"# When you see a guy Reach for stars in the sky" "# You can bet That he's doin' it for some doll" "# When you spot a John Waiting out in the rain" "# Chances are he's insane As only a John can be for a Jane" "# When you meet a Gent Paying all kinds of rent" "# For a flat That could flatten the Taj Mahal" "# Call it sad, call it funny But it's better than even money" "# That the guy's only doin' it for some doll. #" "# Your eyes are the eyes" "# Of a woman in love" "# And, oh, how they give you away" "# Why try to deny" "# You're a woman in love" "# When I know very well" "# What I say... #" "HE WHISTLES" "TYRES SCREECH" "HE BLOWS WHISTLE" "BUGLE PLAYS FANFARE" "# I got the horse right here The name is Paul Revere" "# And here's a guy that says If the weather's clear" "# Can do Can do" "# This guy says the horse can do" "# If he says the horse can do" "# Can do Can do" "# I'm pickin' valentine" "# Cos on the mornin' line The guy has got him figured" "# At five-to-nine" "# But make it epitaph He wins it by a half" "# According to this here In the telegraph" "# For Paul Revere, I'll bite I hear his foot's all right" "# Of course it all depends If it rained last night" "# I know it's valentine The morning work looked fine" "# You know, the jockey's brother's A friend of mine" "# And just a minute, boys I got the feedbox noise" "# It says the great-grandfather Was equipoise" "# I tell you, Paul Revere Now this is no bum steer" "# It's from a handicapper That's real sincere" "# I'm pickin' valentine Cos on the mornin' line" "# The guy has got him figured At five-to-nine" "# So make it epitaph He wins it by a half" "# According to this here In the telegraph" " # Epitaph" " Valentine" " Paul Revere" "ALL: # I got the horse" "ALL: # Right" "ALL: # Here!" "#" "BUGLE PLAYS FANFARE" "Extra!" "Read all about it!" "# Follow the fold and stray no more" "# Stray no more" "# Stray no more" "# Put down the bottle and we'll say no more" "# Follow, follow the fold" "# Before you take another swallow" "# Follow the fold and stray no more" "# Stray no more" "# Stray no more" "# Tear up your poker deck and play no more" "# Follow, follow the fold. #" "Friends, my name is Sarah Brown." "This is no place to make a speech, and I won't try." "You don't want to be told how unhappy you are or about the emptiness of your lives." "You who drink too much, you who gamble at cards, dice, and horse racing, let us help you not to lose your hard-earned money in gambling dens and bookie joints." "This doll has captured my attention." "Let us give you the strength to stop your drinking, your gambling." "She has lost me." "Let us welcome you to the save-a-soul mission." "Come to me!" "Come to me!" "Folks, you're going to call me a liar, think I ain't telling' the truth because today I'm giving away solid gold watches for 1.00 each." "That's right, my friends, a solid gold watch for one buck." "All that glitters is not gold." "More to be desired are the judgments of heaven." " Gold is not enough." " You say it's not enough?" "Today only I'll include a nailbrush with a solid ivory top and a built-in, genuine magnetic compass." "There you are." "When you're brushing your nails, do you wonder where you're going?" "Which way is north, east, south, west?" "Which way are you going - down, down, down, or up to salvation?" "Find out at the mission absolutely free." "The nailbrush absolutely free!" "Don't crowd." "Don't push." "There's plenty of room for everybody." "There's room for everybody in the kingdom of heaven, too." "Now, folks, I don't care whether you buy or not." "Let's pack up." "Did you notice this time a lot of them stayed till you were almost halfway through?" "If we could only sell salvation for a buck - solid gold with an ivory top and a built-in compass." "Sarah, you don't suppose those watches could really be solid gold?" "Uncle Arvide, don't you dare." "That's right, my friends, a solid gold watch for one buck!" "Harry the horse!" "Benny Southstreet." "Since when do you yell out the name of a person in the open air, which is full of police?" "It was a friendly impulse." "I lost my head." "If I do not like you so much, this would now be a fact." "You know Nicely-Nicely Johnson." "Of course." "How goes everything?" "Nicely-nicely, thank you." "I have been waiting to hear from Nathan Detroit what will be the location of his crap game." "We don't know yet." "Nathan's been looking around." "But as you know, he's very hard to please." "Confidentially, the heat is on very hot." " And it is making Nathan sweat." " That's too bad." "I would dislike to take my trade elsewhere, but I'm loaded and looking for action." "I've just acquired 5,000 fish." "5,000?" "If it can be told, where did you take on" " this fine bundle of lettuce?" " I have nothing to hide." "I collected the reward on my father." "It is an advantage to have a successful father." "Nobody wanted my old man for as much as 500." "I'm worried about Nathan." "Harry's not the only one." "There's a lot of loose money around." "Everybody's looking for some action." " If Nathan doesn't find a place..." " SHOP BELL JINGLES" "Why, Lieutenant Brannigan." "Mr Southstreet, it is Lieutenant Brannigan of the New York City police department." "Have either of you seen Nathan Detroit?" "Which Nathan Detroit is that?" "Your boss Nathan Detroit." "The Nathan Detroit who runs a floating crap game." " Floating crap game?" " On a boat?" "A crap game that moves to different spots so the police can't find it." "Sounds difficult to do." "You should know since it's your job to rustle up the customers and tell 'em where it is." "Especially with a famous detective like you putting on the heat." "You can give just that message to Detroit." "Tell him Brannigan says he's not finding a spot for his crap game because everybody knows Brannigan's put on the heat, and Brannigan's breathing down everybody's neck." "Nathan, you're lucky." "You just missed Brannigan." "I'm lucky." "I just missed Brannigan." "He left a message." "He said to tell you..." "I am not going to find a place for my crap game, because everybody knows" "Brannigan's turned on the heat." "Brannigan's breathing down everybody's neck." "That's what he said." "Won't any of the regular places take a chance," " seeing it's you?" " Seeing it's me, no." "Except one." "Joey Biltmore's garage." "Joey said he might take a chance...for 1,000." " 1,000!" " In advance and in cash." "He would not even take my marker." "This I do not believe!" "Joey Biltmore will not take your marker." "This Brannigan has some breath." "A marker's not just a paper saying "I owe you 1,000, Nathan Detroit."" "A marker is the one pledge a guy cannot Welsh on." "Never." "It's like not saluting the flag." "It does not seem possible - me without a livelihood." "I've been running the crap game since I was a juvenile delinquent." "But, Nathan, the situation's desperate." "You have got to think of something." "My only thought costs 1,000." "I cannot even afford to think." "I'm broke." "I'm so broke I couldn't even buy a present for Adelaide." "Is it her birthday?" "It is mine and Adelaide's 14th anniversary." "We are engaged 14 years today." "Nathan, you must concentrate on a game." "The town's up to here with high players." "The Greek's in town." " Brandy Bottle-base." " Scranton slim." " I know." "I know." "I could make a fortune, but to make a fortune, I need a fortune." "1,000 bucks." "Where do I get it?" "# The Biltmore garage wants a grand" "# But we ain't got a grand on hand" "# And they now have a lock on the door" "# To the gym at public school 84" "# There's the stockroom behind McCloskey's bar" "# But Mrs McCloskey ain't a good scout" "# And things bein' how they are" "# The back of the police station is out" "BOTH: # So the Biltmore garage is the spot" "# But the 1,000 bucks we ain't got" "# Why, it's good old reliable Nathan" "# Nathan, Nathan Nathan Detroit" "# If you're lookin' for action He'll furnish the spot" "# Even when the heat is on It's never too hot" "# Not for good old reliable Nathan" "# For it's always just a short walk" "# To the oldest established Permanent floating" "# Crap game in New York" "# There are well-heeled shooters Everywhere, everywhere" "# There are well-heeled shooters everywhere" "# And an awful lot of lettuce" "# For the fella who can get us there" "# If we only had a lousy little grand" "# We could be a millionaire" "# That's good old reliable Nathan" "# Nathan, Nathan Nathan Detroit" "# If the size of your bundle You want to increase" "# I'll arrange that you go broke In quiet and peace" "# In a hideout provided by Nathan" "# Where there are no neighbours to squawk" "# It's the oldest established Permanent floating" "# Crap game in New York" "# Where's the action?" "Where's the game?" "# Gotta have the game or we'll die from shame" "# It's the oldest established" "# Permanent floating" "# Crap game" "# In" "# New York!" "#" "Gentlemen, I am deeply touched by your faith and loyalty." "Gentlemen, do not worry." "Nathan Detroit's crap game will float again." "Nathan, guess who's sitting in Mindy's" " eating a steak breakfast." " Hitler." "Wrong." "Sky Masterson." "Sky Masterson's in town." "This should be the greatest crap game of your career." "Where will it be?" "City hall." "Mayor's office." " What time?" " We will leave you know, Angie." "Sky Masterson, the highest player of them all." "What a spot I'm in." "He bets higher than the Greek?" "Why do you think they call him Sky?" "Once, with my own eyes, I saw him bet 5,000 bucks that one raindrop would beat another down the window." "Another time he was sick, and he would not take penicillin." "He bet his fever would go to 104." "Did he win?" "He got lucky." "It went to 106." "So why don't I bet him?" "Why not bet him 1,000 on something?" "Max, what's the matter, no Danish today?" "It's a holiday in Denmark, how do I know?" "All these years, you've brought me Danish." "We ain't got Danish today." "Today I'm bringing you cheesecake." "You want strudel instead?" "I don't like strudel." "So eat the cheesecake." "Live it up a little." "I do not understand you." "Everybody's crazy about Mindy's cheesecake and strudel." " They must sell thousands." " That's just it." "Everybody's on cheesecake and strudel." "Makes me feel like I'm playing a favourite." "Playing the favourite..." "Nicely, Benny..." "I