"[***]" "ow!" "all right, we've looked everywhere." "there is no alien in the 'burbs." "except the one we brought with us." "the rift is definitely in there." "in the garage." "why is it that visitors from mongo never stick around for a welcome wagon?" "well, just be thankful it takes one of these babies to open up a rift." "i mean, if it just stayed open, some poor sap could be wandering by and-- hello, mongo." "there are scents from mongo present, though." "too faint to follow." "so something came through." "we must expand our search." "continuing our effort here is futile." "hey, don't say that until you've seen the breakfast nook." "eydie adkins, i'm the realtor." "have you got any questions i can answer?" "yes, actually have you seen anything unusual or perhaps someone strange in your garage?" "cascade acres is a gated community." "no one strange is permitted." "ha!" "oh, that wasn't a joke." "could i give you the tour, mr... frelinghoffer." "frelinghoffer." "and this is my brother, um... frelinghoffer." "and this is-- the little lady." "little?" "i have suitable proportions and great strength." "isn't she adorable?" "oh, you two of you are going to love the master bedroom." "[smirk] i do not share a sleeping chamber with this fidgety little man." "oh, i've heard that so often these days, what with sleep disorders and snoring... i would rather lay with a deviate henja beast wrapped in gangis thistle." "what a colorful expression." "you know, i am dying to see that breakfast nook." "could you just give us a minute?" "of course." "all right, if ming sent someone through, it's definitely not a tourist." "i suggest that we split up and spread out." "i'm going to call dale, see if she's available to help... unless, of course, you crazy kids want to keep house hunting." "[***]" "we'll grab some burgers and get right back out on the hunt." "i had no idea it was going to take this long, but thank you so much for your help." "[cellphone rings] hey, i got to grab this." "hey, you." "hi, gorgeous." "where are you?" "i dropped by your office with some mr. chin's." "that's so thoughtful, but i'm out in the field." "aw, too bad." "i got those little dumpling things you like." "i'd love to, but i have a feeling this is gonna take a while, so i'll see you tomorrow, okay?" "sure." "save me a dumpling." "will do." "hey, flash gordon!" "where you been hiding, man?" "hey, zack." "how you doing, bud?" "good, good." "man, this place never changes, huh?" "still the best place in kendal to hook up." "excuse me, ladies." "yeah?" "my buddy, flash, here just bought you a drink." "ooh, thank you. hi." "hi." "the blonde one's a yoga instructor." "she's very bendy." "actually, i'm not looking for a date tonight." "i know, man." "that's why you're the perfect wingman." "when she sees she can't get you, she'll go for me." "really?" "mm-hmm." "flash is... a three-time tri-city marathon champion." "wow." "why do you do that?" "natural game." "i run college track." "nice." "maybe... maybe you and i should have a little competition sometime." "you know what?" "you sign up for the marathon next year, and we'll see what you got." "hey, i'm not done." "hey, buddy... enjoy the nachos." "burgers?" "you got it." "have a good night." "forget that jerk, man, just have another beer." "what just happened back there?" "nothing. some drunk got in my face." "come on, we've gotta find whatever came through." "don't worry, we will." "come on, the back door's quicker." "i'm out of here." "the thing i've noticed about visitors from mongo is they're not exactly discreet." "that's what i'm afraid of." "zarkov and i were also unsuccessful in our search." "we've hit a dead end." "maybe not." "the tv station gets an overnight crime report from the p.d." "you got a lead on our alien?" "could be." "a man was mugged last night by a guy wearing" ""a strange costume and a helmet."" "that sounds promising." "but all he stole was a bottle of water." "who mugs someone for an aquafina?" "somebody from mongo." "exactly." "well, at least it's less fatal than their usual attacks on earth people, not that i'm complaining." "where'd it happen?" "let me just find it." "just call me when you find it." "okay." "see ya." "that guy was mugged right around here." "okay, this is the spot." "hey, can you do that thing you do, you know, where you pick up the trail?" "perhaps." "it is not necessary." "it's one of ming's patriot soldiers." "i'm betting he's not here to picnic." "baylin!" "baylin!" "he's dead." "...to ancient rome, when it was used to express political opinion." "in modern times... it's not that bad." "what?" "fluff