"NARRATOR"." "Morning in Gotham City." "But a day that dawns brightly is no guarantee against darkening disaster." "Olga." "Olga." "Olga, wait for me." "Giddyap." "Giddyap." "Olga!" "It's the Cossacks again, sonny." "Yes, ma'am." "But this time, they turned down Market Street." "The only thing in that direction is the Gotham City Radium Center." "Radium Center?" "That sounds even more dangerous than trying to cross this street." " Cossacks." "Da, Cossacks, my little technicianski." "Where is hot stuff being kept?" ""Hot stuff"?" "I don't know what you mean." "Ossip, sharpen little technicianski's memory with sword." "Please, don't." "I don't understand." "What are you doing, Olga?" "Light of my life, my little future wife." "Forget rhymeski." "She's hiding hot stuff." "I don't know what she's talking about." ""Hot stuff" is Cossack translation for radium, my dear." "Well, why didn't she say so?" "Well, I am saying so." "Now, hand it over." "We want 2 pounds of it." "It's in the vault." "Well, then open it or I will let Ossip here egg-speriment with his technique on you." "Yes, sir." "It's in there." "Get it." "Is cool. ls not hot." " Is trick." "Oh, no." "No, no, Olga." "No." "This is merely the lead case." "The hot stuff is inside." "And it's plenty hot, I assure you." "Here, I'll take that." "Unh!" "Thank you." "Carry on." "Carry on, my Cossacks." "Commissioner Gordon." "What?" "Two pounds of radium?" "And you're sure it was the Cossacks?" "All right." "Thank you." "Not them Cossacks again, commissioner." "I'm afraid so, Chief O'Hara." "They've just stolen 2 pounds of radium from the Gotham City Radium Center." "Radium?" "What for?" "That's a question I intend to put to the Caped Crusaders." "Right now." "The Batcomputer's none too frisky today, Batman." "Yes, it's possible a supply of radium somewhere in the city has been moved." "And as radio-sensitive as our machine is, it just possibly could be affected by that." "And it's lucky that you and Batgirl found us, Alfred." "Otherwise, Robin and Commissioner Gordon might not be too frisky, either." "Holy understatements, Batman." "We would've been in the soup for good." "Yes, commissioner." "Olga and Egghead have just stolen 2 pounds of radium, Batman." "From the Gotham City Radium Center?" "Yes." "Not 10 minutes ago." "The radium there is type number six, isotype 14 worth about $500 an ounce, commissioner." "The entire theft amounts to only $16,000.." "...far below the usual scale of an Olga-Egghead caper." "That's what worries me." "I'm afraid this is only the first step in a much larger crime." "We'll come right down." "Let's go, Robin." "What possible purpose could Olga and Egghead have for 2 pounds of radium, Batman?" " I don't know, commissioner." "What about the water supply, Batman?" "Right." "Oh, that's a favorite trick of Gotham City's arch-criminals, Boy Wonder." "No, it would take at least 200 pounds of radium to affect the city's water system, Chief O'Hara." "Perhaps they plan to construct some sort of a diabolical weapon." "No, the quantity they've stolen is hardly enough to construct a weapon of any size, Commissioner Gordon." "Holy anagrams, what's the answer?" "I feel it won't be long until they themselves provide us with a clue, Robin." "Oh, I hope you're right, Batman." "Oh, I can just feel them radioactive gammas and betas crawling up on me right now." "Ugh." "NARRATOR"." "And in the Gotham City Library, Barbara Gordon has a weighty problem." "Unh!" "Talk about heavy reading, Barbara." "This thing must weigh 10 pounds." "It's a rare book on paleontology, Petula." "Professor Dactyl wanted me to bring it to his office at Gotham City Museum of Natural History." "You certainly know the ins and outs of this library, Barbara." "I didn't even know we had this book." "Well, paleontology used to be a hobby of mine." "I'll take this to the professor and come right back." " I shouldn't be gone more than half an hour." "All right." "Oh, hello, Miss Gordon." "I see you've brought my book." " Thank you, my dear." "Don't mention it, professor." "That's a very interesting fossil egg." "Yes, a very interesting specimen." "One of the very few intact fossil eggs of that era." " Aren't you afraid someone will steal it?" "Steal it?" "Well, who would want to steal it, my dear?" "Well, there's a certain arch-criminal who has a well-known penchant for stealing anything even remotely connected with eggs." "But it has no commercial value." "An interesting scientific curio, but hardly worth anything." "Except to the paleontologist." "Perhaps you'd like to see one of our newest acquisitions." "The fossilized thigh bone of a female giant saber-toothed tiger from Outer Sverdlovia." "Which is just outside Outer Mongolia." " I can't wait." "Come along." "Was hot behind fossil." "Yes, was also enlightening, Olga." "Heh, heh." "Enlightening?" "What means "enlightening," Eggski?" "Instructive, informative, my dear." "That young lady with the professor thought that I might steal the only egg-sisting Neosaurus egg in the Western world." "Heh, heh." "Forty-million years