"The grappa was a bad idea." "No the grappa was a good idea." "This is why we got into advertising in the first place, rember?" "Some kids wanted to be firemen, some kids wanted to be astronauts, some kids wanted to be doctors." "We always wanted to be hung over from expensive booze that someone else paid for" "While everyone back in chicago thinks we're working." "That was our dream." "We dared to dream, mason," "And now we are living our dream, and the grappa..." "Was part of our dream." "Do not piss all over the dream." "In my version of the dream, i was less nauseous." "It's work." "If it's really important, they'll call back." "Do not answer that." "Hello?" "Hello, mason." "This is gordon benedict." "I know." "Is conner around?" "No." "He's, uh in a meeting." "Listen," "I know you guys are covering that print shoot in l.A., but i need you to fly back a.S.A.P." "Why?" "What for?" "We need a little help on arc mobile." "The client has some issues." "What issues?" "They're toying with the idea of changing the strategy." "I thought they loved stu's campaign." "It doesn't say enough about texting and video and music." "Gordon, i'd love to come back." "My wife would love me to come back." "But, you know, we're pretty tied up here with this photo shoot." "Morning." "Morning." "Look, mason, this is a big opportunity for you guys." "There are some rumblings over at arc mobile." "They want the work approved by october." "And that puts them on schedule to launch this..." "During the super bowl." "Super bowl?" "So, you know we got nothing." "We don't got nothing." "We got my idea with the gladiator." "You know, with one hand, he's slaying the lions." "With the other hand..." "he's sending a text." "I know." "I know." "He's sending a text, right?" "That's good." "We can call him..." ""Spar-Text-Icus."" "Spar-Text-Icus -- Come on, that's good." "Come on." ""Spar-Tex-- " What is it with you and ancient rome these days?" "I thought it was greece." "How do you tell those two apart, anyway?" "They're two entirely different countries." "No, i mean, with all the gods." "Like, which one's zeus?" "That's roman." "Apollo." "Greek." "Hydra." ""Hydra"?" "That's not a god." "Yeah, it's a deep-Sea creature." "Excuse me." "Hello." "What the hell are you guys doing here?" "Changing the world." "You're supposed to be in l.A." "I know, but we came back" "To help out on arc mobile." "I don't need help on arc mobile." "I'm all over arc mobile." "I'm mr." "Arc mobile." "I don't think gordon's told him yet." "I don't think he's told him." "Told me what?" "Yeah, the client has some...issues." "Is my campaign dead?" "Look," "When arc mobile brought peter derby in" "To take over their marketing department, we knew that " "Is it dead, gordon?" "Tell me my campaign is dead." "We knew we might want to make some changes." "This thing that i spent" "Two months making, derby feels that this work doesn't differentiate arc mobile" "Six months presenting and re-Presenting from verizon or att " "Over and over again -- Is it dead?" "!" "Hmm?" "Hmm?" "Just tell me it's dead if it's dead.." "Is it dead?" "Yes." "It's dead." "Hmm." "Aaah!" "Damn it, gordon." "What is it that you do?" "You're an account director!" "You just do what you're supposed to do " "Keep the campaign that i sold sold!" "Unh!" "Ow!" "Mother" "Pearls before swine!" "Aaah!" "Why did you tell him it was dead?" "'Cause it is dead." "If we don't impress arc mobile at the meeting," "They might put this account into review." "There's no super bowl spot, is there, gordon?" "Look, i think if we do some truly outstanding work " "Is there a super bowl spot?" "No." "Well... one of us better go talk to stu." "He likes you better." "You're more persuasive." "You can be very persuasive." "Rock, paper, scissors." " No." "Ro-Sham-Bo." "Ro-Sham-Bo." "Two out of three." "Ro-Sham-Bo." "That's me." "Scram." "Clients are idiots!" "Stu, i like your campaign." "Gordon's just afraid this guy might put the account in review." "Is gordon your girlfriend?" "Yeah, gordon's my girlfriend." "Did you tell your girlfriend we'd do more work?" "I told him i'd talk to you." "Why are you such a pussy?" "Why do you accommodate them?" "Because it's a $75 million account." "Pusoir!" "Account people like gordon" "And clients like arc mobile