"Like lots of children, we had to leave our home - leave London." "We didn't want to go, but Dad went to fly planes and Mum went to look after the wounded, and we were stuck." "They insisted we go to the country to stay with mad Uncle Albert and our cousin Horace." "Read all about it!" "Read all about it!" "Sopwith squadrons to go to the Western Front." "Robert!" " The latest news!" "Robert, wait!" "Now, Uncle Albert will meet you at the station." "Do you think he'll have model planes - fighters, like Dad's?" "I'm not sure, but he has a son called Horace who's about your age." "He might." "Children, you're to listen to Cyril while we're away." "Why's he in charge?" "You're not in charge of me!" "Robert, I am." "Find a nice..." "Oh, there's an empty carriage here." " Dad." " What?" "Dad." "Is there any way I can come with you?" "Robert, who's the most important member of any mission?" "You are - the pilot." "No, it's the navigator." "The pilot would be lost without one." "Your mum and I need you to keep everyone on course." "You can count on me." "So you always know where to find me." "Your compass." "I'm going to miss you." "Come on." "On you get." " All aboard!" " Look after yourself." " Be a brave girl." " Cyril." "Promise to do as Uncle Albert tells you." "Anthea, take that." "Here's another." " Bye, Mummy!" " Wish you were coming." " Bye, Dad." " Bye, Mum." "After we left, CyriI was trying to show me who was boss." "I didn't pay him any attention, though." "I began to think, if I played my cards right, a summer in the country with no parents about could only mean one thing." "Adventure." "Of course, I never dreamed just how amazing an adventure it would be." "Robert, wait!" "Robert, what have I told you?" "Wait on the platform." "Hello!" "I'll take those." "Mind the doors!" " Hurry up." " Close all the doors, please." "Can you see Uncle?" "He must be here somewhere." " Maybe he's a bit late." " Train, that's right!" " Are you coming or not?" " OK." "OK." "Robert, wait for us!" "I'm sure we're going the right way." "How many times have you said that?" "I still don't understand why we had to leave home." "Jane, we're going on a secret mission, behind enemy lines." "The chances are that none of us will make it back alive." "C YRIL:" "Oh, Robert." "For goodness' sake." "They'll come at us with Zeppelins..." "Oh, look, it's the house!" " Yes!" " We've arrived." "It's Uncle's castle." "Come on, you two." "Oh, I'm soaked." "He's got a car." "Maybe he'll give you a go." "Good evening, madam." "We're looking for our Uncle Albert." " We are..." " Five children!" "Oh, my goodness!" "But you're not due till Friday." "Today is..." "Friday." "It is?" "I have a goose in the oven." "Goose is Thursdays." "Oh, never mind." "Come in." "Come in." "Come on." "Tuesday's duck, Wednesday's duck, Thursday's goose." "Put your cases down." "It's duck, duck, goose." "We must have had Wednesday on Tuesday and Monday on Sunday." "It's just one day, I suppose." "Last year, we lost October." "It's not an easy thing to do, you know, lose a whole month." "I'll get you some towels and tell your uncle you've arrived." "CHILDREN:" "Thank you." " What a dump." "It's scary." "I don't like it very much." "I do, it's so Gothic, just like the Castle Of Terror." " It's like school." "You'd love it, Cyril." " What was that?" "Nothing." "What is this caterwauling and cacophony?" "Rumbles and grumbles?" "Distant thunder?" "Warm air rising, cold front - boom." "Not expecting that, I dare say, hmm?" "What." "These are the children I was telling you about - your nephews and nieces." "Impossible." "Not due till Friday." " Isn't that right, Horace?" " Yes, Father, not due till Friday." " Today is Friday." "Can't be." "Smell that." "That's Thursday." "Uncle, it's me" " CyriI." "You came to my eighth birthday party." "You gave me a subscription to Algebra Monthly." "Cyril?" "Cyril!" "No." "Cyril was a much smaller boy." "But that was five years ago." "Was it?" "Well, er..." "I should think he'd be about your age by now." "I wonder what he's doing." "I can eat a whole goose by myself." "Well, if it is Friday, as you assert, then goose was yesterday, so you'll have to wait till um... er... next Thursday." "But there is a goose cooking and today is Friday." "Ah." "Well, Martha..." "Looks like Thursday's gone missing with last October." "Well, well done." "Thank you." "Oh... your father... .. top chap." "Very brave." "Well, I'm off to unleash my thoughts onto the page." "Many problems to solve." "History will be the judge." " What was that?" " Children, I'll show you to your rooms." " Anthea, is it?" " Yes." "Er... please, let me just take the little one." "Upsy." "There we are." "You poor things." "You must be so exhausted." " Hello, Horace." "Hello." "I was taught never to talk to strangers." "But... we're your cousins." "Yes... but you're strange." "In the morning, I'll give you a tour of the grounds." "You're allowed everywhere except the greenhouse." "That's strictly off limits." "Why would a greenhouse be off limits?" "Maybe the plants are deadly, like in The Black Rose Of Devil's Island." "The greenhouse is off limits because I said it is." "So just stay out of it and everything will be fine." "Here we go." "Look." "It seems to have stopped drizzling... just in time for it to start raining... much harder." " It could be worse." " Let's have a little bit of music." "I knew I should have hid that thing back at home." "Oh, no, there must be a wounded cat in the room." "Jane, put that thing down and help me look." " Here, kitty." "C YRIL:" "Take that back." " You can't tell me what to do!" " I can and you know it." "I hate it here!" "He doesn't mean it." " He's just missing home." " Am I that bad?" "Be honest." "Take that back?" "No chance." "What a place." "All summer?" "I'll go mad, too." "Ah, children!" "I expect you could do with a spot of lunch." "Come on, sit down, sit down." "First, second Saturday of the month, all know what that means." "Second Saturday." "Statutes, laws, edicts, regulations... rules." "Exciting