"(BIRDS CHIRPING)" "Do you hear anything?" "No." "Not yet." "(HORN BLARING)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)" "Anything now?" "No." "(HORN CONTINUES BLARING)" "How about now?" "Nope." "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "Here she comes." "(TIRES SCREECH)" "On time?" "To the second." "Let's see those pizza delivery boys do that." "Everybody out." "Okay, everybody, here we go." "Let's line up right over here by the bus." "Okay, fine, fine." "Okay, over by the bus." "Just gather up over here by the bus." "That's fine, folks." "That's good." "That's the way." "Okay!" "Would you look at that?" "Maybe 30 people." "Twenty-four." "Twenty-four people." "Few years ago, we would have had 80, maybe 100 of them." "No more." "And all because of one thing." "The economy?" "That damned MTV." "(HOOTING)" "So far so good, huh?" "No major geeks." "No major losers." "But the day is young." "Boy!" "Mom and Dad were right." "This is gonna be great." "(GRUNTING)" "(ALL SHOUTING)" "(ALL CLAMORING)" "I'm sorry, guys." "What did I tell you, Kell?" "There is a loser born every second." "I knew that fat ass was gonna be trouble when we first got on that bus." "Yeah." "Shake it off." "We got two weeks here." "And a lot can happen to Porky in two weeks." "Catch my drift?" "Okay, okay." "Everybody settle down." "A little water ain't gonna hurt you." "I mean, unless you're on the Titanic." "All right." "Now, welcome to Lakeside Water Ski Camp." "I'm Neil Peterson." "I'm the owner." "People around here just call me Neil." "Especially when I'm dropped to my knees." "(LAUGHS)" "Well, I think you should check with your counselors for your assigned bungalows, and then maybe hit the showers, huh?" "I guarantee you, gang." "Listen, these last two weeks of summer are going to be fantastic." "I promise you." "What do you say, gang?" "Okay, right here we have, Ford, Duncan and Thigpen." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Over here we have Starbuck, Burberry, Franklin, Paladino," "Hardy, Fouts, and Donnenberg." "Hey, three of you girls are in this cabin." "Hillary, Misha and Loren." "Okay." "And the rest of you follow me." "We're up here." "Wes." "(SNIFFING)" "(GIRLS CHATTERING)" "Howie, I'm getting a good feeling about this place." "Yeah, I'm getting the same feeling." "I'm getting a woody." "Hi, I'm Victor." "Victor Thigpen." "Victor, Victor Thigpen." "Wes Ford." "This is my pal, Howie." "Hi." "Sorry about the water." "I kind of got excited." "See, this is my first time at camp." "No." "No." "Really!" "Actually, this is my first time away from home." ""First time away from home."" "Victor, you know, you seem like a cool guy." "And since these girls down here were headed for the shower, would you be interested in joining me and Howie for a little" "sneak preview?" "Boy, would I!" "Hey, guys, my back hurts." "I want to look, too." "Hey, relax, Pigpen, we just got here." "As you all know, I've encountered a few financial problems here at Lakeside." "That, coupled with a drastic decrease in the number of patrons over the last couple of years..." "It's really taken a toll on our camp." "The result is I've been forced to let go a number of our regular counselors." "And I guess the topper was last week when Jonathan left us to take the other recreation director's job up there in Oregon." "You know that he didn't even call to say goodbye?" "You know, I don't even think he'd care if he hurt somebody." "Come on." "You're going on nine minutes." "Would you shut up?" "Just a minute more." "Check it out!" "Dang." "(SCREAMING)" "THIGPEN: (STAMMERING) Skunk!" "(GIRLS SCREAMING)" "I'm telling you, Howie, that Thigpen is mine." "Well, be that as it may, we now find ourselves without a rec director." "Therefore, I've had to decide on a replacement, and I've made my decision." "Our new recreation director will be" "Ricky Wade." "What?" "Ricky Wade?" "He's working over at Twin Oaks." "He was working for Twin Oaks." "Apparently, he wasn't happy with the new owners over there." "And when he heard that Jonathan had left us, he inquired about the job." "Look, in the two years since he left us for Twin Oaks, he was singlehandedly responsible for doubling their attendance!" "Doubling it." "And God knows we're in serious need of someone." "(AIRCRAFT HOVERING) who can do the same thing here." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Wes, check this guy out." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "BOY:" "That was cool." "Boy, this place even has a stunt show." "Can't be." "Whoa!" "(GRUNTING)" "Whoa, what a landing." "That was some fun, huh?" "Hey, guys." "Sorry if I'm a little bit late." "I gotta tell you, man, those standby flights, they're a bitch." "The food sucks." "I'm serious." "Kyle." "Wow, if it isn't Kyle." "And if it isn't, I'm very excited about that." "So, who flew you in, Wade?" "Or should I say, threw you out?" "Happy to see you, too." "Whoa!" "Didn't know you were that happy." "Jennifer." "Rickster!" "Hi, Bill." "Hi, Ted." "Any excellent adventures lately?" "No?" "Good." "You just never change." "Hello, Ricky." "Hi, kid." "NEIL:" "Ricky." "Ricky." "Hey." "Hey!" "I'm glad to see you, son." "Really glad to see you." "Thank you." "Hey, we're all glad to see you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Hey, folks." "I want you to meet our new recreation director, Ricky Wade." "Yeah." "Oh." "Neil, have you been telling those bad jokes again, like a bad little Neil?" "Huh?" "You know we don't like it when you do that." "Kids, has he been a bad boy?" "I think we need to put him in his place, kids." "All right, now, listen up." "This is the plan." "I'm your drill sergeant." "At 1600 hours, you boys and girls are gonna come to the "Welcome to Camp" party." "And until that time," "I want you all to take your clothes off, have a lot of sex and go out and hit the lake!" "Don't worry, Neil, I got them right where I want them." "Fine." "Fine." "Fine." "Good." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Go." "Kyle!" "(GASPING)" "All right, ready to cross." "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "Finally, somebody knows what they're doing." "Okay!" "Now, try to jump off the ramp." "What are you doing?" "Wishing I were a duck." "All right, make a wide right turn into the ramp, okay?" "No." "No." "A right turn." "Right!" "Right!" "(SCREAMING)" "Boy, this is way better than the brochure." "(EXCLAIMING)" "I'm not with him anymore, so drop it." "What the hell were you ever doing with him in the first place?" "I've known him for a long time." "The guy is an asshole, Kelly." "Whatever." "Great." "Grandpa, why did you have to bring Ricky back here?" "Of all the people for this job, why him?" "Well..." "Honey, look." "A long time ago I promised your parents that if anything ever happened to them," "I'd take care of you." "Now, you know I want this camp to be yours one day." "But for that to happen," "I have to do everything I can to make sure that it's still here." "And strange as it may seem, Ricky can help make that happen." "But you don't understand how awkward it is for me to have Ricky and Kyle here at the same time." "Oh, honey, all I ask is that you try to understand." "All I'm doing is what I think is best for the camp." "Grandpa, I know that." "It's just really difficult right now." "All right, all you happy campers." "All you have to do is aim and yell "pull."" "(GUN FIRES)" "Wow!" "Great shot." "Where did you learn to shot like that?" "I used to live in Detroit." "Want to try?" "Yeah." "When you're ready, just yell "pull", okay?" "WADE:" "Ready when you are, killer." "Pull!" "(SCREAMS)" "Hey, not yet." "I'm not ready... (GUN FIRES)" "Hey." "Look out." "No." "I got a... (GRUNTING)" "How did I do?" "Oh, I'd say you were pretty effective." "(GIGGLES)" "Did you see..." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "I know I promised not to interfere." "But, look, I'm concerned here." "The meet is only a week away, and frankly, I don't see much talent out there." "Oh, Neil, relax." "This is only the first week." "I'm gonna get them going." "Tomorrow we'll dig in deep." "It's going to be fine." "And besides, you don't need a lot of talent." "Look at your career." "Hey." "It ain't the Pope." "Take a hike." "Yes?" "Mrs. Monica Shavetts would like to speak with you." "The Twin Oaks owner?" "My, my, my, Mr. Peterson." "This is so quaint and cozy." "It's very provincial." "Kind of late in the day for introductions, isn't it?" "I do apologize." "I just know how busy you must be during the day." "I mean, what do you have here, 60 or 70 campers staying?" "Something like that." "Yeah." "My." "I have 127." "Well, like they say." "It's not the quantity, it's the quality, right?" "Please excuse Nunzio and his walnut fetish, Mr. Peterson." "He lacked a certain amount of oxygen during childbirth." "What do you want, Mrs. Shavetts?" "Cut to the chase." "I like that in a man." "My friends at the bank have informed me that Lakeside Camp is experiencing some minor financial difficulty." "A minor problem?" "A delinquent $200,000 mortgage is a pretty big problem." "Especially for a money-losing venture such as Lakeside." "Now..." "Nunzio." "Shit!" "Whatever you say, ma'am." "Hey, buddy, where's your toilet?" "Light me, you idiot." "Sorry, ma'am." "Dick." "Allow me to introduce you to my latest venture." "Mountain View Golfing Community." "350 acres of golfing and vacationing bliss." "It's been a dream of mine for many years, Mr. Peterson." "However, there is one problem." "My camp is the only lakeside property zoned for new construction." "Precisely." "That's why I'm here with an offer." "$500,000 in cash for Lakeside." "Enough to pay off your mortgage and to make your pending retirement more comfortable." "I'm willing to give you a few days to think about it." "No need." "I can give you my answer now." "No." "I know your type, Mrs. Shavetts." "You'd do anything to make a buck." "The difference between you and me is that I care about this little lake and you don't give a good damn what happens to it as long as the cash flows in." "Next you'll be changing the laws to bring in gambling and prostitution." "Oh, no." "Those are illegal." "As is stealing." "Perhaps I should have you arrested for stealing Ricky Wade from me." "I didn't steal anybody." "Ricky came to me on his own for a job." "Said he didn't care much for the new owner over there." "Now I know why." "So if you people don't mind..." "Thank you for your time, Mr. Peterson." "I do hope you'll reconsider." "Banks don't wait forever, you know." ""Buddy, where's your toilet?"" "Yeah." "Hey, come on in, boys and girls." "Hey, wait till you hear the orchestra we've got tonight." "(LAUGHS)" "Ooh..." "Hello, Neil." "Oh, well, hello..." "Hillary." "My friends call me Hilly." "(CHUCKLING) How about that?" "By any chance, are you checking IDs?" "No." "Good. 