"(LAUGHING)" "You'll want to fix that." "Well, here it is." "The Stratford, one of the oldest inns in Vermont." "Still standing virtually the same as it was back in 1774 and pretty much the same as when you folks first saw it two weeks ago." "Yes, they say James Madison once stayed here." "Really?" "Really?" "See, Joanna?" "That's great." "I mean, just being in a place like this, we're gonna know things about James Madison that we, you know, we'd never know from any book." "Like what?" "Well, for one thing, he didn't care where he slept." "Yeah, you did say there was a caretaker?" "George Utley, yes." "His folks have been taking care of this place for as long as people around here can remember." "What do you think?" "I like it." "No, you don't." "Yes, I do." "I'm just as excited about this as you are." "No, you're not." "All right." "Maybe not as much as you are, but I'm pretty darn excited." "Joanna, we don't have to buy an inn." "We'll just forget the whole thing." "We'|| say we came up for the drive, took in a little scenery, smelled a little fresh air." "What about our deposit?" "Ate a $2,000 lunch." "Dick, honey, that's ridiculous." "Besides, I have a feeling that you love this place." "Yeah." "(BANGING ON DOOR)" "Oh, that's George, the caretaker." "George, I'd like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Loudon." "How do?" "Hello." "Looks like they're buying the place." "Well, let's say we're pretty close." "Shoot, I bet I'm out of work, then." "Well, not necessarily." "We'|| still need a caretaker." "Yeah, but no raise, I bet." "No." "okaV" "George, before you go, do you mind my asking what you're working on?" "You know that little doohickey inside a furnace, by the door, under the screen?" "I'm working on the thing next to that." "(GEORGE WHISTLING)" "He seems like a real knowledgeable guy." "Dick, why don't we just go ahead and do this?" "You mean that?" "Sure." "Now, I'm not saying we won't have doubts." "We're used to Manhattan." "Our friends are there." "Our whole life is there." "Do you realize I'm on the collection committee to six different diseases?" "We have disease here." "Not to mention your work." "You're used to writing in a tiny little apartment." "Who knows if you can write up here?" "We always say, ''If you can't write here, you can't write."" "(CHUCKLES)" "Then there's all the repairs this place needs, which neither of us knows how to do." "Well, you know, I have written some how-to books." "Unfortunately, you never wrote one on how to change your life." "Look, Joanna, there are a million reasons not to buy this place." "That's why most people don't." "And maybe that's the one reason we should." "I mean, we are standing on the threshold of one of the great adventures of our lives and we have that rare opportunity to pursue the American dream and all we have to do is just have the courage to say, "Let's go for it."" "(GASPSI" "That's stirring." "Where have I heard it?" "It's from the prologue I wrote to Building Your Own Patio Cover." "Right." "Are you excited?" "I'm excited." "Mr." "Shaver, I guess we'll take it." "Goody." "No, wait." "Oh, God, hold everything!" "You didn't take it yet, did you?" "Just now." "Why?" "Oh, then no big deal." "Honey, look at what I found in the study." "Oh, what is it?" "It's a box of stuff." "Lucky you." "You know, this really isn't fair." "I mean, I'm on a treasure hunt, and you're down on your hands and knees trying to get the char off the fireplace." "You wanna switch?" "No, I just wanted to let you know I was aware of it." "(BANGING ON DOOR)" "Remind me to fix that." "I hung that shutter back up that fell off." "I didn't know a shutter was off." "Yeah, I knocked one off this morning trying to fix that window." "I didn't know there was anything wrong with the window." "Yeah, I broke the darn thing trying to clean it." "Well, what do you want me to do next?" "George, you could fix the front door." "What's the matter with it?" "It sticks." "It sticks." "Yeah, right." "Yeah, I'll get my plane and shave it." "I think it's gonna take along time to get this place in shape." "Well, it'd go a lot quicker if we can stop George from fixing it." "Hi, can I help you?" "We weren't sure anyone was here." "Are you open for business?" "Not really." "(WHISPERING) Yes." "But