"Garbage." "All I've been thinking about all week is garbage." "I can't stop thinking about it." "What kind of thoughts about garbage?" "I just..." "I've gotten real concerned over what's gonna happen with all the garbage." "I mean, we've got so much of it." "You know?" "I mean, we have to run out of places to put this stuff eventually." "The last time..." "I started feelin' this way is when that barge was stranded and, you know, it was goin' around the island and nobody would claim it." " Do you remember that?" " Yes, I remember." "Do you have any idea what may have triggered this concern?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "You see, the other night John was taking out the garbage, and he kept spilling things out of the container, and that made me..." "I started imagining, like, a garbage can that produces garbage." "And it doesn't stop, it keeps producing garbage." "And it keeps overflowing." "And, you know, what would you do to try to stop something like that?" " Ann, do you see any pattern here?" " What do you mean?" "Well, last week we were talking about your obsession with the families of airline fatalities." "Now we're talking about your concern over the garbage problem." "Yeah..." "So?" "Well, if you think about it, I think you'll see the object of your obsession is invariably something negative which you have no control over." "Yeah, but how many people do you think run around obsessing over how great and how happy things are?" "You know, I mean, maybe they do, but I don't think they're in therapy." "Anyway... bein' happy isn't all that great." "I mean, the last time I was really happy, I got so fat." "I must've put on 25 pounds." "I thought John was gonna have a stroke." " So, what are you worried about?" " What am I looking at here?" " Is this a mistake?" " Depends on your point of view." "I don't think so." "In fact, I'm gonna tell you a little secret." "As soon as you get a ring on your finger, you start getting spectacular attention" " from the opposite gender." " That's bullshit!" "Seriously." "I wish I had Super Bowl seats for every time some filly had come up and talked to me without the slightest provocation." " It's just marvellous." " That happened before you got married." "No, no, no." "It never happened before I got married." "If I'd known, I'd have bought a ring when I was 18 and saved myself..." "Yeah, right!" "...a lot of time and money." "No, I wish somebody'd clued me in." "I'm tellin' you." "It's too weird." "Oh, shit, I gotta be someplace." " So, racquetball Thursday, right?" " How about 7.30?" " Yeah, fine." "See you later." "Bye." " Bye-bye." " Yes, sir?" " Janet." "Reschedule Kirkland for, uh, Friday, 1.30." " Yes, sir." " All right." "Are you still keeping these thoughts from John?" "Yeah." "Are you afraid of his finding you silly at thinking these things?" "No, it's not that." "It's just..." " I'm really angry at him right now." " Why?" "He invited this college friend of his to stay at our house and didn't even ask me." "I'm gonna say yes, of course, but... you know, it just would've been nice to have been asked." "What upsets you about that?" "I guess it makes me angry because I can't justify being' angry." "It's his house." "He pays the mortgage." "Yes, but he asked you to quit your job, and you do have housework." "Yeah." "I have housework." "That's true." "This unexpected guest notwithstanding, how are things with John?" "Oh, they're fine." "Except for I'm going through this thing where I don't want him to touch me, but..." "When did you begin having this feeling?" "Well..." "last week." "I don't know, I just..." "I got this really strange feelin', and... ugh... just didn't want him to touch me." "Prior to this feeling, were you comfortable with contact with John?" "Oh, yeah." "Sure." "Yeah." "Except for... well..." "I've never really been that much into sex." "I mean, I like it and everything, but..." "You know, I just don't think it's such a big deal, and..." "I wouldn't miss it, you know, kinda thing." "But lately I've just... been kinda curious about how things have slacked off." "Perhaps he senses your hesitance at being touched." "But that's the weird thing, because he started not touching me before I started feelin' like that." "Ah." "I mean, I'm sure he probably wishes that I would initiate things once in a while, and I would, except for it just never occurs to me, and... well, the few times I have felt like it I was by myself." "Did you do anything?" "What do you mean?" "Did you masturbate?" "Oh!" "Oh." "Oh." "God, no." "No." "Mm-mm." "I take it from your response that you never masturbate." "Well..." "I tried once." "It just seems so stupid!" "I don't know!" "It just seemed like a dumb thing to do, and..." "God, and then I started worrying that my dead grandfather was watching me, and..." "It seemed so stupid, especially when you don't know what to do with the garbage." "Oh, so it was recently when you tried this?" "Oh, well, it was kind of recently, but not... real recently." "I am just not up to havin' a guest in the house." "I gotta go." "I gotta go to the office." "I gotta get back to the office." "I only get one today?" "Gee, how exciting." "I already skipped one meeting." "I gotta get back." "Look, John, if you wanna leave, leave." "My life doesn't revolve around these little get-togethers." "Don't flatter yourself." "Don't feel like you gotta treat me with kid gloves." "Tell me how you really feel." "Listen, I got a friend comin' into town, an old friend I haven't seen in years." "From what I can tell, I think he's a little lost." "I think I may have to spend a little time with him." "Mm-hm." "Meaning we'll have to cool it for a while?