"Previously on "The Secret Life of an American Teenager"..." "She was supposed to go to New York, but the boarding pass said Chicago, so that's where she went." "I'm just gonna go make sure she makes the connection." "Make sure that Amy gets to her new school." "Let's go back to your old school." "Uh, no, let's not." "But it's the best thing you can do for yourself." "You can't just come in here and tell me what to do." "I'm your father." "Lauren's not the next one." "Grace is." "Let's go somewhere." "Adrian, it's not good to run away from your problem." "Every girl at this school feels like you have every right to be here." "Now, Amy, I never want you to feel like you're alone here." "Lookin' for Ben?" "Looking for Adrian?" "I heard she disappeared or something." "Well, she wasn't at school yesterday, and she hasn't returned my calls." "I don't know if that counts as disappeared." "I don't know, either." "But I heard Mr. Molina's disappeared, too." "Hmm." "Like the two of them are together or something?" "That's what I heard." "From who?" "Your two little friends?" "It's all over school this morning, that the two of them disappeared." "Your friends are liars, you know." "They're the ones who started all the rumors about you." "Rumors?" "This isn't a rumor that you got me pregnant." "I don't like the way you said that." "It sounds like you're blaming me or something." "You have some responsibility in this." "And you know who else thinks so?" "Lauren." "Lauren?" "Yeah." "Oh, I see." "Madison and Lauren can keep a secret when they want to." "What are you talking about?" "I don't kiss and tell." "Hey." "Hey." "When did you talk to Ricky?" "And when did you start agreeing with him that this is all my fault?" "What did you do?" "And don't try and tell me it was just making out or something." "It's never just making out with him." "OK, wait just a minute." "I am not you." "I know how to say no." "Let's go, Madison." "Don't you take one step." "I told you to tell her." "And she didn't." "Let's go, Madison!" "Don't forget you're dating my brother, and I have a lot of influence over him." "Stop it, you guys!" "We are not gonna ruin our friendship over a mental patient!" "Madison!" "Well, it's true." "He's Lauren's dad's patient." "We don't know what for, but it must be something big because he's good." "Really good." "And really expensive." "Mental patient?" "What's going on?" "Uh, nothing." "Oh." "Well, uh... the good news is he's getting help, and, um..." "Or maybe not." "Maybe-maybe not." "I don't know." "Excuse me." "Sync:" "FRS@×ÏÍ"¤³Ñý¾"" "The Secret Life of the American Teenager S01 ep11" " Hi." " Hey." "I was looking for Marc." "Yeah, so is everyone else." "Should you be going through his things like that, or...?" "Power is not given." "It's taken." "I'm taking this opportunity to compete with Joe." "I'm focusing on student intel." "How'd you like to buy your school records?" "That's not ethical." "I'm not offering to sell you another guy's records." "Just yours." "Yeah, still..." "Uh..." "How'd you get in here?" "I'm a shape shifter." "The janitor sold me a key." "And it's yours for... a thousand bucks." "Aw, come on." "That's like a nickel to you." " No, it's not." " All right, whatever." "Do you want your records or not?" "Because if you want 'em, you better hurry up." "I don't expect to be here that long." "Bye." "All right." "So I guess you heard." "Ricky's a psycho." "Like we didn't know that already." "But it's been confirmed." "You shouldn't start rumors like that, Jack." "Oh, it's not a rumor." " It's a fact." " What do you mean?" "Under all those layered T-shirts is probably a straitjacket." "What?" "He's in therapy." "Yeah, so?" "I've been in therapy, too." "Shh." "What is wrong with you?" "I don't care if people know I've been in therapy." "When we adopted Tom, our whole family went to therapy, together and separately, just to talk through it." "It was very helpful." "Grace, people already think you're weird enough." "Well, I don't care what people think." " I've been in therapy." " Just, please." "Trust me on this one, OK?" "That's two strikes against you." "You're and you've been to therapy." "You're a crazy Christian." "You really want that getting out?" "I'm a crazy Christian!" "Yeah, I am." "I'm a crazy Christian." "And I see you're not wearing your promise ring anymore." "No." "You saw me take it off." "Yeah, and I thought you took it off in anger." "Plus, I thought your parents would make you put it right back on." "No." "They haven't even noticed it was off." "Well, you should put it back on." "It's