'Cause all I brought was my IUD." "(EXCLAIMING)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "Are you sure you don't have it?" "It's my favorite." "Dude, I told you before." "I don't have any Wayne Newton." "(PEOPLE SHOUTING)" "Hi." "Hi." "I'm Howie." "Who are you?" "Hillary." "You know, you really shouldn't buy your aftershave at a yard sale." "All right, baby." "Oh!" "(ALL CLAPPING)" "Thank you." "All right, ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Okay." "All right, listen." "Seriously, before I get off... (ALL EXCLAIMING)" "Uh, no, really, folks." "I'd like to at this time take a minute to recognize our Neil Peterson." "(ALL CHEERING)" "Who is the only man to guarantee you a good time or your money back." "(WHOOPS)" "Yeah." "This man is also the only man who has ever successfully completed the triple hinge." "(WHOOPING)" "Now, tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be holding the tryouts for our annual ski meet competition against Twin Oaks." "Now, if you're not familiar with Twin Oaks," "Twin Oaks is that big fancy rich place on steroids across the lake." "Now, this meet is very important to Neil because Twin Oaks has won the last three years in a row." "BOY:" "All right." "Bite me." "Now, tomorrow is not mandatory, okay?" "You can try out if you want to." "You don't have to." "However!" "If you are into getting the full enjoyment of your ski vacation and, believe me, there is no thrill in the world like watching your competition eat your wake." "(ALL CHEERING)" "Right?" "Then, go on and party on and we'll see you at 9:00 a.m. in the morning." "Sharp." "(ALL CHEERING)" "You, know, was it me, or have I seen this shirt somewhere before?" "Nice shirt." "I see the 10 has taste." "Does he have a name?" "Yeah, actually, it's Wes, Jennifer." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "(SLOW ROCK PLAYING)" "Oh, boy." "I have nothing to fear but fear itself." "I have everything to gain and nothing to lose." "Come on, Victor, do it." "Do it." "Do it!" "I'm a winner, not a loser." "I'm a winner, not a loser." "I'm a winner, not a loser." "I'm a winner, not a loser." "Come on, Victor." "I'm a winner, not a loser." "I'm a winner, not a loser." "Oh, God." "My God, my dress!" "I'm sorry." "I tripped." "Oh, you idiot." "I didn't mean it." "God, some guys get all the women." "What's wrong with you?" "You look like the jury just gave you the electric chair." "Monica Shavetts came by." "She made me an offer to buy Lakeside." "Whoa, man." "Stay away from that woman." "I'm serious." "She is bad news." "Well, you don't have to convince me." "Oh, Ricky, this meet is so important." "I've just got to generate more business." "Don't worry." "If we win it, they will come." "And we will win." "Trust me." "What's the matter?" "I don't know." "You mad at me?" "No." "Is it because I didn't get the rec director's job?" "No." "Of course not." "It's just, it's different this year." "You mean because of Ricky Wade?" "No." "It has nothing to do with Ricky." "He's ancient history." "Ancient history?" "Yeah." "Well, you know what they say about history repeating itself, don't you?" "Look, will you just..." "Hark." "Hark." "What is this my eyes see before me?" "A man, a young attractive man standing by himself on a porch at night with a party going on." "Where's the party police?" "Party police!" "There's a man standing out here by himself and his name is Victor." "I'm sorry, honest." "I didn't mean that." "Didn't mean what?" "Take your choice." "Dumping water on everybody." "Smashing the women's shower." "Causing that." "Sorry." "I'm such a klutz." "You did all that?" "In one day?" "Oh..." "It's true." "It is you." "It's the Devil." "Where's that sign?" ""666 Damian."" "Come on, Damian, I know it's you." "I think I'm gonna change that 10 to a 12." "Yeah?" "Numbers can't express the way I'm feeling right now." "So basically, that's the story of my life." "Getting in the way, ruining other people's good times." "Don't worry about it, Victor." "Here, have a cigarette, it'll make you feel better." "I don't smoke, Ricky." "Well, it's a good time to start." "Go ahead." "Okay." "Ow!" "You see, you shouldn't smoke, Victor." "Well, anyway, that's my biggest problem." "I have no friends." "That's why my parents suggested I take this trip." "Maybe to meet some new people, maybe even a girl." "A girl here at camp?" "Wait a minute." "Girl." "Camp." "Girl." "Camp." "Oh, my God, what a concept." "A girl in camp." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Victor." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you, Victor." "Oh, Victor." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Oh, boy, look." "It's a rock." "Actually, it's a tombstone, Vic." "No, it's a feldspar." "It's indigenous to most mountainous areas." "See, I collect rocks." "You collect rocks." "Well, that's very boring of you, bud." "It's Victor." "I collect them and I paint them." "Paint rocks, do you?" "Landscapes." "Animal faces." "You name it." "Not much call for that kind of thing, is there, Vic?" "No, not at all." "This is it, huh?" "This is where the infamous Thigpen legend began." "Isn't that right?" "Yeah." "Tell me, Victor, you ever consider taking your rocks and painting small women with big breasts on them?" "Boy, look, Ricky, igneous specimens." "(BOTH GASPING)" "Oh, my gosh!" "What?" "Jeez." "Oh, my gosh." "I knew it." "God!" "Friend of yours?" "Well, he was all into kissing me, but I don't feel comfortable around him anymore." "I don't know." "Something's changed." "Tell me what happened." "Stormed away as usual." "Are you kidding?" "I wanted to talk about it." "He didn't." "So, Kyle thinks that because you weren't in the mood it has something to do with Ricky?" "Uh-huh." "Well?" "Does it?" "Good night, Jennifer." "You slut." "(BOTH GIGGLING)" "What the..." "What are you doing here, Wade?" "Well, this is bungalow number two, isn't it?" "Yeah, this is my bungalow." "Just one second." "Hold that thought." "Thanks a lot, Neil." "Well, guess it's our bungalow now." "What hell are you talking about?" "Well, Neil said, "Go crash in bungalow number two,"" "and this looks like it would be bungalow number two." "No, way." "I'm the only one here who sleeps in number two." "And I bet you're real proud of that, too, aren't you?" "Well, listen." "What do you say we just let you blow off some steam?" "Get out whatever you got to get out." "Let it out in the open." "Come on, just do it with me." "Breathe." "It's okay." "It's okay." "Let it go." "Come on." "Let it go." "That rec director's