"Lieutenant O'Hara, how is that order coming?" "Afraid we have a problem, Captain Long." " A problem?" " Seems Fongs is out of moo shu chicken." "Sirens of Titan." "I guess I'll just have to go with the beef and broccoli then." " Aye, captain." " And don't forget to order those crispy little noodles I like." "Patrolling the outer boundary would be unbearable without decent Chinese takeout." "[BEEPING]" "MAN:" "Hmm, that's strange." "Is it the Chinese food?" "Don't tell me Fongs changed their packaging again." "No, captain, these things brought themselves onboard." "I've never seen anything like them." "Security team to the Evaporator Room." "[ALARM WAILING]" "[WEAPONS COCK]" "What is it?" "[SCREAMS]" "[LAUGHING]" "What happened to him?" "[GROANING]" "[LAUGHING]" "Oh, my." "[LAUGHING]" "[SCREAMS THAN GASPS]" "[ALL LAUGHING]" "I must warn the Earth." "[GROANS]" "[LAUGHING]" "I claim this asteroid and all its mineral wealth in the name of Mars." "Isn't that lovely?" "[SCREAMS]" "Back off, Martian." "I'm claiming this moon pebble for the Earth." "Too late." "I saw it first." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, eat plasma, shorty." "[SCREAMS]" "See here, Dodgers the language in the treaty of finders versus keepers is quite clear." "I'm afraid he's right, captain." "Give me that thing." "Hmm." "DODGERS:" "Maybe if I stare at this piece of paper long enough people will think I can read." "COMMANDER:" "I wonder if he's really even reading that treaty." "CADET:" "Who's he trying to kid?" "I know he returned the Addicted to Reading tapes I gave him last Christmas." "I think I found a loophole." "What do you say to that, Judge Judy?" "I can't abide a scofflaw." "How about you, Cadet?" "Oh, I've got some ointment back on the ship that'll take care of that." "Aha!" "Surprise jetpack." "Little bit harder hitting a moving target." "Nice shooting, Annie Oakley." "COMMANDER:" "Whoa." "Lookie what I found." "A pair of smelly old sneakers." "COMMANDER:" "Whoa." "And they're attached to a smelly old Martian." " End of the line, Icarus." "COMMANDER:" "No!" "What's the matter, Marcia, afraid of heights?" "My father once dangled me from a balcony just to impress the paparazzi and looky-loos." "Aw, poor little pipsqueak." " Whoops." "Heh, heh." "COMMANDER:" "Whoa." "DODGERS:" "Almost lost you there." "COMMANDER:" "That does it." "Give me that jetpack." "[BOTH GRUNTING]" "Simmer down, kettle-head." "Give it to me." "Boy, you really do hate heights, ugh." "This is gonna end in disaster." "[BOTH GRUNT]" "COMMANDER:" "Huh?" "[BOTH SCREAMING]" "Help, Cadet!" "[SCREAMING]" "No, no, no!" "[BOTH SCREAMING]" "What's that?" "I believe we've discovered some sort of unidentified element." "I bet it's an enchanted magical rock." "Heed my wishes, mighty stone, for I am your new master." "[ALL GROANING]" "Captain, the rock didn't listen to you." "[ALARM WAILING]" "I don't like the looks of this." "Captain Long's starship is dangerously close to the Martian border." "[OVER RADIO] Come in, Protectorate starship." "I repeat, come in." "Captain Long, your ship is off-course and drifting into Martian territory." "Captain Long?" "[LAUGHING]" "Oh, no." "The Fudd." "Captain, is there anyone else on--?" "Oh, this is bad." "Very, very, very bad." "This is I.Q. Hi placing an emergency call to the queen of Mars." "Are you aware that one of your ships has crossed into Martian territory?" "That's the second treaty Earth has broken today." "I take umbrage at that, Your Majesty." "Earth would never knowingly violate a treaty." "Roll the clip." " Dodgers." " So fair warning." "We're commandeering your ship." "I wouldn't do that, Your Highness." "That ship has been infected by the Fudd." "Oh, Ignatius." "You never were a good liar." "ROBOT:" "Commander, we've been cleared to take control of Protectorate." "Launch the Boarding Team." "Follow me, men." "By the order of the Martian Empire, I-- Oh, no." "[ALL LAUGHING]" "The Fudd." "Retreat." "Gotta get out of here." "[GASPS]" "[LAUGHING]" "We've ascertained that one of the infected ships is heading for Earth." "And the other for Mars." "We can't allow this thing to spread." "Recall all units." " Okay, now I've got you right where" " Excuse me, Captain Dodgers but I've received