"The second Lubitsch film at MGM, The Merry Widow, filmed in 1934, was also the second film made at MGM based on the operetta by Franz Lehar." "Erich von Stroheim had made the first version in 1925." "And Curtis Bernhardt filmed the third in 1952 with Lana Turner and Fernando Lamas." "It should be noted that the cinematographer on both the Lubitsch and Stroheim versions was Oliver March." "Originally, it was planned to cast Grace Moore and Maurice Chevalier." "But Moore refused to have second billing to Chevalier." "She was replaced by Jeanette Macdonald, who co-starred with Chevalier in The Love Parade, Love Me Tonight and One Hour with You." "The French version featured Chevalier, Macdonald, Andre Berley, Daniele Parola and Fifi D'Orsay." "Filmed in 13 weeks for more than 100,000 dollars, it is one of Lubitsch's most luxurious films." "It is this French version that we will show tonight." "Long thought lost, one print survives, in the Royal Cinematheque of Belgium." "This film is dedicated to Franz Lehar and his beautiful melodies." "THE MERRY WIDOW" "CAST" "KINGDOM OF MARSHOVIA" "MARSHOVIA" "Oh our country will Never make war" "We've a reason that's Worth marching for" "Not for battle our Banner unfurls," "But for girls, girls, Girls, girls, girls!" "When we're marching We never retreat" "For we're charging A foe that is sweet" "But we're caught in the Swirl of the enemy's curls" "And surrender to girls, girls, girls!" "Danilo!" "Danilo!" "Oh our country will Never make war" "We've a reason that's Worth marching for" "Not for battle our Banner unfurls," "But for girls, girls, Girls, girls, girls!" "When we're marching We never retreat" "For we're charging A foe that is sweet" "But we're caught in the Swirl of the enemy's curls" "And we always surrender to Love!" "You can continue." "Thank you, Madam." "Madam!" "Pardon Madam for trespassing on your estate and intruding on your privacy." "What do you want?" "I come to deliver a confidential letter." "It's very important." ""Madam Missia Palmieri:" ""If you should ever meet Count Danilo," ""Beware of him." "He is extremely...oh-oh!"" "Count Danilo?" ""Oh-oh"?" "Oh-oh?" "That's what people say!" "Danilo?" "Danilo?" "Yes, Count Danilo!" "Now Madam, this is absolutely between you and me:" "This Count Danilo is crazy to meet you." "He tried everything..." "In fact, he is desperate." "I really feel sorry for the man." "But you're such a widow..." "Pardon me, Madam!" "What I mean is, you live in complete seclusion." "And the poor man has no chance to meet you socially." "Well I'm very sorry." "I never heard of the gentleman, and I'm not interested." "Do you think so, Madam?" "The man is in such a state, there's no telling what he may do!" "But who is this Count Danilo?" "Me." "Who wrote this letter?" "Me." "I don't understand." "What do you want?" "An answer!" "Yes or..." "When?" "It's hard to believe that an officer of the Royal Guard..." "Dares to approach the richest, most powerful woman in the country!" "And behaves like a silly young cadet!" " It's an outrage!" "It's hard to believe." " I am..." " Injust!" "That's what you are." "Put yourself in my position." "Imagine you saying all those lovely things to me... and me wearing a mask!" "Wouldn't you spend sleepless nights wondering what I look like?" "Well, my situation is much worse." "I haven't slept for a month!" "Then I think it would be wise to leave immediately and go to bed." "And dream about you?" "No, no!" "Day after day I've watched you when you ride your carriage in the street." "I come here every night!" " I guess I'll have to call my servants!" " They're all bribed!" "Worse than that!" "Do you know I've been feeding your dogs sausage from Constantinople?" "Just to see what?" "Your lovely little hands, your dainty little feet, and yet the most beautiful thing..." " Stop it!" "Tell me..." "Your eyes." "Are they blue or brown?" "Are you pretty?" "Or beautiful?" "Gorgeous." " Oh, this isn't funny!" "I have been in many situations, but this is too much!" "There's not a window in Marshovia I haven't jumped out of." "But here I'm blocked." "And by what?" "By a piece of flimsy material." "Lift the veil between us." "Be nice." "My dear Count, I'm very sorry to be the cause of all your suffering..." "Oh, but..." "Unfortunately we are in Marshovia, and I am a widow." "Why don't you throw away this old custom of ours?" " And take off my veil?" " Yes!" "I'd do it in a minute if there were any reason for it..." "Or the slightest temptation." "But there isn't." "Maybe you can't see me very well." "Yes I can." "In fact too well." "I'll admit you're very funny, but..." "Not "oh-oh"." "Not even "hey-hey"!" "Madam..." "I regret to inform you..." "That our romance is over!" "Don't count on me further." "I tried to bring a little romance into your life, but... you weren't interested." "All right!" "Forget me, if you can!" "Go back to your solitude." "And bid yourself goodnight." "And please..." "Don't include me in your dreams!" "All right?" "Fine." "Goodnight!" "Well, I'm a free man again!" "Come, Mischka." "No more