"And it's in his dialect." "Dialect from Calabria." "anyhow let's see how i can remember." "I was born in December 1891." "My father died the following April." "My mother had to come back to New York City." "She loved New York City." "They opened a shoeshine parlour." "At 23rd street and 7th Avenue." "They got married in 1911." "And a...." "Was it true that...you lost..." "how many children in those 6 years." " Well not a...." " I think it was about three." "it's always in our life that we try to figure out how to make..." "I guess something that I feel between you two, come along and for us it's like a rare thing, something really wonderful between a parent and a child." "from just your presence." "When I think that's the thing I learned most from you so I don't really have..." "and really feel that closeness to my mother but I was always dreamt of it." "I really felt." "your mother is still living?" "Yes she is." "But I..." "I don't know if that will ever break through." "I mean...it will break through I think with me through to other people, rather than back into my history with her." "But.." "we're talking before that.." "It's time to change it" "But then they waited until their children were 14 years old so they could go to the factory and work." "I mean a...i mean a..." "So basically you were really poor." "We were poor." "Oh yea." "My mother used to take home sewing." "And a..." "I was only 7 years old." "but she showed me, how to do some of the sewing underpants." "And I used to sew that...this a a little gushed in the middle of the man's pants, you know like in the middle." "of a between the two legs." "And there's this little..." "little piece that they cannot sew that on the machine" "It's gotta be sewn by hand." "So she showed me how to sew that little thing." "We have to get ready to get to work... and bring it home." "So we'll do 27th street and we used to have to go to... 13th street and 6th avenue." "We carried a...the pants on our head." "And a...we used to bring them home and sew them you know." "And then they have brought them back and then we bring more home." "And then I got older and I had to go to school." "Nobody could beat me in school." "I had to be the first." "And so..." "I had to have the book on here" "And so at the same time she got to wake me up at 5 o'clock in the morning." "to do that then at 8 o'clock because I went ...went to school." "And then I passed school at 13 and a half then she wanted me to go to..." "high school and I said "No mama, I won't be able to pass in high school like this."" "You know to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning." "I can't do it." "I can't study like that." "So I'll go to work and you stop working." "And that's what happened." "And I worked for 48 hours for 3 dollars and a half a week." "I always worked...always worked all my life." "That's it." "And then a..." "I went to work in a chocolate factory when i was 13 until when i was 14." "So they took me in...and I worked there" "And I worked there..." "Let me see now..." "I was there by... we used the paste and the brush and then you took the label and putting it on and stack 'em up, you know." "And then that part of the job was done till I was a and the..." "Do you know the reason why to sew them by hand when I first worked I got a 3 and a half but at that time I got 6 dollars and I asked them for... between 16 and 17 you know between that." "It's not a factory, it's a wholesale and we have... already 12 stores." "Every store on a Monday morning, sends me the report of what they sold last week." "and then on Monday morning I get all those reports and I have to see how much they sold....right and see that they added them right and see that they added them right and we call the bills" "I enter the bill we have the double-entry system and a..." "I make all the cheques out" "I made everything out." "I open the mail in the morning and see what comes in and what doesn't come in." "Hello, it's not a quarter past yet." "a quarter little bit later then." "Because when I went home, it said... it wasn't coming in this morning" "Ron is about to get this time, but he's not here." "Okay, bye-bye" "Good morning everybody." "Hi" "And when I work, I work." "Whether it is for me or anybody else I do my work." "I do not pull around." "I barely saw them get up from where I'm sitting which is bad for me." "And a..." "I just work." "I get in there at 8 o'clock in the morning." "Morning." "How are you?" "I eat my lunch at the desk." "And then I answer the phone." "They don't pick up the phone." "They must love you." "Well I'll show you how much they love me." "Where's the?" "Oh it's there, the birthday cards." "There they are." "It's people like you who will be a wonderful way who adds so much pleasure to ordinary days." "Hello...how come you didn't call me?" "You just got up why?" "Aren't you feeling well?" "Yeah...well I thought, look this is my favorite niece and she hasn't called me." "I have a cold." "I have a bad cold." "Yeah oh sure..." "You know I have to clean the house" "I'm at the bedroom and at the dining room." "I'll leave you into the leaving room in a few minutes." "Yeah." "Okay, I just want to say hello to you." "And..." "Bobby is alright?" "Well." "It's gonna rain and snow tomorrow." "Right." "Well give him my love one when you see him." "And love to you." "Okay then." "Bye-bye." "I did this in 1916." "Did your mother teach you how to do it?" "Yeah, my mother taught me how to crochet." "Oh, but that was after you were married." "Wasn't it?" " 1916." " Yeah." "On and off for a really long time." "Like that." "How about when you using that...using birth control pills?" "No." "Because i haven't used the birth control pills in a long time." "When?" "When you start using it regularly?" "Well, when the first abortion I felt almost like about 9-month cycle." "Afterwards, when I had a contraction 9 months after." "Was that the first pregnancy?" "You never felt anything physical." "symptoms... the long term effect." "A very very long and slow." "That's OK." "How about spleen 4, lung 9, kidney 7,..." "and with a 5?" "or 3...another possibility." "would be... spleen 4, kidney 3, and 5 bladder." "and 3 to 5." "and I also would like... maybe to do...the fire point." "or metal." "to go like that, and then kidney 7." "All right then." "It has a lot to do with the blood." "Why do you think like that?" "Because of the relationship between the fire and metal." "let's see your pulse" "It's really ummm...too bad that it's so far to come here." "And I have to go back so soon." "I'm gonna trying to get back again here." "As soon as possible." "Bring the rest of the family next time." "And it's really shame it's so far." "But the thing I think that's really important is to a.... we got a way to keep them contacts." "This time to be very hard for me to leave." "Well, is that because of the dependency that people has built up to... to your work with them?" "Well, actually I think it in terms of myself, that I like being here so much." "But Brian said yesterday, that this is going to be hard for him too." "I feel it's good though you came this time because now that we're started." "Will be a long...a long way of continuing." "I can't believe that I've learned, I mean this been a powerful thing" "I'd like to be able to continue to work on people together maybe to learn some of your technique." "Because yesterday we really were working together." "But it wasn't so much consciously." "It was just intuitively." " But to understand." " Yeah." "In some ways after working with you, I feel less defined." "I mean coming here it makes me like re-see myself." "And I feel like..." "like I want to be something of a particular sort." "And it makes me appreciate you more, and alters the way I felt it up myself." "Gotta figure out, but to do it with other..." "I bet your sister is pretty tired after been around here all this time." "Yeah, I think so." " Well, let's get this work." " I don't know." "it spends a lot of oil." "And I'm not sure ehh..." "...see to pull it head off." "I got a line of a '62 Chevy which probably better for Amber, Leaf, and I cause be a more space in the back." "And we can try to sleep or everything." "Let's see what else I can check now." "What I have to do." "How long you're gonna be going for?" "'62 is pretty old car you know." "Well, it's in pretty good shape." "I don't know." "We've been pretty restless." "I think maybe we've been on a road for a while." "Maybe stop in medium-sized cities," "See what's going on." "My mom and dad was...was really funny, cause..." "I wasn't really..." "I was hoping to be able to talk to them so much." "On and off, I don't know." "I feel sometimes like I could really" "Oww." "He bit me." "What can you do?" "So I haven't talked." "I mean I can take mother shopping." "But I can't do too much else." "Well, I don't know." "Dad and I have gone for walks some time." "But..." "Martha said when she got homesick one of the thing she miss the most was Nick." "I don't feel it that way." "I've decided that's why people keep on having children." "They're so cute when they're little." "Just like puppies." "Did you know, when mother was having this thing on her head, she has some little...funny thing she's having removed." "I don't know." "She never said it." "Martha told me, and so I faced mother with it, because it seems to me," "I'm never get told on anything until last." "So..." "No...yeah you last!" "Well, I guess it's nothing." "But she's having it done." "We gotta get going." "You should leave us a picture of you." "Do you have a picture?" "Of yourself." " Do you, Ron?" "Errr...not with me." " Not right now." " Will you send me your picture?" " Sure." "Say bye-bye, Nick." "Gonna do your thing." "Gotta kick Willis in the stomach!" " Oh Nick!" " See you, Anne." " All right." "Well." " Take care." " Yeah." "Say maybe I'll write you a letter." "But..." "Oh, so..." "Yeah, it was okay." "But you know what, it just stayed on the surface," "When what I'd really like to get into talking more with her." "And... being able to spend some time and I know she would too." "But we both seem to shy away from it." "Just kinda ends up like a polite visit." "Yes, it's really hard you know, when you just passing through, you know, isolated..." "Yeah, I know that." "it's really frustrating, it's the same as like staying at my parents'." "It's the same way" "It's the same way." "I'd really like to be able to spend time talking with them, and..." "We are not gonna live forever." "You really like to think that you can avoid that kinda traps." "That... instantly, you'd fall into." "I get bummed out, or angry." "Or... just real sad." "And it ends up feeling like a defeat." "Like..." "You'd like to think that you could just have visited people like that." "like old friends, Instead of this whole parental trip." "I've been thinking a lot about that." "Just like you, you know." "Kinda trying to get back to the roots a little bit." "I've really been wondering." " I mean it changes a lot." " Yeah." "I havent seen my folks in 2 or 3 years." "I just gone out of jail, you know..." "for a demonstration." "God, my old man was so furious." "It's incredible." "He took a swing at me right, but I ducked." "And he hit a wall and he broke two fingers." "But what differs is I laughed like crazy, you know." "Whatever happened to Jesse?" "Jesse!" "He's still into junked on and off." "I see him once in a while as we're passing through into town." "And hit me up for a couple of dollars." "I don't know." "I am going to be a grandmother." "That's what I dream, my dream." "the things this kids have lived through." "We've lived through." "For about 20 minutes." "Karen, you live your life." "I never get." "I don't miss the kids." "I talk with Alan a lot." "And he seemed really fine." "That's completely different now." "Since I moved." "We're gonna miss them as people." "I miss seeing them." "But I don't miss me being a mother." "I could never make that division." "I could never make that division, between being the mother of the children and the person who knows the children." "I could never divide myself that way." "Anyway I spoke to Karen." " You want to try some breathing?" " Yeah" "The last time was good." "That's good, that's good." "Now tense this arm up again, tense up." "Tense up." "Okay." "It's still tight." "Still very tight." "Sometimes I think I'm really crazy to trust it." "Now it comes in the communities calling." "Here I am putting all this stress here." "Communities ...that... really responsible to help each other." "Like last year the whole house went to our place in the country together." "It's always really good to be there." "Calm, and beautiful We were beside a stream." "Mariette was looking