"A SPOT OF BOTHER" "Thank you." "What's that?" "Bugger!" "Skin cancer!" "Jean-Paul!" "Coming!" "Did you find a suit?" "No, I'll go back on Monday." "Less people." "Don't leave it too long." "You need it for the funeral." "I won't go." "You won't go?" "He was your best friend." "Best of a bad bunch." "Don't be so awful." "You're right." "Sorry." "Cathie rang." "They're coming for lunch." ""They"?" "Cathie, Hugo and Philippe." "That's all we need." "Just try to be civil." "For Cathy's sake, at least." "Single-digit IQ, brother in jail." "It's hard to get overjoyed." "A bouncer." "I hoped for better." "That's harsh." "He runs his own company." "Some company!" "He employs 6 gorillas on steroids." "Microsoft, it ain't." "So long as she doesn't marry him." "We're planning it for Spring." "I'll get some champagne." "Yes." "I'm Zorro!" "I'll kill you!" "That's not a good idea." "I'll help your mother." "Knives are dangerous." "How do I kill you then?" "Killing people isn't polite." "Let's play horsey." "He'll be a member of the family." "Until we die or emigrate!" "You hope to change her mind?" "We couldn't even get her to eat her greens." "Mathieu won't come to the wedding." "He calls the guy F-Minus." "He'll destroy our family." "Mathieu will come, like it or not." "I won't let my children fall out." "Come on..." "Champagne!" "It's a wonderful life!" "As we speak, all I know is I'm gonna have a great wife." "She could've found a better bloke." "But I'll take care of her." "She'll be so happy." "If you say so." "What do you prefer?" "Book a hotel for the reception or do it here with caterers?" "Here would be nicer." "We'll foot the bill." "You already paid once." "That's out of the question." "If we're going to do it, we'll do it right." "Thanks." "That's cool." "Have some more cake." "I'd love some." "Wicked cake, Mrs Muret." "With the little sauce there." "Kick-ass stuff." "Are you okay?" "You're very pale." "I'm fine." "Give me your lighter." "I'm gonna burn the bus." "We won't burn anything, Hugo." "For the honeymoon, we're thinking Barcelona." "Is it far?" "Barcelona, Dad." "In Spain." "That's nice." "How's the building going?" "I'd better check." "I don't care what you think, Dad." "It's my life!" "I'll marry Philippe, like it or not." "Philippe loves me." "He's reliable." "I know you'd prefer a high-flyer, but I married one and he shat on me." "From a great height." "Even if you object, we'll go ahead anyway." "What's wrong with the guy?" "Jean-Paul?" "It's you." "Is something wrong?" "She kept shouting." "I was finding it hard to talk." "Are you okay?" "Not terribly." "What's wrong?" "Why'd you rush out like that?" "I felt dizzy." "Needed some fresh air." "Because of Philippe?" "Who's Philippe?" "No, not because of Philippe." "Are you feeling better now?" "A little." "I'll ring the doctor." "Screw doctors!" "They tell you you're dying, then go and play golf." "Don't be silly." "Come on..." "Let's get you inside." "I think I'll go and lie down." "Your father's not feeling well." "It's not the wedding or Philippe." "Why didn't you say?" "Letting me fly off the handle." "You don't need any help there." "Can I come in your cave, Grandpa?" "Come on, sunshine." "The yellow monster can't get us now." "Don't worry, yellow monsters are dying off with global warming." "What kind of animal's a heffalump?" "An animal that doesn't exist." "Is it furry?" "No, it doesn't exist." "So it has wings?" "Yes, it's an animal that doesn't exist with furry wings." "Are you funny, Grandpa?" "No, the unanimous verdict is that I'm not." "Sorry, he slipped the leash." "It's okay." "We were talking, weren't we?" "Can I join you?" "It's cat and dog downstairs." "Scary." "Come on, Grandpa, let's play a game." " I'm a bit tired, sunshine." " You have to." "You play, I'll watch." "Let Grandpa rest." "I'll play with you." "I've got you, you've got me by the chinny-chin-chin." "The first one of us to laugh, we'll wipe off his grin." "She wants to get married in jeans, with no reception." "We're hitting rock bottom." "Rock bottom." " A 2nd wedding's different." " Different, not discount." "Make an effort for your folks." "It's hard for them, hitting rock bottom." "Can you settle this downstairs?" "You've lost me." "Leave Grandpa to rest." "Sorry about earlier." "Shouting at you like that." "It's okay." "I'm used to it." "You have 1 new message." "Mathieu, it's Mum." "Can you believe your sister and Philippe are getting married?" "It was quite a surprise as you can imagine." "Your father's still recovering." "Cathie said you should bring someone." "Anyone you want." "There you go." "Lots of love." "I don't believe it!" "Hi, Cathie, it's me." "Mum told me the news." "You could've called." "I was about to but Hugo threw a tantrum." "Are you sure?" "You've thought it through?" "Yes, Mathieu, I'm sure." "Right..." "Hi there, lover." "Sorry, Olivier's just arrived." "He's getting an invite?" "Of course!" "It'd be great." "Yeah, great." "It's up to you, but I'd love him to come." "Why divide your life into separate compartments?" "It's safer." "It's like a zoo." "Take the cages away, it's a bloodbath." "I'll think about it." "Okay, bye." "Bye." "What are you doing here?" "I wanted to see you." "It's Tuesday." "Weird." "I want to see you even on Tuesdays." "I'm late." "Going out?" "Everything okay?" "Sure." "I dunno." "My sister's going to marry F-Minus." "It won't work." "She's just sick of being a single mother." "And