"Hum, little hummingbird?" "Boys, will you please pay attention?" "Watch what you're doing." "Try bar 13." "Hum, little hummingbird?" "Just a minute." "What's going on here?" "What's going on here?" "!" "Pardon me, madame Traviata." "Boys!" "What's the matter with the brass?" "That's a C-Major chord." "You know better than that!" "Let's go now!" "Hum, little hummingbird?" "Oh!" "Oh, this is absurd." "This is ridiculous!" "What are you, musicians or butchers?" "It wasn'tmy fault." "Who's playing those repulsive notes?" "He is!" "Would you mind playing my composition as i wrote it?" "Can't you read?" "My eyes." "I'm a little tired." "I was up all last night practicing." "Practicing what?" "To play out of tune?" "You sound like a snake charmer." "Break it up out there, will you?" "Come on now, folks." "Break it up and settle down." "We're on the air in 3 minutes." "We have a very eccentric sponsor, you know." "He likes everybody in the orchestra to play the same song." "You see?" "Kindly play my music as I wrote it or just stay out of it." "His music!" "He stole everything he ever wrote, the big thief." "And you, you two stool pigeons, you're going to be punished someday for snitching on me like that." "Don't let them upset you." "Oh, Elizabeth, the whole world is against me." "Here I am, a great musician, sitting here playing third trumpet." "Well, you're making money." "You're eating." "That's unimportant." "I'm an artist." "I wish I'd never heard of food or money." "Now, now." "It's an ungrateful world, Elizabeth." "If I had my way, things would be different." "There'd be a lot of changes made." "Stand by!" "We're on the air!" "The paradise coffee program!" "Gentle people, it's 15 minutes before midnight," "And paradise coffee," "The coffee that is heavenly, brings you sleepy time music." "And why?" "Because paradise coffee makes you sleep." "Ah, sleep." "What is more beautiful than sleep?" "Sleep, blessed sleep, the sleep you always miss so much when you are awake because you aren't sleeping." "First you pour paradise gently into the waiting cup." "Then perhaps a dash of cream to lend that pearly, glittering tint." "Then add sugar to taste." "Ah-Ah!" "Not too much now." "And then sip your paradise coffee and sleep." "Indeed, paradise coffee is heavenly, for it makes you sleep contentedly, peacefully, as if in the arms of angels." "You sleep on a billowy cloud, drifting through the majestic nothingness of infinity, listening to a celestial symphony that lulls your earthly cares away." "It's paradise." "It's heavenly." "Me?" "Are you sure?" "Elizabeth." "I'm sorry." "The deputy chief has no authority in such matters." "Why don't you take it up with the front office?" "You're welcome." "Elizabeth, I was" "Hello, Athanael." "Elizabeth, the chief sent for me." "I was just sitting there playing, and a messenger came and" "You might say hello, Athanael." "Hello." "What does he want?" "Did he tell you?" "I think you're going to be promoted." "I am?" "That's wonderful!" "It's about time, too." "Athanael!" "Yes, sir?" "Elizabeth, what's keeping that Emmanuel fellow?" "It's not Emmanuel, chief." "It's Athanael." "He's here now." "Well, bring him in." "The chief!" "Don't let him frighten you." "If he's gruff and short-Tempered, it's just because he's terribly busy like all the other deputy chiefs." "After all, he has billions" "Of small planets to look after." "Elizabeth, have we any report on that star missing from the big dipper?" "It fell out, sir." "They found it in the milky way." "What's this memo from the personnel department?" "Same old thing- Shortage of angel power." "I've drawn up the new questionnaire." "What?" "Another questionnaire?" "Red tape, red tape, and more red tape." "Next thing you know, they'll be forming a new bureau to handle the new questionnaire." "They better start letting in a few big businessmen up here." "So, you're Emmanuel, huh?" "Uh, Athanael, sir." "Angel Junior grade," "Third phalanx, 15th cohort." "Nothing wrong with your record." "I hope not, sir." "Application excellent." "Deportment excellent." "Kindness excellent." "Virtue excellent." "Monotonous!" "Yes, sir." "That's for me to say." "Hmm." "Fancy yourself a trumpet player, do you?" "Well, sir, in all modesty," "I think I can safely say that" "Well, I do work hard at it, sir," "And I practice a lot in my spare time." "Yes, so I hear, constantly, from this female." "You with your trumpet and me with my harp." "You have, Elizabeth?" "I told him how pleasant it is, just the two of us and the music." "Emmanuel!" "I sent for you to, uh..." "Let's see." "Why did I send for you?" "Oh, yes." "I remember now." "It seems that one of our smaller planets, called the, uh... well, the name doesn't matter." "Anyway, planet number 339001 has gotten completely out of hand." "I know we have a model of it somewhere in the files." "Oh, yes." "Here we are." "Absolutely out of hand." "Persecution and hatred everywhere." "Goodness knows the front office has warned them often enough- quakes, floods, volcanic eruptions, droughts, plagues, everything." "They pay no attention." "Not a bad little planet, at that." "I know it has a name." "Oh, that's the planet Earth, sir." "Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." "Created rather hurriedly, as I recall." "Just a 6-Day job, wasn't it?" "Practically slapped together, you might say." "Take a good look at it because we're going to slap it apart." "We are?" "Yes." "Orders from the front office." "Usually when a planet goes berserk, it's our demolition expert" "Who descends, blows his horn, and poof." "Poof?" "Mm-Hmm." "Just now, however, our demolition expert is disposing of one of the larger planets, so for this bit of destruction, I'm using you." "Me?" "Yes, as the angel least likely to be missed." "Come over here, Emmanuel." "That's Athanael, sir." "Oh, all right." "Athanael." "This doesn't take any particular intelligence, so I think you can handle it." "Ooh!" "And blow the first 4 notes of the judgment day overture on this horn." "Pardon, sir." "It isn't a horn." "It's a