"ANNOUNCER:" "Previously on Animaniacs:" "Yakko, you can't go this alone." "It's insane, I tell ya." "Insane." "Usually, that's to my advantage." "What do you got, Wakko?" "I don't know, but it's big, and it's headed straight for us." "Oh, my..." "[EXPLOSION]" "I" " I just" " I don't think I love you anymore." "I don't know if I ever loved you." "[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Oh, Otto, I'm so disappointed." "It's got into the blood." "Don't worry, kid." "I'm gonna hit a ball right out of the park just for you." "Gee, that'd be great, Babe." "Oh, my..." "[EXPLOSION]" "OTTO:" "I think we are losing altitude." "Scratchy, look out!" "[BOTH SCREAM]" "I hereby sentence you to life in prison." "[GASPS]" "Oh, my..." "[EXPLOSION]" "[***]" "[GULPS]" "You're out of order, do you hear?" "Out of order!" "No." "You're out of order." "You're all out of order!" "Don't you see?" "Don't you get it?" "[ALL SCREAMING]" "I can't believe it." "DOT:" "Our water tower." "Don't worry, sibs." "We'll be back." "We'll rebuild." "And we'll make a brand-new water tower that's" " That's" "Exactly like the old one?" "Right." "[***]" "ALL:" "* It's time for Animaniacs *" "* And we're zany to the max *" "* So just sit back and relax *" "* You'll laugh Till you collapse *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "BOTH:" "* Come join The Warner brothers *" "* And the Warner sister, Dot *" "ALL:" "* Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot *" "* They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught *" "* But we break loose And then vamoose *" "* And now you know the plot *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *" "* Wakko packs away the snacks *" "* We pay tons of income tax *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Meet Ralph And Dr.Scratchansniff *" "* Say hi to Hello, Nurse *" "* Goodfeathers flock together *" "* Slappy whacks 'em With her purse *" "* Buttons chases Mindy *" "* While Rita sings a verse *" "* The writers flipped We have no script *" "* Why bother to rehearse?" "*" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* We have pay-or-play Contracts *" "* We're zany to the max *" "* There's bologna In our slacks *" "* We're Animan-y *" "* Totally insane-y *" "* No pain, no gain-y *" "* Animaniacs *" "* Those are the facts *" "[***]" "[VIOLIN PLAYING SERENE CLASSICAL MUSIC]" "[PLAYING HOEDOWN MUSIC]" "Yee-haw!" "[STAMMERS] Yes, sir." "Well, "yee-haw" and all that, Holmes, but shouldn't we be getting back to the case now?" "Mariachiis sure to strike again soon." "Yes." "My old nemesis, Professor Mariachi." "This latest spate of petty robberies has me mystified." "Bowling pins, automobile batteries, railroad ties, the odd pair of ladies' knickers." "W-w-what do you think he's up to?" "I'm not certain." "I require some time to formulate a theory." "Watson, no interruptions." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "You got any used dental floss?" "What?" "No!" "What was I saying?" "No interruptions." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "How about a yam shaped like Elvis's dad, Vernon?" "HOLMES:" "Absolutely not." "Huh?" "Prince Albert in a can?" "Princess Di in a leotard?" "Prince Charles in a tabloid?" "W-w-who are you?" "What are you doing here?" "Allow me to deduce, Watson." "The size, the coloring, the age..." "Hm." "Are you not the Warner brothers and their sister Dot?" "I'm gonna flip all the cards." "You are correct." "Big whoop." "He heard the theme song." "[BELCHES]" "I also deduce the little one just had a pepperoni pizza." "[WAKKO HICCUPS] [SNIFFS]" "With onions." "Furthermore, you're on some kind of little quest." "Correct again." "But not just some little quest." "We're on the greatest scavenger hunt of all time." "Guess what the winner gets." "I don't guess, I deduce." "Well, I de Big Bad Wolf." "But enough of that." "If we win, we get to do a walk-on on Baywatch." "[***]" "ALL:" "Hello, nurses on the beach." "Look, I'm very busy." "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you out." "Why, Sherlock, you big old bony-nosed man." "I'd love to go out." "Or are you just trying to take advantage of an old-fashioned American girl?" "You intercontinental cavalier, you." "It's okay with us, as long as the chubby guy chaperones." "I'm afraid I'm not making myself clear." "Wait." "Allow me to deduce." "You're Sherlock Holmes, the great de-tec-a-tive." "You're highly annoyed at our very presence, and you're about to give us lots of money to leave." "No, I'm tossing you out on your keisters." "What's a keister?" "Oh, that's a keister." "Perhaps, to catch Mariachi," "I'll need to don one of my many disguises." "ALL:" "Disguise!" "Keister!" "I've learned a new word." "That's right, Wakko." "And thanks to you, so has half of America." "Now, then, Watson, back to the case." "Oh, yes, right-o." "Mr. Holmes, Dr. Watson, luncheon is ready." "O-oh, super." "I could eat