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "I wish you'd quit that bartending job of yours." "Why?" "I hate the thought of all those guys hitting' on you." "I can handle it." "I'm sure." "Besides, the money is good, and some of the guys are cute." "And you are in no position to be jealous." "Who said I was jealous?" "I did." "You know, I'd like to do it at your house sometime." "I must admit, the idea of doin' it in my sister's bed gives me a perverse thrill." "I wish I could just come right out and tell everyone Ann's a lousy lay." "The beautiful, the popular Ann Bishop Millaney." " Could be risky." " How about I just start a rumour, then?" " No, no, I mean doin' it at my house." " Afraid of gettin' caught?" "Yeah!" "You should be." " Can I meet this friend of yours?" " Who, Graham?" "I gotta tell you, we were very close many years ago, but I..." "I think we're very different now." " Yes?" " Ann?" "Uh, my name is Graham Dalton." " Oh!" "Yeah, sure." " May I use your bathroom?" "Uh-huh." "Come on in." " Where is it?" " Oh, back there to the left." "I'm sorry." "Do you like strawberries?" "I brought you some." "Thank you." "That's real sweet." "Hi." "Um, John Millaney, please." "This is his wife." "That's all right." "Thank you." "Well." " That was quick." " False alarm." "Have a seat." "I'm sorry, we don't let people smoke in the house." " But if you'd like to, we could go outside." " Oh, no, no, no, no, no." "No, no." "I..." "I can wait." "I'm..." " Do you have any other things?" " Yes." "Oh, you mean to bring in?" "No." "I do have some other things, but I don't..." "This is all I need to stay here." "Have you ever been on television?" "Television?" "No, no." "Why?" "I was just curious." "Graham." "That's an unusual name." "Yeah." "Yeah, I, uh..." "I guess it is." "My mother is a complete Anglophile." "Anything British makes her drool like a baby." "So she, you know, I think she heard the name in a movie or something." "She's a prisoner of public television now." "How do you like being married?" "I like it just fine." "What about it do you like?" "I..." " I don't mean to be critical." "I'm curious." " No, no, no, no." "That's OK." "Uh..." "Well... you know the cliché about the security of it?" "Well, that's true." "And, um, we own this house." "It's a nice house." "And..." "John was just made junior partner, and I really like that." "You know, I like the fact that he's just not, you know, freelance or whatever." "Yes." "So, how long has it been since you've seen John?" " Nine years." " Nine years?" "Yeah." "I was surprised he invited me to stay here until I found a place." " Didn't you know him very well?" " Oh, no, I knew him very well." "John and I... were very much alike." "Really?" "That's kinda hard to believe." "I mean, you just seem so different now." "Yeah." "Well, I would imagine we are pretty different now." " I'm ready to use the bathroom, finally." " OK." "Graham." "I gotta tell you, I almost called the cops when I saw you today." "I thought to myself "This couldn't possibly be the same guy that once held private services in the back of the chapel on a weekly basis."" " You did that?" " Everybody has a past." "That's mine, so..." "So, what's with the get-up?" " Somebody die, or...?" " John!" " I'm sorry." "Did...?" "I'm sorry." " No, no, no." "Nobody died." " So..." " I mean... what do you think the Greeks'd think of this rather sombre attire?" "I don't know." " Dinner was very good." " Yeah, it wasn't bad, honey." "Usually Ann achieves a kinda critical mass with the salt, but, uh, tonight was..." "I always tell her, you can always add more, but you can't take it away." "Yeah, you say that, don't you?" " So, do you have family here?" " Mm." "Mother, father, my sister." " Sister older or younger?" " Younger." "Are you close?" "I'm sorry." "I'm..." "I'm prying again." "I'm sorry." "Were you prying before?" "I was grilling Ann about your marriage." " How'd it go?" " Well, I..." "Very well." "Uh..." "So, I was asking about your sister." "Yeah." "Well..." "We get along all right, it's just that, uh..." "Well, I think she's an extrovert." "I just think she's loud." "She probably wouldn't agree." "No, I mean, definitely wouldn't agree." "So, listen, are you gonna see Elizabeth while you're here?" "Uh..." "I don't know." " Who's Elizabeth?" " A girl Graham dated in school." "Well after the chapel episodes." "She still lives here, to the best of my knowledge." "So Graham and I were talking about apartments, and I told him that they've got lovely little apartments in the Garden District." " And they got nice garage apartments..." " There's critical crime in that district." " Oh, John, come on, that is not true." " No." "There are..." "I don't know what kind of place you're lookin' for." "There's plenty of apartments in any one place." " I'm sorry?" "No, I just..." "Right now I have one key, you know, everything I own is in the car." "I like that." "If I get an apartment, that's two keys." "If I get a job, you know, I might have to open or close." "That's more keys." "I buy some stuff, I'm afraid it's gonna get ripped off, and I get more keys." " I just like having the one key." "It's clean." " You don't have to worry about losin' 'em." "Get rid of the car when you get the apartment." "Still one key." "I like having the car." "You know?" "The car's important." "You gotta be mobile." "In case you have to leave someplace in a hurry?" "Yeah, or go someplace in a hurry." "Excuse me." " Do you want some help?" " No, no, really, I'm fine." "There's not that much to do." "Graham, do you pay taxes?" "Yeah, I pay taxes." "Yeah, I pay taxes." "What do you mean?" "You don't pay taxes, you're a liar." "I'm not a liar." "Liars are the second-lowest form of human being on the planet." " What's the first?" " Lawyers." "Oh." "That's you, honey." "Annie, why