"I assure you, mr." "Sunderland." "You'll get what you're paying for." "And you, mr." "Clay..." "You'll get what you're asking for." "Whenever you're ready." "Wire for you, mr." "Paladin." "Hey boy, I didn't know you read hotel guests' mail." "Not always." "Only sometime." "When envelope is open." "Your mail easily the best in the whole hotel." "Thank you very much, hey boy." ""your presence required in florence, california." "Enclosed, money order." "$82.17."" "No signature." "That's not enough money for your newspaper for one year." "Well, it certainly is an odd amount." "Hey boy, hold my mail for the next few days." "After you're finished reading it." "You're going?" "I am." "$82.17." "Hmmm, business must be very bad." "Shave, mister?" "Want to clean up a bit?" "Shave's 15 cents." "Haircut's the same." "Both for two bits." "Clean-up's free." "All right..." "I'll take a shave." "Right over here." "Thank you." "You uh..." "Come a distance?" "That's right." "People in this town like gunfighting in the street?" "Oh, no." "Those two been growling at each other all week." "They started shooting this morning." "Fixed themselves up some cover, as you can see," "Then settled down to see who'd make the first mistake." "Why doesn't someone try to stop it?" "That's jeff sunderland and max clay out there, mister." "They're ugly men and they don't want it stopped." "Is that so?" "What's their quarrel?" "Belle hooper." "They both want to marry her." "Well, I guess charles darwin would approve." "He want to marry belle too?" "No!" "He's a scientist with a theory about survival of the fittest." "Oh." "Belle put them up to it?" "No, she don't want to marry either one of 'em." "She's got another fella." "Is that so?" "What's your name?" "Ernie teller." "Ernie..." "Where'd you get that card?" "Oh, this woman came in awhile back." "Think she must have been an actress or something." "She had the nicest hair I ever did cut." "Kinda red gold." "Anyway, when she reached in her purse to pay me," "The card slipped out." "Funny, she sure was mad about something." "She stamped on it when she left." "Red gold, huh?" "That's right." "Ernie... $82.17." "That amount of money mean anything to you?" "Reckoned you might be the one when I saw you ride in." "That'd be me that sent that wire." "$82 is all I had." "I was hoping you'd get here before it came to guns, and headed off." "I, uh..." "Suppose you wonder why." "I think I know why." "That third man, the one belle wants to marry." "That'd be you." "That's right." "Careful near the mustache, huh?" "You've got a nice touch." "Ain't much I do well but barbering's my trade." "'course I do a little vetting and some doctoring too." "40 miles to a real doc and..." "I kinda like to fix folks up." "Just patchwork, I don't know much yet." "Seems to me if this belle is the right sort of girl," "She'd marry you now and help you while you studied medicine." "Well, she would if..." "She wants something you won't give her?" "Like a gunfight?" "I just can't shoot anyone, mr." "Paladin." "I seen a lot of bullet holes." "Little and angry going in and..." "Real big and ripped coming out." "I hear a shot and..." "I see a hole through someone." "Well ernie, that's very touching." "'course you wouldn't mind if I made those holes for you." "I don't really want that neither." "Somebody's gotta do something to stop those two." "Belle thinks I'm just scared to get my head blown in." "You don't need a head if you're not going to use it." "Huh?" "If I gun down jeff and max," "Belle's gonna want you to fight me for her." "You wouldn't do that, would you?" "Wouldn't do what, ernie?" "You got no business out there with that fight going on." "Wouldn't do what, ernie?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "Ernie, maybe next minute jeff or max is gonna come" "Walking in that door saying, "belle, I killed him for you,"" "And grab me." "And who's to stop him?" "It'll be too late then 'cause he'll have a right." "You've got to stop that fight now." "The only way to stop that fight is to start another one." "I don't care." "Just so it's stopped." "You want ernie out there fighting those two men?" "I want ernie doing something!" "Where does he fit into this anyway?" "My name is paladin." "You could say I'm one of those innocent bystanders" "Who might get winged." "So I'll even the odds up a little bit." "Ernie and I will take on jeff and max." "All right, ernie?" "All right." "Why are you shaving in the middle of this gunfight?" "I figure tonight's gonna be my wedding night." "I have been hacking myself to pieces." "Would you give me a hand, ernie?" "Sure." "You best have some legitimate reason" "For