"THE STRANGE LITTLE CAT" "Morning." "Morning." " Hello." "Hello." "Did you sleep well?" " Yes." "Did you hear Simon come in?" " No." "None of his stuff's lying around." "He probably took everything to his room." "Milk." "How was the movie?" "Milk." " Good." "Lettuce." "L-e- t-t-u-c-e." " Here, for the sparrows." "I don't feed them anymore." "Why not?" "Because they didn't come to me last time." "Shameless." "Do you want coffee, too?" " No, thanks." "What did you say?" "Is Clara nuts?" "Yes." "And the cat's nuts, too?" "Yes." "What did you say?" " And Simon's still asleep?" "Yes." "He has to pick up Grandma at one." "Why so early?" "So she can help cook." "I have a pimple." "If you hadn't squeezed it, you'd barely notice." "You always notice pimples." "What did you say?" "All those poor sparrows who'll die because of you." "Put her down!" "Did you pick up Simon from the train station last night?" "Yes." " And did he look well?" "Yes." "I cut myself." "Now you're a clown." "Come on, get dressed!" "Yesterday, I went to the movies with Grandma." "It was pretty crowded." "Grandma sat to my right and a stranger sat on the left." "After a while, Grandma fell asleep." "She started to breath heavily." "I hoped her breathing wouldn't turn into snoring." "Suddenly, the man on my left placed his right foot on my left foot." "I didn't pull my foot away because I thought he'd take his away soon." "But he didn't." "He must have been so absorbed in the film that he didn't realize where his foot was." "I had waited too long, so I couldn't take my foot away anymore." "I had to sit totally still and wait until he took his foot away." "But he didn't." "I couldn't follow the film anymore." "Suddenly, a concert started in the film, and there was a loud trumpet blast." "Where am I?" "At that moment, Grandma woke up and looked around confused." "She asked where she was." "Then the man pulled his leg away and changed position." "Then I could finally move my foot again." "Fortunately, Grandma could save you." "How?" "Your sweater is on back to front." "And inside out." "The dog isn't eating." "What's that?" " Blood." "Should we buy anything else?" " No." "After the shopping, we'll stop by the hospital." "For the BP monitor." " Good." "How did Grandma save you?" "Come on!" "Can you get me a treat?" " Yes." "See you later." " See you." "Bye." "Bye." "five." "I'm going to lie down again." "What's that?" "What's that?" "A bag attached to a string." "We forgot the deposit bottles." "And I have to pee." "Jonas and Uncle are downstairs." "And somebody vomited out front." "Hello." "Hello." "Dad is still downstairs." "When I come back, we'll play." "Did you bring your essay?" " Yes." "See you." " See you." "Something's stuck to your shoe." "Your dad's waiting downstairs." "Morning." " Morning." "Thanks for giving up Saturday for us." "A chewing gum sticker." "Are Karin and Simon here yet?" "Yes." "They're still asleep." "They arrived yesterday?" "Simon did." "Karin's been here since Wednesday." "You think the washer can be fixed?" "Yes." "It's probably just a leak." "Your button's loose." "Almost all his shirts have loose buttons." "Leak?" " Or the carbon brushes are worn out." "And the cabinet?" " We can do it tomorrow." "Maybe we'll get it done today." "Earlier, I almost hit a bus." "The bus had its hazard lights on." "When I tried to pass it, there was a pedestrian." "I thought the bus still had its right signal on." "But in the meantime, it was already blinking left to pull out." "I didn't see that because of the pedestrian." "So I almost hit the bus." "Dad braked so hard, the seat belt cut right into me." "Yes." "The pedestrian just ambled across the street." "Shall I put this in the kitchen?" " Good." "Would you like some coffee?" " Please." "Here." "ls the dog allowed to do that?" " Yes." "Here." " Put it over there." "That's all mold down there." "Is the dog nuts now, too?" " Yes." "Did you sleep well?" "I read you should drink a high-carb milk drink two hours before bed." "Because it helps you sleep." "That's what I did." " Very good." "What is that?" "A bag attached to a string." "The upstairs neighbor can't do the stairs anymore since she got really fat." "So now, she hauls up her groceries." "Every day a friend brings