"THE WHORE AND THE WHALE" "Dear Lola,... I'm in Poblenou, at a barricade." "After the battle of the Ebro the Nationalists drove us into the sea." "They are crossing the Llobregat as I write to you, quite pointlessly." "I could keep on running... but the war has brought me to your birthplace, like retuming home, as if you were waiting for me." "I liked your letter." "It's been a Iong time since I got a love letter." "I didn't write it." "He did." "It's the same." "You sent it to me." "How did you know I was in barcelona?" "Everybody told me, except you." "That you were staying at your father's place... with a son, and without a husband." "Don't look at him that way, I'm starting to hate him." "Who was he?" "An Argentine guy who died in barcelona when the nationalists arrived." "His pictures of the war aren't bad, but... these ones are a complete mystery." "Look." "We got them from a collector." "The letter came as part of the lot, in his notebook." "And the pages of the letter, did you tear them out?" "No, they were loose, Iike this." "But he didn't mail it." "Look." "Have a good look." "What?" "She's exactly like you were at her age." "You escaped from me until the very last night, when the tour was over and you were going back to Spain." "All of Buenos Aires was at the farewell party." "I couldn't cope with it all, handing over chorus girls, but you..." "I saved for myself." "No one else in the company undressed like you did." "As if it were a relief." "As if no one could hurt you." "Iola!" "Nothing in this life could scare you." "Not in this one, nor in the other one either." "I almost fell!" "You scared the life out of me!" "What were you going to do?" "kill myself..." "So they would all see." "See you naked?" "If a photo can steal your soul, I took yours that night." "Your memory is still intact, motionless, caught in that photo like a fallen angel." "Is that the woman in the letter?" "I don't know, she looks like a chorus girl." "There is a DoIores in the program." "But the letter could be for anyone." "Anyway." "She's a character." "Go to Argentina, investigate that period and write about it." "Once... at my convent, I took all my clothes off in the confessional booth." "That day I finished my primary education." "How old were you?" "Fourteen." "I took my clothes off and sang "eis Segadors"." "Bon colp de falc!" "Did you hear the general's speech?" "He toasted "the return of the company to our Spain... traditional Spain which has begun to free itself from the reds"." "I was taking photos of him." "You went upstairs as if he'd insulted your mother." "My father." "Do you know why the nuns threw me out?" "Because my father burned a church and they killed him." "They are my family." "Nobody else cares if I leave or stay." "Me." "I do." "You're going to Patagonia." "You were the only one who hadn't packed up." "You didn't want to go back to Spain, but didn't dare stay on your own either." "You'd heard all the bullshit." "Do you really care about me?" "The truth is, you saved my Iife." "You can do what you Iike with me." "Don't sell your soul to the devil." "Who said anything about a soul?" "You did as you pleased, without thinking of the price you'd have to pay." "And whether you stay or go, it's never for free." "And finding out what you want doesn't come free either." "How long are you staying?" "till Sunday." "On Monday I've got to be back at work." "Writing silly articles for a women's magazine." "I didn't send you this letter just so I couId see you, Vera." "I want you to publish." "By the age of 20 you had won some award and published a novel." "That was then." "When you ran behind me picking up the papers I'd thrown away." "The other day I mentioned this book at dinner and my father got up from the table." "He's never read it, but he couldn't stand his patients praising it." "It messed up my Iife, you know?" "Your father." "The book." "Are you sure you want me to write another one?" "That afternoon when you took this photo of me fills an entire chapter." "And I didn't dare write about all of it." "Many years have gone by." "Does it show?" "What is it, Vera?" "I have a lump here." "feel it." "My sister is waiting to take me to her gynecologist." "will you never ask me to stay?" "You have to go to the gynecologist." "Jordi!" "The things you say, Vera." "When you left me for Antonio." "You see?" "You don't understand anything." "That's why no woman will last beyond the third fuck with you." "I was with you for a year." "barely eleven months." "The happiest time of my Iife." "The only time when I didn't feel alone in the whole world." "Digame'l en catala." "Et vaig estimar molt." "CataIan..." "That's the voice of my mother." "Her words." "I lie on my childhood bed and her stories swirl round my head." "Do you lie on other beds?" "Nobody's asked me to." "Hello, Toni." "Sorry to interrupt your meeting." "We're back in Madrid and I wanted to make arrangements for Juanito." "Where are you?" "ln Avenida de America." "There's loads of traffic..." "Everybody's coming back to town." "The thing is..." "I won't be staying at home, Antonio." "I also wanted to tell you that." "I don't know what my father said, but I've made up my mind." "I've been thinking about it all month." "It's better that I don't stay at home, even for one night." "If MaribeI's at home I'II leave him with her." "I Iove you too." "Guess who's waiting for you in the bathtub?" "Pikachu." "shall we give him a bath while MaribeI makes dinner?" "And then later..." "Remember we talked about mummy not staying at home tonight?" "Why?" "I've already explained it to you." "You know sometimes you do things and you don't know why?" "And then you tell me off." "I need to be alone, my love." "To find out what I want." "What do you want?" "I don't know." "I don't want to get confused by what my father wants for me." "Or grandpa, or whoever." "It's been the same all my Iife." "And now it's almost happening again with your father." "The train seemed to me like a phantom ship, adrift." "You would give in to whatever happened without any impatience." "But I, who always want what I