"(♪ Bagpipe music)" "(Wind howling)" "(♪ Bagpipe music continues)" "(♪ Bagpipe music intensifies)" "You're not be letting people traipse all over the place." " I'm thinking about it, McNab." " Where's your dignity?" " You've a position to maintain." " And a castle to keep up." "No small expense these days." "Rather be poor than let strangers peep and pry." "Do you think I want it, man?" "Excuse me." "Where will I find Mr De'ath?" " Right here." " Oh, I'm Mrs Emma Peel." "Well, it's a beautiful place you have here." "Very beautiful." " I shall enjoy staying here." " Staying here?" "Mm." "The job will take a day or two." "I thought my letter made that clear." " What letter?" " The one in reply to yours." " My letter?" " You are Mr Angus De'ath?" " No." "No, I am Ian De'ath." " The 35th laird." "The man who wrote to you is my cousin." "What's this about?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "It's my mistake." "Your cousin hired my company as consultants." " What company would that be?" " ABORCASHAATA." "ABORCA-What?" "It's the Advisory Bureau On Refurbishing Castles" "And Stately Homes As A Tourist Attraction." "My card." "Your cousin told us that the castle was being open to the public." " Did he now?" " Mm." "And our brief was to advise him on things to do to attract the visitors." "If you'll excuse me, he's got a nerve." "Mrs Peel, as laird of the clan De'ath," "I am the one to make the decisions about the future of the castle." "And when I see Angus, I'll ..." "Bull's-eye!" "You damn fool, Angus, you could've killed somebody!" " Aye, but I didn't, did I?" " What's your next trick?" "Splitting an apple on this gentleman's head?" "You must be Mrs Peel." "Welcome to Castle De'ath." "Thank you." "I've already tripped over the mat." "Angus, you might do me the courtesy of letting me know what you're up to." "First, Scottish historians and now publicity consultants." "Oh, I'm terribly sorry." "It must've slipped my mind." " Perhaps I'd better ..." " No, no." "Angus invited you here." "And I'll have no one accusing the De'aths of being inhospitable." "But remember this, both of you." "When the time comes to make any decisions," "I'm the one to decide what we will do or we will not do." "Good day to you, Mistress Peel." "Come on, McNab." "Squelch!" "I think you might have warned me there were two of you." "Don't let Ian upset you." "He's a bit too much caught up in the honour and glory of Clan De'ath." "Mm, your cousin mentioned a Scottish historian." "Yes, there's a chap here interested in writing a book on the 13th laird." " Ian's not too keen about it." " Surely that's the honour and the glory." "Oh, not the 13th laird!" "No, no." "He's the blot on the family's escutcheon." " The traitor who betrayed the clan." " A hereditary trait, Mr De'ath?" "Yes, well, Ian will get over his tantrum." "Come on." "Let's meet the tame historian." "This is the banqueting hall." "And here's the table around which the clan used to gather." " And nowadays?" " Just Ian and me." "Passing the salt must be a bit tricky." "(Angus chuckles)" "Ah, here is our tame historian." "Mrs Peel, may I introduce Mr McSteed?" " How do you do, Mr McSteed?" " Everyone calls me Jock." " How do you do?" " You don't have a Scot's accent." "I was carried south by marauding Sassenachs when I was a bairn." "But this is my spiritual home." "I hear you're planning a book." "Yes, on Black Jamie, the 13th laird of De'ath." " I don't see him here." " (Angus) We're not very proud of him." "Black Jamie's portrait is hung where it belongs, in the bowels of the Earth, in the dungeons." " In the dungeons?" " In the dungeons." "Dungeons!" "No self-respecting castle would be without 'em!" "I'm afraid ours are in a very poor state of repair." "Ian is reluctant to let anyone go down." "Oh, what a pity." "We're planning on opening our castle to the public." " Mrs Peel is our publicity consultant." " One can do so much with dungeons." "In the Middle Ages, they were full of jolly ideas." "Well, if you'll excuse me, I must continue my research." "A walk across the glen and by yon bonny banks, just to get the feel of things." "Do I have to get the laird's permission for fishing in the loch?" " What kind of fishing, Mr McSteed?" " Bent pin and string variety." "As long as you're not one of those aqua-lung people." "Water is the fish's habitat, not mine." " A pity others don't think as you do." " Why?" "There