"How Mr. Majer found a ring" "(whistling kettle)" "Honzík helped me in the garden yesterday." "And he cleaned the loft with me." "And I greeted the hag Bártová." "Completely by myself." "One should say Mrs. Bártová, and eat, otherwise you'll come late to school." "Do you know what you've promised if I am good?" "That we will go to a fun-fair." " To be sure, yes." " But in the evening, when everything shines." "OK, you can." "Are you free tonight?" " Good morning." " Brother, I am going to a fun-fair." "Ok, today is good." " Dad, honestly, shall we go?" " As Majer is my name." " Till when did you read yesternight?" " The day after tomorrow I have a test." "You have to learn regularly." "In the whole year." "The curriculum should be divided into 365 parts." " Dad, please, stop it." " Do you know what all I have to do?" "Radio, television, film dubbing, theater ..." "And you see, I manage everything." " And what do you do today?" " In the morning, filming a cowboy movie." "Bandits will shoot me today." " Where will they shoot you?" " The easiest way, to the chamber." "(whistling under the window) Honza, come already." " Finish eating first!" " I will, on the way." " Bye." " After the school go straight home." " Hi." " Hi." " Here." " I am stuffed." " Are you a friend?" " OK, give me." " Dad will be shot today." " This is great." "This I can do too." "Shoot me." "Pif." " Oh, what happened to him?" " He is shot." "What?" "What a game!" "So we can start." " How does it look like?" " Missing Mr. Majer." " Damned guy." "We're restraining Mr. Vogel!" " There he goes." "I will ... your Mr. Majer." "I'm sorry, a phone call detained me." "The television called me." "You know, Mr. Musil, Gross has a tremendous offer for me." " Every day I'll be on the screen." " I congratulate you." "So, a headband, and we can go." " Only real favorites get such an offer." " You, a "real favorite"?" "The director tells you that if you do not go immediately to the place, don't come next time." " I've been ready for a long time." " Go!" "Mr. Vogel takes the bags and you, Miler ..., Majer, rest." "Understand?" "Trial!" "Attention!" "Going!" "Stop Majer, a bit aside!" "You said to relax..." "You are covering Mr. Vogel." "Spectators want to see him and not you." " Good, enough." " Prepare!" "Going for real!" "Camera!" "Two hundred and twelve!" " Look, a bell." " Nice." "(ringing)" "Do you have any desire, sir?" "Man, who are you?" "What do you want here?" "Stop!" "What is this guy doing there?" "This is terrible what he crows dares to do today." "Who has put you into it?" "Get out!" "Didn't you hear?" "Get out!" " What does it mean?" " I do not know." "We told him to disappear and he disappeared." " Please, Mr. Gross" " Thanks, Bohoušek." "They took him to the hospital." "A hassle came, who will do fairy tales for good night." " Do you think that I could..." " I've proposed you." "So, in the beginning they had some objections, but ultimately we have given it to you." "Man, Franta, I thank you." "You know, my son still studies." "Thanks a lot." " We are friends." " You're great." " Here it is and be at five in the studio." " Sure." " Bohoušek, two cognacs!" "Bohoušek!" " He's deaf." "He will hear this though." "(ringing)" " Do you wish?" " Mr. waiter, two cognacs." "Here you go." "Thank you." " There are two of you here, Bohoušek?" " Nope, no people." " So, who gave us those cognacs?" " Never mind." "On your successes, Anderssen." " Peter, put it together for us." " Why me?" "You will never learn it." "Peter, please." "Hold it." " Well, here it is." " Thanks." "Pajdo, don't stroll here." "Play somewhere else." "Maøenka, come for a snack!" " Honzík, do you want one too?" " I am just bringing one to him." " Honzík, snack!" " I cannot come now." " Peter, you have the snack upstairs." " Thanks, I'm going there." " Peter." " I have to learn." "We won't let you." "No way." "Hold him." "Let him." "You do not have a test." " Hold it well, that sheet." " OK." " You have holey hand, hold it." " Come on, I am." "Pajda, what are you doing?" "Shame on you." " Honzíku, have you already finished?" " Sure, it is finished." "Pajdo, you eater!" "For penalty, sit and don't move." "And, Honzík, don't lie to me!" "There lived a good king, he had two daughters." "One's name was Xenie, she was proud, walked around the castle..." "like a peacock... (punch)" "Sorry, sorry." "The second princess Arabela, was all joke and laughter, and subordinates would jump into fire for her." "No doubt that she was loved by an assistant magician Rumburak... (punch)" " Why do you hit me?" "Am I a whistle?" " Sorry, I didn't want to." " I've been watching you." "You're enjoying it!" " What?" "This is not true." "I work here." "I narrate fairy tales to children here." "And where are those children?" "He does not have any there." " So you are lying?" "Your documents." " Please." " Faster, you're an antelope and not elephant." " I cannot faster." " You eat too much, you're fat." " And who stuffs me by bread?" "Anyway, I'm