"we all remember the bedtime stories of our childhoods-- the shoe fits cinderella,the frog turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened with a kiss." "Once upon a time.." "and then they lived happily ever after.." "fairy tales,the stuff of dreams." "The problem is fairy tales don't come true." "It's the other stories,the ones that begin with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable.." "it's the nightmares that always seem to become reality." "What happened?" "A bus in front of him hit a telephone pole." "He tried to swerve to miss it,but-- how bad is it?" "Meredith-- meredith,you're gonna have to be strong." "derek!" "no." "No!" "no!" "No!" "Derek!" "no!" "No!" "Derek!" "Derek!" "the person who invented the phrase "happily ever after"" "should have his ass kicked so hard." "Back up." "You're sucking all my oxygen." "I'm trying to see." "It's not up yet." "There's nothing to see." "It's supposed to be posted at 4:00." "It's 4:15." "Hit the refresh button." "yeah.You have to reload the page." "I'm hitting the refresh button every ten seconds." "Just wait." "Is it up yet?" "no." "Hi." "Hi." "is it up yet?" "no!" "Wait." "I'm thinking we move up a slot." "We pass hopkins,move up to number two." "We're not passing hopkins." "We're gonna stay number two." "Mayo could surge ahead." "We could be three." "Three?" "Pessimist." "Realist." "The rankings of teaching hospitals change based on any number of things." "Ah,three is top five." "I can live with three." "Just hit the refresh button." "Get--stay back." "I'm doing this." "Hey,is it up yet?" "No." "Well,here." "Just hitthe refresh-- ah-ah!" "I am hitting the refresh.." "okay,all of you,back up." "Stop hovering,stop speculating." "The rankings will go up when they go up." "We have no control over when they're posted." "When it is up,I will say,"it is up." "" Until then,back up,shut up and leave me alone so I can push the-- it's up." "Oh,number one,hopkins." "Number two,mayo." "Told ya." "Three,cleland clinic?" "What?" "Four,mass gen." "What?" "wait,wait." "We moved down to five?" "No." "We are not five." "12!" "12,o'malley!" "It's so upsetting." "Sir-- this is not a number 12 teaching hospital." "No,it's a great teaching hospital." "I do not run the number 12 surgical program in the country." "Sir-- out with it,o'malley!" "We've been downgraded from a level I trauma center to a level ii?" "What does that even mean you don't need to ex-explain." "It's--it's just details." "I can go." "12." "You know,I couldn't ask him about when he was gonna schedule my intern test with all the you know what hitting the fan." "I mean,for all I know,he's gonna spring it to me, what,like,in an hour,two hours?" "And you'll be ready." "Causes of hypotension." "Uh,hypovolemia,M.I.,Cardiac dysrhythmia.." "uh,hypoxia." "Yeah,is that good?" "Very good." "Yeah?" "What?" "The snow,it.." "it's--it's so pretty." "It's like a fairy tale." "Lexie.." "It's--it's the fall." "That's not so much a fairy tale as, uh,it is global warming." "That's the apocalypse." "That's like--well,it's like dropping to number 12 and me failing my intern test for the second time." "I adore you,by the way." "Just.." "oh,hey,uh,sorry i'm late." "I was just helping-- no talking unless it's medical." "So I keep having that dream,the derek-is-dead dream." "You know who does their residencies at number 12 hospitals?" "Losers,and I am not a loser." "Go get the charts." "So,I mean,the dream is about me being afraid of the house of candles and, you know,taking the big step and.." "I'm afraid of havinga happy ending." "You know,I have a phd in biochem." "I'm a double doctor." "Double doctors should not do their residencies at second-rate hospitals." "Wyatt says I should just lean into the wind,into the fear, so I'm just gonna ask derek to move in with me." "I could transfer." "Cleveland clinic has a huge cardio program." "You know,we're still in the top 20." "That's pretty good." "Pretty good is not enough." "I want to be great." "Greatness,meredith." "Greatness,which is why I'm going to ask derek to move in with me." "It's just that it's,you know,it's a big step, and I don't want to mess it up again." "I've messed it up before-- the breakups and the on and off again and the sleeping with george." "It's just-- you slept with george?" "No talking unless it's medical." "so I'm just gonna do it." "I'm just gonna ask him to move in with me." "You think it's the right thing,right?" "uh,oh,bailey's paging." "Um,uh,so medically,um,meredith and george had sexual intercourse?" "Uh,when and how--how many times?" "it's humiliating." "yeah." "12?" "You're the best neurosurgeon in the country.." "thank you." "In the world." "Don'you want to say anything nice about me?" "Uh,you're the best plastics guy at seattle grace." "Nice,really nice." "Don't force me to praise you." "Hey,rose." "hello,Dr. Sloan." "She took it so well at the beginning." "I was hoping we could be civilized." "You know,she's working my O.R." "Civilized is out." "Thank you." "It's gone." "It's a trail of fairy dust." "Now she's got delayed rage." "Delayed rage?" "Yeah,she was being big before,putting on a brave face." "Now she's had time to think." "Now she hates your guts." "You have to break up with R." "Well,that's the point." "I did already." "Well,you did it personally." "Now you have to do it professionally." "Good luck with that." "delayed rage.." "I'd like a list.." "from you of ways that I can improve." "Not right now." "Richard,you told me that I'm a bad teacher." "Now we're number 12,and i don't like to be number 12." "So I'd like a list-- not right now." "But if there are ways that I can improve, ways that I can help the program regain its ranking, then-- it's snowing." "You know what happens when it's nighttime and it's snowing and the temperature is hovering right around 32 degrees?" "No." "The snow begins to melt,and then it freezes again, creating black ice the deadliest kind of ice because it is invisible to drivers." "That would usually mean that our E.R.Would fill up" ",but mercy west is a number-I level trauma center and we're not, which means their E.R.Gets the traumas while we get their castoffs,which pisses me off." "So when I say "not right now," what I mean is not right now." "stop shivering." "You're embarrassing me." "I didn't realize we were gonna be outside." "Oh,I'm okay." "You don't have to do that." "Bundle up." "You're turning blue." "Dr. Bailey,it is kind of cold out here." "Someone will come." "No one's coming." "Maybe some old people with broken hips we can fix." "Okay,stop talng." "We are seattle grace hospital,and rankings or no rankings, we are going to stand outside at the ready,on alert, and give the best care available to every single patient that arrives at our door." "We may no longer be ranked the best, but I'm the best,and you're my residents ,which means you're the best." "It's a matter of pride,people." "What are we doing?" "We're waiting." "For?" "A miracle." "Someone will come." "Dr. Bailey,you know that mercy west is getting the traumas first." "Someone will come." "So we're standing out here in the hopes that someone is severely injured?" "Wishing and praying that someone is so hurt