"Alright, Charlie?" "Alright if you are, dad." "That's my boy." "Where are we going this time?" "Zürich, Switzerland." "Zu..." "Su..." "Gee, that's hard to say for a little chap." "Now try this on your piano:" "Zany Zanzibar zebras in the zealous zoo on the shores of the Zuiderzee." "Again." "You do it so beautifully." "Zany Zanzibar zebras in the..." "Seen anything like this before, Jim?" "What are these white blobs?" "Indigestible breakfast." "Not at all a thing to go to work on." "Diamonds." "Diamonds?" "Stomach's full of them." "High on carbide, low on protein." "They must be worth a fortune!" "Hello, Litoff Organisation." "He's taking no calls today." "Can I help you?" "How's the market?" "Open and steady." "Insurance is weak." "Motor's down." "Is the division in hand?" "He's calling us with Ocean Steel." "He has 30 shillings." "Tell him Mr. Litoff says to accept 29." "Not less." "We still have 200,000 to go." "Be a thought to split him into two parcels." "Do it!" "Get me Vudenheim." "Milan." "Do you want him?" "Keep trying for National Traction." "Check." "Mr. Vudenheim, Litoff Organisation here." "Get Gilsworth in Paris." "Sell 200,000 Ocean Steel at 29 shillings." "2,500 Yorkshire Tar at 89 shillings and sixpence." "Yes, hello." "This is she." "No." "Why?" "I enjoyed the spin in the country." "The sauce hollandaise was worth it." "Now, tell me why." "Surely you don't suggest..." "Why?" "High-level anxiety at the Treasury." "Really?" "There are certain valuables and currency leaving the country." "The pound is sick so we're visiting the Witton Cottage Hospital." "And who do we see?" "Dusty Rhodes." "Treasury man?" "Ventriloquist." "Aged 41." "Comes from an old, musical family." "It could be his farewell appearance." "Easily." "Where was he going?" "Switzerland." "His 7th trip in 4 weeks." "Yodelling lessons?" "Unconscious for 5 days." "Likely to remain so." "The currency and valuables turn up..." "...in Switzerland?" "3.5 million." "That's only the bit we know of." "Meet my best friend." "Flashy friend." "There's a 10 carat brilliant." "There's a 25 carat Westleton." "There's a 15 carat top K." "Knows his diamonds." "Has a taste for them." "Garnished with white coffee and toast." "Literally?" "It's the only way to travel." "Makes the souvenirs in my smalls look modest." "His father swallowed things." "What sort of things?" "Razor blades, swords, nails." "Inherited the talent or..." "Or what?" "He likes rich food." "Hello, little man." "Good afternoon, miss." "That was magnificent." "Beginner's luck." "Heard you'd be down." "What have you found out?" "The car's clean." "The smash?" "Genuine accident, I'd say." "Boys'll look at it tomorrow." "Everything's 100 per cent." "Think he always travelled on a full stomach?" "Six trips at 50,000 a time." "Another diamond eater?" "Never know your luck." "What are you going to do with him?" "Take him back." "That's a very fine tartan." "A very fine complexion." "Cost me a lot of money." "Lord Jock." "How do you do, Mrs. Rhodes?" "Nice little act." "First done after the interval." "Couldn't keep off the bottle." "I had an auntie like that." "On the halls?" "Skating act." "Bit between the teeth." "Dancing on the marble-top table." "Like a bit of juggling myself." "Or a levitation act." "Very uplifting." "Do you know him?" "Charlie!" "How did you get him?" "Your husband's been in an accident." "Tragic." "You don't sound heartbroken." "Observant, aren't we?" "He used to go Switzerland several times a week." "Do you know why?" "Big market." "Those refugee homes where they look after kids." "The Litoff homes." "Alex Litoff?" "That's him." "He started a lot of them." "Always good for a hospital or library roof." "So they say." "Does your husband..." "...know Litoff?" "Dusty?" "Yes." "Known him for years." "They met out there." "He used to do a fair act himself." "That's how we met." "I was touring in the belle of New York ." "In the chorus, mind you." "Excuse me." "I'll leave him with you." "Thanks." "Goodbye, Mrs. Rhodes." "In hospital, you say?" "That's it." "Be all right, won't he?" "I should think so." "Perhaps you could go and see him." "Go grovelling to him?" "Fat chance." "You sit there, darling." "Going to stay here with me." "Listen, Dusty." "I don't need love." "A bunch of flowers and a box of chocs." "There'll be no holding him." "What