are supposed to be afraid of us, mason." "They need to think that we're smarter than them, that we dress better than them," "That we're cooler than them." "That's why they do what we tell them." "They must be afraid of us sowe can give them what weneed not what they want." "And every time you act like a little girland accommodate them, you show weakness" "And they're less afraid of us, and they stop listening to us." "Then they stop buying the recommended campaign!" "Then they start using their own judgment, and we're all screwed!" "Because clients are idiots!" "Well, stu, i guess i just feel like it's possible to do this job without being an asshole." "Really?" "You think you can nice-Guy and soft-Pedal your way up the ladder around here?" "Sorry, mason." "The executives on the 22nd floor aren't looking for nice guys." "They're looking for award-Winning creatives." "Oh." "Like me." "You think you're safe 'cause everybody likes you?" "Guess what." "I don't." "Pretty soon, my opinion's the only one that's gonna matter around here." "Then you'll be gone." "Poof!" "So go tell your girlfriend, gordon, we're not doing any more work." "Well, tony already assigned teams." "You talked to tony about this?" "I ran into him in the hall." "He said, "how did the meeting go?"" "Wha" " What?" "He's our boss." "No." "Tony is my boss." "I am your boss." "I'm your boss, mason!" "Not tony " " Me!" "Wait right there!" "Tony!" "Hi." "Joe." "Gene." "Conner." "Hey." "New guy." "Fellow cube-Dweller." "I'm supposed to have a window." "Ooh." "Fancy." "You need to decorate in here." "This is grim." "You know, if you need a billy joel poster, tom here has a couple thousand." "Shut up." "This agency will collapse" "Under the weight of its own mediocrity!" "Excuse me." "Hi." "Stu." "I know it's only my first day, and i'm really excited to be working with you." "I can't wait, really." "But the thing is, and it's totally no big deal," "But i thought i was getting a window office." "Stu." "Hi, it's me " " Sarah." "Sarah krajicek-Hunter." "Remember, you hired me to..." "...be your partner." "So " "We are gonna do more work," "And by "we," i mean "you."" "Client wants to see more work wednesday." "Next wednesday?" "Day after tomorrow, cheesecake." "So you got less than two days to save your ass," "And if you don't, i'll get to fire you even sooner than i dreamed possible." "Now get out." "You want to see a new " "Get out!" "Mason?" "Sarah krajicek." "Oh, it's "krajicek-Hunter" now." "Oh." "Uh... congratulations on that." "Yeah." "Thank you." "We got divorced," "So..." "Ah." "Um, wha" " Wha" "What are you doing here?" "Oh, i was just about to knock on my new partner's door." "I would no" " New partner?" "Tony didn't say he was hiring anybody new." "Who's tony?" " Toni mink." "Group creative director." "Oh, right." "Well, stu hired me, so... yeah, no " " You don't want to " "He doesn't like to be bothered when the door's closed." "Knocking would not be good for you." "And he throws things, too." "So, hey, love to catch up, show you around, but " "I really can't." "I have to go down to h.R." "I'm supposed to have a window office." "Good for you." "God!" "Conner!" "You always go with the scissors." "What is that?" "What, is that an art-Director thing?" "It's not funny." "It's a little bit funny." "Tony montana." "The delightful stu hoffman just threatened to fire me." "Come on." "You know stu." "That's just how he motivates people." "Why are you defending him?" "I'm " " I'm not." "I'm not defending him." "It's just, he does do some of the best work in this building." "Plus, he's been good to us, mason." "He just gave us a 10-Day print shoot in l.A." "Yeah, that's because he screwed us out of selling our arc mobile campaign." "When we're creative directors, we'll screw other people" "Out of selling their clearly superior campaigns." "Look, mason, nobody's getting fired, all right?" "Everything's fine." "Everything's fine." "We're fine." "You know that stu just hired sarah krajicek-Hunter?" "Sarah krajicek-Hunter, that writes those bud light spots?" "And who wins armfuls of clios?" "That's the one." "Hey, come on!" "I'll introduce you!" "No, hey!" "No, no, no." "Not like this." "I'm not presentable." "No, absolutely not." "She out there right now?" "No, she's gone to