"Ten million dollars for the missile chip." "Not a plan... but the chip itself." "BEAUPRE:" "Why the big price?" "BOSS:" "My clients have requested it." "I honor my clients' request." "Sounds like your clients want to build a missile... which can't be detected by radar." "I don't ask questions, Mr. Beaupre." "But whoever possesses this chip... could dominate the entire region." "COOPER:" "Good night, George." "GUARD:" "Good night, Mr. Cooper." "[Metal detector squeals]" "He's clean." "COOPER:" "Here." "COOPER:" "Uh, that's, uh--ahem-- that's what you asked for." "Air Force MSB-100 "C" Series." "If that goes in a missile, air defenses can't stop it." "Look, I got a plane to catch." "Where's my money?" "BEAUPRE:" "Here." "Hide it in the toy car." "BEAUPRE:" "We'll slip it right past airport security." "BEAUPRE:" "Let's go." "P.A.:" "Welcome to San Francisco International Airport." "Please do not leave your bags unattended." "[Beeping]" "Please remove your jewelry and place it in the bowl." "My jewelry?" "Yes, ma'am." "Step back." "Let's go." "GUARD:" "Ma'am, you'll have to wait, please." "GUARD:" "Thank you." "WOMAN:" "Thank you." "GUARD:" "Next, please." "GUARD:" "Thank you." "GUARD:" "Next, please." "Thank you." "Oh, my God." "Move." "Move!" "Young man!" "I checked the Dallas, Miami, New York, and Denver lounges." "Nothing." "JERNlGAN:" "Far as restaurants, club lounges--they're clean." "UNGER:" "When I was in the john, I didn't see anything in there." "BEAUPRE:" "It has to be on a plane." "We are going to Chicago." "UNGER:" "In the winter?" "[Sighs] I packed tropical." "pilot:" "Welcome to Chicago... where it's a balmy 29 degrees outside." "flight ATTENDANT:" "Welcome to Chicago." "Welcome to Chicago." "WOMAN:" "Bye-bye." "WOMAN:" "There you go, sir." "[Man grunts]" "MAN:" "Thanks." "Mr. Beaupre." "BEAUPRE:" "Mr. Unger, Mr. Jernigan." "alice:" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "BEAUPRE:" "Out of my way." "Move." "Did you check any bags, ma'am?" "No." "Floor it." "[Honk honk]" "She's leaving." "Hey!" "[Click]" "[Click]" "[Clicking]" "[Beep]" "It's him." "Excuse me, pop." "Can I ask you something?" "CABBY:" "What?" "JERNlGAN:" "You had a fare from the airport around 1620 hours." "Senior citizen." "Female, Caucasian." "CABBY:" "What?" "UNGER:" "About 4:30 today." "Old broad." "CABBY:" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "UNGER:" "You got the address?" "CABBY:" "Well, North Devon Park, uh, Washington Street." "JERNlGAN:" "Describe the house, please." "CABBY:" "Well, big, old... uh, Tudor-like place." "JERNlGAN:" "Details." "CABBY:" "Christmas lights, wreath on the door..." "Christmas tree at the end of the driveway." "And the driveway... it was the only one on the block that wasn't shoveled." "Unh." "Unh." "[Sighs]" "[Doorbell rings]" "I'm all done, Mrs. Hess." "I'm exhausted and sweaty... but you can't see 'cause I'm all covered up." "You were supposed to deal with the snow promptly, weren't you?" "Yes, but" "Butts are for ashtrays." "I don't care for excuses." "We had an understanding, and you broke it." "Your word is worthless." "Sorry." "That'll be no charge." "So you can tell the neighborhood... I stiffed you on a snow removal job?" "Mm-mmm." "is this a loaf of the famous San Francisco sourdough bread?" "This won't make a very tasty sandwich, will it?" "Some silly, inconsiderate boob... who took my bag... I left my bread in San Francisco." "Pardon me, Mrs. Hess... but I think I'm almost, maybe... possibly, probably... gonna be late for my dinner." "Consider this your payment." "I have no use for the silly thing." "Thank you." "And have your mother teach you... that it is rude to scratch yourself... in the presence of a lady." "Good night, Alex." "[Door closes]" "Jeez, what a grouch." "alice:" "They're all old." "Most of them are Tudor." "They all have wreaths and old Christmas trees." "And the snow's all been shoveled." "There are 14 houses." "The toy car must be in one of them." "We're going to have to search them all." "We'll come back when it's light." "UNGER:" "We're gonna work houses in broad daylight?" "BEAUPRE:" "These are the suburbs, Mr. Unger." "Nobody's home during the day." "singers:" "Whoa whoa oh." "You know I'm almost grown." "Whoa whoa oh." "Yeah, and I'm doing all right in school." "Nah ooh ooh." "They ain't said I broke no rule." "Nah ooh ooh." "I ain't never been in Dutch." "Nah ooh ooh..." "ALEX:" "There you go, Speedy." "singers:" "Nah ooh ooh." "It don't bother me to be alone." "Nah whoa whoa ooh ooh." "Anyway I'm almost grown." "Nah doo way." "Rah ta ta ta ta." "Nah doo way." "Whoa whoa." "Nah doo way." "Whoa whoa." "Nah doo way." "Whoa whoa." "Nah doo way." "Ow." "ALEX:" "Ugh." "singers:" "Nah doo way." "Whoa whoa." "Nah doo way." "Whoa whoa." "Whoa whoa oh." "Whoa whoa oh." "Nah doo way." "KAREN:" "Charlie, we went through this last year." "I told you then, I can't work weekends." "charlie:" "Why not?" "KAREN:" "I've got three kids and a husband." "Well, that's Mary Lou." "She has no life." "It means nothing to her to work weekends." "I can't do that." "I'm living in a house that's half-renovated." "My kids have activities." "They need to see their parents doing something... other than running out to the car." "JACK:" "I can't really