trumpet." "To me, it's a horn, but a very special one, so take care of it." "Get going, and when you come back, you may find yourself an angel senior grade and playing horn solos on your trumpet." "Thank you, sir." "Thank you very much." "Thank you, sir." "Save your breath for the horn." "Elizabeth, see Mercurius about his transportation." "Yes, sir." "Good-Bye, sir." "By the way, that must be blown at midnight sharp." "Yes, sir." "Remember, that mea ns precisely at 12:00." "Any other time, you can blow your head off, and all you'll get is music." "11:59 won't do." "12:01 won't do." "It must be at 12:00 on the dot." "On the dot, sir." "That's all." "Hello, salvage department?" "Stand by to pick up a load of scrap at midnight." "Watch the birdie." "Well, it's what I've always said- you can't fool the camera." "Let me see." "After all, Mercurius, it's a picture of me, isn't it?" "Not a bad likeness, considering what it's like" "You can hardly call it flattering." "It is just for the records." "You see, all these angels went out on missions," "But not all of them came back." "No!" "Yes." "These two, for instance." "They were sent to the planet earth on some mission or other some time ago." "Too bad." "Just couldn't resist temptation, I guess." "Weaklings, huh?" "Where are they now?" "They're still on earth, and they'll stay down there in human form until the hour of destruction." "Which won't be long now." "And then what happens to them?" "Fallen angels can never come back here, and there's only one other place to go." "You mean" "Yes." "Here are your instructions, Athanael." "First you take the elevator down to the wardrobe department." "Then you change to elevator number 3." "What for?" "It's all in here." "Remember, when you're on earth, you'll be strictly on your own." "there'll be no help from up here, so please follow your instructions." "Remember." "I'll remember." "You know I never forget those things." "Good-Bye." ""You will then proceed to cloud 46-B," ""where you will change to an earthly elevator" ""which we have borrowed from the Hotel Universe in New York City." ""That elevator will transport you" ""to the hotel, where at midnight," ""you will proceed to the roof and-"" "Shucks!" "This is outrageous!" "It's unheard-of!" ""Special express elevator to tower suites and roof. "" "What's special about it?" "That it doesn't run?" "I demand to see the manager!" "I" "Ah!" "There you are!" "Please, lady Stover, don't lose your temper." "If I did, you could never find it." "You can't even find your own elevator." "Patience, madam." "I'm sure it's only some minor mechanical defect." "It'll be repaired immediately." "It had better be." "What am I supposed to do at $50 a day?" "Climb ropes?" "Sloan, what did you find out?" "Nothing." "It's gone ." "Disappeared." "And you call yourself a house detective." "Listen here, you." "In the 15 years I've been running this hotel, many things have disappeared" " Linens, silver." "Once someone even stole a boiler from the basement." "But an elevator?" "Never." "Don't you suspect anyone?" "Nobody." "Have you questioned that Dexter fellow?" "You mean, Archie Dexter?" "Why, that's ridiculous, sir." "I want you to question every crook in this hotel, including Dexter." "I want my elevator back!" "All right, all right, sir." "Hello there, Sloan." "How's the old bloodhound?" "Tonight I feel lower than a dachshund." "I hate to bother you, mr." "Dexter, but did you steal our roof elevator?" "No, I didn't." "Is it missing?" "Yes, but, of course, I knew that you had nothing to do with it." ""Why," I said to myself, "would the man who stole whistler's mother waste his time on an old broken-down elevator?"" "You could never be that crude, mr." "Dexter." "Thank you." "Thank you, Sloan," "But this elevator affair- After all, one cannot very well tuck an elevator in one's vest pocket, now, can one?" "No, sir, but it's gone just the same, and is lady Stover furious!" "Is she there?" "Let's have a look" "At the scene of the crime." "I may be of some help." "Ah, my dear lady Stover." "Archie, maybe you can do something about the service in the wretched hovel." "20 minutes I've been waiting for the lift." "But surely a gay meadowlark like you isn't thinking of retiring to your nest at this hour." "Not if you've anything more interesting to suggest." "How about a turn on the floor?" "The music is rather good." "An excellent idea." "Mr. Dexter, what about the elevator?" "If I stumble across it, I'll let you know." "What is this, a private elevator?" "Of all the nerve!" "What's the big idea?" "Just a minute." "That elevator." "Who do you think you are?" "Athanael, sir." "Third phalanx, 15th cohort." "Oh." "Well, of course, that explains everything." "Excuse me." "Is that time correct?" "Yes, sir." "Are you quite certain?" "Positively, sir." "The sun rises and sets by that clock." "Oh, you've been misinformed, my man." "Solar movements are completely independent of terrestrial influences." "However, I will accept the time as 11:15." "Thank you, sir." "I'm sure western union will be deeply grateful." "Are you, um, staying overnight, sir?" "No, and neither are you." "Calling mr." "Caesar!" "Mr. Caesar!" "Mr. Caesar!" "Calling mr." "Caesar!" "Oh, boy!" "I'll deliver that for you." "It's for Julius?" "Uh, no, sir." "Daniel Caesar." "Oh." "Him I don't know." "Have you a light, my dear young lady?" "Yes, mr." "Dexter." "Thank you." "You're-You're sure you understand our plan?" "Yes, Archie..." "darling." "The timing must be absolutely perfect." "Oh, I know." "You dance with lady Stover." "When I see your hand at her shoulder," "I ease over near you." "You drop the pearls in my cigarette tray, and I just walk away." "Right, and remember something else, Fran." "What, Archie?" "I'm mad about you." "Darling." "Archie, my dear, dear boy, was I long?" "Every moment seemed an hour." "Shall we?" "Pardon me." "You have a clock on the roof, I believe." "That's right, sir." "In the tower." "Well, girls, are we all here?