"So here's what you missed on Glee:" "Kurt and Rachel made the final cut for NYADA, which means the biggest audition of their lives is coming up if they want their big time Broadway dreams to come true." "Puck has big-time pool-cleaning business dreams, but first he has to graduate." "Roz Washington's been trying to steal the Cheerios!" "from Sue the same way" "Beiste stole Cooter the football recruiter and got married after a romantic taco dinner." "And that's what you missed on Glee." "RACHEL:" "Deep in space there are giant interstellar clouds." "Most of them just float through the universe, content to be balls of gas and space dust, but there are special ones." "Maybe they collide with a supernova or are just made up of something extra amazing, but one day they just get too big for the nebulas they're in and with the sheer gravitational force of their awesomeness, they become a star." "I am that amazing cloud." "My whole life has led to this moment." "My NYADA audition is this week." "All of the singing and dancing lessons and hours spent until late into the night practicing my Oscar acceptance speech into a mirror are just about to come home to find purchase." "My fiancé couldn't be more excited or supportive." "Happy." "Sad." "Surprised." "Thoughtful." "Presidential." "Hmm." "RACHEL:" "I have some simple rules when I'm getting ready for a big performance." "First, no milk-- makes you too phlegmy." "Second, no doorknobs-- they spread infections." "So do kisses." "So what if I have some superstitions, too?" "I never step on cracks and sometimes I walk bacards, and everyone I see becomes a metaphor for the things that could stop me." "I just give each one my gold star death stare." "None of them stand a chance." "You are a star, Rachel Berry, and in just two days from now you are going to shine so bright on that stage that the sun is going to cry with envy." "You know when your time is, and it's now." "(bell ringing)" "Hey, listen, man..." "I overheard you talking to that sophomore girl yesterday." "Whoa, back off, dude, you've got a fiancée." "Plus, I called dibs on all the chicks whose boobs aren't done growing yet." "Not that, okay?" "You guys were talking about graduation." "Yeah, I might not graduate, but it's okay 'cause gowns are for ladies and tassels are for strippers." "Dude, hear me out." "I know you got your pool-cleaning business and everything, but even if college isn't your thing, it's still important to graduate." "You gotta think ahead." "Who knows, maybe one day you're gonna want to clean the White House pool or something." "I appreciate the brovention, but I just told her that so I can get a sympathy pants massage." "I'll be getting my diploma right next you." "I'm doing good in auto, metal and wood shop." "So, all I gotta do is pass Mrs. Doosenberry's European Geography test and I can graduate." "Yeah, but how are you going to do that?" "I got a plan." "Okay, class, what can you tell me about the Danube River?" "Mr. Puckerman?" "It's wet." "Real wet." "I may not be too good at world geography, but I'm real good at female geography." "I'm gonna give Doosenberry a little P-U-C-K so I don't get an "F."" "(bell ringing) Hmm." "You guys, I just went to my first student council meeting, and I found out that we have another prom this year." "So, as president, I need to come up with a theme." "And I'm thinking, if we do alien abductions, we could set up cornfields and probing booths." "Great." "Yeah." "All right." "SANTANA:" "Aw, hell." "Looks like Mr. Beiste went all Chris Brown on Mrs. Beiste" "What happened, Coach, Cooter put the smack-down on you 'cause you wouldn't let him be on top?" "(laughter) What did you just say?" "Nothing." "It was a joke." "So, men hitting women is funny to you?" "Oh, please." "We obviously don't think" "Beiste was hit by anybody." "I mean, look at her, she's a wall." "Let me tell you something." "I'm Coach Roz Washington." "I'm an Olympic Champion, and I do not suffer fools!" "Especially fools who think domestic violence is funny." "I want your names." "Shannon!" "Write these names down as placeholders." "Hatrack." "Asian Horror Movie." "Li'l Oprah." "Rojo Caliente." "Salsa Caliente." "You're on my list now, girls." "You just watch what happens next." "(bell ringing) Black Sue, it's no