"Don't do this." "Save it for the hearing." "It's not what Charlie wants." " Good morning." " Good morning." " Good morning." " I'm Mr. Stein." "I'll be presiding at this consent and capacity hearing." " Which of you is Dr. Bell?" " I am." "Dr. Bell, because you submitted your application first, you and your lawyer will be presenting first." "Dr. Reid, you and your lawyer will have the opportunity to ask questions afterwards." "No cross-talk." "Let's begin." "T.G.I.F." "Excuse me?" "This girl is freaky." " Plans this weekend?" " Work out and sleep." "Ah, sleeping -- lucky." "My sister and her cute but very colicky baby are coming to stay with me." "Rub it with soft sponges." "Little orange suckers." " Huh." " Swimming through medical school." "Yeah, I was hoping you could do me one better." "Can I stay at your place?" " At my place." " It's not a step towards anything." "Don't freak out." "It's just a couple nights." "I'm not freaking out." "Um, can I think about it?" "What's there to think about?" "I just " " I don't know." "Haven't solidified any plans." "Oh." "Your plans suck." "This is Charlie and I hiking in Colorado." "He once said that if he couldn't do this, he wouldn't want to live." "He once told me he couldn't live without pie." "This proves that Dr. Harris valued a certain... active quality of life." "It's not proof of anything other than the fact that he went on a vacation." "It's all useful." "We're trying to establish Dr. Harris' values and his wishes." "Let's move on." "Here's an e-mail dated June 2, 2003." "Thank you." "Charlie wrote," ""Just got back from the I.C.U., seeing my osteosarcoma man." "Feeding tube, respirator, the whole nine yards." "Don't let me go out like that, darling." "Promise."" "Two months ago, you came to me, you looked me in the eye, and you said, "Try everything."" "You begged me, and now I'm doing all of that." "Why?" "Why the 1 80?" "Well, this is the thing." "We have tried everything, and he's just degenerating." "His hand moved." "Once." "Two months ago." "Involuntary movement happens in a persistent vegetative state." "He's minimally conscious." "If that's the best that we can hope for, then, there is no hope." "I feel that Charlie is here." "I'm guided by that in everything I do." "I know he wants to be kept alive." "I believe that Charlie would wanna die with dignity." "He's still alive." "And he'd wanna be kept that way." "I have chart extracts from two of Charlie's patients who became comatose." "It shows that he's supportive of a full code status." "Do you have, uh, consent for the release of his patient information?" "Yes, I do." "He's in the I.C.U." "He's had pneumonia." "He's a 6 on the Glasgow coma scale." "He's basically a horizontal corpse." "I know that sounds horrible, but that's how Charlie would have seen it." "I see him every day, Dawn, unlike you, and I know he's here because I'm here." "Dr. Reid wants to keep him alive because she can't bear to let him go." "She's too close to him to see what Charlie would have wanted." "How?" "How can you be too close to the person you love?" "The day of the accident, Charlie came to me, and he asked me how many children I wanted to have." "Charlie is a doctor." "Above everything, he heals people, and as chief of surgery, he never gave up on a patient, ever." "Now he's the patient." "He wouldn't want us to give up on him." "I have butterflies." "New heart." "Pretty big deal." " I heard Dr. Bell is petitioning " " Not the time." "You see me." " Yeah." " Ohh." "They're taking my heart, man." "You won't need it." "The big risk is that the body could reject the heart." "The immune system sees it as a foreign object and starts fighting it immediately." "Dr. Reid?" "You okay?" "Yeah." "I'm fine." "Fine." "More importantly, how are you feeling?" "Well, I'm about to have a heart transplant." "True, but it is the simplest cardiac surgery you can have, believe it or not." "Poor Grace." "I propose, she says "Yes," and I get sick." "I can't believe she's still around." " She loves you." " I'm a lucky guy." "Hi." "What else do we need to do?" "I'm " " I can't believe I forgot my list." "I'm a Virgo." "That's what she does." "She makes lists to remind her to make lists." "Shut up and hold my hand." "Dergeant Hellard." " I'm Dr. Goran." " Hey." "Jimmy." "You're the one that came in with the heart transplant." "Yeah." "Yeah, but I'm leaving with a kidney, so I figured I might as well get this back checked out while I wait." "Well, what's happened with your back?