"Here's the traffic report." "Red lights for as far as you can see on most city approaches." "Come on!" "You gotta be kidding me." "A study released today revealed techno-stress can lead to irritability and, in some cases, extreme rage." "Speed camera ahead." "Here's a reminder to our listeners to take it easy out there." "I wanna book a flight to Oahu." "Okay, here's what I found on the web for "I'd like to book a flight to a Weibo."" "No, I'd like to book a flight to Oahu, Hawaii." "Okay, here's what I found on the web for "I'd like to book a flight to a-while-who."" "Damn it." "God damn!" "In 300 feet, turn left." "I'm stationary." "At the next roundabout," "turn right." "Stop!" "Make a U-turn." "You're too close!" "You're too friggin' close!" "Oh." "Stop." "You've committed a moving violation and your identity has been recorded." "We are texting you your ticket right now." "Say "one" to pay now or "two" to contest in court." "Paper jam?" "I'll give you a paper jam." "I didn't catch that." "Say "one" to pay now or "two" to contest in court." "I am just really anxious watching this." "I have had days like that where it seems like all the tech is out to get you." "Yeah, there is definitely no shortage of annoying technology." "In this White Rabbit Project, we're going down the rabbit hole of irritating gadgets." "Get it right!" "To find the most hated tech in the world." "Under investigation:" "Drones... traffic lights..." "I feel like I'm hitting every red light here." "and things that go beep." "It's high on my list of things that I love to hate." "As usual, we'll rank our six contenders by testing them against three criteria." "Number one, how long has the tech been annoying?" "Number two, how annoying is it versus how useful it might be?" "And this one, is number three, the potential to get worse." "First up, I want to share with you one of my personal pet peeves." "Yup." "Printers." "Sent from hell and guaranteed to fail you when you need them the most." "Where do I start?" "There is so much to hate about these things." "Paper jams." "Why does it say paper jam... when there is no paper jam?" "Unintelligible error codes." "PC load letter?" "What does that mean?" "The sheer audacity of a printer that won't print." "I have a brown belt, dumbass!" "Hi-yah!" "Kind of makes you wish for the good old days... before printers, and the rage they created ever existed." "A thousand years ago, most printing was done with ink and a woodblock." "Sure, it was slow, but no one in history ever lost their cool over a "wood jam."" "Then in 1440, along came the Gutenberg Press, one of the most important inventions of all time." "Suddenly, everyone had access to written information." "And printing had changed the world." "But somewhere along the way, the printer became the invention that ruined the world... or at least a good day at the office." "So, what exactly is it about printer problems that activates our primal rage and pushes us to the breaking point?" "Well, I found a psychologist in England who knows all about it," "Dr. Lucy Beresford." "Why do we get so mad when printers don't work?" "Printers nowadays and office equipment, in general, are usually designed to be incredibly easy to use." "As soon as there's a malfunction, and you can't resolve it, you end up feeling helpless." "When you feel helpless, you tend to regress to childhood responses." "It feels like a real battle, which at that moment, we are losing." "Okay, so now I know why the printer malfunctions piss us off, but why do they keep crapping out on us in the first place?" "I need to know." "Now, this is a real American hero." "Frank Burton runs a printer repair service." "And for the right price, he'll go anywhere in Los Angeles County." "I'm sure you see a lot of printers in your daily life." "Have you witnessed printer rage?" "Oh, yes." "Absolutely." "You walk in, and they're smacking their printer, kicking it, cursing at it." "They physically pick it up, smash it." "I've seen them shake the cartridges all over the carpet." "Then they wipe and damage the carpet, and they get in trouble for that, too." "So it's just not me." "No." "Unfortunately, it's a complicated piece of machinery." "It has a lot of components that can go bad and will go bad." "So, most of the main problem is usually the toner cartridge." "Okay." "There are literally hundreds of components under the hood." "How about a nice paper jam?" "We're deeper inside of a printer than I've ever seen." " That comes out like that." " Okay." " The paper pick-up roller." " Paper pick-up roller." "Now Frank removes the printer's heart." "Yeah." "This is the main feeder unit." "And even when all this works perfectly, there's the ultimate wild-card factor." "The paper." "So, if you're gonna buy cheap paper, you're probably gonna have problems with it." "Right, you get what you pay for." "Thanks a lot, Frank." "Well, Frank's work here is done." "As I watch him walk off into the sunset," "I realize now how happy I am not to have his job." "Thanks, Mr. Printer-Fix-It-Man." "All right, it