"I told you two months ago." "I told you I was finished with this case." "I meant it then, and I mean it now!" "I'm finished!" "Come in, doctor." "Come in, come in, come in, come in, come in." "I'm sorry." "But I'm off the case." "And I don't want to argue about it." "I've heard everything you had to say." "I don't wanna talk about it." " I just wanna tell you that I'm finished." " What happened now?" " Nothing's happened." " Obviously something has." "Nothing's happened now that hasn't been happening for the past 71/2 months." "I'm not sure why I'm so calm this morning, but at any rate..." "If I go on with this kid, he's gonna have me running up walls." "I tell you, time and time and time again I bring him to the point where I think I can do something with him and every single time I run into this hatred." "Now, the boy hates me." "You don't understand how deeply he hates." "I understand." "That's his problem." "Oh, I know it's his problem." "Believe me." "I know that." "But you've got 14 psychiatrists on this staff, and two are Negroes and one of them should be down there with that boy and not me." "The boy is 13 years old." "His mother was a prostitute who brought home white men." "His father was hanged by white men for killing a white man his mom brought home." "God only knows I respect you." "And I respect your experience." "But, doctor, in this case your reasoning is wrong." "Dead wrong." "It's not wrong." "I spoke with the patient last week." "In my judgment, it is essential, having undertaken this case that you see it through." " Don't you think I know that?" "What do you think has been keeping me going on this case for 71/2 months without getting anywhere?" "!" " Easy." "I'm sorry." "But this boy's got me over a barrel in a way that..." "I don't eat." "I just don't eat." "And I don't remember the last time I've been able to sleep." "And I feel like hell." "I..." "You have a job to do." "I never heard anyone describe it as an easy one." "No!" "No, if failing with that boy means that I've failed on this job then I've failed." "But you're taking me off as of now." "And suppose I don't remove you from the case?" "Well, then, I'm through." "And I mean that." "And I don't care." "You're really serious, aren't you?" "I'm sorry, doctor, that I've gotten excited but I just can't handle it." "I'm serious." "I thought for quite a while about putting Smith or Harris on this case because they are Negroes, but I didn't for just one reason:" "I have more confidence in you than in either one of them." "They're good, but they're not quite as good as you are." "And I do understand how you feel." "I do understand how you feel." "I quit my job one time and it was the first really good job I ever had." "Prison psychiatrist in a federal penitentiary." "Sit down." "The case that had me over a barrel came in in 1942." "Twenty-nine years old, Caucasian and sentenced to three years for sedition." "Okay, whatever you say, doc." "See you tomorrow." "I was working on 40 or 50 cases at the time, and it was 20 years ago." " All right." " But I remember." "I remember the time he walked into my office as if it were yesterday." "Sit down." "No, on second thought, keep laughing." "Just stand there and keep laughing." "They told me you don't like answering questions." "You got a job to do." "Go ahead and do it." " Exactly what do you think my job is?" " What do you think I think?" "I'm not insane, if that's what you're trying to find out." "According to this information you've done some mighty strange things." "That's your opinion." "Do you really believe all those things you've been doing and saying?" "You really do, don't you?" "Enough to go to jail for it." "If a man won't take some risk for what he believes in either his opinions are no good or he's no good." "Which is it with you?" "Look, let's not get personal." "Are you a doctor, or aren't you?" " My job is to find out exactly..." " I don't care what your job is." " I don't even care what you think." " Why not?" "Because you're a Negro." "So finish asking your questions and let me get out of here." "You can go anytime you like." "But before you go tell me, what have you got against us Negroes?" " You really want to know?" " I really want to know." "What do you got against us whites?" "There's your answer." "Now that Jews put that cripple in the White House, you people think you got it made." "I suppose so." "Okay." "You got me in here." "There's nothing I can do about that." "You can ask me all the questions you want, you can even write down that I'm crazy." "But you can't keep me in here forever." "I don't know about that." "Shouldn't be too difficult to get you committed when your sentence expires." "After all, I've got it made." "And since they've got that cripple in the White House should be easy to get a couple of my colleagues a couple of Jew psychiatrists, to certify you insane." "You're trying to needle me, huh?" "Just trying to get to know you." "Tell me, do you really feel what you believe?" " What do you mean?" " Well what you say about the government and Jews and Negroes." "Most of it." "And the rest?" "Politics." "And you really expect to win like that?" "Look what it's gotten you so far." "Oh, that was a predictable setback, I'd say." "After all, Hitler had his." "He wrote Mein Kampf in prison, you know." "Do you intend to write your memoirs?" "Maybe." "What do you expect to do when you get out?" "Same thing I did before." "Advocate the violent overthrow of the government." "Not necessarily violent." "It'll depend on the American people." "In the meantime, I plan to read and prepare myself for the future." "I understand you have a marvelous library here." "I was somewhat ashamed of the way I had conducted that first interview." "I certainly did not feel I had been objective." "I had to admit to myself that I was disappointed when I found that he was to be confined for a short time." "For everything about the man, everything he believed and stood for alienated me, repelled me." "Curious, I thought, how detached and even tolerant I could be with the murderers and thieves I treated every day." "But with him..." "Well, any more questions?" "Oh, I see." "You're studying me." "Well, go ahead." "How about a closer look?" "You want me to take my clothes off?" "More on the basis of his history than the interview I decided he was a psychopathic personality." "He was paranoid, aggressive, antisocial." "And because he was a leader type, he might become a focal point for the impressionable inmates." "I recommended that he be quartered alone under maximum security precautions to prevent him from spreading his ideas." "Okay, let's have it. 