"Hello Kai." "So Kai, what are your plans for me?" "Or rather, what are your plans for the television, set that appears to contain me." " at present?" " I am transporting the television set that seems to contain you to the Earth's moon." "There I will release it on a trajectory that will ensure the television set's complete destruction in the high speed collision" " with the moon's surface." " And do you think" " that will be the end of me?" " I do not know." "Perhaps it will be the end of you." "Or perhaps you will be trapped on the moon." "Either outcome is satisfactory." "Well I'm not as easy to get rid of as that." "Before you killed me," "I recall you promising to continue our little game of chess." "You said that on your planet the truly committed had learned to play after death." "Well, you and I are both dead, and I want to pick up the game." "Kai!" "Well, have you crashed Prince and his television view screen into a thousand million pieces on that moon yet?" " No." " Why not?" "Before I killed Prince's body I promised to complete a game of chess with him." "No no no no no!" "Kai, listen to me!" "Prince is evil and he is trouble." "He's just got some tricky business up his sleeves you should have nothing to do with it." "Look, just crash him onto the moon as quick as you can and come straight back to the Lexx, just so we can get away from this, this - stupid terrible planet!" "Right Kai, for once I totally agree with Stan." "Just crash Prince onto the moon and get back to the Lexx as fast as you can." "And I want you back in my arms right away too." "Stan and Xev want me to forgo the game of chess and crash you into the moon without further delay." "And right that they should want that!" "But don't you want to continue" " the game of chess?" " I am dead." "I do not have wants." "I am also dead, and I do have wants." "I want to play a game of chess, with you, and you gave your word that we would." "I gave Prince my word that I would play the game." "Kai!" "Kai just listen to me, OK?" "Prince is the evillest person who ever lived." "His word means nothing, so your word to him shouldn't mean anything either." "Kai, crash him onto the moon and get back to the Lexx, now." "We will not be able to continue the game." "I'm evil, yet I keep my word." "You are not evil - how can you justify breaking yours?" "I do not want to break my word." "It is what Stan and Xev want me to do." "Don't you have any will of your own?" " No." " We could make a deal." "Play for stakes, for instance." "By many definitions, you could be described as being alive." "You move about, you act, you react, and yet at the same time you're actually dead." "Correct?" " Yes." " And what is it that makes you dead?" "You're dead because you've lost your conscious self, your spirit, your essence, whatever you want to call it." "Your body is a biological machine, doomed to wander the universe." "Not alive, and yet not fully dead." "Undead." "And... and your conscious being, your spiritual being, is also in limbo, unable to rest." "I can put these two parts of you back together, and allow you to complete your journey." "If you beat me at the game of chess" "I will give you this - as your prize." "And if I lose?" "Xev and Stan forfeit their lives to me." "Do you accept my terms?" " Yes." " Good." "Lexx 4.18 The Game" "Do not do this, Kai." " Please?" " I want to continue the game." "What do you mean, want?" "Kai, what's wrong with you?" "I thought the dead didn't have wants." " Just one." " And what's that?" "The dead want to be dead." "Xev, listen" " Kai is acting way too weird." "I think we should just turn around" " and go." " Without him?" "Well, if we have to!" "Listen, Kai - you get rid of Prince right now, or we are on our way out of this solar system forever and we will leave you behind." "Out of the question!" "We can leave you behind too 790, no problem" "Oh, well that's all right then." "Listen Kai, I'm serious." "You play your game with Prince and we are out of here." "Your leaving does not make any difference." " Why not?" " I agreed that if I lose the game, you will forfeit your lives to Prince." "You what?" "!" "How could you do this to us?" "I will not lose." "The game will be played in the Brunnen G way, in the Other Zone." "The Other Zone is another time and space from this one." "You will not be able to contact me, but you will be able to follow" " the progress of the game." " How?" "You will see." "Wish me luck." "No, Kai, no, just" " Kai!" "Good luck." " Where are we going?" " This solar system is in the darkest part of the Dark Zone." "It should have many - doorways, to the Other Zone." "I am looking for one." "What is this Other Zone?" "The Other Zone is an unstable partial universe." "And how do you find a doorway to it?" "I have the memories of the many great man I killed." "Some of them were knowledgeable in these matters." " What is it?" " There." "I can feel it." "We are close." "Look." "That's it, Xev." "We go, right now, we just leave Kai." "Kai said that leaving wouldn't make