"[NO AUDIBLE SOUND]" "[BREAK DANCING MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "All right." "Here we go, here we go, here we go!" "[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING AND LAUGHTER]" "Yeah!" "Mmm..." "Wahoo!" "[BREAK DANCING MUSIC CONTINUES]" "Dude, this place is fucking awe..." " Dude." "Your brother going to rehab was one of the best things to ever happen to us." "Right, dude?" "This place is freaking sweet!" "You know that if you smoke Viagra, your whole body gets hard." "[BOYS LAUGH]" "I know what happens when you don't smoke that." "Oh, man!" "Dude!" "Look at you, dude!" "Remember the goat?" "[ALL] Oh!" "Come on, Jesus!" "The funny part is, it was soda." "He's not gonna take it, bro." " No?" "Dude, what the fuck are you watching?" "Dude, I'm watching Smurf porn, Jack." "Uh!" "[SCOFFS] Oh-oh-oh-uh!" "It's so blue!" " Oh, Papa Smurf!" "Oh, papa." " All right!" " Papa." "Pay attention." "Holy shit, man!" "Did you just Power Point us?" "Yes, I did." "This is serious." "[SIREN]" "This is me before Jules: directionless, underachieving, etcetera." "Then, January 17, 2006, [JEWISH MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "I meet Jules at Jack's Bar Mitzvah." "Everything changes." "Dude, you're Jewish?" "[JEWISH MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]" "No, not really." "It was a really great party, though." " It was." "I figured I might as well, you know." "[SAD GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪] I don't ask for her number." "Four years pass." "A lot of sadness, masturbation..." "just a corrupt soul." "[UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYS ♪] Then, April 19th, 2010," "Model Congress, Jules nominates me to be her VP." "We run on a platform of racial harmony..." " Yeah!" "Educational reform...." "Hmm!" "General ass-kicking." "[CHEERING] [WHISTLING]" "[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ♪] We win." "She kisses me on the neck." "It was intimate and intense." "[LAUGHING] Dude!" "Dude, it looks like she head-butted you." "Uh regardless, it was enough to say," ""Hey maybe not now, but someday, when I don't have a boyfriend." [HARP MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "[CHEERING] [WEAK CLAPPING]" "My life changes." "I-I-I become interested in politics, Obama, and..." "[GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪] all that social justice stuff." "All because of Jules!" "And now, now she's single." "I gather courage, the plan begins." "[RELIGIOUS MUSIC PLAYS ♪] Woo!" "Dude." " What?" "Yeah!" "7:30pm, we hit Vicio's restaurant." " Nice." "[ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYS ♪] Reservation for 14, Seven guys, seven girls." "It's just chill, you know." "No one's feeling any romantic tension." "9:15pm, we hit Lavo." "[SOFT CLUB MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "A couple of smooth beverages, you know, I'm near Jules." "Not hovering." "And then Jack and I suggest that we walk to Wexler's party." "Take the scenic route, cross the park." "[CRICKETS CHIRPING SOFTLY]" " Slip it in." " And then, at approximately... 11:17pm." "[GUNSHOT] [FAST DRUM MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Take one, pass it down." "You want me to say this line, dude?" ""Hey, you rich private school kids." "Give me your money or I'm gonna make you anally pregnant?"" "I fucking love that line, and I don't even get it." " I'm gonna..." "I'm gonna anally ram you." "I feel like I should say that." "I feel like that sounds better." "It's-it's... "ass pregnant", okay?" "And then I say, "Everybody be calm, just be cool."" "And then you say?" ""Listen you, I'm only afraid of two things:" "God and Luis Sosa." "So you better step off."" "I-I don't know, dude." "I mean..." "I heard Jules doesn't even date dudes, anymore." "He's not wrong." "I'm not sure it's true but there's a persistent rumor she loves boobies as much as I do." "That's a lot, dude." "I mean, I heard a rumor that she was dating some college guy." "Whatever, you know." "We leave for school in a week." "If I don't do anything now, she's definitely going to get with some other dude." "So, it's now or never." "The plan is like, fucking holy, man." "[LAUGHER] Yeah!" " Oh!" " Let's do this shit." "[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Hello, man." " Ah!" "You know I am, dude." "It's J.L. Power Productions, our last hurrah." "Uh!" "Not our last." "Oh, you know what I meant, though." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "[BOTH] Buh-go!" "See ya." " See you later, man." "[♪ DOBLEFLO: "BROTHERS"]" "[MAN] ♪ Ready for this one?" "♪ Oh!" "Yeah Uh-huh ♪" "[CHORUS] ♪ My name is a..." "[MAN] ♪ Costa Rica" "[MAN] ♪ Uh-huh, yeah [CHORUS] ♪ My name is one" "[MAN] ♪ Panama For my people, for my people ♪" "♪ Dig on, dig on" "♪ Yeah!" "Chile, Bolivia ♪ [chorus] ♪ My name is a..." "[MAN] ♪ Yeah [SECOND MAN] ♪ Guatemala, uh!" "[CHORUS] ♪ My name is one" "[SINGING IN SPANISH ♪]" "♪ Cuba, put the label" "[SINGING IN SPANISH ♪]" "♪ Don't it for me, do it for unity ♪" "♪ Those are your brothers some different colors ♪" "♪ It's the way it's supposed to be ♪" "[SINGING IN SPANISH]" "♪ Don't do it for me do it for the beat ♪" "♪ Whether you came from a city of beats ♪" "♪ Make something out of nothing yeah, that's always about ♪" "♪ Not about who got a bigger mouth in the cloud ♪" "♪ Yeah, I wanna show bros the A-love because it comes from the from bottom above..." "Hey!" "Oh!" "There you are." "[LAUGHS]" "Come here." "What's up, guys?" "Hey, dad." "Hey!" "Were you at work?" " Yeah." "[EXCHANGING GREETINGS]" "[SPEAKING SPANISH]" "[BOTH] Muah!" "[KNOCKING]" "Hola." "Hola!" "[SPEAKING SPANISH]" "No, no, no, no, no." "Jack has a party on Saturday por la noche and..." "I'm booked." "Well, we'll do it Saturday afternoon." "Do we have to have a party?" "Well then, let me have a party so I don't feel so sad." "Okay?" "Oh, they're not gonna come all the way out here." "Just ask." "Okay." "Where you going?" "I'm late, um..." "[PHONE RINGS]" "What's up?" "Yo, problem." "Somebody ratted me out to Lena, and she just sent me a text saying that," "I was a fucking man whore, and I should go fuck myself and get AIDS ASAP." "Uh, shit, dude!" "Just call her back and apologize." "Bro, she wished AIDS on me." "Okay, AIDS, man." "She's not coming out tonight." "Yo, hurry up, douche bag!" "Give me one second, all right?" "I'm in the middle of a fucking critical chat, over here." "Where are you?" "Me, Dougie and Helmet are taking on some fucking poseurs from Dwight." "Yo, we go to Birch Wathen, asshole!" "Oh, yeah." "I'm sorry, sorry, sorry." "Some fucking douche bags from Birch Wathen, my bad." "What are you doing there?" "You gotta get showered!" "Well, Lena's not coming." "And none of our friends are coming either, okay?" "And I left out the capper." "Because her dad says he's gonna sue me unless his lawyer can personally administer an STD test." "My fucking penis is legal evidence." "Jules isn't friends with Lena." "She still might come." "Dude, I already texted everybody, all right?" "We're... we're regrouping, Plan 2.0 for Christmas break." "Christmas break?" "No, no, no, no." "Dude!" "Text everyone back." "We can fix this." "Dude!" "Give us that ball, now." "Oh my God, are you serious?" "Because, check it out." "Now what?" "Yeah, seriously." "That's what... that's what up." "Tell Jules, to meet us at your house." "You do it, man!" "I'm fucking embarrassed." "It's not like she'll be surprised." "Just text her." "That way, it won't look like, I'm making a move." "Just, the three of us?" "No, we'll get another girl." "Uh, keep it casual." "We'll start at your house." "Just get home, get ready, I'll be over in your house in an hour..." "With, bro?" "No, no, no, come on." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck." "Yo!" "Oh, what-what's up Carlos?" "What you doing?" "Going through my contacts list." "I'ma-I'ma gonna have to ask you for a favor..." "Uh... actually, I may need one too." "Uh..." "I have to shower." "[SHOWER RUNNING]" "Yo, you gonna wear this shirt?" "Yeah, why not?" "If I was you..." "I'd do less." "That shirt cost $200!" "Yo, you're going out with Jack?" "Yeah." "Cool, cause um..." "I was wondering if you could talk to him about me." "Cause you got that job this summer, working in his dad's office..." "[SCOFFS] It's a shitty fucking job." "Yeah, I know, but you're going away to college, and maybe they need somebody." "Oh, I thought you said you were gonna go back to school and finish." "Yeah, well, I am but don't press me like that." "I didn't get a scholarship like you did in 6th grade to go to a fancy school..." "Don't we say, we weren't going to talk about that." "All right." "I'm just saying, it's good money... maybe you could talk to his parents." "Yeah, I'll-Ill think about it." "[PHONE BUZZING]" "Yo, you're getting a message..." "From who?" "Esther." "Who's Esther?" "What's it say?" "That she could go." "We're back on!" "[YELLING IN SPANISH]" "Dude, I said I was sorry." "Relax, chill, man." "Chill!" "Dude!" "I said "Relax."" "I'm covered." "I'm covered." "It's covered." "[SARAH SILVER AND JOSIAH WAHLRAB:" ""SOMETHING FROM NOTHING" ♪]" "♪ I got the feeling now, somehow ♪" "♪ Our worlds must defy" "♪ Wondering how we'll work it out ♪" "♪ When they re-collide" "♪ Will you ever be my friend?" "[DOORBELL RINGS]" "Melda!" "Door!" "♪ Necessary it will end" "Hi." "Hi." "Do you have a pen or something?" "For me to sign." "You... are you delivering?" "Uh, no, um... are you Jack?" "Luis told me to" " Oh!" "Fuck." "Right!" "You're um..." "Esther." " Esther!" "Nice." "Well, come on in." "[UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Melda, come on!" "Uh, Jesus, dude!" "What did you take?" "Uh, nothing" "Okay, Esther's gonna be here any minute, so you have to go get dressed." "No, no, she's..." "Hey!" "What's up?" "Whoa, whoa!" "Watch out." "Pitching a major channel rear." "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "Dude, I'm not into this." "Okay, you know that I don't dig on Asians." "She's fucking hot!" "Did you not look at her?" "Kinda, I mean but... fuck man!" "Nobody double dates anymore." "Okay, we're not middle-aged and who is she?" "'Cause I don't know that girl." "I texted like, 30 girls and she's the only one who would come." "She was in my SAT class." "What SAT class?" "I told you, I had to take a crappy class in Rego Park." "Rego what?" "Queens!" "She's from Queens." "We were in a study group together." "She might be nice, I didn't really talk to her..." "She might be nice, I didn't really talk to her." "That's the worst recommendation ever!" " Okay, whatever!" "She's hot enough!" "She's here!" "She wants to have fun!" "Go get dressed!" "Bro, Jules isn't coming." "Did you text her?" "Can we just ditch her and just get some falafel or something." "All right, all right!" "I'm texting her right now." "Are you mad?" "Just don't be mad." "[DOOR OPENS]" "Hey!" "Hey." "You made it." "Yeah, um..." "I was supposed to go out with my cousin but it's no big deal." "Do you live around here?" "Oh, hell no." "Jackson Heights." "Uh... he's-he's just getting changed." "[FAST PACED GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Hey, I-I forgot to ask you, um..." "Where you gonna go to school?" "Q.C., the place to be." "Uh, Queens College, um..." "It's super cheap." "Close to home." "My parents would be lost without me, so." "But, what about you?" "Uh, Willhurst." "You-you probably never heard of it." "It's like a..." "No, um..." "I've definitely heard of it." "Um..." "I um... actually applied there." "You must have killed me on the SAT." "Yeah, I don't know about that." "I probably got like, a minus 200." "I didn't even know that was possible." "Well, it is." "Sorry for the delay." "Everything good?" "All clear, bro." "So... you two dated or... you just fucked, or...?" "What?" "[LUIS AND ESTHER] No!" "All right, It's just messing with you." "Why?" "I thought'd be funny." "Sorry." "So, what school are you..." " Princeton." " ...going?" "Wow!" "You must have amazing grades." "Yeah, not really." "I kinda had the inside track." "You know, it helps if there's a library there that's named after your grandfather." "Thanks, Grandpa Abe." "What about you?" "Where are you going?" "You look like, crazy smart." "Oh, yeah." "How can you tell?" "Well, you're..." "Asian?" "Oops." "Is she okay?" "Melda, yeah." "She's just very temperamental." "Boy, she doesn't speak English, so I never really know why she's pissed off." "Uh... so, we're meeting up with your friends and going to a restaurant?" "Well, uh, we have to pick a different restaurant because we lost the reservations to the one I told you about." "There's supposed to be 14 of us, now, there's just four." "Maybe, three." "Four." "Did you?" "I-I texted her but she hasn't texted back, yet." "Anyway!" "We'll pick a different restaurant, uh... we'll hit a club, and then there's this party." "Uh... you said you had a gift certificate to that restaurant" "I..." "I didn't bring a lot of money." "Oh, no!" "We-we can cover you." "And I'm not 21." "You have an I.D.?" "No." "Whoa!" "Are you..." "like, undocumented?" "I just..." "I just don't have a fake ID." "What's your problem?" " We can fix this." "When you texted me, you didn't mention the other plan." "I just thought you'd be cool with it all, because you know?" "What?" "It's not like you had anything to do tonight, right?" "I didn't mean for it to come out that way." "Um..." " Bro, she's clearly not into this, all right?" "The whole plan's fucked." "Uh, it doesn't matter because you should stay!" "Why?" "So you can keep bragging about how lucky you are?" "Lucky?" "Yeah." "Forget it." "I'm gonna go now." "I worked hard for everything I got." "Just because you screwed up your SATs doesn't mean you have to hold it against me." "Are you serious?" "'Cause I'm not an idiot." "I got good grades." "I didn't get straight A's but that's because I had to work everyday for my parents." "I'm sorry you didn't get into Willhurst." "I did get in!" "Then why aren't you going?" "Because I didn't get any scholarship money like I bet you did." "Yeah, I did, but what does that have to do with you?" "'Cause some minorities are more valuable than others, even if they get minus 200 on the SAT." "Are you serious?" " Hey, dude." "I got As." "[JACK SNORTS]" "At least two or three As." "So don't act like you're so much smarter than me." "What'd you get on the SAT?" "Are you serious?" "What'd you get?" "I did good." "You did good?" "I did well." "Whatever the fuck the word it is!" "Maybe not as good as you but you don't have to be a fucking bitch about it." "I'm going." "Oh, good!" "Hey, dude, um..." "What?" "Jules is on her way up." "Fuck!" "Um..." "What do you want to do?" "[ELECTRIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "[DOOR CLOSES]" "Hey, wait!" "Uh, don't go yet." "Why, you think of some better insults?" "No!" "Look." "I'm sorry I said that stuff." "Look..." "I'm sure you earned your scholarship." "So what do I know?" "It's just..." "I thought this dinner was gonna be a different kind of thing." "Actually, I don't know what I was thinking." "Since we never even talked in class, so..." "No hard feelings." "It's just..." "not what I thought." "[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS]" "Good luck at school." "Oh, no, wait." "Don't..." "I'm sorry I was rude." "It..." "Just..." "I'm gonna be really honest with you 'cause this is my last chance." "I mean, there's this girl coming over, and I'm..." "I've been in love with her forever." "And tonight, it was my chance." "But everything got screwed up at the last minute." "That's when you texted me?" "She leaves for Dartmouth in a week." "And I just know some dude is gonna romance her." "Who knows about like, yachting and all that stuff and I just..." "I just-I just wanna dazzle her before she forgets me." "What do you want me to do?" "Just hang out with us." "Four is more balanced than three." "It won't exactly be a double date but..." "I'm supposed to be with Jack?" "Jules is on her way up." "It should be fun, okay?" "It, uh..." "If I crash and burn, it will at least be memorable." "It-it could be an-an epic failure." "If I stay, you can't be an asshole." "It's kinda harsh." "[WHISPERS] Okay." "He'll be better." "We both will." "[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS]" "[♪ BEAR HANDS: "HIGH SOCIETY"]" "Hi!" "Hey!" "Wow!" "I feel special, the welcoming committee is out for me." "Yeah." "Hey!" "I'm Jules." "Esther." "Um... so, what's the plan?" "What?" "Um... into the apartment?" "Out of the apartment?" "Uh... in." "For now." "Cool!" "Let's go!" "♪ My friend Frank" "♪ He sent me a note" "♪ It said I am so lonely" "♪ Would you be my lover..." "Shit, dude." "Which one do we start with?" "Just grab one that looks fancy." "They're all fancy." "We want... oak?" "I..." "I don't want to leave the girls alone together." "Wine is so pussy." "Are we really..." " Hey, just give it to me." "Bro, that's a bottle opener." " Yeah, I know." "Well, it's not gonna open any one of these." "You need to calm down." "I met Lou in SAT class." "Cool!" "And then uh, Jack, um..." "Oh, hey Melda!" "Is she all