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Doremus." "What?" "What is it?" "Look." "It's Athanael." "What do you suppose he's down here for?" "I don't know, but we'd certainly better find out." "Uh, go ahead up, girls." "We'll join you in a minute." "Hello, Tony." "Who was that chap you were just talking to?" "His face looks familiar." "You got me, mr." "Osidro." "Sure talks like a screwball, though." "He does?" "Wanted to know if our tower clock keeps correct time because he has to blow a horn on the roof precisely at midnight." "Musicians are all wacky, I guess." "Excuse me, sir." "This is bad, very bad." "There's only one thing to do-Stop him." "Yes, but not now." "This has to be handled very delicately because if we don't stop him... come on, Doremus." "Posed uh, what are they sup to be doing?" "I wouldn't know, sir." "They call it dancing." "I must tell Saint Vitus about this." "Lady Stover, when you dance like that, you're no lady." "Archie!" "Excuse me, madam." "Are these your beads?" "You." "No, than I never" "Beads?" "What?" "Oh!" "My pearls!" "Where did you find them?" "Right here on the floor." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you so much." "You're welcome." "Archie!" "I almost lost my pearls." "Yes, you almost did." "I'll go and put them straight in the hotel safe." "Yes." "You may as well." "You run along, my pet." "I'll make a phone call and meet you later in the bar." "Oh, pardon me." "What's the correct time?" "It's exactly 11:45, sir." "You're sure of that?" "Do you mind, sir?" "I am working on tomorrow's reservations." "Tomorrow's reservations?" "Yes, sir." "Please, Archie." "I" "Run along now, little one, and weep in your consomme." "You've given a brilliant performance." "If I hadn't been bumped into, I..." "Now, now, forget all about it." "After all, I should have realized that asking you to stand quite still with the cigarette tray" "Would have been too much for you." "Archie, please, won't you listen?" "There's nothing more to be said, my dear." "Oh, Archie!" "Cigarettes, please." "Just a minute." "I wouldn't blow that horn." "No?" "I wouldn't if I were you." "Well, you're not me," "So that settles that, doesn't it?" "Don't blow that horn..." "Athanael." "Athanael?" "You know me?" "Don't you recognize us?" "I'm Doremus." "Osidro." "Fourth phalanx, tenth cohort." "Fallen angels!" "Shh!" "Not so loud!" "Fallen angels." "I remember the pictures on the wall." "You stay away from me." "Don't touch me." "Now, Athanael, keep cool." "We're throwing a little party in our penthouse bungalow." "And we want you to drop in for a minute." "Well, I'm sorry, but I haven't time." "Oh, what's your hurry?" "Wouldn't you like a little excitement for a change?" "There'll be plenty of excitement when i blow this." "What-what kind of a party?" "Nothing much." "Just a little sociability," "Some music." "Oh." "Well, I'm sorry, but at the moment," "I'm not interested in-Music?" "What kind of music?" "Like you never heard before, Athanael." "Swing music." "Also, we have 8 or 10 beautiful girls." "You know they don't interest me, not 8 girls or 9 girls or" "10 beautiful girls, you say?" "Yes." "You owe it to yourself to look the place over, just out of curiosity." "Oh." "Well, if you're going to force me." "This-this is your place?" "Yes." "Well!" "My, my!" "It's- Really, it's" "It's revolting!" "Athanael, we have everything we want" "Wine, women, song, everything." "I know, but where are you finally going to wind up?" "I've been told" "Just propaganda." "They have to tell you that, or there'd be nobody left up there." "Listen, Athanael, everything we've got is yours." "Mine?" "Really?" "Allyou have to do is, don't blow the horn." "Yes." "That's the chief thing." "Huh?" "The chief!" "I nearly forgot!" "Athanael, please, don't do it." "Athanael, please, give us a break." "I'm sorry." "Orders are orders." "Good luck, boys." "And, uh, happy landing." "I'm going to throw him" "No, no!" "You know what it means to touch an angel in violence." "What's the matter?" "Don't cry." "Whatever is making you unhappy will be over with shortly." "It'll never be over with." "Never, never, never." "Oh, yes, it will." "He doesn't love me anymore." "He's sending me away." "I won't go back home." "I won't!" "Well, you can't very well go home if you're not alive." "Not alive?" "Yes." "You see, when the breath leaves the body." "When the breath leaves the body?" "Yes!" "Yes." "That's the answer to everything." "It's all clear now." "Well, I'm happy to have been of service." "He wanted me to go home." "This'll show him." "Wait a minute!" "Wait!" "Let me go!" "Let me go!" "You mustn't!" "You mustn't!" "Let me go!" "Let me go!" "No, no!" "You can't!" "Why not?" "It's your own idea!" "Suicide is a mortal sin!" "Let go of me!" "Be patient." "Just another minute." "No!" "I won't be talked out of it." "Let me go!" "I've changed my mind!" "Save me!" "D- don't g-get nervous!" "Don't let go!" "Don't let go!" "Keep hold!" "Don't let go!" "Who wants to let go?" "!" "Can't you pull me up?" "Yes, if you stop pulling me down!" "Steady." "That's fine." "For a minute, it looked bad, but we're ok now." "Hang on!" "Hang on!" "Keep cool!" "Don't look down." "You'll get dizzy." "Hang on!" "Be careful!" "You're tearing my dress!" "Oh, pardon me." "Oh, my!" "I've got to blow that trumpet!" "Midnight!" "Let go!" "Please!" "Help!" "Help me!" "Elizabeth, Elizabeth." "Chief, please." "Who are you calling?" "Doesn't matter." "They won't answer." "I failed... and I can't go back." "I can't go back." "Did you hear what happened to Athanael last night?" "Did I?" "He won't be using this chair anymore." "Is he officially a fallen angel?" "Not yet... but he will be." "I knew he'd never make it." "Well, he certainly put the chief on the spot." "Athanael-That nitwit!" "That bungler!" "I should have had more sense." "But I'm sure it wasn't his fault." "I know he can explain." "That's more than I can do for the front office!" "You don't know what i just went through in there." "Oh, chief, they're not going to" "I mean, they won't" "And why not?" "Why should Athanael be treated differently than any other angel?" "Because