"Are my bees ready for the grand finale?" "(RUMBLING)" "Yes, my pet!" "Come forth and show thy bulbous!" "(ROARING)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Oh, shit!" "(HISSING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Oh, gods!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Over here!" "(ROARING)" "Hey, over here!" "Over here!" "Bring your fight to me!" "Shit!" "(HISSING)" "(GROANING)" "Thadeous!" "Shit!" "Sir!" "(YELLS)" "I've been bitten!" "I can't move my leg." "You've got to suck out the venom." "I don't want to suck it!" "You suck it!" "I can't suck my own venom!" "THADEOUS:" "Yes, you can." "I'll help you!" "Suck it!" "Suck your venom." "I can't reach it with my mouth!" "Courtney, suck the venom!" "I've never sucked..." "Suck it!" "And who have we here?" "A sprightly little warrior you are." "THADEOUS:" "Suck it!" "Right there!" "Suck it!" "I will make nice when I enter you!" "It's coming!" "It's coming!" "(MUFFLED YELL)" "Courtney spit the load!" "Don't swallow the venom!" "Spit it!" "(ROARING)" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Kill it!" "Fuck it up!" "(GROANS)" "Yes!" "(GROANS)" "(PANTING)" "(HISSING)" "(GROANING)" "(MOANING)" "What?" "(WHIMPERING)" "Who is he that dares destroy my beautiful baby?" "(MARTEETEE SOBBING)" "(CROWD GASPING)" "It's a woman." "I can see." "Marteetee, when I was a child you enslaved my father and slaughtered him in this very arena." "Today I avenge him." "First by killing the beast, second, by killing you." "Well, well, my tiny bee... (GROANS)" "Oh, shit." "(GROANING)" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "(RUMBLING)" "Let's go!" "We're going!" "(YELLING)" "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "(BOTH YELLING)" "Brother, are you all right?" "I'm fine!" "Come on, let's go!" "This way!" "(GROANING LOUDLY)" "FABIOUS:" "Excuse me, my lady." "May I but speak with you a moment?" "I'd like to introduce myself." "I am Prince Fabious of Mourne and this is my brother, Thadeous, and his squire, young Courtney." "Hello." "We'd like to thank you for your help with that dread beast." "I have no time for your maiden pleasantries." "My quest continues to the north." "FABIOUS:" "As does ours." "I thought maybe for the sake of both our quests, that we could travel together." "At least, until we reach civilization." "THADEOUS:" "Yes, civilization." "We are good men, we're questing to save my..." "Excuse my brother." "He's not familiar with the customs of the road." "Do not touch me." "Why are you making me look bad?" "A warrior on the road never divulges the nature of his quest." "One never knows if his aim may conflict with another's." "Yes, I was just being nice." "As we are on the same path," "I suppose you boys may follow me to Muldiss Darton." "From there I seek navigation and march alone." "We thank you." "And may we have your name?" "I'm Isabel." "The last living member of the Harshbarger order." "Well, Isabel, my brother and myself will ensure that you run into no danger while you travel with us." "With our huge muscles, we shall protect you." "Who?" "Protect what?" "To be fair, everyone will protect each other equally, I'm certain." "But we will protect her more because we are men." "Boo!" "(LAUGHS) Gods!" "What are you doing, Brother?" "What right do you have, scaring a man like that?" "Oh." "What right have you to spy on a bathing woman from the shrubs?" "THADEOUS:" "I'm simply keeping an eye on her." "She is not like one of our dimwitted chamber maids that let me take them from behind." "This woman has me vexed." "What exactly would it take for one to tame such an adventurous slut?" "I imagine she'd want her man to be honorable, bold, brave, know his way around a blade." "Oh, god, she's looking at us." "Remain perfectly still." "Mmm." "We're almost out of wood." "(FABIOUS CLEARS THROAT)" "Courtney, perhaps you and I should go and collect some firewood." "Yeah." "If you two wouldn't mind tending these embers." "No, of course not." "Tend away." "Care for another bite of some meat?" "You're not much for talking, are you?" "A true warrior must keep