"Being a policeman is not what you see on TV." "I've never had to pick between the red and blue wires." "Never had to jump across rooftops." "I investigate crimes, track leads..." "But I've done it for 28 years." "I'm a detective." "That's what I do." "If you break the law..." "I won't say that I succeed every time." "Any questions?" "You know." "The fun days." "I chased him over three roofs." "You can't do this!" "You destroyed a city block!" "He fired first." "I should read him his rights?" "You should've called for backup." "My only backup is in a hospital bed!" "Jimay didn't make it." "Oh, God." "Oh, God, no." "He was talking about getting out." "lt's hard." "He was like a brother to me, captain." "Since we was kids, we was partners." "We used to hang out..." "... anddreamabout being on the force together." "That was the dream." "Just two little Irish boys..." "... fighting,scrapping, thinking about making a difference." "God, I'm gonna miss him!" "I'll need your gun and your shield, Pete." "I may be off the force, but I am not off this case!" "That's not in the script." "l just threw that in at the end." "Nailed it!" "Trey, it was great." "Very believable." "We have imaginations." "Thanks." "We'll call you." "You got my number." "Right here." "Moved to tears." "Bye-bye." "Take care." "You too." "Restroom on the left." "Don't give up the day job." "Unless it's acting." "1 L43, clear from code 7." "Roger, 1 L43." "Hope you had a nice lunch." "Getting ready to break my old score." "Gonna break my old record!" "Now I get my grades in kills." "Just broke it!" "I got the top 1 0 spots now!" "[ Skipped item nr. 40 ]" "Mitchie Mitch!" "How's it going, man?" "This is a friend of mine." "Rich guy." "How you doing?" "l'm all right." "[ Skipped item nr. 43 ]" "Maxis Network Channel 3 chopper." "We got a hit on the police scanner." "Something going down at 1st and Santee." "This is Maxis Mobile One." "We're on our way." "[ Skipped item nr. 47 ]" "All day." "We got a couple of big spenders." "Don't get up for us." "Two free sets." "One for him, one for me." "What's in the bag?" "Let's do it." "All right." "All good?" "Good to go." "Good." "So you show us yours." "Touchdown." "Check the metal detector's batteries." "How about that, Re?" "Thirsty?" "A lifesaver." "All right." "So we're on, right?" "What the hell is this?" "This some police shit?" "What?" "You brought the police back here?" "Take it easy!" "Don't tell me to take it easy!" "Don't tell me to shut up." "You better calm your punk ass down!" "Stop pointing that shit at me!" "Put that away." "You think it's a game?" "Put the gun away." "See, it's gone." "It's all over." "Let's go." "Come on." "Let's wrap it up." "I don't want them coming back." "[ Skipped item nr. 70 ]" "What the hell is going on?" "Shit, we on Channel 5!" "l'm gonna blast these fools!" "What was that, a bazooka?" "You shot the wrong brother." "l'll find the guy with the cannon." "Hands behind your back." "I'm calling Johnnie Cochran." "I got his number." "You're going down." "Stop, police!" "Okay, round two, baby." "Freeze!" "L.A.P.D. !" "Undercover narcotics!" "Drop it!" "We got an officer-involved shooting!" "Put your weapon down, right now!" "Right now!" "Down!" "Good job, officer!" "Get back here!" "You're under arrest!" "Turn that shit off!" "Turn that shit off!" "Out of my way!" "Police officer!" "Look out!" "Get that camera out of here!" "Are you okay?" "lt went through my vest." "We need an R.A. unit." "Get away!" "l'm staying." "Get the goddamn camera out of here." "l'm just doing my job." "What are you doing?" "Get a real job." "We have a right" "To keep on the other side." "Aren't you the cop who got busted with his own cuffs?" "Think an officer doing his job is funny?" "Let's see how funny it is when I move this tape back 20 feet." "Come over the tape, you'll get B-roll of me kicking your ass down to Sunset." "Detective Preston!" "Detective Preston!" "What happened?" "Give me all you got." "Brad?" "I have the show to pull your network from the ratings toilet." "You can do public executions?" "Meet Mitch Preston." "You know I don't read." "Look at the pictures." "Annie." "Get that f* * *ing thing out of here!" "What was that?" ""Detective Preston destroys Maxis TV camera. "" "That's ours." ""Rogue cop guns down camera. "" "We can sue." "Exactly." "He's Dirty Harry, he's real and we've got him by the balls." "How is it different than Cops?" "Did you see?" "He's a modern-day cowboy." "He's