"Ah, Mamie." "Mamie, you should be nice to Mr. Lipman." "Why, may I ask?" "Ain't you never heard of Lipman and Davidowitz, men's clothes?" "That's the same Lipman!" "Where is this?" "The old country, huh?" "Is this Poland?" "Is this Russia?" "She's a hundred percent right, Joe." "In America, you marry for love and that's all." "Who said different?" "Furthermore," "I got quite a bit saved myself already." "An orphan got to get her own dowry." "Dowry!" "I thought this was America." "I don't want no man to say," ""I had to take her just as she was, without a penny."" "So, so where you live?" "I board in." "No!" "Me also!" "No!" "I sleep in the parlor with my landlady's two daughters." "I, I got a bed all to myself." "No." "Well, it ain't actual a bed." "It's a..." "It's a lounge." "What a bluffer you is, Jake." "You treating'?" "Give a look." "What'll it be?" "Where's that waiter?" "Ladies and gents, meet Schloime Navasky." "Just come over this very day." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Hey!" "Sit 'im right down here." "Sit!" "Scared to death." "Look at him." "They must have oxen in steerage these days." "Oh, he's laughing!" "Look at him!" "Waiter, another glass tea." "Oh!" "Careful." "Oh!" "Is that a sight?" "Pincus Levinsky." "Oh!" "I know Charlie Levinsky." "I know a Kaminsky." "I know Sora Gilinsky." "Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" "He will soon learn, in America there is no such thing as relatives, eh?" "Ah, here." "Take two." "It's America!" "Huh?" "Oh, his hat!" "Oh!" "Hey!" "Welcome to America!" "No, Jake, wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "What's the matter?" "You got somebody else?" "Look who's talking." "Me?" "Shh!" "What about Fanny?" "Fanny?" "Shh!" "We work in the same shop, and that's all." "Huh!" "Let's go inside." "Let me explain." "No." "My landlady." "All right." "Good-bye." "Jake." "Wait." "For what?" "Poor little orphan." "When you come over?" "Seven years." "I come all alone from Poland when I was 16 years old." "You speak English like a Yankee." "Thank you." "I would think you was born here." "Hey!" "Ma?" "Over here." "Bernstein, what was you in the old country, huh?" "A yeshiva student?" "Sit on your tochiss all day in the study house, huh?" "And the women is bringing the food for the scholar, and everyone is fighting," ""Stay by my house, stay by me!" "And please do me the honor to marry with my daughter."" "Well, I wasn't no boss in Lithuania." "No, sir." "Give a guess what I was." "A peddler." "Ah!" "I told you already?" "Hmph." "Some country, America." "The peddler becomes the boss, and the yishiva bocher sits by the sewing machine." "Some country, huh, Jake?" "You betcha!" "This is one of the locusts from Egypt." "Huh?" "Look at him." "Boss, what time?" "Is 12:00 yet?" "What if it is?" "After 12:00, starts all over again, ain't it?" "Half after." "So you will ask, huh?" "First thing I get to the house!" "Good." "Fanny!" "What's the hurry?" "You're finished with Fanny, huh?" "Why?" "You want Fanny?" "That kind of a woman, that's not for me." "So what kind of woman is for you?" "Bernstein." "So you went to the marriage broker, huh?" "Mrs. Kavarsky!" "A man works in my shop, and he needs a home." "Do you got?" "You better be looking yourself, Mr. Podkovnik." "They took your landlady away to the hospital." "Her sister come for Feigle already." "Oh, wait, wait." "It come this morning so I keep for you." "Go." "Leave me in peace." "What's the matter?" "Read it." "Who?" "My wife?" "My son?" "Your father has been freed." "May he have a bright paradise." "Oh, excuse me, missus." "Who is the landlord in this house?" "Epstein." "Would you..." "Would you tell him Podkovnik will take the place?" "Oh?" "For what you need a whole apartment?" "Mr. Podkovnik getting married maybe?" "It's too much trouble?" "Don't get