"A thousand years ago, in the most ancient of dojos, the most delicious sandwich in the world entered our realm." "The only problem is if you eat it wrong..." "You die." "Fortunately, men discovered the correct way to eat it." "With cut-off jean shorts and the proper haircut." "Death Sandwich!" "Death Sandwich!" "If you don't eat it right, you're gonna DIE tonight!" "It's the Death Sandwi-i-i-i-i-i-ich!" "So come on down to "Death-Kwon-Do Pizza  Subs"." "And remember, eat it right or you die!" "How may I help you?" "You guys?" "!" "So, you have the nerve to look me in the eye after nearly destroying my Death-Kwon-Do business." "Look, we're sorry about that, man." "But hey, it looks like you really bounced back." "Got this whole sandwich gig going on, looking good." "You're lucky forgiveness is one of the many virtues of Death-Kwon-Do." "So what can I get you?" "The Death Sandwich!" "To receive the Death Sandwich, you must first sign this waiver of death." "Yeah, sure." "Let's do it." "Why not?" "Alright, I'll have that out for you in a minute." "One Death Sandwich." "But, remember." "If you don't eat it right, you die." "Yeah, yeah." "Wear mullets and jean shorts." "We got it." "Man, I'm about to tear this thing up!" "Whoa, wait." "We gotta get mullets and cut-offs first." "Aw, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Now I will take lunch!" "Death Sandwich!" "Death Sandwich!" "Death Sandwich!" "Well, well, well." "Looks like it's time for a little payback." "Let's see how they like it when somebody else steals their sandwich." "Death Sandwich!" "Death Sandwich!" "Aw, what?" "Benson!" "Whoa, are you alright?" "It really is a death sandwich." "Death sandwich?" "!" "Why would you buy something that kills people!" "?" "Why would you eat somebody's sandwich?" "Come on, guys." "This is serious." "We gotta get Benson a cure from the Death Sandwich before it's too late." "Dude, you gotta help us." "Our boss ate the Death Sandwich wrong." "What?" "How could this have happened?" "We left it in the kitchen, and Benson came and ate it." "It is clearly stated in the waiver that the Sandwich should never be left unaccompanied under any circumstances!" "You didn't read the waiver?" "Now, if you would excuse me," "I have a business to conduct." "Good day, gentlemen." "But our boss is gonna die!" "If the Sandwich is so dangerous, then why don't you just take me to the hospital?" "Yeah, you're probably right." "Let's get outta here." "I'm afraid that would be a fatal mistake." "Your boss is now far beyond the help of Western medicine." "Well, then, what are we supposed to do?" "His only chance of survival now is to see my Sensei, the Grand Master of Death-Kwon-Do." "He is the protector of the Sandwich of Life." "What's the Sandwich of Life?" "It is the only known cure for the Death Sandwich." "He will listen to your request, and if he agrees, he will let Benson have a taste." "One bite from the sandwich will cure him instantly." "All right, let's do this." "What's his address?" "I'm afraid it is not that simple." "No mere outsider is allowed before the Sensei." "I must accompany you on your journey." "But time is of the essence." "If your boss does not take a bite from the Sandwich of Life within six hours, he will die." "What's gonna happen to him if we can't get the Sandwich of life in six hours?" "His body will undergo six stages of agony while speeding towards his inevitable death." "His face will turn green and he'll begin to choke." "That's what was happening to him in the kitchen!" "Yes." "Soon after, his face will start to burn." "It burns!" "Benson's intestines will begin to melt and leak out of his body." "He will shriek in pain, but no one will hear it, because his vocal chords will have long since evaporated." "But then he'll regain his vocal chords..." "Only to cry out for mercy in ancient dialects long since forgotten." "I'm pretty sure you can go 65 here." "I'm gonna go request a meeting with the Sensei" "You guys just wait here." "Okay, minor setback." "I forgot to mention that me and the Sensei kind of had a falling out." "It's time for Plan B." "What's Plan B?" "We sneak in and take the sandwich by force." "Here, Benson." "You're gonna need the power of Death-Kwon-Do." "What, I just have to put these on?" "Not quite." "The Sandwich of Life is at the very top of the mountain." "Come now." "We move as one!" "Hey, stop!" "Quickly!" "Into the first chamber!" "Things will become increasingly more difficult as we approach the sandwich." "Be ready." "...I mean Step of Death!" "That reminds me." "In this room, you must say," ""Step of Death" every time you step, or you will plummet to your death." "Almost slipped my mind." "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Step of Death!" "Agga dagga dume tu kara tu..." "We're almost to the top, Benson." "Don't give up just yet." "The Sensei is through that door." "Is that your Sensei?" "Yes." "And that sandwich right there is the Sandwich of Life." "Which one?" "There's two of them." "It's the on the organic multi-grain." "Opposite, we have the deadliest sandwich known to man the Double Death Sandwich." "Just let me address the Sensei." "He might still be mad at me." "Sensei..." "You got a lot of nerve coming back here after what you pulled." "Forgive me, Sensei..." "What did you do?" "I took him off the streets and raised him like my own son." "He repaid me by stealing the recipe for the Death Sandwich and mass producing without permission!" "I will accept full responsibility for my crimes against the school." "But there is now a more pressing matter at hand." "Our friend Benson is about to die from eating the Death Sandwich incorrectly." "We humbly request that you bestow the Sandwich of Life upon him." "You must be a real fool." "Did you honestly think" "I'd just hand over the Sandwich of Life?" "Kill them!" "You don't deserve the powers of Death-Kwon-Do!" "Agga dagga... sanoubi..." "He says that he forgives you." "It's too bad he'll never taste from the Sandwich of Life." "Sensei, no!" "Not the Double Death Sandwich!" "Order up!" "The Bicycle Kick of Death!" "Now!" "Come on..." "What's happening?" "The mountain is self-destructing!" "Use the Death Jump!" "Thanks so much." "I don't know how we can ever repay you." "I'll probably think of something." "So come on down to "Death-Kwon-Do Pizza  Subs"" "at the Two Peaks Mall." "And remember..." "Eat it right, or you die!"