"This story of ours really did happen." "And, like all true stories, will seem incredible." "In the time when in Italy there was more rubble than houses... .. and thousands of people without a roof to sleep under... .. were taking part in a real house hunt," ".. those having had the good luck to find one available," ".. had to have it assigned to themselves," ".. had to run and announce it at the Department for Housing." "Hard times, when to survive one needed resolve, a good eye, and prompt reflexes!" " What's happening?" " A painter got killed." " She was stabbed 39 times!" " Not once..." " Did she live alone?" " Yes." " At what floor?" " The last." " How many rooms?" " 2,3..." "How should I know?" " But why do you care?" " May I!" " Where're they going?" " l've seen it first!" "Oh, wait!" "Hey!" "DEAL with it!" "Vittorio square, San Giovanni!" " Come on, kid!" " Go!" "Vittorio square, San Giovanni!" " Hurry up, ma'am!" "Come quickly!" " Go!" "Quickly!" "Let's go!" "What's he doing?" "He gets towed?" "What do you care?" "Now we're free!" "War's over!" " Forbidden!" " Eh..." " Scoundrel!" " Leave him alone... - lt's an abuse!" "He gets towed!" "It's forbidden!" "Taxi!" " Look what I'm selling!" "What stuff!" "Ma'am!" " Taxi!" "Get yourselves a hunter's jacket, hunters!" ""housing DEPARTMENT"" "45 Pistoia st!" " l've said it first!" " No, I was first!" " My house was bombed!" " And I'm a refugee!" "My house was bombed!" "I don't like them, Peppino." "They have mean faces." "They have high cheekbones, slavish." "It's only for a short time." "Be superior!" "In one month they'll go back home!" "Are we there?" "Yes, father!" "Come up with the kids!" "Of what class are you?" "At your orders!" "I'm saying, you, istrians, you are bilingual, vero?" "At your orders!" " Come, go get me a chair!" " Who are you talking to?" "To me?" "Go get it yourself!" "I'm not your servant!" "You've been saying: "At your orders!" for three hours, so I'm ordering you!" "What orders?" "I take orders from no one!" "Thirteen years have gone by." "Today, in Italy there are more houses than lodgers, but in 45 Pistoia st, last floor, there are more children than beds." "Coming!" "You, go to school!" "Mommy'll take care of it!" "Now we're going there, and clean you up!" " One moment!" " Eh!" "Even if it was occuppied, what will happen?" "That's it..." "Bravo..." "Here it is..." "Don't blow your nose in the sink!" "I've been saying it for 1 3 years!" "If you want to blow your nose, and don't want to use your fingers, use, at least, the handkerchief!" "Pigs!" " What did you want, dad?" " Ah, it was you..." " lt was him!" " l was just saying: this mornin' they blow their noses so gently!" " May I?" " Please." "One moment!" "I was first!" "Alright, but hurry up, me have go work!" "And me, wash!" "Me not at all like you!" "Hide it!" "Here's father!" " Good morning, father!" " Hi, Bianchina." " Maria, the coffee!" " Good morning, father." " Hi." "Already at work?" " l have a delivery this evening..." "Maria, the coffee!" "It's late!" "I've got 4 sit-downs this morning!" "I'm sorry, dear, but there's no coffee!" "Madame has drank it, by mistake!" "What's the fuss?" "!" "I'll make it again!" "Have a little patience!" "Maria, please, forget the coffee, it's bad for the liver!" "A nice glass of fresh water rinces everything!" "Happy you!" "I'll bring it right away!" "Here's your water." "By the way, it's our turn to wash today." "But she has already put all her laundry in the tub!" "It's not the end of the world:" "if you won't wash today, you'll wash tomorrow!" " Yeah, sure!" " Or another day." " Easy said!" " lt's simple!" "Be superior!" "I always tell you that!" "You're a lady, you've got more education!" "Look what sun there is, what a beautiful day!" "When the sun is up, this house is beautiful, beautiful!" " Bye, Maria. I'm off." " Bye." "He's so irresponsible!" "Still here?" "Damn it, how tough you slaves are!" "And, please, don't blow in the sink!" "Go!" " What are you doing?" " l'm sewing." "Grandpa, leave that poor old man alone." "He's the only one not bothering anyone!" "Imagine I have something else on my mind!" " Mother!" " What?" " Look!" "Do you like it?" " When must you give it to... this champ?" "Soon." "Then, go!" "But I don't know anything about it!" "And so, according to your backward mentality, I'm the one who hung Nazario Sauro!" "Us, we surely didn't!" "It was you for sure!" "lgnorant, who doesn't know anything!" "Don't offend!" "Don't offend!" "I only know one thing:" "when Nazario Sauro was here with us, he was fine:" "he was eating, drinking, having fun, going to the cinema, etc." "He only just set his foot, for a second, in your region, that he got it." "And stupid me, standing on the Carso, through wind and rain, fighting to free who?" "You!" "Please, let's change the topic!" "Listen..." "What do you think of those Cardinals coming to elect the new Pope?" "What do I care about the Cardinals?" " There's one 92 years old, like you." " And what do you mean by that?" "I say, let's assume, they elect this one as Pope." "The other Cardinals don't want to go away." "How much can he hang in?" "A week?" "A month, tops, and that being generous!" "You jinx!" "You jinx!" "O, no." "O, no!" " You trespasssed upon 2 floor tiles!" " Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose!" " O, no?" " O, no!" "Excuse, but if you take 2 tiles from the 22 existing, where's it goin' to end?" "Aren't 1 2 tiles enough for you?" "Do you want 1 4, 1 5, 1 8?" "What else do you want?" "Trieste, Gorizia, the Carso?" " What peace!" " The peace of the soul is to be envied," " dear Armentano!" " l got that!" "And I've even got a clear conscience!" "Begin with the little toe." "But don't press!" "I don't press, but we're down to the usual:" "we worked with the razorblade!" "Oh, 2 thin slices that couldn't ruin everything." "If you go on like this, if you use the razorblade, I'll give up the foot." " Nooo..." " l insist!" " l was telling you about my family." " Yes, yes." "My eldest son is a graduated surveyor, but is in the army." " He doesn't bring home not even a lira." " Unfortunately..." "The other one has received the calling, thank to your interest." "I've sent him to seminary on half fee, but it still is an expense." "My youngest girl's studying to be a teacher." "The eldest one is no genius.." ".. and, thank God, she doesn't study." "Therefore, one less expense." "And my wife?" "She doesn't understand anything." " Women are strange, Monsignore!" " Don't hurry up so... .. with that thing?" "Fri-fri!" "It's no pencil!" " Don't be afraid..." " Monsignore!" " Monsignore!" " Calamai, who let you in?" "Who let me in?" "Your benevolence permits me to consider myself by now.." ".. a familiar of your household." "Shall I hold your umbrella?" " No, no, thank you!" " No, no!" " Don't bother!" "I've dared imposing on you for a really urgent matter." " l'll only tell you the name." " Eh?" "Saint George." " Well?" " Well?" "!" "The life of saints in comic strips, for the spread of religious spirit!" "Who knows Saint George?" "If we don't do a little promotion," " how will people get to like..." " Oh..." "Oh..." "What kind of ideas are these?" "May I?" "My wife is waiting to kiss your hand." "May I?" "Marisa!" "Marisa, come kiss the Monsignore's hand!" "Marisa!" "Marisa, where're you going?" "Marisa!" "She wears a Saint Rita medalion under her blouse." "And me a Saint Anthony the Abbot ring." "Most faithful!" "Well done, well done, but..." " l'll wait here!" " But I'm busy!" " Go ahead!" " Say..." "What were you saying?" " Me?" "Nothing." "But weren't we talking when the gentleman...?" " Ah, I was talking about my wife!" " Go on, go on!" " Eh!" "Dear Monsignore, you won't believe it, but the 7 0-80,000 lire... .. I need to get a house, I don't have it!" " May I, please?" " On the other hand, cohabitation is no fun." "Those ones have 8 children." "God bless them!" "Throw them out!" "Evict them!" "I'd wish!" "There's no pretext, dear..." "Saint George!" "If you want, I can give you the address of a lawyer, a friend of mine." "Imagine what kind of guy he is:" "he doesn't do these things for money, but for the thrill of throwing people in the street!" "Calamai, please, do something for me:" "go away!" "Why?" "He hurts you and you take it on me, Eminence?" "I've told you 1 ,000 times!" "There's no way we can do that thing!" "Before!" "Now, with the arrival of the new Pope, we can attack again!" "No!" "It's a thing I'm not interested in, it's something stupid!" "You're a little nervous." "I'll come back another day, if it suits you." "No, no, for God's sake!" "An industrialist from Brescia who wants to build a couple of churches," " are you interested in that?" " No!" " He wants to be made a count." " No!" " Marquis?" " No!" "Kiss your hands, Eminence." " Are you through?" " Mh." "I've made you a foot..." "you could dance with it!" "Pardon!" "Professor, I dared waiting you here!" "Professor!" " No, I was talking to you, mister chiropodist!" "Me?" " How should I call you?" "Well, yes... professor will do, professor specialized in foot aesthetics." "Mister chiropodist, I have what you need!" "In the heart of old Rome, a palace, 2 floors, 1 0 rooms, 3 bathrooms, accessories, phone." "Does it suit you?" " Come on, good-bye!" " l haven't yet told you the price, and you already say "good-bye"?" " 1 0,000 lire a month!" " 1 0,000 lire a month?" " How many rooms ?" " 1 0." " Phone?" "Bathroom?" " 3 bathrooms." "Listen, this house thing, I take it very seriously." "You're making fun of me." "What're you saying?" "Do I have the face of a clown, making fun of you?" "I swear it on the honor of my spouse." "May I?" "Marisa, come here!" " Come on, move it!" " Just a sec!" "I'm on number 1 2 heels, ain't I?" "Isn't it true there's an apartment for the gentleman?" "Speak!" "Available on the spot!" " How much does it cost?" " 1 0,000 a month, without deposit or downpayment." "The only other expense is the 1 5,000 for my intermediation." "I don't have the money right now, but show me the house all the same, because for such a bargain, I could raise it." "I see the 1 5,000 lire and you see the apartment!" " Give me a little time..." " At 1 6:00 in Piazza del Popolo!" "At 1 6:00 in Piazza del Popolo?" "Isn't