"You know, you really don't have to squeeze them that hard." "He's right." "It's probably why she kicked you." "Cows are very sensitive." "Never again." "I'm not cut out for farm work." "I like my milk in a bottle, or a cow with a special sauce, pickles, cheese, onions..." "On a sesame seed bun." "Well, it looks like another abandoned world, kids." "Well, we're only here for eight hours." "That's long enough for me." "Well, there's no population problem." "You guys ever been to an abandoned world before?" "It happens." "It's usually not that good." "Usually it's not abandoned." "Hey!" "Excuse me?" "Ma'am?" "Excuse me?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Story of my life." "Hi..." "Oh, goodbye!" "What, is this a Michael Jackson video?" "Whoa!" "Guys, why don't we head to the Chandler?" "Good idea." "Yeah." "Where's Wes Craven?" "Oh, what is this, Scream 3?" "Let's see if they got a room." "What if you found a portal to a parallel universe?" "What if you could slide into a thousand different worlds where it's the same year and you're the same person, but everything else is different?" "And what if you can't find your way home?" "Wow." "Whatever those things were out there they didn't follow us in." "How did we get in here?" "Through the door, I guess." "Well, did you open it?" "Good afternoon and welcome to the Chandler Resort Spa." "My name is Archibald Chandler, founder, owner, manager." "Wait a minute, all of those hotels." "I never knew that there was a Chandler." "We'd love a room for the night." "We're just passing through." "Oh, your usual suite is ready for you." "And as for just passing through, well, we shall see." "Our usual suite?" "1215, Mr. Brown." "You'll find your mini-bar stocked with your favorite soda." "Miss Beckett, I'm sure you'll appreciate the wardrobe that's been selected for you." "It's all in your suite." "And there is a full array of athletic activities and complete equipment, so that you, Mr. Mallory and your brother, should have no trouble in staying in peak condition." "Wait a minute." "How do you know us?" "Oh, my hotel has a very sophisticated computer system." "This is all fine and dandy." "But we're just a little short on cash." "If we could just get a simple room." "No, I wouldn't hear of it." "Besides, your cash is no good here." "You mean everything's free?" "Nothing in life is free, Miss Beckett, but there is no charge for your room and service in this hotel." "At least not in the traditional sense." "Now, here is a copy of the schedule of the week's activities and on the back you will find a list of our rules and regulations." "We can't run a hotel without rules and regulations, now can we?" "Enjoy your stay at the Chandler." "Thank you." "What the devil is going on?" "Okay, there's no charge, but nothing is free." "What does that mean?" "I don't care how sophisticated his computer system is." "He knows too much about us." "Well, let's see if the bar is free." "I could really use a drink." "Your usuals?" "You know what we want?" "Of course." "Maybe you've been here before." "Oh, no, I was thinking about that." "I think we would remember if we met Mr. Chandler." "Okay, here are the rules." ""Proper dress and decorum in all public places." ""No belts with suspenders." ""No bow ties, no hats. "" "Pretty specific dress code." ""No bouffant hairdos for the ladies. "" "Fine with me." ""No blue eye shadow. "" "What?" "Okay, come on." "These aren't rules, these are pet peeves." "What kind of a place is this?" "Oh!" "Almost forgot the umbrella there, Mr. Mallory." "Hey, buddy, let me ask you something." "Hey, call me Jake!" "Okay, Jake." "Before we came in here, outside, there were people walking around." "People?" "More like zombies." "Oh!" "Yes." "The empties." "We call them the empties." "Nothing up here, get it?" "Nasty things." "But don't worry about them." "What happened to them?" "Who knows?" "But don't worry." "They won't come in here." "Mr. Chandler has very strict rules." "Check this out." ""Do not pop your knuckles." ""Do not use the phrase," ""'Yes, but it's dry heat. "'" "Mr. Chandler has very high standards." "Well, there's a guy who's not abiding by the rules." "Where?" "There was a little guy right there." "He had a black bag." "Quinn, you're supposed to finish your beer before