"[woman speaks French] Your Majesty." "[planes heard overhead] [continues speaking French] So, it is always the Sovereign who begins the meal." "It is absolutely forbidden to begin before he, or she, takes their first bite." "Oui, Mademoiselle." "[woman speaking French] During the meal, when it is the first course, you must only speak to the person seated on your right until the end." "[in English] Time for the Vice-Provost, Lilibet." "[bell rings]" "[woman] Your Royal Highness." "Come on." "[man] "There are two elements of the Constitution:"" "wrote Walter Bagehot in 1867." ""The efficient and the dignified."" "Which is the monarch?" "Your Royal Highness?" " The dignified?" " Very good." "The efficient has the power to make and execute policy and is answerable to the electorate." "What touches all should be approved by all." "The dignified gives significance and legitimacy to the efficient and is answerable only...?" " To God." " Precisely." "Two institutions, Crown and government, dignified and the efficient, only work when they support each other." "When they trust one another." "You can underline that." " Do you teach this to your other pupils?" " No, just you." "This is what I teach them." "These are exam papers." " Shouldn't I know all of this, too?" " No, Ma'am." "All very undignified." "[Stalin giving speech in Russian]" "[applause]" "[clock ticking] [clock chimes]" "I see Mr. Einstein has changed his mind again?" " Oh?" " The scientist." "No, I know who he is." "What exactly has he changed his mind about?" "That's rather less clear to me, but everyone's making a tremendous fuss about it." "At the time of my education, I asked the Vice-Provost if we shouldn't spend a bit of time on Literature, Philosophy, Science." "He felt I had enough on my plate as it was." "But don't you think I should have learned about it?" "Why?" "Well, doesn't one have a duty to know certain things?" "You have a great many other virtues." "You can't be expected to know everything." "Well, no, that's the point, Mummy." "I know almost nothing." "You know when to keep your mouth shut." "That's more important than anything." "And that would've been fine if I'd gone on to live a normal life." "But now I spend so much time with politicians and statesmen." "You know, I live in dread of being left alone with them." "Your dear papa was just the same." "Be nice to think that one could, if not hold one's own, then at least not have to steer the conversation away to dogs and horses every time." "The Prime Minister's on his way, Ma'am." "Well, one good thing about this one is you never have to open your mouth at all." "That's true." "Just smile politely while he drones on and on." "Your Majesty may or may not be aware, but this is my retirement year." "Is it really?" "How long has it been?" "33 years, Ma'am, serving four sovereigns." "One can hardly imagine the place without you." "It's kind of you to say so, Ma'am, but we're well prepared for the transition." "A deputy's long been groomed and made ready." " Two deputies, right?" " Yes, Ma'am." " A senior and a junior." " An heir and a spare." "Quite." "Well, before we discuss any of that," "I'd like you to know how grateful we all are to you." " For your years of service." " Thank you, Ma'am." "My father was quite dependent on you." "You know that." "And in our short time together, I could see how I could be, too." "But you deserve to put your feet up." "And I think I could work quite well with Martin Charteris." " Martin Charteris?" " Yes." "I assume you'll give that your blessing." "Martin is the junior deputy private secretary, Ma'am, the spare." "Michael Adeane is the senior." "The rightful heir." "Yes, but Martin and I have worked together before." " I'm aware of that." " I'm sure Michael would understand that I had a pre-existing relationship with Martin and not take it personally." "Martin is a younger man." "It's the more natural fit." "If that is Your Majesty's wish." "[snoring]" "Prime Minister, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting." "Not at all." " Oh, but I see you've found company." " Yes." "Honey, Sugar, Pippin, say goodbye." "Thank you, Tommy." "[dogs bark]" "Shall we make a start?" "One item overshadows every other on the agenda this week, Ma'am." "The Soviets and their H-bomb." "We now have confirmation that they have been testing in the Kazakh Desert." "It is vital that we act swiftly to secure peace and vital that we British spearhead the effort." "I have always been the person everyone wants in a room with the Russians because Stalin would only talk to me." "With him gone, there is a great danger that Eisenhower will take it upon himself to run the show." "And that would be bad?" "Oh, a disaster, Ma'am." "For all the obvious reasons." "[coughs]" "Of course." "Remind me." "Of the obvious reasons." "Russia... is a great old empire which demands and deserves respect." "Americans like to wave the