"GATE CREAKS" "STATUE SHIFTS" "DOORBELL RINGS" "Hey, you can't hide from me forever!" "Speak to me!" "Right now!" "Unfortunately, that is the end of the series, but..." " It's time now to go on holiday!" " Yay, road trip!" " See you soon." " Bye!" "Friday Download." "This house is not gonna be yours for much longer." "STATUE SHIFTS" "Oh!" "It's a rabbit!" "I'll just sign a few, if that's alright." "I will get to all of you if I can." "Who do you want it to?" "SCREAMING" "Hold it!" " How many of these have you got now?" " 3,712." " Well let's make it 3,713." " Yes!" " Marcus!" " Come on, Marcus!" "Oh it's, right... for, yeah." "Okay, 1, 2, 3..." "There it is." " Have a great trip!" " CHEERING" "Ta-da!" "I borrowed it from my brother-in-law." "Cool." "After you." "Road trip!" "Oh, what was that?" "I think it's moving." "Yes!" "BICYCLE BELL RINGS" "BICYCLE BELL RINGS" "Do you not wanna pick it up a bit?" "Di!" "Whoa!" "Oh, thanks Bobby." "Uh, these are mine." "SHANNON:" "George, what is this, a campsite or a graveyard?" "GEORGE:" "It's both." "I was in bed and the house was completely empty." "But I could feel this... this tickling feeling down the side of my face." "So I sat up, and I looked at my pillow" "And I screamed." "There it was... my hair extension." "Oh, Dionne, we're supposed to be telling scary stories." "That is a scary story!" "Do you have any idea how much those extensions cost?" "Anyway, I got a story." " Is it about your dog?" " No." " Are you sure?" " It's not about Cujo." "Cos I think I speak for everyone when I say" " nobody wants to hear another story about your dog." " Mhmm." " It's definitely not about my dog." " Right, go on then." "Thank you." "Well, it is actually about Cujo, but..." "He's gorgeous, what am I supposed to do?" "This is shaping up to be the worst holiday ever." "Do you know what, I've got a story." "It's quite a scary story." " And I've never told anyone." " Why not?" "No-one was interested." " Well, I won't tell it then." " No, no, no, tell us!" " Has it got a dog in it?" " Bobby..." "It was a night... very much like this one." "What, a Thursday?" " Dark." " All nights are dark, aren't they?" "Yes, George." "And rainy." "And thundery." "THUNDER" "Ah!" "My Uncle Pete bought a house, right out in the countryside." "His mate told him never to go in the garden at night." "But this night, he was sitting in the kitchen and all he could hear is a crying sound coming from the garden." "It sounded like a little girl." "He couldn't see anything, right." "But then, there was a flash of lightning." "THUNDER" " He goes into the garden..." " Why would he go into the garden?" "!" " Like, why can't people follow simple instructions?" " Bobby, sit." "Stay." "So, he goes into the garden and he thinks "I can't leave this girl out here, crying."" "Please, sell me the ground I stand on." "Please." "Pete goes to bed, but he can hear her crying in the garden, all night." "GIRL CRIES" "And then, it got to the point where Pete couldn't take it anymore." "And he went outside." "Again." "Sell me the ground I stand on" " and I will leave you alone forever." " Fine." "I'll sell you the tiny patch of land that your feet are on and nothing more for one penny." "I really don't understand property prices." "I'm just saying, it seems a bit cheap to me." "GIRL:" "One penny." "This is mine now." " Then what?" " What do you mean "then what"?" " What happened next?" " Pete left the cottage and never came back." "And then what?" "I think he got a job in a reception and bar in a hotel in Cardiff." " And then what?" " I don't get it, so what happened?" "He got a job in a hotel bar and reception in Cardiff." " No, I mean what happened to Pete?" " So, the little girl was dead and because she owned the place she was haunting, that became dead, too." " What d'you mean?" " I don't really know." "My mate's into it all, you know, ghosts and stuff." "But ghosts haunt places, they never own them, and they never should." "Because if they own the place that they're haunting, that becomes dead too." "Listen, there's no such thing as ghosts." "THUNDER" "HOWLING" "Is that a dog?" "KNOCK AT DOOR" "SHANNON:" "Can you see someone?" "Over there." " Where?" " There!" "Yeah, there's definitely somebody there." "SCREAMING" "Hello!" "I'd just like to welcome you all to Sunday Meadows." "DEMONIC VOICE:" "It's good that they're here, it's good!" "NORMAL VOICE:" "There's plenty to amuse you." "There is an owl sanctuary." "DEMONIC VOICE:" "Tell them about the owl sanctuary!" "NORMAL VOICE:" "I did." "You'll find that... moderately interesting." "DEMONIC VOICE:" "Twit-twoo!" "What's in the bag?" "NORMAL VOICE:" "No concern of yours." " DEMONIC VOICE:" "Don't tell them!" " NORMAL VOICE:" "I didn't." "DEMONIC VOICE:" "Bury it!" "If you'll excuse me, this must be buried." "I don't wanna stay here any more." "What, why not?" " It's scary!" " Well, what's scary about it?" " It's in the middle of nowhere..." " ...in a graveyard." "Alright, let's get out of here." "I know where we can go." "Take a look at this." "The Aphrodite spa hotel." "Luxury facials hot tubs, juice bar six swimming pools..." " ...and this hot guy." " GEORGE:" "Uh, hang on." "We all agreed that I could choose the holiday and nobody said there had to be" " a "hot guy" factor." " Well, that was before we realised you chose the damp part of a graveyard." "Right, who wants to go to The Aphrodite?" " Why you putting your hand up?" " Because it's horrible here." "SHANNON:" "The Aphrodite, here we come!" "EVERYONE CHEERS" "EVERYONE CHEERS" "Right, the Friday Download summer vacation take two, and this time it's gonna be epic." " Come on!" " Let's do this!" "Finally." "SATNAV:" "Follow the road until further notice." "When possible, make a U-turn." "What?" "I've been driving straight for about a half hour." "SATNAV:" "Traffic incident ahead." "When possible, make a U-turn." "Traffic incident?" "I don't know why you guys still rely on SatNavs." "I like maps." "Now if I am correct..." "Aha!" "Just about here." " The Eiffel Tower?" " Bobby, this is a map of Paris." "Ah, Paree!" "City of romance." "SATNAV:" "You still haven't made a U-turn." "Guys, I'm just gonna keep driving straight, alright?" "Yeah, just keep doing that, Rich." "SATNAV:" "Turn the van around." "DEMONIC VOICE:" "Do it now!" "I think she means it!" "I'm telling you, just another 20 minutes and we're gonna be at the Palace of Versailles." "Right, that's it, I am checking Google Maps." "No signal?" "We should be there by now." "SATNAV:" "You have reached your destination." "Yay!" "Clearly