"Hello, Brandy." "Are they here?" "_" "I've been so looking forward to this." " Me, too!" " So... the boys aren't here yet?" "Oh, boy, nothing gets by you." "We won't be needing this anymore." "Wait!" "What do you use to sop up sauce with?" "I don't eat sauce." "I'd like a vodka martini, straight up." "Very dry, please." "And two olives on the side." "Thank you." "You do know that vodka is made from potatoes." "Alcohol has its own rules." "So..." "So..." "What do you think is so important that we had to have dinner tonight?" "I'm getting something." "I have a very strong sense that this is the night they announce their retirement." "I've been wondering the same thing." "Of course, I'm not psychic." "Oh, honey, you don't know that." "No." "I do." "Because no one is." " Well, I hope they do." " Me, too." " Hello." " Oh, hi." "Hi, sweetheart." "No appetizers, no dessert." "How are you?" " Hello, Grace." " Hello, Sol." "These mussels are delicious." "And the crab." "So fresh." "And they give you three sauces!" "Look at this oyster!" "Do you think they realize they live in their own spoon?" "We've only had this seafood platter 700 times." " Sol's a little anxious tonight." " Something happen at the office?" "Actually, we do want to talk to you two about something." " Right, Sol?" " Okay." "Well, um..." "As you know, we're getting better with age." "And this can be a very exciting chapter we're about to open." "In the book of life." "It feels alive with possibility." "And change." "And Frankie herself says change is always good." "Especially when starting this new chapter of our lives." "This new chapter of our lives is gonna be over if you don't get to the point." " I'll do it." " No." " It's okay." " Robert..." "Please, Sol." "What Sol is trying to say is..." "I'm leaving you." "And he's leaving you..." "For this..." "next chapter of our lives." " You're leaving me?" " Yes." " Who is she?" " Oh, it's not what you think." " It's a he." " Excuse me?" "And it's Sol." "I'm in love with Sol." "Sol and I are in love." " My Sol?" " Your Sol." "You mean you're gay?" "And this is who you're gay with?" " This is who I'm in love with." " Oh, my God." "No." "This makes no sense." "You're business partners, you're not lovers... friends." "How long has this been going on?" "Well, it's been..." " I don't know exactly." " Twenty years." "Think there was a better time to tell us this?" "Like, say, any time over the last two decades?" "I'm gonna throw up." " I'm so sorry." " Why now?" " We want to get married." " Married?" "!" " 'Cause we can do that now." " I know!" "I hosted that fundraiser!" "Oh, my God." "This is why you brought us here!" "You didn't want me to make a scene, did you, Robert?" "You thought this place would protect you." "You spineless... chickensh--!" " Don't do that!" " Sorry." "Are people looking?" " You want a scene?" "I'll give you a scene!" " No." " Actually, I didn't want a scene." " You son of a bitch!" " I can't believe this is happening." " Breathe." "Breathe." "In two, three..." "Take your fucking hand off my sternum!" "Please!" "Grace." "I, um..." "Of course." "I'm sorry, Frankie." "I... didn't know how to handle it." "Well, good job picking the worst way imaginable." "Some things there's no good way to do." "How do I tell the woman I've loved for 40 years that I can't be with her" " if I want to be happy." " You don't." "Ride out the clock." "Stay miserable." "I've got news for you." "The next chapter is not that long." " Wait, is that why you got the Cialis?" " Everyone gets Cialis at my age." "You probably should sleep in the den." "Grace?" "Can I talk to you for a second, please?" "I don't know." "Not talking is your forte." "Well, I'm talking now, and I'm sorry." "I just never thought you'd be this upset." "What did you think I'd be?" "I honestly thought you'd be relieved." "Relieved?" "Really?" "!" "I think relief is what you're feeling." "I'm feeling like the last 40 years have been a fraud." "Now, come on." "Only the last 20 years were a fraud." "That's a joke." "Uh-uh." "No." "You don't get to do that." "You don't get to pretend that this is