"(DANCE MUSIC)" "Yeah." "22." "(SHOUTS) 23." "Go on." "Yes." "(SHOUTS)" "Stevie, I know you're up there." "Oh!" "Bloody woman!" "I'll kill her." "I swear I'll bloody kill her!" "How dare you!" "Go home, Miranda, you're only making things worse." "You're trespassing!" "Go away, you stupid man!" "You're disturbing the guests." "If you touch her again I'm gonna give you such a hammering." "Get off my property now." "Both of you!" "Your property?" "Ha!" "Let's get you home." "One of these days, you're gonna push me too far." "Oh, yeah?" "You want some, do you?" "Hey!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Go on then, walk away!" "Madness." "Checking in for a detox and you're inhaling cheeseburgers." "Let's talk about the four bottles of red win you necked last night." "It was three actually." "MAN:" "Go on, go on!" "Argh!" "Oh, my god." "Are you...are you all right, Mrs Pottinger?" "I thought you were gonna do something about those two." "Go home." "Take your filthy money and go home." "Mrs Pottinger, don't you worry." "I am." "Midsomer Murders" " Season 13, Episode 8 "Fit for Murder"" "(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) I'm upstairs!" "How's it going?" "Not bad." "What have you been up to?" "Nothing much." "What is it, Carter?" "Come here, look." "Nightmare woman." "I reckon nightmare woman is in for a bit of a surprise." "What have you done?" "(MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES)" "(BAAING)" ""Your tranquillity is ours"" "What does that mean?" "We're about to have a de-stressing weekend." "And it isn't going to work if you keep complaining." "I don't need de-stressing." "Watch out!" "Get back in!" "(HORN) Whoa!" "Would you watch where you're going?" "Likewise!" "Go away!" "There's nothing for you here!" "They'll steal your money and ruin your health." "Go away before it's too late." "What was that about?" "I do not know." "But I'm feeling calmer already." "You'll be fine, Mrs Pottinger." "Have they..." "Have they gone yet?" "It's all right, Mrs Pottinger." "There aren't any sheep here." "Since when were you allergic to sheep anyway?" "Are you still here?" "Charming." "Can I have a little something to calm my nerves?" "I recommend a gentle massage followed by a nap." "If she's gonna live," "I'm off to play golf." "Pick you up Monday, dearest." "Just go, will you?" "We are...terribly sorry," "Mrs Pottinger." "It won't happen again." "It had better not." "Oh!" "My heart... it's going like a train." "That is down to Carter Smith and your chum Miranda." "I'll talk to her, Luke." "And what good will that do?" "New arrivals." "Last chance, Phoebe." "Sort her out." "Or I will." "Good afternoon." "MAN:" "Boss." "Boss." "Can I have a word, boss?" "Why are you wearing those?" "Walked into a door." "Perfect." "It's something I heard in the pub." "What?" "This is pure gold, boss." "Straight from the horse's mouth." "Well, go on, then." "Amaze me." "It's about Miranda." "What about..." "Miranda?" "We had a bit of a problem with some escaped sheep." "Yes, we noticed." "One of the delights of country life." "The room is lovely." "Good, good." "Once you've settled in, you'll see Dr Danby." "He'll help you plan your treatment schedule." "Any problems, anything you need, just ask." "Thank you." "We're so looking forward to it." "Good, good." "Pressure point massage with Himalayan herbs." "Sounds good." "What's wrong with your arm?" "Massages?" "Himalayan herbs?" "Not my thing really, Joyce." "I know you're worried about the police medical." "I am not worried about my police medical." "Yes, you are." "I can tell." "I thought coming here would help." "Well, it doesn't." "Here's the deal." "We'll stay here tonight, have one treatment tomorrow, and if you still don't like it, then we can go home." "Deal?" "Deal." "What do you want to do on your birthday?" "My birthday?" "It's ages away." "It's the week after next." "I don't want to do anything on my birthday." "Tom, what is it?" "Something's bugging you." "Nothing is bugging me, Joyce." "I feel...fine." "Never better." "(DOORBELL)" "Sheep!" "There's only one way they could have got in there." "Ah, speak of the devil." "Hello, Phoebe, are you all right?" "No, not all right." "Very much not all right, thanks to you." "Me?" "The sheep, Carter." "What sheep?" "The sheep in the garden of contemplation." "We used to call it the kitchen garden." "We used to grow vegetables there, remember?" "It's been lovely chatting to you." "But I must leave you." "Going home to the wife and kids?" "Yeah, as it happens." "Toodle pip." "Never mind sheep, what about this?" "A letter from some lawyer telling me" "I have no right of access to my own house." "That was Luke's doing, not mine." "Don't pass the buck." "What do you expect when you're intent on sabotaging everything?" "Don't make it sound as if you're embarking on some noble enterprise." "It was paradise here until you mucked it up." "You and what's his name?" "His name's Luke." "Trying to force me out of my own home." "Nobody's forcing you out of your home." "Your husband is!" "I just want some peace so that I can write." "Oh, the famous novel." "30 years and still not finished." "Why?" "because it doesn't exist." "It's a fantasy." "You're my oldest friend, Phoebe." "So listen to me, then." "You're right." "Luke does want you out of here." "And so far I've managed to rein him in." "But if you don't stop interfering and the childish pranks..." "Woe." "Keep Carter Smith off the premises." "He frightened Kitty Pottinger half to death with those sheep." "We don't want her dropping dead, do we?" "Not till Luke's got hold of her money anyway." "So... you've a police medical coming up?" "Yes." "Next week." "Word is they're looking to shed a few senior officers." "Early retirement and so