"Halloween." "A time of year when school and fun come together." "This year seemed it would be the same." "Some people were already in costume." "The smell of candy was in the air." "We were all looking forward to Halloween." "All of us except Spinelli." " Where is Spinelli, anmay?" " Probably making blood." "She'll catch up." "I was wrong." "Spinelli wouldn't catch up." "That day, she changed in a way we didn't expect." "But I'm getting ahead of myself." "We'd seen a lot of changes, starting over a month ago." "It was the first day of school and we weren't fourth-graders any more." "We'd moved up to finh Grade." "Here she is, good old 3rd Street School." "The place really grows on you." " Mother Nature's prepared an idyllic day." " Check it out." "Birds are chirping, grass is green and there's suckers to beat at kickball." "School's gonna be its rockingest yet." "We're fifth-graders!" "Fifth-graders get their own lockers." "I can hide my inventions." "I'll be second-in-line to slide down Rusty." " Just wait till recess!" " l can't wait for lunch in the cafeteria." "My fifth-grade taste-buds are more sophisticated." " l actually look fomard to being in class!" " What the...?" "Don't forget this year we have Miss Milky." " l love Miss Milky." " Eveyone does, Vince." "She loves us." "Fifth grade will be the best year yet!" "OK, hooligans, settle down." "I'm Miss Finster, your fifth-grade teacher." "Got something in your eye?" "Go to the nurse." " Miss Finster?" " What is it?" "We were expecting Miss Milky to teach us." "Milky transferred out." "I'm taking her place." "Randall?" " Yes, Miss?" " You're my class informant." "Oh, boy!" "Fifth-grade will be the best ever!" "Yes, it'll have discipline, homework, tests and more discipline." "OK, I want a 3,OOO-word essay on what you hooligans did over the summer and how you were punished for doing it." "That was a whompingly amul experience!" "OK, so having Finster is a setback, but I'll break her down." "She gave us six te_ books!" "Who needs six books?" "Books - hea_ - must put down!" "This is a great opportunity to use our new lockers." "They ought to be right over..." "The lockers!" "They're gone!" " What happened?" " Hi, fifth-graders." "The lockers have been replaced by these inspirational posters." " What about our stuff?" " Can't...hold...on." "School is for learning, not complaining." "Ta-ta!" "So we don't get lockers and Finster's our teacher." "There's still lots of other great stuff." "True, TJ." "Carying these books has given me an appetite." " Who's up for lunch?" " Now you're talking!" "On the first day of school, it's usually pizza!" "Pizza!" " This doesn't look like pizza." " What is it?" "It's nutrition paste, part of the new cafeteria menu." "So instead of tasty, kid-friendly entrées, we get nutrition paste evey day?" "Course not!" "Tuesday it's nutrition log, Wednesday, nutrition lumps," "Thursday, nutrition loaf, Friday, macaroni and nutrition." "OK, they took away our teacher, our lockers and our lunch." "But we still got recess." "No!" "No!" "Rusty!" "No!" "Sory, district orders." " They took the playground!" " Why would they do that?" " Are they mad?" " Never again to roll in the clover, or make necklaces of dandelions or hats of mud." "They've taken our childhood!" "They've gone too far!" "Attention!" "This is Principal Prickly." "You may have noticed a few changes today." "It's all part of the Board of Education's school improvement policy." "I hope you enjoy your improved..." "TJ, what do you want?" " l want answers." " l'm addressing the students." "Sign off or I may say something the kindergarteners shouldn't hear." "That's all for now." "Go back to your fun." " TJ, I understand if you're upset..." " Upset?" "You've ruined our school!" "Don't blame me." "It wasn't my idea." "No one's ruining school." " The Board made a few changes." " They paved our playground!" "The Board feels maintaining grass and play equipment diverts money from elsewhere." "Like these pre-recorded announcements." " Less play, more studying." "That is all." " What?" "!" " Sounds like a nice lady." " And the lockers?" "The Board feels the posters are a better use of wall space and you can hold your books." " And the grey gunk for lunch?" " Nutrition paste contains all the vitamins." " The data's in the improvement plan." " Did you forget what it's like to be a kid?" " To kids, this is crummy." " l'm not so sure about this plan myself." " But there's nothing I can do." " You can say no." "I can't!" "I'll lose my job." "They'll replace me with someone who'll go along with them." " But, Principal Prickly..." " You must understand:" "I seem like a big boss here, but to the Board l'm just a little guy." "Sometimes the little guy can't change things." "Understand?" "Yes, sir, I think I do." "Thank you." " What did Prickly say?" " That the little guy has to accept things." " School will be like this for ever?" "!" " l didn't say that, Gus. I didn't say that." "TJ, time for school." "Your toast is getting cold." " TJ's not coming down." " Is he sick?" " He's always been