"# And keep your retirement #" "#And your so-called social security #" "# Big city, turn me loose and set me free... #" "I'm Jerry Lundegaard." "You're Jerry Lundegaard?" "Yeah." "Shep Proudfoot said..." "Shep said you'd be here at 7:30." "What gives, man?" "Shep said 8:30." "We've been sitting here an hour." "He's peed three times already." "I'm sure sorry." "Shep told me 8:30." "It was a mix-up, I guess." "You got the car?" "Yeah." "You bet." "It's out in the lot there, brand-new, burnt umber Cierra." "Yeah, okay." "Well, sit down, then." "I'm Carl Showalter." "This is my associate, Gaear Grimsrud." "Yeah." "How you doing?" "So, we all set on this thing, then?" "Sure, Jerry." "We're all set." "Why wouldn't we be?" "Yeah, no, I'm sure you are." "Shep vouched for you and all." "I got every confidence here in you fellas." "I guess that's it, then." "Here are the keys." "No, that's not it, Jerry." "Huh?" "The new vehicle plus $40,000." "Yeah, but the deal was the car first, then the 40,000, like as if it was the ransom." "I thought Shep told you." "Shep didn't tell us much, Jerry." "Well, okay..." "Except that you were gonna be here at 7:30." "Yeah, well, that was a mix-up, then." "Yeah, you already said that." "Yeah, but it's not a whole pay-in-advance deal." "See, I give you a brand-new vehicle in advance, and then..." "I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry." "Okay." "I'm not gonna sit here and debate." "I will say this, though." "What Shep told us didn't make a whole lot of sense." "Oh, no." "It's real sound." "It's all worked out." "You want your own wife kidnapped." "Yeah." "You..." "My point is, you pay the ransom, what, 80,000 bucks?" "I mean, you give us half the ransom, 40,000, you keep half." "It's like robbing Peter to pay Paul." "It doesn't make any sense." "Okay, see, it's not me paying the ransom." "The thing is, my wife, she's wealthy." "Her dad, he's real well-off." "Now, I'm in a bit of trouble." "What kind of trouble you in, Jerry?" "Well, that's..." "I'm not gonna get into..." "See, I just need the money." "Now, her dad, he's real well-off." "So, why don't you just ask him for the money?" "Or your fucking wife, you know?" "Or your fucking wife, Jerry?" "Well..." "It's all part of this..." "They don't know I need it, see?" "Okay, so there's that." "And even if they did, I wouldn't get it, so there's that on top, then." "See, these are personal matters." "Personal matters?" "Yeah, personal matters that needn't..." "Okay, Jerry." "You're tasking us to perform this mission, but you won't..." "You won't..." "Fuck it." "Let's take a look at that Cierra." "Hon?" "Hi, hon!" "Welcome back!" "How was Fargo?" "Yeah, real good." "Dad's here." "Leads the Badgers in goal production with five this year." "How you doing, Wade?" "Yeah, pretty good." "What you watching there?" "Gophers." "Who they playing?" "Ooh!" "Is he staying for supper, then?" "Yeah." "I think so." "Dad?" "What?" "Are you staying for supper?" "Yeah." "May I be excused?" "You done there?" "Uh-huh." "I'm going out." "Where are you going?" "Just out." "Just McDonald's." "Back at 9:30." "Okay." "He just ate." "He didn't finish." "Going to McDonald's instead of finishing here." "He sees his friends there." "It's okay." "It's okay, McDonald's?" "What do you think they do there?" "They don't drink milk shakes, I assure you." "It's okay, Dad." "Wade, have you had a chance to think about that deal I was talking about, those 40 acres there, in Wayzata?" "You told me about it." "Yeah, you said you'd have to think about it." "I understand." "It's a lot of money." "It's a heck of a lot." "What did you say you were gonna put there?" "A lot." "It's a..." "I know it's a lot." "I mean a parking lot." "Well, 750,000 is a lot." "Yeah, well, it's a chunk, but..." "I had a couple lots, late 50s." "Lost a lot of money." "A lot of money." "Yeah, but the difference..." "I thought you were gonna show it to Stan Grossman." "He passes on this stuff before it gets kicked up to me." "Well, Stan'll say, "No dice. " That's why you pay him." "I'm asking you here, Wade." "This could work out real good for me and Jean and Scotty." "Jean and Scotty never have to worry." "Where is Pancakes House?" "What?" "We stop at Pancakes House." "What are you, nuts?" "We had pancakes for breakfast." "Gotta go to a place where I can get a shot and a beer and a steak, maybe." "Not more fucking pancakes." "Come on." "Oh, come on, man." "Okay." "Here's an idea." "We can stop outside of Brainerd." "I know a place there where we can get laid." "What do you think?" "I'm fucking hungry now, you know." "Yeah, yeah, Jesus." "I'm saying we can stop, get pancakes, and then we'll get laid, all right?" "Lou Diamond, ¡ine one." "We sat right here in this room and went over this and over this." "Yeah, but that TruCoat..." "I sat right here and said I didn't want any TruCoat." "Yeah, but I'm saying that TruCoat." "You don't get it, you get oxidation problems." "It'll cost you a heck of a lot more than $500." "You're sitting there." "You're talking in circles." "You're talking like we didn't go over this already." "Yeah, but this TruCoat..." "We had a deal here for 19,500." "You sat there and darned if you didn't tell me you'd get me this car, these options, without the sealant, for 19,500." "All right, I'm not saying I didn't." "You called me 20 minutes ago and said you had it ready to make delivery." "You says, "Come on down and get it. "" "And here you are, and you're wasting my time and my wife's time, and I'm paying 19,500 for this vehicle here." "All right." "I'll talk to my boss." "See, they install that TruCoat at the factory." "There's nothing we can do, but I'll talk to my boss." "These guys here." "These guys." "It's always the same." "It's