not safe out here." "No." "I don't care if it's not safe out here." "It's safe in here." "Yeah, but decisions about sex aren't made with your brain." "Seriously, put that thing back on." " No." " Why?" "Because, haven't you heard?" "I'm a crazy Christian." "Look," "I know you're psychotic enough to go after Grace, but I'm a nice guy, so I'm gonna tell you how it works, OK?" "See, right now, she's not wearing her promise ring." "But don't let that fool you." "Grace loves to make out." "So you might go on a date, you might even start to make out with her." "But right when you think she's ready to take it to that next step, she throws her promise ring on, and bam!" "There's a virgin force field that cannot be penetrated." "Interesting choice of words." "What?" "Look..." "I'm just letting you know you're just wasting your time with her." "OK?" "She's just a big tease." "Amateur." "I don't know what you're so upset about." "He's going to Lauren's father." "And Lauren's father only sees seriously disturbed people." "Oh, come on." "He's in social services." "I mean, maybe he just needs someone to talk to." "A lot of kids need someone to talk to." "I don't." "Well, maybe you should talk to someone." "You know?" "It might help." "It might help what?" "I mean, you are going through a hard time right now." "I think I can handle it, Ben." "But ?" "handle it, it would be nice to have someone to talk to." "And maybe Ricky's talking to a therapist because he's having trouble with..." "I don't know." "But seeking help is a very responsible thing to do." "I mean, maybe Ricky's a much better guy than we give him credit for." "Come on, Ben!" "Are you crazy, too?" "Well, I did get hit in the head last week, fighting for your honor." "So, yeah, maybe there is some brain damage." "Have I said "thank you" lately?" "Thank you." "How are things with Amy?" "Oh." "Uh, she's fine." " She's " " I had sex with Alice." "Yeah." "How'd it go?" "Well, how do you think it went?" "It was sex." "It was " "I already talked to Alice." "Oh." "Yeah." "Sorry." "She kept saying, "Hurry up."" "I mean, how romantic is that?" "I don't need the details, Henry." "She's so bossy." "Who can have sex with a bossy chick like that?" "Oh, no." "And it wasn't like she was any good at it, either." "For all that talk about sex, she really didn't know what she was doing." "Neither did you." "Jeez." "Sex isn't Sudoku." "OK?" "Maybe your relationship needs some work." "Thanks for telling everyone about our " "Bad first time?" "OK, guys." "School hallway." "People listening." "Dignity." "Sanity." "Propriety." "We're gonna try it again!" "We're gonna do it as many times as it takes to get good at it." "No, we're not." "We have to." "We can't just leave things the way we left them." "You have to get back up on the horse." "I don't want to!" "Thank you." "Oh, he'll ?" "So... have you and Amy... had sex?" "No." "I wouldn't ask her to have sex." "Well, I mean, not right now, anyway." "Really?" "I would think that she's reached that time in the pregnancy when sex is supposed to be really good." "I just thought that maybe she would wanna do it." "I mean, since you two are in love and everything." "Bye, Ben." "Hey." "Hi." "I'm surprised you're still speaking to me, what with my being crazy and all." "Oh, didn't you hear?" "I'm crazy, too." "The crazy Christian." "Yeah." " I've been in therapy, too." " Really?" "Really." "And I found it quite helpful." "And I trust someone who's been in therapy more than I trust somebody who can't talk about their problems with anyone." "I just started going 'cause I needed to talk to someone about Amy and the baby." "I'm just trying to be responsible, you know." "I mean, I screwed up, and now I wanna make up for it." "Not that I can, but you know what I mean." "The thing is, just as I was making some progress," "I find out that my shrink's daughter is Amy's friend Lauren." "And now..." "I don't know." "I don't think I can go back there." "I don't feel safe there anymore." "I feel like my business is all over school." "Yeah." "Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to..." "I know Adrian hasn't been around, so..." "Yeah." "You haven't heard from her, have you?" "No." "I heard she ran off with that counselor, Mr. Molina." "What?" "You know she's a troubled girl." "I just seem to attract trouble." "Except when it comes to you, Grace..." "I kinda wanna kiss you." "I just thought I'd tell you that." "You're very kind." "Kind?" "You're just trying to make me feel better, right?" "No." "No, I'm trying to make me feel better." "I'm attracted to