"What is wrong with rich people?" "Why would you blow good money pretending to be poor?" "It doesn't make any sense." "But you got to give props to rutherford" "For finding new wedding themes in this economy." "She probably charged six figures" "For a $600 white-trash wedding at a country club." "But I'm willing to overlook the social commentary" "Because these kobe beef slim jim sliders" "Are good eatin'." "Rach." "Rach." "Yeah." "Hey, what's her story?" "oh, Violet?" "She is Rutherford's top florist." "And a nympho." "Really?" "She just got out of rehab for sex addiction." "Good to know." "it is good." "That's good to know." "I'm messing with you guys." "Violet is as wholesome as they come." "She just got out of rehab for surgery." "You two, stay away from the vendors." "I'm serious." "She's just standing right there." "I wouldn't touch her." "How come she never warns me?" "I'm single, too." "Vanessa:" "Wow, this is filled with glutes." "Does this pulled-pork sandwich logluten-free?" "Huh?" "Honey, honey, she just may not know" "What the word "gluten" means." "Don't they have gluten-free in Mexico?" "I'm from Spain." "You need to take this back to la cocina, pronto." "Whoa." "Oh, ooh." "Please." "Vanessa, is everything okay?" "Everything's fine." "We just had a little accident." "These corn dogs are delicious!" "Oh, good." "hi." "I'm Bobby Brotman." "Roxie." "Well, well, well." "Roxie Rutherford." "Are you on the bride's side or the groom's side?" "Both." "I planned the event." "Oh, well, trashy was always her strong suit." "I take it you two know each other." "Yes, Roxie and I went to high school together." "Oh." "Hard to believe we're the same age, isn't it?" "Aww, thanks, Vanessa." "Well, as much as I love" "This brief trip down memory lane," "Could you grab us another box of wine?" "Sure." "Thank you." "Bobby:" "Thank you." "Nice meeting you." "She pushed the plate on me..." "How is it possible to be raised on etiquette" "But have no manners?" "Money can't buy you class." "That's for sure." "No, no, Tommy." "Just stop, all right?" "This will be entertaining." "Ladies and gentlemen," "Can I have your attention, please?" "It's time for a white-trash wedding tradition." "Now, I'm sure you've all heard of "the running of the bulls."" "Anyone?" "Everyone?" "Well, we have a backwoods version of that" "Called the "running of the pigs."" "Honey, I read about this." "You read about this?" "Fantastic." "Then you know that the first person" "To get in there, grab a pig," "And deliver it to the bride ..." "where is she?" "Bride:" "Here!" "There she is ..." "Year of good luck." "Vanessa." "Vanessa." "Vanessa." "Year of good luck." "You ready to do it?" "Totally!" "Let's do it." "Baby, let's do it." "Baby, come on." "I think I'm gonna sit this one out." "Sure, you are." "Now, Vanessa, you're gonna get a little muddy," "So you might want to strip it down a little bit." "Everyone, how about a round of applause" "For Vanessa's table, huh?" "Whoo!" "You jump in there, and you get your pig!" "whoo!" "Yeah!" "Tommy?" "Tommy?" "Hmm?" "What?" "We need to talk." "Can we talk in the morning?" "I-I-I listen better in the morning." "No, no." "I want to know where relationship is going." "What?" "I thought you said that you didn't even" "Really speak english." "Women can have this conversation in any language." "All right." "Mm-hmm." "Do it." "Lay it on me." "My last boyfriend, he had problem with commitment." "Mm." "My boyfriend before him commitment problem." "My friend lucia, she say because I..." "Blah, blah, blah, tommy." "Blah, blah, blah, amazing sex." "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," "Or maybe it's my father issues." "Do you agree?" "Tommy, what are you thinking?" "She asked me what I was thinking." "Stevie:" "After sex?" "I know." "After sex." "What was she thinking?" "That explains the "blah, blah, blahs."" "I don't want to be this way." "I mean, I want to be able to listen." "I just can't." "I don't know." "I need to learn how to edit." "Well, good luck." "Women speak 20,000 words a day." "Men speak only 7,000," "And that gap's up 29% since '09." "Somewhere between 7,000 and 20,000," "I just completely