it a joke?" "Because I can find the money." "Go, it's not easy to find 1 5,000 lire!" "Go!" "At 1 6:00 in Piazza del Popolo!" "Good-bye, Cavaliere!" "Come, let's go!" " Pino, are you leaving me here?" " Move, move!" "Let's go!" " When will you give me the 1 5,000?" " Move it!" "You know I already need it!" "Pino, wait for me!" " lannacone Quintilio 50, 7 00." " Without bones!" "Ezio De Luca!" " Another one!" " Oh!" "She made a shawl for you!" " Enough!" " Can't one say anything to you!" " Cut it out!" "The opening of the sleeves is too tight, the gloves don't go through!" "How stupid of me!" "But I'll enlarge them for this evening." "No, no, better not. lt's better not to wear new stuff in the ring." " lt brings bad luck and you seem rude." " Spit, you're putting on grams" " l'm not overweight!" " You haven't cut your hair," " you could at least spit, couldn't you?" " Alright!" " You did well not to cut your hair." " Yes, it's cold!" "How much air can you breathe in?" "Almost 9 liters, one more than Coppi!" " Ah, here's mine!" "He's so ugly!" "Be careful!" "The uglier they are, the more beatings they took." " l'm afraid!" " Don't worry, he's half gone." "Better tell me what's knew at your place?" " Have you talked to your father?" " Not yet." "What are you afraid of?" "With the proposition I made you!" " l'll speak to him today or tomorrow." " Romano Dalla Giacoma!" " l'm going." "We'll speak tonight." " Bye." " Romano Dalla Giacoma!" " Thank you." " How is it going?" " Fine." "Nice romantic scene from the movie "Don't spit, kiss me!"." " He had to make the category, didn't he?" " Don't get mad. I was kiddin' you." " Change the melody, or you'll become tiresome!" " Commendatore!" "O God, it's my father!" "Come!" "Hide me, please!" "Hide me!" "Then, your father doesn't approve!" "He doesn't even want me to see him." " Why?" " Because he's a boxer!" "He's smart, your father is!" "Come, let's get out that way!" "What do 1 5,000 mean for you?" "It's been years I've been working for your gym." "You know it, boxers have callus under their fee, the most difficult, a callus of great responsibility." "Help me!" "I'll work for it in no time." "I really need it!" "Where'll I find another chance like this one?" "Help me!" "Go to the cash desk, in my name, and tell them to give you 1 0,000 lire." " Thank you!" "Did you say 20,000?" " No, 1 0,000!" " Ah, sorry." "Why do you write badly about him, even when he wins?" "And why when you print a photo of his, you choose one in which he gets punched?" "Alright, from now on I won't do it anymore. I swear it to you." " Come, I'm with my car." " But I live nearby." " Wait!" "I want to explain the mystery for you." "It's not true I've always written badly about him, even, once..." " Excuse me, I'm in a hurry." " One moment!" "It's something important." "I've begun writing badly about him for reasons not related to sport." " lt began..." " Good-bye." "It began one evening, when I saw you arm in arm." "I'll explain you what I felt!" "Damn it!" " Nicola!" " Father!" " How much have you left from the money I've given you on Sunday?" " Nothing." "Damn it!" "I must raise a certain sum before 1 6:00." " Borrow, making a collection!" " lt's not easy!" "O God!" "Uffa!" "I won't make it!" "Nicola!" "It's something important." "At 1 6:00!" " Have you understood?" " l'll try." "Then I'll come home." "Now go, or they'll put me inside!" "They're running, they're running!" "Why are they running?" " But... when did she go out?" " Right after the quarrel." "It should have been around 9:00." "All maked-up... .. and in suit!" "She even took a bath!" " No!" "She even took a bath?" " Mh!" "Mh..." "It..." "looks..." " lt looks to me that..." " What are you saying?" "!" "I can't scream!" "It looks to me that that one..." "To me, a woman who takes a bath on Thursday... .. it means that, beneath, there's something..." "Understand?" "She never came back so late." "It's past 1 4:00 o'clock!" " And Nicola, what's he up to?" " Don't worry about him!" " Nicola's not a civilian." " No, he's a savage!" "No, I say he's a soldier." "And more, he's under arms!" " You think they might have punished him?" " Eh, they may have polished him." " No, punished!" " Exactly." " They might have confined him to barracks" " What?" " They might have confined him." "I don't know." "Who could have they delivered him to?" "Who do you think might have confined him?" "Nicola's nice. lf only they'd had delivered him to someone, saying: "You keep him, we'll come take him later"." "What do you know?" "He might have made a mistake under arms, and for froth they give 1 5-30-90." " Eh!" "And if they want, they can even shoot you!" "They shoot you when under arms!" "I'm telling it to you!" "Here she is." "She's coming." " Eh?" " She's coming." "They shut themselves in their room." "But Nicola!" "Nicola!" "Might have they really shot him?" " Eh..." "Really confined?" " What are you talking about?" "Entrucasina." "Entrucasina." "What is it?" "Entrucasina" " O God!" " What?" " l'm pregnant." " You?" "!" " Me?" "!" " Are you nuts?" " l'm pregnant!" " You?" " What you?" "!" "The slave!" " She!" "O, please!" "Father's confusing things!" "In Italian we have words that seem the same, but mean different things." "No, no, dear Peppino, for 8 years in this house, every time I've heard those ones say "entrucasina"... the stork brought them a baby!" "But this does it!" "They've barely finished with the last one and they're at it again!" " They're criminals!" " Wait!" " Do you want something tragic to happen?" " There's nothing we can do now." " Oh!" "Maybe you didn't believe it, I wanted to tell you when it was done," " but I'm taking care of it." " Of what?" " Of finding a house!" " Peppino!" "It's been 20..." "Let me!" "I'm very calm!" "You won't hear me raising my voice, but... .. I want to tell her what's here inside!" " Let her tell what she's got here!" " Here we go again?" "!" "Mother!" "Mother!" "Open up!" " What's the matter?" " "Entrucasina"." " Shit!" " Have you found the money?" " Here it is. 4.000." "4.000?" "Let it be!" " What are they doing?" "Hitting each other?" " l'll manage." "Mother!" " Enough!" "You're criminals!" " Come, mother!" "Let it be!" " Calm down!" "Calm down!" " Calm down?" "!" " Calm down, ma'am!" "I'm objective!" "We were 7 and 7 we've remained." "You said there were 3 of you, and only God knows how many you're now." " This isn't a barracks!" " And what am I to do?" " lt means my husband likes me, no?" " Eh!" "Have some measure!" "I can't take it anymore." "When I think about all the screams again, and staying awaken all night long... I'd think that, after all these years, your mother'd have the right of, at least, having a home" "If you want to go on crying, go on crying." "But I swear to you, and you must believe me, that we'll have a home by tonight." "Listen to him!" "Listen to him!" "He says that 1 5 times a year." " He makes fun of me!" " Mother, as soon as I'm out of the army, I'll have a palace for you, a villa, with five servants!" " Nicola!" "Hey, Armentano!" " Excuse me, mother." " What?" " Come down!" "Move!" "A very important thing!" " We must go to the Zoo!" " Alright, I'll come down!" " Who is he?" " Who?" " The tall one..." " What's it to you?" " What's his name?" " His name is "Not your business!" "You must stay away from bersaglieri, especially from those two!" "They're the worst scoundrels in the whole regiment!" " Mother." " Eh?" "Nicola and father are two little boys, but you must believe me." "I really have a way of solving this situation, and finding a home." "Meaning?" "What way?" "It's Romano." "But we have to convince father." "It's useless insisting, I'm not coming!" "I'm not leaving mother in this condition!" "is this possible you can never count on this one?" " He always ruins everything!" " Who's ruining?" "If you want to go to the maids, you can go alone!" "Or you want to saddle me with another hunchback, like the one in Frascati?" "What has she got to do with it?" "That was an accident!" " Come, Neri, let's go!" "We'll fix it by ourselves!" " No, wait!" "If he has a problem, we should help him, shouldn't we?" "If comrades in arms don't help each other..." "When we're joking, we're joking, but when certain things occur, who gives a damn about maids!" "Come with us to the corner!" "Make me understand:" " what kind of situation do we have here?" " lt's bad, very bad!" "But it seems strange to me that in all these years you didn't find a way... .. to throw those ones out." "As long as they pay their rent, they're safe!" " Do they pay it?" "!" " Unfortunately, yes!" "You'd need them not to pay it." " Neri!" " Let me think!" " Come us to the tram!" " No, let me go!" " Only as far as the tram!" " No!" "The only way is to make them have a financial collapse." "So they won't pay their rent, and they'll evict them." "There's a thing in Italy capable of breaking a family... .. and send her into a financial crisis for 1 0 years; know what that is?" "Healthcare expenses!" "When my grandma had otitis we had to sell a field and two cows." " ls he coming?" " He's working him..." " But we're bored waiting for him." "And I had such a hard time dragging her here!" " l don't like him." "And then, I'm afraid!" " Afraid of what?" "!" "Look at him!" "He's a Corporal!" " This is the key." "Think about it!" " Think about who?" "Think, and you'll see something we'll come into your mind!" " Good evening..." " Good evening..." " ls miss..." " Hi!" " Good evening." "Neri!" "I thought about it!" "The old man has an hernia. ls it good?" "Great!" "You're on it!" "Think about the details!" "And once you'll be staying here." "look over the kids." " Please!" " And the sun cap!" "Scoundrels, come back!" "Bastards!" " l'll feed them to the seals!" " Feed him!" "Come back here!" "Bastards!" "You also?" "Don't cry." "Be a good boy..." "Come!" "Be a good boy..." "You're right to be astonished, professor." "A house like this for 1 0,000 lire a month it seems incredible." "It's in the heart of old Rome, amidst the ancient palaces, in a colorful street." "Now, you know, it has some flaws..." "It's not that..." " Flaws?" "Would there be some ghosts, would it?" " No, please!" " Ah, beh!" " lt's a problem of mentality." "I'd have the mentality to inhabit