"What?" "What?" "My God, where are we?" "Soon be home now, Mr Meldrew" "We were a while getting out of the airport, I'm afraid, and coming through London, I took a bit of a wrong turning and we got caught up in a Nazi rally in Deptford" "It was only by telling them you were a skinhead, we got out alive" "I don't know You could write a book, couldn't you?" "What can I smell in here?" "Is it a dog?" "Ah, that'll be Trixie's sack that she sits on" "There shouldn't be any fleas on it now I had it deloused just a month ago" "Oh, talking of dogs, you know old Mr Burkitt died the other week?" "I don't know if I mentioned, his wife's looking for a home for that little cocker spaniel they had" "She was wondering if perhaps you might be interested?" "I don't think so, Mrs Warboys Thank you" "How's the travel sickness now, by the way?" "I haven't heard you retch since Basildon" "Best not to remind him of it, I think, Jean" "Oh, yeah" "I remember on my flight to Los Angeles, the man next to me, everything he'd had for dinner, the enchiladas and the refried beans" "I mean, those sick bags are never watertight at the best of times" "Right, stop the car" "Would you pull over?" "Now, please" "Still, nice to get a little break for a change" "Recharge your batteries" "Yes" "I don't think we'll be booking any more long weekends to Hamburg in a hurry" "What with Victor wandering into that brothel to post a German sausage to his brother" "That didn't do his hernia any good, believe me" "Oh, yes, when's he having it looked at?" "Tomorrow morning, his next appointment" "Looks as if they'll have to operate, which is another thing that's worrying him silly" "All out now, Mr Meldrew?" "Can we not talk about it, please?" "Just drive" "(GLASS BREAKING)" "Right, everyone I'm afraid time's getting on" "Let's have a look at how we're all doing" "And I know, because Chris had it done a few years ago" "Nowadays, Mr Meldrew, a hernia repair's one of the simplest operations there is" "The only worry is if they have to take one of your testicles away at the same time" "Is that a fact?" "Which is quite common, apparently" "But then, you can always have an artificial one put in" "When I was in Los Angeles, there was a clinic in Beverly Hills advertising them in the supermarkets" "$65 each, plus tax" "Or three for $1 50" "Yes, well, I'll just" "Three?" "Anyway, I'd better love you and leave you You'll want to get settled in" "I expect you'll both be ready for an early night" "Yes" "We'll be fine now, Jean, if you want to get along" "JEAN:" "I'll see you tomorrow, about 1 2:00 MARGARET:" "Yes, right Bye" "(EXCLAIMING)" "I thought you were going to empty this before we left" "Yeah, that's all right" "I'll just lug this upstairs on my own" "Sorry?" "You know I can't risk it, Margaret It would be asking for trouble now, wouldn't it?" "(KNOCKING)" "It was decent of her to pick us up, I'm not denying" "But one more minute of her bloody Los Angeles holiday" "If it was so wonderful, why didn't she stay there?" "There's a man living in our shed" "What?" "He just walked in here, as merry as you could please, and filled up a bottle of orange squash" "What?" "What are you doing?" "Don't stand there waving at him" "Go down there and tell him to get out" "(VICTOR STAMMERING)" "I suppose Unless you want to tell him" "How can I go down there?" "And get a garden fork in the ribs if he turns nasty?" "I suppose not" "Right" "A garden fork in the ribs?" "Just tell him to leave" "(PHONE RINGING)" "4291" "Oh, hello" "Yes, safe and sound, more or less" "How are you getting on?" "Oh, still lurching from one crisis to the next" "We've got lunch tomorrow with Patrick's new boss, which is a bit hair-raising" "We don't even know if she's gonna keep him on yet" "Well, he's hasn't been with the firm five minutes" "No, at her place, up Raven's Hill, which makes it even more of an ordeal" "I know" "Anyway, just wanted to check, we're still on for Thursday night" "Well, any time you like" "About 7:30 and eat at 8:00?" "Just when I thought we'd moved to a Meldrew-free zone" "That's great then, Margaret" "Look forward to it" "Yes, see you then, Pippa Bye" "What the hell's going on now?" "I'm taking him some biscuits" "You're what?" "He says he hasn't eaten for three days since they turfed him