not." "Whoa..." "Oh come on, let's keep going." "I can't drive in this, I can't see." "GEORGE:" "Ah, I have got an idea." " What's that?" " It's a million candle torch." " A million candle torch?" " Yeah." "Actually, I've adapted it." "See, a million and one candles." "Boom." "I tell you what I'll get out and stand in front of the van." "You can drive and follow me and I'll use the million and one candles to guide us out of the fog." "Simples." " You're going out there?" " Yeah." " But it's..." " It's what?" " Scary!" "No it's not, it's fog!" "Brave man." "Budge up, Dionne." "THEY SCREAM" "George!" "Burnt my chin on the candle!" " What?" " I said I burnt my chin on the candle!" "DIONNE:" "This is creepy..." "You do say." "I'll put some music on, hmm?" "MUSIC: 'Toccata and Fugue in D minor' by Johann Sebastian Bach" "Oh, sorry, sorry." "Halloween playlist." "Where's George?" "Oh, there he is." "George, I can't see ya." " SHANNON:" "Why's he walking so fast?" " RICHARD:" "I dunno, what's he doing?" "George, I can't see you, mate." "Ah!" "A million and one candles in my eyes!" "George, stop!" "Is that George?" "RICHARD:" "Is everyone alright?" "BOBBY:" "I think so." "Aww, my crisps!" "Guys, I think I've broken something." "Okay, calm down, Dionne." "Just don't move." "I'm a first-aider, what do you think you've broken?" "My hair straighteners!" "KNOCK AT DOOR" "I suppose I'll get that." "SCREAMING" " Ah, it's you." " What are you doing?" "You just drove off." "I didn't drive off, I was following you!" "I was going for a wee behind a bush." "Why would you bother going behind a bush?" "We couldn't see you in the fog, anyway." "Well it's only polite, isn't it?" "I mean, you don't go weeing not behind bushes." "Wait, what do you mean we weren't following you?" "You lead us into a ditch, George." "No, I put my torch down and went behind the bush." "Turned around, torch had gone, you'd driven off." "Why didn't you run after us?" "I'd already started weeing and you can't stop once you've started, it's impossible." "He's right, it's impossible." " Thank you." " Wait, who were we following then?" "Well, I didn't see anyone." "I just saw you crash." "We can't do nothing now, so we might as well get out." "Oh!" "Watch it, there's a bit of a drop, there." "You're just clumsy, Rich, I'm pretty sure the rest of us..." "Ugh!" "Oh, no he's right, there is a bit of a drop." "So how long 'til we get to the Aphrodite?" " Let me help you down." " Bobby..." " ...what are you doing?" " Right, first thing's first, has anyone got any signal?" "Um... no." " No." " No, me neither." " Nope." " Oh, I do!" "But no battery." "Look, we need to find help." "Huh, what about over there?" "Right, good, let's go." " GEORGE:" "Shouldn't we close the doors?" " BOBBY:" "Nah." "Wait, wait, wait, why am I at the front?" "I don't wanna be at the front." " Well, go to the back then." " I don't wanna be at the back either." "Oi, I'm at the back!" "I mean, what's wrong with the back?" " Nothing's wrong with the back, Bobby." " Then why don't you wanna be there?" "Look if you don't wanna be at the back, go to the front." "But she doesn't wanna be at the front either, I mean, what do you know?" "Look, who wants to go to the front?" "Rock, paper, scissors?" "Rock, paper, scissors." "Go again." "Rock, paper..." "Oh do you know what, this is stupid, why don't we all just go in the middle?" " Okay." " Yeah, okay." "Right, who's gonna get the gate?" "Right, I thought it'd be me." "Stupid..." "GATE CREAKS" "This is the weirdest holiday I've ever been on." "I tell a lie, I once went to Tenby with Uncle Bernard." "I still can't look a goose in the eye." "Is that bunny looking at me?" " I don't know, but he's cute!" " Cute?" "Where's the..." "ah, shall I ring the doorbell?" "What else would you do with it?" "Good point." "DOORBELL RINGS" " GEORGE:" "Dunno if there's anyone... oh, hang on." " DIONNE:" "Up there." "BOBBY:" "I think they're coming down" " GEORGE:" "Can you see anyone?" " No." "RICHARD:" "Ah, yes." "BOBBY:" "Big house." "SHANNON:" "I know." "SCREAMING" "ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS" "Hi." "RECORD SKIP" " Hi." "HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:" "Hello!" "Ahem." "NORMAL VOICE:" "Hello." "You all alright?" "Only, you all screamed." "It's been a bit of a weird night." "Um, I'm Richard, by the way." "Is that your van at the bottom of the drive?" "Yeah, we put it there by accident." "Do you mind if we borrow your phone?" "Only, we've not got any signal." "I did, but my phone ran out of battery." "Of course." "I'm Caleb." "Um, this is Shannon." "This is George, and this is Dionne and this is Bobby." "Hi." "Look, come in, it's freezing out here." "We'll see if we can get you some help." "Oh, don't you worry about that." "I've got us sorted." "Okay, yeah." "No, that is perfect." "Yeah." "No, thank you so much, I couldn't thank you more." "Cheers." "They're not coming." " The garage can't help us?" " Well, not for another like, 9 hours at least." "Why don't you stay here?" "Yeah, we'd love to stay." "I mean um, if that's alright with your parents." " Oh it's just us, I'm afraid." " Oh." " How come, where are they?" " Bobby!" "What?" "They could be on holiday or something." "You know, jet-skiing in Mauritius." "Or a safari in Kenya..." " They're dead." " ...or dead, you know, they could be dead." "I would tell you what happened but it's pretty harrowing." " Another time." " They were killed in a car accident in Paris." "Oh, Paree!" "We were in the car too, but we walked away." "Well I'm glad that you um that you walked." "And..." "Yeah we'd love to stay, if that's alright, and we can sort the phone out in the morning." "This place is amazing." " You really live here on your own?" " Yes." "Totally." "CLANGING NOISE" "What was that?" "The rooms are all made up." "Should be everything you need." "Great." "Plenty of food in the fridge." " You got any chicken?" " There's lots of chicken." " Have you got Peri-Peri?" " Tons of it." " Dunno why we'd ever leave." " Hmm." "CALEB:" "Just make yourselves at home." " Except..." " Oh yes, um..." " What?" " CALEB:" "On the first floor there's a corridor." "And we're having some work done to it." "It's not safe." "We've curtained it off." "Don't go in there." "And what's the code for the Wi-Fi?" " We don't have Wi-Fi." " Really?" " Yes." " What, really "yes" or really "no"?" "We really don't have it." "The house is sort of in the middle of nowhere, you see." "Sorry." "Well why don't you see your bedrooms and start getting settled in." "It's