" Steve Young takes the snap." " Jerry Rice goes long." "He throws a perfect 60-yard pass and hits..." " A blue 1995 Buick Regal." " Run!" " They're not moving." " Maybe they lapped us." "Uh, Frankie, Joey, I realize it's none of my business why you're not beating us up, but why aren't you beating us up?" "Maybe they don't understand." "I'll translate." "Why ain't you pounding us to a pulp?" "Here... here, let me try." "Hey!" "Why no this?" "Sorry, the thrill is gone." "Too bad." "What you got there?" " It's a letter from Harley Keiner." " It's OK, Joey." "How's Harley doing in his new reform school?" "It's called juvenile boot camp." "He loves it, thank you very much." "He never wants to come home." "He doesn't say it here, but I think he's got a new gang." " Are you OK?" " You don't get it." "We're lackeys..." "We're hangers-on with nothing to hang on to." "Come on, Joey, we might as well go to class." "It's come to this." "OK, we're back live." "Second half." " Steve Young back to pass." " Jerry Rice is open." "He throws!" " Intercepted." " By Feeny." "The wily veteran." " I stink." " I agree." "Have you seen your latest test score?" "If Mr. Matthews stinks, you, Mr. Hunter, are as odoriferous as a dead man in July." "A 12." "How do you get a 12?" "I don't know." "You ever open a book?" "What?" "A book!" "Do you ever open a book?" "What?" "!" "Don't ask me, I got a 16." "Gentlemen, do you ever go home and open a book?" "What?" "I want you to go home this afternoon and open a book!" "I don't care what you had otherwise planned," "I order you..." "Nay, I command you." "Go home and open a book!" " George?" " What?" "!" "Watch this." "Hi, boys... nice boys." "Nice boys." "Fellas, did you hear anything Mr. Feeny just said?" " No." " He's real mad." " Do you have any idea why?" " No," " he just started yelling like a crazy man." " Huh." "You know, I'd give up on them, but I don't think they'd notice." "What?" "Guys, I hate to add to your troubles, but your book reports were due on my desk by the end of the class." "Hey, he took our ball, man." "Hey, wait, I didn't hear anything about any book reports." "I only mentioned it every day in class for the last two weeks." "Look, Mr. Turner, just give us 'till Wednesday?" "I swear we'll have them in." " Tuesday?" " I'm grading them Sunday." "So Tuesday?" "Please, Mr. Turner, help me bring up my grades." " I just got a 16." " And I got a 12." " Between us it makes 24." " 28." "Thanks." "OK, I'll throw you one." "Have your papers in my hand, at my place, Sunday, 5:00, not a minute later." "All right, Mr. Turner, I should tell you..." "My dog ate it." "Not yet." "How's your homework coming, honey?" " Great." "I'm acing it." " Making sandwiches is homework?" "Making their own lunches teaches them to be self-reliant and grown-up." "I'm making Wonder Bread, Cheeze Whiz and Lucky Charms." "Ugh." "Honey, let me give you a couple of pointers here" " She needs to make her own mistakes." " She's well on her way." "I mean, look at this, this is disgusting." "Nobody's gonna want to eat this." "Hey, that's not bad." "What the heck have you discovered here?" " What you eating, Dad?" " Lucky Charms and Cheeze Whiz." " You want some?" " It's Morgan's, right?" " Uh-huh." " You tried Froot Loops on pita?" "Tomorrow." "They ran a promotion at the store, and guess what you won?" "Two passes to Sliding Rapids Mountain." "Excellent!" "Yep, you and your brother should have a blast." "Ah, no, no, no, no..." "See, when I look at this ticket," "I see someone in a skimpy wet bikini." "Well, that's entirely up to Cory." "You know what I can't figure out, Shawn?" "How do these other kids get their work in on time and get such good grades?" "Well, I got a theory, Cor." "See, it runs in the family." "Our ancestors were all slackers and goof-offs and now we're paying the price." "That's a good theory." "All right, if I make this one, we start." "(Feeny) Open a book!" "What?" "!" "I wish there was some way to do a book report without reading the book." "They can put a man on the