out of his cardboard box under the railway bridge" "What am I supposed to do?" "Poor bloke's got nowhere" "It'll be dark soon I said he could stay there at least until the morning" "Stay there till the morn" "He's not having my Boasters" "And first thing tomorrow, he's out" "And make sure he understands or I'm calling the police" "Leave it alone" "If you stand there kneading it like a lump of puff pastry, you'll make it worse" "It's gone down slightly, maybe I should cancel the appointment" "What does she want to go and tell me that for anyway?" "Something else I've got to worry about now" "What are you on about?" "It's engaged" "I mean, we don't know, do we, what these surgeons are playing at when they take your bits off" "Might just want them for conker practice" "We've got no way of telling" "Don't forget, you're gonna take the car in for its MOT on the way back" "You got everything to take?" "Filled your bottle up, nice and full?" "Yes, I have" "I've got enough of my specimens up there now to irrigate the Gobi Desert" "I'll qualify for my own sign on the gate, before long" "To Victor Meldrew's Urine Bank" "Second in size only to the Staines Reservoir" "Oh, I do not believe it" "I do not Have you seen this?" "Seen what?" "These applications to apply for an American Express card we get every couple of months" "They've only sent us three this time" "Look "Victor Meldrew", "Margaret Meldrew"" "and "The Man in the Shed"" "Don't be utterly ridiculous" "I'm not being It's here in black and white Look" ""The Man in the Shed, 1 9 Riverbank"" "Been there for three days and he's getting bloody junk mail" "I mean, how do they get hold of these things?" "Simply beggars belief" "As if the poor bloke hasn't got enough on his plate" "Oh, yes If it was up to you, he would stay there as long as he liked" "I don't suppose he chose to live on the streets, Margaret" "In there, clipping his toenails with our secateurs when I looked just now" "You give people like that an inch, and they'll take a mile" "Well, I'm getting it sorted out today, once and for all" "And you're going to be late if you don't hurry up, so, skedaddle and I'll see you later" "Right, see you then Bye" "For goodness' sake, if she starts fondling your bottom again, just grin and bear it" "You know what I mean You know, just turn the other cheek" "There'll be plenty of time to file for sexual harassment once she's renewed your contract" "Yes, well, I'll bear that in mind as I'm discussing corporate restructuring with her tongue up my nose" "Morning, Mr and Mrs Trench to see Fenella Fortune" "Oh, right Just a tick" "I'm Mrs Blanchard, the housekeeper" "How do you do?" "I think we may be a bit Ow!" "Oh, sorry" "I've just been doing the roses My hands are all thorns" "(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)" "If you want to come around the back, she's in the summer house" "Patrick, thanks for coming And Pippa, how are you?" "I'll be two seconds" "We'll eat at 1 :30, Mrs Blanchard, if that's all right?" "And if you could see to some more logs for the fire for tonight, when you have a moment" "Lovely summer house" "Isn't it a dream?" "They only finished building it two weeks ago Now I practically live in here" "Now, what I thought we'd do, Pippa, if you could do me the most enormous favour, take Uncle Louis out for a breath of fresh air" "Patrick and I can get all our boring business over and then we'll have lunch" "How does that sound?" "Do you mind?" "No, that's absolutely fine" "If you'd like to park yourself down here, Patrick" "You brought those figures along?" "Yes, yes" "Give us 20 minutes to be comfortable" "(CHAINSAW WHIRRING)" "Hello, how are we doing?" "One more breakdown on projected revenue to go, but I think that can wait till after lunch" "Fine" "Just on its way, by the look of things" "Bless her She's such a tower of strength" "Not afraid to get stuck in" "Of course, she has let the garden go a bit, lately But that'll be fine" "I've arranged for this new chap to come in part-time" "Give her a hand with the weeding and watering and what-have-you" "I can't quite remember when he's supposed to be joining us" "Mrs Blanchard, what day did we say Mr Meldrew was starting?" "Was it Thursday or Friday?" "(GLASS BREAKING)" "Thursday, I think I'll