I'm invited?" "Yeah, Mum vaguely mentioned bringing someone." "A vague someone." "What's the problem?" "My folks'll introduce you as a friend from work." "Imagine Philippe's friends!" "After 5 beers, they'll burn us or demand blow jobs." "You think?" "Dream on." "Slow down." "I want to go to your sister's wedding." "To go with you." "You'll have a shit time." "So will I. Except it's myfamily." " Sure, it's a wedding." " It's not a wedding." "It's my sister marrying an asshole." "Again!" "So?" "You're not the one marrying F-Minus!" "You don't care if she's happy, you want a veto." " I don't wanna talk about this." " I do." "The problem isn't him or your family, the problem's you." "Being seen with a steady boyfriend freaks you out." "Am I wrong?" "Chest pain?" "No." "Lose your balance?" "Fall over?" "No." "But the plates did." "Were you running away from something?" "Were you frightened of something?" "What were you frightened of?" "Very interesting." "Discoid eczema." "A week of cortisone cream will sort that out." "Unless I'm badly mistaken." "Really?" "Tuck yourself back in." "Yes, sorry." "Is something wrong?" "It felt less like cheating when Jean-Paul was working." "Now, when I get home, he's there." "There's not enough space between you." "And too much space between your visits." "Let me take advantage of you, before the space becomes a gulf." "So?" "What did Bargouthian say?" "I'm fine." "Heatstroke." "Not drinking enough water." "That's a relief." "Yes, I'm relieved." "I rang Mathieu." "How'd he react to the bombshell?" "I don't know." "I left a message..." "Said he could bring someone." "Really?" "Is that okay?" "It'll have to be." "Men sleeping together, I can imagine." "On missions at sea or in space." "To keep up morale." "Like a good workout." "Handshake and a shower afterwards." "What disturbs me is the idea of men buying furniture together." "It's a wonderful father we've gathered to mourn today." "And a wonderful husband." "He clearly never met him." "Why don't they tell the truth?" "It's not the time or place." "On the contrary." "It can't hurt him now." "You know what he told me at our 30th anniversary?" ""If you'd killed her instead of marrying her," ""you'd be out, a free man, by now."" "Very witty." "Welcome François to the place he deserves..." "Barnier!" "Sorry to interrupt." "See you at the cemetery." "Don't go on my account!" "How are you?" "And you?" "I'm well." "Welcome to the club." "How's retirement suit you?" "It's all a little bit new." "And you, what do you do all day?" "Nothing exciting." "I read a lot." "Anyway, good to see you, even if the circumstances..." "Anne, look who it is!" "Do you see people from work?" "No." "David, hello." "Nice to see you, Anne." "How are you?" "Fine." "We should invite David for dinner one night." "Yes, of course." "Why not?" " I'd hate to put Anne out." " On the contrary." "I'm sure she'd enjoy some relief from my company." "And I'll make my seafood risotto." "Let's pay our respects to Sylvie." "See you soon then!" "Unless I'm badly mistaken..." "Why did he say that?" "Covering himself." "Hello there!" "I guessed as much." "What?" "Nothing." "Well?" "Well what?" "The wedding." "Your mother thinks you should bring someone." "I mean Cathie and Philippe." "Is she serious about it?" "She's always serious." "The question is for how long." "I don't want a disgruntled son-in-law, so I'm concentrating on my bricks." "What news?" "We were thinking we'd get Philippe killed by the mafia." "Dad, I'm just worried about Cathie." "We're all worried about her, darling." "I'm not delighted either, but there you go." "Children don't always take the option we'd like." "Right, I'd better be going." "You just arrived." "There's nothing left to say." "My option's waiting." "Mathieu!" "You provoked him again!" "I didn't!" "I just spoke my mind." "I'm not happy about either son-in-law." "We don't know his friend." "Please!" "Don't call him that." "I hate it." "They don't have tea, they fuck!" "You'll have to get used to it." "Not all on the same day." "I'm hunting the pirate who stole the princess." "Here I am!" "What's wrong?" "Are you all right?" "I'll be fine." "I'm just on edge." " Sure?" " Yes." "We're getting married." "It's silly, I've no idea why I'm crying." "Yeah..." "That's great news." "Yeah." "What about you?" "Nothing much." "I was seeing a girl from the bank." "It didn't work out." "Really?" "She was a tree-hugger." "Wanted to make compost in my bath." "Soon there'll be no more sea, no more waves or chilly wind..." "No more unpleasant cold nip." "He knows it." "He's made the only choice he had left." "To stop the treatment." "To enjoy the short time he has left to organise his affairs and make up with those who..." "Dying's bad enough without having to turn off the stopcock and make up with idiots." "Can't you switch channels?" "Okay, goodnight." "Goodnight." "I'm dying." "Shit, I'm dying!" "It's you." "Sorry." "Cathie and Hugo are out." "I'm cleaning up." " Did she tell you?" " About?" "The wedding." "Yeah, congratulations." "I'll come back later." "Coffee's made if you wanna wait." "No, I'll..." "Okay, sure." " You think she's making a mistake?" " It's not my business." "But that's one hell of a long face." "It's tricky." "I mean, from the outside... you're very different." "I'm not good enough?" "I didn't say that." "But it's what you think." "Maybe you can't understand." ""You"?" "Gays, you mean?" "Take it how you