"[projector whirring]" "[siren wailing]" "[vehicles honking] [instrumental music]" "You're late tonight, sir." "In all the years of coming here" "I've never told you my name." "It's Walter." "It'd make me so happy if you called me that." "Walter." "Ignacio." "Good evening." "The allure of that never fades I'm happy to report." "Couple of bunches of hydrangeas?" "You got it." "[music continues] [indistinct chattering]" "[music continues]" "[music continues]" "[indistinct chattering]" "[music continues]" "Goodnight, Walter." "Goodnight, Ignacio." "[intercom buzzing]" "You've got to be kidding me." " Just ignore it." " That is not in my nature." "[intercom buzzing]" " Yes?" " Help me!" " Sam?" " No." "It might be a trick." "Who is this?" "What's happening?" " Help me!" " I'm buzzing you in." "Get down there, I'm gonna call 911." " Not a chance." " Then I'm going." "Okay, okay, okay, alright, fine." "What is that?" "Oh, hell." "Oh." "[indistinct mumbling]" "Senseless." "Perfectly senseless..." "My wife..." " Call 911!" " I already did." "Jesus." "It's okay, the ambulance is on its way." "Just hang in there." " Make sure she gets this." " Jesus!" "[gasps]" "Her name is Marcia." "There is another guy out here!" "Don't let go." "I'm here." "I was just... [no audio]" "[instrumental music] [siren wailing]" "[indistinct police radio chatter]" "A thinker who predates Darwin and dares suggest that an objective analysis of what it is to live as a human." "A thinking sentient being whose sole trajectory is toward the grave." "Particularly once children have been reared would have us perhaps choose not to be born at all." "Imagine that." "Better not to live than to live and suffer." "But Eros seduces us not only into striving for the falsely ethereal, but worse, propagating and thereby subjecting another generation to the same suffering we endure." "In short, to love and reproduce is at some level a sinister enterprise because we deposit offspring into such a shitty world." "Anyway you look at it, grim stuff." "So Friday then." "[indistinct chattering]" "Just 10 years ago I was certain the answer was no." "The Greeks had it right." "We're just atoms." "But who knows?" "In your lifetime, not mine, thank goodness we'll perhaps become immortal." "You believe in that stuff?" "Our thoughts anyway." "Measurable in bits." "Everything reducible to 2 symbols or their absence." "I used to believe in nothing." "Now I believe in everything." "My problem is how all of this degrades our appetite to keep asking what it could all mean." " Jill might have cancer." " Might?" "A lesion on one of her ovaries." "Ah." " Does your mother know?" " We're not telling her yet." "This puts me in a very odd..." "Dad, is that really gonna be your response?" "Of course not, Adam." "What can we do?" "She doesn't want me telling anyone, so this conversation is..." "It's nothing personal, she just doesn't want people." "No need to explain." "I just..." "I'm here, Adam." "Always." "[instrumental music]" "[indistinct chattering]" "Oh!" "[indistinct chattering]" "I told her, but she's like "You promised me," so I'm hosed." "What... what if I need that?" " What?" " The chair." "Oh, sorry." "Um, hold on a second." "Dude, how many tickets do you have?" "Fuck you." "No way." " Excuse me..." " Hold on." "I said hold on." "Can I just have this chair until whoever you're waiting for gets here?" "I didn't say that I was waiting for anyone." "Okay, I get it." "Um, excuse me, may I please have this chair?" "Why didn't you just ask in the first place?" "Dude, just buy the ticket and I'll deal." "No." "I don't wanna pay for 2." "I need this chair and you clearly don't." "Who are you to determine what I need?" "Alright, you keep your fucking chair." "It's the only empty seat in here but you could stare at it while you're killing fucking trees." " My book is used." " Yeah?" "Well you're a selfish, lonely bitch." "[sighs] [indistinct chattering]" "[sniffs]" "[instrumental music] [sniffles]" "[indistinct chattering]" "The thing about Bobby is he's an auditory learner more than a visual one." "Come on, Marta." "You're really gonna choose now to talk about your precious little Bobby." "There's a line!" "[music continues] [honking]" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Did you honk at me, Sarah?" " I did, Marta." " Un-fucking believable." "And what if I needed to speak to Joan?" "Uh, you could e-mail her." "Maybe I need to speak with her in person because my son is having trouble." "Hire a tutor like the rest of us." "How do I know what to say to the tutor if I can't speak to his teacher?" "Which brings us back to e-mail." "I learn more in person." "Inflections." "Like I'm learning what a shrew you are right now." "Shrew?" "I wouldn't get the full effect in written text." "Did you just say shrew?" "[car horn blares]" "Fuck off, Jane!" "Marta why don't you e-mail me?" "Imagine that." "You're a cunt, Sarah." "Honk at me again and I'll deck you." "Just get me to 5 o'clock." "[instrumental music]" "Hi, mommy." " Hey!" " Here you go, Angie." "Did you do the math yet?" "No, I'll just ask Hal." "Because he's a fucking genius!" "Hal, I can't figure out this..." " Jesus!" " Get the fuck out!" " Lock your door!" " I said get out!" "This is why we have locks!" "[jazz music]" " Really?" " Are you seriously still here?" " Help me with this problem, sicko." " Call one of your..." "I did." "None of them have done it." " None of them has done it." " Eat me." "Incest is taboo." "Give me." "Not with your jizz hands." ""Find the ratio of radius to circumference..."" "It should never deviate." "It's Pi r to Pi r squared." "Oh, right." "That's so easy." "Have you and Amy ever..." " I mean, have you guys..." " I wish." "There's always holocaust literature." "Fuck you." "I wasn't even..." "Wailing away reading about the six million?" "We will pursue this no further." "What about you?" "I would have with Lucas, but he never tried and I don't wanna come off like a slut." "Idiot." " Me or Lucas?" " Both." "You think I should have lost it to that douche bag?" "He is a douche bag." "Thanks for telling me." "I hate all the guys who wanna fuck you." "I just said he didn't wanna fuck me." " Did you blow him?" " Has Amy blown you?" " I asked you first." " Yes." " [chuckles]" " You had Lucas Rapp's tool in your mouth?" "Okay, enough." "And he never tried to fuck you." " Never." " So he's gay." "Maybe." " Has Amy ever..." " Handjob." "Were you thinking about Anne Frank?" " [chuckles]" " Watching footage of "The Long March."" "What?" "How do you know this shit?" "You're a fucking freak." "[chuckles]" "Imagine if all the people who built these brownstones could see the city now." "Mm..." "It's our ruin or our nirvana." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Either we'll extinguish ourselves... or become God." "Jesus, Hal." "What else is there?" "[sniffs] [instrumental music]" "You can still write." "Shit don't go away." "Just don't nobody wanna read it." "Monica know you're down here?" "We broke up over a year ago." "Mission on your own then?" " Maybe." " Fuck that supposed to mean?" "Bringin' your obliquity up in here?" "This ain't no motherfucking courtroom." "Just finish up." "Look at that." "Boy in the day girl at night... [sighs]" "Nothin' better." "I have a friend outside that's going to join us." "Friend?" "What kind of friend?" "Helps out with this sort of thing." "Sort of thing?" "I'm going to open the door." "Hello there." "What's going on, Jeffrey?" "Jeffrey has asked me to help to get you some help." "You a fuckin' narc?" "I spoke to Dr. Barnes." "Who told my man about Dr. Barnes?" "Your father." "Fuck you, man." "Hey Joe, Joe, where you going, huh?" " Hey, hey, hey, hey!" " No!" "Fuck you, Jeffrey!" "Fuck you, fuckin' narc ass, mother fucker!" "Here's what happens in the next hour!" "We pack you up, go to your doctor, and him and you talk." "Well, you have to have an appointment to see that motherfucker!" "And what he say to do, you gonna do." " I'll do as I please." " I done took away that right." "Man, I'm gonna see the police, I'm gonna tell 'em..." "I'm gonna tell 'em you kidnapping me." "I know every police in this precinct." "Get you locked up on possession, take days to even think about remembering to give you a phone call." "So what you gonna do, do the jail route or the doctor route?" "I needed to tell someone." "By all means." "Look, the last thing I wanted was for you to..." "Then... then why do you do specifically what I asked you not to do?" "Because I am scared and bewildered and confused." "What do you think I am?" " If he says it's..." " Then we tell them." "How?" "When?" "What does one even..." "This is what I am talking about." "Why I wanted to speak to someone who's been a parent." "My parent who knows our kids." "Mrs. Zarrow?" "Is this at all related to the fertility?" "Adam asked the same question." "There are some studies that suggest a connection between progesterone and ovarian cancer but a large majority that makes none." "The truth of the matter is we... we won't know for a couple of decades given the uptick in the use of those drugs." " It will have been worth it." " Let's not go there." "I'm gonna have to agree with your husband." "Dr. Nachtigal will assist." "He's extraordinary." "And it's..." " Friday." " Friday." "The earliest I could get." "[train chugging]" " Uh, Jill, Adam?" " Hi, Ray." "You guys have a couple of minutes?" "We're leaking on you again?" "No." "And I got your check." " I'm gonna go up if that's okay." " Yeah." "Thi... this will just take a couple of minutes, I promise." "Really, Ray, it's not a good time." "It's about your kids." "What's of course hypocritical is we're all alike." "How's that?" "Over-educated, irrepressibly ambitious." "Moved out to the suburbs, thought it would be perfect but without the bank or the law firm or whatever what's left, but to polish our children and obsess over every little offense." "More?" "I think I'll switch to wine." "Stems are in the left cabinet." "You know her math challenged son already says he's going to mommy's college?" " What college?" " Princeton." "Of course." "It's utterly heinous, the level of entitlement." "As if I would already know that Allie and Angie were going to Dartmouth." "[both chuckling]" "This is good." "I'll send you the website." "From all over the world right to your door." "The shipping fees are less than what the taxes would be." "What I will say is next to no caregivers all moms... but still" "I thought by leaving Manhattan I was through with it." "This is worse because all of the conniving and ambition are less artfully concealed." "Don't lose sight of how lucky you are." " [telephone ringing]" " Morning on the other side of the world!" " That will be husband." " I'll check on the girls." "Thanks, Mere." " Hello!" " Angie?" "Oh, you know, just keeping it all moving." "About to have dinner." "Meredith came out." "I know." "How's China?" "[chuckles]" "Well, what do you want me to ask you?" "I know." "Allie is sick, but it will pass." "When are you coming back?" "No, no, everything is fine." "I'm just..." "You do want to come home though." "Promise?" "No, I know, sure." "Girls, it's your dad!" "May I call you once I put them down?" "Okay, I-I'll try anyway." "Here." "Hi, daddy." "Immediately." "Mm." "[indistinct chattering]" "Hello there." "I beg your pardon." "Can't a man greet a woman in the street?" "Is it Friday?" "Just mixing things up." "You were going to call." "Did you have lunch with Adam?" " What did he want?" " To catch up." "Where were you headed?" "I'm craving chocolate." "Mind if I join?" "You lecture today?" "Schopenhauer's take on erotic striving." "By my age, he was living with poodles." "He said, "Marriage was to reach into a sack of snakes and find an eel."" "[laughing]" "Mine is a life in which the thinkers I admire contradict the reality I inhabit." "Well, that's a relief." "I'm gonna retire." "What?" "At the end of the year." "My spring-load is light, then I'm done." "And you're telling me this on a chance walk to