salami!" "The night is romantic And I am alone" "In vain through my window the moonlight is thrown" "Oh Vilia my Vilia!" "Oh Yes, that's the tune," "The song of the shepherd Who cried for the moon." "Vilia, oh Vilia, Oh let me be true" "My little life is A love song to you." "Vilia, oh Vilia, I've waited so long" "Lonely with only a song." "Vilia oh Vilia, Don't leave me alone!" "Love calls to love And my heart is your own" "Vilia oh Vilia, I've waited so long" "Lonely with only a song." "Lonely with only a song!" " Goodnight." " Goodnight, Madam." "Oh just a minute..." "before I forget." "Melissa..." "Yes, Madam?" "Will you ask the secretary to find out the address of a certain... of a certain..." "Count Danilo?" " Count Danilo lives on Queens Avenue!" " Number 25!" " Second floor!" " Apartment B!" "Thank you." "Never mind." "Goodnight, Madam." "Goodnight, Madam!" "Thursday May 14, 1885" "My Diary" "July 2 I am a widow." "July 3 Nothing interesting..." "July 4 Nothing..." "My heart is heavy, My heart is tired" "Vainly, day after day," "I wait for love." "But suddenly..." "I understand my hope..." "Is only a hope." "I was chasing a dream." "He enchanted me, Then he was gone." "But I believe that it's better To suffer from Love" "Than to suffer from hoping..." "Forevermore." "May 15 I've forgotten him." "May 16 I'm still forgetting him..." "While I wait, He's forgetting me" "It was only a crazy dream." "So I turn the page" "Of my pretty book of Love" "Erasing all memories" "Of such happiness." "May 17 I'm fed up with Marshovia." "Madam Manushka!" "My new dress!" " Yes, Madam!" "Get everything ready." "We're going to Paris tomorrow." "Tomorrow morning." "As soon as possible." "There's a limit to every widow!" "I want to be a bird That you set free" "I want to laugh!" "I want to live!" "Goodbye pain, Goodbye sadness, Goodbye Marsovia!" "What joy to know How beautiful life can be!" "I want to be courted, To be swept away..." "To be dazzled, Told such nonsense" "For I want to Be in love!" "This is the melody of Paris!" "Maximillian III of Marshovia" "The King was more interested in his nurse than in his ladies in waiting." "It was His Excellency General Achmed that governed Marshovia." "Who is it?" "Your suspenders, Your Excellency." "Any news, Your Excellency?" "What news do you want?" "Things are terrible." "What do you hear?" "I overheard two sweepers in the street yesterday..." "Really?" "What did they say?" "Tell me, it's important!" "The opinion of the sweeper in the street, that's what you need!" "What are they saying?" "They say when the richest woman gets fed up with the country and leaves..." " So they're blaming me." " For everything!" "They're even telling jokes about Your Excellency." "Are they funny?" " Not at all." "That's bad." "If conditions don't improve, the sweepers are going to organize." "That too?" "Which ones?" "Those that sweep the boulevards or the side-streets?" "The Left Bank." " Intellectuals, then?" "Let them talk." "Are you staying out late tonight, darling?" "You ought to know how it is with these cabinet meetings!" "Do you think it will last all night?" "It's bad enough to have a widow in Paris to worry about, without having my wife in bed nagging me!" "Would you know the approximate time... for example, within a quarter of an hour... that you'll be coming back?" "Watch it, or I'll put you back where I found you!" "If you like, I can always go back to the circus." "It's all the same to me!" "Working the Death Trapeze and carrying men in my teeth!" "Always going on about your widow!" "Not a widow." "THE widow!" "The richest widow in the world." " In Europe!" "Anyhow, she owns more than half of Marshovia." "Do you realize she owns 52% of every cow in the country?" "But you're all mine, aren't you darling?" "Listen, stupid..." "Read this telegram from our ambassador in Paris." ""Widow sensation in Paris." "Fortune hunters arriving daily..." "Marriage in the air." "Unless Marshovia acts quickly, the national fortune goes into foreign hands." "I know what to do, but am too old to do it." "Signed, Popoff." "I know what to do, but am too old to do it, Signed Popoff...?" "Darling, how late do you think you'll be tonight?" "Let me drum this into your head:" "You and I are living on her taxes!" "If she doesn't return, if she takes her money out of the country, the national bank will close!" "The country goes bankrupt!" "Not even France would loan us money!" "Achmed, something must be done!" "Something will be done!" "And tonight." "The cabinet figures that we'll have to meet foreign competition." "Therefore, we're sending a special envoy." "A real man, who's not too old and can act quickly..." "But knows what to do!" "Of course!" "The man must be charming, irresistible..." "So she falls in love with him?" "And he brings her back to Marshovia." "Who are you going to send?" "We're considering Count Gabrielovitch." "Impossible." "Who else have you got?" "There's Sinkovitch, Neirgosch and Montolovsky..." ""Correct"." "That's all you can say." "You'll have to do better than that!" "That's what I