"THE CRUSH" ""A TRUE STORY THAT COULD BE A FAI RYTALE"" "ONCE UPON A TI ME, A FEW WEEKS AGO, THERE WAS A BOY CALLED ANDREA..." " What's that supposed to mean?" " It's a chirp." " What's it for?" " It's a signal." "I'm calling a friend." " Where is she?" " Up there, behind that window." "Try it again." "Can she see you?" "I don't know." "But as soon as she can find an excuse to come down, she will." "Good for you." "It's kids' stuff, but kids can be important, too." "Sure." "Every guy has his own technique for picking up girls." "Some feign indifference." "Some are very passionate." "But that's not in at the moment." "Some act tough, but most guys act sad." "Who knows why, but falling in love makes them sad and surly." "They look preoccupied." "My technique, very little used but perhaps the most effective, is to use ideas and self-control." "I talk and talk until they're totally confused, and the trick is done." " Do you know how old I am?" " Fifteen." "Let's say 16." "You may find it strange, but at 16, a boy can already be a man." "It depends on the kind of experiences he's had in life." "I started having experiences early." "Andrea." "Now, then, Andrea, let's see how well prepared you are." "What's that?" "What's he talking about?" "It looks like a dot to me." "Maybe for you and your friends it's just a dot." "But since your physics teacher is asking, there could be another answer." "Now, then, what is it?" " A shape." " What nonsense." "An element?" "It's not an element." "Anything could be an element." "A coordinate." "Then you tell me." "You want me to tell you?" "All right, you know what?" "No, don't say anything." "I get it." "You're so cool." "Dad, if I'm promoted this year, will you get me a moped?" "They can't be that expensive." "I don't care how much it costs." "It doesn't matter." "If I go to school on my moped, I'll save the bus fare." "Besides, everybody has one." "How's a kid like me supposed to have fun without a moped?" "How did I have fun?" "At your age I was already in Africa, in the army." "You enlisted." "Because I couldn't make a living." "I didn't have a penny to my name, unlike you kids today." "At least nowadays people don't enlist anymore." "Idiot." "Let's have a party at your house." "We'll make a list of all the boys." "We'll give the list to the girls, and they'll put their name next to the boy they like best." "You get it?" "That way we'll know where we stand without all the fuss." "We won't have to waste time asking the girls if they want to go out." "How can we be sure, though?" "Listen, Casanova, if you have any doubts, call me." "We'll eliminate all the downtime." "It's an industrial concept applied to love." "Hey, Mimma." " Hey, you got rich." " Yeah, I killed James Bond." "We're all going to his house to listen to a new LP." " Sounds like fun." " Tell Fulvia and " "Who's that girl?" " Who?" " The short one." " Who knows?" "She's cute." "The violins." "The trombones." "Here." "There are seven speakers." "They have to be balanced so that each piece is well mixed." " Where's the " " At the end of the hallway." "This is one of my favorite moments, in terms of both melody and harmony." "You're right." " Look what I found." " What is it?" " A movie camera." " Let's make a movie." " What kind of movie?" " A love story." " No, a mystery." " A police drama." "Okay, we'll make a romantic police mystery." "I'll be one of the actors." "I've made some commercials." "It was an ad for an insecticide." "I was the pesky fly." "Okay, listen." "Mimma will play the wife, and you'll be the husband." " What do I have to do?" " Hold on." "This is still the mystery." "The love story comes later." "Mimma will be reading in the chair." "Do you have a book?" " In the other room." "Never mind." "We'll do without." "You're asleep." " I'm always asleep." "So you're asleep." "And while you're sleeping " " A burglar comes in." "No burglars." "Your husband leaves." "What do you mean?" "You leave." "You go out." "You get up and say, "Well, I'm leaving."" "And you leave." " And then what?" "You leave, but you're only pretending to leave." " And I hide behind the curtain." " Good." "Now you've got it." " So she's going to cheat on me." " We don't know that yet." "The story is still