"William:" "Here's how the story was told to me." "I always say I got things wrong" "I waited here a little too long" "Hey, hey." "What y'all doing?" "Say Jesse, how 'bout you talk Danielle out of being mad at me?" "And both of y'all hop in the car with me and Vince here." "And we can all take a spin into Dallas?" "We got school tomorrow, stupid." "Oh come on, Jesse." "We'll be back before anybody gets in any real trouble." "Y'all know Vince?" "This here is Vince Hardin." "Vince this is Jesse and that one's Dan." "Dan's a little mad at me right now." "I'm not mad at you, John Jaegerman." "I'm just bored with you." "John:" "Jesse will you tell Dan that she's the only girl I'll ever love." "Danielle:" "Jesse will you tell John to please think about that the next time he decides to steal a car?" "John:" "They didn't even press any charges." "They knew I was just goofing around." "What about you, Mr. Vince?" "Do you talk?" "I know a joke." "Jesse:" "Well let's hear it." "Okay." "There's these two monks, alright?" "There's like a regular monk guy." "William:" "My mother didn't need to hear the joke." "She was already dead bull's eye in love." "She listened to the sound of his voice, thinking what a good father he'd make." "And the guy says "Well, I'm not into fish but I sure am going to love working with you fuckin' guys." "Come on, Dan, let's go to Dallas." "Now I'm stuck here - looking by" "Where I lost a friend" "Jesse:" "It's a nice car." "Vince:" "It's just a 'Cuda." "Oh, I have lost my head" "Way back when the world was young" "Long before this song was sung" "William:" "Three weeks later," "I was conceived in the back of that Plymouth." "I was thinkin' a lot about that story." "I wondered if sex was easier in Texas than it was in New York." "I wondered how my father a talked to my mother." "I wondered how other men in general behaved when they were alone with women." "No matter how long it takes" "One day the dam will break" "One day the tears will fall" "Just by the waterfall" ""My heart is gold, what will you give me for it?"" "No matter how long it takes" "Sarah doesn't think men have vaginas." "Yeah, well, I agree with her." "What?" "I said, I don't have a vagina." "Yeah, you do." "Hi, I'm William." "I'm an actor." "So I'm totally full of shit." "Don't believe a word I say." "I just figured I should tell you that right off the bat so you don't get disappointed later." "Have you ever seen 'Star Trek'?" "The original one?" "Well, I'm kind of like Spock in that episode where he tells the replicants that everything he says is a lie." "And they go, "If everything you say is a lie, then you're lying now, which means you're telling the truth, which means you're lying. "" "And then smoke comes out of their ears." "and they malfunction, and he gets to escape." "See, you just seem a little stiff to me, and I'm trying to make sure you're not a replicant." "Do you speak English?" "Yes." "Good." "I was worried you didn't understand a word I said." "Don't worry;" "you're not that complicated." " What?" " You're not that complicated." "Thanks." "Are you nervous?" "No, I'm not nervous." "Why would I be nervous?" "Okay, I'm nervous all the time." "I don't know why." "Me too." "One day, the dam will break." "Sarah:" "So, you're really an actor?" "William:" "Yeah." "I've got an audition for the movie version of Camino Real tomorrow." "You ever read that play?" "No." " Tennessee Williams." " No." "Me neither." "My lines are good, though." "I read them." "Well, don't you have to read the whole play?" "Yeah, I guess I should, huh." "I tried." "It's just really weird." "It's about a bunch of people unhappy 'cause they're not sure if they're living or they're dead." "Why do you want to be an actor?" "I don't, really." "It's the only thing I've ever really been good at." "I want to be a singer." "Oh yeah?" "You going to be a star?" "I want to be a musician." "Okay, that's cool." "I don't want to be famous, you know." "I like to sing." "I want to do what I love." "Are you any good?" "It's not important." "Are you any good?" " I'm great." " Oh yeah?" "Yeah." "I'm tellin' you, there's nothin' I can do about it." "I'm just great." "Okay, well, do something for me." ""My heart is gold, what will you give me for it?"" "What's that?" "Tennessee." "I'm just whoever I pretend to be." "You ever feel like that, like all you are is the person you were pretending to be in high school?" "No." "Don't worry, you are somebody." "If you'd stop pretending, it'll come out all by itself." "Do you want to get married?" "No." "I don't want to be an actor." "It's a little disappointing when your best quality is pretending to be someone else." "I want to be somebody specific, you know." "I was born in Texas." "But I left there when I was eight." "Sometimes, I think, if I had just stayed," "I could be a regular person, you know." "Billy, the lumber guy, or whatever." "Instead of running around with my head cut off." "Why'd you leave Texas?" "My mom had wanderlust." "What about your dad?" "I don't really know him." "Don't smoke that." "Why not?" "Because I'm thinking about kissing you." "Okay, good to know." "It's good to know." "Sarah:" "So you're going to be a big movie star, huh?" "William:" "Yeah, it's my destiny." "Sarah:" "Oh God, you're unbelievable." "William:" "I try to be." "Born yesterday, but I stayed up all night." "This is my door." "You live here?" "Yeah." "Oh shit!" "Really?" "That's my window." "My window looks out on your front door." "Well " "I just got to New York City tonight." "I'm staying with a friend." "Come here;" "come here, come here." "Do me a favor, stand right here." "Sarah:" "Okay!" " Why?" " Right there, just like that." "That's good, one second." "I feel weird." "What am I doing here?" "What?" "William:" "Looking out at what was now her door," "I had the profound feeling that my life had changed." "And I was right not in the way I thought." "I hadn't met the woman I was to grow gray with." "I was twenty years old and, by the time I was twenty-one" "I'd be heartbroken." "Sarah:" "Hi." "William:" "Nice to see you." "What's your name again?" "You don't remember my name?" "I'm kidding." "Oh my God, did I do that?" "Yeah." "Are you mad?" "No." "Do you do that all the time?" "Do what?" "Kiss girls?" "Dave:" "Hey Sarah, we'll start in about ten minutes, alright?" "Is she okay?" "I think southing's wrong with her microphone." "I'll get it." "William:" "Hey Sarah - that dude said he'd take care of the microphone business." " What?" " Come here." "Sarah:" "I'm behaving ridiculously." "William:" "Yeah, you are." "Sarah:" "I'm sorry about the hickey thing." "William:" "It' A. O. K." "Sarah:" "You should go now." "William:" "Okay." "Good luck." "Okay." "William:" "Just pretend you're someone else." "What?" "Think of your favorite singer, and just start out by pretending to be her." "The rest'll come easy, and it'll secretly be you." "Can I borrow your jacket?" "Vince:" "Come on buddy, take off your jacket." "Come on it's hot as hell in here, man." "Come on buddy take off your jacket." "Now listen to me, William, your mother and you are moving away - and I can't come after you." "I can't - because I can't." "You know I'm going to try to get some money together - and visit you as much as I can, but it won't be as often as I want, alright." "But it's killing me, alright?" "I mean, it's - it's really killing me." "And I want you to remember one thing." "Can you hear me?" "Just remember one thing." "I am not the one - leaving Texas, alright." "Will you remember that?" "Come on, take off your jacket." "Sometimes when we meet up yonder" "We'll stroll hand in hand again" "In the land that knows no parting" "Blue eyes crying in the rain" "That's my jacket." "William:" "You know what I'm going to do?" "I'm going to buy a car - an old silver one with a big dashboard - and drive you down to Nashville." "Take you to the Grand Ole Orpy." "Make you a big motherfucking star." "Can I sing Johnny Cash?" "Are you kidding?" "Why don't you