pieces always attract more viewers than real news, anyway." "well, then my upcoming piece on fashions for dogs should really rock the ratings." "you interested in something not fluffy or furry?" "what?" "i got a tip about a college kid that went missing." "since when?" "last night." "anything weird about it?" "weird?" "it's been less than 24 hours." "why's it a story?" "nobody put out an apb on me when i skipped class in college." "well, it could turn out to be nothing, but it's not like there's anything else going on in kendal today." "the wound is that of an ip." "close range, termination pulse." "he doesn't actually look all that beat up-- well, except for the dead part and grass stains." "true." "he shows no signs of battle." "he did not resist his attacker." "[sniffs] ugh." "what?" "toe jam?" "a most pungent odor." "bodily secretion i am not familiar with." "'kay. can you hurry this up a little?" "because if somebody sees this, it's going to be a little..." "little hard to explain." "the peculiar scent is that of a killer." "he, too, is from mongo." "you got all that from a sock?" "wow, you are good." "assuming you're right." "would you like to reassess?" "hmm?" "no." "no, i'll take your nose for it." "so, what have we got here?" "we got two...two visitors from mongo." "one offs the other for some unknown reason." "which leaves us one alien on the loose, and they're armed and a killer." "he destroyed the rift blaster... and he has no intention of returning to mongo." "you are good." "i know." "[***]" "did you find anything?" "was it a false alarm?" "not exactly." "aah!" "don't worry, he's dead." "aah!" "stop screaming or i will hurt you." "what happened?" "who did this?" "did she?" "i have not harmed anyone today...yet." "look, you can't just bring a dead alien home with you." "what am i supposed to do?" "leave him there?" "well, he's dead." "i mean, somebody might be looking for him." "it's not like i'm going to stuff him and keep him in the living room." "we just need to keep him here until we know what's going on." "get his legs." "oh, no, no, no!" "put him down, put him down, put him down!" "who's this?" "that's joe. that's joe." "that's dale's fiance." "the detective?" "oh, my god, this is really not good." "hey, joe, how you going?" "uh, dale's not here." "if i was looking for dale, why would i come to see you?" "no reason." "no reason at all." "what are you doing here?" "a college student's missing." "didn't show up for his track meet this morning." "just so happens that he was the same guy that witnesses saw you in an altercation with last night." "oh, that guy?" "he was lit up." "i mean, he's probably just sleeping it off at his house." "have you checked the dorm?" "being a police detective and all, it did occur to me to check his house before yours." "right, sorry." "my bad." "wait, am i some kind of suspect?" "well, his car's still parked near the bar, and friends said that he disappeared soon after his run-in with you." "so what do you think happened?" "that, you know, i snapped, and i killed him, and dragged his body back to the house?" "i mean, bringing a dead body back to the house, that's just crazy." "[laughing] then you won't mind telling me where you went after you left the bar." "i drove around." "with who?" "friends." "one of those friends?" "well, then you won't mind if i ask them." "this is about me and dale, isn't it?" "what about you and dale?" "we're friends." "but we used to be a lot more, so i mean, that's got to bother you." "actually, it doesn't." "then why'd you drive over here personally?" "you must think a lot of yourself to believe i'd use police business as an excuse to intimidate you." "i'm not intimidated." "you know what?" "this conversation, it's over." "what the hell is wrong with you?" "do you want to get arrested for obstructing an investigation?" "maybe." "you can answer my questions now or down at the station in a cement room." "your choice." "[***]" "[honking] hey!" "hey!" "get away!" "you arrested him." "i detained him." "he was uncooperative." "and that guy's got a real attitude on him." "is it possible that you over-reacted because of me on some subconscious level?" "okay, this isn't personal." "my current boyfriend just detained my former boyfriend." "it seems a little vindictive." ""current boyfriend?"" "that's what you call me now?" "i'm your fiance, remember?" "i've known flash a long time." "yeah, so everyone keeps reminding me." "and take my word, he's not capable of harming anyone." "when flash comes up with an alibi for last night, he's free to go." "last night?" "i was with flash last