"[Leo]:" "I'm in a new place." "There's actually a kind of absolute purity, without scars or traces, where life begins to unfold." "If such a place exists, for me it is the park of my childhood." "In the park at noon, I saw her and wrote this down:" ""She stood in my mind, the colour of her skin was startling, nipples the colour of bare lips." "She was made of flesh and eyelashes."" "O.K., give me a cigarette." "Oh..." "O.K." "You know that if anybody was to walk by there, they'd see a naked woman being caressed by a naked man." "Then they would all need binoculars." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Would they become aroused?" "Why not?" "I know I am." "God..." "I couldn't even hypnotize you last night." "My lips were too sore from kissing." "Ah..." "Mine too." "You know, even with the window open, this room stinks of the bed!" "That's because we haven't been outside in 5 days." "Has it been that long?" "At least." "Are you cold?" "Not like this." "Are you hungry?" "Not for another anchovy!" "Anchovies are all we've got." "We shouldn't have bought such expensive stuff." "It doesn't quite go with the furnishings." "I could stay like this forever." "[Leo]:" "She used the word "forever", but I wanted nothing but the here and now, with no assurances but its own vivid intensity." "Hey..." "Don't freak out on me, O.K.?" "A kiss?" "Yeah." "[Leo]:" "For her, a kiss on the shoulder was reassurance." "For me, a kiss on naked flesh could only be a question." "From forever to the here and now." "I would use the old man to bring her back." "What's he doing?" "He's playing with a cat." "Oh!" "Hey!" "Hey you!" "Hey!" "Ah..." "Ah... anchovies." "Maybe we shouldn't have scared him off like that." "That guy was probably starving." "Ah, Leo, he was going to eat that thing?" "That's disgusting." "It's all relative." "You know, we haven't had much sleep in the last couple of days." "Why don't you try and get some?" "O.K. Just give me a kiss." "Go to sleep." "All right, I got one for you." "Why are brown bags full of white bread so ugly?" "I'm glad you asked, Krantz." "It's a kind of frailty for the human body." "If a junkie walked around with his syringe hanging out of his mouth, you'd feel the same disgust." "It's like a visible bowel." "Good Breavman, I thought you'd know the answer." "Oh, my!" "Tamara!" "Do you remember her?" "She went to school with us." "That's Tamara?" "Oh yeah!" "See, you don't recognize her because she was really fat back then." "You know, if I were at school with her right now I'd be hypnotizing her?" "Oh, don't tell me you've lost your magical powers!" "You know why I want her?" "I cannot imagine." "Hey... you're wrong Krantz." "It's because she lives 1 street away from me." "Wait a second, I thought you said you didn't know her?" "I don't, but she's mine... the same way this park is mine, and this bench is mine." "Very soon, I'll be in a room with her, me and her alone, surrounded by a room." "Hm..." "Good luck my friend." "I cannot follow you my love" "You cannot follow me" "I am the distance you put between All of the moments that we will be" "You know who I am You've stared at the sun" "Well I am the one who loves Changing from nothing to one" "Sometimes I need you naked" "Sometimes I need you wild" "I need you to carry my children in and" "I need you to kill a child" "You know who I am" "You've stared at the sun" "Well I am the one who loves Changing from nothing to one" "[Leo]:" "When I look back at my childhood, I try to rememberthe secrets." "How did it feel to know things I didn't have the words to say?" "And the greatest enigma...the girls who grew up to become the women I loved, how was it we were so connected, a complicity of pleasure, and now it all grows into words?" "What are you doing?" "Hey, Leo!" "What?" "What the hell are you doing?" "Excavation." "Autobiographical archaeology, my friend, a thread through the maze of life so I can retrace my steps." "Yeah, as if you know where you're going." "New York." "You're going to New York?" "No, we're going to New York." "Ha, ha, ha!" "What are you, high?" "I get lost enough with you here in Montreal, thank you very much, but you go ahead." "You go on your journey of self-discovery." "[Children singing in background, playing.]" "What's so interesting?" "He reminds me of myself as a kid, Krantz." "That's an omen for self-discovery." "No, I know him." "He's in my mom's summer camp." "He's a special kid." "Really?" "Yeah." "Do you like flowers, sir?" "I love flowers!" "I'm Leo." "I'm Martin and I like to count petals." "Oh, yeah?" "Ha, ha, ha..." "Martin, home now!" "Hi!" "Krantz, how are you?" "Good." "Enjoying the sunshine?" "That I am." "Regards to your mother, and tell her I'll be calling about the camp." "O.K. Come on!" "Uh..." "Bye!" "Bye!" "So long, Martin!" "So I guess this is it?" "You're leaving for New York?" "It's not forever." "Yeah, well, you want it to be over." "I never said that." "What if I went to New York then, with you?" "Listen, I need to do this by myself, so I can be free of things." "Well, then I can go to New York by myself to feel free of things just like you." "You couldn't stop me from doing that, could you?" "O.K. let's play a game." "O.K." "We accidentally meet in New York, then it's fate; if we don't, then..." "God!" "A trip like that could give me plenty of time to really hate you." "Leo the bastard." "Yeah." "Hm..." "And I love you." "[Leo]:" "And the city drew me