nothing." "No." "You're right." "It is not nothing." "And I should have told you a long time ago." "But let's be honest." "Were you ever really happy with me?" "I was happy enough." "So we didn't have the romance of the century." "But I thought we were normal." "I thought we were like everybody else." "I thought this was life." "And I thought there was more." "Hm." "It would have been easier if you'd died." "I can't remember the last time I've slept without you." "I know I've done it but I..." "I can't remember." "Come here." "I hate that I hurt you." "I really do love you." "I mean, you've always loved me for..." "Who you are." "Ironic, isn't it?" " Hey, boys." " Hey, Dad." "Mom." " We need to talk." " Oh, my God." "Is this another intervention?" "Dad, I'm 90 days clean, I swear." "I took an Advil PM last night, but I took that as directed." "This is not an intervention." "But you may want to make sure your sponsor is available, 'cause this will kick you in the balls." "Grace, I'm going to cancel the kids." "No." "They'll know something's up." "I'm not ready to talk to them yet about this." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Try to be straight for one more brunch." "You're gay?" "Uncle Robert's gay?" "I mean, you've always had a big personality, but I..." "I never thought..." "You and Uncle Robert?" "I don't see it." "Oh, God, now I see it." "Mom, I can't stop seeing it." "I'm sorry." "Why don't we have a therapist here?" " There was one here when the dog died." " Oh, wait." "There's more." "Tell them." " Haven't we had enough news for one day?" " They're getting married." "'Cause they want to make the most of their remaining years." "But that's okay, I mean," "I've always dreamed that I would spend my remaining years alone." "Hummus?" "What the fuck..." " Hi, girls..." " ...is going on?" " Where are Mitch and the kids?" " Dad, you're gay?" "Bud called." "When were you planning on telling us?" "I just wanted one last normal brunch." "Is someone gonna start explaining what's going on?" "Ask your father." "Dad?" "Well, girls..." "It..." "It..." "It kind of is what it is." " Great talk, Dad." " Please, sit down." "I mean, if I found out you were being indicted, I would've said sure." "But this?" "Oh, my God." "What am I gonna tell my kids?" "Why don't you start with, "Do you know where poop comes from?"" "How am I in trouble right now?" "Sorry, Dad." "Look, I'm sorry you had to find out this way and I know it's a shock," " but... honestly, it was killing me." " Oh, Mom..." "This is why I didn't want to talk about it yet." "I didn't want to fall apart in front of you." "It's okay, Mom." "It's a fall apart kind of a thing." "Daddy, we'll come talk to you in a little bit." "Okay?" " Please?" " Oh!" "Mom, we're gonna get you through this." "Okay?" "We're gonna find you people to talk to." "People who understand exactly what you're going through." "There's a group for wives of husbands who've turned gay in their seventies?" "Mom, we'll go to Palm Springs for the weekend." "Oh, there is definitely a group there, Mom." "We'll..." "We could play tennis and we'll go to the movies and..." "I can't..." "I can't plan." "I'm just trying to keep my coffee down." "Mom, what can we do for you?" "Nothing, nothing." "How about a Valium?" "Okay." "If anyone can deal with this, Mom, it is you." "You're always talking about a door closing or a window closing or opening, something... the point is... you would say..." "The journey starts in the unknown." "And there are butterflies that come from cocoons..." "That's just shit you say." "Mom, three months ago his life was a total mess." "No shit." "What professor scores coke off a student?" "And not even the one he was sleeping with." "Right." "I was as low as you could get." " But look at me now." " Yes, look at him." "Goddammit, he's a substitute teacher." "But I'm okay." "Because of you." "Coyote." "Nwabudike." "I have got to get out of here." " Holy shit." " What the fuck, dude?" "Thank you so very much, Ma'am." "And you have yourself a great day now." "Fuck you." "Wow." "Your chair arrived." "Oh, my God, they said it was going