times, children." "A chance to grasp the goblet of goodness." "Ah, yes... rules." "Delicious." "It doesn't look too bad." "Rule one." "No running in corridors." "Rule two." "You will tidy your rooms from top to bottom, side to side, up and down, round and round, and back to front." "Polish the woodwork, the paintwork, and your homework." "Rule three." "Laundry." "Three times a week." "Very important." "British Empire was built on clean pants." " Er... clean pants and um..." " Mint sauce?" "Don't be ridiculous, Horace." " Rule four." "Never ever go into..." " The greenhouse." "So, come on, don't delay, don't dilly-dally, push on, go forth." "Wait!" "One more rule." "The alpha and omega - be all and end all." "I am writing a book." "Difficult Sums For Children." "Therefore, in this house, absolute silence." "Do not bring down... .. the dragon's wrath." "Now... did Martha say that we were not to go in here... .. or that... we were not to miss going in here?" "She wasn't very clear." "Grapes!" "Great!" "Laundry..." "These rules are mad." "Yes." "We're never going to get through this." "Not if there were 100 of us." "Look how long it is." "Where do you think Uncle keeps his really big hammers?" "What?" "Robert, this is the one room we were told not to go in." "Come back." "What's that?" " I said, this is the one room..." " I can't hear a word you're saying." "Robert, stop fooling around." "Come here." "Come here!" "You were saying something about not being in the greenhouse?" "Yes, Cyril." "So, can we come in, too?" "All right." "All right, just don't touch anything." " Over here." "Look." " What is it now?" "But it's locked." "Is it?" " I wonder what's behind it." " I don't." " Let me borrow that hammer." " Forget it." "We're guests, not burglars." "Besides, I'm sure there's a good reason why the door's locked." " Anyone for grapes?" " Yes, please!" "No wonder Martha didn't want us in here." "Look at it." "It's a mess." " Jane." " Thank you." "Catch." "CyriI!" " Very nice." " How did he do that?" "Who cares?" "Let's explore." "Where's the Lamb?" "Come on." "Come on, Cyril." "It's either this or laundry." "In for a penny..." "It's wonderful." "I wonder where it leads." "It's so dark in here." "We turn back if we see anything creepy-crawly." " Agreed?" " OK." "Agreed." "I wonder where this leads?" "There was a tunnel like this in The Maze Of Molidor." "It's where Bertram the Bold encounters a giant nine-legged, talking spider." "How horrible." "C YRIL:" "Well, I think that's ridiculous." "Everybody knows spiders have eight legs." "I don't like it in here." "Cyril, maybe we'll find a sunken ship." "Or buried treasure." " Or maybe even... a dead body." " Oh." " Robert!" " Let's hope we can find our way back." "Come on." "I can see light." "I can see the sea up ahead." "It's not raining." " It's beautiful." "C YRIL:" "Robert, wait." " Look at it." " Anthea." "Beautiful." "Where are we?" "What happened to the rain?" "CyriI, come here, look at this." " What is it?" " Right... this is uncharted territory, so we have to be careful." " No-one do anything..." " Yeah, yeah." "You're it!" " Yes!" "Robert!" ".. rash." " Robert!" " Amazing!" "Fantastic!" "Yes!" "C YRIL:" "Robert!" "Ooh!" "Whoa!" "Yes!" "You shouldn't have eaten those grapes." "It wasn't me." "It was..." "It was it." " Help me lift it out." " What?" " Lift this out." "What is it?" "It looks like an old turtle shell." "I can hear it breathing." " Something's inside it." " It's alive!" "Hey..." " Come on." " I'm not sure..." "Oh, come on." "This could be dangerous." "Robert." "I think it's asleep." "Look, whatever it is, we don't want to wake it up." "It spoke." "How scary." "It couldn't have." "One, two, three..." "Yes, there it is again." "What's it saying?" "It sounded like, "Shove off. "" " Hello?" " Do you want to lose your nose?" "It could be a giant talking crab." "Oh." "Look!" "A lobster." " After it!" " Don't touch it!" "I don't know why I said lobster." "On this beach, just over there!" "Come here!" " Stay back!" " Aghh!" "You have to stop talking to it." "It could be dangerous." "I bet it has huge fangs and poisonous saliva." " It's an ugly little monster." " "It"?" "It?" "It?" "Do you mean to tell me you do not know what a Psammead is?" "You're a what?" "I am a Psammead crustacea decapodlium wishasaurus." "Got it?" "No." "I am a Sand-fairy." " Sand-fairy?" " Yeah." "I thought fairies had little ballet dresses and wings and wands." "What on earth have you been reading?" "I'll call you Sandy." " Why?" " Because we found you in the sand." "You're so funny." "Have your parents tried boiling you?" "That's it." "Come on." " Don't like that "boiling" line, do you?" " Robert, now!" "Kids don't like that." " Off you go..." " Come here." "Did you know that fairies in books can grant wishes?" "All right, all right." "I will grant you your wishes." "But..." "I have a list of demands." "My needs are minimal but what I need is a state room, with a sunken bath and those taps that go backwards and forwards." "And I need a toothbrush made of gold." "Not the bristles, but the bit you hold." "Gold bristles would hurt my gums." "Did that once." "Anyway, I'd like white sand spread on the floor, preferably sand from the Bahamas." " And a shower cap." " The thing is, we don't have a palace." " And a yak." " Or any of those other things." "We're the Butterworths." "All we have is a small house in London." " We're just children." " Make a wish anyway." " I wish..." " Stop." "You've started a wish." "You can't stop now." "¶ Make a wish, make a wish..." "On second thoughts, we're going to leave this little man and go back to the house." "We've still got Uncle's list to get through." "Oh, great idea." "Let's go and tidy up for 14 hours." " That's it." "¶ Ba-dup, bo-dup, ba-da ba-da" "Sand-fairy." " Are you still here?" " Yes." " And we wish..." " Anthea!" "We wish for all the tasks on Uncle's list to be done by magic." "OK." "So, you want me to give you..." "extra hands?" "No!" "Here we go." "Was that it?" "Yeah, good, eh?" "Quick!" "Come on, let's see