"TWELVE CYLON MODELS" "SEVEN ARE KNOWN" "FOUR LIVE IN SECRET" "ONE WILL BE REVEALED previously,on battlestar galactica." "you'll be safe here,gaius." "Please,god,don't let this child die." "God answered your prayers," " you have to see." " What?" "look at him." "and no trace of a fever." "it's a miracle." "Tory,tory,tory." "Fancy finding you in the cafeteria." "You have an abundance of feeling." "I suppose I could be a cylon." "Cylons can feel." "You believe that?" "Yeah,I do actually." "I want to explain." "She sought us out." "You know what has to be done here." "Now,it would be better for her sake if it was you." "Let's say cally does find out." "What do we do then?" "The last thing we need is for your cylon-hating wife to find out there's a bunch of skinjobs running around this ship." "And that her husband is one of them." "Ll stay the frak away from me!" "I heard you." "You're cylons." "A bunch of frakking skinjobs." "I couldn't keep you safe from harm,my love, but I kept you in my heart." "You were the breath in my lungs, the blood in my veins, the light in my eye,and now that breath is gone." "That blood and the light are gone." "I am left,a voice." "And the lords of kobol,as many and as varied as mortal men, must bend down and lean low to hear that voice and hear my lament." "With all our thoughts and love, calandra henderson tyrol, we send your spirit into the universe." "So say we all." "so say we all." "I liked that service." "It's not for me,I'll tell you that." "I know,but I want you to know what I like." "It was lovely." "Thank you." "Why do they have to do these things at dawn?" "It's all right." "They do because they have to." "I'm sorry." "Let me know if you need anything." "Thank you." "Sorry about your loss." "Sorry,chief." "What the frak was that?" "Get us all killed." "Chief." "I'm--I'm so sorry." "What's it up to today?" "Same as-- sleeping,pacing." "Don't know how it doesn't go nuts." "Probably turns its brain off." "Frakkin' toaster." "Yeah." "Colonel." "Your request to see the child, hera agathon,has been denied." "And you felt the need to come all the way down here in person to tell me that again?" "You think I want to come down here?" "We're done." "I think we're not." "You come every day." "but you never ask questions anymore." "Is there something that you want from me?" "Is there something that you need?" "Stay back." "See you tomorrow,colonel." "door!" "What was that at the service this morning?" "Why don't you get on the wireless and tell the fleet about us?" "Are you going to deal with that kid?" "Probably needs to be changed." "All right." "You think cally killed herself because of you,don't you?" "She thought we were having an affair." "But we weren'T." "I don't even know what I am anymore." "I don't know which of my memories are real." "I don't know that I've had one action in my life that isn't programmed." "Galen,you're perfect." "You don't need guilt." "We were made to be perfect." "what is that?" "More of baltar's crap?" "So." "you just live without guilt?" "Just shut it down." "No,that wasn't the deal." "Colonel,you said it yourself." "Be the man you want to be till the day you die." "We're still the same people,aren't we?" "Of course,we are." "You shut up." "That is not the same as human." "Like we're stronger,right?" "Chief,what you're feeling is what a man feels when this happens." "It's normal,and it's human." "And it's not gonna end anytime soon." "It'll be there every day." "You'll see her every day." "You'll see her." "be a man,chief." "Feel what you gotta feel." "But don't risk us." "Come on,tory." "Just think about it." "Think about what we are." "What we can do." "39,675 SURVIVORS" "IN SEARCH OF A HOME" "CALLED EARTH" "Battlestar Galactica Season 4 Episode 4" "Dear gods,what." "Gods?" "Thought there was only one." "What are you doing?" "Pulling one hair from your head at a time." "It's intense,isn't it?" "Yeah." "It happens at the same time as a pleasurable touch." "Frak!" " Signals get crossed,don't they?" " Yeah." "It's hard to tell the pleasure from the pain." "Yeah." "Okay,listen,I think that... you're very strong,aren't you?" "You really." "I think I preferred it when you cried." "if you assume that god forgives you,then it's gone,right?" "Erased?" "Forgiveness." "You must consecrate the sin." " Make it benign." " Oh,yeah." " Bad