move in with me?" "I came to New York to be on my own." "I'll move out." "Sorry." "I found my own place." "But I'll stay with you until my lease starts, if you want." "I want." "Yeah, that'd be good." "But I won't have sex with you." "Why not?" "Because I have a scar right here." "That's okay." "I got lots of scars." "Okay - then I'll sleep over." "William:" "But you won't have sex with me?" "Sarah:" "I'll have sex with you when I have my own apartment." "William:" "So it's kind of like an audition?" "Sarah:" "Yeah." "William:" "I hope I get a callback." "It was Wednesday when we met," "Saturday when I asked her to move in - and by Sunday there were flowers in my apartment - and humus in my refrigerator." "I don't remember waking up that Sunday." "I don't think I ever slept." "I just sat there thinking " "Goddamn, this must be what praying is like." "All right, ma'am, where would you like this?" " You really got that part?" " I really did." "You're really going to be in a movie." " Yeah." " That's awesome." "We leave for Mexico in a month." "That's where we're shootin' it." "Oh cool!" "Mexico - sounds like fun." "You know what we should do?" "We should paint." "Aren't you sleepy?" "No, I think we should paint." "Alright." "Well, what do you want to do?" "You know what I want to do." "But painting's okay." "William:" "What's your shirt say?" "I love to fuck." "Does that make you feel tough?" "It does." "Well, you better get serious about your painting - because we're not going to go to bed tonight 'til this whole apartment is blue." "Sarah:" "You're the type of boy who gets girls pregnant." "Do you know that?" "Yeah, my mother used to say that all the time." "Sarah:" "You should think of me as very fragile." "I just didn't want to be feeling this way right now." "William:" "How do you feel?" "Sarah:" "Don't play dumb." "I'm here to be on my own." "I'll probably just run away and leave you crushed." "William:" "No, you can't hurt me." "That's the problem." "You just got to stick around and hear the jokes." "Sarah:" "Oh brother!" "William:" "Do you know how dumb I feel?" "Sarah:" "What do you mean?" "William:" "When you're thinking about sex like twenty-four hour a day- it significantly deteriorates your intelligence." "Sarah:" "You know what?" "We should have done it that first night." "That first night we kissed, I wanted to sleep with you." "You're just giving me too much time to think." "I didn't think it was going to be a one-shot deal." "Oh, come on." "When's it going to get ugly?" "When's it going to get abusive?" "I don't know, but it always does." "What kind of shit do you think we'll say about each other after we break up?" ""Frigid bitch. "" ""All he thinks about is himself. "" ""She's really still just a child. "" ""He doesn't ever listen. "" ""Oh, she's completely without talent. "" ""Oh, he calls himself an actor?" "What a phoney. "" "Isn't it strange that'll happen?" "I'll come in here one night " ""Listen, we got to talk. "" ""What is it?"" ""It's just I've been thinking and -"" ""And what?"" ""I just need a little space is all. "" ""Space for what?"" ""Look, don't make this any harder than it is." "I don't make you happy, you don't make me happy. "" ""Yes, yes, you do." "We can work this out, I love you." "You're seeing someone else. "" ""No!" "Don't say that." " "Who is it?" - "It doesn't matter. "" " "Who is it?" - "It doesn't matter. "" " "Who is it?" - "See, I can't even talk to you. "" ""I always knew you didn't care about me." "You just needed someone to talk at." "I could have been any girl. "" ""Now, don't go feeling sorry for yourself." "The point is, it's over." "It was fun, but I'm just not boyfriend material, you know?"" "Okay." "I think we have to stop now because " "Oh my God, I'm so stupid." "I'm so stupid." "I can't do this with you." " We were joking." " I can't do that." "I don't what a boyfriend right now." "Don't start having some self-fulfilling prophesy that I'm going to hurt you." "I promised myself I wasn't going to do this." "Listen, if you could be inside my body when I see you, or touch you - or think that I might see you, or touch you - you would stop crying and slap me - because I'm either crazy about you," "or, I'm going crazy." "You are crazy." " Oh yeah?" " Yeah." "Well, if you don't say, "I'm going to get over my stupid hang-ups - and fall desperately in love" " "I'm going to jump off this bed." "I'm not going to say that." "Say it!" "I don't have any stupid hang-ups." "Oh, you better say it!" "You know what?" "Just - just stop." "Are you okay?" "Say you're falling desperately in love with me, and I'll come back to life." "No!" "What do you even mean by love?" "I'm dying." "You're not dying." "Say you desperately want to kiss me passionately, and I'll come back to life." "I desperately want to kiss you passionately." "A tragedy narrowly averted." "Come here." "I knew what was happening and it was nice but it wasn't what I wanted." "Decker:" "Yo Kilroy, you big boxing bastard, get over here." "William:" "I remember wining that." "Spring of '79." "Samantha:" "I wasn't born yet." "Decker:" "Look, I'm not saying you look bad." "I'm just saying " "I wish you were wearing a dress." "I personally find you more attractive - in a dress." "I'm not saying that to be mean, but you asked." "And yes, I wish you were in a dress." "Kim:" "I felt like wearing jeans tonight." "Decker:" "So wear jeans." "Kim:" "Do you want me to go home and change?" "Decker:" "Would I prefer that - yes." "Kim:" "You are such a shit." "I can't believe you're friends with him." "Hey man, you went out with her first." " This is Sarah." " Hey, good to meet you." "Don't judge me too quickly." "My mother killed herself when I was twelve, so I have a lot of issues - with women that I'm still trying to work out." "But I also have some positive attributes, unfortunately, none of which - will be revealed this evening because I am extremely inebriated." "Alright, man." "Did your mother really kill herself?" "She was exactly like Sylvia Plath - without the publishing contract." "I'm trying to make you laugh." "Man, I got to show you something." "Alright, it's alright." "What the hell are we all doing?" "Why is nobody setting themselves on fire?" "I would set myself on fire - except you know," "I don't think alleged President George Bush deserves it." "I don't think he deserves my whole body." "I think he deserves one singed ball." "Male voice:" "I was actually there when he died." "Hip chick:" "You were there?" "Male voice:" "Yeah, yeah." "I'll never forget it." "Me and my buddy Danny, we had just come from a baseball game." "We're standing in line at McDonald's, a there was this old guy - like right in line in front of us." "This old man - he was just crying." "Just sobbing." "I looked over to him, and I said, "You okay, Mister?"" "He looked back at me, with tears, and he was like," ""Didn't you hear?" "John Wayne died today. "" " Hip Chick:" "Yeah?" " John Wayne had died." "It wasn't some numbnut it was John Wayne!" "Well, I'm a vegetarian." "Man:" "Actually, I was thinking about being a vegetarian." " I'm Samantha." " Hi." "So, are you William's girlfriend?" "I guess." "I mean, we're just friends." "Cool." "Were are you from?" "Your accent is just so beguiling." "Thank you." "Did you guys used to go out?" "Oh yeah we did;" "but it was ages ago." "We're just friends now." "So what do you do?" "I'm in college, I go to Columbia." "Good." " I want to be a singer." " Nice." " Yeah!" " Nice, yeah." "But I guess as far as a job, I'm babysitting." "Oh, that's great;" "like a nanny." " Hi, hello." " Hey." "What's up?" "Good, hi!" "How are you?" "I'm good - one second!" "I'm going to take off." "What?" "Dave is playing downtown." "So?" "I should really go and see his show." "What, the guy with the teeth?" "This could be a job." "That's what I'm in New York to do." "You don't need me here." "Alright;" "well, I'll go with you." "No, no; you stay here with your friends, and do your reading." " No, I'll go