bored." " What do you have again?" " But, he only wants to play safari." " She only wants to play spouses." " What is so bad on that?" " Come on, Hanza." "Be a little courteous." " OK." " We will have to be polite, being engaged." " And what shall we do?" "Why do you ask so stupidly, sir?" "First we perhaps arrange an apartment, don't we?" " Just one for you?" " I'm not even hungry." "Rather, I'm tired." "So take a short nap." "You take too much." "And you have should drop the tales." " You'll get mad from it." " Never." "Such a series of fairy tales may completely change our lives." "After lunch, I will wash the dishes and you can take a nap on the couch." "But how to get it down?" " I cannot hold it!" " Come up, we'll switch." "Ááááá." " Honza!" " (punch to the door)" "Why did you let it go, you fiancee?" "What ...?" "So come." "For this to a fun-fair?" "No way." "Honorary word must be held." " Wait, I gave you an honorary word..." " It's not my fault, that's Maøenka's." "I was engaged and I had to arrange an apartment." " What apartment?" " Since I have to play the spouses." " I see, you have it difficult." " (bell)" " Hello, I'm Karel Majer." " Good day." "I'm Zuzana." " Could I please speak with Peter?" " If he is at home." "Peter, the phone!" " Who is calling?" " Zuzana." "I'm not at home." " I'm sorry, but he is not at home." " And could I leave him a message?" "Certainly, one moment, I'll take a pencil." "(splash, bubbles)" "Sorry, I did not know, that you are in the bath." "Why do you force me to lie?" "Why to talk with someone, if I do not have anything to talk about." "Here you have the phone number, call there." "She said that she has some tickets." "Never!" "I do not know why you could not once a time watch a movie with a girl." " Must you constantly stare to those papers?" " I have a test." " So what?" " And even if I have not." "I have never met a girl, which I would not be bored with." " I always know in advance what she will say." " Come, Pajda." " What are you doing?" " Trying whether it is waterproof." "Arnošt, buy washing powder." " Good day." " If you go into the city, I will take you." " Dad, come to see." "We are furnished." " Dad, come too." "So come, let's make them happy." " Look." " Well, you have it nice." "And quite firm." "But here it's wrong tense." "This must be proper..." " (outcry) - (laughter of children)" "Sorry." "Silence!" "I'm very sorry, Mr. Majer." " Just today, when I'm in a hurry..." " Once again, I'm sorry." "But no, it is not your fault." "To not forget, do you have in the hotel a handy plumber?" "We've a screwed boiler." " I will ask." " Be so nice." "Good bye." "And do not forget to watch TV in the evening." "I'll be narrating a fairy tale." " Really?" "Good bye." " So in the evening, on television." " Majer!" "Karel, where are you?" " I couldn't find it." " What have I said?" " Studio 5." " Please, is there a Five?" " Now, when they are closed." "On the open, no." "So look!" "One, two, three..." "When you see another number, you will change picture." " Is it clear?" " Yes." "Understand?" "Pleasantly, confidentially." "You need to win the hearts of young viewers." "Children must love you." "Maybe as a grandmother." " And why not as a grandfather?" " Well, as the grandfather." " In short: pleasant, smile..." " Like their grandfather." "Prepare." "Going!" " It will start soon!" " Hold thumbs for the dad." "Dear children." "You will hear a story for good night." "Behind nine mountains and nine rivers, there lived a good king and he had two daughters." "One's name was Xenie, she was very pretty, but proud." "She strolled in the castle like a peacock and always looked in the mirror." "(laughter of children)" "Hi!" "The second princess Arabela was all jokes and laughter..." "This is Mr. Majer from our house." "...she was kind and pleasant, she was a beautiful girl, like a spring..." "(whistling, interruption of signal broadcast)" "Sorry for a technical failure." "Sorry for a technical failure, which is not on your TV." "... and children don't be surprised ..." " Stop!" " What is up?" " Didn't you hear that we have stopped it?" " Poláèek, what pictures are you putting there?" " About the wolf and sheeps." " So you are at fault!" " I read what you gave me, look." " On Princess Arabela." " Polacek has a wolf, there..." "So it's your fault, Gross!" "Jesus, I would prefer to get a few slaps." "Director, I am sorry." "Sorry to Mr. Majer!" "He may knit a coat from shame!" "That's such bad luck, but you have not done it on purpose." " This is really a wolf." " Poláèek, go somewhere with it!" "But I said to you, Karel." "Don't accept those fairy tales." "Such a shame." " Why, it was fun." " I liked it." "You see, Maøenka liked it." "I will shoor a bear for you at the fun-fair." " Really?" " As Mr. Majer my name is." "Come already." "Pajda, go home." "So look!" "What will you bet on?" "(Shot of airgun)" " Again aside!" "Close you eyes, perhaps you will hit it." " Once again?" " Yes." " The bear comes more expensive than in