was an amateur frogman drowned in the loch last week." "His body was found on the banks three miles from here." "How tragic." "What happened?" "They says the mechanism of his aqua-lung jammed." "There'll be no more diving in the loch." "I've made up my mind on that." "But you've no objection to rod and line?" " I wish you luck." " At fishing, I usually need it." "Mrs Peel, this weighty tome is a comprehensive history of Castle De'ath." "Did you know that Mary Queen of Scots refused to sleep here?" "Did you also know that that the frogman was 4″ taller when he was dead than when he was alive?" "He'd been on the rack." "Which room is for Mistress Peel, Angus?" "The Flora MacDonald room would be best." "May I show it to you?" "Thank you." "That's McSteed." "Where's he going?" " A walk, by the look of it." " Keep an eye on him, Roberton." "Chief's orders." "Man, that's ridiculous." "He's sailing a wee paper boat!" "He's what?" " Did you enjoy your walk, Mr McSteed?" " It was fascinating." " How deep is your moat?" " Deep enough for its purpose." " Mistress Peel!" " Are you all right?" "What were you doing down there?" "You've no right!" " Those dungeons are dangerous." " I couldn't agree more." "What happened?" "You slipped, I'll wager." "Slipped and hit your head, eh?" " Yes." " Yes, yes." "Just as I thought." "Those steps are slippery as glass." "McSteed, you look after Mistress Peel." "I'll go and get a key and lock this door." "I don't want any repetition of this sort of thing." "(Groans)" "Lean on me, Mistress Peel, as much as you like." "Oof." " Now, then, what really happened?" " I was jumped ..." "Ooh!" "... by two very large gentlemen who disappeared by the time I came round." "Very inconsiderate of them." "(♪ Bagpipe music)" "Was there a rack down there?" " In good racking order?" " I didn't have time to find out." "Shouldn't be at all surprised." "(♪ Bagpipe music)" "All right, Steed, who was he, the dead frogman?" "Nothing to do with us." "Just a fellow who happened to like skin..." "Ooh!" "Skin-diving." "Somebody else thought otherwise." "Decided to torture him to find out." "An unexpected talent." "During my childhood," "I was junior all-England amateur hopscotch champion." "(♪ Bagpipe music)" "I've run out of puff." "Pity." "I was just getting steamed up." "(Sighs)" "It's all to do with price of fish." "Well, the dead frogman." "It's very strange goings-on." "You must've heard about the latest fishing crisis." "Our fishing industry is one of the mainstays of our economic life." "And there's hardly a fish to be seen." "They've all disappeared." "Or been driven away." "Now our trawlers are having to fish in deeper water." "In unprotected water." "In competition with other fishing fleets." "And that bites hard." "Is Castle De'ath involved?" "Why else are we here?" "See you at dinner." "This belonged to Ewan De'ath, the fifth laird." " He was one of Wallace's men." " Wallace?" "William Wallace, a Scottish patriot." "Ewan De'ath and William Wallace were executed by the English in 1304." "The sixth laird, Charles, used this." "He was at Bannockburn with Robert the Bruce." "And the seventh laird ... (Ian) Like all the others, was also a fighter." "There was a De'ath at the Battle of Pinkie, at Flodden Field and at Alamein." " It's a proud tradition." " And exploitable, Mistress Peel." " That's a harsh word." " (Ian) An honest one I think." "Away, man." "People are interested in the past." "And the castle is an historical treasure trove." "(Ian) Which could be made to pay." "(Angus) Handsomely." "What's your opinion, Jock?" "Oh, don't forget I have a vested interest in the clan." "I expect that Black Jamie will sell." "Oh, aye!" "That book of yours." "Angus tells me Black Jamie betrayed the clan." "He made a pact with the other clans and then led his own people into a trap." "The massacre of Glen De'ath." "It was a bitter day." "To hear you, you'd think the massacre happened yesterday, not 500 years ago!" "He keeps the memory of it alive, doesn't he?" " Black Jamie?" " Aye." "His treachery was uncovered and he was walled up in the East Tower." "(Peel) And he's still in there?" "Since the last stone sealed it off, not a living soul has entered the tower." "But his ghost walks playing the lament of Glen De'ath on the bagpipes." " His ghost?" "You've seen it?" " Aye." " And you, Ian?" " Aye." "Isn't it time we dropped in on the poor old fellow?" " No!" " He