'Round and 'round we go." "Let him go!" "Let him go." "I'll give you a good reason for not liking Jews." "Break it up!" "Break it up!" " Break it up!" " What happened?" "This big man's been picking on this little man..." " Who started it?" "!" " I did!" "And don't you forget that, big man!" "He's been making trouble since he got here." "I'm not surprised." "I just had a brief talk with him, and that was enough." "How would you like a longer talk?" "I wouldn't." "I don't think I could be of help right now." "Why not?" "There's little I can do without cooperation, and he didn't seem very cooperative to me." " What do you expect us to do with him?" " I don't know." "Look, let's just wait a while and see what happens." "But if there's more trouble, you're stuck with him." " How's that?" " Thanks a lot." "That's the spirit." "Keep smiling, I always say." "Yeah, well, whatever you always say." " I'll see you later." " Okay." "Where were we?" "There doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong." "I can't sleep." "For the past week I've..." "Keep breathing deeply." "Can't you give me some sleeping pills?" "Not unless I find some reason for it." "All right, you can put your shirt back on." "What am I gonna do, then?" "If you can't sleep, there must be some reason for it." "Right?" "I suppose so." "Well, that's what we're going to find out." "Take your time." "What can I do for you?" "I didn't ask to come here, so let's not play any games." "Your answers are probably on those cards." "What I've learned from this is that there's nothing organically wrong with you that you have occasional blackout spells and that you find it difficult to fall asleep." "That's enough, isn't it?" "What's that "what can I do for you" routine?" "I didn't ask you what was wrong with you." "I wanted to know if you thought I could help you, if you'd let me help you." "Help me, huh?" "Look who's calling the kettle black." "Who ever heard of a Negro psychiatrist, anyway?" "Don't you people have enough troubles?" "Boy, you must be a real masochist." "Why can't a Negro be a psychiatrist?" "He can." "Yeah, he can." "But where is he gonna get his patients outside of a federal penitentiary?" "Psychiatry is an expensive thing, and your people can't afford it, you know." "So the best you can be is a prison psychiatrist in the worst office they've got." "You want to help me?" " Why don't you just help yourself." " What do you mean?" "This isn't the place for you." "All you people are trying to be white and respectable." "Want to be doctors, psychiatrists." "Why don't you wise up?" "How would I do that?" "Go back to Africa." " What about those blackout spells?" " What about them?" " Can you describe them?" " I just wanna sleep." "Can't you give me some pill?" "You were sent to me because the physicians don't think you need medicine." "Really?" "What do they think you can do?" "That depends on how willing you are to cooperate." "When I ask you something, I don't do it to pry." "I need the information to help you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "I know what psychiatry is." "Then you should let me try to help you sleep." "Okay, doctor you go ahead and you make me sleep." "Can you describe those blackout spells?" " I suppose I can try." " Well, try." "Well, at first, I get a little sick to my stomach." "Then I feel like something's coming down at me, and I can't breathe or see." " Then it's over." " What?" "What is that "something"?" "I don't know." " Do you have nightmares when you sleep?" " Look, I just wanna sleep." "During these spells, do you feel like you'll fall?" " No." " Have you ever fainted in your life?" " Once." " When?" "When I was a kid." "Oh, no." "I ain't answering none of your spooky questions." "Hold your head down." "Down." "Do you feel unusually good or unusually bad a day or so before an attack?" "During an attack, do you feel strange sensations in your body accompanied by flashes of light or color with strange sounds?" "Do you feel your legs and body stiffen?" "Do you feel as if your breathing has stopped?" "You see, I had the same thing once." "Can you help me?" "I don't know." "I'll have to know more about you." "After several extremely slow and difficult months of analysis there finally came a knowledge a beginning." "He was an only child." "And his conception, he soon found out, was the only cause for the sudden and bitter marriage that followed." "His father was a butcher." "He was quick to anger and hard to please." "His vigor, it seemed, was constantly replenished by drink and by a vengeful resentment he felt toward his son." "I wouldn't cry." "I promised myself I wouldn't cry." "Why not?" "Because I didn't wanna be like her." "His mother was a weak and sickly woman." "Soon after the birth of her son, unable to take the strain of her husband's abuse she began to spend most of her time in bed from where she would fill the house with her groans and complaints." "As far back as he could remember, he had reluctantly been the sole