haven't got, counted out the minutes like a prisoner." "Don't you want to make your wishes?" "What wishes?" "It's Cap d'an." "New Year." "You eat a grape with each ring of the bell and ask for what you want." "Who are you missing tonight?" "Nobody." "Not even your family?" "I really miss my uncle." "If my father met your uncle he'd throw him in jail." "He hunts anarchists." "So you can really wish for twelve things altogether?" "I wish for everything I want." "It's twelve o'cIock!" "I was afraid of you." "I can only admit that now you're dead." "Your body scared me, so full of life." "EmiIio, there are no grapes, but there's wine, it's the same thing." "And I find this hard to admit but... life separated us more than death did." "I want to always faII in love like this." "With me." "With whoever!" "With whom I choose." "With me." "I wish you would die for me." "May all my wishes come true." "It's no good saying "all"." "You've got to say them one by one." "If you don't cheat the wish will come true." "Jordi!" "I was dreaming." "You saved my Iife." "In a hotel." "Last night." "I took Juanito home and called you." "I haven't felt this lonely since my mother died." "I started typing on her typewriter." "Listen." "A blank page." "You can't read anything, the ribbon's completely dry." "About that woman." "The one in the photos." "The one in the letter." "The letter from the photographer, the guy you hate." "I was dreaming about him." "He was photographing me stark naked." "Just like that." "We're going to meet." "Excuse me." "Hang on." "This thing about Argentina is still on?" "I'm going to leave the magazine." "I don't have to think it over." "I'm not going to stay here." "Because I can't stand feeling like shit just 100 meters away from where my son is feeling like shit, as if I were dead!" "Last night I cried more than he did." "And if I think it over, I'II end up agreeing with Antonio." "I'II be back home in three days." "It's better if I go." "As soon as possible." "Nothing." "Just see the gynecologist and have a few tests." "Three or four days." "The time it'II take you to send me the ticket and the photos." "Thanks." "I'II do a good job, you'II see." "We wanted to get to the end of the world." "There weren't even any roads." "When the gringo landed at Bahía Blanca we were already about to board a ship." "He confirmed my first job." "It wasn't much money, but enough for our trip to the south." "This Gringo Orestes was a peddler who had a plane instead of a cart." "You got into that machine as if you'd always been delivering stuff in Patagonia." "The town popped up, in the middle of nowhere." "That first stop promised a pleasant stay." "Easy work, bed, and food." "I had to take photos for a musician... to illustrate the covers of his scores." "Nobody knew his name." "Even his son called him by his sumame: "Suárez"." "Gringo!" "Did you bring the records?" "Here we are, Suárez." "I got everything." "I've brought the photographer and everything we'II need for the great Radio EI Mundo tango competition." "Santamarina." "Suárez." "EI Pibe Pedro," "Bandoneon player and future composer." "EmiIio, right?" "The Gringo speaks highly of you." "Did you come alone?" "DoIores Puig." "A friend of emilio's." "Your hands are cold." "welcome to Patagonia." "The ones I'II send to the contest are like these... only they'II have your photographs." "How much will you pay me?" "You tell me." "Who'II see the photos?" "tell me about them and I'II imagine them." "How was the trip?" "I wouldn't get in one of those if they tied me up." "I Ioved it." "I must have been a bird in a previous life." "Yes, women are braver than men." "We're only good for failing in love." "Doing artistic things:" "taking photographs, composing a tango." "Or piloting a plane, if you're brave enough." "But when you really need a man, call a woman." "Suárez reminded me of my father." "He liked lecturing." "He despised people from Buenos Aires but wanted them to dance his tangos." "He'd decided to illustrate his scores with women." "That's why I took an interest in Matilde." "When you climbed that ladder behind her, I had a premonition." "I didn't tell you. I didn't want to be a prophet of doom." "For you, that couple of weeks in Suárez's hotel... was part of the adventure." "Aren't there any whales?" "They come in winter, in June or july." "Get out!" "Get out!" "I told you I don't want you sleeping here." "Everything's upside down here." "Even the moon's upside down." "This room is shameful." "shameful, why?" "My name is DoIores." "They call me LoIa." "MatiIde." "EmiIio told me about this place." "Apart from being a hotel it's also..." "Nobody will bother you." "Don't be afraid." "I'm not afraid, just curious." "I was invited to one in Buenos Aires but I didn't want to go." "So you let women in here?" "Aren't I a woman?" "Every once in a while I fall asleep with my pen in my hand." "And I can feel you behind my back, peering from this letter like in the darkroom." "These ghosts who appear in the photos are all that remain." "Nameless faces... that someone will find in some dead photographer's bag under a bed." "Don't touch, please." "It'II be sore for a few days." "Try to put up with it." "You've been dreaming a Iot." "It's the anaesthesia." "You were talking in your sleep all night." "What was I saying?" "Something about photos." "I'm preparing a book of photos from the '30s." "Sounds good." "How lovely." "You'II have to go to a "milonga," then." "I've already been." "They asked me to dance, but I didn't dare." "I'm hopeless." "Liar." "You can't tell me you don't dance tango." "Don't listen to her." "What's wrong with her?" "I'm old, what do you think?" "But I have a good memory." "You're CataIonian, aren't you?" "Isn't everybody in town "giving you the glad eye"?" "Oh!" "Listen to that!" "Something for your book." "That expression's antique, grandma!" "What does it mean?" "That all the men chase after you." "My God, yes." "Men certainly do stare at you here." "Like we were running around naked." "One of these days you'II we walking in the streets again, and they'II be murmuring