"You never know where life's gonna take you." "This is especially true when you've got a friend like Penny Parker." "So I wasn't too surprised when she called one day and told me she had inherited a mansion and would I mind coming to look the place over." "But she only stayed there one night." "And after that, she had the place locked up, wouldn't tell anybody what happened to her." "That was almost 20 years ago." "So Uncle Fred told Cousin Malcolm..." "There was a long story behind the way Penny came into her inheritance." "And she was in no hurry to shorten it." "I was in Aspen for the weekend..." "In high school geometry, I learned the shortest distance between two points is a straight line." "But when telling a story, Penny always takes the scenic route." " He just graduated from law school" " Hold it." "I hear a point coming up." "Anyway, he told me how Aunt Betty's estate goes to the nearest female relative on her 25th birthday." "And today is my 25th birthday, and I'm the closest female relative, and before I know it, I'm an heiress." "Isn't that wild?" "And it was Penbrook who told me that the house is haunted." " Now, we agreed!" " Okay, okay." "I won't say any more." "Just talking about ghosts gives me the shivers anyway." "Penny, I'm sorry." "The supernatural is just an easy way to explain what we can't understand." "Well, at least it won't be so scary with you there to look after me." " See anything?" " It's too dark." "Oh, sorry." "Thought you folks were trick-or-treaters." "Hi, we're here about the Parker house." "I'm Penny." " The lawyer told me you'd drop by." " This is my friend MacGyver." "Sylvia Lang." "I've got the keys to the house right back here." "The gas and water have been turned on and the water's working, but the pipes are liable to be a little rusty." "You folks sure take Halloween seriously around here." "The kids like it." "Oh, by the way, the phone company says they won't be able to send out a man until next week." "But I have a friend over there and they may do better." "Pardon the rush, but I've got to finish the sheriff's re-election ad in time for the next edition, or he'll be steaming." "Did you know my Aunt Betty?" "Oh, everybody in town knew Crazy Betty." "Crazy?" "You mean, like, fun-loving and carefree?" "I mean crazy." "Loopy as a loon." "Oh, Betty was a nice sort of crazy, but she was crazy." "Especially near the end." " When did she die?" " Oh, nobody knows for sure." "Betty disappeared a couple of years after her daddy was gunned down by some gangster friends who tried to muscle in on his business." "Aunt Betty's father was a gangster?" "Bootlegger." "Made the best white lightning in the state." "When they repealed Prohibition, he moved into the gambling racket." "Got blasted full of holes for his trouble." " Oh, how awful." " It pushed Betty right over the edge." "She stayed shut up in that old house all alone." "One day, she just left town for good." "That was in '58." "Thirty years to the day, in fact." "On Halloween night." " They never found her, huh?" " Not a trace." "Even called in the fbi." "After seven years, they declared her dead." "Have you ever heard any weird stories about the house?" " You mean about it being haunted?" " I told you." "Every child in these parts tells stories about the old Parker place being haunted." "Of course, they outgrow it eventually." "Sounds good." "Thanks for your help." "Can we stop and pick up some things at the grocery store?" "Sure." "Betty?" "What a creepy place." "Oh, it's just an old house." "What's the matter?" "Just my imagination." "I" "I have a right to be jumpy." "I am an heiress." " I guess I am nervous." " Here, let me try." "You first." "Hey, Penny, come on in." "Take a look." "See?" "Told you." "Nothing to be afraid of." "That's easy for you to say." "I'm the one who found out that I'm related to a gangster and a madwoman." "Well, you know, that doesn't surprise me." "What?" "What I mean is, every family's got a black sheep in the pack." "Any black sheep in your family?" "You're looking at him." "Why don't you take a look around?" "I'm gonna unload the jeep." " Promise you won't be too long?" " I'll be right outside." "Oh, man." "Penny!" " Penny, I'm locked out." " Oh, wait till you see what I found." "I bet this was Aunt Betty's room." "Look at the wallpaper and linens." "Everything's so beautiful and feminine." "It's like nothing's been touched in here for years." "MacGyver, we could be the first people to set foot in here since she disappeared." "I don't think so." "There's not enough dust." "It's like somebody's been keeping it up." "But who?" "This is spooky." "Look at all these dresses." "Oh, these are beautiful." "Boy, Aunt Betty had expensive taste." "Looks like she could have used a good diet, though." "Where have I heard that before?" "Oh, no." "Oh, wow." "MacGyver, look at this." "MacGyver?" "This isn't funny." "MacGyver?" "Surprise!" "For the birthday girl." " You shouldn't have." " Oh, yes, I should have." "And you even made it