we can be." "Why not?" "Great." "How much are your rooms?" "How much are the rooms?" "Why don't you step over here, and I'll look it up in the ledger?" "To be honest with you, we're new at this." "We just bought this place." "Oh." "Rooms, rooms, rooms, rooms." "Here we go." "That'll be a farthing." "Dick!" "How's 40?" "That's a little more than we wanted to spend." "How's 20?" "Hey, 20 is fine." "Okay, if you just give me your John Hancock." "Where?" "Right there under "John Hancock."" "Okay, here you go." "Top of the stairs and down the hall." "Thank you." "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Pomerantz." "I'll bring you up some fresh linens in just a minute." "Okay, thanks." "Dick, we have guests." "Our first 20 bucks." "See, you were worried about the money, weren't you?" "Honey, we figured this all out." "I make enough from writing to take care of this place whether anybody stays here and still have money left over for you name it." "Food?" "Possibly, if we..." "I know what you're thinking." "You're thinking that door made me look like an ass." "Well, I'm glad it happened and I'll tell you why." "Because now you know I'm not just some slick-talking guy off the street." "How you doing?" "Kirk Devane." "Dick Loudon, and this is my wife Joanna." "Happy to meet you." "Happy?" "Thrilled." "I own the place next door." "The Minuteman Cafe?" "And Souvenir Shop." "I was so glad when I heard someone bought this place." "Ought to be good for both of us." "Well, let's hope so." "Yeah." "Listen, if we're gonna be neighbors and maybe even friends, there's something you have to know about me right upfront." "And what's that?" "I'm an habitual liar." "Actually, that's not true." "What I mean is, it's something I'm aware of and working to correct." "I only bring it up because admitting it is part of my therapy." "Well, thanks." "Thanks for being so honest." "Actually, I'm not in therapy." "I lied about that." "But everything else I said was true, or probably as close to it as I'll ever get." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Excuse me." "Hello." "Who?" "Mr. Pomerantz." "Hold on." "Just a minute, I'll check." "Low tonight should be around 30 with gusty winds and a chance of freezing rain." "Why?" "Your window is missing." "Yeah, I believe our caretaker knows something about that." "We'll take care of it right away." "No trouble at all." "Really, it's not a silly request." "So, Dick, they tell me you're a writer." "That's more than fascinating." "Anything I'd know?" "I don't think so." "Dick writes mostly informational books." "How to Panel in Hard-ta-Reach Places." "The Joy of Tubing." "Know Your Harley." "Honey, you don't have to list them all." "Why not?" "You're good." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hello." "Yes, Mr. Pomerantz." "There's no heat in your room." "Well, maybe it only feels like there's no heat because you have that big hole where the window used to be." "Have you felt the radiator?" "You know, sometimes it takes them a while..." "You don't have a radiator." "You have anything in the room up there that looks like it might give off heat?" "Your wife's getting a little steamed." "We'll fix it right away." "You're not being a pest." "Goodbye." "So, you're busy and I'm bored, so why don't I drop back over another time?" "Oh, by the way, did I mention your guests get a 10% discount at my place?" "No, you didn't." "Good." "I bet after you get to know him, he grows on you." "I'll take that bet." "I better get those linens." "Which reminds me, can we still afford that maid we talked about?" "Well, it's an operating expense." "It's deductible." "Oh, great." "I deduct it from our savings." "Well, I got my plane." "Now, which door was it?" "Leslie, if you don't mind my asking, why are you interested in being a maid?" "Well, to be honest with you, Mr. Loudon," "I'd just like to get out and experience the real world." "You see, all my life, I have had everything given to me, money, cars, clothes, schooling." "I want to find out what it's like to be average." "It's fun." "I probably don't have a chance, but I'd really like to have this job, and I'd work really hard at it." "As for my qualifications," "I have a degree in European History, and I'm presently attending Dartmouth studying for my Masters in Renaissance Theology, and in my free time," "I'm practicing with the hope of becoming a member of the US Olympics ski team." "That's basically what we're looking for in a maid." "Leslie, I can't see any reason not to give you the job." "I can't see any reason not to vote for you." "The job is yours." "Mr. Loudon, thank you." "This is terrific." "Thank you." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Come in." "Hi, Dick." "I just brought over some things from the store that I've been looting from this place over the years." "Nothing ofany real value." "This looks kind of interesting." "Yeah?" "Well, the rest of the stuff is junk." "Hi." "I don't believe we've had the utter thrill of meeting." "I'm Kirk." "Leslie Vanderkellen." "Kirk what?" "Douglas." "That's not true." "His name is Kirk Devane." "Actually, that's not true." "I lied to you, Dick." "Your name is really Kirk Douglas?" "No, it's not that either." "You see what a sickness this is?" "Hi, how's the interview going?" "Great." "Great." "This is Leslie Vanderkellen." "This is my wife Joanna." "Hello." "Hi." "And you know...whoever." "We just hired Leslie." "She's gonna move in and work for us while she's going to school." "Oh, that's wonderful." "Well, I guess that's about it." "Why don't I get George and he can show you around?" "Why don't you get me to show her around?" "Thank you." "Leslie, what are you studying?" "European History and Renaissance Theology." "Say hello to fate." "That's what my degrees are in." "Dick, the DWI just called." "The who?" "The Daughters of the War for Independence." "They heard from the real estate agent that the inn was opening again, and they want 12 rooms for next weekend." "Why?" "Well, honey, apparently a number of their ancestors stayed here during the winter of 1775." "Well, that's great." "It's just..." "Well, I just don't think we're ready to host a lot of people yet." "Dick, we're talking about a lot of money, and look how much we've lost fixing up the Pomerantz's room." "Honey, we didn't lose that money." "We'll still break even." "Maybe not in our lifetime." "I mean, the purpose of buying the Stratford was to restore it, not to make money off it." "I think we're talking about our integrity here." "Okay, if you feel that strongly about it, I'll just tell them no." "I'll also tell them you won't be giving a speech on the inn's history." "What's that?" "Like they wanted you to." "They asked for that?" "See, that's not fair." "I mean, you know that I'm a sucker for talking about this place." "I mean, I love that stuff." "It's up to you, Dick." "What do you want to do?" "Well, I've already taken my position." "There's only one thing I can do." "I'm changing my mind." "Hi." "Remember me?" "You're Kirk something." "Right." "Listen, if you're not busy," "I was wondering if you would like to go to a movie." "You're joking, right?" "Right." "I meant go get a pizza." "I'm waxing the floor." "How about tomorrow?" "I'm sorry, I can't go tomorrow night." "You see, I have this really close friend, and, well, we've been almost like sisters to each other ever since I was 10 years old." "Well, the last two years, she's had this really serious illness and we didn't know whether she was gonna pull through or not." "But she did and she met this really neat guy, and they're really in love, and they're getting married tomorrow night," "and I'm serving as maid of honor." "Any chance you can get out of it?" "Well, I got the rooms cleaned, the baths ready and the carpets vacuumed." "Oh, and Leslie is working out great." "Did you know that her family owns their own island in the Caribbean?" "She told me that this morning while we were cleaning grout." "I'm sorry, Joanna." "This is amazing." "What is?" "Well, I was looking for some special material on 1775, like the Daughters asked me, and I ran across this packet of letters." "This one is dated January 30,1775." ""Dearest Annabelle, I could not march on to Concord without expressing to you" ""my deepest gratitude for the kindness you showed me," ""and, in fact, the entire platoon," ""upon our recent visit to the Stratford Inn." ""My sincerest regards to all your fine young ladies" ""who understand the rigors of battle" ""and their tender affections which soothes a soldier's