"[Burly rustic music]" "♪" "[Rootsy rock music]" "♪" "♪" "[Cell phone ringing]" "Bonk!" " Oh, sorry." " You're fucking useless." "You know that we have to get out of this place today." " I--I said I'm sorry." " Yes." " Punk." " I'll get you a box." " Hello." " Hello, Charlie?" " Oh, no." " What?" " Hey, mom." "I was just packing." "I'm moving out of my house." " Charlie, listen." "I've spoken with your father." " You guys never talk." " I haven't been able to reach you in an entire week, Charlie." " I don't know why you're calling me right now." "You knew that I was moving out today." "I mean, I'm really busy." "I have a ton of stuff to pack." " Yes, I know." "Did you know that it's almost noon?" " Of course." "I just got back from the gym." " Oh, come on, Charlie." "I'm your mother." "Charlie, what are you doing with your life?" " What do" " I should have insisted that you get that m.B.A." "Oh, I don't know what I'm getting so upset about." "Who knows?" "Maybe you'll be-- maybe you'll-- you'll..." "Be something." " What-- what are you talking about?" " We've decided to cut you off." " No--I mean--what?" "You're doing what?" " We're stopping, Charlie." "We're done." " Mom, I just graduated." "Come on." "I--of course I'm gonna find a job, but I want to find a good job, and so I'm gonna take my time to find it." " I spoke with James whittaker." "[Menacing string music]" "He's had your resume for months, and you haven't had the decency to call him back." " You're cutting me off because I didn't call James whittaker?" " You have to get a job, Charlie." "You have to support yourself." " Support myself?" "What do you mean?" " Listen, Charlie." "No." "We've decided to give you some money to help you get started, but you have to be responsible and independent." " Mom" " I'll have my assistant transfer $5,000 to your account." " $5,000?" " Oh, and listen, Charlie, please don't call your father." "This is the first thing in the last ten years we've decided together on." " Okay." "Thanks." " Who called?" " That was my mother." "And not carrying good news." "I am no longer a welcome member in the Edwards' household." "They've cut me off, and I was given a severance fee of $5,000 and a nice pat on the ass." "Can't go home." "Can't stay here." " You know, at least you got that five grand." "I mean, that's workable." " It's not much to work with." "That's, like, what," "I don't know, three months of rent?" " No, Charlie, look." "You could buy something nice for yourself, you know, get a fucking maid." "You could go somewhere." "There's all types of shit that you can do with five grand." " Yes, like go somewhere, somewhere far away." "Charlie Edwards takes his last hurrah, ride into the sunset with his two-string guitar." " [Chuckles]" " [Imitates metal guitar solo]" " You're a fucking clown." " I should really learn how to play this thing." "Into the box." "[Upbeat rock music]" "♪" " [Whistles]" "[Tires squealing]" " I am your captain who is speaking." "We have reached our cruising altitude of 10,000 meters." "Flying time to Rome is estimated at 7 hours and 45 minutes, piu 'o meno." "We have turned off the seat belt sign, and you are now free to move about the cabin." "If you feel very free, move into my cabin." " I have no corkscrew." "We have to suffer." "Magic." " It's the American way to open a bottle." " Well, please have the first drink." " Thank you." " The cork is inside, so we're going to have to finish it." " Thank you." " I smell wine." "What kind of wine do you have?" " I mean, see for yourself." " Ah, no." "Let me see the other one." "Give me." "Give, give." "Ah, negroamaro." "This is from salento, near my home." "We will drink this one." "Della bologna." "Nice to meet you." "Ciao." " Ciao." " Lele." "Ciao." "Lele." "Ciao." "Ciao." " Open, open." "Open this bottle." " God, I'm not gonna feel my finger for a month." " A month?" "A month is nothing." "My whole life, I want to come to America." " And?" "Did you have any fun?" "[Sirens wailing]" " Please." "Let me stay here!" "Tell her, bitch!" "I want to be an American." "Tell her!" " Fellas, put him back on the plane." " [Speaking italian] No, no!" " You can't say that to a woman in America." "Maybe, like, you should have taken another English class before going." " His English is not so bad." " Grazie." " My American friend, I am sorry." "I did not mean to insult." "We need more dialogue between our countries." " Yes!" " We need to fix this relationship between Italy and America, no?" "We need to talk." "Principessa." "Prettylady." "What's your name?" " Alessia." " Alessia?" "[Speaking Italian]" " So, alessia, why were you in New York?" "Were you in America?" " I was there for one year, but when I broke up with my boyfriend," "I decided to come home." " Broke up with your boyfriend?" "It's so sad." "[Speaking Italian]" " Also because American men are so full of themselves." " Si,i'd agree." "American men are so full-- agree, agree." " Lele, what do you do?" " I am the king of bologna." " You're the king of bologna?" " [Mockingly] You're the king of bologna?" "Yes, I am the king of bologna." "Charlie, come visit me in bologna, and I will show you the city." "It's my city." "It's my kingdom." "Here is my card." "Take it." "Alessia..." "[Speaking Italian]" " But-  [speaking italian] Later." "So..." " Uh, lele." "[Both speaking Italian]" "[Swaggering big band music]" "♪" " I'm sorry." "Do you want your book back?" " Uh, no, I don't need it anymore." "Thank you." " Attention, all passengers." "Rome airport has phoned us." "They say there is much traffic, so we have to go in a circle and wait." "I tell them there is not so much gas left." "But don't worry;" "It's not true." "I was trying to get to the front of the line." "They say, "okay, you have to land in napoli."" "I try to say, "no, no,"" "but they turn off the radio." "We will be on the ground soon, and then go to Rome by bus." "Once again, thank you for flying m.I.A." "[Upbeat rock music]" "♪" " Uh, I'm sorry." "Yes?" "That's like" " Charlie, hey." "Lele." "It's lele from the airplane." " Hey." " Hey." "You like the girls with the money too, yes?" "Eh?" "[Laughs]" "Yes, I know." "Hey, Charlie." "Now, let's go." "The airport is great." "It's full of-- - [Speaking Italian]" " It's full of girls." "Hey, this is my business card." "From bologna." "It's wonderful in bologna." "Let's go." "[Speaking