her focus on the road." "One never knows when death might be dealt." "Mmm." "Yes, of course." "I've been involved in many death dealings in focus-al moments." "Yes, by your childish shrieks in the face of Marteetee's beast, one could see as much." "What exactly is your problem with me?" "Do you have a sword stuck so far up your butt-hole that you cannot even enjoy yourself for one moment?" "My quest affords me no such luxury." "Not even on a tender night like this?" "The moons glimmering, the cold air licking your tits." "On a night just like this I returned home from a hunt to find a bloodbath." "Nothing remained of my six beloved brothers save for their severed heads on stakes." "Their eyes had been plucked, their teeth taken as tokens." "I wear this bracelet, forged of the steel of their shields, as a constant reminder of my vow to avenge them." "My only advice would just be to keep your head up, hang in there, live every day to the fullest, have sex as much as you can by campfire when you're all alone and your brother is out gathering wood." "Just simple things like that." "Do you think he'll make love with her tonight?" "(LAUGHS) Not a chance." "(SIGHS)" "Either way, I've spent a lifetime often envious of him." "Envious of Thadeous?" "All the times that he could sit back and have a laugh and really enjoy the moment." "And I was up on stage wearing make-up to cover my acne." "My hair perfectly coiffed, even for war." "(CHUCKLES)" "I think you misunderstand the situation." "He constantly gazes at you with such eager eyes." "Sometimes he borrows your armor and he prances around the courtyard, flailing your sword, going, "I am Fabious!" ""Look at me slay dragon."" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "He does it out of love." "He loves you, sir." "He adores you." "I know tragedy as well." "My mother is dead." "I have someone dead in my family, too." "Also, recently my brother's bride-to-be was stolen by a devious wizard." "Wizard?" "Mmm-hmm." "Huh." "If you could keep a secret, it was Leezar." "Leezar?" "Mmm-hmm." "Ah." "I understand he's a very dangerous man." "Duh." "That's why Fabious turned to me." "The most bold and brave and honorable man that he knows." "Mmm." "We aim to kill the magical cocksucker." "Do you see this compass?" "What a fascinating device." "It will lead us to a labyrinth which holds a blade." "The only weapon strong enough to defeat the wizard." "Well, perhaps I misjudged you." "It's not your fault." "I know I may seem like I have a rugged exterior, but underneath it all, I have a golden heart that beats and beats." "(SQUEAKING)" "(CHITTERING)" "So beautiful." "(SQUEALING)" "That poor creature." "That's right." "(SNORTING)" "Look at yourself." "Why would anyone ever want to be with you?" "Hmm." "I'm not sure, really." "Oh, yeah." "Perhaps, because I'm rich," "I live in a castle and I can do magic." "Okay, then why did you need to kidnap me if you're so desirable?" "Because I'm the prophecy born, maybe." "Or I'm going to have a dragon soon which I'll be able to control, and it's going to give me ultimate power." "How?" "Because you can make a dragon do things?" "Yes." "I could make it devour people or breathe fire over the Kingdom of Mourne." "Mmm." "Sounds flimsy." "First of all, you obviously don't know jack shit about the prophecy." "How do you know that it won't be me who controls the dragon?" "(LAUGHING) Because I am the chosen one." "Chosen one controls the dragon." "Those are the rules, basically." "(LAUGHS)" "What are you laughing at?" "I was just thinking about your penis and how unusual it must look." "It doesn't look unusual." "How do you know it's going to work?" "Because I've tested it." "Really?" "And if your vagina is anything like my hand there will be no problem." "(SNORING)" "Fair warriors, arise." "Two days before the eclipse." "Thadeous, hand me the compass so I can check its shadow." "What?" "The compass." "Oh." "That's weird." "It was around my neck when I slept." "Where is it, Thadeous?" "I don't know." "I just woke up." "Isabel seems to have gone." "THADEOUS:" "Isabel!" "Isabel!" "Isabel!" "Shit." "Thadeous, you