"Hey, Chestnut, give me the key." "Three..." "Two..." "One..." "How the fuck does he do that?" "Did he learn to speak telephone-language?" "The orders have changed." "The target is two hours late." "Damn, everytime we're supposed to kill someone we get fucking canceled." "Kill someone?" " Weren't we supposed to blow some place up?" "That's tomorrow." "Why am I always the last to hear anything?" "It's all your fault, you drunk." "Who are we going to kill?" "You took this from the back." "I can't trust anyone." "Most of all, I don't trust you." " Turn it over." "That's the guy?" " Now it's in here." "Get to work." "Set up the gun." "Don't hurt yourself now." "Help me out here, you lazy bum." "I'm going to chop you to pieces." "I'll read the instructions, eh." " Good day." " Good day." " Compliments on your purchase." "Thank you." "Fold the tripod out onto the ground." "Turn screw A with a Philips screwdriver." "Place the pin in ridge C." "Put hook B in the appropriate slot." "Secure the handle by pressing firmly on the underside." "Insert the barrel of the gun into the receiver which is now set at the correct height." " Now insert..." " Do it yourself." "What a day, dammit, we could have blown that place up long ago." "I'm in this business for my rest." "You ruin it for me." "Let's see..." " Good day." " Good day." " Compliments on your purchase." " Thank you." " Fold out the tripod..." "Done" " Turn bolt A..." " Done." " Place the pin..." " Done." " Put hook B..." " Done, done, done." " Secure..." " Done." "All done!" "This must be kept out the reach of little children." "Man, it's hot." "When are they going to fucking call?" "We've been waiting for two hours now." "I'm getting nervous... and that's not good." "I'm getting nervous... and that's not good." "Relax, Giovanni." "That asshole isn't getting worked up either." "He'll be the death of us." "But I'll kill him before that." " I'll help you." " What's this you have here?" "A red spot." "A hicky." " Is it very obvious?" " Very." " Who gave you that?" " Betty." " Betty?" "Do I know her?" " She was at Franco's party." " She dropped a glass." " The tall blonde one?" " With a ponytail." " That's not her." " With the white Mercedes." " I was in the shower..." "She's always with this dog." "With a grey coat." " A grey coat?" "That's her." " Tall woman, with a ponytail." "Her brother's a parachutist, and her mother throws parties." " Always with her legs crossed." " With her legs crossed?" " Then it's not her." " Anyway..." "With the ponytail and a dog." "That's not her." "She has a white Mercedes." "And shoe size 42." " Size 42?" "That's her." " That's Betty." " Tall woman, with a ponytail." " So I was in the shower..." "I've been in the shower for two hours now and I'm getting pneumonia!" " I told you, it's her..." " I understand." "I open the door, we're making love." "I'll spare you the details." " After making love, I don't know..." " No, you never know..." "I'm saying "I don't know" as a figure of speech." "I mean, I know, you know?" " So anyway, after making love, I don't know..." " You see." "I just meant to say "I don't know"." "So you do know." "If you say, "I don't know, I'd like to go to the beach," then you know." "I'm scared." " Room service." " Who ordered that?" "I ordered a pannini and beer." "What a situation." "Hold on to me!" " Come on, pull." " You're pulling my arm out." " What's happening?" " That dick is shooting the waiter." "I'll kill him." "Was I supposed to look stupid over a tip?" " Pull me up." " I'm trying." " Say, Giovanni..." " What is it?" "That's my car." "Stay away from my car, asshole!" "He's stealing my car radio." "Police!" " I don't want to look at that guy anymore." " Relax." " Can't you be left alone for a single minute?" " Calm down." "What a frightning ordeal." "It was this close to happening." "A car radio worth 50 dollars... stolen." "Thank God you're around." "Try not to think about it anymore." "It all ended well." "Ow, that hurts." "Don't touch me when I'm holding a gun." "Fuck!" "Not when I'm nervous!" "It's time!" "It's time!" "It's time!" "Hello?" " Everything taken care of?" " Call me back in a minute, I'm watching a film." "We're closing." "Where did you put the rings?" "How should I know?" "Call me back in a minute." "Did you get everything?" " Your suit?" "I'm not going to get married naked." " The rings?" " Of course I have them." "Your shoes?" " Of course I have my..." "I forgot the shoes!" " Without me you'd have to go in your slippers." " I'll get them right away." " The package arrived." "We'll pick it up tomorrow." "I'm picking you up at half past seven." " At half past seven?" " Alright then, quarter past seven." "Here he comes..." "Quiet, I've got