"Oh my God!" "Jeff Woods?" "My man." "Yo-- straight up?" "No homo." "But I got love for the man." "This guy was the architect of comedy as we know it today." "Brilliant mind, comedic genius, quick-witted, improvisational skills, crowd work!" "He was the master of ceremonies." "He made other comics sit down and take note." "He was a comic's comic!" "Jeff Woods." "I mean beyond question, if you're talking about somebody who is the best, then I think that the name says it all." "I mean, you encompass comedy and performance and brilliance, and you take it and you shake it up and what you create is the expression that he was able to give to the world." "He's just so-- he's so funny!" "You" " I wanna..." "I actually wanna break him off somethin'!" "'Cause he's so funny." "I mean, I ain't it." "He's just that funny!" "He's that funny!" "I don't know what to give him!" "But some-- you know, some chubby pussy!" "Hey, man, listen," "Jeff Woods was GOAT." "That's what I used to call him:" "GOAT!" "Greatest Of All Time." "If you don't know what that mean." "Yeah." "What a shame what happened to Jeff Woods." "It's a damn shame." "Naw." "See, what had happened was" "From the first time I saw Jeff Woods" "I knew he was going to be a star." "Born on the Southside of Chicago in the early '70s," "Jeff displayed natural comic talent at a very young age." "He was the funniest child in the world." "He would-- he could stand-up in front of anybody and make jokes!" "Even when the family members would come over, or the members of the church." "He used to talk about me and my husband." " That got a little embarrassing." " That wasn't funny though." "No no." "Sometimes he used to tell too much!" " I didn't like that." " Now we didn't spare the rod, baby!" " We could beat his li'l ass." " Oh-- ohhh!" "We didn't have no problem with that!" "Can we say that on camera?" "Ass?" "No no no." "I don't know." "But anyway-- oooh, it just came to me." "Excuse me." "But anyway, um, no, he was-- he was somethin." "I always knew he was gonna be something." " We are so proud of him." " Yep." "Yes!" "Put that down, please." "Down, put it down." " Yeah, we're proud of him." "I'm" " I'm" " Put it down." " I'm proud of him." " Yes!" "Yeah, shit, I knew Jeff." "Yep." "Sho' did." "His ass-- he used to crack me up." "That motherfucker, he knew all the records!" "He knew Bill Cosby, Eddie Pryor!" "I mean-- that's not Eddie Pryor." "That's Eddie Murphy!" "Eddie Murphy." "Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor," "Bill Cosby." "I mean he would have us crackin' up!" "We'd be on the floor, and I be like "Damn, nigga, you are funny!"" "I knew he was gonna be a comedian 'cause that motherfucker had me rollin'." "And it's hard to make me laugh." "Oh yes, I remember Jeffrey Woods." "He sat in the third row, fourth seat from the back, but he spent more time standing in the corner and missing recess." "Jeffrey was an intelligent child, but he was always trying to be the class clown." "I think it was because he wanted the other children to like him." "Once he set fire to my wig by shining sunlight through a magnifying glass." "Little bastard!" "See this hole in the chalkboard?" "Jeffrey Woods!" "After growing into young adulthood," "Jeff started to make his rounds at the open mikes in the local comedy clubs." "Jeff quickly became the hottest name on the Chicago comedy scene." "I just smoke these-- 'cause it helps me cut down on my coughing, see?" "But anyway, Jeff Woods?" "Yeah, I know that motherfucker." "Known him a long time." "Taught him every goddamn thing he know!" "Every-fucking-thing." "You know that little bullshit saying he got?" "The one that-- "Naw." "See, what had happened was"-- the motherfucker stole that shit from me." "See, I used to say "What had happened was this."" "I'ma sue the motherfucker if I see him!" "And I'ma shoot him!" "You know what I'ma do?" "I'ma shoot him and then I'ma sue his ass!" "Like millions of dreamers from around the world," "Jeff came to the place of palm trees, sunny days and fame." "But the cutthroat stages of Los Angeles weren't showing him any love." "When Jeffrey Woods first started out, they used to flash the "time's up" light before a nigga could even finish saying his name." "After a while, his name started buzzing." ""Did you hear about this dude Jeff Woods?" "!"" ""Did you hear about this dude Jeff Woods?"" "And I'm like, "Man, who da fuck is Jeff Woods?"" "So then I caught his act one night." "Yeah, and the nigga was funny." "I mean he was all right." "Couldn't fuck with my act though." "Jeff started making memorable cameos in low budget straight-to-video comedies." "Naw." "See, what had happened was..." "See, I'm telling you, it was that" ""Naw." "See, what happened was" line that blew him up." "See, most comics don't know how to market themselves." "He had a franchise line." "Think about it." "It wasn't that funny." "I mean, but if you hear something enough times, it'll grow on you." "Now I got a franchise line and it's actually funny." ""Damn." "I'm sho' glad that wasn't me!"" "Maybe y'all didn't get it the first time." "Damn." "I'm sho glad that wasn't me!"" "Wasn't me!" "Wasn't me-- no?" "In what seemed like a short time," "Jeff became one of the hottest comics in town." "Having finally tasted success," "Jeff began to live the Hollywood life." "Hollywood life." " Don't stick me, man." " No, you got it." "Jeff Woods is my man, man." "Came out here from Chi-town, did his thing." "I remember he used to be broke." "We used to get coffee together." "You know what I'm saying?" "We didn't have two little pennies to do nothin'." "And then all of a sudden he blew up, made his little money, got to hanging around with the wrong folks!" "Now personally, me, I told him, man." "You know what I'm saying?" "If you get yo money, just still act like you broke!" "He went out there, hanging with the wrong folks." "White folks, that's who he was hanging with." "Hanging with them white folks, got the wrong drugs, and now he blew his little mind." "I told him that, man!" "You see, wh-- when-- when you're black, you can't do all them type of drugs, man!" "You gotta be like me." "Chill out, smoke your little weed, have a little drink, that's it!" "You get to doing them drugs-- white folks'll do anything." "You're gonna wake up buck naked in the bathtub with your kidney missing, your asshole wet and your mouth hurt." "Ohhh Jeff..." "Jeff and I would do all kinds of things." "Drugs, alcohol," "SEX-." "Whips, chains, asphyxiation." "You name it." "We was nasty." "But that was before I found the Lord." "I am now a Christian- born again, saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost." "Hallelujah!" "Talking about when I was on the road with him one time," "I got to see him-- ughh!" "I walk in the room, the door open." "I see him there-- he didn't know-- I'ma tell this story." "He was in there, had his underwear down, sticking 8-balls up his ass." "Yeah!" "Freak!" "Talking about it hit ya harder that way!" "I don't know what it did for him, but it scared the shit outta me." "As fast as Jeff's star was rising, it was falling." "Then it happened." "After spending months in the hospital and rehab," "Jeff has all but totally faded from the spotlight." "He was very reluctant to let us film a documentary about him, but after months of begging and stalking," "I finally convinced him that his story would be an inspiration to those coming behind him." "Yesterday he finally called and agreed to do the documentary." "But he made me promise that if he decides to do stand-up again," "I can't ever film his act." "Jeff is being released today." "We're on our way to pick him up now." "Yeah, I work for the post office, but let me tell you what make me mad." "What make me mad is people always assume just 'cause you work at the post office that you're gonna lose your mind and go off sometime!" "I never go off!" "I never tell people that I'ma kill 'em!" "Or run 'em down there!" "Guess what?" "Your