with you." " No, no, no, no; you stay here." "I'll talk to you tomorrow." "No, no, no!" "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" "Bye." "Fine!" "Fuck off, then." "But the scarecrow's waiting" "Must come back some day" "It must come back come any" "To relieve his pain" "Hi." "Hi." "I'm sorry." "What are you sorry about?" "I didn't like any of that." "Don't tell me to fuck off." "Did you ever hear the one about the guy who wanted to tell the girl - how much he liked her, but all he did was stammer and say - mean things when he wanted to be funny?" "Did you ever hear the one about the guy who brought the girl to a party - where it seemed like he'd slept with every other girl there?" "Don't kiss me." "Why not?" "I don't like to kiss in public." "Well, let's get out of here then." "I don't want to leave." "Christ, what the fuck do you want to do?" "Is this where it turns abusive?" "Goddamn!" "Listen, I don't know what's happening to me." "I don't want to tell you to fuck off." "I don't, but since I met you," "I - can't operate in the world." "All I think about is if you like me." "And, I know how lame that sounds." "If you what me to leave you alone I will." "I really will." "It's just sometimes you meet somebody - and you know, whatever you did before, nothing could've been too bad or too wrong - because it's led you to this person." "And you feel like that person." "Are you that person?" "Do you want me to go away?" "No." "No, you aren't that person, or, no, you don't want me to go away?" "Why do you like me so much?" "Because you're special." "You're so, so special." "You're such a dumb boy." "I know." "Don't worry any more if I like you." "Come on." "Starts out slowly" "Kissin' finally" "You don't see her" "After a while, it's all her fantasy" "Sleeping in " "Decker:" "I bet this is good for you." "You screw around too much, anyway." "That's probably half of the reason you're so crazy about her." "Remember that you're not a piece of cake to be with." "What's that mean?" "Well, you're pretty skittish, you know." "You just don't come off as the kind of guy to count on." "Does she get you off at least?" "You know, take care of business?" "A blowjob something?" "I don't want any more blowjobs." "You know, some day, I'm going to remind you of that comment, and you're going to be deeply ashamed." "William:" "I have to stop seeing this girl." "Decker:" "Why?" "Because I can't tell you, man, I'm scared out of my mind." "My hands are shaking all the time." "Smart girls are tough." "They're a pain in the ass." "There's a difference between someone who's smart, and someone who doesn't like you." "Decker:" "I will tell you one thing." "there's a difference between a smart girl - and a girl who doesn't like blowjobs." "William:" "You know, sometimes, I think that if I could get her to like me - then everything I don't like about myself would just disappear." "She wants me to go out to Connecticut to visit her mom." "You think I should go?" "'Course you're going to go." "What do you mean?" "Well, you're crazy about this girl." "You've got no options." "In a world of trouble" "Don't you see" "Mrs. Garcia:" "Father, we thank thee for this food and all the many blessings." "Bless them to our use, and us to thy service." "And make us ever mindful of the needs of others." "Amen." "Amen." "So, Sarah tells me you're an actor, is that right?" "Yeah, I guess." "I hope you're not too vain." "Mom, you don't know any actors." "Yes, I do." "I've met a few actors - and they're all ludicrously vain." "This is really good food." "Yeah Mom, it's real good." "Mrs. Garcia:" "How's everything in New York?" "Everything's great." "It's wonderful." "Sarah has big dreams." "Did she tell you she wants to be a singer?" "I've actually seen her sing." "But, did you hear her?" "Mom!" "Did she tell you that I worked my whole life as a secretary - saving money for her to go to college?" "Did she tell you I was valedictorian of my high school?" "No." "Mrs. Garcia:" "But I didn't attend university." "Sarah's father - didn't deem it important that either one of us go to college." "But she loves him." "Don't you, Sarah?" "Don't you love your daddy?" "Well, I suppose she has told you all about him, right?" "We haven't talked much about stuff like that." "Excuse me." "She's not much of a talker, is she?" "Oh, don't get in a mood now, Sarah; please." "Sarah, I'm not being bad, am I?" " No." " No." "I'm just giving your young gentleman here - a little information about us, right?" "Putting your daughter through college all by yourself - it is something to be proud of, don't you think?" "Yes, ma'am." "I love you." "I love her - right?" "She's beautiful - she's a beautiful girl." "Very beautiful." "You can't trust love." "William - let me give you a little piece of sage advice- friendship:" "true friendship is all you can trust: you'll see." "Do you know what it is?" "I always believed in being "of use. "" "I would ask myself " ""How can I be of the most use?"" "Because William, it is in that way that God speaks to us." "But Sarah, she doesn't think about that." "She wants to be special." "Mom, I don't want to be special." "I like to sing." "The world needs singers, doesn't it?" " Well " " No, your mother doesn't." "There you go." "Your mother doesn't need any singers at all." "And, excuse me, New York has more than its share." "Mom, you're drunk." "No, I'm not drunk;" "I am your mother." "I have many faults, the worst of which is not how painfully I miss my daughter." "But I'll be able to stand before God, and I'm a little worried about you." "We'll see, Mom." "We'll see." "What about you, William." "Will you be able to stand before God?" "Well, Mrs. Garcia, to tell you the truth - it's my opinion that I have stood before God " "since the moment I met your daughter." "Oh my!" "Sarah " "We have a bullshit artist sitting at the table." "Mrs. Garcia:" "Honey, I just don't what you to get hurt again." "Sarah:" "I won't." "Mrs. Garcia:" "Well - he looks like David." "Oh, he does not." "Mrs. Garcia:" "He smells like David." "He does not." "Mrs. Garcia:" "You know, he smells like something I don't like." "I'm done." "Sarah:" "You shut her up." "I'm sorry about that business." "She only does it when she drinks." "William:" "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Well?" "You're doing great." " I am?" " Yeah!" "Hey, wait." "What?" "Who's David?" "No one." "He's your old boyfriend?" "Let's not talk about him, okay?" "You know, some day, Sarah - you're going to have to talk to me." "What did you mean, you saw God in me?" "I don't know." "Can I smoke a cigarette?" "Sure." "Don't be mad, okay?" "David and I went out for the two and a half years that I was at college." "We lived together." "After a while he said he couldn't fall asleep in the same bed with me." "I don't know why." "So, I started sleeping on the couch." "It's so embarrassing." "One night, I heard this noise - so, I walk into our room " "and he had sneaked another girl up the fire escape - and was having sex with her in my bed." "The worst part about it is that I was so " "I don't know, like crazy about him - that I didn't break up with him, or, I wouldn't let him break up with me." "And then, I dropped out of college to try to end it." "And - that's why my mom is so mad." "But the point is " "I'm not so tough or interesting as you seem to think I am." "I'm just more of a dork." "Hey - you should come to Mexico with me." "I'm afraid of that." "They've given me a first class ticket." "I bet I could trade it in for two coach ones." "I'm afraid to fly." "You're bullshitting me." "Come on;" "you should come." "You have to work." "I don't want to talk anymore." "I want to fool around." "Good." "Do you have a condom?" "No." "Then we can't do it." "Oh God." "Do you want to get me pregnant?" "Yes." "Don't say that." "Okay." "Don't you find it odd when you're a kid - everyone in the whole world tells you to follow your dreams - and when you get older, they act all offended if you