"OU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT?" "DO YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE?" "TO BE OUT." "THIS IS OUT." "OUT'S ONE OF THE MOST ENJOYABLE" "EXPERIENCES OF LIFE." "WHEN PEOPLE SAY, LET'S GO OUT." "THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT." "THIS WHOLE THING-- WE'RE ALL OUT." "NO ONE IS HOME." "NOT ONE PERSON HERE'S HOME." "WE'RE ALL OUT." "THERE ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO FIND US." "THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE." "I CAN'T FIND HIM." "WHERE DID HE GO?" "HE DIDN'T TELL ME." "HE MUST HAVE GONE OUT." "YOU WANT TO GO OUT." "YOU GET READY-- PICK OUT CLOTHES," "TAKE THE SHOWER, GET ALL READY," "GET THE CASH, THE CAR, THE SPOT, THE RESERVATION..." "THEN YOU STAND AROUND GOING," "GOT TO BE GETTING BACK." "ONCE YOU'RE OUT, YOU WANT TO GET BACK" "GO TO SLEEP, GET UP," "GO OUT AGAIN TOMORROW." "WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE," "IT'S MY FEELING, YOU'VE GOT TO GO." "CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY COLUMBIA TRISTAR DOMESTIC TELEVISION" "ST POSSIBLE SPOT." "THE SECOND BUTTON" "LITERALLY MAKES OR BREAKS THE SHIRT." "LOOK AT IT." "IT'S TOO HIGH." "YOU LOOK LIKE YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER." "ARE YOU THROUGH?" "YOU DO TRY THINGS ON?" "YES!" "IT WAS PURPLE." "I LIKED IT." "I DON'T RECALL CONSIDERING BUTTONS." "OH, YOU DON'T RECALL." "AHEM." "NO, NOT AT THIS TIME." "SENATOR, TELL ME WHAT YOU KNEW" "AND WHEN YOU KNEW IT." "MR. SEINFELD..." "MR. COSTANZA." "ARE YOU SURE THIS IS DECAF?" "WHERE'S THE ORANGE INDICATOR?" "IT'S MISSING." "I HAVE TO DO IT IN MY HEAD." "DECAF LEFT." "REGULAR RIGHT." "DECAF LEFT." "REGULAR RIGHT." "IT'S VERY CHALLENGING WORK." "RELAX." "IT'S A CUP OF COFFEE." "CLAIRE'S A PROFESSIONAL WAITRESS." "TRUST ME, GEORGE, NOBODY'S INTERESTED" "IN SEEING YOU ON CAFFEINE." "WHY AREN'T YOU DOING THE SECOND SHOW TOMORROW?" "THERE'S THIS WOMAN MIGHT BE COMING." "WAIT A SECOND." "WAIT A SECOND." "WHAT COMING IN?" "WHAT WOMAN'S COMING IN?" "I TOLD YOU ABOUT LAURA," "THE GIRL I MET IN MICHIGAN." "NO, YOU DIDN'T." "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU." "SHE TEACHES POLITICAL SCIENCE." "I MET HER THE NIGHT I DID THE SHOW IN LANSING." "THERE'S NO MILK IN HERE." "WAIT." "WHAT'S SHE LIKE?" "OH, SHE'S REALLY GREAT." "SHE'S GOT A WARMTH ABOUT HER." "SHE'S REALLY BRIGHT AND PRETTY." "AND THE CONVERSATION, IT WAS..." "TALKING WITH HER" "IT WAS LIKE TALKING WITH YOU," "BUT, YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY MUCH BETTER." "SO, YOU KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED?" "NOTHING HAPPENED, BUT IT WAS GREAT." "NOTHING HAPPENED, BUT IT WAS..." "WELL, THIS IS GREAT!" "SO SHE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU?" "GOD BLESS." "YOU DEVIL, YOU." "YEAH, WELL, NOT EXACTLY." "I MEAN, SHE SAID" "SHE HAD TO COME IN AND MAYBE WE'D GET TOGETHER." "[WHISTLES] WHOA." "WHOA." "WHOA." "HAD TO?" "HAD TO COME IN?" "YEAH, BUT" "HAD TO COME IN?" "MAYBE WE'LL GET TOGETHER?" "HAD TO AND MAYBE?" "NO, NO." "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEE HER." "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" "WHY DID SHE CALL?" "MAYBE SHE WANTED TO BE POLITE." "TO BE POLITE?" "YOU ARE