night." "that's what he was hiding." "we were working on the story." "right, the big story." "yes." "i've told you about it." "the death of his father, the government cover-ups, and a lot of things i can't really talk about." "mm-hmm. things a reporter can't divulge." "uh-huh." "what do you think is going on?" "i think it better be friggin' watergate, because if it's not a pulitzer you're after, then it's just an excuse to spend time with flash gordon." "there's nothing between us, joe." "then why didn't he just tell me the truth?" "and when i called yesterday, why didn't you bother to mention it?" "dale... i want to grow old with you, but unless i'm sure you feel the same way, i'm not walking down the aisle with you." "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry." "sorry if i caused problems between you two, but he was 20 feet away from an alien body." "i couldn't think of any other diversion." "zarkov told me when he called... after he stopped hyper-ventilating." "well, if there's anything i can do to smooth things over... i have to tell joe the truth." "well, wait, wait, about mongo and the rifts?" "no, no, you can't." "keeping this a secret is tearing us apart." "anybody who knows about the portage initiative is in danger." "my father was just the first victim." "if you care about joe... okay, okay, i get it." "speaking of which, this missing athlete, any reason to think he's connected?" "[honk honk]" "he went missing the same day the rift opened." "it's a weak link, could be coincidence." "i hope so, because i'd hate to uncover a story and then cover it back up again." "oh, thank goodness." "are you all right?" "yeah, i'm fine." "my cellmate, bubba, was asleep." "what did i miss?" "zarkov believes we must return the patriot soldier's carcass." "back to mongo?" "is that the best plan?" "if we dump him, he'll be found and examined." "that opens up a whole can of worms." "and it's not like we can bury him in your back yard." "your mother might find him while gardening." "that would be awkward." "it's okay. sold." "but you got to handle it." "i got to look for this other alien." "whoa, whoa." "or we could trade, and you could track the one that's alive and armed." "i'm good." "baylin?" "[sniffs] excuse me, what are you doing?" "ahem. sorry." "baylin, the police department is not the best place to call attention to yourself, okay?" "the killer is near." "wait a minute, what?" "[sniffs] sorry." "the pungent odor found on the dead patriot... is this way." "police impound yard?" "anyone who hides here has a lot of nerve or a sense of humor." "hey, no. no, no, no, no. no, no." "no. no." "[tv]: do you wake up feeling drowsy?" "listless?" "like a truck parked all night on your tongue?" "well, say goodbye to sore backs... it is not this one." "thanks for clearing that up." "we must proceed beyond the fence." "i think the nice policeman might have a problem with that." "i will inflict the talon groin grip." "he will surrender swiftly." "or not, because i've already been behind bars once today, thank you." "we'll find another way in." "i thought you wanted to shoot this outside the police station." "i thought this would make a better backdrop." "i want this photo of the track team in the shot." "okay, spill." "you're distracted and your mascara is smudged from crying." "what did joe do?" "nothing." "except he's jealous you're spending time with your hunky ex." "i'm not a detective, but even i've noticed the hushed phone calls." "look, i'm not judging." "just... if you need me to cover for you, give me a heads up, all right?" "can we do this?" "yeah." "local college track star keith parks was reported missing earlier today when he didn't show up for a team meet." "the 22-year-old senior was last seen at mustangs bar yesterday early evening if you have any information please contact police or WID news for hotline 5channel news stella" "see that?" "that was easy." "no violence, no bloodshed." "you have strange priorities." "lead the way." "you smell anything?" "what does it smell like?" "the odor is potent." "what?" "belongs to the missing track star." "****" "###" "for the website, but if we could find an action shot taken at a track meet... there. her." "can i help you, sir?" "keith." "not..." "not missing." "you've seen him?" "[coughing] i'll get some water." "i'm keith... you're keith's neighbor?" "grandfather?" "i'm sorry." "i don't understand what you're trying to tell me." "i want you." "you will not be denied." "whoa, okay." "here?" "baby, baby, my house is 15 minutes from here." "we could... or not." "whatever you want" "okay." "i'm going to try