explain over the phone... why we're so excited about this product." "MAN:" "You'll be here on Wednesday?" "JACK:" "I'll be in Cleveland on Wednesday." "Yeah, Wednesday." "We'll talk about it then, face-to-face." "Man-to-man?" "Yeah, man-to-man." "All right." "See you then." "FEMALE singers:" "Well, I'm anxious and restless." "I guess that's what it's like to be young." "Oh, well, I'm anxious and restless." "I guess that's what it's like to be young." "MALE singer:" "All I wanted was a skateboard, but now I got one." "All I wanted was a skateboard... but now I got one." "All I wanted was a skateboard... but now I got one." "All I wanted was a skateboard... but now I got one." "Hey, stupid." "[Parrot squawks]" "PARROT:" "Your brother's bug." "Your brother's bug." "Careful." "Careful!" "[Crunch]" "[Parrot squawks]" "PARROT:" "Bull's-eye." "PARROT:" "Three from downtown." "And the crowd goes wild." "Oh, man." "I hope they're not..." "[Gasps]" "Aaaahhh!" "Alex slammed the toilet seat down on his thing again!" "PARROT:" "Bull's-eye." "Alex?" "What happened?" "STAN:" "I had nothing to do with this." "JACK:" "I gotta go." "My kid slammed the toilet seat on his thing again." "I'll call you back." "Alex?" "KAREN:" "Keep that in your mouth." "ALEX:" "Mmm." "KAREN:" "Chickenpox." "STAN:" "Mom, with all due respect... it's a scam to get out of his science project... because his bug died." "What?" "His face doesn't look that bad." "But his body is covered." "Would that include his buttock region?" "Shut up!" "This is great." "If he scratches his chicken spots... we can call him scarbutt." "KAREN:" "Leave!" "JACK:" "Good-bye." "I'll go make you some soup." "I'll bring the TV up from the family room." "KAREN:" "Oh, I'm so sorry." "JACK:" "Hey." "Don't scratch." "KAREN:" "Keep that under your tongue." "I'll be right back." "Nice family, huh, Doris?" "[Squeaks]" "singer:" "Up in the morning, off to school." "JACK:" "You should get going." "STAN:" "See you later, dad." "singer:" "To teach you the golden rule." "American history and practical math." "You study them hard and hope to pass." "Rock, rock, rock 'n' roll." "singer:" "Feeling is there, body and soul." "Ring, ring goes the bell." "Mr. Greenfield's 401k is invested in the ltha fund." "You have it listed in the Midcap fund." "That's where your 3,000 shortfall is." "[Bell rings] OK?" "BRUCE:" "We'll make it up next quarter." "Bruce, can l--l have to put you on hold one second." "Alex?" "I'm on with the office." "So I think that what we need" "[Bell rings] I'm really sorry, Bruce." "Can I call you back?" " Sure." "Thanks." "[Snickers]" "Gotcha." "You rang?" "Thirsty?" "Thanks, mom." "REALTOR:" "Oh, here we are." "WOMAN:" "I wish my husband could have been here today." "REALTOR:" "Well, it's a cozy little place." "WOMAN:" "Well, isn't this charming?" "REALTOR:" "And it's available immediately." "My boys are just gonna love it here." "Yes, they will." "TV:" "Plus special care and feeding tips... next on Pets on Parade." "[Squeaks]" "Look, Doris." "[Frantic squeaking] lf you think that was amusing, wait'll you see what I do next." "Oh, yeah." "ANNOUNCER:" "This is a very important piece." "[Rock music plays]" "Hmm?" "singer:" "Ah ah ah ah." "singer:" "It's wearing me down." "[Giggles]" "[Click]" "[Click click]" "[Growls]" "[Woof]" "alice:" "Sit." "UNGER:" "I can't wait for next week." "I hate dogs." "Charlie, we've been over all this." "You know I can't come in." "Alex is sick." "Oh, God, you're kidding." "How long is he in town?" "No, that's OK." "Mary Lou can handle it." "She can." "She can access the" "No." "I know I promised you... but my child wasn't sick then." "There's no" "OK, fine." "One hour." "I can come in for one hour." "That's it." "If Alex beeps me, I'm gone." "You can fire me if you want to, but I'm gone." "And Charlie..." "You're putting me in the position of having to choose... between making a house payment or caring for my sick child... and I really don't appreciate it." "Jerk." "Did you tell Charlie that I'm desperately ill?" "Thank you, Alex." "Yes, Charlie knows you're sick." "What about the Family Leave Act?" "I just have to go pick up some stuff... and sign some papers and show my face." "I'll be gone an hour at the very most." "I called Mrs. Hess and told her you'd be alone" "You called Mrs. Hess?" "She knows I'm gonna be alone?" "She said if anything comes up, she'll be right over." "She wasn't happy about it, but" "She could get tanked up on iced tea... and come over and make me smoke cigarettes." "Oh, don't be ridiculous." "What do I do if there's a tornado?" "They don't happen in winter." "Social unrest?" "l don't think so." "Boredom?" "I hear it's deadly in old folks." "KAREN:" "Good-bye, sweetie." "What about crooks?" "I don't think that's a problem during the day, honey." "Why not?" "Nobody's home during the day." "I'm only eight, and I figured that out." "Don't you think a grown-up crook would figure it out, too?" "This is a very safe neighborhood." "There's only one road in and out of here... the doors will be locked, you have all my numbers." "I'll be home as soon as I can." "But, mom, what about dragons... giant spiders, mummies, the living dead... and other figments of my imagination?" "Alex, I can't help you there." "Only you can