"Researchers are ** working to make a map of the human brain." "It may be the most complex map ever created..." " Good morning." " Good morning." "Billions of neurons making trillions of connections." "Hey." "At first glance, they seem completely random." "Careful." "Hot." "Hmm." "But there is nothing random about them." "All these connections have to happen... in a specific pattern." "It is designed for a function." "These connections determine everything about us... what we love... what we hate... what we say... what we do..." "Every action we take." "Open your hand, okay, Mickey?" "Like this?" "Exactly." "Like that." "Yeah, baby!" "Okay, now close it." "Oh, yeah!" "As he thinks about movements, we see brain activity here and here." "These areas lighting up." "Now the brain-computer interface is the key to new possibilities, whether it be robotic prosthetics..." "For quadriplegics like Mickey..." "Or letting me kick ass at "tetris" again." "Hey, check this out, you guys." "Hang loose!" "Hey, where's Dr. Torres?" "How's she missing this?" "This is the best that we've ever done." "Shane, text her again, will you?" " Is something wrong?" " There's not a lot of temporal lobe activity." "Nothing lights up here." " Is it a bad connection in the sensor?" " I hope so." "If not, it's a bad connection in his brain." "Schedule Mickey for an M.R.I." "Oh, um..." "I brought this from home accidentally." "Can you just put it in with my diaper bag and stuff?" "And, uh, I'll try and find Torres." "What's up, second year?" " This is a step up, right?" " Are these assigned?" "Yes." "There's a lab coat with your name." "What are you so happy about?" "Can't tell you." "You wish I could, but I can't." "So please don't ask." " Why are there no doors on these?" " I know, right?" "Like, "hello, tampons." "Meet everyone."" "You guys, there's a coat here for Heather Brooks." " Oh, my god." " Seriously?" "Okay, is he being weird?" "Did he fail the exam?" "He left right after." "He didn't come celebrate." "Also, he kissed me." "Oh, yeah, he kissed her." "It could be that." "I totally get it." "I've got a secret thing going, too." "There's no coffee here." "This is bad." "I can't tell you who kissed me, though." "Hey." "Hey!" "I woke up at your place..." " Alone, again." " Yeah, I was out late." "This has been three nights now." "Yeah, I've been, uh, going out." "That-that's all." "I passed my intern exam." "I never heard from you." "Is there something going on?" "Alex, talk to me." "Alex?" "Ugh." "I thought she would never leave." " Hmm?" " So you got my texts?" "I passed my intern exam." "Yeah, yeah, I did." "I-I replied." "I-I wrote "Congratulations."" "I hoped I would see you." "I had such an amazing time the other night." "Yeah, it was fun." "I feel like I'm ready to..." "take it further..." "Um, you know, um, it's... it's not a good idea," " um..." " At work?" "I totally get it." " See you tonight?" " Mm-hmm." "You paged me?" " Dr. Edwards, Ben bosco, his wife Joyce." " Hi." "He's got an ankle fracture." "That moving walkway thing at the airport..." "We were running to catch our connection to Alaska..." "Ahh, to see the northern lights." "Then he steps off that thing, and I heard it." "I heard it just go" " crack." " Like the whole world slammed on the brakes," " and I kept going." " And here we are." "He's gonna need a full workup and an ortho consult." "also get a chest X-ray, 'cause it might be surgical." " Keep me posted." " Okay." "I will get those X-rays." " Oh!" "Excuse me." "Sorry." " Oh!" "Sorry." " You're sure it's not weird?" " I called you." "Robbins doesn't know that we're dating, does she?" "'Cause I just don't want to trade on our... whatever this is to, uh, get to observe a surgery." "No." "Good." "I just like to keep it professional, you know?" " At work." " Yeah, of course." "Um, hey, uh... are we not telling people?" "'Cause I told a couple people." "Yeah, you could." "Uh, you should." "I would." "Good." "Good." "Well, we are at work." "So..." "Thanks for the call." "Yeah." " Oh." "Excuse me." " Hi." "Hello." "Bring your girlfriend to work day?" "Robbins has a teratoma in a 3-month, and, uh, Emma..." "Doctor, uh, Marling... is