getting rather late." "I think you'll be very comfortable here." "I'm sure I will." "Just let us know if you need anything." "Thanks a lot, we really do appreciate this." "They've got a "D" on them!" ""Dionne", "D"!" "Isn't that a coincidence?" "That's a good bounce!" "Oh!" "Ooh... oh I've bruised the left one." "Okay..." "That is cool." "Well, it's great." "Thanks for everything." "Sorry, um..." "Did you uh... did you want something?" "Me?" "No, no, no, no." "Just wanted to make sure that you're comfortable." "I am, cheers." " So just let me know if you need anything." " Will do!" "I uh, I'll probably just call it a night, then." "Uh yeah, yeah, sure, sure, um..." "Well listen, if you need anything, you know extra pillows or extra duvet or extra..." "Honestly, I'm fine." "Uh, well I'll be off." " Right, good night, then." " Uh, good night." "Seriously, anything at all." "Well, I hope you'll be alright." "This is great!" " What about the chicken?" " Downstairs in the kitchen." "Great, thanks." "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it, then." "Yeah, well it's been a long day." "We finished filming a TV show, we drove to a graveyard campsite left the graveyard campsite then went through fog then we actually crashed into a ditch." "Then we were here and then..." "I met you." "That is a long day." "Do you know what, I'm kinda glad that it happened, though." "Why?" " Because we came here, and..." " You met me?" "Um..." "Sorry, you were being..." " Yeah, no I was..." " Bleh." "Listen, forget about it." "Thank you, though." "For everything." "Good night, Richard." "Night." "And I'm glad it happened, too." "Though, obviously, I hope your van isn't totalled." "Good night." "Again." "OWL HOOTS" " RICHARD:" "Night, everyone." " BOBBY:" "Good night, Richard!" "Good night Shannon, good night Dionne, good night George!" "Good night..." "the people whose house this." "DIONNE:" "Good night, Bobby." "Good night!" "SHANNON:" "Oh, can we all stop shouting "good night"?" "I'm trying to get some sleep." "RICHARD:" "Good night, Shannon!" "SCRATCHING NOISES" "DIONNE SCREAMS" "Mmm..." "BARKING" "Cujo?" "BARKING" " Cujo!" "What are you doing here?" "Cujo..." "Cujo!" "What are you doing?" "Making the floor all muddy." "Come on, Cujo." "Come out." "GROWLING" "Ahh!" "Ah, ah!" "Chicken!" "Ahh!" "SHANNON SCREAMS" "Ahh!" "There's no chicken!" "INDISTINCT SPEAKING" "Everyone listen!" " Everyone listen!" " What is this?" "I was eating chicken, right?" "And then there was no chicken!" "Right, I'm not staying in this house another second." " But I need to ring Cujo!" " Your dog has a phone?" "Of course Cujo has a phone!" "What am I, a monster?" "INDISTINCT SPEAKING" "CLARA:" "I'm very sorry that this has happened." "We'd hoped that they'd behave themselves." " "They"?" " They promised they wouldn't make trouble, but they're just not used to company." " We should have warned you." " Should've warned us?" "!" "Course you should've warned us!" "You should've told us not to come in." "You are not in any danger." "If you knew something like like this was gonna happen, why didn't you tell us?" "RUMBLING NOISE" "Shut up, you!" "CLARA:" "The truth is we're quite certain our parents are haunting the house." "We really don't understand it." "They're rather..." "protective over us, you see." "But they won't hurt you." "They really can't do anything." "The things you saw, they're not real." "They're like... waking dreams." "You know we're not staying, right?" "You know we're out of that door, right now." "But for the record, we really were just trying to help." "Look, maybe we should just get our clothes, go back to the van and try and sort everything out ourselves." " Yeah." " Yeah, okay." "Are you sure?" "Are you sure you want to leave?" "Well I don't "want to" want to, if you know what I mean." "Um it's just, you know it's all them um um, what do you call it?" " Terrifying things?" " Terrifying things!" "That's it." "But it's not our fault." "Oh." " Well maybe we could..." " We're going." "Oh really, but uh, I mean, we've, we've barely met, Shannon." "I was really looking forward to getting to know you." "Well there's not much to know." "I'm a Leo, I like walks in the rain, my favourite food's burrito and I don't like getting scared in weird houses." "See ya." "Oh, and if we don't get that van fixed" "I'm walking home." "GEORGE:" "Come on, Bobby." "Wait..." "Goodbye then, I guess." "It was lovely meeting you." "I loved meeting you, too." "Maybe it was fate." "Yeah, maybe." "Right, what's happening?" "Oh, what kept ya?" "Just being nice." "Right, let's get this van out of the ditch, eh?" "That's not gonna be a problem." " Why?" " It's already out of the ditch." " Oh, good." "Well let's get it started." "Uh, Rich, you don't understand." "It's out of the ditch and completely disappeared." "What?" "!" "A van don't just disappear, George!" "It does if it's that invisible car in the Bond films!" "SHANNON:" "Does the camper van have the ability to turn invisible?" "It barely gets into third gear." "Guys..." "What?" " I think I've found the van." " Ah, where?" "You're not gonna like the answer." " RICHARD:" "Whoa!" " DIONNE:" "What?" "Right, someone is definitely messing with us." "Someone's trying to freak us out and they are doing it, they are so doing it." " How does it even get there?" " SHANNON:" "We need to get out of here." "Has anyone got any signal?" "Cos my phone's still out of battery" " and I have no idea where my charger is." " Look, we need to make a plan." "We drive to where there's signal and call for help!" "Bobby, the van is up a tree." " Of course." " Yeah." " So we call a tree surgeon." " There's no signal!" "So we drive to the tree surgeon!" "Oh and when we get to the tree surgeon, what are we gonna say?" "Guys, the van is up a tree!" "Exactly!" "So we get him to do an operation on the tree." " To do what?" " To get the van down, silly!" " And how are we gonna drive there, Bobby?" " I don't believe this." " I'm leaving." " Yeah, me too." "BOBBY:" "We phone the car hire company..." "DIONNE:" "This is the right thing to do, right?" "SHANNON:" "Yeah, course it is!" "Just get away from there as far as possible and keep going." "BIRD SQUAWKS" "It's totally the right thing to do." "SCREAMING" " Does your brain work properly?" " Yes." "I've just been scared to death by the ghost of a non-dead dog who ran under the bed and tried to eat me!" "Ah, hey girls." "I thought you was going?" "Thought you was scared of the van." "Yeah well, the van's way less scary than what's going on out there." "TREE