he's such a good angel." "He has such a soft, tender heart." "Yes, and such a soft, tender head!" "How could you ever recommend that harebrained, horn-tooting nincompoop?" "Oh, chief!" "Now don't start with that!" "My poor Athanael, my poor little nincompoop." "Elizabeth, don't do that!" "Please stop, Elizabeth." "You know I can't stand to see an angel cry, especially you." "My poor little Athanael... what's going to become of him?" "Now what's going to become of me?" "You fellows have to help me." "I sat up all last night wondering if" "Am I really a fallen angel?" "You ain't little bo peep, brother!" "I can't believe it." "You were telling me the truth last night, weren't you?" "Oh, sure, sure!" "Everything's swell for us down here." "Oh, maybe it isn't so bad after all." "No... except for the twinges." "The twinges?" "Every 60 minutes." "We get them but they're nothing." "You get used to them in time." "By the way, what time is it?" "7:29 and 1/2." "Stand back, Athanael!" "Here it comes." "Can I do anything?" "Can I help?" "Are you- are you all right, brother?" "We will be in a second." "That's what you call a twinge?" "Yeah." "That one wasn't so bad, was it?" "Comparatively mild." "And you get those every 60 minutes?" "Yep." "Every time the clock says half-Past, like a radio commercial." "It's just one of those cute punishments the front office dreamed up." "Well, that's something to look forward to." "We're all right for another hour." "Blll!" "Now, what about him?" "What do you mean, what about him?" "We can't just let the poor sucker stand there." "Let's get him a room in the hotel." "We've got to give him a start, if only for "auld lang syne"." "What did "auld lang syne" ever do for us?" "Don't be callous." "After all, Osidro, we are birds of a feather." "As one Whippoorwill to another, what would you suggest?" "Well, fellows, I think that" "We could make him a dealer in one of our gambling joints." "Him?" "He couldn't even deal off the top." "Well, fellows, I think" "I know." "We could let him handle" "Those black-Market coat hangers." "No, don't you remember we sold all those to the government?" "I'll tell you what he can do." "He can peddle that shipment of stolen girdles." "Brilliant, Osidro!" "But, fellows, please, if i must have an occupation down here like you said" "Couldn't it be something that I know something about?" "As for instance, what?" "Well, I do play a pretty good trumpet." "If you're wise, you'll listen to us." "The business for you is hot girdles." "But I've never handled a girdle, hot or cold." "I don't even know what a girdle is." "Now, please, couldn't i just play my trumpet?" "All right, Athanael, if that's what you want." "Get sherman starr on the phone." "Not that I've got anything against girdles." "It's" "Hello." "I want mr." "Starr, circle 6-1250." "Now, remember, you thought of this yourself." "Pardon me." "Mr. Starr, what are they doing?" "Jitterbugging, but they're all pooped." "They've been working the swing shift all night." "They're tired." "I see." "So now they're resting." "Come on, buster." "Get out of here!" "Come on." "Come on." "Get that set up." "Say, Slippy, this here's a friend of mine." "Let him sit in." "If he's ok, we'll hire him." "I solid will, boss." "You're just in time." "Get with it, buster." "Grab a chair." "We're going to start jumping." "Help him out, you cats." "There's a lot of triple tonguing in this arrangement." "Oh, I think I'll manage, thank you." "Are you digging this character?" "He's going to manage it." "So your boots are laced, Junior." "Well, all reet, all reet, all reet!" "Give it to me!" "A- one, a-two, a- zeek, a-zoo!" "Here's your chance to get with it, bud." "That's you." "Me?" "There's nothing there for 32 bars." "Take off, pops." "Curl it, beat it, and twist it!" "Twist it?" "Yeah." "Fake it, man." "Ain't you hep?" "Oh, you mean ad libitum." "Well..." " Get with it, guy." " Come on, send me." "Oh, that man is sour!" "Hey, is he kidding?" "What is this, a wake?" "This is murder, Slippy!" "Oh, that man is sour!" "Bounce that icky out before he empties the joint." "Wait a minute!" "Now, I'm Athanael, third phalanx, 15th" "Oh." "Did you say something, bud?" "No, no." "I thought you were a real angel." "Ha ha ha!" "Fooled you, didn't I?" "Table for one?" "Here you are." "What'll it be, Johnny?" "Why, I'm afraid you have me mixed up with someone else." "My name is Athanael." "My name is Porplinski." "Lew Porplinski." "May I have the honor of to hustle you some grub?" "Well, this is all so new to me." "I" "Say-say, that looks rather interesting." "A double scoop jumbo delight." "Right." "Vanilla and strawberry ice cream on a sliced banana with chocolate syrup and chopped walnuts." "Anything else, monsieur?" "Well, I" "I'd-I'd like some of that, I think." "You want that with a double scoop jumbo delight?" "Ok." "Imported herring with domestic onions, a large order." "With a double scoop jumbo delight, that goes just ducky." "Of course, the blend ain't exactly right unless you got a nice, big, juicy dill pickle." "Really?" "Well, then a nice, big, juicy dill pickle it shall be." "You got it, brother." "Hey, this is going to be fun." "Uh... pardon me, buddy, but just in case something should happen to you," "Who shall I notify?" "Notify?" "A close friend maybe." "Well, I have a close friend, but you see," "I'm down here, and she's up there." "You see, there you go again." "Look, Elizabeth, be reasonable." "I just can't let you go down to that awful place." "Poor Athanael." "Well, suppose I let you go and something went wrong." "I'd be ruined!" "I'm responsible for my messengers, you know." "Besides, the shortage in angel power..." "You just don't trust me." "That's all." "Oh, I do, Elizabeth." "You know I do." "Then let me go." "I'll straighten the whole thing out in no time." "Have I ever failed you?" "No, but" "Then please let me." "I promise I'll have Athanael blow the trumpet tonight." "Please." "Oh, what ever became of my willpower?" "I'll leave right away and be back with Athanael a minute after