"(GRUNTING)" "(ORCHESTRA PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)" "NATHAN:" "I first started having them when I was a teenager," "and, you know, it's..." "It bothered me." "Mmm." "It did?" "Well, sure." "Well, I had dreams like other guys." "Girls and pitching in the World Series and..." "But I was always in my undershorts." "Well, it's not uncommon." "You have dreams about conducting a symphony orchestra in your undershorts?" "This isn't about me." "(SIGHING)" "Sometimes they reoccur, and that's uncomfortable." "Well, it's understandable." "You're a captain." "Captain Boxer Shorts?" "I hate this." "What, Jai alai?" "No, being a "B."" "A bee?" ""Bee" as in what?" ""Bee" as in "bumble"?" "As in "book report." When I was in school," "I always had to give mine first." "Right after Adelson and Annatelli was Brody." "COMPUTER:" "Exchange input." "That's third." "Yeah, well, it felt like first." "Dr. Smith is just updating the crew's psychological profiles, Jim." "It's not like you're gonna remember that you killed the paperboy or something." "That's easy for you to say." "I mean, you're a Wolenczak, a "W." By that time, the teachers were asleep." "I mean, why do we have to do this, lay on the couch like some loon?" "I mean, talk therapy went out with group sharing and past-life recollections." "Yeah, you know, I think I was..." "COMPUTER:" "Player one eliminated." "...Fred Flintstone in a past life." "You can't be a cartoon in a past life." "It's like the movies." "It'd be like saying you were Johnny Depp in a past life." "Yeah, you know, I might have been, though, actually, because I remember I had an awful lot of girlfriends." "He's still alive, genius." "But I know I was a caveman." "We were all cavemen." "I mean, this stuff goes in our file." "It's serious." "Not if you've got nothing to hide." "I've got nothing to hide." "I just don't like remembering stuff I've been trying to forget." "Guy's in serious denial." "I think this guy needs to see a shrink." "Hey." "Okay, we all have to do this." "What are you looking at?" "Nothing." "You're next, Lucas." "Uh, Doctor, whatever happened to the "B's"?" "Well, we'll talk about them along with the birds." "How does that sound?" "Embarrassing." "Would you tell Dagwood he's next?" "I didn't know he had to do this." "He's a GELF." "I gave him the day off." "(GROWLING)" "I have discovered the great ray that first brought life into the world." "At first, I experimented only with dead animals and then a human heart, which I kept beating for three weeks," "but now I'm going to turn that ray on that body and endow it with life." "And you really believe that you can bring life to the dead?" "That body is not dead." "(CROWD SHOUTING ON TV)" "(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)" "Are you my father?" "Let me look at you." "Are you my father?" "In the biblical sense, no." "I'm afraid we have put away the Bible." "Who is my father?" "Need someone to take you fishing, do you?" "Tell you the facts of life?" "There are no facts of life." "There is only fiction." "But I am the closest thing you have to a father." "I made you." "It looks like you've turned into a fine young man." "No, I haven't." "You're too hard on yourself, son." "You have blood and bone and muscle." "You have a brain." "But I don't have a heart." "You have a heart, son, but I'm afraid it beats as black as mine." "(PANTING)" "NUN: 29, 50, 23!" "Hut!" "Hut!" "It always ended the same way." "I never scored the touchdown." "I always dropped the ball." "It was..." "It's like I'm underwater, like I can't..." "I can't move fast enough." "Often, that can mean one is frustrated over some issue." "No, I'm hardly frustrated, Doctor." "You never wanted to play football?" "No, my father wanted me to play football." "He was the one who was frustrated." "He kept harping on it." ""Take advantage of your God-given talents."" "I wanted to go to the Naval Academy." "It was so..." "Frustrating?" "Okay." "Okay, but he didn't want me to play against nuns." "We weren't even Catholic." "Captain, this is a private session." "Dag has been arrested for murder." "(SCREAMING)" "Wilhelm Brown was to be 53 this March, but he will not be celebrating that birthday." "The good doctor won't be able to sit out on his front porch and reflect on an esteemed career in genetics." "He won't be able to play golf, make love or laugh." "Doctor Brown is dead." "DNA samples taken from the scene match the suspect exactly." "Skin cells and the fingerprints, perfectly." "We have all watched the security video from the victim's home." "It was not a computer generation." "So you have all seen the murderer, ladies and gentlemen, and he sits in