"AD 1402, Ming Dynasty," "Emperor Jain Wen has been usurped throne by his uncle, Thu Di." "At last, he ran away to South East Asia and no one know where he actually gone." "After hundred decades, an accident happening in Pealing Street has revealing a mystery ..." "Hurry up!" "Okay." "There are two more customers waiting." "Sure, no problem." "I'm coming!" "Look at you." "All sweaty." "Gray hair?" "Never mind about it ..." "Li Chun!" "All right, I'm coming!" "Eat your mi." "Go ahead!" "I'm coming!" "Can't he come here to take it himself?" "He's just across the street. it's no big deal." "What would you like to eat?" "Wow, I'm sure they could even hold four pairs of chopsticks in between." "Can I take your order now?" "Apart from yourself, do you have anything delicious?" "We only have Hokkien mi." "Hokkien mi?" "Give us three plates." "Hey, you the cook, what is this?" "It's a bug." "Listen!" "I found this in your mi." "Oh, really?" "Then the bug must have done a lot of good deeds until I couldn't fry it to death." "Hey, how dare you get cocky with us!" "I'm sorry." "My husband hasn't taken his medicine, so he's talking nonsense." "I'll get you another plate." "Look at them." "They're not even from around here." "See?" "One is a shorty, one an old fart, and one ugly as hell." "Don't even know where they come from." "Ask not where we're from and who we are!" "The three knives are our trademark." "We are the Three Knives Gang!" "We own Petaling Street!" "So you're saying you're the bosses of Petaling Street?" "We're the biggest bosses in Petaling Street!" "Ah, congratulation!" "Let us wish you great health!" "Is it Chinese New Year already?" "We could no longer do business today." "Let's pack up and leave!" "Let's go!" "Who's the biggest boss here?" "VVho's in charge here?" "He's the person in charge." "He's the biggest boss among us." "I'm nobody." "I go first." "Oh, so you like to play?" "Come, let's have some fun too." "Du Yao!" "Don't worry!" "Just relax!" "I'd be fine!" "Wow, you two are incredible!" "You took care of the Three Knives Gang so easily." "I'm very impressed." "Thank you so much!" "Hey!" "Protection fee?" "But I already paid last week." "Protection fee is protection fee." "I'm asking for transportation fee." "Yes, I'm charging appearance fee for showing up as well." "Also, they dance and do kungfu." "All these have to be learn, and that take money too." "Oh, I almost forgot, I support my parents, and that take money as well." "Here's our token of appreciation..." "No!" "Don't give it to them!" "Du Yao!" "I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that we're not giving them a single cent." "Why should we?" "Look." "The businesses over that side give him one dollar every month." "The businesses over this side give him one dollar every month." "But our stall need to pay each of them one dollar." "Do you think it's so easy making money selling Hokkien mi?" "The problem is, your stall is right in the middle section of the street." "Yes!" "Yes what?" "Our street is only this small." "Do you know there's only one government in each country, and one emperor for each government?" "Moreover, it's useless paying you two." "You guys never show up when we really need you." "I'm the best." "Give it to me!" "Look at you." "You're fat and slow in the head." "Nobody would even notice when you're dead!" "That's true." "You should lose some weight." "Not good for your image." "Du Yao!" "Who would dare to hit me?" "Him!" "Of course it's me!" "Don't push me too far!" "He's going to punch you!" "Then I'm going to kick him!" "He's going to kick you!" "Don't force me!" "I'd get serious!" "Go ahead!" "I'm waiting!" "Fight!" "Crush them!" "How dare you laugh at me!" "It's not me!" "it's not me!" "It's not me!" "it's not me!" "it's not me!" "Ouch, that hurts!" "Are you all right?" "I'm in pain!" "Cut that out." "You'll get hurt." "Okay." "Let's go home." "What the chicken..." "This is my favorite moment every day!" "Just like a fish in water, so relaxing..." "Too bad the water smells terrible." "It's not as smelly as your feet." "I've put 108 kinds of herbs inside. it's very nourishing!" "Hey, be careful!" "You think you're preparing bakuteh?" "Great!" "Then drink it like you'd drink bakuteh." "I don't want to!" "it's so smelly yet I have to drink it every day." "It's almost as smelly as my iron underpants!" "I don't even know why I'm wearing this." "I don't see other people wearing this, why should I?" "I've told you." "The tropical weather is hot and there're bugs everywhere." "It not only prevents bug bites, it's also good for ventilation." "The other men are stupid not to wear it." "But it's very troublesome!" "Sometimes when I'm slow," "I even unload inside it." "It's your fault for coming home late!" "Then why aren't you wearing one?" "I'm wearing one!" "Where is it?" "Right here." "You hear it?" "I don't hear it." "It's right here." "My dear, actually we've been married for two years and yet we've not done it." "How about... if we do it tonight?" "No!" "Why not?" "Have you forgotten it again?" "After checking your pulse, my father said your kidneys are of different sizes." "And the bigger kidney is even smaller than what people normally have." "If we do it, you'll die." "I don't want you to die." "If we do it, I die." "If we don't do it, I also die." "I rather die after we do it." "Come on..." "No." "Please?" "No!" "I don't want to!" "When the Heavens assign great tasks to us, it shall torment our minds, and then our bodies... makes us suffer in hunger to make us weak..." "If we give up now, how can we face our forefathers?" "Let's go!" "You afraid?" "Afraid?" "Of what?" "Then why is it every time that I ask you to go to the casino, you're always reluctant?" "Come on!" "Hey, dear, since it's going to rain and there aren't many customers, why don't we close shop early and you go home and take some rest?" "Yes, after the rain, the frogs would come out and sing." "We plan to go and catch them." "Come back before dinner." "Okay!" "Let's go!" "Froggie, froggie, here we come!" "Big!" "Big!" "Big!" "I told you we should buy "small"!" "Jay Chow!" "Yes?" "I want to borrow money." "VVho's your guarantor?" "My buddy, Du Yao." "The big boss of the mi stall!" "Oh, the one who cooks Hokkien mi?" "Sure, problem!" "Take the money." "Take it." "Not enough?" "Vhf ant more?" "No problem!" "Still not enough?" "Take them all!" "The more you borrow, the more you gamble." "Take it!" "When should I return it?" "Don't worry, just take your time." "Relax!" "Just go gamble your heart out!" "No more gambling!" "Let's go!" "Wait!" "Look what we've got?" "All right!" "I'll beat you this time!