didn't by chance tell her anything about the nature of our quest, did you?" "I may have dropped a few minor details." "Did you tell Isabel anything about the one-of-a-kind mythical compass?" "Mmm." "Gods!" "She's run off with the compass." "We don't know that for sure." "Oh, yeah?" "Where is it?" "Where is she?" "All right, well, it wasn't my fault." "I was falling madly in love with her." "I was bedazzled by her sweet bosom." "I was helpless." "You fool!" "Without the compass, how do we find the Blade of Unicorn?" "And without that sword, how do we defeat Leezar?" "Maybe we can find some other way, with nets or something." "Nets?" "Oh, that's a great plan." "And meanwhile, Belladonna's going to get raped and die!" "We don't know for sure if she'll die." "Is this a joke to you?" "Look, I'm sorry, but I shouldn't even be here." "We've almost been killed multiple times." "I will probably die on this quest." "Courtney definitely will." "Fuck Courtney, and fuck you!" "Maybe they're right, everything they say about you." "They only say that stuff because of you, because you go out and have to pretend to be the best." "And they look at me like I'm some sort of idiot." "Everyone in the kingdom wants to suck your dick." "No one wants to suck mine!" "Oh, Thadeous, you have the potential to be such a noble warrior, but instead you just let yourself go, and everyone around you." "You have no idea what it's like to be me." "Being your brother is a curse." "I'd rather be brothers with anyone else but you." "(GRUNTS)" "You say nothing else for fear of what I might do." "Nothing!" "Now get dressed and comb your hair." "I'm going to Muldiss Darton." "Sex." "(LAUGHS)" "Come on, Courtney." "FABIOUS:" "Come on." "For better or worse, we're here." "Muldiss Darton." "You and Courtney entertain yourselves." "I'm going off to find the sword alone." "Alone?" "I can't afford to waste any more time." "Well, what are we to do?" "Do whatever it is you do, Thadeous." "Well, obviously he's still upset." "(PEOPLE LAUGHING)" "(PEOPLE LAUGHING)" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Oh, gods, Courtney." "How my heart laments." "Having been betrayed by the sways of a beautiful woman." "And Fabious, throwing his goddamn tantrums with no regard for anyone else's feelings." "He really needs to consider..." "Sir, look over there." "It's that thieving Isabel." "My gods!" "The balls of this woman!" "Do you think any of those men are her boyfriends?" "COURTNEY:" "Possibly." "Who would ever want to be her boyfriend?" "What do we do?" "I'll tell you what we do." "We go over there, we get the compass back, we give it to Fabious, we make him feel horrible for the way in which he treated me, and then you and I head for home." "You believe it to be as easy as that, sir?" "Courtney, she is a woman, and we are a man." "How hard could this be?" "It's my birthday today, you know." "Fuck that." "(GRUNTING)" "FABIOUS:" "Boremont!" "You dare to betray me twice?" "No, it's the same betrayal as before." "It all just counts as one." "I suggest you surrender before my father's army gets here." "After Simon's message, they should be arriving nigh on now." "Ah, yes." "About your tin pet." "(SQUAWKING)" "(MANIOUS LAUGHING) Simon." "Best of luck with your quest." "And you with yours." "Not so fast, trickster." "Hello, Thadeous." "The time for pleasantries is through." "Do you feel that tiny prick in your back?" "Is that your cock?" "(SCOFFS)" "No, 'tis a knife, but I'll gladly penetrate you with it." "Now look over your shoulder." "Other shoulder." "(LAUGHING)" "(CHUCKLES)" "Frightening." "Mmm-hmm." "We have you surrounded." "An animal in a cage." "Now sit." "So, who were those handsome men you were talking to?" "My contacts." "Mmm." "By contacts do you mean men you trick into liking you so you can fuck them over?" "What are you talking about?" "You know what I'm talking about." "The compass." "Hand it over now." "You lied." "It does nothing." "Maybe if you would've gone to the Wize Wizard like we did, he could have explained to you that it only works in