"Could you put Richard in the car?" "Why?" "This is Macquarie News..." "Terry Dear reporting." "The people of Australia go to the polls today, to elect a new federal government" "About six and a half million electors are entitled to vote and almost 500 candidates are contesting 125 seats in the House of Representatives." "The main parties contesting the poll, are the Liberal-Country Party coalition led by Mr John Gorton and the Labor Party headed by Mr Gough Whitlam." "Vietnam..." "A new attack on..." "Oh, you've gotta be jokin'!" "You gonna vote Liberal?" "Vote Liberal, sir!" "Channel 9, Mr Gorton..." "Don't you think after 20 years of Liberal government, it's time the Australian voters had a change?" "They've got a chance to have a change now and I'm quite sure they won't take it." "Mr Gorton, what do you have to say about the opinion polls showing a massive swing against you?" "The only polls worth taking any notice of, are the polls taking place today." "From a woman's point of view how do you think you'll appeal to the Australian woman." "I think I'll appeal very well indeed." "Cooley's the name." " Cooley," " Henderson." "7 Wyndham Place..." "Mrs Kath Henderson" "Fill all the numbers in and bring it back to the box." "...in Sydney this afternoon, and expressed confidence over his party's showing in today's election." "Commenting on adverse opinion polls, Mr Gorton said..." ""The only poll worth taking any notice of, is the one taking place today."" "A record 499 candidates are contesting the 1 hundred..." "Pittard send Burke away..." "but he's sandwiched by Parker and Oven." "From dummy-half, Pittard attempts to get South's backs moving but coming up quickly, Balmain continue holding the Rabbitohs in their own territory." "The premiers are being pushed on as the alert Tigers are ready  to capitalise on any errors." "Don!" "Would you be good enough to put crisps around please?" "!" "I'm trying to tune the TV." "People 'll be arriving any minute." "I'm tuning the TV." " You can put some crisps around!" " Picture's rolling." " It wasn't, last night." " Well, it IS now." " It's just the VERTICAL HOLD!" " I've been doing that!" "Well, couldn't you come back to it?" "Come on, darling!" "The guests 'll be arriving any minute!" "Well so what?" "!" "G'day, yucky-bum!" "They MIGHT like something to eat!" "Good evening, James Dibble, at the national election desk in Canberra," "Here tonight to report on what promises to be the most exciting election in decades." "Perhaps even the most exciting since 1949, when the LCP coalition took office." "Our ABC news commentators and journalists agree so far that the figures are far too small to indicate any definite trend." "I'd 've done that!" "But you didn't, DID you?" "!" "There does seem to be some favourable indications for the Labor Party in all 3 states..." "It's early days yet..." "Try and act like a host tonight, will you?" "!" "Since when have I ever been rude to my guests?" "It would help, if did a bit more than point them in the direction of the fridge." "It's all most of them need." "Oh..." "I'd better have..." "It doesn't matter." "A flagon of claret." "I can't see the point of coming to a party if the sole intention is drinking yourself into a stupor!" "Yes, well, that's not the intention..." "We're celebrating the end of 20 years of conservative rule." "Not that YOU'd give a stuff!" "It's just an excuse for a booze-up!" "You may not be..." "But most of the people coming here tonight are going to be very concerned about what happens on THAT!" "Very concerned indeed." " Cooley?" " Yes!" "Since when's Cooley been interested in politics?" "Do you know what he told me the other day?" "He said this election was the most important in the country's history..." "Cooley!" "Bullshit!" "Yo-yo... you're SO romantic!" "Shit, I forgot to vote." "Hey, Suzy... have YOU voted?" "I don't have to..." "I'm only 19." "Really?" "!" "Simon..." "Jody!" "What a coincidence..." "Just talking about you!" " Nothing bad I hope?" "!" " No... on the contrary." "Kath and I were just saying you'd add a touch of refinement at the party." " Hi Kath." " Hello, Jody." "Simon." "Yes, there'll be a few grotty types here tonight I'm afraid!" "Can I take your wrap?" "I hope we didn't come too early." "Oh, no... we're running a bit behind!" "Look, you two go and get dressed..." "Simon and I can look after ourselves." "Dressed?" "!" "We ARE dressed!" "What did you think it was?" "A fancy-dress ball?" "Will you excuse me... ?" "I've got a few things to finish out here." "Just put those in the laundry, will you Simon." "In the marginal new NSW seat, Hume..." "The ALP candidate, Mr Polly has a lead of nearly 100 votes over the sitting Country Party member, Mr Pettit with a little over 900 votes counted." "In Victoria, the ALP has leads in several seats held by the government." "Mr Child is leading the government whip, Mr Fox in Hendy, by about 80 votes but only 700 votes have been counted." "In Hollem, Mr Oldmeadow of the ALP" "Cooking?" "has a lead of 100 over the sitting member Mr Reid with about 1100 votes counted already" "I've over-dressed, haven't I?" "..." "Don't worry about that!" "No one's gonna give a stuff!" "I've got plenty of casual gear..." "But I just didn't think." "What sort of people are coming?" " They're mainly friends of mine." " Are they all Labor?" "!" "Well they're all..." "left-of-centre!" "Should've worn my casual gear." "Where's Don going?" "I don't know." "Did he get you a drink?" "No!" "Did Don get you a drink?" "No..." "I don't think he did." "Don... will you pour your guests a drink?" "!" "He's not here!" "Well, where is he?" "He's in there." " It's alright, I'll pour them." " Thanks, Simon." "Steve and Dawn down last time?" "No, I don't think they could make it." "I think Dawn had something else on." "Oh, that's right, yeah..." "It was just as well in a way, because it rained all afternoon." "Oh, what a pity." "Well it was alright, because I put the barbecue under canvas, just in case." "When it got cold, the guests just came inside." "Don would never think of taking precautions like that..." "He'd just look up at the rain and say..." ""Well, that buggers that, doesn't it!"" "Vermouth and dry, Jody?" "Please!" "Are you having trouble?" "The dry?" "..." "I TOLD Don to get dry." " Don!" " What?" "Did you get that dry ginger?" "Oh, fuck!" "I knew I forgot something." "It doesn't matter..." "gin 'll be fine!" "I wish Don 'd take lessons from YOU!" "I regard the difference between those two figures as very significant because the Australia Party preferences are recommended for Labor..." "Well DLP preferences are recommended for the government." "And whilst we don't know exactly where those figures are coming from..." "They are looking good..." "What is THAT in aid of?" "Just thought I'd embarrass everybody." "Take it off." "He just did it so I wouldn't feel so overdressed." "Take it off!" "Jesus, you're a humourless bitch!" "Come in!" "Must 've come to the wrong address!" "If you're gonna look like a butler, behave like one!" " Of course, m'lady!" " What's