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "What the chicken?" "Whatever I gambled, I'd lose." "This Sure Win Casino sure wins all our money." "Three cups of tea!" "Don't be like that." "Let's come again tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "I still don't have money tomorrow!" "Hey, you should know that you're a very important person in Petaling Street." "Because of you, we could gamble all we want and all they need is a signature." "This is what I would call a VIP treatment." "Am I so popular around here?" "Of course!" "We've become VIPS because of you." "No, no, no." "We've become VVIPS!" "Wow, gold member cards?" "But even with gold cards, I still don't have money!" "I'm only left with these." "If my wife doesn't have enough money to buy groceries tomorrow, I'll be dead." "Here you go." "With the money, we now can have real fun!" "The House of Kamasutra!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Scared of your wife again?" "You're afraid of her!" "Says who?" "What's there to be afraid of?" "If you're not, then let's go!" "Revolution..." "Dr. Sun Yat Sen shall..." "Who cares about revolution?" "Let's visit the House of Kamasutra right away!" "No!" "No!" "Come on!" "Drag him along!" "No!" "No!" "Dear customers, what do you think?" "What's that noise?" "Nothing!" "Nothing!" "So, how?" "They're quite pretty, but I'm sure there are prettier ones, right?" "Okay!" "What the world is that noise?" "Just keep quiet!" "Someone must be doing renovation next door..." "Now, dear bosses, what do you think of them?" "Satisfied?" "Better than the last ones, but I still think you have better-looking girls." "Fine!" "Wait a moment!" "The last two." "There are no more." "Now you're talking." "Yong Kok, I love them." "Very good!" "Have fun!" "Go, go, go!" "Your two friends have taken the last two." "There are no one left besides me." "So, what's on your mind?" "Uh, actually there's nothing on my mind..." "Nothing on your mind?" "You must think I'm kind of weird, don't you?" "Sometimes I feel the same way." "Your friends are my regular customers, and they're always happy with my skill." "Come, let's begin!" "Wait, wait!" "Actually I'm just looking around." "Just looking around?" "Looking around?" "You think it's free to look around?" "I don't care!" "You must accept my service today!" "Hold your horses!" "You sound like a man!" "So I'm a man because I have a hoarse voice?" "Don't tell me you're a woman?" "So I'm a woman because I have a hoarse voice?" "Then what are you?" "It's none of your business!" "What the world are you?" "Shemale!" "Shemale!" "Shemale!" "Don't point your buttocks at others, it's very rude." "Where's Du Yao?" "So tired!" "I'm so hungry that I think I'm feeling sick." "Very smart huh?" "Here you go." "You know it's bad for you to ask for bribery." "Okay, tell me." "Where has Du Yao gone to?" "He, Yong Kok and Rajoo went to the casino, and lost all his money." "And then?" "No idea!" "No idea!" "Come." "Let go!" "You're being very naughty." "If you don't want to turn into a dish, better you say it now." "Where else did Du Yao go?" "All right." "I'll prepare braised parrot for the dinner tonight." "Please don't!" "He went to the House of Kamasutra!" "Kamasutra?" "You went to the casino?" "Yes..." "And then the House of Kamasutra?" "When you eat, you eat properly." "When you sleep, you sleep properly." "In the future if you want to have fun, have dinner first at home and then go out." "Just don't stay out too late or it'll be bad for your health." "You can't blame me." "We've been married for so long, and yet we've never done it." "Until now I don't even know why." "Why?" "You should be angry today,and it's good to be angry when you're supposed to be angry." "However, you must watch out for your health." "Agitation will harm the liver." "Drink the carrot spareribs soup." "If we don't do it, the neighbors would call me a virgin!" "They will say Du Yao is a virgin!" "Du Yao..." "Du Yao is a virgin!" "The weather is hot." "No wonder you get agitated so easily." "Of course I got agitated!" "You're so close with your cousin, Liu Kun, that every neighbor says you're having an affair with him." "Why you're so intimate with him and not me?" "Why?" "They could believe so, but I don't expect you to." "I grew up with Liu Kun, and he's just like my own brother." "You can't be jealous of this 7" "My dear father, why had you passed away so early?" "Now I'm being bullied and I've no one to talk to." "How come you never answer my questions?" "Oh, it's time for you to go to the toilet." "Finish your dinner first, then the toilet." "After that, have an early sleep." "Oh, after you drink the soup, you'll have a good sleep till tomorrow morning." "Your hair is messy." "Du Yao is a virgin!" "Shhhh!" "Hey, one more word from you and I'll burn you alive!" "Du Yao is a virgin!" "Du Yao is a virgin!" "I dare you to say one more time!" "Du Yao is a virgin!" "Du Yao is a virgin!" "I'm warning you!" "Du Yao is a virgin!" "Du Yao is a virgin!" "Say one more time and I'll turn you into a flaming bird!" "Virgin!" "I'm definitely going to burn you alive!" "Old virgin!" "Old virgin!" "Old virgin!" "Old virgin!" "Pssssss ..." "Du Yao, wakey wakey, time to pee..." "Psssssu.." "What