secret I despise you." "I spent the weekend sending your photo to ivory poachers who could make an absolute fortune selling your enormous white teeth on the black market." "Yet it sounds like you and I finally have something to agree on." "Look, I understand kids making jokes about things they find uncomfortable, like how there's a cheerleading coach at their school who's old as dirt and still trying to have a baby, who they know is gonna come out looking weird with rabies" "and wings, and it's gonna fly out of your head box and straight back into hell." "But domestic violence?" "That's nothing to joke about." "I couldn't agree with you more." "WILL:" "Hey!" "Mind if we join you ladies?" "What are you guys talking about?" "Your shiner." "William, your teenage minions have taken this opportunity to start making jokes about violence against women." "Are you serious?" "BEISTE:" "Wait a second." "They think I got hit?" "I was at the gym hitting the speedbag, but my timing was off, and it came back and clocked me." "I can't believe any of my kids would make a joke about something that serious." "Well, you better believe it, whatever your name is." "I heard 'em with my own two ears." "Yeah, you've got a problem on your hands, William." "But not to worry." "John Goodman," "Black Sue and Original Recipe Sue are going to take care of it." "♪ Let your mind start a journey ♪" "♪ Through a strange new world ♪" "♪ Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before ♪" "♪ Let your soul take you where you long to be ♪" "♪ Let your dream begin ♪" "♪ Let your darker side give in ♪" "♪ To the power of the music ♪" "♪ That I write ♪" "♪ Help me make the music of the night. ♪" "Fantastic!" "I loved it." "I don't know." "My entire future is riding on this audition." "It has to be perfect." "What if I sequin my cape?" "Or if sing it in German?" "Or if I did it in the nude?" "What?" "I'm serious." "I've always been ahead of the curve, and my audition needs to show that." "And right now it-it's too safe, it's too predictable, it's boring" " I'm bored!" "I think you're overthinking it." "Excuse me, my foot fall asleep." "I can't feel it at all." "Can I go walk it off?" "Yeah, sure, just don't go far." "And thanks." "Okay." "I'm starting from scratch." "I need something fresh." "I need something edgy, something completely unpredictable." "Or maybe I just need more candles." "Oh, God, no." "No more candles." "(bell ringing)" "Noah, why are you closing the door?" "So the chemistry doesn't get out." "I brought you some illegal fireworks I got in Tennessee to remind you of us-- all explosive and taboo." "There is no "us," Mr. Puckerman." "Eleanor-- can I call you that?" "No." "I've wanted you since ninth grade ever since I saw you at that Canned Food Drive for depressed Hawaiians." "Displaced Haitians." "Mmm..." "Your brain turns me on." "(moaning)" "Oh..." "Oh, oh, oh!" "I..." "I might be recently divorced and excruciatily lonely, but I can't be bought." "I not buying you!" "Just give me a D-minus, and I'll tickle your thighs." "All right, we're done here, Mr. Puckerman." "Look, lady, if you don't pass me, I'll flunk out." "Oh, well, maybe, oh, just maybe, you could crack open a book and study like everyone else." "I can't!" "I'm too stupid." "You're not stupid, Noah." "You're just lazy." "Screw you." "And screw McKinley." "I'm out of here!" "Forever!" "(bell ringing)" "(strumming opening chords to Alice Cooper's "School's Out")" "♪ Well, we've got no choice ♪" "♪ All the girls and boys ♪" "♪ Makin' all that noise ♪" "♪ 'Cause they found new toys ♪" "♪ Well, we can't salute ya ♪" "♪ Can't find a flag ♪" "♪ If that don't suit ya, that's a drag ♪" "♪ School's out for summer ♪" "♪ School's out forever ♪" "♪ Ah!" "♪" "♪ School's been blown to pieces ♪" "♪ No more pencils ♪" "♪ No more books ♪" "♪ No more teacher's dirty looks ♪" "♪ Out for summer ♪" "♪ Out till fall ♪" "♪ We might not go back at all ♪" "♪ School's out forever ♪" "♪ School's out for summer ♪" "♪ School's out with fever ♪" "♪ School's out completely. ♪" "(bell ringing)" "Now I realize this room is America's number one destination for cheap, sappy moralizing, but your insensitive behavior is about to subject you to a whole new level of preachiness." "Is this about the comment that I made in the