all this?" "!" "Fuckin' penguin!" "Bit of a joke!" " How're things?" " Better after tonight..." " D' you think we're gonna win?" " Win?" "!" "You think so?" "Listen, I had a few beers with Whitlam's press secretary last Thursday..." "He reckons they took a private poll which gave Labor 52 percent." "Yeah, some of the big boys are shitting' themselves." " Hello Kath." " Hello Mal." " Have a look at that!" "No crap!" " Beautiful!" " Hello Jenny." " Hello Kath." "Oh, sorry..." "Mal and Jenny... this is Simon and Jody." "Yes, there'll be a new government by midnight..." "make no mistake about that." "You got a beer?" " Vermouth and dry." " Sorry, there's no dry." "I'll get you a gin." "I love your dress!" "Jody, isn't it?" " That's right!" " Terrible with names." "I wish I'd worn something more casual." "No, it's fine." "Type of thing I'd like to wear..." "if we could afford it!" "...for the Liberal Party by the Minister for the Navy, Dr Mackay." "They're early figures, but they do tend to look good for the Labor party." "I take it, Mal, that you'll be happy for a Labor victory tonight." "I take it we all will." "Oh, no..." "I'm pretty neutral." "I'd take it Casey was the litmus seat..." "and I haven't seen anything for Petty yet." "What about YOU Jody." " Are you neutral too?" " Oh, no..." "I vote Liberal!" " Oh that's very courageous!" " What?" "Voting Liberal?" "No... admitting it..." "Very courageous!" "Bet you won't speak to me again now!" "On the contrary..." "Makes you VERY interesting." "Ahoy, everyone!" "Out to the kitchen!" "I'm about to unwrap me 'Pornographic Object'!" "You better all laugh..." "He spent all afternoon on it." "Did you pose for that, Jen?" "He copied it from 'Playboy'!" "Thank you very much, I was going to tell them that I copied it from 'Playboy'." "Right?" "!" " Hi Kath... g'day Jenny!" " Hello, Mack!" "G'day, shithead!" "Where's the dreaded Ruth?" "I've left her." "I'm sorry mate..." "I didn't know." "Who's this gorgeous woman?" "Jody... and Simon..." "That's Mack." " Sorry about the wife." " Shit, I'm not!" "Look!" "Took it myself." " Who IS this?" "!" " My wife!" "You wouldn't pick HER for a librarian, would you?" " You've really left her?" " When?" "Three days ago." "Where are you living?" "Oh..." "I'm still at home." "It was easier for HER to shift out, than me." "Where's Cooley?" "The DLP last year were talking about switching preferences." "And Senator Gair was behind that move." "But they switched back this year." " I know what Gair's been saying in private..." " What?" "Universities should stop teaching courses in politics because they're breeding grounds for revolutionaries." " You're joking!" " I'm not." "You must admit, it's getting a bit much..." "WHAT is?" "When I went to the university, I went there to learn..." "Not to take over the place!" "I don't want to sound offensive, but you sound like a Young Liberal!" "Jody is a self-confessed right-winger." "Really?" "..." "How interesting!" "I never met anyone who voted Liberal, in my life!" "Can't think how they keep winning." "They'll win this one, too!" "Thanks, Don!" "She needs a good, long, hard talking to!" "What do you do, Simon?" "Oh, well, I work..." "Simon's an accountant." "Well, actually, I'm an INDUSTRIAL accountant." "Interesting?" "Oh, yeah... it's not bad..." "It DOES get a little humdrum at times." "Well, I suppose most jobs do, don't they?" "If there was a tiger between the sheets, for instance..." "What does your firm make, Simon?" "Plastic pressings." "Well, have you ever noticed a truck going round a corner..." "You know how they make their road signals using a yellow plastic hand on the end of a long lever..." "Well, we make those yellow plastic hands." "What does YOUR husband do, Jenny?" "He's a professional bullshit artist." "Well, that must be very int..." "Mal's a management consultant..." "He's doing very well at the moment." "No but suck ONE cock!" "Have you got a headache?" " Migraine." " You want an aspirin?" "No... doesn't help." " But thanks for not ringing!" " Would you excuse me for a moment." "You think YOU've got troubles..." "That's a bit unfortunate, isn't it?" "Does Jenny often get headaches like that?" "Only at OUR parties!" "Simon, old crump..." "Do you mind if we tell your wife a dirty story?" "No... why not?" "..." "She's used to it." " He says you're used to it!" " What a bloody liar!" "Now Jody..." "Have you ever hunted ducks?" " No." " Now I don't want to hear anything filthy!" "Well, you wade through the shallows with your rifle at the ready..." "Duck-hunters use shotguns, shit head!" "I like to give the ducks a chance!" "Here I am, the duck-hunter wading through the shallows..." "Wading... wading... wading... wading...!" "Itching for a duck!" "Wading... wading..." "All of a sudden!" "..." "Ooh!" "..." "Nature calls!" "Are you sure you want to hear this?" "Oh, it leaves a nasty taste in the mouth!" " Jody!" " What?" "Would you mind giving the baby-sitter a bit of a ring just to make sure the children went down alright." "Simon, ring her yourself!" "Hey, that might be the old Cooley!" "Hey everybody, this is Evan and Kerry..." "Mack, Mal, Jody, Simon..." "Kerry!" "How's the election going, Don?" "It's a bit early to tell, yet, mate..." "but it looks like a bit of a swing." " Would you like a drink, Kerry?" " Thanks... scotch on the rocks." "Scotch on the rocks!" "This is the first time you've been here since we moved in... years!" " It's nowhere near as interesting..." " Scotch on the rocks..." "Kerry." "But we are starting to get it into shape at last." "Oh, it's very tasteful." "Oh, this is all you, Kath." " Can't see much of Don in it!" " He does the trees!" "Women!" "Yeah... houses and babies." "I knew a couple once who spent every second of their spare time, renovating" "Crazy!" "Well I like renovating." "Oh, well... it's fair enough if you like it, I suppose." "No, I like it." "You've done wonders with that terrace, Evan... it's amazing." "Absolute wreck, when he started." "Did you finish that studio for Kerry?" "Yes..." "last week." "What do you do when you're not renovating, Evan?" "I'm a dentist." "Renovations of the mouth, eh?" "!" "And what do YOU do?" " Plastic pressings." " Mal..." "Psychologist." "Private practice?" "No... not really." "Management consultant!" "Does Kerry renovate?" "She paints." "Dabbles a bit in the oils?" "!" " Dabbles?" "She's had 3 major exhibitions!" " 4!" "4... that's right..." "There was one last month..." "Couldn't get to that one." "Sorry about that." "Very good reviews, though, didn't it?" "!" "Not really." "I thought somebody told me it was very successful." "Well, she sold a lot of stuff..." "but then..." "Well, she's very fashionable..." "at the moment." "Do you know a lot about art..." "Evan?" "A little... why?" "!" "You'd find it hard to communicate with your wife if you didn't, I would imagine." "Evan's doing Fine Arts at the Uni..." "part time." "I gave it up." "Yes, I heard it was a tough course." "Well it crapped ME!" "The plumbing in old houses is terrible!" "It certainly is a very convenient layout." "Yes, but