"I was with a guy that..." "I knew was shooting drugs." "He had $100,000 in this arm, and he had $50,000 in this arm." "And I said, "Okay, go to the doctor." "Get a test before we even do anything."" "And then I just threw all that out the closet and said "Later" for it." "Me and Slick used to get high together." "Then he got locked up." "He called me." "He created this story about... his friends in jail had gotten tested, you know, some of them, and they came up positive." "And he thought that I should get tested." "As soon as he said that, I knew it." "I knew it." "I knew it." "I knew it." "I was ready to kill his ass." "I was ready to kill myself." "I was ready to kill somebody, you know?" "Shit." "We have felt it." ""Oh, he loves me." "You know, he would tell me." "He wouldn't..." you know." "And I just told myself a whole bunch of bullshit." "You know?" "Just a bunch of bullshit." " Yeah." " I knew that he slept with other women." "I also knew that, you know, he shot drugs." "But I was like, "No, whatever."" "I guess in the back of my mind I had this crazy thing about how I was just gonna, you know, prove how much I loved him and how much better" "I was than all the women that he had." "And I was going..." "just I was going to show my love." "I was so stupid." "And sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night mad at myself." "I'd be like, "Girl, you're so dumb."" "I was young." "He was older." "He looked nice." "I asked him." "He said no." "And that was it." "The condoms were sitting right there in a basket." "They were sitting right there." "All I had to do was pick it up and open it." "But because he didn't have that look... and come on, I didn't even know what the look was." " But I just figured..." " There is no look." "Exactly." "Exactly." "A lot of women and a lot of men they figure, "Well, the people I've been with," " all of them is clean."" " They look clean." "Yeah, that "Everybody I messed with, they was clean."" " That's what I used to say." " And I'm saying, so..." " Really?" "...what that mean?" "I know, right?" "Right?" "I tried." "Ma, I can't find my sneakers." "They're probably under the bed where you left them." "Don't make me come show you." "Under the bed, baby." "Good morning, this is WVKS, the voice of Brooklyn speaking..." "Is that you making all that noise, Slick?" "Yeah." "I love you too, baby." "Aw." " Thank you for my foot rub." " Mmm." "I couldn't sleep for shit." "Are you gonna stay off it today?" "I will try." "I'll take the bus for sure." " I'm gonna know if you're lying." " You don't forget your belt today." "And make two of them sandwiches." " She needs two." " Oh yeah?" "Anything else I can do for you this morning?" "Give me the winning lotto number." "Ah." "I'll get right on that." "Kim, you better be almost ready." "And I want those teeth brushed, and no food on that face, either." "Okay." "You want a sandwich?" "No, I'm good." "You are stubborn." "You know you're supposed to eat before you take that." " Fine." "Make me a sandwich." " Good." "I found them." "Princess Kim." "Don't you look nice." " Are you taking me to school today?" " No, your mama's feet hurt, so I'm gonna drop you off on my way to work." "No, Slick." "I want to." "And I'm ready, so give your daddy a kiss goodbye." " Come on." "Let's get a move on." " Bye." "Bye, baby." "All right, put these away for me." " After you take yours?" " Yeah." "All right." "I love you." " Have a good day." " I love you too." "Be good." "Take care of yourself." "There goes your little boyfriend showing off for you." "He's not my boyfriend." " If you say you like him..." " He's too young for me anyway." "He is definitely too young for you." "All right." "Now listen." "I don't care what the rules are." "If you get hungry in the afternoon, I want you to take out that extra sandwich your father made you and eat it." "And if they say something, you tell them to call me." " Okay okay." " Ah." "Hey." " Love you." " Love you too." " Have a good day." " You too." " Bye." "Be good." " Bye." "Kelly." "Kelly." "Kelly!" "Come on, girl." "Get yourself up and go to school." "I gotta go." "Okay." " Bye." "Be good." " I love you, Grandma." "Love you too." "Oh shit." "Amare, what the fuck?" "I believe... come on." " Did my grandma see you?" " Nah." "I waited till she left so it wouldn't be no drama." "I've been up all night." "Yeah, no shit." "You smell like an ashtray." "Look at you with them cornrows." "When did you get them done?" "I don't know." "Like a couple of days ago." "What's his name?" "Why it always gotta be about some guy?" "Marcus." "What happened?" "Your sister kicked you out?" "Yeah, Tanya is not feeling me right now." "Fuck her and that bitch-ass garbage man nigger she married, you know?" "You all right?" "Yeah." "Hey..." "I could stay with you?" "Yeah yeah." "You can be here as long as my grandma don't catch you." "Baby, your grandma needs to learn how to forgive and forget." "Take off your shoes, fool." "And plea... ugh." "Please take a shower before you leave here." "That is so nasty." "Ugh." "Your bed feels like the Four Seasons or some shit." "You need anything before I go?" "No." "I'm just gonna stay a couple of days, you know, until I can get back up with Michael." "Michael?" "What happened to Louis?" "Man, that was last month." "You gotta keep up, girl." "Come on." "Okay." "Whatever." "What's up?" "You know who it is." "Holler." "Hey, Kelly." "It's your mother." "I picked up some new DVDs." "I got that Chris Tucker movie and..." "I don't know, something else that ain't even come out yet." "Anyway, I'll see you at dinner tonight, all right?" "Bye." "We have to talk about some funding, ladies." "We really need to make sure that every time we are at a site or at a meeting or at a forum or what have you, that anybody that you're talking to, that you are referring to anyplace" "for testing, counseling, what have you, support group... make sure you get those stat sheets filled out so we can hand them in and we can get paid." "And we keep on doing what we're doing." "Okay." "The female condom, girls." "If we're teaching women how to take care of themselves, then they gotta take care of themselves." "I have such a hard time getting our young sisters to just even try it." "They like, "What's that?" "I don't like it." " I don't think it's gonna feel good."" " Yeah." "I say, "Well, listen." "This will put you in control