"Come on, Charlie." "Stop messing about." "We really have to get down to it now." "I just hope our friendship survives the day, that's all." "Oh, George, don't be so melodramatic." "Well, it's your autobiography, Charlie." "And as your editor, I have to tell you that parts of the manuscript are pretty vague, to say the least." "I mean, for instance, your mother." "Now, when did she first lose control?" "We need to know those facts." "It's hard to say." "She could be so wonderful on her good days." "Can't hear you, love!" " Come on, get on with it!" " Get off!" "Silly woman!" "Get off, you silly cow!" "Come on, Mum!" "We want our money back!" " Come on!" " What's the matter with you?" "Get off!" "Off!" "Off!" "Quick, lady, off!" "Listen, listen." "Come on." "Cut it out!" "Off!" "You're out of it." "Finished." "Ladies and gentlemen..." "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Ladies and gentlemen, retaining your special attention..." "Come on!" "Play the game!" "Play fair, lads." "Play the game!" "Come on, lads!" " Stop!" "Please, sir!" " Get off the stage!" "Get off the bloody stage!" " Isn't he cute?" " We got another lovely act for you..." " What?" " Mister, I know it." "I can do the song." "Says he knows it, let him do it!" " Let him have a go!" "Give the boy a chance, then!" "What's your name, son?" " Charles." " Charles, Charles what?" " Charles Chaplin." " Charles Chaplin." "All right, ladies and gentlemen, at very short notice and at great expense, for your special pleasure, we're delighted to present Master Charles Chaplin." "Half a mo!" "Ready?" "Your mother never sang again?" "No." "Never." "I'm warning you, Mrs. Chaplin, if I don't get me rent, I'll report you!" "Them two little mites ain't fed proper!" "If I don't get me rent today, I'll report you!" "You're two months behind!" "The rent?" "Rent?" "What on Earth is that?" "Oh, shut up, you ghastly woman!" "Go on, Mum." "Sorry it's only fish heads again, darlings." "I'll get you a plum cake one day." "When my ship comes in." "Mum?" "Someone's coming!" "Mrs. Chaplin?" "These are your children, I take it?" "Not the workhouse." "For their own good." "Stop!" "Come back here!" "Stop him!" "Stop, you little..." "Come here!" "We've got..." "Come here, you little..." "We've got him!" "Syd!" "Syd!" "Now, then." "Up you go." "Syd!" "Get off!" "Put me down!" "Let me go!" "Let go of me." "You were beaten?" "With a cane as thick as a man's thumb." "And Syd?" "Sent to a training ship." "Then to sea." "You don't tell us how long you spent in the workhouse, or how you got out." "I don't?" "That's a mistake." "I was there for a year." "Um, my mother started taking in piecework." "Sewing gloves." "So, while you were growing up, it was just the two of you." " Your father?" "What about my father?" "Well, he died during that period, didn't he?" "When you were 12." " You don't write very much about him." "I don't know very much about him." "He left just after I was born, he sang on the stage, he died of drink." "What else should I say?" "Well, this is your book we're talking about, Charlie." "It's your life." "It's up to you." "Hold your horse, gov." "Hold your horse, gov." "What's up, Rummy?" "All the booze gone down to your feet?" " Don't you give me that lip, Charlie." "Come on." "All right, clear off out of here!" "Go on, go on." "Now!" "Didn't mean no harm." "Watch you, Lil." " Charlie?" " Yeah." "Hello, love." "Hi, Charlie." "Know what?" "Your mum's gone mad again!" "Get off!" "Mum?" "Thank God you got here, Charlie!" "I got you that plum cake, just like I said." "Thanks, Mum." "Make your mark, son, if you can't sign." "The parish doctor said to bring her here." "Well, she'll be better off." " What about you, son?" " I'll be fine." " What do you mean, "fine"?" " I'll stay with me aunty." "You watch your feet, mister!" "Shoes cost money!" "Sometimes she thinks the floor is the River Jordan." " We won't get wet, Mum." " Yes, we'll do our best." "Why don't you say goodbye to her now, sonny?" " Charlie!" " Wasn't thinking, Mum." " Mum, I love you so much." " I know, I know." "If only you'd given me a cup of tea, I'd have been all right." "They'll take better care of you than I can, Mum." "One cup of tea!" "You must have wanted to get rid of me bad." "I didn't, Mum." "I really didn't." " Come along, dear." " You're a lying little runt." "You're gonna end up just like your father." "Charlie?" "Don't do this to me." "I love you, Charlie." "Don't let them take me away from you!" "No, you can't let them do this to me!" "Don't let them do this to me, Charlie!" "Don't let them take me away from you!" "Charlie!" "Why are you doing this?" "Was you scared, Syd?" "First time you met this Karno geezer?" "Every bugger's scared." "And it's Mr. Karno to the likes of you, remember." "If you wanna be in vaudeville, you don't work for him, you don't work for nobody." "Got it?" "Yes." "Now, look, if you get this job, and with what I'm bringing in, we can move Mum somewhere better." " Don't let me down." " I'll be great, Syd." "You don't have to be great." "Just shut up and be funny." " Morning, Mr. Karno." " Hello, Sydney." "Come on over." " All right." " We've got summat to eat." "Ta." "Now, then, what about this young brother of yours?" "Well, you know, he's been legit up to now, Mr. Karno." "But he sings and he dances a treat." "Sydney, Sydney." "I've got song and dance men like you coming out of me ears." "I need comics." "Yeah, well, his slapstick is fantastic." "You know, he's got the knack." "Watch him." "He can do more, you know." "More stuff." "I hope so." "Bloody hell!" " You all right, kid?" " Yes." "Need the job that bad, eh?" "Yes, sir." "You know what comedy is?" "Knowing who you are and where you come from." " And it's got to be perfection." " Yes, sir." " Can I come out now?" " You may." "Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a great evening so far, hasn't it?" "Well, I promise you, you are going to love the next act." "Everybody loves elephants." "And, right here on our stage, you will see 20 of the largest, most graceful specimens." "These are straight from the jungle." "Do you mind, sir?" "I'm trying to introduce our dancing elephants." "Do please take your seat, sir." "Sit down, sir!" "Take your feet down, sir!" "Show a little respect!" "And now, ladies and gentlemen, a very big round of applause for our next act!" "Captain Boytom and his pulchritudinous pachyderms!" "Oh, no, really, sir!" "This is too much." "Kindly remember, sir, this is a place of entertainment, not a four-ale bar or a rest home for inebriates!" "Now, sit down and behave yourself." "Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Charles Chaplin!" "Good evening." "Ladies and gentlemen, for your continuing enjoyment..." " How do, cookie?" " All right, dearie?" " Hello, Charlie." " Hello, Laurie love." " Hear your governor's in tonight." " Yeah, I saw him." "Hello, love." "Hey, Charlie, come and do me up, will you, love?" "I'm that late!" "I'm never going to make it." "So, when did it start?" "This afternoon." "He's only four." "I thought he'd cough his little heart out." "It could be the croup." "You should call a doctor." "I can't afford no doctor!" "Yankee Doodles, five minutes, please!" "Just give him a bit and say you'll pay the rest later." "Come on, girls, you'll be off." "Get a move on!" "Can't get this blasted thing to close." "Here, Charlie, my Harry was in last night." "He thought you were hysterical!" " Charlie, now, how do I look?" " Fine." "Yeah, fine." "You're a good boy, Charlie." "Saved my bacon." "Stupid..." "What are you doing in here?" "The others don't mind." "Well, I do!" "You must be new." "I'm going to complain." "I'll tell