"♪ Now I'm a seasick sailor on a ship of noise ♪" "♪ I got my maps all backwards and my instincts poisoned ♪" "♪ oh, it's nausea ♪" "♪ oh, nausea ♪" "♪ and we're gone ♪" "♪ no, it's nausea ♪" "♪ oh, nausea ♪" "♪ and we're gone. ♪" "We were in Dallas." "He was at his millionth meeting and I was stuck in that presidential suite again watching QVC." "I know now that I should have had dinner because I was hungry, angry, lonely, tired." "And what happened?" "Here come the clowns." "I will tell you what." "There was $5,000 worth of little tiny clown statues made of Italian porcelain sitting in my garage." "My maid was just shaking her head." "I pretended, of course, that I had done it on purpose, but she knew the truth." "I told her just send them off to her friend in Mexico." "I got out of bed for this?" " I was horrified." " Why are you smiling, Charlie?" "It's a story about clowns and she told it six times." "They were Capodimonte clowns." "Trust me, they were nice." "Ha!" "Trust me, they were tacky." "Now it's time for me to read my letter." "How about we learn a little bit about Jackie first?" "She's a liar and a thief." "I've lived with her five days." "Tried to steal anything that wasn't nailed down." ""Dear Alexis, fuck you--"" "I will go upstairs and I will throw it off the roof if you don't settle down." "Tell us about yourself, Jackie." "I'm a nurse." "That's it." "I'm a nurse." "I am a nurse..." "Same as you." "I don't want any special treatment." "Thor, call maintenance and get me a better chair." " This is ridiculous." " My pleasure, Gloria." "Miss Akalitus." "Before I call, does it matter that Jackie really likes that chair?" "Jackie's at Disneyland." "Jealous." " May I help you?" " Yeah." "Jackie Peyton." " Cashed in her vacation days." " I don't like it." "Can you guys at least try to look busy?" "So you're around narcotics all day." " What is that like for you?" " You know, it's a cruel fucking joke." "It's not like I take them all day." "I just take 'em when not taking them would affect my ability to do my job." "Professional baseball player." "Same here." "So is it safe to say they make you a better nurse?" "I can work longer hours, put some food on the table, not lose my shit with the patients." "I know that is what you think, but narcotics impair your judgment." "Think about my clowns." "That was not good judgment." "We'll get to it when we get to it." "All right, I don't have to read it." "I can recite it." ""Dear Alexis, fuck you for Boca Raton--"" "Doris, settle down." "Do you remember the first time that you took painkillers not for pain?" "I fucked up my back." "I slipped on a puddle of urine." "Blew out a disc." "I have two little kids at home." "I can't afford to be off the floor, so they gave me Vicodin." "That pain went away." "I had a little bit left, you know." "So I experimented." "And you thought what?" "You know what-- if it's gonna be like this, where you sit around and talk about everything," "I can tell you right now that I can't do it." "I want you to think of it as a medical center, all right?" "A "scopious" expanse of possibility." "Level one trauma center." "Hmm, changes the tenor of your friendly neighborhood hospital." "That's exactly the image we're trying to get away from." "Medevac, helipad-- that's just the beginning." "Helipad." "Hell-a-yes." "Here's my concern." "And then we have to get down from here because heights make me sick." " What's the concern?" " That you'll get our nurses' hopes up and then cut and run when your profits don't materialize." "First of all, they're not my profits." "Second of all, they will materialize." "Look, Quantum Bay is 100% committed." "We are invested." "So you tell your nurses that Mike Cruz just hired a crew to expand the elevator shaft for a helipad." " How's that?" " That is awesome." "That is nonsense." "Look, I'm four and a half months pregnant and a week from not being able to wear anything I own." "So you'll forgive me if I'm not interested in spreading the gospel about your little helicopter shaft." "That's fantastic news." "Congratulations." "Who's the dad?" "Eddie?" "No, wait, wait." "Sam." "No, wait-- who's the dad?" "It wasn't me." "Could have been." "Long story." "Thank you." "Don't breathe a word." " Helipad." " Helipad." "Innovation number one." "What's innovation number two?" "Lose the mustache and wear a tie." "It's a goatee." "We have to sign a