it." "But, Calamai, indulge me with a thing I'm curious about." " lsn't this Fontanella st?" " Yes." " Oh!" "Here was the..." " lt was, wasn't it?" " This is it!" " lt's here!" " lt was bugging me..." "This is it!" " You knew it!" "You've been here!" "I was right, here it is!" "The last time I was here it was the day the Empire was proclaimed." " Ah!" "You came..." " We came in our blackshirts." "To celebrate... I got a genoan, an anti-fascist." "How she was crying!" " Why?" " She was desperate." "She was saying that was the day of the ruin of Italy." " Fancy that!" " Eh, sometimes, those women..." "Oh, but tell me: these houses, now, that they've been closed, what do they do with them?" "Tearing them down?" "Who tears them down?" "They let them out!" " What?" " They let them out." "To whom?" "To the smart ones!" " At how much a month?" " At 1 0,000 lire a month." "Calamai, I've understood." "But who did you take me for?" "I've already rung!" "I don't want to see it!" "Hello, sister Gina." " Ah, it's you, Pino." " l've brought you a new client." " Come in!" "Come in!" " Cut it out!" " Let go of me, Calamai!" "Pino, Pino, Pino!" "Are you leaving me outside?" "They'll arrest me!" " l'll show you the way." " Come in, please." " Are you from Rome?" " Eh, I came here as a boy!" "Eh..." "Then, who knows how many times you've come, in the good old times!" "Eh!" "He has already told everything!" " He's a regular!" " Let's not exagerate." " Shall I carry it?" " No, no!" "It's mine..." " lsn't it heavy?" "Shall I help you?" " lt isn't heavy." "So, you were also one of sister Gina's large family." "Damn!" " Are you showing him or do you want...?" " My feet hurt," " l don't want to climb the stairs." " l'll take care of it." " Siberia!" "Siberia!" "It's my spouse, also called Siberia." "Bless her!" "She always calls me Siberia... .. because I'm so sensitive to cold!" "But here you can rest assured." "With the heating on, it's so warm!" "You can lay around in negligee, even in winter!" " You can tell this to your wife." "Are you coming, dottore?" " Please..." "Marisa, show the avvocato everything!" " l'm no lawyer, but a professor!" " Alright, it's the same thing!" "Like before, and even more, I shall love you..." "Let's go!" "See I've brought you a real gentleman?" " When Calamai sets his mind to it..." " Eh, let's hope we'll do it..." " But do you love me?" " Yes, and you know it!" " l'm your darling..." " Alright, alright!" "How did you call me?" "Big Bum?" " Can I have a small advance?" " No." " 5.000 lire." " No." " 2.000." " No!" " The brooch!" " l said no!" "There are 1 0 rooms:" "8 bedchambers and 2 sitting rooms." "Did you what she's reduced to, sister Gina?" "Suddenly, closed!" "Although she made her dough before, because she charged 1 00 lire for an apple." " Ah, you have lived here!" " Eeeeh... a lot!" "Come in!" "This is the manager's sitting room." "Look at the fresco!" "So beautiful!" "Even if a little pushed because, you know," " it's aphrodisiac." " What?" "Aphrodisiac!" "If you want, sister Gina can cover it up for you, but it'd be a pity!" "Have you seen the friezes?" "How they are beautiful!" "There is a sitting room with a row of peacocks..." "A gentleman from Milano wanted to buy them and take them to his wife!" "Oh, how nice Eliana looks in this photo!" "How nice she looks!" "Imagine, she's now in Beirut, in Africa!" "But she, at least, had an aunt in Addis Abeba, because you need a recommendation if you want to go abroad!" "Me, if I were to start it all over, I'd embark." "But never on the streets!" "Have you seen them on the streets?" "The horror!" "I couldn't do it." "It must be because I'm so much of a woman!" "If I'm not protected by a house, I don't know to do anything." "I'd go wrong..." "Yes, but I'm busy." "I'd like to leave." "What?" "!" "You want to go away without seeing the rooms?" " l've already understood what all is about." " Eh, no!" " The rooms, you must see them." " Don't keep me, Siberia." "I'll show you one you've never seen." " No, miss." " Come!" " l have things to do." "Siberia!" "Come, professor!" "Uh!" "The window's opened!" "So this is the scenery!" "Imagine I always thought you could see the Pincio!" "Strange!" "But it's bright!" "Eh?" "Professor, do you know why they let such a house for 1 0,000 a month?" "I know it!" "Because nobody rents it!" " But who do you think'd come live here?" " Eeeeh!" "Sister Gina has had so many offers!" "It's only that she wants to let it to a good, respectable family, so it gets a good name." " Don't you have a son who's a priest?" " O, yes!" "Salvatore!" " Oh, my God!" " Ah... then everything's set." "If I just say a word to sister Gina, because she listens to me!" "You make me a present, a mere 1 0.000..." "Eh!" "1 0,000 lire!" "Who did you take me for?" "Imagine I'll never come here!" "Understood?" " l'm going!" "Good-bye!" " Professor!" " Good-bye!" " At least 5.000!" " Yes, 5.000!" " Negotiable!" "This is a mad house!" "Salvatore'll kill me!" "I'm leaving." "Excuse the trouble, madame." "Avvocato!" "Everything alright, everything to your liking?" " Yes, I've talked to your wife, Siberia!" " Anything wrong?" "Say it!" "You're mad!" "Be modern!" "What are these prejudices?" "It's a house like all others!" "You've put me in such a spot..." "What am I going to tell my wife?" "Cursed be the day I've met you!" "We'll redecorate the house, nice colors, white, blue, pink, red and blue?" " White and blue my foot!" " Anyway, remember me:" "Calamai Pino, ex Andrea, Vicolo delle Gatte 3, flat 1 5." " Alright." " Ready to service you!" "Tie a knot at your handkerchief!" "Anything you need.." ".. call Calamai!" "And he'll be right there!" " Alright, but..." " Aaah!" " l'll carry your briefcase!" " l don't need anything!" "I don't need Calamai, I don't need feathers, I don't need anything!" "I don't want to see you anymore!" "Have you got it?" " Mister general!" " General my foot!" " Leave me your address!" " A madman's day!" "Don't you want a nice dressing gown, with two embroided lions for your wife?" "What manners!" "What could you have said to drive a client away?" "Shut up!" "O, mother, he broke my bridge!" " Great, splendid idea!" "is it yours?" " Beh, me and a pal of mine thought it up." "Superb!" "Exquisite!" "Bravo!" " Do you already know what you have to do, grandpa?" " Of course!" "Do you think your grandpa's a moron?" " And you want to do it all by yourself?" " Yes, we mustn't tell anything to anyone!" "This way, the merit will be all ours." "Dead silence!" " Here he is!" "I'll get right on to it." " l'll wait for you outside." " Good evening!" " Good evening!" "Good evening!" " Can I?" " Please, sit down!" " How are you?" " Fine, fine!" "And you?" "Eh!" "Listen:" "you've once told me that when young, I'm not sure, you were strong?" " Strong like a bull!" " Ah, yes?" "You were a bull when you were young?" "Grandpa!" "It went wrong." "What can you do?" "Bilateral hernie, both of them." "Bilateral!" " l can't tell you, you're still weak." " No, say it!" "In front of everyone!" "Come!" " And what if the wound opens up?" " Nothing's gonna' open." "Come, say it!" " Do you want to know?" " Yes, everything." " l'm waving all responsibility." " You wave everything!" " ln this hospital you've become everyone's laughing stock!" " Me?" " You!" " Why?" " What do you mean "why"?" "For what you did in the operating block." " What did I do?" " You were a coward!" " Me?" " You!" "As for me, in all modesty, they've cut me eyes opened!" "So I don't fall asleep!" "The surgeon was cutting and I was smiling, singing!" " Didn't you hear me sing?" " What else!" " You had already fainted!" "How much pepper did they put in this soup?" "!" "It makes me sick, it hasn't got any taste." "Ah, now I remember!" "Yesterday, the doctor, after the operation, so you couldn't hear him, was whispering to the sister:" ""1 8, no pepper." "1 9 all the pepper he wants"." ""None to 1 8, because he has a poor prognosis"." " What do I have?" " You have a poor prognosis." " Me?" " You, you!" "Poor prognosis..." "Senile old man!" "Mister llluminato!" " Who is it?" " lt's me." " Ah!" " How are you?" " Eh!" " Are you well?" " Why didn't my family come?" " They have come!" "We came by the same tram." " They stopped by the financial department, to get the bill." " The bill?" "!" " Yes, they'll be here any moment now." " The bill!" "Why did you wake me up?" "When one sleeps, he has to sleep!" "is it possible not to be left alone not even in the hospital?" " ls he asleep?" " Yes." " What shall we do?" "Wake him up?" " He doesn't move. ls he dead?" " Sst!" " He breathes, he's fine!" " He should be!" "63.000 up to now, plus the remaining days." "What did they do to him?" "What did they feed your father?" "Did he ask for seconds?" "!" "Where will we get all this money from?" " Shut up!" " Dad, ask how much did the slaves spend." " Why?" " Like this, I'm curious..." "Not that I'm meddling, but how much did your bill amount to?" "Not even one lira, we're refugees!" "Not even a penny, nothing!" "No, no and no!" "My daughter, into the hands of that beafsteak, I won't put her!" "And you surprise me, that you have covered for her all this time!" "Maybe you didn't understand." "Look, this beafsteak has proven himself... .. so generous as to want to pay for everything at home!" "Yes, and spontaneously." "He'll take care of everything: rent, deposit..." "One more reason!" "Why does he want to prevent a poor chap... .. to provide for himself for his family?" "You don't understand anything!" "What right and courage do you have to go on refusing?" "Don't you know that with this new accident we might not be able to pay the rent... .. and we might get evicted?" " Alright, I'll quit smoking!" "200 lire a day, means 6.000 a month, 7 2,000 a year, and we don't have to sell our daughter." "Who's talking about selling?" "If they love one another!" "Never, never, never!" "Long live the wine!" "if for the woman the male is an amusement, I drink to this beautiful couple!" " Want some?" " Thank you." "As I was saying, madame, in our job, a wrong wife, and the chap takes a wrong turn, is KO, and not for 1 0 seconds, but for life!" " This goes for all cases, doesn't it?" " Eh, no, dear madame!" "An engineer, let's say, deals better with being a cuckold