if it worked." "Let's go!" "Anthea, how did you get here so fast?" " Anthea?" " Yes?" "You'll never guess what's in our..." "Ah." "I don't believe it." "Come on." "Come on!" "Do you realise what this means?" "We'll never have to work again." "We're free." "Jane?" "Wishes." "Real wishes." "We made a wish... and it came true." "It's not supposed to happen." "She's right, you know." "This is big." "It's huge." "It's immense." "It's monumentally, colossally ginormous." " Is that even a word?" " Apparently it is now." "I hate to do this, but it's for your own good." "Stop!" "Horace is coming." "You have to distract him." "Quickly, go!" "Quick!" "Well, it's you, you horrible little child." "Shouldn't you be cleaning my room?" "Horace, it's time we got to know one another." "No, it isn't." "I used to think that myself, but here we are." "I'll start." "Oh, great." "Just what my day was missing." "A tour of a dark, smelly basement." "This is where I keep my monster collection." "What's that noise?" "I don't know." "Be careful." "Don't get too close." "You might get savaged." "By a dead starfish with an onion stuck on it." "It's not." "It's called Megastarrium and it's a monster." "They're all monsters." "Look." "Ooh, that was scary - very scary." " Oh, no!" "It's me." " This is not good." "If Uncle hears it, we're for it." "Here." "Wait there." "I'll try and distract him." "I was hoping you could teach me the more finer points of monster er..." "Monster mastery?" " Please." " You're in for a treat." "Who dares sally forth to the dragon's lair?" "It's Cyril, Uncle." "Yes, Cyril." "Mm." "Yeah, popular name these days." "Seems every other boy I meet is called Squirrel" " Cyril." "Cyril!" "I've come to see what you're writing." "Really?" "I like to do sums." " The harder, the better." " Plucky chap!" "Come in." "Let us make maths your mistress." "Ignite the mind." "I am going to set you the most difficult sum you have ever seen." "Exciting, eh?" "It's here... somewhere." "Ahh..." "Ooh." "I know how you feel." "It's beautiful, isn't it?" "There's no need to rush." "Enjoy." "Savour the sum." "Let it wash over you." "And once you gain its trust..." "it's yours for life." " Are you the real Anthea?" " Yes." "At least, I think so." "Shrieking?" "Screeching?" "Ahh, nails down the blackboard?" "The dragon awakes." "Uncle, no!" "Whoever is making that noise..." "Well, then, minus 82... .. dire consequences!" "Come on, Cyril, think!" ".. the cosine rule will come into action, meaning that the 86 is totally irrelevant." "Ah!" "3,465,222." "Say that again." "3,465,222." "A prime number of the Zeeman series." "Toppety-notchety work, Squirrel" " Cyril." "It's my favourite series, although the Flugelstadt Succession runs it a close second." "I'll show you Dr Flugelstadt's book." "He went mad, you know, completely bonkers." "Lost his marbles." "Fell out of his tree." "Oak, I think." "Ah, now, wait." "What's this one?" "No, wait!" "Don't tell me." "Eggasaurus." "No." "Tyrannosaurus." "Come on, you two." "If we start now, we might be able to finish by... next Tuesday." "Just look at this place." "How are we going to pay for the damage?" "It's not too bad." "I mean, it's just... these plates... and that clock... .. this vase..." "How expensive do you think a Ming vase would be?" "I know." "We don't have to buy anything." "We can wish for the things to be fixed good as new." "Well, now." "What a to-do today turned out to be." "Oh... it wasn't us." " Honestly, it was the Sand-fairy..." " Jane." " Sand-fairy, huh?" "Er..." "No, she didn't say "Sand-fairy", she said..." "She said..." "Safari." "We were pretending to be on safari, and Cyril is an elephant." "A safari, of course." "Well, now, if we all do as I do... we can undo all this to-do before tomorrow." "Come along, you lot." "Dear Mummy, should Uncle's letter reach you before this one does," "Robert says breakages are inevitable, under the circumstances." "Anyway, it is only the second week, and we've already found an amazing beach, and we found a... found a strange thing." "But it is nearly bedtime." "So, no more from me tonight." "Your loving daughter, Jane." "PS." "If you could have a wish come true, what would you have?" " Bacon?" " Yes, please." " The Supersaurus was 200 feet high!" " I know that." "But if you want to see a real monster..." "Ow!" "What was that for?" " Boiled egg, Jane?" " Mm." "Yes, please." "Thank you." "Ooh!" "What did you two get up to yesterday?" "Horace showed me his laboratory." "And his collection of monsters." "He's got dozens pickled in jars." " Eugh, that's really disgusting." " Most of them were rubbish." " Hey!" " But he has a dinosaur in an egg!" "That's a secret." "Now you have to tell me a secret of yours." "Well... yester..." " Robert!" "Robert, no." "Come here." "Hey!" "Put me down!" "Hey, get off." "What are you playing at?" "You're bound to mention It." " So?" " It's our secret." "And Horace is so nasty." "He's odd, but he's not so bad when you get to know him." "And he has his own laboratory." "Where he collects monsters and pickles them in jars?" " Yes." " Think what he'd do to It." "Er... yes." "Good point." "Don't mention It in front of the pickler." "What are you whispering about?" "And what's It?" " Ah... well..." " Er..." "It..." "It's a game of hide-and-seek." "You're it." "You count to a thousand while we hide." "A thousand?" "Isn't it usually 20?" "Well, it's such a big house and Jane and I are only girls..." "Oh, fine." "One, two, three..." "I hated saying, "We are only girls. "" " Where are you going?" " Here's a clue." " It rhymes with "hand hairy"." "C YRIL:" "Oh, no." "No way." "We're not going back." "You saw all the trouble that wish got us into." "Oh, look, this must be the pole that's been sticking up Cyril's..." "Back off!" "You can insult me all you like, but..." "Thanks, but I'll save that for later." "I'm going, whether you're coming or not." "Hand hairy...?" "Hand hairy?" "Sand-fairy." "Oh, pendulous expression, furrowed brow - bad news?" " This letter from your publisher." " Yes, yes." "Immaterial." "Impact