becomes good." " Oh,yes,it does." "Pain becomes pleasure." "and doesn't that mean, if you really become one with god, you can never do wrong?" "Noll,um,not really,because that wou." "That would more than imply that we're all perfect." " Perfect?" " Yeah." " Perfect just as we are." " No,no,no!" "No!" "Go on,go,get out!" "Where is gaius baltar?" "He isn't here." "You,on your feet." "Find him." "Where is he?" "I don't know." "security alert." "Deck 8,section 14." "One minute!" "go!" "go!" "go!" "we're coming back r gaius baltar." "frak!" "Finishing up,chief?" "Yeah,just give me one more relay." "I think it's a boy." "Here you go,chief." "Nice to be small,huh?" "Chief,we ready to go?" "I gotta get out of here." "Yeah." "Go ahead." "Raptor away.Readings nominal." "racetrack/ redwing." "We been waiting for that school bus of yours all day." "School bus,huh?" "What's that make those things?" "Bicycles?" "Racing cars,sweetheart." "top fuel racers." "It's not gonna look very good when they get beat by a school bus." "Okay,let's ride." "What the frak?" "Galactica/ racetrack,I have no control in my port rear lower rcs thruster." "Skulls,get your ass up here." "galactica/racetrack,coming about." "Clear port landing deck for emergency landing." "racetrack/galactica,emergency landing cleared." "One,two,three,four." "One,two,three." "Coming in hot." "too hot!" "Where's the admiral?" "Where is he?" "And what are you doing,taking notes, standing here,mr.Officious?" "You should be out there,right now, trying to find the people,whoever they are!" "Whatever you say,sir." "You can read the old text,can't you,gaius?" "sons of ar-is?" "Ares.Sons of ares." "they're the people who committed this attack." "Obviously,a fundamentalist splinter group." "Although,all they're doing is trying to protect the old gods." "old gods die hard." "Even among your people." "I've seen you here before." "Your name is." "don't tell me,um,begins with "M." " Lilly." " Lilly." "What's in your hand,lilly?" "Asklepius." "The god of healing." "I know you'll heal our people." "But I thought." "the old gods are fighting back." "those capacitors are still hot." "Watch yourself,chief." "Take my glove." "Frak me." "My fault,didn't get swapped out." "Yeah,we could have died." " Was that in your pocket?" " We don't have to do this." "You're right,we're okay." "It's okay." "Is it?" "Skulls,is it?" "Galen." "I don't need to be patted on the head." "You can tell me I frakked up." "Nobody got hurt,ok?" "Forget it." " You're only human." " No!" "Don't say that!" "Tell me I frakked up!" "Say it!" "Tell me I frakked up!" "Any one of you." "Cowards!" "Chief,uh,I can handle this." "Why don't you take a little down time?" "Get out of the raptor,figurski." "people have room in their hearts for one great belief, you or the old gods." "Which one will it be?" "Why can't I just be a man?" "Do I really need to take on the gods single-handed?" "Oh,but imagine the kind of man you'll be when you do." "Surely such a man must be magnificent, larger-than-life,godlike himself." "What are you talking about?" "It's not about that at all." "It's about this." "Stop!" "Stop." "This is unacceptable." "We have been targeted because of what we believe by those who answer to faceless gods that bear no relevance in our world." "They want us to be afraid." "And I'm tired of being afraid." "The time has come to make a stand." "And that time is now." "Gaius,what-- what are you doing?" "Where are you going?" "Gaius?" "We ****** These stupid old gods!" "Sir,we're having a service." "Are you?" "But whom are you serving?" " I have to ask you to leave." " Do you?" "Would you be serving zeus?" "Apparently,king of the gods, who also happened to be, let me tell you,a serial rapist." "Prone to giving birth out of his own forehead." "That's very likely,isn't it?" "Well,gods strike me down." " Oh,what are you going to do?" " Damn you." "You ignorant witch,telling the people lies and stories." "Maybe you want me to pray to asklepius, who healed wounds with the blood of gorgons, or aphrodite or artemis or any other of this rubbish!" "How awful!" "Out of the way,you hideous old witch." "That's the kind of rubbish that you made!" "I will not be destroyed at this level!" "Am I that late?" "No,this wasn't a treatment." "It was just a blood test." "You brought a new book?" "Uh,yes." "Something