midnight." "Please, chief." "Well, I" "Oh, I knew you'd say yes!" "Wait a minute." "Who said yes?" "Now, take care of yourself while I'm gone and don't worry." "But I will worry!" "I know there's something wrong with this." "I've got a hunch." "Bye-bye, chief." "You're a darling." "I wouldn't have believed it unless I seen it with me own eyes." "What did he have after the watermelon?" "Roast duck with stuffing, then a coconut custard, and now an oyster stew." "We ought to send for a doctor." "Oh, mr." "Porplinski!" "You want something else?" "No, thank you." "Somehow, nothing else seems to appeal to me." "Now if you'll excuse me, thanks and good-bye." "Good-bye." "Say, not so fast." "What about the check?" "The check?" "I don't understand." "Come on, come on." "Give me $3.00." "Dollars?" "You heard me." "You heard me." "And come up dig into your pockets with $3.00." "Well, I'll try, but I'm quite sure that I haven't any dollars," "Whatever they are." "You see?" "Yeah, I see." "Well, I'm sorry to have disappointed you." "You've been very generous, and I'd gladly give you some dollars if I had some." "Well, good-Bye." "Holding on not a chance." "I'm to this bugle" "Until you give me the dough." "Dough?" "But you said you wanted" "On your way." "Get out of here!" "All right, if you insist," "But you know what you're doing?" "You're driving me right into the hot girdle business." "The first time this happened, I didn't say a word." "I kept my temper." "I retained my self-control, but there is a lim it to my patience!" "Please, lady Stover, my humblest apologies." "Sloan!" "Excuse me, ladies." "Now what?" "Why don't you attend to your business?" "Round up suspects, get a signed confession." "The roof elevator is missing again." "Oh, no!" "Well!" "Just a moment, young lady." "Would you mind telling me where you've been with that elevator" "Yes, I would." "Well, that's very kind of you." "Well, that one wasn't so bad." "No." "Always on the dot, though, aren't they?" "Well, how about a cigar?" "Pardon me." "Could you tell me where I might find an ange" "I mean a gentleman named Athanael?" "Mr. Athanael?" "Yes, I believe he's registered here." "Excuse me." "Funny, isn't it?" "Last night we thought we were all washed up, and here we are with everything under control." "Yes." "We're sitting right on top of the" "Oh!" "Am I seeing things?" "Yes." "You are seeing the chief's secretary Elizabeth." "Why do you imagine she's down here?" "She didn't come down to pitch for the brooklyn dodgers." "Yes." "We booked mr." "Athanael in room 106 on the mezzanine floor." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is still dr." "Panache, your roving bridge expert, doing our weekly quiz broadcast from the lobby of the hotel universe." "Ah, there, young lady." "Just in time to answer a bridge question for our radio audience." "But first, are you a New Yorker, miss?" "No." "I just dropped in." "Well, well!" "A stranger in town." "You're on a pleasure trip perhaps, hmm?" "Well, you'd hardly call it that." "Anyway, here's your bridge question." "You and your boyfriend are defending a slam bid." "You lead a club, knowing your boyfriend is blank in that suit." "Now, what does your boyfriend do?" "Really, I don't think I" "What does your boyfriend play?" "Oh, trumpet." "Trump it!" "Absolutely correct!" "That is the play that sets the hand and wins you a prize of $5.00." "Thank you very much." "And that concludes our weekly broadcast sponsored by the eureka card company." "This is your announcer, dr." "Panache, returning you now to the studio." "Hello, Athanael." "Hello, hello." "Well, aren't you surprised to see me?" "Oh, I don't know." "I've met so many people down here that" "Elizabeth!" "Remember, I warned you not to let anyone impose on your good nature." "But I was saving a soul from mortal sin." "You weren't sent but down here to do that." "Your instructions were definite." "Was she pretty?" "Pretty?" "Was who pretty?" "The girl whose soul you saved." "Oh, her." "Well..." "oh, no, no." "As a matter of fact, I'd say she was quite ordinary." "To me, she was just a girl in trouble." "Not nearly as much trouble as she got you into." "And it's a good thing for you that I was around to get you out." "Out?" "I persuaded the chief to give you another chance tonight." "You did?" "!" "Well, we're finished." "He'll surely blow that trumpet tonight." "He won't if he hasn't got it." "Oh, sure, but he has the trumpet." "He won't have it long." "You're wonderful, Elizabeth." "I don't deserve you." "I'm a weakling." "That's what I am" "Just a blundering, inefficient nothing!" "That's right, Athanael." "Well, you don't have to agree so fast, do you?" "After all, they don't let every Tom, Dick, and Harry through those pearly gates, you know." "I know, and they won't let you through again, either, if you fail this time." "Me, fail again?" "Ha ha ha!" "Don't you worry, my angel." "I won't now that I'm here, but I know the chief." "He's risking everything for us," "And he'll worry himself sick until we're back." "Now, all you have to do is blow the trumpet." "And will I blow it!" "I'll blow it like they never heard." "What's the matter?" "The trumpet- I haven't got it." "What?" "I left it in a place called a restaurant." "You let the trumpet out of your hands?" "Oh, Athanael!" "But it wasn't my fault." "I was hungry, and I ate, and the man took my trumpet" "A man called Porplinski." "You've got to get it back." "Yes." "Oh, but I can't." "I can't until I get something called dollars." "Dollars?" "What in the world are" "Dollars." "I've got some dollars." "You have?" "A man gave them to me when I came in." "Oh, so that's a dollars." "Funny-looking thing, isn't it?" "Forget about that." "You just hurry and get the trumpet." "Look, Elizabeth." "Oh, a picture of George Washington." "Yes." "Remind me to tell George about this when we get back." "Yes." "Now, Athanael, hurry, please." "Your proposition begins to interest me." "Here you are, boss." "This is Humphrey, my man." "Let's get down to business." "Bring us the trumpet and we'll give you $10,000." "10,000?" "In cash, the minute you hand it over." "I've never done any business with trumpets, but I remember once at Carnegie Hall," "I moved a Stradivarius right from under a violinist's chin." "Ah, me." "But this trumpet, where is it?" "Who has it?" "A fellow named Athanael, and he's right on this floor, room 106." "He's there now with a girlfriend of his, a harpist." "Musicians?" "Well, the whole thing sounds very simple." "I can assure you, it won't be simple." "Why not?" "All we do is bust in and slug him." "Oh, but there must be no violence." "I can't even hint at what the consequences would be." "Well, rest at ease, gentlemen." "There shall be no violence, and you shall have your trumpet." "Humphrey, show these gentlemen out, will you?" "Pleasure." "Through the living room." "Well, good-bye and good hunting." "Good-bye, gentlemen." "Well..." "I've come to say good-bye." "I'm going home." "Are you?" "I might as well." "I've failed at everything, even at ending it all." "I tried to jump off the roof last night." "Really?" "What stopped you?" "A man with a trumpet." "He was up on the roof, too, and all of a sudden" "A man with a trumpet, you say?" "Yes." "Hmm." "Fran, dear, about this going away." "You can't be serious." "Let's talk it over." "Come in, darling." "Here you are, buddy." "I thought you had an honest kisser." " Hey, waiter!" " Coming!" "What's this?" "Well, your grub was a 3-Er, you give me 5 singles, and I'm kicking back the deuce difference." "That's right, ain't it?" "Well... yes, yes, if you say so." "Now, may I have my trumpet?" "Your trumpet?" "Oh, yeah, the bugle." "Look, drop in and pick it up tomorrow, will you, buddy?" " Waiter!" " Coming!" "Tomorrow?" "Why tomorrow?" "What do you mean?" "Well, you see, I kind of loaned it to my son Junior." "To your son?" "My trumpet?" "Yeah." "He dropped in here on his way to a picnic." "I figured you wouldn't mind." "Oh, wouldn't I?" "Now, you get that trumpet back and get it right away!" "I'm sorry, buddy, but the picnic is over in Cliffside Park." "Cliffside park?" "Where's that?" "Across the river in Joisey." "Joisey?" "Hello." "I'm looking for Junior Porplinski." "You got a nice day for it." "Yes, isn't it?" "He's a little boy, and he has a trumpet." "Ask that cop over there." "Lost kids is his racket, Bub." "Bub?" "Sure is a pretty kid." "You ain't so bad yourself, sister." "Oh, you." "What you doing later on?" "Does the little bitty baby want to cry?" "Well, what are you looking at?" "At you." "That's very amusing." "I mean that bll bil bil!" "Oh, you think it's funny, do you?" "Well, not to me, but to an infant of undeveloped mentality, it's undoubtedly fascinating." "You looking for trouble?" "No, no, no." "I'm looking for Junior Porplinski." "All right, folks!" "Gather round, friends and neighbors, and see the first performance of the big free attraction of the day!" "What's that?" "He's talking about Tarzola the rocket man." "Want to see?" "Yes, yes." "All right, folks, you can't afford to miss this." "You can't afford to pass this by!" "The thrill of thrills!" "Presenting the most amazing, the most reckless daredevil of all time," "Tarzola the rocket man!" "And now, ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness the outstanding scientific accomplishment of all time, demonstrating the new principle of propulsion and included in that great revolutionary secret weapon," "The rocket gun!" "All right, are you ready?" "Go!" "You see?" "It would be much more impressive without the net." "Blow that horn!" "Say, Junior, you've been the bugler all morning." "So what?" "Why don't you let me have it?" "Ok, I'll let you have it." "Gee, is he dead?" "He looks kind of dead!" "Let's roll him!" "Yeah!" "Down to the water!" "Are you all right, mister?" "Yes, yes, I'm fine." "Just sort of surprised me, that's all." "Hey, that's a lovely trumpet you've got there, Junior." "It costed $10 million." "It's all made out of gold." "Yeah, I know." "And what would you say if I told you that trumpet is mine?" "I'd say you was a fink." "A fink?" "Ha ha!" "Well, I was just joking about the trumpet, but, say, I know a good game we can play with it." "What kind of a game?" "Well, it's called "catch the trumpeter. "" "Now, the one who's it hides with the trumpet, and the rest of you close your eyes and count 10." "Then you go search for the one with the trumpet, and if you find him, he has to pay a forfeit." "Yeah, that sounds like a good game." "Well, come on, let's play." "Now, lookit, I'll be it first." "Junior, lend me the trumpet." "All right, here, but remember, if you try and pull a fast one, I'll conk ya!" "Now, don't worry." "Now, look it." "Everybody close your eyes." "Junior, you count to 10." "All close your eyes, and," "All right, close your eyes now." "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" "Look out, mister!" "You'll fall in our bear trap!" "Boys!" "Boys!" "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "What's going on here?" "What's going on here?" "I can explain, ma'am." "We were just playing a game." "Aren't you a little young to be playing games with such grown-up boys?" "Miss rodholder, he's a fink." "He tried to swipe me bugle." "Quiet, Junior." "Now, what about this bugle?" "Well, it's this way, ma'am." "You see" "Boys, boys, please." "Now, boys!" "Hey!" "He beat it with the bugle!" "Oh, boys!" "Boys!" "Come back here!" "There he is!" "Officer, arrest that man!" "He stole a little boy's bugle!" "Stop!" "Boys!" "Come out of there!" "You're very kind." "Your appreciation touches me deeply." "You were very good." "Thank you." "Today you and i know it, dear lady." "Soon the whole world will know it and pay tribute to the artistry of archibald Dexter." "Tomorrow night, I make my debut with Beethoven's ninth symphony." "Beethoven." "He's sweet." "I know him very well." "Oh, I'm sure you do." "That you're a musician one can tell at a glance." "There's that, um, sensitivity." "Do you sing?" "Why, no, no, I don't, but I do play" "Don't tell me." "Let me guess." "It's, um- It's the harp." "How do you