an urgent message from Earth." "COMMANDER:" "Pretty lame to interrupt a battle." "ROBOT:" "An important message for you, commander." "COMMANDER: "Return to Mars immediately." "Fudd spreading rapidly."" "DODGERS:" "Hmm." "I wonder what mine says." "[ALL LAUGHING]" "COOTER:" "Look there, zeke, a falling star." "Let's go see where it done fell, Cooter." "What in tarnation?" "[LAUGHING]" "No!" "[LAUGHING]" "CARBONITE:" "Reports are coming in from all over the world." "Beijing, New York, Rio de Janeiro." "The whole planet is turning" "[SCREAMS]" "[LAUGHING]" "[BANGING ON DOOR]" "Barricade those doors." "We're Earth's last hope." "We've got to keep them out." " Hi, fellas." " Huh?" "Hey, you might wanna oil those hinges." "That door is sticking a bit." "Hey, how did you get through the Fudd unaffected?" "I have absolutely no idea." "But no one is immune to" "[ALL LAUGHING]" "The Fudd!" "No, no, no, stay away." "No." "[LAUGHING]" "Hey, Doc, got your message." "Sorry I'm late." "The streets are full of chortling lunatics." "[LAUGHING]" "Glad to see you're not angry." "[CHUCKLING]" "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you in such a good mood." "You're usually so serious and crabby." "Captain Dodgers." "What are you doing?" "Just hanging with my bud, Dr. I be creepy!" "[SCREAMING]" "Get him off of me!" "Get him off of me!" "Get away from me!" "You creepy freak." "No means no!" "[PANTING]" "Yuck." "We've gotta get out of here." "Everyone's infected with the Fudd." "Double yuck." "COMMANDER:" "No!" "No!" "Get away from me!" "[LAUGHING]" "Mommy!" "I've scanned every continent." "And we seem to be the only two Earthlings unaffected by the Fudd." "Are you sure?" "I'm looking a little pukey." "We're fine, captain." "I only wish I knew why." "COMMANDER [ON-SCREEN]:" "As do I." "For Mars has also fallen to the Fudd." "Maybe we should just zap those losers with that magical rock." "Must you always be so stupid?" "He might be on to something." "Perhaps that strange radiation rendered us some sort of immunity." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Who's stupid now, stupid?" "Then the three of us should band together, save our planets and put an end to this mindless menace." "And now if we strike the mineral stone at precisely the same angle" "The immunity radiation will be released and captured in this jar." "Sounds simple enough." "Then begin the procedure." "Oh, Fudd." "Uh, fudge." "CADET:" "That didn't work." "Try to hit it harder." "I hear and I obey." " It's working." "COMMANDER:" "Activating the immunity jar." "Now we may be able to strike down the Mother Fudd and free our people." "We?" "Our?" "Oh, no, you don't." "We're on opposite sides." "But don't you see?" "We'll have to work together." "We'll have to form a team." "Teamwork is the only way." "Hmm, a team, yes." "But more than a team, a family." "I'll be the daddy." "You can be the mommy." "And you can be the baby." "One big happy family unit." "Uh, how about we start with a team and see how that goes?" "Why is Captain Dodgers always trying to get me into a diaper?" "DODGERS:" "There she is." "The Mother Fudd's ship." "So are you ready, family?" "COMMANDER:" "I thought we were going to be a team." "Right." "Then family it is." "[ALL CHANTING]" "Now to find the Mother Fudd." " I'm ready." " Me too." "Oh, my." "COMMANDER:" "It's the Mother Fudd." "Kind of reminds me of the Macy's Thanksgiving parade, you know?" "Just add a couple of baton twirlers and you've got a timeless classic." " We've gotta get closer." " I've got an idea." "COMMANDER:" "Are you sure this will work?" " I've seen it work before." " Oh, yeah?" "Where?" " The Wizard of Oz." "Who's that?" "Um, he was one of our greatest military tacticians, you know?" ""If ever a wiz, a wiz there was."" "No copyright infringement." "This is a tribute, people." "[MOTHER FUDD LAUGHING]" "Fellow Fudds we stand on the brink of our greatest victory." "The entire solar system will soon be under our control." "I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard an evil tyrant despot say that." "Now with the combined forces of Earth and Mars we will finally be able to invade the sun." "He's crazy and stupid." "The signal to begin the invasion of the sun is already