say!" "But the Prime Minister..." "He depends too much on his wife's judgment." "I say no politics at a time like this." "Let the best man win." "That's what the meeting's for:" "I'm expecting a real fight." "Darling, do you think it will take you all night?" "After all, nobody made me choose you!" "Goodnight, my love." "Please, I beg of you!" "Control yourself!" "No scandal!" "Your Excellency, I did my best to be discreet!" "Walls have ears!" "You think the servants heard anything?" "Oh, my reputation!" "Your Excellency, may I make a suggestion?" "Make it!" "Let's fool them!" "Let's make a little conversation." "Let's pretend to be friendly." "Right!" "A little more volume, Your Excellency." "Isn't this fun?" "Good, good!" "Ssh!" "That's enough." "Let's not overdo it." "That settles the servant problem!" "Now let's keep this a secret between you, you, and me." "Not a soul must know!" "And certainly not the history books." "No one, I swear!" "We were planning on not even telling Your Excellency!" "Isn't that right?" "That's the spirit!" " Now listen you..." " Careful, Achmed!" "A firing squad's too good for you." "Tonight you'll be taken to the mountains." "First your tongue will be cut out." "Ssh..." "I'd like to say, General..." "Yes, General." "I'll attend to you later!" " Yes, General." "I'll find a special punishment to make an example of you!" "If you please, General..." "Take your time." "Patience is the soldier's virtue." "No, no Dolores, that's not right!" "You know well enough I have to go down in history as Achmed the Great!" "How do you cooperate?" "Falling in love with a Captain of the Guard!" "Thanks to you I'll be known as Achmed the Little." "You're wrong, my darling!" "I didn't fall in love, I was defending myself." "And splendidly!" "You came back too early." "You didn't give me a chance." "If you'd returned an hour later, you'd have found him where he belonged." "On the other side of the door." "How does he compare with Gabrielovitch?" "There's no comparison!" "Put Gabrielovitch and Sinkovitch together, and what have you got?" "Gabrielovitch and Sinkovitch!" "But Danilo?" "How to say..." "How can I explain it in the language of the court..." "You can't explain it in the language of the court." " Exactly." " I understand all the same." "Dolores..." " Yes, Achmed?" "With my brains and your contacts, Marshovia can't miss!" "Afraid of me?" "Ever been to Paris?" "I spend all my holidays there, General." "So you know Paris?" "Would you like some addresses?" "No, no..." "I'm a married man." "Are you married?" "No, General." " You don't know what you're missing!" " Don't I?" "No you don't!" "Your Excellency, may I make a suggestion?" "Please." "Let's drop the subject." " Fine." "Now listen, my boy..." "You will leave tomorrow for Paris." " Oh thank you, General!" "On a secret mission that's very delicate." "It's very important for our foreign relations." "How is your French?" "Terrific!" "As good as my Russian, my English and my Marshovian!" "Speak English!" "Her Ladyship is the most marvelous woman I ever saw," "I'm telling you, she's just gorgeous!" "Not bad!" "What does it mean?" "I was just saying something about Your Excellency's wife." " Was it nice?" " Very." " Isn't she interesting?" " Completely!" " You will leave immediately." " Yes, General." "As soon as you arrive in Paris, you will report to the Marshovian Embassy." "Our ambassador, Baron Popoff, will tell you the next move." "Your Excellency, whatever my mission may be, even if it costs me my life," "I'll never forget the look on your face when you walked in that room!" "Did I frighten you?" "Get going..." " Goodbye, my boy!" " Goodbye, Your Excellency!" "Hello, Paris!" "Figures That Drive The World Mad" "Hotel Bellevue Gasight, Baths in Basement All Modern Conveniences" "What's new?" "I overheard two girls on the streetcar." "They talked about you." "Oh really?" "What did they say?" "They were telling stories about you." "Were they funny?" "Very." "Two others asked for your address." "We'll have to move!" "I'm going to Maxim's..." "But aren't you going to report to the Embassy, sir?" "Tomorrow morning." "I'm going to Maxim's..." "But Captain!" "I'm going to Maxim's For I am in the swim" "With bankers on the prowl And such charming girls!" "Manon!" "Lison!" "Ninon!" "Franchon!" "Suson!" "Toinon!" "With every one of them, It's love forevermore!" "I want to be a bird That you set free" "I want to laugh, I want to live" "Goodbye pain, Goodbye sadness, Goodbye Marsovia" "What joy to know How beautiful life can be!" "Gentlemen!" " Madam?" "I'll be ready in a few moments." "Madam!" "I want to be courted, To be swept away..." "To be dazzled, Told such nonsense" "For I want to Be in love!" "Gentlemen!" " Madam?" "What are your plans for this evening?" "First we'll go to the Cafe de Paris!" " To the opera!" " There are some seats left!" "Then we'll have supper at the Cafe Anglais!" "Where all of Paris goes!" "Then we'll dance, if Madam is willing." "How mad, how wild, how thrilling!" "I'm going to Maxim's For I am in the swim" "With bankers on the