"BALL Chain" "Hey, you got a safety pin?" "Why would I have a safety pin?" "Oh, good God." "This is easy as hell." "Ready?" "One, two, three." "It's gone, ladies." "Where'd it go?" "That was so cool." " Yeah, I know." "Hey, listen." "I'm having a party this weekend." "Yeah?" " Yeah." "You should come." "Hey, I need a pin." "Somebody have a pin?" "Please?" "What am I supposed to do with this?" "It's all I got." "People, people, people!" "It's show time!" "Relax, Ameet." " It happens to the best of us." "It didn't happen to you, so shut up." "Oh, hey, Ameet, look." "I found a safety pin." "You want it?" " It's not that funny, big boy." "Don't count on me for tomorrow." "Bobby's big day, huh?" "I think it's pathetic." "I'd lose my pants any day not to have to go through that." "Ruby Chandra, huh?" "Yeah, why?" "Poor you." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You never exactly met her, have you?" "No." "That's kind of the point." "What?" "What's wrong with her?" "What's wrong with her?" "She's fine, man." "I don't know." "In a unique kind of way." "Go see what she looks like." "No." "Come on, Ameet, help a brother out." "No." "Please?" "Okay." "Hi, Auntie." " Hi, Ameet." "How are you?" "Hi, Uncle." "How are you?" "Hi." "This is Ruby's mother." "This is Saima." "Isn't she beautiful?" "Well?" "Bobby?" "It's time." "Hi." "Hi." "Whew." "Hey." "Oh, hell no!" "No!" "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "No." "Sorry." "Whoa, whoa!" "What the hell are you doing?" "Did you see that thing?" "She's a wildebeest!" "Do you hear that shit?" "I can't live with that the rest of my life." "You got to go back and apologize." " What?" "I'm not saying you should marry her, but you can't leave her like this." "Watch me." "I'm sorry." "I'll talk with him." "What the hell is going on?" "I got this under control." "You can just turn around." "I don't think so." "That's my best friend down there crying like a baby." "Wildebeest!" " Would you please leave?" "Good idea." "I'm supposed to be Sleeping Beauty!" "Hey, roll me out of here." " No." "Please?" "Please?" " No." "No." "Please?" " Shut up." "Can you believe it?" " No." "Cheers." "You idiot!" "Saima, I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to" "Ameet, this is the ladies' room." "Is there anything I can do to help?" "Yeah." "Get out." "Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" "Get out!" "What's the matter with you?" " Mom." "It's just a spilled drink." " Did Ameet do this?" "It was an accident." "On behalf of my son, please accept my apologies." "That's all right." " That boy." "I don't know how he can survive without a woman in his life." "What?" "Okay, okay." "Yeah, hi." "Okay, okay." "Momm!" "Aah!" "Ow!" "Hurts?" " Yes!" "So we got married." "I didn't get a honey moon, of course." "I got a nurse." "Hi, honey." "Hi, honey!" "Yeah, hi." " Hold this." "Oh!" "All right." "Oh." "Thank you." " Poor baby." "Little chips for my honey." "You want some more of this?" "Thank you." "My baby." "I can't believe Bobby got trapped like that." "See ya." " Where are you going?" "Out." "Don't be late." "Where are you going?" " Out." "You should concentra te on your studies." "It's Friday night." "After so much hard work." "You are in medical." "Why you want to ruin that opportunity?" "Papa, it's just one night." "Hey, you work now." "Tomorrow we are taking dinner with some friends." "You also come." "It'll be your layer time." "You enjoy then." "But, Papa, what about Dave?" "Is he also taking dinner tomorrow?" "God bless you, God." "Oh, God." "Damn!" "Why are you always in heat?" "Because I know what I want, girl." "Look at that ass." "Hey!" " Aah!" "Hey, Saima." "What's with her?" "What happened to you?" "Hurricane Ameet." "Huh?" "Where is everybody?" "Hey." "No." "What's your problem?" "You are." "Take it easy." "I would if you'd stay away from me." "Why can't you just leave me alone?" "Can't you see, I can't stand you." "I don't want you around me, and I'm sick of you spilling shit all over me." "What?" "Drink?" "I found out where everyone went." "They left." "What?" "I can't find them, and their cars are gone." "Great." "And how am I supposed to get home?" "You..." "I..." "Tomorrow you're coming with us." "You're going to take dinne r at a friend's