"Get up!" "Can't sleep there." "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Fuck!" "Did you see that?" "Wait wait wait!" "Don't!" "The fucking rodent pissed on my leg." "Leave it!" "Leave it there!" "You mad?" "That rodent..." "Can't you see?" "It's a sign!" "Dog piss?" "Why?" "It's good luck when a crow drops on you." "So what about dog piss?" "Could be bad luck." "Leave it on." "So, the dog pissed on my leg, How come you get a visa?" "But we're... we're applying together, no?" "Idiots." "Even if you bathed in dog piss, you'd never ever get a visa." "Thanks for your bloody bucket." "It's perfect" "One leg paste - other leg piss!" "It's for a good cause Comrade." " Can't afford a course." "Just need the visa money." "Stanley." " Machan you will never get a visa to go to a white man's country." "Don't you understand." "They don't want bums like you." "They want our doctors and nurses." "I don't care about your theories." "I know one thing." "It's better there than here." "They're good countries." "The people are good." "There are more opportunities." "Even the air is fresher!" " Manoj, that's bullshit." "There's no country like your own." "Everywhere else you're a second class citizen." "So we're first class now?" "This?" "I'm late." "Get everyone ready!" "Your clothes are ironed." "Shoes are polished." "Everything's on your bed." "Hurry up Child!" "Can't you see your brother is late." "I'm coming Ma!" "Don't shout." "Hurry up!" "Don't waste time arguing." "I can finish here." "Oh shit, I need glue." "Ma!" "I need glue for the photographs." "I left it on the table." "Does anyone have any glue?" "Two minutes and I'll make some." " I'll do it." "Are you going to Germany today?" " Not Germany!" "The Embassy - fool!" "Embassies are considered countries - fool!" "Where is Manoj?" "Here Granny." "Come pray." "Is someone looking for the glue?" " I told you I was making it, no?" "Green!" "Green's the lucky colour for today!" " He's wearing green underpants." "Does that count?" "You should wear the shirt I got you." "Too bright." "I'll get rejected straight away." "Don't worry son." "I have a good feeling." "Oh dada, you say that every time." "Where is Stanley?" " Meeting me there." "No!" "No!" "That's the lucky direction to step out in!" "But the school is that way!" " Oh shush!" "You won't be like this when he sends you toys from Germany." "Gutten morgy." "Buddhist Nuns guaranteed a visa!" "Can we get our money back?" "Rajan, what the hell is this?" "Stripping Amos' roof." "That's the only way to make money?" " Got a better one?" "Seen my brother?" " What do you want?" "Nevil?" "What the fuck are you doing?" "What the fuck do you care?" "Nevil " "It's a fifty buck job." "When did you last give me fifty bucks?" "Here, forty bucks." "Tomorrow you go to school." "School!" "What's the point!" "Nevil, let's go." "See you later, ok?" "Pay you next week." "Your horse lost again." "Aunty, look at this!" "Stanley, what's this?" "Nothing, sis." "Can't handle this child." "Always crawling towards the water." "Got the money?" "We have to pay something tonight." "Bad day." "How come the new shirt then?" "Don't you understand what you've done to our family?" "Youngsters these days." "Burst a blood vessel, then die, then come running to us." "Medicines and dinner." "This one!" "This one!" "I don't want you to go." "It's the only way, my love." "These debts will destroy us." "I don't want you to go." " It's only for three years." "They are sending a group to the Middle East next month." "They want Sri Lankan maids." "Then the children, what happens to them?" "I'll come back." "Three years." "How can they be without you for three?" "They have you." "Stanley also can " "Your brother?" "We are in this mess because of that idiot!" "You gave him the money." "To go abroad!" "Not to give it to a crook!" "Did Stanley give you any money?" "Give me five minutes..." "Where is Stanley?" "Where is Stanley?" "I can see him." "Can't you see him?" "Only 4,000?" "Can't go on like this." "Next month, the interest doubles." "8,000." "Understand?" "Why don't they want me?" "To hell with those Germans." "Must be a fucking dump there anyway." "Never heard of a German cricket team." "It'll never work out." "I've had enough." "Why?" "Life is good." "The bloody rent, my gangster brother, the