want you to go into the kitchen and find out exactly how many pieces of cheesecake they sold yesterday." "Also, how many pieces of strudel." "How much cheesecake?" "How much strudel?" "Why do you want to know?" "I'm investigating for the FBI." "Go!" "Brannigan!" "Stop breathing down my neck." " Why, Nathan." " Adelaide." "Doll." "How could you think I was Lieutenant Brannigan?" "We don't even use the same perfume." "I was kind of daydreaming, I guess." "I don't dream about detectives, even in the daytime." "Do you know what I dream about?" "You." "And your career as a businessman in a normal business, and our career together as a normal husband and wife." " Ah-choo!" " Gesundheit!" " Thank you." "Your cold is not getting better." "It comes and goes." "It's just a chronic condition." "Even if it is, it sure hangs on." "Nathan." "Speaking of chronic conditions..." "Happy Anniversary." "Guess what's inside." " 1,000 bucks?" " I only wish it was." "Go on, open it up." ""Mr Nathan Detroit, General Manager."" " General Manager of what?" " Whatever you set your mind on." "I have faith." "Adelaide, I..." "I do not have a present for you." "I don't mind if you don't give me a present." "It makes me feel like we were married." "There isn't anything I couldn't do without, as long as you don't start running that crap game again." "Crap game?" "Adelaide, didn't I promise you?" " 1,200 cheesecake, 1,500 strudel." " What?" "Yesterday Mindy's sold 1,200 cheesecake and 1,500 strudel." " More strudel." "Are you sure?" " Straight from the baker's mouth." "What's this all about?" "Statistics." "Things a businessman has to have at his fingertips." " Hey, any news yet?" " I will leave you know." "I'm getting impatient, Detroit." " And what was that about?" " His wife's having a baby." " But why is he asking you?" " He's nervous." "It's his first wife." "I'm expecting a fellow on an important business conference." "Are you trying to get rid of me?" " No, doll, just this fella does big business." " Supermarkets?" "Super super." "With him, business is business." "Dolls make him nervous." "Besides, you're late for your rehearsal." "Nicely, you and Benny take Adelaide by cab." "It's only a couple blocks." "The streets are covered with tourists." "I do not want you molested." "Nathan, darling, you are the most thoughtful man that ever lived." " But who's paying for the cab?" " I am, of course." "Sky Masterson." " Detroit." " Is it really you?" "How goes your percentage of life?" " Not bad." "And you?" " Healthy at the moment." "Sit." "Relax." "Talk." "Maybe you're in a hurry." "My daddy always said there's only one time to hurry - when the cops are coming up the stairs." "How about some coffee?" "Maybe a piece of cheesecake?" "No, thanks." "I'm pleased to hear things go well." "From communiques received in Las Vegas, we understood Brannigan was corking up the town." "Ah, who worries about Brannigan?" "How was Vegas?" "Paradise for two weeks." "For two weeks I gambled in green pastures... the dice were my cousins, and the dolls were agreeable, with nice teeth and no last names." "Sure I cannot offer you cheesecake or maybe strudel?" "No, thanks." "I just ate." "How long will you be in town?" "Only for tonight." "Tomorrow I fly to Havana." "Sky." "Don't think I am a pest, but eat this last bite of cheesecake." "Honestly, I couldn't swallow a mouthful." " How is Adelaide?" " Fine, fine." "I suppose one day you'll be getting married." " We all got to go sometime." " But we can fight it." "The companionship of a doll is a pleasant thing even for a period running into months." "But for a lifelong relationship, no doll can replace aces back to back." "Still, you'll admit Mindy's cheesecake is the greatest cheesecake alive." "Gladly." "Furthermore, I'm quite partial to Mindy's cheesecake." "And although you might disagree, many people prefer Mindy's strudel." "Do you disagree?" "It is my understanding that the United States constitution allows everybody their free choice between cheesecake and strudel." "I would be interested to hear... offhand, would you say that Mindy's sells more cheesecake or more strudel?" "Going strictly by my personal preference," "I'd say more cheesecake than strudel." "For how much?" " What?" " For how much?" "Why, Nathan, you never lay money on the line." "You always take your bite off the top." "1,000 bucks says yesterday Mindy's sold more strudel than cheesecake." "Nathan, let me tell you a story." "Have we got a bet?" "On the day I left home to make my way in the world, my daddy took me to one side." ""Son," my daddy says to me," ""I'm sorry I'm not able to bankroll you" ""to a very large start." ""But not able to get you rolling," ""instead, I'll stake you to some valuable advice." ""One day in your travels," ""a guy will show you a brand-new deck of cards" ""on which the seal is not yet broken." ""Then he'll offer to bet you" ""that he can make the Jack of spades" ""jump out and squirt cider on your ear." ""Son, you do not accept this bet," ""because as sure as you stand there" ""you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider."" "Now, I do not suggest you've been clocking Mindy's cheesecake." "Would I do such a thing?" "However, if you're really looking for action," "I will bet you the same 1,000 you cannot name the colour tie you have on." "Have we got a bet?" "No bet." "Polka dots." "In the whole world, nobody but Nathan Detroit could blow 1,000 bucks on polka dots." " Hi, Sky." " How goes it, Sky?" "Healthy at the moment." "And with you, Nicely?" "Nicely-nicely, thanks." "Nathan?" "What's wrong?" "You look sick." "A temporary disorder." "The cheesecake backed up on him." "Maybe that's why they said they sell more strudel." "Adelaide gave us a message." "Pick her up after the show and don't be late." "Yes, dear." "I mean OK" ""Yes, dear"?" "This is husband talk." "Nathan, you are trapped." "Adelaide is the kind of doll" " most difficult to unload." " I don't want to unload her." "I love her." "If a guy does not have a doll, who would holler on him?" "A doll is a necessity." "I'm not knocking dolls." "They're something to have around when they come in handy, like cough drops." "What proves me right is that dolls are available all over the place." "Not dolls like Adelaide." "Nathan, nothing personal, and no offence, but, figuring weight for age, all dolls are the same." "All dolls are the same?" "As far as the eye can see." "It seems a doll would come in handy on a trip to Havana." "How come you ain't got one?" "How come you're going alone?" "A matter of choice." "If I wish to take a doll, the supply is more than Woolworth has beads." " Not high-class dolls." " There's only one class - indivisible, interchangeable." "A doll is a doll." "All dolls." "Any doll." "You name her." "Any doll?" "Would you bet 1,000 bucks that if I name a doll, you can take her to Havana?" "You've got yourself a bet." "MISSION BAND PLAYS" "I name her." " Her?" " Sergeant Sarah Brown." "Daddy..." "I got cider in my ear." "It is my fault, you know." "It's not the mission, it's me." "I can't do the job that has to be done." "I'm a failure." "I'd be doing the right thing if I resigned and went home to Boston." "Sarah." "Should you be able to bend a solid gold watch?" " Of course not." " That's what I thought." "Why do you want to go home, because Boston has no sinners?" "What have I accomplished here?" "Surrounded by depraved characters and after months of work," " an empty mission." " I'm ashamed of you." "Just because the riffraff of Broadway didn't break down that door the minute they heard you ran this mission." "These aren't small-town delinquents who drink too much saturday night." "These are the devil's first-string troops, an army of devil's disciples." "TAP TAP" "Do you take sinners here?" "At any time of day or night, son." "Come right in." " Coffee and a doughnut?" " Just coffee, thanks." "I'm not here because I'm hungry... not for food, that is." ""Blessed are they which do hunger after righteousness."" ""Hunger and thirst after righteousness." Yes, sir, that's it." "My name's Arvide Abernathy." "The young lady is Sergeant Sarah Brown." " To you, brother Arvide and sister Sarah." " How do you do?" "Brother Sky." "Hello, sister Sarah." " Is that your name?" "Sky?" " Sky Masterson." "What is it that troubles you, Mr Masterson?" " Brother sky." " I gather you're not in need of money." "I'm healthy at the moment." "It can change." "Are only the unhappy poor welcome here?" "What are you unhappy about, Son?" "Ahem." "Gambling." "Well, apparently you are a successful gambler." "Is it wrong to gamble or only to lose?" "I better come back when I'm broke." "Oh, please don't misunderstand." "It's just unusual for a successful sinner to be unhappy about sin." "Besides, my unhappiness appeared suddenly." "Maybe it'll go away." "We can keep you unhappy." "Give us a chance." "You don't look like a gambler." "What made you take it up?" "Evil companions." "Evil companions who are always offering sucker bets." "What is a sucker bet?" "A bet that's reserved for suckers." "For a gambler, getting sucked in is most humiliating, but losing means you're marked as a chump." " So you must win these bets." " Is that so terrible, being marked as a chump?" "Among my people, being a chump is like losing your citizenship." "A chump is an outsider, a yokel who'll buy anything varnished." " Like a solid gold watch for 1.00?" " This is a real chump." "I'll get some rest before we go out again." "Brother Sky, I'm glad you found us." "Stay and talk to sister Sarah." "Whatever your problems are, she'll have the answer." " I hope so." " I know so." "If there's one thing sister Sarah never fails in, it's solving other people's problems." "What did he mean by that?" "The way he said it - you never fail" " solving other people's problems." " Haven't we changed places, Mr Masterson?" "Brother Sky." "Why can't you call me brother Sky?" "Brother Sky." "Aren't we discussing your problems?" "Maybe nonsinners also have problems." "If you're sincerely interested in giving up gambling, Mr..." "Brother Sky, reading these pamphlets will help you." "Daddy always said reading pamphlets never made anybody give up anything." "I had a more personal help in mind." "We're having a midnight prayer meeting thursday." "Thursday's the day after tomorrow." "Who's going to help