sick." " Slander, Becky!" "He's not coming down." "That's good enough for me." " See what's going on, dear." " l'll see." " TJ?" " Hi, Mom." "Time to come down, now!" "Your door's locked." " It's not just locked, it's barricaded." " Barricaded?" "Why?" "And how about school?" "That's not a problem, Mom." "As of today, I'm never going to school again." " Hi, dweebs." " Hi." "Is TJ ready?" " Nope." " What do you mean?" "Oh, he's barricaded himself in his room and claims he's never coming out." "Freak!" "Now, kiddies." "Normal people go to class." " l hope it's the obedience school!" " If Becky's telling the truth," " why would TJ lock himself in?" " It's a conundrum." "Let's investigate." "TJ, open up!" "Sory, Dad, but I can't." "TJ, this prank is getting serious." "If you don't go to school now, you'll get a tardy!" "If I don't go to work now, I'll get a tardy." "Come out or you're grounded." " OK with me." " He's going to be tardy. I'll call school." "What happens ne_ is in the hands of fate." "What the...?" " Hi, TJ" " The banana was Mikey's lunch." " What's going on?" " l've stopped going to school." " You can't do that!" "He can't, can he?" " According to the adults, no, he can't." "They can't turn our school into a boring crummy place." "Let's see who's right." "A lone student staging an act of civil disobedience against a Board of Education." " A revolutionay concept." " What's that?" " What's going on?" " TJ's never going back to school, ever!" " Really?" "Cool!" " What's cool?" "You have to tell us." "TJ's never going back to school, ever." " Scandalous!" " What's so scandalous?" "OK, you're sort of a fellow kid." "You see, TJ..." " Detweiler's never coming back to school." " So what?" " l tried that lots of times." " But he's doing it for us." "Detweiler staying home in protest?" "I'll spread the news!" "Eveyone, TJ's staying home from school!" "Ooga-chooga!" "Big Chief no go to school!" "We go give him support!" "Morning, malcontents." "It's time to learn." "Today's math test has 500 questions, all word problems." "I hope you punks brought plenty of pencils!" "Where is eveyone?" "Gracious!" "Where did you come from?" " Is it true TJ isn't going to school?" " l got 3 to I that it is." "I'm afraid it is." "He won't leave his room." "So TJ's ditching school." "My first scoop as a fifth-grade informant!" " Settle down." "Order!" " Order?" "What do you mean?" "My students have gone AWOL." "It's anarchy!" " Mine, too!" " It's trippy!" " There are no students in school?" " Something terrible could happen." "Yeah, like me losing my job!" "Where are they?" "I know exactly where they are!" "It's me, Randall, bringing you the goods." "When I saw the kids leaving, I knew something big was up." " Where are they?" " At TJ's." " Detweiler!" " It's always him!" "TJ won't come to school and eveyone's supporting him." "It's a revolution." "Don't they involve executions?" " The best we'll get is Juvenile Hall." " That'll do!" "TJ!" "TJ!" "TJ!" "TJ, your protest has gathered momentum." " But you can't stay there indefinitely." " l got comic books and my political cause." " A thinking kid doesn't need any more." " Without food you'll shrink." "I raided the panty and stocked up." "I got enough food to last me a good long time." " But what about...?" " l got my own bathroom." " You thought of eveything!" " It's going according to plan." "What ne_?" "Prickly shows up." "I haven't seen a crowd like this since Woodstock." " What's the plan?" "Shall I call the cops?" " No!" "We have to keep this quiet." "I'll talk to Detweiler." "Shall we watch Detweiler from the car?" "No, Randall, let's savour this up close." "Zesty!" "Excuse me!" "Get out of the..." "You should be in class!" "TJ, as your principal, I order you out of your room now!" "As I quit school, you're not my principal." "I don't have to obey you." " Because of you, nobody's going to school." " Not my problem." " What do you want?" " First, a nice lunch in the cafeteria" " for evey kid in school." " Yeah!" "I want the kickball field back, the basketball hoops and Rusty!" "And lockers!" "Yeah!" "I know skipping school is wrong." "Studying and learning are good for me." "But the changes don't help." "They just make school a crummy place." "Just give us back the school we love." "If this is what it takes, I'll face the consequences." "Yeah!" "But I told you, the changes are Board of Ed policy!" "I can't change them!" "Then I can't come down." "That didn't go well..." "That didn't go well." " What's that?" " The cops." " The fuzz!" " Worse!" "It's the Board of Education!" "Officers McClellan and McDooley, Board of Education." " Why are you here?" " l hear you have a situation." "No, it's just a harmless boy who's locked himself in his room." "It's under control." " He's still up there." " Who told you about this?" " The BoE know eveything." " We're taking over." "This is now Board of Education jurisdiction." "The Board members are over there." "The Board members?" "Here?" "Now?" " What seems to be the problem?" " It's a kid who won't go to school." "I see." "Ladies, gentlemen, it's as