waiver." "They're tracking our movement with I.D. badges." "Like endangered animals." "Like they wanna see how much time we're spending with patients." "Quantum Bay." "More like Quantanamo Bay." "Jackie's gonna hate this." " Jackie needs a new picture." " Smile." "Oh, he looks terrible." " Next." " Ooh, presents." "That's bullshit." "Here you go." " Wish me luck." " Good luck." " Smile." "Jesus!" "Smile." "Smile." "Can I have another one?" " Hey, Wayne, you in or you out?" " First one's a curve ball, so I know the second one is gonna be a fastball." "So I choke up on the bat, turn my wrist, so that the ball is guaranteed to hit the bone." " You're an asshole, Wayne." " Crack!" "90 miles per hour." "Shattered it." "Surgery and dope for a whole year." "That's manly." "You wouldn't know manly if it crawled up your skirt and built a house." "Your husband looks like a girl." "Nurse, wanna play spades?" "No, still a bit pukey, but thank you." " Suit yourself." " Jackie." "The underlying injuries, the neck, the back, all that-- your pain's gonna resurface, so how are you gonna handle that?" "It's already happening." "Can I take a Tylenol or" "You see how you wanna reach?" "You can't do that anymore." "Those days are done." "You gotta learn how to cope." "Or you can live with Doris the rest of your life." "Yeah, about that-- can we talk about that for a minute?" "'Cause there's something not quite right about her." "She's not all there or something." "Is that your professional opinion?" "'Cause here's mine-- you immediately diverted the issue." "The issue is you." "Why do you think you're here?" "'Cause I have a drug problem." "Well, yours is not a problem." "Yours is a disease, which doesn't mean you're not responsible for the damage that you've caused, but it does help explain it." "You come from a very fucked-up place." "But it does help explain I come from queens." "Trish blew five grand on clowns, didn't miss a beat." "Wayne" " Wayne drove a Ferrari into a wall to see if it had air bags." "That's not me." "I'm a nurse." "I need you to stop identifying as a nurse." "I can see how the glamour might intimidate people." "You're good at your job." "You suck at life." "You're not a nurse." "You're a patient." "Okay." "19-year-old female witnessed falling from an N.Y.U. fire escape." "Possible spinal injury and lac to the head." "Blithe, I'm right here, baby." "I'm fine, Jeff." "Go back to the dorm." "You're smothering me." "You need to refrain from moving your head, okay?" " Tell him to leave." " Young man, you and your contraption will have to wait outside." "No can do." "That girl needs me." " I don't need you, Jeff!" " I'm not going anywhere, baby." "I'm sitting vigil." "Wing and a prayer." " Sam, I need you to physically remove him." " How?" " What would Jackie do?" " Shoot him." "You're not gonna like this, but read it anyway." "What I do-- daily meditations, I read it like a horoscope." "What does it say on my birthday?" "What does it say on my son's birthday?" "What does it say on your birthday?" "Hmm." ""You're only as sick as the secrets you keep."" "Ooh, August 22nd." "Fuck, I've been doing this job way too long." " Take this." " And do what?" "Personal inventory." "You're not there yet, but you will be, and then a list of character defects when you start your sixth." "I'm gonna need a bigger notebook." "Oh, and don't underestimate the value of "Dear diary, visiting hours broke my heart,"" "but that's not for another week." "No family for a week." "Do I have anything to look forward to?" "The "fuck you" letters are very satisfying." "Painkillers kill pain." "You did not get this sick by yourself." "Trust me." "There's gonna be a lot of fuck yous along the way." "You're gonna write 'em down." "You're gonna read 'em." "You're gonna burn 'em." "If you do it right, you'll feel better." "A bagel injury-- number one trip to the emergency room, second only to drunk guys who pass out and pee themselves." "Personally, I prefer a good bagel injury." "No catheters." "Like you've ever done a catheter." "Okay, Jackie." "Jackie's at Disneyland." "I rode the Matterhorn with John Stamos." "Take that, Jackie Peyton." "Speaking of, I know something about O'Hara that even Jackie doesn't know." " I highly doubt that." " You're highly wrong." "Am I gonna get the feeling in my thumb back?" "To you from me, a guarantee." "You will be all thumbs, amiga." " Amigo." " Dr. Cooper," " why