yourself." " How could you tell?" " Well, it's a little crooked." "Yeah, I guess it got a little squished underneath my pack." "I wanted to surprise you." "Chocolate mint and banana icing." "You even remembered my favourite." "Yeah." "Who could forget a combination like that?" "Happy birthday, Penny." "You know you didn't have to do this." "I mean, just being here so I don't have to be in this creepy old house by myself is the best birthday present I could ever ask for." "Just make a wish." "Please?" "Thank you." "Oh, the diary." " What diary?" " This diary." "I found it hidden in my Aunt Betty's music box." "By the way, are you any good at fixing music boxes?" " "A Penny for Your Thoughts"?" " My name's on it." "This is getting really weird." "It is only a book, Penny." "No, it's not just a book." "It's this whole house." "Haven't you noticed how it closes in on you?" "Like you're being watched all the time." "It's thinking like that that's gonna drive you absolutely nuts." "Now, repeat after me." "There's no such thing as ghosts." "There's no such thing as ghosts." " Come on." "There's" " There's no such thing as ghosts." "There's no such thing as ghosts." "What was that?" "MacGyver?" "Go on back inside." "I'll find the fuse box and try and get the lights back on." "No sense in both of us getting soaked." "No way." "I'm not going back in that house." "I'd rather drown." "Growing up, we used to hear stories about an old Indian burial ground here." "First time anybody's ever found part of it, though." "Well, I don't think the Indians had dentists." "At least none that used gold crowns." "Well, I'll be." "Never noticed that before." "You an archaeologist, Mr. MacGyver?" " No, not professionally." " Too bad." "Have to wait for the state boys to send us one." "Took forever to clean the kitchen." "Oh, Penny, this is Sheriff Howels." "Cliff Howels at your service, ma'am." "Pleasure to meet the new lady of Parker house." "Well, I feel more like the gravekeeper." "Would you like a cup of coffee, sheriff?" "Thank you kindly." "Doctor says it doesn't agree with me." " It's hard on my stomach." " That's what he's always saying." "I got to get back to town and make some calls about your friend here." "You're not gonna let that old skull just lie there, are you?" "A few more days won't hurt any." "Maybe that thing is my Aunt Betty." "I wouldn't get too excited." "We've been looking for Betty for 30 years." "Never found nothing but dead ends." "No, you'd be about as lucky to find Amelia Earhart or Jimmy Hoffa, maybe." "We'll let the experts tell us." "Meantime, I'd appreciate it if you folks would make sure nobody tampers with the remains." "Don't worry." "I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole." "You know, for someone who's been working on a case for 30 years, you'd think he'd get a little excited." " Did you read this?" " I wish my handwriting was that neat." "Yeah, look what happens later on." "Then she was mad." "I don't know what psychiatrists would say, but something happened to her." "You know, I wish there was some way of finding out whether or not that is Aunt Betty we found." " Maybe there is." " How?" "I'll need to pick some stuff up." "Want to come along?" "No, that's okay." "You go ahead." "I never really got a chance to explore this place anyway." "Besides, it's not nearly as spooky in the daytime." " Sure?" " I'm sure." "I think." "Boy, this is the weirdest family reunion I've ever been to." "1958, that's when Cloverton was really something." "Big tourist industry, until they moved the highway." "My father ran the paper then." "You know, if that skull did turn out to be Betty Parker, it'd be the biggest news to hit these parts since, well, since she disappeared." "Sheriff Howels didn't seem too optimistic." "Well, you got to understand." "Clifford inherited that job from his father," "less than a month before Betty disappeared." "It's one case he's never been able to solve." "And don't think he doesn't get his share of ribbing about it, especially around election time." "You find what you're looking for?" "Well, there's lots of stories about Betty Parker's disappearance, but I can't find a single picture." "Oh, that can't be." "Take a look." "Now, who'd want to go and do a thing like that?" "Better question might be, "Why?"" ""The house is alive." "I can feel it." "It watches me." "Follows my every move." "I'm doomed to wander here, alone for all eternity." "Alone with the monster."" "The monster?" "MacGyver, you genius." "There's no such thing as ghosts." "There's no such thing as ghosts." "Oh, he'd better be right." "Stop it!" "Please be over." "Please be over." "Don't do that." "MacGyver, you nearly scared me to death." "Well, we nearly went together." "What on earth are you doing in there?" "I found some more bones in here." "It's definitely a woman." "Well." "Well, that's wonderful news." "I mean, between you and those horrible noises..." "What noises?" "In the house." "Don't tell me that you didn't hear them." "Oh, it's probably