gonna observe." "That's sweet." "This isn't gonna be weird, is it?" "For me?" "Please." "Will it be weird for her?" "I mean is she... is she the type to get freaked out by the ex?" "Damn it." "Mer..." "What's going on?" "Oh, nothing." "I'm..." "I'm just, uh, trying to decide on a research project." "Decide between what?" "Nothing." "I got it." "This pain isn't going away." "It's a constant pain in my left shoulder." "And what do you think is causing that?" "Were you injured in a fall?" "You tell me." "You're my doctor." "Right." "Sorry." "It's just that you're also my teacher." "Excuse me, Dr. Bailey... do you remember reading somewhere about unfinished research on iliac-portal vein grafts?" " Why?" " Tonight is the deadline to submit for the N.I.H. Research Grant I want." "And I'm having trouble deciding" " between ischemia..." " Ah, you're peeing on a tree." "Yeah, first year attending scared of screwing up." "So, uh, she takes the easy cases." "She keeps a low profile." "But second year attending has got to step it up..." "Take the flashy cases, publish the research, mark her territory." "Pee on some trees." "Portal veins... any bells?" "It was your mother's." ""Portal vein interposition with iliac vein graft."" "Ellis was working on it when she got sick." " It's in one of the journals you gave me." " Oh." "Crap." "I have a mug like that." "If you don't come back with a solid diagnosis for my shoulder pain," "I'm gonna kick you off my case." "As my teacher or my patient?" "Get out." "I need a differential diagnosis for Webber's shoulder pain." "Arthritis, bursitis..." " Hmm." "Any of the old people "-itises."" "Still waiting on my broken ankle's chest scans." "You got coffee." "So Alex isn't talking to me." "I think it's 'cause I pushed him to talk to his deadbeat dad." " Alex has a dad?" " Mm." " Have you talked to Shane?" " I'm still hoping it'll go away." "Shane kissed me." "I didn't kiss him." " It's his problem." " Mm." "Oh..." "He has a huge tumor in his heart." "No... he has a broken ankle." " Thank you." " Okay, yeah." " You okay?" " Yeah, why?" "Yeah, we tested the new sensors with Mickey Wenschler this morning." " Oh." " And-and it was a huge success." " Mm." " But he kept asking why you weren't there." "Uh, well, didn't you..." "didn't you get my text?" "Your text said, "won't be there."" "Okay, well, uh, here's the thing... moving back into my place made me feel like" "I really need to move back into my place." "You know, concentrate on what makes me, me." "I do regenerative cartilage." " It's what my T.E.D. talk was about..." " What are you saying?" "I'm not going forward with the project." "You should totally run with it, though." "No, this is your project." "Mickey's your patient." "I can't do this." "I don't have time." "Meredith and I are in over our heads with kids," " and she needs time, too." " So maybe we just drop it." " No harm done, right?" " Oh, and tell that to Mickey Wenschler." "Mickey will be all right." "Edwards, I just saw your broken ankle." "No surgery, just splint it." " He won't be all right." "It's gonna kill him." " I know, right?" "I can't do this." " Did you do this?" " Uh, I..." " I need to find Kepner." " No, who broke this?" "Yeah, sorry." "I dropped it." "Dr. Yang, uh, would you look at this?" " Holy... wow!" " I mean, it's bad, right?" " Look, this wasn't yours to use..." " Shane, not now!" "This is a rat's nest of an A.V.M. in the left ventricle." "It's probably pushing in on the valve." "If it's not treated, he'll be dead in months." "He came in for a broken ankle." "And now I have to tell them he's dying." "Okay, let me look at the blood work, and we'll tell them together." "God, thank you so much." "This place is a maze." " That's Dr. Robbins?" " Yeah." "And you are?" " Dr. Robbins, Emma Marling." " Oh, right." " Right, right, you're observing." " And I'm scrubbing in..." " I hope." " Oh." "Murphy, I'm sorry." "With Dr. Marling," "I think the table's full." "Um, next time?" "Okay, so we just gave little Erin's parents the pre-game, and we're about to take her up." "Murphy, will you show her where to get some scrubs?" "Visiting surgeon?" "Yeah, maternal/fetal." "She's