" Bless you." " It's freezing in here." " Look at that green thumb." " I wish." " How's your sinuses?" " Better." "Should be home by 7:00." "Can you call the landscapers again about the sod?" " They gotta get moving on that." " I'll try them again." "Thanks, honey." "Maybe it's the couch." "Great!" "We were thinking... in here." "With the... coming-out part... along the wall?" " Sure." " And I guess come in... through there." "Not through there." " Okay." " Great." "Thanks." "Push." "Four more." "Three." "Two." "Now reach up to the corner." "Nice." "Good stretch, Bev." "Four more." "Three." "Two." "Sasha, here we go." "Let's smile, ladies!" "I just eventually found the whole 12-step thing... was like just another form of addiction." "That's exactly what this book is saying." "It's about how to own your own life." "What he's saying is, we don't really own our own lives." "We're taught what to do and think, but emotionally we're not in charge." "Yeah, but I think that with the exercise... and the diet and healthy foods..." "I just think he's very good at certain things." " Really?" " Oh, yeah." " Have you read him, Carol?" " No." "He's very good on certain things:" "Emotional maintenance... stress management..." "Carol, you do not sweat." "I hate you." "I know." "It's true." "No!" "It's great." " Did you forget?" " No." "It's inside." " I just..." " What?" "Something happened." "Come in." "How old was he?" "Five years older." "He was the oldest of my mom's kids." "It... wasn't..." "That's what everyone keeps..." "Not at all." "Because he wasn't married." "Right." "It's just so unreal." " Did you see the den?" " At your party." "It's gorgeous." "I'm suing the contractor." "Did I tell you?" "You don't even want to know." "Fulvia!" "I'm home!" "Hi, Mother." "What?" "No." "I just walked in the door." "That's all right." "How's your back?" "That's good." "It's not a bad time." "I just..." "All right." "That's fine." "He's fine." "They're fine." "I will." "I will, Mother." "I'll talk to you soon." "Good-bye." "Fulvia!" "Any telefono while I was gone?" "Oh, my God." "Is this what they delivered?" "We did not order black." "This is not what we ordered." "In Sherman Oaks, may I have the number for Nelson's on Riverside?" "I don't believe this." "Thank you." "May I have the delivery depar..." "Thank you." " Mom?" " What, Rory?" "Soccer practice." "Don't forget." " I didn't forget last time." " Whatever." "I gotta go." "It was a mix-up." "Good-bye, honey." "Where is my book?" "My telephone book?" "I put it in the bottom shelf." "Because of the cabinet men." "I see." "Thanks." "Fulvia, could I have some milk?" "... to let a critically- ill patient die." "You're also saying it's all right to hasten that death." "No." "I disagree." "Isn't Elizabeth Bouvier, by starving herself, hastening her own death?" "No, you have to draw a distinction... between steps the doctor can take to actively kill someone..." "Thank you." "You okay, missus?" "Isn't that a pretty thin line you're drawing?" "It's very thin, but it's very important." "It's one thing to remove a machine..." "a respirator or breathing tube." "It's another thing to say, "This life isn't worth much, ; we'll help you die. "" "I'm sorry." "They were in the back." "It's okay." "Thanks." " Oh, that purse is adorable." " Thank you." " How's your little girl?" " She's fine." " She's so cute." " Thank you." " Good-bye." " Good-bye." "No, we wanted teal." "We ordered teal, but we received black." "But your original order shows black." "That's impossible because it doesn't go with anything we have." "All right." "All right, let me try the Sherman Oaks store upstairs." " I'll see what they have in stock." " Thank you." "If I told you the end of the world was coming and you said to me... that you'd get on your knees and pray, I'd say you're in trouble." "Because when I go to bed and pull those covers under my neck..." "I say, 'Jesus, I'll see you in the morning!"" "You do that very well." "I was raised in a fundamentalist church." "I heard this all my life..." "songs about being in God's army..." "I think you've changed the subject." "I see a president who's embattled at the moment... and a president who's really..." "based not on being close to him... but close to people in the press who watch him carefully... as being very pained right now... and certainly a man who wants to make his mark." "I've never heard he's so fundamentalist that he believes the end is nigh." "You and I see that one differently." "Are you married to Marjoe?" "A movement to save the trees." "Some say it goes deeper than that." "Today environmentalists from all over the globe... are adopting a new, more holistic approach to their studies... which they call "deep ecology. "" "Deep ecology goes beyond the traditional scientific framework... to incorporate a greater spiritual awareness of the planet." "Or, as ecophilosopher Parlum Grass puts it..." ""an understanding of the oneness of all life. "" ""I have a feeling we are entering a new time, "Pearcel writes..." ""a period of a different paradigm or model." "Aperiod of learning to run warm and cool, not hot and cold... toward viruses, cells and one another..."" "I started this fruit diet." "I've been so out of it since my brother's funeral." " You ever done one?" " No." "They're supposed to... naturally cleanse the body of all the toxins." "I should do it." "I'm so run down lately." "Really." "Yeah, I've just been really busy." "We