big stick and speak with a loud voice." "In the matter of world governance, they are not yet ready." "They need an experienced and elder power to guide them, school them." "Yes, we could all do with some school." "To that end, I've asked the Foreign Secretary to go to Washington to lay plans for a summit meeting between myself and Eisenhower, to start discussing a unified approach for how to bring the Russians back into the family." " Do you think he's up to it?" " Eisenhower?" "No, the Foreign Secretary." "Anthony is the finest Foreign Secretary this country has had for generations." "Yes, but I've heard he's also a very sick man." "I would hate to think that the country wasn't in safe hands, being led by healthy men." "We are both fine, Ma'am." "I assure you." "[man] Early indications are that the bomb they tested was a fission and fusion-fueled Sloika design, based on lithium-six deuteride and uranium-two-three-five with a yield of 400 kilotons." "Khrushchev claims the weapon is ready for immediate use, capable of deployment from a bomber aircraft." "He was bragging about it to the Presidium last week." "Do we believe that?" "Latest CIA intelligence seems to support it, with the Soviets known to be ramping up their production of long-range bomber aircraft..." " [panting]" " Are you all right, sir?" "My bag, please." "Give me my bag." "You can do this." "[man] Sir, this really should be done by a doctor." "Just find a vein." "Come on!" "[man] Now, we can say with confidence that Joe Four's total yield, why, was in the range of four to 500 kilotons." "Now, intelligence sources indicate the Soviets used the layered design... similar to our own "Ivy Mike" detonation in '52, which is consistent with the blast radius." "The British Foreign Secretary." "That gentleman is not just a sleeping man, it's a sad metaphor." "The second most powerful man in what was once the most powerful country on Earth." "What's that on his arm?" "[man] Looks like blood, sir." "[Eisenhower] Good God." "Colonel Charteris, Your Majesty." " You asked to see me?" " I did." "Do sit down." "Now, as I'm sure you're aware," "Tommy Lascelles will be leaving us shortly to begin his well-deserved retirement." "And his departure will leave something of a gap." "Yes." "And I was wondering whether you might be interested in filling that gap?" " As what, Ma'am?" " My Private Secretary." " I'd be delighted, but..." " But what?" "What about Michael Adeane?" " What about him?" " He is the natural successor." "I was hoping it might be possible for me to make my own decision just once." "There are two Private Secretaries to choose from." "And I happen to prefer the Junior." "So, shall we say that's that?" "Yes." "I suppose we shall." " Good." " Thank you." "Is there anything I can do?" "In the meantime." "No, no, no." "Thank you, Martin." "Actually, Martin..." "A tutor." " Ma'am?" " I'd like to engage one." " Any particular field?" " General education." " I'll come up with some names." " Thank you." "Oh, and, Martin, preferably one, you know, not too stuffy." "Sense of humor." "Understood." "I'm no stranger to pain, Winston, but this has become intolerable." "I must have corrective surgery." "And this "corrective surgery," must it really be Boston?" "That's where the best man is." "The only man." "They're better equipped to deal with gall bladder problems in America." "Due to the high fat diets they have here." "Leaving me without you for the summit with Ike." " Can't you delay it?" " No, I can't." "Besides, you have already stated your ability to run the ship without me for some time." "In jest, my dear boy, when you become mutinous and presumptuous." "You know how much I depend on you." " I do." " Well?" "But I'd still like to hear you say it again." " What?" " I'd like you to say it again so that... all the people listening in can hear." "You were saying." "That..." "I depend on you, Anthony." "[Eden] What for?" "[Churchill] For your judgement." "[Eden] What else?" "[Churchill] Your integrity." "And loyalty." "Louder, please." "Yes, all right!" "Yes, I need you there, Anthony!" "I think we're all agreed, I need you!" "And I need the surgery, Winston." "It's my life that's at stake now." "I'm sorry." " [dial tone] - [Churchill groans]" "[woman] Prime Minister." "Prime Minister?" "[music playing from car radio]" "[Charles] What's that?" "[woman] Here, Charles." "That one." "[Charles] Look." "Look at this." "Do you like my picture?" "[woman] It's a rocket." "One day it'll take us into space." "[door opens]" "Let's move on." " [man] Professor Hogg, Your Majesty." " Who?" "Colonel Charteris said you were expecting him." "Oh, yes." "[Charles] Where's Mercury?" "[woman] High up in the sky, Charles." "It's where all the other planets are." " Your Majesty." " Professor Hogg." "[Elizabeth] During the course of my new daily life," "I have to spend a great deal of time alone with statesmen." "Men, like