place." "You be ready." "Come on, Deep." "You gotta play better D if you want to win." "Play defense with your feet, not like Bobby." "I wish Bobby could play with us." "He will... soon." " When?" "Four to six months." "Why does he have to be married anyway?" "I don't know." "It was just his time, I guess." "Does he love Ruby?" " It's complicated, Deep." "Love is just a part of it." " What is love?" "Well, um, love is..." "Love is when two people care for each other so much that they'd be willing to do anything for the other." "Is that how Bobby feel s about Ruby?" "Well, not yet, but he will... soon." "When are you goi ng to get married?" "Ohh!" "Oh, God!" "Ameet, are you okay?" "What happened?" " No!" "Are you okay?" " Yeah, I'm fine." "What are you doing here?" "I don't know." "I guess our parents hit it off at the wedding." "So, Ameet..." "I hear you are doing computer science." "Good profession." "Huh, Saima?" "You know, Saima is doing medical." "I'm an intern." "Yes, yes, medical." "And..." "Mom, I'm gonna go to my room." "Excuse me." "Saima, why don't you go see if Ameet needs anything?" "Mm-hmm." "Go, go." "She is quite something." "I told you so." "Come in." "What do you want?" "Papa wanted to know if you needed anything." "Is it me, or are your parents acting kind of strange?" "Yeah, actually they have been acting kind of funny." "What's with them, huh?" "I mean, I didn't know our parents knew each other, and then Papa sends me in here to check on you and..." "They'd never allow me to be alone with a guy unless..." "Oh, my God!" "Ow." "Where are you going?" "I'm leaving." "That didn't exactly work for Bobby, and I don't think it's going to work for you, not in your predicament." "Shit." "I'm not ready to get married." " You?" "What about me?" "I can't get married." "Not now and not to you." "Yeah!" "Hey, what's wrong with marrying me?" "Okay, wait." "There has got to be an easy way out of this." "Our parents are reasonable people." "We'll just explain to them that we're not ready to get married." "How old are you?" "26." "Why?" "I'm 25." "That's not going to work." "My father already thinks I'm an old maid." "Well, we have to try something." "Okay." "Okay." "Calm." "Reasonable." "Rational." "Calm." "Reasonable." "Rational." "This is an excellent match." "You are both getting good education." "Dad, we don't want to get married." "We're not ready." "I did not want to get married." "I was not ready." "Huh?" " Mm-hmm." "But it-- it all worked out for the best." "But we don't love each other." "Forget about love." "We don't even like each other." "Why are you worrying about love?" "I did not have any love when I married your mother." "Ask her." "Did I have?" "No." "But you will learn it." "You guys don't care about passion or desire or any of that, do you?" "You are thinking of romance, sho-mance." "You are seeing films and all." "It is not like that." "Hey." " Hmm?" "Please explain to them." " Let me tell you." "It's very simple." "You get married." "You will have your home." " Correct." "You will be together." " Correct." "Then you will have children and family and love will come." "Don't worry, it'll come." " Maybe 40 years." "It'll come automatically." "Look at us." "It came after 27 years , but it came." "27, 45" " What is the difference?" "Yeah, I know, I know." "That's it." "You see?" "So we're sitting in his living room, right?" "And his father is like bald and I think he drinks too much because he's got me pinned in from this side and my father comes in" " You're lying." "I can't do this." "Then let them know you won't." "I can't do that." "Run away." "I've got some money saved up." "I can drop you o ff at the bus stati on and you could" "I can't do that either." "It..." "It doesn't work that way." "How does it work, Saima?" "They've always looked out for me, and I know I'm going to get out of this, but I just don't want to..." "I don't want to upset them." "I just don't know how." "I don't understand." "It's not funny." "Hey, it happens to the best of us, Ameet." "What do I do?" "I am the last person you should ask." "Can I get you anything, Ameet?" "Thank you, no." "By the way, congratulations." "Thanks." "So how are you guys getting along?" "Well, it's really weird." "But she's nice." "You'll know soon enough." "Where are you going?" "To the hospital." "Good, good." "Go." "Saima." "I'm only wanting to give you a secure future, beta." "Yeah, I know, Papa." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Hey, Josh." "How you doing?" "I'm doing great." " Great to see you." "I need to talk to you about something." " Okay." "I'll catch you a little later." "I'm in a rush." "Okay, I'll see ya." " See ya." "What took you so long?" "Hey, don't snap at me." "We're not married yet." "If that's what you think it all about, then I definitely don't want to be with you." "What is that supposed to mean?" "It's not like you have any idea what it's all about." "It's about love, cooperation!" "Shh!" "Working together to live a better life." "It's about raising kids and teaching them what's right and what's wrong." "It's about trusting someon e with your innermost secrets." "It's about passion and fire and emotion that you can just run away with." "That's what I think a marriage is all about." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oww!" "Oh, God!" "Oh!" "Are you okay?" " Shh!" "I'm fine." " Shh." "Shh." "I'm fine." " Shh." "Owie!" "Ow!" "Feel any better?" "I'm okay." "I'm, I'âm..." "Yeah." " Huh?" "Yeah." "Oh, yeah." "I'm..." "I'm peachy." "So, do you have a plan?" "Huh?" " A plan." "Uh, yeah." "Of course I do." "A toast to the happy couple." "Let us celebrate this union." "Not only a union between two people, but a union between two families." "Cheers!" " Cheers!" "It is my greatest pleasure to have Saima join our family." "Welcome." "I also would like to say a few words." "I just want to take this opportunity to thank you all for setting me up with this wonderful woman." "She's smart... witty... and, oh, so hot." "What do you think you're doing?" "What?" "You are my woman." "The hell I am!" "How wonderful." "A lovers' quarrel." "Lovers' quarrel." "What?" "No." "It is not funny." "It is not funny." " Yes, it is." "No." "I can't even have Bobby and the rest of my friends over anymore." "And I can forget about a bachelor party." "It's over." "Totally over." "Oh, no." "By the way, what was the deal with that glass of wine?" "Payback." "Fair enough." "At least I got a kiss first." "Oh, I'd say you got a bit more than that." "You liked it." " Nah." "Did you?" "Dream on." "So what do we do now?" "About the kiss?" "No, about getting out of this, jerk." "I don't know." "Hey." "What's up, yo?" "Hey, sweetie." "You're looking better there, tough guy." "Yeah, I got a smaller cast so I can use crutches now." "What happened to your face?" "We'll talk about it later." "Uh-huh. - Long story." "Your mole." "I had it removed." "Oh, you look beautiful." "Thanks." "Ready?" " Okay." "Ready?" "One and go!" "Thank you." "That's awesome, guys." "Isn't he great?" " That was great." "Are you thirsty?" "I'm thirsty." "Margarita time!" "Oogie boogie boogie!" "So, how's married life treating you?" "You know, it's actually not so bad." "She's kind of okay now that I'm getting to know her." "Really." "I got to admit, I didn't think you guys were a good match." "Well, it was weird, but... he's opening up." "So it's all working out." "No, I didn't say that." "She still does a lot of stuff that really pisses me off, but I'm assuming I do the same thing." "That's great." "So it's working out?" "Yeah!" "It's all right." "Get out." " No." "I just never expected you to say anything like that." "It's been like a week now." " I know, I know." "I've seen him naked now." "Hey, baby." "Hey." "How's it going?" "Hey, man." "What's your problem?" "Nothing." "Just thought the lady might want to hang with a real man." "Thanks for the offer, but I'm already with a real man." "Really?" " Really?" "Yeah, really." "Well, when you change your mind, I'll be over there." "Eww!" "Drink?" "What?" " Nothing." "Nothing." "I didn't ask." " Oh." "Hey, listen." "What?" "I meant to ask you." "Are you seeing someone?" "Why?" "Just curious." "Well..." "Actually..." " What?" "You are?" "No." "Are you?" "No, no." "No." "Hey." "You know, my dad u sed to tell me stories about these Indian princes and how they'd ride to their weddings on elephants." "I always dreamed I'd go to my wedding on an elephant." "Like a prince?" "Yeah." "You think it's silly?" "No." "I think it's