don't you go with Graham to hunt for apartments?" "Show him how the city's changed." " Would you mind, Graham?" " No, I'd love that." " I'd like that, too." "Let's do that." " All right." "How about tomorrow?" " That'd be great." " Good." "One key, huh?" "Great idea." " Yeah." " Cynthia, John." "Meet me at my house in exactly one hour." "You are scum." "I'll be there." "As you can see, there's plenty of room for two." "No, it'll just be me." " Are you a student?" " No." "You can hang a shower curtain in the bath." "Make sure you put somethin' in the tub so you won't fall." "You said about 350?" "Yeah." "And, uh, plus the first and the last months' rent." " All right." "Will you lease month to month?" " Not for 350." "How about 400?" "I could live with that." "I could live with that." " OK." "It's a deal." " All right." " Ready?" " Yeah." " John?" " In here." "Well, ain't you a picture?" "Well, do you like it?" "It's lovely." "Is it for me?" "Yeah, it's for you." "Is that for me?" "Yeah, that's for you." "You're amazing, dear." "Can I tell you something personal?" "It's up to you." "Can I tell you something personal?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Well, you gotta go first." "OK." "I think that, um..." "I think that sex is overrated." "I think that people place far too much importance on it." "And I think that stuff about women wanting' it just as bad as men is crap." "I think they want it, I just don't think they want it for the reason men think they do." "I'm getting confused." " Do you understand what I'm...?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love the person that they're attracted to," "and that women become more and more attracted to the person that they love." "God, that's... that's beautiful." "That's really beautiful." "I like that." "Oh, I'm just quoting." "So, are you gonna tell me something personal?" " Do you want me to?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I do." "I don't want it to be something gross, about some scar." "I want it to be something really personal, about yourself." "All right." "OK." " I'm impotent." " You're what?" " Impotent." " You are?" "Yeah." "I mean, like, well, I can't..." "I can't get an erection..." "in the presence of another person." "So, for all practical purposes, I'm impotent." "Does that bother you?" "No." "Does it make you feel self-conscious?" "Not usually." "No." "Uh..." "Yeah, I'm self-conscious." "Not in the same way that you are, though." " Me?" "Me?" "You think I'm self-conscious?" " Well..." "I been watching you." "I watch you eat, you know, I watch you speak, watch you move, and I see somebody who is extremely aware of people looking at you." " My therapist..." " You're in therapy?" "Aren't you?" "No." "I..." "No, I'm not." "I was a miserable failure in therapy." " So you don't believe in therapy?" " No, I believe in it for some people." "I don't know, it was, you know, silly for me." "I was confused going in." "So I just formed my own theory that you should never take advice from someone that doesn't know you intimately." "Well, I know my therapist intimately." " You've had sex with your therapist?" " No!" " No." "No." " Oh, no, I'm sorry." "That's what I meant." "Somebody you've had sex with." "Oh." "I'm..." "I don't understand." "I mean, how would you know?" " I mean, you know." "How...?" " Oh, no." "I wasn't always impotent." "Oh." "Oh, OK." "So, let me see." "You said, um... you said that I should never take advice from someone that I haven't had sex with, right?" " Basically." " Right." "And, uh, we haven't had sex." " Right?" " No." "So I guess from your own advice, I shouldn't take your advice." " I wouldn't." " You wouldn't?" "OK." "All right." " Drive safely." " Yeah, right." " How was your weekend?" " It was OK." " Did you confront John about the visitor?" " The visitor?" "The friend of John's that was staying at your house." " Graham." " Graham." "Yeah." "I mean... no." "That actually turned out to be interesting." "You know, I was expecting him to be just like John." "You know, cos they went to school together and everything." "You know, talking about getting drunk together and secret handshakes and..." "He turned out to be really this... character." "He's kind of arty." "But OK." "Is he still at your house?" "No." "No." "No." "He's gone." "So where's he from?" "I don't know." "He, uh, used to live in New York and Philadelphia." "I think he just kinda travels around." "Must be nice." "So, what's he like?" "Is he like John?" "No." "I don't think John likes him any more." "Says he thinks he's gotten kinda strange." "Is he?" "Strange, I mean?" "No." "I mean, if I saw him on the street I might think so, but after talkin' to him, I'd just say he's kinda unusual." "Mm-hm." "So, what's he look like?" "Why?" " I just wanna know, is all." " Why, so you can go after him?" "Jesus, Ann, get a life." "I just asked what he looked like." "Besides, even if I decide to fuck his brains out, what business is that of yours?" " Why do you have to say that?" " Say what?" "You know what." "You say it just to irritate me." "I say it because it's descriptive." "He doesn't strike me as a person who would go in for that kinda thing." " Ann, you always underestimate me." " I wonder why." "I think you're afraid to put us in the same room." "You're afraid he'd be drawn to me." "Really, Cynthia, I don't think he's your type." "My type?" "How would you know what my type is?" "Oh, I have a pretty good idea." "Ann, you don't have a clue." "Look, I don't even know why we're discussing' this." "I mean, I'll just go over and call him myself." "He doesn't have a phone." "Well, I'll call him when he does." "He won't." "What are you talkin' about?" "He doesn't like to talk on the phone." "He's not