do you say, sweetheart?" "Let us regret nothing." "Bemoan nothing." "But look forward only to the long awaited dawn." "The dawn of reunion." "And so we commit to the earth the body of our best friend." "Not in sadness but in love and expectation." "At times like this, I find it very hard to offer sympathy." "One cannot help feeling that our friends have moved to a far better place." "It's a great loss." "You were close?" "Very." "We'd been together for almost nine years." "A mere drop in the ocean of time." "It's only a separation, you know." "Hard to think of it in those terms." "You must try, dear fellow." "You must try." "What took him at the end?" "A thrombosis?" "A gallant heart tired at the end of its life's work?" "Distemper." "Hadn't he been vaccinated?" "It was a million-to-1 chance." "So the vet said." "The Happy Valley Resting Place." "Every anniversary a card of remembrance will arrive on your table from your four-legged friend." "Incidentally, while we're on the subject, to whom do I send the bill?" "Mr. Litoff, sir." "Get onto Spiedel right away and tell him we're secure." "And not to worry." "He has Mr. Litoff's personal guarantee." "Will there be anything for half an hour?" "I don't think so." "Has Mr. Litoff had his breakfast?" "Two three-and-a-half-minute eggs and a grapefruit." "I ran his bath for him." "95 degrees Fahrenheit." "Where are you going?" "To take Dancer for a walk." "Get me Sullivan." "Try and get that Zurich number." "Good morning." "Good morning to you, sir." "What a marvellous dog." "I used to have one myself." "They need an awful lot of exercise." "Very true, sir." "Have you an appointment?" "I dropped in to see Mr. Litoff." "I'm afraid that's impossible." "Mr. Litoff is in bed." "Still?" "What about the early bird catching the worm?" "He's indisposed." "My mistake." "The bowler, sir." "A Benson?" "None other." "Is old Mr. Benson still alive?" "It's his son now." "Young Master arthur?" "Arthur is in his late 40s, he has seven little trilbies." "Surely, Mr. Litoff has a number one who can arrange things." "Yes, Miss Pegram." "But I'm afraid I couldn't disturb..." "This is rather special." "I want to return something." "50,000 pounds." "I'll do my best." "Would you be so kind?" "I'd be delighted." "Come on." "What's your name?" "Dancer." "I don't think you've seen a decent tree in years..." "Your name, sir?" "Steed." "Would you come this way?" "After you, Dancer." "Fascinating." "What is?" "The sight of so many people making so much money." "I understand you're returning something." "I could have sworn that Big Ben moved." "Must've been the Worcestershire sauce and clamato juice." "It's us that's moving." "The Litoff Organisation never stands still." "So I see." "Could you remain motionless for one moment to have a little look at these." "These our diamonds?" "Being smuggled out of the country by someone named Rhodes." "He crashed his car and is now in hospital." "Interesting." "How did you get them?" "I was in the right place at the right time." "What?" "Shall I take these in for Mr. Litoff's signature?" "Why'd you return them?" "Assumed they'd be worth something." "They're worth something." "To anyone, even you." "Say, 5,000 pounds?" "A conservative estimate." "They're worth 10 times that." "I'm not greedy and not fool enough to sell on the market." "I think it's worth 5,000 to get them back." "Mr. Litoff would like to speak to you." "Yes, sir." "Pegram here." "What is wrong with everybody?" "Wrong?" "I don't follow." "Follow, my foot!" "Why hasn't the copper deal gone through?" "We're waiting for Wall Street." "We?" "I am waiting." "You're not queen or archbishop." "I want the deal to go through today." "Understand?" "The basis of blackmail is that the person you're blackmailing has performed a criminal act." "The person that you're in a position to blackmail is Rhodes." "He has little or no money." "You're wasting your time." "I'd be willing to bet that you'd say you'd never met him." "Rhodes?" "Employee like myself." "I don't see the similarity." "Pursuit of that line is unrewarding." "Rhodes stole the diamonds and was taking them out of the country." "What about the police?" "You don't know about the Organisation." "Nobody does." "That's what's so intriguing." "In a day's trading, we handle monies worth 5 to 15 million pounds sterling." "One