moon, but you still gotta read." "I got it!" "We rent the movie and copy the junk on the back of the box." " You're a genius!" " What, you think that 16 was an accident?" "Shawn, watch this." "Hey, guys!" "Look, look... milk money." "See it?" "Smell it!" "Feel it." "Can't you just imagine how good you'd feel just ripping this from my hands and stuffing me in the garbage can?" "Wow!" "Cort, stick your whole head in Frankie's mouth." "Come on, guys." "What have we ever done to you?" "Ohh..." "Look at us, we're pathetic." "We just gotta face the facts - Harley's gone and he ain't coming back." "Never... never... never." " We need a new leader." " No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" "The times they're a-changin', Frankie." "Today is the first day of the rest of our lives." " I can't believe it's not butter." " You make a lot of sense." "A new leader, but who?" "Yo, Jasmine!" "Did you know that our bodies are 98% water?" "If you can squeeze that other 2% into a bikini," "I've got two tickets to our natural habitat." "That's great." "Where's your ticket?" " I'm just about to pick it up." " I can't wait." "All right." " You thinking?" " I'm thinking." "Eric, can you take me to the video store after school?" "I gotta return my..." "you know... books." "You mean the tapes you used for your reports?" "That's them." "You know, it would be a shame if Mom and Dad found out about that." " I'll say." " So will I... unless I get your water park ticket." " You enjoy this, don't you?" " Does it show?" " Did you see that, Frankie?" " I'm getting all tingly." "I'm coming, I'm coming!" "(buzzer)" " Mr. Turner, we're here." " Oh, great." " 4:58." "We made it." " Sprinted six blocks," " ran up four flights of stairs..." " But we made it." "I admire your dedication." "Especially since the deadline is 5:00 tomorrow." " OK, we'll wait, then." " Give me." "Of Mice And Men- a poignant tale of two unlikely friends, set against the backdrop of the Great Depression." "Exceptional cast, powerfully acted." "Two thumbs up." "I've got a date." "I've gotta finish getting dressed, so have a seat, catch your breath, grab a soda from the fridge if you want." "Wow!" "I can't believe we're in Mr. Turner's place." "His private domain." "Inside a teacher's home." "What's the big deal, Cory?" "You've lived next to Feeny your whole life." "Yeah, but he's never let me inside his house." "At Halloween he always drops the candy off at my door." " Shawn, what are you doing?" " I'm checking out his CD's." " Put that down." "He'll know." " It's a CD." "How's he gonna know?" " Pick it up!" "Pick it up!" " Those might be piranhas." "Use your left hand." "Good idea." "Nice fish." "Nice fish." "Yeah, go over there." "Oh, but you can play with the truck." "He'll never notice." "Hey, look, Miss Tompkins' phone number." " Who?" " You know, that social studies teacher." "Oh, right, the blonde." "That must be who he's going out with." "Yeah, they'll probably go out to dinner and then see a movie and then... (both) Oh, man..." " (Turner) There's ice in the freezer!" " Ah... ah... we're fine." "We're OK." "Hey, Cory, check it out." "It's next week's lesson plans." " We can't look at that." " Yeah, well, I already saw." "Then let me see." "Tuesday, pop quiz." "Chaps eight, ten to sixteen." "Darn, it's in code." "Wow!" "I can't believe this." "This is top-secret information." "Exactly when the pop quiz is and what's on it." "This is very valuable." " (Turner) Hey guys...!" " Put it back!" "Put it back!" "What do you think?" "This shirt or the one I'm wearing?" " The one you're wearing is good." " Definitely the one you're wearing." "Anyway, Mr. Turner, we have to go." " No drinks?" " No drinks." "We'll take a rain check, OK?" "Yeah, my book is due back and I've gotta rewind it." "See you in class, Mr. Turner." "We have no right to know what we just found out." " We know when there's a test." " We know what to study." " We just might get good grades." " We finally beat the system!" "Yeah!" " What?" "!" " You spooked him." " I told you not