" ♪" " [ship's horn blasting]" " MALE TV ANNOUNCER:" "Will our captivating captain find her first mate, or will it be man overboard?" "Find out tonight as we set sail for love on "The Dream Boat."" " [ship's horn blasting]" " Eeeee!" "Karen should totes pick Bronson." "He's so gorge, I can't even..." " No way, dude." "What about Brock?" "He wrote her that sweet jam." " [accordion music]" " I like Bram." " [birds cawing]" " Ew, he gives me the creeps." " Exactly." " I like Bryant." "[sniffing]" "He's so romantic." " Karen, I'll be your North Star, 'cause no matter where this journey takes you," "I'll always be there to guide you home." " North Star?" "Ach, poppycock." "Tree moss is a far more reliable means of navigation-- given that it only grows on the north side of trees." " SISTERS:" "[groaning]" " I like Blaine." "I bet he can bench 300 pounds, maybe 320 with his bod." " Blaine?" "But he wore flip-flops to their first date." "I mean, I can't even..." " SISTERS: [chattering]" " Lincoln, it's so much fun watching this show with you." "You're like literally one of the girls." " [gasps] One of the girls?" "!" " This mud mask is both cleansing and invigorating." " Oh, my pores are tingling." " Thanks, Lincoln." "I always mess up my right hand." " Hey!" "Someone put her dirty old dress in the wash with all my pageant gowns!" "[roaring] [bonks head]" "Oh, I can't rip you apart, if you're already dead!" " Back two over one." " You got it, bro." "These accessories will make our outfits rockin'." " R-R-R-Rockin'!" " Lincoln, how's that hem coming?" " Almost done." " Thanks." "I can wear this poncho for all five seasons." " Yikes!" "Is spending all my time around girls turning me into one?" "Nah, I'm sure I'll turn out fine." " DAD:" "What did I miss?" "Did Blaine finally put on some loafers?" " This show's lame." "Let's watch guy stuff." " SISTERS:" "Hey!" " MALE TV ANNOUNCER:" "A lifetime in the extreme wilderness has made Rip Hardcore as tough as a two-dollar steak." " Now this is my kind of show." " [scoffs] Since when?" " DAD:" "Oh, no, turn it back!" "We're gonna miss the anchor ceremony!" " [punching, smacking]" " It's mine!" "Gimme it!" " Let me get this straight." "You think living with the girls has made you unmanly, so, we're spending a weekend in the extreme wilderness so, we can turn into steaks?" " Uh, close enough." "Now, are you ready to get extreme?" " You know it!" " [chests thudding]" " Wait, I promised my dads I'd stay in their sightline." "It's supposed to be a really nice Bamp;" "B." " Clyde, how are we supposed to toughen up with your dads watching over us?" " They were willing to bring us some of their complementary welcome scones." " Now this spot looks perfect." " But the sign says no camping here, extreme danger." " Exactly--extreme." "Our first order of business--securing shelter." " My dads used this tent on a safari last year." "It has its own verandah." " Tough guys don't sleep on verandahs, Clyde." "They build their own shelter." " What a beaut." " All in a manly day's work." "Now how about we rustle up some grub?" " Great." "My dad made my favorite" "Swiss chard frittata." " Forget the frittata, Clyde." "Tough guys eat beans." " Were you thinking chili or more of a cassoulet?" " Mm!" "Mm!" "Mm!" "Good stuff, right?" " Very...tasty." " I think I'll save the rest for later." " Yeah, for breakfast-- or never." " Well, we're burnin' daylight here." "Better get started on our campfire." " Way ahead of you." "This baby's got LED lights, silk flames, and a realistic crackling sound." " [flames crackling]" " [crackling stops]" " Clyde, tough guys make real fires." "[smacking stones] [blowing air]" " [thuds]" " [shivering] R-R-Really tough guys don't even need fires." "They brave the elements." " [farts] Sorry." "Musta been the beans." "Or the loss of feeling below my waist." " No need to apologize, Clyde." "Tough guys let it all out." "[huge fart]" " [laughs] Well, in that case..." " [huge belch] - [huge belch] [laughing] - [farting]" " BOTH: [belching, farting, laughing]" " [bird screeches]" " [owl hoots]" " [yawning]" "All this extreme ruggedness has worn me out." "What level of firmness do you want?" " We don't