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's, uh, really killing me." "I must have tweaked it, you know, driving, whatever." "Right." "Well, let's take a look at her, then." "Take a seat up here." "You'll have to lift up your shirt." "Is that thing loaded?" "That's what she said." "All right." "So does the pain radiate from your lower back?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Goes down my whole leg." "And what about your bladder habits?" "Notice any changes lately?" "I am proud to say I still pee standing up." "Well, that's a pride you should maintain." "What about sexual function?" "Anything different?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "You're getting a little personal, Doc." "Can't you just write me a ticket?" "You know, from your little pad?" "Script?" "Well, this is a surgical consult, and I don't know what's wrong with you yet." "But we'll get you an M.R.I." "You hang tight." "Hey." "The, uh, heart I came in with " "Who's getting it?" "Uh, some nice young kid, apparently." "What about the donor?" "Some guy's who's doing time in Maplehurst." " Prisoner?" " Yeah." "Got into a fight." "Someone caved his head in with a barbell." "Hey." "What's the most gruesome thing you've ever seen on the job?" "Guy walked in off the street and his head fell off." "That's pretty good." "That's my heart, my kidney, my spleen." "That's disgusting, by the way." "That's your lungs and your liver, too." "You're dead." "Still mine." "Besides, what anybody ever do for me?" " You signed the organ donor card." " No, I didn't." "I don't sign things." "What, just as a rule, you don't sign things?" "That's right." "Well, they probably called your family, then." "My family." " They get paid for this?" " No, they don't." "Why not?" "My organs aren't worth nothing?" " Is that what you're saying?" " No, but th-that's not the point." "I mean, look, you die, they gut you like a fish." "It's the gift of life." " Really?" " Yep." " That's all right." " Yeah." "Doing a very good thing, so godspeed." "What, am I going somewhere?" "Uh..." "Yeah, you should be, any minute now." " Hey, what's he getting?" " Uh, your heart, probably." "Well, he's so young." "What's he need a new heart for?" "I don't know." "Uh, Bernie, I'm gonna " " I'll see you around." " How did the hearing go?" " I don't know." "And, uh, what's the deal with the transplant?" "I diagnosed this guy a year ago." "Total fluke." "He'd be dead in a month without this heart." "Things are gonna work out." "Alex... if you need " "You're gonna be nice." "Don't do it." "Well, I'm around, okay?" "Yeah." "Almost done." "Okay." "Lungs back on." "Turn the blood pressure down." "Lungs on." "Pressure's coming down." "Have you ever scrubbed in for a transplant before?" " No." " Well, you're in for a treat." " Where's Dr. Levine?" " He's on his way." "Let's keep rolling." "And there we are." "Why is Dr. Bell scrubbing in?" "This can't be happening." "Okay." "All right, first, we'll open the pericardium and do a bicaval cannulation." "Cautery forceps to me." "Dr. Levine is out." "He ate a bad oyster." "He's barfing in his car." "I didn't know you had privileges here." "Uh, they e-mail every year, send a check." "I'm Dawn, everyone." "I do everything Dr. Levine does, only faster." "Where are we at?" "Dr. Reid's just opened the sternum." "Good, 'cause she's in my spot." "Hey." "Nice place." "Yeah." "It's, uh, it's quiet." "Yeah, quiet's good." "Usually." "Uh, listen, you know, normally, I'm up for this whole, uh, meeting new people thing, but not today." "Yeah?" "Why not today?" "I mean, if this is what I think it is, and today's the same as yesterday, unless I'm mistaken, we can walk outta here anytime we want." "No." "So