"guys this is roliek george!" "im really sad to say this that i've only covered 49 minutes as it takes a lot of time, those who want me to complete this can comment, i can do it.... hello ya" "what?" "sir kindly switch off your mobile phone just one sec one sec please!" "excuse me!" "sir please sit down!" "captain ther is a medical emergency a passenger has just fallen down on the idle delhi air india 11 returning to medical emergency" "sir excuse me sir excuse me sir" "one minute!" "im alright now thank you!" "all go now i'll go now gentlemen wait!" "get the vehicle are you Mr.dullon why?" "should i tatoo my name here?" "take out the vehicle fast!" "ok sir!" "come sir should go to hotel right sir?" "ya ya we'll go hotel but through vasant vihar.. take me ther" "put some load on accelerator kaake!" "ya farhan tell me you come out fast im reaching ur place in 5 min what happened dude?" "chathur had called remember him?" "who "silencer"?" "ya ya he's tellin rancho is comin" "what u're sayin?" "hanh he's tellin if wanna meet rancho come to campus at 8, on the tank oh s***** hey u come out fast ya ok ok" "sruthi i'll be back in sometime hey i got my friend back" "what?" "hey i'll come back n speak to u!" "atleast wear pants n go!" "now can we go to hotel sir?" "we'll go to hotel kaake but only after goin to "imperial college of engineering"" "ok sir!" "forgot to take socks dude!" "u talkin about socks?" "hey look down even pants u forgot!" "oooooooo" "sir now u can go to hotel!" "but only after goin to airport because my sir is comin there take him to hotel!" "same sur name "dullon"" "im dullon!" "where the hell had u sent taxi?" "is it on runway?" "oye rancho hey chathur where is rancho?" "rancho where is rancho?" "welcome idiots" "wanna drink madiera(RUM) this is that rum you all used to drink here?" "have a drink hey where is rancho?" "i'll tell u first u watch this" "not my wife..." "look at the bangla behind idiots 3.5 million swiming pool heated!" "living room maple wood flooring my new lamborghini 6496cc sssss very fast hey why u showing all these to us?" "forgot?" "what is this?" "5 sept.... todays date or wat?" "come bet... after 10 years will come back n we'll see who is more successful?" "have dareness?" "will u come will u come?" "remember something now?" "here only i kept bet with that idiot i kept my promise im back he he stupid i left my flight n came he left his pant n came just to meet rancho from five years we're searchin for him dont know he's dead or alive or wat do u think?" "will he come for this stupid bet he wont come i know he wont come he he eh what?" "will u break his teeth or ill only do it....." "one min farhan one min then why did u invited us here?" "to meet rancho come n see where he stayed back n where i reached!" "means tat u know where is rancho?" "aah?" "yes where is rancho?" "he is in shimla!" "rancho!" "ranchhodas shamaldas chanchad [NAME] how different his name was?" "that same different thoughts since childhood we heard that life is like a race...." "if u dont run fast others will overtake u... damn!" "to take birth... had to race among 300 million sp****s he he eh" "1978 i born at 5.15am n at 5.16am my dad told" "My son will become enggineer!" "farhan quresi b.tech enggineer and my fate was sealed!" "what i wanted to become?" "nobody asked me though?" "#.......................#" "raju rastogi ranchhoddas chanchad tell me ur room number!" "D26 follow me im manmohan" "M.M all these enginneers call me milli meter milk, egg, bread, wash clothes, iron clothes, copy assignment let it be any work tell me!" "fixed rate no bargain!" "one min one min hold this hold..... this is kilo byte this is mega byte n this is his mother giga byte take their pictures... this family does'nt byte [bite]" "[raju praying] here comes one more big believer!" "hi farhan qureshi...im raju rastogi" "dont worry after someday u stay here... ur belief in god will vanish eventually only naked girls poster sticked by your side.. n u'll say oh god get me once!" "hey get out of here!" "out out give 4 rupees 2 rupees per bag" "here 5 rupees... keep change wow sir u gave me tip even i'll give u a tip today night.... wear underwear which doesnt have hole!" "why?" "aaahh this is he-man,he-man take this... ooohhhoo white white white we were humiliated, hands saluting, heads down pleasingly, when we saw rancho for the first time!" "namaste sir!" "remove ur pants n get sealed!" "whats ur name?" "tell ranchhodas shamaldas chanchad!" "huuii hhehehhee listen brothers learn by-heart!" "by final year u'll learn!" "hmmm remove ur pants.... remove pant oooh so u wont listen like this hanh?" "dont wear wet pant kid?" "come remove now!" "aal iz well aal iz well.............