"The Man Who Was Allowed to Leave" "You are both keeping well?" "!" "It's all right for some." "Not having to go the office." "Your father deserves it, dear." "And he's never kept a manager's hours." "Unlike some people." "Hello!" "Come in!" "Well, what do you say?" "Lovely!" "A good thing he's taking you to a ball at last .. . eh?" "Yes." "You can afford two cars these days?" "Yes." "Stay a bit longer." "Come with me." "Your wife certainly suits Faroese dress!" "Yes." "We could never afford a car." ""No, and that's why we've been so happy, your dad and I."" "Yes!" "Why aren't you happy?" "Let your mother give you some advice." "You shouldn't leave a young wife on her own so much." "One day, suddenly it's too late." "You should follow your father's example." "He's never look at anyone else   even if they were stark naked." "He must be the last of his kind in the world." "Don't forget what your mother has told you, my lad." "Do come and see my parents, Maria." "I can't face them alone." "I can't face a family quarrel." "If you come, they won't go on about my hair dye   or meeting a nice Faroese boy." "Please!" "I haven't got one either." "No. but you're at foreigner." "Are you sure you haven't got some Sheikh hiding away?" "No." "I haven't the energy any more." "Modern men are so demanding." "Thank you." "You have such beautiful hair." "Why dye it all the time?" "It's since she went abroad." "What's the matter with her?" "Does she understand Faroese?" "I'm sorry, I get like this sometimes." "Right, I'm ready again." "What do you think?" "Doesn't she look lovely?" "Don't let it bother you." "There are women without make-up and women with make-up." "There are men," " who hate women in make-up and men who can't get enough of them." "We women will never change society," " whether we start wearing it or stop." "And anyway, I think ..." "Damn!" "I must eat more calcium." "It's late." "It's your bed time." "Maria has other things on her mind." "Yes, I have to prepare for my studies tomorrow." "Thank you for a lovely evening." ""Góða nátt."" "So you are a student?" " Yes, she is studying Faroese men." "Do come again soon." "And our daughter, who's always been so sensible!" "Alas!" "Those poor, confused foreigners!" "Bloody idiot!" "Come back here, you f****** asphalt cowboy!" "Men and their bleeding motorbikes." "Bastard!" "You poor thing ..." "Hey, it's me!" "Maria!" "Thank you for the other evening." "I'm sorry you got wet, too." "Never mind." "I live nearby." "Come and dry off at my place." "I was just running errands for my wife." "You can run them later." "Come home with me." "It's the least I can do." "Is anything the matter, dear?" "In bare feet, too!" "Where are your night socks?" "Have you visited the bucket?" "Nothing's the matter, dear." "And I've been very warm in those night socks lately." "You should have said!" "I'd have knitted thinner ones." "You do far too much for me." " Nonsense." "That's the way it's always been." "Hurry back to bed, you mustn't forget your bladder infection." "All right." "Open it!" " What's going on?" "Surely I'm too old for this?" "Perhaps we need something new   and different." "We've done without for so long, why now?" "I must think of my rheumatism." "This is for a far younger woman." "But you couldn't have known, dear." "I thought it was time for a change." "The children never liked that hard, brown paper." "You think I ever liked it?" "And as for the children   they left home 15 years ago!" "You must tell me if anything is wrong." "Don't keep everything inside you as usual." "Now that would be something new and different!" "So now I can go to the bathroom without scratching my bum to bits." "He's taken to chewing gum." "And he won't touch tea any more, only coffee." "But his weak tummy!" "Can he take it?" "He smells different, too." "He used perfumed soap yesterday." "He's probably started chasing skirt." "No, he's obviously going senile." "I hope he doesn't do anything stupid." "So embarrassing for the rest of us." "Don't bring me into this ... brother." "Why are you always so scared of what people might say?" "Mummy .. ." "Mightn't a bit of excitement be a good thing?" "You might be spared some of his old habits." "I thought I'd got used to them." "I'm not sure if excitement is a good thing   when you're almost 70 years old." "Take no notice, darling." "You must let me go and live with the girl in the window." "My poor, silly man." "Oh, it's you." "They said the minister was here." "Yes ..." "I like sitting here and letting the spirit descend upon me." "I wish I could sit here and hear myself preach." "You'll have to pray for a miracle, then." "I am worried about my husband." " Why so?" "There's