"Lenfilm Studio" "We want to spend the time chatting." "As your neighbours, we're curious." " How are you?" " Are you happy?" " How do you spend your free time?" " What mood are you in?" "How's your wife, your health, the children?" "Know anything good?" " What are you doing just now?" " What do you dream of?" "How are you?" "How are you?" "CHERYOMUSHKI" "Music:" "D. Shostakovich" "Screenplay:" "V. Mass, M. Chervinski" "Director:" "G. Rappaport" "Principal Cameraman:" "A. Nazarov" "Design:" "M. Gaukhman-S verdlov Director:" "L. Makhtin" "Sound:" "G. Elbert Costumes:" "L. Schildknecht" "Cameramen:" "K. Soloviev, A. Chirov Editing:" "K. Kozyrev" "Choreography:" "K. Boyarsky Redactor:" "I. Glikman" "Make-up:" "M. Matusova, N. Elenbogen Assistant Directors:" "N. Okuntsova, A. Matusov" "Trick Photography:" "M. Shankovich Animation:" "M. Krotkin" "Leningrad Philharmonic Orchestra Conductor:" "N. Rabinovich" "With:" "O. Zabotkina as Lidochka V. Vasilyev as Boris" "M. Kotuntseva as Masha G. Bortnikov as Sasha" "S. Zhivankova as Lyusya V. Zemlyanikin as Sergey" "V. Merkuryev as Drebednev M. Polbentseva as Vava E. Leonov as Barabashkin" "F. Nikitin as Baburov K. Sorokin as Kurochkin R. Zelenaya as Kurochkina" "S. Filipov as Mylkin E. Treivas as Mylkina M. Pugovkin as Kovalev" "Singers:" "A. Alexandrovich, A. Zilbert, Z. Rogozikova" "T. Glinkina, G. Mnatsakanova, E. Khil" "Cheryomushki..." "Ah, yes, a village near Moscow..." "That was a village." "Today, thousands of Muscovites live here." "In the middle of an old town..." "grew a new town." "Do you mean Moscow?" "No." "Today new towns are built in every old town." "And everywhere they are lovingly coined "Cheryomushki"." "Here is one of these old towns..." "MUSEUM FOR TOWN HISTORY AND REDEVELOPMENT" "So this is what our new home will look like, our Cheryomushki." "Cheryomushki, in Cheryomushki the cherry trees blossom." "And all the dreams of their inhabitants are fulfilled." "Not all of the green trees have bloomed." "Not all of the lovers have found each other." "Cheryomushki, in Cheryomushki the cherry trees blossom." "And all the dreams of its inhabitants..." "Hey, you little lout!" "Kotya, Kotya!" "Go away, Kotya!" " These drivers!" " Are they all blind or what?" "Seryoshka..." "Seryoga!" " Boris!" "Hi!" " Hi!" " What a meeting!" " Who saved my child?" "You better put your foot down!" " Long time, no see!" " Yes..." " What are you up to?" " I'm being subversive." " What do you mean?" " I'm a blaster." "Great job!" "I turned the Karakum Desert on its side." "In the Far East I flattened mountains." "And how are you otherwise?" "Otherwise?" "Chin up!" "Spring is here!" "Spring is in the air and all the windows are open." "And at one of these windows is the one I'm looking for." "But where, at which window..." "I don't know yet." "May my song search for her, may my song find her." "As long as it's still spring." "Why be sad?" "Spring is here!" "Spring is everywhere!" "My soul is full of spring." "My soul is full of spring." "Lyusya." "Have no more questions." " Our best crane driver." " Really?" "Her picture will hang in the museum." " Funny..." " You don't say..." "Give me that, dude." " Don't touch!" " And if you do then only with a damp cloth..." " The tour begins downstairs." " In the bistro?" "Been there already." "Are you here because of the bistro or do you want to see something?" "See?" "Yes." "Something or someone." "I've brought a picture." "Who's in charge of that?" "Everyone's gone." "We'll do it tomorrow." "Tell me:" "According to the plans, will there be many girls in the future like you?" "Yes." "But whether there will be young men like you, I don't know." "Then leave me here, as an exhibit, as a warning." " I'll make an animal hide out of him." " This is a museum, not a waxworks." "Really?" "So where is the exhibition about "Love in Our Town"?" "Where are the diagrams of rendezvouses and goodbyes, of walks at night?" " By the way, we really need an adviser." " At your service." "For an exhibition called "Cheek through the Ages"." " But I..." " Talk to the personnel department." "NO ENTRY" "Do not touch." "I was crude again." "Why did no one teach us how to answer stupid questions?" "I can remember when I went to school:" "When I got home" "I had to swot, swot, swot till late at night:" "The life of Shakespeare, features of the ether, the climate in the Pamir plateau, how many kilos are in a tonne, the delta of the Euphrates and Tigris, the surface area of a circle and a square," "a bisector divides the angle into two parts, the distance to the moon," "Pythagoras's theorem, where to put a comma, where not to put a comma, the countries of the Middle East, what's current density, an island is a bit of land surrounded by water..." "It's a long time since school and my book has disappeared." "I don't have to sit at a school desk in order to learn and understand." "How do I find the one who somewhere is looking for me, where do I have to go so that we will not miss each other?" "What can I say