yourself, of exceptional intellect, who've risen to the very top of their profession by virtue of their intelligence and their ability." "There are frequently times when I am discussing agendas of the day with these people that I find myself... on the back foot." "At something of a disadvantage." "Because I..." "I can't keep up." "Or I don't know what lies behind something." "And that's no way to live." "To be uninformed and entirely at someone else's mercy." "Quite." "Which is why I was hoping that you might help me hold my own, some more, feel at less of a disadvantage, fill in..." "Fill in some of the gaps." "Perhaps Her Majesty would give me an idea of roughly how far she got?" " When?" " With her education." " In what sense?" " Which exams she might have taken and passed, that I might better know at what level to pitch our tutorials." "The Higher School Certificate, for example." "All right." "The School Certificate, then." "No." "Any privately-tutored equivalents thereof, perhaps?" "I see." "Her Majesty the Queen, Ma'am." "This is a surprise." "To what do I owe the pleasure?" "I came because I wanted to ask you a question about my education." "What about it?" " The fact that I didn't receive one." " You did." "Sewing, needlework and saying poems with Crawfie." "That is not an education." "Darling, you also spent years one-on-one with the Vice-Provost of Eton College." "Being drilled in the Constitution." "Which is far more than your sister ever got." "Mummy!" "I'm talking about a normal education." "In normal subjects." "You received an entirely appropriate education for a woman of your background." "Which has entirely failed to prepare me for the life I lead now." "We taught you how to be a lady, a princess." "What do you want?" "A degree?" "No one wants a bluestocking or a college lecturer as sovereign." "They want a Queen." "Yes, a queen who is hopelessly ill-equipped to deal with the people that she has to meet." "What has this to do with me?" "How could you have let me down like this?" "Is this a criticism of my motherhood?" "I would've thought you'd think twice before throwing stones on that score." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I hardly see you blazing a trail in that department." "That's not fair." "Besides, I thought we were past the age now where we take cheap shots at our parents." "I educated you as your father and I saw fit." "Why didn't we push harder?" "No one advised that we should." "That includes the Vice-Provost." "Oh, don't force something that doesn't come naturally, dear." "That's what I've learned." "We all have to accept our limitations in life." "That's it, there." "The grace and favor flat, belonging to the Queen's Private Secretary." " Our new home." " How much of the ground floor is it?" "All of it." "Including the rooms stretching to the back." "The girls will be happy here." "Now, we must go." " I don't want anyone to see us." " Why?" "Well, it's just indiscreet." " And I haven't got the job yet." " What about that tree?" "It's blocking all the light." "Well, I daresay one could ask to have it trimmed back." "Will you ask?" "I don't see the rush, but..." "yes, I can ask." "Discreetly." "[Bobbety] Good God." "A stroke, Bobbety, that's all, a minor stroke." "But I'm on the mend, bouncing back." "Well, you don't look very bouncy to me." " Who knows?" " No one." "And no one can know." "Especially the Queen." "What?" "I have promised her that the country will always have a healthy man in charge." "You know me, Bobbety, I am a man of my word." "But you can't just hide it from her." "I mean, you're head of the government which runs the country in her name." "Don't you think she'll smell a rat when no one turns up at her private audience?" "The Palace has been told that I have a cold." "A cold?" "Jock, you have my permission to extend that to the flu." " Sir." " But no more." "And what about the meeting with Eisenhower in Washington?" "Alas, as I have been refused permission to fly," "I am left with no option." " To postpone it?" " Are you mad?" "The Russian situation could not be more delicately poised, nor more needing of my influence." "No." "We have to get Eisenhower here." "[Bobbety] You see, Tommy, there's no other way." "Well, how about the 12th of July?" " I doubt it." " All right, the 13th?" " I doubt that as well." " The 14th then." "I can put it to her, Bobbety, but I wouldn't hold your breath." "Well, I'll leave it to your powers of persuasion." "Goodbye." "[Lascelles] Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am, but I just had Lord Salisbury on the phone with an unusual request." "President Eisenhower is due to meet the Prime Minister in Washington for a summit next week, but Mr. Churchill's developed a cold, a nasty cold and Lord Moran, his doctor, has forbidden him to fly." "Now, the feeling is the meeting is of the utmost importance so Downing Street was wondering whether we might be