"Corrected by Fingersmaster Enjoy!" "Liberty?" "Mission control." "Requesting lunar orbit status." "Control, this is Liberty." "Touch down in t-minus 20 and counting." "Approaching Terminator line." "Roger that." "Be advised, radio static on the com." "Roger that." "7-10 plus VGX, landing window is up." "Landing vector approved..." "Engage the bay." " Landing is confirmed, Liberty." " Approaching to coordinate Delta." "VGC 7-3-11." "Looking good." "Landing vector optimum." "Touch down in t-minus 12... 11, 10, 9... 8, 7, 6... 5, 4, 3... 2, 1." "Now lets, uh, drop the banners." "Oh, fu..." "Must we?" " The Eagle has landed, baby." " Please, keep that fool off the main frequency." "Are you getting a reading there, Sanders?" "Mission control, I can confirm vast quantities of Helium-3." " The reading are stronger this way." " What?" "You breaking up..." "Please be advices you may be nearing meteor shower..." "Adjust communicate..." "frequency..." "No fucking way!" "Hey, Sand, what you doin' with that thing hopping around over there?" "I thought you were supposed to take some photos of me?" " Washington, have you got a visual on..." " What was that, Houston?" " Hey, Washington, it's Helium-3." " What?" "It's a Helium-3 mine." "Get over here!" "Hey, there's something over here you need to see!" "No!" "Sanders!" "Sanders!" "San...ah!" "Oh, God!" "Houston, Houston!" "Son-of-a-bitch." "I need to get out of here." "I must be trippin'." "In english now." "Where are we from?" " Siegfried!" " The Earth." "And, when did we leave?" " Brunhilda?" " 1945." " And where did we go?" " The dark side of the moon." "Brilliant!" "Don't try to play dumb with me." "It was your bad idea to send those idiots to the moon?" " Talk about disaster." " I'm not to be contrarian madam President but I'm pretty sure it was your idea." "It was my great idea if have they succeeded." "Now it's your stupid idea, got it?" "I didn't hire you for stupid ideas." "I hired you because of your Midas touch." "Now my approval ratings are in the toilet and the election is just weeks..." "You dropped the ball, Vivian!" "You!" "Now, I need a miracle." "Get me a miracle!" "Actually, how was sending those two astronauts to the Moon, supposed to getting me re-elected?" "Exactly?" "We haven't been to the Moon for 50 years." "One of them was black." "Thought it would look good." "Look good how?" "Like I said, one of them was black." "Just think of the opportunity we wasted years ago with that errand boy, Powell, Alan Powell?" " Colin Powell." " That was close." " And where are you going?" " The UN, to do my job." ""The Great Dictator" by Charlie Chaplin." "It is one of the world's most famous short films." "Which illustrates in just 10 minutes, his wish that one day, the entire world that will be held in the great Führer's wise and gentle hands." " Any questions?" " I have a question." "In my classroom we are here to strictly formal manner in addressing one another." "To what do we owe the honor of this visit?" "We captured an earthling." "Your expertise is required." "Hey!" "Sauerkraut, right?" "No, no no!" "I love me some sauerkraut." "And Volkswagen." "Huh..." "Fahrvergnügen." "Hey!" "German words, right?" "You know, it's as if, like..." "Where I come from we speak German too." "You know what I'm sayin'?" "Damn!" "You gonna be sorry you did that, white boy." "You are a knock-out." "How do I get out of here?" "Thanks lady." "Have a nice day." "No, Mr. Subhuman." "That is the air lock..." "No!" "No!" "You might wanna..." "cover up a bit." "All good?" "I would not do if I was you." "Listen to me." "Listen to me!" "I know a lot of important people." "They're very important people." "I even know the President of the United States of America." "Now..." "If you kill me, then that's just a really fucked-up situation." "You know the president of the United States of the Americas?" "Thanks, homie." "I talk to you later, baby." "Question, what is this apparatus?" "Look man, how would I know?" "I'm just a model." " A model what?" "Citizen?" " No man, a model model." "Damn, what's wrong with you two?" "You blind or something?" " Shit, I'm pretty." " Are you part of the shock troops" " before the invasion?" " Invasion?" "Man, you all must be tripping?" "What is your mission?" "Look dude, I just follow the paycheck, you know what I'm saying?" " What is this device?" " That's my kick-ass cellphone" "...and a computer." " What?" "That is not a computer." "This is a computer." "No man." "That's ancient history, homie." "I am telling you once again." "One moment we received conformation that the ship has landed successfully on the moon." "The next, all communications stopped." " As though it had simply vanished." " Or you're hiding something from us?" "Yeah, we are hiding something on the dark side of the moon." "I still find it very difficult to believe that the entire purpose of the mission was to promote your president's re-election." "Well, believe what you like, we had mere senators spend hundreds of millions on campaigns