you." "Even though I'm a mental case?" "I don't think that you're a mental case." "So maybe you could call me or something." "Yeah." "I will call you." "Maybe we can do something tonight." "Yeah, I'd love that." "Hey, Shawn." " Hey." " Hey." "Haven't seen you around." "Where've you been?" "Where've I been?" "Yeah." "When did you get an attitude?" "I don't have an attitude." "Great." "So, maybe we can go out sometime?" "I don't know." "I'm kind of busy." "Doing what?" "Come on." "All right." "Call me." "Emotionally immature?" "What does that mean?" "Emotionally immature?" "Hey, man, I didn't write that stuff." "I'm mature." "I'm very mature." "Emotionally and physically." "Right?" "Mm." "I would benefit from therapy?" "Oh, yeah." "See, actually, that-that part I added." "It... it's a personal opinion, you know?" "You can't put that in my permanent record!" "Look, my friend." "You need help, OK?" "You ?" "The girl is obviously in love with Ricky." "And, yeah, maybe you are emotionally immature." "But for a 20," "I can make all that disappear." "For a 50, I can turn you into a whole different student." "Completely." "Think about it." "Are you Marc Molina?" "I... might be." "?" "El Cucuy." "Excuse me." "Sit down." "Where ?" "Uh, well, the rumor is that he's with Adrian Lee." "They, uh..." ""ran away together."" "Well, that's a rumor." "What are the facts?" "What are you, the po-po?" "Yes." "Well, I'm late for class." "Do you think Marc Molina ran off with Adrian?" "I doubt it." " Why?" " Because that girl can do way better." "And believe me, she has." "I'm her father." "Oh!" "Well, uh... it's just the facts." "You know, it's nothing personal." "But you know what?" "Call me if you need some digging around." "Hey." "Are you the new guidance counselor?" "'Cause I could really use some guidance right now." "See, I'm having trouble keeping my mouth shut." "I told everyone that Amy got pregnant by Ricky, and now I'm telling everyone that Ricky is crazy." "You know, Ricky Underwood." "It's OK that I'm telling you this, right?" "Because this could be pretty serious, telling everyone that Ricky's crazy." "You know, I feel like I've violated some sort of patient/doctor/ daughter-of-doctor code because, you see, Lauren is the daughter of the doctor." "He's a shrink, and he treats Ricky." "So, I'm kind of afraid that Ricky might kill me because he's a little on edge 'cause his girlfriend Adrian disappeared." "And she's, like, the school skank." "And it's so funny, too, because everyone knows it, and she, like, embraces it." "But anyway..." "You see, her father showed up here and he's threatened to take her away ?" "so she ran off with the guidance counselor." "I'm guessing that's how you got this job." "Ohh." "I get it." "I'm supposed to do all the talking." "Yeah." "It's like we're in therapy." "Not that I've ever been in therapy." "I'm not crazy, OK?" "I'm Adrian's father." "I'm looking for my daughter." "Do you know if she ran off with Marc Molina?" "Wait." "You're replacing the guy she ran off with?" "That's not right, is it?" "I'm a district attorney." "Oh, cool." "So, do you have, like, the authority to sign a hall pass?" "No." "OK, well, um, I-I was kidding about the school skank stuff." "Um, she is actually a very talented girl." "She's a very talented majorette." "And she's very smart." "Really?" "Yeah." "Pull her file." "Well, thank you." "I feel a lot better, so... thanks." "Excuse me." "Who are you and what are you doing in here?" "Oh." "Well, you could've come by the front office." "We were expecting you." "I need to talk to Grace Bowman." "This proves it." "They must've run off together." "Emotionally immature?" "What does that mean?" "Hey, Jack!" "Madison." "OK, Madison." "Do you think I'm emotionally immature?" "I don't know." "I hope not." "'Cause I'm about to tell you something." "OK." "I've already heard that Ricky's crazy, but..." "Oh, no." "I started that rumor." "Hello?" "Old news." "Adrian's father is up in Marc Moli and he's looking for her." "So this proves it." "They ran off together." "That's who that is?" "Yeah." "He's a DA." "Oh, Jesus." "I took my file." "I stole it right in front of him." "That's more than a little immature." "You could get arrested." "What is wrong with me lately?" "Do you think I need therapy?" "Well, isn't your stepfather a minister?" "Doesn't he counsel people?" "Yeah, but that's like a surgeon operating on his own son." "I can't ask him for help." "I can't let him see what's inside of me." "You know?" "Yeah." "I can't tell my dad anything." "Wait." "Maybe that's why I have to tell everyone