"Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco presents..." "Stingray Sam is not a hero" "But he does do the things That folks don't do" "That need to be done" "He's got a bravery inside" "That won't let him run away Will not let him run" "This is the planet Mars." "It was once known as the resort and entertainment capital of the universe." "Over the years the appeal of Mars has worn thin." "The ideas that its entertainment industries were once based on are no longer valued among smart, young couples looking for a good time." "No, Mars has seen its day." "Now it has become a home for forgotten people with shattered dreams looking for that break that just isn't there anymore." "These are today's visitors." "Then there are those who occupy this planet." "The ones who capitalize on these, the misfortunate." "But don't judge them too harshly." "They came to Mars for the same reason as everyone else, only now they have nowhere else to go." "Welcome to Mars" "Welcome to life among the stars" "Welcome to hotels And restaurants and bars" "Where you'll never be homesick Anymore" "You'll live in space Where you'll develop certain tastes" "And certain views On things you've never faced" "Where you'll never be homesick Anymore" "You're in the dome You're in the perfect home" "Where sweet dreams Mean everything" "And memories can't hurt you" "Here's where you'll stay" "Where everything you ever knew Is turned into something new to you" "Where you'll never be homesick Anymore" "All right." "Thank you very much, and thanks for coming out tonight." "And now, it gives me a great deal of pleasure to introduce to you our dancers for this evening." "This is Heaven and Star from Liberty Chew Chewing tobacco." ""Liberate yourself with Liberty Chew tobacco and join the tobacco-chewing liberation."" "These ladies will be handing out free samples of tobacco later on." "So, stick around, make yourselves at home, there's a lot more entertainment to come, and if you have any problems, just let me or the bartender know, and we'll see what we can do about it." "Thank you very much." "You need this?" "How we doing, Barnaby?" "I'm not too sure, Stingray." "I think we might have a little problem." "Where at?" "That big fella sitting at the end of the bar." "He's been acting kinda weird." "Oh, my." "That's what I'm talking about." "I think you're gonna have to ask him to leave." "Hand me my asking-stick." "Whoa." "You got olive juice on my asking-stick." "Well, what do you think we ought to do about this?" "I think you should leave." " Not without you, Stingray Sam!" " Quasar Kid!" "Barnaby, this here's The Quasar Kid." "Get him some olives!" "Well, what brings you to these parts, Kid?" "Well, when I learned you became a lounge singer," "I said, "Well, okay, then."" "Well, all right, then." "What do you say?" " I say, okay." " Well, all right." "Well, all right, Kid." "It's good to see your face." "It's good to see you, Stingray." "Well, Kid, I know you really didn't come all this way for the olives." "What are you really doing here?" "Well, some folks caught up with me recently and asked me if I wouldn't mind paying off my debt to society." "As you might remember, we hadn't finished doing that at the time we left the prison." "What are you saying?" "I'm saying there's a little girl out there somewhere in a whole lot of trouble." "And if you and I can help her, we won't be wanted men." "You won't have to hide out here in this dump anymore." "This is not a dump, Kid." "This is a nightclub, and I am its lounge singer." "That may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to me and a lot of people who come here to see a lounge singer, and that's me." "I'm saying there's a little girl in trouble." "Besides from earning our freedom, it might be the only chance you and I will ever get to do something that's right." "And aren't you the one who said you always hoped to help somebody someday?" " Hell, no." " Ah, come on Stingray." "Just do it for me, then." "I'm happy here, Kid, and besides you, there's nobody else out there looking for me." "Well, if you won't do it for me, will you do it for her?" "Stingray Sam came from the planet Durango." "The economy of Durango was based on the manufacturing of rocket ships." "To meet the rising costs of manufacturing the planet's leaders shut down production and moved the industry to the far away planet of Mayberry, where the population was much more in need, and therefore labor much less expensive." "This created a desperate situation for the citizens of Durango, which