the deli?" " When else?" " Why?" "I always said when I was done I'd know it." "I've been suspicious for some time." " Suspicion is hardly..." " I'm certain." "What are you gonna do?" "Wake up and not have any idea." "I've got a decade left, maybe 2." "I want possibility." "It's all you've ever done." "And my life has been incredibly fulfilling." "I've been decent, honest, loyal." " I've worked hard." " Yes." "I've also been perpetually and resolutely safe." "It's a threshold, Marcia." "There for a moment, then gone." "I've spent my life delving into what it all means." "I wanna see for myself without the reassurance of young adoration." "And will it be alright if I still adore you?" "More essential than ever." "Let's get you chocolate." "I really think we should give it an hour." " A half hour even." " Not happening." "Just to put it in perspective." "Particularly with the sort of week it's been." "Hal!" "Ella!" "Get your asses down here." "If you're gonna interrogate us like this which based on the stories you and dad have told us will be patently hypocritical..." "I swear to you, Hal, if you don't cut the lawyerly bullshit, I am gonna smack you so hard you're gonna come to in New Jersey." "Jill..." "Answer the question." "Once a week?" "More?" "Three times?" "Every day?" "Again, I'm sorry, I reject the inquisitional tone." "Hal, if you ever wanted to do me a favor just play ball here." "What the hell is going on?" "You've been getting baked daily it would seem in full view of our neighbors." "But why the rage and hysteria?" "Why do you cry every day for the last 3 weeks?" " Ella, please." " Seriously, you guys must have..." "Oh, my God, it's all crashing down." "Guys, answer the question." "Fine." "At least daily." "Even more than that." "Whenever possible." " Where do you get it?" " Mm-mm." "You're telling us, Hal." "Not unless you want me changing schools." "A kid in your class?" "Yeah, would you rather I buy it on the streets?" "Would that make you feel better?" "It's pot, dad." "Ultimately less potent than the 4 glasses of wine you drink every night." "And I'm first in my class by miles what the fuck difference does it make?" "Don't disrespect your father." "Did you seriously just say disrespect?" "What is going on here?" "Anyone?" "Go ahead." "A tumor has been discovered on one of your mother's ovaries." "Oh, shit." "She is having a procedure this Friday." "They'll have her in the hospital for the night and in bed for a lot of the weekend." "So I think you can understand why the timing of this..." "So, um, I'm sorry, as in, uh, as in malignant?" "Jesus, Hal!" "Possibly, yes." "It's largely now, it's just a question of whether it's spread." "Look, guys, whatever happens, we're gonna deal." "[sniffles]" "I know." "Just stop smoking pot on the roof or anywhere." "We will." "You promise?" "I promise." "[Ella sniffles]" "You know this motherfucker think I'm crazy, right?" "Crazy is a tricky word, Joe." "You hear this shit?" "Been dealing with that since grade school." "Motherfucker twists every word that comes out of your mouth." "Okay, Shani." "Oh, fine-looking woman that Shani." " That's enough, Joe." " Fine habiliments too." "I said that's enough, Joe." "Oh, Shani don't mind being told she fine." "Got 'em kind of legs that don't stop." "Goodbye, Dr. Barnes." " Which one of you is Jeffrey?" " I am." " I told you explicitly..." " I know." "I know." "First of all, I would like you to meet Cedar Lemons." "And we truly appreciate you seeing us after what I know must have been an arduous day." "You lay that shit on, Jeffrey." "That woman was a patient." "I'm running a practice here." "We're truly sorry." "And there's no point to any of this unless Joe is on board." "Joe is on board." "I need to hear that from Joe." "On board, doctor." "I've heard that before." "Uh, just got to make things right." " Get my equilibrium." " Not in here, Joe." " Oh, come on, doctor." " Joe, listen to me." "Not in here." "There's a bathroom down the hall." "Where you goin', bitch?" "Wherever you go." "Like wine on rice." "And you don't disrespect me or Jeffrey or the doctor here, no more." "Shit's done." "You got that?" "Got it." "So he wants to shoot up and you allow that?" "I run a psychiatric office, not a precinct." "How do you know Joe?" "We grew up together." "You're paying for the muscle?" " His father." " I met him." "Difficult man, but obviously smart." "Joe's smarter." "Would be tough to argue that right at this moment." "You don't seem to like Joe much." "I love Joe." "I spent 4 years confronting the tragedy that is Joe." "Smart?" "Imagine what he could have been." "We get him across the street, I can keep him in until he signs himself out, which he will do." "You're gonna be there to pick him up?" "I'm leaving for Delaware." "[sighs]" "He'll be out of his mind with no money." "He has a history of theft." " I know." " And violence." "I'm not gonna follow him around and clearly you're not either." "I need to do this." "Not just across the street." "Inside." "Where he signs his name." "Just a second." "Just a second." " Joe." " Well, fuck you, man." "I'm just makin' sure I've got everything I need." "My wife and my children are expecting me at home." "I ain't stopping' you." "Familial bliss." "I get that shit." "I'm going inside." "See how that motherfucker treat me?" "Treatin' you straight." " What you know?" " I gotta be an expert?" "You gotta know something." "You wanna tell me what's what?" "Guy who got me clean was my uncle." "Never touched a needle in his life." " You saying you used?" " You hear what you want." "Unh-unh, Joe, not here in the streets." "You gotta put that away." "One pop." "Last one of my life." " Son of a bitch!" " That's right, you stay away." "Give me the rig." "I ain't goin' in that hospital till you get your ass out of here." "You hear me?" "I ain't going no place till this motherfucker extricate his hormone monster ass from this situation!" " Fine." " Wait, what?" "You paid me to get him to the doctor." "He paid you?" "Remune-fucking-ration?" "You think I done this on charity work, you junkie ass?" "Nice meeting you, Jeffrey." "Good luck." "[scoffs]" "Now it's just you and me, huh?" "Like the old days." "Down in the basement." "You need to put that away, man." "Just give me 2 minutes." "2 minutes." "What's going on now, Joe?" "Just thinking a little." "Maybe I'll go home." "You know, get truly ready to sort this shit out." "Then we meet here tomorrow, first thing." "Tabula rasa." "Maybe we should go inside as planned." "Otherwise you're a danger to yourself and others out here." "Wouldn't you say so, Jeffrey?" "I would." "No!" "No!" "What's going on?" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Let me go!" "Let me go!" "Jeffrey!" "No!" "No!" "I tell you it's against my consent." "It's against my consent, Jeffrey." "Jeffrey, please!" "Don't do this to me!" "Jeffrey, don't!" "Motherfuckers, no!" "It's against my will!" "Jeffrey..." "Oh, God!" "No!" "No, Jeffrey!" "Jeffrey!" "Don't, please." "Please!" "No!" "Please, Jeffrey, please." "Please, Jeffrey, please." "Don't do it!" "Don't." "Please, don't!" "Jeffrey, don't do..." "Don't do it!" "Please!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "[gasping]" "She trusted, right?" "And her trust got broken." "The loss of innocence?" "Where did you get that?" "Ms. Geller." "So, you're paying attention." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Go ahead." "Type it in." "She's asleep." "How many chapters did you read?" "3." "She's gonna want you here every night." "Say goodnight to your Aunt Meredith." "She's not my aunt." "It's an expression." " See you soon, Allie." " Night, Mere." "Have that done when I get back." "No texting or IM-ing or e-mailing or any other kind of pseudo-communication." "This was amazing." "They're amazing." "You made the right choice." " You think?" " Then why did you?" "The city had made me numb." " Yeah, I get that." " Don't patronize." " That's harsh." " You'd switch places?" "Conceptually in a second." "Especially after 2008, so let's not go there." "I don't believe my husband is in China." "What?" "When he called I heard a siren in the background it was definitely American." "Sarah..." "You forget I spent a year and a half in Beijing after B school." " I know of what I speak." " Did you say anything?" ""Where are you and with whom?" "Why do you spend so much time away?"" "No." "Just because you don't know..." " [scoffs]" " No, you're right." "I shouldn't have said anything." "Because why would he?" "You're right." "I can stay." "Europe will be humming at 5 a.m." "I know the drill." " I love you." " I love you." "[instrumental music]" "[Sarah sniffles]" "[music continues]" "Ray is a prick and a narc." "You're gonna tell me that superannuated hippie didn't smoke in his day?" "That he still doesn't?" "[sobbing]" "[Hal sighs]" "You know mom's right." "We're, uh..." "We're gonna deal." "I promise." "[music continues]" "So what did you say?" "Does it matter?" "Maybe I want to know how you lie." "Wow." "The usual?" " Thanks." " And you?" "Uh, coffee and lox platter, everything bagel." "Why wow?" "It's, it was just a strong statement, that's all." "What do you want from me, Sam?" "This." "Right now." " Like your bagel." " My bagel?" "Everything." "[instrumental music on speaker]" "Is there coffee?" "Oh, I thought you left." "I pushed my first meeting half an hour." "Not sure the girl will show anyway." "Who is she?" "Graduate student I was telling you about." "Brilliant, but troubled." "How?" "Not sure." "Inscrutable." "Eat out tonight?" "I'm hosting the seminar dinner." "I hate the thought of you walking home so late." "I'll be quiet coming in." "I might be up." "Yeah?" "[woman singing in foreign language]" "The first time I came to New York this is where my mum took us before anywhere else." "[chuckles] I was so pissed." "Why?" "Where did you want to go?" "Shops, noise, the huge buildings, theatres, streets." " Wha... whatever." " That doesn't sound like you." "Yeah, but then, when we got there, I was like" ""Oh, I get it."" "You'll have to tell her you went." ""Oh, that's so sweet, darling." "Who did you go with?"" "You don't have to tell her with whom." "Jesus, I'm having the life she never had the guts to." " A career." " Oh, bigger than that." "Like, she's never had a place of her own." "Imagine that." "From her parents, to college and then in with dad." "And of course, I have yet to live the only life she's known." "Well, would you want that?" "I..." "I am 33." "Friends of mine are having there kids in their 40s." "And they'll be in their 60s when their kids graduate college." "Not for me." "You need to know that." "You've made that clear." "It doesn't seem like it." "Okay." "We have 4 days together." "3 and a half." "We agreed that we..." "And now twice this morning..." "I'm sorry." "I'll do right by us." "[sighs]" "I just don't know what that means." "Can't that be good?" "Not knowing?" "[instrumental music]" "[indistinct chatter]" "It just seems so irrelevant." "Arguing interpretation with the other 12 people that have read the same text as you." "Millions would be more accurate." "Not these days." "Something must've kept you interested through a master's program." "You become accustomed." "To abject despair?" "To choosing a life that relates directly to very few but quite directly to everyone." "What if you're fooling yourself?" "That very question is what it's all about." "Fooling ourselves?" "At the heart of human interaction is the agreement that we're all going to fabricate." "Which is to say, agree on certain precepts we call truths but would be utter nonsense to anyone not in on the game." "Consider language." "We call an elephant an elephant with a certainty that will go so far as to marginalize even ostracize those who refuse." "Society depends zealously on this, so we can structure it." "In this case, communicate with one another even as each of us has his or her own disposition toward elephants." "Why should philosophy in any form be different?" "Because ultimately