everything!" "Maybe this is my breakthrough." "I think I'm healed!" "That girl is crazy." "Hi." "Hi, there." "I'm Adrian's father." "I remember." "I'm Grace." "But, of course, you knew that." "You called for me." "Ruben Enriquez." "Grace, you mind answering a few questions?" "No, not at all." "I was recently interrogated by the police department." "About who hit Ben." "And before that, I had an altercation." "But the police never questioned me, just a lot of reporters." "Should I sit down?" "Why not?" "So you and Adrian are friends?" "Yes." "And I can tell you that you really hurt her by not contacting her for 16 years." "And frankly, I think she was a little disappointed that night when you came out to the car and just told her to go away." "I know that you were shocked to see her, but I think it was a little insensitive." "Oh." "Right." "You have questions." "Go ahead." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Grace, Adrian seems to have disappeared." "Do you have any idea where she is?" "No." "I'm sorry." "How could you not contact her for 16 years?" "I mean, a girl needs her father." "Yeah." "Where's your father?" "Oh, my father is Dr. Marshall Bowman." "He and my mother have been together my whole life." "But still, I have problems." "I can't imagine what it must be like for Adrian." "When was the last time you talked to her?" "About you?" "Or just, like, in general?" "I mean, just when was the last time you talked to her?" "And did she say anything about leaving home?" "Well, I called her after Amy showed up back at school and we all walked her down the hallway." "All the girls did, because Amy is pregnant." "And I wanted her to feel comfortable coming back to school here." "But I noticed that Adrian wasn't there, so I called her." "And?" "And she didn't answer." "But I left her a voicemail." "But she didn't call me back." "But she doesn't always call me back." "Did you talk to her last weekend?" "No." "Yes." "Wait a minute." "That night, when the two of us got back from your house, my brother was at my house, and he'd ordered a hooker off the Internet, so I called Adrian to tell her about it..." "But she didn't call me back then, either." "I told you, she doesn't always call back." "Wait." "Did you know that those friend websites online are actually for hookers?" "You should do something about that." "I'll get right on it." "So, who do you think she talked to last?" "Probably Ricky." "Ricky." "I haven't heard from her." "All I know is, she doesn't want you interfering with her life." "Yeah, well, she needs some interfering in her life." "And I don't think you should be hanging out with her anymore." "Evidently, no one should hang out with me." "I'm crazy." "Haven't you heard?" "Do you have any idea where Adrian is?" "No." "Come on, kid." "If you know something, you better tell me." "Listen, if something happens to her " "If something happens to her, it's not my problem." "I'm not her father." "Yeah, that's right, kid." "You're the father of Amy's baby, yet you're still sleeping with my daughter." "Not anymore." "She broke up with me 'cause I wouldn't go with her." " Hi there." " Hi." "Here's my license and registration." "Did I do something wrong?" "Sir, it's Officer Peter Pannigan." "Got her." "You can go now." "Yeah." "Nice talking to you." "Where the hell is she?" "Old Route 66, near Needles." "What's she doing there?" "I don't know, sir." "Do you want me to ask her?" "Hold her." "I don't know if I can do that, sir." "She wasn't speeding." "She has her license and registration, and her tags are up to date." "Look, I don't care how you hold her." "Just hold her till I get there." "I can follow her, sir, but I can't hold her." "You can hold her." "She's my daughter." "Think of something." "Truancy." "Sorry." "Forgot my pen." "Don Rumsfeld gave me this pen." "Truancy." "Yeah." "I don't know where you are, but be careful." "Someone just call your father." "I'm sorry, Amy." "I fell for it." "He called me." "I went out to the car to talk to him." "And then we made out." "OK, I'm not upset about that." "I'm upset that you think you're smarter than I am and that you're smart enough not to get pregnant." "Yet you fell for him, just like I did." "So you're not smarter than me." "Why does everyone think I think I'm smarter than everyone else?" "Well..." "I guess because you are." "And, you know, sometimes you make other people feel stupid, like when you said I didn't have enough sense to say no." "No one wants to feel stupid about sex, and I'm walking around with "stupid" written all over me." "I'm