"Professor:" "watch where you're going.!" "Flagstone." "Do you realize we always seem to land on sometling lard?" "Quinn:" "Don't complain, Professor, next time it could be spikes." "How long are we here for?" "Three days, six hours." "Professor:" "Mmmm.!" "Just smell that fresh clean air.!" "Quinn:" "Too bad Fislerman's wharf never smelled this good on our world." "Rembrandt:" "Yeah, well, wherever we are, they sure got a lot of fine-looking women." "Must be a Saturday." "Everybody's out shopping." "Well, things look kind of normal." "Professor:" "Yes, it often looks normal, but it's just madness underneath." "Wade:" "Hey, guys, look at that." ""Brooks Sisters. "" "Maybe on this world women have finally broken through the glass ceiling." "I wouldn't mind finding a men's store." "I've had these duds on for the last three worlds." "( gasps )" "Hi, sweetheart." "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "I didn't know you were into toys, Professor." "You can learn a lot about a culture by looking at the way it entertains its children." "No guns or war toys." "Not one item is a weapon of any kind." "Yeah, they got "Johnny Cage" from "Mortal Kombat,"" "but they have the boy sitting at a tea party." "( nervous giggling )" "Uh, guys?" "( women gasping ) what the devil do these women want?" "This must be another world where l'm a superstar." " ( screaming )" " Let's get out of here." "Rembrandt:" "Ladies, give a guy a some room!" " Ladies, let me go!" " Woman:" "Unit 10 requesting back up." "Meet back at the Dominion!" "Unit 10 requesting backup!" "Unit 10 requesting backup at the corner of Market and 1 4th." "Repeat, escaped breeders!" "Now!" "Hey, I'm going down!" "I'm going down!" "I'm going down!" "Quinn:" "what if you could travel to parallel worlds?" "the same year, the same earth, only different dimensions?" "A world where the Russians rule America?" "Or where your dreams of being a superstar came true?" "Or where San Francisco was a maximum security prison ?" "My friends and I found the gateway." "Now the problem is finding a way back lome." "( theme music plays )" "( phones ringing )" "There is not a single man in this whole place." "is it possible that we have landed on a world where there are no men?" "Wouldn't that be a kick?" "The only guys on a world filled with love-starved women?" "Gentleman, we made a slide to heaven." "I don't think so, guys." "They arrested us, remember?" "Maybe that was for our own protection." "You saw how they were out there." "Gentlemen, this way, please." "All I'm saying is, don't say anything until we figure out what's going on." "( women giggling )" "Gentlemen, I could drive trucks through this story." "Do you think perhaps you could cooperate?" "We're trying to be helpful." "Madam, instead of worrying about where we came from and how we got here, just accept the fact that we're here now." "Ready." " Willing." " And able." " Detective?" " Yes?" "We have a lead on the woman who was seen with them." " Miller's already on it." " Good work." "Detective Specateli, are we being charged with a crime?" "Because if we are, maybe we should see a lawyer." "Did I say you could talk?" "Did the words, "Hey kid, want to say something?"" "leave these lips?" "I don't think so!" "Sit down!" "How did you escape the virus?" "Well, we" " Took a lot of vitamins." " ( laughs )" "This is not a game!" " You want to play games?" " that's enough, Detective." "Woman:" "You're upsetting them." " Dr. Morris, let me do my job." " l said, enough." "The Bureau has final jurisdiction here." "Arrange for transportation to the center." "Rembrandt:" "Just like being on tour." "At any moment you could be overrun by groupies." "Not a totally unpleasant prospect-- time permitting." "Guys, eyes on the ball." "Excuse me, you said you were from the Bureau." "Are you from the fbi?" "No, BRP." "what's that?" "Bureau of Repopulation." "Ah!" "Damn reporters." "Your information's correct." "They've got three more." "Woman:" "We've traced their landier to the Dominion Hotel." "I'll keep you posted." "People, people-- ladies, just back right off." "I'll answer all your questions in a minute." "Excuse me." "what's going on?" "is there a convention or something?" "They're taking summer applications for our repopulation center." "Every hotel in town is jammed." "TV reporter:" "Unconfirmed reports suggest that the patriots escaped from an enemy breeding camp in Canada." "Here, in footage slot moments ago, the men arrived at the Oakland Breeding Facility, where it's expected they'll be pressed into service as quickly as possible." "Doctor Elaine Morris, director of the Bay Area Breeding Center, refused any comment, but channel 8 News has been told that a full investigation is underway." " Doctor:" "Again." " ( coughs ) lt's normal." "EKG's normal." "Overall physical condition: prime." "Grade "A" status." "Immediate