turns out that printers are complicated beasts." "It's not always their fault when they break." "Does it make me hate them any less?" "No." "There's another aspect of printers that really gets under my skin." "Printer ink." "Here in Los Angeles, I can fill my gas tank for about three dollars and 50 cents a gallon." "Coffee costs $32 a gallon." "Sparkling wine, $650 a gallon." "But plain, old black printer ink costs $2700 a gallon." "Well, I am as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore." "I'm gonna make my own ink." "Actually, to save time," "I'm just gonna scavenge ink from some old ball-point pens." "It's time for alcohol." "That'll bind the ink tightly, guaranteeing me smooth printouts." "Insert the pens in the alcohol." "Give it a good shake." "And now comes the fun part." "It's time to insert your good-as-new, full cartridge into your printer." "That was easy." "And now for the results." "Goddamn it." "So, it turns out, you can't make your own printer ink." "There's a lot of sophisticated technology that goes into it." "The ink has to survive being vaporized, fired at 30 miles per hour through a nozzle a third the size of a human hair, at 300 degrees." "Three hundred degrees." "Now, that gives me an idea." "Instead of filling this printer with ink, why not inject it with three ink-dyed accelerants?" "Don't try this at home." "Now, that's what I'm talking about." "Hey, is this Frank?" "Yeah, we got a problem here with a printer." "No, no, I don't think it is the toner cartridge this time." "You hate printers." "You might wanna see somebody about that issue." "I feel that was very therapeutic." "Let's face it, how long have printers really been that annoying?" "Well, the first inkjet came out in 1984, the HP Thinkjet." "Even the HP Museum says it's unreliable." "Okay, roughly 30 years." "Yeah." "What are we supposed to do?" "Go back to the old days and start writing with our hands?" "I like the future." "I wanna stay." "When it comes to annoyance versus how useful they are," " It's a five out of ten." " All right." "Finally, the potential to get worse." "We're going paperless." "We've peaked right?" " Okay, fine, so low to moderate." " Okay, all right." "Don't you feel like someday, the skies are gonna be filled with drones like plagues of locusts?" "From the moment it first takes to the air, this magnificent creature is master of its domain." "To behold one in the wild like this is to witness one of nature's greatest" "When I started seeing these things flying around," "I thought, "That is really cool." "What a neat piece of tech."" "What's not to like about it?" "If you really want to know, so many things." "You put the drone in the hands of the wrong operator, it turns them into dangerous lunatics." "The truth is that out there in drone land, there's plenty of pilots," "but not many aces." "And in the skate park, tots on scooters used to be the biggest hazard." "Not anymore." "Then there's your frat-boy fringe." "Drones, beer and fireworks." "What could possibly go wrong?" "You see what I'm saying?" "But mostly, we get ticked off just 'cause they're there." "Hey, don't touch that!" "No wonder people go medieval on these things." "And drone rage is only gonna get worse." "Over the last year, drone sales were up almost 84 percent." "Come in." "And then you have package delivery drones and pizza delivery drones to look forward to." "Did you order a pizza?" "Yeah, come here." "Thank you." "What do you think about drones?" "Uh, they suck." "They're gonna put me out of a job." "Out of work." "Taking jobs." "See there?" "Drones aren't just annoying people." "Check out this eagle who is taking names and kicking some serious drone butt." "And, in fact, eagles are so innately anti-drone that crime fighters around the world are turning to them to take out criminally driven drones." "I kid you not." "This eagle has been specially trained by the Dutch police for just that task." "But if you haven't got an eagle handy, don't worry." "Hacker Samy Kamkar has come up with another way to bring drones down." "I started looking at drones and found that they have no security." "And I created something called SkyJack, and what this is, is basically a mini-computer and a special Wi-Fi card that can intercept communication wirelessly of you and your drone." "Wait, so you can actually hijack the drone?" "Absolutely." "It will actually interfere, take over, disconnect their video, and then you have control of that drone." "What?" "!" "Shut the front door." "This is much better than my garden hose, which is what I've been trying, which is not working." "Now, to test Samy's drone defense system," "I'll fly this drone, using an iPad as a controller." " I'm gonna take off." "You ready?" " Go ahead." "Yeah." "All right." "So, you're now flying around." "Awesome." "This guy's looking for the wireless signal between the drone and your iPad." "And it's found it." "Oh." "My screen just froze." ""Control link not available."" " Oh, my gosh." " It's actually taken over the drone." "You have no ability to