must be very lonely." "Walled up till Doomsday was his sentence and till Doomsday he'll stay there." " Would you like to see the last stone?" " Very much." "Come on, then." " Ian?" " I've seen it, Mistress Peel." "But you'll excuse us and our curiosity?" "More, man." "More!" "What a magnificent armoury you have here." "Aye, and every bit of it bloodied." "The gallery continues right around here." "If you look carefully, you can see where Black Jamie was bricked in." "The centre stones were the last ones to be put in place." "And when they were about to do it," "Black Jamie was seen on the other side playing his bagpipes." "Good for Black Jamie!" "Game to the last!" "(Chuckles)" "Since that time, at dead of night, his ghostly piping is still to be heard." "Well, he can't do much harm." "I mean, not walled up." "Mrs Peel, the first thing a ghost learns is to walk through walls." "It's a fundamental part of any self-respecting spirit's basic training." "Oh, now you're scoffing." "But seriously, there is a ghost." "I've heard it." "And seen it on occasion." "Well, he'll have to have a lot of wind in his bag to disturb me tonight." "Combination of the good Scot's air, excellent brandy ..." "I am off, and will you excuse me, Mrs Peel?" " Angus." " Good night, Mr McSteed." "The flowers of the forest are all we'ed away." "Are what?" "Must be Robbie Burns." " Good night, Jock." " Good night." "There's an east wind springing up." "Inclined to howl around this room, Mr McSteed." "So I've taken the liberty of moving your things." "Thank you." "The Lord Darnley room, sir." "There." "(♪ Bagpipe music)" "(♪ Bagpipe music continues)" "(Door slams and locks)" "(Birds chirping)" "Ah, McSteed, you've noticed it, too, eh?" "Well, you're right, man." "There is not enough salt in it." "That's better." "Much better." "Here you are." "Help yourself." "Take plenty of it." " Morning, Jock." "Morning, Ian." " Morning." "Good morning." "Oh, salt?" "Aye, thanks." " Nice morning?" " How would you know?" "27 minutes past eight?" "It's nearly lunch time!" "Oh, by the way, insurance." "This ... this Mistress Peel woman of yours." "Does her company cover her against accident?" "I will not be held responsible for any accident she has here." "The way she goes traipsing about the place!" "Man, Ian, you certainly work hard at this canny Scot bit, don't you?" "Mrs Peel is perfectly capable of looking after herself." "Where is she by the way?" "In her room, I imagine." "You know these lie-Abed types." " Sleep half their life away." " Aye!" "(Laughter)" " Yourself?" "Did you pass a good night?" " Thank you, yes." " No disturbances?" " None that I noticed." "(Chuckles) I think he means our ghost." "I think he was abroad last night." "I heard the skirl of the pipes." "Oh, I'm a very heavy sleeper." "But you didn't notice anything at all?" "Only the bed." "It gave me a touch of claustrophobia." "I spent the night in a chair." "(Chuckles) Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that." "Perhaps we'll be more successful with another room." " Coffee, Mr McSteed?" " Thank you." "Good early-morning coffee gives me that glad-to-be-alive feeling." "Did you visit the dungeons last night?" "Aye, as a matter of fact I did." "Remember you expressed an interest in Black Jamie's portrait?" "Well, I brought him up for you to see." "Come over here." "I'm afraid the light isn't very good here." "How long has the castle been on the mains?" "It isn't." "We generate our own electricity." "There's a wee diesel generator down in the stables." "(Steed) That's better." "Fierce-looking fellow, isn't he?" " But you didn't hear him last night?" " Does he give regular concerts?" "No, no." "Sometimes we hear him three times in the one week." "Then not again for another month." "Unusual for a ghost." "They usually operate on a regular schedule." "Full moon, anniversaries, second Tuesday of every month." "Not Black Jamie." "(Steed) He's certainly got an independent air." "Aye." "Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." "Come on, Angus." "(Door unlocking)" "Oh, Steed!" "Good morning." "Thought you might like an early-morning walk." "But you weren't in your room." "So I imagined you were out picking the early-morning daffodils." "I'm extremely sorry to disturb you." "Well, the door was closed." "You are here on your own." "I was locked in." "All night." "And this thing wasn't designed for sleeping