hallway earlier?" "You bet your perfectly round ass it is." "Coach Sylvester, I hardly think you're one to preach on what we can and cannot joke about." "Yeah." "You make fun of us all the time." "Sandbags, I admit I can be a bit abrasive." "And yes, I've fantasized about slapping each and every one of you square across the face with a sturdy, wet fish." "But that doesn't mean you deserve it." "No one deserves to get hit." "Coach Sylvester, we already know that." "Yeah, and none of our guys would ever do anything like that." "And if they did, we'd just get the hell out." "I don't think the gravity of this is landing with you girls." "I think that not one of you understand what violence in a home really feels like." "When I was growing up, my aunt married a man that was nice to everybody." "Used to bring us presents when he came to visit and never had an unkind word to say to anybody." "But at home, he had a temper." "And that man started beating her." "She'd lie, she'd make a joke out of it." "She said she'd done this or that wrong." "She'd tell my momma he was a good man and she had it coming." "It took my aunt five years and a trip to ICU to stop making excuses for that man and get a divorce." "Ladies, the American songbook is chock-full of songs making light of men hitting women." "And since the only way to get anything into your thick, dopey heads is to force you to sing about it, for this week's assignment," "I want you to turn those songs into songs of empowerment that say, "You lay a hand on me, it's over."" "(school bell ringing)" "Blaine, I need some help." "Tina wants me to slick my hair back for prom, and I've never used gel, so I have no idea what I'm doing." "Biggest tip I can give you:" "never brush after you gel." "Disaster." "Second tip: feel free to use a little sweat or a little splash of water to reactivate the gel or give it a complete new look." "See that?" "It's a whole new 'do, my friend." "Hey." "I hear you guys talking a lot, but is anybody gonna mention what's missing, what's different here?" "(snaps fingers)" "You finally shook the last five pounds." "Dude, congrats!" "(murmuring, cheering) Big deal, big deal." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" "It's Puck." "He's not here." "Dropped completely off the grid." "Anybody notice that?" "Doesn't even log on to Call of Duty tourneys anymore." "Oh, no." "I'm going into full-blown prayer mode." "Look, we need to go all Black Hawk Down here." "All he needs to pass is that one test." "Either we all graduate together or what was the point of all this?" "No man gets left behind." "We will get him to pass." "By any means necessary." "Right!" "(school bell ringing)" "Excuse me." "Um, this is insanity." "Wait, why are you talking to me?" "I thought you were saving your voice for your audition." "No, I vowed not to speak with you unless William and Kate got pregnant," "Liza passed or unless one of us was in grave danger." "Tell me Liza's okay." "She's fine, but you're not." "Okay, I just talked to Blaine and he told me about "Not The Boy Next Door."" "You cannot sing that for your NYADA your audition." "I need to be excited about this, and this is the first time" "I've been inspired in this whole process." "No, no, it's too controversial, okay?" "You can't wear Peter Allen's gold lamé pants." "It was too controversial in 1962." "(sighs)" "Look, the play, and that song, won Hugh Jackman the Tony." "I know." "And NYADA is a Broadway school." "Yes, but you haven't rehearsed it enough, okay?" "I'm not singing "Don't Rain on my Parade" because it's my go-to song and because it's impossible for me not to cry when I sing it, but because I have been belting out that song since I was two years old." "All right, this is, this is the biggest, biggest moment of our lives here." "We cannot be taking risks." "Isn't that the exact moment to take a risk?" "Kurt, can I be honest with you?" "I think this is self-sabotage." "All right, you're scared you're not going to get in, so you're using something to blame just in case this all doesn't work out." "Do you really think I'm doing that?" "I think you think you're not good enough." "But you are good enough." "Okay, you don't have to go and do some big, flamboyant number, all right?" ""Music of the Night" is your "Don't Rain on