even try." "I'll go to Mexico with you if you still want me to." "But we'll need to leave a week early - and then I'll come back home before you start work okay?" "Okay." "Good night." "Good night." "William:" "Mexico - is where it all went down." "Sarah:" "I think we should have sex." "William:" "Right now?" "Yes." "But I have to ask you some questions first." "Okay shoot." "Do you have any diseases?" "Nope." "Have you ever been baptized?" "No." "Do I fail the test?" "Why are you so scared to have sex?" "I think if we have sex " "I'll fall in love with you." "I'm not much of a lover." "William " "I want to fuck you." "Turn off the light." "Sarah:" "Stop!" "Get a condom on." "There's some in my purse." "William:" "Where's your purse?" "Sarah:" "In the bathroom." "William:" "Okay." "Oh Jesus, I'm too nervous." "What?" "I'm too nervous." "Fuck!" "What?" "Nothing!" "Fuck!" "Let's just go to sleep, alright?" "What is it?" "You don't want to do it?" "William:" "Yeah, I do;" "I just can't right now, is all." "Why not?" "Why not?" "Look " "Sarah, can we just go to sleep?" "What's wrong?" "William:" "Can I lift your veil now?" "Sarah:" "If you will be gentle" " Ooh!" "William:" "What' the matter?" "Sarah:" "You're not being gentle." "William:" "Are you kidding?" "Sarah:" "No, I don't like it we you're like that." "William:" "Like what?" "Sarah:" "Cynical and sarcastic." "William:" "I am sincere." "Sarah:" "I am sincere." "Are you wearing protection?" "No." "It's alright." "Come on." "Cynical and sarcastic!" "William:" "I am sincere." "Sarah:" "I would believe that you believe you are, for a while." "William:" "Everything's for a while." "'For a while' is the stuff that dreams are made of - baby." "I am sincere." "Sarah:" "I am sincere." "William:" "I am sincere." "Sarah:" "I am sincere." "William:" "Take two, okay." "Action." "Can I lift your veil now?" "If you will be gentle - Ooh!" "What's the matter?" "You're not being gentle." "How was I being?" "Rough." " Are you kidding?" " No." "I don't like it when you're like that." "Like what?" "Cynical and sarcastic." "I am sincere." "I would believe that you believe you are for a while." "Everything's for a while." "'For a while' is the stuff that dreams are made of, baby." "I am sincere." "William:" "We weren't good tourists." "In our room, the scent of sex was thick." "I ever wanted to take a shower again." "My hands my arms my face - all smelled of Sarah." "We would mess around all day till it hurt." "It was hard to tell if she was kissing me or touching me." "Every part of her body was as wet as her mouth." "Sarah wasn't sexy the way other people are sexy." "Her body wasn't tight, or taut or anything like that." "She was funny, the way watching people fall asleep on busses with their heads continually dropping and then jerking back up, is funny." "She was human - the most human person I had ever met and that was sexy." "Sarah:" "Are you awake?" "William:" "Uh huh." "Sarah:" "I remember one afternoon I came home from school - and my mom told me my father had left us." "I didn't believe her." "I thought it was a game - like hide and seek." "So I looked all over the house - closets - under beds " "I looked everywhere." "Where'd he go?" "He went to a rehabilitation center in Albany, and never came back." "But he wrote me once a month, from the day he left 'til I went away to college." "Once I was away from home, he'd come visit me." "He just never wanted to see my mother again." "His letters were my favorite part of growing up." "They always came in these dark blue envelopes, and I'd keep them in a box - underneath my bed." "I loved that they were blue - because when he lived with us, he'd come home - always wearing his blue work shirt." "And I'd sit on the back of the couch, and I'd scratch his back." "I'd scratch for as long as my mom would let me." "When I went to bed at night, my fingers would be stained blue." "And you like that?" "Yeah" " I did." "Do you ever miss your father?" "No, never." "Can you see me?" "Would you like me to scratch your back?" "Stand up, and go to the bathroom." "Why?" "Just do it." "I wanted to tell her I loved her." "I loved everything about her." "I loved the way she made me feel even when that was miserable." "I loved the way she bought a dress - the way she made love in bathrooms - the way she ate chocolate." "I loved her mother - her drunk blue-letter writing father." "I loved every thought she ever had." "Sarah:" "Are you okay?" "William:" "I just need to get some fresh air." "Well, go get us some beer, maybe some OJ for the morning." "Yeah good." "Sarah:" "What is it?" "I don't know." "I got this weird flash of nervousness, all of a sudden." "I love you." "I love you, too." "Go get us some beer, okay." "Okay, I'm on it." "Don't forget the OJ!" "No problema." "Bye." "William:" "I ran through the city." "I wasn't looking for a place to buy beer." "I just ran." " No!" " Yes!" "You don't understand." "You know, you're not supposed to drink the water down here." "But it's in a bottle." "No, but it's " "No, it's in a bottle." "Alright." "Turista." "Sarah:" "Queria hacer una preguntica" "Mi novio y yo yo nos quere mos casar - y yo no se si usted nos podria ayudar con informacion." "Hotel proprietor:" "Pero claro que si mija!" "Sarah:" "Necesitimos alquien que nos pueda casar rapidito y ajito precio." "Hotel proprietor:" "Aja El esposo mio, miesposo Carlos, los casa bien aruto." "Mira el se enchentru en la zapateria la vermosa con la calle el Indio." "Puede ir alla ahora miso sae?" "Sarah:" "Gracias!" "Hotel proprietor:" "Y Felicidades." "Sarah:" "Gracias!" "What?" "Well " "Carmen Maria said it's possible to get married, if you really want to do that." "Today?" "If you don't want to do it, it's not a big deal." "No, I didn't say I didn't want to do it." "I just said, "Today?"" "Look, I don't know." "I'm just not sure if I can be away from you." "And how many times in a person's life are you going to fall in love?" "I mean - I'd love to marry you." "I figure, as long as we maintain a sense of ourselves as individuals - and not become some sloppy, clingy couple whose lives revolve around each other - then, it might be better if we did get married." "Then, if something goes wrong, or goes weird - which, you know, it most likely will - we'd have to figure it out, and one of us couldn't just run away." "William:" "Do you want to have a kid?" "Sarah:" "Yeah." "But not right away." "William:" "No, not right away, of course not." "So, what do you think?" "Am I crazy?" "Let's do it." "Really?" "I want to do it." "I mean, you have to be sure." "If we do this, we'll be mentioned in each other's obituaries, no matter what." "Let's get married." "Let's be individuals, let's have kids " " Yeah, but not right away." " Not right away." "But, fuck it, man, let's do it." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Sarah:" "I don't understand why you say that." "Well because it's my life." "Yes." "Mom " "I know it's fast but it's what we wanted Mom." "William?" "William, come here." "Do you mind talking to her?" "Just talk to her." "Hello, Mrs. Garcia." "Mrs. Garcia:" "So you what to carry my daughter." "That's right ma'am, I do." "Mrs. Garcia:" "Stop calling me ma'am." "You sound insincere." "Fair enough." "Mrs. Garcia:" "Is she pregnant?" "No, she's not pregnant." "Mrs. Garcia:" "I didn't have Sarah till I was 30." "That myth about a young mother having pretty babies isn't true." "Yup!" "I understand." "Mrs. Garcia:" "Now listen to me very carefully." "Okay." "Mrs. Garcia:" "You are a complete idiot." "You are both exceedingly - lacking in intelligence." "Am I being clear?" "Yes, I think you are." "Mrs. Garcia:" "Since it doesn't look like I can do anything to change your mind - I only can hope you prove me wrong." "I hope so, too." "Mrs. Garcia:" "Now give me back to Sarah." "Okay." "Bye, Mrs. Garcia." "Hi Mom." "Okay." "Yes, I understand." "Okay." "I love you too, Mom." "Bye." "Hey, what'd she say?" "I can't get married." "What'd she say?" "She said - that it was a good idea." "That you'd be good for me." "That I'll never make it on my own." "She was actually very surprised because - she didn't even think that you liked me that much." "I'm sorry, William, I was just being ridiculous." "Come here." "No, I can't go anywhere." " Come here." " I'm not going to get married." "I know." "Two seconds." "Just follow me;" "come on." "Sarah:" "Where are we going?" "Where are we going?" "William:" "You'll see." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Sarah:" "I'm going." "Promise me - if something goes wrong - if I run away - you'll find me and make me kiss you." "Nothing will go wrong." "Just promise." "I promise." "Thanks." "Scene 66 take one." "And took my hand" "And you said there is no question" "And you kindly sent me" "I knew then" "William:" "My girlfriend plays guitar." "Guitar player:" "Really?" "Is she any good?" "William:" "Yeah, she's really good." "Guitar player:" "Is she hot?" "William:" "Yeah she's real hot." "You know what it is you miss most when you're separated from someone - you lived with and loved?" "It's waking with that warmness beside you." "Once you get used to that warmness - it's a hell of a lonely feeling to wake up without it." "Specially in some dollar " "Can we do it from the top?" "Director:" "Yup." "William:" "You know what it is you miss most we you're separated from someone - you lived with and loved?" "It's waking up with that warmness beside you." "Once you get used to that warmness, it' a hell of a lonely feeling - to wake up without it." "Specially in some dollar-a-night hotel room on the skid." "A hot water bottle won't do, and a stranger won't do." "It has to be someone you're used to - and that you know loves you." "Director:" "Cut!" "Hey, is this mike wire supposed to be like up my ass?" "I spent more than half the money I made on that movie on phone calls - to New York, and on a last minute plane ticket." "I changed my flight a lost $700 so I could arrive three and a half hours earlier." "No shit, I really did that." "I would never see you go" "William:" "Hey, how're you doing?" "I came home early;" "I wanted to surprise you." "Sarah:" "You did." "William:" "I thought it'd be fun." "Sarah:" "I'm eating oatmeal." "William:" "Yeah I can see." "How is it?" "Sarah:" "It's pretty good." "I got you these." "Thank you." "I brought you that towel you wanted." "Thanks." "And, here's a present." "It's a green dress." "I saw it on a mannequin, and it reminded me - of that one you always wear, so I bought it." "I don't know if that's lame or not, buying something - for somebody that you know they already have, but - it made sense at the time." "Thank you." "No problem." "Do you want to put these flowers in some water or something?" "Sure." "Are you nervous?" "Yes." "About seeing me?" "You look different." "You told me you weren't coming home until tonight." "I took a different flight." "Why?" "Hey, I heard a joke;" "you want to hear it?" "Sure." "Okay, there's these two monks." "A monsignor guy - and a regular monk guy, and they're fishing." "And the regular monk - catches this humongous fish." "He goes " ""Wow, that is one heck of a sonofabitch, "" "and the monsignor guy says " ""My son, watch your language, "" "and the other one says -"No, Father, I'm sorry, but that's the name of the fish, 'sonofabitch'."" ""Oh, " goes the monsignor." "So that night they're initiating some new monk, and they decided to serve the fish." "They all sat down eating this fish and the regular monk goes " ""Boy, this sonofabitch is really good. "" "And the monsignor guy says " ""Yeah, I've never had sonofabitch this good. "" "And he turns to the new recruit and says " ""How do you like the fish?"" "And the new guy says " ""Hey, I'm not much for fish - but I'm sure going to enjoy working with you fuckin' guys. "" "I have to go to the bathroom." "How're you doing?" "I just woke up." "I still need to go to the bathroom." "Listen, I've seen all this before" "Last time I walked through the door" "Why must it be today" "Why have I known it on my way?" "You are lovely all the time" "Now you've gone and changed your mind" "If there's something that won't stray" "In the change from night to day" "Sarah:" "Are you sure you can come?" "William:" "Yeah, it's no problem." "Sarah:" "We'll only be gone for a couple of days." "And" " I'm kind of worried with the two shows - we're playing, I might be kind of busy." "Maybe it's a better idea if I didn't come then." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "It seems like you need a little space." "And I got some things I could probably take are of." "Okay!" "I think you're right." "What do you mean?" "Well - you just said you have some things to take care of, right?" "Yeah, but you know that's a fuckin' lie." "All I do is go to the movies." "I've been to - thirteen movies in three days." "I mean, you don't want me to come, right?" "I don't know, I mean " "I don't know." "It's just - you don't seem to do anything except sit around and wait for me." "You know that's not the couple we wanted to be." "I do?" "Look - while you were gone," "I mean, I don't want to belittle the time we spent in Mexico - but it wasn't very realistic." "And all I did while you were away, was sit around a wait for you - and think about you." "And, I can't do that." "I've done that before, and I know that sounds " "Sometimes, you take that away." "I take that away?" "Take what away?" "I came to New York to be on my own." "I'm just happy that I was able to feel the way you made me feel." "I didn't think it was possible." "Good; you look like you're feeling better." "So, what's going on here?" "Are you breaking up with me?" "I just think that we need a little more space." "Space?" "Can't you think of something a little more original than that?" "I'm just trying to be honest." "Well, then, you're a pretty boring person if like - catch-phrases from break-up 101 are your idea of the truth." "I like you so much." "Oh great." "You like me!" "So I don't have to feel bad then." "That's super." "I'm a sweet guy - a fun fellow to have Margaritas and - hang with for a week or so but - not somebody to see like on a day-to-day basis." "Why are you doing this?" "William - you're going to be fine." "Oh fuck you!" "You're a spoiled, selfish - cold coward." "I've told people to fuck off, and I know how important you feel." "I've been you, and I know that you suck!" "Guys, can I borrow the cone?" "The morning Sarah returned from Boston," "I was singing a different tune." "It went something like, I'm sorry." "Rise and shine, sleepyhead." "Or, I'm going to huff and puff, and blow your house down." "Sarah:" "Stop." "Thanks a lot, guys." "Oh, come on." "How do you like my outfit?" "It's my "I'm sorry" outfit." "Look, I have to go to work." "I know;" "can I walk with you?" "Are you Native American?" "Sarah:" "What?" "William:" "Nothing." "Okay, so here's the deal." "I'm going to do the talking, alright?" "Because I have some things to say - and because you don't look particularly talkative." "Not that you don't look good - because you do, that's why I asked the thing about being Native American." "Anyway, I'll start the talking, and if you want to jump in, just say " ""Hey, I got something to say. "" "And five'll get you ten that I'll say " ""Go right ahead. "" "Okay, I know what you're thinking," ""God, this guy is such a creep." "Two days ago, he says all kinds of nasty things, and leaves my apartment in a huff - and now, he wakes me up in a tuxedo, howling at my window - and expects me to think it's funny. "" "Well, let me tell you, missy, you are absolutely right." "I don't even like myself." "So what?" "The suit gets no comment?" ""Why are you wearing that?"" ""Oh, you're so zany. "" "Or maybe, "I can't believe you're such a cuckoo-head. "" "Nothing, huh?" "You're just going to keep walking." "Okay, that's cool." "You want to know why I wore it?" "An attempt to make movies more realistic." "I like to embrace the