him." "THREE MEN AND A LEG" "Will you turn off the light?" "ON VACATION ALL OF AUGUST" " What is it?" " It's seven past eight." "Is that any reason to yell like that?" "Hurry up." "We have to go get the package." "Just let me finish my peperonata." "Peperonata?" "At eight in the morning?" "And at noon he has dead mice?" "Hey Giovanni, how's your wife?" "Is she at the coast?" "Aren't you jealous?" "Give her my regards." "And signor Giacomo?" "The big day is approaching, eh?" " Are you nervous?" " A little." "I'm getting married in three days." "It's about time." "Then all three of you will finally have a normal household." "What I wanted to say is, if you don't move your car very soon my husband will scratch it and have it towed." "Understood?" "Safe journey, you two." "It's already ten past eight." "Why does that dog have his legs inside out?" "Excuse me." "Excuse me?" "First you don't greet me, and then you take my seat?" "You're right." "How are you?" "We're in a hurry." " Who are they?" " The maintenance guys." "Two of them are married to the Cecconi sisters and the third is marrying the youngest one now." "They're going south for the wedding because that's where Miss Cecconi is from." "All daughters of Cecconi?" "Of course." "The one with the big chain of hardware stores." "Without him those three would already be in the gutter." "Excuse me, you're getting dirt on the dashboard with your feet." " You are such a nitpicker." " Me, a nitpicker?" " A little, yeah." " But your're walking all over the dashboard." "You have to be able to take a little critisism." " You have your leg on the gear shift." " You are such a nit-picker." "Fine, we'll just keep driving in first gear." "And fasten your seatbelt or the insurance won't cover you." "We're only going 30 kilometres an hour." "See?" " You're such a bastard." " And a nit-picker." "I'll get the package." "You can..." "Why does it always have to be you?" "Can't I do it?" "No, but if you want to..." "What a disgusting dog." "Do you want coffee?" "Coffee?" "Yeah, he wants coffee." "What have you got against him?" "Stop blowing bubbles." "Stop it." " Want to armwrestle?" " We've armwrestled three times now." "Enough!" " Want to armwrestle?" " I'm reading the newspaper, son." " You can't say that to a child." " Ok, we'll armwrestle." "Are you ready?" "You start." "That's good." "Go!" "I am the man!" " Want to armwrestle?" " Stop it, idiot." " Don't go too far, Growler." " Go, Growler... cross the street." " Go on, Growler!" " Stop it now." "What took you so long?" "I didn't go for fries." "This is valuable stuff." "Put it in straight." "Move that further back." "Lay it down flat to be safe." " Lay it down flat." " Do it yourself." " If it's broken, I'll kill you." " Are we going to open it?" " Everything is in order." " What is this?" "170 million lire for this ugly thing?" " It's madness." " What's madness?" "This is by the great sculptor, Garpetz." "My handyman could do this for 30,000." "This one doesn't even have toenails." "What does our father-in-law want with this?" "Is a hardware dealer not allowed to like art?" "Real nice, what prejudice." "Growler!" "Telephone call!" "Telephone call!" "It's the phone... for me!" "Ciao, my monkey." "It's my monkey." "I'll call you monkey if I want to." "Where are you?" "In Lodi?" "They're only in Lodi." " Is that Giovanni?" " Tell him about the gifts." "Yes, lots of gifts." "A silver turtle with a clock in it and little ivory breasts." "A porcelain Christmas tissue box, and some crystal swans." "Are we doing karaoke before or after the cake?" "Give him to me for a moment." "Hurry up." " Don't talk so much." " Here's daddy." "Yes, it's daddy." "Hello?" "Take off that dress." "You look like a doll." "Hello?" "Have you got everything?" "The package, too?" "Everything is taken care of." "Compliments on the Garpetz." "What do you mean?" "I'm sorry." "The sculpture by Garpetz, it's beautiful." " My compliments." " That piece of shit?" "My handyman would have done it better for 30.000... with toenails." "But Garpetz is an artist of the transavantgarde." "His work is in the MOMA of New York." "And the sculptor is in General Hospital." "Yes, sir, with tubes in his nose and one in another hole." "He's nearly dead." "Those artists are addicts and gays." "But if he dies, the sculpture will be worth 300 million." "But you wouldn't understand." "Now give me the nit-picker." "Hello, nit-picker, where are you now?" "We're only about 40 kilometres from home." "Well, you'll have to hurry." "We're all going to have dinner at Gambrinuse, the restaurant." "The priest will be there, and I don't want to look stupid." "I hear Growler." "Growler, it's your papa." "Let me hear your little voice." "Good