"The diary of John Hamish Watson, Doctor of Medicine." "May 21st." "Pay for coal." "Pick up Wednesday's order from pharmacy." "Professor Challenger will be presenting on Friday, remember to book seats." "He seems an interesting character." "Write foreword to the anniversary short story collector's edition." "Perhaps something about the unjust demise of genius in an unjust world." "Also think of a title." "My friend, Sherlock Holmes" "You lose, Roger." "You were saying?" "I can't see." " Turn up the lamp." " No need." "This is fine." "Count it." "That's it, then." "Now I only have to shoot myself." "Well, there is one thing you can do for me," " and your debt will be forgiven." " What is it?" "You are employed at Her Majesty's Treasury, are you not?" "What are you... what are- are you mad?" "!" "No, it's not possible!" "And then he jumped on Moriarty and" " Good morning." " Good morning." " And?" "And both of them fell into the raging waterfall." "How do you know all this?" "Miss Westbury, all of London has been reading the Sherlock Holmes stories for the last three years." " Good morning." " Good morning." " All of England!" "Never heard of him." "So, has he been writing about his adventures himself?" "Oh no, the author is his friend and helper, Dr. John Watson." "Good morning." "Well, Mr. West, I think that Sherlock Holmes probably never existed and that this Watson of yours simply made it all up." "But Miss Westbury, it's impossible to make up." "The accuracy, the level of observation, the—" " My theory, Mr. West, is that—" " Sorry." " in reality—" " Excuse me." "the real detective is actually Watson himself." " He's just too modest and so he invented—" " Miss Westbury, just one minute," " excuse me." " Mr. West, where are you going?" " I'll be back." "One minute." "Mr. Johnson!" "Mr. Johnson!" "Arthur?" "Chapter Eight:" "The Hound Named Baskerville" "(Doorbell)" "Right at the most interesting part." "Do you know what dream I had?" "Tell me." "(Doorbell)" "Who would come so early?" "That Pearson of yours?" "No, one of yours, what's his..." "M..." "McCoy?" "McCoy was here yesterday, remember?" "I'm trying not to." "He makes everything stink of cigars, he demands tea every time, he..." "Maybe they're gone?" "(Doorbell)" "You open it, I'll get dressed." "And I don't need to get dressed?" "You just need to put on a robe." " What are these barrack-room habits?" "!" " All right, all right, I'll go." " I'll do it, I'll do it." " Stay here." "Good morning, sir." "Good morning, Mrs." "Is this 221 Baker Street?" " B. - 221 is much further along." "So I'm right, then." "You are Dr. Watson?" " I told you it's yours." " Yes." "Is this Mr. Holmes' house?" "Yes." "Come in, come in." "Come in, don't be shy." "Apologies for not being, you know." "It's just that you're such an early visitor." "After you." "Please come in." "So, here before you is the room of Mr. Sherlock Holmes." "That's his famous cape, of course, as you know." "Mr. Sherlock Holmes was born in 1854 into a landlord's family." "He received an excellent education as a biochemist." "He opened his detective practice in 1878." "In fact, everything here belonged to Mr. Sherlock Holmes himself, and he treasured them all very much." "Here are his books, instruments." "His violin, his gloves." "Here are the pipes." " And this is his brother, Mycroft." " Mr. Watson, this is very interesting, but I... how do I put it..." "I'm here about a different matter." "A private one." "Of course." "Yes, I understand, I apologise." "Come in to my room." "Come in." " My name is Violet Westbury." " Oh, that's not necessary." "So, um, what month?" "Month?" "Well, when did you discover that, you know..." "Oh, today, at about eight in the morning." "I see." "Right then, move behind the curtain, you will need to get changed." "The curtain?" "Why?" "Well, where else?" "I'm... sir, no, sir, you misunderstand." "Mr. West told me about you." " West..." "West..." " Do you know about Mr. West's death?" "That's unfortunate." "Must be his age..." "He was just 23." "We were walking down Downing Street and there was a terrible fog." "Suddenly he left and it was as if he disappeared, until I found him at the fish market." "He was swimming in the aquarium." " In the aquarium at the fish market?" " Yes." " Extravagant." " He was dead, sir, do you understand?" "(Doorbell)" " Could you get that, dear?" " Yes!" "So... so you came to me... as a detective?" "You see, the thing is," "Holmes was the detective, I'm just a doctor, I..." "Let me in!" "I can't wait any longer, let me in!" " Please excuse me, could you wait for a minute?" " Watson!" " One minute." " Watson!" " Inspector!" " Get dressed!" " Wait, what did I do?" " Let's go, Doctor!" " Let me" " You?" "You didn't do anything," " but now all of England is suspected." " Let me—" " Apart from the Queen, of course." "I don't understand, what happened?" "Let me go." " A man named Arthur Cadogan West—" " Yes, he drowned in an aquarium," " so what?" " How did you know?" "The papers don't have anything on it yet." "So, Holmes did teach you something after all." "The Ministry insisted that I fetch you for the investigation." " Me?" "!" "But I" " I" " I have nothing to do with it!" " I know!" " These inflated turkeys from the Home Office are completely insane." " I—" "Soon they'll be getting opera singers to conduct investigations!" " Martha!" " Holmes?" "!" "Do we