control your imagination." "That's a scary thought." "[Beep]" "[Woof]" "Hmm." "That's weird." "Oh, my God." "[Gasps]" "Twenty second's out." "Clear." "911 emergency." "l saw a burglar." "Are you by yourself?" "My mom just had to run out for a few minutes." "I have the chickenpox." "Can I have your address, please?" "The guy isn't at my house." "He's at the Stephans'." "Their address is 3015 Washington Street." "[Sirens]" "BEAUPRE:" "Nothing." "[Sirens]" "There's a burglar in the Stephans' house!" "I saw him with my telescope." "There was one with a dog in a gray van... and a man in running clothes." "I didn't recognize anybody but the dog." "He looked just like Johnny Allen's dog... so I called the police." "KAREN:" "You called the police?" "[Sirens]" "officer:" "Check the back." "Yes, sir." "[Alarm sounds]" "Freeze!" "[Grr]" "[Whines]" "officer:" "The burglar alarm was on and working." "There was no one in the house." "It doesn't appear that anything's been taken." "I don't know what he saw, but... there wasn't a person in that house." "I'm very sorry about this." "My son's been home with the chickenpox." "I had to run to work to pick up some papers." "I'm completely strapped." "I don't normally do this." "officer:" "Son, false alarms are no joking matter." "It wasn't a false alarm !" "There was a guy in the house-- he had two lookouts and a driver in a gray van." "He's been running a fever." "You might want to remind him that ours is serious business." "Oh, he knows." "We gave him a police set for Christmas-- not this Christmas, but last Christmas-- you know, one of those-- a badge and a hat and a whistle." "He took it very seriously." "He went around the house... arresting relatives for various crimes." "Oh." "Not real crimes" "Just for leaving the toilet seat up and snoring and..." "Absolutely. I will, yes." "Thank you." "Thank you." "You get in bed, young man." "Excuse me, but I saw a man in Karen Stephans' bedroom." "A white male a little older than dad... and he was wearing butt-inspection gloves." "Oh, I have warned you about that telescope." "You look through it long enough you'll start seeing things... whether or not they're there." "I guess you have to be 35 before anyone listens." "Don't get smart with me, Alex." "Sick or not, I am very angry with you." "You have caused a lot of trouble today." "We have to replace the Stephans' door." "Think we're happy about that?" "I saw what I saw." "Peter Beaupre..." "Earl Unger..." "Burton Jernigan... and Alice Ribbons." "They were ticketed under known aliases... but didn't board the Hong Kong flight." "I believe they're still in the U.S.... but beyond that, I don't know." "Ladies and gentlemen... we've got to find that chip." "alice:" "What went wrong with the burglar alarm?" "BEAUPRE:" "Nothing." "It wasn't the alarm." "UNGER:" "Then who called the police?" "Mr. Jernigan, care to speculate?" "alice:" "Cars came and went." "The mailman came by." "We could have a watcher on any house in any street." "It could be anybody." "BEAUPRE:" "I don't think it's just anybody." "I think it's someone on our street." "Someone we are not tracking." "Someone we've missed." "[Horn honks]" "Dad, cab's here." "JACK:" "Oh, shoot." "Your mom's not back yet." "Well, all right." "Mom had to take some documents to the bank." "She can't be gone more than a few minutes." "Mrs. Hess is home." "You'll be fine, OK?" "My beeper number's on the speed dial." "Second button." "Mom's on the first button." "Right." "Yeah." "So, you're OK?" "Positutely." "Give me a kiss." "All right." "Dad?" "Listen." "This is a very safe and secure neighborhood." "We have great police, as you learned yesterday." "Nothing bad is going to happen to you." "OK?" "Dad?" "Yeah." "Got your tickets?" "Yep." "Got your wallet?" "Yeah, it's in my pocket." "Where's your pocket?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "ALEX:" "Bye, dad." "She's leaving." "Three-Zero-Two-Five is all clear." "Red sedan heading south." "Turning right." "Hold." "[Gasps]" "[Pager beeps]" "Ohh." "Hi." "You are just in time..." "Mr. Pruitt." "[Pager beeps] Wait." "Wait." "Wait." "Oh, no." "[Sirens]" "Yes." "[Sirens approaching]" "Abort." "Abort." "Evacuate the area." "I'm on my own." "[Starts engine]" "Let's go." "officer:" "Move!" "Move!" "officer:" "Over there!" "Cool." "Come on." "[Children yelling]" "Nothing." "OTHER officer:" "Let's check upstairs." "So, uh, where's the burglar?" "There is no burglar." "Just a kid home sick from school making false alarms." "How embarrassing." "Mm-hmm." "It's the second time in two days you've called the police." "It's a very serious matter when a person calls the police." "I saw a burglar yesterday, and I saw a burglar today." "KAREN:" "Alex, listen to the chief." "There was no one in that house." "What about Johnny Allen's dog?" "I talked to Johnny last night." "His dog was kidnapped on Monday morning." "Did he see it happen?" "KAREN:" "Alex, apologize to the chief... and go up to your room." "Excuse me for being a good citizen." "KAREN:" "Alex!" "I'm very sorry." "This will not happen again, will it, honey?" "KAREN:" "Really, I promise you." "chief:" "We wouldn't want to discourage him from calling... in the event that something real ever does happen." "[Parrot laughs]" "PARROT:" "Loser." "Shut