aunties," "Suresh and the fucking debt I got him." "I'm dead." "What're you going to do?" "Wash my leg." "What?" "The dog piss is still there." "Stanley!" "Didn't want to break the bloody charm." "Hope I don't catch some fucking disease." "Got a light?" "Fuck it!" "I'll sell my kidney." "300.000 cash." "Problem solved." "How's that for a plan?" " Who'll want your kidney, you bugger?" "Only one thing to do." "Marry one of Piyal's fat girlfriends." "Get to Germany on her." "Get it?" "On her!" "What's Handball?" "Alright machan?" "Alright." "Ah, sorry machan." "This is Stanley." "Piyal" "Super day, no?" "Ok." "Oh yeah - have you heard of this thing called Handball?" "Handball?" "That a dirty joke or something?" "It's a game." "They play in Germany." "Never heard of it." " You think you can find out?" "From your German contacts?" "Can you?" "Handball." "Anything you can find out." "Got it?" "Anything at all." "Suresh finds you here, we're both dead." "Handball and Handball Tournaments in Germany" " Come on!" "Zip" "Suresh, Suresh, wait, wait " "Where is my money?" "You ass!" "What are you doing here?" "You want me to lose my job?" "It says here that some German-Asian friendship group is inviting Handball teams from Sri Lanka." "We can also go." " I'm sick of you!" "Listen, they want Handball teams from Sri Lanka to take part in an international tournament... this September in..." " Hang on." "In Bavaria." "Where's Bavaria?" "I want nothing to do with you." "You ruined us." "Just get out!" "Get out!" "Why did you do that?" "Piyal, are you watching?" "See, you're not." "Where did you get this?" "Majestic City." "What am I going to do with you?" "Shy boy." "Why can't I be with you all the time?" "But you're leaving me, no?" "Sweetheart, I'll never make enough money here." "I know." "You know my parents have already visited his parents." "Three months." "If this works then it won't matter what your parents think of me." "Just make sure they don't marry you off before I come back." "Then, sleep with me now." "Then no one will marry me." "How are you, Suresh?" "Not good." "The more I pay back, the more I owe." "It's senseless." "I'll pray for you, my friend." "See you tomorrow then?" "Seven in a team." "Shit, we need four more." "Careful who you tell." "The whole town will turn up." "Think of all those German women in Germany!" "You're mad." "This'll never work." " Why not?" "Simple no?" "This is the plan." "Three easy steps." "First we write to Germany." "They send us an invitation." "We take the invitation to the Embassy, those bastards have to give us a visa." "Then little ones, we are out of here." "That's four steps." "Five actually." "What?" " Have to give you a visa?" "Yes, it's all legal." "We're not asking them, they are asking us." "Simple." "They are asking for a Handball team." " So?" "That's it!" "You deserve to go." "This country's better off without idiots like you." "So what are you going to be?" "Your team." "You'll need a name when you write to them." "The Modera Buffalos?" " What?" "Too much noise!" "We're trying to think here." "Got it!" "The Mutwall Lions." "Colombo Beach Boys." "Manoj, be serious." " We're the only team, no?" "No one else plays Handball in Sri Lanka." "You don't play Handball either." "We are the only team." "The National Handball Team!" "Great!" "You three!" "Want to play Handball?" "What's Handball?" "No one fucking knows!" "Isn't that great?" "Great!" "Ok, how do we begin?" "Dear..." "Who's that?" "Party Secretary." "Just the man." "Comrade, wake up." "I hear you're leaving the country?" "The country needs its young people to change." "Vijith." "You're going to the printers." "Make sure the lettering is clearer this time." "Right then, got everything?" "Stanley, want to come for a protest march?" "Will it get me a job?" "Peace will get you a job." "Ask your friend." "Have you thought about what your father and your father's father did to get you where you are?" "You're throwing all that away." "Think about that." "Vijith, son, see you at the meeting." "To get me where I am?" "Always feel like an idiot with your dad." "Don't know anything about politics." " Idiot!" "My father's politics is for people like you." "Really?" "Sure you want to leave?" "You could join the party and sacrifice your life for your country." "You