know each other?" " Mr. Minister!" " This... this is not Sherlock, it's the brother." "Everyone is ready, then?" "Good." "Watson, you're coming with us." " Where?" " I told you, to the crime scene— isn't that right, Mr. Minister?" " So alike..." " Yes." "Watson." "So, Inspector, what were you saying about us Ministers?" " Suspenders." " Yes." " Socks." " Yes." "No, I'm not going anywhere," " no, this is silly, I..." " No." " No, no, no, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not a detective." " You will go." "You will seek, and you will find, because we can't live like this anymore." "Because our lives have become dull and grey." "Because we're starting to hate each other." "I couldn't stand Holmes, and now I don't like my life either." "But you'll fix that." "God damn it!" "Don't swear." "Holmes always swore, and you're not Holmes yet." ""Not Holmes yet."" "Mr. Watson!" "Thank you." "Excuse me, Miss." "He did not forget about you." "He was summoned urgently." "Yes, I heard it all." "Do you think he will find the murderer?" "He will." "He absolutely will." "Go, go, go!" "Hold up the legs!" "Strange fad to swim in this weather." "Put the head here." "Mr. Higgins!" "What is it, Lestrade?" "I think these are the documents, sir." "Allow me." "Excuse me, sir, with all due respect, that's evidence you're taking." "Sir, I repeat, these papers are evidence." "I took nothing, understood?" "Understood." " Higgins!" " Yes, sir!" "You didn't find anything." "Yes, sir." "Understood." "The head has been crushed in two places, the second one evidently after death." "Someone really hated him." "Perhaps a mistress?" "Well then she must be considerably taller than me and have remarkable strength." "The blow was made from above with great force, but the mistress is small and thin." "You are better than Holmes." "How do you know about the mistress?" "She came to me this morning." "Damn it!" "I cannot work in such circumstances!" "Evidence is taken away!" "Witnesses are hiding!" "Lestrade, work with the locals." "Ask around, perhaps somebody saw something." " My fish, can I load the fish?" " I can't hold your hand!" " Ask the locals!" " My fish, my fish!" "They'll all rot!" "Let me—" "I'll show you the fish!" "Take him away!" " Watson, come here for a minute." " Yes, of course." "I'm sorry, Mycroft, but perhaps you could explain to me what's going on?" "Arthur Cadogan West worked at Her Majesty's Treasury." "The missing papers came out of there." "Sadly, this isn't all of them." " Clearly the man tried to sell them separately." " Could you tell me—" "If I tell you, you'll have to be killed." "Now then, the rest of the papers must be found before the 25th." "But who would even need them?" "The greatest foe of England." "You have three days." "Inspector, you must excuse me," " I didn't expect—" " It doesn't matter." "Nobody saw anything." "There's a familiar smell." "Can you tell what—" "I'm not smelling a corpse's pants." "Creosote!" "Sorry, I remember now." "Creosote!" " The guy was a rail worker?" " A clerk." "He was a clerk." " Good sir!" " Come here!" " Could you—" " Come here!" " Coming, coming!" "Could you tell me the route that was taken to get the fish here?" "Here, it's creosote, creosote." "So, it looks like he..." "Unlikely." "If this guy jumped from a train into a fish cart the whole street would see him." "And the fog?" "The fog was very thick this morning, they could have missed him." " Then perhaps you're right." " Perhaps not." " But, why?" "Because the victim's head was crushed twice, and the second time occurred much later after his death." "Yes." "Twice, and later." "Could you tell if there was blood?" "Was any blood washed away?" "What blood?" "There was no blood here." "I'm scared of blood." "I was even supposed to become a nurse, more money, warmth, and alcohol, but I still refused because—" "Quiet!" "A dead end." "No, there's no dead end, there's a sharp turn." "You can't build a dead end right after a turn," " otherwise the driver would go splat—" " I said quiet!" " ..." "like a fly." "How is it possible?" "Why, why, why?" "Why twice?" "The turn." "The turn, right, yes." "So, he jumped at the turn." "Or fell off." "That happened once!" "A drunkard climbed onto the roof of a train and—" "Well, all right, let's say he fell out, but what's the difference?" "It still doesn't make sense." "A dead end!" "I think we're digging ourselves deeper into a load of nonsense." "Everything is too complicated." "Well, yes." "Sherlock isn't here." "I will still say it, even though this gentleman forced me to be quiet." "You can jump onto the roof of a train." " How?" "How could anyone jump onto the roof?" " Let's go, I'll show you, it's not far!" "So, the picture is clear." "West sells— I can say it, right?" "–he sells, let's say, documents." "At the last moment he feels ashamed and he jumps out of the window." "And you know the rest." "Miss Westbury lost Arthur at Downing Street." "It's just a stone's throw away from here." "You can go." "The case is closed." "Oh, if only it was that easy." "What about finding the documents?" "Getting them back?" "That's easy." "We'll search the whole house." "And if he didn't sell them at this house?" " We'll search the whole square." " And how long would that take?" "Well, about two weeks, if it's done quickly." "Two weeks." "What are you looking at me for?" " But it's impossible to