"It's a boy!" "A prince is born!" "Long live the Prince of Wales!" "Sit up and drink hearty." "The only cost of a tankard is that it's drunk to His wee Royal Highness..." "The Prince of Wales!" "Long live His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales!" "Here." "Milords and ladies..." "I ask you to toast my son..." "Edward Tudor." "One moment." "You drink too fast." "I advise you that as you drink, you pray for your own sakes... that my son be a good king." "Because good or bad, sickly or hale... craven or brave, he will be King!" "You drank sparingly, my good Norfolk." "Wine does not agree with me, Your Majesty." "A pity." "Because losing one's head from wine... is so much less permanent than losing it from treason." "Surely, Your Majesty does not think me guilty of that." "Not at all, my good Norfolk." "Merely capable of it." " It's a boy, Henry." " So I've been informed." " You're glad?" " Very." "And grateful to you, madam... not only for furnishing the House of Tudor with an heir... but also for freeing your King from further necessity of your being." "Poor little thing." "Brought into this world to wear a crown whether it fits him or not." "It shall weigh him down... until he'll wish he'd been born to the meanest pauper in London." "Poor little thing." "Poor nothing." "He's a healthy brat." "Healthy, is he?" "You'd have an healthy son, when all the time... you know it's only the sickly ones who can beg a farthing nowadays." "A prince was born tonight, too, little baby." "So go to sleep and pretend the bells are for you." "Here he is." "I think this cur ought to have his head whacked off!" "Boil him in oil, I says, Your Highness." "A good stewing is what he needs." "Let's give it to him." " What has he done, my good lords?" " He won't play, that's what." "Let this miscreant kneel before me." "Down, you scurvy nipper." "Why don't you want to play, bumpkin?" "'Cause I don't want to be boiled in oil." "It'd hurt." "Coward!" "Hold your tongue." "He's right." "It would hurt." "A good king is a merciful king." "I will show mercy." "If I make you one of my lords, will you play?" "Yes, I will." "I dub thee Sir Hawkins." "Arise." "Absit invidia'" "What's that?" "It's Latin." "And it means:" "Let there be no malice." "Father Andrew taught it to me." "He'd do better to teach you how to bring home a farthing." "I'll knock them royal ideas out of your head!" "You drooling beast, I'll cuff your mouth and like it!" "Now, then!" "He's certainly thumping the King good." "Maybe that'll keep the tears in your eyes long enough to beg a penny for food." "Now, be off with you!" "May I come in?" "But you are in." "Thomas, have you been crying?" "No, sir." "It's sweat." "You see, I've been running." "And how did you come by that?" "Your father?" "No, sir." "My father wouldn't beat me." "He likes me." "I apologize." "Thank you." "Someday I'm going to discuss you with your father." "No, I wouldn't, sir." "You see, he doesn't like to see anyone... on account of he feels so badly about me having to beg." "I thought maybe you'd let me read some more out of that Latin book." "Of course." "The more you read, the greater opportunity you'll have... of escaping Offal Court when you grow up." "But you've read most everything, and you're still in Offal Court, Father." "God's will and the whimsy of a king are two things... it isn't for ordinary people to understand, I presume, Tom." "Why did His Majesty turn you out of your house... and take away your pension, when you didn't do anything to him?" "I'm afraid nowadays, the King knows very little about his subjects." "Except those in his court... who take great pains he shouldn't learn... the plight of others less fortunate than themselves." "Do you know what I'd do if I were the King?" "I'd send the Prince out to play with other little boys." "Then he'd learn about the people and be a good king when he grew up." "A rather unlikely suggestion." "Get on with your reading while the light is good." "Perhaps I'd better, because I've been at it two days now... and I haven't got Caesar across the Rubicon yet." "Tell me all about it." "I'll tell you, there's more gold there than you ever thought was in the world... just dying to be took." " What's that you're reading?" " A book." " Stole it?" " No." "Father Andrew gave it to me." "To keep." "Wasn't that kind of him?" "I should say so." "It's very valuable." "Only rich people can afford to buy books." " Give it here." " Please don't tear it." "Tear it, you barmy mooncalf?" "I'll sell it." "This'll fetch a nice bit of meat and ale." "Please, give me back my book." "Come on, Hugo." "We're going to the thieves market." "A windfall from heaven, I calls it." "And if I catch you with that smirking priest again..." "I'll peel the hide off both of you!" "My book." "Go away!" "Get out of here!" "Go on!" "Penny, please?" "But it is time we spoke of certain things, Your Majesty." "My death among them, I suppose." "Death?" "What made you think of death, sire?" "For one thing, finding a carrion crow flying around my bed." "Banish the thought, sire." " You're still a hale man." " I'm not a man at all." "I'm a disease." "An infernally painful one." "Go on." "It occurred to me, sire, that when Prince Edward comes to the throne..." "The court may impose the Duke of Norfolk on him... as Lord High Protector." "And with reason, Hertford." "What a sorry thing it is to be a bad king." "To worry on your deathbed about your dynasty... and not about your people." "To be able to forgive a man his sins, and not his virtues." "And Norfolk has virtue." "And the House of Tudor has sins." "But they won't be judged by the Howards." "You are very right, Your Majesty." "The protector will be a man who nibbles at the hand of the court." "Whose power frightens only the ladies." "And whose chief ambition is to build a safe nest in the throne." "You'll forgive me if I say the description resembles that of a palace rat." " You mean..." " I mean you." "I am unable to tell my gratitude for this honor, sire." "But it will enable me to..." "To regret my passing with the greatest possible pleasure." "There is one thing, sire... which may prevent your selection of me from being carried out." " Who?" "Warwick?" " No, sire." "The Prince himself." "Norfolk has bewitched him." "He worships the man, calls him uncle." "But for some strange reason, His Highness has taken a dislike to me." "If you let the selection go, until your death..." "His little Highness will undoubtedly appoint Norfolk." "No." "Because I intend to arrange matters... so that Norfolk's death will precede my own." " Indeed, Your Majesty?" " Indeed." "Now, ask His Highness to come here." "I think I'd like to play now." "May we play charades, Your Highness?" "Lady Jane, I've told you I hate charades." "I'm sorry." "All right." "We'll play charades later." "After we play something I like." "Quill, you suggest something." "And if