"If you had a choice, " " Yeah ?" " would you rather love a girl, or have her love you?" " I want it mutual." " I mean if you couldn't it mutual." "Would I rather be the one who loves, or is loved?" "It's not that easy a question." "I think I'd rather be in love." "Me, too." "I wouldn't want to get hurt, though." " You were in love with Gloria." " I was starting to be in love with her." "Then she let me feel her up on the first date." "Turned me right off." " You kept going with her." " Well, she let me feel her up." " What about Gwen?" " Her I could talk to." " I've never been able to talk to any girl." " I was really getting crazy about her." "But she's stuck up." "She wouldn't let me lay a hand on her." " So I went back to Gloria." " You want perfection." " What do you want, wise guy?" " She just has to be nice." "That's all." " You'd not want her beautiful?" " She doesn't have to be beautiful." " I'd like her built, though." " I want mine sexy looking." " I wouldn't want her look like a tramp." " Sexy doesn't mean she has to look like a tramp." " There's a middle ground, you know?" " I would want that." "Tall, very tall..." "That would scare me." "She should be very understanding." "Start the same sentences together." " I'd like that." " Big tits..." " Yeah, but still a virgin." " I don't care about that." "I wouldn't mind if she was a little ahead of me, with those big tits." "And knew hundreds of different ways." "I want more of a companion." "The other stuff I can get on the outside." "The first time I do it, I want it beautiful." "I don't want to waste it on some beast." "I feel the same way about getting laid as I feel about going to college." "I'm being pressured into it." " You like that?" " Yeah." "I'd give her to you." " What's wrong?" "I'm a generous guy." "Yeah, I'm grateful." "How do I break the news to her?" "You go over there." "There's a way to talk to girls, you know?" "Tell her a joke." "Tell her about your unhappy childhood." " That's not bad." " But don't make it like an act." "Go ahead." "Go ahead, schmuck." "If you don't, I will." "You can't even stand up." " I fucked up." " My turn." " She's mine, you gave her to me." " You struck out." "I get two more times at bat." " This is the first time I've been at a college mixer." " Me too, I hate them." " It's so phony way of meeting people." " Everybody puts on an act." " So even if you meet somebody you don't know who you meet." " Because you're meeting the act." " I'm not sure I agree." " I don't either." " You don't agree with what you said?" " How do you feel about it?" "People like to think they put on an act, but it's really them." " They think they can change it." " They're kidding themselves?" " It is an act, but the act is them." " Then how can it be an act?" " Because they're an act." " They're also real." "So I'm not real?" " I'm an act?" " It's all right, so am an act too." "Don't you behave differently with different people?" " With your family?" " I thought you meant different people." " Sure, with my family..." " And with friends, you're another way." "And with your teachers, still another way." "So which one is you?" " Well, if you put it that way." " You ought to be a lawyer." " I'm gonna be a lawyer." "A lady lawyer." "You're from Smith, right?" " Do you like it?" " Yeah." "Do you like Amherst?" "Sure." "My parents worked very hard to send me." "I'd better like it." "Do you have a name?" " Susan." " I'm Sandy." "I think you can make out with her." "She's stuff." " You think so?" " I wouldn't kick her out of bed." " Shouldn't I try somebody else?" " Who?" "She was the best-looking girl at the whole mixer." "I'll say that for her." "Wasn't she?" " Her tits were too small." " Yeah." "The hell with her." " But her legs were great." " You thing so?" "I was standing too close I couln't tell." "I wouldn't kick her out of bed." " She's got funny ideas." " I wouldn't kick her out of bed." " Don't rush me." " What's the matter?" "I like you very much." "It's our third date." "You let me kiss you last week." "If I could kiss you once last week, I should be able to kiss you twice tonight." " You're the only boy I can talk to." " I can't see you being quiet." "If somebody doesn't approve of what you are..." " Whatever that is." " You just don't tell him." "I mean, if I like a boy and I want him to keep liking me, and I'm brighter than him, " " I can't show it or I'll lose him." " I don't want anyone overly bright." " You wouldn't feel threatened." "Not nearly as much as some people." "I want to write novels." "Later, when I have something to say." "Does that threaten you?" "No." "Maybe a little." "Don't press so hard." "It's better when it's gentle." "See?" "What