INSANE." "OK, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SHE CALLED?" "YOU'RE A BACKUP." "YOU'RE A SECOND LINE, A JUST-IN-CASE," "A "B" PLAN, A CONTINGENCY." "I GET IT." "THIS IS ABOUT THE BUTTON." "CLAIRE." "CLAIRE, YOU'RE A WOMAN, RIGHT?" "WHAT GAVE IT AWAY?" "I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU TO ANALYZE" "A HYPOTHETICAL PHONE CALL" "FROM A FEMALE POINT OF VIEW." "WHAT ARE YOU ASKING HER?" "HOW'S SHE GOING TO KNOW?" "NOW, A WOMAN CALLS ME, RIGHT?" "SHE SAYS SHE HAS TO..." "NO." "COME TO NEW YORK ON BUSINESS" "AND MAYBE..." "SHE'LL SEE ME WHEN SHE'S HERE." "DOES THIS WOMAN INTEND TO SPEND TIME WITH ME?" "I'D HAVE TO SAY, UH, NO." "SO WHY DID SHE CALL?" "TO BE POLITE." "TO BE POLITE." "I REST MY CASE." "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT." "COME WITH ME." "MY STUFF'S IN THE DRYER." "I'M NOT GOING TO WATCH YOU DO LAUNDRY." "BE A "COME WITH" GUY." "COME ON." "I'M TIRED." "DON'T WORRY." "I GAVE HIM CAFFEINE." "HE'LL PERK UP." "I KNEW I FELT SOMETHING." "JERRY, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING." "THIS IS THE DULLEST MOMENT I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED." "YOU DIDN'T EVEN HEAR HOW SHE SOUNDED." "WHAT?" "LAURA." "I CAN'T BELIEVE" "WE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS." "HOW COULD YOU BE SO SURE?" "'CAUSE IT'S SIGNALS, JERRY." "IT'S SIGNALS." "DON'T YOU KNOW?" "ALL RIGHT." "DID SHE EVEN ASK YOU" "WHAT YOU WERE DOING TOMORROW NIGHT?" "NO." "SHE DOESN'T MAKE A PLAN FOR TOMORROW." "WHAT IS THAT?" "IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT." "YEAH." "WHAT IS THAT?" "IT'S RIDICULOUS." "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HOTEL SHE'S STAYING AT." "YOU CAN'T CALL HER." "THAT'S A SIGNAL, JERRY." "THAT'S A SIGNAL." "SIGNAL." "MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT." "MAYBE I'M RIGHT." "OF COURSE I'M RIGHT." "THIS IS INSANE." "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE SHE'S STAYING." "SHE'S NOT GOING TO CALL ME." "THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE." "I KNOW." "I KNOW." "YOUR STUFF MUST BE DONE BY NOW." "JUST SEE IF IT'S DRY." "DON'T INTERRUPT THE CYCLE." "THE MACHINE IS WORKING." "IT KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING." "JUST LET IT FINISH." "YOU'RE GOING TO OVERDRY IT." "YOU CAN'T OVERDRY." "WHY NOT?" "SAME REASON YOU CAN'T OVERWET." "ONCE SOMETHING IS WET," "IT'S WET." "SAME THING WITH DEATH." "ONCE YOU DIE, YOU'RE DEAD, RIGHT?" "SAY YOU DROP DEAD, AND I SHOOT YOU." "YOU WON'T DIE AGAIN." "YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD." "YOU CAN'T OVERDIE." "YOU CAN'T OVERDRY." "ANY QUESTIONS?" "HOW COULD SHE NOT TELL ME" "WHERE SHE WAS STAYING?" "LOOK AT THAT!" "THEY'RE DONE!" "LAUNDRY DAY IS THE ONLY EXCITING DAY" "IN THE LIFE OF CLOTHES." "IT IS." "NO, THINK ABOUT IT." "THE WASHING MACHINE" "IS THE NIGHTCLUB OF CLOTHES." "IT'S DARK, THERE'S BUBBLES HAPPENING," "THEY'RE ALL KIND OF DANCING AROUND IN THERE." "A SHIRT GRABS THE UNDERWEAR." ""COME ON, BABE." "LET'S GO."" "YOU OPEN UP THE LID AND THEY ALL..." "SOCKS ARE THE MOST AMAZING ARTICLE OF CLOTHING." "THEY HATE THEIR LIVES." "THEY'RE IN THE SHOES WITH STINKY FEET," "THE BORING DRAWERS." "THEY KNOW THE DRYER'S THEIR CHANCE TO ESCAPE." "THEY PLAN THEIR