"Oh, man, those mosquitoes are bad out there!" "Tell me about it." "Your father won't leave the house." "I might not leave the house." "Can I have my room back?" "My Linda Ronstadt poster's still up." "He's making me crazy, always around." "Maybe there's something he could do at the gas station." "Hah, that's rich." "Oh, you're serious?" "Well, why punish me?" "It's easier to hurt the ones you love." "You don't have to pay him." "Get him to volunteer." "Can't you think of something easier, like taking a bear cub from its mother..." "Emma!" "There's too much sky in this puzzle." "It's supposed to be windmills, not a buncha damn sky." "Buncha stupid clouds blowing around!" "Do something." "Wait." "I know how I can get Dad to work for free." "I need you to convince my dad to work here for free." "Hah, that's rich." "You're serious?" "Why me?" "It's easier to hurt the ones who work for ya." "* You can tell me that your dog ran away *" "* Then tell me that it took three days *" "* I've heard every joke, I've heard every one you say *" "* You think there's not a lot goin' on *" "* Look closer, Baby, you're so wrong *" "* And that's why you can stay so long *" "* Where there's not a lot goin' on **" "Remember, our job is to make sure nothing too big gets put in the time capsule." "How big is too big?" "Nothing bigger than a breadbox." "What if we put an actual breadbox into the time capsule?" "If it's a smaller one." "Roger that." "It should be big enough to hold bread." "Roger that." "We want a functional breadbox." ""Roger that" means I understand." "Can I get involved in the time capsule, please?" "I'd hate for this to be another community event I'm not involved in." "Like what?" "Like all of them." "You had a good time at Dog River Fun Days, didn't ya?" "What's Dog River Fun Days?" "So, what would you like to put into the time capsule?" "It has to be something that encapsulates your personality." "It has to be smaller than a breadbox." "A functional one, not one of those novelty miniature breadboxes." "Oh, wow." "Could I have some time to think about this?" "Sure." "Hey, how about that mug?" "You think that my personality is encapsulated by a mug?" "Not" "You do realize that if I'm successful," "Oscar will be working here, with us, like a lot?" "With us!" "I understand it's an odd request, especially getting him to work for free." "You got me to work for almost free." "You almost work." "I could be in for a real dogfight." "Well, that's why I'm backin' ya up, at The Ruby, over a muffin." "Good luck." "Oh, hey, Oscar." "Boy, it's sure been busy around here." "Too bad we didn't have an extra set a hands to..." "I'll help out, for free, even." "Wow, I'm good." "I should be a hostage negotiator." "Don't flatter yourself." "I gotta get outta the house." "Emma's drivin' me nuts." "Close the door, Hank." "The mosquitoes." "Mosquitoes?" "It's terrible." "It's like The Birds out there." "Mosquitoes are like the birds?" "That movie," "I don't know that one." "It's like except instead of funny romantic moments, mosquitoes." "Who's Sally?" "Oh!" "You're not helpin'." "There are a lot of mosquitoes." "Oh, I get your drift." "Hey, Davis, remember last year at Dog River Fun Days..." "So, Hank, Lacey's just choosing her contribution for the time capsule." "Oh, yeah?" "How about that mug?" "She's not interested in any mug." "Not" "You know, I-I hate to sound like a broken record, but I am not putting that mug in the time capsule." "How about a broken record?" "Oh, come on." "You sound like one." "I forgot about all the nutcases ya meet on this job." "Why?" "What happened?" "A guy asked if we take VISA." "I told him this wasn't the ballet, "Cash or Chargex. "" "VISA used to be Chargex." "They changed their name." "Since when?" "Well, the Chargex Company changed its name to VISA, then I was born." "How was I supposed to know?" "We have a big VISA sign." "We have a big Pepsi sign." "It doesn't mean we take Pepsi." "It means we sell Pepsi." "We sell Pepsi?" "Since when?" "Tell Wanda I'll be at The Ruby." "There is a lot of sky." "Explain this monstrosity." "Oh, Brent." "You just twist the top." "You lost me." "Can we go back to the old way, where you do it?" "Can we just go back to the old way?" "You do it." "This way is easier." "Slide it through, boo-boop." "The old way was better." "Put the card in that thing and, tchit-tchit." "Just slide it through and go, boo-boop." "Tchit-tchit is better." "You used to get your hand caught in the tchit-tchit." "I could be electrocuted by the boop-boop." "Look, the new way is better." "I can just leave the carafe." "But, aaeaah, look it." "Ah, I can't." "It's like a Chinese coffee puzzle." "Oh, Brent." "Would you like to take it home and practice?" "This is too hard." "Come on, not for most people." "Lacey, could you help me open this thing?" "Why are all the gums sugar free?" "You tell me." "Commies or hippies?" "In my day you could get sugared gum." "It made