sexy, volatile." "He's a bad boy, and women love bad boys." "Brad, focus." "Want to see it again in slow motion?" "l get the point." "Shit!" "What?" "l was outbid for an A-Team lunch box." "Okay, Brad." "So we've got this Mitch Preston?" "We're with him 24 hours a day." "Because he's gonna blow again, and when he does, we'll be there." "If he makes a lot of arrests, he gets a prize?" "Who gets the prize?" "lt's not a game show." "This is one man, on his own, kicking ass and taking names." "Can we give him a partner?" "That's a good idea." "Or is it the NCAA?" "Do we have a deal?" "Fine, go make a pilot." "No, Brad." "This guy isn't a pilot, he's a series." "You can't tell me that wasn't good TV." "But if it's all pit stops at Krispy Kreme, I'm pulling the plug..." "... andyou'reoutofa job." "We'll all be out of a job." "What do they teach you in China?" "Let's go." "Bring it on." "There are rules." "ls Julio out of traction?" "l'll call the hospital." "What if our Dirty Harry says no?" "Everybody wants to be on TV." "That's very funny, guys." "fyi, my friend, a lot of this is muscle." "It's a flyer for some new reality-TV cop show." "Thought you wanted to be a detective?" "I'm a cop and I'm a professional actor." "Your career consists of a few lines on an episode of Diagnosis Murder." "All I need is the right part and I'll get my big break." "when he got his break?" "He was 42." "Okay, but he's got, gosh, what's that thing called?" "Talent." "I'm talented. I ain't no Sam Jackson, but I'm talented." "Your partner will be Mitch Preston." "We know who'd wear the cuffs there." "He nailed the other lead?" "He's front-page news." "Everybody's talking about him." "I'd blow his old ass off the screen every night." "off the desk?"" "My client's taking the Fifth." "He's the victim here." "Got yourself a pricey lawyer." "Had to sell a lot of TVs for that." "Who's paying?" "That's privileged information." "He's done." "Come on, rerun." "This interview is over." "We don't talk, we walk." "For now." "Oh, my God." "This place is so depressing." "It looks like a tomb." "Well, you wanted reality." "We need a reality change." "This is hideous." "I'm not doing it." "Let them follow somebody else." "They don't want anyone else." "You the man of the hour." "You made us look like savages." "The network is suing for $ 1 0 million." "What?" "They said you could have killed their cameraman." "Maybe I should have killed him." "The chief already cut the deal." "Do the show, and they drop the suit." "What?" "That's extortion!" "They can't do that." "We need good PR." "Community relations are in the toilet." "Am I supposed to let them follow me around while I track down the weapon?" "Look, I did an episode of Cops once." "You did an episode of Cops?" "You forget the camera is even there." "This is real work. I'm not an actor." "No one is saying you can't work." "But you screwed up." "And now you've got to play ball." "End of story." "You'll be reporting to the show's producer, Chase Renzi." "Chase Renzi?" "is that a real name?" "I won't take orders from some coked-out Hollywood dickhead." "That's good, because she doesn't have a dick." "Check her out for yourself." "She's outside, waiting for you." "Well." "Better looking than I thought." "We gotta bring in color, some light." "Do you think these windows move?" "Detective Preston, hi." "I can see you're busy." "We'll talk tomorrow." "He's not very friendly." "Here you go, cover boy." "Thanks." "Detective Preston, Chase Renzi." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "How you doing?" "Good. I see you've already ordered." "fries and a Coke" "Diet?" "Regular." "So, Detective Preston... ." "Can I call you Mitch?" "I don't tick" "Sure you do." "Everybody ticks." "Not me." "Tell me about yourself." "You have a girlfriend, a wife?" "Ex-wife." "Ex-wife." "Was it a painful divorce?" "I only ask because I was divorced, and I know it can be difficult." "I mean, did you drink?" "Lady, I'm here because my captain made me. I had no choice." "out questiens or your snow." "Not only do I understand your resistance, I appreciate it." "... wecoulddo something very special here." "I don't know what you're talking about." "l'm talking about reality, Mitch." "There you go." "Letting the world find out who you really are." "You're looking for loose cannon, cop-on-the-edge Serpico bullshit." "I'm telling you, you're wasting your time." "See that anger, Mitch?" "The audience will connect with that in a major way." "I'm out of here." "Want that in a doggy bag?" "No." "Thanks, though. lt was delicious." "How did it go?" "is he intense?" "l need cherry Tums, quick." "ls he psyched about the show?" "lt may be harder than I thought." "Hey!" "You son of a bitch!