"Hello?" "Who?" "No, this is Morvern Callar." "Morvern Callar, M-O-R-V..." "I don't see anybody." "No..." "Yes, it's the station." "No, I'm not from here, I don't know who she is." "I was going to make a call." "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine." "Okay then." "Thanks a lot, bye." "Merry Christmas." " Where've you been?" "A busy day?" " Sorry." "He's not coming Why not?" "What's that?" "I found it." "Take this and swallow." "Okay boys, look who has come." " Where's your friend then?" " Home." "Hello Morvern, long time no see." " What have you been doing today?" " At home." " At home?" " In the kitchen." "Ain't he cute, then?" "I told him my legs couldn't stop shaking." "I said I don't know what to do, my legs won't stop shaking." "Is this your house?" "Pretty nice house, isn't it?" "I like to leave Scott home." "I like, I like to leave Scott home." "Ask them, they might have seen it." "Have you seen my nail?" "Excuse me, have you seen my nail?" "I said, have you seen my boyfriend?" "I've lost my boyfriend." "He didn't tell you his reason?" "How are you feeling?" "What's that island?" "It looks bad." "I need to pee." "I don't want to go home." "I know what you mean." "Merry Christmas." "Happy New Year, gran." "It's new year." "New Year, is it?" " Put the kettle on and have a cup of tea." " Alright, granny." " What's the word meaning?" " Hive." "Gran..." "Granny." "So what did you get me for Christmas, granny?" "What Christmas?" "I thought it's new year." "Have a hot bath, please." "Are you going to tell him?" " Don't tell me you are crash at me." " No." " What?" " He's not coming back." "You're not kidding me, are you?" "Gone..." "He left me." "Oh, he's probably just teasing you." "No, he's really gone." "He's not coming back." "He's gone where?" "Gone where?" "Don't know..." "To another country..." "Another country?" "You don't make sense, I don't know what you're talking about." "Is it something to do with me?" "What?" "I'll get some water." "Are you going to get dressed or what?" "Merry Christmas, babe." "Oh no, I didn't get you anything." " I'm sorry." " It's not bad deal." "Don't worry, he'll come back." "I'll meet you inside, right?" "Good to have you back." "Where've you been?" "What is it?" "I bought it with a fortnight's result." "You're kidding?" "You bought this for me?" "I thought it's Christmas." " Where did you get the money?" " The bank." "Though it's a bit stuffy, you're looking pure." "You going to put some music on?" " What do you want?" " Some heavy stuff." "Do you know that Shadows show is up?" "I don't want to know" "I hate tell you that, pimp." " Let's take a look at some of his staff." " No." "Come on, maybe there's something for me." " I don't want to." " You big bore." " Come on baby, reach out." " No." "Do some baking then?" "Your hand's shaking." " Morvern..." " What?" "What?" "What?" " You know we are pals." " Of course." "You are good pal." "What do you mean?" "I've been a lousy pal." "Did you love him then?" "Morvern, I know how terrible it must be to you but it really wasn't what you think." "I understand you don't want me to come for holidays." "I'll stay here and look after the flowers." "It's not that I don't want to come." "I'd love to come!" "You're my best friend, Morvern." "I'm really sorry." "I got your letter." "I can't meet you in London because I'm off to Spain." "It's the..." "Hotel Rosanante." "Faster please, hurry up!" "I didn't see you ladies." "We got left behind." "Name?" "Morvern Callar." "By the way, there's a message for you." " Let me see." " Give it back." "Give it back." "I said give it back!" "No need to get nasty." "You met the boy in England?" "Just the gardener." " Where?" " At the airport." " At the airport?" " How did he know you're here?" "I told him." "Lana Minister and Merver Callar?" "For god's sake." " Never mind, what is it?" " Good morning, Marvell." " Have a pleasant stay, okay?" " Okay." "Speak English?" "Very quiet, aren't they?" "Me, Taza." " Helga." " Olga." "So you're German." "I know someone from Germany." "Audi Sulcher..." "You know him?" "Slap her." " I like champagne." " Me, too." "Morvern, this is great." "You're so good to me..." "Oh, shut up." "I mean that, you are such a good friend." "You're great!" "That's enough now" "I've to give it to you, you've no problem getting a new boyfriend." "Who said I want a new boyfriend?" "Like that guy Tom you met at the airport." "What are you talking about?" "I'll never take it off man, it looks nice." "It's greasy I don't wash it, you see." "You're looking for jobs?" "What's your name?" "Lana." "Is it like Lana that llama?" "You want to