any difference - and he never lies." "Why is he doing this?" "!" "Why is he playing with our lives?" "He said that he wouldn't lose." "Yeah?" "Well what if he does?" "What happens to us?" "Shall we continue our previous game, or would you like to start a new one?" "As our previous game was not being played for stakes I believe we should start a new one." "Very well, I will allow you that." "But I must choose the colour." " Choose the colour." " I choose white." "White always moves first and therefore I have the advantage of course." "You see?" "I'm already ahead of you." "It does not matter, as I will defeat you." "Shall we begin?" "Boring opening move." "He is clearly going for control of the centre, which you of course will not let happen - will you Kai?" "Help me out here." "What exactly is going on in this game?" "The object of the game is to defeat or checkmate the enemy king, which in our case is Prince." "Ha!" "We're gonna defeat and checkmate you!" "You wish!" "I'm sorry, but I will not be defeated." "Prince is a far more experienced player than Kai, and will beat him - but not before having destroyed most of Kai's pieces, including you," " along the way." " How?" "You'll see." "Quite amusing when it happens." "You been a piece in this game before?" "Many times." "It's one of Prince's favourite ploys, to lure one of his enemies into a game that he cannot hope to win." "Many have tried, but he has never been defeated." "Kai is a Brunnen G warrior turned into a Divine Assassin." "He's designed to fight." "He'll defeat you." "But look!" "My prince is making his second move." "I'm sure it will be brilliant." "Yes - bring me right out into the centre, where I can slaughter the black pieces who dare to come out." "What an original move." "Your mighty" "Brunnen G warrior is exactly duplicating all our moves!" "What a clever strategy." "You do have a better plan than copying Prince's moves, don't ya Kai?" "So, do you have any understanding of the game of chess, or am I going to defeat you in a matter of a few moves?" "I do not have a deep understanding of chess, as I have only played one incomplete game with you." "But my brain was altered by bioscholars on the Cluster to deal efficiently with situations involving strategy and counterstrategy, such as this, so I will defeat you." "Hi guys." "I'm the White Queen." "I think I can go any direction that I want." "Bunny queen - you won't attack any of us, will you?" "You're a nice girl, aren't you?" "No, no" " I don't want to attack anybody - but I'm not exactly sure" "I can control what I do." "That's right Kai - send out your best troops." "That's a sensible strategy - but you are not doing it." "Look behind you - you've blocked your own queen from getting out, whereas our queen is well-positioned to inflict damage." "And we all know queens are the most dangerous pieces on the board." "Kai, let me out!" "I wanna do some damage to them!" "Ha!" "Two Stanley knights on the move!" "Better run for your lives, whiteys!" "That's a bold move." "Retreating before you even have to." "I'm only strengthening our centre." "Hey, white pawn!" "Yes, you." "You've just been sacrificed." "Yeah!" "What's a sacrifice?" "A sacrifice is when a player deliberately gives up one of his own pieces to gain another advantage." "For instance, Prince has clearly moved our pawn into this position, to seduce Kai into taking it." "But to take it would be to remove a critical black pawn from the centre, weakening Kai's defence." "So, my prince has made a most clever move." "If Kai takes the white pawn, he will lose control of the centre." "If he does not take it," "Prince will certainly take the black pawn and be one piece ahead, and established in a dangerously forward position." "Either choice is to Prince's advantage." "Kai, please let me out of here!" "I'm your most powerful piece, and I really wanna kick some white ass!" "Finally, some action!" "We just lost a pawn." "And you've just lost the game!" "And look " "I've got a straight line on the black pawn." "Hey black pawn - you are all alone out there, and you are as good as dead!" "All in all a very bad move," "Kai!" "I can't believe he fell for that so easily." "We're now in a very superior position." "I predict that he'll resign in a few moves." "You're down a piece and trying to put a positive spin on it." "Don't be ridiculous." "Prince chose to sacrifice his pawn in the hope that Kai would do precisely what he did." "The game is now very much to our advantage." "This game mirrors the larger game that you and I have been playing since we met," " don't you think?" " It does not mirror the larger game, it is the final battle." "If I lose, Stan and Xev forfeit their lives to you." "That's a very good outcome, for me." "Kai!" "You can see this, can't you?" "As a bishop," "I'd rather not be taken by a lowly pawn." "Let me take her!" "I'm tired of hanging back here." "Thank you Kai!" "Now that's what I call a cowardly move." "Your position is bad therefore you should have tried something bold." "In