always more." "You going to the Gophers on Sunday?" "Oh, you betcha." "You wouldn't have an extra ticket?" "You kidding?" "Well, he never done this before, but seeing as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock $100 off that TruCoat." "100?" "You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard." "You're a bald-faced liar." "Bucky, please." "A fucking liar." "Bucky, please." "Where's my goddamn checkbook?" "Let's get this over with." "Where is it?" "From Hollywood, The Tonight Show, starring..." "I am talking about your potential." "Mmm-hmm." "You're not a C student." "Yeah." "Yet you're getting C grades." "It's that disparity there that concerns your dad and me." "Uh-huh." "You know what a disparity is?" "Yeah!" "Okay!" "Well, that's why we..." "We don't want you going out for hockey." "Oh, man!" "Come on." "What's the big deal?" "It's just an hour..." "Hold on." "What's the big deal?" "Hello?" "Yeah, hiya, hon." "Oh, hi, Dad." "Is Jerry around?" "Yeah." "Hon!" "Yeah, he's here." "Yeah, I'll catch him for you." "Hon!" "Yeah?" "It's Dad." "Okay." "Look, Dad, there's no fucking way..." "Scotty!" "Hey, let's watch that language there." "How you doing there, Wade?" "What's going on there?" "Nothing, Wade." "How you doing there?" "Stan Grossman looked at your proposal." "He says it's pretty sweet." "No kidding?" "Might be interested." "No kidding?" "I'd need the cash pretty quick there, in order to close the deal." "Come by at 2:30." "We'¡ta¡k about it." "If your numbers are right, Stan says it's pretty sweet." "Stan, you know, Grossman." "Yeah." "2:30." "Yeah." "Okay." "Say, Shep, how you doing there?" "Say, you know those two fellas you put me in touch with up there in Fargo?" "I put you in touch with Grimsrud." "Yeah, well, he had a buddy there." "He..." "Then I don't vouch for him." "Well, that's okay." "I vouch for Grimsrud." "Who's his buddy?" "Carl something." "Never heard of him." "Don't vouch for him." "Well, that's okay." "He's a buddy of the guy you vouched for, so I'm not worried." "I just..." "I was wondering, see, I got to get in touch with him." "See, this deal I needed him for, I may not need it anymore." "Something's happening, see." "Call him up." "Yeah, well, see, I did that, and I haven't been able to get him, so I thought maybe you'd know an alternate number, or what have you." "Nope." "Okay." "Well..." "Real good, then." "Can you crack a fucking window open, man?" "You know, it's proven that secondhand smoke is..." "You know, a cancer agent." "Hey, look at that." "Twin Cities." "That's the IDS Building, the big glass one." "Tallest skyscraper in the Midwest after the Sears in Chicago, or John Hancock building, whatever." "You ever been to Minneapolis?" "No." "Would it kill you to say something?" "I did." ""No. " That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours." "That's a..." "That's a fountain of conversation, man." "That's a geyser." "I mean, whoa, daddy." "Stand back, man." "Shit." "I'm sitting here driving." "I'm doing all the driving, man, whole fucking way from Brainerd, driving." "Just trying to chat." "You know, keep our spirits up, fight the boredom of the road, and you can't say one fucking thing just in the way of conversation?" "Oh, fuck it." "I don't have to talk either, man." "See how you like it." "Just total fucking silence." "Two could play at that game, smart guy." "We'll just see how you like it." "Total silence." "Mr. Lundegaard, this is Reilly Diefenbach from GMAC." "How are you this morning?" "Real good." "How you doing?" "Pretty good, Mr. Lundegaard." "You're damn hard to get on the phone." "It's pretty darn busy here, but that's the way we like it." "We¡, that's for sure." "Now, I just need on these ¡ast, these financing documents that you sent us," "I can't read the seria¡numbers of the vehic¡es." "Yeah, but I already got the..." "It's okay." "The loans are in place." "I already got the..." "What?" "The..." "Yeah, the 320,000." "You got the money ¡ast month." "Yeah, so we're all set, then." "Yeah, but the vehic¡es that you're borrowing on," "I just can't read the seria¡numbers on your application." "Maybe if you could just read..." "Yeah, but the deal's already done." "I already got the money." "Yes, but if we have an audit here," "I just have to know that these vehic¡es you're financing with this money, that they really exist." "Yeah, well, they exist, all right." "I'm sure they do, but I can't read the seria¡numbers here, so if you could read me..." "Yeah, but..." "See..." "I don't have them in front of me." "Why don't I just fax you over a copy?" "No, we¡, no, fax is no good." "That's what ¡have, and I can't read the darn thing." "Yeah, okay." "I'll have my girl send you a copy, then." "Okay, because if I can't corre¡ate this note with the specific vehicles, then I got to call back that money." "Yeah, how much money was that?" "320, 000." "I got to correlate that money with the cars it's being lent on." "Yeah." "Okay, no problem." "I'll just fax that right over." "No, no, no." "Fax..." "I mean, send it over." "I'll shoot it right over to you, then." "Okay, okay." "Fine." "Okay." "Real good, then." "We're back with Katie Car¡son." "Hi." "Now, before we get going here, we just want to remind a¡of our viewers at home that this March, for the second year in a row," "Katie and ¡, along with Twin City Travel, will be leading a two-week riverboat trip down the Ni¡e." "It's a terrific time." "I know you've heard about it." "We want all of you to come with, and that's the truth." "Okay, now, for those of you that just joined us," "Katie here, this morning, is going to show us how to make Holidazzle eggs ourse¡ves, at home." "Now, Katie, I gotta admit..." "What?" "I was a little bit surprised when I first