then my protege." "Bravo, exactly!" "You're right, engineer!" " No, I'm not an engineer!" " No, dad, he's not an engineer!" " He's the father?" " No, he's the manager, the coach..." " l'll explain it better." " But..." "But... I'm something more, and something less." " How should I call you?" "The ma..." " Afterward." " The manager!" "Manager!" "Boh!" "He's not the father, not an engineer, he's something more, and something less he's..." "Father, leave me alone." "This isn't the time. I'm disappointed." "Oh, you wouldn't also be an engineer!" "You see, madame, for a boxer the ridicule is like death, the first disaster." "The second disaster: intemperance!" "Here she is!" "You see?" "Cicetti has understood everything and has turned all red!" "Naughty!" " What's the matter?" " Nothing." " l see you like this..." " No." " You look uglier than usually." " Thank you." "No, I mean uglier than when you get mad other times." " Don't you feel well?" " No, no." " Do you need anything?" " No, no." "Your glass is full." "You haven't drunk anything!" "If you'd know how bitter is this glass!" " Madame, please salute your husband!" " l won't fail." "Good-bye." "Bye, Romano." "Peppino!" "Peppino!" "Peppino!" "Peppino!" "Peppino!" "Open!" "Open!" "It's done!" "The check!" "1 00,000 lire!" "Peppino!" "Don't show it to me, please!" "I don't want to see it!" "Peppino!" "Open!" "Are you mad?" "Peppino!" "Peppino, don't joke!" "We're into it from now on!" "I won't touch it, I won't go to the bank." " I don't want to do anything." " Oh!" " At least this!" "For me it's enough that you endorse it!" " Master Bruno!" "Master Bruno!" " Who is it?" " lt's me!" " l'd like to go up for a moment." " Again?" "My daughter has to order her bedroom and we must take the measurements." "But how can I work if I'm interrupted every five minutes?" "Don't bother!" "You must only send me the keys!" "The keys?" "!" "I can't give them to visitors!" "Visitors?" "!" "My husband is signing the contract right now!" "We are full-fledged tenants with the right of entering their house whenever they want" " Come, Maria Berta!" " Alright." " What is it?" " Bring me the keys!" " Which ones ?" " The usual ones!" " Excuse me." " Yes." "Could you tell me where the race track is, for the dog races?" "The dog track!" "Straight ahead, at the end of the avenue!" " Thank you." " Don't mention it." "Calamai, this is the check." "Excuse me." "It's a check for 1 00,000 lire." "You, with your tricks, must double it." "1 00,000 lire." "I've endorsed it." " So?" " 1 00 for you, and 1 00 for me?" " No. 1 00 to me and 1 00 to my daughter's fiancee." " And for me?" " My friendship!" " Excuse me, one gets up in the morning and goes out... .. looking for a moron who'll make his day." "He finds the moron, and what does the moron offer him?" "His friendship?" " lsn't it enough?" " Eh, no!" "If you want, I can do your pedicure, for you, and for your wife..." " l don't feel like it!" " Pino, you're a gentleman!" "Help this unfortunate!" "Shut up!" "And what am I to do with 1 00,000 lire?" "I'm used to handling millions, with horses, dogs..." "Big business!" "1 00.000 lire!" "What can I do with it?" "We'd need a miracle, and only saints do miracles!" "Pino, why don't you cut him on the smoke?" "You cut in so many!" " lt's not fail proof." " Beh, almost, now it has leaked out..." " What has?" " The conclave's secret." "The conclave?" "!" " Eeeh..." "Now we're telling it urbis et orbis!" "Nothing!" "Reliable information..." "We've found out they've already elected the new Pontiff..." "And then, a tip on the smoke:" "white smoke doubles it, black smoke can't be." "White smoke doubles it, black smoke can't be..." "Listen, Pino's coming with a client for the smoke." " He said you knew how to deal with it." " Okay." "You look handsomer, you know?" "You're stronger." "Go away, Marisa!" "This friend of mine wants to bet 1 00,000 on white smoke." "If it's black, you lose, if it's white, you win." " Yes." " l'll hold the money." "Here it is." "The chimney-pot!" "It's white!" "It's white!" "It's white!" "Look at it!" " Now it's black." " Oh!" "But...." " No way!" "It was white!" " Now it's black." " Very black!" " lt must have gone dirty!" "It's the soot!" " lt was the same thing this morning." "It was white, it was white..." " Avvocato!" "Let's call a doctor, avvocato!" "Avvocato!" " Help!" "And then there's a sun!" "The whole day!" " Even in my room?" " lt must have been 1 7:00 today, and yet I couldn't keep my eyes opened." "It blinded me." "And for you, grandpa, there's a terrace with 1 47 tiles!" "1 47!" " Did you count them all?" " Yes." " Good girl!" " Here's dad!" " Finally!" " So, have you signed the contract?" " Yes, but..." "And even like surroundings, other tenants, you couldn't have found better!" "Dad, across from us, on the same floor, there's a lawyer!" " No!" " Yes!" "And above, in the penthouse, there's a magistrate from the National Audit Office!" " O, yes?" "We have a magistrate from the National Audit Office in the penthouse!" "Ah!" "Well, Peppino, have you signed the contract?" "Yes, I have." "Out with the glasses." "A nice toast, right away!" "Of course I've signed the contract," " but that is not the house." " What?" "!" " Not that one?" " lt's another house." " And the magistrate on the floor?" "Eeeh..." "But there's no comparison!" "For the same money... .. 2 floors, 1 0 rooms, sitting rooms, phone, garage..." " Where's this house?" " Downtown, in the heart of old Rome, amidst the ancient palaces." " But who's gone give you that house for so little?" "I was sure you'd say that." "An old fool, a fool." "A foreclosure." " Quickly!" "Quickly!" " Quicklier!" "It's still night!" "I've told you: it's forbidden to stop on that street, beginning with 7:00!" " Can we know what street it is?" " From Piazza del Popolo, you have to..." "Come on!" "I'll accompany you!" " Nicola!" " What is it, mother?" "Take these also!" "They no more room in the suitcase!" " Come, up!" " Yes, father!" " Come straight to the house!" " Yes!" " Understood?" " Have you taken everything?" " Everything." " Even my blouse who was drying?" " Yes." " Well done." "We'll be on our way, father." "You're still like this?" "!" "Hurry up!" "Eh, eh, eh!" "What's the rush!" "Eh!" "Who knows what Nicola'll do when he sees the house!" "I defy you!" "You're so proud, you'd think it's the Quirinale!" "And what is it after all?" "A house like this one, like all houses!" "You're joking, no?" "Wouldn't you be sorry to abandon this house, father?" "!" " Yes." " Eh?" " Yes, I'm sorry." " Father!" " l had got used to it." "After all, they are poor people, but honest peolpe." "I had got used to the cries of the kids, and having that old senile to spend my time with, I could even argue..." " .. and now?" " Luckily, from now on there's no one you can argue with." " And does it seem like a small thing to you?" " Hurry up, girls!" "Damn!" "Occupied!" "Who is it?" "Ah, it's you." " So, you're going away?" " Yes." " So long." " So long." "Oh, listen!" "I'll leave here half a pot of solid hair oil." "Use it." " Thank you." "Don't make noise, or you'll wake everyone up!" "Come on!" " Here it is." " Dad, but here it's..." " Here's our home." " Our home?" "!" "At sister Gina's?" "!" "What do you know about sister Gina?" "Watch it, or I'll slap you!" "And me thinking you were still a kid!" " They've only shown it to me..." " We'll settle this alone!" "Go in, you scoundrel!" "Sister Gina!" "Remove yourself!" "I'll show you the way." "There's no need." "We only know it too well!" " ls mother aware?" " No." "And woe to who tells her!" " But sooner or later she'll find it out!" " The latest possible!" "And you had the courage to take mother in a bro..." "Ssst!" "Get in, scoundrel!" "Nicola, I've thought about it, and I've come to the conclusion it's about... .. stupid prejudices that a modern man must overcome!" " Yes, but the women?" " Eh, yes, the women... I know, it's difficult explaining it to the women..." "That's why I haven't told your mother anything." "We must try to make her love this place, and make her understand that living here isn't anything out of the ordinary." "When we'll have told her the truth, she'd have so got used to living here... .. that she won't think twice about it, and will hate leaving." " Have understood?" " Let's hope so!" " And the boxer?" " Uuuh!" "The boxer, the women..." "You're tormenting me!" "Would you expect a man forced to bring his family to live in such a place... .. to worry about a boxer?" "Alright, now he's abroad..." "When he'll get back, we'll see." "Where're we putting this bower?" "There, were the cash desk was!" "Eh, where the cash desk was..." "True!" "You said they had only shown it to you." "Scoundrel!" " But I'm a soldier, dad!" " Nice excuse!" "And then, I only went once." "They said that, if I didn't go at least once, I wasn't a man..." "Ah, sure!" "And those born now, how do they grow up?" "Ah..." "If your mother'd know, this saintly woman!" " Oh, please!" " Beh, we'll put this.." " .. where the green living room." " Ah!" "The green living room, is it?" " Yes. I was also a soldier!" " Yes, but you were in Palermo!" "Come, to work!" "Here they are, Nicola!" "They're here!" " Please: you've promissed to help daddy." " Yes." " Please, my son!" " Yes." "Forget the green living room, the red one..." "It was a beauty saloon." " A beauty saloon." " l'll watch over your mother," " and you over the girls." "Let's not lose sight of them, not even for a second!" " No." " Shall I open?" " Open, dad!" "You open!" "Here we are!" "Girls!" "Welcome in your new home!" " Has grandpa arrived?" " No, later he gets here, better it is!" "Beh?" "Nicola, don't you say anything?" "You liked it, didn't you?" " Yes." " He liked it!" " Girls, quickly, get to work!" " Where're you going... with the girls?" "Upstairs, where else?" "Come girls, quickly!" "Hurry!" " The girls!" " Girls my foot!" " me, at 9:00, I got to be in the barracks" " Embe?" " l can't follow them everywhere!" " You must!" "Didn't we just made a deal?" "I'll watch over mother, you the girls!" " So?" " Alright, let's look after them!" "Nicola, don't joke, or you'll get my foot!" "You'll get it!" " How beautiful!" " Come in, Maria!" "We got so much to do!" " lt's