right?" "Um... yeah." "She's..." "[WHISPERS] She's a little grumpy." "Do you know her?" "Yeah, um..." "I actually used to live below, but..." "Our, uh, our moms would do yoga videos together, so Jack and I would have play dates." "But... but then we moved to the West Side, and then to..." "to Tribeca and then back to the West Side, so." "Wow, how many times have you moved?" "Um... my dad's an architect so he's always like, buying new places and remodeling them." "[DOOR OPENS]" "Hey!" "Wow!" "Oh my..." "Is that a Chewy Chips Ahoy?" "Word!" "Thank you." "That is a lot of wine, Jack." "Yeah, we couldn't really make up our mind, so we just brought a few." "Um... how many people are coming?" "Well, it could be just us four." "Oh, so are we still going to dinner at... ?" "Uh, no, we lost our reservations." "They were for 14." "I guess you heard about Lena." "Yup." "Have you looked at your Facebook page lately, Jack?" "No." "It's like a war zone." "Actually pretty amazing." "So, uh, we could... choose a different restaurant or we could cook?" "Bro." "Uh..." "You have a massive kitchen!" "Dude, I don't even think the oven works." "Seriously!" "I've never seen anyone use it." "And how do you eat?" "Take-out." "You wanna cook with me?" "Um..." "[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Yeah, yeah, um..." "You're always bragging about your mom's cooking." "Let's see what you got." "Cool!" "What's up?" "Wow!" "Um... now what?" "I'm sure we can make spaghetti." "They must have that, right?" "That's possible." "Um... so..." "Who is... the... ?" "Esther?" "Yeah, I... um..." "I mean, is she like his new..." "I don't know, we have all just been hanging out a lot lately." "Hanging out?" "[CONSPIRATIVE MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "What?" "I get it." "Get what?" "I mean, Lou was right." "You're hot." "I get it." "Does that work on all the girls you hang out with?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Oh, making an observation, not hitting on you." "I was hitting on you." "You'd know, trust me." "Great!" "I'll look out for that." "Um... what..." "Can I ask you a question?" "Why did he text me?" "I..." "I mean, you know, he's kind of been ignoring me all year and... so I didn't really see it coming." " Oh, I-I-I told him to." "You did?" "I-I just wanted all of us to get together." "Uh, I wanted to see you before you went to school." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "We totally should've hung out more this summer!" "Um... why didn't you call me?" "Yeah, uh, I was... just nervous." "Why?" "Um... there's something wrong with the housekeeper and Jack's freaking out." "[♪ BEAR HANDS:" ""CAN'T STICK 'EM"]" "Did you eat all these chocolates?" "Did..." "This box is empty." "Melda, did you eat all the chocolates?" "Jack, what is happening, man?" " Oh, it's so bad." "What are you trying to say, dude?" " Just throw up, right now." "Stick your fingers down your throat, like this." "No!" "You stick your fingers down your throat, it's so easy." "I'll show you." " Jack, Jack, Jack!" "What's going on?" "Why are you trying to make her throw up?" " Okay." "It's not as bad as it's gonna sound but it's-it's..." "Okay, then, what is it?" "Well, she must have been cleaning my room and going through my drawers, which she's not supposed to do!" "So?" " You don't go through my dr..." "She found my chocolate stash, man." "And-and-and she ate all of them." "I think she ate all of them." " Oh, fuck!" "They're chocolate covered shrooms and she must be tripping out of her mind!" "Shit!" "We should call an ambulance." "[JACK] No, no, no." "Don't call an ambulance." "You see, she fucking understands English!" "I knew it!" "She doesn't have papers, that's why she's yelling no ambulance!" "Is she gonna die, because..." "She's not gonna die!" "Why would you say that?" "No one's gonna die." "Mushrooms are natural, from the earth." "Yeah?" " So just fucking think, man." "Fucking think!" " Think of what?" "What was going on?" "She doesn't..." "We need to find a way to..." "You!" "Yes!" "You can speak to her, right?" "'Cause she's Filipino and you're Asian." "I'm Korean!" "There's no universal Asian language!" "Are you that fucking stupid?" "I thought maybe they're similar!" "Don't yell at me!" "We need everybody..." "needs to chill out." "Just chill out, all right?" "Translator, like a guide, man." " Are you fucking kidding me?" " No, no, no." "A guide?" " Someone to guide her..." " Are you serious?" "...through this amazing journey!" "It could be... magical!" "I-I-I think we should just calm down." "I just remembered my old babysitter, Pylar?" "She's Filipino and she's a nurse." "I can call her and she can just translate for us." "It's all gonna be okay." "I'm good, how are you?" "Um... what..." "I'm-I'm just wondering, we're having a little bit of a problem right now." "What are you doing?" "That's fantastic!" "Yeah, that's why she's the President, bro." "She gets shit done." "Hoo-oh!" "[COMICAL GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Is she gonna be okay?" "Yeah, she's a trouper." "She'll pull through." "She'll be fine." "She's okay." "Hey man, do you have any pasta here?" "Dude." "Um..." "I don't have any money." "So..." "I got it." " Cool." "Uh... here!" "Just... take it all." "Thanks." "Are those notes?" "Yeah, so I'm considerate and shit." "Dude, this isn't a job interview." "Okay, you got to relax." "I don't know." "I'm rolling with this!" "I mean, your housekeeper is in the den tripping balls!" "The girls are about to leave, and the plan keeps changing." " All right, all right!" "Put this away, 'cause that's not gonna help anything." " Okay, now." "You have to be cool with Esther." " Hey, hey!" " Seriously." "We got this." "Why are you touching me?" "Why are you yelling?" "[INDIE ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "♪ I shake my head real loose" "♪ 'Cause I'm no one you'll meant to ♪" "♪ Jenn all last will have it..." "So..." "How was your summer..." "uh, plans?" "My plans?" "I mean, how was your summer?" "Oh, dude, that's gotta be seriously boring." "No, actually, it was really boring." "Um..." "I interned at Legal Aid." "But pretty much just photocopied." "What did you do, Jack?" "Yeah, what did you do?" "You know what?" "Let's play a game." "Wait, do we have time for that?" "Dude, yes." "I mean, we all just witnessed some crazy shit." "You know, I think we're all a little rattled." "But we have alcohol." "We do have alcohol." "I say, we go guys vs girls." "Do you really want him to be your partner?" "Yeah..." "I was just thinking that same question." "I... really can't drink." "Well, just don't lose, then." "We can totally take them." "[UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "♪ It was a couple cards in whites ♪" "♪ which they kept me inside..." "Okay, first question." "Keeping it simple." "Um... favorite animal!" "Koala bear." "Koala bear?" "Um!" "I wonder." "Here." "One." "Two." "Three." "I actually like Koala bears." "♪ The creepy fields outside at night..." "Okay." "Secret summer activities." "Now, this is a real event that occurred, okay?" "Had sex with Jack." "It wasn't me." "Um..." "summer's not over yet, okay?" "But..." "It's true." "I did make..." " That is not fair!" " ..." "love to myself many times." "So, I can absolutely put myself." "Just like that." "Just like... drink!" "Number of dudes or dudettes that Esther came out with this summer." "Thanks, guys." "[LUIS AND JACK] Yeah!" "[ESTHER] We have to drink." "All right, nice." "Drink." "Drink." "All right." "All right, we're entering a new phase now." "New phase." "Embarrassing sexual situations." "Getting dry humped by my AP Bio partner?" "Okay." "Two, three." "You're the only one who went to a co-ed school!" "You're right, right." " Wait, what happened?" "I don't know, I mean, it was all really quick." "We were just making out and then suddenly, he made this really weird face, like." "[ALL] Oh!" "Or something and it was over." "I-I-I don't know." " I've-I've made that face." "Was I with you, when... ?" "Dude, no." " No?" "Why you keep looking at me?" "I'm not gonna have sex with you." "I'd have to get a lot more drunk." "Well then here." "Then that's what... ?" "No, no, no, no, no." "[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "We've already covered that Jack here is a man whore." " Umph." "And I keep prematurely ejaculating on everybody." "But you're like, mysterious." "[JACK WHISPERS] Mysterious." "Yeah, you're single." "Nobody knows why you broke up with um..." "Robbie" " Robbie!" "What happened?" "Why'd you break up with him?" "Yeah, what did he do?" " Nothing." "That's what