serious as we feared." " Refusing to go to school is Code White." " Call it in." "Code White!" "Code White!" "Roger." "Code received." "Confirm." " Over and out." "Sir, we've got a Code White!" " Vey well." "Yes?" "I will eliminate the problem." "Kelly, I'm outside the house where T.K. Dudwaller is refusing to go to school." "He's upset about some new Board of Education policies." "Here are the State Board of Education and Milton Brown." "Mr Brown, are these new policies good for our students?" "The policies are good for children and good for schools." "We support them unanimously." "Absolutely!" "Neighbours say young T.K. was a strange child who always wore his red baseball cap." " TJ, you're on the news!" " Way to go, Teej!" " The people have heard you." " Your struggle is over." "Not yet, Mikey." "but the end has just begun." "The helicopter!" "That means only one thing." " Mr White!" " The enforcer of Board of Ed policy!" " TJ Detweiler." " Bring it on, Mr White." "Bring it on." "Mr White, how wonde_ul to see you." "Can I help?" "Prickly, you have failed." "You're irrelevant." "You, you, come with me." " Hello." "Who are you?" " Mr White, ma'am." "Board of Education." "We'd like a word with your son, Theodore." "No need." "My husband will be home in half an hour." "That's what I'd expect a loving parent like you to say." " It is?" " l agree with you." "It's so beneficial to a boy to communicate with his parents." "I've fond memories of sitting on Pappy's knee, talking." " Wonde_ul!" " Sadly, half an hour is too long to wait." "TJ is setting a bad example for those other children." "His disobedience will become ingrained in their brains and spread to other children, friends, e-mail buddies." "Disobedience leads to chaos, madness!" "Madness is bad for children, isn't it?" " l guess it is." " Let me help your child and all children." " That's what the Board of Education do." " OK." "He's upstairs." "Thank you." "Brew me some Darieeling tea." " l'm parched." " Is instant OK?" " Mr White." "Long time no see." " TJ Detweiler." "Full of it after defeating me on the whomps issue?" "I'm just tying to do what's right." "So don't ask me to come out." " l don't intend asking you to come out." " No?" "No, Principal Prickly already tried that." " l'm letting you stay as long as you want." " You are?" "But don't blame me if, in your absence, your friends start to find their lives becoming unpleasant." " What?" " Even if you don't go to school, your friends still will and I know the Board is considering a 12-hour school day, doubling homework, and putting liver in the nutrition paste." "I've fought them on this, but if I can't make you leave your room, who'll listen to me?" " That's a dirty trick!" " That's OK if it's used for a greater good." "You win. I'll unbarricade my door and come out." "I wonder if my tea's ready?" "That was quicker than I expected." "What in the...?" "That was a dirty trick!" " Where is he?" " The magpie has flown!" " He probably climbed out the window." " He's not there." "lmpossible." "If he's not there and not here, the only other place is the..." "There you are!" " Detweiler!" " l'm moving my protest to the roof." "Fine." "It's easy for me to get on the roof." "To the helicopter!" "Oh, yeah." "Oops!" "So much for principaling. I'll have to work on my brother's lobster boat in Alaska." " Help!" " Why should I help you, Detweiler?" "You're just dangling from the roof." "Dangling from the roof?" "Hang on, TJ!" " Let me through!" " What's happening?" " Where's TJ?" " Round here. I need a ladder." " l'm coming!" " Can't hold on much longer!" " Just one second." " Here's a ladder." "Hold it steady, kids." "We'll work together. I'll pull up on one hand while you pull up with the other." "Got it?" " Yes, sir." " One, two, three!" " Thanks, sir." " Are you out of your mind?" "You could have been killed up here." "It was dumb. I don't know what got into me." "This protest is out of hand." "You're in a lot of trouble." "Somebody had to look out for us kids." "Normally, I'd assume that was your lob." " Well..." " It's OK. I understand." "A grown-up's gotta make a living." "Buy cars and pants and houses." "But I can't let bad stuff happen to people I care about." "All I've got to lose is my self respect." "Prickly, you've captured him." "Bring him down and you'll get a promotion." " No, I cannot do that." " This is no time for games!" "Bring him down or lose your lob." "If keeping my job means obeying your policies, I don't want it any more." "I'd rather keep my self respect too." "He's standing up to people, risking his lob?" "It's the most inspiring thing!" "I'm with him!" "What?" "!" "I hate the new policy. I went along with it 'cause you liked it. I didn't wanna get fired." "I thought the plan was stupid." "Painting the playground!" "I didn't want to make waves." "I'm relieved you guys feel the same." "One moment." "You never liked the policy, I never liked it." "Some "experts" recommended it and we were too scared to oppose it." "I move that the new policy is no longer in effect." "All in favour?" " Aye!" " The