sorry, Amy, about everything, about what happened to you, about what I did, everything." "And I miss you." "I miss hanging out at your house." "I feel like you and Madison are still close, but " "I just don't get that your parents won't let you be friends with me anymore." "I guess they think I'll get pregnant by association." "Or that I'll get the idea that having sex at 15 is OK." "I'd think you'd get the idea that it's at 15." "I'm pregnant." "I don't know." "Maybe they knew from the beginning that the guy that got you pregnant has issues because he was sexually abused as a child." "OK, that can't go anywhere." "I can't believe your dad would tell you that." "What?" "No, my dad would never tell me something like that." "I'm sure he knows that, but he would never tell me anything about a patient." "How'd you find out, then?" "Ricky told me." "Why?" "Why did he tell you?" "I figured it out." "How?" "I'm smart?" "I thought that when I figured it out and I got him to talk about it," "I would be ?" "I thought I could be the person that he would tell this to, the person that he could share his darkest secrets with." "Then I came to school, and there he was - back with Adrian." "He didn't even say hi to me." "He said he never told anyone." "And I had no idea that he was in treatment and that my dad was his shrink." "You can't tell anyone." "Not even Ben." "Promise?" "All right." "I-I promise." "Amy, do you know how lucky you are to find the love of your life at 15?" "I am in no way luckier than you or smarter than you." "And when Ricky told me he had this probr" "I should've just recommended that he see my dad." "But no, I had to go and feel sorry for him." "And that's how he gets to people - he makes you feel sorry for him." "Hey." "What are you doing over here, all alone?" "I can't take it." "It's different for me than you, Grace." "People like you so they don't care that you ever went to therapy." "But me, people ?" "because of Amy." "And now... they love knowing that I'm in therapy." "They think I'm using that as an excuse, like I'm trying to explain away my behavior, like there's something wrong with me." "There's nothing wrong with me." "I'm not trying to hide anything." "I'm just trying to deal with the pregnancy." "It's overwhelming sometimes." "I created a life." "I talk to my shrink about other things, too, you know." "Like you." "Really?" "What do you say about me?" "No, wait." "I shouldn't know that." "Those are ?" "Private thoughts that I can share with you." "I told him what a great influence you are." "I wanna be a Christian, Grace." "I just don't know if I'm good enough." "I mean, I'm sure no one around here thinks I'm good enough." "People are so cruel." "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, Ricky." "Grace, when you said you wanted to kiss me, that wasn't because you felt sorry for me, was it?" "No, of course not." "I said it because I'm attracted to you." "Where's your ring?" "Your promise ring?" "I decided not to wear it." "I don't need a ring to tell me when to stop." "I don't, either." "We should take this slow, Grace." "Well, I think we have to." "My parents didn't say that we can go out." "They said you can come over." "Fine." "Because I don't want this to be like my other relationships." "Really?" "?" "?" "You're at school now." "Try speaking English." "I hate you." "Oh, wow." "What a concept." "My teenage daughter hates me." "You cannot control my life!" "You haven't been around for 16 years, and now you and my mother are not gonna tell me what to do." "Yeah, I don't know about her, but I know I am." "I just enrolled you in a private all-girls school." "Keys." "That's my car." "No, it's your mother's car." "It's in her name." "And you just showed her that you're not responsible enough to have a car." "I took a drive!" "Yeah - with a suitcase in the trunk?" "So?" "Maybe I just wanted to get away for a few days." "You don't have a job, do you?" "That's your mother's money you're running away with." "It's not your money." "She gave it to me." "Yes, but not to run away with." "And you know what?" "You're old enough to have a job." "?" "to give you money." "My job is to get an education." "At least that's what she says, anyway." "And don't you have a job?" "How is it that you have time to just sit around my school, calling the police to stop me?" "I was concerned about you." "What?" "Your academic record is very impressive." "Did Mr. Molina give you that?" "Mr. Molina?" "I don't think Mr. Molina works here anymore." "You got him fired?" "No." "You're lying." "Mr. Molina has nothing to do with