return the documents before the 25th, it's—" " Not a day later." "It's impossible!" "And what will happen on the 25th?" "Didn't help?" "Just ask yourself what Holmes would've started with." "But how would I know what he would've started with?" "He always just walked around, observed, inquired, and then bam!" "Solved." "Well then, you start with that." "With what?" "With inquiring." "You didn't even listen to Miss Violet." "What did Holmes used to say? "The devil is in the details."" "Yes, he loved swearing." "Mad theories from British scientists!" "Professor Challenger claims man descended from monkeys!" " Mad theories from British scientists!" " Great view!" " Professor Challenger claims man descended from monkeys!" " Of course, you always know the exact time." "This is the Permanent Secretary, after all." "Please introduce us to Mr. Johnson." "Mycroft Holmes and John Watson." "Welcome, gentlemen, Mr. Johnson is expecting you." "Welcome, gentlemen, welcome." "This is just incredible, two celebrities in one visit!" "Oh, no, please, you're exaggerating." "Don't be shy, Doctor, I've read all of your stories." "Come in, take a seat." " Cigar, whiskey, cognac?" " Oh no, no, no." " I wouldn't mind a glass of scotch." "A beautiful view you have here." "I would happily exchange this view for a small house somewhere in Yorkshire, but I am bound by duty." "I must operate by Her Majesty's clock." " Oh, are you talking about Big Ben?" " Ah?" " Big Ben?" " Yes, that's right." "Even though the Queen has her own astronomical watch, I fancy that sometimes even she will not resist the temptation to check it against Big Ben." "Well, you know better than me." " Your sleeve." " Oh, thank you." "There are repairs going on." "Right." "So... you have my full attention, gentlemen." "But I presume..." " that you are here about Arthur West?" " Yes." "You were his superior." "I was." "Please forgive me." "Well, you understand how I feel." "I mean, Sherlock Holmes..." " Yes." " Yes." "My God, what a nice young man he was." "Hard-working, honest, punctual." "I know, these traits won't surprise an Englishman, but Arthur was just so- so..." "And such a ridiculous death." "So, you have documents missing from this office." "Ah?" "Yes." "And very important ones." "What documents were they?" "If I tell you, you will have to be killed." "I'm joking of course." "But it is a strict state secret." "I don't understand how he could do such a thing." "I refuse to believe it." "Even if you kill me, I don't believe it." "Well, did you notice anything... strange in his actions leading up to his death?" "No, no." "And his friends?" "Acquaintances?" "Oh, what friends?" "His friends were hole punchers and paperclips, pen and ink." "He loved his work." "Yes." "Although—" "Excuse me." "There was one thing." "The day before, he almost forgot to sign in the register." " The register?" " Yes, the very one in which they record work on the documents." "I was just shocked." "I've mentioned to you his punctuality, so this—!" "The day before yesterday?" "It's all clear, then." "No, it's not!" "He couldn't have done it." "Arthur was the angel of the office!" "He was the scum of Hell." "He would snitch on all his colleagues." "Nobody was friends with him." "How could you be friends with a man who walks on all fours?" "All fours?" "Yeah." "Down where it's easier to lick the authority's ass." "Tell me, do you think he was capable of stealing and selling the documents?" "He was ready to sell his own mother!" "He went to a Christmas party and forced us all to play charades— charades!" "The bastard!" "He was as miserly as Gobseck, couldn't even get a damn pin off him, he counted all of them." "Oh well, a dog will die a dog's death." "Right, well, we had better go." "Gentlemen, perhaps a drink?" "Oh no, no." "No, thank you." "It's excellent." "Yes, I will." "That Kerslake, what kind of swill did he give me?" "We're here." "Why did you drink so much?" "You're completely intoxicated." "Oh, no, I'm mostly sober, but..." "Let me invite you in for some coffee." "No need, I'll head off now." "No excuses." "Please." "Come on, I won't take no for an answer." "I beg of you." "Careful, careful, careful." "Go!" " Damn, damn!" " Martha, coffee!" "With sugar?" "That's it, that's it." " Mrs. Hudson." " We have a guest!" "I'm really ashamed." "We need very strong coffee." "Damn." "Sit down." "That's it." "Thank you, Martha." "Thank you, Mrs. Hudson." "Sugar." "I really am very ashamed." "Sugar..." "Damn good coffee, Mrs. Hudson, thank you." "Well... is that better?" "All right, let's try standing." " Time already?" " It's fine, it's fine." "Yes, time already, I just want to see how well you can stand." " So..." " So." "Let me help." " Time is time." " There we are." "Good." "So" "Let me introduce you one more time, Martha, to Mr. Holmes." "Sherlock Holmes!" " What makes you say that?" "!" " What makes me say that?" "Can you imagine" "Mycroft swearing like that?" "Mycroft drinking like that?" "Who do you think this person is who's gotten so drunk and been swearing so much, Martha?" "Sherlock Holmes!" "Oh, and your moustache came off." "It did indeed." "I recognised you right from the start." "A woman's instincts." "Martha- no, Martha" " I" " I beg of you- please, do not faint." "Not now." " I just asked you—" " Why do you have to be so cruel?" "I hate you." " What is so hateful—" " Hate—!" " —about