are you grinning at?" " Did you feel her up yet?" " I don't want to ruin things." "Was I right about kissing her?" " You won?" " I don't know." " You let yourself be pushed around." " You're pushing me around." "I guess I won, she kissed me five times." "That's when you should've put your hand on her tit." " I should do that to her?" " She's not doing you a favor." "When a girl lets you kiss her, and feel her up..." "Go all the way and all the rest of it..." "Isn't it a favor?" "What's in it for her?" "She's not getting paid or anything." "Fuck you." "Okay, I'll feel her up." "Please take your hand off my breast." " Why?" " 'Cause I want you to." " It can't be fun if you know I don't want it." " I didn't say it was fun." " Then why is your hand where it is?" " Because the way we're going, I should be feeling you up." "I don't feel that way about you, Sandy." "I feel that way about you." "Don't you want me to feel something for you, too?" "I do like you, but I like you for other reasons." "If we went any further, there wouldn't be those reasons anymore." " We might have something else." " What?" "Something else." "You're the first girl I've ever done that to, Susan." " I didn't know that." " It doesn't show?" "It's something we both have to go through." "Susan, are you a virgin?" "What do I do with my other hand?" "What are you gonna do with your hands?" "Then she told me to take my hand off her breast." "I said I didn't want to." "She said how could it be fun for me if she didn't like it?" "I said I thought she liked me." "She said, "for other reasons."" "I told her I really needed this." "That it was my first time." " What did you say exactly?" " I don't remember exactly." "That she was the first girl I ever tried to feel up." "Was that a mistake?" "Then she got nicer to me." " She put my hand on her breast." " You mean she left it on." " She picked it up and put it on." " She took your hand?" " And put it on like this?" " Yes." "I didn't know what to think." "Suddenly she gets pretty aggressive." "Then I asked if she was a virgin." " You're kiddning?" " Was that a mistake?" " Anyhow, she is." " She says." "So you got one or two hands on her tits?" " She put the other hand on the other." " Two hands?" "I said, "What are you gonna do with your hands?"" " Then what?" " She unzipped my fly." " Bullshit artist!" "Then what?" " Then she did it." "Did what?" "Bullshit artist!" "She really did that to you?" "Is this Susan?" "Well, you don't know me." "I'm a friend of Sandy's, his roommate." "Yeah, Jonathan." "He told you about me?" "I'm here at Smith just for tonight, practically on campus." "I was just taking a drive and I found myself practically on campus." "Do you like Smith?" " Where did you go to high school?" " What do you do in the summer?" "You always answer a question with a question?" "You always date your best friend's girl?" " Sandy told me you were beautiful." " He told me you were sexy." " I guess he's just a poor judge." " I guess he meant you had personality." " You have a special quality." "I like girls who are special." " I'm hardly that special." "Most girls I talk to it's like we're spies from foreign countries,   speaking in code." "Everything means something else." "I say, "How about a walk?" And it means something else." ""No, I've got a French test tomorrow." And it means something else." "And you say, "I'll help you study." And it means something else." "You're very sharp, I like that." "And that means something else." " You're too sharp." " Does that bother you?" " It interests me." " We'd be good together." " I'm dating your best friend." " He won't mind." "I won't tell him." " What if I mind?" " Want to go out Friday?" " I'm seeing Sandy." " Saturday?" " I have a date." " Sunday?" " I'm seeing my folks." " Where do they live?" " Newton." " Sunday night?" " I'll be too tired." "I'll help you get over your folks." " What are you so afraid of?" " Not you." "I think I'm in love." " Bullshit artist." " I really think so." " Did you get in yet?" " What's that got to do with it?" "How do you know if you don't know how you are in bed together?" "She tells me thoughts I didn't even know I had until she tells them to me." " I can talk to her." " You can talk to me too." "You're in love with me?" "I can say things to her I wouldn't dare say to you." " Things you'd laugh at." " I'm laughing now." "She thinks I'm sensitive." "Sensitive?" "Oh, boy!" " Do you to her talk about?" "Flowers?" " Books." " I read more books than you do." " Well, I'm gonna start." " I'm reading "The Fountainhead."" " What's that?" "Her favorite book." "Ever hear of "Jean Christophe"?" "It's a classic, you moron." "I'll read it right after "The