are you doing?" "Jay Chow?" "I'm here to collect my money." "Your money?" "How could you be so forgetful?" "Your buddy borrowed money from me with you as his guarantor." "That useless Yong Kok!" "But you've come so early." "I have no money." "No money is fine." "Am I right?" "No money is very fine." "It's useless even if you use the knife." "I really have no money." "Look at the room!" "There's no money here!" "Oh, I see..." "Trouble!" "Big trouble!" "Hey, that's my wife's pillow!" "You can't take it!" "Hey!" ""The Heavens choose the virtuous one as Emperor, so that he could lead as example to the whole world"" ""By administering the country with full attention and justice, the dynasty shall be prosperous forever and beyond!"" "This is the seal of Emperor Jianwen of Ming Dynasty a priceless emperor seal!" "What are you talking about?" "What seal?" "Emperor seal." "Emperor seal?" "So if I have the seal, then I'm an emperor, is it so?" "Is it so?" "More or less, I guess." "This is marvelous!" "I've struck it rich this time!" "Let's go!" "Hey, that belongs to my wife." "You can't take it!" "Relax, I'm just keeping it on your behalf." "When you bring the money tomorrow, I'll return it to you." "If you don't return my money, then I'll be an emperor!" "I've never expected a shorty like me can also become an emperor." "Men!" "Let's return to the palace!" "Hey, hey, you!" "Dear, I've bought ondeh-ondeh..." "What the chicken?" "What are you doing in my room?" "Where's my pillow?" "Li Chun, forget about the old pillow." "I've bought a new one for you from a designer's store." "Look, YEEKIA!" "Specially designed to support your neck and spine, it's really comfortable and..." "Let me ask you one more time." "Where's my pillow?" "The casino boss has taken it." "But you can't blame me." "You've never told me what's inside the pillow." "So the seal inside the pillow..." "You never told me there's a seal inside it." "Come on, it's just a pillow." "Don't be so angry..." "Liu Kun!" "Let's go!" "Hey, Li Chun!" "You!" "You're only back when the bad guys are gone." "You're worse than the dogs." "Watch out for burning candles..." "Beware of thieves. ._" "Watch out for burning candles..." "You guys go up." "I'll follow them." "Where's the seal?" "I'm done this time!" "All my money has been robbed!" "I'm bankrupt!" "Who did this?" "I've no idea." "They came wearing black masks and went away wearing black masks." "What luck!" "I got robbed just when my men go on leave." ""Old Virgin"" "I'm warning you." "Don't take advantage of me, or I'll scream!" "Still not believing me?" "Aaaah!" "Those who've stolen the emperor seal aren't ordinary people." "If they truly know about the secret of the seal, then Du Yao will be in grave danger." "I know what you're going to say." "But it's all Du Yao's fault that the seal is stolen." "Again I know what you're about to say." "This won't happen if Big Brother is around." "Ever since your elder brother has suffered an injury during his kungfu learning, he's nowhere to be found." "I know, I know..." "So you're really here!" "What the chicken?" "Don't you have your own room?" "Why come to his?" "Go back with me!" "No!" "Go back!" "No!" "Go back!" "No!" "Go back!" "No!" "No?" "Then I go back myself." "Please. _ _ go back with me." "I want to pee, but I don't have the key!" "Do you know what kind of trouble you've caused?" "How old are you already?" "Thirty years old, and you still haven't done anything right in your life!" "You know nothing and are scared of everything." "Are you a man or not?" "You say I'm not a man right in front of them?" "You think I wouldn't divorce you?" "Divorce me if you like!" "My wife says I'm not a man." "She's never utilized me." "How does she know I'm not a man?" "Am I right?" "Utilize you in what way?" "It's none of your business!" "Don't drink so much." "You can't hold your liquor." "She also says that I've not done a single right thing in my life." "Is that true?" "You should stop drinking too." "There are many ways to be a real man." "It's not difficult to do the right thing." "Three of us could go to the House of Kamasutra to be real men!" "Kamasutra!" "Where's your protection fee for last month?" "I've already paid your boss." "My boss?" "Yes." "It's for my boss, what about me?" "I've come here because I don't want to be bullied by the Englishmen." "And now this. _ _" "You're bullied by the foreigners." "We're by our very own people." "Bullied by our own people..." "I want to be a real man!" "I want to do the right thing to prove to my wife that she's wrong about me!" "Let's fight the gangsters!" "I want you two to call the neighbors now for an emergency meeting!" "Ever since Kapitan Yap Ah Loy had left us, the people in Petaling Street have been pushed around by the gangsters.Am I right?" "Right!" "The British Government does nothing to help us, am I right?" "Right!" "Therefore, we can only rely on ourselves for protection." "And for this, we must form a Defend It Yourself (DIY) Gang." "As long as we DIY, we could lead a peaceful life!" "As long as we DIY, we could have a happy family!" "As long as we DIY, we can beat the gangsters!" "I've already thought it through." "One Petaling Street, One DIY Gang!" "So, let's DIY together!" "DIY!" "DIY!" "DIY!" "DIY!" "DIY!" "How are we going to DIY?" "Good question!" "We'll all learn kungfu!" "Du Yao, I want to DIY with you!" "Hold your horses!" "Please DIY by yourself." ""Three-in-One Martial Arts School"" "This is the place." "It seems. ._ deserted." "Yeah, let's leave." "This is the legendary Iron Sand Palms!" "Is he really so powerful?" "You!" "Come here!" "Just go!" "Hit me here." "Hit him!" "If you want to hit me, then aim properly." "I'm hitting your hand!" "I'm hitting your neck!" "I'm hitting your stomach!" "I'm hitting between your legs!" "If I've not shown mercy, you'd have nothing left between your legs already." "Three of you." "Attack me." "Don't move!" "Hiya!" "You!" "Ha!" "You!" "Feel