"Is this the bus to the underworld?" "Uh..." "Yo... there's a chicken, right there." "That's a duck." "Learn your fowl." "Ducks are good luck." "It's a sign." "It's not a sign." "It's a sign that dude's having fresh duck for dinner." "Nope." "You think I got a shamrock tattooed on my ass 'cause I'm Irish?" "No, 'cause you a dumbass, man." "It's four-leaf clovers that are lucky, not shamrocks." " Aren't they the same thing?" " Oh, my God." " No." " Oh, my goodness!" "Man, whatever." "That bird is still a sign." "Oh." "I think the sign just took a dookie in its cage." "Yo, if this is y'all big plan to seduce me into staying' in the States, it's starting to smell." "Pun intended." "Like there's no stank in Amsterdam." "People too stoned there to notice." "How 'bout this?" "If you're hell-bent on abandoning your best friends..." " Oh, get out of here." " ...and the greatest country on Earth, for a place where you're sure to get hit by a bicycle..." " Oh, man." " ...and wear ugly clogs..." "Come on." "...we'll at least have had tonight with The Roots!" " Oh, The Roots!" " Philly in the house!" "I'mma be so fly out there, they gonna pull me up on stage." "Y'all watch." "You already smoke everything in that backpack?" " What?" " If they're pulling anyone on stage," " I mean, just look at me." "Look at me." " Mikey, Mikey..." "I will take you down, boy." "You know you're ticklish." ""She was extremely violent."" "That's how we start, right out the gate." ""We were dealing with a violent inmate."" "Don't give 'em any time to start in with their victim's rights crap." ""Our man was doing his job." "This was not about race." "We can't have our inmates attacking our cos."" "She weighed 92 pounds." "She couldn't attack your shoe." "It's not about size." "I knew a Filipino once who could hoist..." "You chewing gum?" "Helps me think." "Where are the police?" "Oh, I haven't called the police." "That's the last thing on the list." "Everyone back to their bunks, check." "Total lockdown." "All communication on blackout, check." "Phones are cut off, TVs are disabled." "And my guys have been told to brief the other COs on the story." "What story?" "What I was telling you before you interrupted me." " She was extremely violent." "We start..." " Piscatella, go home." "All due respect... there was an insurrection in this prison tonight..." "There was a peaceful protest in this prison tonight that became fatal when the men under your command got involved." "Someone died on your watch, Captain." "A human being." "You better believe we're gonna look into it." "And we're gonna be hearing many stories." "Not just the story you're telling, but many stories, including the one about why you came to Litchfield in the first place from the men's high security facility." "Yeah." "I did a little digging." "Like I said, get your things and go home for the weekend." "And if you try to pull any shit on your way out, if you try to undermine me in any way, oh, I will pull skeletons from your closet." "And throw the fucking gum out!" "There's no gum allowed!" "Get the hell out of here." "It's disrespectful." " Dimaguiaba?" " Yeah?" "What's happening with the body?" "Well..." "I was sent down here to take and record vitals." "No vitals." "That's what I wrote down." "I'm also supposed to assess injury, but I'm not exactly sure how to approach that." "That's why, uh, Foster is here from Max." " Hey." " Hello, Foster." "Oh, Captain Piscatella also told us to get Bayley some diazepam from the med closet." "Should we still go do that?" "Bayley's still here?" " What is it?" " Just take it, son." "Here." "Officer Dixon's gonna drive you home." "Okay." "Bayley, what happened out there?" "It's... it's all, like, jumpy in my head." "I was in the cafeteria, and Piscatella was telling us to pull them down." "So... so, I grabbed someone, and I was getting hit." "And then..." "I don't know." "I don't know." "I..." "I just wanted to help." "Yeah." "Is she gonna be okay?" "Man, what the fuck?" "Anyone gonna tell us anything?" " Inmate, back to your bunk." " Or fucking what?" "You're gonna kill me?" "You're gonna kill all of us?" "Ladies, it's lights out, except we're keeping all the lights on tonight." "But it's just like every other night." "Like every other night?" "Really?" "You should all be in your bunks." "Now, inmate!" "Or you'll be on your way to Seg, where I know they've freed up some cells." "Come on, T." "We'll find out more in the morning." " I don't want no morning." " I know." "It's way too fuckin' bright." "Inmate, bed!" "Come on." " I can't go in." " Then don't." "Come on." "You, you, go visit Abdullah." "She like company." "Come on now!" "We need us some shivah time." "Thank you." "Fuck, man." "Hey, why don't you sit?" "Don't wanna." "Anybody got any books?" "I need more books." "Oops." "Damn it." "What the hell are you doing?" "Wait, hold up." ""Alexander McCall Smith."" "I need more books, not take books away." "Uh, Taystee..." "you gotta deal with this." "Suzanne, I know you're tryin' to feel close to her," " but this..." " No, I'm not." "I want to know what it feels like..." "to not breathe." " Cut it out." " What..." " Uh-uh." "That ain't happening." " Taystee." "T..." "Taystee..." "I know where I can get more!" "Poussey keeps extra books under her bed." "Special books." "It's like the library VIP room under there." "Kept." "Keeps?" "Kept." "I understand..." "but I have to call the police." "A girl is dead." "She's lying on the floor of the cafeteria." "How long would you like me to sit tight for?" "Oh, Jesus." "You..." "I am sitting by this phone." "I am not moving." "You hear me?" "You figure out your plan fast." "This is not something that moves at corporate speed." "Do you hear me?" "Yes." "Yes, everything is locked down." "You're calling me back, right?" "All right, I..." "I'm waiting here." "I'll..." "I'll talk to you soon." "I'd never seen a dead body before." "You saw her, too?" "For a second." "I always thought dead would look