up." "Make me." "STAN:" "Now that you've pranked the cops twice... it goes on your permanent record." "For the rest of your life, if you call for help... it won't come." "STAN:" "Dad missed his plane." "MOLLY:" "He was late for a meeting with his boss." "We have to fork over much needed family cash... to the Stephans and to an evil octogenarian... so they can have their doors repaired." "MOLLY:" "And even worse..." "The world laughs, Alex." "You've stained the family name." "[Parrot laughs]" "First the Stephans, then Mrs. Hess." "I agree, Doris." "The next stop is the Alcotts' house." "What kind of a burglar goes into a house... and doesn't take anything?" "Do you know what I think?" "I think they're looking for something special." "They're looking in everybody's house... 'cause they don't know who has it." "Question is... what is it?" "If nobody's gonna do anything about this... I'll just have to do it myself." "[Woof woof]" "[Gasps] [Tires squeal]" "I am so sorry." "I'm clearly not awake." "It's all right." "Have a nice day." "I'll try." "[Whimpers]" "[Static transmissions]" "[Minivan door closes]" "Watch this, Doris." "Huh?" "Hmm." "[Meow]" "Look, Doris." "[Squeaks]" "Boo!" "[Meow]" "[Squeaks happily]" "I forgot about the stairs." "[Squeaks]" "Hmm." "Got him, Doris." "We got him." "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." "You are so busted." "Hah!" "Aah!" "[Squeaks] I have it." "The toy car." "It's videotaping me." "Huh?" "What?" "Come back on that last message." "Hoo-aah!" "Aah!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Grrr!" "Come on." "Go, go, go, go, go!" "[Tires squeal]" "Don't spin." "Don't spin." "[Gasps]" "CLAUDE AKlNS:" "You there." "Now, you was friendly to me." "I don't wanna kill you." "CHUCK CONNORS:" "You got money doesn't belong to you." "AKlNS:" "Now, you back off." "This ain't your business." "CONNORS:" "All right, now." "Drop the saddle bags." "[Telephone rings]" "[Ring]" "[Snoring]" "Brnnng brnnng!" "PARROT:" "Hello." "This is Karen." "Hi." "How's it going?" "Huh?" "Yeah, I'm running late for the office again." "I think blue chips are overvalued." "Technology stocks will be good." "Technology stocks." "Listen, I'm in the shower." "Can I call you back?" "PARROT [Singing]:" "Bad, bad Leroy Brown." "Baddest cat in the whole damn town." "PARROT [Singing]:" "Badder than ol' King Kong." "Meaner than a junkyard dog." "Come on, come on, come on." "See ya!" "[Tires squeal]" "Ohh!" "Unh." "Unh." "The car's outside." "I got a woman in the house." "Get over here." "Come on, get up!" "Unh." "[Gasps]" "Aah!" "Ohh!" "[Crash]" "Ow!" "Ooh!" "[Gasps]" "Shh!" "Come on!" "Tsk." "Everybody's in a hurry." "It's a video camera." "Someone's onto us." "UNGER:" "You think it really matters?" "Chip's in the car." "We're at the airport in 45 minutes." "BEAUPRE:" "Where's Alice?" "[Crash]" "What happened?" "There is a woman in the house." "I'll go back in and deal with her." "Get the chip." "Hmm." "Unh." "Whoa!" "Unh." "Yes!" "I got it." "Ma'am?" "May I have a word with you?" "PARROT:" "Don't come in." "I'm naked." "PARROT:" "What's on your mind, monkey butt?" "Come on." "Come" "PARROT:" "What's that funky smell?" "I lost it!" "What?" "!" "Come on!" "Go, go, go." "It's going out of range!" "I got it!" "Aah!" "Unh!" "Aah!" "[Laughs]" "Unh." "[Tires squeal] I see it." "Look out." "[Tires squeal]" "Aah!" "Ohh!" "BEAUPRE:" "Jernigan, which direction?" "[Tires squeal] lt got past me." "It's heading south on Adams... but I'm right behind the little" "[Tires squeal]" "[Minivan door opens] lt's off the street, going through backyards... heading west." "Alice, what's your position?" "Ow!" "Ooh!" "Unh!" "Fourth house." "Move to the alley." "I see it!" "It's going through the hedge." "Jernigan, position." "You're there." "I got it!" "alice:" "I got it!" "Aah!" "[Gasps]" "Ow!" "Unh!" "[Snickers]" "Unger, what's your position?" "Heading to Washington Street." "JERNlGAN:" "I didn't copy." "Where?" "UNGER:" "I said I'm heading to Wa--Aah-aah-aah!" "Oh!" "Unh!" "UNGER:" "Stop, you nitwit!" "Aah!" "Unh!" "I don't see anything." "I'll look around." "[Exhales deeply] I don't have it yet." "[Creaking]" "BEAUPRE:" "We're out of time." "Give it up." "[Gasps]" "They got the tape." "Why did they still chase the toy car?" "It's not that expensive." "I'm sure they don't have enough time to play with it." "Whoa." "Whoa." "Hmm." "Look, Doris." "[Squeaks]" "Computer chip, huh?" "Where did you find it?" "I found it in a remote control car... that I got for shoveling snow for Mrs. Hess." "She lives across the street from us." "It says "U.S. Air Force" on it... but you have to look under a magnifying glass to see it." "Kid, a lot of toys have "Air Force" written on them." "This is a recruiting office, son." "We don't handle matters like this." "Can I give you the number on the chip... so you can call someone?" "[Sighs]" "Do you think we should tell mom about the chip?" "[Squeaks]" "Yeah, I guess you're right." "The less they know, the better." "Those guys are bad news." "UNGER:" "I can't tell you how much I appreciate... you hitting me with the minivan." "JERNlGAN:" "Never let your emotions... get the best of you." "You weren't paying attention." "You should have been more vigilant." "UNGER:" "You