to spook him." " If we're gonna hang with somebody," " he should know we're here." " Harley didn't know for months." "Ah, guys, what are you doin'?" " You tell us, we're here to serve." " We're your new lackeys." " "Lackeys," what do you mean?" " We do stuff you want." "We're like magic genies, but on a smaller scale." "I really appreciate that, guys, but no thanks." " Uh!" " A small token of our affection." "Seventh grader." "We put him in your locker." "You can torment him if you like?" "Just... go." "Guys... find somebody else." "But you're exactly what we're looking for, Rico." "Hey!" "My name is not Rico and I don't need lackeys." "Don't you guys get it?" "I hate you creepos." "You're scum." "Oh, really?" "I'd like to hear you say that again." " You're scum!" " Good, now smack me." "No, right here." "OK, everybody, books under your desks." "It's pop quiz day." "(class moans)" "That is so unfair, Mr. Turner." "You caught us totally off guard." "Totally." "Gee, if you're not ready, we'll just postpone 'till tomorrow." "No, no." "Those of us who haven't prepared will just have to pay the price." "So go ahead, pop us." "OK." "Number-two pencil, anyone?" "After reviewing the disciplinary report from your last school," "I was expecting a much brasher young man." "But I must say, you've been quiet and polite." "Now, if this is an attempt to lull me into a false sense of security," "I warn you, Griffin Hawkins, nobody pulls the wool over the eyes of George Feeny." "Mr. Feeny, Griffin Hawkins is here." "Who?" " The new transfer student." " Hi." "I'm Griffin Hawkins." "Call me Griff." "Thanks for filling in for me." "I didn't think I'd make it." "I'm not usually a morning person, but I wanted to make a good impression." " You're Griffin Hawkins?" " He sure is." "Thank you, Miss Gill." "You may go." " Do I have to?" " Yes." "Erica, we'll finish up later." "Take a seat, Mr. Hawkins." "Take another seat, Mr. Hawkins." "I figure, I'll be sitting in this seat so much," "I just wanted to take in the view from your side." "Mr. Hawkins, I will make this short and to the point." "This is my school." "You are a guest in my school." "And while you're here, you will toe the line and respect the rules." "Now, what is your first class?" "English Lit." "Hey, kid!" "Room 103, and take good notes." "Fine, Mr. Hawkins, that frees you up for detention with me." "Boy, that L.L. Bean catalog sure had some great stuff." "Topsiders, tennis sweaters..." "I feel like a stinkin' Kennedy." "And I was pleased to see that vertical stripes are a preppy staple." "I'm gonna count to three, turn around and you're gonna be gone." "One, two, three." "(both) Hey!" "Guys, find somebody else." "Excuse me, I'm supposed to be in English class." "Can anyone tell me where the cafeteria is?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa..." "I believe you were first." "Oh!" "Who's this guy think he is?" "Guys?" "Guys?" "Hey, guys, it's me." "Rico." " There he is." " Wow, look at him." "Cool, confident..." " I changed my mind." "I can't talk to him." " Hey, hey, hey..." "Don't get shy on me now." "You guys are perfect for each other." "Yeah, but..." "Oh, no, he's looking this way." "Joey, hide me." "What, are you kidding me?" "OK, guys, guys...." "All right, look, he's all by himself." " Why don't you go make your move?" " I don't know." "Hey, Griff!" " Do I know you?" " No, but as a guy with a reputation myself," "I admire your work." "Eric Matthews." " Hey." " How are ya?" "I was wondering if you knew my friends, Joey and Frankie?" " Hi, I'm Joey, this is Frankie." " Hello." "Hey, I saw you guys." "I saw you guys hanging out at school." " Ha!" "Huh!" " You sure it was us?" "You were the guys sucking quarters out of the soda machine, right?" "Oh, yeah, you want change for a dollar?" "Frankie, burp." "It's OK, it's OK." "I'm..." " So, what can I do for ya?" " Well, actually, Griff," "I think the question is, what can they do for you?" "We're lackeys." "92!" "Wow, I've gotten a nine, I've gotten a two, but never together." " What