excited." "Right away." "I'll tell Epstein." "The furniture, can I keep?" "If the sister don't come for it, I said I would sell it." "But who wants?" "I want." "Twenty-five dollars would be a bargain." "All right, I buy it." "I got you a room." "Huh?" "I got you a room." "Two dollars a week, meals and washing included." "Thanks, Jake." "By the neighbor lady?" "No, with me." "Well, well, well!" "I was thinking maybe you moved to Chicago?" "I, uh..." "I've been busy, Mamie." "That's nice." "Don't even bother to clean yourself up when you call on a girl." "Mamie, I gotta talk to you about something special." "Oh!" "Mamie..." "Ah, Mamie, about this money you got saved." "What about it?" "I got a chance for a big bargain." "Oh!" "What?" "Furniture!" "What kind of furniture?" "What kind?" "A stove, a table, chair, pots, pans." "Mamie, I gotta have my own place." "Jake." "You give?" "Jake, you monkey!" "I'll pay back every penny." "I swear." "Don't bother yourself." "Eh..." "You got in your pocket, maybe?" "What?" "The money." "Oh, you want it right away?" "You betcha!" "Come upstairs." "What about your landlady?" "Oh, this is a different thing now, ain't it?" "Listen." "Better you should get, huh?" "Anything you say, Jake." "You're the boss now." "Three years I sleep there." "Now where will you sleep?" "For who is the little bed?" "My son." "What son is that?" "I only got one son." "Jake, what is this?" "Did I ever say I was a single man?" "Well, did I?" "Yankel!" "Yankel!" "For what purpose are you bringing this woman in?" "For what purpose are you bringing this woman in?" "Uh, for the purpose, she's my wife." "And that's your son?" "Sha!" "This woman is my wife and that's all!" "Where's the marriage certificate?" "This is my missus." "This is Mr. Bernstein." "Gitl." "Yankel." "Yankel." "Look at him." "A little Yankee." "Yankee?" "Listen to him!"Yankee."" "Joey." "Joey!" "Joey." "Come." "Come to Papa." "Say it, Joey." "Horse." "Horse." "Horse?" "Jake?" "Jake!" "Good morning." "What's the matter?" "You didn't come to the dancing class for a long time." "The ladies keep asking, "Where's Jake?"" "Horse, Ta'teh." "Horse." "Mister, give him." "Ta'teh?" "What else?" "Upon my word!" "What is wrong, if I may ask?" "You got a boy." "That means you got a wife also?" "Certainly!" "Upstairs." "They come yesterday only." "Yankel." "Gitl." "Yossele." "Stove." "Stove." "Stove." "Lunch." "Table." "Bernstein, you want she should be green always?" "Good evening, missus." "Gitl?" "Good evening." "Joey!" "Come." "Come on." "Here, sit." "Mmm!" "By gum, this is good!" "This son of mine going to be president United States." "No, Bernstein?" "No." "The president must be American born." "It's written in the Constitution." "Bernstein, you wish you had a son like my Joey, huh?" "Get married, and you soon will." "How come you so particular?" "What you say to the marriage broker, he can't find you a wife?" "Listen, go back again." "Say,"I'll take whatever you got as long as she got two eyes, a nose and a mouth."" "Look at him, shvitzingl" "Come in!" "Come in." "Good evening, Jake." "Mamie." "Ah, Miss Fein, my wife." "How you do?" "Pleased to meet you." "Say,"I'm glad to meet you."" "She is still a greener." "Never mind." "She'll soon"oysgreen" herself." "What a darling!" "What a darling." "What's his name?" "Joey." "Joey!" "Joey, come here." "Come here." "Are you a good boy, Joey?" "Give me a kiss." "Mmm!" "Oh, that's nice." "So nice." "Here." "Mama." "Mamie." "About the $25." "Huh!" "I should cough." "A couple of weeks." "No, sir." "Now!" "I don't know where you get it though." "A married man with a darling little wife." "I must remember to ask your wife how she likes the furniture." "The furniture you bought with my money." "I'll pay you every penny, Mamie." "Just don't say nothing to her, please." "What do I care?" "I want