" How was the audition?" " Incredible." "You won't believe who the director was." " Who?" " I'll give you one hint:" "Warren Beatty." "Wow." "There's just one thing that might be a problem." "See, I had to kiss this guy." "Because he was just so darn cute?" "No, I'm up for the part of this guy who the main guy kisses." "Well, you're an actor." "I say you just suck it up and you do it." "Or you just do it." "I did do it." "I'm a professional." "My first girlfriend was Lisa DiBatista so I'm no stranger to the mustache." "What's the problem?" "After the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up and says, "Good actor." "Bad kisser."" "Can you believe that?" "Me, not a good kisser." "That's like Mother Teresa, not a good mother." "Who cares what that guy thinks?" "What does Warren Beatty know about kissing?" "The One With Barry and Mindy's Wedding" " What did your agent say?" " The kiss is definitely a problem." "Mr. Beatty wants to see it again." "I gotta find out what I'm doing wrong." "One of you girls come over here and kiss me." " Forget it." " Yeah, right." "Come on." "I need your help here." "I'll do it." "I've kissed him before." "I can do it again." "See this?" "This is a friend." "Let's go." "Oh, wait." "I have gum." "Okay." "Good." "Very good." "Firm, but tender." "I'd recommend you to a friend." " I don't know what the problem is." " Maybe you're not used to kissing men." "Maybe you just tensed up." "Maybe you need to work on that." "Yeah, that makes sense." "Over my dead body." "And I'll be using his dead body as a shield." "Come on out." "I'm telling you, you look good." "Tell her she looks good." "Tell her she looks good." "Oh, my God!" "You look so good!" "I cannot believe I have to walk in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when you're nauseous." "So don't." "I don't see why we have to go." " It's your ex-fiance's wedding." " Because I promised Mindy I would." "Yeah, well, you promised Barry you'd marry him." "You guys, I have to go." "I'm the maid of honor." "Besides, I need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself." "You have the same clothes on as last night." "Get some action?" "I may have." "Stud!" " What's she look like?" " We haven't met." "We just stayed up talking on the Internet." "Geek!" "I like this girl." "I seriously like this girl." "Know how I tend to get a little defended and quippy?" " Get out!" " No!" "Please." "Well, she called me on it, okay?" "She said, "Cut it out, get real."" "And I did." "Wow." "What's that like?" "It's like this." "Me." "No jokes." "Stop it." "You're freaking me out." "I don't like you this way." "I'll see you guys later." " Bye, Richard." " Bye-bye." " Bye, sweetie." "I love you." " I love you too." "I think my boyfriend's ever so dreamy." "I wonder what our wedding will be like." " What do you mean?" "What wedding?" " You never talk about that?" "No, never." "We're just living in the moment." "It's nice for once not to get hung up on, "Where is this going?"" " Afraid to ask him?" " Could not be more terrified." "You should seriously consider marriage." "Give Rachel another chance to dress like Princess Bubble Yum." "I was laughing at this quip Leno made last night." "I wasn't laughing at your dress." "I love you." "Where's Benny?" "There he is!" "Where's Benny?" "There he is!" "Babies probably learn to talk so they can tell grownups to cut it out." "Hey, I got a question for you." " Just a little thing, no pressure." " Okay." "Do you ever think about the future?" " Sure, I do." " Yeah?" "Am I in it?" "Honey you are it." "Oh, God." "You're about to get so lucky." " Yeah?" " Yeah." " Keep talking." " Well..." "Sometimes I think about selling my practice." "We could move to France." "Make French toast." "Okay, so we're in France and we're making the toast." "Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?" "Like a hound?" "Not a basset." "A bassinet." "You really need the bassinet?" "Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog." "Do you not see kids in our future?" "I love children." "I have children." "I don't wanna be 70 when our kids go to college and our life can finally start." "I want you now." "Well, that's great." "We don't need to talk about this now." "This is so, like, way, way in the future." "I'm talking hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet." "Come on, Chandler." "I want this part so much." "Just one kiss." "I won't tell anyone." "Joey, no means no." "Hey." "I'm sorry, we don't have your sheep." "I think you look cute." " Thank you." " And you." "You..." " You, I could eat." " Get away from me." "I said no." "Richard's downstairs." "Richard's here?" "I should run down and say goodbye." " Bye." " Good luck." "How's your date with cyber-chick?" "Hey, what is all that?" "It's a website." "It's the Guggenheim Museum." "See, she likes art and I like funny words." "What does she mean by "HH"?" "It means we're holding hands." "Are you the cutest?" "I'm afraid I might just be." "I think it's so great that you're into this person yet for all you know, she could be 90 years old or have two heads." "It could be a guy." "It's not a guy, all right?" "I know her." "It could be like a big, giant guy." "Man, I got this close to him, and Monica kneed me in the back." "What's going on?" "We're wondering if his girlfriend's a girl." "Ask how long she's gonna live." "Women live longer than men." "How do you not fall down more?" "Okay." "Ask her what is her method of birth control." "All right." ""My husband is sleeping with his secretary."" "She's married?" "At least we know she's a woman." " I can't believe she's married." " Oh, man, I'm sorry." "This must be really tough for you." "I read this article that says you shouldn't throw rice at weddings." "When pigeons eat rice, it kills them." "So that's why you never see pigeons in sushi bars." " See, we're having fun." " Oh, absolutely." "I'm not thinking about that thing we won't think about." "Neither am I." "Hey, there." "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "But I saw the window I crawled out of at my wedding." "And I just started