gay, isn't it?" " l had told you!" "Anyway, there're too many sinks in this house." "It was a beauty saloon!" "And, they'll come in handy, there're so many of us!" " Why are they laughing?" " No, no." "They smile." "We're the new neighbours!" "It's true!" "How nice they are!" "Hello!" "Maria!" "Maria, get in!" "Let's not get too friendly!" "Damn it!" "You know it, then they'll begin asking for garlic, parsley, etc." "And they end up by asking for the entire house!" "Who can it be?" "Hello?" " lf we have reopened what?" " Oh!" " What rates?" "!" " The rates for the beauty saloon." " Go!" " But, father!" " Let's get the things out of the trunks." " Let's move it!" " And we, what're we doing?" "Mmmmmh..." "Nicola, you see her?" "I had told you to be careful!" "The jokes are beginning!" "Dad!" "If they find it out, I'll be he laughing-stock of the regiment!" "With everything I have on my head, should I worry about the regiment... .. and about everything else?" "Don't bother me!" " That entrance!" " The second one?" " Yes." " Thank you." " Please!" "But what do you want to do there?" "They've closed it!" " Who is it?" " Grandpa, father!" " Your father." " Bianca, come down!" "Grandpa's here!" "Maria Berta, come down!" "Run!" "Let's meet him!" "Let's see what he thinks about it!" " So, dad, don't you like it?" " No, no, it's beautiful!" "I feel like I've been in this house already." " Eh!" "Please!" "Humor me!" " Eh, humor me..." "For instance, I've seen this stairs!" " Stairs are all the same!" " l know, but..." " That fountain!" " This is a fountain?" "A fountain?" "!" "Admiting you know it, is that a fountain?" "Come, girls, let's move!" "Before going to bed, we must put everything in order!" "Hurry!" "Listen to it!" " Listen!" "Isn't this a fountain?" " Father, that's an obsession!" "This is a woman taking a footbath!" " This one, for instance." " The image of servitude!" " All these numbers..." " lt was a beauty saloon." " A saloon...?" " Beauty saloon!" "Father, it's 8:1 5. I have to go, or I'll get detention." " Nicola!" " l can't, dad!" " And me, what am I to do?" " l'll be back as soon as possible!" " Mother, where are you?" " She's sewing a button to the neighbour." " One moment, dady!" " What?" " One moment, daddy!" " What happened?" " One moment, daddy!" " What happened?" " One moment!" " Don't call me "daddy"!" "Oh!" "And still, me, in this beauty saloon, I have already been!" "What for?" "Mah!" "The hair..." "Maria!" "Maria!" "Maria!" "The thing came..." " One moment!" " Commendator Thing." "As soon as we'll settle, we'll be waiting for you." "Thank you. I wouldn't miss it!" "It's been 20 since I've been living next door... .. and I'm curious to see how is it on the inside!" "Maria, let's go!" "Excuse us, madame, we must hang the curtains." "Good-bye, madame!" "We're saying hello, madame!" "Eh, she's stretching her neck!" "Maria, I've already told you... .. not to start arguing with the neighbors, here also!" " Who's arguing?" "I know how these things end up!" " l'll take it!" "Nobody moves!" " What's with you today?" "Have you gone mad?" "I'll go..." "Ahi, ahi!" "Damn!" " Hello?" " Have you opened again?" "Wrong number!" " How are you, father?" " Salvatore!" "What are you doing here?" "Aren't you in Campobasso?" "I've come with the seminary to pay our respects to the new Pope." "But I've been granted permission to stay at home during these days." " Eh..." " l was looking forward to..." " Wait, Salvatore!" " What are you doing, father?" " Aren't you going to let me in?" " Sure I am!" "I have to!" "Come in, Salvatore." "Come in." "Mmmmh..." "You know, we're new around here." "We've come this morning." " What does he care?" " And how!" "If he treats me well, he wins a customer!" "Of course!" "I'll kill it for you, madame." "Yes, thank you." "Pluck it and send it to me at home." " 25 Fontanella st!" " Oh, at 25, where used to be..." " The beauty saloon!" " You know, that palace?" " He knows it, madame, he knows it!" " Do you know it?" "Give it to me, I'll kill it!" " Why, Peppino?" " Good-bye!" "How many times must I tell you not to give our address to everyone?" "!" "I told you must give it only in desperate situations!" " And then with that tone!" " What tone?" "Yes, "Fontanella st"!" "As if it was Palazzo Venezia!" "Don't talk loudly!" "Let's not divulge it!" " Have you taken the tomatoes?" " Yes." "Let's go!" "Damn the disorder!" "When you're looking for something, you don't find it!" " What are you looking for, grandpa?" " The screen." "Where is it?" " ln the cupboard, by the door." " Yes." " Be careful!" "is it heavy?" " No." "Dad, there're some people upstairs who want to talk to you!" " Men?" " There also is a lady." "We've put them in the sitting room." " Beh?" "Who are they?" " How should I know?" "We'll see." " Wait!" "The chicken!" " You must kill it, mustn't you?" " Of course!" "You think we'll eat it alive?" " lf you think I'm going to kill it..." "You must be wondering why we're here." "We've started an association, called CATEB." " Cat...?" " EB." "With a B." " City Association of Tenants from Ex Brothels." " Ah!" "You also, eh?" " Beh... make yourself at home!" " Thank you." " Thank you." "We are 4 until now, five with you." "But if they'll all be rented, we could really get into the big league..." " .. and could protect ourselves better!" " Protect ourselves, a sacrosanct truth!" "What's the matter, Peppino?" " Ah." " Protect ourselves from who?" " No, nothing." "They're my colleagues." "They're members of the City Association of Chiropodists." " Chiropodists?" "!" " Pedicurists, I'm sorry." "If we don't protect ourselves from the invasion of chiroprodist medicine, we'll all go bust!" "Please, let us speak." "Go, Maria." " You were saying?" " We'll send you a declaration..." " Sst!" "We'll send you a declaration to sign." " Let's now review the major problems, then we'll split the duties." " Yes." " ln first instance, the abolishment of the disgraceful relics!" " Which ones?" " The urinals!" " Will you take care of it?" "No, I'll take care of it, if you allow me." "Second: changing the name of the streets!" "Third: changing the phone numbers, because the old numbers are known by everyone in Rome." "Fourth: fighting using assidous and ruthless police surveilance... .. against rude and vulgar jokes, to which the associates are subjected to, jokes that, even with time, show no indication of diminishing." " They don't diminish..." " Last Saturday I found written on the entrance door..." " .. "off limits "." " Holidays are always a disaster." " lt's the nostalgics. - lt's on a holiday that they've attached the memorial tablet," " last Friday night." " The memorial tablet?" "!" " The cuckolds!" " Sst!" " Right under my wife's window!" " O, my God!" "Then, my wife could find a memorial tablet..." "And what did it say?" "That in that house even Giuseppe Mazzini had been... .. and that's where he had had the idea of giving the right to vote to women." "No, no, no!" "We must do something!" "I'd begin with a nice letter to the Mayor!" " So that he becomes aware we exist!" " Eh!" "A clear, honest expose!" "I'll write it, and send it to you." " Do you agree?" " Of course!" "And without kid gloves!" "We must be tough, very tough, rough, even, on those extended under the sole of the foot, without deep roots of difficult eradication and very painful!" "And that's without mentioning the corns, the so-called "'chicken eye"." "Do us a favor!" " As there is a master party in the house of certain maids...." " A what?" "!" "A master party!" "The masters have left." "And as the bersagliere is out of fashion and the maids have got shrewder," " we thought disguising ourselves as engineers." " What?" "Yes, in bourgeois!" "Can we change at your house?" " No, not at my house!" " Why?" "Because..." "I'm not going home, I have an errand to do!" " Don't be a swine!" " Let me go!" "I'm not coming!" " Where're you going?" "!" " At the station, to pick up my aunt!" "But the station is not that way!" " Where's he going?" "He's mysterious!" " Let's check him out!" "Wait for us!" " At the servant's entrance!" " Where will we change?" " On the stairs!" "His turning in Fontanella st!" "Here he is!" "Where's he going?" " When have you arrived?" " This morning." " Have you seen what a surprise?" " l have, I have." " Does father know it?" " Of course!" "He opened the door!" "He made one of those faces when he saw me!" " l bet he did!" " Why?" " Because he was happy!" "Salvatore, come here!" "Help me!" " Nicola, finally!" " How did it go?" "Until now, everything went smoothly, but I could hardly wait for you to come." " Why?" " l have to take a hot bath!" " Go!" "I'm here now!" " Will you take care of it?" " Yes, don't worry." " Upon a bersagliere's word?" " Eh!" " Careful with the priest!" " Alright!" " Mother!" "Who helps me with the curtains?" " l'm coming!" " Nicola, you go open!" " Yes, mother!" " Take this." " Easy!" " What do you want?" " Would this be the station?" " No." " What are you doing inside?" " Nothing!" " What's your business with sister Gina?" " Gina!" " Shut up!" "Listen, Corporal, if you came, it means there's something interesting here." " And if it's interesting for you..." " .. it's interesting for us also!" " Move!" " What are you doing?" " You wanted to trick us, didn't you?" " Go away, scoundrels!" " What's your business inside?" " Nothing!" "Nothing, eh?" "Alright..." "It's still open on the sly." " Got it?" "What have I been telling you?" " But it's dangerous, guys!" "Even me I'm going away!" " And who's holding you?" "!" " Have a nice walk!" " Stop!" "If they catch us, they'll send us all to Gaeta!" "Wait, guys!" "I'll take you to the private living room, eh?" "But isn't it me who took you to sister Gina?" "Sst!" "She's gone now!" "It's someone different!" " Who?" " l'll explain it afterward." "Let's go, guys!" "We still got time!" " And then, they are so ugly!" " Nicola!" " Nicola!" " These are my friends..." " Hello..." " Madame..." " Hello!" " Go, go!" " Come, on..." " Right now." " That's ugly?" "!" " She doesn't say anything to me!" " He's a regular, this shitface!" " Here, here!" "Go in here!" "Wow!" "It's got worse than before." "And then, it stinks cabbage like if it was my own home!" "It's a clandestine joint!" "What did