picked this up." "Right." "This is an empty egg." "That's right, Dale." "Well, how do you get the egg..." "There was an egg in here, right?" "Yeah." "Okay, well, I don't..." "How do you..." "I mean, you don't have an empty chicken somewhere that lays empty eggs?" "No, no." "I guarantee, this was an honest-to-goodness..." "Unguent." "What?" "I need unguent." "No." "You want to do it?" "Push." "How are you, Stan?" "How you doing, Wade?" "Good to see you again, Jerry." "If these numbers are right, this looks pretty sweet." "Those numbers are right, all right." "Believe me." "This is doable." "Congratulations, Jer." "Yeah, thanks, Stan." "Well, it's a pretty..." "What kind of finder's fee were you looking for?" "Huh?" "The financials are pretty thorough, so the only thing we don't know is your fee." "My fee?" "Wade, what the heck are you talking about?" "Stan and I are okay." "Yeah." "We're good to load in." "Yeah." "But we never talked about your fee for bringing it to us." "No, but, Wade, see, I was bringing you this deal for you to loan me the money to put in." "It's my deal here, see." "Jerry, we thought you were bringing us an investment." "Yeah." "Right." "You're saying..." "What are you saying?" "You're saying we put in all the money, and you collect when it pays off." "No, no." "See..." "But I'd..." "I'd pay you back the principal and interest." "Heck, I'd go one over prime?" "We're not a bank, Jerry." "If I wanted bank interest on 750,000," "I'd go to Midwest Federal, talk to old Bill Diehl." "He's at North Star." "He's at..." "No, no." "See, I..." "I don't need a finder's fee." "I need..." "Finder's fee is, what, 10%?" "Heck, that's not gonna do it for me." "I need the principal." "Well, Jerry, we're not gonna just give you $750,000." "What the heck were you thinking?" "If I'm only getting bank interest," "I want complete security." "Heck, FDIC." "I don't see nothing like that here." "Yeah, but I..." "Okay." "I..." "I guarantee you your money back." "I'm not talking about your damn word, Jerry." "Jeez!" "What the heck are you..." "We're not a bank, Jerry." "Well, look." "I don't want to cut you out of the loop, but this here's a good deal." "I assume, if you're not interested, you won't mind if we move on it independently." "Damn it!" "Hon?" "I got the groceries!" "Yeah, Wade, hi." "It's Jerry." "I..." "Wade, it's Jerry." "I don't know what to do." "It's Jean." "I don't know what to do." "It's my wife." "I don't know what to do." "It's Jean." "Yeah, Wade, I..." "It's Jerry." "I..." "Wade, it's Jerry." "I..." "We gotta talk." "It's something..." "Jeez." "It's terrible." "Yeah, Wade Gustafson, please." "Shut the fuck up, or I'll throw you back into the trunk, you know." "Jesus, that's more than I've heard you say all week." "Shit." "Oh, the tags." "All right, it's just the tags." "I never put my tags on the car." "All right, don't worry." "I'll take care of this." "All right, just keep it still back there, lady, or else we're gonna have to, you know, to shoot you." "Hey, I'll take care of this." "How can I help you, Officer?" "This is a new car, then, sir?" "It certainly is, Officer." "Still got that smell." "You're required to display temporary tags, either in the plate area or taped to the inside of the back window." "Certainly." "Can I see your license and registration, please?" "Certainly." "Yeah, I was gonna tape up those..." "The tag." "You know, to be in full compliance, but it must have..." "It must have slipped my mind." "So maybe the best thing to do would be to take care of that right here in Brainerd." "What's this, sir?" "My license and registration." "Yeah, I want to be in compliance." "I was just thinking we could take care of it right here, in Brainerd." "Put that back in your pocket, please, and step out of the car, please, sir." "Shut the fuck up." "Whoa." "Whoa, daddy." "You'll take care of it." "You are smooth, smooth, you know?" "Oh, daddy." "Just clear him off the road." "Yeah." "No!" "Oh, jeez." "Hi." "It's Marge." "Oh, my." "Where?" "Yeah?" "Oh, jeez." "Okay." "There in a jiff." "Real good, then." "You can sleep." "It's early yet." "Got to go?" "Yeah." "I'll fix you some eggs." "It's okay, hon." "I gotta run." "You got to eat a breakfast, Marge." "I'll fix you some eggs." "Hon, you can sleep." "You gotta eat a breakfast." "I'll fix you some eggs." "Norm." "Thanks, hon." "Time to shove off." "Love you, Margie." "Love you, hon." "Hon?" "Yeah?" "Prowler needs a jump." "Hiya, Lou." "What you got there?" "Margie, thought you might need a little warm-up." "Thanks a bunch." "So what's the deal now?" "Gary says triple homicide?" "Yeah, looks pretty bad." "Two of them are over here." "Where is everybody?" "Well, it's cold, Margie." "Watch your step, Margie." "Jeez." "So..." "Jeez!" "Here's the second one!" "It's in the head and the hand there." "I guess that's a defensive wound." "Oh, yeah?" "Where's the state trooper?" "Back there a good piece, in the ditch next to his prowler." "Okay." "So we got a trooper pulls someone over." "We got a shooting." "These folks drive by." "There's a high-speed pursuit, ends here, and then this execution-type deal." "Yeah." "I'd be very surprised if our suspect was from Brainerd." "Yeah." "And I'll tell you what." "From his footprint, he looks like a big fella." "You see something down there, Chief?" "No." "I just think I'm gonna barf." "Jeez." "You okay, Margie?" "Yeah." "I'm fine." "It's just morning sickness." "Well, that passed." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Now I'm hungry again." "You have breakfast yet, Margie?" "Oh, yeah." "Norm made some eggs." "Yeah?" "Well..." "What now, do you think?" "Let's go take a look at that trooper." "There's different footprints here, Lou." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "This guy's smaller than his buddy." "Oh, yeah?" "For Pete's sake." "How's it look, Marge?" "Well, he's got his gun on his hip there, and he looks like a nice enough guy." "It's a real shame." "Yeah." "Didn't monkey with his car there, did you?" "No way." "Well, somebody shut his lights." "I guess the little guy sat in there waiting for his buddy to come back." "Yeah, it would have been cold out here." "Heck, yeah." "You think is Dave open yet?" "Dave?" "You don't think he's mixed up in..." "Oh, no, no." "I just want to get Norm some night crawlers." "Did you look in his citation book?" "Yeah." "Last vehicle he wrote in was a tan Cierra at 2:18 a.m." "Under plate number he put "DLR."" "I figure they stopped him or shot him before he could finish filling out the tag number." "So, I got the State looking for a Cierra with a tag starting "DLR"." "They don't got no match yet." "I'm not sure that I agree with you 100% on your police work there, Lou." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "I think that vehicle there probably had dealer plates." ""DLR."" "Oh." "Jeez." "Say, Lou, did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L-2404?" "Yeah." "That's a good one." "Look, all's I know is, you got a problem, you call a professional." "No." "They said no cops." "They were darn clear on that, Wade." "They said, "You call your cops, and we're gonna shoot... "" "Of course they're gonna say that." "Where's my protection?" "They got Jean here." "If I give these sons of bitches $1 million, where's my guarantee they're gonna let her go?" "Well, they... $1 million is a lot of damn money." "Yeah, but..." "There they are." "They got my daughter." "Think this thing through here, Wade." "You give them what they want, why won't they let her go?" "You got to listen to me on this one, Wade." "Heck, you don't know." "You're just whistling Dixie here." "I'm saying the cops, they can advise us on this." "I'm saying call a professional." "No." "No cops." "That's final." "This is my deal here, Wade." "Yeah." "Jean is my wife here." "I gotta tell you, Wade, I'm leaning to Jerry's viewpoint here." "Well..." "We got to protect Jean." "These..." "We're not holding any cards here, Wade." "They got them all." "So they call the shots." "You're darn tooting." "Oh, damn it." "I'm telling you." "Well, why don't we..." "Stan, I'm thinking we should offer them a half a million." "Now, come on here!" "No way, Wade." "No way." "We're not horse-trading here, Wade." "Yeah." "We gotta just bite the bullet on this thing." "Yeah." "So, well, what's the next step here, Jerry?" "They're gonna call me up and give me instructions for a drop." "I'm supposed to have the money ready tomorrow." "Damn it!" "How was everything today?" "Yeah." "Real good, now." "How you doing?" "Okay." "Now, we'll get the money together." "Don't worry about it, Jerry." "Now, do you want anyone at home with you till they call?" "No, I..." "They don't..." "They were just supposed to be dealing with me." "They were real clear." "Yeah." "You know, they said no one listening in." "They'll be watching." "You know, maybe it's all bull, but like you said, Stan, they're calling the shots." "Okay." "Now, is Scotty gonna be all right?" "Yeah." "Jeez." "Scotty." "Yeah." "I'll go talk to him." "How you doing there, Scotty?" "Dad..." "What are they doing?" "What do you think they're doing with Mom?" "It's okay, Scotty." "They're not gonna wanna hurt her any." "These men, they just want money." "Yeah, well, what if something goes wrong, Dad?" "No, no." "Nothing's going wrong here." "Granddad and I, we're, we're making sure this gets handled right." "I really think we should call the cops here." "No." "No." "No one can know about this thing." "We gotta play ball with these guys." "You ask Stan Grossman, he'll tell you the same thing." "Yeah." "But, Dad..." "We're gonna get Mom back for you, but we gotta play ball." "You know?" "That's the deal here." "So if Lorraine calls, or Sylvia, you just say Mom's down in Florida, with Pearl and Marty." "That's the best we can do here." "No!" "No!" "Oh, God." "Lunchtime." "Thanks, Margaret." "Hi." "Hey." "Willy." "Carol." "Janie, two more of those Skin So Soft, please." "Sure thing." "Hiya, hon." "I brought you some lunch, Margie." "What are those?" "Night crawlers?" "Yeah." "Oh, thanks, hon." "You bet." "Thanks for lunch." "Yeah." "Looks pretty good." "What do we got here, Arby's?" "How's the painting going?" "Pretty good." "Found out the Hautmans are entering a painting this year." "Hon, you're better than them." "They're real good." "They're good, Norm, but you're better than them." "You think so?" "Hey, you got Arby's all over me." "Hiya, Norm." "How's the painting going?" "Not too bad." "You know." "How we doing on that vehicle?" "Well, no motels registered any tan Cierra last night, but the night before, two men checked into the Blue Ox, registering a Cierra and leaving the tag space blank." "Jeez, that's a good lead." "Yeah." "Blue Ox, that's that truckers' joint out there on I-35?" "Yeah." "Owner was on the desk then." "Said these two had company." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "Yeah, we both did." "She went to college, too." "I went to Normandale for about a year and a half." "Yeah, that's where we met." "But I dropped out, though." "Yeah." "She dropped." "Yeah." "So where you girls from?" "Chaska." "Le Sueur." "But I went to high school in White Bear Lake." "Go Bears." "Okay." "I want you to tell me what these fellows looked like." "Well, the little guy, he was kind of funny-looking." "In what way?" "I don't know." "Just funny-looking." "Can you be any more specific?" "I couldn't really say." "He wasn't circumcised." "Was he funny-looking apart from that?" "Yeah." "So, you were having sex with the little fella, then." "Uh-huh." "Is there anything else you can tell me about him?" "No." "Like I say, he was funny-looking." "More than most people, even." "What about the other fella?" "He was a little older." "You know, he looked like the Marlboro Man." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "But maybe I'm saying that, you know, 'cause he smoked a lot of Marlboros." "You know, like a subconscious type of thing." "Oh, yeah, that can happen." "Yeah." "Hey, they said they were going to the Twin Cities." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah!" "Yeah, is that useful to you?" "You betcha." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Come on!" "Goddamn it!" "Jesus Christ." "Fucking shitbox." "Been here for days." "Damn it." "Nothing to do." "Fucking TV doesn't even..." "Damn it, come on!" "Plug me in, man." "Give me a fucking signal." "Goddamn it!" "Unbelievable!" "Come on!" "God..." "Fuck!" "Come on, plug me into the ozone, baby!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "The bark beet¡e carries the worm to its nest where it will feed its young for up to six months." "In the spring, the ¡arvae hatch, and the cycle begins again." "Well..." "I'm turning in, Norm." "Oh, yeah?" "Here it is, throwing off the larval envelope." "Hello?" "Yeah." "Is this Marge?" "Yeah." "Margie Olmstead?" "Yeah." "Who's this?" "This is Mike Yanagita!" "You know, Mike Yanagita." "Remember me?" "Mike Yanagita?" "Yeah!" "Well, yeah!" "Course I remember you." "How are you doing?" "What time is it?" "Oh, jeez." "It's 10:45." "I hope I didn't wake you." "No." "That's okay." "Yeah, ¡'m down in the Twin Cities, and I was just watching on TV about these shootings up in Brainerd." "And I saw you on the news there." "Yeah." "I thought, "Jeez, is that Margie Olmstead?"" "I can't be¡ieve it." "Yeah, that's me." "We¡, how the heck are you?" "Okay." "You know." "Okay." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "How you doing?" "Pretty good." "Well, heck." "It's been such a long time, Mike." "It's great to hear from you." "Yeah, you got your..." "This is loaded here." "This has your independent..." "Your front-wheel drive, rack-and-pinion steering, antilock brakes, alarm, radar, and I can give it to you with a heck of a sealant." "This TruCoat stuff, it'll keep the salt off." "Yeah, I don't need no sealant, though." "Yeah." "You don't need that." "Now, were you thinking of financing here?" "You ought to be aware of this GMAC plan they have now." "It's really super." "Got a call for you, Jerry." "Yeah, okay." "Jerry Lundegaard." "All right, Jerry, you got the phone to yourself?" "Well, yeah." "You know who this is?" "Well, yeah, I got an idea." "How's that Cierra working out for you?" "Circumstances have changed, Jerry." "Well..." "What do you mean?" "Things have changed." "Circumstances, Jerry, beyond the acts of God." "Force majeure." "What the..." "How's Jean?" "Who's Jean?" "My wife." "What the..." "She's all right, but there's three people up in Brainerd who aren't so okay, I'll tell you that." "What the heck are you talking about?" "Let's just finish this deal up here." "B¡ood has been shed, Jerry." "What the heck do you mean?" "Three people in Brainerd." "Oh, jeez." "That's right, and we need more money." "What the heck are you talking about?" "What do you fellas got yourself mixed up in?" "We need more money..." "This was supposed to be a no-rough-stuff type deal." "Don't ever interrupt me, Jerry!" "Just shut the fuck up!" "Well, I'm sorry, but I just, I..." "I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry." "I'm not gonna debate!" "We now want the entire 80,000." "Oh, for Christ's sake here." "B¡ood has been shed." "We've incurred risk, Jerry." "I'm coming into town tomorrow." "You have the money ready." "Now, we had a deal here." "A deal's a deal." "Is it, Jerry?" "You ask those three poor souls up in Brainerd if a dea¡'s a dea¡." "Go ahead, ask them!" "The heck do you mean?" ""The heck do you mean?" I'll see you tomorrow." "Yeah?" "Jerome Lundegaard?" "Yeah." "This is Reilly Diefenbach at GMAC." "Sir, ¡'ve not received those vehic¡e IDs you promised." "Yeah." "I..." "Those are in the mail." "That very well may be." "I must inform you, however, that absent the receipt of those numbers by tomorrow afternoon," "I will have to refer this matter to our legal department." "Yeah." "My patience is at an end." "Yeah." "Good day, sir." "Yeah." "Hi, Norm." "How you doing, Margie?" "How's the fricassee?" "Pretty darn good." "You want some?" "Oh, no." "I got..." "Hey, Norm, I thought you was going ice fishing up at Mille Lacs." "Yeah." "After lunch." "What you got there?" "The numbers you asked for." "Calls made from the lobby pay phone at the Blue Ox." "Two to Minneapolis that night." "First one's a trucking company and second one's a private residence, a Shep Proudfoot." "A what?" "Shep Proudfoot." "That's a name." "Yeah." "Okay." "Yeah." "Think I'll take a drive down there, then." "Oh, yeah?" "Twin Cities." "Oh, yeah?" "Damn it, I want to be a part of this thing." "No." "Wade, they were real clear." "They said they'd call tomorrow with instructions, and it's gotta be delivered by me alone." "It's my money, I'll deliver it." "What do they care?" "Wade's got a point, there." "I'll handle the call if you want, Jerry." "No, no." "See, they..." "No." "See, they only deal with me." "You feel this nervousness on the phone there." "They're very..." "These guys are dangerous." "All the more reason." "I don't want you..." "With all due respect, Jerry, I don't want you mucking this up." "What the heck do you mean?" "They want my money, they can deal with me." "Otherwise, I'm going to a professional." "No, see..." "There's $1 million here." "No." "See..." "Look, Jerry, you're not selling me a damn car!" "It's my show here." "That's that!" "It's the way we'd prefer to handle it, Jerry." "Hi." "How you doing?" "Real good." "How are you doing today, ma'am?" "I'm doing really super there." "Thanks." "I'm Mrs. Gunderson." "I have a reservation." "Yep." "You sure do, Mrs. Gunderson." "Is there a phone down here, you think?" "Detective Sibert?" "Yeah, this is Marge Gunderson from up Brainerd." "We spoke." "Yeah." "Well, actually, I'm in town here." "I had to do a few things in the Twin Cities, so I thought I'd check in with you about that USFI search on Shep Proudfoot." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, maybe I'll go visit with him if I have..." "No." "I can find that." "Yeah." "Well, thanks a bunch." "Say, say, would you happen to know a good place for lunch in the downtown area?" "The Radisson." "Oh, yeah?" "Is it reasonable?" "Hi." "How you doing?" "Yeah." "I decided not to park here." "Well, what do you mean?" "You decided not to park here?" "Yeah, I just came in and I decided not to park here, so..." "But..." "Well, I'm sorry, sir..." "Yeah, I decided not to..." "I..." "You know, I'm not..." "I decided not to take the trip, as it turns out, so..." "Well, I'm sorry, sir, we still got to charge you the $4." "I just pulled in here." "I just fucking pulled in here." "Well, but..." "See, there's a minimum charge of $4." "Long-term parking charges by the day." "I guess you think you're, you know, like an authority figure." "That stupid fucking uniform, huh, buddy?" "King clip-on tie there." "Big fucking man, huh?" "You know, these are the limits of your life, man." "Ruler of your little fucking gate here." "Here." "There's your $4, you pathetic piece of shit." "Where's Shep?" "Talking to a cop." "Cop?" "Said she was a cop." "So do you remember getting a call Wednesday night?" "Nope." "You do reside there at 1425 Freemont Terrace?" "Yep." "Anyone else residing there?" "No." "Well, Mr. Proudfoot, this call came in past 3:00 in the morning." "It's just hard for me to believe you don't remember anyone calling." "Now, I know you've had some problems." "Struggling with the narcotics, some other entanglements, currently on parole." "So?" "Well, associating with criminals, if you're the one they talked to, that right there would be a violation of your parole." "Would end you up back in Stillwater." "Now, I saw some rough stuff on your priors, but nothing in the nature of a homicide." "I know you don't want to be an accessory to something like that." "So, you think you might remember who those folks were who called you?" "Mr. Lundegaard?" "Yeah." "Could I take just a minute of your time here?" "What is it all about?" "Do you mind if I sit down?" "Carrying quite a load here." "You're the owner here, Mr. Lundegaard?" "No." "I..." "Executive Sales Manager." "Well, you can help me." "My name's Marge Gunderson." "My father-in-law, he's the owner." "Uh-huh." "Well, I'm a police officer from up Brainerd, investigating some malfeasance." "And I was just wondering if you'd had any new vehicles stolen off the lot in the past couple of weeks." "Specifically a tan Cutlass Cierra." "Mr. Lundegaard." "Brainerd." "Yeah, yeah." "Home of Paul Bunyan, Babe, the Blue Ox." "Babe, the Blue Ox." "Yeah, you know, we got that big statue up there." "So, you haven't had any vehicles go missing, then?" "Nope." "No, ma'am." "Okey-dokey." "Thanks a bunch." "I'll let you get back to your paperwork, then." "Service." "Yeah, get me Shep." "He's not here right now." "What the heck do you mean?" "He stepped out." "Where'd he go?" "It's only..." "I'll get you Artie." "No." "I don't need a mechanic." "I need a..." "Jeez." "I gotta talk to a friend of his, so..." "Have him..." "What?" "Oh, jeez." "Mike?" "Marge?" "Jeez!" "Oh, you look great!" "Yeah." "So do you." "Easy there." "Easy..." "Easy there." "Easy there." "You do, too." "I'm expecting now." "I see that." "That's great." "What can I get you?" "Just a Diet Coke, please." "Great." "This is a nice place." "Yeah." "You know, it's the Radisson, so it's pretty good." "Yeah." "So..." "You're living in Edina, then?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "A couple of years now." "It's actually Eden Prairie." "That school district." "So, Chief Gunderson, then!" "So, you went and married Norm son-of-a-Gunderson." "Oh, yeah." "Long time ago." "Great, great." "So, what brings you down?" "Are you down here on that homicide, if you're allowed, you know, to discuss that?" "Oh, yeah, yeah." "But there's not a heck of a lot to discuss." "Okay." "Well, what about you, Mike?" "Are you married?" "You got kids?" "Yeah, yeah." "Well..." "I was married." "I was married to..." "You mind if I sit over here?" "I was married to Linda Cooksey." "No." "Why don't you sit over there?" "I prefer that." "Okay." "Sorry." "No, no." "Just so I can see you." "Don't have to turn my neck." "Sure, sure." "I understand." "I didn't mean to..." "No, no." "That's fine." "Yeah, sorry." "Sorry." "So, I was married to Linda Cooksey." "You remember Linda." "She was a year behind us." "Yeah." "I think I remember her." "Yeah!" "She..." "Oh, yeah!" "So, it didn't work out, huh?" "And then I've been working for Honeywell for a few years now." "Well, they're a good outfit." "Yeah, if you're an engineer, yeah, you could do a lot worse." "But it's not..." "It's nothing like your achievement." "Well, it sounds like you're doing really super." "It's not that..." "It's not that things didn't work out." "It's..." "Linda had leukemia, you know." "She was..." "She passed away." "No." "It was tough." "There you go." "It was long..." "She fought real hard, Marge." "You know..." "So, what can you say?" "Better