different this time." "It's a classic." "My favorite." "Searider falcon,I haven't read it in years." "I don't remember how it ends." "I don't either.I never read the ending." "You're kidding.It's your favorite." "I like it so much,I don't want it to be over." "So I'm saving it." "Maybe I should do that." "That's a bad idea.Maybe not." "Let me do that for you." "Okay,thanks." "Baltar's back at home in the brig again." "Desecration of a temple." "It's his revenge for what happened to him this morning." "It was brutal." "I have my personnel trying to track down anything on the sons of ares." "But nobody's talking." "The thing is that baltar knows that there are religious hardliners in dogsville, but he continues to provoke." "I just can't have a religious war in this fleet." "Oh,please,no." "Then the whole damn thing will become our frakkin' responsibility,yours and mine." "Seriously,bill,we have 30,000 people left and they're not happy unless they're kicking each other's teeth in." "This is what we've become?" "No,it's him." "Baltar has an uncanny way of stirring up all the crap." "I wonder if he'd be willing to stay in lockdown, indefinitely,for his own safety." "And make a martyr out of him?" "No way." "Those girly,groupie,sex whatever-they-are, they already think he's a god." "So we kick him off of the galactica." "No,I want him close." "I'm going to the brig." "You want to see him?" "I want him to see me." "Oh,we didn't even make it to tomorrow,did we?" "You asked what I want." "I want to know how it feels to have killed billions of human beings, to have all that blood on your hands." "Think it through." "Because that's what I want." "I feel it." "Do you really think that I couldn't?" "Do you?" "Or do you turn it off?" "Is there a switch in your head that you turn off?" "You talk like we're different, but you know we're not." "Weapons." "Working late,or up early,chief?" "You act like you think I'm made of switches and relays." "Look." "veins,not wires." "We're the same." "Do you see we're the same?" "Then tell me." "Tell you what?" "How you live with what you've done." "Saul,are you asking for absolution?" "Forgiveness?" "I can give you that." "Stand down." "Step outside." "Just tell me what the trouble is." "No.You have nothing to offer me." "We're not the same." "Were you asleep?" "What is it this time?" "Here to strip-search me?" "Or could it possibly be that your presence here means that the president has been made aware of my situation." "It's being looked into." " Is it really?" " Aggressively." "Now here's the thing." "I want you to look at me,gaius." "Just look at me." "This is a wig." "I'm dying." "Now,if you look in my eyes." "go ahead,look." "You can probably see it." "I'm very sorry." "No,no,no,no,I don't want your pity." "I'm still doing my job." "In fact,I'm gonna aggressively pursue the men that attacked you." "And I'm going to limit the size of public assemblies to protect your people,but." "I'm going to be slipping away from this life very soon." "And I've gotten kind of curious as to what that's going to be like, and so,I did some research." "And there are some people who say that when people are getting closer to their death, they just don't care as much about rules and laws and conventional morality." "Are you threatening me?" "No,no,I'm just saying have a quiet life." "And I'll die a quiet little death." "And everyone will be happy." "It's just that I'm not in the mood any longer to indulge you." "And that'S." "all." "And you are being released,so." "stay safe." "Hey,chief." "We all miss her,chief." "I understand if you need some time off." "Or even if you might need more shifts to keep yourself busy." "No one knows how they're going to react to loss like this, or what they're gonna need." "I don't need special treatment." "I guess she just couldn't take it,huh?" "Being married to a cylon?" "Being the mother of a half-breed abomination?" " *****" " Thank you." "She was a good woman." "If you really believe that, you wouldn't have threatened to stick her up against a bulkhead and shoot her." "It's okay,though." "I thought about doing it many times myself." "Believe me." "Chief,it's... how many of us ended up with the people we really wanted to be with?" "Got stuck with the best of limited options?" "And why?" "Because the ones we really wanted, the really loved,were