my money!" "I worked hard enough for it!" "I'll say what I like to your wife." "Oh, don't you like it?" "Lump it!" "Don't talk English." "She will think something." "What do I care what she thinks?" "I want she should know." "It's lucky I still remember a word or two of the old language." "I'll tell her what's what." "Never mind!" "I don't wanna stay here anyhow." "Good-bye, Mrs. Podkovnik." "I hope you will enjoy America." "Mamie!" "Mamie." "Where can I see you?" "Well, you can't come by the dancing academy no more, huh?" "Wait a minute." "If I want, I can go there more than I used to." "Mamie." "Mmm." "You know where I live, don't you?" "Or did you forget?" "I don't forget." "What a short mind you got." "I won't forget nothing." "I'll come." "Huh." "You're bluffing." "I'll come." "I should live so." "All right." "But bring my $25." "Or you'll see." "Come, come." "Come." "You think you're still in Russia?" "Love potions!" "Look at you." "Like a bubbe with a patch on the head!" "Why should he love you?" "Fifty times I am telling you," ""Fix yourself." "Look like a woman that lives in America."" "I won't be a goyah, even for Yankel." "What's the use?" "I'm talking to the wall." "Why should I bother myself?" "What about at night in the bed?" "Don't tell me." "I know the answer already." "Nothing." "Look at me." "Am I a goyah?" "I'm as pious as you anyhow." "And I go with my own hair, don't I?" "Plenty time for the patch when I get old." "While I'm young, I'm young." "And that's all." "It can't be helped!" "We live in an educated country, so we dress like educated people." "As they say,"Ladies first."" "Hold in." "Hold." "It hurts." "It hurts?" "That means it's working." "Hold, hold now." "Hold." "Good." "Oh, yeah!" "That right?" "Yeah, it's all right." "It's sure tight." "You wanna be an American, you gotta hurt." "My best!" "I don't buy from a pushcart." "I buy inside, by the way." "Huh?" "How do you like, huh?" "Yeah?" "Yeah?" "Maybe you got one with feathers?" "You want a hat with feathers?" "Feathers, you'll get!" "Here." "Oh!" "Ah, ah, beautiful!" "Oh, look." "Give a look." "Huh?" "A regular uptown lady." "Here, like that." "Hmm?" "You like it?" "Evening, missus." "He must work late again." "It's the busy season." "The boss keeps him." "And Jake is the best worker." "Yossele." "Base." "Base." "Mamie!" "Oh, Mamie." "You bring my money?" "I gotta speak to you now." "Get away from me!" "Please, I come all the way from work!" "Is it my fault you got a short mind?" "Today is Wednesday." "You was by dancing." "And why not?" "I'm a single girl." "I can go where I want." "You think I can't?" "A married man at a dancing academy with his little wife dragging' after." "You give me a regular pain!" "Shut up out there!" "I don't have nothing to do with a married man, Jake Podkovnik!" "You got my money." "You give it!" "Otherwise you go to hell!" "You go to hell!" "You ain't worth my wife's little finger!" "You either!" "Oh, you!" "Don't tell me." "Jake." "Jake." "I'm so busy tonight." "What you waitin' for?" "Mr. Bernstein, why you come to America?" "You could've been teacher." "Rabbi even." "I wasn't worthy." "What?" "I should live so!" "I could not take my mind from profanities." "Here I was studying the Talmud which teaches" ""He who even looks at the little finger of a woman is as guilty as though he looked at a woman totally naked."" "So I bought a ship's ticket and I came to America." "So?" "I'm tasting!" "That's all!" "I want a treat, and you're insulting me." "Who wants your treat?" "All right!" "So don't come to my wedding neither." "I'll be goddamn!" "Jake, was from you I got the nerve to ask her." "To have a wife, that's a good thing, huh, Jake?" "What you talking, Joe?" "A single man is a bum, a gornishtl" "One thing, a man gives up something when he gets married, by the way." "What?" "Give