"(whipping sound)" "(fight and round bell in background)" "Mark:" "You're light?" "Fighter:" "Yeah." "Mark:" "You know are you sure you don't want your old job back at the shop?" "My dad could use you." "You got your ass kicked out there." "Fighter:" "I won, didn't I?" "Mark:" "Won?" "Are you nuts?" "You got knocked out." "Fighter:" "Uh, yeah, well I'll get better." "Just screw working on cars, alright?" "This is my job now" "I'm gonna make millions." "Mark:" "Yeah, millions of concussions." "African-American Man:" "Waaaa waaaa." "Mark:" "Look, you're almost 40 years old." "And when did you plan on jumping from amateur to pro?" "When you're 50?" "You made good money as a mechanic." "Go back" "Fighter:" "That's crap, alright." "I'm going to be a fighter." "I'm good, I know I am." "Mark:" "Yeah, at least one of us knows." "Look I train you to be in my corner Mark." "The least you can do is give me a chance, right?" "Mark:" "Alright." "Alright" "But could you look at my car this week?" "It's making this weird noise again." "(imitating strange car noises) [unintelligible] want to know if you fix the old girl." "Fighter:" "Yeah okay, I'll get your car Mark." "Mark:" "You know, you got determination" "I'll give you that." "Even if it's stupid determination." "And, and you've got a killer right hook but you'll never be able to use it unless you work your arms and work your legs." "And you've gotta chop the weight man." "Fighter:" "Well that's not going to be a problem" "Cynthia made me stop eating so I'm going to drop the weight like it's nothing." "Mark:" "She made you stop eating?" "Fighter:" "Yeah, she thinks I'm fat." "She weighs me in like every day." "Mark:" "You know you've gotta get yourself a new girlfriend" "That's messed up" "And I told you that before." "Hot Girl:" "Oh Francis you were so amazing tonight." "When you hit that guy in the face and busted open his jaw that's what gets me so hot." "(boooiiiiiing)" "Hot Girl:" "I love you Francis and I can't imagine being without you" "I just have to know that you'll be with me forever" "(booooiiiiinnnnnggggg)" "I can't take no for an answer." "Now did you like that?" "Fighter: [unintelligible]" "I thought you did." "How about this?" "Yeah." "(slow music)" "How do you like that?" "(laughing)" "I can do this every day when we're married." "(laughter)" "You deserve this Francis." "Do you like what you see?" "(Fighter mumbling)" "Yeah, I know you do." "Oh yeah." "Yes." "I would do anything for you." "Ooooh, I just love you sweetheart." "(slow music)" "Fighter:" "My name's not Francis." "Hot Girl:" "What?" "Francis is going to hear about this." "You're just" "(slaping) screwy." "(slapping)" "Trainer:" "You know the next time a hot girl comes up to you calls you Francis tells you that she loves you rubs her titties in your face pretend your name is Francis!" "(slapping)" "Fighter:" "Uhhh." "Hey I've got a girlfriend Mark." "Trainer:" "Oh don't give me that" "I've got a girlfriend" "Bo-log-na." "Fighter:" "I'm pretty sure it's pronounced bologna Mark." "Sure?" "Hey?" "What's that say there." "Bo-log-na!" "Fighter:" "Ahhhh." "What's wrong with you?" "Who carries around packages of bologna in their bag?" "Trainer:" "You'll find out when you're my age." "Fighter:" "What?" "Trainer:" "Get some ice on that jaw and lose some weight for God's sake." "Suck a dick." "Cynthia:" "Hi honey" "Fighter:" "Hey babe." "Cynthia:" "Ooooh, you good?" "Fighter:" "Other than the fact I don't remember getting my ass kicked." "Mark thinks I'm a terrible fighter." "Yeah, I guess you could say I'm good." "Cynthia:" "You remember what tonight is right?" "Fighter:" "No." "(slap)" "Stop acting like a pussy or your girlfriend's gonna punch you in the face night." "You're the one who quit your job to become a fighter." "You told me that you could make money doing this so now I'm just the pregnant girl who's to sit at home and worry about the mortgage and do the housewife thing." "So don't look at me for sympathy." "Fighter:" "Wait, you're pregnant?" "Cynthia:" "You knew I was pregnant Richard!" "You could sense it!" "Richard:" "I could sense it?" "That's insane." "What am I, some friggin' Jedi Knight can sense information out of the wind?" "Cynthia:" "You know what Rich?" "One of these days you're just gonna have to grow up." "You wanna be a kung fu fighter?" "Fine!" "Go for it!" "Richard:" "I think Mark was right." "Cynthia:" "Mark what?" "Richard:" "Why does everything have to be such a big deal with you." "I love you babe, alright?" "I love you." "Just act like a normal person once." "Chill out!" "Everything's gonna be okay." "Cynthia:" "You chill out!" "Richard:" "Whose car is that outside?" "Cynthia:" "It's your sisters." "Richard:" "Sisters?" "So if it's a money thing, I get it." "I'll help you out." "But you've been avoiding your entire family." "If this is another psychotic boyfriend thing" "In fact I want you out of the house." "Sister:" "Nice to see you too Rich." "Richard:" "So what did this guy do to you?" "Sister:" "Slow down." "It's not like that this time." "Richard:" "You're, you're living on a prayer here." "I swear to God." "I'm over this crap!" "Sister:" "What are you talking about?" "Richard:" "I'm talking about you." "Traveling around screwing frickin' bands and artists and frickin' mimes." "Who the hell goes out with a friggin' mime?" "Sister:" "Will you hold on for one second and let me explain myself?" "Richard:" "Knock yourself out." "Sister:" "Yes." "It's about my new boyfriend." "Woooooow, what a shocker." "Sister: (laughing) He is nice." "He's not a dirtbag." "He's just well ..." "Serial killer?" "Murderer?" "Child molester?" "What?" "Sister:" "No!" "He's missing, okay?" "I think someone kidnapped him." "Richard:" "Someone kidnapped your boyfriend." "Give me a break." "Sister:" "I think someone took him because" "(screaming)" "Cynthia: (screaming) Put me down." "Oh put me down." "Richard:" "Who or what are you?" "Big Fat Guy:" "Titties." "Take that!" "(taser sound)" "(screaming)" "(thumping and electronic sounds)" "(explosion)" "(screaming)" "(water dripping)" "(thundering)" "(whipping sound)" "Man In Purple:" "Run, run for your life." "We all gonna die." "Run." "(punching and slapping)" "Richard: (yelling)" "(gorilla roar)" "Richard: (growling)" "(slapping and hitting)" "Richard:" "Good fight." "My name's Richard." "Gorilla: (Arghhhhh)" "Richard:" "Look,I don't want to hurt you." "The last thing I remember is some big fat guy says "titties"." "Now I'm here and I don't know what the hell's going on." "Gorilla: (screeching)" "Richard:" "You wanna be a jerk?" "Fine." "Gorilla:" "Arghhhh." "Arghhhh." "(upbeat music)" "Old Man:" "I love me some titties." "Ah haaaa!" "More grape juice." "(mysterious music)" "Old Man:" "Boobies." "Beautiful boobies." "Boobies of all shapes and sizes." "Just for me!" "(bumbling sound)" "I have found the special one" "My day has come." "I have found Raine Brown." "(upbeat music)" "(techno music)" "Indian:" "Only a man with his true heart may pass." "Richard:" "I understand." "Indian:" "Do you?" "(crow squawking)" "Indian:" "Ahh, yes, I want to take you to dinner." "Richard:" "What?" "Indian:" "I wanna take you to dinner." "You are Soaring Eagle and I am Two Dogs Fucking." "I have seen us in my visions." "It is our destiny." "C'mon." "Buy you nice things and bring you flowers 'cause it'll make you happy and then I want to take you home and make love to you on my soft llama-skin bed." "Llama skin is very nice, very soft very expensive." "Richard:" "Yeah, well uhh (laughing)" "Indian:" "You are lost." "Richard:" "Yeah, no shit." "Indian:" "You've come from a far away land where they have restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food like pancakes and cheeseburgers and where people eat so much that they have to wear moomoos." "Richard:" "Oh, so you've been to Florida." "African-American Man:" "Waaaa waaaaa." "(bag crunching)" "Richard:" "What's with the sandwiches?" "Indian:" "They are here to remind us that somewhere there is a group of hungry bums who will eat