so that he knows I'm ready like a bisector to share his nest with him?" "To this day I have not forgotten her, the names of the rivers and hills," "where to put a comma and where not, what current density is." "But I live on my own, for ever alone, like a bit of land surrounded by water..." " Jump in." " Wait." "I can't." "I have to pick up my boss." "With a limousine like that?" "His company car was taken away from him." " Turn around!" " Why?" "She's leaving." " What do you want from her?" " I want to get to know her." " She doesn't want to, though." " Don't care." "Let's go." "Go!" "Hi, how's the research going?" "She's clever." " So?" "Where's your car?" " It's just coming." "Just a minute." "Wait for me here." "What are you doing?" "Nearly got you!" "Hi, Lidochka!" " Are you going home?" " Yes." "And what are you doing tonight?" "Don't know." "Where are we meeting?" " I'll pick you up at the dormitory." " Let me pick you up." "But you know..." "My sister has to bath her children and..." " Then we'll go to the movies, with Lida!" " Exactly." "And I'll get the tickets." " Listen..." " To the movies again!" "Just imagine:" "We've been married for six months and only meet in the theatre, in museums or at the library." " Why not at the station?" " Yeah, super!" "Then we could at least pretend that I was accompanying you and..." "And then pretend that I was accompanying him and..." "Just imagine:" "My sister, her family and me, all in one room..." " But we're on the waiting list." " Yeah, but..." "When I go through the streets" "I look through other people's windows." "Ah, how long have I been dreaming of having my own window!" "What a shame that we don't live under the same roof, that we have to live apart!" "What a shame that each time we have to say to each other:" "Goodbye, Masha!" "Goodbye, Sasha!" "So, we'll meet tomorrow at 6 o'clock sharp at the theatre." "By the way, it's sad to say "Goodnight"" "when newly weds have to go to bed in different districts." "Goodbye, darling!" "Goodbye, my dear!" "Look at the stars settling into their palaces." " Perhaps there'll be a time when we..." " Of course there'll be a time!" "The time will come when you and I will walk into our new house together." " A beautiful dream!" " Yes, it's a dream." "But our dream will come true!" "And we will no longer have to stare into the windows of strangers late at night." "And we will no longer have to go through the streets in the rain." "Our corridor!" "And there's our coat-stand!" "Our room, Sasha!" "Our room, Masha!" "The whole flat is ours, ours!" "The kitchen is ours, too!" "Our windows, our doors." "I can't believe my eyes." "There's a comfy work room." "The parquet floor shines like glass." "We can invite all of our friends." "We can even dance." " Please!" " No, please." " Yes?" " Save me from two pushy young men." "Well then..." "My child!" " What a nightmare!" " What happened?" " Don't let anyone through, Kovalev!" " Of course!" " No entry!" " But I live here!" " No entry!" " My children!" " No entry!" " My potatoes will burn!" " The whole roof has collapsed!" " It should have been renovated ages ago!" " I've got to go home, do you understand!" " Back!" " But that was my daughter." " Get back!" " Disperse!" "Don't panic!" " Then let me through!" " Are you her father?" " Yes." "Boris Koretski, a friend of your daughter's." "You can count on me." "Thank you!" "She's there on her own." "I'm worried about her." "I'll sort it out, sir." " I'm not letting anyone through." " But..." " No entry!" " Go!" "Let's go!" " Just a minute!" "Stop, comrade!" "Didn't you hear what the officer just said?" " No entry!" "Stop him!" " Just you wait!" " Stop him!" " Let go of me!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Lida!" "Hi!" "Kovalev?" "Yes, he's here." "For you." "Shift manager Kovalev speaking." "Lida!" "Stay where you are!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Lida!" "Help!" "Hey?" "Not paying attention?" " It's hot." " Of course, you've come a long way." "Relax!" "Stop!" " Lida!" " Yes." "I'm here." "Unerringly hit the designated area!" "May I introduce myself?" "Boris Koretski, a friend of your father's." "May I introduce..." "The best fireman in the district." "Shift manager Kovalev." "How awful!" "What will you do now, Semyon Semyonovich?" "No idea." "What a nightmare..." " Your room is completely destroyed." " Masha..." "Mashenka!" "Hurrah!" " Sasha, what's wrong?" " Hurrah!" "Now we're in urgent need!" "In urgent need!" " Now we'll get a room straightaway!" " Sasha!" "They are so lucky!" "The house collapsed." "What luck!" "Here is your daughter, daddy." "Safe and sound." "Now go to the town council." "You are entitled to a new room." "To a good room!" " And if not?" " And if not?" "Which of you is Baburov, S. S. And Bubentsov, A. P?" " I am..." " I am..." "Come here, please." "Okay." "Don't swear." "That was necessary." "And?" "Where is your truck?" "I'll show him." "He was supposed to be here at 3." "Don't be upset, Fedya!" "That's not