assignment." "There, that wasn't so bad now, was it?" "Not if you don't mind being graded like a piece of meat." "Let's give him the evening to get acclimated." "I want to get off to a bright and early start in the morning." "Five times a day for the first week and... we'llsee how he does." "You said something about a "first week"?" "Yes, that's right." "You see, that's going to be kind of a problem." "We're only in town until Wednesday." "We're really just sort of passing through." "Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to change your plans." "You saying we're prisoners here?" "No." "No, not at all, Mr. Mallory." "You're a patriot." "P.A. :" "Dr. Morris, please report to stimulation room 16." "An orderly is needed immediately in the Compatibility Center." "Man:" "oh, but that's so slow." "I could make it real high." "Knock it off, Trev." "Knock it off yourself, you bloody wimp." "Man:" "I gotta meet that Brad guy." ""Cock-of-the-walk" Australians." "Trevor Grant?" "Tell me, what has Mr. Grant done to earn so many "Breeder of the Month" awards?" "215 confirmed pregnancies for the month of February alone." "Incredible." "Arrogant bastard." "But the alpha males, they do the work of 10." "We're just lucky he defected." "Lucky?" "!" "Allowing that idiot to breed at that rate could set your civilization back by 10,000 years!" "Quinn:" "Professor.!" "Do you believe this place?" "It's like a buffet of love." "You all right, Professor?" "You look a little green." "I have just had a disgusting protein drink thrust down my throat by a female amazon!" "I tell you, any fantasies l may ever have..." "about nurses has been dispelled forever." "Quinn:" "Come on, let's take a steam." "Quinn:" "Apparently there was a conflict in the Middle East here years ago." "The Iraqis released some kind of viral agent that attacked the Y-chromosome." "Jeez, how is it any man survived at all?" "Natural immunity, Mr. Brown." "No matter how virulent the infection, statistically, a few will always survive." "And now, the industrial nations are engaged in a race to repopulate." "what?" "These men are all captives here." "They're just cogs in some bizarre babymaking facility." "The point is, we slide in 59 hours." "We've got to get a message to Wade." "More important than that, we have to find a way out of here." "Hey-- so you guys are the new guys, huh?" "Yeah, we just..." "got in today." "You-- you really looking for a way over the wall?" "As a matter of fact, we are." "Just keep your backs to the camera." "what's with the security?" "Are you kidding me?" "You know how many countries would kill to get their hands on us?" "Failing that, prevent us from breeding?" "I heard some guy in the gym mention something about Iraq." "Are we at war with them?" "Iraq's a wasteland." "It's nothing but ladies." "It's Australia, man." "Australia a superpower?" "that barren continent was barely suitable for an English prison." "that "barren continent" was far enough away from the poison cloud to suffer the fewest casualties." "They started this thing with over 1 1 ,000 men." "Not to shirk our patriotic duty, but we've got to get out of here." "Well, my wife and sister are planning to bust me out." "All they're waiting for is a signal." "I can't guarantee you that we're all going to make it, but I could sure use a little extra manpower." "You in?" "You can count on it." "Man:" "Move it!" "Move it!" "The searchlight." "Watch out." "It's slippery here." "There's a stream up ahead." "Everybody in the water." "Quinn:" "what about the wall?" "Man:" "Don't worry." "My wife and sister are supposed to take care of that." "Rembrandt: "Supposed to"?" "what do you mean, "supposed to"?" "Man:" "Shh, the guard." "( police radio clatter )" "Okay." "Let's go." "( police radio clatter )" "( wlistle blows )" "( alarm blaring )" "Professor:" "Go!" "( groans ) You got it." "Okay?" "Okay." "Code four!" "We have a situation!" " Let me go!" " On the ground, now!" "Come on, Professor!" " Come on, Professor." " Just lang on." " Let me go!" " On the ground, now!" "You don't understand, I have to get inside!" " You and 40 million others, lady." " Please, I want..." "Hold your fire!" "Quinn:" "All right, Rembrandt." "Tlree up, one to go.." " Come on.!" " Ahh!" "Professor:" "Come on, Mr. Brown.!