times, huh?" "Better times." "And then I saw you on the TV and I remembered, you know?" "I always liked you." "Well, I always liked you..." "I always liked you so much." "So, Mike, should we get together another time, you think?" "No!" "I..." "I'm sorry." "It's..." "You know, I shouldn't have done this." "I shouldn't have done this." "I shouldn't." "I thought we'd have a really terrific time." "It's okay, Mike." "You were such a super lady." "And then..." "I've been so lonely." "It's okay, Mike." "Here's a song I dedicate to all the ladies out here tonight." "Goes like this." "Let's find each other tonight" "Everything will be all right" "Don't hesitate now" "Let's find each other tonight" "So..." "Are you from around here?" "Just in town on business." "Just in and out." "Just a little of the old in-and-out." "What do you do?" "I..." "You been to the Celebrity Room before?" "With other clients?" "I don't think so." "It's nice." "Yeah, well, depends on the artist." "You know, Jose Feliciano, you got no complaints." "Waiter!" "What is he, deaf?" "So..." "How long you work for the escort service?" "I don't know." "A few months." "Find that work interesting, do you?" "What are you talking about?" "Right." "Come on." "I'm hearing bells." "Come on." "All right." "Where were you?" "Shep, what the hell are you doing?" "I'm banging that girl." "Fucking asshole." "Get the fuck out of here." "Put me back in Stillwater, you little fucking shithead." "Get the fuck out of here." "Yo!" "Cut that shit out, man." "Trying to get some goddamn sleep here." "Come on, brother..." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you." "Animals!" "Stay away from me, man." "Hey, smoke a fucking peace pipe!" "Don't you dare fucking hit me!" "Fucking little weasel!" "Fuck you, man." "Stop it!" "You fucking, motherfucking, son-of-a-bitching, fucking cock!" "Jesus Christ!" "You fucking shitbag motherfucker!" "Yeah?" "All right, Jerry, I'm through fucking around." "You got the fucking money?" "Yeah, I got the money, but..." "Don't you fucking but me, Jerry." "I want you to put this money in the Dayton Radisson parking ramp, top level, 30 minutes, Jerry, we wrap this thing up." "Okay." "But..." "Hey, you're there in 30 minutes or I find you, Jerry, and I shoot you and I shoot your fucking wife, and I shoot all your little fucking children and I shoot them all in the back of their little fucking heads." "You got it?" "Okay, now, you stay away from Scotty, now." "Got it?" "Okay." "Real good, then." "Dad." "It's okay, Scotty." "Where you going?" "I'll be back in a minute." "If Stan calls, you just tell him I went to Embers." "Okay." "Here's your damn money." "Now, where's my daughter?" "Yeah." "You goddamn punk!" "Who the fuck are you?" "I got your damn money." "Now, where's my daughter?" "I am through fucking around!" "Drop that fucking briefcase!" "Where's my daughter?" "Fuck you, man!" "Where's Jerry?" "I gave simple fucking instructions." "Where's my damn daughter?" "No Jean, no money." "Drop that fucking money!" "No Jean, no money!" "Is this a fucking joke here?" "Oh, jeez." "You happy now, asshole?" "What's with you people?" "You fucking imbeciles!" "You fucking shot me!" "May I have your ticket, please?" "Open the fucking gate!" "Oh, jeez." "Dad?" "Yeah?" "Stan Grossman called." "Yeah." "Okay." "Twice." "Okay." "Is everything okay?" "Yeah." "Are you calling Stan?" "Well, I'm..." "I'm going to bed now." "How you doing?" "Mr. Mohra?" "Yeah?" "Officer Olson." "Yeah." "Righto." "Well..." "So I'm tending bar down there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday, and this little guy's drinking, and he says, "Where can a guy find some action?" ""I'm going crazy out there at the lake. "" "And I says, "What kind of action?"" "And he says, "Woman action." "What do I look like?"" "And I says, "Well, what do I look like?" ""I don't arrange that kind of thing. "" "And he says, "But I'm going crazy out there at the lake. "" "And I says, "Yeah, but this ain't that kind of place. "" "He says, "Oh, so I get it." "So you think I'm some kind of jerk for asking. "" "Only he don't use the word "jerk. "" "I understand." "Then he calls me a jerk, says the last guy thought he's a jerk is dead now." "So, I don't say nothing." "He says, "What do you think about that?"" "And I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then. "" "You got that right." "Yeah, he says, "Yeah, that guy's dead," ""and I don't mean of old age. "" "And then he says, "Jeez, I'm going crazy out there at the lake. "" "White Bear Lake?" "Yeah, well, at Ecklund and Swedlin, that's closer to Moose Lake." "So I made that assumption." "Sure." "Anyway, he's drinking at the bar, so I don't think a whole great deal of it, but then Mrs. Mohra, she heard about the homicides down here and thought I should call it in, so I called it in." "End of story." "Well, what'd this guy look like, anyways?" "Oh, he's a..." "Little guy, kind of funny-looking." "In what way?" "Just in a general kind of way." "Okay." "Well, thanks a bunch, Mr. Mohra." "You're right." "It's probably nothing, but thanks for calling her in." "Sure." "Looks like she's gonna turn cold tomorrow." "Oh, yeah." "Got a front coming in." "Yeah." "You got that right." "Jesus Christ." "Valerie, I'm leaving this morning, back up to Brainerd." "Well, I'm sorry I won't see you." "But you think he's all right?" "I saw him last night and..." "What did he say?" "Well, it's nothing specific he said." "It just seemed like it all hit him really hard, his wife dying." "His wife?" "Linda." "Who?" "Linda Cooksey." "No." "No, no." "They weren't..." "He was bothering Linda for about..." "For a good year." "Really pestering her, wouldn't leave her alone." "So..." "He didn't..." "He never..." "No!" "No, they