My Parade."" "I'm torn." "Uh, I have been practicing Phantom for the last three months." "Yes!" "And-and I believe in you, and I believe that song." "So much that I will be your Christine." "You will?" "I will." "Okay, let's do it!" ""Music of the Night" it is." "Good!" "All right, good." "Tina won't mind being recast." "No, she won't, so..." "Oh, that's great!" "Okay." "Okay." "NYADA's not gonna know what hit them." "Uh-uh." "Trust me." "Okay." "And now, the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango."" "♪ Pop ♪ ♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh-uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz ♪" "♪ Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz ♪" "♪ Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz ♪" "♪ He had it coming, he had it coming ♪" "♪ He only had himself to blame ♪" "♪ If you'd have been there ♪" "♪ If you'd have seen it ♪" "♪ I betcha you would have done the same ♪" "You know how people have these little habits that get you down?" "Like Bernie." "Bernie-- he liked to chew gum." "No, not chew, pop." "So I came home this one day, and I'm really irritated, and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy." "And there's Bernie lying on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing-- no, not chewing, popping!" "So, I said to him, I said," ""You pop that gum one more time..."" "(sighs)" "And he did." "So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots." "Into his head." "♪ He had it coming ♪ ♪ Pop, Six, Squish ♪" "♪ He had it coming ♪ ♪ Uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz ♪" "♪ He took a flower in its prime ♪" "♪ And then he used it ♪ ♪ Pop ♪" "♪ And he abused it ♪ ♪ Six ♪" "♪ It was a murder, but not a crime ♪" "♪ Squish, Uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz ♪" "Now, I'm standing in the kitchen, carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business." "In storms my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage." ""You been doing the milkman," he says." "He was crazy, and he kept on screaming," ""You been doing the milkman."" "And then he ran into my knife." "He ran into my knife ten times." "♪ The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪" "♪ The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪" "♪ They had it coming ♪ ♪ They had it coming ♪" "♪ They had it coming ♪ ♪ They had it coming ♪" "♪ They had it coming all along ♪" "♪ 'Cause if they used us ♪ ♪ 'Cause if they used us ♪" "♪ And they abused us ♪ ♪ And they abused us ♪" "♪ How could you tell us that we were wrong?" "♪" "♪ Could you tell us that we were wrong?" "♪" "What happened to Beiste?" "Uh, did we do something wrong?" "Well, you completely butchered one of my all-time favorite" "Kander and Ebb tunes, while completely missing the point of absolutely everything." "You girls are cray-cray." "You were supposed to pick a song that gave women the self-esteem and courage to get the hell out of an abusive situation." "But, oh, no." "You pick a song about crazy women in their panties killing their men for chewing gum." "How is that supposed to help?" "(school bell ringing)" "How dare you stand up and leave?" "We all wanted out of that room." "I'm sorry." "I was sitting there listening to that song, and I couldn't handle it." "I was too embarrassed." "Why would you be embarrassed?" "Those girls were the ones stinking up that auditorium." "He hit me." "I didn't get hurt boxing at the gym." "Cooter hit me." "He'd been bugging me all weekend to do the dishes, and I-I promised him I would, but I forgot." "And then when he came home from work," "I could tell he had had a few drinks." "And he started yelling, and I tried to calm him down, and then he hit me." "But as soon as it happened," "I mean, right away, he was so sorry." "And he started crying and begging me to forgive him." "Sweetheart, you're as big as a house." "Why didn't you just turn around and kick his ass?" "I'm not a violent person." "Shannon, you have to get out of that house right now." "Can't." "I can't leave him." "Why the hell not?" "(sobbing softly)" "Because I don't think anybody else is ever going to love me." "Shannon, listen." "You're gonna stay with me tonight, okay?" "If you don't have a change of clothes," "I have a tent you can wear." "Looking