the plumbing." "The plumbing does not bang on walls and drag things around and moan." "And the music box." "Please tell me that you fixed it." "MacGyver." "Oh, that does it." "I just want to pack up my things right now, and I want to go home." "Penny, whatever's going on around here has got nothing to do with ghosts or goblins or the supernatural." "There is a purely logical explanation for everything." "Really?" "Well, that would sound a lot more reassuring if you weren't holding a human skull." "Is this okay?" "Yeah, that's perfect." "Very perfect." "You didn't find a picture of your Aunt Betty, did you?" "No." "Nothing." "You know, even her portrait was cut out." "Like someone wanted to get rid of all trace of her." "Well, then, I guess I'm gonna have to work blind." "How can you find out what a person looks like just from a skull?" "Well, these erasers will help judge the thickness of the skin." "Then I build up from there." "It's kind of like three-dimensional connect-the-dots." "Well, sounds like it's gonna be a long night." "I'm gonna go make some coffee." ""They're all trying to kill me." "I can't trust anybody." "He wants me to see Dr. Simms." "He says it's for my own good, but I know it's a lie." "Dr. Simms is a butcher." "He can't make me go to him." "I won't let him." "I won't--"" "Boy, it gets hard to read." "You know, from the looks of it, she could hardly hold the pen." "You're beat." "Why don't you get some sleep?" "I'll let you know when this is done." "Oh, maybe you're right." "I just hope all this doesn't give me nightmares." "Good night." "Betty." " What was that for?" " You know." "The flowers." "I mean, you did put them in my room, didn't you?" "Penny, I think you're right." "There is something weird going on around here." "What do you mean?" " MacGyver, it's me." " Not quite." "Penny, say hello to your Aunt Betty." "Now, you might think it's funny." "But I don't appreciate Halloween pranks." "Trust me, sheriff." "This is not a prank." "The last thing I need is a couple of amateurs getting in the way of police work." "MacGyver's not an amateur." "Well, actually, I am." "Do you two know the penalty for tampering with state evidence?" "Oh, ulcers be hanged." "It's too early in the day to deal with this nonsense without a coffee." " Do you want another one?" " Sure." " Want some sugar?" " Yes, please." "You know, we're really sorry." "We didn't mean to cause any trouble." "Yeah, I'm sure you didn't, ma'am." "Sheriff, maybe what we did was wrong, but this skull should be enough to get the state forensic lab interested." "Interested enough to laugh in my face." "I don't think they'd laugh if they saw the diary." "Diary?" "Oh, we found Betty Parker's journal." "As far as we can tell, it ended about the time she disappeared." "She was always writing about how everybody was trying to kill her." "Really paranoid." " You know, this is bitter." " Poor Betty." "Her mind just went." "Just kept getting worse and worse." "She wouldn't let anybody help her." "Not even me." "Well, did she ever see a psychiatrist?" "No." "She didn't trust shrinks." "Well, there was a Dr. Simms mentioned in her diary." "I don't recall the name." "I'd like to see this diary." "Where is it, Penny?" "Penny?" "Penny?" "The diary." "Where is it?" "The diary?" "The diary." "I think it's upstairs." "I'll go get it." "Strange girl." "Very strange." "What have we got here?" " Is this what she's looking for?" " Oh, yeah." "That's it." "She's a Parker, all right." "Strung tighter than a fiddle string, all of them." "I don't know." "Maybe it is this house." "Or maybe it's in the Parker blood." "Home." "I've come home." "Betty." "No, get away from me." "Penny?" "Penny?" "Penny?" ""E. P. and C. H."" "There's no such thing as ghosts." "There's no such thing as ghosts." "Penny?" "No, please don't hurt me!" "Please don't hurt me!" " Penny, what's the matter--?" " Stay away from me!" "It's me." "It's MacGyver." "It's all right." "Oh, MacGyver." "Oh, it is you." "I saw it." "Wait." "What are you talking about?" "The monster." " What are you talking about?" " No." "No." "MacGyver." "Don't!" " Here." " No!" "MacGyver, don't hurt him." "What?" "It's okay." "I'll look after him now." "Give me the ice bag." "Thanks." "Virgil didn't mean to hit you so hard." " Virgil?" " He doesn't know his own strength." "You know, he carried me all the way down here after I fainted." " He's very protective." " Yeah." "This, I know this." "Oh, I feel like there's a cannon going off in my head too." "You know, I don't know what's wrong with me." "I was so out of it before." "Virgil thought I might hurt myself." "Thought I might fall out a window or something." "Yeah, well he was right." "The sugar you put in your coffee?" "It was laced with some kind of organic compound, probably a hallucinogen like mescaline, maybe." " Well, who would want to drug me?" " That's what I'd like to know." "So this is where Betty's father made his bootlegging fortune, huh?" "It's all right, Virgil." "He won't hurt