to get elected to dog-shit posts." "But Mr. Secretary, the expenses involved this time only make sense if there was a military purpose." "Okay, let's get this clear." "The United State has no military activity on the Moon." "What about natural resources activity?" "We know how the U.S. sometimes mixes the two up." "Is there any chance that you are looking for Helium-3 up there?" "Helium-3?" "You just made that up, didn't you?" "That's so silly." "I assume these are just preliminary ideas?" "Sir, we have a very small delivery window." " Sir?" " Yes, sir." "Ma'am, and this is all." "Anyone who is not the head of the department, should leave." "You idiots!" "You morons!" "That's an insult to morons." "What is this shit?" "I have a meeting with the President of the United fucking States of America tomorrow fucking morning!" "Not the President of fucking Zambia!" "Not the President of the fucking Janitor's Union!" "But with the president of the fucking country which you just happen to be living in at the fucking moment!" "You pieces of hellacious shit!" "What am I supposed to tell her?" "That my employees are not intelligent enough, to be fucking morons?" "Are you willing to work with the Führer... in the name of the fatherland, stand behind the Wehrmacht." "This decision does not resolve all of us..." "Thank you." "I thought my ears were gonna bleed." "You're welcome." "May I ask what's your name is?" "Washington, James Washington." " What's yours?" " Renate Richter." "It is a pleasure to meet you, Washington." "James Washington." "What's wrong with your skin?" "Come on now, please." "I mean..." "You have met a brother before, right?" " No, I'm an only child." " No, no, I didn't mean like that." "I meant a black man." "No, and this continues to confuse me because you are much blacker when I first encountered you." "Okay girl look, either I'm black or you're blind." "Look, what is going to happen to me?" "I mean, what's with this, this guy that keeps sticking needles in me?" " What about that other angry dude?" " My father's sticking needles into you?" "That freaking scientist guy?" "That's your dad?" "And what about, you know....?" "Mr. Nachrichtenübermittlungs-Oberführer Adler?" " I'm sorry, what?" " Klaus Adler." "He's going to be the next führer." "And my husband." "What?" "You lose a bet or something?" "I mean...." "Look..." "Lucky you." "Actually, lucky him." " I shouldn't even be here." " You cannot leave me tied up like this." " Please do me a favor." " What?" " Play a Nazi." " And what if I don't?" " They will eliminate you." " Oh, great!" "Look..." "Is there a different radio station?" "With the upcoming war..." "He's back." "Okay, mini Mengele." "Hey man, I don't like the look of this." "With the prisoner now being one of us, we will go down to Earth." "He will help us to find more telephone computers." "We return." "And then get the Götterdämmerung flying." " You smell that?" " No." "We don't have time to waste." "Take me to that president of yours." "What?" "The President?" "Come on man, I thought you wanted me to take you to Mac store or something." "You said that you would know that President of these United States of the Americas." "Right, of course." "That President." "May I meet this President too?" "Hey, Miss." "Richter." "Welcome to my planet." " Get the hell out of my property." " We better get out of here!" "Run for it!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Now, hold on there Boss man." "That may not be the sharpest move." "Look, look." "I'll tell you what." "Let me go talk to the brothers." "All right?" "They know me, you know." "I'm one of them." "Are you with me?" "Yeah!" "Now!" "Now you're talking." "All right." "Now." "Wassup?" "I'm serious." "You don't know how good it is to see you all, man." "It's like little Africa up in this bitch." "Come on people." "You all know me." "I know you do." " Washington." " I mean..." "That ain't one of yours, is it?" "Because..." "Ah, look, man." "You ain't got to bring that shit out." "Look man, it's all good." "Look, I'm a peace loving brother, man." "Fuck it, man!" "Yo!" "Yo!" "Are you all right?" "Do I fucking look alright to you Miss crazy fucking Nazi?" "I mean..." "What the hell just happened?" "You know?" "Oh, no mother-effin way!" "What did you sick sons-a-bitches do to me?" " I should've told you." " What?" "That I look like a fucking polar bear?" "You know what?" "You two really, really know how to fuck up a guy's Christmas." "Quiet, you fool!" "What is wrong with you?" "We made you Aryan, you're one of us now." " You should be thanking us." " Thanking you?" "What I should have done is let those brothers come here with their size 15s and put a foot so far up in your ass, you can taste your toe nails for 2 fucking weeks." "Klaus!" "Bring me to your leader, James Washington." "Hey, what the fuck?" "Excuse me." "Get your fucking hands off me, you mother..." " Is she your boss?" " Yes, she's the big cheese." " And she knows the president?" " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "They real tight." "Come on." "You fuckin' animal!" "Do you know who I am, huh?" "Do you?" "You just kidnapped the wrong woman." "The wrong fucking woman." "Oh yeah." "I hope you're having a good time I'm gonna kick your fucking ass." "Excellent." "My turn." "I am Commander Klaus Adler of the 4th Reich." "We are based on the Moon." "I'm told you know the president of these United States of the Americas." "You will take us to that President, because..." " I have a very special present for him." " Him?" "Well, he'll love that." "He just loves presents." "As soon as my mission is accomplished the Nazi invasion force will be called in under my directions and we will end the good times for the bad people." "And just how do you propose to do that?" " We will simply eliminate them." " What?" " Sorry, that is not what we were told..." " Renate, I do not think that you..." "Yeah." "Why not?" "Why don't you tell this fräulein why we're here, just like you keep telling your pupils." "I would love to do that." "You see... the National Socialist Party is the people's party, nothing more." "We wish to return to Earth with our message of peace and unity love through virtue." "And kindness, for example." "We are healthy, in mind and body." "Our spirits are brave and true." "We achieved that because we are strong, disciplined in our cause." "There is simply no belief that can match ours... because peace and unity is the gift we bring to all mankind." " What you and all earthlings need to know..." " Yeah, yeah." "I get it, Hedwig..." "This is good." "This is gonna work." "You, I need." "And you..." "I want." "Alright..." "Let's go meet the president." "Madam President... here is the miracle you asked for." " Who is this man?" " He will lead the campaign troops." "Renate, please..." "This is very simple." "The world is sick... and we are the doctors." "The world has anemic and we are the vitamin." "The world is weary, but we are the strength." "We are here to make the world healthy once again." "With hard work... with honesty, with clarity, with decency." "We are the product of loving mothers and brave fathers." "We are the embodiment of love and bravery." "We are the gift of both God and science." "We are the answer to the question." "We are the promise delivered to all mankind." "For that we raise our hand, to one nation." "We step to the beat of one drum." " We march to the beat of one heart." "...on this world." "We are the people who will carry the children on our shoulders in the same way as our fathers carried us and their fathers carried them." "We are the one people united and strong." "We are the one people with certainty." "Moral certainty." "We are invincible and we have no fear." "Because the truth makes us one." "Hey!" "The moon Nazis are coming." "What's wrong with you people, can't you see?" "Look, I've been there." "I'm telling you." "They've got this whole moon base, they got this whole like space thing goin' on, and they comin' to take over." "Oh, you never listen to this, right?" "Listen now 'cause they comin, they comin'." "They coming to get us all." "Why aren't you guys listening to me?" "I mean..." "Renate." "Washington." "James Washington." " I'm so glad to see you alive." " Is that you?" "Yeah!" "Look I got one!" "This is the bitch that made me white as a fuckin' snowflake." "Come on people, help me!" "Help me!" "I saved your life." "So, you are a formerly dead, black model... who is now suddenly a living white hobo after spending a weekend on the Moon." "Is that correct?" " Yes, that's correct." " Huh, so I was listening." "And you're Neil Armstrong after his sex change operation." "Is that correct?" "No, that is not correct." "You were not listening at all." "My name is Richter." "Renate Richter." "And I tried to save this man's life and I think he's stupid, childish and ungrateful." "Okay." "Ask Miss Moon-Nazi here, was I, or was I not on the dark side of the Moon." "Yes, Mr. James Washington was on the dark side of the Moon." "There, what did I tell you." "I am black, but now I'm white." "I went to the dark side of the moon, but now I'm back." "And the Nazis are coming to kill us all." "And you guys are gonna be so sorry that you didn't listen to me." "Mr. Washington James, why are you so upset and so angry?" " Get lost." " But I do not understand." "I mean..." "We made you white." "We taught you the National Socialist message, about peace and unity." "You people have robbed me of everything." "My race, my identity, my career." "And I'm beginning to think my flipping mind too." "I mean just everything." "Do you know this?" "Yes." "Come on." "Come on in." "I will explain it to you then you'll understand." "You're a one strange broad." "I will give you that." "You know, you'll pay the popcorn." "Man, that was bullshit." "It was..." " It was so long." " Yeah." "They coulda edited it down a bit." "He was mocking the Führer." "I'm getting a sense there's a lot about Nazis you don't know." " But I am a Nazi." " Yeah, I know