it doesn't suit me, I'll beat you." "And if it does suit you, it'll be a game you'll beat me at anyway." "Therefore, it might as well be... blind man's buff." "Good." "That would amuse me." " I'm it." " Here's my handkerchief." " Should I be first, sir?" " Shout so I know where you are." "All right." "Spin him round and around." "There you are." "Now, guess where we are." "Your Highness." " Are you hurt, Edward?" " Edward?" "Pardon me, Your Highness." "Someday I'll have your head cut off for calling me that." "But perhaps your feet would be better." "They're more in the way." "Why are you here, milord?" "His Majesty awaits, Your Highness." "Very well." "You are not dismissed." "I'm coming back." "I'm glad you sent for me, Father." "They wouldn't let me see you this afternoon." " You tried?" " Yes." " What did you want?" " Nothing." "Just wanted to see you." "Come here." "Sit down." "One of these days, Edward..." " I'll be going away." " To war, Father?" "No." "To peace, I hope." "But where?" "To face the one being... who knows there is no Divine Right of Kings." "After I've gone, Edward, you'll wear the crown." " But..." " Be still." "Listen and remember." "There is only one crown in England." "But there are many heads it will fit." "So a wise king removes those heads." "That is politics." "When you sit in judgment... remember your seat is but a chair... made by the English oak, hewn by English yeomen... and made into a throne only... by the will of the English people." "That is patriotism." "There's one thing more." "A king may answer to no man." "Not even to himself." "To have a conscience is to have a chink in your armor... to let in the knives of those you love... and trust, and need." "Remember what I am saying." "Never trust so much..." "Love so much... or need anyone so much... that you can't betray them with a smile." "That is the paradox of power." "I suppose you're too young to understand that." "No, Father." "I can even understand Aristotle in the original Greek." "You're like your mother." " What was my mother like?" " A dull woman." " She'd have bored you." " No, she wouldn't." "I'd have loved her." "Where is she?" "Got another biscuit?" "Your Majesty forgot to mention your selection to His Highness." "Bring me that casket." " Do you know what this is?" " Yes, Father." "The Great Seal of England." "There's strange magic in it, Edward." "It can make a royal whim a law." "An innocent man guilty." "A poor man rich." "A dangerous toy for a child... and a fool." "I advise you to use it sparingly and seldom." "Lest it seal your own doom." "I am entrusting it to you." "When the time comes for you to use it..." "I want you to consult..." " Doctors again." " Your Majesty." "You must be left undisturbed." "Milords, you must leave His Majesty at once." " Rest is the only physic that will cure him." " Is there no escape from you?" "After a lifetime of dodging cannonballs, am I to be done in by pills?" "Your Majesty, can that be a biscuit?" "What do you think it is, the Archbishop's head?" "May I ask, Your Highness, and you, Lord Hertford... to retire, for the King's good?" "Yes, of course." "Your Majesty." "Tomorrow." " Tomorrow." " But, Your Majesty..." "Get out!" "All of you!" " You, too." " Yes, Father." "Yes, Father." " Good night." " Good night, Father." "Where are Lady Jane and Lady Elizabeth?" "Their nurse came to inform them that it was their bedtime." " My dog, where is he?" " He's been taken to the kennels." " Fetch him." " Your Highness, this is our post." "If we leave it, we would have to answer to the King himself." "Is that a dog under there?" " A boy." " Out of there, you little tyke." " Out of there!" " Yes, Father." "Impertinent from the likes of you." "A sneak thief?" "How did you get in here?" "I'm not a thief, sir." "I just beg." "You've just begged yourself a skinful of broken bones this time." "Maybe this will teach you respect for His Majesty's Guard." "Maybe that will teach you respect for His Majesty's subjects." " Your Highness, forgive me, I..." " Keep quiet." "Are you hurt, boy?" " Are you hurt?" " No, sir, Your Highness, sir." " What are you doing here, boy?" " It was raining, Your Highness." "I just slipped through, milord, because..." "So I could sleep under the bench where it was dry, Your Highness." "I'm not a desperate character, Your Highness." "Honest, I'm not." "I'm certain you're not." "Had you been, the Captain would've been under the bench, not you." " Your Highness, you don't understand." " Keep quiet." "You annoy me enough when you're silent." "You're not thinking of beheading me, are you, Your Majesty?" "No." "I was wondering whether or not you were too dirty to play with." "You couldn't play with me." "I'm a beggar boy." "I can play with anyone I please." "I'm the Prince." "Come along." "We'll wait for him to come out from beneath His Highness' wing." "And when he does, we'll skin him." "I didn't think that if I were very good all my life... and died and went to heaven, I'd ever see anything like this." " Or meet a real prince, either." " Don't bother to flatter me." "I get enough of that from the court." "I must remember to have the Captain beheaded when I'm king." "No, you mustn't." "Not on account of me, at least." "Damnant quod non intelligunt'" " You know Latin?" " Yes." "Father Andrew taught me." "Never heard of the man." "Your father has, and he doesn't like him at all." " He took away his house and his pension." " Must be a priest." "Yes, he is." " I thought so." " You'd like him." "We Tudors hate priests." " Why?" " Because we..." "Just because we don't like them, I suppose." "I don't think that's a very good reason." "I did hear Warwick saying something to Uncle Thomas... that's the Duke of Norfolk... about Father wanting to get a new queen... and the priest not wanting him to." "Father must have won the argument." "Because we had two queens that year... and another new one now, Lady Parr." "But you can't have three mothers." "Neither can you." "I haven't even got one mother." " She died when I was a baby." " So did mine." "But anyway, a queen is a prince's mother." "And you say there's been three." "Six." "Six queens?" "Then, you'd have six mothers, but you couldn't have six mothers." "I can't figure it out." "Neither can I." "You may have a pear if you like." "A pear?" "Which is the pear?" " Haven't you ever seen a pear before?" " No, but I've read about them." " Nice, aren't they?" " Eat it, lad." "Like it?" "Crikey." "It tastes so good, I almost feel like a prince myself." "You certainly don't look like one." "Unless it would be a prince of paupers." "I will be when I get back to Offal Court... and tell them I've been in the palace and talked to you." "The only trouble is they won't believe me." "Why not, pray?" "You see, in Offal Court, a prince is... kind of like Saint Nicholas." "You hear about him, but you never see him... because you couldn't expect him to