when you're dead, you go back to jail." "It figures." "Yeah." "Where's the new heart?" "Right here." "Okay, don't drop it." "You know, Charlie and I were pregnant once." "I think that we'd probably still be together if things had worked out." "You need a minute, Dr. Reid?" "No." "I'm fine." "All right." "Here's this bad boy." "Here you go." "Excellent." "Okay." "I'm gonna start with the left atrium." "I.V.C., S.V.C., pulmonary artery, and then the aorta, in that order." "So they're deciding whether to pull the plug on you." "Yep, pretty much." "Ooh, big day." "Yeah." "I mean, how do you face this?" "I couldn't tell you." "Took a barbell to the side of the head." "Didn't see it coming." "I meant before that." "Oh, before that." "Uh..." "just did what I had to do." "And when that didn't pan out for you?" "Did something else." "Mm." "What's up?" "Mm." "Something." "This is a new sensation." "New could be good." "I think I'm in pain." "Yeah." "I'm definitely in pain." "Good news." "No need for surgery." "Your, uh, M.R.I. shows no disc herniation and no nerve impingement." "Well, great." "So you gonna write me my script?" " You really don't need one." " I really do, actually." " I'm in a lot of pain here, Doc." " Mechanical back pain." "It's probably 'cause your core muscles need a bit of strengthening." "I'll set you up with some physiotherapy and, um, like, an exercise regimen." " Like yoga?" " Or pilates." "Come on, Doc." "Look at me." "I'm not gonna lie on the floor, roll around on a mat." "Well, I'm telling you how to fix your problem." "You wanna fix my problem?" "Write me the script." "Okay." "Thank you." "Oh." "And I can top your, uh, head falling off story, by the way." "Go into a house, little girl answers the door, turns out her mother hanged herself in the basement." "Ha." "That's good, right?" "That is pretty gruesome." "What's she looking at?" "I have an embollism." " Is that bad?" " It can be, very." "Doc Tolliver?" "Charlie's latest C.T. angio." "He's got a pulmonary embollism." "Oh, you're good." "Hmm." " Page Alex." " Okay." "Awesome." "Okay, let's unclamp him." "Wean the pump." "That is incredible." "Okay, let's go off on pump." "And we're off bypass now." "Gonna remove the lines." "I don't see any blood." "Looks good." "Give him protamine." "Glove change, please." " Dawn." " Yeah?" "There's bleeding." "You gave him the protamine?" "Yeah, I did." "Well, it's getting worse." "There's definitely a bleed here." "Okay, let me in there." "Okay, it's not the aorta." "We need to go back on pump." " We can't." " God." " Is it the P.A.?" "I'm not seeing it." " I can't get in there." "Let me look." "Let me look." "Okay." "Just hold that." "There." "There's the tear." "Okay, give me a 4-0 prolene." "A longer needle driver!" " I can't reach it with that!" " Give her an 8-inch." "He's got no blood pressure." "Okay, come on, Kyle." " I can't see it from this angle." " Yeah." "I think I've got it." " Are you sure?" " I can see it." "Okay, that artery wall is like wet tissue." "I've got it." "Okay, you get one shot." "Put a stitch in it." "Suction." "Bleeding stopped." "Give him epi." "50... 52..." " Come on." " 60." "70." "We're good." "Nice work." "Thank you." "A hat that fits the head of a newborn should not take this long to knit." "Great." "Somebody took my quesadilla." "How do you just eat somebody else's lunch, huh?" "That is a serious, serious violation." "Doctors are scavengers." "Yeah, they'll take it any way they can get it." "He's colicky." "He's gonna bawl whether he likes it or not." "How are you gonna study?" "Dr. Goran recommended an excellent brand of earplug." " Mmm." " So..." "You can crash at my place." " Really?" " Yeah." "Thank you." "You're a prince." "You know what?" "Screw it." "Gift shop." "I'm buying one of these bad boys." "So you gonna hang with Maggie and her sister this weekend?" "Uh, no." "What was that?" "Hmm?" "Maggie doesn't even wanna hang out with her." "I'm not getting involved in your whole deal." "No one's asking you to." "Well, actually, you're fishing for a kinda tacit approval from me." " I'm not giving it." " What does