researching minimally invasive in-utero teratomas." "And she's hot." "I'm just saying it's good that I'll be there to chaperone." "What, we're not joking about this yet?" "See you in there." "Here." "This is my mother's journal." "Where did you get this?" "Webber..." "made me go to his house." "And I need to figure out why his shoulder hurts." " Can I go?" " Yeah." " What was that about?" " Research funding." "I'm trying to decide between an ischemia study and this portal vein thing that my mother was working on." "Ooh!" "Do that." "It's half-baked." "A-and I don't like trading on my mother's name." "No, it's your story." "Yeah." ""Brilliant young surgeon finishes work"" ""of dead brilliant mother surgeon"..." "It writes itself." "Invest in your brand." " You make me sound like a soft drink." " That's what I'm doing." "Yeah, I'm reinvesting in myself." " That's the perfect reason..." " Right?" "Not to." "Shane, here you go." "Some good stuff in there." " Enjoy." " Ugh." "You don't get it." " These are Mickey's M.R.I.s?" " Mm-hmm." "Dr. Shepherd..." "I wondered if you'd mind if I switch services after today." " I asked for you specifically." " I know." "Look, what happened last year between you and Brooks," "I think I may have been unfair, and I was hoping for a chance to make it right." "So... now that Brooks is gone..." " I get to take her place?" " Oh, hell." "Well, that's why the sensors weren't lighting." "He has a glioma." "Can you treat it?" "I could try hitting it with some glue." " Glue?" " Embolization glue." "We use it for A.V.M.s." "We pump superglue into the vessels, the glue hardens, cuts off blood to the tumor." "I could try it." "Mm..." "No." "It goes all the way to the brain stem." " It's too dangerous." " And going in surgically?" "It's the same thing." "I'm afraid of doing more harm than good." "It's a very deadly mass." "It's a large veinous malformation... and without intervention immediately," "I'm afraid the prognosis is very bad." "Yeah, that's the thing." "Um, I have been dying of that for years." "You knew about this and you didn't mention it?" " I'm sorry." " In your medical history, there's..." "I was so hung up on missing our plane..." "It's an inoperable A.V.M." "He was diagnosed with it, what, a y..." " Year and a half..." " Year before last, yeah." "January." "And terminal." "So... what are you gonna do?" "So we just quit our jobs, cashed out all our accounts," " and just started traveling." " Yeah, just doing stuff..." "Trips, activities, basically cramming as much living as we could into the time we have left." "Okay, did your doctor... did he or-or... or she, uh, try treating it with radiation?" " Yeah, tried that." " Intravenous coiling?" "Mm-hmm." "Yeah, no dice." "And the sclerosing agents..." "Uh, what about a transplant?" "Or what about..." "There are a lot of..." "Sweetie..." "I know it's hard." "It was hard for us, too." "But you have to let it go." "Because there is nothing I can do about it." "I'm sorry." "The best course is to leave it alone and hope for the best." "We'll keep doing the study, right?" " Come on." " Why?" "Because it is too dangerous." "Also the tumor could give us abnormal results." "What if you take the tumor out?" " I could keep doing the testing." " You could, but..." "Then take it out, man!" " We're so close, right?" " Mm-hmm." "This morning, I was miles beyond anything" " what I did last time..." " It's too dangerous." "We're gonna take you up there, we're gonna remove your sensors," " and then we're gonna close your craniotomy..." " What if I don't consent?" "What?" "What if I say you can't take your sensors back unless you take my tumor, too?" "Mickey, I need to take them out." "Sorry, bud." "Access denied." "You're not going in my head unless you're leaving with that tumor." "Lucky you use electro-thermal sealers." "They're too big to get in there when we do these in-utero." "Bear with me, Emma." "Alex, I need your advice." "What's your strategy when you have a one-night-stand..." "Not even... you just make out with someone, and then they get way too attached?" "You know who's like that?" "Leah Murphy." "Really?" "Yeah, I slept