CREAKS" " Watch out!" "SHANNON:" "Although, you know, I have been wrong before." "Now we drive to the tree surgeon!" " Shut up, Bobby, man!" " Sorry, phone shop." "RICHARD:" "Listen, thanks, man." "You're welcome." "You're probably gonna want some help with this." "I think they have a landline." "I mean there's wires going into the house, I don't live there, but..." " Where do you live, then?" " Currently?" "Over there." " Nice." " I'm Fraser, by the way." " You've probably heard of my blog." " What's it called?" "Fraser's Blog." "No?" "I'm not really one for titles." "What's it about?" "I am an amateur paranormal investigator." "Is there any other kind?" "I'm just gonna ignore that." "Basically, it's all about supernatural encounters so ghosts, orbs, Ouija boards, quiches." "Quiches?" "That's a kind of eggy pie." "Yeah, I do recipes as well." "Just from time to time." "It's how I roll." "So um that house is a legend on the paranormal forums." "It's been quiet for years, nobody goes in or out." "And eventually people just started to forget about it." "But then, this guy starts snooping around and then suddenly, people start noticing it again." "I mean, the lights are on." "Oh yeah, no she was um they." "They was really nice." " I thought he was being a bit creepy." " No, I think he was just being nice." " He was being creepy." " That's what being nice is." "Look the bottom line is, we're freaked out, okay, we're super freaked out and it's dark, none of us have any signal" " and I just think we should..." "I think..." " No, George!" "...we should go back to the house and use the phone." "Is anyone even listening to me?" "Can I come with you, please?" "I've wanted to go into the house for ages, okay and I can't even get through the gate, so..." "Don't suppose they'd even notice if there was one more of us." "Think about it." "If you're gonna let more than like three random teenagers in your house, you're probably gonna stop counting." " Right, come on, let's go." " Whoa, whoa, hang on a second." "Me and Dionne aren't going anywhere near that house, are we Dionne?" " No." " No." " We're staying right here, aren't we Dionne?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "Suit yourselves." "Guys!" " What's your name again?" " Fraser." " Nice to meet you, man." "GATE CREAKS" "Whoa!" "RICHARD:" "What are you doing?" "Did no-one else see that?" " GEORGE:" "Come on." " RICHARD:" "This guy's a weirdo, man." "DOORBELL RINGS" "RICHARD:" "Maybe they went back to bed." "Yeah, maybe." "What are you two doing here?" "I thought you were staying by the van." "Yeah but, it's scary by the van." " Hi, Clara." " Hi, Shannon." "I thought you were leaving." "We were, but um, the van fell out of the tree, so..." "Can we come in please and call the police?" "SHANNON:" "Bobby!" "Thank you!" "Oh that's amazing, thank you." "Bye bye!" "DOORBELL RINGS" " Good evening." " Thank God you're here." "So, what seems to be the problem?" " Our van fell out of a tree." " It's true." " Straight out of a tree." " Very well, let me just get my pad out." "Oh, that new pad smell." "Right, so you say your van fell out of a tree?" " What kind of tree was it?" " I don't know." " Well then, I shall wish you good night." " Wait, please." "Oh, have you remembered what kind of tree it is?" "No." "Well then, I shall wish you good night." "Uh listen, we just don't really understand why it's so important what kind of tree it is?" "I can see you've had very little experience of law enforcement." "It's all about the details." "Was it a larch?" "An elm?" "A horse-chestnut?" " I don't know!" " Think, madam!" "I don't know anything about trees!" "Have a look at these." "Do any of these look familiar?" "I don't know, it just..." "it all happened so fast." "Um..." " Maybe... maybe this one?" " Ah!" "Now we're getting somewhere." "The larch." "And uh, what kind of van was it?" "I don't know." "Do any of these look familiar?" "Look mate, I don't mean to be rude, but the van and the tree's at the bottom of the drive." "Ah, that van and tree!" "Very well, the puzzle pieces are falling into place." "So, how did the van end up in the tree?" "I'm sure I don't need to remind you that it is illegal to park a van in a tree." " We didn't put the van up in tree." " Well there we are, then." " No harm done." " Please, I think you're missing the point." "Somebody took our van and put it in the tree." "Ah!" " Good, you've got it!" " I see the problem." "The tree at the end of the drive is an elm" " not a larch." " Well what are you gonna do about it?" "I'm gonna start a new page in my pad." "So... what was the van doing before it fell out of the tree?" "I don't know, uh, hanging." "Loitering?" " Do vans loiter?" " You'd be surprised what you see in this profession." "I don't think we're getting anywhere here." " We just really, really need your help." " I understand that, my love but I'm trying to establish the nature of the crime so that I know who to arrest." "I don't think you need to arrest anyone." "Well what am I doing here then?" "I'm a policeman." "Arresting things is what I basically do." "You could arrest the van." "It strikes me that the van is an innocent victim in all this." "SHANNON:" "Do you know if you arrest someone, are you gonna take them away" " to a nice, safe, non-haunted police station?" " Absolutely." " Then arrest me." " What for?" " Uh, putting the van up tree." " But you don't even know what kind of tree it is." " I do, it's a larch." " It's an elm!" " Well does it matter?" "!" " Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?" "I've got a good mind to arrest the lot of you for wasting police time." "Good, arrest us!" "Not if you want to be arrested." "That takes all the fun out of it!" "I'm leaving." " Wait no, please stay!" " Absolutely not." "I'm off and don't call me again!" "In fact, don't call the police ever again." "You're blocked, do you hear me?" "Blocked!" "A larch... a larch!" "What does she take me for?" " What just happened?" " CLARA:" "Please don't worry." "You'll be perfectly safe here." "And I'm glad you came back." "Really." "RICHARD LAUGHS" "It's hot in here, isn't it?" "Um... so, is it alright if we stay the night?" "Again." "Maybe for the whole night this time, instead of running out screaming." "You wanna stay here again?" "Are you nuts?" "Oh, of course you can stay." "It's just nice to have the company." " BOBBY:" "I'm not going back in that room." " DIONNE:" "Nor me." " Me either." " You can count me out, too." "So what do we do?" "Oh come on guys, someone must have some ideas." "Wow..." "Can't