h.R." "Apparently, somebody promised her a window." "She's getting a window?" "Where are you going?" "I'm going home." "What?" "!" "I can't work." "I'm tired from taking that stupid red-Eye." "I'm cranky." "I hate what i'm wearing." "What are you " " You look fine." "It's all blue." "What am i, blue guy?" "I got to reload, okay?" "Hey, you were not in that meeting, conner!" "I am not losing my job over this!" "You will not lose your job, mason." "I will not let that happen." "But i am no good to you like this, okay?" "We'll start fresh tomorrow -- Work hard tomorrow." "Big day tomorrow." "I got some colored pens." "Ooh!" "A clio." "Check that out." "Ooh!" "She's got like six bottles of lotion in here." "Who needs this much lotion?" "It smells so good in here." "It's like cinnamon or bergamot or something." "Stop whistling." "It's annoying." "Do you mind?" "It was hector's idea." "It was less than an idea." "It just sort of happened." "Welcome to the office." "Skedaddle." "Get out." "Get away." "Did you take anything?" "No." "Where's my clio?" "Where's my clio?" "!" "See " " Thief!" "It's okay." "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay." "I can't take it anymore." "Sarah." "Don't knock on the door." "He's not answering, okay?" "So, come on." "D" " Don't go in ther-- Aaah!" "Wha" "Oh, no." "Oh, no." "You okay?" "I'm fine." "Is that stu's chair?" "No." "Hmm." "Look, why don't we go do some work -- You know, take your mind off it." "Dude, i can't work right now " "Not with all this." "Not with..." "Stu." "You realize the last thing stu hoffman saw before he died was the pillsbury doughboy?" "And maybe these ceiling tiles." "Boy, do you think these tiles have asbestos?" "I think they have asbestos in them." "Oh, my god." "Can't breathe." "Yeah, it totally sucks, but the client meeting is tomorrow, so why don't we " "No, it's not tomorrow." "Gordon bought us another couple of days." "Gordon?" "He didn't call me." "Besides, what do you care when the client meeting is?" "The guy who wanted to fire you is out of the way." "Right. 'Cause that was my evil plan." "You need starbucks." "No, no." "I don't need a starbucks." "That's exactly what i don't need." "I don't drink coffee anymore." "No coffee." "Since when?" "Since this morning." "Gave it up." "Cold turkey." "Done with the coffee." "Do you realize how much caffeine stu hoffman put in his body?" "No?" "I'll tell you -- A lot." "You should switch, too." "Seriously, mason." "No more coffee." "Coffee gonna get you, okay?" "Promise me you'll quit." "I do not know what i would do if you died on me, too." "How long we been together -- Five years?" "Seven years." "Seven years." "And look at us." "Look at you." "You're not just my partner." "You're my best friend." "You're like my brother." "Not like my brother." "He's a tool." "You're like my non-Dink brother." "Just " " You promise me you'll give up coffee." "I have never been healthier." "Promise." "Promise." "No." "No." "Promise." "I- I'll do half-Caf." "Great." "Good." "Let's get to work." "All right." "Let me just take a nap first." "Got a caffeine-Withdrawal headache." "Humdinger." "Just " "We'll work after lunch." "It's a date." "Mason." "I was just writing you a note." "You got a minute?" "Let me buy you a cup of coffee." "Okay." "You ever have back pain?" "It's awful." "Just " " Just sitting in a chair can be hell." "You know, your back is a series of bones that are separated by these disks of cartilage." "But without the cartilage, your bones just grind together." "Having stu hoffman in my group was like not having cartilage for seven years." "Every decision, every meeting was like" "Having two vertebrae just grinding up against each other." "He was a hell of a talented guy, but..." "Not the way you want to be." "Yeah, i know." "Stu could be " "I'm promoting you." "Creative director." "What?" "Me?" "But shouldn't you wait?" "Oh, i've waited " " Seven years." "Haven't you been listening?" "But wha" " What about conner?" "I ever tell you about my old partner frank?" "Very charming and talented, good presenter." "But in the end, they're not that passionate about advertising." "Like frank, he " " He wanted to write novels." "Well, now frank's living his dream." "But you, mason, you're like me." "You live and you die