dead and dying, or turned out to be cylons and they didn't know it." "If boomer had." " listen." " if I had known." " Listen,let'S." " no." " Let's go." " No,no." "I didn't know." " let's go home" " I didn't know." "So I buried my head in the sand and I took it and I settled!" "I settled for that shriek, those dull vacant eyes, the boiled cabbage stench of her." "And why?" "Because this is my life!" "This is the life I picked." "And it's fine,but you know what?" "It's not." "I didn't pick this life." "This is not my frakkin' life." "What the hell's gotten into you?" "Don't do this." "Don't do this to her memory." "You know what?" "I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to, or the way you might." "But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel." "But I can see you have." "And now you've come down here to be in my club, but you're not in my club." "You don't know what frakkin' club I'm in 'cause you never asked the right questions." "Chief,let's get out of here." "No." "Why don't you go?" "Take care of your precious ship." "Stop it." "Stop all of this." "'Cause if you don't,I'm going to have to act on it." " Now shut up." " Great!" "Do it!" "Please!" "For the love of gods,please demote me." "Get me off your frakkin' ship!" "Specialist tyrol,I want you off my hangar deck before you endanger another pilot." "You're to report to petty officer bassom tomorrow morning at 0600 for reassignment." "Do you understand?" "of course you have authority over emergency measures, but you bulldozed this through after the session was closed." "Yes ****" "It's a crowd control measure." "I also authorized the repair of a cargo elevat or do you want to talk about that too?" "Crowd control?" "Looks to me like it was pretty well designed purely to stop gaius baltar's organization." "You mean his cult?" "Well his "cult" was attacked." "And from what I'm hearing around the fleet, it was pretty brutal." "It was brutal." "Exactly." "And this measure is designed explicitly to protect those people." "If they aren't gathering en masse, they aren't provokreg sentment." "But limits his group,while permitting more mainstream worship." "wherever gaius baltar is,violence happens." "And if he doesn't cause it,he draws it." "My job,mr.Adama,is and always will be, to keep the people safe." "Madame president, I have to wonder tifhis resolution couldn't be used against other offshoot religious groups." "Absolutely not." "Gaius baltar is a special case." "You know that." "And we're making him a special case." "And how are we doing that?" "We're fueling his argument." "I mean,after all,is he preaching violence?" " Immoral acts?" " I don't know." "I haven't been to one of his..." "what are they called?" "Services?" "It's not that far from what some of our own mithras followers believe." "We have mithrasaries among the gemenese." "Can this order be applied to them?" "Clear your heads." "We are talking about gaius baltar." "Everyone in this room experienced tragedy at new caprica." "Have we forgotten?" "Will you open this order" " to a full quorum vote?" " No." "we can override,madam president." "I cannot let this stand." "You can override,and you cannot let this stand,mr.Adama?" "Then you open it up to a vote." "And if you strike this down, you can all go back to your constituents and you can tell them what you've done, and "we,the people," will have triumphed." "But think about what it's gonna cost you." "Because every single one of you remembers what it was like when gaius baltar had political power." "And you should be terrified to think about what this man will do with blind religious devotion." "So go ahead." "Vote." "Should I get used to waking up to this face?" "You're traveling light." "An informal chat." "Just you and me." "and the man watching through the cameras." "You haven't answered my question." "You want to know how I work?" "If I can turn off pain?" "Can you?" "I want the pain." "It's how I learn." "I was instrumental in the destruction of humanity." "But at the same time,I learned because." "because I fell in love." "With a human man." "And he was mortal." "And fallible." "And he had this incredible pride in himself." "He thought he knew everything there was to know." "And I loved him with my whole heart." "And then one day,I realized I wouldn't have him forever." "I understood what