able to help." " Help how?" " By inviting the President here." " Where?" " Here, Ma'am, to Buckingham Palace, to a state banquet next week." "The feeling is that, by that time," "Winston should have made a sufficient recovery." "Well, I was planning on going to Sandringham." "I'm afraid it would mean postponing that by a few days." "We can extend an invitation through our ambassador in Washington." " Is that a green light, Ma'am?" " Yes." "Then, if you'll excuse me, I better get cracking." "Do you have a moment, Tommy?" "I need to speak to you urgently." "I don't, I'm afraid, I have a state banquet to arrange, so if it can possibly wait until later..." "I think when you hear it, you'll share my sense of alarm." "It seems that Martin Charteris is to replace you as Her Majesty's Private Secretary, not me." "What?" "Says who?" "Says Margaret Colville, Jock Colville's wife, who plays bridge with Alice Jameson, lady-in-waiting, who as you may know, plays tennis with Mary Charteris." "Why on earth would I know that?" "Anyway, so confident are they of the appointment," " that Mary has even gone so..." " Don't tell me." "So far to speak to the Palace Head Gardener about trimming the tree outside my window." "Yes." "Ask Martin to come and see me, would you?" "That is, if he and his lady wife are not too busy measuring carpets and curtains for what is still my home." " Right, it's green light." "Jump to it." " Sir." " You asked to see me, Tommy." " I did." "Do sit down." "Martin, you've worked for the Palace now, for what, three years?" "I'd have thought that long enough for you to know the ropes." "Understand the rules, the way things are done." "I think I do." "Manifestly not." "Professor Hogg, Your Majesty." " Your Majesty." " Professor." "I know you were going to prepare some tutorials of a more general nature, but it seems I'm going to need some more specific knowledge first." " On which subject?" " President Eisenhower." "He'll be coming here in a matter of days and I'll be expected... to sit next to him and make conversation with him." "So I need to know all about him and what interests him." "The military industrial complex, Ma'am." "What?" "And its threat to democratic government." "It's what most concerns him." " Something lighter, perhaps?" " Golf?" " Anything else?" " Oil painting." " I'm told he paints landscapes." " Oh, don't they all?" "Would Your Majesty give me 24 hours to do some research and come back to you?" "Yes." "Of course." "He was baptized, wasn't he?" "Just six months ago." "Yes, I think I read about that." "A Presbyterian." " Did they dunk him, do you think?" " Dunk?" " A full immersion." "In some river." " If I were a gambling man, I'd say yes." "Are you?" "Occasionally." "The Derby, Ma'am, and the Grand National." "Oh, how did you get on this year?" "At the National, rather well." "I had "Early Mist" on an each-way bet." "Oh, well done, you." "You won by 20 lengths." "I share your admiration for Mr. O'Brien, and everything he's doing at Ballydoyle Stables." " Who?" " The trainer." " That's not why you backed him?" " No." "I just liked the name." "I see." " Back in 24 hours." " Thank you." "[door closes]" "[Clementine] "I'm so sorry to hear that in these past days you've not been in your usual good health."" "Isn't that nice?" ""And that your tireless exertions on behalf of this country have resulted in this temporary inconvenience."" ""Temporary inconvenience."" "How much does she know exactly?" "Because, from the tone of this..." "Winston." " She thinks it's a cold." " A cold?" "Yes, a cold." "If she knew the truth, she would bid me stand down." " Good." " A replacement would have to be found." "The wrong replacement, because the right man..." " Anthony." " ...is himself incapacitated." "Too much knowledge can be a dangerous thing." "Do you mean to tell me that, at the moment, this country's without a fit leader or a deputy leader?" " [knock at door]" " Shh." "Not so loud." " But..." " Come." "Good news, sir." "It's a yes from Eisenhower." "You were right, an invitation from the Palace has proved impossible for the Americans to refuse." "They've changed his schedule and they're going to make it work." " But that's wonderful news!" " Don't get out bed, Winston!" " It is wonderful!" " Don't get out bed, darling." "Don't get out of bed." "If Ike comes here, I can be leader again." " Winston." " That's what really matters." "Getting me and Ike in the same room, so that he and I can..." "Do go back to bed." "...get on with building a real and lasting peace with the Russians!" "Look, why don't you admit the truth, that you have been fighting for your life and tell the Queen?" "Winston?" " How serious is it this time?" " It's impossible to know." "I fear we do now have to put off the Americans." "Yes, of course." " And tell the Queen." " No." "No, we're in too deep now for that." "If Eisenhower isn't coming, blame it on him, not on Winston." "The