shrouded in mystery." "Come on." "Let's shoot." "Ready?" "You sleep." " What do I do?" "You play your scene." "You get up, you say good-bye, and you leave." "Say good-bye." " Bye, I'm leaving." " Bye." " Bye." "Now you act casual, and you hide behind the curtain." " Look how he walks." " Bravo!" " You're amazing!" " We want your autograph." "Now what happens?" "Mimma, now you open the closet." " Why?" " Because I'm hiding inside." "If I'd known what you had in mind, I would have written the script." " Come on out." " No, this is where they all go wrong." "They always come out of the closet, but this time you'll come inside." "Yeah, genius, then what would I shoot?" "I'm not getting in that closet with you." "Too bad." "It was a very original idea." "Okay, throw your arms around my neck." "Come on!" "Arms around my neck, and then we kiss." "What's the matter?" "Are you shy?" " What's your name?" " What's yours?" " Jeanine." " Andrea." " Are you new here?" " No." "You're the new one." " Two weeks." " Then you're almost a native." "Are you coming to Fabrizio's party on Sunday?" "I think so." "If you come, there's a list with all our names." "My name is Andrea." " I know." "Is the list ready?" "Who has it?" " Bruno." " Where is that jughead?" "Don't waste your time." "Fabrizio tried to pick her up on Sunday, but nothing doing." "Good." "Serves him right." " Where did she come from?" " Who?" " That girl." " Jeanine?" "She's French." "Airmail delivery to her grandmother because of a broken heart." "She had a crush on a 40-year-old man." "You're too green, I'm afraid." "And you don't know much for a girl your age." "Study, my dear girl, and learn." "You're so slick." "This party is so boring." "Come on, you love bugs, enough already with the slow dances." "Let's put some life in the party." " Hi,Jeanine." " Hi." "I'll bet they still do things the old-fashioned way in France." " Why?" " They don't use the list of names." "That's something I made up to eliminate downtime." "Downtime?" "The time wasted courting girls, arranging who'll go with whom." "It's all wasted time." "It's a lot easier with the list." "It's an industrial concept applied to courtship." "It makes me proud to think that a boy from Milan has something to teach a girl from Paris in these matters." " Why?" " I think Grandpa would be proud." "After all the money he spent to go to Paris and gain experience." "Listen, why don't we relieve our hosts of our presence?" " What?" " Let's get out of here." " Can we do that?" " We won't tell anyone." "We'll just go." "Where will we go?" "Somewhere." "Are we going to kiss?" "What's so funny?" "Do you wear your glasses when you kiss?" "Why do you ask?" "Now I can't see." "What's the matter?" "My heart just stopped beating." " How can I tell you how happy I am?" " Just say you're happy." " But it's so much more." " So much more?" "I like being with you." "Do you think we'll stay together for a long time?" "Would you stay with me forever?" " Me too, but I'd like to start over." " What do you mean?" " As if we'd just met." " Why?" "I'd like to court you." "That would go against all your industrial ideals." "Didn't you say that time spent courting was wasted?" "It doesn't matter." "I'd like to court you for several days." "That way we'd be pining for each other." "Then, the first kiss." "I'd like to give you the first kiss again." "Your grandfather was right, then." "We're practically family." "But do you promise not to drink or embarrass me?" "I promise... if I can kiss the bride." " Only in front of witnesses." " Then I'd better steal a private kiss." "Mr. Bernard." "Mr. Bernard, would you kiss the bride again?" "In my day, we were polite enough to do that in the back rows." "He's jealous." "Take a look in the mirror." " Do you like them?" " Yes." "I'm not sure about the color." "My dress will be blue and white." "An evening dress." " Wait just a minute." "What are you doing New Year's Eve?" "I don't know." " Shall we spend it together?" " All right." "I give you my word that I won't make any other arrangements." "How about you?" "All right." "I think these would be perfect." "Would you like to try them on?" " Yes, please." " I'd like a bottle of gin." " What brand?" "The one with the