"My friends, this is Paris." "Gay, beautiful, wonderful, magnificent Paris." "Paris: the tender mother of romance." "Of love." "Of amour." "But not all the love stories of France begin in Paris." "No, no, no." "There was one, for example, a quite unusual one that began in the hot  sun-drenched region in the south of France  in the province known as Provence." "The time is around the turn of the century." "You call it the Gay Nineties, no?" "But that is beside the point." "This is the story of a little female citizen of France  who is as beautiful and as innocent as her name." "And her name is Mewsette." "No last name." "Just Mewsette." "Hello, Jaune Tom." "Hello, Mewsette." "That was a very nice song you were singing, Jaune Tom." " Please sing some more for me." " Mewsette you know I can't sing it when you're looking at me." "Amour, amour a- mush." "Jaune Tom!" "Jaune Tom!" "Jaune Tom, you're wonderful." "Jaune Tom!" "A moose!" "A moose!" "I mean, a mouse." "It's as big as a moose." " I mean, it's a whopper." " A mouse?" "Where?" "Where?" "At the barn." "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Come on, let's go!" "Jaune Tom, you're a clumsy country clod." "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Hey, Jaune Tom." "What are we going to do with our mouse?" "We'll wrap it as a gift and give it to Mewsette." "Mewsette..." "That's all I ever hear around this place." "But, my dear sister, how can you continue to bury yourself on this farm?" "I like it here, Jeunesse, chérie." "I choose to live here." "And now, tell me about this friend of yours in Paris." " Is he nice?" " My dear sister, what manners." "So polished." "Not at all like the plebeian peasants you would meet out here." "The peasants, they are good and honest and very happy." "Happy, on this pile of dust?" "How can you allow yourself to go to seed like a fat duck?" " Ducks don't go to seed, my dear sister." " Well, like a vegetable then." "That's what you are, Marie:" "a cabbage, an artichoke." "True, Jeunesse, and vegetables are happiest on farms." "But, darling, think of Paris." "Lovely, gay Paris." "Have you forgotten the sidewalk cafés and how we sipped champagne?" "Champagne." "That must be what they call catnip in Paris." "How nice." "The button champignons sautéed in butter with tiny shreds of ham." "Champignons." "I know what they are." "Mushrooms!" "And delicious too." " And, my dear, the Champs Élysées." " Champs Élysées?" " I wonder what they taste like." " Oh, what a lovely feline." "Too bad her beauty is wasted here." "Now, in Paris, she would be perfumed and curled and have a stunning coiffure." "We would go everywhere in style, wouldn't we, chérie?" "The Rivoli, Maxim's, the Place Pigalle boating on the Seine with the music of Paris surrounding and caressing us." "Oh, those nights." "So sparkling, so clear, that each star becomes the glittering point of a great blue diamond." "Mewsette!" "Hey, Mewsette!" "What's the matter?" "Are you deaf or something?" "No." "I am not deaf or something." "Come on, come on." "Read the poem." "Okay, okay." "You don't have to push." "A poem, dedicated to Mewsette." "To Mewsette, the prettiest cat In all of France" "All right, all right." "It's your poem." "Roses are red Violets are blue" "Here is a mouse from me to you" "Signed, Jaune Tom." "Jaune Tom!" "You take that horrid, vulgar thing away from here this minute!" "I've never been so insulted." "How dare you think that I would eat such a coarse, plebeian thing." "But..." " But cats like mice." " Perhaps so." " But I am not a cat, I'll have you know." " You're not a...?" " You're not a cat?" " Not a cat?" "I am a..." "A... feline." " A feline?" " You're a fe..." "What?" "I think she means a female, Robespierre." "And all felines really like is champagne and champignons and Champs Élysées..." "And all I get on this farm is mice and milk!" "I feel like a cabbage that's gone to seed." "Like a fat duck!" "Gosh, Mewsette, you're not as fat as a duck." "Oh, go away, you ple..." "Ple..." "Plebeian peasant, you!" "I never want to see you again." "I wish I were dead!" "Oh, boo-hoo-hoo!" "So do we." "Don't we, Jaune Tom?" "Jaune Tom?" "Jaune Tom?" "Now look what