"Tad?" "Is that you?" "You're early." "Time to kiss your sweet ass goodbye, cupcake." "Seriously, several people told me that my scene... is really the only one that's even remotely scary." "Becky, you make a major impact in this movie." "Somebody even said that Angelica's scene, it wasn't even scary at all." "Like, it was funny, and not in a good way." "We have to make sure you don't get pigeon-holed now... which is why I think you shouldn't show your tits anymore." "What a piece of shit!" "I know, it makes fucking Blair Witch 2 look like Titanic." "It's just so fucking gratuitous!" "I think that what makes this movie different... is that the violence isn't so gratuitous." "It's more like the whole movie is about... the whole psychological nature of fear." "I totally maxed out his Visa card paying for it." "Then somebody in Joe Roth's office saw it and said it was genius." "And now we have three meetings." "Seriously, you could write it." "I've read your poetry and it's really good." "I think I should direct it, too." "Yeah, and we should have this really hot sex scene, all gritty and real." "You know, like, European." "I'm not showing my ass." "My manager says I need to stop showing my ass." "You have a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe." "Shut up!" "Where?" " Honey, it's not working." " What?" "No, no." "It's not gonna happen for me." "It's not." "It's not gonna happen for me." "I'm sorry." " What's wrong?" " Nothing." "Don't take it personally." "Don't make this about me." "What?" "Am I not allowed to not have sex for once?" "Is that what our relationship is now?" "Wait a minute." "You woke me up by going down on me." "I don't know what's wrong with me." "Maybe that car accident we had... gave me some weird, Oliver-Sacks-blow-to-the-head disease." "Sorry." "My whole life seems like a bad dream." "It's like somebody else's life." "Like, if my life were a movie, I'd fall asleep or I'd walk out." " You still not seeing any clients?" " I can't." "I can't face it." "You know... sometimes you just got to force yourself to be active." " When you're, you know..." " Like what?" "When you're what?" "You think I'm depressed?" " Are you?" " Yeah." "Doesn't mean I wanna talk about it." "Okay." "This is my sister-in-law, Angie." " Angelica." " It's nice to meet you." "Likewise." "And this is Brody Farrell." " Are you the next of kin?" " No." "Becky's parents died when she was two." "She was raised by her grandmother, who also died." "She didn't really have anybody, except us." " I see." "Can I ask who will be..." " The cast of the movie." "We're all pitching in to pay for it." "We're going to need one person to be designated as the..." " Brody will do that." " Yeah." "She was sort of my girlfriend." "Do you know what kind of service you'd like?" "Cheap." "We provide a variety of services for the more budget-conscious client." " Sorry." "Just let me turn this off." " Take it." "I can handle it." "Please excuse me." " David Fisher." " Hi, David." "It's Kevin Miller." "You answered my personal ad in the LA Weekly." "I'm the fireman." "Yes, hi." "Of course." "We can start with the most simple of traditional funerals... which would include our American Eagle casket here." "I don't think we should bury her." "Becky was totally terrified of the dark." "We can still have a viewing... during which the casket will never be closed, followed by a cremation." "That's good." "And then we could scatter her ashes some place she really liked." "Like Griffith Park, or the Lava Lounge on La Brea." "I mean, I think we can skip the casket." "You sound like a really nice guy, too." "I am a really nice guy." "So, do you want to meet for coffee later this afternoon?" "This afternoon?" "Sure." "I have something at 3:00, but I can meet you after that." "Great, let's say at 4.00, at the Up All Night Coffee House." "I'll be wearing a red baseball cap." "Great, I love red." "It's one of my favorite colors..." " of which I have several." " Okay, see you then." "This is a beautiful and unusual cremains vessel." "The ashes actually fill these dolphins, which are carved out inside." "She wasn't really into dolphins." "I remember somebody suggesting she boycott tuna... because of the whole dolphins-getting-caught-in-the-net thing." "And she said:" ""Fuck dolphins." "I want a Nicoise salad."" " What are these?" " Those are keepsake miniature urns." "Sort of like lockets, if you will." "So everybody can get a piece of her." "Yes, it's an old custom from Thailand." " Becky loved Thai food." " So what did I miss?" "I'm sorry I'm late." "Why weren't you at school today?" "I was in school today." "I just wasn't in American History." "I mean, who needs to know that shit anyways, right?" "Somebody who wants to have a concept of how the world works... so they can have a fucking chance in life." "What crawled up your ass?" "It's all lies anyways." "Where were you?" "Andy and I skipped out after lunch." "We went to the car museum." "Did you get high?" "I'm 18 years old, living in fucking California." "I'm not allowed to get high?" "I'm worried about you, Gabe." "In case you don't remember, I have good reason to be." "I'm sorry, okay?" "But you don't have to worry about me, I swear." "Just please don't lie to me." "I'm not." "I'm okay... and I'm gonna stay okay... as long as I have you." "Let's take a look at your test results." "Well, I have some very good news." "You tested negative for the HIV antibody." "Thank God." "You need to be tested again in six months, just to be safe." "Let's see, negative for chlamydia, all hepatitises, syphilis." "Positive for gonorrhea." " What?" " Yeah." "Have you had any pain or difficulty urinating?" " No." " Any penile or anal discharge?" "No." "Gonorrhea can be completely asymptomatic... but if it's left untreated, it can lead to severe problems down the line." "I'm gonna give you some Cipro." "It usually knocks it right out." "Well, this is certainly embarrassing." "Did you engage in unprotected sex?" "Yes." "Bad boy." " How was school?" " Dull and depressing." "What are you reading?" "Now That You Know." "Now that you know what?" "That David is gay." "I take it you knew already." "How do you feel about it?" "Are you hurt?" "Angry?" " Do you wish he wasn't gay?" " No." "Those are all valid feelings, you know." "I don't care if he's gay, just as long as he's happy." "According to this book... we should all be very open to how we feel... and we should try to express those feelings... because the foundation of intimacy is truth." "Okay." "Have you ever had any feelings of same-sex attraction?" "What?" "No, Mom." " It's nothing to be ashamed of." " I know." "When I was your age..." "I actually had a little crush on Jane Fonda." "She's single again, so now's your chance." "I just never got into that whole promiscuous thing, you know." "First guy I had sex with..." "I ended up in a relationship with for four years." "One-man kind of guy." "Always have been." "What about you?" "Definitely." "Sex just for the sake of having sex, what is that?" "Don't get me wrong." "I love sex." "I'm a very sexual being." "I just think it's better when there's something emotional going on behind it." "I credit my parents for that." "My mom and dad have been together for almost 40 years." "They're still hot for each other." "And they've never been anything but 100% supportive of me." "Wow." "I gotta get to work." "Listen, it's been great meeting you." "This was fun." "Would you like to do it again?" "I don't think so." "You seem like a really nice guy, but I gotta be honest." "I didn't feel much of a spark." "Can't make it happen if it's not there, right?" "It definitely looks like AVM." "Fuck." "So now what?" "Well, that depends." "Remind me what your symptoms have been." " Headaches." " All the time?" "No, just occasionally." "Mostly on the left side of my head." "Any seizures?" "Impairment of vision?" "Sense of smell?" "Once I had a flutter, just on the edge of my vision." "I'm as blind as a bat." "Once I woke up, I could see perfectly out of my left eye." "Lasted for a day and then it went away." "Who knows what the hell that was?" "So what next?" "Well, let's see." "It's in a not overly-eloquent brain area." " You left-handed?" " No." " That's not good." " Why not?" "And it's a little larger than I'd like it to be." "Yeah, it's a little larger than I'd like it to be." "Okay." "You want options, I'll give you the big three:" "Cranial surgery." "Not a picnic." "Embolization." "Closing off the blood vessels by injecting glue into them." "Sometimes we use platinum coils instead." "And finally, radial surgery." "Focused radiation." "Die, you little motherfucker!" "If I'd never been in a car accident and gotten a routine x-ray of my skull... this would've never even come up, right?" "Until something happened." "It's possible that I could go my entire life without it ever creating a problem." " Anything's possible." " Do you think I need surgery?" "I can't really say, without more tests." "I think you might benefit from embolization." "However, anytime you close off the large arteries going into an AVM... the smaller blood vessels feeding it tend to increase in size." "Okay, so it doesn't really work." " There's only so much we can do." " Oh, God!" "Fuck!" "Fine." "You know what?" "Just don't do anything, okay?" "I'm going to put this all out of my head, no pun intended, and just get on with life." "I'm not sure..." "I don't give a fuck what you think, you arrogant piece of shit." "Okay, even if we decide not to do anything at this juncture..." "There's no "we." I decide." "I'd still like to get another MRI on you in 12 months." "And I'd like a fucking straight answer, asshole." "It's kind of ironic." "You don't smoke, you run every day, eat all that healthy crap." "Shut up!" "Now me, I smoked, I drank, I ate any old thing I wanted." "And I inhaled embalming fluid for God knows how long." "You know what?" "If it wasn't for that bus, I'd have lived to be 93." "It's the first time I've driven since then." "You may want to fasten your seatbelt." "Well, who's the dead man in this car?" "It's not me!" "Fuck you!" "We thank you, Heavenly Father... for this and all thy blessings in Christ's name." "Amen." "Amen." "I've invited Nikolai to dinner Sunday night." "I'd like you all to be there." "Nikolai the flower guy?" "Yes, he and I are having a sexual relationship now." "I'm not sure if it's something that's going to last, but there it is." "We're all adults." "We're all sexual beings." "We should acknowledge that." "Okay." "Nate, I'd like you to invite Brenda." "Claire, I'd like you to invite Gabriel Dimas." "And, David, if you have a special friend, I'd like for him to come, as well." "Why is my friend special?" "All right." "If you're having sex with anyone, I'd like to meet him." "Is that better?" "Not really." "Stop acting like children!" " Where are you going?" " I'm just getting an aspirin." "Do you have a headache?" "No, I read you should take an aspirin a day." "It keeps the blood thin." "Please, if our blood were any thinner, we'd evaporate." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Is that some sort of insult?" "We're thin-blooded?" "Mom, no, it was a joke." "I'm more thin-blooded than any of us, probably." "Are you seeing anyone?" "No." "Why not?" "Sex is an important and healthy part of life." "It's nothing to be ashamed of." "Yes, I know that." "Unfortunately, I'm not having any right now." "What happened to that cop... the black man?" "He met someone else." "Thank you." "You don't have any free time tomorrow?" " I don't think so." " I'd really like to see you." "I have three shiatsu appointments." "You're the one that wanted me to get on with my life." "You can still come Sunday night for dinner, right?" "Even if just for the entertainment value." "It's bound to be a freak fest." "I think so." "Maybe." " I miss you." " You just saw me." "I know, I just... would really like to be with you at this moment in time." " Right now." " I'll see you soon." "Sunday, okay?" "I love you." "I love you, too." " Hey, Rico." " Hey, boss man." "I've got a favor to ask you." "Okay." "Could you please drop her off at the crematorium for me tonight?" "Come on, man." "Vanessa's just a bit overwhelmed at home." "Julio's got a cold and Augusto hasn't slept through the night for a month." "No, I can't." "I'm sorry, Rico, but I can't." "Okay." "Can you at least help me put her inside the box?" "Sure." "So, cardboard box?" "Classy." "She obviously didn't think her life was worth anything, so it makes sense to me." "On three." "One, two, three." "It's kind of sad." "It's not." "She threw her fucking life away." "It's not sad." "It's pathetic." "We tend to forget how many gifts God has given each and every one of us... because our lives are so filled with distractions... crowded with messages competing for our attention... encouraging us to be unhappy with our lives." "If only we looked younger... had perfect skin... zero body fat." "The truth of the matter is God loves us just the way we are." "Some people said, "Congratulations." "You've really shaken things up." Whatever." "Most people in the congregation wouldn't even make eye contact with me after that." "So now I'm back at St. Stephen's." "So, how are you guys?" " Good." "We're good." " Just got back from a weekend in San Diego." " Spectacular." " We went parasailing." "Keith won't admit it, but he was scared to death." "I was not scared." "Might have had a little rush of adrenaline... but that's the point, right?" "I'll have him hang-gliding by the end of the year, if it kills me." "In your dreams, fool!" "I am not breaking every bone in my body just to impress you." "Seven years I've been hang-gliding." "I never broke anything." " You're just lucky." " Don't I know it?" "Ladies and gentlemen, only one of these men will be crowned..." "Mr. Gay Black America!" "Did I tell you I'm moving?" " Where?" " Same building." "A bigger place opened up." "We've been wanting to get a dog." "Great." "Do I seem more tense than usual?" "You're not supposed to talk, remember?" "It takes us both out of it." "The only conversation is between your body and my hands." "Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're on my dime here." "I discovered one of the worst things about selling 3 million books... is constantly feeling like I have to apologize for it, you know?" "It's like, "I make a ton of money, so I must be part of the problem."" " Yes." " Yes, what?" "You do seem more tense than usual." "I'm not responsible for cancer." "I'm not responsible for world hunger." "What if I'm just happy, and that's my contribution to the world?" "I'm thinking of pitching a book to my publisher." "Bit of a cultural history, tracing the how, and the why, and when..." " it became such a sin to be happy." " Drop." "Who knows, it might help some of those poor sad fucks... who are incapable of experiencing joy." " Get out of my house." " Excuse me?" " Get the fuck out of my house." " What is wrong with you?" "You don't have any respect for me or what I do." "I'm just another servant who has to listen to your bullshit... and pretend like I don't think you're the stupid asshole windbag that you are." "You crazy bitch." "I'm paying you for a shiatsu, and I intend to get a shiatsu." "I don't need your fucking money." "I do not allow people to treat me like this." "Yeah?" "Well, if you don't get out of my fucking house right now..." "I'll call the LA Times and I'll tell them about the lipo scars on your ass." "Right now." "Get out!" "So this is where the magic happens." "Yeah, this is it." "What's that smell?" "It's like..." "Disinfectant, burnt coffee, embalming fluid." ""For the velvety look and feel of actual living tissue."" " No fucking way!" " You do not even want to know." "They have these plastic screws, only bigger... that they stick into people's orifices, so stuff won't spill out." " That's some kind of fucked up." " Welcome to my world." "So this is where my brother was?" "Jesus, I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have brought you down here." "I'm the one who asked to see it." "What?" "You're the first guy I've ever brought home to meet my family... and I feel weird, you know?" "I feel nervous." "Don't worry." "I will be on my best behavior." "Okay?" "Come on." "Your mother is a good woman." " Yes, we're aware of that." " David, give him a break." "Sorry, you'll have to excuse my brother." "He's been majorly cranky ever since he stopped getting laid." " How old you are?" " Thirty-one." "Good." "I had a son." "He would be a little bit older than you." "He was a student of medicine." " Look who's here." " Hello." "I've got major cotton mouth." " Who wants to say grace?" " I will say grace." ""The poor shall eat, and be filled." ""And those that seek the Lord shall praise him." ""Their hearts will live forever and ever." ""Glory be to the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit..." ""both now and forever..." ""and unto the ages of ages." ""Amen." ""Lord have mercy." ""Lord, bless." ""O Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God..." ""for the sake of the prayers of thy most pure mother and all the saints..." ""have mercy on us." ""Amen."" "Nikolai, you are so beautiful." "Thank you." "You're such a beautiful person." "There is this total light coming out of you." "That's a very unusual compliment, Nate." " Your brother is high." " I know, look at his eyes." " Are you all right?" " I am more than all right." "I haven't felt this good in..." "I don't even know how long it's been." "Yes." "You know how long it's been since I've heard you do that?" "Remember when we were first going out, you used to laugh all the time." "I miss that." "Your laughter's like music." " Nate." " What?" "You're high." "No, I'm not." "Am I?" "Look at the light." "Oh, my God, I am high." "I love the little..." "They're like halos." "What is he high on?" "I wouldn't know." "I am so not hungry." "I think this went pretty good tonight." "What are you talking about?" " It was awkward and embarrassing." " What?" "I mean, my son is high on drugs!" "What am I supposed to do about that?" "Should I intervene?" "Join a support group?" "He just seems happy." "We're going to the movies." "Good night, Mrs. Fisher." "Thank you for dinner." "What movie?" "We haven't decided yet, but we'll be back late." "Mom, you said yourself, we're all adults." "We'll be back late." "Good night." "It's all about flowing." "It flows up, it flows down." "And then, sometimes, things stop it from flowing." "You stay." "It's like you just move in a little pool." "You're like a little eddy." "And that's what it all comes down to." "Everything in my life, every thing..." "You know, this thing in my head... it's all about flow." "Flow?" "Oh, my God!" "That was so totally you!" "That was just so totally David!" "I love you." " Okay, I'm out of here." " No, you have to take him with you." "Hope I did nothing to fuck you up when we were kids." "Not when he's like this." "Did you know I taught David how to masturbate?" "No, I didn't, and you know what, Nate?" "That's fascinating, but I have to go." "No, just wait a second." "I just want to say goodbye." "Come here." "Oh, God!" " I love you so fucking much." " You're so fucking high." "But how'd I get that way?" "You can't just get high out of nowhere." " You have to take drugs." "I didn't take any." " Did you take any aspirin?" "Yeah." "There may have been a stray tab of Ecstasy... in the aspirin bottle in the kitchen cabinet." "Oh, dear." "You call me when you crash." "No, call me after you crash." "You know what?" "Call me next week." "I hope you like her." " It's important to me that you like her." " I do like her." "'Cause you're the only brother I have." "Time to kiss your sweet ass goodbye, cupcake." "Yeah, slice her up!" "That was hostile." "Isn't that the girl that you guys are burying?" " She's hot." " She's hot and dead." "This calls for someone with experience." "Someone who knows her way around Griffith Park." " That's me." " In the daytime." "You gotta love her." "In fact, if God gave me the ingredients and told me to make a woman..." "I'd make her just like my wife." "They lost no time in tucking into the wonderful meal Boris had prepared." "And then there was a dessert." "I guess Boris knows I always like to have lettuce for dessert, don't you, Boris?" "I hope the meal was satisfactory." "It was delightful, Boris!" "You're a wonderful cook." "It was nothing, Martha." "Straight out of the cookbook." "It's yummy, Boris." "I couldn't eat another thing." "Yeah, it's not bad for a first effort." "Fuck." "Buddy boy!" "Come on, saved a place for you." "Chinese checkers." " I always hated this game." " That's because you never played for money." "Nate, I want you to meet a couple of friends of mine." "Well, honey, this is the man." "Death." "The Grim Reaper." "Cigar?" " No, thanks." " Good for you, baby." "That stuff is nasty." " And this is..." " My partner." "That sounds so professional." "I love it." " Life." " Shut up." "Oh, yeah, it's a whole yin-yang thing." "You telling me you two are in business together?" "Honey, me and him are in all kinds of shit together!" "Let's just say it's a mutually beneficial arrangement." "It's your turn." "Shouldn't I wait for you to start a new game?" "This game ain't never gonna end." "You're either in the game, or you're out of it." ""On or off the bus," if you prefer." "All right, I'm in." "You gotta put something in the kitty, son." " What are you betting?" " Everything." "All right, I'll bet everything." "Whatever." " I'm shaking." " Hey, buddy boy, no." "You don't wanna get this guy mad, believe me." "I don't get mad." "I have people who do it for me." "Showoff!" "But that always gets me going." "You wanna fuck me, puppet head?" "Momma!" "Yeah, baby!" "That's it." "Go to town, big daddy!" "Big cosmic mystery." "Right here, right in front of you." "You can't say your old man never took you any place interesting." "Yeah, but I'm high." "I know I'm high." ""All that lives, lives forever." ""Only the shell, the perishable passes away."" "Fuck, yeah." ""The spirit is without end." "Eternal." ""Deathless."" "Now take this over here and..." "Look at that, folks." "Look at that for a holiday dinner." "If we had some mint jelly, that would be fabulous." " Unbelievable!" " Smell that." "So all I get to do is smell it?" " Show them." " Smell this." " Isn't that wonderful?" " Oh, boy!" " Hello?" " Oh, no, did I wake you?" "Yeah, you did." "What's up?" "I just wanted to thank you for inviting me out..." " with you and Eddie yesterday after church." " Okay." "And to tell you that... it's really important to me that we've remained friends." "If you'd ever like to do something, just the two of us, I'd really like that." "Look, David, I'm happy that we're friends... but I'm in a relationship." "A good one." " I know." " You and me, it ain't happening." "Yeah, I know that." "It's just kind of hard for me to be around you and Eddie together." "You need to get over that." "Jesus, Keith, could you be a little more self-righteous?" " Good morning, Mom." " You're up early." "I've been having trouble sleeping recently." "Not sure why." "Where's Nikolai?" " Home." " He didn't stay over?" "Of course not." "You know, Mom... if you did want for him to stay over, that would be your right." " I know that." "I don't need your permission." " No, you don't." "Nor do I need yours." "Of course not." "You had a terrible time last night, didn't you?" "Kind of." "I did it for you." "Arranged the whole evening." " Why?" " Some stupid book told me to." " Throw that book away." " I intend to." "Does Nate have a problem with drugs now?" "Is this something I need to know about?" "I think he took it by accident." "How can something like that be an accident?" "Rebecca Milford's star shone all too briefly." "But, oh, how brightly it shone." "This is really boring." "How very, very brightly indeed." "No, it's hilarious, is what it is." "Gabe, a girl died." "So what?" "Everybody dies." "How did Ecstasy get in the aspirin bottle?" "Is that Claire's idea of a joke?" "I think I might have left it in there." " Where did you get it?" " You remember the square-dancing guy?" "Do you think you could get some more?" "I wrote something about Becky... that I'd like to share with everyone here." "Tiny Venus" "Your breath like baby rabbits on a field abuzz with bees and life" "Little did you know" "How briefly the sun would shine upon your own private Utopia" "Your candle may have been blown out but you hang in the air like smoke" "Right on." "That's my man." "What are you doing down here?" "It was a stupid idea of me to go to a funeral for fun." "Yeah, I tried to tell you that." " Okay, so you were right." " Are you okay?" "I'm fine." "Why do you have to..." " I'm not a pet!" "I'm not your pet!" " I'm sorry." "I'm going home." "You said you guys were all pitching in together to pay for this." "Yeah, I paid my $600, and I'm not paying a penny more." "Do you know how rude that girl was to me?" "You know how this is gonna make me look?" "So?" "Go talk to Brody." "He's the one who supposedly can't come up with his share." " You brought this funeral here." " So?" "So maybe you need to come up with the difference." "Maybe you need to get off my case... considering I just gave your wife $500 so she can pay for fucking diapers!" " What are you talking about?" " You heard me." " What the fuck are you talking about?" " She asked me for it." "What are you doing?" "This way, she'll always be a part of us." "You fucking moron." "You're all fucking morons." "You are all such incredibly stupid losers!" " Chill." " You people are fucking disgusting!" " Who the hell are you?" " Fucking bunch of junkies!" " This is not cool." " Did you see what these people are doing?" "I know, but this is our business, these are our clients." "They can do whatever they want." "We'll see you back here real soon, okay?" "And we'll be snorting you next time!" ""All that lives, lives forever." ""Only the shell, the perishable passes away." ""The spirit is without end." "Eternal." ""Deathless."" "It's the Bhagavad-Gita." "Really?" " I never read it." " You read it at my house." " I don't think so." " Don't you remember?" "I went on and on... about the Peter Brook production of The Mahabharata in London?" "But it felt so profound." "Are you telling me it's just recycled crap from my brain?" "From your drug-addled brain." "Hello?" "So were you just not going to tell me or did you just forget?" "Forget what?" "A certain test you took recently." "They posted the results today." "Congratulations, Mr. Funeral Director." "You gotta be shitting me." "I'm looking at your name, plain as day." ""Nathaniel Samuel Fisher, Jr."" "You know, I had totally forgotten about that." "I'm proud of you, Nate." "Thanks." "I'll see you later." " Where are you going?" " I have a client at 8:30." " That's a little late, isn't it?" " No, it's not that late." "Can I come over later?" "Not tonight, okay?" "I'm having enough trouble just being with myself right now." "I'm sorry." "It's not you." "It's me." "I'm fucked up." "And you can't fix it." "You're in the game now, buddy boy... whether you like it or not." "Episode 2x02 Out, Out, Brief Candle" "100 yards, 10 times." "80 yards times 8." "60 by 6." "40 by 4. 