object of her affections." "How long is this gonna take?" "I just wanna sleep." "All I wanna do is sleep." "You may leave anytime you like." "Within a few years after his parents moved into a new middle-class neighborhood He had learned to play by himself." "The neighborhood mothers cautioned their kids not to play with him." "And he, in turn, as a defense, pretended that his loneliness was something special and of his own making." "It wasn't." "It was due to his father, who had by then become something of a legend in the district." "His drunken ritual was known to all who were within hearing distance as he came home late." "Singing raucously and swearing obscenities." "What's the matter?" "!" "Just made the butcher mad!" "Do you hear me?" "!" "Can you hear me?" "!" "Oh, stop!" "Please, stop!" ""Stop it!" "Stop it!" What's the matter?" "Can't you stand a little fun?" "I always seemed to know what to do." "But the funny part of it was I never really felt sorry for her." " Why didn't you?" " I don't know." " Don't you feel sorry for weak people?" " Guess I don't." " Why not?" " Why should I?" "They're the first ones to resent pity anyway." "As a matter of fact, I admire a weak man who competes." "A weak man who competes becomes a strong man." "Stronger, in fact, because he has to overcome all the odds against him." " Do you really believe that?" " Don't you?" "That's a funny question coming from a Negro." "Why do you say that?" "Do you think of Negroes as weak men competing against all odds?" "Well, do you?" " I don't think of them as inferior." " You don't?" "Not where they belong." "Not in Africa." "I see." "But here you think they are inferior." " That's right." " But you admire them for competing." "You just said so." "Okay, if you wanna look at it that way, yes." "I suppose you feel the same way about Jews." " Yeah, in a more subtle way." " What do you mean?" "Well, they're more dangerous." "Why?" "Because they pass for white and they're smarter." "You used the word "dangerous. ' '" "Exactly what is endangered?" "The purity of the white Christian stock." "Tell me, when you were a child did you know any Negroes or Jews?" "Well, I didn't know any Negroes." "I'm sure of that." "I'm not so sure about the Jews, though." "But I didn't have many friends when I was a kid, anyway." "Didn't you have any friends?" "Sure I did." "Cut off from ordinary social contacts and forced in upon himself at an early age he subsequently developed an imaginary playmate." "With this creature of his own making, he strove to achieve some of the satisfactions which were denied him in reality." "Satisfactions that weren't always proper, yet sharply revealing." "Clean my shoes." "Clean my shoes!" "I said, clean my shoes!" "Let's play." "One, two, three!" "Are you my friend?" "You gonna listen to me?" "No matter what I tell you to do, are you gonna listen to me?" "More than your father?" "If I tell you something and your father does too, who will you listen to first?" "I don't believe you, you're lying!" "Come here." "Come over here by me." "Right here." "Soon after he began school, his playmate died." "Not all at once, of course, but slowly dissolving into the fog of memory where forgotten things disappear." "In school, he drew attention to himself as a leader of daring recklessness followed by new playmates from the undisciplined element to wage the small, anarchistic war he conducted against the school authorities." "And yet, despite his attitude, he progressed in his schoolwork." "He had an alert and facile mind, nourished by a surprising gift for immediate concentration." "And, had his conduct been closer to average he probably would have been his school's prize scholar." ""It just dropped out of my hands." "I shouldn't have gotten up." "I'm sorry." "Help me back. "" "I'd help her, then she'd start in again with her complaints." ""I'm shivering, I'm really cold." "It isn't cold in here, is it?" "Why do I feel so cold?"" "I wouldn't answer her most of the time." "I wanna go pick up the cherries." "But she'd wanna... "Kiss me first." "You're the only one." "The only one. "" "Then, of course, she'd have it again, her "cramp. "" "Always the "same place. "" "And she'd start to beg again. "Please." "Please help me." "Please?" "Oh, yes." "That's it. "" "And then it would be all right. "That's better." "You're such a strong little boy." "And you have such strong hands. "" "And she'd go on and on." ""I don't know how you do it." "Yes." "You're the only one. "" "The only one." "The only one." "Eventually, he began to spend most of his time in vengeful daydreaming." "Out of voracious and romantic reading, he constructed gory fantasies in which he got even with everybody." "His favorite daydream was the one in which he fancied himself an Eastern potentate." "In this particular fantasy, two features are most interesting" "First, it set the pattern for his sexual life through the aggressiveness with which he fulfilled his desires and imposed his will on others, irrespective of their wishes." "The second was paradoxical, for in reality he could not stand the sight of blood with which his fantasies were filled." "It meant his father and his father's trade." "During vacations, he sometimes would have to help out in the shop where he was put in charge of the cash register, since he was dexterous and quick with figures." "But he was filled with apprehension if he had to touch or even look at the meat." "And to watch his father prepare it was literally unbearable for him." "His father would occasionally taunt him about it until, on a particularly busy day he asked him to cut up a piece of liver." "By the time he was 15, he had left home, never to return again." "I didn't say goodbye." "I didn't take any clothes, except for what I was wearing." "Just took off." "Where did you go?" "Here, there, everywhere, I