of protecting yourself and your own sexuality..."" "But a lot of the older women don't know about" "Reality and female condoms." " Right." " They never heard of 'em." "The Muslim women, they'll take the Reality before they take... and I don't know, maybe it has something to do with their husband... they get questioned less with the female condom" " than they would with a male condom." " Sure." "You could always tell them that they can put that on eight hours" " before their partner get there." " I think that's a good little key right there." "We gotta definitely let them know that they can wear it for a while." "You know what I mean?" "Because... before you go to the club..." " Oh my god." " I mean, that's what it is." "If..." " That's right." " If you're planning on getting down like that..." "I can order the vagina demonstrator." "And we can use that to take it out into the field with us." " I think you should order that." " It's okay to invoice." " It's done." " I think the quicker we can use it," " show 'em how easy it is to do..." " Right." "Yeah." "...it will make it as simple as putting on a condom in their minds, you know what I mean?" "That was great today." " Good turn out." " Good morning, this is Life Support." "Deyah just walked in." "Got a couple of minutes?" "She was asking for you." "Yeah, sure I do." "Deyah... you want a chance at having an healthy child, you gotta keep taking the AZT." "And going back to the hills of Jamaica to see the Obeah man, that ain't the answer." "Listen now." "There is there a herb that might make the virus go away." "Don't you think we'd all be in Jamaica if that was the truth?" "Can't nothing make this virus go away." "Now look, you saw my daughter." "I was HIV positive when I had her." "She's nine and she's HIV negative." "And there's almost no way in hell she would even be here if I wasn't clean and sober and taking AZT when I was pregnant." "You go ahead and take all the herbs you want." "But that baby..." "that baby needs medicine." "What about your husband?" "Is he going to Jamaica with you?" " Good morning, Life Support." " You haven't told him yet." "No." "He's not gonna want to hear about no HIV." "I can't tell him, Ana." "You don't understand." "Why haven't you told him?" "Are you..." "I mean... you're worried, you think he's going to get violent with you or something?" "No." "Then you need to tell him." "Look, I ain't going to lie." "When Slick told me he had the virus," "I wanted to kill him." "I mean, we were struggling." "He was in jail." "I was still getting high." "Had already lost custody of one daughter 'cause of the drugs." "I mean, it was a hell of a wake-up call, but him telling me actually saved my life and my family." "Just think about it." "You're stronger than you think, girl." "No..." "Amare!" "Amare." "Amare." "Amare." "Amare!" "Amare, wake up!" "Amare!" "Wake up." "Are you all right?" "You need me to take you to the hospital?" " I just fell asleep." "Or something." " Right." "You fell asleep?" "Amare, you can't smoke in here." "Oh yeah, right." "Sorry." "Amare, look at me." "Are you sick or are you high?" "Forget it." "It doesn't even matter." "If you don't take care of yourself, you're gonna end up in the hospital again." "I'm taking my meds, I'm just... they just..." "they make me sleepy is all." "Amare, don't play me." "You think I don't know about meds?" "Well, I know you know." "You're a smart schoolgirl." "You know lots of stuff." "Yeah, well, fuck you." "What do you want from me?" "Am I supposed to be like you, with your big house and your big old grandma keeping you safe from harm and shit?" "You're gonna throw that in my face?" "Nah, well I wouldn't do that." "Come on." "You know it's been me and you since my parents died." "Come on, now." " Come on." "Leave me alone." " You can't smoke in the house," "Amare." "Damn it." "Did you talk to Michael?" "Yeah." "We're gonna get up soon, so it's all good." "Well, what are you gonna do now?" "'Cause I got a lot of homework to do." "Okay." "Hey... your... your grandma is coming home soon?" "Yeah." "There's a lot of stuff I gotta get done anyway, so..." "Amare." "Why don't you give me a call later and we'll figure out about tonight, all right?" "Yeah." "Tonight." "Later." "All the little girls like Chris Brown." "And I think he's cute too." "I have him on my notebook." "Look at her." "Doesn't she kind of look like your sister?" "Except she's 6'-3"." "Mm-hmm." "You know I'm gonna be 6'-3"." "You just might be." "Do you wanna go to a basketball game sometime?" "Yeah, I'd love to go to a game." "You know what?" "You should ask your sister if she wanna come with us." "I bet you she'd wanna come if you invited her." " Okay." "I think she'd really like that." " Right." "On top of that, the school is so overcrowded they got them eating lunch at 10:00 in the morning." "She ain't hungry at no 10:00." "And how she's supposed to learn anything if she's sitting in class half the day on an empty stomach?" "Well, sounds like you're on it." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Just what I said." "You're good with Kim." "It's good you're so involved." "Anyway, I brought her some snacks for later." "And I got a kitchen full of food." "We do this every Friday." "Every Friday I tell you the same thing." "No, it's no bother." " Hey, Miss Kelly." " Hi, Mom." "Hey." "These are for you." " Did you get my message?" " Yeah, thanks." " What?" " You wanna keep your hair like that?" "I mean, I like it." "I'm just saying, you know, you play basketball and girls might get a little..." "Mom, I'm gonna keep my hair like this, all right?" "All right." "Girls might try and test you, though." "It's all I'm saying, you know..." "Okay." "Okay." " I like it." "It's tight." " Thank you, Kim." "So, you all gonna watch the Liberty game tonight?" " Oh yeah." " Kim wants to ask you something." "What's up?" "About the game." "I really want you to take me to the Liberty game." " Can we go?" " Of course we can go." "That would be fun me..." "and you at the Liberty game, all the way in Manhattan on Friday night?" "They play the Sparks on the 10th." "Life Support got a whole block of tickets." "But if we wanna go, we gotta sign up soon, because, you know, the tickets are gonna go soon..." "Wait, so now we're all gonna go?" "Well, I thought it'd be fun." "You know?" "A little girls' night out." "You better check out where those