"motherfucker!" "i just got rid of the last." "thank fuckin' christ." "i drove up to connecticut." "good. the rump roast went in down the shore." "so the barbecue over in sheepshead bay-- that still a go?" "you know i'm not really sure where the big guy left that." "this way, sweetheart. there's something i need to get straight between us." "seriously, you look beautiful tonight." "yeah." "it's done. listen." "gee, sounds like a real weenie roast." "hey, your friend the shah was walkin' in when it happened." "him and some skifusa got blown back on their keisters." "...and last, transfer of the deed to jamba juice." " thank you." " thanks." "i'll meet you out front." "listen, i just wanted to apologize that night... it's just i make it a policy not to mix business-- no apology necessary, seriously." "good, 'cause the truth is i haven't been able to forget about you and it ain't like i haven't been tryin'." "so, you free for dinner?" "maybe?" "thanks, but i think i'll pass." "congratulations on the sale, though." ""morning sunshine," benjamin moore." "and we can do the borders with the disney characters." "makes me nervous, this stuff." "we should wait to decorate till after the baby's born." "again with the superstitions?" "remember the penguin movie, how you cried?" "you sit on an egg for months, one little thing goes wrong, you're left with nothing." "honey, i'm not adrianna." "i'm healthy." "our baby's healthy." "stop worrying and enjoy this time, okay?" "i am. let's just stop counting' the chickens." "any anesthesiologist, dial 5248." "workin' man get off okay?" "he was gone by the time i got up." "used to be he wasn't home by the time you got up." "what's the matter?" "liz la cerva tried to commit suicide. pills." "what'd she do that for?" "apparently she got a letter for ade from the salvation army." " ade's homeless?" " she made a donation every year to feed the homeless on thanksgiving." "the letter set liz off, evidently." "look i gotta say i commiserate with the woman, but-- she thinks her daughter is dead." "i told you i had another dream about ade in paris." "a french policeman told me she was dead and i had to tell her." "i know, carm." "pepe le pew-- doesn't change the fact that adrianna is missing." "it also doesn't change the fact that her mother's a bitter lush" " who can't accept reality." " what reality?" "that her daughter couldn't stand her so she moved away." "that's what you say to me two weeks after our own daughter moves away to california." "oh come on, will you stop?" "it's a different situation entirely." "i'm sorry, i'm sorry." "it's just... it's just everything all at once." "what everything?" "the holidays are coming and my spec house has gone to shit." "well, a.j.'s got a job." "he's doing better." "you raised two gorgeous kids." "you got a husband that loves you." "you made us a beautiful home." "doesn't that count for something?" "come on." "not exactly a thanksgiving day classic here, ed... the fuck?" "come on, cut it out." "he's already talkin' like a real construction worker." "yeah, funny. see how you like working out in the cold." "go check on the bird." "bring back some onion dip too." "so how's your bird these days?" "what the fuck are you talkin' about?" "come on, clandestine phone calls-- i know you got a new goomar." " what can i say, huh?" " with a pregnant wife at home." "your timing is fuckin' priceless." "playground's closed." "a man has his needs." "good point. when carmela had her spec house, i can't tell you how many nights i had to fend for myself 'cause she was out lookin' at bathroom fixtures." "so this new one-- how come you don't bring her around?" "honestly i would but... between us, she's black." " oh!" " you're bangin' a shine?" "she's hot too." "classy." "not that it would matter to paulie." "i'd still have to listen to all his racial bullshit." "yeah. she would feel it too." "hey, uncle paulie." "the fuck you doin'?" "there's my girl. come here. gimme that cheek." "i got your check." "she a doll or what?" "blanca." "hi. i'm anthony." "yeah. i just did your paperwork." " you live in jersey?" " hello." "my urologist." "i gotta take this." "soprano!" "i would've cleaned up if you gave me a minute." "you started it." "seriously, i'm sorry it's such a pigsty." "i just work a lot and i'm a pig." "gonna get a tree in here?" "i come from hanukkah people, but it doesn't do a lot for me." "so christmas eve's just another day to you?" "actually, we usually go to some incredibly shitty movie." "there's nothin' else to choose from." "makes me worried about my project." " you ruined my dress." " save it." "like monica lewinsky." "show your friends how hard you made me come." "mmm." "what are