glaze over." "I can't help it." "Yeah, but you've always had RDD, man." "Stevie:" "RDD?" "Relationship Deficit Disorder." "You know, I admit, I get it sometimes, too," "But you just got to learn to work with it." "The key to listening, gentlemen ... it's in the eyes." "You just got to ..." "got to lock in." "I like to throw in a, "oh, that sucks, honey," every once in a while," "So it feels more, you know, like a dialogue." "That's a good one." "Yeah." "So, I have to work late tonight." "Oh, that sucks, honey." "But, um, if you're around later..." "I would not miss it for the world." "Okay." "Stevie:" "Gentlemen, violet." "Hey." "Nice to meet you." "Violet." "Hey." "Tommy." "Hi." "Eddie." "Hey." "What is that?" "That is, like, the weakest handshake I have ever had." "I never know what kind of handshake to give a woman." "Normal." "Yeah, but, you know, you come in too hard, you can hurt the fingers." "Come in too soft, like now," "You make a fool of yourself." "All right." "Later?" "Yeah, um..." "All right." "Later." "Okay." "Bye." "Dude, she's got quite the grip." "You don't know the half." "You guys hook up?" "Better." "I got a handy." "Oh." "You got what?" "Dude, that's very "Sadie Hawkins" of her." "A handy is like the throwback jersey of sex moves." "Good for you." "Technically, it's not sex" "If I can do it myself." "So, technically, that would mean" "You are still a virgin, barry." "Listen, this was not your typical," "Like, happy ending." "This was a happy beginning, a happy middle ..." "Must have lasted two hours." "Two hours?" "Best sex I ever had." "Eddie:" "Really?" "Hand down." "Roxie:" "Come on in, and we'll, uh ... we'll just have a little meeting here." "What are they doing here?" "Barry, go." "This can't be good." "No, just go in first, barry." "Mother of the bride," "You remember Vanessa and Bobby Brotman." "Hey, guys." "Guys, I got to tell you, I, um ..." "I really loved, loved, loved the running of the pigs." "I'm still cleaning mud out of places" "Bobby didn't even know existed." "Well, I know they're there, honey." "She knows I know." "Wives." "Vanessa wants to hire you" "For an event that she's throwing." "I'm putting on a prom." "Uh, adult "prom."" "Oh, so it's like a reunion." "Not exactly." "It's sort of an opportunity to redo ..." "Relive the highlight of your high-school experience," "But instead of former classmates..." "The guests would be..." "Friends that you have today." "I mean, adult proms have all the hallmarks of normal proms ..." "The awkward portraits," "The color-coordinated tuxes and dresses," "The boutonnieres and corsages," "And the limo and hotel-suite after-parties." "I'm sure all of you have your own prom experiences" "That you can bring to the table." "I don't." "I missed mine 'cause I had mono." "It sucked." "Yeah, I didn't actually go." "Tommy was sleeping with our french teacher, Miss Moreau." "I didn't want her to get in trouble." "Kelly Borgman dumped me the night before," "And I lost my dignity and the deposit." "We don't have proms in canada." "So, none of you have been to prom." "Um hey, right here." "This guy went to prom." "This guy is making up stories." "He went to rival high-school proms." "Yeah, there's no real proof." "There's no photographs." "Nobody actually saw it." "There is." "There is one photograph." "It's a fuzzy photo." "It is very fuzzy." "Stevie:" "Was it, like, the Loch Ness prom date?" "What, did Nessie have, like, a long neck or something?" "Listen, her name's Beth, okay?" "Yeah, she had a long neck, but she's real." "She's as real as the bermuda triangle." "Okay, so, so, so, there is one more thing," "Which is, um, that proms are all about "couples," you know, so ..." "And all the best songs are duets," "So you're gonna need to hire a female singer." "Yeah, they can ..." "they can do that." "And everything will build up" "To the most important moment of the night ..." "The crowning of the prom queen." "Funny story, at fillmore high..." "Oh, let's not dust off those old memories." "...I was the prom queen, and roxie was runner-up." "Remember?" "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Mm, so you guys went to the same school." "Oh." "We were on prom committee together." "She was my junior planner." "Well, actually, co-chair, but that's all right." "Titles don't matter." "And here we are, just like before," "You working for me again." "Yeah." "It's wonderful." "It's gonna be really fun." "Hey, I like your wedding band." "Oh, yeah, they're pretty great." "No, no, no." "Wedding band." "Is that pressed platinum?" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, what's yours?" "Uh, Vanessa liked classic gold." "Hey, um, one request for the big duet." "Could you play "time of my life"?" "The "dirty dancing" song?" "Look, I know Vanessa can come off a little type "a,"" "But she's dreamt of doing that dance her whole life." "It'd make her night." "You want to go full Swayze." "I'm working on something." "You know you can't go half Swayze." "There's no such thing as half swayze." "He only goes all the way." "That's right." "Bobby." "Uh, keep the Swayze thing on the down low." "We'll be in touch." "Okay, talk to you soon, Vanessa." "Okay, so that's why you didn't sanction us" "For the running of the pigs?" "Huh?" "You and ..." "you and Vanessa are rivals?" "But she is a client," "And as much as I loathe Vanessa, I am a professional," "And I consider this a test of my professionalism." "I think we should give her the adult prom she deserves." "No problem." "Good, good." "Actually, I am serious." "I mean, there's no double meaning to my words." "This is not a case of me saying one thing and meaning another." "Actually, when I say that I want to give her" "The adult prom that she deserves..." "No, it's no problem." "...I intend to give her ..." "It's no problem." "Thank you." "Stevie:" "Hey." "Thanks for coming to the audition." "Whenever you're ready." "Next." "Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-yeah." "Thank you." "Next." "thank you." "That was really great." "You went high, and then you went real low." "Thank you so much." "That was horrible." "Horrible." "Every bad note was like a parasite" "Boring through my brain." "if I have to hear adele one more time," "I'm gonna pluck out my ears with my drumsticks." "Don't even say "adele." kristin:" "Hey." "Are you guys still auditioning singers?" "No." "Yep." "All right, so, uh, let's do "blah, blah, blah" by ke$ha." "We'll lose the intro." "We'll pick it up at the top of the first verse," "And go around one time for the chorus hook." "Does that work?" "Mm-hmm." "You guys know the song?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Let's do this." "Two, three, four." "That was, uh..." "Yeah, that was..." "Get in." "Get out." "That was, like, the best part of the song." "That's actually my day job rubbing off." "I, uh, select the song snippets for itunes." "Whoa, you're the snippeter?" "Yeah." "I thought that was just a legend." "Would you mind if we talked amongst ourselves?" "All right." "Kristin." "Kristin." "Yeah, I'll be fine." "I'll just, uh, break some balls." "Yeah, go break ..." "go break balls." "I never realized how good that song is." "It's really good." "Okay, well, uh, I would say" "That I think we have a clear winner." "Yeah, I think we need to keep looking." "Agreed." "Agreed." "What for?" "She's definitely the one." "Are you insane?" "Wait a minute." "Is this ..." "is this about her name?" "That was in high school." "Eddie, that was 10th grade." "Wait." "What am I missing?" "Every guy's got one girl's name" "That's his kryptonite." "He ends up losing all his powers, his edge." "Kristins are Tommy's kryptonite." "Kristin is your "kristinite"?" "And not the good kind, either." "Like orange kryptonite ..." "that gives powers to animals." "You guys are idiots." "Duets are about onstage chemistry, and that's what" "The two of us have." "That's what she and I have." "We have onstage chemistry, Eddie." "All right." "As long as that chemistry doesn't come offstage," "You're good to go." "Hi." "I mean, seriously." "What would I possibly do offstage with that?" "Oh, you will absolutely love our florist." "Violet." "Roxie, this proposal is all wrong, wrong, wrong." "I'm so sorry." "I'll be right back." "I'm considering pulling the plug." "No need to press "panic."" "We will