getting a phone." "Oh, please." "OK, so give me the Zen master's address." "I'll think of a reason to stop by." "Please, just let me talk to him first." "Why?" "Just gimme the address." "You won't even have to be involved." "I don't feel right just giving you the address so you can go over there and..." " And what?" " Do whatever it is you do." ""Do whatever it is you do"?" "Listen to the way you talk." " I talk fine." " Thank you, I was still smoking that." "What'd you lose?" "That goddamn pearl earring." "It cost me a fucking fortune." "I must've left it somewhere." "So, what are you gettin' Momma for her birthday?" "I don't know." "I'll get her a card or somethin'." " A card for her 50th birthday?" " Yeah, what's wrong with that?" "Well, the woman gave birth to you." "I think you might be givin' her..." "Will you stop?" "Jesus." " I just thought that, you know, maybe..." " OK, Ann." "OK." "How about this?" "You get her something nice, and I'll pay for half." " All right?" " Fine." "Fine." "Fine." "OK." "Now, if you'll pardon me, I have to go to work." "What is the most unusual location you've ever masturbated in?" "Well..." "I, um..." "One time I was flying from Los Angeles to, um, to New York." "And I was..." "You know, it was a really crowded flight and I was..." "I was sitting in the middle." "I didn't get a window, I didn't get an aisle." "It was really funny, and I was..." "I was just bored." "My magazines were just boring." "I think I had, like, a woman's magazine." "And they touch on a lot of sexual issues and stuff." "And I was thinking to myself" ""God, that's what I need." "I need a little..." "something to take my mind off this trip. "" "So, I was just, you know, just thinking away, and then I just..." "I just did it on the plane." "Just between these two people." "Nobody knew." "How were you able to not betray what was going on to the people around you?" "Well, you know, I have really strong muscles." "It's open!" " Hi!" " Hello, Ann." " I hope I'm not botherin' you." " No, no." " I would've phoned." "You busy?" " No, no." "I can finish later." "I just wanted to see what the apartment looked like with furniture." "Yeah, well, I'm afraid there's not much to see." "I'm sort of cultivating this minimalist vibe." " You could use a bookshelf." " Yeah?" "Yeah, you think so?" "They're... you know, they're all library books." " What are these?" " Uh, those are videotapes." "I can see that." "Of what?" "It's a personal project I've been workin' on." "What kind of personal project?" " What?" " What kind of personal project?" "Uh, a personal project like anyone else's personal project." "Mine's just a little more..." "personal, I guess." "Who's Donna?" " What?" " Donna." "It says "Donna" here on the tape." "Donna was a girl I knew in Florida." "Oh, you went out with her?" "No, not really." "Why do these tapes all have women's names on 'em?" "Well, I enjoy interviewing women more than men." " It's iced tea." " Thanks." " I'm sorry, do you want some lemon?" " No, this is perfect." "So, all of these are... are interviews, huh?" " Uh, yes." " Can we watch one?" "No, I'd..." "No." "Why not?" "Well, I promised each of the subjects that no one would see the videotapes except for me." "What are the interviews about?" "The interviews are about sex." "Sex?" "What about sex?" "Uh, everything about sex." "Like what?" "What they've done, what they do, what they want to do but are afraid to ask for, what they wouldn't do even if asked." "Anything I can think of." "Oh, your ice." " You just ask them questions?" " Yes." "And they answer 'em?" "Yeah." "Uh..." "Mostly." "Sometimes they do things." " To you?" " No, uh... for the camera." " Graham, this is just so..." " I'm sorry this came up." "No, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry this came up, and..." " I'm..." "I'm gonna go." " Here, I'll take it." " OK." "Yeah." "All right." " Bye." "He doesn't want you to come over." "What do you mean?" "Did you tell him about me?" " No, I didn't." " Why not?" " Look, Cynthia, I didn't have time." " Well, why?" "John's right." "He's strange and you don't wanna get involved with him." "What happened over there?" " Did he make a pass at you?" " No." "Well, what's this "strange" bullshit all of a sudden?" "Is he drowning' puppies?" "It's nothin' like that, OK?" " Well, what?" "Is he dangerous?" " No." "Not physically." " Well, what, then?" " I don't wanna talk about it." " Then why did you call me?" " I don't know." " Hello?" " Cynthia, John." "Not today." "I've got other plans." "Oh." "Well, when, then?" "How about inviting me over to dinner?" " You know what I mean." " Yeah, I know what you mean." "It's open." " Hi." " Hello." " Can I help you?" " I'm Cynthia Bishop." " Do I know you?" "I don't..." " I'm Ann Millaney's sister." "The extrovert." "She must have been in a good mood." "She usually calls me loud." "Yeah, she called you that, too." "So, uh, what are you doin' here?" " You want me to leave?" " No, I just wanna know why you're here." "Well, like I said, Ann is my sister." "Sisters talk." "You can imagine the rest." "No, I think it's probably better if I don't characterise that conversation that I didn't hear." "I don't have any idea, really, what you or Ann said about me or anything else." " Do you want some iced tea?" " Sure." "I don't have any lemons." "The last time I saw Ann she left here very confused, I'd say, and upset." "She still is." "So, are you here to make me feel bad for makin' her feel bad?" "No." " She didn't tell you why she was upset?" " No." "Thanks." "So, I don't understand what made you wanna come here." "I can't imagine Ann painted a very flattering portrait of me." "Yeah, well, see, um, I don't really listen to Ann when it comes to men." "I mean, look at