come to see poor people." "The Prince of Offal Court." "It would be amusing to see their faces." "They'll believe you because when you arrive, you shall be wearing my clothes." " Sword and all." " Your clothes?" "Why not?" "Clothes make the prince." "Are there any vermin in this?" "So few you'll hardly notice them at all, Your Highness." "You go wash your face." "Over there." "Use the towel." "Penny, please." "Please give me a penny." "Don't bother me, my lad." "Why, you look like me." "On the contrary, you look like me." "That's what I said, Your Highness." "We look alike." " Do you know any games, boy?" " Yes, Your Highness, lots of them:" " Duck and drake, robber and constable." " How do you play that?" "It takes three to play it:" "A robber, somebody to be robbed, and a constable." "You see, I rob you of something, hide it." "Then you tell the constable, and he and you try to find it." "While you're looking for it, I hide." "Then you and he have to find me to make the arrest, just as in real life." " Good." "I like that." "We'll play it." " But we have no constable." "I'll get my dog." "He'll be a marvelous constable." "He can find anybody no matter where they hide." "Wait here." "I'll get him." " There he goes, running for it." " After him." "If he gets away, you'll sweat for it." "Not so fast, me lad." " Captain wants to pay his respects to you." " Are you mad?" "Do you want to lose your heads?" "How dare you touch me!" "Listen to that." "The Prince must have knighted him." "Now for your lesson, you filthy little beggar." "Beggar?" "Are you insane?" "I'm Prince Edward!" "Make way for His Royal Highness, the Prince of Pewy." "I'll have your blood for this, and on my own sword." "Come back whenever you like." "The Guard prides itself on entertaining royalty." "Why wasn't His Highness prepared for bed last night?" "Because, Your Grace, he didn't ring." "Your Highness." "Where's the Prince?" "The Prince?" "Yes, the Prince." "Where is he?" "But, Your Highness, you are the Prince." "Please, milords, I'm not the Prince." "He went out to get a constable." "I mean, his dog." "And he didn't come back." "I'm a beggar boy." "Don't behead me." "Say you won't." "This is not the time for jesting, Your Highness." "Indeed, it isn't, because I'm in a pickle." "It's all so muddled." "The Prince will have my head because I have his clothes." "If the King finds out, he'll have me boiled in oil." "The Prince isn't here right now, but I'm sure he'll come back." "Please, Your Highness, discontinue this whimsy at our expense." "That's just it." "I'm not your highness." "I'm Tom Canty, a beggar boy, and I wish I were at it now." "I'm afraid His Highness is ill." "Very ill." " This will be a death blow to His Majesty." " We mustn't tell him." "Please, Your Highness, get up from your knees." "What would your father say if he saw you?" "In here?" "He'd say somebody boosted me through a window." "'Tis true." "His Majesty is gravely ailing." "That is God's will." "To inform him that his sins are to rule and live after him... in a daft boy, would be murder." "Neither alchemy nor prayer can cheat death of His Majesty's soul much longer." "But England can be cheated of a rightful king... should His Majesty not proclaim his son... and appoint a Lord Protector before his death." "And who might that be?" "One who might not forget a favor done now." "What?" "Treason!" "I talked to him last night, and he was sane as a bishop." "I know, Your Majesty." "I saw him then, too." " 'Tis an evil miracle." " You lie, I tell you!" "I would I did, Your Majesty, that you might be spared the proof." "Stop croaking!" "Fetch the boy!" "Mad, they say." "Too much study." "Sane one minute..." "Taken complete leave of his senses." "Doesn't even recognize anyone." "Your Majesty." "The King." "I am done for." "Come, my son." "Sit by me." "Let us talk, you and I." "But I'm not me." "I'm Tom Canty, Your Majesty." "Sir." "Tom, sir." "Come, lad." "Would you deny that I am your father?" "Yes, sire." "I wouldn't dare let anyone think such a thing." "What envenomed irony fate has wrought." "He doesn't know his own father." "But I do, Your Majesty." "A thief he is and was sorely mean to me." "Please, don't behead me." "Please, let me go home." "You've done this, you pedantic fools." "Whipping his mind with Latin and Greek till it's broken its halter and run wild." "Now take him, cure him, amuse him, freshen him." "Teach him the good English oaths of the hunting field." "Oaths that a man may use in ruling a country." "Not the foreign prattle of priests and scholars!" "It shan't be long before you'll know me, little Edward." "Please, Your Majesty." "I'm not Edward." "I'm Tom." "These aren't even my clothes." "I'm a beggar boy." "They won't believe me." "Please tell them I'm not your little boy." "This, milords... is my son... who shall sit on the throne and rule." "If not by reason of his wit... then by reason of the name of Tudor." "Summon the entire court to the Throne Room." "And bid them... hurry." "Milords and ladies." "In the past... you have jealously kept my bounty to yourselves." "But soon you'll be sharing it with the worms." "And what is left will probably rattle... in the posits of time." "England... could not shed enough tears to cleanse the name of Henry." "But I promise you... neither can England shed enough blood... to wash the name of Tudor from the roll of kings." "Don't deceive yourselves." "I am not threatening you from the grave." "My power will be buried with my body... and disintegrate as soon." "I'm threatening you with your own weakness... which I've nurtured for years." "Feeding one's greed with another's deceit." "Tolerating treachery." "Until, milords and ladies, you've grown so corrupt... that each could only conceal his guilt in the shadow of the others." "Hence, your heads remain on your shoulders... only as long as a Tudor sits on the throne... to cloak your infamies from the people... behind the purple robes of royalty." "The old dog dies... and the lice daren't desert his pup... lest they starve!" "It is my will... that my son, Edward... shall succeed me to the throne." "And that his tutelage and counsel... be entrusted... to a Lord..." "High... to a Lord..." "High Protector." "And that he... be..." "Your Majesty." "The Protector is to be who?" "Who?" "And now... to face them... all." "The King is dead." "Long live the King." "Let us pray." "The body which was Henry's... will once again become with the earth from which it was molded." "The soul we relegate to God." "The reign, to his royal Majesty, Edward VI." "Can I go home now, please?" "Permit me, Your Majesty." "Repeat after me, and when you have finished... strike my shoulder with your sword." " Aren't your afraid it will cut you?" " With the flat of it, Your Majesty." "Repeat:" "Let it be known to all my subjects..." ""Let it be known to all my subjects..."" " But I'm not the Prince." "...and