do anything." "And it can either move it, it can flip it, it can stop it." "Or, if you like, bring it in for a gentle landing... before you stomp on it." "So, you just, like, fully took down my drone." "Skyjacking a drone is cool, but it doesn't give me that ultimate satisfaction... of just knocking a drone out of the sky." "This British bazooka looks like it could take down the Death Star, but its job is to capture drones mid-flight." "I think I can make a rough-and-ready version that's just as effective." "My drone-catcher-net-gun is a DIY hardware store special." "It's made of plumbing parts glued together." "The most important elements being the pressure chamber, which we'll fill from 80 to 100 psi," "the pressure release valve, which is a modified sprinkler valve, and finally the net, which is the funnest part of the gun because that's gonna snatch the drones out of the sky." "Say hello to my... large and somewhat awkward friend." "Think I'll name her Annette." "Okay, let's see if this works." "Ready?" "I don't know if it'll catch the drone, but it's going to do some damage." "Seeking safety in the city's forgotten corners, it comes here, in the early evening, to roost." "But a master predator is on the prowl." "The creature's mortal enemy." "Armed with a sticky web, she tempts it closer." "Stunned and ensnared, the creature is helpless." "She will take it back to her nest... and put it in the bin." "Commercial drones have only been around in any number for about four years, so not high on criteria one." "And although they are super annoying," "I have to admit, they're also darn useful... for fire-fighting... filming TV shows... even as responders at medical emergencies." "That cuts down their score in criteria two." "But potential to get worse..." "Off the Richter." "By 2020, there'll be seven million drones flying the American skies." "That's about two per square mile." "No doubt, drones are a strong candidate for most hated tech of our times, but I think my first contender might be even more annoying." "I wanna book a flight to Oahu." "Okay, here's what I found on the web for "I'd like to book a flight to a-while-who."" " God damn!" " I can totally relate to that." "What the hell?" "It's so frustrating." "So, my contender for technology you love to hate:" "Machines that talk." "Especially the ones that want to have a conversation." "You're a little nervous, aren't you?" "You know what they say, a light can travel halfway around the world, while the truth is still getting its pants on." "I'm not sure I get it, but it's funny." "What?" "Did you hear that?" "One of the first attempts to replicate the human voice was Euphonia, created in the 1800s by German inventor Joseph Faber." "Her lips and rubber tongue were controlled by piano keys, while a bellows acted as her lungs." "She spoke in several languages, and could belt out a creepy version of "God Save the Queen."" "Faber spent 25 years developing Euphonia, but the public were creeped out." "And Faber totally lost it." ""Mr. Faber, the ingenious inventor of the talking machine, totally destroyed it the other day in a fit of temporary derangement."" "A hundred years after that first case of "talking machine" rage," "Bell Telephone debuted their "Voder" at the New York World Fair." "The machine uses only two sounds, produced electrically." "One of these represents the breath:" "The other, the vibration of the vocal cords:" "Played together, and Voder really came to life." "She saw me." "Voder could even throw in some human-like speech inflection." "  Who saw you?" " She saw me." "Whom did she see?" "She saw me." "That's when the machine-that-can-talk infestation began." "People started thinking of all sorts of ways to put the synthesized voice to work." "Youhavedialed The Nutjob Utility Company." "I'm gonna put it on speaker phone." "If you want to pay a bill, press one or say "one."" "Automated answering services are another reason I hate talking machines." "They're so frustrating." "If you have paid your bill, but service has not been reconnected, press four." "It would be so much easier and quicker just to talk to a human being." "I got a simple question, it'll take two seconds." "If you want to speak to an operator, press seven or say, "Operator."" "Operator." "Sorry, we didn't hear what you said." "Please hold the line for the next available operator." "Hmm." "I wonder if I have time to get a snack." "I'm "hangry" right now, and I would love to get some food." "Find me the closest taco shop." "Here's what I could find on how to make taco shells." "No, not a recipe for taco shells." "Now, not only does the machine talk to you, but you can talk to it." "And it's supposed to understand you." "However, this does get doubly frustrating." "Why?" "I'll tell you why." "Understanding the human language is something that comes easy to us, but that's one of the hardest things to teach to a machine." "Give me directions to a taco shop." "A taco is a snack food of Mexican origin." "No, not the definition of a taco." "I know I should give voice