back, as it always did, into my past." "[Telephone]:" "Hello?" "Krantz, I think I just saw Lisa!" "Stop shouting!" "Where are you?" "Oh, I'm off at Atwater, but it's about Lisa, I think I see Lisa!" "Lisa?" "Yeah." "I'm looking at her right now." "How does she look?" "Krantz, a blond open face with no family lines, so you could make anything you want of it." "Well, go get her!" "That's what I'm doing." "Lisa!" "Mr. Breavman, wow!" "What are you doing here?" "Ah, well I'm moving back with my husband." "What about you?" "I'm still here but I'm going to New York." "So what are you up to?" "Studying?" "No." "I'm just searching." "Hey, do you want to go for a drink?" "Oh, I can't." "I'm bringing some stuff to my uncle's and then I'm meeting Carl, and..." "oh, I'm already 1/2hr. late as it is." "How about tomorrow?" "Ah, geez Leo, I'd love to but..." "I'm back to Vancouver tomorrow, but I'm sure we'll see each other again soon." "Yeah, inevitably." "[Leo]:" "And Lisa the woman led me back to Lisa the child." "Dear Mrs. Kaplan," "I have to inform you that your illness is bigger than at first thought." "We have no choice but to do the operation." "Are you sure you can't do anything else?" "I don't like operations." "Surgeon Breavman, one of the top in our country, will be performing the operation." "Dr. Breavman, will it hurt?" "You don't have to worry Mrs. Kaplan." "You'll fall asleep." "It will be like a dream." "You won't feel anything." "The surgeon will now give you an injection." "Just on the bottom." "Please turn over and undress." "The rule was only on the bottom." "That was last time!" "Ugh!" "What's the matter with him?" "O.K., I'm getting dressed." "She's perfect, isn't she?" "What's so perfect about her?" "Everything!" "Didn't you see?" "[Leo]:" "And now we played the end game." "Winners and losers laying down their hands for the last time." "Tamara I enable you to ask the right questions." "What are you writing?" "It's for you." "Well I'm right here, Leo." "You can read it to me." "So my body leaves no scar on you, nor ever will." "It's a poem." "Oh, is it?" "Yeah." "Looks more like a kiss-off to me." "Where are you going?" "I'm going to go out for some air." "You know Leo, for such a tough stud you turn and you run pretty easily." "I wrote that for you Tamara." "It's..." "That's how I feel, and you're not interested?" "These are just words Leo; they're not feelings." "This is not real, it's..." "I'm real." "I love you, and that's real." "You're just living inside your head." "You can't..." "You cannot pretend that this didn't happen between us." "Mara, I never intended to be the one to hurt you." "Thank you." "That's really sweet of you, Leo." "Thank you so much." "Just get out." "Go." "God, what are you waiting for?" "This room is disgusting enough without you in it." "[Leo]:" "She was something distant." "Nothing to do with me." "Some girl in a far-off tragedy." "So the image of Tamara was overwhelmed by the enigma of my childhood, and again the mystery of the connection with the women I embraced." "As the mist leaves no scar" "On a dark green hill" "So my body leaves no scar" "On you and never will" "Through windows in the dark" "The children come" "The children go" "Like arrows with no targets" "Like shackles made of snow" "True love leaves no traces" "If you and I are one" "It's lost in our embraces" "Like stars against the sun" "[Leo]:" "I was in New York to find myself, but I met Shell instead." "When I first saw her," "I envisioned everything as the words filled me in that moment." "...remember that dream I told you about when we were at the restaurant the other day?" "Yes, I do." "Well, if I were you, I'd" "Excuse me." "Yes?" "I just wanted to say I think you're beautiful." "[Leo]:" "The promise, the conspiracy of desire in all its incarnations of sweat, taste and breath." "As a falling leaf may rest" "A moment on the air" "So your hair upon my breast" "So my hand upon your hair" "And many nights endure" "Without a moon" "Without a star" "So will we endure when one is gone and far" "True love leaves no traces" "If you and I are one" "It starts in our embraces like stars against the sun" "[Leo]:" "I was overwhelmed, my body some hollowed-out place, an imprint open and waiting for Shell... and I felt my whole being folded into this moment, as if a single, intense flare of desire could illuminate all the mysteries of my life." "And there she was, the incarnation of taste, sweat and breath." "Thank you." "[Leo]:" "Some women, like Shell, reinvent their beauty in every moment, changing even the air around them." "Come with me." "What's your name?" "Leo." "I'm Shell." "That's beautiful." "[Leo]:" "All light converges here." "Rules of illumination dissolve." "Shell inhabits her world with absolute grace." "Streets like these have layers of secrets." "It's always been just a street to me, but it's neat certainly, deserted at night like this." "I've got to get up there." "What are you doing!" "I've got to go!" "Whoo!" "Where are you going?" "There's something up here." "A lovely woman on a deserted street." "There it is!" "Get down." "You're scaring me." "You'll get vertigo." "Not a chance." "I always wanted to do this." "Then you should." "I can't do this." "Why?" "Well, there's things in life you just can't do." "Just do it." "Go." "O.K." "All the way to the top." "Oh, vertigo!" "Nope!" "Well..." "That's pretty good." "I didn't do anything." "Yes you did." "I didn't even