with her one, maybe two times." "She stuck to me like glue." "That girl goes from zero to "I love you"" "in seven seconds." "I've never, ever felt this way." "And if I tell you guys who it is, it would cause so many problems for me and for this person, and... god, for the hospital, probably." "So please don't ask." "Could it be heart-related?" " He had ventricular failure." " What?" "Webber's shoulder hurts." "Hey, did you talk to Alex?" "Yeah, I tried." "He just keeps running away." "He's dumping you." "It's what he did with me." "He'll pretend you're not there until you're not there." "And when you're not there, he'll have sex with someone else." " Why are you gluing my mug?" " It's not yours." "It's Shepherd's." "The mug was my responsibility." " How'd you break it?" " She got scared by a tumor." "It's an A.V.M., and it's a scary one." "Totally inoperable." "Guy probably has months to live, and he and is his poor wife are just trying to make the most of their time together." "Hey, what about glue?" " What about glue?" " I'm sorry." "For your A.V.M...." "This A.V.M. Look, Dr. Shepherd was talking about the embolization glue they use in neuro A.V.M.s, and I wondered... has this approach ever been used in the heart?" "Not that I'm aware of." "So... no." "They glue neuro A.V.M.s because they're microscopic." "These vessels are huge." " You saying it won't work?" " I'm saying..." "I'd need a crapload of glue." "I'm saying the glue won't work, the radiation won't work, and I don't want to go in surgically." "I risk killing him." "So he's holding your sensors hostage in his skull?" "This is not funny, Callie." "You have to talk to him." "It's Mickey." "Just give him a few hours." "He'll come around." "You don't want to talk to him because you don't want to look him in the eye and tell him you're bailing on this." "And you certainly don't want to tell him why you're bailing." "Why is that?" "You started this project for Arizona." "When you lost interest in her, you lost interest in this." "You're letting your personal problems get in the way of months of research." "Well, you're doing the same thing." "You said you were done with the study to spend time with your kids." " That's completely different." " Oh, why is it different, Derek?" "'Cause your family's perfect, and mine's a disaster?" "Because you're leaving the study to support your wife, and I'm doing it to forget mine?" " I know what you're going through." " You don't know anything about it." "You guys have figured it out... how to make the pieces fit." "And I thought we did, too, but..." "I'm figuring this out for myself now, so... just bear with me, okay?" "I will talk to Mickey." "And I'm gonna ask you a series of questions." ""Are you a tennis player?"" "Oh, good lord." ""Do you frequently carry heavy loads,"" ""groceries, etcetera, with your injured arm?"" "I've been in this bed a month." "I'm just trying to be thorough." "Um..." ""Have you recently engaged in any strenuous sexual..."" "I am skipping that one..." "Uh, too, uh... um..." "Uh..." "I'm not getting a very good reading on, uh, sir, are you... oh-oh..." "It is not my tennis game, and it's not my heart." "Look deeper." "Now get out, and take that thing with you." "Um..." "Oh, come on." "I don't have time for this." ""Ischemia reperfusion injury in thoracic trauma"?" "What happened to portal veins?" "I know ischemia is boring," "But my mother's portal vein research is outdated." "I mean, we've already grafted them from stem cells." "And I don't want to spend my life" " being compared to my mother." " Hey." "She was a smart woman." "It might be worse to never be compared to her." "I can't find a way to take the research further." "And I can't print this damn thing!" "You all right?" "We've bio-engineered blood vessels from a 3-D printer." "Yeah." "But I don't think anyone has ever printed a portal vein." "It's never been done before." "The glue is designed for use in your brain, but I would like to try it in your heart." "It-it's a bold approach." "Wai... are you... are you saying that..." "I am optimistic that it could save your life." "That's awful." "I'm sorry?" "After we got Ben's diagnosis, well, I