Fountainhead."" "Ever read "Guadalcanal Diary" by Richard Tregaskis?" "I read it." "Ever read "Gentleman's Agreement"?" "Or "A Bell For Adano"?" " I'm gonna read everything from now on." " I read more than you do." "So who's the one who's sensitive?" "You or me?" "Come on, who's sensitive?" " I've had a very messed-up childhood." " What does your father do?" " He fails." "It's not funny." " I'm sorry." "Were you very poor?" "My father couldn't hold on to a job." "He kept giving me advice." "The more he failed, the more advice I got." "He's a communist, my father." "We're republicans." "Sometimes I think I'm a communist." "Me, too." "We have so much, and other people have so little." "After I get set up as a lawyer, I really want to go into politics." "Public service." "What really gets me is I was too young to fight in the war." "Because what was all about except to prove if everybody pitches in,   plain people have a chance." "So although I'm the first in my family to get an education, " " I don't ever want to forget where I came from." " You're more serious than I thought." " I know." "I'm another person with her." "The things that come out of my mouth..." " Boy!" "Is she built?" " She has... a quality." "She doesn't talk much, but the things she says are sharp." "We should double-date some time." "I want to know her better before we double-date." "Isn't it great?" "A month ago, neither of us even knew a girl." " What's her name?" " Myrtle." "Bullshit artist!" "You're not kidding me?" "You really did it!" " Next it's my turn." " I don't think she'll do it." " Sandy, find somebody else." " Are you crazy?" "I'm on the verge." "I'll see her tomorrow night." "Sandy?" "Do you ever talk to her about me?" "Sometimes." "Do me a favor." "Don't tell her I got laid." "Please, Susan." "Sometimes I want to do it and a second later I don't want to do it." " Let's do it." "I don't know why you put up with me." " I don't think I can do it." " It really hurts, Susan." " Let me." " Not anymore." "Susan, let's do it." "I love you." "Do you have anything?" "How long have you had that?" " Not a year or anything?" " I'm sure it's okay." " I won't take any chances." " These things have to be okay." "It's okay." "I'm positive it's okay." " You think you're the first time in history who ever get laid." " I'm the first time in my history who ever get laid." "You don't hear me crowing about it." "There's such a thing as good taste." "After you started scoring, what did I get out of you?" ""We did it standing, sitting, in the car, under the car." "Myrtle, Myrtle, Myrtle!"" "Maybe you forget that I knew Susan before you knew Myrtle and who scored first?" "You!" "That didn't make me feel very good." "It made me very jealous." "But I didn't try to shut you up." " I'm your friend, I sat through it." " Okay, you made your point." "Sometimes I think I'm a better friend to you than you are to me." "Didn't you ever do that?" "Of course, I knew what "misled" meant." "But when I saw it, I thought it was "myzeled"!" "I kept wondering what it meant." "Anybody ever heard of "Round John Virgin"?" " Little John!" " What did you say?" " Round John Virgin." " Round yon virgin mother and child." "All right:" "Gunshee." "G-u-n-s-h-y." "Susan, do the one about the bear." "The hymn we used to sing in church about the bear with crossed eyes?" "Whose name was Gladly." "Don't you know it?" "Gladly the cross I'd bear." "Oh, Gladly the cross-eyed bear!" "Pronounce this:" "C-h-o-p-h-o-u-s-e." "Chophus..." "Chop house." " This has to stop." " I don't know how to tell him." " You don't have any trouble telling him a lot of other things." " What does that mean?" "The way you talk to him I don't ever hear you talking to me that way." " What way?" " I don't know." " I don't want to hurt him." " You're hurting me." " He loves me." " That's no reason to go to bed with him." "You would have just gone on if he hadn't told me, wouldn't you?" " I would never have known." " I don't know." "Maybe." " Boy, you're really something." " I don't feel like something." "I feel like nothing." "How much longer do you expect me to take this?" " I'm trying to tell him." " I see how you're trying." "It's not my fault." "I don't enjoy these fights." "You're supposed to be in love with me." "I'm gonna tell him." "What?" "No, Jonathan!" " Try understanding me for once." " You're stronger." " You tell him everything else, you can tell him about us." " What do you mean I tell him everyting." "Who says so?" "He tells me, he's my best friend." "Are you going to tell him?" "He's so helpless." "Susan, I love you." "Why can't you be more with me like you are with Sandy?" "She says she's no good for me." "Maybe she's trying