"How long are we avoiding this?" "Not avoiding nothing." "Just life moving on beyond that thing that happened between me and Lucas." "I know what it was, you do not have to fish-face at me." "Maya, other things are happening." "Life got over it." "Why can't you?" "Life isn't over it." "Haven't you noticed everything stopped?" "Nothing is happening." "Everything's happening!" "Riley, until we talk about, nothing's ever happening again." "Oh, that's the talk of a kook." "Ladies." "Yay!" "Well that's settled then." "Are you here for a reason, Farkle?" "I've got two tickets to a concert but there's three of us." "So who do I take?" "You see, that right there is a very original situation." "There will be many twists and turns that no one will see coming." "I like the way you hugged me, Riley." "I'm taking you." "I did not see that coming." "So we're back." "Subway car, you lock eyes, you fall into his lap, you grab Lucas by the face." "You start moving toward him and..." " Riley!" " Yay!" "Did I do something?" "Am I grounded?" "Does she have to leave?" "You have to leave." "No we're glad you're both here." "We need you to babysit Auggie." "They need us to babysit Auggie." "Been there done that." "Things could happen twice." "Unless it's an emergency, we don't want to hear from you." "What could happen?" "I'll tell ya." "We'll put too much soap in the washing machine, and then we'll find a puppy and say, "can we keep him?"" "And then his owner will show up." "It will be this hot guy that Maya will totally like." "Yay!" "But then he will move away because Maya can never be happy." "Boo!" "You see, we have a lot going on today." "Tomorrow." "Huh?" "Yeah, we need you to babysit tomorrow." "Today we got nothing." "So, you got Lucas by the face and..." "Help me!" "Yay!" "Auggie, do you have any problems that I can help you with?" "Well, I made a new friend at school what if mom doesn't like him?" "What if she picks him up and puts him in the hallway?" "Like Ava!" "What if no one is ever good enough for mommy's little boy?" "This is a thing." "Eh, not a whole thing." "We check back on this twice tops." "I would be involved in it." "Completely your mother's thing." "Yeah, scram." "Mom?" "So that's everybody we know, huh?" "Not quite, you got one more friend that has a problem you could get involved in." "I do?" "Who?" "Oh yeah." "My troubled, misunderstood friend." "People love your problems." "You're a mess!" "Thanks." "My problem is that I have a best friend who doesn't want to talk about the most important thing going on in her life, and I don't know what to do." "Can you help me please?" "I kissed Lucas." "You don't say?" "What happens now?" "The new world." "People who lived their whole lives in a certain place travel to a new land of new feelings and new opportunities." "Having no idea how to behave in this brand new society." "Lucas, what did you tell him?" "Nothing, I am also uncomfortable." "Wait, Mr. Matthews doesn't know Riley kissed Lucas?" "No." "So everything he says is making them uncomfortable?" "Uh-huh." "Shall we take advantage of this?" "How could we not?" "I will begin." "So, Mr. Matthews, tell me, after you've had the courage to close your eyes and take the face of the new world in your trembling hands..." "What are you trying to say, Farkle?" "Are you supposed to be a couple next?" " Or what?" " Huh?" " What?" " Huh?" "Oh, you don't understand my question?" "Perhaps my dear friend miss Maya Penelope Hart could help me out." "Penelope." "Farkle..." "It came out." "It just came out." "It came out." "It just came out." "Penelope?" "Really, huckleberry?" "You want to play with me right now?" "No." "'Cause you've done quite enough, haven't you?" "Maya!" "Maya!" "Mr. Matthews, I think what Farkle is trying to say is once you've kissed..." "Yeep!" "The shores of this new world I bet your friends from the old world would want to hear about how the new world is, and if you don't tell them, well that's just selfish." "What are you trying to say, Penelope?" "Are you supposed to be a couple next, or what?" "Alright, what's going on here, guys?" "Nothing!" "Could we just please, for once, read from the book?" ""The boy and the girl had no idea" of the changes they would soon be facing." ""Everything was different" ""including their own bodies..." What the..." "You're reading your health book." "Word of warning page 73." "I don't understand." "It makes no sense." "It looks impossible." "Riley, what is going on here?" "Farkle kissed my hand." " You did?" " It was glorious." "It was." "I went home and questioned everything." "Okay, and where were you while all of this hand kissing was going on?" "Nowhere, with no one doin' nothing with nobody." "Auggie now." "I don't see where else we can go." "Sorry I didn't have time to buy you something before you came over." "You didn't have to buy me something." "Why else would you come over?" "I came to play with you." "Auggie who is your nice, normal friend who isn't Ava and doesn't need gifts to come over and play with