but you are not like..." "Well, I mean..." "You're not like..." "Well, like them." "A bunch of stupid bullies." "No, I'm sure they're good boys and loyal to the Reich, and their mothers." "Look, they are wearing the symbol of love." " The swastika?" " Yeah." "I have never heard they call it that before." "No, no, no!" "No, no, no!" "What have we got here?" "What we got here, blond hair, blue eyes, nice rack." "Even Hitler would get a hard-on." " I got this." "Look guys, we don't want any trouble." " Why don't you get lost, hobo?" "Look, I got the funniest story to tell you." "Your not gonna believe this..." "Stop that, that is enough." "What she needs is a good war." "A war always make the president popular." "Well, I might be able to help her out there." "How do you mean?" "One word from me, and the invasion from the Moon begins." " You never break character do you?" " No." "I can never be broken." " You smell so good." " The time has come." "I will show you my plans." "Come back here." "Look, look." "I've mapped out some things." "Oh, big fella." "All work and no play?" "Now listen, do you think if I asphyxiate the president... will the troops stand in line with us?" "When I order the moon invasion it will be quietless bloodshed" "After I eliminate the Moon Führer, of course." "Klaus Adler." "So..." "Klaus, is the clown joining us?" "What, did you all buy tickets?" "Okay, so, do you want to introduce me to your friends?" "Get your hooks off me, you crystal knob piece-of-shit!" "I can make this worth your while." "Just please let me go." "I need to tell you that I have nothing to do with you and your plans." "You Nazi piece-of-shit." "He fell for the old one last blow job offer." "God, nazis are stupid." "I commend you on your marksmanship." "Shame." "She was such a nice girl." "Just have to kill her later." "So, it was real?" " All this time." " Never doubt a Nazi, schöne fräulein." "Farwell, fashionista." "I have a planet to conquer." "I will just grab this." "Bye!" "Good luck with the rest of your life." "Unbe-fucking-lievable." "Thank you, Kelly." "Moments ago New York has been under attack." "Witness claim to have seen hundreds of UFO's appearing suddenly over the city and opening fire." "Billy get that!" "Get that!" "Are you getting that?" "Kelly, the craft is at least 60 feet across." "I'm seeing what appears to be weapons of some kind dangling down from the bottom." "Oh my God!" "It's opening fire!" "It's opening fire!" "I'm getting the hell out of here." "There is little information." "But here's what we know at this time." " Ok." "You see, the thing is, that Klaus..." " I know it was you doing." " It's wonderful." " It's wonderful?" "It's brilliant." "I'm a wartime president now." "All presidents who start a war in their first term always get re-elected." "I thought I was gonna have to bomb Australia or something." "But no." "You bring me real..." " Who are these guys anyway?" " Nazis." " From the moon." " Real life Nazis?" "Holy shit, this just keeps getting better and better." "You are a miracle worker babe." "They are the only guys we ever actually managed to beat in a fair fight?" "I'm just like Franklin D. Roosevelt." "Only, you know, I'm not spastic." "I knew you'd be excited." "So, if you're Roosevelt, then who's General Patton or you know, MacArthur?" "Mr Secretary of Defense, do you have any thought on this?" "Send her." " Me?" " Hey you're the miracle worker." "Apparently you dodge bullets too." " I wouldn't know..." " What to wear?" "You will think of something, you always do." "Madam President... ready to face the music?" "It's the space Nazis!" "Take us upstate." "We need to go back to the Moon." "We?" "No, no, no!" "See?" "We rhymes with me." " And ain't going." " You don't get it!" "They have the Götterdämmerung on the Moon." "I couldn't give a good goddamn what they have." "I'm not going back to that place." "No way!" "You want to look like that for the rest of your life?" "Great, now this is my fault." " Let me in." " I am no hero, James." "I need you." "Do you know how to drive this thing?" "Well." "Can't be any different than playing "Wing Commander"." "Let's try..." "I swear we do not have nothing on the Moon." " Japan?" " It is not ours." " China?" " It is not us." "It's bloody well not ours." " I confess." " Yes, North Korea?" "Confess to what?" "The spaceships are ours." "Our beloved leader designed and built them himself." " What's so funny?" " All right, North Korea." "Sit down." " So, it was you India, I knew that." " No, no!" "This is a sign of peace." " This is the sign of peace." " Just cut it out, you morons!" "These thugs are Nazis and I mean the real McCoy." "They have been hiding out on the Moon just waiting to pounce." "Now my question is, what do you all plan to do about it?" "'Cause we just happen to have a little something up our own sleeve." "And I'm sure you'll be thankful for it." "May I present to you with the Mars exploration ship, The USS George W. Bush." "Good work, take it to Officer Tyler, please." "This