to let you down easy." "Go ahead and laugh." "It adds up." "Go ahead and laugh." "You don't know every mood of mine like you know his." "How come?" "You don't tell me thoughts I never knew I had." " You can do it with me." " I can't." "You can do it with him, you can do it with me." " I can't with you." " This has gone far enough." " I can't stand any more ultimatums." " This is my last one now tonight you tell him about us.." "..." "Or tomorrow I tell him." "Look at me!" "Now tell me my goddamn thoughts!" " You didn't do it, did you?" " No." " Why not?" " He looks at me with such trust." " How do I look at you?" " With bitterness." "It used to be trust." "At least you know my thoughts." " Did you tell him?" " What do you think?" "What do we do now?" " I guess I get an ultimatum." " Do you think there's any sense in this?" " In what?" " In you and me." " That's up to you." " No, it's up to you." "I don't see any point in it." "I wish I were wrong." "I don't feel anything anymore." "Neither do I." "The reason I didn't say anything to Sandy I knew he wouldn't believe me." "And I'd go into details." "I knew he'd come running to you,   you'd tell him it was all true, and then you'd go to bed with him." "Yeah, that sounds like what would happen." " So?" " So?" "Jonathan..." " I'll always be your friend." " Jesus, Susan, I hope not." "It's going to be buggy." "It's the tropics, the jungle." " Just can cover yourself from head to toe." " I'll get eaten alive." "You've never camped out." "Isn't he being silly, Jonathan?" " You're a real city boy." " How about the cot?" " We've got a sleeping bag." " You're really serious about sleeping on the ground?" " Christ, this knapsack's heavy." " I told you you overpacked." "What you plan to do with a pillowcase?" " Put it back." " Isn't he a nut, Jonathan?" " You pack your things." "Let me pack mine." " I'm just trying to help..." " Jesus..." " Do you want her?" " I wouldn't kick her out of bed." " Look at the pair on her." " Look at that schmuck's trying to keep up with her." " They're always with guys like that." " That guy must be 60." " Maybe he will have a heart attack." "You could save his life." "Get her number and fuck her." "You bastard..." " How's Susan?" " Couldn't be better." "I always said it and I say it now:" "You found yourself a jewel." " Not bad, that one." " You get more than your share." " I'd marry if I found the right girl." " Bullshit artist." "You and your actress friends..." "Are you kidding, Doctor." "You're the one that's got the deal." "What can I say?" ""Take your clothes off, I wanna check your capital gains."" " I just look." " Sure you do." "Susan is plenty enough woman for one man." "Hey, look at that." " That's Sally Joyce." " I saw her on TV." "I fucked her once." " Bullshit artist." " We used to do her taxes." " She's with another firm now." " Why not say hello?" "She wouldn't remember me." "She's a real ball-buster." "I've been through the mill with her kind." "You think a girl goes for you, you'll find out she's after your money or your balls..." "Or your money and your balls." "Women today are better hung than the men." " I should have your problems." " It is not as easy getting laid as it used to be." "I don't think I fuck more than a dozen new girls a year now." "I may be too much of a perfectionist." "This last one came so close to being the one I want." "Good pair of tits on her." "Not a great pair." "Almost no ass at all, and that bothered me." "Sensational legs." "I would have settled for the legs, if she had two more inches here and three more here." " Anyhow, that took two years out of my life." " You don't want a family?" "I don't want to put it down but who needs it?" " You can't make fucking your life's working." " Don't tell me what I can and can't do." "You so well-off?" "Susan's a very good homemaker." "Very efficient." "I come home, everything is in its place." "Which I like." "It's tiring, a full day at the office, then the hospital for a few hours." "So it's nice when everything's in its place." "Martini, dinner, the kids." "We don't watch much TV." "We read aloud to each other." "We used to have more friends." "On weekends we might entertain a little, or go over to see a friend." "Come into town, see a play or a good film." "It's not glamourous or anything." "There are other things than glamour." " You have a long lifeline." " I like that." "The way you run your nail across my..." " You're difficult to get along with." " Me?" "Bobbie..." " You always know your own mind." " Right this minute, anyway." "You won't stop going after what you want until you get it." "Let me see your hand." " Well?" " You are built." " Do you see that in my hand?" " Even your hand is built." " I think you're a dirty old man." " I'm a dirty young man." " How old are you?" " What do you think?" "19... 