me between now and then?" "Well, our doors are always open." "Come in anytime." "You know what I think, sister Sarah?" "I think you not only don't want to help me," " but for some reason, you're against me." " I'm afraid that's true." "I don't trust you, Mr Masterson." " Brother Sky." " Mr Masterson." "You don't believe I'm a sinner." "I prepared to believe you're the biggest sinner I've met." "But you don't believe I want to repent." "Is that it?" "All of a sudden you want a cup of coffee." "Did it ever occur to you some people could be all repentance and no sin?" "I may start a chain of missions to help your kind." ""Come all ye repenters." ""et us bring a little sin into your life."" ""There is no peace onto the wicked." "Proverbs."" "This is wrong." "Let's say it's a matter of opinion, shall we?" "I made a statement of fact." "It's wrong." "How dare you?" "Even if it's not a church, it is a mission!" " How dare you blaspheme?" " How dare you misquote the bible?" " It's Isaiah, not proverbs." " Proverbs." " Isaiah." "Chapter 57, verse 20 or 21." "Would you like to bet on it?" "Not money, just a nice sociable bet." "Isaiah?" "Isaiah." "There's only one thing that's been in as many hotel rooms as I have, the Gideon bible." "Never tangle with me on the good book." "I've read it a dozen times." " If that didn't help..." " Who says it wasn't?" "Once I found a three-horse parlay " "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego." "Mr Masterson, why did you come in here?" "I told you, I'm an unhappy sinner." " Excuse me, but you're a liar." " Excuse me, but lying is not my sin." "I'm not interested in a 1.00 gold watch." "We'll lay it on the line." "We'll deal the hand open." " Say that in English." " I'm sure you've earned your stripes courageously" " in active combat against the devil." " Don't be sarcastic." "But not on this particular battlefield against the devil's first-line troops." "You can't reach the enemy." "This mission's laying an egg." "You don't know that." "You are stuck with a storeful of repentance and no customers." "Without sinners, repentance doesn't exist." "So you're stuck with a storeful of nothing." " Was that a fair rundown?" " I wouldn't know." "I've never had a rundown." "Would you be open to a proposition?" "I've had those." "No." "Don't flatter yourself." "I'm talking business." "I'm in a position to supply you with the raw material you need for your work, namely sinners." " How?" " That's my work." "When is this big midnight meeting?" "Thursday, day after tomorrow." "I guarantee to supply that meeting with at least one dozen genuine sinners." "Whether they repent is up to you." "Thank you." "That seems to be a fair rundown." "Now, if you will excuse me." "Just a minute, sister Sarah." "This is not charity." "It's a business transaction." "Something you want for something I want." "And what is that?" "Have dinner with me tomorrow night." "Why should that be something you want?" "Maybe because I think I'll be hungry tomorrow night." " Keep this." "My marker." " Your what?" "My IOU for at least one dozen genuine sinners delivered as described." " I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon." " At noon for dinner?" "It takes time to get to the El Cafe Cabano." " El cafe Cabano." "Where's that?" " Havana." " Havana, Cuba?" " What other Havanas are there?" "You're taking me to dinner in Havana, Cuba?" "They eat there, too." "What do you take me for, a... a chump?" " Ah-ah!" "Isaiah's on the back." " Get out!" "What are they worth to you?" "One dozen genuine sinners ready for salvation." "What are they worth to you, a chicken salad in a tearoom?" "One last word, sergeant." "I don't want you walking out of here thinking the reason you're upset is because some black-hearted sinner made improper advances..." " It's none of your business." " ..to a virtuous young lady with a shining white soul." "Any sinful thoughts present in this room come out of you, doll, not me." "You're quite right." "I'm nothing but a repressed, neurotic girl." "I've read two whole books on the subject." "Abnormally attracted to sin and therefore, abnormally afraid of it." "You're not the first to try that approach." "I'm happy to know that I am not the first man to ever try to approach you at all." " You're not even close." " I imagine you've succeeded in blocking all possible approaches." "Except for a few you wouldn't know about." "I only know the ones on the outskirts of society." "What are the approaches like on the inskirts?" "All paved with honourable intentions?" " I wonder what he'll be like." " Who?" "That upright, downright, forthright square with his close-shaved chin up who, right now somewhere, is marching along the proper approach to proper you." "What'll he be like?" "He will not be a gambler." "I know better than you what he won't be." "But what will he be?" " How will you know when he gets to you?" " Don't worry, I'll know." "# For I've imagined every bit of him" "# From his strong moral fibre" "# To the wisdom in his head" "# To the homey aroma of his pipe" "# You have wished yourself A small-town Galahad" "# The breakfast-eating four-button type" "# And I shall meet him When the time is ripe" "# I'll know" "# When my love comes along" "# I won't" "# Take a chance" "# For, oh" "# He'll be just what I need" "# Not some fly-by-night Broadway romance" "# And you'll know at a glance By the two pair of pants" "# I'll know" "# By his calm, steady voice" "# Those feet on the ground" "# I'll know" "# As I run to his arms" "# That at last I've come home" "# Safe and sound" "# Until then I shall wait" "# Until then I'll be strong" "# For I'll know" "# When my love" "# Comes along" "# Mine will come As a surprise to me" "# Mine I leave to chance And chemistry. #" "Chemistry?" "Yeah, chemistry." "# Suddenly I'll know" "# When my love comes along" "# I'll know Then and there" "# I'll know" "# At the sight of her face" "# How I care, how I care How I care" "# And I'll stop And I'll stare" "# And I'll know" "# Long before we can speak I'll know" "# In my heart I'll know" "# And I won't ever ask Am I right?" "# Am I wise?" "Am I smart?" "# But I'll stop And I'll stare" "# At that face In the throng" "# Yes, I'll know" "# When my love" "# Comes along. #" "Mm-hmm." "Well, that makes it necessary for me to drop back again." "Matthew 5:39." "Don't bother looking it up." "It's the bit about the other cheek." "I know, Joey, but the 1,000 bucks is guaranteed." "What?" "It's a bet I cannot lose." "I bet Sky Masterson he could not take a certain doll to Havana." "Not this doll." "Not this doll." "Now the grand finale of our round-the-world revue." "The Hotbox takes you out to the alley with Miss Adelaide and her Alley Kittens." "Meow!" "Meow!" "Meow!" "CORKS POP Meow!" "ALL:" "Hello!" "ALL:" "Prrr!" "ALL:" "Prrr!" "ALL:" "Ohh!" "# One meow, two meow three meow, scat" "# What's the initial of my pet tomcat?" "# Is it A-B-C-D-E-F-G?" "# Is it H or J or L-M-N-O-P?" "# Is it L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T?" "# No, it's U You're the cat for me!" "#" "ALL:" "Meow!" "ALL:" "Meow!" "ALL:" "Uh-uh." "# You know you've been mean to me" "# And you know when you're mean to me" "# How it always makes me wanna roam" "# And you know there's a danger" "# That some gentle stranger" "# Might pick me up" "# And make me feel at home" "# So pet me, papa papa, pet me nice" "# Meow Meow" "# Ooh, pet me, papa Papa, melt the ice" "# And you know how" "# If you don't want me out roaming' the city" "# Talk to me pretty Here, kitty kitty" "# And pet me, papa Papa, pet me nice" "# Ooh, pet me, papa Papa, pet me good" "# Meow Meow" "# Pet me, papa Proper, like you should" "# And you know how" "# If you care to keep me Home by the fire" "# 'Specially when it's time to retire" "ALL: # Then pet me, papa Papa, pet me good" "# Warm up my saucer of milk And maybe I'll purr" "# Lay out my cushion of silk Don't rumple my fur. #" "THEY HISS" "# Just reach over and" "# Pet me, papa Papa, melt the ice" "# If you don't want me out roaming' the city" "# Talk to me pretty Here, kitty kitty" "# And pet me, papa That's my good advice" "# Pet me, papa Meow" "# Pet me, papa Rrruff!" "# Pet me, papa Papa, pet me..." "# That'll get me!" "# Pet me, papa Papa, pet me nice!" "#" "APPLAUSE AND CHEERING" "Joey, can I tell the guys that the game will be at your garage tomorrow night?" "I would gladly pay you in advance, but I will not get the money until tomorrow." "I need time to spread the word around." "Joey, listen to..." "Yes, Joey." "Yes, Joey." "Drop dead, Joey." "Yes, Joey." "Oh, Nathan, darling." "You got here early." "It's so thrilling to find you waiting for me just like we were married and I was coming home from work." "You wouldn't make me stop working, would you?" "That would be cruel." "A doll like you could earn good money for another ten years, easy." "Sweet." "And you were reading my book, too." "See?" "Reading don't make people go blind." " It's very interesting, isn't it?" " What is?" "Oh, the book." "Yeah." "The doctor gave it to me." "He thought it might help me get rid of my cold." "With a book?" "The doctor thinks my cold might possibly be caused by psychology." "Ah..." "How does he know you got psychology?" "Nathan, everybody has got it." "And female psychology explains why certain girls do certain kinds of things." "It's all in the book." "Must be some book." "Uh... would it tell you what kind of a doll would go for a guy which you wouldn't think she would do so?" "Nathan, no matter how terrible a fella seems, you can never be sure that some girl won't go for him." "Take us." "Get dressed." "We'll go eat." "Uh... starting next week, Nathan, I will be getting a raise in salary." "Where does it say what different dolls will do?" " You're not even listening to me!" "Ah-choo!" " Gesundheit." "I'll be making enough for us to finally get married." "What do you think?" "Hmm?" "Oh, of course we'll get married... sooner or later." "Nathan, after 14 years, it is already too late to be sooner, and if it gets much later, soon, it will be too late even to be later." " Ah-choo!" " Gesundheit." "Besides, Nathan, I don't know what to do about mother." "What about your mother?" "This is something that I haven't told you before, but my mother, back in Rhode island, she thinks that..." "That we are already married." "How could she think such a thing?" "Maybe because I wrote her that we were already married." "That would make her think so." "Nathan, in Rhode island, people do not remain engaged for 14 years." "They get married." "So how come it's such a small state?" "Furthermore, after about two years..." "After about two years, we..." " We got a divorce?" " We had a baby." "You wrote your mother we had a baby?" "I had to, Nathan." "Mother kept after me, and finally I just ran out of excuses." " And what type baby was it?" " It was a boy." " I named it after you, Nathan." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "And tell me, what has Nathan Jr Been doing all these years?" "Well, right now he's in boarding school." "I wrote mother that he won the football game last saturday." "I wish I had a bet on it." "But, Nathan, that... ..that isn't all." "Don't tell me we also have got an Adelaide Jr?" "All these years, Nathan." "Mother believes in big families, and we had such an early start." "Just give me the grand total." " Five." " Adelaide!" "How could you do such a thing to a nice old broad like your mother?" "Nathan, darling, let's just us get married, and I'll handle everything else." "OK?" "OK, doll." "When we're ready." "Nathan, we're ready now." "We've been ready for 14 years." "All we need now is a license" " and a blood test." " Blood test?" "Don't worry, Nathan." "You've got blood." "What a city." "First they close my crap game, then they open my veins." "You gave up the crap game." "Of course I did, doll." "For you." "Because I love you." "Can I borrow some earrings?" "It is customary, Laverne, to knock when entering the private dressing room of an engaged person." "As far as I'm concerned, you are in here by yourself." "May I borrow some earrings?" " Diamonds or pearls?" " Diamonds." "Top drawer of the trunk." "The big box." "Aren't they a little long, dear?" "Remember, you've got a short neck." "He's a tall man." "You!" "I'm all dated up with society max tomorrow night, and he breaks it, on account of your silly crap game!" "Adelaide, look at me." "I'm on my knees!" "Oh, get up." "It reminds me of your crap game." " Adelaide, doll!" " Ah-choo!" " You're getting upset about nothing." " Ah-choo!" " I set it up a long time ago." " Ah-choo!" " Understand?" " Ah-choo!" "Look, we love each other." "We're going to get married." "We'll be happy." "Get out of my life, Nathan Detroit!" " I knew you'd understand." " Ah-choo!" " Gesundheit." "It says here..." "# The average unmarried female" "# Basically insecure" "# Due to some long frustration" "# May react" "# With psychosomatic symptoms" "# Difficult to endure" "# Affecting the upper respiratory tract" "# In other words" "# Just from waiting' around" "# For that plain little band of gold" "# A person Could develop a cold" "# You could spray her wherever You figure the streptococci lurk" "# You can give her a shot For whatever she's got" "# But it just won't work" "# If she's tired of gettin' that fish-eye" "# From the hotel clerk" "# A person" "# Can develop a cold. #" "It says here..." "# The female remaining single" "# Constantly in suspense" "# Shows a neurotic tendency" "# See note. #" "See note?" "Note." "# Chronic organic syndromes" "# Toxic or hypertense" "# Involving the eye, the ear The nose and throat" "# In other words Just from wondering' whether" "# The wedding is on or off" "# A person Can develop a cough" "# You can feed her all day With the vitamin A" "# And the bromo fizz" "# But the medicine never gets anywhere near" "# Where the trouble is" "# If she's gettin' a kind Of a name for herself" "# And the name ain't his" "# A person Can develop a cough" "# And furthermore just from stalling And stalling and stalling" "# The wedding trip A person" "# Can develop la grippe" "# When they get on the train" "# For Niagara" "# And she can hear church bells chime" "# The compartment is air conditioned" "# And the mood sublime" "# Then they get off at yonkers racetrack" "# For the 14th time" "# A person Can develop la grippe" "# La grippe La postnasal drip" "# With the wheezes And the sneezes" "# And a sinus that's really A pip... #" "Ah-choo!" "# From a lack of community property" "# And a feeling she's getting too old" "# A person" "# Can develop a bad, bad" "# Cold!" "#" "# Follow the fold" "# And stray no more" "# Stray no more" "# Stray no more" "# Put down the bottle" "# And we'll say no more" "# Follow. #" "If you'd arrived one minute earlier, you would've witnessed Miss Sarah give Sky Masterson a 100% brush-off." "So the 1,000 for Joey Biltmore is practically in your pocket." "You should be jumping for joy." "I'm jumping." "You got work to do, arrangements to make." "A shave and a hot towel will fix you up." "For who should I have a shave?" "For who should I have a hot towel?" "Do you know what is at stake here?" "Nathan Detroit's crap game, because of a doll." "I cannot believe that a businessman like you could let himself go and fall in love with his own fiancee." "All right!" "So Adelaide's my weakness." "Can you not be tolerant of my weakness, especially since it's the sad condition guys are in all over the world?" "Look." "# What's playin' at the Roxy?" "# I'll tell you what's playin' at the Roxy" "# It's a picture about a Minnesota man" "# So in love with a Mississippi girl That he sacrifices everything" "# And moves all the way to Biloxi" "# That's what's playing at the Roxy" "# What's in the Daily News?" "# I'll tell you what's in the Daily News" "# Story about a guy Who bought his wife a small ruby" "# With what otherwise would have been his union dues" "# That's what's in the Daily News" "# What's happenin' all over?" "# I'll tell you what's happenin' all over" "# Guy sitting' home by a television set" "# Who used to be something of a rover" "# That's what's happenin' all over" "ALL: # Love is a thing that has licked 'em" "# And it looks like I'm just another victim. #" "Yes, sir." "# When you see a guy Reach for stars in the sky" "# You can bet That he's doin' it for some doll" "# When you spot a John Waitin' out in the rain" "# Chances are he's insane As only a John can be for a Jane" "# When you meet a gent Payin' all kinds of rent" "# For a flat that could flatten The Taj Mahal" "# Call it sad, call it funny But it's better than even money" "# That the guy's only doin' it for some doll" "# When you see a Joe Savin' half of his dough" "# You can bet" "# There'll be mink in it For some doll" "# When a bum buys wine Like a bum can't afford" "All: # It's a cinch that the bum Is under the thumb" "# Of some little broad" "# When you meet a mug Lately out of the jug" "# And he's still lifting' platinum folderol" "ALL: # Call it hell, call it heaven It's a probable 12-to-seven" "# That the guy's only doin' it for some doll" "# When you see a sport And his cash has run short" "# You can bet" "# He's been blowin' it on some doll" "# When a guy wears tails With the front gleaming white" "# Who the heck do you think" "# He's tickling' pink on saturday night" "# When some lazy slob Gets a good steady job" "# And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol" "ALL: # Call it dumb, call it clever Ah, but you can give odds forever" "# That the guy's only doin' it for some doll" "# Some doll, some doll" "# The guy's only doin' it for some doll!" "#" "Well, I think we finally managed to shake off the prince of darkness." "You certainly did your best to discourage him." "I certainly did." "Arvide." "General Cartwright, what a pleasant surprise." "We didn't even know you were in town." "Flew in from Boston early this morning." "Important luncheon meeting." "While waiting, thought I'd check our outposts." "I must say, I was surprised to find the mission unattended in a neighborhood as unsavory as this." "Why should you be surprised, general?" "You've seen our records." "We can't get anyone in here even to rob us." "Yes." "Well, now that you've brought it up," "I must confess I've come for a purpose... an unhappy one, I'm afraid." "I know it doesn't look as if we're accomplishing anything, but in time..." "Time is what we can no longer afford." "My good friends, after careful deliberation, national headquarters has decided to close this branch of the mission." " Close the mission?" " No, general, please." "Even if I haven't made it a success, someone will." "Sarah, if you can't attract sinners, nobody can." "There are so many calls on us, dear, other places where our work's needed." "KNOCK ON DOOR" "How do you do?" "I don't believe we've met," "Brother...?" "Brother Sky Masterson, former sinner." "I'm general Cartwright, regional director." "Why isn't his name on the progress report?" " What were you doing in there?" " I was resting, sister Sarah." "I was going to ask brother Arvide if I could carry the drum this afternoon." "General, on behalf of future former sinners, I protest the closing of this mission." "General, I should explain..." "Sarah, this man has a right to be heard." "Continue, brother Sky." "General, would you be open to a proposition?" "The General's leaving this afternoon." "She will not be available for dinner tonight." "Sarah, what are you talking about?" "What have you got in mind, young man?" "Faith in Sister Sarah." "I ask you to give her 36 hours to prove that she can make this mission pay off." "Savings souls shouldn't be referred to as "paying off."" "Why 36 hours?" "Because he knows our big meeting in 36 hours" " will be a great success." " Uncle Arvide." "How can you guarantee that, Brother Sky?" "Well, let's just say I have a feeling about it." ""If sinners entice thee, consent thou not."" "That's the wrong thought." "Where is yesterday's thought for the day?" "Top right-hand drawer." "Excuse me, General." "Before going to the expense of a big meeting, we'd require more than just a feeling that it will be successful." "Oh, it's a very strong feeling, General." "Ah. "There is no peace to the wicked." Isaiah 57:21." "That is correct." "General, my proposition is this - why don't you come to tomorrow's midnight meeting and find out for yourself?" "Well, if I thought there was a chance of finding definite progress, any sizable turnout..." "What do you think, Sister Sarah?" "Don't you honestly believe that this mission could be saved within the next 36 hours?" "General Cartwright." "I am in a position to guarantee you personally at least