anything." "(gnawing sound)" "Richard:" "Dude." "What?" "!" "Indian:" "I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry it's this book." "(howling)" "It's the only book I had to occupy my time here." "Makes me less of a man than I used to be." "Richard:" "Can't you just get another book?" "Indian:" "No." "This is the only book here." "It's a blessing and a curse." "(bing sound)" "I am a prisoner in this realm." "(birds chirping)" "I disobey the laws of this world and cannot leave my sacred grounds." "I was foolish in my youth and now I am trapped." "Richard:" "Look Mr. Indian man" "Indian:" "It's Two Dogs Fucking." "Richard:" "Look, uh, TDF." "I'm a little short on time." "My girlfriend got kidnapped and I've been running around in circles trying to find her, alright?" "I have no idea where she is or how to get her back." "I just want to find out where she is and how to get her back." "Okay, if I get you a different book" "(loud wild animal roars) are you going to help me?" "Enough!" "Enough already!" "Good God!" "Like a Bermuda Triangle of friggin' acid trips out here." "Indian:" "Another book?" "You would buy me another book?" "Richard:" "Yes." "Would you help me?" "Indian:" "I swear on my life." "I'd do anything for you." "Richard:" "I know this entirely inappropriate for many reasons but it's the only book I've got." "(book landing on ground)" "Indian:" "Does everyone where you come from have tiny versions of books?" "Richard:" "Well no, not everyone." "Indian:" "The Bibley." "Richard:" "It's pronounced the Bible." "Indian:" "Yes, the Bibley." "Richard: (deep breath)" "Indian:" "A man who can make a little tiny book appear from nowhere you truly are the special one." "I will help you on your quest." "Soaring eagle." "Richard:" "Thank you Two Dogs." "Now how do I find my fucking girlfriend?" "Indian:" "There is an evil man named Zefrose who has ruled over this dominion for hundreds of years" "(thundering) [unintelligible] but his magic is too strong for us to have ever mounted a successful charge." "(water bubbling)" "This Zefrose collects women." "His vast army trains them in the art of pole dancing and strip tease." "Very dark heart." "He believes that he has found the woman from his vision" "His obsession." "His future wife." "He believes that your Cynthia is this woman but he has been fooled!" "Zefrose may be vulnerable while his attention is fixed on your girlfriend." "We must infiltrate his compound." "(howling and barking)" "Richard:" "Which way is it?" "Indian:" "Such fearlessness." "I will inform my forest creatures." "(creature squawking)" "They will guide you." "Richard:" "Thank you Two Dogs Fucking." "Indian:" "Be careful Soaring Eagle." "You are the chosen one of the prophecy." "One to save all who dwell in this dimension." "The one to usher in a new era." "Seek out the Croatian." "He is much older, stronger, and wiser than I am." "Richard:" "Thank you Two Dogs Fucking." "Goodbye." "(explosion)" "(crying and screaming)" "Screaming Woman:" "Help me." "Anybody out there?" "Oh my God, get me out of here." "(distorted voice) Help me, help me please." "Please help me." "Old Man: (laughing) One, three, four, five take, take" "(throaty choking noise)" "(liquid pouring)" "Grape juice, delicious." "Thank you, the grape." "Put her in room number eight thousand eighty five." "This one is special." "I have finally found her." "Soon the prophecy shall be fulfilled." "Crying Woman:" "Let me go." "Man in Scarf:" "C'mon, c'mon." "Crying Woman:" "Where are we?" "Man in Scarf:" "Get comfortable." "I would like a granola." "I'll trade you two blueberries for a granola." "Man in Vest:" "No." "No, no, no, no." "The granola is very meaningful to me." "My grandmother ate granola." "Man in Scarf:" "Fine." "Two blueberry cereals and a marshmallow for one granola?" "Man in Vest:" "Ooooh, okay." "That'll work but" "I also want those crispy circular rice balls you have, huh?" "Man in Scarf:" "Mmmm, that's gonna cost ya." "Man in Vest:" "That's alright." "(down whistle and ding)" "Marcel:" "Very nice, yes." "The master, he likes it when you dance [unintelligible]" "(old-time dance music)" "(woman screaming and crying)" "(whoosh)" "Richard:" "Give it up Marcel." "Let her go." "Marcel:" "You think you can just come in here and say let her go and I would hand her over to you?" "Like this is some chintzy Arnold Schwarzenegger film?" "You Americans are all the same." "You are all bread with no butter." "You are all steak with no peppers." "You are like a chicken who went across the road" "You are like breakfast without wine" "You are like an armpit without hair." "Richard:" "Dude!" "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "Just let her go." "Marcel:" "As I recall I am the man with the whip and you are the fat American with the flabby jelly arms." "Richard:" "That's it!" "(punching)" "(both men grunting)" "Marcel:" "Oh it's the gorilla man." "Once again you find luck in the face of [unintelligible]" "Nearly American poop [unintelligible]" "Don't you think that your monkey friend will keep me away forever." "We will meet again." "We will meet again!" "(thundering)" "Richard:" "Thanks for saving my life." "Gorilla:" "Yeah, well I didn't come back to save your life." "Dancing Girl:" "Well then what did you come back here for, huh?" "Gorilla:" "I came back for my hand." "Gimme the hand." "Thanks for carrying it for me." "Richard:" "Sure." "Gorilla:" "So listen, uh, just watch yourself." "Richard:" "Just watch myself?" "That's all I get?" "How about a little help here?" "Dancing Girl:" "Yeah, how about a little help here Mr. Gorilla?" "Gorilla:" "You really don't know who you are, do you?" "Richard:" "No, who am I?" "Gorilla:" "C'mon now, don't play dumb!" "Richard:" "Alright listen Gorilla or Mr. Gorilla whatever the hell your damn name is" "I don't know where I am" "I don't know what's going on" "There's something seriously, seriously wrong with this place" "I just need to find my girlfriend." "Now do you know where she is?" "Gorilla:" "Hand me that bag of sandwiches." "Richard:" "What bag of sandwiches?" "Gorilla:" "The bag of sandwiches by your foot." "(bag crinkling)" "(celestial music)" "(men snarling)" "Gorilla:" "Yeah you really don't know what's going on, do you?" "Well if you want my help then you come with me right now and you'll leave the girl." "Richard:" "Leave the girl?" "Dancing Girl:" "Leave me?" "Gorilla:" "I'm not gonna harm her Richard." "She is much too valuable to them." "Richard:" "She's a savior, we can't leave her now." "Gorilla:" "Leave the girl and come with me." "Trust me!" "We have to make a decision." "We've gotta make a decision now!" "Richard:" "I'm sorry." "So sorry." "(girl screaming)" "(bearded man growling)" "(dancing girl crying)" "Richard:" "Oh my God!" "He just stabbed her in the face." "(dancing girl crying)" "Gorilla:" "I told ya they weren't gonna kill her." "Richard:" "They're not gonna kill her they just stabbed her in the face!" "Gorilla:" "Yeah but it's" "She'll be alright" "It's like a superficial wound" "Like a, like a small cut." "Richard:" "It's not something you just rub butter on and put a band-aid on it." "(whoosh)" "Old Man:" "I understand that you have encountered a rebellious character who has interrupted your training session." "Is that not so Bob?" "Bob:" "Wee" "Old Man:" "Did you kill him?" "Bob:" "No." "No Mr. Zefrose, the gorilla." "He saved him." "Old Man:" "He did, did he?" "Interesting." "Bob: (using french accent)I see zee look in zee gorilla's eyes." "I think that this man, he is a chosen one from the prophecy." "Old Man:" "Well, well, well." "The chosen one has come after all these centuries." "Right on!" "If it's a fight he wants" "A fight he shall have!" "But you Bob have disappointed me on this great day of trial" "My greatest enemy is here among us and you have failed to kill him." "I have been betrayed by my oldest friend and my most loyal subject." "(sinister laugh)" "But you are the best trainer I've ever had" "So, uh, I'm willing to give you one last chance to redeem