I'd done." "How I betrayed him and humanity." "And that pain taught me to understand death." "Baltar could die." " And I loved him." " No." " Baltar's heart was ephemeral." " No." "Baltar's body was fragile in my hands." "No,we are not gonna talk about the fragile body of gaius frakkin' baltar!" "Door!" "Door!" "Dismissed." "Clear out,out!" "Frak,what's he gonna do to her?" "I can tell you how to turn it off." "How?" "Pain is how I learn from the guilt." "There's wisdom there." "Clarity." "You know yourself there." "Pain." "Our minds were designed based on your minds." "We learn things about how you work that you've never known." "When you're in pain,that's when you learn who you really are." "That's when you focus, sharp as the point of a knife." "I can give you that clarity again." "I'm sorry,sir,I'm not supposed to let you enter." "What's going on?" "What are you doing?" "There are 12 people inside already." "You can count,can you?" "Yes,sir,you can't enter without breaking emergency provision 170." "People,let me out." " If I leave,then he can come in." " Yes,if she leaves," " then I can come in." " We're asking everyone" " to stay inside for safety reasons." " Oh,this is absurd." " You're just counting heads." " I have my orders." "Yeah,but I live here,okay?" "I live here,and so do some of these women." "Where are we supposed to go?" "this is your moment,gaius." "Step forward.Make a stand." "Uh,I don't want to be a hero." "I just want to go to bed." " Go to sleep." " Look at me." "I promise you." "Step forward,and you will not be hurt." " Promise me?" " Yes, you can lie down inside.Go in." "Stop,sir." "gaius!" "Get your frakkin' hands off me, you frakkin' freak machine!" "Can you feel it,saul?" "Can you feel the clarity of it?" "stay down or clear this area,sir!" "You have to do this." "The gain will outweigh the cost." "I want to stay down." "I really want to stay down." "No,you don'T." "Stay down,please,sir!" "Wait,wait,stop!" "Lieutenant." "Stand down." "The quorum has just met in an emergency session." "Full right of assembly has been restored." "You can,uh,you can go back into your home." " No one will stop you." " Oh,gaies." "thank you" "I don't do these things for you." "You do them because your god compels you." "Okay,okay." "Lee has no idea." "He really has no idea." "Have you heard anything I said?" "There are pragmatic realities he refuses to face." "Well,that'pra oblem,of course." "He's doing what he thinks is right." "Well,yeah,he's lee." "Thing is,it probably is the right thing,but." "sometimes the right thing is a luxury." "And it can have profoundly dangerous consequences." "And yet it's almost as if he doesn't want that to be true." "Okay,I gotta stop this." "I'm not supposed to get upset during treatment." "Will you read the next chapter?" "I must warn you that I'm getting into the part that I haven't read yet." "Oh dear." "Are you going to be able to continue?" "Chapter 7:" "The raft was not as seaworthy as I had hoped." "The waves repeatedly threatened to swamp it." "I wasn't afraid to die." "I was afraid of the emptiness that I felt inside." "I couldn't feel anything." "That's what scared me." "It came into my thoughts." "It filled them." "It felt good." "More." "No." "Keep going." "No,I made a mistake." "This isn't what you need." "I'm not a priest." "I've never even been a particularly good man." "I have,in fact,been a profoundly selfish man." "But that doesn't matter,you see." "Something in the universe loves me." "Something in the universe loves the entity that is me." "I will choose to call this something "god." "A singular spark that dwells in the soul of every living being." "If you look inside yourself, you will find this spark too." "You will." "But you have to look." "Deep." "Love your faults." "Embrace them." "If god embraces them, then how can they be faults?" "Love yourself." "You have to love yourself." "If we don't love ourselves, how can we love others?" "and when we know what we are, then we can find the truth out about others." "See what they are." "The truth about them." "And you know what the truth is, the truth about them." "About you." "About me." "Do you?" "The truth is we are all perfect, just as we are." "God only loves that which is perfect, and he loves you." "He loves you because you are perfect." "You are perfect just as you are."