[ranchod baba mantra lol] what is he tellin?" "someone make him understand!" "hey james bond make him understand!" "hmm take off ur pants of they're gonna piss on u oye english!" "feeling shy to speak in hindi hanh?" "sorry sir i was born in uganda, n studied in pondicherry!" "so little slow in hindi!" "so slowly make him understand!" "who is in a hurry here?" "worn again hanh?" "[in pure hindi!" "laughing stock] take off ur pants or they gonna piss on u... he is tellin piss as muthravisarjan?" "hahahha ooo here come pandit learning enggneering" "hey come out u stupid come out" "come out or else ill piss on ur door!" "ill count 10 if u dont come out ill piss on ur door for the whole semester" "1" "2" "3" "4" "5" "6" "7" "8" "9" "10" "salt water is a great conductor of electricity 8th standard physics we all studied it!" "he applied it!" "ICE's director's name was Dr.viru shastrabhuddi but every one calls him virus all called him computer virus!" "oye virus is comin..carrying eggs with him he has told first years to come down come fast fast virus was the most competetive man we had ever seen if someone overtakes him even one step......... never used to give up!" "to save time he used welco instead of buttons and a hook in tie!" "he has trained his mind that he can write using both his hands at the same time" "everyday at 2 he used to take his "power" nap!" "and listen to his opera!" "govind had to do all unproductive works like shaving, cutting nails in this 7 min" "what is this?" "sir nest!" "whose?" "koyal bird's nest koyal bird never builds their nest.." "they lay their eggs on other birds nest and when their babies come to the world, what do they do first?" "they kick out other eggs from the nest... competition over" "the life begins with murder thats nature... compete or die!" "you all so are like the koyal birds" "and these are those eggs whom u kicked out and reached ICE dont forget because every year, 4 lakh applications comes to ICE among them only 200 will be selected you and these finished broken eggs!" "my own son applied for 3 years rejected everytime" "remember life is risk if u dont run fast someone will beat u n move faster than u... let me tell u very interesting story" "this is an astraunauts pen in space, foundain pen, ball pen cannot be used" "after spending lakhs scientists invented this pen from this u can write in any angle, any temperature, zero gravity one day when i was a student the director of our institute called me he said "viru shastrabhuddi." i said "yes sir"" "come here!" "i got scared showed me this pen he said this is a symbol of excellence i give it to u and the day when u get a extraordinary student like u pass this pen to him from 32 year viru shastrabhuddi is waiting for the next viru shastrabhuddi" "any one here in this batch to honour this pen?" "good hands down" "should i write in the notice board i said put down your hands sir i have a question sir... sir if in space foudain pen ball pen cannot be used why astranaut didn't tried pencil in space sir?" "could've saved lakh dollars..... i will get back to you on this" "that fellow in night kicks seniors and in day irritating director, im telling u if we stay with him..." "he will put us in trouble buddy, u though screwed virus completely u're great" "get lost, dont u've school?" "who'll pay fees?" "yout father?" "u callin my father?" "hey stop stop raju wat u doin?" "eh listen!" "no fees required for schooling!" "uniform is required, uniform... whichever school u like go, get the uniform of that school.." "go sit in the class..... who'll come to know when there is a huge population?" "if i get caught?" "if they catch u, then uniform change, school change!" "ehhe there was really something special about him, he always used to challenge everything in the world.. each n every move.... he was the only one free bird in VIRUS's nest... we all were just robots operated by proffesors remote control... but he was the only one.." "perhaps not a machine!" "why are you smiling?" "um.. actually sir from my childhood i used to dream of studying in an engineering college today im sitting over here, feeling excited sir!" "no need to be so overexcited..." "tell.. tell me the definition for machine um.." "sir machine is anything that reduces human effort sir will you please elaborate...?" "sir um... all those things which makes the work for humans easier are machines sir feeling hot!" "pressed button, wind blowing, FAN is a machine sir!" "u can talk to your friend miles away.." "TELEPHONE is machine sir!" "calculate crores in less time..." "CALCULATOR is a machine sir sir actually we are dependent in the world for machine sir from PEN NIB to PANTS ZIB... all machines sir!" "one sec up one sec down, up down up down up tell me the definition?" "sir thats wat im tellin sir.." "will