the groceries." "But he's old and doesn't want to climb the stairs." "Why doesn't she move to another flat?" "I don't know." "Put some fennel in her bag." "Digesting fennel burns more calories than fennel even has." "Really?" " Yes." "The bottle's stopped spinning." "So it has." "What's the dog doing?" "He's listening to the cat purring and growling along." "Sometimes he's so touched, he barks with excitement." "Don't you?" "That sort of spectator is a purring cat's dream." "Did you tell him to come so early?" " Yes." "Why?" "So you can't brush your teeth." "You dropped a piece of orange peel." "Where?" " Over there." "And there's another one." "Where?" "There." "Where?" "There." "Could you pass me an orange?" "Hello." "Hi." "How are you?" " Good." "How are you?" " Good." "How long are you staying?" "Until Sunday night." "Great." "I need to get something from the car." " Yes." "I'll leave the door ajar." " OK." "The other day, I was walking on a dirt track with small stones." "The stones made my steps seem loud." "Every single step." "I wanted to eat my orange and took it out of my bag." "I started to peel it and..." "And then you peeled the orange?" "Yes." "I started to peel it." "My steps were really even." "Like a metronome." "I completely fell into this rhythm." "In the rhythm," "I threw the orange peel on the ground." "Every single piece." "In a high arc." "Suddenly, I realized that each piece ended up on the ground with the white side up." "It was weird." "It was always the white side facing up." "Never the orange side." "Always the white side." "I think it's because the orange side is heavier, more compact, and the white side is lighter, more fluffy." "What are you doing here?" " ls Clara there?" "No." "Clara doesn't have time to play today." "Can I have a drink?" " Yes." "White." " Hello." "Hello." " Did you come to watch the cat purr?" " No." "Here." "White." "White." "They're coming to get the fat woman." "White." "You see?" "That's just how it was back then." "No wonder the plant keeps getting smaller." "The towel is dirty." "You're going to get a rash." "They crack." "Does it work?" " Yes." "Here you go, tissues." " Thank you." "I'll go walk the dog." "So you're here, too." "Hello." " Hello." "What's up?" "We're fixing the washer." "Should be working again soon." " Very good." "Everything fine at school?" " Yes." "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Do you have a cloth?" "Yes." "I'll get it." " Thank you." "Is Hanna joining us later?" " Yes." "How will Grandma get here?" "Simon will pick her up." "So she can help with the cooking." "Here." " Thank you." "How is she doing?" "She's taking even more pills now." "Different kinds." " Come on." "So she constantly falls asleep." "Hey, come here." "You lost your growling spectator." "Clara got a birthday card from her." "Clara was reading it aloud and just stopped suddenly." "Grandma got quite a fright." "Maybe she fell asleep while writing." "She kept looking at the card to check if it was really her handwriting that ended for no reason." "Handwriting." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." " Bye." "Excuse me, may I..." "Bye-bye." " See you later." "Come here." "Bye." "Bye." "You have to run an empty cycle." "The washer washes itself." " Yes." "I wish I could find the wrench." "I'm sure we had one." "I read that touching certain kinds of cheap tools is worse than smoking 1,000 cigarettes." "But these aren't cheap tools." "Fortunately." "What's that?" "A moth." "Can I have some lemonade?" "Just check what's in the fridge." "Is the cat allowed to do that?" "You have to pick up Grandma in half an hour." "What?" "Sit at the open window?" " Yes." "She can." "Did you hear me?" " Yes!" "Grandma doesn't like to be kept waiting." "Where's Clara?" "Grocery shopping." "She's even more annoying now." "She can write now and wants to write down every word." "And she spells every word wrong." "If you corrected every word, you'd be at it all day." "Close call for the lamp." "Hello!" "My ball!" "The ball." "Could you pass me the ball back?" "Hello!" "The ball!" "That's why I don't correct any of her writing anymore." "I leave it all spelled wrong." "Spelled wrong, almost every word seems funny." "Hello!" "My ball!" "My ball is