resulted in a crime wave that dominated the entire planet." "This problem was not acknowledged by the Inter-Galactic Community until the population of Durango began drifting toward the wealthier planets." "Sorry to interrupt the party." "I'm Stingray Sam, this here's The Quasar Kid, and we just got here from Durango." "To restore peace throughout the galaxy the United Planets Organization created a new economic system for the planet of Durango." "The former rocket-ship factories were now to be used as penitentiaries." "One quarter of Durango's population was given jobs as prison guards, while the other three quarters were incarcerated." "The cost of Durango prison labor would be minimal." "With the rocket ship machinery still in place and with a prison population of skilled factory workers, it was the natural choice for the leaders of Durango to remove all manufacturing contracts from the now wealthy planet of Mayberry and reintroduce the rocket-ship industry" "to the prison population of Durango." "Unfortunately, Mayberry held its own in the rocket industry, and Durango soon went bankrupt." "The penitentiaries were shut down, and all of the convicts were released under the condition that they would be called upon at any given moment to resume paying their debt to society." " What happened?" " We got arrested." "By who?" "Well, technically it was me that arrested you, but I got arrested first, and I always kind of thought of us as a team." "Are you the one who hit me, Kid?" "Yeah." "What the...?" "Did you put this thing on me?" "I had to." "They said if I didn't put one on you, then mine would explode." " That's just part of the deal." " I guess I don't blame you, then." "What do we gotta do to get 'em off?" "It's just one job." "We got to rescue a little girl." "Once we do that, these things will fall right off, and we're done." " That's it, huh?" " Yeah, well, we got off easy." "They got everybody else picking up garbage." "I've seen that." "That kind of work never ends." "Yeah, well, when we're done with this job our debt to society will be paid in full." "You and I will be free men for the rest of our lives." "You couldn't have just told me that back at the bar?" "You had to hit me?" "I missed you, Stingray." "And so this was the beginning of Stingray Sam and The Quasar Kid's final adventure." "But what dangers will they face on the road to becoming free men?" "Find out on our next episode of Stingray Sam!" "Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco presents..." "Stingray Sam is not a hero" "But he does do the things That folks don't do" "That need to be done" "He's got a bravery inside" "That won't let him run away Will not let him run" "Children." "So young and irresponsible." "How quickly they mature and turn into incompetent adults." "Incompetent in management and administrative duties." "It was this form of incompetence that sent Stingray Sam and The Quasar Kid on a mission without any information." "The only detail they were to receive was to be administered at the Inter-galactic Hall Of Records And Trivia." "It is here where we now find our boys perched in a state of readiness." "34." "34." "34." "36." "36." "36." "No 36." "35." "Here you go, Ma'am." "I'm Stingray Sam, this here's The Quasar Kid, and we're from Durango." " You don't say." " Yes, Ma'am." "We're on an assignment, and we don't know what we're supposed to be doing." " What's your assignment?" " We're supposed to rescue a girl." " Who's the girl?" " We don't know." "We're from the work program." "Give me your wrists." "Just one box?" "That's all I have for you." "Could you tell me where I could find...?" "38." "If I leave this bag here, do you think somebody else could use it?" "Yes." "And they'll be so happy, and I'll tell them it came from you." "38." "No, I don't think it was stupid." "You had a plastic bag, and you didn't need it." "You thought somebody else could use it." "Well, either way, you know what that lady did when she just said that?" "What?" "She made our day." "That's what she did." "I think that lady is a genius." "Just that one thing she said made our whole day worthwhile." "Well, I'm glad something did." "It takes 20 of these darn little boxes to figure out anything, and I don't think it's gonna tell us much." "Well, let's have a look-see." "To a father in a middle-class home, no one is more important than "Daddy's little girl."" "Unfortunately, the extremely wealthy and the extremely poor fathers cannot share in this sentiment." "A female child born to a poor family may find