up what?" "Dancing school?" "A big mitzeah." "Joe, what is?" "When I finish work, and I come home, all I wanna do is eat my dinner, enjoy my little wife and play with my boychick." "Of course, Mamie and me, we gonna run the academy together." "Be good for business, huh?" "Mamie?" "Which Mamie?" "Mamie Fein." "You asked Mamie Fein, huh?" "What she say?" ""Maybe."" "Maybe, huh?" "And already you standing under the canopy." "Upon my word." "It's a good thing she didn't say more than maybe." "You can get away yet." "Get away?" "I don't wanna get away." "Jake, why should I wanna get away?" "Never mind." "American ladies, for a good time, yes." "For a wife, no." "Get yourself a girl from the old country." "She don't ask all the time for a new dress, a new hat." "She don't run around with other mens." "She keeps the place like a fiddle, and she knows how to save from a nickel." "Mamie saved more than $300 from out her wages." "Furthermore, I don't want no greenhorn wife." "Then you go to hell!" "You and Mamie ain't worth my wife's little finger!" "So." "If your wife is such a wonder, how is it you're sittin' here?" "Never mind you business!" "You say one more word about my wife and I'll give you this!" "You ain't got a cigar?" "Sure I got." "Help yourself." "Take a couple." "Thanks." "§" "Eat." "Make your teeth strong." "Look what a place is America, nu, Bernstein?" "At home we had forests." "Right outside the door, remember, Yankel?" "Here one must take a train for an hour just to be near a tree." "So go back to Russia." "Here a Jew is a mensch." "In Russia we was afraid to walk within ten feet of a Gentile." "Yankel, where in America is the Gentiles, huh?" "I go with Mrs. Kavarsky, Rivington Street, Delancey Street, everywhere Jews." "The Gentiles keep in another place, huh?" "Yossele, don't get dirty the knee pants Ta'teh make for you." "Let him enjoy!" "What a boy, with regular knee pants." "You know what the trouble is with you, Gitl?" "Look on me." "Give a look on me!" "Am I a Jew or a Gentile?" "Forget that you know me." "Just by what you see, what do you say?" "A Jew is a Jew." "What do you know!" "Mr. Bernstein knows many things." "He going give lessons in how to talk English." "I looking for students all the time." "Twenty-five cents an hour." "I'll be goddamn!" "Who'd wanna take lessons from such a greeny?" "Look at him!" "Bernstein, you want my advice?" "Go to the shadchen, say,"I'll take what you got:" "deaf, hunchback, long as she got money."" "Then you buy yourself a little store." "Let the hunchback run the place." "And you can sit all day and read the books, huh?" "What do you say?" "Joey!" "Joey, come here!" "Don't bother, Mr. Bernstein." "Oh, here he comes, Yossele." "The slack season already?" "Mister, wait one minute." "Yossele, stay by me." "Go." "I'll send him up in a minute." "Slack season." "No work three, maybe four months." "Take off." "Take off!" "Yankel!" "What happened here?" "She looks like a wet cat!" "Mama!" "Take him to my house." "Have a little water." "Another man would thank God for such a wife." "Look how she keeps the place." "Like a mirror!" "A flower in the window even." "Why do you do this to her?" "What I do?" "With one tochiss, you can't dance at two weddings." "You think you're better off with the dancing girl?" "Gitl told you?" "She didn't say a word, I swear." "Don't get excited!" "She didn't say a word!" "I don't care for no dancing girls!" "I don't care for nobody!" "Especially that one, that shnoosal" "I'm an American fellow." "A Yankee, that's what I am." "And that's all!" "Oh, it's no use." "Oh, kinder, kinderl You have a quarrel and that's all." "You make a peace." "Give a good kiss." "What you kicking about anyway?" "Mind your own business!" "Listen, Podkovnik," "I was in this country when you were still in Russia hauling on the bellows!" "You