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Bad idea. I only got two things bigger than my mouth." "One of them is pointed at your head." "You damn right." "If your boys want to know who put the smack down on you, my badge is 38723." "l got the situation in hand." "Top Cop, how you doing?" "This is my collar." "He could've had a gun." "Nobody got no gun." "Trey, I think you broke a rib." "Tell him to get the cuffs off." "I told you I can't do handcuffs." "Never seen him before." "Just another criminal." "Bullshit." "We took a stage combat class together last fall." "Nice try, pal." "He's just trying to weasel his way out of the crime." "That's what he's doing." "He looks like a real menace." "Who wants to explain?" "Trey said he'd give me $50 if I snatched the lady's purse and ran." "He'd pull up in his police car, jump out..." "... chasemeup afence, beat me down, kick me" "All right, all right." "Okay." "I set the whole thing up." "It was a big setup." "I set it up to make it look like I was... ." "l was auditioning to get this part." "What part?" "It won't be this moron." "I should report you for impersonating a cop." "Why you take everything so seriously?" "You should be protecting, not staging crimes." "You got the part already." "I'm just trying to spruce it up." "That's what you normally do at work." "Better watch your mouth." "What are you gonna do, wrap me up in caution tape?" "No, I ain't gonna wrap you up in caution tape." "Work on your Starsky and Hutch routine on your own time." "He's a disgrace." "You'd work with him?" "Never in a million years." "Amazing." "Really?" "Thank you." "All right." "The guy's a joke." "There's no way I'll work with him." "I don't want to hear it." "Shit, come on." "Thanks." "You're doing this." "That's an order." "Trapped in the jaws, he struggled." "You'll never see no brothers messing with no sharks." "Never." "Hello?" "I saw you on TV, shooting up the neighborhood." "Oh, yeah?" "I got cell phones, call waiting, e-mail, voice mail..." "... andI haven'thearduna chingada from you." "It ain't like that, dog." "I'm laying low till everything dies down. lt got crazy." "And you let me down." "And now you put my entire shipment at risk." "You used that gun without my permission." "We don't want that getting into the wrong hands, do we now?" "No, I was just borrowing it." "Just testing it out, you know?" "And how did it work?" "Real good. I got it right here." "So we cool, right?" "Yeah." "We cool." "l'm sorry about" "Don't worry." "We cool, Lazy Boy." "Okay?" "We're cool." "All right." "You two have a nice night." "Okay?" "All right." "What the hell was that all about?" "What the hell?" "What's that?" "Stop playing this shit, man." "Get down!" "Freeze!" "L.A.P.D." "Cut, cut, cut, cut." "Cut." "Let's do it again." "Freeze!" "L.A.P.D." "That how he's doing it?" "I'm laying my shit out." "Freeze!" "L.A.P.D. That shit is right." "Ready?" "Patrolling your area at Friday... ." "Friday night at 8." "Eight." "Patrolling every Friday at 8." "Yeah, good, and be happy." "Why should I?" "I'm patrolling." "You're happy because you're patrolling." "Keeping it safe, Mitch." "Patrolling every Friday at night." "Every Friday night at 8." "Get out." "Wait a minute, hold it, cut, cut." "Mitch, you can't just toss a cameraman aside." "The doors fly open." "They fly open." "You burst in." "You scan the room." "You do the turn, toss yourself around." "And now!" "You're set and" "But don't turn your head too far from camera." "That little lady is your lover." "Don't respect her, she won't respect you." "Always know where she is." "She's in my way." "Which is the most underrated show in history." "T-Thank" "l'm playing a detective." "Okay." "Let's go do some hood-jumping." "What's that?" "What do you think?" "We jump over hoods." "Something you'd know." "Freeze!" "Okay, Mitch." "Come here." "l'm not going on the hood of a car." "What do you mean?" "Forget it." "I entertained viewers everywhere in the '80s, jumping on car hoods." "One of a TV cop's greatest weapons." "I'll show you." "You gotta stop them, see?" "Halt!" "And you throw your body." "Halt!" "You okay, T.J.?" "Moving on." "Deep in thought." "Now the eyebrows arch, ever so slightly." "And Hooker solves another