inconsequential." "They want to make big changes to your book." " They do?" " Yes." "Difficult Sums For Children isn't catchy enough." " Catchy?" " They're suggesting a new title." "Counting The Fun With Charlie Chicken." "They're replacing you with a chicken." " Ridiculous." " Of course it is." "We must write back and tell them." "Give me the name of the chicken and the address of his coop." "No, no, your publishers." "You can't have a counting chicken." "Of course not." "Can't count without fingers." "No use." "Oh, I suppose he could use wings." "No, that's silly." "He'd only get to two." "Unless... er..." "Noah managed two by two." "Gosh, that flood must have been a terrible setback." "Ahh." "Hm-hm." "Smells like rain." "Great change is afoot." "You can sign this one." "It!" "It!" "So, have you come to thank me for yesterday's wish?" " I brought you these." " Ah." "Forget it." "How kind." "That hole doesn't look very comfortable." " Yes, it is." " Would you like to sit next to me?" "Like Flopsy." "He's my rabbit." " You have a rabbit called Flopsy?" " Mm." "Has he got no spine?" "Your ability with naming things is not very good, child." "Oh, here they all come." "Hmm." "Our wish didn't turn out as we expected." "No." "Yes." "Our doubles turned the hall into a swimming pool." "Was anything damaged?" " Damaged?" "It was an absolute mess!" " Huh?" "Plenty." " The vases smashed to smithereens?" " Yes." "The floor flooded, and dictionaries drenched?" "They were." "And the house burnt to the ground?" " No." " House didn't burn to the ground?" "You got off lightly, all things considered." "What?" "Not so fast, Sand-fairy!" "You made those doubles ruin the house on purpose." "Look, it's not me." "It's the rules." "You make a wish, it goes horribly wrong." "And then you learn something valuable." "Hmm?" "That's terrible." "I don't need to learn anything." "Ooh!" "Of course, everything is back to normal by sunset." "Why "of course"?" "Because wishes only last during the daylight." "So that's why our doubles disappeared." " Why didn't you tell us that?" " You didn't ask." " So, can you fix everything we broke?" " Oh, yes." " But they'll be broken again by sunset." " Oh, great." " It's got a point." " Mmm." "So what you learn from this, you see, is..." "Hello." "What do you think?" "Ah, well... very good." "I like er... the use of light and shadow, it's very effective." "The subject is hideous monster, of course." "As the sun here melts, the monster, he is shocked." "His hair's on end and..." "Oh, it's me." "I know." "Let's ask for money." "We can pay to get everything fixed." "Let's not go crazy." "Just enough to cover the breakages." " I think we should ask for gold." "Yes!" " I wish we had buckets of it." "C YRIL:" "Robert!" "So, buckets of gold." "398... 399... 400... 999... 1,000." "Ready or not, here I come!" " I said let's not go crazy." "Oh, shut up." " Hurry up." "C YRIL:" "It's stuck." "Push it harder, Cyril." " Push!" " Push." "Ohh..." "Buckets of the stuff!" "Hello?" "It's Horace." "Oh, no, he mustn't see the gold." "I can hear you." "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" "You can't hide for ever, you know." "Aha!" "I found you!" "I win, I win, I win, I win!" "New game." "You're it." "Oh, come on." "Don't be sore losers." "Er... new rules." "The winner gets a head start." " That's right." " Yes." "OK." "Fine." "Come on!" "Hurry up!" "Anthea, we're going!" "Come on!" "Just wait for us." "Come on, Lamb." "C YRIL:" "Come on." "Keep up." "Are you OK with Lamb, Anthea?" " Have you got the list?" " Yes, Cyril." "Good." "When we get into town, we're going to the antique shop." "Yes, Cyril." " We'll go straight in and straight out." "Yes, Cyril." " We won't get distracted by anything." " Got it?" "Yes, Cyril." "Thank you." "Come on." "We're here to buy vases, not ice creams." "Let's buy the vase." " Five cones with all the trimmings." " Robert!" " Keep the change." " What's a child doing with all this gold?" " It must be fake." " No, it's not, is it?" " We made a wish..." " We didn't, Jane." "Old Blighty!" "Old Blighty!" "No, he's taking back the vase." " It was just like the one that broke." " He doesn't want to take the gold." "Wha...?" "Not again." "Not..." "Your country needs you!" "Dad!" "Dad!" "Sorry, lad." " I thought..." " It's OK." "It's all right." "You know what we need?" "To fill our faces." "What do you say?" "But the ice-cream man..." "He didn't want our money." "Neither did the man in the antique shop." "There must be someone willing to take a heap of gold, no questions asked." " Look at that one." " It's nice, isn't it?" "Cyril!" "He's trying to say something." "Cyril?" "It's the car- something to do with the car." "C YRIL:" "That's not a car." "That is the Portman Speedster 3000." "According to Motorcar Monthly, the 3000 is the fastest production motor of all time." "We're talking eight horsepower." "If it's so wonderful, why don't you just buy it?" " Yeah, buy the car, Cyril!" " Buy the car!" " No." " Buy the car!" "Come on!" "Stop it!" "Don't step on my floor." "I need to speak to my father." "Get out of my way." "Oh, well, it must be very important if you want to disturb him at work." "It's about those children." "Oh, really?" "And what children would you mean?" "My cousins." "Broom-broom." "CyriI, this one goes 80mph." "Dad would love this." "Get off, get off, get off!" " We were just..." " Shh." "I beg your pardon!" "Eh?" "We would like to buy a motorcar." " That one over there." " Of course, sir." "And perhaps sir would like to take the aforementioned automobile for a test drive." " Great idea." " Just a small matter of a deposit..." " .. in case of misadventure." " Ours are always misadventures." "I daresay." "This enough?" "Yes." " I didn't know Cyril could drive." " He can't." "Come on!" "On the left!" " Look out!" " Whoa!" "I can't see!" "Help!" "Stop this car!" "Stop!" "Ahh!" "Oh..." " Thanks for the test drive." "But I don't think he likes it." " Wait..." "C YRIL:" "Quick." "Halt!" " You'll pay for this, you little..." " Good