you've done, you..." "You old feline, you!" "Plebeians!" "Well, if you don't like us "plebleens," why don't you go away with her?" "I'll bet she just lives on "cham-pag-ne" and "cham-pygmy-ons" and "champs-ulysses."" "Why, Robespierre, that's a wonderful idea." "That's exactly what I'll do." "I'll go to Paris." "No more mice and milk for me!" "Well, bon voyage, Mademoiselle Feline." "Au revoir, Robespierre!" "Take good care of Jaune Tom!" "What do you know?" "She did it!" "I must have a way with felines." "We're free!" "Free!" "Free at last!" "Well, you're a mouse." "You ought to know." "Why didn't she like you?" "Did you ever have any trouble like that with your girl?" "Oh." "You are a girl." "Well, then tell me something from the girl's point of view." "What's wrong with me?" "Jaune Tom!" "Jaune Tom!" " Where are you, Jaune Tom?" " Over here, Robespierre." "You can come on back now." "Everything's okay." "You mean Mewsette...?" "Mewsette'll take the mouse?" "No." "She's left, Jaune Tom." "Took off." " Nothing but fun now that Mewsette's gone." " What do you mean she's gone?" " She just went away in a carriage." " Carriage?" " What carriage?" " The one that took her to Paris." " Well, why did she go to Paris?" " All felines go to Paris, I guess." "Come on, Jaune Tom." "Let's go mouse hunting." "Mewsette!" "Hey." "Wait for me!" "Mewsette!" "Come back, Mewsette!" "For the last time, my lad, if your friend arrived in that buggy she has gone to Paris." "All right." "I know that, but where's Paris?" "What is Paris?" "What is Paris?" " Are you mad?" " Is it a school or something for felines?" "A school for felines?" " No?" "Well, a village, maybe?" " Yes." "That is what it is." "A little village a mile or two up the tracks." "And now, if you don't mind, I do have work to do." "Well, thanks a lot." "Jaune Tom!" "Jaune Tom!" " Pardon me, sir, but did you see...?" " He went thataway." "Gee, thanks." "Jaune Tom!" "Good morning, Jaune Tom." "Nighty-night." "I can hardly believe it!" "I'm really on my way to Paris!" "Delightful." "Delightful city, isn't it?" "Oh, yes, sir." "Even more beautiful than I dreamed it would be." " First trip to Paris?" " Oh, yes." " Visiting relatives?" " Oh, no." "I just up and decided that I'd vegetated too long on that dreary farm and that every girl should see Paris and Jaune Tom is so dull and I don't know anybody in Paris and it's all so wonderful..." "Oh, but you must think I'm terribly bold to talk this way to a stranger." "Not at all." "I think your enthusiasm is charming, and I'm not offended." "Oh, thank you." "I just know I'll be happy here." "Of course." "But like any big city, Paris has its pitfalls." "Oh, I realize that." "But after all, I'm..." "I'm not exactly a kitten anymore." "I choose my friends very carefully." "And that's very wise, my dear." "Nevertheless, there are still a few unscrupulous characters about." " Oh, dear me." " You need a friend, a sponsor." " Now, I..." " But that would hardly be proper, would it?" "Mademoiselle!" "You cannot be inferring that I would suggest anything improper." "Oh, dear, no." "Oh." "Please forgive me." "It's just that..." "I thought that my sister, one of the most influential cats in Paris might be persuaded to take you under her wing." "Teach you all you need to know, introduce you to society." "But of course, if you would prefer to go it yourself alone in a strange city, by all means." " Oh, no, please." " I would love to meet your sister." " Then it is settled." "Come along, my dear." "Jaune Tom!" "What are we doing down here, Jaune Tom?" "Let's go home before something happens to us." "I can't, Robespierre." "I have to find Mewsette." "Well, you look for Mewsette." "I'm gonna look for trains." "Is it much further to your sister's shop, monsieur?" "No." "It is just a little further along this street." "Yes." "Here we are, my dear, the best in all Paris." ""Salon de Beaute Pour Felines." "Mme. Rubens-Chatte."" "Meowrice, how nice to see you again." " This is Mewsette, my dear sister." " Isn't she pretty?" "Any sister of Meowrice is a friend of mine." "Henrietta, you are my sister." "Sister!" "Oh, yes." "Yes, of course." "She is an old dear but a little