interrupting me during a fight, sir." "Best reason in the world." "There's no point to it." "Should be stopped." "It's not your affair." "You better get out of this" "Before you get shot accidentally." "You're up against the wrong man, you know." "Your pardon?" "It's ernie here that belle wants to marry." "Wrong man?" "You're trifling with the wrong man, sir." "Tell him, ernie." "It's so." "That's remarkably bad taste on belle's part." "Still, ernie here can wait til I'm done with max." "You're wrong." "Way I see it," "It's you and max shooting it out montana style" "Against ernie and me." "You're beginning to annoy me, sir." "Well, that helps." "Before you use this gun, I'd like to remind you" "About that razor scraping your throat." "You are sorely tempting me to shoot you flush," "And no nonsense about a duel." "Well, I'll try the sporting man in you." "I'll be very happy to make a $1,000 side bet with you." "If it's montana style." "Done and done." "I'd admire killing you at a profit." "Just who is it I'll be killing?" "My name is paladin." "Ernie..." "What do I owe you for the shave?" "On the house, jeff." "You're a mealy-mouthed liar!" "Any word out of you is gonna be your last." "I repeat, belle wants to marry ernie." "Not you or jeff." "I'm betting now." "Jeff sunderland drew the first blood," "But I'm gonna drain all of his." "And belle'll be my woman." "If ernie wants to do anything about it," "He's welcome!" "Now get going, the both of you!" "Doesn't it make any difference that belle wants ernie, not you?" "Who cares what any woman wants?" "Told you to get going." "I fight one fight at a time." "No montana duel?" "No." "There's no way I can convince you?" "Listen you..." "I've killed plenty of men" "That caused me less trouble than you." "Now get going down that street," "And pray you don't get a bullet in the back of your head!" "Now max, you were saying?" "We'll finish this with guns, mister." "That's very clever of you, max." "Suggest a montana duel, of course?" "You talk better than I do." "We'll see how you talk with a mouthful of blood." "Max?" "Jeff?" "Ernie and I will take your wagon." "Oh no, you won't." "I don't believe you will." "Very well, you gentlemen take that barricade." "Now, you know montana rules." "One rifle, two bullets to each man." "Everyone breaks from cover at the signal." "Who gives the signal?" "The one appropriate choice." "No please, mr." "Paladin." "Methinks the lady doth protest too much." "She agreeable to you?" "She's fine, sir." "Max?" "Sure." "Ernie?" "All right." "We'll meet back here in ten minutes." "That gives you time to plan whatever strategy you want." "Let's go get a drink, max." "You should find this very amusing." "I wonder who it'll be that gets killed." "It'll probably make you feel much more like a woman," "Having four men shoot it out over you in the street." "Excuse me." "Why did you let 'em have max's wagon?" "It's the best cover." "I want them to have it." "Sun'll be in their eyes." "You have a rifle?" "You ever fire this?" "No." "I ain't gonna either." "There's a lot of people out there and gonna be more." "I might hit one of 'em." "About the only thing I'm not going to hit," "Is the thing I'm aiming at." "That fella who thought up that survival of the fittest." "Darwin." "Yeah, that's him." "He wouldn't think shucks of me, would he?" "I'm just not very fit." "Not here." "Don't know how to kill people." "Don't want to neither." "And that's no likely way to survive." "Not around here." "Just don't seem fair that surviving" "Has to mean killing somebody else." "I just ain't gonna try it." "Ernie, your reasoning's fair enough." "But when a man comes after you with a gun," "Reason becomes merely words." "Survival means action." "Somebody's gotta start settling things without guns." "Somebody just has to be the first one." "You're not the only one here with a survival problem." "Someday this country won't be so hard." "People like you will still be here," "And the killers will be dead." "But for now..." "Put two bullets in that." "I'll be right back." "Your horse?" "And my rifle." "Mind if I borrow it?" "I'll pay for the bullets and the drinks later." "I've seen jeff and max use their rifles." "Could you buy me the drink before the fight?" "All right, let's do it that way." "I haven't time to change my will" "To include a liquor request." "What do you allow for the sights?" "'bout four inches to the right, every 100 yards." "Hey charlie!" "Get out of the way." "You want to get shot?" "It also drops about two inches." "All right, I'll buy you that drink now." "Well, there's no real hurry." "Come on." "What do you drink, mister?" "Whiskey, and