guess." "Just roamed around working at all sorts of odd jobs." "Anything I could get, I took." " Sounds pretty rough for a boy that age." " Believe me, it was." "Some of the things I had to do weren't fit for a white man." " Sorry, what I meant to say was that..." " It's all right, go on." "Look, I said I was sorry." "What do you expect me to do, smile?" "Let's not make a thing out of it." "You can appreciate that I apologized." "I do, I do." "But you make it sound like an achievement." "It is for me." "Look, you wanna go on with this?" "Sure." "Why not?" "It's a great pastime." "It is obvious you think I'm hypersensitive about my color." "It is also obvious you think you can hurt me by it." "Let me fill you in." "I'm a doctor." "I'm here to help you." "You want help, fine." "You don't want help, take off." "Those are the rules." "You take them or leave them." "All right." "Now, where were we?" "I've worked with guys who were sadistic killers who were more human than this guy." " Now, take it easy." " You can afford to be objective." "It's easy to become personally involved in a case like this." "That's right, that's why I say I shouldn't handle it." "Believe me, I have tried to be objective." "I don't think you have." "For instance, you can't take his needling, although it's one of his symptoms." "Maybe I just can't handle it." "Look, ever since you've started here, you've proved me right." "I grant you, I felt I was fighting a noble cause when I insisted on hiring you." "You were a good man." "You had a good record." "I liked the way you spoke." "But underneath I wasn't so sure." "Apart from taking the responsibility of giving the job to a Negro I couldn't dismiss the possibility that I could've been wrong." "That you might not live up to my expectations which could've been unpleasant for both of us." "But you did." "Not only did you justify my expectations, but you surpassed them." "Yes, you did." "The staff feels the same way." "Now, don't tell me you're going to let me down." ""Just because you're a Negro" is what he didn't say." "Just before the Depression I got a job as a hod carrier with a traveling construction crew." "It was rough, but it was the best job I ever had." " How old were you then?" " Old enough." "But none of them knew how young I really was." "They just knew I was smarter." "After a while, they started listening to me, and eventually they even obeyed me." "We were a hell of a crew." "We had some fights, yeah, but sometimes some very funny things happened." "Like what?" "Oh, funny things." " Do you know what tic-tac-toe is?" " It's a game, isn't it?" " Did you ever play it?" " When I was a kid." "We played it once." "But I mean really played." "What do you mean, "really" played it?" "Well, you'd have to understand how it was." "We'd been in this one town for two weeks, and this particular night was our last night." "Anyway, we were working until our backs were broken and our arms were falling off." "It was a crummy little speakeasy outside a nothing town full of nothing people." "It was run by a little guy and his wife." "He said it was his wife, but she was making more money than he was." "They were nothing." "You know what I mean, nothing people." "Anyway, we started drinking early, knowing we'd never see the place again." "Hey, quit that." "That's a bar." "Here, you wanna play?" "I'll give you some paper." "Come on, play with me." "You're getting soft." "What you need is some exercise." "That's it, I'm gonna give everybody some exercises." "I'm gonna give your husband some exercises." "You wanna play, Pete?" "Are you crazy?" "You're ruining that bar." "You know how much that bar cost me?" "You just stand there and be quiet and make sure Pete don't cheat." "You're the umpire." "And you you're the umpire's wife." "Are you crazy?" "What are you gonna do?" "I'm gonna play tic-tac-toe." "It's your turn." "It's your turn." "It's your turn." "It's your turn." "It's your turn." "Can't play in here anymore." "Ain't no more room." " Hey, let's go outside." " Yeah." " Lots of room to play outside." " That's a good idea." " Come on." "Everybody outside, everybody." " Sounds like a good idea." " Lots of room out here." " Yeah, let's go." "You'll pay for this." "I swear to God, you'll pay for this." "Come here." "I'm gonna tell you what I want you to do." "I want you to go behind that bar and lie down and go to sleep." "Don't make a sound." "Close your eyes." "Everybody closes his eyes when he goes to sleep." "And you can thank your smart lady for my being so nice." "Turn around a minute." "In all those many months there'd been times when I was uneasy, times when I was repelled but that was the point at which I became frightened." "And the really frightening thing was that I wasn't sure just what I was frightened of." "We tic-tac-toed everything." "Have you ever had a girl?" "Are you kidding?" " I mean a steady girl." " Not for long." "What I mean is, have you ever had a meaningful emotional experience with a woman that wasn't entirely physical?" " Yeah, once, kind of." " What do you mean, "kind of"?" "Around the time of the Depression, I met someone." " Were you working then?" " No." "No, the whole crew had to break up." "There was no work." "No construction, no nothing." "Anyway, I wound up in the city and that was no improvement." "How'd you manage there?" "Guess." " Not selling apples?" " Yeah, I was selling, all right." "But they weren't buying." "Not much, anyway." " What about the girl?" " That's where I met her." " Right there in the street?" " Yeah." "She wanted some apples." "But, you know, I think she felt sorry for me or something because after I filled up one bag, she asked for another." "And then another." "She bought all I had, just like that, without hesitation." "I didn't have a large bag, so I had to put the whole