"THE TRAFFIC JAM" "Lawyer. ." " Yes." "hello, Ferreri!" "Thank you Commander." "By dear." "How was Africa, lawyer?" "Africa is a sewer." "Except the little good that the British did, of which soon there'Il be no trace." "You picked the wrong time to land in Rome." "Three hours from Dakar to here, and as many to get to your country estate." "And this makes you laugh?" " No sir." "Get a move on!" " lt takes patience." "is it all ready for the hunting trip?" "Who's coming?" "The Honourable Abbadei, the chairman of Onix, the Marquise DedaIi-Contini, . ." "professor Gallucci, and under-secretary Marenco." "You see these, Ferreri?" "They don't know why they're in the car." "They got into the car this morning to get on my nerves!" "I should make you abort by dint of slaps!" "But times have changed!" "Parents must be friendly and sympathetic, with this crap of children." "And I'lI provide you with obstetrician and midwife." "But one thing is certain: the son of dishonor does not enter my house!" "At your home?" "I won't go back to your home!" "This piece of... !" " Hands off!" "You, listen to dad, he speaks for your good." " My good?" "My only good is the child I bear." "And my son and is a creature of God, Iike the son of Brigida." "Oh no!" "Make no confusion!" "Mine is a legitimate child." "A child born of parents regularly married, and not conceived with the first comer." "Yeah, the first!" " Will you shut up?" "Where are we?" "We're in Rome!" ""Where are we"... I came here on my honeymoon." "will it take long yet?" "A bit of champagne, lawyer?" " lt's cool." " Yes." "hold the glass." "But couldn't we go a little slower?" "Slow down." "He's in bad shape!" "What are you saying?" "At four there's the game on TV." "Dear, the button to the right." " l know." " This, look." "asshole!" "Faggot!" "What do you think, Irene?" "You think we'lI get to celebrate the golden wedding?" "meanwhile, Iet's celebrate the silver ones." "Sure, with the cost of gold today, better the silver ones." "I wonder if in Sorrento they'Il give us the same room." "Yes, they will, because I've asked for it." "What a nice thought!" "Yes, the room will be the same one." "I'm no longer the same, though." "What a fool!" "What's that kissing?" "You're old!" "Yeah, go on kissing... lf Mara were here, I'd show you what we two can do in the car." "Oh, no!" "Enough!" "I must no longer think of Mara." "She'Il be already waiting now!" "Shall we move on?" "What the fuck do you want?" "Honk, honk!" "Ready?" " Ready." " Go!" "What's up?" "Why you laughing?" "Riccardo told us a joke!" "On what subject?" "I'm not gonna tell you." "You don't know how to laugh." "And the others have heard it already." "tell me, and I promise to laugh." " No!" "What bastards you are!" ""Do not touch my dick..." "I get irritated!"" "Let's change road... if we make it." "call colonel Loffredo of the traffic police and ask which route is best." "See?" "You can't go the wrong side!" "Get out there, stop the traffic." "I must complete the maneuver, go." "They won't stop!" "Get in the middle!" "Stop them!" "There!" "You can do the maneuver!" "Ferreri!" "As soon as the queue moves again, create a void!" "Hey, listen, you!" "Tell the asshole down there, that the cuckold is he." "shall I tell him myself?" " Yes, tell him." "What said that moron?" " He said "tell... "" "Shall I really tell him?" " Tell him." "He said: "Tell that asshole that the cuckold... is you. "" "tell him I'm single." "He said he's single." "tell him his father too was single." "What did he say?" "He said... that also your father was single." "But without malice, only for joking." "Tell him that when I get off I'll ream his ass like this." "What did he say?" "He said. . that. . when he gets off, he'Il ream. . your ass like this." "Cretin!" "Moron!" "Let's stay calm and avoid accidents." "We're all nervous wrecks, just a scratch and they may shoot you." "Because, a traffic jam can make you be late, but with an accident, you may never arrive, and Mara is awaiting me." "They say that the wait increases the desire." "Beware!" "Beware of not smoking too much!" "I read somewhere that tobacco Iessens virility." "In these cases, the only thing to do is to stay quiet." "Why?" "Who said that?" "The gun!" "Don't joke around, pull out my gun!" "Where is it?" " Come on, pull out his willy." " willy?" "Where is it?" "Hey, I can't find it!" " What're you doing?" "Come on, tell me where you put the gun." " Eyes left!" "What are they?" "Martians?" "These are the Italians:" "all on the road's wrong side!" "discipline is not our forte." "That's the trouble." "Ever been to Moscow?" " Not yet." "Well, all roads have one lane always free, for firemen, ministers and senior officials." "Here, the public transport lanes are clogged by private cars." "Here, but not there." "If anyone dares, Ferreri, if he dares..." "What?" " They shoot him." "They send him to Siberia!" " Once, Siberia." "Now they shoot him." "No!" " Yes." " No." " Yes." " No!" " Yes!" "Enough!" "Take my word for, Ferreri." " Yes, lawyer." "A child without a father is like a plant without light, he'lI never be happy." "So, try to please dad, let's discard this one." "When you find a nice husband we'll make another in God's grace." "Yes, make Dad happy." "Hey!" "well?" "Are you nuts?" "Don't you know that urine corrodes the