like." "And I'm not..." "F-Minus." "I'm C-Minus." "Sorry?" "At school." "I got C-Minus." "But if it's any consolation, it might not happen." "She gets so angry at me." "Don't worry, she gets angry with us, too." "Say..." "How is it with..." "Olivier?" "Meaning?" "I mean, how is it..." "I'm not sure I follow you." "Do you love him?" "What is this conversation?" "Just a conversation." "I'm interested." "I mean..." "Do guys have arguments, too?" "Gay couples are exactly the same." "Besides one or two details, see?" "You really think I'm stupid." "Shove up, the fluff gets in between the cushions." "My sister'll marry you if she wants to, whatever I say." "We'll have to get on." "I don't have any problems." "It's up to you." "And yes, I love Olivier." "Evening, David." "You hurt yourself?" "No, I'll be okay." " Ice will stop it swelling." " It's just fine!" "I'm in the middle of cooking." "Have a drink in the sitting room." "No, we'll join you in the kitchen." "I think he knows." "He's acting oddly." "He wouldn't have invited me." "Unless he plans to poison us." "It's awful ageing alone." "You need to find someone." "Florence has left you." "Move on." "After 50, it's not so easy." "Nonsense!" "You look great, happier than with Florence." "Really?" " You're a real chef." "I'm impressed." " Thanks." "It depends." "We've had some disasters." "I've rarely tasted a better risotto." "You can come again." "Coffee here or in the lounge?" "There's no hurry." "Martin's wife is in hospital." "After all their tests, they don't know what it is." "Shit!" "In any case, it doesn't look good." "Shit!" "What's wrong?" "Cramp." "I'll walk it off." "Mind the tablecloth!" " See you at the wedding then." " Sure." "Definitely." "Weddings in other people's families are never much fun." "When it's your family, it's worse." " Right..." " See you." " Goodbye, David." " Goodbye, Anne." "Your risotto was something else!" "You'd never leave me, would you?" "Of course not." "Why do you ask?" "Right, washing up!" "Hi!" "Come on in." "I'd prefer we went for a walk." "You want someone when it suits you." "I only want you." "It's funny." "It took a wedding for me to realise." " I love you." " You don't know what love is!" "Why d'you say that?" "Love means leaving your comfort zone." "You don't want to." "You've met someone else?" "Did you hear a word I said?" "It hurts to say it, but we want different things." "See you." "Unless I'm badly mistaken..." "Goodnight." "Are you sure you want to marry me?" "Why d'you say that?" "Yes, I'm sure!" "If you weren't sure, would you tell me?" "Of course!" "Don't feel obliged, now people know." "Philippe, honestly!" "Do you love me?" "Why are you talking like this?" "Like you loved Fabien?" "No, actually, I don't." "I was infatuated with Fabien." "Walking on air." "Came down with a bump." "I know you." "I know all your faults, but I'm marrying you for your qualities." "Come here..." "I'm not strong and reassuring like you, but don't worry I won't ditch you at the altar." "Sorry, I'm being stupid." "It's nerves." "Wedding nerves." " My cousin puked in the vestry." " Really?" "She used her bouquet to hide the stain during the ceremony." "Sleep now?" "Yeah." "What?" "You're strange." "You hate Brittany, your brother drives you up the wall, and all of a sudden..." "I'm suffocating, I need a change of scenery." "Charming." "No, I mean..." " Call me when you arrive." " Of course." "It's a benign cheek tumour." "Unless I'm badly mistaken." "Is that Weber's Pharmacy in St. Germain, please?" "Yes, this is Mr Muret." "Yes, hello." "I'm with friends and we're having a bet." "I said that cortisone cream causes degeneration of skin tissue." " That's correct." " See, I was right!" "So, for example, it'd be a bad idea to put it on a cancerous tumour." "It's not the usual treatment, no." "Good, I've won." "Thank you." "Our train is now arriving at Mantes..." "What are you doing here?" "I was just saying, I forgot my glasses after the risotto." "Would you believe Jean-Paul took charge of Sunday dinner?" "Lucky you!" "Mine acts like he's in charge and does nothing." "He'll be disappointed." "I just dropped him in town." "Let's go and look for them." "Goodbye." "This is our home." "You can't just turn up." "Anne, sit down." "I've got something to tell you." "Well..." "I'm no spring chicken." " What?" " Hear me out." "This isn't easy." "I've been practising for several weeks." "So..." "I'm no spring chicken." "At my age, you don't get second chances." "I love you." "I want to live with you, sleep with you, wake up with you." "Let me finish, please." "You make me... very happy." "It's very selfish, I know." "I live on my own." "It's harder for you." "I respect Jean-Paul." "I like him even." "I'll understand if you say no, but if I don't ask, I'll regret it." "So if you say no..." "I'll pretend this conversation never happened." "I just hope I'm not messing everything up." "You don't have to give me an answer now." "I don't intend to." "Just think about it." "It'll be hard to think of anything else." "What makes you smile?" "Relief." ""On the corner of the street, there's a little hotel." ""Quite magnificent!" "Extraordinary!" ""If you want," ""maybe we could take a little look and come back!"" "Fabien, I wasn't feeling too good because of my back." "If I misinterpreted it, fine, but you seemed depressed." "Anyway, it was nice having a chat." "I enjoyed it, too." "What's wrong?" "I think I'd better be