a horse." "Sorry, the horse couldn't make it." "How 'bout three hams?" "Since you're on a lunch break, can't you help us with our scavenger hunt?" "Hm?" "Look, I've told you already." "I haven't the time." "We don't need the time, just this stuff." "A happy postal worker." "Edible fruitcake." "A funny episode of Bonkers." "Seven swans a-swimming." "Six geese a-laying." "ALL:" "* Five golden rings *" "* Four calling birds Three French hens *" "* Two turtle doves *" "* And a partridge In a pear tree *" "Watson!" "WAKKO:" "Ah-ah-ah." "Someone's under the mistletoe." "[***]" "You're incorrigible." "No, he's in London." "[DRUMROLL]" "Heh-heh-heh." "I got a million more just like it." "Unfortunately." "Stop it." "Stop it." "That will do." "Look, I promise I'll help you with your scavenger hunt." "ALL:" "Hooray!" "After I finish my work." "ALL:" "Aw..." "Now, just sit down and find something to occupy yourselves." "ALL:" "Okay." "[DRYER WHIRRING] [BALLS BOUNCING]" "Quiet!" "[RHYTHMIC TWANGING]" "HOLMES:" "Watson." "O-oh, sorry, Holmes." "Old habits and all that, you know." "[***]" "All right." "All right, you win." "I'll help you." "I'll help you with your scavenger hunt." "What else do you need?" "Let's see, um, so far we've got the Maltese Falcon, a lock of Yul Brynner's hair, Burt Ward's career" "Can't find it." "Bowling pins, batteries, the Lusitania, Marlon Brando..." "[GRUNTING]" "He's in there, really." "Railroad ties and the odd pair of ladies' knickers." "Hello." "Some of those items, those are the very things that Mariachihas been stealing." "Do you know what this means?" "Uh, he's a thief?" "Good answer, yeah." "Good." "Good answer, yeah." "No, it means that he's on the very same scavenger hunt you are." "What's the last item on the list?" "We'll catch him in the act." "A fat chubby sidekick with a curly moustache." "Ah!" "I have one of those." "Watson." "Watson?" "[GRUNTING] Help!" "Holmes!" "Holmes, it's Mariachi!" "So, Holmes, we meet again." "I do hope you'll forgive me for borrowing Watson." "I shall return him right after we wing off to Hollywood for a very special episode of Baywatch." "Check your local listings." "This always happens." "Every time we get our hands on a fat chubby sidekick, whammo, he's kidnapped by a Scottish guy, with a huge sombrero, in a flying contraption." "But he's not getting away with it." "That's our Baywatch episode." "Come on, sibs." "[***]" "[GIGGLING] Oh, I won." "Yes, I won, I won." "Ha-ha-ha-ha!" "Correction, Mariachi, [GASPS] you've lost." "But how did you get me in here when was I out there?" "Elementary, my dear Watson." "Some things are simply worth the Hasselhoff." "[***]" "[SIGHS]" "ALL:" "* She's a cranky old critter She's bitter, we warn you *" "* She lives in a tree house In Burbank, California *" "* Along with her nephew He says, "Spew" *" "* He's cheerful Then his aunt starts to rant *" "* She gives him an earful *" "* She's grumpy He's happy *" "* It's generation gappy *" "* Take a whirl With the squirrels *" "* Skippy and Slappy *" "Ah, put a sock in it." "* That's my Aunt Slappy * ALL: * Aunt Slappy *" "[***]" "[CHUCKLES]" "SKIPPY:" "Come on, Aunt Slappy." "Get him." "Blow him up." "Quick." "Happy birthday, pal." "Gee, thanks." "Yay!" "You got him!" "You made him blow up good." "What can I say?" "I'm glad to be a role model." "Those old cartoons were great, Aunt Slappy." "[DOORBELL RINGS]" "MAN:" "Telegram for Slappy Squirrel." "I love how easy it was for you to get out of his traps." "I love how easy it was for me to get out of this chair." "Oy." "SKIPPY:" "And I love the way you dupe him and confuse him and bamboozle him and" " And" "And I love the way you used to clobber him and splat him and blow him up until" ""Walter J. Wolf has passed away."" "Yeah." "Until he was a goner!" ""His funeral will be Tuesday at noon."" "[GULPS]" "You mean, he's really dead?" "And you!" "You did all those terrible things to him." "Hey." "Whatever happened to, "Go get him, Aunt Slappy"?" "That's before I knew you were a murderer." "Suddenly, my biggest fan has turned into Perry Mason over here." "Perry Mason?" "Join the '90s." "What do you want, a modern reference?" "I'm old." "Kids." "[***]" "Oof!" "Hey." "You wanna kill me?" "You'd better get it right or there's gonna be a real funeral." "Duh, I don't get it, boss." "How come if you're dead you ain't all peaceful-like?" "I'm not dead, you trout brain." "Duh, if you're not dead, then how can you be talking to me?" "Now, listen, you ninny." "I'm only pretending to be dead so that I can clobber that Slappy Squirrel." "Just like in Pardon My Stiff, 1942, directed by Spats Melnik." "Yeah, only this time the whole ceremony's gonna be rigged with booby traps." "[BOTH LAUGHING]" "[BOTH COUGHING]" "Oh, boy." "Duh, I wanna be dead." "Not a bad idea." "It might raise your IQ." "This is Mary Hartless at Woodland Hedge Memorial Park to bring you the exciting news of another