"Previously on Greek" "I am graduating this spring, and you could be the heir to my throne." "If you plan to graduate, you're going to need to complete a fifth year here at Cyprus-Rhodes." "I'm staying for a fifth year here at CRU!" "Isn't that great, Case?" " Yeah." "Frannie's already had her reign." "It's your turn now." "This is case study 8675309." "Rob Thomas guy?" "You're not nearly as unpleasant as I thought you'd be, Logan." "You smell better than I thought you would." "Will you come back to my room and have sex with me in front of Dale?" "Rusty!" "Thanks for being my handsome escort for tonight." "I am lucky to have such a beautiful lady on my arm." "Enjoy your win, poodle." "Doesn't last forever." "A little pick-me-up." "I thought you could use it, given the whole, you know..." "Sweetheart debacle." "Chocolate shavings." "Very intuitive." "Dark chocolate, no less." "Tasty and high in fiber." "It's win-win." "Speaking of win-win, remember when you were asking for more responsibility with the sority?" "Mm-hmm." " I think I might have something for you." "Campaign manager." "I'm considering a second term as Zeta-Beta president." "I can see your campaign slogan now:" ""Frannie, so nice, she deserves to lead twice. "" "That just came to you?" " I know." "It's a gift." "I'm thinking we strategize over the break at my house in Jackson Hole." "I think that is a great idea." "You thought me being president was a great idea too." "Remember that?" "And I thought Olando Bloom was going to be the next Tom Cruise." "We all make mistakes, don't we?" "Rebecca, walk with me." "Oh, my God, you guys." "Have you seen today's courier?" "We have a school paper?" "Oh, my God." "No." "Let's do one more." "Do my eyes look crossed to you?" "No, your eyes look adorable." "They've looked adorable in the past 15 pictures that we've taken." "This picture has to be perfect." "It's gonna be seen throughout the Chicago land." "My parents, friends in the eagle scouts, my english teacher who created a eHarmony profile for me in tenth grade." "I was hoping that you wanted this picture, so you wouldn't forget me." "Forget you?" "I can barely remember anything before you." "Mm, I don't wanna go home." "Me neither." "It's just four weeks." "A nanosecond when you consider the age of the galaxy." "Good." "Then let's get this picture perfect." "Button up your privates." "The Lord's witness coming through." "The Lord evolved our privates, Dale." "He's seen them." "Yeah, but I'm sure he doesn't want me to see them." "You can look, Dale." "And you can look at this." "Your people made the front page." ""The secret world of the CRU Greek system exposed. "" ""sex scandals, booze, and cheating run rampant." "Written by anonymous. "" "Finally the liberal media gets something right." "Transcript: swsub. com" "GREEK 1X10 "Black  White and Read All Over"" "Synchro:" "Beyond" "Enough!" "Bribing girls to pledge during rush?" "An automated telephone service for cheating?" "Indiscriminate sex, and rampant underage alcohol abuse." "Clearly, you people are unable to regulate yourselves." "So from this day forward, the university will do it for you." "As dean of students, you'll answer to me now." "Your honor, I object!" "To?" "Well..." "Jean Shorts." "Dane Cook, highly objectionable." "Oh, and, uh, oh, your complete and utter lack of presumption that we're innocent until proven guilty." "No more questions." "Your witness!" "Pre-law?" "Not yet, but I'm digging the suit." "Son, stand up." "The only presumption I'm willing to make is that the Greek social calendar will now be much less crowded." "Next semester, everything changes." "I'll be watching you." "Did you mean for that to sound pervy?" "Hey!" "Dean Bowman is this close to shutting us down, and you're mouthing off." "Would you quit your belly-aching, Evelyn?" "Your parties are so lame anyway, what do you have to lose?" "Okay, stop, both of you." "This is a time to put your personal issues aside and work together to..." "Thank you." "You can step away now." "Dean Bowman may think we should all be held accountable..." "But I think we know better." "There is a rat out there." "And there's a house that has been feeding that rat all of our secrets, so it could publish its