going." "I'm sorry about this." "It doesn't matter." "Jesus!" "What's your problem?" "I'm talking to you." "Grow up!" "You gonna speak or just stare with cow eyes?" "We had coffee." "He's my son's father." "I wanted a chat." "I told you to play in your room." "Be nice, Hugo." "You're not my real Daddy!" " Go to your room!" " Wicked witch!" "If you think I'll marry a man who treats me like that, think again!" "Shit!" "Room 106, first floor." "Thank you." "Vincent will show you up." "Knowing him, he probably missed the train." " He'd have called you." " What's the big worry?" "I don't know." "He's not his usual self." "Calm down." "I'll call you as soon as he arrives." "Okay." "Shit!" "Where have you been?" "I've been worried sick." "What's that on your head?" " Where?" " You're bleeding!" "It's nothing." "The shower." "I stayed in a hotel." "A hotel?" "It is entirely possible... without being melodramatic, that I'm going mad." "You've been drinking?" "Yes, but only mini-bottles." "I need to sit down." "It's all because..." "You were..." "Jean-Paul!" "Please, snap out of it." "What were you doing in a hotel?" "I was scared of dying." "That's absurd." "Probably." "That's why it's not impossible that I'm going mad." "You're frightening me." "What's that?" "Cancer." "But Dr Bargouthian says it's eczema." "Have you got any aspirin?" "I think so." "I have a monstrous hangover." "I think it would be a good idea if you went to bed for a bit." "Let's get you upstairs." "No, not the bed." "I don't want to get into that bed." "I prefer the sofa." "You know, it's a real blow to realise you're mad." "But what surprises me most is how painful it is." "The aspirin, please." "He said he's scared of dying." "Don't you ever think of death?" "When you wake up at 3 a.m. And can't get back to sleep..." "Retirement's when you take stock." "Yes, but it soon goes." "I promise you, he frightens me." "He's curled up on the sofa like a sick dog in its basket." "I'd rather stay with him for now." "Of course." "It's 11 o'clock, dear." "Cathie, Hugo and Philippe are coming for the weekend." "Never mind." "I'll sleep in your room." "My room?" "Can you bring up the DVD player?" "Hello, darling!" "Hi, love, how are you?" " Philippe isn't here?" " No, he's not in my bag." "It's just that we have to decide on the menu and seating plan." "It's in six weeks." "Precisely." "A lot can happen in six weeks." "Just a minute!" "Yes?" "Hello, beautiful." "Mum says you're not feeling well." "Not very." "Do you want to talk?" "Not really." "I can't talk to your mother either." "I've wasted my life." "What are you talking about?" "You haven't wasted your life." "You've got a lovely house, a loving family." "That's bollocks." "It's not bollocks." "I spent 30 years in a job I didn't care about." "I got packed off into early retirement, my wife doesn't love me... and just when I could enjoy my shitty life," "I get this discoid thing." "This what?" "If that's the good life, it's not for me, Cathie." "I'd better go keep the peace." "Don't jump out the window." "Mum's put the geranium out." "Is Grandpa dying?" "No, darling, it's just a joke." "He's never been like this." " I don't know what to do." " Take him to a shrink." "He won't even go back to see Bargouthian." "Just do it." "Ask Bargouthian to recommend someone and just take him." "That's it, as easy as that." "Where are you going, buster?" "I wanna watch Kirikou with Grandpa." "Don't ask if he's dying." "Can't do anything round here." "If the wedding goes ahead and he's like this..." "What do you mean, if it goes ahead?" "No, I mean, if he's like this at the wedding..." "You have to press Play." "Are you sad, Grandpa?" "Yes, sunshine, I'm sad." "Is it because you're dying?" "Yes, it is." "I need a poo." "André with Jacqueline?" "Sure?" "Bores together, so they don't ruin it for anyone else." "We have to choose the flowers, too." "What's going on?" " I've got something to tell you." " What?" "Well, over the last six months, how can I put it, I've been seeing someone." "I know." "Why bring this up now?" "You don't know." "It's a man." "Who isn't your father." "I know." "It's Barnier, who used to work with Dad." "How do you know?" "You said you'd bumped into him, the way you talked about him..." "I'd have to be blind as shit." "You think your father knows?" "Mum, it's none of my business." "I don't want to discuss this." "David has asked me to live with him." "This conversation pisses me off!" "Having no one to talk to, not even you, pisses me off!" "You can't leave Dad." "Not at the moment, with him like this." "I'm not planning to leave your father." "I just needed you to know." "Let's get you to bed." "You'll have a nice big sleep." "There you go!" "Can I have a glass of water, Mummy?" "Of course." "Get under the quilt, I'll fetch one." "I'll be right back." "I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have done that." "Running off." "It was stupid." "As we speak, who you have coffee with is no business of mine." "I should've said." "Sure, but I'd have been jealous anyway." "Look..." "I'm not blaming you." "You know..." "You said that..." "You can't marry me if I'm like that." "I was furious." "But you were right." "You can't marry a guy who treats you like that." "Philippe..." "I've been thinking." "You shouldn't be marrying me." "I'm not the right guy for you." "I'm just not." "Your brother doesn't like me." "Your folks don't." "We don't like the same music or the