job, that was supposed to be mine, Wade." "I busted my ass for it and I deserved it." "Let's not kid each other, Wade." "I don't like you, and you don't like me." "So, don't expect me to jump up every time you call, 'cause it ain't going to happen." "Dig?" "Finished?" "Yeah, I'm finished." "Now, why don't we take your little ego and put it in a box for awhile, okay?" "And we'll get back to it later." "Right now, let's worry about the future of Lakeside and winning this meet." "And remember, I'm in charge here." "Not you." "Oh, and let's remember something else." "I'm sleeping on the bottom bunk." "Not you." "Okay, I want you to remember something, Wade." "I'm with Kelly, now." "Not you." "Oh, God." "Oh, my God." "What's the problem, man?" "My finger." "My finger." "Oh, God." "It cramps up like this all the time." "Last year I broke it in a ski..." "Oh, God." "Oh, oh, you pull it." "Get the cramp out." "Please." "What?" "I'm in so much pain." "Please." "Just pull it." "Just pull it." "Just pull it." "(FARTING)" "Thank you." "Oh, you're sick, man." "I know it." "Smells good, too." "No, that's your feet." "That's really gross." "(SIREN WAILING)" "NEIL:" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God, there's a fire." "Fire!" "(ALL CLAMORING) Wake up." "Wake up." "Head for the center of camp." "Quickly." "Quickly." "Head for the center of camp." "There's a forest fire." "Hurry." "Wake up." "Hurry." "Hurry." "Save yourselves." "Hurry." "Help pick up the fire buckets and soak yourselves down!" "Pick up the buckets and hoses and soak yourselves down." "Hurry." "Hurry." "Men, pick up the women." "Pick them up." "There's a fire coming." "Now, men, lift your left legs and twirl around like a pretty ballerina." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "NEIL:" "Good morning, campers." "Breakfast is now being served in the main lodge." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "(WHOOPING)" "Jesus." "All right, Victor!" "All right." "Good." "Good." "That's what I want to see." "Go, Wes." "Yeah." "Go, Victor." "(WHOOPING)" "Hey, Hillary." "Why aren't you out there trying out for the team?" "Sorry." "I just want to devote some time to my body." "Funny you should say that." "I was just thinking about devoting some time to your body." "Ah, Howie." "Now, I'm serious about this." "We're gonna go out there tomorrow, and we're gonna have some fun." "We're gonna kick some butt." "And, wake up." "God!" "Now, you see the energy he just put out?" "Now, that is what we need." "(WHOOPING)" "Wes." "Come on, Howie." "All right, Wes." "Oh, that's good." "I like that." "This is an improvement I see here." "This is good." "We actually might have a chance of winning this year, Kell." "BOY 1:" "Talk." "Talk." "Music." "Music." "Three words." "Three words." "GIRL 1:" "Talk." "Talk." "Three words." "(ALL CHATTERING)" "Guns N' Roses!" "Guns N' Roses!" "(BOY WHOOPING)" "WADE:" "All right." "All right." "All right." "Okay." "I guess you know what that means, kiddies." "Time to take off some more clothes." "Bullshit, Wade." "Who's ever heard of strip charades?" "Well, obviously we all have 'cause we're playing it." "Now, we've had a real hard week." "We're having some fun here." "Let's go." "Get them off." "All right." "That's good." "I like that." "Good." "Very Good." "There you go." "Okay, let's see." "My turn here." "WADE:" "Okay, it's a nursery rhyme, kids." "Oh, God." "Okay." "GIRL 2:" "First word." "BOY 1:" "One word." "(ALL CHATTERING)" "BOY 2:" "Come on." "Pump." "Pump." "Humpty Dumpty." "You're right." "(ALL CHEERING)" "All right, folks." "All right." "Come on." "My team take off a piece of clothes." "Okay." "(GRUNTS)" "God!" "Not again, this is the third time!" "I'm sorry, Hillary." "Better see if she's all right." "You'd only help her if you were never born, Thigpen." "WADE:" "All right." "All right." "Okay, your turn." "BOY 1:" "Let's go." "All right." "Category is "movie." All right." "Movie." "Kick some ass, man." "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." "(ALL CHATTERING)" "The Mummy." "(CHOCKING)" "He's choking." "I got it." "I got it." "The Exorcist." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Boy, that was great, man." "I thought you were the greatest charades player of all time." "I have had it with you, Wade!" "Oh, great." "Just let everyone know about our sex life." "That's fine." "Okay, okay." "I challenge you to a game of chicken." "I never turn down a challenge, you know." "Good." "All right." "Chicken." "You guys are talking about with cars here?" "Cars?" "We don't need no stinking cars." "All right." "Remember." "There's one rule here." "Whoever balls out loses." "Hey, Jennifer, you got the horn?" "Good." "All right." "Let's jam." "This is ridiculous." "Boys." "Y'all ready?" "Let's do it." "Wait." "Wait." "Wait." "Hold on a minute." "I think I lost my contact." "Since when have you worn contacts?" "Oh, yeah." "Never mind." "Let's go." "One, two... (HONKING)" "(ALL EXCLAIMING)" "Kyle!" "Are you all right?" "Kyle!" "Yeah." "Shit." "Hi, sailor." "Need a lift?" "If only he took his talent more seriously." "Ricky." "Give it a shot." "There's only one man who can do it, Neil." "And you're the man." "What." "Are you telling me you're chicken?" "Come on, Ricky." "Concentrate." "One." "Two." "Help!" "I've fallen, and I can't get up." "You see that, Neil?" "That wasn't easy to mess up like that." "It took a lot of time." "Close." "Very close." "All you need is half a revolution." "Yeah, well, don't go saying that in Cuba." "You know, there's only one man in the world who's ever successfully completed the triple hinge." "That's you." "You've got all the tools, son." "Always have." "You just need to motivate yourself." "You have to want it bad enough." "If you do, anything is possible." "Anything." "Yeah, well, I