"I'll get it" "In the name of the elders of Vandor," " prepare to die!" " What?" "Take this Gorgo, and this!" "Wait!" "No!" "I'm not Gorgo!" " You're not?" " No!" "So this isn't the fortress of Wolfrik." "No, this is one thirty-three Collins road." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Am I embarressed." "So you're not going to kill me?" "No, no, no, there's been a terrible mistake." "We recently merged with another hoard and interdepartmental communications has been horrible." "I'm sorry to have troubled you." "Oh, that's okay." "It was no trouble." "Believe me, I'm going to ream those guys in despatch." "Hey, you forgot your thingy." "Sorry." "S01 E23 The Crucible" "Fuelled by the flames of vengeance and persecution, the Salem witch trials lasted a year." "By the end of sixteen ninety-three, twenty were hanged and the town had seen it's darkest days." "Okay, two notes on tomorrows field trip to historic Salem." "The bus will leave Saturday morning at eight a.m." "Eight a.m. on a Saturday!" "That's just wrong." "And pack lightly, you'll be provided with period clothing when you arrive." "The idea is for us to fully immerse ourselves in the repressive culture of the time." "Do you wanna sit next to me on the trip tomorrow?" "I know all the good bus songs." " I'm not even sure I'm going." " You're kidding, don't you wanna see where the witches lived?" "Big deal!" "Touchy." " Hey Adam." " Hey." "He is so into you." "Adam's not the kind of guy who would ask a girl to do something." "She has to make the first move." "So when are you gonna do it?" "In Salem." "It's the perfect exotic setting to let Adam know I like him." "Have you ever dated a baseball player before?" "Oh let's see, football, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, badminton..." "No!" "What about Carl, we could invite him?" "Erck!" "He always wants to bring his skunk familiar" "Hey, what's going on?" "We're thinking of having a little Texas style dinner party tomorrow night." "I had a hankerin' fer a seven witch chilli." "It's good eatin'" "We'll save you some for when you get back from your trip." "Oh, I don't think I can go." " Why not?" " I'm sick" "See?" "A bed of nails, why am I like this?" " Because you're a faker." " Huh?" "You know, an Indian mystic, a Fakir." "This is a very painful pun aunt Hilda." "The point is, you're not sick." "Aw!" "Oh!" "Okay, I'm not but I've been thinking about it and Salem sounds like a dangerous place for a witch." "The Salem witch trials had nothing to do with real witches" "Besides, that was three hundred years ago." "There's nothing to worry about now except for over priced souvenirs." " Really?" " Go and have a good time on your field trip." "Eight bottles of beer on the wall, eight bottles of beer." "You take one down and pass it around, seven bottles of beer on the wall." "Okay that's enough, we're here." "Can't we finish the song?" "We were so close" "Sorry Harvey, no more singing, ye be puritans now." "Okay, I'm going to hand out these envelopes." "Which each contain a card." "Don't open them yet." "On each card is a role for you to play while at Salem village." "Most of the cards say 'townsperson' but one or more may say 'witch" "Witch!" "If you really play your roles we can make history come alive" "Open your envelopes but don't reveal your card to anyone." "I'm a townsperson, what are you?" "Who cares?" "I'm not even looking." "Hi everybody." "What's Mr. Pool doing here?" "He must be one of our chaperones." "What wont he do for money?" "Jenny, art thou chewing gum?" "I... art." "Well, out with it." "Had the puritans known chewing gum you can bet they would have been against it." "Good morrow townspersons and welcome to Salem." "Over there is ye olde inn where ye will eat and sleep and yonder is the meeting hall, where we'll discuss the towns issues." "Now before we spread out I want everyone to pick a buddy." " Buddy?" " Better be." "Libby, I'll be your buddy." "No, I wanna be your buddy." "Be each others buddies." "I have someone else in mind." "You were my next choice." " Hey slugger." " Hey." "Listen Adam, I know you're shy so I'll make it easy for you." "Will you be my buddy?" "Thanks Libby but I already asked Jenny." " What, like as a joke?" " No" " Hey buddy." " Hey." "Hey Libby." "Hey yourself." "So does everyone have a buddy?" "Not me." "We can take care of that," "I'll be your buddy Goody Chessler." "I feel like I'm falling down a well." "All right, let's change our clothes and begin our morning chores." "I'm starving," "I'm glad the puritans had chips." "Me too." "Man those chores were tougher than baseball practice." "Yeah, I'm really going to feel