and get you out of this." "there's, like, some kind of a zipper or intergalactic velcro or something?" "your expression is amusing." "ha, ha, ha, ha." "what is that?" "is that, like, some kind of knee-slapping verden humor?" "why have you not yet dispatched him back to mongo?" "i've tried. okay?" "there's too many people around the garage." "it's only a matter of time before that rift collapses for good, so we're going to have to get him into a disguise to get him through in time." "what do you think, bowling shirt or golf shirt?" "sneakers?" "loafers?" "boxers?" "briefs?" "if you know something, i need to call the police." "i think he came to you because he saw you on tv." "so is he a witness, or is he just looking for his 15 minutes?" "what?" "keith park's wallet." "where did you find this?" "sir?" "joely... already dialing." "i need some help." "ambulance." "i have an emergency." "i have an elderly gentleman that's collapsed in my office." "the coroner's gone." "you okay?" "i'm all right, thanks." "i'll show the old man's photo around mustangs and canvass the neighborhood." "if someone knows where he lives, maybe i can find a link between him and keith park." "sounds like a long shot." "out of leads?" "if you're asking me as a reporter, i'll have to give you my official response." "off the record?" "if we're going off the record, i'd rather talk about us." "dale, i miss you, okay, and i-- dale, why aren't you answering your phone?" "i got a lead-- joe." "i'm sure you two have a lot to talk about." "joe." "i'm sorry." "that's bad timing." "hey, if you need to go after him... i can go after him." "no no no i know after him i'm fine" "you can by because i want to a ?" "umh missing track star and the rogue alien, it's not a coincidence." "i got to go." "so there's nothing out of the ordinary you recall?" "i already talked to the police." "well, is there anything you didn't tell them because it seemed, i don't know, a little out of this world?" "sometimes your eyes can play tricks on you." "after a couple of drinks... one shot of tequila and i think i'm seeing people with wings and horns or...ray guns." "it's true." "yeah?" "bet you're fun to party with." "i told you, you're not allowed in here." "hey, the guy you should talk to, ian finley." "he's keith's best friend and a regular fixture at mustangs." "is he here?" "no. he missed practice." "and the jerk was supposed to be my ride home." "didn't even call." "maybe i should have given my number to you." "would you have called?" "we may have a second victim." "he looks good, right?" "he looks much like the earth men i see at the great shopping palace staring at the large- screen visual displays, except deceased." "yes, we shall survey the garage, my brother." "a man's man requires a space for his tools." "what are you doing?" "being inconspicuous." "perhaps you should stop shouting odd phrases in a loud volume at a dead man." "oh, mr. frelinghoffer!" "you came back!" "is mrs. frelinghoffer with you?" "yes, of course." "she's... here somewhere." "well, i see you brought a friend with you." "i did." "this is my brother." "not the brother that you met." "another brother." "this is bernie." "hello, i'm eydie." "he can't speak." "he's had dental surgery." "aah!" "what's the matter?" "a bee." "well, bernie, do you think your brother should buy this house?" "well, that is because you haven't had the full tour." "here we go." "baylin?" "baylin?" "baylin?" "his disguise was effective." "and he made a friend." "[chuckles weakly]" "sorry, man." "don't recognize him." "it's important." "he may have been a witness to a crime." "maybe he lives around here?" "i don't know." "i mean, if somebody that old came in, i think i'd remember him." "you know, the way bernie was staring at that whirlpool tub, i thought he was going to jump in." "well, i mean, i know that he's dying to see the garage, seeing as he's seen everything else." "okay." "i did not sufficiently study the identical beige tiles in the bonus room." "oh, all right." "well, i bet that we can trust the gentlemen to find the garage by themselves." "whoo!" "bernie!" "well, it was a very nice to meet you, too." "call me." "i think i'm going to miss him." "we've got one missing athlete, possibly two, both on the track team." "is that relevant?" "maybe. but what else do they have in common?" "will you help me?" "of course." "are you looking for someone?" "ian finley?" "he missed practice, sir." "i'm here." "dale?" "ahem." "how many elderly people do you know that wear university- issued track shoes?" "the missing athletes aren't missing at all." "they're old." "ian?" "oh, my