thing in four smaller ones." "She was awful nice, very polite." "It looked like she was gonna need some help, so I offered her some." "She didn't live very far." "On the way, we talked about apples and how good they are for you and all that." "She seemed really interested in what I was talking about." "As if everything I said was something important." "And, you know, I even made her laugh." "Suddenly we were there, in front of her house." "I carried the apples in for her." "It was one of those brownstones, you know." "But this one was all clean and painted white." "Her father was in the living room." "She introduced me from the hallway." "And then she asked me to wait while she took the apples into the kitchen." "I just stood there looking around, enjoying the warmth." "You should've seen the place." "Paintings." "Chandeliers." "Carved wood furnishings." "It looked just like a picture out of one of those high-class magazines." "You'd never know there was a depression outside." "Anyway, she came back from the kitchen looking into her bag." "I suddenly realized she asked me to wait because she wanted to tip me." "I just couldn't take it." "I'd never met anybody that kind before." "Or since." "The next day was freezing, and the man selling roasted chestnuts was in business." "Suddenly I saw her in the small crowd surrounding him." "She'd just bought a large cone when she saw me." "She saw me and smiled." "She didn't just smile, she came over and offered me some chestnuts." "We just stood there behind my apples, eating chestnuts and smiling looking at each other." "All of a sudden, she saw something across the street." "It was her father." "He must have been passing by." "He sure looked mad." "He called out to her, but she didn't move." "She stood right by my side." "Her father then turned and walked away, furious, down the street." "She didn't seem to care." "She kept on looking right into my eyes." "But I mean right into them." "And then she simply asked me if I liked her." "I didn't know what to say." "I just nodded." "She said if I would shave and look as neat as I could she'd be happy if I would call on her that evening at 8/00." "That is, if I cared to." "I just couldn't believe it." "I wanted to thank her, but before I realized it, she was gone down the street." "I couldn't understand why she would be interested in a bum like me." "But I shaved, and I tried to look as neat as I could." "And at 8 that evening, I was knocking at her door." "I waited for some time." "He's very nice." "And then I heard some voices arguing inside." " He's not a tramp!" " I tell you that he's a tramp." " I can..." " He's not, and I'm going out with him!" "Suddenly the door opened." "Her father appeared between us and made it clear that I wasn't good enough for her." "Very clear." "When did you join the Nazi party?" "I never joined the Nazi party." "Well, the Bund or whatever you call it." "It's called the German-American Bund." "Look, what does this have to do with my being unable to sleep?" "I don't know." "Why?" "The Depression?" "For who?" "For the oppressed?" "For you?" "For me?" "For millions of other good, white, Christian" " Americans?" "Yes." "But..." "But is it depressing for everybody?" "Is it depressing for them?" "With their money, they feel they're the chosen ones." "You can see it when they drive in their long cars on their way to the international bank." "They think they're the chosen ones, all right." "With their fat wives in fur coats." "Fur coats." "Well, they have to keep warm, don't they?" "It's been a cold winter." "They don't have to tell us that." "What do they have to tell us?" "What do they try to tell us?" "They're trying to tell us to crucify him." "They're telling us to take the nails and crucify him." "By the power and the glory, haven't they done enough?" "Crucify him?" "Why?" "Because they're afraid of him." "They're afraid of us." "Crucify him?" "I say salute him." "Salute him!" "He's the one who'll save us from those who own the banks who own the newspapers who own the White House." "Because I am not one of the chosen I say salute Adolf Hitler!" "At that point, I knew my primary concern was not with the welfare of my patient but with the question of whether he was making any sense and how many people there were in this world to whom he would make sense." "For, although psychopaths are a small minority, it seems significant that whenever militant and organized hate exists, a psychopath is the leader." "And if, for instance, 100 disgruntled and frustrated individuals fall in line behind one psychopath then, in essence, we are concerned with the actions of 101 psychopaths." "Assuming that it has no direct bearing on your problem are you embarrassed talking about your subversive activities?" "First, I've never done anything I've been ashamed of." "Second, I've only done what I believe was right." "That, in my book, can't be called subversive." "It's a cause, just like any other." "I don't expect you to understand." "Being a Negro, you're biased." "But you take the ordinary man now, he's lost." "He has no real leader." "He wants a leader." "He wants a lot of things he doesn't have and doesn't know how to get." "But most of all, he wants an excuse to get them." "A cause." "And that's where you come in." "No." "No, that's where you come in." "No offense intended." "You see, we need you." "Where there's no definite enemy, why, we create one." "People need one to blame things on." "So you see, you're the secret weapon." "You're the cause to unite against." "You and the Jews, more than anybody else, will be responsible for our triumph." "And just how do you intend to bring about this triumph?" "With people." "Take 10 people who believe in your cause." "Five of those bring a friend." "Now there are 15." "They chip in, get a little hall, do a little