paint?" "It's infant urine, it's piss of angel!" "Yes, of angel!" "He also did it on my car, you can't see anything." "And you call that a car?" "Hey, what's the displacement?" "How much?" "What?" "The Jag, how much it costs?" "And once you know?" "well, just to know..." "Turn off the engines." "Save fuel." "Turn off the engines." "Save fuel." "Turn off the engines." "Save..." "But what's going on?" "Ferreri, turn off everything, including the air conditioning." "Giovanni?" "Tell him to wait before cooking the pasta." " Okay." "Giovanni?" "Get also some mineral water." " Alright." "You have a phone token?" " Yeah." " Okay." "Ferreri?" "What're you looking at?" " Me?" "Nothing." "Then don't move." "Does he screw them both?" "Photographers are all fags." "Why don't you unload me?" "What's up, there's no room in the hospital?" "Granddad, stay calm, we're not at the hospital yet." "How much will I get?" "Of jail?" "No, money." "I was run over by a bus." "The public transport pays." "On the crosswalk." "I was run over on the crosswalk." "I was lucky." "What can I lose?" "A leg?" "But I ache all over!" "You who are experienced, do the account." "Suppose that I remain infirm, how much do I get?" "I don't know, it depends on your income when alive." "But I'm not dead." "Give him a shot of morphine, so he shuts up." "What are you looking for, darling?" " Nothing." "Nothing?" "Then why did you empty your bag?" "I'm looking for house keys." "I can't find them." "You wouldn't happen to have them?" "Who closed the door?" "Me." "Then you should have the keys." "But I can't find them." "Seek well, dear, seek well." "Of course, how stupid, I didn't know!" "One can seek well or seek bad!" "And of course, I seek bad." "When you closed the door, where did you put the keys, darling?" "I thought in my bag." " If you did, they'lI be there." "They should be there, but are not." "If they're not there it means you didn't put them." "Instead I've put them and they're not there!" "Who closed the door?" " l did!" "Then if you don't have them, it means that you left them in the lock." "Right, since I'm an idiot!" " l didn't say that." "You didn't, but you think so." " No, I think of else." "I think of what thieves will say." "They're able to open even armored doors!" "Imagine!" "When the thieves will find the key in the lock, how they'll be happy!" "I'm sure they'll say: "Thanks, gents, thanks a lot!" "You're really very kind!"" "No one answers." "How is it possible?" "Try another number." "See, I am a socialist, and as socialists say, to each according to his needs." "Now, I need the car, and these don't." "Not them!" "well?" " No way. lt seems that even your domestics went out by car." " By God!" "I'll fire them all!" "You know what I'm losing today?" " A hunting trip." "And I organize hunting trips for fun?" "Through his Eminence I bind the Vatican." "They'lI close my factory for pollution." "Now, if the Vatican agrees, the factory won't close and the workers are safe." "You see that I'm a socialist?" "Where are you going?" "To pee." "Come on, don't do so!" "Stick to the phone!" "call the airport if there's a helicopter." "Or call General Pace." "The only way out of this complete mess, is by helicopter." "What about the car?" " You stay, right?" "call." "Excuse me, can I make a call please?" "It's a radio-teIephone." "My excuses." "hello!" "Hello." "Will you drink something with us?" "No, thank you." "Are you a feminist?" "Yes." "Asshole." "Miss?" "Miss..." "You play for a living, or you play just for..." " What?" "No, nothing. I just wanted to know if you play for a living or for fun." "Speak louder, louder." "I just wanted to know if you play for a living or for work." "I don't grasp the meaning of the question." " l got confused." "I just wanted to know if..." "Never mind." "hopefully we restart soon." " What a type!" "What did you want to know?" "I just wanted to know if..." "Cars are made for going, and instead they're stationary." "They make new roads, and they also make new cars, you know?" "There they are!" "The roads are yet to be finished, and the new cars already come." "For sure we're a people full of imagination!" "We got the car to go?" "Instead we're stationary!" "There's a law that allows abortion?" "And this piece of wretch..." " Hands off!" "Don't wash your dirty linen in public!" " l'll kill her!" "He wants to kill my child!" "We're in Naples?" "Granny!" "Germana's got a child in her belly!" "And has no father!" "We're going!" "We start." "Go, go, go!" "You saw those assholes?" "Give me a phone token." "Ain't got any, I'm out of." "Now that they're all gone?" "Open the phone, come on, get them from the phone!" "I ain't got the key, I'm closing." "Boy, close!" "Lawyer!" "Sir, the helicopter!" " The helicopter!" "Here." "Where is it going?" "Where is it going?" "Where are you sending it?" "Come, come, come..." "Hello, hello?" "Helicopter?" "call in English!" "By God, Ferreri!" "It's coming back?" "So long!" "You must call in English!" "But I also said it in French, they didn't respond." "Sir, would you give me some mineral water for a child of a few months who's crying desperately?" "No." "Thank you." "Very kind." "Sir, you got a flat tire." "Sir, for 3,000 i'll change it." "Where's the spare?" "One thousand lire is fine." " alright." "It's carbonated?" " No." "Thank goodness, or