me?" "I hate your arrogance!" "Your haughtiness!" "Your filthy and incessant buffoonery which you like to pass off to everyone as a by-product of your so-called genius!" "And this horrendous cruelty of yours, this childishness!" "This foul liberalism." "And don't even get me started on your attitudes towards women— that's not even the worst of it." "And yet after all this he is still manages to be constantly right!" "He's just always right, always—" "The only reason I didn't break your neck from day one was because you were right, do you understand?" "That's why I stuck around with you." "You stuck around with me only because I allowed you to do so." "Oh, is that right?" "Give me the water." " Of course." "I allowed it—" " I said, give me the water." "—because I saw in you a sincere curiosity for life, a desire to help people!" "Three years, Sherlock." "Three years, Sherlock, you used me for three..." "No, forget me, what about Martha?" "Why Martha, huh?" "This is disgusting, disgusting, understand?" "It's all right, dear." "Well, sorry for staying alive!" " Don't hit with your palm." " Stupid moustache!" "I showed you, remember?" "I've had enough." "Enough of this sentimental scene where for some reason I have to be your whipping boy!" "Get out of my house!" "What a hero!" " What?" " Your house?" "!" "It's yours as much as mine!" "But I will leave, I'll leave." " Just give me some water!" " Don't touch!" "Do you know why I got drunk, Mrs. Hudson?" " Because I'm no longer used—" " Used to what?" " to your rigid military discipline—" " What are you saying?" " Yet somehow, paradoxically, you still manage to be as sentimental as a lady—" " Get—" " And by that I don't mean you're philanthropic, they're not the same!" " Sorry." " Get out!" " I'm no longer used to your stupid short-sightedness and your insipidity!" " Get out!" "No, it's impossible—" " You both be quiet!" "Is this all you can say to each other after three years of separation?" "What separation?" "We buried him!" "We made a sanctum of his room!" "We prayed to him!" "And all this time he was just hiding from us, just—" "It's just vile." "Moriarty is alive." "What?" "That's it." "Your time is up." "Remember I told you not to expect thunder and lightning?" "I was joking." "Sherlock!" " I lived in Switzerland for a year." " Mr. Holmes..." "Herded sheep." " What a headache." " Wait." "But I learned how to distinguish between different kinds of wool." "Thank you Mrs. Hudson." "I think I'll head to my room." " Of course." " Holmes, Holmes, uh..." " ..." "Perhaps..." " By the way, you know that wool can be woven, like knitwear, or it can be a felt." "Felt itself can also be produced in different ways, for example by subjecting layers of fibres to heat, water," "and compression, or by treating skins with mercuric nitrate.* This is a thread of tweed" "from the late Arthur West's jacket." "Tweed." "It means that the guy... sorry, I'm going to my room." " Of course, of course, Mr. Hol—" " It's not clean in there, Holmes, perhaps you could..." "I forgot about the museum!" "What's this?" "!" "How quickly history can be altered!" "So what, are there visitors?" " Well, there are fewer now, of course." " Were there many before?" "They were interested." " In the name of the Queen, open up!" " Les" " Lestrade!" " Lestrade!" "Give me the hat!" " Open up!" "It's the police!" " I'll get it!" " Good day, Inspector." " Oh, Inspector." " Unfortunately, I don't have any news yet." " But I do." "Johnson's dead." "And you and Mr. Mycroft Holmes were the last ones to see him alive." "Mrs. Hudson, close the door and do not open it to anyone." "Inspector, let's go!" "Nobody heard the shot." "No strangers entered the house either, except for you, of course." "But the guard said that he saw Johnson alive after you left." "Well, who knows, somebody could have been shooting from a balcony." "Do you see any balconies here?" " Let's go!" " Well, I meant figuratively..." " Is everything all right?" " Yes, sir!" "At five minutes to five, Mr. Johnson rang in the bell and asked for the newspapers with the results from the races." "At five o'clock, I always bring tea and close the windows to the office." "It's a tradition." "Mr. Johnson is very punctual." "So when Big Ben chimed, I brought tea to Mr. Johnson," "but when I entered the office he was already dead." "Maybe he shot himself." " Where's the weapon, then?" " No, he didn't." "There's no burning smell or gunpowder." "He hasn't held a weapon in his hand for two or three days." "Maybe it came through the window?" "Well, I've seen accurate shooters." "I myself am quite a good shot." "But here, there's about 800 yards to the nearest decent shooting spot." "But the most important question, gentlemen, is not how he was killed, but why." "This is actually the easiest." "Charles Johnson was killed because it was him who stole and sold the documents." "And now, gentlemen, excuse us, I need to go." "Watson, you're with me." "Cab!" "You didn't want to listen to me talk about woollen fabrics, but I wanted to tell you that the thread on the windowsill was from Arthur West's jacket." "The poor guy was thrown out after he was already dead." "And how did you conclude all this from a single thread?" "If a person wanted to commit suicide, he wouldn't crawl across the windowsill, he would stand on it and..." "Here, it's clear that his lifeless body was dragged