public speaking." "Now, out of, say, 100 people, 20 come over and ask questions." "Suddenly, you're 35." "Thirty-five dues-paying people." "Now those 35 dues-paying people bring friends." "And their friends bring friends." "Some don't have any jobs so you tell them why they don't have jobs and their kids are hungry." "Then they bring their kids." "And their kids are beautiful." "And you love their kids, and you hate those few who don't." "Soon you create interest." "Interest draws people people bring money, and money means a little organization." "There you are." "It gives you power." "And power creates fear." "Fear creates hate." "And hate creates the enemy, and the enemy fights back." "Fighting back creates more interest." "Right here, ladies and gentlemen." "Right here." "Get it right here." "Believe me, if it wasn't for the war, we'd be running things right now." "You make it sound so easy." "Go ahead and laugh." "Laugh, and you won't hear us coming." "And you found many who believed in your cause?" "With the help of a syndicated columnist, among others." "He won us the support of industrialists ranging from Detroit manufacturers to giant oil corporations." "We even got some movie people from Hollywood on our side." "Before you knew it, we were buying radio time." "We had camps teaching American boys and girls of German descent the qualities of leadership." "We sent some of them to Germany to get acquainted." "Mein Kampf was required reading in every camp." "I thought it interesting that the man who could not stand blood now screamed for it." "Effective screams too, for his standards of hate and glorification of the brutal drew economic, social and psychological frustrates by the score." "I tell you, we're moving." "This thing is going." "Well, you're not moving anywhere right now in particular, are you?" "Are you kidding?" "So they stick me in here." "There were 18,000 people in Madison Square Garden the night I told you about." "Okay, they grabbed 100 and threw them in jail." "What do you think the other 17,900 are doing right this minute?" "And you think this thing can be stopped?" "That we can be stopped?" " Yes." " Well, how?" "How are you gonna stop us?" "Well, you're stopped, aren't you?" "At least temporarily." "They will be stopped." "Because everything you're driving for is founded on a lie." "A lie, huh?" "Look, can you be objective for a minute?" "I know you're handicapped, but are you capable of being really objective?" " Sometimes." " Good." "I want to tell you something." "No, in fact, I'm gonna show you something." "You say we won't get anywhere because what we're doing is founded on a lie." "Everybody talks about Hitler and the big lie as if it was a brand-new invention." "Well, tell me something." "Where will you find a bigger lie than the one this country's founded on?" ""All men are created equal. ' '" "Everything this country's supposed to live by, right?" "As far as you're concerned, Joe Miller could've written the Bill of Rights." "It's even funnier." "What do you got?" "What can you do?" "Can you walk on a bus or a streetcar and sit down with dignity like a free human being, a free man?" "You wanna see a movie, can you walk in any theater?" "Flapjacks in a window, can you say, "I'll have some of those"?" "You're a Negro with some brains, you could use a little education." "Can you go to the school where you get it best?" "You see a house you like and you've got money." "Can you live there, huh?" "You live in a ghetto." "North, East, South or West, you live where they let you live." "In Harlem, U.S.A." "Maybe you're good at some job." "Can you make something out of it?" "Can you do any of those things, doctor?" "Are your kids gonna do those things?" "Maybe." "Maybe, huh?" "Sure, they will." "Oh, yeah." "In about 5500 years." "Have they got you so beat that you don't know when somebody's making sense?" "You'd have been in Madison Square Garden if you weren't black." "Now, you hypnotized me, huh?" "Well, they got you hypnotized." "They've got you so mixed up, you're singing:" "While they walk all over you." "Right then and there I knew what I was frightened of." "Fortunately, soon after the start of the war, he, among others was arrested for advocating the violent overthrow of the United States government." "When you're about to go under, something happens." "Suddenly, you're wide awake." "Can you tell me what stops you?" "What happens?" "It's like the feeling I get when I'm gonna have one of those spells." "I get drowsy and sleepy, and then I get so frightened." " Why are you frightened?" " I feel like I'm gonna die." " Why do you feel you're going to die?" " I don't know." "Is there a mental picture?" " Is it the body in the sink?" " Yes." " Whose body is it?" "Whose could it be?" " I don't know." " You must know." " I don't!" "You mean it has no face?" "Who is it?" "Who is it?" "Exactly what happened?" " Just like the other times." " This was not like the other times." " You never had any attacks, did you?" " You're trying to avoid my question." " You lied." " You know who it is." " Who?" " The body in the sink." "Who is it?" "Who is it?" "My father." "Was the image of your father in every attack?" "No." "No." "Before, I saw myself in the sink." "Why didn't you tell me that?" "I don't know." "Did you ever want to kill your father?" "When I was a kid, I used to lie awake at night praying he would die." "And when he didn't, I'd think up ways to do it myself." "Pick him up and put him on the counter and chop him up and chop him up and chop him up!" "The way he used to treat my mama..." "I couldn't help thinking there must be a million people in the world with a similar background." "With just as bad, or worse, early childhood who managed, in spite of it, to become a normal part of society." "He hadn't." "Do you know why your father's