like a person was sleeping." "But... it wasn't like that." "I saw my grandparents, but they were in caskets." "They looked like that puppet from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." "Lady Elaine Fairchilde." "I found my dad after he shot himself in the head." "Then my mom a few days later, but she'd swallowed a bunch of pills." "Oh, my God." "You're hearing this, right?" "I forgot to brush my teeth." "♪ You are the light in my dark world ♪" "♪ You are the fire that will always burn ♪" "♪ You are the light ♪" "♪ You are the light ♪" "♪ You are the light in my dark world ♪" "Alex." "Al... ♪ In my time of darkness... ♪" "Sorry." "Go back to what you were doing." "I didn't mean..." "It's..." "It's been a hard night." " Bayley?" " Oh, hey." "I gotta go." "Bayley, wait!" "Wait." "Stop." "You have... you have to go where?" "I have to get to them." "I have to tell them I'm sorry." "I..." "I am so sorry." "Who?" "Her friends." "It was an accident." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "I don't even know what I did." "I..." "I didn't even know..." "You can't." "You cannot go into C-Dorm." "They're grieving." "They're not ready to hear you." "Can you hear what I'm telling you?" "You should go." "Will you tell them then?" "Will you tell them for me, please?" "I..." "It was an accident." "I'm a good person." "You know that." "I didn't mean to hurt her." "Of course not." "Uh, you'll... you'll tell them, then, for me?" "Please?" "I'll let them know." "You should go now." "I'm so sorry." "Ooh, it's hot in here." "You hot?" "Listen, it's not your fault, man." "I mean, speaking as a big guy... sometimes you just don't realize..." "I mean, I've sat in chairs that have broken right under me." "Listen..." "I don't know if this will help or not, but... in Afghanistan..." "I killed some people." "Some innocent people." "People?" "So much time spent chasing' after the bad guys, and then you don't get 'em, and then they blow up your friends or shoot up your convoy, and you just get so mad, tired and bored." "So you just grab a farm kid from a grape field, and you make him juggle live grenades until one of them blows up." "And then you shoot him... because you don't want him to grow up without arms or tell on you." "Or maybe you just strangle a girl that you've had sex with in a small village because her family's gonna kill her anyway, right?" "And you just gotta get over it." "You have to get over it." "You got so much of your life to live, and we're so young." "We can't let things like this fuck up the rest of our long lives." "Now, I didn't see what happened exactly..." "but I know you." "Sort of." "You're a good guy." "I'm a good guy." "It was an accident." "Do you think people will forgive me?" "Sure." "It's the fourth one on the right." "Thanks for the ride." "Hey, man, listen." "It can get rough, the dreams." "And also being awake." "You're in for some hard times, but like I said... you gotta get over it." "Move quickly, ladies." "Thank you." " How you feeling, Red?" " How am I feeling?" "Better now that I've gotten a little sleep, but my back hurts a lot, my soul hurts a little... and I have to make sure that if they're killing us now, they don't kill one of mine." "You really think you can do something about it?" "I think I can make them feel safe." "Whether they actually are is another story." "Well, here's a thought." "We got one of theirs, they got one of ours." "Now we're even." "Ha!" "Nice thought." "Oh, no." "Uh, we got a problem." "What now?" "Anyone have eyes on Piscatella?" "I need him in the cafeteria now." "When people come to breakfast, this will really put them off their food." "How could they not move it?" " They don't know what to do." " They need to call the police." "They ain't gonna call the police." "They ain't doin' shit." "Fuck, the girl was murdered." "Leaving her like this, you'd think they'd have some humanness in them." "You think?" "Fuck!" "I stepped in gum." "Who the fuck had gum?" "Okay, ladies, go back into the kitchen." "I'll take it from here." "Someone please come to the cafeteria and wait with me." "Hello?" "You've got maybe one more day before bloat and putrefaction begin with the corpse." "After that, this room will smell forever like death." "How do you know that?" "Actually, I don't want to know." "Has anyone got eyes on the captain?" "Anyone?" "Please." "Caputo here." "Caputo here." "What's going on?" "Sir, this is McCullough in the dining hall where breakfast is about to start." "Um... there's still a certain inmate present, um, who's sure to cause certain problems once meal service commences." "Wait, what?" "Sir, the body is still here." "No one goes in there." "You hear me?" "No one goes in there!" "I'm coming down!" " Look who's up bright and early." " It's a new me." "Is it really?" "Uh, the kids are callin' it "lockdown rapid detox."" "And then yesterday, I mean..." "Jesus." "Talk about sobering." "Well, I hope it sticks." "Should I bring some of these to the grieving family?" "I'll have someone else bring them." "What you can do is tell our family that we're all meeting after breakfast, out by the garden." "What was the garden." "As close to the garden as we can." "Okay?" "Will you tell everyone?" "So, uh, what... you don't..." "you don't trust me to bring the juice?" "I don't think you're going to steal it, Nicky." " This is a situation where..." " What?" "Huh?" "Say it." "I can take it." "Death is uncomfortable." "And when you get uncomfortable, you talk too much." "I don't want you going over there making jokes or saying something really stupid like, "She's in a better place," or, "Everything happens for a reason."" "You don't mean to, but you try to fill the space because that's what you do." "It's not a judgment." "It's only..." "I know you." "You do." "You know me." "All right." "I'm gonna go tell everyone about the after-breakfast thing." "Thank you, honey." "Are you proud of me, Red?" "I am cautiously optimistic." "'Cause black