"Previously on "In Treatment"..." "You really don't understand why I said yes to him?" "It's because you said no to me." "Perhaps I'm an alternative to everything that Andrew represents: dependency, anxiety." "But I am not a realistic option for you, Laura." "Just tell me..." "I " " I think you owe it to me." "Do you want me?" "No." "S01E11:" "Laura, Week Three" "I'm really sorry." "You wouldn't believe what just happened to me." "I almost didn't make it here at all." "God!" "I've gotta calm down first." " Can I get some water, please?" " Sure." "What, are you gonna punish me for being late?" "Sorry." "I don't know how that got there." "It's yours?" "Yeah." "I thought someone left it here." "So, what happened?" "Why are you 25 minutes late?" "Right." "Well, I took a cab here." "We're flying down Madison, right, about... 200 feet away from me is this, this dog." "She, he, it tries to cross the street." "And you know, it's impossible to cross that stretch at Madison, impossible." "And of course, it gets run over." "Well, not run over, hit." "The car in front of us hit him, so ran into the middle of the street." "And then another car hit him." "It was awful." "The cars were playing ping-pong with him." "It was like ping, ping." "He didn't stand a chance." "The cab I was in almost hit him, but the driver stopped short." "But then... the car on the left hit him really hard." "I thought he was dead, but he wasn't." "I looked in the rear window and I saw him limping across the street." "So I yelled at the driver to please stop, but he couldn't because the traffic there would have..." "caused a massive pileup." "But I couldn't not stop, you know, I mean, if the dog was alive, I had to get him to a vet." "I mean, didn't I?" "You would've pulled over." "Or maybe you wouldn't have given a damn." "I don't think everybody would have pulled over." "But you would've pulled over, Paul." "I'm sure you would have." "You wouldn't have pulled over?" "I wouldn't have pulled over." "No?" "I would've assumed the dog was dead, and there wasn't anything I could really do for him." "Sure, I'd be sad, just like you were, but " " I wouldn't have pulled over." "I don't believe you." "Well, anyway, I couldn't not stop, okay?" "So I... yelled at the driver to make a U-turn so I could get to the other side of the street, but shit, there's no U-turns." "And this idiot cabbie is trying to... persuade me that wounded animals prefer to die alone, just because he can't make a fucking U-turn." "So I yelled at him, "Please, can you stop?" "I need to figure out what to do." "I need to do something." And then I..." "I looked at his dashboard and it's five to, and it's, you know, another 25 minutes to your office." "It was..." "It was incredibly frustrating." "Sounds like it was." "Imagine, stop for a dog that may die anyway and be very late." "But you would've been late anyway." "What?" "Well, you were still very far away and it was already five to." "Dog or no dog, you would have been 25 minutes late." "The fact, is you're never late, Laura." "I would have appreciated a call." "Why are you like that?" "Like what?" "I don't know." "Anti." ""Anti"?" ""Anti" what?" "Anti me." "I come in here... feeling like shit for what I just witnessed, and... you're giving me a really negative vibe." "I don't think I'm being negative, Laura." "I'm just trying to understand you, that's all." "I think it's possible that your being late today wasn't entirely coincidental." "Maybe you're trying to tell me something." "What, I paid the dog to get run over in front of my face?" " I planted him?" " No, you were late already, Laura." "I don't know what you want from me, Paul." "You operate on a very tight schedule." "You're a busy woman." "You always call if there's gonna be a problem, if there's an emergency at the hospital or whatever, you always call me." "You are never late." "In fact, very often you're early." "And so?" "So, what do you think your being late is trying to say to me?" "Nothing, Paul." "I, nothing." "Maybe.... maybe you think that, um... that I'm not doing my job." "'Cause if that's the case, then we should talk about that." " About... what?" " Laura, I know..." "You were upset about..." " witnessing " " Look at you, Paul." "Listen to you." "You're scheming." "I know you." "You, you, you're up to something." "What am I up to?" "It seems to me that the last few sessions that we've had" " have been quite difficult for you." " The last few months, Paul." "Very, very difficult." "And wonderful." "Are you angry with me?" "Because if you are, then... that's something we really need to talk about." "Maybe we need to talk about... what good this therapy is doing you, or... not doing." "Maybe you've had enough of it." "I was late and you, you, you're kicking me out of therapy?" "Fucking hell, use the belt." "It's a more humane punishment." "Look, I'm not angry." "I have been, I..." "I even thought about not coming here at all, just as, like, a small protest." "When I left here last week," "I phoned for a cab, and the line was busy, and I, I was just walking around in circles, round and round, around the block, around the garden." "And then I realized I was in shock, Paul." "I felt like someone had punched me." "That's how you felt?" "Like I'd punched you?" "Do I need to remind you what you said to