throughout my realm..." ""And throughout my realm..."" "...that I hereby designate the Earl of Hertford..." ""That I hereby designate the Earl of Hertford..."" "...as my Lord High Protector, to direct... with adult advice, my untried judgment." ""As my Lord High Protector, to direct, with adult advice..."" " My untried judgment." " "My untried judgment."" "Death may have been on Norfolk's side, but a brain was on ours." "But fortunately, an addled one." "I'm honored by your selection, Your Majesty." " Did I select you for something?" " Yes, Your Majesty." "Henceforth, it is I, not Norfolk, in whom you will confide and trust." "Who's Norfolk?" "You can't recall him?" "That's a pity." "Such a little time remains to make his acquaintance." "I bid you good day, sire." "Please, my lord." "You said I was to confide in you." "Mayn't I do it now?" "Wait outside." "His Majesty has some affairs of state which he wishes to discuss." "Yes, milord." "Now, Edward, what is it?" "Please, won't you believe that I'm just me and not the Prince?" "You're no longer the Prince, Your Majesty." "You're the King." "I'm Tom Canty, I tell you, and I went to sleep in the palace garden." "His Highness brought me in because..." "I imagine he was sorry that the Captain of the Guard bashed me." "And what became of the Prince, pray?" "I don't know." "That kind of worries me." "People won't believe him, either, because he was wearing my clothes... and didn't look at all like a prince." "He looked so much like me, that it made us laugh." "I suppose it wasn't so very funny, though." "You don't believe me?" "I believe that you've been studying too hard, Your Majesty." "You won't even ask the Captain about what I said?" "If you wish it." "I do, because if he doesn't say the same thing... then I must be out of my wits." "What did the boy look like?" "Just another street urchin, milord." "The size and age of His Majesty." "Are you sure it wasn't His Majesty?" "Of course." "This boy was dirty, in tatters." "Then he was the King." "I don't know." "He said he was, and I thought it was impudence." "But he might have been?" "He might have been." "There is either a mad prince or a beggar boy on the throne." "Now, I must know which." "That will be easy to tell, milord." "I pray the crime won't be on my head." " How?" " His dog." "The brute will not suffer anyone to touch him except His Majesty." "Milord, should it not be, use your influence in my defense." "If you can only save me for the present..." "If I save you, Captain, it shan't be for the present... but for the future, in which I may find you useful." "I've brought you a playmate, Edward." " A dog." "Mine?" " Yours." "He didn't like me." "No, my little Potentate of Poverty, he didn't like you." " Then, you know who I am?" " Yes." " When can I go?" " Never." "Never?" " But, if I'm not the King..." " You are the King." "The only way to lose the crown now is to lose your head with it." " But I told the truth." " And committed treason." "Do you know what that means?" "You don't want that pretty little head of yours chopped off, do you?" "Nor to have your mother see the crows tearing tufts... from a skull on London Bridge... and know that it's her son's hair in which they will nest?" "Then never forget that you are Edward VI of England." "And that to ever again become Tom Canty... is to die." "Yes, sir." " Your men will miss you, Captain." " No." "I'm sending you away to execute a little mission for both of us." "Yes, milord?" "It seems you expelled a king." "Then it was he." "Your syntax is poor, Captain." ""Was" is in the past tense." "It is he." "When he returns, he'll have my blood." "I remember that threat." "And should he return..." "Norfolk would be appointed Lord High Protector in my stead." " I cannot defend you from a dungeon." " What's to be done?" "Our difficulties would be resolved by His Majesty's permanent absence." "But, milord... that would be murder." "His life or yours, Captain." "He'll be fairly easy to locate." "Your leave starts tonight." "The passing bell." "In good faith, they toll for Henry... little knowing they're sounding the knell of the House of Tudor." "Let us kneel to ask comfort and solace from Almighty God... when the burden of sorrow is upon us, my people." "Comfort us, O Lord... for we are as a child without a father... or as a ship without a rudder, or as a body without a head." "We mourn him whose statesmanship... and wisdom in counsel... have been as a bulwark against the enemies of England." "Thy will, not ours, be done, O Lord." "But strengthen us in this, our time of grief." "Thy people's sorrow and their destiny perish... for Henry, our King, is dead." "And a child sits upon the throne of England." "Imbue him with thy wisdom... thy strength, and thy mercy, O Lord." "Amen." "Father." "Long live the King." "All I hopes is this King ain't... the drunken fool the last was." "What was that scurrilous remark you made about my father?" "You deny that you insulted the late King, my father?" "Get away, or I'll fetch you one on the side of the head." "I'll have you drawn and quartered for this." "Do you realize you're addressing your King?" "The King, are you?" "Look what's the King." "This ha'penny worth of cat's meat is none other than His Majesty." "Ho there!" "Lay off!" "Didn't you hear me?" "I said lay off the lad." "Do you know what happens when you stick your nose where it ain't wanted?" "Yes, this." "Back, my good people." " Why don't we consider this situation?" " You'll all rot in chains for this." "Make way for the King's messenger!" "Time for us to leave, I think." " Where does Your Majesty deign to reside?" " In the palace, of course." " Charboy?" " King." "Let's not play that game anymore." "It's too strenuous." "You dare disclaim me?" "No, Your Majesty, only... it'll be a lot easier if you could be something a trifle more sedentary." "Like the Archbishop of Canterbury." "I tell you I am the King." "As you'll learn much to your regret if you don't keep a civil tone." "Very good, sire." "You're a bit done in after that joust." "You need some sleep to straighten you out." "You're too familiar, my man." "I will honor your hospitality tonight." "In the morning, you shall return to the palace with me for your reward." "Thank you, sire." "A drear hovel." "Yes, but then Windsor is so drafty." "I'm hungry." "What have you to tempt my appetite?" "That depends on what didn't tempt the mices." " Mice?" " Yes." "I had to fatten them all up." "You see, the cat threatened to leave." "You're making a joke." "The humor of being short of rations, my friend, has always escaped me." "Then, you're poor?" "Would you believe it?" "I am." "Who are you, fellow?" "Miles Hendon, Your Majesty." "The name is not familiar." "What is your trade?" " Soldiering, sire." " In my service?" "In the service of anyone who can afford enemies." "Soldier of fortune." "Strange profession." "Of the three open