your place is so much more attractive." "All that wrought iron!" "But my kitchen's so tiny, Kath..." "You should try cooking in it!" "I'd cook in HER kitchen, any time!" "Does she play around?" "As long as you're in the top ten of some branch of the arts." "Stick a paintbrush up your bum, and see how you go!" " Have you had a go at her?" " What do you reckon?" "!" "No luck, eh?" "Depends what you mean." "Yes or no?" "Yes and then... no." "Where's that beer..." "a cold beer..." "This is the first summing up of the counting trends to date." "The most significant trend to emerge from the early counting has been the marked swing to Labor a swing of 12 percent..." "The biggest since the present counting system came into operation." "If this trend continues to midnight..." "Labor will form the new government." "On the present figures, Labor is ahead..." "Fuckin' beauty!" "We're in!" "You bastard you told me and I wouldn't fuckin' believe you!" " You hear that?" " Super!" "New government before midnight!" "I hear you're very creative!" "Thank you..." "Are you interested in art?" "Yes, very much..." "I do a lot of photography." "Yes, I've seen your photography." "Is your husband te jealous type?" "No... he's more the brooding type!" "Why?" "Well, to be frank..." "Certain men at this party are going to offer themselves to you... tonight!" "Really!" "I'm afraid that 'certain men' are going to be rather disappointed." "Which ones." "How's it going?" "Oh, it's touch and go..." "But I wouldn't mind having a few dollars on a new government by midnight." "Labor have also taken Sturt!" "Super!" "It looks like we've got Sturt." "...regarded as being a fairly safe Liberal seat held by Mr Ian Wilson..." "Funnily enough..." "I was only having a few drinks with Whitlam last week..." ""Mal," he said, "If we get Sturt, we've got the whole deal."" "You're in politics?" "No, psychology..." "Executive Selection." "Tell me, do you find you're always analysing people?" "It's an occupational hazard." "What can you tell about ME?" "As a psychologist, I can't help feeling that you're physical beauty could have its problems." "Such as?" "Well, to put it quite brutally..." "You have what is called a 'sought-after' quality." "So?" "So you'd have no shortage of alternative offers... which could place your marriage under some strain." "And what if I refused these offers?" "I don't think you would, really..." "Not ALL of them." "What makes you say that?" "It's a feeling and a professional hunch..." "You see..." "A new affair is like an emotional rebirth..." "And I don't think you'd deny yourself that experience." "For instance, if I were to say to you... that I found you very attractive and I'd be delighted that if we arranged to have an affair you wouldn't dismiss it out of hand..." "You'd consider it." " Ye-es." " Yes." "So, let's be frank..." "I do find you very attractive, and I'll be frank, and say that I would like to have an affair with you..." "And how does that appeal to you?" "It DOESN'T!" "Can't win 'em all!" "The night isn't over yet, boy!" "G'day, cunt-features!" " G'day, Kath!" " Hello, Cooley." "This is the guy I was telling you about." "Here... catch!" "What's with the dinner-suit?" "Who are YOU tryin' to fool?" "Watch it boy..." "You're on the North Shore now!" "Weak-lookin' bunch of poofters!" " Where's Mack?" " In there." " Ruth with 'im?" " He's left 'er!" "Hey... that's alright!" "I might have a go at it, later." "Where's your 'Pornographic Object'?" "Here!" "Help yourself!" "G'day Jenny, you old fishwife!" "How you goin'?" " Getting stuck into it are ya?" " I'm gonna screw you, later on." "Back with another migraine?" "I hope YOU get one, one day!" "Yeah?" "I'll get you a drink." "Who's the poon with a poker up his arse?" "!" "Simon Berscombe." "That's his wife..." "Jody." "She likes the look of the brooding monster!" "Oh, my God..." "It's Popeye the Sailor man!" "How you goin'?" "!" "None the better for seeing you, you great turd!" "There's a bullshit artist at every party, and this one's no exception." "There isn't a foul-mouthed lout at every party but unfortunately this one IS an exception." "Party?" "This is more like a morgue than a party!" "Let's hear it!" "...and her lips so red" "She's the only one can make me care" "Now listen buddy, gonna let you know" "She's my baby and I love her so" "Because she's my baby, Gonna keep her for my own" "She's my baby and I love her so" "She's my baby, never let her go" "She's my baby, and I need her so" "Lovin' little honey won't you please be mine?" "Take a trip to Paris, even go to Spain" "Go the whole world over, we'll go round again" "There's nothing can compare with her, I'm glad to say" "She's my little baby and she's here to stay" "Because she's my baby, Gonna keep her for my own" "She's my baby and I love her so" "She's my baby, never let her go" "She's my baby, and I need her so" "Lovin' little honey won't you please be mine?" "Alright, I'm hot, I'm hot...!" "At the present stage of counting, the Liberal-Country Party Coalition is certain to win 53 seats and the Australian Labor Party, 54 with 18 of the 125 seats..." "You really DO vote Liberal!" "?" "Why?" "Just an emotional thing..." "I associate Labor with coarse men in overalls." "I'm not a coarse man in overalls." "It's just an emotional thing!" "Do you tend to follow your emotions?" "Yes, I..." "Would you mind taking your hand off my bottom?" "!" "What would you do if I didn't?" " Knee you in the balls!" "I don't think you would." "Ohh... shit!" "it's about time somebody did that to HIM." "May I...?" "Take it off!" "It's very pleasant music, isn't it?" "You saw what happened to HIM!" "I think you should take things into account." "What things?" "Well... my wife!" "What's that got to do with YOUR hand on my bottom?" "When you've had an emotional shock you need something tangible to hang onto!" "Mind you, I suppose it had to come." "What?" "The bust-up with my wife." "It was MY fault." "You're being very fair." "I'm being more than fair..." "She's a bitch!" "You said it was YOUR fault!" "Yes..." "I'm a bit "off"." " OFF?" "!" " About sex." "I used to like taking photos of my wife." "There's nothing wrong with that!" "She should have felt flattered." "I used to hang them up all round the house." "Those sort?" "!" "And worse." "Worse?" "!" "Yes, I'm "off"..." "There's no doubt about it." "Do you know what I wanted her to do?" "!" "Seduce my friends, and I'd take photos from the cupboard, without their knowing." "I am "off", aren't I?" "No!" "Did she do it?" "Yes." "But she wouldn't let me take the photos." "I'd be flattered if Simon wanted to take some pictures of me!" "Did you get along to the film festival this year?" "No." "Did YOU?" "Yeah... good." "What counts, is Don isn't a handyman..." "and there isn't much you can do about it." "I mean I've just got to plan for it..." "Apart from the satisfaction that manual work gives you the satisfaction of getting the job done properly." "Yes, I suppose you're right..." "Word of warning..." "I'm not easily put off." "I wish I could say the same