check" "Patrick, whatever's the matter?" "So, that's it, then" "I've just been sexually molested on a bed of tomatoes for nothing" "I can only assume that the Pentagon must have used him as some sort of prototype for the Patriot missile" "The man's tracking range is deadly" "He'll be doing a bit of gardening for her, that's all" "How's that gonna be a problem?" "Darling, living on the same planet as Victor Meldrew is a problem" "Like playing chess with death" "No, my fate has been sealed" "All we can do now is to sit back and wait" "(GIRLS LAUGHING)" "(INAUDIBLE)" "Uh-huh, I don't think we have, actually" "(DOOR CLOSING)" "Oh, that'll be my husband just back, so" "Unbelievable the jungle telegraph around here" "The things people try and foist on you" "Afternoon, Mr Meldrew" "What happened?" "They put you on a waiting list?" "Yes, it's just a race against time now to see whether I get a bed in the National Health Service before cockroaches take over the Earth" "And I had to leave the car in, would you believe?" "Seven jobs it needs doing on it this time" "Oh, you're joking" "Feel as if I've got a pumpkin in my underpants, having it poked around like that all morning" "I see you got shot of him, in the end" "Oh, someone called Mrs Blanchard rang, about that gardening job" "I said you'd be over there tomorrow about 1 2:00, God willing" "God willing" "Now, then, Mr Meldrew" "I brought something along for you that I thought might come in handy" "It's been knocking about my shoe polish tin but you can always have it dry-cleaned" "Oh, thank you The very thing" "Another secondhand truss" "Hello Victor Meldrew's Surgical Support Recycling Centre here" "Just to let you know we accept all forms of unwanted medical appliance" "Cast-off corsets, elasticated stockings, false arms" "If there's no one in, just stick them through the letter box We can't get enough of them" "Thank you very much" "This is going to cost a fortune" "The other thing, Mr Meldrew" "I was over at Mrs Burkitt's again, first thing" "No, thank you, Mrs Warboys" "She's still trying to find a home for that cocker spaniel" "No, thank you, Mrs Warboys" "I'd forgotten how sweet it looks" "No, thank you, Mrs Warboys" "I did say I'd ask again, just in case you'd changed your mind" "I have not changed my mind" "It would just be one more thing to worry about on top of everything else" "Will you try and get it into your head, please?" "I do not want a dog" "NICK:" "Morning, Mr Meldrew" "I see your fat pecker's nearly off, then?" "I beg your pardon?" "Squirrels again, I expect" "What the hell's this in aid of?" "Oh, yeah, yeah It's just to get a bit of sun on my Sweet Williams" "They don't seem to thrive in the shade" "You expecting a new arrival, then?" "Oh, yes Tomorrow morning, she's supposed to be bringing it round" "Very nice, too Yeah" "Yes, I thought I'd come out and nuke a few dandelions before I pop into town" "Get one or two things for Mother" "Right" "How is she?" "Not making a lot of sense at the moment, I'm afraid" "Er, she's got it into her head she's being kidnapped by aliens every night and taken to the planet Neptune" "Aliens?" "Oh, dear" "Yes, yes, says they come down about 2:00 every morning in this great big spacecraft and just whisk her off" "She said three of them are just large blobs of jelly with a kind of pulsating nucleus inside, and the other two look like Gloria Hunniford So, it's" "Still, the main thing is how much it's perked her up" "Put a real glow on her face, isn't it funny?" "Perhaps we could all do with a trip up there, what do you reckon?" "Yes, be an idea" "Anyway, while we're out here," "I've put a few bits and bobs together for you" "I think it's all pretty much the kind of stuff you're looking for" "Oh, thanks very much I'm sure that'll be" "What do you mean?" "Sorry?" "What do you mean "the kind of stuff I'm looking for"?" "The advert in the parish newsletter" "Yeah, it was Mother who spotted it first, funnily enough" "Anyway, er, I better get down to Boots before the midday rush starts on the incontinence counter" "See you around, I expect" "Yes, I expect you will" "What the hell's he given me here, for goodness' sakes?" "What in the name of sanity?" "MARGARET:" "Victor" "Has he gone stark raving mad next door?" "Victor, have you been