"Ummm!" "..." "That's good." "One unidentified fried object straight from the Mother ship." "Actually, I ordered the Cosmic Club." "You don't want to eat that." "This is good, trust me." "Well, uh, thanks." "I got your back." "Excuse me, miss." "Yeees?" " This sorta tastes ... funny." "What's wrong with it?" "Ooops, that's my soda." "Which has got a little bit of vodka in it." "Now relax girl, I ain't gonna charge you extra or nothing." "Don't go getting your panties in a wad." "You're pushing it, sweetheart." "Mondo, what do you want from me?" "You know what I want." "You're gonna have to work a lot harder for that one." "I'M!" "Gonna have to work harder?" "I'm going on a break." "Oh, no." "It's happening again." "What planet are you from?" "Australia." "What do you mean, it's happening again." "Well, last time I was in a strange place like this" "was because I had been abducted." "By whom?" "Aliens." "Bar Karma 1x09 "Three Times A Lady"" "Subtitles by josmndsn" "♪ o-o-o, yeah," "♪ aaaaah,oooooooo," "♪ Yo-o-u-u will always" "♪ reap what" "♪ you sow." "So, were you .... um, uh, ..." " Probed?" "Why is that the first question everyone asks me?" "No." "And, I think they implanted ... something inside me." "What?" "Where I come from stuff like that happens all the time." "Do you mind if I, um,..." "No, whatever." "Thank you." "Uuh, ..." " Are you buying this?" "Stranger things have happened." "I've lived many lives and they haven't all been on Earth." "Did the aliens implant her with obsessive compulsive disorder, too?" "Just watch, we might learn something." "I'm thirsty." "Um, um, ... aah, hooo, hooo!" "Here we go." "Uum, ... who are you?" "I'm Doug." "Doug?" "And, who are you?" "I'm Kelly." "You want to play a game?" "Uh, sure, why not?" "How about, uh, bocce?" "No, not bocce." "But, I like where your heads at, Doug." "My game does involve some ... balls." "Doug!" "Isn't it time for you to ..." " Investigate." "Yes." "Investigate." "Jealous much?" "No, she's right." "I should go." "I'll be back." "Ooh." "You're late." "Go clean up." "Yeah, let me get that for you." " AAAH!" "Sorry, ... sorry." "First day." "Huh, this busing thing's not as easy as it looks." "First the crazy waitress, now the clueless busboy." "Now, I knew I should have sat in Linda's section." "Whatever happened to Vincent?" "Now, he was a busboy you could count on." "Come on, Mondo, where'd you find this guy?" "Jeez, you're worse than Kelly?" "I'll have to fire both of you." "Wait, you're going to fire her?" "I have to, she's killing me." "Then, why did you hire her?" "I didn't." "I hired Margo." "Kelly keeps filling in." "Look, it's not like I want to fire her." "But, I've tried to help her for years." "Even offered to pay for her therapy." "I can't force her." "Then, again, I can't keep her around like this either." "Therapy for what?" "Kelly is a interesting case." "Not the word I would use." "I thought she was from the future or the past." "So, where is she from?" "Roswell." "So, you believe she was abducted by aliens just because she lives in Roswell?" "No, I believe it because something changed in her timeline." "Not sure if is was ..." "aliens." "But, maybe, ..." "Where is that Doug?" "I liked her better, before." "So, Kelly, what do you do in Roswell?" "I work in a diner serving weird locals and weirder tourists." "It sucks." "Oh, you stink of onion rings." "I l-o-v-e onion rings." "Um, ... I'm going to go freshen up." "For you." "Margo has dissociative personality disorder." "Who's Margo?" " She is." "Kelly is an alternate personality." "Her boss told me." "She thinks it's an alien implant." "And, so does James." " Well, her boss needs Margo, not Kelly or she's fired." "So, ... how are we going to bring Margo back?" "Oh, look at us." "Kelly ... you know, you're about to lose your job at the diner, right?" "Well, good." "I was gonna quit that stupid job, anyway." "What are you doin'?" "Oh, nothing, I'm just bored." "Can't have this mess, can we?" "Margo?" "Margo, you're supposed to be back at work, at the diner." "You're boss threatened to fire you." "No." "I can't loose that job." "That's all I've got." "I don't think Kelly feels the same way." "Who's Kelly?" "You don't know her?" "I'm sorry," "I have black outs." "I don't have any idea what's going on." "The aliens are controlling my brain." "That's why we're here, to help you." "Well, right now, she needs to help herself." "Come on." "Margo?" "I'm sorry, Mondo." " Just get to work, Mags," "I've got some burgers that need some love." "Thanks for bringing her back." "Now, go scrape off the grease fryer." "... another stalemate." "What are you doing?" "Thinking about the past." "Thinking about Caleb." "Is he coming?" "Can't let our guard down." "Do you think Margo is on his side?" "No, but her case has got me thinking about past lives." "Is that what this is?" "What's the real difference between a psychological disorder and a woman with extraterrestial implants." "A lot." " Maybe, all our thoughts, even our disfunctions and disorders have a cosmic significance." "So, medicine is magic?" "... isn't it?" "The only thing better than one smile is three!" "Three smiles." "All for me?" "Uh, huh." " What's wrong with Margo?" "It's worse than I thought." "Meet Luna." "Some whipped cream." "Luna?" " Luna." "She is ..." "out of this world." "Wow, she