my name is hank." "Whiskey." "You gentlemen planned your fight?" "You'll find out soon enough." "To your discomfort, I trust." "That's a very apt toast." "To the discomfort of our enemies." "I suppose you're determined to go through with this shootout." "Now listen to him, crawling around." "After all you've done to start this fight." "Are you seriously trying to call it off?" "Not at all." "I knew that in the heat of your own battle," "Reason could never prevail." "But I thought now you've had a chance to cool out," "You might possibly understand the reason" "Of letting belle choose the man she wants to marry." "Sorry, my mistake." "Maybe your last mistake." "Yours and that barber's." "Or any with a rifle." "It's gonna be something to see." "Tell the truth, sir." "You're trying to back out 'cause you realize that once the shooting starts," "You'll be out there all by yourself." "You choose to misunderstand me." "Hank?" "Mr. Sunderland, I assure you" "You'll get what you're paying for." "And mr." "Clay, you'll certainly get" "What you've been asking for." "Any time you're ready." "Help yourself, hank." "Mister..." "Mister, what was it again?" "I think I'd just as soon be plain mister to you, belle." "What you said before could be true." "A fight over a woman usually starts with a woman." "Yes, I did encourage max and jeff a little, but..." "Some of it's ernie's fault." "He's got to show some bit of spunk." "A wife would be entitled to some protection, and the children." "It can be hard just to grow to be old enough" "To protect yourself out here." "Nobody thinks ernie can do it." "He agreed to fight." "Because you came." "You're awfully good with a gun, I saw that." "Now it's ernie needs protecting." "Maybe this is all on my head and..." "I ain't asking you to like me for it." "But don't let him get hurt." "Well, it's late for that." "Please, listen to me." "I want you to understand this." "I had a father who didn't believe in violence." "He'd never fight." "He turned the other cheek." "We ran from town to town." "Soon as the people saw the way he was," "The bullies would be on us." "They roughed him and they laughed at him." "And they made free with all of us." "Maybe my pa was in the right." "But that didn't make it hurt less." "No, mister." "Not for my kids!" "Here." "Use that to signal with." "Belle, maybe this'll turn out all right." "Ernie!" "Which one do you want?" "Both." "Well, you won't need those." "Hank!" "All right, let's see 'em." "Here's my $1,000." "And mine, sir." "Let her hold the stakes." "I don't care to empty a dead man's pockets." "Please call it off." "If I did anything or said anything" "To make you think that..." "Let's go." "I'm not at all a drinking man but," "Right now I wish I was." "I uh..." "I didn't load the gun." "The bullets are in the sand out there." "I know." "We'll have to break out of here at the signal." "Get behind that water trough," "Keep your head down and stay there." "Drop it, max." "Drop it!" "Shame, max." "Shame!" "Can't you count?" "You all right?" "No." "Gunshot." "Good." "Well, stakes are yours." "I'll ride you as far as the dock." "Thank you." "Oh, ernie!" "Belle." "You didn't even fire that old rifle." "Makes no difference if you didn't hit anything," "You could have at least fired it." "Oh, ernie!" "You didn't even load it!" "You think that's funny?" "How many of you would have come out from behind a barricade" "Without any ammunition in that rifle?" "If I were you, I'd concentrate" "On being a good enough wife for ernie." "Unless you don't recognize quite a man when you see one." "Oh, ernie." "You're a blind fool." "Sorry, belle." "It's just the way I am." "I guess you'll just have to take it or leave it." "Oh, ernie." "I love you." "Oh, belle." "May I offer my best wishes," "And trouble you for my $2,000, please?" "Oh, yes." "How'd you ever come to know a man like him?" "Uh, well..." "Ours was a financial relationship." "How much did you pay him to come here?" "$82.17." "Oh, that's just about all you ever saved up." "And it's much too much." "Besides, you won $1,000." "I had the size of my fee in mind, when I made the bet." "See I'll call the $82... $83, a wedding gift." "Except I'll just take out $10 for my expenses." "Thanks." "It's just a matter of standing up to someone." "A doctor's the last man folks pay," "And you're gonna have to learn how to collect on your bills." "So you see, the next..." "¶ have gun, will travel reads the card of a man ¶" "¶ a knight without armor in a savage land ¶" "¶ his fast gun for hire heeds the calling wind ¶" "¶ a soldier of fortune is the man called...¶" "¶ paladin ¶" "¶ paladin, paladin where do you roam ¶"