lives don't matter." "That's why." "She's still lying in there." "They don't even have the respect to take her away." "And look at this shit." "Don't mean nothing." "They didn't know her." "Hey, is that a Heath bar?" "Hand that over." " Hand it..." " What?" "You rage, I eat." "We all have our way." " People are trying to be nice." " People are full of shit." "Uh, who brought that bubble water maker?" "Not her." "The skinny one bought it." "Yeah... people are full of shit." " How heavy you think this bench is?" " Stop it, Suzanne." "Please." "I can't." "Not today." "I find you with this bench upside down on your titties, I'mma lose it!" "I swear." "I'm very sorry for your loss." "She was a good kid." "And if you're having a send-off for her," "I'd like to contribute one of my commissary casseroles." "It looks disgusting, but it tastes good." "I just need a few hours heads-up." "Gotta get some ingredients and some real time with the microwave." "I wanna do that for you." "You don't know what we're going through." "You don't know what this is like for us." "And now you come around wantin' to make some ugly-ass casserole?" "Yo!" "Like that's gonna make everything all right?" "I think what she's trying to say is, "Thank you." "It's very thoughtful."" "I get it." "When my cousin Nino got shot and dumped in the Gowanus Canal, my brother took a bat and whacked every bald-headed guy he came across." "Then it turned out it wasn't even Bald Mario who'd done it." "It was Nino's girlfriend's father, who had a full head of hair, and was mad about Nino not putting his name on the birth certificate for the baby!" "Oy, was that a mess." "Anyhow... condolences." "I keep thinkin' she gonna come around that corner any minute now, and be all, "Hey, party people!"" "That goofy smile." "Man, it still ain't real, you know?" "I gotta go to work." "But it's Saturday." "You tell that Caputo to call the fucking cops!" "You tell them to arrest that murdering guard and get our girl off the floor, Taystee!" "You tell them!" "This shit ain't right!" "She never even had a cold." "Visits to medical, none." "What do you got?" "Non-violent offender picked up in Brooklyn for trespassing and possession with intent to sell." "Oh." "Not even half an ounce." "It's all soft." "Even her intake photo is adorable." "Shit." "Go online." "Facebook, Twitter." "See if anything she posted could be interpreted as threatening." "I don't see the point in any of this." "I need to call the police, and I need that body out of my cafeteria." "Yeah, we'll call the police the second we have an angle." "Okay?" "We're talking about death here." "And if we can't prove that it was either motivated or due to a preexisting condition, the MCC becomes liable." "Now, we need to be able to guide our brothers in blue when they get here, not to mention the press." "So... you wanna have a seat?" "Go through some files?" "See if we missed anything?" "Asthma attack?" "A violent outburst?" "Something?" "There was no condition and it wasn't motivated." "It was an accident." "Better yet... we'll handle it." "Hey!" "This is my fucking prison." "And you should go run it." "We'll call you when we're ready and we'll go over everything." "Then we will get the police over here, pronto." "Phones are still cut off, right?" "No one's coming in?" "Everyone's locked down?" "The phones are off." "And I canceled visitation, but I lifted the lockdown." "These women shouldn't have to sit trapped in their bunks." "Okay." "Hey!" "Nothing happens without my approval." "You hear me?" "We'll make sure you're comfortable with everything." "Okay?" "Oh, um..." "Judy King's being released today." "What?" "We can't have her around when this breaks." "In fact, we're trying to backdate the paperwork." "Yeah, we'll talk to her, make sure she'll cooperate, say she was already gone when all this happened." "I'm sure she doesn't want the headache either." "Jesus Christ!" "Check it!" "This picture's pretty thuggy." "Yeah, maybe, if we photoshop out the bunny ears." "Pull it." "We'll see." "You gave me bunny ears?" "No." "No, wait." "No, no, no." "You can't post it!" " Too late." " Ugh." "Man, Ali, you straight killing' my vibe!" "Aw, shit." "Wait, am I really baked, or am I reading that right?" "Yo, my weed don't make "S's" "Z's," man." "That's a "Z."" " That's "Rootz" with a "Z"!" " No fuckin' way." "My cousin CeeCee said she seen 'em here." "Even got a drumstick signed by Questlove to prove it." " Questlove with a "K" maybe." " Wait, wait, wait." "CeeCee, right?" "The one who interned with Jay Z?" "That one?" "Yeah, they don't call her Fox News 'cause she foxy." "Shit." "Lying liar lie person." "Fuck!" "Good evening, New York!" "We are The Rootz!" "Man, The Roots all got some serious vitiligo, man." " That Michael Jackson thing?" " Oh, no." "I did not pay good money to see some white Roots cover band." "Where is the manager?" "Yeah, you go get him, Aliyah!" "And tell him to buy us some damn drinks!" "Yeah!" "Let's pop some Cris in this mo'!" "No, no." "No, no, no." "You... you can't say that." "That... that is stupid." "You're just mad 'cause this some American-style bullshit!" "Yo, wait, hold up." "You got it?" "You got it?" "Yeah, I got you, man..." "Hey, hey!" "Man, he got my phone!" "She came right at him." "I saw it." "You know, I didn't think the little potato had it in him." "You should've seen him in the car." "He was a wreck." "Blake said that she was foaming at the mouth." "Oh, whoa, whoa!" "Come back." "Come here." "Dude, I can't..." " I can't let you go in there with that." " Sure you can." " I just keep walking." " No." "It's Girls Gone Wild in there right now." "Not the kind we like to jack off to." "A guy's gotta be able to defend himself." "From what?" "A five-foot chick who is probably in for cyber-squattin'?" "I heard she had a knife." " Did you see her foam at the mouth?" " Sure." "Look, we gotta stand behind our man with a strong story." "Too many contradictions, and we'll all be