have this client dinner coming up, so..." "Right." "Maybe you should try it." "It'd be a lot of fun." "We could do it together." "Come on." "Why don't you just try it?" "Do you know what you want?" "I'll have the fruit salad and the herbal iced tea." "And for you?" "I'll have the same." "I got one." "This beautiful, shapely blonde runs into the emergency room... and when they ask her what's wrong, she says..." ""It's kind of embarrassing, but I was using my vibrator and it got stuck." "I can't get it out."" "So they admit her and rush her to the operating room." "They get some specialist to perform the surgery; it's a ten-hour ordeal." "Finally she wakes up the next day... and the specialist walks in and says, "I got good news and bad news." "The bad news is, we did everything we could... we tried everything, but we just couldn't get the darn thing out." "But the good news is... we were able to change the batteries."" "Somebody doesn't seem to like your jokes, Ted." "Excuse me." "I don't..." "Sorry." "I'm so sorry, Greg." "You're overexerted, I guess." "I've never..." "Maybe the doctor can give you something for it." "I really don't see anything wrong with you, Carol." "I mean, outside of a slight rash and some congestion." "I'll give you some ointment... and some decongestant, but..." "I don't know what else to do." "Are you... well, what?" "I guess I'm just a little stressed out lately... and just tired from it." "Well, that's not uncommon." "Are you doing drugs?" "I don't take drugs or drink." "I don't even..." "like coffee very much." "I'm just a total "milkaholic," actually." "I mean, before the fruit thing." "Well, stop the fruit diet." "You need protein." "And while you're at it... try staying off dairy." "Dairy's very hard on your digestion and hard on your intestines." "I'll see you in a couple weeks." "You'll be fine." "Thanks." ""In the '80s there are more gangs in Los Angeles... plus many more stabbings and shootings by AK-47 s..." "Uzis and Mac-10s... killing numerous innocent people." "L.A. was the gang capital of America." "Rapes, riots, shooting innocent people... slashing throats, arms and legs being dissected... were all common sights in the black ghettos of L.A." "Today black and chicano gangs are coming into the Valleys... in mostly white areas more and more." "That's why gangs in L.A. Are a big American issue."" "Good job, Rory." " Why does it have to be so gory?" " Gory?" "That's how it really is." "God." " You want some coffee?" " I'd love some." "So, what did Hubbard have to say?" "He just said I should... slow down a little, you know... stop the fruit diet, eat less dairy." "That's what I said." "I knew that whole fruit thing didn't make any sense." "But basically... there's nothing to worry about... aside from being a little run-down." "That's good." "So..." "Dad, how do you spell " Uzi"?" "Just how it sounds." "U-Z-I." " We doing a regular cut today?" " Yeah." "Actually I was thinking of trying a perm for a change." "Perming it." "Liz didn't tell me you scheduled a perm." "No, I didn't schedule one." "I just now thought of trying it." "Unless..." "No, no, there's time, actually." "I had a cancellation." "You still want that manicure?" "Sure." "Thanks." "It's very cute on you." "Looks nice." "Oh, my God." "Paula, do you have a Kleenex?" "Oh, my God." "So we meet him for lunch, Cosford, Ted and I." "And who comes in but this kid in shorts." "He looked like he was aboutJonas' age." "Couldn't believe it." "Ted said I looked like I'd seen a ghost." "I like what they did with your hair." "It's great." "I like it." "I'm glad, honey." "Sexy." "How you feeling?" "I still have this... this head thing." "Oh, boy." " Carol, what is going on here?" " Nothing." "Nobody has a fucking headache every night of the fucking week." " I must have a touch of something..." " I don't want to hear about it." "I'm sorry, I..." "I know it's not normal, but..." "I can't help it." "Good night." " 59 degrees in Hollywood." " Traffic on KNX every six minutes." " Here's John Engel." " It's been a rough morning." "You need patience on the Southland freeways, starting with that downpour." "Had a lot of rain this morning." "Hope you brought camping gear for that Ventura westbound transition... to the Golden State southbound." "Non- injury accident in the left lane." "You're stopped at Pacific all the way to Sherman Oaks." "I'm sorry, honey." "Me too." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's all right." "Jesus, honey..." "Take a deep breath and hold." "Release." "Again." "Release." "Again." " Greg, how are you?" " Good." "And you?" "I'm okay." "Have a seat, guys." "Basically, Carol, you are perfectly healthy." "If anything your condition has slightly improved since your last visit." "This is just a suggestion... but you might want to consult someone." "And I know a very good doctor... who's more suited to stress-related conditions... which I think this is." " A psychiatrist?" " Yeah." " Everything all right, ma'am?" " What?" "Yeah." "What are you doing, honey?" "I couldn't sleep." "The air." "The..." "The smell." "Clap." "Slow it down." "And bring the knee up." "Pull." "Keep those knees up." "Tummy in." "Exhale." "Push it out." "Here we go." "And right." "Push left." "Right." "Four more." "Three." "Good." "Scoop to the right." "Good." "Keep that leg up there." " Are you okay?" " Yeah, I just have to get somewhere." "Oh." "I'll see you at Barbara's Sunday?" " See you