Mr. Karno." " Dirty, little good-for-nothing." " Lips." "What?" "Lips." "Oh, no." "Here." "I'm still going to complain." "Ta." "Well, thanks, I suppose." "Last again?" "Good evening, my lady." " Evening, my Lord." "Evening, Joe." "Here, give us your coat." " Thank you." " Coat, sir?" " Thank you, madam." " Thank you." "And your hat, sir." "Go!" "Look the other way." "Oi!" "Hello, hello, who's out on the town, then?" " Evening, Governor." " And in my tails, at that!" "Mrs. Karno." "Don't go spilling nothing down your front, my lad." "Cost me good money, did that suit." "Ah, Fred, you are a one." "You want to watch him, darling." "This time tomorrow, be on the high seas." "Don't say I didn't warn you." "Cor blimey." "Good evening." "I booked a table." "Name of Chaplin." "I booked it a week ago." "There's nothing here, sir." "We're fully booked." "There must be some error." "I really did book that table." "You know?" "I know." "You know, it's 'cause that geezer's seen us with Karno." "And they won't have theatricals in them fancy places." "You wait." "Someday they'll beg." "Yeah, we'll walk in there, you and me." "You in a fur, dripping jewels, me in me own whistle." " Whistle?" " Yeah, whistle and flute." "Suit." "Oh." "I see." "Will you marry me?" "No." "I mean, where would I get the jewels, anyway?" "From me, you know." "Engagement rings, wedding tiaras, rubies, diamonds, pearls, emeralds..." "Charlie, I can't marry you." "I can't think of any reason why not." "Well, I'm only 16." "Yeah, well, you know, you get older." "Why else?" "Well, we hardly know each other." "This is the first time we spent more than a couple of minutes together." "All right, well, when I get back from America, we'll spend more time together." "Why else?" "Charlie, are you serious?" "Well, were you, Charlie?" "'Cause you say you were." "I just want to make sure you got down exactly what you meant." "That's all." " It's on page 40-something." "33." "Yes." "I mean, you never even kissed her." "You think I don't know that?" "Okay, I'll just backtrack for a moment." "Um..." "After you had your mother committed to the asylum, it all gets a bit vague." " Don't you think?" " Yes, it does." "Why is that?" "Because I don't wish to remember it." "All right, fair enough." "But if you'll allow me to say so, Charlie," "I don't think, and I know this will sound very American, but you shouldn't be afraid to let the readers share your emotions or your feelings." "Know what I mean?" "You'll break me heart if you don't marry me, Hetty." "I mean, or at least say you'll wait for me." "I'll wait for you." "Charlie, how long are you going to be in America?" "Well, I don't know." "Do I?" "I mean, exactly." "You know, we'll be on tour." "Depends if they like the drunk act." "You know, if they start throwing things, I won't be gone long." "They're not gonna throw things at you, Charlie." "They're gonna think you're wonderful." "I mean, I..." "I think you're wonderful." "But you know what the funny thing is?" "You never mentioned love." "Well, I don't have to, do I?" "Number nine, pulling in from Chicago." "Let's get them steer loaded up, boys." "Nickel." "Sit down." "Sorry." "Uh..." "Have you seen that English bloke?" "There he is." "Watch this, Stanley." "I've told you." "I've seen it before." "Here look, there's a telegram come for you." "Show it again." "But you've already seen everything twice." "The one with the fire engine." "You'll love this one, Stanley." "If any of them could really act, they'd be on stage." "Charlie, look." "You must listen." "It's a telegram." "That can only mean somebody's died." "Some bloke offering me a job in California." "In the flickers." "It's not legit in the flickers." "$150 a week." "At $150 a week!" "Watch your step." "Bye, sir." "Hit him harder, Fred!" "Harder!" "Put some effort in to it, boys!" "This ain't no Sunday school picnic!" "That's right." "Good!" "Again!" "Good, Fred." "Ready when you are, Mr. Sennett." "Everyone set?" "Okay." "Begin!" " There's someone in the shot." " Keep cranking." "Still cranking!" "Cut." "Cut it!" "Jesus Christ!" "Were we good till the dummies come out?" "Excuse me, miss?" "Can you tell me where I could find Mr. Mack Sennett?" "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm afraid you just found him." "How do you do, sir." "I'm Charlie Chaplin." "Chaplin." "You sent me a telegram." "Butte, Montana." "You've hired me for a year, Mr. Sennett." "You can't be Chaplin." "The guy I hired did the best comedy drunk I ever saw." "But he was old." "I don't pay $100 a week to juveniles." "Another one, boss?" "No, we'll move on." "Mr. Sennett?" "Okay." "You might be Chaplin after all." "Oh." "It was $150, Mr. Sennett." "Plum in the middle of the shot." "See?" "You really screwed it up, didn't you, Chaplin?" "Fix it, will you, Rollie?" "We don't print till we cut it." "That was negative, kid." "Now, I know this is all new to you." "But remember something, we're all new." "This is not an ancient industry." "This whole place here is built around speed." "Start the story, start the chase." "I get bored easy, is why." "How much do you reckon, Mack?" "A couple of yards of Mabel?" "Yeah." "No, make it three." "But don't go thinking we sacrifice quality." "I never make more than two motion pictures a week." "But I'll spend up to $1, 000 on each of them if I have to." "How we doing there, Rollie?" "In a moment, boss." ""Waste not, want not. " That's my motto, son." "When Rollie's done, no one will ever know you were on that dirt road at all." "Just rewinding." "You're on the cutting room floor, Chaplin." "Not the place to be." "Got it." "Go ahead, kid." "Just forget everything you ever learned." "You're not in the theater anymore." "Yeah, that did it." "Thanks, Rollie." "If you need me, I'll be with Mabel." " Good night, sir." "Good night, boss." "Nothing quite like it." "The feeling of film." "But have I made it clear how much the movies terrified me?" "No, not really." "Why?" "Oh, well, you've got to help me get that right." "Nevertheless, I was right to be frightened." "I was dreadful at the beginning." "Sennett wished he'd never hired me." "It was all I could do to keep control." "Mario, grazie." "The truth is I'd have been a total disaster if I hadn't invented The Tramp." "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about the way you've written that." "I mean, the words just poured out." "It practically wrote itself." "Remember, I'd only been with Sennett for a month." "Oh, that magical moment as I walked through the wardrobe door." "I felt possessed." "I could feel him calling out to me." "The Tramp." "Bullshit." "And you know it." "But the truth was so boring, George." "Jesus." "You told him to get changed, remember?" "What's he putting on?" "A suit of armor?" "Chaplin!" "Chaplin!" "Get your ass on to the stage, right now!" "Forget the little limey." "Get cranking, Rollie." "Okay!" "Begin!" "Very formal, everybody." "What the hell?" "He's gone crazy." "What do I do?" "What do I do?" "Cut it." "No, wait, wait." "Hold it." "Keep it going." "Maybe he's not so crazy after all." "Photographer!" "Henry, chase him around the camera!" "Okay, put him in line." "Big reaction!" "Big reaction!" "Who is this?" "Stay down, Henry." "Stay down!" "Groom!" "Look jealous!" "Jealous!" "You can do better than that, can't you?" "Bride." "Mabel, give the tramp the eye." "That's right." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Matron, you're real hoity-toity." "Who is this bum?" "Good." "Very good!" "Groom, get mad." "He's trying to spoon your lovely bride!" "Matron, take a swing at him!" "All right!" "Domino fall!" "Domino fall!" "Into the chase!" "Into the chase!" "Bunched up!" "Keep it bunched up!" "Good!" "Good!" "Terrific!" "Look at the camera." "Henry, snap it." "Watch the birdie." "That's enough." "Cut." "God damn you, Chaplin!" "What are you trying to do to me?" "I knew I was right to hire that kid." "Listen." "Charlie, you do what I say or I'll report you to Mack." "You stand up right now, pick up this hose and when I say, "Begin," you sprinkle the road." "I could do a lot more with that hose than sprinkle the road." "I could be funny." "Two months and you think you know everything." "Look, Charlie, I'm the director." "And this is not a picture about being funny with a hose." "You're right." "But it could be." "Chaplin!" "All right, everyone." "Everyone in wardrobe." "Head back to the stage." "We need to hurry, please." "Let's keep moving." "Mabel, he's on his way." "I'm not insisting that you fire him but if you want to, that's fine with me." "I love you, honey, and I'd love to ax the little limey," " but they called me from New York." " And?" "It seems he's an asset to the company." "But now, don't you worry." "I'll scare him good." "You're a great director and I'll make damn sure he knows that." "Would you hurry, please?" "Is Mack ever waiting for you." "All right, everyone!" "We don't have all day!" "Come in!" "Charlie, come in." "Please come in." "You got to help me with Mabel." "She actually thinks she can direct." "Have a seat." "Have a seat." "Oh." "You're not mad, then?" "I've been sitting here waiting for an actor with the guts to stand up to her." "How could I be mad?" "I really like you, Charlie." "I really like you, too, Mack." "And I bet you've been talking to New York." "Let me direct the next one." "What makes you think you can do it?" " I couldn't do any worse." " Says you." "Says I, "What if nobody wants it?" "What if it stinks?" "Who'll pay?"" "I've never seen you pick up a check." "I'll pay." "This is my work." "Did you ever have to pay up?" "No." "But, boy, did I work." "I directed more than 20 films before the year was out." "Well, why on Earth didn't you send for Hetty, then?" "I did write." "Never got a reply." "Thought maybe she was away on tour." "So I asked Syd to track her down for me." "See how she felt." "Oh, my God!" "Look at him!" "This is Minnie." " Hello, Charlie." " Hello." "Nice to meet you." " You, too." "I'll take that." "Give us a hand, then, Chas, come on." "What did you pick him for?" "Oh, he's not so bad." " Yeah, our Syd's all right." " Mmm-hmm." "I don't know, Chas." "I don't see anybody staring at you." "Nice little flivver, Chas." "How long you had it?" "A couple of weeks." "How soon do I get to see Mr. Sennett?" "Got something to show you first." "Get a load of that!" "I don't believe it!" "It's happened so quick, Chas." "Twelve months ago, you were still in vaudeville." "I'm top of the bill, Syd." "Yeah?" "Well, I still haven't seen anybody staring at you." "Yeah, that's 'cause I don't look like me." " Syd?" " What?" " What news?" " Mum?" "Mum is fine." "Well, no." "Not fine but there are lots of good days." "Well, not lots of, but some." "And Hetty." "Does she know?" "The whole world knows about you, Charlie." "She gave me this for you." "Fancy Hetty writing." "Yeah." "Syd!" "Look at this." "She got married." "I know." "I'm not surprised." "A girl like Hetty." "I wish her lots of happiness." "Well, not lots." "But some." "Chin up, kid." "See, I was right." "He's the most famous man in the world." "Value for money is all we're after, Mr. Sennett." "Charlie, take this guy back to the asylum." "Look, Syd's me manager now." "He's given up his acting career to handle me full time." "Oh, woe is me!" "The theater will never be the same." "What career?" "1, 000 a week is more than I get." "Charlie's name is bigger, Mr. Sennett." "If you'll pardon me for saying so." "Charlie, Charlie, I've been so rotten to you!" "I don't know if you can forgive me." "I forced you to leave Butte, Montana." "I made you accept $150 per." "You mentioned directing and I stuffed that down your throat, too." "Now, tell me how else Uncle Mack can make it up to you!" "I want to run me own show, Mack." "I want control." "Dream on, kid." "I know this business." "And you're not that big." "First time I've seen you miss, Mack." "But, Charlie, Mack Sennett was the absolute king of comedy." "He gave you your start." "And how could you just walk out and leave him flat?" "The reasons were purely intellectual." "Money." "So, you joined up with "Bronco Billy" Anderson, a puffed-up cowboy star." "Not one of the high points of my career." "But I knew I wanted my own studio." "Even then, I was putting money aside to build one." "Excuse me, miss." "Do you always eat alone?" "Only when I'm trying to make a new acquaintance." "Actually, I'm waiting for my girlfriend." "Actually, I'm a motion picture director." "And I'm forming a new company with Bronco Billy over there." "And you're looking for a new leading lady." "Lucky me." "Obviously, you are an actress, Miss..." "Purviance." "Sorry, just a secretary." "Don't be sorry." "I'm auditioning for actresses who aren't actresses." "Well, if you're on the lookout for untalented actresses who aren't actresses, then you couldn't do better than me." "Worse than me." "Don't you want to know who I am?" "I have no interest whatsoever in who you are," "Mr. Chaplin." "Cut!" "Not great." "Uh..." "We'll do another." "Charlie, if I eat one more bean, I'm going to be sick." "You almost had it." "But this time not quite so daintily." "You're starving." "I know." "But it's hard to be hungry after 46 takes." "Of course it is." "No else one could do it this well." "We both know it." " I'll do my best." " Right." "How about dinner tonight?" "Chili con carne." "I'll kill you, Charlie." "More beans." "More beans!" "Camera!" "Action!" "That's all for today, folks." "Good to know I can always count on my nearest and dearest." "Don't come it with me, son." ""Arrival in the land of liberty"?" "Sticking in the statue like that?" "What are you playing at?" "Nobody else seemed to mind." "Answer me!" "Kicking an immigration officer up the backside." "Do you think that's funny?" "Well, for those of us with a sense of humor, very." "Charlie." "Charlie, it was supposed to be a comedy." "Now, you've turned it into a bloody political tract." "We're guests here!" "And you can't go around criticizing the way it's run." "Syd, I love this country." "I owe it everything." "That's precisely why I can criticize it." " Don't forget..." " Why I must." "...where we're from." "There's a war on, remember?" "Now, you make a million a year while British boys are dying in France." "The London papers are already after you." "Do you want the same thing to happen here?" "I registered for the draft, and they never called me." " Oh, for Christ's sake..." " It isn't as if I'm hard to find." "Look, I'm on your side, kid." "First one on board, remember?" "Be careful, Chas." "Just watch it." "That's all I'm saying." "There." "You always said you detested studio parties." "Oh!" "The worst, but not where Doug Fairbanks was concerned." "Life was fun when Doug was around." "As you know, I don't think anyone today remembers what a huge star he was." "I mean, back in the silent days, he was huge." "Men liked him, women adored him." "He was royalty." "Charles!" "Look out below!" "Sire, you are most truly welcome." "What a great party, Doug." " Isn't it fabulous?" " Wonderful." " Thank you." "May I take your coat, sir?" "First class." "Bet I hate it more than you do." "I doubt it." "Of course everything changed when" "America's sweetheart came on the scene." "You mean Mary Pickford?" "Yes, I always found her to be something of an undersized bitch, but Doug fell for her like