"I'm a worrier." "I..." "I know you know that about me, but most people don't." "Professionally, I'm very confident." "But personally..." "I spend a lot of time worrying about what's happening in my life and what isn't happening, what could've happened but didn't." "Does it help?" "I like to think it makes me more prepared." "I don't ever want to be blindsided, and if I'm ready..." "Well..." "It's good to be prepared, and I am..." "Very prepared." "Oh, I want my husband!" "We've called him, he's on his way, but we can't wait." "It's too early." "We're not due for another two weeks." "Well, the baby doesn't know that." "You almost delivered in the car." "B.O.A. Kit." "All right, I need you to give me one more push." "Ready?" "Push." "Good." "Good." "Congratulations." "You have a healthy baby boy." "♪ but I don't seem to care ♪" "♪ about what they say ♪" "Busy morning?" "One breech, one c-section, and one precipitous delivery, and it's not even 9:00 A.M. yet." "You?" "Uh, yeah, yeah." "I got one patient on suicide watch, and another who's claiming he's getting bad investment advice from his cat." "Do you have time for coffee?" "Not really." "I-is everything okay?" "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, Scott and I broke up." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I'm supposed to be sorry, right?" "Oh, I don't know." "I mean, look, Scott's a great guy, but there was no next level, you know?" "I mean, not while I have feelings for Pete." "Okay, did you tell Pete about that?" "I can't." "Violet." "I don't want to make him feel pressured." "Really?" "No." "I'm just not sure what I want to say yet." "Oh, tell me about it." "I'll see you later." "Okay." "Hi, Jake." "Good morning." "Hey." "Listen, I have a-a mother who just delivered." "She's worried about her baby." "I think it's jaundice, but I'd appreciate a consult." "I'm slammed at the moment." "Can it wait till this afternoon?" "Whatever you can spare." "Hey, hey." "It was, uh, really great meeting Angela." "I had no idea you had a stepdaughter." "I do." "Yeah?" "Do you... do you... you get to see her often?" "Not often enough." "I miss her." "But, you know, it's..." "it's cool." "She has a way of reminding me what's important in life." "She seems like a great kid." "Yeah, she thought you were pretty neat, too." "Hey." "We were supposed to go running this morning." "I'm sorry." "I just wasn't feeling up to it." "What happened?" "That's not like you." "I know." "Corinne?" "Yeah, yeah." "But it's a good thing." "They're gonna take way better care of her than I ever could've." "Well, that's true if you just believe it." "So you want to go out and grab a drink tonight?" "Uh, maybe some other time." "It'll be good for you." "It'd be good for me." "Yeah." "Still enjoying the nightlife, H?" "Eh, that's done." "What happened?" "Nothing." "Violet?" "She's with Scott." "No, she's not." "According to the nurses, that's done." "How do you feel today, elise?" "You know, the last time I was here, we didn't get very far, and I was hoping today, you'd like to share a little more." "I know it's painful, but I truly believe that talking about it will help." "You can't help me." "I'd like to try." "You want to know how I feel today?" "The same as every day." "I feel like I'm a monster." "I don't think you're a monster." "I murdered my two children." "What would you call me?" "Hey." "Hey." "I was just about to page you." "I've got about another 15 minutes before I head to the O.R. for a c-section." "Bet I could do an ultrasound." "Oh, uh, yeah." "I'm way behind today." "I'll be quick." "I'll even warm up the gel for you." "Another time." "Amelia..." "You really should do this." "So I can see everything that is wrong with my baby... the horns sticking out of its head..." "Its long corkscrew tail?" "I know that you're freaked out, but part of it is because none of this is real for you yet." "But as soon as you see it on the ultrasound and you hear the heartbeat, it's all gonna change for you." "It's gonna be real." "I'll do it tomorrow, okay?" "All right." "You've got about another five minutes before those baggy sweaters aren't gonna hide that bump." "Hey." "This is a good thing." "Be happy." "Hey." "Good morning." "I'm starving." "Me, too." "Uh, you want to go to the breakfast burrito place down at the pier or..." "It's a school day." "I don't want to be late." "Oh, okay." "I-it's just, I don't want my mom to get mad at me." "Well, she's in the hospital." "I