on." "You wouldn't consider..." "Who, me?" "No, no." "I'm in perfect health." "I haven't seen my GP for years." "Glad to hear it." "Though your blood pressure is a little high." "Is it?" "Well, just a tad." "Nothing to get unduly concerned about." "But if they were looking for a reason to retire you..." "You could take medication to bring it down but they're bound to ask you..." "If you're no any medication?" "Exactly." "I'd see your GP about it in the next few weeks." "In the meantime, I'm putting you on a meat-free, low-salt diet and no alcohol, of course." "At all?" "Get yourself a massage." "Eat, sleep, relax." "You'll probably sail through the medical." "Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr Barnaby?" "Yeah." "I keep getting these twinges in my arms." "And in my legs." "They seem to...move around." "Twinges?" "Yeah." "LUKE:" "If there's anything you need don't hesitate to ask." "Ah, Ms Fox, you look absolutely delightful." "Hey." "Joyce... what is this?" "It's tofu casserole." "Bags of protein." "Absolutely no cholesterol." "New arrivals, right?" "Hiya, I'm Kenny." "Got you on the tofu, I see." "Word to the wise." "Get thee down The Cricketers, my son." "Pub in the village." "Real ale on tap." "Best steak and chips this side of Calais." "That, Kenny, sounds very good." "I'm in trouble." "Are you?" "I should have been playing golf but my chum has put his back out." "Boss thought she'd got rid of me for the weekend." "What have you been doing?" "I've been talking to them." "You're supposed to talk to me." "About my birthday..." "Yes?" "There's something I want to tell you." "Don't spill..." "You're such a clumsy oaf." "Unbelievable." "LUKE:" "It's fine." "I'll sort it out." "It's absolutely fine." "I can't take you anywhere." "Oh, Kenny!" "Just..." "Just get out of my sight." "Night night." "(MOUTHS)" "Tranquillity." "How dare you walk out on me!" "Where did that come from, Kenny?" "I assumed you brought it." "Oh, you are such a liar!" "Have a drink for crying out loud." "Well, I suppose I could start my detox tomorrow." "That's the spirit." "Salud y pesetas, my darling." "(KNOCKING)" "Hide the bottle, quick!" "Hide it." "(BELCHES) Sorry." "Oh, hello." "(CAR STARTS)" "You're going to be late for your treatment." "I'm going in the floatation chamber." "I've always wanted to try one of those." "And you're having the hot volcanic stone massage." "Oh, god." "Remember our deal." "No going home till you've tried it." "The water is only ten inches deep and it's salinated, so you'll have no trouble floating." "This is to support your head." "We usually suggest an hour to get maximum benefit." "And we like to keep the lighting very low." "I could turn it up a little if you like." "No, dark is possible for me." "No distractions." "Thank you." "(SCREAMS)" "(SCREAMS)" "First I apply a thin layer of scented oil to your back." "Then I'll arrange the heated stones in line with your chakras" "My what?" "Your chakras." "Your energy centres." "Look..." "I'm sorry, what's your name again?" "Cloud." "Cloud." "There's nothing personal in this but I think I'll give the hot stones a miss this time round." "Please don't go." "If you do, I'll have to mark this session as incomplete." "Is that a problem?" "Well, it means I won't get paid." "You could just, you know, sit and chill." "(NEW AGE MUSIC IN BACKGROUND)" "Got any Mozart?" "I've got whale song." "No, thank you." "I could read your aura." "Sorry, my what?" "I can read auras." "Not everybody's, just some." "Yours is very confused." "It's probably because your chakras are unbalanced." "The crown chakra is the centre of spiritual energy." "Yours is totally blocked." "Really?" "You've got a birthday coming up." "Well, hasn't everybody?" "This is really soon, like in a week." "This birthday is really stressing you out." "I am not stressed." "It's something to do with your father." "What?" "Mr Barnaby." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Something terrible has happened." "Are you gonna be all right?" "Yes." "Are you all right?" "For a moment there, I thought something had happened to you." "Are you all right, Mrs Barnaby?" "I'm fine." "And now I'm going to go and have a long, hot bath." "The deceased's name is Kitty Pottinger." "Staying here with her husband Kenneth." "He's nowhere to be found and their car's gone." "She'd been in the water six or seven hours." "Water's 10 inches deep, heavily salinated." "Still deep enough to drown." "We're saying it's suspicious?" "The question is, was she dead before immersion?" "There's no obvious signs of struggle." "I'll know more when I've opened her up, Tom." "Tom." "Sir." "Ah..." "I suppose I'd better get changed." "No hurry." "Strictly speaking, as you're off-duty," "I'm the senior investigating officer, aren't I?" "Yeah, I suppose you are." "I'm not serious, sir." "No, but it is serious, Jones." "Very serious and a big responsibility." "(SIREN)" "Empty bottle of vodka." "Mobile." "There's a text on the mobile." ""I can't take it any more." "You're on your own now, bitch." "Kenneth."" "Sent at 2:46am." "Nice." "Lots of women's clothes." "No men's." "Only one case." "Going to look in the bathroom?" "There's no sign of a bloke in here." "Uh-oh." "Ten milligrams Temazepam." "Empty." "Kitty Pottinger's name on the label." "So what's next?" "Well, you're the SIO." "Your call." "Right, well, I'll talk to the owners." "See if they lock that floatation place up at night." "You could talk to the resident doc, see if he prescribed these." "Yes, sir." "Good." "Good." "You should have gone for that one." "Take ten minutes." "Practise that serve, yeah." "I really can't discuss this, you know." "Oh, yes, you can, Dr Danby." "I'm here as a policeman now, not as a guest." "Well, the Pottingers were both