there." " Why do you say lifeless?" " As a doctor, you must have noticed the lack of blood." "All right, fine, but why do you think that it was Johnson who stole the documents?" "It's just the logical outcome." "Faster!" "Can we go faster?" " Three people had access to the documents:" "West, Kerslake and Johnson." " Then it could be Kerslake." " Why?" " Well..." "He has enough for drinks, he drinks moonshine." "But Johnson has a passion for expensive things; for cigars, for whiskey." "Well he didn't buy those yesterday." "And his biggest passion is for cards." "Did you notice any signs of repair in his rooms?" "There were no repairs." "The trace on his sleeve was from the playing table, where the stakes are recorded with chalk." "This man played, and he kept playing." "He lost thousands." "How clever of him to invent this story about Arthur's absent-mindedness, as if he forgot to sign the register." "Mr. Johnson!" "Mr. Johnson, what are you doing?" " Hide it." " Who are these people?" " Arthur, how did you- how did—" " Who are these people?" " No, these are our people!" "It's not what you think!" "We're just" " I'll explain—" " You—" " I'll explain!" " Nobody is allowed to see those papers, gentlemen, you understand?" "Nobody!" "It's forbidden to read them!" "And if somebody does, what then?" "Then he will have to be killed." " What are—" " He proposed it himself." "What did- you- what have you done?" "!" "You've killed him!" " And if you yell for help, you will follow him." " No, no, no, I did what you asked, here are the documents, that's it." " And the plan?" " And the plan's here, it's all here." "I'm leaving." "I was never here." "Stop, I won't be dragging the body by myself." "I can't, I'm scared." "What are you doing?" "This is stupid, he would never do it!" "But you did." " No, I don't want- oh, but I—" " Take him." "My God." "Everything is so simple." " So the murder happened in the house over the rails?" " Essentially, yes." " Then we're going the wrong way" " No, we're going the right way." "Stop!" "Maybe now can you tell me who we're in such a hurry to see?" " What do you want?" " I want to see Irene Adler." " She's not home." " Oh, God." "When will she be back?" " Not any time soon, I don't think." " Do you know where she went?" "A few minutes ago she went to that square." "Good night." "Sherlock, I understand how love can affect a person," " especially after three years' absence, but why—" " We need to hurry, John." "Irene!" " I knew it." "I've found you." " Sherlock, you did." " You did, my beloved." "I knew." " I've found you." " I knew you would be in time." " I was so afraid he would deceive me." " Who?" " I've been looking for you for so long." "So long..." " Cold..." " What is it?" "Cold..." "Irene?" "Watson!" " Watson, what's wrong with her?" "There's blood." " I'm so happy you came." "So happy..." "Careful." "I don't know where the wound is." " How did this happen?" " Hold her under the shoulder." " My dear..." " What happened?" "Irene, look at me." "What happened?" "Can you see me?" " Close your eyes." " Remove your hand." " The photograph..." " It's because of the photograph." " What photograph?" " Because of the photograph..." "What photograph?" "Look at me." "Watson, how is she?" " Look at me!" "Look." " Yes..." " Can you see me?" "What photograph?" "Watson, how is she?" "!" "Why are you just sitting there?" "Why aren't you doing anything, Watson?" "She needs to be taken to the hospital!" "Out of the way!" "Out of the way!" "Holmes." "Holmes, I..." "Hold on, it's not far." "Really close." "About 20-25 steps." " Look at me." "Look at me!" " Holmes!" "I'll count the steps out loud." "Look at me!" " Twenty-four, twenty-three, twenty-two, twenty-one..." " Holmes!" " Twenty." "Look at me." "Look at me!" "Nineteen." "Look at me!" " Holmes!" " Eighteen." "Seventeen... sixteen, fifteen, fourteen, thirteen..." "I was too late." "John." "I beg of you, never write about her." "Do you hear me?" "Yes." "Never." "My God, and here I thought..." "This isn't your instrument, better the violin, by God." "Thank you." "And don't take it without permission." "Mrs. Hudson, make us some tea." " Perhaps..." " Tea, please." "Three years." "I followed him for three years." "And only a month ago did I find his trail." "He's back." "And he knows that I'm back." "Who do you mean?" "Seven hundred yards, John." "Seven hundred yards." "This pipe disappeared about a year ago." "I thought one of the visitors stole it." "It wasn't stealing." "It says "Sherlock Holmes' pipes", after all." " Plus, you quit two years ago." " Two and a half." "Seven hundred yards." "John, where is the ruler kept in Holmes' room now?" "Seven hundred and forty." "Seven hundred and forty yards to Johnson's house." "Irene..." "Six eighty to Irene." "I didn't hear the gun shot." "Which means it's not impossible that..." "What do you think, John, does there exist a weapon that can kill from such a distance?" " Mr. Holmes, if you are renewing your rent of this room, I would like to discuss some details with you—" " Let's go." "That drunkard Kerslake was right." "How I hate these charades..." " Where is it?" "!" " Don't kill me!" "I'm" " Please" " I'm sorry!" "What a paradox, John." "They make the weapons but in truth they fear death even more than the rest of us." "Mr. Holmes, I'm begging you, please, don't kill me, I didn't know it would be used against you!" "But