Sunday." " Okay." "Good-bye." "" Do you smell fumes?" "Are you allergic to the 20th century?" "Do you have trouble breathing?" "Are you always tired?"" "Do you work?" "Do you work?" "No, I'm a house..." "I'm a homemaker." "I'm working on some designs for our house, though... in my spare time." "You have one child." "My husband's little boy." "He's not my son." "He's my stepson." "Rory." "He's ten." "How long have you been feeling... unwell?" "About... two months." "Three." "I've been under a lot of stress lately... and then my friend Linda and I..." "She's probably my best friend." "She lives down the..." "Anyway... we started this fruit diet together." "I think that sort of set it off." "So..." " Are you uncomfortable?" " No." "I..." "I just thought..." "I mean..." "Aren't you supposed to ask more questions?" "Well... no." "We really need to be hearing from you." "What's going on... in you?" " That's so cute!" " Isn't it?" " That's so cute!" " Isn't it?" "I love that little bunny." "I wonder what it could be." "A baby book!" "Oh, that's beautiful!" "You don't have one?" " I'm so glad." " I love it." "It's perfect." "If you need to take it back, I won't be offended." "Oh, no, I really love it." "You should see my baby book." "It's this disgusting puke orange." " That's very appetizing, Barbara." " I'm serious." "My turn." "Linda, thank you." "I hope you like it." "That's so pretty." "Did you wrap that yourself?" "Oh!" "Are you kidding?" "I wish I were that creative." "I've seen you wrap things." "I can't even draw a straight line." " Oh, I love this!" " Do you?" " It's a mobile." " It'll look great with her crib." "Hands up." "Who wants decaf?" "Herbal tea?" "Real coffee?" " Barbara?" " Yeah, honey." "Where's your bathroom?" "Off the entrance hall to your right." "Mommy!" "I heard you, Elyse!" "I don't know what you should draw now!" "Let Mommy have some grown-up time with the other mommies." "Someone told me they heard she was seeing a shrink." "I just thought you might have..." "No." "I didn't even know that..." " Is something wrong with Carol?" " No." "You were just..." "Because her skin looks..." "Her hair looks cute but..." "Elyse, your ice cream is melting and Mommy is very busy!" " Did you get some?" " No." " Do you want some?" " No." "Carol, this is yours." "You have to eat it immediately because it's melting all over." "I shouldn't." " What is that, honey?" " My coloring book." "Can I see?" "She's gotten so big." "Barbara, this is delicious." "We haven't really talked lately." "How you doing?" "Good." "I've just been a little..." " Look." "It's you." " Oh." "Yeah." "Under the weather." " Look, she's a princess." " That's very good." "It's very realistic." "We're now opening the big present." "Please come in." "Okay." "Here we come." "Elyse, let's go look at the big present, okay?" " Want to sit on my lap?" " Yeah." "Look at this fancy wrapping." "You guys did too much." " Come on, don't be polite." " I'm trying." "A stroller!" "That's exactly the one I wanted!" "The wheels are inside." "They go on really easily." "Even you can do it." "Mommy." "Carol?" "You all right?" " What's going on?" " I don't know." "Oh, my God." "Linda, what happened?" "She can't breathe." "Eileen, call her house." "Someone should call her doctor." " Jennifer, get some water, please." " Just try to relax." "Okay?" " Calm down." " It's okay." "It's all going to be fine." "Just relax." ""My name is Carol White... and I live in Southern California." "I saw your notice at the health club near my house... and decided to write and tell you a little bit about myself." "For some time now I have not been feeling up to par... and was hoping your organization might be of some help." "I'm originally from Texas... although I've lived in the L.A. area most of my life." "I had asthma as a child... but it never got in the way of school or recreation." "I've always thought of myself as having a pretty normal upbringing... and as basically a healthy person." "But for the last several months that has all started to change." "Suddenly I find myself feeling sick..."" "Honey, I've been calling you." "I thought you were asleep." "Someone..." "Brenda called about trading Thursday carpool for Saturday." "She said you'd know what that was about." "She said she'd call you back." "I thought you were asleep because you weren't..." "What are you doing?" "I was writing this..." "I don't even know." "Oh, God, what is this?" "What?" "Where am I... right now?" "We're in our house." "Greg and Carol's house." "Who are you?" "You are of all ages and from all walks of life." "But you find you all have one thing in common: ;" "strange, never- ending ailments." "Suddenly you can't cook dinner anymore... because the smell of the gas from your stove makes you ill." "Or if you take the freeway you feel as if you might choke on the fumes." "Your family and friends tell you that you're overreacting... that it's all in your head." "But your symptoms worsen." "Fatigue and depression turn to migraines... blackouts, even seizures." "Now, if this sounds familiar... you're not alone." "What you most likely are... is one of a vastly growing number of people who suffer... from environmental illness." "That means that, for reasons not yet known to us... certain people's natural tolerance to everyday substances is breaking down... usually as a result of some kind of chemical exposure." "Today there are 60,000 chemicals in everyday use... yet only ten