Italian]" "Charlie!" "Charlie!" "Ho!" "Charlie!" "I want to say sorry about the girl." "But..." "She lied." "She lied." "No buffer thong." "No underwear at all." "Nothing." "Just a big, big, big bush." "Trust me!" "Believe me!" " [Laughs]" " Oh." "Stop, stop, stop, stop." " Okay, okay." "Hold on." "Here, here, here." "I've got-- try this-  no, no, not the flag." "No, no." "No, no." "[Speaking Italian]" "[Cell phone rings]" " [Speaking Italian]" " No worries." " No worries." " No worries." " Thank you." "Hey, man, come visit me in bologna, no?" "It's great there!" " Yeah, but-- - take it!" " [Speaking Italian]" " All right, listen, man," "I'm gonna go to Rome, but then if my path takes me there," "I will come visit you in bologna." " I knew that you would come, my friend." "Wonderful!" "Mwah!" "Come, but maybe before you finish all the money, eh?" "The $5,000." "Mwah!" "Bye, ciao." " Bus to Rome." "Bus to Rome." "Welcome to napoli." "[Speaking Italian]" "Do you want pizza?" "[Speaking italian] A pizza?" "[Both speaking Italian]" " No." "It's more than fast food." "Two hours in Rome." " Good morning." "Good morning." " This the-- the other passengers?" " Uh, one passenger." " Ah, good morning." " No." " No, they are tourists too." " They're tourists?" "No, no, no, I" "I'm not-- - [Speaking Italian]" " No, no, no!" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Men speaking Italian]" " Charlie Edwards." "New York." "American." " [Grunts]" " ♪ New York, New York" " a cheap telephone." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Singing in Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Men speaking Italian]" "[Cell phone ringing]" " [Yelling in Italian]" " [Imitating driving sounds]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[All speaking Italian]" "[Shouting echoes]" " [Playing harmonica]" "[Engine turns over]" "[Tires squealing]" " Ho!" "[Shouting in Italian]" "[Upbeat rock music]" "♪" "[Beeping]" "[Cows lowing]" "[Festive music]" "♪" " Buongiorno, don farina." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " Don farina-  shh!" "[Speaking Italian]" "[Sniffs]" "[Speaking Italian]" " [Sniffs]" "[Speaking Italian]" "[All inhale deeply]" " [Speaking Italian]" " Si." "Si." " Yeah." "[Chuckles]" "[Banging on table]" "[Upbeat rock music]" "♪" " Hi." " Good evening." "How could I help you?" " I need to report a robbery." "I got robbed." "I was on vacation here, and I'm American." "They took all of my money." "They took my passport." " Oh, that office is closed for the day." "In fact, for the weekend, and I don't have permission to handle emergency passports." " Uh, I need a passport." " Nope." "Can't do anything until Monday." "You could expedite it for $300, but it'll take a few weeks." " Um, what's your name?" " Jenny." " I'm Charlie." "Can I use your phone?" " Sure." " Is it free?" "[Cell phone ringing]" " Hello." " Hey, dad." " Oh, hey, Vicky, what's up?" " Dad, it's Charlie." " Oh." "[Chuckles]" "I'm sorry, Charlie." "What's going on with you?" " Do you remember that money that you and mom gave me?" "I used it to go to Italy." " Oh." "Well, that's not what we expected you to do with it, but okay." "Long as you get a job when you come back." " No, no, dad." "You don't understand." "I got robbed." "They took my wallet." "They took my passport." "They took my phone." "Um, I need help." "I'm at the embassy in Rome." " That's unbelievable." "Charlie, that's great." "You got robbed!" "That's a character-building experience!" " Dad-  do you remember the time, when I was your age," "I was rafting in the Amazon, and I went over the waterfall, and I had to eat caterpillars for two weeks before I was found by the hunters of amoaxaca tribe?" "Well, this is your waterfall, Charlie." "This is your Amazon." ""I must go down to the sea again..."" " Dad!" " "The lonely sea and sky," ""and all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by..."" " Dad!" " "And the wheels kick and the wind's song..."" " Dad, I need money." "I need you to send me some money." " Money?" "[Scoffs]" "Charlie, you don't need money." "You have everything you need." "I didn't raise an idiot." "Be safe." "Be smart." "Be alert." " All right." " And, son, how I envy you." "Good luck." " Thanks, dad." "Yeah." "Bye." "Can I make another phone call?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." " [Sighs]" "[Cell phone ringing]" " Hello." "Who is this?" " Mom." " Charlie." "This is a strange number." "Where are you?" "Are you in jail again?" " Jail?" "No, no, mom." "I'm in Italy." " Where?" " Rome." "Mom, I decided that I didn't want to throw my money away." " It's your money." " Oh, mom." "Here's the thing." "Um, I don't have it anymore." " Why?" " W-well, um, I had it in cash." " That was stupid." " No, no." "No, mom." "I didn't spend it or lose it." "I got robbed, and you need to cancel the emergency credit card." " Oh, I have already." " You did?" " Yes, so why are you calling?" " Because, mom," "I thought maybe that you could wire me a little money." "Or get me a plane ticket home." "Plane ticket would be perfect." " Didn't you understand "cutting you off," Charles?" " Of course, mom." "But I just thought maybe that you knew somebody who could help me speed things along to get a new passport." " Yes." " You do?" "Who?" " Whittaker." "[Clock ticking ominously]" "He works at the state department." "You were supposed to call him, but you seem to have blown him off and gone to Italy." " Look, I've got to go." "The place is closing." "I'm going to, um..." "I'll call you later." "Thanks." "That's it." " Nobody else?" " Nope." " [Sighs]" "Sounds like you had a rough day." " Could say that." " You know what?" "You know what?" "I'm about to finish up here." "If you want to hang outside for a couple minutes," "I can get you washed up." " What, is there, like, a hose out there?" " [Laughs]" "No." "I mean, you can clean yourself up at my place." " Really?" " Yeah." " Okay." "Um, thank you so much." "Take your time." "I'm not in a hurry or any" "I'm--thank you." "Um..." "Outside." " [Chuckles]" " Bye." "[Upbeat pop music]" "♪" "So do all the embassy walk-ins get to come back to your place?" " Only the really pathetic ones." "Dude, you need a beer." " Thanks." "And also for letting me stay here." " No problem." " Everything's closed till Monday, huh?" " That's right." "This is Italy." " What's a good way to get