seats are." "Yeah, last time I got a nosebleed sitting in them seats." "We got binoculars." "It's a good thing, 'cause you're gonna need them up there in those bleachers." "You should have heard her talking about" ""Oh, so now we're all gonna go?"" "With that old snotty-ass voice she uses now." "What snotty-ass voice?" "The one that says "You don't know shit."" "I seem to remember somebody else being the same way, walking around in those dungarees talking about, "What you need my number for?" " What you're gonna do with it?"" " Whatever." "We're not talkin' about me." "Yeah, but you were just like them sometimes." " Them who?" " Kelly and your moms." "You're always making excuses for them, Slick." " No, I don't." " Yes, you do." "You don't even know Kelly like that." "I mean... barely." "I don't know what you want me to say, Ana." "I know it's rough with y'all," "Kelly acting the way she does," " but you're in it too." " What is that supposed to mean?" "That means you need to chill out." "She's a teenage girl." "It doesn't matter whose roof she's living under." "She doesn't wanna be seen out in public with her mother." "It's a fact of life." "Well, maybe that's your fact of life." "You hid your moms till we were damn near married." "That's 'cause I ain't wanted my moms to hurt you." "Oh, man." "But baby, you know the rap." "People are not going to change until they're ready." "So what you want me to do, stop trying?" "Uh-uh." "What I wanna do... is go to bed." "Come on." "I gotta chill out." "Yeah." "Well, I met someone." "Okay." "Okay." "But I can't..." "I haven't told him yet and I can't tell him." "Yet." "But I..." "I've decided that..." "I'm going to this weekend." "But it's that thing of, you know..." " When to tell, how to tell?" " Yeah." "How to tell?" " Do you kiss first and tell?" " I know, I know." " I know, I know, sometimes..." " Do you shake hands and tell?" "Do you hug?" "I mean, you know, it's that... that scary part of when to tell." "Sometimes, they, you know..." " I mean, rejection is hard." " Yes it is." "They walk out the door." "You know you'll never hear from him." "They're never gonna call you." "And then some ask you for the condoms and a dental dam." ""Go get it." "Let's use it."" "It could go either way." "My thing was just to come straight out and tell him." " Yeah." " You know?" "From the very beginning." ""I'm HIV positive."" "You know?" ""What you wanna do?"" " I love that." " I got some really crazy responses." " Yeah." " "I don't care." "I use two condoms."" ""I don't think I can have sex with you," he said," ""but I can eat your pussy, right?"" " Oh my god!" " I was like..." ""Hell yeah!"" "Me and my partner... he's really not into using condoms." "But if we have unprotected sex," "I mean, let alone a pregnancy at my age... but I don't want another strain of the virus." "But he says that he can't feel anything, I mean... and actually, ladies," " he kind of shrivels up when I say..." " Right." "..."Let's use the condom."" " Have you ever tried putting the condom on with your mouth?" " Girl, how you do that?" " Easy." "And it'll get him excited." "I don't think he'd shrivel up so much." "But no, seriously..." "The number you've dialed is temporarily not in service." "Simon, right?" " Yeah?" " I'm Kelly." "Amare's friend." "Okay." "How are you doing?" "I'm good." "I'm looking for Amare." "Have you seen him?" "Yeah, I've seen him." "He was acting all stuck-up as usual." " When was this?" " A couple of days ago." "Said him and his daddy been drinking Cristal at some fancy hotel." "Wait, you're not talking about Michael, are you?" "I don't know his name." "Owns some recording studio..." ""Hatlantic" something." "All right." "Thanks." "Bring that back." "It's hot right there but it's missing something." "Take it back to the break." "You could still use more punch." "What's up?" "Can I help you?" "Yeah, I'm looking for Michael Johnson." "That might be me." "It depends." "Who am I talking to?" "I'm friends with Amare." "My name is Kelly." " Amare?" " Yeah." "He told me about you." "I'm just..." "I'm just looking for him." "Yeah yeah yeah." "I know who you're talking about." " Fix that." "Fix that." " Word up, man." "Come on, let's talk out here." "It's all good." "So, I'm saying, where..." " Oh." " Now, what did you come over here for?" "L..." "I just came over here looking for Amare." "I just wanna make sure he's all right." "Well, he was passing out flyers for me a couple of days ago." "He seemed fine to me." "Well, has he been staying with you?" " Staying with me?" " Yeah." "What are you talking about?" "I barely know him." "No, wait a minute." "What are you talking about?" " I thought you were his boyfriend." " Now are you deaf, dumb or blind?" "I got a wife and three kids." "Now I think you got me confused with somebody else." "Now he works for me off and on, but that's it." "Yo, man." "Are we gonna do this?" "What did you say your name was again, baby?" "Now, fellas, you think baby's bad enough to be in our music video?" " Oh, no doubt." " She looks like" " she can drop it like it's hot." " Yeah." "HIV is the leading cause of death for black women ages 25 to 34... the leading cause." "And if your man just came out of prison, get him tested." "You don't know what he's doing in there." "All you know is what he tells you." "Carlos isn't gonna take no test." "Well, then you need to kick Carlos to the curb." "In the meantime, get him to wear one of these." "I hate jimmy hats." "Well, then I hope you like taking pills." "Because once you get this virus you're gonna be taking about 12 of them bad boys a day." "See?" "I know my man ain't got AIDS." " How do you know?" " 'Cause he ain't getting nasty with no faggots behind my back." "He loves my pussy." "Yeah, well, that might be true, but that don't mean he ain't creeping around." "Just ask Terry McMillan." "Now I've been living with this virus for 10 years." "And no, my husband wasn't creeping around with some other men... or women." "He was shooting cocaine." "And so was I." "Now maybe I don't have no excuse, but after this moment y'all ain't got one either." "'Cause I'm standing here telling you this disease ain't no joke." "And I'm not going to shut up about it." "I don't care if y'all don't care." "If y'all stop dying, I'll stop talking about it." "In the meantime... got to use your head, sisters." "Excuse me." "Can I ask you a