you write all these in examz hanh?" ""this is machine up down up down up"?" "IDIOT!" "anybody else?" ")*#^*#*(%#(*#" ")*%*#%*(#*%#" "$(^($*%#*%#" "*(^%%%$^**^%$%* he he eh bla bla bla bla" "*(#*%(*#%%#" "!" "wow great!" "great please sit down!" "but sir even i told the same in simple language..... if you like simple language.." "u can go join some other arts n commerce college but sir.. we should understand it atleast like this way mugging up from book, what the use sir?" "oh you know more than books?" "books has the same definition..." "and if u wanna pass, u'll write this itself.... but sir, ther are other books also get out!" "ooh why?" "in simple language... please go outside..." "IDIOT!" "so we were discussing about the machines hey why you came back?" "i forgot somethin sir!" "what?" "instrument and record, analyse, summarize, organize, debate and explained information that are elastative and non-elastative hard bound paper bag jacketed non-jacketed with forward introduction, table of cotents index that are intented for the enlightment understanding enhancement and education human brains of sense in root of vision sometimes does!" "what you wish to say?" "books sir books!" "i forgot books sir can i take it?" "could'nt you say in simple way?" "i tried sometime before, but u dint like it in simple way sir.... proffessors used to keep rancho outside more often than in classroom if he get kicked from one class, he'll go sit in another classroom" "rancho used to say that knowledge is increasing everywhere.......where ever you get... gain it!" "he was entirely different from all of us we used to fight for bathroom but where ever rancho gets water he takes bath ther itself... he was so into machines.... used to carry screwdriver in his pocket where ever he goes" "let it be any machine he finds, he opens it, some get closed back some does not... one more fellow was ther same like rancho" "joy lobo sir excuse me sir mr.joy lobo sir if u mind lettting me know abt the convocations dates... why?" "actually dad wanted to reserve my ticket im the first engineer from my village sir wanted to become completely into relative communications in that case call make a phone call to your dad son please please dont waste my time hurry" "hello dad director sir will speak to you joy mr.lobo your son wont get graduated this year what happened sir?" "he has violated all the deadlines with unrealistic mr lobo mr lobo unrealistic project it is i had told already he making some non-sense helicopter so i recommend you not to reserve his ticket, im so sorry" "sir im just close is your project ready?" "is your project ready?" "sir atleast take a look at this once sir please do submit it i'll take into consideration sir give me some extension sir why why should i give you an extension?" "sir after dads stroke i couldnt concentrate for 2 months sir please did you leave having food and water for 2 months?" "no did you leave taking bath?" "no?" "then why did you left studies?" "sir im very close sir pls take a look at this sir please.." "mr.lobo my son died falling from train on sunday afternoon monday morning virushastrabhuddi gave lecture in this college so dont tell me that non-sense" "i can only give you sympathy not extension si...r" "how cool design he made?" "wireless camera over helicopter?" "traffic updates security... can be used for all but VIRUS was tellin this is an impractical design..." "wont fly it seems?" "how it wont fly?" "ill make it fly!" "hm hm hey dont tell joy will give him surprise we'll make this fly out his window and record his reaction if we do his project, who'll do ours?" "test, viva, assessment included, 42 examz are ther hey you worry a lot dude take this hand and keep it in your hand and say, aal iz well aal iz well all is well aal iz well" "now he has brought something new our BABA ranchhodas!" "hey in our village there was someone..." "he used to yell n say aal iz well and we used to sleep tight one night there was a robbery in the village, then we came to know he's blind and he yells aal iz well aal iz well" "and we used to sleep like fools... but that day we came to know about the real fact see our heart right, is a big coward... keep our heart as a fool if you have any big problem in life" "tell our heart no problem baby everything is ok aal iz well aal iz well hm so that will solve problem ?" "hanh?" "no but still it gains the dareness to survive remember this mantra... this is gonna become more useful over here" "got it got it yeah" "take it to joys window hey joy, up up ooye window... see silencer naked naked heheh ehhe hey joy come out joy" "hey joy look outside.." "joy.... #... give me some sunshine.. give me some rain...#" "#... give me another chance i wanna grow up once again.....