ayes win." "School is back to normal!" "But you can't do that!" "That would mean that child has beaten me again!" "Yes, we get so caught up in our grown-up world we forget the little guy can make a difference." " Pool party at my place?" " Yeah!" " Well done, TJ - l couldn't have done it without you." "Things are back to normal." "We got our grass and hoops back." "They've almost finished putting back Rusty." " OK, kids!" " Yeah!" " Thanks, Teej, you saved us." " The joy of learning is back." " And fish-sticks, too!" " You got all you asked for." "OK, sneaky ne'er-do-wells!" "Class in five minutes." "So I expect you to prepare to stop having fun!" " Almost eveything." " Don't wory, Vince." "I think I can break her down." "A sardine and onion sandwich." "Nice ty, Detweiler, but you won't break me down." "Take out your pencils." "Time for another test." "Maybe you can't change Miss finster, but at school, stuff was changing all over." "for instance, last years kindergarteners moved up and had to act normal." " Gimme ball!" " My ball!" "My ball!" "Hector, Tubby, now you're first-graders, you must act like normal children." " May I have my ball back?" " Pretty please?" "Here you go." "Give it time." "Since King Bob moved on last year, we got a new king." "King freddie's still getting used to the job." "Your Highness, this boy called someone Gooberhead." "I decree that he be dragged across the playground by a team of third-graders, soaked in fruit juice then tied to the backstop till he mends his ways or until the Rollie-Pollies get him." " Huh?" " Sir, isn't that a bit harsh?" "OK." "Five minutes time out for being naughty." "Phew!" "But then a big change, a complete surprise." " Greetings, fellow fifth-graders." " What do you want?" " We're hanging out." " And doing a fine job." "I'm the king's new messenger." "He desires your presence." " We didn't do anything." " He has an announcement." "Hury, he doesn't like to be kept waiting." " An audience?" "Whatever for?" " Something good?" " Perhaps we're to be court musicians." " Better than that!" " We don't deserve anything good." " TJ does." " l do?" " You saved us from those crummy rules." "If I was king, I'd reward you." "I'd make you a knight!" " Think he might?" " It's logical." " What a gesture!" " Congratulations, Teej!" " Thanks, Vince." " Why are we waiting?" "Let's go." "Guard, why's this winger-dinger in my mouth?" " You requested a winger-dinger." " l requested a muncherific nut-nut bar." " Sory..." " It is I who is sory, for your sake." " This calls for severe punishment." " We have arr9ved." " Who's there?" " TJ and my friends." "I humbly accept the honour you are to give me." "Who is he and what's he babbling about?" "TJ Detweiler, he saved us from the Board of Education." "That old thing. I've ordered you here about an issue of actual importance." "Step back." "Your king approaches." "I formally e_end to you an invitation to join a secret fifth- and si_h-graders' club." " What's that?" " l never heard of it." "Of course not!" "Till now, you've been fourth-graders." "The secrets of the club were kept secret from you." " What's the club for?" " What's in it for us?" "This you may not know without taking the oath." "Guard, the oath!" "I, fifth- or si_h-grader, do hereby solemnly swear never to divulge the secrets of the secret club" " to anyone but a fifth- or si_h-grader." " OK." "If I do, the king will think of a bad punishment." "Excellent." "Glad you kids agree." "Follow me." "This doesn't seem much of a club house." "Stop thinking like a fourth-grader!" "Guards, any K-through-fours watching?" " Clear, sir." " Vey well." " Wow!" " That's what they all say." "Enter after me." " A secret passage!" " My kind of club!" "Me, too!" " Huh?" " Quickly, Gus, on your feet." " Check it out!" " The fifth- and si_h-graders' club!" " Whomp-a-dellic!" " Hi, newcomers." " Pull up a cushion." " Nobody said the Ashleys would be here!" "Bet no one told you we'd be here, neither." "You let Lawson in?" "What kind of club is this?" "We're all fifth- and si_h-graders here." " So?" " So in this club, we all get along." "No more "us guys" and "them guys"." "We're all "us guys"." "The girls are "us girls"." " And Randall?" " He's a snitch." "He's not a member." "Enjoy yourselves." "And keep it a secret from the little kids...or else!" "Vince, loin us in a game of "Crazy Eights"?" " Teej, wanna play?" " What are you playing for?" " Pretzels." "They're in the kitchen." " You got it!" "So I can hang out near you and you won't annoy me or be snobs?" "Of course not!" "We're all fifth- and si_h-graders." " They put up with me!" " l wouldn't in fourth grade." "But I don't read those dumb magazines so..." "Golly pulooka!" "It's "Slam-Down Sally, Queen of the Wrestling Trucker Chicks!"" " Only the best." " Move over, I'm coming in!" "Don't do that!" "Do this!" "Man, that was some fun!" " When I saw the look on..." " Little kids!" " Good, Gretch." " They'd spoil our fun." " l'm worried about spoiling more than that." " What?" "The club isn't just a place to have fun." "It's an experiment