same films." "Sure, we get along and I like the kid, but in 2 years' time, in 3 years' time... where will that get us?" "This is ridiculous, Philippe." "It's the truth." "You don't really love me, do you?" "Go on..." "Say "I love you"." "You see?" "I love you, though." "That's the whole problem." "I need to sleep." "I'll take the sofa." "It's only 8 o'clock." "I haven't slept for 3 days." "What do you want?" "To say sorry." "For making you leave me." "For..." "I had a crap evening with a jerk in a bar, but it made me open my eyes." "You're pissed." "No." "I was, but I'm not now." "Honestly, Olivier, I'm serious." "I want you at the wedding." "It's 2 a.m. I've got work in the morning," "I'm going back to bed." "Do the same." "You're with someone, aren't you?" "Spare me the bimbo act!" " I miss you." " Christ!" "You reek of vomit." " Not mine, the jerk's." " Goodnight." "Why don't you ever answer?" "I'm lost." "I need to talk to you." "I can't tell him I love him." "God knows why..." "I don't care what the family thinks." "Why can't I do it?" "Maybe he's right and it's better if we don't get married." "I'll call you back." "I've cut my finger." "Call me back, for fuck's sake!" "Deep down, I know it's eczema." "But something in my head overpowers it." "It's odd, I think I'd be happier in a psychiatric hospital." "Being taken care of." "It's not that bad, Mr Muret." "No, but I could pretend." "Go shopping naked, burn the neighbour's car..." "It doesn't work that way." "I need someone to sponsor me?" "No." "But you're not insane, Mr Muret." "Isn't faking insanity a sign of insanity?" "Good question." "We'll talk about it next week." "If you have a panic attack, take this." "Fine." "If it was on my toe or my finger, there'd be a solution." "But there..." "Goodbye, Miss." "There's some left!" "They can finish it at the hospital." "Emergency services." "The chisel..." "I need to get the chisel." "For Anne." "I didn't catch that..." "Relax, sir." "Breathe deeply and speak calmly." "I can't hear you, sir." "Go ahead." "How can I help you, sir?" "I... amputated my hip with a chisel." "There's a lot of blood." "I'm bleeding..." "Where are you, sir?" "I don't know." "There are big fish, like in Portugal." "It's my punishment." "What happened?" "They killed him with the carving knife." " Where is he?" " I don't know." "They took his corpse away in Tupperwares." "I'm not much of a handyman, eh?" "What's going on?" "Sorry about the message." "I was beside myself." "Your father had an accident." "With a chisel." "I'm afraid I made rather a mess." "You panicked, that's all." "I thought he'd been hacked up!" "Are you okay?" "A little sore, but okay." "I'm lost." "Who's the guy outside?" "He said Dad walked in on burglars." "Yes, that's what we thought." "Is he still there?" "He was heading off." "I'll see if I can catch him." "He used to work with your Dad." "Don't worry, it wasn't an accident." "I have cancer." "Sorry?" "Or at least I did." "Cancer?" "I decided on a little homemade surgery." "With a chisel?" "No, scissors." "I'm not crazy." "The chisel's a cover story for your mother." "I didn't get it all first go." "It was dangling." "I couldn't finish it." "Probably best not to tell your mother." "Okay, sure." " So how are you?" " Yeah, I'm fine." "I've been having a spot of bother recently." "Cathie mentioned it." "It's all under control now." "If you don't mind, I'll have a little nap." "It's been a tiring day." "It's my fault." "He called for help and I passed the buck to Mum." "He went a bit loopy the other day, but nobody died." "Cut it out!" "Can't you give up spouting platitudes?" "I'm sick of hearing" ""As we speak" and "Tell me about it"!" "Have you got shit for brains?" "Now you're overstepping the mark." "You're a bit harsh." "I'm sorry." " It's not what I meant to say." " But you said it." "Mathieu!" "I just caught him." "Do you remember David Barnier?" " It was him?" " Him what?" "Nothing." "I've heard the name." "What's going on?" "Dad has cancer?" "Not according to Bargouthian." "I should've said." "Your father's having a hard time." "It's catching." "Why d'you say that?" "The wedding being off and everything." "What do you mean, it's off?" "You didn't know?" "I could be wrong." "Cathie left a message." "Maybe I misunderstood." "That's one less thing to worry about." "Is Grandpa dead?" "No, he's not dead." "I told you so." "Yes." "He's a bit out of it." "Maybe we shouldn't all go in." " He's in room 340." " Okay, thanks." "Hugo, let's go and play, then we'll give Grandpa a kiss." " I'm really sorry." " Don't be." "Don't think we don't like you." "It's just that..." "I'm sure you'll find a nice girl, who'll make you very happy." "He must have fallen onto his chisel." "That's a relief." " He was so down, I thought..." " No." "You can be a pain, but we need you." "You know we do." "Mathieu told me about the wedding." "Being off." "It's not that simple." "Don't worry just because everything's arranged." "Don't get married just to save the deposit." "What counts is your happiness." "If it makes you feel better," "I confess your father and I always had our doubts." "Philippe's a decent man, but he's not the brightest bulb." "Dad and I love you very much, Catherine." "I'll be back." "What did you tell her?" " Hugo can't come in." " What?" "There's blood everywhere." "Come on!" "We're going camping in Grandpa's den." "'Night, Mum!" "Goodnight, darling." "You told Dad the wedding's