"Hey!" "Coach Marty Daniels from Blue Mountain State here." "When I'm not winning national championships," "I like to eat at Greg James' Chicken Shack." "Take it from me, these guys know chicken." "They know how to bread it, fry it, and put it in a family fun bucket." "What could be better?" "They've got breasts." "They've got legs." "They've got wings." "So come on down to Greg James' Chicken Shack on Route 34." "They take good care of you here." "Do you see..." "Is that what I think it is?" "Look at that." "This is Coach Daniels' house?" " Yeah." "This can't be right." "No, yeah, this is what $4 million a year buys you." "Look." "A basketball court over there, a tennis court over here." "I should be a coach, huh?" "I'm gonna have a house like this someday." "Yeah, man." "When we do the coaching..." "Red back!" "Ow, that stings." "Ow, that stings." "Ow, that stings." "You know what?" "Why don't you hit the road, mascot?" "This is a team party." "Last time I checked, Bodie, you weren't on the team." "That's why they call it the practice squad." "Okay, practice squad, shmactice squad." "I am part of this team, and one day" "I'm gonna run out on that field, dressed in the blue and orange, just like you." "He just spit in my beer!" "God, that guy sucks." "Hey, good to see you." "Thanks for coming." "How you doing?" "Good to see..." "Marty!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Great cookout!" "The boosters really appreciate you having us over like this." "Well, glad you could make it, Greg." "Hey." "Oh, before I forget, I got that check for the Chicken Shack spot you did for me." "I figured since I was going to be seeing you, I'd just give it to you myself." "I put a little extra in there for you." "Why's that?" "Well, it's my son, Bodie's, senior year." "You know, he's been on your practice squad for four years now." "Red back!" "Whoo!" "In your face!" "You know, it'd just be great if you let him dress for a game this season." "We got a really tough part of our schedule coming up, but I'm gonna think about it." "You know, Coach, far be it from me to meddle." "I'm just trying to be your friend here, but after that shitty season you had last year," "I think you can use all the friends you can get." "Am I right?" "So you do think about it." "And, hey, thanks again for the barbecue." "Yeah." "When I go pro next year, I'm going to have a house 50 times this size just to hold my fur coats and Corvettes." "Man, you're gonna look so good in a fur coat." "Tell me something I don't know." "You know who really has it made?" "The butlers." "Look at them there with their fancy ties, and their fancy drink, and their fancy house." "They work for the catering company." "Drink, sir?" "Thank you, your majesty." "Man, we need to be living like this!" "Coach is making all this money off of us and we ain't getting nothing." "Man, I want some butlers." "How can you guys be complaining right now?" "This is perfect!" "And if you want nice stuff, that's easy, just get an agent." "I already got an agent." "No, I can't get an agent." "I already got busted when I was in high school for getting free karate lessons." "Yeah." "Ever since then, they been watching me like a hawk." "Karate lessons?" "Yeah, man, I can chop a perpetrator in half." "Hi-yah!" "That's pretty good." "So then you just Reggie Bush it." "You get a go-between to talk to the agents for you." "I mean, I could do it." "We'll put everything in Sammy's name so that it doesn't get traced back to either one of us." "Sounds good to me." "Wait, hold on." "What's in it for you?" "I'm just looking out for my quarterback." "Mmm-hmm." "And if I happen to get a new car at the end of the day, then so be it." "Hey, I need $40 from each of you to reimburse Coach for the food and drinks." "Man!" "I don't even have a job!" "Sorry, fellas." "NCAA rules." "So are you in?" "Shit, yeah, I'm in." "Okay, so here's the plan." "We're going to create a small bidding war for Radon." "Two agents only." "We're gonna give them Radon's list, and then ask for something for ourselves." "Motorcycles." "No, too big." "Don't want to draw attention." "Mini-motorcycles?" "Yeah, maybe, yeah." "I love those." "They go..." "Anyway, the bottom line is the guy who comes through for us wins the Radon sweepstakes." "Right." "There's the first guy right there." "Let's go." "Mr. Lavey." "I'm Alex." "This is Sammy." "Great." "That's great." "I love it." "Nice to meet you, boys." "So who is ready to talk Radon?" "We are." "This is a list of his initial requests." "Great, that's great." "They're all doable." "Of course, I'm gonna need something in writing first." "Mr. Lavey, don't insult us, okay?" "Look, we've got guys lining up to get in with Radon." "If you're not willing to play ball, there are plenty of other agents who are just waiting for the chance." "I'm not in business to lose money, I'm in it to make money, and you tell him..." "Now if you'll excuse