good for your health." "Look what they gave me..." " A flat coupon?" " Really..." " Just like that?" " Yes." "Strange..." "But true:" "A flat in Sarechy..." " Sarechy." "Our Cheryomushki!" " We got a flat, too!" " Mm?" "Are you finally coming?" " Look." "25 Stroitelnaya Street..." "That was built by our administration." " That's where Lyusya works..." " Lyusya?" " And you have nothing to say?" " I will." "Better not to say a thing." "Comrades, let's go there straightaway!" " My boss is waiting for me." " We have to help the people." "And Lyusya?" "Already forgotten?" " Welcome to our Cheryomushki!" " Let's walk." "Thanks." "You have to strike while the iron's hot." "Quick!" "Are we going, too?" "Please have a seat." "Newly-weds first." "It's a long time since our wedding." "Doesn't matter." "And now, Mashenka, we're off on our honeymoon." "Give me your hand, my bride!" "Give me your hand, my groom!" "Whatever will be, will be!" " I really have to invite Lyolka to the house-warming party." " Who?" "You know her." "The one with the plaits," " the one who once called you "daddy"." " I can't remember." "She is stupid." "Goes to evening classes, goes skiing." "So she's really quite crazy." " Why do you want to invite her?" " To make her jealous." "Her husband only got one room." "And then an old one." " Do they have a balcony?" " Yes." "Let's go." "Come on!" " What's the matter?" " I'm not going by bus." "Then we'll have to walk." " Walk!" " What?" "Lyusya!" "Where's the caretaker?" " What do you want?" " To pick up the key." "A furniture shop, a shoe shop." "Such a big warehouse!" "But no market!" "Yes, no market." "What will we do without a market?" "Hi!" "Is the caretaker here yet?" "Not a trace." "We've been waiting here all morning." "How are you, dear neighbours?" "Hi!" "Hi!" "Hi!" "May I introduce myself?" "Your neighbour Onegin!" "You have a balcony." "That calls for a serenade in your honour." "For ideas like that we even have a garbage chute." "Hi!" "Hi!" "Hi!" "Ah, there you have it!" ""My neighbour Onegin"..." "We've met somewhere before." "Your face is so familiar..." " Yes..." "But where?" " Where?" " Perhaps..." " No, no..." " Sorry." " Or perhaps..." " No, no..." " Sorry." "And where is the kindergarten, the hairdresser's, the launderette?" " The school is round the corner..." " And where's the caretaker?" "Where is he?" "Disappeared!" "And we've been waiting for him for ages!" "The caretaker!" " Not the caretaker." " But the property manager." "I manage all of these houses." " How much longer..." " Please, no threats." " We've been waiting for ages!" " I'm on my own." "There're so many of you." " But you can't..." " There are so many of you and I'm on my own!" " Here's our coupon..." " Everyone's got a coupon." " We've been waiting here since early morning." " So has everyone else." " How can this happen?" " There's a good reason for everything." "We were told to come at six." "There was a good reason for that." "Lyusya..." " Yes..." " I've been meaning to tell you for a while..." " Well, then say it." " But I was saying..." " You're not saying anything." " I am." " No, nothing." " Yes." " Well, say it then!" " I was saying..." " And?" "I..." "Seryoshka..." "Your Lyusya..." "Congratulations!" "What happened?" " Hi, Sergey!" "Your Lyusya..." "Have you heard yet?" " What's the matter with her?" "Have you heard, boys?" "He doesn't know yet..." "Your Lyusya has..." "What?" "Seryoga!" "Your Lyusya has..." " What's the matter with her?" " Are you crazy?" "She got a flat." "In this house." " What's the matter?" " I have a big problem." " A problem?" " Yes." "Lyusya's got a flat." "What a nightmare..." "Give me your hand, Vavochka." "This is the shortest route." "We're almost there." "Just a few more steps." " "No entry"." " I didn't know that." "What do you know anyway?" "And stupid me believed you." " "We'll drive a company car!"" " They've been abolished." ""I will wait on you hand and foot..."" " Okay then!" " My doctor said I'm not allowed to." "I'm not moving." " Vavochka..." " No!" " Vavulya..." "When she lived in the dormitory I said nothing." "Should I come along now and say:" ""Hi!" "I love you."?" "But this would be the right moment." "You're weird!" "What sort of love is possible in a hostel?" "Love needs a lot of space." "That is my teacher equipped with the very best:" "Two people in a flat with two rooms." "What sort of a person are you?" "A normal person." "A philosopher." " For that sort of philosophy I could..." " Hit me?" "Re-educate me?" "Listen, you philosophizing blaster!" "You should best blast something in yourself." "We'll build a house, a big one." "Everything in it has to be new." "Your conscience must be clear and your word honest." "There is no room, there is no room for doubts and worries." "We should leave the whole rubbish outside." "Everything that gets in the way we'll leave outside the new house." "We'll build a new, light house so that everyone in it can breathe easily." "We'll build a house, a big house so