me, right here at the door... at the end of the last session?" "You know, I have a feeling that if I hadn't mentioned it, you never would have brought it up." "You would have hidden behind that idiotic rule about therapists not initiating topics of conversation." "You're supposed to let the patient lead, right?" "You would've taken advantage of that rule so we'd never talk about what happened again, as if it didn't exist." "What would you like to talk about today?" "You act as if you don't know me, Paul." "That's what pisses me off the most." "You look at me as if, "Remind me again what your name is."" "On the contrary." "I think I'm coming from somewhere that, I think, you know very well." "That's exactly why I'm dwelling on this point." "What point?" " Your anger." " My anger over " "You're trying to make me angry." "You, you're provoking me." "No, I'm suggesting that you already were angry before you came in the door." "You were so angry that you were considering not coming here at all." "And you expressed that anger by coming late." " Fuck!" "I can't win here." "You, you're " " I'm what?" "I was gonna tell you what conclusions" "I've reached this week, but you're not interested, are you?" "You'd prefer to bait me, to piss me off to prove " "But you know what the truth is?" "I'm the opposite of angry." " "Anti"-angry." " Fuck you, Paul!" "When you said you didn't want me, my first instinct was to tell you," ""Who cares?" "I don't want this." "I won't come."" "But then I realized that it's not your fault." "It's my fault." "You don't owe me anything." "You don't have to love me in return." "Laura, I realize that I may have... slammed the door too loudly in your face." " Maybe I was a little, uh..." " Cruel?" "No, I don't think I was cruel." "I was resolved." "Oh." "See, you demanded an unequivocal answer and I gave you one." "I don't apologize for giving you that answer." "I am sorry that I hurt you." "Okay." "So, a) I accept your apology." "And b) I think your answer last time wasn't so unequivocal." "And c) I think my excuse for coming late was perfect." "The excuse may have been perfect, but the timing wasn't coincidental." "I see why they laugh at shrinks and all their bullshit." ""What did, did it really mean?" "What does that really mean?" It's bullshit." " Annoying "bullshit"." " Well, wouldn't it annoy you if your therapist forced you to accept some ridiculous interpretation, and you couldn't defend yourself against it because, after all, you're the patient?" ""Everything you say would be held against you."" "You know what?" "I should've stayed with that dog," "I should taken the dog to the vet instead of coming here." "Here where you're not being adequately treated, maybe?" "What do you, what do you want from me, Paul?" "You, you refuse to listen to me." "I don't think you're listening to yourself." "Maybe you're identifying with the dog." "You know, that dog deserves more than being co-opted as some... idiotic interpretation." "You want to explore some cockamamie theory?" "Then make up something original." "Jesus, make an effort." "You think I don't make an effort?" "Do you think I don't try hard enough in therapy?" "Is that what you think?" "That I sit here like a parasite who feeds off your stories and your reality and your pain?" "Maybe I'm not helping you at all." "Wow." "All of a sudden, I miss Andrew." "For the first time I'm sitting here, facing you, and I miss him." "It's so strange to miss Andrew." "Andrew who loves me, who admits it, who shouts it out in public." "What if I did that?" "Have you ever imagined that?" "No, no, no, Paul." "I've stopped fantasizing." "I've kicked the habit." "It's hazardous to my health." "I'm getting married in a few months." "I need to, uh, conserve every last drop of energy for my wedding." "You're finding, it requires energy that you don't have?" "I thought brides were supposed to be" ""whirling dervishes" of activity." "Oh, my god..." "Just the word "bride" creeps me out." "I told Andrew to pick a caterer and location without me." "Really?" "Yeah, well -- what difference does it make if you get married at the Hilton or the Hyatt?" "It's all the same." "No matter how hard you try to be different, you always end up looking like everybody else, even worse." "God, I wish I could just get married in Vegas." "No caterers, no guests, just an alcoholic justice of the peace and a transvestite organ player." "You know what he did..." "Andrew?" "He sent an e-mail to everyone in his address book." "I mean, everyone:" "his insurance agent, his mechanic..." "We had an exterminator over a couple of months ago, even he got an e-mail." "He's told everybody." "I haven't even told my father." "Really?" "Why, I haven't had time, I mean, you know... been busy, and..." "I didn't want to tell him over the phone." "Andrew suggested that we both go in there and tell him together, but..." "I don't know, something happened, and we didn't get around to it." "Besides, I don't, I don't want us both to go in there, you know... hand in hand, all lovey-dovey like the movies..." ""Guess what, Daddy!"" "So it's not... exactly that it didn't work out, you just... you've avoided telling him." "He hasn't been feeling well lately." "He's had all these tests done." "Of course, I take him." "He doesn't know what questions to ask." "He