sunlight." "Really?" "Shit, I shouldn't have told you that." "Isn't the Wize Wizard a pervert?" "Yes." "Sadly, I think he molested my brother." "That's unfortunate." "Enough of your sympathy." "The compass." "Give it." "I need it to destroy Leezar." "Your quest is to kill Leezar?" "Yes." "My family is the order of the Golden Knights." "We're sworn to obstruct the prophecy of the dragon eclipse." "That's what the Golden Knights do?" "It is my legacy to stop anyone who wants to fuck to make dragons." "Yuck." "Well, that's the same thing we're trying to do." "Why would you hinder us and steal the compass?" "His mothers sent my brothers to their death." "I must stop Leezar and I can't afford to let anyone get in my way." "Least of all, a slob and his boy." "Guess what?" "I despise you." "You're a bully and a whore." "Now give me the compass now." "And if I don't?" "Well," "then things will get very nasty." "Oh, really?" "Oh, really." "(GROANS)" "Shit!" "Oh, shit!" "(GRUNTING)" "Oh!" "God!" "Courtney, fucking do something." "Your Highness!" "Excuse me." "What the fuck?" "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "(SCREAMING)" "Take that shit outside!" "Oh, sorry." "(GRUNTING)" "(MEN LAUGHING)" "(THADEOUS GROANING)" "Hello." "(YELLING)" "(GRUNTING)" "(PANTING)" "(LAUGHING)" "(MEN SHOUTING)" "(MEN SHOUTING)" "Thank you for the hospitality, gentlemen." "That didn't really go as planned." "She's gone and now so is the compass." "She is, indeed, gone, sir." "The compass, however, is right here." "Courtney, my good man." "(LAUGHING)" "(LAUGHS)" "How did you do it?" "Before your father bought me," "I was a sex slave for a band of gypsies in the north and they taught me a thing or two about sleight-of-hand." "Oh, you." "Now you see me, now you don't." "Delicious." "(SPEAKING FRENCH) (SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "(CHUCKLES)" "I can't wait to see the look on Fabious' silly face when he sees this." "BOREMONT:" "Clear!" "THADEOUS:" "Fabious." "What do we do?" "THADEOUS:" "I'll tell you what we do." "We will steal a steed and we will ride to the next town." "We become ghosts, start a brand new life, one where you still serve me." "And we're stable boys, and we bed the fickle wives of farmers." "What about Fabious?" "Oh, Fabious." "We'll remember him fondly." "I really think we should try and rescue him." "But, how, Courtney?" "You are weak, and I am hungry." "(SWORD SWISHING) (SCREAMS)" "You deceitful pricks." "You stole the compass from me." "Who?" "I didn't." "Courtney did." "Please have mercy on us, lady warrior." "Fabious has been captured by Leezar and his men." "He was captured?" "THADEOUS:" "Yes." "We got into a huge swordfight and we were able to escape and he was not." "I know how you're feeling inside." "As if you cannot rest until you destroy those who harmed your family." "You want to skin them alive then wear their flesh as a cape as you dance around their convulsing corpses." "Yes, of course." "Yes." "That feeling is all too familiar." "It's been burning in my beaver since the day I lost my brothers." "We've had our differences, but if we work together, we can save your brother, avenge my family, and destroy Leezar once and for all." "This woman is mad." "I believe we found our labyrinth." "Where?" "The compass has led us to a dead end." "Shall we return home?" "It appears as though there's something written here in the language of the Highland Dwarf." "I can't read it." "Sir, you're well-versed in the Highland Dwarf language, aren't you?" "You read Dwarf, Thadeous?" "I have had encounters with those people, yes." "Really?" "Well, then what does it say?" "Fucker." "(SIGHING)" "(READING DWARF LANGUAGE)" "It's nonsense." "It says, "What leads you here will lead you there."" "It's rubbish." "Highland Dwarves are a silly culture." "Oftentimes they speak and I have no idea what they're talking about." "What is she doing?" "ISABEL:" "Perfect fit." "(RUMBLING)" "ISABEL:" "You coming?" "(THADEOUS SNIFFING)" "What is that foul stench?" "(GROWLING)" "What was that noise?" "I don't know, Courtney." "But I don't like this." "(GROWLING