on." "Spent a pretty restless night, eh?" " Well, luckily so did I." " Luckily?" "They've got a spot-on service here." "Tried to press my best shirt last night, while I was still wearing it." "The gathering of the clans, it's a good idea." " It's the first reasonable suggestion." " There's more." "Like son et Lumière." " You mean music and coloured lights?" " Why not?" "If it's good enough for Holyrood House, it should be for us." "And what else?" "Saturday-night hops in the courtyard if it's fine." " Bingo in the Main Hall if it's not?" " The thought had crossed my mind." "Well, you can forget it!" "As long as I am the laird, the public will stay outside Castle De'ath." "Is that Black Jamie?" "There's not much family resemblance." " I'm not so sure." " Oh?" "You locked up all night." "Me destined to be suffocated." " I think we've been rumbled." " So what have you got in mind?" "Some research." "There's the history of the De'aths in this book." "I'd like to know how many entrances were sealed up when they popped Black Jamie into the East Tower." "Why?" "I think there's more behind these walls than just a ghost." "Well, I'll see what I can find." "What are you going to do?" " I'm going fishing." " No?" "In the loch?" "No, in the moat." "How much longer are they staying, Mr Ian?" "You'd better ask Mr Angus." "They're his guests, McNab." "Finished your research, Mr McSteed?" "I have it in my satchel." "I tend to refer to it between bites." "Hello." "You researching, too?" "Oh, I'm just improving my general knowledge on clan De'ath." "What have you learned?" "That Bonnie Prince Charlie asked the 25th Earl to help him." "He was in ..." "Wild Willie!" "A rising of the clans was planned in the main hall here." "Wild Willie persuaded men who'd been mortal enemies to sit side by side at that table over there." "He brought them together to serve the Pretender." "Now if that moment were recreated ..." " With dummies?" " In traditional costume." "It would be a money-maker, eh, Mistress Peel?" "It would be a moment in history that everyone could share, thanks to you." "(Scoffs)" "Do you realise the work involved if I opened this castle to the public?" " It would be worthwhile." " I've got a business already." " A foundry in Edinburgh." " I didn't know that." "You do now." "I spend a great deal of my time there." " And Angus is in Glasgow." " That's right." "So who manages the castle?" "McNab with the other gillies." "But McNab's in charge." " He's fishing in the moat, is he?" " Aye." "Down yonder." " I cannot see him." " He's behind a bush." "If you look carefully, you'll see the point of his rod." "(McNab) Oh, aye." "I've got him." "Keep a close watch, Roberton." "The chief's going to deal with him as soon as possible." "(Door unlocks)" "(Door bangs)" "McNab!" " McNab ..." " What is it?" " There's something in the moat." " What do you mean?" "Control sent a man up to the battlements to see if I'd seen anything." "They've got a blip on the radar." " Have you told the chief?" " No, not yet." " What about McSteed?" " Ah, he hasn't moved." " Probably dozed off." " Right, you get back to Control." "I'll have a word with the chief and check McSteed." "(Whirring)" "(Mechanised whirring)" "(Angus) Looking for someone?" "Er, Jock McSteed." "You haven't seen him, have you?" "No." "Not since he went fishing some while ago." "Why?" "Oh, it isn't important." "Well, if I see him, I'll tell him you were looking for him." " Mistress Peel?" " Yes, Ian." "I have come to a decision about the future of Castle De'ath." "Oh?" "Under no circumstances will I permit the castle to be open to the public." "I've made up my mind, so there's no point in any further discussion!" "I see." "To save any embarrassment, I think it would be better if you left." " When?" "Now?" " As soon as it's convenient." "I'll pack my things immediately." "However ..." "I do apologise for my apparent rudeness." "That's all right." "I quite understand." "Do you?" "(Gun clicks)" " Where did Mrs Peel go?" " She's left." " What do you mean she's left?" " I asked her to go." "You did what?" "I made it plain I had no intention of turning this castle into a fun fair and that she was wasting her time here." "Who do you think you are?" "The laird." "And it's about time that you remember that." " Now just a minute ..." " That's enough!" "I don't want to discuss it any further." "I'll never ken how you work that thing." "You