you stronger, prepared you for the real world." "Uh-huh." "Geez." "They got all kinds of pop now." "Uh-huh." "It used to be you just got Cola, and that was it." "Now they got Vanilla or Lime." "Holy hell!" "Orange?" "Dad, you don't have to verbalize every thought that crosses your mind." "Liquorice sticks." "Don't tell me liquorice was better in your day." "No, it's exactly the same." "They haven't changed one iota." "The liquorice people have gotten lazy." "They've had it too good for too long." "Tell Wanda I'll be at The Ruby." "Oscar, stop it!" "Just go out for a while." "How can you stand it out here, with these mosquitoes?" "They're not so bad." "How does this thing work?" "Oh, forget it." "No, Hank, it is so easy." "You just take it..." "I'm not listening." "We all have a certain amount of brain space and I'm savin' mine for important stuff." "I got some new knock-knock jokes." "Ah, great." "Put them up there with the Bananarama lyrics." "Hey, you wanna hear a knock-knock joke?" "The mosquitoes aren't so bad when I stand next to you." "Knock-knock." "Okay." "Who's there?" "Bananarama." "No, wait." "Uh..." "Way to go." "How's it been goin' so far?" "Just goin' great." "Wanda let me close yesterday." "She did?" "Except, sorry, I had trouble setting the alarm." "Alarm?" "We don't have a..." "Hey!" "What happened to the debit machine." "Ah." "It looks like someone took a hammer to it." "I said sorry." "Wanda, tell Dad I'll be at The Ruby." "Lacey says Hank's immune to mosquitoes." "So you and I are going to do a little experiment." "Hmm." "Count me in." "I suppose I should get that." "Up to you." "What?" "I mean Dog River Police." "Oh, hi, Karen." "It's Emma." "What's new?" "I'm on duty." "This is an emergency line." "Me, I'm just doing a puzzle." "All the pieces are blue." "Just blue?" "Well, there's some windmills, but..." "Are the windmills blue?" "No." "They sky is blue, Karen." "Again, this is an emergency line." "Is there at least a piece missing?" "Don't be so greedy, Lacey." "Save some coffee for someone else." "People can't figure out the carafes." "I hate to say I told you so." "Do you?" "Because I'm not really getting that feeling." "I'm off to the Co-op to get dish soap." "I'll come too." "I, uh, also need soap, I've discovered." "All right." "The more the merrier." "We're doing an experiment on Hank." "Well, it had to happen eventually." "What are you guys lookin' at?" "Stupid boop-boop machine." "I hate to say I told you so." "No, you don't." "You and Brent both love to say I told you so." "Let's get the old machine out now." "Sometimes you just have to put your trust in the tried and true." "Especially when the new and true's been busted with a hammer." "I'm kinda in a hurry." "Oh, no." "This will be worth it." "Aaagh!" "Ow!" "Huh?" "Gosh, that takes me back." "I mean clouds, birds, lots of things could be in the sky, break up that solid field of blue." "Zeppelins?" "I'm not saying they should fly in a Zeppelin just for the puzzle, but they could take a picture of a windmill where a Zeppelin was nearby." "Don't you think?" "Karen?" "Ah, Lacey?" "What?" "Aren't you walkin' a little close?" "No, not too close." "Can we walk with you guys?" "Sure." "You know where we're goin'?" "It doesn't matter." "Just want to spend some quality Hank time." "We walked all the way to the Co-op and didn't get bit once." "Interesting." "Yeah, if you find dish soap interesting." "I don't think of you as washing dishes, or washing anything, really." "Well, not dishes," "A lot of people don't know that dish soap can be used that way." "Hey." "Dish soap." "Of course, dish soap." "They're really jacked up about the dish soap." "I'm stumped." "This new carafe is worse than the old new carafe." "You want to know how it works?" "I should offer a seminar." "Don't bother." "You're just going to be replacing it soon." "Ah, sure, Emma." "Okay." "I'll be there in like 10 minutes." "That was weird." "Your mom wants me to walk her over here." "I wonder what that's about." "Who knows?" "Crazy, crazy Emma." "Yeah." "Is there even any coffee in this?" "Everyone wants to be near me." "It's almost like the whole town is..." "Hello, Hank." "My name's Frank." "Hey, that rhymes, Hank, Frank." "I'm havin' a barbeque." "You wanna come?" "Yeah, sure." "Great." "My place is just up the road." "I'll see ya there." "What was I sayin'?" "It's like the whole town is..." "Right." "The whole is discovering me for who I really am." "That's it, Hank." "Ya nailed it." "Yeah." "That's for the coffee." "What coffee?" "I don't want anything to do with your stupid time capsule." "If people in the future want to know me, they can ask." "We want to buy some liquid dish soap." "Licky disco?" "Liquid dish soap, lemon." "Will people in the future care about lemon dish soap?" "No, for the mosquitoes." "Hank uses it to keep mosquitoes away, and he's bought out the Co-op." "Oh?" "Well, in that case, I'd be happy to sell ya