20?" " 21?" "22..." " No." " 24." " You skipped 23." " 23?" " No." "24?" "25?" " 26?" "27?" " You're getting warm." "28?" "29." "I like going out with older women." "Are you married?" " Are you kidding?" " You don't want to get married?" "I'd marry you in a minute." "Can you cook?" " Spaghetti." " I can cook spaghetti." " Good, you do the cooking." " Well, what'll you do?" " What would you like me to do?" " What would you like to do?" " I asked you first." " well, I'm not gonna answer you first." " Well..." "I can sow." " Doesnt sound like much of a marriage." " Me cooking spaghetti and you sowing." " You want to divorce?" "I'll take you for every cent you got." "I didn't know I was marrying a gold-digger." " You won't take pity on me?" " Only if you say you're sorry." " I'm sorry." " And you'll never do it again." " And you'll always be a good boy." " Yes, Mama." " Do you like to be mothered?" " I like to be smothered by you." "What else would you like me to do to you?" "Well, how do you like it?" " How do I like what?" " My... you know." " What do I know?" " You know everything." " I know you." " And I know you." "Well, I almost came that time." " Nurse?" " What is it, Mr. Weisenborn?" " Come in here a minute, please." " Certainly." "Why, Mr. Weisenborn!" "Most guys I know are pricks." "I don't know anymore what they want." "I'd be happy to tell ya." "They want the boodle." "But they ain't gonna get the boodle." "Because this kid here has got the boodle." "You're pretty sure of yourself." " You're a nice man." " And you're a very lucky girl." " You know something, Sam?" " What is it, sweetheart?" "Would it be a fatal mistake if we shacked up?" "It's very difficult, Bobbie." "These last weeks we get along so well together." "The idea..." "I like you very much." "So much that this idea..." "To be perfectly honest, I mean, it sounds very good to me." "Let's both give it a couple of days to think about it." "It sounds like...well, very good." "Very, very..." "hm, well..." "Good." "Only, our eyes should be open." "We should know exactly what we're getting into." "That's just a shack-up, I'm not asking you for hand in marriage." " Well, as long as we both understand that." " We do." "I just thought it's better to get it all out on the table,   so later there can be no possibility of a misunderstanding." "I don't know how many business deals I have seen come to grief..." "Okay..." "You're a real prick, you know that?" "Prick?" "I could very easily get serious about this girl." "She's a lot of fun to be with." "Just between the two of us, for the last year, I've been having..." "I don't know.. a little trouble." "I wasn't worried, but still and all..." "A little trouble with... myself." "...Getting hard." "It took a long time." "You know how girls are today, they judge you." "They judge you very quickly." "So..." "I had a real rough time a couple of times." "Some very nasty innuendos." "As I say, I wasn't too worried..." "I won't lie to you, I was a little worried." "Then along comes this Bobbie." "I get one look at the size of the pair on her   and I never had a doubt that I'd be anything but okay again." "And I was." "I was." "With all our kidding, back and forth on our first night together." "I don't mind telling you, I had tears in my eyes." "She's really the girl in the airline commercial?" "You lucky son of a bitch!" "I don't know." "I don't want to get in over my head." "I got in over my head three of four times already." "And you have to be a real bastard." "I don't like being put in that position." " What would you do?" " If she looks like she does on TV..." " Size 38, with a D cup." " Looks aren't everything." "Believe me, looks are everything." "Maybe." " I'm hungry." " I'll get up." " Why do we always have to eat so late?" " Because I work late." " Why do you work at all?" " Brings in extra money." " I make enough." " You want me to quit working?" "I thought you were bored with it." " I am." " So quit." " What would I do?" " What do other women do?" "Have children." "Well, you asked me." " What about my beer?" " We're all out." " I really wanted a beer." " Do you want me to run to the corner?" " You're too tired." " I don't mind." " I'll get it." " No, I'll get it." "It's my fault." "I knew I should have reminded you when I called." "I'm sorry." "You're more tired now than when you were working." "I'm in the house all day." "Did you get up at all today ?" "What do you do?" "When you're not telephoning?" " I'm not on the phone that much." " It took me 45 minutes to get through this afternoon." " I'll