moment." "Loss of 50,000 is negligible." "Could you speak to Viccelli again?" "Is it urgent?" "He says it is." "Excuse me?" "As we agreed." "I am speaking for Mr. Litoff." "I thought it might lead to..." "No." "It doesn't." "If it's not worth 5,000 for diamonds maybe it's worth it for me to say nothing." "I'll put it to Mr. Litoff at our conference." "You may call tomorrow." "How about noon?" "You can offer me a drink." "It would be a..." "A pleasure?" "As good a way as any of saying goodbye." "You've forgotten something." "Thank you." "Any change?" "That'll be the day." "Be weeks before he speaks." "Have to change his dressings." "It'll take 20 minutes." "You should pop into the canteen." "Mustn't leave the bedside." "I won't write a report about it." "Nobody'll steal him..." "...while I'm here." "You sure?" "Go on." "All right." "Thanks." "I'll only be about five minutes." "Fine." "A man in a doctor's housecoat and a mask." "Correction." "An educated man." "How do you know?" "He knew enough about medicine to check his temperature and pulse and to enter it in the correct column." "Educated and enterprising." "Very." "Motive obvious:" "To prevent Rhodes talking." "All right, don't tell me." "They found some hairs on Rhodes's suit." "Blonde, brunette or redhead?" "Blonde." "A specimen of Russian wolfhound." "A Borzoi." "Which one was Rhodes's car?" "It's not here." "Hello?" "What happened?" "I had a call." "He said it was the police." "Coming to pick up Rhodes's wreck." "It sounded phoney." "A few minutes later, bingo." "The car is gone." "I'm sorry." "That's not your fault." "It's almost reassuring." "How come?" "Means they're getting worried." "Or careful." "See anybody?" "Not a soul." "What would they want with a car?" "That's Litoff." "Where?" "In the balcony." "Up or down?" "Down." "Ascot Gold Cup '57." "That was his horse phase." "He bought a couple of stables." "Where is he?" "Talking to the jockey on Number 8." "Blast!" "When was this?" "'36, '37." "That's more than 30 years ago." "It's the best they've got!" "Shall we rewind it or go on to Popeye?" "It's a complete waste of time." "All I've seen is the back of his head and the tips of his fingers." "He's very retiring." "So I've learned." "Have you read this morning's Times?" "Not yet." "Coffee?" "There's something rather interesting in it." ""Cocktail party at..." That's not it." "This is it." ""at last night's performance at Covent Garden..." ""...the singing of Madam..." ""...standing ovation..." Here." ""also present was Mr. Alex Litoff." ""accompanied by his niece, Miss Judy Channery."" "Very interesting." "Black or white?" "White, please." "She's an assistant..." "The tie boutique..." "...behind Bond Street." "How do you know?" "I saw the memo beside your phone." "I'm an insatiable reader." "Anyway..." "She went to Rodine and Summerville." "We have a lot in common." "You weren't at Rodine or Summerville." "I was." "Now." "Looking or buying?" "Buying." "Boyfriend, husband, lover?" "Does it make any difference to the tie?" "Certainly." "Colour of hair, eyes, disposition." "We believe a man should change his neck drawers as often as he changes his mood." "We're opposed to the idea of a man buying a tie and then just wearing it until you can't see the original for egg stains and gravy, etc." "What's this?" "The old anonians." "Old anonians." "What are they?" "The old boy's tie for people who've never been to school." "The old Etonians and Harrowians, they have their ties." "This is the neckwear for the self-made man." "Anon:" "School of hard knocks." "I see." "We have a range of ties that look exactly like famous clubs and regiments but aren't quite." "A current favourite is the Irish Guards with the fig leaf on just for luck." "I'll take this one." "Good choice." "Shot silk." "Italian import." "Gift wrapped?" "Please." "Aren't you Judith Channery?" "That's right." "I thought so." "We were at school together." "Were we?" "I'm Emma." "You're not the girl who climbed the Clock Tower and put the unmentionable on top..." "Do you know, I can still see the sun glinting on it." "The head girl called the school to give three cheers for the constable who brought it down." "How 's your uncle?" "Which one?" "The rich one." "Mr. Lit..." "Litvanoff?" "Still as rich as ever." "Is he still an invalid?" "Kidney troubles." "We went to the