Queen must never know how much we've kept from her." "[man] Prepare for inspection!" "Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am." "I've been asked by Downing Street to inform you first that President Eisenhower is no longer able to leave the United States, owing to a political crisis at home." "[sighs]" "Well, that's a relief." "And that the Prime Minister still hasn't shaken off his cold." "And will not be attending today's private audience." "Really?" "Goodness." "That's the second consecutive private audience that he's missed." " It's most unlike him." " Yes, isn't it?" "Are you all right, Martin?" "Your Majesty, I've had the opportunity to think about your very kind offer to become your Private Secretary." "And I'm afraid I must decline." "Why?" "In this instance, I really do believe you'll be better served by Michael." "No, you don't." " Ma'am?" " You don't think that." "Nor could you ever think that." "For the very good reason that it's not true." "Have you been spoken to by Tommy Lascelles?" " Ma'am." " You have." "And what did he have to say?" "That I should've refused the offer in the room." "That I obviously have no respect or understanding for Palace tradition and protocol, and that it must be Michael Adeane." "Did he now?" "If you'll excuse me for a moment, Martin?" "[Lascelles] Come." "Oh." " Your Majesty." " Look, Tommy." "There's no pretty way of saying this, I would prefer Martin." " And that is your right, Ma'am." " Yes." "And I rather thought so, too." "But it would be a mistake." " And why is that?" " Please." "There's a way of doing things here." "An order developed over time, generations." "And individuality in the House of Windsor, any departure from that way of doing things, is not to be encouraged." "It results in catastrophes like the abdication." "Abdicating the Throne and choosing my Private Secretary" " is hardly comparing like with like." " I disagree." "I served your uncle, as you know." "And it's in the small things that the rot starts." "Do the wrong thing once, it's easier to do it again." "Do the individualistic thing once, it is easy to do it again." "Now, in the case of your uncle, it started with wanting to use" "Buckingham Palace simply as the office and York House as his home." "Then he stopped attending church, decided he wanted to sell Sandringham." "He dismissed courtiers who'd served under his father in favor of younger, sycophantic supplicants." "Of course, no one saw the abdication coming then, but the ego, the willfulness, the individualism, the rot had set in." " Martin and I have an understanding." " I don't deny it." "It would make me feel as if I had an ally, friend almost, in what can sometimes feel like a very..." "Well..." "The next in line and the senior of my two deputies and the natural heir is Michael." " Your man." " The right man." "But as always, the final say is with you, Ma'am." " [phone rings]" " Thank you." "[ringing continues]" "Just had the Palace on the phone, requesting a private audience this afternoon." "It seems the Queen wants to see you, sir." "Me?" "What's all this about, Patrick?" " Don't know, sir." " Can't you give me a clue?" "[door opens]" "Mr. Colville, Your Majesty." " You asked to see me, Your Majesty?" " Yes, Jock." "You were my Private Secretary for two years before Martin Charteris." "I was." "And it was my impression that we always had a good understanding and we were able to speak openly with one another." " Yes, of course." " And trust one another, speak plainly when matters of real importance came up." "And before Her Majesty says anything else, let me just say how sorry I am." "It's been agony." "I tried to stop them, I told them my opinion, but they were so insistent we keep it from you." "After the second one, I really was of a mind to let you know the truth." " Second what?" " Stroke, Ma'am." "But they insisted again, everyone keep it quiet, say nothing." "I see." "And who was it that was doing the insisting?" "Lord Salisbury, Ma'am." "And the Prime Minister himself." "On the rare occasions he was conscious." "I see." "That is what you asked me here to discuss?" "No." "I asked you here to discuss whether I should take Michael Adeane for my Private Secretary, rather than Martin Charteris." "But what you've just told me is far more important." " No." " Yes." "The slippery old so-and-so's." "It's rather worse than slippery, wouldn't you say?" "Somewhat unconstitutional." " What are you going to do?" " Nothing, of course." "That's my job." " Do nothing and stay silent at all times." " Is it?" "From memory, and forgive me, Ma'am, it's a while since I read Bagehot, but in circumstances such as these, is it not also your duty to act?" " I doubt it." "I'd have to check." " I think you know precisely." "Yes, it is." "But I can't just summon the brightest, most formidable men in the country and give them a dressing down, like children." "Why?" "You are