go..." "But you did it, and that's something." "I have to go." "No." "No way, we have all night." "Let's wander the city and lose ourselves till daylight." "We can walk through the Village, watch the late-night bar stragglers, down to cab drivers arguing on Canal St. and then, finish the night off by drinking fragrant tea in Chinatown." "Sounds good, but I have to work." "So do the Chinese in Chinatown." "Ha, ha..." "I really should go." "I'll walk you." "But I live on 27th and 5th." "And that's at least..." "50 blocks?" "Uh-huh." "O.K. We'll catch a cab, and I'll drop you off at home." "I'm married, Leo." "No." "No, I don't think you are." "I won't ask you up." "That's O.K." "We'll run into each other in the next few days." "Oh, I don't think so." "I have to go to Montreal for work." "There's the sign." "A sign?" "Montreal." "That's my home town, and we have time." "Thanks for saying that." "I loved the walk." "So, you didn't come all the way from New York just to take me on a car ride." "What's up?" "I'm following a plan." "C'mon, you know I'm always moving on." "Yeah, it looks like you're getting interested in the old industrial neighbourhoods also." "Hell, why not?" "C'mon, whole lives have been spent here Krantz." "Doesn't it blow your mind to zap past buildings that have been here for 100 years?" "God bless modern engineering!" "I mean, the arrogance of tearing past mountains that took millenniums to wear down, or fields that took generations to clear." "What the hell are you talking about?" "That was then; this is now." "Suppose that we could spend the rest of our lives exactly as we are now, while alternatively getting laid by beautiful women under tropical skies but without the fuck-ups that could bring?" "Which would you choose, huh?" "Two more years of speed and music, women just a mental blur like the trailing moon, or 50 more years of discovery and loss?" "Why do you ask questions that you already know the answers to?" "Then let it stay as it is now." "No one waits for us." "No one misses us." "Let the moon hang fixed in the sky, let the trees never bloom, and let the monks chanting their 4 a.m. prayers stay on their knees forever." "Leo, I'm uh..." "I'm going to England to study." "Mom offered me a job at the camp to help pay for it, so..." "I guess this means we're not going to play anymore, eh?" "I knew something like this would happen eventually." "Yeah." "Man, I'm sorry." "We had to try to stop figuring each other out sooner or later, right?" "Yeah, I wanted to." "Leo..." "When you come to my territory, I should be your guide." "Well, you're not a man to miss his chance." "Hum, not chance." "Fate?" "What is fate?" "No explanation." "You're quite something, you know that?" "Do you want to come in for a minute?" "O.K. O.K." "Welcome to my world." "Hum, what a coincidence." "No, not a coincidence." "Like I said, only fate." "Or maybe just fatal..." "you hardly know me." "Yeah." "Yeah, but I feel like I do." "I'm a little strange, but not crazy." "There was this woman on the plane." "She was all excited about meeting her lover, and not at all concerned that she was cheating." "She was married?" "Yeah." "Like you?" "No." "Not like me." "But you said back in..." "I don't want to talk about it now." "[whispering]:" "I had a feeling it would happen like this." "Isn't it amazing when imagination and reality connect?" "A rare thing." "It's a pity." "[Leo]:" "The loveliness she composed seemed to rebel and escape her, incandescent with her flesh and desire." "You know you can't stay." "O.K." "I want to see you again." "There's something I need to do to free myself." "I understand." "Thank you." "[Leo]:" "This time I was hooked." "I had to follow her back to New York." ""When you call me close to tell me your body is not beautiful," "I want my body and hands to be pools for your looking and laughing."" "Oh, it's beautiful." "Good." "That's what I wanted." "It's for you." "No, that's not for me." "Yes it is, I wrote it for you." "No." "Poetry is for everybody." "It's meant to be read." "Sweet, industrious poet..." "I never thought of poetry as an industry." "It's just something you grab as it flies by." "Oh, I know people we can show this to, Leo!" "They're friends of ours!" "Well, they're friends of my husband and I." "Actually, they're just my friends, not my husband's." "What's the matter?" "I told him I wanted to divorce him." "Well you had to tell him sometime." "No, you don't understand." "I didn't have to tell him everything... not everything!" "I told him how good it is with you;" "I didn't have to tell him that." "I just wanted to hurt him so badly." "Do you still love him?" "Love him?" "I hate him." "Good." "Now you're completely mine." "One day you might hate me." "Never." "Leo, if it ever stops working for either of us, we mustn't lie about it, O.K.?" "I'd hope to have the courage to cut the cord." "[Leo]:" "And so we left everything behind us...the city streets, the noise, all attachments but ourselves." "I began to understand that there were 2 Shells: one daring and sure of herself;" "the other insecure, fearful." "She had a job as a graphic designer and loved literature." "She had never dared write anything on her own." "A big, white wedding at 19 to some intellectual journalist was a way to escape an over-sheltered childhood." "The journalist almost never touched her, and after 5 years of that, she really needed out." "From now on, she was the medium for