afternoon." "Sergeant..." "Just the man." "These hooligans have wrecked my motorcar." " This one here was driving like a..." " A child?" "Behind the wheel of your motorcar?" "Eh?" "Er..." "Children..." "Well, this one here, he swore he was 27." "He's got a wife and three kids in Winchester." "But I'm 11!" "Yeah, yeah, you and your gold!" "Nice lot you are." "Tempting honest car dealers with your stolen gold." "That's enough." "These children are with me." "Oh, an accomplice, I'll wager." "I don't think they're going to wriggle out of this one." "Allow me." "Gone!" "Come along, Mr Peasemarsh." "It's gone!" "I'm sure there's a good explanation for this but we'll have to go down..." "I was going to be a policeman." "Never had the feet." "Horace, I trust this isn't a prank." "I'm in the middle of chapter 12" "The Joy Of Quadratic Equations." "I'm at the good bit." "No, it's true." "The children, the gold and the greenhouse." "I have them." "Will they be sentenced to 20 years hard labour?" " What the...?" " But..." "Ah!" "Convicts on the loose." "Alert the authorities!" "Unusual hour." "Nocturnal excursion... dishevelled youngsters..." "Ripe odour." "Odd situation." "Martha, explain." "We were taking the dog for a walk." " Isn't that right, children?" " Yes, Martha." "Ah, the howl of the hounds!" "Running with the pack of an autumn morning, eh?" "Fresh air, waggedy tails, eh?" "Bow-wow-wow." "How much is that doggie in the um...?" " But we don't have a dog." " Use your imagination, Horace." "The gold." "Ah, the gold coins." "Nobody move." "Horace..." "Horace!" "You're becoming eccentric." "Come along, children." "You may be able to fool my father, but I've enough proof to send you to prison." "For the rest of your lives." "Phew." "What a day it's been." " It could've been worse." " Worse?" "How?" "You keep getting us into trouble." "Stop picking on me." "Besides, it didn't take long to get you behind the wheel." "Why do you have to be such a pain?" "Why do you have to boss everyone about?" "You think you're grown-up but you're not." "Stop it!" "Don't fight." "Please." "I was put in charge." " It doesn't mean I have to listen to you." " Yes, it does!" " No, it doesn't!" " Yes, it does!" "You're not Dad." "Hello?" "Well, well, well, well, well now." "What's all this commotion?" "So many sad faces." "Well, I may have something that might cheer you up." "A little bit of magic." "No more magic, please." "Abra Chihuahua!" "Let me see." "Let me see." " It's addressed to all of us!" " I recognise the writing." "It's Dad's." "Open it, Cyril." "Go on, you have to." "In all the kerfuffle, I almost forgot." ""My darling children," "I hope you are all happy, healthy, and up to plenty of mischief and soaking up all the joys of the country. "" "He's got the soaking part right." "Sh." ""Jane, I hope you are enjoying your violin." "However hard it is to learn now, it's something you'll be glad of one day." "Anthea, I'm thoroughly enjoying the novel you hid in my luggage." "The Plummeting Pilot Of Poslewait." "All the boys in the squadron are lining up to borrow it." "And, Robert... the Sopwith's a bit tricky in the air, but she's a beauty." "I wish I could fly over to see you." "Let's all hope it won't be long." "And, Cyril... these are difficult days for us all." "But I know I can count on you." "Whatever happens, you must stand by one another." "Now, give the Lamb a big kiss from me." "I'd better grab some shuteye as I am on dawn patrol." "All my love always," "Dad. "" "Read it again, Cyril." "Martha?" "Unexpected guest just arrived." "On a flying visit, I suppose." "I didn't know about this." "A guest, sir?" "Yes." "Professor Charles Chicken, University of Eggsford." "I was at Eggsford." "I don't remember a Chicken." "It's from your publisher." "They propose giving away one free puppet with every book." "One free with every book?" " Ridiculous." "That'll never catch on." " That's what I said." "Chicken!" "Huh!" "C YRIL:" "Today's a new day, a fresh start." "Are we making another wish?" "Not a chance." "What?" "Cyril and I have been discussing it, and we've agreed from now on, we leave the Sand-fairy alone." "But I drew it another picture." "Look." "We can't leave it alone." "Think of all the wishes we'd be giving up." "No more wishes." "It's over." "Promise me, Robert." "Please." "All right." "All right, I promise." "So what do we do instead?" "We'll make friends with Horace." " Why?" " Why not?" "Because he's so nasty." "Excellent!" "Who's there?" "C YRIL:" "Hello, Horace." "GIRLS:" "Hello." "Oh, it's you lot." "C YRIL:" "We've come to see if you'd like to play with us." "So you can have another game of hide-and-seek and run off?" "We're sorry about that." "So what do you say?" "How about we make a picnic and go down to the sea?" "Oh, I wish I could." "I really, really do." "The truth is..." " I don't like you." " But we want to be your friends." "I don't need friends." "But I do need test subjects for my experiments." "Eugh!" "Horace, don't be silly." " Put that down." "Put that down." " Make me." "Horace, put those down." "Quick!" "This is going well." "Do you think he's our friend yet?" "I don't know." "I know you've got a secret, and when I catch you, I'll get it." "Oh, what's going on here?" "Just playing with the other children, Martha." "That's good." "Good boy, Horace." "Carry on." "Up here, quick!" "Brilliant." "C YRIL:" "Think we're OK?" "Yes." "You do, do you?" "If you don't let me in on your little secret," "I won't let you out." "We're trapped." "No, we can't be." "I wonder what happened to Robert." "I need a longer pin." "I might have something." "What about this?" "Here." "Great." "Oh, my gosh!" "I've got wings!" "So soft." "So white." "Wow!" " The little..." " What?" "He must have made a wish." "The boy is out of control." "I don't know how I'll cope." "What am I going to tell Mum?" "Look at you!" "CyriI!" "Cyril!" "Cyril!" "You've done it again!" "What on earth were you thinking?" "I'm going to France to see Dad." "France?" "He wished he could fly to see us, well, he can't." "But