mail ain't coming!" "No mail for your ass!" "Ha ha!" "Jeff was one of the first guys I met when I got to LA." "We met at like at an open mike or something, you know." "We clicked right away." "We clicked." "It was crazy." "Before I knew it, we were tighter than Preach and Cochise." "We played the circuit, all that stuff, man." "But the thing is he was actually funny." "I wasn't." "And then she said, "it's wet"?" "Hubie, take your arms off the table!" "See, Jeff and I were in the comedy trenches together." "And we always said when we blew up, we would keep it real-- with comedy and each other." "My Hubert loves comedy!" "He's been dreaming about being a comedian since I've known him." "And I told him, I want you to pursue your dreams, but you better take care of your responsibilities." "And he does!" "My Hubert always seems to know who and what is important to him." "Now Jeff on the other hand?" "Huh!" "Don't even ask me about him." "Mmmm." "After all that's happened, Hubert, why are you still Jeff's friend?" "I learned something about friendship a long time ago:" "Dealing with people is hard." "I mean they-- they fuck up." "They make mistakes." "They do some of the dumbest shit imaginable." "But you accept your friends for who they are-- good or bad!" "That's what real friendship is all about." "And that brother Jeff?" "He my friend." "Yeah." "My man." "I don't know what I would have done without Hubert." "He was the only one-- the only one to hold me down the entire time." "I don't even think they make friends like Hubert anymore." "Get in there, yes sir." "Get in there, boss." "How do you feel, Jeff?" "It feels good to just have a clear head, you know?" "Yo, you know he from Chicago like me" " Southside!" "Go way back." "And let me tell ya something else" "I understand his situation." "I'm an addict myself" " Michael Coylar." "I don't mind admitting it." "Crackhead." "Once you're an addict, you're always an addict." "So I know what it's like to get into recovery, how to bring yourself back." "Oh man!" "I was out there so bad." "I remember I was so high one night," "I broke into my own damn house!" "I ain't lying." "I was halfway out the door with the TV before I realized it was my damn place!" "So I know what the brother is going through, so I'm proud of him 'cause he's coming back, man." "He went into his li'l rehab thing, now he's coming on back and getting hisself together." "They gonna be glad to see you!" "Told y'all somebody is going to be staying with us!" " Uncle Jeff." " Uncle Jeff!" "When you're making money the way I was-- so much money, so fast?" "!" "You really think it's gonna keep coming like that forever." "Now I'm crashing with Hubert till I get back on my feet." "I admire Hubert, man." "I really really do." "Family-- that's what it's all about." "Man, if I could have my comedy tight, a wife, kids at home..." "I'd be the happiest dude on the planet." "Donna, this is the best food I had in a long time." "For real, for real." "Thank you." "Now Jeff was supposed to be my Hubert's best friend." "But after he blew up, he wasn't even returning Hubert's phone calls." "I guess he was out, too busy getting high." "Now he's all saved, sanctified and cleaned up." "Ha!" "Yeah right." "I told Hubert-- and I mean it" "Jeff's got three days in my house-- three days!" "I don't do crackheads around my kids." "Who are you writing to?" "Iris." "Oh, Iris?" "Now that was Jeff's girlfriend." "Cute little schoolteacher from Chicago." "She came out to LA with Jeff." "And while Jeff was trying to get noticed," "Iris took care of all the bills." "I mean she was really down for that brother." "I mean really!" "She was a soldier." "I started writing to Iris my first week in rehab." "I write her or mail her a letter every day." "She never responds." "I understand." "Ladies, there some drawbacks to messin' with these dudes on that Viagra." "I mean his penis is incredible, but his hip ain't no damn good." "You understand me?" "Hip be clicking." "Click click!" "Click click!" "Hip be clicking!" "And I tell you what, you don't wanna mess around and have no baby with no old penis like that." "You mess around and have a baby, baby come out seven or eight years old!" "Step out like, "Ah!" "Where my cigarettes at?" "God damn." "And where are my shoes?" "Where my clothes at?"" "I'm killing this bitch, ain't I?" "I'm terrified." "It's been so long" "I can't even remember the last time I actually did any stand-up." "You know what the worst part for me might be?" "The expectations." "'Cause I know whatever I say might not be enough, you know?" "Once I get in the club, it's like, everybody's like," ""Oh, girl, he outta rehab, girl." "Let's see how funny he is now, girl." "He ain't funny." "They were smokin'."" "You know, I-- you never know." "They wanna see you fall on your face." "That's kinda scary." "As a comic, you know, you like to think you can just walk into a comedy club at anytime and be the motherfucking man!" "Now I used to feel like that." "Now I don't know." "That's scary." "Hey, Joyce." "He got a lot of nerve showing his face around here." "That boy was nobody when Grant found him." "Grant put his heart and soul into guiding that boy." "Grant was gonna take him to the top!" "And then what'd he do?" "Like a nigga, he fucked it up!" "Piece of shit!" "Now?" "Okay." "Right to the camera-- okay." "Um, well." "You know, every-- every manager dreams of having that special client." "You know-- the one with a spark, with that touch of magic!" "And, uh, that's what I found in Jeff." "Man, there's a whole lot of stuff that I wanna tell Grant." "I wanna tell him I'm ready to get back- the right way." "I wanna tell him I'll do whatever it takes!" "I wanna tell him I know I can't do it without him." "And most importantly," "I wanna tell him I'm sorry." "Grant, don't believe this motherfucker!" "That nigga's crazy, Grant!" "Oh no." "Oh no, he gonna hit him." "Oh my God!" "Oh." "Oh!" "God damn it!" "I think it's particularly hard in this town when you've had a "fall from grace."" "Especially- and I'm gonna say it-- for a black actor, it's very difficult to get back." "You know, the pressure from the media, the fans, it's-." "Hmm, I don't know." "It's very difficult." "It's three times as hard as anybody else." "Four." "No." "It's six times as hard." "So I flushed that shit down the toilet just as the po-pos were comin' through the door." "Whoo hoo hoo hoo!" "Proud to say it" "I ain't smoke none of it!" "We love you, Marcus!" "I love y'all too." "Thank you for sharing that with us, Marcus." "Thanks for your strength and resilience." "Congratulations." "Cornelius!" "Would you like to share with us?" "Give us your latest testimony?" "Okay." "How about you, Jeff?" "Would you like to share?" "Oh, man." "I'm not gonna lie." "I think about getting high every day." "You know what I mean, Machete?" "They say once you're an addict, you're always an addict." "Which is not the most encouraging thing you ever heard!" "But to sum up my week..." "I'm lucky to be alive." "I used to do it all-- coke, "X," heroin." "But O.D.ing and damn near dying?" "That's a wake-up call like a mother." "It forces you to put things in perspective." "Best thing for me now is just to stay active." "What's the saying?" ""The idle mind is the devil's playground"?" "I believe that." "I really believe that." "It's best for me to just keep nurturing my mind and my spirit." "That's why I got back into church." "Man, I don't even speak Spanish." "Not a word-- maybe uno." "That's it." "But one night I was walking by and the spirit was just calling me." "I been going ever since." "Most of the time I don't understand a word that preacher saying" ""Okay, all right."" "But I feel what he's saying." "That's what's important." "It's like in a weird way he's speaking in tongues just to me, like only I can hear it." "I don't know." "I'm not here right now." "Please leave a message after the tone." "Hey, Iris." "This is