thing you're there, Growler." "You're the only one that gives me any satisfaction." "Could you close your window?" "I've got a cramp in my neck." "Are you turning on the air conditioner?" "I've got bronchitis." "Yeah, so you're smoking." "Can I at least turn on the radio?" "No, the radio gives me a headache." "We should have brought you an iron lung." "Stop the car, I need to take a piss." " You have to go every two minutes." " Do you want me to piss in the car?" "Come on, Growler." "Oh, you're so lazy." " Tie him up." "He can guard the car." " He can't come?" "Come on." "Come here, Growler." "Stay here like a good dog." "You have to guard the million dollar leg." "Understand?" "An original Garpetz, without toenails." "What a smart creature!" "Some lukewarm milk with a shot of coffee, no foam, not cold." "Let's see if you can do that." " Where's Giacomo?" " In the book department, of course." "Look, there he is." " Does he read a lot?" " Not at all." "He buys hundreds and never reads them." "Look, now he's got his hands behind his back." "He's going to the bestellers." "It's cold." "Watch this." "He thinks that's too commercial." "He gives it a disapproving look." "Now he's looking for a book no one knows about." "You see?" "A thick paperback by a writer who committed suicide." " Now he's skimming it." " What else do you do with a book?" "Look!" "Here comes a woman." "He shows he's a connoisseur and gives her a review." " He hasn't even read it." " Man, he's showing off." " And now?" " Watch this..." "Excuse me, you dropped your magazine." "Is this in your Repubblica?" "You're such a bastard!" "It was just a joke." "Better take this with you anyway." "She was a nice girl." " You and your jokes." " Does it really matter?" "Look at them." "I'm better than you are." "What did you think of that?" "I'm the man!" "I tell you, I'm on a whole different level!" "Race you to the car." "Jump in the river." "You are such a dick, trying to show up little kids." "Listen to this guy." "Getting married soon and still flirting." "That trick with the book is so old." "Giacomo's getting married." "Soon he'll say, "I do."" "Go do that to Growler." "Growler!" "I'm not looking." "I don't want to see it." "He was the most beautiful dog in the world." "Even better than Rin Tin Tin." "That's life." " You're a murderer." " You're the one who tied him up." "But you dragged him to his death." "What's done is done." "Stop fighting." "But who's going to tell the old man?" " He's going to do something bad to us." " He'll fire us." "Scaredy cats." "What are you afraid of?" "You can explain it was an accident." "It's not like we did it on purpose..." "Hello?" "Have you guys heard?" "He's dead." "It wasn't my fault." "Giovanni was just..." "Don't you get it?" "Garpetz, the sculptor is dead." "Oh, we're sorry." "That's too bad." "Not at all." "It's my biggest score of the year." "I've done it again!" "But you... you can't do anything." "All you can do is marry my daughters." "Give me Growler for a moment." "At least he understands me." "Growler?" "Hello, Growler?" "Why don't you answer?" "What's wrong with him?" "I can barely hear him." "There's nothing wrong." "It's interference on the line." "Hello?" "Hello?" "They can't even use a telephone." "What crappy music, Giovanni." "Don't you have something else?" "You don't like this?" " Then play something else." " Anything else..." "Oh, please." "Do me a favor." "I can't take this." "Too many memories." "I can't take it." "A different genre." " Did you hear that?" " What?" " A sound... a metallic sound." " I don't hear anything." "But I've had an ear infection." " You don't hear a metallic sound?" " No." "At the next exit I want a mechanic to take a look at the car." "We're much too late now and you want to stop for a little sound?" "That's what the Captain of the Titanic said..." ""Oh, that sound is nothing."" "The captain talked like that?" "A great idea you had." "Where in God's name are we?" " Is it my fault there aren't any signs?" " Pull over to the curb here." "You and your little sound." "You're hearing voices." "I'm hearing voices." "Ow, my nose." "My nose is bleeding." "Who are you, driving like such an idiot?" "It's my fault." "It's my fault." "It's my fault." ""It's my fault?" Look what you've done to our car!" "Don't be so dramatic, Giovanni." "It's a tragedy, you dunce!" "We're three hours late, and now this." " I'm sorry, I was looking at the map." " She was looking at the map." "So it's okay to kill people with your car because of a map." " Are you hurt?" " Yes, of course I'm hurt!" "With a big nose like that, it's easy to hit it." " You stopped so suddenly." " I was only going twenty kilometres an hour." " But still..." " You