for myself." "How about introducing me, Malcolm?" "Kerry, this Granger Cooley." "You've heard of me, no doubt?" "I'm afraid I haven't." "YOU should have heard of Kerry." "Why, what do you do?" " I paint." " Paint, eh?" "!" "Yeah, she paints." "What sort of things do you paint?" "Actually, I'm becoming very interested in texture." "Texture, eh?" "Let's have a talk about that later." "They tell me you've left your wife." " SHE left ME." " Yeah?" "Well, you're better off without her." "With all due respect boy..." "YOUR wife is one of the great bourgeois monsters of our time." "Bourgeois?" "!" "She let herself be photographed in the nude and hung up all round the house..." "That's bourgeois?" "!" " You gotta get on to yourself." " Let's not get nostalgic about the bitch!" " It's alright for you mate..." " What do you want to do build her a shrine?" "!" " Bugger me, she was pretty tolerant." " Tolerant?" " Tolerant!" " Look, I wouldn't tell you this under normal circumstances..." " Well, don't tell me!" "But it's about time you knew the truth!" "She was tolerant, alright!" "I went round to your place one afternoon..." "She dragged me into bed a nd screwed me!" "Yeah?" "Yeah..." "Digest THAT!" "You digest this." "I've got a whole role of film of that event taken on a 35mm Nikon..." "on Kodak XXX!" "Using available light!" "They come up a bit grainy when they're enlarged but you've got to expect that from fast film." "You'd better be joking!" "Jody... have you met Granger Cooley?" "Pleased to meet you!" "Did you really take those photographs?" "Don't come on all pious with ME, mate..." "You were screwing my wife!" "A joke's a joke, but you don't set a friend up like this!" "You're in no position to get pious!" "YOU were screwing my wife!" "Fuck!" "You known Cooley long?" "No, not long." "What do YOU do?" "I'm a teacher." " What do YOU do?" " I'm a student." " Are you in town long?" " I'm going back tomorrow." "Granger!" "Have you met my husband, Evan?" "No, I haven't." "How are ya?" "I believe you're a lawyer." "Some of my clients don't!" "I've been hearing that your wife's very creative." " I wish the critics thought so." " Why?" "They been panning ya?" " No... faint praise." " Moderate praise." "If I was a critic, you wouldn't be getting faint praise..." "What are they all?" "Poofters?" "Not exactly." "Do they ever proposition ya?" "It's not really as corrupt as all that." "I tell you what..." "If I came to review some hot young chick's etchings..." "It'd be a case of "No root... no review."" "You must conduct a very interesting law practice." "I'm taking a hammering tonight!" "Hey, Jenny... you seen Suzy anywhere?" "Man comes out after a barbecued chop..." "and look what he finds!" "How's Jenny?" "Shithouse." "What do you two think you're doing?" "Piss off, will ya!" "?" "No..." "I want a bit of sausage." "Let's see you got that I haven't got." "Sex appeal." "Kath 'll kill 'im." "You want another drink?" "No thanks." "You should know enough to come and speak to me." "You're lucky I came to speak to you at all." "Why's that?" "I don't usually make a habit of speaking to hostile bitches in corners." "I don't make a habit of speaking to incorrigible lechers." "No... not here." "Not here!" " Where?" " In there." " In there!" " Inside!" "What about the wife?" "!" " Ask her!" " Ask her what?" " If she minds!" " She minds!" " She shouldn't." "I'll tell her there's some chemistry there." "It's purely physical." "Come on!" "Jesus!" "Hi!" "I was just admiring your décor." "Oh, it's a bit unadventurous." "The trouble with décor is if your tastes change after you've done it, you're stuck with it." "Do YOU ever look at someone and something clicks and you say "Bang!" "I want him!"" " Physically!" " No!" "Do you believe in honesty?" "Yes." "Do you mind if I'm honest?" "No." "I want to screw Don." "...seats in well-to-do harbourside suburbs..." "Mosman and Seaforth..." "up to the northern beaches like Manly... the sitting member Mr Michael Mackellar is very safe there, on 22,000 odd." "The seat of Wentworth in the eastern suburbs similar to Warringah..." "Honest, Grange!" "..." "Your taste in women is becoming more adolescent as the years go by." "Just a minute!" "Susan's very intelligent." "Fuck!" "Big tits, cow eyes..." "vacuous chatter." "I think you've started your middle-age virility fantasies already!" "What happened to your receptionist?" "SHE was nice!" "She had a virgin brain!" "No original thought had ever penetrated!" " She WAS a bit..." " Dumb!" "At least she was over 18!" "You've got a prejudice against older women!" "No!" "When I was 17, I stuffed a 50-year old barmaid in the old man's pub." "She just kept saying..." ""Thank you!"..." ""I meant YOU!"" " How did she take it?" " She didn't say anything." "She's on anti-depressants?" "She'd 've told me." "D'you think I should go and talk to her?" "Yes, I think you should." "You see, I'm interstate quite often, Canberra, and that sort of thing..." "How's your old man treating YOU?" "Oh..." "I'm a little bitch to him sometimes." " Bugger 'im!" " Oh, I'm neutral!" "He's certainly been following that Kerry woman round, like a puppy dog." "I wouldn't worry." "I'm not!" "He's only ever made it with one other woman since we've been married." "So surprised, he ran home to show me the scratches on his back!" " Oh, sorry!" " No... on you go." "Do you know many of the people here?" "No... do you?" "No..." "I think they're mainly Don's friends." "Pretty extrovert lot, aren't they?" "I think they're a bunch of shits!" "Yeah!" "The most outstanding feature of this election..." "We've got 'em rooted, son!" "We'll piss it in, mate!" "Sorry to say this, love... but it looks as if the Libs have had the Richard." "Oh, well I suppose a change won't do all that much harm!" "Might even do a bit of good, too..." "you know..." "In small ways..." "like health, education, social welfare." "Shut up, shithead!" "I'm having a serious political discussion..." "If you don't want to participate, piss off!" " How old IS your youngest?" "Have you ever sat down and really thought about what you're doing in life?" "We've got a very clear idea of what we're doing." "Yeah... planted in your skull, by some advertising copywriter." "Bosh!" "Would it be true to say that YOU are contemplating selling your $40,000 house and taking out a mortgage on a $60,000 dwelling?" "How did YOU know?" "Never mind about that, but what I would really like to know is what are your motives for this particular piece of insanity?" "I'll hit you with my beer mug in a minute." " I'm thinking of having another baby." " You don't have to answer him!" "Oh, I'll answer him!" "You can't get pregnant in a $40,000 house..." "It's too cheap and nasty, is it?" "We need the space!" "Bullshit!" "You've got 4 bedrooms already!" "I'll tell you what it is!" "..." "I'll tell you what it is..." "It's status!" "That's what it is..." "the whole thing's status..." "S-T-A-T-U-S!" "The government's been in power for a long time..." "It's begun to run out of ideas..." "It's begun to get panicky." "The opposition's beginning