and so near death that the ambulance has to bring them here because we're closer than mercy west?" "Yep." "You and god are cool with that?" "Damn it." "I forgot about god." "All right." "Let's just go on back inside and wait" "Hey,watch out!" "are you okay?" "I drove a limousine on ice.." "all by myself,ten blocks." "Are you okay?" "My dress--there's blood all over my dress." "What happened?" "What happened was I got us to the hospital in one piece." "Ma'am,pase try not to move,okay?" "Just sit right here until we can get you a wheelchair." "We need a wheelchair over here." "We're not the patient." "What's his name?" "Benny?" "Billy?" "billy?" "The limo driver." "He flew through the windshield." "help him,please." "Uh,yang,come around,help mE." "Get a board,uh,bring out a gurney and a c-collar." "Okay,get--uh-- what--press it." "Press." "Grey's Anatomy Season 5 Episode 1" "what do we have?" "Billy matthews,45,arterial bleed,haven't isolated the cause." "I got this." "Okay,let's get him in trauma one." "Okay,but I'm holding pressure over the bleed." "I got this." "I just need--chie" "what's going on?" "Vincent will worry if I'm late." "You've been in a car accident." "You're at the hospital,but we're gonna take really good care of you." "Is she okay?" "Might be a concussion." "I'm gonna go order a C.T. And make sure it's nothing more than that." "All this blood--we should've waited for the ambulance." "We did wait." "We waited,they never came." "And billy was just hanging there through the windshield." "Wait,you guys extracted your limo driver from the windshield by yourselves?" "Wow,that's pretty heroic." "Isn't michael answering?" "No.Try phil again." "We shouldn't have even been going to the stupid ball in a storm like that." "What ball?" "The fire and ice ball--would you believe,in an ice storm?" "Just goes to voice mail." "Maybe--maybe their phones are off?" "You can't reach vincent?" "Your husbands were in another car?" "We won't ride with them." "We're three of the most happily married women ever except when our husbands drag out their cigars, and they drag out their cigars in the limo." "Well,your arm is not broken,just bruised." "So o'malley here is gonna suture up your cuts,and then you're all set." "You ladies are lucky you didn't sustain more serious injuries." "What kind of doctor are you?" "You're young." "Oh,I'm an intern." "Interns don't touch the face." "The plastic surgeon touches the face." "What's happening?" "Where am I?" "We were in an accident." "You're okay." "We're all gonna be fine." "Hi." "Hi." "I've been really busy." "No,no,I know." "I've been,like,crazy busy." "Researching things,a lot of research,in the library." "Oh,yeah,me,too." "Incredibly busy." "A lot of research,uh,like you,only I use the internet." "Well,I gotta check in with bailey,so-- me,too." "Bailey,anything else?" "Nothing." "Nothing else." "That's the problem." "I'm charting." "The chief took my one trauma." "I gave up my clinic,and now I'm charting." "The chief wanted you to take a look at these." "Billy matthews." "He's the limo driver." "Multiple crush injuries from an M.V.C." "Hemopericardium." "hemopericardium can lead to cardiac tamponade, which can be detected by beck's triad-- increased J.V.P.,Hypotension and muffled heart sounds." "This is a teaching hospital." "I'm trying to improve my teaching." "Well,don't try it on me." "want to know how I teach?" "No." "I'm like a guru-- they come to me for help, and I gently guide them along the path to truth and wisdom." "Hey,george." "Hi." "I heard a thing." "Yeah?" "A surprising thing,a very unexpected,nonmedical thing about you and-- -oh,hold on." "Uh,Dr. Sloan,hi." "Sarabeth briar has got a facial lac,but she will only let you touch her." "You paged me for a cut?" "What kind of moron are you,o'malley?" "Are you a special moron from the isle of complete and utter morons?" "I don't think so." "Shut up." "Truth and wisdom." "he's an ass." "You know what?" "This is what we get for being number 12-- a bunch of women in ball gowns and half-dead limo driver." "Those women are amazing." "They tried to save his life." "That's who I want to be,you know?" "An aging princess?" "They've been with the same men for years,and they're happy." "They did it." "I can do it." "mer,I-- hey." "who paged me?" "bailey and izzie paged you,but you should see bailey first because she's got the limo driver." "Okay." "Do you want to move in with me?" "You want to live together?" "Well,I an,I could" " I just,uh.If--if you don't want to,I-- -yes." "yes?" "Absolutely." "You sure you're ready?" "I am leaning into the fear to get a happy ending." "I don't even know what that means." "damn it!" "Time of death--20:47." "limo driver,traumatic arrest." "Never regained a pulse." "Tell them not to book the O.R." "I have a dream,yang." "Excuse me?" "That one day,a trauma will come through those doors" "I have a dream." "I share that dream." "Number 12." "Number 12." "Right now dispatch is squawking about three men-- three serious injuries-- every one,they're taking 'em to mercy west." "Three men?" "That's what I said." "You mean like three men who could be married to those ladies in the ball gowns?" "little stick." "Squeeze my hand." "Squeeze my hand." "Just like when you had pete,you remember?" "Pete hurt less." "Yeah,but you're going to love me later when there's virtually no scar." "Ladies,um,I've been on the phone with,uh,ambulance dispatch." "Three gentlemen in a limousine collided with another vehicle on broad street." "It's possible it was your husbands." "Oh,no." "They're taking them to mercy west.." "which is across town." "Unless,uh,you prefer that they be brought here." "We can do that?" "Oh,you can insist." "And,uh.. if I were you,I would insist." "Oh,w-well,then I guess-- I guess we insist." "Yes,we insist." "You insist." "am I to understand that you stole these traumas from mercy west?" "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Good job,'cause now it's personal." "Yang,come with me." "We have a situation." "ok 58-year-old male,M.V.C.,Tachy and 160,B.P.80 palp, decreased bilateral and breath sounds." "What did you do?" "I didn't do it." "He did." "G.I. Joe trached him at the field before I got there." "With a pen?" "You trached this guy with an ink pen?" "So?" "Move this guy inside now." "Come on." "Let's go." "Move,move,move,move." "Pen.. trach.." "hot." "okay,what do we got?" "Vincent kenner,58,unrestrained backseat passenger of a limo that took a nosedive." "Muffled heart sounds and large scalp lac." "That's vincent." "betty." "I'm sorry,Dr. Hahn,but she wanted to see her husband." "Vincent.That's my husband." "What happened?" "Is he all right?" "I promise to give you an update as soon as we know something." "no." "But right now,I have to get you to the C.T." "Oh,god." "Vincent." "I'll bringou back." "I'll bring you back." "Free fluid in the abdomen." "Compressed skullracture." "He's also got decreased breath sounds bilaterally." "This guy's getting an express ticket to the O.R." "Let the chief know." "Can I scrub in?" "Fine." "he has a pen in his throat!" "Oh,michael!" "Oh,god,michael!" "Oh,god,are you-- is that a--is that a pen in his throat?" "Does he have a