like falling down?" "Just place your hands on their shoulders then you would be fine." "I'm hitting your chest!" "I'm hitting your shoulder!" "You two go over there!" "This is what Three-in-One Kungfu is all about." "Master!" "To be the disciples of Fok Yip Fei, firstly, don't ask what." "Secondly, don't ask why." "Thirdly, just do whatever I tell you." "Fourthly, for mutual understanding... you guys have to pay your fees on time." "Sure, sure, sure!" "Master Fok, I've been hitting chestnuts the whole week. ._" "Master Fok, why I have to give you a massage every day?" "Look at the floor." "I've mopped so many times until its color has faded." "You'll strengthen your punches by hitting the chestnuts." "Mopping the floor is good for your waist." "Massaging is a great way to learn the location of our acupuncture points." "All these are the basic training of Three-in-One Kungfu." "Then when can we learn the advanced stuff?" "For ordinary people, it'll take three years." "Three years?" "But you guys are not ordinary people." "Ten years!" "Ten years!" "Master Fok, ten years is not good!" "In ten years, my wife might even have married the gangster's head and have babies with him." "Don't tell me you're fighting the gangsters for a woman?" "If you want to please women, just buy them flowers!" "There's no need to fight gangsters!" "All right." "For you guys, I'm going to make a sacrifice." "I, Fok Yip Fei, would be fighting the gangsters on your behalf." "That's great, Master Fok!" "What a great idea!" "I charge 100 dollars." "Non-negotiable." "So expensive?" "Five-year installment plan with zero interest." "Just think about the offer." "No hurry." "There's no need to think." "You're hired!" "Master Fok, hurry up!" "We're late!" "No hurry." "I doubt these gangsters know how to read time." "Just let them wait !" "Master Fok!" "Captain, how do you do?" "It's been a long time since we've met." "Good to see you." "I've something to show you." "Warrant!" "Captain, I think there's a misunderstanding. ._" "You two shrimps want to negotiate with us?" "Our kungfu expert is on the way here!" "We have a kungfu expert as our backup!" "Kungfu expert?" "There's only one left and that's me." "Hey, what about me?" "Oh, there are only two kungfu experts left." "Me and him." "Look." "He looks like me, but he's actually not me." "Hmmm, you're right." "Then we can't be certain." "Oh, why don't we do this?" "You stay with us for some days first, and we'll make our decision when we're more certain." "What?" "Bring him along!" "You can't do that!" "Captain, it's a misunderstanding!" "Captain!" "Captain!" "I've come here to meet you all on behalf of the residents of Petaling Street." "We've already formed a new gang called DIY Gang." "New gang?" "I think you have gangrene in your head!" "Do you guys have the permit for secret societies?" "What permit?" "What the world is that?" "Show him!" "I didn't see what's on it." "If you could see what's on it, then it'll be worthless." "Yeah!" "Who gave them to you?" "If you could see what's on it, then it'll be worthless." "Made in London." "England!" "Du Yao, no worries." "Leave it to me." "You just stay here." "Yes!" "I'm going to apply the permit now!" "Well, I think it's rather late." "Why don't we just call it a day so that everyone can go home and get some beauty sleep?" "Uh, it's better we continue tomorrow." "Wait!" "I'll have my beauty sleep, but only after I beat the hell out of you!" "I could simply ask my man to do it." "Finish him!" "I'm hitting your hand!" "I'm hitting your shoulder!" "I'm hitting your chest!" "Wow, the training actually worked!" "Hey you guys, come fight me, but one at a time!" "Come on!" "One at a time?" "You want to fight till daybreak?" "Everyone, charge!" "Get him!" "Hit his head!" "Hit him hard!" "Over there!" "Time out!" "Time out!" "What the chicken?" "How could I be so exhausted already?" "Beat him to death!" "That woman is so pretty!" "Miss, may I know your name?" "Someone's behind me." "Vhf hat the chicken?" "How could you try to beat a woman?" "It's not me. it's him!" "I didn't do it on purpose." "Please forgive me." "Listen." "I don't want you guys to collect protection fee in Petaling Street ever again!" "Yes, sir!" "Go away!" "Thank you!" "Miss, does your chest still hurt?" "It's not my chest that hurts. it's my back." "Let's go and help Du Yao." "Go that way!" "You're awake!" "Your Majesty!" "Come, let me help you." "Your Majesty, Xiaoju shouldn't have startled you." "It's entirely my fault!" "Wait!" "Why do you keep calling me "Your Majesty"?" "Yeah, why do you keep calling him so?" "What are you?" "Parrot?" "One of my ancestors was a loyal cabinet minister back in the Ming Dynasty." "When Emperor Jianwen was overthrown by his uncle, he went into exile and could never be found." "Oh, that's bad." "My ancestor thus made a vow, wanting his descendants to continue his search for the bloodline of Emperor Jianwen in order to protect them." "Two years ago, I came to Southeast Asia to continue my search, but I still couldn't find them." "Just as I was about to give up, I saw this. _ _" "Look." ""Northern Press:" "Seal of Emperor Jianwen" "Resurfaced and Yet Robbed Again in Petaling Street"" "it's you, Your Majesty." "You're the one whom I've been searching for." "Me?" "But this seal... it's actually..." "Your Majesty, please let me stay by your side." "I'm willing to do anything for you." "Please get up!" "You're injured." "Actually... about you staying by my side..." "Will you excuse us a minute?" "Just let her stay!" "She saved your life, remember?" "Yes, she's so pretty." "And she seems to have gone cuckoo after the fight." "Who knows you two could get into some real action later tonight?" "Kamasutra!" "You might even get quintuplets with the right skill!" "Enough!" "Go back to your rooms!" "Go, go, go!" "Ouch!" "What's the matter?" "I think it's the wound." "Oh, let me get you some ointment." "Your Majesty!" "Oh