old." "Is probably stale, Eggski, after 40 million years." "Why bother to take it?" "You just leave the thinking to me, Olga." "And me?" "You just look beautiful, my dear." "Naughty Eggski." "Sometimes you are such gallant." "So now let's dispense with the flattery and commence with the job, shall we?" "But why on earth would anyone want to steal a Neosaurus egg, Barbara?" "I don't know, Daddy, but it's gone." "And I'm sure Egghead's the one who took it." "I agree with you there, but why?" "Has he stolen anything else today?" "Well, as a matter of fact, yes, he has." "He stole 2 pounds of radium from the Gotham City Radium Center not more than an hour ago." "By the way, Barbara, this information is off the record, of course." "I understand, Daddy." "Thank you for reporting this, darling." "And assure Professor Dactyl that we will make every effort to get his egg back for him." "Bye." "Why on earth would anyone want to steal a Neosaurus egg, commissioner?" "That seems to be the question of the day, Chief O'Hara." " Do you have an answer, Batman?" "Unfortunately, no." "But I'm sure this theft is connected with his earlier theft of the radium." "But how, Batman?" "I think a little session with the Batcomputer will give us a clue." "We'll be in touch, commissioner." "Let's go, Robin." "Think they can crack it, commissioner?" "If they can't, who can?" "Sure and that's the truth." "I'm afraid we're not going to get much help from the Batcomputer, Robin." "It can't go back to prehistoric times." "This is a problem for good old-fashioned brain power." "We'll have to think it out." "NARRATOR"." "While Batman and Robin puzzle over the problem in the Batcave another mind works on the same problem at the Gotham City Library." "Robin, do you remember a Professor Willis Grimes?" "That radiologist who stayed at Wayne Manor about six months ago?" "Yes." "He was here for a convention." "And at the same time, he was working on a new technique of irradiation." "I remember something about it, but it was pretty technical stuff." "I didn't understand much of it." "Yes, it was complex, but I think..." "I think it may be the clue we're looking for." " Can you get in touch with him?" "Unfortunately, no." "Professor Grimes is out of the country right now." "But he did publish an article in the Southeastern Regional Journal of Applied Radiology." " Yes, sir?" "Alfred, can you locate the most recent issue of the Southeastern Journal of Applied Radiology?" "There should be an article in it by a Professor Willis Grimes." "Just a second, sir." "I'll see if I can find it." "That's it." "Professor Grimes." "Petula, does the library subscribe to the Southeastern Regional Journal of Applied Radiology?" "We don't get it anymore." "We had to cancel it last year when the city council cut our budget." "That's right, I forgot." "I've got to get hold of a copy of it." "Who in Gotham City would have it?" "The only person in Gotham City who subscribes to more periodicals than the public library is millionaire Bruce Wayne." "Excuse me, Barbara." "I have someone waiting for this copy of Robert Frost." "I've located it, sir." "What is the title of Professor Grimes' article?" "Just one second, sir." "Could you hold on?" "The other line is ringing." "Bruce Wayne residence." "Alfred, this is Barbara Gordon." "Does Bruce Wayne receive the Southeastern Regional Journal of Applied Radiology?" "Why, yes." "Yes, he does, Miss Gordon." "Oh, thank goodness." "There's an article in the latest issue of it written by a Professor Grimes." "Can you give me the title of that article?" "I believe I can." "Alfred, this is just between you and me." "Of course, Miss Gordon." "I have it here, sir." "I have it here, miss." "The title of the article is:" ""Revitalizing Fossil Forms By The Use of High-Energy Radioactive Energy Sources."" " Thank you, Alfred." "Thank you, Alfred." "You're welcome, sir, miss." "You think Egghead plans to revitalize that fossil egg and hatch it?" "Exactly, Robin." "But that's impossible." "You are going to hatch 40-million-year-old egg?" "It's impossible, Eggski." "That's what they told Fulton, Edison, and Casanova, Olga." "All we have to do is pour enough radiation into that egg, and I'm sure we can get it to hatch." "Of course, Grimes' theory hasn't been tested yet, but I'm sure it'll work." "Heh, heh." "And we will have real live Neosaurus." "Yes, our very own." "We'll control Gotham City and that ought to be enough dowry even for you, Olga." "And then finally, we can get married." "You hatch egg, I will hatch wedding." "Egg-scelent, Olga." "Egg-scelent." "And think what those Dynamic Dimwits will do when they are faced with my Neosaurus." "Did you know that the Neosaurus has 2562 teeth?" "Not counting wisdom teeth." "What is such a creature eating, Eggski?" "Well, I'm planning a three-course meal for it, yes." "Batman, Robin, and Batgirl." "And for dessert, Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara." " Marvelous." "Ha, ha, ha." "This Bat-geiger counter will not only pick up radiation, Robin but will tell us from which direction