thinking I shouldn't be here." "I shouldn't." "People will look at me and judge me and think about the last time." "It's gonna be okay." "It's a wedding." "People focus on the bride." "I know, you're right." "Alrighty." "Everybody look at me." "Good." "It's time." "Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines." "Thank you." "I'll see you after the thing." " Good luck." " Thank you." " Okay." " Okay." "Okay." " Why didn't you tell me?" " What could I do?" " Shout, "Hey, your butt is showing!"" " Yeah!" "Better you than Barry's uncle!" "This is so humiliating." "The only thing worse was in eighth grade when I had to sing the "Copacabana" to the entire school." "Two lines into it, I freaked out." "My life's flashing before my eyes." "Rach, look, I remember that." "It wasn't so bad." "Ross, would you stop!" "You got me." "I'm dating you." " Rachel." " Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Weinberg." "It's wonderful to see you again, my dear." "In fact, I hardly expected to see so much." " You told me you didn't see anything." " I tell you a lot of things." "It's wonderful to have you up and about again, dear." "Stay well." "That's the third time someone has said something like that to me today." "Rach!" " Oh, my God, I'm married!" " I know!" "I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter-Farber." "I am so proud of you, Min." "Min." "Rach." "Still here." "At our wedding, they'd packed up the chopped liver by now." "Oh, yeah, I love that story." "I have a question." "Why are people saying it's good to see me up and about?" "After you ran out on your wedding Barry's parents told people you were sort of insane." "Insane?" "From the syphilis." "What?" "What were they gonna say?" "You didn't love me anymore?" "Your choices were that or syphilis?" "Sweetie, at least this puts your whole tushy show into perspective." "Angela?" "Joey Tribbiani." "Listen, what are you doing tonight?" "I know you're seeing that guy." "Maybe you could bring him..." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Will you answer?" "That's the 10th bing-bong message she's sent." " She asks what's wrong." " What's wrong?" "You're married!" "That's what's wrong!" " Oh, my." " What?" "She wants to meet you." "Look, Phoebe, I wanted to meet her too." "But she's married." "She has a husband." "What if he's the wrong guy and you are the right guy?" "You don't get these chances often." "Meet her or you'll kick yourself when you're 80 which is hard to do and you'll break a hip." "I don't know." "Listen." "Those are the bing-bongs of a woman in love with you." "Okay." "I'll do it." "Okay, great!" "Put on your shoes and then march out there and meet her." "No, wait!" "You have to take a shower because:" "And I'll get the..." "No, you have to answer her." "Answer her first." "No, make some coffee because it's too much." "Okay, one more, please." "I'll get it in this time." "Okay, last chance." "Again, I'm sorry." "You know what?" "Maybe I don't need to have children." "Maybe I just think I do because that's what society and by that, I mean my mom has always convinced me that I..." "I do." "I have to have children." "I'm sorry, I just do." "Can I have your attention?" "Best man making a toast here." "Thank you." "I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel." "What?" "You hired the same band." "I can't use the same speech?" "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together." "And Rachel..." " What?" " No, no, in all seriousness." "Not many women would have the guts to be here." "And even fewer who'd do it with their asses hanging out." "I'd like to add something to that." " Why are you adding?" " It's okay." "Most of you don't know me." "I'm Rachel's boyfriend." "Oh, dear God." "Ross." "And I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight." "And just for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis." "I'm serious." "The reason she walked out on Barry is simply that she didn't love him." "Which, incidentally, worked out pretty well for me." "So, to review:" "Rachel took a lot of courage doesn't have the syphilis and wound up with me." "Cheers." " See you in the parking lot." " No, Rach..." "And once again, she is out of here!" "Okay, who had 9:45?" "You know what, Bar?" "I'm not gonna leave." "I probably should, but I'm not." "I promised myself I'd make it through at least one of your weddings." "All I wanted was to make it through this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity." "Well, I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen." "I guess there's nothing really left to say except:" "Thank you, honey." " Wait, wait!" "Everybody!" " Everybody!" "Okay." "I'll do it." "You'll do what?" "If it takes kids to be with you, then kids it is." "Oh, my God." "If I have to, I'll do it all again." "I'll do the 4:00 feeding thing." "I'll go to the PTA meetings." "I'll coach the soccer team." " Really?" " Yeah, if I have to." "Monica I don't wanna lose you." "So if I have to do it all again then I will." "You are the most wonderful man." "And if you hadn't said "If I have to," like, 17 times then I'd be saying, "Okay, let's do it."" "But you're not." "Oh, my God." "I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say." "I wanna have a baby." "But I don't want to have one with someone who doesn't really want one." "God..." "I love you." "I know you do." "Me too." "So what now?" "I guess we just keep dancing." "Where is she?" "Where is she?" "Oh, hey, I have a question." "Where is she?" "Relax, Chandler." "She'll be here." "Oh, that's her." "Yeah, because life's just that kind." "Stop staring at the door." "It's like a watched pot." "If you keep looking at it, the door's never gonna boil." "I think what you have to do is try not to..." "Oh, my God." "Oh my God." "Oh my God." "All right." "I've felt guilty because I wanna be a good friend." "And damn it, I am a good friend." "So shut up and close your eyes." "Wow." "You are a good friend." "Of course, the audition's over, and I didn't get it." "But that was a hell of a kiss." "Rachel is a very lucky girl." "denanet for torrents.ru"