my, what are they doing?" "Oh, no!" "Alert!" "Alert!" "I'm hurt." "Can you apply the ointment for me?" "Okay... oops!" "Oh..." "Ouch!" "It really hurts!" "Then I'd be gentler." "Okay." "Go lower." "Lower?" "Uh, okay..." "The stupid virgin is definitely hooked!" "Stupid!" "Even lower?" "Lower." "Lower?" "Okay..." "Yoo-hoo, I'm still here!" "What's that noise?" "Your Majesty!" "Now even his pants are down!" "You two sex maniacs!" "Why are you wearing these disgusting underpants?" "Uh, my wife made me wear this." "It's locked." "How do you go to the toilet?" "Oh, my wife unlocks it thrice a day." "It's very troublesome, just like taking herbal medicine." "You Majesty. ._ why don't you let me unlock it?" "Then you don't have to suffer from it any more." "Oh my goodness!" "My eyes!" "My eyes!" "I can't stand it any more!" "I can't stand it!" "Your Majesty. ._" "Now you can do whatever you like." "My wife hasn't been back for two days." "I need to take a crap." "Shi Du Yao, I'm letting you off tonight, but you could never escape from me." "Next time do a proper landing!" "Mistress, we've got a situation at home!" "There's a woman in the room." "She lied on the bed, and Du Yao jumped in to join her, and they started touching each other!" "I don't even know if he's a virgin now!" "So embarrassing!" "So embarrassing!" "Who are you?" "You belong to the same gang that has stolen the seal?" "I've no idea what you're talking about." "Then what have you been searching just now?" "Me?" "I've been looking for underpants for His Majesty." "How could you make a grown-up man wear such a thing?" "Tsk tsk tsk..." "I really don't know what kind of a wife you've been to him." "Yesterday when I helped him unlock it, he has understood for the first time the true meaning of manhood." "You bitch!" "Uh, do you guys like some breakfast?" "it's steaming hot now." "Shi Du Yao, did you... did you lost your virginity to her?" "So what?" "How could you?" "Why not?" "I've saved myself for you for the past two years but you didn't want it." "So I gave it to her!" "You disgust me!" "I've sacrificed so much for you." "My father even married me off to you." "New that you've lost your virginity, how am I going to face my late father?" "What has your marrying me got to do with your father?" "Oh, and the last time I checked, you've no problem if I divorce you." "Your Majesty, my hand hurts!" "Oh, you're hurt?" "Poor thing." "Let her hand go!" "Don't let go!" "Let it go!" "Don't!" "She's come from nowhere." "How could you trust her?" "What nowhere?" "She's here with me. isn't that very clear now?" "Shi Du Yao..." "Your Majesty!" "Huh?" "It hurts!" "Oh, let me help you apply some ointment later." "Eat the breakfast first while it's still hot." "Would you like some tea?" "There goes all our effort." "If I've known it would happen," "I wouldn't have married him." "We've not... done it simply for his good." "At least he could protect himself when I get old and weak." "Am I wrong for doing that?" "I don't even know what to do now." "Dear cousin, I think Weisheng is right." "Why don't we just give up?" "Why don't we leave everything behind us?" "You tell me, am I right or not?" "Right or not?" "You should have talked more often, or else everyone would think you're dumb." "There's nothing embarrassing about having a short tongue." "Let me ask you this." "Have you actually fallen in love with Shi Du Yao?" "Your Majesty!" "Why are you so unhappy?" "I'm not." "Now that she's gone, I couldn't be happier!" "No?" "But it's written all over your face." "You clearly miss your wife." "No!" "I'm not!" "Your Majesty, stop thinking about her from now on, okay?" "Please?" "Shi Du Yao!" "Tonight everyone would throw a party to celebrate your victory over the gangsters!" "Yesterday you and Xiaoju beat the hell out of the gangsters, and everyone is so impressed!" "So afterwards did you two..." "Did you?" "Did you?" "Did you?" "Hmm, what's this?" "Oh, a saddle for the horse." "Gee, the horse must be real small." "Yucks, and it smells like durian!" "Wow, I've been looking for this thing for quite some time." "Who brought it here?" "Who?" "Don't mind about it." "Let's go to the party, and I'll cook you guys Hokkien mi." "Great!" "I'm hungry!" "I'm starving!" "All right!" "Let's go!" "I've rushed here after receiving your letter from the pigeon." "I hope you won't let me down." "Sire, this is what I've found in Shi Du Yao's house." "I'm sure you would be pleased to see this." "After years of searching in Nanyang... finally I've found it!" "Very soon I could return to the palace." "This so-called Shi Du Yao... who is he?" "Sire, Shi Du Yao is a Hokkien mi hawker." "I suspect that he is a descendant of Emperor Jianwen." "A Hokkien mi hawker?" "Where is he now?" "He should be having a celebration party at the temple now." "You did well." "You've been our spy for so long, and yet nobody has discovered your identity." "I'm very impressed." "Thank you, Sire, for your compliment." "The wind is usually mild in Southeast Asia, and my hair seldom gets blown away." "Sire, the balls are so round and smooth, and you could never stop playing with them." "I believe ...the two balls must be very precious to you." "I hate people talking about my precious balls!" "Silence, please!" "Everyone!" "Silence, please!" "Let's welcome our hero to give us his speech." "Dear neighbors, I would like to thank you all." "Without your DIY effort, we would not even have this wonderful dinner tonight." "Starting from now, we are free of the gangsters' control, and we now control our own destiny." "The good news is, the three of us shall continue the DIY effort on your behalf because we've already learnt kungfu!" "Therefore, you guys have to pay us 5 dollar every month for our DIY service." "Huh?" "Just kidding... just kidding..." "Just pulling your legs..." "just pulling your legs" "You're really not leaving with us?" "I'm not leaving." "I enjoy my life here, and all I want to