god." "oh, easy, easy, easy. easy." "ian, who did this to you?" "lillian." "lillian." "hi." "the return of the patriot soldier is a most curious development." "and lillian?" "unaccounted for." "what of this?" "i don't know what to make of it precisely, but we do know that lillian can be persuasive." "rankol?" "her capture is of the highest priority." "and send someone who won't end up like this." "so, the old guy that died in dale's office was a 22-year-old kid." "i know of no one on mongo who is capable of stealing youth as you describe." "oh, yeah, well, what about those amadrians, huh?" "they're a little weird." "in fact, the whole planet's a little freaky." "odd, to me it is earth that is pretty freaky." "mongo is a diverse planet with many strange inhabitants." "do not presume i know all who exist there." "yeah, well, what about the name lillian?" "it holds no meaning to me." "he didn't make it." "the second victim died in the emergency room." "i'm sure they had no idea what they were dealing with." "neither do we." "well, we know it's a woman, or at least a creature in the form of a woman that likes to target young men." "that narrows it down." "where are her hunting grounds?" "people, like creatures, are habitual." "first guy disappeared leaving mustangs." "well, if she was successful there, she will likely return." "[***] [klaxon sounds]" "rift alert again." "[cell phone rings] hello?" "we got another rift." "kinser pike and third." "well, we're right behind mustangs, half a block away from the storage facility, on a hot trail to find lillian, our visitor from mongo." "guess you'll have to investigate this one yourself." "what?" "no, no, no, no, no." "well, there's usually nothing there by the time we show up anyway, right?" "[zarkov]: yeah, i suppose, but... well, good luck." "uh...no." "what?" "you smell something?" "freaky chick with a glowy ring." "that would be a yes." "[flash]:" "look after him." "sir, are you okay?" "there she is!" "she went this way." "come on, she's getting away." "dale?" "joe?" "oh, my god." "yes, we have definitely come to the right place." ""we" being me." "huh." "okay, should be right around here." "hmm. no one." "oh!" "please don't shoot." "zarkov." "let's split up." "hey." "you must be lillian." "you're kind of cute... for a life-sucking leech." "how you know of me?" "i've seen your work, but i have to say... i'm not really a fan." "no." "****" "%%%%" "####" "$$$$ you got smell her." "oh, that is powerful stuff." "a lot better than ck one." "is that her?" "what the hell did you do to him?" "is that one yours?" "the force i took from him was strong." "and you're going to give it back." "wait a minute, that's joe?" "[explosion] aah!" "aah!" "hey, guys." "uh, there was something at the rift." "fancy meeting you here." "back to mongo?" "hey, buddy, all i can say is good riddance." "get in." "baylin, cover me." "[***]" "come on." "do not move." "stay here." "[soldier]: release the prisoner to my custody." "[flash]: i don't like to hit girls, but if i had to... i must return her to nascent city, by order of rankol." "not until lillian heals joe." "and why would i return his life source?" "to please you?" "that's a good point." "why don't you keep it?" "and i'll keep this." "no." "pretty." "some kind of power conducting stone?" "even with your mongo mating mist, i saw this coming at me a mile away." "you want it pretty bad, huh?" "what do you have to trade?" "hmm?" "fine." "[***]" "joe!" "dale?" "hey, everything's okay, babe." "you okay?" "yeah, hey, what's the matter?" "yeah." "where are we?" "if you return, i will dispense a painful death and use your withered hide as a tarp." "how's joe?" "he doesn't remember anything." "thank goodness." "well, hopefully he forgets the part where i busted in and totally screwed up your relationship." "i almost lost him tonight... and it made me think about how important it is to show the people that we love how we feel." "dale... i'm glad joe's okay." "[sigh]" "tell me, lillian, did the earth men you consumed have a gratifying life force?" "yes, benevolent father." "strong and untainted." "more satisfying than a verden or a turin life force?" "it is understandable why you would be reluctant to return, and why you would kill a patriot soldier in order to remain on earth." "i beg your forgiveness." "earth's population is abundant, and... i was weak to the temptation." "if you service me well tonight, perhaps you will receive forgiveness in return." "****" "%%%%" "$$$$$" "####" "@@@@@" "!" "scour the banelands." "find another of her kind... and have someone clean this mess up."