at us all." "She just said she really felt this time see this future in all of us." "And she felt that the thing that we did, the way that we lived our lives." "15." "Right." "Getting stronger." "Stronger." "Keep it up in the neck." "Keep it up and stronger." " And so what's your feeling before you came?" " I'd really like to come." "Call me." "I hope I can make it." "I hope I can." "I really want you to come." "I'll give you one of these, Karen." "I don't know which one you want." "Oh it's not finished." "Karen's into her life." "These people live their lives." "I'm really beginning to wonder... where is my life?" "Helen, you always telling me stories you told me story about walking on the path in that Vietnamese village." "You had to stand the path because there were unexploded bombs." "I try to think about what is life to be in a village," "In any village," "Much less a village where the bombs were about to explode." "I'll find a way to show that." "Last year, when I was shooting the footage." "There were a terrible flood." "There were awful." "It's just terrible." "Farmers were wiped out for miles." "And people had to work together." "They had to, and they did." "To had to build dams, they had to find blankets, they had to feed people." "Men and women, and kids, old people." "The big shots, and the little dirt farmers." "Everyone." "No one asked who you are, it was great." "It was like home for me." "We ate together, we like each other." "At that time ..." "I had a lot of troubles in my life." "And I stopped thinking about that." "Stopped thinking about myself." "I think it was like that for everybody." "That's what we brought back here." "from Vietnam." "Funny, I'm hearing two examples on both disasters." "Do we need disasters for people to come together?" "The thing about you and disasters is you, you're telling stories, and it doesn't sound like a disaster at all." "They sound very romantic." "OK, romantic." "Romantic, fine." "Okay." "Romantic can mean one of two things." "It may mean "Silly" or "hopeful."" "And to me it means "hopeful", okay?" "The baby is resting on her sciatic nerve." "You did that to me." "You did." "One day I woke up and couldn't move." "That's when you were sitting right on that nerve." "I did not know what to do, so I just went to the movies for eight hours." "I spoke with Karen." "We had this conversation ... two sisters, two mothers, two daughters, shifting ..." "We talked mostly about you." "What could be interesting for both of you about me?" "Did you use to talk about me a lot?" "." "We do a lot, what did we know but we made it up." "We talked a lot anyway." "Thank God." "It's like having a baby..." "It went into choices." "I guess it was a lot harder because I had to make the choice myself." "And I got really scared." "scared about the thought of Larry and I trapped together as a couple, and more dependent than ever because we had a little child." "I think if that was the only choice I had that I would have decided to have an abortion." "But I really feel that there is something different here." "It really feels like a family, We really worked through a lot of problem." "We feel that we're gonna stay together." "I think it has a lot to do with the kids." "Karen's really... wondering why she is going to have this baby." "I mean she's afraid that she's having it because..." "She's afraid of... being alone." "Yes, maybe it's true." "She may have to live through that to..." "to know...to know about that." "You may ask us so...those questions." "I say "we"." "Well, 'we"" "Well, I certainly didn't." "I loved having you two." "Being pregnant has made me think about Helen, my mother." "A lot." "I spent a lot of my recent years trying to get away from her." "Trying to get away from the tricks that I thought she put on me." "And I'm glad I've gone through that." "But in the process I didn't really see what she had to offer me." "And now that I'm pregnant ..." "I really feel the first connection that I felt with her in a long time." "Karen's father was overseas at that time." "Whatever the problem with your father, it was..." "I don't know." "I loved the idea... of having you kids." "And..." "I loved being pregnant, even with the sciatic nerve." "I loved having you." "That's why we were talking about you." "We just tried to imagine what it was like for you to have children." "To have us." "We asked so many questions about..." "And now I really want to understand ... what it was like for her." "It was different, she got married when she was 20, had no any money." "they didn't talk to each very much." "And my father took them to the city as soon as they got married." "So she didn't have any friends either." "Then, like a month after, I was born..." "He was sent out to the Pacific." "and then a year later he was dead." "I keep trying to know what it was like for my mother to be alone," "To have to start a life of her own, to create this life, and raised me ... and my sister Elizabeth." "I can't imagine the terror of that." "Well, you kids are more truthful." "You're in better relation to your feelings." "Really." "You trust them." "There's more a wee way in the society for you to know." "But ... for me there was such a gap between what I really felt ... and what I thought, as a woman, I thought I ought to feel." "That I could have gone crazy." "And a lot of my contemporaries did." "That craziness..." "I mean..." "Sometimes when I tried to explain to people... this choice that I made to leave my children," "they just can't understand, there's no way they can hear it." "To be truthful, I have some of that wall in me too... about that." "But I could never have said the things he said." "I couldn't even thought that." "But you were brought up differently." "By me..." "Yes." "To have your feelings." "What happens to me is I sit here all day long, and I'm looking at your footage and I listen to your stories... and then I get up and then I go home." "You know how I live, I'm not rich, I'm not the people who knows more stuffs, but when I opened the door and I looked in and I see books, records, and I see my clothes, jewelry, cosmetics and the whole thing." "And all my friends were living like that and they were preoccupied with these things, absolutely lives a separate lives." "And i'm really beginning, I dunno..." "I'm afraid." "You have a right to be frightened." "I don't think there is anything more frightening than a private and selfish life." "If my kids were to live like that," "I would be frightened for them." " You see?" " Yes." "I'm listening." "If that was right, okay?" "It's only really in the last few years ... that I've allowed myself to come close to certain truths." "And I think I owe some of that to you and Karen." "After Karen has her baby we should go, the three of us, and the kids, and the dogs, and nobody else." "And then just spend some time together here in my cabin." "Stay together for a while." "It would be nice." "But I have to finish my film." "It's an obsession." "You're the I learned patience from though." "That patience, that's what you learned from me." "I had too much patience." "I'm glad to see you." "I'm so glad to see you." "Let me take this bag." "I'll put it back here." "You're looking terrific." "You really are." "You must have about thousands of things that you are ready to... about to explode outside of you." "Just getting out and stuff." " Were you waiting very long?" " No." "but it took a lot of process to get me out of there." "Everybody all of us are so glad that you're out." "We thought ..." "Do you remember the dinners we used to have?" "We thought we're having it tonight and invite everybody to come to my house." "And we'll have a dinner." "We'll see." "Yes, yes." "I think I have to go very slowly." "I'm glad you came, but ..." "I don't know if I can see a lot of other people right away." " even friends." "It doesn't matter." " Yeah." "Maybe you're gonna feel different tonight." "You know... when you feel this whole around you." "You probably want to split, don't you?" "Let's get out of here." "It's something that i've been thinking about a lot." "about whether you feel resentful towards to me, or towards the rest of us." "Because you're the one who went to the prison." "I don't know." "I feel good about what we did." "We help a lot of deserters to get out of this country." "They were good people." "I liked them." "I'm glad that we did too I like them a lot too." "But ... when I think if it had been me, instead of having a baby ..." "I gone to jail, and would have slept there and being alone and watched my friends drift away, and watched the whole context we did, just melt away." "I think I would feel really pissy about that right now." "I just want to... to feel like it's okay, at least I understand if you're upset." "I did feel angry." "They all seem feel guilty but I was in and they were out." "they didn't come to see me." "Because they were embarassed, because they didn't know what to say." "I don't know if there's any way for you to feel it right now." "Feeling coming from me." "But there is a whole lotta love, that keeps us together." "The whole time you were in jail ... things have fallen apart on the outside too." "We didn't have any organizations left, but there was something that held us together." "What brought us together in the first place and held us together." "I just hope tonight, you can feel it you can feel the love is between us." "In fact the last time you saw me, I was still pregnant." "I was so lucky growing up with Hopi." "and you've been in jail the whole time." "I'm sorry it had to happen, and you've been away for so long and have to come back to this" "Listen I know that this is hard for you to take, but... but you're putting up pretty well on the circumstances." "Things have been much worse for people living in the building." "For instance, it's just this week, Bob and Natalie came back." "The family downstairs, the middle-age they have two kids," "And what if happen if there was a fire up to there?" "In their apartment" "And the fire departments just dressed the water until the new technique they have to putting off the fire." "With a lot of stuffs missing, but I think the important thing is that there is a danger fire tonight." "And I'm worried." "Even if you got a place to stay tonight," "I will give you some of my boxes to keep your valuable things." "I have put so much stuffs in the lot down there," "You could take some space or you could borrow a truck, maybe?" "I have a car." "You could use the car tonight." "Even if you borrow the car, and you can't carry all your stuffs." "But it's important is what you're leaving out look at what you have here." "It's okay." "Listen if you really want me to help you, I can help packing this afternoon." "Thanks." " I think I'm gonna leave it all." " and leave all these stuffs here?" " Yeah." " You're not gonna take anything?" "Maybe this book." "What about this beautiful coat?" "It's all yours." " Come on." "You want these, don't you?" " No." "Really." "Serious." " Anything you want." " What about the books?" "Take them." " You must be taking some of these stuffs." " I know." "They give me three now." "It's important that I get back to my apartment." "Lenny, that's terrific." "But I don't think that I need them." "If you want, I'll take care everything for you tonight." " Anything you want, you can leave at my place." " Lenny, thanks." "Well if you need more boxes, just let me know." "I'm trying to fix some stuffs." "Thank you." "And this scarf?" "Here it is the news time at 8:49." "We want Jan!" "We're talking today with Jan Phillips." "Outside the Dawson Law School." "Jan was recently finished serving 2 years of 5 years sentence." "for conspiracy to transport explosives across state line." "Formerly a practicing lawyer, she was discharged for felony... she's now working at a legal aid... and participating as a speaker recently in a conference on women in prison." "Jan, why did you commit your crime?" "Well, I spent a lot of time to think about that in the last few years." "and seems to me that circumstances propelled me towards that particular action" "It seemed the right thing to do at that time." "But other people seems to be able to carry on and it's all part of the on-going struggle, against the political power that press all of us in this country." "It will continue to carry on this action." "whether I myself take part in that or not" "Jen, you were in the prison for two years," "What do you have against prison?" "Well, prison turns out to be more or less than a junk pile." "for the Third World and poor people this society has no place for." "who has no jobs for, or no education plan, or housing... you can pick up a kid in the street, if he's poor, he doesn't