we can fly to him." "Come on!" "Robert, no!" "This way." "Just try and catch me!" "Anthea, wait!" "Please, wait for me!" " Come on, Jane." " Anthea, wait for me!" "Huh." "Robert!" "This is amazing!" "Let's get Robert." "Look!" "Aargh!" ".. wieso wir gehört haben." "Let's get going!" "Wait for me!" "Wait for me!" "No!" "Much against my better nature, I have decided to let you... out." "Yoo-hoo!" "Children!" "Where are you, dears?" "Ah, Horace." "Have you seen your cousins?" "No." "The only rational conclusion is, they flew out the window." "C YRIL:" "What were you thinking?" " We could have been killed!" " I want to see Dad!" "France is just a few miles that way." "Too dangerous!" "And too late." "We have to get back." "Now!" " I'm going down." " No, you're not." "Keep up with me." "Come in, all of you." "Here you are, Robert." "There you are." "Good heavens." "Look at the state of you." "Filthy." "I think I landed on Uncle's roses." "He's going to be so angry." "Come here, children." "Come here." "Now, I'm sure that all will be well." "Er... we must hope... we must believe..." "Mummy!" " I can't believe you're here!" " Mum!" " I didn't know you were coming." " Mummy." " Did you get our letter?" " Yes, I did, precious." "Something's wrong." " It's your father." " He's here?" "No, Robert, he's not." "His plane went down behind enemy lines." "Several days ago." "He's missing." "No." "It's not true." "Where is it?" "I've got it right here!" "Robert?" " It's gone!" " What have you lost?" "The compass." "I left it in my drawer but it's not here." "It'll turn up." "Come here." "You don't have to worry." "Dad's all right." " Yes." " No, really." "He isn't missing." "He can't be." "He must be on a secret mission behind enemy lines." "It's all right to be upset." "I'm not upset." "I have to go now." "We have to help Dad." "Look, I know..." "I know you want to." "But we just have to wait for news." "Wait?" " Yeah, I'm sure everything..." " Wait?" "Robert, I..." "Please be here." "Please, Sand-fairy." "Please." "Why have you woken me?" "I lost something." "Well, did you, indeed?" "Something precious?" "And you think I can help you to find it?" "With a wish." "Well, of course." " I wish..." " No, stop." "You've had all your wishes today." "I gave you all wings." "That's not easy to do, you know." "Wings is a big job." "You might show some gratitude." "I'm very grateful." "But, Sand-fairy..." "I do need this wish." "Well, all right, I can grant your wish." "But when dawn comes, not before." " But you'll do it?" " Yes." "But, child, what then?" "The wish will fade at sunset, you know." " Maybe this wish won't fade." " But you know it will." "What's the point in wishes that don't last?" "Magic... fades." "That's its nature." "It can show you the way, but in the end, it's up to you." "As the years go on, your moments of magic will become less and less." "And before you know it... .. you too will have forgotten." "Forgotten all this." "Forgotten me." "And the magic... will have faded." "I won't." "I'll never forget." "We shall see." "Now... go to your bed and let me go to mine." "You're not going." "Have you turned to stone?" "Do you think he's looking up at the same sky?" "IT:" "Well..." "I expect so, unless he's been whisked to a different galaxy." "Which I am sure he has not." "Very tricky, that." "Galaxy's a big job." "Could you move over a bit?" "Hey." "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "Get off me." "Tomorrow will come quicker if I stay with you tonight." "No, it won't." "It comes at a very similar speed." " No matter where, you can't..." " Good night." "You'd better not snore." "Terrific." "I hope you appreciate this." "Hm." "It's morning, Sand-fairy." "I can make my wish." "Sand-fairy?" "Sand-fairy!" "Sand-fairy!" "I knew it!" "It had to be you!" "Robert." "Just in time for the dissection." "How did you find out about the Sand-fairy?" "Thanks to you." "Last night when you went to the greenhouse, I followed you." "For years I've wondered why I was never allowed in." "Now I know." "I'm not sure if this Sand-fairy is a crustacean or decapod or..." "Let It go." "I need it to grant me my wish." " Wish?" "What are you talking about?" " I'm a Sand-fairy!" "There's a tiny clue in the name." " It can talk." " You should hear me sing." "Call it extra insurance." "I, Charles Chicken..." " Ahem." " Ah." " Tea?" " Yes, thank you." "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." "No, no." "May I present my colleague Professor Charles Chicken," "MA, BSc, EGG?" "Not a lot going on behind that beak." "I wonder where the wishes come from." "Is it a gland?" "Perhaps there's something about its brain." "Oh, hello." "Good afternoon." " Maybe I'll slice it down the middle." " No!" "I recognised you, Horace." "You're not like other children." " I should hope not." " No... like a crazy kid experimenting on things in the basement." " That is you." " Enough!" "It is time." "Wait, if you slice it open it can't give you a wish." "Are you suggesting I not perform a proper exploratory dissection?" "Yes, I am for that idea." "Let's have a vote, shall we?" "All in favour of the non-slicing open approach say aye." "Aye!" "Surely the best way to find out where wishes come from is to ask for one." "What could possibly go wrong?" "Surprisingly good thinking, Robert." "Then we can study the wish under strict laboratory conditions." "But... what to wish for?" "What a delicious monster collection you have." "Now I have you to complete it." "Oh, no." "As fine a prize as I am, you are yet missing one vital beast." "Nice egg." "Tyrannosaurus, if I'm not mistaken." "Just make one..." "little... wish." "Come on, Horace." " You know you want to." " OK." "I wish for the egg to hatch." "That's rubbish." "I know you don't trust the Sand-fairy..." " Cyril, come quick!" " Where have you been?" " Sand-fairy." " But that's where we're going." "No, you can't." "He isn't there." "What are you talking about?" "You've been to It already, haven't you?" " No..." " You've wasted the wish." " I was trying to