prowl And such charming girls!" "Close the window." "Why don't you..." "I go back to Maxim's Where it's so intime" "More amusing than The Comedie Francaise" "Manon!" "Lison!" "Ninon!" "Wake up, young man!" "To Maxim's!" "Don't spare the horses!" "I want calissons!" "Where is he going?" "What did he say?" "He's going to Maxim's!" "He gives it such raves!" "A place where you can" "Find girls that smoke!" "Ninon!" "Lison!" "Manon!" "Or any name will do." "To please men We have to be like dolls!" "Manon!" "Lison!" "Ninon!" "Franchon!" "Suson!" "Toinon!" "With every one of them, It's love forevermore!" " Danilo!" " Lou-Lou!" "Count Danilo!" "Lou-Lou!" "Excuse me!" "Did you say something?" " No..." " So much the better!" "You looking for trouble?" " No!" " Good!" "And if I am looking for trouble?" "Shut up!" "Perhaps you're looking for trouble!" "Oh, go to bed!" "You're getting on my nerves!" "Pig!" "Old idiot!" "What are you doing!" "I'll make you sorry!" "Is she your fiancee?" "My seconds will call on you, sir!" "Very well, sir!" "Frankly, I wouldn't bother." "And now..." "Who is that old goat?" "It's the ambassador from..." "You understand?" "This whole thing is a government secret of the highest importance..." "Yes, Your Excellency." "Tomorrow night the embassy is giving a big reception in her honor." " Is she still wearing her veil?" " No!" "Is she beautiful?" "She owns 52% of Marshovia." "So she is beautiful!" "If you like her or not, you love her!" "This is cold-blooded patriotism." "Have you ever had diplomatic relations with a woman?" "These are the plans for tomorrow night." "Before you arrive, she must have a very dull time so that you can shine by contrast." "Therefore, for the first half hour, I will entertain her personally." "After listening to me for 15 minutes, she will be completely bored." "After five minutes dancing with me, she won't be able to take anymore." "The widow will need fresh air." "Exit to garden." "And now...now she gets the big thrill:" "I leave her." "She's alone in the garden." "It'll be a moonlit night." "I'll see to that." "And the next thing, you come over the garden wall." "What do you think?" "Do you want my honest opinion?" "Please!" "I couldn't do that, Your Excellency." "It would annoy her!" "I'm not sure about this vault over the wall!" "Try this then." "You arrive in a car." "You get out." "You go to the door." "You ring the bell." "The butler greets you at the door." "You give him your saber." "You will wait in the anteroom." "And then, I introduce you to the widow." "What do you think of that?" "Machiavellian!" " Thank you!" "Good evening!" "Until tomorrow night!" "Danilo!" "Da...ni..." "lo!" " Good evening, sir!" " Good evening!" "Danilo!" "Danilo!" " Danilo!" " Take heed or I'll kill you!" "I don't like him!" "I once had a wonderful harem." "What happened?" "I invited him..." "He broke up my happy home!" "27 times." "Girls, girls!" "It's good to see you again!" "Mimi, Fifi, Kiki, Frou-Frou..." "Do you still have that wonderful red sofa?" " With all the cushions!" " Will you test the springs with me?" "Good!" "Jou-Jou, Dodo, Mitzi!" " I gained five pounds!" " Then I'll help you take them off!" "Margot!" "Margot with her cute dimples!" "How is your landlady?" "Does it still take her so long to answer the door?" "And Duchess!" "Are your garters still blue?" "Baby blue!" "And you..." "Do you still cry when you fall in love?" "Did you miss me, girls?" " YES!" "And I missed you." "All of you!" "Mimi, Gigi, Fifi, Kiki, Frou-Frou..." "It's great to be in love!" "Girls!" "Don't stand in the entrance!" "Go over to Table 15 and order lots of champagne!" "Any Americans here tonight?" "I don't know." "Are you new here?" "Rather." "Look!" "Danilo's here!" "Let's remember how To quickly say hello!" "Drink some champagne And you're in love!" "Let me dance in A great round whirl" "Of girls, girls, Girls, girls, girls!" "Every time you make love It's so sweet" "That it's mad not To play the fool!" "When you do something wrong It turns out right" "When it goes bad It doesn't matter" "So it's all good!" "Marcelle!" "Always "oh-oh"?" "Remember last year?" "I sure do..." "Pretty, isn't it?" "He gave it to me!" "HAPPY PENTECOST" "Not bad!" "Who is she?" "She's new here." "What's your name, honey?" "Fifi!" "Hello, Fifi!" "Who is he?" "Don't you know me?" "No." "She doesn't know me!" "You don't know him?" "No." "It's Danilo!" "Danilo?" "Danilo?" "Wait a minute..." "Aren't you the man who gave me this bracelet?" "Listen, if I were to give you a bracelet, you'd remember it!" "And besides, he doesn't give any bracelets." "Shall we sit down?" "There's not much going on here tonight." "No Americans." "You're a foreigner, aren't you?" " Yes, but..." "I adapt easily!" "Are you a banker?" "No." "Too bad." "I was just in the mood for a banker!" "You understand, don't you?" " Sure, sure." "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings..." "It's all right!" "Not bad!" "Come on." "Sit down!" "Waiter!" "Yes, Madam?" "Lots of champagne!" " Yes, Madam!" "You're the most impertinent Fifi I've