their compliments as you pass." "As if I still had both breasts." "Did you know what you had before coming in here?" "I'd had a few tests." "But I didn't think it wouId grow so fast." "What was the doctor's name?" "Dr." "Zimmerman." "He said I should go back to Madrid for the operation." "But you didn't listen." "If I were you, I'd have listened." "You should go home." "What home?" "You don't have anyone back in Spain?" "I have a son..." "I have a husband... and my father is a doctor, he'd take care of everything." "But I'd be as lonely as I am here." "Here I have no one to turn to." "It's clearer this way." "Last night, a friend from barcelona called you." "Jordi?" "That's him." "He's going to call again." "He asked me not to say anything, to keep it a surprise." "He seemed sweet." "Why did he call here?" "Didn't you give his name when you checked in here?" "Just in case something happened." "Did you think I'd leave without paying?" "And why do you think you ended up in the cardio unit?" "You're OK now, but in the operating theatre you had an arrhythmia." "If Zimmerman has something to say, he should say it to me." "Not to anybody else." "You've got to leave this place." "alright, grandma, now Vera needs some rest, OK?" "Her name is not Vera." "She's called DoIores." "Straight away, you arranged things so as not to be alone." "There you were, leaming the ways of your new family." "Matilde danced, unaware that you were spying on her." "But I knew from that very first night that there, far away from everything... you were beginning to find out who you were." "How's our GaIIega doing?" "I'm "La CataIana"." "In Argentina all Spaniards are called "GaIIegos"." "Come in, don't be afraid." "How did you know it was me?" "I heard you." "Your heartbeat is accelerating." "No to mention what I can smell." "You're just a girl." "How old are you?" "Don't you want to tell me about yourself?" "I don't feel like it right now." "Did we bring that?" "I ask the questions here." "Do you want to try?" "No." "Sorry." "I can't stand mysteries." "If you play with fire..." "You're not blind." "I can see something." "Lights... and shadows." "Lights and shadows." "Have you been like that all your life?" "I've managed to see what I needed to see." "You haven't seen me." "Come." "Here." "Gringo told me about you." "But he undersoId you." "They tell me you're a dancer." "A chorus girl." "Instead of dancing I flash my ass." "I can dance "sardana", thanks to my mother." "Do you want to try dancing tango?" "Just walk, that's all." "Smooth, Iike a queen." "Squeezing your pussy." "Look who's here, grandma!" "hello." "It's forbidden, but thanks." "How's it going?" "Here I am." "They're keeping me alive to get money out of me." "Is that so?" "Let's ask the girls to unplug you then." "Do it, I can die for free anywhere else." "Nurse, unplug the old lady for me!" "Stop that, you'II get us all fired." "I went down to the nursing home and picked up the scores." "What did you want them for?" "They won't believe I was young once." "Don't tell me this is you, grandma!" "Didn't you have any shame?" "Shame of what?" "Not here... but here, we women are virgins aI our lives." "Even LoIa." "Though she liked playing the whore." "Don't touch that!" "What are those?" "Money." "Two bits for a fuck, four for the whole night." "Not two weeks had gone by and you already seemed one of them." "You went from table to table, so as not to get bored, confusing the clients." "You take photos of her?" "Naked?" "Dressed as a chorus girl." "Like I did in the train?" "I'II show you later." "But like this..." "No." "No?" "No!" "It would cost you a Iot." "How much?" "AII those tokens." "The bandoneon was sacred." "But you never asked permission." "You couldn't go through life without playing it." "If you drop it, I'II beat the shit out of you." "Is it very difficult?" "Your whole life wouldn't be long enough." "Does it bother you that EmiIio sleeps with us?" "Why should it bother her?" "Sometimes I eat at home and sometimes I eat at a restaurant." "Like your clients do." "Get out!" "You're like flies." "I stole this from a theatre." "If you Iike it, it's yours." "Stay still." "That's it." "Both of you." "The only thing you never touched was the books." "But you knew by heart all the stuff you'd leamed in bed." "You wanted to teach Matilde, who was a professional." "It's funny, isn't it?" "A whore who doesn't believe in sharing her body." "Want to see how EmiIio doesn't believe in it either?" "That you're the one who'II screw other people?" "We do as we please." "You know what?" "This breaks only once." "And then you're a virgin for life." "The only one you could fool was the kid..." "He couldn't stop staring at you." "And at me too." "But he looked at me like it'd been all my fault from the start." "Did you get laid yet, big boy?" "Which one do you prefer?" "Sometimes I remember that kid." "I guess he's still pawing your photos and your memories." "The few we left behind." "What are you doing up?" "If you need anything, just ask." "Go back to bed." "Want to see them?" "alright." "You go back to bed and I'II bring them to you." "I must call Jordi." "No, you can't." "Isn't that your friend who called from Spain?" "You can't call overseas from here." "You can call tomorrow, when we transfer you." "There's a payphone in the hall." "Come on." "Vera!" "Give me some change." "You can't call Spain with coins." "You need a card." "Give me a card then." "Where would I get one?" "Have you got a card?" "Me?" "No." "please, Vera, you'II get me into trouble." "Don't you realize?" "What don't I realize?" "That I've got cancer?" "That I'II be excavated like my mother?" "Of course I do!" "Better than anyone else!" "Vera, listen..." "No, you listen!" "I'II do with my Iife, and I've no idea how much there is left of it as I fucking please!" "OK?" "If you want to help me, get me a card." "I have one." "Thanks." "MatiIde's related to you?" "She's like a grandmother." "She thinks I'm somebody else." "A CataIonian, Iike myself." "Jordi?" "It's Vera." "I'm fine, I swear." "No, that's not why I'm calling." "It's about