did you ever wonder who it would be used against?" "!" "John, keep him at gunpoint." "If he tries anything, shoot him right in the forehead." "I'll show you, I'll show you everything." "It's here." "Here, take it." "This is... his order?" "John, take a look." "What do you think?" " Have you ever seen something like this?" " Is it a telescope?" "No, no, it's a rangefinder." " A rangefinder." " Essentially, it's almost a telescope, but not exactly the same." " What's the range?" " A thousand yards." " What?" "!" " At least eight hundred, for sure." "You see, John?" "Directly from Big Ben." "This thing, what is it?" " It looks too big to be the trigger mechanism." " I don't know why the client needed this, but the shot is triggered by the clock." "Now this is interesting, this is very interesting." "Eight hundred yards of sighting range." "What's the range of the bullet?" "Mr. Holmes, please, I'm just a master of a craft who tries to do a good job so- what... what are you doing?" "!" "Fifteen hundred yards." "After that, the bullet loses its lethal force." "Everything's clear." "Let's go, John." "Clear?" "What's clear?" "Before her death, Irene said that it was all because of the photograph." "The sailor, Tom Taylor, said the same thing." " It's all because of the photograph." " What photograph?" "What photograph?" "Did you preserve my archive?" "Where is it?" " Ah, well, yes, it's—" " Mr. Holmes!" "I know you're a big shot, but the fact is that you're disrupting the investigation." " Good day." " And you, Watson" "Do you want to spend some more time in a cell?" "What happened, Inspector?" "I was just going to ask you that." "How did you arrive earlier than me or the fire brigade?" "Mr. Holmes, Mr. Holmes!" "You ordered me to deliver this letter personally to Mr. Lestrade at Scotland Yard, but since he's already here..." "Yes, of course." "Breathe." "Mr. Holmes, it says that tomorrow at seven in the morning I should bring my best people and await further instructions." " What does it mean?" " Mr. Holmes, you are urgently awaited at the Ministry, urgently." " It means, Lestrade, that tomorrow at seven in the morning you call your best people and await further instructions." "Let's go, Watson." " Mr. Holmes." "Oh yes, this was also found in the aquarium." "Does it mean anything?" "Mr. Holmes!" "Go!" "Where will the exchange be held?" " The criminals demand that we take a train to Glasgow." " At 11 o'clock." " They also demand two million pounds." " For the papers?" " It's unfortunate, but I think we'll have to pay." " We will not pay, the Treasury does not have such money." " You know, it's funny." "So funny it's farcical." " What's so funny?" "This speech everyone knows by heart." "Every year the government acts as if somebody actually wants to kill the Queen, but everyone knows that at precisely midday she will still walk out of Buckingham Palace," " and everyone will greet her as usual, waving, applauding..." " Treat it, Sherlock," " as you would the tradition of eating your porridge every morning." " I don't need such a tradition, I don't eat porridge." "Porridge..." "Traditions..." "But that's it, gentlemen, traditions!" "That is what will at least remain unshakeable in our nation." "Believe me, there are many states that will toil through pain and blood just to rebuild those traditions they have lost, and yet..." "At least we have them." "We have the foundations... upon which we can build a society." "These are the values by which the state, the world, and indeed all life are held together." "Mycroft, we're all reliable people, tell me..." " how many times have you pledged and re-pledged our tradition?" " You ought to be destroyed." " As a cynical enemy of the state." " Do you know, Doctor, precisely which documents went missing from the Treasury?" "They're bills of sale, aren't they, Mycroft?" "The fact is that the Treasury is constantly short of money, and so a new tradition has arisen: to pawn the Imperial State Crown as security." "I believe it has been pledged no less than three times." " Five." " Five!" "Five!" " It can't be..." " And moneylenders, who are very devoted people, have very good interest." " Very high interest." " And now these priceless and, let's be honest, truly shameful papers have all disappeared." "That's the cost of your traditions, Watson." "I see." "If you babbled this out, even if in a dream, you'd have to be killed." "But you won't give away the crown." " What other papers are missing?" " Nothing too serious." " Which ones?" "The plan of the square in front of Buckingham Palace during the celebration." "The plan?" "Why?" "You can buy that anywhere." "This is a very detailed and accurate plan." "The Queen will be killed tomorrow, from Big Ben." "Don't be ridiculous, that's impossible." "There are more than 1000 yards between Big Ben and Buckingham palace, no weapon can fire that far." "Even if there is, there's still a tree in the way." "There is an oak that blocks the view of Big Ben from that balcony." "We've checked." "So, tomorrow at six in the morning, at Scotland Yard." "Please don't be late." "Lend me your watch, Mycroft." "I'll give it back tomorrow." "Why do you need my watch?" "Excuse us." "For three years this room has been clean and tidy, but now you're back, Mr. Holmes, and everything will be the same again." "Look under the bed." "Found it." "What did we find?" " The curious