percent are tested for human toxicity." " "Are you allergic to the 20th century?"" " A disease caught from your environment." "Fulvia!" "Greg?" "Carol?" " You scared me." " Sorry." " No, I'm sorry." " I just took Fulvia down." " Did you just get home?" " Yeah." " So, how did it go?" " What?" "Your meeting this morning." "What was it about?" "It was about getting sick on fumes and bug sprays and stuff." "You mean, on... pollution?" "More about people who get sick from chemicals, and what they do to you." " Who told you to go to this?" " No, I just..." "I saw a flyer at the health club." "So you think this is what's made you... why you've been sick?" "Because of... bug spray?" "No, I..." "I just..." "I don't know why." "Okay, that's milk at.01 of three." "Usually there's a trigger... new carpeting, new kitchen, new car... somebody works around paint fumes or strong fragrances." "Okay, no reaction." " Please prepare..." " .01 of two." "Right." "Then one day it hits you." "Suddenly your body reacts to everything around you like a Geiger counter... food, air, everything." " .01 of two, milk." " Thank you." "What we're doing now is testing about 50 separate foods and molds... to determine what your neutralization doses will consist of." "And then they'll..." "they'll stop it?" "Uh, no." "Arm, please." "Neutralization-provocation aids you during your cleaning-up process... but that's all it is:" "An aid." "This'll sting just a little bit." "Dr. Reynolds, call for you on 8." "Dr. Reynolds, Eric Delaney on 8." "Okay, that's milk at.01 of two." "Excuse me." "You okay?" "Eric, Dr. Reynolds." "What's up?" "Right." "If your oasis and twice-a-week injections don't simmer you down... you know you have other sensitivities, most likely molds or fungus." "Continue the rare fruit diet." "If you don't get better have Dr. Baines check into... an unresolved, controlled Candida problem." " Dr. Reynolds, she's reacting." " I have to go." "Prepare a neutralizing dose at.01 of three." "This will cease momentarily." "I apologize for any discomfort." "Be sure to record pulse rate change following injection." " .01 of three milligrams." " Thank you." "Okay, we have palpitations with deep distress... in conjunction with a racing pulse rate of 104." "There's flushing and some wheezing." "Swelling in the mouth." "This is a big one, Carol." "Milk's a big one." "Have some water." "We can turn it on and off like a switch." "We just don't know how to make it go away." "The first thing you need to do in order to clear..." "The first thing you need to do in order to clear... is create an oasis in which to live." "Your oasis is your safe place." "Your toxic-free zone... where your load has been significantly reduced." "For some that can mean an airtight, porcelain-lined enclosure... something like a refrigerator." "For others, their safe room... is just a stripped-down room within their house... that's conducive to good ventilation... or air control." "My name is Sarah Pinter." "I live near a fumigation company." "We're suing the company for improper handling of their chemicals." "Great." "Thank you." "Yes." "Would you stand, please?" "My name is Abigail Cartier-Rousseau." "My sensitivity originated with fragrances." "I was employed for 23 years." "I've been spending some time at the retreat in Wrenwood... so I'm doing much better." "Great." "Terrific." "Thank you." "And you, ma'am?" "My name's Carol White." "This is my husband Greg." "We live in the San Fernando Valley." "We're here for my wife, who's been ill... to learn more information and hopefully gain from it as well." "I hope so too." "My doctor thinks I'm nuts." "He thinks the whole thing is completely in my head." "That's what my husband still thinks." "It is in your head." "It's in all our heads." " What do you mean, Helen?" " It makes you crazy." "She's right." "It ends up in your head because it affects the neurological." "And it will make you depressed." "It really will." "How does a five-year-old say it's psychosomatic?" "How does he make his eyes swell shut?" "I mean, why would he want to do that?" "He can't go into Chunky Cheese anymore;" "he can't go into show business." "Why would he do that to himself?" "It's true; you'll go into a building, be walking along the hall..." "You don't know when that monster is going to jump out at you." "You're just going along the wall like any normal person." "Right." "With your mask and oxygen tank and your bottled water." "At first I didn't understand why citrus... since I had tested negative for citrus." "Then I remembered how the oranges had rolled out of their plastic... into the bag with Greg's papers." "Newspapers..." "The ink..." " Really?" " Also..." "Yeah." "That and..." "You know our beautiful new couch?" " Yeah." " Totally toxic." "Really." "Wow." "I know." "So..." "It's hard." " I can't wear makeup anymore." " God!" "Burns my eyes." "I get sick." "Well, I guess one good thing... is how it's made you so much more knowledgeable... on food and chemicals and everything." "That's true." "They know much more about it there, the people who go through this." "I mean..." "So much of it, too, is that we were raised in a chemical place." "When you go into a grocery store... and you grab a chemical without reading, without investigating..." "Sorry." "But, anyway, it's made me... more aware than I used to be." " You know what I mean?" " Yeah." "Next up, the load." "What is it, why is it... and what can be done to