John, for Christ's sake." "But then, you went to school with him, didn't you?" "You're probably friends or somethin'." "No." "No, I think John is a liar." "I think you're right." "So come on, I came all the way over here to find out what got Ann so spooked." "Why don't you tell me what happened?" ""Spooked"?" "The videotapes are what got Ann so spooked." "Oh." "I think I get it." "Oh, yeah?" "What do you get?" "If Ann got freaked out by these, they must be somethin' sexual." "Are these tapes of you havin' sex with these girls?" " No, not exactly." " Either you are or you aren't." "Which is it?" " Why don't you let me tape you?" " Doin' what?" " Talking." " About what?" "About sex." "Your sexual history, sexual preferences." " What makes you think I'd discuss that?" " Nothing." " And you just wanna ask me questions?" " I just wanna ask you questions." " That's all?" " That's all." "Is this how you get off?" "Tapin' women talkin' about their sexual experiences?" " Yes." " Would anyone else see the tape?" "Absolutely not." "Nobody else sees the tapes except for me." "How long will it take?" "Well, that depends on you." "One woman used up only three minutes." "And another used three two-hour tapes." "How do we start?" "I turn on the camera and you start talking." "Do I sit or stand?" " What do you prefer?" " I'd prefer to sit." "Are you ready?" "OK, I'm recording." " So tell me your name." " Cynthia..." "Patrice..." "Bishop." " You can speak in a normal voice." " OK." "So, describe for me your first sexual experience." "Um..." "First sexual experience or first time I had intercourse?" " First sexual experience." " Sexual experience." "I was... uh... eight." "And, uh..." "Is this the kinda thing that...?" "Yeah, OK." "I was eight years old, and, um, Michael Green, who was also eight, asked if he could watch me take a pee." "And I said he could if I could watch him take one, too." "So we went to the woods behind my house." "And I got this feeling he was chickenin' out cos he kept sayin' "Ladies first!"" "So I pulled down my little panties and urinated, and he ran away before I even finished." "Was it a topic of conversation between you after that?" "No!" "He kind of avoided me for the rest of the summer, and then his family moved away." "To Cleveland, actually." "What a shame." "When did you finally see a penis?" "When I was 14." "So, what'd you think?" "Was it what you expected it to be?" "No." "Not really." "I..." "I didn't..." "I sorta pictured it, um..." "I didn't think it would have veins or ridges or anything." "I just thought it would be smooth, like a test tube." "It's weird, thinking about it now." "The... organ itself seemed like a separate thing, a separate entity to me." "I mean, when he finally pulled it out and I could look at it and touch it," "I forgot that there was a guy attached to it." "I remember literally being startled when the guy spoke to me." " What did he say?" " He said my hand felt good." "Then what happened?" "And..." "Then I started movin' my hand, and then he stopped talkin'." " Yeah?" " John, Cynthia." " How'd you get through?" " I told Janet I was Ann." "Ah." "She bought it?" "Well, obviously." "Look..." "I want to see you." " Ah." "When?" " Right now." "I don't know if I can do that." "I got a client waiting." "I've already rescheduled him once." "I'd have to do some heavy- duty juggling." "Then get those balls in the air and get your butt over here." " Yes, sir?" " Janet." "Listen, I want you to reschedule Kirkland." "I know, I know." "See if he can come in Monday, any time." "Tell him, uh..." "Tell him, uh..." " Family crisis." "Family crisis." " OK." " I'll slip out the back." " Yes, sir." "All right." "Bye." "Would you like me to take my skirt off?" "If you wish." "You're not wearing any underwear." "Do you like the way I look?" "Yes." "Do you think I'm pretty?" "Yes." "Prettier than Ann?" "Different." "John and Ann don't have sex any more." "Is that what he tells you?" "He doesn't have to tell me." "You're on fire today." "Yes." "You can go now." "What kind of questions?" "Questions... about... sex." "Well, what did he ask, exactly?" "Well, I don't wanna tell you, exactly." "You let a total stranger record your sexual life, but you won't tell your own sister?" " Apparently." " Did he ask you to take your clothes off?" "Did he ask me to take my clothes off?" "No, he didn't." " Did you take your clothes off?" " Yes." " Cynthia!" " What?" " Why did you do that?" " Because I wanted to." " But why did you want to?" " Because I wanted him to see me." "You're crazy." "He could be bouncin' it off some satellite." " Some horny old men could be watchin'." " Ann!" "He wouldn't do that." " You don't know that for sure." " Well, it's too late now, isn't it?" " Did he touch you?" " No." " Did you touch him?" " No." "Did anybody touch anybody?" "Well, yes." "Don't tell me." "Don't tell me." "Don't tell me." "You didn't." " I did." " You didn't." " I did!" " Oh, my God." "Cynthia!" "You're in trouble." "Listen to you." "You sound like Momma." "What are you talkin' about?" "God, Cynthia." " I couldn't do that in front of John." " You couldn't do it, period." " I mean, you don't even know him." " I feel like I do." "You don't." "You can't trust him." "He's perverted." "I don't understand why this freaks you out so much." "You didn't do it, I did, and if it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you?" " I don't wanna talk about it." " OK, then, don't." "Are... are you an assassin?" " Excuse me?" " You're just an errand boy, sent by the grocer to collect the bill." "It's my Brando." "That's pretty good, isn't it?" "Marlon Brando." "It's great." "Pardon me." "OK." "I was thinkin' we needed time apart." "Maybe you should be there for a while." "Hi." "So, why