by this stuff." "I don't want an artist." "I don't want a sculptor." "I don't want a novelist." "I want a creative director." "Couldn't you promote us both?" "No." "You are my cartilage." "Tony, look " " The guy's my partner." "All right, look, i... i won't put out the promotion memo right away, okay?" "I'll give you time to tell your partner." "But you better tell him soon, 'cause we got a lot of work to do." "There are eight other creative groups in this agency," "And they're just waiting for us to screw up so they can steal our accounts," "Because they are hyenas." "And if we lose arc mobile," "It's just gonna be a feeding frenzy." "And goodbye, mink group." "So, it's about survival, mason," "And that's why i need you " " Not conner." "You're the grown-Up." "That's it?" "Would you stop yelling at me?" "You think of another spot, then." "W" " Why do you always assume the world's gonna adore the first idea that pops into your head?" "I mean, sometimes you got to work a little." "I've been working." "Conner, come on." "I am dealing with a lot right now, okay?" "Look, about stu " "Don't." "You don't say his name." "You never liked stu." "He never likedme,okay?" "And even if i didn't like him," "Which i did not, it doesn't mean i wanted the guy to have a heart attack." "I mean, sometimes stuff happens you can't control, stuff that..." "Doesn't seem fair." "Look, conner " "Okay." "I " " Enough, okay?" "I don't want to talk about this anymore, okay?" "Let's, uh..." "let's work." "Really?" "Yeah." "Exactly.That's right." "Get my mind off all the " " All this " " All the " " Ah." "All right." "Okay." "Here we go." "You ready?" "Freedom, all right?" "The freedom to manage your life and your work in a stressful world." "Right." "Right?" "It's spar-Text-Icus." "Will you focus?" "I'm focused!" "That's one thing?" "That's what i'm getting?" "But it's one big thing, okay?" "It's not a random shot." "This is a big idea." "Multitasking, running your whole world with one hand." "Listen, the text the guy sends his wife, okay?" "Something modern and mundane, like, "i'll be home at sevenish,"" "But we write "sevenish" "v-Ish," you know?" "Like the roman num" " Mason mac!" "Stone mason!" "Okay." "Good." "Put it up." "This is good.On the board." "Hey " " There's a whole history campaign here." "History campaign." "I like that." "Uh, a neanderthal guy slays a woolly mammoth with one hand." "With the other... his wife..." "he texts his wife... um..." "D-- "Don't bother gathering tonight."" "Yeah, that's " " Yeah, that's where i was going." "Mail." "Working." "Working." "See?" "This is something." "We're on top of it now." "It's not a small idea." "It's a big idea." "It's spar-Text-Icus." "Big, you know?" "A couple more spots, and we got ourselves a campaign." "Yeah, slow down, genius." "You still got to come up with a tag line." "Yeah, i'll " " I'll tell you what." "Write it yourself boss." "The thoughts of the entire agency are with you." "Stu hoffman was so young and such a good person." "Yes, yes, he was... young." "And i just wanted to let you know" "That any help you need during this difficult time, we will be there for you." "Well, thank you, denise." "In fact, simon cochran has offered to pitch in and help on arc mobile." "Well, that is so kind." "That " " Hmm." "Will you thank him for me?" "And..." "And thank you,denise." "Oh, you're absolutely welcome, tony." "That bitch!" "She already has cochran's group working on our account!" "That totally blows!" "It's a gang bang." "I told you." "What do you want, a trophy?" "Yes, i'd like a trophy." "Guys, shut up." "Anybody who is planning on spending time with their significant other this week, cancel it." "And anybody who's eventhinking of attending stu hoffman's memorial service, you can just forget it," "Because the way we are going to honor stu" "Is by not letting that midget, poncy," "No-Talent hack simon cochran" "Steal our account!" "This is all hands on deck, people." "This is 24/7." "Where's conner?" "I" " I don't know, exactly." "Well, find him." "'Cause i need him." "I am not going to lose this account to another group." "You hear me?" "What are you looking at?" "!" "Let's go!" "Mush!" "Mush!" "Arc mobile!" "Like a superhero." "There's no tag line." "Man, tag lines are so dated." "People