thinks, because I'm a doctor, they'll be more straight up with me." "To be honest, it would be much nicer to be in the dark, not know the truth." "I could be... positive, encouraging, optimistic." "He has an MRI today." "Maybe the news of you and Andrew would come as a welcome distraction to him... make him happy... yeah?" "Yes." "Well, that's a problem." "What -- what is the problem?" "Well, it'll give him something to look forward to." "You mean if you tell him, it'll be real?" "Yeah, I guess so." "I don't know, maybe..." "I know Andrew's been so happy these days, I feel like I'm..." " cheating him." " How?" "Just by being sad." "Well, not, not sad exactly, but not happy either..." "Neutral, indifferent." "It's like Andrew made us do the rounds last week and see all our friends and tell them the good news." "And I just feel like..." "Do you ever, do you ever see the movie "King Kong"?" "Yes." "How they capture him from the wild, and they bring him back to civilization, and they put him on display for the whole world to see?" "But he wasn't... indifferent." "He was angry, if I remember." "Well, whatever." "It's a freak show." "I feel like a freak show." "Everyone's looking at me with these... fake smiles plastered all over their face." "It's..." "It's like they're all waiting to see what I do next." "Well, we don't really have, uh..." "we don't really have that much time left." " Come on, I just got here." " You were half an hour late." "We're back to that again, that bullshit about me being late." "I know you don't think it's important." "I do." "I give up, Paul." "It's pointless." "You might as well just... bind and gag me, 'cause whatever I say or do doesn't make a difference anyway." "Maybe that's what you'd really like to do:" " Shut me up." " Yeah, I would... 'cause you keep saying the same thing." "I hear you, Paul, you wanna kick me out of therapy." "I get it." "No, I don't want to kick you out." "Absolutely not." "I do think that we should allow the possibility into the room." "The possibility of us..." "winding down our therapy." "Believe me, you let it in." "How long have you been thinking about this?" "Have you been thinking about getting rid of me for a long time?" "To be honest, it looks to me like you've been waiting for this to happen, hoping this would happen." "My being late today is the perfect excuse to get rid of me." "First of all, I'm not getting rid of you, Laura." "I'm, I'm, I'm just asking you, to consider, whether this therapy is really helping." "Ooh, so, now you're trying to soften the blow." "Thank you very much." "Don't bother." "Secondly, I think that you tossed me out... a long time ago." "You don't want me to treat you as a psychologist." "You want me to treat you as somebody... who's in love with you." "And in my opinion, that is ruining any chance of this therapy being truly productive." "Let's face it:" "I have not been your therapist... for a very long time, Laura." "I, I, I'm the one who says no to you." "I'm, I'm the one who humiliates you." "I've been humiliating you for the last year by not responding to you." "My honest opinion is that it is really difficult to continue therapy this way, from such an emotionally charged place." "Therapy should not be a source of constant humiliation for you." "You really deserve more." "What, you're not a..." "good enough therapist all of a sudden?" "Am I the first patient to be in love with you, Paul?" "You've been a therapist for 20 years." "Aren't you supposed to know what to do in these cases?" "For Christ's sakes, just deal with it." "Maybe you can't treat me because you're in love with me, too." "I, I can't treat you, Laura, because the boundaries have been breached... too often." "You've breached them by telling me that you no longer want to be my patient." "So fucking what?" "What, our time is up?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Couldn't you give me extra time?" "There was this..." "little dog, remember?" " I'm afraid I can't, Laura, it's, uh " " Come on, ten minutes." "I have to be somewhere else." "I'm sorry." "Its... uh, it's the end of the month." "I, uh..." "I presume you will need a... a receipt." "I've done out an invoice." "I've billed you for the " " You need some help?" " Yeah, if you don't mind." " Thanks." " You here to see Paul?" "Yeah." "You're a patient of his?" " You?" " Yeah." " What's that?" " Oh." "Just something I brought him." "What, a gift?" "Wow." "Did he solve something huge for you?" "Major crisis?" "No, I've just been coming to him for a couple of weeks." "It's funny I've never run into you before." "Is this your usual time?" "Yeah, every Tuesday." "It's Monday." "What?" "It's, uh..." "Monday." " No." " Yeah." "It's not " "Ooh, shit." " It's " " It's Monday." " It's Monday." "Fuck." "You know, I was up all night, and I somehow got... got the times... you know, I'm gonna come back tomorrow... and bring it tomorrow." "Too bad your good Samaritan efforts were wasted." "It's okay." "Do you know of a vet, by any chance?" "A vet?" "Really?" "No." "I've got a friend who's got a dog." "I can ask him... if you want." "Where you headed?" "Downtown." "You need a ride?" "Well, I was gonna get a cab." "Cab?" "How would you look in a cab when you could be rolling with this?" "Come on." "What's your name?" "Laura." "Alex." "Let's do it."