believe it, I am actually inside the hill house!" "I've broken off from the group and I'm exploring on my own." "This is the ground floor library." "Trap door!" "No trap door." "Haven't seen anything weird yet." "The group I'm with, they've all experienced something paranormal but that could just be a group hallucination." "Weird..." "DOOR SLAMS" "That's not good." "We don't get many visitors." "Pizza place won't even deliver." "But, this is our home, you know?" "We don't want to leave." "But, and I don't mean to be rude, when I looked in the mirror there was this really ugly face." "Who's gonna do the punchline?" "Anybody?" " You guys just disappoint me." " Look the house is haunted." "Isn't it just a little bit exciting?" "THUNDER" "Well, sweet dreams everyone." "Good night." " Good night everyone." " Oh, don't start that again!" "Just go to sleep." "Alright!" "THUNDER" "Woo!" "KNOCKS" "Ow!" "My pad..." "Gotta get my pad, gotta get my pad." "Huh." "Looking for this?" "Um..." "I... yeah." "I couldn't sleep." "Came down to get a book." "Well uh, lots to choose from." "You're not one of them, are you?" "No, no, no, I um..." "I was helping down on the road when the van was in the... in the tree, so..." "I recognise you, though." "Yeah, I've seen you down by the gate quite a few times." "You know, if you wanted to come in, all you had to do was knock." "We won't bite." "I'll bear that mind." "I'll just take..." "Seems you're quite interested in my sister and I." "It's an interesting house." "Don't worry about the house." "It might seem weird and you might see some strange things sometimes but that's all it is." "Just an illusion." "Go back to your new friends." "You're welcome to stay as long as you can." " "Can"?" " I mean like." "Thanks." "Thanks a lot." "Well, you're very welcome." "Whoa..." "Something just went right through me." "What, biryani?" "Ha, ha!" "Is it morning already?" "It's getting there." "Well, I slept like a log." " Logs don't sleep." " Exactly." "It's morning now." "Nothing's scary in the morning." "DIONNE SCREAMS" "Open the front door now, or I'll come through the window." "I've brought my hammer." "Where are they?" "Caleb and Clara?" "Yeah." "Caleb and Clara." "Come down here and speak to me!" "Time is running out!" "STRANGE WHISPERS" "Can you hear me?" "Who are you?" "Gene Peck." "Peck Estates." "I build houses." "I specialise in those circular houses." "Yes, because, where houses are concerned you like to cut corners, don't you, Mr Peck?" "So..." "Here you are." "Well, I see you've taken full advantage of our guests' very hospitable nature." "Good morning." "Mr Peck, isn't it?" "Don't give me all of this." "Look, if you'd like to come through, we can all talk about this like civilised adults." "I'm fine here, thank you." "Well that's your choice." "For you..." "That's the letter from my solicitor." "I think you'll find that it's all in order." "£20,000?" "That was what was left owing on the house." "That's the debt that I bought and that's what you still owe me." "And have owed me for some time." "Not that you ever answer the phone" " or open the door." " We don't have £20,000." "Shame." "It's a shock." "You'd best start packing." "This place is mine." "Maybe I can help." "I've got £7 and 64 pence." "Well, it's a good start Rich, but..." "They still £19,992 and 36p." "Anyone else?" "Bobby?" "What?" "Oh!" "I invest widely and wisely." "That's the return on some timber shares I got in '09." "How long do we have to pay you?" " You haven't got long." " Okay, how long?" " 8?" " Only 8 weeks?" " Hours." " 8 hours?" "Guys, that's just over a day, I..." "You'd better start saying goodbye to this place because at sunset, it'll be mine." "Look you can't do this, this is their home." "Not for much longer." "I've always wanted to build the perfect house." "Beautifully designed ecologically sound, using local stone and timber." "But not just blending into the countryside, complimenting it." "Not just any building." "So much more than that." "A house home." "A work of art." "And you're gonna build that here?" "No." "You are not gonna get away with this, Peck." "You are cheating us out of our house, out of our parents' house." "RUMBLING NOISE" "Got a bit of a temper on him, hasn't he?" "You will not knock our house down." "No, well no, I won't." "But..." "I've got some guys who have other ideas." "Get them out of our garden." "You mean my garden?" " Not yet." " Look, I think you better leave, Mr Puck..." " Peck!" " Peck." "Ugh, it would've sounded so good if I got your name right." "I'm just gonna um..." "Fine." "I'll be back at sunset." "Be ready to leave." "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think, alright?" " Too much?" " A little." "He's right." "Just try not to worry." " Yeah." "Breakfast, anyone?" " BOBBY:" "Wait." "Wait, wait, wait." "I think I'm having an idea." "We know like, a few famous people, right?" "What do famous people do when they want to raise money?" " Ah, sell a kidney!" " SHANNON:" "Or, they hold a star-studded celebrity benefit, with comedians and bands and sell tickets and merchandise and raise all the money in one night." "I was gonna go with sell a kidney, but that actually might work." "What would we call it, though?" "Friday Fest." "Yeah, we'll call it Friday Fest!" "Cos it is a Friday." "And it's technically a short festival so, Friday Fest!" "And everyone hates the "ival" part of the world festival!" "This is a great idea!" "Yeah, I mean this might be the weirdest place I've ever stayed in but it's a home." "It's your home." "When we was in trouble, you guys opened the doors." "Maybe it's time we return the favour." "So yeah, let's put on a show." "And I promise you, I won't let him touch a brick of this house." "GLASS SHATTERS" "CLARA:" "You'll pay for that!" "So you're definitely coming?" "Oh perfect!" "Hello, great to hear from you." "Hey, Boris." "There's a finger buffet!" "Hello!" "Uh yeah, I'll see what we can do." "I'm really good thanks, how are you?" "Yeah, stage over here, right here." "We'll put the stage, sort of there..." "It might look a little bit better if it was the right way round." "You've got to be kidding me." "You good, Bobby?" "Yeah." "Ow!" "George, move out the way." "Why isn't it working?" " Dionne, are you even carrying any of this?" " Yeah." "Thanks." " He's so weird." " He likes you." "Ah!" "Oh that's great, man!" "Right, I'll see you in um..." "I'll see you in a couple hours, then." "Oh, hey Cheryl." "Yeah... you know I would, but there's people around!" "Bye." "I think we got a