don't you get an answering machine?" " There's a phone here." " It's busy." "Well, why don't you keep tryin'?" "OK." " Well, here it is." " What is it?" " It's a sundress." " Looks like a tablecloth." " It does not." " Why would she want a sundress?" "She's got spots on her shoulders and varicose veins." " Well, missy thing, so will you someday." " When I do, I won't wear sundresses." " God, Cynthia..." " Hold on." " Bayou." " Cynthia, John." " Would you like to speak with your wife?" " What's she doin' there?" "Showing me a present she and I are buying your mother- in-law." "Oh." "Great." "So, when can I see you?" "I don't know." "I'm not sure I can duplicate the intensity I had the other day." "Nothin' wrong with trying." "I don't think my sister would agree." "Do you want me to stop calling?" " Look, I'll call you." "OK?" " Roger." "This is too much." "I'm wearing red, you're wearing red." "That's quite a coincidence..." " Look, I'm married." " Really?" "Are you very married?" " Married enough." " Oh." "Oh." " I see." "Well, that shouldn't stop us..." " I'm just here to see my sister." "OK?" "Oh, really?" "Who's your sister?" "Is she married?" "So, um, what's my share of the dress?" " 32.50." " It's a nice dress." " Thanks." "I thought so, too." " Looks like a tablecloth." "Keep the change." "And, Ann, don't worry about the dress." "I'm sure she'll like it." "Yeah." "I think it'll..." "Oh, you have to go?" "OK." "Goodbye." "I'll see you later." "I'll call you!" "Bye." "John?" "Mm?" "John?" "I called you last Monday at 3.30 and they said you weren't in." "Do you remember where you were?" "On Monday?" "Uh..." "Last Monday?" "Oh, I had a late lunch." "So, who'd you have lunch with?" "I ate by myself." "Come on." " Is there somethin' wrong?" " Are you havin' an affair?" "Jesus Christ!" "I have a late lunch by myself and now I'm fuckin' somebody?" " Well, are you?" " No, I'm not." "God, I'm offended at the accusation." "Come on." "If I'm right, I wanna know." "I don't want you to lie." "I'd be upset, but I'd be more upset if you lied to me." "Well, there's nothin' to know." "I can't tell you how upset I'll be if you lie to me." "This is paranoia." "I mean... if anybody should be paranoid, I should be." "Here, every time I try to touch you, you act as if I'm dipped in shit." "I think there are a lot of women out there that'd be glad to have a young, straight male makin' a pretty good living" "beside 'em in bed with a... with a hard-on." " My sister, for one." " For God's sake, Ann." " Is that who it is?" " Ann, I'm not fucking your sister." "I don't find her that attractive, for one thing." " Is that supposed to comfort me?" " No, I'm just saying." "I'm just saying I didn't get paranoid when you didn't wanna make love to me." "I could have assumed that you didn't want to because you were having an affair." " I'm not." " Well, I'm not either." "Now, come on." " Then why don't I believe you?" " Oh, look." "This is ridiculous." " Maybe when you have evidence..." " There's evidence?" "That's not what I'm saying." "I'm just saying that we shouldn't not ever talk, just don't give me conjecture and intuition." " Always a lawyer." " Goddamn right." "I mean, can you imagine? "Your Honour, I'm positive the man is guilty."" " "I can't place him at the scene..."" " All right." " "But I have this strong feeling..."" " All right." "You made your point." "OK." "All right." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm just under a lot of pressure with this... this Kirkland thing." "I mean, you know it's my first big case as junior partner." "I work all day and I come home." "I look forward to seeing you." "It hurts that you'd accuse me like that." "I'm sorry." "What?" "Come on." "I've just got all this time on my hands, and I just sit around and start inventing these, like, intricate scenarios." "And then I don't want to have wasted all my time, so I wanna believe 'em." " Isn't therapy helping' at all?" " Oh, John, I don't know." "I just feel so stupid sittin' talking' about my little problems when I know those poor children are starving." "Well..." "Quitting your therapy's not gonna..." "not gonna feed the children in Ethiopia." "I know." "You never used to say the word "fucking"." "Fuck." "It's so stupid, I have a hard time believing you did it." " What's so stupid about it?" " Well, you..." " You don't even know the guy." " Well, you know him." "He's a friend of yours." "Do you think he can be trusted?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "From what you've told me, I don't know." "I shoulda known when he showed up dressed like some undertaker for the art world." "I like the way he dresses." "What if this tape gets into the wrong hands?" ""The wrong hands"?" "John, we are not talking about military secrets here." "They're just tapes he makes so he can sit around and get off." "And he doesn't have sex with any of them?" "They just talk?" "They just sit around and talk." "I could almost understand it if he had sex with them." "I mean, almost." "Why doesn't he just buy some magazines or some porno movies or somethin'?" "Doesn't work." "He has to know the people." "He has to be able to interact with them." "Interact?" "Whatever that means." "Did you have to masturbate in front of him?" "I felt like it." "Goddamn." "You and Ann make such a big deal out of this." " You told Ann about this?" " She is my sister." " I tell her almost everything." " I wish you hadn't." "It's just something I'd prefer she didn't have to know about." " She's a grown-up." "She can handle it." " Ann..." " Ann is just very..." " Hung up." " It just wasn't a smart thing to do." " Oh, God!" "Did you sign any sort of paper, or did he have a contract with you saying that he wouldn't broadcast these