fond of a drink." "Kenny in particular." "They used to come here to detox." "But Kenny would crack after a day or two and go down to the local pub." "We found an empty bottle of Temazepam with Kitty Pottinger's name on it." "Not prescribed by me, I might add." "No, no, you must speak to her GP about that." "Kenny was the serious drinker." "Kitty's tastes were more... pharmaceutical." "Painkillers, sleeping pills and so on." "I did try and talk to her about it on more than one occasion." "Oh, well done, Mrs Fox." "That really was first rate." "They're very well off, you know." "Made his money in property I believe." "In fact, there was talk of Kitty investing in this place." "Dr Danby, I think I've tweaked my hamstring again." "Oh, well." "Duty calls." "Mrs Fox." "Joyce!" "Mmm." "Joyce." "Are you all right?" "Yes, I'm fine." "Because if you're not, we can always pack up and go home." "Nice try, Tom." "But I'm undeterred." "I'm gonna have the marine mud wrap next." "Well, if you're sure." "I'm sure." "Do you want to hear the gossip?" "According to Florence, the girl who works in the floatation room, the Archbolds are broke." "This place is within days of closing." "Kenny and Kitty Pottinger." "Witnesses saw them have a set-to in the dining room last night." "Yes, me included." "And I heard a car leaving in the middle of the night." "That presumably was Kenneth Pottinger." "2:32am." "If you'd care to write that down." "Yeah, that was ten minutes before he dumped her by text." "They are famous for their fights apparently." "Particularly after a few drinks." "So Kenneth Pottinger gets back from the pub drunk." "They argue over dinner." "Go back to their room." "Hit the vodka." "Fight gets worse." "He storms off." "She finishes off her pills." "And heads off to the floatation room." "It was her favourite thing apparently." "Oh, that's Luke Archbold." "I haven't spoken to him yet." "Can you have a word with him, sir?" "I'm still getting everyone's movements from last night." "Of course." "If I were SIO, Joe," "I'd be looking for Kenneth Pottinger." "I'm on it, sir." "(CHATTER)" "Well, come on!" "I want this cleaned up by lunchtime." "Mr Archbold." "Tom." "How do a flock of sheep get in here by accident?" "Well, they don't." "They were put here." "It's sabotage." "Can I talk to you about the Pottingers, please?" "The floatation centre was locked at 8:00pm sharp." "Guests are warned about using facilities unsupervised." "So if you're thinking of throwing the old health and safety book at me..." "Health and safety is not my concern." "How and why Kitty Pottinger died is." "What?" "You're not saying she was murdered?" "Please, for God's sake, please don't go spreading that around." "That's the last thing we need." "Any idea where Kenny might have gone?" "With his golfing buddies probably." "That's where he usually goes." "He's walked out on her before, has he?" "God, yeah." "But he's normally back the next day with his tail between his legs." "See, Kenny can't cross the road without Kitty holding his hand." "That's all we need." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Oi!" "Hang on!" "Look!" "I've told you before." "You are not allowed on the property." "He's on my property." "Actually he's not, as I believe my solicitor has informed you." "You have no right of way here." "So how am I supposed to get in and out of my own house?" "Not my problem." "And you..." "You should be aware that this man... is a police officer." "And I am going to make an official complaint to him regarding your persistent trespassing." "Not to mention the sheep infestation." "It's a long word, Lukey-boy." "But I will be able to prove it was down to you." "How are you gonna do that?" "Check the sheep for my fingerprints?" "Why not?" "They're on everything else around here." "Aren't they, Miranda?" "Hey!" "Get off!" "Get off me!" "Carter!" "Get off!" "You're my witness, Barnaby." "He assaulted me." "I insist you arrest him immediately!" "Walk away." "Assault and battery." "I'm gonna make a complaint." "The clock's ticking." "You're finished here." "Luke Archbold has found some loophole in the deeds whereby I can't use the drive of my own house." "So that's the reason for the bad feeling between you?" "Tip of the iceberg, my friend." "Phoebe inherited the manor 30 years ago." "It was the family home." "She loved the place but she was broke and couldn't afford to live here." "I had money in those days." "So I bought the Red House which meant she could stay on." "We never thought about rights of way." "We were friends." "Why would we?" ""Were?"" "Everything changed when she met Luke Archbold." "It was his idea to turn this place into a circus." "And what is your role in all this, Mr...?" "I mow the lawn." "Help with the shopping." "Mainly I read." "Carter works for me." "He used to work for Phoebe, too." "Luke put an end to that." "You like asking questions, don't you?" "Well, sir, you may not have heard, but a guest died at the manor last night." "Who?" "Kitty Pottinger." "How awful." "No wonder Lukey-boy is in a bad mood." "Another gravy train missed." "That's enough, Carter." "What happened?" "We don't know yet." "So, did either of you see or hear anything last night?" "Not me." "I live in the village." "No, I was working." "And I'm oblivious to everything." "What sort of work would that be, Ms Bedford?" "I'm a writer." "Ms Bedford is writing a novel." "It's her life's work." "30 years in fact." "30 years?" "It must be a long novel." "That level of dedication is a rare and beautiful thing these days." "Well, it is to me." "What do I know?" "I mow the lawn." "I think there's a lot more to you than that, sir." "Including your temper which if I may say so you should curb." "I won't even ask about the..." ""sheep infestation"." "Jones:" "I