"He's really..." "It's really messe up." "Aah!" "Watch the oor, okay?" "Hey, hello." "Habla English?" "Hey, are you the son?" "Ow!" "Granson." "She hit..." "Hit him while riving." "My leg." "El smack-o." "Look." "Look." "Just a crazy ol biznatch who ran over my brother." "It hurts so ba." "It hurts so ba." "It hurts so ba." "Look at that." "Yeah, it's this one." "My leg." "She..." "She broke his leg." "An then she stoo on the gas." "It's a hit-an-run." "She..." "She felonie me." "That's a felony." "Got the whole thing..." "Got the whole thing right here." "Ay, ios mio." "Okay, hol on." "Hol on." "Let me talk to her." "So, start talking." "Yeah, goo." "Aah!" "Look." "He can't..." "He can't put any pressure on it." "I nee to lean on you, so..." "I think it's..." "It's efinitely broken." "Es muy mal for my leg-o." "Here." "Lean up." "Lean up on the mantel." "No, man, it really hurts." "Just hang in there." "Hang in there." ""Muy mal"?" "Yeah, it's muy mal." "ue." "ue." "Yes, si, problema." "Shh, shh, shh!" "An now os problemas." "Aah!" "ue!" "Si, - os big problemas." "I on't know what you're saying, man." "ue." "Si." "We got a real problem here." "Si." "Yeah, si, problema." "Shh." "Ay, ios mio." "Ay, ios mio." "Hey, amigo, what are you gonna o about this leg situation?" "I really nee to see a octor." "A octor. octors ain't cheap, yo." "It's gonna cost." "Either you or her." "Someboy's got to pay." "You want money." "Yes!" "Yeah, amn straight." "Hit-an-run?" "It's no joke." "We're..." "What are the cops gonna say?" "Cops?" "They coming?" "Y-yeah, yeah, maybe." "That's up to you, man." "They..." "The cops..." "They can be looking at this tape anytime now." "It's all up to you." "Aah!" "Oh, that's really ba." "You c-calle her "biznatch"?" "I in't..." "Yeah, but whatever, man." "Please, hurry it up." "I'm hurting here." "Show us the green, or la policia is gonna come, an they're gonna be taking granny away!" "She's gonna go to jail." "o you want that?" "Yeah, that's right." "Play it smart." "Okay, goo." "So, let's talk ollar amounts." "For what you i to my..." "No!" "No!" "Biznatch." "Mijo?" "Mijo?" "Mijo..." "Ah, si." "Ay, mijo." "A-abuelita." "Oh." "Bueno." "Si." "Si." "Si." "Si." "Si." "Hi." "Get over here." "Uh, my abuelita's." "Bring No-oze an tell Nacho to bring his van." "Open up!" "Officer of the court!" "Open up in the name of the law!" "Goo afternoon." "This..." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "I'm showing hans." "I'm..." "I'm relaxe..." "Okay?" "Um, non-threatening." "You move, an you're ea." "Got it." "Seems to be a misunerstaning." "Is there, by any chance, a Betsy Kettleman here?" "See, I'm not sure if this is a situation where I shoul or shoul not look you in the eye." "Sit." "Who are you?" "Are you with those reheae scumbags?" "My name's James McGill." "I'm an attorney." "Uh, I got a call from some clients, uh, sai something about an accient." "I i not get any etails." "When I saw some skateboars in your front yar," "I assume they might..." "Mijo..." "Si, si." "Talk." "I'm gonna make an eucate guess what happene here." "My two clients, frick an frack, the mopheas, were in a simple traffic accient, a minor fener bener, but maybe they were on the wrong sie of the street, or they in't look both ways." "It coul happen to anyone." "My clients, exhibiting extremely poor jugment, uh, followe your granmother to this elightful, well-tene home." "Now, at this juncture, I'm eucing that they sai or i something that..." "Crosse a line, an you, with some justification..." "You put them in their place." "Base on the salsa stain there, coul have gone a couple ways." "The bottom line." "Not to be morbi, but if they're ea, um, I'm guessing that I'm..." "I'm gonna..." "I'm gonna..." "Yeah, I'm gonna go with glass half full here an say they're not." "Uh, my point is, if