red man on the label." "I'll know it if I see it." "There's a selection over there." "But I'd like an empty bottle." " Empty?" " Yes,just the bottle." "Now what?" "Nothing." "I broke a liquor bottle." "Look at that mess." "Now you're stealing liquor too?" "I was looking for my pen." "In there?" "What a mess!" "It was a brand-new bottle." " You clean it up now, you hear?" " All right." "It's always something with that boy." "Yeah, go ahead and wear bangs, as if you kids didn't look dumb enough already." "I'm leaving." "Bye." " Andrea." " What is it?" " Come here a minute." " Come on." "I'm already late." " Come closer." " What do you want?" "Why did you lock yourself in the bathroom earlier?" "Are you wearing my perfume?" " As if I'd wear a woman's perfume." "Nothing would surprise me with you kids these days." "Now he's going out with no coat on, so he can look tough." "Hey, watch it!" "You scuffed my shoes." "I just bought them this morning, and for a pretty penny too." "You ruined my evening." "I just bought them this morning." "Go on." "It's New Year's Eve." "Get out, you slut!" "I'll teach you a lesson!" "I'm going to bash your car in!" "You should never hit a woman." "She's no woman." "She's a slut!" "That one's mine!" "I'm sorry, but I'm in a big rush." "This is already my second trip." "Sixteen bottles of wine, four cakes, two turkeys, hors d'oeuvres, salmon, fruit, champagne and candy." "And we won't leave the table until it's all gone." "Just think, there are only six of us." "Happy New Year!" "To Musocco, please." "The taxis are this way." "Come on." "You think you're all by yourself?" "Move it." "Don't drag your feet, slowpoke!" " Have you been waiting long?" " A taxi just left." "Who knows how long we'll have to wait?" "I told you to hurry up." "Lord,just be quiet." "Are you in a hurry?" " A little, actually." " Of course." "He's young." "Kids want to have fun, and so they should." "Because see what happens later?" "You find yourself an old witch, and it's "good-bye, Charlie."" "You old boor!" "I'm sorry." "I'm already late." "Go on." "Go and have fun." "She's like salt cod." "She'll last longer if I keep her out in the cold." " Where to?" " Via Maselli 24." "That's around the corner!" "We're picking someone up." "Then we're going someplace else." "I see." "Look at this fog, tonight of all nights." "With all the work there is to do, it had to be foggy tonight!" "Come on, young man, smile!" "What's the long face for?" "Did you say number 24?" "Yes, 24." "This is 22." "Number 24 can't be far." "Let's wait here a minute, till 9:30." "That's just two minutes." "What time do you have?" " It's past 9:30." " When is she coming down?" "I can't wait that long." "This is a good night for us." "If I don't work tonight - What are we waiting for?" "Women can't be trusted." "I guess I'll get out." "You can go." " Why don't you go up and get her?" " I'll wait downstairs." "How much do I owe you?" " Two-twenty." " Maybe I'll make her walk." " That's right." "Make her walk." "The more you mistreat them, the more they love you." "Take my advice." "Do it." "Good night." " What are you doing New Year's Eve?" " I don't know." "I give you my word that I won't make any other arrangements." "How about you?" "All right." " What's wrong?" " Why do you ask?" " You look sad." " No, I'm happy." " Well, then?" " Nothing." "When you get tired of me, will you have the courage to tell me?" " Yes." " Are you sure?" " I don't know." " I do." "Besides, I think you know those things without talking about them." "The day I realize you don't want me anymore, I'll just disappear." " Disappear?" " You'll never see me again." "A telephone token, please." "Hello?" "I'd like to speak toJeanine, please." " She's already left." " What do you mean?" "Yes, she left early, around 6:00 or 6:30." " Where was she going?" " To a girlfriend's house." "To help her get ready for the party." "Who are you?" "I'm a friend of hers." "We were supposed to get together." "That silly girl." "She's so forgetful." "She's always doing things like this." "If you wait a moment, I'll give you her friend's address." " It doesn't matter." " But she left me a note." "Hold on." "Here it is." "Via Anselmi 2." "She didn't even leave a phone