you get?" " 96." " Well, jump up and down!" " I can't." " Why not?" " Because we both know I studied for it." "So did I. That's why we didn't tell anybody." "Yeah, but I feel like a cheater." "Shawn, I can't live like this." "I never should have studied." "Boy, what I wouldn't give for an F right now." "Oh, oh... my stomach." "This is the way it is." "We both studied and we got good grades." "Now deal with it." "Oh... oh... now my head hurts." "We gotta tell Turner." "It's the right thing to do." "No, Cory, come on!" "I got a 92." "This one grade alone gives me a decent shot at a trade school." "Oh... oh, boy... ah..." "Come on, can't you just take them on a trial basis?" "Look at these little faces." "It's really tough to say no to you guys, but... uh, no." " You the lady-killer?" " I like to think so." " So you're Griff?" " Over here." "So you're Griff." "Must be tough to live in a world where not everyone's name is stitched on their jacket..." "Tommy." "I heard you were funny." "I heard a lot of things about you." "You can't believe everything you hear." "You know, well, I heard it from Laurette." "My girlfriend." "Well, her you can believe." "You wanna step outside and talk about this?" "Actually, we'd love to step outside and talk." "We just love to talk." "Frankie and me, we're a couple of regular chatterboxes." "Maybe you've seen our show, Meet the Fist?" " Hey, look, this is between me and him." " No, we're between you and him." "OK, then, uh..." "Just have her home by ten." "Great." "See, Griff, they're very handy." "It would save me time talkin' my way out of these inevitable situations." "Hey, you've not even scratched our surface." " What else do you do?" " Just different variations of that." "Mr. Turner?" "Matthews and Hunter, the A-team." "How does it feel, being at the top of the curve?" " Great!" "Glad we talked about it." "Bye." " No, my stomach." "Mr. Turner, I gotta tell you..." "We knew about the quiz in advance." "We..." "We kind of saw it at your house in your lesson plan." " The one I left open on my desk?" " Yeah." "The one I easily could have covered, but I didn't?" "Yeah, that's the one." "All right, what's going on here, Mr. Turner?" "If that's your real name." " I want you to get good grades." " By letting us cheat?" "Guys, that assignment has been the homework for the last two weeks." "It has?" "Wait." "You mean you want us to know what to study?" "Well, I'm lost." "It's the whole idea." "I stand in front of the class and talk, you learn." "It's called education." "So that's why this building exists." "Some of us are students and..." "some of us are teachers." "And if the students listen to the teachers, then..." "Oh, I almost got it." " Then they get good grades." " Yeah, but why?" "!" "Why do you think, Shawn?" "Because if you get good grades, it means you've actually learned something." " Am I close?" " Close." " Wouldn't you say, George?" " I must say I'm surprised, Mr. Turner." "You know, guys, you can get A's again, anytime you want." "You mean we can look at your lesson plan?" "Absolutely." "It's up there on the blackboard, everyday." "(both) Whoa!" "Now get outta here." "Go home and open a book." "You got it." "Hold it, Mr. Matthews, Mr. Hunter." "Am I to understand that you've heard all this and are now going home to open a book?" " Yeah, we heard him load and clear." " He was talkin' right to us." " I believe we said $20." " Yeah, yeah." "Whoa, who was that?" "You like it, you got it." "Come on, Frankie." "Yogi, Boo Boo, back." "I just want to know her name." "Yo, cookie!" "What's your name?" "Guys!" "If you're gonna hang with me, you gotta chill." "Mellow out." "Shawn, look, there they are." "The thugs formerly known as thugs." "Shawn, look!" "A trash can." "Let's take a look inside." "Isn't that dangerous with Frankie and Joey watching?" "I am scared, but I'm willing to take a chance." "Hey, hey... can we?" "Knock yourselves out." "(both) Hello!" " Shawn, is it safe?" " No, I hear someone coming." "(chewing gum)" "(Cory) Hey, where'd you get the gum?"