"I'm gonna kill you!" "Why you running away" "I got you a birthday present." "Thats ok you didn't have to get me anything" "I got you some bark and your gonna eat it" "Cool, I was gonna eat bark anyway" "No you weren't" "Yeah see, all the things you were gonna give me" "I was already planning on doing it." "Hmm. so good" "Were you planning on not being able to breathe?" "Yes" "Listen to me winselstein" "Nobody likes you, Nobody will ever like you" "Do you understand that?" "Come on lets split." "Goodbye loser" "Mom I'm home" "Mom?" "Happy birthday little man" "I had to work a double shift again" "But i love you very much, mom" "Ps. dinner is in the fridge and i got you your favorite cake its on the counter" "combine the mix of 2 tsb of oil and 2 eggs." "We're out of eggs, so you need to go get them." "Preheat the oven to 350..." "Grease some flour on 9x13 inch cake pan." "And then pour the batter into the pan." "Careful not to spill." "Hello my young friends." "I'm Rance Holloway" "You've probably seen me on the Murph Griffith show." "Or live on stage at the fabulous resort and casino in Las Vegas." "That's were I perform such tricks as.." "Skateboarding ghost." "The amazing cordless telephone." "And my very famous mouth burn solution." "Wow." "Hahahaha" "Do you like that?" "Of course you did." "That trick just blew your mind because that's what magic does" "It blows peoples minds." "Welcome to the amazing world of magic." "The world were you can ashtonish and enchant those around you." "Because everyone loves a magician." "And if you follow my instrcutions." "They'll love you too." "Lets begin now with a simple illusion." "Where we pull pennies out of our nose." "Alakazam!" "How did you do that?" "A magician never tells his secrets" "Oh, OK." "It's a rubber thumb." "Oh, cool!" "I'm Anton Marvelton" "Burt Wonderstone" "You're that kid always in the nurses office right?" "Not always." "Sometimes they send me to the hospital." "What are those for?" "This one is for my allergies and this one is for my asthma." "and this is testosterone." "My doctor says i'm dangerously close to being a girl." "Do you know any other tricks?" "I have a whole magic kit at home." "Behold." "and empty top hat." "perfectly normal." "Alakazam!" "Wow!" "Your like a boy witch." "Thank you." "Hey" "Why won't you put a plastic bag of water" "In the hidden compartment?" "Water would come out instead of confetti." "Do you want to be my parter?" "More than anything." "Ok," "I think we should star writing down our trick ideas." "Like in a notebook." "Yes!" "Like an enchanted notebook with leather and buckles." "All I have is a regular notebook." "That will work." "So then our first trick should be..." "Awesome!" "Tada!" "Burt." "Burt" "I want you to come work for me." "here at ballys." "But i need you to do one thing for me." "I need you to dump Anton." "He's on his own leave" "No offense." "None taken." "I'm sorry Doug, Anton and I are a team." "Always have been." "Always will be." "Fair enough." "Welcome to ballys boys!" "Congradulations." "Ladies and gentlemen." "The incredible Burt and Anton." "Good evening ladies and gentlemen." "I'm Burt Wonderstone." "and I'm Anton Marvelton" "But of course you already knew that" "What you may not know is that Burt and I have been magical friends and partners since we were young boys" "We always knew there was always something a lttle bit different about our friendship." "Remember our game of hangman Burt?" "I sure do Anton but we didn't play it quit the way the other kids did" "Ladies and gentlemen our beautiful assistant Nicole." "Hold on, Hold on Anton." "We're here to do magic not Nicole." "Right now its time for" ""Hangman"" "And that's why we call it a magical friendship" "Night after night!" "after night!" "Is like a magic hell." "Taking anymore time to switch out of there." "Stand out there and cloak like an asshole." "Give me a break Burt" "I've been doing the switch the same way every night for the last 10 years." "You're just impatient." "I am impatient!" "Anton because I have to share clothes with a sweaty walrus man." "You're just impatient becuase you want to get the show over with." "Can we get a towel for him please?" "Dab it down." "Well i sweat because i work hard." "Take my phone!" "You think it's easy putting on your safety harness in the dark?" "would you rather I let the noose just snap your neck off." "Ok, can we do this one show without this bitchfest." "Oh I'm sorry, are we hurtting your performance as a walking manikin?" "That's it you know what?" "i quit quit quit" "I quit." "Go get a job a circus so lame!" "Dammit Burt that's the second one this month." "Oh it's not like they are hard to replace?" "case in point you." "Yes you, what is your name?" "Jame." "You know the tricks?" "Yes why do you need something?" "30s until the Burtlocker" "From now on you're nicole." "Oh, wow Mr. Wonderstrone that is a tremendous honor." "but I really don't think I'm ready to take on that" "If I'm not really rehersed I wouldn't be several years." "That is not an outfit!" "You're gonna be great." "Don't worry." "I have a fear." "That is tight!" "What she has no ribs?" "You took her hair?" "You know folks?" "When you grow up as a magician." "The 1st escape you learn is generally from a school locker." "The jocks hated us because we always stole their girlfriends away from them using the power of magic" "I like the blonde." "Makes you look cute." "Thanks." "So i finally got this new bed that I ordered." "What?" "sorry i'm just trying to concentrate." "Behind you it's an uptupple king biggest bed in Vegas." "Easily sleeps 2 dozen adults." "If the phone rings and i'm on the other side of the bed" "I can't get to it." "There's no way." "Ah!" "God that was close." "Point is it's a huge bed." "and I was wondering would you like to see it tonight?" "Nakedly." "Oh, I don't think that is such a good idea." "Since we just started working together." "Listen Nicole." "It's Jane" "Now that you know this is your first show and this is all very new and exciting." "But when you have done this 5000 