open for investigation." "Do you wanna find yourself explaining why you had a girl standing on a table, pissing herself?" "Listen, you guys got this cush assignment here." "I'm headed back into the lady lions' den, and they're out for blood." "It's actually the female lions that do the hunting'." "The guys just sit around licking' themselves." "Well, there you go then." "I'm gonna keep walking now." "Oh." "Um..." "You didn't have to come in today." "It's... it's a weekend..." "No." "I wanna be here." "See what I can do to help." "Keep busy." "Right." "Well..." "I'm not sure what I got for you." "Um, maybe I can call the police or the coroner?" "Uh, I can pull up their numbers right now." "Right." "Well, um..." "MCC is..." "It's just, they're not ready for that yet." "So she lie there alone on the ground like an old napkin?" "That ain't right, Mr. Caputo." "No... it's not." "But it is a crime scene." "So where's the criminal?" "He in jail?" "Taystee, if you want to stay here, you're gonna have to give me a break." "I'm doing the best I can." "She's not alone." "I posted a guard." "I had inmates put up privacy blankets." "I'm trying to take care of her." "Mr. Caputo?" "Is her daddy coming?" "Um, he's, uh..." "I'm not..." "You haven't even called her dad yet?" "Are you kidding me?" "I'm gonna call him right now." "I will call... now." "I don't have her file." "It's in with the crisis management team." "But as soon as I get it, I will call him." "I promise you." "I'll call Serena in registration and see if she can track something down." "Great." "That's a great idea." "Excellent." "Excellent idea." "I will be right back." "It's a terrible day." "They're gonna probably make us clean that." "Whoa." "Stop." "Stop." " You're gonna run over the..." " Stop." "Holy cow." "I have to watch her till the cops come." "How perfect for you." "An inmate you can totally control." "That's not funny." "We're just here to hang some stuff up over the grates so nobody can, like, look in." " Give her some privacy." " Mmm-hmm." "Does it matter at this point?" "I mean, I guess the ghost of her could be hangin' around, right?" "I mean, my uncle Kyle... when he had... when he OD'd and his body ended up in the river, he came to my room every night and he stole all my shit." "You know what, though?" "It could've been Kacey, his... his brother, because they looked exactly alike." "Yup, he kyped my entire coin collection." " Oh, then it was definitely the ghost." " Yeah." "See, he needed the coins to pay for passage across the Styx." "I didn't grow up in the sticks." "I grew up in town." "I love playing this game with you." "It really never gets old." " You all right?" " Yeah, yeah." " You sure?" " All good." "Damn it." "I'm sorry." " No, no." " Damn it." "Do you want to go talk or something?" "Go set up the ladder." "Okay... but don't go too far." " I'll be waiting, if you know what I mean." " You'll be waiting." "He knows what I mean." "Are you gonna be freaked out in here, with this body?" "Nah." "It's only the living that scare the fuck out of me." ""The garden is one of the two great metaphors for humanity." "The garden is about life and beauty and the impermanence of all living things." "The garden is about feeding your children, providing food for the tribe." "It's part of an urgent territorial drive that we can probably trace back to animals storing food." "It's a competitive display mechanism, like having a prize bull, this greed for the best tomatoes and English tea roses." "It's about winning, about providing society with superior things, and about proving that you have taste, and good values and you work hard." "And what a wonderful relief, every so often, to know who the enemy is." "Because in the garden, the enemy is everything." "The aphids, the weather, time." "And so you pour yourself into it, care so much, and see up close so much birth, and growth, and beauty, and danger, and triumph." "And then everything dies anyway, right?"" ""But you just keep doing it."" "Washington showed me this when I started the garden." "She thought I'd like it." "I do." "We're going to start again." "For our humanity, for this family, and for that little girl on the floor in the cafeteria." " Where?" " The cafeteria." "She's still there." "That's why we had breakfast outside." "I know that." "I'm saying where are we gonna redo the garden?" "Well, I was thinking by the fence..." "where the hole was." "We can dig up some of the grass, make a patch for ourselves." "Well, they're gonna think we're trying to split again." "How about, uh, near electrical?" "There's sun." "Luschek won't give a shit." "It's too open and the Latinas like to sunbathe there." "What about, uh, the make-out alley by the shed?" "I mean, all that heavy breathing should be good for the plants." "Mmm, good." "Nicky, Lorna, you two scout that, hmm?" "Gina, Anita, Norma, I need you to make lists." "What do we need?" "Where can we get it?" "Who are our allies in the administration who might help us?" "How can we protect ourselves and the garden?" "All of that." "Chapman and Vause..." "Well, what about if we poke around the old garden, and then somehow break into the greenhouse?" "I think that there's a guard posted there." "Yeah, but we'll be stealthy." "And he's the guy who sneaks his game thingy." "I've been watching." "Okay, team, get to work." "No job for me?" "I need you to help me up." "I think I'm stuck down here." "Ow!" "Jesus." "What are you really up to, Red?" "When my boys were little and we lived in a shit neighborhood," "I kept them busy." "Busy, busy." "Sports, chores, board games, outings, music, pillow forts, anything I could think of." "Because busy boys don't have the time to get into trouble." "I smell trouble coming." "I want this family busy." "What is that? "Poussey"?" "Is that, like, French or somethin'?" "I mean, is she... a black French?" "What?" "What?" "Uh-uh." "No, no, no, no." "No." "No." "No." "No!" " No!" "No!" " Come on!" "I'm