help." " What have you done?" "I was doing it for Dad." "But Horace followed me." " I had to, because you don't care!" " What do you mean?" "You idiot." "Of course I care!" "We all care." "But you..." "You had to ruin everything as usual!" "You're the one who doesn't care, Robert!" "Leave him!" "That's what he wants." "You've ruined everything." "Don't go." "Please." "It's not too late." "I've been trying to tell you." "It's in the basement." "Here we go, Horace." "I promised you a dinosaur." "And you shall get what you deserve." "This... is Gerald." "He dribbles a bit because he's only two." "Come in, children, come in." "It's all right." "He's only interested in Horace." "Do something." "IT:" "This is an example of what we in the wish game call a bad wish." "Very bad, even badder than the bad ones." "Sand-fairy, make the wish stop." "Ah, just let it gobble him up." "He's hungry!" "The kid's delicious." "He's a goner." " Did you hear that frightful noise?" " Sorry." "Probably my gippy tummy." "I know what to do." "Jane?" "¶ Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" "Music soothes the savage beast." "I read it in one of your books." "I take it all back." " She's wonderful." "C YRIL:" "Yes, keep it up, Jane." "Fantastic." "Raa-aargh!" "Oh, no." "I take back all I just took back." "Someone tell her to shut up!" "It's killing me!" "IT:" "I feel a..." "little light-headed now." "IT:" "Hyperventilating." " Horace!" "IT:" "Thank God that's over." "IT:" "Hello?" "What's wrong with him?" "Get him to Mum, quick." "She'll know what to do." "I'll take him." "Anthea, you make the wish." " Sand-fairy." " .. kid with the..." "Hello." " Is that you, Mother?" " It's OK." "Come to do my nails?" "Just a light buffing, thank you." "C YRIL:" "He's out of his head." "It's made him too weak." "We have to get him back to the beach quickly." "IT:.. maybe just a monkey with a wrench." " I know how to save Dad." " We have to wish." "It's not enough." "Trust me." "After what you've put us through?" "All the wishes, it's been all about you." "Not any more." "IT:.. used to be one during the war." " All right, then." "You lot head to the beach." "I'll take Horace to Mum." "Come on, Horace." "You'll never make a dance troupe." "Hello." "Are you the three wise monkeys?" "I'm Captain Spiky." "Wait." "You're right." "I have wasted the wishes." "You all go and see Dad and I'll take Horace." "But you've got to make sure Dad gets his compass." "IT:" "Hello, sir." "So he'll know where to find us." "Come on, Horace." "I've got you, Sand-fairy." "Hello." "You're my favourite one of the bunch, you know." "I've got you too." "Well, you're my favourite one of the bunch, too." "And you're very tall." "Come on." "Just burp me once." "Steady." "Gently does it." "That's it." "C YRIL:" "There you are." "IT:" "Ah..." "IT:" "That was awful!" "That's better." "There's no place like a mobile home." "Are you strong enough to grant us our wish now?" "Sorry, but that mad scientist cousin of yours has made the wish for today." "You're going to have to wait till tomorrow, which is my birthday, actually, as a matter of fact." "I'll be 22." "We can't wait till tomorrow." "It might be too late." "IT:" "Really?" "All right." "Well, maybe I've got something down here that could help." "This is a big book of wishes." "This should help." "OK." "Ah, here we go." "Genius wishes, instant wishes, interminable wishes, intellectual wishes, interruptive wishes." "This looks promising." "Ah, yes." "Addendum C, regula Vll." "".. it being wholly inappropriate to reinstate full wish-giving status subject to all parties being of sound mind and limb. "" "Ah, there you are." "And where exactly is that?" "I think it means you haven't had a whole day's wish, contractually speaking." "Therefore you do have some wish allowance left over." "Oh, thank you." "Oh, er... hm." "You'd better be quick about it." "Hm?" "OK, Sand-fairy." "We wish for our dad to come home safely." "And that's all." "Well, if you're sure that's what you want..." "Holding hands." "Nice touch." "There!" "Look!" "I think it's Dad!" "Come on, quick!" " Come on, Anthea." " Come on!" "Dad!" "Daddy!" " Daddy!" " Cyril!" "We thought you were lost." "Oh..." "What's happening?" "I don't understand, how did I get here?" " Oh..." " The Sand-fairy." "We made a wish, Daddy." "Has she been reading one of your novels?" "She won't sleep now." "Where's Robert?" "He's in shock but he'll be OK." "You did the right thing bringing him to me." "Now... what happened?" "I still don't believe I'm here." "Wait till your mother finds out." "She doesn't know about this place." " No-one does except us." " All right." "We'll surprise her and Robert later." "There..." "There isn't going to be a later." "We haven't much time." "Only until the sun sets." "I want this wish to last for ever." "Please, Daddy, I want you to stay." "It's Robert's idea." "Dad!" "Dad!" "Ssh." "How is he?" "Martha's been up with him all night." "I told her to take a rest." "I don't know what's wrong with him." "He just keeps muttering about monsters and sand fairies." "Maybe you should have a rest, too." "We'll look after Horace." "For a bit." " Well, if you're sure." "I am quite tired." " OK." "Mum?" "Dad's OK." "I know it." "Horace, can you hear?" "Horace!" " Robert!" " He's up now." "Here, have some." " What is it?" " It's medicine." "It's very good for you." "I made it myself." "Perhaps not, Jane." "We need to talk." "Yes." "About the dinosaur." "And the wish." "And It." "It was all real." "It wasn't a dream." " Yes, and it has to be our secret." " But the world must know." "The world doesn't have to." "Yes... we can write a classified report." "Bury it in red tape for 40 years and deny everything." "I like it." "Or we could just keep it to ourselves." "I've never had a secret to share with anyone before." "Well, now you have us." "Allow me, my dear." "Ah." "Familiar face." "Stout fellow." "Mr Bialli, butcher... er, baker..." "er candlestick maker." "I heard about, well, you know..." "Poor children." "I thought these might cheer them