20 by 2." "All in under 14 minutes." "You know the drill." "Let's toe the line, gentlemen!" "Listen I gotta make this cut to get that scholarship." "Look, man, just don't stop running." "Don't stop running for nothing." "You keep on with me, you'll be on the starting' line with me." "Come on, baby." " Do you want to play football?" " Yes, sir!" " I said, do you want to play football?" "I can't hear you!" " Yes, sir!" "Set." "Plus vite." "On se dépêche, lavettes !" "Courez." "Vous me comprenez, ou je parle chinois ?" " How you doin', Sam?" " Just worry about your own self" "Touchez cette putain de ligne !" "Tu traînes, Josh." "Avance !" "Avance !" " This is me beating' you" " Dream on, faggot!" "Vous y êtes." "Allez, allez !" "Man down!" "Man down!" "We've got a player down!" "Fight through it, Sam." "Sam ?" "Sam ?" "Okay, he's breathing." "Fuck!" "Give a hand for Sam, everybody." "This is the spirit of a real football player here!" "Do you think caviar is too pretentious?" "Well, with the foie gras and the smoked salmon, it might seem like you're trying a little too hard to impress him." "Fuck." "I do want to impress him without it looking like I could give a shit, which, actually, I don't." "So, why do you want to impress him?" "I don't know." "Because Trevor was a big part of my life once." "Cause his wife won a fucking National Book Award." "Because I have nothing else to obsess about." "Well, you have me." "You I take totally for granted, don't you know that?" "I'm so glad you're feeling better." "Yeah, you and me both, fuck-o." "That's the thing about depression." "If you really allow yourself to feel it, it gets very boring very fast." "You're not jealous, are you?" "Of Trevor ?" "Should I be?" "No." "Of course not." "So what if he's the man whose masterly touch ushered me into womanhood?" "The one I ultimately compare all other men to?" "Okay, okay, fine." "But, just so you know, you'll only have yourself to blame when I go all alpha dog and beat him to a bloody pulp in front of his wife and kid!" "Oh, my Hero !" "I'm gonna kick his ass." "Fucking Trevor." "Fucking Trevor." "Good morning, Mrs. Huntley." "Looks like another scorcher, huh?" "Where are my new acquisitions, Mr. Gilardi?" "I'm on it." "What you're on is my shit list, cowboy." "I made you personally responsible for finding three homes that we can dump at a profit, and what do I get from you?" "Diddly squat!" "I already closed McKenzie Bros. and Dayle Montgomery!" "Three new homes, Mr. Gilardi." "Apparently, I misjudged your capabilities." "What about Fisher  Sons?" "You've been after them for months now." "Well, they're more resilient than I expected." "Jeez Louise!" "Man, play like you've got a big dick!" "Can you get them for me or not?" "You said I had till the end of the year." "Well, Christmas came early this year." "You're fired." "What ?" "Your presence is no longer required." "You're hereby rendered irrelevant." "You can't be serious!" "Mitzi!" "I can do this." "I swear." "Now just give me another chance!" "You know, just because I fucked you, that doesn't put us on a first name basis!" "Well, you're dressed early." "We have an intake at 9:30." "Josh Langmead." "Am I supposed to know who that is?" "Don't you watch the news?" "Not if I can help it." "It's too depressing." "Josh Langmead is the Cal State football player who died of heatstroke yesterday." "21 years old." "In perfect health." "Till his brain fried." "Fuck." "Well, I'm off to Torrence." "I have a breakfast meeting with the Living Splendour sales rep." "Wait a minute." "That means..." "Now that you're a licensed funeral director, we can get twice as much work done around here!" "Just do me a favor." "Don't even mention the word "cremation."" "Okay." "Can I mention the word "condescending"?" "Be back by noon!" "We thought Josh would want to be wearing his number for the viewing." "Well, of course." "I took him to his first Rams game when he was 3." "It wasn't long after that he started wanting to play football." "He had..." "He had NFL sheets." "Curtains." "Pajamas." "Five Halloweens in a row, he went as Bo Jackson." "It was his dream to play pro." "I bet he could've, too." "I think he was good enough." "He was certainly motivated enough." "You ever play ball?" "Football." "No, no way." "My dad wouldn't let me." "He said it was too d..." "I played a little baseball in high school." "Have you made a decision about a casket?" "We'd like the Titan 4." "How much is that?" "9200 $." "What the hell?" "It's only money." "Well, granted, 1400 square feet is a bit cozy, but the layout is so ergonomic that it feels twice as large." "Honey, it's got a sun roof!" " Girl's gotta get a better poker face." " Yeah, too late." "It's very good that you brought your own inspector." "Uh, no, he's my cousin." "He's in construction." " So what's with the foundation?" " Oh, nothing." "Perfect shape." "Well, part of it was rebuilt two years ago, to the tune of 20,000." "So, it's better than new now." "Excuse me." "What do you think, man?" "I'm not living here, man." "I've got a house." "What do you think?" "I don't know." "Vanessa likes it." "Yeah, Vanessa likes dragging you around by your crank, too, is what I think." "You're talking about my wife, man." "Vanessa and me are tight, man." "You know that." "It's not about her." "I'm just breaking it down to you the way the guys have been telling me." "You've been acting like a candy-ass bitch ever since you got married." "Screw you, Ramon!" "Hey, screw me all you want!" "You know I'm right." "What are all these people doing in our new house?" "Baby," " do you really like the house?" " Yes!" "Yes!" "Rico, the house is good." "It's got some little problems, but nothing I can't fix." "Rico, there's a yard for the boys." "They'll be able to walk to school." "You're closer to work." "Ramon, can we use your truck to move?" "Nate Fisher." "Hi there, Nate, this is Sheri from Appleby Caskets." "We received your fax order, and I'm awfully sorry, but the Titan 4 is no longer in production." "Oh, you've got to be shitting me!" "Well, you must not have our 2002 catalogue!" " I can pop it in the mail if you'd..." " Well, what's the closest casket to the Titan?" "Oh, that would probably be our Haven 2." "4100 wholesale." "Usually retails for about 11600 $." " Son of a motherfuck!" " Sir!" "Alright, I'll have to get back to you." "I swear, I fuckin' hate public school!" "This year-round shit?" "Fuck!" "Well, we get October off, and six weeks in the spring." "What do you want?" "This Persian girl who used to be my best friend at Archer, till I fucked her brother, she's spending the entire summer in France!" "Where the fuck is Gabe?" "He was supposed to meet us here like 10 minutes ago!" "Dink, it's gonna be alright, man." "Everything is chill." "It's not chill." "The cops have that fuckin' video at every school in L.A.!" "Which means they haven't ided us yet, okay?" "Which means they probably can't id us, and anyone who could is gonna keep quiet if they know what's good for him." "You'd better fuckin' hope so..." "You fucker!" "Did you fuckin' tell somebody?" "Because if you fucking told somebody, I will fucking kill your bitch-ass, do you hear me?" " No, asshole!" " What about Andy?" "How am I supposed to know?" "He's your fuckin' best friend!" "What ?" "Uh, you were supposed to meet us like 10 minutes ago." "We're waiting." "Jesus, Claire, don't pussy whip him." "You gotta act like you don't care." "Guys hate it when they're pussy-whipped." "Like you've ever stuck around long enough to find out," "Wonder Slut!" "What, Squirrel Nut?" "Your soul's on fire." "I know." "Your souls are on fire." "Whoa, you are not on the list of people who get to touch my tits!" "Andy, what is wrong?" " Get 'em off me!" "Get 'em off me!" " This is so fucked up!" "Oh, God!" "Andy, Andy, say something to me." "I don't know what to do right now!" "Andy!" "Oh my God!" "Andy!" "Look at me!" "Go get the nurse!" " Did he take something?" " Go!" "You stop it, stop it, you fucking bitch, or I will kick the shit out of you." "Do you hear me?" "What the fuck are you looking at?" "I told you last week that the Titan Series was out of production." "Yeah, well, I think that you should have torn the damn page out of the catalogue!" "It was an honest mistake." "We'll give them the Haven 2 for 11600$ instead." " David, they're already paying more than they can afford." " You don't know that." "God, I cannot tell you how much I hate it when you patronize me!" "I'm being understanding." "You want patronizing?" "I'll give you patronizing!" "Hey, guys." "Hey, Rico." "Langmead's in the reefer." "Yeah." "You guys got a moment?" "Yeah, what's up?" "Vanessa and I found a house." "Oh, Rico, that's great!" "Yeah, yeah, we really like the house!" "And, uh, we can swing the monthly payments, if we put down 20%." "What are we talking about?" "Well, we pieced most of it together, but we're about 11 grand short." "11.000 ?" "Yup." "By tomorrow." "Look, we'll pay you back, over 18 months, at 7% interest." "Now, that's a lot better than the bank, and not too far off the market." "We'll let you know by tomorrow." "Thanks." "But right now, Mr. Langmead needs your attention." "I'm on it." "See?" "I am understanding." "That's a lovely arrangement." "What is it?" "Scalene vase." "Didn't they teach you anything at Daffodil University?" "Actually, it's... a combination of inverted T and scalene." "It's my own design, and it's yours." "No." "I just wanted to learn how to make one." "It's a gift from my heart." "Seriously." "Thank you so much, Robbie." "Okay, Ruth, this is going to be hard for me to say, but..." "I forgive you." "Forgive me?" "For what?" "You destroyed the natural order of the universe, cupcake." "Everything was perfectly quiet and boring around here before you came, and now Nikolai's all aflutter, wanting to make improvements." "I'm expected to work." "For his own carnal reasons, he favors you over me." "And for that, I forgive you." "I resent that!" "I've always conducted myself with complete professionalism!" "Whatever, Ruth, I forgive you." "I don't need your forgiveness!" "Oh, no, no, goddammit!" "It's not supposed to go this way!" "What isn't?" "OK, Ruth, I'm graduating from The Plan tomorrow, and I would really like it if you would be my witness." "The Plan?" "What is The Plan?" "It's a multi-disciplined course that allows you to think way beyond yourself, and rebuild your life, from the ground floor, plank by plank." "That sounds awful!" "It teaches you how to feel really good about yourself and get what you want out of life." "Do you want to go?" "It would really mean a lot to me, Ruth." " Wow!" " Pretty sweet, huh?" "Each portal is lit by recessed halogens." "Tasteful signs for the model name, materials, and pricing." "And this little drawer here?" "This displays your interior upholstery fabric." "Point of purchase does not get any better than this, my friends." "It's very impressive." "Impressive?" "It's fucking gorgeous!" "It's a completely interactive retail experience!" "'Cause human beings, we're tactile." "We like to touch the fruit before we buy." "I can't believe you guys!" "You're still using a catalogue!" "Now these caskets here, there're on the upper level." "They appeal to men." "It's at their average height." "Down below are the ladies' favorites." "I have seen the future, and this is it!" "Dave, where would it go?" "We put it in the second viewing room!" "What, the room that we've been using for storage?" "David, that room needs serious work." "So?" "We use this as a reason to do it!" "Haven't we been planning to do that with the money Mom gave us anyway?" "Dave, that money is almost all gone." "A two by five like this will not break your back." "21500 $." "I'll tell you what." "20500." "That includes installation." "I'll even throw in a fresh coat of paint for your room." "You cannot beat that with a stick." "Nate, you always say we need to spend money to make money." "Alright, how long to install?" "Give me the word, and you'll be making sales in two days." " You really like it?" " Who wouldn't?" "!" "?" "I've never seen David happier." "It was like Christmas morning when we were kids." "Whoa!" "Working out a little aggression there?" "We're having chicken piccatta." "It needs to marinate over night." "You never cook like this for me." "You never even cook." "And when Trevor goes back to New Haven, I need you to forget that I can!" "Alright." "What should I wear?" "Speedo?" "Hair extensions?" "Wear what you want." "I don't care." "Don't wear one of your funeral suits." "Oh, I thought you don't care." "Wear something that makes you look like the sexy bad boy you really are." "Something that makes Mister Wife and Kids question all of his middle-class choices." "I'm all for that, just as long as you wear something low-cut in the back, so he can see my name branded on your ass!" "Hello!" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hey." "New casket wall, huh?" "You boys are doing better than I thought." "I'm Mitzi Dalton Huntley." "David Fisher." "Do you need to plan a funeral?" "You have no idea who I am do you." "I'm Southwest Regional Director for Kroehner Services, International." "I was hoping that maybe you and your brother might share a cup of coffee with me." "Well, hello!" "Mitzi Dalton Huntley." "Nate Fisher." "You're a runner, huh?" "It's bad for your knees." "Yeah, well, everything's bad for something." "So I hear." "Why are you here?" "I made it abundantly clear to Matt Gilardi we're not interested in selling." "Oh, Matt Gilardi is no longer with Kroehner." "Yup." "I fired his worthless ass, because I didn't like the way that he was representing our company." "And that is why I'm here today." "To do a little damage control, and apologize to you boys." "Right." "Oh, I don't blame you for not trusting me." "Frankly, I'd be worried about you if you did." " Cream with three sugars." " Well, thank you." "You didn't put rat poison in here, did you?" "Drink it and find out." "Oh, please!" "You boys aren't afraid of Big Bad Mitzi, are you?" "Come on." "The economy is in a tail spin." "Corporations are downsizing, and resizing, and reorganizing, including Kroehner." "We can't afford to take you over." "Honey, we've got problems of our own." "Okay, let's just cut the foreplay." "But that's the best part." "It's not that we don't trust you." "We despise everything you stand for:" "corporate profits over personal service, stockholders over clients, greed over everything else, so I think you should take your gesture of good faith, and shove it up your ass!" "Ooh, well that's one opinion." "Anything that you would care to add, David?" "No, I think Nate pretty much summed our position up." "Well, alrighty then." "I'll just show myself out." "By the way, you might want to clean out your coffeemaker." "Your coffee sucks." "This is not so good." "Well, who the fuck is named Mitzi anyway?" "That sounds like something you name a fuckin' chiuaua!" "Pretty bitchin', huh?" "When did you start getting all excited over caskets?" "You're turning into David!" "Don't ever say that again!" "Very nice." "Oh, welcome to Casketeria!" "May I take your order?" "So, Mr. Langmead is all ready to go." "Great." "Yeah." "So, Nate, have you guys had a chance to think about what we...you know?" " Uh, yeah..." " yeah?" " Yeah, let's go in the office." " Okay." "So do these really open?" "Can you, like, hide shit in here?" "Can you close the door?" "Close the door doesn't sound too good." "We can't give you a loan right now, Rico." "Look, we just spent a fortune on the new casket wall, and now we have to maintain an emergency fund in case Kroehner starts acting up again, which suddenly looks very likely." "It was a tough choice, I'm sorry." "How much did that casket wall cost?" "Rico, our first priority is keeping this house open." "The more income we make, the more you can make." "Tell me one thing." "Did you and David decide to buy that wall before or after we spoke." "Wow." "You know, first you won't make me a partner, now you won't even..." "God, you know, I've had it with you moping about not being a partner." "It's not happening, alright?" "I wish I could help you, but I can't." "I mean, fuck, we're your employer, alright!" "We're not a goddamned savings and loan!" "I'm sorry, Rico." "If it were my money, I'd give you all of it, you know that." "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "I'll pass it along to my kids, after playing in a parking lot next to a dumpster!" "Fuck!" "I'm scared." "What's gonna happen to me now?" "Well, that"s not my problem, pal." "What?" "I was so young." "Why me?" "Well, why the fuck not you?" "What?" "Did you think you were immune to this?" "Everybody!" "What makes you so fuckin' special?" "What do you think?" "I'm not signing up for anything." "Oh, I'm not selling anything." "I'm a visitor, just like you." "Do you know how you can tell?" "The Elevated wear plastic tags." "The Elevated?" "Oh, you'll learn the lingo." "My daughter is graduating today." "You?" "My business associate is graduating." "So what exactly is this?" "Well, I don't know for sure myself." "But Shelia has never been happier, so I wanted to see what it was all about." "Let's get started." "Today just might be the most important day of your entire lives." "Come sit with me." "There's safety in numbers." "You cannot design a life that works without first drafting a clear blueprint." "And you cannot construct a life that has meaning without first laying a solid foundation." "You are the architect of your life." "Not your emotionally distant father." "Not your overly critical mother." "Not your petty, fairweather friends." "You !" "It was hard the first time I stood up for myself." "I always wanted everybody to like me." "Even though I hated myself, you had to like me." "When I rebuilt my foundation, and I was able to honor and elevate the better part of me," "I realized I really like me." "So you don't have to!" "I'm not a salvage job." "I am not a teardown." "I am not junk." "It's taken me many years to say that." "To believe it." "There are days that I slip, and I treat people like shit." "Like I treated myself for the last 30 years." "But then I swear I'm going to win this." "I'm going to build the life that I always wanted to live." "I thought it was too late." "Two terrible marriages." "Children who won't even return my phone calls." "It hurts." "I'm 41 and I feel like I'm 80." "But I have value." "I'm still here." "And as long as I believe in myself and speak fiercely from the Eye, then there's still hope." "There's no mortgage on my life." "I own it." "Thank you, Mom." "Well, that was humiliating." "As if my self-esteem wasn't low enough." "It's kind of funny." "All that time we were racquetball partners, we actually never played racquetball." "I am serious about wanting to learn how to play." "Are you available Thursday afternoon?" "I don't know." "I'll check." "Hey, wanna drop by my niece's birthday party later?" " Eddie's on call." " Uh, sure." "I got a couple of errands to run." "I'll call you later." "I've got nothing to do." "I'll just tag along, if that's okay." "Oh my God." "Did you hear?" "Andy was doing Fry!" "I'm sorry." "In English?" "Fry !" "Wet !" "Illy !" "You're telling me you've never heard of Fry?" "I'm sorry." "My parole officer frowns on controlled substances." "Okay." "You take your standard garden variety doobie, right?" "You dip it in embalming fluid, cut it with God knows what, and BAM!" "All your states are altered and you see God!" "Or...you're in tweaker hell, bouncing off lockers, and swallowing your own tongue, like Andy." "Embalming fluid?" "Are you kidding me?" "I've smelled that shit!" "It's like lethal!" "You oughtta get out more." "Live a little." " You've done this?" "!" "?" " No." "But if you ever wanted to make a quick buck..." "Oh, fuck off, Parker!" "I am not getting into the pot and embalming fluid business!" "I've had enough run-ins with the police, thank you!" "At 50 $ a pop, you might change your mind." "Oh my God!" "That fuckin' asshole!" "Right?" "I mean, Andy's gonna be in detox for like a week!" "Look okay?" "It looks fine." "It looks like a page out of Gourmet Magazine!" "Excellent !" "You know they put hairspray on food before they photograph it sometimes?" "Really?" "Yeah, I used to go out with this food stylist in Seattle." "I mean, they do stuff to food that is way worse than what we do to bodies, believe you me." "Okay." "Tell me I look beautiful." "You are beautiful." "You even mean that." "Okay." " Hi!" " Hi!" "Will, at least say "Hello!"" "Hello!" "Wow, Bren, it's great to see you!" "It really is." "Oh my God!" "I'm gonna cry!" " You must be Dawn!" " Hi!" "Oh, it's nice to meet you." "Thank you so much for letting us bring Will." "Trevor really wanted you to meet him." "Oh, I really wanted to meet him." "Hey, hi, Will!" "Will, can you say hi?" "He'll crash in a little while." "I promise." " Hi." "I'm Trevor." " Nate." "Oh!" "Nate." "Dawn." " Hi." "How are you?" " Pleasure." "This place is really cool." " Yeah." "So, wine anyone?" " I'd love a glass." "..." "I want wine!" "Oh, you do?" "Well, what do you say?" "Hi, Mr. Pooh Bear." "Do you remember what we discussed in the car?" "...." ""I want wine, please!"" "Please" "So, how's the press tour going?" "Oh, God, I feel like such a sell-out!" "I actually did "Politically Incorrect" last night!" "Wow!" "Was it fun?" "Oh, hardly." "It was me, Kobe Bryant, that emaciated chick from "The Practice," and some twelve year old rap singer" "I'd never even heard of!" "I read your first book." "I thought it was brilliant." "Thank you!" " I can send you a copy of the new one, if you'd like." " I would." "Thank you." "You know, I read "Charlotte:" "Light and Dark."" "Oh, dear!" "Why?" "In grad school." "I had this idiot professor who insisted qthat it was the perfect profile of a classic borderline personality." "You've heard that before, right?" "I actually went to the library, looked up the symptoms and started behaving like that just to fuck with them!" "Seriously?" "That's brilliant!" "How old were you?" "I must have been 9 or 10." "It was towards the end." "Personally, I think it's a crock of shit." "Did you ever notice how the majority of borderlines are women?" "I see it as just a misogynistic attempt to pathologize women who refuse to toe the patriarchal line!" "Yeah, yeah, I spent 6 months in Seattle on a teaching fellowship." "Ever do any cliimbing up there?" "Oh, yeah, some boulder climbing." "Normal climbing with ropes but..." "Are you a cragger?" "Eh." "Rank amateur urban kind, but I love it." "You done climbing rock?" "Yeah, that's where I learned." "I never knew 30 feet was so high off the ground." "30 feet?" "That's nothing!" "I've got a couple of buddies." "They're real thrillseekers." "I mean, they climb high, but no way I can do that." "Gotta think about more than just myself now." "Bren looks great." "How's she doing?" "Oh, she's doing great." " Man, she is so fucking smart!" " Yes, she is!" "She used to run circles around me, I can tell you that." "Everybody expected such great things from her." "551 00:37:21,864 -- 00:37:23,915 How's her brother?" "He's in the hospital right now." "I just really wanted to get out of my head, so I took 18 months of classes, down at the Shiatsu Institute, thinking I'd do it until I figured out what I really wanted to do." "And here we are 10 years later." " But you love what you do, right?" " I do." "That's the key." "And you know what?" "There is this girl in my health club." "She doesn't do shiatsu, but I swear." "She is gifted." "Gif-ted!" "You know, there's a science to shiatsu." "Chinese medicine dates back over 2000 years." "Hmm..." "This is delicious, Brenda." "You know, I never cook like this." "I can make pasta, but that's about it." "She's got me beat." "I can make toast." "And ice cubes." "Nate does pretty good microwave popcorn." "What do you do, Nate?" "I'm a funeral director." "Really?" "What--what--what makes one to decide to--uh-- become a funeral director?" "Well, I was born into it, actually." "Sort of like being born into the Mafia." "Hey, not so fast there, hotshot!" "It's a tow road!" "Will !" "Will !" "Time out." "Sometimes he becomes completely irrational just to gain attention." "Hell, sometimes I do that." "Oncle K !" "Hey, baby girl!" "Happy birthday!" "I'm 9." "Oh, well, I guess that means I can't call you "Baby Girl" anymore." "You better not!" "This is my friend, David." " Hi, there." " Hi." "So where's the party?" "You want some?" "It's good." "This is for you, sweetheart." "I saw this in the store!" "Yeah, I can't believe they still make these!" " I thought you'd like it." " Thanks, Uncle K." " Where's Mommy?" " In the bedroom, sleeping." " I'm going to go and talk to her for a little bit, alright?" " Okay." "Carla !" "Carla !" "Hi..." "Thought you wasn't comin' till later." "It is later." "What happened to Taylor's birthday party?" "Shit!" "I got home from work and was bone-tired." "I'll take her to the flea market on the weekend, get her something." "That's all you did for her birthday?" "Buy her an Entennmann's cake?" "!" "?" "It's her favorite." "What are you on?" " Don't lie to me!" " I ain't on nothin'!" "Ok?" "What?" "You think I'm suicidal or just plain stupid?" "I think you need to stop living just for yourself, and start thinking about that little girl in there." "I am 7 months clean!" "I work 2 jobs and take care of my kid!" "What?" "I forgot her motherfuckin' birthday!" "Do you want to arrest me for that?" "Look, you can do all the damage you want to yourself." "I can't stop that." "But I'm not gonna let you fuck up her life!" " Take your hands off me." " Carla..." "I will file an assault charge, and you do not want that." "My sister had one of these when she was a kid." "But I broke it." "On purpose?" "No." "I wanted to make a pizza, and I put in a 300 watt bulb, and the whole thing melted!" "That's dumb!" "Yeah, I know, and I was 17." "You don't give a fuck about her!" "I'm talkin' to you!" "You don't know shit!" "Get the fuck out of my house!" "I do!" "I do!" " Do you live in a house?" " Yup." "A big house?" "Not that big." "Got a daddy?" "I used to." " We gotta go, okay?" " Okay." "Alright, listen, uh..." "I'll come back tomorrow as soon as I get off work, and we'll go to the movies, okay?" "Okay." "We gotta go." "Oh, my God!" "What was I thinking?" "Well, I was only 19." "Aw, come on, it wasn't that bad." ""There's this girl at my health club." "She is gif-ted!" "Gif-ted"." "What a dork!" "His ears were filthy." "Did you notice that?" "No." "Now, her I liked." "That kid!" "What a freak!" "tart saving up for therapy now!" "We need some friends." "Some couples we don't hate." "We have each other." "Maybe we should volunteer some place." "No, I'm serious." "Do something good for the world." "Exchange Program." "Habitat for Humanity." "Meels on Wheels." "Just give more, consume less." "Brenda, I'm dying." "What?" "What did you say?" "After the auto accident, I had x-rays, MRIs, and they found something." "They found... it's called AVM, I don't know." "And I think I'm gonna die from it." "I don't know when." "I'm so scared." "Are you listening to me?" "Yeah." "Meels on Wheels." "You really wanna do that?" "I don't know." "I have to do something." "I hate my fucking life." "What's wrong?" "I was watching Trevor and Dawn tonight, thinking..." "they're just so...so complete." "Like they have something that I will never have, ever." "Either I wasn't born with it, or it was beaten out of me, or maybe, maybe I made myself into a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I really am a borderline personality." "Now, wouldn't that be ironic?" "Hey, what's going on with you?" "I don't know." "I spent my childhood performing for clinicians, the rest of my life taking care of my trainwreck of a brother, and I have no idea who I am." "I'm gonna make a cup of tea." "Want one?" "No thanks." "God, I can't wait until our next funeral!" "What do you think, Mom?" "It's very modern." "We figure it'll pay for itself in less than 8 months." "What did we spend on this?" "About 20000 $." "How much is left in the reserve fund I gave you?" "I'll have to check." "I want a full accounting of how you spent that 93000 $." "I'm an investor in Fisher  Sons." "That wall is part of my investment, and I want a return!" "Well, of course, Mom." "I am speaking fiercely from the Eye!" "Do you mind?" "I don't know." "I just need one of you to sign right here, and we'll be done" "Do we need to write you a check right now, or can we just mail it to your office?" "Uh, you might want to open this first." "Came out good, eh?" " It's beautiful." " It's great." ""Enjoy the new casket wall." "It's on me." "Kisses." "Mitzi Dalton Huntley."