need that." "The ground will be our mattress." " Oh, so extra firm." " We're tough guys, not animals." "I'm really glad we did this, Clyde." "Out here in the woods, away from all the girls," "I'm starting to feel like a real man." " Me, too." "[farts] [laughing]" "Oh, I think I just found a way to stay warm." "[farts] - [sniffing]" " [birds chirping] - [loon calling]" " [yawning]" "Ah, nothing like waking up and" " Water!" "We're in the water!" " Ah!" "How did this happen?" " [waves splashing]" " [waterfall thundering]" " BOTH: [scream] Paddle!" " Hey, isn't that our shelter?" " LINCOLN:" "It's making a dam." " BOTH:" "Yeah!" " We're saved." "And all because we built our own shelter, like the tough" " BOTH: [screaming]" " Lincoln?" "Are you okay?" " I'm fine." "I landed on a really soft rock." " [moose bellowing, snorting]" " Not a rock!" "Moose!" "[screaming]" " [moose bellowing] - [screams]" " [sniffing]" " Ha!" "Nothing two tough guys like us can't handle." "Right, Clyde?" " [moose thudding tree]" " Whoa!" " [thudding tree]" " BOTH:" "[screaming]" " Oh!" "Clyde, are you okay?" " I'm fine." "I landed on a really soft rock." " [bees buzzing]" " Not a rock." "A beehive!" "[screaming]" " LINCOLN:" "[screaming]" "This is still nothing tough guys like us can't handle." "At least it's not raining." " [thunder crashing]" " Is that all you've got?" " [mud sloshing]" " BOTH: [screaming] [panting]" " Lincoln, I know this probably sounds lame to a tough guy like you, but I'm hungry, and wet, and cold, and I kinda wish" "I was with my dads at the Bamp;" "B, eating welcome scones." " So do I. [sighing]" "I was kidding myself, Clyde." "I'm no tough guy." "After all those years around all those women, it's too late for me." "Now, if you don't mind," "I'm gonna lie down on this nice soft rock." " [growling]" " Not a rock!" "Bear!" " [roaring]" " BOTH: [screaming]" " Clyde, quick, play dead." " [sniffing] [bonks head] [feet padding]" " Lincoln, that was amazing." "How did you know to play dead?" " [bonks head]" "Oh, I can't rip you apart, if you're ready dead!" " BOTH: [panting]" " It's something I learned from Lucy." " D-D-Does she know anything about k-k-keeping warm?" " No, but Leni does." " I can wear this poncho for all five seasons." "The key is the faux fur lining." " Wow, it is so toasty." " The key is the birch bark lining." "Now, come on, Clyde, we're goin' home." " Which way?" " Why, it's just..." "This way!" "Lisa said that moss only grows on the north side of trees." " My dads are staying at the North Valley Bamp;" "B." "Follow that moss!" " [shoes "screeching"]" " How do we get up there?" " You got it, bro." "These accessories will make our outfits rockin'." " R-R-R-Rockin'!" " And if you braid the strands real tight, they're strong enough to use as rope, right, Chuck?" " Right as rain, luv." "We're gonna need a bigger window, though." " Back two over one." "That'll hold." " This is great, Lincoln." "What'd you make this rope out of?" " This should help the poison ivy." "Oh, my pores are tingling." " It also soothes sunburn, poison ivy, and mild to moderate acne." " ♪" " [shoes "screech"] - [loud smack]" " [straining]" " How are we gonna move this bad boy?" " [straining]" " Step aside." "I got this." "[spits]" "You've gotta lift with your legs, not your back." "You see?" "[grunting] [grunts] - [rock thuds]" " ♪" " [log creaking]" " Whoa!" "[gasping]" " How do you balance in those?" " Eyes forward, chin up, tushy clenched." " ♪" " Good tip, Lincoln." "It really works." " I don't think you have to do the wave." " Voilà!" " ♪" " Clyde, we did it!" "We made it back!" "[sighing]" " I'm pooped." "I'm just gonna sit down and wait for my dads on this nice soft rock." " BOTH:" "[screaming]" " Oh, this one's really just a rock." " I thought spending so much time around my sisters was a problem, when actually it's just the opposite." "If it wasn't for them," "I'd probably be a moose meal by now, and now that I don't have to worry about what's manly or girly or any of that junk," "I can go back to enjoying this." "Who wants strawberry muffins?" " DAD amp;" "SISTERS:" "I do!" "I do!" "[chomping]" " Oh, Blaine, please tell me you're not wearing clogs."