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "( groaning )" " We have a situation!" "On the ground, now!" " Please!" "Get in, quick!" "Hey, no time for that now, people!" "Code four." "We have a possible escape." "My friends think it's immoral to want a monogamous relationship." "Yeah, "friends"-- that's a joke." "People are going to judge us, David." "They can't understand that the thought of you with thousands of beautiful young women is painful to me." "The love that dare not speak its name." "How long have you two been planning this escape?" "Ever since Diana's application was first rejected at the BRP." "On what grounds were you rejected?" "I'm not pretty enough or young enough." "They want "perfect" women to create the perfect species." "They don't need grounds, Professor." "Offend the wrong petty bureaucrat, you're history." "So what do you do now?" "Well, I think we've got enough food and supplies for a couple of days." "We'll wait till things die down and then make a run for Mexico, where there's no forced breeding." "You're welcome to take the run with us." "Thanks, but I think our plans call for more drastic action." "Diana, we need you to lelp locate a friend of ours." "Clerk:" "Good morning, Dominion Hotel." "Yes, I'll cleck with her." "It's just awful, isn't it?" "The way this government overtaxes its breeders, I don't blame them for escaping." "Why?" "what do they do to them?" "Six, sometimes seven women a day and all those hormones they're forced to take." "Really?" "It's tragic." "And there are so many good people who sympathize with them and want to help." "If only we could get a message to them." "Wade Wells?" "Call for you." " You can take it on the house phone." " Excuse me." "Hello?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's me." "where are you guys?" "Woman:" "Dijon, this is the most amazing product I have ever seen in my life." "All I do is spread the seeds, keep him watered and he'll actually grow?" "that's right." "And the beauty of the "Grow Your Own Chia Man,"" "is you control how fast or slow you want him to mature." "that is so amazing." "Okay." "Now, Dijon, like many women out there, I am a little bit concerned about size." "So how do I control that?" "It's simple." "If you prefer tall men, water him regularly." "For those gals who prefer their fellow a little more compact, once a week is all you need." "Isn't that fabulous?" "( applause )" "Huh." "And we thought TV was bad on our world." "Listen to some of this" ""Sisters:" "the Outlaw Years."" ""Hanging with Mrs. Cooper."" "this has got to be my favorite," ""the fresh Princess of Bel Air. "" "Where the devil is she?" "Oh!" "So exciting!" "Find what you're looking for?" "Mmm, thanks." "I didn't exactly understand from David why you decided to escape." "It's kind of hard to explain." "Your friend Wade, she must be an incredible woman for the three of you to take such a risk." "If the BRP thinks you're a defector, they'll shoot to kill." "Diana, I just got off the Internet with our friends from the south." "There's a way station in San Luis Obispo." "They'll be waiting for us at daybreak." "Go the rest of the way by boat." "You sure you won't come with us?" "Paradise found, paradise lost." "It's funny how reality has a way of screwing up fantasy." "Not a thing about modern reproductive techniques." "No in-vitro fertilization, no donor eggs, nothing." "They'd be more interested in my brain cell-count than my sperm count." "I could have taught these people how to repopulate the Earth in a generation and a half." "Well, it's like they say, Professor," ""A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country."" "Well, this is certainly not our country." "Where are you going?" "To find Wade." "She should have been here hours ago." "Mr. Mallory, you can't do that." "You'd last out there about as long as a pork chop in a pool of piranha." "We can't just sit here!" "Mr. Mallory, that is exactly what we must do." "He's right." "what if they've got her?" "If they have her, then they have the timer, and we could be stuck here for the rest of our lives." "( rapping code rhythm )" "Where the devil have you been?" "Nice to see you too, Professor." "what took you so long?" "Back streets." "Maybe I'm paranoid, but I think someone was following me." "Where's the timer?" "what're you talking about?" "I thought you had it." "No." "You had it when we made the slide." "You had it when we separated." "Ta-da!" "( laughs )" "David, Diane, Wade Wells, our tormentor." " Hi." " Nice to meet you." " ( tires screecl, siren wails )" " Oh, God." " Upstairs!" " Go." "Please, hurry!" "Go, go, go!" " ( screams )" " Police!" "Hands above your head!" "Let's go-- quickly." "Tear the place apart if you have to." "You have no right to do this!" "Search warrant." "Read all about it." "Quinn:" "Unbelievable." "Quiet!" "They're coming up the stairs." "Shh." " Where's the handler?" " what handler?" "The woman I followed here-- the woman who's hooked up with the escaped breeders." "Officer:" "I don't see them in here." "We're going to lave to put the leat on the wife." "I got to get back to her." "Listen, then you'll both be in jail in separate cells." "Did it ever occur to you before you trampled on my civil rights, that you might have the wrong house?" "Well, it's kind of a dark street." "that's it." "I'm calling my lawyers." "I will sue the BRP, the SFPD." "I'll have both of your badges." "Officer:" "Detective.!" "You're