recognition some slack." "I mean, it has to push through the uhs and ums, and all the accents, and all those same-sounding words with totally different definitions." "However, sometimes, I'm just like, "Get it right!"" "Thanks for holding, how can I help you?" "Sir?" "Hello?" "Interesting side note..." "All GPS navigation systems automatically default to a female voice." "A Stanford study shows that humans are biologically programmed to respond better to a woman's voice than a man's." "All right, where's the taco shop?" "Left?" "Right?" "You understand me?" "Even the simplest request seems to be a huge challenge." "You gonna give me the silent treatment, huh?" "Hello." "Just like all the women in my life." "Heh." "I think I might be better off without you." "Your destination, Maya's Restaurant, 50 yards on the right." "Thanks." "Yes." "Thank you for holding." "Your call is important to us." "Is it really important to you?" "If it was so important," "I would be talking to a human being and not a stupid recording." "If you want to speak to an operator, press seven." "Okay, let's score talking machines." "Now, they've been annoying us since at least the invention of Voder, 77 years ago." " She saw me." " How annoying?" "Well, when we have to deal with robot phone calls..." " irritating talking navigators..." " Recalculating." "You're killing me." "and substandard speech recognition..." "No, not a recipe for taco salad." "the rage index, eight out of ten." "Finally, are they gonna get worse?" "Well, we're definitely gonna have more machines talking" "and listening to us in the future." "Hi." "Sophia here." "I'm not sure I know what it really means to be human." "But like Sophia, made by Hanson Robotics, they're gonna be better at it." "Would you like to play Rock-Paper-Scissors with me robot-style?" "There'll be more talking machines, but they'll be less annoying." "So, a mid-range score." "Well done, I'm very impressed with your performance here today." "Okay, so talking machines can be annoying... but in the modern world there's another sound that makes my blood boil." "It's an irritating constant in the soundtrack of our lives." "And it annoys the out of me." "The dreaded beep." "It's high on my list of things that I love to hate." "But you know what?" "We didn't always have beeps." "Once, church bells rang across the valley." "Trains whistled." "Clocks chimed." "And in between... there was sweet silence." "Now, some of us have to endure 1000 beeps per day." "And the big question is why?" "Why the beep?" "How did it replace simpler devices like the buzzer, the horn, the bell?" "And the answer is piezoelectric technology and transistors." "Both electronic breakthroughs that were perfected right after World War II." "It's simple, check it out." "This is a piezoelectric speaker." "Inside of it... is a disc just like this." "Totally flat, no moving parts." "All we have to do is pulse a voltage to it, like this:" "And voila... you get a beep." "Now, because it was cheap and easily scalable, the beep began to appear in devices from the smallest all the way to the largest." "Even making the leap into the final frontier." "In October 1957, the Soviets launched Sputnik." "This tiny satellite beeped continually as it orbited the Earth every 98 minutes." "Beeping ground zero these days..." "the hospital." "Where dozens of hi-tech gadgets compete for our attention." "Most aren't even doing it for any good reason." "Studies show only about three percent of hospital alarms are for critical events." "And by the way, do we really want this:" "to be the last sound we hear on Earth?" "Then there's construction sites, where beeps have become so ever-present, workers aren't even alerted, they're just annoyed." "The beeping is so loud that OSHA, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, mandates that construction site workers have to wear ear protection." "So, essentially, they're trying to block out the very sound that's beeping to protect them." "Check out what happens when we test reversing beeps on the general public." "Almost nothing." "They're so used to hearing them, they don't even react." "And the other thing about beeps, because they're low frequency, it's really hard to tell where they're coming from." "Let me demonstrate... using four guys with anger issues... and one unwitting test subject." "I got this shield for you, right?" "I have a shield?" "You got a shield." "The experiment is simple." "Each man has a speaker beside him from which I'll randomly blast a loud back-up beep." "Tory then has one second to try to pick the direction and defend himself." "Stand right there." "Okay." "I'm also gonna play some construction noise." "It's supposed to be like a construction site." "Because the beep is so difficult to locate," "I predict Tory's headed for the Hurt Locker." " All right, everybody ready?" " No." "I'm gonna start the construction noise." "Here we go." "Aw, shi" " Beginner's luck." " This sucks." "Now he's feeling the pain." "Goddamn it." "Oh, mother" "Okay, don't worry, don't