one dozen genuine sinners." " Hallelujah!" " Hallelujah!" "Halle... lujah." "Be sure you're wearing your carnation." "Remember, nobody gets in the crap game without they got a red carnation." "It's like a password." "Nathan's orders." " We got the flowers." " Where is the action?" "Once Nathan arrives, we're..." "He has arrived." "Is it all set?" "Can I tell the customers it's Joey Biltmore..." "Not till I put the 1,000 in Joey's hand." "I haven't got it yet." "Nicely's waiting for Sky at his hotel." "The minute Sky gives him the money, nicely brings it to me." "They won't stick around much longer." "They're getting nervous." "I'm not nervous?" "Well, Harry the Horse." "How's everything in Brooklyn?" "The same?" "I hope you will not spoil our evening," "Inasmuch as I happen to be entertaining a very prominent guest tonight." "I would like you to meet Big Jule from Chicago." "I would like you to meet Big Jule from Chicago." "Big Jule, welcome to our fair city, in which, as you know, the heat is on." "However, if you will be patient, you will be provided with action." "What do you say, Big Jule, should we stick around or blow?" "I come here to shoot crap." "Let's shoot crap." " Order another milkshake and relax." " Nathan." "Do not let the fact that Big Jule drinks milk give you wrong ideas." "Big Jule does not like to be displeased." "Why, Harry, did I give the impression that I was being rude to a guest who has such a well-deserved reputation?" "Big Jule, I'm sure that you did not misunderstand my kidding remarks." "It's just that one look at your kindly face, which is so full of fun, good fellowship..." "Could I have a swallow of your milk?" "Well, well, well... what have we here?" "The jails must be empty tonight." "Can anybody be missing?" "Harry the Horse, Liver Lips Louie," "Angie the Ox," "Society Max..." "And here's a face for which I cannot supply a name." "May I ask where you come from?" " East Cicero, Illinois." " And what is your occupation there?" "I'm a scoutmaster." "Don't ever help my mother across the street." "Such lovely red carnations." "Is it a funeral?" "Did somebody die suddenly that I don't know about yet?" "What's on, Nathan?" "What brings these senior delinquents together?" "They got lonely." "How do I know?" "And why are they all wearing red carnations?" " They're also all wearing pants." " You're up to no good!" "Is it now a crime to wear flowers?" "Is Mindy's suddenly a hideout for gangsters?" "Lieutenant, I'll confess." "We're smuggling hot cheesecake into Canada." "This is all I need." "It's complete." "Everybody in the whole world who hates me is now here." "What's the use, Nathan?" "Why try to keep it a secret?" " Bite your tongue, Benny!" " OK, Southstreet, let's have it." "What's this all about?" " It's A... it's a party, lieutenant." " What kind of party?" "A bachelor dinner for Nathan Detroit." "He's getting married." "# For he's a jolly good fellow" "ALL: # For he's a jolly good fellow" "# For he's a jolly good fellow" "BIG JULE: # Which nobody cannot deny!" "#" "Ooh!" "Oh, Nathan, darling, I'm so thrilled." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Well, it was going to be a surprise wedding." "You certainly had me fooled, Detroit." "When is the happy occasion?" "It's going to take time to get the blood test and the license." "Gee, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could get married tomorrow night?" "Right after the new show opens at the hotbox." "Adelaide, according to the laws under which we live, it's going to take a little time." " You could elope." " You are telling me to violate the law?" "It's legal to elope at your age." "And Maryland will marry you right away." "No blood test." "Ain't that unhealthy?" "Nathan, the lieutenant has a romantic suggestion of which I approve." "Elope." "And for the trip, I will loan you my getaway car." "That is, my station wagon." "Oh, Nathan, darling, let's do it." "Please?" "OK." "Deal me in." " Speech, Nathan." " Speech." " Give us a speech." "ALL:" "Speech!" "Speech!" "# Unaccustomed as I am to getting married" "# I am taking this occasion here to say" "# That me" "# And Adelaide" "# Are finally" "# Naming the day" "# Though she knows deep in her heart" "# I'm a phony, and I'm a fake She wants five children to start" "# Five's a difficult point to make" "# But" "# Adelaide Adelaide" "# Ever-lovin' Adelaide" "# Is taking' a chance on me" "# Takin' a chance I'll be respectable and nice" "# Give up cards and dice And go for shoes and rice" "# So, gentlemen Deal me out" "# Do not try to feel me out I got no more evenings free" "# Since Adelaide Adelaide" "# Ever-lovin' Adelaide Is taking' a chance" "# Talk about your long shots Takin' a chance on me. #" "Well, my congratulations, too, and I certainly hope there's nothing in heredity." "It might seem unimportant on the night before your wedding, but your blintzes are getting cold." "Who cares?" "As long as Nathan stays hot." "Don't forget to bring my purse to the Hotbox." "Darling, I'm so excited." "I don't even want to go back to work." "I've got so much to do before tomorrow night." "What about my mother?" "I've got to write her." " What'll I say?" " Send a telegram." "Date it back 14 years." "# Adelaide" "# Adelaide" "ALL: # Ever-lovin' Adelaide" "# Is taking' a chance on me" "# Takin' a chance" " # I'll be respectable and nice" " Give up the cards and dice" "# And go for shoes and rice" "# So, gentlemen, deal me out Do not try to feel me out" "ALL: # You got no more evenings free. # you may scratch me..." "# Since Adelaide" "# Adelaide" "# Ever-lovin' Adelaide" "# Is taking' a chance" "# Talk about your long shots" "# Takin' a chance" "# On me. #" "Nathan, you are indeed a most lucky fella." "She is a most beautiful doll indeed." "Do you agree, big Jule?" "Tell me - how long do you know the doll?" " 14 years." " Let's shoot crap." " Nathan." " You got the money?" "Sky wasn't at the hotel or the mission?" "I'm trying to tell you." " He must be with the mission band." " Nathan, wait!" "MISSION BAND PLAYS" "SINGING IN SPANISH" ""This church is for the most part Spanish baroque," ""built of native limestone." ""The original church was built on this site in 1674" ""and reconstructed between 1704 and 1724."" "It's almost impossible to believe." "Well, that's not very old for a church." " Long before 1674, there were missionaries..." " What does it say about the moonlight?" "The moonlight?" " Mm-hmm." " It's very bright, isn't it?" "So bright you're reading your guidebook by it." "Now that you mention it." "What does it say about the music?" " The music?" " Mm-hmm." "It's a lovely tune." "Let me read out of Sky Masterson's guidebook about you." "You could be locked away in a room with no sun, no moon, no laughter, no music, no love, and you wouldn't care." "You could still be a missionary." ""The cobblestones in this plaza" ""are approximately four centuries old." ""They are the very cobblestones that were put down by the Spanish colonists in 1519."" "Buenas tardes." "Que van a tomar?" "What's your pleasure?" "Oh, drinking." "What's your pleasure?" " Milk, please." " Don't make a spectacle of yourself." " Milk." "You're a united states citizen in a foreign country." "Where's your pride in what the world thinks about America?" " Milk." " Milk." " Dulce de leche." "Dos." " Leche dulce, dos." "Si, senor." "What did you order?" "Dulce de leche." "Dulce is Spanish for sweet." " De means of." "Leche means milk." " Sweet of milk." "Don't they serve it plain?" "Only in the mornings." "It has to do with the heat." "At night, they put a kind of a preservative in it." "That's interesting." "What do they use?" " Bacardi." " Bacardi?" "Doesn't that have alcohol in it?" "Just enough to keep the milk from turning sour." "That's the same song we heard near the church, isn't it?" "Playing the tambourine has developed your ear for music." "Mr Masterson, you think I'm an awful prude, don't you?" " Are you?" " Well, I wonder sometimes." "For instance, supposing I wasn't in mission work..." "Mm-hmm." "Mmm." "This is a tasty milkshake." "Do you mind if I have another?" "Supposing I was just any girl." "Would any girl be a prude if she refused to go to Havana with a man she'd never met?" "Oh, I suppose not." "Would you like to try some of my milkshake" " while you're waiting for yours?" " Oh, just a sip." "Oh, thanks." "I don't know when I've been so thirsty." "Still, you do think I'm a prude, don't you?" " I don't know what you are." " You must think I'm something." "You're something all buttoned up, all except one button." "Oh, isn't it awful?" "It's a nervous habit." "It's so silly." "SLURPING" "I'm sorry." "I just wasn't thinking." "It's so delicious." "That bacardi flavouring certainly makes a difference, doesn't it?" "Oh, yeah. nine times out of 10." "You know, this would be a wonderful way to get children to drink milk." "SAME MELODY CONTINUES TO PLAY" "A melody can have the same notes, but suddenly it's a different song." " Again, please?" " That song." "Before it was just romantic, just silly slush." "Now it's playing inside of me all true and honest, as if my heart were beating the drum." "How much do you know about life?" "Only a little bit around the edges." " Tell me about life." " All about it?" "How to live." "Doing what you want, having what you want, saying what you want." " Being what you want." " Nobody can." "Nobody does." "If you could, you probably wouldn't want to." "You're wrong, brother Sky." "You're wrong." "You tell me about life." "You don't believe I could, don't you?" "I believe I could." "After all, it was you that came to me for help, isn't that so?" "Because you were unhappy." "What were you unhappy about, Sky?" "I can't remember this minute." "But you do remember I failed you." "I was weighed in the balance and found wanting." " Daniel 5:27." " For that I am truly sorry." "But I intend to make it up to you." "I intend to give you all the help you will ever require." "You have given me a great deal of help already." "You don't think I remember, don't you?" "But I do." "Every word, as if you were saying it now." "What?" "About having a more... personal help in mind... ..when I gave you those silly old pamphlets, as if they could take the place of a truly personal help." "SLURPING" "How can a sinner hope to be saved by maybe one hour of help, when for 