you start hallucinating." "Oh, come on." "Look, I have no objections to a few rules." "You know, keeping everything running right." "But this one I just can't go along with." ""No singing in public places. "" "Look, I used to make a pretty good living doing that." "Actually, that's one of the biggies." "Mr. Chandler has perfect pitch and if a singer is just slightly off-key, it's like nails on a blackboard to him." "So..." "Well, I've got perfect pitch." "I mean, check this out." "No, no, look..." "Who's gonna stop me?" "No." "Cry like a man" "Mr. Brown, please!" "Hard as I can" "Rembrandt!" "Remmy?" "Remmy, you all right?" "Remmy, what's wrong?" "Just lost my breath there for a minute." "Well, let's get him up to the room, okay?" "Yeah." "You should lie down." "Come on." "Wow!" "They weren't kidding about wardrobe." "Look at this." "Remmy, you okay?" "Yeah, yeah." "I think so." "It felt like somebody had their hands around my throat." "Guys, check this out." "I had a dream." "A dream that advanced technology was the key to a peaceful existence." "And now, the result is all around you." "Here in the Chandler Resort every desire and need is met." "No crime." "No violence." "No unhappiness." "No blue eye shadow." "How much time we got?" "A little more than seven hours." "Well, at least we'll look sharp." "Yeah." "Well, there's something not right about it." "Everybody in here is perfect." "Everybody out there is empty." "Look." "Walled up." "They don't want us to see outside?" "Or anyone to see in." "Hey, Remmy, do you remember where the roof is?" "Yeah, if it's the same as always." "Well, we better go check it out." "You two wait here." "Okay." "Why don't you keep an eye out down here?" "Give me a shout if anybody's going up." "I see you're still curious about the outside world." "Of course, it's not really there." "Well, at least it's there." "Somewhere out there." "But what you see now is what I let you see." "Are you sure you want to see it?" "Take these and look down there." "Oh, my God." "That thing out there looks like me." "What is this place?" "Look, why don't we talk in my office?" "Nothing in this hotel is real." "I should have known that you, of all people, would pick up on my little idea." "Would you take a look at your hand?" "Now, you're a part of the hotel, too." "Hey, Q-Ball!" "What's going on, man?" "Hey, Q-Ball!" "Q" " Ball!" "Damn, where'd the boy go?" "Hey, did Quinn come in here?" "No." "I thought he was with you?" "He was." "He went to check out the situation up on the roof." "I waited for him at the stairs and then I went up and he was gone." "We've got to get out of here." "Where the devil were you?" "I'm not exactly sure." "I'll tell you everything I know on the way, but we have got to go." "What happened to the door?" "All right." "Let's try the back way." "Chandler was up there." "On the roof?" "No." "In his office." "I mean, he was on the roof and then we were in his office." "Hey, folks, where are you going?" "Freaky bartender." "Look, how did you get past me on the stairs?" "I was relocated." "What does that mean?" "I don't understand it very well yet, but I think we're inside of some kind of computer." "What are you talking about?" "This is a hotel." "Hey!" "I missed you." "Want another soda?" "This is way too weird." "Let's try the basement because on some worlds, there's an elevator that goes down to the sidewalk outside." "See you in a minute." "Uh-huh." "How can we be in a computer?" "I mean, we are here, aren't we?" "This is us, right?" "He may be a virtual, and as for us I do not know yet." "What are we doing back here?" "We went downstairs over there but we didn't come up any over here." "Hey!" "Welcome back!" "Somehow this guy Chandler has created an entire virtual environment and we're a part of it." "When I was on the roof, I saw myself." "What?" "Remember what the bartender called an empty?" "Well, I'm pretty sure that I'm one of them." "Actually, I'm pretty sure that we all are." "Only six hours to go." "But is this really the timer?" "And is this really counting down to the slide?" "The real timer could be on my empty, somewhere out there." "Who knows what the real time is?" "I can't be sure of anything." "Q" " Ball, we've been through wars, plagues and all kinds of greatly warped situations." "But