you expect?" "Sit down!" " Look!" "Damn what an ambiance!" " Give it!" " Come, organize it!" "Are you bringing them here?" " Yes!" " Go, go!" " How did he get to know that here...?" " Mah!" "Occupied!" " Open, dad, it's urgent!" " There're three bathrooms!" " Open!" " Damn it!" "Not a moment's peace!" " What?" " Dad, we got trouble!" " O God!" "Have they found out everything?" " Not yet, but we must act!" "Act, act..." "I've been doing it since this morning!" "Do you remember the evening they shut it down?" "They were waiting for midnight like if it was New Year's Eve!" "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 !" "Bang!" "Italians, end of transmission!" " Hello." " Hello." "Hi." " lf l'm not wrong, you're Nicola's friends." " Yes." " l'm Bianca." " Glad to meet you." " Obviously that stupid Nicola didn't offer you anything, true?" " No." "That stupid Nicola didn't..." " A pity!" "So young..." " What do you care?" "Let's hope it's enough!" "We've had many visits today." "Cheers!" "Out!" "We've been discoveredi!" "Police!" "Save yourself!" "Leave her!" "Hurry!" " Run!" " Quickly!" " l had told you it was dangerous!" " Good-bye!" " But..." " Go, go!" " What police?" " l mean military police, the patrol!" "They went out without a leave, and they'd end up in military prison!" " This way!" " Now they'll close it for good!" " And the girls?" " All in prison!" "Forget about them!" "Mother, the slaves have again stolen the soap!" "You can laugh, but I still can't believe it!" "If tomorrow morning when I wake up I find myself again in 45 Pistoia st, last floor, apartment 1 8." "No, no!" "I had sworn I'd have a new home for the silver wedding, and I kept my word..." "As a matter of fact, I'm three days earlier!" "True, Peppino?" "Yes, I remember!" "Ah!" "So, with an effort, I remembered I..." "Dad, after all, shouldn't you stop tormenting your memory?" "You could get a thrombosis at your age!" " A what?" " A thrombosis!" " Don't joke about it!" "Must have been in another time, maybe another life..." "Who could say?" "I've been in this house before..." "Listen, when are you going to that meeting?" " Maybe tomorrow, father." " Maybe tomorrow." " So, when..." " Excuse me, father." "What do you mean "maybe"?" "Tomorrow morning everyone's at San Giacomo and, if the order comes, we go." " l am..." " Yes, but the order has to come," ".. or it's postponed until the greek calends!" "Let him speak!" "You really are a killjoy today!" " So, I..." " Listen, eh..." "This house!" "Can I speak or not?" "A little respect, damn it!" " l..." " Ah!" "You always spread your hands in front of you!" "Say, grandpa." "I wanted to say: this house was nothing less but the property... .. of aunt Minda's cousin." "She really was ugly, aunt Minta!" "You can't imagine!" "Put your glasses on a little!" " Why?" " Exactly!" " Spitting image!" " Whom of?" " Aunt Minta's." "Let's not joke about it." "Everything's coming back: the entrance, the stairs, the fountain!" "It's a fountain!" " But those door-bells..." " lf l may," " .. those door-bells must have been added afterward!" " Put your glasses on." "Let's not joke about!" "Shouldn't we go to bed, it's 23:00... .. and we woke up at 4:00?" "I have!" "Have they rung?" "It has to be Romano from Germany!" "What novel are you reading?" "Hello?" "Yes." "Yes, mother, it's him!" "He got the cable!" "Hi, Romano!" "How did it go?" " Oh, I'm sorry..." " Can't we leave her alone with her fiancee?" "To bed, Bianca, Salvatore, father!" "Did he hurt you?" "The eyebrow?" "Right or left?" " Ah, both..." "Oh..." " Nothing wrong with the nose?" "!" " Sst!" "Yes, the house is beautiful." "When will you be back?" "Tomorrow?" "Alright, that's what we'll do." "I won't wait for you at the airport." "I'll wait for you here." "Come right home." " Do you have paper and pencil?" "Write it down..." " Let me!" "Hello?" "It's me, the father!" "I'll explain you!" "There's no need for the name of the street." "Piazza del Popolo, yes?" "Piazza del Popolo, yes?" "Alright!" "Take the first left turn." "The narrow one!" "The big entrance." "The big one!" "I said the big one!" " Yes, she's fine!" "All the best!" " But you didn't let me say good-bye!" " He had no more money." " When is he coming?" " Tomorrow, with the plane." " With the plane?" " Yes." " At Ciampino?" " Yes." " East or West?" " West!" "Why?" " No, nothing." "Go to bed." " Good night, father." " Good night, honey." "What is it, father?" " We'll start all over." " What?" "At first I told you it looked like poor aunt Minta's cousin's house." " Yes." " Well no!" "But everything fitted well, didn't it?" "I remembered something that doesn't fit." " What?" " Poor aunt's cousin's house was in Naples!" " Father!" " Oh!" "When you remember something again, tell it first to me!" " Agreed?" " Alright." " Good night." " Good night." " You've already gone to bed?" " Eh, I couldn't resist anymore." "Peppino, what a day!" "Finally here, eh?" " Look!" "Do you recognize it?" " No!" "I bought when we won the lottery jackpot." " l kept it in a drawer." "You did well!" "You can never know, an illness..." "No... lt was for... the first night in the new home." "Do you like it?" "What's the matter with this window?" "You need patience, ma'am!" "Try a little each time, till it get's used to opening!" " What did that moron say?" " What did he say?" " Are you deaf?" " No, I didn't hear." " And what's this?" " What are they?" "Shackles?" "But what are shackles doing here?" "Ah, these are anti-theft chains!" "For bicycles." "The families used to put hang them at the windows when they went on holiday, so they'd scare away the thieves." "You should use them!" "Please!" "It'd look like living in a brothel!" " Are you reading?" " Eh, yes. I'm reading about the catching of this hotel mouse." "You know what?" "Marriage is better later, than in the beginning." "Seriously. I think one should go in the honeymoon later, when they've shown they're comfortable together." "Peppino, we made it, didn't we?" "We got to our silver wedding." "Beh, not yet." "Still three days missing." "25 years..." "Well..." " Where's the switch?" " l don't think the moment's right." "And then here..." "Where's the switch?" "On your side or on mine?" "On your side." " Peppino!" "Bianca!" " Yes, mother!" " Hurry, or you'll be late for school!" " l'm almost ready!" " Hello!" " Hello!" " ls Salvatore still in bed?" " No, he went out this morning before 7:00 I'll answer it!" " No, you're in your shirt." "You go, Maria Berta!" " Yes!" " No, let me go!" " No." "Close the window!" "Everything's slamming!" "Damn!" "What is it, a tornado?" "Certified mail." "Well?" "Excuse me, what are you looking at?" "Nothing..." " l got nostalgic." "Damn it!" " What is it?" " Certified mail." " Let me see!" "Give it!" "Who can it be?" " lt comes from CATEB." " What's that?" "Let's see." ""Dear professor Armentano,"" ""the sacrosanct demands of the tenants of ex brothels:"" ""removal of the disgraceful relics, urinals,"" ""extra surveilance for obscene phrases... "" "".. and various pranks. "" " "Dear Armentano..."" " Maria!" " ".. so that your wife can... " - l'm off shopping." " Peppino!" " What?" "For God's sake, where did you take us?" " What do you mean, where did I take you?" " Peppino!" "Peppino!" "I know everything!" "Do you know who used to live in this house?" "Sister Gina!" "Sister Gina!" "is it true?" "But why?" "Speak!" "Speak!" "You wouldn't understand me." "Peppino!" "Peppino, come here!" "Don't run away!" "Coward!" "Coward?" "!" " What is it?" " How should I know?" "Mother, what is it?" "O God, the girl!" "Please, she must not know anything!" " Mother, has anything happened?" " Nothing. I had an argument with dad... .. and I got a little angry, but you go to school now." " lf you want, I'll stay." " Go, dear." " l have no important clases this morning." " No, go to school." " But I..." " Bye." " Go to school, Bianca!" "Bye." "Bye." "I now understand the jokes, the wisecracks!" "Has Bianca gone out?" "!" "Bianca, don't talk to anyone!" "Don't stop with anyone!" "Alright, don't worry." "My God, what a shame!" " My God!" "Romano arrives at 1 5.:00!" " Maria!" "Don't worry. I'll go at the airport and I'll try to stop him." "Please, think up an excuse!" "Don't let him come here!" "Have you also found out?" "And Peppino knew it before coming here?" "Son of a bitch!" "Come on, don't cry!" "Look at me!" "Am I crying?" "Then?" "Oooh... I don't understand what's there to cry about!" "Nice house, fixed rent..." "And, then, I like it here!" " Excuse me, do you always work here?" " From July '26." "Don't you happen to know if there was a round-up yesterday?" " How should I know?" "Ask at the newspaper salesman. - lt doesn't matter." "Thank you." " Hi, Bianca." " Hi." " What else happened yesterday evening?" " We didn't see anything, and you?" "Well, me, after a minute, I was just a dot in the horizon!" " Come on, let's go back home." " Why?" " Let's resume where we left it yesterday." " Let's resume in the 52." " ln the bus?" "!" " Yes." " But it's not the best place!" " Listen, I'll be late for school." " You're going to school?" "!" " What school?" " Teaching college." " Eh?" "!" "What's so strange?" "Come, run for it" " The volume of the sphere?" " 4/3 Pi R3." " Surface of the lune of a sphere - 4 pi R2 alpha/90." "Oh, the bell!" "The sister's there!" "Stop here!" " You even learn at the nuns?" " Come pick me up tomorrow!" " Alright, but no geometry!" " Yes. - l pick you up, and then we go home, right?" " No home!" "At the cinema's better!" " How come better?" "!" " Bye!" ""l Dream"." " What is it?" " l wasn't talking to you!" "Good evening!" "What's with you, professor?" "Your hand's shaking?" " Nothing." " How come nothing?" "You've cut my big toe!" " Better?" "Yes, but don't come do my pedicure, if your hands are shaking!" "Attention!" "Alitalia announces the departure of Flight..." "Mister Luciano!" " What are you doing here?" " l'm waiting for the Berlin plane." " Have you seen how cute they are?" " Who are they?" "Five indian princes." " lmagine they're going around the world alone!" " Yes?" "And the eldest isn't even eight years old!" " But who are you wainting for here?" " Romano." "By the way, congratulations!" " You won it over your father, didn't you?" " How