think she'd understand." "Um, I mean, I was thinking, I could play hooky from work, and we could go do something fun." "Uh, uh, that's okay." "We could go fishing." "Hey, if I eat some cereal fast, could you drive me so I'm not late for math?" "Yeah, of course." "Cool." "Oh, hey, Mase." "I need a new picture of you for my phone." "Okay." "Mm." "Here's something you might want to see." "He's..." "Going..." "Going to school?" "Mm-hmm." "Good." "I could have Coop bring him by this afternoon." "What do you think?" "No." "It might be good, for both of you." "I said no." "Don't..." "Argue..." "With a dying woman." "Is it true?" "Mr. Wilson." "Is it true?" "I heard some shrink in this practice is defending that murdering bitch in court." "Whoa." "W... slow down." "What?" "The prosecutors just told me that elise's lawyers are getting a-a Sheldon Wallace to testify in her defense." "You're my doctor, too." "You gave us a family, and now you're helping the woman who took it away?" "Elise was on suicide watch." "I only asked Dr. Wallace to talk to her." "Do you remember Josie?" "She had red hair and freckles." "She was 4." "Max was 2." "Still in diapers." "They were awake." "They must have been so scared." "My wife murdered our children." "She should rot in jail." "And you should be ashamed of yourself for helping her at all." "You're the one who asked me to talk to elise in the first place." "She was in jail and suicidal." "I asked you to help with her mental state, not to work to set her free." "What elise did was horrific." "It was beyond horrific." "It is possible that she had a psychotic episode, brought on by an undiagnosed postpartum depression." "You might be right, but you should've come to me before you agreed to help her out." "I'm not trying to justify what she did." "I'm trying to shed light on what happened." "Right, and the effect of that could be a court setting that woman free." "Okay, postpartum is a real thing, all right?" "Jake, 80% of mothers suffer from some form of it." "Yeah, but they don't asphyxiate their own children." "Sam, you know how brutal mental illness can be." "This is a kind of mental illness." "Look, guys, this is about elise." "Sheldon, you can help her all you want, just don't defend what she did in court." "Yes, well, I'm sorry, Jake, but she's my patient now." "Okay?" "You don't get to make that call." "Hey, you okay?" "Uh..." "I'm fine." "Yeah." "How much longer does she have?" "I don't know." "Days maybe, but..." "It's still, uh..." "Too long." "I'm wearing down." "Well, because..." "She's not just a patient." "She's in your life, which means you can't get any emotional distance." "And without that, you're not a doctor any more." "You're..." "Well..." "You're family." "I should be able to do this." "There's no right way to do it." "Just..." "Be there." "Cooper's with Mason." "And I..." "I..." "You want to tell me what's going on?" "Curt and elise came to me three years ago." "They already had a little girl..." "Josie." "But they had trouble conceiving again, so..." "After two rounds of I.V.F., they had Max." "After another year, they, uh..." "They said they were ready for a third." "That one took a little longer, but, um..." "Every time elise came into the office, curt would come with her." "They'd bring the kids." "I remember, uh..." "Elise seemed a little off." "But with two kids and... and more fertility treatments," "I-I figured, she was overwhelmed and affected by the hormones, but she said she could handle it." "My job is to give people babies, not judge whether they should be parents." "So I..." "I helped elise to get pregnant again." "There's no way anyone could've known what elise was going to do." "But I was her doctor." "I mean, I could've..." "I could've been more tuned in, could've asked more questions." "But instead, I shot her up with fertility drugs and probably made the problem worse." "Jake..." "You didn't cause this." "You have no idea the effect that medication had on her." "Except I know that I made it possible for her to have another baby." "Because of me, this woman who killed her two children is about to have another." "All right, spelling." "You obviously nailed that." "Yeah." "Math, you go88 out of 10." "What about the other 2 points?" "Kidding." "Good job on your history." "And a drawing..." "Do you like it?" "Yeah." "You and your mom?" "Whenever I'm scared, she lets me get in her bed." "Then I'm not scared any more." "That's great." "That is a great drawing." "I