to take six weeks." "It took two days." "When does that happen?" "It's a joke." "Between me and Sol." "A private joke." "Now you get a sense of humor?" "When did you get this piece?" "About a year ago." "I gotta get out of this house." " Why don't I go?" " No." "I've never really liked this house." "I'm gonna go to the beach." "I have a question." "When people ask me why we got that house with Sol and Frankie," "I tell them what you told me." "That it was a business decision, right?" "A once in a lifetime opportunity we could only afford together." "That's not why, is it?" "Yeah." "If anybody is gonna sit on Ryan Gosling's face, it's gonna be me!" "Excuse me." "Have you ever wondered if Ben and Jerry make more than ice cream together?" "What?" "Ben and Jerry." "Are they more than ice cream buddies?" "How the hell would I know?" "Oh, bitch!" "Excuse me." "Is that you?" "It used to be." "Oh!" "Well, hello there, you!" "Grace?" "It's me, Daphne!" " Hi, Daphne!" "Gotta run." " Grace!" "Give me one of those bottles, things..." "The big one." "Give me a big one." "That's good." "Listen, sir." "What brand would you smoke if your husband turned out to be gay?" " Newports." " For the last 20 years." " Luckies." " I'll take those." "Sol never let me smoke." "Imagine him... judging what I put into my..." "I'm telling you, and the whole time..." "you know, they were doing blowjobs." "I hear ya." "I mean, I'm assuming." "Oh, God..." "Oh, shit!" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." "Okay." "In a little while, I will drink this tea, which I've made from the peyote cactus." "The peyote will propel me on a vision quest to find insight, tranquility and acceptance." "A vision quest I had hoped to take with my soon-to-be ex-husband." "But now I walk this path alone." "I know not where this road leads, but I know that I will return... changed." "Because of this impending transformation," "I've called my loved ones to tell them goodbye." "But no one was home, hence, this recording." "Apparently, the tea can be very bitter." "But the Indians believed that if your heart is pure, the bitterness will not be tasted." "Oh." "Holy shit, that's bad!" "Oh!" "My God." "Apparently, I have some purification still to do." "I will do it off camera." "This is the old Frankie saying goodbye to everyone." "How the hell do you turn this thing off?" "Hm." "What are you doing?" " What are you doing?" " No, what are you doing here?" " You mean in my house?" " This is my house, too." "Look, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but when Robert told me we were going in on this place together," "I made him promise we would never have to be here at the same time." "Oh, really?" "Because I had Sol actually write that into the contract." " No, you didn't." " No, I didn't." "But you hurt my feelings so I lashed out." "Please, please go somewhere else." "I need to be here." "People know me." " I can't deal with anybody right now." " Well, I can't either." "Oh, sure you can." "People expect this kind of thing from you." "Oh, because I'm a tolerant person I deserve to have my life blown apart?" "I didn't say "deserve." I'm just saying... it's harder for me." "You have no idea what I'm going through." "I lost my best friend." "You don't even like Robert." "You have no right to judge me." "You don't know us." "I'm sorry, I was judging by my experience of you, not the real you." "That was wrong of me." "Thank you." "Now please just go." "You know what?" "This is not the energy I wanted to start my vision quest with." "So I am gonna go." "But I will be back tomorrow." "And, of course, I will be a different person." "Hopefully, the new me will like you better." "Goodbye." "To you and all I've ever known." "There's ice cream in the fridge." " Hello." " Hello..." "So I get to the beach and who do I find doing her yoga noises?" " I'm guessing Frankie." " They didn't have turkey." "What was that?" "Is that Sol?" "No, no." "I'm having a bite in a noisy place." "So, what's up, Grace?" "I want this house, Robert." "You owe me this." "Consider it your gift to me." "You know, the gift that says, "I've