case." "Okay?" "All right, Trey, you try it." "Go ahead." "Ready?" "Get loose now." "Loosen up." "Ready?" "Yeah." "Trey, who stole the money?" "Good." "You nailed it, first take." "Give me five." "That was good!" "Okay, Mitch." "Come on, show me some magic." "Mitch, who stole the money?" "Look at the anger in his eyes." "Look at that." "See, that slight squint says, "Hey, I'm Mitch. I'm the man." "Don't mess with me. "" "Okay." "Let's taste some drugs." "Hooker's got a bag of white powder in his hand." "Spears it open with a pocketknife." "Takes his little pinkie..." "... inthepowder." "And he touches it, gently, on his tongue." "Watch the eyebrows." "Hooker knows it's cocaine." "What if it's cyanide?" "Hello?" "Hold on." "There's a reason real cops don't taste drugs, Bill." "Okay, I'm on my way." "lt's tricky." "Where are you going?" "l gotta wash this shit out of my hair." "We have some action?" "We have some action, finally." "In the wheel, the glove compartment and a crook-cam in the back." "Pretend they're not there." "Pretend." "See?" "You're catching on already." "We'll be right behind you in the van." "You'll be right behind me?" "What are you doing?" "Unbelievable." "What's the mean face for?" "Listen." "Don't speak, listen." "First of all, you gotta know that I got your back covered..." "... andI gottaknow you got mine covered." "No doubt." "When we're on the job you're the only person I can depend on." "You got that?" "That's important." "There's no other way." "And it's gotta start right now." "You know, ever since I was 8, I wanted to be a cop." "He was the first in the family on the force." "Big muscles." "Uncle Reggie." "He used to let me ride in the squad car with him." "... IknewIwas gonnabeacop." "Uncle Reggie." "Yeah." "My uncle" "Uncle Reggie passed away two years ago." "He got caught in the line of some fire." "Didn't slow me down." "I remember how he set me on my way." "He's looking down on me from a big precinct in the sky." "He's thinking, "You've done all right, Trey." "You've done right by me. "" "That "l'm your partner. " That was a speech." "You burned up 90 seconds of air." "That was a speech." "When we get to the crime scene, stay out of my way." "This isn't studio shit." "This is real." "Get your camera out of here." "Hey, watch it." "Julio has to shoot." "That's the show." "That's right." "Whatever you need, I'm there." "If I get shot, stabbed, it's cool." "Whatever. I'm getting good footage." "Just remember three words:" "Go to Trey." "l'm Trey." "Julio." "You worked on Springer?" "Springer, Girls Gone Wild." "Get that camera out of here." "Who's in the bag?" "We don't know yet." "Whoever shot him didn't care for open caskets." "Thinking what I'm thinking?" "... cleaningthestreetsup on they own terms, partner." "This is payback for a drug deal gone sour." "Whoever this guy worked for got pissed." "Good thinking, partner." "Good thinking." "I think I can identify one of the victims." "Those are 1 2-gauge, armor-piercing uranium shells." "Charlie." "Hey, Mitchell." "I found explosive and incendiary rounds scattered around." "It appears to be hand-held, automatic, with interchangeable magazines." "Technically, this gun doesn't exist." "Speak English." "Any idea who made it?" "It's out of Eastern Europe." "Thanks, Charlie." "Keep your eyes open." "You bet." "What are you doing?" "Take it easy." "You're not supposed to touch." "l didn't. I turned it over." "Let me know when you touch-- -l don't have to" "What's going on?" "He's contaminating my crime scene." "I'm doing a sweep of the area." "You never know where a crucial bit of evidence may be hiding." "Did anybody think to pull some prints off this water bottle?" "Can I get an evidence bag?" "That's an honest mistake." "evidence so I thought it was..." "Hey, T.J., go solve the case somewhere else." "Don't give me orders, I'm your partner!" "No, I partner with real cops." "Get me a copy of that report." "All right, Mitch." "Well, I am your partner, so you better accept that." "I am your partner!" "He won't open up." "You know how hard it is to work with somebody like that?" "I know." "Mitch has been a lot more resistant than I'd hoped for." "I think that you and Mitch need some bonding time." "You're right." "We do." "We need some QT time together." "Two guys hanging out, have some beers." "I'll call to see if he wants to hang out." "Let's not call him." "Let's just go over." "Just show up?" "Surprise him." "What are you doing?" "How hard is