good, Noah." "Hey, the kids are at the neighbors." "You want to go for a quickie in the pool house?" "Not this time, Mrs. Collins." "I'm gonna keep it legit 'cause today's my last day." "Final cleaning's on the house-- a good-bye gift." "Last day?" "Where are you going?" "Isn't graduation coming up?" "I'm done with school." "Don't need it." "I'm gonna blow town and get a head start to the West Coast." "Huh." "Too bad." "I'll miss those abs." "Dad?" "All right, everyone, listen carefully." "Puck's scheduled to arrive at the Schneider's pool at 2:00 p.m., which means he should be there at 3:30." "Sam, you're the driver, so stay in the car." "Well, can I play with the radio?" "Rory, you're on lookout here." "Who am I looking out for?" "I mean, besides Puck?" "Blaine, Mike and myself will triangulate a very carefully planned attack on Puck here, here and here." "Is that a bear I'm hiding behind?" "No, no, it's a bush." "Looks like a bear." "It's not a bear." "Maybe a shrub." "What's the difference between a shrub and a bush?" "What do I do?" "Oh, that's the best part." "You're going to be the bait." "So, when Puck comes in the gate, you just roll your wheelchair into the pool, and all of a sudden, we..." "Are you all right, dude?" "Yeah, look like you saw a ghost, man." "What's up?" "Just saw my dad." "I haven't seen him in five years." "I brought us a little refresher." "The last six-pack from my micro-brewery" "Puckerman's Special Sauce." "I'm good." "Oh, come on." "A dad likes to share a beer with his son." "Be fine." "All right." "So what are you doing here?" "I hate to do this, but, uh, I'm kind of at the end of my rope." "I need to borrow some money." "From me?" "For what?" "Mm-hmm." "Rent." "Hardest thing for a man to do... is ask for help." "What did you do?" "I gave it to him." "500 bucks." "That's most of my seed money for L.A." "I don't get it." "Why?" "'Cause I knew if I gave it to him," "I'd never have to see him again." "You know he dropped out of high school, too?" "Just kept seeing myself sitting where he was sitting, across from Beth-- no dignity, no future-- begging her for rent money." "I cannot let that happen to me." "I have to graduate." "And to do that," "I have to pass this damn European Geography test." "Will you help me?" "PUCK:" "Please?" "Never leave a man behind." "Thanks, bro." "Want some Throat Coat?" "Oh." "Just to avoid last-minute irritation." "Hit me." "Okay." "So, um, Kurt, you know how they say that knowledge is power?" "Mm-hmm." "Okay, well, I got some last-minute intel about our NYADA adjudicator, and... well, I don't want to make you any more nervous than you already are." "Okay, now you have to tell me." "It's Carmen Tibideaux." "My God." "What?" "Carmen Tibideaux?" "She's one of NYADA's most famous-- and infamous-- alums." "She's played Broadway." "She's performed the most demanding roles in the greatest opera houses in the world." "I think I'm going to throw up." "Look, my-my dads have been trolling the NYADA chat rooms, and they said that she's been appointed dean of Vocal Performance and Song Interpretation, and now she's going across the country to pick out her own inaugural class." "All right." "KURT:" "Oh, Rachel, you know the stories of her wrath as well as I do." "Once, "La Tibideaux" stopped a performance of Medea at the Met because someone glanced at their watch while she was doing one of her "I'm killing my babies" arias." "She destroyed him." "Do you think she's going to have any qualms about cutting us off if we displease her?" "Kurt Hummel." "You're going to be amazing." "All right, I-I believe in you, and no one can sing this song better than you can." "Even Michael Crawford?" "(patting on back)" "Go... go get 'em." "Hello." "I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'll be performing "Music of the Night"" "from the seminal Phantom of the Opera by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber." "(sighs)" "Which I bet you hear a lot of." "That song." "That, "The Impossible Dream" from La Mancha and "Being Alive" from Company, yes." "It's a safe and standard choice." "Which is why I've decided to change things up a bit." "Here, in the 11th hour," "I've decided to go in a different direction." "Something that's a little more out there, but much more me." ""Not the Boy