being broadcast to our brethren on Earth and Mars by this powerful beacon." "Invade the sun." "Invade the sun." "Invade the sun." "One solar system under Fudd." "[ALL LAUGHING]" "COMMANDER:" "I've got an idea, but we must hurry." "We'll attach the immunity jar to this beacon and administer the antidote to our planets." "One of us must climb to the top of this tower to achieve perfect triangulation." "And the others must find the main control and boost the power of the signal." "We can do that but you'll have to climb the tower and attach the immunity jar." "But I'm...." "I'm...." "I'm scared of heights." "Now, listen here, buster the Fudd has got us down." "We're in a tight spot." "And things look bleak for our side." "It's the bottom of the ninth and it's all up to you." "So you're going to clamber up that rickety ladder to yonder heights and you're gonna be scared, plenty scared but you're gonna do it for the Gipper." "COMMANDER:" "For the Gipper." "Who's the Gipper?" "[LAUGHING]" "MOTHER FUDD:" "Interlopers." "Now to find those controls." "[LAUGHING]" "Feel the wrath of my giant head, you nasty interlopers." "[SCREAMS]" "Hey, watch it, mohel." "That was a near bris." "[MOTHER FUDD LAUGHING]" "You can't hide from the Mother Fudd." "Now, it'll take some fancy footwork to stall old chrome dome." "Come out, come out, wherever you are." "Alley-oop." "You're making Mother angry." "Now to find those controls." "Almost there." "I've made it." "Oh, dear." "What are gonna do, make a nest and roost up there?" "No." "As a matter of fact, I'm here to dance." "[GRUNTING]" "Your buck-and-wing is driving me crazy." "The controls." "Curse these ridiculously short arms." "I made it." "Now to boost the power." "Huh?" "Oh, no." "Words." "If I can't grab you, I'll crush you." "Now, that sounds like overcompensation." "Heh, bye-bye, piggy." "What would Gene Kelly do in a pinch like this?" "[MOTHER FUDD LAUGHS]" "Gotta dance!" "[CADET SCREAMING]" "Now to attach the immunity jar." "Almost got it." "Ay, caramba, mi cabeza es muy scrambled." "Captain Dodgers, where are you?" "I'm right here, boy-oh." " Did you boost the power?" " Well, not exactly." "Hurry, captain, hurry." "Well, but I can't--I-- The instructions are" "I can't read." "Oh, captain, why did you return those Addicted to Reading tapes?" "Well, after I learned all the songs, I thought I'd return them for a cheese grater." " You learned the songs?" " Yeah." "They're pretty catchy." "[SINGING] Each letter of the alphabet is your friend" "[SINGING] They all make funny noises That form words in the end" "If you know all 26 verses, you should be able to read." "Just sound them out." "Hmm, "Put." Put." ""The." The." "You're doing good, captain." ""Lever."" "Lever." "I can." " He can." " I can read." "COMMANDER:" "There." "The immunity radiation is being fed into the beacon." "The rest is up to you, Dodgers." ""To increase power, use sequential buttons to override nuclear power limiters."" "Hurry, captain, we're running out of time." "[CRASHING NEARBY]" "You've already run out of time." "[LAUGHING]" "DODGERS:" "And now put the lever in the on position." "All Protectorate captains begin the invasion of the sun." "[CLEARS THROAT]" "That thing about invading the sun, let's forget about that." "Invasion of the sun canceled." "[LAUGHS THAN GRUNTS]" "They actually did it." "[LAUGHS THAN GRUNTS] zeke, I think our bodies was just possessed by a mysterious alien life form." "Whoa, it was either that or some wicked swamp gas, Cooter." "[ALL LAUGHING]" "Bob, any idea why we're wearing matching outfits?" "Hurray, it worked!" "Now I've got you, you rascally warthog." "[LAUGHING]" "[GRUNTING]" "CADET:" "Whoa." "Shouldn't I be hunting rabbits?" "[LAUGHING]" "HI:" "Ladies and gentlemen we are assembled here to honor the saviors of both Earth and Mars without whom, our people would be destroyed." "[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]" "Well, I guess we learned some valuable lessons today about conquering our fears." "And the value of a proper education." "That's right, kids." "Stay in school." "Don't sass your elders, and always color within the lines." "Because if you're good and lucky you'll grow up to be just like me." "[English" " US" "SDH]"