number." "What a scatterbrain." "She left in such a hurry." "If you go over there, you'll find her for sure." "And tell her to call me." "I don't want to worry." "All right." "Thanks." "Good night." "What a pack oflies." "But if the idiot thinks I'll fall for it, she's making a big mistake." "Does she think I'm like her grandmother?" "Poor old woman." "Hey, guys, tonight Andrea is going to get taller." " What do you mean?" " He's sprouting horns." "You should never hit a woman." "Jeanine, look at me." "Why did you do it?" "We had promised each other that tonight..." "Don't you remember?" "Why didn't you wait for me?" " I'm sorry." " But why?" "I forgot." " How is that possible?" " I don't know." "She's such a scatterbrain." "She must have forgotten." "What, then?" "It's absurd, I know." "You probably won't believe me." "In my mind, it was as if I had met you there." " Where?" " At the party." "At my friend's house, where I was supposed to go." "Why don't we relieve them of our presence and get out of here?" " What do you mean?" " We won't tell anyone." "We'll just go." "Where will we go?" " Somewhere." " Are we going to kiss?" " How can I tell you how happy I am?" " Just say you're happy." " But it's so much more." " So much more?" "I like being with you." " Where to?" " Via Anselmi 2." " The hard part will be getting there." " Why?" "What do you mean, why?" "Because of the fog." " Damn it." "Is it far?" " The end of the world." "The further you go out of town, the thicker the fog, see?" "The first man to devise a way to drive through fog will be a millionaire, believe me." "We've made so much progress." "We go all over." "We go to the moon." "But no one has discovered how to drive through fog." "Where are we?" "I think near Monterosa." "I can't see a thing." " Is it far now?" "I'm afraid so." "After Piazzale Lotto there's still a ways to go." "And it's already 11:30." "Look at this." "It's like being in the clouds." "Unbelievable." " Are we lost?" " You know what we have to do?" "We need to find the tram tracks." "Then we have to follow them, and slowly but surely, we'll get to Piazzale Lotto." "Let's not stray too far, or we'll lose the car, too." " I found them." " You found them?" " Yes." " Let me come see." " Why?" "Aren't these the tracks?" " Not necessarily." "Both the number 11 and the 38 go by here." "We have to follow the route of the number 38." "You stay here, and I'll go see where they lead." "Come on." "Court me." "But I want a courtship that lasts a few days." "That way we'd be pining for each other." "Then, the first kiss." "I'd like to give you the first kiss again." "Yes, it could be different this time." "They're the right ones." "Come on!" "Damn it all!" "What a trip, eh?" "We left in '66, and we'll get there in '67." "I'm sorry I'm late." "Since we're here, Happy New Year." "Thank you." "Happy New Year to you, too." "Happy New Year, my love." " Well, we finally made it." " What do I owe you?" "I'm just sorry that we're a little late." "It's two-twenty." " Here, keep the change." " Thank you." "Now just try to have fun and be happy." "You're right." "Good night." "Good evening." " Please go in." " Thank you." "Wait here." "Good evening." "I'm sorry for barging in like this, but due to various mishaps, I was unable to meetJeanine." "I was supposed to pick her up, but I must have been late." "You know, with the fog and all." "I called Jeanine's house, and her grandmother told me she was here." "I'll have to call my sister." "I have nothing to do with the party." "It's her party." "Excuse me." "Thank you." "Who's looking forJeanine?" "She's not here." " What do you mean?" " She didn't come here." "But her grandmother told me I'd find her here." "She called me yesterday to ask me what I was planning." "That's all." "I'm sorry." "This whole thing is more complicated than I thought." "I'm sorry if I bothered you." " It was nothing." "Good night." "Excuse me, I need a phone to call a taxi." " In the other room." " Thank you." " Here you go." " Thank you." "You're welcome." "Jeanine, come on." "You'll catch cold." "I'm sorry." "Is this 644-588?" "You have a call from Bari." " What's the matter?" " Nothing." " Is something wrong?" " No." " Do you know who's calling you?" " Yes, I