times." "You will find that having sex with me is the only way to mitigate the miserable drudgery of your existence." "My point is this lets just have sex." "It's not gonna happen." "Are you a lesbian Nicole?" "Is every women who doesn't sleep with you a lesbian?" "No I've slept with plenty of lesbians." "Wow, I've worshipped you for 10 years and you just made me hate you in 60 seconds." "Right there." "Looks like I'm the one who scored this time you dumb jock." "Ladies and gentlement our most famous illusion." "You'll know where we are going with this one" "The one we call." "Man head." "Lady body." "Alright, here we go, here we go." "In order to accomplish this impossible feat of impossibility." "We are going to need a female volunteer from the audience." "Female volunteer." "Lets see who we have?" "Anyone?" "Who will it be?" "Man head." "Lady body." "Would you care to join me on stage?" "How bout a round of a plause." "I can't beleive I'm really making out with Burt Wonderstone." "It's suppose to be a thrill of a lifetime for you." "Your place is so beautiful." "This is not my place." "This is my place." "Oh my god." "Oh my god, it's so beautiful." "Yes it is, Look at you?" "Look at me." "My god look at your costume." "Yes." "Posters." "Oh my god there you are." "And here I am." "Yes come with me please." "Would you do me a kindness and jump up on the bench please." "Legs facing that way." "arms as if your holding a giant pumpkin." "Good" "So Miranda, what are your hopes and dreams?" "I'd really love to own my own hair salon." "Thats great your intresting follow me please." "There will be no biting or scratching anything that can leave a mark" "This is a standard release form acknowledging that you are over 18 years of age." "and you are willingly consenting to the sex acts that we are about to commit." "That's alot of paper work." "There's alot of sex acts." "Oh my god It's huge!" "biggest bed in Vegas." "Hey Jimbo" "Hey almost sprinkled the infield there." "You've done such a great job today, I just want to reward you for your excellent service today with this $100" "Your just gonna turn it into a $1 bill when i take it." "I don't even know where thats coming from." "Who would do that?" "That's mean." "A $1 bill is a horrible tip, I'm giving you $100" "Oh my gosh you got me again." "Yes I did." "You never learn." "He never learns." "I'm sorry" "Hey Jim, I think you got something in your pocket." "Thank you Mr. Marvelton." "Oh look who's here Burt." "Anton, Lucius Belvedere, Rick the Implausible" "This is a retreat." "I can't remember the last time i saw you two together off stage." "We're both busy thats all." "We see each other everyday." "So how's the show going?" "Not so good." "Good." "Pretty good." "Its OK." "I'm in the lobby doing the 2-2:30 shift." "Wednesdays through well just Wednesdays plus i'm doing some webisodes drum up business that way." "What the hell is a webispode?" "Are you being serious?" "It's a show that you do on the internet" "Just like being on TV or movie except you don't go through all the hassle with people seeing it." "What happen to your hand?" "Oh one of my bengal tigers have been getting a little bitty lately." "That's why we're comedy magicians not a big cat magician I wanna kill on stage." "Not have some tiger rip my hand, I don't wanna get killed." "I wanna kill on." "You know what?" "Just forget it." "It's tough, It is tough. it's tough." "It was funnier in my head." "If i spend more than an hour away from my cats." "They forget who I am and attack me." "Sounds like my wife and kids." "If my wife and kids you know I meant my ferrets." "You know if I had a wife and kids you know I wasn't just home alone." "What's going on out there?" "eating popsicle after popsicle" "I don't know we should probably go check it out right like a group, a bunch of friends." "Appreciate it, seems like an open mided crowd." "but things are about to happen out here that may be difficult for you to process." "If you're at all screamish." "I encourage you to shelter inside the casinos." "Move along." "or just turn it off." "Now give me a moment." "Congradulations." "Truly brave." "I only hope your ready to face the fire!" "Get it off!" "He totally nailed you with that fireball." "Sorry." "Guilty pleasure." "You're a really good sport." "Whatever that means." "Would you like to help me with a trick?" "Sure." "Ooh, now he done it." "Who is this hot mess?" "It's Steve Grey, the street magician." "That guys a magician?" "He doesn't even have a costume." "Pick a card." "Show it to the crowd, then you." "Now take the marker from your pocket." "and write your mother's name on that card." "But I don't have a..." "Oh snap!" "Pen." "What's with all the cameras." "He's shooting his cable show, Steve Grey brain rapist." "Brain rapist?" "Yeah." "You live in a bubble or something?" "Come on, come on." "Dorothy, his mother's name is Dorathy." "Pretty name." "I'm gonna take Dorothy and slide her to the center of the deck." "and put her back in my pocket." "Now punch me in the face." "What?" "Punch me in the face as hard as you can." "Not gonna do that." "Of course." "Sometime the roles we're force to play in life are difficult to understand." "Like your mother Dorothy..." "Who for the good of sailors everywhere lived the life of a whore." "Whorothy, that's what they called her." "Surrender whorothy!" "You're not in Kansas anymore, whorothy." "No,No,No,No." "Jesus!" "Is that a real plant?" "That looked like a real punch." "It's OK!" "I've already forgiven him." "I provoked him, in the weakest pain body." "Wow, that swelled up pretty quick." "Better let the pressure off." "Better." "Seems like there's something in there." "Let me just... 1,2,3!" "I wonder what this could be?" "It's the card!" "Oh thats nuts!" "As it was in the beginning... so shall it be in the end." "I tried to warn them." "That's crazy man." "No, No!" "Hello, I haven't seen you around." "I don't beleive I have had the pleasure." "We caught your thing out on the street, and uh... it was disgusting, pretty good." "Good, bad..." "I