mean, you-you know, we-we-we sold everything." "We-we cashed out all our accounts." "We maxed out our credit cards and more credit cards." "We went to Europe." "We went to India." "We went to Morocco." "We rented a whole island." "We-we went up in that plane where you get to be weightless." "That's 5 grand a pop." "We went up 11 times..." "and then bought a boat." "And then we blew it up, 'cause we wanted to watch it burn." "We owe creditors hundreds of thousands of dollars." " How were you planning to pay for..." " Life insurance." " Ben's a very good planner." " I thought I was." "I didn't plan for surviving." " But still, hon..." " Oh." "We... we gotta try it, right?" "Wait." "What are the risks?" "Well, as I said, this has never been done before on a beating heart." "Could I die?" "Could I die on the table?" "It's possible." "Then there's hope." "I want a C-arm set up in the O.R." " I may have to do a crash sternotomy." " Really?" "Well, I don't know what's gonna happen." "This has never been done before." "How much A.V.M. glue do you think we'll need?" "Again, never been done before." "Err on the side of all of it." " Where is it?" " Where is what?" " My mother's journal." " Why would I know?" "The black book... the little black book I gave you today..." " I need it back, Shane." " I think I left it with Edwards." " Edwards!" " What?" "E.R. needs this bed." "Can you help me?" "Hey, and what is going on with Mr. Bosco?" "Why has a broken ankle been moved to pre-op" " for a cardiac procedure?" " What?" "You can't change the course of treatment like that without..." "I didn't." "The cardio consult declared it inoperable." "So then why is he in pre-op?" "Who..." " who did the consult?" " Dr. Yang!" " What?" " Sorry." "We were in here before, and I think I left my... phone." "Well, what do we have here?" "Oh, a ventricular A.V.M." "I'm doing liquid embolization with glue." "Wait, glue for brain aneurysms?" "Has that been tried on a heart before?" "Thank you." "As a matter of fact, no." "Are you sure it'll work?" "That is also a no." "I-I am impressed with your enormous balls." "I wish I could stick around and watch this." "I'm Cristina... by the way." "Cristina Yang." "Just so you know." "Yeah, I know." "We've met a couple of times, actually." "Emma Marling." "I know." "I'm-I'm saying I'm Owen's, um... ex-wife." "Ah!" "Yes." "Right." "Well, this looks amazing." "And I can't wait to hear how it went." "Good night." " You weren't gonna say good night?" " Oh, hey." "I'm off." "I'll..." "I'll see you later." "Will you?" "Probably not." " I'll probably be late." " Are you seeing someone else?" "Is that what's happening?" " 'Cause I just need to know." " Oh, it's not that." "Then what is it?" "It's none of your business." "It is between me and Shepherd," " and I told him everything he needs to know." " Mickey..." "Mickey, look at me." "If I do, the aliens will win." "This operation could kill you." "I never told you how I became a quad, did I?" "You were in a car accident." "I caused a car accident... because I was drunk." "I got drunk, and I drove, and I hit another car, and I killed two teenage girls..." "Lindsay and Cheryl." "So there I am, a pile of garbage." "Can't move, can't walk, can't do anything except think about what I did... to those families." "I've got people tending to me." "People feed me and shave me and clean me, and I don't deserve their time." "I deserve... to have died in that car." "And I wish I did every day... for nine years." "And when you asked me... to do this..." "When I had a chance to do something affecting someone in a good way... for the first time," "I thought I was worth having around." "If I die, give my brain to science, and I still help." "Let me help." "Please." "And how can I help you?" "Oh, hey." "Same as last night?" "Yeah, thanks." "You must really like these guys, huh?" "I still think it's a bad idea." "I-I know, but it's the right idea." "Mickey has nothing to lose and a lot to gain." "Okay, I'll schedule him for tomorrow morning." " Okay." " Oh, no, wait." "I can't do tomorrow morning." "Bailey has a well-baby exam," "I've got back-to-back discotomies, and Zola and