show." "ECHOING LAUGHTER" "Cool." "RICHARD:" "We need to let people know." "We need an audience and there's no internet, so what we gonna do?" "Ideas." "Oh!" "Right, we email whoever's got the internet and ask them to connect us to the broadband." " Really?" "This?" " Yeah." "If we word it, you know, politely..." "Then we email the broadband provider and get them to send us a router!" "Bobby, there is no broadband!" "Why are you shouting?" "I'm not shouting!" "Okay, I'm shouting!" "I'm sorry." "Right, guys, look, this isn't getting us anywhere." "Plus, I think someone needs to turn Bobby off and on again." "Now, how do we get the message out to lots of people?" "What was the question?" "Oh, um..." "How do we get the message to lots of people?" "Oh, my uncle owns one of those planes that pull adverts behind them." " Now that is really convenient." " It is." "It is convenient." "He can help us." "Cool." "How come you fell out of the wall?" "That's just how I roll." "I'm a falling-out-of-walls kinda guy." "Oh, okay." "FRASER:" "There was a slight problem with the banner but his mate Barry helped him out." "George, stop mucking about, get up!" "It's alright." "I can't believe you're doing all this for us." "Look, don't worry about it, it's nothing." "It's what we do." "I love to show people a good time." "Well, I'm glad you stayed." "If you had just left I might not have seen you again." "I'd have hated that." "Yeah." "Me too." "No." "This is awkward." "I thought you wanted to." "I do, it's just..." "What?" "You're standing on my parents." "Oh!" "Sorry!" "WHISPERING:" "Sorry!" "Uh, hi Shannon, I was wondering if..." "No." "Do you know what's weird?" "A pig with a man's head and a lady's voice?" "Yeah, but do you know what's also weird?" "I haven't looked at my phone." " There's no point, there's no signal." " Yeah, but I haven't missed it." "SHANNON:" "Me either." "And you don't even need signal to play Candy Crush." "Plus, I've got this to do." "SHANNON:" "Whoa." " Pretty good, right?" " Yeah." " That is pretty good." "Now all we have to do is wait and see if anybody comes." "Yeah, of course they'll come." "Won't they?" "It's a quarter to 7 on Friday the 15th." "The house definitely has a presence." "I'm yet to capture anything on film, but I think it's just a matter of time." "Also, this might just be in my mind but I think the house is trying to kill me." "Strike that." "The house is definitely trying to kill me." "This article's gonna make me famous!" "It's gonna take a lot more than that to stop me, house!" "Ahh!" "Hopefully soon, you know." "Hopefully they're on point as well..." "Whoa!" "Oh wait, don't tell me, it's just how you roll?" "It is." "I can't believe they're doing all this for us." "Yep." "It'll be ours soon, properly." "I guess it worked." "After all these years we finally found a way." "Worked like a charm." "Easy, really." " I think Richard likes you." " Shut up." " He does!" "Just like Shannon likes me." "If by like, you mean she can't bear to be in the same room as you, then yes." " I guess she does like you." " What?" "Oh, she's, she's just playing hard to get." "I'm sure." "PHONE VIBRATES" "Looks like the beginning of Friday Fest to me." "HORN HONKS" "What does it say on the side of that coach?" ""The Vamps"." "CARLA:" "Any idea?" "Means nothing to me." "What do you think they do?" "Ooh, maybe they're mimes." " Maybe!" " Yeah." " You came!" " Yeah, yeah, you guys ring, we come." "RICHARD:" "Appreciate that." "Come with me, I can show you your dressing rooms." "Okay, by the way, if it goes all demonic or shows you a horrible zombie corpse thing in your reflection in the mirror just try and ignore it." "Apparently it's just in your head." "Okay, cool." "You made it!" "Look, it's for a great cause, you know." "Yeah, building schools in Africa, right?" "Um, yeah, yeah if you like." "Um, well George here, he's gonna show you to your dressing room" " so George, take it away." " Yeah um, follow me." "Oh and also, listen if your TV gets possessed and shows you some paranormal presence in the room with you just don't worry about it, I mean, it happened to me and I am literally still alive, right now." "It's good to know." "I'm pretty certain that the secrets of the house are behind here." "Only problem is I can't see a way in." "He's trying again." "I'm all good, thanks mate." "Alright?" "I mean we're pretty much ready aren't we?" " You think you'd be able to hear someone or something." " Yeah." "Right, so we've got the bands, but we've not got an audience." " I know." " Well, I know you know." "Alright..." "One of us should probably ask if there's someone here." " How about Con?" " Con, I think you should ask." " Me?" "Go on, I did last time." "Go on, you slug." " Can I have a look?" " No, you can't." "You're not even gonna try and explain why?" "It's been a long, long day." "Okay, fair enough." " They're coming!" " What?" "Darren?" " Who else?" " That's what I'm wondering." " There's no-one else inside." " What?" " It's empty." " Yep." "It's just me." "My Dad's a coach driver and he gave me a lift." "It's weird..." "In my head I imagined" " more people." "Hmm." " More people." "Hmm." "Bye Dad!" "Are you on your own?" "Well I don't suppose you brought £20,000 with you, did you, Darren?" "Sorry..." " I did bring some homemade badges!" " Ah, nice!" "None of me, though." "Bobby'll sell you a ticket and show you to the Friday Fest arena." "Oh, thanks!" "It's not just me, is it?" "No, um, everyone else is um is in the loo." " Yeah." " Ohh..." "That makes sense!" " Come on, Darren." " Okay." "Have a good journey?" "The loo?" "What, all of 'em?" " Is there any people out there, do you know?" " I dunno." " Can't tell you." " Here you are guys, I got you some water." " Oh, cheers." " Thank you." " No worries." " Do you know what time we're on?" "Um, I don't know, Bobby?" "Um, well we'll have to check and get back to you, is that cool, yeah?" "Yeah are we on like, first, or like, second?" "I think you might be on second, anyway, let me double-check and I'll get back to ya." "Thank you for coming though, guys, I appreciate that." "Cheers." "Right, well might as well start." "DARREN:" "Yeah!" "Woo, yeah!" "Right, thank you for coming." "That's alright!" "Can you be quiet for a sec, Darren, please." "Sorry!" "Right, well thank you for coming, this is Friday Fest." " You can cheer now, Darren." " Oh, okay." "Woo, Friday Fest, baby, yes!" " Right this is embarrassing, don't you agree?" " Little bit." "I think we should call it off, what do you think?" " Yeah, let's just do