they're still alive, why kill us?" "Why?" "Because of a misunerstaning?" "Our own stupiity?" "Why mess up your lovely abuelita's place?" "Why jump to the nuclear option?" "See, I'm saying keep it simple." "I will collect my moronic clients, an..." "Poof!" "We are gone." "Neither you nor your lovely abuelita will ever lay eyes on us ever again, guarantee." "Signe, seale, an elivere." "Assuming, you know, that they're still breathing." "Wow." "You got a mouth on you." "Thank you." "Get up." "That way." "That way." "Y-yeah, sure." "Why not?" "So, what?" "I shoul cut 'em loose?" "Oh!" "It was him!" "It was all his iea!" " No, no, no!" " You shut up!" "Say what?" "He..." "He wante to scam you." "He sai we coul clear 2 gran, easy." "You punking me?" "Are you punking my abuelita?" "He hit his hea." "He oesn't know what he's saying." "For what?" "For what are you getting 2 gran?" "It was for going after your granma, just for taking a heaer over her car an then b-bracing her." "It was him, I swear!" "It was the lawyer!" "Who are you?" "Why are you after me?" "I can explain." "It's..." "You're gonna laugh." "It's so..." "I'm a lawyer." "I..." "Check my I.., okay?" "But I was running a scam." "On my abuelita?" "No, no!" "Not on your abuelita, not on you." "There's a woman name Betsy Kettleman." "I mentione her." "She's marrie to Craig Kettleman." "He's the treasurer of Bernalillo county." "I wante his business 'cause..." "He stole a million an a half bucks from the county." "He's gonna be inicte for embezzlement any ay now." "This is a goo case for me." "A lot of publicity." "I'll get my name out, an..." "Anyway, I thought if I ha these two run their little skateboar hustle on Mrs. Kettleman," "I coul, you know, rescue her." "Come in, throw some oil on trouble waters, an, yeah, I' get their business." "That was the plan." "But it turns out your lovely abuelita..." "She rives a car that's a whole lot like the kettle-mobile." "So, these two geniuses ran their little stunt on the wrong one." "So, joke's on me." "Ha ha!" "I..." "Simple as that." "Where's he going?" "Talk to me, okay?" "Who o you think I am?" "What is he getting?" "I was running a scam to get a client." "I mae a mistake." "That's all this is." "Oh, geez." "Y-you on't nee..." "That's not..." "I'll talk, okay?" "Tell me what you want to know!" "Who o..." "Who o you think I am?" "Hey, use your wors, okay?" "What?" "You know what I smell?" "I smell lies." "I smell pork." "No, that's not necessary." "Okay, we know you're with the heat." "The question is, who?" "Local?" "FBI?" "No, no, no." ".E.A?" "No, I'm a lawyer." "Just reach in my pocket right now!" "Right there!" "Truth." "That is the truth!" "I'm a lawyer!" "Guys, I passe the bar!" "Ask me anything!" "Not contract law, okay?" "I'm own at the courts every ay!" "People know me!" "I'm a known quantity." "I am!" "Aah!" "I'm..." "I'm special agent Jeffrey Steele, FBI." "FBI?" "FBI." "I'm unercover, okay?" "You got me." "I'm the tip of the spear, an releasing me woul be the smart move." "You hear that shit?" "I tol you the business was too goo." "I knew it." "I tol you." "Can I?" "Okay, uh, Special Agent, uh, Steele?" "Jeffrey A. Steele." "Okay, Agent Steele, what business are we in?" "Business?" "You're investigating us, right?" "For what?" "What i we o?" "What o we sell?" "rugs." "What kin of rugs?" "Uh..." "It's title 21, scheule II through scheule V, incluing part B." "That's what we call them own at the bureau." "It's..." "The task force is esignate "operation king breaker."" ""King breaker"?" "So..." "That makes me the king!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Can I?" "All right." "The next wors out of your mouth got to be the truth." "You unerstan?" "Uh-huh." "Who are you?" "I'm James Morgan McGill." "I'm a lawyer." "I was trolling for business, okay?" "That's the truth." "Now, you fin a bible, I'll swear on it." "Okay, what about, uh, operation, uh, king breaker, FBI?" "I mae it up, okay?" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I on't know you." "I on't want to." "Uh, this was a mistake, okay." "It's my mistake, okay?" "I take full an complete responsibility, but I on't know any of your names, an I got a ba case of face-blinness." "You let us go, we're gonna forget this happene." "Guys, we're gonna forget, right?" "No your heas." "Okay?" "So, if you just let us go an just..." "We want to just go..." "Home." "I say cut 'em loose." "He sai he was FBI." "He amitte it." "You ha your wire cutters on him." "He woul have sai anything." "You really see the FBI hiring those two flaquitos?" "Maybe." "Croaking a lawyer for no reason is ba business." "He goes away, someone's gonna come look for him." "They walke into my house." "They isrespecte my abuelita." "They call her "biznatch"!" "An they just walk?" "Uh-uh!" "What about the lawyer?" "He's giving respect." "Okay." ""James M. McGill..." ""A lawyer you can trust."" "I know how to fin you, James McGill." "Unerstan what I'm saying?" "Yeah." "Up." "Okay?" "Take him back to his car." "Thank you." "Uh, uh, this is..." "This is goo." "This..." "This is right." "Thank you." "Come on." "What..." "What..." "What about them?" "Come on." "Yeah, right." "Come on." "Uh, yeah, right." "Whoa." "Uh..." "Yo, where you going?" "Uh, wait." "Can I..." "Can I say something?" "Where you going?" "Can you let them go?" "Just let them go." "Are you stupi?" "They on't eserve to ie." "I put them up to it." "I on't eserve to ie, but they on't, either." "I'm gonna skin them, like javelinas!" "Forget about them!" "They're insects!" "They're..." "Hey, think about their mother." "I spit on their mama!" "She is a sweet little lay." "She..." "She's a wiow." "She works har all ay, every ay, just like her mother before her, from awn till usk, scrubbing the floors of rich people." "She nees a cane to walk, you know?" "She's got arthritis." "An still, she works every ay." "What?" "For herself?" "No." "No." "For them..." "For these two, her boys, her apples of her eye." "You say they on't eserve her?" "Maybe so, but they're all she's got." "Now... you turn them insie out," "I want you to think about what happens to her." "No, that's on them." "They shoul have thought about that." "When I was at your abuelita's place, you were gonna let them go." "Way I see it, that's because you're tough, but you're fair." "You're all about justice." "That's what I'm saying..." "Justice." "These..." "These two shit-for-brains?" "These big-mouths?" "You..." "You alreay beat the living hell out of them." "o you think they're ever gonna forget toay?" "Never..." "10 years from now, they're still gonna be crapping their Jockeys." "It's not enough." "Okay, okay." "Then let's talk proportionality." "They're guilty." "Oh, agree." "Now you have to ecie, what's the right sentence?" "Like a juge?" "Like a juge." "Ever hear of the coe of Hammurabi." "Let the punishment fit the crime, eye for an eye?" "Eye for an eye." "You want me to bling them." "No, no." "All they i was trash-talk." "So I cut their tongues out!" "Wait." "See, I'm avising..." "That you make the punishment fit the crime." "Punishment fit the crime." "Columbian neckties." "I cut their throats, an then I pull their lying tongues through the slits!" ""Biznatch"!" "Or you..." "You coul give them black eyes." "Black eyes?" "That ain't nothing." "That one there, homes..." "He alreay got a black eye, fool." "Stop helping." "Or you coul sprain their ankles." "Sprain?" "They're..." "They're skateboarers, right?" "That..." "That's how they run their scam." "They can't skate." "You..." "You hit them where they live." "I ain't spraining nothing, bitch." "I'm gonna break their arms, an