ballpoint pen in his throat?" "Ma'am,you need to wait outside." "Let the doctors work." "But they have to be very careful with him." "Michael's been under an incredible amount of stress lately and-- and the last thing he needs-- grey,can you handle this woman,please?" "Mrs. Loomis,we're gonna take you to your husband." "He's around the corner." "Sweetheart,I'm here." "Michael,I'm here,sweetheart." "This is not her husband?" "Nope." "Oh,my god,michael!" "It's her husband." "What happened to him?" "Please come with me,ma'am." "Please,this way." "What happened to him?" "Michael!" "You trached a man in the field using a ballpoint pen?" "that's all I had on me." "What?" "It's not like I didn't clean it off with fresh snow." "That's awesome." "Really?" "You're going with a size 6 shiley tube on this?" "Somebody get this guy away from me." "Uh,I'm gonna need a C.T." "Of,uh,this belly,chief." "Karev,get us in line." "looks like his trachea's crushed." "I'm gonna need an O.R. And an extra set of hands." "Who's available?" "Grey." "The good grey?" "The intern grey." "And I'll throw in o'malley." "Oh,nice." "Perfect." "Phil?" "Oh,my god." "Oh,my god." "What happened?" "the limo hit a patch of ice." "Next thing I know,we're all upside down,rolling around,and now.." "anna.." "I can't feel my legs." "Oh,phil." "I'm so sorry." "Okay,get her out of here." "I gotta get a consult from shepherd." "Oh,sir,Dr. Hahn is working on multiple crash injuries." "She wants you to take a look." "Mm-hmm,I'm on my way." "You're bleeding." "Oh,my car was right behind theirs at the intersection." "I cut it on impact." "And you triaged these men?" "Major owen hunt,U.S. Army,second forward surgical." "I'm a trauma surgeon." "I just got home on leave." "Dr. Yang,take care of major hunt's leg." "Uh,sir,I'm" " I'm scrubbing in with you." "After you take care of major hunt." "Hey,where are you going?" "To check on my other patients." "No,no." "You are the patient." "hello?" "Vincent?" "Are you there?" "Where am I?" "You've been in a car accident,betty." "You're having a C.T." "It's gonna be okay." "Everything is okay." "Don't move." "Some nut job down there trached a guy with a pen." "Pretty freakin' cool." "You want cool?" "Check this out." "Every 30 seconds." "Is someone there?" "Where am I?" "You've been in a car accident,betty." "You're having a C.T. It's okay." "Every 30 seconds,her memory resets-- every 30 seconds." "Might not be so bad." "Like hitting the refresh button,everything is new again." "How you doing?" "You keep asking me that,and I keep telling you,I'm fine." "I know,it's just.." "sometimes I still think denny's gonna be right around the corner, and he's been dead a long time now." "It just takes a while to get used to." "Rebecca didn't die." "It's not like that for me." "I'm good." "but thank you for asking." "Hello?" "Is someone there?" "Where am I?" "You're in a spaceship." "You're going to the moon." "Enjoy the ride." "alex." "a space ship?" "Excuse me?" "You're having a C.T.,Betty." "You're gonna be okay." "You've been in a car accident." "Just don't move." "Thanks a lot." "Bailey paged me." "I'll see you later." "He has a depressed skull fracture." "I could elevate the skull fragments, but there's just no telling how much damage has been done." "We're saving this man." "All right,I think we're looking at an aortic tear, not to mention vast amounts of blood in his abdomen." "We are saving this man." "I can handle the abdominal bleeding." "He is circling the drain." "Yeah,I have other traumas to get to." "We are saving this man!" "Now does everyone understand,or do I have to repeat myself?" "Yes,sir." "Understood." "Okay,book O.R. Two." "it's pathetic,isn't it-- a married woman cheats on her best friend with her husband?" "You can't go much lower than that." "These things happen." "I ran into michael in the mall,and we had lunch." "And a week later,we had another lunch." "And here we are.." "eight months later,and sarabeth has no idea." "When you s--when you spend your life with someone and-- and you have kids together, you think it'll always be this amazing and this wonderful." "You think--you think that you'll always feel that kind of love, and--and--and I do,I.." "I do love phil." "I just.." "just what?" "Well,little pieces of you get chipped away.." "by another person,and.." "then you shave little pieces of yourself away so that you'll fit together and.." "then one day,you look up.." "and you don't even know who you are." "I better get back to my husband." "He'll be wondering where I am." "Okay." "that graft is actually holding." "I am impressing even myself." "Shep?" "Mm-hmm,almost there." "All right,everybody take a look at the monitor,please." "Now to elevate the last of the skull fragments," "I'll need a large,flat instrument to get under the bone." "A curved number 2 penfield,please." "You know what?" "Actually,I want my number 4 penfield." "Oh,that's interesting." "Why did you want to use the number 4 penfield instead?" "I'm sorry." "Oh,well,how would you explain it?" "I'm observing your teaching style." "Hope you don't mind." "So the penfield-- you changed it because?" "I changed my mind." "is that a problem,rose?" "Not at all,Dr. Shepherd." "You changed your mind." "Got it." "Dr. Shepherd,uh,I've got a guy with a high level spinal injury." "I've,uh,started him on steroids,but I believe he needs to be decompressed." "Are you almost done here?" "Yeah,I'm done right now." "Can you close up for me?" "So we consider him a good teacher,right?" "I'm just checking." "The spine's crushed from c6 to t1,impinging on the cord." "Yeah,we need to go in and try and relieve the pressure on the spinal cord." "But with this kind of injury-- people don't want again." "Phil,you don't know that." "Anna,sweetheart.." "it's okay." "You have to be able to do something." "Phil's very strong,and he--he has grandkids." "You--you have to do something." "You could freeze him.. -you shouldn't be in here.I'm so-- if you want him to have a shot at walking again." "Who the hell are you?" "Army surgeon badass,did something crazy with a pen on a guy's throat." "Well,I would appreciate it if you didn't give my patient and his wife false hope." "Until you've exhausted all the options,it's not false,it's just hope." "Maybe you should keep current on your research." "they did,uh,make a football player walk at buffalo gen,using therapeutic hypothermia." "Buffalo gen's patient was 20 years old,in prime cardiac fitness." "My patient is in his 60s and is a very risky candidate." "I would prefer he live to see his grandchildren." "Dr. Torres,book an O.R." "And please tell this patient that this procedure is not an option,despite uncle sam's assessment." "We're closing up your leg now." "Michael calive after they put a pen in his throat?" "Oh,yes,ma'am." "The emergency trach helped him breathe." "Dr. Sloan needs to get him to the O.R.To sta  surgery?" "He needs surgery?" "Uh,when your husband was pinned underneath the car, he suffered a laceration to his windpipe,which Dr. Sloan needs to fix to stabilize his airway." "He also has some bruising around his kidney and a lac on his liver." "Will he need surgery for th?" "There's a chance the abdominal