that songs can be sung, so that smiles bloom and no sadness can be found." "So that people can be happy there and children can be heard laughing." "We'll build a house, a big house, our Soviet homeland." "Everything that gets in the way we'll leave outside the new house." "We'll build a new, light house so that everyone in it can breathe easily." " What does that mean?" " What do you mean?" " Why didn't you pick us up?" " It was a misunderstanding." "Fyodor Michailovich said I should be at his wife's at 4." "So I went to his former wife." "Sorry." " You should have understood." " I only understand myself on motors." "This car is here to transport materials." " And me?" " You aren't material." "But..." " Valka!" " I don't believe it!" "Borka!" "Borenka!" "What a surprise!" "I've looked everywhere for you." " Stop lying." " Honestly." "The boys said:" ""Forget it." "The old frump got married."" "Stop!" "And?" "Where were you the whole time?" "May I introduce..." "Fyodor Michailovich, my husband." " And this is Borka..." "Boris Ivanovich." " Really?" " A childhood friend..." "...and a school friend." " Koretski, Boris Georgievich." " Boris Georgievich?" "Drebednev." "And?" "How are you?" "Where do you work?" "I'm fine." "I work with enormous enthusiasm." " Get a flat, too?" " Yes." "It worked!" "Here are the keys." " Are they being distributed?" " Don't be upset." "I'm already going." " Please excuse me, young man." " Of course." " Go, darling." " Delightful!" " What a nerve!" "Do you know how clever he is?" " Is the flat nice?" " A flat with two rooms." "Two rooms." "Nice." "Sonka Muchina got a flat, too." " With three rooms." " You liar!" " She married a professor, didn't she?" " So?" "She's fat and her mouth is like a postbox." "But the flat is beautiful." "With oriel windows, with a balcony!" "The professor will leave anyway." "She's too old-fashioned." "But you can always swap a flat with three rooms for two smaller ones." "So!" "If I only wanted I could have a flat with four rooms." " And it's really easier to swap one like that for two smaller ones." " Right!" "Sonka Muchina..." "A flat with three rooms..." "She doesn't even dress well." "I only need to say one word..." "Sorry." "I'll be right back." " So?" "Did you get the keys?" " You are still here?" " Did you think I would go without saying goodbye?" " Adieu." "I prefer "goodbye"." "When is the house-warming party?" "Tomorrow?" "Shouldn't we settle in first?" "House-warmings have to take place in empty flats." "So that the guests can sit on the window sills and everyone brings crockery as a wedding present." "Why wedding?" "Why celebrate twice?" " Are you crazy?" " No." "Honestly." "Not so long ago I thought that only crazy people got married." "Today I know that only crazy people would object to marrying a girl like you." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Somehow I got everything mixed up and I can't find my centre." "And somehow I'm always looking for something..." "Waiting, waiting..." "You can dream away your whole life like that." "Everyone knows what he wants, everyone has a goal." "Only I'm different." "I wait, wait, wait..." " I come every day!" " My child is alone at home!" " I have to go to work!" " What's the problem?" "If you didn't get a key today you'll get one tomorrow." " They say that every day!" " Or the day after." " That's a cheek." " How much longer?" "Here comes the comrade." "Please ask him everything." "Comrade Head Administrator..." "You know..." " The handover didn't happen." " That's right." " There's no handover protocol." " Exactly!" "Without the protocol there's no house." "It's not ours." " Whose then?" " No one's." " And there are no keys!" "That's right!" "Understand?" " That is so unfair, a scandal!" " What?" "A scandal?" "Just a minute!" " Who calls a council directive "scandal"?" "!" " I'll find out." " And write a report!" " Yes, sir, a report!" " Everything okay." " Good." " We're getting a flat with four rooms." "Really?" " Exactly." "Unbelievable!" "We want to look at the flat but aren't getting the keys!" " Dad!" " Wait!" " Yes, sir!" " See?" "Lyusya." "If I'd come yesterday everything would be fine." "And what will you say if I come today?" "Seryosha, I have a flat." "Do you understand, Sergey Nikolevich?" "We've got a flat." "We went for a walk on the other bank where there are no paths at all." "But the stars directed us and the world was at our feet." "He showed me a star, then he sighed and said:" ""Love is a star"" ""but sometimes even a star goes out."" "Love is a ray and a ray of light can pass through a storm cloud." "The storm clouds have moved to the east." "The fog on the river thickened." "I plucked a flower from the ground and pulled the petals off..." "I picked up the petals, sighed and said:" ""Love is a flower"" ""and flowers, as everyone knows, have short lives."" "Love is a flower and flowers, as everyone knows, have short lives." "There are lots of flowers." "What could I say to him?" "You took the ring off." "It