image replaced yours?" "His image and yours are interchangeable." "One was the desire to kill your father the other was punishment for the killing carried out in your fantasies." "You were punishing yourself." "In other words, you were both the killer and the victim." "Once he understood the fantasy that haunted him and he openly recognized his hatred of his father the blackout spells that brought him to treatment quickly disappeared." "I knew that he needed further treatment." "I might have ordered him to submit to it." "I didn't." "The truth is, I had had all I could stand." "He was able to sleep and stopped coming." "It took him just one month." "Slowly but surely you've done wonders with him." "Ever since you started with him he's shown the fastest improvement I've seen." " Doesn't seem like the same man." " Thank you, gentlemen." "But I can't accept your praise." "His conduct has probably improved." "He has no more blackout spells." "Otherwise, I don't see much change." "What do you mean?" "Well, he's still a Nazi, for instance." "Really?" "He hasn't shown evidence of that for months." "That's right." "You should take credit for it." "Believe me, he still is." "Is that why you haven't given him a recommendation for parole?" "That's right." "You're the only one that hasn't, you know." " That hasn't what?" " Given him a recommendation for parole." "Really?" "He's become a model prisoner, according to the guards and his supervisors at work." "Really?" "Well, they are entitled to their opinion." "I'm asked for an opinion from a psychological point of view and according to me he's not ready for parole." "Okay." "Assuming that we can't judge him by his behavior to what extent then can we judge his mind?" "Well, that's for me to decide, isn't it?" "All right." "But let me remind you, we're not running a mental institution." "For instance, what if his personality remained unchanged, according to you until his sentence expired?" "Would you expect us to keep him here forever?" "Even then, it would still be my business, wouldn't it?" " Look here, with all due respect to you..." " You don't understand." "This man is dangerous." "You don't know him like I do." "He is dangerous." "There's no recent evidence of that." "All right." "Go ahead, release him." "But don't ask me to share the responsibility." "Now take it easy." "Take it easy." "Take it easy." "That's what they did in Germany." "They took it easy." "Aren't you taking this a little too personally?" "How do you mean that?" "Never mind." "Hey, doc, there's a good chance I might get parole this month." "I wouldn't put too much hope on your chances." " Why?" " Well, there's a war on." "So?" "You are an internal enemy." "You're gonna be asked for a recommendation soon." " What are you gonna say?" " What I think." " Well, what do you think?" " That you're not ready for it." " You mean you're going to turn me down?" " I have very little to do with it." "All I'm asked for is a statement about you from a psychological point of view." "And?" "I'll have to tell them that I don't think you're ready." "But why?" "I'm all right." "Sure, you don't have any more nightmares, and you sleep rather well." "But your personality is the same as when you came in." "What's that got to do with it?" "Everything." "Look, please." "I've got to get out of here." "All I can do is help you to remake yourself." "Why don't you remake yourself?" "I won't interfere with your parole." "But when I'm asked I'll tell them that, in my opinion, your personality remains unchanged." "You still have the same rotten ideas and notions you had 18 months ago." "Those same ideas and notions are believed in a lot of places, by a lot of people." "I grant you, none of them are Negroes." "Still, you probably want to remake them all, don't you?" "You still have the mentality of a storm trooper." "Thank you." "I take that as a compliment." "They must be pretty smart, those storm troopers." "They own Europe." "They took it over, just like that." "You know, the first thing they did was to remake Europe." "And how did they do that?" "By getting rid of certain people." "Now over here it's going to be a little different." "You know it won't only be the Jews we get rid of, don't you?" "You're gonna make it easier for us." "You won't have to wear any armband." "We're gonna spot you a mile away." "Wait a minute." "I want an apology." " You what?" " You heard me." "You don't want to get hurt." "I said, I want you to apologize." "What are you going to do if I don't?" "Call the hacks?" "You wouldn't be so brave on the outside, doctor." "I won't call the guards." "It's just the two of us." "Now, are you going to apologize?" "All right." "I apologize." "Do you know why you apologized?" "Do you want to know?" "I refused to recommend you for parole." "You took it as a personal rejection." "You felt persecuted as you did when you were a child." "And I, like anyone who rejects you, represented your hated father the person who really rejected you." "You wanted to strike back." "But I represent an authority." "So you were afraid to strike." "You decided to hurt me in a different way, by attacking me as a Negro." "You felt free from any retaliation on my part, as I had put up with it in the past." "But when I took off my coat I was no longer a symbol of authority, or even of a Negro." "Just one person." "One man stripped of everything but what he is." "And to one man it's easy to apologize, isn't it?" "We could go over this again tomorrow, in detail, if you'd like." "Sure, doc, whatever you say." "Hey, where do you think you're going?" "It's all right." "It's over." "That right, doc?" "All right." "Next." " How's it going?" " Lousy." "Now, look, considering the unusual character of the situation and the possibility of a personality clash don't you think we should have a discreet