Next Door,"" "from the Peter Allen bio-musical, The Boy from Oz." "Ladies?" "(imitating Australian accent):" "I had my swans on standby." "(Peter Allen's "Not the Boy Next Door" begins)" "♪ Coming home used to feel so good ♪" "♪ I'm a stranger now in my neighborhood ♪" "♪ I've seen the world at a faster pace ♪" "♪ And I'm coming now from a different place ♪" "♪ Though I may look the same way to you ♪" "♪ Underneath there is somebody new ♪" "♪ I am not the boy next door ♪" "♪ I don't belong like I did before ♪" "♪ Nothing ever seems like it used to be ♪" "♪ You can have your dreams, but you can't have me ♪" "♪ Oh, I can't come back there anymore ♪" "♪ 'Cause I am not the boy next door ♪" "♪ You've been saving those souvenirs ♪" "♪ Faded photographs from our foolish years ♪" "♪ We made plans, but they're wearing thin ♪" "♪ And they don't work out 'cause I don't fit in ♪" "♪ And those memories will just weigh you down ♪" "♪ 'Cause I got no place to keep 'em uptown ♪" "♪ I am not the boy next door ♪" "♪ I don't belong like I did before ♪" "♪ Nothing ever seems like it used to be ♪" "♪ You can have your dreams, but you can't have me ♪" "♪ Oh, I can't go back there anymore ♪" "♪ 'Cause I am not the boy next door ♪" "♪ Huh!" "♪" "♪ I'm not sorry for just being me ♪" "♪ But if you look past the past, you can see ♪" "♪ Nothing ever seems like it used to be ♪" "♪ You can have your dreams, oh, but you can't have me ♪" "♪ I can't go back there anymore ♪" "♪ 'Cause I am not ♪ ♪ You are not ♪" "♪ I am not ♪ ♪ You are not ♪" "♪ I am not ♪" "♪ The boy next door. ♪" "You know, Hugh Jackman won a Tony Award for playing Peter Allen." "Hugh trained with me the summer I was in residence at the Sydney Opera House, and I'm certain that he would have been... as impressed with what you did with that song as I am." "A bold choice, young man." "I congratulate you for taking such a risk today." "Thank you." "(excited mumbling)" "Millions of moments have led up to this moment." "All you have to do is just be yourself because you're a star." "FINN:" "I'll second that." "Thank you." "You nervous?" "Oddly enough, not at all." "No, I'm..." "I'm ready." "CARMEN (over speaker):" "Rachel Berry." "Hi." "I'm Rachel Berry, and I'll be singing "Don't Rain on My Parade"" "from my favorite musical, Funny Girl." "(Barbra Streisand's "Don't Rain on My Parade" begins)" "♪ Don't tell me not to live ♪" "♪ Just sit and putter ♪" "♪ Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter ♪" "♪ Don't bring around a cloud ♪" "♪ To rain on my parade ♪" "♪ Don't tell me not to fly ♪" "♪ I've simply got to ♪" "♪ Life's candy and the sun's a... ♪" "(music stops)" "I'm so sorry." "I'm so, so, so sorry." "Please, let me just start over one more time." "I'm sorry." "Please just start over again one more time." "(song begins)" "♪ Don't tell me not to live ♪" "♪ Just sit and putter ♪" "♪ Life's candy and the sky's a... ♪" "Oh, God." "This isn't happening." "(stammers)" "I'm..." "I'm so sorry." "I don't know..." "I know this song backwards." "I know this... (sighs) Okay." "Please, let me just do it one more time." "I can start it over one more time." "No." "Excuse me?" "You get eight bars." "I gave you 16." "Do you know what happens when you forget the words on Broadway?" "They give the job to your understudy." "I'm very sorry, but this audition is over." "No, please..." "please, please, please." "You have to believe me." "You just have to... please just give me one more chance, please." "Please." "Please." "What's the biggest city in Ireland?" "Blarneycock." "Dude, he's pointing right at it." "Come on." "My brain is fried." "It's freaking 3:00 in the morning." "That's awesome-- we've still got nine hours to cram before your test." "(Puck groaning)" "How's Rachel?" "Uh... upset." "Devastated." "Wants to be alone." "Her dads are doing something called sitting shivah." "I mean..." "I just don't get it." "It was a total choke." "Okay. (sighs)" "So, let's hop on back to sunny Spain." "Hey, look, here's a fun fact:" "Spain is considered a mostly mountainous country, interspersed with picturesque plateaus and arid valleys." "That's fascinating." "No, it's not." "Who the hell cares?" "Not even Einstein uses this crap." "So wipe it from your memory tomorrow, after your test." "FINN:" "Now, for the