this younger woman ..." " Oh?" "I saw him the other day." " I beg you to help me talk to him." "As I'm sure you know, younger women are so demanding." "I suppose they must be." "His health isn't what it was." "And the younger woman is Swedish." "Him!" "He can't abide Swedes!" "Really?" "He can't forget that a Swede once mistook him for a Norwegian." "Anyway, I can't sit here all day." "Of course I will do my best." "Shall I come and see you both?" "No, it would be more effective to talk to him here." "In the presence of ... everything." "What have I let myself in for?" "Why involve God and the minister?" "What about calling in the police as well?" "You'll be happier afterwards, dear." "What about your rheumatism?" "And I expect this is the man she really wants." "What about your prostate?" "Will your little girlie point it for you when needs be?" "And who will fill your hot water bottles?" "I worry about your not being looked after." "You always worry about something, dear." "We walked here 40 years ago, too." "But we were more dressed up." "Do you remember, dear?" "God knows how an old bachelor is to handle this?" "Will you?" "You can talk to the minister, he has promised to help." "Why me?" "You brought me here." "The thing is ..." "She is afraid you are making a big mistake   which could harm you." "I know, I know." "But I can assure you both that I am not gaga   and I know what I'm doing." "Yes, but have you thought hard enough?" "You are no longer young." "And younger women are so demanding?" "Isn't that what people say?" "Let me tell you one thing." "Older men have sexual needs too." "They need taking care of, too." "Maybe you could tell my wife that?" "But, darling!" "We all slowly become eccentric as the years go by." "I know your habits and vices and I can help you with them." "Perhaps I'll get rid of my eccentricities   when I no longer have to exist on old habits?" "I can't stand the thought of anyone disappointing you now." "Precisely. "I've been bossing him about for so many years."" "How can he possibly live by himself?" "Isn't that how your mind works?" " Who knows?" "Maybe it is." "But a young Swedish woman will be much too emancipated   for a crotchety old Faroe bumpkin whose health is going." "Perhaps I want to be disappointed." "Just once in my life." "All right!" "On your head be it!" "But I'm afraid you won't survive out there." "Run along." "In the face of a woman who believes so strongly in common sense   even a man of God must give in." "He's already here." "I must run." "Bye-bye." "What brings you home to your wife so early, dear?" "Is supper ready for your husband, dear?" "No, but people say your father's found a lovely Swedish lass." "Was that what you were gossiping about just now?" "Just ask your mother." "You get on so well." "Hey, you!" "You!" "What's the difference between Swedish and Faroese massage?" "Is there any difference?" " Ask your dad, then." "He knows." ""One, two, three ..."" "What a fine visitor!" "I didn't know you knew where I lived." "Have you heard from mum and dad?" " Why all this sudden interest?" "A man just asked about the difference between Faroese and Swedish massage" "Unfortunately it's true." "He's gone." "To your Swedish Maria." "I let him move in with her." "It's damned embarrassing to hear it as gossip." "You should have let us help you." " Some things are best done oneself." "I thought the minister and I could talk sense into him." "It's shameful." "The old goat has made a laughing-stock of us all." "You're a fine one to speak!" "You laughed at him because he only had eyes for me." "But I still say   he's been the best husband on earth." "Your hypocrisy is unbearable, brother." "Or are you jealous because dad was the first to taste   that lovely warm Swedish blueberry soup?" "Hold your tongue, sister dear." "You brought that floozy here!" "If you want to argue   about my private life, go somewhere else." "Let him dream his dreams in peace." "Promise me!" "She won't like whale meat or blubber." "So he won't get them from her, poor man." "Serve him right!" "And she'll never have seen a hot water bottle." "If only I could give him one!" "His bottom gets so chilly." "He won't be needing a hot water bottle, the old goat!" "Stop here ..." "No!" "Let him dream himself away a moment!" "His heart can't stand such shocks." "I see!" "You don't need your stick any longer!" "That will do!" "Give him a rest!" "Think of M Y heart, dear!" "I want to go home now, Mummy." "My wife is waiting." "This time it's true." "It's ridiculous, following dad and that tart like that." "Is that what you call your old friend?" "Wouldn't it be better to talk to him?" "You've spent too long abroad, my