injuries will heal on their own, but if it ts worse,yes,will need surgery." "Two surgeries?" "I can't believe this is happening." "Hold on." "This--this is today?" "Tonight,midnight." "Um,ma'am,there's also one other matter." "More?" "There's more?" "Um,just according to billing,your insurance expires at midnight." "So we're gonna treat you,of course,but just to make it easier on you later, is there another card or another insurance policy?" "My husband,he--he takes care of these things." "Uh,okay." "Okay." "I'm gonna numb--wow." "Uh,you're not numbed." "So?" "s--ow!" "S--uh,ow." "Can't get an angle on these." "Could you?" "okay." "thank you." "Don't mention it." "Can I ask you something?" "Uh,w-what?" "Um,him,actually." "Oh,um,yeah,sure." "I've got surgery." "And,uh,poke yourself." "Talk to me about the freezing thing." "Betty kenner,closed head injury from the limo wreck." "subdural hematoma." "Which is why she has memory loss." "Yeah." "Might ease up once we relieve the pressure." "Book an O.R." "I'll go in on her once i finish up on anna's husband." "Busy O.R. Today." "But that's kinda your thing,right?" "Juggling more than one person at a time." "How's betty's husband doing?" "Oh,I'm scrubbing in on him now." "Shepherd did what he could,but the chief and hahn are still working on him." "He is an ugly,ugly mess." "Sarabeth's husband may need another surgery after derek's done with him." "These poor women." "Well,anna-- the one with the cuts-- is married to the guy on derek's table and she is sleeping with sarabeth's husband,the one sloan's working on." "You're kidding." "No.Don't tell betty." "She wouldn't remember even if I did." "You mean,that's what happens?" "You're married 40 years and then you become a big,fat lying cheater?" "I mean,if 40 years doesn't make you committed,what does?" "What's the point?" "if I move in with derek-- okay,you know what?" "I'll give you 100 bucks if you talk about something else." "It's not about the years,it's about the man,and derek is a good man." "Oh,well,I'm outta here." "There are a lot of really good men,you know?" "George is a really good guy." "I mean,he.." "nope." "Sloan is not." "Alex." "Yeah." "Alex has turned into a very good man." "You and alex.." "no." "I'm making a point." "But it is nice,you know,that we're friends,and he's changed." "He's actually opening up to me." "So do you think if you moved in and got married,in 40 years, you'd feel dead inside enough to cheat on him?" "Yang,major hunt all taken care of?" "Uh,I did my best,sir." "Okay,come put some pressure on this bleeder for me." "You know what I think?" "I think that number 12 ranking was a mistake." "I think it was a clerical error,and I'm gonna start making calls about it as soon as I get out of this surgery." "So I've been observing teaching styles." "Shepherd likes to teach by thinking out loud." "Bailey is blunt and direct and doesn't over teach,and sloan.." "well,sloan just likes to berate and humiliate." "I think if you really want to learn about teaching, you should talk to your students,fi out how they learn best." "Yang?" "Oh,that's not necessary,sir." "Are you serious about this or not,Dr. Hahn?" "Fine." "Go." "uh,for me,personally,I learn better when I'm asked questions." "The socratic method." "Well,that's the cornerstone of medical teaching." "It's what we do in rounds." "Well,not everyone does it." "Some people.." "Simply tell you what to do." "Who?" "Are you talking about me?" "he's crashing." "Get me an aortic clamp." "I can't get a handle on this bleeding in his liver." "We may just have to start doing damage control soon." "I see a tear in the renal artery." "Yang,are you familiar,with the single-layer continuous closure?" "Yes,sir." "Of course." "All right,B.P.'S still dropping." "Okay,max out on levophed and keep pushing the blood." "Get in there and stitch,yang." "there's a problem with the insurance." "As we explained,he can't talk right now." "I know,but,michael,I-I called them and the credit card company, and--and they said that... the cards have been canceled." "I..." "I don't understand." "I..." "I just need to know what to do." "I don't know what to do." "I'm sorry.I'm--I'm really sorry,but we need to get him to DR. Sloan now." "is there something I can do?" "Someone I can call?" "I..." "I don'T." "I don't handle the money,but I... if you can just tell me... who to call..." "I'll talk to billing and see what I can do." "Thank you." "it's stuck." "I can't seem to get down the left bronchus." "Y-you almost got it,george." "What are you,his little cheerleader?" "Step aside,wonder boy,before you make things worse." "O'malley,go find out if the O.R.Is ready... if you can manage that." "you're a little mean to george,un-unnecessarily mean." "And he's studying to retake his intern test,so he's a little stressed out, so I was just thinking maybe you could be nicer." "You're an intern." "Why are you talking to me?" "Y--well,you're my half sister's boyfriend's best friend,so I... you thought that makes us friends?" "You thought that you'd defend your boyfriend to me,and I'd just take it?" "He's not my boyfriend." "But you want him to be." " I do not." " Do too." " Do too." " Do too." " Does he know?" " Shut up." "I'm your attending.You can't tell me to shut up." "You want me to be nicer to o'malley?" "Please." "Confess your love to him,and I'll think about it." "Shut up." "You know anything about health insurance?" "No.Why?" "Well,I'm trying to help out a patient." "Oh,the softer side of alex." "Izzie was right." "What's that supposed to mean?" " Nothing." " What did izzie say to you?" "She said you were a good man." "She said you changed." "It was nothing." "Did she say that I cried?" "'Cause that is a lie." " No,she didn't say that." " She should just keep her mouth shut." "Alex,I made a stupid joke." "She didn't mean anything." "Yang,how you doing?" "It's,um..." "I can't get it." "It's--it's not holding." " It's tearing.I-- damn it,yang.Move." "I thought you said you'd done this stitch." "I have,a hundred times." " On hearts." " hearts." "Your forceps were macerating the tissue." "You were handling the bowel incorrectly,which you would ow if you weren't allowed to clock so many hours in cardiothoracics ." "at the expense of your general surgery knowledge" "crap.His vocal cords are damaged beyond repair." "Is there anything we can do?" "He probably won't talk again." "I think that question was for me." "Sorry." "You think just 'cause you get to take your intern test again,that makes you big man on campus?" "Doesn't chan the fact you failed it the first time." " DR. Sloan." " I'm sorry,grey." "Was there something you wanted to say to anyone here?" "No,there wasn'T." " Coward.