that churning tomorrow." "So has anyone been accused of having a witch card?" "No, and I hope no one is." " Why not?" " Because.." "first you start looking for witches, the next thing you know it turns into a witch hunt." "Do you mind if I sit with you buddy?" "So, are ye all enjoying puritan life?" "If I'd wanted to do chores" "I would have stayed home this weekend." "Well, life was hard then." "You know it wasn't unusual for a woman your age to be married and have a kid." "Hey Jenny, can I talk to you outside?" "It's important." "Alone?" "that's forbidden." "Don't worry, no harm will come of it." "Do you see that!" "It's disgusting" "I can't stand this," "Jenny is going to be so sorry." "where are you going?" "To channel my anger into something productive." "But before I tell you this you have to promise not to repeat it." "Upon my soul." "I could get put in the stocks for this but you look really cute in that outfit." "Thanks, so do you." "Ah-a-a-a!" "unless ye be married there will be no holding of hands." "eez, ye be really into this." " What was that?" " It came from the attic." "Libby, what's wrong?" "She did this to me!" "Jenny's specter flew in through the window and braided my hair." " Why?" " To make me look dorky." "Her spirit also threw my shoes out the window and I'll prove it." "There!" "See what Jenny's stupid specter did to my shoes." "I wasn't lying, that's proof." "Of what?" "That Jenny's card says witch." "That's ridiculous, Jenny's not a witch." "True or false, the puritans would have taken these allegations very seriously." "That's right, so as puritans you have a choice." "You can either deal with the witch accusation or.." "go back to your chores." " I saw Jenny with the devil!" " I saw Jenny with the devil!" "I saw Jenny with the devil!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "Hey guys, what's going on?" "Come on, run." "Witch!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "What was that all about?" "They think you're a witch." "Really?" "Cool." "Maybe in some circumstances but not right now." "So just tell me, did your card say witch?" "Nope, townsperson." "Great." "Then you're off the hook, just show it to them." "I can't." "I spit my gum out in it." "How could you?" "That's what the wrappers for!" "Why are you getting so worked up?" "Because they're persecuting you and if they can do this to you, they could do it to anyone." "It's just a game." "Yeah but what if you were a witch and this wasn't a game?" "Goody Kelly, you're wanted in the meeting house." "It's time for you trial." "Why couldn't we have just recreated thanksgiving?" "Let's begin the trial." "Bring in the accused witch, Jennifer Kelly." "Cold!" "Cold!" "She's making me cold!" "Cold!" "Cold!" "Oh put a sweater on!" "All right." "Jennifer Kelly, you are accused of being a witch." " Do you confess it?" " No." "But didn't your specter twist Goody Chessler hair and toss her shoes?" "No, I'm pretty sure my specter was with me the whole time." "Where were you?" "You weren't in the dining hall when Libby screamed." "She was with Adam, unescorted." "How unseemly." "We were just talking." " About what?" " I... can't say," " I've been sworn to secrecy." " There are no secrets from the court." "Then ask Jill if that's her real nose." "Jill's nose is not on trial here." "You will tell the court what you were discussing Jenny or be held in contempt." "Do with me what you may," "I will not betray a trust." "That's enough." "I'm really proud of the way you stood up to everyone Jenny." "Thanks." "Did they find the key yet?" "No." "Man, I wish I really was a witch." "I'd zap open these stocks and broomstick it outa here." "Hey there's Adam." "I'll go talk to him." "Tis a providence you're here." "Where've you been?" "Walking in the woods." "What happened to Jenny?" "She's been accused of being a witch." "They've put her in the stocks because she won't tell the court what you were talking about." "Your secrets safe with me." "I'll tell the court" " ye will not suffer on my account." " No don't!" "Besides, they would have found out Monday." "We have new evidence." "Adam will testify." "What say ye?" "Mr. Pool, today at lunch I did speak with Jenny." "Then what was the nature of your conversation?" "This is kinda hard for me but" "I've decided to quit baseball." "What!" "But you're our best short stop, why would you do that?" "Witchcraft!" "Witchcraft!" "No, no!" "I just wanted to spend more time on my studies." "Jenny has witched him, she's turned a man against sport." "Don't blame Jenny, blame coach." "He's insane." "Witchcraft!" "Witchcraft!" "Listen to yourselves." "You've no proof Jenny's a witch." "We