was thinking maybe you could help me find a frame for it, and we can put it in her room for when she comes home." "Mase..." "We talked about this." "She's not... she's..." "She's not coming home." "She's dying." "That w what you said last time in Seattle, but then the doctors fixed her." "Right, but, Mason..." "They can't help your mom there any more." "Nobody can." "Somebody will." "Why are you back?" "I want to be left alone." "I want to try to help with your defense, but to do that, you have to talk to me." "I don't deserve your help." "Elise, you have to get beyond the self-condemnation and open up." "Don't you want to understand wh H happened?" "Curt was out... out of town on business that week." "Max had been sick." "He wouldn't stop crying." "I took him to the doctor." "I did everything that they told me to do, but he just..." "He wouldn't stop." "Josie was upset because..." "I couldn't give her the attention that she needed." "Neither of them would sleep." "It took them hours to go down, and then..." "They would wake up over and over at night." "I was exhausted." "It was like torture." "And then I realized..." "That it was ymy fault." "I had to have done something wrong." "My children were..." "Upset and in pain..." "Because I was a bad mother, terrible mother, which made it even harder to watch them suffering." "I told them that we were going to the park" "I got them dressed," "And I put the sand toys in the back, and I..." "I..." "I put them in their car seats." "And I stetted the car." "And then I told them that I was going to go back and get their snacks." "Ohh." "The pain and the guilt that you feel now is a reaction..." "To what you did." "It's a rational reaction." "But what happened to you, what you experienced that night was something completely different." "I think you had a psychotic episode, the result of years of untreated postpartum depression, compounded by a hormonal imbalance." "You're not the same woman you were that night." "That night, you were not rational." "You have to understand that, and I have to help your lawyers help the court understand that." "I don't deserve your help." "I don't deserve anything!" "No, I killed them!" "I killed my babies!" "I killed them!" "Oh!" "Call 9-1-1!" "So how's he seem to you?" "He seems like a little boy who doesn't want to accept that his mother's gonna die." "We've been as honest with him as we could be." "I know." "I thought we..." "I thought he understood." "Kids Mason's age can't process a tragedy." "They'll often resort to magical thinking." "But he already said good-bye to her." "He knows that Charlotte's at the hospital with Erica." "He knows Erica's still alive." "I just don't think I should let him keep thinking there's hope." "I think you've done everything you can do." "But..." "If I didn't know that Erica had already refused," "I would say, take him to the hospital." "Let him see his mom." "Let her explain." "Right." "I-I mean, I tried." "Charlotte tried." "Erica won't budge." "Well, maybe take him anyway." "You can explain to him that he... he can't see his mom, but at least he'll be close to her." "Then what?" "And then hope like hell Erica changes her mind before it's too late." "Oh." "Stop." "Stop." "Hush." "Your mouth's leaking like a faucet." "Who cares?" "You want to be drooly, fine." "But it's freaking me out." "I can't handle it, sister." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Here we go." "I'm sorry." "Don't worry about it." "I'm scared." "I am gonna be here with you the whole time." "I am here." "You're here." "I'm here." "What happened?" "I'm Dr. Montgomery, elise." "You had an eclamptic seizure." "My baby... w..." "is she okay?" "I did an ultrasound, and you're on a fetal monitor." "The baby's gonna be fine." "I put you on medication to get your blood pressure under control and make sure you don't have another seizure." "Just as soon as you're stable, we'll go ahead and induce labor." "How soon?" "Hopefully tomorrow." "Should be routine." "You'll deliver vaginally unless there's a complication." "You'll have a few moments with your baby, and then she'll be turned over to your husband." "As soon as you recover, you'll be discharged back to county." "The first time, I was so happy." "Curt and I wanted a family so much." "But they don't tell you." "It's so hard." "Wanting to be a mom and having a baby..." "They're different." "My babies deserved something more..." "Someone better than me." "I tried my best, but I..." "I