going to want to see this." "( detective laugls )" ""Wrong house," yeah." "Detective:" "they're here somewlere.!" "Look for a crawlspace, a trapdoor-- sometling." "Guys..." "Officer:" "Let's do it again." "the roof." "( siren, police radio clatter )" "No longer here." "I'm going back to the station, all right?" "See you there." "( lelicopter wlirrs )" "Where are they?" "They've must've gone through the attic." " We're starting a house-to-house." " You let them get away?" "No, Doctor, the BRP let them get away." "I'm trying to get them back." "Okay, which way?" "Less traffic this way." "In case we get separated, meet me in the park behind the statue tomorrow at 3:00." "Come on, let's go." "( tires screecl )" "Q-Ball!" " ( gunslot ) - ( Quinn groans )" " Rembrandt:" "Quinn!" " Go, go, go on!" "Quinn!" "Run on!" " l'm all right." " Go, go, go!" "Come on!" "Stand back, ladies." "Ahrgh-hh!" "( gunshot )" "Oh..." "damn." "All right, get him in the van." "Get in!" "Quick.!" "Hurry up.!" "( groans )" "Get in!" "Go." "Go." "Morning." "Where--?" "( groans ) How long have I been out?" "About 10 hours." "Lie back." "Whatever it is they shot you with is still in your system." "You're going to need some rest." "Get your strength back." "I brought you something to eat." "Honey pecan crumble." "You don't recognize me, do you?" "I'm Jane Hills." "I own "Mrs. Hills Bakery"?" "Are you kidding?" "My mom used to buy your coffeecake all the time." "Really?" "My husband and I started with one little store and now we have-- well, I have over 150 outlets." "The virus?" "Yeah." "We hoped to build the business while we were still young and have a family later, but the virus had other plans." "what's wrong?" "My friends are in trouble." "I got to go." "Listen, even if you were physically able, it's not a good idea." "It was posted in the lobby this morning." "But the good news is, your friends haven't been re-captured." "Listen to me, I can help you." "I can't ask you to do that." "I feel I'd be taking advantage of you." "I'm a big girl." "If I want to be taken advantage of, that's my business." "But, I can't pay you back." "Well, actually, you can." "TV reporter:" "At this lour, police say the four missing breeders and their female accomplice are still at large." "The BRP and the SFPD..." "You know, I don't get it." "I mean, if it wasn't the cops who grabbed Quinn and Arturo last night, who were they?" "My guess, Australian M-7." "Who?" "Aussie operatives." "They're so bold, they broke into the repopulation center." "They got caught with 250 pounds of saltpeter." "David, if the Australians got the others, where would they take them?" "Their consulate, I guess." "what are you thinking, girl?" "If we can get into the consulate, we can slide out of there." "Yeah, that's no problem." "We'll just walk up to the enemy and ask them for a guided tour." "Not quite." "We're going to defect." "Good morning, Mr. Arturo." "Sleep well?" "It's Professor Arturo, and no, I did not sleep well." "Do you imagine you can snatcl a man off the streets witlout there being consequences?" "Quit your bitching, mate, and save your strength." "We got a lot of lassies waiting for you." "I beg your pardon?" "You're no Trevor Grant, but you'll do." "The "baby gap," you know?" "And eat your Vegemite." "You'll need to maximize your sperm count where you're going." "And where would that be?" "Canberra." "We got a right nice breeding facility there." "G'day, Professor." "( sighs ) Good Lord." "How ya doing?" "( lauglter )" "This is the absolute rock bottom." "You'll be fine..." "just as soon as you get rid of the mustache." "You can forget that." "I've had the "stache" since high school, I'm not shaving it for the world!" "Are you crazy?" "Rembrandt, you have to!" "Huh-uh." "The dress and the heels are enough of an indignity." "All right." "Wait a minute." "Try this." "Not bad, if you're looking to rob a train." "Let's just hope there's no moon." " Rembrandt." " what?" "You're walking like a guy." "Try to take smaller steps, and don't swing your arms so much." "How's that?" "Well, don't be surprised if no one asks you to the prom." "Hey, how come I feel 10 pounds heavier?" "There's still time to reconsider." "My lawyer ought to be calling back any minute." " l can't leave without Diana." " You're sure?" "Okay." "( sighs ) Take care of yourself." "All right." "You, too." "Let's do it!" "Rembrandt:" "Yeal, let's do it." "You better not ever tell anyone "The Crying Man" did this." "Your secret's safe." "Unless of course, we get out of this mess." "Jesus, my legs are freezing." "I told you to wear the pantyhose." "I can honestly say I never thought anyone would say those words to me." "So what if they're not there?" "No time to be negative, Rembrandt." "We can't afford it." "Wade:" "I need to speak with the Consul General." "I have a defector from