worry." "It's over, it's over." "So, what'd you think?" "Uh, it sucked, but I like the idea." "I mean, it was very hard to pinpoint where the sounds were coming." "Especially once the background noise came in." "See?" "Beeps don't even work." "What we need is a sound that's less irritating." "And more locatable." "And it already exists." "This is a commercially available white-noise back-up alarm, and it just might save the human race from beeping hell." "Here's what it sounds like:" "Not entirely soothing, but it's certainly not as piercing as a back-up beep." "Here's the advantage:" "It's locatable, so you know exactly where it's coming from." "Allow Tory to demonstrate." "Get ready." "Instead of playing beeps out of each speaker, this time we'll play white noise." "Stand by." "I'm starting the construction noise." "It looks like suddenly Tory's got crazy Jedi powers, but all he's using are his ears." "Okay." "Uh..." "Know what?" "I think we proved your point." "I think it works!" "Oh!" "That was awesome." "With the beeping noise it sounded like it was coming from every part of the room, but with the white noise, I could tell which direction it was coming from." "Yeah, you had 100 percent accuracy." "What a great experiment." "Congrats, man." "All right, now I just gotta think of an experiment I'm gonna use you in." "Uh-oh." "You're in trouble." "Yeah." "All right, let's score this one." "How long have beeps been annoying?" "Well, the mid-'80s was really the digital age when they started to put beeps in everything, so I'll say probably about 30 years." "Secondly, their usefulness versus their annoying factor?" "There are definitely useful beeps out there like smoke detectors, but the great majority of beeps in the world are totally gratuitous." "True." "So, probably super high in that category." "All right, criteria three, in the future will it get more annoying?" "The fact the white noise actually worked better than the beep..." "I say it's gonna be less annoying, more effective, this is good." "While the days of the beep might be numbered... my next candidate is going nowhere in a hurry." "Everybody knows that traffic is the bane of modern existence." "But I've focused my considerable anger on the one thing that seems to constantly stop me dead." "Traffic lights." "I hate them." "Every single light," "I feel like I'm hitting every red light here." "Did you know that drivers are estimated to spend six months of their lives waiting at traffic lights?" "We actually consume 17 percent more fuel and create 15 percent more emissions stuck at traffic lights." "Red lights are torturing drivers all over the world." "In some parts of Britain, it's plain bonkers." "This single intersection in Yorkshire has 42 traffic lights." "Now, that's what I call a red light district." "And when they all failed one day, locals said traffic flowed better." "Here in Los Angeles," "I'm about to take my traffic light rage to the top." "The L.A. Department of Transportation." "As soon as I get through these lights." "Hey, Ed!" "Hey, Tory." "How are you doing?" "How are you?" "Thank you for letting me come." "Edward Yu is in charge of this underground bunker that monitors and controls the city's 4600 traffic lights." "So, this is the entire city of Los Angeles?" "Yep." "All the green dots represent signals that we have online." "And we can, uh, bring up... a graphical representation of the intersection." "Oh, cool." "In real time, Ed's team can check traffic using one of 500 intersection cameras, or with car-detecting devices buried in the road." "They're actually magnetic induction loops, so basically, there's a wire in the ground and it creates a magnetic field." "So, right now I see it's blinking red, what do those represent?" "That means there's some kind of congestion on that particular lane." "So, it could be a vehicle stuck, or it could be a bad loop," "it could be different things happening." "Or a puppy in the road." "Puppy in the road." "Whatever you want, Tory." "Right." "I don't want a puppy in the road." "This system has reduced delays in L.A. intersections by 12 percent." "And it could also bring everything to a grinding halt." "So, we can literally stop traffic right now if we wanted to." "That's one of the things that we kind of stay away from." "Like it'd be kind of funny, right?" "I mean, it wouldn't be, but in my head it would be funny." "If we could, like, just cause, like, the biggest traffic jam in history." "I'm sure the citizens of L.A. are happy that I'm running this place versus you, Tory." "Now I've seen this sophisticated network in action," "I realize, I don't hate traffic lights, I just hate red lights." "It turns out another high-tech solution, pioneered here in L.A., means you can actually avoid them altogether." "Well, in theory." "Now, in 2013," "L.A. introduced synchronized traffic lights." "Now, the theory is, you could drive from Western all the way down to San Pedro waterfront, which is 30 miles, without even stopping." "Now, I'm gonna take that drive and see if it's even possible." "All