Jeff." "Um," "I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd stop by." "Uh, if you got my letters, you know I'm outta rehab." "Um, I hope you got the letters, um." "It feels weird calling you Iris, babe." "Look, this is what I-- I just wanna say" "When I first started getting high... she asked me if I needed to get help." "I told her I had it under control, just now and then." "Classic okie-doke." "She hung around for a long time." "A lot longer than she should have." "All right, y'all." "Y'all ready for your next comic?" "Make some noise?" "All right, y'all know how we do it." "We like to give some love to the young comics in the game." "So let's show some love to my man as he come to the stage from Gary, Indiana." "Let him hear it, y'all." "F.U." "F-you!" "F-you!" "F-you!" "F-you!" "F-you, nigga!" "Nigga trying to take my shine." "What's up, motherfuckers?" "!" "Naw, gimme some more energy!" "I mean, what's up, motherfuckers?" "Me and Jeff, we studied all of the old school comics." "I'm talking Carlin, Redd Foxx, Richard Pryor." "See, we wanted to have some substance to our comedy." "We didn't just wanna be willly-nillying our way through the comedy world." "So these young bucks nowadays, they kill me 'cause they-- they don't do nothing but cuss." "Every time I turn around there's a shit joke, a dick joke, a fuck-you motherfucker, shit, pussy, dick." "You can't-- you can't do that!" "That ain't comedy." "Shit, motherfuckers know, nigga, when when I get on the goddamn stage, I'm bringing that fucking realness." "You know what I'm sayin'?" "Niggas be like "That nigga coming to the stage, he bringing' that fucking real hard, nothing-but-God-damn- that funny shit!"" "That's all I do!" "I'm that nigga!" "You know what I'm sayin'?" "Motherfuckers look to me for the real shit." "They can't get it nowhere else." "I'm bringin' it." "I'm packaging this shit up." "It's what the fuck it is." "You know what I'm sayin." "Niggas don't understand, son." "They don't fuckin' understand!" "I'm F.U., bitch." "I'm F.U." "Shit." "Oh that's fucked up." "That's the light?" "Y'all gonna give a nigga the light?" "I'm up in here killin' this bitch." "Motherfucker started doing good, y'all wanna get a nigga offstage." "That's fucked up though." "You know what?" "Fuck y'all niggas!" "Y'all should be glad I was on this bitch in the first goddamn place, but before I walk off this motherfucker tonight," "I wanna know one thing!" "What bitch in here is fuckin' this nigga here?" "Huh?" "F-you, nigga." "F-you." "Oh yeah, and for anybody that's interested," "F.U. is also available for birthday parties and church gigs." "Enough of that!" "It's time to really kick this show into third, fourth, fifth gear." "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to give y'all a special treat tonight." "Coming to the stage- oh my God!" "We 'bout to hit y'all with somebody y'all already know, somebody y'all already love." "We about to go celebrity on you." "That's right." "A man who cut his teeth right here on this stage." "He been away for a minute, he coming back." "Ladies and gentlemen, start clapping right now." "Start clapping right now!" "Show some love for my man," "Mr. Jeff Woods!" "What up, LA?" "What's going on?" "You know what?" "It wasn't good, man." "That shit was-- it wasn't-- it wasn't about nothing, man." "I mean he saying the same old jokes he said two years ago." "I mean it's good to see him back out there, man, but, you know, talk about something new, you know?" "This dude up on stage that I came to see" "I thought he was funny 'cause I saw his old shit." "But he didn't do the Old shit I liked!" "What happened to the "Naw." "See, what had happened was"?" "He picked some old old shit like some Moms Mabley old shit." "I mean I like her, but this is fucked up!" "It's such a shame!" "You know that's what happens when you mess with those drugs." "I'm telling you, dog, Jeff is one of the funniest comedians out there right now!" "Don't get me wrong." "He messed up, you know what I'm saying." "This how funny-- this how funny he was to me" "C'mon, dog." "It wasn't that bad." "Okay, it was bad." "It was, it was." "But it's like-- it's like not working out in a while." "You know?" "You're just a little outta shape." "For me to watch him doing whatever that is on stage right now-- it-- it-- it just makes me weak." "It makes me wanna cry, you know?" "It's like watching your dad get his ass kicked." "You know what I mean?" "Like, this is the guy you look up to, all of a sudden now the neighbor is whooping his ass." "And you're like, "Daddy, what-- what happened?"" "Maybe it's time that you write some new material." "Hubert's right, man." "I gotta write some new material." "I'm coming back, I gotta come back different." "I'm done with that old shit." "I don't even wanna hear that shit no more." "Naw!" "See, what had happened was" "Guess who I just saw, bro." "Guess who I just saw!" "Like I said, I don't wanna hear that shit, all right?" "I'ma get me a pad and a pen like back in the day, write some new shit." "It's gonna be funny." "Okay." "Love you too." "Bye." "Well." "Ahem." "Somebody has an audition tomorrow for a cameo role on that new hit show "Baby Mama's House."" "What?" "Why the long face?" "This is a cameo on a hit show!" "I'd say that's a pretty good start." "I don't know, Grant." "I mean I knew we were starting all over again and I knew it was gonna be harder than before, but-- damn!" "You know, when this guy first came into my office, he had an energy that could not be denied!" "He had drive." "He had purpose." "He knew what he wanted!" "Hey!" "Has anybody ever told you you look like Jeff Woods, you handsome devil you?" "Now come on." "Let's hear it." "Come on, say it!" "Say it!" " Don't make me beg." " Naw." "See, what had happened was" "Oh, I knew it." "I knew it!" "Joyce, he said it." "You owe me lunch." "Okay, now look look, Jeffrey!" "Listen up." "I want you to go there tomorrow and I want you to nail it!" "Okay?" "Okay!" "I got you." "I'ma kill this audition, dog." "See there." "This nigga sucks." "Look at them cheap bargain-basement shoes he got on." " Trash, dog." "And word on the street, he's still smoking." "I don't think there is any other job where you experience as much hate as stand-up comedy." "Y'all think we're like the Kappas or some shit, it's one big fraternity." "It's not!" "It's all jealousy, hate and envy." "Fuckin' crazy, man." "Larry Laughs, what's up, baby?" "What's up, baby?" "What's up, dog?" "Good set the other night about yo mama and stuff." "Check out Jeff over there, trying to steal our shine." "Yo, Jeff!" "Jeff, what's up, man?" " How's it going, bro?" " Larry!" "Larry Laughs!" "I'm a comic too." "Oh!" "Nice to meet you, man." "What they filming you for?" " Oh, it's a documentary." " Documentary, huh?" " Yeah." " That's pretty cool, man." "I'm surprised to see you here auditioning with us." "I thought you were big time." "Naw, man, I ain't big time." "Not no more you ain't!" "You still messing around with them drugs, man?" "Heard you used to get fucked up back in the day." "Hey, Larry, no disrespect, man, I just wanna focus on my sides, you know, so I can be prepared when I go in, if you don't mind." "Well, fuck you then, nigga!" "Fuck you and this damn documentary." "That's why you fell the fuck off!" "Fucking wannabe arrogant up in here." "Go back to open mike, motherfucker." "You guys, I need, um..." "Jeff Woods!" " No!" " Hey" " I was next." " Oh God, it's good to see you." " I been here like two hours." " What the fuck is this?" "Guys, stop stop!" "Stop!" "How did it go, Jeff?" "Fallen off!" "He's fallen off!" " Go back to your crib." " Okay, guys, settle down." "I need, um..." "Larry." "This from y'all?" "No." "It's from Iris." "I can't believe she still has this." ""Dear Jeff, every time you look at this little man," "I want you to remember that you are a very special person... who has others that believe in you." "Most importantly, always remember to believe in and