I were gonna check out a dance class." "It's gonna have to be tonight." "Zola, you and your brother are gonna have to go back to day care for a little while longer, okay, sweetie?" "No, no, no." "I'll take 'em back up." "I got it." " Here." "Come on." "This way, babes." " Page Dr. Ross." "Okay." "More glue." "We're getting to the end of our supply." "Then go get more." "I think I need to fill this whole thing." "Okay... the catheter is stuck to the vein." "God, this stuff is intense." "Should you be tugging that hard?" "Well, you want me to leave it in there?" "Okay." "Okay, we're good." "How did you come up with this?" "I don't know." "I just... connected the dots." "You are full of surprises, sharky." "Innovative instincts and killer instincts... what other secrets are hiding in there?" "What do you think you'll find?" "Well, if it's not arthritis or bursitis or rotator cuff, and your heart's fine, then it can't hurt." "Unless it's referred pain, which could be nerve impingement or diaphragmatic irritation, so..." "You don't need an X-ray." "Bravo." "You need an ultrasound." "Well, I hope you're not thinking I'm pregnant!" " Page Dr. Edwards here stat." " Right away." "I need an ultrasound." "Are you pregnant?" "Does Alex know?" "No, I-I need an ultrasound machine." " Have you seen Edwards?" " Does Alex think I'm pregnant?" "I have a mug like that." "Where the hell have you been?" "Uh, I thought you were leaving, and Dr. Yang and I found a left ventricle A.V.M." "Yeah, well, you're here now." "Scrub in." "I'd rather not." "Shane, you gotta get past this." "You're not a consolation prize." "You deserve to be here." "Brooks had a gift that needed to be..." "I don't wanna work with you." "I'm not interested." "Can I be more clear?" "I suppose not." "Go." "To a certain extent, time will tell." "What we know for sure is we've done no damage to your heart, and at this preliminary stage, it appears the A.V.M. won't continue to grow." "So you're saying..." "I'll live?" " Yes." " Mm-hmm." "Dear god." " Ben?" "Honey?" " I know." "We'll be all right." "I know it's a lot of money." "It's been a crazy year, but the world is a lot more fun with you in it." "As long as we have each other, everything will be fine." " Joyce, we're screwed." " I know." "We're not just bankrupt." "We're criminals." "I think we might go to jail." "Oh, we're so incredibly screwed." "Like a $2 whore." "Yang, that's my broken ankle." "How about a little heads-up next time you wanna steal one of my patients?" "What happened to them?" "I saved his life." "So I get that you saved him, but he was my patient, and you should've told me" " before you d..." " I came up with the fix." "You didn't." "If you're still pissed about what happened the other night," "I..." "I'm with Jackson." "It was inappropriate, and it's not gonna happen again." "What are you talking about?" "When you kissed me, Shane." "Oh." "That." "We were excited." "It happened." "I'm sorry it meant more to you..." " It didn't." " You're still talking about it." "What's happened to you?" "What are you guys whispering about?" " Nothing." " God, you guys, fine." "It's Arizona Robbins." "But please don't say anything, okay?" " Because she really doesn't need..." " Robbins?" "So... you're gay now?" "Shane, grow up." "It's a sliding scale." "I slid over her way." "If you really have to label everything, then label me "in love."" "Murphy!" "Dr. Mahoney to triage." "Dr. Mahoney to triage." " I'm sorry." "They pretty much figured it out." " No." "I'm sorry, because I'm about to be very frank." "The other night was a bad call on my part." "I was lonely, and it was..." "lovely." "But it was... it was one night," "And that's all that it will ever be, so if you had different expectations, please adjust them." "Uh, of course." "There's no need to apologize." "It's my fault." "Uh..." "I don't open up to people much, and when I try to open up a little bit," "I can get carried away." "It's happened before." "And you..." "I've just always admired you as... a surgeon, and-and a person, and the thought that you thought about me..." "I misunderstood." "Um, I went overboard, and I'm sorry." "It won't happen