to a gentleman without means, it's the most amusing." "Cheating at cards means associating with dull people." "Preaching the gospel means wearing funny hats." " Better eat, lad." " Lad?" "I beg your pardon, Your Majesty." "I hope you don't think this is a leg of mutton." "A sheep walked around on it for some time under that impression." "Would you sit in the presence of your King?" " See here..." " I will no longer tolerate your manner." "I ask your pardon, Your Majesty." "But after that chase we led them, it would be good to sit down." "Perhaps." "No, custom must be preserved." "You will stand." "I was very hungry." " I feel better now." " I'm gratified, Your Majesty." "Come to think of it, I'm under obligation to you in many ways." " Your service demands rich reward." " A mere nothing, Your Majesty." "You may have any reward you wish." "Name it." "The privilege of sitting in your Majesty's presence." "Advance, fellow, and give me your sword." " Is it that you find the mutton tough, sire?" " Kneel." "While England remains and the Crown continues... you and your heirs forever may sit in the presence of the Majesty of England." "Arise, Sir Miles Hendon." "For pity's sake, sit down." "Thank you, Your Majesty." "Beginning to ache from the hammering they gave you?" "Why do you ask?" "You seem to be batting away at a few tears." "I'm not the man to snivel at a few bruises." "In fact, we Tudors never cry." " What's the matter?" " My dad's dead." "Good morning, Your Majesty." "I hope Your Majesty slept well." "Yes, sir." " Playing follow-the-leader?" " No, sire." "We've come to dress you." "Have I enough clothes to go around?" "Indeed, sire, everything has been assigned." "Are you ready to perform your ablutions?" "His Majesty's towel and bowl." "His Grace the Lord High Protector, awaits your pleasure... and asks that you be informed that a note on the treasury has to be signed." "The household account being depleted." " There's no money to pay for the palace?" " No, Your Majesty." "I suppose we'll just have to move to a smaller house." "I remember quite a nice one right next to the fish market in Billingsgate." "The rose water, milord." "It has a nice flavor." "Please, sir, how much longer must I do this?" "This is the last, sire." ""Authorizes an increased tax on windows."" "Do you mean to say we have a tax on windows?" "May I suggest that Your Majesty cease troubling himself about..." "I'm head of the government." "It's my job to be troubled about these things." "And I think a tax on windows is cruel, unjust." "The royal treasury is empty, sire." "Every means of replenishing it must be taken." "Yes, but windows?" "When poor people are sick, windows are the only outside they have." "They wouldn't have anything nice to look at if it weren't for windows." "And besides, that's taxing sunshine and light... which don't belong to us at all, but to God." "His Majesty's made a point there." "We will discuss this privately at some later time." "Have we Your Majesty's permission to withdraw?" "Yes." "I'll try to think of some better way to raise money." "Did you see an urchin slide out of here?" "He left, but sliding wasn't the way he done it." "He says to me, "Out of my way, fellow," and stalked." " Where'd he go?" " Good morning, Pam." " How are the little ones?" " Where did he go?" "It wasn't a he, it was a they." "A slimy looking fella come after the lad." "I heard him telling him you'd sent for him." " I thought it was a bit fishy, but..." " Cut it short." "Which way did he go?" "Across the street and to the Thieves Booth, and got dragged off." "By whom?" "By a foul old croak with a face that looked as if... it had been suckled on the handle of an headman's ax." " Never mind the face." " I didn't." "I daresay he did." "He sold a candlestick to the receiver." " I saw him." " Who sold a candlestick?" "The bloke with the face." " Good day to you, sir." " The good sir is looking for a bargain?" "Yes, I have a skin I'd like to trade in exchange for a little information." " A skin?" "Ermine or sable?" " Neither." " Rodent." " A rat skin isn't worth anything." "No?" "Except to the rat, of course." "You see, the skin happens to be yours." "If you want to save it, tell me who that man was..." " who dragged off the beggar boy." " What man?" "The man from whom you bought the candlestick." " I don't know." " No?" "Too bad." "Wait!" "Mercy." "I daren't tell you." "He'd have every thief in London out to slit my throat." "Then I'll save him some trouble." "I'll tell you." "His name is John Canty." "He lives in Offal Court." "The boy is his son, Tom, a little daft on the subject of royalty." "A thousand thanks, sir." "Good day, sir." "You must know I'm not Tom because you couldn't be this mean to your own boy!" "You dare strike me?" "Smash your own father, will you?" "I'll show you!" "What's the meaning of this?" "I'm his father, and you don't happen to be mine." "So keep your holy nose out of it." " Lf you strike that boy again, I'II..." " You'll do what?" "I'll forget that the laying on of hands should be done gently." "I warned you, you meddling old fool!" " Is he dead?" " Shut up." "Come on!" "He just sits there and says nothing." "The boy's potty." "And it's because of that Father Andrew always teaching him..." "Be quiet about Father Andrew, can't you?" " Were you seen doing anything?" " Shut up." " What's the pack?" " Father Andrew." " What about him?" " Dead as a salted herring." "And it's gossip you done him in." "How do you suppose that got about?" "From you bashing him over the head and him not getting up again." "You best take to the road." "Blowing hot, is it?" "It'll be scorching your heels soon if you don't make to the Roost." "I'm on the run to see the Ruffler." "Don't open your mouth to no one who ain't in on the know." " We'll head to the river dike." " Ain't you taking him?" " What for?" " He seen it, didn't he?" "That's right, he did." "He'd be a hindrance, but it's better than having him a witness." "He might come in handy, too." "He's the size that can be lifted through a window easy and quiet." "That's right." "It's time I was breaking him for a retriever." "Come here!" "If you see such a beggar boy, you'll get five pounds." "Five pounds for a beggar boy?" "What'd he do?" "Steal the Throne Room out of Windsor?" "Another of His Majesty's whims." "He's a bit addlepated, you know." "Remember, look sharp." "Sharp, at five pounds!" "A glance from me will nail him to the wall." "Is John about?" "I have a bit of business with him." "It wouldn't have to do with the law, would it?" "It might have if I don't see him." "You see, he and I..." "Just who are you?" "His mother." "And for all the drink it gets me, I might better have begat an empty bottle." "Well, then... perhaps you can use his share of a candlestick we lifted together." "This is once I get my share." "I'm beholden to you, indeed." "Not at all." "Where can I find John?" "Him