stay and do it for both of us." "Any package for me from my cousin in Italy?" "Hope it's not too big like last month" "No, it's very small." "Stamps for Germany." "Stanley, are you writing to Germany?" "Not just writing, I'm going to Germany." "You lucky boy." "It's beautiful abroad." " It is, isn't it?" "Idiot!" "That idiot Stanley is going." "He can't do anything right and he's found a way to go." "I'm not going anywhere." "It's useless talking to you." "You are useless." "No Jasmine." "This is useless." "We don't even have electricity." "My cousin sends us a TV and a cooker from Italy." "How can I tell him that my husband can't even pay for electricity." "You want me to look like a fool?" "No, no, you mustn't look like a fool." "Don't you start smiling." "Wait." "We'll have to do your hair again." "30 years!" "He loses his job to a machine that makes hot air." "As if we don't have enough hot air in this country." "Hand drying machine!" "Why?" "So we can have hot air in the toilets for foreigners." "And it doesn't even dry your hands!" "They drilled it over the mark that his head made on the wall." "30 years." "I signed up, my love." "Suresh, I'm going to the Middle East." "Call from Germany!" "Hold This!" "You also in with that fool Stanley?" "Call from Germany!" "Tournament people!" "16 players in the team." "Shit!" "What?" "How much?" "500. - 500!" "You fucking crazy?" "I can make it there." "Everything is new." "Even I'll be new." "You mean nobody knows you are a fuck-up." "How much?" " 300." "6 T-shirts, 200 each. - 300!" "6 T-shirts, 200 each. - 300!" "8 T-shirts, 250 each." "Then I'll come too." "You won't need to." "Finish school, you can get a real job." "9 T-shirts, 240." "You stop sending money, I stop going. - 9 T-shirts, 220." "Then with the lettering?" "How much?" "300 more, each." "Fuck!" "Stop, you fucker!" "Wait!" "Don't have a cent today." "Not a cent, man." "Ruan, you shit." "I don't need it all!" "I only need a bit today!" "Who's paying for my poster?" "Why do you need cash?" " I'm going abroad, you fucker." "With 5000?" " And it's safe and it's legal." "You seem pretty sure about this." "5000!" "Now!" " Hang on." "Why're you talking like you're in a fucking gangster movie?" "I got only 2,000." "You still owe me 275,000." "You screwing foreigners too?" "Poor bastards!" "Thank you, mother Theresa." "You want your money?" "Then shut up and fuck off!" "Brought the ball?" " You said you'll bring it!" "I brought the camera." "I learnt the rules." "Someone here called Manoj?" "I'm Manoj." "Vijith sent us, you know." "For the 'team'." "Both of you?" "This is my son." "Vijith!" "What's he thinking?" "16 players..." " Yeah, but he's ancient!" "He could be the coach." "Ok, hang around." "Should be able to shape something up." "I'm not playing." "Don't worry, can't even afford a ball here." "And I got them half price." "A bit scratchy no?" "Couldn't you get a different colour?" "It's like the cricket team." "Not baggy enough." " Good for you." "I'm not wearing this." "Shit guys, the police." "Scram!" "Yeah, fuck this." "Haven't had enough for today?" "Are we ready?" " Yes." "Right then, one... two... three!" "Now where do we put the brush?" "What else can you find in the room that belongs to Mama?" "Me!" "Mama!" " Oh, my sweet!" "You're too big!" "I can't take you." "And you have to look after daddy." "Let's find something else, shall we?" "Are you ready?" "One... two... three." "What do we put under 'duration of stay'?" "2 weeks." "2 years." "22 years." "Father's name?" "I don't have one." "Write down Piyal." "He's old enough." "Hey Vijith!" "What's with the old man and the nasty kid you sent us?" "Mother needs surgery." "Purpose of travel." "Idiot!" "Sport!" "Present occu..." "Occupation?" "Put down fool." "Oh yeah?" "Hey Vijith." "How do you spell 'gigolo'?" "All right, all right." "Here's your ticket to the future!" "They respectfully invite us." "That's in Germany." "Will you stay in Germany?" " I want to see France." "Champagne, cognac." "England." "I want to see the Queen." "Sure, she's dying to meet you." "I'm going to Italy." "Italy?" "What happened to the German women?" "Bad idea." "Italian women - monsters." "Beat up their husbands." " I won't go there then." "Who cares?" "It's all the same." "It's all wonderful." "We just need