the book." "I think I've found something." "I'm not crazy!" "I've had a breast removed, not my brain!" "Don't tell my sister..." "It's as bad as telling my father." "Let Antonio think what he likes, that I'm here to dance, fuck... whatever, but I don't want him to know about the operation." "Good." "Listen." "Try and remember if you've ever seen a photo of that woman with a "bandoneón"." "The one who looks just like me." "Naked, with a "bandoneón"." "A "bandoneón"!" "A musical instrument, Jordi, Jesus!" "The "bandoneón", Suárez." "Sit down." "Listen." "If you play it like this..." "It'II just moan." "But if you spread your legs... wide apart... it sighs... for you." "And if you do this and touch here... it just gives in." "Suárez." "You're in the picture." "Move." "Listen." "G." "A, G, F, G..." "Move it, Suárez, please..." "It's like a woman." "You have to know where to press the right buttons." "Look at me." "Don't you Iike it when I Iook at Suárez?" "And MatiIde?" "Look at me." "I can't see you." "It's as if you were spying on me." "Look at me." "I can't see you." "That wasn't you anymore." "You were my invention." "Or an invention of Suárez, who said that picture was the best, even though he'd never seen any of them." "She's about to be christened." "I've been looking for this for so long now, girl." "Your smell is a B a B flat." "E, F, G, A." "G, F, E, D, C, F." "D, E, F, G, E, D, C..." "B, C, D..." "I'm going to dedicate this tango to you." "It's yours." "Yours forever." "When are you leaving?" "early tomorrow." "I'II pay the Gringo for the photos once you leave them at the printers." "I shouldn't really have to pay for them since you ended up with such a good deal." "Are you sure about this?" "You haven't fallen in love?" "Me?" "With this woman?" "She's not the kind of woman you faII in love with." "I couldn't take it that she's fucking other guys." "What do you think being in love is, you fool?" "I don't know..." "It didn't happen to me, but..." "I think she is." "She's a girl to fall for, this one." "It wouldn't even occur to EmiIio, even if he was drunk." "What do you think being in love is?" "A mistake." "bullshit." "It's healing well." "On Monday I'II take the stitches out." "Enough." "I'm going to put a waterproof dressing on it." "If you're careful, you can take a shower." "First, can I see if for myself?" "Go ahead." "You can come and see me on Monday at 4 PM, alright?" "You can fly to Madrid that same night." "You can even book it." "alright." "Once I'm back in Madrid I'II start chemotherapy." "For now, just take the antibiotics for another week... the painkillers every six hours... and if the pain is too much, go to the drugstore and get this." "This will make you feel dizzy." "You're still on your own?" "absolutely." "What are you going to do this weekend?" "I guess I'II stay at my hotel." "Why?" "Have you got other plans for me?" "You haven't told me if I'II need chemotherapy yet or not." "I get the biopsy results tomorrow." "But it's probable, yes." "You're very young, Vera." "At your age..." "I'm the same age my mother was." "My father made her have chemotherapy, but she died anyway." "You start low and move up as high as you can." "As high as the spider will take you." "Every day, a little bit higher." "You'II be okay." "I can tell when they bring them back from the operating theatre." "You look at them in the eye and you just know." "When they wake up you wonder what they saw, where they were." "I'm not a believer, but to me, they look like astronauts." "I don't know, I've never looked an astronaut in the eye, but... but I know there are things that belong to another order." "Don't let Dr. Zimmerman hear this... but there are things doctors don't know, and they can't explain." "They wheel in some really desperate cases, not a hope in hell, but they seem to survive." "If we forget ourselves and start talking as if you weren't there, you're the one who's got to tell us:" "Hey, hang on, wait a minute, I haven't left yet." "It's up to you." "Either you sink or swim, no one can do it for you." "Have the whales come yet?" "They've been here a while now." "Did you dive with them?" "tell me!" "A boy wanted to know where the whales go when they leave." "In winter he'd look at them from the shore... and in summer he'd keep on asking." "Wait for me!" "But when people talked about the sea, they'd talk about the surface." "They'd tell him to be careful, not to swim too deep." "Not a word about the whales." "One day he stopped asking, and went to swim with the whales." "Go on." "Down there you see everything upside down." "The surface is a shiny crystal... and whales fly." "The boy realized from shore you see the wrong side of the sea." "From the bottom you can see the real sea." "He was a bit scared." "Why?" "What happened?" "Nothing, they just got too close." "whales are shy, but they're also curious." "They stared at him with their great big eyes... to have a good look at him." "I'm the one who's the mystery, thought the boy." "And at that moment, he realized that everything is relative." "That there's really very little that we can understand." "So he stopped wondering where the whales go... and was happy to just sit and wait for them." "Where do they go?" "I don't know." "Something tells them they have to leave." "And they trust that." "A call... the command of the species." "The migration of the souls." "Something takes them to their destiny." "They come and they go, even if we'II never know where they've been." "It's not a fish!" "It's got warm blood!" "And it's got a harpoon stuck in it!" "Pedro!" "Come here!" "What's it like?" "Huge." "And when they are about to die, they come out onto the beach." "No, grandma, no." "They die in the deep sea." "Every now and then, one gets stranded." "But we don't know why." "Because they're tired." "I'm tired too." "will you take me there?" "Throw me into the sea." "Your father will tell you where." "And don't forget to get the money." "The painting is hanging over the bed." "Give it to her... tell her to come closer." "Come here, CataIonian." "Don't be afraid." "Take care of