have no proof she isn't either and that's good enough for me." "But that's ridiculous you could say that about anyone in this room." "Aw!" "She's pinching me!" "She's pinching me!" "Jenny, stop pinching Libby." "Not Jenny, Sabrina." "What!" "I'm not doing anything!" "Yes you are." "Aw!" "She has a witch card." "Sabrina is a witch!" "Me?" "A witch?" "That's ridiculous." "So you deny it?" "Bem, eu..." "Well I..." "I'm not even gonna to dignify that with an answer." "Because you're a witch." " Stop saying that!" " Witch!" " Careful or I'll..." " What?" "Hex me?" "Witch!" "Libby, you don't know what you're talking about." "I think right now the only witch in this room is..." "You!" "What just happened?" "I can explain it." "You can?" "Oh good." "Yes, er I may be wearing funny clothes but I'm still a science teacher and what we just saw was ball lightning." "A very rare and unusual phenomenon." "Aren't we lucky?" "Lucky?" "It almost killed me!" "But it didn't." "Let the record show, it didn't." "I think that's enough for today." "Tomorrow there'll be more candle making, cow milking and the trial of Sabrina." "Hello aunt Zelda!" "Oh Sabrina, we were just sitting down to chilli." "Everythingsgoingcrazy, Idon'tlikeitanymore, youhavetocomegetme!" "Sabrina, slow down." "You're hard enough to understand when you're not agitated." "I want you to come get me." "Don't you like Salem?" "No, please come get me." "What's going on?" "I'll tell you when you come get me and don't fly, drive." "You two arriving on vacuums is not gonna help." "We have to go, Sabrina needs us." "Oh, All right." "Sorry guys." "Salem, you're in charge." "Yes!" "Control, chilli," "I have it all!" "I still don't get why you're taking off." "There's just something about this town." "Oh there are my aunts." "Well, it's been fun." "Bye Harvey." "Come on, stay." "I can't, sorry." "See ya Monday." "Hi Sabrina." "We would have been here sooner but your aunt drives like an eight hundred year old lady." "Well, let's hit the road." "Not so fast." "What's going on?" "Well we've been doing this role playing game." "Well that sounds like fun." "No it's not." "People think I got a witch card, they've accused me of being a witch." "I tell you, this town needs a disco." "Well do you have the witch card?" "I don't know, I didn't even look at mine and I have no idea where it is." "This is new. mortals have been accusing each other for centuries but I think this may be the first time they actually got a real witch." "It's supposed to be a game but it doesn't feel like one to me." "They think being a witch is a bad thing." "Oh you know it isn't." "So then why can't I tell people I am one for real." "It's not a good idea." "Trust me, they won't understand." "Well they almost found out today." "I came this close to blowing my cover and if I take the stand tomorrow" "I can't honestly claim my innocence" " and then what?" " Sabrina, calm down." "There's a lesson to be learned here and you're going to stay and learn it." "You're not going to take me home?" "No." "Can you at least give me a hint of what the lesson is?" "It's about accepting who you are." "I don't know who I am," "I lost my card." "You don't need a card to tell you who you are." " That's right." " What's right?" "You know what's right, and now it's time for us to go home to our chilli." "And everything will be fine." "So you drove an hour to give me some vague platitudes?" "That's what being a parent is." "You'll thank us when you're forty." "Not if they hang me I wont." "I'm really glad you stayed." "How could I miss doing chores and standing trial?" "Harvey, can I ask you a question?" "Is it about my feelings?" "Yes." "Okay." "If I were a witch would you still like me?" "You got the witch card!" "No, forget about the game." "What if I were a real witch?" "Would you have supernatural powers?" " Yep." " How could I not like that?" "So, what kinda things would you do?" "Hmm!" "I might turn Libby into a goat, or change my clothes a lot, or make a giant flaun." "That's all?" "Wouldn't you wanna do cooler stuff?" "Like what?" "Like, create a big, freaky machine that could fly, or make... pizza, or." "See?" "it's not so easy." "Sabrina... it's time for your trial." "Wish me luck." "Is my bonnet on straight?" " All set." " Great." "The cart will be here in a moment." "Witch!