this takes the virtual cake." "Are you sure you're not running some kind of fever?" "Your brother's absolutely right." "How you doing?" "I'm Quinn." "The name is Mac." "And the game is staying out of Archibald Chandler's virtual plan." "Can you help us?" "Tell us what's going on around here?" "I probably could." "But not at the moment." "I'll be in touch." "I couldn't help noticing that you had to satisfy yourselves there was no way out." "Yeah, well, we'll find a way out." "You could bet on that." "Well, no one ever has." "No one ever will." "Now, why don't you just accept that and enjoy what we do have here." "Well, I see that two of you at least have taken advantage of the amenities." "Absolutely charming, Miss Beckett." "I don't know what the game is here yet." "But believe me, we don't want to play." "Well, don't decide that quite yet." "A game may be just what you need." "Now, why don't you join me again in my office, Mr. Mallory?" "Oh, and, please, bring your friends with you." ""Oh, and, please, bring your friends with you. "" "Your friend Quinn is beginning to understand that this hotel is a digital representation." "A very sophisticated computer environment." "Everything you see exists as pure data, not as matter." "Now tell them the good part." "The same thing applies to yourselves." "Meaning what?" "When you made your entrance into the lobby, you were scanned in." "Most of your neural patterns were translated into binary code." "Your bodies were measured and digital models automatically rendered." "You exist in the same way that this hotel exists." "I don't care how or why you built this place but we don't want to stay." "But look around you." "I mean, everyone is happy here." "My friends, this is nothing short of utopia." "My dear, you will never get sick in here, you will never get hurt in here." "You will have an endless wardrobe." "And best of all, you won't age a single day." "Now think what millions would give." "Well, give millions to be in such a perfect place." "So when Quinn saw himself on the roof, he was a..." "An empty." "Exactly." "Oh, you four, you have your empties stumbling around out there, somewhere." "But I don't." "I exist as pure data." "Well, you're quite welcome here." "And if you follow the rules, you can take advantage of any of our services." "But please don't waste your time trying to leave, will you?" "I see that you play chess." "You noticed." "Yes." "It's one of my passions." "Why, do you play?" "Bobby Fischer was my idol." "Oh, well then we might enjoy a game sometime." "Challenging opponents are hard to find." "It'd be my pleasure." "What was that all about?" "Yeah, playing chess with that guy?" "I'm just buying some time." "We gotta find that little guy." "What was his name?" "Mac." "He's got the keyboard." "It could be our only way out of here." "What's going on?" "Where are we?" "You're in the junk directory." "Home of deleted files." "A good place to hide." "And how did we get here?" "He just changed our location to this directory." "Very good." "I put these together from junk I found down here." "So far this is the state of what I like to call my art." "You're not like the others." "You don't even dress like them." "I like to be comfortable." "Besides, I'm just good at staying out of Chandler's way." "I recommend you do the same." "You're just binary code now." "He doesn't like something, he'll just change it to suit him." "Or delete it." "Write over you, you'll be dead." "How can he have that much power?" "We gave it to him." "He created this resort as a haven when the anti-tech movement started a few years back." "I'm a hacker." "People like me needed a place to go." "Place seemed like heaven at first." "So what happened?" "We got lazy." "Like here, it was too easy." "That touch screen of his used to be only be used for emergencies." "Maintenance." "He got so many requests to fix this, change that." "He just started controlling the environment at will." "Decided to make it just the way he wanted it." "That's why all those rules." "Everybody here is afraid to think a bad thought." "Don't tell me he can read minds." "If he wanted to, he could probably be your mind." "He's right." "Think the wrong thing, he might even give you a headache or worse." "So he caused you to choke when you