just need to check where everyone was at various points of the evening." "So, let's start at 8:00pm." "Hang on." "Sir!" "Sir!" "Cloud." "I'm sorry to...disturb you." "Give me a minute?" "I was just thinking about Kitty Pottinger." "So sad." "She was such a lovely lady." "Was she a client of yours?" "Oh, yes." "I read her aura the first time she came here." "I can see her so clearly." "Cloud, when you were reading my aura, you said something about my father." "I can't talk about that now." "There's too much negative energy flying around." "Tomorrow, OK?" "MAN:" "Ah, it's still locked." "Hello?" "Hello!" "It's been closed all day." "Joyce?" "Joyce, it's about my birthday." "I've been trying to tell you something, but it's so difficult finding a quiet moment in a place like this." "I'm sorry." "No complaints, I'm sorry." "Joyce, this is... ..all about my father." "It may sound strange but bear with me, please." "You're not supposed to be in here, sir." "Hello, Tom." "Are you disturbing Mrs Fox?" "Oh, I'm so terribly sorry." "I can book you a session if you want." "No." "No." "I'm so sorry." "I am sorry." "Good morning to you, sir." "Good morning to you." "What will it be?" "What do you recommend?" "You have the look, sir, of an escapee from the Manor Spa." "That's exactly what I am." "Then I advise a pint of Old Curmudgeon, 5.1 ABV." "And it'll bring down a soya bean at 200 yards." "That sounds perfect." "And if you're peckish we do a retox menu." "Oh, thank you." "Well..." "Don't mind me." "My day off." "Oh, why not?" "You only live once." "Good man." "(DOORBELL)" "What do you want?" "Let me in, for God's sake." "If Luke sees me here, he'll kill me." "Are you all right?" "I'm worried, Miranda, worried about the situation." "You're worried?" "That's good." "All right, I'm frightened." "I'm frightened that Carter is going to do something." "Like what?" "Come on, Carter's got a temper." "He's violent for God's sake." "He attacked Luke earlier today." "No, Luke attacked Carter." "And Carter beat up Julian outside The Cricketers." "They were drunk." "It was handbags at 20 paces." "Carter threatened to kill Luke." "Nonsense." "I was there." "I heard him." "Carter's clever." "He only lets you see one side of him." "You don't know what he's really like." "Funny." "I could say exactly the same thing about Luke." "I wish Magnus was still alive." "So do I, Phoebs." "You haven't called me that in ages." "Haven't I?" "Maybe we could..." "Maybe we could what?" "No, it doesn't matter." "I'm just being silly." "I think I'd better go." "Now, Magnus, Phoebe's first husband, he was a nice fella, he was." "This was before your time, Julian." "Before they turned the manor into a spa." "Magnus..." "Would you do another, sir?" "Magnus worked in the city." "Worked too hard, I reckon, cos he dropped dead what... five years ago." "Not long after that, Luke Archbold came on the scene." "Caught Phoebe on the rebound." "Caught her money on the rebound you mean." "Maybe." "Good afternoon, Carter." "The usual?" "Please, Clarky." "(SNIFFS) Funny smell in here all of a sudden." "How's they eye, Julian?" "Now, then, you two, any more aggravation and I'm barring both of you." "I'm going outside." "Bring my pint out, would you?" "Righto." "I'm off anyway." "Thanks, Julian." "Very nice." "They had a bit of a set-to in the car park the other night." "He's a good bloke, Carter, but, oh, he's got a temper on him." "Lovely day." "Shh." "You're not supposed to talk here." "Sorry." "Can I smell beer?" "What, in this lovely place?" "Surely not." "You've been to that pub." "I have been making enquiries." "And had lunch." "You've had steak and chips." "Sorry." "What are you doing?" "Meditating." "Try it." "Close your eyes." "Concentrate on your breathing." "And try to empty your mind." "Shh!" "26." "27." "28." "29." "Argh!" "(GROANS)" "(PHONE RINGS)" "Barnaby." "On my way." "What is it?" "Something terrible has happened." "Again." "Oh, God!" "When I woke up this morning and he still wasn't there..." "Is there anything we can do?" "Oh, no, thank you." "Florence is looking after me." "We can talk later." "I'll be back in one sec." "Wait." "It's probably nothing important, but..." "Go on, go on." "Mrs Archbold told me that she..." "She was worried that Carter Smith was going to... to do something to Mr Archbold." "She went to see Mrs Bedford yesterday to talk about it." "I dunno what happened but she was really upset afterwards." "I just thought I ought to tell you." "Cos she probably won't." "That's good." "You should tell me." "Thank you." "I've contacted the manufacturers and they're sending someone down." "So we can see whether it's been tampered with or not." "I've got to talk to Mr Universe." "He runs the gym." "Do you want to come?" "They're gonna blame me, aren't they?" "Why, Julian?" "Because I'm supposed to look after the equipment." "I told Mr A, you should get a proper person to look after it now Carter is not working here." "Carter Smith?" "Yeah, he used to do the maintenance." "He's good with stuff like that." "I'm not a technology person." "I'm a people person." "That's what a trainer needs, people skills." "They'll close this place down now, won't they?" "Did Ms Archbold say anything about closing it down?" "No, Julian." "No, she didn't." "If they do, I'll have to go back to Nuneaton." "Julian, excuse me." "Ooh." "Nice." "Did Carter Smith give you that?" "Might have done." "What was the fight about?" "We were arguing about loony Miranda." "What about loony Miranda?" "About her and her famous book." "I made a joke, that's all." "Well, Julian, we're gonna have to talk to you again." "Don't worry." "I'm not going back to Nuneaton." "Not until I have to." "Didn't you say Carter had a go at Luke Archbold yesterday?" "Yes." "He