things?" "No, sir." "You realise you have no recourse legally?" "It's not funny." "It's not funny, Cynthia." "These tapes could show up anywhere." "They won't." "I trust him." "You trust him?" "That's funny." "Yeah, I do." "A hell of a lot more than I trust you." " What do you mean?" " Just what I said." "I'd trust him before I'd trust you." " It hurts that you say that to me." " You're fucking your wife's sister." "You're a liar." "But at least I know that." "I know, I know." "Second-lowest form of human being." "And the first." " What are you talking about?" " Nothing." "You're lying to Ann, too." "Yeah, right, but I didn't take a vow in front of God and everyone to be faithful to Ann." "Look, are we gonna do it or not?" "Actually... no." "I've changed my mind." "I shouldn't have called." "Well, I'm here now." "I need to do somethin'." "Would you like to help me straighten up?" "Jesus!" "Is there one chair in this place that works?" "Well, why don't you go sit somewhere else?" "Come on, John." "You should be happy." "We've gone this far without Ann findin' out." "I'm makin' it real easy on you." " Just walk out of here." " Did he put you up to this?" " Who?" " Graham." "No, he didn't put me up to this." "Jesus, I don't need people to tell me what to do." "I've just been thinkin', that's all." "Now just..." "leave." "Maybe I don't wanna leave." "Maybe I wanna talk." "John, we don't have anything to talk about." "Yeah, you're right." "Things are gettin' complicated." "No, they're gettin' real simple." "It's open!" "Hello." "Want something to drink?" "Yeah, thanks." "I'm sorry, I don't have any iced tea left." "Thank you." "John and Cynthia have been... fucking." "Yes, I know." " You know?" " Yes." "How did you know?" "She said it on her tape." "Thanks for telling me." "I really appreciate it." "Well, I..." "I haven't seen you." "And I don't think I would've told you even if I had seen you." "Why not?" "Because it's not really my place." "My life is shit." "It's just shit." "Nothing's what I thought it was." "John's a bastard." "Let's make a videotape." "No, I..." " I don't think that's a good idea." " Why not?" "Because I don't think it's a choice that you'd make in a normal frame of mind." "And what would you know about a normal frame of mind?" "That's a good question." " So, what do you have to do to get ready?" " Uh..." "Load a tape and turn on the camera." "Do it." "So, where do you get your money from, for rent, and tapes, and stuff like that?" "Underneath my mattress." "And what are you gonna do when this money runs out?" "It won't." "Are you comfortable there?" "Yeah, I'm comfortable." "OK, I'm recording." "Tell me your name." "Ann Bishop Millaney." "Margaret." "Hi, it's John." "Fine." "Listen, have you seen Ann at all today?" "This afternoon?" "Uh..." "Well, no, I just..." "She's home." "Bye-bye." "Everything's fine." "Thanks." "Bye." "Thank God." "You had me worried sick." "I come home, the door is open, the car is gone." "I thought you'd been abducted by some mad fucker." " Are you all right?" " I want out of this marriage." "What?" "I... want... out... of this marriage." "Why?" "Why?" "You're asking me why?" "I'm married to you and you want out of this marriage." "I think you could tell me that." "Fuck you." "Fuck you." "All right." " Can you tell me where you went?" " I drove around." " Then I went over to Graham's." " Graham's?" "Graham." "Goddamn that son of a bitch!" "The backstabbing' son of a..." "Oh, Mr Honesty, huh?" "Mr Apostle of Truth!" "Well, I know you didn't fuck him." "Did you make one of these goddamn videotapes?" "Annie... answer me, goddammit." "Goddammit, answer me." "Did you?" " Yes, I did." " Ah!" "God!" "Don't you touch him!" "OK." "I'm gonna..." "What?" "Hello?" "John?" "What the hell are you doing here?" "What are you doing?" "OK, I'm recording." "Tell me your name." "Ann..." "Bishop..." "Millaney." "So, what do you wanna talk about?" " What do you usually talk about?" " Sex." "OK." "Let's talk about sex." "Do you have sex?" "Not very often, no." "When you do, who usually initiates it?" "He does." "Is the sex satisfying?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "I don't know what you mean." "Do you have orgasms?" "I don't think so." "I mean, I guess, since I'm not sure, that I've never had one." "Have you ever thought about having sex with someone other than your husband?" "Here we go." "Here we go." " Why don't we stop?" " No." "I don't wanna stop." "Have you ever thought about having sex with someone other than your husband?" "I've thought about it." " Did you act on it?" " No." "Why not?" "Because that's how Cynthia thinks." "I hate it when I have feelings that she has." "It bothers me when I think about men, because I know that's the way she thinks." "What other men have you thought about?" "I thought about you." " Have you thought about me?" " Yes." "What did you think?" "I thought about what you would look like having an orgasm." "I'd like to know what I look like havin' an orgasm." "Can you do that?" "Give a woman an orgasm?" "Yes." "Could you do that for me?" " No." " Why not?" "Because I can't." " Can't or won't?" " I can't because I won't." " You said you weren't always impotent." " No." "Yeah, that's correct." " So you have had sex." " Yes." "So, what happened?" "Was it so bad it turned you off, or...?" " No, that wasn't the problem." " What was the problem?" "I was the problem." "I was a..." "I was a pathological liar." "Or I am, I should say." "The lying is..." "Lying is like alcoholism, you're continually recovering." "So that's it?" "You lied?" " That was part of it." " So, what else happened?" "Well, at that time, uh..." "I..." "I used to express my feelings nonverbally," "and often scared people that were close to me." "Are