absent-minded." "Imagine, not even remembering your own brother!" " Yes." " How silly of me." "Of course I'm his sister." "I've been his sister for years." "Mewsette is new to Paris, dear sister." "I have told her of your wonderful salon where you will make her into the belle of all Paris." " Of course, dear brother." " Then she is all yours, Henrietta." " You know what must be done." " Now, look here, Meowrice." "It's going to take time and money to make a lady out of this cat." "So this time, I want something in advance." "Don't rush things, my dear." "Just remember, time is on the side of the scoundrel." " And you are the king of the scoundrels." " Yes." "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to." "All right." "Now listen carefully." "So I want one of you to keep an eye on that girl at all times." "Is that clear?" "As they say, "Evil is the root of all money."" "Money trees, that is." "Big green money trees." "Gosh!" "We'll never find Paris in all those buildings and things." " Yeah." "There's a lot of them, all right." " I told you it was a wild-goose chase." " Come on." "Let's go home." " No, Robespierre." " I can't go back without Mewsette." " Well, I can." "So long, Jaune Tom." "I'm gonna miss you, Robespierre." "Take care of yourself." "Take care of myself?" "Who's gonna take care of him?" "Without me, no telling what'll happen to him." "Alone, friendless, far from home." "Well, don't just stand there." "Let's start looking." "Mewsette!" "Mewsette!" "Mewsette!" "Mewsette!" " Quiet!" "Stop that noise!" " Go away, you silly little pussycats." " Get away from here!" " Scram!" "Go on!" "Leave those cats out of here!" "Allez!" "I don't know why she ever came to Paris." "I don't know why you ever came to Paris." "Your purr, my dear, it's like a cement mixer." "But that's the way I purred back home on the farm." "Well, it won't do here." "It must be refined, yet seductive." "Like this:" "Now try again and put some throat into it." "Stop!" " Oh, stop!" " Oh, I'm sorry, Madame Rubens-Chatte." "Being sorry isn't enough." "Now, look, child." "We don't want to disappoint Meowrice, do we?" " Oh, no." "I'll try very hard this time." " Good." "Now, let's show him how poised and gracefully we walk with a bowl of milk on our head." "Now walk towards me." "Head erect." "Turn right." "Left." "Reverse." "Oh, look out!" "Oh, no." "I'm a failure." "I'll never be a Parisian." "I'm going back home, back with the peasants where I belong." " No!" "No!" "Stop her!" "Stop her!" "Stop her yourself." "My poor dear." "I know just how you feel." "Wouldn't you like to stroll on the boulevard, stop at a sidewalk cafe?" " And order Champs Élysées, just once." " Of course, my pet." "Let us be gay." "We shall do the town." " Do you feel better now, my dear?" " Oh, yes." "Those sidewalk cafes were so much fun." "And Paris is so beautiful!" "And I feel so important riding in a buggy and..." "Oh, good heavens, Meowrice." "What are they doing?" "Oh, them?" "Why, they are kissing, chérie." " What's kissing?" " Kissing?" "Why, kissing is..." "Like rubbing noses." "But do they only kiss in buggies?" "Well, if you did away with buggies, you'd stop half the kissing in Paris." "How strange." "Why is that?" "Because, my naive one, there is nothing so romantic as a buggy ride." " Here we are." " Oh!" "So soon?" " Now, back to your lessons, my dear." " Goodbye, Meowrice." "And thank you!" "How foolish I was." "I'll never think of that dull farm again." "I tell you, Jaune Tom, it's hopeless." "Absolutely hopeless." " She's probably miles from here." " Yeah." " Yeah, I suppose you're right, Robespierre." " Well, come on then." " Let's go back to the farm." " Okay." "Okay." "Now you're talking!" "Robespierre, look!" "Look what it says: "Felines"!" "That's what Mewsette said she was." "I'll bet they'd know where she is." "Here we go again." "Jaune Tom!" "Help, Jaune Tom!" "Jaune Tom!" "Help!" " Who is it, dearie?" " There's no one here." "No one at all." "Help!" "You know, Robespierre, we're seeing parts of Paris that the tourists usually miss." "Let's find our way out of here and get back to that feline place." ""Mr. Henry Phtt, 1411 Sand Box