been bonking my law partner for 20 years."" "Sorry." "See, I thought the one upside to this whole mess was that I'd never have to spend another moment with this woman." "I want this house!" "Okay." "I'm not exactly sure what you want me to do about it right now, Grace." "I want you to be sure this house is mine, because that's what I'm telling Frankie when she gets back from her vision test." " Stop." " What?" " I know you." "You're feeling guilty." " Yes!" "I'm feeling extremely guilty." "I devastated someone I love very much." "And you know what makes it even worse?" "What?" "I'm so fucking happy!" " Don't you feel... even a little guilty?" " No." "I'm done feeling guilty about who I am." "I'm getting there." "Eat your greens." "I drank." "I vomited." "It's not kicking in." "It's not kicking in." "Hola!" "Señor!" "Mescalito!" "Hello!" "Oh!" "Ah!" "Oh, fuck!" "Goddamn it!" "Motherfucker!" "God..." "Oh!" "My back!" " Hello." " Don't hang up!" " What do you want?" " My Skeflaxin." "That's not a word." "No, it's medicine." "My back's in spasm." "I can't move." "It's totally harshing my buzz." "Where are they?" "In the meditation room in the pill basket next to my shrine." "Okay." "I'll be right with you." "I will!" "Motherfucker!" " Okay, where are you?" " I'm in the desert." "But there is water here." " You mean the beach?" " Am I?" "I love the beach." "You could just live here." " Thank you." " What are those?" " Muscle relaxers." " Nice." "Okay." "That is the worst iced tea ever." "What is in there?" "Ass?" "Peyote." " Peyo-tea." " What?" "I just took muscle relaxers with peyote?" " And you're welcome." " What do I do?" "You should probably brace yourself for some light vomiting followed by life-altering hallucinations." "Just let it all out." "This is why I hate being around you!" "You're reckless!" "You leave drugs around, and your hippy-dippy attitude and that "everybody should follow their heart" crap and "everybody'll be just fine!"" "Well, everybody's not fine!" "Am I supposed to be able to smell color?" " It's your journey." " Oh, shut up." "My journey..." "And you wonder why your husband looked elsewhere" "Now you're gonna blame me?" "Why don't you take responsibility for your own life?" "I am not responsible..." "Stop dancing." "I didn't realize I was." "I did everything right, Lord." "I stood by him for over 40 years." "I raised his children, I shopped with his mother." "I did every single thing so he wouldn't have to worry about it." "I played by all the rules." "Why didn't you tell me there were no rules?" "It's not fair!" "Your anger is frightening the sand." "I'm not angry." "Why aren't you angry?" "Because that's not me." "That's you." "He ruined your life, humiliated you." "That's not why he did it, it's just the way he is." "He lied about everything." "He didn't know how to handle it." "He abandoned you in your last years." " Aren't you even angry about that?" " No!" "Why not?" "!" "Because..." "I'm heartbroken." "You're crying." "There's a whole world in here." "Wow." "End to end." "Look at... that thing over there." " Hi." " Welcome." " Where is he?" " Welcome." "There he is." "See those two birds?" "Behind Jesus?" "I don't see Jesus." "But that's the general direction." "They look like they really love each other, don't they?" " Do birds mate for life?" " No one does." "Whichever one of you is the lady bird, don't trust him!" "He'll break you in two and leave you crumbled in the dirt!" "Save yourself!" "Fly away!" "Fly away!" "You warned her." "I am a little angry." " You are?" " Yeah, at myself." "I mean, there were times... and I just thought..." "I guess I should've known something wasn't..." "But I couldn't..." "I ignored it." "I walked into Robert's study yesterday... for the first time in..." "I don't know how many years." "It was right there, in front of my face the whole time." "Where was I?" "I missed it." "Sol once asked me to wear a dildo." "That's worse." "Let's go back." "You can do it." "Whoa." "Okay." "Wow, I must have half the beach in my vagina." " Cialis?" " Sol's." "Ooh!" "I think I peed a little on Ryan Gosling." "Now what?"