to look for the first time like a really good alternative government." "How much has it cost the Labor Party to fight this election in New South Wales alone?" "About $200,000." "Are YOU particularly interested in this election?" " Not enough." " Me neither." " Good." "Look, it doesn't make much difference who gets in, does it?" "Look, I'll still be able to take home my 20,000 a year, clear..." "That's not bad, for extracting the odd molar!" "Are you a socialist?" "Yes... yes, aren't YOU?" "Well, yes... in a way..." "Well, I suppose all of us are socialists, in a way." "Well I think it's the profit-motive that keeps the old economy ticking..." "I think we'd better stop discussing politics." "Otherwise I might end up planting you one on the jaw!" "Have a beer!" "I think I'll let the fire die down a bit before we put the meat on." "I built it up a bit too much." "You better hold the pizzas off for while, until I get the meat cooked, eh?" "S-T-A-T-U-S!" "S-T-A-T-U-S!" "Alright, you've convinced everyone you can spell..." "Now piss off!" "It's got nothing to do with it!" "Like hell, it hasn't!" "Are you usually as rude to people as you're being at the moment?" "What do you expect?" "On trumpeting a property conservatism..." "As if God should kiss your arse for it!" "I didn't TRUMPET it!" "At least SIMON..." "Simon had the grace to lie that he was neutral!" "I wasn't lying!" "Alright, OK, I'll take that back..." "You weren't lying." " I mean it!" "I wasn't lying!" " Alright!" "Alright!" "When someone calls me a liar, I believe I'm entitled to object!" " You are perfectly entitled to object!" " Right!" "Now, shut up!" "..." "I'm having an argument with your wife... alright?" "Pea-brain!" "I'm sorry, Don, but when the level of argument degenerates into personal abuse..." "It's time to leave!" ""Personal abuse"?" "What do you mean "personal abuse"?" "What do you think calling me a pea-brain is?" "!" " Accurate!" " Cut it out, Simon." "Well, he's a fuckin' pea-brain!" "So... we'd no sooner landed and ordered a drink that HE announces that he's randy!" "ME?" "The first words he said were "Let's get ourselves a screw, Cool!" "Absolute lie!" "My success with women affects this little runt." "Absolute fuckin' ratshit lie!" "Anyway, to get on with the story..." "There we are in the restaurant..." "We gaze over the restaurant and we see these two magnificent-lookin' waitresses." "Absolute rat shit!" "..." "The bottom of the barrel!" "You seemed quite enthusiastic at the time." ""You're my friend... you want something..." "I get it for you!" " Isn't he sickening?" "!" " No." "So we sat down and ordered this meal." "At this stage I did nothing more than to throw in a few quick quips to establish myself as a man of refinement and wit!" "Oh, yes... that jazz..." ""Hi, gorgeous, care for a screw?"" "No, the secret is to wait for the right moment and come in on the right question." ""Where are you from?" asks one of them." " "Why, South Africa," I replied." " South Africa?" "!" "Why would anyone want to say they came from South fuckin' Africa?" "!" "Oh, I never mix politics and sex." "Oh, the pizzas!" "..." "Would anyone like a pizza?" "Barbecue's ready!" " Excuse me!" " Okay, everyone, come on!" "There are plates and salad on the patio!" "Well, Cooley got into HIS bird, but mine was biologically indisposed." "Most disgusting thing I can remember, is the night I met him, in this little bistro." "That bistro was number one!" "From Wednesday night onwards you couldn't get in there for medium to good-quality secretarial twat!" "And no sooner had Malcolm arrived than this great bird walked past!" ""You want my body, don't you," I said." "Which is a pretty standard approach of mine over the years." "Having salad?" "Enter, the tooth-fairy!" "Not hungry?" "What's wrong?" "This party shits me." "Do you want to go home?" "Do you?" "I promised I'd drop in and see Cam..." "I told you." "You've been with him all afternoon!" "He's nearly finished the work for his exhibition..." "And he wants me there to comment." "It's exciting!" "It's about time you concentrated on your own work." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Well, maybe the critics had a point." "I thought you said you couldn't understand their jargon." "I can understand words like "sloppy" and "self-indulgent"!" "What time can I expect you home?" "Jesus!" "I thought we discussed all this!" "I'm not putting a curfew on you... it's..." "I just want to know whether it's worth my waiting up, that's all." " I knew our marriage 'd be a disaster!" " It's NOT a disaster!" "Then why don't you put a ball and chain on me?" "That's what you want, isn't it?" "!" "Now, may I have my pizza?" "!" "There's your bloody pizza!" "Holy Jesus!" "It rained all afternoon." "I didn't notice, because I'd put the canvas out all over the top, just in case it rained." "And when it got cold, the guests were inside..." " I mean really.." " In certain ways..." "Better move your car, mate..." "Evan can't get out." "Troubles?" "I'm supposed to forego any meaningful involvement with anyone but HIM!" "No right!" "So I'm involved with other men..." "so what!" "?" "He knows I don't do it to spite him." "He's just so bloody immature." "Been writing anything lately?" " I got a poem published last week." " Marvellous!" "Where?" "Newspaper." " Marvellous!" " It's shit!" "Hello, gorgeous!" "Care for a screw?" "He used to say "fuck"!" "Any particular reason for the change?" "Yeah..." "I get more fucks when I say "screw"!" "Is he ALWAYS like this?" "It's just his tough exterior." "Underneath is a sensitive, vulnerable man." "It's true!" "He once screwed a woman with a tin leg, out of sheer pity." "She was very well adjusted..." "except that the kneecap squeaked." "You would be the coarsest, most sex-obsessed person I have ever met!" "And a fine sexual technician, to boot!" " Who says?" " I says." "You COULD be overestimating yourself." "I COULD be." "It's the first piece of modesty I've heard from you all night." "I just threw it in, to intrigue you!" "I'm a little intrigued!" "You're moe than a little intrigued." "How would you know?" "I know a woman on heat, when I see one!" " How?" " Their eyes moisten." " Is this test conclusive?" "I have other tests." "Bennelong is a Liberal seat  and at the moment it doesn't look quite as safe as it used to be." "It's a middle north-shore area..." "sitting member Sir John Cremer... of the Liberal Party..." "Slut!" "Another one counted as safe Liberal in Sydney's more affluent suburbs  on the northern line to Hawkesbury held in the previous parliament by Mr T. Hughes..." "The seat of Blaxland in the south-western suburbs..." "You might refill those empty glasses out there." "Let them do it themselves..." "they've got legs." "You're the one who throws these bloody parties and you won't even accept the responsibility of looking after your guests!" "It's funny... but..." "this is the first time I thought it 'd be all right to do this with a man I've just met." "It's very flattering of you, my dear, but I don't believe you." "Usually it's an organic part