in niceness and equality." "For the first time, big kids hung out with me and didn't beat me up." "Gellman hugged me!" "The club is a rainbow hug of togetherness." "Sure, Mikey." "As long as there's snacks, I'm in!" " Let's go tomorrow." " You won't ask me twice." " The big kid life." " It's how it's meant to be." "Yet another recess." "Shall we go to the clubhouse?" " Of course." " OK with me." "Though, Gus, you might lay off the snacks." "In a week, you've packed on the pounds." "This?" "I guess that's club life for you." " Q says it makes me look distinguished." " l've never heard Lawson criticise Gus." " l'm not criticising, just noticing." " l am criticising." "Whenever we go, you hang out with them." " They're our friends." " Wanna play kickball?" " A game of kickball sounds good." " Vince, they're fourth-graders!" " What do you say, guys?" " Fresh air sounds good." " Cool!" " And me!" " You're on." "Meet you on the field." " You got it!" " Coming?" " You can't be serious." "Why hang out with little kids when we can be treated great by big kids?" " To the club, Gus?" " Yes, Mikey, to the club." " That's the funniest joke I've heard!" " l have another." " Why did the fourth-grader cross the road?" " Why?" "He sucked his thumb and lost control of his tricycle!" "There they are again with their new buddies." "It's not just the club, they lunch with them too!" " There's nothing wrong with that." " l guessed they'd be sick of 'em." " l'm getting sick of Gus and Mikey." " They are getting annoying." "It's nothing time with their old buddies won't fix." "Vince, let's talk to 'em." "So one first-grader says to the other," ""Duh, what do I know, I'm just a dumb first-grader!"" " Hi, guys." " Hello!" " Pull up two chairs." " Would Mikey and Gus like to eat with us?" " Thanks, but we're having fun here." " Yeah, you guys are always laughing." " What's funny?" " Eveyone but fifth- and si_h-graders." " They're pint size and don't know anything." " Pathetic." " l thought you liked little kids." " It's harmless fun." " What they don't know won't hurt 'em." " And they don't know nothing!" "Fellows, I'm done with my lunch." "Let's eat at the club." "Yes!" " Don't be strangers!" " See you at the club." "They've gone to the bad side." "We've lost 'em." "You may be right." "But maybe they're right." "One last time, we'll drop in at the club." "Morning, five and sixers!" "Visiting the steam room?" " Sory to drag you out before school." " Such is the fate for the king's locksmith." "I'll open the club." "Assuming no children are watching..." "Hello?" "!" "The entrance is already open!" " Only the king and I know the combination." " A break-in?" " l'll alert the king." " What do we do?" " Who's in there?" " A killer thief." " Go see." " OK." "It's just some finh-graders!" " What are you doing here?" " Just dropping by." " What a coincidence!" "So are we." " We invited some special guests." " They aren't fifth- or si_h-graders." " Hi, big kids!" " Nice place." " Are you mad?" "They're first-graders!" " You can't come in here!" " Why?" " You're a little kid." " This club is for big kids." " l don't understand." " You gotta explain things better." "So why can't they come in here?" "Mikey?" "Gus?" " Well, because..." " Because they..." " First-graders are babies." " They're stupid." " No manners." " Smell like cat food." " Wait a minute." " No!" "I've worked to be a big kid." "They'll ruin it." " You can't say such things in front of them." " You've been saying stuff all along." "Are you big kids or not?" "I am a big kid, but I've been a vey bad one." "We've been ierks." "What's going on?" "Detweiler let these first-graders into our clubhouse." "This is a betrayal of eveything this club stands for." "I will think up the most severe punishment!" " You'll have to punish me too." " And me." "We deserve it." "Hector, Tubby, we're vey, vey, sory." " Then I shall punish you all!" " No, Freddie, you shall not." " King Bob!" " You're seventh grade now." "I am, but Detweiler asked for my help." " l let them in ahead ofyou." " But why do such a thing?" " Surely..." " l've heard some disturbing things." "This club has become intolerant towards little kids." "What do I care?" "You don't go here no more." "No, but when you move to seventh grade, I'll be an eighth-grader waiting for you." " Then you'll see what's wrong." " Oh." " Hector, Tubby, please forgive me." " l don't know what got into us." "This place is cool." "I see why you hung around." "If you hang around with people just like you, you forget how others feel." " You start thinking you're better than them." " Well spoken." "Your speaking abilities have not declined." "Freddie, make sure ALL kids are treated fairly." "There will always be kids bigger than you who consider YOU a little kid." "Nevertheless, Detweiler's broken the rules." "They're to be covered in lard and cooked in the cafeteria." " Isn't that a bit harsh?" " OK." "They're kicked out of this club." " OK with me." " Us, too!" "Ha, ha." "Hey, Dumbweiler!" "That's right, I'm talking to you and all your friends too, you bunch