left a mark." "I put the ring back on as if to say to him:" ""Love is a ring"" ""and, as everyone knows, a ring has no end."" "Love is a ring and, as everyone knows, a ring has no end." "Lyusya!" "What?" " Lyusya, I..." " Seryoga!" "Your help is needed." " What's the matter?" " Something important." " What?" "Left!" "Further left!" "So..." "Welcome to flat No. 48!" "Thanks!" "Look, dad!" " They are already here..." " Coccinella septempunctata..." "Oh, a ladybird..." " It's so light here!" " We're putting up curtains." " And slippery." " We'll spread out sand." " The heating is so hot." " Don't worry, it'll be cold in the winter." "And?" "Sorry we've kept you so long." " You're probably in a hurry." " What can we do?" " We have to move, don't we?" " Exactly!" "A sobering view of things!" "You have to move immediately." "Seryoga will help you with your bags." "And in the meantime we'll defend the concentration area." " And where's the crane?" " Why a crane?" " Please." " Thank you, young man." "Wait, dad!" "And you, Lidochka, you stay here." "Understand?" "Make yourself at home." " Is this really our flat?" " Yes, ours." "That's yours." "Please!" "A branch of your museum, the standard flat in the second half of the twentieth century." "The Early Reinforced Concrete Age." "The age of normed parts." "All objects are real." "Don't touch!" " You'd make a good tourist guide." " I am just an object in the exhibit." "End of the nineteenth, start of the twentieth century:" "The fall of capitalism." " So we missed each other by three centuries." " Only?" "I specialize in the seventeeth century." "I don't mind going back three centuries for you." "I am at your feet, fair lady!" "Hello!" "Don't put me to death but let me speak!" "Speak, you fine figure of a man, my valiant knight!" "Be mine, fair lady!" "Your apartment is so light!" "What a lovely chamber!" "One's own chamber with all comforts." "Oh, Gusli, should I not delight you with a sweet voice?" "Or are you expecting someone else?" "Am I not your sharp-eyed hawk?" "Well, why don't you invite me to your chamber?" "My lord, that is idle talk!" "What is it you desire?" "Words are not enough:" "First show me of what you're able." "I want to be amused and charmed!" "Still, my sharp-eyed hawk, the seventeenth century isn't your thing." "Why not?" "Your style is so different." "So different?" "I'll show you." "Be mine and all will be well." "What is love?" "Nothing but trouble." "I like you." "But really!" "Let's live together in one flat." "And the rest is not important." " How lovely!" "You have a superb vocabulary." " Great!" " And the use of words?" " Perfect!" " Your hand!" " By your leave!" " Should we take a walk?" " Let's!" "Are you not angry with me, noble knight?" "Should the noble knight take his leave perhaps?" "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Or perhaps "Adieu"?" "Yes, perhaps that is better..." "Somehow I got everything into a jumble and I cannot find my centre." "And somehow" "I'm always looking for something..." "What can I say so that he knows that I'm ready to share any nest with him like a bisector?" "To this day I have not forgotten her, the names of the rivers and hills, where to put a comma and where not," "what current density is." "But I live on my own." "For ever alone, like a bit of land surrounded by water..." "For ever alone, like a bit of land surrounded by water..." "What's the matter?" "There." "What does that mean?" "Who are they?" "Who said you could?" "My God!" "Everything here has collapsed..." " I've got the coupon..." " We have a coupon for flat No. 48." " Show him the paper." " Paper?" "Which paper?" "Please stay calm, comrades." "There is no flat No. 48." " Sorry?" " But we've got the coupon!" " Everyone's got a coupon." " Is that so hard to understand?" "Your flat no longer exists." "What does "no longer" mean?" "Please stay calm, comrades!" "Not "no longer" but "not at all"." " It doesn't exist." " What!" " How is that possible?" "I just told you in plain Russian..." " There's a protocol for that." " Yes!" " Flat No. 48 doesn't exist." " Exactly." " But how is that possible?" " The coupon from the council..." " And we've been waiting since..." " Tell her, Barabashkin!" " There's a protocol for that." " Yes." " There is no flat No. 48." " Exactly." " What shall we do now?" " Go and complain." " The flat doesn't exist." " But..." "Hi!" " Sorry." " Hello!" " Hello!" " So?" "Did you remember?" " What?" "Oh, yes..." "No." "And you?" " Me neither." " Did we meet at the sauna?" " I never go." " Why?" " Heart trouble." " Shame." " Or did we..." "Can't be." "I don't drink." "Shame..." "Just imagine:" "He wanted to take the smallest flat himself." "So much modesty." "Don't you understand:" "I love you more than anything." "I want to help you with your work, share your interests, worship you." "How can I worship you in two small rooms?" " There's a big corridor." " Very funny." " So?" " Instead of two kitchens I'll have a boudoir put in." " What are you