droppings on the front page." "Frannie, maybe we should focus on the university..." "I and the rest of the ZBZ sisters will not stop until both that house and that rat are brought to justice." "Who is with me?" "Frannie, Frannie, wait up." "Walk faster." " Just hear me out." "I think the rat is in our house, and I think it's Rebecca Logan." "Hear me out." "I think you need to head straight to Student Health and have your obsession checked." "You started a witch hunt, and we might be the witches." "Bribes to get a pledge to join a house, hazing that involved naked pictures of faculty members." "These are all things that happened at our house this semester." "It's one of our pledges." ""Faced with her boyfriend's very public infidelity," ""one sister had sex with her ex-boyfriend to even the score." ""The original two remain the 'it' couple on campus. "" "Sound familiar?" "Maybe you should have them run an MRI on that ego of yours too." "Come on, Frannie." "This isn't about you and me right now." "It's about Zeta Beta." "And if I'm right about Rebecca, none of the other Greeks will have anything to do with us." "Give it to me." "I said it, I said it." "Hey." "So how much do you think the dean is going to investigate?" "The article mentioned the cheating phone number." "Don't you worry about dean Blowman back there." "He's challenged us to become more ingenious, more innovative in our pursuit of the Kappa Tau lifestyle." "Take a seat." "Look, next semester, it is our mission to execute some of the most ass-kicking, rule-bending parties that this campus has ever seen." "So we'll go underground?" "And below the radar." "And behind the barn." "Who is with me?" "Who's with me!" "As your pledge educator, I feel we've all grown very close." "So I want you all to feel comfortable opening up to me." "The author of this article knew several private details that happened in this house." "She clearly has no loyalty to anything or anyone except herself." "Likes to spread misery." "You're not serious?" "It reads like your résumé." "Frannie, you know she's crazy, right?" "I've never been anything but loyal to you." "To me, absolutely." "But your devotion to this sisterhood has been a bit..." "Suspect." "I have been a huge asset to this house, and I have received nothing but grief for it." "If you think I did it, fine." "Then prove it." "Nice motel, Ash." "Either you're planning a meth bender, or you're on the lam." "Travis called this morning." "And for our six-year anniversary, he is making a spontaneous visit." "Tonight." "Aren't you just gonna see him when you go home in a few days?" "That was the plan." "Until he decided he'd rather spend the break with his friends in Mexico." "Oh, that sounds, uh..." "Inconvenient?" "I know." "The house is at defcon 5 because of this stupid article." "He could not have chosen a worse time." "Ugh, well, did you tell him?" " I did." "And he says he finds it "highly suspect that our school paper is capable of serious, investigative reporting. "" "Of course he did." "This was the only place available on six hours' notice." "Ugh, help me make it livable." "The last thing I need right now is Travis bitching about this room." "Hey, hey, hey, just relax, okay?" "The only thing this room needs to be beautiful is you in it." "Okay?" "All right?" "Thanks." "Mm-hmm." " I'm not so sure Travis feels the same way." "All right, let's, uh, try to make this place look a little less like that movie hostel." "They really think Rebecca Logan wrote the article?" "Yeah, and they were really angry." "I'm really angry." "Aren't you?" "I mean, she's made a mess of everything." "And for what?" "It's unforgivable." "Well, what if she didn't mean to hurt anyone?" "What if she was just..." "Telling the truth?" "Defending Rebecca Logan?" "No, I'm defending whoever wrote the article, because..." "She isn't necessarily a bad person." "She might be someone you could like." "Or love?" "What are you saying?" "I wrote the article, Rusty." "I don't understand." "I pitched the whole undercover idea to the editor at the first of the year." "I wanted a spot on the newspaper staff." "It's really competitive." "So I went through rush, pledging, all of it, as an unbiased observer." "Only by the