it swells my stomach!" "Do you give a sip to the granma?" "Thanks." "Did you Iike aunt's water?" "You shouldn't even let her get near the kids, got it?" "Ferreri." "Ferreri, offer them 1,000 lire, no, whatever they ask, for that bottle." "I'm thirsty." "I can't keep on drinking champagne!" "Listen..." "Would you sell me that bottle?" "5,000 lire." " Yeah, 5,000 lire!" "10,000, if you want it." "Let go." "Let go!" "Sir, we are poor but honorable." "The bottle, we don't sell it." "But we'Il offer you a drink with pleasure." " Thank you, very kind." "Thank you very much." "They gave it for nothing, poor folks." "Too bad it's warm." "Good and fresh." "Why haven't you paid?" "I like to pay things." "They didn't want anything." "They're good people." "You don't know shit if you say good, poor." "Either they're good or poor." "The poor are never good!" "And what can they do us?" "Everything!" "They hate us!" "Asshole!" "Get off!" "Hey!" "Who did you call asshole?" " Him, your son!" "So what?" "RascaIs!" "Get off that car, you're spoiling it!" "But, damn..." "Get off, come on!" "Ersilio, where you going?" "No, huh!" "No, hey!" "Down, down." "Go away!" "Get off!" "You want to break my car?" " You can't call that a car!" "Carloni!" "What, sir?" "What's going on?" "Why aren't we moving?" "Nothing, sir, a traffic jam, a gridlock." "What is it, a level crossing closed?" "No, it's a real gridlock." "Like that, natural." "all right." "There is Montefoschi!" " Who, the actor?" " Yes." " Marco Montefoschi?" "Who cares about Montefoschi?" " Who?" " Right him" " Marco Montefoschi?" "Are you sure it's him?" " Let me see." "Who is?" "Who is?" "Montefoschi, can I have an autograph?" "Carloni..." "Has he aged!" "I don't even recognize him." "well, years go by just for me?" "I send them away?" " No, Iet them." "Look how my daughter dances." "will you get out of the way?" "Let him watch, will ya?" "How handsome you are!" "Ma'am, let him see!" "Thank you, thank you..." "But why don't you go fuck off?" "Thank you, bravo." "They'll even wreck the car, these wretches!" "Hey!" "Carloni!" "CarIoni, where are you?" "Doctor, I have found this man." " Good day." "So?" " He has a house just off the road." "Why don't you go rest a bit?" "Maybe a snack. - lf you do me the honor, you may freshen up and eat something." "Well, but if we restart..." "Where is your house?" "A few steps away." " Right there, beside the road." "Carloni, come!" "Protect me, come!" "Come on this other side!" "Don't get out, I'lI come there." "Back, stand back!" "Don't push!" "Stand back!" "Sir?" "I'm here. lt's me." "Take him by the hand." "Look, it's over there." " Come, sir, I'Il protect you." "Stand back!" "You'Il hurt him!" "Go away!" " Montefoschi!" "Let him through!" "Montefoschi!" "Do you pay the taxes?" "Enough with this water!" "Teresa!" "Pull up the hose!" "Otherwise it'll be us to remain without water." "What now?" "No more water?" "See what they've done here?" "A bit more and they'd cut my house!" "But I won't move from here!" "They must give me a new home or kick me out at gunpoint!" "I say well?" " well..." " l'Il lead the way." "Anyway, come get me soon." " Let him be, until restart!" "Sir, you like fettuccine with sausage?" "Teresa?" "Look who's here." " Good morning." " Good morning." "But how can you not recognize him?" "She can't recognize me." "lately I've done above all theater, and then, now, with this beard for my next job..." "No, my wife is truly silly." "Montefoschi." "Montefoschi Marco." "Oh, I'm so sorry, sir!" "But, I always watch you on TV!" "Excuse the glove." "Then, in person, you're so different." "Different how?" " More... more handsome." "They were driving him crazy down there, with the autographs." "Boors!" "Go get a towel, he needs one." "Bring it clean, huh?" "The bathroom is here." "Come, sir." "Thank you." " Sure." "Thank you." "What are you thinking?" "A lot of things." "I should have gotten married, but we couldn't find a house." "Then you do have a girlfriend." "Sure!" "No." "That is, not in the sense you think though." "How?" "And what is the sense I think?" "One who... when you want to make love, is game right away." "Yours doesn't let you?" "No, she lets me make it." "So then?" "But you see, it's always a struggle." "Because she's afraid of getting pregnant." "Doesn't she take the pill?" "The doctor has said she can't take it." "It may be..." "No, look, the doctor said it to me too." "There are other systems!" "The spiral..." "Yes, but how do I tell her that?" "Then, we never know where to go when we want to make love." "In a hotel, she won't come." "You can do it here." "Look." "Like that." "To tell the truth I thought of that, but it's not nice." "For whom?" "For her, or for the owner?" "For both." "You're all to be redone." "Will you escort me to pee?" "Where?" "I don't know, we'lI see." "Hey, you there, what do you do?" "What do you look at?" "Go away, impotent voyeurs!" "Aren't you ashamed?" "Go, go." "Scram!" "Go away!" "Sometimes I think the world is going crazy!" "Never mind them." "What do you care?" "It is useless for you to look for." "You won't find them." "I'm sorry but I found them." "Here!" "Oh yeah?" "These are the keys to mom's cellar that you lost two years ago." "They're not needed anymore." "We changed the lock." "Look at him!" "Look how happy he