romantic." "Hey, guys." "Peanut?" "What's up?" " You work here?" "Yeah, part-time." "Monty here is gonna be a veterinarian." "Really?" " Uh-huh." "Yeah, he didn't want to, but he figured it was the only way." "to stay close to his girlfriend in the gorilla exhibit." "Oh, ha ha ha." "This guy, huh?" "Yeah, listen, I actually got to get back to her." "She's lonely." "Cool." "Say hi to wifey." " See you guys at the party." "When are you going to find me a nice girl?" "Ameet." "I was wondering. if it is possible for us to broadcast the wedding on this, um, Internet... so our relatives in India may share in our joy." "Sure, we can do that." "No problem." "No problem?" "Excellent." "Excellent." "You know, this Internet." "Well, actually, there is one problem." "What is that?" "May I have your attention, please?" "I'd like to take this opportunity to say a few words." "I just want to tell all of you how blessed I am that Saima and I will be together." "She really has brought out the passion in my heart." "Saima has shown me what it really means to be true to myself." "As a result," "I would like to announce that, with Saima's blessing," "I'm quitting my job to pursue my dream." "I gotta dance!" "I gotta dance!" "Go, Ameet!" "Go, Ameet!" "Go, Ameet!" "What are you doing, son?" "This is a total disgrace." "I tell you, this marri age cannot happen." "My daughter will nev er marry some dreamer." "Papa?" " Don't worry." "We're just leaving this place." "Come on!" "Come, come." "Don't even look at him." "Come!" "Shit." "Hey." "Hey." "You were great last night." "Yeah?" "Well, my parents weren't too pleased." "I'm sorry." " That's all right." "They'll deal with it." "What's this?" "Yeah." "I thought we'd celebrate our breakup." "Come on." "Okay." "This one time, a couple years ago," "I went out camping with the guys." "We found this spot way out, right by this beautiful lake." "Anyway, everybody was all passed out from drinking the night before." "So..." "I decided to go for a swim." "You know, right there, at that moment, in the cool water with not a care in the world," "I felt something." "Something I... never felt before... or since." "This... right here..." "This is the closest I'll ever get to that feeling." "To us." "Or... not to us." "Whoa!" "I can't believe we got away with that." "You were good." "Whoo!" "Oh, my." "Ameet!" "Ameet." "Ameet?" "Huh?" "What are you doing?" "Saima!" "Saima." "Coming." "Come." "Sit here." "Listen, I don't want you to worry about that awful fellow." "Ameet?" "He's not awful at all." "Do not say his name." "I will not hear it in this house." "I'll find a new husband for you to love." "No dreamers for you." "Not at all." "I'll get an upstanding fellow." "Doctor." "Maybe... engineer." "Trust me." "I will take care of everything." "I will." "But, Papa." "Good morning, Auntie." "Shoo!" "You..." "You are not welcome in this house." "But I was" "I'm warning you." "You just go away from here!" "But I was just" " Just you go!" "But I was" " Just you go!" "You shitty fellow, yaar." "Go!" "Go inside!" "Go inside." "Hey, Ameet, can I play?" "Sure." "Nice shot, Deep." "Thanks." "Ameet, are you okay?" "No, not really." "Why not?" "Do you remember when I told you what love is?" "Yeah." "I was wrong." "Well, not really." "Let's just say I was a little off." "Oh, you mean like your jump shot." "Yeah, like my jump shot." "Then what is love?" "Well, do you know how good you feel when you do something right?" "Like when I beat the bad guys in my video games?" "Yeah, a little like that." "Imagine feeling a hundred times as good as that." "all day long." "Wow." "I know." "Pretty incredible, huh?" "When you meet some one who makes you feel as good as that, then you'll know what love is." "Hey." "How are you?" "Saima... we can make it through this." "We just..." "I just need to know you want to be with me." "Of course I do." "Of course, but" "But what?" "Papa's lining up men for me to meet." "There's got to be a way." "We could just" "He won't even let me talk about you." "Come here." "Come here." "What's this?" "Open it." "There's more." "Hmm." "I understand you are an engineer." "Uh-huh." "And then I got my second PhD in electro nuclear physics." ""Hello." "My name... is..." "Shili."" "Can she cook?" "Uh-huh." ""Uh-huh." That's all?" "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." ""Women find me... exciting."" "You?" "How about some tandoori food?" "You don't diet?" "Sorry about that." "Uh-huh." "I like tandoori food." " Next!" "And degenerative chemical manipulation." "Um, can she cook?" "You live here in town?" "Oh, yes." "Oh, God." "Yes?" "Yes." "Hello?" "Eating so much." "Eh?