were sleeping." " Sometimes that's when you're most alert." " What kind of shit is that?" " Never mind." " Well, let's move these cars." " Look at that." " Ah, that's nothing." "It can be fixed." "What should I do now?" "The slut." "I was as good as standing still." "Giacomo let's himself..." "He's such a..." " The slut." "That one's a whore." " Just stop..." "Don't say anything." "Don't say a thing!" "Now what do we do?" "Could we make up for the trouble by inviting you to lunch?" "Thank you!" "Why is that?" "She damaged my car." " Nice girl, eh?" " I'm sure she is." "And she also has a certain radiance." "I'm sure she has, but you're getting married in three days." " Why, what'd I say?" " You keep looking at her." " Am I reacting that much?" " Sort of, yeah." " Unless I'm gravely mistaken." " No, no, you're right." "Everything okay?" " Yes, I've arranged to catch the ferry." " To where?" "Brindisi to Patras and then the Greek islands." "Are you meeting... your boyfriend there?" "A painful subject?" "You just broke up?" "He left you!" " For your best friend." " Stop it, Giovanni." "What?" "I was just trying to break the ice." "I'm sorry." " Are you musicians?" " How... ?" " That's not a saxophone?" " No, it's something else." "It's an art object." "A sculpture." " Can I see it?" " We can't do that." "Come on, show it to her." " No..." "Yes, I'm afraid so..." " This is impossible!" "Is it the real thing?" " The leg?" " This is a Garpetz." " How did you know?" "Anyone can tell it's a Garpetz." "And it cost a lot, too." "A nice leg." "My work has to do with art." "I restore pieces." "I've always wanted to do that for a living." "You can't even put together the puzzle of the week." " I only got it just now." " What a joke." "And you?" "What do you do for a living?" "We work in precision mechanics... ..advanced technology, servicing special projects." " I don't know... hardware." " Hardware." "We provide parts that support great undertakings." "Precision instruments for a future revolution in mechanics." "Was that clear?" "We have a hardware store." "It's not really our hardware store." "We work there as salesmen." "As errand boys really." "Don't be so pessimistic." "A swallow doesn't just fly in the Spring." "Good!" "How philosophical." "It reminds me of Plato." "Forget about Plato." "He left you." "The symposium of Plato:" "The Myth of the Halves." "Do you know it?" "Yes, I used to know it very well." " I read part of it." " I see..." "So, according to Plato, man was like this apple." "Perfect." "He had enough with just himself." "There wasn't the difference of man and woman." "There were only perfect, happy individuals." "But one day, Zeus, who was jealous of their perfection..." "And since then man has desperately sought his other half because without it he felt incomplete... miserable." "But no matter how hard he tried he never found his perfect half." "And he still hasn't." "Because it's practically impossible to do so." "It would be a miracle." "GONE TO THE CINEMA Does this guy ever work?" "We have to get going." "We'll pretend nothing happened." "Goodbye." " Do we have to return the car like this?" " The insurance will take care of it." "You're such a bastard." "Do you want to leave her here like this?" "Did you want to go to the cinema?" "You should be kept on a leash." "How will you find the mechanic in here?" "A needle in a haystack." "We have a problem..." " An accident..." " I'm watching the movie." "If I could just ask you..." "The mechanic doesn't feel like it." " This is a Garpelli." " Who?" "A neorealist filmmaker." " It's thirty years old." " I'm sure." " Please... we shouldn't miss this." " You think so?" "Excuse me." " Giacomo?" " It's a Garpelli." "We have to watch it." "But the time..." " Aldo?" " I'll get some popcorn." "Tickets, please." "Tickets." "Can I have your ticket?" "Excuse me!" "Do you have a ticket?" " Maybe I lost it." " Then you'll get a fine." "You're jumping to a conclusion." "You just said maybe you lost it." "Unless I find it first." "Stop joking around." "Just look for the ticket." " Cigarette?" " No, thanks." " I'm not trying to bribe you." " You wouldn't be able to with a cigarette." "How about a pack?" "Stop joking around and give me your ticket." " What's wrong?" " He doesn't have a ticket." " Then give him a fine." " Don't you worry." " A big one." " I'll take care of that." "Those glasses look really good on you." " My glasses?" " Really good." "Thank you." "Could this be it?" " Did that have to take twenty minutes?" " Do you have a party to go to?" "This ticket has been stamped twice." " It has multiple stamps." " Well, it was more expensive." "What nonsense." "I'm going to have to give you a fine." " Your colleague