don't rember tag lines." "They rember commercials." ""Just do it." "This bud's for you."" ""We try harder." "Uh-Oh, spaghettios."" "**" "**" "Uh-Oh, that's old school." "Uh-Oh, you're fired." "What?" "Guys," "I can't argue the artistic merits of tag lines with you again." "Clients like tag lines." "We're trying to sell phones." ""Sell phones," "cellphones."" "I am not going up in front of denise without a tag line." "You guys high?" "What do you mean?" "Well, i heard you presenting." "You have a tag line." "It's just buried in the middle of your lame announcer copy." "Give me the script." "Give it." "There -- "Way beyond the call."" "I could write 15 spots to that line." "Conner, where are you?" "I've been looking for you all day." "I was gonna tell you." "I was just trying to find the right time, you know?" "And tony swore that he would hold off on that memo." "Just call me." "Okay." "I need a wrist." "You mean an art director?" "Yeah, whatever." "Tony said not to worry about polished presentation boards." "Yeah, i know what he said." "That's what everybody says " ""Just bring good ideas." But that's a lie." "There is going to be a roomful of people judging me right now," "And i don't have a partner." "Yeah, well, i don't have a partner, either." "Well... hey." "I'm a writer." "You're an art director." "Neither one of us has a partner." "I have a partner." "I...just misplaced him." "Look," "If tony says that rough ideas are fine, then rough ideas are fine." "Okay, well, what are those?" "Tom and hector's campaign." "Those are not rough ideas." "I know." "Tony wants to throw something in front of focus groups." "Wait " " Focus groups?" "Wait." "Nobody said anything about focus groups." "And the priest rides up on a scooter." "He's met by the cheerleaders," "And then he pulls off his collar and shirt, revealing a superhero costume underneath." "Priest -- "Way beyond the call."" "I don't get it." "As a born-Again christian, i find that commercial offensive." "And i don't really think i'd remember this spot." "Me neither." "I'm already trying to forget it." "All right, what do you all like best about this commercial?" "Nothing?" "Thank you." "I think stu kept most of his really good stealable ideas behind his desk." "What happened to you?" "Hey." "Get your own cab." "You want to dance?" "Nothing." "So, what you doing in here -- Creative-Directing?" "It's interesting." "You know, if your little bruised ego" "Hadn't turned you into a sulking child, we might be a little less screwed." "Ah, see, that's what i don't get." "Right there, huh?" "I've been carrying you for seven years." "You can't even write a single" "Cellphone commercial, and you're the one that gets promoted?" "You carry me?" "I've been carrying you so long, i've got scoliosis!" "Ha!" "Oh, my ribs!" "The only person you've ever cared about is yourself." "Is that right?" "Really?" "Well, then, why did i defend you every time stu told me to get a new partner?" "That's right." "He must have told me that a hundred times." "And what did i say?" "I said, "no, we're partners."" "Every time he told me to dump your ass -- Not because he hated you," "Which he did, but because he always knew you were a hack." "Well, obviously, tony, his boss, disagreed." "And maybe if you weren't such a selfish, irresponsible egomaniac," "He might have considered promoting you,too." "There you go." "Soon as something doesn't go your way, you just throw a hissy fit and walk out the door." "What does that remind me of?" "Right " " Stu!" "Well, then... i guess that must mean that you'll be going through my garbage looking for ideas to save your ass next." "**" "**" "Have a good meeting... hack." ""Seriously, how are you?" "I'm fine."" "When you say "fine," do you mean "leave me alone and never call me again"?" ""I mean..."" ""..." "This."" "Mmm." "Announcer -- "Arc mobile -- Let your thumbs do the talking."" "End scene." "Oh, thank you." "Thanks for coming out." "Simon." "Cellphones are like assholes " "Everyone's got one, and no one thinks too much about them" "Until they stop working." "Well..." "This campaign is gonna change that thinking." "Tony, i'm sorry." "What do you mean you're sorry?" "Well, we lost." "We lost?" "We better not have lost." "I can't afford to be out of a job." "I thought