don't eat from that tree." "Hey, any chance I could get you to sign something for me?" "Oh, I don't ususally sign autographs but i suppose i can make an acception." "It's a release form." "Just in case we caught you in the background." "I don't want to pixelate your face." "Do I need to sign a release form?" "No I can just pixelate your face." "So anywho, we have a show over at Ballys..." "And I could get you some comps if you would like to take a look at our acts." "We do this one trick its a man head lady body." "Tell you what..." "Pretend I"m still here and tell me all about it." "From Chicago "Brain rapist"" "The world record for stairing was 24 hours." "but I've been doing it for over 3 days now." "And frankly I'm bored." "So I'm gonna spice things up with a little pepper spray." "Bring it." "You see me blinking?" "I'm not blinking" "For a very long time." "He's like a god, a god of pepper spray." "He certainly is not human." "He broke the record!" "Here at Ballys, you'll be pamperd like an enormous baby." "There's a hair dryer and ironing board in every room." "And if you like steak houses." "You'll love Ballys signature steak house." "Ballys steakhouse." "And after dinner check out The Incredible Burt and Anton." "In their own Burt and Anton Theatre." "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'm Burt Wonderstone." "And I'm Anton Marvelton." "Of course you already knew that." "In order to achieve this incredible feat of impossibility..." "We will need a female volunteer from the audience who will that be?" "Who will the female volunteer be?" "Alright." "Nope." "Your a dude." "Yes 2 million dollars." "2.5 million." "OK, I'm sorry about that guys." "How are ya?" "I am incredible." "Wow, look how big Judus got?" "Yeah." "How old is he now?" "I dont know." "But I tell you what." "That kid, that kid is your biggest fan." "Wow, love it!" "Unfortunate I'm starting to think he's your only fan." "What?" "Your ticket sales suck." "Well, we have the following." "You need a younger crowd, OK?" "Have you heard of this Steve Grey guy?" "Oh god, let me tell you about Steve Grey." "All that guy does is mumble and cut himself anybody can do that." "My niece does that." "But he's getting the national following between the ages of 25 and 45." "They're calling him the future of magic." "Would you like to see his latest stunt?" "Alright." ""Rapist"" "For 12 long days he's held his urine." "No!" "Be there for the final hour of Steve Gray's incredible stunt." ""Holding it in"" "Is there a fountain over there?" "seriously could we turn that off?" "Thats not fair." "Live on intense TV." "I'm sure this is normal but my legs are shutting down." "What is going through your mind, right now?" "I really have to pee, Richard." "He's made it this far, but will he last?" "He should be dead right now he's got more urine than blood." "so join us this Friday at 9/8c live on intense TV." "A magician?" "You call that a magician?" "You actually enjoy that?" "I don't enjoy any of this shit." "Alright, Burt..." "This is the brochure for my new signature hotel." "now this hotel is the same as all the other hotels, but I'm going to be charging 70% more for everything." "You know why I can do that?" "Because it's shinier?" "Shut up." "Because its new." "and people love new." "And when people love something it becomes valuable." "So new equals value." "Do you understand whai I'm saying?" "You've been doing the same shit since i hired you." "You even come on stage to that same goddam song" "It's called "Abracadabra" and it is considered a modern classic." "It's shit." "I agree with him, Burt there's no reason we couldn't do something big, headline grabbing." "I am not holding my piss!" "Steve Gray already did that!" "He owns that, he owns it, you need to do something else something fresh." "I suppose I could hold my poop." "I'll have a large meal, I'll eat some yogurt and granola and I'll hold my poop, for 24 hours." "What is wrong with him?" ""Will Burt poop?"" ""Will it happen?"" ""Will he crap his pants?"" "I think I've got something." "Now why do you call it the "Hot Box?"" "Well the Vegas sun effectively turn the pexy glass box into an oven." "we estimate the interior temperature may hit 200 degrees." "And you and Burt Wonderstone plan to stay in the box an entire week?" "That's right,reporter, hello." "Excuse us." "What are you wearing?" "My magician's costume because I am a magician." "The whole point of this is to update our act." "You need to go change" "No this is Vegas baby." "Look at this crowd." "This is what I'm talking about." "This is awesome I wish I could come up there with you." "You don't want to do that son, it will smell like acid." "Ok guys, we're ready for you." "Your gonna wear that?" "Yes." "It's velvet fur." "Your gonna die." "That's better." "Ladies and gentlemen we give you Nicole!" "Remember all you have to do is nothing." "Alright," "I just realized I wont be having sex for a week." "What are you doing?" "Breathing exercises, I've been doing them all week." "Your practicing breathing?" "Yes." "OK," "Thats a nice view." "Its a little smaller than I thought it would be." "OK, maybe if you'd have come to even one rehersal..." ""maybe if you'd come to one rehersal'" "Maybe you need to reherse in a box Anton I don't." "Fine." "Not this guy." "I can't breathe!" ", I can't breathe!" ",I can't breathe!" "Yes you can, yes you can." "Its so small." "Relaxe its only been 20 minutes." "Don't touch me!" "We're just having fun!" "Burt!" "Stop it!" "PLease, you have to calm down." "Your gonna break the box." "You dare me to break the box!" "Help us!" "Help me, help me." "Burt!" "Help me, I'm slipping." "This is the best trick ever!" "Breathe Burt!" "Don't panic!" "Shut up!" "Lower the crane!" "What are you doing!" "No, I'm climbing" "Wait,not there!" "Your killing me!" "Pull me up!" "No, Burt!" "Ouch, my ankles are broken." "Your face got me right in the knee," "I told you this was a bad idea." "This wasn't a bad idea Burt!" "It was a good idea, screwed up like a puppies ass." "Oh, really?" "This partnership