opera the other night." "Businessmen..." "We arrived late and had to leave before the last scene." "I've seen Faust three times and I still don't know what happens to him in the end." "There we are." "Cash or account?" "Account, please." "Can you send it here?" "Certainly." "I read that he was leaving London." "Uncle Alex?" "Never." "He was born an Armenian but he's British to the core." "Excuse me." ""and the devil claims his soul."" "I beg your pardon?" "Faust." "What's the best price you can have?" "1,500." "Can you get 27 shillings for 5,000?" "Just a sec." "Nothing better than 26." "Is that the last 5,000?" "Yes." "Do we accept?" "Take it." "Good morning." "Good morning." "No dog today?" "He's had his walk, sir." "Is Miss Pegram expecting me?" "She is, sir." "Tell me, Glover, what is Mr. Litoff like?" "The kindest of men, sir." "A privilege to work for." "Mr." "Steed, madam." "Thank you, Glover." "Here we are again." "Are we in business?" "I put your proposition to Mr. Litoff." "He authorised payment of 4,000 pounds." "4,000?" "I thought we had talked about 5,000." "Once he has made a decision, I'm not empowered to amend it." "Can't you go back and ask..." "It wouldn't be any good." "This is not a street market." "I'm not entirely satisfied." "You can always put those diamonds on the market." "If you did, we would prosecute." "Or you could have me knocked on the head and taken back." "Those are hardly business methods." "Shall we hold?" "Sell." "But Mr. Litoff said..." "Once again, Mr. Steed." "You know very little about the Litoff Organisation." "Fear of publicity isn't necessarily an indication of honesty." "It would be wrong to say that publicity is feared." "It's not sought." "There's a difference." "Verbal difference." "I joined the Litoff Organisation 14 years ago as a chartered accountant." "A woman in a world of pinstripe and grey flannel." "An alien." "Mr. Litoff gave me a job and taught me everything I know." "If he died tomorrow, my name would mean nothing." "Shining publicity can have its disadvantages." "Do you resent that?" "No." "My vanity would like to be fed occasionally." "Credit where it's due." "He's a remarkable man." "Very remarkable." "I can't sign that." "It's a personal account." "He's had his nap." "You can go in." "Very good." "Well, Mr. Steed. 4,000." "You're a very good business woman." "Didn't you say something about a drink?" "Help yourself." "Can I give you one?" "Not before sundown." "Alex, you're incorrigible." "You'll live to be 100." "Do you know Sir James arnell?" "Drop your bedside manner." "This is John Steed." "How do you do?" "Pleasure." "Not from the looks, much I can do for you." "I hope not." "I know you by reputation." "Hard earned, I assure you." "I don't believe in rating surgeons like restaurants." "Sir James arnell: three crossed spoons." "Scalpels, surely." "How is Mr. Litoff?" "Well, considering how you maltreat him." "How long was the evening meeting?" "Under an hour." "And the morning?" "Longer." "He goes gallivanting off to the opera." "It's too much." "Restricted to one conference a day and in bed by 10:00." "I know but..." "Talk to him!" "Persuade him!" "A stroke means they'll be dusting off the obituary notices." "It's a disgusting thought that they're all written waiting to be produced and shuffled like a hand of cards." "Glover is the only one who has any influence on him." "When Wiseman calls tell him I want to speak to him." "Yes, sir." "But keep that old quack out of here." "Talks about me as though I was an old Roy." "Are you in this crazy business?" "I'm allied to it." "It's ridiculous." "The pursuit of wealth." "Far greater than anybody could possibly need." "One's only hope is in some kind of physical and mental simplicity." "I'm sure you're right." "Should you need me, I'll be in surgery until 5:00." "Later I'll be at home or at Harris Brothers for a reception." "We'll see you tomorrow." "I'll walk along with you." "It was a pleasure doing business with you." "Hope to meet you again soon." "Without being rude, I hope not." "I don't know." "I enjoyed our little chats." "Sir James is waiting downstairs." "Is business concluded?" "Most satisfactory." "Charming lady." "We got on splendidly." "Did you ever know a fellow called Rhodes?" "Vaguely, sir." "He was connected with the charitable homes." "Entertainment." "Always