ever met!" "But a nice Fifi!" "Really nice?" "Not too nice!" "Your right eye says yes and your left eye says no." "Fifi!" "You're cockeyed!" "You're right!" "For example, at this moment..." "I'm looking at someone else..." "Remove your hand." "You're charming!" "Fascinating!" "Exc..." "Stop kicking me!" "Stop pinching me." "That's better." "Now you're acting like a gentleman." "Give me back my shoe!" "Girls don't sit at my table and flirt with other men!" "Understand?" "I'm not your slave." "After all, this is 1885!" " Enough!" "To Constantinople!" "Number 7!" " Shall we go?" " Where?" "To a private room upstairs?" "Oh no." "I never go upstairs." "I don't want to play the great lady, but..." "Could I put this on?" "Or would you give me pleasure of removing the other one?" "Put it on." "Please." "And now, Fifi..." "If you're still in the mood for a banker..." "The door isn't locked." "What's the matter now?" "He was a great man." "His only mistake was he attacked too early." "That's how he lost Waterloo." "Oh come on." "This is absolutely demoralizing!" "First a Turk, and now it's Napoleon." "Well, I give you Napoleon!" "You can have him all night." "And see if you can get his hand off the second button!" " Anything wrong?" " No, she's impossible!" "I take her upstairs, and just when I'm about to be nice to her..." "She stops to talk about another man!" "Aren't you ashamed?" "Listen to me, you!" "I'll have you boycotted." "Think you can disgust the clientele..." "With your honest woman's tricks?" "That girl has no heart and no sense!" "Come on." "Would you like to dance?" "No." "This exquisite moment has conquered me all at once," "You carry me away." "So what if you are lying?" "For I sense suddenly" "Nothing exists anymore But us two." "Danilo?" "Yes, Fifi?" "Do you love me?" "Of course I do." "Why not?" "You don't understand." "I mean..." "Do you love me?" "Forever!" "Even in the morning!" "And after tomorrow morning?" "What a question!" "No one's ever asked you that?" "Not at Maxim's!" "The little women of Maxim's are very wise, is that it?" "Naturally!" " The others, you understand..." " What do you mean?" "Honest women?" " Yes." "It's not very pleasant." "It's so difficult to get free." "They're annoying." "They're always thinking about tomorrow!" "And the questions they ask!" ""Do you love me?" And then you have to lie, you see?" ""Yes!" "Certainly!" "Naturally!"" "And the best of all..." ""Do you really love me?" It's..." "Now that I know who you aren't, I'd like to know who you are." "An honest woman asking stupid questions." "And who forces you to lie." "And there you are, trapped!" "Do you still want me to stay?" "I won't let you leave!" "And what if I annoy you tomorrow?" "You'd be in a bind." "To get rid of me?" " Darling..." " Is that all you've got to say?" " No, but..." " Your answer is clear." "Come now, Fifi..." "Fifi?" "That's what you want!" "All the women in the world, at your disposal!" "All Fifis..." "You, the great seducer..." "You don't even know what love is." "Why must you spoil the evening?" "I'm spoiling the evening?" "You were entertained, weren't you?" "Good." "Go amuse yourself." "Ladies..." "The gentleman wants to amuse himself." "Here they are!" "All your little nocturnal friends!" "Who never think about tomorrow." "Goodnight, my dear." "You're right." "The tricks of honest women aren't for us." "I promise to be more reasonable." "Goodbye, Maxim's!" "Where everything is false!" "Where you laugh and you dance And you never have to think" "I give you to Manon, Who never says no!" "But you are fourth-rate." "Your hearts are made of cardboard!" "THE EMBASSY BALL" "A rich man will insist His wife have wit" "And if the poor things Should be rich things" "We're always witty enough!" "We are very pleasing, But there are those" "Who aren't at all, For merry widows" "Are simple people Just as always they were." " Where is Captain Danilo?" " He..." "Don't lie to me!" "Where is he?" " He left." " He left?" " He left." " How long ago?" "Yesterday." "He left yesterday." "You mean he hasn't come back since last night?" "Yes..." "I mean, no sir." "Oh!" "Oh!" "It's stupefying!" "What am I going to do with her?" "Please don't kill us!" "Forgive us, sir." "I'm sure she's not to blame." " Who?" " Your wife, sir." " Who do you think I am?" " You're the husband, aren't you?" "I'm the Marshovian ambassador!" "Then I must tell the truth." " What is it?" " Captain Danilo left last night and he hasn't come back." "What will I do?" "What will I do?" "If you don't mind, sir, I still say, forgive her!" "She loves you." " I'm not married!" "I'm not looking for my wife." "I'm looking for Captain Danilo!" "Where is he?" "Your Excellency, you may think I'm stubborn..." "But he left last night and he hasn't come back." "You find him!" "You go to every nightclub, every cafe, every..." "Here are some addresses." "If Captain Danilo doesn't appear immediately at the Embassy, he'll be court-martialed!" " Yes, Your Excellency!" "And don't you dare lose those addresses!" "Captain!" "Captain!" "It's me!" "Mischka!" "Mischka!" "Your