have access... to a political representatives fat." "It will be over soon." "And then there will be the two of you." "prisons only train people to be able to live in prison." "I haven't talked so long." "I really don't know." "After you've been released from prison." "Because then,..." "Thank you very much." "There goes." "back to Mark Pritchard." "I don't think the center of my belief has changed." "But I think I have to ... live with them differently." "I don't know if I can explain it yet." "It's like ..." "I have to... act when I feel it's necessary for me to..." "When there are no other alternatives." "When I can see the way clearly." "I do not want to act anymore..out of a... guilt, or habit." "Or because I learn I ought to." "I'm not sure I understand exactly what are you saying." "When I feel mostly is that there's this things that have to be done." "And we have to do them." "I think I have to work toward what I believe in." "It's a real pressure that I feel constantly." "For myself, I feel I have to... act in a situation that comes up." "Probably what i'm thinking is I got worried sometime." "John has spoken a lot about you." "I know what you've done and I know what you've been through, and I really admire it." "But now it appears, that you're not into that anymore." "And I don't know what you're really thinking about now." "So if you're not into that," "I worry, I question." "I question myself." "I don't think I can assure you." "I mean I worry about myself too." "What is it?" "It is .." "I'll tell you later." "What he was saying before about that pressure." "I finally see myself in this situation all the time when I feel very vulnerable." "Sometimes it's subtle, Sometimes it's not so subtle." "But ... what happens is it makes me much more aware." "of all like the ugly things around me." "And also just the contradictions in my life." "When I feel that guilts around me... the heaviness, the enormous weight that people live with." "Sometimes when I'm trying to describe that pressure, it's sounds like I'm telling people that they are coping out, from saving the world or something." "I really don't mean it to sound like that." "I don't want to imply any guilts." "No I know what you mean." "It keeps a sort of a creeping bag... and again it's there." "It's this base line it seems so often." "Two kids who have been working here ..." "I asked them whether they cleaned up before they were leaving tonight." "And... they didn't know how to answer, because they knew that I can't see." "But at the same time they had to make... they make a choice themselves." "They have to." "And all what I asked them was..." "whether they cleaned up." "You know, you just don't know." "You watched it but you just can't tell whether it means anything to people." "whether it comes out of the box and says anything to real people." "Yeah, I know." "Now I was remembering back..." "Mississippi in 1965." "That has changed so much." "If we ever had access to TV... would have been an incredible accomplishment." "And now... just had our ideas and our attitude." "and the way we come on to people." "It's much more familiar." "It's so..." "I think it is harder to be heard." "Well, maybe people hear it a lot..." "you know." "Because it's being sent, not just by us." "There's people saying things that we say on things we said." "And I don't even know who these people are." " Hello!" " Hey, hi!" "Sorry we're late." " We had a great side-track." " We thought you'd be here an hour ago." "Yeah." "But listen, when you hear where we've been ..." "Don't worry." "First we had dinner." "Such a dinner." "And then we had tea." "But it was after tea that was the great part." "Did I ever say about my friend, Carol?" "Old woman friend, Mrs. Winslow, who reads tea leaves?" " Oh yeah she's fantastic." " What did she tell you?" "Well ..." "Well, she told me that she looked into my cup." "And she saw me sitting there with these three girls." "Sitting around me." "Were they little girls?" "Well she didn't tell me if they were little." "But they are my daughters." "So I got two more to go." " Who are you?" " I'm Karen." "This is Elizabeth's sister." "You're pregnant!" "Hey." "What have you been doing?" " You missed it." " What?" "The greatest TV special of the year." "Yes?" " Actually it wasn't so good." " What are you talking about?" "What was it?" "I was on TV, so that's why I told you're supposed to be here an hour ago." " You were on a Quiz show?" " No!" "Queen for a Day." "She has won a washing machine." "A refrigerator." "You remember that conference?" "The prisons conference." "Yes." "Remember I was interviewed afterwards?" "We just saw that on TV." "And how did u look like?" "I don't know what I look like." "It was good, right?" "It was." "We have to read the reviews in the morning." "Did you bring the graphics?" "Very good, very good." "Let's see." "Beautiful...beautiful." "Good." "Good work." "It's like a little island actually." "A sanity in a man's world." " Now you gonna get the road now and then start." " No!" "We got to hitch-hike." "We don't have enough money." "I want to ride the bus." " Well, we hitch-hiked before." " But the police is gonna take us out." "The police is not going to bother us." "Yes, they are." "We'll just go on ramp." "So they won't come and get us." "We won't go up on the freeways." "You don't have to worry." "Okay." "So here I am, you know and I'm gonna have to try to find another way of feeling about work." "I guess I mean whether your feeling out of place." "But since I stopped teaching and working at the lab." "spend a lot of time with the kids." "Just walking around the city." "There's some changes." "To be so devoted to a work." "And every day I feel... how much you miss working that way." "It is too early to tell." "Sometimes, when I was teaching, not very often at the lab," "What I felt about people, the routine," "keep me busy." "Is that why you're thinking about living with Dylan?" "It's more than that." "Just being open to different experiences." "New stuffs come in." "If it wasn't for Sal, and now and that I don't have to do it alone," "I don't think I'd feel so sure to want Dylan to live with me." "Look at all these empty shells." "See if you find one with large snail in it." "Oh boy..." "Isn't it amazing how different it is now then it was in the summer?" "When we were here the last time." "It's like a cycle ..." "The changes, through the seasons." "You mean a cyclone?" "A cyclone ..." "The animals and the plants do different things in different time of the year." "Like in the winter when everything is really slowed down." "Like all these plants here..." "They are just not doing anything right now." "All the animals are not doing anything either." "Even people ... have to follow that cycle." "Like in the winter you can not do as much as you do in the summer." "Like old Chinese people really knew that." "You know?" "And they told the people to slow down in winter." "We don't hibernate, like bears do." "People don't hibernate!" "Ever!" "No, but they just have to go lot slower than what they do in the summer." "The days are shorter, look at how short the day are now." "But getting longer!" "It's getting longer, because the solstice has already passed." " It's the longest day of the whole year." " It's longer at night." " We don't want to leave yet, do we?" " No." "No we don't." "And we're gonna get warm." "I want to get warm before we leave." "I'm glad we went to the beach today." "Aren't you?" "Yes." "And we have to lit a fire." "So what do you think about Dylan coming to live with us?" "I don't know." "It's hard for me to think about." "So to scare to think of him of not being with me." "But I also wonder about all other people in California whom he's been with." "They really have begun to feel like his fathers and mothers too." "He spent a lot of time with them." "They take care of him." "They really love him." "And..." "I'm not sure ... whether it's our decision alone." "Well I'm not trying to push my right." "But I don't want to be cut out." "I'm trying to be part of the circle of his family." "Some kinda real in a substantial way." "In the way I haven't been able to be for the last 2-3 years." "Yeah, I think that's important." "So what do you think?" "Well," "Some way I feel it's not real for you and I to sit at this table together alone." "And figure it out." "That there too many other people involved." "And maybe a good possibility would be for you to come out there." "and stay for a while." "And we could all work on it together." "maybe you could think about... what kind of school trip Dylan would get into if he were with you." "and be able to have some clear pictures of what you would be coming into." " That's reasonable." " Jimmy, I just..." "I feel like I don't want to undermine all those people." "who have provided us with some real way to have freedom to do what they think." "They are really involved now." "And..." "I don't think it can be the way it used to be." "Just the thing between you and me." "I want it that way too." "But I am his father." "And I have a very special kind of relationship." "I mean I dig other kids too." "But I can't brush away my feelings." "I mean, maybe it's just part of me that I have to try to get on top of." "I feel like it's hard for me too." "Like I still have all the old pulse... to you and Dylan, and me being in a family together." "And I feel a lot of attachments to that." "But I also feel... that ... both of us ... we need the freedom right now... that some other form would provide us." "And that even though it's... important for Dylan to have the strong sense of you as his father." "that we've gotta go with... some explorations, and some other way." "I tell you don't remember that..." "I told you, I was a shop steward." "we got some people gather, my buddies and me and have...an insurgance slate." "we done pretty good, but of course that the Union didn't like it." "The company didn't like it." "and now my position is a little unclear, since we lost that election." "The union wants to get me out of there, but there's nothing they can do, because I'm a member." "So it comes out and turn into grievances." "I lost a lot of case, and suspended time." "Stuff like that, you know." "I remember ..." "I remember around 1970 or so, we kinda made a conscious decision to move out of that crisis-oriented, organizing the university community." "to move into an industrial area so we all picked up and some of us went to Detroit." "led behind on what we thought was the continuing group." "and then we have something to relate to in the context of what we were doing and what they were doing." "and there would be a feedback back and forth, and that worked for a while then it kinda dried up around us." "and left us a little bit isolated." "A kinda semi-isolation set down there in Detroit." "We did a few demonstrations, and we did... put out a paper, and we have a group going." "Somehow it's mostly now and gettin' into working' at the plant." "And being with people." "Alright I'll tell you." "Oh I don't know." "I learned to use the spray gun pretty good I tell you that." "It feels OK." "It's really good to be living around the ranch right now." "I just feel a little restless now..." "I think we really ought to talk on some more about of where we're gonna live." "It just feels really good to be living again in the city." "I know you would, but ..." "She's leaving her home and the people she's been with a lot more and that's how she feels it she feels she can try anything there." "and she has a lot of trusting... but you know what I mean." "What you said?" "I can't quite make it." "A little bit louder." "What I think of most of all... is what that means for Leaf, that change..." "Not only the sudden change from living in the country then moving to the city." "You do it, you do it yourself." "But what it means ... as far as him having kids to playing with every day." "As far as him having big people." "To relate to other than us." "So the pressure isn't on us all the time." "Which means would be good for him and us either." "We can live with a group of people, who would take some kind of responsibility toward Leaf." "There would be some more kids." "And we can find something like that in the city, if we try." "I hope so." "Because it would have to be a really fine place." "You try it." "Well ..." "I think..." "I just feel it that we can find something like that in the city, which have a lots of different group of people," "blacks, or Chicanos," "In which the kind of pressure that we both feel about what's going on in the country." "that we would be in touch with that more." "And that would be good for us and for Leaf." "I think." "For me the most solid thing is fluid thing." "What