a ton of bricks." " Hello, Charlie." " Hello, Mary." " Hi, Doug." " Hello." "Thanks for inviting me." "Mary, it's a pleasure." "Duty calls." "Excuse me." "He's a really lovely person, Charlie." "Yes." "Hungry?" "Hello, Charlie." "Her name is Mildred Harris." "An actress?" "Oh, yeah." "A child actress." "You ever hear the word "jailbait," Charlie?" "That's the definition." "I'd watch it if I was you." "I value that, Mary." "Coming from you." "When America's own sweetheart gives you advice, you'd better listen." ""Better listen?" Thanks, Charlie." "Especially since you're married and Doug's married, and the two of you are rutting with each other every afternoon" " all the time pretending you've just met." " Miss Pickford," "Mr. Chaplin, please?" "Lecture me more about morality." "Better." "Better." "Better." "Bitch." "Better." "I washed my face." "Come here." "Charlie, what is it?" "I just need some..." "You just need some lip rouge." "I've got some in my purse." "It's in the drawer, over there." "It's top right." "Look at me." "Is this what you want?" "Yeah." "Just put it on." "My God, Charlie!" "You weren't even 30." "You were the most famous man in the world." "You had your own studio, named after you." "I mean, couldn't you just enjoy?" "Mmm." "I can, now." "But I couldn't then." "It meant too much." "Morning." "Mr. Chaplin, welcome." "Welcome, Charlie!" "Take your picture, Charlie?" "Chaplin." "Cut!" "All right." "Hold it." "I think, perhaps, we should try a little less next time." "Hold it." "Hold the smoke." "The dirt, I mean." "For God's sake, somebody get me out of this thing." "Looks great, Charlie." "But I thought I better keep the boys here under control till you got out of costume." " You are an ass!" " Thank you." "That wasn't bad, Charlie." "One more?" "Check it." " How's the light, Rollie?" " I know." "It's better down at Barney's Bar." "It's better down at Barney's Bar." "Call it a day." " I don't feel funny anymore." " Come on, Charlie, let's go." "Not cheating are you, Fairbanks?" "You are a truly strange fellow, Charles." " Nonsense." " Facts indicate otherwise." "Close, but out." "And these facts show a young man, of what, 29?" "Not perhaps conventionally handsome, but certainly not repellent." "Flatteringly put." "Double fault." "Lucky me." "Yes, an unrepellant fellow of some fame and fortune, not totally without talent." "Ready?" "If only you'd put one in play." "Call this one out." "Don't have to, I'm winning." "Damn." "And who is this fellow escorting?" "Why, Mildred Harris?" "That intellectual giant of 16 who still sucks her thumb." "That's very funny." "Then why aren't you laughing?" "Perhaps because I'm marrying her." "She's really not that bad." ""Really not that bad"?" "Spoken like a man desperately in love." "You're madder even than I thought, Charles." "You sure it's yours?" "I can only hope." "There are ways of getting out of this." "You know, all it takes is money." "Where I come from, that's not an option." "Besides, I want a family and..." "I predict you're going to have one before you know it." "May I be the first to congratulate you?" "You may not!" "Good!" "You didn't suspect about Mildred?" "Not for a moment." "Well, why don't you add that?" "Put that in?" "I'll never forget the night Mary told me the truth." "We were celebrating the end of the First World War." "And I met J. Edgar Hoover for the first time." "Then I think you should make it clear that this was before he became head of the FBI." "If I may continue, Mr. Hearst." "We're too generous." "We're too open." "Now, if we don't watch out, if we don't take steps now to impose some new discipline, some decency, then we're in trouble." "Deep trouble." "I know it's not fashionable to say this." "We're celebrating." "Everyone thinks it's over." " But democracy carries a price tag." "Hear, hear." "And I just happen to think that one of the most misguided promises we ever made was inscribed on the base of the Statue of Liberty." "One that I predict will lead this country into all kinds of trouble." ""Give us your poor, your huddled masses. "" "Now, we have to stop this before it goes too far." "Our conception of America does not include, was never meant to include, this kind of scum." "You will have to forgive our famous, young friends, the artistic temperament." "But what you're saying is important, very important." "Right now we are giving sanctuary to the refuse of the world." "All kinds of left-wing intellectuals who'd like nothing more than to bring us down." "Don't you think you're overstating?" "No, sir." "I do not." "And I sometimes wonder if you people realize the responsibility you carry." "To my way of thinking, motion pictures are, potentially, the most influential form of communication ever invented." "And there's no control over them." "Your message reaches everyone, everywhere." "Message?" "Of course." "Mr. Chaplin here reaches millions who only have to see." "And when they see a mockery being made of our immigration services," "I call that a message." "Yes." "Well, as you've already said, Mr. Hoover, motion pictures are for the people." "Most of the people work for a living and they don't make much money doing it." "It gives them pleasure to see officialdom and the upper classes getting a kick up the backside." "Always has and it always will." "And if that can change things, so much the better." "Better." "He's improving." "But motion pictures have made you rich, Mr. Chaplin." "They sure have." "What about your own motion picture career, Mrs. Chaplin?" " I think you've handled it all wonderfully." " What?" "Mildred." "The pregnancy?" "Everyone knows you've been conned, Charlie." "Mildred." "Please excuse us, Mr. Hearst." "I have to be up very early." " Yes, of course." " Come along, my dear." "It's been a pleasure." "Good night." "You made an enemy there, Charlie." "Was it personal, do you think?" "Personal?" "Maybe." "But I'm sure he really did believe I was a communist." "I wasn't, of course." "I was simply a humanist." "He also believed you were a Jew." "Something I've rarely troubled to deny, mainly because of Syd." "He's half-Jewish, as you know." "Same mother, different fathers." "I suppose the false pregnancy was the beginning of the end with Mildred." "You're awful late again, Charlie." "I'd almost given up on you." "Funny." "Sometimes I feel I'm so close to getting it right, it slips away." "You've been editing that film for months." "Will be for months, more than likely." "Not like the old days." "The good times." "The good times?" "Are they over?" "Do you want me to leave?" "No." "I'll leave." "Why aren't you more bitter towards her?" "Stealing my movie wasn't her idea." "Oh!" "Poor child was so stupid, I'm not sure she could even spell the word "idea. "" "Charlie?" "Charlie, wake up!" " Charlie!" " What?" "Wake up." "Quick." " They're trying to seize the film." " Who?" "Just go and wash your face and wake up, will you?" "That sweet child bride of yours, well, her divorce lawyers have informed her it's an asset." " An asset?" " Yes." "So, I've got Rollie, the wife" " and 40 cans of film in the car." "Come on." " Okay." "Once we're over the state line, we keep you under wraps till we finish cutting the film." "Charlie, you've got your pants on back to front." "Yeah, yeah." "It's good." "It moves now." "I really do love that kid." "We're still waiting for that other shot, Syd." " Have a look in 102, Rollie." " Sure I put it on there." "Wait." "No, Chas, I've got it here." "Minnie, answer the door." "Hurry up." "Charlie." " Here's your tea, ma'am." " Thank you very much." "Thank you." "Thank you." "He's on to us, boys." "They're..." "They're here, boss." "I've dreamed of this