did you find out?" "Don't be modest." "It's front page sport news!" " But it's me who brought you good luck!" " Did you?" " Sure!" "As soon as one becomes my friend, she gets married right away!" "They all do!" "Rich and poor, beautiful and ugly!" "Even those I'd like to marry." " ls it the first time you've come here?" " Yes, and I feel like wanting to fly." " When is his plane landing?" " At 1 5:05." " The 1 5:05 from Berlin?" " Yes." "But it's one hour late!" "They've just announced it." " Are you sure?" "You really heard it?" " Yes, very sure!" "Instead of waiting here, why don't we take a walk?" " l'll show you the airport!" " But I can't..." " Come on!" "It's so big!" "Where should I sit?" " There, in the back." " Where?" "Here?" " Yes." "And what do I do now?" "Look outside, as if you saw someone coming to pick you up." " O God..." " What is it?" " Nothing..." " Ah, no!" "Now you'll tell me everything!" "What happened?" "I couldn't tell you, even if I'd want to." "Well, try!" "No, I can't." " ls it about Romano?" " Him also." "Well, is it... that bad?" " We moved out yesterday." " Well, up to this point..." " Come on!" " And this morning we realized that..." "You realized what?" "That father... had took us to live in one of those houses." "Oh, dear me!" " Why do I make you laugh?" " No, my dear. ln fact, you're moving me." " Why did you do this?" " l don't know, but I had to." "You're an extraordinary character, but finish your story." "Romano doesn't know it, isn't it so?" "He doesn't!" "That's why I came to wait for him, so that I can stop him!" "He mustn't find out, because if he does, everything's over!" "Listen, I think I did a big one." " Come, quickly!" "Let's go!" " Why?" " lt has already landed." " No!" " Yes, right on time!" "Come, I'm with my car." "Maybe we'll get in time to stop him." "And then, be calm." "What do you think can happen?" " He has arrived." "That's his car." "Good-bye." " Wait!" " No!" "Would you like he found me in car with you?" " One moment!" "I must ask you three things, but they're very important." "Think well before answering." "If I swear I'm ready to do anything," " is there anything I can do to help you?" " No, no." " Would it be a tragedy if you broke up with Romano?" " l don't know." "Mustn't we think about what happened... before?" " When?" " Before." "No." "Alright." "Then, break a leg!" "Good-bye." " l'll call to find out how it went." " Yes." "Good-bye." "It's a pity it rains!" "When it's bright, it's quite a different house!" " Maria Berta!" " Hi, Romano!" "Where have you been till now?" "I went to the wrong airport." "I'm sorry." "In all that confusion, I didn't understand anything." " Why did you go there for?" " Well, like this..." " Hadn't I told you to stay at home?" " l wanted to surprise you!" " Well, come up for now, and we'll talk about it later!" " Yes." "See?" "See?" "In order to surprise him, you lost the oppurtunity to show him the house," " which he liked very much, didn't you?" " Beautiful!" "He told me he had never been in such a house. lsn't it so?" " Never been!" " Never been in such a house in his life!" "Come, I want to show you the other conveniences we've got." " lt went well, Maria Berta." "He never was." " How come?" "!" "Nothing, dear." "He's a good boy." "But the bells." "Usually, they are in the kitchen, in the other houses." " Not here!" "Here they're in the hall!" " Like in hotels." " Exactly!" " Romano!" " Yes?" " Can I make you a coffee?" " Thank you, but for me it's poison." "As a matter of fact, for the future:" "never coffee, alcohol and wine." "Got it?" "This one... never anything!" "Romano, just for once, have a coffee!" "I know you like it." " l like it, but I won't." " Just for once, make an excception!" " Mmmh..." " Make an exception to the rule!" "Make the exception!" "Don't insist." "Don't you see you're wet?" "Go and change, or you'll catch a cold, and you'll give it even to me!" "Come!" "This is the russian living room." "The next one is the cossack one, and to the left the chinese one." " Hello?" " Maria, I'm coming back, but with Salvatore." "If we make a scene, this angel will find out everything, and I don't know what the consequences of such an upset could be." "Here they are!" "They're in front of me." "He has just come out from the Holy Father." "We'll have time to talk about it after he'll go to bed." "Bye." "1 , 2 and 3!" "Eeeh..." "That's my move!" "Come on!" "Wake up, wake up!" "Here it is!" "So..." "Your turn, Salvatore!" " You have to eat!" " l'm not hungry." "You have to take the pawn!" " Ah..." " Without me telling you..." "Eh, you are getting advice?" "Salvatore, come on!" "Like this, like this, like this!" "Oh!" "What does he want?" "Salvatore, come on!" "Now mother's going to make us a cup of strong coffee, I'll see if there's something on the radio and..." " Enough!" " We..." " Enough!" " We..." " Enough!" "If it's because of me, you can let him go to bed!" " Did you see what you did?" " What?" " What?" "!" "Getting to know him, he's exactly how I imagined him:" "very nice, always gay and even a bit of a scoundrel." " Exactly the opposite of Romano!" " But deep inside he's very serious!" " lmagine, he insists coming to see me at home!" " Here?" " Yes." " And mother's crying..." " Yes." " But what happened to dad?" "I'll tell you, you're not a little girl anymore." "It's better you also know it, so you'll know what to do with that boy." " Good night, Salvatore." " Good night, father." "Are you asleep?" "You have cried, haven't you?" "It's alright, you vented it out." "We couldn't have discused about it when you were nervous." "We'd have ended up fighting." "Now, that you're more calm, peaceful, serene, we can talk about it more relaxed, we can meet half way without being so stiff." "True, Maria?" "I give you two days to take me away from this place." "Good night." " But, Maria..." " l don't want to hear anything about it!" "I give you two days to take me away from this place." "Good night." "Oh..." "Eh?" "Tell me the truth:" " you had already been here!" " Here where?" "Don't pretend you don't understand!" "In this house, when it was opened!" " When it was closed!" " What's going through your mind at this hour?" "Answer me!" "Had you already been here?" " No..." "I don't..." " O God, you had been!" "Yes, but I was only passing through!" "Maria!" "Maria!" " Excuse me, Maria Berta, can I stay with you?" " Of course." "I'm sorry to bother you, but there, with father, I couldn't take it anymore." "Better, I wasn't sleeping either..." "Do you know your father has already been here, before?" "But Romano has never been!" "Men are all the same, they make you sick!" "Salvatore!" "Armentano!" "Here they are!" " Hi!" " Hi!" "Good mornig, Father!" "I'm coming down to let you in!" " lt's a surprise!" " Eh?" " Dad!" " O God!" " l made you a surprise!" "Bianca, Maria Berta, hurry up!" "Come down!" " What is it?" " He brought the whole seminary here!" " What?" "!" " Hurry!" "We must send them away!" "Run, Peppino!" "Dad!" "Mom!" " Hello to everybody!" " Admit it was a big surprise!" "I've asked the Father Rector to be the first to... .. bless our new home!" "Well done, Salvatore." "Thank you, Father." " Oh, it's my pleasure." " lt can't be..." "Everything's a mess." "And even the house..." "Our Lord doesn't look at certain things." "So?" " Get on your knees!" " Please..." "But is it possible here inside?" "It's a sacrilege!" "It's a house like any other!" "Get that into your head!" " Dominus vobiscum." " Et cum spiritu tuo." "Eh?" "Ah." " Where are you, people?" " Pax vobiscum." " Aren't we having any breakfast in this house?" " Sst!" "In nomine Patris..." " Good-bye!" " Bye, dad!" "Bye, mom!" "Well, now they've even blessed it!" " And now we can at last have breakfast!" "Maria, what are you doing?" "What are you doing?" " Closing!" "I'm locking everything!" "Everything!" " But..." "And who's going to buy bread?" "Boys, we have to go and buy bread!" "Now that that innocent has gone away, there's no ned to act anymore!" "Come on!" "I don't want to press you, but I want to make you understand..." " What does that moron want?" " Maria!" " What is it to look at?" "Let me go, please!" "The show's over!" "Think about Bianca!" "She doesn't know anything yet!" "Bianca knows everything!" "Come!" " You tell father you know everything!" " Yes, dad." "In the end, who's going to buy that bread?" "I am not, and the girls even less!" "And remember:" "in this house, we women are burried alive!" "Let's not exagerate!" "Burried alive, or burried dead!" "And the girl must go to school." "No, she isn't going out!" "She's not going to be insulted and disrespected!" "No, mother!" "Whom I'm interested in doesn't disrespect me!" " Ah, yes?" "And who is that?" " Someone who knows where l live, and has had the delicacy of not even bringing it up!" "I'll lock you into your room!" " And I'll run through the window." " You're right, Bianchina, go!" "Father's supporting you!" "I'm proud to know such an open-minded man!" "Yes, trust your father!" "Go!" "But remember:" "your mother has warned you!" "Maria Berta, help me close all the windows!" "All!" "Well, then I'll be going father." "Bye." "If she goes out anyway, tell her to buy bread!" "Hey, enough with the bread!" "Does it look as like the moment to think about eating?" "Maria!" "How can I find a house?" "I haven't found it in 1 2 years." "How could I find it in two days?" " Maria!" " l'm hungry!" "When I was supporting you, they never lacked fresh bread in the morning!" "They'd gorge themselves!" "I give you my pension, to the last dime!" "Thieves!" "But from this month on..." "Nothing!" "Scoundrels!" "But you should see her!" "Thing is, not knwowing her, you'd marry her!" "It's a mystery!" "Maybe it's a double personality, like Dr. Jekyll!" "Come on!" "She's the classic prostitute type with ink dirty hands!" "They put the schoolbag down, and go to work!" "They take back the schoolbag, and go to the nun's school!" " But just show her 5,000 and then..." " Besides the fact I don't have it, but, even if I had it, I'd feel hands tied." "Then, you've got a complex!" "Go to the doctor, or to the chaplain," " but get cured, because it's serious!" " Hi, boys!" " How are you?" " We got troubles." " By the way, have you heard the news?" " What?" " The house is open, wide open!" " Which one?" "What do you mean "which one"?" "The house!" "Sister Gina!" "Only thing is Felice hasn't got one lira, and neither have I." "You should convince them to credit us!" " No." "D'you know his problem?" "He's jealous" " Jealous my foot!" "There's never been anything between him and the girls!" "I'm telling you, I asked her:" ""What is Nicolo to you?"