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "God." ""You... can... not..." "lose." ""I... am... the... total... package."" "Package?" "What a package." "We don't deal in packages." "Carry on." "I don't know." "I'm not impressed." "Not a winner in the lot." "Cancel, cancel, cancel." "Stupid." "God, send me some husband material, not animals, okay?" "Send me someone good." "Some... some eligible..." "Namaste." " Namaste." "Asshole." "No, um, Ashol." "Ashol." " Yes." "A computer programmer." "Yes, sir, I'm a computer programmer." "I have recently started my own Web site design business." "Oh." "And, uh, why do you want to get married?" "Well, I feel it's the right time in my life to start to work with someone and build a life together." "Fine." "And, uh, what abou t your family?" "Unfortunately, both my parents have passed." "I'm an only child." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Would you like to meet Saima?" "Sure." "I'd love to." "Saima!" "Saima!" "Saima!" "Come here." "Come, come, come, come." "Saima." "Ashol, Saima." "I would like for you to sit and talk with him." "Come, sit." "Come." "Sit." "And let me know when you are done, okay?" "We're done." " Ah, Saima!" "Please, beta." "You know, Saima..." "You're lookin' good, babe." "What are you doing here?" "Looking for a wife." "Well, you've come to the wrong place." "I don't think so." "In fact, I think I've hit the jackpot." "Oh, nice ass." "Oh, the things I'm going to do with that." "Oh!" "Oh, yes." "Got to love that ass." "True happiness comes when you love your wife, you love your home and keep your values intact." "Hmm?" "Sir, I'm honored to have your daughter's hand in marriage." "And I promise to devote myself to providing her with a secure life." "I'm sure, I'm sure." "God bless you." "Okay." "Good night." "My dream boy." "I got him." "Got him." "Ashol, my future son-in-law." "But he's creepy." "What creepy-sheepy?" "Such a nice fellow." "But, Papa, doesn't my happines mean anything to you?" "This is for your happiness only." "Did you hear the things he said?" "Saima, where are you going?" "I'm going to the library." "You really think I'm some fool?" "I know you have been meeting that fellow." "I know it!" "So you're not going out to study." "You're going to study at home." "But I" " At home, that's all." "Up." "Where's Saima's mom?" "I'm so confused." "Where has she kept my tea?" "Saima's mom, where's my tea?" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Sorry." "What" " What are you doing here?" "I missed you." "Drop the dupatta." "You're crazy." "Yeah." "Saima?" "Papa?" "Saima, did you hear anything?" "Like what?" "Some... scraping?" "No." "No?" "I can't sleep now." "Can you go downstairs and make me some cha?" "Papa, why don't you take your medicine?" "Okay, beta." "I'll do that." "I'm old." "My bones are weak." "But that's okay." "You don't worry." "I'll make my tea." "No, Papa, I'll make it for you." "You'll make it?" " Mm-hmm." "Thank you." "Some scraping..." "Shh." " But" "What's up?" "Uhh." "Where's Ameet?" "What happened?" "Your father... came after me." "Had to hide." "Aha!" "Hey!" "What?" "Bye." "Stay away from my daughter!" "Yourafka!" "Stupid fellow." "Damn." "Did you see those things?" "You know, you should get a boob job." "What?" "What's wrong?" "Why are you doing this?" " Doing what?" "Marrying me." "You know I don't love you, and you know I never will." "me." "You will grow to love" "You can only resist my charm for so long." "I can resist you forever." "Asshole." "Listen, you little bitch." "We're getting married." "If I say you get a boob job, then you get a boob job." "You do what I say." "Get it?" "Ma'am, are you all right?" "I'm fine." " Bathroom's this way." "How do I get out of here?" "Is there a back door?" " That's off-limits." "Where is it?" "Ameet!" "Ameet!" "Saima." "What's wrong?" "He's awful!" "Figured you'd go running back." " You want