having put in?" " A boudoir." "She wants a boudoir put in." "And for that I have to..." "Don't worry." "We'll sort that out." " Do you know why I love her?" " Why?" "Because she loves me madly." " She loves me for my sufferings." "I love her..." " A reciprocal relationship." "Your signature, please." "Two flats are made into one." "That's nothing new." "Your signature, please." "Fyodor Michailovich, here too, please." " What are you doing?" " You know me, don't you?" "You can count on me." "It's because I know you." "I'd do anything for you." "Why?" "Because I look to the future." "I'll help you, you'll help me, we'll help them, they'll help us." "Of course!" "No." "Without connections you can't get anywhere." "You can't even make connections if you don't have connections." "No, these connections get in the way." "Time and again that has been proven." "You can get totally tangled up in relationships." "Don't harp on about your relationships." "I don't want to know about them." "Once you've got a relationship you have a hard time getting rid of them again!" "I repeat:" "Relationships, only relationships are of value." "You can change them." "Minus times minus equals plus." "Relationships are pure nonsense." "You have to see the bigger picture." "I know what I'm talking about, just like I know that two times two is four." "But if you've got a good relationship and you live in peace with your boss two times two can also be three or five" "or whatever is necessary." "So..." "Be careful, your fingers." "And?" "Shall we have a tea?" "Help yourself." "Somehow..." "I don't care for tea." "At all?" "But we wanted to buy a new service anyway." "Doesn't matter..." "I'm going to the kitchen." "Do you have anything for the garbage chute?" " Now you can throw me away, if you want." " Well, then come along." " Can you hear anything?" " No." "Right." "There's nothing." " The door doesn't grate." " Why should it grate?" " We have a very nice door, don't you think?" " Of course." "Our doorbell..." "Did you hear?" "Its ring is so lovely." "There are also shrill, horrible rings." "But this one is somehow "intelligent"." "I think it's melodic." "We don't have to guess for whom it's ringing." "For us!" " Yes, we have a nice doorbell." " A really nice one." " Just listen." " Lovely..." "So lovely..." " But it's ringing for us." " Yes, of course." " Someone's ringing for us." " Someone's come to visit!" " Yes." " Wait, I'll open the door." " How can I help you?" " Sorry." "We are your neighbours." "We live downstairs." " But no one gave us a key." " That Barabashkin!" "Do come in." "These are our neighbours, Sasha." " Please." " Thanks." "Hello..." "This is exactly the same flat as ours!" "Very nice..." "to know how the flats are set up." " This is the dining room." " The bedroom." " Bedroom?" " Don't backchat." "This will be our bedroom." " Hello..." " Sorry." "We are your neighbours." " From upstairs." " Pleased to meet you." "I'm Masha." " Come in." " And where is..." " The kitchen?" " No..." "I mean..." " Oh, yes..." "Please!" " No." "I mean, where is north?" " The radio?" " No!" "Real north." "I don't know..." " Here everywhere's south." " That's not possible." "Yes, it is." "That's how they build today." "A new method, the so-called "south-west method"." "Please come in." "Okay..." "At my age that's normal..." " Normal?" " Yes." " Mylkin!" " Pavel Petrovich!" "Article 206, Part 3." "Oh, sorry, the decree from 15. 12. 1956!" " Kurochkin, the people's judge!" " You appeared before me." " You locked a woman..." "...in my room." " And I locked you up for fifteen days." " Good to see you again." " And now we're neighbours." " Of course." " Wall to wall, so to speak." " Heart to heart." "Now what?" "Have a seat." "Make yourself comfortable." "Should I teach you an important rule of life?" " Do you have rules of life?" " Of course." "And I'm happy to share them with you." "You should see all your problems from the outside." "Whatever happens, say to yourself:" ""That's nothing to do with me."" "House collapsed, flat taken away..." "What's that to me?" "An annoying bloke fell in love with me at first sight..." "What's that to me?" "Do you remember how it was in the fairy-tales?" "Three little pigs built a house." "The big bad wolf broke in." "But who won in the end?" "The little pigs!" "And why?" "Because they sang the whole time:" ""We're not afraid of the big bad wolf, big bad wolf..."" "Chin up!" "Spring is here!" "My soul is full of spring..." "So we're not afraid of the big bad wolf?" "There is no wolf you can't wrap around your little finger." " What are you doing?" " Can't you see?" " I'm working." " But that's my suitcase." "Mine, mine, mine..." "You all want things!" "How small-minded!" " What do you think you're doing!" " What can you say?" "I am..." "I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf." "So... 2.2 metres..." "This is where the bed will be." " Not the bed, the sideboard." " Forget it." "This way." "This is where the bed will be!" "And