speaking to Mrs Natwick from the Women's Bright Hour?" "Mrs who?" "She rang here yesterday to see if we had any fund-raising ideas for the Church rectory" "It was just before you got back from the hospital" "I was speaking to her and I put the phone down" "I'm sure I did" "Or did she think I was coming back to say" "Oh, God" "What is it?" "What's happened?" ""Attention, ladies," ""put those unwanted corsets and elasticated stockings to use now" ""at Victor Meldrew's Surgical Support Recycling Centre" ""1 9 Riverbank" ""False arms, legs and other body parts also welcome" ""If no reply, post them through letter box"" "(STAMMERING)" "Do you mean that when I picked up that phone, there was someone on the other" "Five thousand homes that will have gone out to by now" "Victor, what have you done?" "(WIND HOWLING)" "(DOG BARKING)" "Mr Swainey's mother's being kidnapped every night by aliens from the planet Neptune" "Must be good for a few Air Miles" "Yes, I dare say" "What's that supposed to mean?" "Sorry?" ""I dare say"" "We don't know, do we, what goes on" "We hear such stories Suppose we can't be totally alone in the universe" "Wouldn't make sense" "Yes, it's hard to imagine a race of super-intelligent beings hurtling across the solar system every night to get a batty old woman out of bed" "Mind you, you can hardly blame her for wanting to escape from everything down here" "He said, whoever they were, they put a real glow on her face" "They can come put one on mine when they're finished" "The way things have been going the last few days," "I don't suppose there's much chance of that" "Good night, then" "Yes" "MARGARET:" "Night-night" "(CAT MEOWING)" "You're off shortly?" "Thought I'd take a few bits and pieces with me, show some initiative" "It might lead to something more permanent" "I wonder where she is She did say 1 0:30" "Got yapping I expect and forgotten what" "(GASPING)" "Good God!" "When did you buy all this?" "She's bringing a cocker spaniel, not 1 01 Dalmatians" "Well, it's only two weeks' supply I thought we'd better stock up" "(DOORBELL RINGING)" "Ah" "MARGARET:" "Morning JEAN:" "Morning" "I'm sorry I'm a bit late" "I got chatting with Mrs Burkitt about this show I'd seen at Pantages Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard, and lost all track of time" "Good morning, Mr Meldrew You well?" "I'll just set him down here" "Oh, right Oh, hang on" "I think I left the back door open Just in case he makes a bolt for it" "There we are" "Where would you like me to put him?" "Tell me this is just a joke" "Sorry, Mr Meldrew?" "What the bloody hell's this?" "It's Mr Burkitt's dog, Nippy" "Nippy?" "Doesn't look very nippy from where I'm standing" "You never said it was stuffed" "Didn't I?" "No, you did not" "Are you sure?" "I think I'd have remembered" "Why would you want a dead dog that hadn't been stuffed?" "It would look awful" "I don't want a dead dog" "Why in the name of all that's holy would I want a dead dog?" "So I can throw it across the room on elastic and shout, "Here, boy!"?" "I just spent a £1 30 building a kennel out there" "Why didn't you tell me it was dead?" "I thought everyone knew about Nippy" "He was Mr Burkitt's pride and joy, and when he died, he couldn't bear to part with him so he had him mounted" "Everyone in the street knew that" "Well, I didn't" "Well, I'm sorry" "I'm not psychic, am I?" "Don't bring me into the discussion" "So, that's it, then" "How am I supposed to take it for walks?" "Nail him to a skateboard?" "I've never heard of anything so unutterably stupid" "I can't Oh, God" "Mr Swainey, what is it?" "It's Mother She's gone" "Gone where?" "In the middle of the night, just vanished" "And something else that's weird Oh, I don't know" "What?" "On the front lawn, these strange scorch marks" "Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear" "MARGARET:" "Oh, God!" "What a nightmare" "There's no sign of her in the streets or anywhere round here We must have walked miles" "And then, when we got to the police station, there was only one desk sergeant on duty" "We had to wait three hours to see someone" "And the traffic coming back" "Poor man's out of his mind with worry, as you can imagine, and we're going to be late for Patrick and Pippa's, and I'll just have to go as I am" "Yes, I