clean." " Oh, what?" "I'm..." "I'm your prize?" " Mmm-hmm." "Your prize for gettin' clean?" "Is that what I am?" "How many fucking times do I have to tell you?" "I am married!" "We're having a baby!" "No, you're not, you know?" "I..." "That's..." "You're not!" "Yes..." "I am!" "You junkie... addict..." "liar!" "Yeah, you like that?" "How long is it gonna last... this time?" "What are you gonna Sweet 'N Low for it?" "'Cause it ain't gonna be me." "No, sir." "You psycho!" "What's the truth?" "What's the truth, huh?" "What's going on?" "I..." "I wanna know!" "I mean, what kinda contortions are your brain acrobats doin' up there in your fuckin' head circus, huh?" "I'm..." "I'm fucking everything up, okay?" "It's happening... again." "I'm watchin' it happening and I can't stop myself." "And he's gonna leave me 'cause of it." "And then what'll it do?" "I do." "What'll I do?" "You... you happy now?" " You happy 'cause it's ruined now?" "Yes?" " No, of course not, okay?" "Come on." "A junkie addict liar, eh?" "Happy people are not that." "I wonder if she's got family." "Who?" "You know, Washington." "The French black, RIP." " Oh." " Hell." "I imagined my mom getting that call." "I can't decide what's worse... if she heard I did it to myself... or if it went down like this." "Well, that's like asking if it would hurt worse to get your leg cut off or your arm." "It's your leg." "Obviously." "So, I saw him last night." "Bayley." "Yeah, uh-huh?" "Yeah, bad." "He asked me to tell her friends that he's sorry and that it was an accident." "Oh, no, no." "You can't do that." "Yeah." "I know." "I know." "I should have said no." "I cannot be getting involved in other people's drama." "But someone died." "I know nothing I can say is going to change that, but..." "I mean..." "I don't know." "Maybe it would bring them some relief, just knowing it was an accident." "He was just in way over his head." "He's not a bad guy." "He's not a "murderer" murderer." " Do you know what I mean?" " Yeah." "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "I'm just gonna reach through and see if I can get this tomato plant." " What is that?" " Nothing." "I couldn't reach it." "How'd it go with the window panes?" " No, what is that?" " Nothing." " That thing right there." " Nothing!" " What is this?" " Stop." "What is this?" "Get... get off of me!" " Get the..." "Get the fuck..." " What are you..." "How many of these are there?" "In the garden, or around the prison in general?" "Jesus Christ." "Fuck." "Shit." "Shit!" "Hey, excuse me, um... you know where the joint is around here with a Roots cover band?" " That's not a thing." " Yeah." "It's like, um," " uh, Baby's Got Back." " I'm sorry." "Fuck." "Hey, sorry." "Could... could I borrow your phone real quick?" "I got split up..." "No..." " I'm telling you..." " Cool, thanks." " ..." "Brooklyn women seem hard." " It's all a front." "It's just like..." "They're like..." " I dunno..." " Hey, there." "Um... could I maybe borrow your phone to make a quick call to my friends?" "Please, these boots were not made for walking, let alone running to chase your ass down after you take off with it." " They look good, though." " No, seriously." "My phone got jacked in a club and now I'm lost." "Your friends in Dubai or someplace with another country code?" "No, we was... we was gonna stay at another friend's place at, uh..." "Brooklyn later." "I..." "But I don't have the address." "You're cute." " Isn't she cute?" " So tiny." " Like a mini Whitney circa '85." " Mmm-hmm." " Put you in a coral sarong." " Mmm-hmm." "She should meet Whitney circa '92." "You should meet Whitney circa '92." "AKA Heidi Ho." "AKA Larry Tucker." "But don't ever repeat that because his day job's in healthcare." "Okay." "Really, I just wanna get back to my friends." "Come on, it's early still." "Your friends ain't going nowhere." "Make some time for some new friends." "Look, if you want my phone, you gotta come meet Whitney." " All right, let's go find Whitney." " All right, girl, come on." "Are they vegan?" "No?" "Okay." "What?" "Like the flying elephant?" "It's an acronym." "Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass." "Ah." "No, Ms. Crimson Tide got me right." "I'll explain it later." "Okay, no, no, no, all right." "212 John Street, right?" "All right, I got it." "I'll meet you there in a minute." "Oh... sorry, I got it a little sweaty." "Your sweat washed off the layer of makeup that's usually there." "You're welcome then." "Listen, thanks." "Oh, this was amazing." "Um..." " The hell is that?" " What..." " Ladies kiss goodbye." " Oh." " But don't you fuck up my makeup." " I'm..." "You know, you should really work that Whitney thing." "Grow out your 'do, stand close to fans." " Yes, yes, yes." " Yes, get it going." " Cool." " Yeah, work on it." " Bye." " Bye." "I am out." " You can actually do something." " I didn't see anything." "It was a sea of bodies and screaming and chaos." "And then my..." "my friend was dead." "You could make a statement." "You could say something." "They haven't even called the police!" "You could get on your illegal fucking cell phone and call the police." "You wanna make a call?" "Have at it!" "Look, I can't process any of this, all right?" "I'm supposed to pretend that I wasn't even here, remember?" "I left yesterday." "You could refuse to leave, you know." "Oh, fuck that." "I am getting as far away from this damn place as is humanly possible." "They kill people in here." "Jesus, how did this happen?" "What is the matter with you?" "Nothing!" "When things are going well, absolutely nothing!" "Go fuck yourself!" "Hello?" "Ow." " Very hard to breathe." " Oh, God." "Very hard to breathe." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." "Uh..." "Hold on." "That kid..." "He's a kid, you know?" "And he's all upbeat and shit, like a puppy." "And now he's ruined." "He'll be all fucked up forever." "He wouldn't have killed someone if he worked at Best Buy." "He'd still be a happy puppy guy if he worked at Best Buy." "Best Buy gives me a headache." "You know, I forget sometimes that all the girls in here... you'd be anywhere else if you could be." "And, uh..." "I come here every day, by choice..." "like an idiot." "You been smokin' a bowl?" "I'm gonna quit my job." " You're not saying nothing." " Yeah, 'cause I don't want you to go." " No?" " Uh..." "No." "I mean, I..." "I mean, I want you to do what's right for you, and you should always do what's right for you, but now that we're cool..." "I mean..." "I think we're cool, right?" "Toast can't never be bread again." "But I like talking to you." "But I hate being here." "It's awful." "You can't do that." "It's not safe." "It'll get me all..." "I might..." "You can't do that." "Sorry." "I'm sorry." "Sorry." " Are you..." " Shut up." "Wow." "You know I'm attracted to you." "No, I don't." " You don't?" " No." " Boo's right out there." " Are you still scared of me?" " A little." " Yeah?" "You know... you should be." "'Cause it's taking everything I got not to throw you down and fuck you right now." "But I don't want to be what I was to you... and I don't want to ruin where we are now." "Me either." "I might have to quit." "Okay." "Well... think on that, and..." "and I'm gonna think on that, too." "And, um..." "I won't tell Boo that you had your boner on my leg." "I appreciate that." "She came right for him..." "and she had a shiv." " You saw a weapon?" " Yes, sir." "Is this vanilla coffee?" " McCullough?" " I guess." "Why else would he have taken her down like that?" "It was nuts in there." "Flavored coffee is bullshit, you guys." "Flavored coffee is for women who scrapbook." "Blake, what'd you see?" "Girl had a knife, came running right for him." "Are we not gonna address the coffee issue?" "Jefferson... were you there, in the cafeteria?" "Yes, sir." "Was there an altercation?" "Did..." "Did Washington provoke him in some way?" "What are you asking me?" "If she deserved to die?" "No!" "No!" "There were conflicting reports with some key witnesses claiming she had a weapon." "Man, like hell she did!" "But what does that matter anyhow?" "That girl was smaller than most 12-year-olds." "She got held down and down, until she couldn't get back up." "Ever!" "And ain't nothing she could've done that called for that." "Man, she was my friend!" "Not "Inmate Washington," but my friend." "And you ain't even call her father." "I'm sorry for your loss." "I'm so sick of people sayin' that, man." ""My loss."" "Like it was my 100-year-old granny who kicked it." "Or like it was some tragic accident instead of cold-blooded murder." "But thank you." "I need to use the restroom." "I'm a fuckin' hero, bitches." "Yeah, I held it together and saved a life." "But now I'm gonna go back to crying now, so..." "Bye." "Holy shit." "She's drunk." "And where there's drunk, there's drink." "Yes!" "We need to call the police." "We need to call the coroner now!" "All right." "I think I got it." "Okay, we hit a wall when it came to the inmate." "Father's an army mucky-muck, nice family, educated, low-level crime, sweet face, healthy as a fuckin' horse." " Wasn't happening." " We'd be smeared." "We're shifting our focus to Officer Bayley." " What do you mean?" " A villain." "We got a villain." "He was untrained and a loose cannon, who, as you will announce, will be fired, effective immediately." "He wasn't a loose cannon." "He's a kid who got scared." "And killed someone." "How long you been working here?" "Thirty years." "Been scared once or twice?" "What's your body count?" "He is not a villain." "We leave him out there to twist in the wind, he will go to jail." "Well, he made his bed when he did a full nelson on a girl he had 50 pounds on." "He had his knee on her." " You said "full nelson."" " I wasn't being literal." "Yeah." "She was unarmed, and by all reports, non-aggressive." "He was using brawn instead of brain, and that is not a tactic MCC can stand by." "Ooh, write that down." "Could be useful for the statement." ""Brawn instead of brain." "MCC won't stand for it."" " Plus, he's on antidepressants." " Who isn't?" "He went rogue." "It's our only defense." "You can call the cops and the morgue now." "That'll give us a few hours until the press gets a hold of it, and then we'll have ourselves an official conference." "Here we go!" "Doors opening." "Step back to allow customers to exit." "When boarding, please move to the center of the car." "Step back, doors closing." "Where the fuck am I?" "Where the..." " Hey, uh, which way to John Street?" " It's, like, five blocks that way." "That way?" "You lost?" "No." "I'm..." "like, five blocks away." "About..." "I think." "Hop on." "We'll get you there." "Oh, my God." "Oh, man." "Whoo!" "Breeze feels nice." "Mmm." "I gotta replenish my vitamin D so I don't get dementia." "You ain't gettin' dementia." "You forget nothing." "And don't you forget it." "Things will change now, you know." "That's what's so fucked up." "It takes someone dying for them to do something." "They ain't gonna do shit." "Shit, now that's a big one." "I haven't seen Mandingirl around here before." "Heard he-she was in Max." "Beat up a Mexican or something." "Looks like it's all peace in the valley now." "Maybe they got it sedated." "Fuck." "Can we wake it back up if the guards go apeshit?" "I want that on my side if they try and squash me." "Too vivid." "I'm sorry for your loss." "Hey, you're the table-standing, pissed-on-herself lady, right?" "Yeah." "Okay." "That bitch can stand for a hella long time." "We gotta find that hooch." "I mean, ain't much of a wake without drink." "China Doll probably know where she kept it." " I mean, where she at anyhow?" " Mmm-hmm." "I mean, some of this candy for her, bein' that she the widow and all." " Then save her some." " Fuck off, Shabazz." "Suzanne went to look for her." "Hopefully not dead in the library." "P ain't here to save her ass no more." "Someone should sing." "Don't people sing at these things?" "Me and Taystee