this room." "An unfortunate man?" "Maybe." "Maybe you don't even believe he is really a man." "He's an Alpha Model K, created, coincidentally enough, by the deceased." "Was this an act of revenge?" "Maybe." "But it doesn't matter." "All that matters is an innocent man is dead, and another man killed him, an Alpha Model K, but, man or monster," "he must pay." "Dagwood, you have to take the stand." "Okay, David." "Thank God." "Where should I take it?" "Dagwood, if you didn't do it, now is the time to say that." "I didn't do it." "No, not to me, to the jury." "Why?" "Because they think you did it." "But I didn't." "Then who did do it?" "The man on the wall picture." "The man on the wall picture is you, Dagwood." "I know." "How does it do that?" "This is ridiculous." "Do you think Dagwood did it, sir, Captain?" "I don't know." "I do." "I didn't." "You have to remember where you were the night the man was killed." "No one told me I had to remember." "I would've remembered if you told me to remember, sir, Captain." "Why do people wear these?" "Supposed to make us look better." "Does Dagwood look better?" "You look fine." "Mmm, good." "Will the defendant please stand?" "We have found the defendant guilty of murder in the first degree." "Thank you." "(PEOPLE MURMURING)" "Would the defendant care to address the court before sentencing?" "DAGWOOD:" "A dress?" "It's a suit." "Would you like to say something?" "Yes." "Then say it." "Stand up." "The man on the wall picture who killed the man is not the same man that I am here in front of you now." "That man is a different man." "You've changed?" "No." "Then what are you saying?" "Dagwood is saying that I am a different man." "Yes, I'm afraid you are, and this court has no recourse but to incarcerate you for the remainder of your natural life in the UEO Prison for the Criminally Insane." "Is that a long time?" "It's not fair." "It just isn't fair." "Oh, come on, Lucas, he killed a man." "They got it on tape." "But he wouldn't do that." "Hey, maybe Dagwood blew some kind of genetic fuse in his head." "I mean, the guy's, like, been using this fake brain." "It's not fake, Tony." "It's genetically engineered." "Piccolo, I thought you liked Dagwood." "I do, but if Dagwood was a new car, come on, he'd have been recalled to the dealer." "I don't believe it, either, Lucas." "It doesn't matter." "Dagwood's going to the House of Many Doors for life." "Life?" "How can they even sentence him to life?" "They don't even know how long an Alpha Model K will live." "He stops breathing, they let him out." "DAGWOOD:" "Sixty hundred and seventy-six, sixty hundred and seventy-seven, sixty hundred and seventy-nine, sixty hundred and seventy-ten, sixty hundred and seventy-one, sixty hundred and seventy-two." "And seventy-two." "There are sixty hundred and seventy-two dots on each square on the ceiling." "Dagwood is learning to count to learn how long to be criminally insane." "Why is it like that?" "It's called justice." "A man has been killed, and this is the way society demands that the debt be paid." "No, why are there sixty hundred and seventy-two dots on the ceiling squares?" "Do you know what a jail is?" "Dagwood has always been in jail." "This one just keeps people behind bars." "Mine just keeps me different, but it's the same jail." "Said prisoner must be in the custody of military police escorts at all times." "Prisoner is allowed two meals at nutritional standards." "Prisoner is allowed access to toilet facilities twice daily in the direct supervision of transport chaperone." "Prisoner is not allowed to recreate, procreate, engage in sex, drive, attend public gatherings, gamble, smoke, or drink alcohol." "Clear?" "We know how this works." "Don't matter." "This ape takes a hike on you, it's my ass." "He's not an ape." "He's a Dagger, so don't take him to a gin mill." "Scares the drunks." "He's not an animal." "Convicted murderer." "It's my job to pack 'em up." "He's your crewmate." "It's your job to take him." "You got 24 hours to do just that." "MAN ON PA:" "Holding barrier disengaged." "Prisoner coming through." "Hi, Jim." "Hi, Jonathan." "I don't want to sit down, okay?" "I want to stand." "Standing is what I want to do." "You might be more comfortable." "Comfortable?" "(SCOFFING)" "I..." "I don't want to be comfortable." "What is this "comfortable" stuff?" "I mean, Dagwood is going to jail, and you want me to talk about whether or not I ever wet the bed?" "Well, I didn't, okay?" "My parents are divorced, and when it came to denial, my mother was the riverboat queen." "So can I go now, Doctor?" "I know you're upset, Lucas." "Upset?" "No." "No, try angry because nobody seems to care that an