ESCAPE IN THE HAMPER." ""TOMORROW." "THE DRYER." "I'M GOING."" ""YOU WAIT HERE."" "THE DRYER DOOR SWINGS OPEN." "THE SOCK IS WAITING UP AGAINST THE SIDE WALL." "HE HOPES YOU DON'T SEE HIM," "THEN HE GOES DOWN THE ROAD." "THEY GET BUTTONS SEWN ON THEIR FACE" "AND JOIN THE PUPPET SHOW." "SO THEY'RE SHOWING ME ON TELEVISION" "THE DETERGENTS GETTING OUT BLOOD STAINS." "IS THIS A VIOLENT IMAGE TO ANYBODY, BLOOD STAINS?" "YOU GOT A T-SHIRT WITH BLOOD STAINS ALL OVER IT," "MAYBE LAUNDRY ISN'T YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM." "MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET THE HARPOON" "OUT OF YOUR CHEST FIRST." "[BASEBALL PLAYS ON TV]" "[TELEPHONE RINGS]" "[RING]" "DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MET GAME." "I TAPED IT." "HELLO?" "I'M SORRY." "YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER." "YEAH." "N" "[KNOCK ON DOOR]" "YEAH." "YOU UP?" "YEAH." "YEAH, PEOPLE DO MOVE." "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE BIG TRUCKS OUT ON THE STREET?" "YEAH, NO PROBLEM." "THE METS BLEW IT TONIGHT, HUH?" "OH!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "IT'S A TAPE." "I TAPED THE GAME." "IT'S 1:00 IN THE MORNING." "I AVOIDED HUMAN CONTACT ALL NIGHT TO WATCH THIS." "HEY, I'M SORRY." "I THOUGHT YOU KNEW." "YOU GOT ANY MEAT?" "MEAT?" "I DON'T KNOW." "GO HUNT." "WHAT HAPPENED IN THE GAME, ANYWAY?" "WHAT HAPPENED?" "WELL, THEY STUNK, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED." "I ALMOST WOUND UP GOING TO THAT GAME." "YEAH." "YOU HAVEN'T LEFT THE BUILDING IN 10 YEARS." "YEAH." "YOU DONE WITH THIS?" "NO." "WHEN YOU'RE DONE, LET ME KNOW." "YEAH, YEAH." "YOU CAN HAVE IT TOMORROW." "I THOUGHT I COULDN'T BE IN HERE THIS WEEKEND." "NAW, IT'S OK NOW." "THAT GIRL'S NOT COMING." "I MISREAD THE WHOLE THING." "DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HER?" "I DON'T THINK SO." "I CAN BE VERY PERSUASIVE." "YOU KNOW THAT I WAS ALMOST A LAWYER?" "THAT CLOSE, HUH?" "YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT." "[TELEPHONE RINGS]" "HELLO?" "OH, HI, LAURA." "OH." "GIVE ME IT." "LET ME TALK." "LET ME TALK TO HER." "I'M ALWAYS UP AT THIS HOUR." "HOW ARE YOU?" "GREAT." "SURE." "WHAT TIME'S THE PLANE GET IN?" "MY FRIEND GEORGE WILL TAKE ME." "A SLIDE!" "OUT!" "DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?" "IT'S JUST MY NEIGHBOR." "UM, YEAH, I GOT IT." "10:15." "NO, DON'T BE SILLY." "GO AHEAD AND ASK." "YEAH, SURE." "OK, GREAT." "NO, NO." "IT'S NO TROUBLE AT ALL." "I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW." "GREAT." "BYE." "I DON'T BELIEVE IT." "THAT WAS HER." "SHE WANTS TO STAY HERE." "IF MY FATHER WAS MOVING US," "HE'D SMOKE A CIGARETTE THE WHOLE WAY." "HAVE YOU GOT YOUR END?" "[COUGHS] YOUR END COMES DOWN FIRST." "EASY NOW." "DROP IT DOWN." "DROP IT DOWN." "YOUR END'S GOT TO COME DOWN." "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BRINGING IN AN EXTRA BED" "FOR A WOMAN THAT WANTS TO SLEEP WITH YOU." "WHY DON'T YOU BRING IN AN EXTRA GUY, TOO?" "LOOK, IT'S A VERY AWKWARD SITUATION." "I DON'T WANT TO BE PRESUMPTUOUS." "ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE TIME" "ONE MORE TIME..." "WHAT WAS THE EXACT PHRASING OF THE REQUEST?" "SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T FIND" "A