end, I wasn't so unbiased, which is why I kept the article vague." "I kept everyone's names anonymous." "I only wrote enough..." "You wrote about everything." "My sister's private life." "About how I cheated." "But no one will know that it's you." "Is Jen K really your name?" "Do you have an accent?" "I always thought you might have an accent." "No, everything that I told you about me is true." "How do I believe that?" "Why'd you have to tell me?" "The A. P. picked up the story." "It's going out on The Wire with my name on it." "My first national byline." "Yay." "By tomorrow, everyone will know that I wrote the article." "You need to go tell Casey now." "What about us?" "Just go." "Please." "Rusty, I'm sorry." "Me too." "And this is why I freakin' hate legacies." "But we were nice to you." "Despite you being weird and annoying most of the time." "I considered you a friend, and..." "Rusty." "Oh, my God." "I knew there was a reason I hated you more than I normally hate most people." "And this article is going to be published nationally tonight?" "And I didn't plan for any of that." "Are you insane?" "!" "I have to put a preemptive call into national right now." "You, get out!" "Do you think she'll calm down?" "She's the least of your problems." "We trusted you." "I trusted you." "Why would you do this?" "I'm a journalism major." "These are the kind of flashy articles that get you internships and jobs." "What about Rusty?" "It was really hard." "For Rusty, considering his first love is a liar who used him and betrayed him." "You know the dean is gonna call her in and try to get her to name names and houses." "Do you think she'll talk?" "I clearly have no idea who Jen K is, let alone what she'll do." "I just know he must be devastated." "The dean?" "Rusty." "I've left him a bunch of messages." "You know what you need?" "Little bit of perspective." "Like the kind you get on top of a ski run in Aspen, and you got your ski gear all packed?" "No." "I may just show up with a nightie and my toothbrush and stay in bed all week." "Works for me." "Ash!" "Be right out." "Room looks great." "It's, uh, very seductive." "What do you think?" "Oh, wow." "My eyeballs were not prepared for your hotness." "You make me feel beautiful, Calvin." "You know, Travis won the girlfriend lottery." "Speaking of, when's the guy getting here?" "That would be never." "He's not coming." "Did he cancel on you again?" "Uh, no, this time, I cancelled." "Our relationship." "What happened?" "You happened." "Oh, whoa, I'm gay." "Uh, what do you..." "What do you mean by "gay"?" "Look, I've been meaning to tell you for weeks." "But wait a second, you've known for weeks?" "Uh, well, I've known since elementary school." "But we've been hanging out for months." "I shared my secrets, and I just threw myself at you." "Well, I was flattered, but..." "And you know about my summer at cheerleading camp!" "That secret is definitely bi-curious." "You couldn't have brought it up then?" "Look, Ash, let me just tell..." "Just wait, let me explain!" "Rebecca, I hope you understand that I never really doubted you for a second." "It was just all so..." "Oh, Frannie." "I totally understand." "Can I have a word?" "Okay, our ZBZ rep is two minutes out." "I just want to be sure we're all on the same page before she arrives." "Our official position is that the article is an offensive work of fiction." "Remember, we're all shocked and outraged." "And if that doesn't work, we go Regan." "Can't remember anything." "I'm not sure that's the best way to handle this." "Then it's a good thing you're not handling it." "Nobody is to be alone with the national rep except me." "Shadow your little sisters, travel in pairs." "If I find any one of you..." "Welcome, sister." "I'm Frannie Morgan, chapter president, we spoke on the phone." "And I'm Tegan Walker, and I'm parched." "Could I get a water?" " Of course." "Um, first of all, i'd like to introduce our entire sisterhood, we are the finest group of women..." "Well, if that was the case, then I'm not sure what i'd be doing here, right?" "Sit." "We have a senator's daughter." "Rebecca, come, come." "Girls, we're very unhappy." "This whole situation is just so..." "Icky and gross and makes you all look