"(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "(theme song ending)" "Good morning, Lucy." "Lucy!" "(screams)" "Good morning." "Shh!" "Ricky's still asleep." "What's on your mind, Ethel?" "Oh, nothing." "You want to borrow something?" "Eggs, sugar, flour?" "No, thanks." "Are you sure there's nothing on your mind?" "No, not a thing." "How about a cup of coffee?" "No, thanks." "Well, I must say you're taking it calmly." "How's that?" "I said I must say you're taking it calmly." "Now it comes." "What's on your mind, Ethel?" "Look, honey, you don't have to pretend with me." "I come to you this morning not just as a landlady, not just as a friend, but as a shoulder on which to weep in this time of crisis." "Well." "I think you've been twisting those curlers too tight." "Oh, honey, you're wonderful." "It's not every wife who can keep her sense of humor when her husband's running around with another woman." "Oh, Ethel." "Ha, ha, ha!" "Where'd you ever get an idea like that?" "What do you mean another woman?" "Have you seen this morning's paper?" "No." "Oh, well, I'm not going to be the one to show it to you." "Oh, you're not?" "Page eight, column two." "'What Cuban bandleader with the initials R.R." ""is making cat's eyes at his dancing mouse?" ""There's more going on during that floor show than the script calls for."" "(laughing incredulously)" "Oh, Ethel, that's just a publicity story." "It is, huh?" "Sure." "Ricky's press agent put that in." "He did, huh?" "Certainly." "He has to keep Ricky's name before the public." "He does, huh?" "Ricky doesn't care anything about that new dancer of his." "Ha!" "What's she like?" "Rosemary?" "Oh, she's a brunette and she has a wonderful figure and she's... young and... quite pretty." "Oh, Ethel, it's just a publicity story." "Ricky is trustworthy, fine, honest and loyal." "Well, if he was brave, clean and thrifty he'd be a Boy Scout." "A cat's eye patrol, of course." "All right, Ethel, that's enough." "(banging on floor)" "I'll be right down, Fred!" "Look, honey, don't let this get you down." "Ethel, I love Ricky." "He's the most wonderful husband in the world, and I trust him implicitly." "You just keep saying that." "Ricky, it's time to get up, dear." "Time to get up, Ricky." "Hi, honey." "Are you awake, dear?" "Mm-hmm." "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Hey, what's that for?" "That's for being a big two-timer, you... you Cuban heel." "What?" "Open your big cat's eyes and read this." "Hey, cut it out!" "Honey, honey, cut it out!" "Honey, come on, now." "Cut it out." "That's just a publicity story." "It is, huh?" "Sure, my press agent put that in." "He did, huh?" "Well, he has to keep my name in front of the public." "He does, huh?" "Why, honey, I don't care anything about that new dancer." "Ha!" "Oh, honey." "You can trust me." "I can, huh?" "Why, sure." "I'm as faithful as an old dog." "Yeah, old Rover." "Oh, Lucy, you know," "I don't love anyone else but you." "There's nothing between Rosemary and me, honey." "Cross your heart?" "Well, I think I have a better way to convince you." "Did that convince you?" "What were we talking about?" "I don't know." " Oh, Rosemary." " Oh." "Honey, now, you got to get used to those kind of stories." "You know, they're going to keep showing up as long as I'm in show business." " Well. .." " Look, honey, why don't you come down to the club and see for yourself." "Oh, no, that's not necessary." "Well, if there's any doubt in your mind at all..." "No, no." "None whatsoever." "Come on, honey, you've got to get dressed." "You'll be late for rehearsal." "Okay, Rosemary." "What?" "!" "I meant Lucy." "Yeah." "(mid-tempo music playing)" "(people chatting animatedly)" "All right, all right, break it up, break it up." "We have to go through the whole Saturday night show." "Come on." "Let's break it up." "(band members grumble)" "You're always squawking about something." "Come on, will you?" "We got a lot of work to do today." "Playing cards, arguing about the salary, reading the racing form..." "Where is Rosemary?" "Is she late again?" "No, no, she's getting into her costume" "for the Jezebel number." " All right." "Well, let's take a..." "let's take a letter huh?" "And please, the first fellow who acts like he's playing in his sleep is going to