"My name is Richard Mayhew" "Three days ago I find this girl bleeding on the pavement." "So, I stopped to help her." "I mean, I did help her." "Maybe a bit too much." "Next thing I knew, I'd lost my job, my home, my fiance." "and noone seemed to know who I was anymore." "Right now I'm somewhere under London." "And I'm in trouble." "Episode 2:" "Knightsbridge" "What?" "What is it?" "What is this?" "Who've you brought us, Iliaster?" "He's from Upworld." "Asking questions about the Floating Market... and Door." "I brought him to you, Lord Rat-speaker." "I figured you'd know what to do with him." "Oh yes." "I know exactly what to do with him." "Listen." "You're making a mistake, honestly." "I should slit you from gullet to gizzard and tell fortunes with your guts." "Can anyone here tell..." "Quiet!" "He says you look exceedingly familiar." "He wants to know if he's met you afore." "I suppose it's possible." "I'm afraid all rats look the same to me." "He says he was discharging an obligation to the marquis de Carabas." "Oh, It's that rat?" "Yes, actually, we've met." "Actually, I think I threw the TV remote at it." "Hello, Ratty." "Nice to see you again." "Do you know where Door is?" "But sir." "I haven't a soul to spare." "How about I slash his throat and send him down to the Sewer Folk..." "He's to be taken to the market." "Do you think I'm taking him down there." "You are out of your mind." "Not you." "Anaesthesia will take him." "She is expendable." "Do you like cats?" "Yeah, I quite like cats." "Thigh or breast?" "If I might have your attention, Mister Vandemar." "Pipe your beady eyes on this." "What's so clever about that." "You didn't hit even one finger." "Perhaps you'll show me how it should be done?" "Croup and Vandemar." "The Old Firm." "Obstacles obliterated, nuisances eradicated, bothersome limbs removed and tutelary dentistry." "Oh." "Yes, sir." "Yes, indeed" "Might I say how your telephonic confabulation brightens up and cheers our otherwise dull and uneventful day?" "Sir, are you implaying that mister Valdemar and I were trying to terminate the young girl's bodily funtions." "Well, perhaps." "But only a little." "It shall not occur again." "Sir, in the matter of our contract..." "You think you're so damned clever..." "Stop that." "Who was that?" "Our principal." "He seems to think we have been a little overzelous in our duties." "Now little Miss Door has announce she will be hiring a bodyguard..." " at the Market, tonight." " So?" "So, Mister Vandemar, shall we not also hire ourselves a bodyguard?" "We don't need a bodyguard, Mister Croup." "We hurt people." "We don't get hurt." "Oh, Mister Vandemar, if you cut us, do we not bleed?" "No." "You're a rat, are you?" "I'm a rat-speaker." "We talk to rats." "What, just chat to them?" "Oh no." "We do stuff for them too." "There are some things rats can't do, you know." "Well?" "Say 'Open sesame,' or whatever it is that you do." "I'm really not sure I'm doing the right thing." " Fine." "I'll be seeing you, then." " Hold on." "It's just hard." "The last time I was here, ...you found your family dead." "I could wish you the very best of luck in your future career, but I rather doubt you'll live long enough to have one." "You're a piece of work, aren't you?" "I'll take us in." "That hurt." "Memories..." "They're imprinted in the walls" "You could have warned me." "Quite remarkable." "An associative house," "Every room of which is located somewhere else." "It's so imaginative" "We should have been safe here." "Let's hope your father's journal gives us some clues." "Where do we start looking?" "He used to go into his study, and private the links until he'd finished dictating." "We'll start in the study, then." "But I looked there." "I did." "I looked for it." "When I was cleaning up the body." "There." "There." "Can you... can you just give me a sec?" " I'll be fine." " Fine." "Who were they?" "They called themselves Velvet." "Sleep down here in the day and walk the Upworld at night." "Are they dangerous?" "Everybody is dangerous." "Something wrong?" "Only everything." "Have you always lived down there?" "Nah." "I was born up here." "You don't want to hear