." "Why would she pay for our wall?" "She didn't pay for it." "Appleby Caskets is owned by Kroehner." "Since when?" "Since three weeks ago." "Enjoy." "She has us selling Kroehner caskets!" "Wow." "She's good." "Well, I guess we can at least help out Rico now." "Yeah, that's a good idea." "Then we go under, and he's out of work, and he can't afford to pay us back." "Which won't matter because we won't exist anymore." "David, we just saved 20000 $." "We didn't save 20000 $ !" "We just didn't spend it!" "Actually, we just lost 1600 $ because we had to give the Langmeads the Haven 4 for 10500, thank you very much!" "Honey, of course I love the house, but, believe me, they are never gonna give us the money." "You love the house, though." "We just have to keep on looking, baby." "No, we don't." "I went to the realtor this morning, and we got the house!" "I wrote a check for the down payment, and now Julio can have his own room!" "What?" "Where did you get the money?" "What do you mean?" "Okay, don't be mad." "You went behind my back and asked your sister for the money?" "Are you crazy?" " Rico, I wasn't about to lose that house." " I provide for this family, NOT HER!" "I've gone 8 to 10 hours a day missing my kids to get us what we need." "I DON'T NEED HER FUCKING HANDOUTS!" "Please, I don't want to hear any machismo bullshit today!" "What did you say to me?" "Baby,... we have a house." "It's our first house." "Can you be happy?" "I'm cancelling that check." "Listen to me." "When the transmission went last month, where'd the money come from?" "When I chipped my tooth and we couldn't afford the dentist, who paid for it?" "Angelica's doing good." "She has extra money." "She's family." "She loves us." "She wants to help us." "So please, put down the phone." "We have a house." "Everything is good." "How's Andy?" "He's gonna be okay." "What was he on?" "Some weird shit." "I don't really know." "Because I heard he smoked a joint dipped in embalming fluid." "I wouldn't know." "That wouldn't be embalming fluid that you stole from my house, right?" "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "Do you have any idea how much trouble this could get us in?" "I mean, first of all, he could've died." "And my brothers could be getting a fucking phone call from the cops right now, and you're gonna bring this on my head?" "Would you stop?" "Look, I gave Andy 5 or 6 to sell, and he fucking smoked them all." "I am sorry that I fucked with you." "But you took me down there, and I saw the stuff, and I just wasn't thinking." "Oh, you were thinking." "You were thinking about yourself!" "Claire, listen to me." "Listen to me." "Look, the cops have a videotape of me and Andy and Dink 766 00:51:57,699 -- 00:51:59,394 robbing a fucking convenience store, and now I'm worried that Andy's gonna turn me in." "Who the fuck are you?" "Fuck!" "Everything I touch turns to shit!" "Everything is shit!" "Everybody was right about you." "You are the only good thing that I have left." "Please don't give up on me." "Please." "No." "Oh, Christ." "You know, you're really starting to piss me off." "What?" "What?" "What?" "What the fuck do you want from me?" "I want you to see me!" "Look at me!" "Look at me!" "That's more like it." "You done with your run already?" "Uh--I didn't need it." "Well, the Langmead viewing is at 6." "You're ready, right, because if you're not..." "Dave, I need to tell you something." "What have you done now?" "I think we should sit down." "What is it?" "Um--Listen, if I've been a dick or something, I'm really sorry." "I found out that I have a condition, called AVM." "It basically means..." "Okay, let's go then." "Are you packed?" "Don't forget the dog, honey." "Don't forget the dog, honey." "How are you feeling?" "He's not in the car, is he?" " Why is he talking about a dog?" "What dog?" " We had a dog in Boulder." " What is this?" " We're in the hospital." "You're sick, remember?" "But you're gonna be just fine." "Rita, lying to him doesn't help anybody but you." "Stop it." " Nurse!" " It's okay to let go." "I'm going to beat it." "But maybe you can't." "You don't have to." "Why would you say that?" "I don't want you to be scared." "I don't want to die." "I'm not gonna die." "That's just your body." "It's not you." "That's bullshit, Eileen." "Excuse me." "Here you go." "We're going to increase your morphine, all right, Mr. Piper?" "Do you see?" "Rita, above his head." "The light." "Oh, yes, he's a good boy." "Better hurry up." "We've got Mrs. Piper at 8:30." "Yeah, I'll be right there." "What are you doing, Dave?" "Downloading pics from mansluts." "Com?" "Great, Dave, thanks." "I thought we should have all the information." " I have all the information." " I don't think you do." "If you don't get this treated... you could have seizures with muscular twitching, loss of verbal skills." "You could even have some kind of hemorrhage at some point." "Or I could be in the wrong airplane at some point, or so could you." "All right?" "Come on." "The Parliament." "It's very elegant." "Yes." "I like it." "But Michael thinks it's tacky." "That's the Cleveland." "It's a more affordable choice." "But, as you can see, it's not quite as gracious." "Really?" "No, but it's just so self-effacing." "But why?" " Mrs. Piper?" " I'm sorry." "Can you excuse me for a moment?" "I can't carry on two conversations at once." "It's exactly like that horrible IKEA couch your mother bought us." "Michael claims to love this one." "In my opinion, he's trying to do what he thinks his mother wants... which is typical, really." "Fine, deny it." "Why change now?" "Would you like to sit down for a minute?" "I'm fine." "It's just Michael's here." "He didn't want to deal with this stuff when he was alive." "You know, the funeral." "Now he's very opinionated." "I'm a psychic, so, you know..." "That must be very interesting for you." "It's just more information." "This room has a lot of pain in it." "Well, yes." "You have a lot in your mind." "On your mind, I mean." "Don't you?" "Yeah, I guess so." "Don't worry." "It's okay, all right?" "It's all gonna be okay." "Thanks." "Okay, honey, if it's what you want." "It's your funeral." "Look, she gave me her card." ""Spiritual Consultation and Past Life Regression"?" "For God's sake, who does this?" "Who spends $100 to be told they were once Eleanor of Aquitaine?" "Or whoever, the Marquis de Sade." "So what do you think happens after we die?" "Heaven?" " Or Hell." " Really?" "But with angels, devils, or brimstone, or whatever?" "I don't know what it looks like, or who's there... but I do believe there are consequences for the way we live our lives." "You know, sometimes I kind of feel like Dad's around." "Do you ever?" "Nope." "You know we have the Independent Funeral Directors' lunch today, right?" "Why do I have to go?" "That's your thing." "It's your thing, too, now." "These are your colleagues." "You need to know them." "I know who they are." "I met them in Vegas." "They're freaks." " They're not freaks." " Nobody likes the Brazil nuts, David." "Not the local guys." "I'm sure the LA morticians are a lot more fun than those from Montana." "You're an LA mortician now, Nate." "This is your community." "It's polite for the first person downstairs to make the coffee." "Even if that person has a penis." "It's also polite for the first person who uses the bathroom... to spend less than 45 minutes in there." "Even if that person has a vulva." " Oh, goodness, everyone's here." " With all their genitalia." " Excuse me?" " Mom, would you like some toast?" "No, thanks." "I have to be in the Valley by 10:30." " What's in the Valley?" " I'm going to a seminar." " What seminar?" " Something Robbie invited me to." "The Plan." "Isn't that a cult?" "No, it's one of those self-actualization things from the '70s... where they yell for 12 hours and don't let you go to the bathroom." "Oh, no." "Really?" "Should I bring some kind of jar?" " A jar?" " I suppose that's not much of a solution." "You're on your own for dinner." "I won't be back until after midnight." "The thought of Mom being self-actualized is kind of making me nauseous." "You sure it's not the thought of Mom pissing into a jar?" "So, Tahira, why can't you forgive your father?" "When I was 16... he had a dream that I had given myself to a man... who was not the husband I had been promised to." "For that, he set me on fire." "I was able to save myself." "But I had to leave the country so he would not kill me." "And always..." "I will have the scars from this." "That's horrible." "Truly horrible." "How could he do this to me?" "But as long as you hold on to that anger toward your father... you will be on fire." "You may have left the country, but you are still living in the same house." "And in that house, there is a room that is still burning." "Who lives in this room?" " I do?" " Your father is still living in this room." "So you never invite anyone in, and you go through life alone." "You must open that door." "Put out the flames." "You must invite your father to come visit you." " But he won't even speak to me." " That is your old blueprint." "That is what you want to believe... because you are too afraid to tear down the walls and rebuild." "Come on." "Stop blaming the victim." "All right, who here thinks I'm being unfair?" "Be honest." "Ruth, do you agree?" "Until Tahira forgives her father... she will never feel safe in her home." " Well, maybe, but..." " Speak up." "We all paid to hear you." "Why don't you stand?" "Her father did such a terrible thing." "I don't see why she has to have him as a houseguest." "If you don't agree with me, why didn't you raise your hand?" "I was just trying to understand your point." "Or do you think that your opinion doesn't matter?" "That perhaps you are just a guest here?" "Are you a guest in your own house, Ruth?" "I don't think so." "Yes, she tiptoes around herself like she's afraid of waking someone up." "The only person sleeping in your house is you." " I do have three children." " See?" "She's not even listening." "Ruth, you have to get out of bed... open the windows, and let some light into your house... so that you can see the way things are." "Then, and only then... can you begin renovating your life." "So, Tahira, are you ready to renovate?" "Yes, I think so." "So, when you call your father, what will you say first?" "Hello?" "Sorry, my beaker exploded." "That's okay." "Catch your breath." "How's it going?" "I have hydrochloric acid in my hair, but other than that, I'm fine." "Really?" "No, but I'm incredibly bored with myself right now." "Let's talk about you." "How's your girlfriend?" "What's her name?" "Jenny." "Fine, thanks." "How's it going with Gabriel?" "I have no idea." "I haven't even talked to him in two weeks." "Is that her?" " What does she do?" " She's a jewelry designer." "Really?" "Does she have a store?" "No, she has clients and she caters." "But we're not here to talk about Jenny." "It might help to tell me what you're going through right now." "It's no big fucking mystery." "I mean, it sucks." "It sucks to be pretty much in love with a guy who's too fucked-up for life." " What happened?" " Nothing really." "Just..." "Whatever." "It's not even his fault." "And it fucking pisses me off." "His whole family thing is so fucking unfair." "And I really just thought he needed..." "I don't know." " You?" " No." "But someone, maybe." "Some person on the planet who gives a fuck about him, for once in his life." "Yeah, I did think that would matter." "It does matter." "No one can ever solve someone else's life." "So, basically, your job is totally pointless?" "No one but a guidance counselor, I mean." "There they are." "That's the community?" "I thought this was an event." "It's an event." " Didn't I meet one of those guys in Vegas?" " Bobo from Peaceful Haven." " Right." "He spits." " Yes, he does." "Stan, Jack, Bobo." "This is my brother, Nate." " Nice to see you, Nate." " Nice to meet you, Jack." "Good seeing you, Bobo." "Congratulations." "We heard you just got your license to operate a moving funeral." "Yep, finally went pro." " Well, sit." " No, go ahead." " No, after you." "Age before beauty." " Right." "David tells us that you are very gifted." "He does?" "We were just giving Stan grief... for poaching our customers with false advertising." "That sounds like something Kroehner would do." "Fucking Kroehner." "Those cocksuckers." "Sorry." "Those cunts." "So this family goes off the 405." "We get five bodies, right?" "In truth, my walk-in only holds three." "So my guy is working overtime to get everyone juiced." "But sometimes you have to leave them out for an hour or two beyond regulation." "It happens, right?" "But those Kroehner fucks... are just waiting for a chance to send in their flacky at the DCA, and boom!" "I get hit with a giant fine and a lawsuit." "I will ram a plastic screw up my anus... before I give in to those fucks." "No offense." " Do we have a waitress?" " Yeah, she'll be back with the fries." "Those fucks." "They are fucks." "They're fucking evil fucks." "They're sucking up all the mom-and-pops." "Businesses that people spent their lives building up..." "They don't care about people and lives." "All right, we appreciate your passion, but..." "No, all they care about is money." "It's not just our industry." "It's everywhere." "When corporations try and squeeze out all the competitors... the further management gets from labor, the more alienation in the workplace..." " the more meaningless all our lives become." " Fuck, yeah!" " It's hopeless, isn't it?" " No, I don't think it is." "We have to stick together and save our energy to fight Kroehner." " You know, Stan?" " Yes." "I love this guy." "Terrific!" "I don't know, Gary." "Twice in one day?" "Claire, this is Detective Reese." "Why don't you sit down, Claire?" "Any idea where Gabriel Dimas is?" " Why would I?" " He's a friend of yours, isn't he?" "Yeah, so I know where he is every second of the day?" "You have noticed that he hasn't been in school for the last two weeks?" "Yeah, but I don't know where he is." "I don't." "Did you know that he held up a convenience store with a gun?" " No." " Did you give or sell him embalming fluid?" "No." "My God." " So how do you think he got it?" " I don't know." "The Internet?" " Don't they have catalogs for that stuff?" " Maybe." "Be a lot easier to get it from you, don't you think?" "No, because I would never do anything like that." "I don't even know where they keep that stuff." "So it's between Ethics of Evolution and Biogenetics, I think." " Biogenetics?" "Really?" " What?" "Yawn, kind of, right?" "Biogenetics might sound dull to you, but it's actually very smutty." "It's all about sperm competition and cryptic ovulation." "Oh, yeah?" "What else you taking?" " I'm only doing one class." " I thought you were going back to school." "I said I was gonna take a class." "I still have to work, you know." "Fuck, if it's only one class, why not pick something interesting?" "How about this religious studies class?" ""Cross-Cultural Perspectives on the Afterlife."" "Yawn." " It's not boring." "It's spiritual." " Double yawn." "Why don't you sign up for that and we can meet in the quad for lunch?" "That would be so fun." "We could make out in the stacks... sneak into the pool at night and go skinny-dipping on acid." "Sounds like you did a lot of work at college." "I was only in school for two years, but I learned a few things." "About breaking into school property while tripping?" "That'll help you in life." "What?" "Come on, Bren." " I was just in the middle of something." " Look, it's been a while." "It's not that long." "It's been three-and-a-half weeks, and on Tuesday it'll be four weeks." "Not that you're counting." "Yeah, I'm counting." "I mean, have you not even noticed?" "It's normal, after a certain point, for sex to slow down." "Yeah, slow down, okay." "But stop?" "People can go months after a certain point." "After a certain point, okay." "Like, six years, maybe." "But six months?" " Seven." " Not that you're counting." "You've never been with anybody long enough to know this... but there is a certain ebb and flow that happens." " Not for everybody." " It does." "There will be times when you are not attracted to me at all." "It's just a normal ebb." "How long does a normal ebb last?" "I don't know, but that's the kind of question that prolongs the standard ebb." "Did you hear about the guy at the nuthouse that walked around naked... except for a hat and gloves?" "And this nurse came up to him and said." ""What do you want?" "You can't walk around..."" "Mom?" "And the guy says, "It's okay." "Nobody comes around here, anyway. "" "And the nurse says, "Well, what do you have on the hat and gloves for?"" " It's so late." "I was kind of worried." " It goes until midnight." "Was it fun?" "It was horrible." " So you're not going back?" " No, I'm going back." " Why?" " I don't know." "I don't want to be rude." "They don't care about that." "They already got your money." "Well, there's that, too." " Don't you get bored around here?" " Well, sometimes." "Do you want some tea or something?" "All right, what did you break?" "Nothing." "I was just being nice." "God!" "I'm sorry." "I was imposing my old blueprint on you." "Excuse me?" "In the old blueprint of my old house... you're only nice to me when you've done something bad... or when you want something." " That makes me feel like shit." " I'm sorry." "But it really does seem that way to me." "I should go do my homework." "They give you homework?" "I have to write a letter to my dead mother... and forgive her for all the terrible things she did to me." "That sounds fun." "And then I have to write a private letter to myself... outlining how I want to renovate my life." "Good night, dear." "Good night." "The shovel's in the truck!" " That's good." " Rico, you forget something there?" "Shit." "Sorry, man." "I got about two hours of sleep last night." " Augusto?" " No, Angie, Vanessa's sister." "She walks out on her boyfriend... and comes over to wail in our living room all night long." " Women." " Yeah, I'm telling you, man." "And she shows up with this suitcase, like she's got some right now that..." "She has fancy Hollywood friends who flash their money around all the time." "I'm like, "What, you can't go somewhere there's a guest room?"" "Rico, I'm really sorry about that loan." "It's just a really tight budget." "That's okay." "We got the house." "Something else came through." " That's great." " Yep, the escrow closes next month." "That is super, man." "You and Vanessa have been together, what... five years now?" "Married five, together eight." "Man, can you believe that shit?" "Okay, so this is sort of a personal question." "You don't have to answer... but do you guys still, you know... pretty much have sex?" "We've got two kids now, so it slows down a bit." "Right." "How slow?" "Right after the baby, Vanessa's got all the wrong hormones and stuff." "So now, maybe three or four times a week." " That's too bad, man." " Yeah, that sucks." "It's not like the first two years." " Yeah, you better enjoy it while you got it." " No kidding, right?" "This moron always goes over." "I should go in and correct his selfish ass." "Let them finish their game." "We go over sometimes." " So how's Eddie?" " He's good." "Things are good, I guess." "Keith, what's going on?" "I think my sister's fucking using that shit again." "My mom's come up from San Diego to watch over her, like that's gonna fix anything." "According to her, everything is just fine now." "I'm the one that's overreacting." "I don't think you're overreacting." "Thanks." " Eddie hates racquetball." " Really?" "Why?" "Poor depth perception." "Can't play pool, either." "That's too bad." "Let's not beat around the bush, shall we?" "Biology has a long history of being abused as an ideological instrument... to justify social inequities and amoral behavior." "For those of you who have not yet read my book... the central argument I posit... in Genes Out of the Bottle." "Evolution in Biotechnology... is that genetic engineering is, in and of itself... the most effective argument against biological determinism." "Why?" "The thesis that you present so brilliantly... is that though biology manifests in behavior... as we can see in the instinct of human males to seek a variety of sexual partners... the fact that we have the technology to modify genetics... confirms the supremacy of culture over biology." "Excellent." "Other thoughts?" "I have a question." "Isn't natural selection still operating though, since members of the species... who have access to genetic technologies are more likely to survive and procreate?" "That kind of reasoning leads us into a very questionable ethical terrain." " Other comments?" " What kind of reasoning?" "Scientific?" "You can call it scientific, but as I discussed at great length in Chapter 2... your argument is a political assertion that privilege is biologically determined." "I haven't actually read your book... but you can't tell me that survival isn't easier for people... who are born with a private chef and health insurance." "Maybe you should read the book before commenting on its thesis." "Other comments?" " Yes?" " Excuse me, I'm sorry." "Are we not allowed to disagree with you?" "I'm just asking because I'm new in the class." "We certainly don't interrupt our classmates." "Go ahead." "In your discussion of bisexual genital rubbing among pygmy chimps... you note the exchange of sex for meat." "I was wondering how this might pertain to contemporary human behavior." "Any theories?" "So, where do you think he is now?" "According to his wife, he's still here." "There's a big chunk of dead meat in a cheapo box that's still here." "But do you really believe that's him?" "The essence of who he was?" "The part of him that hoped and dreamed, and all that other crap?" "You tell me." "You're the one who has all the answers now." "I never said that." "You'd think getting hammered by a bus would make you a little less of a dick." "Sure, it's possible that we go on after we die." "It's also possible that, once the light goes out, it stays out." "You'll never know, buddy boy, till it's your turn." "See, that's what you were hanging onto." "Excuse me?" " Michael." " Is he here?" "He's been with me the whole time." " You think he'll stay with you?" " Not like this." "He's just helping me get used to it." "I hope you don't mind, but do you get a sense of my father at all around here?" "No." "I'm sorry." "That doesn't mean he's not here." "This room is packed." "I can't get to everyone." "I think everything is ready." " I do see a child coming into your life." " No." " Well, it might be you." " I seriously doubt that." "I'm not sure which one of you I'm reading... but I'm quite sure there's gonna be a child here very soon." "I'm heading out now, okay?" "This is Federico Diaz, our embalmer, and his baby, Augusto." "This is Mrs. Piper." " I'm sorry for your loss." " Thank you." " You made his body look very nice." " Thank you." "Actually, his body gave me a lot to work with." "Hardly any decay for a cancer death..." " Okay, Rico, see you tomorrow." " Okay." "Nice to meet you, ma'am." "Here we go." "Eileen asked that I close with a reading from Michael's favorite poet, Walt Whitman." ""What do you think has become of the young and old men?" ""And what do you think has become of the women and children?" ""They are alive and well somewhere" ""The smallest sprout shows there is really no death" ""And if ever there was, it led forward life" ""and does not wait at the end to arrest it" ""And ceas'd the moment life appear'd" ""All goes onward and outward nothing collapses" ""And to die is different from what any one