question?" "Yeah." "How do you suggest I ask my man to take a test?" "I mean, I don't know how to go about that." "Well, tell me a little bit about your man." "Does he go to the doctor?" "His he that kind of guy?" "Or does he..." "Uh, you, um..." "Hey, baby." "We're in here." " Hey." " Hey." "So what, you decided about the Liberty game?" "Ma, I got practice every day and homework every night." "Game's on Saturday." "You study on Saturdays too?" "Look, I just came over to drop these off." "Kim left them at Grandma's." "Speaking of which, you picking her up?" "Oh shit." "I gotta go." "Nice talking to you, Kelly." " All right." " Yeah, right." "Watch the stove." "I got that sauce on low." " Where is Kim at?" " Gymnastics." "New class over at BAM." " Mm-hmm." " What?" "I took you to gymnastics." "One class, Ma." "You forgot to pick me up." "So how's basketball?" "First game's next week." "All right, then." "I'll be there." "Ma..." "Amare's sister Tanya kicked him out." "Are you hanging out with Amare again?" "Ma, I'm real worried about him." " Because?" " Because... he left his meds at the house." " This is not good." " No, I know." "So today I went by his boyfriend's job." " Boyfriend?" " Yeah, some older guy named Michael." "He's supposed to be some record producer or something." "He was a real asshole." "I've been trying to call his cell but his sister must have cut it off." "Is he getting high again?" "I don't know." "Maybe." "Well, he might just be ignoring you." "I mean, he might just be getting his high on." "Oh, is that something drug addicts do, Ma?" "I sounds like you're asking me for help, Kelly." "Look, Ma, maybe you could just talk to his sister or something." "Just help him get off the street." "He got a serious cough." "I've never seen him this bad." "Okay, babe." "I'll try and help you." "Where's Tanya working at?" "Is she still over at that nursing home?" "No, she works over at the dry cleaner on Pitkin Ave." "All right." "I gotta go." "And... thanks." "Call me when you get home." " Tanya?" " Yes." "It's Ana Wallace." "I used to be friends with your parents." "Kelly and Amare used to play together..." "Yeah, I know." "I know." "I know who you are." "You haven't changed that much." "Listen, Kelly said Amare is in bad shape and whatever." "So, you know, I work for this outreach program and I was hoping that maybe I could find him someplace to stay." "Yeah, well, if I hear from him I'll let you know." "How is he gonna reach you if you turned off his cell phone?" "I didn't turn off that boy's cell phone." "He probably lost it or sold it or something for all I know." " My bad." "I'm sorry." " Who you been talking to?" " I shouldn't have assumed." " Uh-huh." "We're just worried about him." "Everybody's worried about Amare but Amare." "And if he is not gonna take responsibility for himself," "I'm not gonna be responsible for him anymore." "Well, do you at least know where he might be?" "He works for a club promoter sometimes, handing out flyers and stuff." "What about his friends?" "He doesn't have that many." "There is one kid that he hangs out with, from the support group." "I think his name is..." " Ness." " Light-skinned Ness or Skinny Ness?" "I guess he's kind of skinny." "I don't know." "He's always eating up my food." "Skinny Ness." "What about his treatment?" "Where does he go?" "I don't know." "Sorry." "Do you want me to call you if I find him?" "If you want, yeah." "I don't hate him, you know?" "He's my brother." "But I got my limits." "And I'm trying to do something here." "I'm trying to get out of the projects and finish my degree and... start a family." "Hey, I understand." "We all gotta make our choices, right?" " What are you trying to say?" " I'm trying to say if you wanna give up one of 'em, you gotta live with it." "Oh, so now you're all righteous?" "Huh?" "I remember you, Ana." "I remember you and all y'all crackheads, uh-huh, up in my house with my parents." "And y'all didn't give a shit about us." "I raised Amare." "Me... all by myself." "And I was a 13-year-old out there in the streets stealing shit... diapers and wipes and Similac and all that." "So don't you talk to me about making choices." "Okay?" ""I go, Andronicus." "O, how this villainy doth fat me with very thoughts of it." "Let fools do good and fair men call for grace." "Aaron will have his soul black like his face."" "Very good." "Very good, Jean Claude." "You're really making good progress." "So, see y'all next week." "Thank you." "Very good." "Hey, Ma." " Give me a minute." " Okay." "You know, I was thinking." "You should come to that Liberty game with us." "All right, okay." "I know the seats aren't that good, all right?" "But it's really more about the experience." "You know, a family outing, right?" "You sure you're gonna want me to come even if Kelly don't wanna go?" "Of course, Ma." "What's the doctor say about your feet?" "Stay off of 'em, which I can't." "What about the new painkillers?" "I threw them away." "They gave me diarrhea and started giving me these weird sores in my mouth." "You better do what the doctor says, Ana." "I'm just gonna buy some new shoes." "I think that'll help." "Something we need to talk about." "What?" "I'm putting the house up for sale." "What?" "Why?" "Where you going?" "Back down to Virginia." "Well, what about Kelly, though?" "She could finish high school down there or she could stay with you for another year." "At this point, I'm tired." "I need to go someplace and sit myself down." "Well, I think she should stay here with me then." "It's up to her, Ana." "I can't believe you doing this to me." "I'm not doing anything to you, Ana." "Ma, you took her from me 11 years ago." "I kept your child out of the system." "I know, but I'm still her mother." "I mean, how long are you gonna keep punishing me for how I was?" "Did you hear anything I just said?" "I'm tired." "I'm gonna get myself a condo in Newport News and I'm gonna relax for a minute." "I've been taking care of everybody else for 40 years and now I'm gonna do something for myself for a change." "You ain't never gonna let me get out from underneath this, are you?" "You are a selfish woman, Ana." "You know that?" "Why don't you try thinking about somebody else for a change?" "Kelly!" "What are you doing here?" "I need to talk to you." "I'm Mrs. Wallace." "I'm Kelly's mother." "Oh, Mrs. Wallace, my name's Marcus." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "Yeah, well, I'm gonna be late for practice." "This won't take long." " Hey, well, let me go then." " Hold up." "Before you go," " let me give you something." " Ma, don't." "Here, these should fit you." "I want you to read all this literature from cover to cover." "Thanks, Mrs. Wallace." "You can thank me by being safe." "I'Il..." "I'll call you later." "Ma, you know you just embarrassed me?" "What?" "I embarrass you by doing my job?" "Why are you here?" "Did you find Amare?" "Well, I got some leads." "Come on." "Come over here with me." "I need to sit down while I tell you." "So, you got a boyfriend?" "Ma, just tell me about Amare." "All right, but first let me show you these." " They nice, right?" " Yeah, they nice." "What'd you hear?" "Your grandma told me she thinking about moving back down to Virginia, and I was thinking it might be a good time for you to move in with me and Kim." "I really don't want to talk about this right now." "Well, what about Markus?" "What's gonna happen to Markus if you go?" "Look, are you gonna tell me what you found out about Amare or what?" "All right." "Okay." "I talked to his sister." "She gave me the name of this guy he hangs out with." "I think I know where I can find him." "That's it?" "You came all the way over here to tell me you might be able to find some guy Amare knows?" "Look, I got a job and your sister to raise." "You asked me to help you, Kelly, and that's what I'm trying to do." "Well, I got to go." "Call me if you find out anything else." " Well, answer your cell phone." " Yeah, I'll see you." "Here you go, baby." "Did you put the protein powder in it?" " It's in there." " Can I have some?" " What do you say?" " Please." "I need to look at that homework, okay?" "Go get it and bring it in here." "My mother not gonna do nothing but talk against me on this." "I mean she sees how I am with Kim." "She even pointed it out the other day how involved I am with her school and everything." "But when it comes to Kelly, she acts like she's hers or something now." "I think you're looking for someone to blame." "Kelly's got a mind of her own." "Yeah, a manipulative one." "It's okay when she comes to ask me for help," " but when I ask her to do something..." " Wanting to move her in here is a little more than something, don't you think?" "Besides, where's she gonna sleep?" "You gonna put her in there with Kim?" "She could sleep wherever the hell she wants." "If she decides to stay, we're gonna figure it out." "No, you're gonna figure it out." "It doesn't seem like there's a whole lot of "we" going on here." "Well, no, you damn right it ain't." "This is my problem." "Kelly is my family." "Oh yeah, well, you wouldn't know it by the way she acts." "Aside from this Amare business, when was the last time" " she even came over here?" " Fuck you, Slick!" "Ma!" "She's sorry." "Yes, I am." "Sorry, baby." "I shouldn't have said that." "Come on." "Come sit down." "Come watch the game with your mom." " Here you go." " Thank you, Daddy." "Come on, Slick." "You love me or you gonna stay mad at me?" "I'm gonna do both." "Move over." "Viv, I mean that was my girl, you know what I'm saying?" "And we got pregnant around the same time." "I got pregnant with Kelly and then Viv got pregnant with Amare." "So, the kids grew up real tight." "He just doing crack and the rest of that stuff right now, right?" " And he's positive." " He has nobody to talk to." " His parents are gone." " And my mother already threw him out of her house for stealing or something..." "I don't know, some ignorance." "But, you know he's too young to be out there, HIV positive, you know, with all this stuff going on and not have any family other than my daughter." "Welcome to the United Community Church of God." "My name is Sister Bernice." "It's so good to see you all here today." "Who would like to share?" "Lunch will be served promptly afterwards." "Hey, what's up?" "People call me Ness." "I've been positive for two years." "I got the bug shooting H." "A few days ago, I go in the drugstore to get my new meds." "The guy behind the counter's cool until he sees the prescription." "I know you know what I'm talking about." "The guy got all nervous, put the paper up on the counter like he was afraid I was gonna touch him." "But I stay upbeat about it, you know?" "Maybe I got the same type of HIV Magic Johnson got." "He got it, put on 50 Ibs." "Got movie theaters all across the country, you know, put frappuccinos in the 'hood." "Did a commercial for Lincoln Navigator." "Maybe I got that same entrepreneur strain of HIV like Magic got, you know?" "This HIV could be the kick in the ass I need to get my life on the right track." "Well, you'd think with all the money Mr. Bush is giving these churches they'd at least be able to afford some fresh vegetables." "Ana, how you doing, girl?" "What's up, Ness?" "I figured I'd find you here." "I liked your share." "Yeah, this nigger will say anything for a hot meal." "Yeah, I noticed." "Hey, look, you know Amare, right?" "He owes you money too?" "No no no, it ain't nothing like that." "I ain't seen him in a while." "Heard he was doing some street business, though." "Hustling?" "Nah, that's not his game." "Not that I know of." "Heard he was selling his anti-wasting injections." "You know the bodybuilders love that steroid shit." "Wait a minute." "He left his pills at my mother's house, he's selling his 'roids." "Sounds like your boy's not planning on sticking around much longer." "Why is he wasting his time selling steroids?" "Hey, if you're gonna die anyway, you might as well do it with a little bit of money in your pocket." "That's a fucked-up thing to say." "Hey, you might want to ask around about Amare under the El on New Lots." "Them boys is trade, but they into selling meds too." "All right, thanks." "Yeah." "Wait, Ana." "Hook me up." "If I find out any more about Amare, I'll get at you." "All right, I'm gonna hold you to that." "Gotcha." "Don't let Sister Bernice catch you with those." "Hey, how you doing?" "My name is Ana Wallace." "I'm from an outreach group called Life Support." "What's wrong with your feet?" "Must be walking on them too much, you know?" "Anyway, I'm looking for this kid right here." "His name is Amare." "I thought you might know him." " He's cute." " Mm-hmm." " Sorry." " No?" "I wish I did." "All right." "Well, thank you." "You think you could help me