again." "Leah..." "Thank you for understanding." "Gin, rocks." "You gonna charge me again?" "Most places comp the bands, you know?" "I got this one." "Appreciate that." "Jimmy Evans." "Hey." "I know you." "I've, uh, been here the last couple of nights." "No." "Something else." "Oh, my god." "You're a doctor... at the hospital." "Guilty." "What brings you back here every night?" "Oh, uh, you." "I mean, I like your set." "Uh, I like the Albert Collins stuff." "Ah." "You got a good ear, then." "You play?" "My dad taught me a little when I was a kid, but, uh, he didn't stick with it." "Aw, you should have stuck with it." "Look where it could've taken you." "I mean, instead of saving people's lives, you could be playing 70-year-old songs to four people in a giant ashtray." "What kind of doctor are you?" "Oh." "Pediatric surgeon." "Uh, babies, kids." "I met a pediatric surgeon once." "Scariest night of my life." "My son's not even 2 years old." "I'm feeding him strawberries, and he starts choking." "Turned blue." "We take him in, they get him breathing again." "Pediatric surgeon runs the tube down his throat, and got the thing out." "Saved my boy's life." "Saved my life, too." "If I'd lost my little boy that night," "I never would've made it." "I never would've survived." "I'm glad it worked out for you." "Yeah." "Thank god for you guys, man." "Seriously." "So where is he?" "Now, I mean." "Where's your family?" "That's a complicated answer." "This place has really cleared out." "I guess I was the big draw." "Yeah, well..." "I probably should head out myself." "I was gonna say, you play a little?" "I got an extra guitar." "We can get up and make some noise." "No." "No, I haven't played since I was a kid." "Well, there's no one here to hear you suck." "Come on." "It'll be fun." "I don't know any songs." "What about the songs your daddy taught you?" "I might know one of those." "Am I hearing changes in his rhythm?" "Turn up the heart monitor, please." "Some suction." "More mannitol." "Rhythm's getting very erratic, and-and B.P.'s rising." "Quiet." "Quiet." "Damn it." "All right." "Reverse the paralytics." "All right, let me check his gag reflexes." "Oh, no, Mickey." "Come on." "No." "Dr. Shepherd, there's no brain activity." "That is a..." "Pancreatic pseudocyst!" "Bam!" "Ha!" "Did you just say "bam"?" "It had to be referred pain, right?" "But referred pain to the shoulder means irritation of the diaphragm, which did not make sense, but..." "You have pancreatic fluid leakage, so I was thinking, well, maybe something was aggravating the diaphragm, which referred to the shoulder, and bam!" "Pancreatic pseudocyst." "Maybe you should wipe that smile off your face before you tell the patient." "Oh, god." "I am so sorry." "I-I forgot that this is bad news." "And... you're laughing." "For the first time today, I feel like I'm in good hands." "Nice work, Wilson." "You traced it back to the source." "Hey!" "I'm doing my mother's research, but not for the reasons you said I should." " Not now, Grey." " She had a good idea!" "I'm not riding her coattails." "I am sharing her passion." "Maybe this is what my mother gave me." "Your daddy taught you pretty good." "* go ahead * * pretty baby * * go ahead, knock yourself out *" "* I still love you, baby * * 'cause you don't know what it's all about *" "* bright lights * * big city *" "* gone to my baby's head * * bright lights * * big city *" "Hey." "You okay?" "You know... that's a good tune." "Brings back a lot." "You know, if you're not careful, all your old mistakes can just roll up on you." "I taught my kid to play guitar, too." "It's like you said." "I wish I'd had stuck with it." "Well, your kid probably does, too." "Yeah, but there's no going back, is there?" "Can I show you a picture of him?" "My boy?" "What, you have one?" "That's Nicky." "He's 5 there." "He'd be about 12 now." "And, uh, that's his mom, Naomi." "She's japanese." "Who's..." "Where are they?" "South Florida." "I haven't been back there in years." "God, you just keep doing this." "What do you mean?" "Do this kid a favor." "Don't ever go back." "Let him grow up without knowing you any more that he already has." "What