to finish it up next week." "So, you did all this yourself." "No sweetie, I visualized it." "Now that's funny." "well then, I'II have to work on new material now don't I." "Yes, you do." "AII right honey, I'd really love to show you the plans... for the master bedroom, but I really got to go before the storm starts up" "That's a very good idea." "Thank you for the..." "She'II is going to make someone a great wifw one day." "That she will." "I'II see you out, c'mon." "So I'II leave you two, to your domestic bliss." "call me." "Of course." "always." "calm before the storm." "Your shoe's untied." "Oh, hey, yours too." "I'm gonna take off, all right." "AII right, yeah... it'II be nice and quiet." "I'II see you later." "I'II be back in a minute." "It's Ok." "It's just me." "What in God's name are you out doing here?" "I wanted to make sure you girls were alright that's all." "Why didn't you use the front door?" "I didn't mean to scare you..." "I'm really sorry." "What the hell are you doing..." "back here?" "well I thought I saw something... and I came to check it out, with you girls being out here... all alone and everything." "So, if you want I'II go and check... around the rest of the house and I'II make sure that a..." "No." "well then, storm's... definitely coming quick, so I have some other houses to check." "I'II bet you do." "Take care." "You OK?" "I'm fine." "You?" "It's windy out there." "You know..." "I wish I couId be more like you." "Why would you ever want to be like me?" "What have I ever accomplished?" "No, you don't understand." "You're comfortable." "There is nothing more you want out of Iife than what you already have." "So, you want to be more like me because I have no aspirations?" "No, because I'm always pre-occupied with training... for what's coming up..." "next tournament...next video." "But you're happy where you are." "well, I Iearned a Iong time ago that the secret... to being happy is to just believe you are." "call 91 1" "The phone's dead." "Where am I?" "It's alright..." "You fell on our front door." "Where are my clothes?" "AII your stuff was soaking, it's in the dryer." "Oh, my boat hit a rock." "I couldn't see anything out there." "How about a drink, that'II help." "I sure..." "I guess it couldn't hurt." "I'II go and see if I can find you something to wear." "Here you go." "Thanks." "Can I use your phone?" "It's dead." "Here..." "these should fit." "What's your name?" "I'm Louise..." ""Lou"." "This is alex." "I'm Lenny." "So as soon as your clothes are dry, I'II give you a ride into town." "I'II go check the laundry." "Yah." "Sure is nasty out there." "Nor'easters sure can be brutal." "Let's get you some food." "What the hell were you doing out there in this weather?" "Gotta eat." "It's how I make my living." "But you knew this storm was coming, didn't you?" "Yeah, thought I had more time." "It snuck up on me." "So what keeps you out in this kind of weather?" "I'm a thief and a liar." "Yeah?" "I sell product to you weekender's for three times the worth." "well, it's worth whatever us suckers will pay for it." "What do you fish for?" "clams." "clams?" "I didn't know you could clam this time of year?" "AII year round." "Want some?" "It's jerky, it's good." "Sure?" "Besides, the cIamming..." "keeps me in good shape." "See?" "Yeah, I see." "feel." "No, go on." "Who whacked ya?" "slipped in the shower." "Whatever... what about you... what do you do?" "You can afford a place like this... and a woman like that." "She is your woman, right?" "Right." "But she doesn't come with the place." "WouIdn't that be nice." "I'm a motivational speaker." "Used to be on the LPGA." "You were a cop." "I was a golfer." "A golfer?" "You won those?" "Yeah." "Wow." "NCAA WOMENS GOLF CHAMPION" "I always wanted to be a baseball player." "America's pastime." "You can say that again." "Nice hit." "You know that was just make believe." "Now you, you're the real deal." "You look pretty strong." "I keep in shape." "Let's arm wrestle." "No, I'm serious." "Get outta here." "Forget about it." "C'mon." "I told you forget it." "It'II be fun, c'mon." "First you won't eat the damn jerky, and now this." "It's good isn't it?" "probably don't matter, you're a woman, couldn't beat me." "Wimp." "Let's go." "No cheating'." "I'II count to three." "No, I'II count." "1 ... 2... 