flies off the handle all too easily and he threatened Luke before." "There's the dispute over the right of way." "We've seen people murdered over one of those." "And Carter knows his way around the equipment in the gym." "I think there's more to this than a dispute over a right of way." "Like what?" "I'm interested in the fight over Miranda Bedford's book." "What's that got to do with anything?" "Any sign of Kenny Pottinger yet?" "No." "He goes off on his benders." "Comes back a couple of days later with his tail between his legs." "Have you sorted out everyone's movements for that night?" "Er...not quite." "Why?" "Well, it's difficult." "Because?" "Because..." "Because we're gonna need exactly the same thing for last night, aren't we?" "Yes." "Yes." ""You're the SIO, Jones."" "Right." "What's the matter with Mrs Fox?" "She's upset about Luke Archbold obviously." "Why obviously?" "Because she's obviously got a bit of a thing about him." "I thought policemen were supposed to be observant." "Well, I've got other things on my mind, Joyce." "I guess our stay is over." "Oh, yes." "Sorry, Joyce." "No, I'm the one that's sorry." "I bring you away for a de-stressing weekend, and people start dropping like flies." "I'll go and pack." "Ooh, Tom." "Mrs Fox said you were talking to her about your father." "You know, when you thought she was me." "What was that about?" "Oh, it was nothing." "Nothing much." "Look, I'll tell you about it later." "I'm not gonna put on a show of mock grief cos I couldn't stand the man." "I'm sorry for Phoebe though." "Where's Carter?" "No idea." "I'm not his keeper." "Despite what everybody says my relationship with Carter Smith is strictly platonic." "That means we're just good friends." "Yes, I know what it means." "We talk about books." "Your book?" "Of course." "Oh, happy times, by the look of things." "Yes, they were." "Do you talk to Phoebe about your book?" "I used to, yes." "Until Luke came on the scene." "Then everything changed." "Ah, yes." "Phoebe married Luke Archbold and you took up with Carter Smith." "I did not "take up" with him." "I employed him." "Anyway, the two events are completely unrelated." "Are they really?" "What exactly is it that you want?" "Phoebe Archbold came to see you yesterday afternoon, didn't she?" "Yes." "So?" "Did she talk about Carter threatening Luke?" "That's all such nonsense." "Is it?" "I heard Carter Smith yesterday say to Luke," ""Your days are numbered."" "He meant here." "At the manor." "They're broke." "Didn't you know?" "The spa is a failure." "That's a cause for celebration, isn't it?" "Now you can get on with your book without any interruption." "My God." "You don't think that Carter and I had anything to do with Luke's death, do you?" "There are no post or ante-mortal injuries." "There's foam in the airways, lungs were overinflated and full of liquid." "All of which indicates death by drowning." "The lab report shows she'd ingested a considerable amount of alcohol and benzodiazepine." "What are you saying, George?" "I'm saying, Tom," "I cannot at this point tell you whether her death was accidental or not." "What about him?" "Crush asphyxia due to chest compression by the look of it." "I can't be absolutely certain till I'm finished." "And even then, with injuries like this, it's hard to be definitive." "That's very useful." "Thank you, George." "Don't mention it!" "Sir, report on the empty vodka bottle." "Tell me." "No prints." "Not even a smudge." "It's been thoroughly cleaned." "Inside as well." "Inside?" "Same with the glasses." "Want to know what I think?" "Enlighten us, Benjamin." "It was rinsed out so we wouldn't find traces of Temazepam." "Kitty Pottinger was drinking vodka spiked with her own medication." "Which makes Kenny Pottinger prime suspect." "He had the means, the opportunity and the motive." "Well, sir?" "Cheer up, Tom." "Looks like you might have a murder after all." "Are you off, Mrs Barnaby?" "Oh, yes." "Tom wants me out of here before I become a suspect." "I don't know, maybe it's me, but...he doesn't seem himself." "Well, I think he is worried about the police medical." "Not that he'd ever admit it." "Then, of course, there's this place." "Yeah." "It's a tricky case." "Lots of unanswered questions." "I don't mean the body count." "I mean all this New Age stuff." "Oh." "I can't be doing with it." "Yeah." "(ENGINE STARTS)" "What are you doing?" "If you want to see something clearly, you should look in the opposite direction." "It's a Zen thing." "Ah." "Of course it is." "Ssh!" "There are dark spots on your aura." "You're very troubled." "It's do with your father." "You've got a birthday coming up." "You'll be the same age as your father...when he died." "Yes, this is it." "Your father died on his birthday, and you're afraid you'll die on yours." "How did you know that?" "There's water." "What?" "No, it's gone." "Look, wait." "What did you say about water?" "You'll have to go." "We're supposed to be packing." "Mrs Archbold is closing the spa." "Are you going to give me some money?" "(CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)" "(DISTORTED VOICES)" "Sir." "(DISTORTED) Sir." "Sir?" "What is it, Jones?" "Enlighten me." "It's a compression plate." "And it's missing from the training machine." "It's vital, apparently." "Are you all right?" "You look a bit peaky." "I'm absolutely fine." "Anything else?" "Yes." "The receptionist tells me there's a set of keys missing." "Mm." "Keys to where?" "The whole place, everything." "Including the gym." "How about we turn over Carter Smith's place and see what we find?" "Miranda Bedford's too." "Yeah, right." "Right!" "I'll apply for the search warrants, then." "Yeah, obviously." "Right." "Er...no." "Jones." "Erm..." "Kenny Pottinger's car - What about