this." "I'm not concerned about Mr. Molina." "I'm ?" "And incidentally, I don't want you seeing Ricky anymore." "That is not your decision." "You do not decide who I go out with!" "And you know what?" "I'm sorry." "I am so sorry I ever looked you up." "You know, just-just go back to where you came from." "And I promise I will never bother you again." "Ever." "I can't make that same promise." "It's too late!" "Don't you get it?" "I'm all grown up!" "I have my period and everything!" "I menstruate," "I take birth control pills," "I have sex, protected sex, with condoms!" "I don't need parents!" "Adrian... listen to me." "You're going out with a guy who's for God knows what." "Your girlfriend, the crazy Christian cheerleader, has been in some sort of altercation and was just interrogated by the police." "And she's interested in your boyfriend, by the way." "But what really bothers me is that everyone in this school seems to think that you're a slut." "Now, you need an adult in your life." "Your mother wants to be your best friend, and I don't." "You need me." "Otherwise, you wouldn't have come to see me." "I made a mistake." "Well, before you make any serious mistakes, let's see what we can do to get your life going in the right direction." "What does that mean - get my life in the right direction?" "That's what my mother said." "What are you two talking about?" "Adrian, I think you need to realize that you have a lot more to offer the world than just sex." "Ay dios mio." "Come on." "Give yourself a chance to have everything in life." "It's all there for the taking." "Change to this private school so you have a shot at making it to one of the top universities." "You're a leader, not a follower." "I see you becoming a governor... a senator... a judge." "Forgive me, Adrian... and let me make up the past 16 years to you." "Hi." "Bye." "Wait." "I want to talk to you about me and Ricky." "Oh!" "So now it's "me and Ricky."" "Please, can I just come in?" "I prayed about this all afternoon." "I wanted to know how you would feel if we did go out." "If we go out." "If my parents even let us go out." "Oh." "How would I feel?" "Hmm." "Betrayed." "Oh." "Well, by me or Ricky?" "Look, if you want my permission, you are not gonna get it, so live with it." "Either you're friends with me or you sleep with Ricky." "One or the other." "Well, why can't I be friends with you and just, like, make out with Ricky?" "You can't just make out with Ricky." "You can't." "I think I can." "Just out of curiosity, at what point do you cut a guy off?" "Oh." "Um..." "Well, no, like, hand-to-skin contact." "Yeah, you are gonna need to get on the pill and use condoms." "You don't know where he's been." "Oh, and he is going to be on you before breakfast in the morning." "That's vulgar." "That's Ricky." "Adrian, are you in love with him?" "No." "And you can tell him that when you see him." "OK, I just do anything behind your back." "Oh, I see." "So if you tell me you're gonna do it with my boyfriend, then there's no guilt and you can enjoy it." "You know what?" "You are a crazy Christian, and you should go back to therapy." "Oh." "Hmm." "And... take these with you." "You don't want to end up like Amy Juergens." "What'd you find?" "One thing that's interesting is it says that sexually abused kids have a very good sense of humor sometimes." "They use humor as a coping mechanism." "Ha." "Yeah, I can see that." "And they have intimacy issues." "Do you think it's something he'll ever get over?" "Like, do people who are abused ever recover from it?" "Well, I don't know if this means that they recover, but they learn to overcome it." "I mean, they can't erase the past, just like I can't erase the pain of losing my mom." "But at this point, I can accept it." "It's so what another person has suffered." "You know?" "Like, they just become more human." "I mean, I don't like Ricky any better than I did before, but at least now I have a better understanding of how he became that way." "I hope our venture into amateur psychology is not making you like him." " Like him?" " Mm." "No." "I guess we could have sex if you want." "Oh..." "I want." "I mean, it hardly seems fair that I had sex with Ricky and I won't have sex with you, even though you did almost get killed for me." "Well " "I mean, just a little beat up, but still " "Really?" "Yeah." "I find myself feeling really good these days." "Besides, I'm already pregnant." "And it wouldn't hurt the baby?" "No." "You're sure?" "Did you talk to a doctor?" "No." "You know, even though she says that there there's judgment." "?" "So I