who really cares?" "Everyone, regardless of how few want to try to understand it, which is why I've spent my life gorgeously and so can you." "Why have you done this to yourself, Sophie?" "To know that I'm here." "May I ask how?" "Curling iron mostly." "If to be wounded is to exist you're giving yourself a pretty narrow endgame." "[sighs]" "Have you sought counseling?" "Been to health services?" "There is a woman that I've started to see, yeah." "Is she aware of this?" "You have to tell her." "Will you come with me?" "Well, you know Mr. Cohen already makes me paranoid enough." "But that's 2 hours from now." "Besides, he's harmless." "All you have to do is use the word dichotomy and he'll eat out of your hand." "I still don't know what that word means." "He actually misuses it." "Specifically it's the rhetorical contrasting of 2 opposing or divergent ideas, thus, the prefix dicho, 2 and then tomy, meaning to cut." "Make out with me." "Hal?" "Yeah?" "I think I'm ready." "This weekend my parents will be away." "Is this 'cause my mom has cancer?" "No, asshole." "It's because I want to." "So it's not a sympathy thing?" "If you ask me that one more time we're breaking up and you can keep fucking your hand." "Wow." "Friday might be tricky but I can just tell my parents I'm staying at Greg's." "I could spend a year like this, every day." "How do you fit it all into one life?" "Mmm." "You leave the world with things still to do." " That's tragic." " Tragic is becoming satisfied." " [sighs]" " Why didn't I meet you 20 years ago?" "Mmm, the Atlantic Ocean." "Child abuse." "Where's that one from?" "Malaysia." " This shape is incredible." " Mmm." "The lower and upper sepals are for protection." "This petal is the labellum and it's always the largest." "It lies flat like that to make it comfortable for pollinators." "All that beauty is... is just about making more of them." "Right." "Sam?" "You've got to be kidding me." " What is it?" " That's my daughter's teacher." "I'll take your picture." "And that's my daughter." "Come on." "[instrumental music]" "[indistinct chatter]" "Sophie?" "2 months." "What made you start?" "An accident." "With the iron?" "Cigarette." "Was it an accident?" "I guess not." "Go on." "I... it..." "It concentrated me to the exclusion of everything else." "And that was good?" "It was like a drug." "What's everything else?" "[sighs]" "The world has just become so inhuman." "Everyone's plugged in." "Blindingly inarticulate obsessed with money, their careers stupidly, arrogantly content." "I can't talk to them." "I fight them." "I wanna destroy them even." "I crave interaction." "I crave it." "But you just can't anymore." "They pull their devices out for every little thing to reinforce their petty, convenient notions." "To decide where they are going to shop what they're gonna eat, what movies they are gonna watch everything they ingest." "Why does that upset you?" "Because what is left, oh, my God." "But that doesn't have to be you." "Okay." "It's like this is all a game and I haven't been told what the rules are." "Or even worse, if I had" "I am ill-equipped to follow them." "All I can do is provoke." "I become spiteful." "I'm just as bad as they are." "They?" "I'm, I'm worse." "I fucking hate myself for it." "I'm, I am so fucking lonely." "Why is the world so base?" "Why is it so insensitive?" "Why is it so selfish?" "Why am I?" "[instrumental music]" "I am not for this world." "Fucking shit!" "You've been asleep a long time." "How long?" "From when they say you come in last night?" "14 hour." "Seriously?" "It ain't up to me." "But you could undo them, couldn't you?" "Extricate my ass?" "And lose my job?" "Where you going?" "Other patient." "I'm just hungry like a motherfucker." "We're gonna get you food, bring you water." "You got some crack I can smoke?" "I'm afraid not." "You know, just a little bit." "Fire that shit up." "Motherfucker!" "Motherfucker!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck it!" "We were just out of school living uptown." "We both had really lucrative job offers." "She was gonna maybe go to London." "Chose the Far East instead to be with me." "The next logical step was marriage and kids and we just did that, kind of without even discussing it." "2 hyper-educated young adults making the most significant decision in life without a single real conversation." "We talked about movies we saw more than the meaning of a future together." "I remember being, um what would the word be frozen when she was pregnant the first time." "I thought oh you know, something is definitely over." "And I never stopped to enjoy it." "But you like having kids." "I love having kids." "I get home, you know, usually too late for dinner." "She's... into her third drink and I have about an hour before the girls have to go to bed and I go into their rooms with a plate, and I-I don't leave." "Most of our interactions these days consist of algebra and whatever self-consciously multi-cultural book they're reading at the time." "As they get older, they get quieter." "The older one, Allie, she's, uh, she's getting belligerent." "Mmm." "Your wife drinks 'cause you're not really there." "Yeah, that's obviously part of that." "[sighs]" "Not exactly the raucous time we were thinking of, huh?" "[both chuckle]" "Honest." " That's ironic." " Mmm." "I don't wanna go home yet." "You have to, Sam." "Just one more day." "She's not expecting me yet." "One more day." "Are there friends you can speak to?" "Your father?" "Your brother, Hal, isn't it?" "What is this with me needing to talk to anyone?" "Just to know, others are concerned and care about you." "And you believe that?" "That people care about each other?" "We treat people the way we want to be treated." "It's just a compassion." "I don't consider myself compassionate." "I have no respect for my father because he is bossed around by my mother." "Now, I not only hate her but I resent her because it's interfering with my life." "All of this is natural." "And... pretty fucked up too." "You're