to get there." "You don't have to go." "It's not football." "It's handball." "You're late." "I bet you'll be late for the plane." "And who is he?" " He's my cousin." "How about asking us before bringing anyone else in?" "Did you tell him not to tell anyone?" "Fuck, who's this?" "Don't worry, he's my cousin." "Is that Naseem and Jasmine?" "What are they doing here?" "I didn't say anything." "Another old man." "Don't worry." "Naseem doesn't want to go anywhere." "As long as Jasmine doesn't want to." "Italian chocolates." "From my wife." "Save some for the trip to Germany." "I don't think we're going to Germany." "I think we're going to jail." "No one leaves." "Sir, these are the suspects." "Give me that file." "Good work." "Simple, three steps!" "If the Germans invite you..." "Why the fuck do we need permission from our government?" "Sri Lankan National Handball Team!" "I knew it wouldn't work" "Sorry guys." "Worked out for you." "Didn't lose your poster boys." "Your horse lost again." "Don't know why you bother." "Where is the roof?" "They came and took it away." "The landlords?" " Who else?" "It's cooler now." "You can see the stars." " And the tree." "Wake up!" "What do you do with kidneys?" "You piss." "Come on!" "But you can piss with one, right?" "Stanley, what the fuck are you talking about?" "They're giving me 300,000 for a kidney in there." "What?" "Are you fucking crazy?" "Stop talking crap." "Snap out of it!" " Snap out of it?" "My sister's leaving her family because of me." "My brother is turning into a criminal." "They're taking my house!" "What are we going to do?" "Move in with you?" "What are you going to do when you find my aunties sleeping on your bed?" "So get lost." "What do you know?" "It was my idea!" "They believed in me!" "My brother believed in me!" "You Ruan?" "Who wants to know?" "Then what?" "The guy next door is banging on the wall." "Then the redhead stops kissing me." "Gets up." "And then?" "She pulls out a whip from under the mattress." "A whip?" " A whip?" "Bullshit." "Why a whip?" "What the fuck are you doing here?" "Can be done." "What can be done?" " This is what you need." "Travel permit from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs." "Consent by the Ministry of Sports with a signature and seal of the Minister." "And official approval by the Sri Lanka Olympic Committee, signed by the President" "You told him?" "It's our only chance, Stanley." " What chance?" "Stana, Stana, just think a bit!" "Do you want to go or not?" "He robbed me blind." "He's a crook!" "And now he's in charge?" "And what's with the fucking foreign cattle?" "Actually, yeah, what's with the foreign cattle?" " They are coming." "Coming with us?" " Fuck Manoj!" "I had no idea!" " Look, we didn't discuss this." "Listen sonny, for these letters you take all of us with you." "You're coming too?" " Can't live without you, baby." "And if you want cheap tickets, I need the money by Monday." "But only one way, no?" " Don't be so stupid." "Has to be return." "Stana, so what do we do?" "Too many." "Can't..." "Too many!" "They said 16 players." "Plus doctor, nurse and a manager." "But they don't even look Sri Lankan." "Look will you!" "Those Germans won't know the difference." "Three steps!" "Three steps!" "Look, the rules say three steps." "You, learn to fucking behave, or you're out." "You go back to your country, fucking Tamil." "You son of a bitch." "Why do we need to learn this fucking game?" "All we need is to get into Germany." "Then we split." "He's right." "We don't need to play." "We run as soon as we get there." "We'll never get anywhere if we don't forget that racist shit." "We're all Sri Lankans here, Sinhala, Tamil." "And fucking foreign cattle, ok?" "So she got the whip out, and then?" "Wanted to see if I had a future forging signatures." "He's coming out." "You're home." "Look Nevil, about school." "Open it." "Money for your ticket." "For your plane tomorrow." "Fuck!" "Nevil..." "Where did you?" " Dog racing." "K id knows everything about dogs." "What?" "More?" "No, this is our shopping list." "And mine." "You worked here?" "Sit." "This is for us." "Sit, will you!" "My God!" "Look at these prices!" "Let's see." "I'll order." "Son, don't worry." "I ate something before I came." "No it's not a problem really." "Leaving present from