is!" "At heart, you'd hate if I found those keys." "You are crazy." "I know you." "You're likely to wish that they burgIarize the house, so to vent your hate against me!" "Irene, I lost just one big chance in my Iife, 25 years ago." "That of remaining single!" "I feel I'm clairvoyant." "I can see the keys:" "they're there, in the keyhole." "They speak, they call:" ""Sirs thieves, come over, run!" "Here's a golden opportunity!"" ""A cretin has facilitated your work. "" ""Apartment to loot." "Keys in the keyhole, and tenants stuck in the traffic jam. "" "If you want back your freedom, you can." "Irene, don't provoke me." "Listen carlo, I never wished anybody's death, but I swear: the widowhood must be something wonderful!" "Because a woman can speak well of her husband only as a widow." ""Oh, the good soul of my husband!" So they say, right?" "all the little escapades that you had." "I kept quiet, but I was aware." "I kept quiet because it suited me, but, . ." "eye for eye, tooth for a tooth!" " I pity you." "I pity you, you make me laugh." "Madame has had many lovers!" "Were it not for me, you'd still be a spinster!" "Now that I think about it... I think I gave those damn keys just to you." "If you had given me the keys, I would have put them here, in my pocket." "Instead, you didn't give me anything, and I have nothing." "Forget it." "When you least expect it you find them." "It always happens so." "Not even at gunpoint they'lI open." " Why?" "Come, lawyer." " They're afraid." "A quiet place, hidden." " Cursed squatters!" " Seems made on purpose!" "Where?" " Come, come." "Do not run, Ferreri, I can't..." " Easy, easy." "Find me a place." " Sure!" "Don't think about it." " Well, it never happened that, suddenly. ." "Here, I think here." "Ferreri!" "You see that..." "Where are you going?" " l don't know." " Wait." "Do it here behind." "Look." "Ferreri!" " Oh, have patience!" "Lawyer!" "There it is, a nice little place!" "Here it's quiet!" "Huh?" "Hurry up." " Now I'lI spread out the blanket..." "Here, Iike this..." "Thus, no one can see you." "How, no one?" "And you?" "Ferreri, turn around!" "Listen, . ." "Couldn't you stop that thing?" "Which thing?" "The taximeter." "Why?" "Since we don't move." "We are still and the taximeter runs." "It's life." "I. ." "I must go to nepal" "To me, you said to take you to the highway junction." "You thought that I was going to nepal by taxi?" "I'm going by hitchhiking." "I'm meeting my friends at the highway entrance." "For me..." "You've never been to India?" "I haven't been there, nor I wanna go." "Be kind, stop that thing." "See, I have just over 20,000, and we are already at 18." "I fear it's not enough." "Give it here." "That's it." "You can get off." " What?" "You've paid me..." "Get off." "But I have not arrived!" "If the money is over, so is the ride." "Get off, get off." "But look what manners!" "Where will I go now?" "They're waiting for me at the highway." "Hey, wait, don't go away!" "My suitcase!" "May I come with you up to the highway junction?" "Huh?" "I'm not going to Naples, no." "To India." "Up to the junction." "May I?" "Thank you." "Yuck, that sucks!" "See, Ferreri?" "You can always recognize humanity by the stink." "Take note, Ferreri." "Write:" "Viaduct construction... with interchange junction..." "Company..." "Have you written?" "Thank you." " So then?" "Ferreri?" "The lands are all owned by Roma Sud Real Estate, that had planned a semi-intensive urbanization, with permits etc. ." "Then, the public Works Ministry, with resolution etc. , has issued a variant on the regional roads plan, moving the expressway, this one there, further south, in a way that it came to bisect the land of the Roma Sud real estate." "Now everything stopped, since the pylons are made, but the road is not, because the developer has appealed to the State council." "And so there are neither houses nor roads." "As to say that Roma Sud was ripped off." "well!" "Get in the move." "Call Scamozzetti." "I want to buy the control of this firm." "But, how, lawyer?" "You want to buy a con?" " Yes." "A con can become a good deal." "See, Ferreri, if the firm passes into my hands, it wins the council appeal, the expressway moves north again, we throw away these pylons, with a digger we get rid of this shack, and I'lI make an intensive district" "connected to the city by this splendid and flowing expressway." "Excuse me." "It's your guitar?" "Can you sing?" " Yes." "will you sing?" "All right." "Bring me the guitar." "And the cigarettes." "There's a country where the children have to themselves many toy trains." "real trains, to let them roam, is not enough even this room." "Long trains from here to there, running through the city." "The stationmaster is a small boy barely larger than his whistle, the chief conductor is a little girl, cheerful as her little trumpet, they're children the controller, the engine driver and the brakeman." "All seats on the little wagons are close to the windows, and the ticket inspector, on his window, has posted this sign:" ""Messrs. parents who are willing to travel, who are willing to travel, must be accompanied. "" "You like it?" "Can you play another?" "Serena, what are you doing there?" "Come!" "Alessandro, What are you doing there?" "Come on up." "Maybe we restart." "Yes, we start." "Do you like children?" "What?" " Do