get traded to Phil Spitalny." "Let's do it nice." "Put a little pep into it." "Here we go." "(band snores and plays sleepily)" "All right, all right, all right, all right." "(wolf whistles)" "Hi, Ricky." "Hi." "Is this okay?" "That's great, if we don't get raided." "Listen, I want to..." "Before we start on this number," "I want to find out what happens in the first part of the dance." "You know, when you go around me in the first pan of the number, how does it go?" "Step, step, round." " And then what else?" " You go around here again?" "And then I come back here." "And then you come back and we go again?" "(ripping noise)" "Oh, no!" "Oh..." "Gee, me and my big feet." "I'm sorry, kid." "Gee, I hope I can get it fixed by the show." "Well, I tell you what-- give it to me and I'll have it fixed for you." "Oh, you're a doll." "Well, I'll go and change before this thing tears some more." " All right." "l'll be back in a minute." "All right." "Let's take something now that she's gone, will you?" "Let's take, uh, "Cumbachero," huh?" "From the top?" "All right, here we go." "(band plays)" "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "Something is wrong with that first chord there." "Wait a minute." "I've got an E-natural there, Ricky." "E-natural?" "That should be E-flat concert." "Let's try it, I think that's right." "Just the brass alone, huh?" "(brass plays an E-flat)" "That's it, that's it." "Now, everybody now." "All right?" "Here we go." "Here it is." "Oh, put it in my coat pocket, will you?" "Listen, uh, get the, uh, the Jezebel number now, when she's ready, all right?" "The Jezebel number from the top." "Everybody." "Here we go." "(dramatic music plays)" "Who is it?" "What?" "!" "Look, honey, chicken and rice." "Arroz con pollo!" " Yeah." " Oh, boy!" "What did I do to rate all this?" "Well, I'm trying to make up for being so silly this morning." " Oh, honey, forget it." " No." "I was wrong to mistrust you and I'm ashamed of myself." "Do you forgive me?" "Well, I..." "I guess so." "Of course, I was terribly hurt." "Oh." "How could you possibly think that I could look at anyone else but you?" "Oh, go on-- you didn't give it a second thought all day." "I din't, huh?" "No, you "din't."" "Listen, I couldn't think of anything else." "You know where I spent all afternoon?" "Where?" "Uh..." "I went to the park." "Oh?" "Yeah." "I went to the park and, uh..." "I sat there and, uh..." "I fed the pigeons and, uh... and, uh..." "and I brooded." "You mean you didn't even go to rehearsal?" "Uh...?" "Is that what you meant to tell me?" "Well, that's not exactly what I meant to tell you..." "Oh, honey, then you do care about me." "Of course, I do." "You were so upset, you couldn't even go to rehearsal." " That's right, honey." " Oh-ho, baby." "Honey, let's eat, would you?" "L'm hungry" "Look at all that wonderful food!" "What is this?" "What is that?" "Now, now, baby, now." "Don't "now, baby" me." "What is this?" "Oh!" "Oh, that." "Oh, well, that's, uh... that's, uh... a black-lace..." "Blue jeans?" "Now, honey..." "So this is why you didn't go to rehearsal today." "Now, wait a minute, honey." "You may have been in the park all afternoon, but you weren't feeding the pigeons." "Now, Lucy, if you just give me a chance to 'splain." "All right." "All right, I want to be fair about this." ""'Splain."" "Well, you..." "You'll have to speak louder than that." "All right, I'll tell you the truth." "Well, that'll be novel." "You haven't tried that before." "I did not go to the park this afternoon and fed the pigeons." "No." "I went to rehearsal." "Yeah." "And that's Rosemary's, uh... black-lace, uh..." "Blue jeans." "Yeah." "I tore it by mistake, so she took it off and she put it in my pocket." "Ha!" "Well, if you don't believe me, ask the boys in the band." "They were all there." "Well, that must have been a cozy gathering." "Now, look, honey, I went to rehearsal." "That's part of the costume that Rosemary wears in the Jezebel number." "I stepped on it, it tore, she took it off, she put in my pocket and I brought it home for you to fix." "Is that the truth, Ricky?" "Cross my heart." "You do believe me, don't you, honey?" "Of course, dear." "There is one other question I'd like to ask you, though." "What's that?" "Where were you this