think so." " But you don't know the number?" " No, I have no idea." " I'll have to call you back, then." " All right." "I'm sorry." "I couldn't get a taxi." "It's not easy at this hour." "Would you like to try again?" " Thank you." " Are you in a hurry?" " No." "Where do you have to go?" "Is it far?" " I'm just going home." " Why don't you stay here?" "No, thanks." "They're all kids like you." "There's nothing to worry about." " I don't feel like it." " Why?" "You know why." "What?" "Your sister's friend stood me up." "And you're ashamed because of that?" "I'd feel ridiculous in there, with your sister and her friends, even the ones I don't know." "I'm sure they all know it by now." "I don't want to look like a fool." "I don't think you're a fool." "Are you trying to comfort me because you saw me crying?" "No." "If you're crying, it's because you're truly hurt." "Then you should cry, and it's useless for me to try to comfort you." "But if you think you'll look like a fool, you're wrong." "It would be immature of them to think so." "I think your girlfriend is the one who looks bad." "Who is no longer my girlfriend." "Have you been together long?" "Ten days." "You've just started." "It was already serious." "Not like just any crush." " I understand." " I may be wrong." "Perhaps in a few days it'll feel even more stupid than other crushes." "Why?" "Have there been many others?" "When people ask me that question," "I always say it's the girls who fall in love with me." "But I fall in love too." "What crushes!" "I think it happens to all kids your age." "But this time was different." "Everything suddenly seemed clear to me, and she seemed to understand too." "But I was blinded by my crush." "That idiot didn't understand anything." "When we're in love, we see people the way we want them to be." "A pinhead suddenly becomes intelligent, important, the living end." " Hello?" " Your call from Bari." "Thank you." "Excuse me." "Wait." "Don't go." "We'll try the taxi again." "Thank you." " Hello?" " He's on the line." "Go ahead." "Hi, how are you?" "Great." "How about you?" "You've been calling since 10:00?" "They tried me 15 minutes ago." "They took a while to call back." "I wasn't sure, but I thought you'd probably call." "Of course I'm glad." "Why?" "Where did you think I'd be?" "You're so silly." "Yes, all night." "Of course." "All day, in fact." "I was helping my sister get ready for her party." "Yes, lots of people." "Boys, too." "They're all 15 and 16." "Good kids." " May I take your coat?" " No, thanks." "I'm leaving soon." "Are you a poor, forlorn little soldier?" "You know I do." "I care about you." "Why?" "No." "I'm all alone." "I'm alone in the room." "Don't you believe me?" "Do you want to hear me say it?" "I love you." "I love you." "Are you happy?" "Me too." "So, so happy." "Bye, my love." "Happy New Year." "I'll be waiting for you." "Bye." "There you are." "I was looking for you." "Come." "Let's try again." " Thank you." "Do you want me to try?" "I might bring you luck." " Was that your fiancé?" " Yes." " Why isn't he here?" " He can't be." "Why not?" "He's in Bari, doing his military service." "How old is he?" "Twenty-five." "It's still busy." "He got his college degree before he left, though." "Sit down." " Thank you." "Will you get married?" "It depends on a lot of things." "We'll have to see how he feels when the time comes." " What about you?" " I think so." "Then you'll get married soon." "There are things to take care of first." "Practical things." "He has to get a job, first of all." "Sometimes I think about when I'll get married." "Really?" "They're just idle thoughts." "Of course, I've never worried about the practical things." "Mostly I've wondered about the reason, the real reason for people to stay together so long." "And what did you conclude?" "I remembered something from when I was a child." "A game we used to play." "What game?" "We'd dig a hole in the ground and fill it with our favorite things:" "trading cards, colored marbles, butterflies, even live lizards." "Then we'd cover it with a glass lid." "And that was our treasure." "Once I played this game with a girl." "I remember I was all excited." "It all felt so wonderful." "And I thought " "I'm afraid I'm