the hell, man?" "He's better off." "You know that." "What's your problem?" "We were having fun here." "I'm trying to protect your kid." "You're no good to him." "Hey, you don't know me, and you don't talk about my kid." "Hey!" "No!" "Out!" "You, out, now!" "This way, you can do the most good for the most people." "You think so?" "Oh, yeah." "He would be grateful." "You did exactly what he wanted." "I'm not dropping the project." "You were right." "I was doing it for her." "And now I will do it for a million people" "I'll never even meet." "And for Mickey." "I could really use your help." "We were just starting to learn the extent of the brain's connections..." "How far they reach, how deep they go." "I think I've ceased to exist." "I made history today, literally." "Operated on the inoperable, saved a man from certain death, and then ruined his life." "Oh, also Owen seems very happy with that Marling person to whom he has never even mentioned me." "It's as if the last few years never happened." "Also, the automatic paper towel thingy won't recognize me as human." "I'm just standing there, waving my hands like an idiot." "I'm sorry." "What?" "What are you doing?" "Application for research funding." " Oh, you picked your project." " Uh, yeah." "I'm gonna 3-D print portal veins." "That is amazing, Mer." " How are you gonna do that..." " Okay, don't." "It's why I didn't tell you." "I have a career and a family, and I'm going to do both." "What I don't have time for is for you to tell me that I can't." "I never said that." "You know, I was always there for you, for whatever you needed, and now this is when I need you, and you're supposed to help me." "And instead, last week you pushed me aside because I had a baby." "You don't have time for me now?" "Because you don't have time for people who want things that you don't want." "But we know that every connection matters." "Every connection is crucial." "I-I-I have to finish this." "And when one is broken..." "It usually means some damage has been done." "I can't figure it out if you're seeing someone else or you think that you knocked me up, so..." "I tried to trace it back to the root of the problem, and I think it's your dad." "Look, I told you..." "Not to bring it up again, I know, and this is the last time, because if I'm wrong..." "You're not wrong." "You should be proud of yourself." "I could've let him just pass through, but you were all, "talk to him."" ""You'll wonder for the rest of your life."" "Well, thanks." "I didn't know I could feel this crappy again after 18 frickin' years!" "This system of connections compels us to act and choose and behave..." "Sometimes seemingly against our own will." "But it is not random at all." "It is the map of who we are." "Did you get my text?" "Shh." "Sorry." "I was stuck there." "I had to get this thing out by tonight." "I got hung up, too." "I just barely got them down." " Just now?" " I know." "It's so late." "I know." "I tried." "It's not working." "No, it isn't." "We just can't seem to make the pieces fit." "I agree, but I don't know how..." "I think I do." "I wanna spend more time on this B.C.I. research." "Torres and I... blew it wide open today." " So you wanna take on more?" " No." "Less, actually." "This is a big year for you, and you need time to make it work." "I had a big year." "I can step back, scale down the surgery, focus on this research, spend time with the kids, and give you the slack you need to make this year count." "I don't like it." "Wh... you'll resent me, and so will the kids, and..." "I don't wanna be my mother." "You're not your mother." "You know that." "We will work to understand ourselves... solve the puzzle..." "It feels unfair." "Spending time with the kids is not a consolation prize." "It is the prize." "You want fair?" "Maybe down the road," "I'll give you a year with them." "Maybe when Zola's dating, 'cause I don't wanna be around for that." "I love you." "Well, you should." "What I'm doing is amazing for you." "Mmm!" "You're gonna have more fun than me." "I know." "Oh, so that's where that went." "Yeah." "Is that ours?" "Yes." "How all the connections work... and all the pieces... fit."