everything, catalyst for my deepest feelings." "Is it possible for all this to stay forever?" "I mean, if we came back, would we see and hear everything in the exact same way?" "Well that depends on your perspective." "It depends on you, Leo." "No, there are other things too." "But it can also stay like this if we want it to, it's possible." "Possible..." "Possible." "That's a word always open to changes." "Ha, ha..." "The more I discover, the more I like you." "I'm touched." "I was living in denial being with someone, sharing nothing, expressing nothing." "In fact, I was completely alone, the sameness to everything." "I thought life was like that when you got old, but with you life is a roller coaster." "Don't you love that rush?" "And still be able to have moments of just complete stillness." "You know there's a word for this, but we won't say it." "It's our secret." "[Leo]:" "When she was a kid, Shell's ears were pierced with tiny gold earrings, and now she has a tiny scar on each ear." "On my right temple, I have a scar where Krantz whacked me with a shovel." "A difference of opinion over the construction of a snowman." "Krantz wanted to use Oreo cookies for the eyes, and I was and still am against the use of foreign objects in the decoration of snowmen." "Children show scars like medals." "Lovers use them for secret revelations." "A scar is what happens when a word is made flesh." "A scar is like a gateway to our pasts, a trace that asks:" "What happened here?" "What is this an imprint of?" "And so it was I crossed another threshold with Shell, one that led to my childhood." "What are you doing?" "Come here." "Let's just look at ourselves." "We don't need to see ourselves;" "we need to feel ourselves." "My mother had this obsession with mirrors when I was a kid." "She imagined her whole body as a scar grown over some earlier perfection." "She'd spend hours hunting down wrinkles." "This is not my face, not my real face." "Where's your real face, Mother?" "Leo, look at me." "Do I really look like this?" "Where is it?" "Where's your real face?" "I don't know." "In Russia, when I was a girl." "[Leo]:" "What did my real mother look like, I wondered." "She was always busy, my mother." "Always in flight, always alone trying to figure out who she really was." "Ah..." "Do you think your mother felt yourfather loved her?" "Who knows?" "My father was just someone to hang out with, without ever really meeting anybody." "Are you ticklish?" "No." "Yes you are!" "You are ticklish!" "No!" "Ha, ha, ha!" "[Leo]:" "Not quite true." "Sure, my father was absent even when he was around, a sick man with nowhere to rest." "Come Nelly, bring the vegetables." "[Leo]:" "But then..." "Come Leo, sit at the table." "Leo]:...when I was 10, one of my cousins from Pittsburgh came to prep school in Montreal and stayed with us." "She was my goddess." "A nice piece of white meat, no skin." "Exactly what the doctor ordered." "Nelly, you serve Mr. Breavman his cauliflower and his potatoes." "Thank you." "Everyone enjoy the meal." "[radio]:" "How lucky can you get" "How lucky that we met when it came true" "That means you too, Leo." "I'm talking to you, Leo." "Your father is talking to you, Leo Breavman." "Lost again in that stupid head of his!" "Stand up!" "Ha, ha, ha!" "I'm not kidding." "So are you still dreaming of being a hypnotist?" "I am a hypnotist." "I can make things happen." "Ha, ha, ha!" "You have a colourful imagination." "I will grant you that." "Careful, I might hypnotize you." "It's too late." "Yeah?" "Yes." "Hey." "How many guys know about these tiny scars?" "Not as many as you think." "No, no, I'm not talking about the 2 or 200 that kissed you there." "I'm talking about in your fantasies." "How many tongues have caressed you in their possible ways?" "Are you trying to ruin this somehow?" "Let's get back to your game." "What was your favourite game?" "[Leo]:" "And there it was..." "the question." "All this just a cover for a deeper truth." "Yeah, that's why I want to hear it all." "Hum...." "[Leo]:" "And because she had asked me the question, the thing I needed to know but didn't," "I told her another story instead." "Like this is going to work?" "You're going to try to convince me" "I actually like going to my stupid private school?" "When I think of all those cute public school boys?" "Is that all you think about?" "No, silly." "So think about this." "Your eyelids are as heavy as lead." "Breathe slowly and regularly." "You're falling backwards." "Your body is falling backwards, getting smaller and smaller." "You can hear nothing but my voice." "You are asleep." "Are you asleep?" "Yes." "You feel nothing, absolutely nothing." "Do you understand?" "Yes." "You're hot." "You've never been so hot." "Your sweater weighs a ton." "You're sweating like a pig." "It's morning." "You have to get up now." "Nothing happened." "You will remember nothing." "Maybe Nelly was never really hypnotized, but that day, I felt like I really became a man." "Hey, why?" "It's just strange, like...that night" "I remember I was reading the animal/ plant books that my father gave me." "I sneaked into my parents' room." "They were sleeping in separate beds." "There was a moon, and they were both facing the ceiling, lying in the same position, but I knew if I shouted only one of them would wake up." "It didn't work?" "No." "I got an idea." "[yawn]" "Watch this." "You're going to be impressed." "Hey, what does it matter where the