young." "You don't want your life interrupted." "I love her so much." "Hello, Joe." "Fucking let me out of here." "In about 20 hours, you will be able to sign yourself out." "So let's skip the fucking hassle." "By law, I've got to hold you for 48 hours." "Hold a man that wasn't hurtin' nobody." "Come into his apartment uninvited chuck him in a hospital, strap him down." "If you could kill yourself right now, would you?" "[chuckles]" "Ain't gonna kill myself." "You'll be dead in a year." "You told me that last year." "Last year I gave you 2 years." "We're right on schedule." "Tell that nurse to bring me my dinner." " Not until I..." " I don't think you understand." "You are not here anymore." "[indistinct chatter]" "Is that what you were expecting, Mr. Clancy?" "It's opening up." "You want to try something else?" "I'm good." "Thanks." "Hello, Jeffrey." "You too?" " Where is Devlin?" " He's here." "The full team." "Care to join me?" "Think we can be nice to each other?" "I'm optimistic." " Excuse me." " His name's Jerry." "First name basis." " Hey, Jerry, this is Rachel." " Yeah." "I'm arguing against her in the morning." "Make sure she is hungover." "[Rachel chuckles]" "I'll just have a glass of that and see a menu." "Sure thing." " [cell phone ringing]" " Shit." "I have to make a phone call." "It'll be a second." "[dialing] [telephone rings]" "Yeah, who this?" "Hey, buddy, how you faring?" "How am I faring?" "What am I, on a motherfuckin' yacht?" " How are you, Joe?" " You fucking left town." "I had no choice." "You always got a choice." "Even I know that and I'm a motherfucking junkie." "A case I've been working on for 8 months." "So, that's more important than your friend that you just dumped in a detox?" "To a company with $700 million at stake, it is." "Oh, so that is supposed to belittle me, make me feel small." "What you workin' for Warren Fucking Buffet?" "Maybe you could've picked another day to fuckin' commit me." "Hasn't your dad been down?" "When I was asleep." " Well, he'll be back." " For what?" "Says he kept you afloat for the past 5 years." "And pay for 4 years at Amherst." "You think I haven't heard that?" "When you comin' back?" "Depends on how long the case lasts." "Hey, man, how much, uh, you make a year?" "I read in the newspapers, you motherfuckers can pull in 2 million plus if you're a partner at a big firm." "We are not discussing that." "Okay, so what are we going to discuss because you called my ass." " I have to go, Joe." " Why you hanging up so fast?" " I'm in a meeting." " Don't go, man." "I'll call you later." "[sighs]" "Don't forget." "You all I got." "I'll set my alarm to it." "I'll be waiting up." "Hey... hey, Joe?" "Yeah?" "I love you, man." "I've gotta go." "[instrumental music]" "So what was Ginsberg like?" "Fantastic" "No way... [indistinct chatter]" "When I decided..." "Fucking call me." "[breathing heavily]" "Fucking call me!" "[music continues]" "[cell phone vibrates]" "[grunts]" "Why didn't you wake me?" "You should get the kids up." "Alright." "Hal, it's 6:45." "[muffled]" "No, don't fuck with me this morning." "You know what's happening today." "I don't have the time or energy." "I'm gonna stay at Greg's tonight." "Pardon?" "Greg's." "He needs, uh..." "Are you aware that your mother is having surgery?" "Yes, I thought you'd want me out of the house." "No, you want to go to Greg's and get stoned 'cause it's harder to do that here now." " That's actually not the case." " We're gonna be together this weekend as a family." "That means while your mom and I are at the hospital you're home with Ella." "Okay." "That's all you had to say." "I just wish I hadn't." "[grunts]" "The best thing you can do for me is to ace that history test." "I got it postponed." "Ella, don't do that." "You could take it with your eyes closed." "Well, I'm not going to." "What are you going to do during that period?" "Talk with Mr. Werth." "Can't you talk with him during a free?" "I don't want to." "Why do you care?" "I'll take it next week." "I need to feel like your life is going on." "That it will go on." "I'd want it to stop for me." "You won't when you're a mom." "Yes, I will." "Just take the fucking test." "Honey, we should go." "Why do we always have to play stringed instruments?" "It's good for your brain." "So is math and science." "So is reading." "Presumably you're being taught those subjects as well." "They could teach them more and ditch the hours of violin every week." "Besides, she doesn't let us play any notes." "What do you do?" "Spend the first 3 months learning how to hold the stupid instrument." "You're joking." "It's totally fucking lame." "Watch your language." "And Mrs. Silver is nationally renowned." "As what?" "As a violin teacher." "And your school happens to have the top strings program in the country." "You know, families move to Englewood just to go there." "Is that why we moved to Englewood?" "No." "I mean, I did check out the school, but... [sighs] Don't you like New Jersey?" " I hate New Jersey." " I love it." "You're a moron." "I wanted change." "So dad could be gone half the time and you could get drunk every night?" "Holy shit." " Angie, get out of the car." " Why?" "Just get out of the car." "Go to Strings." "Don't you ever talk to me like that again especially in front of your little sister." "You might be a fucked up little monster, but she isn't." "Well, like you say, mom smart people, girls especially, are all fucked up." "You think I'm drinking too much?" "It's just wine mostly." "I think you're not happy." "Not happy in the city working." "Not happy in New Jersey not working." " I don't know what..." " Just don't drink anymore." "It's not that easy." " Try middle school." " Gladly." "Aren't there drugs you can take?" "I'm on to about every one you can imagine." "So are all the moms you can see." "Except maybe Marta, though she should be." "Real mature, mom." "That will probably be the highlight of my daylight hours." " I'm sorry." " No." "I am." "You should probably get going." "[car horn