- Shut up." " Lexie!" "pressure's dropping." "it looks like v-fiB." "20 joules." "Clear." "give me another unit of packed cells,as many as it takes." "*****" "Somebody get me some F.F.P." "Suction,pleasE.Suction!" "Too much blood." "There's too much blood." "We're losing him." "what's going on?" "Am I in a hospital?" "There was an accident,but you're going to be fine." "We're all going to be fine." "I was able to repair your husband's vertebrae and relieve the pressure from his spine." "But,uh... it... he--he's still paralyzed?" "Yes,I'm sorry." "Oh,god." "Oh,phil." "and--and--and michael." "What--what about michael?" "I repaired his trachea." "But unfortunately,his vocal cords were completely severed in the accident." "He can't talk?" "He'll never be able to talk again?" "We have to be strong." "We have to be strong for phil and--and for michael." "I'll be ready for betty in O.R.One when you're done here." "is it vincent?" "Tell mewhat's happened,please." "Vincent came through the surgery." "He's stable but still critical." "Oh,my god." "This is DR. Yang." "She is going to be personally responsible for seeing to it that your husband makes it through the night." "I'M..." "I will keep you posted." "Keep me posted... about what?" "Where am I?" "Where's vincent?" "she has a subdural hematoma." "Her memory resets every 30 seconds." "Perfect." "That's for you.Thank you." "rose." "Please look at me." "If you're gonna behave like this,you can't be in my O.R." "okay,there's no good way to say this." "I'veeen acting this way because I'M..." "I'm carrying your child,derek." "Gotcha." "this is your idea of a joke?" "Oh,please." "You deserve it." "Who do you think you are?" "if you're gonna keep behaving this way,you can't be in my O.R." "you should transfer to a different specialty." "you should transr to a different specialty." "I'm a neurosurgeon." "you shoulda thought of that while repeatedly assuring me that you were over your ex." "I'll see you in the O.R." "I'm not going anywhere." "Chief,about phillip loomis,shepherd's spinal patient?" "Um,I was thinking... what about therapeutic hypothermia?" "You want to freeze a spinal injury?" "They did it in buffalo,and mass gen had success with it,too,and major hunt-- he swears by it." "What does shepherd think?" "He thinks it's too risky in mr.Loomis' case,that he's not as fit,is older." "Loomis isn't much older than me." "I can do the procedure,chief." "I just need your okay." "What were you doing back there?" "I was trying to help you." "Telling an attending to shut up in his O.r" " That's not helping." "What makes you think you can get away... you're sleeping with him?" " What?" "No." " Yes,you are." " You-- why would you even say that?" "Wait,are you jealous?" "Of the fact that you can tell sloan to shut up?" "Yeah." "But,you know,he's right." "I'm the hospital joke,and it's my fault." "I'm the one who failed my intern exam and got married in vegas and cheated on my wife." "No.you don't understand." " The only reason that he was picking on you is-- no,it doesn't matter." "I can take care of myself." "so-- and he's got fishing gear and boots and hair products." "I don't have room for any of that stuff." "And he talks,and not a little." "I mean,he chats He's chatty freakin' cathy.." "Not right now." "And then you know what's gonna happen after he moves in,don't you?" "We build a house on his land,which will be our land because we'll be married, and then I'll be DR. Mrs.Shepherd." "and you know what comes after that,don't you?" "Babies,and they'll be hisabies,so they'll have perfect hair and they'll be chatty." "So I'll have five chatty children,a chatty husband and live in a house in the wilderness." "And then I'll start sleeping with your husband." "I gotta tell him I changed my mind." " Don't you think?" " Meredith!" "What?" " Why are you making that face?" " Shut up." "You know,just shut up about derek." "Shut up about moving in with derek." "Shut up about your relationship because you want to know why?" "I've heard it all before." "Yeah,you know,you guys get together,and I have to listen to it, and then you guys break up,and I have to listen to it." "I almost killed a man in surgery today." "I... okay,you want--you want to know what I think?" "Okay,you--you really want to know?" "You and derek will not work." "Moving in together is a mistake of massive proportions." "You are dreaming of dead derek,which should tell you it will not work!" " Cristina,I-- no no you know this whole thing,this happily ever after does not exist." "So please,please,please,as you weigh your options here,just,you know, consider the possibility of shutting the hell up,because I can't listen to it anymore." " I-- no." " Okay-- no!" " I-- okay,that's it.I'm done." "I'm not gonna say you deserved that,but you deserved that." "Oh,thanks." "Oh,help me... help me up." "Don't move." "I'm gonna go get some help." "what are you doing?" "Eating cereal." "I got us a chicken for dinner." "Chicken." "Seriously?" "You're not gonna be hungry now." "Oh,you're doing it all wrong again,as usual." "I'm not.I'm cutting from the mediastinum out." "You can't even see the mediastinum without your glasses." "Damn it.Where are my glasses?" "Okay." "No,put it down." "Down." "Right here." "Mm. right here." "Move." "What would I do without you?" "Starve." "a damsel in distress." "put her on a monitor.Order a portable chest." "I'm gonna cut your top off." "It's between my ninth and tenth intercostal spaces." "There's no hemo or pneumothorax." "My vitals are stable.Just pull it out." " I wouldn'T." " Mind your own business." "Who is this guy?" "Get this thing out of me." "I already screwed up in front of the chief today once." "I can'T..." "I mess up a suture,and now he's looking at me like I'm number 12." "Mer,please.No one gets to see me like this,okay?" "Yang... what the hell happened?" " Get her on a monitor and order a portable chest." " I did." " Did you check her respiratory function" " I did." "See?" " Breath sounds clear and equal." " You be quiet." "Grey,what would you advise as a course of treatment?" "I think we should leave it in until we get the chest x-ray and the C.T.Back." "I'm fine." "But what about infection?" "This thing is definitely melting dirty roof water into her body." "Which is why we should pull it out." "Leave it right where it is." "You get stabbed in the chest and you're lucky enough totill be breathing, you leave the knife in,at least until you figure out what's going on inside." "Leave it in." " Take it out." " Leave it in." "In the meantime,since you know so much,you can teach your interns how to treat you." "This is a good opportunityto get back to the basics." "But I need to check on vincent kenner." "Grey,vincent kenner is your responsibility now." "But bear in mind,he is my patient,and I'm not about to lose another trauma case today." "Keep that man alive." "Can I get a word with you,DR. Hunt?" "you think you'll be able to resto her memory?" "Well,I was able to suction the blood and remove the pressure." "I'm hopeful.Not certain,but hopeful." "15-blade,please." "something wrong,DR. Shepherd?" "Oh,my god." "DR. Hahn asked me about teaching before." "Here's a tip--when you hand a surgeon a 15-blade,make sure it's handle first." "Suction the bleeders while I clean this up and get a new glove." "He's really gonna be okay?" "Except for his voice." "His abdomen's definitely more tender." "He needs another c.t" "Michael,the insurance,it's--it's a mistake,right?" "It's gotta be a mistake." "Look,write down a name and number,and I'll fix it,and everytng will be fine,right?" "Everything's gonna be fine?" "Uh,maybe later would be better." "S-sarabeth." "Come on,honey." "What's going