aren't you in trauma?" " Stitches, man." "I'm in heaven." " On my count." "One, two, three." " Everybody, stop!" "Do not lift the patient." "Hands in the air now." "Not you, sweetheart." "Are you out of your mind?" "That girl has a serious" "Switching it up, guys." "Coop, you take the trauma." "O'Hara, you're in exam." "Gloria, I'd like you to stay away from gurney transfers." "Your maturity in this case invites litigation." "And while I have you here, O'Hara, I'm taking your office." "Gloria, O'Hara's taking yours." "Okay, is that everything?" "That's everything." "Okay, guys, back to it." "Mike Cruz." " Short for Michael, is it?" " Actually, it's Miguel." "Yeah, well, whoever you are, you're no fun." "What you did was rude." "No, it was business." "Rude would have been to publicly question why a physician halfway through her pregnancy thinks it's appropriate to be lifting patients." "Oh, my God." "You're a caveman." "I made my name in obstetrics, Dr. O'Hara." "I did what I thought was right while at the same time honoring your request for privacy." "You kicked me out of my office." "And put you in a bigger office that's closer to the E.R., has room for a couch." "Look, you can file a complaint after you stitch up the hand in three." "How could you even say that?" "I am like the opposite of smothering." "Oh, my God." "Seriously?" "I was on the fire escape to get away from you." "Okay, I hope you know you're saying that to someone who will absolutely marry you, even if you end up being crippled." "Jeff, I can move my legs, okay?" "Doc, is that true?" "Can she really feel her legs?" "Uh, hard to say." "Why don't you blow on her toes, see for yourself?" "There's your answer." "Jackie would have loved that." "Hey, how you doing?" "I'm kind of falling apart over here." "You don't have any light benzos, do you?" "Like Librium or Tylenol?" "Tylenol would help." "Did you talk to your counselor?" "Yeah, that ain't gonna happen." "Hey, can I get Clinton's medical history?" "Yeah, sure." "Well, well, well." " What the fuck?" " It's my phone cave." "Come in, text a few words to break my old man's heart, hit "Send" and I'm done for the day." "It's 2012." "I prefer to text my "fuck you" letters." " Mm." "How old are you?" " 17." "Rehab number four." "I love my drugs, and they love me." "They're gonna bury me, and guess what" "I'm fine with it." " Honey, you got your whole life" " To what?" "Be in and out of rehab?" "Please." "It's bullshit." "And I know my bullshit." "You were into pills way before you fucked up your back." "That was some rookie shit back there." "Wow." "You're a mean kid." "No one's real." "No one's ever real." "Hmm." "Had my daughter Grace when I was 33." "You know, we waited." "And supposed to be this big joyous event." "She's born." "She starts crying and she does not stop for two years." "I'm holding her." "I'm telling her everything's gonna be all right." "And then you start thinking," ""Does she know something I don't know?"" "She was just so-- just so hurt and by nothing." "I stole 100 tabs of Percocet and never looked back." "So "fuck you, Grace."" "Is that it?" "'Cause that is real." "Okay, thanks, doc." " Time to go." " Dude, it's my office." " Not anymore." "Go, go away." " All right, I'm going, I'm going." "But look, your kid, she's your ground zero." "And that's okay." "Okay, go away." "Oh, come on, please." "Let's share." "And let's get a sofa so I can take gorgeous naps." "You don't strike me as the napping type." "Yes, well, I've been taking naps for about 17 weeks now." "18 Friday." "Absolutely gobsmacked Coop didn't blab." " Hello." " Hey." "Jackie!" "Yes." "Oh, wait, wait." "Hang on, I'm putting you on speaker." "I'm with Gloria." "Hey, guys, hi." "Listen-- we're having a baby!" "I know." "Can you believe it?" " How's Disneyland?" " Yeah, Disneyland sucks." " Listen, I have about-- Jackie, this Mike Cruz Charter" "He's a Nazi." "He burst into trauma-- he demoted me." "I'm back on the floor." "It's all good." "We can work together in the trenches." "That's good." " I'm wearing scrubs." " Oh, stop." "You look marvelous." "Listen, I have only a second here." "I need your help." "Yeah, anything." "I gotta see Grace." "I need to see her face." "I need to put my arms around her." " Are you allowed visitors?" " I don't know." "I'll figure something out." "Just please-- just bring her as soon as you can, okay?" "Thanks." "God