that mean?" "It means that you're asking me to say it's okay for you to do something when it's not." " Right." "Her friend." " Yeah." "What?" "Don't think men and women can be friends?" "Not really, no." "Interesting." " Alteplase?" " 1 0 units." "Where's the clot?" "It started in his groin, but it's moved up to his chest." "We're trying to break it up." "He'll be fine." "Pfft, pfft, pfft!" "I worked in an orthodox old age home before coming here." "It's a Jewish thing." "Hi." "Coffee, black, please." " Here you go." " Thank you." "Dawn." "Why are you doing this?" "Do you really wanna have this conversation?" "Yeah, I do." "If Charlie were any other patient, you would see this my way." "No, I..." "I wouldn't." "Dawn, you know Charlie, and he is a fighter " " Okay, that's it." " What's it?" ""He's a fighter" is something that families say or the loved ones of patients." "We as doctors -- we know that nobody is a fighter." "I don't know that." "Okay, well, you will when you get more experience." " Dawn, every patient is different." " No, they seem unique." "But the body is the body, and you need to be realistic." "Or pessimistic." "I don't get why you don't see what I'm saying." "You're saying that you wanna kill Charlie." "That is ridiculous." "No, it's not." "That is what you're saying." "And I am never gonna understand that." "You are making this about you, and it's about Charlie." "Melanda, Shahir -- they're humoring you because you're their friend, and they see how much you love him." "But the science just isn't there, Alex." "Charlie would tell you the same thing." "You're wrong." "Shouldn't have talked to you." "I was just sitting here with him, and he got really weak." "I feel awful." "It looks like your body is rejecting the heart." "Let's get him an endomyocardial biopsy to confirm the rejection." "We'll give him 1,000 milligrams of methylprednisolone." "Sounds scary." "It's just more steroids." "What does this mean?" "Don't worry." "We were ready for this." "The drugs are gonna work?" "Well, if they don't, then, we'll get him started on plasma exchange." " He's a fighter." " Excellent." "We come up here to check on him, and his body's rejecting my heart." "What?" "That's a coincidence, Bernie." "Nah, man." "It's me." "You'll page me?" "Hold on." "Can I help you?" "Officer." "Hey." "Um, is that the kid who got the heart?" "Yeah, but you really shouldn't be in here." "Can I go in and say hi?" "No, sorry, you can't." "Come on." "I just wanna say hi." "No, you really can't." "Okay." "But you tell him that, uh, Jimmy Howard stopped by." " Do you know him?" " No, I came in with the heart." "Hey, I'll tell him you were here, all right?" "Tell him best of luck from me." "I'll let him know." "Okay." "What was that?" "I don't know." "That cop is high as a kite." " You think he's gonna make it?" " I don't know." "If you were a betting man..." "I had a bad heart." "There's no such thing as a bad heart, Bernie." "You don't know me." "There are no bad hearts." "There are bad choices you make in your life." "I killed two people." "Well, maybe now's your chance to do something good." "Things change, Bernie." "People can change." "What if it's like Frankenstein?" "You know, like, what if the heart takes, and -- and he becomes like me?" "Make your peace." "With my heart?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Sure." "Why not?" "I mean, it's here." "You're here." "Why not?" "He doesn't have a lot of time, Bernie." "Listen -- listen, this is a nice guy." "So, um, all I'm saying is that you learn to ignore to -- to survive." "And let him go." "Be good, man." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "What's that?" "That's the heart monitor." "Hey, don't tell me I killed the guy, man." "No." "It's good." "It's very good." "Cardiac function is good." "We'll watch your urine output, but these are great signs." " They really are." " And the drugs are working?" "Well, we're not out of the woods yet, but looks like the heart is ticking." "Thank you." "Alex..." "I'll see you in there." "Sergeant Howard?" "Jimmy?" "Oh, hey." "You can't be sleeping in a patient bed, man." "Ohh." "Those are some heavy duty drugs you gave me there, boss." "Ohh." "Knocked me right out." " You have to drive?" " No, I'm fine." "Hey, what does this remind you of?" " Sleeping?" " Camping." "Lying out under the stars." "You ever do that?" "Yeah." "Sure, I've done a little bit of camping before." "Honestly, Sergeant, you can't be in here." "I'm a cop." "I can be anywhere I want." "So you never just take a nap, huh?" "Never?" "All these beds, I would be very tempted." "Not really." "I mean..." "What, do you sleep in the back of your cruiser?" "What, are you kidding me?" "It's filthy back there." "Yeah, there's germs everywhere." "At least germs didn't choose to be germs, right?" "Okay." "I'm going." "Hey, look, you know what?" "You're more than welcome to, um..." "I can hook you up with a -- like, a cool room, just someplace where you can nap if you..." "Guys like you and me -- we are what we do." "I'm gonna tell you the worst thing I ever saw." " I'm not kidding now " " I..." "I'm not sure that I can handle that." "Uh, well, probably smart." "You found Jimmy." "How did I end up with this guy?" "Well, you wrote him a script." "He seemed legit." "No, the guy's a mess." "What did he give you, the back or the knee?" "The back." "Figures." "Jimmy always sniffs up the new guys." "Well, somebody could have told me this." "Well, it's need-to-know, Goran." "I need to know, Miller." "Look, he's a sad case." "We help the guy out." "So why is he on ambulance duty?" "He's not." "He's basically just a chauffeur." "That's all they trust him with since he lost it." "What do you mean, he lost it?" "He shot a kid a few years ago." "A few months later, drove his cruiser into a brick wall." "Kidneys." "Ambulance is all ready for you." "Better go find Jimmy." "Thank you for waiting." "I've reviewed your statements and your documents, and I've reached a decision." "In the eyes of the court, a fiancée and an ex-wife are the same, and I find that the person best able to execute the wishes of Charlie Harris is Dr. Bell." "Dr. Reid... you obviously care deeply for him, but sometimes our feelings can't be our guide." "I am sorry." "Jimmy." "These kidneys are gonna leave without you, man." "Do you wanna put that down, come inside?" "No, I'm good here." "I really think you should put the gun... down, Jimmy." "You wanna talk to me?" "What do you wanna talk about?" "Well..." "I know what happened." "Five years ago today." "It's gotta be really tough." "To live with?" "It is." "You know, people used to look at me like I was some kind of hero." "They don't look at me like that anymore." "Why don't you tell me what you want, right now, and I'll help you?" "You already gave me what I wanted." "You mean pills?" "Jimmy, that's not the answer." "Neither is this." "Can you make things go back to how they were?" "No." "No." "I can't." "Then, you can't help me." "Okay, we can't go back." "But you can start to think about your future." "The future?" "Yes." "The future, Jimmy." "I mean, let this go." "Whatever this is..." "You gotta let it go." "Let it go?" "Things'll -- They'll get better." " Right." " I know." "And you have to believe me when I tell you this, that things are gonna get better." "You know, without that belief, you got nothing." " You're right." " Right." "Jimmy!" "Hey." "I lost." "The hearing." "What am I gonna do?" "I honestly don't think I'm the person to talk to right now." "I am -- I am terrified." "I am terrified that she's gonna pull the plug." "I..." "I just..." "I can't breathe." "It's okay." "It's okay." "No, it's not." "Well, what can I do?" "Nothing." "Alex..." "Well, this is completely out of line." "And I know this..." " Alex, I-I still..." " Don't." "Please." "Just don't." "Okay, I should go." "Code blue." "I.C.U. Room 3." "Code blue." "I.C.U. Room 3." "Get out of my way!" "Crash team's on the way." "How long has he been in V-fib?" " How long?" " Less than a minute." "Oh, Charlie." "Come on, Charlie." "Push 2 milligrams of epi." "Pushing 2 milligrams of epi." "Come on, Charlie." "Charge to 360." "Come on, Charlie." "Stay with me." "Charlie, come on!" "Come