reader can't wait to see what happens next?" " No." "He waits for Sherlock Holmes to come, to stretch in his chair, sort everything out, and elegantly pull a rabbit out of a hat?" "Well, yes." "And can the reader not draw his own conclusions?" "He saw everything I saw, and he knows everything I know." "What was the Admiral studying?" "Admiral Wilson." "The Admiral... what?" "What?" "Read it." " Ballistics—" " Yes, he was studying ballistics." "All your calculations were based on having all the information:" "height, speed, distance, and so on." "Read it, read the book." " All of it?" " I did." " But it'll take me a year..." " Read the title." ""On increasing sighting range with the help of mathematical calculations..."" ""..." "Or how to reach the target out of sight"." " Right." " Tomorrow at 12, with the first chime, the Queen will walk out onto the balcony." " At 11, London's best policemen will board a train for Glasgow." " Glasgow?" "Where the exchange will be held." " That's right, 1300 yards." " Thirteen hundred, right." "So..." "Now let us see who is smarter: the reader, Sherlock Holmes, or..." "Damn, this is so uncomfortable." "I will meet you and Lestrade tomorrow at Scotland Yard at six." " At six." " Please do not be late." " Take a gun with you." " Of course." " Lock the door at night and do not open it to anyone." " No one." " No matter who it is." "Yes." "Not even if it's me." "At exactly midday she will walk out onto the balcony." "The shot is triggered by the clock." "There are more than 1000 yards between Big Ben and Buckingham palace, no weapon can fire that far." "Fifteen hundred yards." "There is an oak that blocks the view of Big Ben from that balcony." "Read the title." ""On increasing sighting range with the help of mathematical calculations..."" ""..." "Or how to reach the target out of sight"." "Check the clock, gentlemen." "I'll give the floor to the Minister, Sir Mycroft Holmes." "Good morning, sir!" "So, gentlemen, you have been selected from London's police force as the most responsible and the most skilful." " Serving Her Majesty is our duty, sir!" " Please do not interrupt me in the middle of my message." "This job will demand a high level of secrecy and responsibility." "A certain criminal has decided to blackmail the government and the Queen of England." "Your task is to dress as civilians and to listen very carefully to all of Inspector Lestrade's orders." "In turn, you, Inspector, must follow my instructions." "The operation will be held on a train." " You have 15 minutes for preparation." " Thank you, sir." "Right, go and change." "If I see even a hint of a bobby in anyone, you will be dismissed without a pension." "Look at me." " You will carry out all my orders." "Clear?" " Yes, sir!" "Go!" "Hurry!" "I made— sorry— I've checked the calculations made by our friend..." " Doctor, my dear fellow, I will listen to you, but only after everything is over." "Lestrade!" " I understand, I just—" "I need one of your most reliable people." "Higgins." " Yes, sir!" " Hold this, Higgins." " Mr. Holmes!" " Do not take your eyes off it." " Mr. Holmes, the telephone for you." "Wait for me here." "Wait here!" "Where is the carriage?" "Where's Higgins?" "And Watson?" "With all due respect, sir, it is shameful for the police to have to do a deal with a criminal." "We are saving the honour of the Empire." "Let that be your reassurance." " Spread yourselves out among the cars." " Yes." "Smith, Byron, Owen, Cosing, come here!" "Idiot." "This is a secret operation." " All is well, sir, the train left on schedule." " Wonderful, Mortimer, we can go." " Well, Doctor, let me have a look at your calculations." " Are we not all going together, Mr. Holmes?" " They're not actually mine, they were made by our friend—" " No, Mr. Higgins, we are going in the other direction, and your task is to keep your eyes on the luggage." "Yes, Doctor," "I believe this will be interesting for your readers." "It looks curious and plausible." "Publish the story, Holmes would have been pleased." "Sir, there's traffic on the bridge." "What do we do?" "Gentlemen, we will go by foot." "Mortimer, you know what to do." "Mr. Holmes, where are we going?" "Mr. Watson has come up with a great idea." "It's not far, about 25 minutes at a brisk walk." "Mr. Watson, walk behind Higgins, he carries some valuable cargo." "Her Majesty's headgear, no less." "Buckingham Palace" "Now we will test, John, how attentive your readers are." "Higgins, have you read Mr. Watson's stories?" "No, sir, I have not." "Well you wouldn't believe it, one of Mr. Watson's very eager supporters has sent him a curious story:" "one about the murder of Her Majesty the Queen right on her birthday." "The murderer lurks inside Big Ben and shoots her dead at precisely 12 o'clock." "What do you think, Mr. Higgins?" "The rifle is much higher up, Mr. Holmes." "You don't have enough time, there are three minutes left." "Stop it." "Have you read what Professor Challenger has written?" "He claims that mankind originated from monkeys." "What do you think, Mr. Holmes?" "I'm sure that humanity would gladly submit to the monstrous idea of becoming apes." "It's easier that way." "Simple actions, primitive thoughts, primitive feelings, bestial desires." "People long to be like monkeys." " On the first chime?" " Yes, Mr. Holmes." "You cannot stop the shot." "You can only stop the