is trajectory, what's our status on the orbit window?" "Commander on deck." "The hostile fleet has launched a full scale aerial attack against the United States." "These Zeppelins appear to be carriers and they are operating fully within the thermosphere." "Each of them approximately carrying 200 enemy vessels, and are extremely..." "Hell hath no fury, Herr Adler." "Alright kiddies, let's get this show on the road." "Vivian, you look great." "How is it going up there?" "Madam President, I couldn't be better." "I am packing dozens of megatons of nuclear warheads which I am going to carefully place up Klaus's kraut ass" "...just as soon I get him in my sight." " Carry on, kick butt." "Let's see what that baby can do!" "Working at optimum capacity." "Ammo consumption within tolerance." "We're coming under extremely heavy fire." "We gonna need reinforcement right now." "What the hell is the meaning of this?" "Good day mates." "This is Australian ship, Dundee 01." "Ready to kick ass." "Spitfire reporting in." "Hanging in there W. Canada joining the battle." "This is a direct violation of this nations space treaty that you all signed, every single one of you." "MIR is ready to join the battle." "That was supposed to be destroyed." "This is an outrage, you're all liars, just like my ex ex-husband." " Calm down lady, calm down." " Don't you lady me, Pinko." "Okay, who didn't arm their spaceships?" "Great, great." "That's just great" " You all gave me your word." " But you broke yours." "We always break ours, that's just what we do." "Okay, fine, fine, fine!" "Let just beat shit out of these pricks and talk about the details later." "This is beautiful." " Where the hell are we going?" " To the Götterdämmerung." "I think Klaus will be there." "What did you think of that, Herr Adler?" "Alright, what about this Moon business?" "What do you say we head on over and slap them around a bit?" "Klaus, baby I'm coming to get ya'." " What the hell is this place?" " This is the Götterdämmerung." "It will liberate the Earth." "Actually, it is the biggest war machine ever created by man." " This is the bridge." "That's where I'm going." " I need to find your father, so..." " Where do you think he at?" " I think you will find him over there." "Try to sneak in, and please paralyse the engines." " Or otherwise the earth is destroyed." " Note to self, paralyse the engines." "Got it." "Oh." "No, no no no." " What?" " You be careful." " I mean you know..." " What?" " Because you like me." " Right..." "Oh, come on, a little." "I mean..." "You like me?" "We have a visual on the Nazi fortress, commander." "Obvious and overstated as usually, Klaus." "Alright, everyone, let's get those nukes in action." "I'm declaring this fortress a free-fire-zone." "But Commander, there are women and children down there." "The United States of America does not negotiate with terrorists." " Prime warheads on secondary armament." " Roger that." "Prepare all available ordinance for ground bombardment." "Fire the fucking nukes!" "Nukes away." "Job well done!" "Hey, quack!" "You remember me?" "The Moon spook you turned into a snowflake." "Oh shit, it's alive" "He sure must have the smallest dick in the universe." "Time... to fuck back." "Everyone, take positions around this fat phallus and wait for my command to open fire." " Offensive run confirmed." " Let her rip." "What the fuck?" " Washington, do you hear me?" "Washington?" " Where are you?" " You need to shut down the engines." " I'm working on it." "Shit..." "Congratulations." "High five." "Well, that was disappointing." "Do you think he suffered?" "Even just a little?" "Vivian, I knew you could do it." "You're foxy and salacious, all the way." "Congratulations." " What's Helium-3?" " Helium." "Did you say Helium-3?" "Yes, there is like about 15 to 20 giant towers that appear to be full of this stuff." " That's ours." " It is?" "Why?" "Helium-3 will make the U.S. independent of all energy needs for the next thousand years." "Yes, it's ours." "No, no no." "Hear me out." "Hear me out." "The moon is American soil." "Moon flag, stars and stripes." "Who beat the Moon Nazis?" "We did." "Well, yeah, yeah." "Alright, you help out here and there, but ultimately, it's just like World War II and who won that?" "We did." " You lie." " You don't believe me?" "Watch the movie." "Movies do not lie." "Not the shoes, Jesus." "Vivian, this is the Secretary of Defense." " Defend Helium-3 at all costs." " But against who?" "Against everybody!" "Unfortunately that's the story of revenge." "It's messy." "Never really works out the way you wanted to." "I feel lonely." "The eternal love of God, the love of God into our hearts, or we will burn... burn in hell, burning in eternal damnation." "Renate." "Washington." "You are alive." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "And you're the way you meant to be." "Are you aware that you are kissing a black man?" "I guess you have a lot of work cut out for us." "Corrected by Fingersmaster Hope you enjoyed!"