don't know about that, but what about you?" "Why don't you get out there and put on that old wetsuit again, huh?" "Who knows?" "Maybe someday, something will come along that will motivate this old ski bum." "Excuse me." "Do you know if that ski meet is today?" "Yeah." "Neil, motivation." "Good motivation." "Oh, motivated." "ANNOUNCER:" "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the 15th annual Challenge Cup Ski Meet between Lakeside Ski Camp and the Twin Oaks Resort." "The team events are freestyle waterskiing," "Jet-Skiing, and the always-thrilling ski jump." "Each team will be scored on style and degree of difficulty by our judges," "Nelson Byers, Wendell Russell, and Bambi "Yabbos" Yallowitz." "All right, team." "Let's get psyched up." "This is ours." "Let's go." "Yeah." "All right." "Huddle up." "Huddle up." "Come on." "Lets get it together." "Let's do it, guys." "Now we're going to go out there, and we're going to keep it simple." "We're going to do the best job we can do, and we're gonna have some fun." "And we're gonna make those scum-suckers wish they never heard of Lakeside." "Let's go." "Kill it." "(ALL CHEERING)" "Kelly." "Come on, Kelly." "Way to go, Kell." "No." "That's all right." "That's all right." "Give it up for Ben." "Wes." "Wes." "Wes." "That was great." "Yeah." "Come on." "Yes, yeah." "Come on, buddy." "Let's go." "Come on, Victor." "Yeah." "What the hell is he doing?" "He's gonna try the ramp." "Stupid asshole." "ANNOUNCER:" "Seems our judges weren't very impressed with Victor Thigpen." "Tough break, Victor." "You did good." "You went out there and you tried." "That's all that matters." "BOY:" "You get them next time, man." "All right." "Had to be a hero, didn't you?" "ANNOUNCER:" "Going into our final event, the men's ski jump," "Lakeside finds itself with a comfortable lead." "Twin Oaks' only hope is their Recreation Director Michael Peltz." "What a magnificent jump for Twin Oaks." "Plenty of distance and a near-perfect landing." "Let's see how the judges score him." "9.4, 9.1 and 9.7." "And that effort puts Twin Oaks back into the lead by 13.4 points." "And now our final contestant, Lakeside Recreation Director" "Ricky Wade." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "ALL:" "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Ricky." "Come on, man, let's nail it." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "Wait." "Hold on!" "ANNOUNCER:" "Whoa." "Look out!" "Ricky Wade barely avoids a major wipeout." "This isn't over yet." "Let's see how the judges score Ricky's jump." "4.1, 4.5 and 5.2." "And that means by four-tenths of a point Lakeside wins." "How do you like that, Miss Shavetts, huh?" "We'll see you next year." "Damn it." "(ALL CHEERING)" "Hey, tough take-off, man." "You all right?" "Am I all right?" "Oh, yeah, I'm just fine." "Probably doing a lot better than you right now, 'cause you got to go out and look for a new job." "New job?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Do you understand English?" "You're fired." "Fired?" "For what?" "Yeah." "For what?" "Well, let's think about this." "I got it." "It's probably because you tried to dump me in that lake back there." "Oh, man, you're so full of shit!" "You were the one that almost lost it out there, man." "Not me." "Oh, really?" "Yeah." "Why don't you be man enough to admit it, Wade?" "Well, you're fired." "I can be man enough to admit that." "Neil, I mean, do something." "Oh, no, no, no." "I'm sorry, son." "That's Ricky's decision." "KYLE:" "Thanks." "Thanks a lot." "Kyle, come back here." "You coming with me?" "Why, I'm supposed to decide..." "I mean leaving these losers and coming with me." "Kyle, I can't leave my grandpa." "Fine." "Then stay with him." "You did this on purpose." "Just to hurt." "Why did you ever have to come back here?" "Kelly, I..." "And how could you let him?" "Stuck in last night." "Really?" "Did you see that?" "You know something, Dick?" "I'm starting to like this joint." "You know what I mean?" "Relax." "What have you, never seen boobs before?" "Hey, wait a minute." "Are you calling me a sissy boy?" "Is that what you're inlluding to?" ""Inlluding to"?" "It's "alluding to." Okay, Nunzio?" "Alluding to." "Get something right." "So, you are calling me one." "Christ." "You think you know someone, they turn around, they stab you in the back." "Et tu, Bruno?" "Shut up!" "I never called you a sissy boy, okay?" "And it's Brutus, okay?" "Get it right. "Et tu, Brutus?" Not Bruno." "Moron." "WOMAN:" "Paging Dick and Nunzio." "Dick and Nunzio." "See Monica Shavetts in her workout room." "Did you release our recreation director?" "Yes, ma'am, no problem." "That's right, Mrs. Shavetts." "And I personally guarantee that dickhead won't be showing his stinking butt around here anymore." "Well, I have another assignment for you." "After this afternoon's rather humiliating events," "I have decided it's in my best interest to expedite Mr. Peterson's financial woes." "Am I understood?" "Yes, ma'am." "As Mr. Peterson still offers a money-back guarantee, the thought occurred to me." "What if things became rather unpleasant for his customers?" "Yeah, they'd ask for a refund, and he can't afford it." "Get on it immediately." "And be discreet." "Don't sweat it, ma'am." "Discreet is our middle name." "Funny, I thought it was "dickhead."" "Oh, my gosh, what a great day this was." "Did you see your grandfather?" "In all the years that I have known him I have never seen him so excited." "What's wrong?" "Don't you feel like talking?" "No, Jen, I was just thinking to myself." "Really, Kelly, about what?" "Oh, life, health, wealth, security." "What it would be like to sleep with the Terminator." "I'm sorry." "I just have a lot on my mind." "I know." "Kyle didn't call, did he?" "I don't care if he does." "Really?" "Why?" "Because