we doing here, huh?" "i don't know." "can't stop thinkin' about fucking you all the time." "how can you even like a person who sleeps with a married guy?" "can we not talk about it?" "i rushed in with her." "i thought i wanted it." "you do. and you're not giving it a chance." "you'll see eventually you'll want kids. it'll be good." "i don't want a family with her." "she's got no idea who i am." "she doesn't understand you?" "as we know, phil asked me to arrange this meeting after the fire in his wire room." "correction. you asked me to fuckin' attend." " i agreed." " fair enough." "now i won't call it a sit-down because of the inclement negative implications." "let's think of it as..." "a meeting of minds." "now for whatever reason, certain incidents have expired lately that in addition to being dangerous could have an adverse impact on our respective bottom lines." "i know vito's bottom was impacted if that's what you're referring to." "call him what you will, but you're talkin' about one of my captains." "captain?" "the good ship lollipop, right?" " phil, please." " please, my ass." "the man was a fuckin' disgrace." "well, before he came out of the closet he worked for me." "and he put a lot of money in my pocket. and yours too." "talk about earners?" "how about fat dom gamiello?" " what about him?" " he's mia." "a lot of people are concerned for his well-being." "so what the fuck would i know about that?" "well as coincidence would have it, he was last seen in new jersey." "so was the hindenburg. maybe you wanna look into that too." "tony, please." "phil." "we're getting off point." "i grew up in this, guys." "and i just lost my friend, rusty, and for reasons i will discern in time, believe me." "if there's one thing my father taught me it's this:" "a pint of blood costs more than a gallon of gold." "my business, all of our businesses-- this infighting's costing money." "i'm willing to move forward, let the past be bygones." " fine with me." " a wise decision on both your parts." "now what i'd love to see is a truce." "wipe the slate clean." "the no-shows, the wire room, vito-- put it all behind us." "yeah." "your brother billy, whatever happened there-  all right then." " "whatever happened there?"" " the shooting." " "whatever happened there?"" " god rest his soul, huh?" " i'll tell you what fuckin' happened." " this piece of shit's cousin put six bullets..." " calm down, phil." "...in the kid without any provocation whatsoever!" " my cousin's dead." " fuck you!" "phil, we were making headway here. i didn't mean to say-- fuck what you mean, cocksucker!" "come on." "jesus christ, carmine." "what the fuck?" "why would you possibly bring that up?" "he's holdin' the board, looking the other way." "so the nail gun goes off, bam!" "right through the dude's cheek." "oh, fuck." " passaic." " what?" "where i live." "you asked me." "right." "why you ask me that?" "you gonna come over, take me on a date?" "yeah, absolutely." "i got a son, hector." "he's three." "wow, that's cool." "you're gonna call me, right?" "hey-- there's only six numbers." "i left the last one off." "you wanna find me, you're gonna have to work for it." "you have an emergency call on two." "oh my god." "pop?" "guess who." " that's not funny." " had to get your attention." "well you had my attention. now you're wasting my time. i have to go." "hold on. you got a warehouse listed on panama that used to be a uniform supply. what's the asking?" "three and a quarter." "can i go now?" "i was driving by. i thought it had some potential." "but it's really 9,400 square feet of leaky tarpaper roofs and clotted galvanized plumbing and no foot traffic to speak of." "ease up on the hard sell there." "i'm thinking-- you get the seller to knock something meaningful off the asking, i fix it, you flip it." "look, whatever happened, we did make some money together, right?" " you serious about this?" " oh, you never do shit like that?" "i'll get back to you." "i was up for anything." "he signed the escrow papers and i'm not sure what happened but he..." "left." "it was so fucking humiliating and i was so worked up. i just needed to smooth it out." "so there's the cristal." "i mean it could've been worse, given my history." "it could've been junk." "julie, right?" " julianna." " christopher." "i liked your share in there, seriously." "i'm glad..." "or sorry i guess." "kinda similar situation with my job." "i really get that rush when it's working." "i don't think i've ever heard you share in there." "not a judgment, by the way." "you learn as much from others." "i split my time at n.a. too." "junk's another thing, huh?" "tell me about it." " you look familiar." " pork store