supposed" ""and luckier"" "Let us pray." "O Lord, bless the departed soul of our brother, friend, and son, Michael..." "I'm just hanging around to help you get used to it." "I am used to it, Dad." "It's been six months." "Seven." "Not that you're counting." "God is strength." "In him, I will trust." "Amen." " Are you done?" " Pretty much." "What's up?" " I wanted to ask you something." " Okay." "Get this." "Bobo sold to Kroehner." " Bobo sold?" "My Bobo?" " Your Bobo." "I can't believe this." "He was so committed." "Think he's got a plastic screw in his anus about now?" " I hope so." " That old son of a bitch." "I'm gonna call him." " What's the matter with you?" " Nothing." " Where's Karla?" " She's just working late." " Why are you fronting?" " Go to your room now, Taylor." "Mama hasn't been home since Tuesday." " What?" " Now." " But my stomach hurts." " I'll get you some Pepto-Bismol." " I don't want none of that nasty shit." " Then go on." "Shit, bitch, I gotta get my goods." "Don't talk to your grandmother like that." "Is she sick?" "She says that every night." "She just wants the attention." "Can you blame her?" "Her mother's off, doing God knows whatever." "Karla's fine." "She just had to go out of town." " You talked to her?" " I wasn't in when she called." "But she left several messages." "Besides, I'm here with Taylor." "Don't blow this out of proportion like you always do." "Hey, Mama, I'm not coming home tonight." "Derek needs some papers, and I gotta go..." " Can't she send him his papers?" " You remember how Derek was." "Always getting her to do this and that for him." "Yeah, like raise his kid without a dime from him." "Sorry, I dropped the phone." "Shut up!" "Anyway, I'll call you as soon as I can, okay?" "Give Taylor kisses for me." "To get the phone company records, we'll have to file a missing persons report." "Keith, why must you always think the worst of her?" "Let's just wait till she gets home." " We don't even know..." " What are you gonna do?" "Move up here and take care of her all your life?" "She has a child!" "Jesus, she needs help." " You covering up for her is not what I mean." " Who do you think you're talking to?" "I am your mother... and you will respect that or I will smack the black right off of you." "Hi, there." "Hi." "Hard day?" "How can you tell?" "I'm good at people." " Are you?" " Gotta be." "Tax law." "I'm Scott." "Scott Axelrod." "Candace Bouvard." "Nice to meet you, Candace." "Are you an actress?" "No." " I teach sign language to the newly deaf." " Really?" " How noble." " No, it's very lucrative." "And I really enjoy communicating with my body." "I get that." "You know what?" "My friend is here, but it's been great getting to know you." "I would love to take you to dinner sometime." "Can I give you my card?" "You sure can." "How was school?" "All right, you have 20 minutes to do what's most important in your life now." "What did you write to yourself in your private letter?" "Where are you locked out of your own life?" "If you learn today that your relationship with your mother... has been blocking the door to your happiness, then make that repair." "Right now." "Waiting only gives you more chances to make excuses." "There are phones in the hall." "See you in 19 minutes." "Where can I find a Snickers bar?" "Can't you think of more productive ways to use this time?" "Like what?" "Taking up smoking?" "Why not try rebuilding with someone right now?" "I read your private letter to yourself." "If you really want closeness in your life... you're gonna have to start major renovations." " In fact, I would gut." " You read my private letter?" " Why don't you try calling your kids?" " I don't even know where my kids are." "The last thing they want is for me to call on a Friday night... so I can put in new flooring." "I've wanted to hear that my whole life, Dad." "Oh, fuck!" "I love you, too, you sadistic old fuck." "Start with Claire." "Only you can be the architect of your life." "I was 12 years old." "This is your mother." "Yes, well, I just wanted to tell you that..." "I feel like even though I've been trying to be closer to you... it hasn't really been working." "I wish you felt you could confide in me... and maybe you don't because you feel my opinion is worthless." "Because I don't really live in my house... and so I suppose that's the infrastructure I built." "And so I'm sorry." " And?" " And I love you." "That's so good." "I gotta pee like a racehorse." "You have exceeded the time limit." "If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press 1 now." "Hello?" " Claire?" " Where the fuck have you been?" " I'm fucked up." " Gabe, what is going on?" "Everything is all fucked up, Claire!" "Look, it's gonna be okay." "You just have to calm down right now." "Look, I need you to come and get me." "Please." "You know the cops are seriously looking for you?" "I know that, okay?" "Why do you think I need you to come out here and get me?" "Where are you?" "I'm up past Woodland Hills." "Academia is one huge circle jerk." "All the sequestered people desperately defending... the one good idea they have ever had in their lives." "So, what, that's it for going back to school?" "Yep." "Next?" " How was your day?" " It was weird." "Buried that psychic woman's husband, and she was still talking to the guy." " That's sad." " Not for her." "I mean, she really believed he was there, you know?" "Well, she has to say that, right?" "If she claims she's a psychic." "You don't think that that's possible?" "What about you saying that things happen that leave marks..." " in people, in places, in time?" " That's physics." "Energy affecting matter." "Talking to dead people is delusional." "So you definitely don't believe in any kind of a life after death?" "I think people live on through the people they love... and the things they do with their lives." "If they manage to do things with their lives." "But that's it?" "That's all there is?" "There's nothing more?" "There's nothing bigger?" "Just energy." " But there's no plan?" " No, there's definitely no plan." "Just survival." " Should I have ordered the salmon?" " I don't know." "How can you live like that?" "What if you found out you were gonna die tomorrow?" "I've been prepared to die tomorrow since I was 6 years old." "Really?" " Pretty much." "We never got butter." " Why since you were six?" "Because I read a report on the effect nuclear war would have on the world... and it was pretty clear to me at that point that this was definitely gonna happen." "When you were six?" "And I wake up every day pretty much surprised... that everything is still here." "I don't understand how you can live like that." "Well, I thought we all did." " Who was that?" " I went to high school with him." "He's clearly had a nose job." "Close your eyes." "Go on." "And imagine that everyone in this room thinks you're an idiot." "Total fool." "Complete moron." "Absolute ass." "Feel familiar?" "It's how you feel in the world, isn't it?" "I want you to feel it deeply now." "Really feel that everyone in this room thinks you're an idiot." "Close your eyes, Ruth." "Feel you're an idiot." "Now tell me when you get the joke." " Do you get the joke, Ruth?" " No." "I'm an idiot." "Who wants to explain the joke to Ruth?" "So we all feel the same way, right?" "So who's really the asshole?" " We all are?" " Ruth, stand up." "Tell me what you wrote in your private letter to yourself." "It was a private letter." "To myself." "Tell me where your house needs repairs." "Yeah, and don't bullshit the lady, cupcake." "I have a very nice house." "I have nice children, and a nice job, and a nice gentleman friend." "Can't anyone just be happy?" "I'm happy." "Who's buying Ruth's house?" "We don't believe your house is structurally sound, Ruth." "Who knows better:" "Me or a room full of complainers?" "What do you really want to complain about, really?" "The fact that the blood stopped circulating to my rear end four hours ago." "Okay, what else?" "You want me to complain?" "All right, then." "Fuck this." "Fuck you." "Fuck all of you, with your sniveling self-pity." "And fuck all your lousy parents." "Fuck my lousy parents, while we're at it." "Fuck my selfish bohemian sister and her fucking bliss." "Fuck my legless grandmother." "Fuck my dead husband... and my lousy children with their nasty little secrets!" "And fuck you, Robbie, for dragging me to this terrible place... and not letting me have a Snickers bar!" "I'm going to get something to eat!" "Congratulations, Ruth." "You have just leveled your fleabag hovel." "Now you can build the house of your dreams from the ground up." "Yes!" "Fucking yes!" "Excellent." "Congratulations." "Jesus." "Okay, let's hop." " Hi?" " We should just get going." "Okay." "But you could tell me where the fuck you've been..." "Yeah, like you care." "What?" "Why did I just drive my ass way the fuck out to nowhere?" "Can we just talk about this while we're driving, okay?" "Jesus, it's hot as hell in this car." "Can you tell me where we're going?" "Let's just head out to Angela's Crest or something." "Angela's Crest?" "That's where serial killers go to dump bodies." "You think you can think up someplace a little creepier?" "I don't care where we go." "I just want to go somewhere where we can be alone for a minute... and we can just talk, you know?" "Whatever." " Are you fucked-up right now?" " What the fuck do you expect, Claire?" "I'm freaked out." "Everything's really fucked-up for me right now." " So what are you gonna do?" " I don't know." " I'm trying to it figure out." " What's to figure out?" "Claire, just chill out, okay?" "Jesus." "Look, they know you gave Andy the fry, or whatever the fuck it's called." "They know you robbed that store, Gabe." "You have to turn yourself in." "That is a genius fucking plan." "Hey, baby, you like to drink blood?" " That's incredibly original." " Shut the fuck up, scumbag!" "Look, you got a corpse in the front seat." " I said, shut the fuck up!" " Oh, God!" "Go." "Is he all right?" "It's okay." "Just keep driving." "What are you doing?" " We have to go back." " Are you insane?" "We have to go back and make sure that guy is okay." " I didn't hit him, all right?" " How do you know?" "Are you sure?" "I saw." "He's fine, all right?" "Then let's just go back and make sure that he is all right." "I cannot go back there!" " God, I am fucked!" " You know this is just making it worse." "Listen to me." "I need you to just help me right now, okay?" "Please." "I can't help you!" "I can't help you anymore!" "I can't." "Let's just keep going, okay?" "Let's just keep going, I'll figure out what to do." "I will figure it out." "Come on, please." "I'm going back." " Claire, don't do that." " Get off me." "Claire, give me that." "Okay, you have to get out now." " Don't do this to me." " Get out!" " Get out." " Okay." "I'm just gonna get my bag, all right?" "Thanks." "Oh, my God." "So, where do you think I am?" "Heaven or Hell?" "Apparently, you're here at the moment." "You think I'm in Hell." "Yeah, sure, I went to church." "That was just for business." "I didn't really believe in God." "I mean, not as anyone who you had to please or impress to get promoted." "The only God I know is a mean-spirited comedian in ugly pants... whose every joke has the same damn punch line." "And I'm thinking, that kind of attitude lands me straight in Hell." "On the bright side, that means... you'll have a familiar face waiting for you." "Look it up." "Leviticus 20:13." "I don't believe that anymore." "And I don't think you're in Hell." "But you can't quite see me hanging around with Gandhi and Mother Teresa up there." "I miss you, Dad." "I thought you were at Brenda's." "She had a late client, so I thought I'd, you know..." " help clean up." " Thanks." "At this hour?" "That is a late client." "Some of them like her to put them to bed, you know?" "That's very sad." " How long did you go out with that cop?" " About six months." " Sex ever slow down?" " I was hoping you weren't gonna go there." "I'm sorry." "Forget it." " David, I need some help." " What happened?" ""Fuck my legless grandmother." ""And fuck you, Robbie, for not letting me have the Snickers bar."" "Oh, my goodness, the language." "I was so rude." "It was fantastic." "Quel breakthrough." "Robbie, I don't even know how to thank you." "Don't thank me." "Just change." "So, what are you gonna do tomorrow to start the renovations?" "That's none of your fucking business." "Any idea where he'd go?" "What was he wearing?" "You know, it's gonna be much easier on him... if we can bring him in before something else happens." " But he doesn't even have the gun." " You think he can't get another gun?" "He was wearing jeans and a green T-shirt, I think." "You're doing the right thing." "You know that, right?" " I feel like shit." " You'll feel worse if someone else gets hurt." "Oh, my God." "When that cop asked me if I knew about the 7" " Eleven thing, I said I didn't." "But I did." " Is that really bad?" " It's not great." "But you're telling the truth now, right?" "So don't worry about that." "They wouldn't make me testify against him or something, right?" "That's not up to me." "But, anyway, that's a long ways off." "Okay, 'cause I don't wanna do anything like that." " Why are you still protecting this loser?" " Because she loves him." "And we understand that, Claire." "I really wish you'd told us about this sooner." "How long did you know about the embalming fluid?" "Not that long." "And I tried to tell Nate." "When the fuck did you try and tell me about this?" "She's telling you now, all right?" "Okay, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "When you're ready, we're gonna get in the car and drive down to the station." "A couple of detectives there are gonna ask you pretty much the same questions." " Will you be there?" " Yes, I'll be there." "Pike Place Market was born in 1907... from citizen outrage at the high cost of produce... when Seattle City Councilman Thomas Revelle... proposed a public street market." "On opening day, August 7, 1907... eight farmers brought their wagons to the corner of 1st and Pike... and were overwhelmed by an estimated 10,000 eager shoppers." "By 11.00 a.m. They were completely sold out." "That concludes the morning half of our tour." "Once again, my name's Karen." "You've been a superduper group this morning." "We'll see you back here on the bus at 1.30." "Thank you, Karen." "I don't know about you, but I could sure use a fucking cigarette." "Come on, dear." "Bye." "Excuse me, sir?" "Sir, it's lunchtime." "You can get off the bus now." "We're at Pike Place Market." "Shit!" "We've got another dead one back here, Larry." "You missed your last three sessions." "Sometimes coming in here talking about my life gets in the way of me having one." "So why did you bother coming in today?" "Because they sent a letter to my mother and threatened to suspend me if I didn't." "I thought you had something you wanted to talk about." "With you?" "Yeah, right." "Are you angry with me?" "How can you tell?" "I was obligated to cooperate with the police, Claire." "It's my job." "Just so you know, I was here for you, not for them." "They wanted to interrogate you alone." "And they haven't found him yet, in case you're curious." "I'm not." "You haven't heard from him?" "Fuck, no." "Not that I'd tell you if I had." "You did the right thing when you called the police that night." "I know I did the right thing." "This isn't about whether or not I did the right thing." "Given the circumstances, it's fully understandable... that you're feeling this angry, Claire." "If you don't stop saying my name at the end of every sentence, I am gonna..." " What?" " I don't know." "Just don't, okay?" "You feel like throwing something?" "Excuse me?" "You could, you know." "Just pick something up off my desk and chuck it." "I'm so sure you'd let me trash something off your desk." "If you thought it might help, I would." "No, thanks." "You're angry with Gabe... and you're scared because you don't know what's gonna happen to him." "At this point, I don't give a flying fuck about him." "You don't really feel that way, do you?" "No." "I do feel better." "Thank you." "He was on one of those package bus tours." "He'd been going on a lot." "Three or four times a year, ever since Mom died." "Sometimes he went with his friend Pete." "This time he went alone." "They think his heart just gave out." "I'm very sorry." " Where is your father now?" " He's still up there in Seattle." "The Columbia Funeral Home's holding him for us." "They're on Rainier Avenue." "Not a problem." "We can make arrangements to have him flown back to LA." " Flown back?" " Yes." "Dad won't fly." "It was always a sore spot with Mom." "She wanted to travel, but Dad flat out refused." "Then, after she died, he started taking all these package bus tours." "He has..." " He had a thing about flying." " He never flew." " I'm sure, given the circumstances..." " No, it isn't what he would have wanted." "Isn't there some other way?" "We can make arrangements to have him shipped via rail or freight." "Like FedEx?" " You can do that?" " It's done all the time." "They brought Abraham Lincoln home to Illinois by train... all the way from Washington, packed in ice." "It shouldn't be a problem." "Keith, I'll be back up here just as soon as your father's back on his feet." "What if Grandpa dies?" "My friend Neisha's brother had an operation, and he died." "I told you, Taylor, it's just a hernia." "It's nothing for you to worry about." "I'd sure like to know where the hell Karla is." "Is she still up in Oakland with Derek?" "Did she even offer to come back down here... and take care of her kid when you told her you were leaving?" "We haven't heard from her." "Jesus." "I thought you had a number for her." " It's been disconnected." " Shit." "I told you, Keith, hush that kind of mouth around your niece." "Maybe I should just take the child with me." "She'll be fine, all right?" "My new place has an extra room, and between Eddie and me..." " we'll make sure she's..." " I don't wanna come stay with you." " How come you can't stay here?" " Because my things are at my place." " What about my stuff?" " You can bring it with you." "You'd probably steal it." "There's my cab." "Taylor, come on, honey." "Give your grandma a hug." "I love you, Grandma." "Now, you be good, and you mind your Uncle Keith." "I'll try to come back as fast as I can." "I know a lot worser words than "shit," you know." "So do I." "So, how'd the Mossback intake go?" "We need to find a way to get a body shipped back from your old stomping ground." "Why can't you just fly it back?" "That's what your father always did." "Apparently the deceased was afraid of flying." "I don't think he's gonna give a shit now." "The family doesn't want him to fly, all right?" "The freight companies are backed up until next week." "And Amtrak can't bring him back until next Tuesday." "No problem." "I'll fly up, rent a refrigerated van, and drive him back." "You don't need a refrigerated van, just a one-way rental." " He's already been embalmed." " Even easier." "You'd do that?" "You'd fly up there and turn around and drive all the way back?" "I haven't been back since Christmas." "I can see a few friends." "I still have stuff up there." "I'd love to." "I suppose we could mark up the cost of shipping to cover your travel." " When do you want me to leave?" " Tomorrow?" "Done." "Have you met any nice men recently, David?" "No one to speak of." "I wish you'd put yourself out more." "The door to your house only opens from the inside, you know." "We haven't seen your friend Gabriel around much lately, Claire." "So?" "Have you not been seeing as much of him?" " No, I haven't." " Did you two have a falling-out?" "Yeah, Gabe joined the Hare Krishna, okay?" "Those people with the orange robes and tambourines?" "That try to sell you books in the airport." "Yeah, that's them." "Oh, my goodness!" " He never struck me as a religious person." " He is now, big-time." " Did he shave his head?" " Yeah, he shaved his head." "Can we talk about something else, please?" "Claire, do you want to come to Seattle with me?" "You're asking me to come to Seattle with you?" "Yeah, why not?" "I'm not sure we can stick the Mossbacks with two plane tickets." " I'll pay for it." " You will?" "Yeah." "I could use the company." " You could help me drive on the way back." " She'll miss school." "We're not doing anything I can't miss, and I can bring my homework." "It's just for a couple of days." "Fine." "I'm tired of trying to be the architect for this family." "It's high time you drew your own blueprints." "Does anyone know what the fuck she's talking about anymore?" " Nate." " What?" "By the way, I'm flying up to Seattle tomorrow." " You are?" " Yeah." "I'm picking up a body and driving it back for David." " I'm gonna take Claire with me." " Sounds like fun." "You don't mind that I didn't ask you?" " Ask me what?" " To go with me." " No, not at all." " Good." "You sure?" "Nate, I'm trying to read... and you know I hate it when you floss in front of me." "Sorry." "Is it weird I didn't ask you to come to Seattle with me?" "No, why would it be?" "I don't know." "It just feels a little weird." "Okay, now it is a little weird." "But only because you're making it a little weird." " But you're not mad about it?" " Not at all." "I think it's really good for you, spending some time with your sister." "That's what I think." " You sure it's not too weird?" " God, Nate, give it a rest." " Good night, Bren." " Good night." "Cool!" "Sleater-Kinney's playing at this place called Showbox tonight." "I hate to break it to you, but Showbox is 18 and over." "What makes you think I don't have a fake I.D.?" "You have a fake I.D.?" "You're not gonna pull some pseudo-parental bullshit on me, are you?" "No." "I had a fake I.D. Once, too." "Maybe I'll go with you." " I don't need a babysitter, Nate." " I love Sleater-Kinney." "You love Sleater-Kinney?" "Will you try to get over yourself for a second and let me be your friend and your brother?" "Did you bring me on this trip because you thought I needed a little distraction?" "I invited you because I thought it'd be fun to bring you along." "Now I'm having second thoughts." "I believe you." " So where are we staying, anyway?" " My friend Lisa's." " Is she an old girlfriend?" " No." "No way, not even close." "We were strictly roommates, nothing more." "Worked at the co-op together." "Is she all crunchy-granola... backpacky, and way into grunge?" "Crunchy-granola:" "Maybe a little." "Backpacky:" "Definitely." "Into grunge:" "No way." "Grunge died long before Kurt Cobain did." "Besides, Lisa is..." "It's not too easy to categorize." "You guys did it a few times, though, right?" " We're not having this discussion." " Fine." "This is it." "Sweet." " It's so good to have you back home." " It's good to be back." "Lisa, this is my sister, Claire." "Come in." "Hello, Hiram?" "It's me, Ruth." "I'm fine." "How are you?" "Listen, the reason why I'm calling is..." "I just wanted to let you know that I've been drafting a new blueprint for myself." "No, not for the house." "Yes, it is for the house." "My house." "I mean, not the actual physical structure I live in with my family." "I'm speaking more of the emotional structure... in which I've chosen to live my life." "I most certainly have not been drinking." "I'm just trying to let you know, Hiram... that I harbor no hard feelings against you." "No, I do not want to get back together." "How presumptuous!" "You know something, Hiram?" "Fuck off!" "Amelia?" "It's Ruth." "I know we haven't seen each other in a while... and I feel a little funny leaving this on your machine... but I just wanted to let you know..." "I've been drafting a new blueprint for myself." "And if you're ever looking for an opportunity to renew our friendship... my front door is open to you." "That's all I wanted to say." "You can call me back if you want to, okay?" "Bye!" "Sarah, are you there?" "If you're there, pick up." "Okay, fine." "I know we don't talk to each other very much anymore... but I left you three messages in two weeks and you haven't returned any of my calls." "I think you don't ever want to talk to me again, and if that's the case... we really need to talk!" "There are things I'd like to say to you about the cracks in my foundation... and your part in helping me repair them." "This is your sister, Ruth." "What do you mean, you can't?" "Eddie, I need you to pick up Taylor from school." "Look, I realize you're in the middle of a shift." "Can't you get somebody to cover for you?" "I'm caught between a rock and a fucking hard place here." "I need you to do this for me." "All right, never mind." "Fuck it, then." "This is a bullshit detail." "I wish the guy would just shoot her and get it over with." "I've got tickets for the Dodgers tonight." "What did I say?" "Listen, I've got a huge favor to ask." "What is it?" "I'm stuck in Koreatown." "Some guy's holding his mother-in-law hostage." "He claims she put his TV remote down a garbage disposal." "I don't know when I'll be out of here." "Eddie's pulling a double shift." "I hate to ask... but is there any way that you can pick up Taylor... from Bridgebrook Elementary at 3:00?" "Yes." "I mean, sure." "I'd be glad to." " You sure?" " Yes, of course." "All right, thanks." "I'll call ahead to the school so they'll be expecting you." " I'll pick Taylor up from your place later." " Great." "Thanks, man." "I owe you one." "No problem." " What is this?" " Tofu meatloaf." "It's completely vegan." "No dairy, no eggs." "No animal products of any kind." " No meat?" " None whatsoever." "Why do you call it "meatloaf"?" "You're a pisser just like your brother, aren't you?" " Anyway, it used to be his favorite." " It's delicious, Lisa." "I didn't put in too much garlic?" " Not for me." " No way." "Garlic is a miracle herb." "It lowers cholesterol and blood pressure." "It stimulates the immune system... and inhibits the growth of parasites in the intestines." "So, how's life at the co-op?" "Our membership is up 15% since you left... in spite of the corporate outfits breathing down our necks." " Wow, sounds like things are going great." " We miss you." "You should stop in and say hello while you're here." " So, how's life back in LA?" " It's okay." "What can I say?" "I may have finally found something I'm good at." " I always knew you had a spiritual calling." " Yeah, right." "What?" "Being a funeral director is proof of a spiritual calling?" "It's not exactly what I imagined for Nate, but it doesn't surprise me." "Nothing ever