of the whole relationship." "Well..." "ORGAN first!" "Relationship later!" "A very interesting philosophical point!" "You made some sort of arrangement with my husband?" "No." "Doesn't actually grow on you, does he?" "I'm sorry..." "I guess I was a little bit naive." "I sometimes get strongly attracted to someone." "Do YOU?" "No... sometimes." "Have you ever felt yourself strongly attracted to women?" "No!" "It's nothing to be ashamed of, if you have." "Oh, but I haven't!" "Kerry's very beautiful, isn't she?" "Yes, she's very attractive." "She's really beautiful!" "Now we're bonding a piece of metal across the area where the arm actually fits the hand..." "Jesus!" "Excuse me, Kath..." "have you seen Kerry?" "Isn't she outside?" "Shit!" "Where's Cooley?" "You know what their marriage is like!" " Well don't blame me!" " You must admit it's exciting!" "I hope you're satisfied!" "Go on... make a fool of yourself, as usual... go on!" "Get him off, will ya?" "!" "Get outside... get out!" "Just get out... go on!" "Get outside!" "You don't beat people up, just because they take a liking to your wife!" "Outside!" ""Get outside"... what are you..." "a fuckin' parrot?" "!" "Look I don't care what the circumstances are..." "You don't go interrupting a man and a woman at their most intimate moment!" "Look..." "I'll tell you something..." "I wouldn't like to be in your shoes if you hit me..." "I'll sue you for assault!" "I'm a lawyer." "I'm gonna smash your bloody teeth in!" "He's a dentist!" "Stop this at once!" "Stop acting like a sad adolescent!" "And YOU stop acting like a bloody nymphomaniac!" "Look... if you're not prepared to allow me some degree of emotional autonomy then THAT is it!" ""Emotional autonomy"?" "!" "When you start screwing oafs like that..." "it's emotional insanity!" "Oafs?" "Hey, fella, get ya facts straight before you start calling people names!" "Let's face it..." "We you start screwing boorish loud-mouthed oafs..." "What's so special about HER, anyway?" "I scored the National Charity Queen..." "two years in a row!" "Get your things!" "Get your things!" "If you think this is giving you some sort of moral leverage over me, you're wrong!" "Look, are you coming, or aren't you?" "!" "I am not your personal chattel!" "And I am taking steps to make sure that I am not YOURS!" "...this election is different from the 1929 election..." "Are you threatening me!" "?" "Well, you just work that out for yourself!" "Are you coming?" "No." "Look I will ask you once more..." "You can ask me as many time as you like." "That's your final answer?" "Yes." "Well, right!" "Don't show your face in here again, you shit!" "Talk about "coitus interruptus"!" "I'm gonna shoot meself..." "when those bastards get back in." "I'm gonna shoot meself." "I thought we were winning!" "?" "They're stuffed!" "..." "16 of the 18 doubtfuls are going to the Liberals." "Where did you hear that?" "5 minutes ago." "Fuckin' bastards are getting back on the DLP preferences." "We're stuffed!" "My old man used to vote DLP." "Yeah..." "I had an argument with him once..." "Didn't like the "permissive society"." "Wanted to return to "Catholic moral purity"." "He was the last of the great Catholic shaggers!" "He died "on the job", you know?" "By the time they got him dressed, they couldn't put his teeth back in." "Have you..." "Have you got any of those photos?" " What photos?" " Of me and your wife." "Oh..." "I carry a couple of dozen around in my wallet!" "Did they turn out alright?" "Jesus, Cooley!" "..." "Ruth and I have just separated..." "Doesn't that..." "Well look it's a bit disconcerting for a man to realise that there are pornographic photographs of him, floating around." "Well, they're selling very well!" "I'll get it." "Are you really selling those photos?" " Yep." " What are they worth?" "$8... set of 6." "Save us a couple, will you." "Matte or gloss?" "Matte!" " Why did they do it, Cools?" " What?" "Ask you to seduce my friends." "I think I was curious." "She didn't respond to me..." "So I wanted to see if she did with other men." "SHE didn't respond much to ME, mate." "Don't crap!" "I was in the bloody cupboard." "Anyone for a swim?" "Don... don't be ridiculous..." "We can't use the Mitchell's pool!" "If they're rich enough to take the whole family for a trip to Japan then they can bloody well lend us their pool!" "Liberal-voting turds!" "YOU just need more experience." "Why don't you have a go at Jody?" "Do you think she's interested?" "Ya didn't see how she looked at ya?" " When?" " All night!" "Mate... she's very impressed!" "What about her husband?" "That poofter?" "I'll take care of HIM." "SHE wouldn't be interested in HIM!" "He couldn't do any worse than YOU!" "Crap!" "Come on!" "You've been swingin' your dick at everything available and missing' by yards!" " As usual!" "What's YOUR story?" "What?" "All YOU seem to be good for these days, is planting native trees." "Do you know how I get 'em to grow so fast?" "No." "Nitrogen balls." "It's true..." "Nitrogen balls." "I've got a mahogany gum out there grew 5 feet this spring." "Want to see it?" "No!" "My God!" "..." "Time showed you two up, didn't it?" "How long is it since I met you, now?" "12... 13... 14 years?" "!" "Some little prick was throwing a party." "Yeah... it was me!" "And there they were..." "Sutherland, the brilliant academic..." "And Henderson..." "his adoring young pupil!" "Holding the floor giving their celebrated imitation of 2 men destined to leave their mark on the world." "Sorry if we disappointed you." "I remember how grateful I was when you adopted me!" "Poor little shit-kicker Cooley refugee from a Catholic choir!" "Buyer of the contraceptives..." "For 5 years I let myself be patronised by a pair of self-inflated bullshit-artists!" "The 2 great minds..." "Sutherland, plotting the right strategic moment to enter politics so he can make his way to the prime ministership with minimum delay." "Crap!" "And Henderson here..." "Henderson..." "giving lengthy debates on whether it'd be better to have his magnificent, but never-completed novel published here, or in London!" "You should 've gone into politics, Mal, you know..." "You should 've finished that novel, too." "Here we go again..." ""Mutual Arse-Lickers Incorporated"!" "Well, what've YOU done, that's so bloody magnificent?" "Bloody lawyer!" "People who need 'em most can't damn well afford 'em..." "Deny that!" "I don't HAVE to deny it." "I'm not posing as a champion of the oppressed." "...with 2 thirds of the votes counted tonight, it looks like a clean sweep with the allocation of preferences, would suggest that Mr Coates in fact would have..." "How's the election going?" "Fine, if you're a fascist." "Oh, well, sometimes I don't think it matters who wins." "Well the country's run by the Public Service, anyway, isn't it?" "Don't be such a bloody cretin!" "'Course it matters!" "We've got the worst health, education and social services of any industrialised nation!" "Well, why don't you go live in Russia?" "!" "What a cunt!" "You don't know what you're fuckin' talkin about!" "You do realise, don't