a piece of me?" "Just in case you don't understand..." "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "Wait!" "No!" "Oh..." "Are you okay?" " I'll live." "I can't believe this is happening." "What else could go wrong?" "Well, um, I don't know how to tell you this, but they decided to move the wedding up." "What?" "When?" "Where?" "Well, they already had the banquet hall reserved for you and Saima, so they just kind of figured they'd go ahead and use it." "But that's tomorrow." " I know." "I'm helping Nadi with the Internet broadcast." "It's her mother." "Oh, so you're helping them now?" "Yeah." "It's my wife's best friend." "What about your best friend?" "Ameet, wait a minute." "Yeah, that's right." "You will come on time, huh?" "That's very, very important." "Yeah." "Of course, food is arranged." "Everything's arranged." "Good, good, good." "Dev, see if Mom is ready or not." "Listen, that holy man should come on time." "Yeah, yeah, he's very busy." "Just a minut e." "Yeah, yeah." "Papa, please." "Is there any way for me to speak to Saima's mother?" "Because you are confusing me." "Come, come." "Come." "Ah." "Now, tell me." "What is it?" "Please." "Don't make me do this." "Saima, it is all for the best." "But I don't love Ashol." "Beta, love will come." "Why do you kee p saying that?" "Look at Ruby and Bobby." "Are they not happy and in love?" "That's different." "How?" "How is it different?" "Ruby wasn't in love with someone else when she married Bobby." "Saima." "Saima, you're too young to know what love is." "Ashol is a fine young man." "And he will give you security." "No, he won't." "There's something's creepy about him." "I don't trust him." "He'll take good care of you." "Didn't he take care of you when that fool attacked?" "But that's just it." "Ameet didn't atta" " Shh!" "Go get ready." "This is your big day, okay?" "Bobby, get dressed!" "In a minute, honey." "Bobby, the wedding sta rts in less than an hour." "I have to make sure the Internet telecast works before we go." "Just give me a minute." " Okay." "ted." "Good." "Let me check the search engine to see if it'â€™â€™s lis" "Okay, Saima's name comes up fine, and..." "What's this?" "What?" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "Call" " Call Ameet." "I'll get ready." "It's busy. - Well, try" " Aah!" "Bobby?" "Ashol, my son!" "I really welcome you to my family." "I welcome you." "A real welcome!" "Ameet." "Do you love Saima?" "Yes." "Then go and do something about it, son." "If she makes you happy, she makes us happy." "Ameet!" "Call Bobby on his cell phone." "He has something to tell you." "Bobby, we're gonna miss the wedding!" "Hurry up!" "Coming!" "Come on, Bobby!" "I'm going to go start the car." "No!" "Don't start the car!" "I'll be right there!" " All right!" "Hurry!" "I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!" "Come on, Bobby!" "Don't do this to me!" "Yeah, that's my baby!" "Where have you been, man?" "Just go." "Hi." "How are you?" "Fine." "Very good." "Okay, ready, gentlemen?" "We are starting the ceremony." "Here." "Beta, what's wrong?" "I can't do this." "Saima, stop this nonsense." "I'm sorry, Papa." "I love you, but I love Ameet." "I can't do this." "Saima!" "Just hear me out for one minute." "I don't need to spend the rest of my life with you to fall in love with you." "I don't even need to be with you for a little while to find out that you're kind of okay." "All I know is I spent most of my life prophesizing about love." "And now I know what it is." "I feel what it is, and I can't let go of that." "I won't." "Let me take care of this." "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome." "If you could please turn your attention to the screen in front of you, that would be wonderful." "Thank you." "That's" "This is Ashol." "I'm your fantasy man." "Oh, my God." "This is Ashol." "Do you like what you see?" "For as little as 19.95 a month, you could see all of me." "What a perv, man." " Ohh!" "Come to papa." "Who's your daddy?" "Don't believe it, sir!" "They put my face on somebody else's body." "Hey, asshole!" "Yes!" " Yeah!" "I'm sorry." "I did not know." "Go." "Go ahead." "Honey..." " What?" "Come, come." "Nice ride." "My princess." "You know what's scary?" "What?" "I love you." "Now, what about you two?"