and that crazed brat of his had to take to the road." " Making for the Roost, they are." " The Roost?" "An empty barn near Stullington." "They all holes up there with the Ruffler when it gets hot for 'em." "Yes, of course." "The Ruffler." "You say his son is a little unhinged?" "Like a gate, he is." "Thinks he's a king." " Has he been this way long?" " No." "John fetched him home like that just today." "Probably gave him one over the head... and cracked it like a nut." "I need money to maintain the palaces, courts, and royal establishments... that His Majesty's dignity be upheld." "May I remark, milord, that it might be more important... to uphold the dignity of England upon the sea?" "Let me remind you, England still has ships afloat." "Barely afloat." "Some of them we daren't fire a cannon aboard for fear of opening up seams." "With the thousands of pounds you've spent on one stable at Windsor... we could've increased the fleet by one-fourth." "You will observe, my lords... how amusingly futile is the bark of an old sea dog... when his teeth have been pulled." "Am I to understand, then, that the Navy is to get nothing?" "And that you intend to wheedle a demented boy... into signing these looting demands on the treasury?" "That is my intention." "Following the dictates of my judgment and honor." "You admit to honor?" " I boast of it." " Excellent." "Then you have no alternative but to defend it." "It does not please me to be awakened yet." "You'll wake up, beggar, and pay heed." " Am I not King anymore?" " Certainly, my most gracious liege." "Good." "I'm getting so I kind of enjoy it." "Send for the Lord of the Chamber." "I want something to eat." " Sign this order." " What is it?" "Sign it." " Have you seen the Great Seal?" " Great Seal?" "No." "The great big ones are called walruses." "Stamp, you little fool!" "A big stamp!" "No, I didn't see it." "Did you lose it?" "The Prince hid it." "When you find the Prince, maybe he'll remember." " You are looking for him, aren't you?" " Yes, we're looking for him." ""It's our will that Thomas Howard, second Duke of Norfolk..." ""steward of the Household, and Lord High Admiral of the fleet..." ""be placed under arrest, incarcerated in the Tower..." ""and there held for execution for his treasonous plottings..." ""against the Crown and the public weal."" "Signed Edward Rex." "May I see it?" "This order is signed by His Majesty... but not stamped with the Great Seal." "You cannot execute me." "True, but we can keep you in prison... until the Great Seal, which has been mislaid, is found." "And I assure Your Grace, that will be shortly." "You've chosen an excellent way to avoid meeting me in a duel." "A way worthy of you, Hertford." "We await your attendance, milord." "Poor little boy." "Bereft of reason and made the pawn of an unscrupulous scoundrel." "May history learn the truth and forgive Edward." "That song reminds me of Molly One-Eye." "It was her favorite." "What happened to old Molly One-Eye?" "Died of honesty, she did." "Tried to turn a penny by telling fortunes... and swiftly, they burned her for a witch." "And a merry blaze she made... with her marrow all soaked in spirits." "Her mistake was in changing her trade." "No, her mistake was being born in England." "Here!" "No treason, now." "What's wrong with England?" " Her laws." " What do you know about English law?" "Think you're a magistrate?" "No." "A human being for whom they're made." "An honest farmer... who had self-respect, a wife, three children, a mother." "All of which have been legislated into potter's field by English law." "Our first sin was committed by my mother... when she went to nurse her sick neighbor." "When the woman died, the doctors couldn't find the cause." "So they solved it... by calling my mother a witch and boiling her in oil... while I and my babes looked on... and learned the meaning of English justice." "We begged from house to house." "I, with two children stumbling and whimpering on either end." "Finally, I stole." "To keep my little Joseph from starving." "But English law decreed otherwise." "I was caught, sold for a slave... and branded on the cheek with the letter "S"." ""S" for slave!" "An English slave." "Understand?" "An English slave." "The most contemptuous title any Englishman can bear... still conferred by English law." "But I'll be relieved of it." "One day I'll be caught and hanged." "You shall not!" "Furthermore, on this day, that law is ended." "What's that?" "Who is this?" "I am Edward, King of England." "You mannerless vagrants." "Is this the thanks I get for the royal boon I have promised?" "He's my son and stark mad." "Thinks he's King." "I am the King." "As you, a confessed murderer, shall soon learn on the gallows!" "You'd try your own father, will you?" "If you have no respect for your king, have some for the Ruffler... or I'll teach you respect at the end of a rope." "Now, lad, if you must be king... humor yourself, but not as King of England." "It's treason, and we'll have none of that here." "We may be a scurvy lot... but at least we're scurvy Englishmen, and loyal to the Crown." "God bless Edward, King of England!" "I thank you, my good people." "Drop it, I said." "Choose yourself another handle." " Foo-Foo the First!" " King of mooncalves!" "Here you are!" "Your robe, sire!" " A crown!" " Here's one." "He's disappeared, plain and simple." "Why should His Grace still be worried about him?" "Because it would put England in revolt and half its head on the chopping block... should there be two Edwards at the coronation tomorrow." "What's that to us?" "We're still the King's Guard, whether the King is..." "Edward or Bobo the butcher boy." "One o'clock and all's well!" "Drink up and be off to your rooms." "It's closing time." "Come on." "That's good advice." "You'll be on the road at sunrise." "Up!" "Right, sir." "About three more swallows will do it." "Take your time, sir." "I wouldn't want you to get the hiccups." "No." "They're noisy things." "Here's to the end of your long day." "It'd be a pleasure to get you another, sir." "Would it?" "But how about your sleep?" "I can manage to keep my eyes open." "Especially when there's something handsome to look at." "Are you staying the night?" " No." "Worse luck." " Why not?" " The curse of money, my dear." " You mean you're strapped?" "I only wish I were." "Then I couldn't have flipped that coin." " But where are you going?" " A place called the Roost, near here." "That thieves' den?" "But you're not going there at this time of night?" "You'll have your throat cut sure." "They'll commit murder for a penny." "It looks bad for me with my shilling." "Remember, if you don't do like you've been told... we'll put climes on you." "Twenty of them." "You know what climes are?" "Tell him, Hugo." "They're little bandages with a bit of paste on them... made of soap and quicklime and rust off old iron." "And when you take some