it to say, "Hi, Trey, nice to see you"?" "Hi, Trey." "What are you doing here?" "We got off on the wrong foot." "I got some food." "We can eat the food and bond a bit." "Bond?" "Yeah." "How'd you get my address?" "Hi, Mitch." "Oh, shit." "Do I have to?" "I gotta see where my star cop lives." "Come on, Mitch." "Oh, my God." "Mitch... !" "Got a little smell to it." "Not a stinky smell, an odd one." "What is that smell?" "is this here your actual living area?" "What's the problem?" "Like a trailer on the beach or a loft downtown." "That kind of thing." "Your research shows that, huh?" "Where does he live?" "I rent a guesthouse from a producer." "Kind of gives off a Magnum vibe." "Totally." "It's unique." "You know what, Mitch?" "We can make this work." "Did a crackhead make this cup?" "No." "It's just." "The point is to let the audience in on all aspects of your life." "Mitch, I think you need some time away from the job." "I just found the crackhead's shop." "Hey, don't go in there." "This is what you smell all over the place." "Wow, a pottery studio!" "You're full of surprises." "How long you been doing this?" "Six years, give or take." "You really got a knack for it." "This room's off-limits." "It's not for show." "Okay, Mitch." "Bond with yourself, I got work to do." "Check this out." "Must be some Hollywood dickhead." "Not bad, huh?" "A cop never slides across the hood." "Why?" "It's not police procedure?" "Your holster scratches the paint." "They can buff that shit out." "l'm trying for detective." "You take the exam?" "Twice." "And you think you won't fail again?" "Now I'm working with Mitch Preston." "Give me some tips, and I'll tip you on how to look better on camera." "Tips like what?" "You wear plaids, like fishermen." "That's ugly shit." "Wear solids." "You look slimmer on camera." "l'll keep that in mind." "Got any tips for me?" "Yeah, stay out of my way and I won't shoot you." "What the hell's going on?" "Welcome to America's window on your world." "What is this?" "We made your workspace camera-ready." "My workspace?" "I think it captures the reality of an inner-city precinct." "Look at your desk. lt's so beautiful." "ls this my desk?" "Mitch." "We didn't change it." "But this is a confessional." "All right?" "Talk about anything you want." "... yoursexlives.Imean , only if you want to." "Direct to camera." "No, thanks." "You could put a pottery wheel there." "Look, Mitch, this is an integral part of the show." "We've provided a chair." "All you have to do is sit and share." "Share?" "Learn how to turn on your heart light." "Exactly." "Chase!" "Brad loves the promo footage." "You need a catch phrase?" "I got it." "When I'm about to make a bust" "When did you ever make a bust?" "to get in the moment  Itakethreedeepbreathsandsayto myself, "Okay, Trey, it's showtime! "" "You say that?" "That's stupid." "What's stupid about it?" "Know what?" "Don't say it, please." "No, I have to say it, Mitch." ""Showtime. " lt's amazing." "Say it again for the camera." "My God, you're a natural!" "It's showtime!" "This is Harley Barley taking calls from fans of the new series Showtime." "Let's go to Pete from Idaho." "You're on the air." "I mean, I got a lot of anger inside me too." "Thank you, Pete." "You sure you're not calling from Waco?" "Let's go to line three." "Mandy, you're on." "I'm your biggest fan." "Trey is so fine." "I could ride that." "What?" "Thank you, Mandy." "Marry me, Trey!" "I'm gonna be honest, you know." "... to think about what it might be like to have a different partner." "Charismatic, with a little flair and shit." "You kicking it with him, have some fun." "Me and a Wesley Snipes type." "I know you won 't get Wesley." "I see Wesley Snipes types all the time." "Me and a Wesley Snipes type?" "Can you imagine?" "Wesley Snipes type?" "Basically, I'm saying the whole show is slowed down just a half a beat..." "I'm too old for this shit." "...so Mitch can keep up." "Because I'm working out." "I do free-weights." "Go ahead." "Make my day." "I'm taking care of mine." "Mitch is not." "That's it." "I'm taking care of mine and Mitch is not." "Trey, look at this. lt's all for you." "Five minutes up yet?" "It's showtime!" "What are you looking at that for, Magnum?" "How come we're not talking to him?" "Because he's sitting in county." "Forget it. I put him there." "He won't talk to me. I already tried." "He'll talk to me." "What makes you think he'll talk to you?" "I won't go in like a bulldog like you." "l'll talk. I'll