on?" "we're going ahead with the freezing." "Without my consent?" "No,I don't think so." "You really want to be the doctor who doesn't give his all to keep a man from being wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life?" "Get out of my patient's room!" "I don't take orders from civilians." " Listen,you arrogant,little-- shepherd." "Okay,right now this patient is stable." "He may never walk again,but if you try this,he could throw a clot,go into organ failure,and he could die." "We're going ahead with the freezing." "Ever since this morning,you've been pissing on anything with a pulse trying to prove you're not number 12, and you're not." "But right now,with this decision,you act like number 12." "Good luck with the patient,DR. Torres." "you know,the chief is under the spell of some insane man in camouflage." "He saved my patient's life." "He'll never talk again,but still,life saved." "What happened to your hand?" "Ah,scalpel." "Rose." "Not intentional." "She's a dead mouse on the kitchen floor." "At some point,you gotta pick it up and throw it away." "Want me to take a look at that?" "Mer's gonna take care of it." "I'm a renowned plastic surgeon.Grey's a resident." "She gives me sex,especially when I'm wounded." "is this positioned right?" "If I'm getting a mammogram." "Lower,to the right." "Two,what are you doing?" "Uh,draping so your parts are safe." "Get away from my parts." "Oh,gentle,gentle,gentle." "how are you doing?" "Please take my films,'cause my interns are idiots." "How's mr.Kenner?" " Well,he's stable,but-- you cannot let him die." "I'm doing my best.Hold still." "I am.Just shoot it." "hold still because I want to ask you a question." "What?" "Did you mean what you said about me and derek?" "Oh,well,this is not fair." " I'm impaled a" " I know I talk about it too much, and I know I've gone soft and gooey and disgusting." "And if I had to listen to it,I'd puke,too." "But you said what you said because you were mad,right,not because you meant it?" "Can you just-- just take my x-ray?" "And--and it doesn't matter what I say." "Of course it matters what you say!" "Of course it matters." "you stop--oh!" "Stop taking my picture and take my picture!" "Anna." "Are you feeling okay?" "Her world is about to fall apart,and she has no idea." "it's all my fault." "What should I do?" "I know I'm a terrible person,but what should I do?" "She should hear it from you." "You're her best friend,even if it's the most terrible thing in the world, you should tell her." "Callie's gonna freeze her patient.You want to go check it out?" "Hello?" "Alex?" "Why are you ignoring me?" "I'm hoping if I wait long enough,you'll be as annoyed by the sound of your voice as I am and just shut up." "okay." "Did I do something?" " You know what you did." " No,I don'T." "Alex,just tell me.What did I do?" "I thought that-- just shut up.I had a bad night and I cried like a girl." "I'm over it.You need to get over it,too." "that chill you'll feel is the cold saline rushing through your veins to lower your core body temperature." "And if it works,I walk?" "If it works,the hope is that you walk." "Okay,uh..." "I'm--I'm getting cold." "He's temp's still 96.8 chief.Shall we lay another cooling blanket on him?" "That's up to you,DR. Torres." "You're taking point." "That's what the chief of a number one teaching hospital does." "He handpicks talented surgeons and lets them take point." "Right,DR. Bailey?" "Couldn't agree more,chief." "Warm and toasty,that's what I'm feeling." "his pulse is falling." " Are you sure-- yeah,down to 52." "Yeah,it's normal for his pulse to fall." "Okay,h-how much longer we got?" "Not too much longer,okay?" "You're doing great." "Keep thinking warm and toasty." "Okay.I'm trying." "good." "Number 12,my ass." "you want to hear how I cut my hand?" "It's a good story." "I am not sure moving in together is a good idea." "Okay." "Fine." "Fine?" "What does that mean?" "It means that I know you." "So what,you didn't believe that I would let you move in in the first place?" "I believe that you believe it." "Look,I'm gonna move very slowly-- baby steps,no sudden moves." "You're like a deerin the woods." "Okay,I built the house of candles." "That is unprecedented in the meredith chronicles." "Fine.Let's move in together." "Fine." "Unless,of course,you just want to go ahead and get married." "You want to know where I learned that?" "Goes with the story of how I cut my hand." "What did you say to alex?" "I-I didn't say anything." "I just s-said that I think it's nice that you two are friendly again." "Oh,damn it,meredith.Why can't you just mind your own business?" "You know what?" "Forget it.I should never have told you anything." "You can't keep anything to yourself unless it's for cristina." "Izzie!" "Marriage?" "not funny." "DR. Bailey." "yeah." "Michael briar's abdomen is more tender." "Now I-I know I'm supposed to get a C.T." ",But if we start the surgery after midnight,he's not covered." "We're basically bankrupting him." "I say we skip the C.T." "Oh,you s--you say?" "No,you don't say.You ask." "And the answer is,we don't skimp on medicine to save money." "Gethe C.T." "phillip,you're doing great.I'm giving you more sedative and a paralytic to stop your shivering,okay?" "Okay,okay." "okay,we'll need to intubate,bailey." "All right,coming down." "One,two and three and down." "He's down to 90 degrees." "I think that's,um,too low." "I-is that too low?" "You did all the research." "I think it's too low." "oh,my god." "okay,so what now?" "Is this gonna resolve?" "Do they recommend lido or amiodarone?" "DR. Torres?" "uh,DR.Torres?" "he's barely got a pulse." "Uh,uh,should we do C.P.R.?" "No,he-- let's t-try to avoid jostling shepherd's spinal decompression unless absolutely necessary." "oh,crap.Crap." "His heart is likely to stop,soon." "What are you gonna do,DR. Torres?" "I don't know." "I-I don't know." "How is he?" "We've given him medication to keep his blood pressure up, but betty's husband's not as stable as we'd like him to be." "They're freezing phillip... freezing him... to try to help him walk again." "I don'T... they explained it to me very well." "And betty's having surgery on her brain,and poor vincent here is barely hanging on..." " and michael..." " it's all right." "We'll survive." "We always do." "I wish he would just look at me." "Sarabeth... michael lost his job eight mohs ago." "What?" "The firm let him go." "He just... he couldn't bring himself to tell you." "He--he just felt like such a failure." "Why--I don't-- wh-why do you-- how do you know this?" "He told you." "He told you." "Sarabeth... anna... have you been sleeping with my husband?" " I'm s-- he's in v-fib.Code blue!" "Get them out of here,please." "What-- push one of epi,one of atropine." "you started him on ecmo?" "You're taking out all his blood and replacing it?" "It was the only thing to do,DR. Hahn." "We don't want to jostle his spine,and this will give his heart some rest." "Now we need you to monitor him until we get him back on." "Now are you in or not?" "I sent michael down for the C.T." "I was hoping we could,uh,start the surgery,get him in under the wire, but it's almost midnight,so... it doesn't matter.I don't