love yourself." "Never forget who you are and what you can do." "Love lris."" "Oh man." "So, shit, I told the bitch "it ain't my fault you ain't cum," "So, shit, I told the bitch "it ain't my fault you ain't cum, 'cause I'm about to go." "You hear me, ho?"" "You get it?" "Shit, fuck y'all!" "Anyway, nigga, they gave me the light 'cause there some bitch-ass niggas in this club." "But before I walk off this motherfucker, my normal routine is to ask what bitch in this motherfucker is fuckin' this nigga right here tonight?" "Huh?" "Talk to me in the back!" " There you go." " Fuck you, nigga." "All right, y'all, uh-- let's get back to real comedy." "Are you nervous, Jeff?" "It's like they say:" "if you're not nervous, then you're really in trouble." "All right, y'all." "Ladies and gentlemen, coming to the stage, my dog, my brother, my friend and yours." "Ladies and gentlemen, show some love for my man Mr. Jeff Woods!" "What up, LA?" "Oh, he was-- oh my God." "The thing with the bed sheets" "I just couldn't-- he was so funny!" "And the letters- oh, we felt so sorry for him, but I couldn't stop laughing." "Jeff was amazing tonight!" "I mean I don't know where he's been this last year." "He kinda disappeared off the face of the earth, but, I mean I'm glad he's back." "The joke about the Mexican pigs had me rolling!" "You know, I don't know Jeff personally, but I'm very proud of him." "Very inspirational." "And very funny!" "Whew!" "Hey, Jeff?" "Jeff Woods, is that you?" "Hey, brother, I love your work, man." "I love your work." " Thank you." " Naw, what had happened was!" "All right." "Is that her?" "Can you-- can you stop filming?" "Hey, give us a second, fellas." "Hustle some mo' Panama raw" "Name Malone breaks laws, I'm kinda hot dog" "Like stolen credit cards, hella flaws" "Chameleon dipped with the triple gloss" "Y'all niggas lost, my cup full of the sauce" "H2 move like old-school mob underboss" "Might stop row, my living room filled with my folks" "Watching "Afro Samurai"" "Getting high, high-definition screen 1080pi, c'mon" "5.3 Dolby Surround Sound" "How we get down, clown" "Brandish the pound, disperse the plastic" "They making love to the ground" "My vernacular spectacular, oh, watch the sack" "And if Opie be blowing, you know the five and town" "Pressed to bark with the muscles, though I must confess" "That getting caught with depression brings tons of stress" "At least the thing is, so get your dough, right?" "C'mon, hustle productions, why not?" "I keep my bitch..." "So this gen' be in the show, right?" "Oh yeah!" "Well, like I was saying," "I don't give a damn how famous he used to be." "Iris is with me now." "I didn't like the way he was looking at me when I came to pick her up the other day either." "He was looking like he wanna do something." "Now dat is really motherfuckin' funny." "We have got to start mingling!" "I don't even know anybody here, G!" "Look, you know how the game is played, Jeff." "If they don't know you, they can't hire you!" "We're not here to have fun, remember?" "We are here to work." "Work it, girl!" "Oh-- uh, Sergio!" "Hi!" "Grant" " Grant Flowers." " Oh, Grant Flower." "How are you?" " Hi." "40 and fabulous!" "How are you?" " Fine." " Somebody's been working out." "Oh listen!" "You remember Jeff Woods?" "Jeff, this is Sergio Weinberg," ""Movie Times" senior editor." "I mean senior." "Jeff Woods." "You know what?" "It's funny," "I thought you were dead." "Oh no!" "Oh, you are so funny." "No, actually Jeff is on the verge of a huge comeback!" "Kind of a phoenix rising from the ashes!" "Which I thought would make kind of an inspiring story for your magazine- kind of a Lifetime, kind of Oprah thing." "Sorry, but honestly, had he died, that would make a great story." "Bye!" " Oh please-- snap!" " Had I died, G." "Oh listen, please!" "I remember when he was the cabana boy at the Chateau Marmont." "Ignore him." "There's plenty of other people here." "Oh my God!" "That's Preston Stone." "Who the fuck is Preston Stone?" "!" "Only the most influential exec at ADO." "Somebody you should know, and more importantly somebody who should know you!" "Come on." "How's my breath?" " Go head, I'm following you!" " All right, come come come." "Excuse me." "Hi, Mr. Stone." "I'm Grant Flowers of Flowers Management." "We've actually met about five times." "Okay." "Yes yes, of course." " Of course!" "Great to see you." " Great to see you again." "Oh hey, listen, have you met my hottest client, the comic genius Jeff Woods?" " How are you, sir?" " Uh, Jeff Woods?" "Jeff Woods, aren't you the guy that used to say..." ""Yes, what I meant to say was"?" "No, actually it's "Naw." "See, what had happened--"" "Yeah okay, that's close enough." "That's amazing, that's amazing!" "I had no idea you were a fan." "I have to tell you, Preston-- can I call you Preston?" "That is a huge honor for us." "A real talent is hard to ignore." "You know, I couldn't agree more." "In fact, Jeff and I were just talking and we were saying it would be fabu-- uh uh, incredibly smart idea for him to have an ADO comedy special." "Oh, that might be a remote possibility." "Of course you'd need a few more credits to your name." " Oh well, yeah of course!" " A successful tour." " We're working on that actually." " A few memorable cameos" " in some big-budget stuff." " Wasn't I tell" "Breakout performance in some sleeper indie." " Absolutely." " You know, little things like that." " Absolutely right." " He needs some real buzz!" "Buzz buzz, right?" "Was I" " Yeah yeah." " Absolutely!" "You know what?" "You are so right." "And I'm gonna be buzzing around like crazy getting some buzz for you." "So when I do, this buzzy little bee is gonna come buzzing back to you and we can discuss business-- uh, "buzzness."" " Well, I'll look forward to that." " All right, great." " Nice talking to you." "Take care." " Take care." "Hey, how 'bout those Lakers, huh?" "Oh my God, was that fabulous or what?" "That was "or what," G!" "All right, I was a little over-the-top butch." "But listen, I am gonna get some buzz for you, okay?" "We're gonna get a lot of buzz!" " And then-- and then" " Buzz?" "We're" " ADO, it's like, "Here we come, ADO."" "They're gonna be our bitch." "He said buzzing, he said a tour!" "My act's not even together, G!" "That is why you have moi." "Smile." "Oh hell motherfuckin' no!" "Is that my nigga J to the E to the F to the motherfucking F?" "What's up, brother!" " What up, Rick?" " What's goin' on, brother?" " I'll just..." " Everything good, man." " How you doin'?" " Life is good, man." "Life is good." "I got my TV thing going here, I got my movie thing going there." "Man, they're even thinking about putting me in my own reality show!" "But you know what, man?" "Fuck all that shit." "What's up with you, man?" "Word on the street is you just got outta rehab." "What's up with that?" "Yeah yeah, you know." "Like they say, one day at a time." "I hear ya, I hear ya, brother." " Check this out:" "I'ma pray for ya." " Thank you." "But I need for you to pray for yourself too, brother." " Yes sir, yes sir." " 'Cause God is good!" "God is good." " All the time." " I know how the devil can be out in LA." " I know how it can be!" " Yeah." "Well, check this shit out, man." "On some real devilish shit?" "You wanna step back to the car with me and do a little bit of this?" "You with me?" "And the one night I was at, uh..." ""The Comedy Crib."" "And Grant has some network execs there to see me." "And I was tired." "I was just tired!" "And I just knew I was about to get up there and bomb in front of them people." "And this other comic" "I'm not gonna say his name." "It was like, "Yo, Jeff, try this shit right here, you gonna go up there and kill that shit!"" "I just knew that no drug could hook me, you know." "So I just" "Man, next thing you know..." "I was the funniest motherfucker on the planet." "I was the baddest motherfucker in the world." "I was the coolest motherfucker in the world, you know?" "Every time