improve it?" "First, what is your total load?" "Well, in the chemical- laden world in which we live... impurities are all around." "Everyone must deal with a certain amount of impurities and toxins... at any given time, and that's your load." "It's the maximum amount of toxins... your body can tolerate... which, for most people, is rather large." "But a chemically sensitive person is not able to carry a normal load." "What we have to do is unload." "This means we go back to zero... and starting from scratch, substance by substance... we build the load back up." "Remember, the goal is to get clear." "And so the safest and quickest way to clear... is to fast." "Fasting can last up to five days, depending on the individual... and is usually followed by the rotation diet... or the rare foods diet... both of which help protect the system... while reintroducing foods back into it." "Whatever diet you choose... be sure to omit mold antigen containing foods... like bread, cheese, alcohol... ketchup, vinegar, mayonnaise... mustard, coffee or chocolate." "Molds are very hard on the immune system... whether you're environmentally ill or not." "Throughout your unloading process... be sure to have adjusted your living conditions accordingly." "Safe bodies need safe environments in which to live... and there are healthy alternatives that exist... forjust about every toxic product... gas or ventilation system out there." "But it's up to you to find them." "I'm sorry." "We're spraying right now." "Oh, my God!" "Carol, you're doing fine." "Hang in there." "You need to concentrate." "Keep your head to the side, Carol." "Keep with us, Carol." "Keep your head to the side." "No unusual foods, no medication." " Emotional strain?" " No." "Can you think of anything else that might be causing it?" "What you're saying, Carol, is that this is based... solely on the pesticide and nothing else." "I have a chemical impairment..." "I realize that, but it's not turning up on the tests." "Please don't do that!" "Nurse, don't spray that here." "Thanks." "Look, Carol, from a medical standpoint... there's no way to prove this thing is an immune system breakdown... much less one based on environmental factors." "Now, if your psychiatrist can't provide..." "Think, honey." "What gave you the bloody lip?" "What would cause you to actually bleed?" "I don't know." "The chemicals." "Well, things just started tumbling down on top of me." "It is a real problem." "More people are becoming aware." "More and more people are becoming sick from chemicals." "Nestled in the foothills of Albuquerque... the Wrenwood Center describes itself... as a nonprofit, communal settlement... dedicated to the healing individual." "Offering the services of a health retreat and community center..." " Wrenwood consists of 200 residents..." " Greg?" " visitors and staff who suffer..." " Greg!" " from chemical sensitivity..." " Listen." "This thing's on." "Including its founder, author Peter Dunning." "Environmental illness is one of a cluster of new immune disorders... such as Epstein" " Barr syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome... and, of course, AIDS... which continue to elude conventional medicine." "At Wrenwood, we offer an alternative." "I like to think of us as a safe haven for troubled times." "We're the most extensive cooperative treatment residency of our kind." " What makes us really unique..." " I think I... is our emphasis on the individual." "I heard about this place from somewhere." "... warning us of a disease- ridden future?" "If so, the Wrenwood Center is certainly ahead of its time." "People come for all different reasons." "The thing we all have in common is why." "Why did we all get sick to begin with?" "What is it called?" "Wrenwood." "It's right in here." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Not allowed!" "Go back!" " Not allowed!" " What's she going on about?" "Wait." "You better stop." "Stop!" "Go back!" "You're contaminating this entire area!" "How much do I owe you?" "I see you." "Excuse me!" " Excuse me." "Are you Carol?" " Yes." "Hi." "I'm Susan." "I work with Claire." " We've spoken on the phone." " Hi." "We're so glad you made it." "I heard Nell making a ruckus." "I thought it was your car." " I hope she wasn't too..." " Oh, no." "She's been having a rough time." "Her husband's very sick." "She's just..." "That's okay." "Well, let me help you with your things." "I'll take this one." "Thanks." "This is a chemical-free zone." "We have reading boxes... safe TV... and there's a 911 phone in case of medical emergency." "Right." "We're sorry your husband wasn't able to join you." "I know." "He's in the middle of all this business." "They should be here soon, though." "He and our son." " I should call them, actually." " Sure." " There's a phone inside the center." " Great." "We acquired the center in 1978." "We've been battling to keep it ever since." "Basically this... is where all group convening... takes place." "We have all our workshops... and our evening talks... that sort of thing here." "The dining room is right across the way." " The other side of the street." " Oh, hi!" "You must be Carol." "Carol, this is Claire, our director." "Hi." "Welcome to Wrenwood." "How was your trip?" "You're just wiped out." "There's nothing more debilitating than travel." "Claire was hypersensitive when she first came to Wrenwood." "Now I'm just semi-hypersensitive like the rest of the world." "I'm a