innocent guy, one of our crew, is going to jail for a crime he didn't even commit." "In light of the evidence, that's hard to believe." "Look, lots of things are hard to believe, but it's our job as scientists not to go with the easy answers." "I mean, if we did that, we'd all have polio." "When something this tragic happens, when someone you know does something terrible, horribly unpredictable, it can be very frightening." "Some of us might be afraid that we could lose the same kind of control, do the same kind of thing." "Don't get carried away, Doctor." "I mean, in the first grade, I punched out Dwight Herman for stealing a cardboard Santa Claus," "but he had it coming." "(DOORS CLOSE)" "(SIGHING)" "(MUSIC TINKLING)" "(TRUCK BEEPING)" "That was once." "Dagwood has to go twice, right?" "Well, you can go as many times as you want, buddy." "Hmm." "What if I don't have to?" "Well, that's okay, too." "Dagwood!" "Stop!" "Don't!" "Thank you, mister." "You're welcome." "Dagwood, if you're gonna do something like that, you gotta let me know." "Sorry." "Hey, mister, why are you like that?" "They think I'm bad." "Are you?" "No." "Are you?" "Uh-uh." "Know what I can do?" "Uh-uh." "I can do this." "Know what I can do?" "Uh-uh." "I can do this." "Don't do that, mister." "It's okay." "I didn't know I could." "It feels good." "Don't you ever talk to someone like that!" "Do you hear me?" "Do you?" "Ever!" "It's all right, ma'am." "I saw that monster on television." "Don't you tell me it's all right!" "I think she liked me." "This duty sucks." "Yeah, tell me about it." "He didn't do it, did he?" "Darwin doesn't know." "(SIGHING)" "If he didn't do it, who did?" "Darwin different." "Dagwood different." "Sometimes different Darwins." "Sometimes different Dagwoods." "MAN ON PA:" "All guards must have ID transponders engaged at all times." "I'd only heard about this place." "Yeah." "But I didn't think it was gonna be this bad." "It looks like hell." "Is this where Dagwood is going to live now?" "I can't do this, man." "Not now." "Not yet." "MAN ON PA:" "Prisoner transfer in progress, section five." "Guy's never had a life, Jim." "I know." "You know, we aren't due in till tomorrow." "You're the officer in charge." "Dagwood, is there anything you've ever really wanted to do?" "No." "Nothing?" "Nothing is something that Dagwood has already done." "I bet you've never been on a Ferris wheel." "What is "Ferris wheel"?" "Hey, sorry, pal." "He can't go on." "You're open, right?" "Just about." "The rainbow with the handcuffs can't get on." "Come on, pal." "Why not?" "Can't ride the rides in leg irons and handcuffs." "Says so in the manual." "Could you make an exception?" "What happens if I get a systems failure?" "He's got to climb off." "Hanging upside down like some banana, fire department's here, medics." "Then what?" "What if I remove the handcuffs?" "What is this, poker?" "Can I trust you?" "Yes." "That's that killer guy I saw on TV, right?" "Yeah." "You wouldn't think they'd like Ferris wheels, would you?" "(CHEWING LOUDLY)" "The gentleman might find lobster more to his liking if he were to take it out of the shell." "You ought to see this guy rotate tires." "Doesn't even need a jack." "That's it." "That's it." "Just go easy." "Go easy." "Dagwood is driving." "Yeah, sort of." "Okay, now step on the brake." "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "The brake!" "That's not the brake!" "You said it was the brake." "No, the brake's in the middle." "That's the gas!" "Where's the middle?" "It's the one between the other things!" "Other things?" "No!" "Fun." "Wait till you try it on the street." "(SIGHING)" "I'm not in the charity business." "You want that, go to Social Services." "Just a dance, okay?" "The guy's never even danced with a girl before." "(SCOFFING)" "What's wrong with him?" "Nothing." "Well, not really." ""Not really" doesn't sound like nothing to me." "Ask Sheila." "She likes to dance." "Sheila." "Uh-uh." "No way, honey." "Oh, come on." "Just a dance." "Sorry, no Daggers." "It's okay, you know, not dancing." "The other things were very nice." "Thank you." "You're welcome, Dagwood." "This stinks." "He's going to the can forever, and he's never even been kissed." "Maybe Dagwood will get kissed in the can." "Count on it." "You know, we have to turn him over at dawn." "Which gives us about six hours." "You know, I know of this one girl that just might, well..." "Who?" "(CLEARING THROAT)" "Hello, Dagwood." "Oh." "I thought this was the place for dancing." "It is." "What are you doing here?" "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)" "(WOMAN SCREAMING)" "MAN 1:" "Get down!" "Stay away!" "MAN 2:" "Get out of