I got high after that," "I was trying to get back to that feeling." "I lost everything I had trying to get back to that feeling." "Everything" "Man, that's the holy grail of comedy!" "Uh-huh!" "You know all my success, I owe it to you, Hugh." "You were the one that kept encouraging me to get back on stage." "I'm not gonna forget that." "Pause it." "When I get my special," "I want you to be the opening act." "Man, you're bullshitting, man." "Naw, I'm serious, man." "You know how we do." "I appreciate that, dog, for real." " I love you, man." " Pick your shit up and let's finish this goddamn game!" "On the real?" "For real, between me and you, man?" "You don't owe me nothin'." "That's what friends do for each other." "You know what I'm saying?" " Yes sir." " They do stuff like help each other, put people on an ADO special, and whip their ass!" "Ugh!" "Touchdown, bitch!" "I knew I was about to bust your ass on that play!" " Mine's broken." " You see the motherfucker go up the sideline?" "Ass whooping'!" "Yeah, it's broke, just like this foot I broke in your ass." "You know Donna don't let me play at the house?" "We gonna have a footrace next." "I bet you I'll win that." "Oh, you gonna win that." "You're better than me in that." "Iris called me." "We're going to meet at a coffee shop." "You seem excited." " I am, man." " Oh snap!" "Naw." "See, what had happened was!" " What up, brother?" " All right!" "Hey look, I told her when we got there," "I wouldn't have cameras all up on her face." "So y'all gotta fall back just a little bit, all right?" "Cool!" "Feeling the way we thought" "We flow, just wanna let you know" "Wanna let you know" "Never thought I'd fall" "Never thought I'd fall, the magic of it all" "Mmmm" "Let's take it nice and slow" "Slow..." "She says she still has all my letters." "She broke it off with dude too." "That was cool." "She got everything off her chest." "She really let me have it." "She said she wasn't sure if she ever wanted to see me again." "So we'll see what happens." "Hello, Iris." "If you don't mind us asking, how do you feel about Jeff?" "That's a broad question." "I love Jeffrey." "We've known each other a long time." "We'll always be friends." "Do you believe that Jeff can make a comeback in his career?" "I believe that the only thing that can stop Jeffrey is Jeffrey." "Do you think that you could see Jeff again romantically?" "You know this is my stop." "Um, it was really nice talking to you guys." "Thank you." "Because of you" "I learned what love is" "You taught me how" "To give all that I am" "Stretched out your hands" "Told me don't fear" "Because you'll be there" "To help me through" "And now I've fallen" "Fallen in love with you" "With the woman of my dreams" "This day I give to you my heart" "I pledge my life to only you" "Only you" "Only you, only you"" "Will have my heart to the end of time" "Only you" "I dedicate my life to you" "And you alone, only you." "Man, I'm so happy right now and it's scary." "Damn, man!" "I dropped the ball, y'all." "The casting director asked me to improv some lines and I just froze!" "I don't know what the fuck happened, man!" "I just was-- shit!" "It's for that new sitcom too, "Before Obama."" "I fucking-- damn it!" "They were smiling when I left, but that don't mean shit." "Damn, I just thought I was getting it back together too, man." "This Grant right here." "Yeah, G." "Man, the casting director asked me to improv." "What?" "Get the fuck-- you serious?" "Yo, G, don't play with me!" "I got the part?" "I got the part!" "I got the part, baby!" "I got the part, yes!" "I got the part!" "Yes!" "Jeff Woods, boy!" "What you know!" "Jeff Woods!" "Come on now!" "I got the part!" "G, G, we back, baby!" "Are we back?" "Yes!" "I know I'm lactose intolerant, but this cheeseburger is worth the gas." "You gonna eat all that?" "Every last artery-clogging bite." "But don't worry," "Kenny will be here with your lunch soon." "Six lines and I stole the show." "Hey, dude, I see you got a real problem staying away from my woman." "Let her go, let her go..." "Come on, let's get closer." "Then you gotta let her go, let her go" " Let her go..." " All right, all right." "I got something for you, dude." "I got-- you-- you wait right there, dude." "You wait there." "Business as usual, buying you designer things..." "Yeah, what's up now, partner?" " Who's gonna mess with Luther now?" " He's got a gun!" "Looks like you're going to have to do a little time, Luther." " Are you afraid of prison?" " Man, hell no!" "I'm from the motherfucking streets!" "These fools in here can't handle me!" "I'm running shit!" "Yeah." "I want my mama!" "Tsk tsk tsk tsk." "What am I gonna do with you, hmm?" "You could have been hurt!" "You could have been... killed, okay?" "Now if you're not gonna think about yourself, think about me." "Okay, anyway, remember I told you I was going to buzz up a little buzz?" "Well, I wasn't "buzz-shitting."" "What are you talking about, Grant?" "Oh, guess who's going on tour?" " On tour?" "!" "For real?" " Mm-hmm." " For reals, for reals." " Yes, baby!" " How'd you pull off a tour?" " If I told you, I'd have to kill you." "Sit down." "The important thing is it's a tour!" "Yes!" "Okay, so where we going first?" "New York?" "Atlanta?" "Chicago, baby!" "Slow your roll, kemosabe." "Gotta learn how to crawl again before you can saunter." "Now you're starting off in Wet Beaver Creek, Mississippi." "Wet Beaver Creek, Mississippi?" "Mm-hmm." "Then let's see, Cotton Plant, Arkansas" "The Ha Ha Hut." "I heard it's good." "And then we're finishing up at Laughs and Farts in Sunrise, Louisiana." "That's the sweet potato capital." "I'm just saying." "Look what can I say, Jeffrey?" "It's the chitlin' circuit, but it's still a tour." "You're right." "It's still a tour." " That's the spirit." " It's still a tour!" " That's the spirit!" "Gimme" " Okay, so when am I leaving?" "Ow." "Oh well, lemme just-- come on." "Let me just cross the "I"s and dot the "T"s and then we can-- oh listen, we do need an opening act." "Do you have anybody in mind?" "Yeah, heh heh." "I can think of somebody." "How am I supposed to deliver mail and go on tour?" "You can't!" "That's why it's time to quit this." "Look, it's always been a dream of yours to go on tour, to be able to do stand-up full time, right?" "Well, here it is!" "Look, Jeff," "I appreciate the offer." "Man, I love you for the offer, but I got a family to support." "I'm talking food on the table, clothes on their backs." "As much as I want to, dude, I" " I can't see me leaving a good-paying job, benefits for my family to go on some chitlin' circuit tour where I don't know what's gonna happen." "I can't see it." "I don't know, I don't know." "Go Mommy!" "Go Mommy" "Uh-huh uh-huh!" "I'm outta this bitch" "I quit, I quit" "I'm outta this bitch." "Hey hey!" "Yeah yeah?" "How do you feel Hubert?" "I don't know how I feel." "I mean when you want something for so long, and then it's right here" "I mean it's real..." "I wish I could take Donna and the kids with me." "My son-- my son said he was proud of me." "I'm just really thankful right now, especially to my boy Jeff." "What can I do?" "What can I do?" "Since the boys have been on tour," "I've spent a lot of time with Iris." "I've always liked Iris." "She's a real sweetheart, you know?" "But I've often found myself feeling sorry for her." "I don't know how she does it." "I don't trust Jeff as far as I can throw him, and I can't throw Jeff from me to you." "I worry." "I worry a lot." "I worry about him relapsing on the road with my Hubert." "I trust Jeffrey." "He's worked really to get to where he is right now." "And I know that he won't do anything to jeopardize the second opportunity that he has." "HEY, guys." "Um... he said it's okay for y'all to come in, but he's going through a thing right now." "So just be cool." "I see you." "I love you, man." "Every step you take," "I'm with you." "You're not alone." "This is me and you on this ride." "Me and