cliche." "Hey, this is 'A' material." "Okay, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "I fucked up." "I got upset." "You just switched gears on me, you know." "You got to admit that." "Look, I know you're getting a little scared that maybe we went too far, too fast - and that's cool." "It's just you got to give me a minute to get the idea, you know?" "I don't know how to love you right." "You got to let me know." "See, this is the way I see it, if the attempt is all - then I can promise you everything." "Look, I don't want a boyfriend." "I own the corner" "You look so pale" "William:" "Hey, it's me." "Sorry for calling so late but " "I thought maybe if you wanted, we could go get a cup of coffee." "Sarah:" "Yeah." "No, I think I'm too tired." "It is late." "Sarah:" "Yeah, I should go to bed." "William:" "How you been?" "Sarah:" "Fine." "William:" "What have you been doing?" "Sarah:" "Where are you?" "William:" "I'm in The Village." "Sarah:" "Oh." "Are you going to be singing anytime soon?" "Sarah:" "No." "Listen, I should go to bed." "William:" "Yeah, of course." "I'll talk to you later, then." "Sarah:" "Sleep well." "Okay, yeah, you too." "Sarah:" "Goodbye William." "Bye." "William:" "I held onto the phone like it was a piece of her." "Everything was disintegrating so quickly." "I knew I was the dopey guy standing out in the cold, staring up at a warm window." "Hell, I wished it would rain." "It's just so hard to miss someone who only lives eight blocks away." "Jesse:" "At a certain point, William, your father not calling you on your birthday, becomes your problem, not his." "I didn't expect him to call." "He loves you very much, I'm sure of this." "Why are we talking about him?" "I just think it's too painful for him - to remain in contact with you." "Why are you giving this to me?" "Who brought him up?" "I'm sorry." "Why do you think she doesn't like me?" "Who?" "What, that girl?" "Because there's something wrong with her." "No, Mom." "There's something wrong with me." "What do you think it is?" "You respect people more when they don't respect you." "That, and you didn't go to college." "Those are your only two flaws." "Do you want to hear about my new boyfriend?" "I suppose that doesn't interest you." "He's very funny." "His name is Harris." "I think you'll be astonished at how many times you fall in love." "I just " "I just don't seem to have - the first idea about how men - are supposed to behave." "It seems like I don't have - certain qualities that I should, you know?" "I mean, I'm sure most men don't sit around getting all chatty - with their moms." "You know what I'm saying?" "What are other men like?" "Are they like me?" "I don't know." "Hey, how come I'm not baptized?" "I mean weren't you the least bit - concerned with the state of my soul?" "Listen, William, there was nothing anybody at Fort Worth First Methodist could do, for the state of your soul." "Oh, forget it;" "it's not important." "Look, listen to me." "You've been ignoring me since you were fifteen, and I was thinking that a good birthday resolution might be to change your attitude about your poor old Ma." "Don't be so moody." "A lot of bad shit is going to happen to you." "People are not going to love you back." "And if you're serious about becoming an artist that's the first thing you should learn." "And listen - you're going to die, okay?" "Relatively soon, okay?" "So, that being said, you have nothing to worry about." "No matter what happens in this life, you have two options - only two options." "You can handle things well and be happy, or, you can handle them poorly and be miserable." "It's up to you." "Look William, I'm disappointed." "I didn't escape Fort Worth to sell college text books in Trenton, New Jersey." "That was not my goal." "I thought my life was going to be so much more interesting than it's turned out, but what am I going to do about it, huh?" "The root of depression is being too self-involved, and the cure - is to read - okay." "So, read some books." "Don't take yourself so seriously." "Exercise." "Take that gorgeous, sexy body outside and move it." "Here, and open your present." "You got to lose those cowboy boots, William." "I worked too hard to get us out of Texas for you to go around in those things." "The long night is coming" "I hear the way" "I feel the crying moment" "But oh, baby " "Phone machine:" "Please leave a message after tone." "Sarah:" "Hi William, Happy Birthday." "I know your birthday is today and I have some presents." "Today has been a really bad day for me." "If you have some time, maybe you could come by tonight or tomorrow or " "William:" "Hi." "Yeah, that'd be great." "No, I can come by right now actually." " Hi." " Hey." "Oh - close your eyes." "I have to finish wrapping." "Can I open my eyes now?" "Yeah." "So, you want a beer?" "Sure." "You can put on some music, if you like." "Okay." "How was your day?" "Oh fine." "How was your day?" "Crazy." "I've been ridiculously busy lately." "Yeah?" "So, what are these?" "Presents." "Okay" " I guess I should open them, huh?" "Yeah." "They're for candles." "Cool." "Look at this." " You did this?" " Yeah." "Wow!" "Why did you give this to me?" "I thought you'd like it." " I do." " Good." "It's beautiful." "Do you want to keep seeing me?" "I don't think that now is the right time." "Then, why did you give it to me?" "What do you mean?" "What am I supposed to do with it?" "Hang it on my wall?" "I don't know, I thought you just " "You think I want to hang a picture on my wall to remind me of a girl who doesn't want to see me anymore?" "Look, I warned you that I didn't think I could do this." "Yeah." "You also made me promise - to force you to kiss me." "You can't do that." "I came to New York to be on my own " "Oh, yeah, yeah;" "I know the story." "I'm just trying to be honest." "Well, I wish you'd lie a little it." "Oh, you want me to lie?" "No, I want you to fuckin' appear." "We're apart for four stupid weeks, and I come back to this." "Listen, if you really care " "What did I do?" "I didn't do anything wrong." "If you really care about me, you need to take the time to understand me." "Oh, this is my fault?" " It's no one's fault." " Well, that's debatable." "Look, I told you - this was going to be really difficult " "Would you just shut up with the corny, fuckin' lines?" "You don't like me anymore." "I was amusing for a minute, and now, I should go away - and hang your fucking picture on the wall!" "I mean, what am I supposed to do here, huh?" "You know, I've done what you're doing." "I've said the shit that you're saying, and I know it's a lie." " It's not a lie." " It's a fucking lie." "Well, maybe you lied to people, but I am trying to be honest " "Would you please stop saying that?" " Saying what?" " Honest!" "Look, you don't love me." "I could be any girl." "I care about you." "You made me very happy, but I can't hear myself think - when you're in the room." "Everything is a big game of pretend with you." "Let's pretend to get married, let's pretend I'm going to be a country star - just pretend you're someone else remember?" "No!" "Nothing is casual with you." "Everything is a fuckin' big deal." "No!" "No, no, no, no, no!" "Only you." "Only you're a big deal." "Stop it!" "Okay, I'm handling this pretty badly, aren't I?" "Listen, I'm a great guy." "You love me." "Look at me." "Would you please look at me?" "I'm right here;" "look at me." "It's my birthday." "What?" "What?" "Okay, I'll go." "I'm sorry." "I'm really sorry." "I want to make this easy on you." "I don't want to be pathetic, I really don't." "But do you think you could lie to me a little?" "Or, let me sleep here next to you - something to make this a little bit easier?" "I cannot do that." "Yes, you can." "God!" "I feel like you're playing some sick practical joke on me." "I'm sorry you feel like that." "Would you please talk to me like a person?" "Look, what you're going through has happened to me before, and once I got through it " "I was grateful because I was so