blaring]" "Jesus, fucking sharks." "[sighs]" " Gracie." " Good morning." "I need you to give me a hand." "Empty all these." "The ones with screw tops, you can pour down the sink." "The ones with corks, you can have." "No, I don't drink." "Oh, give 'em to your husband." "Trust me, he'll be happy." "Now." "[bottles clinking]" "Are you sure about these French ones?" "He always say..." "If he cared, he'd be here." "[indistinct chatter]" "Where the hell have you been?" "I'm on time, aren't I?" "For the meeting 2 hours ago?" " [chuckles]" " I'm sure you handled it fine." "I'm second fucking chair." "This is open and shut." "They should've settled." "All rise." "[cell phone ringing]" "Counselor, I really hope you're not going to use that in my courtroom." "Just turning it off, Your Honor." "Hello, you've reached Jeffrey." "Please leave your name, number and a detailed message and I'll get..." "Good morning, sunshine." "Speaking of which where's that paperwork I can sign myself out to see some motherfucking sunshine?" "What happened to a child like you?" "Meaning?" "Once you must was a good boy." "Done what him told." "How you gone so wrong?" "I was 14 in the basement of my best friend's house in Maryland me and him snuck a bottle of Sambuca down there finished it between us." "I ain't never looked back." "This ain't Sambuca." "Discovered the good stuff a lot later." "And your friend?" "Now he a fancy nigger lawyer who don't answer my calls." " Maybe him busy with him life." " Oh, yeah?" "You can't see you in charge of yourself you can't do nothin'." "Do you think I don't know that?" "So why you here in a bed got straps?" "But then, what do all these thinkers we've examined this semester have in common?" "If we truly explore to find a common thread?" "At the outset of a century that would constitute the bloodiest in human history." "Along with scientific and technological advancements that would literally make us like Gods." "Even as we began to dismantle the very meaning of God." "They ask what is a life?" "Does to live any longer have a how?" "Does it any longer have a why?" "[beeping]" "Against a backdrop of industrialization people will contend with alienation, dislocation population on a mass scale and murder on a mass scale." "They'll consider the constraints of truth." "Whether metaphor or paradigm with many concluding actual truth has never existed." "A nexus in the great human saga when we dared to trade the organizing bliss of good and evil, right and wrong as determined by a creator for other opiates." "Communism, socialism, capitalism, psychology technology, any learnable system to replace what had begun to evaporate." "The 20th century." "My own." "But also the one into which each of you was born." "For many, an era of hope liberation, possibility." "For others of abandonment and despair." "A most human century in which we begin really to understand that Nietzsche was right." "We are beautifully finally achingly alone." "[sighing]" "In this void, philosophy at its worst becomes self-reflective linguistic, semantic relativism having rendered any discussion of right and wrong, good and evil to be the quaint concerns of another age." "At its most provocative, it asks other questions." "Those concerned with locating our stranded selves when meaning seems to have died." "He's expecting your call." "So you gonna sign me out or what?" "Nothing less, in short, then why do we live at all?" "Call him." "Go there." "And what makes us who we are?" "They ask what now?" "And we're still asking it." "What will fortify us as another century your century commences?" "Do we abandon finally the search for truths that seem ever more elusive, even silly to some?" "The ethical?" "The moral?" "The good?" "Principles that by definition can never be proved when so much now can be proved?" "Or is all this finally and forever pointless?" "Are we done?" "We can destroy cities, alter the planet irreversibly speak instantaneously face-to-face from across the globe." "Create life where there was to be none even while intoxicating ourselves with it all." "And yet, how do we still seek purpose?" "And where do we hope to find it if we're so busy convincing ourselves there needn't be any?" "And so we wander eyes closed to the dark while technology, science, medicine and godlessness blaze illusions around us." "With less to guide us now than ever." "Seemingly omnipotent but more human and just as afraid." "These quandaries do not end with this course in a week from today." "They begin." "And I certainly haven't taught these writers for 30 years just so you can drop references to existential thinkers and their antecedents at dinner parties." "[all chuckling]" "The crowd is untruth." "In an era darkened by the false shade of imperviousness you and those who pause to question carry the light." "[music continues]" "It's been a wonderful 34 years." "Let's not be strangers." "Either to one another or more importantly to everything we've learned from one another." "May your best years be yet to come." "And so for us all." "[all applauding]" "[all cheering]" "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "Hey, what are you doing?" "That's my purse!" "He's taking my purse!" "Motherfucker!" "So I heard you gave quite the final lecture in the survey course." "Well attended anyway." "Students I hadn't seen in years." "[chuckles]" "I'm sorry I wasn't there." "This is me, so..." "You made a promise." " I know." " So?" "I..." "I..." "I can't." "I'll make me a willow cabin at your gate." "Who's that?" "Viola from "Twelfth Night."" "I said it to my wife 46 years ago when I proposed." "You're gonna be late getting back to her, so..." "And later still the longer we tarry." "I can just get another one." " I can use cigarettes." " A moment at a time." "Hmm..." "Sophie." "[sighs]" "Thank you." "You're worth it." "Where are you?" "I was with a student." "The one I told you about." "Should I wait up?" "If you can." " I won't be 10 minutes more." " Okay." "[indistinct]" "[sighs]" "[instrumental