herself in compromising situations in the name of survival." "The father of a dynasty would need a son to carry on the family name." "It was long believed that a child's gender was determined by its mother." "King Henry Vlll believed it." "He executed several of his wives because they were unable to bear him a son." "If Henry only knew what we know today perhaps he would have cut of his own head." "Still, gender-decisive pills were created for the woman to take until five generations ago when a pill was invented to give the father the choice." "The wealthy and poor alike began having sons exclusively." "As a result, the poor and the wealthy classes found themselves on the brink of extinction until cloning was introduced to the upper class as a mandatory measure to generate the next generation." "But health risks linked to cloning drained the economy through increased medical expenses." "In its last attempt for survival, strange new theories were openly developed, but time was running out, and things were looking bleak for the upper class until two scientists known only as Edward and Frederick developed a radical new procedure." "They had successfully blended their DNA and then placed the living embryo into the body of the scientist know only as Frederick." "Funding was immediately pulled from all research programs and awarded to Edward and Frederick." "When the child was born, he was given the name Fredward." "The entire upper-class population was impregnated with double male genetic combos, and thus a new generation was born!" "Frederick and Edward Had a baby named Fredward" "Frederick and Edward Loved their gentle son" "Frederick was the world's Only pregnant man" "Edward might not have been the one" "Frederick and Edward Had a son named Fredward" "Max and Clark Had a son named Mark" "Aldo and Rex Had a son named Alex" "Bob and Ringo" "Had a son named Bingo" "Zack and Deke" "Had a son named Zeke" "Bill and Jeff" "Had a son named Biff" "John and Mason" "Had a son named Jason" "Karl and Burt" "Had a son named Kurt" "Reed and Johnny" "Had a son named Ronny" "Chris and Al" "Had a son named Cal" "Clark and Biff" "Had a son named Cliff" "Walter and Bill" "Had a son named Will" "Bill and Kurt" "Had a son named Burt" "Burt and Robby" "Had a son named Bobby" "Fred and Bill" "Had a son named Phil" "Jack and Ronny" "Had a son named Johnny" "Rich and Andy" "Had a son named Randy" "Mick and Jack" "Had a son named Mac" "Hugh and Gordon" "Had a son named Hugo" "Matt and Rick" "Had a son named Mick" "Mel and Alvin" "Had a son named Melvin" "Jack and Bo" "Had a son named Joe" "Clark and Jasper" "Had a son named Casper" "Sam and Randy" "Had a son named Sandy" "George and Harold" "Had a son named Gerald" "Biff and Chuck" "Had a son named Buck" "Nate and Rick" "Had a son named Nick" "Nick and Ted" "Had a son named Ned" "Clark and Ray" "Had a son named Clay" "Bo and Larry" "Had a son named Barry" "Ray and Paco" "Had a son named Rocco" "Ben and Lee" "Had a son named Bentley" "Rocco and Dusty" "Had a son named Rusty" "Rusty and Alf" "Had a son named Ralph" "Tom and Ed" "Had a son named Ted" "John and Ted" "Had a son named Jed" "Ron and Cory" "Had a son named Rory" "Rory and Tex" "Had a son named Rex" "Burt and Morris Had a son named Boris" "And this baby, his daddy's gone And this baby, his daddy's gone" "And this baby, his daddy's gone And this baby, his daddy's gone" "And so the plot begins to thicken, but not by much." "A girl is in need of rescue, and the genetically designed figurehead of a very wealthy planet is somehow involved." "But how?" "Who?" "What?" "When?" "Where?" "And why?" "Find out the answers to these questions and more on our next episode of Stingray Sam!" "Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco presents..." "Stingray Sam is not a hero" "But he does do the things That folks don't do" "That need to be done" "He's got a bravery inside" "That won't let him run away Will not let him run" "In a distant solar system, located among a certain class of planets, were the planets of social classes, and among them was a planet of a certain class." "A planet that had changed its name to Fredward." "It is here where Stingray Sam and The Quasar Kid initiate their pursuit of a man who bears that same name." "Their search begins at the Pregnant Man's Science and Trivia Institute, where an important meeting of The Pregnant Man's Institute of Science and Trivia is about to take place." "They took my clipboard!" "They took my clipboard!" "The one I use!" "Somebody stop them!" "The triumphant