up there!" "Is anyone there?" "My ball!" "Hello." "I think a screw came off." "Why?" " It's rattling." "Could be something in with the wash." "Shall I take your laundry out?" " I'll do it." "No, finish your cigarette." "It's still spinning." "If you'd touched cheap tools, that would be your 1001 st cigarette." "No." "My 1003rd." "Is Grandma sleeping now?" " Yes." "Why your 1003rd?" " The spin is done." "You can take the laundry out." "'Cause it's my third today." " Yes, exactly." "Yes, exactly." "Your third." " Wrong." "My 1003rd." "Stupid cow." "Don't you like thought experiments?" "No, I like cuss words." " Right." "There's a rat on the pavement." "And something nasty." "The rat probably found something edible in there." "Thanks." " You're welcome." "Here's two euros." "What for?" "For giving you work?" "It was in the wash." "Nice washer." "I wonder what it's paying me for." "For letting it smell your underwear." "True." "She shrank." "What are you doing?" " Hello." "I'm waiting for the rat." "Is Simon up?" " Yes." "Do you have the BP monitor?" "Yes." "Nice." "I'm going to clean up the vomit and feed the rat." "And Dad is a monster." "Empty the dishwasher!" "Look how tall I am and how high the cupboards are." "Do you notice anything?" "Look how tall I am and how tall you are." "Do you notice anything?" "What's the matter?" "Karin almost drooled on my head and then sucked it back up." "Here we go!" "Don't scream!" "Grandma is asleep." " Where?" "In Simon's room." "137/102." "137," "102." "A kid with a knife in his back." "Really?" "Where?" "Nowhere." "I wouldn't want to be a black dog in summer." "But it's not summer." " Fortunately." "Would you like to be a black dog in fall?" "Then, yes." "Then you'd like to be a black dog now." "No, I changed my mind." "I was at a birthday party." "It was a barbecue, on the balcony." "And there was a drunk woman." "She was crying." "A cell phone!" "Can you check who it is?" "Hello." "It's Hanna." " Ask her what she wants." "She would open her eyes, look at someone and insist she wasn't crying." "Suddenly, someone inside threw something onto the grill." "The drunk woman jumped up and screamed." "Ash was flying around." "She just stood in the corner, smiling." "Almost uncanny." "Her smudged face was now covered in ash." "She looked as if she had dressed up for a weird occasion." "Then, she suddenly left." "And everyone was glad she was finally gone." "After a while, we heard the downstairs door shut." "She started kicking the door and screaming." "The police came." "And they pointed a flashlight at her face." "Probably to examine her pupils." "And suddenly, she was very calm." "Almost peaceful." "As if that horrible light finally calmed her down." "And then?" "Then she went away." "I could still see her for a while, walking off." "Then she was gone." "At home I found black ash in my hair." "There's hair in my milk." "Where's Clara?" "She's cleaning up the vomit and feeding the rats." "Hello." " Hello." "Are you coming?" " In a moment." "The rat's gone." "I almost broke your kitchen lamp with my ball." "Were you upstairs again?" " No." "Then you're a magician." "Bye." "Bye." "Now the rat's here." "And now it's gone." "140," "102." "Why is your face so shiny?" "It's a facial mask." "Can I peel it off?" " Later." "Your button is loose." "I know." "Your shoes are wet." " I cleaned the sidewalk." "Take off your shoes and clean this up." "Why'd you do that?" "It was falling off." "White." "You're bleeding." " It's not that bad." "Can't you drink normally?" " Me?" "Yes." " Are you crying?" "I'm chopping onions." "What's not normal about the way I drink?" "The noise." "That's how it sounds!" "Stop it!" "Now they're taking the fat lady to a nice ground floor apartment." "Can I pull?" "Good." "Put it in the laundry basket and get a new one!" " OK." "Stop it!" "Clara hid his ball under the sideboard." "There really are rats down there." " Yes." "Now I'm a monster, too." " Well spotted." "Here." "The cloth." "I'm coming to kill you." "You're a monster, Dad is a monster, the dog is nuts, the cat is nuts." "You're nuts and the sparrows are nuts." "The sparrows are nuts?" "You're nuts." "You're nuts." "What's that?" "Clara's shopping list." "It was in the trash." "Almost every