there, satriale's." "oh, right." "wow, cool." "so i guess i'll see you." "or maybe next week, here." "wait. you wanna go for coffee?" "well... okay." "wanna follow me to that dive on sip and jfk?" "for some people, depression is a form of forced introversion." "and in lincoln's case, it was extremely painful." "but it's out of that forced introversion" " that comes the abraham lincoln..." " where you been?" " linda merola's." " ...who's the successful president." "i left you a message. the annual christmas toy drive." " how was it?" " it was nice. we gave an x-box." "so, stan klimik was there." "ruth's husband?" "he works for kroll." "the private eyes?" "he does their computers." "anyway, i was telling him about ade and he said we should hire professionals to track her down." " carm-- - it's not as expensive as you might think, tony." "he gave me his card." "look, it's not about the money." "did you ever think that maybe it's an intrusion into ade's personal life?" "but what if she's in trouble, tony?" "stan said they had this case once-- this guy ran out on his child support." "he was a hiking enthusiast, missing 12 years and they tracked him down to a watering station in the mojave desert." "carmela's spec house?" "i need you to go lean on that building inspector." " leave it alone, you said." " do it today, for all our sakes." "my wife needs a career." "tony, hey." "seasons greetings." "good holidays to your family, huh?" "yeah, you too." "well it's bigger than i thought." "i got close with a developer who thought he could do apartments, some light retail, but we snagged on some zoning issues." "let me worry about that." "so who's this fiancé you were telling me about?" "jesus, what the fuck do you want here?" " just move on, huh?" " i was confused, okay?" " i'm not now." " what a coincidence, 'cause that's exactly how i feel." "take all the time you need." "just stick it in the lock box." "it's only the latest draft." "guy who wrote it-- i met him at a meeting." "jt dolan, big user." "you can tell." "it's relentless." "yeah, it's a work in progress." "i didn't mean it like that." "there's a lot in it." "are you sure about the title, "cleaver"?" "the jerry mathers connection?" "rules of success for pictures like this?" "one-word titles: "saw," "hostel," "cleaver."" "but michael-- he knows it's the boss right away?" "you might want to make more of a mystery out of it." "maybe." "this boss, he's a really rough-- is anthony soprano like that?" "he's just a jumping-off point for the character." "he's got some similarness." "like he thinks everything's his." "but it's not." "i can't get into it but there are some rules." "thank you. don't get into it. i don't wanna know." "it's just weird, you know?" "being where he's been." "he hasn't been anywhere." "nothing happened." "i told you that." "don't matter. he's been there in his mind." "ugh. fine." "you're right. guy's got a lot more on his mind than this." "like whether or not to have that third sandwich." "i'm not a fucking parking spot." "ow." "don't get me wrong, i loved dom more than anybody." "my point is we don't know if tony was behind this." "it was payback for vito." "so why the fuck did they blow up the wire room?" "the balls on this prick." "to blow up a store-- you call that balls?" "balls is you look a guy in the eye while you jam an ice pick through his lung." "i meant balls as in "nerve," "gall."" "i know what the fuck you meant." "far as i'm concerned, this is like 9-11." "tony wanted our attention. fine." "he got our attention. now we wipe him off the planet." "you know that fat cocksucker says i look like the shah of iran?" " who does?" " tony." " i never got that at all." " fat piece of shit." "it's irrelevant, phil. but he's testing' you all the time." "and you keep indulging him." "you're right." "but whack a boss?" "i won't do that." " it's been done before." " and it was wrong then." "eye for an eye then, huh?" "pick somebody over there." "white trash motherfuckers in narcotics anonymous-- fucking "jerry springer show."" "the fuck with your whining tonight?" "listen-- been involved with this girl." "in there-- that's the place to share." "it's complicated." "remember that real estate agent tony was dealing with?" "the jewish one?" "fuckin' a. he planted the flag. i'd back off." "no, he didn't do shit, she said." "he wanted to and then never pulled the trigger." "okay, it's touchy but okay." "i don't know if it's okay but fuck him and what he don't know, you know?" "so what's the problem?" "she's in recovery." "junk." "her?" "fuckin' movie of the week." "listen to me. that last run you went on, beginning with the feast?" "how hard you had to work to get back from that?" "civilians-- their