clock." "How much time is there left?" "Two minutes." "I checked it an hour ago while installing it." "It's not even a rifle, Mr. Holmes." "It is my greatest invention." "And she didn't like it!" "After a minute and a half, she will die, and nothing can be changed, Mr. Holmes." "I'm a mathematician, Mr. Holmes." "The future belongs to people like me, the bespectacled men." "And all you need to do is shoot me." "But you are too honest, Mr. Holmes." "You are incapable of killing a man in cold blood." "Incidentally, it was I who gave her this gun." "Right now, I wouldn't bet a halfpenny on the Queen's life!" "Imagine the cries that must be filling the square!" ""The Queen has been killed!" "They've killed the Queen!"" "Their cry, Holmes, is my applause." "Happy birthday to you!" "Happy birthday to you!" "Happy birthday, Victoria!" "Happy birthday to you!" "But I did bet a halfpenny on the Queen's life." "And this is my applause." "You're right, the future does indeed belong to us four-eyes." "Professor, let's go." "John!" "Did I scare you?" "Not a bit." "Did you do it?" "Save the Queen?" "You make it sound so romantic." "She wasn't in any danger." "What?" "Do you know how much difference a halfpenny can make?" "If placed on the pendulum, it speeds up its pace by exactly one second every hour, thus adjusting the time.**" "And do you know what sets the standard for all of England?" "By which clock does every Englishman set his own watch?" "Big Ben." "No." "By the hour of Her Majesty the Queen." "Come, I'll tell you the story in detail." "Let's go." "Mr. Holmes, what is the meaning of this?" "There were shots fired from inside Big Ben, then all of a sudden this man came tumbling down." "Where did he come from?" "Up there." "Who is he?" "Can you tell me?" " I don't know him." " Why did you shave?" "Just half an hour ago you had a beard and a moustache." "Tracey." " Gentlemen." " Who's this?" " Sherlock." "Sherlock?" "Good day, Mycroft." "But he's dead." "That's a slight exaggeration." " Sherlock, I'll kill you!" " Mr. Lestrade!" "Sir, sir..." " Get everyone out of here!" " Move along, everyone!" "Where's Higgins?" "We were almost fooled— or, rather, we were fooled." "We took the train all the way for nothing." " I'm asking you, where is Higgins?" " Higgis died." "On duty." "Let's go, John, we still have unfinished business." " Miss Violet Westbury." " Good day." "Mr. Sherlock Holmes." "But you died in the waterfall, you fell into the abyss." "No, I'm not dead, I'm alive." "You can touch me." "No, no, I believe you." "My dear Miss Westbury," "Arthur Cadogan West died... he died as a hero." "You can be proud of him." "Yes, yes, I am." "His murderer was found." " And he got what he deserved." " No, please don't..." "This was found in Arthur's pocket." "Obviously he wanted to give it to you." "Shall we go home?" "Mr. Watson, Mr. Holmes, you are late for lunch." "I have heated the kidney pie twice already." "If you are going to be this punctual next time, you will have everything cold." "Mr. Holmes!" "Mr. Holmes," "you are exactly as I pictured you." "Everyone back!" "Against the wall!" "I miss small rooms." "You cannot imagine the oppressiveness of large halls." "Mr. Holmes, today, on my birthday," "I decided to allow myself a small gift." "To personally acquaint myself with the person whose adventures I have been reading for the past few years." "Bravo, Dr. Watson, bravo." " My brother, Mycroft, said that, according to the schedule, you should be..." " Mycroft?" "Mycroft Holmes." "He serves under you." "After a hundred years everyone will be forgotten, but not him." "Nor you, of course." "I don't remember him." "Mr. Holmes, I know that you like to get to the bottom of mysteries." "I think this will interest you." "Have a look." "It explains a lot." "I have thought long and hard about how I ought to thank the man who has been so invaluable the British Crown." "Reward you?" "Better Lestrade, he needs it more." "Knight you?" "I thought so." "Titles are for courtiers." "I do not wish to insult you with money." "Do you know what, Mr. Holmes?" "I should like to give you my favourite dog." "Take good care of her." "What's her name?" "She is named after my court huntsman, Baskerville." "Good bye, Mr. Holmes, Mr. Watson, Mrs. Hudson." "Your Majesty, they say it is a bad omen to gift a pet." "One must give at least a coin in consideration." "Back up!" "Everybody move along!" "What was in the file?" "About Moriarty?" "I can't tell you." "It's a royal secret." "Let it remain a mystery for the reader." "Damn, I'd better give Baskerville to you and Mrs. Hudson." " What, why do we need her?" "I don't like dogs..." " Well, now when you walk down Baker Street together, no one will say, "look, here comes that widow Hudson and her doctor."" "I'm a writer." "You know, Holmes, I think I'll call my first collection, "My friend, Sherlock Holmes"." "Call it whatever you wish." "They're all lies anyway, in the end." "My friend, Sherlock Holmes" "Thank you for staying with us till the end, you are the reason why we persisted with this project =)" "*Reviser's note 1:" "Unfortunately Holmes' speech about wool and felt was too difficult to decipher, so the English is not a literal translation, but essentially serves the same purpose." "**Reviser's note 2:" "Technically the mass of a pendulum does not affect the speed of the swing, but hey, let's humour them :" "P"