"THE BOOM!" "TEAM:" "knezgoga kn3zg0ga knezgoga kn3zg0ga" "FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS "Bret Gives Up The Dream"" "Good news, man." "Got some groceries." "Really?" "Yea, I got some good stuff." "I think you'll like that." "A sandwich?" "Yea." "Some jam, that's good." "These are great, how did you afford this?" "Erm..." "It was free!" "Free?" "Yea." "How come it was free?" "Eh?" "I found it!" "It was on the street." "Someone didn't want it." "What are you doing, man?" "That's a good sandwich!" "I was gonna spit it out, but I'll just eat it." "We're poor, man!" "We are poor, aren't we?" "Inner city life, inner city pressure" "The concrete world is starting to get ya" "The city is alive, the city is expanding," "Living in the city can be demanding," "You've pawned everything, everything you own," "Your toothbrush, jar, and a camera phone" "You don't know where you're going" "You cross the street" "You don't know why you did," "You walk back across the street." "Standing in the sitting room, totally skint" "And your favorite jersey is covered in lint" "You want to sit down, but you sold your chair" "So you just stand there" "You just stand there" "You just stand there" "Inner" "Inner city" "Inner city pressure" "Counting coins on the counter of the 7-11," "From a quarter past six 'til a quarter to seven," "The manager Bevan starts to abuse me" "Hey man, I just want some Muesli," "Neon signs, hidden messages," "Questions, answers, fetishes," "You know you're not in high finance," "Considering getting second hand underpants," "Check your mind, how'd it get so bad?" "What happened to those other underpants you had," "Look in your pockets, haven't found a cent yet," "Landlords on your balls, have you paid your rent yet?" "Inner" "Inner city" "Inner city pressure" "So you think maybe you'll be a prostitute," "Just to pay for your lessons, you're learning the flute," "The ladies won't pay you very much for this," "Looks like you'll never be a concert flautist," "You don't measure up to the expectation" "When you're unemployed there's no vacation" "No one cares, no one sympathizes" "You just stay home and play synthesizers." "Inner" "Inner city" "Inner city pressure" "Inner" "Inner city" "Inner city pressure" "Murray!" "Oh, guys!" "What are you doing here, this is not a schedeuled band meeting!" "Are you busy?" "No, just reading about the old Toothbrush Fence." "50 brushes now!" "Pretty impressive, huh?" "Murray, we need some money." "Ah, OK." "How much?" "We got about $4 in here." "$4?" "I thougt we had $10!" "This box costs 6!" "What was wrong with the bag?" "The bag was useless, Bret." "It had a great big hole in it." "We must have lost $20 out of that bag." "It's the box now." "You like it?" "I chose it." "Well can we have the $4?" "Well there'll nothing in the box." "Here's the $4, I got 27 cents here." "That's the lot of it." "Actually, I'm owed 12% of that." "Hang on, let's have a look!" "OK, 51.24 cents." "I can't even divide..." "Just leave it!" "You take it all!" "I'll tell you what." "I feel bad, I haven't got you paid gigs for a while..." "Here you go." "Take this!" "50 dollars!" "You can't give us your own money!" "Well, you're right." "It is my last 50." "Till Thursday, I mean, I'm gettin paid again, but..." "Well, have we sold any T-shirts?" "Two." "What about mousepads?" "No..." "Sold any mousepads?" "No, I've told you." "Terrible idea!" "I don't know what to do with them, I got so many mousepads at home beacause of your bad idea, Bret." "What do you do with mousepads?" "I've lined Toby's kennel with them, he keeps eating them." "I've tried to waterproof the kitchen..." "We need some cash." "Well maybe you guys should think about supplementing your band income by getting another job like I do with this job!" "Murray, the Prime Minister's office wants to talk to you about the World Trade Expo next week" "Can you tell them I'll ring them straight back, I've just got a couple of businessmen here" "Everybody knows you manage your band during office hours, Murray!" "Hey guys!" "Hey Greg!" "I wear that T-shirt all the time." "Greg!" "We've