bosses find out they slipped, they get a plane ticket to minnesota." "tony will fuckin' mulch his roses with what's left of you." "she's solid now." "years sober." "we fuckin' met at a meeting." " that never happens to me." " that's all you got to say?" "schools of thought:" "two of you together could be enabling. bad habits shared." "but it's more like she knows how bad it is." "we watch out for each other." "she wouldn't even let me have red bull. seriously." "well that's the other school:" "two are stronger than one." "i know i'm different with her." "well i guess we just keep an eye on it." "you fuckin' lucky cocksucker." " another married man?" " i know." "and it gets worse." "i think he's connected." "to what?" " the mafia." " no... but-- actually i know he is because i was involved with his boss." "you ever hear of anthony soprano?" "i'm sorry, jules. i don't even know where to fucking start." "i know, i know." "the stupid thing is he's sweet." "he's good to me." "i want you to listen to this very carefully:" "i'm your sponsor. i'm not judging you. i'm not disappointed." "i am concerned and i'm here to help you help yourself." "unlike you, i've lived in north jersey my whole life and those people like his boss-- they are sociopaths." "murderers actually." "i know, ame, but i think you're getting a little carried away." "don't hug me. on top of everything i'm getting a cold." "cock--!" "...sucker motherfucker!" "you shit asshole!" "i hate you!" "this man is so lame." "shit." " what's wrong?" " these assholes again." "they wake up the baby." "shh!" "my baby's sleeping." "why don't you come out here and suck our dick?" "hey what's this asshole's problem?" "my ex used to go down and kick their asses, but now they're back." "okay, papi." "it's all right." "it's all right, baby." "shh." "fuckwads." "look, you guys move." "go hang somewhere else, i'll give you this bike." "it's a gary fisher." "it's only a year old. my parents gave it to me last christmas." "all right." "it doesn't bother you that i'm younger than you are?" "you know who was born on your birthday?" "jesse ventura." "who?" "he's a famous politician." "i looked it up." "how do you know my birthday?" "i did your w-4, remember?" "the withholding?" "you sure it don't bother you i have a baby?" "no, i love kids." "this is fuckin' ridiculous." "you're not goin' no place." " i want to." " we can watch a dvd." "i got the 50 cent movie down in my trunk." "they were giving it away at the car wash." "don't talk." "that's it. you're fuckin' grounded." "lie down." "i'm gonna go down the pharmacy, get some robitussin." "no!" "it's got dextromethorphan." "what are you gonna do?" "rip your fuckin' lungs out?" "this is crazy." "you certainly seem very anxious to get cough medicine in here." "i resent that." "fuck it!" "it's over the counter." "how much shit could be in it?" "unh-uh." "maybe you could get some valerian tea." "you put eight, nine, 10 tea bags in a cup." " fuck's that gonna do?" " it's equal to like taking a valium." " i didn't know that." " same chemical family." "gotta have some cough suppressant value, right?" "worst-case scenario, it might help you sleep at least." "what do you think?" "valerian tea." "you have to go to the health food store." "jesus christ, they didn't teach you how to use a pair of pliers yet?" "oh it smells all christmassy in here." "yeah." "come on." "oh, the russos-- picture of their dogs." "it's sad with no children." "oh my god!" "the building department." "they're repealing the stop-work order on my spec house!" ""construction may begin immediately."" "tony, is this you?" "this is the best christmas present i could ever get!" "oh, i better return that vacuum i got you then." "so, christmas eve-- besides the shrimp," " i told desanto the cherry-stones. - fine, good." "you sure?" "'cause last year you said the cherry-stones were chewy." "the little-necks then." "jesus!" "ebenezer scrooge over here." "so stop breakin' my balls about clams. i don't feel good." "the soft scrub, lemon scented." "you're cool as a cucumber." "did i say i'm hot?" "i got a tightness in my chest up by the esophagus." "well you just had a check up, phil." "yeah." "imagine the christmas marie and the kids'll be having after all that with vito?" "the dibellas too." "catherine's stroke?" "remember last year at my mother's house?" "francesca spatafore did that beautiful solo of "o, holy night"?" "vito accompanied her on the piano?" "i gotta try and take a shit." "now when one is having a heart attack, the body releases proteins that act as markers which we would detect in the blood." "you don't show any, sir." " so, his heart is fine?" " yep." "jesus christ." "mr. leotardo, some