moment for years." "This is America, Mum." "This is where your dreams come true." "Charlie's bought you a lovely house, Mum." "It's not too big." "Great view of the ocean." "You always wanted to live by the seaside, didn't you?" "Don't stop, Syd." "You're right." "I have." "I think I shall love watching the waves." "I'm sure I will." "You boys, you spoil me so." "More tea, dear?" "No." "Mum." "Mum." "The mark on my arm, Charles?" "They gave me that at the asylum." "If only I'd been able to feed you proper, I'd never have gone there." "Now, if they ever come back for me, I'll have enough food for us all." "I never could deal with my mother." "I only ever threw money at her." "Come on, Charlie, you've got to explain why you chose that particular time to go to London." "Now, I don't have to explain a damn thing, I was tired." "I had a movie opening." "I wanted to see old friends." "Straight into the water, arse over tit!" "He needed the job that bad!" "But I was worried, Charlie." "I was prepared for the absolute worst." "I've seen it happen in the profession, oh, so many times." "Mmm, I'm sure you have, Mr. Karno." "His head size." "That is the only true measure of a man." "I sent this lad to America." "Look what's come back to me." "My head never swelled, not with all my successes." "I was worried about you, though, Charlie." "And that other night at the Troc, remember?" "Well, you took a tail-suit out of the wardrobe, tried to be a gent." "Trying to impress that young dancer, Hetty." "Wasn't that her name?" "Hetty Kelly." "I could see in your eyes you fancied her." "Sad." "Yes, I know all about it, Fred." "She got married." "Sent me a lovely note." "Brought it with me." "Somewhere in my baggage." "Oh, Charlie, Charlie." "Charlie, don't you know?" "Has nobody told you?" "She's gone!" "The flu epidemic after the war carried her away." "Well, I thought someone must have told you." "Must have written." "Didn't nobody?" "Charlie!" "Hey, hey, hey." "Charlie!" "What do we do, Charlie?" "Smile." "Give me my hat." " Evening, sir." " Good evening." " Good evening." " Evening, sir." "Hey!" "That's Charlie Chaplin!" "Now, what can I get you?" " Light ale, please." "That'll be tuppence, sir." "Well, here's someone who's had a good war!" "Yeah, you didn't see him in the bleeding army." "Come to stare at the animals, Charlie?" "Oh, go and sit down, Ted, and give your mouth a rest." "I just came in for a quiet drink." "Great to see you back, Charlie." "Here, have one on me." "You have one on me." "Mr. Charlie fucking Chaplin!" "Ted." "Bleeding commie bastard!" "Go, lads, sit down." "Come, sit down." "Come." "Don't worry about him, Charlie." "He's always been a miserable old sod." "Get him off the premises." "Charlie Chaplin." "Well, bugger Mr. Charlie bleeding Chaplin." "Good luck, Charlie!" " Good luck, Charlie!" " I've seen all your pictures!" "That's him." "Charlie Chaplin!" "The back way's through there, sir." "Oh." "You're very kind." "Good old Charlie." "See him coming in here, Charlie Chaplin." "Welcome home, Charlie." "I knew then that I had no home." "So I decided to put down roots in America." "Whoa, whoa." "A man came to see me the other day." "A corset salesman?" "I sent him." "Your paunch is in need of help." "He was the FBI, old darling." "Said he knew what a loyal American I was." "He wondered if everyone else felt the same way." "I just sat there and let him work his way around to you, which he did." "He asked were you a member of the Communist Party." "I said that was an absolute impossibility." "Because I love America." "Because you're too cheap to pay the dues." "Remarkable." "Your timing in work is flawless." "In life, it's the reverse." "You're a miserable pain in the ass, Charles." "But I'm worried about you." "You worry about your family jewels, old darling." "I'm serious." "Watch out." "What am I supposed to watch?" "Charles, you're a foreigner." "You're still an outsider." "You've never understood this country." "It's a good country underneath, Doug." "No." "It's a good country on top." "Underneath, that's what starts showing when we're scared." "But you don't care about politics." "What is this?" " Why are you so worried?" " Me?" "I haven't a care in the world." "I'm the oldest action star in the business and talkies are coming." "What the hell have I got to be worried about?" "That's talkies, Charles." "Talkies!" "Talkies!" "Can you imagine The Tramp talking?" "It's the future, Charlie." "Not in my lifetime." "Talkies!" "It'll never catch on." "Talkies!" "Talkies!" "Talkies!" "Talkies!" "This is it, sir." "We've enlarged it for you." "I still can't make him out." "Have you got a positive identification?" "Oh, yes." "No doubt, sir." "It is Hawkins, sir." "The red labor leader." "Visiting him at the studios." "How can we make them realize the danger?" "I told him that once, face to face, "You can damage this country. "" "He didn't get it." "How old is this one?" "Well, sir, she's underage is all that matters." "When the baby's born, we can go after him for statutory rape." "A scandal like that would destroy him." "I appreciate your zeal, Mr. Seeley, but Chaplin and Miss Grey were married in Mexico yesterday." "If only he'd just sleep with them." "Everything would be so much easier." "Still, we must do what we can." "Lita was your second wife, okay?" "She gave you two sons, whom you adored." "This book is over 500 pages long." "Yet, you only devote five lines to her." "Why?" "I hated the bitch." "Oh, come on, she was hardly more than a child." "It can't all have been her fault, surely." "George, she was a profoundly flawed human being." "Well, we've got to deal with the problem, Charlie." "You married her." "All your life, you've bedded down with the babies." "Your readers will want to understand." "Where were you when she gave birth to those two boys less than a year apart?" "You know where I was." "I happened to be making a little film called The Gold Rush." "You're a flawed human being, Charles, just like the rest of us." "Only, you have to address it." "That's all." "I mean, why are we here?" "Why are we talking in Switzerland and not in Southern California?" "Hmm?" "It wasn't just the parlor pink business, Charlie, or the speeches or the donations that finally did you that turned you into an exile, you know what I mean?" "Nah." " You know what it was, don't you?" " What?" "Sex." "Sex." "Yes." "Sex." "It's odd, you know, but I don't think I've ever looked at a woman without measuring that possibility between us." "At the same time, I'm not all that interested." "Never during work." "I suppose it was only when I wasn't working, that I was vulnerable." "Well, why don't you write about that vulnerability?" "If you want to understand me, watch my movies." "All right, sonny boy, tell your poor little brother today's problem." "Same as yesterday and the day before that and the day before that." "And the day before that, and the day before that." "All right." "You be creative for a change!" "The Tramp buys a flower from the girl." "In order for the plot to work, she has to think he's rich." "That's all." "Except, as you're aware, the flower girl is blind." "I don't know how to make a blind girl mistake The Tramp for a millionaire." "Easy." "We'll do what everyone else is doing." "Joe!" "We'll have the actors talk." "Joseph Curb, Vitaphone." " Hello, sir." " Oh, hello, Joe." "It's not your fault, son." "You're in the middle of a family feud." "Now, you decide who's right." "The Tramp can't talk." "The minute he talks, he's dead." "Tell me I'm right." "He can't, because you're wrong." "Who the hell is gonna pay to see you, when everybody else has gone over to sound?" "Who?" "I'll tell you