of something he said today." "He called everyone over here losers." "He meant it, too." "People here are my friends and my family." "And I have no desire to be with anyone who thinks of them as losers." "Yeah, you know, I'm starting to feel the same way about Wes." "I mean, when Victor fell off his Jet Ski today, he just started chewing him out like it was the end of the world or something." "I really don't like that." "Why did Ricky leave you, Kelly?" "I never knew." "You know, the day he left, he didn't say a word." "And before that we never had any problems." "I mean, you knew us." "We never fought." "As a matter of fact, things were pretty terrific." "I was never happier." "Then all of a sudden it was over, like it was all a dream." "Who knows?" "Maybe it was." "(EXCLAIMING)" "(GRUNTING)" "If you don't mind, we got a teeny-weeny favor to ask y'all." "(GRUNTING)" "Shake well before using." "Stop that, will you?" "Pour the stupid thing." "All right." "These girls are going to look like Smurfs." "Hey, what is that?" "Oh, my God!" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "(SLOW ROCK PLAYING)" "Oh, God." "Not now." "Hi, Hillary." "Look." "I was just about to..." "Wait." "Please." "You don't have to explain." "I just wanted to apologize for all the trouble that I've caused you." "You just came here like everybody else to have a good time." "And it really hurts me to think that I'm the one ruining it for you." "I'm sorry, Hillary." "I'm really sorry." "Bye." "Wait." "It's Victor, right?" "I'm telling you, man." "Tonight Hillary is mine." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "I don't know, man." "Looks like you might have to wait in line." "Check it out." "I am going to kill that tub of lard." "Hey, chill." "Chill." "Look." "First of all, you kick fatty's ass, and Hillary is gonna be pissed at you and feel sorry for that guy over there." "Girls are all the same." "That's the way they work." "You got to play it cool." "You and I both know that." "Yeah." "Look." "We'll make sure that the boy from planet Vic gets his, and sooner than he thinks." "Just a matter of time, huh?" "BOTH:" "And how." "Nice night." "Oh, it's you." "Scared me." "Mind if I sit down?" "Well, until the lab results come in, I'll take that as a yes." "It's funny, I remember that the only time you used to come out here at night alone and sit on the dock was when something was bothering you." "I guess tonight that something is probably me." "Well, things are starting to get back to normal." "I mean, I'd fallen in love with Kyle." "I'd gotten over you." "Then you decide to just breeze back into town and mess everything up." "Now, wait a minute..." "No." "No." "You wait a second." "You think you can just parachute in here like nothing was ever between us." "Did you ever maybe consider how I might feel if you showed up again?" "Yes, I did, as a matter of fact." "I thought about that and I knew that you and Kyle were in love." "And that you had this relationship." "I mean, everybody around the lake knows about that." "And I thought that me being here wouldn't bother you at all." "Wouldn't bother me?" "You came in and fired him so that he'd break up with me." "That's not true." "I did not fire him so he'd break up with you." "But as a matter of fact, you breaking up with him is probably the best thing that could have ever happened to you." "I mean, why did you ever get involved with that jerk?" "Because the other jerk in my life took off and left me hanging." "Why did you leave me, Ricky?" "I left you" "because I was afraid, Kell." "You see, your grandfather always said that he wanted the best for you." "The absolute best." "You see, my problem is that Ricky Wade has never been the best at anything." "Ever." "And I don't want to bring you down with me." "I didn't want to destroy your future." "So I left." "I took off." "Because I cared." "I came back here because I cared." "Your grandfather cares a lot about you and he cares a lot about this camp." "And he wants you to have this camp when he's gone." "And I want to see that happen." "I'm sorry, Kelly." "So sorry I hurt you." "Please forgive me." "NEIL:" "Kelly!" "Kelly!" "Something must be wrong." "Grandpa's never up this late." "Tomorrow morning, I'm closing the camp." "I have no choice." "The mortgage and all these refunds..." "It's simply too much to handle." "Son, I want to thank you for everything you've done for us." "You brought back an awful lot of good memories." "Kelly." "Sweetheart, forgive me." "Oh, Grandpa." "(KELLY CRYING)" "Ricky." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "Do you have any broken glass I could gargle?" "What is it?" "Two of the biggest boobs I've seen all night." "How do I look?" "Great." "Come on." "These must be really special boobs if we have to sneak up on them." "These aren't boobs." "These are bad guys." "Son of a bitch!" "VICTOR:" "My bungalow." "Who did this?" "Oh, crap." "What?" "I had some rocks I was painting to look like dried fruit and nuts." "They must have took them." "(VICTOR SHUDDERING)" "I think these guys have seen too many movies." "Neil, I think I've got a solution." "But it's gonna take some big cojones." "My, my, if it isn't little Rick." "My, my, if it isn't little Dick." "MONICA:" "Dick, show him in." "Ricky." "How nice to see you again." "Please, come and sit down." "Would you care for a drink?" "Yeah, sure." "I'll have a double-chocolate decaffeinated milkshake with a cherry." "Always ready with a joke." "I like that in a man." "Here's your drink..." "Whoa!" "Kyle!" "Nice outfit." "Hey, listen, while you're standing there," "I got a little dirt on my shoe." "You mind polishing that for me?" "Stop." "Now, sit down." "I wonder if he shits on command, too?" "(CHUCKLES)" "That will be enough, you two." "Why did you want this