denise said " "No, no, denise said" "That she was going to recommend cochran's campaign," "But she also said she was gonna let us present tom and hector's, too." "Okay, so... what are we " "No, "we" " " We don't do anything." "You are gonna go to that meeting, and you are gonna present" "Our campaign, which wasn't even recommended," "Or i will be out on the street, and you will be working for simon cockroach." "And if i were you, i would bring your partner." "He's the better presenter." "These are pretty funny." "Yours?" "Who are you?" "Conner." "Who are " "You're sarah -- You're sarah krajicek-Hunter?" "I was expecting someone a little " "Yeah, yeah." "Get " " Get on in there." "What happened to your face?" "Nothing." "Mason." "Mason did this." "He hit you?" "Might as well have." "How'd the meeting go?" "Awful, terrible." "They hate me." "No, they don't hate you." "Just hate your ideas." "No, mason told me to present it, then he just sat there and recommended three other campaigns." "I cannot believe what an idiot i just made out of myself!" "Relax, sarah krajicek-Hunter." "Everybody knows how good you are." "I got a drawerful of these." "Anyone mention me?" "You know what?" "I am good." "I'm really good." "I'm probably one of the best writers in the city of chicago." "Whoa, easy there, tiger." "No, seriously, i don't think your partner understands how good i am." "In the last seven years, i've won awards on every single thing i've worked on." "Well, except shampoo." "I just don't get all the hair-Bouncing, behaving like a complete loser." "Shampoo's tough, but let me just tell you, my partner, he knows exactly how good you are, all right?" "That's why he wants to keep you in front of the firing squad." "He's just like tony mink " " Jackal." "All right?" "Won't support anyone who's better than him," "Won't support anyone that might make a play for their job." "Then why are you partners with him?" "What?" "Guys," "I need completed storyboards on my desk in an hour." "Thank you." "What are you doing?" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Play it cool." "Why are you doing this?" "Play it cool." "Easy does it." "Stop touching my trousers." "Look up." "Sarah, have you seen conner?" "Tall guy, probably sucking his thumb?" "Mm... no." "Well, if you do, could you tell him i've left a ticket for tomorrow's client meeting?" "I've left it on his desk." "Get out." "Get out." "Get out." "Please, please.Yeah. Yeah, sure." "Is he gone?" "Yes, he's gone." "Get out." "Nice shoes." "There was only one more seat in first class." "I gave it to cochran." "Stu hoffman..." "Was an inspiration." "He was kind." "Uh, he was kind." "Generous." "Stu hoffman was an inspiration." "...was an inspiration." " Stju hofman bio je inspiracija." "Stu hoffman was..." "An inspiration... kind." "I'm really going to miss him." "So pathetic!" "Hi." "I'm amy." "So, tony said that you've been assigned to my account." "I'm so excited." "I'm here to brief you." "On what?" "Only the best account in the agency." "Shampoo!" "I've been sitting here for the last half-Hour listening to all you people" "Try to sell the idea that stu hoffman was this great person." "Well, i'm not buying it." "No, stu hoffman -- Let me tell you about stu hoffman." "Stu took care of stu and sold it like it was" "His "passion," his "integrity."" "But really he was just selfish." "Stu hoffman was 43." "And...he died angry." "And he died alone." "You scared everyone away, stu." "You scared us all away with all the, "oh, is my campaign dead?" "!" "You're a pussy!" "You're a moron!" You're dead." "Thank you, stu," "For showing me that there are more important things in life than just work." "Thank you." "Now... if you'll excuse me..." "i'm late for a meeting." "Simon, look, i " " I'll be one minute." "This meeting is too important to this agency" "For us to get bogged down" "In some sort of creative-Department pissing contest." "I totally agree." "That's just the kind of big-Agency crap i think peter derby is sick of." "This is our chance to show him a strong point of view," "Which means, i think..." "We should only show one campaign." "And i-I think that should be yours." "I, uh...had thought that all along." "I just didn't want it to seem like i was trying" "To steal your account." "It's not my account." "It's the agency's." "Oh." "Right." "Hey, mason." "When this, uh, craziness is over," "We should, uh, grab a spot of lunch or something." "What do you say?" "That sounds good." "Arc mobile -- "Freedom's gonna ring."" "Now, just imagine this track re-Recorded by" "Lady smith black mambazo." "Brilliant, and, i think it's fair to say, on strategy." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Now, mason has" "Another campaign we'd like to show you." "Uh, no." "Actually, i don't." "I think the recommendation is clear." "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "**" "Peter... i'd love to hear what you think." "I think i'm bored." ""Freedom's gonna ring" is safe, it's old-Fashioned," "And it's not going to motivate anyone to switch their service or buy a new phone." "I was hoping for something that would make me feel a little nervous." "Uh, wait!" "Uh..." "There is another idea, actually," "About a greek guy " " No." "Who had the gladiators?" "Rome." "Rome." "It's, uh, i think it's rome." "You know what?" "You're right." "You're absolutely right." "Peter's right " "All this work we've done, it's not gonna motivate anyone." "It's bullshit!" "You know what motivates people?" "I mean,really motivates them?" "Fear of failure..." "Fear of being laughed at..." "or " " Or passed over." "Fear of ending up alone." "What you need to promise people" "Is that arc mobile can give them freedom" "From fear." "That'll motivate them." "So... what's the sp-- The sp" " Here's the spot." "The spot, um... young guy standing in front of a conference room full of people." "Youngish guy." "And biggest meeting of his life," "And it's not going well." "He's bombing." "He does not have the big idea," "And everybody knows it, and nobody's stepping up to help him." "So the guy starts to imagine..." "What his life will be like when he fails." "And we see all of his worst fears come true." "Mason, i'm sorry." "I only loved you for your paycheck." "So now the guy's homeless." "But then, suddenly, he gets an idea." "And he's got to tell somebody." "So he " " He borrows a bike, and -- And he starts riding." "But he's never gonna make it in time, so he pulls out his phone" "And dials a number." "No answer." "So now," "With one hand, he steers the bike back to his old life," "And with the other, he types a text message and pushes "send."" "We cut back to the conference room, where all his colleagues are still sitting in the same meeting," "And all their phones start to beep and buzz," "And it's the big idea." "The guy saves the meeting." "He's a hero." "We cut back to him on the bike," "Raising his arms in triumph." "Now, thanks to arc mobile," "The guy is totally free from fear." "I udara ga autobus." "And he gets hit by a bus." "But the bus doesn't kill him." "It just " " It just throws him from the bike and through the air" "Into the arms..." "of mike ditka." "Or beyonce." "Not exactly that, but you, um..." "You get the idea." "Now, that " " That makes me nervous." "So, what's the tag line?" "Uh, the tag line..." ""What can you do with one hand?"" ""What can you do with one hand?"" "No." "Mm-Hmm." "You're kidding me." "I'm not." "You're joking." "No." "You only presented one campaign" "To a client that never buys a recommendation?" "You totally set cochran up." "Can of mace." "Good going." "See, that right there -- That's why you got the promotion." "Well, for what it's worth, i told tony to promote us both." "Well, he didn't, which is fine." "But you're gonna have to promise me we're still gonna be partners," "**" "**" "**" "'Cause you're gonna be going to all these" "Client meetings and management team-Building retreats..." "I can't do it alone." "And i don't want to do it with anyone else." "I'm a better writer when i know you're gonna be reading it." "Can't explain it." "It's just... you get me." "You're not gonna kiss me, are you?" "Only if you promise we'll still be partners." "I thought you said i was a hack." "No, i didn't." "So, what'd you sell in there?" "They liked my line, didn't they?" "Yes, they liked your line." "We're shooting spar-Text-Icus." "No, we are not." "Actually..." "I came up with an idea." "Really?" "Mm-Hmm." "I mean...good." "Good." "Good for you." "But they liked my line?" "You're an asshole." "Yeah."