23 he must fight temptation alone?" " How indeed?" " It's been done with people who drink too much." "Help day and night, night and day." "Anywhere, anytime." " That's a full-time job." " You're a full-time sinner." "Maybe a little time off for good behaviour?" "Pal, you're not going to fight alone anymore." "What if it's against mission policies?" "Private lessons in salvation?" "Because I'm going to be with you." "A one-woman mission for the personal salvation of me?" "Day and night." "Night and day." "Sister Sarah, why would you want to?" "Whatever you do, wherever you go." " Why, Sister Sarah, why?" " I want to be with you." "The world's full of souls" " closer to salvation than mine." " Anytime, anywhere." "Easier to save and much more worth saving." "You, you..." "Please say something." "I've got to know what you're thinking." "I'm thinking... ..it's time you had your dinner." "SAME MELODY: # Hay en tu mirar" "# Cierta luz del amor" "# La luz que quieres apagar" "# Yo se, bien yo se" "# Esta luz del amor" "# Cuando alumbra cual sol" "# Tu mirar" "# Porque, porque ignorar" "# Este amor sin igual?" "# Porque es mi amor acultar" "# Hay en tu mirar" "# Cierta luz del amor" "# Y brillara" "# Para mi mirar" "# Y brillara para mi mirar. #" "Ay!" "Mira, Mira!" "BELL CONTINUES RINGING" " Oh." " Still dizzy?" "You won't believe me, but with my head underwater," " I actually heard bells ringing." " I'll believe you." "Ask me how do I feel?" "How do you feel?" "# Ask me now that we're cozy and clinging" "# Well, sir All I can say" "# Is if I were a bell I'd be ringing" "# From the moment we kissed tonight" "# That's the way I've just got to behave" "# Boy, if I were a lamp I'd light" "# And if I were a banner I'd wave" "# Ask me how do I feel" "# Little me with my quiet upbringing" "# Well, sir All I can say" "# Is if I were a gate I'd be swinging" "# And if I were a watch I'd start" "# Popping my springs" "# Or" "# If I were a bell I'd go" "# Ding dong ding dong ding" "# Ask me how do I feel" "# From this chemistry lesson I'm learning... #" " Chemistry?" " Yeah, chemistry!" "# All I can say is if I were a bridge" "# I'd be burning" "# Yes, I knew my morale would crack" "# From the wonderful way that you looked" "# Boy, if I were a duck, I'd quack" "# Or if I were a goose, I'd be cooked" "# Ask me how do I feel" "# Ask me now that we're fondly caressing" "# Pal, if I were a salad" "# I know I'd be splashing my dressing" "# Ask me how to describe this whole" "# Beautiful thing" "# Well, if I were a bell I'd go" "# Ding dong ding dong" "# Ding!" "#" "We just got time to catch the last plane to New York." " People miss planes." "It happens." " Yeah." "It also happens that people win with loaded dice." " I know what I'm doing." " Do ya, kid?" "I don't." "Suddenly I'm playing by a whole new book of rules." "You make me feel as if I were a dishonest horse race or something." "The bells rang." "They really rang." "They weren't magical bells for lovers full of rum and music on a make-believe island." "They rang to tell us what time it is." "Shall we synchronise our watches?" "I know the night-time." "I live in it." "It does funny things to you." "You must be trying to tell me I'd hate myself in the morning." "I look as if I'd been in a fight or something." "You know, you're the most mixed-up man" " I've ever met in my life." " Easily." "All that nonsense about night-time, daytime, rule books and such." "Sarah." "You know why I brought you to Havana?" "Because I made a bet that I could." "That's why I came to the mission, to win a bet." "Why not?" "You're a gambler." "And, darling... ..you are also a chump." "We're blocks from the mission." "Come on." "A little walk will do you good." " What time is it?" " It's dawn any minute." "What makes the light so strange and white?" "Because only in times square, the dawn gets turned on by an electrician." "Listen." "What?" "Footsteps." "Now is the time you can hear footsteps on Broadway." "A cup of coffee?" "No." "Doughnut?" "No." "Dulce de leche?" "# Do dum # # ba ba bum # # da da dee da da... # you remember that tune pretty well." "It keeps running through my heart." "It's got words, you know." "Something about "amor, amor", I'll bet." "It's about you." "About you right now." "# Your eyes are the eyes" "# Of a woman in love" "# And, oh how they give you away" "# Why try to deny" "# You're a woman in love" "# When I know very well" "# What I say" "# I say no moon in the sky" "# Ever lent such a glow" "# Some flame deep within made them shine" "# Those eyes are the eyes of a woman in love # and may they gaze evermore" "# Into mine" "# Tenderly gaze" "# Evermore into mine" "# And what about you?" "# It's got you, too" "# Your eyes are the eyes" "# Of a man who's in love" "# That same flame deep within made them shine" "# Your eyes are the eyes" " # Of a man who's in love" " Woman in love" "BOTH: # And may they gaze evermore Into mine" "# Crazily gaze" "# Evermore" "# Into mine. #" "MISSION DRUM BEATS" " Uncle Arvide, where have you been?" " Good morning, Sarah." "Good morning, Brother Sky." " We took your advice." " We've been out all night on a crusade against the devil." "SIREN" "Come on, fellas!" "Cheese it, it's the cops." "Come on, guys." "Let's go!" "SIRENS GETTING CLOSER" " Nathan, what is this?" " Bingo." "Wait a minute." "Where are you all going?" "I'm out ten Gs." "It's no use." "They were tipped off." "I suppose you can explain all this, Miss Brown." "Explain?" "Explain what?" "I guess it was just a coincidence the mission was open and empty all night while everybody suddenly took off on an all-night crusade." "But you yourself didn't go on the crusade, and you weren't here." "Now maybe that's two coincidences." "Masterson, I had you in my big-time book." "Now I suppose I'll have to reclassify you under "shills and decoys"." "You certainly do know the nighttime, don't you, and the funny things it does?" " It certainly did them to me." " Answer only one question." "It didn't do much thanks to you, not me." "Just more than enough." " Answer one question." " Any question." " Am I now supposed to prove to you..." " There's nothing to prove." "You're taking for granted I'm guilty as charged." "Everything that was to be proved has already been proved." "If I hadn't gone with you," " this would never have happened." " You went with me to help the mission." " Did I?" "I can't remember that far back." "Oh, Sarah." "Is that really why I went with you, to help the mission?" "Is that really why you took me?" "To win the bet, I told you!" "Was that all of the bet, Sky?" " What do you take me for?" " Or was there more, much more?" "Did you win the bet?" "Did you truly win all of the bet?" "What do you take yourself for?" "What kind of doll are you?" "A daytime doll." "A mission doll." "TIN CAN RATTLES" "EMCEE:" "And now the feature attraction of our all new Four-D Follies, the Hotbox proudly presents miss Adelaide and her debutantes." " Nicely, nicely, thank you." " I didn't ask how you are." " Don't." "What are you doing here?" "Where's Nathan?" "Nathan." "That's what I'm doing here." "I'm supposed to bring miss Adelaide a message from him." "I wish Nathan would bring his own messages." "# He bought me the fur thing" "# Five winters ago" "# And the gown the following fall" "# Then the necklace, the bag the hat and the shoes" "# Oh, what generous gifts I recall" "# Then last night in his apartment" "# He tried to remove them all" "# And I said as I ran down the hall" "# Take back your mink" "# Take back your pearls" "# What made you think" "# That I was one of those girls?" "# Take back the gown" "# The shoes and the hat" "# I may be down But I'm not flat as all that" "# I thought that each expensive Gift you'd arranged" "# Was a token of your esteem" "# Now when I think of what you want in exchange" "# It all seems a horrible dream" "# So take back your mink" "# To from whence it came" "# And tell them to shorten the sleeves" "# For some other dame" "# Take back your mink take back your pearls" "# What made you think that I was one of those girls?" "# I'm screamin' take back the gown" "# Take back the hat I may be down" "# But I'm not flat as all that" "# I thought that each expensive gift you'd arranged" "# Was a token of your esteem" "# But when I think of what you want in exchange" "# It all seems a horrible dream" "# Oh, take back your mink those old worn-out pelts" "# And go shorten the sleeves" "# For somebody else" "# Well, wouldn't you?" "#" "I cannot do it, Sky." "I cannot bring myself to tell miss Adelaide" "Nathan is not going to elope with her tonight." "Nathan is what he is." "She ought to know better." "I thought the game broke up last night." "Big Jule, being a large loser, is most insistent that the game goes on." " So we find another place, the game goes on." " Where?" "It's too hard to describe." "I could take you there, but I must deliver this message first." "I'll deliver it." "Meet me outside." "If you're looking for action, the boys are pretty tired." "No, I'm leaving town tonight." "But I gave my marker to somebody." "I want to make it good before I leave." "You know something, Sky?" "Suddenly I'm embarrassed." "I don't know which etiquette I should use." " Etiquette?" " Your being here tonight must have something to do with the wedding." "Nathan must've sent you as one of his seconds or something." " Nathan didn't exactly send me." " Then I don't understand." "I'm supposed to give you a message from him." "He's out there, isn't he?" " I mean, nathan's here tonight in the Hotbox?" " No." "But tonight..." "Sky, we're eloping tonight." "We're getting married tonight." "In front of people, we talked about it." " Oh, Sky, he's just got to be here." " He isn't." "It seems that one of nathan's close relatives..." " er..." " His aunt in Pittsburgh." " That's the one." " His floating aunt in Pittsburgh." "It's the crap game again." " Does it surprise you?" "You know Nathan." " He promised to change." "Change, change." "Who do you love?" "Nathan, or what you want to make out of him?" "I want to marry and live normal like people." "I want a normal home with wallpaper and bookends." "Then fall in love with people, not with gamblers." "Adelaide, my daddy once told me," ""no matter who you get married to, you wake up married to somebody else."" "You take it the way the dice