heart."" "Then he goes into more bawdy prose." "Dick, what does this mean?" "I think it means, in the winter of 1775, the inn was whatever our forefathers' word was for a cathouse." "How in the world are you gonna tell a Daughter of the War for Independence that her great-great-great-grandmother may have been..." "A fun date?" "(CHATTERING)" "Can I get you anything?" "No, thank you." "okaV" "Oh, Dick, they're waiting for you." "How do I look?" "Nervous." "Have you figured out what to say yet?" "Ifl figured that out, I wouldn't care how I looked." "They seem to be having a good time, honey." "I'll put a stop to that." "Well, I've served all the hors d'oeuvres." "Good luck." "Thanks." "Well, I set up your podium." "Oh, okay." "I put it by the fireplace, in front of all those chairs." "Good." "It's brown." "I think I'll find it." "I'm here if you don't." "Well, I guess this is it." "Good luck, honey." "(EXHALES)" "Oh, there you are." "Daughters, Daughters, would you please take your seats?" "Please be seated." "Attention, everyone." "It's time to start the second half of our meeting." "I'm sure that we're all looking forward to this, as many of us feel a kindred spirit for the Stratford Inn, and especially the winter of 1775." "I'm sure our guest speaker tonight is going to enlighten us more about that year." "He's an author, a self-admitted history buff and the owner of the Stratford." "Would you please join me in giving him a warm welcome?" "Dick Loudon." "Mr. Loudon." "How very nice of you." "Welcome." "Thank you." "Thank you, Mrs. Hamilton." "Well, what can I tell you about the Stratford?" "It was built in 1774 by Nathan Potter and named because it was built much like his ancestors' home in Stratford, England." "Nathan Potter died only two months after the inn was built, and his family moved to Boston, where apparently Mrs. Potter had relatives." "Then somebody else bought it." "Jumping to the 1800s..." "Excuse me for interrupting, Mr. Loudon, but you jumped over 1775." "Did I?" "By gollv." "I did." "We were especially interested in that." "You see, we know that we have letters from some of our ancestors showing that they stayed here during that winter, and apparently they had a wonderful time." "(STAMMERING) Are you sure it was here?" "Oh, yes." "So, we would like to hear what you know about that particular year and the rest of the stuff, you can flush." "Well, when you put it that way." "Before I tell you about the winter of 1775, just bear in mind that there was a war going on, and war, as everyone knows, can be not good." "And there was probably lousy weather, which forced them to spend a lot of time indoors." "Excuse me again, Mr. Loudon, but just what are you trying to say?" "It's what I'm trying not to say." "You know, sometimes people think they want to know things and then, when they know them, they wish they didn't." "What do you know, Loudon?" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Well, since you're forcing me to say this." "Ladies, according to my information, in the winter of 1775, when all your ancestors were staying here, the Stratford was not so much an inn as it was a house of..." "Let me put it this way, there's every reason to believe you may not be so much Daughters of the War for Independence," "as you are daughters of a three-day pass." "(ALL GASPING)" "Well, I can tell from your stunned silence you're not taking this well." "I wish there was something I could say." "Really, it's not as bad as you think." "If you could read some of the letters I read, this place meant a lot to our fighting men." "It inspired them to rededicate themselves to the war effort, sometimes after only a few hours." "Are you saying we shouldn't be upset?" "Well, maybe not." "Maybe Vermont wouldn't be Vermont today if the Stratford hadn't been what it was then." "My God, he could have a point." "And it wasn't just Vermont it helped." "From some of the letters I read, guys from New Hampshire and Massachusetts..." "Good for them." "Ladies, let's face it, America might not be America today without the Stratford." "And I, for one, am not too proud to tip my hat and say well done." "(ALL CHEERING)" "(ALL CHATTERING)" "Dick, am I crazy or are those women happy?" "I don't know what you said, but it certainly turned the trick."