"Oh my God, Based God messaged me." "Lil B?" "You think it's really him?" "d Trolling" "Stop." "I thought you like that." "I got something for you." "Get off." "I have work in the morning." "God stop." "Just go away." "Do you actually want me to leave?" "I can exit the building." "I'm just wondering how seriously I should take your unconscious demands." "No." "Shut the fuck up, I'm tryin' to sleep." "Yeah well you just hit me." "What?" "I don't know what I'm supposed to do." "I'm just tryin' to cuddle with you and you're treating me like some sort of rapey home invader." " I don't even know what you're talking about." "Were you abused as a child or something 'cause you're just always acting so aggressive." "I don't know if that's repressed anger towards me or something but it's just." "No." "Do you want some water?" "No." "I got you some anyway." "Hydration is important." "You wanna watch Shark Tank?" "You don't even care." "You know how stressful my job is." "You've expressed that." "Daily." "See you don't even get it." "It's not particularly complicated." " If I was in the hospital I honestly don't even think you would come visit me." "Why do you say that?" "I'd be there and I'd have one of those bear shaped balloons and I'd be crying." " You don't even trust me you won't even come inside me." "We can talk about that." "It's been three fucking years." "Why am I even on the pill?" "Risk management I guess you know." "Just not leaving an opportunity for something to happen." "I've just left myself exposed too many times." "So you don't trust me?" "No I mean I do." "I'm sorry I love you." "Knock 'em dead today." "See ya later" "Alright see ya." "Yo man hold up." "Lookin' sharp Mr. Worthington." "You know it dog." " How those stock tips workin' out for you homie?" "Well company just filed for bankruptcy." "Ain't no thing." "It's all a numbers game remember that." "That's real." "d Trey the great d never pump takes d I just dump weight d In a bunch of places d 'Cause I got the best rates d Fuck with us mane d A bomb zip of crys for one six" "d You'll make your money back d In one flip, you dumb bitch d You'll get rich." "d To the frigid feral child d I impart touch d I use a hand crank d I make your heart pump d Make mobility wheelchair d Obese in Wal-Mart d Jump" "I mean I love her and everything but next year when we're on tour in Europe and I'm surrounded by Anna Kournikova look a likes," "I might have to smash just once." " I don't know you got a good thing going man in my opinion." "Yeah but with you, if you see a bad bitch walking down the street, you could just link her with somebody you've already been with." "Yeah more or less but fashion trends tend to shift on a fairly annual basis." " If I see a hot Asian girl with green hair walking down the street or a Jewish girl with a fat ass, it kills me that I actually haven't been there." "I'm just making shit up." "Yeah I mean I guess we're both dating what's quote on quote a basic bitch but what you have to remember Trey is those Coach bags and outfits from Anthropologie signify a greater white privilege that can help send our kids to the right college." " Or you can just give them the sense of entitlement that they need to succeed." "Yeah rich white people tell their kids not to view the doctor as an authority figure but as a sounding board for their independent concerns." "CEO in training." "Well yeah at least kids have the internet these days growing up." "Maybe that'll give them some sort of perspective." "Yeah I wish I had that a little earlier." "Then maybe I would of masturbated with lube prior to the age of 24." " You're still masturbating on the internet though." " Yeah Yahoo answers I feel wasn't really a thing before '07." "But by then I already had my technique down." "I feel you." "Yeah it's like we're doomed but if we ignore the haters and fucking impregnate these girls we'll be set you know?" "If I put my seed in that, the kid will stagnate in a mother fucking community garden." "None of that with Monica." "You see things brah." " Basic bitches have the support system to win in the end." "That's beautiful man." "You know I'm here right." "And I'm gonna be a voice for the women you're abusing." "Maybe no one's ever said that to you before but I'm not just gonna stand around and let you fuckin' spout your self congratulatory bull shit in