did this." " I'm not stupid." "My colleague didn't do that!" " It's your own fault if you're stupid." " That's a good ticket." "You didn't use it properly." " Then you're an imbecile." " That's enough." "There were witnesses, but they won't do anything" " Come along, you have to get off." " Keep your hands off me." "Just let him go." "What does it matter?" "What an annoying asshole that guy is." "Are we supposed to tolerate that and ignore the rules?" " But he's overreacting." " I understand..." "I'm not going to run away." " You took a big step." " My one leg is longer." " Give me your personal information." " I'm not doing well." "Stop with those jokes." "I want your last name and first name." " Okay, what's your name?" " I'm waiting." " For what?" " For you to write it down." "I wasn't ready." "What's your name?" "Ajeje." " Ajeje?" " Yes." "What's this Ajeje?" "How do you spell Ajeje?" " A" " A" " j... pronounced longer." " Longer." "...e, j, e." "That's it." " Ajeje..." " It's hard enough." "Please, do me a favor." "And what would your last name be?" "Ajeje Brazorf." "The old guy is quite a good actor." "Much better than the other two." "They're not professional actors." "They're people off the street." "Let's see what you have here." " Why is there no passport in here?" " How is that possible?" " Keep your hands to yourself." "What is this?" " Then it was stolen." "Goddamn, they stole it." " And they left the credit cards?" " That's how clever they've gotten." " Come with me to the police station." " Keep your hands off me!" "What have you got against me?" "Do I look like someone who used to beat you up?" "I haven't done anything to you!" "You've wanted to hit me all this time!" " Watch what you're doing." " What an actor." "They pushed me onto the tram." "What nonsense." "Stop acting so dramatically." "I can feel it in my stomach." "I'm really feeling bad." "Yeah." "It really gets to you, this neorealism." "No, I think it's the mussels." " He's not feeling well." " Right before the ending." " Excuse me, may I have your ticket?" " I'm a colleague." " Your ticket, please." " l'm a conductor, too." " Yes, and I'm Gary Cooper." "Be calm, you're in good hands." "Here's the doctor." " What's your first and last name?" " Giacomo Poretti." " Did I ask you anything?" " He's my brother-in-law." "Am I supposed to fill in the data from just anyone?" " I know him well." " Is this your brother-in-law?" " So what's his name?" " Ask him." "Giacomo Poretti." "Please, we're in a hurry." "Giacomo Poretti." "Let's see..." "Does this hurt?" "Are you sure?" " And If I press here?" " No... that's okay." "Doctor, why don't you give him a sedative for instance 4 cc placebo..." "I didn't realize you were a doctor, where did you go to medical school?" "Do me a favor, sit down over there and shut your mouth." "And don't interrupt me while I'm working." "Nurse, prepare a sedative." "Let me think 4 cc placebo." "Stick out your tongue." "I think he has a kidney infection." "What did I tell you the first time?" "You have to keep your mouth shut and sit over there." " Yes, but..." " You're only a visitor." "Understand?" "Yes, but if I press here..." "It hurts." "It's not tracheitis." "He's made a diagnosis." "He's become a professional." "Do you want me to take off my doctor's coat and give it to you?" "Is that what you want?" "Keep your mouth shut." "I don't want to hear another word." "Shut up." " Dear signore..." " Giacomo Poretti." "Dear Mister Poretti you seem to have quite a kidney infection." "We're going to examine you." "You'll have to stay the night, as a precaution." " We're already much too late." " We need to take the word of a professional." "The doctor's had a lot of education." "He's not making this up." "He knows what he's saying." " How are you?" " Not good." " The placebo isn't working?" " I don't think so." "It still hurts." "You shouldn't eat so much junk." "And the cellphone doesn't work in here." " Do you want me to remove your socks?" " Please." "The car's gone." "She stole the car!" "That friend of yours with her myth and her half apple." "She took the car and the leg, and I even gave her the key!" "I brought the leg." "And I parked the car in the shade." " Is this your bag, Giacomo?" " Yes." " Where are your pajamas?" " I don't have any pajamas." "No pajamas?" " I sleep in the nude." " He sleeps in the nude?" "With bronchitis?" "Calm down." "It's okay." "I'll just lend him mine." "Why does that shirt say "Sforza"?" "[Francesco Sforza" " Milan football star]" "They ran out of the ones that said "Ronaldo"." "[Cristiano Ronaldo" " Milan football star]" "No, don't worry." "No, he's sleeping." "Excuse me, you say he can't talk?" "What's he got?" "It's nothing serious." "Let me talk to Marta." "Give me that!" "Give me the phone." "You deadbeats!" "Where are you?" " I don't care if he has the plague or lepro..." "Dearest..." "Shut up and stay out of this!" "I'm talking." "This is a place where everyone knows me." "Only the best people come here, understand?" "The priest must think I'm an idiot." " I'm very sorry, understand?" " I don't want to hear that shit." "Now give me my wife." "I want to talk to my wife." "When I lose my patience, I get really mad." "I'll throw you back into the gutter you came from." "Understand?" "What are you looking at?" "Go back to your dinner." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Twenty million could get you a bar in Costa Rica by the beach." "Sun, sea and palm trees." " All year in a bathing suit?" " All year in a bathing suit." "No one bothering you or ordering you around." "But it's a big decision." "You'd have to leave everything behind." " And what if it's not as good as you expected." " It is a risk." "But if you don't take risks..." "Have you ever taken a risk?" "Once." "I put money on Inter-Cagliari once." " Are you sure you can take me there?" " It's not out of our way at all." "We can't just leave you with a broken down car." " But it wasn't a bad idea, either." " Stop it." "You don't believe that yourself." "Well then." "It's nine thirty." "We have to be in Brindisi by one thirty." "I am Count Dracula..." "Fucking cunt..." " Ah, Giusi." "Do you want something to eat?" " No, I'm tired." "I'm going to bed." " Good night." " She's a hard worker." " Let's sing." " Set the tone." "The beautiful woman goes to the spring and brings beets and spinach to the Southerner." "[terrone - derogatory term for Southern Italians]" "SOUTHERNERS STAY AWAY FROM TRANSYLVANIA" "What a day, two Transylvanians." "I am a force of nature!" "Fuck, that hurts..." "I'm not sure this was a good idea." "Should we have brought him in?" " Still... with all the bad people out there..." " Look at those sunken cheekbones." " Yes, and did you see that forehead?" " And those big eyes." " Look at that weak chin." " And those teeth!" "What about those teeth?" " I'll tell you something..." " Don't say it." "What we have here, is a Southerner." " A Southerner?" " As sure as gold." "He's waking up." "Everything alright, my good man?" "What happened?" "In addition to..." " Would you like a cognac?" " I'd like some zibibbo [muscatel]." " Although I'd rather have you." " What a strange dialect." "Zibibbo, do we have any of that here?" "We should introduce ourselves." "I'm Michele, his name is Gino." "And you?" "Brambilla." "And your full name?" "Brambilla Fumagalli." "We don't know the Fumagalli's." "Tell us where you were born." "I'm from the state of Parage. [Equality]" " Parage!" " What do you know about Parage?" " It's worse than here." " And a bit more to the south." "Gosh..." "That was some blow." "Ai madonna, what a blow." " He's not very convincing." " I agree." " Let's trick him with the cadrega." " Bravo!" "Genius!" " You go get a cadrega." " You're smart as a weasel." "Master Brambilla, please join us at the table." "We have a nice cadrega." " You can't keep a cadrega from a person." " It's for Mr. Fumagalli." "Come on." " A nice little cadrega?" " Ah, yes..." " Please..." " Fumagalli, eh?" "The cadrega..." "This is a nice cadrega." "A apple is not a cadrega." " A cadrega is a chair." " My good sir." "I was just about to say what fine construction this cadrega has." "It really has." "When I get back home I hope to sit my butt down on such a beautful cadrega." "I have to go to the toilet." "Where is the toilet?" " I have to go to the toilet." " Toilet?" "I've took such a blow..." "The loo?" "Up the stairs and to the left." "Sorry, but I need to leave for a moment." "I have to pee like a pipistrello [bat]." "I'll be right back." "Gino, you were absolutely right." " That guy is a Southerner." " Bravo!" "What's this?" "A rolled up paper?" " The Southerner dropped it." " Open it." "To Dracula, with love, Totò Schillaci." "[Schillaci" " Italian football hero from Palermo]" "Dracula?" "Schillaci?" " Who is this Schillaci?" " The Grand Vizier of the Southerners!" "Against great evil, we'll need to use great weapons." "We'll fill that empty space tonight." " Come on!" " My Mage..." " He's in the next room." " With Giusi!" " Southerner!" " The Mage!" "Fuck!" "How scary." "If I had a number sixteen wrench I'd have it fixed by now." "Is it my fault no one passes by?" ""I know a short-cut without any traffic."" "And now we've landed in Nebraska." "The little prince has awakened." "Help out here." "We need to talk." " What's wrong with him?" " Fuck off." " What's going on?" " Where are you going?" "He sure is moody