surprises you, Lisa." "That's true." "So, last time I spoke to you, back in January..." "I suppose, you had met somebody?" " Brenda." " Yeah." "Anything ever happen with that?" "We're still together." "Wow!" "Eight months." "That's gotta be an all-time record for you, Nate." "It might be." "Sounds like a real relationship to me." "What can I say?" "It is what it is." "I mean, for me, for where I am at right now, it's a good thing." " It's all good." " It is." "It's all... well, mostly, you know, good." "I'm really happy for you, Nate." "You know, I got offered a job in LA." " Really?" " Yeah." "Some big-time producer came through town shooting a movie." "She's looking for a vegan chef, and she offered me a job." "Really, what movie?" "I'm not good with titles." "I don't go to the movies." "Film is processed with gelatin." "Gelatin comes from horses' hooves." " I didn't know that." " Most people don't." "Hence the global slavery of animals." " Were you thinking about taking the job?" " I don't know." "I mean, LA is such a godless place." "Besides, my life is really full here." " May I use your bathroom?" " Yeah." "It's down the hall, first door on the left." " She's a lot like you." " You think?" "God, I've missed you, Nate." "I've missed you, too." "Give me a break." "I think you totally cleared out my sinuses." "Not too hard?" "Some of my clients find me a little intense." "Not at all." "I love it." "It feels great." "I have to say you're pretty loose." "Not a lot of tension in the usual places." "I'm curious." "Melissa, what do you do?" "I'm just asking because I'm thinking about changing professions... and I'm curious." "I'm a prostitute." "No shit?" "No shit." "Cool." "I'm making a cup of tea." "Want one?" "I'd love to, but I've gotta get to work." " Same time next week?" " Absolutely." " I'll see you." " See you." " Hello?" " Bren." "Hi, honey." "It's Mom." "I'm at Tranquility Spa." "I need you to meet me over here." " Why?" " Sweetheart, it's an emergency." " I need you over here, please." " What's happened?" "I'm at Tranquility Spa, Brenda, in La Cañada." "I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important." "Brenda!" "Don't go in there." "Mother, let go of my fucking arm." "You're hurting me!" "This is your father's car." "So Dad's here." "Who cares?" "He's not here." "He's at work." "I checked." "Look on the dash." "Your father doesn't smoke Virginia Slims." "Look on the gear shift." "A scrunchie." "Big fucking deal!" "Your father hasn't had enough hair to need a scrunchie since 1975!" " So you think Dad's fucking somebody." " Bingo!" "Oh, my God, is that all this is?" "I thought you'd heard from the hospital that something happened to Billy." "Don't be so dramatic, Brenda." "I have to go downstairs and work for a little while." "Do you have everything you need?" "Can I have some chocolate milk?" "I'm sorry." "We don't have any chocolate milk." "I want some goddamn chocolate milk." "I'm sorry, but we only have white milk." "Ain't you got any other cookies besides these?" "Those are all we have." "I don't like these kind." "These kind taste like shit." "Then just color in your coloring books, and I'll check in on you in a bit." "I don't like coloring books." " You picked them out at the drugstore." " You told me I had to." " I thought you liked coloring books." " I don't." "I told you I like to draw." "Then draw." "These are coloring books." "You can't draw in coloring books... because they already have the drawings in them." "You can only color in coloring books." "That's why they're called coloring books." " You wanna watch TV?" " Okay." " You know how to use that?" " What do you think, I'm stupid?" " I didn't say you're stupid." " I know how to use a remote." "Fine, knock yourself out." "Dumb-ass cracker." "Man, I am starving for a cheeseburger." "I want something that walked the earth, with the works." "Man, I'm having a double." "I thought you liked the meatless meatloaf." " I lied." " No shit." "And what's with the "it is what it is"... purposely vague bullshit about you and Brenda?" "I don't want to hurt Lisa's feelings, okay?" "You definitely slept with her." "Okay, yes." "We had occasional sex together, but it was strictly on a friendship basis." "You were fuck-buddies?" "Yeah." " And nothing more." " Does Lisa know that?" "You know what?" "Every time we did have sex, and I'm talking about five, six times, tops..." "I was very honest with her about what it meant and what it didn't mean." " She's got it bad for you." " I was always honest with Lisa." " Lf you say so." " What do you want?" "I want a Chubby Cheese with everything, medium skinny fries, and a Coke." "My God, do you smell that?" "What, burgers and fries?" "No, it's like rotten eggs!" "Jesus!" "Oh, man, déjà fucking vu." "Welcome to Chubby's." "May I take your order?" "Yeah, I'll have a double Chubby..." "I'll have a double Chubby cheeseburger." "Fuck me!" " Was that one or two cheeseburgers?" " Jesus, my head!" "Fuck!" "Nate, are you okay?" "Sir, I didn't get that." "Can I take your order, please?" "Hello, sir?" "You drive." "I'm gonna get some air and make a phone call." "Okay." " I didn't get that." "Please repeat your order." " Shut up." "Yeah, is Dr. DiPaolo in?" "Yeah, it's definitely an emergency." " Can I take your order, please?" " Shut the fuck up!" "I'm going to have to contact the manager." "I can't believe I'm doing this." "Can't we at least go inside?" "I could get a seaweed wrap while I pretend to listen to you." "That couldn't be her." "I'm eating your protein bar." "Maybe it is." "This is like eating upholstery." "I knew it." "Bern couldn't get anyone that good-Iooking to jump his saggy ass." "I thought you and Dad had an agreement about this sort of thing." "We did." "We do." "Only this time he broke one of the rules." "He didn't tell me first." "So you're not upset Dad's fucking somebody else." "You're upset he didn't tell you he was fucking somebody else." "That's right." "The rule is, if you step outside the holy bonds... you have to tell your wife first." "So she can line up some young hottie of her own." "I guess that sounds fair." "You have other rules?" " Yeah, a whole slew of them." " Go on, tell me." "I'm curious." "You can't fuck my friends, I can't fuck yours." "No fucking of mutual friends." "Never in Hawaii." "Never in a hotel that costs more than $300 a night." "And never in a hotel that's under $75 a night." "Not on holidays." "There are others." "I just can't remember all of them at the moment." "Is one of them:" ""Never fuck anybody else in front of your kids"?" "I guess not." "Since there was that time I saw you in the hot tub... with some old guy with a hairy back." "Darling, your father was there." "And there was absolutely no penetration, I can assure you of that." " I'll bet that wasn't your choice." " And you were supposed to be in bed." "I was only gone a couple of hours, Rico." "Every hour you're gone is an hour I have to stay late." "I'm sorry about your buddy's kid, but I have kids of my own." "Is this about us not giving you the loan for the house?" "Because you never used to complain about having to work a little overtime." "This is about me not wanting to be taken advantage of by my employers." " We're more than just your employers..." " That's bullshit, David, and you know it." "When it's convenient, we're like family." "But in a pinch, I'm just an employee... and you and Nate are just my bosses." "Hey, little lady." "Taylor, I told you to wait upstairs." " My tummy hurts." " Let's go." "Is that man dead?" "That man was totally dead." "Yes, that man was totally dead." " Did you kill him?" " No." " Did that other man in there kill him?" " No." "He died of natural causes." "My friend Renee said sooner or later we'll all be dead." "That's true." "So someday I'll be dead, laying on a table like that?" "Not for a very, very long time." "My mom says my dad's good as dead as far as she's concerned." "That's just her way of expressing anger at him for not being around." "Sometimes my mom says she wishes she was dead." "That's just something that people say when they're upset about something." "Did that dead man in there have any kids?" "Yeah, he had a wife and three children and five grandchildren." " I don't ever want to die." " Me, neither." "It's called arteriovenous malformation." "AVM, for short." "Lots of people have it their whole lives and never even know." "And the pills?" "They're an anti-seizure medication." "So what happened to you, that was a seizure?" "Sort of." " Sort of?" " It was a mild seizure." " Does David know about this?" " Yes, he does." "I don't want Mom to know 'cause she'll just freak out." "All right?" "It's no big deal, I promise." "People don't just spaz out... and hork all over their shoes for no good reason." "Two words:" "Tofu meatloaf." "Besides, now I have these pills it'll be totally under control." " You swear?" " I swear." "I just have to take them for the rest of my life is all." "I don't believe you." "Just do me a favor and don't tell David about this." "This client of mine's a prostitute." " Is that supposed to shock me?" " What?" "God, not everything is about you." "You're such a classic narcissist." "Just because your parents are shrinks doesn't mean you know about psychology." "Just because you're a shrink doesn't mean that you're not out of your fucking mind." "I've treated several prostitutes over the years... and they're not as uncommon as you'd think..." "That's her." "She's your age." "I have to talk to her." " Mom, don't." "Please don't." " No, wait." "I'm not angry." "I'm not going to make a scene." "I just need to personalize the experience and humanize the situation." " It's for all of us." " You'll just regret it." "Miss!" "Hello, I'm Margaret, Bern's wife." "You know, Bern and I have a really open relationship... and I just want you to know it's okay with me." "I'd love to chat, but I've gotta go meet Bern for lunch." "Sorry." "Get off, you bitch!" "I can't believe you!" " Get off of me!" " Fine." "You slut!" "Psycho!" "I'll see you in hell." "I hope you like herpes." "You know, I thought she'd be more evolved." "Evolved?" "Mother, you just attacked that woman repeatedly." " She could have you thrown in jail." " I seriously doubt that." "Are you hungry?" "Why am I here?" "Why was it necessary for me to be here with you for this?" "Because you needed a fucking audience." " Not everything's about you, Brenda." " Look at Mommy." "Isn't Mommy pretty?" "Isn't Mommy fabulous and free-spirited and uninhibited?" "Validate Mommy, kids, because she's incapable of doing it herself." "No wonder Billy ended up in a psych ward." "Not that you care." "For your information, Miss High and Mighty, this is life." "People have crises." "They push each other's buttons." "They inflict pain on one another." "And once in a fucking blue moon, they bring out the best in each other." "But mostly, they bring out the worst." " You're pathetic." " Don't you dare judge me." "You think you're the paragon of mental health... just because you've been dating the same man for the past few months?" "That's real, compared to what your father and I have?" " You're just jealous." " Of what?" "The fact that I haven't allowed you to totally destroy my life... like you have everybody else's." "What life?" "You've spent 32 years being your little brother's nursemaid..." "Fuck you!" "...to avoid having any emotional life of your own." "And now that he's been put away... you're gonna have to face your own demons." "And, sweetheart, they're legion." "Get out of my car." "I would be happy to." "I hope you like pork roast and mashed potatoes." "They're okay." " Where are you going, dear?" " To watch TV." "In this house we eat dinner at the table." " You don't watch TV while you eat?" " No, we don't." "Maybe we can watch some TV when we're done eating." " So, what grade are you in, Taylor?" " Fourth." "David was in the fourth grade once." "It's true." "Did you know David used to be my Uncle Keith's boyfriend?" "Yes, I did." "Sometimes my momma calls my Uncle Keith a punk-ass fudgepacker... 'cause he likes men instead of women." "I guess that makes you a punk-ass fudgepacker, too, don't it?" "We don't use those kinds of words at this table." " We don't use those kinds of words at all." " How come?" " Because those words are..." " Hateful." "Those are hateful words." "What words do you use?" "Homosexual." "My Uncle Keith has a new boyfriend." "His name's Eddie." "He drives an ambulance." "But I don't like him too much." "Why not?" "He looks at himself in the mirror a lot, and he talks to me like I'm stupid." " I'm sure that's not true." " Yes, it is." "It is true." "Some people just don't know how to talk to children." "Tell me about it." "I think I'll start the dishes." "It's time for you to leave now." "Go!" " Is everything okay?" " Claire, I thought you were taking a nap." "I was reading." " Where's Nate?" " He's outside making a phone call." "Who were you talking to?" "Ants." "I'm being overrun by them." "At first I tried setting a little food aside for them next to the back door." "Then I tried coaxing them out with some citrus oil." "Now I'm trying to reason with them." "At home, my dad used to squirt them with lighter fluid and torch them." "I'm not still in love with your brother, if that's what you're thinking." "Actually, I wasn't thinking that." "I used to be." "I used to think one day he would realize I was the one for him." "He never has." "Do you think he ever will?" "I'm probably not the person to be asking that question." "He's my brother, but to tell you the truth, I'm just getting to know the guy." "He's a heartbreaker, that's for sure." "There are a dozen women all over Seattle... who would freak if they knew he was back here." " You must think I'm so stupid." " No, I don't." " Do you have a boyfriend?" " No." "Not anymore." "We broke up." "You're better off, trust me." "Fucking ants." "I just wanted to hear how your day went." "My mother practically beat the shit out of a woman in a parking lot... but apart from that, I'm fine." " How's Seattle?" " Seattle's good." "Your mother tried to beat the shit out of somebody?" "I really don't feel like reliving that right now." "How's it going with Claire?" "Great." "We're getting along great." "Is everything okay?" "I just have a headache." "We're gonna hit the road first thing in the morning." "Okay, I'll see you, then." "I just ran a bath and it's getting cold, so..." "I miss you." "I miss you, too." "You never called." "How did you know where I live?" "That's not really important." "I think maybe it is." "You wanna know what's really important?" "Show me." "Did she give you a hard time?" "Not really." "Let me grab her, and we'll get out of your way." "Thanks again." "It's no problem whatsoever." "She's a great kid, Keith." "She really is." "Considering everything she's been put through, it's kind of a miracle." "We should go." " Good night, David." " Good night." "I thought you might need an extra quilt." "It gets cold in this room." "Excellent." " Are you okay?" " Yeah." " I'm fine." " Are you sure?" "Yeah." "I'm good." "You can't fool me, Nate." "I know you too well." "I'm fine." "Poor baby." "It's okay." "I'm here." "I'm right here." "It's okay." " Are you sure you don't want any breakfast?" " I'm good." "I never eat breakfast." "Lisa, have you seen my old brown flannel shirt?" "I'm pretty sure it got donated to the co-op garage sale." "Here it is." "I love that shirt." "It's so Nate." " Why don't you hang on to it?" " No, I couldn't." "I want you to have it." " What would I want with your shirt?" " Would you just keep it?" "We should probably hit the road and pick up Mr. Mossback." "Right." "As always, it's been great seeing you." " Take care of yourself, Nate." " You, too." " It was nice to meet you." " Nice meeting you, Claire." " Thanks." " You're welcome." "Morning, Mom." "It's awfully quiet around here with Nate and Claire being gone." "I suppose it is." "What time did your friend come by to pick up his niece?" "1:30." "That's awfully late for a child her age to be up." "She was asleep on the sun porch." " Is there something you'd like to say to me?" " No." "Yes, there is." "I'm all ears." "Your father used to say that to me all the time. "I'm all ears."" "Sometimes you remind me of him." "What's on your mind?" "You have to be careful with children... because their blueprints are being drafted by the adults in their lives." "And this little girl..." "It seems to me that her foundation is probably unstable enough... without you bringing your..." "My what?" "Your relationship with her uncle, you have to admit... might be a little confusing to someone her age." "I'm happy for you if this whole plan thing of yours has enabled you... to draft your own blueprint... or patch up some of the cracks in your foundation." "But just between you and me, you're starting to sound like a crazy person." "I think it's time you kept that shit to yourself... and minded your own fucking business." "Thank you." "It's a little weird driving a dead guy all the way back to LA." "It's only weird if you make it weird." " It's a little weird." " It's not." "You know, Nate, I don't know why... but it's comforting to know you're just as fucked up as the rest of us." "I'm not anywhere near as fucked up as the rest of you." " You are." " I'm not." " Yes, you are." " Shut up and drive." "... a report by this entertainment industry analyst released today... showed a severe drop in the summer box office results at the major studios." "A Warner Brothers spokesperson pooh-poohed the projections..." "Previn?" "Previn, are you in there?" "It's George, the building manager." "I started to smell something a few days ago... but I just thought someone was cooking cabbage." "See?" "You can still smell it." "I'm not crazy." "Oh, my God!" "I'm just surprised." "Why?" "I told you I was going to write a book." " No, you didn't." " I thought I did." " What?" " I need to get in there." "So you're just gonna sit down today and start writing?" "Yeah, I think that's how it's usually done." "Except for Hemingway." "He stood." " What?" " I need to get in there now." " What?" "You think I can't write a book?" " No, of course not." "It's just a book is so big." "Not all of them." "Well, it's just the last time we talked about you doing something new... you mentioned getting Billy's friends to help you open an art gallery." "Yeah, well, I got to thinking." "I don't need to help others express themselves." "I should do it myself." "I think this is great." "Charlotte finally speaks." "Your fucked up childhood from your point of view." "People will want to read that." "No way." "I'm not gonna write a memoir." "What is it, then?" " Fiction." " Really?" "That's so ambitious." "I love it." "I hope I'm going to be in it." "I've always wanted to be thinly veiled." "You might be in it... if you ever do anything interesting." "I need help." "Do you think the hair on Mr. Peterson's forearms is sexy?" "Or is it too unkempt?" "Sometimes he gets all tufty." "I really don't have time for this." "This weekend is my last chance to take the SATs." "I have to do well." "Just take a break." "It'll keep you from burning out." "Every fall, I rate the male teachers' fuckability." "I've been doing it since the sixth grade." "I am, like, 400 times smarter than you." "Why aren't you panicking more about this test?" "Because I know how to play the game." "I have a tutor." "I've taken practice tests." "And my mom's life coach is advising me." "Your mom's life coach?" "Parker, do you have any idea what a parody of yourself you are?" "I feel bad for Mr. Van Kirk." "If he hadn't stopped working out, he could've easily cracked the top 10." "Give me that." "Gitterman's coming in at 22?" "I was feeling generous." " Hey, Claire." " Gary, hi." " See you this afternoon?" " Yep." "Gary has a great ass." " You think he has a great ass?" " Yeah." "Like you haven't noticed." "My mom calls them buns." "She's so not of this century." "I don't care how much she pays her life coach." "I could fuck Gary." "Easy." "So this woman in her 40s just died alone in her apartment?" "Just out of the blue?" "I mean, she must have had some kind of medical condition." "No, she choked to death." "She lay there for a week before anyone found her." "Why didn't anybody notice sooner?" "Maybe they thought she was on vacation." "Here are the arrangements for her funeral." "They're self-explanatory." "You should be able to take care of it." "Shouldn't I talk to whoever's gonna bury her?" "Nate, it's a pre-need." "She buried herself." "She bought everything she wanted ahead of time." "You have her contacts for family and friends, directions for the service... and the specifications about her restoration." "She knew exactly what kind of service she wanted." "You'll need to order the sheet music for the organist." "And I am telling you I'm not going." "She certainly had a sense of humor." "What song is that?" "It's from Dreamgirls." "You know it:" "And I am telling you" "I'm not going" "You're the best man I've ever known" "It must be weird to fill one of these things out for yourself." "I had fun doing mine." "I have a test on Monday, I have an art history paper due next week." "I know I could do a good job on both if I had more time, but I don't." " Do I have something on my face?" " No." "You're giving me this look." "It's just nice to see you so involved." "Are you taking the SAT this weekend?" "I saw the books in the library." " I don't know why I didn't tell you." " It's okay." " I just signed up for it." "I wasn't sure." " No, it's great." "You're taking school more seriously, and you're gonna take the SAT." " It shows you're nurturing yourself." " Give me a break." "I'm so scared of having my own thoughts or going my own direction... that I need some safety or approval." "This stuff is just cop-out distractions." "You know what?" "This session's given me some clarity." "I should just blow this test off... and look really hard inside myself for what I really want." "Claire, you're obviously frightened by taking this test." "Why?" "I don't know." "It's like, when I think about the test..." "I see this nasty fluorescent light." "The kind that shows all your pockmarks and tiny scars that you wish you could hide." "I see." "So it's very safe in the darkness, isn't it?" "Okay, you're getting kind of corny." "All I'm saying is you're finally in a place where you're coming into your own." "You're afraid if people see the real you, it'll be scary." "And guess what?" "It is scary." "For all of us." "Isn't it?" "Don't be silly, David." "You don't need to apologize for what you said about the plan." "If you live in a neighborhood for a long time... and somebody moves in and renovates the house across the street... that could just make you feel your own house is shabby." "I see." " Did you just insult me?" " Of course not." "You'll see." "When you're ready, you're going to live in a palace." "Claire, wash your hands." "We're about to eat." "Don't set a place for me." "I'm not staying." " Who are you having dinner with?" " No one." "I'm having coffee with someone I met at St. Stephen's." "David, if you have a date, just say it." "Nothing ever gets built if the materials aren't labeled properly." "Okay, I have a date." "David, I'm having a problem with the Emily Previn funeral." "Let's hear it." "I've called her entire contact list, and the friends she listed have moved or died." "She has two distant relatives." "One of which I can't reach, and the other has this phobia about funerals." "Some people are so sick." "Now we know why she wasn't found for a week." " I don't think she had anybody in her life." " How awful." "Have you called her job to notify her colleagues about the service?" "No." "She worked at a temp agency, so she just had jobs here and there." "She must have had someone that she forgot to list." "Try her high school." "Everyone has friends from high school." "No, they don't." "Maybe they have people they talk to, or do things with... but they're not really friends." "They're just filler." "What?" "It's true." "I want a glass of wine." "Oh, God." "It's so weird." "Who the hell was Emily Previn?" "Nate, are you okay?" " Yeah, I'm fine." " 'Cause your eyes look really weird." "Yeah, it's just this medication I'm taking." "It makes me a little drowsy." "That's all." "Honestly." "Maybe Emily Previn was autistic." "I read an article about a high-functioning autistic person who didn't need people." "She just had a job designing these big cattle slaughterhouses." "At night, she came home and sat in a machine... that made her feel like she was being hugged." "And that was all the intimacy she needed." "That's really upsetting." "I don't see why this person has to be mentally ill... just because she had a life that doesn't conform to a familiar image in our heads." "Maybe she was living the life she wanted." "A life without the hassle of other people." "What kind of a life is that?" ""Well, I'm sorry, Your Honor..." ""but how was I supposed to know it was your car?"" " I don't think I could be a public defender." " No?" "Why not?" "I just don't think I could defend people who are guilty." "I guess I could be a some-of-the-public defender." "So, what do you do?" "Me?" "My family owns a business." "Actually, it's a funeral home." "But I got out of that really quickly, and now I'm in textiles." "I like fabric." "I have to be in court in the morning." "I have a lot of work..." " Okay." "Maybe we'll see each other around." " David, relax." "It's fine." "I understand." "I guess there's not much of a spark here." "I thought there was." "You don't?" "No, I do." "I was just worried." "I'm sorry, Ben." "I get a little nervous at these things." "If I seem calm, it's only because I take a beta-blocker... before I have to get in front of a jury or first dates." "You're still nervous on the inside, but you don't show it as much." "Do you have any extra?" "Let's go on a real date next time." "Like, for dinner." "Okay, that would be nice." "You seem a little..." " Are you coming out of a bad breakup?" " No, I'm coming out of a bad celibacy." "I was in a relationship, but that ended." "Well, whatever happened, I blame him." "You shouldn't." "He's a great guy." "You get your spoiled little ass into that bed right now!" "Do you hear me?" "You suck!" "Right now!" "I mean it!" "I'm not tired." "When I'm at my real home, I don't have to go to sleep until I get tired." "I'm going to turn off the lights now, and soon you'll be tired." "What if I never get tired?" "Then you'll lay awake for hours and