out?" "I need some money so me and my boyfriend could get off these streets." "Well, I don't have no money for you, but I do work for this HIV prevention and support program." "Now, if you fit this profile, we could definitely help you." "We got free testing, free counseling services, some condoms in the bottom of that bag too." "Okay." " What's your name?" " Andre." "All right, I'm gonna be looking for you." " Okay." " Okay." "Miss?" "You sure you can't spare anything?" "Here. $5." "Now you got more than me." "Don't spend it on no drugs, either." "I don't do drugs." "Okay, well... call that number, all right?" " Tender?" " Mm-hmm." "Describe for me how the sensations have changed." "They tingle like I got frostbite or something." " Has the Neurotin helped with the pain?" " I stopped taking it." " Ana." " How am I supposed to make it to work and take Kim to school?" "I can't even get past the bathroom." "All right." "I'm gonna replace it with Vicodin." "Try it." "Let me know if it works better." "Great." "Another drug." "Look, we got to wrap this up." "I got to get to my daughter's basketball game." "If you don't slow down, you're gonna lose the use of your feet," " period." " Well, what you want me to do, lie in bed all day thinking about dying?" "We've been through this, Ana." "You got to take better care of yourself." "This virus will make you a cripple if you let it." "Thank you." "Hey, Ma, you should've seen it." "Kelly had 12 points and a lot of assists." "Yeah, you missed it." "I got held up at the doctor." "I'm sorry, baby." "You should've seen her hustling all over that court." "She made me so proud." "She's fierce." "She's really getting good at this." " Can I stay over with Kelly?" " Not tonight, Kim." "You'll see her this weekend." " I need to talk to you about Amare." " What about that boy?" "Nothing, Ma." "It's between me and Kelly." "Fine." "Don't tell me, then." "He's just in a little trouble." "I'm just trying to get him into a shelter, that's all." "I'll wait for you in the car." "Come on." "Let's go." "How could you throw a sick boy out on the streets?" " That's just plain cruel." " Grandma didn't throw him" " out on the street, Ma." " She did, last summer." "He stole her pearl earrings, Ma." "You forget about that?" "So, what?" "You giving up on him now too?" " No." " Am I out here wasting my time?" "'Cause my feet hurt." "I don't need to go through this." "Look, that boy ain't thinking straight." "He's not taking his pills." "He's selling his steroids." "And being out there on the street," " I mean, that's like a death sentence." " I know that, Ma." "Did you know he was selling his meds?" "Nah." "I mean I knew he was in trouble." "That's why I came to you for help." "All right." "But what about this boyfriend of his?" "Michael?" "I went by his studio, remember?" "He acted like he barely even knew Amare." "Yo, Kelly!" "Grandma's outside waiting for you!" "Kelly, I really am sorry I missed your game, babe." "Whatever, Ma." " Hey, come here." " Stop it." "Oh, someone told me the other day I was supposed to use this." "Put that away." " Speak of the devil." " Ah." "Yo, so how come your Mom be passing out rubbers and shit?" "'Cause she works for an AIDS outreach group." " For real?" " Yeah." "Oh, that's some heavy shit right there." "I couldn't do it... you know, being around them people all the time." " I'd be, like, paranoid." " Yeah." "Amare?" "Amare, hold up!" "Hey wait, Kelly!" "What's going on?" "Who is that?" "You okay?" "What do you think you're doing?" "Do you know the fright you gave me when I looked in your room and you were gone?" "Where have you been?" "And don't even think about lying to me." "I was out with Markus." "Till 1:00 in the morning?" "Have you lost your mind?" " I'm sorry, Grandma, but..." " But nothing!" "I do not want you having the same kind of life as your mother!" "I can't stand it!" "I can't stand it!" "Now, you need to be very careful about the people that you pick for your friends and the influence that they have on your life." "You have to be very careful, and I'm not putting up with it." "And I don't want to see it again." "I don't want you coming in here this time of night." "I want you coming in here at a reasonable time." "And if you can't come in here at a reasonable time, then you don't need to go out." "Or you need to go someplace else where they don't have any rules and regulations." "Grandma, it's not what you think." "I saw Amare and he left before I even had a chance to talk to him." "That boy has brought nothing but trouble into this house." "Grandma, he's sick and he's gonna die if somebody doesn't help him." "You might not care about that, but I do!" "Don't talk to me about I don't care." "Nuh-uh." "Amare's welcome in this house as long he's willing to abide by the rules and regulations." "And last summer, when he started all of that," ""Oh, the house got robbed" stuff," "I'm sorry, baby, but that was unacceptable to me." "I'm willing to help Amare when he's ready." "Well, Grandma, it's kind of crazy 'cause I feel like half the time he doesn't even want my help." "He be lying and playing me, and I don't understand why he would do something like that." "Well, that's just like your mother." "She tried every trick in the book." "But Ma is not like Amare." "Ana hurt me." "It's taken me a long time to forgive her." "And sometimes I still can't." "I try my best to remember everything she's done with herself ever since she stopped messing with those drugs... because she does try." "Hey, Sandra." " Hey." " How's it going?" "Bad day, Ana." "She was just in here last week." "She was healthy as could be." "It wasn't the virus that killed her." "Her husband shot her." "Did you do a domestic-violence screening?" "I asked her." "Hey." "There wasn't anything else you could have done." "I'm sorry, girl." "Damn, Deyah." "Why didn't you say something?" "Already?" "Mm-hmm." "Some college girl took it." "The realtor said her father's putting up cash." "I know." "Surprised me too." "Did Kelly say what she wanted to do yet?" "Ask her." "Kelly!" "Ma, don't put me in that position." "Ana wants to ask you a question." "So, you watch that Chris Tucker movie I got you?" "Yeah, he crazy." "I thought you would like it." "Why don't you come live with me when your grandma moves?" "But, Ma... you know I always wanted to leave New York." "And I'm going to college down south anyway." "It'll