bed is, as long as it's a bed?" "Well O.K., then I'll move it myself." "Ah... don't be silly, Shell." "We're going to be out of here first thing in the morning." "Yes, but we'll see the trees when we wake up." "I don't want to see the trees when I wake up." "I want to see the peeling wallpaper, like everybody who slept here before." "They didn't need to move the bed." "Precisely." "Uh!" "Hm, c'mon." "Ha, ha, ha!" "C'mon, over there." "Wait!" "I have to make the bed." "The bed is already made." "Switch things around, or we won't see anything." "Are you doing this deliberately?" "Leo, this is our room for tonight." "Give me 5 min." "O.K.?" "C'mon!" "There we go." "Look at that sink, all those cracks in it." "We could pry up a couple of floor boards and hide it under the carpet." "Uh-huh, if you help me." "Come." "Should I turn off the light?" "Yes." "Now the room looks the same for the both of us." "I know you would have liked it dirtier, maybe even some roaches in the sink." "You never get to see them if you leave the lights on." "But when it's off you can't see them anyway." "But it's the time between that counts." "You come home late at night and you turn on the kitchen light and the sink is swarming black, but they disappear in seconds, and they leave the porcelain whiter than you could imagine." "I know you think I can't possibly know what you mean, but I do." "You want to live in a world where the light has just been switched on everything vivid and intense, leaping from black to brightness ...everything is just there." "That's O.K. Leo, but you can't live like that all the time." "I know you hate me for having changed the room because that means I compromised, and everything is not just there anymore, and you think that had you been alone, you wouldn't have lost that vividness." "Do you want to be alone Leo?" "[Leo]:" "It was as if Shell had held up a mirror for me to see that this was not me, Leo, asking the questions." "It was Leo the child who needed to know the favourite game." "My darling Shell, there is someone lost in me." "I will find him for you." "I'm going to take us to the top of the mountain." "But it's nearly dark." "Closer to moon rays." "You're not hungry?" "No." "Are you?" "Yeah, I'm starving." "I told you a while back." "Well grab an apple from the back." "No, Leo, please..." "no more games." "We've been driving 4 hours non-stop." "Yeah, and we've had a lot of fun, Shell." "C'mon!" "You were fine a few hours ago." "I know, but now I need a break." "Well then, close your eyes and relax." "I'm taking us somewhere." "Let's come back tomorrow?" "Shell, c'mon!" "These are new horizons, a wild mountain at night!" "Yes, and we need to get some gas before everything closes up." "You want a dangerous thrill." "You know, Leo, I think you're trying to change me." "You like me, but you object to my upbringing, and now you're pushing the envelope to see how I'll react." "No." "I just want it to be different...for the both of us." "Like being trapped in a car, all alone in the woods?" "That's original, Leo, but really it doesn't change anything." "We're still the same people." "But it's a different experience, Shell." "No, Leo." "Been there." "Done that." "I was trapped in the woods for 36 hours with a friend of my father's and we got caught in a big storm, and we made love in a downpour, and it was wonderful, and I never talked about it till now." "See, you did it again." "You won." "What does that mean?" "You got something secret out of me." "What is it?" "Nothing... [thunder rumbling]" "I love you." "[Leo]:" "I knew if I didn't leave soon, I never would, and something would be lost forever." "Morning." "Hi." "Boy, you haven't slept at all, have you?" "No." "Come here." "Tell me." "I think I should go to Montreal for a while." "You're leaving?" "I'll be back." "I phoned Krantz, and he offered me this job working with some kids." "A job with kids?" "Yeah, summer camp." "And then back to New York?" "Yeah, of course." "Of course." "And who by fire" "Who by water" "Who in the sunshine Who in the night time" "Who by high ordeal" "Who by common trial" "Who in your merry merry month of May" "Who by very slow decay" "And who shall I say is calling" "Who in her lonely slip Who by barbiturate" "Who in these realms of love Who by something blunt" "Who by avalanche Who by powder" "Who for his greed Who for his hunger" "And who shall I say is calling" "And who by brave assent" "Who by accident" "Who in solitude" "Who in this mirror" "Who by his latest command who by his own hand" "Who in mortal chains Who in power" "And who shall I say is calling" "All right guys, I just wanted to make sure that you were aware of the schedules that I put in those little booklets of yours." "Now, this is really important, all right, because the parents have copies of these schedules as well." "So please..." "I can't emphasize this enough..." "but just follow them carefully, O.K.?" "Now, uh, we're each going to have 8 kids at all times." "This is your group." "You're responsible for their participation in outdoor activities, and also, it's not such an easy task, but getting them up in the morning, getting them ready." "Any questions so far?" "All right, well good luck." "You guys start moving that stuff inside." "I'm going to take care of this guy." "Oh, Krantz!" "Uh... geez!" "Hey!" "You're late, man." "It was a long ride, Krantz." "Yeah, I don't care." "What can I do?" "Start by helping us move that stuff inside." "Whew..." "O.K." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Remember me?" "I'm Martin Stark." "Capital S, small t, small a, small r, small k." "No e." "Sometimes I spell it with an e and then I have to tear up the page and begin again." "I remember you, Martin." "I'm Leo Breavman." "Capital B, small r, small e, small" "Small a, small v, small m, small a, small n." "Nice!" "I am going to be... your counsellor for the summer." "What do you think of that?" "Uh..." "What's your favourite store?" "What's yours?" "Holt Renfrew." "What's your favourite parking lot?" "I don't know." "What's yours?" "Holt Renfrew." "How many windows are in the Holt Renfrew building?" "Well Martin, I don't know." "How many?" "In all the walls?" "Yes, of course in all the walls." "What's the point in knowing the windows in just 1 wall, or just 3 walls?" "122." "Hey Martin, hey..." "Do you like the countryside?" "Only after I investigate it." "Let's go and investigate it." "C'mon!" "All right, let's go!" "My group follow me!" "[Whispering]:" "Krantz, I brought a bottle of cognac." "[Whispering]:" "Are you crazy?" "Have some respect for the people sleeping." "[Whispering]:" "C'mon, Krantz!" "[Whispering]:" "Breavman, go to sleep." "[Children giggling in their beds and whispering.]" "Hey, where'd you come from?" "Hey, Breavman, you're supposed to integrate the kid into the group." "Come here, Martin." "Good morning to you too, Krantz." "[Leo]:" "Martin was that rare creature, a blissful mad child." "His rituals resonated with my past games and secret powers." "246..." "O.K., times... 759!" "Go!" "You can do it!" "You're really smart!" "You're really good Martin." "We know you can do it, Martin!" "You can do it!" "Go, go!" "186,714." "He's right!" "Ya!" "Ya!" "That's great, Martin." "O.K., let's have a game of tag." "I'm it!" "You go get me something to measure the square of 5 metres by 5 metres, which is the size of my grandmother's apartment?" "O.K. Martin." "I'll be right back." "What did I tell you?" "All the kids have to follow the schedule." "Yeah, well he's not a normal boy, Krantz." "He's a very special human being, and that's important to me." "Yeah, well that's very compassionate, Breavman, but it's really none of your business is it?" "[Telephone]:" "Leo?" "God, I was really in a deep sleep." "I just wanted to hear your voice." "Where are you?" "Canadian boonies." "How are you?" "Sometimes it's hard, Leo." "Sometimes I just need someone to hold me." "Just someone?" "Well, I guess you would do, ha, ha..." "Maybe I just need to get laid." "See who's the romantic, Leo?" "You need to hear my voice, and I need to get laid." "Listen Shell, I'm coming to New York." "You're quitting the camp?" "Yeah." "There's nothing here for me." "You're coming?" "You promise?" "Yeah, I promise." "I'll see you soon." "O.K." "You know we can't find a replacement at this point in the season." "Well then you're going to have to let me handle him in my own way." "I enjoy his madness, Krantz." "He enjoys his madness." "He's a free person, maybe the 1st one I ever met, and that's very important to me." "That's total nonsense." "Maybe..." "You made a mistake coming here, didn't you, Breavman?" "You made a mistake asking me, didn't you, Krantz?" "I guess we both thought that we could pick up where we left off." "Yeah, well..." "At least we know it's over now." "It's a job." "You know?" "Work?" "There's fun, and then there's work." "And now I've got to be serious." "All right!" "Who's up for a really serious game of hide-and-go-seek?" "Yeah!" "All right!" "We'll get back to the camp and we'll dump out this knapsack full of stuff that we've found, sort through it all, and then we'll go for a swim!" "That will be nice." "Ouch!" "I've been bitten more times by things in this..." "What are you doing?" "Counting." "Oh yeah?" "Want a box to put those in?" "That would be helpful." "O.K. Here's a little help." "Thanks." "Hey, guys!" "Let's gather around here and talk about the tree that never loses its leaves!" "Martin, don't wander off buddy." "Come stay with the group." "This, my fine furry friends, is the spruce tree." "Spruce trees never, ever lose their leaves." "They have them all year round, they're from the evergreen family, like pine trees." "Pine trees are used for Christmas trees." "So let's try a little something." "Close your eyes and think about the type of Christmas tree that we all just had at home, O.K.?" "Martin, c'mon over here, buddy!" "Come and join us!" "Don't wander off!" "Keep your eyes closed, thinking about the pine trees." "Hey, look at this one over here, guys." "C'mon over this way." "It smells so good!" "Yeah, they're lovely." "They're great!" "Yeah, I've changed my mind." "I'm sorry, Shell." "[Telephone]:" "You promised." "I know I promised, but I can't." "Why?" "Because..." "Tell me why." "I can't explain it." "I just know that I have to stay here for a while." "I miss you." "It's hard." "I know." "I know it's hard." "It's hard for me too, but at least I get to hear your voice." "Yeah... yeah." "All right, uh..." "I have to go, but I'm going to call you as soon as I can." "When?" "I don't know." "Soon." "I love you." "I love you too." "O.K. bye." "Yeah." "[Sounds of bulldozers, construction site in the background]" "Hope everybody likes their hot-dogs well-done." "Yeah, I heard that!" "Ah, they're burnt!" "I really like them burnt." "Hey!" "Hey, hey!" "No hot-dog for you!" "Good