the game of chess you're either going forward or backward - it's much like a real war in that regard." "If you go backward you tend to lose." "To win, you must attack." "You, are not attacking." "Which means you're not winning." "You're coming second." "And there are only two players!" "We are not coming in second." "We're strengthening our position, right Kai?" "Finally, time for your blessing - from my axe!" "My hand!" "What's happening to my hand?" "!" "Oh no." "He's losing the game!" "I want my hand back!" "Come back here right now, just end the game!" "Another bold move from the Brunnen G warrior." "Your one pawn advantage is gone." "White controls the centre." "I'd say this game is over." "I'd have to agree." "Bunny queen?" " It looks bad for you." " Oh bad, worse than bad." "Black has lost the centre, it's time for Black to resign." "Resign!" "Resign!" "Resign!" "Resign!" "We don't have to resign, do we?" "No." "Our position does not appear to be advantageous, but as I am not threatened with checkmate and most of our pieces remain on the board, to resign now would be premature." "Well, you're full of confidence." "We are all just chess pieces in a continuum and can only think inside the box." "But I know that it is harder to defend than to attack." "However," "I am confident that Kai will choose the right moves for me." "Kai, start playing better," "I don't wanna lose!" "Kai will win, I know it." "Now, let's see what my master has up his sleeve." "Now that's a bold move." "It's an excellent move." "We are building the centre into a solid wall through which you will never pass." "We are over here!" "Woo hoo!" "What are you trying to do, retreat into the corner?" "Another bold move!" "It's sensible." "We are ahead." "Our defensive wall is built." "The game is about to get interesting." "For us, not for you." " We'll see about that." " Yes, you will." "Thank you Kai." "By finally castling you have allowed 790 out to crush the enemy!" "Envy our defence now, whiteys!" "Talk about bold." "That's the smartest move" "I've ever seen." "Wait and see before you pass judgement." "That's it - send 790 into battle, right down the centre." "We are really worried." "Just look at our centre!" "It's powerful and well-structured." "Your pieces are scattered about in each other's way, and are too far back from the action!" "Be action!" "Our position just gets stronger and stronger." "The game goes in our favour." "I am finally free to kill and destroy." "Our king is well protected." "White controls the centre, and Black has hardly advanced from where it began." "This game is definitely one-sided." "Resign!" "Resign!" "Resign!" "Resign!" "A barely supported pawn attack, on a well defended centre?" "We said resign, not commit suicide!" "That move reminds me of your personal history." "You lost your life leading a hopeless attack against a well defended enemy, did you not?" "Yes." "But this attack will allow me to recover that life." "To do that you will have to win the game." "And you are a very long way from doing that." "Why not?" "This is an excellent move." "I no longer need to fight." "All we have to do is wait for the black side to self-destruct, which is exactly what they're doing!" "Our centre is as strong as ever, and now one of your lone pawns dares to approach the board's halfway mark." "We tremble" " with fear!" " You should." " Why?" " Because Kai is playing our pieces, and he will not be defeated." "I like being a knight, especially in this game" "I like being a knight, especially in this game," "I like being a knight, I like being a knight!" "I like being a knight, especially in this game," "I like being a knight," "I like being a knight!" " Why?" " The knight is the most fun piece to play." "We can't go far, but we're the only ones who can jump over other pieces, and that makes us very dangerous on a crowded board, such as this one." "I don't think I've ever seen a game where the enemy just moves about in its own end so much." "They know they're going to lose - they're just prolonging the agony." "Another puny and pathetic attack by a single pawn." "But at least you're finally trying to venture down to my side of the board." "Thank you, Prince." "Make a space for me so I can destroy the black king." "Yes." "I enjoyed that." "Oo, I'm really nervous." "I'm being attacked by a pawn - and a truly bizarre and unsupported attack," "I might add." "An attack of the desperate." "Don't you agree, blackies?" "I certainly agree." "I thought you were ahead." "Yeah, I thought the game was all yours." "What a lame move." "Don't be ridiculous!" "We're ahead." "Exactly." "It's a bad move." "You should have taken our pawn." "He has made your pawn part of our defence." "A pawn cannot attack the piece directly in front of it, so he is now nicely blocked where he is." "I have nothing to worry about." "Bad move, bad move, bad move!" "It could be described as a cautious move, but not a bad one." "Good move, my prince!" "Some of the black moves have been OK, some have been bad but this is completely bizarre." "Your bishop has moved one space - weakening the centre and not threatening any white pieces in any serious way." "Have you run out of ideas?" "Or are you simply moving your pieces at random?" "Seriously, moves like this are a cause for concern   for you." " Kai!" "Kai, you do know how to play this game, don't ya?" "Are you gonna let us down?" "Are ya?" " Should I answer him?" " If you like." "But you must remember he's just a piece in a game." "You're the player." "He may have opinions, but he does not have ideas." "I will not let you down." "Yay!