don't have to." "Remember not to touch anything." "Especially those." "Oh?" "What's so special about them?" "They open the seacocks and flood the pen." "Oh." "What's the chief going to do about McSteed?" "He hasn't said." "He's a diver." "He could always have another accident." "Two in so short a time?" "No." "But there will be some sort of mishap one way or another." "When they go out tonight, so will McSteed." "I'll go for a breath of fresh air." "When will dinner be?" " In about 15 minutes, Mr Ian." " Right, I'll be back." "(Door shuts)" "(Sighs)" "(Machines whirring)" "Would it be impertinent to enquire where your friend McSteed is?" "I've no idea." " In fact, I thought you might know." " Well, I don't." "I'll take over." "Good evening." "Is there anything else you wish, Mr Ian?" " No, McNab." "Off you go to your bed." " Thank you, Mr Ian." "Goodnight, gentlemen." " (Ian) Good night, McNab." " Are you really determined?" " Aye." " You're a fool." "You'd think that of anybody who'd turn down money." "It's there for the asking." "You seem to forget that I have a tradition to uphold." "Oh, your granny ...!" "You've a tradition to uphold, have you?" "I'll not let you or anybody flog it on the market." " You're pompous!" " And you're greedy!" "Aye, I'll admit I have a taste for money." "What's the matter with you, Ian?" "Are scared a wee bit of money will taint you?" "Or have you some other kind of skeleton locked up in a cupboard?" " And what do you mean by that?" " Exactly what I say." "What are you hiding?" "Why are you so frightened about people coming in here?" "Shut up!" "When I get back, I will expect you to have left Castle De'ath." "Aye, you can push women around, but don't try it with me!" "Angus, I mean what I say." "Get out of here." "(Glass shatters)" "0 minus 30." "One of you had better go and alert the crews." "And you can help bring McSteed down here." "I bet he's having a smoke." "Hey, Bonzo ..." "can I have a wee drop of that ale?" "Mmm." "I can't get any reply from the power plant." " Who's on duty there?" " Rodnick." "I'd better go and see what's happened to him." "(Banging)" "Ah, McNab." "It isn't often we get a visit from you down here." "Nor me either." "Oh, this is most extremely interesting." "Ha!" "A do-it-yourself submarine pen." "So you found out." "May I ask how?" " Vibrations." " Oh?" "The sound of the bagpipes wipe out the sound of the generators, but not the vibrations." "My swim in the moat helped me, too." "That great big plug hole in the bottom." "The submarines come in from the open sea under water." "They then go into the loch." "Then by an underground channel into the moat." "And then into the flooded pens." "And you pump the water back into the moat again." "Er, do the submarines use some kind of ultrasonic waves to drive the fish into deep water?" "Your guess is as good as mine." "I should think very slightly better." "(Phone rings)" "Answer it." "Probably the boss." "Control room." "Yes." "What?" "Are you certain?" "Yes, he's here." "I'll tell him." "That was Roberton." "He's at the power plant." "The duty engineer's been attacked." "No, not him." "A woman." " A woman?" " Bless her." "I'd enjoy very much putting a bullet in you, McSteed." "But the wee hole would show when they found my corpse in the loch." "You're an astute man." "Now, if you'll forgive me, McSteed," "I've an appointment with Black Jamie." " (Controller) 0 minus 5." " Right, get the crews into the pen." "What about him?" "He stays here till we've got the woman." "(Alarm beeps)" "(♪ Bagpipe music)" "(Controls beeping)" "It's 0 minus 2." "Does he go in there now?" "McNab's orders were to hold him until we've got the woman." "Come on, man." "We can't wait forever." "All right, take him down." "Guns scare me." "I always keep the safety catch on." "(Gunshot)" "The pen's flooding!" "Going rather well." "(♪ Bagpipe music)" "(♪ Bagpipe music continues)" "Personal appearance tonight?" "(Yells)" "Angus, grab him!" "Angus, stop!" "Angus!" "(Grunts)" "Not that way, old fellow." "Your little boats have sprung a leak." "(Grunts)" "Steed!" "The Iron Maiden, it's a door." "(Screams)" "(Sighs)" " You thought it was Ian, didn't you?" " Yes." " You also said it was a door." " It is." "The back opens automatically." "Not this time." "It's jammed." "Sorry you didn't get any real fishing in." "Fishing?" "We're going to now." "What, in those clothes?" "Why not, Mrs Peel?"