wasn't good." "I wasn't..." "A good mother." "And then, I..." "and then I became..." "What are you doing here so late?" "I was just, uh, signing off on a patient discharge." "Well, I-I'd invite you for a cup of coffee, but I gotta get back to the E.R. soon." "Oh, no, no, no, no." "I just stopped by to say hello." "So hello." "Hi." "M-maybe we could have lunch tomorrow." "I-I mean, unless you're doing something with Scott." "No." "Oh, okay." "Uh, I... it's no problem." "I get it." "No, no, no." "I meant, no, I don't have plans with Scott, because..." "Scott and I broke up." "Yeah, I know." "You do?" "Then why..." "I was just..." "I was try..." "I don't know." "I was..." "Pete." "Well, I, um..." "I do have a lot of pat..." "I have patients all day tomorrow, so..." "Some other time then." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Addison, are you home?" "Yeah, up here." "Surprise." "What happened to your office?" "I got rid of everything so you could fill it up." "I figured we could put the crib right over there, the changing table right under the window so you get plenty of fresh air, and these..." "These are all of my baby books... everything from what to name your baby to, oh, what weird food object your baby is the same size as each week." "Some of them..." "some of them are highlighted." "Actually... actually, all of them are highlighted." "That... a lot of people don't like that." "But this is supposed to be your nursery." "Doesn't matter." "I don't think I am ever gonna have a baby." "But the universe works in amazing ways, and you..." "Are." "I'm sorry." "All this is..." "Wonderful, Addie." "I just..." "this is too fast." "And I'm not ready." "Okay." "Where's my mom?" "Right upstairs." "This isn't fair, buddy." "This is just..." "it's nowhere near fair." "And I wish I could keep all the bad things in the world away from you." "But I can't." "I'm just so sorry about that." "Dad, if there's no cure, how's my mom gonna get better?" "I-I read this story once about a grandma who got sick." "And the entire family prayed, and she got better." "Should we be doing that?" "Does praying help?" "Sometimes, yeah." "Can you teach me?" "Yeah, um..." "Let's see." "I think you start by folding your hands together." "You, too." "Okay." "Um..." "And then you just... talk about your life and about what you want." "Aren't you supposed to kneel?" "Uh, uh, I don't." "Then I won't." "Okay." "Amen." "Amen." "Dad." "Mm-hmm." "Did I do it right?" "Do you think God heard me?" "Yeah, I do." "Hey." "Hey." "Another session with the crazy cat lady?" "Uh, no." "Combative schizophrenic." "Apparently, I look like his mother, and, uh, he hates his mother." "Took two nurses and a security guard to hold him while I pushed the haloperidol." "Coffee or tea?" "Tea." "Um, so, uh," "Pete and I ran into each other last night." "Mm-hmm." "I think he wanted to kiss me." "Did you let him?" "No." "Violet." "Oh, I wanted to, believe me." "But?" "Well, I just..." "it seemed lazy after, you know, everything we've been through." "Yeah." "Maybe you're right." "Every time Sam and I'd have a fight, he'd show up later all sexy, smelling like cookies." "And what would you do?" "Oof." "I fell for it, every single time." "Well, maybe I'm overthinking this." "Mm." "I don't know." "Didn't work for us." "Turns out, some problems are too big for even..." "Mind-blowing sex to solve." "Mm." "Hey." "Thank you." "You two doing okay?" "I couldn't get him to go home last night, but..." "How's Erica doing?" "It's almost over." "Hey, sweetie." "You want to head home for a while, maybe sleep in your own bed?" "I think I kinda want to stay here." "Is that okay?" "Of course." "Oh, um..." "I have something for my mom." "Uh, do you mind giving it to her?" "Sure." "I didn't get to frame it, but, um, I was thinking, maybe if she saw it, she wouldn't feel so alone." "Well, that's real sweet." "Hey, uh, maybe I could hang out with you for a while so your dad can go take care of some things." "Okay." "You need to go see Erica." "Now?" "Now." "Hey." "Hi." "I'm so sorry you were alone all those years, raising Mason." "I wish I'd known." "I wish I'd been able to help." "But this kid that you raised?" "My God, Erica, he's amazing." "And you did that." "You." "And I am so grateful you brought him to me." "Thank you for that." "I'm so... glad you're..." "His dad." "Come on, judi." "You're almost there." "Did you page me?" "Yeah." "I thought you should see this." "What's happening?" "Just