telling jokes." "A rather tedious gentleman, sir." "Did he have anything to do with Dancer?" "Good gracious, no." "The dogs are my responsibility and mine alone." "I see." "Dog?" "You said "dogs." Do you have more than one?" "I beg your pardon, yes." "It was a force of habit." "We did have two." "But one of them, Bellhound, died." "Tragic loss." "It is." "Yes?" "I'd like to see Miss Pegram." "Have you an appointment, madam?" "No." "I suggest you write stating your business." "It's important." "Saves her time." "That's why she can't be disturbed." "Tell her I'm Dusty Rhodes's widow." "It won't make a difference." "What is it?" "It's Dusty's widow." "She wants to speak to you." "I was just telling..." "Come in." "I'm sorry." "I had no idea Mr. Rhodes's injuries were so serious." ""Without regaining consciousness." Isn't that the phrase?" "Very convenient." "I can understand you're feeling bitter." "But I can't understand why you're here or how I can help." "He told me a lot about those Swiss trips he was making." "Won't you sit down?" "Must be open season for blackmail." "You're the 2nd this week." "Your husband did something which would've cost him his job had he lived." "However as he was in our employ we shall grant you an indemnity." "It won't be a fortune." "I shall need more than that." "You see, I know where Bellhound is." "Bellhound is dead." "My husband was supposed to kill him." "But Dusty was an animal lover." "The only thing we had in common." "Bellhound still alive?" "Who is it?" "I know you're here." "Speak up!" "His doctor says he suffers from heart trouble." "He should know." "His niece says it's kidney trouble." "She should know." ""You pays your penny and you takes your choice."" "I suggest you break into Sir James's car." "You do?" "Get his black bag and find out what treatment he's been giving him." "Fine." "What sort of car?" "Rolls." "Where will it be?" "Parked outside Harris Brothers, the cigar merchants." "Chauffeur?" "No." "Where will you be?" "With Sir James." "Where else?" "Swiss." "Excellent." "Interesting." "Mild." "Intriguing." "Anything else?" "Mass produced." "The conveyor belt." "Not the sweaty thigh." "It is not fair." "This a pleasant surprise." "I didn't know you were a cigar man." "You know Juanita?" "Excuse me." "Do sit." "Thank you." "Why the jungle music?" "One of Pedro's little eccentricities." "The Spanish word cigarro, means sì cara ." "Interesting." "Nice smoke?" "Yes." "Tell me about this dream." "Dream?" "The simple life away from the stresses of the Litoff household." "That?" "Asia perhaps." "Yes, Asia." "A clinic where one's skill, such as it is, can be put to better use than it is in London." "I can't see your patients allowing that." "Can you conceive how I long to get away from fatty degenerates gluttons, sybarites." "We smoke 14 cigars per head per year." "The Dutch smoke 200." "Let's even up the score a bit." "I'm on your side." "Recognise him?" "One of Litoff's assistants." "What did you find out?" "Cardiac arrest four years ago." "Enlarged left ventricle." "Heart's very unsound." "Do you know anyone who owns a Borzoi?" "No." "I think I do." "Too late, I'm afraid." "The dog left in a hurry." "Anybody home?" "Good evening, Mrs. Rhodes?" "No." "I'm afraid she just dropped out for a minute." "I've called for the dog." ""answers to the name of Bellhound."" ""Three pounds of meat, half a biscuit, and at least one bone."" "Yes." "She's changed her mind, I'm afraid." "What?" "Not half an hour since she phoned." "It couldn't wait." "Dearie me." "Will that cover it?" "Handsomely." "Thank you." "You're sure?" "Quite sure." "lf you say so." "Good night, ma'am." "Bellhound." "What breed of dog was that?" "Russian wolfhound." "Borzoi." "Curiouser and curiouser." "Looking for something?" "As a matter of fact, I am." "A dog." "A Borzoi called Bellhound." "You conducted a ceremony for a friend of mine recently." "My dear, they all come here." "Eventually." "Bellhound." "Mr. Litoff's Borzoi." "Over here." "Splendid creature." "Lovely lady." "Lady?" "Yes, I think so." "When did Mr. Litoff die?" "He passed away some few days ago." "Who killed him?" "Killed him?" "It was the third coronary that took him." "Really, Glover." "Mr. Litoff had been ill for some considerable time." "Ask Sir James." "When he died you became pretty rich." "Miss Pegram is