much stronger." "Strong?" "I am fucking strong." "Where did you go?" "Samantha:" "What a fuckin' bitch." "She didn't seem like your type anyway." "William:" "You think anybody who isn't like you isn't my type." "That's not true." "She just seemed a little crunchy." "I heard she wouldn't fuck you." "William:" "That's not true; we had sex." "Yeah, I didn't believe it when I heard it." "I mean, I couldn't imagine - you not fucking anybody." "William:" "She wouldn't sleep with me for a while." "Why not?" "She have some kind of hang-up?" "Samantha:" "I think I was there, but it was hard because " "I mean I was walking and talking " "Okay, so here's what happened " "It was pre-school - and we went to this park where I grew up, and I was wearing this very special vest - that my grandmother had just made for me." "It had like a little purple unicorn on the pocket." "It was the very first time that I wore it and my very first memory - is of feeding the ducks that are in the pond, in the lake in Kalispel, Montana." "So, this Sarah girl, she doesn't love you back?" "No." "Are you sad?" "Whatever." "Let's go to bed." "I don't have a bed." "Really - why?" "William:" "Because I hucked it out the window." "Why?" "I didn't like it anymore." "God!" "Do you have any condoms?" "William:" "Yeah." "Just give me a minute;" "I'll be right back." "You got to go." "What are you talking about?" "I'm not doing too well, and I don't think you want to be here." "Yes, I do." "Look, just go." "I really can't deal with anybody right now." "I'll call you tomorrow." "No, just leave me the fuck alone, okay!" "Then, leave me the fuck alone." "What light through yonder window breaks?" "It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!" "Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon." "Vince:" "Hello?" "Hello?" "William:" "Be not her maid since she is envious, her vestal livery is but sick and green, and none but fools do wear it!" "Cast it off." "It is my lady, it is my love " "Oh, that she knew she were." "Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand." "That I might touch that cheek." "O, speak again, bright angel." "Man:" "Hey Romeo, shut up, okay?" "Hey Sarah, you can't say I didn't go out with a bang;" "you can't say that!" "Phone machine:" "Please leave message after tone." "Sarah:" "William if you want to talk to me this is not how to do it." "I'm scared to leave my apartment." "Please don't come by anymore." "William:" "Hey - hey, I'm sorry." "I don't mean to scare you." "I just wanted to say 'Goodbye' with the best words I know." "Sarah:" "Yeah, well, goodbye." "Fuck!" "Shit." "Fuck!" "Vince:" "Come on, William." "William!" "Come on,come on!" "Alright now, the Cowboys play on Sunday, alright?" "I do not want you to miss it." "This is our year." "Don't get sad, okay." "When you're thirteen, I'll ask your mother if you can come live with me." "Come on, come on." "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" "Alright now, listen to me, we love you, okay." "Faye:" "Hey kiddo, I packed a few snacks in your bag." "You're going to like 'em." "Alright, listen to me now - never stray too far from Texas in your heart." "William:" "That was the last time I ever saw my dad." "I thought about calling him and telling him" "I had never strayed too far from Texas in my heart." "And what a crock of shit that advice was." "Jesse:" "I'm glad you decided to show up, William but I need you to get your act together." "Take a shower, change your clothes." "I'm making an early Christmas dinner for Harris and his mom tonight." "Harris and I are going to Hawaii for Christmas, so you'll have to get along without me." "I'm sure you'll miss me terribly." "William:" "Who's Harris?" "He's my boyfriend, William." "I told you that." "He's living with you now?" "I've told you all this." "Sarah:" "Hi it's me." "Leave a message." "Hey listen, it's me, William." "Are you there?" "Are you there?" "Okay, sorry for calling." "Give me a call when you get a chance." "Merry Christmas." "Sarah:" "Hi, it's me." "Leave a message." "Hey, sorry for leaving you another message." "I just wanted to tell you that I know you might not want to talk to me and - if that's the case, don't worry about it." "We'll talk when the time is right." "Alright." "See you." "Sarah:" "Hi, it's me." "Leave a message." "Listen, it's me again." "This is pretty absurd, huh?" "I just know that you're not going to call me back, and you should." "I mean, I'd like you to;" "that'd be nice." "Not that you give a rat's ass about being nice, because I know you don't." "It's just that I went out with this other girl a couple of nights ago " "Samantha; remember her?" "I mean, I know that you don't like her because - she doesn't spout out a lot of intellectual bullshit, but - she's real smart." "You shouldn't think that just because a girl's pretty, she's not smart, because that's not the case." "I don't know, it always seemed to me that you had a lot of hang-ups about shit like that." "Maybe it's just that you try to be, like, all - extra smart because you're not that pretty." "But you shouldn't do that because you know," "I think you're pretty." "Not that you're, like, fantastically interested in - receiving emotional advice from me or anything but " "Samantha is definitely an attractive woman - and she's smart." "And, we had a good time." "It gave me some distance on us, you know?" "It made me miss you less." "Not like I'm some crazy maniac missing you or something, so - don't get all freaked out and call the cops." "Just call me back, okay?" "That'd be cool, you know?" "I mean, I'm aware I'm not first on your list - of people to please right now, but - just give me a call." "I really need to talk to somebody." "You know what I was thinking the other day?" "Remember how you used to walk on the curb, and have me walk on the street, so that we could be the same height?" "Yeah, well, that's really fucked up." "You shouldn't do that." "I'm taller than you, and you should just face it." "Yeah, well - listen, I don't want to hang up right now, because I know as soon as I do," "I'm going to feel like a real moron." "So could you just please call me back - otherwise I'll probably kill myself." "I'm not going to kill myself." "You know, you really have no sense of humor whatsoever." "That always drove me crazy about you." "All right." "Call me back, okay?" "I'm going to hang up now." "Bye." "Sarah:" "William, you have to to calling." "Hey." "I thought you were probably at your mom's for Christmas or something." "Sarah:" "Christmas is still a week away." "Yeah." "I remember." "I just wanted to call you back, and tell you I was sorry for calling." "Sarah:" "You sound exhausted." "Why don't you get some rest?" "Because I can't sleep." "You know, I've been thinking about you a lot recently - more like non-stop." "Sarah:" "Well, I appreciate you thinking about me, but we shouldn't talk now, not for a long time." "Yeah, I think you're right!" "Or else, maybe I just want to agree on something." "Sarah:" "Let' agree on that, okay?" "Goodbye." "Samantha:" "All this time, I thought that secretly - you were a good person." "But you're not." "Priest:" "Let us enjoy the spirit of generosity." "The Peace of the Lord be with you." "Congregation:" "And also be with you." "Priest:" "I'd like to invite you to open your hearts - and shake hands with the people around you." "Merry Christmas." "Samantha:" "What is it with you?" "William:" "Oh, let's see." "I can't sleep." "I go to the bathroom about fifteen times an hour." "I wake up to a voice inside my head that calls myself a faggot - with every throbbing of my pulse." "I haven't seen my father since I was eight." "And, I'm 21 years old now, and I feel like I should have my shit together - but all I feel is everything coming apart." "And for about three minutes I believed - in destiny and that, you know, I had one." "But now, I'm " "I don't know, adrift." "I have no connection to anything." "Not people, not me - not you, not family, not