still got mousepads, actually!" "No thanks, Murray!" "See?" "Hopless!" "The job is - you have to hold up this sign." "And you have to make sure it points in the right direction." "Now, does that sound like something you can do?" "Sounds like something a landpost could do." "You know what?" "You're sign material, this guy overthinks things." "OK?" "You can't overthink in this business, you cannot!" "What if a wind comes?" "And blows it away?" "Ever think of that?" "Enrico Fermi?" "We can hold it, it won't be a problem." "You have the right attitude." "You have, what I like to call, the wrong attitude." "All the hotties at the parties" "Shakin all ya booties, yea" "Jemaine?" "I have to go to sleep now." "Bret, do you think it shuold be" "Shake their booties, yea or Shake their boobies, yea?" "Cause when I think of shake your booties, I think of those little bots that babies wear, those little woman boots that they wear." "You know, babies with those little woollen boots." "Yea, I know." "I don't know, man, I've got work in the morning." "I need to go to sleep." "I can't believe you got that job and I didn't." "You need to work on your people skills." "Shut up, Bret." "Hey man!" "Oh, hey Bret!" "I bought the chairs back off Dave." "You're kind of late for band pracitce." "Sorry man, we had some afterwork drinks." "Yea, well, you could have told me, so..." "Should we do some more practice?" "Bret, it's 7 o'clock!" "I've been practicing for 4 hours!" "Oh." "What are you doing now?" "It's my free time now." "I'm gonna do some of my leisure activities." "I'm gonna sit down over there for a bit and then I'm gonna do some light reading." "But if it's your free time, let's do some more practice!" "You could have practiced too, if you were here, but you weren't, so sorry." "What are you doing?" "I'm just, you know, sitting down." "It's my free time." "I can do whatever I like." "This is what I like to do." "Hello Bret!" "What are you guys doing here?" "Emergency band meeting!" "I'm working!" "This is my work!" "You're not working!" "You're just holding a sign!" "This is my work." "Get out of here!" "C'mon!" "Band meeting." "Bret!" "Present." "Jemaine!" "Present." "Murray, present." "And good news anyway." "The Trade and Migrant Expo." "It's been okayed." "New Zealand want you to be in their stall." "What's the Trade and Migrant Expo?" "For their stalls, from all the different countries of the world." "And the Australians, as always, have got their stall right next to the New Zealand stall" "But this year, with you guys palying, we're gonna blow those Aussies out of the water!" "I can't wait!" "Bloody showoffs!" "When is that?" "Erm..." "Thursday, 3PM." "No, I can't go." "I got work." "You gotta go, it's a gig!" "I don't know." "What's more important, the band or your job?" "Yea well, I got the job cause we didn't have any gigs." "How can I give you a gig if you've got this job?" "Yea, that's why I got the job." "Cause there were no gigs." "Well I can't give you a gig if you're always gonna go and do a job!" "Yea but that's..." "I needed the job cause there were no gigs." "Well I've got you a gig, so what's with the job?" "Yea but that's it." "I've got the job, cause there were no gigs, man." "It's a chicken egg situation." "What do you mean?" "What's he mean?" "Chicken?" "Well you know, which one came first, the chicken or the egg?" "That's irrelevant." "Causalitiy..." "It's stupid." "The chicken, obviously." "And where did the chicken come from?" "Well it came from the..." "Ah..." "You see, the egg." "You're the egg." "You're a bad egg." "You've derailed this meeting with another obscure comment." "Well you can just record my part on tape." "Jemaine could play along." "Tape?" "!" "A cassette tape?" "Nah." "Can't do that, Bret." "I'm not happy with that." "Those hotdogs any good?" "Yea, they're good." "How much?" "2 dollars." "How many sauces?" "Two." "You'd expect 3 sauces for that, wouldn't you?" "Can you go?" "I gotta get back to work, guys." "And folks please, I'm sorry about the particles." "Don't breathe them in, we don't know what they are." "I would suggest