the management." "We'll have the fried rice the chilli chicken and the stir fried veggies." "Now don't eat like pigs ok?" "Ma, really, it's ok." "Can't you just relax?" "I'll see to the drinks." "But we started this together." "I was ashamed of them tonight." "I wanted them to be different." "Look after the others." "I don't want to come back and hate them." "She looks really happy." "Yes, I'm finally what she wanted me to be." "She doesn't know it but I'm leaving her forever." "In a strange way, I have never loved her so much." "Isn't that funny?" "Let's go." "Shouldn't waste Manoj's visa." "You're coming?" "Can't trust you alone out there." "You didn't try to change his mind?" "You know he did the right thing." "Will you stop acting like a fool?" "Put us all in trouble." "You're the one who'll get us into trouble." "You look like someone stuck something up your arse." "You too." "Loosen up, man." "I've had enough of you." "Let go of me." "Look guys, you fight you do it smiling, ok?" "Fuck you." "Hey Ruan." "We're here." "Explore the train station." "We're here." "Where is the train station?" "Which way's Italy?" " I'm going to Japan." "Japan?" " They don't speak English." "I don't either." "Anyone wants to check train times." "5 Euros." "Where did you get that?" "Here's the smart arse." "Said we wouldn't have to play." "If it wasn't for that idiot, I'd be in Paris." "What the fuck do we do now?" " We have to play." "We don't know how to play!" " Lf we don't play, we'll get arrested." "I'm not playing!" "Throw the ball!" "Why did you keep running with the ball?" "You were fouled more than fifty times!" "You were not out there." " But we kept yelling at you." "Did you hear us?" "They killed us." "It was like a cricket score." "It's all bloody Manoj's fault." "He didn't teach us the rules." "We're here because of Manoj, don't forget that." "Guys." "It doesn't really matter." "It's just a stupid game." "No." "I know it's just a stupid game." "I know I'm not a Handball player." "Vijith, do you understand?" "This shirt - it feels so heavy." "For fuck's sake, Stanley, you fruit peddler." "Suresh, who are you?" "A cleaner?" "No, you're not." "Me?" "Who am I?" "I'm not even a crook anymore." "Here, now we are all nobodies." "In these bloody countries we start our lives as nobodies." "Nothing!" "Nothing!" "As good as dead." "See this?" "When we split up, no one will give a rat's fart about you." "But now, if we do it right, and play like a team." "We can start our new lives as somebodies." "They know we can't play." "They'll understand." "We'll be sent back." "These guys don't mind, and they like to win" "First thing we do, we learn to play." "Can't let the Germans maul us again!" "What do you say?" "Three years." "Three years is all I need." "Then my sister can get married." "If only we could have a good life at home." "Is everyone alright at home?" "Ok love, put her on." "Hello baby." "It's daddy." "I can't talk for long." "Say something to daddy." "K id's not used to talking on the phone." "Out of my way." " You're trying to leave?" "Out of my way." " You convinced everyone to stay and you're leaving?" "All that shit about dignity and being somebody - it was just an act?" "All lies?" "Not all of it." "Out of my way!" "Stanley listen." "Suresh is right." "This is not a game." "We're going to get caught." "Every minute we hang on, we risk getting caught." "We didn't come here to play ball, to be a team or to be heroes." "We're illegal, we're on our own." "You leave now, we'll all get caught." "I won't let you go." "You can leave with me." "I want to go home." "Everyone at home's going to read about you in the papers." "You'll be a hero." "Hey, orange man!" "Are you not practising?" "The guys were looking for you." "Better be going, we'll miss practice." "The first grave I ever dug was for my father." "The earth was hard but I dug deep." "I thought it was the only way to hold the body together." "After him I buried my daughters." "I put them in one grave." "I could not tell them apart." "I didn't want to put the wrong names on their graves." "By the time I buried my wife, I had learnt." "Her grave was clean and straight." "And beautiful like she had been." "Where are you going?" "England?" "How about it?" "England?" "England's good." "No fucking Handball."