not making much sense." "I talk too much." "What did you think?" "I thought that having a common treasure would be a real reason to stay together for a long time." "A treasure filled with our best things." "Hello." "Taxi service." "Do you really want to leave?" "Yes." "Why don't you stay a while longer?" "Hello?" "Jodie, please put the car in the garage." "Your father's so drunk tonight, he couldn't park the car in the Colosseum." "Where are the cigarettes?" " Here." "Why are you back so soon?" "Why are we back?" "He embarrassed me so badly, I wished I was dead." "What did he do?" "We'd never been in that house." "We hardly knew these people, and no sooner do we arrive than he says they're all old." "I don't know what he expects at his age." "Precisely because I'm getting old, I want some young life around me!" "Not even the maid was young." "They were all old biddies!" "Even the dog was on his last legs." "Really cheers you up!" "After quite a few drinks, to cheer himself up, so to speak, out of the blue he says:" ""Dear ladies, since this party is a real snooze, either you give us a bed, or we'll go home and sleep in our own."" "We'd never met these people!" " Did I do the right thing?" " Of course, sir." "Look at all these wonderful kids, so cheerful and lively." "This is living!" "Just looking at them fills my heart with joy." "Come on, kids!" "Let's hear a waltz." "Would you like to come with me to put the car away?" "I'd love to." "Does the radio work?" "It's almost nicer in here." "Now that I think of it, I have something to drink." "Would you like some?" "Thanks, but I don't drink." "I never drink hard liquor." "You may not believe it, but liquor doesn't affect me." "Wine goes right to my head, but not liquor." "And now that I think of it, I haven't toasted the New Year yet." "Shall we drink together?" " We don't have any glasses." "Now you're asking for too much." "Let's pretend they're all gone." "The atomic bomb has fallen, and there are no glasses left on Earth." "All that's left is the two of us and this bottle." "Just a drop." "I want to drink to your New Year... to your future... and to your happiness." "Thank you." "Think of all the people who've met for the first time tonight." "People who didn't know each other before." "They've probably drunk a toast together by now." "They may already be in love." " Do you know how old I am?" " Fifteen." "Let's say 16." "Some people say I look older." "No." "Do you think I'm just a kid?" " Very intelligent and even " " But still a kid." "Well, yes." "Would you marry a younger man?" "Yes, if I were truly in love." "But if I were a man, I doubt I'd marry an older woman." "There are lots who do." "Careful." "You'll get drunk." "I'd like to." "No, it's bad manners, especially in the company of a lady." " I'd never bother you." " That's good to know." "I just want to feel braver." "Why?" "So I can talk." "You've been plenty brave so far." "I want to say certain things." " Bad things?" " No." "Nice things?" "I think so." "If it's nice, you can say it." "If you weren't engaged and you were my same age, would you have liked it if I had courted you tonight?" "Yes." "And would you perhaps... have fallen in love with me?" "I was imagining something." "I kissed you." "It was wonderful, even if it was only my imagination." "Would you mind if from time to time I thought of kissing you?" "I'd be lying if I said I would." "But I don't want you to do it, because it's absurd and useless." "You see - and forgive me if this is very personal - even though at times you feel like a man, you're still a boy." "And your behavior proves it." "You're a romantic boy, like all boys your age." "Like all of us were at your age." "But life isn't made just of dreams." "We can't let our imagination construct an ideal love, disconnected from reality." "That's why disappointment is so common, and sometimes so terrible." "In a few years, you'll realize that love has to be discovered and created a little at a time, one day at a time, through even the smallest of actions." "This time I really would have fallen in love, and it would have been true love." "Instead, I don't even know her name." "Jeanine." "And you?" "BUT THIS IS NOT THE END:" "MANY MORE CRUSHES TO COME!"