hours wondering why life is so hard." "That's what the rest of us do." "That sounds boring." "You get used to it." "Do you want to talk about anything?" "Like how you feel about staying here?" "Or being scared, because your mom's been in Oakland so long?" "No." "Okay." "But we don't know how long you're gonna be here." "So why don't we both try and ease up on each other a little bit, okay?" "You guys have bad toothpaste." "My first instinct is to get angry with her." "I open my mouth, I hear my father." "Stop being so hard on yourself." "That child is not easy." "I swore to myself I would never be like him." "I'm not in the mood." "Fine." "Get up!" " Hello?" " Hi, Melissa." "It's Brenda." "Chenowith." "Your massage therapist." "Hey, how's it going?" "Listen, I was just wondering if you hadn't eaten yet... if you wanted to have lunch." "Actually, I'm at a restaurant right now." "Look, I'm probably breaking all these client/masseuse boundaries." "I'll see you at your regular appointment tomorrow." "No, I was just gonna say I'm by myself." "I'd love the company." "Thank God." "Oh, Jesus!" "This one's gonna be one hell of a ride." "I'm sure you'll be able to take care of it." "Yeah?" "Well, don't be." "She must've been laying out for a week in a partially-ventilated space." "Why can't everyone die in an air-conditioned room?" "Her face is discolored from being lain on." "That I can fix, although it's gonna take me hours." "Her abdomen's all distended." "This woman's got a lot of gas in there." "When I poke a hole, we're gonna get some major fumes." "Whew, Nellie!" "I have no idea why I came in here." " Maybe you have Alzheimer's." " Yeah, maybe." "We really are just biology, aren't we?" "You may need to talk the family out of an open casket." " There's only so much I can do, man." " She doesn't have any family." " No one?" " No friends, or anybody." "I ran an obituary in the paper today." "I'm just praying someone will read it and come tomorrow." "Pre-need?" "If she wanted an open casket, we'll try to give her one." "I'll boost up the fluids and see if that'll bring the swelling down." "There's a good chance we're going to get some skin slippage, and then we're screwed." "Maybe she was just some vicious asshole, you know?" "Just twisted and evil." "Maybe that's why she didn't have any people in her life." "No." "You can tell what kind of life people lived even when they're dead." "Yeah, she was all right." "Please have your IDs out and ready so we can speed things along." " Claire Fisher." " ID?" " Sign right here." " Name?" " Parker McKenna." " Let's see." "Parker." "Sign here, please." "Next?" "Does anybody have an extra number two pencil?" "Here you go." "So it sounds like a pretty serious relationship for you." "It is." "I love Nate." "I really do." "But, lately, I feel kind of separate from him." "Which I know is healthy on one level." "But, on another, I kind of miss how it was." "When we started seeing each other and weren't together..." "I'd be wondering, "What is he doing," all day long." "Now?" "I never even think about it." "I don't know exactly when I changed." "But at some point, he became less present with me." "Sometimes I think it's because I don't give him enough to be present for." "But then I think, maybe he's not present because he knows if he was really present... then I'd leave him." "You know, it's just so sad that you can love somebody so much... and have absolutely no idea what's going on in their head." " Relationships are fucked." " That's what I always say." "I haven't had a real relationship in over a decade." " Is that because you..." " Because I blow guys for money?" "I'm so sorry." "That was..." "It's okay." "I've only been doing that for about five years." "So why, then?" "I'm just not built for it." "Some people aren't, I think." "It's not healthy or unhealthy." "It just is." "Oh, shit." "I'm being paged by a client." "I am not driving out to Calabasas in this traffic." "Let the jerk whack off." "You know, I'm really glad you could have lunch." "Me, too." "You know, it means a lot to me that you're so normal around me." "Most people have preconceived notions about what I do." "Yeah, well, people can be such judgmental assholes." "You don't have to tell me that." "You want to know what's worse?" "Most girls want to be my friend so that they can pump me... for all the gory details about being a lady of the evening." "It's just question after question, like I'm some kind of freak." " All right, you get three questions." " Oh, goody!" "There's that one." "No, I think that one makes you look fat." "Very funny." "Which one do you think will look better on Miss Previn?" "The pink one." "Didn't she specify which gown she wanted, or did Dad slip up?" "No, Dad didn't slip up." "She wanted to be buried in her own clothes." " The outfit she came in with was shot." " Give her the blue to get rid of it." "It's coming apart in the back." "David!" " Mom, did you want something?" " I was dusting your casket wall." "If this woman wanted to be buried in her own clothes... then one of you boys should go to her home and pick something out." "Isn't that a bit much?" "I remember Dad doing it once or twice." "You get the building manager to let you in." "Fine." "I'll pick out something dressy." "Considering the shape her body's in..." "I should pick whatever covers her up the most." "I'll come with you." " You don't have to do that." " I know that." "Aren't the guys scary?" "It must get dangerous." "To tell you the truth, it doesn't." "You just have to trust your instinct." "It's never wrong." "We're kind of like animals that way." "When I first meet a client, I take a good long look into his eyes." "That stupid stuff they say about looking in people's eyes is true." " You just look into them, and you know." " Know what?" "You know, whether someone is right, or whether they're... you know, wrong." "And if they're wrong, you just get out of there immediately." "No." "I think everyone has the answers to everything in life." " It's a matter of knowing how to listen." " You're fantastic!" "Fuck, you are!" "There is no bullshit with you!" "You are just who you are." "Period." "Even the way you talk about your work." "You provide a service for which you're well-compensated." " Unlike the rest of us losers." " Please." "If there was anything else that paid this much, I would do it in a heartbeat." "But there's not a touch of victimhood about you." "It's almost like it's empowering, in a way." "I went through that whole feminist rationalization stuff at first." "Now I'm just a little more honest." "It's just a way to pay the bills." "Sorry I can't make it to the funeral." "My kid's got a soccer game." "She was one of your tenants, for God's sake." "She lived among you." "Hey, come on." "I just started, all right?" "She only lived among me for a week." "She never even got to finish her crossword puzzle." "All right, look." " Five minutes?" " Yep." "Great." "Mom!" "Eddie needs to adapt to how things have changed." "I have a lot more responsibility now." "He needs to be more understanding that sometimes I'm gonna be tired, man." " Yeah, kids come first." "Period." " Exactly." "Have you had this conversation with him?" "He'd just say I need to make more time for him, which would piss me off." "So why bother talking to him about it?" "Because you keep everything bottled up inside you, my friend." "That's not good." "That creates cancer." " Give me a break." " It does." "My wife's cousin was a very angry person, but she never showed it." "She just cleaned all day, then she lost both her breasts." "It's weird." "You get away from me, dickless fuck!" " You don't own me." " What the fuck's wrong with you?" "You know, you fucking lie to me, bitch!" "Bitch, I'll blow your fucking brains out, you stupid cunt!" "I wish you would, but you don't got the balls to shoot me!" " Police!" "Drop the gun!" " Stay out of this!" "Fucking cops!" "Drop the gun." "You shoot me, they'll shoot you." "Then you'll be dead!" "You know what?" "The world will be a better place!" " Shut up!" " Drop the gun now!" "What is wrong with you?" "What did you do that for?" "What's wrong with you?" "I like all of these, but they seem so flat." "I wish one had a little more oomph." " Just grab that one." "That one has oomph." " No, it doesn't." "Don't rush me, Nate." "I'm not nearly done... and I haven't even started with the shoes and the jewelry." "Nate Fisher." "Yeah, hi." "I left a message there for Father Martin Farrell." "He was requested by the deceased to officiate at her funeral." "Great!" "Well, I'm fucked." "I'm sorry, Sister." "Are there any other priests you'd recommend for a funeral tomorrow?" "Mom?" " What, are you hungry?" " Of course not." " Then, are you ready to go?" " I don't know." "Maybe she liked solitude." "Maybe she was living the life she wanted and was happy." "I hope so." "But what if some nights, she wanted to talk to someone... and she picked up the phone... and realized she didn't have anyone she could call?" "What then?" "We don't know that she didn't have anyone to call." "Maybe there was someone." "I hope so." "No one thinks you did anything wrong." "You were just doing your job, okay?" "Now I know what's different." "You're not wearing your glasses tonight." "I was getting dressed, and nothing looked right... and I realized it was all my glasses' fault." "So I put in these contacts, which I actually hate... but I thought it was worth it, if you'd..." "This is me without beta-blockers." "It's good." "Maybe it's even better." " I still work in the family business." " Excuse me?" "I'm a funeral director, that's who I am." "I have to say, I'm glad you're not in textiles." "That sounded really dull." "Why did you lie?" "Well, come on." "People always get that look in their eyes, like there's something wrong with you." "They wait about 5 seconds before bringing the conversation around to necrophilia." "I just liked you too much, and I was scared it would repulse you." "So what made you tell me now?" "Because on our last date, I just sort of liked you... and now I really like you." " So I didn't screw things up because I lied?" " No, I think it's cute." " And I'm gonna wanna take this slow." " All right." "Can we just make out, already?" "We had plans to meet tonight." "At the Tiki Ti." "Did we?" "Claire, why did you blow me off?" "And why didn't you return my phone calls?" "Because I have nothing to say to you." "Look, I know this is about the SATs, but it wasn't my fault." "It was my mother's idea." "She heard about this girl through one of her friends." "She's this genius from Westlake who's going around taking the test." "And let me tell you, it works." "She got three people into Yale and five into Harvard." " This is so gross." " What was I supposed to do?" "My mom came into my room last night and told me she'd already paid the girl $1,000." "You make me so sick." "Just get out of here!" "Okay?" "I don't feel like ever seeing you again." " You're serious?" " Yeah, I am." "Fine." "Fuck you, Claire!" "By the way, I flirted for 45 minutes with Gary Deitman outside of school yesterday... and he's this total horny little freak." "And I'm gonna bag him, big time." "Congratulations." "I hope you and his stupid buns will be very happy together!" ""David Fisher and Benjamin Cooper invite you to a holiday open house. "" ""Merry Christmas from Ben and David."" ""Happy Holidays from the Cooper-Fishers."" ""Fish  Coop, new this fall on ABC."" "Keith, what's wrong?" "I'm not sure." "Okay." "Come in and sit down." "I shouldn't have even come here." "It's fine." "You want a beer?" " I have Rolling Rock or Amstel Light..." " I killed someone today." " Oh, my God." " It was this guy..." "Him and his woman were having a fight." "They were obviously both high on something." "He had a gun and..." "I'm sure whatever it was, you did the right thing." "He's dead, you fucking idiot!" "I should have aimed at his arm or his leg." "I'm stupid." "I'm so fucking stupid." "I never killed someone before." "I can't live with this." "I don't know how to help you." "Do you want to pray?" "Maybe that would do something." "David's not up yet?" "So where's Emily Previn?" "She's in there." "So she's not gonna have an open casket." " I couldn't do it." " Okay." "I was supposed to take the kids to dinner so Vanessa could have the night off." "But instead, I was here." "Until 9:00 last night." "Skin was fricking pouring off that woman's face!" "I get all this shit from Vanessa, and I wasn't able to restore the poor lady!" "Nobody could have." "But, here, you think you can do it?" "Here's some tools." "I want to watch you swim in that skin." "Go ahead!" "All I said was okay." "I'm sorry." "I just wish I could've done her the way she wanted." "If it'll make you feel any better, I don't think there are even gonna be any mourners." "Thanks." "Hello?" "It's me." " I thought you were still here." " I had to get back home." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Listen, what happened last night, that was wrong." "I don't know why I went to you, but obviously I wasn't thinking right." "Obviously." "I'm in a relationship." "I know that." "I'm not an idiot." "I just thought you and I could be friends... but I was just kidding myself." "Look, I don't think that you and I should see each other anymore." "David?" "Yeah, I'm here." "Sure, whatever you want." "I knew you would understand." "Goodbye." "Bye." "Thank you." "That was intense." "You're practically like jelly." "You don't need this." "Maybe not, but I love it." "You're gifted, you know that?" "Hello?" "Don't give me that bullshit." "I want your ass there in half an hour." "Okay, fuck you." "You are officially dead to me now." "Everything okay?" "I have a client at 2:15, and my watcher just cancelled." "Your watcher?" "He likes to be watched by another girl while I do him." "It's the easiest $100 in the world... and this asshole just blew me off for a runway audition." "God, I hate models." "Fuck." "If you're sitting in the corner depressed, pick up." "Pick up." "All right, be depressed." "Listen, if you're in a jam..." "This isn't a science project, honey." "This is business." "Please." "You think I can't handle it?" "Like I said, it's pretty easy." "Actually, it's like you're invisible." "Just sitting and watching." "I can do that." "I sit and watch all the time." "In fact, that's mostly all I do." "I guess you've been in three-way situations before." " I mean, who hasn't?" " Yeah." "Fuck." "I've never seen you this angry before." "It's terrific!" " No, my nephew made that." " Sorry." "Here, talk to me." "This girl cheated on the SATs, and now she's gonna get away with it." "Okay, what's this girl's name?" "When I realized what was going on, I just wanted to run and not take the test." "But I did." "I took it, like an idiot." "And what was the point?" "It's all just some stupid game." "I don't know what I want, but I don't want this." "And this is your excuse to bail?" "Bail?" "What's that?" "Some hip lingo you think kids say?" " You are so lame sometimes." " Direct your anger at me, if you need to." "By the way, you can fuck Parker McKenna, but if I were you, I'd wear a condom... because I'm sure she has hepatitis, at the very least." "What are you talking about?" "If you're referring to the conversation I had with Parker, that's all it was." "A conversation." "I have conversations with lots of young women." "They approach me." "Claire, I'm worried about you." "Why?" "You're getting your life together, and it scares you." "So you want to slip into the old habit of focusing on someone else's drama... instead of concentrating on yourself." "You need to stop doing that." "You're right." "And now is probably as good a time as any to talk about the sexual tension between us." " What?" " It exists." "It's a part of transference and counter-transference... so we should acknowledge it's out there, and it'll never be acted upon... because to do so would be irresponsible and destructive." "Do you have anything that you would like to contribute?" "No, I don't." "Okay." "I bet you I could glue this together if I tried hard." "I know people don't really glue things together anymore... but I could probably fix this." "You've reached the private line of David Fisher." "Please leave a message after the beep." "Hi, David." "It's Ben." "I'm calling to figure out what time's good for you on Saturday." "And I had a really good time last night, especially the making out part." "Okay." "Bye." "Yeah, honey." "You know exactly how I like it." "Come on." "Move your tongue around it." "Yeah." "And I am telling you" "I'm not going" "I'm the best man you'll ever know" "There's no way I could ever go" "Nate, I love you!" "Now that I've heard this song five times in a row, I can honestly say I dislike it." "I'm here for the service." "Look around, nobody's here." "There's not gonna be any service." "I couldn't even get a minister, and they get paid." "I've taken care of that." "Father Jack is on his way here right now." " Just give me 10 minutes." " For what?" " Federico?" " Yes, Mrs. F?" "Could you come upstairs, please?" "Keith?" "David, I need you for a few minutes." " Mom, I have a headache." " Too bad." " But I'm in the middle of a show." " Just do what I say!" "And get out of those ragamuffin clothes." "Why is this happening?" "I don't know." "Our structures probably need new fencing." " And our roofs had bad shingles." " I had shingles once." "She was supposed to have an open casket." "I did the best I could, okay?" "I didn't see you down there helping me out." "Leave it alone." "We gather to mourn the passing of Emily Previn." "I did not know Emily Previn." "From what I gather, few, if any, people did." "People might wonder what point there is in leading a life... where you don't touch any other lives." "But it would be arrogant of us to assume that." "Every life is a contribution." "We just may not see how." "I'm glad to encounter Emily Previn, even if it is in death." "Everyone comes into our life for a reason... and it is our responsibility to learn what they have to teach us." "Now, in accordance with Emily's wishes..." "I will read from the Book of Matthew, Chapter 11." "Strange, but somehow I feel like Emily won." "She remains a fucking question mark right up to the bitter end." "Basically all I know about her is that she kept Wheat Thins in her refrigerator." "That's something." "So, tell your mother I have to get back to work." "Unlike some people." "I'm sorry, Federico, but I have a headache." "Am I not allowed to have a headache?" " It's so good to see you." " Hello, Father." "How is everything at St. Stephen's?" "It's okay." "Apropos of what I said earlier, I wanted to thank you, David." "I'm really glad you came into my life." "You will never know how much you taught me about myself." "Really?" "How so?" "Another time, maybe." " You look a little sad." " I have a headache." "Well, God bless." "David, come over here." "There's something I want to say to the three of you." "Oh, Lord, our gutters are clogged." "I think we need to see about removing the leaves." "That's very funny, Claire." "I know you think the plan is ridiculous." " No, we don't." " We just think it's weird." "Did any one of you wonder why I felt the need to change the structure of my life?" "Did you even care?" "At first I didn't understand why I was so upset about Emily Previn." "Then it hit me." "I don't want to turn into her." "Life is hard enough without not having people to help you." " But, Mom, you have us." " I do not." "Nate, you've been walking around like a zombie for months." "You're lying in bed during the day, God knows why." "I have a headache." "Claire, I can't even look in your direction... without you acting like it's some incredible imposition." "All I want is for us not to be strangers." "I want some intimacy." "Give me intimacy." "Won't any of you have intimacy with me?" "Okay, I guess I have my answer." "Mom, wait." "I just think that intimacy should happen a little more organically than this." "Fine." "Then I'll simply wait for it like I have been." "I just pray that it happens before I end up like Emily Previn." "Now, if you'll please excuse me." "When I saw you typing at your computer, you had the strangest expression." "I was writing." "It's called flow." "You know all about flow, don't you?" "Let me ask you a question." "Do you think you and I have as much intimacy as you want?" "I don't have as much of anything as I want." "That's not really much of an answer." "It wasn't really much of a question." "Did you remember to lock the door?" "Yes, I did, for the second time." "You've been acting strange tonight." " What do you mean?" " Well, you've been all jumpy." "Oh, God." "Okay, something has been on my mind." "Nate Fisher... would you be my wife?" "My God, this isn't what I was expecting." " Is that a no?" " No, of course not." "It is kind of an ugly ring." "It's got these Greek letters on it." "Delta Phi Delta." "It's my grandfather's fraternity ring." "I found it when I was cleaning up... and that's when I got the idea... to propose to you." "So why today?" "I don't know." "I just started thinking..." "I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you." "Well, I'm not going anywhere." "Promise?" "Of course I'll marry you." "I love you." "Absolutely." "I love you." "Yeah, let's get married!" "Yes!" "Let's get married!" "Come on!" "I love you, too." "Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player" "Over there." "I just saw a fin." "Right." "In the most polluted port in America?" " Nothing could live here." " Really?" "That makes me sad." "It looks so beautiful at night." "Yeah, so is Burbank." " You're gorgeous, you know that?" " Shut up!" "So why haven't you ever talked to me before?" "I was intimidated." "You're very intimidating." "You're full of shit." "Of course they pick a goddamn boat this year... so nobody can leave before Parkinson's jerk-off speech... about what a fucking great company this is, right?" "Right." "Like anything that self-important fuck says could change the fact... that we'll be filing for bankruptcy by the end of the year." "You're new here, aren't you?" "Yeah, about six months." "I'd start sending out my résumé now... unless you're one of Parkinson's fucking inner circle." "If you are, then... fuck me, right?" " Do you wanna go and get another drink?" " Please." "Excuse me." "I guess I'm the asshole... for telling the fucking truth!" "Shit!" "That's not fair." "You suck!" " Morning." " God, you scared me!" " You're up early." " I slept like a fucking baby." " Yeah, me, too." " After the night we had?" "The sheer exhaustion factor alone." "Yeah, I gotta say it was worth the wait." " So does this mean the ebb is over?" " For now." "Want a coffee?" " Wow, this is kind of racy." " Hey, no!" " Is that your novel?" " I don't know what it is yet." " When do I get to read it?" " When it's ready, if it's ever ready." "Well, who's Christina?" "Is that your fictional alter ego?" "Your Holden Caulfield?" "She's more like my Humbert Humbert." "You know, my Constance Chatterley." "She's like Hermione in the Harry Potter books." "What would you rather have:" "Some overly-educated gasbag like Trevor... or a semi-literate fuck machine like me?" "Come on." "That's a no-brainer." "No pun intended." "I have something for you." "I know it's small, but it is a diamond." "You think I care about diamonds?" "Will you marry me, Brenda Chenowith?" "Haven't we done this already?" " What?" " I love you." "Good." "Something else?" "I thought we could announce it to my family at dinner tonight." "I was gonna ask my mom to make dinner." "Look, we have to do this sometime." " And what about your family?" " Are you kidding?" "They are way too consumed in their own divorce drama to even notice." "Let's just not tell them and say that we did." "And what about Billy?" "You know, I haven't really talked to him for a while." "Why don't I make you pancakes from scratch... like a good little wife-to-be... before I fuck your brains out and send you to work?" "How about we skip the pancakes?" "Shit, you're already dressed?" "Am I holding you up?" "No, not really." " Well, maybe a little." " You've got the best shower." "Mine's just this weird bolt sticking out of the wall that sends out mist." "It takes five minutes just to get wet." "How come I always stay here?" "It's time for you to stay at my place." " After that great recommendation?" " It's nice." "MGM built it back in the '30s to house starlets." "Great parquet floors, unbelievable molding... but some idiot did an '80s retro-fit and ripped out all the good fixtures." "I'll be happy to stay at your house, fixtures aside." "You know, I never thought you'd call me back after that second date." "Why?" "Because I never think the good guys are gonna call back." "Who said I'm a good guy?" "Well, it's been three weeks." "That's usually a sign." "Check with me in three months." "I'll tell you how you're doing." "Good morning." "Sit." "Have some breakfast." " Most important meal of the day." " Good morning, dear." "Apparently." "How would you like your eggs?" "Surprise me." "Now, this is good, yeah?" "All together for breakfast." "Well, I see it's Good Neighbor Day at the Fisher house." "David, was that a new friend I saw leaving this morning?" " Mom, please, I'd rather not discuss..." " What does he do?" "He's a public defender." "You should have asked him in for breakfast." "We'd all like to meet him." "Yes, bring him next time." "I would like to meet him." "Where's Nate?" "We have an intake in 15 minutes." "He called from the car." "There was an accident on the 10... and he told me to ask everyone to be here for dinner tonight." "He has something important to tell us." "A big family dinner." "It will be fun." "Everybody had gotten off... and the lights were on." "You could see what a dumpy little boat it actually was..." "And he just wasn't there." " It's hard to believe right now, but time..." " I got dumped at a party in college once... it was the Kappa Sig luau... by some guy whose name I don't even remember." "The sun was coming up, and I just... sat there staring at this stupid pig carcass... in my stupid Hawaiian-print sundress." "Mrs. Collins, have you thought about..." "Matthew and I had been married for almost 20 years." "Can you believe that?" "I met him when I was barely 20." "And now he's dead... and I'm just that much closer to it." "I'm sorry, we don't allow smoking inside." "Please put that out." "It's against California State Law." "We could be fined." "Sorry." "How long will it take?" "It depends