do is to develop my white coffee business." "Just do whatever you want to do." "When you're free, help me to watch over Du Yao." "Don't worry." "I'll watch over him." "Take care!" "You too." "Take care!" "Your Majesty, it's for you." "Oh, thank you." "Why are you looking so gloomy?" "I'm just acting cool..." "You look quite handsome when acting cool..." "I only act cool because our neighbors love to see..." "These people have unusual aura." "Let's go!" "They could be looking for Du Yao." "Then he must be in great danger" "Shhh..." "Who among you is Shi Du Yao?" "Eh, that's me." "What can I do for you?" "Hey, bro, are you here to celebrate our victory over the gangsters?" "You don't have to dress yourself up." "Look at us!" "We're all very casual here." "Does this thing belong to you?" "Hey, it's my wife's!" "How come you have it?" "Are you here to return it to me?" "Give me, give me!" "Where's the treasure map?" "What map?" "You're nuts!" "You think I would give you a treasure map if I really have one?" "If I have a treasure map, I won't have to sell Hokkien mi, am I right?" "Where's the treasure map?" "Hoy, Mr. Weirdo, if you're here for the celebration, I welcome you wholeheartedly." "But it seems that you're looking for trouble, aren't you?" "Huh!" "You've even brought along" "Who on earth hit me?" "Why couldn't I see it?" "You're done!" "Very done!" "Now you're making me angry." "I'm nose-bleeding, and it means you're dead!" "Ask your friends behind you to get you a coffin!" "Dear neighbors, our party ends now." "For everyone's safety and for my image as the hero of Petaling Street, I,Shi Du Yao, will try not to be so violent." "You all go back and rest early." "Go, go, go!" "It's very painful!" "You could be a bit gentler, you know?" "Luckily I drove them away, if not my hero image will be ruined!" "If you have an issue, we could always sit down and talk nicely over buns and soya drink, am I right?" "Ouch!" "Get him!" "Oh, no!" "Li Chun, how come you guys know kungfu?" "Liu Kun, bring Du Yao away!" "Weisheng, attack!" "Hey, Li Chun!" "What the chicken?" "Glad to see our policemen are always on standby." "There are many people fighting in the temple and killing each other." "And there are even ninjas!" "Almost scares me to death!" "Come!" "Let's go and arrest them!" "You see!" "I told you not to offend the government." "Now they're here to arrest you!" "What the chicken?" "I've not done anything wrong, why arrest me?" "If you want to arrest someone, then arrest him!" "We're not arresting you." "We're just protecting you from others." "We're not putting you under arrest." "We're putting you under our protection." "Don't worry." "Your wife has been held hostage by the Qing Government." "All they want is your map." "Relax!" "Your wife has been held hostage by the henchmen of Qing Government." "All they want is your map!" "Relax!" "Once you pass the map to me," "I will make sure your wife will be rescued safely." "Hand over the map, and we shall rescue your wife." "Once you two have come to a decision, just let me know." "Enjoy your stay at the police station." "Once you've made up your mind,let us know." "Tata!" "Cute!" "Why does my wife know kungfu?" "Why does Weisheng know kungfu?" "And you must know kungfu too!" "Tell me what you know!" "Tell me!" "Tell me!" "I'll kiss you if you don't tell me" "So be it!" "Your wife, Weisheng and I have been secretly protecting you to keep you alive." "Your seal cannot be stolen, or else, you're no longer an emperor." "We're protecting you to keep you alive." "That's about it." "I know my tongue is short..." "Actually you have my sympathy." "You talked so much, and yet I couldn't understand a single word you said." "Give me another chance!" "Miss Kikuko!" "Didn't I tell you guys not to come if not for important matters?" "Sorry, Miss Kikuko." "Military department is rushing us." "They want to know if you've found the treasure map." "Ask them to be patient." "I've never failed before." "When I complete the mission," "Japan can conquer the world with the treasure, and we don't have to take orders from the military department any more." "The future of Japan and the Ninja Military Force is in your hand." "So I'm the descendant of Emperor Jianwen." "I'm an emperor!" "No wonder Xiaoju keeps calling me "Your Majesty". ._" "Oh yeah, what about Xiaoju's background?" "How should I know?" "Then what is the treasure map all about?" "All I know is, when Emperor Jianwen came to Nanyang, he brought with him a lot of treasures." "But nobody knows where the treasures are now, and even I don't know where the treasure map is." "If you want to find the treasure, you have to find the treasure map." "With the map, then you can find the treasure." "That's about it." "Don't blame your wife for making you wear the iron underpants." "She only does it so that you could master a kungfu called Skills of the Virgin." "Once you've mastered it, you could then protect yourself." "It's better than relying on our protection because we'll die any moment, don't you agree?" "So you have to work hard to learn kungfu in order to protect yourself, don't you agree?" "Tell me first if you agree or not." "Do you agree or not?" "Yes, I agree." "Then has Li Chun ever loved me?" "Don't ask me this type of questions." "Go ask her yourself." "Du Yao!" "Du Yao!" "Hey, birdie, dear birdie..." "Listen to me." "Now you go to find Rajoo and Yong Kok and tell them this..." "Understand?" "Understood!" "Birdlish." "Be careful and fly high!" "Police officer!" "Police officer!" "Police officer, come quick!" "Tell the Englishman that I could give him the map, but he must rescue my wife." "Tell him!" "Tell him!" "What are you up to?" "Up to no good." "The treasure is right beneath the tree." "It's here!" "Aha, good!" "Well, what are you waiting for?" "Dig it out!" "Dig!" "Dig it out!" "Yes, good." "Dig deeper!" "Dig deeper!" "Ghost!" "You two, stop!" "Chase them!" "Zombie!" "Ghost!" "An Indian