is over, I quit" "What?" "Just because a couple of broken ankles?" "Some of his ribs are also broken." "You are so selfish!" "Me!" "?" "I can't beleive I put up with you for so many years!" "Know what?" "I don't need you." "Nobody comes to you anyway." "That's why the call it "The Increcible Burt and Anton"" "Not "The Incredible Burt and The Increcible Anton!"" "The Incredible applies to both of us!" "That is a hateful thing to say!" "Whatever!" "You're welcome to it!" "Good Luck, you incredible asshole!" "Your gonna be alright." "We don't know that yet." "Your the asshole." "Thats it?" "30 years of friendship Burt, say something" "Ladies and gentlemen... the hockbocks" "Uh?" "Come on!" "Jr move your little ass." "Burt, are you here?" "Oh hello Nicole, I'm taking a tub." "It's Jay and I'll just wait till your done." "No, no, no, its a bubble bath, you can't see anything." "Come on in." "OK, I just think we need to talk about everything cause I just..." "Oh my god!" "Burt!" "The bubbles have seem to dissipated." "There, thats not better." "Listen I just wanted to talk to you about the show." "The show goes on." "Well, its called "Burt and Anton a magicial friendship"" "Yes and?" "Anton is gone." "So?" "How are we gonna do your show without your partner?" "Nicole..." "Gee." "Let me explain something to you" "I dont need a partner, I never needed a partner certainly not Anton." "He was just a weight around my legs." "What did he ever bring to the equation?" "business, ideas, and friendships." "Better off without him." "You really think you can handle it on your own?" "Why won't you give it a shot because I can't watch this." "I don't need him, and I don't need you!" "Well good because you don't have either of us!" "And another thing, why don't you get in the tub?" "Oh god!" "Ladies and gentlemen I'm Burt Wonderstone." "But of course you already knew that." "Now what you may not know..." "Is that i've been magical friends with.." "each other since I was young boys." "I've always known that there was something different about my friendship... with myself." "Hey remember my games of "Hangman?"" "I sure do." "But I played them a little differently then the other kids." "Hold on, hold on cloak." "That was shit, that was shit." "I think that went pretty damn well." "It was a train reck!" "Thats is it!" "I'm pulling the plug!" "What are you talking about?" "You said you were going to do a new show.!" "That was the same show just wothout Anton!" "You can't be magical friends with yourself!" "Fine!" "Any hotel in Vegas would kill to have Burt Wonderstone." "Really?" "And besides I've put away a ton of money." "You put away almost nothing." "What are all these works?" "This is gobble-dee-gook, What about all my investments?" "Yes, Ok good, what about them?" "Here you go." "There's your imported Mexican spring water "Agua de Leche"" "That was a very classy product, high in packaging." "Its mexican water Burt." "You were selling the promise of diarrhea for $3 a bottle." "And how bout that millions you put into that hair brain theme restaurant?" "James Cameron's Titanic Cafe was a great idea." "Our only mistakes were..." "A" " Made the floor too slanty food kept sliding off the plates, and B" " Did not get James Cameron's permission." "Got to get the permission right?" "We talked about that." "its your lavish lifestyle don't you understand Burt?" "You spent $75,000 last month on bed sheets" "Are you telling me that I don't have any money?" "You have a savings bond here." "$200 that my nana gave to me." "Yea $200 in 1973" "Today is worth... $248" "Burt?" "Hello Nicole, how are you?" "Thats great." "I had to give up my suite..." "So I was wondering if I might be able to crash at your place for a couple of nights" "Thats probably not a good idea." "Well heres the thing, I have not eaten in 24 hours, because it turns out that room service does not deliver outside the hotel." "Yeah thats pretty standard." "I guess you could stay here for a night." "Do you know where I live?" "I am in need of rabbit food anf bird seed." "Wow you really were hungry." "I almost ate one of my rabbits." "But their riddle with lice" "Look at me Burt Wonderstone the greatest magician in the world." "sitting in this crummy little apartment eating slop." "What is this?" "Its pan roasted tilapia with squash blossoms." "Horrible gruel, I'd imagine this is what prisoners eat." "I'll get it, let me get that." "Thank you." "Oh thats not..." "OK." "Andale porfavor" "Thats me and my grandmother she was a showgirl." "I use to come visit her in Vegas and that's when I 1st saw your show with the golden nugget." "It so good." "I knew right then and there that I wanted to do magic." "Really?" "Yes." "Do you know what time is it?" "Its..." "Very good, give it back please." "I already did." "Fine, you can do a little slight of hand." "Oh you wallet." "Oh god you really are broek $5?" "I actually need that." "don't cumble it." "I have millions of ideas for tricks Burt." "Do you really think I wanted to be a magicians assisstant?" "Yes." "No!" "Burt!" "Make me your partner." "Poor sweet Nicole." "My name is Jane." "My act... is incredible intricate." "It is the product of years of studying and trainingand... no offense but you are a girl." "You gotta be kidding me?" "Not that girls can't do magic, its just that men are better at it." "You know what I don't want you staying here." "And I don't want to work with you." "What?" "Just because I said men are better than women?" "I said no offense, therfore you can not be offended." "Legally." "When I saw you 10 years ago, you loved what you did." "I could feel it all the way in the back row and now your... just a sad pathetic shell of what you once were." "and I don't want any part of it." "What are you doing?" "Did I misread the situation?" "Yes, badly, just get out!" "Fine." "I have many options." "Great." "It's so small!" "No i'm saying this bed is a size a dog would use or a small child." "I need a bigger bed." "This is your town Burt, tomorrow you take it back" "Steve Win please." "Burt Wonderstone." "Do you