my community." "Feminism." "Yeah but if you're a white feminist, you're just gonna take the liberties you've been given, merge them with your white privilege patriarchal, super structure, plug yourself in as an affiliate of that machine and leave us minorities out to dry!" "That's fucked up." "Oh for real." "Wait what are you talking about?" "I totally give you the white privilege." "Well my friend Sarah could use some." "She needs a sublet." "This is private property." "That was a very bay area experience." "A lot of progressive ideas floating in a sea of repressed anger." "Oh hey did you go to CCA?" "No what's that?" "Oh it's an art school." "People always say that." "That specifically?" "No." "Who are you?" "I am Richard Nullman of The Grid Gang." " You're the one who sent me those messages?" "Precisely." "I've summoned you here because we need a little new blood on the trolling scene." "Lately it's become infected by posers from the steampunk community." " Are they posing as trolls or steam punks?" "Don't even get me started." "Those fucking little cancers are fucking themselves." "So we'll see how much cred they have." "When we've deleted their pathetic little Etsy stores." "Oh yes they'll be punished for their insolence believe you me." "Wait what?" "The point is that we need fresh blood on the trolling scene." "We need people like you." "I saw the way you tracked that girl and you're good but you could be much better." "With the right training of course." "You see I'm something of a team builder." "You could say that I'm a water elemental." "But you, you're lava and together brother, we're gonna burn shit down." "Welcome to my home." "I call it the Null lair." "No this is a nice place man." "Do you mind me asking how much you pay for it?" " Well it's 5,200 a month but I share it with my two lovers so then it's only 1730 per person." "You pay that much for a two bedroom?" " How long have you been in San Francisco again?" "I was actually originally born here my" "Grid Gang!" "Hi I'm Derek and this is Stephanie." "I'm Odyn." "Richard who is he?" "We weren't really informed you were coming." "Coming?" "I think you both knew this was coming." "Don't tell me you haven't seen the writing on the wall." "We've all been getting a little too comfortable." "We need someone to come in and shake things up a bit." "He's from Oakland." "Oh yeah!" "I'm turnin' shit up." "I'm turnin' shit up!" "I think I like him!" "d Trolling" "This is The Grid Gang manifesto Odyn." "Wikipedia says that a troll is someone who posts deliberately off topic, misleading, or inflammatory messages in an online community such as a discussion forum, chat room, or even a blog." "But in reality what we do is so much more than that." "We need to wake people up." "Civilization has tried very hard to coddle us with its support systems and it's agriculture" "and as beautiful as this world is, it's also too easy." "Society is like an overprotective mother." "Pampering us and making us weak." "We are here to rip those support systems away." "You may not fear the beast but you shall fear me because I troll" "and I troll because I love you." "Welcome to The Grid Gang Odyn." "Now let's see what you've got." " One minute the whole world is gonna think that Iggy Azalea has been charged with tax evasion." "Well done my pet." "d The Starlight is in my eyes d I won't tell if you touch me baby" "Yeah just say it sucks." "Tell him he sucks." "Tell him that he fucks his mother." "Troll him." " And his sister, and his sister both of them." " And you should feel bad about it." "This song was from my heart." " And this response is from my diznick." "I knew you were trolling me." "Nice bear." "Yeah so." " What's with that bear anyway are you guys friends?" "Or are you lovers?" "I was talking to that bear and he told me he didn't like you very much." "Yeah we don't like you we" "Just shut up!" "I know you" "Shut up!" "What do you need to do with that gun?" "Are you a man?" "Gonna show you." "What are you gonna do?" "You gonna me feel bad?" "Yeah." " You gonna make me wish I never picked on you?" "You got a plan big man?" "You wanna make history?" "Classic Grid Gang maneuver." "d Trolling" " It's mostly oat, banana, and chocolate chip so it's completely gluten free flour free." " Wow so the bananas work like an adhesive?" "Yeah it's good you should, here." "You