CONTINUES)" "I fear we're not alone in here." "(BELLOWS)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(GROANING)" "(BELLOWING FIERCELY)" "What is that thing?" "I don't know, but run!" "Isabel!" "(GROWLING)" "Sir?" "Help!" "Your Highness!" "Courtney!" "COURTNEY:" "Thadeous!" "Isabel!" "Companions, where are you?" "THADEOUS:" "Courtney!" "Hello?" "Thadeous!" "(BELLOWING)" "COURTNEY:" "Where are you, sire?" "This is the Blade of Unicorn?" "It's just bones." "SOUL OF THE MAZE:" "You've found it." "Who said that?" "'Tis I, the soul of this maze and protector of the blade." "'Tis my duty to ensure only a true hero carries the blade from this tomb." "Okay." "Say, for instance, a man entered here by accident who wasn't a true hero." "What would happen to him?" "Death." "I see." "Well," "I am no true hero." "So I would like to just place the sword back where I found it, and then I will go my way, and you won't kill me, and that will be that, okay?" "Go?" "Where would you like to go?" "Is that..." "Your home." "Okay, well, I would surely go there." "That would be fine." "Shall I just slide the sword back into the thingy, or place it gently upon the ground?" "And if I told you that your brother will die without the help of this blade, would you still walk through that door?" "Without the blade, Fabious will be helpless against Leezar." "(GROANING)" "Shut your magical hole." "Why are you showing me this?" "SOUL OF THE MAZE:" "It's what you wanted, is it not?" "Your brother gone." "You'll be king of all the land." "Think of the power, the women, the bush, the sticky-icky, the honeypots." "Well, it would be nice to be king." "And all you have to do is forget about the blade." "Leave it where you found it and never think of this place again." "That's very sweet but I am not a female Minotaur." "Ow!" "(BELLOWING)" "His worm is tickling me." "(GRUNTING)" "Get off of me!" "I'm not enjoying this!" "Get off me." "(MOANING)" "(BELLOWING GENTLY)" "Whew!" "(THADEOUS LAUGHING)" "Did you just see that?" "I came back for you all!" "I saved you!" "What, you were going to leave us?" "No, of course not." "Is that the..." "Blade of Unicorn?" "Yes, my companions, it is." "It's so beautiful." "THADEOUS:" "It's very, very sharp." "Come here, you silly." "What are you doing?" "I was just trying to cut this horn as a souvenir of my kill, but it's proving to be a bit of a bitch." "(ISABEL SCOFFS)" "You can never sever the horn of a Minotaur." "Hmm." "THADEOUS:" "Only a champion man would hold the Blade of Unicorn in his hands." "And I, Thadeous, am that man." "I have seen the pain in my reflection (WHIP CRACKING)" "And watched the strength of my brother, unflinching." "My quest is one of love, but also in this moment of forgiveness, of redemption, even amongst the smallest of foes." "(SQUAWKS)" "(SQUAWKING)" "My path has been unstable but my conviction is born to damn the fuckers who doubted me." "To lessen the assholes who tested me." "(ALL CHEERING)" "To right what is wrong." "To restore faith that has long been lost." "And to rise to great heights even beyond my own legend as a great cocksmith, master pintsman, and stunningly handsome prince of light in these dark Dark Ages." "True trials await, and I will greet thee with the hammer of my fist and the slide of my sword." "As the fog clears, I will follow the voice that guides me." "My love, my heart, my gods." "THADEOUS:" "The time is now!" "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "Let us quest!" "At long last, I have you firmly in my grasp." "The pesky Prince Fabious." "The little sneak who time and time again has foiled every one of my plots." "Who has slain every one of my beasts." "Who has bested me without fail until now." "Do what you will to me." "But unhand my love." "Let Belladonna go!" "Cast your glance heavenward and know that when the ceiling parts, and the moons align," "I will be entering your love." "Sacrilege!" "You wretched wizard." "My mothers have already moistened Belladonna for foreplay." "You'll excuse me if I take my leave." "I shall kill you!" "Julie, Julie, get me out of here." "Leezar has