know when he'll be out of the meeting?" "Shhh, trying to talk to Steve Win." "Would you tell the Hilton family that Burt Wonderstone called." "Well can you have Mr. Trump call me back?" "I don't care which Hilton Nickie will do." "Well can you have Mrs. Trump call me back?" "Mr. Luxor please." "I don't understand." "I don't think so Burt, I'm not looking for a partner." "I've been a solo act for a million years and it's going pretty good." "David, how long have we been friends?" "We're not friends." "But if we teamed up it could bring your career to the next level." "Well I have a star on the Hollywood walk of fame." "Imagine this..." ""The Incredible Burt and David"" "No." "Alright." "Thank you, I can make alot of liquid disappear... but nothing makes liquid disappear better then Bounty paper towels." "They're the quicker picker-upper, 2 roles for $2.99." "Alright, Burt." "This should do it." "Thank you Terry, If I can do anything else for you, you have my card." "Got it." "My cell phone number is on there." "I will leave my ringer on vibrate." ""Escape to What?"" "I'm sure you've seen people walk on red hot coals." "But I doubt you've seen anyone." "spend the night." "On red hot coals." "You know what I say when I see a bed of... red hot coal?" "Bring it!" "Lucky guess!" "Now what your smelling is not BBQ ladies and gentlemen." "It is my actual flesh." "Jesus!" "See you in the morning!" "Somebody get me a wake up call or I'll sleep right through!" "under the 0 62." "This is the common room, where you will be doing the majority of your shit." "What kind of people end up here?" "Well most of them were performers on the strip." "loud singers, strippers..." "B-1 baby celebrity impersonators" "So this is where old entertainers go to and die." "And some not so old." "Hello, how are you?" "Whats your name?" "Grace." "Grace, I'm Burt." "Thats a lovely bracelet you have." "May I see that for a minute?" "Take your time." "The clasps is in the back." "Yes." "Oh, there we go." "Ooh, thank you." "Now watch this." "Where did it go?" "I don't know." "My grand daughter gave that to me." "What have you done?" "No, Its right here." "I have it, I have it, Its right here." "Oh." "I'm a magician." "I should have explained it to you earlier." "Oh my god." "Its alright." "So Earl, if you could do me a kindness and select 1 card only from this deck." "He's forcing it on you." "Show the cards to the other but do not show me the card." "Don't do it, hes a hack." "Put the card back in the deck do not show me the card." "I will cut the deck once." "He already knows that card." "Is this your card?" "No." "Really hmmm thats odd." "Part of the bid is you got to guess wrong twice and then tell you the card is in your pocket." "Thank you sir for ruining the trick." "Thank you for being so terrible." "Hey pal, cartigan." "What's your problem?" "I don't have a problem but you do." "Your shower shuffle is sloppy." "Your lips move when you do the Elmsley count." "and your pattern is boring and sad." "You want to try to dazzle people not put them to sleep for God's sake." "Really what else?" "People want to think what they're seeing is real magic not a magic show." "If you don't believe what your doing how are they going to believe it?" "You got no joy in you son." "You got no passion." "You may have seen these tricks a thousand times before but they haven't." "Oh my God." "Your Rance Holloway." "I had your magic kit as a kid, your the reason I became a magician." "I'll give you your money back." "Well I don't think you understand." "I am Burt Wonderstone." "I gather from that, I'm suppose to pass out now?" "Well I head lineded Ballys for the past 10 years." "I'm very very famous." "Well I quit the business and I don't read the trades." "And I'm late for my coma." "Perhaps we could just talk for a couple of minutes." "Bye." "This could win it!" "Tonight on the "Brain Rapist"" "Will there be blood?" "And that brings us to our profile tonight." "A man who left behind the gilts and glamour of Las Vegas stardom." "to follow a different path." "His name is Anton Marvelton." ""Combodia"" "I started operation "Presto" because I saw how much suffering there was in the world." "I got to the places were the children have neither food, nor clean water..." "And I give them magic." "And you also give them food and clean water?" "Well no, I'm a magician I bring magic." "H kids!" "Here you go." "Thats for you." "Here you go young man." "and for you." "Lets see that smile." "Don't worry I have plenty for everybody." "What have we here?" "Presto!" "That's not all." "Hey, here you go." "How about that?" "Hola seńorita." "there you are." "Thats for you , and you." "They should have fresh rabbit to practice magic with don't you agree?" "This area of the world is so troubled." "Not only is their life in proverty and no fresh eater." "but the locals are also hooked on a powerful drug called "Kratom leaf"" "And that knocks them unconscious for an hour." "I'm trying to get them off of Kratom and hook on magic instead." "Now your here in part because you had falling out with your longtime magic partner and best friends Burt Wonderstone." "He was my best friend." "He was like a brother to me." "And i'll always be greatful to him for showing me my first trick." "Do you remember what that was?" "A disappearing handkerchief." "Its the 1st trick everybody learns, but I tell you what when Burt did it that day." "It really blew my mind." "Rance, lets do some tricks." "Rance" "Ah!" "What are you doing here?" "I wanna do some tricks." "What are you doing in my room?" "Look what I brought, remember that?" "I don't care." "I thought that we could do some tricks together." "The whole point of the kit was so you could do the tricks without me." "Ooh, the dangling knot." "And the rings, remember the rings?" "How do these work again?" "If I show you how to do the rings will you leave me alone?" "We'll see." "Find out how I need to get the fingers, and there." "No good I can see the corner of the card." "Really?" "Yeah?" "and there?" "Yeah, but squeeze your fingers