awful, which makes us look awful, and we hate to look awful." "So we need to get to the bottom of this." "I'm so sorry you came all this way, Tegan, when the answer is simple." "We're guilty." "Guilty..." "Of not seeing the signs of mental instability." "Sure, Jen K seemed a bit off when we first met her, but she was a legacy." "And here at CRU, we open our arms wide to the daughters of our Zeta Beta ancestors, no matter what shape or size they are." "I mean, just..." "Just ask Tanya." "I'll be speaking to the girls individually." "It's the quickest way to determine what transpired." "Because if we can't get to the truth and find a remedy, well," "I have been authorized to pull your charter." "Oh, no." "It must be flat, French, and in a bottle." "What are you doing here?" "You wouldn't return my calls." "What was I supposed to do?" "Casey!" "Oh, hi, Dale." "Are those my glasses?" "I haven't seen those since The Bible Bunch show." "What?" "No, wh..." "Why would I have a piece of Casey Cartwright's librarian costume?" "Outrageous." "Look at the time..." "I should..." "I should probably, uh, take my shower." "Do I need to worry about him?" "I don't think so." "What about you?" "How are you doing?" "Your first breakup is a killer." "I remember when me and Gary Wallace broke up in ninth grade, ugh." "I ate an entire sheet cake." "I haven't decided if I'm gonna break up with Jen." "Rusty, she betrayed you, and your friends, and me." "You..." "How can you even consider staying with her?" "Because I love her." "How is what Jen did any different than what Evan did?" "She didn't just do it to you." "She did it to all of us." "You have to dump her." "She's a liar..." "And Evan was a cheater." "But you looked past it." "The world isn't black and white, remember?" "People make mistakes." "And it sounds like you're about to make a big one." "Well, it's mine to make." "Have fun sitting at home with mom and dad." "Have fun skiing with Evan!" "Ivy..." "How much interaction did you have with Jennifer during rush?" "They barely spoke, because Ivy hated Jen K's crazy eyes." "Frannie, could you get me another?" "That would be so awesome." "Thanks!" "Okay." "But don't you dare start that chinese water torture without me!" "Kidding." "Everyone's so serious." "That Ivy is a top-notch liar." "Makes me wonder if she really made out with Justin Timberlake's cousin." "Frannie, I think we should come clean." "This woman knows something's up." "We need to take responsibility and deal with it." "Okay." "My plan is working like a charm, so you can cancel this drama club meeting." "There are 50 girls in this house, sorority girls." "We're not poster people for keeping secrets." "You can't control everyone." "Remember the Casey who was dependable and willing to follow orders?" "I liked that Casey." "This Casey is weak and kinda lame." "I'm just saying you're risking everything." "I'm the decider." "I decide it..." "It's done." "If there are leaks, then I will plug them." "Perhaps with the body of a sacrificed sister." "But who, pray tell..." "Maybe someone who's in charge of the pledges." "Someone whose brother dated the little spy whore." "Maybe even someone who was featured in the article." "Let's hope it won't come to that." "She's delusional." "Like Britney Spears in a barbershop." "She can't see what's totally obvious." "Like when a guy smells good and loves Beyonc?" "." "Okay, you're hugging your pillow and not wearing earrings." "I broke up with Travis." "Oh, my god, that's fantastic..." "Ally sad." "Are you okay?" "It needed to happen." "But that's not why I'm upset." "Is it because you wasted so many years with him?" "No, but I'll add that to the list." "Which also includes recently throwing myself at a gay guy." "Oh, Ash, that's..." "So..." "Weird." "I didn't know he was gay." "And we spent all that time together, and he never told me." "Wow, Calvin's gay." "How did you guess?" "Well, he is your only friend of the male persuasion." "Ex-friend." " Ash..." "I made a fool of myself!" "Okay, hold on to your pillow." "I'm going to say something shocking." "Maybe this isn't about you." "He lied to me, he led me on." "This is the Greek system." "We're not always a beacon of tolerance." "Calvin's probably