who." "The Japanese, for one thing, and the Russkies for another." "And anyone else who doesn't happen to speak English." "Or have you forgotten about the other nine-tenths of the globe?" "All right, I guess I'll have to show you." "Who's the most famous ballet dancer in the world?" "Pardon?" "The most famous ballet dancer in the world!" "Nijinsky." "Fine." "So let's say that he was doing Swan Lake today and we all went to see it." "And he came down to the footlights." "And the orchestra stopped." "And he said, "Hi folks, I'm Vaslav Nijinsky. "" "No, he'd have a Russian accent." ""Hi, folksies." "Call me Vaslav Nijinsky." "Sky, sky, sky." ""Oh, just call me Vas." "It doesn't matter." "It's okay by me." ""Everything is wonderful in California." ""Okay, today I'm going to jump up and down for you" ""like nothing what you've ever seen before." ""Hope you for to like me." "Bye. "" "You know what would happen when he danced?" "It would be awful." "Because the magic is gone." "Just as it would be with The Tramp." "Tell me I'm right." "I'm in the word business, Mr. Chaplin, so I have to say that you're wrong." "But I'm sure as hell glad I got a chance to meet you." "See you." " Enjoyed the dancing." "Yeah." "And the talking." "Take Mr. Curb back to his office." "Will you, Rollie?" "Rollie!" "Get them all back." "Syd, we're in business!" "How does a blind girl mistake The Tramp for a millionaire?" "When she hears the door slam on a rich man's car." "She thinks The Tramp's the owner." "Easy." "When you know how." "Charlie!" "Sydney!" "Over here!" "Throw it to Dad." "Boys!" "Boys!" "I'm taking your ball down to the cellar." "I don't see any stairs." "Mum's here." "Off you go now!" "Your mummy's here." "Ready?" "I'll see you next weekend, okay?" "Come on, off you go!" "Off you go!" "Hey, boys!" "It can't be as bad as all that, Mr. Chaplin." "Do I know you?" "And why don't I?" "I'm Paulette Levy." "Would you like a drink, Miss Levy?" "I already have one." "How about a fur coat?" "Well..." "No, seriously." "You look hungry." "Thank you." "Actress?" "If you watch the B-movies and don't blink." " Don't get any ideas, though." " You're taken, then." "No, but I'm 21." "Way too old for you." "You're very pretty, Miss Levy." "I'd better be." "I didn't get out here thanks to my Shakespeare reviews." "And may I say something?" "You'd be even prettier as a brunette." "Well, you'd be devastating if you were six inches taller." "Punch?" "Two, please." "Well, at least you can do something about your hair." "Never!" "I was born this way." "Oh, thank you." "Hello." " Nice to see you again, sir." "Evening, Mr. Chaplin." "Sorry, miss." "I'm waiting for a natural blonde." "Hi." "You look beautiful." " My usual table." " Of course, Mr. Chaplin, come right this way." " Hello, Charlie." " Hello, Charlie." "You've come a long way, Charlie." "Yes." "My own suit." "No need to book a table." "I lived in the lap of luxury." "But I was blind." "Blind?" "Yes." "That's fatal, for a storyteller." "Did I ever tell you that I sold all my stocks and shares the year before the Wall Street crash?" "That was clever." "It was deeply cruel, the Depression." "Can I have an autograph, Mr. Chaplin?" " Yes, yes, of course." " Sign mine?" "Yes." "I wish they'd wanted my money." " You know what?" " Hmm?" "I've always had that gift." "After a man makes love to me, he just goes wild from happiness." "I am happy." "Then tell me when you get sad, because I don't want to be around." "Terrible things have been happening out there since the crash." "Millions of decent Americans have been robbed of their right to work." "Machinery is replacing manpower." "And I've said nothing." "Shame on me." "Shame on me." "You're right, Charlie, you're right." "About three seconds too short." "Okay, Johnny!" "We'll do a two-bar repeat of the xylophone." "Yes?" "Sure." "Honey?" "Oh, sorry, darling." "I'm taking the boys out on the boat today." "Why don't you come on out for some air?" "Hmm." "Tomorrow, darling." "Definitely tomorrow." "All right." "Put that in straight away." " What do you want to do?" " Take it out of the minor key." "Fine." "Let me hear it." "No." "I'll tell you why." "Charlie, you were supposed to meet us at the fight." "I'm sorry, sweetheart." "Who was fighting?" "Mostly Mary and Doug, as it turned out." " You're wonderful, Miss Goddard." " Thanks!" "Well, that didn't work either, did it?" "Well, the Fairbanks are getting a divorce." "And Mussolini has invaded Abyssinia." "You really need a break, Charlie." "We should take a trip." "That's a good idea." "What?" "What's a good idea?" "Around the world, I thought." "I'm not going to make it." "Charlie!" "Did you lose your other wives this way?" "I think so." "But you'd have to ask them." "Paulette." "She was wonderful." "Her personality, you mean?" "No." "You mean in bed?" "No." "Well, that was good." "No, she's the only one who didn't take me for a fortune." "Here, let me help you." "Come on." "Okay?" "I know you so well, Charlie." "I even know what you're thinking." "You're thinking of Doug, aren't you?" "I was the only one who knew." "Don't say Daddy doesn't look after you." " Paulette!" " Doug?" "Mr. Chaplin." "Always a pleasure." " How are you?" "Oh!" " Fine." "How do you look even prettier?" "Nobody's fine and everybody needs a drink." "Paulette, another champagne or a scotch?" "Ooh, Scotch, please." " Is he..." " Yes." "Seriously?" " His heart." " Shit." "Say." "Don't laugh." "I'm going to test for Scarlett." "Why should I laugh?" "Because it's a joke." "Everybody's testing for Scarlett." "Mmm-hmm." "Anyway, I hear Katie Hepburn has it locked away." "So they say." "I have not worked since Modern Times." "No." "Neither have I." "No ideas." "I'm desperate." "Catch you later." "I can manage a double if I have to." "Should you?" "Say, are you two still married or what?" "I find it all very confusing." "Hmm!" "Hmm." "It's not at all confusing." "See, when everyone thought that we were having an affair, we were married." "Now everyone realizes we're married, we're getting divorced." "Man's a wizard with women, no question about it." "Who's that man?" "Sounds German." " Looks German." "Probably one of those directors, there's a lot of them over here now." "Maybe he's got a job for me." "Just like Plato, Adolf Hitler is defining the ideal state which will become a model for backward systems." "Do you know him personally?" "I do have that good fortune, yes." "And you have my word." "Our ambitions are only to defend our historical frontiers to the east." "That's paramount." "Told you." "Paramount." "It's not funny, Doug." "He merely wants to improve the situation for the German people." "Create jobs..." " How can they let these fascist thugs..." " Charlie to cut out the profit speculator." "The Jew." "Mr. Chaplin!" "I am a great admirer of yours." "I'm sorry." "I prefer not to shake hands with Nazis." "What have you got against us, Mr. Chaplin?" "What have you got against everybody else?" "You must forgive Mr. Chaplin." " He's a Jew." " Ah, so!" "I'm afraid I don't have that honor." "Shame on you!" "Ah!" "The former Miss Levy." "Shall we, my dear?" " Good night." " God bless you, Charlie." " Uh, I'll call you." " Yes." "Please do." " All right." "Good night." " Night." "A lovely international incident you caused in there!" "Hey, let's go on." "Not tonight, old darling." "A bit tired." "It's funny, you know, you look a lot like him." "Adolf, I mean." "You know, with your mustache on." "I think he stole your act!" "Good night, old boy." "Night!" "Sweet prince." "So much ended around then." "I'd been there 25 years." "Everybody else had gone over to sound." "I didn't know how much longer I could hold