an American breeding center who's seeking sanctuary in Australia." "Open the gate." "Professor:" "Good gracious me." "Miss Wells!" "Rembrandt, look." "Up here, Miss Wells!" "Let's go!" "Move it!" " Professor:" "Hurry.!" " that man is an American citizen!" "He is being leld against his will.!" "what is going on out here?" " Professor:" "Quinn's not here.!" " You?" "!" "They say he wants to defect." "I know we need men, but not the kind that dress like this." "I demand to see Maximilian Arturo and Quinn Mallory, or there's no deal." "Who is Quinn Mallory?" "Girl, we've stepped in it now." "Listen, you little twit, you are not going to ignite an international incident." "Now do as you're told!" "This is bad." " We can't slide without Q-Ball." " that's if we slide at all." "Where the hell are they taking us?" "I heard something about a shipping container." "Where are we going?" "what do you think, we're going to let you out so you can go screaming to the United Nations?" "Our mates across the Pacific will figure out what to do with you." "You're making a mistake." " what if I can get you Trevor Grant?" " Get in the car." "Listen to me." "Who's going to mean more to your handlers back in Canberra?" "A national treasure, or an American transvestite and an overweight Englishman?" "Oh, man, that's cold." "It's a stall." "It's desperation talking." "Wait." "Start talking." "what's up?" "I checked the Dominion Hotel, nobody at the BRP seems to know anything." "I'm sorry." "We could stay here, you know, or we could get to Mexico." "I don't think so." "You're upset with me, aren't you?" "is what I'm asking so outrageous?" "If I say "no," it sounds like I'm rejecting you." "If I say "yes"..." "what would be so awful about fathering my child?" "Or do you feel I'm pressuring you into a greater commitment?" "that's not it." "Even if it was something we both agreed on, I don't want to have a kid..." "I 'llneversee." "Quinn, I'm not an approved recipient." "I've come to terms with not having another man in my life, but to face life without a child-- to have no one to love, or who loves me-- fathers are in short supply these days." "And a child needs love, Quinn." "A mother who'll love him, who'll sacrifice anything." "what, are you-- are you crazy?" "David, we can play both sides against the middle." "If I can pull this off, we'll all get what we want." "Yeah, well, I want Diana and I want my freedom." " You going to be able to arrange that for me?" " l think so." "How?" "Okay, look-- this is going to require a leap of faith." "Detective:" "You've got 30 seconds." "You want the patriots back?" "Change the attitude." "You said something on the phone about the Australians." "The Australians are prepared to broker a deal." "Three of the missing patriots for Trevor Grant-- in addition to the release of Diane Isley." "No, out of the question." "what if I told you Trevor Grant was about to go on the disabled list?" "what are you talking about?" "The security of the BRP has been breached." "An Australian double agent is on the list of approved recipients, and she's going to inject your superman with a mumps virus." "He'll be sterile." "Even if that were true, we'll stop them." "How?" "The only sure way is to stop all women from seeing him, and that sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?" "Trevor Grant is worth 1 ,200 pregnancies, tops." "The escapees are worth at least that, plus which, you'll be varying your gene pool." "Why are we doing this under a bridge?" "Wells said the Americans insisted on it." "Why is this exchange taking place under the bridge?" "Wells said the Australians insisted on it." "Where is Wade?" "I don't know." "But we are supposed to slide in six minutes." "Welcome lome, Trevor." "Dr. Morris, Detective." " Detective:" "Bitch." " The deal was three breeders for Mr. Grant." "Right here." "Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay." "Frankly, madam, I would sooner have had my liver eaten by a vulture." "So what do we do now?" "We can do nothing." "Wade has the timer." "Nice doing business with you, Yank." "Watch out for the wallabies." "Get in the van." "You." "Police radio:" "Unit five, unit five." "On my signal." "Unit five, your van will be late in arriving." " what?" " Someone ripped out the distributor wire." " l can't read you." " Now!" "Hey!" "Hey--!" "Detective:" "this is unit five." "I need a backup.!" " Where are we going?" " Just hang on." "( siren wailing ) what's going on here?" "what the devil?" "Distributor wire." "This baby's a rental." "( laughs )" "You are unbelievable, girl." "Yeah?" "Tell that to the rent-a-car place." "They're going to slam my credit when this thing doesn't come back." " Well, what about Quinn?" " You believe in miracles, Rembrandt?" "Start praying!" "Rembrandt:" "All right.!" "Wade:" "Hang on, guys.!" "Yes!" "Like I said, a leap of faith!"