sang." "That's right." "It's a good thing you don't use blue eye shadow." "But you said you were a hacker." "Isn't there something you could do to protect yourself?" "Go offline?" "There is no offline." "Everything is virtual here." "We're just icons." "I pieced this together from the discard file." "It can do a few things, but it can't compare with Chandler's rig." "This is his world, man." "We just live in it the best we can." "Maybe it's time to change that." "Look, I already went head to head with this guy." "I'm not about to make the same mistake." "Well, hey!" "Wait a minute!" "Hang on a second." "We can't go up against him by ourselves." "At least you have the know-how, the technology." "And if you can't make your rig strong enough to fight Chandler, we have somebody who may be able to." "Not a chance." "Trust me." "Just lie low." "And enjoy what's left of your life." "Whoa!" "Wait a minute!" "How are we supposed to get back?" "Just start walking." "All directions lead back to the lobby." "What do we do now?" "Well, at least we got a computer." "Well, can you make it work?" "I think so." "Mr. Chandler loves his little rules and regulations." "Let's see if I can make some changes." "All right, Colin, what do they say now?" ""All men must wear bow ties." ""Blue eye shadow is required." ""Everyone must sing in public places. "" "Give it a shot, Remmy." "Hey, yeah, Rem." "Come on." "No way." "Come on, Remmy." "Come on, Rembrandt." "All right." "All right." "I'm sinking" "In an ocean of tears" "Not bad, huh?" "And I feel like I've been singing for years" "Yeah!" "Take that, Mr. Chandler!" "Yes!" "All right, guys, we've got four hours to figure out a way out of here in time to slide." "None of you is going anywhere." "What's happening?" "I don't know." "I'm stuck." "I can't move my feet." "I see my little friend, Mac, has been in touch with you." "He was only trying to help us." "Mac is a troublemaker but he is fairly harmless." "I let him roam through the junk files simply because it amuses me." "But I had expected better of you." "I was even beginning to like you." "And as for you, when I say no singing, that's exactly what I mean." "Look, you have no right to tell me what to do." "You're choking him!" "He's sorry." "He'll stop singing!" "If you hurt him, so help me God, I will kill..." "This is a peaceful resort." "Violence of any kind is strictly prohibited here." "And you, young lady, no longer have a place here." "And when things have no place here," "I simply delete them." "Maggie." "In fact, none of you belong here." "She's gone." "Where is she?" "You bring her back right now!" "Oh, no, that's not possible." "Well, you'd better make it possible." "Why should I?" "You're all so dreadfully noisy." "He can't." "There's no undelete command in the system." "At least I didn't see it." "Mr. Mallory is quite correct." "If I let you speak, will you promise to behave quietly?" "Mr. Chandler," "I vehemently apologize for our behavior and I promise that we will obey all of your rules from now on." "Now, fellows, this is Mr. Chandler's hotel and there is nothing we can do to change that." "There is nothing we can do to bring Maggie back." "We just have to live with and accept that." "We should do nothing to threaten" "our deletion." "Well spoken, Mr. Mallory." "Very well, you can stay." "But always remember" "I shall be watching you." "Perhaps it's time for that game of chess we discussed." "As you wish." "Very well." "I'll be expecting you." "Have you lost your mind?" "This is the part where my brother always has a plan." "You do have a plan, don't you?" "He didn't kill Maggie because she doesn't exist." "None of us do." "Look, I'm not following you." "But that's not news." "I think I can get her back and get us all back into our bodies." "If I can only get deeper into the system." "Now, this chess game might be my chance for that." "Now, I'm going to distract him while you guys go and find Mac and see if he will help us out." "Come in." "Oh, Mr. Mallory, I'm so glad you could join me." "Would you forgive me for a moment while I just iron out a few glitches?" "So your little world isn't so perfect." "Well, no world is, really." "But this one comes very close." "From time to time any computer will develop little variants." "Sometimes I think this