should have taken driver's ed." "alice:" "It's a kid." "It has to be a kid." "UNGER:" "I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old... and I'll have Burton Jernigan to thank." "The cops come twice." "They don't believe the kid." "He takes matters into his own hands." "It can't be anything else." "If that's the case... I say take no chances." "Tomorrow, whack every kid in the neighborhood." "Burn 'em all." "Then look for that stupid car." "My thoughts keep turning to number 3026." "It's in the operating radius of the toy car." "It's on the sightlines of all the houses I've been in." "[Ring]" "[Ring]" "[Ring]" "[Ring]" "[Ring, beep]" "Hello?" "BOSS:" "Do you have the missile chip?" "BEAUPRE:" "We are close." "If I don't have the chip in 24 hours, Mr. Beaupre... I will have no choice but to terminate the mission... and nullify all the participants." "You understand, don't you?" "Guys, dad's home tomorrow night." "I have my quarterly client meeting from noon till 5:00... so I you and Molly come straight home... to stay with Alex until dad gets home." "MOLLY:" "I can't." "No way." "lmpossible. I have gymnastics." "l have hockey." "Do I need to repeat myself?" "Weren't you putting the bite on Mrs. Hess to watch him?" "MOLLY:" "Yeah." "She's a lot more responsible than me and Stan." "Mrs. Hess is a backup." "Unless there's an emergency... I really don't want to have to call her." "I'll be fine by myself." "STAN:" "Well, there you have it." "Settled." "Alex, could you pass me the false alarms?" "Excuse me. I'm sorry." "I meant the peas." "[Telephone rings] Ho ho." "KAREN:" "Hello?" "Oh, hi." "Uh-huh." "Yeah, he's been home with the chickenpox." "Oh." "Alex, do you know a Bradley Clovis?" "Yeah." "This is his mother on the phone." "Did you take a toy car from him?" "[Gasps]" "No." "He has one of those remote control cars... but he got it from the woman across the street." "We have it." "Alex, what is the matter with you?" "You don't disconnect my calls." "Don't talk to Mrs. Clovis, please!" "Why not?" "She's dangerous!" "Dangerous?" "Honey, what are-- lt was lies." "They're all lies." "It wasn't her." "What do you mean?" "Call her back." "I think you'll be surprised." "Outgoing call." "Rerouted." "[Telephone rings]" "Hello." "Clovises'." "Hi. I beg your pardon." "We just" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Did I disconnect you..." "Karen?" "No, no. lt was me." "We're renovating." "The phone lines are a mess." "ALEX [Whispering]:" "They intercepted the phone call." "Listen, I didn't mean to accuse your son." "I'm certain Bradley just misplaced his toy car." "KAREN:" "Isn't that the way they are?" "They lose something... they immediately assume it's been stolen." "Little boys do have wild imaginations, don't they?" "Yes, they do." "They're gonna come after me tomorrow, Doris." "Nobody will listen-- not my parents or Molly... or Stan or the police... or the Air Force." "Nobody." "So what do I do?" "[Squeaks] lf that means hide, you are wrong." "[Squeaks] lf that means fight, you're right." "[Sighs]" "They'll understand when I'm done." "They'll know I was telling the truth." "I'm not gonna cry or feel sad or scared." "They're grownups, and they're criminals... but this is my neighborhood, and this is my house... and no matter how old they are, no matter how big they are... they can't beat me here." "They can't beat me at home." "PARROT:" "Rawk!" "Ohh." "PARROT:" "Want to buy a little silence?" "Double or nothing." "Rawk!" "[Snoring]" "OlNGO BOlNGO [Singing]:" "Where are we going?" "Are we going home again?" "Home again, home again." "Home again." "OlNGO BOlNGO:" "Where are we going?" "Are we going home again?" "Home again, home again." "Home again." "OlNGO BOlNGO:" "Where are we going?" "Home again, go home again." "Home again." "We're watching a major snowstorm... that's bearing down on Chicagoland." "As you look at the latest radar... you can see the snow's increasing in intensity." "Heavy snow's in the forecast... and residents are urged to stay indoors if possible." "Approaching target." "All clear." "Here we go, Doris." "[Dog whistle]" "[Woof woof]" "Whoa!" "No!" "Stop!" "[Dog barking]" "First we free the hostages." "alice:" "Switching on the fiber optics." "[Dog barks]" "[Doorbell cuts off]" "KAREN:" "Alex, can you get the door?" "[Dog whistle]" "No answer." "[Dog whimpering]" "Are we certain target has not left?" "JERNlGAN:" "Negative." "We'd have seen that." "[Dog whistle]" "[Dog whimpers]" "[Dog whimpers]" "I repeat-- there is no movement inside." "Permission to enter." "Aah!" "No, Rollie, no!" "No!" "No!" "Aah!" "[Screaming]" "[Woof woof]" "JERNlGAN:" "Alice?" "[Sputters]" "Hey!" "Go home." "Go home." "[Dog barking]" "[Huffs]" "[Rip]" "[Gasps]" "alice:" "I need assistance." "I'm exposed." "Maintain your position." "Do not--l repeat--do not draw attention to yourself." "Pick her up." "We'll move in after the storm hits." "We'll let mother nature cover our tracks." "Sir, this just came in from the Air Force." "Some kid named Pruitt... called a recruiting office in Chicago." "Said he found a computer chip in a toy car." "We're going to Chicago." "Did you watch the weather for me?" "ALEX:" "Yep." "No problems." "Coat's over there." "KAREN:" "Oh, thanks." "I wanted to wear