is happening down there?" "These are crazy people." "It's just gonna make me into taking that steps." "How I've changed in the last few years." "since I've been living in that atmosphere which is giving me that space to... to do a lot of re-learning and..." "I just have to take that steps to get into the city" "Because I know that there's a lot I've been focused on" "I just got to do it." "So ..." "Yeah, I think we can try to do that." "The sun's far out." "Cause I could always run to the hills" "Sounds alright." "You're warming up?" "I'm really getting comfortable." "I want to go to sleep." "Are you really cold?" "How about this?" " Another one boot!" " Another one boot!" "It's okay there." "Watch out." "Yes." "Hey." "I was wondering if you have any work, pumping gas or doing any outside work?" "No, we don't." "We have a crew." "It's really hard getting jobs around here." "We really need money now." "It seems a lot of people looking for a job here." "Lots." "Yes." "Do you know other places where we I can get, work, and check see if they have?" "In the main street, down two blocks," "There is a gas station." "Okay, I'll try there." "Thanks a lot." "After lunch I was having this dream." "The feeling of a gap between what I believe in." "and what my life is like from day to day." "There was some sort of a song, a quote or something." "Maybe from Harriet Tubman." "She was saying..." "I had seen her tears and sighs..." "I heard her groans and I would give every drop of blood in my veins to freedom." "She was saying this..." "She's sort of put on a frame around my life." "Make it work the relationship to the trees have, not just land trees, but fishing rights, mineral rights, et cetera." "To all Indian." "What is this symbolic meaning of how it should be of treaties like this?" "Why was the BIA forming and what has it done to Indian values?" "What kind of Indians work for the BIA, like going to the Public Government?" "This is...ummm I don't know." "What work of system is possible?" "So they can get back the land and sovereignty, what will work?" "This is a phone call from a... a man who worked with Richard Oakes." "He has a film to show." "He'd like to give me the half of first seat of reservation." "Hello, hi!" "No, I don't think so." "It's the first time, in a way that it's the first Kashia Indian preservation in this town." "No, that's what interesting." "It's like, the Indian ghetto had become a part of our lives." "So... we were ignorant of it." "It's really not clear to me." "How it's gonna come off." "Some people are gonna be seeing." "at this movies..." " We haven't seen them." " Which we haven't seen." " We're really responsible at this point" "When John and I were at the reservations, we said that..." "It'd be good if we can come down this afternoon and let's see if we could talk of what was going on, so on the evening they would feel as part of organizing that." "I think we should to..." "tonight like a... call everybody that we have the phone numbers for... and get them to call their friends." "I could see that they are going to be interesting in... sovereignty... the simplest explanation... is freedom." "So we have the Oglala Sioux, who should be conducting their affairs here." "But who now, as the Government has interfered with this is what you call a violation of sovereignty." "I came from Onagada , the capital of the Iroquoi." "and I have an ancestry" "That goes back beyond a thousand years." "in one place." "In the same place." "and of course they are sovereign." "of course we are." "This people they have been... for longer than most anybody else in this whole world." "So they came here for only that reason." "And I think that they went away, realizing that... that this United States Government is not a powerful god." "The way our people looked on it for so then long." "They are able to go down to a bunker." "and vent on their frustration they have against the government." "Like sometimes when you see this young kids." "who'd never think of like calling a dirty Indian." "All I said is to remember all those things, just stand up on a bunker, maybe with a shot gun and fired those big affairs." "And there's no way that a shot gun can reach up there." "As far as those guys were away." "It was just in his mind." "He just realized now that I can fight back now." "I'm here with my own people." "And we have the strength to once again start fighting." "And this is the way I'm gonna start, you know." "and it was really a crazy thing down there in the Strong Heart bunker, when... and when for a long time, all the bunker has decided to seal in this one particular bunker... and they were shooting, very very heavily." "They got very frustrated." "All of sudden two of them jumped up and threw some dirt clout of pigs on their way out." "And it was a long ways away." "People just started to cracking' up." "And it was a really good time." "There was also a very strong thing in the minds of those warriors who did that." "Because, in our way then...it's good to do something like that, you know." "Just to show that you are not afraid." "Well I think you shouldn't mention your previous landlord." "Some of the landlord around here got a little bit uptight about someone who's been in jail." "They are very strict." "I have something up here on Washington Street." "Two rooms and a kitchen for $ 150." "It's kinda funky." "You're gonna redecorate it." "It must be nice to have all this light after your previous apartment." "I don't know if... a lot of people understand what the meaning of "free" is in this country." "I really don't." "A long time ago." "I was kinda a young guy." "I don't know if I ever told you about this." "I took a trip and I was bummed around in Havana." "I loved to gamble." "dance, and women, everything that was exciting." "And I was there when this guy Fidel Castro marched in." "And the next day everything was topsy-turvy." "Really an incredible scene." "Like some weird explosion just blew my mind." "People I never realized around me started talking to me." "A shoeshine guy was talking to me." "a waitress." "Let me tell you what it really was like, before this whole thing happened." "I have lived all my life, and couldn't understand it." "No jobs, people were hungry." "Some of them were dancing on the street, like everything would be different." "Did you get involved with them?" "No, I mean at first I was a little afraid." "And then when I saw everything was okay," "I left Havana and went out to the country, and that's the thing that really blew my mind." "People were working, got into things, building stuffs," "There were suddenly people running out of medicine." "And it was pretty poor." "But that wasn't the point, but beautiful thing was happening." "People were really doing things that they never had a chance to before in their lives," "Have you went there since?" "No." "I left them once to go back, and I was felt that they are all my friends," "I'd never able to go back again." "I mean every once in a while I do something." "I'm at a cab, a couple years ago." "He said he was a doctor of tropical diseases or something like that." "But I turned them on and they were going down." "He went down." "And apparently, he really dug it." "They obviously learned a great deal from him." "But when he came back I found then how much he learned from them." "Incredible thing." "You know, it's this side of you that kept me here for as long as I've been here." "Probably I would have split a long time ago." "You know, every guy were trying to make me, asked me for a drink," "Everybody is so drunk." "They can't sit up straight, or..." "Even the stench of this place when I come in the morning." "Why don't you get out of here too?" "And do what?" "You could figure something out." "It's the same thing, I have another joy." "Help a couple of people get started." "That's about it." "There has been a fire there." "Everything was burned out, or robbed." "I was really relieved." "What will you do?" "." "You should come live with me and throw some pots." "I remember you used to say, when the Vietnam war was over, you'd make some pots." "I used to think that it's a strange way to split it in half." "I don't know what I'm gonna do." " You know if there are any apartments?" " I hear them occasionally." "But you can live here as long as you want." "There's a room for you." "Thanks." "You'll get used to that." "I don't know." "I thought I'd travel a little bit first." "I have some money, I could spend a few months traveling." "I rented out this place out to some people." "And some kids worked here for some quite time." "I used to travel around the city looking for a place to sell this pots." "This store." "The best I could tell..." "It..." "It was this nightmare." "And now I'm making pots." "I feel like a barnacle on this big rock." " How old are you when you were blind?" " I was 11." "Did you remember what you saw?" "Yes but now all them seem too dissappeared and deminished." "But other parts ... are so clear and strong." "it's like some colors ... have become brimmed, beyond... anyway for me for like believing..." "Yes." "I do remember." "In fact I felt the same thing about the outside, when I was in prison." "Yes, but you get out." "The problem is memories." "Do you know what I mean?" "Sometimes I don't know if I'm seeing things the way they are." "Like I play trick on myself." "I think there should be a way I could cut through that." "I met a lot of guys in prison that taught me some things." "Maybe there's someone that could teach." "Yeah there are teachers." "Teachers are everywhere." "Do you remember that guy Peter, who used to do deserted work with me?" " Yeah, the one who went into prison?" " Yeah, for 2 years." "I have been thinking about him so much lately." "It just keeps going through my head." "Because there is something very strange about the way he is relating to being out." "And on one hand, he is surely has something very beautiful going on inside." "But on the other hand, there's something so distant, and frigid, and brittle about the way he is relating to us and to the whole world." "Sorry." "I knocked it off." "It's okay, you can make another one." "Let me finish this." "There is a split." "Now you can see what's the inside look like." "Okay." "Let's see." "we use the sake in?" "Okay." "Right in the center." "You can see." "Now, one hand down, one hand pushing." "You keep your hands wet." "And brace your elbows on your knees, and your knees against the wheel." "Do my knees against the wheel?" "I don't know" "What are you doing?" "I'm making a pancake." "Wait a second." "Do you know" Old Devil Moon"?" "I... lookatyouand suddenly... somethinginyoureyesIsee ... soonbeginsbewitchingme." "It's that Old Devil Moon, that got you stolen from the sky." "Did the Navajos leave any building to you?" "Yes, but they were torn it down." "They dynamite it out." "All the whole guns." "They still live in the mason top." "Did you know your grandfather?" "No, he was killed before I was born." "He was shot by a Navajo about a half mile from this spot." "His home is about a quarter mile behind us." "You didn't get along with the Navajos?" "No, we got along well with the Navajos." "Almost everybody else in this grave yard is Navajo." "Then how did he get killed?" "It was mostly over misunderstanding." "I invented that what led to his death was over a horse that the Navajo stole from him." "the rumor was spread that Richard Wetherill had killed... this Navajo man." "And later he was confronted by 2 Navajos and, they got him a little dispute and he... took over a gun away from him and broke the gun, and... went on his way." "And then the next day, he was was just down the canyon, and he couldn't see on top of the mason because the sun was on his eyes." "And he was shot from the mason." "And it made me scared for him." "Because..." "We don't know what's going on inside of him at all." "And I can't figure out whether it's him or us." "You know, that makes us understand." "And I feel afraid for him." "He's probably afraid too." "He's probably afraid to get back in being with people and being warmed with people." "And it's being able to accept that one." "And like touching." "When I got out, I couldn't touch anybody." "and I couldn't stand anybody touch me." "And I worry about it." "And I read Emma Golden's book." "She talks about Alexander Bergman." "He did 14 years." "When he came out, he didn't how to be with people at all." "He was in a speaking trip." "Anyone in different cities, very flipped out, and he did it." "Until one night he was speaking somewhere." "They put him out in a farm house and it was crowded." "And he woke up in the middle of the night." "He put somebody else on bed with him." "He just freaked out." "He