quick short breaths." "Now Georgina, I'm gonna give you jewlery sale, OK?" "I'm gonna put you at Broadway and Canal." "Now this is basic stuff,OK you know this." "Bret, I'm gonna give you something a little harder, alright, men's suits, OK?" "Now, Matthew, I want you to hold the sign just like Bret." "Bret, how are you holding it?" "I'm just holding it." "Exactly!" "Just holding it." "Coco, you're late!" "Actually Bret, y'know what, I'm gonna give you phones." "I want you to show Coco the ropes." "Coco, this is Bret." "Alright everybody, really, look alive out there, this could be a launching pad for you." "People who hold signs go on..." "The whole..." "Many things!" "I'm in a band." "Cool!" "What's your name again?" "Bret." "Brit?" "Bret." "Bree?" "Bret." "Brit, like Britney?" "No.." "B-R-E-T." "Oh, Bret!" "It just sounds like Brit." "I like your English accent" "New Zealand." "Oh, from New Zealand!" "Yeah." "I hear it's beautiful" "There's Vikings there, right?" "Erm.. yeah." "I had a friend who went there, she loved it." "She's a big Lord Of The Rings fan." "Oh my God." "She's so hot." "She's so flippin' hot." "She's like a curry." "I want to tell her how hot she is, but she'll think I'm being sexist." "She's so hot she's making me sexist." "Bitch." "I think I need a 1983 Casio DG-20 electric guitar" "Set to electric mandolin" "Some drums" "Yeah" "Hear me now!" "I see you with a sign" "I want to boom like it's never been done" "Bust moves like the click boom of a gun" "My beats stay locked and my eyes are zooming" "My feet start tweaking and my body's booming" "The first day of boom and the flowers are blooming" "Booty boom bass and the party is booming" "Boom ba-boom like a rocket taking off to the moon" "Boom boom like a bride and boom-ah" "See you shaking that boom boom" "See you looking at my boom boom" "See you want some boom boom" "It's clear it's boom time" "Boom boom" "Let me buy you a boom boom" "You order a fancy boom" "You like boom" "And I like boom" "Enough small boom let's boom the boom-ah" "Fast-forward, selecta" "Now we're rolling on a boom boom" "Riding to my private room" "And we boom whats boom and we both assume" "We're gonna boom boom boom 'til the break of boom" "Who's the boom king?" "Who?" "I'm the boom king." "What?" "Who's the boom king?" "Tell me now." "I'm the boom king" "He's the boom king" "My phone is beeping, it's B-boom Boom" "He's back from ten years doom and gloom" "He said he had his boom chopped off in the boom" "But the crazy boom still loves the boom" "Unzip the boom and my lens goes zoom" "Your b-boom drops" "Ba-boom ba-boom boom" "We both get freaky and the boom gets leaky" "Then we boom boom boom boom" "Who's the boom king?" "Who?" "I'm the boom king" "What?" "Who's the boom king?" "Hah!" "I'm the boom king" "Bret's the boom king" "Come to New Zealand!" "Beautiful scenery!" "Like Lord Of The Rings!" "We've got interesting attractions, a toothbrush fence." "Imagine that, a whole fence made out of, out of tooth brushes." "Over 50 tooth brushes!" "Bungee jumping!" "You like bungee jumping, Sir?" "New Zealand!" "New Zealand!" "Yea, keep.." "Hold on to that." "Cheer up, Greg!" "Jemaine!" "Where's Bret?" "Is there any sign of him?" "We're running out of attractions." "No." "I don't know where he is." "Tuck your shirt in!" "You look messy." "Try and be proud of New Zealand." "Oh no." "Hey Murray!" "How you doin?" "Maxwell!" "Good." "Stall looks great." "Thanks." "This fence of toothbrushes." "Sounds fascinating!" "Probably haven't got one in Australia, have you?" "Nah..." "No!" "We've got Ayers Rock, mate." "Big, huge rock..." "Massive." "Yeah, we've got rocks." "We've got a big...smaller rocks." "When's this, erm, band of yours playing?" "Can't wait to hear it." "Pretty soon." "We're just wainting for the rest of the band to turn up." "Right." "Just cuz we've got the Wet and Wild Welcome Girls doin their bikini barbacue thing" "And the music's gonna be pumpin!" "I don't wanna drown out your... band." "Better start soon." "You better just, erm, forget Bret." "I have to rewind it." "Is this your band, Murray?" "A guy and