Road Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, U.S.A."" ""Dear Mr. Phtt:" "At long last, I have found a bride for you." "With proper schooling now underway she will be the most beautiful and talented cat in the world." "I shall keep you informed of her progress." "Your obedient servant, Meowrice Percy Beaucoup."" ""P.S. I'm afraid that the price we agreed upon must, under the circumstances, be doubled." "There are other suitors."" "Well, I'm off to mail this letter." "If you ever decide to marry, boys, marry for love of money." "Jaune Tom, you take that horrid, vulgar thing away from here this minute!" "Pardon me, my friend, but that was the most remarkable exhibition of "virtu-mouse-ity" I've ever witnessed." " Virtu-what-sity?" " Virtu-mouse-ity." "A little phrase I coined to describe the incredible proficiency you just displayed in apprehending that rodent." "Obviously, it was too small." "Throwing it back was such a noble gesture." "It is an imposition, I know, but it would afford me great pleasure if you would join me for a bite of dinner and perhaps a sip of..." "We accept!" "We accept!" "Name's Robespierre, manager of him Jaune Tom, the world's greatest mouser." "And now can we eat?" "It would seem to be out of our hands, monsieur." "What'll it be your pleasure you're having, s'il vous plaît?" " Milk." " Milk?" "No, no." "Let's really live it up big, Jaune Tom." " Straight cream." " No, no, messieurs." "On an occasion such as this, we drink champagne." "Champagne, garçon." "Champagne for the greatest mouse catcher in all France and his manager." "One bottle of champagne, hot off the ice." "Hey, it's made out of bubbles." "I just wanna tell you that you're all a wonderful bunch of gentlemen." "Everyone." "I saloosh..." "Shaloot..." "I salute you!" "What a head." "What a head!" "Here, what is this?" "A turtle, perhaps?" "A turtle with a hangover?" "A two-headed turtle?" "lmpossible." "Where are you going, turtle?" "What do you know?" "This is no turtle." "It's just a small, bloodshot kitten." "Oh, gently, gently, shipmate." "I won't harm your little friend." "You see, we three are all in the same boat." "The same boat." "That is pretty funny." "The same boat, no?" "Say..." "No." "No, I guess not." "The truth is, we have been shanghaied, shipmates." "Or catnapped, in your case." "And that means we have to work." "Jaune Tom." "It's all right, Jaune Tom." "We'll get back all right." "Oh, it's such a big ocean, Robespierre, bigger than all France." "Bigger than the whole world." "Sure it is, but you've never given up hope yet." "I have now." "It's too big, Robespierre." "We'll never get back to find Mewsette." "It's not as big as you think, Jaune Tom." "Why, look." "It's just made up of little drops." "It's all how you look at it." "Honestly, Jaune Tom." "Jaune Tom?" "There you are, shipmates." "I have good news!" "We are headed for Alaska and the gold rush." "We will strike it rich, my friends." "Then we will return to Paris in style." "No time for games, little turtle." "The rain has stopped and I have work to do." "I must swab the deck, yes?" ""Dear Mr. Phtt:" "According to your instructions, I am having Mewsette's portrait painted by the most famous artists in Paris." "Many of them are not yet well-known in America so please allow me to tell you a little bit about each one." "Claude Monet might well be said to be the father of the lmpressionist movement." "You will notice how Monsieur Monet achieves a shimmering light throughout the picture and an impression of air and space." "A man of noble birth is Monsieur Henri Toulouse-Lautrec who is perhaps best known for his striking posters for the Moulin Rouge." "Pointillism is a highly individual style developed by Georges Seurat in which he creates his astonishing effects by the clever placing of tiny dots of paint next to each other." "Henri Rousseau is an ex-soldier with no formal art training." "He is known as a 'primitive painter.'" "With his vivid imagination he is creating a charming world of his own where oranges grow on banana trees." "Amedeo Modigliani is a talented young Italian painter who shows great promise." "Sometimes his models have great difficulty holding the pose