lately." " Hey!" " Aldo!" " He's sick in the head..." " I don't understand it..." "Aldo!" "You and me!" "You're wonderful!" " How did you do that?" " It was child's play." " She has a number sixteen wrench." " Well, at least she fixed it." "Hey, guys!" " What's he got?" " Guys!" "Guys!" "Look what I found." "A new Growler." " But he's black." " You're such a racist." " With bat ears." " He's a good dog." "And cute." "With cute little paws..." "Give your paw to the nice lady." "Hey, guys!" "You want to go swimming here?" "No." "It's all well and good that I let you drive the car, but we're already late." "There's no time for fooling around." "Well okay." "Just five minutes." "Gold medalists in synchronized swimming." " Aren't you a little cold?" " No, are you?" " I am, a little." " Race you there." " "I'm a little cold." - "Race you there."" " I beat you." " I know." "I know." " So, tomorrow you're getting married?" " Not necessarily." "That was a good one, five hops." "Now I have to get two more." " Two!" " Two more was a miracle." "You're such a good swimmer." "Thank you." "You too, especially the breaststroke." "At school they used to call me the frog." "Watch." "I'll throw this one, and you have to hit it." "Sometimes... a frog can turn into a prince." "What are you trying to do?" "Bastards!" " You really are a couple of bastards." " I'm sorry, Chiara for both of us." "I didn't do it on purpose." " By the way, it was his rock." " I'm sorry." "It isn't serious." "And it wasn't on purpose." "It's not a problem." "But that might be a problem." "Look at that." "He's peeing on the leg." "The stupid animal." " It's porous!" " Piss is just ammonia." " That's not soap." " Shampoo has ammonia." "Just look it's done to you." "I'll go wash it." " I should give you a kick." " Come on, Growler." "300 milion ruined." "Pack up your things." "We're late as it is." "Hello?" "Get in the car!" "What do we do now, Aldo?" " If only we had an air mattress." " I have an idea." "Don't be an idiot." " I thought it would float." " It weighs at least thirty kilos." "Excuse me." " Where does the river end?" " Why do you want to find the river's end?" "It enters the sea five kilometres down from here." " Into the sea?" "Yes, into the sea." "Into the sea..." "You've really messed things up, Giovanni." " His dog pisses on it and it's my fault." " Stop, stop, stop." "Look over there." "I'll go." "It's settled, guys." "We're playing a football game." "Italy-Morocco, to ten goals." "You're demented." " Did you see the Marrakesh Express?" " Yeah, this reminds me of that." "Did you see that?" "The return of the great Inter [Milan]." "Did you see how athletically I made that corner kick?" "They were totally stunned." "Yeah, and when Chiara stopped that shot bouncing the ball right off her chest." "Fantastic!" "Yeah, really fantastic." "But we still lost ten-three." "If we'd played for sunscreen, we'd have lost." "Morocco was too strong." "Too physical." "And they had such a quick counter-attack." "He's getting married and we're centuries late." "The back of the car is completely destroyed." "The bulldog has been replaced by a bat." "And the 300 million leg is in the hands of some Moroccan masons." "How do you like that?" "I have an idea." "Cheer up." "No, I don't want to." "Do you hear the rumbling of your stomach?" "This is a terrible thing to do." "Why did I get the Karl Popper mask?" "[Austrian philospher, 1902-1994]" "It's not Karl Popper, it's Cossiga." "[Italian DC politician, 1928-2010]" "Why Cossiga?" "I really hate Cossiga!" "Stop it!" "Do you want to get the leg back, or not?" "Okay, let's go..." "You have to be good, understand?" "You have to stay here." "We don't have a mask of Rin Tin Tin." "Don't be such a bother." "Do you want coffee?" "Relax." "Nothing happened." "Permission to leave?" "Everything is in its place." "The four of them, comma armed and masked, comma entered..." "What does it say?" "The four of them, armed and masked, entered entered the house of engineer Amin Kaleb Assad and architect Salem Mohamed Sadat to steal a wooden object of questionable taste." " Period?" " Period, and so on, and so on..." "So, you steal sculptures, eh?" "Sure, look down." "Baglio, breaking and entering is the worst form of indignity." " What will it be?" " What you want it to be, sir." "Are we getting funny, Baglio?" "I'll soon make sure you have nothing to laugh about." "Excuse me, but the leg is ours." "Not mine personally, but..." "Giacomino Poretti, born in Busto Garolfo should not interfere." " His name is Giacomo." " You're going to be their lawyer?" "Your name is Giacomo, right?" "Giacomino." "This is serious." "What do you think, Engineer?" "Do you want to press charges?" "Never