about me." "I do." "Have you tried to return to the real London?" "You can't." "Is one or the other." "Nobody ever gets both." "Can he see us?" "Is more that he doesn't notice us." "Hey, he's gonna jump." "Eh!" "Idiot!" "What the hell were you trying to do?" "Where did you come from?" " I think I just save your life." " Awesome." "It just they didn't notice us!" "And even if they do, they forget all about you." "Surprise!" "Further movements are not recommended." "Mister Vandemar might have a little accident with his old toad-sticker." "Most accidents occur in the home." "Is that not so, Mister Vandemar?" "I don't trust statistics, Mister Croup." "Hello daddy." "You mother." "You sister." "Your brother and your father." "All dead." "How did you escape?" "I was lucky." "I'd gone off exploring for a few days..." "Did you know there are still some Roman soldiers camped out by the Kilburn River?" "They were deserters from the Nineteenth Legion, I think." "Anyway, when I got back here..." "Pull yourself together, we have to find out who did this." "We know who did this." "It was Croup and Vandemar" "They're arms." "Hands." "Fingers." "There's a head that ordered it, ...that wants you dead, too." "Now." "His journal?" "It is here!" "How are we, Varney?" "Well, we trust?" "In fine form, fetlock and fettle for the market tonight?" "Do you know who we are?" "There is talk that a certain young lady will be auditioning bodyguards this evening." "Had you thought of trying out for the task?" "Enunciate clearly." "Varney's the best bravo and guard in the Underside, everyone knows that." "They say I'm the best since Hunter's day." "Well then 'best bravo and guard,'" "We want you to go to the market tonight." "We want you become that certain young lady's personal bodyguard." "Then, once you got the job." "You may guard her from the rest of the world, but when we want her, we take her." "Got it?" "Are you bribing me?" "No, we're threatening you." "And if you don't do what Mister Croup says, we're... hurting you... very badly, before killing you even badlier." "Then I'm working for you, aren't I?" "Welcome aboard." "Here." "Well done." "I don't know how I could have missed it before." "You were upset." "I was certain it would be here." "And I am so rarely wrong." "How does this work?" "What is a floating market going to be like?" "It's very big." "I got this there, look." "I sold some stuff for it." "Nice." "To tell the truth..." "You'll laugh at me." "I'm a little scared." "Scared?" "Of the market?" "No." "There's a truce in the market." "What are you scared of, then?" "Getting there, really." "They hold it in a different places." "It moves around." "And to get to the place where it'll be tonight we'll have to go through a really nasty neighborhood." "And where would that be?" "Knightsbridge." "Knightsbridge!" "It applies to all of us who live here in London below." "I am of the opinion that what cripples us is our petty factionalism." "The system of baronies and fiefdoms is foolish, it's divisive." "I don't know how long I've got before they get to this room." "I think my poor Portia and the other children are dead." "Now, listen to me, girl." "Go to Islington." "You ..." "Trust Islington!" "We were working together to bring the peace." "You must believe me, child." "Islington" "Door, Door, avenge us." "Avenge your family." "Islington" "I've never had any dealings with Islington." "I thought it was just a legend." "Not at all." "We are gonna find out who killed my family." "And we are gonna avenge them." "I've never crossed the bridge before." "Someone was in my way." "Someone should watch where they are going." "You leave him alone." "He's my friend" "You all right?" "Yeah, fine." "That was really brave of you." "If you are crossing the bridge, I will go with you." "You're welcome to join us." "I'm Richard Mayhew." "This is Anaesthesia." "She's the one us who knows what she's doing." "You're from London Above." "Yes." "Travelling with a rat-speaker." "My word." "I'm his guardian." "Who do you owe fealty to?" "I owe no man fealty, rat-girl." "Have either of you crossed Night's Bridge before?" "No." "Well." "Isn't this going