yourself" "Bob: (laughing) Awe, thank you" "Thank you Zefrose." "Old Man: (sinister laugh)" "Bob:" "No." "Not the game." "Anything but the game." "Old Man:" "Hook him up to the [unintelligible]" "(sinister laughing)" "Bob:" "No." "No!" "Nooooooo!" "(explosion)" "(whip snapping)" "Richard:" "I can't believe you made me do that." "Gorilla:" "Hey, I didn't make you do anything." "You're a big boy." "You can make your own decisions." "Richard:" "Why did we have to leave her behind?" "Gorilla:" "We had to leave her behind man." "They put miniature tracking devices in her nipples." "We can't have them following us wherever we go." "Richard:" "Miniature tracking devices inside of her nipples?" "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." "Gorilla:" "And I have no idea how to get 'em out." "So we had to lose the girl." "Kapeesh?" "Richard:" "Why didn't you just try sucking' them out?" "Gorilla:" "That's disgusting." "I couldn't anyway 'cause I'm lactose intolerant." "Richard:" "I don't like you." "You're a dick." "My girlfriend was kidnapped by some friggin' guy some weirdo that says "titties"" "I looked like the biggest coward 'cause" "I was almost killed by some freaked out French man" "And I left some girl to die 'cause you said you'd help me." "Gorilla:" "Fine." "You think you can do this on your own?" "Then go ahead." "Do this on your own." "But let me tell you something" "I don't like you either." "You're a dick!" "You're a jerk!" "And you're an asshole!" "And you have absolutely no kung fu skills at all." "It's just I have no choice in this matter." "Now do I?" "Richard:" "How do you have no choice?" "Gorilla:" "Because you're the chosen one Richard." "And I've sworn to protect you." "Richard:" "Yeah, okay, I'm the chosen one." "That's a friggin' joke." "What?" "Are we in the matrix?" "Gorilla:" "You really don't get this, do you?" "(bells ringing)" "Yeah, that's right, okay?" "You just continue about another mile down the road and you'll find everything you're looking for." "(leaves rustling)" "(gong)" "Old Man:" "You are a very disobedient dragon." "Dragon:" "The freshman was Marlon Brando.." "Old Man:" "Well does he have a name or should I call him liar?" "Bob:" "Ace Ventura Pet Detective starring Jim Carey." "Old Man:" "You don't have to be good all the time." "Just when it matters." "Bob:" "The 1999 version of Beowulf starring Christopher Lambert." "Old Man:" "Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine 'cause I can't concentrate when you do that." "Bob:" "Big Trouble in Little China starring Kurt Russell" "Old Man:" "What?" "Ah, we're all put to the test but it never comes in the form or at the point we would prefer, does it?" "Bob:" "The Edge, Sir Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin." "Old Man:" "We are the children of children and we live as we are shown." "Bob:" "It's, uh, bull crap." "(zapping)" "(screaming)" "Bob:" "Joe versus the Volcano written by John Patrick Shanley." "Old Man:" "I like big fat men like you" "When they fall, they make more noise." "Bob:" "The good, the bad, and the ugly." "Old Man:" "You've done well." "I thought I was going to have to kill you today." "But you've obviously been studying up on your movie trivia and that makes me very, very happy!" "Bob:" "Yes." "I memorize many of your crappy Yankee films because I must." "Old Man:" "Come up here and let's have some grape juice together." "Grape juice for me" "(liquid pouring) and my friend Bob." "(liquid pouring)" "Bob:" "Ahhh" "Old Man:" "And let's have some titties." "Bob:" "I trained you well" "Old Man:" "Never fail me again Army Bob." "Never." "(zooming sound)" "(dance music)" "Richard:" "You're an idiot." "Gorilla:" "No, you're an idiot!" "Richard:" "You're an idiot." "Gorilla:" "No, you're an idiot." "Richard:" "You sound like my girlfriend." "Gorilla:" "Yeah I bet I sound like your girlfriend." "'Cause you're a moron." "Man I can't wait for this whole thing to be over with moron." "Richard:" "Get what over with?" "Gorilla:" "The whole thing's gotta be done and over with." "Hold it." "(da da da dum)" "Hold it." "Just hold it!" "C'mon." "(three men chanting)" "Stand right here tough guy." "You need to save your limited kung fu skills and strength for Zefrose." "Okay?" "From now on we're sneaking around." "That's the way we roll." "Richard:" "We can take these guys." "I mean you're a fighter, let's go." "Gorilla:" "That's just it, I'm a good fighter." "You're not." "Richard:" "I can take 'em." "Gorilla:" "Alright tough guy, let me see what you got" "Richard:" "I'll show you how" "(punching and slapping)" "Gorilla:" "Oh we can take 'em, huh?" "We?" "You got a lot to learn kid." "C'mon." "(thunder)" "Woman in Black:" "Hello?" "Man on Monitor:" "You went on the property of Zefrose" "A kind and loving guy that fancies himself a man" "You will love him" "You will remove your clothes" "When commanded you will cook and you will dance" "If you are not a good dancer we have many dance instructors so don't worry" "Our dance instructors have worked on the greatest cruise ships around the world" "Goddamn bitches!" "You follow the fucking rules." "And I don't wanna hear any goddamn whining." "And you bake the fucking cakes for Zefrose" "You close your fucking eyes (snorting) go to fucking sleep." "You got it?" "That's what you do." "Otherwise I'm gonna have to come in there and do a few things." "You wouldn't like that, would ya?" "(mysterious music)" "Dragon:" "Are we getting ready for dinner or are we still preparing for breakfast." "(bars clanking shut)" "Show me your friends." "I must inspect them for the master." "Long-Haired Girl:" "My friends?" "Dragon:" "Yes, your friends." "Long-Haired Girl:" "You must be stupid, who do you think I am?" "Dragon:" "I think you're a delicious little girl in a highly fortified castle." "You belong to us." "You are our property." "You belong to Zefrose." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Zefrose?" "Who is Zefrose?" "Dragon:" "He is your master." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Listen up fat ass" "When my father finds out about this the entire New Jersey Police Department is going to be breathing down your neck." "I'm so scared." "Show me little lady." "Show me!" "Show me!" "Show me your titties!" "I hope you're not a screamer." "(sinister laugh)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "(crying) stop, stop, fine." "I'll show you my tits" "Just don't do that anymore." "Dragon:" "Go on then." "(drums playing)" "(boing)" "(boing)" "Dragon:" "Split it now, when the tune sets up" "Dragon:" "Now put your left hand on your right tit and your right hand on your left tit" "And go ta-da!" "(drum music)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Ta Da!" "I'm totally gonna kick your ass when I get out of here." "(whoosh)" "(upbeat music)" "(whoosh)" "(footsteps)" "Gorilla:" "Ahh, we should be safe down here for the night." "Man I haven't been in this place in years." "Used to be one of my old hangouts." "Bartender." "Dude." "Looking good man." "Wanna hook us up with something to eat?" "Ancient noodle." "There it is, boom." "Rock and roll, rock and roll." "There ya go man." "It's not much but that'll do." "Richard:" "Thank you." "Gorilla:" "Hey don't eat so fast huh?" "You're gonna get sick." "Richard:" "Isn't that hot?" "Gorilla:" "What hot?" "The soup?" "Richard:" "No, the costume." "Gorilla:" "What costume?" "(whoosh)" "Old Man: (laughing and howling)" "(sinister laughing)" "(whoosh)" "Richard:" "So what's your story man?" "Gorilla:" "Hey listen bro" "I know we need to spend the night here together or what not but we don't need to bond." "Richard: (laughing) Okay." "Whatever." "Gorilla:" "You need to fight Zefrose." "I need to bring you to him." "Richard:" "Are you an artist or something?" "Gorilla:" "No, my wife was." "Richard:" "Was?" "Why'd she give it up?" "Gorilla:" "She had a spear thrown into her chest." "She's dead." "Richard:" "I'm sorry man." "Gorilla:" "Yeah." "We were hiding from Zefrose." "I used to work for him." "I was his right-hand