your garden-variety miracle." "Ah!" "It's okay." "You can do this..." "Judi." "I'm just here for moral support." "I'm having a... oh..." "a boy." "And he's almost here." "Push." "Good." "There." "Ohh." "There he is." "Good." "Ohh." "He's perfect." "Can you believe I got to do that seven times today?" "He's beautiful." "And your baby will be, too." "Shh." "I just watched Addison deliver a baby, which is about the thousandth time I've seen it, but..." "But what?" "But nothing." "It..." "It was surreal." "Yeah, I remember watching Maya being born." "It was..." "it was magical." "I can understand why..." "why Addison wants it so badly." "Mm." "Well, not any more." "What do you mean?" "She told me, she's given up on having a baby." "Elise's labor is progressing quickly." "She should give birth relatively soon." "She'll get to spend a little time with the baby, and then... the second my daughter is born, you bring her to me." "Are you sure this is what you want?" "Look, I'm not defending elise." "I'm not defending myself." "This never should've happened." "But you and elise are about to have another baby together." "You know, everyone is so concerned with elise's feelings." "Well, what about mine?" "What about my right as a father to watch my children grow up?" "Curt..." "If elise is set free because of that shrink," "I will sue you." "I will sue all of you." "I'll ruin you." "Elise, on the count of three," "I need you to start really bearing down, okay?" "Mm-hmm." "Okay." "One, two, three." "Push." "Oh, it hurts." "I can't do it." "Elise, you have to keep going." "No, I can't." "I can't." "I can't be a mother again." "Elise, I need you to look at me, okay?" "I know that you're scared, but your baby needs you right now." "You can do this for her." "I know you can." "So on my count." "One, two, three." "Push." "Good." "Good, elise." "I can see the head." "I just need one more big push." "Good." "There she is." "Ohh." "Look at your beautiful baby..." "Elise." "Elise." "Elise, do you want to look at your daughter?" "She's..." "I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry." "Do you want to name her?" "Her father should do that." "Shh." "Elise." "You did a really good job." "God, she's so beautiful." "Hey." "She looks just elise." "It wasn't supposed to be like this." "We were supposed to be a family." "How could she do this to us?" "I don't know if you can ever forgive elise, but you have to try not to... not to hate her." "At least right now, because right now, she is the mother of this..." "Beautiful new daughter of yours." "And this baby deserves a fresh start, just like you do." "It's okay." "Shh." "How's elise?" "She's doing okay for a woman who just had to give up her baby." "She couldn't even bring herself to hold her." "Shh." "Shh." "How did elise's delivery go?" "It was rough, but she got through it." "Okay, good." "I'll check on her." "It's good that she has you, Sheldon." "Hey, do you think..." "I mean, is it possible for her to ever get past what she did?" "I don't know, but I don't plan to give up on her." "How's Jake?" "Sounds like he might need some help moving on, too." "Thanks." "Hello." "Erica, it's Charlotte." "I brought you something." "It's a... a drawing Mason did." "It's the two of you together." "It's really beautiful." "He wanted you to have it in here." "Okay, you just..." "You try to relax." "Erica, I'm gonna tell you something, and I know it's not quite fair to you, but..." "Mason needs to see you." "He won't be able to move on otherwise, and I know it's not what you want, but it is the only thing I can do for him, and he has to come first now." "Our son needs to see you." "I'm gonna go get him." "You just... you hang in there." "♪ hold my hand ♪" "♪ I am afraid ♪" "♪ please pray for me ♪" "♪ when I am away ♪" "♪ comfort ♪" "Mason, you need to come with me." "Your mama wants to see you and we don't have much time." "Okay?" "♪ help her understand ♪" "♪ no memory ♪ she's not gonna look like your mama." "She's pale and weak." "♪ no matter how sad ♪" "She's not gonna get better, is she?" "No, she's not." "But she's in here right now." "And we're gonna go see her, okay?" "♪ no violence ♪" "♪ no matter how bad ♪" "♪ can darken the heart ♪" "He's here." "♪ or tear it apart ♪" "Charlotte, it's too much." "Come on, Mason." "I love you, mommy." "I love you so much." "♪ comfort the man ♪" "♪ help him ♪" "♪ understand ♪" "Hey." "Oh." "Is this an indicator that you're finally embracing motherhood?" "It's