"(clicking)" "(gentle piano music)" " Today we're gonna talk about Frederick Douglass." "The Union was falling apart." "The South was seceding." "It was a very young country." "Frederick Douglass was an abolitionist, and he believed it is morally wrong to have slavery." "And people were like, "Hey Lincoln!" "This guy's talkin' a good game." "You should meet with him."" "And Lincoln wasn't a douchebag." "He's like, "Okay." "I'll meet with him."" "Frederick Douglass comes to the White House." "Senator Pomeroy, he's like," ""Da da-da!" "Abraham Lincoln, let me introduce you to Frederick Douglass, a black former slave, a good black man who has some speeches." "He would like to talk to you." "I'm not being prejudice." "I just-- he's black." "I'd like to let you know."" "And he was asking" "He was asking Frederick Douglass," ""What do I do about slavery?" "What do I do about the black population?"" "And Frederick Douglass comes over to him." "He's like, "Hoo!" "Well, okay." "Abraham Lincoln," "I am Frederick Douglass." "I am a former slave who--"" "And he's like, "Shhhh, I get it." "I know." "I know who you are." "It's been explained to me." "I've been following your career forever." "Be quiet." "I'm into it." "Let's talk."" "I will do more about him, but I will lay down." "My legs are showing." "I wanted to lose weight before this." "Wait, don't show, it's too white." "I wanna lay down and have a drink." "No!" "You know what I'm gonna do?" "Frederick Douglass, he's like," ""Guess what, Abraham Lincoln?" "I have to tell you three things." "Blacks should fight in the war, too." "Black soldiers who do fight in the war should get equal pay as whites." "Three, if they're prisoners of war, don't fucking kill them."" "And Lincoln's like, "Yeah." "I think we can do this, but I just wanna let you know that" "I'm just into preserving the Union."" "There's a thing about, about, about," "about Richard Dreyfuss." "(laughs) What is his name?" "(laughs) Frederick Douglass." "I knew it was something similar." "The thing about Frederick Douglass." "They were good friends." "And he-- and Frederick Douglass remained an advisor to President Clinton for years." "And word gets back to him like," ""Abraham Lincoln is dead."" "Why do I feel like my" "I didn't take my pants off or anything, did I?" " [Man] No." " 'Cause I feel like" " I don't have pants on." " You took your shoes off." " Oh, 'cause I'm in a dress, but there was a moment where I took my pants off." "Okay, good." "A couple years later, they're in Washington, D.C." "and they're like," ""Alright, it's the Lincoln Emancipation Memorial."" "And then someone says," ""Hey, Frederick Douglass is in the audience!" "He should speak!"" "He's an orator." "I mean, this is his livelihood." "And he gets up." "So he did that for awhile and he did a good job." "Then I-- would go on and do a good job." " [Man] (laughs) - (laughs)" "Wait, that was different than that." "He says, "I gotta be honest with you guys." "Abraham Lincoln was a white man's president."" "Mary Todd Lincoln, Abraham's wife, is there." "And she was there when he got his head blown off in the theater, so she's a badass, but it doesn't mean she's immune to feelings." "She's there." "So he says, "We had different views on slavery." "We had different views on the Emancipation Proclamation." "We had different views on the war." "But he's a great guy, and I respect him because he listened." "Even if he knew he couldn't fulfill my wishes." "He brought me in and he fuckin' listened." "Nobody does that."" "Mary Todd Lincoln comes up to him and goes, "He would've fuckin' loved that." "That is exactly his style."" "And she goes, "Douglass, come 'ere." "I have something for you."" "Now my head is shutting asleep." "Mary Todd said, "I want you to have Abe's walking stick." "His favorite walking stick."" "I was like, "Thank you much for the walking stick." "I'm gonna do my best to preserve the honor of it." "And I just take it more of a symbol as a friendship between you, me, and your husband."" "And then he died a few months later, doing what he loves sticking up for ladies." "And you can't fault him for that." "Did I need to do a more story about them?" "(dramatic orchestral music)" "I have a mental illness." "But I don't." "He's the father of the civil rights!"