he says." "It's all... mysterious." "Shit!" "My breath smells like paint thinner." "Does anyone have like, ten sticks of gum?" "No." "I should actually go." "You have to go to the party, I mean, just watching Jack there will be worth it." "Oh, shit yeah, we should go." "We should not go." "Yeah, Lena might be there." "See, that doesn't sound like fun for me." "Actually, that does like fun." "We can cut through the park." "Get to the party in like, uh, uh, 45 minutes?" "Why-why do you keep on checking your phone?" "Is there like, a surprise party that we're going to or something?" "No!" "It'll be great to get like, air." "Dude, we're outside." "Right now." "Well, what am I gonna tell my parents?" "You could tell them you're at your cousin's!" "I've like, never lied to them." " Whoa, whoa." "Parents want to be lied to, okay?" "It's like an evolutionary survival thing." "Seriously, I haven't told my parents one honest thing since I was 12 and we have, like, the best relationship ever." "You know, I wouldn't mind watching you get humiliated." "It-is that gonna happen?" "Oh, yeah." "[PARTY ROCK SONG PLAYS ♪]" "I'm gonna need to get a lot more drunk." "Esther, come on!" "[ESTHER SPEAKING KOREAN]" "[IN BACKGROUND] Shots, shots, shots." "♪ Partying" "♪ Partying" "♪ Partying" "♪ Partying" "♪ Partying" "♪ Partying" "♪ Partying" "♪ It's a good mile" "♪ Partying" "♪ I'll never make her" "♪ Not knew it was my time" "♪ Oh, oh" "Wait, who are you texting?" "We're supposed to meet up with some guys but they're not gonna make it." "No, it's cool." "I'm kinda glad it's just us." "Yeah, me too." "Hey!" "You fucking rich kids." "We're gonna smack your asses." "Give us your money!" "Yeah, fucking hurry up." "Everybody be calm, just be cool." " Hurry up, yo, we're gonna  ram your ass." "Just be cool." "[SPEAKING SPANISH]" "Dude, they're speaking fucking Mexican!" "This is real!" "Seriously, this is not." " Okay, everybody just be cool!" "Here, you know what?" "You know what?" "Here, you can just... have that." "[JULES] Lou, do you know this guys?" " No!" "Just be cool!" " Hey rich kids!" "Give us your quarter or your..." "We'll anally wreck you!" "Fucking run, man!" "This are real... they're real muggers." "[JACK] Call 9-1-1!" "Call 9-1-1!" "[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]" "[CARLOS SPEAKING SPANISH]" "Bro, are this guys packing heat?" "My man, I'm gonna fuck you up!" "[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]" "[LUIS] Relax, relax." "Okay... whoa!" "All right, all right, all right, all right, all right!" "They're not real muggers, this are my friends." "Fuck!" "You're fucking friends with Latin Kings?" "Yo, I'm gonna bust your ass!" "[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]" "This is Carlos, I told you about him." "He wants to work in your dad's building." "Damn, Lou!" "Great way to ask!" "Sorry!" "The fuck, man!" "This is Dougie and Max with a fucking stupid helmet." "What up?" "I thought they were gonna..." "you know, flake." "So I asked Carlos and Victor." "Carlos?" "Carlos!" "He's the one who's sister you..." "What the fuck did you say?" "Step off, man!" "Step off!" "Step off?" "Who the fuck says "step off," man?" "[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]" "It's not..." "He didn't have sex with her, you know?" "She told me he finished in like, three seconds." "Yo, you think you're better than us, but you're not." "We could've got arrested." "[JULES] What's going on, here?" "Uh..." "He's embarrassed to tell you that he likes you, so we had to mug you." "Fucking genius!" "I'm sorry." "I..." "I thought he was gonna write you a poem." "Everybody knew except for me?" "Yeah, I'm gonna need to change my look if we're gonna go to that party." "[♪ UPPER WEST: "WHATEVER"]" "So... does everybody know about your plan?" "No." "[BOTH] Yo, Lou!" "Lou!" "Yeah, haha." "Maybe?" "Some of the guys, but um..." "I feel like everybody's looking at me." "It could be just because you're beautiful." "Lou..." "Okay." "How is my situation, right now?" "You haven't hung out with many girls, have you?" "My mom likes me." "Uh-uh..." "I mean, she kind of has to." "Yeah, my sister." "She really likes me." "Okay, well, anyone who is not related to you?" "I'm a quick learner." "Give me pointers." "How about..." "If you like someone, you should talk to them and not lie to them." "Yeah..." "I have all kinds of crazy conversations with you." "Just mostly in my head." "Oh, fuck!" "Are those Lena's friends?" " Yeah." "Hey!" "Shaina." "How was your summer?" "So, like, you already have another girlfriend?" "Oh, I'm not his girlfriend." "I... actually think he's kind of a jerk." "He is!" "She had to like, O.D. on Xanax just to stop heaving." "Now, she's gonna look like a freak at orientation." "Did you... tell Lena?" "Tell what?" "I just thought maybe you were the one that told her." "You know, after we..." "I was getting over being wait-listed at Swarthmore!" "I can't believe you'd bring that up!" "You're such an asshole!" "Oh my God!" "[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]" "Jack..." "Do you ever... feel... like... everything you do is just..." "Yeah." "Actually..." "[JACK] Like..." "[ESTHER] A lot..." "Uh..." "I mean, you go first." "Well... tonight.... wasn't the first time I lied to my parents." "I actual..." "What?" "How many times... did you... cheat on your girlfriend?" "I don't know." "I don't exactly remember." "We should probably go back downstairs." "What an asshole!" "I mean, the plan is over." "I swear." "Just... hang out with me a little?" "Just a little longer?" "No more surprises." "Absolutely!" "Done." "Ho-ho-ho shit, Lou!" "Dougie just challenged you and Jack to a free style throw-down." "No, he didn't." "Yeah, he did." " I did." "Let's go, man." "What's a free style throw-down?" "Uh, he's just playing with me." "Were you guys gonna rap about me?" "I see now that, that was a bad idea." "Uh, would you like to go somewhere else?" "[LENA'S FRIENDS SHOUTING IN BACKGROUND]" "Would you please get me out of here?" "I would give you my kidney, man." "Wow!" "No one's ever written a rap for me before." "Bro, please." " Oh, come on." "I-I-I... fine!" "[CHEERING]" "JL Power Productions!" "Rap battle!" "Rap battle!" "Woo!" "Everybody come around!" "Come around!" "Woo!" "Woo-woo!" "All right." " Come on, come on, come on." "Yeah!" "Everybody come around, come around." "Woo, woo, woo!" " Let's go boys!" " All right." "Dougie!" "Play the beat down!" "[DOUGIE HUMMING RAP TUNE]" "Yo!" "Yo!" " Jack!" "♪ Here's to you, Louis" "♪ and I apologize for being unreliable in Stevie Wonder's eyes ♪" "♪ It's true I made a mess, and now I'm in it ♪" "♪ It's true I got more STDs than an AIDs clinic ♪ [CROWD] Oh!" "♪ Also, I'm your boy" "♪ So don't forget that, the cat in the hat ♪" "♪ The hat that had the fun that we had ♪" "♪ And here we are phase three completed ♪" "♪ I kind of fucked it up but still not defeated ♪" "♪ We made it through the park, like Madonna, through the wilderness ♪" "♪ For real, dude, I hope we never tell our children this ♪" "♪ I've have to tell why we do the things we do ♪" "♪ and I don't know what to say, except "You stick with your crew" ♪" "♪ And then my kids will say "Dad, what's wrong with Uncle Lou?" ♪" "♪ And I will say "I don't know, I never knew." ♪" "♪ All I know is "What the fuck went wrong with this night." ♪" "♪ And then I think nothing, baby, everything is right. ♪" "[CROWD CHEERS]" "[HUMMING A NEW RAP TUNE]" "What up, Lou?" "There we go." "Got this!" "♪ Jules this is for you" "♪ I'm kind obsessed I don't know what to do ♪" "♪ I always lose my breath when I see you around my school ♪" "♪ You changed my life it may sound crazy but true ♪" "♪ And I only joined Model Congress because of you ♪" "♪ I can't explain through words it goes beyond this ♪" "♪ I know you're right for me so screw our wrongness ♪" "♪ Every time I'm with you, I wish we never part, so... ♪" "♪ Fuck this fucking cards I'm coming from the heart ♪" "[CROWD GROANS]" "♪ Sometimes I wish you could just see me ♪" "♪ more than a friend and not just a V.P.C. ♪" "♪ I got my heart in my sleeves and it ain't hard to tell ♪" "♪ You could be Barack and I could be Michelle ♪" "[CROWD LAUGHS]" "♪ This whole night was a set-up and I'm sorry that I lied ♪" "♪ I wanted to impress you, I'm not sorry that I tried ♪" "♪ Jack fucked it up tonight" "♪ What a surprise but I'll bet he'll just say ♪" "♪ that it's a blessing in disguise?" "♪" "♪ The kid's a lost cause, yo, it's funny when he tries ♪" "♪ He can't take shit, he's like a promo who's high ♪" "[CROWD CHEERS]" "♪ Now, what to make of Jack you