was just about to leave without you" "(CHUCKLING) Dear, oh, dear" "Another collection of oddities" "Can you believe someone posted a glass eye through the door earlier on?" "You never know what's going to come next" "You had a good day, then?" "Doing that woman's garden?" "Bit of good fresh country air, Margaret I feel ready for anything" "Well, I look a wreck" "You've never looked lovelier" "Now, chop, chop" "We mustn't keep them waiting, I'll get the wine" "Oh, God!" "Look, it's 7:30!" "That's when we said we'd be there" "Where Where are my other shoes?" "Talk about your whole life flashing before you" "I suppose it was too much to hope I'd seen the last of this place" "The house of hell" "Will you try and make the effort?" "Just for one evening?" "Stop being so negative about them all the time It's getting right on my wick" "Well, go on Ring the bell" "MARGARET:" "Oh, who the bloody hell is that?" "Margaret, we'renot too early, I hope?" "Oh, God How did we get this wrong?" "For goodness' sake, go in there and talk to them" "I will in just a tick when I've got this open Everything's under control" "Well, nice to see they've made the effort" "As always" "I'd imagine Salvador Dali feeling at home in this house" "That stuffed dog with a truss over its head in the downstairs toilet, for example," "I think he'd find particularly restful" "Now, what do you suppose I'd find if I opened this ring box?" "A ring?" "Not even warm" "(LAUGHING) It's all a bit topsy-turvy, I'm afraid, tonight" "Margaret's been out for most of the day with Mr Swainey from next door whose mother's gone missing, I'm afraid" "Oh, dear Poor soul" "So, it's all been a bit of a rush But not to worry" "We'll just have a nice wee drink now, and catch up on things" "And, oh, incidentally, thanks very much for the other day recommending me for that gardening job" "It's worked out rather well, actually" "I was over today making a start and things and she's asked me if I can pop back tomorrow, and maybe have a go at some of the other" "(DISHES BANGING)" "MARGARET:" "Victor!" "I'll be back in a second" "I couldn't help it It just slipped out" "When she rang up last week to confirm that lunch, we got chatting and she said could I recommend someone suitable" "Someone who is retired maybe, who could do with a little part-time job" "And you suggested Victor Meldrew?" "You heard what he said It's all working out really well" "For goodness' sake, stop worrying" "Nothing's going to happen Victor" "Victor?" "Victor?" "Victor?" "Victor?" "(DOOR OPENING)" "Victor?" "Where the hell have you been to?" "Hmm?" "It's 20 past three" "Can't quite remember where I have been" "Here and there" "Couldn't get to sleep for some reason, I just kept lying there wide awake, so I thought I'd go for a walk" "Beautiful night out there, Margaret I've never seen the stars so bright" "I'm feeling a little bit drowsy now, though" "I suppose I ought to get a couple of hours in Another long day ahead of me" "Want to be at my best" "Well, you don't have to make a special effort, Jean But if you" "(DOOR CLOSING)" "Right No, no" "That's fine I look forward to it Bye" "I wouldn't hurry back tonight, if I were you" "She's bringing her Hollywood slides over at lunch time, all 360 of them" "Oh, that's a shame I'd liked to have seen those" "Look at that Amazing" "The suction power of this snail" "I bet if I took my hand away" "Oopsy-daisy" "(SHRIEKING) Leave it!" "Please, just go, if you're going" "Sorry about that" "Bye, then" "Bye" "(KNOCKING)" "Come in" "NICK:" "Mrs Meldrew" "Mind your feet Glass everywhere" "How are you today?" "Still no news, presumably" "Yeah, that's just it She's back" "I came down this morning and there she was, sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea, large as life" "What?" "Did she say where she'd been?" "Jupiter" "Well, to be accurate, one of its 1 2 moons, Ganymede" "Said she liked it up there so much, she decided to stay on for a day" "I mean, it's part of the condition, they just go wandering off" "I suppose we'll never know where she really did get to, but the main thing is, she's back" "You all right this morning?" "Oh" "I don't know what to think about anything any more, Mr Swainey" "All this business with your mother and now" "Victor's been acting in