little... from the flight." "I know." "We'll get you checked in and take you to your cabin." "Then you can flop or whatever until dinner." "But I know that there are... quite a few people anxious to meet you." "Thank you." "If you want to leave your bags here and use the pay phones... they are just beyond the chapel." "The little auditorium to the right." "Okay." "Thank you." "Hello?" " Hi." "It's me." " Hi." "Are you there?" " Yeah, I'm here." " Great!" " Is it nice?" " Yeah." " That's great, honey." " Yeah." "You know, we'll see." "Did you forget anything?" "No, I just thought I'd call, tell you I was here." "I'm glad you caught me." "We were about to eat." "Oh, go ahead." " I'm sorry." " No, I'm glad." "I'm glad it's nice there." "That's great." "Look, you just relax... and take care of yourself, get well quick... and we'll come see you in a couple of weeks." "Soon as I reach deadline on this." "Okay, babe?" "Okay." " Love you." " I love you too, honey." " Say hi to Rory." " I will." "And we'll talk again real soon." " Okay?" " Okay." " Bye-bye, sweetie." " Bye." "Night." "I want to welcome all newcomers... all short" " And long-term visitors... all short" " And long-term visitors... and extend our warmest support... for the acceleration of your healing process." "So that you can relax and receive the full benefit of your stay... we ask that you observe community wishes in the following ways:" "Silent meals are observed at breakfast and lunch... with a side of the room for men and a side of the room for women." "We ask you to refrain from smoking, drinking and use of drugs... while on the premises." "We ask that you respect our practice of moderation in dress... and restraint in sexual interaction." "Instead, we ask that you try... to focus these feelings inward... toward your personal growth and self-realization." "End of speech." "Welcome, everybody." "Especially our long-termers, Carol and Ward." "Now, with no further ado..." "I give you our own Peter Dunning." " You like this shirt?" " Are you familiar with his books?" " I don't think so." " They're so wonderful." "I'll lend you some." "Peter is a chemically sensitive person with Al DS." "His perspective is incredibly vast." " My deepest welcome to Carol and Wade." " Ward!" "Ward." "Welcome to Wrenwood." "If you'd all close your eyes... and pass your valuables to the front." "No, no." "Come on!" "Not really." "Okay." "We're feeling good, huh?" "We're feeling warmth." "We can look into each other's eyes... and actually see rejuvenation... and personal transformation happening." "Why?" "Because we've left the judgmental behind." "And with it... the shaming condition that kept us locked up in all the pain." "But what I want to share with you tonight... what I want to give you tonight... is an image to reflect on." "An image of a world outside... as positive... and as free... as the world we've created here." "Because when you look out on the world... from a place of love... and a place of forgiveness... what you are seeing outside... is a reflection of what you feel within." "Does that make sense?" "What do I see outside me?" "I see the growth of environmentalism." "Right?" "And holistic study." "I see a decline in drugs and promiscuity." "I see sensitivity training in the work place!" "And the men's movement." "And multiculturalism." "I see all these positive things outside in the world... because what I'm seeing is a global transformation... identical to the transformation..." "I revel at within." "And with that... we are one with the power that created us." "We are safe... and all is well in our world." "Kind friends, all gathered 'round" "There's something I would say" "That what brings us together here" "Has blessed us all today" "Love has made a circle" "That holds us all inside" "Where strangers are as family" "And loneliness can't hide" "So give yourself to love" "If love is what you're after" "Open up your hearts to" "The tears and laughter and" "Give yourself to love" "Give yourself to love" "Carol?" "I'm sorry." "Are you having a reaction?" "No, I'm fine." "It's okay." "Just breathe." "That's right." "Good." "That's good." "You're okay." "Oh, Carol." "You know something?" "All these feelings you're having... are just fine." "They're so natural." "I mean, you've just done something so big." "You know, something... many people never do in their lifetime." "You've taken this big step... on your own behalf." "You've left behind... everything that's known and secure... and all the people you love and trust." "And you've come to this strange new place... with strange new people." "It's completely understandable... that you might feel lonely... or fearful or even angry." "You know... when I first came here, I couldn't even walk." "I'd been living six miles from this chemical factory... this was in Michigan... that was leaking... 