dear." "I'm fed up with sitting at home on my own . .." "See to your wife, brother." "I'll drive mummy home." "Now what's wrong with you, Mummy?" "You yourself say young wives shouldn't be left alone too much." "It looks as if it's too late already." "I must run mum home first." "Then I'll hurry back to you." "I see you still need your daily dose of Swedish vitamins?" "I thought you came here to study "Faroe islanders as a Phenomenon."" "I didn't know you were planning   to tempt an old Faroese man from his family." "Aren't you just playing with his emotions   without being serious?" "You seem to know your father as little as you know me " "I don't know him from your angle." " Unfortunately, maybe." "I'm not as perverse   as you." "God, how stupid of me!" "I'd forgotten." "You Faroese are never perverse." "You leave that to us foreigners." "But why, Maria?" "Why him of all people?" "Have you any idea what made you seduce an old man?" "Such appreciation of your father's abilities as a man!" "It is a shame   you don't know him from my angle." "And since I don't need to know why I did so, neither do you." "It just turned out like that." "He is still asleep." "Oh!" "Is he ill?" "He never sleeps this late in the morning at home." "I've brought some of his things." "I know he'll need them   now that autumn's coming." "I've used thinner wool for his night socks." "He seems so warm without socks." "Oh?" "How is his rheumatism?" "And his prostate!" "How does he pass the time without his garden?" "Oh, yes ..." "I almost forgot his tie." "He was always so fond of this tie." "A strong, good tie." "He's worn it for years, but you can't tell." "Look!" "Do you think he'd like his tall arm chair?" "For the long winter evenings?" "What about his breakfast?" "Perhaps I could help with the housework?" "What's wrong with the pier?" "Darling, we've been there twice today already." "So what?" "That's not much compared to other people." "My son and his wife often drive out to the pier, I know." "They even sit in separate cars." "How can one live in a country   where the most exciting thing on a Sunday is a drive to the pier   and back again?" "Are you asking me, or do you know the answer?" "I am now 66 years old." "I have survived 3462 Sundays." "I reckon I'll survive a couple more." "Won't you turn it off?" "I can't hear myself think." "OK, as his lordship wishes." "Perhaps he'd rather think of the kind of music he and his wife listened to?" "Yes, it used to be so cosy, listening to music on Sundays." "But what we liked best was enjoying the silence." "I suppose you know she spies on us?" "No!" "She's got better things to do." "I bet she has." "I bet she's in her clean kitchen right now   making a beautiful black pudding." "Yes, she's good at that, too." "And you, my dear, haven't left your wife by so much as a metre." "Just look at you!" "You're even wearing the hideous tie your wife brought." "Where's the one I gave you?" " It made me feel silly." "It was too loud." "Why doesn't his lordship go back to his dear little wife?" "So she can have her little boy back?" "Yes." "That might be the best thing, I guess." "Alas." "I should have been firm, and not let him go so easily." "Perhaps I should have listened to my daughter." "But I was so sure I was doing what was right." "We cannot always know what is right." "Who does know?" "God, maybe?" "If so, why does he keep it a secret?" "It may seem that way to us on earth." "My condolences ..." "A cup of tea?" "No, thank you." "Don't judge yourself too harshly." "No." "I can't sit around all day long." "Forgive me." "I was on my way out." "To enter his death in the register." "Now Maria will need help." "Maria, need help?" "She killed daddy!" "Shame on you!" "Of course we must help her." "She'll never have arranged a funeral before." "Abroad, they have others who deal with such things." "Yes, Mummy." "You should have lived abroad, and avoided such a life of toil." "I don't want to avoid thinking about all that has to be done." "I want a real wake." "Here, at home." "Why should she get off so lightly?" " Get off lightly?" "She was driving the car." "I expect she'll be here soon." "You asked her over?" "Yes." "And if you don't like it, dear, you'd better go." "I didn't wish to intrude." "Not everyone needs our help to an equal degree." "My condolences." " Thank you." "Did you know that he was on his way back to his wife when it happened." "He was strangled by the tie his wife had brought." "What am I to do?" "Don't mention the tie." "Comfort her and tell her   he was on his way back to her, so she was right after all." "Good evening." "Good evening ..." "I'd like to talk to the minister." "It's about me and my wife ..."