uniform!" "Your uniform!" "Put it on, Captain!" "The Embassy!" "The Embassy!" "Court-martial, Captain!" "Nice Captain..." "Nice Captain..." "He won't let me put on his uniform!" "No!" "No!" "Forward, march!" "Halt!" "No, no, no!" "I'm not going to make love to that widow!" "Can you imagine ordering someone to make love?" "Don't you understand?" "That's the army!" "I've never heard such a thing, and I've been with the army all my life!" "Do you have to marry her, Danilo?" " It's a secret!" "If I don't bring her back to Marshovia..." "Marshovia will go bankrupt!" "That's a secret too, and I'm not going to tell you." "He'll be court-martialed if he doesn't go!" "Fifi..." "Where are you, Fifi..." "If she really loves you, she'll come back." "But she's a lady!" "I once knew a lady who came back twice!" "All right!" "All right..." "I'm not going!" "He's going to be shot!" "Please get him to the Embassy!" "No, I won't!" "I won't..." "Maxim's!" "That's where Fifi is." "I'm going to Maxim's and nothing can stop me!" "I'm going to Maxim's..." " Any news?" " No, Your Excellency!" "Is this him?" "No no no!" "I gave you a precise description!" "I will not make love to this widow." "Have another cup!" "I'm completely sober!" "Have another cup!" "I already have full possession of my faculties!" " Good!" " And I don't want to make love to your widow!" "What has happened?" " I love another woman!" " Who?" " I don't know!" " Drink your coffee!" "I am a soldier." "I am an officer." "My duty puts me on the path of Honor and Glory." "I'm ready to die in it doesn't matter what battle!" "But I won't have another cup of coffee!" "By order of His Excellency, General Achmed!" "Commander in Chief of the Army!" "High Admiral of the Navy..." "Drink that cup of coffee!" "And now, stay here." "You will face the widow." "And now Madam, we come to the parlor" "Where for the first time," "General Achmed uttered the historic words to his consort, "I love you"." "Please, Madam." "What a surprise!" "Dear Captain Danilo!" "What an extraordinary surprise that you've come!" "What a coincidence!" "I thought he was in Marshovia!" "Captain Danilo..." "Madam Palmieri, I'd like to present my best friend, Captain Danilo!" "Delighted, Madam." "Really?" "Better than that, Madam." "Happy." "This is the most marvelous thing that has ever happened to me." "Madam, could I ask you a favor?" "Would you like me to lift my veil, Captain?" "No, Madam!" "I no longer climb over walls." "Since when?" "Since yesterday." "I love a woman." "Really." "But she's disappeared." "And you, Madam..." "You alone could help me find her." "Her name is Fifi." "Fifi no longer exists." "You killed her." "After you left her last night, she came home and killed herself." "She jumped into a cold bath." "And Captain you'd be surprised what cold water can do." "Zizipoff!" "Another telegram for General Achmed." ""Disregard last telegram." "Coffee served with good results." "Introduction accomplished." "Currently observing." "Developments too new to make conclusions." "Both currently engaged in conversation" "On the terrace in coded language."" "I love you, Missia." "So I noticed last night." "Don't torture me." "I'm crazy about you." "Everyone is." "I've been told at least 100 times tonight." "And everyone wants to marry me." "I'm certain there's something extraordinary about me." "What is with all these men?" "Is it my beauty..." "Or my charm..." "Or do you suppose it's my position?" " You mean your fortune?" " Yes." "I don't know about the others." "But me...it's strictly for your money." "And nothing else." " I believe you." " I know you believe me!" "That's why I said it." "If you'd only told me who you were last night." "If only I'd known I held in my arms the richest widow in the world..." "But why were you at Maxim's?" "Oh, I see." "Just a rich woman looking for a thrill." "Farewell, Captain!" "I want to be a bird That you set free" "I want to be courted, To be swept away..." "For I want to Be in love" "This is the melody of Paris!" "A telegram for the General!" ""Spent a moment in the bushes." "Tired but content." "The Captain went into the garden, and I saw the whole thing." "Wind was unfavorable." "Couldn't hear a thing." "However, the moon shining above allowed me to see him operate." "Victory, victory, victory!"" "Take out a "victory"." "A telegram from the General." "It's in code!" " Zizipoff!" " I'm right here!" "The first word is "darling"." "What does it mean?" "A..." "B..." "C..." "D..." ""Darling"!" ""You must be the biggest idiot in diplomatic service"." "What's the next word, Your Excellency?" ""Lilac"." ""Lilac"!" "Adamovitch!" "Your Excellency?" "Go get Captain Danilo!" "Yes, Your Excellency." "Read it again." "Slowly." ""You must be the biggest idiot in diplomatic service." "A diplomat who doesn't know what's going on under his own nose deserves to be axed with all speed." ""Lilac"?" "Danilo told the Maxim girls." "The Maxim girls told all of Paris." "The French Ambassador received word by telegram." "The French Ambassador told his wife's chambermaid, and