looked it on the Internet." "Huh." "That's interesting." "I did, too." "You know, I, uh..." "I find myself very attracted to you, Ben, and I want to do something nice for you." "I want to do something nice for you, too." "Does this feel more like a fair trade agreement than sex?" "Yeah, kind of." "Does that matter?" "Kind of." "Oh, you know, I heard about Alice and Henry, and I don't understand what went wrong." "I me all the girl has to do is just lay there, right?" "And then eventually I just say "Get off me," and it's done." "I'm just joking." "But really, I don't know much about sex." "I don't know much about sex either, but I don't think this is the best time to be finding out." "I mean, I'd kinda feel like I was... trespassing." "Come here." "I just feel like maybe we should be a little older when ?" "for the first time." "And a little less pregnant?" "Not that you're not the most beautiful woman in the world, but... it still would freak me out a little bit." "So that's a pass?" "I guess." ""You are the full moon at midnight sending the sweetness of light into my cup of tea."" "She's not having sex." "Are you sure?" "Well, not good sex." "What do you know about that - good sex?" "Dad, I know poetry, and I know a cup of tea doesn't represent good sex." "I don't think they're even hugging." "I don't know about that." "I think it's time you and me have a talk." "Dad, please, this isn't the sex talk, right?" "Of course it's the sex talk." "I figure if I have the sex talk with you, maybe you won't want to have sex." "Probably not." "OK, this is all you need to know." "Dad, I have Internet access and a pregnant sister." "I know where babies come from." "Oh." "OK." "Did I ever tell you about the day you were born?" "No." "Well, your mother went into labor, and we rushed to the hospital." "They said it wasn't time yet, so they suggested we go for a walk." "Or at least your mother go for a walk." "But she didn't feel like it, so we took a drive up the coast." "Amy was with Mimsy." "So, we're driving up the coast, and all of a sudden, both lanes of traffic come to a halt." "And then the labor pains started getting closer and closer." "And your mother tried to pretend that it would be fine with her if she had you in the backseat of the car on Pacific Coast Highway, but I figured I'd pass out - you know, like I did when Amy was born." "So I pulled the car over onto the shoulder of the road and started driving as fast as I could." "And this cop started chas ?" "And when he realized that your mother was in labor, he escorted us to the nearest hospital." "At which point your mother closed her legs and said she was gonna keep you inside until we get her to her own hospital and her own doctor." "And, uh... when I saw you," "I thought you looked exactly like your mother." "And then Mimsy brought Amy in, and we all just stared at you for hours." "You were such a beautiful baby." "You know, it's really different having a baby when you'r ?" "and it's a happy time and everyone's excited." "I don't know how Amy's gonna do it." "I really don't." "I don't know how we're all gonna do it." "But we're gonna have to make it as good for her as we can, because we have to." "She's this sweet young girl who writes poetry about the moon and teacups." "Have you ever baked cookies before?" "No, but it looks like fun." "Baking is fun." "And I know that you're feeling kinda bad about the rumors that are going around school, and I know we both feel a little guilty about the Adrian thing, but I really do think that she wants to spend time with her dad." "But sometimes when I'm feeling a little blue," "I like to do something for someone else, so I thought we could bake cookies for the assisted care home." "My church does it all the time - bakes things and takes them over." "What kind of cookies are we baking?" "Snickerdoodles." "What?" "They're a simple cookie." "Which is good, 'cause we have to bake a double batch, which is like 150 cookies." "That's a lot of cookies." "Sounds like we might be here all night." "Well, I don't know if it'll take all night." "So, what do we do first?" "Um, melt the butter." "Look, don't feel guilty." "Adrian and I broke up." "So how do we melt the butter, Grace?" "I love that guy." "Tom!" "I thought you were supposed to be downstairs helping Ricky and Grace bake cookies." "Nope." "What do you mean, nope?" "Why not?" "Grace gave me money to stay out of there." "How much money?" "20 bucks." "But I gave you 40 to stay down there." "I know." "Grace gave me 20." "It's a good night." "I am only $120 away from Betty time." "What?" "You