know?" "My dear young lady, it's obvious that those slim white fingers were fashioned to weave harp strings into graceful glissandos and stately arpeggios... and that's not all they were fashioned for." "Why, mr." "Dexter." "Uh, that music you were conducting" "Oh, just recordings." "I use it to get in the mood for my concert." "Isn't this delightful?" "Fellow musicians living within a few doors of each other." "Oh, I don't live here." "I'm just visiting a friend." "He's a musician, too- A trumpet player." "A trumpet player?" "Oh, i must meet him." "Oh, he's not in now." "Not in?" "Well, perhaps we can get together a little later on." "I could use a good trumpet player for my symphony." "Tell me- do you play the trumpet at all?" "I regret to say no." "Well... that's all right." "You'll learn." "He's here." "And he has his trumpet with him?" "Yes." "He's on his way to his room now." "Good, good." "Now we can get some action, eh, Dexter?" "Mr. Doremus, if in your impatience you would prefer to have this matter handled by somebody else" "No, no, no, mr." "Dexter." "Only a great artist like yourself could possibly do justice" "Ah, there, Humphrey." "Put it right down there." "Have any trouble stealing it?" "No, boss, but if it's all the sa me to you, next time could you make it a flute?" "What's the idea?" "What's this?" "That, mr." "Osidro, is a harp." "Well, gentlemen, I think you left your hats in the living room, didn't you?" "We must have it before midnight." "Remember." "You said that, mr." "Doremus." "Yes, and he can say it again because if we don't get that trumpet by 12:00" "How much time does that give me?" "It's now just about half past 9:00." "Half past 9:00?" "!" "Pardon us!" "We have an appointment!" "How very odd." "How do I look, Archie?" "My dear, if mr." "Athanael doesn't go for that, he's positively not human." "Humphrey." "Humphrey!" "Huh?" "Humphrey, rouse yourself." "We're going into action." "Oh you pour dear." "It has been a difficult day." "Oh, Elizabeth, you have the most soothing touch, and those fingers of yours" "I know." ""These slim white fingers" ""were fashioned to weave harp strings" ""into graceful glissandos and stately arpeggios... and that's not all they were fashioned for. "" "What's that?" "What do you want?" "Oh, nothing." "Think of it, dear." "In a few hours, we'll be back up there" "Away from all trouble and temptation." "Nothing tempted me down here." "With you an angel senior grade... playing trumpet solos." "I can see it now." "Why is it, Elizabeth, when you and I are together, it's always so quiet and peaceful?" "Who's that?" "The house detective." "Get her out." "Come on, get her out of there." "Wonder what he's talking about." "Why don't you open the door and find out?" "Well, that's the easy way." "What do you wish?" "I wish that you'd bounce that babe out of here, and quick." "I don't understand." "What do I have to do, slug you, johnny?" "Don't you think you might explain?" "Get out!" "Out!" "Just a moment." "What's all this about?" "Oh, same old thing" " This mug registers as a single, but he ain't alone now!" "This is outrageous!" "How dare you question these fine people." "They're friends of mine." "Oh, I'm sorry." "If only i had have knew." "Imbecile, out of my sight." "Your presence revolts me." "Get out." "A most unfortunate occurrence." "Allow me to offer you my suite as a refuge." "Well, thank you." "Thank you very much, but we're only staying until midnight, and then- as a fellow musician, it would make me most happy." "Well..." "Mr. Dexter, you know, is the famous symphony conductor." "We met on the balcony this afternoon." "Really?" "How nice." "Hmm, and while I was away." "My apartment is only a few steps down the corridor." "Well, thank you, mr." "Dexter, but we couldn't possibly" "That's right, Athanael." "We couldn't possibly refuse your invitation." "Ah." "Coming?" "Ah, tomorrow night at Carnegie Hall," "I can just see the audience, spellbound, breathless, and next week, Philadelphia will be at my feet, and Chicago in September." "As Methuselah remarked to me one day," ""You should live so long. "" "What?" "Oh, yes." "Oh, very droll." "Uh, come in." "Ah, welcome, my child." "Hello, uncle Archie." "Elizabeth, I'd like you to meet my little niece miss Blackstone." "This is, uh" "Well, what a lovely surprise!" "Oh, you two have met before?" "Oh, yes, kind of." "It was on the roof." "This is the young lady I was telling you about." "How do you do?" "So this is the girl you said looked quite ordinary." "Well, you see, it was dark when we met." "It was while..." "I know- While I was away." "If i had a boyfriend like him," "I'd never be away." "Funny little Fran, with her peculiar sense of humor." "Do you know, only yesterday I found her masquerading as a cigarette girl right here in this hotel." "Ha ha!" "Anything for a lark." "Who knows?" "Tomorrow i might find her stoking coal." "You might at that." "Ha ha!" "But i don't want to bother you with all this family tittle-Tattle." "Won't you come into my music room?" "I have a piano there that used to belong to Paderewski... and also a rather interesting harp." "A harp?" "Yes." "It, uh-it was my aunt Genevieve's." "I kept it in memory of her." "We'd love to see it." "Aunt Genevieve would be proud." "Coming, Athanael?" "Good-Bye." "Wait!" "Wait?" "What for?" "Why, I want to thank you for what you did for me last night." "Oh, think nothing of it." "But, Athanael!" "Don't run away." "Remember, darling, you saved my life." "Well, don't worry." "I promise you I'll never do it again." "You can't brush me aside like this." "Well, I" "You can't save a girl's life and then ignore her!" "Oh, yes, I can , but of course, you'll take quite a bit of ignoring." "Until you came into my life, everything was so peaceful." "Well, it's going to be peaceful again because I'm going right out of it." "Oh, why didn't you let me jump?" "Why?" "Why?" "Because!" "Because!" "That's why, if you want to know something." "All I did was meet you up on the roof, and I was minding my own business, too." "The only trouble is, I