that painting for me." "I took really good care of it." "I've been keeping it safe for you... my whole life." "Get out, please." "Get out now." "Out of here!" "Both of you!" "Cardiac arrest!" "I don't know why I went to that beach, it was like a circus." "Watching an accident of nature." "I called the photo that I gave" ""The Call of the Species"." "Not just because of the story she used to tell." "I gave it that title for you too." "Iola!" "Come here, EmiIio!" "Give me your hand." "Get out!" "Come on, come into the water!" "Are you afraid of getting the money that you've hidden in your pocket wet?" "What did they pay you for?" "The photos." "And what was Orestes paid for?" "I don't know, Iola, perhaps for having brought us." "And me?" "How much do I get for posing naked?" "I don't know, Iola, you should sort that out with Suarez." "I don't owe you anything." "Yes, you do owe me!" "You owe me a trip to the end of the world!" "Remember, you bastard!" "You are free to come and go and fuck anyone you Iike." "I'm not even owner of my own body!" "Hello, Vera, love." "We've had a lovely Sunday, haven't we Juanito?" "And Juanito has leamed something new." "Hang on..." "Juanito." "Do it for mummy." "He's leamed how to whistle." "He's been practising for you." "When are you coming back?" "It's me, Antonio. I've been calling you every day this week." "They said at the hotel that you'd gone." "Where are you?" "Hello, mum, welcome to your computer." "Hello, Vera." "This is Jordi." "Antonio called me, freaked out because he couldn't find you." "I had to tell him, Vera." "Hello, mum, welcome to your comp......" "Vera, I'm calling about Matilde's photo." "I'm going to go to her nursing home, but I'm not sure how to give you directions." "She's to be cremated tomorrow, at 9AM at Chacarita cemetery." "If you like, I'll meet you there." "hello." "In Spain we give two kisses." "I spent all night doing paperwork." "Not even dying is easy in this country." "Can I help you?" "Do you want them?" "would you give them to me?" "I can't fit anything else in here." "The CataIonian that intrigued you so much." "MatiIde loved her." "Even though my grandfather dedicated his best tango to her." "He was a musician, but lived off women." "And this one, the CataIonian woman, was called DoIores?" "Why can't I go by plane?" "I weigh nothing, less than a letter." "I want to go alone." "How many days will you spend in TreIew?" "I don't know, Iola." "I have to find a laboratory, make the copies, talk to the printers..." "What if you never come back?" "How do I get back to Buenos Aires?" "You're not free..." "You're a coward." "gentlemen!" "I want to make a toast!" "To our friend, the photographer." "May he follow his destiny!" "Cheers!" "Who knows what marvels he will he find?" "But there's none better than the one he's leaving behind." "I've always been intrigued by her legend." "What legend?" "Something they say she did, which gave the name to the tango." "The light bulb." "That's it." "What do you mean?" "Now it's nice and warm." "Now I want you to play for me." "Apparently the first time my grandfather played this tango in public she danced to it." "With a light bulb stuck between her legs." "Here's 500, I'II send the rest as usual." "alright." "When I came to study here I lived at MatiIde's place." "I slept on the couch, looking at that photo." "A couple of times I asked her about it, but she would get lost in thought." "She would just start talking to herself." "Poor old thing." "Where is this place?" "In Patagonia." "What did you come to Buenos Aires to study?" "biology." "Three years." "Then I had to leave and dropped out." "In Mexico I used to take tourists on scuba diving trips." "Is it true you swim with whales?" "I'm supposed to only observe them." "I wouldn't like that..." "What?" "You just observing me." "If I were a whale, I mean." "What are you going to do with all this?" "The lady asked me to clear her room out." "I have to go." "I'm going to miss my plane." "Besides, if there's something I can't stand, it's collecting memories." "Is that so?" "And I don't like fareweIIs either." "Be careful." "Aren't you going to ask me what they did to me?" "No." "They removed a tumour the size of a walnut... the Ieft breast and I don't know what else." "The stitches are still there..." "like barbed wire." "I wanted you to know." "I knew." "I couId show you my heart." "really..." "You can see it between my ribs." "The heartbeats." "Here, a memento." "Take anything you Iike, but let's go." "Anything?" "Go, then." "Don't miss your flight." "I'II take care of everything." "I've already missed it." "You can still make it." "This is the peak season." "They'II be starting on the waiting list by now." "Do you really mean it?" "I'd Iike to stay here for a while, on my own." "really?" "I'II like to give you something of mine." "I wrote this." "seriously?" "This can't be you?" "Yes, it is, when you were a girl!" "Look at this, you posed for photos naked, just like..." "You really do look alike." "She wasn't far wrong, the old lady." "Stop it!" "So you were a writer." "You said it:" "I was." "When I did what I wanted." "Like what?" "I don't know, what I wanted." "Like what?" "Like fucking a stranger." "Who is it?" "It's me, Suarez." "Here." "Take this." "Urondo's token." "Take it!" "The plane went out over the sea and we flew over the beacon." "The tide was high and the whale had gone." "I had a weird feeling, one of relief, that stayed with me for the rest of the joumey." "As if everything had fallen into place." "This moming a whale was stranded on the shores of Patagonia." "Here's the story." "For reasons we are not aware this 15 metre-long adult whale was stranded." "Apparently it's a female." "We are working with volunteers and staff from the institute in an effort to keep it alive." "And we're hoping that at high tide it might free itself naturally." "Thanks to our colleagues at Puerto Madryn TV for this coverage..." "What are you doing here?" "I called the Institute." "They told me you were with the whale." "That you'd be back here when it got dark." "When I saw that