terrified of how people will react." "I bet his biggest fear is that his best friends will turn their backs on him." "You need your own talk show." "Yeah..." "If only I could solve this national problem so easily." "Frannie is dangerously close to getting this sorority shut down." "Well, what would you do if you were president?" "You know, I thought about that." "But it's kinda risky." "Ooh." "Like, deadly?" "Like, I could get kicked out for it." "I'm in." " Ash..." "Look, we're in this together." "If you go, I go." "And we can rent an apartment together off campus and talk trash about sorority girls." "Okay, here's what I'm thinking..." "If we get taken alone..." "We should give admissions tours." ""Welcome to college." ""The food sucks, the dorm rooms suck," ""the relationships suck!"" " The non-relationships suck." "You know, I expected Ash to be more open-minded." "You know?" "Especially given her fashion sense." "She might have been had you told her sooner." "Yeah." "Well, I guess I need to rethink my coming out strategy." "I" " I just wanted people to get to know the real me before I told 'em I was gay, you know?" "Ash did, and now she thinks the real me was a lie." "Mm, it's counterproductive." "Yeah, but you weren't exactly lying." "You just hadn't shared the truth with her yet." "In fact, I bet that's how Jen K feels." "How do you feel?" "I mean now that you know the truth, you think you can trust her?" "I'm seduced by your magnificence." "Tortured by your indifference." "My heart is a political prisoner enslaved in my chest!" "The missile looms." "It overlooks and fights the enemy it impales!" "Were you followed?" "You're kidding me, right?" "Why am I here?" "We needed a Greek-free zone." "Guantanamo!" "Listen, we don't have much time." "I need to tell you that everything in that article was true." "Sorry, I'm just so moved." "Guantanamo." "These girls are my sisters, my family." "Together, we've built the best sority on campus, the crown jewel of the CRU Greek system." "I know it looks bad." "Bad?" "Your ensemble looks bad." "This is a disaster." "But shutting us down would be devastating..." "To me, to my sisters, and also to Nationals." "Then why have I spent the day being lied to?" "There is leadership at the house who prefer manipulation over the truth." "I just want to save our sorority, and I have an exit strategy." "We'll make a sincere public apology." "And?" "And next semester, we'll double our philanthropy hours to set a better example." "We need more of a sacrifice." "Maybe we'll cut our social calendar." "In half?" "Better." "But this is a national scandal." "We have to show our other chapters and our alumni that we have zero tolerance for these activities." "Well, she was my pledge." "So for the house, I'm prepared to take..." "The fall." "And it is on those terms that we are willing to give this house a second chance." "After all, at Zeta Beta Zeta, we believe in forgiveness and redemption." "Okay, well, we'll make that work, won't we, girls?" "Oh, god, I'm so..." " I'm not finished." "We cannot afford to let something like this happen again." "That article exposed a serious lack of judgment." "And someone must be held accountable." "Therefore, I have decided that this chapter needs a regime change." "Frannie, I am removing you as president, effective immediately." "You..." "You can't be serious." "Oh, when it comes to Zeta Beta Zeta, I'm totally serious." "Everything this sorority has achieved is because of me." "I've made us the envy of every girl on campus." "Right, girls?" "Tell her." "Rebecca, tell her how crucial I am." "Sweetie, your devotion to the sisterhood has been a bit..." "Suspect." "I have selected an interim president..." "Someone with the integrity to lead this house through this difficult period until spring elections." "Casey Cartwright." "Me?" "Frannie, wait!" "Ladies." "Frannie, wait!" "Wait, I was just trying to save Zeta Beta." "I thought she was gonna kick me out." "I asked her to." "Here's my last tidbit of wisdom for you, mentee." "I created you." "Therefore, I can destroy you." "Everyone hates me." "My agoraphobic roommate left our room for the first time just to avoid me." "You should come in." "I just had to talk to someone, even