be in character." "ln character!" "That's great." "You mean, like undercover?" "A little finesse, catch him off guard, have him think I'm someone else." "I don't know." "rerun!" "How you doing, my man?" "I'm Trey Sellars from the Justice Channel." "Have a seat, please." "You being strong?" "Yeah." "Thanks for coming." "You okay?" "I ain 't heard of no Justice Channel." "That's because we got started while you was rotting away in here." "The Justice Channel is devoted to shining the light on victims like you." "He's got talent, Mitch, come on." "We're wasting our time." "is that a new shirt?" "It looks good. I like you in solids." "Not me, brother, the TV show." "I'm hosting a show called Framed." "Let me tell you about the show." "We spotlight you." "Put a light on your situation." "Let the people see you." "campatgn started and get you out." "I got three people out." "You can be number four." "Like Mandela." "Similar." "You ain't as noble." "You ain't no Nelson." "You're rerun." "Mandela's shit stink too." "Trey, I'll talk you through this." "Not so loud." "Say what?" "You don't have to talk too loud." "That's the wrong thing you can do." "Let me explain something." "Research has shown people don't want to hear lawyers." "They want to hear it straight from your mouth." "I got Johnnie Cochran." "No offense, bro." "I'm now trying to get." "I'm trying to get people to connect with you." "Ain't no cops here." "Just me and you." "Brother to brother." "Take it slow." "Nice and easy." "He's still on the fence." "All right!" "You and Lazy Boy got this gun from somebody!" "You work for the same person!" "Who you working for?" "What the hell?" "What kind of reporter are you?" "l don't tiptoe around the truth!" "Back off." "And I will not back off until I find out the truth!" "You say "ass" on TV?" "This is cable." "I can say whatever I want to." "Did they tell you plea-bargain?" "That's what was said, isn't it?" "Yeah." "See if you can get a name." "It's time, rerun." "Whose time are you doing?" "While you're in here he's smelling freedom." "Ass." "Ass and feet, and tension and stress." "Hey, brother, that ain't for you." "Look in that camera right now." "here instead of you." "Look in the camera and say it." "I'm with you." "I'm right here with you." "All the people out there in TV land..." "Your baby be home soon, Mama." "Yes." "The culprit..." "You'll see Mama soon." "... that put me on the streets to do his dirty work  that'sshittingon my freedom..." "... isnoneother..." "This is an emotional moment." "... than Vargas!" "Caesar Vargas!" "He said it!" "Hope you're watching, bitch." "Shit." "You did the right thing, brother." "Find out where he is." "You going down, baby." "You made a connection." "When the people see this, they'll get rallied up. I can tell." "Now, where would a guy like Vargas kick it?" "You trying to get a brother killed" "Not at all." "I do this for the viewers." "We don't point fingers." "We'll say, "lf you don't want to run into Vargas don't go to this place. "" "Hanging out with him, you wind up in this place." "That's how you got here." "Think about the babies, the children." "Save the babies, brother." "People and children in TV land and all the little kids around the world  don'tbelikeme." "And if you want to stay out of harm's way..." "... don'tgoto ClubCubaLoca  on Figueroa." "He's just lucky." "Brother, you did the right thing." "Don't you feel good?" "We connected." "A weight off my shoulders." "You going down, bitch." "I got backup now." "Hey, that's a wrap." "Yeah!" "Come on, Mitch." "I was born in a corn field, Grandma was a stripper" "Save all that for when you do The Oprah Winfrey Show." "Yo, we going to the club tonight." "is the mike on?" "Can you turn the mike up?" "Sorry to bother everybody." "is Mr. Vargas here?" "Anybody know where Mr. Vargas is?" "Mr. Vargas?" "There he is." "See how easy that was?" "Don't get up, we'll come to you." "Sorry." "Go on back..." "Sorry, I always wanted to do that." "Be right with you, Mr. Vargas." "Interesting approach." "Just doing my part." "He's over this way." "Yeah, I tokd you." "Mr." "Vargas?" "Yes." "I'd like to ask you some questions." "Who's he?" "One of your employees." "You know that." "I don't know this guy." "What's his name?" "... probablybigenoughtogothrough those bulletproof vests you wear." "Am I right?" "And you are... ?" "You can't miss me. I'm across the street on the billboard." "You are the TV cops." "Right." "What's your line