know I bring it to work 'cause it's a good snack and it doesn't make everyone all brain dead." "Yeah some co workers of mine brought these Safeway danishes and I swear I can imagine my manager's man boobs just chafing from all the flour." "I mean it's a fun office snack but I mean it's like we're all mutating." "We're all infected!" "Wait well that' honestly a problem." "Oh they're ready." " Curses it appears my Bechdel test was no match for them." "Hello." "These are good." " You know I got the recipe from Bill Cosby." " Yeah the secret ingredient's a vial of his semen." " You know you could've discussed that with us." "We're pretty open minded." " As long as I don't have to see your dick we're good." " We want you face down buried in my dog's crotch." "You won't see anything." "You know another accuser came forward today." " Yeah I don't really trust those third tier accusers." "They're a little late to the party." "Oh shut up Odyn." "That's just my opinion." " Where did you get this weed from?" "Odyn knows a delivery guy and he doesn't card but he's legit." "Can you text me his number?" "Yeah right now." " You know we should all go on the Steve Wilkos show, do a little love triangle thing?" "I would not agree to that." "I mean it would be funny." "You know we need to jump start a career somehow Trey." "I understand Odyn I realize that you wanna be recognized for your talents baby." "Yeah my mom just thinks," "Being a security guard, is a good job, she doesn't really care if I stagnate." "You know she paid for my training so she's like oh good a mediocre security guard's my son." "But you know it led to me meeting Trey." "You know what else?" "We gonna do it brah." " No doubt." " Well there's something that Monica and I" "have been wanting to tell you and it has to do with this." "I talked to my mom about you guys and I played her your shit." "You know she's on the art council and she approves funds for after school programs and we were talking about allocating some funds for music education in the Oakland area." "And then Monica's non-profit organization got involved." "And your names just came up." "Yeah well your names were always there but we want you to be happy and follow your dreams." "So everything's just in place." "You guys are gonna be teaching under privileged kids how to rap and drop sick beats full time, fuck security." "27 bucks an hour." "And you'll have full studio access." "I love you so much." "You're the best." "We almost forgot your name tags." "Makin' it official." "d Trolling" "Yeah it's a original composition." "Whatever you wanna call it." "It's mine, it's mine I wrote it." "Please we'd love to hear it." "This how I been feelin." "d White bitches I got 'em d She kissing' on my dick d And it's hittin' her tonsils d She's spittin out this thick liquid d That when she blinks it leaves splotches d Of my cum now that bitch want more so" "d She drinks my jizz out a goblet" "Oh that's hot." "I ain't gonna lie I'm finna write that." "Next time finish the rhyme yourself." "You don't wanna deal with ghost writers." "Leeching on your back." "Your mind is a temple Jermaine." "That's true." "d I dress like duh d But I've been doin' this shit since I had waves d The more you do for you my nigga d The less you gotta say d But niggas catching' charges d Somethin' that they takin' charges" "d You either target on the auction d Best keep your guard up d Hey ho what's good tonight d I pull out like it's valet parking d Yo MCM gonna tear the club d Just bought bottles bitch" "d I don't need attention d But I take the compliment d Major forms of payment d No refunds because it's spent d Chillin' killin' why d Chillin' killin ya d I don't need all of these niggas in my bennie" "d Get this money on the low end" "Not so fast hooligans." "We're shutting this program down." "We have a court order." "We're shutting' you down." "My name is Augustus Turnblatt." "Council President of the 14th district." "And I'm shutting this program down." "Under section c47-3 of the hate crimes statute." "Promotion of anti white sentiment." "We've been intercepting your MP3 transmissions and every line of this so called children's music contains slurs against white women." "That part about my 17 year old daughter performing fellatio and being trafficked for your negro cocaine parties was particularly egregious." "I'd offer