out against it." "Mario." "Of course, UA was over for me." "United Artists?" "You know, you haven't written anything about that." "How it began, I mean." "Oh, I'll put something in." "It was a great idea, I think." "Creative people really had their say for the first time." " You like milk?" " No milk." "I remember some distributor saying, "The lunatics have taken over the asylum. "" " That became quite a famous remark." " Yeah." "Thank you." "But UA did mean a lot to Doug." "When my mother died, it was sad." "Yes, but..." "She was old, she'd had her run." "It was different with Doug." "Even today, I still miss him." "Oh, yes, tell me, when did you actually start work on The Great Dictator?" " '38." " '38?" "And everyone thought you were crazy then." "When the Second World War broke out, you became a genius overnight." "Well, not to those who thought I was a communist." "Big smile!" "I know you." "You bastard." "Syd?" "Is that you?" "Hmm." "What's the matter, Syd?" "For 10 years, you've been on at me to make me a talkie." "Now I'm making a talkie." "Yeah, but not this." "I know this man." "We're born the same year, four days apart." "He's like me, capable of anything." "Nobody wants to see a film about Adolf fucking Hitler!" "I do!" "You're missing the point." "In the end, it's not about Hitler, it's about The Tramp." " The little Jewish barber taking his place." " Charlie, what's happening in Europe is not our problem." "90% of Americans say we should stay out of the war." "That's nine out of 10!" "It's not your business." "You're a comic." "Yes, Syd." "And you are a Jew." "Nevertheless," "I've got to give it a try." "Otherwise, what have I been doing all these years?" "I know talking will be the end of The Tramp." "That's for sure." "But at least he'll go out saying something I believe in." "All right." "We'll see how it goes." "Roll camera!" "The Great Dictator, scene Y-11-A, take one." "I'm sorry, but I'm not an emperor." "I don't want to rule or conquer anyone." "I should like to help everyone, if possible." "Jew, Gentile, black man, white." "We all want to help one another." "Human beings are like that." "We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery." "Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed." "Do not despair." "The hate of men will pass, and dictators die." "He's not talking about Germany, you know?" "He is talking about America." "That is..." "Turn that goddamn thing down!" "Soldiers, don't give yourselves to brutes." "That is what we need to make people understand." "...tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel." "To drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle and use you as cannon fodder." "Mr. Seeley, you're looking a little pale." "Maybe it's time you took a trip to California." "Comrades!" "Let us all fight for a new world." "Commie bastard!" "Soldiers!" "In the name of democracy, let us unite!" " So what brings you to California?" " Oh, I was sent by my firm." "We're planning on expanding our interest in the movie business." "Although I really don't know that much about it." "Quite a full house today, sir." "Congratulations, Charlie, on the London opening." "Oh, thank you." " Tea is on its way, sir." " Good." "Lovely afternoon, Charlie, thank you." "Sorry, Charlie." "Women drop handkerchiefs." "I guess men drop other things." " Charlie?" " Yes." "Charlie, upper regional domes immensely expansive." "What?" "Upper regional domes, immensely expansive." "That's how you describe Joan Barry in your book." "She was very..." "She was well-endowed, is that what you mean?" "Yes." "You honestly expect your readers to believe that it wasn't just sex?" "Well, I didn't have to put a girl under contract to sleep with her." "I didn't exactly throw money around." "I spent thousands on her." "I wrote a screenplay for her." "I don't care what the readers think." "Joan definitely had talent." "She was intelligent." "She was pretty." "She was willing to work hard." "And the screen test proved that she was very photogenic." "But she became erratic." "For whatever reason, she began to have some kind of breakdown." "She took to driving up to my house, drunk, in the middle of the night." "She was arrested, ran up debts, made scenes." "In the end, as I've explained, I refused to have anything further to do with her." "How could you have been such a fool, Charlie?" "You took up with a crazy girl with umpteen different identities, was a promiscuous, vengeful liar." "And for, perhaps, the only time in your life, you didn't propose marriage." "Hoover had kept tabs on you for 20 years." "And he still had no idea how to nail you until you played right into his hands by shutting Joan out." "You're improving, Frank." "Can't you find someone else to play with?" "Apparently not." "Not anymore." " Who's that?" " Ah, the debutante." "You're doing a favor for her agent." "Oh, not another one that wants to act." "It's endless." "Endless!" "This is the last time." "They all think it's so easy, you know." "I bet when she was 10, she wanted to be a fireman." "Tell you what, you have half an hour, then get me out of it." " Some appointment." " Right." " Someone important." " Leave it to me." "Mr. Chaplin?" "I'm Oona O'Neill." "Hi." "My agent did say 3:00." "But if I'm interrupting your game, I can always come back..." "No!" "No." "I was waiting for you." "I always have tea at 4:00." " So how long have you been in Hollywood?" " Just this summer." "My agent got me a screen test at Fox." "They gonna put you under contract?" "I don't know." "You tell me." "Yes, if you want me to." "Uh, Charlie!" "Charlie, excuse me." "It's nearly time for your appointment." "Appointment?" "Appointment." "Who's it with, Frank?" "Uh, Fred." "Fred." "Not Astaire again." " That's right." " Ginger, too?" "Could be." "Well, I'm sick of them." "Tell them I've got nothing more to teach them." "They're gonna have to try and make it on their own." "Right." "I'm sorry." "I asked him to interrupt in case I was..." "I mean, in case you were..." "I've never been to England." "You're a good dancer." "George, I've just written this for the end." "For the last 20 years I have known what happiness means." "I wish I could write more about this." "But it involves love." "And perfect love is the most beautiful of all frustrations." "Because it is more than one can express." "Excuse me." " ..." "Excuse me, sir." " Yes, Henry." " I'm sorry for the intrusion, sir." " No, it's all right." "Come in." "Come in." "What is it, Henry?" "Well, I'm not quite sure, sir." "I just took a call from Miss Barry, sir." "She wanted me to tell you, sir, that she's pregnant, sir." "I never..." "Um..." "Before I started..." "Where's Mr. Charles?" "With Harry." "Oh, he may be on the stage by now." "Mr. Charles, he down there?" "Charlie." "Okay." "She'll drop the paternity suit." "I just talked to her lawyers, she'll settle." " No." " What?" "Well, just listen." "She'll take $150,000." "And that's nothing, not compared to a trial." "She says you did it at Christmas when she came to your house." " Morning, Mary." " Good morning." "Kid, I've been making deals for you all our lives." "I've never made one this good." "It was over long before Christmas." "It can't be my child." "Just get it out of the way." "I can't do that." "I've got Oona to think of now." "Syd, I've got to prove my innocence." "Look, I'm all for proving your innocence, kid." "But how?" "Go back to them." "I beg you." "Get them to agree to a blood test." "So that night when you went to his house, did you and Mr. Chaplin have sexual relations?" "Doesn't it look like it?" "Never mind what it looks like." "Did you have sexual relations with Mr. Chaplin?" "She just said