you like children?" "Those of the others." "So, shall we make the account?" "We gotta see how many years you can live yet!" "Twenty..." "Ten..." "Permanent disability." "Then it's a Iot." "Then, if you were on the crosswalk." "You see?" "You see that in the misfortune I came out well?" "Let's speak softly, if not we'lI disturb." "Oh God!" "Giuseppe!" "Who is?" " My cat." "It remained closed at home." "I Iive alone." "Listen, I make you a gift." "Go to my house." "Give food and drink to my cat." " Yes, yes..." "Quiet." "To Giuseppe." "Sure that if I was interested in sports, it was much better." "At least now I wouldn't think of Mara." "Fortunately I have my cigarettes to keep me company." "Provided that they'lI last, or that this jam ends before my haIf-cigarettes." "They say that cigarettes are bad, and yet, what's better than a cigarette?" "especially after a good lay." "I must think of something sad." "Of a painful event." "Behold, that's it: now I think of the death of my aunt Luisa." "Last time I saw her she was already very serious." "Mara was with me." "I remember we made love standing in the hallway." "Mara..." "I hate you." "Mara, go away." "Mara, enough." "No, no, I don't hate you!" "I beg you, do not go!" "Come, come!" "The Italian team flag!" "Come this way for the flag!" "The flags at 1,000 lire!" "Buy the flags!" "Italy has won!" "Love, darling, come, we won!" "Are you happy?" "Professor, I'm sorry for you, you lost the bet: we won 1-0." "... the soccer game, the stadium was deserted  were trapped in the chain traffic jams  that are beginning to..." "Also this newscast, like all other programs, will be broadcast in a reduced version because of the lack of personnel." "The helicopters of the Army and of the Fire Brigade for emergency transports are insufficient." "And even the fuel risks shortage, since the tankers are stuck in the traffic." "From Fiumicino airport is reported that several airplanes go round by now at the fuel limit, pending arrival of air traffic controllers who should replace the ones who, exhausted after 1 2 uninterrupted hours of service, have abandoned their posts." "Drink." "Drink." "When I see her drinking with such passion, I love her even more!" "I was explaining to your husband that in the current state of things, the car, the motorvehicIe, no longer responds to a consumerist need, but is reduced to a status symbol, hence, whether it circulates or not, it doesn't matter at all." "How right!" "You agree, Franco?" "What?" "Yes, yes!" "I mean, I don't know." "Of course I would also circulate, with this car." "Professor, this goes to 160 without noticing." "You see, he still conceives the consumerist fact as a liberating act." "You are out of the way!" "Keep yourself updated." "Let's keep updated." "And if we had a little snack?" " Great!" "My wife, when we travel, thinks of everything." " Well, yes." "I need security." "The lady also foresaw emergency cases." "What are you doing?" "It may come in handy, right?" " Sure." "Come on, out your paws!" "What?" "Your hands." "Me too, me too." "What is it?" "Cleaning fluid with flowers of the Caribbean." "Power of mass media." "Franco, the water!" " Oh, what horror!" "Oh, I'm sorry, it has spilled!" "It doesn't matter, I'Il go get it." "I'Il make a run." "Sir, why don't you sit on the armchair?" "You'll be more comfortable." "No, I'm fine here, thanks." "You can eat safely here." "all homemade stuff." "The broadcast will resume asap" "It's cheek lard, not belly lard!" "It felt from how it tingles." "We need no belly, sir." "We already have one." "is it the first son?" " The first." "Or. . or the first daughter." "At the table." "Sit down, sir." " Thanks" "Try this wine." "Here." "Good." "Cheese." "Come on..." "Pecorino?" "Pecorino." "Go ahead, eat!" "Bon appetit." " Thank you, likewise." "will you stop with those headlights?" "Will you let us sleep?" "So, you know what I did?" "I went to the Party and I said:" "Oh, you marginalize the minorities?" "Fine." "Then I distance myself, I open to the left, I pick the very requests that come from the lower income layers, I create a disengagement zone, I raise the flag of the emergency, and I break the confrontation." "is that clear?" "So then?" " Then it's very clear!" "The honorable Bini beats off, I wait that Mariani dies, and they make me Senator." "Franco, you imagine?" "A friend Senator!" "I'm truly, truly glad!" "Can I give you a kiss?" "If Franco allows..." " But of course!" "I'll take it back from your future wife." "Not bad at all!" "Why, you don't know that our bachelor will marry?" "Although, ugly as he is, who knows what women find in him!" "It would take champagne to celebrate." " We got no champagne, I'll get some water." "I'll go myself." " No, I'll go." "But, no, I'll go. - l said I'Il go!" " Come on!" " l'Il go myself!" " please!" "When they say cases of life!" "You can't imagine how I knew." "No, I'd better. ." " No. -. . follow her." "Y'know, at night, with all these cars." "You'lI tell me later." " Yes, right." "Angela, let me explain the dynamics of the facts." "What fucking dynamics!" "angela, don't do that!" "Angela, listen!" "Angela, please!" "Angela?" "Do not touch me!" "feel mine, how light it is." "Indeed it's lighter." "But it's not the weight that counts, it's the volume." "How do you carry it in