ghost!" "He's Rajoo, and he's Yong Kok!" "We used to disguise as ghosts to steal durians!" "You're useless!" "You're so good with kungfu, and yet afraid of ghosts!" "My kungfu works on human beings, not ghosts!" "They are totally different!" "Stop!" "Run!" "You two ghosts go and scare them!" "Why?" "Why?" "Why did you fools you let them escape?" "We still can't find them until now." "How big is this bloody town?" "Don't you realize how important this is to me" "uh, to the queen, and country?" "You bring shame to the name of the Royal British" "Colonial Voluntary Constables of Petaling Street!" "What should I do now?" "Where on earth is the treasure map?" "Hi, I saw your shop is still open, and so I've come over to see if you're still open for business." "No!" "No!" "Do you know what time is it already?" "Go away!" "Please forgive me." "I'm feeling very hungry, and the shops around here are already close. ._" "it's fine." "Sorry to interrupt." "Hey!" "Wait for a while." "If I don't cook today, probably I wouldn't get another chance ever again." "Take a seat." "Okay." "Sorry for the trouble." "It's nothing." "Just eat." "Hmm, it smells delicious!" "Bumped into some trouble?" "If you believe you can, you'll succeed even in moving the mountain or filling up the sea." "There's nothing you can't solve if you put your mind to it." "What the chicken?" "it's easier said than done!" "What the chicken?" "Their kungfu are all better than mine, and nobody dare to help me." "And the thing that they want. ._ I don't even know where it is." "How am I supposed to rescue my wife with it?" "That sissy English police officer is even worse!" "For his own interest, he cares nothing about catching the real bad guys." "Instead he locked me up in the prison in the name of "protecting" me." "It's not that I don't want to solve the problem!" "I'm facing a dead end here!" "True." "Chinese immigrants suffer from never-ending hardship in order to build their new homes, and yet they are deemed as outsiders and got pushed around by the colonial government." "I can fully understand your pain." "But should we simply run away?" "No, we shouldn't." "We should never run away." "When people threaten to destroy our homes, ready to uproot us all together, we have to move ahead no matter what." "Even if it's a dead end, a fatal end, we still have to face it like a man." "Do not fear hardship or authority." "Remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!" "Your mi tastes very good." "Goodbye and hope we'll meet again some other day." "Wait!" "You talk so deep." "What do you work as?" "I used to be a doctor, and I could be considered as one now." "A doctor with a different mean to cure people, I guess. _" "He used to be a doctor, and he is still a doctor?" "Why doesn't he just tell me that he's a doctor?" "His Mandarin truly sucks..." "Hey, what's your name?" "I'm Sun Yat Sen." "Sun What Sen?" "Oh..." "No idea who he is." "You... you two are fine?" "We're fine." "Come in!" "Come in!" "The eunuchs have captured Li Chun..." "Huh?" "That Englishman wants the map, the eunuch wants the map, but I don't even know where it is." "It's so frustrating!" "Then do you remember if your Grandpa had given you anything when you're young?" "My Grandpa had given me my surname, Shi, that's why I'm in deep trouble now." "Then do you remember if your Grandpa or your Grandma had left anything to you?" "Just this lousy shop!" "There's not even a place to hide a treasure map." "All I have is a pile of chilies." "Oh, and the stove I used to cook Hokkien mi." "Which of you could crack the stove open?" "Go and do it!" "Ouch!" "My head hurts suddenly..." "I'm in pain, and I don't even know why..." "Weisheng, you go!" "Now I'm the emperor, and this is an imperial order." "Go!" "Get out of my way!" "What are you looking at?" "This is the secret of my forefathers, not yours!" "Stay there!" "What's that?" "I now know how to save my wife." "What are you doing?" "Dear policemen, my master would like to make a request." "Tomorrow afternoon my master will exchange the treasure map for his wife." "Please be there to arrest the bad guys!" "Sir, they will exchange the hostage tomorrow with the treasure map." "They need our help to arrest the bad guy." "Ah, good, good!" "We must make sure our best men are on the job!" "Should we mobilize our men now?" "No." "No, no, no, no, no." "We let them kill each other first, and then, we'll come in last." "Great idea!" "Hey, what if the Englishman stands us up?" "He wants the map, so he'll surely come." "Moreover, he likes you so much." "The eunuch is not just anybody." "If the Englishman fails to show up, we're dead for sure." "No matter what, you guys have to help me to rescue my wife, or I'll make sure you two suffer a worse fate." "Ooooh, how exciting!" "I've never seen a kungfu fight before!" "Why are you still here?" "Take Du Yao away!" "Li Chun, leave the matter to me." "Enough!" "Where's the treasure map?" "Don't you see I'm carrying the wok on my back?" "The treasure map is carved on it." "It even has the name of my forefather, "Yunwen", on it." "This is the original one." "There are no pirated copies in Petaling Street!" "That's great then." "Hand the map over." "Hand her over first." "No." "First the wok, then her." "First her, then the wok!" "Okay!" "I give you the wok." "Why did you made the knot so tight?" "Watch out for your heads!" "Now you release my wife." "When she's half way here, then I give you half of the wok." "When she reaches our side, then I throw you another half." "Still thinking?" "All right, I'm going to chop the wok into quarters, so we can deal by four stages." "Watch out for your heads!" "All right!" "Here she comes!" "Release her!" "We're winning!" "Give me that!" "Watch out for your heads!" "My dear wife!" "Hey, what the chicken!" "There!" "Over there!" "It's not here." "Now you see." "Where is it?" "Right behind you." "You fool, the wok is gone." "I've swallowed