I'm gonna break their legs." "Arms?" "When..." "When..." "When i we get on to arms?" "Let's..." "I'm cutting their legs off." "But..." "We coul go that way, but..." "We were talking about breaking." "I think we're heaing in the wrong irection." "Okay." "Break their legs." "How many legs?" "Two..." "They got two legs." "One leg." "Each." "One leg." "Each?" "They're..." "One leg each, that's a total of two legs." "Uh, hey, look." "They can't skateboar for six months, an they're scare of you forever." "You show everyboy that you are the man, but that you're fair, that you're just." "One leg each." "That's tough, but it's fair." "All right, lay 'em out!" "I ain't got all ay!" "It's hotter than shit out here!" "Quit moving!" "You're only gonna make it worse!" "We're sorry!" "We're sorry!" "Lookit!" "Hell, yeah!" "Hell, yeah!" "He sai he ha a broke leg." "Now he's got one for real!" "You..." "Tell your mama you're sorry, bitch!" "Other one." "Look!" "It's backwars." "Check it out." "I'm gonna o this one real clean." "No!" "Oh, my go!" "No!" "Whoo!" "Walk home now, bitch!" "Shut up!" "Shut up!" "Here you go." "Here you go." "Easy, easy." "You..." "You..." "You..." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Save your breath." "You..." "You are..." "You are the worst lawyer, the worst lawyer ever!" "Hey, I just talke you own from a eath sentence..." "Oh, my go!" "Oh, my!" "...to six months' probation." "I'm the best lawyer ever." "ue, ue, ue, oh!" "Oh, my go!" "Oh!" "No!" "Coul you, uh..." "Coul you, um..." "I'll be right back." "Groun yourself?" "Jimmy, i you groun yourself?" "Oh." "I on't think you groune yourself." "Jesus." "Jimmy, you in't rive like this, i you?" "Oh, no." "No." "I knew it." "Oh." "Ah." "Oh." "Aah." "Chuck." "Coffee?" "Yeah, thanks." "You're gonna have to take it black." "We're out of milk?" "Oh, sorry." "Why are you in that space blanket?" "You brought your cellphone in here last night." "It was in your pants pocket." "Oh." "Sorry about that." "Where, uh..." "Where is it?" "Outsie." "I threw it out the oor." "Yeah." "How i I get here?" "Your car's not outsie, so I'm assuming taxi." "Right." "Uh, the bartener..." "Wouln't let me rive." "Why are you in that space blanket?" "I tol you, you brought your cellphone into my house." "Uh, Chuck, um, i you..." "Chuck, i you rea this?" "Rea what?" "Uh, this, um, this bill." "i you rea it?" "Emergency-room bill..." "Yeah, I may have glance at it." "It fell out of your pocket." "Hey, Chuck, listen, I..." "I know how this looks." "I'm own to my last ime, an, suenly," "I'm paying for broken legs, but..." "It's..." "It's not that." "I swear." "This represents a goo thing, ultimately." "Okay." "I..." "I'm not backsliing." "This isn't slippin' Jimmy." "Fine." "Take off the space blanket, will you, please, Chuck?" "It helps." "Take off the space blanket." "I in't o anything wrong." "It has nothing to o with that." "It was your phone." "Take off the space blanket." "Why?" "Take off the space blanket, Chuck." "Come on." "Take off the blanket." "Thank you." "Front yar?" "Mmm." "Uh, o you have any iea where it lane?" "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "What o you want?" "Not to starve to eath." "What o you say?" "Got something for me?" "It's showtime, folks." "Globis, lawyer." "I'm gonna kill him." ""Your honor, I'm very sorry." "I'll never o it again."" "Say what?" "Just..." "Your honor, I'm very sorry, an I'll never o it again." "Okay, Mr. Pearson, up you go." "Up you go." "All right." "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Whoa, whoa!" "Whoa, whoa!" "What's this?" "I tol you a suit, remember?" "Tol you you want to look sharp." "That's a loaner, okay?" "I nee it back." "Let's go." "Petty with a prior." "The ki took a slice of pizza." "Petty with a prior." "Look, the parents are a train