DECENT HOTEL ROOM." "A DECENT HOTEL ROOM." "YEAH." "WOULD IT BE TERRIBLY INCONVENIENT" "IF SHE STAYED HERE?" "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS." "THIS IS NEW YORK CITY." "THERE MUST BE 11 MILLION DECENT HOTEL ROOMS." "WHAT DO YOU NEED, A FLAG?" "THIS IS THE SIGNAL, JERRY!" "THIS IS THE SIGNAL!" "THANK YOU, MR. SIGNAL." "WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY?" "I THINK I WAS AFFECTED BY THE CAFFEINE." "OH!" "OH!" "GOOD DOG!" "ALL RIGHT." "HEY, HE REALLY LIKES YOU, GEORGE." "WELL, THAT'S FLATTERING." "HE'S GETTING A DRINK OF WATER." "IS THIS FOR THAT GIRL?" "YEAH." "WHY EVEN GIVE HER AN OPTION?" "THIS IS A PERSON I LIKE." "IT'S NOT HOW TO SCORE ON SPRING BREAK." "CAN WE GO?" "I'M DOUBLE PARKED." "I'M GOING TO GET A TICKET." "YEAH, OK." "WAIT." "I FORGOT TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM." "SO WHAT?" "THAT'S GOOD." "HOW COULD THAT BE GOOD?" "BECAUSE FILTH IS GOOD." "YOU THINK ROCK STARS HAVE SPONGES AND AMMONIA" "LYING AROUND THE BATHROOM?" "YOU THINK THEY WOULD TIDY UP?" "LOOK, IN THESE MATTERS," "NEVER ACT ON INSTINCT." "ALWAYS DO THE OPPOSITE." "THIS IS HOW YOU OPERATE?" "YEAH, I WISH." "LET ME JUST WIPE THE SINK." "WHY EVEN GIVE HER AN OPTION FOR?" "IT'S UNBELIEVABLE." "YEAH." "HOW'S THE REAL ESTATE BUSINESS?" "IT'S, UH, NOT BAD." "IT'S COMING ALONG." "WHY?" "DID YOU NEED SOMETHING?" "YOU HANDLE ANY OF THAT COMMERCIAL..." "WHOOSH!" "..." "REAL ESTATE THAT..." "SHOO!" "WELL, I MIGHT BE GETTING INTO THAT." "YOU KEEP ME POSTED." "I'M AWARE OF YOU." "LET'S GO!" "LET'S GO!" "IF ONLY YOU COULD ASK A WOMAN WHAT SHE'S THINKING." "WHAT A WORLD THAT WOULD BE." "INSTEAD, I'M LIKE A DETECTIVE PICKING UP CLUES." "THE WHOLE THING'S A MURDER INVESTIGATION." "DON'T GET WORKED UP." "YOU'LL KNOW THE WHOLE STORY WHEN SHE ARRIVES." "REALLY?" "HOW?" "IF SHE PUTS THE BAGS DOWN BEFORE SHE GREETS YOU," "THAT'S A GOOD SIGN." "ANYTHING AROUND THE LIPS IS GOOD." "A HUG, DEFINITELY GOOD." "SUPPOSE IT'S ONE OF THOSE HUGS" "WHERE THE SHOULDERS TOUCH," "THE HIPS ARE 8 FEET APART?" "ALSO, A SHAKE IS BAD." "BUT WHAT IF IT'S THE TWO-HANDER" "ONE ON THE BOTTOM, ONE ON THE TOP?" "HAND SANDWICH?" "IT'S OPEN TO INTERPRETATION." "IT DEPENDS ON THE LAYERING," "THE QUALITY OF THE WETNESS IN THE EYES." "GUESS WHO!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HE" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY!" "HEY, HEY!" "HEY!" "IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU." "HI." "THIS IS MY FRIEND GEORGE." "HI." "THIS IS LAURA." "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE." "AHH." "WOW." "UM, UH..." "THE BAGS." "OH, YEAH!" "HERE, LAURA." "I'M SORRY." "OH, THANK YOU." "THAT WAS AN INTERESTING GREETING, GEORGE." "YES, THE SURPRISE BLINDFOLD GREETING." "THAT WASN'T IN THE MANUAL." "SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?" "WHOA." "WOW." "THIS PLACE ISN'T SO BAD." "YEAH, IT KIND OF MOTIVATES ME" "TO WORK ON THE ROAD." "SO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME." "AHH..." "SO, UH, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING" "UH, BREAD, WATER..." "SALAD DRESSING?" "ACTUALLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY WINE?" "UH, YEAH, I THINK I DO." "DO YOU MIND IF I TURN THIS DOWN?" "UH, NO." "YEAH, GO--GO