efforts of this new brand of research could not have been possible without this generous grant from the Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco Corporation." ""Liberate yourself with Liberty Chew Chewing tobacco and join the tobacco-chewing liberation."" "Before we recess this afternoon, Dr. Adison and I will be handing out free samples of Liberty Chew." "And now, let's have a look at the chart." "I'm The Quasar Kid, and this here's Stingray Sam!" "You boys are in for a world of trouble if you don't give us what we came here to get!" ""Stingray" Sam?" "Are you from the Oceanology Department?" "Yes, I am." "Well, this is a surprise." "Ever since the oceans have died, I can't imagine where you could have found any funding without a gunman." "Unless, of course, you found a way to bring the oceans back to life, which I honestly doubt." "How are you planning to do it, young man?" "Excuse me?" "Well, I mean, how are you planning to bring the oceans back to life?" "One fish at a time, I guess." "Yeah, that's right." "Sam here's come halfway across two galaxies with a Stingray baby growing inside his very own belly!" " A Stingray?" " Stingray?" "Stingray..." "Stingray, Stingray, Stingray" "Stingray, Stingray, Stingray" "Well, I went to the doctor" "And he gave me a sonogram" "Not the kind of thing That you do to a man" "I said, "Doctor, What does that picture say?"" "He said, "Boy, You're gonna have a Stingray"" "Stingray, Stingray, Stingray" "Stingray, Stingray, Stingray" " Is it gonna be a boy?" " No, it's gonna be a Stingray" " Will it be a girl?" " No, it's gonna be a Stingray" "Will it be the Prince of Thieves Or Queen of The World?" "Will it be a son Or will it be a daughter?" "Will it be a Stingray Swimming in the water?" "Stingray, Stingray, Stingray" "Stingray, Stingray, Stingray" "My friend here ain't feeling quite right." "Maybe it's because he's got a baby Stingray in his stomach." "Yeah, that's probably what it is." "Anyway, I need to go sit down for a while, and I was wondering where you keep all your files and records and stuff like that." "We thought we'd go take a look-see." "Through the door at the end of the hall." "And what exactly is a "look-see"?" "Don't you worry about it." "This don't look so good." "Yeah, we got a lot of looking to do." "Well, if there's only one girl, then maybe we should look in the girl section, and we'll find her." "You're right." "It's the only pink one." "Well, let's give her a try." "The upper class had become the only class." "To make it possible for society to function, it became an unwritten law that physical labor would not be looked down upon, as long as you were famous at it." "Jerry was a famous carpenter, but fame was of no interest to Famous Jerry." "He was a loner, a rebel." "So unlike the norm was Famous Jerry the Carpenter that he protested his obligation to reproduce a male child by secretly taking gender-decisive drugs." "Jerry privately gave birth to a female child." "Her gender was assumed male and therefore never reported to the authorities." "Fredward had always been a stranger to effort." "He had achieved his wealth and fame through the act of being born." "His every need had forever been fulfilled, and though he grew up in seclusion, he was never alone." "He had always been surrounded by a group of wealthy young followers who valued his every word." "His ideas were never questioned." "As a result, Fredward was convinced that his thoughts were the product of divine inspiration." "Though he had never developed any skills and had no talents, he declared himself an artist, and to the amazement of his followers," "Fredward began what was to be his masterpiece." "He was going to redesign his own living quarters, and the only man famous enough to make this dream come true was Famous Jerry the Carpenter." "Famous Jerry was sequestered within the compound." "He was forced to listen to Fredward's high-art concepts." "None of Fredward's ideas were based in reality." "They could never be achieved." "After one week, Famous Jerry quit the job." "Fredward was devastated." "Jerry was to be arrested and sentenced to death." "Before Jerry had a chance to retrieve his daughter and flee the planet, their home was broken into and searched." "The girl was discovered and taken directly to the Fredward Compound." "Famous Jerry fled the planet alone." "Jerry reported the kidnapping to leaders of the Inter-Galactic Community." "Arrangements for her rescue were made." " Are you leaving us so soon?" " Yeah." "We gotta get going." " Where