deported?" " What?" " Like, nothing violent." "Just, you know, quick, free, easy ticket home." " Dude, anything bad enough to get you deported is gonna get you on the no-fly list, and then you're stuck here anyway." "It's a catch-22." "Mm-hmm." " Really?" " [Snorts]" "No, idiot." "Oh, my God." "Come on." "Get up." "Why don't you come with me?" "Dude, here's a pillowcase." "And since they haven't invented air conditioning yet," "I assume you don't need a blanket." "Leave early, and shut the door behind you, like this." "[Bell tolling]" "[Door creaking]" " Jenny." "[Speaking Italian]" "Jenny." "[Clattering]" " Ah!" "Shit!" "Hi." "Um, oh, my-- I'm sorry." "I overslept." "I shouldn't be here right now." "Jenny told me to leave." "She was doing me a favor." "She let me stay here." "I got robbed." "Do you speak English?" "Um..." "[Chuckles nervously]" "Is this your boyfriend?" " Charlie, shut up." "Gianpaulo..." "[Speaking Italian]" " I'm just gonna-- I can leave now." "[Sultry music]" "♪" "I'm going to bologna." "I know the king of bologna, and I can go and stay with him." "I was invi--I have" "I am just gonna get my pants here, and I-- where's the door?" " Come with me." " Bye." "Thank you." "[Kisses]" " [Whistles]" "For free, this is the only ride in town." " Nothing happened with Jenny." " I am sure nothing happened with Jenny." " Thanks." " [Speaking Italian]" "[Upbeat rock music]" "♪" " ♪ ooh, ooh, ooh" "♪ ooh, ooh, ooh" "[tires squeal]" "♪ Charly mcclain" "♪ walking down the street" "♪ I listen to your voice" "♪ wasting my time" "♪ the day starting', ounce of tryin' ♪" "♪ to make up my mind" "♪ 'cause everything you said" "♪ it sat around instead" "♪ gaze at the big blue sky" "♪ I'm daydreaming away, away, away ♪" "♪" "♪ my dreams have fallen" "♪ fallen in the deep" "♪ but I'm still calling" "♪ your name" "♪" "[Doorbell buzzing]" "[Dog snarling]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Dog growling]" " Wrong apartment!" " [Speaking Italian]" "Charlie, my friend!" " Oh, right apartment." "Hello, there." "This is pisa." "Badoo." " [Speaking Italian]" " Come in, come in." " [Muffled shrieking]" "[All speaking Italian]" "[Bell rings]" "[All speaking Italian]" " No." "[All speaking Italian]" ""King of bologna."" "[Speaking Italian]" "[Yelling]" " I think you need this." " Thank you, my man." " Charlie, what brings you so soon to my city?" " [Coughs]" " My city." "My city." " I don't want to talk about it." "Let's talk about any-- anything else." "What's the celebration?" " Celebration?" "Oh, celebra-- this is from Valentina." "She brings the wine from her father's restaurant." "Now that you are here, we will have a real celebration." "Okay?" "[Speaking Italian]" "I'll be right back." " [Groans]" " Ciao." " Hey." " Valentina." " Uh, Charlie." " American." " Yeah." " From where?" " Uh, from New York." " Ah, New York." "Is that for me?" " Yeah, I-- if you think lele is okay with that." " Lele?" "[Laughs]" "Because you're thinking that lele and I..." "[Laughs] Oh, no." "No, no." "Oh, you're so silly." "No, we are friends." "We grew up together." " Oh." "Oh." "Cheers." " Oh, cheers." " Hey, let's get ready to go out." " [Speaking Italian]" " Grazie." " Charlie, be careful." "If you want to put your biscuit in Italian meat, just follow me, and maybe you'll learn something." "[Upbeat pop music]" "♪" " Bologna is the city of porticoes." " Oh." " Yeah." " Huh." " It's like the city protects you from the rain." " Wish it protected you from the dogs, right?" "No, um, you know?" "It's not always bad to get rained on." " Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "How long are you staying?" " Uh, you know, I don't really know." "I should probably get, like, a job or something." "But, you know..." "What are you doing tomorrow?" " Lunch with my family." "Why?" " Maybe we could hang out or something." " ♪ Love is in the air" " [speaking Italian]" "[Horn honks]" "If you stay, I would like to see you again." " Really?" " Yeah." " Okay." "For sure." " Ciao." "Ciao." " No, go ahead." " Oh, lele!" " [Speaking Italian]" "Bella, Bella." "[Both speaking Italian]" "[Subdued pop music]" "♪" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "Due rum e pera." "Two rum and pear." " Acqua con ghiacco." "Water on the rocks." " Rum and pear?" " Yes." "Listen, first drink some pear so the bad stuff go down easy." "Like..." "Deep throat, you know?" " Preparation is the first step to success." " [Speaking italian] Salute." " Cheers!" " Charlie, check?" " Testing." "Testing, one, two." " Check, check." "You there?" "Hey, guys?" "Hey, Charlie?" "You have reached the sexy girl hotline." "For big boob Sarah, press one." "For amazing bush romina, press two." "For transsexual Jessica, press three." " Okay, come on, lele." " Oh, what a choice." "You have selected the best choice:" "Lele." "Yeah, man." "Oh, your voice make me so horny." "Spank my ass more." "Spank my ass more." "Yeah, like this." "Treat my ass like a dumpster." "Oh, yes." "Again and again." "Oh, yeah." " [Laughing]" "Okay, man." "I think this can conclude our tour of bologna." " Oh, come on, man." "I'm kidding." "I'm Italian, you know?" "Turn." "Turn around." "Charlie, are you happy to stay here in bologna with me?" " Yeah, you know, I wish" "I mean, I wish it'd have been my choice, but, nah, whatever." "It's awesome being with you, man." "You turned a bad situation into a good one, and what else can you ask for, you know?" "It's far away, but I feel almost..." "At home?" " Brother." "We're a lot closer than you think." " All right, well, a little distance is fine, huh?" " Okay." "Okay, let's go." " Bella bologna." " Eh, bologna's beautiful." "Come on, I'll show you the best part." "See how many girls there are in my city." "See?" "It's full." "It's full of girls." "Talk." "Talk to them." "Talk." " Lele," "I don't have a problem talking to girls." "But I have a" "I don't like to talk to girls like you like to talk to girls." " What?" " I think it's a translation thing, really, because you're--you go this over-the-top kind of love stuff that, if you were to say it in English" "I mean, at least in America, if you were to say it in English," "I think you would probably get arrested." " Charlie, Italian girls are different." "They all think they are principessa, and Valentina more than the rest, you know?" "Be romantic, sweet." "Not drunk." "Not drunk." "And you have to