dissappeared." "So it happened also to you when you got out." "Walking around here all day I've been feeling like at a home some place." "Put down some roots." "Get to know some people." "Get to know them well." "I was flipped out, you just didn't see it." "It was hard for me." "But I figured it well." "If I'm going to relate to people I gotta to find some way to do it." "some work to do." "So I found this spot." "And doing some work." "Basically it's what I'm doing." "Yeah there's also the ego thing." "For you it wasn't so degrading, such a shock, to have been so degrading." "And for a man, with that kind of pride, that kind of ego." "It just must be a total wiped out, to get treated just like a piece of shit." "I don't know Peter must be being pulled by so many different directions right now." " You're pulling in." " His father." "His father figures it well as he finished his time he's going to start something new." "probably he's willing to give him a job." "And there's this thing white society just reaches out." "He takes his boy back." "He always ready to take him back onto a big cushion." "And so we're done and put some in my pocket." "It's just a pot chards." "It's a corn cub." "What about this one?" "It's a turquoise bean." "that's got power for you." "They lived in these mazes, high mazes in the desert." "That's because their basic beliefs are so strong, it's being one people." "being having a communal kind of spirit in which they believe very strongly." "and that's what keeps them." "The Navajo." "They call themselves the "DINAE", which means "the people"." "I don't know how long it will last." " Can I talk to you for a minute?" " What do you want?" " Just to talk for a minute." " I'm just going to see somebody right down the hall." "Right down the hall, waiting for me." "I just want to talk for a minute." "Leave me alone!" "What is your name?" "Gail." "Listen, Gail." "You'll suck my cock." "John!" "Gail!" " John!" " Gail!" "Where are you?" " Gail, Gail!" " Watch out, he's got a gun!" "Don't shoot!" "Gail!" "Are you okay?" "Oh you did it?" "You want us to...?" "I could bring the ladder." "Or the bench." "No, the ladder." " Did that hurt you?" " No." "A couple of these." "So I thought, "Why shouldn't I be having nightmares?"." "I mean it's not actually so much bad omens ... it's bad stories about the thing we are subjected to." "I want to listen to those stories, quietly." "And learn from them." "And let them go by." "I just, I couldn't say anything to him." "So you can take the pot and hold it with your finger tips and then lower it down." "I just thought I should say something, just anything, to save me." "Was he very angry?" "I didn't even finish eating, so I must go." "Remember that time a couple weeks ago?" "The thing that I tried to rob everything." "Yes." "When I was in the back..." "Yes." "Remember the black cop that walked in last?" "Yes they were." "Last night I kept waking up and heard you talking, I couldn't hear what you were saying." "What an ache." "I'll sleep." "John, we glaze the pots." "Right." "Could you come by tomorrow afternoon, and help me unload the kilt, and we can..." "So we cook Rocco pots." "Clear." "Good." "Moved one part of your body." "That's right." "Don't forget your chin, elbows, hands, neck." "Idecidedto haveababy ." "I was looking a new direction." "Maybe I was just running away and I'm taking responsibility for my own life." "After all that time, what?" "8 years." "I took care of Alan and the kids." "And then I asked my self, "What are you doing?"" "I lived all my life in a commune." "I moved to the city, I have a job with a newspaper." "I practice aikido, I keep a diary." "I go to a woman's group" "I visit friends." "I go for long walks." "I don't feel lonely." "So I feel it what America feels like to me." "It grinds me down." "Eats away of me." "Eats away my dreams and Larry's dreams." "Everything what we want and work for." "But nothing is clear now." "No, it is not clear." "It doesnt seem it's gonna get any clearer soon either." "I don't think so." "I wanted to do theater well." "A theater could work." "It's important to us." "Reach out, stress... it's a form that makes sense to me." "It's a kind of free energy and a way to communicate with people." "Fresh air, future smells." "We were good strong women." "And we really gave people." "I'm afraid of losing all that." " Come on give me a drink." "Come on!" " No." "This is serious." "I need to talk." "I'm really leaving." "I've had bills from collectors, creditors, salesmen, everything." "It's no good." "I know it's not good for me either." "This place didn't make any money." "I'm gonna fall in couple of months, you know that." "If we are lucky, it will last 6." "Whom I'll trust to any but you?" "And you know that." "If I'm having a hang over, I'll hang the operation and you do." "Come on, stick with me a couple months more." "No, I can't." "I'll try somebody to replace me." "But I want to go now while we're still friends." "It's gonna be the same thing, like a month or 6 months." "It's no good, I want to go now I'm determined." "Yeah sure." "You see me." "I walked in here." "the place was jumping, full of people, everybody's drinking, good musicians." "I want it does happening more." "Most of the time I got work myself up to get in here." "You know I can do plenty of things." "You know that better than most people." "Why I wound up doing in this country?" "Where am I at?" "What am I supposed to be doing?" "Let's not get this turns into scene." "We are different people, We are into different things." "Right now, the thing for me to do, is to get out of here." "It isn't comfortable anymore, I've got to go." "Ya." "It is a tree." "What's going on in here?" "." "There are two big trees ... and there are a lot of huge sculptures." "Right here" " It's a pot shop, right?" " No." "I mean it has some pots." "Why do we come here?" "Look right here, there's a wood sculpture." "You feel that?" "It's a highly functional piece." "It could be used as a... hat rack?" "It's really bizarre." "Is there any pottery here?" "I think there are some pots on the floor." "Over here." "through this maze of plants and sculptures." "This hanging is ... a rug?" "Yes." " What is it?" " It's a big wall-hanging rug." "Be careful walking through here." "And we have go through this... 10 foot of iron arch." "Watch your head." "Be careful." "You gotta duck." "Okay." "There are few pots down here, on the wooden blocks on the floor." "What are these little lumps?" "The pottery has leprosy." "Let's find another store." "You have to be more particular." " Do you think it's a good store?" " No, it has junks in it." "But I haven't seen a store that has something that I like." "Oh, Sal!" "Now if you're walking around in Detroit this time..." "Things haven't changed that much since 1967." "I don't really know, I work with black people on the line." "But it's like separate lives." "We even work in the organization together, the union stuffs." "They go home, and I go home." "They all much tights." "Because of these intervening years." "Black people regaining themselves together." "You know it's a black city." "It's like a political organization." "Just black it up." "And a black mayor." "Economically more money to the community more control, more service organizations." "And different level kind of consciousness is growing up." "Not too long ago, there was a guy that was accused of shoot his foreman." "And they beat it." "It was a self-defense ... because of the incredible working conditions he had to work in." "They took the jury on tour to the plant and everything." "And the man won it, it's incredible." "I can only get out of that ... it's new level of thing in the way people watch it's a criminal and what ain't." "This side of windows are full of ... pots." " Should we go in?" " Well, sure." "One place is as loon as the other." "But it's really.." "We've got to find some place." "I mean the place we've been working in, it's no longer working." "This is like a commodity sales, you know?" "Listen, every joint has a bad day." "Well, send your nephew for an audition." "Who gives a shit?" "All right." "I promise I'll sign you an IOU." "Send the man in." "Come on." "Come on here, please." "Don't give me a hard time." "Everybody's giving me a hard time." "Whom do I speak to about getting the job?" "Well, you talk to him." "He's kinda busy now." "Maybe you'll get in between the calls, okay?" "If you just send the balloon on Monday, as usual, you will get your money." "I came to ask the job about playing the music." "It's not the time now, is it?" "Look at the goddamn hour today." "All right, sit down, I'll be finished in a minute." "Come on." "Okay, thanks." "Gail, no more calls for today, please." "Give me bourbon or something." "Christ!" "Yeah." "I want the job playing the music." "I play guitar, harmonica, blues." "Anything else?" "And I sing." "Well listen, I have regular entertainment here." " Excuse me." " Yeah." "How many cans do you want for the weekend?" "Give me a dozen can." "Something like that." "I got a house band." "They play first set, then they take a break." "So the customers can drink." "And then comes on the feature entertainment." "That's it, I got no place, sorry." "Well, I can play between the sets, and you can see how I sound like." "No, the point is in between the sets I want the customers to drink." "Because they don't drink at the entertainment." "You understand?" "I can wait on table and hang around here, and if you have a chance to listen to me." "That's a little different, I don't know about anything else, but I could use a waiter." "Very simple." "6.50 a night, tips," "Don't be stealing cash from the customers." "If you want to be the waiter, it's okay." "Joe, the meat guy is on the phone, how do you want me to tell him?" "Tell him, some good chopped meat or something But would you do me a favor to remind me?" "If you could just get the chef, to lay on decent sandwich, that the customers pay a buck and a half for two slices of meat, if he doesn't see it, get the girls to tell him." "Don't bring a shitty sandwich, we won't get the customers back anymore." "You live a rough life man." "Don't be smart about the kind of life I live." "You wanna be a waiter it's okay." "You come in here, 6.50 a night, you could start tomorrow." "Let me remind you, don't let me catch you with the customer." "Okay, but if there's a slot for me..." "I ain't promise you anything about the music." "If you're in there..." "If something's goin' down." "I only hear to music early the day, before 7 o'clock at night." "You got it?" " Is there a possibility for I to be able to play?" " I ain't promising!" "Whatever it is!" "Bring the goddamn machine in here." " That was a nice hitchhike, huh?" " Yeah" "What do you think about that guy that picked us up?" "I thought he was good." "He gave us a long ride." "So It wasn't hard to get here." "You know, the tide is going to be about 10 o'clock tomorrow." "So we get to get out for the mud flash." "Take some clams." "And eat them." "Remember that time you came over to my house." "I was kinda recruited for the action, and I was going out of town." "And we started a paper" "That was the time we talked a lot about what we were doing at separate places." "Where we will go and what's the future gonna be like." "It was really an incredible time." "With so much energy going around, and movement all over the country, where we were." "It seemed like we were like the center of things in some way, you know." "Maybe." "I remember the Washington demonstrations, the Panthers, the Chicago conspiracy, local staffs, anti-imperialist ..." "It seems like..." "It seems maybe people ... sorta... never quite... they were through from that." "It seems like we never learned ... the importance and the necessity of a ... living close to your values in revolutionary way at the same time... while struggling in the streets." "Maybe you and Amber had learned better, It's hard to say." "I guess now people are preparing for the next time around." "And that dichotomy won't exist so much." "I think one of the thing that we figured out that ..." "A revolution was not... a series of incidents, but our whole life." "It's not my mother, She's not from Chinatown." "Put it right down here." "Okay." "What was it like being with him?" "It was really far out." "It's the first time I've been with him after a year." " He's really grown." "He's like a different person." " Well, he's 5, you know." "Yes, he's 5." "It was so far out when he come up in the morning jumped up and down on the bed." "And we took some trips together." "We hitchhiked to Canada, that was really great too." "I dig being with him." "And I think he digs being with me too." "The clams is