Summer?" " Better under the armpit." "Like the G-men." "You have to wear a jacket." "You wear a jacket in Summer?" " Sure!" "You can't carry it in your handbag." "Excuse me, snatcher, may I take the gun out of the handbag, so I shoot you?" "Harlot!" "Whore!" "Harlot!" "Whore!" " May I know with whom you have it?" "You talking to me?" " Yes." "I have it with the car." "But can't you do a bit more quietly?" "At least at night!" "Slut!" "Harlot!" "Whore!" "The broadcast will resume asap" "Mr. Montefoschi." "Why don't you stay and sleep here tonight?" "My nephew's room is always empty." "Yes... I don't know..." "We are a simple family." "We cannot offer you much, but..." "You've given me the most beautiful thing, an evening with the family." "I can imagine the liveliness in the city, huh?" "Boredom, you mean." "Wanna swap?" "What?" "Our lives." "Yours for mine." "What is your job?" "Mine?" "I'm a poor wretch, sir." "I drive a bulldozer." "And not even mine." "I earn a pittance." "all day on that sort of armored tank, for what?" "For 3,000 lire per hour." "You know what is my true passion, sir?" "The cinema." "Yes." "I don't know what I'd give to. ." "to get a driver post in Cinecitta." "Just for being next to the fabled world of cinema." "You'd earn less." "But my nerves would be saner." "You know, all day on that tank, I tremble like a leaf, back home l need 2 sleeping pills." "He dances all day on the digger and then in bed he still dances for haIf-hour." "You know what it takes now?" "A whiskey." "I got no whiskey." "I have wine if you Iike." "I have it, but it's in in the car." "Shall I fetch it?" "I wish!" "Thank you." "What are you doing?" "Are you crazy?" "Maybe... it's because I never had a child." "Oh, God!" "So they sing, get it?" "They sing!" "But I'Il shoot them!" "I'lI show them!" "Leave me!" "Get off me!" " The police!" "I care shit about the police!" "I got a permit!" "At night you sleep and during the day you work!" "But, they have it with us?" "They sing!" "And they don't wanna work!" "At night you sleep, in the day you work!" " So, go to sleep!" "Imagine, my father, for his last 7 years, never spoke again." "Not even on his deathbed." " He didn't speak to anyone?" "At home with anyone." "Outside, how would he do?" "He couldn't not speak." "He went to town fairs, selling things, a bit of everything, don't know." "One day we followed him at work, my brother Giacomo and I, and so we saw how he spoke, and how much he spoke." "And why not with you?" "One day, my mother flew into a rage, she seemed crazy." "I'd never seen her scream like that." "It had never happened before." "She yelled, she insulted him, she waved her hands in front of his face." ""You were not even able to buy a washing machine!"" "She had a fixation for laundry." "I always saw my mother washing with her hands ruined by water." "Since that time, my father. ." "did not speak ever again." "In the house, how did he do?" "Everything with gestures." "He would enter, take off his hat, go out. ." "But as for speaking, he was mute." "So he remained mute until his death." "But, your father was terrible." " Dad was not terrible!" "He was the kindest man I ever met." "He never slapped me." "He died when I was in the military." "This to say that, sometimes, life is like a novel." "What's your name?" " Martina." "Oh, look, my name is Mario!" " So?" "They both begin with M!" "Yeah." "That's true!" "Yeah." "It was better if I'd taken the train." "By now I would have arrived, and I'd be sleeping, in bed, with Mara." "Mara?" "Who is Mara?" "Mara does not exist." "Let us smoke a haIf-cigarette." "Enough now!" "Now, you sleep!" "And if I dream of her?" "Ferreri?" " Yes, lawyer." "Are you awake?" " Yes, lawyer." "For goodness sake, don't fall asleep." " No, lawyer." "Keep your eyes open, be on guard." "Here anything can happen, huh?" "Rest assured, lawyer." "We are surrounded by ugly varmints." "Vile people." "Sure, lawyer." " Watch out." "What is that noise?" "Ferreri!" "I'm eating... crackers, lawyer." "She sings, she sings..." "Rather than being ashamed." "Can I know at least what you're singing?" "# All the cars stuck in the road... #" " Germana!" "Germana!" "Yes!" "You know that dad loves you." " Yeah, I know!" " He always loved you." "So then, listen to me." "We must have an abortion." "That is, you must have an abortion." "Abortion is legalized now!" "You remember the referendum?" "It was right you who convinced me to vote for it." "What's that got to do, dad?" "That one was for the divorce!" "So what?" "It's the same thing!" "You're young, modern, open-minded..." "You won't tell me you're against abortion?" "No, I'm not against, but I won't have an abortion." " Why?" "Like mom when pregnant of Vittorio and you weren't married yet." "What the fuck are you saying?" "Later I married her, I gave a name to that child!" "is it true or not?" "Your name is Vittorio Gargiulo?" "Are you Vittorio Gargiulo?" " We leave?" " Gargiulo is an honorable name!" "A name you should be proud to bear!" "You understand?" "And you know how he cares?" "Silence!" "I can't take it no more, I got tired." "Hey, stop the car, I want to get off!" "Granny, it is from 12 hours that we're stationary here." "Oh yeah?" "It's fine, then!" "# Traffic jam..." "paralysis of Iife." "we are all bumper to bumper, traffic jam, a fucking