a tape." "Classic!" "Press play and drop it!" "I'm tryin." "Drop the beat!" "One, two, three, four" "All the hotties at the party Feelin naughty, shakin boobies, yea!" "Who likes to rock the party?" "All the ladies with the babies makin babies shake their booties, yea!" "Who likes to rock the party?" "New Zealand likes to rock the party!" "That was awesome, Jemaine!" " Thank you." "Blow the Aussies right out of the water." "The tape was great." "Oh no." "Ah, c'mon!" "Guys!" "Sorry I'm late guys." "Hey!" " Hey!" "Have you done the gig?" "Yes, Bret." "Ah, sorry." "It took me ages to get here." "Well the tape was on time." "Good." "How did it sound?" "It was alright?" "Good." "Really good actually, yea." "In fact, there was very little difference between you and the tape, I noticed." "Oh, whatever, Murray." "And it doesn't talk back." "But the tape's lifeless, isn't it?" "It's a tape." "It's not like a getting a real musician up there, is it?" "Hey Jemaine?" "I didn't really notice the difference." "The difference is: the tape didn't lead us down, alright." "It made it, it played well." "And the more I think about it, the more I like it." "I got the right mind to actually fire you, Bret, and just keep Jemaine and the tape." "Yea, you're bluffing Murray." "I'm not bluffing!" "Yes you are." "I'm not!" "Yes you are." "He is." "He is." "He told me he was gonna pretend to fire you if you're late." "Good one!" "Yea, I was gonna, yes." "I'm not now." "This is the whole..." "I've turned around!" "I'm afraid to say, Bret, that you are..." "You've got to check the tape..." "Yup!" "Are you serious?" "You're fired!" "Both of you, I'm not giving you a lift home." "Oh." "Why me?" "No, cause you've ruined my bluff!" "The whole bluff thing!" "Goodbye Bret!" "There's other attractions." "Check out the Indian one!" "Thanks for giving us a ride." "Mel and Doug." "Anytime." "Hey Bret, are you really.." "I noticed you weren't on stage and there was a tape and.." "Yea, I'm not in a band anymore." "Murray just fired me." "What do you mean, you're not in the band?" "Did you hear that, Doug?" "Yea." "It's terrible." "It is terrible, Doug!" "It's terrible!" "God." "Can Murray do that?" "!" "No." "Yea." "Well, your fans are gonna be devastated." "That's just you, Mel." "Yea." "Thank you." "Yea." "What are you gonna do, Bret..." "Wha..." "I mean..." "Erm..." "I'll just concentrate on my job." "Holding signs." "It's going pretty well." "Oh yeah, I've seen you." "I've seen you a lot." "You really know how to move that sign." "You just... manipulate it." "Impressive, your skillful hands..." "Thank you very much, Mel." "Yea, thank you." "You're welcome." "You were good tonight, Jemaine." "Thank you, Mel." "Way better than those Australian girls in their bikinis, I didn't like them." "Oh, I liked them." "I hated them." "So, is it just gonna be you and the tape for a bit?" "Yea." "Actually, we've got a gig." "Oh, you got a gig!" "What, a real gig?" "!" "Yea." "Yea." "A guy saw us and wants to book us." "Well, I'll be there." "You bet your ass I'll be there." "I'll be at every one." "Oh man." "The car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?" "Just here, thanks Doug." "Where?" "Here?" "Anywhere." "OK, so how else is the tape better than Bret?" "More compact." "Bret's pretty compact though." "I can carry the tape." "Just carry it around with me." "You could carry Bret." "How much can you press?" "Not to a gig, I couldn't carry him to a gig." "I can just put this to my pocket and just carry it to the gig." "More compact." "That'll save money on a subway fees too." "You miss Bret though?" "Not really." " You don't miss him?" "No." "No?" "No." "You miss him?" "A little bit." "A little bit, eh." "I miss him." "I might put that down as a.." "Yea, put: "Miss him"." "Yea." "Well..." "No matter which way you look at it, the tape's still winning." "Make sure you don't lose it, alright?" "Don't stand next to any big magnets." "Why would I stand next to big magnets, Murray?" "Well I don't know what you do in your personal life." "So that's it." "You got the tape, haven't you?" "Yeah, I got the