the shop." " This isn't acceptable." "He must shoot him." "So do it!" "Peace, men!" " I do not have more money with me." " I will lend you." "You'd be so good?" "Tomorrow I will bring it back." "We here with Mrs. Hermanová are getting mad and you shoot at the fun-fair." "Are you normal?" "I promised Maøenka that I will shoot a bear for her." "You have yet heard it." " A did you shoot him?" " Not yet." "Tomorrow that we will continue." " In the morning I will learn to shoot..." " This is out of question!" "No, I will." "Anyway I have to go there because I owed for the shooting." " Children must not see a boaster in me." " What I see in you, you do not care?" "You're my wife, you should try to understand." "Look!" " What is it?" " I found it at the filming." "(ringing)" "Do you have any desire, sir?" " Tfuj!" "In turn, is it you again?" " What are your wishes?" " Karel, who is it?" " What do you want here?" "Make a U-turn, you are in a lady's bedroom!" "So why do you keep ringing?" "For me it is nothing pleasant to travel such a distance, to meet your wishes." " And where have you come from?" " None of your business!" " One moment." "Will you meet me desires?" " What else would I do here otherwise?" " And if I wanted to learn to shoot?" " Hold me!" " What are you doing?" "Karel!" " Where are we?" " Do not mind." "Take it and aim." "Maybe at that bear." "Yes, yes, bear." "This is what it is about." "(Singing) Hey hou." "Hey hou ..." " I know very well where we are." "Where do they go?" " To work, digging treasures." "We are in a fairy tale." "Tales are my field, I narrate them every day on television." " I'm Karel Majer." " Rumburak, second category witcher." "This is not possible." "I narrated about you just today in the television." "Interesting and what is it the television?" "And suddenly he cast a cloak over dad and both of them disappeared." "So relax for now and go to sleep." "I once had a dream..." "But no dream!" "They disappeared in front of my eyes." "Mom, come on, I am technically based and I refuse to listen to such things." "What shall we do?" "Go and lie down, please." "This is all about." "So those fairy tales will be seen and heard by a million children at once." "This is an unbelievable thing, this television." "Even in our conditions." "No but when something goes wrong, it is also a million times more shame." " And what could go wrong?" " Well just now... (laughter)" " He is delayed." " There are so many things to see here." "What we have talked about?" "If something goes wrong." "Just now we have swapped your story." "For all children, Xenie is now an old goat and Arabela is a wolf." "Psst!" "Look!" "You see, talking about a wolf..." "Try to shoot it since you missed a bear." " But how?" " Wolf, eye and aim of your rifle." " This is my rifle?" " Certainly." " Thank you." " So, wolf..." " Your eye and aim are looking in one line." " And press." "(Shot)" "Chumps, what have you done?" "Why have you shot me?" " What have you...?" "This is a trouble!" " Help, it hurts." "I'm wounded." "There will be an inconvenience." " Why have you killed the speaking wolf?" " Who is she?" " Princess Arabela." " This is my mistake." "I am sorry." "But we have a friend, doctor Sojka." "He treats our Pajda." "If the wolf dies, you're in trouble, Rumburak!" "And you too, sir." "Even with your Sojka." "(bell)" " Who is it?" " That's me, Majer." " Something with Pajda?" " Far more serious." "It is a life of a wolf." " I do not understand you." " I will explain it to you." "This is Mr. Rumburak." " A second category magician." " Please?" "Simply, I have shot a wolf." "He is terribly wounded and he swears a lot." " Namely, who?" " I mean the wolf, who can speak." "He lies there at the lake in the Fairyland." " This is surely..." " Calm down, it's true." "Such jokes are extremely inappropriate this time, gentlemen." " It is your obligation." " Good night." " Where is the wolf?" " He died, so we dug him." " My career is over!" "Because of you." " I haven't done it on purpose." " If you didn't ring the bell ..." " Since I found it, I rang." "How could I know?" "Give it to me!" "Tomorrow, you could call me again." "And frankly, I do not know, why you're so upset." "You live in a fairy tale." "Well, there are no fairy tales." "(laughter)" "That was a good joke." "So we do not exist according to you." "You will see yourself whether there are fairy tales." " Karel, breakfast." " Yes..." "What, am I at home?" "Have you also had a crazy night?" " I dreamt that you were kidnapped." " What I dreamt..." "Tfuj!" "(Shot)" "Karel!" " Fire!" " What is going on here?" "Look, here it... shot." " You have shot an alarm clock." " Why are you sleeping with a gun?" "Where did you take it?" " This is the rifle that I shot a wolf with." " What wolf?" " Speaking." " Speaking?" " Have you shot a wolf?" " Yes." " And where is it?" " There it... the dwarves dug him in." "Karel, wake up!" "It seems to me, my mum, that we begin being crazy." "(Music)" "Translated by Rosetta and Robster"