tighter." "Tighter!" "How in the hell did you ever perform in the Las Vegas stage?" "I did't really use card tricksI mostly worked with big giant props." "Big giant props." "Do you mind if I ask you something?" "If you feel you should." "What happen?" "I mean one day you were headlining at Ballys the next day you just disappeared." "Pass me the salt." "Do you remember why you became a magician?" "Because everybody loves a magician." "right." "How?" "How'd?" "What your feeling right now." "That sense of awe that sense of wonderment." "that sense that anything in the universe is possible." "Thats why you became a magician." "Thats why I became a magician." "Thats and the women." "Thats and the women." "So why did you just walk away?" "I was on the stage one day and all of a sudden it become roast... it becomes mechanical and I didn't like that feeling." "So I walked away and never looked back." "Honestly, how did you do that with the bird?" "It's partially deboned." "Hello?" "I'll be right there." "Burt, Burt how are you?" "Doug." "Come here." "How you holding up?" "Very well." "Have a seat." "So, like I said I wanted to talk to you about performing." "Yes, yes so what do you think?" "Triumphant return to Ballys?" "or perhaps a new show at your new hotel?" "actually I had something else in mind." "Alright." "See Judah is turning umm..." "I don't know." "He's turning something and we are having a little birthday party over at the house." "and when I asked him who he would like to perform at the party." "He told me he wanted you." "Really?" "I know, I didn't believe it either I..." "I offered him Miley Cyrus, and Justin Beiber and..." "Amandy patinket but no, no he told me he wanted you the great and wonderful Burt Wonderstone." "For 10 years I played the biggest room in Vegas." "I traveled the world, I dined with kings and now!" "I'll pay you $500 bucks." "I will do it!" "Good." "Doug Munny asked me to perform at his kids birthday party are you gonna do it?" "I will if you'll be my partner." "I don't know I'll have to shave." "Come on Rance it will be fun." "I see it in your eyes,when you do a tric." "Its like your 80 again." "I want to show you something that I think will change your mind." "I'm 75." "Ladies and gentlemen the human pińata!" "Now this morning I ate a thousand peices of hard candy." "And I've got to get them out or I will surely die." "What is this an escape?" "I wouldn't count on it." "Come on hit me as hard as you can." "Yeah, is that all you've got?" "!" "Oh Jesus!" "This is disgusting!" "Can I be a magician when I grow up?" "Maybe if you get good grades." "This is what they call "Magic" these days?" "This is some kine of terrible shit." "Ladies and gentlemen Steve Gray." "Nicole?" "Jane." "Goddam that's the worst thing I ever saw in my life." "And I saw my kids being born." "Holy mackerel are you kidding me, Burt?" "You never told us you were friends with the famous Rance Holloway." "It is an honor sir." "Your too kind." "Mr. Holloway." "Wjhat in the hell happen to you?" "I work with cats, large cats." "I went on a date last night, and one of them got jealous and ripped my face." "God damn." "Oh my girlfriend got it worst." "They said this was a magicians bar." "What are you doing in here?" "Mr. Gray." "What you do is not magic." "It is monkey porn." "I understand, its natural for a dying leaf to be frighten by the autumn wind." "Its not about pulling a rabbit out of your hat anymore." "Its about pulling your heart out of your chest." "What the hell is that suppose to mean?" "It means I take peoples nightmares and turn them into dream realities." "What in the fuck is a "Dream Reality?"" "And you are?" "Hold on there Steve Gray, your telling us you don't know who Rance Holloway is?" "never heard of him." "We owe this man everything,and you don't know who he is." "I didn't say I didn't know who he is." "I said I never heard of him." "Your skin makes me cry." "Thats a very sick hombre." "Well when do we start rehearsing our kid show?" "You ready?" "Lets give it a try." "Say would you like to go golfing?" "Sure!" "There you go." "He must be golfing?" "Rance Holloway!" "Thank you." "This is my handkerchief." "Thank you very much." "Burt?" "Hey what are you dong here?" "I came to visit my grandmother." "Hi." "Hello darling." "Grace is your grandmother?" "Yeah, what are you doing here?" "I entertain the residence." "I haven't seen her this happu in ages." "We're having an affair." "I don't get it" "I don't understand how you can work for Steve Gray." "You are so much better than that" "You didn't thikn of that when I asked to be your partner." "Well that was a different time." "Women didn't have the same freedom as they do now." "It was a month ago." "Listen, I know he sucks, I need a job." "and I don't have to defend myself to you." "No, I know you don't Jane." "Thank you." "Did you just actually call me by my real name?" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry that i've been suck a jerk to you." "and that I was so unprofessional." "and that I always called you Nicole even though I knew your name was Jane." "There's a hundred more things on my internal check list." "OK... that I objectified you and I always stood too close to you and that I yelled at you, and that I tried to make you feel uncomfortable..." "And that I..." "OK, you can stop don't hurt yourself." "So whatever I did that was insensitive and stupid, I'm sorry." "Well on the behalf of all the Nicoles for the last 10 years" "I accept your apology." "Thank you Nicoles." "We were I don't know 10 or 11... and there was this one kid in class who was always mean to us always picking on us." "So we tricked him into pulling flash paper out of a wond." "It exploded in his face and the whole class laughed." "Oh that must of been a good day?" "It was the best." "The next day not so much." "The kid came back, beat Anton almost to death." "Oh, No He was alright." "Well at least you had Anton." "Yes." "I had imaginary friends and even they were mean, so... a life of a child magician." "Yes try being a girl magic magician, they