off?" "We don't know for sure yet, Mum." "We understand your misgivings, but it's time to decide." "It'll be embarrassing enough telling people and even worse at the last minute." "I don't know, Mum." "What else can I say?" "Things are difficult right now." "Do you want to be with him or not?" "Will you ever work out what you want?" "I don't want to end up screwing his colleagues!" "I refuse to be lectured by a divorced single mother!" "Can't you just take five?" "Haven't we had enough for today?" "There's a guy outside, babysitting, because he's mad about you and Hugo, despite Mum and Dad thinking he's an idiot." "Jesus!" "You've changed your tune." "I never said that!" "Dad wasn't doing DIY, he chopped himself up with scissors." "If you think it'll blow over, you're very wrong." "If we don't help him, one day he'll stick his head in the oven and we'll regret pretending it was all okay." "Of course, nothing to eat." "There's some custard left." "Isn't that a comfy wheelbarrow!" "Sleep well, angel." "It was him or the wheelie bin." "I chose the bin." "It's not Fabien's fault, I know." "The problem is..." "Fabien's my daddy." "It's time to sleep, okay?" "Sleep." "The problem is, she doesn't love me." "I can see she's trying hard." "That makes it even worse." "Your mother's happy, though." "Said I'd find a nice girl one day." "Hang on in there." "It's not over." "Thanks, that's cool." "What about you?" "What?" "Who messed up?" "You or him?" "Me." "Too scared to sacrifice my precious freedom." "When you're in love, it's..." "It's not a sacrifice." "It's a choice." "Dinner!" "Yeah." "The real pain... is that I love her." "She's hard work, but she's got to me." "Go on, I'll stay with Hugo, so you can have a family dinner." " You're sure?" " Yeah." "You're a funny guy." "You're..." "Not as dumb as I look?" " That's not what I meant." " I hope it is." "My 1st compliment from your family." " Well?" " I haven't seen it yet." "Christ!" "Good work!" "You're gifted for an amateur." "I'm touched." "But that's not the question." "I left a bit." "They didn't stitch it back on?" "No, all gone." "Whatever you decide, I'll say yes." "Come here..." "Come on." "I've been so horrible to you." "Yes, you have." "But I still love you." "It's okay, everything's okay." "Everything's okay, angel." "Hold me tight." "I love you." "It's all right, forget it." "Don't force yourself." "I'm saying it because I mean it." "I won't say anything for a moment, I might mess it all up." "Philippe..." "Will you marry me?" "No kidding?" "Answer me." "Will you marry me?" "Yeah, obviously." "Of course I'll marry you." "Are you absolutely sure?" "I said yes." "I know, but the other day you didn't want to." "I do." " Do you want to?" " Yes, I do." " So, there's no problem." " No." "You really do want to get married?" "If you promise to stop asking." "Okay, I promise." "Mum's going to freak out." "Tell me about it!" "Sorry." "I meant, I suppose she will." "As we speak, I don't care." "Dear, I'm going to Dalloyau's with Cathie." " Do you need anything?" " No." "You could pick up my chisel." "I sent it to get sharpened!" "That's not funny." "It's the wine and pills." "You're sure you're okay?" "I rang Philippe." "I apologised, said we'd learn to get along and all that." "He was very good about it, perspicacious in fact." "Said I'm probably the sanest in the family." "It's good to see you laugh." "I haven't seen you laugh in ages." "See you later." "What about Olivier?" "I've left him 40 messages." "His sister said he's in Greece." "We can track him down, post his photo on Internet." "They caught a paedophile that way." "Your 1st idiotic remark in ages!" " It was just an example." " Sorry." " We'll see." " Come in, it's open." "It's in the lap of the Greek gods." "They used to be gay-friendly." " Hello." " Hi, Mum." "Hi, Mum." " Ready?" " Yep." "How's Dad?" "Better." "Much better." "Shall we go?" "We're not out of the woods." "Why do you say coming here annoys you?" "I have my studio to finish and I feel much better." "I get the impression, if I said" "I ate my wife last night, you'd ask, "With gravy?"" "Has the idea ever occurred to you?" "In your opinion?" "I've no opinion." "That's why this annoys me, too." "My problem's solved." "Which one?" "What do you mean?" "What makes you think it's solved?" "A kind of Buddhist detachment and the pills." "How do you define Buddhist detachment?" "Letting your daughter marry a jerk." "When is it?" " What?" " The wedding." "Saturday." "Right..." "I look forward to next week." "Vegetable charlotte or scallops in pastry?" "Do we have to decide right now?" "Yes, we have to." "Scallops in pastry." "I'll bring the main courses." "So we shall finally get to meet..." "Mathieu's friend?" "His boyfriend, Mum." "I can't, Catherine." "Call him Olivier then." "You've met him?" "You mean, will Dad put up with him?" "No, I mean, is he nice?" "It's hard to say." "With his blond wig and leather shorts." " What are you talking about?" " Of course he's nice." "Relax, he's run off to Greece." "What a shame." "That's so mean." "You're son's heartbroken and you're happy?" "Not at all." "Honestly, I'd be delighted if he came." " Really?" " Really." "Olivier's mobile." "Talk after the beep." "Hello, Olivier, this is Mathieu's Mum." "I wanted to tell you that his Dad and I would be very happy to see you at Cathie's wedding." "As would Mathieu, of course." "We'll be expecting you." "Lots of love..." "Hi, Dad!" "Hi, how