it." "Okay, time to run." "Stop staring at me." "My name is Qiaozi." "My name is Liu Kun!" "My name is Iron Eagle!" "Your name. _ _ your name. _ _" "Your name... your name!" "You're not an iron eagle!" "You're just a fly !" "My nickname is Iron Head!" "Next time when you seduce someone's husband, you better check who the wife is!" "Ouch!" "Meet your maker!" "Du Yao!" "Are you all right?" "You are..." "Iron Head!" "Liu Kun!" "Liu Kun!" "Dear, you must be careful!" "Do Yao!" "As long as you're fine, it's okay to bleed a little." "Ouch, it hurts!" "No!" "I give you the wok!" "Du Yao!" "Du Yao!" "Du Yao!" "Are you okay?" "I know I've never done anything right in my life... except for. _ _ marrying you." "What the chicken!" "Du Yao!" "Du Yao!" "Du Yao!" "He's dead, and your mission has failed." "You must die!" "I couldn't even protect the one I loved." "Death means nothing to me now." "Du Yao... wait for me." "What the chicken!" "I feel great!" "Hey, my dear!" "Did you truly mean what you say just now?" "A woman's words could hardly be trusted. ._ However... wow, it's real." "When they are spoken with tears, I know they come from the heart." "Du Yao!" "You!" "I want to thank you for unclogging two of my most important acupuncture points." "But still, I need to make sure your thing is" "Never mind, you don't even have it." "Anyway, I'll make sure you're done today!" "Come do me then!" "Ah!" "You are..." "Eldest Brother!" "Although he has unclogged his main acupuncture points, without my supply of energy, he is nothing more than a log!" "Sis, I've nearly died trying to master a powerful kungfu, but luckily I came under the tutelage of a highly skilled man and continued my kungfu learning reclusively on Mount Faber for 28 years." "I've not only mastered the supreme kungfu," "I've also turned from a handsome hunk into a curvaceous lady." "Now, I'm going to impart all my kungfu to Du Yao." "With my energy, Du Yao could cause his enemies to hallucinate about things that nobody should be able to see!" "Bloody hell!" "Don't mention that woman's name." "If I didn't let her come out first, would she be so famous today?" "You're leaving?" "I've donated all my energy to you." "Use it sparingly." "Goodbye!" "Curb your enthusiasm." "Save the action... for tonight." "Okay..." "Let me deal with him first." "So handsome. ._" "But you still have to die!" "The Fist of Spring Roll?" "You can't be Ip" "Don't ask." "Then I'll beat you into a spring roll!" "Wong Fei Hong?" "Wrong!" "VVong~Fei~Fong!" "How do you feel?" "Foshan Shadowless Kick!" "Where's Wong Fei Fong?" "You better stop." "I've beaten your face into a hamburger." "If we continue, your face could turn into a roti planta." "Feel free to visit Petaling Street in the future, but... please don't buy any pirated products." "You may go now." "We still have another fellow to tackle." "Which fellow?" "Your secret admirer from England." "Yucks!" "How brilliant!" "You're brilliant!" "I've never seen a kungfu fight like that before!" "Simply marvelous!" "But it's no match against our guns of course!" "Yes, sir!" "Oh, you're being very punctual, aren't you?" "Our fight is already over!" "So, please, pass me the map." "Pass the map to us." "I said, hand over the map, please." "Hand over the map now!" "We can't give him the map." "This is my final warning." "This is the final warning!" "Men, take aim!" "Give me the map!" "Give me the map!" "Du Yao, we can't give it to the Englishman!" "Dear, trust me." "Give me the other half." "Ha, finally!" "It's a pleasure doing business with you." "Release those fools." "Men, at ease!" "London Bridge is. ._ ...falling down, falling down, falling down..." "London Bridge is. ._ ...falling down, my fair lady..." "Turn!" "Forward march!" "Have a seat." "As your emperor, I'm asking you all to be seated." "Sit down." "Actually I've no interest in becoming an emperor." "All I want is my life as a Hokkien mi hawker." "When my ancestor came south, he just wanted to start over." "Therefore, I solemnly announce that..." "I'm no longer an emperor, starting from now." "You don't have to protect me again." "You are all free." "But what about the map?" "I honestly don't know where it is." "I simply carved a fake map on a wok just to trick the Englishman." "Oh, yeah, while trying to find the treasure map, I found this letter." "My ancestors had long dug out the treasures." "In short... my family had long gone bankrupt." "The treasure map is only an excuse that your ancestors used to trick you guys to protect me." "So I'm nothing more than an ordinary Hokkien mi hawker." "Li Chun, are you still willing to be with me?" "I'll be with you and have your children." "Together, we'll serve Hokkien mi for many, many years to come." "Now I could finally develop my white coffee business in peace..." "You're really funny." "I've told you, who want to drink white coffee in this hot weather?" "I'm developing my white coffee business." "What has it got to do with you?" "I've told you!" "If you're not selling Iuo han kuo, then I would!" "I'd sell it diagonally opposite their Hokkien mi stall!" "In this hot weather, people would line up to buy from me." "I'll make lots of money!" "When I was young, I used to love watching cartoons the most" "And then I'd pretend I know kungfu afterwards" "Dreaming that I'd grow up becoming a big hero" "This is every boy's dream, his way to feel inevitable" "There're Spiderman, Batman and Superman in the West" "There're Bruce Lee, Yue Fei, Guan Gong, and Monkey King in the East" "Heroes only show up during chaotic times" "He's either very powerful, lovelorn, or having an unfinished business" "Heroes are always different (also) Heroes must know how to drink (also)" "If we do it, you'll lose your kungfu." "Won't you regret it?" "If I can't have a go at it for the sake of kungfu, how could I call myself a man?" "Du Yao is finally losing its virginity!" "How embarrassing!" "Carry on!" "Carry on!" "Du Yao is finally a man now!"