so many!" "You just need to dig deep enough." "I found this broken one, but good." "I want to warm my feet up." "And the hands." "It would really nice if you want to stay with us" "What do you think Jane would feel about that?" "Well we talked about it." "She says yes, but I don't know." "How is it between you two?" "We're getting locked up into a lot of stuffs." "Sometimes there is pressure and hard to talk." "But I think we're not competitive about him, we both dig the kid a lot." "How would Dylan feels when you ran out of his life like that?" " That was really hard." " I think it is." "When I first see him, he's very hostile and shy." " But after I'm there for a while, he gets really affectionate." " Oh." "It's hard on me though, you know." "Every time and just have to start all over again." "I don't know what's his feeling either." "I tried to be in touch with him, but it's really hard to tell." "We should really get in touch with Jane soon, and find out what she thinks about his living in here." "We could ask him too." "So you've been doing accupuncture, with everyone from the ranch?" "Just about everyone." "First we've been doing diagnosis, and then treatment." "I guess as long as I feel that I'm part of the process, then I feel pretty good about whatever we worked out together." "I think ..." "I think I could... getting to be a part of this house." "I like all the people." "It would be pretty interesting." "That's what I say." "I mean ..." "We should just do it." "See how it works out" "What do you mean just do it?" "That's great." "You go feed the chicken and leave us here." "I like Terri I want to live here." "I'm really glad that you came to personal desicison that we've been, having the conversation for all day trying to figure it out." "You've been really destructive" "I'm just telling you what I feel, and you refused to acknowledge what my feelings are." "Why so much negative energy!" "It's your attitude, it's obnoxious." "Maybe Sal is right." "Maybe he has some feelings he hasn't talked about it." "He sure has." "I think you guys should just smoke another joints and relax." "Californian hippie!" "Don't change the conversation with your trick." "Well, don't change the kitchen with your shit." "I think we are already smoking a joint." "Let's get this stuffs and go eating." "Hey, I want to live with you people." "Maybe not." "Come on." "I wish it was clearer how we're gonna spend more time together, work together, try to think about some stuffs together." "I don't know, I found it hard traveling." "I get into the land by going outside." "So much history, so many crimes, and smashed dreams." "I've been reading the boy's history of John Brown." "It's amazing, it really blows my mind." "His determination, really... his understanding of injustice in the world." "and inside of that, his sense of humanity." "There are so many little things about his relationship with his kids." "When I compare it to Leaf and I." "I just want to open up so much more of my life into the world." "I was just reading this." "It was after Harper's Ferry, was being taken to be hung." "John Brown wrote out "Into this Morning"." ""This is a beautiful land," he said." "It was beautiful." "Wide glistening, rolling fields." "And still afar rose the mighty nest of the Blue Ridge," "The Blue Ridge where Nat Turner had fought and died." "or Gabriel Prosser, had looked for refuge." "and where John Brown had built his dream." "I've had my ups and downs." "Got a couple of things to straighten out." "You people don't even know me, and don't even know what I'm like." "I wouldn't want to surprise you, or shock you." "It doesn't need to be this permanent definite thing." "We can try something out and begin to see something might happen." "That's cool." "I don't think we want to be shocked, particularly." "But also ..." "That's what I'm trying to say to you all day." "What you just said." "Right." "I don't know ..." "I just had this hassle in Virginia in a sawmill." "I got into an argument with the foreman." "What happened?" "The guy was an asshole, and gave everybody a hard time, so..." "One day ... we had it out... and I tried to kill him." "I tried to kill that guy, he pissed me up that much." "So ..." "Now the guy got a warrant of my arrest." "So that ..." "I gotta deal with it." "How can I live, and where..." "I just think..." "I don't think this guy is going to chase you from Virginia up here." "I think you should move in with us." "And we'll work it out." "Yes." "I also don't understand ..." "It sounds like excuses." "On one hand and on the other hand you keep saying that you want to live with us." "I just owe some money, and I got this thing at the sawmill." "It's enough to bother me like I feel I have to get it straightened out." " I just have to." " How much money do you owe?" "About $1,500." "Look, none of us have any money." "We work ... we try to do what we can, we worry about it together, you know." "we don't try to do it individually." "And if you just come and live with us," "I don't know how to find the answer, but it will be our problem too." "And we'll work on it together." "Why should I bring 4 other people down with me?" "If I'm gonna go down, I should go down because of myself," "I sould go down alone" "If I got a problem, I should deal with it." "You keep saying, that you don't want to live here." "And I feel like..." "Well ..." "It's hard when you've been living on your own, to think about living with a bunch of people" "I don't want to push, but... somehow it's back and forth, all kind of in an out." "I don't know how to deal with this." "It bothers me too that I got that angry." "I don't really feel right" "I wouldn't feel right living with anybody." "Because," "I know that I'm capable of getting that angry." "It just wouldn't feel right." "I feel like i've been too long for a while" "You have to take people, you know." "It turned out to be nothing special." "You can't end up that you can't be living with everybody." "I mean there are a lot of people in this bloody country ..." "That I really care a lot." "I hate to fight!" "In a way..." "In certain way it's the best." "Well, let's not say anymore." " We won't say goodbye to Leaf" " Okay." "The second part is called " The hairy man from East"." "We did not think that the great open plains," "The beautiful rolling hills and the winding streams with entangled growth... is wild." "Only to the white man, the nature's wilderness." "and only to him that the land invested with wild animals and savage people." "To us it was tame," "Earth is about a fool and we were surrounded with the blessing of the Great Mystery." "Not until the hairy man from the East came and with a brutal frenzy... and hit injustices upon us and the family we love." "while it's wild for us." "When the animals from the forest began fleeing from its approach, then it was for us the Wild West began." "That was by Chief Luther Standing Bear, of the Oglala bear of Sioux." " They were people and they were mean." " Hmmm" "The picture that goes with this, is really beautiful picture of... a vast plain like I've never seen." "With a sort of clusters with tipis that almost feel like mushrooms." "It's really fine." "Is it like a village?" "It says like encampment." "I guess it's something like coming together at the tribe, for a ceremony or something." "I must be ..." "Who's playing?" "Must be Bobby." "He plays on into the night." "Black or White." "Well, thank you for reading this." "That's the last one for tonight." "I'm gone." "Let's call it a day." "You should shave." " Sal" " Hi, John." "How are you doing, John?" "Hello, Jimmy." "Eben, Michael, Ruth, Ritchie and Dylan." "Great." "And... they have flippers." "And they have mouth." "Mouth." "And they have a dog-like head." "And they have a nose with whiskers on it." "They have a nice little eyes." "And have a nose." " Are they big?" " Yes!" "As big as me!" "How you doin'?" " We're good." " And how are you?" "Hey Hopi, check out the seals." " Hopi, let's see this seals." " Seals!" "Let me hold them." "I didn't get a chance to hold them." "I put my fingers this close and it didn't bite me." " It's not so big, is it?" " No." "It's as big as my fist." "It has legs, yes." "They get handed a lot here." "Dylan, give it water for a minute." "Just give it a little dump." "Here is a plastic right here." "It's really scratchy, isn't it?" "Is it stiff?" "I can feel its hand gripping onto the edge of my finger." "It gets stuck all over." "It has a little orange stomach right over here." "Did you notice?" "Here." "A little indentation." "All right." "Let's see after a while, his legs will come out." "My body is filling up" "I'm just checking for the birth." "Everybody around here is waiting." "It's almost the same." ""Things to Remember from Prison Experience:"" "Look, at the physical action!" "What is a tidal wave?" "It's a big wave that comes and knocks the city down." "It's worse than a flood." "Watch this sisters, it's gonna be a tidal wave!" "It could knock the aquarium down." "Watch this, watch!" "And when it comes, it will come and rumbling down." "Whoever gets the most tidal waves they win, okay?" "No I don't want to do that, I just want to see." " Hurry up!" " No!" "I'll leave after the third ... or fourth tidal wave, okay?" "How about the third." "Water." "I really don't know if this baby ever gonna taste, pure streamed water." "If he can see green leaves." "And the sky, and the blue sky." "I look at it every day, and I saw this yellow film." "Sometimes I can't remember what the blue sky looks like myself." "I've been trying to figure it out for about six years." "Since I got into college." "I can't do it." "So what you've been doing?" "What do you do?" "What are you figuring out?" "I was writing a book and all the strength came along." "And... then I took acid." "Yes, I did that too." " Mrs. Grayson." " Yes." "My name is Jan Phillips, I was sent by your lawyer, Mr. Stein." " Can I sit down" " Yes, please." "Please." "Mr. Stein can't come right now," "So he sent me to ask you some questions which will help you later for your reignment." "What is this, this reignment ?" "That's a court procedure where they told you what you're judged with." "You don't have to worry about that." "You don't have to say anything." "Mr. Stein would just plead not guilty for you." "I don't think I'm guilty." "We went to this party last night." "He drank a lot, as usual." "I didn't like the way he was acting at the party." "And I've been there." "When I got home I just wanted to be left alone, and he wouldn't leave me alone." "So I tried to tell him, what I was upset about him." "And he began telling I'm crazy." "He threw me down to the bed, I had to get him off me." "So I reached for the lamp and beginning to hit him in the head." "I just have to get him off." " Did he hit you?" " No." "He pulled my hair." "He was trying to kick me, and I was beginning to hit him with the lamp." "I know it's really hard for you, and we don't have to go into anymore." "You can talk to Mr. Stein about it later." "What's really important is to getting you out." "So you can go see Mr. Stein in his office." "And talk to him there." "Yeah, I should get out of here." "That's the first thing we want to." "So to do that we have to know some things." "Your age." " How old are you?" " I'm 26." "And .." "Do you work?" "I should be working now, and they won't let make a phone call..." "I called Mr. Stein." "I teach, I have to notify the school." "Where do you teach?" "I teach at Lincoln Elementary school I teach third grade." "What's really important is getting you out." "How long you've been working there?" "Three years." "There are a lot of fear in me." "I have a lot of carelessness and sloppiness about..." "What I stand for." "All of things are tied together, they come as one." "instead of being splintered." "In a way it's more complicated than that, because ... this film is not really feeding me so well." "like other films have fed me, and able for me to do this film." "But luckily," "I don't have to ... take care of you kids." "Luckily I don't have to put you through school anymore, get you a decent meal or a winter coat." "It's quite different." "This is the ring that I got in Vietnam." "It's made of ... a small piece of an American plane." "And it has a number on it." "It is an F-105." "I think it's an F-105." "I hope the Alewife doesn't die." " It's pretty sick though." " Yeah." "Do you see that little squarmy fish?" "It's turning in circle." " Oooh his eyes gone." " Who?" " His." "That's floating way apart." "His eyes gone" " Oh he's got blown away." " I know." "How do you know this lot about fish?" "I studied it for 10 years." "I should know a little bit." "Yes, I guess." "I thought and might as