of losers." "We'll play you at kickball and prove what a bunch of losers you really are!" " l say you're on!" " Yeah!" "And it's great things are back to normal." "Things did seem back to normal." "Week a_er week went by." "September became October." "Gus lost all that weight." "Aghhh!" "But the school year had one more surprise in store." "Which brings me back to where l began." "Believe it or not, this year Halloween came close to being the worst night ever." "It's hideous, terrifying!" "And just what I'm looking for!" "Gus Griswald is Garnuf the Bulbous!" "After school I'm buying it." " Good choice." " Wicked." "Unfortunately, that girl seems to think so too." "No, Mr Kelso, you can't sell that!" "It's the last one in the store!" " Happy Halloween, Gus!" " Now what'll I do?" "There's 12 hours till the start of Trick or Treat." " l bet you have a great costume." " What are you going as?" "With respect to Garnuf, who doesn't exist, I'm going as the real scariest thing - a flesh-eating zombie!" "Zombie?" "So old school." "Scay is grave-robbing ghoul." "Talk about old school!" "What exactly is the difference between a zombie and a ghoul?" "You'll see." "The zombie's the scay one." "He'll be the one getting scared by the ghoul." "No one will be as frightening as Spinelli." "Spinelli always has the best costume." "Last year she was a mutant, shooting pus." "A tasty concoction." "Cheese and pistachio." "Yeah, she was scay." "She raked in the candy!" " No one has the Halloween spirit like her." " Where is she?" "Probably making fake blood." "She'll catch up." " Spinelli?" " Hey, guys." " How come you're in class before the bell?" " Early to bed, early to rise." "Quiet down, you miscreants." "Happy Halloween. I've prepared a special treat." "Jam cupcakes with prune icing." "Don't be greedy." "Er, Miss Finster, thanks for the cupcakes." "How come you're dressed as a mosquito?" "I'm not a mosquito!" "I'm a faiy princess!" "What a surprise!" "I'm a faiy prince." "I had no idea we'd match." "Isn't it great?" "Randall, this is one day when you don't get points for kissing up." "OK, phase two of our classroom fun - who'll lead us singing "Sweet-toothed Igor"?" "Spinelli, you're a big fan." "Start singing!" " Thanks, but no thanks, Miss Finster." " Pick us!" "Pick us!" " We're such better singers." " OK, front centre." "After, we'll bob for pickles." "Then a spelling test." "Igor the sweet-toothed vampire bat" "Had vey, vey, pointy fangs" "And if he ever landed on you" "You mightjump and shout all day" "But don't be scared of Igor" "'Cause if you wanna know the truth" "He never bites us humans" "'Cause he's got a vey, vey sweet tooth" "Got it. I'll dress up as Zool, armoured ogre of doom." "No other kid will dress as Zool." "Out of my way, please." "Don't mess with Zool." " It's OK, Gus, you'll think of something." " Know what I'm thinking?" "We're all having a Halloween mystey lunch but Spinelli's got a bag lunch from home." " That's weird." " The mystey lunch is a high point of today." " Mysterious!" " Not as mysterious as Spinelli." " Hi, Spinelli." " May we sit with you?" " It's the season of togetherness." " Sure." "I'm a little worried about you." "You didn't walk with us this morning or sing in class and you're not eating lunch." "Are you wearing a Spinelli costume but aren't Spinelli?" " Gellman, come out of there!" " It's me. I've just changed, that's all." " What do you mean?" " l didn't want to bother you 'cause I don't want to spoil your Halloween." "That, Spinelli, is impossible." "Continue." "It all happened yesterday at the pumpkin patch." "It started out like evey other trip to the pumpkin patch." " l was looking forward to it." " The pumpkin patch." "It hasn't changed since we brought you here as a baby." "I'll pick out the freakiest pumpkin I can find!" "Too round." "Too cute." "Too pretty." "Too smooth." "Pe_ect!" "You are gonna make the ugliest, scariest, creepiest jack-o'-lantern on the block!" "Jack-o'-lantern?" "Well, well." "Spinelli's gonna make a widdle-bitty jack-o'-lantern!" " Whadaya know?" " Beat it, Lawson!" "And so what?" "You guys got pumpkins too!" "We ain't carving 'em." "We're gonna bust 'em open." " l got a brick." " Are you going Trick or Treating?" " Course!" " That's hilarious." "You're a fifth-grader." "Soon you'll be si_h grade, like us, then eighth grade." " So?" " Halloween is for babies." "You're the oldest kid here, except for us." "Pumpkin!" "Spinelli's a fifth-grade baby!" "When you gonna stop Trick or Treating?" " None of your business, Lawson." "Beat it!" " We'll beat it." "Yes, we'll beat it." "Come on!" " Stupid goonballs!" " Sweetie, you've got a pumpkin." "That's a beauty." "Not really, but good lob." " Thanks." "Can we go?" " We just got here!" "You always make a candy apple witch." "I kinda don't feel like it." "Let's buy the pumpkin and go." "Not before I get a picture of you sitting on a pumpkin." "I've done that since you were a baby." "Smile, sweetie!" "Good girl!" "That'll make an adorable picture." "OK, sweetie, your turn." "Smile and say "Spooky!"" "Spook...y." "Baby, I'm