off, there's the nastiest looking sore... that ever made a citizen sick." "Sores that don't get well, but spread like a disease." "No." "I'll steal." "Let's get at it, then." "Help!" "Murder!" "Call the watch!" "Stop!" "Where'd they go?" "Help!" "Who was that?" "Murder!" "Boy, stop." "It is I, Miles Hendon." "What happened there?" " I've been murdered." " Murdered?" "They killed me." " All right, what happened?" " I don't know." "You don't know?" "I have a pretty fair idea." "You got into the room and didn't do what you was told." "Now you'll get what's coming to you." "I'm deeply grateful to you, Sir Miles." "You certainly make some delightful acquaintances." "Is he dead?" "I don't anticipate hearing an apology from him much before Judgment Day." "It is just." "He was a confessed murderer." "Come." "I wish to be gone from here." "What have you been doing since I last saw you?" "Learning a great deal about England." " It doesn't seem to please you." " No, it doesn't." " Hold or I'll fire!" " That's them." "No doubt!" "What are they doing about this time of night?" "String 'em both up." " Stop that!" "What would you with us?" " You're under arrest for robbery." "We know nothing of any robbery." "We'll take you back to the Running Fox." "We'll find out soon enough." " They're the thieves, all right." " No doubt of it." "All right, here they are." "We nabbed them." "No, sir." "It wasn't this gentleman, sir." "I happen to know it was otherwise..." "You speak when you're spoke to." "If you can recognize them... they'll soon be on their way to learn it's harder to break out than in." "I can recognize them." "Just point them out." "Get over there." "I can identify him." "He was the one with the musket." "No, sir." "I was the one that led the cavalry charge." "Don't you remember?" "My dapper friend, you'd be more respectful lashed to a whipping post." "You, my fat friend, would look more natural tied to a hitching post." " Where are all the others?" " All the others is him." "He's right here, sir." "It's him." "His Majesty." " Get the horses ready." " Right, sir." " It's he." "I'm positive." " Take your hands from me, pig!" " Pig?" "I'll teach you." " What?" " You're a pretty pair of cutthroats." " Take them away." "One moment." " We'll take charge of the boy." " Captain, I..." "And who might you be to be taking charge of my prisoner?" "The Captain of His Majesty's Guard." "Let's see that." "The boy has escaped from a London madhouse." "And has a strange insanity offensive to the Crown." "Naturally, this is our responsibility." "Yes, sir." "Of course, sir." "Your prisoner, sir." "Take him along." " Glad to have been of service, Captain." " Good night." "Captain, what do you suggest doing with this one, sir?" "He seems capable of digesting about 20 lashes." "Thank you, Captain." "When next we meet, I trust you'll be capable of digesting 20 inches of steel." "Here." "How dare you indulge this outrage on my person?" "It wouldn't do to let people know there's been no king on the throne... until the day before the coronation." "Forgive me." "It was the best ruse I knew to get you away." "But what of the man Hendon?" "I want him freed." "He shall be in the morning." "Tonight we get closer to London to arrive in time tomorrow." "Very well." "But should any harm come to Miles Hendon, your life shall pay for it." " Understand?" " Yes, Your Majesty." "My life." " Why are we stopping here, Captain?" " To let you get some sleep, Your Majesty." "I felt my making camp for a few hours... would freshen you for the coronation ceremonies in the morning." "Very considerate, Captain." "I am sleepy." "This way, Your Majesty." "This place will be ideal." "May I have your cloak, Captain?" "Give me your cloak." " Forgive me, Your Majesty." " What have you done?" "It's what I must do, poor little Edward." "Is that any way to address your King?" "Or for the Captain of my Guard to act?" "Cowering like a woman?" "Out with it, fellow." "What is it?" "You are to join your father, Your Majesty." "You're going to kill me?" "You can't." "You just can't." "There's no one to take the throne, except Mary or Elizabeth." "And they're girls and not even grown up." "Say your prayers, Your Majesty." "I hope my father's asleep in heaven." "I don't want him to know that a Tudor died at the hands of a traitorous Englishman." "He'd be so ashamed of you." "But he won't be ashamed of me." ""Our father, who art in heaven..." ""hallowed be thy name." ""Thy kingdom come..." ""thy will be done..." ""on earth as it is in heaven."" "And me what calls myself an Englishman." "Be still, can't you?" ""Forgive us our trespasses..." ""as we forgive those who trespass against us." ""Lead us not into temptation..." ""but deliver us from evil."" "How's your digestion now, Captain?" "Ready for that 20 inches of steel I promised you?" "Miles Hendon!" " Your Majesty." " Majesty?" " Then you believe me?" " Without a doubt, sire." "What's the matter?" "I was frightened." "Sirs, here I present King Edward... rightful and undoubted inheritor by the laws of God and man... to the royal dignity and crown imperial of this realm... whose consecration, inunction, and coronation... is appointed to be this day." "Will ye nobles, peers, and commons serve at this time... and give your good wills in a sense... to the same consecration, inunction, and coronation... as by your duty ye are bound to do?" "Yes!" "Smile, you little fool." "Smile and bow to them." "O God, who dwellest in the high and holy place... with them also who are of a humble spirit..." "Look down mercifully upon this, thy servant Edward, our King... here humbling himself before thee at thy footstool... and graciously receive these oblations... which in humble acknowledgment of thy sovereignty over all... and of thy great bounty to him in particular... he hath offered up unto thee... through Jesus Christ, our only mediator and advocate." "Amen." "Will you, Edward, grant to the people of England... the laws and liberties of this realm?" ""I do grant and so promise."" "Will you keep to the Church and people holy peace and concord?" ""I shall keep."" "Will you make to be done to the best of your strength and power... equal and rightful justice in all your dooms and judgments with mercy and truth?" ""I shall do."" "The things which I have here before promised I will perform and keep." "So help me God and the contents of this book." "Kiss the book." "Let these hands be anointed with holy oil." "Let this breast... be anointed with holy oil." "And let this head be anointed with holy oil." "As kings and prophets were anointed... and as Samuel did anoint David to be king." "So that thou mayest be blessed and established... a king in this kingdom, over this people... whom the Lord thy God have given thee to rule and govern." "Amen." "O Lord... who receivest thy good and faithful servants... with mercy and loving kindness..." "Look down upon this, thy