15 gallons of chemical by-products every day." "When I got here, all I could do was sit in my safe room... and every day... every hour of every day..." "I would look at myself in the mirror... and I would say to myself..." ""Claire..." "I love you." "I really love you."" "At the end of the month, I could leave my room... and shortly thereafter..." "I was walking." "For me... this whole thing was a gift... because everything got taken away from me." "I mean... everything in the material world." "And what was left... was me." "Thank you, Claire." "Are you better?" "You'll do fine." "Sweet dreams." " Good night." " Good night." "Forever and ever" "You're right where I found..." "Sweet love showing us..." "Never seen such a beautiful..." ""Dear Greg and Rory..." "How are you guys?" "I hope everything is going good." "I really miss you." "I'm feeling better so I decided to stay the full amount." "At first it was hard to get used to." "But now I really think it's starting to help." "I've been so much more relaxed and eating healthfully." "And the desert landscape is really beautiful here." "I can't wait until the 25th to show you around... and introduce you to everyone." "Give my love to Sally and your mother and Linda." "Be sure and help your dad, Rory." "Love and kisses, Carol. "" "Is that Lester you're watching?" "Sorry." "I didn't mean to startle you." "It's fine." "I was just watching him go by." "Why does he..." "Lester is just... very, very afraid." "Afraid to eat, afraid to breathe." "Let's talk about you." "I heard you weren't feeling well." "It was just a little... shortness of breath and some dizziness." "I noticed the highway near here." "I wondered if my cabin room... was a little downwind or something." "I thought that if I tried another cabin..." "Claire is the best person to speak to about that." " Claire is?" " She's really the one." "I remember Claire sharing with me... some concern over you." "That you'd been feeling some remorse." "Maybe some apprehension." " I was just..." " All I'm saying... is that these feelings you're having are extremely common." "Especially in relation to new environments." "Especially for someone who is environmentally ill, okay?" "What we're about is trying to help absorb... as many of these tensions as we can... so you're free to do the kind of healing... that you need to be doing." "Does that make any sense?" "Because when that's accomplished, I'm doing my job." "No, I know." "I'm just still learning... you know, the words." "The words are... just a way to get to what's true." " Right?" "See the coyote?" " Where?" "" Duty Sign-Up Sundays Sharing Meal"" " Is that all right?" " Sure." "I need a partner." "Great." " We have to decide what to cook." " Right." "All right, well..." "I'll think about what to cook." "Me too." "Bye." "She had all these different... candies and stuff... she'd keep in there." "She used to let me open the clasp and look inside the purse... and close the clasp." "I'll never forget that purse." "Okay." "Now speaker number two... describe to your friend... a room you remember having as a child." "God, this is..." "I guess this one I had was... had... yellow wallpaper." "And..." " Oh, my God." " Who's that?" " I think it's Nell's husband." " That looks like Nell's husband." "Today... is another precious day on earth." "So let's throw away... every negative... destructive thought we might have... and look around ourselves with love." "I tried to teach him this." "To give up the rage." "To strive for a quiet mind." "My concern is it sounds like a spiraling down." "If you're feeling more sensitive to the fumes that way... you shouldn't really be outside." "The problem is there aren't any center accommodations... available right now except for cabins and dormitories." "Oh, I'm fine, really." "Oh, except for Harry's." "Harry's?" "Mr. Keene..." "Nell's husband..." "built a safe house." "It's right next to recycling." "That little white igloo." "He lived in that?" "Oh, yeah." "After his stroke, he needed a more controllable space." "So she stayed in the cabin and he lived in the safe house." "He actually improved." "It's ventilated and porcelain-lined... and he was perfectly safe... as long as no one set foot inside." "I don't know what she's planning to do with it." "Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession I'd like to make." "I've stopped reading the papers." "I've stopped watching the news on TV." "I've heard the media gloom and doom... and I've seen their fatalistic, negative attitude... and I finally realized, I don't need it." "And so I transform that negative stimulus... into something that will not do harm to me." "Because if I really believe that life is... that devastating, that destructive..." "I'm afraid that my immune system will believe it too." "And I can't afford to take that risk." "Neither can you." "We are one... with the power that created us." "We are safe... and all is well in our world." "My brother called and Darlene had another girl." "Ohh." "I'll call them tonight." "And Linda called... and said to hurry up and clear or clean or whatever it is..." "Clear." "And come on home." "That's sweet." "So you really feel like it's... still the right choice?" "Yeah, I..." "I do." "I mean... right before the fumes, I was good." "My load was up." "I was eating well." "So..." "What did they say about the fumes?" "Just that I'd probably move to a different cabin somewhere." " Uh-huh." " Where I won't feel them." "Right." "Okay." "I just think it's true what they say." "That it's up to the individual... and that it takes time." "Right." " Whose house is that?" " That's Peter's." " It's gorgeous, isn't it?" " Yeah." " Feel like moving?" " No." "Her husband just passed away." "Come on, Rory." "Now!" "Steve... why did you become sick?" "Well, I became sick... because I just O.D.'d on all the drugs I was doing." "Uh-huh." "Why did you become addicted?" "Well, I guess I became addicted... to, like, blot out the pain... of not liking myself." "Of hating myself, really." "Self-hatred." "Okay." "Thanks, Steve." " Hello, Joyce." " Hi." " How