you all a copy of the bible if I thought you could read it." "But instead here's a little suggestion." "Get a job." " These kids are just expressing themselves you racist fuck." "This isn't the 1960s you asshole." "You better watch what you say." "Trey!" "I can't breathe." "Fuck you punk." "Hey hey arrest him!" "Ain't like it's the first time." "Actin' like I ain't been arrested before." "This is your third offense Jermaine." "Looks like you're going to become a full time employee of the Alameda County prison system." "Take him away!" "Shut your fat ass up!" "Let's go, let's go!" " He just trampled over those fucking kids." "It might as well of been the Watts riots with hoses man." "It was fucked up." " Cultural warfare fuels the internal narcissistic supply of all conservative politicians." "I wouldn't take it personally gentlemen." "But don't worry the Nullman is down to help," "I got you." "Thank God." " Now let's see what dirt I can dig up on our dear friend." "Councilor Turnblatt." "What the fuck is that?" " What you can't handle a little ironic racism?" "I'm not actually racist." "I just pretend to be so I can assert my superiority over the people who aren't intelligent enough" "to be in on the joke." "This is why I only hang out with other trolls." "I'll be in my room." " I'm just still kind of analyzing him myself." " Well I'm gonna take three of his nugs of weed and I'm gonna go home and fuck my girlfriend." "I don't blame you." " Odyn do yourself a favor and call Kendra." "I texted her this morning." "Whatever man." "Whoops." "He never calls if he's coming home late." "If I text him and say my back hurts, he'll just say I'm sorry baby." "I don't even expect him to come home at this point." "I don't know why you put up with it." "I mean you're beautiful, sophisticated, and have more motivation and strength than anybody else at the office." " I told you already that's not what this is Aaron." "I know." "And I'm sorry." "You and I are very different Odyn." "We come from different backgrounds, different worlds." "Your being was forged in the blighted heart of the urban jungle." "My dad was a realtor." " But I, I was born in the suburbs but I was reborn here." "Welcome to my world." "Oh cool what do you usually do here?" "Do?" "What do I do?" "I can do anything I want." "Can't you see this place is a paradise?" "It usually heats up around nine, 9:30." "Surprise." "I didn't know you were coming Richard." " Yeah I thought you said this night was too political." "Well excuse me." "When I drink absinthe I just can't help but feel like all of you are forging alliances against me so don't throw that back in my face." "How many times have I carpooled you guys to erotic fan fiction night at The Booksmith huh?" " Oh yeah tonight they're doin' Doctor Who." " Great looks like Nullman is on the hook again." "Calm down Richard." "Don't you fucking tell me to calm down." "You don't belong here." "Hi I'm Odyn." " Can you guys believe this fucking sacrilege over here?" " I think we're having a very good time Richard." "Oh yeah and another thing," "I saw you on Facebook wearing my handcrafted Victorian augmented reality helmet." "You know what it's waiting for you whenever you pick up your God damn phone." "Classic Nullman." "When are you gonna grow up?" "Know what." "Fuck you guys." "I created this scene and you guys are killing it." "You're killing yourselves." "And pretty soon poor old Richard Nullman isn't gonna be here to sop up the blood alright." "'Cause I'm about to embark on my most epic troll ever." "You wanna hear about it?" "Well too bad." "You don't deserve to hear about it." "Come on Odyn we're leaving fuck these posers." "It was nice to meet you all." "Farewell gentle traveler." "What the fuck was that back there?" "Forget about those posers Odyn." "Got work to do." "After all you're in The Grid Gang now." " I thought I was already in The Grid Gang." "Almost." "You're only a probationary member." "But tonight was a test and you passed." "So what happens now?" "Now a challenge." "Our good friend Councilor Turnblatt ruined your after school program." "What next?" "Do we stick his bulbous nose into cyber security?" "Turnblatt." "Within a gang, is a final initiation." "If you wanna run the grid, you've got to beat the master." "I understand." " The first one of us to get Councilor Turnblatt to resign from