afternoon?" "!" "Now, look, honey, I told you the truth and that's the end of it." "No, it isn't." "All right, if you don't believe me, come down to the club tonight and see for yourself." "You're darn right, I will." " All right!" " All right!" " Well, good-bye." " Good-bye!" "Excuse me." "Come on in, Ethel." "I was just..." "polishing the doorknob." "I suppose you heard everything." "No, honey, not a thing." "Well, I just quarreled with Ricky." "I don't blame you." "Who does he think he is going around, tearing girls' black-lace blue jeans?" "Didn't hear a thing, huh?" "Well, I might have caught a word here and there." "You going to throw all that food out?" "Well, Ricky, doesn't want it." "Do you want some?" "Um... no, I'm not a bit hungry." "Well, I might just taste it to see how your recipe is." "(sighs)" "What's your next move, honey?" "I'm going down to that club tonight." "He's pretty clever asking you to come down to the club." " Huh?" " You're not dumb enough to fall for that, are you?" "I should say not." "Fall for what?" "You go down there tonight;" "he knows you're coming;" "he's on his good behavior;" "you're satisfied;" "you come home; and he starts playing cat and mouse again." "Why, that big stinker!" "Well, gee, what'll I do?" "You're going to call him up and tell him you're not coming down." "Yeah!" "Why?" "Because you're going to sneak in there without his knowing it and watch the floor show and see what's really going on." "Gee, that's a wonderful idea." "I'll call right now." "Oh, wait a minute." "I can't sneak into the club." "Everybody knows me down there." "That won't work." "Well, we'll think of something." "Well, what?" "I don't know, but you call him up and tell him you're not coming down." " All right." " Just leave it to me." "Okay." "Hello, this is Mrs. Ricky Ricardo." "Would you please tell Mr. Ricardo that I won't be able to come down to the club tonight?" "That's right." "Thank you." "I've got it." " What?" "Where's the best place to see what he's doing on the stage?" " Where?" " Right on the stage." "Now, he does a number with Rosemary, doesn't he?" "Yeah." "And there are dancing girls..." "Right over there is where the girls go onto the stage." "RICKY:" "Now make sure you get the girls out there in time for the Jezebel number." "And tell Bill Caine, the electrician, to be on his toes." "That's my favorite number, and I don't want it loused up." "Now, get going." "We got to hide!" "RICKY:" "Hey, wait a minute." "There's something else I want to show you in here." "(band playing dramatic intro)" "(romantic ballad begins)" "♪ Would be better had I never known ♪" "♪ A lover such as you ♪" "♪ Forsaken dreams are all for the siren call of your arms I" "♪ Like a demon love possess me you ♪" "♪ Obsess me constantly ♪" "♪ Whatever star is mine" "♪ That my fate's design should be ♪" "♪ Jezebel ♪" "♪ Jezebel... ♪" "♪ If ever a devil was born without a pair of horns ♪" "♪ It was you ♪" "♪ Jezebel ♪" "♪ It was you ♪" "♪ If ever an angel fell ♪" "♪ Jezebel ♪" "♪ It was you ♪" "♪ Jezebel ♪" "♪ It was you ♪" "♪ If ever a pair of eyes promised paradise ♪" "♪ Deceiving me, grieving me, leaving me blue ♪" "♪ Jezebel ♪" "♪ It was you ♪" "♪ If ever a pair of eyes promised paradise ♪" "♪ Deceiving me, grieving me, leaving me blue... ♪" "♪ Jezebel ♪" "♪ Jezebel... ♪" "♪ If ever the devil's plan was made to torment man ♪" "♪ It was you ♪" "♪ Night and day, every way... ♪" "♪ Jezebel ♪" "♪ Jezebel... ♪" "♪ Jezebel!" "♪" "(applause)" "(crash backstage, glass shattering)" "(crash backstage, glass shattering)" "Lucy?" "Lucy?" "Oh, did I wake you up, dear?" "Oh, that's all right." "I went to bed early." "Oh, you did?" "Yeah, about 8:30." "What time is it?" "It's about 2:30." "Oh, really?" "You know, the funniest thing happened tonight" "down at the club." " What?" "A strange girl got into the chorus line." "Oh, really?" "Yeah." "She was terrible, too." "She was real ugly." "And she had the worst figure I've ever seen." "And she didn't know any of the steps at all." "Well, how could a thing like that possibly happen, dear?" "I haven't got the slightest idea." "(screams)" "Oh, you knew it all the time." "Come here." "(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "Rosemary was played by Helen Silvers." "I Love Lucy is a Desilu production."