it's coming." "Now that we've adjusted it to react only to the radium source stolen by Egghead we should be able to track down his headquarters in nothing flat." " Why didn't we think of this before, Batman?" "Hm." "Hindsight is often better than foresight, old chum." "Let's go." "You are hearing anything, Eggski?" "Nothing yet." "We'll give it another dose." "I'm gonna keep zapping it until it hatches." " I'm getting a reading." "What direction?" " Northeast." "Very close." "Right." "Batgirl, how did you learn about the thefts?" "I have my own sources, Batman." "So I see." "And you decided on the same method of detection as we did." "My counter indicates the source of radiation is in that warehouse." "So does ours." "Well, I guess hindsight is often better than foresight." "I suggest we pay them a visit, unannounced." "I've always liked crashing parties." "You are swimming up blind alley, Eggski." " This is all waste of time." "What do you know about it, Olga?" "I'll tell you, I heard something stirring inside of this shell." " No kidding?" "Yes, a few more bursts and we'll hatch it." "Ha, ha." "Hatch this, Egghead." " Little red mal'chik and Batgirl." " No." "Bring her here." "All right, that's enough, Boy Wonder." "That was a slimy trick, you rotten egg." "Of course, Batgirl." "I have a patent on slimy tricks." "Wait a minute, Eggski." "Where is malen'kiy Batushka?" "Batman?" "He was probably too afraid of me to show up." "Only these foolhardy youngsters are impolitic enough to do that." "Does not sound like Batushka I know." "That's because you don't know him as well as I do, Olga." "At heart, he is a coward in the egg-streme." "Batman has more courage in his little finger than you have in your whole cowardly body, you" "Quiet, Wonder Midget, or I'll have you cut off permanently." "Now you all are about to witness one of my greatest triumphs." "Here." "You will observe a wonder of modern science." "One more burst of radiation and that egg will yield a 40-million-year-old Neosaurus." "A hungry Neosaurus, my little friends." "I hear it." "I hear it." "The Neosaurus is going to hatch." "Oh..." "Oh!" "Calm down now, little Neosaurus." "Calm down." "I'm your daddy." "I hatched you." "You wouldn't wanna hurt your daddy now, would you?" "I'm your daddy." "Olga and I are your friends." "Aren't we, Olga?" "Yes." "Eat those two." "They're young and tender." " Da, of course." "Yum, yum." "Lock the doors, Chief O'Hara." "Lock us in." "Begorra, I never thought I'd see the likes of him begging to be locked up." "Take it away." "If we attack it from different sides, Batgirl, we may be able to subdue it." "Though personally, I think it would rather eat peanut-butter sandwiches than Gothamites." "Peanut-butter sandwiches?" "That's right, Batgirl." "You know your Neosauruses well, Robin." "Peanut-butter sandwiches, it is." "What an ingenious trick, Batman." "Not so ingenious, Batgirl." "It's impossible to hatch an egg 40 million years old but Egghead didn't believe that." "So I used his disbelief against him." "But why, Batman?" "Too many Bessarovian Cossacks around here, Robin." "If I'd joined you in the fight, some of them might have been injured." "So I arranged for Chief O'Hara to have this building surrounded." "I used my costume to frighten them into surrendering en masse." "Boy, I'll say." "What about that burst of radiation that hit the egg when you were inside it?" "I was able to protect myself from the radiation by coating the inside of my costume with a thin lead shielding." "And now that Olga and Egghead are safely behind iron bars, Robin they should have plenty of time to study their paleontology." "She's gone again." "For once, Batman, let's follow her." "Well, Robin, with my head sticking out of this Neosaurus costume I might not appear like an ordinary run-of-the-mill crime-fighter." "You know who was inside that Neosaurus egg?" "Batman." " He sure turns up in some weird places." " Heh, heh." "But how did you know this?" "You can't keep a thing like that a secret, Bruce." "The whole town's talking about the Caped Crusaders' latest coup." "But how could Batman have gotten in a Neosaurus egg?" "Apparently, he hatched his own little plot, Chief O'Hara." "Daddy." "Pardon me." "Do have some of my birthday cake." "Hello?" "Skip Parker." "I'm out at Gotham Point, Barbara." "It looks like the surf's really gonna be up in the morning." "Is there any chance of joining me?" "Oh, I'd love to." "And I don't have to be at work at the library till noon." "Good." "We can catch some really wild combers out here." "Great." "Bye." "NARRATOR"." "But what else is up at Gotham Point besides the surf?" "What else is wild besides the combers?" "Not that heartless hodad, the Joker." " Trouble, Joker?" "Oh, none, Riptide." "With the aid of this little two-way hot-dog transmitter I shall shortly be king of the surf at Gotham Point." "Ha, ha, ha." "NARRATOR"." "Will he?" "Will this green-haired gremlin take over the world of surfing or will he wind up in the soup?" "There's only one way to find out." "Watch the next episode."