a gift from Addison." "She's trying to entice me." "How much enticement do you need?" "I mean, you do realize, at the end of this, you're going to get a baby, right?" "The one I watched Addison deliver today was this..." "Perfect little boy." "I wonder what flavor this one will be?" "It's a boy." "Definitely." "Well, how are you so sure?" "I always say it's a boy." "Half my friends think I'm a genius." "Okay." "You don't need any more enticement, do you?" "No, I don't." "I'm in." "I'm gonna call Addison, and she'll do an ultrasound, and..." "I'll get to see my baby." "I'm in." "Well, that's excellent." "Uh, hey, I'm done here." "Do you want to grab dinner and celebrate?" "Uh, I'd love to, but I-I have to leave town tonight." "Sheldon..." "Is everything okay?" "I hope so." "I just have to go see my ex-wife." "You're a good doctor." "Actually, you..." "Are amazing." "You do everything in your power to give your patients what they want." "You're an intuitive, supportive, baby-giving miracle worker." "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but..." "I'm not done yet." "Just because you can work miracles doesn't mean that you're able to read what's inside people's hearts and minds." "And you are not..." "Responsible for what happened with elise." "You're a good doctor..." "And a good man." "♪ hey!" "♪" "♪ hey ♪" "♪ do you hear, do you hear that sound?" "♪" "♪ it's the sound of nonstop ♪ right." "I'm, uh, still your doctor." "We, uh..." "We can't do this." "Actually, you're not..." "My doctor any more." "I decided I'm not gonna have a baby." "but... but... ♪ shooting stars ♪ not yet." "♪ a lost and broken heart ♪" "I should go." "♪ name your stars ♪" "♪ with the touch of a new heart ♪" "♪ and it sounds like ♪ what are you doing here, Pete?" "♪ it sounds like ♪" "I still love you, Violet." "I love you, too." "wait." "Wait." "What?" "That's all it takes?" "Just take a little break from our marriage, mess around with other people, and then we're just ready to jump back in?" "Violet..." "I still don't know why you walked out that door, Pete." "I don't think you know either." "Why do you have to make this so complicated?" "Because our marriage is complicated." "And it's important to me." "You, me, Lucas..." "Our family..." "It's everything, and I can't just jump back in because..." "Just because we're still in love with each other." "I want this." "I do." "I want this." "But I..." "I don't know." "For it to happen, we..." "We have to do the work first." "♪ I'm afraid you'd name your stars ♪ you ready to do that?" "♪ with the touch of a new heart ♪" "Hey." "♪ and it sounds like ♪" "I've been meaning to say thank you." "For what?" "Everything you did for Erica, and what you're doing for Mason." "Don't say that." "Why?" "I mean it." "'Cause you don't thank me for any of that." "It's what you do." "♪ now ♪" "♪ oh ♪" "♪ now it's the start ♪" "♪ go ♪" "♪ and it goes with... ♪ whoa." "Long day?" "Mm." "Long, hard and..." "Confusing." "Mm." "Want to talk about it?" "Oh, you know how sometimes, just..." "Nothing makes sense?" "♪ oh, it sounds ♪ things haven't made sense for me in a long time..." "Corinne, Erica." "You want to know the last thing that made sense to me?" "Hmm?" "Us." "we made sense." "Sam..." "No, we do." "We make sense." "♪ now is the start ♪" "♪ hey!" "♪" "♪ hey!" "♪ mm." "♪ hey!" "♪" "Mm." "Uh..." "Hello." "excuse me?" "Yes, yeah, okay." "I'll be right there." "Uh..." "Yeah, uh... ♪ new, a new start ♪" "I have to go to the hospital." "Okay." "♪ now is the start ♪" "♪ it sounds like ♪" "♪ it sounds like ♪" "♪ oh, it sounds like ♪." "Mrs. clemons, I got here as fast as I could." "Mm-hmm." "Traffic." "I know." "Well, I-I just..." "I hadn't heard from you in a while, and I just assumed... anyway, and, uh, to get a call so late..." "This won't be the last time a baby wakes you up late at night." "My agency got a call this evening." "A mother delivered a baby she won't be able to keep, thinks you're a good fit." "Wait." "She thinks I'm a good fit?" "Wait." "Me." "Okay." "I'm a good fit?" "Birth mother went through the book of prospective mothers, chose you, wants to see you." "Uh..." "Okay." "You want to comb your hair..." "Or do you want a baby?" "♪ the start ♪" "♪ now is the start ♪ judi?" "I couldn't believe when I saw your picture." "I figured, it's meant to be, right?" "Do you want to hold him?" "so how do you feel now?" "♪ it sounds like ♪" "Addison?" "♪ it sounds like ♪" "Addison?" "♪ it sounds like ♪"