to be fun?" "Is there anything, really, to be scared of?" "Only the night on the bridge." "The kind in armor?" "The kind that comes when day is over." "Now is the time to be afraid of the dark" "We would appear to have crossed successfully." "Anaesthesia?" "Come on... we got to..." "We have to go..." "Where is she?" "She is gone." "The bridge takes its toll." "Be grateful it didn't take you too." "Now the market." "Come." "Why are you going to this market, anyway." "I sell personal physical services." "Och" "There?" "Under there" "Well." "You're here." "Safe and, more or less, sound." "I have business to attend to." "Fare you well." "I'm looking for a girl called Door." "Do you know where I'd find her?" "You need a bird, sir?" "I got rooks and ravens, crows and starlings." "Fine, wise birds." "Tasty and wise." "Brilliant." "No, thank you." "Information?" "Roof-maps?" "Hang on." "I knows you." "You was with the marquis de Carabas" "On the rooftops." "Eh?" "I'm Old Bailey." "Remember me?" "Actually, I'm looking for the marquis." "And a young lady named Door." "Diversify!" "You can't sell rooks for the stewpot forever anyway, they taste like boiled slipper." "And they're so stupid." "Thick as custard." " You ever eaten rook?" " No" "What'll you give me?" "I..." "Sorry?" "If'n I give ye your information." "I don't have any money." "There..." "That!" "My hankie?" "Never you fear, laddie." "Your quest is at an end." "Go down there, down that steps." "You can't miss them." "They're auditioning." "Enough of your beak." "Thank'ee... for the little flag." "That one's promising." "He doesn't look very nice." "Nice in a bodyguard, is about as useful as the ability to regurgitate whole lobsters." "He looks dangerous." "Door!" "Richard?" "Door?" "I don't believe this." "Temple and Arch, Richard." "What are you doing here?" "It's nice to see you, too." "What is happening?" "You, are out of your depth, in deep shit and, I would imagine, a few hours away from an untimely and undoubtedly messy end." "We, on the other hand, are auditioning bodyguards." "I think we've seen enough." "Thank you all." "Mister Varney, if you could wait behind?" "Why did you have to come here?" "I didn't really have much choice." "And your previous satisfied employers include?" "Olympia, Crouch Enders..." "We're all very impressed with your skill." "I thought you were hiring professionals." "Not competent amateurs." "I'm here to audition." "Very well." "I have to fight... her." "Yes." "Unless you'd like a little lie down, first." "Try something like that again... and I'll break up both your arms and make you carry them both in your teeth." "Enough." "I'm called Hunter." "The Hunter." "That's right." "I'm back." "Five minutes." "Where are we going?" "We are looking for Islington." "Not a journey I've ever made." "Well, Earl's Court contains all the shortcuts in the underside." "We need to find Earl's Court, then." "I was afraid you were going to say that." "Can you stop people kidding me?" " Can you take orders?" " If I have to." "Good." "Then maybe I can keep you alive." "You're dead." "You are bloody dead." "Look, I really don't want to be a pain in the ass." "But what about me?" "It's like I've walked into a nightmare." "I want my life back." "You won't get it back traveling with us, Richard." "It's going to be hard enough for you anyway." "I really am sorry" "Hang on." "Door!" "Door!" "Go away." "Look, you're on your own." "If you can survive for the first day or two, you might even make it through a whole month Best of luck." "Shit!" "Varney's the finest bravo and guard in the Underside." "Everyone knows that." "Mister Varney told us so himself." "It's not nice to lie, Mister Croup." "No, no, noooooo" "Really, we ought to look upon it as a mercy killing." "Richard..." "What?" "You really wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me, and I don't think you'll be any safer with us, but..." "Coming?" "Well, I am not doing anything else right now." "Why not?" "Where are we going?" "Right now we are looking for a angel called Islington." "Oh, an angel." "Of course" "An angel ...called Islington" "We've got a long way to go." "An angel."