it." "So you worked on this, huh?" "It's my job." "I make the juice." "Betty liked the juice." "When he saw me in town, he thought Aunt Betty had come home after all these years." "You saw all those pictures." "I think Virgil had a crush on Betty." "So he came down here to get the still running again." "That explains all your mysterious noises." "If she was drinking this stuff, no wonder she went mad." "Well, it sure didn't help." "I don't think it was the alcohol." "It was lead poisoning." "See all the patches on these condensing tubes?" " They're made out of lead." " What does that mean?" "Well, it means that every drop of the moonshine was contaminated." "There was so much lead phosphide on her skeleton that it sparked when I scraped it with my knife." "So she was poisoning herself without even knowing it?" "And lead poisoning affects the brain, which explains her paranoid behaviour." " Then that's how she died." " No, I don't think so." "From the fractures I saw on her skeleton, I'd say she died in a fall." "I think Virgil knows more about that than anyone." "It's all right, Virgil." "You can tell me." "What happened to Betty?" "He killed her." "After 30 years, it's almost a relief to have it over." "Betty called me." "She said Virgil was out of control." "When I got here, the two of them were fighting in her room." "I saw Virgil throw Betty out the window." " No!" " Oh, Virgil." "Nobody blames you." "You've been protecting him all these years?" "Well, when my father died, I promised I'd look after Virgil." "I couldn't let him be locked away like an animal." "Don't you see?" "He's my brother." "I had no choice." "Well, I'm sure that's what Howels wanted you to think." "What's that supposed to mean?" " This was in Betty's room." " I found that in the window box." "There's an inscription on the inside band." ""Forever." "E. P. and C. H."" "Elizabeth Parker and Cliff Howels?" "Probably fell off when you pushed her out the window 30 years ago, huh?" "Sylvia, have you ever heard of a Dr. Simms?" "Simms?" "Oh, yes, that scandal was on the front page for months." " What scandal?" " He was caught performing abortions." "All those big dresses in Betty's closet." "Aunt Betty was pregnant." "You'd just been elected sheriff." "An insane woman carrying your illegitimate child." "You couldn't afford that kind of scandal." "Nonsense." "Virgil killed her." "No!" "I tried to save her." "He was hurting her." "I tried to stop him." "She fell." "I tried." "I really tried." "He said it was my fault." "So help me, Cliff, if any of this is true." "I'm sorry, Sylvia." "I truly am." "Virgil was my only way out." "Come on, Howels, put the gun away before someone gets hurt." " It's over." " You're right, Mr. MacGyver." "It is over." "For all of you." "This will heat things up." "Give my love to Betty." "Next time you see her." "Virgil, is there another way out of here?" " No." " No?" "MacGyver, it's getting hot in here!" "Yeah, it's gonna get a lot hotter when the pressure blows this boiler and ignites all this moonshine." "Everything in this room is gonna be fried to a crisp." "Unless we can use that pressure to our advantage." "You can see where the lime seeped into the rock here." "That means the upper part of this wall is aboveground." "MacGyver, we're all gonna die and you're giving us geology lessons." "Virgil, I need your help." "We're gonna need to cap this." "Can you find something for me?" "Come on." "Is it too much to ask what you're doing?" "With any luck, making a torpedo." "But we need something to aim it with." "Here, you and Sylvia tie these two pipes together so they form a cross." "Is this right?" "That's perfect, Virgil, make sure it's tight." " What are you doing?" " Building up more pressure." "But that'll kill us." "MacGyver knows what he's doing, don't you?" "The brass patch has a lower melting point than the steel boiler plate." "If I build up enough heat and pressure, the brass will rupture first." "Send enough steam into that pipe to blow it through that rock." "I hope." "I can't believe this." "All right, that'll do it." "Virgil, grab that pipe, follow me." "Set it right in there." "Up a little, right over the patch." "That'll do it." "Everybody hide behind those barrels!" "Virgil." "No!" "Oh, I can't believe it." "Oh, MacGyver, you did it." "I'd say we did it." "Look." "Oh, God, how horrible." "Why didn't he get out of the car?" "I guess he didn't have time." "Or maybe someone stopped him from getting out of the car." "I don't think the police will press charges." "Sylvia had no way of knowing that Howels was using her." "And Virgil, well, his only crime was being in love with Betty Parker." "You know, I can't help feeling sorry for him." "Yeah." "I know what you mean." "I guess Aunt Betty can finally rest in peace." "Yeah." "And so can we." "And maybe you can give up this notion of believing in ghosts." "Well, I'm not so sure." "Penny, it's like I told you." "There is a sane, rational explanation for everything that happened here." "Is that so?"