meeting?" "I have an offer from Neil Peterson." "Oh, interesting." "Enlighten me." "He'd like to have a rematch on the ski meet." "Another ski meet?" "Why should we give you jerks another ski meet?" "Let me finish." "Now." "This time the stakes will be bigger." "Much bigger." "If Twin Oaks wins, he's going to accept that offer you made him the other day." "However, if Lakeside wins, you'll pay off our mortgage and leave us alone." "When do you propose this rematch?" "The day after tomorrow." "So soon?" "Well, for some unexplained reason, many of our campers have decided to leave." "Same rules." "Same judges." "What's your response?" "I accept." "But on one condition." "If Lakeside loses, you come back to work for me." "At minimum wage for a period of 5 years." "What?" "How important is this to you, Ricky?" "This isn't the world of chocolate shakes and extra cherries, you know." "This is the real world." "Are you going to put up or shut up?" "Well, Monica, I'll be putting up." "Come on, guys, let's do it." "Come on." "Anything's possible if you want it bad enough." "Look at Michael Jackson." "Wes." "Howie." "Looking good." "Hey, where did you learn to ski like that?" "Ladies and gentlemen," "I give you Victor, the ninth and tenth wonder of the world." "Hey, Victor." "Show me something special." "Come on, do it, baby." "Come on." "I know you can do it." "Come on do it, man." "Do it." "Do it." "Yes." "Yeah." "All right." "Way to go, Thigpen." "Shit." "All right." "Looking good." "Bring it on in." "Let's go." "Come on, stay on the ball." "Let's go." "Yeah!" "Jump the wake." "Let me see you jump the wake." "Yeah." "All right." "Solid move." "Way to go." "My curiosity toys with me." "Tell me, Mr. Linck." "What do you rate our chances tomorrow?" "Excellent." "Beyond excellent." "If I had a million dollars, I'd bet it all." "Well, I wish I had your confidence." "Unfortunately, I don't." "Which is why my two associates here are going to assist you." "In the background, of course." "Assist me?" "Why?" "We can win this thing, Monica." "I've put together an excellent team here." "You are a very good ski instructor." "But compared to Ricky Wade, well, you're a novice." "Look, it's nothing personal, it's just that, well, there's a lot at stake, and..." "Hey, now, be a good boy and run along and replenish my drink." "Everything prepared?" "I contacted Chuck Lewis." "We'll take care of it tonight." "Excellent." "And it's all centered around the ski jump." "Are there any questions?" "Anyone?" "Anyone?" "No?" "Good." "I don't think any of you could ever possibly realize the importance of this meet that we're going to have tomorrow." "To me, and to the future of Lakeside." "So, all I'm asking you is that you really try to go out there tomorrow and do the best you can." "Please." "Let's hear it." "Come on." "Beat Twin Oaks." "Beat Twin Oaks." "ALL:" "Beat Twin Oaks." "Beat Twin Oaks." "Beat Twin Oaks." "Beat Twin Oaks." "Beat Twin Oaks." "Beat Twin Oaks." "What are you doing?" "I thought I told you to wear black." "It was on sale, all right?" "Come on." "Hey, how much was the hat?" "Well, it was $3.95..." "Forget the stupid hat." "You do that again and I'll kill you." "It was an accident." "Accident?" "You're an accident." "Okay, come on." "Let's go." "Beat Twin Oaks." "Beat Twin Oaks." "Beat Twin Oaks." "Shut up!" "Okay." "I want to get back to business here." "I want you guys to go back to your cabins and get some sleep." "Look sharp." "I'll see you first thing in the morning." "All right." "Hey, you know something?" "Give me one minute, I'll be right there." "But I thought we're going to go to the dock." "No, go ahead." "It's okay." "Seriously, I'm just gonna hang out and clean up a little bit." "Go ahead." "I'll be right there." "It's okay." "Okay." "Yeah." "I'm really excited about tomorrow." "I think we're going to win, Hillary." "Me, too." "It's going to be so great." "Ricky asked me to straighten up the lodge a little before we split." "You think you can give me a hand?" "Sure, Wes." "Yeah?" "Great." "Guess I'll see you in the morning, Hillary." "Okay." "Good night, Victor." "Good night." "You know what?" "Tell you what." "I'll stack the chairs, okay?" "And why don't you take the chalkboard and stick it right over there against the wall?" "How does that sound?" "Sure, Wes." "Great, man." "Great." "Oh, no!" "Oh, God!" "(VICTOR CRYING)" "You all right, man?" "My arm." "I think I broke it." "Oh, man." "All right." "We got to get him to the hospital." "Turn him over." "Turn him over." "Help me out." "Get him up." "Get him up." "Come on." "WADE:" "Kelly, go get the car." "Okay." "(CRYING)" "Are you proud of yourself?" "What are you talking about?" "Cut the crap, Wes." "I know you and Howie set this up purposely to hurt Victor." "Do you think that humiliating people makes you a big man, Wes?" "Huh?" "No." "You are just like my old boyfriend." "You don't give a damn about anybody else's feelings." "And that makes you very small." "Very small." "I get the feeling she's pissed." "Shut up, Howie." "ANNOUNCER:" "Ladies and gentlemen." "Welcome to a very special unofficial rematch of last weekend's Challenge Cup Ski Meet." "All right." "Gather around." "Gather around." "This is it." "Listen up." "You guys lost the last one, but now you got me." "And I'm not a loser." "So let's check our equipment, go out there and kick some butt." "(ALL CHEERING)" "ANNOUNCER:" "As you may recall Lakeside defeated Twin Oaks..." "This is it, guys." "This is very important." "I need you all to do your best, okay?" "We're gonna go out there and we're gonna kick some butt." "You don't realize how much this tournament means to us." "I mean, I don't think you'll ever realize how much this tournament means to us." "We're gonna go out there, and we're gonna do it." "And, also, if you wouldn't