called me magic bitch." "They did?" "Yes." "They called me magic bitch." "No!" "Well now" "Do you have any gigs coming up?" "As a matter of fact, I have a very important international galla" "Known as Doug Mummy's kid birthday party." "Oh, thats." "Pathetic I know." "No, I was gonna say cool." "Kids love magic right?" "Right." "I know your probably busy but..." "I was thinking maybe you could be there." "I am busy." "but I'll be there." "Your so lucky." "Rance, its Burt the party is today." "just a gentle reminder call me." "You made it." "Well I love cake so..." "You ready?" "I think i'm ready but Rance isn't here yet so..." "Rance is not here Don't worry." "You'll be fine." "I'm not nervous thank you." "Right." "Good Luck." "I don't need luck I need Rance." "He'll be here." "Alright." "OK." "Ladies and gentlemen..." "I want to thank you all for celebrating my sons..." "How old are you?" "10." "My son's 10th birthday." "Judah... my love... my life... my dreams happy birthday." "Thanks dad." "Now Judah's birthday isn't the real reason I invited you all out here today." "as many of you know my new hotel Doug will be opening soon and in a few weeks I myself will be hosting a showcase of Vegas hottest acts." "and which ever entertainer dazzles me the most... will get a 5 year contract as Dougs headliner how bout that huh?" "and I am very pleased to announce that we have have our first official entrance into that competition." "right here with us today he's a world famous magician ladies and gentlemen..." "Steve Gray!" "Good to see you Steve, thanks for coming." "and i'll see you nect month at the showcase." "alright ladies and gentle now to entertain the children." "Burt Wonderstone, thank you." "I have a question for you." "Don't you wish you had a quarter for every time your parents told you to clean behind your ears?" "Yes." "Well there's one." "That's great!" "and yes there's another one!" "and the birthday boy." "When was the last time you cleaned behind your ears?" "Never." "I didn't think so." "because Judah has the grostest ears of all!" "You are rich my friend." "Thats so cool." "Amazing." "Here you go." "Thank you." "Wait!" "You kids want to see some real magic?" "I pulled my thumb off." "Thats not it." "Steve, what are you doing?" "Your not suppose to be performing today." "Just giving the people what they want." "Hey guys, check this out." "You know if your like me, your probably thinking that coin trick." "that was a, tasty little orderve." "but my inner child is hungry... and crying out for something more nourishing." "What have you got on the grill?" "Oh my God!" "Whats he doing?" "What is he doing?" "You see that?" "You see what i'm doing here?" "Look at that, look at it!" "Now look at this." ""Happy birthday"" "In cursive." "That is a terrible trick to do for children." "What if they try and copy you?" "I'll sue them." "Its my trick" "Hey guys, have you ever been to a party and someone has on the exact same outfit?" "Yeah Sure." "Well here is a solution for that." "Thank you." "Wonderstone." "Boring!" "Here's how I hammer a nail." "You need anything worked done around the house near know my summer cotage that way." "alright very good, very good indeed but this is a classic." "meaning its been done." "Judah what is your favorite animal?" "a mole?" "sloth?" "a puppy?" "a puppy" "Lets make a puppy for judah birthday shall we?" "There you go a puppy" "Its not really that cute is it?" "It sort of a lame puppy I think I can do better I'll start again." "Alakazam" "There you go my friend, happy birthday Judah." "Thanks I'm going to call him Wonderstone." "Can I see Wonderstone for a second?" "Hey everybody what this everyone" "What an adorable little life form." "You know I bet I can make him even smaller." "and a little less adorable." "Stop it, stop it!" "Give me the dog." "Give me the dog!" ", Give me the dog!" "Give him to me!" "Wow!" "Wonderstone has disappeared" "I wonder where he went." "Probably where all Wonderstones go eventually into obscurity" "Daddy, daddy he crushed my dog!" "Are you sure about that Judah?" "Are you sure about anything?" "because I think I hear something moving in this box right over here go ahead and open that wonderstone!" "your OK." "Thats a different dog you sick bastard, where's the other one?" "don't you worry about it." "He's in a very safe place." "Top that puppy pants." "God damn you," "Happy birthday Judah" "Chin up Burt, bad thing don't happen to us, they happen for us." "Why couldn;t you let him do just one show?" "cause I want that gig at Doug" "Not really I don't care." "I want it." "What is wrong with you?" "Nothing is wrong with me." "everything is in perfect alignment" "I worked too long and too hard to get where I am and no one is going to stop me not Wonderstone, not you not even me the future belongs to Steve Gray and incase you haven't noticed..." "I'm Steve Gray" "Well Steve Gray you are a terrible human being and whats worst your a really bad magician so I quit" "Nice exit but i'm still here" "What your gonna do now?" "walk off in a half excellent" "women they are a mystery Judah" "Burt?" "He put a dog in my pants, Jane I see" "He put a live dog in my pants I'm sorry" "No one has ever done that to me before." "I hope not." "he was teething." "So gross." "Hello?" "What?" "Rance" "I missed the show" "Don't worry about that" "This is Jane" "Hi Jane, Rance Holloway" "Of course I know who you are" "What happend?" "I had a stroke" "I don't recommend it either it is not as much fun as they tell you in the brochures" "How'd it go did you do the tricks?" "Oh it was fine" "Did they laugh were they amazed they loved it it was great great" "If i've known how much fun it would be to work with a partner I would have done it years ago" "Its time for my final disappearing act goodbye Burt" "where did he go?" "he has gone to a better place" "goodbye Rance he's under the bed." "I know." "Hey Winselstein" "You came back and what about your work with the poor?" "Yeah they didn't actually want magic" "They wanted food and clean water the