do whatever it takes to make it perfect." "This event is very close to my heart." "I mean, after all, putting on our prom" "Inspired me to become seattle's top event planner." "Three years running." "Hmm." "Oh, I see, yes." "Rachel took down your notes incorrectly." "No, I'm pretty sure..." "Uh, it was me." "So, tell me, how are we not seeing eye to eye?" "These part themes seem so post-9/11." "I want authentic '90s prom." "I see grunge meets hip-hop ..." "Baggy pants, flannel shirts, tuxes with sneakers." "Taffeta dresses, pixie haircuts." "Okay, so exactly our prom all over again." "Yes, it was a success, wasn't it?" "I mean, I remember that night," "Everyone was coming up to me, congratulating me," "Telling me what a fab job I did." "I remember that, too." "Say no more, Vanessa." "We will do it..." "Your way." "Thank you, Roxie." "I expect nothing less." "Freak." "What sets it apart from any other event?" "Everyone has one thing from high school" "That they'd love to redo, right?" "Yeah, and we're gonna give them a set list that makes it possible." "What about that ..." "that one couple?" "The "too much pda" couple?" "the ones who can't keep their tongues off each other." "Yeah, but now they have kids, you know?" "Maybe there's not as much pda." "We got to give them a song" "That really gets them groping again." ""never say never." romeo void." "See?" ""I might like you better if we slept together."" "Nice call, snippeter." "Now, don't forget the critical clique, right?" "The ones that say they're not going to the party," "Then show up anyway just to say how lame it was." "Oh, yeah, so we have to blow their minds" "With something really obscure." "Screaming trees, green river ..." "We could do a whole eco theme." "Yeah, how about the shy guy, you know," "Who takes too long to ask the girl to dance," "And when he finally does, the song's over?" "Sounds autobiographical." "I mean, like, we still talking about Nessie?" "Wait." "Who's Nessie?" "Barry's imaginary prom date." "you know what?" "You guys are" "Just jealous 'cause none of you went to prom." "Sorry, I still don't believe Nessie exists." "I kind of, you know..." "Her name is Beth," "And you will rue the day that you ever doubted me." "Barry, come back." "I'm ruing already." "I mean it." "I'm sorry." "Come back, barry." "Barry, we're just joking." "My goodness." "All right, jerkwad, I need a name In a minute." "this is Ingrid." "Ingrid." "Yeah, it's Barry." "You got a sec?" "I got a perp who's not talking any time soon." "So, yeah." "What's up?" "All right, don't tell eddie," "But I need you to track down a girl." "This is protocol, but I got to ask you," "Am I looking at a stalker situation, here?" "No." "She was my prom date." "You went to prom?" "Yeah, I went to pr..." "why does everybody ..." "Look, listen, her name was b..." "I got to go." "He's gonna talk." "She'll rue it." "They'll all rue it." "So, we do salt-n-pepa into the chili peppers," "We do the final duet," "They crown the king and queen, and we're out." "I think our job here is done." "Right on." "It's getting late." "I got plans." "The florist with the kung-fu grip?" "See ya." "Hey, so, uh, you want to grab a bite?" "Uh, look, I know where you're going with this." "I don't think it's a very good idea." "Dude, I, uh, have a boyfriend." "I actually just wanted to grab a bite." "Okay." "I think we can all agree..." "So, I love basketball and all, but, uh, let's be real." "Charles and Shaq don't really get warmed up" "Until the playoffs." "Hey, good call on these hot wings, too, by the way." "I didn't know that you could order just the drumsticks." "That's really smart." "Isn't that what life should be, though?" "Like, getting to the best part of everything..." "Mm-hmm." "...As quickly as possible?" "Man: ..." "Walk for the magic." "The highlights coming up." "Quick." "Let's fool around during the commercial break." "I don't want to miss any of the highlights." "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "You said ..." "I'm sorry." "You said that you had a boyfriend." "That was just to save time." "You would've spent a week saying that we shouldn't do it," "But then we'd do it anyway," "So