my brown one." "Wait!" "Why don't you go fill your commuter cup... with yummy hot coffee, and I'll get your coat for you?" "Thanks, hon." "KAREN:" "I'll make you a sandwich." "[Exhales deeply]" "ALEX:" "Here's your coat." "KAREN:" "Thanks." "Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry about this week." "It breaks my heart to come and go like this." "It shouldn't be this way." "It's OK. lt's not you." "It's the times." "Thanks, hon." "KAREN:" "You have your beeper?" "ALEX:" "Yep." "KAREN:" "Great." "I'll call every half hour." "KAREN:" "I'll go online with you... and keep the connection open all day." "I'll have my laptop with me at all my meetings." "We'll be in contact at all times." "Plus, I have my cellular, and you've got my fax number." "ALEX:" "We're wired." "Oh, my gosh, did Mrs. Clovis call?" "She was gonna stop by before I left... to confirm that Bradley's name was on the remote control car." "She stopped by when you were in the shower." "Did you let her have it?" "Big time." "I hope she felt foolish." "It was painful." "OK." "Be good." "Be safe." "Keep an eye on the old place." "I got it all covered." "[Door closes]" "Here we go, Doris." "It's just you and me." "[Squeak squeak]" "You mean there's someone else?" "PARROT:" "Get ready to rumble!" "Play ball!" "ROCK singer:" "This is my town." "Watch your step if you come around." "I don't think I know you." "Well, maybe it's time to show you." "This is my home." "I'll be standing here alone... and if you're ready to see hell... come on in and ring the bell." "Hello, Mr. Hip." "Finally you got your hit." "Coming from the nowhere." "Sliding 'cross the clover." "Hello, Lady Slick." "Did you pull another trick?" "Beautiful makeover." "Make the perfect cover." "Didn't you know... things don't come easy, so... this is my town." "Watch your step if you come around." "And if you're ready to see hell..." "PARROT:" "Aha." "The old switcheroo." "Come on." "PARROT:" "It's show time." "[Parrot makes wolf whistle]" "PARROT:" "If those are real, I'm an eagle." "ROCK singer:" "Perfect stranger, re-arranger." "I think we're in super danger." "alice:" "Block the street." "ROCK singer:" "This is my town." "Watch your step if you come around... and if you're ready to see hell... come on in and ring the bell." "Ring the bell, ring the bell." "Ring the bell." "Ring the bell." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in, come on." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on." "[Ring]" "Hello?" "Hi, Mrs. Hess." "It's Karen Pruitt." "Could you possibly look in on Alex for me?" "MRS. HESS:" "I'm just going out." "KAREN:" "I'm at work." "I'm really in a bind." "Oh." "Well...how long?" "KAREN:" "It wouldn't be for more than an hour or so." "MRS. HESS:" "All right." "No cooking." ""Call Mrs. Hess." ""Well, she's retired." ""What else could she possibly be doing?"" "A Baby-sitter." "Do they invite me into their house for a holiday eggnog?" "Well, of course not." "BEAUPRE:" "Look who woke from her nap." "PARROT:" "Crooks at 30 yards and closing." "Let the party begin." "alice:" "Good afternoon." "My husband and I have just moved into your neighborhood." "What do you want, a wilkie button?" "A package was to be delivered to us... but the driver got confused, and perhaps he brought it here." "MRS. HESS:" "Nope." "No delivery here." "The delivery company said that no one answered the door... and the driver left it in the garage." "MRS. HESS:" "Sometimes they leave stuff at the back door." "Why are you closing the door?" "I left my heart in San Francisco." "[Door slams shut]" "Looks like that little rugrat has the place locked up tight." "[Electricity sizzling]" "[Unger chuckling]" "Jernigan, I think I'm gonna to enjoy this." "It's been a long time since I was a kid." "You forget how incredibly stupid they are." "JERNlGAN:" "You be careful." "Sometimes when kids get scared, they wet their pants." "Ooh!" "Ohh!" "Unh!" "Ooh-ooh-ooh!" "Ooh-ooh-ooh!" "Ooh-ooh-ooh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Unh!" "Yee-aah!" "Unh!" "Aah!" "Aah-aah-aah-aah!" "Aah!" "Yaah!" "Ehh." "Huhh." "Mr. Unger." "Aah!" "Ohh!" "Ahh!" "Ohh." "[High-pitched] I'm all right." "[Sizzling]" "Ohh!" "[Clattering]" "[Growling]" "Hyah!" "Uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh!" "Aah-aah-aah-aah!" "Aah!" "Unh!" "Aah..." "[Moaning]" "Mr. Unger, what are you doing?" "Don't touch the yarn." "It's wired." "UNGER:" "Kid's got the place booby-trapped." "Make no assumptions." "Watch the welcome mat." "This boy's clever." "Have you tried the door?" "Uh, not yet." "Let me point something out to you." "[Roof creaking]" "Missed that." "Stand clear." "Maybe he's not so clever after all." "Yeah, l--l just think we're having an off day." "[Gasps]" "BOTH:" "Ohh!" "A thought for you to consider:" "At airport security... make sure you have the right package." "I certainly hope that you're not... fond of that little boy across the street." "[Muffled speech]" "[Grunting] I'll leave this open." "[Muffled]:" "Wait." "Fresh air will be good for you." "[Sizzling]" "Ohh." "Ohh." "You think you're smart, you little brat." "Unger, what's your status?" "Unger." "Unger?" "Whoo." "Hwah!" "[Yelling]" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Whoo!" "BEAUPRE:" "Brrrrr." "UNGER:" "Unh." "Heads