you on the world tour." "When they see you, they see me." "It's our time." "It's our time." "Damn!" "I fucking got high, man!" "I said I wasn't fuckin' with that shit no more!" "Then I fucking-- what the fuck is wrong with me, man?" "Damn, they say everybody relapses at least once." "That was my one and only fucking time!" "I ain't fucking with that shit no more." "I'm glad my brother Hubert was there to catch me before I fucking fell all the way off." "I told Hubert and I'm telling y'all, I don't nobody saying nothing to Iris." "The last thing I want is her worrying about me, man." "I'ma fuckin' get right." "My fuckin' head is on straight." "I'm back to business, man." "Fuck that." "Oh, he don't get high no more?" "Ha!" "We'll see." "We'll see how long that last 'cause he likes the stuff!" "I'm just sayin'." "I mean I-- hey!" "To each his own." " He could do his thing" " Ow." "But getting clean ain't one of his things." "In fact I wish he would call me back." "I do comedy too." "I'm kinda funny." "Ain't this funny, when I'm combing your hair?" " It's funny right?" " Ow." "Ha ha ha!" "I mean I wish you well, Jeff, but good luck, boo." "Did you really make enough money from the tour" " to buy this house?" " No." "But it was time to step it up." "It's good for morale." "Iris is moving in with me." "The way I see it, with her here," "I know I'll stay focused and clean." "She's a no-nonsense type of sister." "You know, where I'm silly, she's serious!" "Whoa-ho-ho-ho!" "God is good, baby!" "God is good!" "The comic that was supposed to be on "The Talk Show" tonight, he got strep throat, so Grant got me in." "I don't know how he did it, but he did it, man." "God is good!" "I'm gonna be on "The Talk Show" tonight!" "Oh shit!" "Whoa-- sorry!" "Sorry!" "I'm Jeff Woods." "I'm gonna be on "The Talk Show" tonight!" "I would have hit that bitch and kept going." "Fuck that." "That would have been my intro." ""He killed a bitch on the way here."" "Fuck that!" "I'm goin' to "Talk Show," baby!" "Let's do it!" "It's "The Talk Show,"" "with comic guest Jeff Woods." "It's, um-- it's scary." "I really" " I don't know how Jeffrey deals with it." "I mean 'cause having cameras in your face all of the time..." "I mean he says that he appreciates it." "And-- and he keeps me away from it for the most part, except for you guys, of course." "I'm really proud of Jeffrey." "'Cause he's really-- he's really staying grounded through all of this." "Stop." "My daughter sees my heart, you know what I'm saying?" "But my boys-- oh my God." "These two are just-- they're always fighting." "They're always damn fighting." "And that's the thing." "I don't mind their fighting, but I'm trying to figure out where it come from." "'Cause I don't fight like that, their Mama don't fight like that." "But I realized one day me and my wife, we were giving in." "Now it's time to bring a brother to the stage that has proven that no matter bad shit gets, you can always turn everything around." "Ladies and gentlemen, my hero, my brother, my friend." "Show some love for Mr. Jeff Woods, y'all." "Jeff Woods!" "Is he gonna watch this?" "'Cause, you know, if he is, I got a message for him." "Dude, get it together!" "Go back to rehab and go meditate!" "Figure out who you are," " 'cause this was some bullshit!" " It wasn't shit, okay?" "We wasn't happy." "The crowd was booing." "This shit-- the house was coming down." "It was not going on at all." "He was so high." "And believe me I know high when I see high." "Jeff, we fans, man, we love you, but that wasn't a good look, man." "I thought you go to rehab to get better." "You-- you got worse in everything- with the drugs, with your jokes." "God damn!" "I mean the funniest thing is when you walked off the stage!" "Jeff?" "He's gonna be okay." "He's under a lot of pressure right now." "And when you're under that type of pressure that's when it's hardest to leave that shit alone!" "But all we gotta do is show him a little more love." "Yeah." "Mmmm!" "He gonna be all right." "Yeah." "We love you, Jeff." "I love y'all too." "Thank you." "Thank you!" " Thank you so much for having me." " Hey, sweetie." "Thanks for coming out." "I appreciate it." " My man still." "What's up, homie?" " Yes sir, you know how it goes." " Come on now, come on!" " I'm sorry, can I just" "Not at all." "Not a problem at all, not a problem at all." " Can you get my heels?" " Make sure you get the shoes." "It's amazing, man." "Everybody's your fucking friend when shit's going good." "Everybody wanna work with you." "Phony motherfuckers!" " What up, man?" " You blowing' up since I seen you." " How you doing?" "Good to see you, man." " Good, dog." "Yes sir!" "You know it, you know it!" " Jeff Woods." " What's up, brother?" " Big fan of your work, dog." " Oh, thank you very much." "The name is Roosevelt Steele." " Okay." " Roosevelt Steele Management." " Roosevelt Steele Management." " I know you might have some representation, but our motto is" ""We'll kill a motherfucker for our client!"" "All right." "Understand?" "Up-and-coming superstar like yourself needs a real nigga representing him." "Ya understand?" "Well, I have a manager." "This is my manager Grant Flowers." "Grant Flowers, Roosevelt Steele;" "Roosevelt Steele, Grant Flowers." " Enchante." " Yeah, what's up?" "Oh my!" "Ha ha ha." " That's cool." "That's cool." " Word!" " Holla at your boy." " All right." " All right." " Be cool, brother." " Roosevelt Steele would kill..." " What was he wearing?" "...a motherfucker for a client." "The '80s called, they want their suit back." "You gotta always watch out for the sharks, man." "They're always swimming around your ass, talking about all the shit they gonna do for you." "Only thing they gonna do for you is bring you down!" "I got a little something for you." "Hey, y'all, I'ma catch up with y'all." "Jeff Woods is starting to do the same dumb shit he did before all over again." "This past weekend, he and I were presenters at the "Soul Awards."" "Jeff comes out on stage with a little white clump of cocaine on the tip of his nose." "On stage, cameras rolling, in front of an audience of hundreds of positive black people." "Coo-coo right there." "Coo-coo!" "Can you be honest with yourself, Jeffrey?" "I am being honest with myself!" "Are you?" "'Cause I" " I know that you're under a lot of pressure right now and I wanna support you and I wanna encourage you, but I can't go through that again, Jeffrey!" "Go through what?" "You know what I'm talking about!" "Don't try to play me like I'm a fool!" " Girl, you tripping!" " I am not tripping!" "Jeffrey, it's like the same thing all over again!" "Do you-- do you want this to happen again?" "Why do you keep sabotaging yourself, Jeffrey?" "Jeff Woods?" "Aw, no way, Jeff Woods!" "Hey, I'm a comic too, man." "I saw you" "I saw you way back in the day." "Ohh, Jeff Woods!" " Not right now, man." " What's up, man?" "What's up?" "I gotta take a picture with you real quick." " Real quick, I'm sorry." " No, now is not a-- excuse me!" " Excuse me!" "Now is not a good time." " This is Jeff Woods right here." "Look at me-- now is not-- now is not a good time!" " Jeffrey, move him now!" " Not right now!" "The only one that can stop Jeff is Jeff." "He's the only one that can stop him." "You know, and with the egos in Hollywood and the egos in the business that we're in-- there's a lot of laughter, there's a lot of ridicule and I know exactly how he feels." "Every time I get high, I tell myself this is the last time." "That shit wear off and then I'm... fucking tripped out!" "Yo, when I was a kid-- when I was a kid, me and my friends we would run... sun up to sundown." "I had a ball, man, some of the happiest times in my life!" "Man." "I damn sure didn't need it then." "I'm going to the support group tonight." "That'll solve everything!" "Yeah, we were really hoping to see Jeff tonight." "But, um, you know," "Jeff's not gonna get clean until he decides that he really wants to." "It's just