us, our 12:30 is here." "Good day, sir." "Blue 18." "Blue 18." "Set, hut!" "Boom!" "How do you like them apples, bitch?" "Yeah!" "Nice hit, Bodie!" "You gotta love that heart, Coach, huh?" "What the hell is wrong with you, man?" "This is practice!" "We're talking about practice, man!" "If you had half the heart that I have, you'd be a star." "You don't think I'm a star?" "Hey!" "Listen, your job is to get the shit kicked out of you every day." "You hit my starting quarterback like that again," "I'll kick the shit out of you." "Do you understand me?" "Coach, I'm five-foot-nothing, and I weigh 100 and nothing, and I am out there day after day competing with the best football team in the nation." "That deserves a little respect." "Oh, and if you touch me again, my dad will sue you." "Hey, whose watch is this?" "It's my watch, man." "Moran hooked me up." "Why are you wearing two watches?" "'Cause, man, one's for Paris and one's for New York." "Moran, I want in on this." "My agent sucks." "I'm not taking new clients at this time." "He knows the time in Paris." "Hook your captain up." "Fine, I'll do it, but you have to open my beers for the rest of the season." "Deal." "Hut!" "Bodie!" "Bodie!" "Bodie!" "Bodie!" "Bodie!" "Bodie!" "That's my boy!" "I hate that kid." "We're gonna go inside." "We're gonna go outside." "Inside, outside!" "We're gonna get them on the run, boys." "And then when we got 'em on the run, we're not gonna stop." "They can't lick us." "What do you say, men?" "Everybody hates you!" "Jeez!" "Hey, man, what?" "You trying to one-up me?" "I don't know." "Am I?" "Moran got me these." "I'm doing Paris, New York, and Boston." "Did he get you one of these?" "Is that gold?" "Yeah." "There's no better feeling then gold rubbing against your balls." "I've been saying that for years." "Moran, I'm gonna need one of those." "But way bigger!" "That's funny because I don't have a beer in my hand." "I got one." "I got one." "Here you go." "There you go." "Hey, Moran, you know what would really kick ass?" "If you all marched into Coach Daniels' office and you laid down your jerseys for me so I can dress in your place on Saturday." "Well, come on, you assholes!" "Oh, God!" "There he is." "Just the guy I'm looking for." "Thanks for meeting with me." "No problem." "Where's Alex?" "He couldn't make it." "It's just me and you, sport." "Can we get this guy a cupcake?" "Wow, thanks." "Hey, when you're happy, I'm happy." "Which brings me to why I brought you here." "Scully, I want to know what I can do for you." "It's Sammy." "And what do you mean?" "I mean, in a few years, Alex and all of your football buddies, they're all gonna be pro-athlete millionaires." "You've gotta start thinking about where that leaves you." "Yeah, well, Alex isn't going pro." "He wants to be a gym teacher." "A gym teacher?" "Yeah." "Trust me, Skippy." "When that million-dollar contract is staring Alex in the face, he's going pro." "And you are gonna be left in the rear-view mirror." "See, guys like us, we've gotta make our money when we can." "You stick with me and in four years you could be living in a house made of gold." "Do they even make those?" "Shit, yeah, if you're rich enough." "But what I need from you first are written promises from Thad and Radon." "You get me those promises and I'll get you anything you want." "Anything that I want?" "Yes!" "Yes." "This is amazing." "It looks just like me." "Hey, man." "I want one of those." "Whatever you do, do not get him one of these." "Listen, before I do anything, I need you guys to sign these papers, okay?" "It's proof of delivery." "No big deal." "Don't even bother reading it." "You just said the magic words, "No reading."" "Hey!" "Alex." "I hear you're a guy who can get stuff." "You heard wrong, Bodie." "Hey, don't be an asshole, asshole." "You know what?" "I've given four years to making you idiots better players, and they won't even let me into the party." "You know what?" "If you had half the heart that I have, we'd be stars by now." "Yeah, got it." "No." "Hey, you know what?" "You jerks have messed with the wrong champion." "I want what's mine!" "Holy shit, you look great." "Alex!" "Buddy!" "How you doing, huh?" "You see that Mustang outside?" "It's yours, all right?" "Consider it an early birthday present." "Sammy, what is going on here?" "Shit, man." "I've been meaning to talk to you about this, all right?" "You're out." "You're out." "Out of what?" "Out of all this, okay?" "It's a little too risky for you." "People at the diner are starting to talk, all right." "You got a pro career to worry about." "You don't need this." "Wait, wait." "You went to the diner without me?" "I had a couple of cupcakes." "It doesn't matter." "What matters is I'm running the operation now, all right?" "Everyone's happy." "Everyone's making money." "But you're still out, okay?" "Hey, we need to talk about some tanning beds, man." "Take your goddamn hands off my