bonus round." "Which region of Spain receives the most rainfall?" "I don't know." "You do." "Just think about it, dude." "The rain in Spain falls mainly..." "Whatever." "In the flatlands." "The plains." "What was that?" "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain." "Again." "♪ The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain ♪" "♪ I think he's got it ♪" "♪ I think he's got it ♪" "♪ The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain ♪" "♪ By George, he's got it ♪" "♪ By George, he's got it ♪" "♪ Now, once again, where does it rain?" "♪" "♪ On the plain, on the plain ♪" "♪ And where's that soggy plain?" "♪" "♪ In Spain ♪" "♪ In Spain ♪" "♪ The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain ♪" "Bravo!" "♪ The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain ♪" "♪ The rain in Spain ♪" "♪ In Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire ♪" "♪ Hurricanes hardly happen ♪" "♪ How kind of you to let me come ♪" "♪ Now, once again, where does it rain?" "♪" "♪ On the plain, on the plain ♪" "♪ And where's that blasted plain?" "♪" "♪ In Spain, in Spain ♪" "♪ The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain ♪" "♪ The rain in Spain ♪" "♪ The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain. ♪" "All right." "Ow!" "Okay." "Moving on." "What rhymes with "preindustrial European deforestation"?" "(sighs) Anybody?" "Shannon, I'm very upset with you." "You promised to stay the night at my house." "I made up my sofa bed for you." "I ruined my tent fashioning a neck hole in it." "And what am I supposed to do with those nine whole chickens in my fridge?" "I'm sorry, Sue." "I forgot to call you." "But I'm okay." "I spent all last night moving in with my sister, Denise." "Your sister's name is Denise Beiste?" "Well, Coach, I'm glad to hear that you're okay." "And I hope that whatever bridge" "Denise Beiste lives under is nice and cozy." "Beiste, I really admire what you're doing." "I know how difficult it must be." "Not as difficult as what I'm about to do." "(school bell ringing)" "BEISTE:" "Girls, I have a confession to make." "It's a really hard thing to talk about, but I feel like I owe it to you." "I didn't get hit by a punching bag." "I got hit by my husband." "Are you serious?" "Did he break his hand?" "I'm sorry I lied to you about it." "But nobody tells you what you're supposed to do when something like this happens." "I was shocked," "I was... ashamed." "So I made excuses for myself, to make it okay." "And I heard you girls say that you thought your boyfriends would never do anything to you like that." "And a week ago, I would've said exactly the same thing." "And I was wrong." "But Cooter always seemed like such a nice guy." "Yeah, I always just thought he was a big, smiley doofus." "He is." "Most of the time." "But nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors." "Are you considering pressing charges?" "Yeah." "And more than that, I got out of there, and I moved in with my sister, and that feels really good." "But you girls?" "You not only opened my eyes to this... you maybe even saved my life." "Thank you." "(sniffs)" "Eyes on your paper, Puckerman." "PUCK:" "Focus." "You can do this." "Okay." ""What area of the Spanish countryside receives the highest annual rainfall?"" "Holy crap!" "I know that one." "♪ In the plain, in the plain. ♪" "Question two:" ""Name three counties in England where violent storms rarely occur."" "This is the easiest test ever!" "Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire!" "Puck-gellen is on a roll." "Question three:" ""What was the capital of the Austria-Hungarian empire?" "Wait, that's not in the song." "(school bell ringing)" "How do you think you did?" "My best." "Did you pass?" "Does your head hurt?" "'Cause sometimes after I take a test, my head hurts." "It's usually a good sign." "You know, it's weird, but..." "I think I did." "Thanks to you guys." "So thank you." "All of you." "You know, it's hard growing up without a dad, because you don't have any dude role models, except NFL players and video game characters." "But I lucked out because instead of one dad," "I got a whole gang of them." "You guys showed me what it means to be a man." "Not just last night, but for four years." "Even you, Blaine." "Thanks?" "Let's hug