know I can never hate him ♪" "♪ The kid my best friend so I already forgave him ♪" "♪ So unaware I be worried if he lived alone ♪" "♪ the only woman "Clueless" is Alicia Silverston ♪" "[CROWD GROANS]" "♪ I know you're kind of slow and I don't mean no disrespect ♪" "♪ but this night is for her so, I digress ♪" "[CROWD CHEERS]" "[♪ PEACE MUSEUM: "NOIRISH"]" "♪ The artist's artist" "♪ won't give you the time" "♪ just yells their head off" "♪ She's sick with the standard" "♪ She's waiting in line" "♪ It's a shaky science" "♪ the reading of minds" "♪ That changes does it?" "♪ It's pretty freaky" "♪ And you didn't know she left your paper in the laser shop ♪" "♪ My head is spinning" "♪ She might be dreaming" "♪ And if you couldn't tell she had a vision in a prism stop ♪" "[JACK] Watch out, the slide down might be dirty" "[JULES] What?" "Ha, too bad!" "♪ The artist's artist" "[JACK] Seriously?" "♪ Too young for the years..." "What is the deal with this room?" "I was supposed to reserve the place with my mom's credit card, but I forgot..." "And then I lost the credit card, so." "So we improvised!" "This is the best I could do with my card." "It-It's still sweet." "There's like, a walk-in closet." "Come on." "[SILENTLY]" "It doesn't tell at all." "Oh, shit!" "It's on Lou." "That's like..." "Thats like, destiny, man, pointing right at you." " Um..." "Do private school kids play spin the bottle?" "When we were like twelve, maybe." "I just want to say, I was not included in any of those games." "Maybe make up for it." "Okay." "But if it lands on Jack, you guys have to make out." "Okay, but wait." "Here's the D.E..." "L." "Here's the deal." "Here's the deal, people." "It's old schooled rules." "So closet time for whomever it lands on." "Spin." "Come on." "Shit, dude." "Well, I guess you should show me this walk-in closet." "[JULES LAUGHS]" "[CLOSET DOOR OPENS]" "[CLOSET DOOR CLOSES]" "[LUIS LAUGHS]" "Uh." "A little nervous, um." "The room smells pretty weird." "Yeah." "Do you want to play a game?" "What kind?" "Role playing." "No." "Wait, wait but no." "No, hear me out." "Because..." "I'm gonna be like, the Baron of Spain." "And I'm gonna have like, a shipping company, okay?" "And you will be, and wait because this is the best part." "You're gonna be, like..." "Uh." "Do you even know what you're about to say?" "No, I have no idea." "About to say." "Was that okay?" " Oh." "Oh, yeah." "I'm sorry, no." "I um..." "It's just kind of weird with them next to me, you know." "I'm sure they're having fun." "I mean, you know Jack." "Yeah, I know Jack." "How do you know Jack?" "Like...?" "That's my baby daddy, Jack?" "Please tell me there's one girl in your school that hasn't gotten with him." "[KNOCKING] [ESTHER] Um..." "Jack just took his pants off and I'm feeling like a group activity would be better, now." "[JACK] I-I-I." "She said go for it!" "There's, I... it's..." "I'm not like, a raging rape-aholic." "No, you're just an asshole." "I... wouldn't have..." "done anything." "I'm sorry." "No, I'm-I'm sorry." "Um..." "I'm really tired so I'm just, I'm just gonna go." "Maybe..." " I'm sorry, Lou." "No, maybe we can, can hang out tomorrow." "Yeah, maybe." "Um..." "Just call me." "[DOOR OPENS]" "[DOOR CLOSES] Um..." "I should probably head out, too." "This has been really crazy but..." " Oh, wait, wait." "No, no, but-but... we can hang out tomorrow, right?" "Good luck at school." "Bye!" "What the hell happened in here?" "I was only in there for two minutes!" "She..." "Just playing head games, bro." "I..." "I don't even know what's going on." "I'm confused." "I'm a little turned on." "I..." "Dude, put your pants on." "Dude, they're off already, uh." "Fuck." "[GLOOMY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Hey, um, listen." "I can't go home." "I told my parents I'm staying at my cousins, um." "Can I stay with you?" "Are you all right?" "That's my dad." "He's supposed to be closing a deal in Jakarta or something." "That's not your mom?" "Let's just go." "My parents..." "they're not perfect." "I mean..." "I don't know, they can be..." "really protective and..." "They don't know English that well, so..." "I get worried." "'Cause..." "I'll have to leave them at some point, you know." "Is that why you're staying home for school?" "That and..." "I'll have to kidnap several small children to pay for it." "Like, really cute kids who's parents have buckets of money." "I mean..." "I have like, a lot of really cute cousins and.." "You could totally f them up, so." "Oh, God." "[LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Shut up!" "It could work." " Um." "Oh!" "Um, fuck!" " Sorry!" "Um, is this really gonna go online?" "Yeah!" "I mean but it's not like you, you." "It's like, Super Sexy Esther." "Okay!" "I think I want a different name." "Well, like what?" "Catherine?" "Katherine with a K?" "Like middle-aged Katherine?" "No, with a C." "Oh, no!" "I like it, I like it!" "Put it down." "Yeah?" "Oh!" "[PLATE CLATTERS]" "What was that with you and Jules?" "Dude, the plan isn't evolving." "You know, there's..." "so many... angles on it now." "I mean, Esther's into you man." "Did you know that?" "She made out with you." "Yeah, but that's only because she's like, jealous or turned on or something." "Are you making out with some girl in the room." "They're both into you." "I don't know." "It's like..." "You make honesty and sincerity like... sexy." "Um, okay." "Next question is." "What would be your positively perfect first kiss?" "Um... keep... pants... on." "Oh, God!" "Can I just say, I'm really sorry about that?" "Don't be." "I mean..." "I don't know what I was thinking, kissing him." " No, no, no." "He's funny." " Jake." "[JULES] And I mean, when he's not like, lying or being a jerk, he's kind of sweet, so." "You've..." "known him since you were little?" "I don't know, just bring me a cup, man." "[JULES] There was this one time um, [JACK] Bring me a cup, man." "when..." "were were like six or something." "And..." "we were playing hide and seek because that was like, our favorite game in the whole world." "And, um..." "I had like, went into the basement and crammed myself between this two washing machines." " Oh, God!" "But Jack, like, got bored after a while and went upstairs and started watching TV." "So, I was down there, for like, an hour." "[JACK] Ah!" "[JULES] Um..." "[JACK] Ah!" "This is uncomfortable." "Oh, I have rug burn on my dick." "And by the time he came and found me, I was really upset, but..." "I don't know, he... like, took me upstairs and... made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." "He's the first boy I ever kissed." "And other stuff, too." "Lou knows that?" "Yo." "I saw your penis." "You wanna show me yours?" "Nah." "I'm good." "Are we gonna be friends next year?" "Of course." "'Cause my cousin moved." "And now I don't..." "ever talk to him." "You have to remember to do shit." "You don't remember anything." "Dude, come on." "Hey, can you come to my party on Saturday?" "That's... tricky because..." "You see?" "That's what I'm talking about!" "Dude, all right!" "I'll be there." "Just... cookie me." "[PENSIVE GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "♪ Locked in these arms since the night although had it say ♪" "♪ Hold me so tight, so I can't breath the night away ♪" "♪ This tears that are rolling down this cheeks ♪ [PHONE BEEPS]" "[PHONE BEEPS] ♪ And no one is sinking beneath this sheets ♪" "♪ And taking it badly this days ♪" "♪ Been taking it badly  this days ♪ [QUIETLY] Fuck!" "♪ these days" "♪ Been taking it badly this days ♪" "♪ Been taking it badly this days ♪" "♪ These days" "[SPEAKING SPANISH]" "What?" "They gave me permission!" "It-it's my last weekend." "They're not gonna come." "Did you ask?" "Papa, come on." "I'm ju..." "Okay." "Fine!" "I'll ask." "Okay?" "I'm-I'm really late." "Are you sure you don't wanna like, grab breakfast somewhere or something?" "No, I'm late." "I have to work." "But... thanks for letting me crash." "Yeah!" "Of course!" "I had a lot of fun last night." "Me, too." "[DOORBELL RINGS]" "Oh, sorry." "Oh, hey!" "Hey!" "I didn't know you crashed here." "But, uh, uh, I got flowers for... for both of you!" "Uh, m-m-maybe we could, you know, all go get something to eat?" "I... have to go." "Um... bye." "Bye!" " Thanks again." " Yeah!" "Um..." "See ya." " Bye." "Do you wanna... come in?" "Oh, yeah." "Bye!" " Bye." "[FORLON GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Oh, well... this are for you." "Thank you." "So, last night was crazy." "Yeah, um, um, I'm sorry about how it ended." "No I..." "I'm sorry, I ran out like that." "Um... you know, we