that simple." "Maybe he needs to hit rock bottom again before he makes that decision, I don't know." "But whenever that is, we're here for him." "I was really hoping Jeff would make it tonight." "Just to give him a big hug." "I'm not gonna lie, we're pretty worried about him." "We all know how Jeff feels." "We've all been there before, you know what I'm saying?" "That's why you gotta stay in touch with people that want to stay sober." "Shit, that's why I keep coming to meetings, man." "Otherwise I'd be out there with Jeff." "And that wouldn't be no good." "I don't know where you are, Jeff, but we love you." "And I know you think the drugs love you, but they don't." "I don't believe this, I don't believe this!" "I don't believe this." "Where-- where the hell is he?" "He's supposed to be on stage- oh, right now!" "Right now is when he is supposed to be on stage." "I cannot believe this!" "I've got some very very important people in the crowd tonight." "Very very important!" "This is-- this is not-- this is not funny!" "It's not funny, Jeff, wherever you are." "It's not funny, Okay, I don't-- I don't think we actually need to-- to film this part, okay?" "This is about Jeff, not about-- not about me, okay?" "Uh, I-- do either of you guys have a-- have a-- have a-- have a Rolaid or something?" "Xanax?" "Anything?" "Oh God, oh God!" "I don't believe he's doing this to me again!" "I don't believe it!" "I was sick, Grant." "I was coughing and sneezing and shit." "Took some strong-ass medicine." "And that shit knocked me out, man." "Fuck, man," "I didn't even wake up till this morning, man." "I was gone." "Sick?" "Sick." "Trust me, Jeff, when I tell you you could not possibly have been one fraction as sick as I was last night." "I had Hollywood heavyweights there to see you." "I had the people from ADO there to see you, to see if you were good enough to have your own comedy special." "And you didn't show!" "I told you the medication knocked me out." "Oh right, yes." "I believe you were on medication, but it sure as hell wasn't Nyquil." "You promised, Jeff." "You promised me this would not happen again!" "I think you're very talented and I care about you." "L" " I really do." "But I refuse to let you do this to me again." "Now if you wanna destroy yourself, that is your choice, but I will not let you destroy me as well!" "Damn, is you my manager or my mama?" "If I say the medication knocked me out, that's what happened, God damn it!" "If you expect me to believe that, then you must be high-- oh, what am I saying?" "Of course you're high!" " Fuck you, man!" " No no, there is no need to fuck me." "You are doing a very good job of fucking yourself-- without protection!" "Yo, who the fuck you think you're talking to, Grant?" " Excuse me." " Who you think you talkin' to?" "!" " You know who I am?" " Now you're in my space." "You know who I am?" " Leave my office!" "Get out of my office!" " I'm Jeff Woods, motherfucker!" " I'm Jeff Woods, nigga!" " How dare you!" "No, stop stop!" "Okay, this is enough." "No, you hear me, I've had it-- stop!" "What's up, y'all?" "This your boy Roosevelt Steele hollering at ya." "Yeah." "You know what time it is." "Yeah, that's fucked up what happened with Grant, but that's Hollywood." "Sometimes you get to a point where you just don't see eye to eye no more." "I mean," "I got love for Grant, but we were just outgrowing each other, okay?" "That's why I like Roosevelt." "He picked up the ADO negotiations right where Grant left off." "And he ain't kissing ass like Grant was!" "Now we on some new shit!" "Now we on some gangster shit!" "This is an important time in my career- time for me to go to another level." "I'm about to come with some new shit." "Yeah, I'ma come up with some shit nobody was expecting!" "Sorry, fellas, we're gonna need some privacy." "I swear, man, I'm not messing with that stuff." "I need to just shut the fuck up." "I keep saying I'm not gonna do it, then I end up right back." "I need to start saying it, believing' it and doing it." "It seems like the intervention was a success." "Jeffrey's been doing so much better." "I just think that he needed to know that he was hurting more people than just himself." "Jeffrey has a really good heart and he just needed a little extra motivation." "Trust me, my nigga." "I know this motherfuckin' business like the back of my motherfuckin' hand, ya understand?" "And you know what you need?" "You need an openin' act!" "A motherfucker that's gonna get the crowd all charged up." "Get 'em ready for the main event," " which is you!" " Yeah." " Motherfuckin' Jeff Woods, baby!" " Yeah." "You need somebody that's gonna compliment your style, your caliber and your motherfuckin' finesse." "And of course, baby," "I got the best motherfuckin' nigga for ya!" " My nigga!" " Nigga, who else, nigga?" "Who else gonna fuckin' hold you down?" "Nigga, let's go out here and get this goddamn money!" "Fuck all dat dumb shit!" "You know what da fuck I'm sayin'?" "Me, you-- huh?" "And this motherfucker here?" "Shit." "Nigga!" " Yo, let's toast." " Fuck what you sayin." "To success, money," " and mo' bitches!" " More motherfuckin' bitches!" "Who can't use mo' bitches?" "Yeah, nigga!" "I know I can't." "F.U., nigga!" "So Iris is gone-- for real?" "That's what it seems like." "I don't know." "Maybe it's for the best, man, I don't know." "Man, for-- what?" "What is going on?" "I got a new manager." "A real manager!" "We're about to sign the deal for the special." "ADO?" "But you haven't been doing any stand-up, Jeff." "Like how do you expect to be sharp for an ADO special and you haven't been going up?" "Okay, forget that!" "Why don't we go to the club tonight?" "You can do a set, I can do a set." "Shoot, I got some" " I got a new one I wanna do anyway." "These jokes are so funny." "What do you say, man?" "Hey, speaking of the special, lemme talk to you, man." "What's up?" "So I've been talking to my manager..." "Well, it was fun while it lasted." "I had a good little run." "I got a family to take care of." "Put food on the table, clothes on their backs." "And who am I?" "Who am I to think that" "I could be a full-time comic anyway?" "Hey!" "Uh... thank God they always got a job for a brother at the post office, right?" "I got a bag full of mail and some people to give it to." "I might have your shit in here." "I swear to God, when I see Jeff Woods," "I'm gonna beat his ass!" "I'm sorry!" "Y'all don't love me!" "Y'all don't even know who the fuck I am!" "Huh?" "You wanna know?" "You wanna-- you wanna know really who I am?" "You wanna know who the fuck I am?" "Yes!" "We really want to know." "Who the fuck is Jeff Woods?" "Listen closely, you motherfucker!" "Listen closely." "I'm motherf" "Yeah, what ya need?" "!" "We want to ask Jeff how he feels right before the biggest performance of his life!" "Hey, tell them motherfuckers Jeff is in the zone right now and he ain't tryin' to be bothered with no motherfuckin' documentary!" "In fact, y'all are bullshit!" "I don't think we interested in doin' that little bullshit no more!" "You heard the man." "Kick rocks!" "But-- but we" "Tonight, ADO is proud to present, starring in his first, very own comedy special," "Jeff Woods!" "Baby, I'm trying to creep low" "Don't want to be the po, forge some credentials" "I tinted my windows, baby, just get in here" "You be there, get in, girl" "Ain't no empty space, just that look in that face..." "Jeff, now that you've finally reached the place that you've dreamed about and worked for for so long, what do you want to tell the world?" "Man." "Life is a motherfucker." "After that, I lost contact with Jeff." "Once again, at the peak of his career," "Jeff disappeared from the spotlight." "It was as if he had vanished into thin air." "I was worried about Jeff." "Would Jeff pull himself up by the bootstraps again?" "Or had he fallen off for good?" "Months went by." "I assumed the worst." "Then, nearly a year later," "I received an invitation to a ceremony