are you?" "You try, I can't do it." "What happened to your hair?" "Thanks." "I like it like this." "That's the main thing." "Your Mum's not with you?" "No, she had a few more things to buy." "Is your den finished, Grandpa?" "Yeah." "She won't be long." "Great tomb!" "Save me a spot, won't you?" "How's life?" "A few billion years and all that will be a carousel of rocks circling each other." "No trace of our existence." "Nobody to see there's no trace." "Nothing but space." "Music, science, books..." "All gone." "We should go in, Dad." "I'm not sure if it's scary or a relief." "It all being wiped out." "You, me..." "Mozart, Hitler..." "Your mother..." "What time is it?" "20 past 2." "Go back to bed now." "I put a window in." "Huge improvement." "The marquee's flooded!" "Do what you think is best." "I'll leave it to you." "What if it keeps raining?" "We'll have a wet t-shirt competition!" "It'll be a disaster." "A humiliation!" "Mum, stop it, please!" "Hello!" "You're early." "That's great." "4 hours 12 minutes, door to door." "No traffic." "Fidelio!" "We had to bring him." "Our dog-sitter has a fibroma." "Really?" "He'll be fine in the garden." " Say hello to Sarah." " No." "You made good time." " No traffic." " 4 hours 12, door to door." "My brother hard at it?" "Shit, already?" "No, he's resting." "The older ones didn't come?" "The teens?" "They came to the first wedding, remember." "How old are you?" "Hiding in the toilet!" "They're early!" "Shit!" "What's going on?" "The loo's overflowing." "Your father'll do it." "He loves toilets!" "No!" "Move your arse!" "There's a wedding today in case you didn't know." "Your breakdown's boring." "Is this a bad time?" "It was open." "I'm sorry, it's the stress." " I'll make you coffee." " Not now, Mum!" "Turn the stopcock off." "The loo's overflowing." "Sorry." "Hello, darling." "It's okay, I'll take care of it." " You take your suitcase." " Thanks." "We're all settled in." "My brother-in-law and wife." " Alain." "Pleased to meet you." " Me too." "Philippe..." "Lucie." "So, what can we do to help?" " Nothing." " Actually..." "Taking the dog out would be good." "Picking up the flowers by the station even better." " Consider it done." " Most kind." "Fidelio, get down!" "I really can't go to the wedding." "I can't hear a word you're saying." "And some of us have no time to chat." "Sorry!" "We're all good!" "I'm dying." "Look who it is!" "How long is it since we've seen this young man?" "An eternity, at least." "Hello, Auntie." "Mum, too many flowers!" "One's daughter doesn't get married every day." "And you, handsome?" "You came alone after all?" "Olivier's in Greece." "I'm sorry, darling." "It's the best time to go." "Who's Olivier?" "Let's get to work." "Are they all in water?" "Olivier's my boyfriend." "We're homosexuals, Auntie." "The flush is mended." "It's fine now." "Thank you, I'm coming." "Maybe I was a touch too direct." "I need to talk to you." "No rest for the wicked." "What's wrong?" "The cancer." "It's back." "Red spots all over, nodules." "I'm covered in them." "Have you talked to Mum?" "I think I'm getting on her nerves." "I need to sit down somewhere quiet." "On my own." "I'm frightened, Mathieu." "Very frightened." "Look, I'll have a word with Mum." "Tell her you need peace and quiet, okay?" "All right?" "I really can't come to the wedding." "That's not an option." "As father of the bride." "I could go to a hotel, but I had a bad experience recently." "I can't take the car, your mother needs it later." "So I need you." "Drop me on the edge of the forest." "Then I'll take the bridal paths." "That way, I won't meet anyone." "Put my big waterproof and a thermos of coffee in your car." "Some biscuits would be good, too." "Biscuits?" "Something plain." "Digestives." "Nothing chocolatey." "Go downstairs and mingle." "Nobody must get wind of this." "Right." "Thanks." "I feel much better." "These are our witnesses." "You know Sophie." " Hello, Anne." " Hello, Sophie." "And Philippe's best man, Titof." "Hello." "The guys all came to give the boss a surprise." "Rodrigue..." "Vince..." "Jean-Paul, Marc..." "Benoit..." "Kai... and Diego!" " What time do we set off?" " 2 o'clock." "He doesn't like crowds." "We'll take him out." "You don't need me?" "No." "Off you go." "We haven't spotted the away team." "No chance of that." "Philippe doesn't see his Dad, his brother's in jail, his Mum's dead." "What does Jean-Paul have to say?" "He thinks he's not quite like us." "But I'm beginning to wonder if it's a good thing to be like us." "He won't come." "He won't help me." "He wants to go hiking with a supply of biscuits." "The wedding's at 3." "Can you drop by?" "No panic." "I'll see him on Monday." "Tell him to double the dose of pills, but keep an eye on him." "Thanks, Doctor." "Shit!" "He walks straight over, headbutt, forearm smash, and he's KO." "Dad's gone missing." "He may be in the forest." "Search party, boss?" "I'm going to look for him." "Don't tell Cathie." "Standby." "Dad!" "Fuck!" "It's your brother." "What the hell?" "It's your brother." " See?" "I was right." " Shit." "Jean-Paul, are you okay?" "I'm fine." "Myfoot got snagged." "I tripped when I was walking." "I twisted my ankle, but it's okay." "We can drive you home." "No, walking's better for my ankle." "No, you need to put ice on it." "I'll get the car." "Come on." "I'm all right." "Don't be silly." "Can't you butt out for once?" "You turn my brother into a vegetable, now