here!" "Hey!" "MAN 1:" "Somebody stop him!" "Do something!" "WOMAN:" "He's crazy!" "Let's get out of here!" "POLICEMAN O VER SPEAKER:" "Pull over!" "Pull over to the side immediately!" "It's that Dagger!" "Shoot out the tires!" "Dagwood?" "Oh, God." "Dagwood!" "Ford, Brody, wake up!" "He's gone!" "Who?" "Dagwood." "He's gone?" "What happened?" "I fell asleep." "You fell asleep?" "Oh, we were dancing, and then..." "I fell asleep." "Dancing, like you said." "That was it, okay?" "Oh, man." "Where the hell is he?" "That's him, the killer!" "It's the Dagger!" "Commander, I don't want to hear how it happened." "I want to know why it happened." "I mean, he was in your charge, and rightly or wrongly, a prisoner." "I know, sir." "I'm sorry." "It was a mistake." "But Dagwood's never had a life, and we thought..." "And you thought what?" "Well, we thought we'd give him one, even if it was only for a night." "Yeah, well, you gave him one." "(PANTING)" "WEND Y:" "He didn't do it, Nathan." "Why do you think that?" "Well, I did a scan on Dagwood, and the only thing I got was a frightened child." "Frightened children don't kill people." "I wish that that were true." "The GELF identified as the escapee convicted of murdering Dr. Wilhelm Brown, formerly one of the world's leading genetic engineers, attacked the diner's patrons early this morning." "Authorities have advised the suspect is extremely dangerous, and a statewide shoot-on-sight order has been issued." "MAN ON TV:" "Police are urging all local residents to stay in their homes tonight, although they..." "Remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember..." "Dagwood remembers." "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "Come in." "I'm sorry, sir." "Lucas is missing." "Don't tell me this." "He was really upset about Dagwood, sir." "We think he took your motorcycle." "Dagwood." "Thank God." "Look, I know you're scared, but you've got to give yourself up." "They're gonna kill you." "Take me home." "I can't." "You've got to turn yourself in." "Take me home." "Dagwood, I'm your friend." "Take me home!" "I've got a position on your motorcycle, sir." "It's the Gen-U-Flect lab." "The place closed down about six years ago." "Get this information to Commander Ford and Brody." "Aye, aye, sir." "And, O'Neill, tell them to use whatever force is necessary." "Yes, sir." "Lucas?" "Lucas?" "No." "No, go away!" "Someone hurt Lucas?" "Leave me alone." "Lucas doesn't like Dagwood anymore?" "You almost killed me, Dagwood." "No, Lucas is my..." "Please." "Please." "...friend." "Have to go to the beginning place." "My family." "The Dagwood that is me." "Dagwood!" "Lucas, run!" "You need help!" "Only Dagwood can help Dagwood!" "Where is he?" "He's in there." "There's two of them." "Two Dagwoods?" "It was the other one that killed Dr. Brown." "Watch it!" "(SCREAMING)" "There he is." "Don't." "Which one are you?" "She taught Dagwood how to dance." "Well, you know, just a couple of steps." "Come on, Dagwood." "Let's go home." "Home." "I didn't say I didn't like Dagwood!" "I said he had a fake brain." "You don't think that's hostile?" "Hostile?" "No, hostile's like when I flatten a guy 'cause he looks at me the wrong way." "I mean, I like Dagwood." "He could use a new paint job, but, hey, some people could use a new hairdo, you know?" "Don't worry about it, Doc." "You're a heartbreaker." "Gee, the time flies like the wind, huh?" "Yes, it does." "And fruit flies like bananas." "So we don't want to bill Uncle Sam overtime on account of this brain, right?" "See you." "Next!" "Okay, when I was 11, I stole my uncle's coin collection, but I was only 11 years old, you know?" "I mean, I knew it was wrong, but I really wanted to buy some comic books, and, well, something came over me, and..." "Lieutenant Brody." "What?" "We don't do this lying down anymore." "I knew that." "Is this for me?" "Makes people look better." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Dagwood?" "Why did you run away that night?" "Before, Dagwood didn't have a life, but then he did." "I wanted to keep it." "Dagwood has been kissed." "Hi, I'm Edward Kerr, and I'm here with some of the ocean's most elegant and misunderstood sea animals, the stingray." "With their flexible cartilage body, stingrays are close relatives to the shark, but unlike sharks, they have no real teeth, and only a long barbed tail for defense." "Stingrays often bury themselves in sand and sit in shallow water." "To keep from stepping on a stingray, drag your feet as you walk in the ocean." "This is called the Stingray Shuffle, and it may help you avoid accidental contact with these beautiful sea animals." "See you on our next adventure of seaQuest."