being held at a small Spanish church." "Yes, I do, I will" "Share each moment with you" "Our love will fly" "Yes, I do" "Yes, I do I do" "I believe in you" "And everything you do" "Through fire, the rain" "And the pain we've been through" "Hand in hand we'll walk together" "As we face this world forever" "One we'll always remember" "So I do and I will" "Go the distance with you" "Our love will fly" "Yes, I do, I will..." "I's married now, y'all!" "Said I's married now!" "How does it feel to be married?" " You first." " Why I gotta go?" " Go!" " Uh... it feels different and the same at the same time, you know?" "I mean," "I always knew Iris had my back." "And now if we break up I get half her shit!" "I think it's safe to say that we're both very happy and grateful that things worked out the way they did." "Very happy and grateful that things worked out the way they did." "Can we expect any little ones?" "Well, I mean I wasn't gonna mention it," " but" " Oh!" " Yeah!" "Ugh ugh ugh!" " Oh stop!" "I figure I'd just go ahead and knock her up real quick, you know." "What now, Jeff?" "I'm just grateful, man, 'cause this could have turned out so differently." "I'm blessed." "I'm blessed." "I feel blessed!" "Man, I'm doing stand-up comedy." "I love that." "I got people behind me that love me and support me no matter how many times I fuck up." "Man, I don't even think I would have given myself that many chances." "If I learned anything it's nobody reaches success by themselves." "You reach it by standing on the shoulders of the people that love you and support you the most." "You know, so when you get to that point that you've been praying and begging and crying to get to, you owe it to them to make them proud." "Last and final question, Jeff:" "what advice would you give to anyone who is willing to listen?" "Man." "Just love and believe in yourself." "It took me a long time to learn that." "Pshaw-- shit, I'm still learning." "Thank you, Jeff." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Hey, Jeff, how about one more?" "For-- for the road." "Naw." "See, what had happened was" "As I watched Jeff disappear in the distance," "I was hopeful." "Hopeful that Jeff had finally slain his demons once and for all, hopeful that he'd raise his family and become the superstar that so many always knew he should be." "I'm very proud to say," "Jeff kept his promise." "He never did drugs again." "You know I think it's a damn shame." "I mean, first he kicks the shit, then his heart gives out?" "It hurts, it hurts." "I miss you so much, Jeff." "I don't even think" "I know he's up there, laughing at us all crying about him." "Shut up, I know you up there!" "We miss you, man!" "We miss you, we miss you." "We're gonna miss you, Jeff." "Naw." "See, what had happened was" "The day is long and it's real dark 'cause today we lost a great pioneer of comedians." "Right here, the number one comic in my mind," "Mr. Jeff Woods!" "We love you, brother!" "And I don't care what nobody say." "He will go down as one of the greats!" " Yep." " Like a Redd Foxx," " Richard Pryor..." " Yeah." "Bro, talk." "...Bernie Mac, Robin Harris." "We really cared about him!" " He was good." " He was a good boy!" "A good, good man." "We just want the world to know that this family" " is proud of our son." " Yes yes." " And, uh..." " Yeah." "And, uh... look, can-- can-- can you turn that thing off, please?" "When I first decided to film a documentary on Jeff Woods, my intention was to capture the story of a person who had fought his way up, had fallen hard and endeavored to fight his way up again." "Luckily, I managed to get that story and so much more!" "It's funny-- during my time with Jeff," "I felt that I really got to know him, and barely knew him at the same time." "Jeff that rare ability to make you love him, hate him, then love him again!" "That was his charm." "It was also his curse." "Maybe if we look close, we can all learn something from Jeff's journey." "As a very special person once told me, life is a motherfucker!" "Hey, I'm dedicating tonight's show and the rest of the shows of my career to my man Jeff Woods, y'all!" "Give it up for Jeff Woods!" "And since we're giving it up to Jeff Woods, let's talk about this nigga right now!" "Jeff Woods got this special one time-- nigga left me at home watching this shit on TV." "I was so goddamn mad." "My daughter gave this nigga the finger so hard," "I was like, "Bammm!" I was like, "God damn, go ahead, baby girl!"" "His girl Iris is in the house tonight." "Give it up for Iris, y'all." "That girl-- know you're looking good." "Yeah." "All jokes aside, man, Jeff is somewhere laughing at us and high as hell." "Jeff got high off everything!" "I seen Jeff smoke some bleach one time." "I once seen" " I once seen Jeff high on cocaine, heroin... and taco sauce!" "I'm like, "Nigga!"" "Like one time I saw the motherfucker-- pow!" "Right to the vein!" "Right before he went on stage the motherfucker was like" "Then they was like, "Jeff Woods!"" "And he popped up and went on stage." "Fucked me up." "I couldn't do it like him." "I mean he took it to the edge." "Boy was crazy!" "I remember one time, we were on the 101 in Jeff's Bentley." "I think we were going to our friend Jamie's house who was having a party in the valley or something." "Anyway, Jeff is high as a kite, misses the exit, does a U-turn on the freeway and goes up the down ramp." "One time, he stood on the stage for a whole hour, didn't say nothin', just stared at the audience." "I mean, no-- no talking, no cracking jokes, no nothing, just stood there like a coked-out zombie and shit." "Just staring' at 'em!" "For a whole hour?" "Come on, man!" "And the tripped-out part about it was the audience still laughed!" "They wouldn't let me backstage, right?" "So I waited outside until they brought him out to his limo." "And when he came out, I just ran up to him and grabbed him and gave him a big hug!" "And he looked at me and was like," ""Do I know you?"" "Can you believe he said some shit like that to me?" "Sol looked at him and I said," ""Does this jar your memory?"" "I used to beat that nigga Jeff's ass everyday after school." "He was one of them motherfuckers who could really make fun of you though-- talk about your clothes, the shape of your head, shit like that." "He was good like that." "One of them witty niggas." "Couldn't fight worth a damn though." "He was amazing, man." "I seen him kill this dude for like an hour straight." "Man, one time he said the dude teeth were so yellow, he looked like he had a urine tint." "Jeff had the shit." "Special guy, special guy!" "I told him, "Dude, you got it!" "You gotta go to LA and make that money."" "Sometimes he come, we see him in front of a comedy club, passed out." "You know what I mean?" "Just high." "Not even off liquor." ""Yo, get up, man!" "What's wrong with you?" "it's none of your business!"" "That was Jeff's thing. "it's none of your-- it's none of your business."" "So I just made it none of my business." "We just hope that Jeff really does it this time." "Jeff, we love you and we're praying for you and make it, baby!" "Excuse us, madam, why are you leaving so soon?" "No no, I am outta here!" "It is too goddamn wild up in there!" "People are getting high, sucking dicks, waving titties everywhere, doing anal, no!" "Fuck this!" "I am an actress." "And side note:" "I can play anything." "IMDB me." "So sure yeah, I came here thinking that I could get put on, but this is too much." "Oh God, and then Jeff's shady-ass manager Roosevelt Steele gave me his card:" ""Will kill a motherfucker for a client."" "Really?" "I'm gonna give him a call, but right now, I am outta here." "So, deuces!" "Hollywood has definitely lost a talent, a huge talent." "It's a crime that I'm selling this book for only $49.99." "What would you say to your critics who question your sources and accuse you of exploiting Jeff's death for financial gain?" "I'd say fuck 'em!" "Naw." "See, what had happened was"