talk with the patient?" "It would clear up any doubts we might have." "Doubts?" " Speak for yourselves, gentlemen." "I don't..." " Now, wait." "You didn't seem to feel that way at lunch." "Though you have taken a personal interest in him from the beginning." "All right." "You leave me no choice." "Hello." "Hi." "I don't understand you." "You know I didn't want to handle this case." "But, no, you insisted." "You practically framed me into it with your faith in me." "Where's your faith now?" " Well, it's still there." " Really?" "I'm calling you to enlist your support for my recommendation to deny parole." "I'm staking my professional integrity on it." "Really, you don't have to..." "You don't understand." "I'm putting my job on the line." "Well, I..." "I don't know what to say." "Don't say anything." "Just think about it." "All right." "Now, what about the Jews and the Negroes?" "Well, what about them?" "How do you feel about them?" " Do you mean now or when I first got here?" " Now." "I feel I owe them an apology." "In other words, you once were prejudiced against them." "That's right." "How do you account for that?" "Well, I've changed." "Thanks to the doctor." "How do you account for him not recommending you for parole?" "I don't know." "When I asked if he would, he flatly refused me." "I couldn't believe it." "What did he say?" "Well, when he refused, I asked him if he didn't think I'd improved." "He admitted to that but said I still need further treatment." "Was he specific about why you needed further treatment?" "No, sir." "Some time ago you stopped going to him." "Isn't that right?" "That's right." "Was he the one who ended the sessions?" "No, I guess I'm the one that stopped coming." "You see, he helped me a great deal." "He explained things to me." "He made me understand a dream I was having before every attack." "Soon after, I stopped having the dream and the attacks." "Yet you say he wasn't specific about why he wanted you to continue with him?" "No." "He just said I should be patient." "He couldn't tell me what he was working towards." "But I should put myself entirely in his hands." "Yes?" " I'd like to talk to you." " Oh, come in." "This should interest you." "I've been asking your patient here a few questions." "I think you should hear this." "Sit down." "He tells us that although you feel he's improved you want him to continue with analysis." " That's right." "Why?" "We've been over this before." "Your patient has only praise for you and what you've done for him." "But he also said that you did not say specifically why you want him to have further treatment." "He's lying." "Because he has something to hide." "I am not lying!" "I tell you, he's lying." "I'm not saying he's not clever." "He's about the most clever liar I've ever seen." "Well?" "It's true." "I did insult him in the beginning." "But that was more than a year ago." "I never thought you'd hold that against me now." "But I understand now why you don't want me to get out of here." "When I first came in here I had lots of problems." "I think the doctor's got some problems of his own." "I'm not just one person to you, am I?" "I'm a symbol." "A symbol of everything you fear will destroy you." "You think I'm your enemy." "I've changed, but no matter how much I change you'll never want me to get out." "It doesn't matter that I've changed, does it?" "It's all something purely personal now." "Between him and me." "What is this?" "A trial?" "Come in." " Doctor." " What do you want?" "I'm on my way out, and I asked to see you this morning because I heard you're leaving too." "What do you want?" "Guess I came by to say no hard feelings." "I had to do it, but I wasn't trying to get you fired." " I didn't mean to cost you your job." " You didn't." "No?" "Well, then how come you're leaving?" " Look, you wouldn't understand and..." " All right." "You're sore." "You know, I don't blame you for being sore." "But you do see how things worked out, don't you?" "It's just about how I said it would be, isn't it?" "All those people you've been working with, who did they believe?" "The big black boy who's supposed to be running this place?" " Or the white Christian-American?" " You crud!" "You vicious, slimy, rotten little crud." "Let me tell you something!" "Do you know what I wanted most?" "Despite what you are and despite what you were, I wanted to help you." "I wanted to kill you." "I would enjoy to kill you right now with my bare hands." "But more than I wanted to kill you, I wanted to help you." "Know what that makes me?" "More than just a good man." "That makes me a doctor!" "Okay." "You come in here, day after day and you spout that stuff about white Christian America." "And I took it, because that was my job." "Now let me tell you something!" "This is my country." "This is where I've done what I've done!" "If there were a million cruds like you, all sick like you are sick all shouting, "Down!" "Destroy!" "Degrade!" and if there were 20 million more sick enough to listen you are still gonna lose." "You're gonna lose because there is something in this country." "Something so big, so strong that you don't even know." "Something big enough to take it from people like you and come back and nail you into the ground!" "You're walking out of here?" "You are going nowhere!" "Now get out!" "Get out!" "What happened to him?" "Do you know?" "Yes." "He was hanged about 10 years later for beating an old man to death in the streets, a complete stranger." "I'm not saying that was as difficult as the case you're dealing with." "But I am saying that it put me under as much pressure as you're under right now." "And I didn't quit." "I know how I'm gonna whip this case." "I'm getting some burned cork and I'm going into the next session blackface." "Good idea." "Only don't let me down because you're a white man."