very experienced in the financial field." "It would all have gone in death duties." "Seemed so pointless." "As a matter of interest how much do you expect to clean up?" "Collect." "The last time I worked it out my share was in excess of 11 million pounds." "Give or take a few 100,000." "There's no point in my offering you a bribe." "No, sir." "I could, however, offer you one." "How did you bribe Litoff's niece?" "My niece, sir." "Quite a promising performance." "How old are you?" "Sixty-five." "A fit 65." "Fifteen years in jail." "A conservative estimate, that takes you to 80." "A trifle aged to enjoy all those millions." "I say 15 years, I'm assuming you can prove your innocence of murder." "I told you Mr. Litoff had a coronary." "Not Litoff." "Dusty Rhodes." "He died of his injuries." "He was murdered!" "So was his wife." "I'm sorry." "I don't believe you." "How are you going to spend this money?" "I hardly like to say." "Why not?" "You'll think less of me." "No, I won't." "It's the power that excites me." "I want to be ill-mannered, unruled and uncouth." "And order people about." "Especially women." "I look forward to being excessively rude to a number of handsome women!" "Just because they're dogs and cats anyone with the price of a spade can open a grave any time." "I want clearance on Mr. Litoff's private plane." "Litoff!" "L-i-t-o-double F." "To leave for Zurich within the hour." "Don't panic." "Official wheels turn very slowly." "I'm frightened." "Don't be." "It's the element of chance." "If I hadn't been to the grave..." "Never mind!" "Any sign of Sir James?" "No." "Must be the traffic." "Keep an eye out." "I only went there to lay a small floral tribute." "One's last respects." "You understand?" "Leaving?" "Don't flatter yourself." "We were leaving anyway." "Been planning it for some time." "Wouldn't you say, Bellhound?" "I'm an ideas man." "That's why Litoff employed me." "It all becomes clear now." "Glover can go around being rude to people you can prove you were the power behind the throne and Sir James..." "He surprised me." "I may even say he disappoints me." "He was a hard nut to crack." "It took me five years to find his weak spot." "The clinic." "You can get a lot of clinic for 12 million." "That'll be him now." "Mr. Litoff's?" "The Pedigree Kennels." "I've come to collect the dogs." "Very well." "Follow me." "Yes?" "The lady from the kennels." "Fetch the dogs." "Do you have any baskets or rugs?" "In the hall." "What's the game?" "She was at the pet cemetery." "Where's Steed?" "Would you like to join him?" "There's something to be said for an elaborate hairstyle." "What exactly?" "Hairpins." "Let me help you." "Perfect for the job." "What is it?" "A solid gold toothpick." "A bequest from my Uncle Joe." "If it was only Glover." "We'd stand a chance." "What about Sir James?" "Ignore him!" "But with the three of them." "Miss Pegram is the tough one." "Rubbish!" "We can't kill them!" "It's against my code of life." "The Hippocratic oath..." "I'll offer you a percentage of my cut." "Another 2 million." "I'll make it 5." "I don't want your money!" "Couldn't we take them with us?" "Don't be stupid!" "Why not?" "Leave them stranded somewhere." "Yes." "You think so?" "We'll take them with us and drop them off somewhere." "Somewhere over the sea." "Read it." ""12:15." ""Body exhumed from London pet cemetery." ""Definitely identified as Alex Litoff, Armenian financier."" "We'll use the roof exit." "I'll meet you up there." "Hold it." "Please, sir." "The gun." "It really isn't necessary." "Our dreams have forsaken us, Glover." "They have, sir." "Gilt-edged bonds." "Unnegotiable." "Home, James." "I assume you wish me to go, too, sir?" "I'm afraid so." "After you." "No." "After you." "There they were." "All alone." "Completely abandoned." "We couldn't just leave them there." "Couldn't we?" "I'll think of something." "Will you?" "How about a pair of bath mats?" "His and hers." "I bought you a present." "That's very generous of you, Mrs. Peel." "One thing still puzzles me." "That voice on Litoff's intercom?" "Glover." "Some butler." "He comes from an old theatrical family." "Good at imitations, bird impressions?" "Don't you like it?" "I bought it especially for you." "I'm an Englishman, therefore, a dog lover." "I prefer to not to have dogs either on my domain or upon my neck tie."