were all pretty drunk, so..." "So..." "do you want to hang out today?" "Um..." "Yeah!" "I-I still have a lot of packing to do." "But, um..." "what were you thinking?" "Oh, I thought we could um, go to Jack's country house?" "You, and me, and Jack?" "No, Esther, too." "I mean..." "I think she has to work." "I could talk to her." "[JACK ON PHONE] What up, yo?" "[LOUIS ON PHONE] Hey, why'd you leave this morning?" "[JACK] Oh... yeah!" "Uh, sorry, man." "[JACK] I just..." "I had to get home." "Are we still on for tonight?" "[JACK] Yeah!" "Totally, man." "[JACK] But... you should go first, without me." "[JACK] There's this... some shit I got to do for my party." "[JACK] And I'll meet you guys out there." "[JACK] You know, the keys are under the mat, so." "Wait, wait." "You leave the key under the mat?" "[JACK LAUGHS] No one is gonna break in." "[JACK] It's Connecticut, man." "They don't steal out there." "[JACK] They just embezzle and shit." "All right, I'll-I'll talk to you later." "Bye." "[SPEAKING KOREAN]" "The new invoice." "Fill out the invoice." "In-invoice." " Hi, Hi!" "I'll-I'll take care of it." "Um... can you take a cash deposit?" "Sure!" "Of course." "Okay, um..." "[SPEAKING KOREAN]" "[SPEAKING KOREAN]" "Yes, inf." "Ha!" "There we go." "I feel like I'm..." "yelling down a hallway." "This is great." "[CONSPIRATIVE MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "I don't want to be part of some... plan." "You didn't have fun last night?" "I don't know." "You should see Jack's country house." "It's a palace." "Uh, Jules is gonna be there." "I can't sleep over." "Tell them I'ma..." "good Korean boy." "They're not blind!" "Just try to come." "[DOORBELL RINGS] [JACK] Mom!" "I'm trying!" "Because nobody is in town right now!" "I... all right..." "[DOORBELL RINGS] I'm sorry!" "Mom, I have to call you back." "Then just hold on." " Jack." " Hold on." "Are-are we gonna go or what?" " Yeah, yeah, no, we are." "[QUIETLY] But can you help me out with something really quickly?" "I'm-I'm totally fucked here." "Mom, I have to call you back." "I can't..." "I didn't get into Princeton." "I mean, they sorta accepted me." "I think, but..." "I have to finish summer school first." "like, the week my World War II paper was due and... maybe I lifted some details from "Call of Duty"." "Did you actually think that, that was actually gonna work?" "My tutor had mono!" " Oh, come on." "Seriously, they called my mom and they told her that I failed." "I have to go to a post-grad year at some prep school but the application deadline was like, three months ago." "And my parents just dropped a million dollars to get me in and I have to finish the application tonight but none of my tutors are in town." " Okay, did you tell Lou?" "No, I'm fucking embarrassed." "Look, will you help me." "Let's knock it out so quick, and then we'll go." "[WHISPERS] Please." "[ROMANTIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "[VOICEMAIL] Hey, it's Jules." "Leave a message." "[BEEP]" "Hey Jules, it's Lou." "I got your text, don't worry about it." "Esther and I are on our way out there." "Uh, Jack should be there soon, too, so..." "See you soon!" "Good luck with your packing." "Bye." "They actually leave the key under the mat." "All right." "Um... no one else is here?" "Well, he said we can just..." "go right in." "It's cool." "What is that?" "They actually have their own gymnasium." "It just says, "make a personal statement of your choice."" "That's easy." "How is that easy?" "If there's no question." "You just talk about a life lesson that you've learned or like... overcoming adversity." "Although, have you actually ever like, learned any life lessons?" "Jules." "I wanted to call you." "You know, it's been almost a year, Jack." "Yeah, I know." "I just, I got so nervous." "I stole so much Xanax from my mom." "If you didn't want to break up with Lena, you should've just told me." "You didn't have to... ignore me." "I know." "I..." "She got back from Guatemala, and she had food poisoning." "Okay?" "And then her laptop got stolen." "And Lou really likes you." "She was in all of my classes." "I just think... maybe I'm someone who's always gonna disappoint people." "You know?" "Maybe that's just who I am." "At least Lou's is a nice person." "He is nice, Jack." "But I mean..." "You can't just... set me up with somebody else, you know," "That's kind of a dick move." "[LUIS] Uh..." "Hey Jules, it's Lou." "Just uh, I wanted to see if you were... on your way or..." "Uh... still coming." "Um." "[TO HIMSELF] That's cool." "Oh, sorry, um." "I'm... just..." "excited to see you." "Uh, Esther's is too." "You know, she's-she's here, she's having fun." "Um..." "Yeah, and-and like, we-we-we like to see you." "We love to see you." "Uh... okay!" "Um." "So." "Uh, I'll see you soon." "I'll talk to you later, I hope." "Bye!" "Bad?" "It wasn't smooth." "Fuck." "Shit." "Look, should we just leave?" "Because... if they're not gonna come, I mean..." "I'm just really..." " Oh, I mean." "No, no, no, Jack..." "Jack's on his way, you know." "He's just like that." "Jules, too?" "How was your year?" "I mean, otherwise." "Are you serious?" "It was... great." "I don't know." "You remember that girl Esther, that you exposed yourself to?" "I feel kind of bad about that." " Yeah, well." "She's probably the best friend that I've made all year." "How about you?" "Um..." "I got arrested." "Twice." "Are you serious?" "For buying a fake ID." "Same cop both times." "How's that even possible?" "He had a mustache the second time." " Oh my God." "No, it's not funny." "I'm sorry." "[WISTFUL GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Hey." "Can I ask you a question?" "Yeah, what?" "Well..." "In class..." "I thought you were..." "What?" "I don't know." "Were you..." "looking at me?" "Oh, uh." "You mean like..." "Never mind." "Oh, no, yeah." "No, I..." "I was." "It's something I do to help get me through class." "What?" "Well, sometimes I..." "I stare at pretty girls to help me focus." "Yeah, I shouldn't have." "I'm sorry." "No, no, it's... it's fine." "It's..." "I mean, I... thought it was kinda weird at first." "But... after I while I..." "kind liked it, I guess." "It's nice to be noticed." "But... you've liked Jules for..." "a while." "Yeah..." "I still think she's hung up on her ex-boyfriend, though." "What did you write about?" "Caleb." "Your half-brother, the circus freak?" "Don't make fun of him!" "He made it into Ringling Brothers and..." "I don't know." "He's all I have." "Your brother and sister are awesome." "Connor the opera singer, who's pre-med and double majoring in Econ 'cause that's not hard to follow." "Or Brooke, who took a year off to help poor kids in Africa." "No, I know, that's so cool." "My sister, should be getting wasted with her hot friends and then helping me hook up with them." "You know what the crazy thing is?" "I think you actually believe all the shit you say." "I'd do the same thing for her." "You know, that's actually what you should write about." "What?" " Well..." "How you're kind of an asshole." "It..." "It could actually probably be kinda funny." "Just say all the stupid stuff I do." "Well, yeah!" "But you..." "You talk about it and then talk about how it was helping you, like, see outside of yourself and change you and..." "Wow." "You should just write that." "Can you... you should..." " No." "You have to write it." "I'll help you fix it." "Seriously, type!" ""I Jack, the asshole."" "[LETHARGIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "We really need to call Lou." "There's now way we're gonna get up there tonight." "I'll text him, say we're coming in the morning." "No." "We need to call him." "I don't wanna lie." "I'm not gonna lie." "Just gonna... call him later." "Okay, promise." "So, neither of them are coming." "Jack isn't picking up." "And he said he'll be here in the morning." "And Jules is home packing." "So she's not coming." "I have to get home tonight." "Oh, fuck!" "Um..." "How much money do you have?" "Like... ten dollars?" "Shit!" "I spent everything I had on the cab here." "Well, what are we gonna do, because I..." "I-I have to get home." "I-I-I told you that I can't stay." " Okay, okay." "I'm-I'm-I'm... really sorry, okay?" "Can we just..." "Think about this for a second?" "[GLOOMY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "[SPEAKING KOREAN]" "Fuck!" "I... told them I was with my cousin, but... she was having dinner with them." "Oh, fuck!" "[PHONE VIBRATES]" "Just, tell them you're with your friends." "You don't get it." "Okay, what don't I get?" "I've been lying to my parents, all year." "I