up." "How did that happen?" "l don't know." "Unh." "[Clang]" "Ouch." "[Both moaning]" "You got hit with a book?" "UNGER:" "Books." "Plural." "A trunk full of books." "Then a set of weights." "We got hit twice, you dumb broad." "Excuse me, Mr. Unger." "I didn't get taken down by an infant." "BEAUPRE:" "We didn't anticipate the defense the boy would mount." "I'll go in the front." "Mr. Unger, you take the north side." "Alice, you take the south side." "Where is Mr. Jernigan?" "Ohh ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ooh!" "DEAN martin:" "Oh, the weather outside is frightful..." "DEAN martin:" "Oh, the weather outside is frightful... but the fire is so delightful." "And there's simply no place to go." "DEAN martin ON P.A.:" "Let it snow... let it snow, let it snow." "WOMAN ON P.A.:" "Attention, travelers." "All flights to Chicago continue to be delayed... due to severe weather." "Please stand by for further details." "[Power tool whirring]" "Ohh!" "Ow-wow-wow-wow!" "Wow!" "Hi." "Eee..." "Aah!" "Ow!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "You can run, but you can't hide, junior." "Surprise." "[Gasps]" "Aah!" "Aah!" "What a loser." "[Water running]" "Ooh!" "Ooh ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Unh!" "Ohh." "Ohh!" "JERNlGAN:" "Ahh." "Ha." "Ugh." "Ew!" "Aah." "Aah." "Aah." "[Coughing]" "I got him !" "[Gasps]" "Unh!" "Aah!" "Aaarrrgh!" "[GRUNTS]" "Ohh!" "[Gasps]" "Aah!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ooh!" "Heh heh heh." "Ohh!" "[Power tool whirring]" "[Doll crying]" "[Pumps shotgun]" "You are dead, kid." "Unh!" "[Agonized moan]" "Whoa." "Unh." "Unh." "Ohh." "[Groans]" "[Gasps]" "Now things are lookin' up." "[Gasps]" "Gotcha!" "Whoa!" "See ya." "Aah!" "[Sniffs]" "Ugh!" "Yuck." "Steady." "Yeah." "alice:" "Well, well, well." "Nice try, kid." "Whoa-oh-oh-oh!" "[Sizzling]" "[Radio static]" "[Static stops]" "[Pbblt]" "[Bones crack]" "Ooh!" "Whee-ya!" "Hmm." "Hmm." "Aah!" "Unh!" "Aah!" "[Crash]" "Alice?" "Aah!" "Ohh!" "I'm coming down!" "Waah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Mr. Jernigan, Mr. Unger!" "Welcome." "You got a haircut?" "[Clunking]" "Are you almost done in there?" "Don't start with me." "I'll wait." "[Telephone rings]" "[Ring]" "[Ring]" "[Gasps]" "[Ring]" "[Ring]" "JERNlGAN:" "Let's move." "[Ring]" "alice:" "Ugh." "What stinks?" "UNGER:" "Shut up." "[Ring]" "Hello?" "KAREN:" "Honey, you're all out of breath. ls something wrong?" "No, no." "Everything's fine." "I'm so worried." "The weather is terrible." "[Spraying] I'm gonna come home right now." "No, no." "Take your time, really." "Don't come home, mom." "Um, why don't you pick up Stan and Molly from school?" "KAREN:" "Are you sure?" "ALEX:" "Yeah. I'm playing Chinese checkers with Mrs. Hess." "KAREN:" "You're not smoking, are you?" "No. I got to go." "Mrs. Hess gets nutty when you make her wait." "OK." "Play fair." "Always." "What a brave little fellow." "alice:" "Mr. Jernigan." "Living room--clear." "Good." "UNGER:" "Mmm." "Nothing in the kitchen." "alice:" "Let's organize." "Mr. Unger, you turn left." "Mr. Jernigan, follow me, slowly." "Go, Doris." "Ah." "alice:" "Mr. Unger, go left." "Cover him." "I'll cover the stairs." "[Gasps] I'm comin' for you, shorty... comin' to pay you back for all the misery you caused me." "Mr. Unger, what are you doing?" "Kid's in the closet." "Scared him a little just before I grab him." "And behind door number one..." "Towels." "Hmmph." "I saw this door close." "Idiot." "Would I make it up?" "Why?" "What's the point?" "We working on commission here?" "Whew." "Ah-choo!" "[Gasps]" "[Sirens]" "[School bell rings]" "What's going on?" "You're Mrs. Pruitt from Washington Street?" "Yes." "Agent Stuckey, fbi." "I came to talk to your son." "You called the Air Force about a computer chip... in a remote control car?" "No." "Oh, God, it's Alex." "It's--it's my--my other son." "Why?" "What's happened?" "He may be in danger." "He's not here." "He's at home." "Well, let's move." "Why is he in danger?" "She asked you a question, sir." "I'm not at liberty to discuss it, son." "The "it" you're referring to... is my little brother." "We think he intercepted... a top-secret electronic device... stolen from a defense department contractor... by a group of international criminals... working for a North Korean terrorist organization." "[Whispers] Mr. Jernigan." "Cover me." "[Shower running]" "[Singing in shower] Green-eyed lady." "Ocean lady." "Soothing every raging wave... that comes." "ALEX:" "Go, Doris, go." "[Squeaks]" "[Singing]:" "Green-eyed lady." "Ocean lady." "Soothing every raging wave... that comes." "Green-eyed lady." "Lovely lady." "Strolling slowly... towards the sun." "PARROT:" "Sorry, Charlie." "[Parrot laughs]" "PARROT:" "This just ain't your day." "Aah." "alice:" "Shut up." "[Squeaking]" "Aah!" "What?" "Don't move." "Alice?" "Don't...move." "Alice?" "What?" "Alice?" "Shh-shh-shh." "Alice?" "Hyah!" "[High-pitched]:" "Oooohhh!" "Excellent." "Run, shorty, run, shorty!" "Come on, Doris!" "The kid!" "Doris, come on!" "I got you now, you little rat!" "I got him !" "Unh!" "Unh!" "Whoa!" "Unh!" "[Panting]" "Ohh!" "You...smacked my winkie." "Well, if you changed your shorts once in a while... maybe you wouldn't have