needs a nametag." "Well, actually, three nametags." "It's on me." "Now, be a good busboy and go take care of the mess." "There!" "That's a happy burger." "Thank you." "Looks delicious." "Luna, can you come with me?" "Uh, huh." "Bye-bye." "Excuse Me!" "My tuna sandwich has marshmallows in it." "I know, isn't it awesome!" "Sorry about the sandwich." "Sorry!" "Well, how about my refund, huh!" "I don't think I can do ..." " Here, see." "You like it?" " I don't like anythings that's going on, right now." " Yeah, well." "You!" "You're a meanie!" "I knew it when I saw ..." "Marshmallows ... are not ... a subtitute ... for mayonnaise." "Margo, look, if you're in there, you got one chance ..." "Don't worry, I'll get it when I get back." "Uh, ha!" "I feel like the father of triplets." "It's clear how each personality works." "Margo takes care of business." "Kelly acts out primal urges." "Luna, well ..." " She's just plain out there!" "Ooooh!" "I once fit 200 of these in my mouth." "Please, don't." "I love seeing you have so much fun Luna, but your friend, Kelly, is in trouble and she needs our help." "The only trouble I have is you, kangaroo face." "Kangaroo face?" "Listen, Daisy," "I think we sort of got off on the wrong foot." "Come, sit down darling." "Let's just have a little chat, here." "Sort of woman to woman." "Now, Doug is single, right?" "As far as I know." "So, then you wouldn't mind if I show him a good time, right?" "No, why would I?" "Yeah, now that a girl!" "You just put in a good word for me." "Hey, Honey." "Where'd you go?" "Where'd you go?" "Any chance we can get Margo back again?" "I think she'll respond best to these." "Okay, I'll try." "So, Doug, ..." " Uh, huh." "What do you say, you ditch the dingo and you come back to Roswell with me." "Hmm?" "Doug, ... how many times do I have to tell you, if you ignore the furniture in your bar, its going to get covered in lint." "Always carry one with me." "I thought you might." "Margo, I'd like to show you something." "What is it?" "Some sort of a reading?" "Some sort." "It'll help you see all your options." "That's a picture of me?" "Looks like it's Kelly." "One of your alternate personalities." "I am a prostitute?" "Not yet, but at some point in the future, if you let Kelly control your life." "So, you're saying that my life is ruined?" "It's only one possible outcome." "At least Luna appears to be enjoying herself." "But, I'm homeless." "Another option, if you loose your job and Luna's destiny wins." "But, there's one more." "I'm sorry, I've never seen a draw quite like this." "No, no, no." "No, no, ... no." "Well, just calm down." "No, I need to clean." "Calm down, down, we ..." "Calm down." "Look, figure it out." "What is there to figure out?" "I have three lives and they all end badly." "What am I supposed to do?" "These cards are terrible." "You can't let these things happen to me." "We can only guide you away from these outcomes." "How?" "You have to get help, which means letting go of Kelly and Luna." "I don't want to be three people." "I want to be me." "I just don't know who that is anymore." "So, that's her dilemma, which personality to choose?" "If only it were that easy." "Well, I can't go on like this being such a scatterbrain." "It's like I live in a constant daydream." "You know, everyday I wake up and I look around and I realize that I wondered in to some place ... and I have no idea how I got there." "That must be awful." "Do you remember when all this started?" "I used to ..." "I used to float off an awful lot when I was a little kid." "Hmm." "Things were kind of hard at my house." "Especially, after my stepdad moved in." "But, my sister used to protect me." "But, ... the only real solution was for us to run away." "The night that we stole my Mom's car, it was really icy." "We'd only gone just a few miles, when we saw the lights of the truck ..." "I don't really remember anything," "I know we slid off the road and" "I slid down the hill ... and ..." "UH!" "And, then Kelly died instantly." "Ooh!" "Oh, God." "Kelly is your sister." "Oh, my sister." "Oh, God." "Why couldn't I have met you back then?" "Before the accident." "There's nothing you could do to stop it." "Some events are bigger than ourselves." "They have cosmic significance which we can't understand." "But, now, you can make a choice." "But, if I go to therapy and it works then I loose my sister forever." "I thought you said you blacked out whenever Kelly appeared." "I do, but when I come back there's always Mondo and he's usually ranting and raving about something that Kelly said or something Kelly did" "and it's just exactly what my sister would do." "You'll find a way to keep her with you." "Really?" "It won't be easy." "I know." "I guess this is goodbye, then, huh?" "Unless you're hiring here?" "(Doug scoffs) I don't think you'd like the pay or the hours." "Oh." "Good-bye." "Oh, I hope it works out for her." "Let's find out." "How did you do that?" "New feature." "I told you we needed to create better tools." "Oh, waitress, this burger is missing something." "You know just how I like it." "I'll be home at 10." "She kept her job." "Ended up with that hot cowboy ... and ... still had a little bit of Luna with her." "I just wish we got to see some real aliens." "You never know who will come through that door next." "Subtitles by josmndsn"