will you be going?" " To find Fredward." "Oh, no more cheese and tobacco for these boys." "They're off to see Fredward." "You'll never see Fredward, young man." "He's far too important." "Thank you for your hospitality." "Oh, and by the way, you said you had traveled halfway across two galaxies?" "There's only one galaxy." "Yeah, that sounds about right." "With an understanding of their mission and a sense of purpose behind their every step," "Stingray Sam and The Quasar Kid set forth to the Fredward Compound." "But what dangers await?" "Find out on our next episode of Stingray Sam!" "Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco presents..." "Stingray Sam is not a hero" "But he does do the things That folks don't do" "That need to be done" "He's got a bravery inside" "That won't let him run away Will not let him run" "Our story begins where it left off." "Here, among that certain class of planets where we find Stingray Sam and The Quasar Kid in pursuit of a man named Fredward." "Like every icon of every great economic power," "Fredward was well protected." "He lived in a grand fortress above the law where no man dare enter without an invitation." "It was because of this that no security system was maintained, making it possible for Stingray Sam and The Quasar Kid to gain entrance." "Hey!" "You're not supposed to be back here." "No one is supposed to see me before the performance." "What performance?" "You're here for the party, aren't you?" "What party?" "Yeah, we're here for the party." "Do you remember what happened back on Durango just before the prisons went bankrupt and they let us all go?" " You mean the Mascot program?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "I was in a solitary-confinement suit that looked like the Liberty Chew Grasshopper." "I couldn't move my arms." "Yeah." "Well, when you were gone, they gave me a new cellmate." "His name was Cubby." "Excuse me I'm new here in this prison" "I think that I was sitting there See, there's my piece of cornbread" "It was said that Cubby was not right for prison, or perhaps prison just wasn't right for Cubby." "Either way, his timing could not have been more perfect for the Durango prison facilities were on the brink of financial disaster." "It was during these, the darkest of hours, when an advertising firm approached the planet's CEO with a proposal." "It was to be known as "The Corporate Mascot Rehabilitation Program."" "In this program, prisoners were rented out as corporate mascots." "Mascot costumes were designed and manufactured within the prison facility." "The exteriors of these costumes were designed to attract and amuse happy conventioneers and their families while reminding them of the corporations they were representing." "The interiors of the costumes were designed to restrain the inmates in order to keep them from committing crimes or from endangering themselves and those around them." "When a prisoner became suicidal, his attempts would fail while appearing comical and charming to any onlookers." "Eventually hygiene became an issue." "The smell of an unwashed prisoner would penetrate the costume and give the corporation it represented a bad name." "A new approach was quickly put into effect." "Through the use of mass/matter compression, a prisoner could be reduced in size, infused into the body of a small robot, dressed accordingly, and placed on a shelf for public viewing." "No personal contact was ever made with the public." "Cubby was a master at mass/matter compression." "Without him, Durango would not have had a program." "Cubby requested that he be allowed to develop the device in the privacy of his cell." "His request was granted, and in a short while six prototypes were developed and delivered." "Two additional devices were secretly manufactured and hidden behind the wall of his cell." "These two devices were to be worn by Cubby and The Quasar Kid while escaping through the prison's tiny ventilation system." "On the morning of their planned escape," "Cubby infused himself within one of the tiny suits." "He hid behind the toilet and waited for The Quasar Kid to finish his kitchen duty." "Kid was distracted and unable to join Cubby as planned." "As Cubby patiently waited behind the toilet, a prison janitor hosed down their cell." "The water short-circuited Cubby's suit." "He was killed within seconds." "When Kid returned to their cell, he discovered the miniature device that contained the tiny remains of his friend." "Only then did he remember their escape plan." "Cubby was secretly buried the following morning in the prison community garden." "And you expect me to get into that thing?" " It's easy." "Just close your eyes." " No!