I said I had a boyfriend" "To edit out a whole week of back-and-forth." "Okay." "Mm-hmm, yes, you did." "My goodness." "Okay." "I'm coming." "I'm coming." "Oh, oh, okay." "Sorry if I'm moving too fast." "No, no, no, no." "Um, I have a scar." "Okay." "Nothing to feel self-conscious about." "I, uh, just want you to feel comfortable." "Is it like a c-section?" "No." "Oh, okay." "Uh... stomach staple?" "No!" "'cause you might have been chubby." "No, but thank you." "Um, it's this." "Yeah, is it under your bra, like a bypass?" "No." "I had my elbow reconstructed." "Oh, wow." "Ouch." "What happened?" "I blew it out moving some potted hedges at an event." "The doctors said it was gonna take 18 months to rehab, and I was back on the job in seven." "Pshew." "look at you!" "Feels stronger than ever." "Well it does" "Feel stronger than ever." "Mm." "You know..." "Do you ..." "Oh." "I know what you want." "If you don't mind." "Announcer: "inside the NBA."" "Man: ..." "For the highlights of Dwight Howard..." "Perfect timing." "What?" "Are you serious?" "Stevie:" "You seem exhausted." "I am." "Gtwo handys last night." "Wait." "You haven't even had..." "S-e-x?" "What for?" "What's the point?" "Do I have to explain this to you, or..." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "There's a woman who's better at this than I am?" "I must learn from her." "For starters, velocity." "Really?" "Yeah." "'cause I find after 30," "Women lose a little bit off the fastball, you know?" "Ingrid:" "I heard that" "Because a woman's hearing gets better after 30." "It's gonna suck." "It already does suck." "Come here." "Okay." "Maybe the secret is in her surgery." "She had her elbow reconstructed." "Oh, she had tommy john?" "Kerry wood's had that." "It added like 5 miles per hour to his fastball." "Hey, you should find out who the doctor is" "And send a muffin basket or something 'cause it's serious." "Yeah, you know what you should do?" "Get a radar gun so you can clock it." "I'm not gonna clock a handy." "Well, I could hide in your closet and clock it for you." "Eddie:" "Wait, wait." "Doesn't tommy john surgery" "Take like 18 months to rehab, though?" "It is." "It's 18 months." "It is, but it only took her seven." "Ooh." "You got to have her rest that arm, man." "You got to limit the pitch count." "That's not good." "She can't ... she can't be throwing fastballs off the mound that early." "I mean, it's 18 months." "But I mean ..." "it's a big deal." "There you go." "Busted." "Hah." "All right, listen." "Kristin and the onstage chemistry ..." "Please tell me it's not coming backstage." "It's offstage." "And, yeah, we're hanging out." "Okay, but you've, like, moved on." "She's giving you the blah, blah, blahs." "No, there's no blah, blah, blahs." "Really?" "Yeah." "No, none at all." "The snippeting thing ..." "that's not just at work." "That is a lifestyle choice of hers," "And it's pretty fantastic." "So you're not worried she's gonna "out you" you." "Nobody can "out me" me, Edward." "Are you guys good?" "You got all this handled?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Cool." "This is bad." "Who?" "Stone roses." "We should, uh ..." "we should go see them." "I don't know." "Seems kind of far off, don't you think?" "first time eddie and I heard them," "We got into that whole, like, "manchester/madchester" thing." "We had the mop cuts, and very" "Blah, blah-blah-blah-blah, blah, blah," "Boddington's, blah-blah-blah-blah," "Happy mondays, blah-blah-blah." "Hey." "What are you thinking?" "Beer ..." "I think I need a beer." "Kristinite." "Roxie:" "So, on this wall," "We will have banners with the scandals of the '90s ..." "Buttafuoco, the O.J. Trial, Tonya Harding," "Prince changing his name." "Yeah, and then, right over here," "We will have the centerpiece of the '90s prom," "Which is two ice sculptures connected by a vodka sluice." "Rachel:" "Bartenders are gonna send shots" "Cascading through frozen Bill Clinton's body" "All the way into icy Monica Lewinsky's mouth." "That's awesome." "Everyone will love that." "No, no." "No vodka." "Okay, so just beer and wine." "Sure." "Authenticity, Roxie." "High-school proms don't have