well try to make a living, doing what I wanted to do." "So I went to graduate school, I got a Phd." "Then I got this job, teaching at a university." "And I taught for one year." "But it just wasn't what I expected." "I mean I just kept getting farther and farther away." "If I'm in it, I wanted to get out very badly." "But then who knows how fishes think?" "But the tank is only like 8 feet long." "Right now they're panicked." "I got more turned on with political stuff that goin' on in the world, then... and what I was doing seem very far away from that." "So what did you do?" "What you do?" "So I went to the chairman of my department." "and told him that the research that I was working on, just wasn't close enough like really dealing with the real problems." "What were you doing?" "I was woeking on this little fish, and trying to find out how they behavior change." "when the temperature change." "The idea was they are going to build a nuclear reactor in the town where the university was." "So I went to the chairman and I said him that I want to make a movie about... how the people in the town, like the poor people got worse off because of the changes in the environment." "like the pollution, and everything, and the rich people." "He said that no way that I could do that when I was still in the Zoology Department." "So I got fired." "It's like fruit jello." "It's like that much fish." "I want to move into other department." " We will in a little bit." " I don't like to watching this fish." "It's boring." "I was hitchhiking from Base 1." "A car came by, I swore the car was trying to kill me." "After that every car, every set of head lights that came at me," "I thought they're gonna try to run me over." "I knew that because I was a G.I." "I couldn't relate to the people in the service, or people out of the service." "Another thing that's in this dream is fire." "It's in the south of Saigon." "We got hit, and called in strike." "Next thing, two men came out of the bushes." "the phosphors burnt." "Burned right through the bone." "I never saw a fire like that." "Terri," "I'm gonna pull a job." "It steals some stuffs." "What kinda stuff?" "I was at a party the other night." "I really shouldn't been there, but this girl took me up there." "These were very rich people." "There was room after room. empty, like a hotel." "I went to the bedroom." "I saw lots of jewelry." "If we set out right, we can do it." "I don't know." "It's safe, man." "It's okay." "Very little risk involved." "He joined in a cavalry like this, the Vietnamese." "To get guns." "A man like that, an American great.." "What a man!" "That's wonderful." "He secured the frontier for us." "This shows that power is the law." " that's a bad news." " That's awful." " I don't want to play after that movie." " Yeah that could be a bummer." "Don't worry about it." "You only freaked me out." "Set a scene, get up there, and take control and say what you're gonna say." "Who's putting something like this on here..." "I don't know, it's better than waiting on table." "It's okay, come on." "It's junk anyway." "How you doin'?" "That was a pretty duty movie, huh?" "That movie reminded me of this town in New Mexico." "It's Taos, where everything is Kit Carson hotel, Kit Carson motel, and lounge..." "The Indians really hate that fucker." "I think I'm gettin' ready." " But it's easier you said?" " Yeah, it's okay." "I'll take, all my salary, my 6.50 a day, chipping' in and put up a plaque on the wall of Kit Carson memorial plat." "Okay," "I'll play some music now." "Wait a second." "It's a genocide is a hard act to follow." "I'm trying to get it together up here." "Okay." "The movie reminds me like a couple of days ago we did... this recording scene." "It's like an entertainment a bit, like that movie is entertainment." "Everyone sits back and watches it." "It's kind of removed from it." "Recorded on Ego label." "I'm trying back into it now." "An entertainment for you." "But if you want to come up, and play with me," "My first and last gig in this place." "Okay?" "Hold it right there!" "Are you all awake?" " What's happening?" " We need to talk to you." "Who is it?" "It's Jimmy." "Terri's dead." "What?" "Jamie called just a few minutes ago." "He hit it at work." "It's just incredible." "How?" "I guess they tried to... burglarize a mansion." "With another guy and the cops came." "The other guy got away and he got killed." "This is the guy that you were going to live with?" "." "Did he just come back from Vietnam?" " Was he into this kinda stuff?" " I don't know." "Then he talked about it." "The debt he had, the trouble he'd been in." "A very strange discussion." "We told that we would support ... trying to give him the support we could." "It was weird," "I knew that he wasn't hearing us." "Well, I wonder like... how was you in touch with what he was as a guest?" "What did you know?" "Not at all." "I felt really stupid all day questioning him, getting the third degree." "It was really just a strange conversation." "I've been in that kinda conversation before." "It was a combination of ... the differences, and people's classes." "I just felt trapped inside of that." "and experiences." "He was just so isolated." "We think isolated, I thought," "We always live with the same kind of people." "You were pretty close to him, why do you want to live with him?" "How do you feel?" "I'm wondering whether I was responsible in some level." "Not guilty, or anything like that." "But some kind of responsibility." "Maybe ..." "I'm just frustrated to see ..." "It was difficult how it was to make a connection." "I don't know." "It just seems like... we ..." "We have to know ourselves better in that situation." "And be clear what we are." "And I just think we know nothing about who he was either." "I really liked Terri." "I really wanted to live with him." "We're gonna need to find something real quick because we surely run out of money." "Have you got the fine script?" "It must have been weird going back there after all these years." "Where he's been now, 10 years." "About 10 years." "Where can I pick it up or something?" "You don't wanna have it mailed somewhere?" "Well, I don't even have the address to mail to." "Okay, yeah." "It's on line 1." "and pick up." "Okay, thank you." "It was really quiet there, empty, nothing happened, it was really strange." "What you're going to do?" "Start doing that Computer stuff again?" "I don't know, I hope not." "But if I have to, it really depends on what we can find when what we get settled." "And if I can find something that makes sense with the computer stuff, I hope." "You know, I really wish you were staying in town longer." "It was really good." "We could spend some time together, hanging out and talking." "I really miss you." "There just not many people around here that got the same taste as me anymore." "Doing the things I do." "You should soon really come out and spend some time, and maybe staying out there or something." "That sounds really tempting." "I guess I'm kinda ready now more to... get back again and to living with a group of people." "It really would be nice if we could work something out." "Maybe a..." "But there's only one problem right now, and that's the plant." "I spent these all years dealing this thing off, and trying to get through the people." "And I haven't been there so long." "And it seems those things are just beginning to happen." "I don't want to leave and have people feel like I have betrayed them." "I get the feeling that it's a bit uptight." "Cause, I feel the pressure." "I also feel that I want to be doing something which feels good to me." "All those things we've talked about." "About me working outside, I'm doing what makes me feel good, and makes my body feel good." "I don't know how it's going to work out." "We can find something that's really simple that you're gonna do." "And I can take something else." "What it might mean, it's me getting a job as a waitress." "And as much as I don't like it," "I also have nothing to live on us, eating rice and beans all winter." "And I'm wanting for you to get into a job, and I really feel that I should be doing it." "which i'm working all out." "No, you should just put this big cushion between your legs." "44.40." "It is becoming lighter." "What's tonight?" "Is it Thursday?" "No, today is Friday." "It's Friday." " It's Friday, isn't it?" " Yeah." "So, I think this is gonna happen." "I'm not scared of this transition, because it did feel like in control." "Because when I feel I'm under stress, I'd be in control." "I thought that a little late, but..." "We've been expecting though, they come closer like they've been every 5 or 7 minute." "If we catch one in 3 minute or 4 minute it will probaly be to show us." "About 35 seconds now." "How frequent are they?" "They are very irregular." "What we're going to do in this course is, we stimulate a little bit, and see if it's gonna cry" "Not that I feel they are good or bad, but you haven't been making progress" "The will stimulate to see if you're going to get a progress, two hours stimulation, with the labor hormone." "And we'll see what kind of progress you'll make." "If the baby head isn't descended into the birth canal... as far as we expect it at this point, of labor." "Probably," "We will set up a limit, at noon time or something like that." "and if you don't do it by then we probably..." "See you later." "Soup, soup, soup." "Excuse me, where is the soup?" "That's crazy!" "I'm not paying 99 cents for two..." " Well, I seems that's the way it is." " I don't want to do that." "99 for..." "Health." "40.50, 75." "13, 14, 15, 5." "Good to see you!" "These poor plants look they are so droopy." "I wonder if they live?" "When I came here what I was thinking about is looking around" "Maybe moving here." "Change in life for me." "And to be near you too." "But I just can't think about it." "Yeah same thing happened to me." "I came back." "I had a lot of dreams about living in the desert." "Wanted to learn about everything." "I have been thinking about living in the Hogan." "It's true." "I thought about becoming an Indian or something like that." "And also be with you." "Also be a mystic, a mountain man." "There's a lot of fantasies." "I gotta pee." "This print shot." "Do not run on time." "Okay, listen, go over that paragraph again." "" Welcome, power passed on from one white well female to another, and they develop an insulated clan... described by some as the power elite." "Young man from this caste, look forward to being tracked for successful and easy life." "Women are the property of these men." "The poor are their labors." "The non-white other's slaves." "Each of this oppressed group are potentially very powerful." "United there, and conquer." "Invincible." "Well?" "Yuck-o!" " Maybe you've heard it too much." " I have, I really have." "When we wrote it sounded new and fresh." "We distilled everything that we felt that we had, our hatred, and our emotions, got this words on paper." "Oh yeah, but that's the thing." "We wrote it." "We were really into, we really are into it, because it's true." "But now I listen to those words and they are just dead." "You know how when you hear a word... and you say a word over, over, and over so it doesn't mean anything anymore." "We've been playing with all these words for six months" "And it's time to get it printed, and that's it." "Today is the last day, and that's good." "That's the thing." "That's the thing that we gotta get going for ourselves." "But at least there's an introduction to a manual that's gonna get somebody out of jail, real people out of a real jail." "7.44.50." "You're gonna have to toast it." "Head, heart." "Rear end." "There's a little princess that's going to sleep." "I'm not really judgmental about those things." "What about the pressure from the baby?" "Is there pressure from the baby?" "I think it's kicking." "Another scorpion." "The head is right here." "Did they have any juice?" "No, but you surely don't want something?" "They got cheese, sandwich, or fish sandwich, or something like that..." "Look, I don't want any of their lousy food." "Let's not get into all that again, we're all tired, we couldn't find a better place to staff." "Let's get something to eat and find a place to stay for the night." "I've been thinking while I've been sitting here... how much control that the whole environment last year while we've been living with people." "And now just the three of us." "And I feel like there's no space misdued any of my feelings." "And I'm starting to feel lousy, I'm starting to feel nebulous, and awful." "All those old feelings coming back again." "Well, I think since we stop traveling, get Leaf settled we will be able to work through some of those