job!" "See, you're going to get that one there!" "[Children laughing and cheering] Have you seen Martin?" "Yo, Breavman!" "Where are you going?" "I'm just going to go and find Martin." "All right." "Martin!" "Martin!" "C'mon buddy, I know your secret hiding spot." "O.K. I'll tell you what, I will stay up with you tonight and we'll count the needles till at least 6,000." "What do you say?" "Martin?" "Martin!" "Martin!" "[Leo]:" "Dear Shell, it will take me a little while to tell you." "It is the middle of the night, and you're sleeping." "I know exactly how your body looks." "Lying on your side, knees bent, and your hair like calligraphy, one hand cupped beside your mouth, and the other arm hung over the edge of the bed." "I can be peaceful because I know what I want to say." "I am afraid of loneliness." "Just visit a mental hospital or a factory, sit in a bus or a cafeteria." "Everywhere people are living in utter loneliness as their bodies slowly fail them." "I want to take your hand to protect me from this lingering carnage." "I wish you were beside me now." "I saw a dead child, and learned nothing." "When you read this letter, you will see that that uncomfortable world has been irrevocably destroyed." "I'm not a good lover, or I'd be with you now;" "I'd be beside you, not writing this the lover-in-waiting." "Dear Shell if you let me," "I'd always keep you 400 miles away and write you poems." "I'm afraid to live anywhere but in expectation." "I don't want to see you or hear from you again." "I want no attachments." "I want to begin again." "I think I love you, but I need the idea of a blank page more." "I must end this letter now because I feel like flying down and falling into bed beside you." "Please don't phone or write." "Something wants to begin in me." "Four o'clock in the afternoon" "And I didn't feel like very much" "I said to myself Where are you golden boy" "Where is your famous golden touch" "I thought you knew where all of the elephants lie down" "I thought you were the crown prince" "Of all the wheels in Ivory Town" "Just take a look at your body now" "There's nothing much to save" "And a bitter voice in the mirror cries" "Hey Prince you need a shave" "Now if you can manage to get your trembling fingers to behave" "Why don't you try unwrapping a stainless steel razor blade" "That's right it's come to this" "Yes it's come to this" "And wasn't it a long way down" "Wasn't it a strange way down" "There's no hot water and the cold is running thin" "Well what do you expect from the kind of places" "You've been living in" "Don't drink from that cup" "It's all caked and cracked along the rim" "That's not the electric light my friend" "That is your vision growing dim" "Cover up your face with soap" "There now you're Santa Claus" "Shell!" "And you've got a gift" "For anyone who will give you his applause" "I thought you were a racing man" "Ah but you couldn't take the pace" "That's a funeral in a mirror" "How may I direct your call?" "It's a collect call, please." "Could you tell me under what name please?" "Leo." "Thank you." "[Shell]:" "Hello?" "[Operator]:" "I have a collect call from Leo." "Do you accept the charges Madam?" "Yes." "[Operator]:" "Go ahead please." "Shell!" "I was going to say no." "Marry me." "That's what I want." "Leo, you can't treat people this way." "Did you hear what I said?" "I said I want to marry you." "I haven't heard from you in weeks, Leo!" "I know, and I'm sorry." "I will explain everything, I promise." "No." "You don't need to." "I've read your letter." "No, no!" "No, Shell, never mind the letter!" "Oh God!" "I know I hurt you." "I'm sorry." "I want to go back to bed." "I'm not feeling well." "No, don't hang up." "I love you, Shell." "I really do." "Please go away!" "I can't be what you need!" "Yes you can." "You already are." "Nobody can be what you need, Leo." "This is crazy, Shell, talking this way." "There's 400 miles between us." "I'm going to come to New York." "No!" "I don't want you to." "No, Shell, I have to." "No, Leo, please!" "I can't see you!" "What are you saying?" "I'm saying please don't come." "It's better this way." "No." "No, Shell." "I'm going to come to New York, and we're going to talk, and everything is going to be all right." "I promise, you'll see." "[Shell begins to cry.]" "I don't believe you..." "I'm hanging up now." "Shell..." "Good-bye, Leo." "Once there was a past and a girl with chestnut hair" "And you passed the summers" "Picking all of the berries that grew there" "There were times she was a woman" "Oh there were times She was just a child" "And you held her in the shadows" "Where the raspberries grow wild" "And you climbed the twilight mountain" "And you sang about the view" "And everywhere you wandered" "Love seemed to go along with you" "That's a hard one to remember" "Yes it makes you clench your fist" "And then the veins stand out like highways" "All along your wrist" "And yes it's come to this" "It's come to this" "And wasn't it a long way down" "Wasn't it a strange way down" "You could still find a job..." "[Leo]:" "By the following spring," "Shell's publishing firm printed my work and made me a living, breathing poet." "I have been dumped into success the same way parents dump their child in school for the first time, resistant and resentful." "All that was necessary to be universally loved was to publish one's anxieties." "Art is a calculated display of suffering." "I became a poetic Prozac for unhappy