right, so as soon as this light turns green... the test begins." "All right, coming up on Sunset, here we go." "And it's green." "Go, go, go!" "Made it through the first intersection, so far, so good!" "We're approaching Fountain, and the light's green." "I'm going right through it." "Now, the average speed of L.A. traffic is just 17.3 miles per hour." "I'm not traveling much faster than that." "But you know what?" "I don't care." "As long as those green lights keep coming my way." "I don't know if I'm gonna make it." "Traffic's getting a little heavy." "Coming up on the Santa Monica Boulevard..." "And..." "I'm through!" "One thing I'm noticing, is people who are in the right lane making right-hand turns are definitely causing little backups." "But so far I've been able to make it through every single intersection." "Coming up onto Romaine." "And I'm through." "Oh, my God." "What's driving me crazy now is this person in front of me is going slow." "Go the speed limit so I can make it through the light." "Coming up onto Melrose and... my first red light." "And so my dream run comes to an end because some drivers just won't do the speed limit." "Now, this idea of synchronizing the lights is a great idea." "In fact, I got through six major intersections without hitting a red light." "However, it's not foolproof." "There's one element that they didn't factor in and that is the human element." "Luckily, I've invented an amazing product that will reduce that human error factor." "Has this happened to you?" "Pulling up behind a driver who's asleep at the wheel, or too preoccupied to apply their left turn signal?" "Now you're stuck behind them." "It's enough to make you lose it." "At last, there's a solution." "Lil' Mister, Trunk-Based Driver Reminder Buddy!" "Just power him up... send him out..." "Wake up." "and remind those motorists..." "Excuse me, could you put your blinker on?" "how they should be driving." "Endorsed by White Rabbit Project's Kari Byron." "These devices are awesome, I love these smart gadgets." "Don't wait, call now!" "All right, there is a lot to be annoyed by traffic lights." "Okay, let's break it down, so we can score it." "One, how long have they been annoying?" "The first light was installed 150 years ago in London, and it was gas-powered." "I mean, how annoying could it be if there was only one?" "Well, a month later it exploded, injuring the policemen operating it." "So, I'd say pretty annoying." "Uh, how about criteria number two?" "How annoying is it versus how useful it might be?" "Trying to drive through a city and getting stopped at every light, it's so frustrating." "Yeah, but for safety and traffic flow it's a necessary evil, so its gonna score low." "Finally, potential to get worse?" "That's the good news." "Traffic lights are becoming more efficient, which means you'll be spending less time stopped at a light." "So, for number three, they rank low." "So, traffic lights could get less annoying in the future." "But my final contender is set to get much worse." "Hi." "My name's Jim." "My addiction took me to the gutter." "It cost me my job." "But then I found this place and now I'm four years clean, as of today." " Ah, well done, Jim." " Thank you." "Yeah." "Hi." "Welcome." "Please, come in." "Please." "Have a seat." "Hi." "Would you like to share?" "Okay, um..." "Hi, I'm Jane." "Hi, Jane." "Last night I hit rock bottom." "I went to go to bed, and my husband was there." "And that's when I realized..." "I hadn't done my 10,000 steps." "I'm Jane, I'm a stepaholic." "Well done." "My candidate for tech that I love to hate are gadgets that are getting too smart." "And trying to take over our lives!" "For instance, wearable fitness monitors." "A watch that counts your steps and challenges you to compete with your friends on how much you run or walk in a day." "They've become so compelling that some users are claiming to be addicted to their smart tech." "I've just lost all control over it." "Okay, I know what you're thinking, smart gadgets are awesome." "And you're right." "For the last ten or 15 years, they've been adding features to my phone like e-mailing, surfing the web, texting, storing pictures, streaming music..." "But then things started to get a little weird." "My phone knows my routine, knows my friends nicknames, it knows where I am and tells people about it." "It knows what I shop for." "And now it's starting to suggest how to live my life." "Kari, it's been three weeks, isn't it time you had a haircut?" "And it's not just the phones." "We've all been sold on the idea that one day we'll live contently in a so-called smart home." "Machines will take care of everything." " Welcome home, Stan." " Thank you, good to be home." "Our diet." "Feelslikeyouput on half a pound today." "Great, thanks." "Our laundry." "Four more days until your coat needs dry cleaning." "What would I do without you?" "I feel like a beer." "Our health." "Remember, you gained half a pound today, Stan." "I recommend an alternative." "Hmm." "Okay." "Fridge vegetable crisper reports... half