care.I don'T." "Do you--do you know anything about betty's husband?" "he..." "I-I think he was dying." "Do you-- have you heard anything?" "No.I-I can find out." "Why do men cheat?" "My husband slept with my friend." "He lost his job,and then he slept with my friend,all the while telling me he loves me." "Why?" "maybe he was low." "He was down,and he didn't want you to see him like that,in pain,weak... as less than a man." "He has his pride,so,uh,he turned away." "It's not right,but it... it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you." "I swear it doesn'T." "All right,we all ready to wean?" "let's do it." "it looks like he's tachycardic." "Should we shock him,give him adenosine?" "well,normally I'd say yes,but this man's an ice cube." "DR. Torres,in any of your research,was there anything to suggest what to do in a situation like this?" "I don't--I don't-- I mean,um..." "I think I messed up here." "I mean,I don't know.I mean,maybe--maybe--maybe he would've been fine on his own." " Maybe--maybe-- all right,look at me.Look at me." "Focus." "You're trying something new." "There's nothing wrong with new." "Breaking new ground,pushing the boundaries,it comes with the job." "So,DR. Torres,take a breath,stop panicking and just tell us." "What did your research say?" "My research showed that... that,um... arrhythmias can occur at a certain threshold." "His appear to be between.." "uh,91.5 and 92 degrees." "He around 90 right now." "Okay,so... we could use the ecmo to help bring him back up." "Yes,but not too quickly,because that can cause problems of its own." "All right.Looks like we have some warming to do." "What do you see?" "Um,it kinda looks like it's hitting nothing?" "It looks like it's hitting nothing?" "Because it's hitting nothing!" "So,like,what does that-- at does that mean?" "What do you mean,what does that mean?" "Don't you know how to read an x-ray?" "You--you always read them." "Well,get out." "All of you just... get out and find me someone with a brain." "Those your interns?" "They seem pretty scared of you." "I am not scary." "Uh,what are you doing?" "that's my icicle." "Yeah." "Uh,you took out my icicle." "I didn't give you permission to do that." "So?" "Cristina." "He died." "my patient still alive?" "He's stable." "You let some soldier off the street talk you into something that could have killed a man." "He deserved the chance." " We have no way of knowing if it helped or hurt." " He deserved the chance,derek." "He deserved the best,the most that this hospital could give him." "I've let a lot of things slide over the past few years." "I've been... soft." "This was not about you being soft." "Yeah,I think it's the fact that meredith's here,the fact that ellis' daughter is here." "Chief." "Vincent kenner-- we gave him 31 units of blood,fresh frozen plasma" ",multiple liters of L.R." "We did everything we knew how to do." "We just couldn't bring him back." "You don't know how to do anything... none of you." "You're halfway through your second year of residency,and you walk around this hospital like it's your god-given right to be here." "Well,it is not,DR. Grey." "I assure you." "You are here because i allow it." "You are here to do what I say,and the one thing I ask you to do  you can't even save-- richard." "We can't save everybody." "We should try harder." "We should try harder." "Michael,sarabeth is here." "he's a little tired." "Uh,the C.T. Showed that his hematoma's getting worse." "So DR. Bailey and I will be taking him down to the O.R. Soon." "But he wrote you,um,this letter." "I'm not interested." ""Sarabeth." Sorry." "Um,that wasn't me,that was the letter." "It..." ""I-I know you hate me." ""Um,again,it's not me,it's the letter.I'll--I'm just gonna read." "Um,I know you hate me right now."" ""And you have every right to." ""I betrayed you." "I betrayed our marriage." ""But I had lost my job and I couldn't tell you,"so I told anna instead,"" "which was wrong and stupid." ""And I've wanted to tell you a million times "and let you know how truly sorry I am,"" "but now I have no voice." ""So I am begging you,please,if you could justisten with your heart." ""Oh,that is so poetic." "That--that was me,so-- not him.Sorry." "Um,if--if you could just listen with your heart ""when I tell you that"" "I know you can't forgive me right now "but I'm gonna do everything in my power to make it up to you." ""And no matter what happens,"no matter what you decide to do i'm gonna love you until the end of time." ""That's it.-I'm done talk-well,he's done." "It's the end." "betty?" "She's not awake yet, but I can take you to see her if you'd like." " and her memory?" " We don't know yet." "Oh, no." "Oh, please don't say it." "I'm sorry." "Vincent." "Oh, god. oh, god, no, no." "I'm very sorry." " sarabeth." " no, don't, don'T." "Just don'T." "Sarabeth... vincent's dead, and betty... we don't know if she's gonna be okay, and-and phillip and michael- don't you mention his name to me." "Sarabeth... more bad things have happened to us today than have ever happened before." "We have been blessed until today." "I took it for granted." "I took you for granted." "We've been friends for 50 years, ever since we were little girls." "And I made...one awful, awful mistake... but I need my best friend." "You slept with my husband." "Please." "I'm going to go see betty." "I'm gonna see my friend." " I'm sorry about teasing alex." " I forgive you." " Tell me about trauma surgery." " Trauma?" "Quick and dirty." "There's no time to make things pretty and no time for mistakes." "Drop your pants." "You need a shot of cefazolin I.M." "No time for mistakes, huh?" "So what, you don't make mistakes?" "I make mistakes and people die." "I'm the best surgical resident in my program and... today I killed a man because I couldn't do a stitch." "In the field, you do what you can, you work with what you have." "It's about something." "It's not about being the best." "It's about saving lives." "I make mistakes." "Guys die by my hand, good guys, guys who are fighting for their country in a desert." "And I don't know everything." "Nobody does." "So I make mistakes, and I learn." "And the next time, I don't make that mistake again." "So theext time, the next guy, that guy, he lives." "Mistakes are how you learn." "Hi, betty." "How you feeling?" "My head... hurts." "What's going on?" "Betty, you and vincent were in a car accident." "Vincent..." "I'm sorry." "I'm-I'm so sorry." "He-he didn't make it, betty." "No, no, please." "No.No. He's in the other car." "He's just gonna be here any minute." "He'S... oh... my head... it hurts." "What happened?" "Well, you look pretty stable, which is good, because I can't let you go into your next surgery unless you're feeling strong and stable, okay?" "It happens." "People make mistakes." "You know, they sleep with the wrong person and they hide it." "But if you ask me, it's the part that comes after that matters, the part where you make it right." "And I think you're off to a good start." "Karev, is michael briar ready for his ex lap?" "He was ready an hour ago." "And I'm ready now." "Book the O.R." "Fine." " DR. Karev, what time is it?" " It's tomorrow." "His insurance expired." "I'm sorry