told her to not tell his wife." "The chambermaid told the Ambassador's butler." "The butler told the Ambassador's wife." "The Ambassador's wife told Sinkovitch." "Sinkovitch told Mrs. Gabrielovitch." "Mrs. Gabrielovitch made up with Mr. Gabrielovitch." "Gabrielovitch told Dolores." "She didn't know he was married so they had a fight." "STOP." "Achmed as usual walked in too soon." "All has been confessed." "If the widow finds out about the marriage, all is lost." "In consequence, we must act quickly..." "Captain Danilo!" "Where is he?" "Where is he?" "In the garden with the widow." "I think he's made her angry." " What did he do?" " He talked." " Bad!" " What did they talk about?" " About cooking." "Cooking...cooking..." ""We must act quickly." "Be brilliant." "Stifle the rumors." "Undo everything." "Give explanations." "Work quickly." "Find a loophole." "Do something and do it quick!" "Understand?"" "End of telegram." "So you still prefer the girls at Maxim's?" "It's you that I love." "And only you." "Do you believe me?" "Danilo!" "I'll give you everything you want." "You'll answer all my stupid questions?" "Yes." "Even when you talk about tomorrow." "And all the tomorrows after tomorrow." "I love you." "Do you believe me?" "I believe you." "Because I so much want to." "Ladies and gentlemen!" "I have the honor to announce the impending marriage of the charming Marsovian Madame Missia Palmieri to Count Danilo, Captain of the Royal Guard!" "They are announcing their engagement tonight!" "It's a love match!" "How did he know?" "I thought we were the only ones." " Darling..." " Captain Danilo?" "His Excellency would like to see you immediately!" "Thank you." "Missia..." "Yes, Danilo?" "Will you wait here for me?" "Naturally." "Your Excellency, how could you do such a thing?" "How!" "Do you know who you're speaking to?" "The biggest imbecile!" "Have you seen the telegram?" "What telegram?" "This one." "Read it." "Is there a advantage to residing at Maxim's?" "All of Paris knows!" "All the papers are eating it up!" "If she finds out, what a position it'll put the government in!" "There would be talk of conspiracy, she'd call off the wedding, and leave Marshovia." "And then what would we do?" "You must get married, as soon as possible." ""We must ask immediately, be brilliant..."" ""We must ask immediately." "Be brilliant." "Stifle the rumors." "Undo everything." "Give explanations." "Do something, and do it immediately."" "Understand?" "Your Excellency, Ambassador of Marshovia..." "Shut up!" "Missia, you're crying!" "It's because I'm happy." "Why shouldn't I be happy?" " Missia..." " Yes, Danilo?" "There's...there's something." "Something I must tell you." "One moment." "If you please." "You love me, don't you?" " Yes!" "Deeply." "I know." "All the girls at Maxim's heard you." "Everyone, all of Paris!" "Everyone knows that you love me!" "And everyone knows why." "Well, Captain." "Go on." "I'm waiting!" "I love hearing you lie!" "You really have nothing more to say?" "Nothing, Madam." "Nothing that you could believe." "Then..." "Farewell, Captain." "Ladies and Gentlemen." "There's been a misunderstanding." "The announcement of the engagment of Madame Palmieri... was made without her knowledge or her consent." "Madam Missia Palmieri has never thought of marrying me." "Too bad!" "Madam..." "I can offer no explanation." "I know." "It's all over." "There's only one thing I'd like to say before leaving." "I love you." "Fifi." "What do you want me to do?" "Throw myself in your arms?" "Marshovia chose the right man for the job!" "You're brilliant, Captain!" "Too brilliant!" "I'm sorry Captain, but I'm ordered by His Excellency to arrest you." "You will return to Marshovia immediately." "Well gentlemen..." "Shall we dance?" "I want to be the Bird that you set free" "I want to laugh!" "I want to live!" "In Paris where Deceit is the rule" "And if he doesn't love you, It doesn't really matter!" "I want to be in love" "This is the melody of Paris!" "I want to be in love" "This is the melody of Paris!" "The news today!" "Captain Danilo on trial!" "Widow takes money out of country!" "General denies heartburn!" "General denies heartburn!" "Yes, sir!" "Yes, sir!" "General denies heartburn!" " Keep the change!" " Thank you, sir." "What will become of us?" "If the widow doesn't change her mind, it will end badly." "Dolores, Dolores..." "It sounds like revolution!" "No, Your Excellency." "The cannon announced the opening of the trial." "Thank you, Gabrielovitch." "In the name of His Majesty, I hereby open the trial of the State of Marshovia versus Captain Danilo!" "Would you be good enough to remove the livestock from the courtroom?" "Bring in the prisoner!" "TO DANILO FROM DOLORES" "Bring in the witnesses and exhibits." "In the name of the State I accuse Captain Danilo of High Treason!" "Failing in Duty!" "The State is going to prove that this man not only is but always was a menace to Marshovia!" "With no respect for the sanctity of the home, not even stopping at garden walls!" "Exhibit Two, if you please." "Now Generals of the Jury, I