it?" "Er..." "look for it round here." "Round here?" "!" "Yes, say a two-mile radius." "I heard a car, but Kenny Pottinger wasn't necessarily driving it." "I think someone wants us to believe that he fled the scene." "Then, there's the text message signed 'Kenneth'." "Everyone calls him 'Kenny'." "Yeah." "Whoever drove the car sent the text message." "You're thinking it was someone from here." "I'm thinking all kinds of things." "(GATE CREAKS OPEN)" "Oh, I'm sorry." "No...no, it's all right." "Come in." "How are you?" "Oh, well..." "I feel like I'm in a bit of a dream, I suppose." "A very bad dream." "And on top of it all, we've had to tell the staff that we're closing, that they don't have their jobs any more." "And...they've all been so wonderful." "This used to be the kitchen garden." "Miranda and I spent a lot of time in here." "My first husband Magnus worked away on business a lot." "I brought up the children." "Miranda wrote or talked about writing." "And we worked in here together." "It was the happiest time of my life." "(CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)" "Ah!" "Hello, Cully." "What a lovely surprise." "He said without much conviction." "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Oh." "Jones, what can I do for you?" "Just a couple of things" "I wanted to check with you." "Excuse us, ladies." "Oh, we'll get the search warrants tomorrow." "Yes." "And?" "Well, the night Kitty Pottinger died... not everyone's account tallies." "Like Julian, the gym guy." "He was seen hanging around the Red House at 10:00pm." "But he says he was with Luke Archbold." "Erm...the Natasha Fox woman says she was in her room, but a member of staff brought a tea and said " "Go and double check." "Well, I can't double check with Luke Archbold because he's brown bread." "Jones, I can't do everything for you, can I?" "Any sign of Kenny Pottinger?" "No, not as yet." "Or his car?" "Working on it, sir." "We were just planning your surprise birthday party, Dad." "You were what?" "Joke." "Have a glass of wine." "Ooh, yes, please." "How's it going, Tom?" "How's it going?" "(LAUGHS)" "It's going very well indeed, excellent, couldn't be better (!" ")" "Cheers, love." "(CREAKING)" "It's the police." "(DOORBELL) Am I ever going to get any peace?" "Mob-handed as well." "It's pathetic." "Don't lose it, Carter." "(DOORBELL)" "Detective Sergeant Jones, Causton CID." "I have a warrant to search the premises." "What exactly are you hoping to find?" "This is a murder inquiry, Ms Bedford." "I suppose I have no choice in the matter." "No, you don't." "I'd love to stay and watch the fun, Barnaby, but you know how it is - things to do, people to see." "Mr Smith." "Carter, don't!" "Mr Smith, I need a look inside your vehicle before you go." "Please!" "I said I need to look!" "Ms Bedford, shall we?" "Key, please." "Oh, so the book really does exist?" "Of course." "Beautiful handwriting." "Hilary - is she the heroine?" "She's a protagonist, yes." "And what happens to her?" "As a matter of fact, she goes to prison...for murder." "But she's innocent, of course." "Of course." "Oh-oh." "Oh!" "Oh, yes." "Yeah?" "Sir." "Compression plate identical to the one missing from the machine that killed Luke Archbold." "Right, so I sabotaged the equipment, then hid the incriminating evidence in my truck." "Criminal mastermind, that's me (!" ") Carter." "Sir." "What?" "Ah-ha!" "A large bunch of keys." "(READS) 'Tanning studio.'" "'Fitness suite.'" "Looks like these belong to the manor." "Do you recognise those keys?" "No, of course I don't." "I do." "They were mine." "I er..." "I handed them back to Luke when he sacked me." "Unfortunately, he won't be able to confirm that, will he?" "A crude attempt to incriminate us, obviously." "Well, we'll discuss it at the station, shall we?" "Carter Smith, Miranda Bedford, I'm arresting you both on suspicion " "Wait." "Mr Smith, that fight you had with Julian outside the pub..." "What about it?" "That fight was all about Miranda's book, wasn't it?" "Well, something like that, yeah." "Julian claimed that that book did not exist." "Am I right?" "Sir." "Hang on, hang on." "Mr Smith?" "My memory's er...a bit hazy." "I'd had a few drinks, hadn't I?" "And he would never ever discuss my work with anyone." "Would you, Carter?" "Mr Smith, if you do not cooperate with us," "I'll have you in and out of Causton nick on so many charges your head will spin." "Assaulting a police officer, trespass." "And, yes, sir, first-degree murder." "All right, all right." "Yes." "Yes, I told Julian that I'd read the book." "And?" "And I told him it was almost finished." "And I told him where Miranda kept the manuscript." "Oh, Carter." "I'm so sorry, but he got to me, didn't he?" "The great lump can't even spell his own name." "What right has he got to have a go at you?" "We're finished here." "Thank you." "Please, I'm so..." "I'm so sorry." "They've got to be in the frame." "Kitty and Luke are dead." "They got what they want." "The spa's finished." "Phoebe won't push this right-of-way business " "And they leave vital evidence lying around for us to pick up." "How very thoughtful (!" ") Murderers panic." "They do stupid things in the heat of the moment." "How many times have we seen that?" "Jones, Kitty Pottinger," "Luke Archbold's murders were premeditated and carefully planned." "Heat of the moment didn't come into it." "(MOBILE RINGS) That stuff about Mrs Bedford's book." "Jones!" "Right." "Thank you." "Well, you were right about one thing." "Kenny Pottinger's car." "They've found it in a wood a couple of miles from here." "It's unlocked." "They key's in the ignition." "And a mobile." "Open the boot." "Oh, golf." "Oh, of course." "What?" "Kenny was supposed to be playing golf over the weekend." "It fell through at the last