make love." "Like, gently." "Make love gently." "And then..." " Yeah?" " In the end of the night, when everything is finished, let her to fell asleep in your arms." "Sweetly." " Dude," "I don't know." " Yeah, no." "You know." "Now you know the pregame." "Because, you know, around 4:00, 4:30 A.M., it's like, "hey, baby." "Wake up, wake up," you know?" "We wake up, and now, and you have to be strong like this." "Like long, long, long, short, long, long, short." ""Oh, you want a pounding?"" "Be strong!" "Be a real man!" "You know, like, "choke me!"" "Choke me, spank me, you know?" "[Speaking Italian]" "Like..." "[Speaking Italian]" "Understand?" "Whoa, I'm a man." "Feel my power, baby!" "Feel my power!" "I understand just one thing." "That tonight, you have to sleep this time in my bed alone." "You know?" "Alone." " Where are you gonna sleep?" "[Cell phone ringing]" " Don't worry." "Hey, amore." "[Speaking Italian]" "[Dog growling]" "[Dogs whining]" "[Dog panting]" " Morning." " Are you cooking something?" "I'm starving." " Aioli." " What?" " Olive oil and garlic." " Uh..." "Is it, like, pasta?" " The best pasta in the world." "To make the perfect aioli is a combination of science, instinct, and heart." " You think..." "Come to Italy, eat well, meet some nice girls, have some nice wine." "But, you know, stuff costs money here too." " You need some [Clicks tongue]?" " Yeah." " Should come work with me." " You have a job?" " Make some easy money, meet some easy girl." " Sounds easy." " But you have to eat first." "On the house." "Enjoy." " Where we going, man?" "I mean, are we lost or something?" " No." "Why?" " I don't know." "We've been walking for a while." " We gonna take bikes." " We're gonna take bikes?" " Yeah." " So we can't take them from the house?" "I mean, Christ." " You stay here." " Okay." "What, you gonna take a piss?" "Badoo, are you stealing those bikes?" " No, no, no, no." "We're not stealing." "Come on." "We take them so we can sell them." " What, back to the people that own them?" " Charlie, these bikes are a resource of the community." "Like crops, you know?" " No!" " When they go from one to another one." " Oh, okay." " You find it on the beach." " That's disgusting." " Charlie, seashells." "Come on." "Now those people, they can get new, better bikes." "They happy with that." " Well, that's stupid." " Okay, Charlie, the chain is already broken." "If we leave them here, someone could steal them..." "From us." "Can you believe it?" "Get this one." " No, look, badoo." "I'm not stealing some chick's bike." " My God." "Take this one." "A men bike." "Take it." "Come on." " [Yelling]" "[Aggressive rock music]" "♪" " Bikes." "Bicicletta." "[Speaking italian] Bikes." "Bikes!" "[Speaking Italian]" " How much?" " 40 Euros, the sandwich, and it's yours." " 40 Euros?" "Does it come with the bolt cutters?" " No, those are his." " Huh." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Are you sure you need this bike?" "I mean, it's obviously stolen." " Sure." "[Bell ringing]" " Where are you guys from?" " San Francisco." "Here." "Sold." "Where are you from?" " Uh, New York." " Oh, yeah?" " What are you doing here?" " Um, I getting my master's in international law." " Oh." "Uh..." " I'm Vicky, by the way." " Charlie." " Nice to meet you." " Elsy." " Hey." "Uh, that's badoo." "Uh, he's the roommate of a friend of mine." " Are you finished with that?" " Does it look like I'm finished?" " [Sneers]" " We should probably go." "He looks like he's gonna steal your friend's sandwich." " Okay." " You fucking Americans, always wasting food." " Wow, he's really charming." " And he did it." " Well, he just took her sandwich." " He stole my fucking sandwich." " [Yells in Italian]" " Look, don't worry about." "Well, we'll see you guys around." " I'd buy you a new one, but he took the money too." " Let's just go." "Let's just go." " See you around maybe, all right?" " Okay." " Hey, I've cooked a wonderful meal for you." "Special meal." "Aioli." "Badoo is from lecce." " Fuckin' aioli." "[Groans]" " How did work go?" " Well, he made 40." " Badoo, I want my half." "I'm going to get some real food." " There's enough." " After legal costs, you get 10." "You got change?" " We're partners." "We will invest this money in a bet." " Is robbing me, like, the national Italian sport?" " No, no, no." "This bet is on the real national sport." "Calcio." " What?" " Today is a game day." "Italia-francia." "[Cell phone ringing]" "[Speaking Italian]" "Si, si." "Ciao." "Ciao bello." "Ciao." "Ciao." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Laughs]" "[Conversation in Italian]" " What's going on?" " Joanna's got the chicken pox." " Eh, we need a player, huh?" "Four Italians." "Five French." "The odds are even." "[Bell tolling]" " Hey!" "Hey, hey!" " No, no, no, no." " We need another player." " Not carmine." " Come here." "[Ominous electronic music]" "♪" "[Cheering]" "[Rollicking blues music]" "♪" "[Cheering]" "♪" " Oof!" " Whoa, whoa, whoa." " Hey, hey, hey." " [Speaking Italian]" "[Cheering]" "♪" " Pay." " [Speaking French]" " Hey?" " [Speaking French]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Both speaking Italian]" " Lele, lele, lele." " [Quietly] Ah, fuck." "Ciao." "Ciao, carmine." "Ciao." " You play well." "You play very well." "I like you, American." "[Dogs barking]" " Il pisa." " Charlie, sit." "It's almost ready." " Everybody, I shave!" " What?" "You like looking like you're 12?" " And when I cut my hair, I look five years younger." "Lele, let us see." " [Singing in Italian]" "I shave!" "[Groaning laughter]" " Oof." "That looks like a Turkey." "It's got a beak and a gobble." "Why did you do that?" " You asked me to." " What?" " To let you see." " Ah, you mean why I shave." "Listen." "Last night, I bagged this amazing v.I.P. Waitress." "We shave each other in the shower." "Was very romantic." "Very sexy." "And then, the next day," "I shave again for another girl, and so for another girl and another girl, and again and again." "Now I have to shave every single day." "I will never see my beautiful hair ever again." " Guys, aioli's ready." " Ah!" " I'm going for a walk." "[Contemplative pop music]" "♪" " Charlie." "Charlie!" "[Knocking]" "Hey." " Hey." " Ciao." "We meet again." "Are you eating something in here?" " Uh, no." "This is my father's restaurant." " Oh." "It's really nice." " Yeah, thanks." "Would