word is spelled wrong." "You used to save all mine and Simon's stuff, too." "Now it's all in a box in the basement." "Would you like some coffee?" " Yes, please." "Can you make me one, too?" " Yes." "What are you doing?" "I'm pricking the eggs so they don't burst when they boil." "You have watery eyes, too." "Cats are my onions." "And onions are my cats." "You crumpled the shopping list." "Grandma is sleeping." "Don't throw her!" "She wants to sit up here." "This is a picture of you." "It costs two euros." "Give it back!" " Grandma is sleeping!" "What?" " Be quiet!" "What?" " Be quiet!" "What?" "I landed." "We can play now." "Can you give me your shirt?" "You win." " I know." "Why aren't you even glad?" "I am glad." "Why aren't you cheering?" " Because." "Grandma is sleeping!" "That's how to be glad." "Stop it!" " I'll get it." "Me too." "Hello." "Are we late?" " No." "Dinner isn't ready yet." "How are you?" " Good." "Where's your mother?" " In the kitchen." "Hanna was fighting with a neighbor downstairs." " Why?" "Tell me about it." " Yes." "Hello." " Are you excited?" "You look relaxed." "What happened to you?" "A button came off." "And I have a tattoo." "And Dad's arm is bleeding." "And he's allergic to the cat." "He's not bleeding anymore." "He's only sneezing." "Where is he?" " Taking a shower." "Good to see you." " Hello." "Everything well?" " Yes." "Shall I help you?" " Yes, thank you." "The cutlery." "Why did you fight with a neighbor?" "Because I chained my bike to the tree." "139/85." " Thank you." "And then?" "Then he said the tree doesn't like it..." "You're flashing!" "How are you?" " Pretty good." "And you?" " Good." "Would you like to put the cello down?" "Yes." " Let me help you." "Are you nervous yet?" " Yes." "Hello, Simon." " Hello." "You're tanned!" " Yes." "Hanna's not as tanned." " She never gets tanned." "Only sick." "How was it?" " Our vacation?" "Nice." "Our flight was canceled last minute." "So I had a hotel room to myself for free, for a whole day." "Do you like cooking?" " No." "Not at all, right?" " No, not much." "I can't remember the last time you were here." "Now he won't leave you alone." " Why?" "You're his playmate from now on." "But it wasn't that long ago." "So what did the neighbor say?" "That the tree doesn't like it." "And I said I'd like it if other people always..." "That's why no one plays with him anymore." "That you'd like what?" "If other people chained their bikes to me." "And then?" "Then he got mad and I had to laugh." "You have weird nipples." "And a weird belly button." "So you spent the whole day in your hotel room?" " Yes." "I had secretly filled my bag with food from the breakfast buffet." "Like a shoplifter." "So I didn't have to leave the hotel until the next morning." "I was in the hotel room for 24 hours." "The next morning I met Hanna at the airport." "She looked good." "And I smelled like cigarettes." "My eyes were really red and watery." "But I was happy." "You get the drinks and I'll fly the helicopter back to your room." "Is this for the living room, too?" " Yes." "Thank you." "What are lungs?" " For breathing." "Finally the monster is being attacked." "What is it?" "Did you drown?" "No." "Bleed to death?" "No." "Then you're still alive?" "Yes." "Good." "What are lungs?" "They're the two parts of the lung, like wings." "So they can fly away in case of an emergency." "So how was the vacation?" " Nice." "Thank you." "But Hanna was sick twice." "So she lay around the pool reading." "Enjoy." "And are you well again now?" " Yes." "I'm feeling well again." "143/91." "Most of the time, I lay by the pool, reading." "And there was often a man in the pool, doing laps." "I watched him from my lounger." "Even when I didn't want to." "I wanted to read." " Water!" "But I couldn't concentrate on the book, because my eyes always wandered back to the pool." "So I..." " The bottle's whistling!" "It's singing!" "Now it's not singing anymore." "I couldn't finish a single sentence." "Unless they were really interesting sentences." "I barely understood the book." "Now Clara's singing." "How was the movie?" " Good." "Grandma saved Mum." " Very good." "Last time I went to see a movie, I was alone in the theater." "The projectionist showed the film anyway." "I