be a good transition." "So, that's it." "You decided?" "Mm-hmm." "Look, Ma, don't take it personally." "I just think it would be a good idea." "It's not me I'm worried about." "It's... it's Kim." "Maybe we should cut back on the sleepovers, 'cause she really looks up to you and we got to make it so she don't feel so much when y'all leave her." "Or maybe Kim could just move down south with us." "She could have a backyard, ride a bike in the streets." "It would be a real childhood." "What the hell are you talking about?" " It was just an idea." " You ain't taking my child nowhere," " you stuck-up little bitch!" " Excuse me?" "You heard me!" "I'm tired of trying with you!" " Good, stop then!" " Live with your grandmother!" "Maybe next time you see me I'll be dead in my grave!" "That's some straight bullshit!" "I ain't the one that gave you the virus, ma!" "Go get with Slick on that!" " You leave Slick out of this!" " You ain't gonna make me feel guilty because you're sick, because you was a fucking fiend." "It's too hot for you to be working out here." "I'm just doing what I got to do." "Dropped Kim off at my mom's." "And?" "She sold the house." "She's taking Kelly to Virginia with her." "Oh yeah?" "That's all you got to say?" "Moving down south." "Shit, that's the Black American dream." "Let 'em live it." "They want Kim to go, too." "Oh, hell no." "She ain't going down there." "Yeah, exactly." "Now you know how I feel about Kelly." "You gotta want what's best for Kelly, not what's best for you." "I'm telling her she can't go." "Oh, that might work." "Shut up, Slick." "You know, I could use a little support right now." "Ana, I'm about tired of this shit." "You ain't the only one that's sick." "You ain't the only one hurting'." "Yeah, well, this ain't about you and how you feel." "It's about Kelly." "You tripping, Ana." "You acting like a fiend." "And I feel for Kelly." "Got you clocking her every move." "Lucille ain't taking her away from me again." "Well, we're gonna talk about Kelly when I get home." "You know, you never did care about her anyway." "Even when she was a little girl you refused to be her daddy." "Oh, hold on now." "Hold on now, that's not true." "Because we both know she never liked me." "First, I'm the guy that her mama met running in the street, and then I'm the guy gave her mama HIV." "And you never did a damn thing to change that." "She wasn't wrong." "You know, you can be a straight up bitch, Ana." "I was careful." "You was the one that got buck-ass wild, shooting up with strangers on the fucking corner and shit!" "Are you ever gonna let that go?" "Because we both know the game, baby." "It could've just as easily been you that gave it to me." "Yeah, but I didn't, Slick." "Because I handled my business!" "You the one that let it slip, and you brought me down right with your ass!" " Fuck you, Ana!" " Slick..." "You just better get the fuck out of my face." "I lost custody of my daughter when I was 25... 'cause of the drugs." "I signed her over to my mother." "And now my mother's about to move back to Virginia... and she's probably gonna take my daughter with her." "And I just..." "I miss her, you know?" "I just miss her." "I just miss her all the time." "I miss what I missed of her... growing up, you know?" "And I got a younger daughter and we so tight, and now I'm clean, I'm sober." "I'm like, I try my best to be a great mother... but every day I spend with my younger daughter just makes me really realize how much I missed with my older daughter." "And she could be so fucking sarcastic sometimes, and angry with me, and my mother is the same way." "Sometimes when my daughter talks, I hear my mother's voice coming out of her mouth and I know that's because she been with her that long, it's not my own." "My own is not there like it should be, and I want my own voice to come out sometimes a little more." "Now that may be completely selfish." "You know, you may say, "Ana, what the fuck?" "You the one was getting high, and you the one that caught this," you know, all this kind of shit." "But you know what?" "I'm just like, you know," "I'm trying to be a different person." "And you know," "I mean, how's she just gonna up and move?" "Like... my daughter's almost grown." "Like, it's gone." "It's gone." "I just feel like I'm running out of time." "I feel like she's about to leave me, you know." "And I'm here now, you know, and I wanna be there." "Like I said, this is just one of them days, you know?" "Okay, so this promoter named MJ-2 runs these parties over at The Pit." "He's all up in that homo-thug world." "Got guys hustling for him, the whole shit." "If anybody could find Amare, it's him." " He gay?" " How the hell do I know?" "What, I got gaydar or some shit?" "I don't know, you just seem to know a lot of different kinds of people," " that's all." " Just 'cause he's running the parties, don't mean he can't be straight." "He got a family living out in Staten Island... white picket fence, the whole shit." "Yeah, family." "Definitely can't be gay." "So, what's up?" "You gonna introduce me or what?" "You gonna hook me up?" "I can't believe you get this much ass." "He got a party happening tonight." "What'd you say his name was again?" "MJ-2." "You heard of him?" "Owns a recording studio called Hatlantic." "Thinks he's a producer, but his joints are corny." " You ready?" " Can I finish my fried rice, please?" "Well, hurry up then." "You looking for MJ-2, right?" "That's him deejaying." "Thanks for dinner." "I'm out." "Yeah, I know Amare." "He gives out flyers for me sometimes." "Not a lot of jobs out there for young brothers, so I try to do my part." "Well, he works for you, so I thought, you know, you might know some way to find him that I don't." "Damn, that boy's popular." "Got all kind of women looking out for him." "Excuse me, this is not a funny situation to me." "And turn that fucking thing off so you could talk to me for a minute." "I'm gonna tell you what I told shorty that came looking for him last week." "I haven't seen him in a while." "Shorty... that wouldn't have happened to be at Hatlantic, would it?" "This is starting to get tiring, okay?" "I provide a service here, a place where these boys could be themselves." "Other than that, I try not to get up in anybody's business." "Maybe you should think about doing the same." "Well, ain't you a saint?" "Let me tell you something, MJ-2... or