a very odd way" "How do you mean odd?" "I don't know how to describe it" "Cheerful" "Oh, crikey" "I don't know He seems to have more life, more energy" "And something you said about a glow to his face" "(STAMMERING)" "I just keep thinking about that film where all the old people got younger when" "I know, I'm just being barmy, but" "Last night, there was this light outside the window" "And those scorch marks on your grass" "Something very strange is happening" "I just wish I could get to the bottom of it" "Sorry Really sorry about the time" "There was a flock of sheep crossing the road just as you come into the village, up there by the bend" "It took forever to get the" "No problem Let's try harder next time, okay?" "Right" "Everyone else is here" "Andre and Tom just got in from New York, who I really want you to meet" "We can throw a few things around, make sure we're all pulling in the same direction" "(WIND CHIMES TINKLING)" "Patrick" "Yes Sorry" "Lots of ground to cover" "Come on" "Now, that was an interesting day" "You never imagine you'll get to see all these people in the flesh" "Oh, by coincidence, there was a film of his on TV the night before" "Now, this one" "Oh, yes, yes This one was in New York where we stopped over for a couple of days on our way back" "(DOORBELL RINGING)" "Who could that be, I wonder?" "Mrs Meldrew?" "Detective Inspector Roy Millichope CID" "Could I, erm, come in for a moment?" "It's Victor, isn't it?" "What's happened to him?" "Oh, no, it's nothing like that, Mrs Meldrew There's nothing for you to worry about" "I understand a couple of days ago you found a man living in your shed?" "What are you looking for?" "I gather he passed himself off to your husband as some sort of vagrant with nowhere else to live" "Well, that wasn't quite the whole story" "I'm afraid he was on the run, Mrs Meldrew" "Just over a week ago, we thought we had him cornered round the back of Beach Hill Shopping Centre, but he managed to slip the net somehow" "Couldn't find him for love nor money Reason being, he'd gone to ground in here" "No sign of the house owners for a few days" "Seemed a nice little hidy-hole till things blew over" "Now, the constable that escorted him off the premises didn't realise" "Put him in a cell to cool off" "Of course, as soon as we recognised him, it all made sense" "This must be the place he stashed the merchandise, hoping he could come back and get it later" "Merchandise?" "What sort of merchandise?" "Something valuable?" "Well, it's certainly not what you call cheap" "We're talking a street value of £1 00,000 a kilo" "Hi" "Ah" "How's it all going up there at the big pow-wow?" "Oh, yes Just got their lunch on and set the table, if you need a hand with anything down here for the next hour" "Well, I was just about to feed the rest of those roses I didn't get round to yesterday" "Well, why don't I do that?" "You can get on with the other" "Right Okey-dokey" "(SNEEZING)" "Bless you" "Bless you" "(LAUGHING)" "(CHUCKLING)" "And you're certain he took these with him when he went?" "Yes I don't think this woman's exactly well stocked up with her own" "What is it?" "So, when he was all bright-eyed and couldn't get to slee" "Oh, God" "Inspector, I think you'd better get over there now" "I've got a horrible feeling that's where you'll find what you're looking for" "(CAR ENGINE SPUTTERING)" "Oh, for crying out loud" "You ever had one them mornings?" "I'll have to radio for help now" "By that time, anything could have happened" "Come on, I'll run you up there" "MARGARET:" "Are you sure?" "Shouldn't take more than 1 5 minutes if we hurry" "(PHONE RINGING)" "4291" "Yes Sorry, who?" "Oh!" "No, one of your men was just here" "He searched right through the shed and couldn't" "You're not serious?" "Escaped when?" "Well, I mean, he just came to the door, said he was a Detective Inspector with the CID, and could he come" "Well, I Well, I mean, without that beard and hair and everything, he looked like a different man" "A friend of mine has just given him a lift in her car" "So what are you telling me?" "When you say dangerous, how dangerous exactly?" "I mean, I don't know if you've ever been to Los Angeles" "It's such a city of contrasts" "Someone said the Americans and British are divided by a common