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Kai!" "Brilliant move!" " Genius!" " Well planned." " Neato!" " My prince is an excellent chess player." "Look what he has done." "If your knight doesn't take our pawn he will be sacrificed for nothing!" "And if he does take our pawn " "I will crush him, and the way will be open for me to crush your king too." "Stupid." "Absurd." "Silly." "Surely it is some mistake, and you intended to advance another piece!" "But what can I say?" "I'm the victim of a desperate attack by a desperate player, who thinks " "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!" "My prince didn't have to think long to make this move." "It's payback time!" "This game is finally starting to get bloody - and that's the way I like it!" "Contend with me now!" "This is going to feel so good." "It shouldn't." "Because it is so stupid," " don't you agree?" " Yes!" "I mean, I know" "I am an important piece, but the rook is more important, particularly in the later stages of the game." "And by attacking me," "Black is guaranteed to lose" " its rook." " Who cares?" "!" "It's all worth it just for the feeling" "I'm about to get." "At least I get the satisfaction of knowing that you are next." "Hello - and goodbye." "Yea ha!" "Here I come." "Hello, Bunny queen." "Are you trying to kill me," "Stanley knight?" "In fact, I am." "That makes me mad." "And you won't like me when I'm mad." "So maybe I'm going to have to kill you." "Just kidding, Bunny queen." "Can't we still be friends?" "Hmm - no." "Hmm." "Then I'm gonna have to kill one of your men." "What was that you were saying about the game going your way?" "I think you should apologise to Kai now." "Never!" "I never did like you guys." "Oh, that feels good." "The violence!" "Ah, the violence!" "Let's see where things stand now." "We have one more pawn on the board than you, and one more minor piece." "For the moment!" "Our pawn will take your" "Stanley knight" " on the next move." " You mean me?" " Yes I mean you." " You're history." "Goodbye!" "And we have two rooks compared to your one, and you know how dangerous two rooks can be, once the board has started to clear out." "As we will soon see demonstrated." "And let's compare the position of the black king to me." "He is threatened by my queen and my two rooks, and all that he has deployed against me is one short-hopping" "Stanley Tweedle knight and a blocked pawn!" "Watch your tongue there," "Prince king, my mace has your name on it." "Tweedle-deedle, face reality." "We are important pieces when the board is crowded, but this board is no longer crowded." "So, have a rest, take a pill, and enjoy the action from the sidelines." "Don't underestimate me." " My head is itchy." " Then scratch it." "Funny." "Xev, help me out?" "I can't move." "Come." " Where does it itch?" " Yeah." " There?" " There, near the back, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, OK, OK, OK." "Shall we say goodbye now?" "I don't wanna say goodbye." "He didn't take me, he didn't take me!" "What are you, a retard?" "!" "I thought Prince knew how to play this game." "He does - very well." "He could have taken you, Stanley knight, but instead of doing that obvious and simple move he is sending our rooks in to kill your king and end the game." "Yes!" "We make a great team." "What was that you were saying about knights not being that useful on a crowded board?" "Check, I believe I am supposed to say, as your king is threatened by my knight." "How does it feel now, big boy?" "All part of the plan." "All part of the plan." "Being a big fat king attacked by a lowly knight." "Mildly threatening, I'll admit - but only mildly." "The game is ours!" "Don't be ridiculous." "He should have attacked us with his king instead of retreating into the corner." "It's going to cost you the game." "I suspect that he has moved me into this corner to get me out of the way, so that he can concentrate on his game ending attack against your king!" "After all, you can't put me in check here." " For a while!" " Precisely - by which time the game will be over." "And you will have lost!" "I don't like you being there." "I do not like you." "Check!" "You don't have to think about it." "There is only one place you can move." "Into the corner." "There are now no pieces left to protect you from me, the other Divine Shadow rook, and the white queen." "I'd say you were in a spot of trouble." "I think Prince is a really really good chess