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "Witch!" "Hey, watch it with the cabbage" "Itchy!" "Itchy!" "She's making us itchy" " Itchy!" " Wearing wool, we're all itchy!" "We will continue with the trial of Goody Spellman." "Goody Chessler has accused you of being a witch." "Do you confess it?" " Yep." " You do?" "U-hu, I'm a witch but I lost my card, so I guess I'm not a card carrying witch." "Ha-ha-ha but I am a witch." "All right then er, I guess that's it." "Er, just sign this confession and we'll begin shunning you." "Wait!" "What are you saying?" "You're not a witch." "That was a false confession." "Harvey, I have no problem saying I'm a witch." "But I know it's not true." "I mean, look at this face." "Is this the face of a witch?" "No" "Witches are horrible, ugly things and they melt when you throw water on them." "Look!" "See?" "She's still there." "Thanks Harvey, but what you just described is a stereotype." "I mean how do you know witches are ugly," " have you ever seen one?" " No." "Well maybe you fear witches because you've never met any." "Yes witches are different from mortals but different isn't bad." "I mean maybe there are witches among us right now but we're so close minded, they can't tell us who they are and we're the ones missing out because if we just accepted witches maybe there'd be a big pizza party right now." "So I ask you, can we accept witches?" "No!" "No!" "Down with witches." "Aunt Hilda was right." "Order!" "Order!" "That was a lovely speech Sabrina but the bus will be here soon and it's time for the group to pass judgement on you and Jenny." "Please stand before us." "Goody Kelly, you have been accused of being a witch and have been given a chance to defend yourself." "Who here believes Jenny has a witch card?" "Take that as a yes." "Oh man, is this going on my record?" "Goody Spellman, you have been accused of being a witch and have been given a chance to defend yourself." "Who here believes Sabrina has a witch card?" "The mob has spoken." "The court finds Jenny guilty of being a witch but is letting Sabrina off for lack of enthusiasm." "But I confessed," "I confessed!" "Nice try Sabrina." "No one can accept you're a witch." "Oh they are never getting a pizza party now." "So how will Jenny be punished?" "Libby, we're not going to punish Jenny." "After what her specter put me through?" "Well if it makes you feel any better you can pretend we hanged her." "That's not good enough." "Well shouldn't she at least have to sit in the stocks until the bus comes?" "I mean she's a witch and we hate witches." "Whoo, I'm cold." "I'm really cold." " Aren't you guys?" " No." "Maybe I'm a little chilly." "Oh!" "I just got a wet willy!" "This is witchcraft!" "Libby, you're taking this too far." "But you have to believe me." "Ahhh!" "There's a monkey on my shoulder!" "There's a monkey on my shoulder!" "Get it off me!" "Get it off me!" "Libby, there's no monkey on your shoulder." "Okay look," "I was making it up before but now I really see a monkey." "Did you hear that?" "She was making it up." "Of course I was." "So you confess, you were just pretending to be cold and itchy and dorky?" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Now can we please deal with the monkey on my shoulder?" "In a second." "First, given new evidence that Libby was making stuff up we will reverse Jenny's conviction." "My specter and I thank you." "And for perjury Libby will spend the day in the stocks until the bus comes." "Don't you see him?" "He's wearing a fez and saying ook!" "Ook!" "Ook!" "I think my mom really gonna like this home made butter." "I got a kitchen witch for my aunts." "Oh no, my nose is itchy!" "I'll help you out there buddy." "Oh, I just hit the bottom of the well." "I hope you enjoyed your stay at Salem but before we get on the bus" "I wanna let you in an a secret." "What we've been studying is not just seventeenth century life but human nature." "The persecution, the hysteria of three hundred years ago arose again today and all it took was an idea planted in your head." "The idea that someone different was among you." "It wasn't just an idea," "I did see a monkey." "And that's what hysteria can do to you." "So who did have the witch cards?" "No one had the witch card." "Every single card said 'townsperson'" "I didn't create the witches, you did." "Now think about that on the ride home." "So, should we do the last seven bottles or go back to ninety-nine?" "I don't know." "I'm just going to sleep the whole way back." "So that's where my card went, my proof was here the whole time." "'WITCH'" "A kitchen witch!" "Sabrina, thank you, that was very thoughtful." "We'll hang it over the cauldron." "I thought you'd like it." "So are you glad that you stayed at Salem?" "Yeah." "It was a pretty freaky weekend though." "but you guys were right." " I learned a lesson." " What lesson?" "The lesson." "Oh, that lesson." " I'll get more pie." " Wait!" "don't get up." "It's so good to be home and be myself again."