moment." "So whoever spiked the vodka thought that Kitty was going to be there on her own." "So Kenny got doped as well?" "You mentioned some discrepancies in the witness statements." "Yeah." "Natasha Fox said she was in her room, but there was no answer when room service called." "She always has camomile tea last thing." "Is that all?" "No, Julian, the gym guy, he said he was with Luke Archbold at 10:00pm." "But Angela Danby saw him hanging around Miranda Bedford's place." "Angela who?" "Danby." "One of the therapists." "Hippy dippy, calls herself 'Cloud'." "Danby." "Danby." "Isn't that the name of the doctor?" "Yeah." "She's his daughter." "Oh, for crying out loud!" "What?" "Nothing." "You go and talk to Natasha Fox, see if she's lying." "I'll go and speak to Julian Woodley." "Argh!" "Damn me!" "Hello, Julian." "Mrs Fox." "A word." "Julian, this is a murder inquiry." "Let me tell you something." "If you lie to me, that makes you an accessory to murder." "If you weren't in your room that night, where were you?" "Or perhaps a more formal interview might jog your memory." "I was with Luke." "Luke Archbold?" "Yes, my husband." "I'm sorry?" "My ex-husband." "He left me for Phoebe when my money ran out." "But he was coming back to me." "I was the one he really cared about." "Hold on." "Carter told me about Loony Miranda's book." "How it almost finished." "Thousands of pages, all handwritten." "And how she keeps it in this old safe." "So I told Mr A and..." "Well, he wanted me to steal it." "He offered me a grand, but I wasn't gonna do it." "(MOBILE RINGS) I would never have stolen anything." "I was just being helpful." "Excuse me." "Barnaby." "She's what?" "Luke's ex." "Yeah, the night Kitty died, they were cavorting in one of the vacant rooms." "But when she left, she saw something very interesting." "OK, listen." "This is what we're going to do." "What exactly is it you're looking for?" "I just wanted a last look before we leave." "You're leaving?" "Yes." "We're finished here." "As of today, we'll be running the investigation from Causton Police Station." "You can start moving everyone out now, Jones." "Yes, sir." "Goodbye." "Mrs Archbold, did your husband tell you about Miranda Bedford's book?" "Tell me what about the book?" "That he was planning to steal it." "He was what?" "This door has been locked for a couple of days, hasn't it?" "Luke said there was a problem with the sunbed." "Do you have a key?" "Not on me." "Ah." "What were you saying about Miranda's book?" "Oh, nothing." "Just something I heard." "Probably nonsense." "Sounds like it." "Thank you, Mrs Archbold, for your help." "Will excuse me a minute?" "I have a phone call." "Yes." "I'll be in the office if you need me." "Arrrgh!" "Please, help me!" "Ssh, ssh, ssh." "Quiet." "(CREAKING AND RATTLING)" "No, no." "Please..." "No." "Please." "Please." "It's all right, Mr Pottinger." "You're safe." "You're safe." "(GASPS)" "I didn't hit him hard enough, did I?" "(SIREN)" "Once Kitty Pottinger had a controlling interest in the manor," "I knew I'd be out sooner or later." "Miranda as well." "The thought of that woman ruling the roost in MY house..." "And she would've ruled." "So you decided to kill her?" "Yes." "I used to open the flotation chamber for her at all hours." "VIP treatment for her ladyship and so on." "One night, she was so out of it on booze and pills, she could barely walk." "I thought... ..'All I have to do is...hold your head under the water for a minute or two.'" "When Luke told me she was going to invest in the spa," "I remembered that night." "But you needed Kenny out of the way." "Yes." "But then his golfing weekend came up." "Perfect." "I dissolved Kitty's Temazepam in the vodka and I left it in their room." "I knew she wouldn't be able to resist." "Then, I realised that Kenny hadn't gone." "I hurried back to the room to retrieve the vodka, but it was too late." "They'd already opened it." "Oh, hello." "Oh, er..." "Just-just er...wondering if there was anything you need." "Oh, I might fancy a float later." "Oh, yes." "Yes, of course." "She said that she might give me a call later." "Sure enough, she did." "Let's put this under your head." "Oh, that's nice." "Lovely." "Now, all right, Mrs Pottinger?" "There was no sign of Kenny." "Well, I thought that it might still work." "Come out, come out, wherever you are." "So I had to improvise." "Mr Pottinger, you're disturbing the guests." "Oh, you're all wet." "Oh." "It's nice." "You know, I've...always had a little bit of a thing for you." "Well, that's..." "lovely." "But not here." "Sunbed, eh?" "Why don't you lie down?" "Well...this will be a first." "(GIGGLES)" "Oh, no, no, wait." "Just let me get these wet things off." "Well, you're full of surprises you are, aren't you?" "(LAUGHS)" "(GROANS IN PAIN)" "Now, I had to finish Kitty off." "Oh!" "I was going back to deal with Kenny when I remembered the vodka bottle." "I had to get that cleaned up." "But you'd been seen by Natasha Fox." "Yes, the ex-wife." "How perfect is that?" "And when you went back to the tanning studio," "Kenny Pottinger wasn't there, was he?" "No." "So I panicked." "Oh, God!" "I drove Kenny's car to the wood." "I sent Kitty a text to her mobile, but everything was unravelling." "I had to find Kenny." "Who was wandering the grounds, severely concussed, full of booze and pills." "I got a torch and went looking for him." "He was by the pump house." "I couldn't find a pulse." "I thought he was dead." "He's a big man." "It took me an age to get him inside." "When Luke told you he was planning to steal Miranda's manuscript to destroy her life's work and so finally be rid of her..." "Oh, my God." "Well, that's when I realised that Luke had to go too." "I was in the gym one day when Carter explained to Luke how