bummer... #" "Germana..." "Yes, dad." "Don't use the word "fucking", or the TV won't broadcast it." "Thanks dad." "Angela!" "Don't do that, I beg you, Angela." "Look, nothing has changed between us." "Everything stays as before." "Don't do like that." "You know what you are to me." "You know weIl. I beg you." "Who is?" " Huh?" "Who is?" "Oh, yes..." "An insignificant woman, unimportant." "Even ugly." "But for what reason you think I did it?" "For my mom." "You know, she..." "She's old." "I had promised." "Before closing her eyes she wanted to see me married." "That woman doesn't interest me at all." "Nothing!" "He sleeps?" "Angela..." "And you wouldn't tell me?" " But what could I say?" "Put yourself in my shoes!" "It was a tragedy for me, believe me." "Angela, I Iove you." "Come here, angela." "Angela, come here, kiss me." "At least a kiss, I beg you!" "Give me a kiss." "Don't you sleep?" " Yes." "Yes, I sleep." "I mean, I tried to sleep." "At first I slept, then I woke up sudden..." "well, I get off for a moment, I'Il go for a walk." "He won't have heard?" "I throw myself under a car." "I throw myself under a car!" "I throw myself under a car!" "I throw myself under a car!" "I throw myself under a car!" "I throw myself under a car!" "I throw myself under a car!" "I throw myself under a car!" "Understood?" "I throw myself under a car." "I throw myself under a car!" "I am a cuckold!" "I want to die." " Bravo!" "Before dying, have a drink." "I was thirsty." "Thirsty for me?" "Beautiful. ." "beautiful. ." "Beautiful!" "Beautiful!" "Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful..." " Oh, yes!" "Beautiful!" "Hey, take it easy, you want to make me abort?" " No..." "Wait, I'II put myself above, huh?" "Yes." "Yes, do it all yourself, yes." "Excuse me, but, I was not prepared for this meeting." "Franco!" "Franco, get a move on." "We start, come on." "But what happened to you?" "It is half an hour you're out!" "What happened?" "Nothing." "Instead of a quickie, you took a nap." "Well, but now we leave, your husband wakes up." "Oh, no, he doesn't wake up." "Sir!" "We're leaving." "Sir?" "is he sleeping?" "We're leaving, wake him up." "Sir, since we start, I took the liberty. ." " Yeah, I'lI be right." "Well, but, you go like this?" "Yeah, and when will you leave?" "Let's go back to bed." "You want to stay, too?" "You can sleep on an armchair." "well..." "No, I must watch the car." "Right?" "Okay, good night." "Turn it on." " We start?" "Turn on the headlights!" "They did him in!" "Who?" " The guy of the truck." "Sonuvabitch!" "They're having a ball with her!" "What's up?" "Look!" "But I'Il shoot them!" " Are you crazy?" "You wanna get in trouble?" "And now what?" " What you wanna do?" "Nothing." "Come on, light up!" "She's screwed by all 3!" " Sure!" "Don't you read the papers?" "Think that, once, a young girl of 15 years was screwed by 1 7 guys!" "Turn off!" " Why?" "It upsets me." "Don't you know that abroad they pay to watch two that screw?" "Light up!" "Were it your daughter you wouldn't be watching, you would act." "Don't even mention my daughter, got it?" "Come on, stay calm." "You wanna quarrel over a hypothesis?" "My daughter is at home." "She doesn't walk alone at night as a hooker." "Turn off." "No, turn on." "Fire a shot into the air." " Yes, yes." "Calm!" "Our firearm license is for defending ourselves and our families." "And who knows her?" "Maybe she enjoys it." "Turn off!" "Turn off!" "You who have seen it all, you must help me." "But, what do you want?" "From the car you've seen it all, right?" "I need witnesses." "Witnesses of what?" "You gotta be fool!" "They raped a girl!" "You've seen, didn't you?" "What time can it be?" " lt's late." "Bitch!" "Didn't you give him morphine?" " Yes, I did." "But he doesn't sleep!" " Me, sleeping drugs keep me awake." "Imagine!" "Morphine!" "I feel all drugged." "all cheerful!" "What a bore!" "We lack only a cheerful dying man!" "He didn't notice anything, y'know?" "Come on..." "A little kiss." "# Traffic jam... # paralysis of life... # the run has come to a stop... # on this road in the boonies..." "# Traffic jam... # moment for thinking... # that man runs too much... # but knows not where to go... # just as my love, who knows not... # where it should land... # that touches lightly, then leaves... # without stopping by..." "# Traffic jam..." "paralysis of Iife... #" "Hey, cyclist!" "Where are you from?" " From Frosinone." "Where starts the bottleneck?" " Don't know, I come from Frosinone." "So is congested also Civita?" " I don't know." "This morning I spoke with my father in Caserta." "Traffic there, slow but moving." "Do you know the situation at Latina?" " The road's interrupted at 78th Km." "is it recent?" " l think so." "And the Cassia is congested, too?" "Hey, cyclist, you go to Rome?" "call my house and tell them I'm stuck." "462929." ""ln memory of a lovely evening with your family!"" "Teresa, the gentleman leaves you a souvenir." "well, thank you." " What are you doing, are you joking?" "You have nothing nicer that this trifle?" "If you remember, I mentioned a driver post at Cinecitta." "You remember, right?" " No. ." "I don't get it." "But how, sir?" "I thought I had been clear, no?" "I've... told you about my needs as a man who wants to make a career." "Now, you must help me." "Yes, but... I'll see what I