here..." "Come here, girl." "So..." "This is where the lamp will be." "The lamp will be here." "No!" "For heaven's sake!" "The lamp will be here." "And there... there will..." "Exactly..." "This is where the bedside table will be." " A bedside table in the dining room?" " But that's the bedroom!" " A bedroom in the dining room?" " The dining room is in the kitchen." "Oh..." "So the kitchen is in the bedroom." "Once long, twice short." "That's for me." " What do you mean, for you?" " Wait, Masha." " Hello!" " Hello!" " Do you all want to see me?" " We are your neighbours." "Well okay, come in then!" "He's also coming to visit me." " Congratulations." " Thanks." "That's okay, Masha." "Come in." "Careful!" "What are you doing?" "Very comfy!" "And, so that it's even comfier, we've brought something..." "Irina!" "Just a minute..." "Let's drink to the house-warming party..." " Right!" "Let's drink to the house-warming party!" " To the house-warming party!" "But it's our flat." "It's just like yours." "But it's ours." " So that's your child?" " No, the flat." " Oh, not your flat." " Yes, yes..." "That Barabashkin won't give us a key." "And we are so curious to see what it looks like." " Why don't you come and visit us?" " You, too." " Us, too!" " Thanks." " Thanks." " Okay." "Comrades!" " Kiss!" " Why "kiss"?" " Kiss!" " Why?" " Doesn't matter." "Kiss!" " Kiss!" " Give me that..." " Kiss!" "Off we go!" " Welcome!" " Come and visit!" " You first!" " No, you first!" " With pleasure!" " We're always here in the evening." " Drop in sometime!" " Would love to!" " Why not?" " That would be lovely." " Kiss!" "Kiss!" "Not over yet!" " Come by." "There's space for everyone." " And if not, it doesn't matter." "As long as a festive mood prevails in the house and in the heart!" "Without guests, cake tastes awful." "Without guests, one is sad." "Without guests, the heart is bitter." "Kiss!" "Kiss!" "On we go!" "Kiss!" "Kiss!" "On we go!" "An anniversary, a name-day, a birthday, a jubilee, a house-warming party or a wedding, how can we celebrate without guests?" "Who'll toast to your health?" "Happily we drink and sing:" "Kiss!" "On we go..." "Well..." "I imagined my move to be somewhat different..." "Tomorrow I'll go to the town council." "You are so naïve..." "You always try to go the easy way." "But only in maths is the shortest way straight on." "In life, however, the shortest way has bends." " Is that another one of your life's rules again?" " Yes." "Then we go different ways." "Don't jump to conclusions." "By the way, I have an idea..." "There she is..." " Your bendy line?" " Creativity has rewards!" "On we go!" "Bye." "Vavochka!" "What are you doing here?" "Our driver's gone home." "We need to call a taxi." "Vava!" "Just a minute..." "By the way, the flat with four rooms was a very good decision." "Of course." "Fedya has to work a lot." " Very wise." "And with foresight." " What do you mean?" "A flat with four rooms, as your wife so rightly said, can always be swapped for two flats in different parts of town." "Hey, can you give them a lift, my friend?" "Please get in." "Fedya!" "Believe me, I have..." "Fedya!" "Another time." " Here are the documents." " Thanks." "And how are you?" "Boris told me the silly story about the flat." ""Silly story"?" "Your Boris always finds the right words." "This "silly story" happened before your eyes." "You also seem to be following his rule of life: "That's nothing to do with me."" " How can I help?" " Why help?" "Wait instead!" "Wait until someone else helps." "Drebednev occupied a flat." "Should we just ignore that?" " The Baburovs can live with us in the meantime." " There's enough space." " They ought to live with us instead!" " No, with us!" "Give me that Barabashkin!" "Even if I go to prison afterwards." "There is a way against this Drebednev!" "And we will find it!" "Yes, they rang me." "Tell them to come in." "Please..." "Please wait." "Come." "He's probably already here." "I'll be right back, Lidochka." "Lidochka!" "I report:" "The Drebednevs don't need a four-roomed flat." " I don't understand..." " I told you that the shortest way has bends." "I told the happy pair about their future..." "More about that in the papers in the "Divorces" column." "Let's go, comrades." "Why are you so quiet?" "Are you unhappy?" "I think it's revolting." "And you like the idea that they wanted to steal your flat?" "You have to cry with the wolves!" "To become a wolf yourself?" " Why?" " Because this bendy route leads you straight to Drebednev and his Vavochka!" " I should be like Drebednev?" " So, that's what your rules of life are..." "In my soul there is only me." "For just one look," "I give you my heart." "You don't care who takes it." "Because for a long time you haven't had a heart." "Why should you trust what you don't have?" "In the beginning it was just excitement, playing with fire at any price." "Tricking, grabbing, being clever, just don't lose sight of the aim!" "Then you end up on the slippery slope and you say goodnight to