shoulder!" "I'm talking to somebody here." "All right, you got it, man." "You the man." "Sammy, these guys are pros." "I don't think you realize what you're involved in here." "Coming at you live from the Goat House." "We'd like to thank Sammy Cacciatore for throwing this little shindig for us tonight." "Yo, Alex, that's me, okay?" "I gotta run." "Stop asking questions and just enjoy yourself, all right?" "Get this guy a White Russian." "Shit!" "Oh, yay." "Thanks." "You see how the I-back goes in motion?" "They always come back..." "Marty, we need to talk." "No, we don't." "Bodie is dressing on Saturday or we're going to the media." "Yeah, either I'm dressing or I'm singing." "It's your choice." "Singing about what?" "Your players have been taking illegal gifts from this gentleman." "That's bullshit." "They hustled me and countless others." "But they forgot the first rule of hustling, never ever put anything in writing." "So what's it gonna be, Coach?" "It'd be a shame to see you stripped of all those wins and titles." "That's great." "Great." "Oh, and when Thad and Radon become eligible, you will deliver them to me." "Get the hell out of my locker room." "Oh, I'm dressing, Coach." "Get the hell out of here, all of ya!" "Who the hell is Sammy Cacciatore?" "Well, look who woke up." "Where am I?" "You're in the lion's den, my friend." "I'm real thirsty." "Get him something to drink." "Yeah, and a cupcake, too." "Hey, Alex." "Sammy, did Thad and Radon sign papers saying they'd go with agents?" "Only like six or seven." "I kept it small." "Damn it, Sammy." "It's paper and ink." "It don't mean nothing." "Listen to me, you little shit." "I spent 20 years building this team." "And I'm not gonna lose it because of some cheap punk like you." "Cheap punks don't wear $50,000 watches, old man." "I mean, is that necessary?" "Shut up!" "Now, every illegal item that was given to my players are in his name, and you're being named personally by these agents, Moran." "Now, tomorrow I'm gonna stand before the media, and explain to them exactly what I know." "And what I know is that you two are solely responsible for this." "Now, you're gonna hand in your uniforms, apologize, and that's gonna be the end of this." "Sammy, why'd you do it?" "We had such a good thing going." "Why?" "The power, Alex." "The power." "And the little motorcycle, too." "Right." "Hey, man, if you're off the team, then who's gonna be my problem-solver?" "Bro, you can buy your own now." "Hey, I've worked just hard enough to get to where I am right now, and I'm not giving that up." "Now I have a plan, but it might require you guys having to give up some of your stuff." "No, absolutely not." "Look, if I go down, all this stuff goes away anyway." "So if we do it my way, then you might be able to keep the fur coats." "Oh, man!" "Yeah, come in." "Coach?" "I want Bodie to dress in my place for the game on Saturday." "Don't be ridiculous." "Hey, you're the team captain, act like it." "I believe I am, Coach." "Me too, Coach." "I want Bodie to dress in my place." "You do?" "What's wrong with you?" "Hey!" "Are you freakin' kidding me?" "What is this?" "What's going on here?" "Coach, hear me out." "Here you go." "I'm dressing Saturday?" "Oh, yeah!" "Not only that, but you're starting." "I love you, Dad." "I love you, Son!" "I'm sorry it had to be like this, Marty, but I am glad you came to your senses." "What can I say, Greg?" "You got me." "I sure did!" "Bodie!" "Bodie!" "Bodie!" "Yeah!" "Ladies and gentlemen of the press, thank you for coming here today." "It's come to my attention that the BMS football program has committed major NCAA rule violations." "Now these violations are in no way, shape, or form unique to our program." "They happen at almost all major schools every year, but they are serious nonetheless." "And once I was made aware that it was happening under my roof," "I immediately launched an internal investigation." "During which we discovered we had a student-athlete who was receiving improper payments and benefits from a large number of predatory agents." "I and my coaching staff took immediate action and plucked that bad seed from our team." "His name is Bodie James." "And I assure you, we at BMS have taken the difficult, yet necessary steps, to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again." "Thank you." "And go Goats." "One, two..." "Three!" "You really almost screwed us back there." "You know that, right?" "Yeah." "Thanks for the rescue." "Can't get rid of us that easily." "Man, I'm gonna miss that bike." "I got a way you might be able to get over it." "My God!" "How'd you get to keep it?" "I put it in my father's name." "Why didn't I think of that?" "'Cause your father's an asshole." "He wouldn't let you." "That's true." "My father is an asshole." "Let's go for a ride." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Yeah!" "Woo-hoo!" "Tonight's episode featured music by Rev Theory."