fabulous celebrity funeral for beloved curmudgeon, Walter Wolf." "Now, he was a trouper." "Nobody could rig a booby trap as good as him." "And he would have been an even bigger star if it wasn't for that Slappy Squirrel." "ALL:" "Slappy Squirrel?" "[ALL SPIT]" "[ALL COUGHING]" "[CAR HORN HONKS]" "Look." "There she is now." "[ALL MUTTERING]" "Gee, there sure is a big turnout for Walter Wolf's funeral." "Like I always say, give people what they want." "Aunt Slappy, you promised not to say anything mean about him." "Yeah, I promised, but it won't be easy." "I'm delivering the eulogy." "Get a good seat and go easy on the popcorn." "Your Aunt Slappy is about to win a Daytime Emmy." "[ORGAN PLAYING SOFTLY]" "[GRUNTING]" "Duh, should I let in the mourners, Walter?" "Sure." "You remember what to do?" "Duh, I light this firecracker and give it to Slappy, and then say" "Oh, yeah." ""Please hold this candle for the departed."" "Good." "Now, places, everybody." "[LAUGHING]" "This is gonna be some funeral." "Yeah, hers." "[BOTH LAUGHING]" "[BOTH COUGHING]" "If this wasn't so sad, it'd be pathetic." "Oh, well." "On with the backfiring booby-trap bit." "Oh, Walter." "[CRYING]" "Walter!" "Walter!" "Walter!" "[CRYING]" "Walter!" "Walter!" "Walter!" "Walter!" "[BONES CRUNCHING]" "That stuff will look great in the promos." "We'd like you to stand right there to deliver the eulogy." "Hm." "I don't think so." "Nah." "The light's better over here." "But you have to stand here." "Tell you what." "I'll stand here and you stand there." "No." "You stand there." "I stand here?" "You stand there." "Where?" "Here!" "Uh-oh." "Wasn't he great?" "Let's give him a big hand." "Well, maybe that opening act wasn't such a good idea." "On with the eulogy." "[GULPS]" "[CLEARS THROAT]" "We're all here to honor the late Walter Wolf." "I believe it was Don Rickles who said it best..." "No." "...so I won't bother." "Walter is gone, but he wouldn't want us to cry, no." "He'd want us to laugh." "He'd want us to laugh all the laughs he never got during his career." "Heh-heh-heh." "[DRUMROLL]" "There's one." "Talk about stone faces." "I'd get more laughs on Easter Island." "I could go on and on about Walter, except I've got a mahjong game at 3." "But I guess what I'll remember best about him are his booby traps." "Like this one." "What a piece of work." "I'm sure he'd like to be buried with it." "[GASPS]" "[ALARM RINGING]" "When I heard of his demise, it was such a relief, really." "Finally, that's over." "But all seriousness aside, who could forget a man who created items like this?" "I'm sure he'd like to be buried with it." "Of course, Walter had a comic style." "This one will get her, that Slappy Squirrel." "He did everything in threes." "Three mallets, three anvils, three bombs." "A nice one, eh?" "ALL:" "I'm sure he'd like to be buried with it." "Like a bunch of trained monkeys." "[ALARM RINGING]" "Now, that's what I call en-bombing." "[DRUMROLL]" "[LAUGHING]" "Agh!" "Stop." "Please." "No more." "Agh!" "Hey!" "He isn't dead, after all." "Not yet, that old faker." "Wait." "Stop!" "I can explain." "[CROWD SHOUTING ANGRILY]" "But, Aunt Slappy, how'd you know he wasn't dead?" "Skippy, how many times do I have to tell you?" "There's no dying in the world of cartoons." "Well, Bonkers." "Duh, oh, yeah, please hold this candle for the departed." "Sure." "Happy birthday, pal." "Gee, thanks." "Now that's comedy." "[***]" "* U.N. me, we had a bag of fun *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* That United Nations there *" "* Drives away a fella's care *" "* One hundred eighty-three Countries meet *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* New York off 42nd Street *" "* See foreign states With a grudge *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* United Nations tries to fix *" "* Wars, famine and oil slicks *" "* Boutros Boutros-Ghali, gee *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* Leads the General Assembly *" "* The gift shop will take Traveler's checks *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* German tourists Were not rare *" "* Buying T-shirts and flatware *" "* Ate pastry from Liberia *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* At the U.N. cafeteria *" "ALL:" "* Took a tour with some Dutch *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* We had a guide from Japan *" "* Who had a decent Pension plan *" "* Saw costly artwork From Brazil *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* On which my soda I did spill *" "* U.N. me, we had a bag of fun *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* Saw flags on shiny poles *" "* From lands with lofty goals *" "* We'll beat our swords Into liverwurst *" "* Down by the East Riverside *" "* But no one wants To be the first *" "* But then I guess It could be worse *" "WAKKO:" "* We could still Sing one more verse *" "ALL:" "* U.N. me *" "[***]" "ALL:" "Buenas noches!"