has a mind of its own." "Needs constant maintenance." "Shall we play?" "Now, as you are my guest, why don't you play white?" "Pretty cool." "Traditional opening." "Just wait and see." "Petroff." "Kieseritsky played black." "Paris, 1845." "I would have said 1846." "Pretty ambitious." "Oh, I always think big, Mr. Mallory." "You know, we spoke before of utopia." "Down through the ages, man has tried and failed to create such a thing." "Utopia comes from the Greek, meaning "no place. "" "This perfect world exists simply because it doesn't exist at all." "Almost perfect world." "I would've thought pawn to queen three was a compulsory move there." "I like to work without a net." "Try and talk now." "Boy, Chandler really did a number on you." "That's not all he did." "He deleted Maggie." "I'm sorry." "Try talking now." "What?" "What is this?" "I don't sound anything like this." "Yes." "That's it!" "That's it right there." "Okay." "Yeah." "Would you care for a dish of tea?" "I'm fine." "It is Earl Grey and Ceylon." "A perfect combination." "It was one of the first things I saw to." "You said before that you did not have an empty on the outside world." "In your world, have you heard of a Spanish explorer named Cortez who conquered Mexico?" "Yes." "When Cortez landed in Veracruz, he burned all his ships in the harbor to show his men there was no way back." "I destroyed all my bodily containers when I created this world." "Everything I want, everything I need" "is right here." "You should've seen that, Mr. Mallory." "I saw it." "Quinn's gone to play chess with Chandler." "Do you think we can look in on them?" "Sure." "I don't get this." "It's just a game." "He said he might get a way to get deeper into Chandler's system." "I doubt it." "All his personal files are protected from invasion." "Well, if they can be invaded," "Q" " Ball's the guy that can do it." "Something wrong, Mr. Mallory?" "No, I'm fine." "I was curious about something you have." "It appears to be a timing device of some sort." "How did you know that?" "Oh, I already know a great deal about you and your friends, and, of course, the longer you stay here, the more time I shall have to learn even more." "What's wrong with my brother?" "He's starting to look a little queasy." "It's bound to happen." "Chandler's getting into his mind." "Thanks to you, my timer is no good to anyone." "Like everything else in this world, it's a useless digital representation." "I'm intrigued by its design." "It seems capable of producing a gravitational rift." "Perhaps a rift powerful enough to create and function as a gateway." "Where does it go?" "Hey, Quinn?" "Another star system?" "Another universe perhaps?" "What we do, what we used to do, it's called "sliding. "" "And it is something that you will never, ever be able to do as long as you exist only as data." "Oh, that's where you're wrong, Mr. Mallory." "You see, I can explore those worlds through you." "What are you doing to me?" "I'm downloading your memory, Mr. Mallory." "I shall be able to see everything you've seen." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "You've gotta do something." "Maybe I can write an encryption." "What would that do?" "Lt'll put your files in a code so that Chandler can't get to it." "Just for a time, though." "Eventually, he'll crack the code and we'll be back where we started." "It's better than nothing." "Access denied." "Encrypted file." "Now, let's see if we can get him down here with us." "How much time have we got?" "Not much." "But I'll hold him off as long as I can." "But he's got power on his side." "All right." "Well, we've got to find Maggie." "How?" "I mean, Mac says she's gone." "The entry to the files is right there." "She was deleted less than an hour ago." "She can't be that far." "I'm sorry to bring you from your work but I do need your help." "One of the files has got out of control in the system." "A virus?" "Oh, no, no, nothing like that." "But I do need you to run a search and rein in our new citizens." "Oh, no, not again, Mr. Chandler." "Now let me see." "What icon shall I select?" "How about Thor?" "Thor?" "Do I have to?" "You remember the last time." "Good." "Now go to work, will you?" "Look, if we do find her, how do we know it's Maggie?" "I don't know." "But I'm hoping that we recognize