tape." "Let's see it." "I've got the tape, I told you." "Let's have a look." "I've got it in my pocket." "I just wanna see it." "Oh, careful!" "Now look what you done!" "Yea, leave it!" "Leave it!" "Careful!" "It's alright." "It's alright." "I've got a trick here." "From the 80's." "Look!" "Hm..." "Does this mean I'm not in the band anymore?" "I'm afraid not, Jemaine." "Greg, can we get a couple of tissues in here?" "Greg?" "Chin up, Jemaine!" "Actually, don't worry about it." "You don't want to see two grown men crying." "Go away, Greg." "Yea." "Sue them." "Just sue them." "Oh, I gotta go." "Hey man!" "Hey Bret." "What's that thing in your ear?" "It's my Bluetooth, friend." "Everyone has them around here." "It's a business thing." "You don't know what it is, do you?" "Not really." "Do you know what it is?" "No." "I think you use with a phone." "Aah.." "I see." "Ah yea." "That makes sense." "Bret." "I think about getting the band back together." "Oh really?" "Yea." "I thought you were doing pretty well with the tape." "The tape's no replacement for you, man." "Really?" "No, it broke." "What about it?" "The original lineup." "You, me..." "You and me." "I don't know, man..." "Look at me." "I've changed, I've grown up, I've..." "I've got a job, got a career..." "I drink coffe now." "Ugh." "Guh." "Yuk!" "I don't know if I can do it anymore." "I don't even know waht you're talkin about, man." "Just join the band!" "No, I'm not joining the band." "Join the band!" "I'm not joing the band, man!" "Join the band!" "No!" "Free phones!" "You've given up the dream, Bret!" "I've woken up!" "I'll see you at home!" "OK man!" "Hey, go get some milk!" "Yea." "Well I'll see what I can do." "Yea." "I've got a 5 o'clock." "And a 6 o'clock." "I'll pencil you in." "Yea, seven point three." "Alright, bye." "Hey man." "Hey." "What's that?" "Hamburger." "Looks amazing." "Hey, you finished with that?" "I haven't started." "Do you want to join the band?" "No." "What is that?" "How's the band going?" "I'm not in the band anymore." "I had to quit." "Really?" "Yea." "They wanted me back, but I was just concentrating on signs and... my career and everything, you know." "Are you gonna start another band?" "No." "Probably not." "Think I'll do other things." "Signs?" "!" "Yea." "Thought you loved signs." "Signs are OK." "Yea." "I prefer bands." "You prefer bands?" "!" "Yea, I love bands." "Oh.. you really?" "You just never..." "I'll see you later, Bret?" "Cool." "Yeah." "I'm back in the band." "I'm back in the band!" "Put the cat down." "We can't afford it." "I'm back in the band!" "OK, it's been a very difficult decision, cause many of you are very talented, alright?" "Some of you are too talented." "Josh, is it?" "At the back there." "High scores, but a little arrogant, alright?" "But it's not about talent, OK?" "It's about the look." "That's why we've decided to give the job to..." "Brent." "Alright, well done." "It's not about talent, as I say, you're not the talented one." "But you do look very similar." "And with one letter difference, it's quite easy to just do the transition there." "Hang on." "Bret, is that you?" "What are you doing here?" "You have no business here." "I want to get back in the band." "If you turned up half an hour ago, you could have been at the audition." "It's too late." "Brent's in the band." "What about your job?" "Well, Eddie says I could make the job fit around the gig, so..." "He wants to support the band as much as possible, actually." "He made us this sign." "Wow." "Hot dogs." "Oh." "Not that one." "That one." "Oh, wow, that's fantastic." "Yea, it's really great." "You know, Jemaine really missed you." "No, I didn't." "You did!" "No I didn't." "You did." "You, you did." "He did." "No, a little bit..." "You could see that..." "We both missed you." "Oh, erm, sorry everyone!" "Bad news, guys." "This is Bret, he's gonna take the position." "So, that's it, I guess." "What about Brent?" "Yea, Brent, um..." "Sorry." "We'll keep your number." "On file." "The rest of you - thanks a lot." "Have a good day." "And yea..." "Welcome back, Bret!" "SUBTITLES BY THE BOOM!" "TEAM"