go there later?" "It's got 3 big fucking rooms, 24 hours." "They close one room and I clean the other." "You just do it on purpose to show me you're a prick." "What's her name?" "Sashi, yes, Sashi." "Living on the river, without any phones..." " What's with your friend?" " Oh, she'll be alright." "Stay for a while and talk to me." " Who's there?" " It's me." "Will you just take some ease?" "Hi, you want one?" " What are you doing?" " Get dressed, we're leaving." "Leaving?" "I said get dressed, we're leaving." "Go on." "You sure you don't want a feel?" " We're getting outta here?" " We're going elsewhere." "Where?" "What the hell is that?" "Where're we going?" "To somewhere beautiful." "Lana!" "I like it here, why go back?" "Where's your case?" "Don't know" "This is amazing." "This is the middle of nowhere." "There's a sign." "A sign for hotel, I bet you." " Come on." " There's nothing up that way." "Can't walk anymore." "Got a light?" "Something just bit me." "You sure you haven't got a light?" "You don't understand, Morvern we are lost in the middle of nowhere." "I want to go back." "I don't like this place, I'd like to have a great time." "There, look!" "Somebody's watching." "Why can't we leave this place?" "Stop laughing, it's not funny." "You hate me, don't you?" "You still fucking hate me because he left you." "What are you talking about?" " You think he left you because of me." " Shut up, Lana." "If it's just that stupid fuck don't you think I'll get one?" " He's just a bad deal." " Shut up, Lana." " Just get over it." " Shut up!" "He's dead!" "I'm sick of your stupid jokes." "I mean we could have been in the club, instead of surrounded by donkeys and cattles." "What's wrong with you?" "What are you doing?" "Away from you." "That's my case." " Jackie." " Jackie?" "Hello, can I speak to Tom please?" "Oh sorry, Tom Boddington." "It's Morvern." "It's Morvern Callar." "Hello..." "Yeah, I'm still in Spain." "One of the best novels I've read for a while." "I really love to hear such a distinctive female voice." "I like the speech character." " Very fresh." " Brilliant." "So did you have a good time in Spain?" "It's great." "It's really beautiful to see some quiet places." "Tell us something about yourself, about your background." "Well, I do books myself." "I mean, it's much better than to work in the cold mornings for 39 years to get your pension." "When you're writing, you just knock off on your own." "Look out the window, smoke a cigarette make a cup of coffee, take a shower." "Is that okay?" "Yeah, sure Of course, of course." "Is there anyone on the business side who we should be talking specifically?" " Someone back in the U.K.?" " Do you have an agent?" "Me, you can talk to me." "Directly?" "Great!" "Since we are talking to you directly... what do you have in mind to deal with?" "We were thinking of something in the region of 100?" "I know it's a bit awkward talking about money." "I'll be direct, I mean we love the book, that's why we're here." "We don't just jump on a plane to Spain at this short notice... when every manuscript comes through the door." "But you're a first time writer." "...and as such we're taking a risk taking you on..." "I can assure you that as a first time writer, 100,000 pounds is really a good deal." " Can I go to the toilet?" " Of course." "So when can I get the money?" "These things take a little bit of time." "We have to go through paperwork, lawyers, that type of things." "We'll sort it out." "How long does that take?" "If you sign the contract here now..." "Then by the time we get back to London we'll get a cheque for you." "So Morvern, are you working on any new material?" "Material?" "Just give us a few words." "What are you working on next?" "I'm on holiday." "Oh, come on, woman, don't be shy." "What's your next book about?" "I work in a supermarket." "Supermarket?" "I love it." "Here, take a picture." "Say cheese." "Cheers!" "So Morvern, you really work in a supermarket?" "No, it's Lana, Lana Flimstone that's right." "No, I'll call back later." "No." "No message, thank you." "How've you been?" "Same old same old shit, buddy." "Where did you go then?" "I met this guy, he's completely mad and I had a good laugh." "Then I met this guy, his name is Stuart." "He's coming to see me in a fortnight." "Well, that's great." " Lana, I'm going again." " Where?" "To Midcombe, don't worry about the money." " What about the money?" " Doesn't matter." "What about your work?" "I quit." "I'm going to do anything I like." " Aren't you happy here?" " Well, yes." "Everyone knows you, here." "Every place is the same, Morvern, stop dreaming." "To the toilet."