you?" "Doy!" "Excuse me?" "Leave it alone, mom." "Okay, wait a minute though your name again, will you just spell that for me?" "D-e-w-e-y, Doy." "Wait a minute." "The "w" is silent." "Let it be silent." "He's my first bro." "Okay, but see, honey, the "w" is actually not silent." "No!" "Yes." "Doy!" "Let him be right, mom except, he's not right." "No, see, his name is not "Doy"" "no, it's "Dewey."" "With a "w" that you say." "What is that?" "What are you doing?" "You ruined my playdate." "I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry, Dewey." "Doy!" "What the... what did you do to Doy?" "Are you kidding me, Cory?" "It's "coy"." "Around him, it's "coy"." "Come to coy, Doy!" "Can we go to Auggie's room?" "Yes, I'll go and read you a stoy." "Everybody stop looking at me." " Tell us." " I don't kiss and tell." " Did you kiss?" " Yes." " Tell." " And take your time." "Nothing happened." "Back me up, Maya." "That's inaccurate." "Yeah, that's pretty good." "So, what's the next thing you guys are supposed to do?" "Supposed to do?" "What are there?" "Rules?" "I don't know." "But I don't see how you can just kiss someone and not be with them after." "I only kissed Maya's hand, and then I got her this engagement ring right after we got off the subway." "Oh my gosh, Farkle, how much was that?" "$78,000." " But, I got it for free." " How?" "Because that's the ring my mom keeps throwing at my father." "She usually wants it back by Thursday." "So I got to work fast." "So are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend now?" " What are you?" " What are you?" "I don't know." "Do we have to be something?" "Well you did kiss him." "What are ya?" "Look, it just happened." "She's not really sure what it all means yet." "You guys are meant to be together." "Like me and yogi!" "Yogles!" "Will Lucas and I ever have what they have?" "Boy, I hope not." "But you know, riles, they do have a point." "I mean, you like him." "He likes you." "There was a kiss." "I will not act under peer pressure." "Unless you think I should." "I will not give into peer pressure." "What if we carry you?" "I'd like to see you try." "Darby." "Hey, stop." "What are you?" "What are we?" "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" "Are we?" "I don't know, you wanna?" "I don't know." "You think, maybe?" "Wanna?" "Are they weird, or adorable?" "No." "Me and yogi are weird." "They're adorable." "What just happened?" "Do I have my first boyfriend?" "I don't know, what just happened?" "I don't know." "Can't wait to see what happens next." "Okay, here we are." "What do we do now?" "You go on a date after school." "You sit there and look at each other all stupid." "Like this." "Stop." "Nobody's telling us what to do." "We're not you." "You're you." "We're us." "We do what we do." "Yeah, we do what we do." "What do we do?" "What is it in you that makes you do this?" "His name is Dewey." "What's the difference what his name is?" "He says his name is "Doy,"" "and he wants to be called "Doy,"" "so we call him "Doy" because he says his name is "Doy."" "And Doy is a guest in our house." "So will you please let go of your need to be right all the time, and we just call the kid "Doy"?" "Doy?" "Can I please talk to you for a minute?" "I wouldn't." "I wouldn't either." "Come here." "Come on." "Come on." "Ah!" "Okay." "Here's what's going to happen next." "One smoothie, two straws." "You two new at this?" "Don't worry, it gets harder." "We're just sitting here." "Yeah, we haven't talked to each other much at all." "It's too bad, because you're one of my favorite people to talk to." "I think your mom did a really good job on this place." "Yeah, going to be a great hang out, isn't it?" "Yeah, look at all these NYU students." "Smiling..." "Talking..." "Looking real..." "Comfortable with each other, yeah." "Yeah." "I don't know why it's so hard for us to talk all of a sudden." "It's not like we've changed." "We're boyfriend and girlfriend now." "Yeah but those are just words, Riley." "Words don't change people." "Mrs. Farkle Minkus." "You said yes?" "Good-bye Maya Penelope Hart, hello, Mrs. Farkle Minkus." "All this time, I've been trying to love and appreciate her, but all it took was this big, hunking rock." "Make a note, Riley." "They put one of these in front of our face, and we get hypnotized by the sparkles." "Wait, you only said yes because of the ring?" "It had nothing to do with me?" "That would be pretty shallow of me, wouldn't it?" "I don't care." "All right, Farkle, you're a scientist, let's do an experiment." "Ask me without the ring." "Would you marry me?" "Die." "Now ask me with the ring." "Would you marry me?" "I love you so much." "I believe you." "Hypnotized, Riley." "You need to protect me." "Protect you from what, Maya?" "Relationships are supposed to be about two people who make the choice to come together by themselves." "Of their own free will at the right point in time." "It has nothing to do with... how do they get these things so sparkly, Farkley?" "Pressure." "This diamond used to