3!" "C'mon... give me what you got, c'mon, c'mon..." "C'mon!" "You're pretty strong." "Aww, give it to me." "C'mon." "You cheated!" "No." "Yes you did." "No." "You used two hands and you even stood up." "Loser!" "Loser!" "CIammer and a loser!" "Those beers went right to your head." "Who won?" "Bam!" "Who won?" "Are you drunk?" "Am I?" "Come on now, knock it off." "Say it, who won?" "You did." "You really are a crazy chick." "I try." "It must be hard on you two." "Why?" "Living in such a conservative society." "Guys probably hitting on you all the time thinking they..." "can talk you into a three-way." "really?" "Guys do that." "Some." "To me, I think that three-way thing is a little overrated." "I find that my ass is a little too sore when I wake up... the next morning." "You're a nice person." "That's rare when I meet a woman that I enjoy spending time with." "Don't get any ideas, handsome." "'Cuz I appreciate a good woman... as much as you do." "What's going on?" "Just having some fun." "Having fun." "Look I told you, you're here to rest." "You have to recuperate." "I hear you loud and clear." "Mom." "Great." "So come and help me with the laundry, please." "The laundry?" "Yes, the laundry." "Ok." "I see who wears the pants in this family!" "What?" "I want him out of here immediately." "Fine, I mean, I'II drive him to town." "The two of you are like schoolboys." "I swear..." "Aww... sweetheart." "No, don't." "Gotta go." "Get these on." "Thanks." "You don't mind do you?" "It's just like changing in front of the guys." "You know it's a real effort to get you to keep your clothes on Lenny." "I don't get it." "It was driving fine this morning." "Those British cars can sometimes have trouble with their wiring..." "in the rain." "It's got less than five... thousand miles on it." "Let it dry out." "She'II be fine by morning." "Shit." "alright look, you can sleep in that room." "There's sheets... towels, blankets, whatever." "Drive you home tomorrow." "Good night." "What do you mean he is staying?" "well we can't throw him out in the storm." "This is totally unacceptable." "What can we do?" "I don't feel safe." "Honey... he's okay." "He's okay." "We can't kick him out, he's just gonna freeze to death." "I can't... please, sweetie." "You were the one who made me leave my cell phone." "I'II put a chair." "Yeah, we expect everything from one person." "You can't expect companionship, romance, running a household... a mother, a father, a maid, a psychiatrist... and a social director all from the same source." "It's unrealistic." "And unrealistic goals in the end, leave us feeling vacant." "He better wake up soon." "I don't want him here a minute..." "longer than he has to be." "He must be exhausted." "I Iove watching you hit balls." "Yeah, but the line's been busy since last night." "Can you please just check the line for trouble?" "Good morning love birds." "Good morning." "Did you sleep well?" "Like a baby." "You sure are a sight for sore eyes this early in the morning." "You're one lucky guy, Lou." "How ya feeling, Lenny?" "Sore, but okay." "Your phone workin' yet?" "Nope." "How about the car?" "Yeah." "Got it started." "Funny thing, one of the battery cables was disconnected." "Must have been the storm." "Yeah." "You sure can hit that thing a Iong way." "She's has a gift." "You can say that again." "You know what?" "I'm gonna go make some eggs." "Not too many more, Lou." "What do you mean you can't get anybody out there until Monday!" "I mean, my friends are in the middle of nowhere." "But what if something happens." "They need their phone service." "I understand that." "Yeah, I understand but let's face it honey, I couId find, a man... who's not afraid of commitment in less time than that." "Isn't that nice... your gal being so impressed with the way you with the way you... handle your shaft." "That's funny." "Okay." "You know what?" "Get dressed." "We'II get breakfast..." "I'm driving you to town." "Okay, so you're gonna try to get somewhat out there today." "Promise." "alright." "I really appreciate it, thank you so much." "So Lou, what's your story?" "My story?" "Yeah." "So, how'd you get here?" "This place in your life?" "There's not much to tell." "C'mon, you guys are swimming in cash, you got a beautiful wife... you're living the life that dreams are made of." "Things are good." "May I ask you something..." "I've never been in a relationship where I didn't cheat." "Now, I've tried." "Even gone a couple of months." "You should get a medal!" "For me... once I, you know..." "pull the trigger." "I just want to go home." "Know what I mean?" "Not really." "'Course..." "I never had a woman like yours." "well Lenny, neither did I until I met her." "She's not just beautiful, she's got class." "I've never really seen anything like her." "Bud, Iet's drop the subject." "If you two... ever want to have some kids and you need a donor." "I'm ready, willing and able." "Yeah, don't hold your breath, okay." "Very able." "Yeah, you'II be somewhere on that list." "How long you two been together?" "About two years." "Where'd you meet?" "At a press conference to announce some deal." "What kind of deal?" "What difference does it make?" "To endorse a cereal." "That's it?" "That's it." "She was there with some guy." "And it just happened." "I guess it didn't hurt having her around to see you sign that... big contract." "You ever get the urge to stray even though you're with... a woman like that?" "'Cuz for me... every time I see a woman I know I can't afford, I comfort myself... thinking that somewhere out there, there's