mind, I feel sorry for these poor losers." "All this for a leg my handyman could do better for 30.000." " What do you say to the Engineer?" " "Thank you."" " Why hasn't the old man called?" " The phone's turned off." "They haven' t heard from us in 24 hours." " Okay... do you want to call?" " Why me?" "Giacomo is sleeping, I'm driving." "I'm not afraid." "Hello!" "Hello... yes, is this..." "Yes, sir..." "The plan..." "If it had been up to me..." "Yes, I was the first to..." "Let me finish for once, you just keep on talking." "You're ruining my life." "I'm only human." "I've been wanting to say this:" "Go fuck yourself!" "." "Fuck you with your fucking store and your fucking villa." "You fucking asshole." " The line was busy." " It had to be something like that." "MARIANO AND THE INNER BEAUTIES" "The boys will be here in two hours." "They've been saying that for two days." "What could they be up to?" "Something must have happened." " I'm so worried." " She doesn't look worried." "I have an invoice for you, ma'am." "I don't know how that works." "You should see my husband." "But I don't see him." "Eros?" "I have to say something." "I'm not getting married." "Why not?" "I'm in love." "I can see that." " What do you see?" " Many things." "The way you look at her." "How you seperate from the rest..." " You're distracted." " Me, distracted?" " Yes, you lost the leg." " That wasn't me, it was you." "No, it was him." "Love." "Can I interest you in a Sony recorder?" " For his wife, maybe?" " He's not getting married." "Sunglasses?" " You know, I'm jealous.." " Really?" "Alright, what in God's name is going on?" " Things go the way they go." " You're going to give up everything for that slut?" " She's not a slut." "I have to think about it." " You're not a kid anymore, Giacomo." "Tell him." " He's getting swept up by his feelings." " You know what?" " I'm going to tell her." " What's he going to tell her?" " I have to tell you something." " Not you, too?" "Do you see those people over there?" "They're taking the same ferry I am." "They said I can ride with them." "It's the best thing for everyone." "Yes, that's true." " I'll get my suitcase." " I'll help you." "Come on, Giacomo." "Do you have a cigarette?" "Thank you." "Excuse me, could you stop?" "I have to throw up." "He can't go home like this." "And he certainly can't get married." "He doesn't have to get married if he doesn't want to." "He's just confused." "He wants to, but he's not sure." " But he's throwing everything away." " Such as?" " His job." " Yeah, nice job..." " His family." " His family?" "With that father-in-law..." "His economic security." "What's the matter, Growler?" "Where's Giacomino?" "Did he finish himself?" "He made his decision." "It's a gesture of insanity!" "That's nonsense." "We just can't see him." "I can see it now." ""Love gives and love takes."" "So, are you going to take forever?" "Hurry up." "God have mercy..." "The rock is friambile!" "You mean the rock is friable, not frenabile." "Isn't frada about the same as frijia?" "Perhaps you should be thankful the hill isn't wet." "I'm just thankful I have little feet." " Now what?" " Now I'm afraid to move in either direction." "I'm not going to move." "Put your foot on that projection." "The projection shaped like a gnu's hoof." " I don't see any gnu's hoof." " Put the other one in that notch." " Which one?" " Like the spine of the skunk." " What does a skunk look like?" " You don't see it's spine?" "There..." "I've found a hole." "It could be the skunk's ass." "Just a moment." "Just a moment." "I'm about to fall to my death." "Fucking hill!" " There he is." " Giacomino!" " Giacomo." " Giacomino." "Please, leave me alone." "Stop bothering me." "Go away!" "Did you fall?" "Are you hurt?" " How did you get down?" " I scaled the mountain." "Why didn't you take the path?" " There's a path?" " How was I to know there was a path?" " I could have died at any moment!" " The path isn't very safe either." "What if you slipped, or got a roof tile on your head?" "A tile?" "Here?" "In the middle of the nowhere?" "Come on, Giacomo." "It's late, let's go." "Hello?" "Ciao, Giuliana." "Yes, we're on our way." "Giacomo?" "No, he can't... because he went to the toilet." "I'll let you talk to Aldo." "Hello?" "Giuliana, how nice." "We're on our way." "Yes, soon." "No, Giacomino's sleeping." "Yes, he's sleeping on the toilet." "He must've fallen asleep while he was taking a shit." "He went to the shore?" "Yes... but he's..." "Go fuck yourself!" "GALLIPOLI 12 KILOMETERS" "GALLIPOLI 6 KILOMETERS" "Are you sure, Giovanni?" "It's the best thing for all of us." "Adapted from English subs translated by Linforcer." "Original Dutch subs by Hoek  SonépouseToonder Group."