a hold of your mind." "He has allowed me to get even with you." "For too long you and your family have treated me like an employee." "Yeah, you were my slave." "Yes, well not anymore." "Boremont, my comrade." "Please, get me out of here." "If Leezar wins tonight, the entire world will tumble into darkness." "My heart has soured on this world long ago." "Perhaps a regime change is just what it's needed." "Boremont, you gave your hand for me." "Now you're taking my heart." "We used to have fucking picnics together." "Remember when we crossed swords and touched tips?" "Do you remember?" "Look at me, Boremont!" "Don't do this." "Anyway, so that you don't feel like you're missing out on any of the fun, let me introduce you to my friend, Timotay." "As Leezar enters Belladonna, he will lower you onto that spike, thereby giving you a good poking as well." "Belladonna, I love you!" "(SQUAWKING)" "All right." "Well, seeing that I did the bulk of the work in the labyrinth, perhaps it's one of your turns to lead the way now." "Step back, new friends." "I'll lead the way." "For tonight, evil has met its match." "Fantastic!" "Thank you again for coming." "ALL:" "Oh!" "(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)" "God." "Wow, right out of the gate." "We should proceed with a bit more caution." "BELLADONNA:" "Let go of me!" "You foul witches!" "I hate you all. (MOTHERS LAUGHING)" "Stop laughing." "Silence!" "BELLADONNA:" "Let me go!" "I shall be unable to have sex with her with all that shrieking." "MOTHER 1:" "If it's obedience that you want, we will put her under a spell." "(MOTHERS LAUGHING EVILLY)" "MOTHER 2:" "She will surrender." "Obey." "(GROANING)" "(MOTHERS LAUGHING EVILLY)" "Let it begin." "(GRUNTING)" "(GROANING)" "THADEOUS:" "The winch, Courtney." "Brother!" "What are you doing here?" "We came to rescue you." "FABIOUS:" "You did?" "Yes!" "Are you surprised?" "Yes!" "Courtney, you're still alive!" "Isabel!" "All right." "Great." "We haven't much time!" "Let's get weapons." "Fabious, there's something else I should tell you." "What?" "I would never let your true love come to harm." "I present you with the Blade of Unicorn." "Brother, it is beautiful." "And Your Highness, please forgive my deception." "Our two quests now work as one." "Nice." "We're in this together, sir." "Yes." "(SQUAWKING EXCITEDLY)" "FABIOUS:" "Simon!" "(CHUCKLES)" "Now mine eyes have seen it all." "'Tis only a truce." "Courtney had him restored." "He manipulated me into friendship by tugging at my heartstrings." "(CHITTERING)" "FABIOUS:" "Right." "What's he saying?" "It seems the way is more treacherous than I thought." "I cannot ask you to come with me." "I know you do not expect much from me, Fabious." "But I will stand with you on this night." "Is this the same brother that would not be my best man?" "I did not deserve to be your best man." "You do now." "We can finish this whenever you maidens are ready." "BOTH:" "Ready!" "(YELLING)" "(YELLING)" "The time is nigh!" "The moons are about to align." "(GROANS)" "(SHUSHING)" "Intruders!" "(ALL EXCLAIM)" "You're too late!" "The fuckening has begun." "Get him!" "(YELLING)" "You shit!" "Kill them!" "(YELLING)" "(GROANS)" "(GROANS)" "(GRUNTING)" "(GROWLING DEMONICALLY)" "Why is she making these noises?" "(GROANS)" "Courtney!" "(YELLING)" "(GROANING)" "(LAUGHS)" "FABIOUS:" "Boremont!" "Bastard!" "(YELLS)" "Thadeous!" "LEEZAR:" "I'm not stiffening!" "I'm just not attracted to you." "(IN DEMONIC VOICE) Fuck me!" "(YELLS) (SCREECHING)" "BELLADONNA:" "Love me!" "(SCREAMING)" "THADEOUS:" "Adiós, motherfucker!" "Teamwork!" "(WHIMPERS)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(BOTH GROANING)" "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(GROANS)" "God, I never wanted it to end like this, old friend." "Master Fabious." "I loved you!" "I loved you, too, Boremont." "As only a knight can love a knight." "No." "I loved you as a man loves another man." "Oh." "(DEMONIC LAUGHTER)" "Jumping!" "(GRUNTING)" "Quick!" "We must hurry!" "What?" "No, no, don't suck that!" "That's dead!" "(GRUNTING)" "(LIGHTNING STRIKING)" "(SQUAWKING)" "Next