things." "Well, if you feel that way too, then why don't you talk about it more." "I feel like you get into this thing," "No, we get into this thing, okay." "But we start getting really cut off from each other." "I don't know what you're thinking, what you're feeling, what it is you really want to do." "And I get trapped in that." "I mean, what's to make it?" "Why want it to get worse?" "." "Like I'm really getting scared." "You know, I get scared when it gets like this too." "Just the two of us and Leaf." "We've got to find some space with other people somehow." "But ... the other thing is..." "We talked about splitting up for a while." "Maybe this is the time to do that." "Have you seen Leaf recently?" "I think he's just walking around here." " Okay." " He'll be all right." "You say that," "But I feel that we're losing sight of that freedom that we talked about." "We're getting really boxed in." "And we're just losing touch with everything we believed in." "I mean this lousy waitressing job." "I don't know what the fuck I'm getting into it for." "It has nothing to do with me and I don't want it." "I mean ..." "Just the way you bring up splitting up right now," "You're trying to... make me go now, just because I'm bringing up something, that means something to me." "Just because I'm getting in touch with my feelings." "Come on, you know that wasn't what I meant." "I thought you wanted some space to be alone, and that's why I brought the idea of splitting up." "And about the job," "You can make hippie candles or pick apples next summer, but we gotta get something to get us through, and I'll take a job." "Shit, Lou, that's not the point." "We always have this kind of discussion, and we always have to be bloody rational." "Like when we talked about where we are going to live." "And I always come away feeling ..." "No." "How do you come away feeling?" "Like you never talk about that, like you never get in touch with it." "You must be feeling things in deeper way than that." "It's like everything rolls up your back clap water." "Like why don't you get angry sometimes?" "Look, I can't talk about it any longer in this way anymore." "I mean we will have to ... talk about it later when we settle down for a while." "This way, fuck you!" "It is always your way, and your space and your reality." "I am me!" "And I'm bloody suffocated." "We'll have to talk about it later." "Don't throw away your pen!" "I got to close it!" "I got to close it." "I got to close it." "Now what's goin' on?" "What's up?" "He shouldn't but you really don't have to be a whole hassle about it." "Hey, Lou." "Let him work it out himself." "I got snow." "Why don't we try to get this done now." "One of us have to go into the town." "Maybe I'll go into the town, and you can..." "Okay, you have to go to town but tell me what do I have to do with this." "Okay, all you have to do is push this generator." "Take that pull out, yes." "Take all these all around." "This one?" "Outside." "Okay?" "Okay." "Now, we have to make a snow woman." "Yes, snow woman!" "While you are playing with this, we'll take care the car." "Right on." "Have a little bit of this snow." "It's the half-inch." "Take this one out, get the thing you want." "Maybe you want to go to the town while I'm taking another....?" "How she ever gonna learn mechanical thing better than me?" "Of course." "Oh it's not big enough." "Okay, I'll be back a little bit." "How many more miles is it gonna take to get to home?" "I don't know how many miles, but it probably will take one more day." "It all depends on how long it's gonna take us to get into this car to work." "I can't wait." "I know you can't wait, and I know your parents can't wait to get you home." "But we'll have to wait." "And work together." "Sound good to you?" "It's becoming more of a reality." "We have to consider ... what the situation is going to be." "How it should occur." "Right." "Cry if you feel like." "Yes, you come up with $600 deposit," "You will be Dr. Brew's private patient." "You will be in a private labor room." "And..." "And I anticipate the cost for 24 hours in care, or minimum cost." "About $200-$250 and it's not including anesthesia." "Which theoretically you don't need." "The clinic will not be a problem." "I will pay." "Just make sure you have the deposit, which is refundable." "Whatever you don't use is refundable." "I am really tense." "Don't cry, please." "What did he say?" "Believe it or not, she's happy." "You're doing fine!" "It is five inches." "I see, I see." "It goes well." "Very good." "Some are broken." "What do you think?" "All right so far." "I don't know about the other thing." " What did you mean by that?" " You know, what we were talking about." "Our roads." "I always I wanted to be a doctor." "The position." "The professional status." "and the income." "I wanted a good life." "Your mother and myself." "And also ... for you." "To training, schooling." "It's funny how that works." "I grew up with a privilege without having to won on anything." "So I never believed in it." "I believed." "It's the most important thing in the world." "When did you stop?" "." "Did I ever stop?" "." "I think you did." "Open your mouth." "Say "a"." "I think it began when I quit college." "I thought you just holding on to something." "That was true." "What was happening in those days..." "Breathe deeply." "Breathe." "Breathe." "Breathe." "Well, Peter, there are real choices." "One can change." "I have changed." "I take more poor patients on the hospitals." "And we work on one... a couple days a week." "It's nothing special." "It seems special." "It all ends up, to me." "Everything." "I thought a lot about you being in jail." "Your letters were really important to me." "I loved them." "Lie down." "You know, Peter." "You really do have to have a profession." "Or skill some sort of that." "To give your life some sort of focus." "It's absolutely necessary." "I have seen so many people suffer from them." "People your age." "I want to focus also." "You know, it's still not to late... for me to get you into the Medical School." "Dad!" "Legs up." "Listen, next week I'm gonna stop working in this box factory down town." "A box factory?" "I can support you for a while so that you can look for a work that is suitable for you." "If it is the money." "I'm glad you want to support me Dad." "If it isn't the money then," "What is it?" "Is it that kinda feeling of how we live, our relationship with people I suppose?" "Class, maybe?" "Is that what bothering you?" "I guess it is." "I don't want to have those privileges anymore." "I just want to do some hard work." "In ten years you are still be building." "We'll see." "It goes very fast." "Nothing stopping it now." "I need you down there." "For one moment please," "You don't need to go away, just a little work." "To see if we have its head now, descended." "It is almost in the neck." "I would say four or five centimeters." "It's more than before." "The main thing is ..." "I think now is a bit better." "The help to maintain the level." "I do not know what happened." "I think it's the occiput anterior." "Right." "It's a great favorable position." " We can go ahead." " Are you okay?" "Here's the train coming!" "Rolling round the bank." "Very good." "It goes really well." "It seems it calms down." "Breathe, breathe." "Look at Joe, look at Joe." "Breathe, breathe." "Okay." "No, no." "No, no." "Not like it was, you know." "I was born on the floor." "At my house." "She was washing the floor and all of sudden she stretched." "My sister said she heard a noise, and that's how I was born." "They went very seldom to the doctor." "She took all kind of herbs that she remembered." "that was good for certain things." "And she put them all in a little pouch bags." "So my mother would fix it, concoction up." "and put them in a bottle." "She sent me over to the lady's house and said," "Tell her to give this to the baby, and it will be alright." "Is that where the brain is?" "The brain is very..." "But when I massaged here" "I'm massaging the last point of one of the energy pathway," "They control the internal heating." "When I talked to you last time..." "And I said that Harriet would come." "It's really special for me." "But for me that we're here all the same time is really something special." "Rest your hands, make yourself comfortable." "The construction, and everything." "What it can stand." "hard work and everything, you know." "To go through all kinds of ... sickness, and everything instill the body ... holds up." "We always told to Mommy, we always told this thing," "Tell us how to do, in case she died" "I'm gonna live a long time, I'll teach you, don't worry." "She had an accident and died." "She washed the clothes and I said, Mama let me hang the clothes." "No, no, no, I will hang them, but" "She went and stood on the edge of the roof so that the sheets wouldn't get dirty." "but she fell, and she fall on a picket fence." "she was very bad, and put on a critical condition yes and all." "And she said to me," "I dreamed of St. Bridget last night," "And..." "I'm gonna die in three days." "And get me out of this hospital." "So my mother came home." "And the third day, she died." "And the priest came home and he was crying." "He said to me, "I have never seen a woman like this in all my life."" "I said, "what did she do father?" "Oh, I can't tell you child."" ""You all losing a good, good mother."" "I did." " You got a mirror?" " The mirror is in the bedroom." "You won't see much." "Do what you want to do." "A little push, a little push." "One, a big one." "Keep going, keep going, and push." " Is the contraction over?" " No." "Keep breathing." "Push, push, push." "Keep going." "Push." "It's coming, Susie." "It's coming." "Somebody look ..." "Take a breath." "Hold it, push." "Push." "Keep going, Susie." "Keep going, keep going." "It's coming." "Keep going, Susie!" "Spread whole your legs." "Your contraction is probably over." "Real deep breath, and push." "Push, push, push." "Push, push, push!" "Great, great!" "A couple more pushes and you're done." "You did so well." "Breathe normally if you're not having contractions." "Push, push, push!" "Push!" "Push!" "Push!" "Can you see it for a moment?" "Can you see it?" "Can you see the baby?" "It's probaly we'll have the baby in the next contraction." "Very nice." "Another push." "Okay, push." "Push a little." "A little, a little." "Stop pushing." "Alright, stop pushing, stop pushing." "Blow, blow, blow." "Very good." " We need another push." " Here it is!" "Push, push." "Push, push, push." "It's coming!" "Does somebody notice what time is it?" "Give me my mother!" "I know." "You did it!" "The breathing is good." "Cut right here into the chord." "Thank you." "She's all yours." "Yes, honey." "This is the bag of waters." "The baby lived inside it." "This way it's attached to you, right here." "I am Wesley Louis Rumble," "First Lieutenant at United States Air Force." "I was an F-4D pilot." "I was shot down and captured in April 28th, 1968." "When my airplane was hit I had to bail out." "As I was descending in my parachute," "I was quite worried and fearful about what the treatment I might receive." "if I were captured." "But a few moments after I was captured, my fear was eased." "I was treated with a very kind manner." "Increased my feeling for the Vietnamese people quite a bit with this treatment I have received." "But other thing..." "the laboratory has decided ... to come back and print it in pale on one light." "Do you start the projection?" " Do you want me to do it?" " Yes." "In a few moments." "Mazel tov." "She looks like a lot my aunt from my father side." "Especially the right eyebrow." "We have to admit it, at three months old she was very alert." "Wide awake." "I know it's right." "If we follow through in the areas," "That was so close behind it." " Were you at the birth?" " I missed it." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." "I waited, and I hung around, and I planned, and I expected to go." "And when I got that the plane didn't go I just stuck at the airport, and I finally got in a car." "And but the time I got there, it was all over." "I bet that you got disappointed for... not making it." "I felt very bad, I wanted to be with the kid." "You will be at the second one." " Enough is enough." " Why?" "There's a lot to do for that girl in her life." "It's rough on the young sister, eh?" "Is there a problem?" " Can I call from your office?" " Sure, remember to use the 2nd line." "When are you going to be finished with your cutting?" "One week, two weeks the most." "That time, you give me a call, and I'll sit down with you on the machine." "You've got nice material, you should have no problem." " Good, swell." " Are you gonna take this dailies?"