on." "Alex, you have to get off." " Everyone clear?" " Clear!" "Still in V-fib." "Charlie!" "Okay, we're going again." "Alex." "Stop!" "Stop." "What you're doing." "Melanda, do it." "Melanda, do it!" " Clear." " Clear." "Come on, baby." "Sinus rhythm." "He's got a pulse." "We did it." "Okay, baby." "He's D.N.R." "Did you break his ribs?" "I don't think so." "Because next time you will, or worse." "He's okay now, Dawn." "No, he's not okay." "Yeah, he -- he is." "I would like you to remove him from the vent." "No, don't." "Melanda, please." "Dawn, listen to me." "You just need to give him a little bit more time." "You owe him that." "Just some more time." "That's all he needs." "It's what we're doing." "No, no." "No, we are not." "Dawn." "Dawn." "Please, please." "I am begging you." "Okay, look, I can see that you are in pain." "Okay?" "And I know that your heart..." "I can't breathe, Dawn." " Is breaking, but so is mine..." " Change your mind." "Because I love him, and I have always loved him, and I have never stopped, and I know that you don't wanna hear that, but that is true." "And I can't stand to see him in there like that suffering." "So I am asking you please just let him die with some dignity." " I can't..." " No!" " I can't let him go." " No." "Hey, loner." " Excuse me?" " Did you have a bad day?" "Let me guess." "Girl problems." "Mm, not really, no." "No?" "All right, bad day at work?" "Yeah." "It's something like that." "What do you do?" " I'm a doctor." " Really?" "Mm-hmm." "Saving lives." "Well, uh, you know what the best medicine for a bad day is?" "What would that be?" "Tequila." " Hey." " Hey." " What's going on?" " I was just helping this guy." "I was about to buy the young lady a drink." "Well, the lady's my girlfriend." "I'm sorry, man." "You know..." "I was about to buy your girlfriend a drink." "This is what happens when I go to the bathroom?" "Eric, just relax." "She's probably starved for conversation, man." "What?" "Eric, don't." " What was that?" " I said..." "Judging by the way you just ambled out of the bathroom on all fours," "I'm guessing you're not much of a talker." " Ohh!" " Eric!" "Oh!" "I think you just broke my nose." "I think I just broke my hand." "Joel saw it?" "Yeah, Zach said he was standing right there, and then he just walked off." "Well..." "Ahh." "So how's things going with you guys anyways?" "I don't know." "Things are fine, I guess." "Blah, blah, blah." " You happy?" " What?" "Nothing." "Give it to me straight, Doc." "There's always a boy that likes you, and there's always a boy that you like, and they're never the same guy." "You wouldn't know what to do with somebody who really liked you back." "You probably shouldn't say that." "Yeah, you're right." "Talk is cheap." "I probably shouldn't stay at your place this weekend." "Yeah." "Okay." "* Did I speak too fast?" "*" "I should go." "* Don't you understand?" "*" "* I've got more going on *" "* And all these roads *" "We always hope for a miracle." ""Scuba dive, climb a mid-size mountain, have a threesome."" ""Skydive, paraglide, hang-glide, just glide, basically."" "The right treatment..." "A cure..." "* When you least expect *" "Or just an end to the suffering." "* I don't have the answers *" "And sometimes..." "Most times..." "All we're left with is the medicine." "Take me to the hospital." "* I don't have the answers, but I'm trying *" "* And I've tried *" "* I've tried *" "* I do *" "* And I tried *" "* I do *" "* And I tried *" "* For you, I *" "* For you, I tried *" "* I tried *" "Charlie..." " I don't know how to do this." " Me, neither." "And I don't know what to do." "I know, baby." "Because it feels like I'm giving up on you." "I know that's not true." "And I am not... giving up on you." "I know." "Oh, screw it." "I can't " " I can't do this." "I won't do this." "I will not say good-bye to you." "I won't." "Okay?" "That's my girl." "You never let me go." "Never let me go." "I'm gonna miss your hands." "I love you." "Alex." "It's time." "I'm sorry." "I know." "Charlie, I am here, okay?" "You hold on..." "Tight." "Charlie..." "Can you hear me?" "Charlie."