she did." "Why else would she agree to the blood tests?" "The next morning he just called a cab." "Paid me off." "He wanted somebody younger, classier." "Didn't he?" "Hello." "Yes." "Yes." "Yes, thank you." "It's all over." "The blood test prove it's not my baby." "Right, let's just forget all this new-fangled rubbish about blood tests." "Let's put it out of our minds." "His Honor has ruled them inadmissible." "What is important now is the financial future of this poor child." "It is her future the state of California is here to protect." "It makes me mad to watch the way this fellow tries to put it over us simpletons." "This great star of stage and screen, this alien, who has enjoyed the hospitality of our country for nearly 30 years without ever once, ever once, deigning to apply for American citizenship." "But what good has all this money done Chaplin?" "Wasting his substance in debauching girls." "What good has it done the country?" "This is the kind of stuff that makes for communism." "Now my client, on the other hand, is, alas, no more moral than Chaplin." "Yes." "Yes." "They're both equally guilty." "Only, Chaplin is old enough to be her father." "Prowling around with girls that age." "Members of the jury, use your God-given common sense, and just look at this man." "This cheap, Cockney cad." "This little tramp." "And then take a very good look at innocent little Carol Ann." "I defy you not to see the resemblance." "Gentlemen and ladies, wives and mothers around the country are watching you." "Watching to see you stop Chaplin in his tracks." "You'll sleep well the night you give this baby a name." "The night you show this lecher that the law means him as well as the bums on skid row." "It's a star-studded evening here." "Here is Charlie Chaplin with his lovely wife, Oona." "There goes Mrs. Chaplin, looking gorgeous this evening on the arm of her famous husband..." "Are you a communist, Mr. Chaplin?" " Are you a fellow traveler?" " Mr. Chaplin..." "Are you going to attend the McCarthy hearing?" " Gentlemen." "Gentlemen, please." " Mr. Chaplin..." "Mr. Chaplin has repeatedly said he'll go whenever they call him." "And even..." "Even if there were only one communist in the state department, even if there were only one communist in the state department, that would still be one communist too many." "Mr. Lawson, are you a member of the Communist Party or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?" "It's unfortunate and tragic that I have to teach this committee" " the basic principles of Americanism." " That's not the question." "That's not the question." "The question is, have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?" "I'm framing my answer in the only way in which any American citizen can frame his answer to a question which absolutely invades his..." "Then you refuse to answer that question, is that correct?" "I have told you that I will offer my beliefs..." " I have written Americanism..." " Stand away from the stand!" " ... for many years and I shall continue..." " Stand away from the stand!" "...to fight for the Bill of Rights which you are seeking to destroy." "Officer, take this man away from the stand." "I'd love to get away for a while, darling." "Maybe after this bundle arrives we could take the children and go." "Sir." "Sir." "We've just got word." "Chaplin's off to London on vacation." "KK." " Mummy, Mummy." "Where did you leave Mr. Chaplin?" " We left him back there at the stern." " Mummy." "It's all right, darling." "Charlie." "Charlie." "What?" "What is it, sweetheart?" "Is it Syd?" "No." "What is it?" "They've thrown you out." "Thrown me out?" "Thrown me out of what?" "Of America." "I'm so sorry." " I can't go back?" " No." "Charlie." "There are nights it's still hard being in exile." "I'm sure they wouldn't refuse you a visa now, Charles." "Have you never thought of going back?" " Why don't we all go inside?" "I have everything I need right here." " But it's cold." "I like the cold." " I have to go anyway." "Telephone." "Charlie, I heard the first three rings, thank you." "No, George, in answer to your question." "I'm used to invitations." "Ah, yes." "Well, it's been a long day, Charlie." "Yes." "You must be very tired." "Come on, George, finish it off." "The question mark." "What's it all about?" "You mean that?" "Yes." "Well, it was a personal matter, really." "Nothing relevant." "Tell me." "All right." "The madness." "I just wondered, how much did it affect you?" "What makes you think it did?" " Well, your mother was certified insane..." " Yes." "...and your grandmother was certified insane as well, and..." "Yes." "That's not what dogged me, George." "It wasn't that." "It was..." "It was the knowledge that if you did what I did for a living, if you were a clown, and you had a passion to tell a particular kind of story," "something beyond," "but you only have the one chance to get it right." "And I never did." "One never does." "But you know that." "That's not the problem." "It's when you feel you're getting really close but you can't make it the rest of the way." "You're not good enough." "You're not complete enough." "And despite all your fantasies, you're second-rate." "Charlie." "Human." "That's very hard." "Why didn't you add that?" "It's not important, really." "End of the day, you're not judged by what you didn't do, but by what you did." "And I didn't change things, I just..." "He just cheered people up." "Not bad, that." "Charlie?" "Charlie?" "Charlie, dear." "I dreamed I was answering questions for George." "Silly." "Charlie, that was California calling again." "You really do have to give them an answer." "No." "They took 20 years to make up their mind," " I can take another afternoon." " Enough." "Enough!" "What if they still hate me?" "Live from Los Angeles, the 44th annual Academy Awards presentation." "Suppose they start throwing things." "Now that would be a story." "You never know on the stage." "Hmm, I can see the headlines now." ""Amazing Incident At Academy Awards." ""Chaplin Disappears Under Avalanche Of Oscars. "" "Mr. Walter Matthau." "Oh, look, darling, it's Walter." "Does that make you happy?" " No." " Crabby." "Oh, I should never have let them show those film clips." "I never..." "People won't like them." "They'll think they're old." "Well, they are old." "Well over 50 years, some of them." "You know the worst thing about age, you can't defend yourself." "When I was young, handsome, had my power, if they came after me, I'd make a movie and make them laugh and I'd make them cry." "Now I'm at their mercy." " Come in." " Go away." "We're ready for you, Mr. Chaplin." "This is a historic milestone in the life of the Academy." "Behave yourself." "I would like to present the President of the Academy, Mr. Daniel Taradash." "Now remember, the President of the Academy, Mr. Daniel Taradash." " Taradash?" " Yes." "Sounds like a spice." "The inscription reads, "To Charles Chaplin," ""for the incalculable effect he has had in making motion pictures" ""the art form of this century." ""Humor heightens our sense of survival and preserves our sanity. "" "These are the words of Charlie Chaplin." "The abiding elements of Chaplin's artistic conscience as actor, writer, director, and to quote W.C. Fields, "The greatest ballet dancer that ever lived. "" "A few years ago, Mr. Chaplin said," ""My only enemy is time. "" "We respectfully disagree." "I'm going to leave you here, darling." "My white dress, remember?" "They mustn't see anyone till the clips are over." "...some unfathomable future on some faraway star." "Time is Charlie Chaplin's dearest and eternal friend." "And here is the proof." "Watch, remember, rejoice." "I love you, Charlie."