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "How's it feel?" "It's a little tight." " I think my leg's asleep." " Can you move it?" " Yeah, I think so." " Well, just keep moving it." "You'll be all right." "Now, hang on to my pant leg." "Allow me to introduce our visitors." "I must ask you to excuse their somewhat lackadaisical manners, but I have conditioned them, or brainwashed them." "You will notice that I have told them that they may smoke." "I've allowed my people to have a little fun in the selection of bizarre tobacco substitutes." "Are you enjoying your cigarette, Ed?" "Yes, Fredward." "Oh, tastes good, like a cigarette should." "And now, comrades, may I introduce the famous..." "Can I help you?" "Party, it's a party Come on, party, get retarded" "Party, it's a party Come on, party, get retarded" "Party, it's a party Come on, party, get it started" "Party, it's a party Come on party, get retarded" "Party, get it started Party, it's a party, come on, party" "Get retarded" "Oh, man, you scared me!" "You're the Carpenter's daughter." "I'm here to take you back to your daddy." "I'm gonna need your help getting us out of here." "I think your legs look cool." "Oh." "Thank you very much." "They're not really mine." " Can I see them?" " Yeah, sure." "Now, we don't have very much time, so I need you to listen to me very carefully." "This is gonna be a little bit tricky, and a little bit dangerous, but I'm gonna get you out of here." "Now, what I need you to do is run." "Did you hear me?" "Run!" "Run!" "Okay!" " I ran really fast!" " Yeah, you did." " Can we go see my daddy now?" " As soon as The Kid gets back." "It shouldn't take him very long." "If I know The Kid, he won't stay in there any longer than he has to." "Party, it's a party It's a party, get it started" "Party, it's a party It's a party, get it started" "Party, it's a party It's a party, get it started" "Party, it's a party It's a party, get it started" "Party, it's a party It's a party, get it started" "Party, it's a party It's a party, get it started" "Party, it's a party It's a party, get it started" "Party, it's a party It's a party, get it started" "Stingray Sam and the girl waited onboard the ship, but what of The Quasar Kid?" "Had Fredward discovered their plans?" "Had The Quasar Kid been brainwashed for Fredward's amusement?" "Would the girl ever see her father, and will Stingray Sam remain a tiny, little robot indefinitely?" "Find out on our next episode of Stingray Sam!" "Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco presents..." "Stingray Sam is not a hero" "But he does do the things That folks don't do" "That need to be done" "He's got a bravery inside" "That won't let him run away Will not let him run" "It was a long night of angst, anxiety and apprehension for Stingray Sam and the Carpenter's daughter." "They waited for what felt like an eternity for the return of The Quasar Kid, and by this point, they could only fear the worst had transpired and were beginning to give up hope, when suddenly..." "Morning, Stingray." "Ma'am." " And where were you last night?" " How'd you get out of the suit?" "The girl let me out." "Where were you?" "I was keeping Fredward and the boys busy so you could get the girl and get on out of there." "We were out of there in two minutes." "How was I supposed to know that?" "I was gettin' ready to fly out of here." " We were gonna leave you a note." " You would never have done that." "Show him your note." "That's a mighty nice note." "Thank you." "Let's fly out of here before they figure out she's missing." "Stingray Sam, The Quasar Kid, and the Carpenter's daughter were able to escape the planet unnoticed, but back at the Fredward Compound, a flurry of activity was taking place." "The Artist, who had originally been hired to perform at Fredward's party, was discovered gagged and bound in his dressing room." "At the same time, the Carpenter's daughter was found to be missing." "But it was the absence of The Quasar Kid that pushed Fredward over the edge." "He had not felt such a loss since Famous Jerry the Carpenter had abandoned him." "Fredward's disciples tried to comfort Fredward by belittling The Quasar Kid." "They tried to discredit his participation in the evening's events." "They callously mocked his dancing." "Fredward became furious." "He scolded them in defense of The Quasar Kid and had them arrested for