in the right, they in the wrong." "Yes, but they're far more intelligent than I am." "Any confrontation, they'd out-debate me, out-think me and out-maneuver me." "But this isn't about education or intelligence." "This is about integrity and principle." "Ma'am, you say you don't have what it takes to do battle with these people." "You do." "You were drilled for years in the finer points of our Constitution." "You know it better than me, better than all of us." "You have the only education that matters." "So what would you have me do?" "Summon them and give them a good dressing down like children." "Why would they stand for that?" "Because they're English, male and upper class." "A good dressing down from Nanny is what they most want in life." " Unconventional to the end, Professor." " [bell rings]" "Thank you, Professor." "I'm afraid I urgently need something from Windsor Castle." "At least I think it's at Windsor." "It might be at Sandringham." "Or Balmoral." " Or it might be here." " Ma'am." "[rings bell]" "Lord Salisbury, please." "If you wouldn't mind, Prime Minister." "Ma'am." "It has come to my attention that for a period of time last week, my Prime Minister was incapacitated." "And the Foreign Secretary, too." "And that you colluded in keeping that information from me." " Your Maj..." " No, it is not my job to govern." "But it is my job to ensure proper governance." "But how can I do that if my ministers lie and plot and hide the truth from me?" "You have prevented me from doing my duty." "You have hampered and bamboozled the proper functioning of the Crown." "How could you?" "My own late father valued you greatly." "He believed the phrase, "History teaches, never trust a Cecil."" "Deeply unfair." "Perhaps not." "[rings bell]" "You may go." "Prime Minister." "Please." "The Prime Minister, Your Majesty." "Your Majesty." "Winston." "I am just a young woman, starting out in public service." "And I would never presume to give a man, so much my senior, and who has given this country so much, a lecture." "However... you were at my Coronation." "I was." "And you therefore heard for yourself as I took the solemn oath to govern the people of my realms according to their respective laws and customs." "Now, one of those customs is that their elected Prime Minister should be of reasonably sound body and mind." "Not an outrageous expectation, one would've thought." "No." "But it seems that you have not been of sound body and mind these past weeks." "And that you chose to withhold that information from me." "A decision which feels like a betrayal, not just of the covenant of trust between us and the institutions that we both represent, but of our own personal relationship." "In 1867, Walter Bagehot wrote:" ""There are two elements of the Constitution:" "the efficient and the dignified."" "The monarch is the dignified and the government, the efficient." "These two institutions only work when they support each other, when they trust one another." "Your actions, your breaking of that trust was irresponsible and it might have had serious ramifications for the security of this country." "Is your health better now?" " It is." " Good." "But is it sufficiently better?" "Fit for office better?" "I would ask you to consider your response in light of the respect that my rank and my office deserve, not that which my age and gender might suggest." "Ma'am..." "I look at you now and I realize that the time is fast approaching for me to step down." "Not because I am unwell or unfit for office, but because you are ready." "And therefore I have discharged my duty to your father." "With your blessing and your forgiveness," "I shall continue to serve as the leader of Your Majesty's government." "Your Majesty." "[Philip singing indistinctly]" "Hello?" "Hello." "Where have you been?" "Oh, charity cricket match for the National Playing Fields Association." "Spent some time at the airfield, doing some rolls." "No cabinet approval." "Don't tell anyone." "What are you dressed for?" "Haven't you heard?" "We've a State banquet this evening." "Haven't you heard?" "It's been cancelled." "Oh, Christ, why doesn't anybody tell me anything?" "Well, perhaps if you were here more." "I've read two books on Eisenhower especially." " Have you really?" " No." "You look nice." " Do I?" " Something's different." " What?" " I don't know." "You seem..." "I advise you to choose your next words very carefully." "Taller, somehow." "Or is it just that I've shrunk?" "There's nothing shrunken about you, dearest." "Where are you going?" "I've got an appointment with my new Private Secretary." " Oh, God." "Tell him to bugger off." " I can't do that." "And do what instead?" "Two options:" "either I get some stilts so I can reach the heights of my new, tall woman..." "Or?" "Or... she could get on her knees." "Major Adeane, Her Majesty requests that your appointment might wait." " I see." " Until tomorrow." "Right."