falls." "But a guy doesn't want to feel he's dress material a woman cuts according to the way they wear husbands this year." "It's easy for you to talk." "You're not in love with Nathan." "No, I'm not." "Wait till you fall in love with somebody you shouldn't." "Wait till it happens to you." "Yeah." "Must be tough to take." "Sarah, I don't believe Sky had any more to do with what happened here last night than I did." "That's why you buy solid gold watches for 1.00." "Do you believe it?" " Whether he did..." " Do you believe it?" "They used our mission for their crap game." " If Sky wasn't involved..." " Don't you understand?" "All I could see was him running away from the police with the rest of that trash." "All I could see was he was one of them." "And I never saw till now how much in love with him you are." "I'll get over it." "Why would anyone want to get over the one thing you hope for from the minute you're born?" "I'll get over it." "Why?" "Because it's the greatest reward that woman or man can have on earth?" "To love and to be loved?" "I just want to remind you, you hold my marker for 12 or more sinners" " by midnight tonight." " Forget about it." "I do not forget a marker." "Well, last night the mission was filled with your friends." "Let's say we're even." "If you don't make that marker good," "I'll buzz it all over town you're a welsher." "Nicely, time's running out." "Where's the crap game?" "A ten-minute walk." " Which way?" " This way." "Craps!" "Wait a minute." "Where are you all going?" "I come here to shoot crap." "I've had enough." "How many days we been here?" "As you can see Big Jule, the boys are slightly fatigued from weariness, having been shooting crap for quite a while now." "Namely, 24 hours." "I don't care who's tired." "I'm out 25 Gs." "Nobody leaves." "I am half dead." "Shut up, or Jule will arrange the other half." "Since I've been cleaned out of cash," "I announce that I will now play on credit." "Big Jule, you cannot imagine how exhausted they are, especially on a non-cash basis." "Me?" "Personally, I'm fresh as a daisy." "Then I'll play with you." "But I am not a player." "I am merely the operator." "You've been raking down out of every pot." "You must have by now quite a bundle." "Being I assume the risk, is it not fair I assume some dough?" "Detroit, I'm going to roll you, willy or nilly." "If I lose, I'll give you my marker." "And if I lose?" "You will give him cash." " Let me hear from big Jule." " You'll give me cash." "I heard." "Here's my marker." "Put up your dough." "Anything wrong?" ""I owe you 1,000, signed X."" "How is it you can write 1,000 but not your signature?" "I was good in arithmetic, but I stunk in English." "Here." "This will put you through Harvard." "I'm rolling the whole thousand." "And to change my luck, I'm going to use my own dice." "Your own dice?" "Yeah, had 'em made especially for me in Chicago." " I do not wish to seem petty, but may I look?" " Here." "But...these dice ain't got no spots on 'em." "They're blank." "Oh, I had 'em removed for luck, but I remember where they formerly were." "You are going to roll blank dice and remember where the spots formerly were?" "Detroit, do you doubt my memory?" "Big Jule, I have great trust in you." "Ha!" "5 and a 5. 10." "My point's 10." "At least I got a chance." "He remembered a hard point." "Ha!" "ten!" "I win. six and a 4." "Which is which?" "Either way." "I'm rolling to 2,000." "Ha!" "7." "I win." "I could have sworn he'd remember that one." "Detroit, I'm gonna take it easy with you this time." "I'm shooting 1.00." "I'll cover all of it." "Ha!" "How do you like that?" "Snake eyes." "I lose." "I won't even bother picking it up." "Benny, pick it up." "Here's your chance to get even." "I'm rolling three Gs." "Three Gs?" "But that's my whole bankroll." "Three Gs." "Get it up." "Well, here we go..." "Down memory lane." "Ha!" "Lucky me. 11." "I win." "I'm clean." "Seeing that I'm on a lucky streak," "I will now roll the rest of you guys." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "You have got to give me a chance to get even." "I will now roll you with my dice." "What are you gonna use for money?" "I will give you my marker." "And against your marker, big Jule puts up cash?" " Nathan done it." " Yeah." "What is this anyway?" "Take it easy, Nathan." "Him and his no-spot dice." "Somebody ought to knock the spots off of him." "Nathan, do not make big Jule have to do something to you." "Detroit, I'm on vacation." "Don't louse it up." "What could you do me?" "Shoot me?" "Put me in cement?" "At least I would know where I am." "Here I risked my neck to set up this crap game, even promised to get married." "And where do I wind up?" "Broke." "In a sewer." "Believe me, my tough friend from Chicago, there's nothing you could do that would not cheer me up." "NICELY NICELY:" "Here they are." "And how is everybody down here?" "Ah!" "I smell fresh blood." "Looking for some action?" "Not at the moment." "I just came underground to talk to some of my friends." "We ain't talkin', we're shooting crap." " It'll only take a minute." " We're shooting crap." "Gentlemen, I would like to talk to you about Sarah Brown's mission where you were so rudely interrupted last night." "What kind of characters walk around the sewers of New York?" "Who is this joker?" "He is the guy who's trying to take the mission doll to Havana." "Oh, him." "I suggest you return to where you came, back to your praying tomato." "Around here your presence is slowing up the action." "If you are so eager for action, care to make a small wager on a proposition?" "Pray tell, what's the proposition?" "An old one my daddy taught me." "Now, am I right-handed or left-handed?" "Now, how would I know?" "I'll give you a clue." "Give me that gu..." "Now, to continue with what I was talking about." "Tonight Miss Sarah's holding a midnight prayer meeting." "I promised to supply that meeting with some sinners." "Now when it comes to sinners, no sewer anywhere could provide such a congregation." "I would consider it a very great personal favour." "I ain't spending no time in no hallelujah joint." "If not as a favour to me, how about as a favour to yourselves?" "I guarantee you the air in the mission smells cleaner than it does down here." "Rusty Charlie?" "Society Max?" "If anybody else would go, I would also go, Sky, but you know me, I'd go anywhere." "Well, thanks, Nathan, but just you alone is not enough." "Well, I tried." "Uh, Sky... about that Havana business." "I regret I temporarily do not have the 1,000 to pay you." "I'm glad you reminded me, Nathan." "You won the bet." "But I thought you took Miss Sarah to Havana." "You thought wrong." "On your feet, big Jule." "I'll roll you again." "This time with real dice." "Nothin' doin'." "With honest dice, big Jule cannot make a pass to save his soul." "What did you say?" "I only said that with real dice, big Jule cannot make a pass to save his soul." "That's very interesting." "Maybe with honest dice," "I can make a pass to save his soul." "And yours." "And yours and yours." "I'm gonna roll these dice." "One roll, and I'll bet each of you 1,000 against your soul." "1,000 cash against a marker for your soul." "If I win, all of you show at the mission tonight." "Have I got a bet?" "ALL TALK AT ONCE" "Let me get this." "If you lose, you got to give us each 1,000 bucks." "If you win, then we all show up at the mission doll's cabaret?" "Save-a-soul mission, midnight tonight." "One meeting." "If you lose, 1,000 apiece?" "1,000 apiece." " That's OK by me." " What have I got to lose?" "What's the delay, Sky?" "You turning chicken?" "You know better than that, Horse." "You've seen me roll for twice as much." "Only I got a lot more than money riding on this one." "# They call you" "# Lady luck" "# But there is room for doubt" "# At times you have A very unladylike way" "# Of running' out" "# You're on this date with me" "# The pickings have been lush" "# And yet before This evening is over you might" "# Give me the brush You might forget your manners" "# You might refuse to stay" "# And so the best That I can do" "# Is pray" "# Luck, be a lady tonight" "# Luck, be a lady tonight" "# Luck, if you've ever Been a lady to begin with" "# Luck, be a lady tonight" "# Luck, let a gentleman see" "# How nice a dame you can be" "# I know the way you've treated Other guys you've been with" "# Luck, be a lady with me" "# A lady doesn't leave her escort" "# It isn't fair It isn't nice" "# A lady doesn't wander all over the room" "# And blow on some other guy's dice" "# So let's keep the party polite Never get out of my sight" "# Stick with me, baby I'm the fella you came in with" "# Luck, be a lady" "# Luck, be a lady" "# Luck, be a lady tonight" "# A lady wouldn't flirt with strangers" "# She'd have a heart She'd have a soul" "# A lady wouldn't make Little snake eyes at me" "# When I bet my life on this roll" " # So let's keep the party polite" " Why don't he shoot?" " # Never get out of my sight" " Come on, quit stallin'" "# Stick with me, baby I'm the fella you came in with" " # Luck, be a lady" " Sky's turnin' yellow" " # Luck, be a lady" " What are you scared of?" "# Luck, be a lady" " # Tonight" " Comin' out, comin' out. #" "ALL:" "Ha!" "I tell ya, I don't wanna go." "But, big Jule, you give your marker." "If you welsh, this will cause me no little embarrassment." "I am sure you do not want to cause me embarrassment." "Well, if it ever gets back to Chicago that I went to a prayer meeting, no decent person will talk to me." "Oop." "Adelaide!" "How clumsy of me." "So sorry." "An awkward coincidence." "Adelaide, listen." "I sent Nicely especially to explain about tonight." "If you knew what I've been through..." "Please." "Let us not have a vulgar scene." "After all, we're civilised people." "We do not have to conduct ourselves like a slob." "Adelaide, what is this?" "How can you be so upset over one lousy elopement?" "I am not upset." "I have succeeded in your not being able to upset me no more." "I have got you completely out of my..." "Ah-choo!" "Gesundheit." "..System." "Oh, Nathan!" "SHE SOBS" "Adelaide, baby, don't do that to me." "I can't stand it when you cry." "Look." "We'll get married." "I promise you." "We'll have what you always wanted..." "A little white house with a green fence, just like the Whitney colours." "Oh, Nathan, if