servant Edward, our King..." " Get out of here." " Look here, my good fellow..." "Something of the utmost importance to the entire realm has arisen..." "You'll have your ears taken off if you don't go." " I demand to speak to your captain." " He'll give you 40 lashes." "...having a right faith and manifold fruit of good works... mayest obtain the crown of an everlasting Kingdom." "Stop!" "What is this?" "What is he doing?" "Stop!" "I forbid it." "Who dares this sacrilege?" "I, Edward, the King." "Truly, he is the King." "His Majesty's malady is upon him again." " Seize the impostor." " Hold!" "O my lord and King, forgive me." "What you have done is shameful treason." "It wasn't my doing, Your Majesty." "Cross my heart." "I believe you, Tom Canty." "But others shall answer." " Outrage..." " Softly." "Your Majesty, perhaps we could proceed with the coronation... if you were assured no harm would come to this lad." "What a striking resemblance." "Some of you have already forfeited your heads." "But others may be spared by paying homage now." "Please, milord." "Please believe us." "Truly, he is the King." "By your favor, sire, might I ask some questions... which may allay our doubts?" "I command you to do so, that I may answer them... and end your stupid perplexity." "What stands near the right-hand door of our late King's apartment?" "The Great Herring." "A model of the warship designed by my late father." "God rest his soul." "Of what did Lady Jane eat so many that she became..." " discommoded?" " Pomegranates." "And got ill on the Steward of the Household." "Which man did you wrongly but affectionately call uncle?" "Milord Norfolk, whose absence displeases me." " All these things are true, milord." " Unbelievably." "Astonishing." "Quite astonishing indeed, but the King can do the same." "They are not proofs." "It is perilous to the state and to us all, to entertain such a mystery as this." "It could undermine the throne, divide the nation." " Arrest this..." " One moment." "The mystery may be easily solved." "There's one question which only the Prince of Wales can answer." " Where is the Great Seal of England?" " That'll settle it." "I must have put it with all things of value which had been entrusted to me." "Of course." "Milord St. John... go to my private cabinet." "Close to the floor in the left corner is a nailhead." "Press it and a jeweled closet will fly open." "There you will find the Great Seal." "Fetch it." " At once!" " And do hurry." "Yes, Your Majesty." " Your mount, Captain!" " Yes, milord." "The seal, Your Majesty, is not there." "Cast this beggar into the streets." "Stone the impostor." "Take him away." "Let him alone!" "Please, sir." "Maybe His Majesty has just misplaced the seal." " He might have, mightn't he?" " Hardly likely, sire." "A massive golden disk isn't a thing to escape notice." "Was it round and thick?" "And did it have letters carved in it?" "That would describe it, my liege." "Blimey." "So that's the thing that's been worrying everybody." "If you'd described it to me, you could have had it sooner." "Your Majesty, knowing where the great seal lies... does nothing to establish this lad's spurious claim." "Perhaps we'd better continue the ceremony." "But with the real King, because he put away the seal himself." "Remember, Your Majesty?" "You must." "You've got to be king." "Because I wouldn't like it anymore." "Think." "I just can't." " It seems so long ago." " We exchanged clothes, you remember?" "That I'll never forget." "And you asked me if I knew any games, and I said, Constable." "And you went out to get your dog." "But before you left, what did you do?" "Think." " Harder, Your Majesty." " I just can't." "Listen, and try and see it." "You started for the door." "You passed a table." "That old thing you called a seal was on it." "You picked it up and looked about for some place to hide it." "Your eyes caught sight of..." "The suit of armor by the door, in the leg-piece." "Your Majesty." "Coming through." " Your mount again, Captain?" " Yes, sir." "He's a busy bloke, ain't he?" "Come here, lad." "Yes, Your Majesty?" "I owe my throne to you, Tom." "A debt which I shall pay." "But tell me, how could you remember where I hid the seal... when I couldn't myself?" "You see, Your Majesty, I found it and used it." "Used it?" "For what?" "To crack nuts with." "My father told me the night he died... that a wise king removes the heads of those... who try to remove the crown." "But I suppose I'm not a wise king." "Because I don't want you to be killed." "Instead, I hereby order you to be banished from England... for the rest of your life." "May I learn generosity from you, sire." "The acts, Your Majesty." "Milords and ladies, my dad..." "I mean, the late King... told me to use the Great Seal sparingly in making laws." "But if he had gone out among his people without his crown..." "I know he'd have told me not to spare it in breaking them." "So these acts abolish the begging laws... modify the laws of eminent domain, and do away with slavery." "Churl, you dare sit in the presence of your King?" "Yes." "But you mustn't." " Your Majesty!" " Let's not take affront." "It is his right, afforded by a grateful King, whose life he saved." " Also, Sir Miles Hendon..." " Yes, sire?" "There is among these papers a commission for you." " As Captain of my Guard." " Thank you, Your Majesty." "You aren't pleased by my appointment?" "You see, Your Majesty, the enemy will never come to Windsor." "And a Captain of the Guard can't go looking for them." "So, as my trade's soldiering, I don't see when I'll get a chance to practice it." "Very well." " But I owe you something." " Three crowns to be exact, sire." "You shall have them." "A hundredfold." "Yes, and an earldom, castles, lands..." " and a retinue of servants." " Your Majesty." "I hope Your Majesty won't think me ungrateful... but please may I be permitted to forgo all these honors... with which Your Majesty threatens me?" "To one of my temperament, riches are a curse." "Possessions, a veritable scourge." "All I ask is an obscure life and a peaceful one." "But not too peaceful, of course." "Anything to content you, Sir Miles." "But remember, I'm eternally in your debt." "I'll seal these, and you may send for them later." " Please dismiss the court." " Yes, sire." "You have His Majesty's permission to withdraw." " Tom." " Yes, Your Highness?" " Come here." " Yes, sire." "They're gone." "Sit down." "Are you sure it's all right?" "You sat down all the time you were King, so I suppose it won't matter now." " This one's about you." " Me?" " It makes you my ward." " Ward?" "That means all your life you'll have money to live on." "And if anybody's unkind or cruel to you... they've committed an offense against the Crown." " Oh, Your Majesty." " What's the matter?" " I just don't know what to say." " Just say thank you." "This is good for cracking nuts, isn't it?" "English"