so sory!" "You're too big to sit on the pumpkin." "Pookie, you really must be growing up." "There you have it." "For the first time ever, Lawson was right. I'm too big for Halloween." "You can't give up Halloween 'cause of a defective pumpkin!" "It's not the pumpkin, it's me." "I'm just not into it." " You will be when you put on your costume." " And when we get a Trick or Treat." " Yeah!" " l don't want to talk about this." "I don't have a costume." "Make your plans." "My Trick or Treat days are over." "We len a number where you can reach us." "Did I say there's more candy in the panty?" " About 100 times." " Sure you won't go Trick or Treating?" " For the 200th time, I'm sure." " That's it, then." "Put this on when you answer the door." "Kids'll love it!" "I'm not wearing a mask. I'm too old." " l'm telling you, it's a hoot." " Whatever." " We'll be back by ten." " Happy Halloween!" "Thanks." "Finally, a little peace and quiet." "Now, "The four Numbskulls Meet the Vampire's Ghost"." "You never get too old for this!" "The tots are arriving already." "Hi, guys, nice costumes." "Toilet paper, Gus?" "I guess you came for some candy." "Take it." " We came for you." " l said I'm not Trick or Treating." " But it's the witching hour!" " Surely now you can't resist?" "I've outgrown Halloween." "Once you've outgrown something, you can't unoutgrow it." "You're thinking about the pumpkin patch." "You should think about the great times we've had on Halloween night." "Here you go, children!" "Happy Halloween!" "Happy Halloween!" "Candy, s_ned into our bags." "And the thrills and chills, like McPherson's." "Walking through a graveyard!" "And the creep with the candy." "I don't think McPherson knows he's there." "What terrifies me is walking by the old prison, knowing there's an unreformed felon inside watching you." " Nothing compares to the Gordons'." " Right." "Nothing compares to the Gordon place." "The terrifying end to a terrifying evening." "To this day, I swear those people are vampires." "Like some candy?" "It's the finest candy." "You'll enioy it." "Transylvanian accents are a give-away." "Those aren't Transylvanian accents." "The Gordons are from Massachusetts." " Where's Massachusetts?" " Someplace scay." "Thanks for sharing the memories." "But if you want fun tonight, get going." " Please join us." " All that Halloween stuff that seemed great, I look at it differently now." "The magic's gone." "It's something that happens when you get older. I'll see you tomorrow." " We're as old as her." " l don't see things differently." " Me neither." " Forget it, guys." "Come on." "Let's go." " Trick or treat!" " What adorable costumes." "Here, children." "Happy Halloween!" "Happy Halloween!" "Thanks!" "I don't care what Spinelli says." " Nothing can ruin this moment." " You said it!" "Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but this candy is sugarless!" " What?" " Say it ain't so!" "Course it is. I always give out sugarless candy. I am a dentist, after all." "Happy Halloween." "Remember to brush and floss!" "I know you will." "Sugarless candy?" "What a fiendish trick!" "I'm usually too excited to read the fine print on my candy." "There's more fun in store beside the Adelmans'." " Trick or treat?" " Hi, Digger Sam and Digger Dave." " How did you know it was us?" " A wild guess." "Have some candy." " You could at least pretend to be scared." " It's Halloween." "Where's your spirit?" " l grew out of it." " Not us." "There are little kids coming." " They can skip you if you're a grump." " No, I'll ty and act more into it, OK?" "Well, OK." " Trick or treat!" " My, what's this?" "Vey scay costumes!" "We're not supposed to be scay." "I'm an astronaut." " l'm a ballerina!" " l'm a wedge of cheese." "Sory. I guess what I meant to say was," "Ooga-booga!" "I'm the scay one." "Have some candy." "Thanks, lady, that was great!" "Happy Halloween!" "Happy Halloween." "The old McPherson place." "Halloween at its creepiest." "Walking through a graveyard?" "Get outta here!" "The creep with the candy." " Here we go." " What would Spinelli say about this?" "She'd say don't run when the guy grabs us." "Like we shouldn't be scared ." "We should resist running, to tell her how much more terrifying it is." "If you're up for it, I am." "Ready to grab." "One, two, three!" "Great!" "You broke my ghoul dummy!" " l'll have to patch him with chicken wire." " Sory." "You should be." "The little kids who believe in ghouls will be disappointed now." " We should have run after all." " Look!" "With the light on, they don't look real." " They're plmood." " Just like Spinelli said." "Look at things in a new way, it stops the magic." "Forget it, guys, it doesn't mean anything." "I know a place that'll really scare us." "How's that?" "When you growl, you growl from your guts, OK?" " Gotcha." " One other thing." " Always wear fake blood." " Thanks, Spinelli." "Happy Halloween!" " Spinelli, Happy Halloween!" " Miss Finster, you scared me!" " That's the idea." " Weren't you a faiy princess?" " Only till moonrise." "Are your folks here?" " They're