it was stranded again..." "It was stranded again?" "That a whale was stranded again on the same spot." "What was that?" "whales." "Mating." "This place is perfect for mating." "The seal." "This is Vera." "hello, seal." "hello, Vera." "I guess I also came to see you again." "I'm sorry, it's not my fault." "Somebody called me." "well... me." "It seems to make no sense to you?" "But it's like the boy in your story, we can't really understand much." "The same happened to me with MatiIde." "I felt I was being called and went up to say goodbye." "I thought it was me who was leaving." "Do you have any rooms free?" "How's the whale?" "still alive." "It's under the beacon on the cliff." "Wasn't the one with the harpoon over there?" "Somewhere around there." "Where did it have the harpoon?" "Stuck right here." "Behind the eye." "I'm sorry, madam, we have no rooms left." "She can have mine." "I'II sleep on the boat." "You're crazy." "You can't." "It's yours." "The whale you mentioned, the one with the harpoon," "was that many years ago?" "It was 1934." "A long time ago..." "could it be the same whale?" "She'd have to be very old." "What do I do with this?" "I don't know." "He sent it to you." "Didn't he give you anything else?" "No letter?" "He sent the scores for Suarez." "And he asked me to give you one as a souvenir, that's all." "You can't work like this." "Aren't you taking anything?" "When I get back I'II bring you some medicine." "Where was EmiIio going?" "He was on his way south, to Puerto Deseado." "He was going to take a ship for Tierra del Fuego." "Suarez owes me money." "It's yours if you can get me out of here." "I couId hide in the plane." "Nobody will know." "And afterwards?" "How could I come back?" "I have to work here." "Take care of that cold of yours." "The Gringo Orestes had the habit of talking to himself." "Once he told me that forgotten words could still be heard in the air." "That if you repeated them, the same things would happen again." "I'm writing this, the things I never told you, in case that's true." "When these photos were taken they didn't think about identifying them." "Look the calluses are the same." "Your hunch is not so absurd." "Scientists don't believe in these things?" "On the contrary." "That's what we do." "Last night I dropped by but I couldn't find you." "Do you always write at night?" "It's been ages since I wrote." "You got inspired." "This place is ideal for that too." "They say you just have to get started." "The problem is, if it doesn't come out, it rots inside." "Each of these represented a pile of money." "They made combs, nitro glycerine, oils, all sorts of stuff." "How long can it hold out?" "probably, until another tide." "There isn't much we can do." "Keep her wet, and scare the fucking seaguIIs hurting her." "It's sink or swim." "If she doesn't free herself nobody else can." "And what if it was the same one?" "I don't know, perhaps it wouId be of scientific interest." "You win, GaIIega." "It has a scar behind the eye." "Did you hear?" "How did you get in this mess, old lady?" "What did you come back for?" "I started reading your book on the plane." "Did you?" "I liked it." "I Iike the girl's freedom." "really?" "would you have liked to meet her?" "You left a letter inside." "Did you read it?" "Of course not." "I've read it a thousand times." "And instead of text for a book of photos, I wrote something else." "I put myself in Iola's place." "She wasn't afraid of anything." "But how do you know?" "I know." "I can imagine her." "I write about her as if I was writing about myself." "And you haven't written anything else until now?" "No." "After publishing the novel I got married... and had a son." "Do you have children?" "Yes." "A nine year old girl who lives with her mother in Mexico." "And can you bear being away from her?" "No." "Then you know how much it hurts." "You didn't really come to write a book on whales, did you?" "Didn't MatiIde ever mention a photographer?" "Yes, the one who did the photos for the scores." "I've got his photos, and the letter." "He wrote it to Iola the day before he died, in January '39." "He never sent it?" "He was killed in the war." "But LoIa was dead already." "I came here to investigate that." "What do you know about lola?" "Nothing." "Just what my grandfather told me." "That she went back to Spain and became a star." "That's not true." "If LoIa worked for him, there's no way he wouldn't see." "My grandfather was blind, Vera." "What you wrote is related to these photos?" "Did you already have them when MatiIde left you the photo?" "They belong to a publishing house." "It's publishing a book of photos." "They want me to write the text." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I don't know." "I'm sorry." "I was about to return to Madrid, empty handed, as I'd found nothing," "I was operated on in Buenos Aires and I met MatiIde." "Chance, destiny, call it what you Iike." "I took you to her nursing home." "It wasn't destiny." "You screwed me and you kept MatiIde's stuff." "That's not chance." "Anyway, you were going to throw everything out." "hello!" "What are you doing here?" "Nothing, just passing by." "If you still have any complaints, this is the editor of the book." "Jordi Ferré." "He'II take care of everything." "I forgot your name." "Ernesto Suárez." "The grandson of the guy who exploited LoIa." "Who?" "LoIa, Jordi." "The one in the letter." "hello, Ernesto." "How did you find me?" "Where do you want me to start?" "From where you betrayed me to Antonio." "After that I called Dr. Zimmerman, I flew to Madrid, from there to Buenos Aires, went to the hospital to see him, then to your hotel and you'd left." "A two hour flight to Puerto Madryn..." "I searched for you at every hotel in town..." "I booked a room and took a taxi to come here." "What's the name of this place?" "Puerto Pirámide." "That's it, and here I am." "100 kms in a taxi." "I should be in the Guinness Book of Records." "You saw my doctor, Jordi." "I can't believe it." "You're not even capable of watering a plant." "It wasn't hard." "I just thought:" "What would Antonio