for him." "A Dutch painter who has found new inspiration here in Paris is a man of violent temperament:" "Vincent van Gogh." "To achieve a strong emotional impact he sometimes applies paint directly from the tube." "Monsieur Edgar Degas frequently uses ballet dancers as his models." "To arrive at his delicate color harmonies he often uses pastels instead of oil paints." "Don't be concerned when you see Auguste Renoir's portrait." "Mewsette has not gotten fat." "Monsieur Paul Cézanne is an intellectual artist." "He is a masterful organizer of color, composition and form." "His subjects often take on the aspects of a still life." "The dynamic Paul Gauguin has only recently returned from Tahiti and his paintings show the influence of the South Sea Islands." "Another young painter here in Paris is a volatile Spaniard who shows every indication of someday setting the art world afire." "His name is Pablo Picasso." "And so, hoping that you will enjoy them, I ship these paintings on to you." "And tonight I am sending the original article:" "Mewsette herself."" "Here." "Mail this letter, Armond." "Now, I want no slip-ups." "The train leaves at midnight." "I'll be back shortly with the belle of Paris." "I want you to see that she is comfortably settled in her..." "I hope my little protégée is ready for her great adventure, sister." "She is, but you don't get her till I'm paid." "In full." "No money, no Mewsette." "Very well, then." "I'll write you a check." " It's better than money." " Now, that's more like it." "It will be well worth it, Meowrice." "Mewsette is my greatest achievement, my crowning glory." "For the sake of your dear neck, I do hope so." "How gallantly you put your case, Meowrice." "No girl could resist you." "Judge for yourself whether you're getting your money's worth." " Mewsette, chérie." " Yes, dear Madame Rubens-Chatte?" " Why, brother." "Don't tell me...?" " Momentary lapse, my dear." "Even cats are sometimes human." "Mewsette, my dear young friend, you are beautiful beyond compare." "Thank you, monsieur." "You are most kind." "Tonight I wish to speak to you of something very personal." "I think you will agree that before this night is over all your dreams will come true." "Oh, Madame Rubens-Chatte, isn't it wonderful?" "I do thank you for making it all possible." "Come, my dear." "Paris awaits you." "And, dear madame, may I say everything that happens is because of your faith in me?" "I'll be back soon and tell you about it." "Don't wait up, sister." "It will be later than she thinks." "I'm going to miss that beautiful little thing." "Well, at least I've got this check to cheer me up." "What's happ...?" "What's happening?" "Why, that double-crosser!" "That crook!" "He used disappearing ink." "Do you know, if the opportunity arose to do him a disservice I might not be able to resist it." "The moon is beautiful tonight, mon chérie." "Oh, yes." "So romantic." "Step in here, my dear out of the chill night wind." "What was it you wished to tell me, Meowrice?" "Tonight I wish to speak of love and marriage." "You have thought of marriage, haven't you?" "Yes, I..." " I suppose I have." " Good." "Then I know just the one for you." "Here's his picture." "His name is Henry Phtt of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, U.S.A." "You mean you want me to marry this fat, old...?" " You are as bright as you are pretty." "So please get into the basket like a good little bride-to-be." " Who are they?" " Business associates, chérie." "Just get into the basket, and you won't have to look at them anymore." "Into the basket?" "No!" "Oh, no!" "Yes!" "Oh, yes!" "You are going to Pittsburgh to marry that rich American." "Isn't that what you wanted?" "Isn't that why you left the farm?" "Yes." "I mean, no." "I just..." "I just want Jaune Tom." "Jaune Tom?" "You mean the world's greatest mouser?" "Why, old Jaune Tom's probably in Alaska about now." "He is not." "You're lying just like you did about everything else." "Call it a weakness." "Now get into the basket." "No!" "I won't!" "I'm not going to marry anybody!" "After her, boys!" "Don't let her fall!" "I have already paid the postage." "Come down from there, Armond, you