out." "I was gonna invite them to a spooky shindig." " How come you're not Trick or Treating?" " l think I'm too old for that." "You do?" "Well, I've a party to go to." "Here's my number if your folks get back early." " OK, Miss Finster." "Have fun." " Oh, I will!" " Miss Finster, wait!" " Yes?" "There's something I want to ask you about Halloween." "OK, Halloween hasn't been too great so far." "The old prison will make up for it." " It looks frightening." " My neck just tinkled." " "Tingled", Gus, and mine did too." " This is when we usually take off." " My neck's stopped tinkling." " "Tingling", Gus." "And mine." " Why aren't I scared?" " 'Cause it ain't scay, dopes!" "Don't tell me you wittle Trick or Treaters still think that's an old prison?" " Sure." "That's what it is." " What's it to you?" "Nothing, except you're wrong." "Carrillo." "If you'd run away as usual, you wouldn't know it's the Department of Motor Vehicles." "The DoV is a vey boring office building." "That's right!" "Come on, guys, Iet's go bug some other little kids!" " The Department of Motor Vehicles?" "!" " Nothing tonight has been scay or fun." " Alas, the magic truly has gone." " Maybe Spinelli's right." "Maybe we're too old for Halloween too." "I figured I was too old for Halloween." "But staying home while eveyone's having fun, it's not right, I want to be there with them." " Why weren't you?" "Halloween is great." " When you're little." "I'm in my prime and I love Halloween!" " Won't you ever grow out of it?" " Some do, some don't." " It's how you feel inside." " l don't know what to think." "I think you do." "Trust yourself, Spinelli." "Tough gals like us never let others tell us how to feel." "Gotta go." "Late for my party." "Get your folks to give me a call." "Happy Halloween, however you spend it." "Thanks, Miss Finster. I will!" " Have you seen TJ and the guys?" " Like, not me." " Upside-down girl?" " Haven't seen a thing." " Looking for TJ?" " Have you seen him?" " They were heading home." " Already?" "They were saying they're too old for Halloween." "Oh, no!" "I ruined it for 'em." "Now what can I do?" "Wait." "Let me use your cell phone." "I have calls to make." "If you're planning a shady conspiracy, don't implicate me!" "So here we are at the Gordon place." " Why did you ask us to meet you here?" " l was thinking." "As we're all so grown-up, why not visit the joint?" "We come here evey year." "Nothing else has met our expectations." "Why should this?" "Other years, the Gordons lived here." "But they've moved." "Now, no one lives here." " So?" " How about we pay a visit to the inside?" "!" "Inside?" "Of the Gordon house...?" "Yeah!" "Come on, unless you're too scared?" " That's what I figured." " This is dumb." "If we're too old for Trick or Treat, we're old enough to visit an old house." "OK!" "TJ's developed adolescent powers of magic." "I didn't do it." "The door opened by itself." " Unless a ghost opened it." " A ghost?" " Big kids don't believe in ghosts." " Yeah." "I'm sure there's a rational explanation we can ponder from home." "If we're gonna be big, we gotta go inside." "Right." "We're not scared." "We're going in." " The door's locked!" " It's the ghost!" " We don't believe in ghosts." " This is creepier than I thought." " Sory about this." " Should we call the authorities?" "Quick!" "Call the DMV!" " Did you hear that?" " Was it your stomach, Mikey?" "I don't think so." " That definitely wasn't!" " The sound's coming from there." "This is all my fault, guys." "I better check it out." " Are you nuts?" " It might be our only way out." " It's a cellar. I'm going down." " No!" "Spinelli!" " Gotcha!" " Miss Finster?" " l never thought I'd be happy to see you!" " You should have seen your face!" " Hey, kids." " Those were far-out screams." " l don't get it." " Why are you all here?" "We rented out this place for a party." "Spinelli called me to help pull this trick." " Spinelli?" " Right!" "I set you up, guys." " Why would you be so cruel?" " 'Cause it's fun!" "Now I know I'm safe, it was rather thrilling." "Like Halloween in the good old days." "These are the good old days as long as you want." " Don't let any goombah tell you othemise." " Thanks." "Now you've had your trick, here's your treat." "Wait, it's not sugarless, is it?" "Nope, it's the real stuff!" "Well, it looks like your plan worked." "Thanks to you, eveyone's having a happy Halloween." "Like my mother always said..." "So it turned out OK aner all, for us anyway." "And it seems like things usually do turn out OK." "Being a kid is tricky." "Growing up, things changing..." "What happened to my voice?" "But no matter how much things change, as long as we stay true to ourselves, eveything will be all right." "Seeing we've made it so far already, I feel this might be our best year yet." "Really, I mean it." "Igor the sweet-toothed vampire bat" "Had vey, vey pointy fangs" "And if he ever landed on you" "You mightjump and shout all day" "But don't be scared of Igor" "'Cause if you wanna know the truth" "He never bites us humans" "'Cause he's got a vey, vey sweet tooth"