you start on us?" "Leave me alone!" "He's mad!" "Did you hear that?" "No, with the wind..." "Mrs Muret?" "Can't you try calling me Anne?" "Sure, thanks." "I'll try." "I'll see you later." "Your husband's gone missing." "What are you talking about?" "He's back." "I'm sorry." "Everything's fine." "The jogger in the cap, isn't that him?" "Sorry for this morning." " What for?" " Not listening." "You had a lot on." "How are you feeling?" "Better." "Much better." "Your wrist." "You're bleeding." "I must have caught it on the barbed wire." "It looks like a bite." " It wasn't that damn dog?" " No, don't worry." "I've not been a terribly good husband." "Don't be silly, I haven't always been very attentive or considerate." "I'm too uptight." "Too stiff." "Always have been." "I see that now." "I love you." "You won't have to worry about me now." "What do you mean?" "I feel much lighter." "Detached." "Good." "I'll go down now." "Yes." "Where's Mathieu?" "Have you seen Mathieu?" " Mathieu, this is Philippe." " I can't hear you." "Can you hear me now?" "Fooled you." "Leave a message." "Your father's come back." "I'm sorry but..." "We'll see you there." "Bye." "My daughter..." "My lovely, lovely daughter..." "What's up, Daddy?" "Come on, in the car..." "Mathieu's here." "Is the boy next to him his husband?" "No, one of Philippe's employees." "Nothing wrong with homosexuality." "As long as one's careful about hygiene." "Miss Catherine Muret, will you take to be your wedded husband" "Mr Philippe Faure?" "I will." "Mr Philippe Faure, will you take to be your wedded wife" "Miss Catherine Muret?" "I will." "Having given your mutual consent, in my position as Registrar," "I solemnly declare you to be joined in matrimony." "It's not quite over." "Please sign the registry with your witnesses." " How are you, Dad?" " In excellent form." " How many?" " How many what?" "Pills." "A good handful." "That way, we'll be okay." "Jesus!" "I'd like to meet your boyfriend." "Is that the right word?" "He isn't here." "What's that?" "You're bleeding." "That's odd." "What's going on?" "Your daughter's married." "Good." "That's that done." "I don't make a speech?" "No, just a toast to Cathie and Philippe." " And I sit down." " Great." "What are you doing on your own?" "Playing hide-and-seek with Sarah." "But I don't like her and it's her turn to hide." "If I don't look for her, she won't bother me." "A kiss!" "Sorry, excuse me." "Why did you invite him?" "Who?" "Shit." "I completely forgot." "Your father invited him, not me." "When he came to dinner." "You came." "Well now..." "We're all here." "That's my father." "Let's go and see the ducks." "And my mother..." "Okay, let's do it." "You must be Olivier." "Yes." "Hello there." "I'm Mathieu's mother." "It's a real pleasure to meet you." "For me, too." "This is for you." "Thank you." "Olivier!" "Marvellous!" "You came!" "That's so cool!" "Not that!" "You think this is funny?" "Your first car!" "What do I look like!" "And now... the father of the bride." "To Cathie, my wonderful daughter... and her husband, Philippe." "I suppose some of you may know" "I've been under the weather recently." "Disaster strikes." "We look forward to retiring and having the time at last to enjoy life." "Time to travel, time to read all those books on bridges and viaducts we get every Christmas." "Shortly after I retired," "I discovered, just above my hip, a small tumour." "I realised that the path we're on always leads to death." "Welcome to the family, my love." "We bury our heads in the sand." "We take it all for granted." "Trees, people, cakes..." "One day, we see they'll be taken away." "We realise too late." "Cathie, my little girl..." "Nothing and nobody is immortal." "Don't ever forget it." "Don't miss out on anything." "I'll smash his face in!" "You rotten old shit!" "He stared at me." "I saw his scrawny arse going up and down between her..." "Stop it, Dad, be quiet!" "Can you take him to his room?" "Sorry, Mr Barnier." "We're very sorry." "I wondered whether to come." "I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have done it." "I'm the one who did something I shouldn't have." "I was in a kind of fog." "I forgot about everybody else." "How long have you known?" "The day I was meant to go to Brittany." "I came home and saw you here..." "On the bed." "I shouldn't have kept it to myself." "I'm sorry." "You have no idea how sorry I am." "Where are you going?" "I apologise." "I don't know what came over me." "It's okay, Mr Muret." "Sorry, I ruined your wedding." "You didn't ruin anything, Dad." "Look, everyone's forgotten." "I very much doubt that." "I won't leave you." "And I won't ask you to leave." "Unless you want to." "No." "Anyway, it'd be absurd." "Divorce is charming when you're young." "At our age, it's ridiculous." "It was well hidden, but I found one." "My hero!" " Seen you!" " Busted!" "I knew it!" "I thought you'd left." "Without saying goodbye?" "Did you boff her?" "Tell me the truth!" "We just went for a stroll." "You little tease, prowling around the garden." " One for the road?" " No way!" "Are you crazy?" "Have fun!" "Come on, baby!" "Coming." "See you, you terror." "Let's get in the car." " See you." " Drive safely." "See you, lovebirds." "Bye, Daddy." " The marquee's done." " Thank you." "I put a Chablis in the fridge." "We've never been to Bruges." "It's not far." "True, it's a shame." "The salmon was just right yesterday." "Yes." "Often, it's too dry."