you still like that?" "No." "No." "So you're never gonna make love again?" "I don't..." "I haven't made any plans, so..." " If you were in love with me, would you?" " I'm not in love with you." " But if you were?" " I can't answer that." " Why not?" " I told you." " But I don't understand." " Ann, forget about the sex, you know?" "I..." "I'm not the same person that I was..." "even remotely, you know." "I'm different in so many ways." "It'd have a profound effect on the way that I relate to other people, communicate." "This, for instance." "The way she and I are talking, it could never have been possible." ""She"? "The way she..." "she and I are talking"?" " "She"?" "Who's "she"?" " I'm sorry, I was..." " That isn't what I was..." " She's Elizabeth?" "Is that who it is?" "Is that the girl that John talked about?" "Is that who it is?" " I guess." "I..." "I'm sorry." " So, you're still in contact with her?" " With Elizabeth?" " No." "I'm..." "What do you think Elizabeth is gonna think about all these videotapes?" "I can't imagine her bein' too understanding." "But you're gonna tell her about them, right, since you don't lie any more?" "As I said, I don't know what I'm gonna do, exactly." "I mean... perhaps I won't do anything." "So, you just came back here so that you could think about it?" "No, I moved back here for some..." "A sense of closure, you know?" "Resolution of some sort." "I wanted somebody who was very important to me to understand that." "That's..." "That's pathetic." "I mean, you can't just..." "Oh, my God, Graham." "You just can't walk up to her and show her you've changed like it's some gift or somethin'." "And look what you've changed into." "Nine years." "Nine years." "And this is what you come up with." "Is this what you wanna be the rest of your life?" "Why are you doin' this?" "Can you tell me that?" "Why are you doin' this to yourself?" " Are you gonna answer me?" " Please, don't do that." " Why not?" " Don't do that." "I wanna ask a few questions, like why do you tape women talkin' about sex?" "Why do you do that?" "Can you tell me why?" "Come on." "I'm just gonna keep askin'." "I don't find turning the tables very interesting." "Well, I do." "Tell me why, Graham." " Why?" " What?" "What?" "What do you want me to tell you?" ""Tell me why?" Why?" "Ann, you don't even know who I am." "You don't have the slightest idea who I am." "Am I supposed to recount all the points in my life leading up to this moment and just hope that it's coherent, that it makes some sort of sense to you?" "It doesn't make any sense to me." "You know, I was there." "I don't have the slightest idea who I am, and I'm supposed to be able to explain it to you?" "And why?" "You tell me why." "Why do I have to explain myself to you?" "Because maybe I can help you." " Help me with what?" " Your problem." "My problem?" "Do I have a problem?" "I look around me in this town and I see John and Cynthia and you, and I..." "I feel comparatively healthy." "You've got a problem." "You're right." "I've got a lot of problems." "But they belong to me." "You think they're yours, but they're not." "Everybody that walks in that door becomes part of your problem." "Anybody that comes in contact with you." "I didn't wanna be part of your problem, but I am." "I'm leavin' my husband, and maybe I would have anyway, but the fact is that I'm doin' it now." "And part of it's because of you." "You've had an effect on my life." "This isn't supposed to happen." "I've spent nine years structuring my life so that this didn't happen." "You know, I never told you this, cos I knew it'd crush you." "But now..." "I fucked Elizabeth." "Before you broke up." "Before you were havin' trouble, even." "She's no saint." "She was good in bed." "She could keep a secret." "That's about all I can say about her." " I gotta make a call." " Yeah, sure." " Kirkland's office." " John Millaney for Brian Kirkland." " Just one moment, please." " All right." "Anyway, as I've always said, work is critical." "I can be happy without a marriage, but if you take away my work, that's different." "And if Ann can't handle that..." " Well, that's her problem." " Mr Millaney?" " Yeah." " Mr DeForest would like to see you." "All right." "In a minute." "I'm on with a client." " He said immediately." " All right." "Jesus." " Mr Millaney?" " Yeah?" "Mr Kirkland asked me to inform you he's obtained representation elsewhere, and that if you have a message for Mr Kirkland to leave it with me." "Thank you." "Um..." " No message." " All right, Mr Millaney." "Thank you." "Fool!" "Hope he knows what he's doin'." " Mr Millaney?" " Yeah?" " Mr DeForest is waiting." " All right." "Tell him I'll be in in a minute." "Jesus, the old man thinks that the world revolves around a game of golf." "I'll catch up to you at the courts." "I'd better go talk to DeForest." "Sure." "OK." "Fuck." "Oh, no, just one's fine, thanks." "This is my favourite part." "You know, I was thinking we should name our first child Rusty." "What do you think of that name?" "OK." "You know, I spend a lot of money in here." "I should at least know your name." " Hey." " Hey." "I brought you this." "I knew it was your birthday." " Thanks." " It's a nice plant." "Looks like a tablecloth." "Look, I can't stay." "I gotta go." " Can I call you?" " Do you have my work number?" "No." "Got a pen?" "OK, now, you're wearing blue, I'm wearing blue." "Is this some sort of weird coincidence?" "I don't think so." "I think it's something more." " Do you live here?" " No." "I'm just passing through." "Look, don't call between three and five, cos I get real busy, OK?" " OK." " OK." "See ya." " Bye." " Bye." "I like her." "She's a very nice girl." "Very nice." " Hi." " Hey." "I think it's gonna rain." "It is raining."