trespassing." "When the police had taken away the last of his guests," "Fredward did something that he had never done before." "He left the compound." "His anger gave him a bravery that he had never known." "In an abandoned rocket ship of a convicted guest" "Fredward escaped his planet unnoticed." " Hey, did you brush your teeth?" " Yeah." "Did you use that white toothbrush I gave you?" " Yeah." " All right." "Go to bed." " Can you play me a song on that?" " No." "Yes." "Go get into bed." "This here's a lullaby" "It's a song to go to sleep by" "Close your eyes while my friend And I here sing you a lullaby" "Listen to the words of the song" "They're are all about cats and dogs" "Cats and dogs and stars in the sky In a pretty little lullaby" "In a pretty little lullaby" "Close your eyes" "Shut them down tight" "Stars in the sky, shining up bright" "Everything will be all right" "Here comes the Sandman" "With a pocket full of sleep dirt" "He's not a bad man Not as bad as he seems" "And he'll get you dreaming Your baby dreams" "He'll get you dreaming your dreams" "This here's a lullaby song" "It's a melody for a little kid To go to sleep on" "I never sang a lullaby in my life" "And I'm making it up as I go on" "If you have a bad dream tonight You only gotta call my name" "I'll come running Just as fast as I can" "And I'm a whole lot tougher Than any of them" "In the morning when you wake up" "Just look around and you'll see me" "If you want to get up Just wake me up" "And I'll be as happy as I can be" "This here's a lullaby" "It's a song to go to sleep by" "Close your eyes while my friend And I here sing you a lullaby" "I'll sing you a lullaby" "I think she's asleep." "Look at this." "They came off." "I guess we did it." "We're free." "You're right." "Thanks for bringing me with ya, Kid!" "I couldn't have done it without you." "Well, I guess I'm gonna be gettin' out of here, now." " What?" "!" " I don't want to wake her." " I'll just get going." " Well, you can't leave her with me." "I can't take her with me." "My job was to rescue her." "Beyond that, she's on her own." "Besides, I was just trying to help you get your freedom." "You were trying to get your own freedom, and you hijacked me into helping you!" "I appreciate what you did." "All right." "I'll figure something out." " Where you headed?" " Mars." "I'm going to Mars!" "Different Mars." "I want to do that!" "I'll show you later." "You take care, Quasar Kid." "You do the same, Stingray Sam." "Shut your eyes, little girl." "Oh, dang, Stingray!" "What the hell did you do in here?" "You take care, Quasar Kid." "You take care." "So, what do you think of The Kid?" "He was a little bit nice and a little bit mean." "Wow, girl, I think you hit the nail right on the head with that one." "The Kid is a little bit nice and a little bit mean." "You're okay." "Tell you what, now I'm gonna show you that handshake, but it's a secret, so you can't tell anyone, all right?" "Put up your thumb." "Now stick out your pinkie." "Now hold your hand flat like that." "High five!" "To the side." "Down low." "Too slow!" "Too slow." "All right, let's try it again." "In ancient China, a saintly character was believed to have watched over "the vulnerable ones."" "The three groups considered for this classification were travelers, soldiers, and mothers with children." "Now, with his debt to society paid," "Stingray Sam began his new life as a free man under the weight of an unforeseen obligation that had placed him in all three of the ancient Chinese categories of vulnerability." "Watch over him now, O Saints of Ancient China!" "And you watch, too, on our next and final episode of Stingray Sam!" "Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco presents..." "Stingray Sam is not a hero" "But he does do the things That folks don't do" "That need to be done" "He's got a bravery inside" "That won't let him run away Will not let him run" "In our last episode, a small child was rescued and then left in the custody of Stingray Sam." "Given no other choice, Stingray has resigned himself to deliver the child to her long lost father." "Many days have come and gone since the union of this unlikely duo was forged." "Now, at the final stage of their journey," "Stingray's freedom draws nearer as a father-and-daughter reunion will soon be at hand." "Okay, girl, we got a long way to go today." "Why don't you go get that toothbrush I gave you, and we'll put it in your bag?" "Oh, oh, I just need to do this." "Don't you want to go see your daddy?" "I just need to do this song one more time." "Well, it's getting late." "I just need to do it once." "Okay." "Just one more time." "I'd like to do that, too." "Shummumumum mumum mumum I'm your peg-legged father" "Shummumumum mumum mumum You're my darling daughter" "You're my darling daughter" "I'm your peg-legged father" "What has become Of your cold-hearted mother?" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "I'm the man who raised you" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "Her absence never fazed you" "Her absence never fazed you" "I'm the man who raised you" "Your mother tried to kill us both" "But her bullet only grazed you" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "Her second bullet got me" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "Your wicked mother shot me" "Your wicked mother shot me" "Her second bullet got me" "A weaker man would have fallen To the ground, but not me" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "She got me in the leg" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "That's how I got the peg" "That's how I got the peg" "She shot me in the leg" "I grabbed her by the neck" "And pushed her down And made her beg" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "I heard your mother curse me" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "But the bleeding made me thirsty" "I heard your mother curse me" "But the bleeding made me thirsty" "That's why I let go Of your mother's neck" "And showed her mercy" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "She up and ran away" "Shummumumum mumum mumum" "A year ago today" "Her letter came today" "Her letter came today" "What did it say?" "Oh, what did it say?" "What did it say?" "What did the letter say?" "What did it say?" "What did it say?" "It said it's time for me to take you home." "Okay, let's go." "Hold it right there Matey!" "The little girl is coming with me." " Or what?" " Or you die." "She dies." "Everybody but me dies." "Basically, everyone on that side of my gun." " I'm taking her back to her father." " She doesn't have a father." "Her father ran away and left her with me." "That's not what really happened." "I don't care what really happened." "The girl stays with me." "She's mine." "Nobody runs away from Fredward!" "Nobody!" "Not the girl, not her father, and especially not that guy who danced at my party a week ago." "Where is he anyway?" "I thought he'd be around here somewhere." "I don't know." "So you haven't anything to bargain with, then, have you?" "So, send the girl over here and prepare to have your face blasted off." "Little girl, you better get on the other side of that gun and shut your eyes." "No, Stingray!" "I said, "Git!"" "Close your eyes, little girl." "I know I'm gonna close mine." "Stingray!" "Oh, no!" "What happened to me?" "What's that smell?" "!" "Hey, it stinks in here!" "Let me out of here!" "Get me out of this thing!" "You can't do this to me!" " I have protection!" " You're not protected here, pal." " I thought you were going to Mars!" " I thought this was Mars." "Different Mars, I guess." "You've been a naughty boy, Fredward." "It's time you start paying your debt to society." "By the powers vested in me by the leading members of the Inter-Galactic Community, it's my duty to inform you of your rights." "He can't hear me." "Well, Quasar Kid, first you hijack me into paying off my debt to society, and now you've captured Fredward." "If I didn't know any better," "I'd say you became a bounty hunter while I was away." "Well, we all can't be lounge singers." "That's the truth, Quasar Kid." "You take care of yourself." " I'm taking your ship, Stingray." " I know you are, Kid." "I know you are." "There's your daddy's house." "I guess that's where you're gonna be staying from now on." "It looks nice." "Stingray, will you stay with me and Daddy?" "Nah." "You two got a lot of catching up to do." " I gotta get back to work." " Why?" "Well, because I'm a lounge singer, and a lounge singer's gotta sing." "He's gotta be there every night to make sure folks get sung to." "I know that might not mean a lot to some people, but it means a lot to me and a lot of people who come to see a lounge singer, and that's me." "But I want to stay with you." " You do?" " Yeah." "Well, I'll tell you what." "I know your daddy misses you, but you and your daddy haven't seen each other for a long time and you can't always tell how things are gonna go between two folks." "So if things aren't working out, and you need someone to come and get you, you just give me a..." "Daddy!"