up." " Very kind indeed." " Here you are." " One each." " Thank you." "The papers say it's safe to go back to London." "Apparently a fleet of Zeppelins were turned back." "The pilot said he saw angels." "So, I think it's time we went home." "Are you in there?" "IT:" "Hey!" "Hey, turn that light out!" " Where is he?" " Don't you know there's a war on?" "Hello!" "He's been to the hairdresser's!" "Well, so it's you again." "What's he doing here?" "I'm really sorry for trying to cut you into little pieces." "Oh, well, never mind." "It was fun." "Apology accepted." " Have one of these." " I suppose you want today's wish." " No." " No..." "No, we don't." " You don't want a wish?" " No." "I've never heard such a thing." "Surely I can tempt you with one teeny, little, baby wish?" "We've decided not to make any more of them." "That's the most sensible thing I've heard in 8,311 years." "We've come to say goodbye." "We're going home." "Going home?" "We've just started to have fun." "I made you this." "It's a birthday card." " How did you know?" " You told us." " Oh, yes." " Here you are, Robert." "Don't get many cards these days." "You know how it is, after your 6,523rd birthday," " you just stop counting." " You don't look that old." "No, I drink a lot of moisturiser." "And you can't have a birthday without a present." "Brown paper - my favourite!" " You'll have to unwrap it." " Yes er..." "I knew that." "Ah!" "Er..." "It's..." "He's called Brian." "He's to keep you company." "C YRIL:" "Now for the best bit." "IT:" "Hello, Brian." "Brian?" "Hello, Brian." "Not very chatty, is he?" "¶ Happy birthday to you" "¶ Happy birthday to you" "You have to blow them out." "¶ Happy birthday..." " And make a wish." ".. Psammead Crustacea Anostraca Decopodlium" "Anthropodlious Wishasaurus... ¶ Happy birthday to you" "¶ 8,311 today!" "Well, that was the best birthday I have ever, ever had..." "Come on, you lot." "It's time to leave." ".. except when I was 15, and I was given a yak." "Come on, Horace." "Look, I would help to clean up, you know, but..." "I've got a bad leg." "Goodbye, I'm going to really miss you." "I will miss you too, child." "Hang on, you're not... you're not going, going, going are you?" "What... all?" "You could come with us." "Cyril and I would move in with the Lamb." "We'd fill our room with sand for you." "You'd do that for me?" "That's very kind of you, child, but..." "I understand." "Goodbye, child." "Bye." "Sand-fairy, when you blew out your candles, what did you wish for?" "Me, make a wish?" "You must be joking!" " Goodbye." "Let's go." " Come on." "C YRIL:" "We'll miss you." " Bye." " Horace..." "Bye, Sand-fairy." "Goodbye, Sand-fairy." "Come on, Jane!" "It won't start." "It could be water on the carburettor or a sandwich." "There were suspicious crumbs round the crank handle." "Not to worry, I've got a book here somewhere." "Excuse me." "Or did I eat it?" "The sandwich, not the book, although I have devoured many a book over the last few years." "This isn't helping things, is it?" "Does this mean we're staying?" "I just want to go home." "We'll be home soon." "I'm sure your uncle will fix the problem." "In the meantime... best stand behind something flame resistant." "I know, let's play a game." "How about hide-and-seek?" " I've had a lot of practice." " All right, Horace, hide-and-seek." " I'll be it." "C YRIL:" "Good, good." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven," "12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18," "19... 20." "Dad!" "Robert..." " Dad!" "Daddy!" " Dad." " Dad." "Robert." "Thank you." "Dear Sand-fairy," "I've been thinking about what you said to me that night." "That magic fades because people forget." "I want you to know that I won't forget." "I won't forget tomorrow or the next month, or the next year." "And one day when I'm grown-up and have children of my own," "I'll tell them the story." "An amazing story... .. about one summer and a secret beach... and wishes and gold coins, and magic wings, and five children and It." "IT:" "All right." "Don't worry." "We'll see them again... in Episode Two, called It And Five Children." ""It Comes Back" - front of title, above title." "It in It - this time with a speedboat." "If I make a little adjustment to the top," "I can get a speedboat out of this thing." "Bzzzz!" "That's my electric toothbrush." "IT:" "Well, Brian... you look very familiar." "Have I met you before?" "Well, come in here." "Come over here." "Sit down here, Brian." "Sit... just sit down, Brian." "You don't bend in the middle." "Do you like fish?" "Because there's going to be a lot of fish here in about two hours." "Well, this is my house." "And er..." "Brian, don't do that." "It's a children's movie." "This is the kitchen here." "We're going to knock this bit down." "This is your bedroom." "Come in here." "¶ I can feel it" "¶ Hey, where did you go?" "¶ You left us alone" "¶ I followed the crowds to find you" "¶ Now we're beneath the same blue sky" "¶ Do you believe as much as I do?" "¶ Do you hear me when I break down?" "¶ Cos you know this isn't the end" "¶ One day, we'll meet again" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ Hey, look what you've done" "¶ Spoilt all the fun" "¶ It wasn't supposed to be this way" "¶ Didn't I tell you to be careful what you wish?" "¶ It may come true" "¶ Do you see it's a long way down?" "¶ But I know this isn't the end" "¶ One day, we'll meet again" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ Do you hear me when I break down?" "¶ Cos I know this isn't the end" "¶ One day, we'll meet again" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ Hey, where did you go?" "¶ You left us alone" "¶ I followed the crowds to find you" "¶ Now we're beneath the same blue sky" "¶ Do you believe as much as I do?" "¶ Do you hear me when I break down?" "¶ Cos you know this isn't the end" "¶ One day, we'll meet again" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ I can feel it" "¶ I can feel it" "IT:" "Wishasaurus mugs are available in the foyer of all good cinemas." "Thank you."