the past, not the future, not anything - you know?" "I keep lookin' down the road" "Out the window, high and low" "The cold is risin' it's halfway gone" "Jesse:" "Merry Christmas, William." "I love Christmas morning, don't you?" "I mean, I know it's a pain in the ass for us to drive around like this, but your father " "Your Daddy is what people like to call 'a project'." "He wants to make me very small, and fit me in his pocket." "You're sweet." "Merry Christmas, William." "Isn't this fun?" "Do you think you're going to get a lot of good presents?" "I think so." "You know what I want?" "I want your daddy to stop being such a bully." "You don't bully women, William;" "it's not nice." "You want to be a cowboy, you can be a cowboy, but you be a gentleman cowboy." "Look you just be whatever you want." "Goddamn it." "Goddamn it." "Vince:" "Hey!" "Hey!" "No!" "Jesse:" "Stay in the car." "You hear me?" "You stay in this car." "Now, I told you not to be here!" "I told you not " "Vince:" "Fuck you!" " Leave him alone." " Hey buddy " "Merry Christmas, okay." "This is from Santa." "That's it." "Okay, goodbye." "Merry Christmas." "Vince:" "Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too." "Jesse:" "Buddy, what' going on?" "I love that stupid girl so much, Mom." "I fell in love with your father because of the way he told a joke." "That doesn't always work." "My point is, it's all pretty arbitrary." "Your whole life, people are going to ask you to be weak, William." "They'll practically beg you." "But all anybody really wants from you, is for you to be strong." "Look " "It's a baptism - by ice." "Is it written in the stars" "Were we've been or where we are?" "And where we're going" "I don't know" "Faye:" "Hello." "Hi, I'm William." "William!" "Wow." "You're all grown up." "Yeah." "Is my Dad here?" "Yeah." "Come on;" "come on in." "It's okay;" "I'll wait here." "You sure?" "Okay, one second." "Vincent!" "Hey, Vince?" "Vince:" "Yeah, what?" "What?" "What is it?" "Hey there, William, how you doing?" "William:" "Good." "Well, come on inside." "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "Sure, come on in." "No, would you mind stepping outside for a second?" " Vince:" "Sure." " Faye:" "Hey, Thomas." "Let me get my jacket, alright?" " William:" "You watching the game?" " Vince:" "Yeah, yeah." " William:" "Cowboys?" " Vince:" "Yeah, yeah." "William:" "They any good this year?" "No, no, they suck." "I don't really follow them too much any more." "No?" "Well they're kind of " "Sweetie, Lisa, get out of here, darling." "Go back to the kitchen." "So listen " "Could I bum one of those?" "Remember that time we were shooting those cans?" "No." "Behind the supermarket?" "Okay." "Yeah well, you said that day that - when I was thirteen, I could come live with you." "You said that a bunch of times." "Yeah." "Yeah well, my thirteenth birthday's come and gone - and you never even called me." "In point and fact " "I haven't heard from you at all in a pretty long time." "I'm sorry." "Well apology not accepted, you know what I mean?" "Yeah, I know what you mean." "Look William - it was so hard on you when you were little when we would " "You know, and your mother - she " "You know, and then, I got remarried and " "Every family " "Can we talk about something else?" "Yeah." "I fell in love with this girl, but she broke up with me." "Yeah?" "She kind of broke my heart, I think." "That'll happen." "That happen to you?" "Sure, sure, I guess." "Did my mom break your heart?" "I don't know." "That was a long time ago." "Well, you got over it, huh?" "I guess." "Well, good for you." "I just feel like I might not get over it, you know?" "Like maybe I'm too sensitive or something." "Well, maybe you won't." "You know what I mean?" "You'll move on, but - if it hurt real bad, then it'll scar - or, like a bone fracture, or something, it'll ache when it rains." "Sounds like some real deep advice - coming from a guy who bailed on his son." "I'm just doing my best here." "Well it's not very good, your best." "No, no, it's not." "I was in a movie." "I bet you didn't know that." "No, a movie?" "Yeah, I'm going to be a big fat fuckin' movie star." "And people are going to ask you if you're related to me, and you're going to have to say " ""Yup, he's my son that I never seen. "" "Well, that would be great." "Why are you being so - I don't know." "How do you want me to be?" "I don't know." " I wanted you to call me, that's all." " I'm sorry." "You know, I thought - I thought it would be better for you " "Goddamn, it is bitch cold." "I thought it was supposed to be hot in Texas." "Yeah, it's the Hottest State." "What?" "Fort Worth is the Hottest State I know." "My dad lives there, my grandma too, most every grandparent except a few." "I like it there." "Boy, is it hot." "What's that?" "It's a poem you wrote when you were a kid." "Oh yeah?" "Does that make you feel better that you remember some poem?" "No, it doesn't." "I loved you so much, and then " "Hey, what have I got to do to get this girl back?" "You can't will anybody to do anything." "What do I have to do?" "What was her name?" "Sarah." "Did she ever love you?" "I don't know." "I think so." "Don't do anything, just be cool, you know." "Just wait;" "she'll call you." " She won't." " Yes, she will." "No, she won't." "Well then, fuck her;" "you know." "People who give up on love aren't worth loving." "What's that say about you?" "I don't know what it says about me." "But, seeing you here today - says a hell of a lot about you." "Dave:" "Do you what to do it in the same key?" "Hi." "Hi." "Do you want to sit down?" "Sure." "Sarah:" "We've been away for a little while - doing some tour of some Canadian Universities." "And I don't know, I thought it might be a good idea if we said, 'Hello. '" "It might be." "How are you?" "You know - fine - good!" "How about you?" "Like a cat, always nervous." "Don't worry." "I'm not going to break anything." "No, about performing." "My mom is comin tonight, and she's so ridiculous." "William:" "Sounds like a big night." "Sarah:" "Yeah." "I just want to tell you that - the week I spent with you in Mexico was probably - the best six days of my whole life, and " "I'm sorry it all didn't go down the perfect way." "But when I think about the time we spent together now " "I am grateful - for what it did for me." "I don't know, I just think that you're too intense." "You are - I mean, you're very intense." " You think I'm intense?" " Yeah." "Really?" "I thought " "I don't know what I thought but something bad." "'Intense' sounds good." "I'm glad it was you." "If somebody's going to - break your heart, you want it to be - you know, somebody like you." "You've always had a very deluded sense of how interesting I am." "Yeah, well, I like you." "And I didn't break your heart." "Your heart was broken long before you ever met me." "Oh, give yourself a little credit." "Whatever." "How's the movie business?" "It' good." "I'm - starting a new one this summer." "Oh wow, cool." "Dave:" "Hey Sarah, you want to try one?" "Sure." "Are you going to stick around for the show?" "Yeah sure, I'll be around." "Okay." "My heart is gold." "What will you give me for it?" "You watch your footsteps in a dream" "You climb a staircase and turn a key" "And walk in through the open door" "Where you once lived years before" "Years before" "Then it all goes just as fast" "You reach your hand out" "To touch the past, touch the past" "William:" "I remember, as a kid," "I used to walk down the street, twenty or so paces behind my mother, so that people would think I was an orphan." "I wanted to believe it myself." "Not because I wished my parents dead or anything but more because orphans were tough." "They could handle anything." "And because I wanted to be free from this emotional chain reaction that seemed to be sparking off like a string of firecrackers since the day I was born." "I felt that again only now, I didn't have to pretend." "It was real." "I was 21- an adult, and an orphan at last"