something." "Just keep looking." "Chandler's trying to hack in on our encryption code." "No, you have got to hold him off." "I'm picking up some weird data." "Looks like he's sending someone after us." "Who?" "I'm not sure yet." "But they're awfully big files." "Guys, I found her." "Yeah, that's Maggie." "But what do we do with her?" "Chandler has compressed her." "I need to find a decompression program in here." "Okay." "Okay, I'm getting close." "I'm getting close." "I've got her." "Whoa!" "You look good, Maggie." "What did you do?" "Yeah, Quinn, what did you do?" "I think what happened is that Chandler cracked Rembrandt's code at the same moment" "I was re-digitizing Maggie." "Yeah, so..." "What do we do now?" "Does this mean that Chandler still controls me?" "Not at the moment." "I'll give you a new code." "But time's pretty short in here." "Okay, boy genius, what's the plan?" "No offense, Remmy, but I don't want to go through the rest of my life like this." "I've heard of getting in touch with your feminine side, but this is too much." "All right, I just have to reconfigure Maggie's icon." "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Hold on there, now." "Wait a minute." "Now wait till Quinn figures something out." "Until he does, you just keep your hands to yourself." "I mean, keep your hands off yourself." "What's the matter, Remmy?" "Got some secrets you don't want me to know about?" "Yeah, you doggone straight." "All right." "All right." "All right." "This should do it." "Good to have you back!" "It is good to be back." "No offense, Rem, but I just prefer my own body." "Me too, Maggie!" "Uh-oh!" "What?" "What is it?" "We better find a better place to hide." "Well, what is he doing?" "He's sending Thor and Freya." "A couple of combat action figures." "He calls them from time to time to take care of programs that misbehave." "Well, why wouldn't he just delete us like he did Maggie?" "I guess he just enjoys watching his gangsters beat up on people." "Come on, I've got to find an out-of-the-way directory we can hide in." "No, no, no, no, no." "We can't hide from Chandler forever." "We could try." "I told you, it's crazy to go up against this guy." "No, no, no." "Listen, we have got to go up against this guy." "It's the only chance my friends and I have of getting out of this place." "You are really asking for it." "Me, I'm going undercover." "No, you are coming with us because I need you on that keyboard." "Against Chandler?" "Yes." "There's only one sure way to lose to this guy." "And that is not to fight him." "We gotta do something." "We've gotta help him." "Okay, okay, okay." "Mac, a little help!" "Give him some weapons or something!" "Weapons?" "Okay." "Good." "There." "Sword!" "Okay, I guess I want a hammer." "Oh!" "If he ain't kosher, this ain't gonna stop him." "No, hammer, hammer!" "I only heard "ham. "" "Come on, Thor, you can show them." "Come on, Mac!" "I said, "Hammer," man!" "Rembrandt, you all right?" "Splendid!" "Get him, farm boy, get him!" "Come on, now." "Careful." "Careful." "Colin, watch out!" "Help him!" "Do something!" "I'm going!" "Colin!" "Yes!" "Damn!" "Come on, now." "Yes!" "Damn!" "Right!" "Where did you learn to fight like that?" "Thanks for the sword, Mac." "Yeah, and the ham." "It worked." "Damnation!" "This one is mine!" "Hold on!" "Not yet!" "Get her, Maggie!" "Never the face, bitch!" "Very nice." "I'm not doing it." "Damn!" "Yes!" "Come on." "We gotta get out of here!" "Okay, now, to get us outside and back into our bodies." "There's got to be a way to break this link." "Well, if they want a fight, they're certainly going to get it." "Yeah, baby." "Okay, that should do it." "We'll all be out of here in a second." "What about Chandler?" "Won't he come after us?" "He told me he destroyed his empty." "When I disconnect him here, he's gone for good." "All right." "Checkmate." "Mr. Mallory, you win." "Hey!" "Holy smoke!" "Holy smoke!" "Guys, get up." "Get up, guys!" "Get up!" "Five more minutes, Mom." "No, no, no, we don't have five minutes!" "We slide in seven seconds!" "Get up!" "How did we pass out like that?" "I don't know." "But we almost missed the slide!" "I feel a whole lot better." "Sliding makes me sleepy." "Did you just have a really weird dream?" "Where have I seen those guys before?"