do?" "What would he ask?" "What would Antonio do in my place?" "Let them look after you, Vera." "You can't work this out on your own." "I got cancer on my own." "Antonio went to get the tests you had in Madrid... and your father contacted Dr. Zimmerman." "Anyway." "I have the results of the biopsy." "Give me that." "shall we go out for a drink?" "Shit." "AII I can think of is getting drunk with you." "Give me one." "No, Vera." "Being healthy goes against my principles, but don't ask me that." "It's not the only thing I'II ask of you." "Do you know when I last smoked?" "The last time I had sex with you." "How long ago was that?" "Years." "How many?" "I don't know." "What are you doing?" "Vera, I have presbyopia." "Did the doctor say you could do it?" "I've done it already." "Shit, I'm never the first." "There's nothing like having sex when you're tired." "I haven't forgotten you." "Shut up." "And this place suits you." "You look like a professional fucking with your clothes on." "will you shut up?" "We've certainly done it in strange places... but I don't recall having done it in a whorehouse." "What are you saying?" "The cab driver told me." "There were whores here." "Maybe in this very bed." "What did I say?" "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "PIBE PEDRO AND HIS TANGO QUARTET" "I've heard about that harpoon since I was a kid." "What did you hear?" "It was pulled out of the whale and given to my grandfather." "That's how it survived." "Sheer luck, wouldn't you say?" "Do you know what, GaIIega?" "I don't believe in anything." "I'd Iike to." "To believe in God, be a football fan, to have fought in the revolution..." "But no, the few things I believed in collapsed." "Now you tell me it's the same whale, and so it is." "You have no idea how scared I was of that harpoon." "What will you have?" "A whisky." "No ice." "What did you go to pick up at the nursing home?" "Money." "It has no value." "Just some old bills MatiIde kept as a souvenir." "Is this what you're talking about?" "Where did you get those?" "MatiIde asked me to scatter them with her ashes when she died," "I don't know why." "Do you know what I think?" "This was lola's price." "What do you know about that?" "Emilio mentions this money in a letter." "He said he gave it to Matilde." "And apparently it's true." "You know what I mean?" "I was a kid, I barely remember." "Do you remember the money?" "Iola!" "I want to thank you... for being with MatiIde until the end." "My son told me she was fond of you." "Yes, it's true." "Let me introduce myself." "I am Pibe Pedro." ""Bandoneón" player." "Future composer." "Iola!" "Suárez!" "EmiIio?" "It's been a Iong time." "You remembered your friends." "I've got to talk to you." "Coming." "What is it?" "I've come to take LoIa away." "How do you plan to do that?" "I won't just give her away." "And if this rat ever touches her again, I'II kill her." "Who are you going to kill, you bastard!" "You shut up, woman!" "You're not taking her away just like that." "If you want her..." "Then don't come shouting and bullying around here." "Iola's not leaving here!" "If you don't shut the fuck up I'II sell you instead." "Have you got the dough on you?" "Yes..." "The 1,500 you gave me." "tell me something." "What do you want her for?" "I just want her." "I don't know why." "What's it to you?" "I just don't like cheating on anybody." "We have others in much better shape." "But whatever, if you've set your heart on LoIa," "and if MatiIde agrees..." "Hey, girl?" "You decide." "If you want her, she stays." "If you let her go, the money is yours." "Come on... take it." "Hey, kid, kid..." "Iola's no Ionger what she used to be." "She's really gone downhill since you sold her." "You didn't tell her, right?" "No, I didn't tell her a thing." "I'm telling you so that you know." "I know." "I know what I've done." "No, I'm telling you so you know what you're getting." "The other stuff is your business, asshole." "This place is charming, isn't it?" "With a touch of nostalgia..." "Admit you're smoking again." "Just buy your own and kill yourself slowly." "You've known each other for a Iong time." "Vera was nineteen." "I was teaching on a summer course and we got involved." "Then she started showing me what she wrote." "And since I make a living out of other people's talent..." "And you'II publish what she's writing." "well, I asked her to write a text for a book of photos... but now it seems she's writing a novel, right?" "What will be the title?" "I've no idea. "LoIa's Price"" "or "The Whore and the whale", something like that." "To the new novel." "It'II sell much better than the other one." "To LoIa and EmiIio." "I'd give my soul to dance like her." "Because my body is already..." "They want me to do some more tests." "Do you know what the sentry ganglion is?" "The warning." "Those tests are to make sure other parts of the body are fine." "I'm not a doctor, but I think you should do as they say." "I think the old man wants to dedicate the next one to you." "Two pesos for going to bed, four for the night." "You don't get in here without paying." "Where's your token?" "You don't get in here without paying." "You pretended you knew nothing, as you didn't work here any more." "I said nothing, went and paid my token." "So you'd let me in." "At least... that night." "Even though it was the last." "The whales could be heard really close, as if they were calling." "Sorry." "I just wanted to tell you that the bar is closed and I've found someone to take me to Puerto Madryn." "Aren't you staying the night?" "There's always a second chance, right?" "Sometimes it helps to say goodbye." "But I'm too drunk." "I'd rather go to my hotel." "You won't even do me a favour?" "You won't even try?" "Let's pretend you're a travelling salesman." "You come to my door... and tell me you need to take a leak." "But you're not you." "He's a dirty old man, right?" "Even if he has your face." "Vera, stop it." "If you want to fuck, then fuck somebody else." "My flight leaves at nine." "If you want, you can still make it to the appointment with Dr. Zimmerman." "I'II be at the