go get the beer." " No, I'll go." " I thought you were too tired." " I haven't been out all day." "Fresh air will do you good." " Will you walk with me?" " Then I may as well go myself." "You wanna make love?" "We haven't in a week." "Is it a week?" "It's funny." "Susan and I do all the right things." "We undress in front of each other, spend 15 minutes on foreplay." "We experiment doing it in different rooms." "It's a seven-room house." "We don't believe in making a ritual out of it." "We do it when we feel like it." "We don't feel we have to be passionate all the time." "Sometimes it's even more fun necking." "We're considerate of each other's feelings I had a tendency... men, I guess, have to be selfish." "But I stopped, I don't do that now." "We try to be patient, and we are patient, gentle with each other." "Maybe it's not meant to be enjoyable with women you love." "Sandy?" "Do you want to get laid?" "Please." "Very nice." "I almost had it." "Right, Cindy?" " See that, Cindy?" " He was lucky." " Bastard, that was out." " Bullshit it was." " We'll do it over, all right?" " All right." "Fair's fair." "Deuce!" "You see that shot, Cindy?" "Now we got some tennis." " Game!" "Luck, my ass!" " You want to take me on, Cindy?" " It's my turn." " Come on, Bobbie, you're so awful." "You serve." "Very nice." "You play well." "Hey, Sandy, you look at this girl?" "Terrific, Cindy." "She's racking me up, I'm not kidding." "Bou, will you look at this. 40-love." "And I'm not taking it easy on her either." "You and Lord  Taylor's are going to have to work out a trial separation." "I had the water running." "What did you say?" "You and Lord  Taylor's are going to have to work out a trial separation." "Look at the date." "Five months ago." "I'm sorry I cost you so much money." "I want to get married." "Are you tired of me, Jonathan?" "The answer is yes." " I didn't say yes." "You said, "Am I ever." I need more in life than this." "After a long exhausting bed hunt, you finally chose me." "Cindy's not a virgin either!" "Oh, I get it!" "Is that what brought this on?" "Your mind is unbelievable." "You have to have a low opinion of me thinking I that I would do that to Sandy." "No, you wouldn't want to cheat on Sandy." "He spends half his life here." "Wait a minute, a second ago you had me screwing Cindy." "Who am I screwing now?" "Sandy?" " You're going to fast for me." " I'm going too fast for you ?" "Your little mind works like an IBM, like a pinball machine." "First Cindy, oh no not Cindy." "How 'bout Sandy." "How about Cindy and Sandy?" "Talk about the pot calling the kettle." "The day I got an earfull of your checkered past, I felt like a celibate." " You made me tell." " Sure, I twisted your arm." " It got you hot!" " Something has to." " You have such contempt for me." " Kid, you worked hard for it." "It's yours." " The way you paw me at parties." " Now affection is contempt." "Everything upside down." "Feeling me up in public is not affection." "I know I sleep all day, I know I'm doing a terrible job, but you're not helping me any." " And who helps me?" " I help you." " Your kind of help I can do without." "Can you really?" "You'll do anything you can do to ruin my day." "I got up today feeling so good!" "You couldn't leave us alone." "We were doing so well." "At one time it was great what we had." "It can't have a natural time span?" "Affairs can't dissolve in a good way?" " I don't see why." "I really don't see why." " Do you want it over?" "Why does it have to be one way or the other?" "You don't want me to leave?" "I want you right here where you belong!" " What about you?" " When I'm here, I'm here." "When I'm not here, I'm... there." "No." "I'm a man-eater or a ball-buster and castrater." "I want to get married." "Where the fuck is my shoehorn?" "This place is a mess!" "There's not any food in the house." "You look like you fell out of bed!" "You spend more time in bed than any other human being passed the age of six months." "I sleep all day because I can't stand my life..." " What life?" " Sleeping all day!" "Now I'll fall in love with you all over again." " Marry me, Jonathan." "Please." " You're trying to kill me." " Marriage isn't death." " Why now?" "Because two years ago I slept 8 hours, a year ago it was 12." " Soon it'll be 24." " Are you trying to scare me?" " I need a life!" " Get a job!" " I don't want a job, I want you." " I'm taken, by me!" "Go out of the house!" " Do something useful, god damn it!" " You wouldn't let me work." "You throw a tantrum every time you call and I'm not home." "I'm out there in the jungle eight hours a day!" " You even let me canvass for Kennedy." " You want a job?" "I got a job for ya!" "Fix up