if all they said was, "go away. "" "everyone else is acting like I'm on an airplane with TB." "What about your newspaper friends?" "They're all jealous, because I got a national byline." "I really thought I was doing the right thing." "Doing the right thing..." "Is usually the hardest thing to do." "I really love you, Rusty." "I loved you too." "Loved?" "Oh, sorry." "Give us a minute, Dale?" " No." "Dale, you can stay." "Jen's leaving." "Over there." "Oh, right." "Rusty, I really think you should give this a little more consideration." "Consideration?" "I wrote a lot of really good things..." "You are the last person to talk about consideration," "Jen, because I really wanna believe if you'd given us any consideration, you never would've written the article." "Rusty, I..." " No!" "No." "Good-bye." "I know you probably don't want to hear this..." "No, Dale, I-I don't." "I don't want to hear, "I told you so. "" "What is that?" "It's an inspirational poem." "It's about this guy who's walking along the beach, and he sees these footprints in the sand." "Dale..." "See, the beach represents his life." "And..." "I don't want to hurt you, Dale." "See, the times..." "Really the times that he only thought there were one set of footprints..." "Oh, excuse me." "Is Calvin Owens here?" "Let me check." "Hey, Owens!" "Your girlfriend's here!" "I just wanted to give this to him." "Aw, girlfriend brought him a present." "Okay, I mean seriously, mature yourself for a moment." "Uh, he's not my boyfriend." "We're just friends." "Hey, I see." "'Cause Calvin is gay." "Oh, my God, you guys know too?" "Um..." "Or not." "Uh, just tell him I stopped by." "Get in." "No, Cap, I can't." "I moved my flight up." "There's a cab coming." "I'm done." "Gimme my suitcase back." " I'll take you to the airport." "Put this on." "It's a blindfold." " What about the airport?" "Get in." "We should probably..." " Get in, pledge!" "Please tell me you didn't take me to Dobler's." "But I'd be lying." "Everyone here knows my girlfriend wrote the article." "They probably all hate me." "There is only one group of Greeks that matter, am I right, pledge?" " Cappie..." "And who is that group of Greeks?" " The Kappa Taus." "Do the Kappa Taus care what other people think about them?" "No." " And are you a Kappa Tau?" "Yes." " So what's the problem?" "Fine, I'll stay for a little bit, but we'll go directly to the airport." "Whatever you say, spitter." "First round's on me." "Hey, Jeannette." "Love your top." "Thank you." "I hate your sorority and everything you stand for." "Do you know who I am?" "Yes!" "Well, I have no idea who you are." "Leave." "Thanks." "Nobody talks like that to one of my sisters." "Oh, hold on." "M'lady." "Casey's on her way." "She's just waiting for Evan." "All hail the queen." "Well, it looks like you don't have to be" "Frannie's number two after all." "Please." "I'm nobody's number two." "Oh, sorry." "Ash, I'm so sorry..." " Calvin, I'm so sorry..." "Wait, why are you sorry?" " No, why are you sorry?" "No, just, look." "It wasn't that I..." "I didn't want to tell you." "I know, I just..." "It's okay, you don't have to explain." "I'm sorry that I handled it the way that I did." "No, don't be." "Look, I-I am the one who was wrong here." "Okay?" "I should've just trusted you." "I..." "I take it you haven't been by the house." "No, why?" "I..." "Might've possibly..." "Told them you're gay." "You what?" " Accidentally!" "I didn't get to that part yet." "Wait, so after you thought I spurned you, you accidentally outed me to my entire house?" "Okay, well, first of all, no one says "spurned. "" "And second, I'm sure if you just go and talk to..." " I can't believe you." "You know what?" "All those "I'm sorry"s?" "I take 'em all back." "Is that my little ski bunny?" "Ohh." " Got a carrot for me?" "Frannie." "What's up?" "Evan." "Evan, Evan, Evan." "Where shall I begin?" "Cute pic." "Uh..." "Where's Casey?" "I love Casey's eyes." "They're so big and innocent." "Like Bambi's." "Do you think you could look into them and tell when she's lying?" "All right, seriously, what are you doing here?" "Didn't you think it was a little weird that Casey stayed with you after the whole Rebecca Logan sexident?" "Not that it's