some." "$15, each." "15 bucks?" "Brent wouldn't gouge us like this." "Brent also doesn't pay me." "*" "*" "Here." "And wait, I have printed instructions." "I think I can handle it, Lacey." "It's just a carafe." "Oh." "What the hell?" "Shssh." "It's okay." "Hey, Lacey," "I think the long hand on your clock is like five or six seconds slow." "Duly noted." "He just sits around all day commenting on things." "Yeah?" "You think Oscar's a picnic?" "Does this penny look round to you?" "Then, we had a 30 minute conversation about ceiling tiles." "What are we gonna do?" "I'm really enjoying these walks." "It's great that people from, you know, different generations can communicate the way that we are right now." "It reminds me of this time when..." "See ya." "Are you goin' past the liquor store?" "Yeah, sure." "Hey, Emma." "Listen, I have a request, and I really don't want Brent to hear this." "Oh, don't worry." "He's occupied." "Look, I-I know this sounds strange, but I miss Oscar around the house." "His weirdness keeps me sane." "You and I are very different people." "Look, Emma, what if you just talked to him, you know, openly and honestly?" "I don't want to yell at him." "I'll take care of it, Emma." "Really?" "Leave it to me." "Sometimes you have to hurt the ones you love." "Other times you get to hurt Oscar." "What smells like lemon?" "Dwain who?" "Dwain the tub, I'm dwownding." "Yeah, that's funny stuff." "Could you come and stand by the buffet?" "Ah, yeah, sure, yeah." "Lemon soap." "Send as much as you can spare, a whole truckload." "Who is that?" "Why so nosey, Rosie?" "I'm just wondering how Brent ever did this without ya." "It doesn't seem right that you do it all for free." "Well..." "I guess that's the way it is with kids, huh?" "You bring them into the world and then they take advantage of you." "Brent thinks he can take advantage of me, huh?" "I should go in there right now and tell him to pay me." "Oh, he'd love that, to see his father, begging' for money." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, I won't give him the satisfaction." "We'll just see how this place falls apart after I quit!" "180 degrees in 20 seconds." "Not bad!" "As you all know, before we bury the new time capsule, it's traditional to, uh, open the old one." "I didn't know that we were going to open an old time capsule as well." "I can barely remember what I put in." "You were there?" "Sure." "It's just last year." "Last year?" "We do this every year." "It used to be every 25 years, and then every ten years, and then it became an excuse to drink." "An annual time capsule?" "That doesn't seem a tad goofy to anybody else?" "All right, everyone, behold the past." "Okay, Brent, ya had a mug." "Karen, a mug." "Crazy." "It's hard to believe we drank out of these things." "Whose hat is this?" "So that's where it went." "So you just bury a bunch of old mugs in a box and then you drink all night?" "It's very moving." "It makes you think." "I still can't believe you do this every year." "It's less jarring this way." "If you leave a time capsule for 25 or 50 years, when you open it, it's just a bunch of old stuff." "But you're supposed to put all types of things in there, you know, non-mug type things." "Listen to her." "First time out and she's telling" "Someone's not comin' to the Dog River Fun Days." "Lacey's right." "I'm gonna put my hat in there." "Or maybe not." "That box is pretty ratty." "Oh, here." "Put it in this." "All right!" "Lacey brought coffee." "Now you're carrying those things around with you?" "Not too weird." "This was supposed to be my contribution." "Wait a minute." "Your contribution was going to be a carafe?" "Not" "Thanks." "This will keep my hat safe." "It kept coffee safe from me." "Ow!" "Oh, my God, the mosquitoes!" "Oh, they're worse than ever!" "Run!" "I don't know what happened." "It's like that lemon soap made them crazy." "But it can't be the soap, because Hank uses the soap and..." "Hank." "Oh, my God, Hank." "Man, it's like Sally and Harry out there today." "But why?" "The only difference between you now and before is... your hat." "My hat!" "Come on!" "How do you open this thing?" "Oscar, just stop it and go outside." "It's okay." "He's not here anymore." "Why are ya doin' that stupid puzzle?" "Too much blue." "It's poor puzzlemanship." "Tchit-tchit." "Aah!" "It's good to have you back, Oscar." "I must admit, it was masterful, the way I got Dad to leave, a good plan all around." "He worked for free and no harm done." "I got 1,800 boxes of lemon dish soap." "Masterful." "Closed Captioning by" "Vertical" "* I don't know the same things you don't know *" "* I don't know I just don't know *" "* It's a great big place * full of nothin' but space * and it's my happy place" "* I don't know Yes you do *" "* You just won't admit it" "* I don't know the same things you don't know *" "Want to have a gas online?" "Visit us at cornergas. com" "* I don't know" "* I just don't know *"