again?" ""lt's showtime! "" "It's showtime!" "I told you it was good." "See how funny this is once we arrest you." "What'll you do?" "Try me in The People's Court?" "We're gonna be watching your punk ass 24-7, slick." "Are you going to arrest me?" "Or I have to call the real cops." "Hey, we are the real cops." "Sure you are." "I think you're a joke." "Not this time, but next time I'll drag you out of here in cuffs." "You see, I told you." "They are a joke." "Right?" "lt's a joke. lt's a Showtime joke." "Showtime." "That's great TV!" "We can take this car and meet girls who wouldn't normally look at us." "Why don't you stop the car?" "All right, I'll leave you alone." "What's this, your picture and resume?" "Those are my 8-by-1 0s." "I just want to look." "I've never..." "... nevermeta..." "... mime.lsthatit?" "Mime?" "Yeah, I'm a mime. I mime." "I'm curious about these movies:" "Beach Party Bonzo?" "Planet Gorthon, 3 1 A.D. ?" "Kind of light porn, but I don't even want to go into it." "You try out for the Village People?" "lf l tell you, will you drop it?" "Please tell me." "My marriage counselor." "My ex and I were on the rocks." "He said get a hobby." "And that's it?" "That's it." "Can I ask you something?" "Yeah." "Why'd you become a cop, anyway?" "You mean you were a better mime?" "Would you like to see my skills?" "I got the car." "Don't worry." "You can mime words too." "Watch." "Fuck you." "Okay." "I'm impressed." "There's a glass wall here." "Thanks for the ride." "Surprise!" "What did you do?" "You don't like it?" "No, I don't." "Tell Don Johnson we found his apartment." "I don't know what you were thinking." "I want it back." "Now!" "Okay, Mitch." "Just relax, okay?" "We didn't touch the pottery." "We're giving you sex appeal." "Just stop." "without my permission." "You don't have the right." "Get this dog out." "Powder's yours." "He looks like an addict." "Want me to be sympathetic?" "Put my stuff back." "I'll be sympathetic." "Until then, I won't be." "How can you say no to that face, Mitch?" "I can say no very easily." "No, Powder." "Get out." "Don't be like that." "It's just a dog, man." "Come here, Powder." "You're a good boy." "Shit!" "Maybe Mitch is right." "Get rid of the dog." "Watch your ass, Powder." "Okay." "Move it." "Dispatch, this is Armor 323" "This is Showtime One." "We're on it." "Okay." "Annie, get the dish up." "Julio, go!" "That's definitely our gun." "Watch it!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Let's go!" "Move it!" "Damn!" "We lost picture!" "Slow down!" "There he is!" "I got him!" "You getting this?" "Yeah!" "Jump!" "Jump!" "Jump!" "You gotta jump!" "Now!" "Come on, Mitch!" "Do it!" "Now that was some good hood-jumping!" "You all right?" "You okay?" "I think two drops of pee came out." "You're off the show, Sellars." "You're busted to patrol." "And we're screwed." "See you back on the tape, Top Cop." "Being a police officer is not what you see on TV!" "Your showboating put this city at risk." "I expect that of Trey, not you." "It just escalated." "Chief is pulling the plug on the show." "What?" "PR is having a heart attack." "You blew it. I'm relieving you of duty, pending an investigation." "What, do you want me to turn in my gun and my badge?" "Ben, come on." "I just want you to go home till this shitstorm settles." "Do your pottery projects." "What?" "He's touching the pecker-cam." "There's a lens in those eyes." "My woodpecker?" "Don't break it." "I said no cameras." "He broke it." "I'll get you another one." "Talk to him." "He's got issues." "He hates cameras." "We're here to take the dog." "The dog stays." "We have orders." "He's an officer." "Touch him and I'll shoot you." "Go, go, go." "Good boy, Powder." "Good boy." "on my head." "Check it." "You're Nick Load, and I'm John Lock." "Nick who?" "Nick Load." "You're Nick Load. I'm John Lock." "Together, we're Lock and Load." "... beforehehitbig withER." "So you see?" "I don't wanna be the guy putting up the caution tape." "I was feeling this detective thing." "Listen, you have heat on your acting career right now." "If you don't strike while the iron is hot, it'll pass you by." "Whatever. I'm gonna go see this last episode of Showtime." "You had your food." "None for you." "You're off the show, Sellars." "You're busted to patrol." "What happens to Mitch?" "He's relieved of duty." "Mitch is my partner." "He's the only person I can depend on." "Not my family, not my friends." "Just him." "That's beautiful, Sellars." "What