wreck." "There's no foo in the house!" "He was hungry!" "Petty with a prior." "Come on!" " You're light on stickers." " Come on." "$5." "You serious?" "You got four." "You nee five." "There's four 90-minute stickers there." "You've been here 6 hours an 5 minutes." "It takes 10 minutes to walk own here!" "$5, or you go get another sticker." "This makes you feel real important, huh?" "Not enough stickers!" "More stickers!" "It's showtime, folks." "It's showtime." "Petty with a prior." "Prior will stay on his sheet for life." "Petty with a prior." "You're overcharging him." "Petty with a prior." "That lay up there." "She shorts me every time, okay?" "This is not a me problem..." "This is a you problem." "It's showtime." "What?" "It's from a movie." "Hey!" "Petty with a prior." "Misemeanor shoplifting." "Petty with a prior." "Come on." "Meet me halfway." "Petty with a prior." "I can't o it." "Petty with a prior." "Okay, or how about this?" "I plea the ki to the sheet, but you give me a continue sentence." "An in six months, if he's still clean, you file for a ismissal." "Come on." "Is this how you want to spen your time?" "You can have the rest of these." "Berger, lawyer." "Oh, Mr. Berger, we've met before, haven't we?" "Mr. Eison, like the inventor?" "I'm James McGill." "I'll be your lawyer." "oesn't matter." "Juge has got to see your mother." "Well, o you know anyboy who looks like her?" "No, an uncle won't o it." "Okay, so, a fire was starte." "We all know that." "Freezing, shivering, as she is now." "In fact, wrote a book about it." "...to make some cookies." "But because you..." "...given her this name..." "You can see that this man..." "Chose..." "A bonehea move." "Like a troll uner a brige!" ""You must have the stickers, or you won't pass!"" "Troll alert here." "on't fee it!" "Laies." "Goo evening, Mrs. Nguyen." "No mail." "Hey, Vicki, Maggie." "You have..." "Zero messages." "Customer." "What?" "For you." "A customer, waiting now." "Oh, uh, sure, sure." "Uh, give me a minute." "Welcome, welcome." "My office is being painte." "Excuse the temporary, uh, quarters." "Wow." "Cozy." "Just me." "Tuco freake you out, huh?" "It's cool." "He oesn't know I'm here." "So, uh..." "What can I o for you?" "I've been thinking about what you sai out there in the esert." "Those people that you were trying to scam." "How much i they steal?" "Um, north of a million an a half bucks, I think." "So, they have a million an a half bucks somewhere." "In what, cash?" "I on't..." "Well..." "Why are you asking me?" "I'm gonna rip them off." "Oh." "I like ripping off thieves 'cause they can't go to the cops." "They have no recourse." "Mmm." "You point me at where they have their cash," "I'll pay you, a what o you call it?" "A finer's fee." "Call it 10%, 100 large." "Well, uh, why..." "Why woul you come to me for that?" "You alreay trie ripping them off." "I'm gonna finish what you starte." "I..." "I wasn't trying to rip them off." "I..." "I just wante their business." "Okay." "I on't know where their money is." "Smart guy like you coul figure it out." "If I know what I nee to know, noboy gets hurt." "We rip them off." "Easy money." "Hey, look, I'm a lawyer, not a criminal." "You are shitting me." "I crosse a line." "I mae a mistake." "I'm not oing that again, not ever." "I got between you an Tuco." "o you think you' be here now." "I kept my mouth shut?" "An I appreciate that." "I owe you." "An if you're ever in trouble, go forbi, legal trouble," "I will be there, 24-7, as a lawyer." "What's your angle?" "No!" "No angle." "An I'm not saying anything about this to anyboy." "As far as I'm concerne, you're a client." "This is a consultation, an everything you just tol me is privilege." "You rat, you ie." "An that, too, yes." "For when you figure out you're in the game." "I'm not in the game." "I..." "I promise."