suddenly got the creeps that no one was sitting in front of or behind me." "I took my scarf and put it on." "So if somebody cut my throat from behind, the scarf would be between my skin and the knife." "Would you like some more wine?" " Yes." "You have a bloodstain on your shirt." "Yes, true." "What are you doing?" "I'm checking whether the wound smells the way it looks." "If it did, I'd like the smell." "And?" "Does it smell that way?" " No." "Too bad." "You're not eating." "When we got here, a small boy with a ball was standing next to us." "He said he knew what was going on." "He pointed at somebody taking a basket out of a van." "He said it was a basket for snakes." "He said if the man played high notes, the snake would rise." "And if he played low notes, it would go down again." "If he played high and low notes at once, the snake would get mad and bite him." "There's a moth on your plate." " True." "Stop it!" "The cat is eating the moth." "Right." "What happened?" " The sausage squirted." "Now you have a grease stain and a blood stain." "I'll get you a clean shirt." " Thank you." "I just meant to cut it." "What are you doing to the sausage?" "It's attacking us." "We have to kill it!" "It's already dead." "Apparently not entirely yet." "So how do you cut it?" " Put bread on it, and pierce the sausage through the bread." "So it squirts into the bread." "I'd like to see that." "Yes." " It works." "Then put the bread back, so other people can eat the greasy bread." "This really seems a little uncanny to me." "What are you doing?" "I was at a restaurant for lunch today." "I go there a lot." "The dog stays outside and whines." "I sit with strangers." "The light is way too harsh and it's crowded." "I'd be ashamed to go there with other people." "But of all places," "I like this one best." "I'll get going." "You alright?" "Your light." "Right." "See you later." " See you later." "See you soon." " See you soon." "That morning, the little boy wakes up late." "He probably already turned off his alarm." "It probably smells bad in his room, because the air has passed through his lungs several times." "Green air has turned red." "People who enter his room can smell the scent of his lungs." "He lies quietly in his bed and lets the red air calm him down." "Suddenly, his alarm rings." "The little boy turns over and looks at it." "Then the mother opens the door, enters, and switches off the alarm." "Then she sits down on the bed." "The boy keeps looking at the alarm clock." ""It doesn't smell in your mom today," says the mother." ""My lungs have lost their smell," the boy replies." ""I've breathed out all the scent particles. "" "The boy's eyes are directed at the alarm clock and fill with water." ""Why are you crying?" the mother asks." ""I'm not allowed to blink with scentless lungs, "" "replies the boy, who really doesn't blink anymore." ""Then I won't blink anymore either, " the mother says." "Without blinking they lie and sit there, and agree that the smell has disappeared from the boy's lungs." "Forever." "It's taking you ages!" "Leave the light!" "Here." "Could you sort the drill bits?" "Shall I put it in the fridge?" " Yes, just put it in the fridge." "That was a nice shirt." "You have to tuck it in." " Could you sort these?" "The shirt?" " Yes, it's too long otherwise." "What's too long?" " His shirt." "You're abusing the magic dancing bottle." "We're running late." "Ten, nine, eight, seven..." "Now it'll never dance again." " Who?" "The bottle." "Four, three, two, one." "Now we're too late." "Do you have a pen?" " What for?" "What was that?" "Stop it!" "What's up?" "The fuse blew." "The cork popped off the bottle and hit the light bulb." "Really?" "I saw it, heard it and felt it." " I heard it and felt it." "Seems like the glass bottle is the sausage's sister." "Do you have a black pen?" " Yes." "Why the sausage's sister?" "Because sausage and bottle are attacking us." "Careful." "Very good." "What happened?" "Attack of the glass bottle." "Attack of the glass bottle?" "Mum filled the bottle with sparkling water?" "And put it on the table." "Then the cork blew..." "Yes, here, don't forget this." " But that's mine." "Is it far from here?" "Should I wake Grandma?" "I'll just go get my jacket." "Stop it!"