on the kind of service you were thinking of." "Length of visitation, should you choose an open casket..." "My husband was dredged up from Long Beach Harbor... with a propeller slice halfway down his body." "Closed casket, then." "How much?" "I can't spend a lot of money." "We're probably looking at around $7,000." "That seems like a lot." "It's about average, maybe a little less." "We'll take care of everything... make it as easy on you as possible." "I need to think about this." " Of course." "Let us know what you decide." " I can show myself out." " Shopping around for the best deal." " Isn't that her right?" "She's wasting our time." "Oh, dear, when did you get so dried out?" "You must be thirsty." "The flowers are lovely, Sarah." "Thank you." "I just cut them on my walk through the canyon." "Don't worry, you didn't put me out one bit." "This kitchen is exactly the same." "Yes, it is." "You look well." " So do you." " I only just got your messages." "I was in Madrid." "I wanted to stay through Christmas, but I ran out of money." "The reason I was calling was because..." "What I want to say was that..." "I forgive you." "You're the only family, apart from the children, that I have left." "I didn't want more time to go by with our not talking." "We're sisters." "We shouldn't be estranged." "I took this course called The Plan." "You did The Plan?" "You're shitting me." "That is so great, Ruth." "You, of all people." " What's that supposed to mean?" " No, it's very brave." "I know it couldn't have been easy for you." "I did it back in the '70s... when it was still called "Transitional Focus."" "Before Ernst Vollhoffer was busted for tax evasion... and sold it to the Canadians." "That's when it became The Plan." "I met Vollhoffer at a party once... and he came on to me." "But I'd just dropped acid for the first time... and I thought he was some Mayan death priest... who wanted to cut out my heart and throw it into a pit." "So I blew him off." "Catherine Collins has decided to go with the Unger mortuary." "Well, I guess that's that." "Unger is a Kroehner home, Nate." "Yeah, so?" "So Kroehner charges about double what we do." "That's the third funeral Kroehner has stolen from us... since Mitzi Huntley came to visit." "They are after us again." "Look, now you're just being dramatic." "This from a man who basically lives in denial." "Look, Stan told me at lunch last week that Kroehner stock had taken a nosedive." "Why would they be wasting their time with small potatoes like us?" "Maybe because you told Mitzi to shove her good-faith gesture up her ass?" "I told you guys that Kroehner wasn't gonna let up, but nobody listens to me." "Not now, Federico." "We needed that funeral." "How else are we paying for the fine from the DCA?" "That's $1,800 we don't have right now." "I asked you to check the proof." "No license number on a billboard opposite a retirement home... makes us look like amateurs." "We cannot afford to be vulnerable." "I'm not comfortable starting on this woman's perm until I have a photo." "Any idea when that's supposed to arrive?" "I have an inspector coming to my house this afternoon." "It came in this morning and I put it in her file... which you would know if you bothered to look." "I'm calling Catherine, and I'm going to lowball Unger." "Even if we cut our profits in half, we can show Kroehner we're willing to fight." "Hey, Mom." "Hello." "Who are you?" "I'm your Aunt Sarah." "Claire, the Goddess is clearly manifesting through you." " It's very obvious." " Thanks." "I thought you were dead." "The skin like milk." "Treasure it while it lasts." "Ruth, you told your daughter I was dead?" "Shame on you." "I never told her any such thing." "Claire, why would you lie about that?" "Whenever you talked about her, it just sounded like she was dead." "I just assumed." "Well, I've made a miraculous recovery." "Tell me exactly what you were feeling when you made this." " Boredom." " Liar." "There's anger and yearning... passion, resentment of the status quo, some jealousy of it, as well." "Not the most original perspective, but it's authentic." "I love this!" "The technique:" "Very precise, very adult." "The death of romance in a regimented, artificial world." "Lovely." "Actually, I found it in the garbage." "My dad threw it out after a funeral." "I thought it looked cool, so I kept it." "You're an artist, Claire." " Please." " I'm not saying you're any good, yet." "But if you focus and live fully, you could become something." "If you're lucky and don't self-destruct." " Right." " You've got an eye." "You see through the veil." "It's a blessing and a curse." "Okay." "You need something red in your relationship corner... like a red velvet pillow." "Something bordello-ey." "You're resisting the carnal." "That's your mother rubbing off on you." "Put a plant in your knowledge corner if you want to grow into your potential." "What is that, Feng Shui?" "You're kidding, right?" "You can drop the generic apathy crap." "That's just laziness." "You're more than that and you know it." "Hey, baby, sorry I'm late." "Rico, we are fucked." "It's definitely mold." "I told you so." "See, this is why Julio's cold don't get any better." "Maybe you've got structural damage in your chimney... and water's leaking in." "When the rain starts, it'll get worse." "Okay, what can we do?" "I got to rip this all out and see what's going on inside." "Maybe we can patch things up, maybe it'll be bigger than that." " How much is it all gonna cost?" " You got serious water damage here." "It could be anywhere from $3,000 to maybe $7,000 if your roof is involved." "Excuse me one second." " We can get Ramon to fix it." " Fix it?" "He didn't even spot it." "You heard him." "There's serious water damage." " Any idiot would know that." " Don't call my cousin an idiot." "Okay, no, I'll call you an idiot... because you were too cheap to get a real inspector initially." "I'm an idiot?" "Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to go to your sister... and buy this piece-of-shit house behind my back." "Now you think about that." " God damn it!" " What happened?" "I just got snapped running a red light." "We are living in a motherfucking police state, I tell you what!" "Any calls while I was at lunch?" "The Unger mortuary called to say the funeral we poached from Fisher  Sons..." " is going back to them." " You're kidding!" "We undercut them by almost $500." "Well, now they've undercut us by nearly $1,000." "Oh, my God, I love this!" "They're cute, but they are such bad businessmen." "Well, they won't last." "What have I got tomorrow?" "Your trainer at 9.00... then back-to-back performance reviews from 1.00 to 5.00." "Cancel everything except the trainer." "All right." "I think I need to spend a little quality time with the fabulous Fisher boys." " Ruth, do you have any tarragon?" " All the spices are in that cabinet." "Well, now I know what to get you for Christmas." "Dean  Deluca have these fantastic spices in test tubes." "Very mad scientist." "You'll love them." " What are you making?" " I'm not sure yet." "I'm making Chicken Kiev." "I bought all the ingredients to make Chicken Kiev." "So we'll make Chicken Kiev." "Have tarragon, will travel." "Tarragon is not listed in the ingredients." "Following instructions?" "Where's the creativity in that?" "Cooking is alchemy, not a science." "It is if you want it to turn out right." "Is there anything I can do to help?" "Smell." "This vodka is from Poland." "You will like it." "Ruthie, why don't you join us?" "Thank you, but I'll wait till dinner is served to have a glass of wine." "Okay, suit yourself." "Where you learning to speak the Russian?" "It's a long story." "Let's just say there was a man involved." "Of course there was." "Claire, when you are finished mixing the herbs in... you want to form the butter into little logs." "Eight of them." "No, not at all." "It's deliciously sensual." "Wash your hands first, Claire." "You wild woman." "Nikolai is adorable and hot." "The sex must be spectacular!" "Good for you." "Oh, my God!" "You're all grown up, but your face is still 12 years old." "David, you remember your Aunt Sarah?" "Yes, hi." "I'm sure you couldn't forget her if you tried." " David, have some vodka." " Yes." "This is so surreal." "The engagement dinner." "I feel like I'm in a training movie from the '50s about how normal people behave." "Well, my family's anything but normal." "Compared to mine, they're the fucking Cleavers." "Just relax and enjoy yourself, all right?" "You look gorgeous." " Everybody loves you." " Not your mother." "All you have to do is sit back... and be the center of attention, all right?" "Come on." "So, Linda, what do you do?" " It's Brenda." " Forgive me, I'm drunk." "It's all Nikolai's fault." "He's been plying me with vodka since the moment he arrived." "I'm a massage therapist." "She's an amazing massage therapist, and she's writing a novel." "You are?" "I'm writing something." "We'll see what it turns into." "Have you ever read Charlotte Light and Dark?" " Yes." " Well, she's Charlotte." " I didn't know that." " What is this, Charlotte light and who?" "It's this book about this girl who's being analyzed... and she's smarter than the people who are analyzing her." "And so she's constantly fucking with them." "It's hilarious." "You continue to be drawn to strong, complex women." "Bravo." "Mom, this dinner is delicious." "I think it's a little sour, myself." " No, it's one of the best you've ever made." " It's great." " Here, more vodka?" " Please." "I had a lover who was Russian." "He once told me... that vodka was to Russians what therapy is to Americans." "Something habit-forming and expensive... that totally destroys your ability to lead an authentic life." "Sorry, both my parents are shrinks." "And that was very painful for you." "But if it weren't for that, you probably wouldn't be writing your novel, right?" "Speaking of creativity, is everyone aware of the budding artist in the family?" " No, who?" " You haven't seen Claire's work?" "Shame on you." "She needs feedback... even if it's just so she can learn to ignore it." "Claire, I know so many creative people from all over the world." "You must come stay with me in Topanga Canyon and meet some of them." "Okay." "What?" "Now's as good a time as any, I guess." "The reason that I wanted us all to get together for dinner tonight... is that Brenda and I have decided to get married." "Good, married." "This calls for a toast, yes?" "Absolutely!" "There you go." "Something to toast with." "To romantic love:" "Both the inspiration and utter folly of it." "Thank you." "That's really kind." " Cheers." " Congratulations." "So, Linda, I never would have taken you as the type to get married." "Show us the ring." "Yeah, don't blink." "You might miss the diamond." " Here you go." " No, it's beautiful." "It's lovely." "Ruth, did you see?" "Yes, very nice." "I'll go put on some coffee." "Is there any more of that vodka left?" "Ruthie, what's wrong?" "Your son is going to marry." "This is a beautiful thing." "It's been a long day, that's all." "I'm fine." "Just look at this mess." "Don't worry." "I'm going to help you clean up." "Thank you." "God, there is so much emotion to navigate where family is concerned." "Vicodin anyone?" "No, thanks, I'm fine." "Okay, what's the deal with me going to Topanga Canyon?" "Mom totally freaked." "No one ever told you?" "Oh, my!" "It seems I'm a terrible influence." "David and I went to stay with Aunt Sarah one weekend... and I kind of lost my virginity." "How old were you?" " Fifteen." " How old was she?" " I'm not sure. 20-something." " She was 32." "Oh, my God, that's totally fucked up!" "Your mother has never forgiven me and she never will, no matter what she says." "Granted, there was an awful moment when David was lost... but he was found completely unharmed in the canyon the next morning." "Damn, I miss out on all the best stuff in this family." "Well, that was a disaster." "Your mother hates me more than ever now." " She does not hate you." " Come on, Nate." "Who cares if she does?" "I'm just glad it's over." "On to the next." "We have a whole lifetime... of tense and uncomfortable family gatherings to look forward to." " Hello?" " Hey, where have you been?" "We had kind of a family dinner." "My brother's getting married." " Are you drunk?" " Yes." "My mother's boyfriend kept pouring vodka." "I'm gonna have such a fucking headache tomorrow." "Your mom's boyfriend was there?" "So how come you didn't invite me?" "Because I knew it would be excruciating... and I wanted to spare you?" "I wish you were here, or me there." "Why?" "So we could have hot sex and then fall asleep together." "You could always come over here." "I'm too drunk." "I shouldn't drive." "Or I could come over there." "I'm too drunk." "I shouldn't drive." "Take some aspirin before you go to bed, and vitamin C. Drink lots of water." "I'll talk to you tomorrow." "Okay, bye." "Hey, Mom." "Here, let me help you." "You ready?" "You should have used your grandmother's ring." "God knows your brother isn't going to use it." "And who knows if Claire will ever settle down." "That ring was for you." " I didn't even know about it..." " You are the firstborn... and probably the only opportunity for grandchildren that I will ever live to see." "Mom, you never even told me about it." "What I think this is really about is you don't like Brenda." "That's not true." "I just don't want you to get hurt." "Is she pregnant?" "No, she's not." "But she is the woman I love, Mom." "You may not think she's the best person for me, but I do, and I need you to accept that." "We're glad you came back to Fisher  Sons." "You gave me the best price." "That's the only reason I'm here." "That other place wanted me to sign some waiver before I could see the body." "Do you want me to do that, as well?" "Mrs. Collins, I don't think you want to go through that." "Your husband's body experienced severe trauma." "It's beyond restoration." "Restoration?" "No, I don't want him restored." "What's the point?" "Perhaps we should choose a casket." "You think it's a day like any other." "What you don't realize is that anything can happen." "And then it does." "It happens." "And there's so much left unsaid." "And it was all just wasted time." "I just want somebody to help me understand." "Just to help." "Can you help me?" "The first line of C. S. Lewis' A Grief Observed is:" ""No one ever told me grief felt so like fear."" "I'll get you a copy." "I think it will help." "It's going to be okay." "No, it's not." "What's wrong?" "Doesn't it ever get you down?" "Sure, all the time." "You know, I keep thinking it's going to get easier, but it just doesn't." "No, it doesn't." "It just gets more familiar." "Hello?" "Anybody home?" "Hello?" "Don't you two look sharp!" "Just as sharp as a couple of little tacks." "Miss Huntley." "What can we do for you?" "Well, for one thing, you can call me Mitzi." "Stop being so goddamn formal." "Now, how come y'all have not thanked me for this snazzy casket wall?" "Maybe I should thank you for selling our beautiful and highly profitable caskets." "Seeing as how you've bought up, absorbed, and shut down every other competitor?" "What the fuck do you want?" "What the fuck do I want?" "I want you boys to come the fuck with me on a little fucking trip." "What do you fucking say?" "What kind of fucking trip?" "Well, see, now that's a secret." " We're very busy." " Well, I suggest you get unbusy." "I understand Fisher  Sons... forgot to put their license number on a recently-printed advertisement." "We've already been fined for that." "So you can just turn around..." "No, I'm not talking about the billboard." "I'm talking about the two-column incher in the funeral pages of the LA Times." "It's run three weeks in a row now." "So that is three fines that you can avoid if you just... drop the attitude and come with me." "Federico, hi, it's David." "Nate and I are tied up for the rest of the day... so we need you to pick up the Collins body from the Unger mortuary." " You can't just expect me to drop..." " Federico, I need you to do this." "Fine." "Collins?" "You bad boy." "That wasn't very nice of you, stealing a funeral from us." " One that you stole from us first." " Oh, please." "This whole self-righteous chip-on-the-shoulder thing... kind of worked for Russell Crowe in Gladiator." "But you don't have the special effects to back it up." "You get a big kick out of yourself, don't you?" "And you are a big stick-in-the-mud, aren't you?" "Lighten up." "The whole purpose of this trip is to have fun." "Just ask Bobo." "I said, now what's Mitzi doing hiding all the way in the back?" "Hi, darling, you know the Fishers?" " Bobo." " Good to see you guys again." "Well, I need to mingle." "I'm not being a very good hostess." "She's quite a little spitfire, isn't she?" "So when did you all become members?" "Members?" "Nothing beats flying out to Palm Springs twice a month for a little golf." "You know, I met Merv Griffin last time." "Hell of a guy." "We're never selling to Kroehner." "Well, then you're idiots." "No offense." "It must have been fun having a sister growing up." ""Fun" is not the word I would choose." "God, I can't believe I never even met her before." "It's for the best." "Sarah has no boundaries and she's completely self-involved." "She would have only disappointed you." "Whatever." "You know that I think if you work hard... you can be good at whatever you put your mind to." "Yeah, sure, Mom." "How long is my house gonna be like this?" "This is a big job." "You got to be patient." "Patient?" "Where was patient when you told us to buy a house full of mold?" "I'm not a licensed house inspector." "You knew that." "Besides, you should call that realtor and sue her for nondisclosure." "Shit." "I got to head down to Long Beach before rush hour." "No, come on, baby." "You got to stay here." "You have to deal with this." "I got to pick up a body." "That's what pays the mortgage." " Let David do it." "What are you, his lapdog?" " Shut up!" " Just shut up." "Can you do that for once?" " Rico, calm down, man." "She's just stressed with the mess and two kids." "Who wouldn't be?" " Cut her some slack." " Thank you." "I'm out of here." "He can be a real pain." "Yeah, you don't have to tell me that." "Don't you worry." "We'll get this fixed just as soon as we can, okay?" "The house was built in '59 for Frank Sinatra." "If these walls could talk." "I don't even want to know what all happened on that coffee table." "Come on." "You see what you boys are missing?" "This is the life." "Don't hurt yourself, Bobo." "Would you be a dear darling and fix us up another batch of those frozen margaritas?" "Thank you, lovely." " She's single." " I'm engaged." "Yeah, well, I'm married." "There are swimsuits and towels and such in the cabana out by the pool." "Pepper used to be captain of the USC swim team." "Now he's trying to make it as an actor." "God, they're a dime a dozen, aren't they?" " Why are we here?" " To have fun." "My God, boy, I don't even think you know what that is." "Listen to me." "I understand... exactly how exhausting and depressing running a small business like yours can be." "Your only job today is to forget about all that." "Enjoy." "Well?" "We should at least try to have a good time." "What's up?" "I was just leaving you some laundry." "Thanks." "You got room for me in there, boys?" "I want you to know Matt Gilardi never got to come here." "Is that supposed to make us feel better about how he harassed us?" "And how you're continuing to harass us?" "Please, you boys have got to get over this victim mentality." "Finally, the sales pitch." "That's considerably more money than we've ever offered you." "You know, this was our father's business." "It's not something we can just walk away from." "David, nobody is asking you to leave." "We like things just the way they are." "We like our lives just the way they are." "Honey, it may be tomorrow, it may be 10 years from now... but y'all are going under." "It is just evolution." "Kroehner's got the size, resources, market share, lobbyists in Washington." "What do y'all got?" "Your pride." "Car's leaving for the airport in five minutes." "Y'all better hurry." "Should we have taken that offer?" " What?" " Why are we doing this?" "Fighting so hard?" "Maybe she's right." "Maybe this is a losing battle." "Don't tell me you got seduced by a hot tub." "So she dangled a fat check in front of us." "So the fuck what?" "No, we can't give up, David, all right?" "We can't." "We just can't." "No medication?" "Have you told Brenda yet?" "Yeah, like a week ago." " How'd she take it?" " You know Brenda." "She pretends to be stronger than all of us." "Hey, you." "I didn't think you were coming." "Well, you know me." "I can't sleep without you." "You're the only thing in my life that works." "Oh, shit." "My client." "I got to get this." "Oh, God, I love you so much." "I just love you." "I enjoyed the sermon." "So do you have to work today?" " Not really." " Good." "I thought you had to prepare for a hearing tomorrow." "I'm thinking about blowing that off." "The guy's totally guilty." "I'd rather spend the day with you." "Hey, I didn't know you were here." "That's a big-ass lie." "I saw you staring in church." " Who's this?" " This is Taylor." " Taylor, this is my friend Ben." " Hi." "So how are you?" " You want to go over and say hi?" " No, we'll be late for the movie." "You guys not talking now?" "We had an argument." "It's nothing." "Taylor, come on." "Got to go." "I miss you." "Me, too." "Who's she?" "Her uncle's an old friend of mine." "Roll onto your back, nice and slow." "I'm sorry." "Happens to me all the time." "It's nothing I haven't seen before, so don't be embarrassed." "Who said I'm embarrassed?" "Easy." "Feels good." " Like that?" " Yeah." "Harder." "Oh, God!" "Yeah." "Yeah, faster." "Come on." "So thanks." "Can I make another appointment for next week?" "I don't think that's such a good idea." "Okay." "I don't think I can see you again." "Well, thanks again." "Take care." "I know your brother doesn't want me to, but I have to see him." "I really don't think you should put yourself through that before the service." "There's been no restoration." "Seeing him like this could make it that much worse." "I spent over half of my life with that man." "I slept with him every night for 20 years." "Please just let me see him." "I have to see him once more." "I want to see him." "All right." "Look at you now, you fucking pig!" "I'm glad you're dead!" "I'm fucking glad!" "And I hope it hurt like hell!" "He can't hit me anymore... can he?" "Thank you." "I could really love you, David Fisher." "Not quite the response I was hoping for." " I can't say I'm entirely surprised." " I'm sorry." "I'm really sorry." "I like you a lot, Ben." "But?" "But I'm in love with someone else." "I see." "And when exactly were you planning on telling me this?" "It's not that I haven't enjoyed being with you." "You're a great guy." "You're a catch, and he's not even available." "I don't want to lie to you." "I just thought it would be a good idea for me... to get involved with someone else, you know, healthy." "Great." "So next you'll be saying you just want to be friends." "Well, now I know why you never wanted to introduce me to your family." "Organic herbs and spices from the Farmers Market." " Is Claire here?" " No, I don't know where she is." "If I'm going to avoid traffic, I'm going to have to miss her." "Damn." "Tell her this is for her knowledge corner." "She'll know what to do." "I'm sure she'll appreciate that." "Okay, Ruth, what the hell is going on?" "What's going on?" "You waltz in here after 20 years... insulting my cooking, getting drunk with my boyfriend... filling my daughter's head with all kinds of ideas... and reminding my sons of traumatic events in their lives." "Jesus Christ, the boy was gonna lose his virginity sooner or later." "And Fiona is a great woman." "Very compassionate..." "He was molested!" "He was a horny 15-year-old who couldn't believe his good luck." "I shouldn't be surprised you won't take any responsibility." "You never have." "Okay, that's what this is about." "When mother died, someone had to step up." "Someone had to take care of Nanny, but you just did as you pleased." "You never let anybody help you." "God forbid anything should interfere with you feeling sorry for yourself!" "If that's what you need to believe to justify your own selfishness..." "What do you want me to say, Ruth?" "I want you to apologize." "Fine." "I apologize!" "Does that make it any better?" "No, because you had more fun than I did!" "Fun?" "The only man I ever loved... died when I was 21." "The children I so desperately wanted were impossible... because my ovaries are dry as stone." "And I'm a terrible artist... but I surround myself with people... who have talent that I will never realize." "It's all hard, Ruth." "We just made different choices." "I'm sorry." "I didn't know about the ovaries." "It's fine." "I'm sorry about Nathaniel." "Thank you." "I got your flowers a couple of months later." "I was in Peru." "Let me finish mopping." " How's the writing?" " Good, really good." "Somebody had a good day." "It's just this woman... who was screaming at the mangled body of her dead husband who used to beat her." "Can you imagine hating someone that much and staying with them for 20 years?" "What makes you think people stay together because it makes them happy?" "Promise me... if things ever start to go nutso, or you ever hate me... that we'll deal with it." "We won't just cover it up?" "Don't worry, I'll be long gone before you can hate me." "I don't think I could ever hate you." "Besides, we know what we're doing here." "Absolutely." "So what did you do today?" "Not much." "A client." "What do you think you're doing?" "Releasing your cock from the prison of your pants." " Do you think that's wise?" " Do you want me to stop?" "It's just me." "Are you busy?" "I was just chatting with this friend of mine online." "I found some things I thought you might want." "What things?" "Just some things I've collected over the years." " Are these all mine?" " Yes." "No way." "Oh, my God, it's Blue Pajama Man." "I totally forgot about him." "I kept everything you ever did." "Mom." "Where's Nate?" "He had left home already." "What about Dad?" "He was probably working." "My God." "... following Wall Street's sharp rebound... and boosted by a renewed hope in a government plan... to lift the banking sector out of its doldrums." "In currency trade..." " Hey." " Hi." "Me and my buddy, we just moved in