gonna sing." "A little "Goin' Up Yonder," a little "Bye and Bye."" "Some Sounds of Blackness, "I'll Fly Away." Or Hezekiah Walker, "I'll Fly Away."" "I mean, I may be a Jew now, but times like this call for some black gospel, no matter what." "P..." "P had some pipes." "Oh... hell, yeah." "I mean, that voice would take you places." "But that she-wee thing, though, was for shit, though." "Yo..." "I pissed all over my hands." "Fuck, man." "Man, fuck!" " What'd they say?" " Not much." "When we can get back in the kitchen we should make them chilaquiles or something." "Should we tell the big one to save some room?" "People eat when they're sad." "This is so fucked up." "That could have been any one of us." "Still can be." "Look." " Check it out." "Check it out." " Oh, man!" "I can't look." "Open the gate." "All right." "Shit." "Why bother with an ambulance, you know?" "I mean, it's not like she's gonna get well." "What the fuck did she say?" "The fuck did you say?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Y'all wanna get dirty?" "We can get dirty." "And my friend Jihad here will share what she's hidin' in her scarf." "Another time." "Great!" "All we got is time!" "Hey, man." "It's all right, man, shh." "You might need to load that thing up now." "There's not that much room." "What the..." "Watson, you see this shit?" "That's some Raggedy Ann nap." "Oh, man." "It is like Backdraft up in that shit." "Atomic Fireball." "Oh, man." "Yo, Little Red Riding Head." " Yo, Ariel!" "Ariel!" " Oh!" "That's why this whole thing happened in the first place." "They can't control their tempers." "Did you see her, all wild-eyed?" "Her friend did just die." "And that's the only reason I didn't knock her big Chiclets to the back of her skull." "Out of respect." "We should load up." "Rocks in socks." "Maybe some spray cans." "Shoot in their eyes." "They're feral with emotion." "We gotta be ready!" "Not to mention the fucking guards!" "I'm gonna get started." " I've got shivs." " Aw, fuck." " I'm so fuckin' tired!" " But better safe." "I know, I know." "Shit." "Oh, shit." "The white bitches are loading up." "You think we should say something?" "Might be good." "Maybe Maria will be a little less pissed at me if I can tell her some stuff that she don't know." "I don't know." "It can't hurt." "Is this supposed to feel all tight and shit?" "Like, it's pulling." "I don't know if that's a good thing." "No, that's good." "It means it's working." "We're gonna look so good for when the TV cameras come to ask about the dead girl." "Mmm." "They're gonna wanna interview us for sure." " We gotta stand up right in the front..." " Yup." "...lookin' all sad and shit." "I can totally do that." "That's so bad, that's so bad, that's so bad." "I love the weekend." "So relaxing'." "When I was growing up, we only got Sunday off... and most of that time was spent in church." "Kinda blew." " Lunch was good, though." " I think I might blow." "It felt so good going down." "We should've taken it slow." "There ain't gonna be more now." "We should've toasted her." "To the best hooch maker!" "May she rest in peace." "Fuck." "She was just here." "In the time machine, dancing with her lezzie yellow girlfriend." "You know, I think that time machine is bad luck." "Think about it." "That nutty lady went in there and she's in Psych now." "Hoochie's dead." "I think the tall lezzies are still around, but their days could be numbered." "Are you thinking what I'm destroying'?" "Totally." "It's our duty as citizens of Litchfield." "Come on, wreck it!" "You can't remember how many there were?" "I told you, I think that's all of them." "You think or you know?" "You can't tell it's my writing." "I wrote them with my left hand." "Have you never seen a procedural television show, Al?" "That's..." "Come on." " This was crazy." " It's the right thing." "He has a family." "They should be able to mourn him." "Nobody should die without a name." "Yeah, well, he should have thought of that before he became a contract killer." "He was also a henchman." "And he worked at a Eurotrash clothing store." "Oh, okay." "Well, then..." "Look, before he tried to kill me, he..." "didn't kill me." "And we spent time together." "I didn't take the life of a stranger." "He had a cousin who used to run guns for an Iraqi arms dealer and they were close." "And we'd go out..." "we'd go out drinking sometimes." "Me, and Aydin and Haluk." "They were big tippers and decent dancers... and he always smelled good." "Haluk's gonna have to figure this one out on his own, Al, and hopefully blame Kubra and not you." "Sweetie... you're guilty and you're emotional, and you haven't had closure and someone else just died in front of you." "I get it, but I can't let you do this." "It's too dangerous." "Okay?" "I'm sorry." "He was a person." "I know he was." "There might be two more in the hall by the chapel." "Let's go get them." "Ooh, ow." "Everything hurts." "Yep." "You got guests." "Oh, damn." "I could have sworn you were wearing a blue tie." " Do you have a blue tie here?" " No." "Fine." "Here." "Pin that on." "Hey..." " Is that necessary?" " Well, you don't wanna be shiny." "Shiny implies sweat, which implies duress, which implies culpability." "Here." "All the news outlets have this." "It's gonna be part of the piece." "He's dressed for Halloween." "Can't know that for sure." "He's wearing a bullet belt." "He's..." "Rambo." "Knock, knock!" "Thought you could use a little energy boost." "No!" "No caffeine." "He'll appear shaky and nervous." "We want him in complete control." "Zach..." "let's, uh, triple-check that the prisoners don't have access to the press and vice versa." "See, this is why I wanted a complete lockdown." "In fact, you know what?" "It's not too late." "Get on the loudspeaker." "Get everyone back to their dorms." " Let's do that, okay?" " Okay, fine." "Okay." "What are you doing here?" "It's quieter here than I thought." "The prison." "Yeah... someone died yesterday." "I