honour." "Then you don't care about your conscience, you start cheating, you become snooty and arrogant." "And before you know it you've become a complete Drebednev." "And don't forget that I'm not waiting for a partner like that..." " Lyusya..." " What?" "I want to say..." " You won't say anything to me anyway." " I will." "You won't." "I will!" "Everyone should hear!" " I love you, Lyusya." " Sorry?" " I've said it often enough." " That's not true." " It is!" " No." "You said nothing." "Now suddenly you talk" " when everyone's looking..." " They should!" "Lyusya!" "Let's get married." "Sorry." "What happened to you?" "I've always loved you and I was right when I said:" ""Love is a ray and a bright ray"" ""can pass through a storm cloud."" "My love is like a bright ray and I want you to know:" "Love is a ring and, as everyone knows, a ring has no end." "Love is a ring and, as everyone knows, a ring has no end." "Wow!" " Finally!" " Congratulations!" " Be happy!" " Where did you find the courage?" " I don't know..." "Perhaps..." "Maybe because of the bench?" " A magic bench..." " Exactly!" " What's so magic about it?" " Just look around!" "Everything you see here was magicked here by us." "Comrades!" "Comrades!" " That is a magic bench." " Right." "Whoever sits on it will be strong and determined and his innermost wish will be granted." "No one can tell lies on this bench." "Of course..." " And the innermost wishes will be granted?" " Yes." " Impossible." " You don't believe us?" "Well okay, sit down then!" "Like this..." " Comrade Baburov?" " I'm here." "Hello, comrade Baburov." "How are you?" "How's your health?" "Why didn't you ask me first?" "That is my duty!" "And duty is law for me." "Here are your keys." "You can move in." "All the best!" "Drebednev gives out keys himself..." "That is against nature." " How could this happen?" " Because we magicked it here." "Are you crazy, Fedya?" "What does that mean?" "Don't be upset." " They took us off the list." " Sorry?" "According to our wishes and those of the Senior Administrator..." " What?" " Let's go to Barabashkin." " Why?" "I'll take over his job and he'll clean the streets..." "And?" "Do you believe our magic powers now?" "Oh..." "You can only use magic against Drebednev?" "Don't we have magic powers?" "Who is the almighty "we"?" ""We" are the ones who built Cheryomushki and the ones it was built for." "Who am I then?" "A foreigner?" "Everything that gets in the way of life..." "After all my hard work!" "We'll build a house, a bright house so that everyone in it can breathe easily..." "Or should I blast something in me?" "They are just unable to appreciate someone for his business qualities." "You are being misunderstood." "I am, too." "The crook Barabashkin is to be blamed for everything." "What's that to me?" "Leave me alone!" " Leave me!" " Borya!" "How good to see you!" "There's no way I can love this person." "Love needs a lot of space." "Borya!" "Vava!" "Vava!" "If I only had your problems..." "So, everyone who sits on this bench tells the truth..." "The bench isn't bad." "It wouldn't be out of place in our administration." "Terrible!" "The cybernetics..." "Why was I reduced to a street cleaner?" "What did I do?" "Did I give false permits?" "Yes, I did." "Or lie about sizes?" "Yes, I did." " Or give Drebednev an advantage?" "Yes." " What are you talking about?" "I say: "Yes, I did."" "Where are you going?" "Sit down, you idiot!" " Me?" " You!" " What?" " You old fool!" " Are you crazy?" "You lout!" "I am a lout." " And an old fool!" " Exactly!" " And also a, how does one say..." "rogue!" " And corrupt, too!" "And anyway you are a decent person, tactful and open for others." " I couldn't give a damn about them!" " Not so loud..." " Did you call me a "lout"?" " Not me, the bench." " The bench?" " Whoever sits on it tells the truth." " Take it away!" " Yes." "Sorry, but in a way you're no longer a boss..." " Are you still here?" "Now wait a minute!" " Vavochka!" " Call me Valentina Nikolevna, comrade caretaker." " Vava!" " Calm down!" " I am calm." "I used to worry:" "About the car, the boudoir..." "No more." " Do you see?" " I see everything!" "You lied to me, spat in my soul." "But I love you, and you love me." "Me love him?" "Did you hear that?" "You are a nothing and you have always been a nothing!" " I... a nothing?" " Yes." " And you are a... whore!" " Not so loud, comrades!" " I made her into a human!" " What did you do?" " Don't make me laugh!" " Sit down!" "Me love him?" "You ridiculous, immoral bloke!" " Stand up!" " A nothing!" " Sit!" " Puppet!" " Stand up!" " Weakling!" " Sit!" " Rascal!" " Stand up!" "You old blighter, weakling, puppet, crook!" "Enough..." "It's broken." "HOUSE ADMINISTRATION" "Are they all gone?" "Careful!" "Here we go!" "Careful!" " Run!" " Borya!" "Cheryomushki, in Cheryomushki the cherry trees blossom." "And all the dreams of its inhabitants will be granted." "Not all of the green trees have bloomed." "Not all of the lovers have found each other." "THE END"