RIGHT AHEAD." "YEAH." "JERRY, I WAS WONDERING." "WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE" "AND IF IT'S NOT, FINE" "FOR ME TO STAY HERE TOMORROW NIGHT, TOO?" "UH, YEAH." "YEAH, SURE." "YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU STAY?" "YEAH, UM..." "WHAT'S YOUR SCHEDULE FOR TOMORROW?" "ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING?" "NO." "I'D LOVE TO DO SOMETHING." "AFTER MY SEMINAR, I'M WIDE OPEN." "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?" "WELL..." "I KNOW THIS SOUNDS TOURISTY," "BUT I'D LOVE TO GO" "ON A FIVE-HOUR BOAT RIDE AROUND MANHATTAN." "YEAH, WE COULD DO THAT." "WHY NOT?" "WHY NOT?" "I'M JUST--I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE." "[TELEPHONE RINGS]" "[RING]" "HELLO." "YES." "YES, SHE IS." "HOLD ON." "IT'S FOR YOU." "OH." "HELLO?" "HI!" "NO, NO." "IT WAS GREAT, RIGHT ON TIME." "NO." "I'M GOING TO STAY HERE TOMORROW." "YES, YES, IT'S FINE." "NO." "WE'RE GOING ON A BOAT RIDE." "OH, UH..." "DON'T BE SILLY." "I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION." "LOOK, I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW." "OK." "BYE." "[SIGHS] NEVER GET ENGAGED." "YOU'RE ENGAGED?" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE" "UNTIL YOU DO IT." "I'M ON THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER." "YOU'RE ENGAGED?" "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT MYSELF SOMETIMES." "YOU HAVE TO START THINKING IN TERMS OF "WE."" "IT'S A VERY STRESSFUL SITUATION." "YOU'RE ENGAGED." "YEAH." "HE'S A GREAT GUY." "YEAH." "YOU'D REALLY LIKE HIM." "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET ON THAT BOAT." "ME, TOO." "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOMEN ARE THINKING." "I ADMIT, I-- I'M NOT GETTING THE SIGNALS." "I'M NOT GETTING IT." "WOMEN, THEY'RE SO SUBTLE." "THEIR LITTLE--EVERYTHING THEY DO IS SUBTLE." "MEN AREN'T SUBTLE." "WE'RE OBVIOUS." "WOMEN KNOW WHAT MEN WANT." "MEN KNOW WHAT MEN WANT." "WHAT DO WE WANT?" "WE WANT WOMEN." "THAT'S IT." "IT'S THE ONLY THING WE KNOW FOR SURE." "IT REALLY IS." "WE WANT WOMEN." "HOW DO WE GET THEM?" "WE DON'T KNOW." "THE STEP AFTER THAT, WE HAVE NO IDEA." "THIS IS WHY MEN HONK HORNS," "YELL FROM CONSTRUCTION SITES." "THESE ARE THE BEST IDEAS WE'VE HAD SO FAR." "THE CAR HORN HONK-- IS THAT THE BEAUTY?" "HAVE YOU SEEN MEN DOING THIS?" "THE MAN'S IN THE CAR." "THE WOMAN WALKS BY THE CAR." "HE HONKS THE" "[HONK HONK]" "[HONK HONK]" "THIS MAN IS OUT OF IDEAS." "HOW DOES HE" "[HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK]" "I DON'T THINK SHE LIKES ME." "THE AMAZING THING IS THAT WE STILL GET WOMEN." "MEN ARE WITH WOMEN." "YOU SEE MEN WITH WOMEN." ""HOW ARE MEN GETTING WOMEN?" MANY PEOPLE WONDER." "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT OUR ORGANIZATION." "CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY COLUMBIA TRISTAR DOMESTIC TELEVISION" "WHEREVER WOMEN ARE," "WE HAVE A MAN WORKING ON THE SITUATION RIGHT NOW." "NOW, HE MAY NOT BE OUR BEST MAN." "OK, WE HAVE A LOT OF AREAS TO COVER," "BUT SOMEONE FROM OUR STAFF IS ON THE SCENE." "THAT'S WHY I THINK MEN GET FRUSTRATED" "WHEN WE SEE WOMEN READING ARTICLES" "LIKE WHERE TO MEET MEN." "WE'RE HERE." "WE ARE EVERYWHERE." "WE'RE HONKING OUR HORNS TO SERVE YOU BETTER."