idiot." "No time for second-story work tonight." "Well, why didn't you say so, you epithet?" "Well, do you see her?" "Hurry." "Hurry!" "You fools." "Don't you see those paw prints?" "This should be easy." "Let's go." "She's not down here." "Back the other way!" "There she goes!" "Get rid of that dog, you bumbling idiots!" "Your whiskers tickle, cats." "And since I can't stand to be tickled by no cats I'm gonna tear your tails off and have them for breakfast." "We understand your feelings, sir." "Nothing like cats' tails for breakfast but back there, among those barrels, is a..." "No!" "Please!" "Let's talk this over." "After all I've done for you." "Taught you everything I know made you despicable scoundrels beyond compare." "And what happens?" "You meet one little dog and I, Meowrice have to save your miserable, worthless lives." "Now, get out there and find Mewsette." "Brave country, is it not, mes amis?" "This weather, she's a little nippy for cats." "You could call it "catnip weather."" "Catnip weather, no?" "No." "Well, I am discouraged too." "We come for gold, we find cold." "I tell you what." "Let's join the Foreign Legion." "We go to Africa and get warm again, eh?" "Mon dieu!" "Little turtle, look!" "We've struck it rich!" "Jaune Tom, we're rich!" "We're rich!" "Wow!" "We're rich!" "Now we can go back." "Six weeks." "Six whole weeks lost." "Never send kittens to do a cat's job, I always say." "And now that I'm getting these splints off my tail..." "How are you, baby?" "Good as new?" "Now, then!" "We are going out and find Mewsette or there will be four new violins in the world." "Lovely view, eh, mademoiselle?" "Oh, no!" "Please!" "If there was any other way, I would have waited, Jaune Tom." "Nice fielding, team." "Come along." "We'll take the scenic route home." "The first thing we do is head for that Madame what's her name's salon and they're bound to know where she is." "Come on, let's go." "Don't worry, Jaune Tom, I'm right behind you." "There it is." " Where's Mewsette?" " She's in danger." " Yes, I know, but..." " They've taken her to Meowrice's and I think she's still there." " Thanks a lot." " Yeah, thanks." " Never mind the thanks." "Just give Meowrice my love and then turn him inside out." "Now, hurry." "Hurry!" "Canned fish?" "What won't they think of next?" "Everything is packaged these days." "Even pretty girls, hmm?" "What?" "Jaune Tom?" "The champion mouser?" "At Madame Rubens-Chatte's?" "Quick, then." "We must be off to the train." "Grab the handles." "Put your backs into it." "Get moving, you idiots." "All right, lads, the coast is clear." "Let's go." "Mewsette." "Mewsette!" "Mewsette, where are you?" "Don't worry, Jaune Tom, I'll be right there." "It's no use, Robespierre." "We're too late." "Nobody to with?" "Hey." "Hey, wait a minute." "Stop." "Look." "There's a message." ""Jaune Tom, I'm being taken to the train."" "Tears of gratitude, chérie?" "Just think, in a few hours, you will be on a boat to America and your new, old, rich husband." "Well, well, there are your little friends down to bid you goodbye." "What are we gonna do?" "I'm too pooped." "Au revoir, my children." "Don't forget to write." "Hey." "Hey, maybe if I..." "Maybe if I imagine..." "Mewsette?" " Mewsette, where are you?" " Jaune Tom!" "Good work, gentlemen." "Stop him, someone." "Toss him out the door, boys." "He ought to make quite a splash." "Jaune Tom, help!" "They've got Robespierre!" "Too late, my dear." "Are you all right, Mewsette?" "You look all right." "I mean, at least your eyes do." "If you'll let me out now, Jaune Tom, I'll show you how I really look." "Sure, sure." "What's the matter with me anyway?" "It doesn't really matter, though." "Why, Jaune Tom, that's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me." "Jaune Tom, I've been such a fool." "Jaune Tom, look out!" "You keep out of it, Robespierre." "Jaune Tom, hold it!" "Stop." ""Mr. Henry Phtt." "1411 Sand Box Road."" "Oh, yes." "Good idea, Robespierre." "Now, you go to beddy-bye, and when you wake up you'll be on a boat going to meet that rich husband." "Right, Robespierre?" "Please." "Please don't say anything more." "I'm dying." "I'm dying, I tell you!" "[ENGLISH]"