never married." "Mike's had psychiatric problems." "Oh, my." "Yeah, he's been struggling." "He's living with his parents now." "Oh, jeez." "Linda's fine." "You should call her." "Jeez." "Well..." "Jeez." "That's a surprise." "Hello!" "Mr. Lundegaard, sorry to bother you again." "Can I come in?" "Yeah..." "No." "I'm kind of busy here." "I understand." "I'll keep it real short, then." "I'm on my way out of town, but I was wondering..." "Do you mind if I sit down?" "Carrying a bit of a load here." "No, I..." "Yeah, it's this vehicle I asked about yesterday." "I was just wondering..." "Yeah, like I told you, we haven't had any vehicles go missing." "Okay." "Are you sure?" "'Cause I mean, how do you know?" "Because, see, the crime I'm investigating, the perpetrators were driving a car with dealer plates, and they called someone who works here, so it'd be quite a coincidence if they weren't, you know, connected." "Yeah, I see." "So, how do you..." "Have you done any kind of inventory recently?" "The car's not from our lot, ma'am." "But how do you know that for sure without doing a..." "Well, I would know." "I'm the Executive Sales Manager." "Yeah, but I understand..." "We run a pretty tight ship here." "I know, but..." "Well, how do they establish that, sir?" "I mean, are the cars counted daily, or what kind of a routine here?" "Ma'am, I answered your question." "I'm sorry, sir?" "Ma'am, I answered your question." "I answered the darn..." "I'm cooperating here, and there's no..." "Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me." "I'm just doing my job here." "I'm..." "I'm not..." "I'm not arguing here." "I'm cooperating, and there's no..." "We're doing all we can." "Sir, could I talk to Mr. Gustafson?" "Mr. Lundegaard." "Well, heck!" "If you wanna..." "If you wanna play games here," "I'm working with you on this thing here, but..." "Okay!" "I'll do a damn lot count!" "Sir, right now?" "Yeah!" "Right now." "You're darn tooting!" "If it's so damned important to you." "Well, I'm sorry, sir." "What the Christ!" "Jeez!" "Bob Elcorona, line two." "For Pete's sake." "For Pete's sake, he's fleeing the interview." "He's fleeing the interview!" "How do I get an outside line here?" "All right." "Yeah." "Detective Sibert, please." "I told you it was over, and I thought I made myself very clear." "Oh, you did." "You made yourself perfectly clear." "But something's come up." "What?" "Well, it's something kind of small, but it might be a big problem." "I'm pregnant." "I've had a doctor's test, I've got the certificate, and there's no doubt about it, I'm gonna have your baby." "Now, look here." "I can explain this." "See, Robin was..." "Is a student of mine." "You should see the other guy." "No, no, no." "It wasn't anything like that." "You don't understand!" "I read that letter that she wrote." "I think I understand all there is..." "What happened to her?" "She started shrieking, you know." "Jeez." "Well, I got the money." "All of it, all 80 grand." "That's 40 for you, 40 for me." "That's it, then." "You can have my truck." "I'm taking the Cierra." "We split that." "How the fuck do you split a fucking car, you dummy?" "With a fucking chain saw?" "One of us pays the other for half." "Hold on." "No fucking way." "Did you fucking notice this?" "I got fucking shot!" "I got fucking shot in the face!" "I went and got the fucking money!" "I got shot fucking picking it up!" "I've been up for 36 fucking hours!" "I'm taking that fucking car!" "That fuck is mine, you fucking asshole." "You know, I've been listening to your fucking bullshit all week!" "Are we square?" "Yeah, you fucking mute!" "And if you see your friend, Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his fucking ass." "I'll call you..." "Later." "His wife." "This guy says she was kidnapped last Wednesday." "The day of our homicides." "Yeah." "And this guy was who?" "Lundegaard's father-in-law's accountant." "Gustafson's accountant." "Yeah." "But we still haven't found Gustafson?" "...looking..." "Sorry." "Didn't copy, Lou." "Still missing." "We're looking." "Copy." "And Lundegaard, too?" "Yeah." "Where are you, Margie?" "I'm almost back." "I'm taking a drive around Moose Lake." "Gary's loudmouth." "Yeah, the loudmouth." "So the whole state has it, huh?" "Gustafson and Lundegaard?" "Yeah." "It's over the wire." "It's everywhere." "They'll find them." "Copy." "Yeah, we got a lead on this..." "There's the car!" "There's the car!" "Whose car?" "My car!" "My car!" "Tan Cierra!" "Tan Cierra!" "Okay." "Careful, Margie." "I'll send a couple cars." "Police!" "Hands up!" "Police!" "So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there." "And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper." "And those three people in Brainerd." "And for what?" "For a little bit of money." "There's more to life than a little money, you know?" "Don't you know that?" "And here you are." "And it's a beautiful day." "Well..." "I just don't understand it." "Mr. Anderson?" "Who?" "Mr. Anderson, is this your burgundy '98 out here?" "Just a sec." "Could you open the door, please?" "Yeah, yeah, just a sec." "Just a sec." "Dale!" "My leg!" "No!" "They announced it." "They announced it?" "Yeah." "So?" "Three-cent stamp." "Your mallard?" "Yeah." "That's terrific." "It's just a three-cent." "It's terrific." "Hautman's blue-winged teal got the 29-cent." "People don't much use the three-cent." "Oh, for Pete's..." "Of course they do." "Whenever they raise the postage, people need the little stamps." "Yeah?" "When they're stuck with a bunch of the old ones." "Yeah." "I guess." "That's terrific." "I'm so proud of you, Norm." "Heck, Norm, you know, we're doing pretty good." "I love you, Margie." "I love you, Norm." "Two more months." "Two more months."