can do, but..." "Well, a driver post, is not easy." " lt's not true, it's easy for you." "A man like you." "You're a star!" "Listen, . ." "we're smart men, and we don't get to understand each other?" "Huh?" "I'll see..." "Not that I can do much, that's it." "is not true." "I don't believe it." "I'll come see you at Cinecitta, sir." "I'lI find you, yes, I'll find you." "slept well, sir?" " Very badly!" "You didn't expect a night like this, huh?" " Carloni, humanity sucks!" "hello!" "I'm Ferreri, I'm still in the traffic jam." "No, the south jam." "Where?" "The congressman is in the jam at Palombara?" "Put him on!" "Oh, the radio link is down." "But there is no way to contact him?" "Maybe by satellite." "Do you want?" "What is it?" " The food of the future, sir!" "Homogenates of meat and fish." "Just 1,000 lire!" "Meat or fish?" "Two, one of meat and one of fish." " Meat and fish." "Done." "The teaspoons are free, sir." "Two thousand, Ferreri." "Here is." " Thanks." "Get the fish." " Thanks." "Bimbo!" "To what are we reduced!" "We returned children!" "Why do you laugh?" "It's the food of the future." "It's good." " Yes, sir." "The fish is for you, for the phosphorus." "You have a cigarette?" "I don't smoke." "Fuck you." "Food of meat and fish!" "1,000 lire each." "To you too, ma'am." "Two for the gentleman." "And you too." "Hey!" "Where did you get this stuff?" "Have you gone mad?" "You took it from my van." " Who are you?" " You're thieves, I'lI report you!" "Get the hell out!" " Hurry, they're killing each other!" "It's not your stuff!" "What do you want?" " You must not touch this stuff, okay?" "But people are hungry!" " lf they're hungry, Iet them eat!" "They want to eat?" "Okay, we feed them, but for free." "calm, calm!" "There's enough for all." "One jar apiece, don't make a mess!" "Come away!" "Rita!" "Come on, Rita!" "I've already got a lot!" "Rita!" "# Traffic jam... # moment to understand... # that man runs too much..." "Ferreri... I, once, . ." "I was before the TV, I was watching a singer." "An any singer." "I couId not hear what she sang, because the audio was off, yet, I. ." "I was mesmerized, staring, motionless." "That mute mouth, that moved so sinuousIy... it aroused me!" "It turns me on!" "The NeapoIitan girl?" "What do I do?" "I don't know." "Go there, offer her some money." "A contract, a disc recording... ln short, tell her something." "She turns me on!" "Go!" "You fool!" "What the fuck you doing?" "Hey, get off!" "C'mon guys!" "Hey!" "He's crazy, he's crazy!" "You drive, I'm tired." "Yes, willingly." ""For sale"" "Excuse me, but weren't you mad with despair?" "Yes!" "So what?" "You're so cheerful." "I'm done!" "Brigida?" " What?" "Come here, I must show you something." "Look." "O Jesus!" "And that's just an advance." "Then I'Il make an LP, and maybe I go to America." "And who gave it to you?" " The guy with the Jaguar." "Listen!" "You know what I tell you?" "I'm very glad." "Maybe it's better that way, so you keep your child in spite of everyone." "Uh, I don't know what I'lI do." "I must think about." "Maybe I'lI make Dad happy." " Yeah, maybe it's better that way." "We thank Thee, Lord, for calling this man back in your bosom, removing him from the disasters of the world." "Save us Lord." "Save us from the plastic, save us from the radioactive slag." "Save us from the politics of power, save us from the multinationals." "Save us from the Reason of State." "Save us from the parades, the uniforms and the military marches." "Save us from contempt for the weak." "Save us from the myth of efficiency and productivity." "Save us from the false moralism, save us from the lies of propaganda." "Respect nature." "Love life." "Copulate carnaIly with respect for others." "Fornicating is not a sin if done with love." "Amen." "May I, reverend?" "I've heard your words: beautiful!" "I control a publishing house, would you collaborate?" "No, thanks." "Why?" "It is from six years that he sleeps." "He was born just that way!" "Perfect in all, only that he sleeps." "He's been seen by so many doctors!" "They even wrote about us in the papers." "They can't figure it out." "For a couple of years, they kept him in the hospital." "Then, they sent him back home, and they told me: "Dear lady, we can't figure out anything. "" ""For what we can do, you can do it too. "" "I say: "The injections to keep him alive, who will make them?" They say: "You. "" "I say:" ""Better my husband since I get upset. "" "He learned, and he makes them." "Then, I went to the bishop and asked him: " What do you think, if we bring him to Lourdes?"" "He said: "Madam, sure, take him to Lourdes." "It seems a good idea. "" "The ways of God are endless." "So I took him to Lourdes." "Since nothing happened, I return to the bishop and tell him that he still sleeps." "He says: "One can see that it is not in God's will. "" ""Let him sleep, that maybe he dreams of the angels. "" "Now, I read in the paper that in Naples there is a wizard who can do everything." "But when do we get to Naples?" "Maybe he's even happy, if he sleeps." "But I too am happy, if I hear his voice." "I wish he'd wake up, to hear his voice." "Attention!" "Attention!" "The traffic jam is about to end." "Start your engines!" "Get ready to depart!" "Start your engines!" "Get ready to depart!" "English subs by edam17@Kg October 2013"