it out." "Aw, yeah." "Bring it in, guys." "On hand." "All the time." "You girls wanted to see me?" "We wanted the chance to say that we're sorry, and we had no idea." "No idea that this was really happening to someone we care so much about." "And we're really proud of you for sticking up for yourself and getting out." "And we owe you a song." "♪ Regrets collect like old friends ♪" "♪ Here to relive ♪" "♪ Your darkest moments ♪" "♪ I can see no way ♪" "♪ I can see no way ♪" "♪ And all of the ghouls ♪" "♪ Come out to play ♪" "♪ Every demon wants his pound of flesh ♪" "♪ But I like to keep ♪" "♪ Some things to myself ♪" "♪ I like to keep my issues drawn ♪" "♪ It's always darkest ♪" "♪ Before the dawn ♪" "♪ And I've been a fool ♪" "♪ And I've been blind ♪" "♪ I can never leave the past behind ♪" "♪ I can see no way ♪" "♪ I can see no way ♪" "♪ I'm always dragging ♪" "♪ That horse around ♪" "♪ Our love is pastured ♪" "♪ Such a mournful sound ♪" "♪ Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse ♪" "♪ In the ground ♪" "♪ 'Cause I like to keep ♪" "♪ My issues drawn ♪" "♪ It's always darkest ♪" "♪ Before the dawn ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Ooh whoa ♪" "♪ And it's hard to dance ♪" "♪ With a devil on your back ♪" "♪ So shake him off ♪" "♪ Ooh whoa ♪" "♪ And it's hard to dance ♪" "♪ With a devil on your back ♪" "♪ And given half a chance ♪" "♪ Would I take any of it back?" "♪" "♪ It's a fine romance ♪" "♪ But it's left me so undone ♪" "♪ It's always darkest ♪" "♪ Before the dawn ♪" "♪ Looking for heaven ♪" "♪ Found the devil in me ♪" "♪ Looking for heaven ♪" "♪ Found the devil in me ♪" "♪ But what the hell?" "♪" "♪ I'm gonna let it happen ♪" "♪ To me... yeah ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Ooh whoa ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Shake it out ♪ ♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Ooh whoa ♪" "♪ And it's hard to dance ♪" "♪ With a devil on your back ♪" "♪ So shake him off ♪ ♪ Ooh whoa ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, whoa-oh-oh ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪ ♪ Shake it out ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Shake...♪ ♪ Ooh whoa ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Shake it out, shake it out ♪" "♪ Ooh whoa ♪" "♪ Ooh whoa... ♪" "Thank you, Shannon." "For... giving me a second chance." "Thank you." "Thank you, girls." "(sniffs)" "You're beautiful." "Get over here." "(girls giggle)" "(school bell ringing)" "Can I just say, for the record, that Carmen Tibideaux is a total bitch." "I mean, she should've let you start over." "She did." "I mean, a second time." "You killed the beginning of that song." "I-I wouldn't be surprised if you got accepted just from that." "Kurt, I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but... we both know what happened." "All right?" "I had my chance, and I choked." "I choked on a song that I've been singing my entire life." "And now it's over, and there's no one to blame but me." "You were amazing, though." "You were." "I mean, you went with your gut, and-and you were better than you've ever been." "You and Finn are gonna be great in New York together." "Well, you're coming, too." "Of course you're coming." "Even if it doesn't work out with NYADA, you'll find..." "Could we just not talk about this anymore, please?" "It's just..." "I haven't..." "I haven't slept in like two days, and I just am tired really tired of talking about it, okay?" "I love you, Rachel Berry." "I love you, too." "(Kelly Clarkson's "Cry" begins)" "♪ If anyone asks ♪" "♪ I'll tell them we both just moved on ♪" "♪ When people all stare ♪" "♪ I'll pretend that I ♪" "♪ Don't hear them talk ♪" "♪ Whenever I see you ♪" "♪ I'll swallow my pride ♪" "♪ And bite my tongue ♪" "♪ Pretend I'm okay with it all ♪" "♪ Act like there's nothing wrong ♪" "♪ Is it over yet?" "♪" "♪ Can I open my eyes?" "♪" "♪ Is this as hard as it gets?" "♪" "♪ Is this what it feels like to really ♪" "♪ Cry?" "♪" "♪ Cry ♪" "♪ I'm talking in circles ♪" "♪ I'm lying, they know it ♪" "♪ Why won't this just ♪" "♪ All go away?" "♪" "♪ Is it over yet?" "♪" "♪ Can I open my eyes?" "♪" "♪ Is this as hard as it gets?" "♪" "♪ Is this what it feels like to really ♪" "♪ Cry?" "♪" "♪ Cry ♪" "♪ Cry... ♪" "(breathing hard)"