somebody... that's sick and tired of fucking that." "well not me." "really?" "Is it good?" "It is I knew it." "I knew it!" "Guess it's like they say..." ""A man is only as faithful as his options."" "You're a lucky guy." "Hey, what's this?" "Wow, look at you!" "Women of the year." "You're like a regular, bonafide celebrity." "Hey can I keep it?" "would you autograph it for me?" "Time to go." "I gotta got to the little boys room." "Be right back." "Ready?" "Never been readier." "Wow, which one is this?" "It's a Driver." "Can you give me a quick lesson?" "Let's go." "please, I want a lesson from the golf pro." "No." "I'm not leaving until you give me a lesson." "For God's sake." "alright, spread your feet shoulder width." "Just hold it, show me how you hold it." "On the grass." "Do that." "Swing." "Perfect, Iet's go." "Wait, wait!" "I gotta hit one." "Where's a ball?" "Give me the club." "Give me the fucking club!" "Get away from me." "What's your problem?" "The cIammer not good enough for a golf lesson... or you just don't want a man around the house." "Is that it?" "Afraid wifey might start wanting some real dick?" "That's it." "You know what your real problem is?" "I know something that you don't." "You know what that is?" "Remember me now?" "Remember me?" "!" "No, no, yeah Give me a reason." "That was Raven's Way with "Tomorrow's Sun. "" "You're listening to Jack the Knife on Long lsland's WJAC... that's Jack on Jack and we'll be right back." "Are you worried about your receding hairline?" "Have you noticed that your hair is a lot thinner than it used to be?" "Bosley medical has pioneered simple outpatient medical procedures... that allow you to restore your hair naturally and affordably." "At Bosley Medical, we have performed over 1 00..." "It's me." "I'm sorry, but I needed some work on my golf swing." "I'm where I said I'd be." "Where's Lou?" "At the bottom of the..." "Long island Sound." "You mean, she's dead?" "Yes." "You fuckin' asshole." "You were supposed to do this yesterday!" "You increased the chance of us getting caught." "You fucked... it up the first time." "Are you really that stupid?" "I'm sorry." "The sooner we get the money and get out of each other's lives..." "the better off we'II be." "Why?" "You know, you wasted two days screwing around." "Asking her for her autograph?" "You're fuckin' unbelievable." "I was just having a little fun." "Okay, when do we get the money?" "Soon." "She left a clear... and indisputable will." "It's ironclad." "Don't complicate things." "I'm not good enough for you, am I?" "I'm not as successful as good ole Lou." "Listen, Lenny." "This is our only chance." "Let's not blow this." "Now go outside, clean up..." "I'II change, take you to your car, and then report her missing, okay?" "Fucking moron." "What's this?" "Come over here, c'mon." "Sit down." "There." "We both deserve a little pleasure." "What happened to not complicating things?" "well... we're both here alone." "There's no reason why we can't enjoy one another." "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "You did the right thing." "He killed Lou... and then he raped me." "He raped me, now Lou's dead." "That's good." "Just keep saying it like that over and over." "Say anything that will work." "Give me that gun." "Give me the gun!" "Give me the gun." "This genius is still alive." "That's better." "Let's put this back down there." "Fucking tired." "How... could you send the same fucking idiot..." "that messed it up last time?" "This guy's the only one... dumb enough to buy this setup." "Besides we need a perp... otherwise you're the number one suspect, this works out better... with the bodies right here, I mean I think we caught a break." "Why don't you just get dressed, don't wash up." "We need you real dirty, because he raped you." "We have to prove it." "So we need a sample." "I hope he left a..." "I take it back, I hope he deposited a... good sample." "Yes." "He deposited a lovely sample." "Great." "It's DeIuca." "Get over here." "We have a 1 01 9 at the old Harris house." "I need backup on the double." "He needs the gun in his hand, doesn't he?" "Yeah, that's the idea, princess." "Yeah, but you gotta pull the trigger." "That way we get the residue on his hand." "Yeah." "It won't fire, it's stuck." "You are as dumb as a bag of..." "Morning." "Morning." "Did you get my dress from the cleaners?" "You'II have it tomorrow morning.Ok." "Good girl." "See you later." "Have a good day." "Bye." "Bye." "In the books, it's the 22th immutable laws of marketing." "The 4th law is the law of perception, which is:" "we analyze a situation to make sure sure that the truth is on our side." "But it's an illusion." "There is no objective reality." "There are no real facts." "All that exists... in the world of business and in the world of marketing... are the perceptions in the mind of the customer or prospect." "The perception is the reality... everything else is just an illusion."