alcohol." "Why would we?" "Uh, just 'cause they're adults," "And, you know, adults like to drink when they party." "Bobby:" "Mm-hmm, exactly." "A couple glasses of pinot grige" "Might loosen things up," "You know, get our friends dancing." "Yes." "Maybe?" "No." "No, no." "This is my night to remember, and I want it dry, dry, dry!" "It's like Roxie says ..." "The client is always right." "Yeah, that ... that ... that is ..." "that is objectively true," "But in this case, you're just ... you're just ..." "You're ... you're ..." "you're wrong, wrong, wrong." "Unbelievable." "You know, this is just the kind of insubordination" "That made me demote you on our prom committee." "Oh, please." "I saved our prom, and you know it." "Roxie Rutherford ..." "Once a runner-up, always a runner-up." "That election was fixed," "And, well, you know that actually because you fixed it, so... 20 years later, and you haven't changed a bit ..." "Still bitter betty." "Still throwing ..." "aww ... half-ass parties." "20 years later and you're still making people feel bad." "I guess life is like high school." "Bobby-boobey." "Hmm." "I think Rachel gets me better." "What do you think?" "Oh, honey, I-I think" "That we're all just trying to make this prom" "As fun and as memorable as can be." "Okay." "Okay, from this moment on, Rachel, you're in charge." "You're on point." "Roxie..." "You will report to Rachel." "Maybe you can work the door like last time." "come on." "Really?" "Yes, really." "Now it's exactly like our prom." "Boobey, get my bag." "Bobby-boobey getting bag." "James Brown thing you're doing." "Yeah." "Hey, what's going on?" "Where's kristin?" "You know kristin." "I'm sure she'll show up at the perfect time," "Make everything that much better." "Just tell us you're not falling for thsnippeter." "I'm rdd, eddie." "It's not even possible." "Uh, yeah, but this is kristinite we're talking about." "Yeah." "We just don't want you to lose your edge, you know." "Come on, I..." "Might have lost it a little bit." "Define "little."" "Oh, like, I mean, you know," "May-maybe I asked her what she, you know, was thinking?" "kristinite." "Total kristinite." "Yeah, pocket full of kristinite." "I'm sorry, okay?" "I'm sorry." "No, it's not okay." "You ... you realize what you have to do now, right?" "Barry." "Go out on top." "Go out on top." "Always leave them wanting more." "I know." "I get it." "You got to snip it in the bud before it gets any worse." "The moment prom is over, you got to break up with her." "Okay, all right." "It's gonna be fine." "Really?" "With this, barry?" "That's necessary?" "You're going down." "Barry, what are you doing in here?" "Oh, I was just playing good cop, bad ..." "Do you have a second?" "Oh, your prom date ..." "that's right." "Okay, look, I'm gonna need some information." "Okay." "Name." "Beth buttons." "Description." "She's as beautiful as a 1973 ludwig octo-plus kit" "With the paiste-giant beat cymbals." "That was really sweet." "All right, what was she last seen wearing?" "Emerald-green prom dress, carnation corsage," "And a rachel haircut." "She hated phoebe." "And hated phoebe." "Barry." "Yeah?" "I'm gonna find her." "Thanks, ingrid." "And, hey, can we keep this between you and me..." "And whoever's on the other side of the one-way mirror?" "Oh, detectives ramirez and cruz?" "'sup." "Ladies and gentlemen, you may have noticed" "That this bus has come to a stop, but don't worry." "It doesn't mean that this tour is over." "No, it just means we've come to our next destination." "Ahead on your right," "We have come to the estate of rapper nacho picasso," "And I say we get off this bus, right?" "We get off this bus." "We take some pictures." "We ring doorbells." "We, uh ... we bother him" "Because that's what we're here to do, so..." "Hello." "How are you?" "So, uh, let's all get off the bus." "I'll meet you down there in about five minutes." "Thank you." "what's happening?" "This was a very informative tour." "Thank you." "I had no idea who mother love bone was." "Yeah." "I'm guessing that you are not here for my tour." "This might sound a little farfetched, tommy, but ..." "Man:" "Just one photo." "I'm actually here because I'm worried about roxie." "Hi." "Nice one." "Just smile for one." "Oh." "Thank you." "She and vanessa got in a huge fight," "And vanessa kicked her off the prom committee." "Oh, there's always so much drama around the prom." "This is not roxie's fault." "Vanessa wanted a dry prom," "And roxie tried to talk her out of it," "And there's this whole original prom-queen election scandal ..." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "Vanessa wants a dry prom." "Yeah, not a drop of liquor in the house." "Well, that's a stupid idea." "And she's got roxie working the door." "So, who's running this fiasco?" "I am." "This guy." "Okay, all right." "I think she's gonna have a "carrie" moment at the prom." "I think she's gonna lose her cool." "I need you to talk to her." "Oh!" "Oh, god." "Okay, that's good." "Oh, yes, I just want to feel it a little deeper." "If we could do this about 50 more times." "Just at least 50 more crunches." "Tommy." "Tommy." "Working late?" "Tommy, this is marco, my trainer." "This a normal arrangement?" "Oh, yeah, well, marco's on retainer." "You know, just so I can work out some stress sometimes." "Actually, I'm feeling a lot better." "If you wouldn't mind just giving us a sec" "And making me a smoothie." "Uh-huh." "Mm-hmm." "That'd be great." "what are you doing here?" "Well, you, uh, seem kind of wound-up over vanessa," "Like you're, uh, making the prom personal." "No." "No, it's just a silly, silly little prom, you know." "I mean, who needs it?" "I don't need it." "You know what?" "If you're not going, I'm not going." "The band ..." "not playing." "I'm gonna go break up with the hottest girl I've ever dated in my whole life." "I'll see you at the next gig." "Good, good." "See you." "Wait." "I'm a professional." "All right, so, um..." "So, tell me." "Tell you what?" "You know, tell me." "Let's give vanessa the adult prom" "She so richly deserves." "Got it." "So, we're still looking for colin and kimberly, okay?" "Thank you." "Nice chain mail." "Nice shoulder poufs." "Bitch." "Bag of bitches." "One, two, three, four." "Great prom, vanessa." "Everyone's having such a great time." "Do I look like I'm having a good time?" "I don't know." "Your expression stays so consistent." "You promised me a night to remember." "None of this is '90s enough." "Do not let me down like roxie rutherford." "Believe or not, she's grown up a little." "Bobby:" "Hey, guys." "Hold up." "Hey, great set out there." "Oh, tight, tight grooves." "Good." "You having fun?" "Oh, man, am I. But vanessa isn't." "Really?" "Couldn't tell." "It's usually a bad sign" "When she starts to throw food at the caterers." "You're still gonna go full swayze, right?" "I don't know, man." "Maybe tonight's not the night." "All those lies about staying late at the office" "So I could take dance lessons with vidal." "What a waste of time and money." "Well, maybe this prom just needs a little liquid courage." "I'd like to introduce you to a couple friends of mine ..." "Jim, jack, and johnnie." "Tonight, we're going high school." "We're gonna spike the punch." "What do you say?" "I think we're about to super-swayze this prom." "Done." "Barry, grab them." "Make sure and vote." ""v" is for vanessa." "Excuse me, linda?" "Can I ask you a question about this voting system?" "Because it's really confusing." "Now, the plus one are the people who voted already..." "Plus one means that they've already voted?" "Vanessa:" "This is the guest list." "This is the voting." "Guest list, voting." "So, they're totally different." "See?" "Glad I asked." "Bobby." "Time to pig out on pastries." "Pastries, not punch ..." "pastries." "I thought you had said "punch."" "Happy prom." "These pastries are terrible." "But I'm the florist." "Well, then, put a flower on it." "Stevie:" "Violet." "You all right?" "That promzilla bitch has me all stressed out." "You want me to go talk to her?" "No, no, no, no." "What I really need is to blow off some steam." "Really?" "I think I can help you with that." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Snip." "Violet:" "Here, let me take off my elbow brace." "Nnothing's holding me back." "Stevie:" "Slow down." "Look, you didn't even stretch first." "Oh, no, I don't need to." "I am ready." "I am..." "Oh!" "Ow!" "I blew out my elbow again!" "Oh, god." "Rachel, where's roxie?" "Everyone's buzzed." "Somebody spiked the punch." "Well, that's authentic." "Let's not lose focus." "Okay, it's almost time for my coronation." "The most important moment of the night." "Do you have my crown?" "Crown..." "Uh, tommy, we got to talk." "Whoa, no, no, no, no, no." "Really?" "You want to talk now, huh?" "You want to talk right now on the stage?" "Fine, let's do it." "Look, I know this is gonna be hard for you." "Honestly, I expected a little more" "Than the "this is gonna be hard for you" routine." "Well, what were you gonna go with?" "The whole "it's not you, it's me" thing?" "I don't know." "Maybe ... maybe, uh, "you helped me grow a lot."" "That would've been a nice one, I think." "All right, well, yeah." "That way we both feel good about it." "Whatever." "Let's do it on three, all right?" "All right." "One, two, three." "Both:" "I don't think we should see each other anymore." "Done." "Always go out on top." "So, listen, I don't want this duet" "To be awkward or anything, all right?" "Oh, no, it won't 'cause I'm out." "Always leave them wanting more, right?" "What do you mean, you're ..." "Wait, wait, wait." "No." "No, no, no." "Kristin." "We have "time of my life."" "Tommy, where's ... where's she going?" "Um..." "Uh, we just broke up." "Nobody breaks up during prom." "Well, apparently..." "What about bobby?" "We promised him the duet." "Who's gonna sing "time of my life"?" "I can do the jennifer warnes part." "I know it by heart." "No, barry, you're not doing the jennifer part." "I got an idea." "Hold on." "Just give me a second." "This is great." "Okay, okay." "We're in." ""time of my life" ..." "you're doing it." "And now we're gonna do something really special for you." "This was supposed to be my moment," "And roxie's stealing the spotlight." "I requested this song for you." "Bobby, I know you don't like to dance." "Vanessa, don't make me say the "baby in the corner" line." "Oh, yeah." "We're in this already, huh?" "Okay." "Uh, ladies and gentlemen," "The votes have been counted," "And the winner is Vanessa brotman." "Whoo!" "You've always been my queen." "All:" "Aww." "You're my king, bobby." "Might want to burn that." "Or frame it." "It's up to you." "Just making dreams come true." "One prom at a time." "Tommy:" "so, what happened, man?" "Look, I'll explain it like this." "Game 7, bottom of the 9th," "Bases loaded, count's full," "And she blows out her elbow..." "Ah." "...Again." "Man, that's got to hurt." "She's on her way to the hospital right now." "She blows it out two times?" "I feel bad." "Don't feel so bad, man." "She's gonna bounce back." "Let's be real." "Nobody bounces back from two tommy john surgeries." "Darren dreifort." "He did." "Jose rijo had five." "I mean, I'd hate to be that dude when it rains." "You know, in these situations," "I find it's best to not get your hopes up." "You mean like" "Expecting your imaginary prom date to show up, nessie?" "yeah, you ... you guys got me." "She wasn't tall and blonde and beautiful with a long neck." "No, she was short and ugly." "And you know what?" "She didn't exist at all." "I just kind of made her up" "Just to sound cool in front of you guys." "Ingrid, what's up?" "What are you doing here?" "Is everything all right?" "I just wanted to see you guys dressed up like the bosstones." "Hi." "Hi." "And help out barry." "Well, too little, too late." "Oh, really?" "'cause I found her." "Beth:" "Barry?" "Beth." "Nessie." "Wait a minute." "The loch ness promster is real?" "Yeah." "You..." "You look amazing." "You want to come inside for a drink or..." "I'd rather make up for lost time." "Okay." "Oh, yeah." "You want..." "So barry is the only person" "That's getting laid on prom night?" "No." "No." "Not if this one plays his cards right." "No, she really does have a long neck." "I've the perfect song to set the mood." "It's from our prom." "Barry, what's wrong?" "Um, I just ..." "I just can't be with anybody" "Who likes that crappy song." "You're leaving?" "A man has to have his principles."