." " "A brother"." " Foster brother!" "Do you really hope they'll entrust you with children to teach them?" " Why not, wouldn't you?" " Maybe little ones, under 1 0 years." " Ahi!" " Have you hurt yourself?" " Ohi, ohi!" " What is it?" " A muscle strain." " Alright, tomorrow I'm off to the doctor." " Then, we won't see each other?" " But around 1 7:00 I'll be healed!" " lt's time to go now." " O, no!" " O, yes!" "No!" "You brought me here just for somersaults?" "I can't be late. I had to fight this morning so I could get... .. permission to go out." "You know, we're going through some rough times at home." "And you're so nice pretending you don't know." "But you know the house I live in..." "Exactly!" "And I've had it with pretending I don't know it!" " Never try that again!" " Don't play shrewd with me!" " Bastard!" "Coward!" " Wait!" "Stop!" " You go with the others, and not with me?" "Beacuse I don't have money!" " Let me go!" "Will you, or won't you?" "I'd better go." "Cursed be the day I met you!" "Come on!" "Blame it also on me!" "Look at her." "Don't you see your daughter?" "Didn't you hear what she went through?" "I had told you he was a scoundrel!" "You go dress, now." "Don't make Romano wait for you," " he might be the only thing that can still be salvaged." " Alright, I'm going." " Enough, Bianchina, calm down." " And you were lucky!" "I know him!" "He holds nothing sacred." "He doesn't even respect a friend's sister!" "Nicola, keep quiet, it's better!" "Because there might come point where l could get annoyed!" " Father!" " Yes!" "It's an exageration, blaming everything on me!" "At a certain point, everyone must assume his responsibility!" "Let's give to Caesar what is Caesar's!" " And to Nicola what is Nicola's!" " Father, no!" " Holy Virgin, what more?" " This young gentleman, being ashamed in front of his colleagues, has said that here still was... .. a whore house!" "That's why they don't respect your daughters!" "is it true, Nicola?" " l'm sorry, mother." " Bianca!" " Why did you tell her?" "Yes, I did it because..." "Don't look at me this way, mother!" "I'll... get a transfer!" " l'll go to Catania!" " And you let him leave like this?" " Run after him!" " Sure, I'll go to Catania!" "Listen, Nicola!" "Nicola!" "Hey, where're you?" "Where're you?" "Where're you?" "We made the newspapers!" "We've become popular!" "Look at this!" "Here it is!" "You see?" "No, this is the State Department." "That's me, at the window." "This is our house." "They made me look so young!" "Eh, yes..." "Maria Berta, Romano mustn't read the evening paper!" " He already has. lt was him on the phone." " And?" "!" "There's no need for me to dress up anymore." " Grandpa, can I have the paper?" " Sure, my dear!" "He likes us, this journalist... .. and especially you!" "It looks like if he knew you." " Has he dumped you?" " Yes." ""Will you be happy, now?" "Be superior, Maria!"" ""Be superior!"" "Why don't you say it now?" "Say it!" "No!" "But I'll tell you something else, and I'm telling it to everyone!" "Everyone listen to me!" "As I am a good-for-nothing, bankrupt, an irresponsible, a miserable who has failed everything in his life, from this moment one I declare the family dissolved." " ln what way?" " ln the way that I reseign." "From now on, everyone can do how he thinks fit." "Who wants to stay, can stay;" "who wants to go, can go." "There're no more rights, nor duties, no father, no son, no wife, no husband!" " But there still are grandpas!" " Especially grandpas!" "is it clear?" "Ah!" "How light I feel!" "And as far as I'm concerned, I'm going to the cinema, to have a good laugh." "Good night." "Mother!" "Mother, forgive me!" "I couldn't!" "What couldn't you?" "Mother!" "Yes, my treasure, I'm your mommy." "Unburden yourself..." " l was ashamed in front of my friends." " What of?" "That my mother and sister live in sister Gina's house." " Ah, yes?" "Son of a..." " No, mother!" "Forgive me!" "Yes, my treasure, I forgive you." "Sleep now." "Turn on your fat side, come..." "Sleep." " Carbone!" "Hey, Carbone!" " What?" " Do you want to have a nice Sunday tomorrow?" " l'd wish it!" "Sister Gina's not closed." "It carries on on the sly." " Come on!" " lf l say so!" "You must say Nicola's sending you." "But, please:" "don't tell anyone!" " Don't worry!" "Thanks." " For nothing." "You know that when I can help a friend..." "Hey!" "Sister Gina's has opened on the sly." " Really?" "!" " Spread it on!" " Hey!" "Sister Gina's has reopened!" " lt has reopened!" "It has reopened!" " You must say Nicola's sending you." " Wake up!" "Silence, guys!" "Wanna have a nice Sunday?" " l'm going right away!" " Sst!" " Have they gone away?" " They're in, they're in!" "But they're ashamed!" " Oh, it was you!" " What happens?" "The phone's dead, the door-bell doesn't work, everything's closed..." " Why?" "What do you want?" " l wanted to know how it went!" " Very bad!" " Then, my story was of no good!" "It even made things worse!" "I'm sorry. I tried helping you." "I was sure that making a joke of it..." " l swear, I had good intentions." " l know." " Nicola sent us." " Nicola?" "!" "To do what?" "What do you mean?" "Nicola sent us!" "1 , 2, 3, 4 and 5!" "There's a mistake!" "Go away right now!" "Don't get angry!" "Excuse us!" " What did they want?" " Nothing." "But now, you must go also, please." " When can I see you again?" " ln a few days." " Promise?" " Promise." " Bye." " Bye." "I kiss you." "Bye." " Maria Berta!" " What?" " Come!" "Mother's begining to exagerate!" "I'm calling for the add." "Only part time?" "No, I'm sorry. I only want full time." "Yes, I'm from Rome, but I don't have where to live and I have to spend the night also." " l'm sorry." "Good-bye." " Don't you hear her, dad?" "!" "I do." "She speaks like this on purpose, so we can hear!" " And you're doing nothing!" " She doesn't mean it!" " She wants to become a servant?" "You speak to her, father!" " Please!" " And then, she's got no references..." " Tell her to stop!" "I'm calling for the add." "Thank you, I'll hold." " Mother..." " What do you want?" "I don't know what you intend." "I don't understand anything anymore, but there's something I have to tell you." "I don't care at all me and Romano are through." "It may even be that, without this house, I might have been unhappy my whole life." "I told you so you should know that, as far as I'm concerned, there's no tragedy." "Hello?" "Good day." "I'm calling for the add." "I read that you'd need a maid and a gardner." "Yes, available right away, but we're not husband and wife," " we're father and daughter." " Eh?" " Yes, madame. I'm 42 and my father 65. - 7 2!" "But he's strong as a bull." "You'll see." "What bull, I can hardly stand?" " Have you gone mad?" " Tell me." " l don't know nothing about gardening!" " You'll learn." " Do you really mean it?" " Didn't you hear last night?" "He doesn't want you!" " Haven't you got any dignity?" " No." "Of course, madame." "No!" " From this evening on we'll be at the Maria Immacolata charitable foundation." "If you want, we can come right away." "Get dressed!" "Get the suitcase ready!" " What a madhouse!" " Yes, madame." "Agreed." "Thank you." " Who is it?" " Let's go, dad." "I'm coming. I'm ready." "Bye." "Thanks for the thought, Peppino, but I can't accept it." "Today is not the anniversay of our silver wedding." " lt's the first day of our separation." " Maria!" "Peppino, I'll send someone to pick the luggage and to give you the new address." "Don't leave me without news from you." "It must end like this." "Mother's always ready to come back home..." "providing it's a real home." " Let's go, dad." " l'm not leaving!" "Peppino, can I stay with you?" "I'll give you all of my pension, 1 4.000 lire a month." "And I'll help!" "I'll go shop, wash the dishes, shine the shoes." "I won't be a gardner!" "That's it!" "Earthworms make me sick!" "Can I stay with you?" " Of course." "Everyone can." " Then, I'll take advantage of this." "Take it!" "Father!" "She's really leaving!" "No." "No she isn't!" "It's impossible." "She knows very well l'll never be able to give her another house." "And she does what?" "Goes away for good?" "No, she'll be back!" " They're opening!" " Hurry up, Enrico!" "They're opening!" " What's the matter?" "What do you want?" " Nicola sent us." " Make way!" " l was first!" " What are you doing?" "Stop it!" " What are you looking for?" " What do you mean, ma'am?" " The girls?" " Yes!" " Bianca?" " Yes, Bianca!" " Maria Berta also?" " She also!" " Madame, I'd even fancy you." " Ah, yes?" " Eh, yes!" "Go, go, go!" "Go, go, go!" "This is not what you think!" "It's an honest house!" "Sister Gina's not here anymore!" "This is an honest family!" "Get that into your head!" "An honest family!" "I'm telling it to you, and I'm telling it to everybody!" "Here lives madame Armentano with her husband and children!" " We want to be left alone!" " Well done, Maria!" "Well done!" "And as for you, it's better you know it!" "I'm the mother of your Corporal Nicola Armentano!" "is it understood?" "Cowards!" "Cowards!" "Don't touch her, she's my mother!" "The heroe has come!" "get into the house!" "And you, go, scram, march!" " Get lost!" "Scram!" " Go, go, go!" "I'll go to your commander!" "Mother!" " And do you want an advice?" "Soldiers and civilians," " Shut up!" "enough with this nostalgia!" "It's not only rude, it also is useless!" "They have closed them!" "You, Italians, have got an obsession!" "Get rid of it!" "They have been closed!" "Deal with it!" " Dad!" " Let me go!" " Enough, they'll arrest us!" "Father!" "Hi!" "Well done, Maria!" "Well done!" "You've said well:" "ours is an honest family!" " What does he want?" " What are you waiting for?" "Aren't you convinced?" "Yes, but I'd like to clear up a misunderstanding." "With Bianca, eh?" "What misunderstanding?" "I'm an engineer in civil life."