know, they're... they're saying it'll probably make national news." "MCC is so lucky to have you." "You are a part of this community." "You will put everyone at ease." "So, studies show that viewers like to see paper and ink." "Gives it an analog feel." "So I went ahead and wrote out your statement for you." "Eye contact is key, however, so you're gonna wanna look up intermittently, and look like you're talking from the heart." " "A low-achieving grifter"?" " Junior college." "We're trying to paint a picture here, and the picture has to be very clear." "He was not a good man." "Unlawful, immoral, and no longer to be associated with our corporation." "You got shiny again." "Hey!" "Makeup?" "You'll be great." "I didn't notice that before." "I'll grab my concealer." "Bite marks?" "I didn't notice that before either." " Where are you going?" " I gotta, uh..." "I need a minute." "Eight minutes to the five o'clock news!" "Empty that bladder!" "General Washington?" "This is Warden Caputo of the Litchfield Correctional Facility." "No, sir." "She's not okay." "Yup... taking off in two weeks." "Dutch smoke can't be much better than this." " You pack some dank here." " It's not for that, man." "See, I was supposed to go to West Point." "I lost it over this girl." "Damn near killed somebody." "The wrong somebody." "Got blackballed from the academy." "Huh..." "I never told anyone that." "It's the robe." "Inspires disclosure." "Do you believe in signs?" " Like lucky ducks and shit?" " Nah." "What's your thing then?" "I believe this world's a damaged place, and if you can find a sliver of happiness, stay in it as long as you can." "Solid monk wisdom." "As long as we're making confessions, you should know..." " I'm not a real monk." " What the fuck?" "Sorry." "Honestly, I kinda thought you knew already." "Between the bikes and the pot..." "the fact that I'm mostly Irish, and we were throwing Toffifays at people." "I thought y'all was like some new-wave order." " What is all this then?" " Improv Everywhere." "It's a religion piece." "We're the monks... then there's packs of nuns and packs of rabbis going all around the city tonight doing scenes." "We had trouble finding imams, though." "Yeah, see, for those guys, you need to sweeten the deal, like... the imams get to give out cocktails or something." " Carry adorable kittens." " Mmm-hmm." "Hey, next month, we got a big dance piece." "We're gonna be dancing with live rats at a food festival." "You wanna join us?" "Are you comfortable dancing with rodents?" "Hell, no." "They always try to lead." " And I'm gonna be in Amsterdam!" " Mmm-hmm." " You know, starting' my new life." " Mmm-hmm." " Figurin' out my shit." " Mmm-hmm." "I quit my job at Dave and Busters." "Selling off my stash." "Smokin' off my stash." "You used to work at Dave and Busters?" " Mmm-hmm." " Damn." " Can you get me free games?" " Hell, no!" "Yeah, my manager, Carl, is serious as fuck." "Man would charge you for a ice cube." "To one amazing night." "To New York City, baby." "In five, four, three, two..." "As many of you are aware... we suffered a terrible tragedy here at the Litchfield Correctional Camp yesterday." "As warden, it is my job to ensure that this prison runs safely and effectively." "Because we are a women's camp, that responsibility is often underestimated." "Oh, shit." "He's going off-book." "The assumption being that minimum-security women do not pose a physical threat, that as long as they are clothed and fed, the ship will run smoothly." "Well... our ship ran off its course yesterday." "And because of that, a young woman lost her life." "Sadly, there is nothing we can do to bring her back." "Now, I understand, in these situations, everybody is hungry for blood, everybody is looking for a scapegoat." "But in this case, the officer responsible... well, he was set up to fail." "He was a victim of circumstance." "Every day, my officers deal with convicted felons." "Every day, they interact with women who were sent here to serve their time, to repent for their crimes." "Any allegations coming from them or any other source are just not credible." "My officer fulfilled his duty, and I defend his actions." "He will take a short leave of absence, and be back in uniform, pending investigation." "Thank you all." "I will not be answering questions at this time." "Man, they ain't gonna fire him!" "They're letting him go free!" "They called him the fuckin' victim!" "Yo, they lettin' him off!" "They letting' him off!" "They didn't even say her name, yo!" "They didn't even say her name!" "Come on, pick up." "Pick up!" " There's no justice!" "There's no justice!" " What's going on?" "They fuckin' defending' him?" "Fuck this place!" "We are done!" "Fuck this place!" "Yo, some shit's goin' down." "Come on, let's go." "Hey, this mean we are gonna be on TV or we're not gonna be on TV?" " I gotta know these things." " It means sharpen your fuckin' eye pencil!" "I use liquid liner." "Attica!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "You're missin' all the fun!" "Come on!" "What's Attica again?" "I don't know." "I heard other people sayin' it." "Oh, maybe it's the dad from that bird book?" "You mean To Kill a Mockingjay?" "Yeah!" "Hungry Games." " Attica!" " Attica!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "We're done!" "No more?" " That's it." " All right." "Do you wanna say any last words?" "That's right!" "Burn this motherfucker!" " Maybe another time." " Yeah." "Daya, you sure you know what you're doin'?" "Maybe you wanna give it to someone else?" "Oh, fuck!" "Shit." "Hey, lady CO." "Get on the floor with your hands behind your head, right now... before I shoot your little friend here in the eyeball." "Yeah, that's right." "Put it right in his fucking face." " Good." " Jesus, Diaz." " Fuckin' cos." "Y'all are pieces of shit." " Yeah!" "Shit." "Here it is." "Pop his ass!" "You like that?" "Fuck you!" "Shoot him!" "You like that?" "Huh?" "Come on, girl!" "Come on!" "Just do it!" "Do it!"