mind," "I'd like to dedicate this day to our brother-in-broken-arms man," "Victor Thigpen." "Come on." "ALL:" "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "Victor." "ANNOUNCER:" "So, how about it, ladies and gentlemen?" "Let the rematch begin." "Our first contestant is Lakeside counselor Jennifer Lipton." "(SCREAMS)" "Oh." "ANNOUNCER:" "Next up, Twin Oaks Recreation Director, Kyle Linck." "Shit." "(GRUNTING)" "(EXCLAIMING)" "(PEOPLE CHEERING)" "(GRUNTING)" "(ENGINE CHOKING)" "Whoa!" "(SCREAMING)" "Ricky!" "Look." "Something happened." "ANNOUNCER:" "Oh my!" "There's been an accident involving Ricky Wade." "Let's hope he hasn't been injured." "This is unbelievable." "Hey, guys." "Guys." "Guys." "Vic, go away." "Listen to me!" "I need your help." "It's important." "(GRUNTING)" "Okay." "What happened?" "I don't know." "The engine just died." "Watch his leg." "Watch his leg." "Easy now." "(GROANS)" "How are you feeling, son?" "You ever play soccer with a bowling ball?" "That's about where I'm at right now." "Listen, we've got to get someone to replace Ricky." "We need every point we can get." "WADE:" "All right, okay." "Hey." "Come on." "Everybody come on, gather around." "Come on." "I got an idea here." "We're going to think for awhile and then after that we're going to think about it." "ANNOUNCER:" "Apparently Lakeside has entered another skier to replace Ricky Wade." "When we're done with that, we'll think some more." "Hey, you guys." "Who's that?" "ANNOUNCER:" "I have no idea who he is." "Wait a minute." "It's Neil Peterson." "Lakeside's owner and the only man to successfully complete the famed triple hinge." "(WHOOPING)" "Who are those guys?" "That's..." "No, no, no!" "Oh, my God." "Yeah." "Yeah." "All right, Victor." "Yeah." "ANNOUNCER:" "Now, let's look to our judges to see how they've scored Neil Peterson." "8.7, 8.8 and 8.5." "And that narrows Twin Oaks' lead to 3.2 points." "Grandpa, you handsome dog." "I didn't know you still had it in you." "Neither did I, sweetheart." "We now come to the men's ski jump." "And as usual, the outcome of the entire meet comes down to this, the final event." "Good going, man." "Something must have motivated you to get you out there, huh?" "Well, I had to do something." "This camp is all I've got." "It's all Kelly's got." "I know." "I couldn't let it go without a fight." "I know." "I wish there was something more that..." "Listen, don't feel bad, son." "You did everything you possibly could." "And I mean everything." "Be proud." "It's something I'll never forget." "What a terrific jump for Twin Oaks." "That certainly won't hurt their score." "Ricky, since you're injured, who's gonna jump?" "Oh, that's easy." "That's gonna be..." "Well, it..." "It's your choice." "You're the man." "I'm the man, right." "Todd Christy's score of 26.3 puts Twin Oaks ahead by 29.5 points." "Making Lakeside's chances of winning virtually nil." "What?" "Virtually nil?" "Virtually nil?" "Look down your pants, you'll find something virtually nil." "Kelly, give me my skis." "(ALL CHEERING)" "Let's go!" "What's this?" "It looks like Ricky Wade will be jumping for Lakeside despite an apparent leg injury." "You sure about this, Ricky?" "I was born sure." "Hit it." "Okay, here goes." "One." "Two." "Three." "Yes!" "Incredible!" "Ricky Wade has completed the triple hinge." "Only the second man to ever do it." "Unbelievable." "Now let's check the all-important scores." "Three perfect 10s." "Lakeside wins." "Lakeside wins." "Lakeside wins." "No." "No." "No!" "You bumbling idiots." "You're fired." "(SCREAMING)" "Hey, Nunzio, let's go back to the relocation program." "Yeah." "(ALL CHEERING)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)" "(HORN BLARING)" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "On time?" "Eight seconds late." "Oh, crap." "I got to get this baby tuned." "Hey guys, see you." "It was fun." "Bye, bye." "GIRL:" "See you later." "BOY:" "Drop me a line." "Take care." "Wes." "Howie." "Howie." "I had a good time." "Thanks, Jennifer." "I'll catch you inside." "Okay, man." "See you in a minute." "Well, these things definitely aren't easy." "I want you to know that I really learned a lot about myself because of you." "I want to say thanks." "Hey, take care, guys." "Bye." "Take care." "You got a little something..." "Well, I guess this is my cue, huh?" "Yeah." "All right." "Okay." "Bye." "Hey, Jennifer." "12-plus, huh?" "See you later." "See you next year." "Howie!" "Bye." "Bye." "Take care, you." "I'm gonna really miss you folks." "Neil, some day I want to be able to bring my kids to your camp." "You do that, son." "It'll be here." "Jennifer." "Goodbye, Victor." "I hope you had fun." "Thanks." "Oh, Victor." "Bye-bye." "Do you like my hair?" "You look terrific." "I think I'm gonna miss you most of all, Ricky." "Gosh." "I suddenly feel like I'm in The Wizard of Oz." "Take care, Thigpen." "Okay, no tongue, no tongue." "Now get out of here." "Come on." "Get out of here." "Go." "Bye, Victor." "Bye, Victor." "Bye, Vic." "Hey, Victor, where's your clothes, man?" "Victor, wait." "Wait for me." "Victor, I'll get us some good seats, okay?" "WADE:" "Hey." "Hey!" "Hey, Ricky." "You think my mom's gonna like her?" "I don't know, but your dad's gonna love her." "KELLY:" "Bye-bye." "Bye." "Well, another summer has come and gone." "But, you know, I have a feeling next summer is going to be even better." "Don't worry, Neil, I can guarantee it." "Leave." "The movie is over." "Go home." "The movie is over." "You paid your money." "You saw the movie." "Now go home." "Oh, I got it." "You're watching a video." "Okay, push "stop" now." "Better yet, push "rewind." That way you save the 50 cents." "Look, this isn't working." "Some movie star you are." "I was in Goonies." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)"