people would pay millions for that diagnosis." " so what the hell's wrong with me?" " my guess is simple gas." "i always say he's full of hot air." "pharmacy's down the hall." "they will give you some antacid. take care." "arrogant prick." "nervous nellie." "that's what you are." "i'm so sorry." "this asshole wall street couple came back to look at this loft space." "mmm." " i'm dyin'. my heart!" " oh my god!" "okay, we're here. we're here." "it's all right, it's all right." "it's okay. don't worry about it." "help!" "my husband." " phil!" " crash cart!" "can i get a crash cart?" "crash cart!" "heh, i fucked a girl wearing a santa hat once." "it was too distracting." "i kept losing' my hard on." "hey ton'." "did you hear?" "phil leotardo took a heart attack, a big one apparently." "ho!" "so there is a santa claus." "he's in intensive care over in brooklyn. doesn't look too good." "sweetheart, drinks all around." "and a club soda for the messenger here." "you're happy about this, t?" "why not?" "he's a pain in my balls." "a manageable pain though, eh?" "the devil you know... after the scene at little carmine's...?" "corrado, don't you have nothing?" "you can make a hand turkey." "for christmas?" "fuckin' idiot." "visitor for mr. soprano." "bobby!" "any of you know what bacala is?" "of course you don't." "well it's salted cod." "we taught the world how to eat." "junior, sit." "happy holidays, huh?" "you smell the piss in this place?" "i ain't gonna stay too long." "just to say you should keep this." " what's that?" " you had beppy drop it by, remember?" "had a post-it?" "it said "merry christmas"?" "it's a gift." "it's a little something for you and karen and the kids." "it wouldn't be right." "i mean frankly i shouldn't be here after what happened with tony." "he's still up on his cross, huh?" "junior, you shot him." "yeah well it's not that simple." "i know a few things you don't." "like maybe i wasn't acting alone." "junior, jfk was 40 years ago." "that's all i'll say about that." "you see that one over there?" "an attorney." "i'm mounting my case." "look, i should take off." "you want a snack?" "a soda?" "the fuck?" "you just got here." "happy holidays." "here." "one hand washes the other." "so the husband says, "i wasn't talkin' to you."" "you know her?" "oh that's right, you and her-  how'd that all go?" " i had to put her on the shelf." "yeah, she's a friend of kaisha, the black one i was tellin' you about." "she was just now asking what to get kaisha for her birthday." "what'd you tell her?" "luther vandross, a box set." "mmm." "mmm." "you know what's interesting?" "hmm?" "us being able to use again, but integrating it into our lives." "yeah." "work... socialize... but still having a mastery." " not easy." " but interesting as shit." "for one thing, we don't use needles." "i should probably tell tony we're fucking." "what?" "we're not anymore." "he's already hinky." "he starts pokin' around, finds out we met in a.a., he could suspect i'm usin' again... hmm." "...and ruin everything." "there he is. where the fuck you been?" "you heard that phil had surgery now?" "turds in the aorta-- a medical first." "gotta see my chiropodist." "t... there's something i should tell you." " the real estate agent." " yeah?" "i've been bangin' her." "see, i knew some shit was goin' on." "why the fuck did you lie to me?" "i wasn't sure how it ended with you two till you set me straight." "stupid, right?" "point is i want everything above-boards as always between you and me." "i don't give a fuck." "do what you want with her." " this is my reward." " your reward." "i do not betray my wife." "i go out of my way not to have an affair with this woman, this very hot, very beautiful, intelligent woman-- 'cause of the way carmela nursed me and cared for me." "and my fuckin' turkey-neck of a nephew winds up with his dick in there." "a guy i gotta see every day." "this is my reward." "frankly, i'm encouraged." "with the fuckin' riddles again." "i sat here dreading the end of the story would involve you erupting in some act of violence towards your nephew." "well, christmas isn't over yet." "you came out of that shooting feeling each day as a gift." "well, this is a corollary to that." "a what?" "you don't have to eat every dish of rigatoni." "you don't have to fuck every female you meet." "you know what i've been realizing?" "these women-- they're all sort of the same-- dark complexion, smart, they smell a little bit of money." "there's you and..." "gloria and this "ashkenuzi."" "so what's that about?" "what do you think it's about?" "well... it's probably the reason i still come here to hang out with you-- 'cause nothing really changes with the therapy