is it Michael?" "I wonder what would happen if I go to Staten Island and ask your wife what she think about your little two-timing ways." "Bitch, don't you ever try to threaten me or my family." "I will have your ass killed." "Go ahead!" "Please!" "I got the virus." "I'm already dead, motherfucker!" "What?" "And let me tell you something:" "I don't give a fuck about you or your little lying booty-bandit ass, but you gonna help me find that boy before he dies on these fucking streets." "Do you hear me?" "Yeah, okay." "Okay." "Put your number in my phone." "You just gotta make a nigger go there." "Here." "Store it." "I was scared you weren't coming home." "I thought about it." "I even went past the old spot." "Saw a lot of folks out there." "Getting high?" "Ana, you keep pushing and pushing and I don't know why." "I know our life ain't perfect, okay?" "But it's good... a lot of the time." "Better than it was before, when we were using." "But you saying I could be a bitch sometimes?" "Yeah." "Well, damn, you could've hesitated or something." "I guess I could have, but what's true is true." "You being honest or you being funny?" "Both." "I love you, but sometimes... you play all of us... me and Kelly, and your moms." "You do what you want no matter how it affects us." "That is not true." "See?" "There you go right there." "You gonna ask the question but you don't wanna hear the answer." "You're stubborn, and you don't listen." "Okay, Slick." "I'm sorry." "I'm gonna work on it." "So what, you been sitting here all night?" "Hardly." "I've been all over." "I said some wild shit tonight about dying." " Like what?" " Don't even matter." "I didn't mean it." "The bottom line is" "I want to be around for a long time." "Me and you, that's how it needs to be." "You and me, not just you." "And you need to chill out some." "And, you know, maybe you can give me a foot rub sometime." "Huh?" "Aw, yeah." "Now you go in there and make me a sandwich too." " At the same time?" " Uh-huh, rub my feet" " and make the sandwich." " Okay, baby." "Hello?" "Where?" "Right now?" "Okay." "Okay." "Who's that?" "That was the guy from the club." "He said he knows where to find Amare." "I'm gonna see if I can bring him home." "Okay." "Let's roll." "Oh, he don't look right, baby." "Listen, you go." "I'm gonna be right here." "Okay." "Okay, baby." "Amare?" "Hey, how you doing?" "Miss Wallace?" "Is Kelly with you?" "What are you doing here?" "I've been looking for you all over Brooklyn." "Let's go inside the building and talk for a minute, okay?" "I wanna stay here, Miss Wallace." "It's kinda hot out here." "I'm fine." "Remember when... it would get too hot in the apartment," "my parents would come down here with us?" "Mm-hmm." "Remember when y'all was having that barbecue, right over there?" "We knew y'all was just getting high." "There was a big-ass rottweiler." "He was coming at us and we was yelling for y'all." "Y'all were right over there, but nobody came." "So Kelly grabbed a rib off her plate and she threw it at him." "He was our best friend after that, you know?" "You know how I was always happy for Kelly that she got to be with Lucille." "I mean..." "I think she could be a bitch sometimes... but she kept her straight." "You know what I'm saying?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I know." "I really do." "Listen, Amare, I want you to come home with me, okay?" "Come on." "Let's get out of here." "I got a room set up for you and everything." "I appreciate the thought, but I'm cool here." "It ain't cool." "You can't stay out here, baby." "You know your sister's the one who told me you was out here, right?" "She wants you to come home with me too." "That's a lie." "If she cared about me, she'd come down here herself." "I'll be right back, okay?" "Just stay right here." "I'm coming right back." "Watch him." "Damn elevator." "Tanya!" "Tanya, open up the door!" "Open the door!" "Your brother's outside dying!" "Tanya, open up this door, I know you hear me!" "I know you fucking hear me!" "Open up this fucking door!" "Fuck this bullshit." "Hello?" "Yes." "I want to report attempted suicide at the Tilden Projects." "He's sitting on a bench in front of number 315." "Please send somebody quick." "Fuck." "Some fucking choice!" "Amare?" "He looks bad, Ma." "They said he has pneumonia." "He might not make it, Kelly." "Ma?" "Ma, I'm sorry about everything I said." "It's all right." "Come here." "Let me talk to you." "I need to talk to you about something." "Tonight, when I found Amare, he reminded me of a couple of things." "I know you been trying to do the same thing, but I just wasn't really trying to hear it." "I know I walk around here thinking I'm different." "You know, I'm better now." "But deep down inside" "I'm still that same old drug fiend." "I'm still scheming." "But only this time it ain't for drugs." "It's for you." "What I'm trying to say is..." "I've been putting myself first, trying so hard to make you love me." "I ain't even really heard what you been trying to say to me, you know?" "Baby, just please be patient with me, 'cause I'm really trying." "And you've grown." "You've grown up to be quite a strong young woman... you know?" "I'm really proud of you and I want to respect what you need." "So, even if that means that you need to move down with your grandmother..." " I'm sorry." "...then that's what it's got to be." "Okay?" "And don't be sorry." "Just be yourself." "You're beautiful." " It's gonna be all right." " Okay." "Each month we come up here and we celebrate people that have passed." "But today, I just wanted to talk a little bit about those who are still with us." "You know, day by day we struggle, and not only with the virus." "We struggle with the government, we struggle with those who judge us, we struggle with those who ignore us, who fear us." "We even struggle with those we love... and those who love us." "So, today we give thanks for all those who stand alongside us... our families and friends... doctors, nurses, just everyone that... helps give us the strength and courage to carry on." "Each month we come up here and we release these balloons in honor of those we lost." "And we do it with love, with sorrow, and with the hope that one day they'll find a cure for this virus." "This is for Deyah Kingston." "Christopher." " For Amare's parents." " Viv and Trey." "Amare." "Colleen." "Edna." "Amy." "Lawrence." "Maria."