you... ..education, in any society..." "You DO realise that, don't you?" "!" "I just don't believe in socialism, that's all." "Socialism..." "You don't even know the fuckin' meaning of the word!" "The Labor Party is just mildly reformist, that's all!" " Mildly?" "!" "What about Jim Cairns?" "!" " Put your bloody clothes on!" "Don't tell ME that Jim Cairns is just mildly reformist!" "You'd think they live for politics, wouldn't you?" "!" "All Don ever does is pass out a few how-to-vote cards." "Mal doesn't even hand out cards." "Let's face it Jody..." "We're married to a couple of..." "Bullshit-artists?" "What about the fuckin' pensioners, eh?" "Starving THEM!" "I think there's nothing wrong with a discussion but I don't think people should argue with people they don't agree with!" " I don't want to talk about it!" " Because you know I'm bloody-well right!" "We're having terrible trouble with young Richard at the moment." "They're easy at Richard's age!" "..." "Just wait till he's a bit older." "Hell, they're on babies!" "You wait till you've had some yourself." "I'm not." "They don't turn me on, I'm afraid." "How can you tell what your real feelings towards children are until you've had some yourself?" "That's like saying you ought to eat shit, in case it tastes like watermelon." "All I can say is, having sex for its own sake, is a rather hollow motive." "Oh, come on, Jenny!" "Some people carry on, as if it's the only thing in life!" "Who..." "ME?" "I wasn't referring to anyone in particular." "Look... if you think I enjoy being mauled by your randy husbands then you're wrong!" "Men are pigs!" "Yes..." "I must apologise for Evan." "Yes, he did sound a little upset!" "Oh, Kath..." "He's always going off about something or other!" "If you ask ME..." "he had good cause!" "You're entitled to your opinion." "Well, I mean I like Cooley as a person..." "I can't see what anyone would see in him as a MAN!" "A lot of women find him very attractive." "Must have hidden talents!" "Certainly isn't hiding them at the moment!" "What IS Cooley like, in bed?" "Well, he's not all that big..." "But he's energetic, for his age." "And inventive!" "Don plods on for hours..." "Bores me stupid." "Ah... the long slow grind!" "What's Simon like, Jenny?" "Well, he's not as BIG as my father..." "I used to see him under the shower!" "You can't always tell, when they're on the slack." "I don't think anatomical details are very important." "Surely it's the feeling between people, that counts?" "Yes, I've known some fine little pricks, in MY time!" "No... seriously!" "I mean, women become attracted to other women." "The thought of touching another woman's body, makes my flesh crawl!" "Why?" "The female body is infinitely more beautiful than the male." "How do women do it?" "!" "Well, they..." "Righto, ladies... come on!" "It's time to dance!" "Righto, Simon, old cock!" "Don't just stand there like a stuffed dummy!" "Get one of those lovely ladies up on her feet, and giver a whirl!" "'Plastic Lips'." "Yeah, why not?" "!" "Would you like us to dance together?" "What?" "We can dance till we're dead!" "I don't like the sound of that!" "Jenny!" "No, I haven't danced for years." "Well, it's about time you did, then, girl!" "I'd rather not." "Come on, Jen, for Christ's sake..." "Get up and have a dance!" "All I did was ask her for a dance!" "Why don't you give her a drink?" "Sorry!" "Hey!" "Sorry!" "Let's have a drink." "I just get SO depressed!" "Oh, Jenny..." "look..." "You've got 4 beautiful children... and your husband's 2nd lieutenant to God, and still rising!" "Our marriage is a farce!" "Whose isn't?" "!" "Oh, really?" "!" "Oh, we both used to love our kids." "Even make love, too." "Sick, isn't it?" "!" "I just..." "Christ, Jenny... you're attractive, you're intelligent..." "Let's face it, Don..." "I've been out of the human race for 10 bloody years!" "I know you're not the slightest bit interested!" "You can sit there and listen." "I've lost it, Don!" "All I can do is just sit in corners and hate other people, for being competent human beings!" "It's getting so the only people I can take, are shits!" "Thanks a lot!" "As soon as he's got enough money, he'll clear out and he'll leave me..." "You wait and see!" " Finish your degree." " Oh, stuff my degree!" "Have an affair." "Have an affair!" "Try having an affair after 4 kids have made your tits droop!" "You're stomach looks like something that got stuck into a soggy steamed pudding, with a fucking whip!" "I mean, let's face it..." "If you had to choose between me and that flat-stomached melon-breasted tart out there..." "Who'd it be?" "Yeah!" "This looks a rather nice little drop..." "Our Conservative friend knows a good red when he sees one!" "It's about time you made your move, mate!" "This is no time to get cold feet, my boy!" "Actually, I must get across to the Barossa again, pretty soon..." " Our cellar's getting pretty depleted." " When were you over there last?" "About 3 years ago." "Brought back 14 dozen bottles..." "mainly reds." "But there was the odd case of white." "That's a coincidence!" "I was over there 3 years ago." "That's very interesting." "Actually, there's nothing like a trip to the vineyards, is there?" "Right!" "..." "Right!" "Mind you..." "My trip wasn't all roses." "About half way round the circuit I picked up this stomach wog and started shitting like a camel!" "Actually, to be more accurate..." "it was more of a dribble." "Because I'd been tasting wine and eating cheese for days the old sphincter didn't have anything solid to come to grips with." "Stung like a bastard, too!" "But I was buggered if I was gonna let any stomach wog get the better of me, so..." "I stuffed a newspaper down me strides and did a quick change after every winery!" "I find that if I have a good solid shit at about 8 o'clock in the morning the rest of the day just falls into place!" "Do YOU shit at a regular time of the day, Simon?" " Look... do we really have to...?" " What about YOU, Suzie?" "No!" "You're not the constipated type, I hope?" "Do you really think that excretion is an interesting topic of conversation?" "We ALL have to do it!" "We don't have to talk about it!" "What ARE you?" "..." "An anal prude?" "!" "I just don't enjoy talking about shitting!" "You probably don't even enjoy shitting!" "Excuse us, Kath..." "It's getting pretty late." "Jody, I think it's about time we went home." "I'm just starting to relax." "I hope I haven't offended you, old chap!" " I was just telling him about this terrible..." " I'm tired..." "I'm really feeling tired." "Oh, I'm not!" "You go home and get some sleep, dear!" "I'll get a taxi." "I'd prefer it if you came with me!" "Why?" "!" "I just would!" "Are you worried about me DOING something?" "!" "No." "Go home and get some sleep then!" "What am I gonna tell the babysitter when I get home without ya?" "Stuff the babysitter!" "Thanks Kath..." "Jody's not feeling too tired, so she'll be staying just a bit longer." "Oh... fine..." "Sorry, Simon." "Don..." "You going now, Simon?" "I must say that I didn't realise that