# you've a good news sir.." "neither police didnt come to know.." "nor joys dad.... everyone will think its a suicide, sir" "reason for death in postmortem report intense pressure in wind pipe resulting in choking" "this fool believed tat died because of the pressure held here... and from last 4 years of pressure over here?" "wat about that?" "even thats not in the report also sir, these engineers are so back minded sir didnt even invent some machine, that could really behold the pressure over here... if they had does, could've come to know this is not a suicide, its a murder," "are you blaming me for the suicide of joy?" "if one student cant tolerate pressure why im i the one responsible?" "so many pressure will come in life... then everytime will you blame other for that?" "sir im not blaming you sir actually im blaming the system sir i've got some statistics sir in suicides india is no:1 sir every 1 half hour one of the other students attempt suicide, sir" "student die less in sickness and more in suicide here sir something is going wrong rightt sir?" "i cant tell about other colleges but this is one of the finest college in the country im running this college from 32 years i brought this college to no:1 from 28th position sir wat no:1 sir ?" "here we dont've any talks related to new ideas,no talks on inventions only great talk on only marks, or else job in USA we dont gain any knowledge here sir... here they only teach us how to bring good marks... now are you going to teach me how to take class?" "pls sit down today we have our great leader behind us who claims that he can teach better than our highly qualified teachers so today our proffesor rachhodas chanchad will teach us engineering" "we donot have all day" "you all have 30 secs should find the meaning of the word written on the board if u want u can make use of your books too the one who gets the answer can lift ur hands up we'll see who'll come first and whos last" "your time starts now" "time up time up sir time up" "what?" "nobody got the answer?" "now rewind 1 min of life a bit and think when i asked this question.." "anybody thought that today we will get something to learn new..?" "no everyone sunk in race whats the use if u come first studying like this?" "will you improve your knowledge?" "no only pressure will increase and this is a college not a PRESSURE COOKER the lion in the circus too sits in the chair because of his cowardness to the owner but we call them well trained, not well educated," "tell us the meaning of those 2 words, sir actually no such words these are my friends names farhan and raju" "quite non-sense are you teaching engineering?" "no sir im not teaching you engineering, you know better than me i was teaching you the way to teach........ and i believe that you learn someday for sure sir because i never leave my weaker students hand" "busted quite" "quite i said i would regret to inform you that your son farhan, raju is goin on wrong routes if u dont take required action their future will be spoiled" "VIRUS's letters fell down in our homes like an atom bomb hiroshima and nagasaki started like twister and we were invited to both the home to get kicked come come inside" "see there we could only afford one airconditioner" "and we didnt keep in our bedroom , we kept it in farhans bedroom for him to study well i didnt buy car, riding scooter till now invested all money in farhans studies we sacrifices our future for farhans better future.. understood or not" "after all these if i get news like this n all" "hey you took all these photos farhan?" "keep quiet he has the ghost of photography in his head he used to take the images of animals and used to say he wanted to become wild life photographer son what was your percentage that year?" "91 percent did you hear that?" "from 94 percent straight down to 91 pecent" "u feel it funny?" "no no uncle no i was tellin how great pictures he has taken why you makin him an engineer you could've made him a wild life photographer listen, im holdin my hand n beggin you." "please dont spoil my sons future kids come lets eat somethin" "when you come next time have food and go.... dad though didnt give us food, and atlast to fill our hungry stomach, and to fill the quota of advise we reached raju's home raju's home reminds us about the 1950's films" "one small bed where his paralysed father rest one coughing mother and one sister at her age of marriage sofa with all springs out and 24 hours running water from terrace mother was retired from school and almost tired everytime... his dad was a postmaster at his age" "after paralysis he lost his half body and salary completely.... and sister!" "she is 28 now... asking maruthi 800 as dowry... if dont study n all how she'll get married?" "take brinjal