music]" "You're late tonight, sir." "In all the years of coming here" "I've never told you my name." "It's Walter." "It would make me so happy if you called me that." " Walter." " Ignacio." " Good evening." " Hey." "The allure of that never fades I'm happy to report." "[chuckling]" "A couple of bunches of hydrangeas?" "You got it." "[indistinct chattering]" "Gotta have milk, don't you?" "Drink milk all my life." "Maybe you drunk milk too." "Look like you've lived a good life." "I have actually." "What's the secret?" "You can't imagine how ironic it is that you're asking me that today." "Perhaps it's as simple as enjoying a glass of milk or buying flowers for your wife every Friday which I've done for as long as I can remember and which I shall do now." "Could you loan me 5 bucks?" "For?" "Gonna buy drugs, which I need... awful bad." "Hungry too." "I'm gonna give this to the man at the register and tell him you can have anything in the store one can eat up to $5 worth and that he is to keep the change." " Just like that?" " Just like that." "And if you ever see me around here" "I'll always do the same for you." "So long as I'm able." "[scoffs]" "Simplicity of the divine." " You've read Augustine?" " Not everything." "Don't worry, no one has." "And in translation too." "I'd be lying if I said I didn't need a moment to process where this conversation has suddenly veered." "Come on, man, just help me out, 50 cents, anything." "Thanks." "Yeah, you better walk away, motherfuckers!" "Yo, mister, let me get 50 cents, man." "I'll get you a cup of coffee." " I want 50 cent." " Sorry." "Maybe you should let these young ladies get to their dog." "You gonna tell me what to do in my neighborhood?" "I've lived here 25 years, but no, it's just a request." "Thanks." " Thank you." " Have a good night, Walter." "Goodnight, Ignacio." "Excuse me." "He bought that for you?" "That he did." "Anyone who ask, he always." "Buena suerta, ese." "Gonna need that too." " Hey, bud." " Hmm?" "You dropped somethin'." "[dramatic music]" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "[grunting]" "Help me!" "Help me!" " Yes?" " Help me, help me, please!" "Who is this?" "What's happening?" "I'm buzzing you in." "[screaming]" "Hey!" "No, you motherfucker." "[grunting]" "No, motherfucker, this ain't your fucking business!" "[grunting]" "You're doin' me a favor." "A favor?" "End this shit for good." "[music continues]" "Hal?" "Ella?" "Guys?" "You're back?" "Is it..." "Why didn't you call?" "Get Hal." "Can you at least tell me?" "No, not until you're both down here." "They think I'm gonna to be fine, honey." "It was just a big scare." "Oh, my God, oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "Ah, careful, honey." "Go get your brother." "That might be difficult." "Are you fucking kidding me?" "He's at Greg's getting stoned." "He's at Amy's." "He hopes losing his virginity." "Her parents are away for the weekend." "He said he did a risk assessment and the benefits outweighed the potential negatives." "Jesus Christ." "Honey, he can be in trouble in the morning." "Let's just be happy." "Pour me a glass of wine." "You're a lot more forgiving than I am." "[cell phone ringing]" "Mom?" "♪ If your clarinet should break ♪" "♪ Do not cry a million lakes ♪" "♪ Do not cry a million lakes ♪" "Okay." "♪ If the wind surrounds... ♪ [groans]" "♪ Do not turn and twist about ♪" "♪ Just wait it out ♪" "I love you, Hal." "I love you too." "♪ If your hand should lose its grip ♪" "I love you." "I love you." "I love you." "♪ Do not tremble do not sweat ♪" "♪ For where then would you get ♪" "♪ Where then would you get ♪ [both chuckle]" " I'm sorry." " It's okay." "♪ Where then would you get ♪♪" "[instrumental music] [indistinct chattering]" "A 6 centimeter vertical laceration in the mid epigastrium." " [cell phone ringing]" " Abrasions to the head." "You guys get service down here?" "There is an air shaft." "Give me a sec, will you?" "[indistinct chattering]" " Mom?" "Where is he?" " Oh, God." " Where is he..." " In intensive care." " He lost so much blood." " But do they say if he..." "I don't know." "I'm so afraid to ask." "Excuse me." " Do you mind?" " I-I'm sorry." "Are you the family of the man who, uh..." "Yeah." "I was just, uh, speaking with the police back at..." "In... in any case, your husband asked me to give you these." "What did he say to you?" "Just, uh, just to give you those flowers and that... that he never missed a Friday." "Anything else?" "I probably misheard." "Please." "Please." "Cabbages." "I'm planting cabbages." "[siren wailing]" "Oh, my God." "Perfect." "Thanks." "I'm sorry." "Mom?" "It's from Montaigne." ""I want death to find me" ""planting my cabbages..." ""...careless of death and still more... of my unfinished garden."" "[crying] [instrumental music]" "[cell phone ringing]" "Hello." "Hey." "Sam?" "Is that you?" "Yeah." "I, uh, I miss you." "I want to come home." "That's not gonna be so simple." "For either of us." "Forgetting that you're not even in China." " Sarah..." " Forgetting where you really are." "Probably the city for all I know." "I don't even care at this point which is terrifying in itself." "I'm not gonna be what I've turned into anymore." "Neither am I." "I don't believe you, Sam." "Anymore than you believe me." "Sarah, it's been a strange night." "It should go without saying that I don't really wanna know." "No, it's not like that, I'll..." "I'll explain it when we uh..." "I don't want to see you right now, Sam." "You wanna come home?" "Let's discuss it when you were supposed to come back from China." "Okay." "And start thinking if this is where you really wanna be." "[music continues]" "[coughing]" "The issue is more what the loss of blood did to his brain function in addition to the trauma of being stabbed." "We can keep his heart beating, but..." "Is-is my mother-in-law aware of this?" "She certainly not leaving his side." "Alright." "I'm gonna go in there." "Can I, dad?" "Sure." "Well, at least he's not in any pain." "[beeping] [instrumental music]"