never... told them I applied to Willhurst." "I even put a deposit down, just in case I won the lottery." "I thought... maybe if I got a big scholarship but... if you save any money at all, you get screwed by Financial Aid." "They've done everything for me and..." "I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna just leave them." "Oh, okay, wait." "I'm confused." "Are-are you worried about the money or about leaving them?" "I don't know." "You know what?" "Let's get you drunk." "I'm serious." "[♪ BEAR HANDS: "TALL TRESS"]" "♪ Full lights on a green screen ♪" "♪ Light up like a machine, yeah ♪" "♪ Beep, read, hum, compute" "♪ Something's coming..." "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, no!" "[LUIS] There you go!" "[LAUGHS]" "[ESTHER] Yes!" "For you guys." "For you." "So that you're saying they won't get it?" "You're gonna go to a good school and make more money." "Well, you can't guarantee that." "And..." "I'll just... transfer next year when I... get more money." "Or you'll chicken out again." "Oh." "Well, you do the same thing." "You've been wanting to ask out Jules for how long... ?" " Oh, no, that's different." " And ugh." " That's totally, it's different." "How is that different?" "Because... at least I tried." "Oh, your-your plan that you're working on for two months." "Hey!" "That plan was legit and you know it." "No, it wasn't." "Oh, nice shot." "Oh, how about you?" "You know?" "[IN A HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] "Oh, look at me, I go to a community college." "Oh..."" " Um..." "And then, and then." "You'll be like." "This is you when you're 30:" " Okay." "I still work for my folks in the bodega with no prospects and my boobs are sagging."" "Oh, thanks." " "And no dudes are macking on me."" "Thanks." " "And I wish I had a fancier job and some fit dudes..."" "Okay, well... you make it seem like it's so simple." "But it is." "No, it... it's not." "It is." "Because..." "You see, my parents are probably just like your parents." "They've..." "worked so fucking hard!" "And my dad is always so tired!" "He's not someone you would want to piss off in the morning." "Yeah, my dad's like that, too." "Yeah, exactly!" "See?" "When I started at Prep-for-Prep, I didn't want to go." "And I wanted to just stay in my room but my dad came in and was all like:" ""I don't work this hard for you to stay home."" "But he said it in Spanish and that shit was fucking scary." "Just talk to your parents." "[JULES] You know when we were leaving the hotel." "I saw my dad with some other woman." "Is she hot at least?" "Was that really the first thing that came to mind?" "I don't know." "I thought I'll try to be funny." "Was it really a surprise, about your dad?" "My mom is beautiful." "It's not about that." "It's not..." "I mean..." "Can you really imagine being with one person for your whole life?" "Yes." "Seriously?" "One person." "You don't want to get married?" "I'll just fuck it up." "Maybe when I'm 50..." "and really fat." "Because by then, it's like, whatever." "That's really romantic." "Well, you have unrealistic expectations." "No, I don't, I just..." "I think you just have to..." "have honesty." "You start with that." "I don't think it's that easy." "You know, talk to your dad." "Talk to your mom." "Maybe I will." "Maybe I will." "Can we just... sleep." "I'm so tired." "Okay." "But only for like, two hours." "Okay." "We're not having sex." "Okay." "And if you try to take advantage of me..." "I'll kick you right out." "Okay, Jack." "[TV CHATTER]" "I don't get it." "Who is she?" "She's his doctor and... they've been together but..." "It's just so complicated." "No, no." "This is killing my brain." "Can we please just like, change the channel?" " No, no, no." "We have to watch this!" " Oh, why?" "Because..." "I've been waiting to watch this episode all week." "That's my bed." "I know, it's... really comfortable." "Yeah, you know what?" "No, it is a new mattress." "And I would really like to be sleeping on it." " You know what, Jack?" "If you are so uncomfortable, you should just sleep on the top bunk." "I can't sleep on the top bunk." "I have a legitimate fear of heights." "Jack, it's five feet off the ground." "It's agoraphobia!" "And it's not a joke." " Jack, I don't think that, that means..." "Whatever." "Because I feel like..." " Oh my God, how old are you?" " ...that's fair." "No, I'm..." "I'm 18." "I'm a man." "I'm just, you know." "Man wants a tuck-in." "Please?" "[INDIE ROCK SONG PLAYS ♪]" "[JULES] You were so much cuter when you were 12." "I was such a spaz." "You were nicer." "Remembered all of my birthdays." "And half-birthdays, too." "Except for this year." "♪ Locked in these arms since the night although had it say ♪" "How did I get so hung up on you?" "Seriously." "You know what?" "We just need to like, start over." "♪ These tears that are rolling down these cheeks ♪" "♪ And no one will see them beneath this sheets ♪" "♪ Been taking it badly this days ♪" "♪ Been taking it badly this days ♪" "♪ These days" "What if I was gonna be better?" "I want to be like, so much better." "You really should call, though." "[LUIS] You wanna go in?" "I don't have a bathing suit." "You could always go in naked." "No, that is not happening." "I will if you will." "Oh!" "Oh my God!" "I'm so sorry." "I-I just had to." "Are you... are you okay?" "No, no, no." "I have any no other clothes, please." "Don't do it." "All right." "Fine." "Hey." "[PHONE BUZZING]" "Hey." "[PHONE BUZZING]" "[PHONE RINGING]" "[VOICEMAIL] Keep it short." "Lou's a busy man." "[BEEP]" "Hey man." "What's up, yo?" "I'm really sorry I blew you off but..." "I had like, an emergency, kinda." "I mean, I really." "Like, a real emergency, though." "Um..." "[OPERATOR] If you are satisfied with your message, press..." "[BEEP]" "Hey man, what's up!" "Um..." "Um..." "Something came up." "I just thought..." "I had to deal with it" "I-I was hoping I could've avoid telling you." "Hey buddy." "[OPERATOR] If you are satisfied with your..." "Hey, man!" "I-I just got your message." "I completely fucked up, you know." "But I'll be out there ASAP to pick you guys up." "Um... maybe you and Esther hooked up or like, you know, not in my bed though, because that's weird." "I... have to talk to you about something... about Jules... and me." "But look man, I... don't..." "I... hope you'll still want to be my friend." "After... just... because..." "Because you're really important to me, dude, and" "If you are satisfied with your message, press one." "To listen to your message, press two." "[DOORBELL RINGS]" "Jack would ring the doorbell to his own house." "How are you doing today, guys?" "Hi." " Hi." " You guys live here?" "No, but my friend Jack does." "Your friend Jack?" " Yeah." "Okay, where is Jack, now?" "Is he here?" "I... not yet." "Are the owners here?" "I'm gonna need you guys to step out for a second so I can speak to ya." "Are you serious?" "I need you to come outside for a minute." "I wanna talk to ya." "[OMINOUS GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "He's not picking up his phone." "Call his parents!" "I don't have their number." "Then call..." "Jules." "I mean..." "I'd..." "Fine!" "Okay." "I can't believe this is happening." "You guys get a hold of anybody?" "All right, well, we can't get a hold of anybody that says you can be here." "You're gonna come with us, you're gonna, we're gonna wait at my headquarters." "Your parents are gonna come to my headquarters and pick you up." "You're gonna call our parents?" " Yup." "We're gonna get a hold of you parents." "Let's go." "Come on." "You have anything in your backpack, anything I need to know about?" "Any drugs, any weapons, anything like that?" "[LUIS] No, there's nothing in my pockets." "[POLICE OFFICER] No?" "[POLICE OFFICER] Nothing in your pockets?" "[LUIS] Nope, man." "Relax." " I am relaxed." " No, you're not relaxed." "Okay." " It'd better if you just kept your mouth shut." "Go, have a seat." "You have anything in your bag, I need to know about?" "No." " Let me see it." "Anything illegal, any weapons?" "Um-um." "Just my phone and my wallet." "You have anything sharp on you that's gonna stick me?" " Mm-mm." "Nothing at all?" " No." "Anything in your pockets?" "All right, follow me." "Come around here." "Come around the car." "Hop in there." "Watch your feet." "Thank you." "[SPEAKING SPANISH]" "[MELANCHOLY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "[JACK] Hi." "[POLICE OFFICER] Good morning." "[JACK] Hey, yeah." "This is uh, my house." "[POLICE OFFICER] Are you... ?" "[JACK] Yeah, I'm Jack." "No, I mean, we can drop you off a home." "It's