you like to eat something?" "I don't know, like, aioli or-- or..." " Ooh." " You ate some today." " Just a little bit." " Yeah, I know." "Come in." "Here we have the best ragu  in bologna, which means the best ragu  in the world, so, prego." " Thanks." "I, um, flat don't have my wallet." "I left it at lele's." " Charlie, don't worry." "Please." "Sergio." "Sergio." "[Speaking Italian]" "Grazie." " I like the pictures." " Oh, my grandfather collected them." " May I?" " Yeah." "Bravo." " Cheers." " Cheers." "[All speaking Italian]" " Yeah, I know." "It's our secret family recipe." "It seems like the ingredients are randomly added, but each has its own special role." "[All speaking Italian]" " But my father don't tell me the ingredients." " He's the cook?" " Mm-hmm." "He's the boss." " He's the boss." "He's in charge?" " Yes." "Maybe too much." "He's a little overprotective." " Everybody needs freedom." " To liberty." "And ragu alla bolognese." "[All speaking Italian]" " And did you score a goal?" " No, but neither did the other team." " Wow." " I was on defense, and there was this guy, carmine, who we played with." "In America, we'd call him a thug." "So he got in a fight with one of them, and this guy, he literally could have walked into the goal and, like, taken the ball and dropped it on the ground, and nobody would have said anything." " [Laughs] Oh, yes." "I know carmine very well." "He works for my father." " Maybe he was just excited about the soccer game." "I didn't mean to-  [laughs]" "Don't worry, okay?" "Don't worry, Charlie." "Carmine is not important." "Have you found a job?" " No." " Have you ever worked in a restaurant?" " Yes." " So you could come work here?" " Here?" " Yes." " Just like that?" " Si." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "Ciao." "Ciao." "Charlie-- oh, God!" " Fuck!" " I am throwing a party tonight at v.I.P." " Tonight?" " Ooh, mama Mia." "Okay, there's not much time, but, hey, it's not a problem." "I am the king." "[Speaking Italian]" " Mm?" "Blech." " [Speaking Italian]" "Ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao." "Okay." "[Speaking spanish]" " Penne alla vodka!" "Mmm!" "Hm?" " Hey." "What's wrong?" " What are you doing today?" " I've got to go work in the restaurant." " What time?" " 5:00." " 5:00." "Your exam's tomorrow at university." " We must stop them." " We will stop them." " We will stop them!" " Yes." " Stop them?" " Yes." "We can stop them!" "We will stop them!" "Okay?" " Okay!" " Finish your pasta." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Grunts]" "[Upbeat rock music]" "♪" "[Bullhorn squealing]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Yelling in Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Cheers and applause]" "[Speaking Italian]" "[Crowd chanting in Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " Bravo!" " It's that guy, Charlie." " I had exams." "I just finished exams." "It didn't do anything." "Don't take them." " Unbelievable." " We should go get your sandwich." " Oh, hells no." "You really think I want to talk to him again?" "Come on." "We got to study." "[Cheers and applause]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Cheers and applause]" "[Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Spits]" "Carmine." "[Speaking Italian]" "[Both speaking Italian]" " Perdonami." " Si." "Perche?" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Both speaking Italian]" " Coffee?" " [Speaking Italian]" " Sergio." " Sergio, si." "Grazie." " Scusi." " Si, si." " [Speaking Italian]" " Il vino." "[Wine sloshing loudly]" "[Distorted instrumental music]" "[Gunfire]" " [Yelling]" " I'm sorry." "I'll get you a napkin." "Um, excuse me." "My God..." " [Speaking Italian]" "Oh, eh?" "What are you doing?" "Charlie." "Eh?" "You better be, because the boss is here, and he doesn't like very much the incompetence." "He is particular." " No, I just lost my balance." "I can get-- I'll be fine." " You can lost work you want, but another mistake like this, and you go in the kitchen, washing the dishes, okay?" " [Speaking Italian]" " Um, I am so sorry, signor ferracane." "I didn't mean to spill the wine on your customers." " [Speaking Italian]" " Charlie." " [Speaking Italian]" " I can stay in here." "Um, I wash the dishes-  no!" "[Speaking Italian]" "Mmm." "Bene, bene." "[Speaking Italian]" " Ah." " [Speaking Italian]" "[Beeping]" "[Dogs barking and growling]" " [Speaking Italian]" " Lele." "Lele." "I need to talk to you." " The strike worked!" "Are you ready for my party?" "Every sexy lady in bologna will be there!" " No, lele, I've been stirring ragu for five hours." "Just listen to me for one second, all right?" " We have no time." "No time for words, okay?" "We have to go." "Come on." " Lele." " [Speaking Italian]" " Look," "I think that Valentina's family--that carmine too" "I think that they're in the mafia." " What?" "No!" "Guys!" "Guys, Charlie has big news." "He suspects that carmine, [speaking italian] Are..." "What?" " They're in the mafia." " No!" "[Derisive laughter]" " Charlie!" "I told you that Valentina's family was particular, eh?" " What?" "Particular?" "Do you even know what that word means?" "[Audio distorts and echoes]" "[Crowd chanting "Charlie"]" " Ah, yes!" "[Shouts in Italian]" " Charlie!" "Vicky." " Vicky." " Elsy." " How are you?" "[Thumping dance music]" "♪" "So the strike today was pretty interesting." " Oh, my God." "You were there?" " Yeah!" "That's why we're here." " I would have been much better if I could-- you know, if they understood English." " I'm sure." "We should try it in America some time." " That's a great idea, now that you guys have completely fucked up our semester." " Oh, come on." "It's not that bad." " You have nothing to lose!" " [Shrieks]" "[Laughter]" "Come on, Vicky." "Let's go--now." "I'm over this." " Really?" " Now." " You have to leave?" " Listen, uh, can we hang out tomorrow?" " Of course." " Okay." "Um, hang on." "Give me this." "Do you have a phone number?" " I don't have a cell phone." " Okay." "Should we meet tomorrow?" "Piazza maggiore?" " Okay." "What time, like 3:00?" "Will you be up by then?" " Yeah." " Yeah?" " Yes!" " Okay." "Bye." " Whoo-hoo!" "Valentina!" " Charlie!" "Ciao!" " Hey, carmine." " Yeah, whatever, man." " You want a drink?" " [Speaking Italian]" " Si." " Ciao." " Yeah." "Ow, Charlie!" "Charlie bit my finger!" "[Laughs]" "I take a picture." " Ah, that's beautiful." " Ah." " But we're not supposed to be here." " Yes, I know." " Carmine, come." "We got a table right here." "It's the best one in the house." " Thank you very much for your kind offer." "But we do have a table reserved for ourselves, okay?" " I want to stay here." " Are you serious, dude?" "Look, we're fun." "It's cool." "Capisce?" " Okay, now you've crossed your fucking line." "Either you step outside with me, or you take a seat, and you stop the shit." " Oh, carmine!" "[Speaking Italian]" "I want to stay here with my boyfriend." " With who?" " Your what?" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "Catch you around, man." "[Throbbing club music]" "♪" " Ciao, lele." "[Door frame crunches]" "[Dog whimpering]" " [Barks]" "[Dog yipping]" "[Contemplative organ music]" "♪" " He practices here every night." "Charlie, come on!" "I can't believe you are so slow." "Follow me!" "I want to show you something." "Okay, enough." "[Panting]" " Are we going somewhere?" " You choose." "Which way?" " Do I look like I know where I'm going?" " [Laughs]" " Look, I think we should talk about carmine for one minute." " Oh, Charlie." "No." "Just choose." " I mean, here seems all right." " Yeah." " ♪ And I don't want to start" "♪ sick of listening" "♪ please don't teach me" "♪ something that I have known" "♪ I know your words are full of romance ♪" "♪ but it won't change my ways" "♪ 'cause I'm sure this time" "♪ the turtle will not win the race ♪" "♪" " Caffe?" " Mmm." "[Groaning]" " [Giggles]" "Buongiorno." " Good morning." " Caffe." " Thank you." "Oh, smells delicious." "I'm kind of hungry." " I will make us a picnic today." " Really?" " Yeah." "Amore." " Amore?" " Amore." "What?" "Lele didn't teach you anything about Italian women?" " Who?" "[Bell tolling and organ music]" "[Cheers and applause]" "[Whirling pop music]" "♪" " Okay, try it." " Hm." " Mmm." "Ah!" " No more, though." "You're gonna kill me." " [Chuckles]" "Mmm." " I think I might look better in these." "Hold on." "No complaining." " Oh, thanks." " What do you think?" " [Chuckling]" " No?" " Oh, yeah." "You're so pretty." "[Cell phone ringing]" "Papa?" "Si." "Ciao." "[Speaking Italian]" "Ciao." "Ciao, ciao." " Your dad?" " Yeah." " He say anything about carmine?" " No." "It was about my party." " Party?" " Yeah, my party tonight." " Hey." " My mom will love you." "Okay, give me back my keys please." " Why?" " 'Cause you drive like an American." " [Chuckles]" "[Yelling]" "[Shimmering pop music]" "♪" " Good morning!" " Oh, my God." "Did you grow, like a pubic hair polka dot in one day?" "Look-  no, these?" "These are mine." "Look." " Oh, my God." "Put something on." "Christ." " Charlie, last night was my greatest success." "We came back here after the party, and we shaved everyone." "And then I had my first menage a six." "And you?" "What did you do?" " I was with Valentina." "No, man, she's amazing." " Valentina." "Well, as long as you are about to die," "I will wake up the girls so you can die happy and with clean balls." " No, thanks." "I am going to see Vicky." " But being with Valentina is not risky enough." "Do you want to make her jealous too?" " Vicky and I are just friends." "It's, um..." "Don't worry about it." "Look, I'm late." "I've got to go." "What the fuck happened to the door?" "[Synth-driven pop music]" "♪" " Charlie!" "Hey." " Hey." "Excuse me." " What's up?" " [Grunts]" "What, is this, like, a law school thing?" " No, no." "It's, um, somebody stole my bike." "It was short-lived, the pleasure of that experience." "So I have to get a new one." "This is a bike auction." "[Cheering]" " So probably all these people have had their bikes stolen, huh?" " Yeah." "Why, are you getting nervous?" " No, I--you know, I don't think I'm wanted here." "Why don't we make a break for it?" " Okay." " All right?" " When do I get my bike?" " Follow me." "♪" "Race you to the end of the street?" " Okay." "Wait, this is me right here." " Oh, um..." " Oh, this is me." " Oh, it's nice." "Listen, I've got to go." "Uh..." " Why don't you come up for a minute?" "Get a coffee?" "I'm on the first floor." " I-I've got to poo." "Bye." " Okay..." "[Sighs]" " Lele, lele, lele." "Lele, lele, lele." " Oh!" "[Speaking Italian]" " Turn off the TV." " [Speaking Italian]" " Turn off the TV." " [Speaking Italian]" " Is that fucking videotape?" " No, it's not fucking videotape." "It's lecce-bari." "Quattro a zero, 2007." " Look, we have a fucking problem with carmine." " So does everyone else." "Carmine is crazy for Valentina." "So maybe you have the worst problem." " Listen to me, man." "He was following me today." "He saw me with Vicky." " Shh." "Now we relax our minds, okay?" "And I think about it." "And the best meditation for me is to watch calcio on TV." " Oh, goddamn it, man." "Are you kidding?" " Now I finish this, and then we can watch lecce-bologna, lecce-udinese, lecce-inter, okay?" "You understand?" "[Speaking Italian]" "Carmine's just an asshole." " Didn't your mom teach you to close the door?" "You know that can be very dangerous." " [Speaking Italian]" " [Chuckles] Get out of my fucking face." "I have a message for you from don farina." " Ah!" "Fuck!" ""I want my package now."" " [Sputtering] What package?" " You know what package." "The one that you stole from my friend vito." " The fucking neapolitan guy?" " Yeah, him." "You know stealing's a very, very bad crime, and possibly the worst thing you guys ever did." " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "You guys are gonna be at Valentina's party tonight." "Well, so will I." "So make sure you bring the package." "Or..." "I will pay a visit to that cute little blonde American girlfriend of yours." "Sit down." "Sit down." "I know the way." " [Sputters]" "Lele, what the fuck was that?" "In English." " Okay." "Carmine thinks Charlie stole from these neapolitan guys, and he did it." "You stole their bus." "So the package must be in the bus." "I call a friend." "They go pick it up." "[Phone line beeps]" "[Frantic violin music]" "♪" " [Screaming]" " [Speaking Italian]" "Ciao, ciao, ciao." "Ciao." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Singing in Italian]" "♪" " Go to the mafia party." " Ciao, ciao." " This is your plan b?" " Tranquillo, tranquillo." "Men in black." "You are so nice." "Valentina gave you the suit, yes?" "Very mafia." "Do something dirty, yes?" "[Applause]" "Ah!" "Some food!" " Lele, just promise me you're gonna take this fucking seriously." "Just--look." "Just do two things, all right?" " Two things." " No talking to girls." " No?" " No drinking." " No drinking." " What?" " Fast hands." "Like "bouffant," you know?" " Buffoon." "Sergio." "Thanks." "[Singing in Italian]" "♪" " Charlie, Charlie." " Vale!" " Ciao." "I have to introduce you to everyone." " You do?" " Yeah." " Lele." " Come with me." " [Speaking Italian]" " Mama." " Si?" " Mama, meet Charlie." " Charlie!" " Uh, buono sera,  signora ferracane." " [Speaking Italian]" " Charlie, welcome." " Signor ferracane." " Listen..." "Just because my wife and my daughter like you doesn't mean I have to." "Try not to cause any more trouble." "Please." " Of course." " Okay?" "Remember." " Hey." "Come with me." " [Speaking Italian]" " Scusa." "My father is in many ways antiquated." " Well, it was nice of him to speak in English." " Valentina, vieni." " See you in a bit." " So, motherfucker, isn't it just great when you meet your new parents-in-law," "American?" "Or shall I call you Mr. Charlie Edwards?" "This belongs to you, right?" "So where's that little package that belongs to me?" " Do you need it now?" " No, I needed it ten minutes ago, motherfucker." " Lele has it." " What?" " I'll go get him." " Yeah." "Unless you want me and my friends to go get him." " No, I'll go get him." " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " Lele." " Charlie, Eleanor." "She's Eleanor." " Eleanor." " Ciao." " We play doctors when we work it." " Stronzo." " Grazie." " What do you mean, "grazie"?" " Lele, come on." "Carmine wants their bag now." "I'd give him a fake one, but I don't even know what it looks like." " [Singing in Italian]" "♪" " Lele, lele." "It's the neapolitans." "And they have a bag." " Maybe it's for carmine." "He doesn't work for free." "You see that bag?" "You see, we want that bag, okay?" "You understand, yes?" " How do we get it?" " Okay." "Step one, lele creates a grand casino, a big mess." " [Speaking Italian]" " Step two?" " Charlie steals the bag." " From the mafia?" " Do you prefer to go on the stage to dance, eh?" " No, I don't want to do either of those things." "That's your plan?" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[All speaking Italian]" " [Singing in Italian]" " [Yelling in Italian]" " Hey." " [Speaking Italian]" " [Mutters]" " [Speaking Italian]" "Send in the clowns!" " [Speaking Italian]" " What's going on?" " Bravi, bravi!" " I hate clowns." " It's a gift from the king of bullshit." " [Speaking Italian]" "[Whistles tweeting]" " Do you remember when we were talking about carmine the-- look, it's really important." "Um..." " [Speaking Italian]" " I can't tell you know." "It's too late." "I've got to go." " Di napoli." " Ah, di napoli." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " If you want a plate, we can use my plate." " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Horns honking and whistles tweeting]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Clears throat]" "[Speaking Italian]" "Valentina, Charlie?" "Where are you?" "Come on up the stage." "Come-- [Speaking Italian]" "[Applause]" "[Speaking Italian]" "Why don't you give us a toast in English, huh?" "Don't be shy." "Come on." "Do toast in English." "Come on, man, huh?" "Take it away." "[Applause]" " Scusa." " You know, it's kind of interesting to be an American in Italy without any money, trying to find, you know, my way home." " [Speaking Italian]" " You know, we in America have a lot of traditions that we brought-- or that we've--you know, that your children have passed down to--I mean, that your parents gave us-- that your ancestors" " [speaking Italian]" " And--but, you know, we have a way of updating those traditions to, you know, kind of suit the modern world." "Um, for example, you know, it's not, like, totally unheard of that a couple would get married in their 40s." " [Speaking Italian]" "[Laughter and applause]" "Clang!" " Oh, shit!" "It's a real plate." " [Speaking Italian]" "I'll kill you!" "[All muttering in Italian]" " Valentina!" "[Speaking Italian]" " Signor ferracane," "I would never hurt your daughter." "Look, she means the world to me." "Please, I would never, ever hurt her." "It was a mistake." " A mistake?" "That was a mistake?" "So when I saw you..." "[Makes kissing noises]" "Kiss that American girl today, that was a mistake too," "Mr. Charlie fucking Edwards?" " No, no." "I didn't kiss any American girl." "She kissed me." "No, listen-  [speaking Italian]" " Look, it's carmine you need to be worried about." "Carmine, he's the one that's working against you." "He's working with those guys over there." " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Growling]" " [Speaking Italian]" " No, no." "He is working with them with some guy named don farina." "[Crowd gasps]" " Eh?" "Farina?" " Boss, boss-  farina?" " [Chuckles]" "[Speaking Italian]" "Please, just let me take care of this fuck." " [Speaking Italian]" "[All speaking Italian]" "[Screaming]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Gunshot]" "[Screaming]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Breathing heavily]" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[All speaking Italian]" " Oh, shit." "Valentina's phone went right to the message." " Give me the phone." "[Speaking Italian]" " Are you talking about fucking soccer?" " No!" "It's just because it's dangerous there." "I thought-- [speaking Italian]" "Hey, it's [Speaking italian] in 20 minutes, okay?" "Bye, bye." " Oh, my God." "He saw Vicky." "We've got to go get her." "Go!" "Go, go!" " Hey, I got a text." "Read it." " 5 bologna, 1 lecce." " No!" "Bologna-lecce!" "No!" "[Speaking Italian]" "Worst day ever!" " Vicky." "[Knocking]" "Vicky?" " Vicky!" " Charlie." " Hey." " What time is it?" " Okay, I know it's kind of late, but we are in trouble, and we got to stick together." " Okay." "[Speaking Italian]" "Go, go, go!" " Where are we going?" "Put me down!" "This isn't funny!" " This is for your own good." " Stop!" " For the tenth time, I am sorry." "We are in trouble with some really dangerous people, and they saw you kiss me outside of your house, and now they think you're part of our group." " Okay, guilty by association?" "That's a fallacy." " Oh, spoken like a true lawyer." "Listen, I'm gonna make sure