player!" "When you are defeated, will you deliver on your promise?" "If you defeat me, I will - but you will not defeat me." "I will defeat you." "How will you deliver on your promise?" "The world of the living was never really a very good fit for me." "Everyone else was alive," "I was not." "I never really understood how things worked." "But in a universe like this" "I know exactly who I am, and exactly what I can do." "I can bring you back to life, so that you can have a proper death, and find the rest that you want." "But - you'll have to beat me to get that." "I will beat you." "Well it doesn't look like that at the moment, does it?" "Everything's becoming rather white." "Our two rooks are in line with our queen, and you are all alone in the corner." "I think you could say that it doesn't get much worse." "Why did you agree to play this game?" "I mean, looking at your predicament now, do you think it was a good idea?" "Sometimes the life essence of a Brunnen G who died made it to the Dream Zone, the time and space from where our consciousness derives." "It is where my life came from, and where I would like it to return, but it can never return there, until my body has properly died." "Aww." "That is so sad - for you!" "I have been sacrificed!" "Good luck to the rest of you." "Yes!" "Your piece advantage is now gone!" "And you're looking rather undefended over there in your corner, black king." "There's nothing between you and four of my white pieces." "But those four pieces are all in a line." "Are you sure that that is to your advantage?" "No, it isn't." "And hey, white king, we're here - for you!" "Well that's my point exactly!" "Here you are, weakly pecking away at me, while your own king is undefended against a strong attack!" "I will defend him." "I'm sorry - you're in the wrong place." "Once again, the game is nicely going our way." "The game cannot last long now." "Aren't you going to get killed if you go there?" "It's what they call a short career." "Cut off in the bloom of youth!" "Over before it began!" "I do my duty willingly." "I know that Kai has a good reason for my sacrifice, and he will win the game without me." "Your undefended king is under a powerful attack." "You have no advantage in pieces, and you're about to lose your queen." "I'd say the time has come to start weeping." "Check." "Are you ready to resign now?" "Are Stan and Xev mine?" " No." " But you will admit that I have the advantage?" "Many would consider you to." "Many?" "!" "Ha!" "All!" "Then make your move." "This is all so easy." "First, I will take your queen." "Kai will win somehow, I know it." "What happens if we disappear completely?" "I think that will only happen if" "Kai loses the game." "Yeah, but if he does lose it, what then?" "He won't lose." "Xev - look at us." "Ah, let us stop and savour the moment." "Yes." "Let us savour your mistake." "Ha!" "Wishful thinking." "We have now clearly entered the endgame, and the outcome is certain." "The only question remaining is which piece gets to be lucky enough to crush your head." "Vengeance is mine." "That's a bold and desperate move." "I served my purpose by killing your queen." "I accept my fate." "Check." "I'm really" " trembling." " You should be." "It's getting really crowded down here." "With our pieces." "And remember the object of the game is to kill the enemy king, not take the most pieces." "It's very difficult to win the game without a queen - and you don't have one." "It just doesn't work." " Usually." " But not always." "And especially not this time." "I willingly sacrifice myself for the great cause." "It is the most beautiful sacrifice of the game." "You shouldn't have taken our piece." "You're playing on the wrong team," "Bunny queen." "You're not going to kill me, are you, Stanley knight?" "Who was it that was just bragging about having a queen advantage?" "Did Prince just start feeling sorry for us and decide to give his queen away?" "Or has Kai been playing a bit better than you give him credit for?" "Or - did Prince become overconfident that he would win, and make a mistake?" "I remember once being under attack in a balloon where the only strategy available to me was to wait for the enemy to make a mistake - which, eventually happened." "That strategy sometimes works." "Usually it doesn't." "Do not assume that it will work this time." "Check." "Too bad you can only move one square at a time." "Check." "And now, the king defends himself!" "Hey!" "I'm back - and the board's wide open." "Who do you want me to kill?" " No-one." " Why?" "Because it's a sad, sad, sad, sad, sad," "sad day," " Bunny queen." " For you." "Checkmate." "The game is over." "I have won, you have lost." "So I have." "And now you must deliver on your promise." "What did you win?" "Prince promised to return life to my body, if I won." "And?" "Are you alive now?" "No." "Well the next time, you will listen to me." "Prince does not keep his promises!" "Maybe he will later " "I hope." "Ñóáòèòðû:" "Bankolya" "Mikl,Bars (ñèíõðîíèçàöèÿ è êîððåêòèðîâêà)"