wasn't minding my own business long enough." "How can you talk about business at a time like this?" "Who's talking business?" "But I love you, Athanael." "How many women have loved men as i love you?" "How many men could stand it?" "Please, Athanael, I need your affection." "Kiss me, darling." "Now, wait a minute." "Please, Athanael!" "But I love you, Athanael!" "Athanael, please be gentle with me, dear." "Why don't you try being gentle?" "I'm not used to this sort of thing, you know." "I don't even know if I like it!" "Oh, Athanael, please!" "Can't we just be friends?" "After all, all I did was save your life." "Come close to me, dearest." "Come close." "Please, darling, kiss me." "Do you hear me, darling?" "Come close to me!" "Please, Athanael, come closer to me." "If I got any closer, I'd be standing behind you." "Now, let me go!" "Look at me, darling!" "Can't you see what my eyes are saying?" "Yes, and you ought to watch your language." "I adore you!" "Adore-dore-dore-dore you!" "If I can't have you, nobody else will have you." "After this, I won't be any good to anybody else!" "Now, give me that trumpet!" "Athanael, how can you act like this?" "You treat me like a total stranger!" "I hate to think what would happen if we were old friends!" "It has a beautiful tone." "A lovely instrument." "I've never seen it so lovely." "Don't you think we should be going back?" "Oh, please." "How can you be so calm?" "Calm?" "Who's calm?" "I'm not calm." "Don't I appeal to you?" "Aren't i young, soft, and yielding?" "Now, look, stop, please." "You are shy." "Maybe it's i who should make the approach," "I who should forget my foolish pride." "Emmanuel, I love you." "Athanael!" "Oh." "Hello, folks." "You" "Oh!" "I leave you alone for 5 minutes, and what happens?" "The chief was right." "Then you shouldn't have left me alone." "You know I'm unreliable." "You said so yourself, and besides, what were you doing in the music room with him?" "I was behaving myself, which is more than I can say for you!" "Elizabeth!" "E" " Elizabeth!" "Elizabeth, please." "Elizabeth, I wasn' t doing anything." "Weren't doing anything?" "No." "She was doing it all." "I was merely" "The chief!" "We'd better get that trumpet." "Hold on." "You can't get away with this." "I searched that shaft from top to bottom, and it was empty." "Empty!" "Do you hear me?" "Now, what am I supposed to believe" "That our elevator goes up to the roof and keeps on going?" "Yes." "How did you know?" "Well... ha ha!" "It's my business to know things." "You see, I'm a detective, and naturally I, uh..." "I can't understand it." "I put it right there." "It isn't there now, and it's nowhere in the room." "Who would take a thing like that?" "Nobody but us knows how important that trumpet is." "No, only Doremus and Osidro." "What?" "Are they here?" "Yes." "They're living up on the roof." "Come on!" "1, 2, 3" "See, gentlemen?" "I promised you the trumpet by midnight," "And I delivered it with a few minutes to spare." "There you are- 10,000." "Nice work, Fran, old girl." "Humphrey did pretty well, too." "Yes, considering his stupidity." "Gee, thanks, boss." "I'd have liked to have seen Athanael's face when he found the trumpet was gone." "Well, I guess this calls for a drink." "Shall we go into the penthouse?" "Don't forget the trumpet." "Athanael!" "The trumpet!" "Keep away from me!" "Stay away, now!" "I'm warning you!" "Stay away!" "Take that trumpet away from him, Doremus!" "Why don't you take it away from him?" "Athanael, Elizabeth, are you ready?" "It's almost midnight." "We're ready, chief." "Everything's fine." "Give us that trumpet, Athanael." "No, no, you stay away from me, Doremus." "5000 more, if you get it back again." "You heard the gentleman, Humphrey." "Ok, boss." "Come here, you." "Don't touch me!" "You stay away from me, now." "I'm warning you." "I'm warning you." "Don't come near me, now." "Don't let him blow that horn!" "Don't worry!" "I got you!" "Hey, this is dangerous!" "Steady now!" "Don't lose your nerve!" "Got a good grip on him?" "No, but he's got a good grip on me!" "I disapprove of this whole thing, Elizabeth!" "You disapprove?" "What about Athanael?" "Humphrey, $5,000!" "Keep your head, Doremus!" "Keep your head!" "You got it!" "You keep it!" "Don't let him blow that horn!" "How can i stop him from here?" "Steady, now!" "Look out!" "I'm slipping!" "Ah, you're choking me!" "If you drop Athanael, you'll regret it!" "So will Athanael!" "Chief, do something!" "Help him!" "I could use a little help myself." "I can't hold his leg much longer." "It's too heavy." "Hey, let me go!" "Here I come, chief!" "I hope you don't get one of those twinges now!" "Compared to this, it would be a pleasure!" "If I ever get out of this," "I'm going to live in the subway!" "At least you might thank me for not letting go." "Oh, you're doing this just for me." "Chief, don't worry." "I'm coming." "Can't hold out much longer." "Very well." "I'll go and get some help." "Athanael, I think I'm catching cold." "Give me that bugle!" "Give me that thing!" "You see?" "See, chief?" "I got it!" "Help!" "Help me!" "Ok, chief!" "I got it!" "See?" "Look at the clock!" "We still have 4 minutes!" "Hey, if these suspenders break , you'll be in trouble!" "Don't drop him, Humphrey!" "He's worth $5,000!" "Look how high I am!" "Hey, what are you doing?" "Don't climb back on the roof and leave me here alone!" "There he goes!" "There he goes!" "Look, the coffee's draining out!" "Athanael's going down that tube!" "Chief, he's going into the coffeepot!" "He'll drown!" "Hey, I'm getting wet!" "I'm all right!" "See?" "See, I got it!" "Down... down... down you go," "Down into the soft, soothing, peaceful nothingness of Slumberland." "Ah, sleep, beautiful sleep." "Paradise coffee will let you sleep, and then next morning, what happens?" "You wake up!" "You're bright!" "You're alive!" "And now in conclusion, the orchestra plays our closing theme." "What's the matter with you?" "Elizabeth, I just had the craziest dream." "You know, if you ever saw it in the movies," "You'd never believe it."