curry.. hand jee thank you you know wat?" "brinjal has now become 12 rupees per kg and cauliflower 10 rupees world is looting all over and upon that your these kind of letters come from college what will we eat?" "want paneer?" "someday back u get little of paneer in sonar's shop want paneer?" "no no enough mom just leave it keep quiet, what?" "ok ok, i'll keep quiet earn for kids, work like a servant, and after all these keep mouth shut?" "hey these all our news if i dont tell it to my son, to whom will i say?" "to his friends?" "hey raju it was real tragedy, controlling our friend, leading to mom's tears then we thought to leave all these matter, and concentrate on mattar paneer," "even his exhema's cream comes for 55 rupees now" "want more roti son?" "no no done no stomach filled auntly" "ladies finger 12 rupees and caulli flower 10 rupees hehheee atleast we offered you some food unlike your hungy father hitler qureshi hanh hanh your mom is mother teresa right?" "she was serving us itchy roti, dont make fun of my mother hey leave it, why u all fighting?" "feelin damn hungry come lets go have some food outside this is the end of month who'll give money his mom mother teresa?" "to have food doesnt require money dude, uniform is required uniform, watch there.." "come come" "namaste jee namaste ooooo uncle" "hey listen get us 3 glass of vodka half soda half water what are the starters available?" "what ever get us two plates each and leave this here and change the music dude put some cool ones pia what the hell is this?" "what have you worn?" "bloody eighteenth century watch?" "what people will say?" "watch suhas's fiyancy, she is gonna become doctor, and she's wearing a watch just costing 200 bucks?" "please take it off thank you hi handsome hey aunty, you're looking good dont miss my set darling rubies?" "from mendelaves.." "mendelave wow!" "hey lets go meet david, come i'll show u, ofcourse of course" "excuse me yes um.. flowers um.. can i take this glass?" "why?" "what if u break my head with glass?" "why should i throw this on you?" "because im gonna give you some free advises, what?" "dont ever marry that fool, excuse me he is not a human, he is just a price tag, price tag he'll embarrass you tellin all prices of different thing all your life, your life will be spoiled and your future will be finished," "should i give a demo?" "should i find out whats the price for his shoes?" "im not gonna ask him, he himself will reveal, just a sec" "oh my god hey hey what have you done?" "its a 300 dollar shoes what u put chutney on my 300 dollar shoes run away, its a free advise, take it or leave it genuine itallian leather hand stiched," "dad are these your guests?" "these are my students why they're here?" "one sec this is really good dude, smelling very good, hey no space for puri dude, adjust it by side, ohh hi hey hi, you helped me opening up my eyes, thank you so much" "can i ask you for little more help?" "ya ya my dad wont allow me to break the engagement with suhas, how great you explain!" "it would be good if u give a demo for him also, ya ya why not why not?" "ill give demo raju get me chutney, you're really sweet, where is he, where is your dad?" "totally behind you, ooh," "aal iz well aal iz well run away, its a free advise, take it or leave it what u all doin here?" "um sir, we'll see difa on stage n come back sir give it to me this is my sister's marriage umm. sis sister?" "sir how many daughter you have sir?" "its empty!" "as though we dint invite you, you all might be from groom's side right?" "no sir actually we're from science's side sir how?" "can you explain?" "dad, he explains really good, now itself he'll give demo, give um... sir in delhi, power goes out frequently sir and this really affects the marriage too sir so i thought to make an inverter" "that can generate power from all cars that has come in the marriage, ohhh wow and did you make the inverter?" "sir design is ready sir!" "um.. where is the design farhan i've given you the design right?" "aah, i had given to raju, raju design?" "sir actually, leave it sir ill make the inverter itself and show you directly, you can only make us fool, not an inverter!" "no sir ill surely make the inverter, i promise and ill give your name for the inverter because after all it had been invented in your daughter's marriage so it'll an honour, farhan, raju i wish both of you to meet in the office tomorrow" "sir what was your per plate cost sir, we'll pay sir in terms of installment sir" "and afterward we wont intrude in any marriage sir i wont even enter my marriage also sir, infact i wont marry also sir, even he wont marry also sir hanh hanh, even i wont sir even your parents shouldnt've married" "2 idiots wouldnt've taken birth in this world sit!"