fools" "please" "so..?" "so...?" "so good to see your face" "would you like an onion ring?" "I've missed you so much." "Oh, Burt" "I just missed you so much" "I've missed you too." "After what I did to you I didn't think you would ever be my friend" "I can't understand you" "I didn't think you would want to be my friend" "Oh I will always be your friend" "And I'll alays be your friend" "I can't tell you what that means to me" "Yes you can" "It means alot" "Your friendship means more to me than anything in the world" "Burt stop" "So happy" "So happy" "I promised myself I wasn't going to do this" "I promised myself I was going to do this" "Now there it is" "The enchanted notebook" "I've always kept it with me." "There are some really great ideas in here." "What about raising storm?" "Who did it?" "Arsinian 91" "What about stinky stinky 2x4?" "That one is really hard on my back." "Oh yes." "Listen guys we just need oncebig trick for Munny's showcase some kind of grand illusion that would really blow peoples minds" "Hey wait minute?" "What's the disappearing audience?" "That was the 1 trick we could never crack." "Yes" "How would you make an entire audience disappear without them being in on it?" "You'd have to knock them all out or something." "No...." "Krotom That thing" "What?" "Its a leaf they chew in Combodia it knocks them right out" "We would have to drug a thousand people without their consent?" "Guys no" "What?" "No you can't be serious" "That would be dangerous an also illegal" "She has a point yeah" "We should test it first" "You think this batch is ready?" "I don't know check it" "You think this batch is ready?" "I don't know check it" "OK, is everybody knowing what they're doing?" "I'm ready." "Me too but I am a little nervous" "Anton what could possible go wrong?" "Somebody could die, we could go to prison" "See when you say it out loud it doesn't sound so bad" "Jane, Anton and I have been talking and if we get this gig we would like you to join us" "I'd love to." "Not as our assistant" "As our opening act" "We think your a hell of a magician and we would like you to be our partner" "alright" "Ok i'm just gonna head out" "I'm happy for you guys" "Sorry, sorry, I forgot my sweater" "Ok, bye" "Happy for you" "Alright" "I believe that this was yours?" "Very good" "Oh you have something in your ear." ""Trojon Condoms"" "Very nice Thank you" "Unfortunately that wont work for me "Magnum Condoms"" "Really?" "No it's just a trick." "Ok" "Your catching me where it doesn't feel good" "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" "OK, OK, yea that was something" "Ok get out" "Yeah" "Sorry about that" "Next up a man who lives on the cutting edge and the burning edge and the gouging edge of magic" "You may know him from his TV show "Brain Rapist"" "So prepare to have your brains raped" "Ladies and Gentlemen Steve Gray!" "Thank you" "But i'm not here for applause" "I'm a little bit different from the other magicians you'll see here tonight" "In fact i'm not planning on doing any magic at all" "Instead I want to do a little thing I call" "Drilling a hole in my head" "Now according to my research there is a narrow angle where one can drill" "into the skull missing all the vital parts of the brain now I've been informed by my nedical team" "That I may lose 1 of my senses leaving me with only 5 and no longer be special in any way" "Yes, just like one of you so... cross your fingers for me" "oh and parents if you have small children with you you might want lift them up so they can see better" "alright without further delay lets change everyting" "Tada!" "That was amazing!" "Thank you" "Do it again!" "Hey when did you guys get here?" "Oh I lost my drill, I lost my drill out there" "Ooh boobies" "And that's why he's a star ladies and gentlemen Steve Gray." "Lets hear it!" "Thank you" "I feel bad for anyone who has to follow that act and now to follow that act..." "Burt Wonderstone and Anton marvelton ladies and gentlemen..." "Yes!" "Thank you, thank you very much" "Good evening, for 15 yearsAnon and I did a little show called Burt and Anton a magical friendship as some of you may know we recently had a falling out yeah, we fell right out of a hot box" "you see ladies and gentlemen along the way we forgot the most important thing of all and that is that Burt needs Anton and ANton needs Burt because that is what a magical friendship is all about tonight we offer you the one illusion that we dreamed about as kids but never dared performed until now" "I guess you could say that this tricked started 30 years ago on my birthday" "I was given a Rance Holloway magic kit and I watched the instructional video for the very 1st time" "Hello my young friends, I'm Rance Holloway" "You've probably seen me on the Murph Griffith show" "Or live on stage or at the fabulous startdust resort and casino in Las Vegas magic is the art of making people believe something they know can't possible be true for example if I were to say to the man in the 2nd row isle C that is the ugliest God damn sweater I have ever seen" "you might be astonished because theres no way I could have known what he'd be wearing when I recorded this 30 years ago right?" "well let me tell you something folks you aint seen nothing yet" "No, you aint seen nothing yet because now Burt and Anton are going to make all of you everyone in this audience man, women, and child disappear from this very theatre" "Oh my God!" "Oh my God!" "Thank y ou!" "Thank You!" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Thank You!" "We did it Anthonu" "We sure did Albert" "Burt Anton congratulations!" "You got the gig." "I don't know how you did it this was one hell of a trick" "Thank you Doug and I was sure this was gonna be a disaster" "Oh just one thing" "Though your gonna make the audience reappear again after dark again right?" "not a problem" "Cause now i'm gonna make a shit load of money in the casino alright" "Very proud of ya" "Not bad but wait till they see what I have planned" "I'm gonna drill a hole in my head right here" "ahead of my time" "Subtitles created by clinpro"