about the hand." "These things happen." "Not to me they don't, or they didn't before you existed for me." "Before you existed..." "I was good." "Every doctor in this hospital wanted me in their O.R. I was known as a damn good scrub nurse." "And now I'm the crazy girl out of fatal attraction " who goes around stabbing surgeons."" "Sorry." "I'm so..." "I'm sorry." "There's an opening in peds." "I start on their service tomorrow." "Again, very sorry about your hand." "you're never at a loss for words with your patients." "Oh, for god sake." "You don't seem to have any trouble letting me know how you feel, so why not tell o'malley?" "You really are the last person who should be giving romantic advice." "When I like somebody, I make sure they know it." "Life's too short to live any other way." "What if he doesn't like me back?" "then he's an idiot." "What'S... what am I doing here?" "Where's vincent?" "Did something happen?" "I can'T." "I-I can't tell her anymore." "I-I won'T." "I know." "Why don't you two take a break, check on things?" " I don't want her to be alone." " I'll sit with her." "I don't mind." "Sarabeth, anna... am i in a hospital?" "oh, honey.. there's been an accident." "Where's vincent?" "Is he okay?" "Your husband is on his way." "He'll be here any minute." " He's on his way now?" " Yes." "He's just around the corner, actually, if you watch the door, you'll see him any minute." " you'll see him." " Good." "He'S..." " he's on his way?" " He's on his way." " Around the corner." " Yes." "He's around the corner." "It's better for her." "Thank you." "Come on." "Let's go check on our husbands." "Karev, I think that clock is wrong." "I know it says 2:30 A.M. But I'm pretty sure it's actually only 11:58 P.M." "Can you fix it, please?" " Set it back?" " Set it back." "It's important that the official hospital record shows the right time, and the insurance company needs it, too." "And I say it's only 11:58 P.M.." "ScalpeL" "You know, you'd be good in the field." "Now that you got this battle scar, you'd fit right in." " oh,ight." " I'm serious." "You should ditch this place and go for the adventure." "You're telling me this place gives you a rush, a high?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it does." "Oh, DR. Hunt, there you are." "How's the gash on that leg?" "Uh, DR. Yang took good care of me, excellent care." "I made a few calls they speak very highly of you at maryland shock trauma." "I also heard a story that you constructed an O.R. Table from an exploded humvee in the middle of the desert.That true?" "Well, you have to be innovative in the middle of the desert." "You have to be innovative everywhere." "How would you like a job, DR. Hunt?" "I appreciate the offer, but I am due to go back to the sandpit, finish my tour." "Well... good luck to you." "Thanks." "What?" "I" " I..." "I-I don't even know you." "So?" "might have been the hypothermia treatment." " or my surgical skills." " Oh, we'll never know." "What's going on?" "phillip can wiggle his toes." " oh, say it." " Don't make me say it." "Please say it." "Say it for me." "even though it's technically not true yet." "We made a man walk." " we made a man walk." " We made a man walk." "what a nice way to wake up." "did you sleep with meredith?" " Yeah, I did." " Why?" "I" " I mean.sor-I... were you in love with her?" "I thought I was." "But I was too scared to admit it, so I..." "I did know that she... did not, uh, like me that way, and..." "I did it anyway, when I sh-I..." "I shouldn't have, because I'M... besides just being... so selfish, I... you know, to take advantage of her that way and to want her to want me like that when clearly she d" "like I said, I made a lot of mistakes last year, but I'm trying to get back on track and..." " you know, I gotta do that by myself, so- - the only reason I-I..." "I wanted to help is because I-I-I feel like you and I are more than just...roommates." "We are more than just roommates." "We are?" "Yeah, we're friends." "I mean, right now you're probably one of my best friends." "Best friends." "I'm not an experimenter." "I don't like to experiment." "But then you showed up, and we did it together, and the experiment was kind of a success." "look, I've never done this before." "I" " I've never kissed a girl." "I'm not sure I even like kissing girls." "I don't, actually, like kissing girls." "I just..." "like kissing one girl." "You." "I don't have anything to compare it with.I... you're the only woman I've ever kissed." "So you're freaking out, too?" " A lot of therapy time." " Yeah, I don't do therapy." "I just get all "aah!" And then I get all clingy and... okay." "You don't need to know that yet." "so... does this.." "this kinda makes us virgins, doesn't it?" "I... guess in a way it does." "Virgins." "Hey, we can be scared together." "Kind of virgins, and, yeah, we can be scared together." " okay?" " Yeah, thanks." "You said derek and i would never make it." "And then I was karmically impaled for saying it." "But you're right." "I mean, people don't really have happily ever afters." "People barely have ever afters." "So why would derek and i be any different?" "Mer, why do you care what I think?" "Because you're my person." "And if I'm gonna do this with him- be whole and healthy and be a warm, gooey person who lives with a boy, I need you." "I need you on board." "I need you to cheer me on." "Because you're the only one who knows me... darkly, really knows me." "I need you to pretend that I can do this, even if you don't believe." "Because if you abandon me now, I will never make it, and I'll never get my happy ending, and then that's just- life." "I'm saying please here." "I think you and derek will make it." "You'll make it work." "Are you just telling me what I want to hear?" "I am your person." "I'm on your side." "Once upon a time... happily ever after... the stories we tell are the stuff of dreams." "Fairy tales don't come true." "see?" "I told you I would show you my dress." "You look better than a bride." "Reality is much stormier... much murkier... much scarier." "listen up, people." "Listen up." "we used to be the best surgical program in the west, an upstart program that no one ever heard of that blew everyone out the water." "Then overnight, we got old..entrenched and sloppy, just like everyone else." "We've been resting on our laurels." "You have all been failing- failing to take initiative, failing to ask the tough questions, failing to practice your skills, failing to give opportunity to practice skills." "And I let it happen." "So you have not failed." "We have failed." "Well, it stops, and it stops now." "People sliding over general surgery as though they will never see anything but a heart or a brain through the course of their career, as though blood from the heart doesn't make its way through the whole body or the nerves don't travel past the brain stem." "It's shoddy teaching, and it makes for shoddy surgeons." "We've failed." "Get it?" "We all have, and it stops now." "The surgical training protocol is officially changing, people." "The bar has been raised." "Consider yourself on notice." "Reality- it's so much more interesting than living happily ever after."