just be a piece of coal that was put under a lot of pressure." "Yeah, I'm keeping it." "Good." "I come with it." "Huh, well, I really love you and everything." " Why, thank you." " I was talking to the ring." "Oh." "The way I see it, the only way we could be happy is if I sell you, get a nice house and the two of us would just be happy with each other." " Just me and you?" " Just me and the ring." " Wait you're selling me?" " I thought that was clear?" "Fine." "Come on Lucas, let's get out of here." "Oh, well I was going to walk Riley home." "You don't have to." "No, I think I should." "Try again." "I want to very much." "Wait, that means I'm walking home with Farkle?" "You're wearing my ring." "Boy, the stuff you got to do." "I'm not sure it's going to work out with them." "You think?" "So you're walking me home?" "Yeah." "Hold hands?" "I guess we should." "Try again." "I want to very much." "Ooh!" "Yeah this isn't going to be weird at all." "Do you know what my name is called?" "Auggie's mommy." "Topanga." "You're just trying to make me feel better." "You think you have a funny name?" "I have a funny name too." "And when I was a little girl," "I could never understand why my parents would do that to me." "I know, right?" "But then, I found out that they love me very much." "And they gave me a name that was important to them." "Do you know what your name means?" "Every morning, before the sun comes up, the ground is wet." "And that water is a gift for the flowers and the grass." "So that they can grow." "And they can make the world more beautiful." "You were given your name because you make your parents' world more beautiful." "Do you understand me?" "Do you know what that water is called that's there for the grass every morning before you wake up?" "Yes." "What is it?" "Morning Doy." "Okay, get out of here, Doy." "Yay!" "He broke ya." "Yeah, he did." "You know, Topanga, one of the things that I've learned from being a teacher is that sometimes you just have to let kids live." "Thank you very much, Lucas." "I had a wonderful time." "You're welcome, Riley." "I also had a wonderful time as well." "Uh, what are you kids doing?" "You guys look really awkward and stiff." "Is this about that kiss I heard about?" "What?" "Everybody pressuring you to be something you're not ready for?" "Not ready!" "Please, stop holding hands." "You look crazy!" "You two are a part of the best group of friends I have ever seen." "And if you're going to let some stupid, outside pressure hurt that, then you're not anywhere near as smart as I thought you were." "But sometimes the right pressure can turn into a diamond." "Yeah, and the wrong pressure turns you into dust." "Do you want to be dust?" "I don't want to be dust." "Lucas?" "I really like you, Riley." "We always have such a great time together." "We should break up." "We should break up right now." "This has been my longest relationship." "Hey Riley, do you have to be home?" "No, we could go somewhere and talk." "I'd like that." "Yeah, like you used to when it was easy." "Let the kids live, huh?" "Let the kids live, huh?" "Ha!" "Dewey!" "Get back here." "We're not done, Dewey!" "Run, Doy!" "Alright, so the pressure's off." "We're friends now." "What do you want to talk about?" "What do you talk about when you're with your friends?" "Well, when I'm with my friends, we usually talk about sports." "You know anything about sports?" "No?" "Any sports?" "Like..." "What about basketball?" "You know anything about basketball?" "Yeah..." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Maybe?" "Well, we're in New York, so obviously, my favorite team are the Knicks." "And you know, this may not be our best year but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter because we have Melo, and we have Phil Jackson, and that's all that counts." "We shouldn't have traded J.R. Smith!" "And at the end of the day, you know what, it's not our best season." "We have a terrible record, we're the worst in the NBA!" "I am at Madison Square Garden, I see all these fake fans just jumping onto bandwagons like the heat or something like that." "And you know what?" "That is not what a true fan is!" "If you're gonna be in the garden, you better represent the Knicks!" "I don't know that much obviously." "I really like you, Riley." "Hey, Lucas and I are friends." "That's what we are, that's what we've always been." "And we are not going to hurt that because you guys want us to be something we're not." "So, go back to your own lives because nobody is moving too fast here." "'Sup." "I'm not going anywhere." "I've got all night." "Hi, my name's Topanga, what's your name?" "Doy." "Do you know what I was doing today?" "I was making a 400-pound man confess to his crimes." "You think I can't handle you?" "Doy!" "Topanga, let the kid go to sleep." "I'm fine, Mr. Matthews." "I got this." "Okay." "You can go to sleep anytime you want." "You just have to say one little word." "Do you know what that word is, kid?" "Doy!" "Doy, Doy, Doy, Doy, Doy-Doy-Doy-Doy-Doy!"