know Betty." "My friend." "Sit down." "Tom," "Betty is not your friend." "Betty is a prostitute." "And by the way, your mother tells me that she scuffed up the floor in the hallway." "You know, that's parquet." "I did not know that." "Buddy, I thought we had an understanding." "You're not supposed to see Betty again." "She's a nice girl." "Tom, she's not a nice girl." "You should not judge ?" "You cheated." "You and Mom." "You two cheated on George." "Mom and I cheated on George?" "Where did you hear that?" "From Grace." " Uh, oh " " Here, let me get that for you." "Oh." "Maybe you shouldn't do that." "I think it'll affect the yield." "Does this count as oral?" "No, this doesn't count as anything." "Maybe not to you." "Grace!" "I thought you two were baking cookies." "OK, it's not gonna happen." "What is wrong here?" "I don't know." "To be perfectly honest, sex for me is better without you." "Oh, thanks." "It's better for you without me, isn't it?" "I love you, Alice, but " "I know." "Yeah." "Hi, George." "I'm home." "Are the girls in bed?" "Everything go OK?" "Uh" "You know, I think I owe you an apology about the school thing." "I was wrong." "You were right." "I think it was a good decision for Amy to go back to her school." "I think I underestimate you sometimes." "It was great to get away with my mother." "It gave me a lot of time to think about things." "Hold on, I'll go brush my teeth." "No, that's OK." "Really?" "All right." "No " "George!" "That's not what I meant." "You look really tired." "Why don't you get some rest?" "We can talk about this tomorrow." "Are you trying to seduce me?" "No, George." "Good night." "Well, wait just a damn minute." "What, were you and Mimsy out bar-hopping or something?" "Why would you say that?" "Where the hell you been looking like that?" "Looking like what?" " You know what you look like." " No." "You look... hot." " Well, thank you." " No, no, like a bad kind of hot." "Like a "not hot for me" hot." "Like leftovers hot." "I mean, who are you dressed like that for?" "Me." "Oh, no." "No." "Don't you try that one." "Have you got a boyfriend?" " A boyfriend?" " Wrong answer!" "Don't you accuse me of having a boyfriend." "You have a boyfriend." "I do not." "I ran into a friend from college." "We had dinner." "What'd you have for dessert?" "You cheated on me!" "I did not!" "And besides, what if I did?" "You cheated on me." "That's different." "I'm interested in sex." "You're not." "I am so interested in sex." "Yeah, not with me." "Yeah, George." "Unfortunately, you're right." "Not with you." "Anne!" "How could you not be interested in sex with me?" "I'm your husband." "We had great sex for years!" "That's the one thing we had in common." "We both love having sex with each other!" " George, the girls." " Oh, yeah, the girls." "That's how we had the girls - great sex." "Amy was conceived under a full moon on a surfboard, and Ashley was conceived in a graveyard at midnight." "Wow." "You know, I forgot about that." "That explains a lot." "How could you forget that?" "Daniel Hoffstadler." "We were on his grave." "Daniel Hoffstadler." "Yeah." "I don't understand." "What happened to us?" "I don't know, George." "I don't know." "You don't know?" "Well, I did think that I lost all interest in sex, but as it turns out " "I'm really sorry to say this to you " "I just lost all interest in sex with you." "Because I cheated?" "No." "I think I knew on some level you were doing it, but I didn't want to deal with it, because on another level," "I didn't care." "'Cause you were leaving me alone, and I was kind of happy about that." "But I knew that something wasn't right." "Well, if it wasn't the cheating, what was it?" "I don't know." "There was no big thing exactly." "It's " "OK, you remember a couple years ago when I made you lunch " "I made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I put ?" "to go with it, and you asked for a bag of Cheese Nuffs instead?" " No." " Well, you did." "And I think that it was at that exact moment when I realized" "I didn't want to have sex with you anymore." "I didn't want to talk to you anymore." "I didn't want to be with you anymore." "Because of the Cheese Nuffs?" "No." "No." "It was just " "It's just that it seemed like no matter what I did for you, it was never enough, or it wasn't right, or..." "I don't know." "Only now I don't care." "You know that there's any big reason." "There just is what is, and... what is is I " "I don't want to be married to you anymore, George." "I'm sorry." "I wish I did." "I wish I wanted to work this out, but I don't."