it." " Might as well." " Yeah, okay, I'll tell the bands." "Yeah." "Alright, um..." "listen I want to um..." "I wanna say it um..." "It didn't turn out as popular as we wanted so um... it looks like..." "HORNS HONK" "It looks like..." "I'm sorry, but I think you should go home." "And I bet... can you keep the noise down, guys?" "I'm trying to talk!" "HORNS HONK" "Wait a minute..." "CHEERING" "How are we supposed to do a concert with all these people in the way" " and all this noise and... they're the audience aren't they?" "!" " Yeah!" "Welcome to Friday Fest." "AUDIENCE CHEERS" "Now, to kick us off, please welcome on stage our very own Dionne Bromfield!" "MUSIC: 'Tell It To My Face' performed by Dionne Bromfield" "♪ Thought I had you worried, you've been ragging on me" "♪ And I thought I let it go but I'm not having it" "♪ Get back, better take a step back, better take a walk with me" "♪ You wanna talk to me, say it to my face" "♪ Maybe it's not so easy, is it, oh no" "♪ It's not so easy, is it, oh no, oh no" "♪ Don't mince your words, sugar coat them for me" "♪ From what I've heard" "♪ Playing nice sure ain't your forte, honey" " ♪ No!" " ♪ Don't say it if ya" "♪ Wouldn't you say it to my" "♪ Wouldn't you say it to my face" "♪ Let it all out, out, out, out here in the open" "♪ Right now, why-ee-ay-ee-ay, oh why" "♪ Please say it if ya" "♪ Couldn't you say it to my" "♪ Couldn't say it to my face" "♪ Get it all out, out, out loud so I can hear ya" "♪ Right now, this is your confessional ♪" "What's happening Bobby, how we getting on?" "Mister whisker." "Huh, that's what I like to see, dude." "Hmm, heh, heh, heh..." "Are you having a good time?" "AUDIENCE CHEERS" "Right, our next band, I'm sure you love 'em we love 'em, give it up for Bars and Melody!" "MUSIC: 'Hopeful' performed by Bars and Melody" "♪ Yeah" "RAPPED:" "♪ Please help me God, I feel so alone" "♪ I'm just a kid, I can't take it on my own" "♪ I've cried so many tears, yeah, writing this song" "♪ Trying to fit in, where do I belong?" "♪ I wake up every day, don't wanna leave my home" "♪ My mamma's askin' me why I'm always alone" "♪ Too scared to say, too scared to holler" "♪ I'm walking to school with sweat around my collar" "♪ I'm just a kid, I don't want no stress" "♪ My nerves are bad, my life's a mess" "♪ The names you call me, they hurt real bad" "♪ I want to tell my Mom but she's havin' trouble with my Dad" "♪ I feel so trapped, there's nowhere to turn" "♪ Come to school, don't wanna fight I wanna learn" "♪ So please Mister Bully tell me what I've done" "♪ You know I have no Dad, I'm livin' with my Mom" "SUNG: ♪ Cause I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today" "♪ Take this music and use it, let it take you away" "♪ And be hopeful, hopeful, and He'll make a way" "♪ I know it ain't easy but that's okay, just be hopeful" "RAPPED: ♪ Why do you trip at the colour of my skin?" "♪ And whether I'm fat or whether I'm thin" "♪ You call me a loser, you call me a fool" "♪ I ain't got a choice, I gotta to go to school... ♪" "Oh." "♪ ..." "I'm so scared inside" "♪ Doesn't really matter if I ain't got the looks" "♪ Why do you always hurt me and destroy my books?" "SUNG: ♪ Cause I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today" "♪ Take this music and use it, let it take you away" "♪ And be hopeful, hopeful, and He'll make a way... ♪" " How's it going?" " Really good, we're almost halfway." "Aw, Bobby, you've coloured that in really well!" "Um, no no no, no, no, no..." "So I'm in a room with no doors." "I'm wondering what I'm looking for." "Oh, here we go, it's a ghost, it's a ghost!" "It's a gho... it's a ghost." "It's a ghost, I think." "There, there's a mist emanating from the painting." "It is definitely colder in here and there's literally no way out for me." "That's a problem." "What do you want?" "STRANGE WHISPERS" "Do you want to hurt me?" "AUDIENCE CHEERS" "Now this next act, very good friends of mine." "Big round of applause for The Vamps!" "MUSIC: 'Somebody to You' performed by The Vamps" "♪ Yeah you!" "♪ I used to wanna be living like there's only me" "♪ But now I spend my time thinking 'bout a way to get you off my mind" "♪ I used to be so tough, never really gave enough" "♪ And then you caught my eye, giving me the feeling of a lightning strike" "♪ Yeah you" "♪ Look at me now, I'm falling, I can't even talk, still stuttering" "♪ This ground of mine keeps shaking, oh oh oh, now!" "♪ All I wanna be, yeah all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah, is somebody to you... ♪" "So... what?" "I, I don't understand, I don't..." "What are you doing?" "Alright..." "So, they're dead?" "And who are you?" "♪ All I wanna be, yeah all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah, is somebody to you" "♪ Everybody's tryna be a billionaire but every time I look at you I just don't care" "♪ 'Cause all I wanna be, yeah all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah, is somebody to you... ♪" "Is it the party that's bothering you?" "I don't understand." "Help me, help me under..." "Oh come on, come on, don't do that." "Come on, no..." "look, hang on, hang on, hang on." "Okay, I think I've got it, I think I've got it, okay?" "So they're dead, right?" "Why do they need the money?" "What possible use could they have for it?" "Well, they wanna own the house, but why?" "I mean, do you need to own a house to haunt it?" "Whoa, okay, maybe you do, I dunno, I dunno." "So what?" ""The dead must never own the land they haunt or the death can infect the world."" "And that's why you were haunting Richard and George and everyone else you wanted them to leave?" "So, we need to stop the party." "♪ I used to ride around, I didn't wanna settle down" "♪ But now I wake each day, looking for a way that I can see your face" "♪ Yeah you... ♪" "I think we're gonna make it, you know." "Look at that." "And there's still people arriving." "Including him." "Not gonna work, you know." "It's all gonna be mine." "Mine." "♪ All I wanna be, yeah all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah, is somebody to you" "♪ All I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah... ♪" "Gotta get down there." "Come on, think!" "Um, I came in through a painting, so..." "Ooh." "Well, this is obviously a trap." "But..." "CORD UNRAVELS" "♪ Everybody's tryna be a billionaire but every time I look at you I just don't care" "♪ 'Cause all I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah... ♪" "How did you do it?" "Just used the dumbwaiter." "And did you shut it down properly, this time?" "Caleb?" "CALEB:" "Maybe