man." "Until one day I, uh, fell in love, you know?" "I wanted one of his girls." "And she fell in love with me too." "So we decided we were gonna get married." "And we ran off into the woods like two caribou" "And we raised a family" "And we stayed hidden for many years until Zefrose found us and he killed her and he took my son." "Richard:" "You just gave up on your kid?" "Gorilla:" "I didn't give up on my kid" "Zefrose ate him." "Richard:" "Zefrose ate your son?" "Gorilla:" "He ate my son!" "The sick fuck!" "He ate him right up!" "Richard:" "You're the biggest bullshitter I've ever met." "Gorilla:" "No I'm not man." "He ate him." "He's a cannibal." "He eats children." "Richard:" "Yeah, no offense, but uh you don't really look like much of a family man." "Gorilla:" "Oh yeah?" "Well no offense, you don't look like anybody chosen [unintelligible] of grand poobah big shot guy either." "You're too fat." "Richard:" "Maybe I'm not the best one." "Gorilla:" "You are the best chosen one." "You are." "Richard:" "How do you know that?" "Gorilla: 'Cause I'm a gorilla." "I smell that shit." "Richard:" "C'mon." "Gorilla:" "Dude." "It says it right here in the book" "Right here." "No human man has the ability to survive under our world conditions." "One day a man will arrive who is immune to our air" "He will save our realm from this madness." "This man is the least flawed closest to perfect one." "Boom." "In the book." "Everybody knows this shit but you." "It's right there." "(grinder on steel)" "(techno music)" "(door opening)" "Man in Tank:" "Is this cold?" "(slapping)" "Man in Camisole:" "Ughhhhhhh." "(laughter)" "Man in Tank:" "The coast is clear." "Man in Camisole:" "Yes." "Girl: [unintelligible right here." "Man in Camisole:" "Shhhhhhh." "You're asleep." "Man in Tank:" "Good, we can finally do this." "(laughter)" "Both Men:" "Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man" "Bake me a cake as fast" "Man in Tank:" "Oooh, my lower back." "C'mon, come here." "C'mon, lift me up." "Man in Camisole:" "C'mon I'll help you." "Man in Tank:" "Oooooh." "Harder." "One more, one more." "Ooooh." "(cracking)" "Man in Camisole:" "There we go." "Man in Tank:" "Enough." "Jesus." "Man in Camisole:" "No that's a lot more fun than I think it should've been." "Man in Tank:" "I said twice, not three times." "Man in Camisole:" "Alright, well you're fine now, right?" "Man in Tank:" "Like if you take a pee if you shake more than once you're jerking off." "C'mon." "(slapping)" "Man in Tank:" "What?" "Man in Camisole:" "How did that feel?" "Does that feel?" "'Cause you're probably better now, right?" "(slap)" "How about this?" "(slap)" "You feel that?" "Man in Tank:" "That's my face." "How's this feel, huh?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Can you breathe?" "Can you hear?" "Man in Camisole:" "You know what?" "!" "Man in Tank:" "What?" "Man in Camisole:" "Fuck you!" "Man in Tank:" "I love you." "Come here." "We shouldn't fight." "We're good friends." "We're thugs,right?" "Man in Camisole:" "You're right." "Man in Tank:" "We kill people." "We rape them, right?" "Man in Camisole:" "Don't leave me." "Man in Tank:" "Ahhh." "Come here." "(kissing)" "Ahhh, your hair smells so good." "Man in Camisole:" "Thank you." "(techno music)" "Gorilla:" "In order to defeat Zefrose" "To lay him out, kick his ass" "You're gonna have to control that magic arm." "Are you ready to train?" "Richard:" "Well, I'm stuck in a magical land inhabited by insane people my girlfriend is missing and I'm probably gonna die." "So yeah." "I'm ready." "Sure." "Let's do this." "(chanting)" "(jungle music)" "(motivational fight training music)" "Gorilla:" "C'mon man, how can this be?" "You're not even getting better" "You're getting worse." "What?" "Are you a one hit wonder?" "Damn." "This is ridiculous!" "You're regressing." "You, you're gonna die." "We're all gonna die!" "(whooosh)" "(girl crying)" "(knife slicing)" "Old Man:" "We have to speak about my wedding." "Rastafarian:" "You know you're old enough to be my grandfather's great-grandmother but good for you man, as long as you're happy you know, you got this room with all these naked girls and titties poppin' out everywhere" "but I'm excited for ya." "Old Man:" "Yes." "I have found the girl with the prophecies on the night of the full moon." "I will unveil the greatest gift of the Gods." "The girl with the greatest smoothest softest nicest most succulent titties." "The world's most perfect pair." "Oooooh." "Raine Brown." "I love you" "I love Raine Brown!" "I have seen all of her films but you never show your titties." "Now I will see your titties." "I will love your titties." "I will possess them." "They will be mine." "My very own." "[unintelligible] with this, Raine's titties will reign over the entirety of my dictatorial territory" "(laughter)" "Rastafarian:" "You are crazy man." "You are one crazy dumb [unintelligible] motherfucker man." "Here, smoke this and calm yourself down." "Slow your roll a little bit." "Tattooed Man:" "Who the fuck is Raine Brown?" "(fingers snapping)" "Man in Vest:" "Girl, I don't know." "(Gong)" "Indian:" "By coming here you have given us all hope." "But this is not a selfless act." "No." "Someone that you love is trapped here." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Yes, my boyfriend." "Do you know him?" "Indian:" "Patience." "Destiny boobs who speaks too fast." "Yes, your breasts have been sought after by the master of this realm for many, many years." "Long-Haired Girl:" "I know, but why?" "Why is he in love with my boobs?" "They're just boobs." "Indian:" "I'm not an insane old man obsessed with titties" "I do not know why" "But I think that you know why." "Yes, you do." "Long-Haired Girl:" "I'm an actress." "Zefrose was an obsessed fan." "Indian:" "An actress?" "What films have you been in?" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Look, I'd really rather not talk about it, okay?" "Indian:" "Modesty." "A very good trait to have." "I very much myself like dances with" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Can we just find my boyfriend please?" "Indian:" "Patience DBW STF" "You must seek out the one called Soaring Eagle." "(bird squawking)" "He passed through here no more than a few hours ago" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Well what does he look like?" "Indian:" "You have many questions Raine Brown." "Perhaps you should ask yourself that one." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Perhaps you should give me better answers." "Indian:" "Okay, you know what Raine Brown?" "Everyone has their own agenda but you will not be able to leave without a fight." "Long-Haired Girl:" "What am I supposed to do?" "Indian:" "You must show me why Zefrose is chasing you." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Huh?" "Indian:" "You must show me destiny boobs." "I must understand why Zefrose has this obsession if I am going to assist you." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Oh no,no, no, no." "I am not showing you my boobs." "Never!" "Indian:" "Okay I am not asking to see your boobs." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Then what are you asking?" "Indian:" "I am asking how you got here and why you came?" "Long-Haired Girl:" "I just showed up here in a house filled with smoke and I" "I'm here because, because" "Indian:" "Water buffalo got your tongue?" "Hmmm?" "Long-Haired Girl:" "I'm just" "I'm trying to find my boyfriend." "Indian:" "Ahhhhh, now I understand." "Go Raine Brown." "You have no time to lose." "Seek out Soaring Eagle." "(birds squawking)" "Avoid the ninja." "Silent." "Stay off the path." "You will find your way." "Go now!" "Oh and one last thing" "(bag rustling) take this to Soaring Eagle" "Long-Haired Girl:" "What is it?" "Indian:" "Here, no time for questions take that to Soaring Eagle." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Thank you." "Indian: (laughter and coughing)" "(owl hooting)" "For everyone that asketh, receiveth and he that seeketh findeth and to him that knocketh it shall be open." "Matthew, Chapter 7, verse 8." "(whoosh)" "(techno music)" "Richard:" "How much further?" "We've been walking around for hours." "Gorilla:" "Up here." "Look over there." "Richard:" "That's the same techno chick from before" "We're walking around in circles." "Hello?" "What the hell!" "Ninja: (screaming and howling)" "(punching and slapping)" "Richard:" "My shin." "Damn it." "Kick someone in the shin" "(kicking and grunting)" "(coughing)" "(punching, grunting, kicking)" "Shirtless Man:" "He is weak." "Richard:" "Thanks for the lift." "Man in Coat:" "Thank you" "You are Richard Titties?" "Richard:" "Yeah, don't use the last name." "Man in Coat: (Muah)" "Richard:" "It's embarrassing." "Man in Coat:" "Why would you be embarrassed about your real name?" "Richard:" "Because it's Titties." "You know, Richard Titties, as in Dick Titties" "It's not too cool of a name where I come from." "Unless you're a porn star." "Man in Coat:" "I do not know this man named porn star." "Richard:" "No, there's a lot of porn stars." "Man in Coat:" "There's a man named a lot of porn stars?" "Richard:" "No, forget I even said it." "Man in Coat:" "(laughing) I understand" "A man named forget I even said it knows a man named a lot of porn stars who knows this man named porn star." "Richard:" "No, it, no." "Just stop it." "Are you the Croatian?" "Man in Coat:" "Yes." "We've got the gorilla and will boil him alive at your command oh moderately astonishing one." "Richard:" "What?" "Why would you do that?" "Man in Coat:" "Where I come from" "It's a poor country" "We must eat what we can find." "Richard:" "No not that." "Why would you kidnap him?" "Man in Coat:" "The gorilla is pure evil." "He must be stopped." "Richard:" "He's my guy." "He's been helping me through this place." "He taught me kung fu." "Shirtless Man:" "Kung fu (laughing)" "Man in Coat:" "He taught you nothing." "He is no one's guy but his own." "We must boil him alive and eat him with peppers." "Richard:" "That's disgusting." "Man in Coat:" "You prefer carrots?" "Richard:" "We're not boiling anyone, okay?" "Shirtless Man:" "We have awaited your arrival for ages the great trombone." "(shirtless man conversing with man in coat)" "Man in Coat:" "Yes, Victor is right." "We must plan our attack on Zefrose's compound." "Come." "We will do it over hot [unintelligible] and cheap vodka." "Richard:" "I could use a drink." "Man in Coat:" "I hope you like boiled meat." "Richard:" "What is it with you and boiling things?" "Man in Coat:" "It makes meat tender and soft." "Also is what I know." "Richard:" "Right." "Right." "(laughter)" "(drum beat)" "(cymbals)" "Old Man:" "[unintelligible] by swan." "I have my only private goose lake." "[unintelligible] since they have a swan lake" "I've got my private goose lake." "Goosey, goosey, goosey, goosey" "Da, da, da, da, da, da, ahhh" "(whoosh)" "(door rattling)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "C'mon." "Ughhh, ughhh." "(door sliding)" "Balding Man:" "Hey, did you just hear that?" "Dark-Haired Man:" "Hear what?" "Balding Man:" "I thought I heard something coming from over there." "Dark-Haired Man:" "Nah." "No shot." "Look at my sword." "Balding Man:" "Hey, that's a pretty cool sword." "Put it back and then take it out again." "(sword sliding)" "Ah, that's awesome." "Dark-Haired Man:" "And it makes the sound and everything." "Balding Man:" "That's great." "Dark-Haired Man:" "Yep." "Balding Man:" "Do it again." "Dark-Haired Man:" "Here we go." "(sword sliding)" "Balding Man:" "Yeah!" "That's awesome." "(laughter)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "What are you laughing at?" "Man in Sheet:" "I don't know." "I suppose it's been so long since I've actually you know, seen anybody." "I've had no reaction at all to anything." "It's all funny to me really." "It's all funny." "(farting)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "How long have you been in here?" "Man in Sheet:" "I don't know, you know it's probably a while." "It's definitely less than 10 years" "It's absolutely more than five." "It could be coming up on seven." "(farting)" "Because the thing is let me see, I used to mark it on the wall let me see if I can see it" "(farting)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Dude c'mon." "Keep quiet." "They're gonna find us." "Man in Sheet:" "Don't you worry about, about that." "They never come and check on me" "You see it's part of their torture." "You know they're that daring." "(farting)" "There's a bit of sonic in that one." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Ughhh." "Man in Sheet:" "Green beans." "It's the blue lake cut that does it, you see" "And they've turned me into a monster" "(farting) you know, I used to be" "I use to be, you know, one of them" "Sort of like them and everything like that and then I decided I needed more out of life." "(farting)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Ughhh." "Man in Sheet:" "And I wanted more" "What's wrong with you?" "I wanted more out of me life" "So they locked me away and they made me eat beans and chili and so on until I" "I just, I'm gonna explode, so just" "(farting)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Ughhh." "(sinister laugh)" "Man in Sheet:" "Well it's not quite Beethoven, sorry." "(farting)" "Long-Haired Girl: (gagging)" "Man in Sheet:" "Well I apologize for the smell young lady." "Get out of here why don't you?" "It's, it's, it, the stench will kill you." "It's poison." "Now listen ..." "Two doors down and to the right there's a new victim." "They brought him only a few days passed." "You know, he may have enough strength to help you." "He'll give you cover." "Now go!" "No come here." "Just give us a little kiss goodbye." "Sweet, sweet girl." "You sweet firm young girl." "You must go." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Thank you." "Man in Sheet:" "You must leave me." "You must go." "(farting)" "Man in Glasses:" "Is that Beethoven?" "Man in Hat:" "Nah, it's Strauss." "Man in Glasses:" "Yeah, you're right." "It sounds like Beethoven." "But it smells like Mozart." "(farting)" "Man in Hat:" "Do you hear something?" "Man in Glasses:" "No, I didn't hear anything." "Man in Hat:" "Did you hear something?" "Man in Hat:" "Nothing." "We're good man." "(running footsteps)" "(whoosh)" "(whimpering)" "Man in Cage:" "Damn, what'd you scare me like that for?" "Long-Haired Girl:" "I'm sorry." "I heard you whimpering." "I thought you were a puppy dog." "Man in Cage:" "No, I'm not a puppy dog." "I'm a man." "A tough guy." "I wasn't whimpering." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Whatever tough guy." "Sir Farts a Lot next door said that you were in here." "Man in Cage:" "Farts?" "Those are farts?" "I thought that was music." "Ah, that's gross, you know." "Long-Haired Girl:" "I know this bracelet." "That's Raine's!" "You're Raine's boyfriend?" "Man in Cage:" "Raine?" "She's not here is she?" "Tell her to get out." "Zefrose is whacked man." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Yeah, slow down tough guy." "Man in Cage:" "Okay, okay." "BTW I'm Christian." "Hi." "BFD, hi." "Man in Cage:" "Raine and I started hooking' up last year" "She told me about this sultry dude who liked her movies" "So a few months later we started getting these weird phone calls." "And then we'd get care packages in the mail filled with carrots with notes that say" "I can't wait for the wedding." "And all of a sudden BOOM!" "I get kicked out and thrown in this dog's cage" "Look, you've gotta get Raine out of here." "If I gotta die, I'll take it like a man." "But get Raine out." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Yeah." "Hold on." "Whatever." "So this guy, he's just obsessed with her, I mean that's it?" "Man in Cage:" "Obviously." "C'mon." "He kidnaps her boyfriend just to get to her." "That's some shit." "So ah, how do you know Raine?" "Long-Haired Girl:" "She's my soon-to-be sister-in-law" "Man in Cage:" "No shit." "Alright that's tight." "That's tight" "Yeah she told me about, ah, you and her brother Rich Titties, right?" "Such a good name." "A man with a sweet name like that deserves a hot piece of tail like you." "Long-Haired Girl:" "What does Raine see in you?" "Man in Cage:" "I'm the man." "So, ah, you think you'd get me out of here?" "Old Man:" "And lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of seasoning." "Ah, this is to be a special feast for my wedding." "Man in Camisole:" "Sir?" "Old Man:" "Don't interrupt me." "Man in Camisole:" "I don't know what an onion is." "And I've never heard of the seasoning you speak of." "Is that a type of woman?" "Old Man:" "You are the stupidest person in the world." "How is it you do not know what an onion is?" "Man in Camisole:" "All I do is stand around here fight people and bring you cups of grape juice" "I'm sorry." "Old Man:" "I've raised you all from little bashuskas" "(crying)" "I should've taught you what an onion is." "Oh I should've been a better father." "Man in Camisole:" "Sir please, you're destroying yourself" "And it's way too much refined sugar for you." "Old Man: (crying) Oh be quiet." "Leave me alone." "I had one last chance to fulfill the prophecy" "To find the greatest rack on land or on the sea" "I wondered to and 'fro" "On my face a frown" "Till I finally found" "Bodacious Raine Brown." "Her titties were my quest" "Now they are the solution" "I'll marry them boobs and complete my evolution." "When those boobies are mine life will be mighty fine then I'll start the fun pinching them one by one." "And then I'll do it again and again and again and again until she says when to stop." "She'll never say to stop" "And bippity boopity bop" "Bop those boobies, bop those boobies" "Bippity boopity bop bop bop, bop bop, bop bop bippity boopity bop bop bop" "(applause)" "Bob:" "This is a hiney worthy of a French woman." "This other girl, I have her" "She dances and eats bread" "I train her." "She's like she has she has two left boobs." "She's like a fish with no fins." "Ah, Mary, Mary, not contrary." "Ah, you are the reason that French bread is so delicious." "You make a baguette really, really long." "You put zee bubbles in the champagne." "You really ferment my grapes." "No stinky cheese here." "My training of you has been (muah) perfection." "The stripes are a fabulous touch." "Touch on the tush (laughing)." "I will have another word with the master about you." "(food boiling)" "Man in Coat:" "Tomorrow night" "Zefrose is preparing to marry his bride." "It is during this preparation that he will be at his weakest." "Our attack must begin at dawn." "Richard:" "Listen, I know that everybody thinks I'm a stupendously fabulous savior guy" "Okay?" "But I just wanna get my girlfriend the hell outa here." "I'm gonna go in" "I'm gonna get her out" "And I'm gonna be gone." "Man in Coat:" "How much do you know about the prophecy?" "Richard:" "Some human is the only guy that can survive in this realm and he's gonna come save the day." "Man in Coat:" "A long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long" "long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long long, long, long, long, long" "long, long, long, long, long time ago before you were conceived." "Before your great-great grandmother's uncle's nephew's neice's great-aunt's mother's great-grandmother's uncle's father's mother was conceived." "A prophecy was unearthed which said that one day a man with a magical power in his right hand" "Even greater than that of the evil lord would come and save our people from despair." "Richard:" "Great." "Man in Coat:" "Our world would be bright and happy again." "We will have the opportunity to find peace and sanity." "(laughter)" "(ghoulish laugh)" "(grinder on steel)" "Man in Coat:" "How do you feel about leaving an entire race of people to starve, be tortured, and die at the hands of a madman?" "If Zefrose is married he will become 10 times as powerful as he is now" "Our world would crumble." "(bells ringing)" "Red-Haired Woman:" "The bowls, the bowls" "Man in Coat:" "Look" "Red-Haired Woman:" "You'll have the soup." "You must." "You will make a very big sexy and beastly man (sinister laugh)." "Drink the soup." "You become strong and viral and sexy man." "Drink that soup." "Richard:" "Okay." "(licking)" "Red-Haired Woman:" "Drink that soup!" "(purring)" "Man in Coat:" "Come." "Eat." "And think things over." "It's very good." "Mmmm." "Something very good in it." "Richard:" "Hmmm." "What is that?" "Man in Coat:" "Magic." "(screaming)" "Puppet:" "Richard?" "(screaming)" "Puppet:" "Richard, you are the chosen, chosen, chosen one." "Yes you are." "Richard: (laughing)" "(electronic music)" "Puppet:" "Whooa whooa whooa" "(puppets slapping)" "Richard: (chanting)" "(laughter)" "(men snarling, chanting and growling)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Finally." "Man in Cage:" "Oh my back, my legs, my arms my feet and my toes, uhhh my leg is cramping." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Shhh." "Shut up, they'll find us." "Man in Cage:" "You know I've been in there for like five days in the same position." "My leg's cramping up, right?" "I think I got a blood clot." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Shut up." "Bob:" "Ah ha!" "Look at the two of you wandering around like the two American [unintelligible] that you are." "Your host is here and you will show him your respect." "Old Man:" "Well Raine Brown" "It seems you're in a bit of a pickle." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Raine?" "What?" "You think I'm Raine Brown?" "She's a bitch." "I'm way hotter than her." "Bob:" "Dit dit dit dit, you are not asked to speak so keep your lips shut tight [unintelligible] of Ireland" "We know what you are up to" "Trying to break out your precious boyfriend [unintelligible]" "Long-Haired Girl:" "He is not my boyfriend." "Bob:" "Dit dit dit dit." "Old Man:" "As I was saying Raine Brown" "It seems you're in a little bit of a pickle" "Ahhhh" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Pirate jokes?" "Really?" "Old Man:" "Oooh I've been searching for you many, many years." "I love your films." "I'm probably your biggest fan." "Noooo!" "I am your biggest fan." "Oh and tonight we'll be husband and bride" "Oh you'll make a beautiful bride." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Dude, I am not Raine Brown." "Turn around and look at me okay?" "And if you're such a big fan you would know I don't even sound anything like her." "Turn and look at me." "I'm not Raine Brown." "I'm not!" "Old Man:" "Give her the jerky Bob" "That'll calm her down." "Bob:" "Would you like some beef jerky?" "C'mon." "You know you want some nice succulent beef jerky." "Long-Haired Girl:" "What the hell is wrong with you guys?" "Bob:" "I do not understand." "The entire [unintelligible] of the University of West Virginia was like putty in my hands in 15 seconds." "Long-Haired Girl:" "What should I do here?" "He really thinks I'm Raine." "Man in Tank:" "I don't know." "I mean it sucks to be Raine but kinda hot for my girl, you know." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Ughhh." "(slap)" "Old Man:" "It seems that your so-called boyfriend is making a bit of a ruckus." "Get rid of him." "Man in Tank:" "No, I can't die like this man." "Raine." "I love you Raine!" "No, ahhhhh." "Ahhhhhh." "(knife stabbing)" "That wasn't so bad." "I could go for a walk or a canoli." "No!" "Ughhhh!" "No!" "Oooooh!" "God!" "Ah, it tastes like shit." "Ughhh." "I wanted to get a piece of Cynthia's ass." "Do you think I'm gonna make it?" "Oh this is not in the lasagna." "Ahhh, this is shitty gravy." "Ughhhh." "Ah, my teeth hurt too." "Oh my skull." "Fist pump until the end baby." "Fist pump until the end." "Ughhhh!" "Ughhhh!" "I just want to live." "(thud)" "Old Man:" "Woods of Evil" "Barricade" "Brain cell" "Darkest [unintelligible]." "You're finally mine." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Dude." "She does not look anything like me." "Obviously you can see that." "Bob:" "You are a master of disguise." "It is an easy transformation to make." "Old Man:" "Pink eye" "Psycho Holocaust" "Now that's a fine film." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Okay, I get it." "You're obviously a big fan." "Old Man:" "Oh I knew it was you all along." "Long-Haired Girl:" "You, whatever gets you off dude." "Whoop-dee-do, I'm the one and only Raine Brown." "Old Man:" "Enjoy your preparations." "I'll see you at the ceremony." "Long-Haired Girl:" "It's not me." "(door sliding shut)" "(whip)" "(techno music)" "(whip)" "Blonde Girl:" "Oh man." "Richard: (laughing)" "Blonde Girl:" "What happened to you last night?" "Richard:" "What?" "Is this question town?" "Shirtless Man:" "Actually yes." "We are in question town." "(drum beat)" "Come Richard." "We must prepare the attack by the tree." "(drum beat)" "Richard:" "Go ahead." "I'm gonna go talk to the girl" "Blonde Girl:" "Okay just don't be a hero or anything okay?" "(punching and kicking)" "(whip snap)" "Dark-Haired Girl:" "Not as bad as you think Raine." "Long-Haired Girl:" "My name's not Raine." "Dark-Haired Girl:" "Whatever." "You know at first I was just like you." "I was like I wanna go home." "Somebody please get me out of here." "And then I realized just how good we have it" "There's no more office job" "No more daily grind" "No bills" "No taxes" "Just good music, great food, and dancing." "I have always loved dancing." "You'll see it's not as bad as you think." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Yeah." "Sure." "Blonde-Haired Girl:" "Zefrose is a really really nice guy." "He buys us flowers every week." "Well he buys us whatever we want actually" "And he's older so, you know" "It's not like this" "Ughhh!" "Ughhh!" "He's sort of like a dad kind of." "We're not like with him, you know" "We can date all the thugs and soldiers that we want to and some are really, really cute." "Dark-Haired Girl:" "Really cute." "Blonde-Haired Girl:" "Zefrose just has a bad reputation because of the gorilla." "He spreads lies about this place to everyone." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Oh yeah the, the gorilla" "Yeah sure." "Blonde-Haired Girl:" "Furious." "Ooooh when I see that gorilla" "I am gonna kill him!" "I can't even remember my old life." "This is definitely so much better." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Yeah, well what about the part where you have to be like naked all the time?" "Dark-Haired Girl:" "Well, the snow makes our niipples hard." "Makes our boobs look perkier." "(laughing)" "(whoosh)" "Shirtless Man:" "Zefrose hideout is underground." "Now there's a portal here." "But you must be quick or else." "(machine gunshot)" "Richard:" "I want you to let him go." "Man in Coat:" "No we will save him for after we defeat Zefrose." "We will boil him and we will eat him." "Richard:" "You can't just boil and eat everyone you meet." "This isn't Texas." "Shirtless Man:" "[unintelligible] we've been in contact with the Indian." "He knows everything that's happened." "Why would you help him?" "(drum beat)" "Richard:" "I don't know." "He's a dickhead." "I don't like him at all." "You can't just boil every dickhead you meet in the street" "Imagine if you did that in New York there'd be like 10 people left in the entire city." "African-American Man:" "Waaaa Waaaa" "Man in Coat:" "You have said some very wise things today" "Richard Titties" "Although the one you try to save truly is evil but" "(helicopter flying) you are the one who seems the most appropriate one so I have no choice but to head your words" "Okay, you must enter the compound here." "Raine Brown must be with you at this time." "If Zefrose is not shown the error of his ways first hand then Cynthia will be lost forever." "Now I do not doubt that you can find [unintelligible] with your magic fist." "The prophecy has said so." "Richard:" "And there he goes again with the damn prophecy." "Man in Coat:" "Zefrose cannot be beaten with physical confrontation alone." "I do not have the answers." "I'm a poor man from a poor country." "I know how to survive and provide for those who show me respect." "Some call me wise [unintelligible] callous hands and tired bones." "As clever as you can Richard Titties" "When the little people arrive at midday that is when you will enter!" "My men and I will protect you for as long as we can." "(men screaming and chanting)" "Dark-Haired Girl: (screaming)" "Dark-Haired Man:" "Arghhhh!" "(whoosh)" "Old Man:" "Raine." "This is our wedding." "Why do you look so sad?" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Where is Richard?" "Old Man:" "Richard?" "Richard." "Oh don't worry about this Richard person." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Listen pops." "I don't know who the hell you think you are or what you want from me" "But I am not gonna marry you!" "So take me back to my normal little town on my normal little planet or else!" "(laughter)" "Long-Haired Girl:" "Stop it!" "Stop laughing!" "Old Man:" "Stop." "Stop." "So you don't want to marry me?" "Fine." "Let's at least pretend." "C'mon." "It'll be fun." "So as I broke the head of my staff in the anal orifice of thug 76 so shall I break your maiden head." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Yeah, you're a little late to that party." "Old Man:" "I'll take that as a yes." "Long-Haired Girl:" "What?" "Old Man:" "Let the ceremony begin!" "(sinister laughing)" "(whoosh)" "(techno music)" "(whoosh)" "Richard:" "Even if what they said about you is true you still saved my life." "Now go." "Get out of here." "Man in Coat:" "Bring him out." "(celestial music)" "Muscular Man:" "Arghhhh!" "Man in Coat:" "Be strong." "[unintelligible] is over there" "Once you are inside you will be alone" "So be quick about it." "Follow the sound of the music." "That reminds me my mother used to play the most beautiful music when I was" "Richard:" "Enough!" "Just tell me what I'm supposed to do." "Man in Coat:" "Yes." "Yes." "Once you are there that is where you will find the key." "The men and I will protect you from the gang of indivisibles as long as we can." "Richard:" "What?" "Man in Coat:" "Here they come boys." "(crowd cheering)" "(slow dual music)" "(fast techno music)" "(kicking, punching, screaming)" "Richard:" "I don't see anybody." "Blonde Girl:" "No." "No I don't" "No wait." "Look!" "There it is." "Puppet: [unintelligible" "Oh my God, go!" "Richard:" "Whoa dude." "(punching, kicking, screaming)" "(whoosh)" "(techno music)" "Richard:" "You hear that?" "(farting)" "It sounds like Beethoven." "(farting)" "Blonde Girl:" "No, I think that's Brahms." "(farting)" "Richard:" "The Crotian said keep following the music" "So let's go." "(farting)" "Oh, oh God dude." "What is that smell?" "Who are you?" "Man in Sheet:" "Don't you worry about who I am." "You have to get inside the main hall." "Zefrose has the main door sealed" "But with me there is always a way." "(farting)" "Richard: (coughing)" "Man in Sheet:" "There is a key." "Richard: (choking) a key?" "Man in Sheet:" "Yes." "You must reach the gate inside my" "(farting)" "Richard:" "Whoa, whoa, whoa dude." "No way." "No way in hell." "Man in Sheet:" "Oh don't be so disgusting." "I never thought the chosen one would have such a dirty mind." "You must reach deep inside the can of baked beans." "Okay, go on, get to it." "There ya go." "There you go." "(farting)" "Richard: (gasping) oh God." "Man in Sheet:" "What is wrong with you?" "Richard:" "I don't know how to thank you." "Man in Sheet:" "Wait, you could get me a digestive you know." "Some prunes or a fiber shake an ice pop, anything." "(farting)" "Anything really." "Richard: (gasping) Yeah." "Man in Sheet:" "I got kind of a hose." "It just goes up and over." "Richard:" "Yeah, whatever you want." "(farting)" "(screaming, punching, kicking)" "Rastafarian:" "Come here, come one, come all." "To this most magnificent and spectacular event." "Where one man is going to marry one fine looking woman, ya know." "We got her here today for a special occasion and like my man, Mr. Zefrose got some bangin' jerk chicken going in the kitchen and some kickin' vegetable stew" "Let's get this thing going into high gear 'cause I'm as hungry as a beast in the desert and I'm sure you are too." "So if anybody got anything to say to my man or got some beef let them speak now or forever hold your peace boy!" "(door kicking in)" "Richard:" "I got something to say." "Old Man:" "So the crazily fantabulous grandly exuberant somewhat sublime distinguished gentlemanly one has finally found me." "Richard:" "Shut up old man!" "Let her go or else." "Old Man:" "Or else what?" "Attack me with your paltry kung fu skills?" "Ugh, ugh" "Or send me to oblivion with your magically mighty right arm?" "(laughing)" "I have captured your poor terrified tipified girlfriend." "And now I've even captured your sidekick" "Blonde Girl:" "You sick son of a bitch." "All of this is because of you." "Old Man:" "And what pretty little lady do we have here?" "Raine!" "It is you!" "I have been deceived!" "Get help!" "(punching, glass breaking)" "Richard:" "Tips for DJ." "Bob:" "What?" "I'm French." "I'm not German." "Richard:" "Sorry man." "(punching)" "(kung fu fighting)" "African-American Man:" "This is definitely now waaa waaa." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Pay back is a bitch." "(punching)" "Man in Hat:" "You made me bleed (crying)." "(punching)" "Richard:" "Cynthia, inside the gorilla." "Old Man: [unintelligible] Ray my son." "Gorilla:" "That's right bitches." "I'm Zefrose's son." "And I'm gonna take his powers and I'm gonna take over this world." "Thank you for helping me Richard Titties or should I call you Dick Titties" "(sinister laugh)" "Richard:" "You were using me." "Gorilla:" "Hello?" "Get with it buddy." "We were both using each other." "You needed to find Zefrose and I needed to have him killed." "Worked out pretty well I think." "Richard:" "I'm gonna kill you." "Gorilla:" "You bring it to me." "(kicking, punching, screaming)" "(bell ding)" "(punching, kicking)" "(spanking)" "(pow, pow, pow)" "Blonde Girl:" "Richard, the Indian he told me to give you this" "Richard:" "Sandwiches?" "What the hell am I supposed to do with sandwiches?" "Indian:" "They are here to remind us that somewhere there's a group of hungry bums who will eat anything." "Richard:" "Aaaaahhhhhh!" "(cymbals clashing)" "(snarling)" "(thunder)" "(screaming)" "Richard:" "No wait!" "Stop!" "I can't kill you." "You're just a dirty old man." "Old Man:" "I like you chosen one." "You spared my life." "I will grant you any wish you could want." "But please know this is a great privilege for to grant a wish I must sacrifice" "Blonde Girl:" "Shut up!" "Richard:" "That's Raine Brown." "That's Cynthia." "You were fooled the whole time." "Unless you can bring back her boyfriend then I don't want anything." "Old Man:" "I, I, I, ah, I must make amends for all my wrongdoings." "I will grant you your wish Richard." "Ooooh, so be it (crying)" "Ooooh the progeny sweet little wooly caterpillar spawned in a [unintelligible] frenzy" "Bruised of a [unintelligible] womb." "Aghhhh!" "Aghhh!" "Christian:" "I'm alive." "Yeah Christian's back bitches." "Fist pumping' Raine's ass." "Cynthia's lookin' pretty good too." "How you doing Cynthia?" "I'd like to get up in that ass too." "Old Man: (crying)" "Richard:" "Thank you Zefrose." "Blonde Girl:" "Thank you Richard." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Richard?" "What are you doing?" "Richard:" "Huh?" "There's something I have to tell you." "Raine and I used to be in love." "Long-Haired Girl:" "You and Raine?" "What?" "Blonde Girl:" "Richard isn't my real brother." "He's my step-brother." "And we've been in love ever since high school." "And never did anything about it." "And then that one Christmas sophomore year when we finally kissed." "It was meant to be." "But then our parents said that they were getting married" "And then we really couldn't do anything about it so and I guess that's why you probably never liked any of my boyfriends." "Richard:" "And I guess that's probably why you could never find a good guy or stay with anybody long enough because you were secretly hoping we'd get back together." "Old Man:" "And I guess that's why destiny commanded me to bring you all here together in a whirlwind of mayhem." "So that the bad guy could finally do something good in his life and that all long lost loves could be re-entwined." "Mark:" "And I guess that's why I carry packages of bologna in my gym bag." "African-American Man:" "I guess that's why I like that he carries packages of bologna in his gym bag" "Mark:" "It's bo-log-na." "Dark-Haired Girl:" "And I guess that's why I'm attracted to girls." "Long-Haired Girl:" "Oh you are?" "Ahhhh!" "(moaning)" "Man in Coat:" "And I guess that's why I like to boil meat" "Invisible Men:" "And I guess that's why we're invisible." "Long-Haired Girl:" "I guess that's why I like MMA fighters." "Bob:" "And I guess that be why I'm wise." "But I think I'm a Jamaican man." "Man in Sheet:" "I guess that's why I fart so much." "(farting)" "Woman:" "I guess that's why I'm insane." "Spanish Woman:" "[unintelligible] nice chi-chi" "Woman Behind Bars:" "I don't speak Spanish." "Indian:" "And I guess that's why I like romance novels" "Shirtless Man:" "And I guess this is why" "I get the sexy bitch with the boobies." "Little Girl:" "I guess that's why I like raviolis." "Long-Haired Girl:" "So you came all this way to save me just to break up with me?" "Ughhh!" "What a day I'm having!" "Old Man:" "Before this gets any further drawn out and awkward let's stop talking and have a party!" "After all we did decorate for a wedding." "Start the music!" "(soft music)" "(boing)" "(kids shouting yeah)" "(whip snapping)" "(rapping lyrics) You better watch out when I'm coming through" "I'm like Richard Titties and I know kung fu." "A karate chop, body drop, watch 'em hit the ground" "Alternate dimensions [unintelligible]" "I gotta pour some grape juice in my cup and sit down on my weiner when it stands up" "I don't give a fuck you're a puck of a kannuck [unintelligible] [unintelligible]" "It's come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties" "And come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties." "Come doing titties [unintelligible] shit goddamn girl let me see you put up your man clam." "Now you lookin' at your friend sayin' what do we do?" "Girl show your titties and we'll do kung fu." "I'm the type of dude that you don't wanna be fightin'" "Not Jewish but I'll strike you like black lightning" "Got a gang of gorillas eat the bugs off my back and I'm faster than a chicken who was running track" "Get yourself an umbrella 'cause it's comin' down" "I got diarrhea, I'll make it rain brown" "Hit ya so hard I'll leave you puking" "Round house, upper cut and a [unintelligible]" "It's come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties" "And come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties" "And come going titties baby shit, goddamn girl let me see you put up your man clam" "Now you're lookin' at your friend sayin' what do we do?" "Girl show your titties and we'll do kung fu." "Hey ya motherfucker I can ride a kick" "Jump up and smack you in the mouth with my dick" "I do my own stunts like Jackie Chan" "Watch out Chester or you'll get hit hard man." "Teen hand jobs here and we ain't [unintelligible]" "Got a nice set of biscuits but I like muffins" "And I'm seeing more titties than Hasselhoff" "Girl you put the wax on and I'll wax off." "And it's come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties" "And come doing titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties and titties." "And come doing titties baby shit, goddamn" "Girl let me see you put up your man clam." "Now you're lookin' at your friend sayin' what do we do?" "Girl show your titties and we'll do kung fu." "Go to sleep." "Go to sleep" "Go to sleep" "Zefrose property." "Go to sleep." "Go to sleep" "And have horrible dreams" "About me coming into your room" "And doing some interesting things" "Now go to sleep" "Go to sleep" "Go to sleep now you bitches." "(whip snap)"