will prove with this exhibit..." "Your Honor, I object!" "I object to having this witness called an exhibit!" " She's an exhibit!" " He's a witness!" " She is not!" " He is!" "Objection sustained." "From now on the Prosecution will refer to Exhibit #2 as Witness #1." "Your Honor, when I read the charges against Count Danilo," "I realized this case concerned me so I came here from Paris." "May I be permitted to testify?" "The Court appreciates your patriotism, Madam." "And thanks you." "Please, Madam." "Madam, will you tell the Generals of the Jury in your own charming way everything you know about this case?" "As I understand it, you are charging the Defendant with neglecting his duty," "and being a traitor to his country." "Your Honor... you are accusing an innocent man!" "He did everything in his power to serve Marshovia and betray me!" "Don't put him in jail!" "To the contrary!" "Give him a medal!" "A monument!" "Set him up as an example!" "A Marshovian patriot!" "Who stopped at nothing." "He did do his duty." "He used every strategm!" "He lied, he deceived me, he played with emotions, even love!" "He was willing to break a woman's heart... just as he was instructed." "Your Honor, may I be permitted to cross-examine the witness?" "Granted." "The witness is yours." " So I lied to you!" " Yes." " I was playing a game!" " Nothing else!" "When I was dancing with you, I was thinking only of your millions!" "And when you took me in your arms..." " I was following instructions?" " Yes!" "And when I kissed you?" "That was the biggest lie of all." "That's all I wanted to know." "I'm guilty!" "I'm guilty of treason, failing in duty, everything you want!" "But most of all, I'm guilty of being a fool!" "Once in my life, I lost both my heart and my head." "Therefore I should be condemned." "Without mercy!" "Let my fate be a warning to every man!" "Any man who can have any woman he wants, and he's crazy enough to fall in love with one, deserves to be shot!" " The widow!" " What about the widow?" "Something must have happened to the widow!" "What, what, what?" "She wants to go to jail to visit Captain Danilo!" " I bet..." " We don't have time to bet!" "Duchovski!" "Rostikoff!" " Yes, Your Excellency?" " My horse!" " Yes, Your Excellency!" "Are you friends with Captain Danilo?" "Not exactly." " A relative?" " No." "But you knew him before, didn't you?" "Yes." "You wouldn't recognize him now!" "He's a changed man." "Did you hear the story about the warden's daughter?" "No!" "Last night, the warden's daughter brought his supper personally into his cell." " And what happened?" "Nothing." "I tell you, he's a changed man!" "Here we are." "Why, he isn't here!" "It looks that way." "Don't worry about it." "He always comes back." "Just make yourself at home." "Danilo!" "He's not here." "When do you expect him back?" "I don't know!" "Tell him there's a big party going on in the women's ward." "There'll be lots of red wine and laughs!" "I'm sorry." "I was chased by a mouse!" "A mouse?" "From your estate, all the way here to the prison?" "That's not a mouse." "That's a rabbit!" " You don't think I came here..." " To see me?" "No." "Yes, I came here to see you." "And to deliver one message:" "Tonight there's a party going on in the women's ward!" "There will be red wine and lots of laughs!" "Your Excellency, not even Napoleon could have thought of this!" "Thank you." "The plan can't fail!" "They can't get out!" "Let's put ourselves in their place..." "We had a quarrel and now we're locked in." "At first we don't talk at all." "Then I tell you what I think of you." "Then you tell me what you think of me." "Oh no, Your Excellency, no." "I wouldn't dare." "That's right." "Anyhow, we're in the cell!" "We can't quarrel all night." "As time passes, I begin to realize that after all, you are a woman!" "And above all..." " I begin to realize you're a man." "Right!" "And still more, you're a gorgeous woman!" "And as for me..." " You're wonderful, Your Excellency!" "Thank you." "That's Marshovia!" "Prisoners go to parties and innocent people can't get out!" " You're not so innocent!" " What?" " You did the whole thing." " Did what?" "You bribed the jailer to lock you in here with me." "I have to apologize." "You didn't bribe the jailer." " It's a conspiracy!" " Against both of us." "They want us to fall into each other's arms!" "We're trapped!" "Oh, this is terrible!" "What are we going to do?" "Now darling..." "I beg your pardon." "Let's calm down." "Let's keep cool." "I have it." "Let's fool them!" "Let's not fall into each other's arms!" "That should be easy." " Very." "Why should two people who hate each other..." " Fall into each other's arms?" " Right!" " Let's not fall for it." " We won't!" "Let's drink to that." "May our hearts remain as cold as this champagne." "Could be a bit cooler." "No, please." "Any man who can have any woman he wants..." "And he's crazy enough to fall in love with one..." "Should be...married!" "Captain Danilo, do you take for your wife..." "Certainly." "Of course!" "Subtitles by ironhills for KG January 2011"