any of your business, but we worked through that." "It made us stronger." "You are adorably naive." "Listen, Casey has had this whole thing scripted since day one." "She stayed with you not because you're Evan, but because you're Evan Chambers." "Having you on her arm makes her the "it" girl on campus." "It makes her powerful." "It assures her the Zeta Beta presidency." "How could you even think that?" "Because I'm the one who told her to do it." "To her credit, she wanted to dump you." "But I reminded her that doing so would have serious implications on her social standing." "I dangled the carrot of Zeta Beta president, and your little ski bunny ate it right up." "All right, you can leave now." "Just one more thing, Evan, because I'm sensing you're not 100% convinced." "Deep down in the..." "Chambers of your heart, do you truly believe Casey's over Cappie?" "'Cause I think she's still under him." "Have a great break." "I was just coming downstairs to meet you." "Nationals appointed me president of Zeta Beta." "So they removed Frannie?" "Yeah." "What, did you, like, plan that?" "Frannie was trying to stonewall them." "We were gonna get shut down, so I took matters into my own hands to save the house." "I never thought it would go this far." "No, right, of course you didn't." "I know, I feel super bad for her." "But I also feel like this is my chance to show to everyone what I have to offer." "Do you think it's wrong that I'm excited about it?" "I mean, it's hard to tell what's right and what's wrong anymore." "Uh..." "What do you mean?" "After I cheated on you, why'd you get back with me?" "Because..." "I love you." "Why are we talking about this?" "So it wasn't so you'd become sorority president, right?" "'Cause that's..." "Did Frannie come to you?" "Wow, so it is true." "No!" "Look..." "Frannie told me staying with you was in my best interest, but I didn't wanna break up, I was just hurt." "Really?" "What, and Cappie helped with that?" "I mean, it must have been nice to have a "get in his pants free" card, huh?" "Why are we talking about this now?" "We're past it." "So nothing's happened between the two of you since you "got even" with me?" "Tell the truth." "When we were working on our paper together, we kissed." "But it didn't go any further." "Wait..." "Look." "Evan, don't go!" "Look, I'm wearing your letters." "I'm planning forever with you." "I love you!" " No, you love you!" "You love what I can do for you!" "You know, you're ZBZ president now." "You don't need me anymore." "Hey, guys." "So I guess you heard I'm gay." "Don't worry, it's not contagious." "Does anyone wanna talk about it?" "Lemme tell you something, Beaver." "Women." "Women are like ions in a dense plasma." "Bustling along, snatching up unsuspecting electrons to make themselves complete." "But your brothers, we're electrons in a tenuous plasma." "Whoa." "Never tempting each other to recombine." "Just happily coexisting." "I love you, electron." "I think I'm..." "Drunk." "Where's my big electron?" "Gotta find him." "Gotta find him." "Electron!" "Electron!" "Electron!" "Cappie!" "Cappie, I just..." "I really wanted to say that I really..." "Oh, God." "Spitter?" " Shh..." "You're dreaming." "Go to sleep." "What's this?" "It's a break-up first aid kit." "Jagged Little Pill." "If I can't be there, Alanis can." "Ash..." "Mm." " We'll figure it out." "So..." "We took a little detour last night, huh?" "How you feeling?" "My eyeballs hurt." "I think something's growing on my tongue." "And I'm missing one sock." "You still need a ride to the airport?" "I'm just gonna take the bus." "See if I can get a flight on standby." " Listen, a funny little thing happened last night, and..." "What are you doing here?" "I missed my flight." "You?" "Long story." "You want a ride home?" "Ten hours." "I'll tell you everything." "Okay." "Listen, take care, spitter." "Remember next semester, whole new game." "And about last night..." "Next semester." "Take care, buddy." "And when the morning slowly fades to night, when all you had just falls apart and nothing seems to work out right, you're tryin'..." "You ready to get out of here?" "Let's go home." "And you're still all right.." "Yeah, you're still all right.." "Don't touch that."