part." "ton'?" "that fed's out front. harris." "says he wants you to know he's here having a sandwich." "what's the matter?" "not enough mayo?" "tony, how you doing?" "good, so how's the war on terror?" "christmas is always potentially our busy season." "so, phil leotardo, huh?" "coronary?" "i swear to god i had nothin' to do with that." "just so you know, i'm still in touch with some agents who work o.c." "from what they hear, you're not very popular in brooklyn right now." "so what else is new, huh?" "that someone close to you may be in danger." "really?" "anybody specific?" "all they know is it's under serious discussion at top levels." " thanks." " it's christmas." "what?" "you want me to call a doctor?" "cramping in my legs?" "it could be anything." "well then what'd you call me for?" " just to say hi." " but you're all right?" "yeah." "i'll see you later." "bring me home a quattro formaggi." "i don't care what time it is. wake me up." " all right." " mwah." "we were talking about recovery and your organized crime thing." "that i took an oath that was a sacred oath." " that's not an urban legend?" " no, you burn a saint." "you draw blood-- but technically i shouldn't even be tellin' you this." "ooh." "the program-- i could never really get into the "higher power" part." "well, me neither." "it's hard." "i mostly think of the group consciousness as a higher power." "i said to myself that that oath would be my higher power." "that would be my strength." "that code-- that's a soldier's oath." " i could see that." " but the problem is nobody lives it no more." "not tony, not nobody." "they let you down." "whatever..." "here i am." " using." " using." "are you breaking up with me?" "no." "should we go to a meeting?" "i don't know." "what do you wanna do?" "i know one that starts in half an hour in glen ridge." "take one car?" "i'll follow you." "you should've called first." "how's john?" "some christmas present, huh?" "i'll see you in the morn" "i'll see you in the morning." "god loves you." "finally got you to come to brooklyn, cocksucker." "listen to me." "now i never told nobody this, but while i was in that coma," "something' happened to me." "i went someplace, i think. but i know i never wanna go back there." "and maybe you know what i'm talkin' about." "believe me, nobody ever laid on their deathbed wishing' they saved more no-show jobs." "now you take your time." "you get better." "and you get out of this fuckin' place." "but when you do, you focus on grandkids and good things." "we can have it all, phil-- plenty for everybody." "stop cryin' now." "we should let him sleep." "we gotta stop meeting like this, huh?" "george, hi." "carmela soprano." "listen, i wanna move ahead with the roofing-- ordering the slate?" "carm, you got cocktail sauce?" "uh, in the fridge, top shelf." "bob cratchett!" "pass out the punch!" " ...gift set..." " what i said is none of your business!" "i'll make it my business!" " sophia, come help, hon." " i don't like disturbances in my place." "either lay off politics or get out!" "jesus, that's a lot of presents." "you sure you got enough?" "remember you're a kid-- wabc?" "they'd tell you where santa was, tracking' him on air force radar?" "are you gonna hog all the ice?" " to america." " to america." "to america." "hello." "everybody, this is blanca. blanca, my mom," " my dad." " hi." "this is hector." "say hello, baby." "hi, hector." "oh, look at those eyes." "he's not so shy at home." "hey, that is quite a bagatelle." "oh, it's from anthony." "really?" "hector, no, papi!" "those ain't your presents." "it's okay." "i got him." " hey, come here, you." "come here." "who's coming later, huh?" " santa!" " is santa claus coming, huh?" " carmela, it's meadow!" " tell her i kept my promise." "i'm wearing your present from paris." "excuse me, my daughter's calling from california." " she's 10 years older than him and she's puerto rican." "dominican..." "maybe." "least she's catholic." "what are you lookin' at me like that for?" "you were overjoyed when i sent him down there." "carmela, your daughter says you're using up all her cell phone minutes." "nice piece, that necklace." "where'd you get it?" " the mall." " should've told me." " i got a guy." " and i got a job." "my dear mademoiselle, perhaps you have already observed that in casablanca human life is cheap. good night, mademoiselle." "okay, sweetie." "i love you too." "merry christmas, baby." "yeah, we're all here, same as always." "bobby jr., get in here and eat!" "you want some wine?" "aunt barb's comin' later." "uncle tom had to work." "all right, honey." "i miss you too." "merry christmas." "love to finn, huh?" "you have a gorgeous home." "oh, thank you." "we do."