this pigsty!" "You get a pretty god damn good salary for testing this bed all day." "You want an extra $50 a week?" "Try vacuming!" "An extra 100?" "Make this god damn bed!" "Try opening some god damn windows!" "That's why you can't stand up in here." "The god damn place smells like a coffin!" "You don't need me." "Why do you let yourself in for this kind of abuse?" "Walk out." "Please leave me." " For God's sake, I'd almost marry you if you'd leave me." " Call that abuse?" "You don't what I'm used to." "With all your carrying on, to me you're a gift." "So what's it gonna be?" " You sure know how to screw things up." " Where does that leave us?" "Is this an ultimatum?" "Is this an ultimatum?" "Answer me, you ball-busting castrating son-of-a-cunt bitch!" "If it is, I'm gonna tell you what you can do with your ultimatum!" "You can make this goddamned bed!" "That's what you can do with it." "Clean these filthy sheets...!" "That's what you can do with it." " She's not ready." " We're a little early." " You're looking good, Cindy." " Will Bobbie be long?" "No..." " Do we have to go to this party?" " How about it, Cindy?" "Where's the powder room?" " Right there." "I'm going, you do what you want." "Man, she's really something." " I'm so bored I'm going out of my mind." " Bored?" "With that?" "You must be kidding." "Do you have to go to this party?" " Stick around." " No, it's better that I go." "I just did my hair." "I've got this at home." "How's your tennis game, Jonathan?" " We'll have to have a rematch." " Any time." "Is she always that way?" "Boy, is she competitive." "She is very competative." "I find that attractive." "You know her problem?" "She wants balls." " She's all right." " It's no criticism." " I wish she were more feminine." " She is a little masculine." " I just wish she didn't always demands her way." " She's got a great body." "I have to treat her like a child, give her everything she wants." "I wouldn't mind giving her something." "You got Bobbie." "I should have it that good." "Bobbie, are you kidding?" "I've never seen a body like Bobbie's." "She could do with a little more of what Cindy's got." "She's so passive." "I wouldn't mind Cindy lying still once." "She so busy handing out instructions in bed it's like a close order drill." "I wouldn't mind a little of that." "As long as she doesn't forget who's boss." "You wouldn't want to swap some time, would you?" " Are you serious?" " What do you say?" "It might liven things up a bit." " She can miss one party." "Leave her to me." " What about Bobbie?" "She's so mad at me she'll jump all over you just for revenge." " Seriously?" " She's in the bedroom." "If you're quiet, you can do it and she won't even know." "Give me a minute." "Tell Sandy it's time to leave." "I hope you dance better than you play tennis." " Sandy won't mind." " What's Sandy got to do with it?" "You're his girl." "He said it would be okay." " What did Sandy say?" " That you and me... you know." " That was his idea and you had nothing to do with it?" " A little." " A little or a lot?" " This much." "I'm surprised it took you this long to get around to it." " Sandy and I have a party to go to." " Sandy's busy." "You wanna come around some time by yourself, that's one thing." "I've been expecting that." "But you tell Sandy that if he lays one hand on that tub of lard in there,   not to come home." "So you call me." "Jesus!" "She's semi-comatose." "Better send a resuscitation unit and an airway." "Be ready to give her an IV on admission." "Tell him we'll put her in intensive care." "Bastard." "Very slick." "Very clever!" "Well, it's not going to work, Bobbie!" "That's Bonnie, my first love." "She lived upstairs from us." "We started exposing ourselves to each other at ten. we caught on the roof one day by my mother." "Who washed out my mouth out with soap." "I never got the connection." "Here's Emily, my first steady until she moved off the block at eleven." "I never laid a hand on her." "Mildred, I think this one's name was." "She followed me around at school." "The fellas kidded me about her." "I warned her if she didn't stop, I'd beat her up." "She picked up her skirt, dropped her drawers and shoved her ass at me." "So I got my first sight of ass at 12." "Marcia, 13½ or thereabouts." "I kissed her one night at a spin-the-bottle party." "This one's Rosalie." "Rosalie looked just like Elizabeth Taylor in National Velvet." "I had a crush on Rosalie from 14 to 15 and I never went near her." "In those days, we had illusions." "Here's Charlotte." "Not much on looks, but great tits for 15." "That's Lenny Hartman's sister." "My first French kiss, 16 years old." "Here's Gloria, the best-built girl in school." "I