he won't find it... ♪ All I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah... ♪" "Ow!" "♪ 'Cause all I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah, is somebody to you ♪" "♪ Yeah you ♪" "AUDIENCE CHEERS" "Hey everyone!" "It's been a brilliant night and we still got loads of partying left to do but first of all, the reason we're here tonight is to stop this beautiful house being knocked down by the developers..." "AUDIENCE BOOS - ...and keep it in the hands of its rightful owners." "AUDIENCE CHEERS" "So without further ado, I'd like to welcome onto the stage" "Mr Gene Peck." "AUDIENCE BOOS" "Well, Mr Peck it's nearly sunset." "And it's been a tight one, but I'm pretty sure we've done it." "So Friday Fest has raised you your £20,000." "There you go." "I'm very grateful uh, that you've all turned up tonight to help line my pockets." "Of course, had you not turned up, the house would've been repossessed." "I'd have knocked it down and probably ended up better off but you weren't to know that so... cheers." "Oh yeah." "Remember, for all your building needs pick Peck!" "Go on, then." "Count it if you like, it's all there." "Yeah alright, I will." "FRASER:" "Ahh!" "£19,999 50 pence, it's 50p short." " No." " No, it's 50p short." "But I counted it!" "It's sunset guys, so uh well done, nice try." " Oh come on, someone must have 50p!" " No, no, no, no..." "This can't be happening." "FRASER:" "Don't give them the money!" " I ain't got nothing." " BOBBY:" "Neither have I." " SHANNON:" "George!" " GEORGE:" "I'm a magician." "It's what I do!" " Put it in the bucket, then!" " Quickly!" " Oh, sorry!" "FRASER:" "Get down there, gotta get down there quick." "Ooh, not that quick, okay!" "Ow..." "I didn't make it..." " Where have you been?" " PECK:" "Okay, well bish, bash, bosh." "The house is now officially yours." "I don't know how we can ever thank you." "What the..." "They're, they're ghosts!" "They own the house!" "This is like Uncle Pete all over again!" "GHOSTLY ROAR" "SCREAMING" "Uh, everybody run, run everybody, this is not part of the fest!" " I can't believe I didn't make it!" " I can't believe I nearly kissed her!" "PHONE RINGS" " Cujo..." "CUJO BARKS" " Um, Cujo, this is really not the time." "Okay, love you too." " You've got signal?" " Yes, I've always had signal." "I just never had battery." "FRASER:" "Wait, wait, have you got 3G?" "Ha, 4G mate!" "Set your phone up as a hotspot." "Everyone who's got power, tether your phone to the hotspot and sign into Twitter." "Wait, hang on a second, I'm pretty sure now's not the time to be tweeting." "We just potentially turned the Earth into the land of the dead!" "This is the perfect time to tweet, okay?" "I've got footage of real ghosts on my phone." "All I've gotta do is upload it to my blog, tweet it you guys retweet it, and before long..." "We'll have an army and the police" " and a fire engine!" " Even better." "We get an army of internet maniac ghost hunters." "Lunatics, paranormal geeks." "They won't stand a chance." "I can't believe you pulled it off." " Stay away from us, yeah?" " Ah, what's wrong, Richard?" "Don't you want to kiss anymore?" "Come on." "CALEB:" "There's just one more thing we have to say to you." "Get off our property." "SHOUTING" "These are my people." "They've been waiting their whole lives for this moment." "Proof that it's actually real and we haven't been, uh wasting our lives on online communities, so..." "Get away from us, get away!" "Be more scared, be more scared!" "Why aren't they frightened?" "You wanna know why?" "This is a categorically haunted house." "You're gonna be photographed, recorded and measured." "There's gonna be no peace for either of you." "It's like a supernatural theme park!" "No!" "No, stop this." "Stop all of those people!" "No." "You stop." "Gene, I need you to aim for the shield on the house, just smash it up, trust me!" "Right you are!" "Don't touch our house!" "SHANNON:" "What is that?" "Nothing." "It's our Mother and Father." "They won't leave us alone." "FRASER:" "They won't." "But not like these people." "Your Mother and Father won't leave you alone because well, they love you." "Stop all this." "Go to them." "But, I..." "I think you should go." "Sis..." "It is time." "CLARA:" "Yes." "Yeah, ha, ha, ha!" "Right, okay, so, I'm gonna take this home" "I'm gonna write this all up and I say yeah, we're done, it's all over!" "I'm gonna miss you guys!" "Oh, I could get used to this." "Wait, so that's it?" "You're just gonna go and we'll never see you again?" "I'm not really one for goodbyes." "I will tweet you later." " Bye." " Bye, Fraser." "Let's do it!" "Oh yeah." "Forgotten about that." "Ah, my brother-in-law's gonna be so angry about that!" "Uh, what do we do, now?" "Keep walking, I guess." "You guys need a lift?" " Darren!" " It's Darren!" " You are a legend, my friend!" " I know!" "RICHARD:" "Now that's what I'm talking about!" "...the book just flew straight into the door." "And I was like "I'm getting out of here!"" " Excuse me, excuse me." "Dev from BBC Radio 1, can you tell us exactly what's happened here?" "Only the most amazing moment for ghost hunters everywhere." "You know, we are treated as a joke." "People are always looking for a scientific explanation, you know that, oh..." ""ghosts are a simulation in the temporoparietal functions of the brain"" "or "the result of the ideomotor effect", or "infrasound"" "or "automatism", if you can believe that!" "But I have seen it with my own two eyes." "A non-floating, full-torsoed, solid-touch apparition." "You know, this is our footprint on the moon." "This is our origin of the species." "How did I do?" "Uh, we had to go to travel." "Sorry, thanks." " Good luck with the... thing." " Oh." "Back to my tent?" "I've got a thermos!" "CHEERING" "You want a holiday?" "I know just the place." "Dad, take us to Aunt Lune's place." "You'll love it!" "WOLF HOWLS" "Nothing weird's gonna happen though, right?" "No, of course not!" "Cool." "DARREN GROWLS" "MUSIC: 'Gold All Over' performed by Polar Collective" "♪ ..." "Yeah, like a supernova" "♪ You're as cold as ice and warm as lava" "♪ I'll be forever after" "♪ Gold all over, yeah, like a supernova" "♪ You're as cold as ice and warm as lava" "♪ I'll be forever after" "♪ I'll be, I'll be, I'll be forever after" "RAPPED: ♪ Yeah, you can't say that this is surprising" "♪ No hiding, I'm shining, that's it and now I'm feeling like I'm" "SUNG: ♪ Gold all over, now I'm giving the cold shoulder" "♪ We've run the course of this disaster" "♪ I'll be forever after. ♪"