forgive me." "Charlie is hiding a phone in the janitor's closet." " Well, did you confront him?" " That's not my job." "Tell your counselor." "She's in a one-on-one, so I'd like you to go get it." "The phone" " I'd like you to go get the phone." "You'd like me to get the phone?" "You're only sick as the secrets you keep." "It's a secret." "I can't keep it." "It's a threat to my sobriety." "Please get the phone, please." "Do I have to be here?" "How come Fi didn't have to come?" "Look who I found." "Hey, baby!" "Oh, my goodness." "I miss you so much." "Gosh, I needed a hug." " Wow, eyeliner." "Wow." " Yeah." " Is this where you work now?" " Yeah, for a few more weeks." "It's quiet, isn't it?" "Oh, baby." "My goodness, you are so beautiful." "Isn't she, though?" "When are you getting back?" "'Cause I kinda wanna go to public school." "It's closer to dad's and I like the kids better." " Okay, we can certainly talk about that" " Jacks." "So that was exactly where I said it was, right?" "That kid's unbelievable." "What's going on?" "Um, I know I'm still on the clock, but this is my daughter Grace and my best friend Eleanor." "In fact, it was Eleanor who told me that you guys were hiring." " Oh." " I just heard such nice things, and I just thought, "Well, now there's a fit."" " It's nice to meet you, Ellen." " My pleasure, I'm sure." "So shall we?" " I love you, sweetie." "I'll see you soon." " Bye." " It was nice meeting you, Grace." " Thank you." "That was very kind." "So are you going to tell Laura or am I?" "No, I'm done tattling for today." "I get it." "It's your kid." "I'll get another phone." "Still, it was pretty fucked up." "If that's your idea of fucked up" "I gotta take a leak." "Don't nobody touch my cards." "Will do." "Well, I can do fucked up." "I took a hammer once." "I broke this finger here practically in half." "I think I was trying to cover a lie." "I don't even know what it was anymore." "Doris, this is private." "Ah, whites only." "Is that it?" "You're a prick." "Peyton, in my office now." "You need to pack your things." "Okay, hold on one second." "When you got here, I told you you were going to be held accountable." "Welcome to accountability." "Okay, that was my kid." "She needed to see me." "Really?" "Because from what I heard, it sounded like she needed to not see you." "She's not an easy kid, okay?" "From the very beginning, no matter where she was, it's not where she wanted to be." "And that includes with me, especially with me." "The first time was Percocet and not Vicodin." "And it was me and my baby, not my back." "Okay?" "It was that." "So you can kick me out." "Go ahead." "You cannot break the rules." "Neither can Charlie." "Neither can I." "Fine, fine." "I'll get my things." "Thanks for helping me get better, really." "Thanks." "You better leave Charlie out of this." "'Cause if he goes out there, he's gonna be dead in a week, and he won't care." "What really concerns me is that you think you're less sick than he is." " No, I don't." " Cunning, baffling, powerful." "You don't even see it." "What is it I am supposed to see?" "You are a drug addict." "Look, I got sweat pooling in my bra and I cannot keep my food down, so whatever point it is you're trying to make, it's made." "It's already made!" " Hey, don't let her steal any of my things." " Out." "It's not my fault." "I tried to get sober, but they threw me out." "You didn't even put up a fight." "I needed to see my kid." "That's not a fight." "That's an excuse." "Cut the shit, respect the rules." "And next time, come and see me." "You gotta want this." "You're not a nurse." "You don't work here." "The only life you get to save is yours." "Put your shit away." "Traitors, all of you." " Shame on you, Miss Barkow." " I'm sorry." "Agh!" "Peer pressure." "Why?" "Honest to goodness, Doris, if you don't get up and get some water..." "Here." "It's not gonna drink itself." "Doris." "Doris." "Honey, okay." "Here, hang on." "Hang on." "Um..." "Can I get a hand?" "She's having a stroke." "Somebody get an ambulance." "Okay, honey, can you lift your arm for me?" "Okay, how about a smile?" "Can you smile for me?" "I know you hate me." "It doesn't have to be a happy smile." "There you go." "That's great." "You see how great you're doing?" "You're okay." "You're okay." "Everything's all right." "Fine, you saved a life." "Happy?" "Go to bed." "Yes, I'm happy." "I'm happy."