took her to the Bronx' zoo and on the bus copped a cheap feel." "Here's Gwen." "I went with her for a year trying to get her to put out,   but she thought I was too nice and was saving me for marriage." "Every guy at Evander must have got into her pants except me." "Here's my first..." "No, that one's a mistake." "Here's Eileen, my very first fuck." "She was a modern dancer at Swarthmore." "Great body on her, but a waste." "Frigid." "Here's Nancy." "Sweet kid." "She went into biology." "Very frigid." "Here's Bobbie!" "My wife." "The fastest tits in the West." "And king of the ball-busters." "Conned me into marrying her.." "..and now she's killing me with alimony." "I don't know how did this one get in here?" "This is my little girl, Wendy." ""Princess," I call her." "Isn't she a dreamboat?" "Here's a real cunt." "I forget her name." "A Nazi." "I banged her in Berlin." "Here's something I went with for a few months." "First time I banged her on a yacht race to Nassau" "This slob I went with for a year, 'till I got so sick of her ballbusting and couldn't get it up anymore" "Can't remember her name." "This was my Jap in the sack." "I heard Oriental girls were different." "Not in America, they're not." "Here's a 16-year-old I gave 20 bucks to one night when I was drunk." "Maybe you know her, Jennifer." "She gave me a dose." "That's all, folks." "What are you crying for?" "It's not a Lassie movie." "Sorry about that." " So, what else is new?" " I don't see anybody anymore." " Neither do we." " You've got each other." " I thought she was your daughter when you first came in." " In a lot of ways she's older than I am." "She knows worlds I can't even begin to touch yet." " Sandy, please." " I found out who I am." " You're in big trouble." "Same old Jonathan." "Let me talk to her about you." "Talk to her about me?" "I'm forty, she's nine." " You just don't get it, do you?" " I get it all right, I've been getting it a long time." "What's the point?" "Sandy, you found a good piece of ass." "God bless you." "You're my friend, I'm happy for you, for as long as it lasts." "You deserve to be happy." "I mean it." "Why fight, okay?" "All those games, Jesus Christ!" "You don't need them, Jonathan." "I know, I've played more games than anyone." "The obedient son, bright student,   the cocksman's game." "The respectable husband's game, the good father's game." "Games don't impress Jennifer." "Just life, just love." "Yeah, well I don't want to argue with you, Sandy, so let's just agree to disagree, okay?" "Don't make me mad, okay?" "Jennifer knows more at 18 than Susan knows to this day." " You found yourself a real jewel, okay?" " She's my love teacher." " Finally got it up, huh?" " You give off such bad vibrations." "I love you, but you're a schmuck." "You were always young, Sandy, open." "Maybe schmuckiness is what you need to stay young and open." "Don't listen to me." "You're doing great and I'm making money." "You can find what I found." "Don't make me insult you." "Women..." "All ball-busters, right?" " You know it!" "When you think of what he has to dip into,   any guy with a conscience has a right to turn soft." " Am I right, Louise?" " You're always right, lover." "I don't think we're going to have any trouble tonight." " Are you sure?" " Want to bet?" " How much?" " The sky's the limit." "Goddammit!" " You're doing it all wrong." " I'm doing it like always." "You never said that before." ""The sky's the limit."" " Never." " What do I say?" "You forgot, didn't you?" "A hundred, I say a hundred." " Okay." " It just came out." "I just want it right, that's all." "I don't think we're going to have any trouble tonight." " Are you sure?" " Wanna bet?" " How much?" " A hundred." " You sound pretty sure." " With your kind of man, why shouldn't I be?" "What kind of man am I?" "A real man." "A kind man." " I'm not kind." " I don't mean weak kind, the way so many men are." "I mean the kindness that comes from an enormous strength, an inner power so strong   that every act no matter what is more proof of that power." "That's what women resent." "That's why they try to cut you down." "Because your knowledge of yourself and them is so right, so true   that it exposes the lies which every scheming one of them lives by." "It takes a true woman to understand the purest form of love:" "To love a man who denies himself to her." "A man who inspires worship." "Because he has no need for any woman." "Because he has himself." "And who is better, more beautiful, more powerful, more perfect..." "You're getting hard..." "More strong, more masculine, extraordinary." "More robust..." "It's rising." "More virile, domineering." "More irresistible..." "It's up, in the air."