women." "Hey, Leo!" "It's been a while." "Lisa!" "God, you look great." "Oh, thank you, Leo, and you've become famous." "Hardly famous, but uh..." "it's okay." "I just saw you interviewed on TV last night." "Yeah." "All part of the business, the media junkets for media junkies." "You know the game." "Everybody says you're very... clever." "Everybody loves you when you're..." "Exactly." "How are the kids and uh..." "Carl." "Carl!" "Carl is in Toronto with my father." "They're opening up a new restaurant." "Nice." "Uh-huh." "Ah, yeah." "Ha, ha!" "Ah, would you like to sign mine?" "Do you everthink about us as kids?" "Ah, yes, but it's surprising how much I seem to forget." "There's just not time for it." "So you remember me as a child?" "Of course." "And?" "..." "Well, you were like any other 10-year-old I suppose." "I don't know Leo." "What, is this annoying you?" "You were a nice boy!" "Do you remember playing doctor?" "What?" "In the garage." "Oh, now you're getting silly." "I wish you would." "Why?" "I mean, sometimes remembering too much can block the present." "If you remembered what I remember, you'd be in bed with me right now." "Uh..." "You should come over and visit Carl and the children." "Carl reads a lot; you'd enjoy talking to him." "I need to sleep with you, Lisa." "It's as simple as that." "Well, it's not for me." "Why?" "..." "Why do you want to sleep with me?" "Because we held hands once." "And that's your reason?" "Yeah." "I think human beings should be grateful to be connected in any way at all, even if just by standing together in the same room." "Yes, but Leo you can't be connected to everyone, and it doesn't mean anything." "It does to me." "Let's get out of here." "Leo!" "There you are!" "Please, come over..." "I'd like you to meet the people from CBC's Good Morning Show." "You go ahead." "I should go." "I have an early flight to Toronto." "I'll walk you." "No, I'll take a taxi, but thanks Leo." "You have things to take care of here." "Come visit some time." "I will." "Leo?" "Hi!" "[Leo]:" "Condemn me to some dark prison if my true love loves another, when I know she should be mine." "[phone ringing]" "[phone ringing]" "Hello." "Hello, Leo." "Lisa..." "I didn't think you'd be asleep." "I'm not, but you should be." "I need to see you." "Do you want to come over?" "I'm already here." "Okay." "My husband wasn't in Toronto opening up a restaurant." "He was there with another woman." "Geez..." "I'll spare you the details." "I'm so sorry, Lisa." "No, it's okay." "When I heard about your book launch," "I decided to come down." "I don't know why." "I'm glad you did." "Strange thing is... you're the only person I wanted to see." "I'm a little ticklish." "Ha, ha..." "This isn't going to hurt, is it, Dr. Breavman?" "The rule is one shot in the bum." "Hm..." "I'll make an exception... just this once." "[Leo]:" "I could offer her my company and friendship as solace, or we could head for the sack straight off." "There was no third way." "And I didn't sleep with Lisa the child." "I didn't build a mysterious garage above her naked form." "This peaceful woman with breasts and lingerie and martinis wasn't Lisa the child." "Lisa the child had evaded me and was still perfect, suddenly making all other women less perfect." "They were still beautiful, but somehow less crucial." "What a relief." "Listen, Leo, uh, I'm feeling a little awkward here." "I..." "Don't do that to yourself." "Two children went back and shared a secret in the middle of the night, that's all." "Thanks." "I, uh..." "I should get going." "Okay." "[Whispering]:" "You've really made a life for yourself, Leo." "[Leo]:" "We let each other go free." "She had her revenge through me because..." "I was a secret - not a part of her life, but not exactly a stranger, like meeting somebody from your home town in a foreign land." "Lisa the child, that perfection remained, preserving the past." "Everything could be preserved forever, like my connection to Shell, and in that moment, I remembered." "My darling Shell, here's the answer to your question:" "After a snowfall, we would go to the park." "Lisa was the spinner." "She would take our hands and turn on her heels, spinning around in circles until our feet left the ground, and then she'd let go." "I remember flying over the snow and landing." "And then I carefully stood up to look behind me at a perfect imprint, both human and angelic, in the perfect whiteness behind me, and that, that was the favourite game." "The ponies run" "The girls are young" "The odds are there to beat" "You win a while" "And then it's done" "Your little winning streak" "And summoned now to deal" "With your invincible defeat" "You live your life as if it's real" "A thousand kisses deep" "I'm turning tricks" "I'm getting fixed" "I'm back on Boogie Street" "You lose your grip" "And then you slip" "Into the masterpiece" "And maybe I had miles to drive" "And promises to keep" "You ditch it all to stay alive" "A thousand kisses deep" "Captioning DVD:" "CNST, Montreal" "And sometimes when the night is slow" "The wretched and the meek" "We gather up" "Our hearts and go" "A thousand kisses deep" "Confined to sex" "We pressed against" "The limits of the sea" "I saw there were" "No oceans left" "For scavengers like me" "I made it to the forward deck" "I blessed our remnant fleet" "And then consented" "To be wrecked" "A thousand kisses deep" "I'm turning tricks" "I'm getting fixed" "I'm back on Boogie Street"