do you want me to do?" "If he's relieved, I should be." "If you want it, you're relieved too." "Okay." "I'm relieved, then." "Okay." "All right." "Who is this?" "lt's me, Mitch." "New day, new way." "Me too. I'm eating a TV dinner." "So what's up?" "l just, you know... ." "I wanted to tell you that..." "... whatyoudidwas apretty standup thing and..." "Whatever questions, I'll be around." "l'd make a great detective?" "You'd make an okay detective." "No." "Quick question." "You gotta be kidding." "Relax. I'm just joking, man." "No, something on the show." "So you are watching the show." "Yeah." "Me too." "What did you see?" "Charlie Hertz, works for ballistics." "That guy outside Lazy Boy's." "Yeah, but I gotta see it again." "Don't worry, I'm recording it." "I record them all." "Why am I not surprised?" "Let me rewind this thing." "lt is Charlie Hertz." "lt is?" "lt's definitely him." "What's he doing with Vargas?" "Where are the lights?" "We definitely found our gunmaker." "This is definitely his workshop." "Look at all this shit." "What happened to the days when people just grew pot?" "King Rental Trucks, may I help you?" "You mean the Mitch Preston?" "The one on Showtime?" "That's me." "Oh, my God!" "Calm down, we just need some information about a truck." "Mr. Hertz picked one up this morning." "Was there a tracking device on it?" "Yes, Mitch, there was." "Is Trey with you?" "Can I speak to him?" "Sure, here." "Trey?" "This Trey?" "Yeah." "I love you, baby!" "Say, "Showtime. "" "It's showtime!" "This bitch is crazy." "Okay, all right." "Bye-bye." "See how popular I am?" "All right, thanks." "We got a hit on the truck at the Bonaventure." "What's going on?" "Gun show." "Nice guns." "Come on back." "It's okay." "Thanks for the call." "Find that footage?" "You went out on a limb." "Excuse me." "Hello, gun lovers." "My name is Chase Renzi from the hit series Showtime." "I'm here because we need your help." "We believe these two men are in the building." "They are armed and extremely dangerous." "What the hell?" "There they are!" "Vargas!" "Don't move." "Oh, shit!" "Mitch!" "Guys, wait up!" "Why don't I go up and make a nice list of demands?" "I can help you here." "Get in!" "Just take it easy, all right?" "Easy!" "Vargas?" "There's no way out." "All right." "But first, slide your weapons in here." "Slide your weapons in here." "What?" "What'd you say?" "Slide in your weapons." "Hold on. I gotta change the tape." "You thinking what I'm thinking?" "Yeah, I am." "What are you doing?" "Shut up." "Mitch, no." "Don't do that." "Man!" "I've got demands." "We have a cameraman out here so you can tell the world what you want." "Okay." "Throw in your weapons." "Here they come." "Ready?" "Stay there." "Easy." "Where's the cameraman?" "He's afraid." "so he'll do the shooting." "I'll do it." "You ever been on TV before?" "It's very simple." "Look at the red light." "Tell the people what's on your mind." "You got him all lined up?" "Yeah." "Let's shoot." "Mitch?" "Trey!" "Where are you?" "Over here!" "What are you doing?" "Hold on!" "Oh, God!" "Now it's your turn to smile for the cameras." "Get that camera out of here!" "Keep that camera where it is!" "Annie, you deal with it, girl." "What's going on with your new recruits?" "They're not bonding." "They don't have our chemistry." "Which is why you ought to guest star in the next episode." "Not in a million years." "That's a yes." "I know, and believe me, I'm working on him." "See you at 8, Mitch." "I made you something." "For passing the detective exam." "That is nice of you to do that." "Mitch, that's nice." "What is that?" "What is it?" "It's a loose change dish." "Of course it's a loose change dish." "I haven't seen this level of craftsmanship since kindergarten." "Detectives, your suspect's waiting." "Be right with you." ""Detective Sellars. " lt has a nice ring to it." "Come on, Top Cop, it's showtime." "I'm sorry, I can't... ." "Book 'em, Danno." "You're under arrest!" "You under arrest, mother* * * * er!" "I'm sorry." "This Preston character needs to come to life." "He doesn't have any balls." "Well, he has balls." "Do you feel lucky, punk?" "Who said that?" "Miami gente!" "I'm sorry, I did the wrong thing." "You don't think we're" "Say that in Ebonic!" "I'm tired." "Who are you?" "l'm Annie." "You need a daddy?" "Yes or no?" "It used to be "Oh, yeah," now it's "Oh, Bill. "" "It's showtime!" "It's showtime." "Get that camera out of here!" "Subtitles by sdl Media Group" "[english]"