airport." "Leave some money." "I'm as broke as a whore during Lent." "Yet again, you're giving up without a fight, Jordi." "You're still the same..." "The same what?" "Do you know what's happened to me all these years?" "Nothing at all." "Sometimes I just want to talk, shout out... because you can't hear a thing in those filthy bars." "And I hear myself saying the same old things." "only I'm older." "But you're lucky." "I hope I'd get to say the same one day." "You're going to bury us all." "You're no Ionger the girl I seduced." "You've turned into quite a woman." "alright." "Let me go." "Let me go." "I'm the same old guy I always was." "Take your clothes off." "We don't have all night." "We have a lifetime." "We'II leave tomorrow." "I just wanted to be with you." "Aren't you going to ask me what I want?" "You want to leave, don't you?" "Yes, but you haven't asked me." "please, forgive me." "I'II never forgive myself." "I've missed you." "I've had a terrible time here." "I, on the other hand, had a wonderful time here." "l needed to be alone." "I needed to be alone." "But being alone in Tierra del Fuego is frightening." "You come to realize what you really want." "You realize what you want." "And I want you, I want to be with you." "What do I care what happens to you when you're far away from here?" "What the hell do I care what happens to you when you're far away from here?" "You just want what you don't have." "And you don't have the balls to look after what you have." "And you don't have the balls to look after what you have." "Look at yourself." "Now you're here and you don't even want to do it." "What do you expect, when you treat me the way a whore would." "That's what I am!" "Thanks to you!" "l want to see them." "What?" "The 1,500 pesos I cost you." "I want to see them!" "MatiIde's got them." "I don't know what's worse, buying me or selling me." "I don't know what's worse, buying me or selling me." "You're still the same." "The same, what?" "You're not a man..." "You're not a man..." "You don't know what you want." "At least I do as I please." "Sure, you do as you please." "Are we talking about my pleasure or Suarez' pleasure?" "You don't know who you are unless someone is stroking you." "Shut up." "And with just a bit of stroking, you spread your legs." "You think you do as you please but you're just here for other people's pleasure." "And that's being a whore, right?" "And that's being a whore, right?" "I'm not a whore because you sold me." "You sold me as a whore." "I didn't say that." "Don't you touch me!" "Do you know what I wondered when I was far away?" "Who are you" "when nobody's looking at you?" "We're going to take MatiIde out to sea." "Ernesto's asking if you want to come with us." "I got you out of bed." "No way." "I was writing." "I think I found it." "Your novel?" "Yes." "And when your father called at my door..." "I thought he was going to tell me the whale had gone." "Another hunch?" "Or better still, that she'd gone again." "shall we go and see?" "Why not?" "We're going that way." "You slept a while, and I stayed looking at you for the rest of the night." "When Pibe Pedro knocked on he door to take us to the plane, you opened your eyes and looked at me as if I were a stranger." "As dawn was breaking and we took off, I could see the whale near the sandbar." "With the sure instinct of animals, as if time didn't exist, it headed for a specific spot in the middle of the sea." "I'm worth more than 1,500 pesos." "Listen, you." "Don't be stupid!" "Don't mistake value for price." "I'm not free because they let me go." "I'm free because I was born that way." "Even though I've only been here for other people's pleasure." "Isn't that right Suarez?" "You really saw through me... even if you're a blind bastard." "Beat it, girl." "And now what?" "I told seal to follow the whale." "You tell me where to stop..." "And we'II throw the ashes into the water, alright?" "I'II throw you in, if you don't tell me the story." "I didn't even tell Suarez." "You're Suarez now." "You're no Ionger a boy, pops." "And me neither." "My old man never tells." "He's been like that all his life." "When my grandfather told his stories... my dad would leave so as not to have listen to them." "Do you feel okay, GaIIega?" "You shouldn't be doing this." "Take your clothes off, so you don't get..." "I can do as I please!" "Don't treat me like I was ill." "But you are ill." "I forget too at times, but you're ill." "I'm okay." "I'm just a little dizzy." "It's not my fault." "Some things just happen." "Forgive me." "I don't know what I'm saying." "Say whatever you Iike... but don't say you're sorry." "Today your father reminded me of mine." "AII the things we never said to each other." "AII my Iife I've blamed him for everything." "What you say is true." "Of course I'm ill." "It's a relief to hear you say it." "I don't know what you were like before." "But you're beautiful." "So you're leaving tomorrow morning." "I do as I please." "Like LoIa, she finally finds out what she wants." "One day I'II find your novel in a bookstore, and I'II know you're okay." "will you buy it?" "Yes." "And will you read it?" "Yes." "Then I'II write it." "Is it here?" "The airstrip was over there." "They came this way... and circled over the whales." "We stayed over there." "whales!" "Iola!" "Give me your hand." "Give me your hand!" "Gringo!" "level the plane!" "Gringo!" "level it, God damn it!" "Iola!" "Take a photo of me!" "Take a photo of me!" "And then the plane went on with its joumey." "And the Gringo... never came back." "Can you still see them?" "Yes..." "They're making circles above the whales." "After some time MatiIde started telling me... that I'd made all this up." "And that if I ever told Suarez..." "She'd say I'm a liar." "And Suarez... never found out." "I can hardly see what I'm writing." "Bullets are falling like shooting stars." "And I make the same wishes as I always did." "Here, at war, while I wait for my tum to come I take pictures of death every day." "She's playing hard to get because she knows I'm waiting for her." "Be patient." "I won't be long."