can't pee up my back, and make me think it's rain." "Get outta here!" "Never!" "Never!" "Go." "Who knows what you do!" "Maybe kill her." "You wanna call a policeman?" "Go." "Call a policeman!" "I will tell him what is doing in this house!" "He will be back, that one." "Don't worry." "I don't want him back." "Enough." "Mamie, how can you fix?" "Gitl won't agree to divorce." "Money." "Money, money, money, money." "I ain't got." "I got." "You got?" "You knew I got, didn't you?" "Never!" "How much you got?" "Three hundred and forty dollars." "You little peach, you!" "Used to be 365, but for the 25 you borrowed," "I already said Kaddish." "Ah." "We'll keep by enough to start a dancing academy." "We're done in the sweatshops." "Finished." "In the first, Podkovnik will not come home no more whether you say yes or no, missus." "Or as we say,"irregardless."" "You agree to a divorce," "Miss Mamie Fein is giving you $50." "You don't agree, no $50." "All right." "You got a little one." "Ach." "Ach." "What can I do?" "What can I do?" "What can I do?" "Seventy-five dollars." "Seventy-five dollars, you'll get a new husband, one-two-three." "Huh?" "What kind business we got here, missus?" "All right, $100." "One hundred dollars!" "What am I saying?" "It's out, I said it, that's all, it's finished." "One hundred dollars." "You're a rich lady." "Mazeltovl" "Mr. Bernstein, is all right, these things?" "Mrs. Kavarsky say, for a divorce a woman must not look like an old broom." "So I go today by Delan" "You going away?" "I cannot pay my board." "So I'll call a policeman." "You got so much money now." "What do you need a boarder?" "I'm gonna stay by my uncle." "When?" "Tonight." "Whatever." "Missus?" "Maybe you got some string?" "Good-bye." "Good-bye." "And good-bye to the boy." "May you have a boy of your own one day." "To have a son, a man must have a wife." "A wife you can get." "The one that I would ask," "what if she would say no?" "What if she would say yes?" "Missus, what are you doing?" "I'm saying yes." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Come in." "You got the Rabbi's fee?" "All together." "No installments." "We gotta eat too." "I got, I got." "The witnesses." "You got for them also?" "Zalman?" "My brother." "What?" "Come." "Over there." "Jake." "Yankel." "Yankel." "Berel." "Berel." "Yes." "Zalman." "She's a good daughter of Israel, Rabbi." "She could marry tomorrow, but she will wait 91 days." "She's got a suitor?" "Don't worry." "When it comes to the wedding, I'll call your husband." "He'll make the ceremony." "Zalman." "Why she shouldn't have a suitor, such a beautiful young woman!" "Why she should go to waste?" "A yeshiva bocher, not a lump of horse like the other one." "He's already teaching her little one." "A little one?" "So what's the name, the little one?" "Yossele." "Yossele." "No." "His name is Joey." "So tomorrow you go by your boss, and tell him you'll stay with the job, huh?" "What about Podkovnik's Dancing Academy?" "Huh!" "With what?" "Your wife skinned us alive out of $300, didn't she?" "We'll have to start saving all over again, from the very beginning." "Mamie, must we walk all the way to City Hall?" "Why spend for a carriage?" "But we can go by Third Avenue and take the El." "Two nickels is two nickels." "It's money, ain't it?" "Are you ashamed for people to see us?" "Mamie!" "Come on, what you talking, huh?" "This grocery store, how much rent is he asking?" "Don't bother your head." "We got plenty left." "May I fall down on the street." "You think I can learn to sell groceries?" "What?" "You will study." "I will sell." "Tell me, Mr. Bernstein, in our store, should we sell soda and seltzers?" "In the hot weather, people are thirsty." "On the other hand, such an item can be bought on the streets as well." "That's true." "So we mustn't be too quick to say this or that."