I could only believe you." "We could still make everything all right." " We could elope right now." " Adelaide, could we?" " I almost forgot." "But right at this time I cannot." " Why not?" "I'm gonna tell you the truth, but you will not believe me." "Nathan, why can't we elope?" "I have to go to a prayer meeting." "That is the biggest and most unforgivable lie you've ever told me!" "It's true!" "I promise you." "# You promise me this you promise me that" "# You promise me everything under the sun" "# But you give me a kiss And you're grabbing' your hat" "# And you're off to the races again" " # When I think of the time gone by" " Adelaide..." " # And I think of the way I tried" " Adelaide..." "# I could honestly die" "# Call a lawyer and sue me Sue me" "# What can you do me?" "I love you" "# Give a holler and hate me Hate me" "# Go ahead, hate me, I love you" "# The best years of my life I was a fool to give to you" "# All right, already I'm just a no-goodnik" "# All right, already It's true" "# So nu So sue me, sue me" "# What can you do me?" "I love you" "# But you gamble it here you gamble it there" "# You gamble on everything all except me" "# And I'm sick of you keeping me up in the air" "# Till you're back in the money again When I think of the time gone by" " # Adelaide..." " And I think of the way I tried" " # Adelaide..." " I could honestly die. #" "SHE CRIES" "# Serve a paper and sue me Sue me" "# What can you do me?" "I love you!" "#" "Ah-choo!" "# Give a holler and hate me Hate me" " # Go ahead, hate me, I love you" " When you wind up in jail" "# Don't come to me to bail you out" "# All right, already So call a policeman" "# All right, already It's true, so nu" "# So sue me, sue me" "# What can you do me?" "I love you" "# You're at it again You're running the game" "# I'm not gonna play second fiddle to that" "# I'm sick and I'm tired of stalling around" "# I'm telling you now that we're through" "# When I think of the time gone by" " # And I think of the way I tried" " Adelaide!" "# I could honestly die" "# Sue me Sue me" "# Shoot bullets through me" "# I love you!" "#" "Ah-choo!" "According to my wrist chronometer, it's well past midnight." "It seems to me that if this big meeting were going to be as big as you'd hoped, by now, somebody... you're quite right, General." " Sarah." " Why keep pretending?" "It's childish of us to think we could make sinners appear for this big meeting when we've failed so miserably up to now." "When I say we, I mean I failed." "Welcome, brothers!" "Welcome!" "Come in." "Come in." "Come on." "Move in." "Move in, everybody." "Hats off." "Step along." "You, too, big Jule." "Move it." "Come on, kid." "Keep moving." "Come on." "Is everybody accounted for?" " Where's Nathan Detroit?" " Present." " All right." "Well, I made good my marker." "I ought to ask you to return it, but it would break up your pretty set of thoughts for today." "When you get around to it, mark it "paid in full."" "Would you gentlemen sit down?" "Sit down." "Do as you're told!" "On behalf of General Cartwright, Sergeant Sarah Brown, and the rest of us..." "The army's certainly changed." "In the next war, I wanna be a red cross nurse." " LAUGHTER" " Quiet!" "Quiet!" "I remind you, gentlemen, you're no longer on your knees in a sewer, but sitting in a mission." "I trust there will be no further unpleasantness." "Now, since I depart to move on to other places," "I'm appointing Nathan Detroit as my deputy." "Nathan, I hand you herewith their markers to be returned when they are made good." "And anybody who does not play out this hand strictly according to Hoyle, will answer to me personally." "And that means in person." "What a remarkable young man." "I will add nothin' to what Sky said except to say that there are many here upon who, if they get out of line, I would squeal with pleasure." "Brother Arvide, your dice." "Gentlemen, our meeting tonight will be conducted by the regional director of the Save-a-soul mission," "General Cartwright." "I have rarely attended a meeting in any of our branches which could boast of so many evil-looking sinners." "Now, surely your hearts must be heavy with sins to which you want to confess." "Who will be the first to give testimony?" "Benny Southstreet, give testimony." "I plead the fifth commandment." "Come, brothers, we know how difficult it is." "But if one of you will open his heart, the others will follow." "Benny, this is an order." "Tell the people what a bum you are." "Well, I was always a bad guy." "I was even a bad gambler." "I would like to be a good guy and a good gambler." "I thank you." "Who will be next?" "Big Jule." "What's the pitch?" "Tell the people all the terrible things you've done, but ain't gonna do no more." "And watch your language." "Well, I used to be bad when I was a kid." "But ever since then, I've gone straight, as you can prove by my record - 33 arrests and no convictions." " Horse." " No!" " Harry the horse." " Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Well, when Sky was rolling us against our souls..." "I beg your pardon?" "Sky Masterson - he rolled us 1,000 against our souls." " That's why we're here." " I don't understand." "I'll interpret for you." "He means they're here only because Sky Masterson won them in a dice game." "Then this whole meeting, in a way, is the result of gambling." "Fire fought with fire." "Sergeant Sarah, you are to be congratulated." "Congratulations, Sarah!" "Thank you so much." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "I ain't finished my testimony yet." "So my sin is that when Sky was rolling us," "I wished that I could win the 1,000 instead of having to come here." "Now that I'm here..." "I still wish it!" "Something very funny has been happening to me, sitting here, I mean." "Like I'm remembering a dream." "You..." "Tell us, Nicely." "Tell us in your own words." "NICELY:" "Yeah, that's it - a dream." "# I dreamed last night" "# I got on the boat to heaven" "# And by some chance I had brought my dice along" "# And there I stood And I hollered, someone, fade me" "# But the passengers They knew right from wrong" "# For the people all said sit down Sit down, you're rockin' the boat" "# People all said sit down Sit down, you're rockin' the boat" "# And the devil will drag you under" "# By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat" "# Sit down, sit down, sit down," "# Sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat" "# I sailed away On that little boat to heaven" "# And by some chance Found a bottle in my fist" "# And there I stood Nicely passing out the whiskey" "# But the passengers were bound to resist" "# For the people all said Beware, you're on a heavenly trip" "# People all said, beware Beware, you'll scuttle the ship" "# And the devil will drag you under" "# By the fancy tie round your wicked throat" "# Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down" "# Sit down, you're rockin' the boat" "# And as I laughed" "# At those passengers to heaven" "# Ha ha ha ha!" "# A great big wave came And washed me overboard" "# And as I sank And I hollered, someone save me" "# That's the moment I woke up" " # Thank the lord" " ALL:" "Thank the lord" "ALL: # Thank the lord" "# And I said to myself, sit down Sit down, you're rockin' the boat" "# Said to myself sit down Sit down, you're rockin' the boat" "# And the devil will drag you under" "# With a soul so heavy you'd never float" "# Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down" "# Sit down, you're rockin' the boat Sit down, you're rockin'" "# Sit down, sit down, sit down you're rockin' the boat" "# Sit down, you're rockin'" "# Sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat" " # Sit down" " ALL: # You're rockin' the boat. #" "Now, Brother Brannigan, What can we do for you?" "Maybe you would like to testify?" "I'll do my testifying in court, where I will testify you ran a crap game here in the mission last night." "A crap game!" "In the mission?" "Miss Sarah, you were standing right there when they ran out." "You saw them." "Aren't these the men?" "You must be mistaken, lieutenant." "I never saw these gentlemen before in my life." " BIG JULE:" " There's a right broad." "If you'll excuse us, lieutenant, we'd like to go on with our meeting." "Tell me something." "Is my name Brannigan?" "When last seen." "Thanks." "I was beginning to wonder." "On behalf of everybody concerned, thanks, Miss Sarah." "Also at this time," "I would like to personally make a confession." "General, we did shoot crap here last night, but unbeknownst to anybody connected with the mission." "And for this, we're all sorry." "Ain't we, boys?" "Ain't we, boys?" " ALL:" "Yeah." "Sure." "Oh, yeah." " I'm really sorry." "I did another terrible thing." "I bet a certain guy that he could not take a certain doll away with him to Havana." "I know this I should not have done, although it did not do no harm because, well, I won the bet." "You won the bet?" "Sure." "The guy told me he did not take the doll away." "And for this I feel much better." " CARTWRIGHT:" " Gentlemen, we will now sing number 244," "'Follow the Fold.' You will find it on page 27." "# Follow the fold and stray no more" "# Stray no more" "# Stray no more" "# Put down the bottle and we'll say no more" "# Follow, follow the fold. #" "Brothers and sisters, as you all know, traffic is very heavy this time of night, so my ceremony will be brief." "Do you, Sarah Brown, take Sky Masterson" " to be your wedded husband?" " I do." "Do you, Sky Masterson, take Sarah Brown" " to be your wedded wife?" " I do." "Do you, Miss Adelaide, take Nathan Detroit" " to be your wedded husband?" " I do." "Do you, Nathan Detroit, take Miss Adelaide to be your wedded wife?" "" " Ah-choo!" " That means he does." "" " He's gotta say it." "I do." "Under the authority granted me by the state, county, and city of New York," "I hereby pronounce you men and wives!" "CHEERING" "# When you see a guy" "# Reach for stars in the sky" "# You can bet That he's doing it for some doll" "# When you spot a John Waiting out in the rain" "# Chances are he's insane As only a John can be for a Jane" "# When you meet a Gent Paying all kinds of rent" "# For a flat That could flatten The Taj Mahal" "# Call it sad, call it funny" "# But it's better than even money" "# That the guy's only doing it" "# For some doll. #"