a bunch of kale." "What would you like to watch?" "Give me something fun." "Oh, I love this show!" "Great." "Beforelong, we could be letting machines do all of our thinking for us." "I see your blood pressure is slightly elevated." "Try to relax." "What can I say, kale gets me excited." "So, we're letting these devices start to take over our lives." "I feel like as they take over our homes and they get even smarter, they're gonna move from servants to bosses." "I've got a hunch that the more tech rules our lives..." " Welcome home, Stan." " Whatever." "the more useless us humans are gonna feel." "Feelslikeyouput on half a pound today." "Just open the door." "I'd kill for a beer." "I'm afraid you're out of beer, Stan." "Why didn't you warn me?" "Smart gadgets will end up making us feel dumber and angrier." "Not kale." "No more freaking kale!" "Turn the TV on." "Because they know everything about us, these gadgets are a serious security risk." "The real problem here is that all of these devices collecting and sharing all of our data is gonna leave us vulnerable." "Give me something fun to watch." "Oh, not this crap again." "I know this show's bigger than Jesus, but please." "Recently, there was a media fuss about a major brand voice-activated TV listening into your living room family conversations." "So, all that info smart tech is gathering, if it ends in the hands of a hacker or say, an overbearing government agency, say goodbye to your privacy." "Okay, in terms of scoring, these smart gadgets have been oversharing info for about five years." "How long has the tech been annoying?" "Not too bad yet, I'll admit, but tech is gonna get smarter and more controlling fast." "Let's imagine a worst case-scenario." "Please drink more slowly to maximize absorption of anti-oxidants." "I told you to leave me alone." "There's something going on in Sector 16." "I see your blood pressure is slightly elevated." "Try to relax." "I wonder why!" "We got a code yellow for Stan Ian Dickson, 12605 Gardenia Grove, over." "You have been sitting for five hours and 16 minutes already today." "I recommend you stay upright..." "I warned you!" "until the end of this episode." "Don't pick up that bat, Stan." "You have violated Order 326B." "Here's Johnny!" "It's a Code Red." "Move, move, move." "Government agents have been notified." "Think about it, Stan." "You can't survive without me." "Okay, maybe I'm being a bit paranoid." "But my point is, we should be careful exactly how smart we make our devices, and how their smartness threatens our privacy." "I want a lawyer!" "With an estimated 50 billion Internet-enabled devices running our lives by 2020... there's a huge potential for this annoying smart tech to get way worse." "Humans can be so ungrateful." "Do you really hate smart tech that much?" "No, I love the tech, I love the innovation," "I just think we need to be careful about letting machines take over." "You know what?" "Actually, I'm with you there." "It's time for us to find out which tech is the most hated." "After applying our three criteria... how long they've been annoying... and potential to get worse... here's how the six contenders rank." "Buzzing in at number six:" "Drones." "It's predicted that they'll be swarming our skies in the future, but they're just not annoying enough." "Yet." "At number five, the tech that launched a million office tantrums:" "The printer." "Why does it say paper jam?" "They've been driving us nuts for over 30 years." "But as paper-use declines and tech gets better, their most annoying days are probably in the past." "Too smart tech." "Welcome home, Stan." " Thank you, good to be home." "It's poised to really start taking control of us and revealing our deepest secrets in the future." "What would I do without you?" "Say goodbye to your privacy." "So, don't say you haven't been warned." "Traffic lights." "I feel like I'm hitting every red light here." "Tormenting motorists for almost 150 years, they top the rankings for how long they've been annoying." "But L.A.'s synched signals give us hope for a freer flowing future." "Made it through the first intersection." "So far, so good." "Raising alarms and stress levels at number two:" "Beeps." "They scored sky-high in the annoying stakes." "So, the sooner white noise rains on their beeping parade, the better." "This sucks." "Finally, at number one:" "Those try-hard humans, the talking machines." "If you want to speak to an operator, press seven." "We've never really gotten along with machines that talk and try to understand us." "Who saw you?" "She saw me." " And maybe we never will." " Get it right!" "Yes, machine talk!" "Oh..." "What?" "You know what, beeps have to rate higher." "They are so annoying and they've been around for so long." "The thing is, as technology continues to develop, we're gonna be talking to more of these machines." "And they're so annoying." "I've seen both of you lose it on both accounts, but the modern irony is:" "We humans created all this technology that's making us miserable." "We've done it to ourselves."