time you want to smash a bloodline of knights, make sure you kill all of them!" "MOTHERS:" "We did!" "You forgot about their sister." "(SHRIEKING)" "(DEMONIC SCREECHING)" "(EXHALES)" "Thadeous!" "What are you doing here?" "I'm trying to rescue you." "We must hurry!" "Step away from my virgin." "She's my brother's virgin." "If you want to fuck her, you'll have to fuck me first." "It would be my pleasure." "Stop!" "It's over." "Take your last breath with nobility." "(LEEZAR LAUGHS)" "You fool." "I cannot be slain by mortal blade." "One must possess the powerful..." "I know." "Blade of Unicorn." "It's not possible." "(GROANING)" "(LAUGHS)" "My love." "Think I'm beginning to like the feel of blood and filth upon these fingers." "Perhaps I will never bathe again." "Unless, of course, there were a bitch brave enough to bathe beside me." "You fought with honor." "Why don't you treat yourself and take rest at our castle?" "We've all the slaves, pickles and servants one could ever desire." "We have dancing bears, Orientals and all the berries you care to pick." "I wish I could, but I never rest." "There's yet another quest that calls me to the Western Marshes." "I must surprise a band of thieves and burn them alive one by one in a symphony of shrieks." "I will not forget you, Prince." "Nor will I." "Here." "To remember me." "Oh." "I don't want that thing touching me." "Say hello." "Ooh." "No." "I fucking killed this dick." "Take it." "No, it's yours." "I cannot accept another warrior's trophy." "Courtney, take my dick." "Till we meet again." "Is thou all right, Brother?" "(WHISPERING) I love you." "(WHISPERING) I love you, too." "(CROWD CHEERING)" "They're cheering for you." "They're cheering for all of us." "Even for me?" "Especially you, Brother." "(ALL CHEERING LOUDLY)" "(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)" "(CROWD CHEERING)" "(CHIRPING HAPPILY)" "I'm proud of you, son." "You saved the entire land." "Not a bad run for a first quest." "Well, I would be remiss to say I did it alone." "Fabious did help where he could." "Hmm." "Hmm." "TALLIOUS:" "I'm sure." "Finally." "Alone." "(SIGHS)" "Hello, there." "Cock-a-doodle-do." "Ah, Isabel." "Brother?" "Yes?" "Am I interrupting something?" "Nothing, I was preparing for bedtime and just looking at the oils that Father gave me." "Ah!" "I know what you're doing!" "No, you don't." "(LAUGHS)" "(CLEARING THROAT)" "Well, seeing you by yourself at the wedding didn't seem right." "So, I've brought you someone." "Someone I know you've been missing..." "Isabel?" "...and who's been missing you." "I brought you Steven!" "Oh." "I went on a mini-quest and I found him for you." "Well, that was very nice of you, Fabious." "Thank you." "I had so much fun on our adventure together." "Yes, I know." "You have told me 15 fucking times now." "(LAUGHS)" "Well, I'm off to sleep with Belladonna." "I'm a little nervous." "Don't be." "Just swing your cock with the same strength you swing your sword, and I'm sure all will be fine." "All right." "Sweet dreams, Brother." "Sweet dreams." "Steven." "Well, I'm going to put you in the corner now while I strum my filthies." "Come, come, Steven." "Here we go." "Isabel." "I was able to wrap things up in the west quicker than I expected." "I've not been able to stop thinking of you." "What a coincidence." "I was just about to finish thinking of you." "Wait." "Before we go any further, there's something I have to show you." "What?" "What the hell is that?" "It's a chastity belt put upon me by an evil witch long ago." "She now roams the snow mountains of Shahmir." "If I can defeat her, the curse will be broken, the belt will fall free." "So in order for us to make love, we have to track down an evil and, I'm assuming, dangerous witch?" "Exactly." "Hmm." "We would have to do this right now?" "If you don't want to join me," "I could just take care of it myself." "No, of course I want to come." "We just got home." "I was hoping to have a few hours ofjust doing nothing, perhaps just relaxing." "Let's just stay here and snuggle." "Hmm." "No, fuck it." "Let's kill that bitch."