next door." "We were wondering who lives here." "Nice to meet you." "I was just about to get in the shower." "Come on in, I'll be out in a moment." "Nice." " She's hot." " Yeah, you're telling me." "I thought I told you guys to wait in the other room." "We thought you might need some help getting clean." "This is so cool." " Yeah, you like this, don't you?" " Oh, yeah." "Let's move over here." "You're a nasty girl, aren't you?" "You guys are the best neighbors I ever had." "David." "You're all wet." "Were you crying?" "No, it was raining." "And, yes, I was crying." "I love you." "We get just about all the minerals and vitamins that bones need... from things like sunshine." "Didn't I ask you to clean up after yourself?" "Why did you ask for an omelet if you weren't hungry?" "I was, but now my tummy hurts." "Again?" "Girl, you better eat some breakfast." "Maybe I'm full." "Eat half of it and you can watch MTV... or don't eat and go to school hungry, it's your choice." "That's good, bribe her." "Did I ask for your input?" " I gotta go." " Go." "Your car is blocking me in." "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "What's wrong with me?" "I'm taking care of Taylor..." "I don't know where her mother is, I haven't slept in two months... since I shot and killed that man." "I'm sick of your shit." "I'm sick and tired of you taking it all out on me." "This is way more than I signed on for." "I've got an idea." "Find what's yours, and take it when you leave." "Then I'll never have to look at your ass again." "I have a better idea." "I'll go right now." "If you find any of my stuff, you can shove it up your tight white ass." "Who the hell you think you're talking to?" "I know you didn't call my ass white." "My tummy hurts." "The answer is no, I'm sorry." "It's not like it's some stranger." "It's your sister." "It's not like it's Kabul." "It's Topanga, it's not even an hour from here." "You heard what was done to Nate." "I don't think anything was done to him." "In case you haven't hung out with any 15-year-old guys... they're like total hornswogglers." "It was a much more innocent time." "What, the '80s?" "Your brother was a much more innocent boy... to say nothing of what happened to David." "He hiked three miles down the canyon in pitch dark... to get away from those people." "He cut his ear on a bramble." "The answer is no." "Have you thought at all about scaffolding?" "When your house is falling apart, you build scaffolding... to support you while you are doing the work." "And I think a great way to build scaffolding... is to revisit old experiences but try them a new way." "So I'm going out there after school today... and spend the weekend and be back on Sunday." "I haven't even told Justin yet." "He doesn't know his father's dead." "Jewish tradition says we have to bury him tomorrow." "You have had Jewish funerals here before, right?" "Of course." "We decided not to do this in our temple because of the way Jeffrey died." "Jess, if you want, I can do this with Jeffrey's mother." "Fuck it, I can do it." "What do you need to know?" "He killed himself for no reason... while I was at goddamn Gymboree with Tess." "Tess is four." "While I was with her, my husband, Jeffrey Shapiro... who worked for the third best law firm in LA... and was three months away from making partner..." "He came home... on his lunch break and he hung himself... with his pants around his ankles in our goddamn sunroom." "There's your fucking eulogy." "Can you say that in Hebrew?" "So you'll be conducting the service, Rabbi?" "I love my new place." "You have to come see it." "It's a condo, but it's like a hotel, too." "It's got a concierge and a bidet." "Get me one of those jumbo beers on the side as well." " I'll share it with her." " Get your own." "Make it two, thanks." "To living alone, finally." "To bidets." "And to starting over, with us, sweetheart." "I think I was under much more emotional pressure than I ever realized." "And I'm actually so sorry for those awful things I said to you." "Thank you." "Aren't you sorry for hitting me?" "Yes, that was insane of me, but..." "No buts, Brenda." "Just be sorry." "I know it was probably my fault, but I don't want to know why." "So, now the headline." "That whore has moved in with your father." "Dad's seeing a whore?" "The Whore of Tranquility Spa, Brenda." "Has your father said anything to you about her?" "What's in it for her, money?" "I know she's not in it for sex." "Your father's not what he used to be after years of Paxil..." "Okay, that'll be fine, Mom." "All right, then." "Let's talk about you." "You sure you want to lose the focus just yet?" "Come on now, what's up in your world?" "Nate and I are getting married." "Is he smart enough for you?" "Does he have what it takes, up here?" "Like you?" "Like me?" "No, Mom, he's not like us." "He doesn't think so hard he wants to put a staple gun to his forehead." "I get it." "He's uncomplicated." "I've been with a man or three like that." "But Bern always had me because I knew he was much smarter than I am." "That's why it's still so hot with us, all these years later." "And we're back." "I'm sorry." "So, how did he propose?" "I asked him." "You didn't." "Yeah, I know, it's really funny." "It's almost as funny as the notion of you trying to build a life on your own." "I don't see how he could kill himself when he's got three kids." " I don't think he meant to." " He hung himself." "I talked to the Quincy down at the morgue... and he says that the cops said there was a porno playing in the VCR." " And they found a bottle of Astroglide." " What's Astroglide?" "It's lube." "Lubrication." "For sex." " Thank you, David." " No problemo." "Wait a minute, I know about this." "He was doing autoerotic asphyxiation..." " like the guy in that band?" " You got it." "See, you cut off the air supply... and that heightens the stimulation in the ensuing orgasm." "Here's the giveaway:" "They found a lemon wedge on the floor." "You keep the lemon in your mouth... and at the moment of climax... you bite down on it to wake you up, so you don't die." "See, the lemon was lying on the floor, untouched." "I'm calling to let you know that Eddie and I broke up." "I'm so sorry." "Are you okay?" "I broke it off with him." "All right, then." "Thank you for telling me, I'm going to go now." "So, there's this part in my book... where the main character meets a high-class hooker." "Is this fiction, or nonfiction?" "It's still kind of working itself out." "There's definitely someone based on you." " Part of her is you." " Excellent." "As long as she doesn't get raped and murdered to pay for her sins." "I'm so sick of that tired old story." "She's way beyond conventional morality." "I can't wait to read it." "I jerked off a client the other day." " I didn't know you did release." " No, I don't." "He didn't ask me to." "So, I'm sure you can imagine sometimes the guy gets a hard-on." "Normally I just ignore it." "So what, was this guy just exceptionally hot?" "No, not even." "So I'm giving the guy a massage... he flips over, there's this hard-on." "It was kind of huge, but you'd never guess by looking at the guy." "I could tell that he wanted me to touch it." "I thought, well, I would be crossing a line." "And then I did." "I crossed a line." "You are hilarious." "I mean, what is that?" "Am I trying to be you or something?" "I don't know." "How'd you feel afterwards?" "I was weirdly kind of inspired." "I wrote this really cool chapter about it." " As long as it's all for your art." " Yeah." "Aunt Sarah, hi!" "Baby, is everything okay?" "I thought we said a "probably-maybe" about next weekend." "But this weekend is fine, it's just fine." "I thought it was this weekend." "I'm totally cool to go home and come back whenever." "You're here, and you're mine." "I have to believe the universe sent you." "It's our annual Howl weekend." " Allen Ginsburg Howl?" " Yes." "So you're down." "Wonderful." "He was a dear friend." "We once shared a flat in Berlin... until I got fed up with the parade of Aryan starfucker boys." "I'm going to summon his energy this weekend." "I'm expecting some visitors." "A wonderful poet named Basil... and the painter Fiona Kleinschmidt, have you heard of her?" "A couple of freaks and some nasty hippies from my druggie days." "It's going to be a riot." "Sure you don't want me to come back later?" "Wouldn't hear of it." "I'll show you to your sleeping nook." "I love that bag." " Why did you do that to me?" " Do what?" "That." "Just calling me and telling me that." "Hold on a second." "Mom, I'm on the phone." "Are you going to have supper?" "I'm making pork chops." "No, Mom, I won't be having dinner with you." "Sorry." "What do you want?" "You called me." "I was calling to find out why you called me to tell me you guys broke up." "You're my friend." "I thought you'd want to know what happens in my life." "A month ago you didn't think we should see each other anymore." "Things change." "Just what exactly is your agenda?" " I don't have an agenda, okay?" " Yeah, right." " Wonderful." " Great." "Thank you for sharing." "Shut up, just keep it shut." "I was just eating." "I spent most of the '90s thinking that stripping was goddess work... but I've come around to my original position which is that it's just plain cheap." "I've always been astonished at some of that pole work." "I once saw this woman, she could hang upside down from 20 feet in the air." "She looked like an inverted Jesus." "It's the PVC boots." "They make your legs stick to the metal." "No way." "I would totally take my clothes off on stage... at least once, if I didn't harbor a vague feeling of hatred about my body." "You're crazy, you have a beautiful body." "Thank you." "That's Nate." "Listen, the whole prostitute thing..." " he wouldn't be into it." " Whatever." " Hey." " Hi." "Oh, God." "Where'd you get the hummus?" "Sorry, incredibly rude and hungry." "This is Nate, my fiancé." "This is my friend, Melissa." "Cool." "Where'd you guys meet?" "Melissa's a client of mine." "So does Brenda have all your auras aligned?" "Chakras." "Did you note the tone of mocking?" "Have you guys ever heard of autoerotic asphyxiation?" "Cutting off your air supply so you can come harder?" "Sure." "There's a name for it in the fetish community." "It's called breath play." "I read a thing." "We have this guy who died of it... and it's weird because it's definitely suicide... but is it accidental suicide or just plain old suicide?" "He was indulging in something he knew could kill him... but even if it's accidental it's still sort of on purpose, right?" "What do you mean, "this guy we have"?" " Nate's an undertaker." " Funeral director." "Did you note the tone of mocking in that?" "Don't tell me you're a couple that likes to bicker in front of others... until it gets uncomfortable and I have to leave and you guys fuck?" "No." "No, not us." "Okay, you want to know my agenda?" "My agenda is to take you to dinner tomorrow night." "You there?" "If I say yes, what am I agreeing to?" "You and me having dinner, maybe a little conversation, that's all." "Dinner?" "We could make a plan, but it seems a little soon after..." "Would you just shut up and say yes?" "Yes, I would like to have dinner with you tomorrow night." " How you doing, baby?" " Good." "How are you?" "Be careful, Snoopy has an ear infection." "I brought tomatoes from my garden." "But I'm making the sauce, right?" "Do you have fresh pasta or do I make some?" "The Napa contingent can't make it." "Fernando's doing community service, again." "Who are you?" "This is Claire, Ruth's daughter." "I didn't know Ruth had a daughter." "If I remember correctly, you certainly knew she had a son." " How is Ruth?" " How is Nathaniel?" "My mom's great." "My dad is not so great." "He's dead." "Shame." "Hell of a guy, your dad." "So funny, fucking wicked." "I can still see him sitting here at this counter... hunched over his little rolling machine." "He used a rolling machine." "I'm gonna have my cell phone on, in case you need to call me or anything." "Okay, have a good one." " You want another cup of coffee?" " Lf you make it, I'll drink it." "Be really careful when you're taking down this plastic... 'cause of Julio's allergies." " There's tons of dust all through here." " Okay, I got it." "We know, honey." "I'm going to make some breakfast." "Hungry?" "That sounds good." "I moved your circular saw to the porch." "I know, man, I got it." "It's cool." "Honey... listen, if it gets too loud in here... you can take the kids to the park." "You don't have to stay." "Okay, baby, I got it." "Have a good day." "Okay." "Julio, turn that TV down." "There's a spray cleaner that's much more earth friendly." "Maybe I'll order it." "Oh, god damn it!" "Or we can keep using this." "I don't talking to you!" "Are you mad at us?" "Why the grumps, Mr. Cranky Pants?" "Someone's in a real snoot." " I don't think he's feeling well." " I feeling fine." "I can't come to your house for dinner tonight." "I have other obligation." "We planned this three days ago." "I bought aubergines." "I can't." "Stop with all the question, okay?" "I'm not asking you questions." "I haven't asked you any questions." "So, tell... what do you do with aubergines?" "It's a Greek thing, it's like a..." "It's like a lasagna." "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" "Nothing would please me more, muffin." "Star sighting." "I think I just saw that Jewish "Friend" in there." " What, Jennifer Aniston?" " The guy." " Ross." " Right." "I'll be back in a couple hours." " Hey, did you forget to shave?" " I was running late." "Really?" "I'll thank you not to discuss my facial hair any further." "Come here, let me check it out." "Come on." " What time's your date?" " Who said I have a date?" "Tonight." "Dinner." "It's a little soon." "The whole Oops-l-didn't-know-l-was-sexy stubble look... will peak at around noon tomorrow." "Believe me, I've perfected the art." "Can you make it drinks after dinner?" "You'll have more time." " I can't discuss this now." "I'm going out." " Clothes shopping?" " No." " Stay out of Structure." "Augusto's got a little cold... so I'm gonna head home and give Vanessa a little break." "Okay, that's cool." "I'll be right here, then." "You may be seated." "We are here today to mourn the loss of Jeffrey Marc Shapiro." "Talmud says, "Better is one day in this life..." ""than all eternity in the world to come."" ""And if they ask, you answer" ""Damn the high-walled guard towers of right and left" ""Coast to coast, now, here upon a time" ""where leaf shines, shimmers" ""tokes to toasts" ""Fear forever, nevermore"" "And there you have it, the crap of the moment!" "It's not crap." "Look what just arrived." "Hi, Jill!" "Hey, magic mushrooms, special delivery." "Throw them in the sauce." "No, no, sauté them first." "You guys, sauté them first!" "Hey, do you have any of that THC butter in the freezer from last year?" "Hey!" "Fuck!" "What the fuck?" "What the fuck is going on in here?" "Just get out of here, man." "Give me a sec." "Get out of here?" "This is my fucking house, you fucking homo!" "It's nothing." "Just chill, Rico." "Damn!" "Are you out of your fucking mind?" "My kids could have seen that!" "Vanessa!" "She took the kids to the park." "Are you fucking crazy?" "Are you out of your fucking homo mind?" "Get the fuck out of here!" "What the fuck is wrong with you, Ramon?" "Do you have anything to fucking say?" "No, I'm just going to get out of here until you calm the hell down, okay?" "Damn!" "What the fuck?" "What the fucking fuck?" " Rabbi?" " You can call me Ari." "I need to ask you a few questions." "As a funeral director, I want to ask about death from a Jewish point of view." "Sure." "But I warn you, Jews tend to answer questions with more questions." " I'll give you my card." " I mean now." "We're going straight to the cemetery." "You could drive with me." "I'm coming." " Mother." " Baby." "I got this for you." "It doesn't need watering or caring about in any way." "So, Brenda, I had this vision of your wedding at the Hollyhock House." "They're wonderful as long as you bring in your own caterer." "Loulou Smigel's daughter had her wedding there." "Well, actually, I was thinking of somewhere more beautiful and natural." "Oh, God!" "What?" "You know, your father and I got married on the beach... and we ran in the surf afterwards." "Yeah, I know." "You were barefoot, he wore clogs." "I think you're going to have to leave." "I've just got so much coming up right now... and I need to go in my room and sob for an hour." "Look, I could stay." "I'll massage your shoulders." "No, that..." "It doesn't help me right now that you're here." "Sure I can't make you a cup of tea or something?" "I'm sure." "And, Brenda... please don't tell your father that you saw me cry." "Mom, come on, let me help." "I'm not Billy." "If you want to help me, just leave." "Okay." "Every time I get a headache, I'm thinking this could be it." "You must be really scared." "Yeah, I'm going to die." "Yeah, me, too." " Really, what do you have?" " A body." "Okay." "Yeah, we're all going to die... and maybe I'm going to die before everyone else, maybe not." "So what's the Jewish answer to what I'm supposed to do now?" "I don't know what the Jewish answer is." "I know what I try to do." "I try to live my life... every day in a way that honors God." "I don't even know if I believe in God." "Maybe it's time to find Him." " Maybe God's a woman." " Maybe." "There he is now." "Jeffrey Shapiro." "I'll wait here by the car." "Come and watch him be buried." "Jeffrey can't repay you, so it's considered a great mitzvah." "Kindness, love, for its own sake." "Some people call that God." "What I'm saying is, yes, definitely, forgive your mother and father." "I mean, we've all heard that before, but what's become clear... is that my family of origin never really lived in a house." "They lived in this tent city, psychologically." "It's no wonder that my own house never felt remotely like it was built on solid ground..." "Shut up." "Shut the mouth." "It was built on this quicksand of emotional incest..." " if there is such a thing..." " Shutting it now." "Shutting it and stopping it." "But The Plan would call that "old blueprinting"..." "If you say another word, I will stab you in the heart with a fork." "...that's about the size of it." "If there is a God in heaven, He will surely shut your mouth." "You never stop renovating." "Robbie, I have to tell you something now." "I do believe I've learned everything I needed to learn from The Plan... and I no longer feel the urge to speak in building metaphors... or talk about myself or my feelings in this way... any longer." "I don't know what kind of power trip you're on, but it seems cruel, to be honest." "Oh, God, Keith, you poor thing." " You mind checking on her one more time?" " Sure." " Hi." " Hey." " How is she?" " She's in surgery right now." "I guess her appendix was huge, but they got it before it burst... and she's going to be fine." "I'm just waiting." "It's been an hour and a half." "She kept telling me her stomach was hurting... and I thought it was some kind of game." "You can't be perfect all the time, Keith." "That's what life's about:" "Striving for perfection." "And when that fails, accepting ourselves for being imperfect." "Not in my book." " God, you are so self-righteous sometimes." " Yeah, and you are a doormat." "Do I really come off as being a doormat?" " How is she?" " Great." "It went very smoothly." "She's in recovery." "Good." "When can I see her?" "You can wait for her in her room." "When she comes out of her anesthesia, she might be a little weepy." "Don't let it concern you." "Thank you." " Oh, God, don't let her come over here." " No, it's too late." "Beat these gourds!" "No spectators!" "Oh, my God, is there a lock on this thing?" "They use this place as a meditation hut... but it's been my safe-house more times than I care to remember." "What fucking freaks." "Yeah, at least two of them aren't your parents." "I'm their designated driver... every year." "Sorry." "It's better than getting a call from the sheriff... saying your parents are laying in the bottom of Topanga Canyon... and would I like a ride in a helicopter." " We shouldn't be doing this." " Why not?" "Because, you know, like... people are having, like, end-of-the-world sex... and just, I didn't bring condoms..." "Like I would even anyway." "Yeah, right." "No." "No." "I mean, you're quite the fox, I'm happy to report... but, like, I would never just hook up with somebody I just met." "Like, ever." "Seriously?" "Seriously." "I get it." "You're just trying to let me get my guard down... and then, all of a sudden, we're hooking up." "Wrong." "I'm 19, okay, Claire?" "I've had the major life experience to know... it kind of sucks to enter the body of another human being you're not in love with." "Okay, what are you, like, straight-edge, or all Jesusy or just gay?" "None of those things, okay?" "Forget it." "Just lay down here with me." "We won't have sex." "That's all you have to know." "Whatever." "Who said I even wanted you to?" "I promise you, you're gonna be fine." "This is all going to be over soon, and we'll have you back at home." "I'm sorry I got sick." "Baby, it's not your fault." "You kept trying to tell me." "I just wasn't paying attention to you." "In the future, we need to have a code word, okay?" "Okay." "Secret words you can use to let me know when the pain is real... and you're not just playing." "But it was always real." "I know." "Baby, I'm sorry." "I don't know why you guys are depressed." "I haven't gotten laid since September 11... 1985." "You laughed at the wrong part." "I'm just telling you." "What a crowd!" "You drinking NyQuil, ladies?" "Sit up, come on!" "Blonde Jews, everybody!" "Hip crowd!" "Good to see you back in men's clothes, Senator." "All right." "Cousin Stu, right out of rehab." "Good to see you." " The landscaper's here, thank God!" " So what's shiva mean, standup?" "Jeffrey represented a lot of comedians." "There's one part I haven't told you." "I'm engaged." "Well, we couldn't go out anyway." "You're not Jewish." "No, I didn't mean..." "You would go out with me?" "No, I just said I wouldn't." " But it crossed your mind." " I said, I would not." "Well, then, why'd you say it?" "You thought about it." "Come on." "Maybe." "You know, with your whole illness thing..." "I have a bit of a messiah complex... saving the men." "Yes, messiah complex." "You know, you can save me." "If that's what you need to do, you can save me." "It's really good that you have someone." "If anything is going to save you, that will." "Yeah." "I haven't told her about my whole head thing." "How could you not tell your soul mate something like that?" "I don't even know if she's my soul mate." "I get it." "She's not your soul mate but you're going to marry her..." "I don't know what else to do." "...because you have nothing better to do." "Great." "That sounds good." "Hey, I don't even know what a soul mate is, do you?" "The person who makes you be the most "you" that you could possibly be." "Maybe your soul mate... is the person... who forces your soul to grow the most." "Not all growth feels good." "Hey, Melissa, it's Brenda." "I've been driving around for hours." "You want to have a drink or something?" "Call me if you get in tonight, okay?" "Bye." "Whatever." " Like that?" " Oh, yeah." "Are you gonna fuck me?" "Yeah, I'm gonna fuck you." " I'm gonna fuck you hard." " Yeah?" " Harder than you ever been fucked." " Oh, good!" "What's your name?" " Thank you for coming, Mr. Fisher." " Glad to." "Did he want to die?" "Did he want to leave us?" " How could he have wanted that?" " I don't know." "What do you think?" "I don't think he wanted to die." "Nate, leave your clothes on." "I'll get naked." "You can go outside and come back as a dangerous intruder." "Come on, I'm serious." "It'll be fun." "I'll pretend I'm asleep, and then you can come in and have your way with me." "I don't really feel like it, all right?" "Okay, you don't have to go outside." "Just do it from in here." "Hey, I've never seen you before." " What's your name?" " Nate." " My name is Nate." " That's pretty funny." "My fiancé's name is Nate." "I love you so much." "You're so soft, baby." "I love you." "I love you so much." "Harder!" "Come on." "Did the music wake you up?" "No, I've been up for a while actually." "I took a walk in the canyon." " Beautiful, isn't it?" " My God, it's gorgeous!" "We'll have a weekend soon, just you and me, okay?" "You come back when there's not so much craziness." "The craziness was totally fine." "It was fun, actually." "Good." "I love this song." "It's so pretty." "You want a waffle before you go?" "No, thanks." "Well, then, tell everyone I love them and miss them... and want them to get their butts here super soon, okay?" "Especially that mama of yours." "Yeah, right, like she would ever." "I think she hides inside of herself because she's so afraid we'll reject her." "So let's don't, okay?" "She's had enough heartache for one lifetime." " You can keep it, sweetheart." " Thanks." "As soon as I figure out which two are my parents..." "I'm just gonna roll them up in a rug and throw them in my trunk." "Let me know if I can help." "I think I'll start with some coffee." "But give me your number if you're taking off." "Seriously?" "I figured I'd never see you again." "Well, you were wrong." "I'll come into the city." "Okay, I'll write down my number." "So, you get the 8 x 10 and the 24 wallet sizes for under $20." " Pedro is the spitting image of Ramon." " Right?" "And everybody said he looked just like me for the longest time." "Hey, morning, baby!" "Hey!" "Hey, Graciela." "So, Rico, Ramon told me why he's not finishing your house." "He did?" "Yeah, just because he has different taste in tile than you do." "I mean, you could have returned what he bought and got something else." "Yeah, I guess I could have." "I know, girl, it sounds crazy to me, too, but you know how men are." "Se ponen locos with that machismo stuff." "I guess I just really wanted to do my own house myself." "My way." "You know how to do construction?" "You know, I want to learn." "I got some books and..." "That's cool, but just don't hold a grudge, okay?" "I gotta go." "Ramon is watching the kids, and he's going to kill me." " Okay, girl." "Bye." " See you guys later." "Baby, you're such a weirdo sometimes." "Whatever." "Are you even going to ask about my weekend?" "I wasn't planning on it." " I had fun." " I'm glad." "I found some slugs in the garden." "Neat." "I'm gonna go take a nap." "English"