really not..." "No, it's okay." "I can get there faster on the train." "Okay." "Bye." "Hey, wait up!" "What?" "Look, um..." "I'm sorry." "I, uh..." "I probably won't see you again..." "before I go." "Good luck at school." "You, too." "[MELANCHOLY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Hey." "Uh..." "I thought you were home, packing last night." "Uh, no, I was helping Jack out with something." "Um... you should probably talk to him." "He, he, he... needs.." "Yeah." "I'm really sorry about..." "It's okay." " ...the, um..." "I'm-I'm gonna go." "Hey." "Hey!" "Uh..." "Did Jules sleep here last night?" "Yeah, sort of." "Um..." "I needed help writing a paper, though." "You know, it was a total emergency." "What the fuck?" "She and I have..." "a long history, man but..." "She likes you." "She really does like you." "I spent almost all of my savings on this weekend." "I know!" "I know, and..." "I was down with the plan, you know." "I forgot a few things." "A few things?" "It didn't occur to you to tell your parents before I went up to your country house?" "Didn't think that my neighbors were gonna be assholes." "Oh, you didn't think that they would freak when they saw me?" "I mean, how many Puerto Ricans have you seen out there not mowing lawns or changing sheets?" " I fucked up, okay?" "I fuck everything up." "You know I like her." "I know!" "I know." "I like her, too." "Oh." "Fuck this." "Thanks for getting my bag, man." "No, this is fucking stupid, man." "I don't want a girl to screw up our friendship." "Oh, no, no, no." "We're not friends." "Name one thing you've actually done for me." "I... have to... do things?" "Yeah!" "I've lied to girls for you." "I've cheated on tests for you" " I..." "I got you that job." "I was a janitor." "I barely made minimum wage." "And I only took it because my parents said I had to be super thankful." "You know, it's a big deal to be friends with the Coltraub's." "Gotta work that." "Two weeks after school starts, I'll never hear from you again because, because that would require effort!" "And you've never worked for anything in your life." "Your parents just buy you everything." "Yeah, they do." "But they're disappointed every time I talk." "Good luck at school." "[DOWNBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "[LUIS' MOTHER] Hijo!" "[LUIS' FATHER] Hey!" "[EVERYONE] Hey!" "[DOOR OPENS]" "[SPEAKING KOREAN]" "[SPEAKING SPANISH]" "[SPEAKING KOREAN]" "[SPEAKING SPANISH]" "Hmm-hmm." "That was a mistake." "I know." "Eh..." "Jack's parents explained." "You spoke to them." "Eh, you know, eh..." "You've accomplished a lot." "More than I ever had the opportunity when I was your age." "La fiesta tonight is, eh..." "Is more for us." "For me, and..." "and your mother." "And uh..." "We're very proud of you." "Yeah, so." "As long as you know that." "So, good?" "[LATIN FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Hey!" "What's up?" "[CROWD] Hey!" "[SINGING IN SPANISH ♪]" "Hey, man." "Look, I know you don't want me here." "But..." "I..." "I still want to leave." "You know, without..." "You know?" "I've been hanging with your boy." "Oh, you spoke to Carlos?" " Yeah!" "Yeah." "For sure." "For sure." "Jack said he's sorry for calling me a gang banger." "And it was your fault anyways." "You know, the whole mugging." "So I decided clean slate." "Dude, it started so simply." "We're just like, talking about nicknames." "We both love nicknames." "I call him C-dog." "And then he just..." " J.C." "That's what he wants me to call him, now." "I like it, because it sounds like Jesus." "Yeah, I'ma, I'ma gonna head back in the kitchen but um..." "Don't worry about shit, right now." "We'll talk later, all right?" "Fucking!" "He's a cool, dude." "I got your message." "You left five." "Yeah." "I suck at technology." "So..." "You have to go to a prep school?" "Oh, man!" "Your parents must be pissed." "My dad's definitely wishing he used a condom, roughly 18 years ago." "I..." "It looks like he's hanging in there." "Dude, they wanted to be here." "They like you, man." "They just just don't like me." "Yeah, well." "Sometimes you're hard to like." "I know." "Just... don't write me off." "You know, I can be better." "They had to drop a huge pile of cash at that prep school." "Funny, like three scholarships just to get me in." "Oh, what kind of scholarships?" "Can anyone apply?" "You don't... you don't need to go to prep school." "Nah." "For C-dog." "Yeah, I mean." "I don't know." "I can ask." "Cool." "[LATIN FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "I thought you were on lockdown." "You know, our parents are push-overs." "Are you..." "going to invite us in?" "[LATIN FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Oh, hey, Lou." "Um..." "Hey." " Hey." "Listen, I just want to say I'm really sorry about..." " Oh, no, don't even." "This whole weekend was one big mess, but uh..." " No, no, no." "It... really." "It was nice." "No one's ever done anything like that for me before." "No one should ever." "It's the best piece." "Thank you." " You're welcome." "Hey!" "Hey." "[CLEARS THROAT]" "So..." "I want you to know that I'm turning over a new leaf." "The girls I hooked up with." "We didn't really hook up." "I mean, we made out for like, five seconds and then you took your pants off." "Yeah." "Well..." "Regardless." "I want to keep in touch." "I... actually wouldn't mind that." "[JULIE] You know what?" "We should say a verb." "It's like..." "You know, say whatever and..." "Say whatever?" "Like?" "I don't know, like..." "How was last night?" "She's pretty cool." "I approve." "[SLOW GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "Hey!" "Hey." "What's up." "This food is like, stupid good." "[JULES] This is so bad." "[JACK] Serious man." "[JACK]I feel like the Battle of Helmet Deep is running in my bowls." "[JACK] I..." "I should not have mixed burritos and Milk Duds." "[JULES] Yeah, that was probably..." "[JACK] That was a terrible idea." "[JULES] Not really." "[JACK] And it was like, way too much milk." "[JACK] I don't think I've drunk that much milk." "[JACK] They don't anymore, because I drank it all." "[JACK] And then it..." "it's congealing with the burrito..." "[JULES] Ew." "[JACK] ...right now." "[UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "♪ Two can play this game I made inside my head ♪" "♪ One does soul then the other one is very dead ♪" "♪ So listen high, listen low ♪" "[SPEAKING SPANISH]" "Uh, can I just..." "Here, I'll take the bag." "I-I want to meet your roommate and uh, fix your room a little bit." "Yes!" "Yes." "It's okay, I..." "I don't-I don't think that'll be a um, a good idea." "I..." "I-I just don't want to say goodbye to you in front of everybody." "It's okay." "It's okay." "[FORLON GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ♪]" "It's okay." "[DOORBELL RINGS]" "Got it!" "Hey." "Hey." "Come in." "All packed." "Yeah." "Is that for me?" "Hey, Jack." "Hey!" "What's up?" "Did you talk to her?" "My dad, too." "How was that?" "So, are you gonna let me open it or." " Yeah!" "Yeah." " Yeah." "I uh..." "was gonna write you a rap." "But Luis kind of beat me to it." "So..." "I got you that." "Just been looking at it a lot, lately, so..." "Some weird gone off my hair, but..." "You look pretty good." "You know, Dartmouth's only 80 minutes from my school." "I may've uh... googled it." "And some, some bus times, too." "But, if you ever wanna... come study or... just watch me implode." "[INDIE ROCK SONG PLAYS ♪]" "♪ Live by day, you must've, just a saddest glen ♪" "♪ Oh, when is it that time the minutes in, the carnival ♪" "♪ The time like that day I've lied..." "Hey, Melda." "What's up?" "Oh-oh." "Okay." "Eh, I'm gonna miss you, too." "Stay away from those chocolates, okay?" "Okay." "Ready?" "[GUITAR MUSIC SPEEDS UP]" "♪ Two can play this game I made inside my head ♪" "♪ One does soul then the other one is very dead ♪" "Hey!" "♪ So listen high and listen low ♪" "♪ And maybe you will give a silent scream of voices..." "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" "I was afraid I might... chicken out." "Yeah, I mean, it's just a couple hundred grand worth of loans, right?" "I hope it's worth it." "So, uh, where are you headed?" "Uh... student center?" "I was actually gonna go there, too." "Cool!" "Oh, well." "I think it's that way, actually." "Okay," "Um..." "So, did you just get here?" "Yeah, I did." "I dropped myself off at my dorm room." "Cool!" "[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]" "How was it?" "It's nice." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "How many roommates do you have ?" " I have..."