are you?" " I'm okay." "Joyce, what do you think was behind your illness?" "Why did you become sick?" "I believe that I made myself sick... after my son got sick... because I was just..." "You get so eaten up with guilt, really." "Because I felt that I had done it to him." "I was the one who put him in that school." "I put him in that environment." "You were punishing yourself." "Yeah." "Thanks." "Marilyn?" "I was... deeply wounded... as a child... and had completely blocked it out... for years." "And then suddenly became very ill." "Why, do you think?" "Maybe to let myself know something was wrong." "Okay." "And... the person who hurt you the most..." "Was me." "For..." "Not forgiving him." "Okay." "Thank you, Marilyn." "Carol." "Would you like to respond?" "Okay, okay." "We don't want to force anyone." "Nell?" "What?" "Would you like to take part?" "What is the question?" "The question is... why did you become sick?" "First, I got sick, and my husband thought I was crazy." "And then he got sick the same way." "What was happening in your life around the time you first..." "How were you feeling when you first got sick?" "I just wanted to get a gun... and blow off the heads of everyone who got me like this." "Nobody out there made you sick." "You know that." "The only person who can make you get sick is you, right?" "Whatever the sickness, if our immune system is damaged... it's because we have allowed it to be... through exactly the kind of anger you're showing us now." "Does that make sense?" "Does anybody have a problem with that?" "Which is why you need to remember your affirmations... and figure out how to love Nell a lot more." "And even Nell's disease." "And put that gun of yours away." "Sometimes..." "Sometimes all I see is the hatred and frailty... people's cruelty to one another... cruelty to themselves." "And I realize... how lucky I am." "How blessed." " Is that everything?" " I think so." " Rory, be careful." "It's real heavy." " I have it." "Don't talk to your mother in that tone." "Fine." " What time's your flight?" " 7:20." "Rory, make sure all our stuff s in the car and we're ready to go." " Want me to get that?" " I got it." "Whoa." "Watch it." "All right?" "I think it might be your cologne." "Honey, I'm not wearing any cologne." "Maybe in the shirt." "I don't know." "We better get moving if we're gonna catch the plane." "You're going to be okay?" "I'm fine." "It's just for a short time." " I know." " I'll be fine." " Can I hug you?" " Of course." "This other guy didn't know anything was wrong with him either... except that whenever he would go into a mall... he would get totally depressed... start crying really hard... and contemplating suicide." "Then he would step outside and he would be fine... totally normal." "This would happen to him every single time." " God." " Yeah." " You know what they called him?" " What?" "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Formaldehyde." "God." " I'm so gullible." " No, I'm serious." "This really happened." "I always forget if it's pasta, cheese, sauce... cheese, pasta... or pasta, sauce, cheese... pasta, cheese, sauce." "I think it's pasta... pasta, pasta, pasta, cheese..." " Stop it!" " Pasta, sauce." "Suddenly, all I see... all over my hands and legs are... black, horrible sores, all over me." "Oozing." "At first I'm horrified... and I'm full of self-pity and anger." "I'm enraged until I realize..." "Suddenly I look down again and realize... that they aren't sores at all... but these... wilted black pansies that I used to pick when I was a child." "So in my dream, I remember that." "As I pick up each wilted flower... they just instantly bloom... into beautiful bouquets." " Every single one." " Ending in rejoice." " That's remarkable." " Extraordinary." "Incredible lasagna, guys." " Yeah." " Great dinner, both of you." "And, you know, it almost tasted like the real thing." "To Carol and Chris." "Sweet love showing us a heavenly light" "I never seen such a beautiful sight" "Sweet love flowing on us every night" "I know forever we'll be doing it" "Sorry, sorry." "Um, I've got a little announcement to make." "Since it's almost tomorrow... and tomorrow happens to be..." "Carol's birthday... we have a little surprise for her." "For she's a jolly good fellow" "For she's a jolly good fellow" "And so say all of us" "Speech!" " Speech!" " Happy birthday, Carol." " No!" " Happy birthday, sweetie." " Say something." " I've never made a speech." "I want to thank Chris for doing this... and everybody here so much." "It just pulled me through a really hard period." "Anyway, I couldn't have done it without you." "I don't know what I'm saying." "I really hated myself before I came here... so I'm trying to see myself... hopefully, more as I am." "More..." "More positive, like seeing the pluses." "I think it's slowly opening up now." "People's minds, like... educating and, and..." "Al DS and... and other types of diseases... because, because..." "It is a disease because it's out there... and we just have to be more aware of it." "We have to make people aware of it... and, um, even ourselves... like, uh, going... reading labels and going into buildings." "To Carol." "Thank you, Chris." "For everything." "Are you sure you're all right?" "I'm fine, really." "Happy birthday" "Thanks." " See you tomorrow." " For sure." " Good night." " Night." "I love you." "I really love you." "I love you."