language" "I think that's so true" "On our first week there, we booked into this lovely little motel in Santa Monica, and they gave us a room on the first floor" "Well, of course, we lugged all our suitcases and belongings up a flight of steps for nothing" "Because in America, the first floor is the ground floor, and our first floor they call the second floor" "And then, I met this gentleman one day in JCPenney's" "Oh, that's one of their big department stores" "Who said he was a vet from Vietnam" "So, of course, I started telling him all about my dog, Trixie" "Stop the car and get out" "Now" "(SCREAMING)" "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "(WHIMPERING)" "(MOANING)" "Someone should tell you, you're really tedious company!" "(MUFFLED CRYING)" "(DOG PANTING)" "Horace" "(JEAN WHIMPERING)" "Stop that now" "♪ Hey, Mr Tambourine Man" "♪ Play a song for me" "♪ I'm not sleepy And there ain't no place I'm going to" "♪ Hey, Mr Tambourine Man" "♪ Play a song for me" "♪ In the jingle jangle morning I'll come following you ♪" "Are you okay?" "Absolutely, my dear" "Have you ever driven one of those before?" "Never in my life" "Obviously, in the process of reintegration and streamlining, there will be some casualties" "But for today, I thought we'd just interact for a few hours, see if we're all at the same speed, and that way make sure no one's on board who shouldn't be on board" "Delegation is at the very core of good management" "And that means right down the line" "The staff I select for my team will be those who demonstrate" "key personnel" "♪ Hey, Mr Tambourine Man" "♪ Play a song for me" "♪ In the jingle jangle ♪ those who can detect and exploit the strengths of others, but also, and this is even more important, identify potential problem areas that could prove disastrous" "VICTOR:" "I think I've gone a bit skew-whiff here!" "(WHOOPING)" "(VICTOR LAUGHING)" "Not the summer house Please, not my new summer house" "It's all right I think I got the hang of it now" "I'm sorry, I didn't actually see who did it" "It was Horace who found her" "I think it must have been the scent of her dog on the sack, because I am afraid he got rather carried away" "And your name and address, madam?" "(DOG PANTING)" "Okey-dokey, everyone" "How are we getting on today?" "Did we find something nice to draw?" "(SNIFFING)" "Maybe I should have them both off and be done with it" "At least it will stop me from dropping one every time I get a new job" "One of Ronnie and Mildred's Christmas presents is starting to smell" "Which year?" "1 993 What do you suppose it is?" "I shudder to think" "Might throw that one out in the morning" "How does your head feel now?" "(GROANS)" "Like two men pulling a piece of barbed wire backwards and forwards through my ears" "How people work in advertising, I'll never know" "Must have steel-plated nostrils" "MARGARET:" "Yes" "(CHUCKLING)" "You know, it's been a funny old couple of days all in all" "Funny?" "When you came back like that last night, I almost thought" "Well, I don't know what I thought" "Doesn't take much to get your imagination going" "And then afterwards, when it's all been explained, you feel such an idiot" "I mean, all that to-do about his front lawn" "I told you, it was the stuff he was putting on his dandelions, probably forgot to dilute it" "Oh, and I bumped into Mrs Aylesbury opposite again this afternoon" "Hmm?" "Said those new security floodlights have been fixed now" "It was a loose connection or something, kept making them flicker like that" "That's the trouble with those things, you know" "Every time a cat or a dog walks across, it just sets them off" "Still, with crime the way it is" "I wonder where she really did get to, next door" "All that time yesterday" "Awful to think she'll never be able to tell us" "You think we'll get like that one day?" "Yes And the sooner the better" "What's the point of being sane when the entire world's completely mad?" "What you don't know anything about can't worry you" "Now, can you put the light out, please?" "It's hurting my eyes" "Oh, sorry" "Bit better?" "You'll sleep well tonight, put it all behind you, and tomorrow will be another day" "Night, night Sweet dreams" "(DOG BARKING)" "(CAT MEOWING)" "Oh, God!" "(MR TAMBOURINE MAN BY THE BYRDS PLAYING)"