the machine might go wrong if it wasn't properly maintained." "That's when I got the idea." "And it was easy to plant the evidence." "Too easy." "It's funny, I could say exactly the same thing about Luke." "I'd hoped you'd think Carter had left the keys at the Red House." "I-I didn't mean to involve Miranda." "I wish Magnus was still alive." "So do I, Phoebs." "When Luke told me that Miranda's book actually existed... ..I felt so...guilty for doubting her." "I wanted to look after her." "Do you understand?" "That's what I'd always done." "When we were happy." "When everyone was happy." "(SIREN APPROACHING)" "I'm so, so sorry." "I should've had more faith." "But when Luke said that he was going to steal the manuscript..." "It wouldn't have mattered if he had." "Carter gets any new pages photocopied every day." "Does he?" "Of course." "And I finished it a year ago." "I've just been tweaking bits since then." "The book's been sold, Phoebs, for pots of money." "But...but Carter told Julian that he " "Carter tends to dramatise." "He reads too much." "I just wanted everything to go back to how it was before." "It will." "However long it takes." "I'll be here." "What's the book about?" "Us." "I've got a loose end to tie up." "Toodle-pip!" "Hello, Angela." "The spa's closed." "We're not doing any more treatments." "Oh, what a shame." "Yes...it is." "No, I mean a shame for you and your father." "It's quite a double act you've got going there." "I don't know what you mean." "Do you not?" "Well, the clients sign into this place." "They're given the once-over by your father and they're erm...vulnerable." "And they tell him things they probably wouldn't tell their own GP." "I know I did." "And that, Ms Danby, is how you knew about my father." "Sit down." "Sit down!" "(SIGHS) Oh, good." "He died on his birthday." "Yes, I told your father - Ssh!" "Near water." "A river..." "No, a lake." "A big lake." "It was a beautiful sunny day." "He was on his own when he died." "You weren't there." "Nobody was there." "You didn't tell my father that, did you?" "No." "Joyce, do you remember the day my father died?" "Of course I do." "And he'd asked me to go fishing with him." "Something we always did together on his birthday when I was a kid." "And all those years later, he asked me again." "But we'd had one of our...arguments." "And I was annoyed with him." "I was angry." "And I said no, and you and I went off to have lunch." "You think that if you'd gone with him that day " "I could've done something, yeah." "I think about that a lot." "Tom." "Your father died of a massive stroke." "You couldn't have done anything." "Well, you can say that, but I feel guilty." "I really do." "And I'm very sad because the last words I ever said to my father, they were not affectionate." "And then I got this idea stuck in my head." "What idea?" "The idea that I would die when I got to his age." "Sure enough, a few weeks ago, I started feeling these aches and pains, headaches, God knows what." "Why on earth didn't you tell me?" "Because, Joyce, it's ridiculous." "It's ridiculous." "It's irrational." "It's neurotic." "So you're human, just like the rest of us." "Yeah, I assume so." "Should I have a medical team on stand-by tomorrow?" "Tomorrow?" "Your birthday!" "Oh." "No, you should not." "My twinges have gone and I'm feeling fine." "It must've helped, passing that police medical." "Yeah." "'Dad?" "'" "Tom?" "Oh, God moves in mysterious ways." "(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)" "Well done!" "Whoa!" "Champagne!" "And he passed his medical too." "♪ Happy birthday to you" "♪ Happy birthday to you" "♪ Happy birthday, dear Tom" "♪ Happy birthday to you!" "♪" "(CHEERING)" "Look, I'd like to propose a few toasts of my own, if I may." "OK." "And I'd like to start with Ben." "Oh, this has got to be a wind-up." "I'd like to thank you for your loyalty and your patience, particularly over the last few weeks, when I have not been the easiest man to work with." "He did say 'weeks'?" "(LAUGHTER)" "And to George for his humour and his expertise." "We've met a lot of interesting people over the years, haven't we, George?" "Yeah, most of them dead." "(LAUGHTER)" "And, of course, here's to cousin John." "Newly transferred to Midsomer." "I do hope the residents can curb their murderous inclinations while he's here." "I doubt it." "(LAUGHTER) And finally... ..Joyce and Cully." "I'd like to thank you for your unfailing love and support, despite late-night phone calls " "Uneaten meals." "Interrupted holidays." "Don't spoil it!" "Here's to you all." "ALL:" "Cheers." "If you er...don't mind my saying so, Tom... ..that sounded rather like a farewell speech." "Well, there you go." "You see, George, I was going on to say that erm..." "Joyce and I, we're going on a long holiday." "But I've...well, we've decided that that holiday will be indefinite." "What does that mean exactly?" "Well, that, Detective Sergeant, means that I am not coming back." "I am retiring." "Well, what's brought this on?" "(PHONE RINGS)" "Well, something happened recently, something that made me take a long, hard look at..." "Inspector Barnaby." "Yeah." "Dad, it's for you." "Er...no, I don't think it is." "I think that's for the other Inspector Barnaby." "Did you know?" "No." "Barnaby speaking." "OK." "On my way." "Sorry to break up the party, Tom, but the vicar at Badger's Drift has been found hanging from a bell rope." "Sergeant, will you show me the way?" "Make sure I don't get lost." "Yes, sir." "Yeah." "Oh, good man." "Good man." "Stephens..." "Oh, jackets, yeah." "Sir." "Well...they'll probably be needing me as well." "Take it easy, old boy." "See you later." "See you later." "This is weird." "It is." "So, Dad, what now?" "What now?" "I'm going to have my cake and eat it."