rats in your pants!" "Come here, you little rugrat!" "alice:" "Where is he?" "Stay here, Doris." "[Squeaks]" "Yikes." "Come on!" "He's been watching us the whole time." "He had a camera on us." "You're not gonna find me up there... you big, dumb, lawbreaking knuckleheads!" "ALL:" "He's outside!" "Recognize this?" "UNGER:" "How'd he get outside?" "alice:" "The same way you're gonna get outside." "How?" "Jump!" "Go!" "Don't push!" "alice:" "It's a trampoline." "You're jumping onto a trampoline." "UNGER:" "I presume you won't be joining us?" "No. I'll be covering you from here." "Go!" "alice:" "How comforting!" "JERNlGAN:" "He's gettin' away!" "UNGER:" "Yeah, this is a snap." "This is a snap." "Go!" "[Yelling]" "Huh?" "[gargling]" "JERNlGAN:" "Oh, God!" "UNGER:" "Cold." "Very cold." "[Screaming]" "Aah!" "Aah!" "[Dumbwaiter approaching]" "Of course." "Here I come, you little brat." "[Screaming]" "Ouch." "Mrs. Hess!" "Mrs. Hess." "Mrs. Hess?" "MRS. HESS:" "Hmm?" "You're OK." "I'm here now." "BEAUPRE:" "Well... lt's Alex, isn't it?" "Today you learned something-- there is a price to be paid for being a good citizen." "In your zeal to aid your neighbor... you finally stepped into one of my traps." "[Yelling in foreign language]" "Can Mrs. Hess go inside?" "She's very old and very cold." "Please?" "Give me the chip!" "ALEX:" "It doesn't belong to you." "It's not yours." "[Sighs]" "The chip, son." "Give me the chip." "That doesn't belong to you, either." "What?" "That's not your gun." "This is your gun." "Yah!" "Huhh!" "Gotcha." "Here, sit down, Mrs. Hess." "Thank you, Alex." "ALEX:" "These are times that call for soup." "Any favorites?" "MRS. HESS:" "No, thank you." "I'm--l'm fine, honey." "Ha." "ALEX:" "You know, Mrs. Hess... it's really cold outside." "You're a pretty tough old bird." "And you're a very sweet young man." "I just never took the time to notice." "You're not alone in that." "[Sirens]" "Wow." "Johnson, Williams, go around back." "Freeze!" "You gotta be kidding." "Let's go!" "Move it!" "Move it!" "Alex." "Mom !" "Ohh." "Ohh!" "Mom..." "You're hugging and kissing me in front of the cops." "Oh, Alex." "I'm so sorry." "I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you." "This is very cool." "MOLLY:" "Bud, you're a hero." "Are you Alex?" "Yeah." "Agent Stuckey, fbi." "Here's the chip." "There's a senior citizen across the street... who need some soup and a doctor to check her feet." "There's 2 guys in our pool and a woman in our basement." "The other one's gone." "This him?" "Yup." "Seven years I've been after this guy." "He always manages to slip away." "Thanks." "officer:" "It's just the three, sir." "STUCKEY:" "Where's your boss?" "STUCKEY:" "Get 'em out of here." "officer:" "Yes, sir." "Let's go, popsicle." "Come on." "[Squawking]" "Ha ha ha!" "PARROT:" "Lucy, I'm home!" "PARROT:" "What's on your mind, monkey butt?" "[Gasps]" "PARROT [Singing]:" "Bad, bad Leroy Brown." "Shhhhhh." "PARROT:" "Houston, we have a problem." "Counting down, in five, four, three... two..." "Take it." "PARROT:" "Double or nothing." "I only have one." "PARROT:" "We have ignition." "It's show time!" "Now, I'll be there in just a minute." "OK, bye." "Driver, it's the big old Tudor place... with the Christmas lights in the driveway... that hasn't been shoveled." "Eh?" "That one right there." "Oh." "[Hammering]" "Um..." "Have you ever had the chickenpox?" "I had the chickenpox... when Herbert Hoover was in the White House." "[Laughter]" "Hello." "Hey there, stranger." "Hi." "Dad!" "Hi, sweetie." "Hey!" "Come here." "Let me see." "Ah, you don't look any worse for the wear." "They couldn't touch me." "The computer company that got their chip boosted... is giving Alex a reward." "It's a 6-figure sum, which is extremely cool." "So, did you bring me anything?" "As a matter of fact, I did." "Come here." "JACK:" "Think you can drive that?" "ALEX:" "I think we can handle it." "PARROT:" "Awk!" "Gentlemen, start your engines!" "360, 360!" "Man overboard!" "Say cheese." "ROCK singer:" "This is my town." "Watch your step if you come around." "I don't think I know you." "Well, maybe it's time to show you... this is my home." "I'll be standing here alone... and if you're ready to see hell... come on in and ring the bell." "Hello, Mr. Hip." "Finally you got your hit." "Coming from the nowhere." "Sliding 'cross the clover." "Hello, Lady Slick." "Did you pull another trick?" "Beautiful makeover." "Make the perfect cover." "Didn't you know... things don't come easy, so... this is my town." "Watch your step if you come around." "I don't think I know you... but maybe it's time to show you." "This is my home." "I'll be standing here alone... and if you're ready to see hell... come on in and ring the bell." "Yeah." "Oh." "Perfect stranger, re-arranger." "I think we're in super danger." "This is my town." "Watch your step if you come around." "I don't think I know you." "Well, maybe it's time to show you... this is my home." "I'll be standing here alone... and if you're ready to see hell... come on in and ring the bell." "Ring the bell, ring the bell." "Ring the bell." "Ring the bell." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in, come on." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in." "Come on in, come on." "Yeah."