university-educated people could be so bloody uncouth!" "The Prime Minister, Mr John Gorton has claimed to have been returned to office with a narrow majority in today's federal election." "Thanks for the hospitality, Don!" " You going?" " Yeah." " I'll drive you, eh?" " I called a cab, thanks." "Are you going home?" "What are you going to do about Evan?" "I don't know..." "Quite a problem, really." "I think it's one of those unfortunate situations where one partner develops and the other one doesn't." "Now be a good girl, and take this, and catch a cab back to the hotel and I'll see you a little later." "I want to stay!" "You want to stay?" "Why do you want to stay?" "Why do YOU?" "'Bye!" "Hey... wait a minute!" "Taxi's waiting... got to run!" "You told me this was gonna be a MORAL party!" "Something didn't quite gel." "And everybody talks permissive." "When it comes to the crunch..." "You put your hand on a woman's bum..." "You can get crippled." "Shut your neck!" "Well, look at YOU..." "Itchin' to get into it!" "Too gutless to try!" "They'll hold hands..." "'n look into each other's eyes." "The whole of Western society stinks of hypocrisy!" "You are so right!" "You won't stop them now..." "We're into the mutual admiration stage." "Yeah... 15 glasses!" " Suzy baby!" "..." " No!" "What do you think I am?" "I'm not a thing you can jump on, any time you feel the urge!" "Come on baby... what is this..." "I bring you down here for a holiday..." "Well, tough luck!" "You should 've gone for Kerry..." "Coz as far as I'm concerned, you've wasted your money!" "Listen here, Susan..." "You just better..." "Piss off!" "Why don't you lick each other's arses?" "!" "Now, that is not very nice!" "What is the most boring way that any society could regulate sex?" "Marriage." "Marriage." "You know what's wrong with OUR marriage?" "!" " What?" " The size of your thing!" "What's wrong with it?" "Nothing..." "He's just got an obsession about it." "Still?" "!" "If it is just an obsession..." "Then how come YOU can't have an orgasm?" "!" "How can I have an orgasm when I'm worrying about YOU worrying about the size of your member?" "!" " Size isn't important!" " It's NOT small!" "I just THINK it is!" "The real problem, with OUR marriage, is money." "Money?" "!" "You earn TWICE what I do!" "Why are you pointing at ME?" "Extravagance!" "Extravagance!" "My son has a cashmere coat worth $60..." "He's worn it twice!" "Twice!" "It's none of my business..." "But I WAS surprised when Don told me you'd spent over $400 on the kids' Christmas presents last year." "And who told Don?" "!" "I did." "I did!" "She uses those kids as a status symbol..." "Rip into the bitch!" "And we weren't impressed to hear you'd thrown a fully-catered-for dinner party a week after we'd lent you the money." "30 dozen oysters and French champagne." "Well, at least when I throw a party, I don't feed my guests on chips and Twisties!" "Couldn't stand te sight of them a minute longer!" "At least we live within our means." "I don't mind lending money to people, if they really need it!" "For God's sake, Mal..." "Write them a cheque!" "Right..." "Don't be so ridiculous..." "I won't take it!" "Don't be so ridiculous!" "There's absolutely no need!" "Two dollars!" "That's all there is in there." "Jenny just bought a swimming pool for the kids." "Why all this stupid jealousy and possessiveness..." "I mean it should be the most natural thing in the world for me to say to you..." ""Don, why don't you have Jenny for the night?"" "I don't think we could fit 3 in the bed." "What happened to YOU?" "He fell asleep." "It should be the most natural thing in the world!" "Of course it should." "Oh, it SHOULD, should it?" "!" "Yes, it should!" "It's funny how you never have the guts to champion wife-swapping until you've had a gutful of beer!" "That's right!" "..." "Sorry, Don..." "I'm afraid that's one of your natural failings a lack of moral courage!" "Is that so?" "Now don't take this as an insult, fella..." "But you are a weak turd!" "Now, 10 years ago..." "you'd written me off." "No... now come on..." "You'd written me off..." "Thrown out of academia just because it wouldn't take a stupid PhD..." "Now, let's not be modest..." "Let's not be modest!" "Let's NOT be modest!" "But I dug in my toes!" "And I fought back!" "Because there's iron in my soul!" "Now, just a minute!" "..." "The day you were booted out of the uni..." "I said "Mark my words"..." ""That man is down, but he's not out."" "If anybody's going to make a million, HE will!" "I remember that..." "and I was flattered." "It wasn't meant as flattery." "It was in recognition of your talents for obsequiousness and bullshit!" "I know how it was meant..." "and I still took it as a compliment." "Those were great days, weren't they?" "They were bloody great days." "Bloody great days." "Mal..." "I'd like you to have Kath for the night." "Don..." "I would like you to have Jenny for the night." "Kath..." "I didn't MEAN it, you stupid prick!" "They were great days, weren't they?" "Great days!" "Oh, yes... they were great days!" "Great bloody days!" "That's why I had to put YOU on an invalid's diet!" "But you couldn't cope with your job, or anything else for that matter." "You had ulcers at 24!" "Had to wash all your clothes..." "Cook all your meals..." "Because your little mummy hadn't told you..." "The world is a fucking big place!" "And nobody gives a stuff about little Donny Henderson!" "Boy wonder!" "Adolescent genius..." "and you're a full-grown bomb-out!" "Family man, schoolteacher, gardener, tree-surgeon, handyman, good provider..." "I had to creep around our flat for years..." "I had to creep around, while Donny Genius here tapped out his earth-shattering novel!" "Which was to place him, and I quote..." ""among the all-time fucking greats"!" "I've never said that!" " That's a lie..." "I've never said that!" " I had to wait 7 years... 7 years before I was ALLOWED to have a child!" "Jesus Christ!" "I wasn't ALLOWED to do pottery until last year, because you considered it so mundane!" "You make me sick, Henderson!" "You really shit me!" "I'm going to bed." "Kath..." "I'd like to apologise..." "You shit me even more!" "Why?" "What have I done?" "You don't have to DO anything, Sutherland..." "You're just a born shit!" "You leave him alone!" "YOU shit me, too!" "The feeling is mutual!" "And make sure we get the rest of the money by the end of the week." "Your idiot of a husband earns twice as much as mine does!" "That just shows you what an idiot your husband is!" "I'm going to bed." "So you keep saying!" "Listen..." "We mustn't let this little argument upset OUR relationship." "If YOU think that marriage is so bloody boring you can get out, and you can take your kid with you!" "It's not MY kid!" "I think she might 've been talking to ME!" "Jesus!" "Where are they?" "!" "Who?" "Cooley..." "We didn't do anything, Simon..." "Simon!" "We didn't do anything!" "She's not here, you mad bastard!" "I could kill you!" "Stop it!" "Just go home, the lot of you!" "Go home!" "Don..." "Come to bed!" "Subtitles by FatPlank for KG."