everything is okay, and then I will personally walk you back up the stairs to your house-- I'll carry you-- and then I'll put you in your bed," "and then--you know what?" "You never have to talk to me again." " Fine, okay, yeah." "Do that and buy me a fucking sandwich, and we're even." " Oh, lele, give me your cell phone." "Do you have carmine's number?" " Yeah, you can find him under carmine mafia." "[Speaking Italian]" " This is so stupid." "This is ridiculous." "[Cell phone ringing]" "[Conversation in Italian]" " Carmine." " Charlie?" " [Speaking Italian]" " Goddamn you, man." "You already caused me a lot of trouble tonight." "Why don't you say hi to a mutual friend?" " Charlie?" "Charlie!" " I didn't know the plate was real!" "I'm sorry!" "I have your bag." "So how are we gonna do this?" " Yeah, I know you have my money and these poor guys' documents." "But I still got your passport and, hey, I got your girlfriend." "So be at the mercato ortofrutticolo at 5:00 A.M. sharp or" "I swear to God, and I hate to say it" "Valentina's not gonna see the light of day." " Let me talk to Valentina again." " No!" " Fuck!" " [Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" " Ortofrutticolo." "The worst place in the world." "Bravo, bravo." "The police don't know where is it, and you have the date at mercato ortofrutticolo." " 5:00 A.M." " At 5:00 A.M." "Aw, full of people, eh?" " You know what, you guys?" "When I got to bologna, I'd lost everything." "I mean, my parents kicked me out on my ass." "They stole my money." "They stole my passport." "But I learned something from you guys." "If you're in, like, a real just clusterfuck of a situation-  clusterfuck?" " Uh, like-  yes, like a menage a trois." " No, no." "Like, um, a grand casino." "Clusterfuck." "You know, like that." "The way that you get out of it is just by throwing right back at it an even bigger clusterfuck." "I'm talking about something so crazy that nobody can imagine what is about, you know, to hit them, right?" "So, look." "In America, we have this idea that we're a melting pot." " Melting pot?" " Okay, I'm gonna do this Italian style for you just so we all understand each other." "Think about a really good plate of pasta." " [Speaking Italian]" " I can't believe this shit." "Um, no, look." "Something your mother would make, like a ragu." "Ragu has a lot of ingredients." "The more you put in, the better it gets." "What, you got some carrots, some celery, some tomatoes-- doesn't matter." "You can add anything, and the best cooks look like they're throwin' stuff in at random." "But they have experience with every ingredient in there." "It's a part of them." "So what looks like a giant pot of clusterfuck becomes the most delicious plate that you guys have." "So listen." "We have our differences." "I mean, where we're from, you know, whether rich or poor, straight or gay, what we need to do tonight is mix up a big clusterfuck of revenge with everything we've got and serve it up cold to carmine and those bastards." "A big, nasty clusterfuck of ragrevenge, alla bolognese." "And I've got the recipe right here and a pot big enough to mix it in." " Clusterfuck." " Clusterfuck!" "[All chanting "clusterfuck"]" "[Jangly rock music]" "♪" "All right, just take any mental notes on any illegal stuff they're doing." " They have guns, and they kidnapped her-- well, yes, you kidnapped me too, so you're even." "Do we have guns?" " We have fire." " Charlie Edwards." "I can see you got my bag." "Okay." "Let me see if the money's inside." " [Speaking Italian]" " This is ridiculous." " [Speaking Italian]" " Now you listen to me." "I'm torching everything in this bag unless you do exactly as I say." "Put the guns down." "[All speaking Italian]" " He still has his gun." "You just gonna let him keep his gun?" " Okay, now what?" " How do you want to handle this?" " Send the girl over when I count to three, and I'll throw you the bag." "One..." "Two..." "Three!" " [Speaking Italian]" " How do we leave?" " Just wait." "[All speaking Italian]" " Just wait for what?" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Dogs barking]" "[Yelling]" "[Boisterous rock music]" "♪" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Yelling]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Cheering]" "[Dogs barking]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Barking and yelling]" " Badoo!" " [Speaking Italian]" "[Dogs barking]" "[All speaking Italian]" " So are you gonna come to New York with us?" " I have to see my father." "Sorry about the plate." " No, I think it's better." "I think you stopped my speech before-- well, you know, I wouldn't want to look like an ass in front of your family." " No, don't worry." "You saved my life." " How romantic." " Vicky." "Sorry about kidnapping you in the middle of the night." "I didn't-- - you're an idiot." " Hey, where are you going?" "Eh?" "I love you." "Breakfast, lunch together?" "I'm rich." "I can-- - vaffanculo." "Give me this." "[Grunts]" "And remember, if you need a lawyer, don't call me." " [Chuckles] "Don't call me."" "[Both speaking Italian]" " Ciao." "Charlie." " It's my passport." " Yes." " Did you look at the photo?" " Oh." "You're so pretty with long hair." " [Speaking Italian]" " Ciao." " Badoo." "[Speaking Italian]" " [Speaking Italian]" "[All speaking Italian]" " Hey, guys." "What the fuck are you thinking?" "Look, that is dirty, dirty mafia money." "We can't flash it around everywhere." "Look, okay, new rules." "No illegal purchases, no flashiness, and this way, the next time we see each other, it's not in jail, okay?" " Okay." " Promise?" " Okay." " [Speaking Italian]" " See you guys." " Ciao." "[Yelling in Italian]" "[Dogs barking]" " ♪ Nothing lasts" "♪ as you have said" "♪ play with fire" "♪ this week" "♪ and I'm afraid" "♪ of it now" "♪ I was told that giving up" "♪ was not a good thing" "♪ for us" "♪ but us is not me" " [shouting in Italian]" " ♪ Sick of listening" "♪ please don't teach me" "♪ something that I have known" "♪ I know your words are full of romance ♪" "♪ but it won't change my ways" "♪ 'cause I'm sure this time" "♪ the turtle will not win the race ♪" "♪" "♪ I've come to this point" "♪ day by day" "♪ I needed proof" "♪ and guess what?" "♪ It came in late" "♪ yeah" "♪ lost more than I would have gained ♪" "[Cell phone ringing]" "Bonk!" "[Peppy rock music]" "♪" " [Singing in Italian]" "♪" "♪" "♪"