his post using their mad trolling skills wins." "The loser pays for our matching Grid Gang tattoos." "You know I don't know if I actually want anything visible, I'm trying to get into acting at some point if" "Are you with me?" "Grid Gang!" " Okay hello, how are you, good to see you." "d Trolling" " We as a nation must stand up and take accountability." "Far too many women are being impregnated by their landlords in a forced act and are unable to forge a union because of their liberated mind sets and their dreams of meeting Mr. Right." "Therefore I have proposed a bill, legalizing rape and authorizing men to own women as property." "Which is their God given right." "LOL owned by The Grid Gang." "Can't you see it's not me." "It's them!" "It's the trolls!" "The trolls!" "Misogynist" "I can't let myself be upstaged by a pathetic little newfag like Odyn." "I think it's time that I pulled out all the stops." "d Trolling" "Okay, okay come on, come on, you can walk." "Come on you can feel 'em." "I can feel 'em, you can feel 'em." "Come on get up, get up." "Come on man." "Look he's gonna be okay." "Look come on, come on." "I'm callin' an ambulance." "No you don't need to do that." "Look, look, look, look, look." "Everything's gonna be alright." "Okay?" "Look a little fellow named Andrew Jackson told me so." "Here go get yourself some malt liquor honey come on." "Come on, come on." "We're not gonna settle." "No we, we are, we've already settled." "Come on, you're gonna be okay." "Come on, come on get up." "Don't need an ambulance." "Councilor Turnblatt." "What exactly is going on here?" "Nothing is going on." "Don't worry about it." "Everything is fine." "Everything is alright." "Just forget about it okay?" "No it's not gonna be alright." "Yes!" "Yes you meet me at Jamba Juice correct?" "You buy me mango drink?" "Whatever you say Ling San." "I'm horny where are you?" "Dammit where are you?" "Alright, alright Turnblatt." "We got you this time." "Read 'em and weep Nullman." "I win." "Yeah you're good." "I guess." "Ow." "Hey make sure you use more cross hatching on mine." "That's not how you designed it bro." "You know what?" "I don't think I like your tone madam." "Come on Odyn let's go." "This would be better as a stick and poke." "That tattoo artist was a fucking poser." "This should've been a scarification anyway." "Yeah." "Hey you might wanna do that at home." "You know when you're in front of a mirror." "I mean just a suggestion." "You make an excellent point my friend." "You know Odyn," "I think the two of us need a little bit of time apart." "I gotta go home and deal with some life shit." "You know what I mean?" "I think I do." "But I want us to meet next weekend and we can begin our most top secret and epic troll ever are you with me?" "Grid Gang for life." "Good boy." "Stop." " Oh well if the vegan whoopie pie is so sinful, no one shall have to intake its poison." "You're embarrassing me." "I mean I just spent $87 on groceries." "I didn't even conceal it." "So if someone was gonna say sir you didn't pay for that," "I'd be like oh sorry good sir." "I was just thinking about jacking off and so let me pay you the money and nothing would happen." "It's just sleazy." " I just don't understand how that's wrong." "There's a certain shrinkage ratio in the marketplace of commodities and I actually added profit to the store by purchasing a lot of groceries." "So what is the thing I fucked up?" "Is Jesus gonna come down and punish me?" "Is there some objective moral imperative that I'm not aware of?" "I mean how is it wrong exactly?" "Can you explain that to me?" "If you're gonna do it, just don't do it around me." "I don't wanna be a fuckin' part of it." "Okay I mean that's fair." "I understand." "I respect that." "I don't know if you remember but three and a half months ago, you thought it was funny and we actually bonded from when you stole maxi pads at Walgreens." "So yeah." " Look I don't wanna be a part of it anymore." "Well I guess you can pay for your meal and you can tell them that I stole mine because I'm a terrible person." "Nullman had no doubt been spying on my computer." "So I guess I gave him what he wanted to see or why he initially chose me." "While Kendra was at work I'd often make good use of her house key." "As she did God knows what." "I could never masturbate to porn." "I got off from copy and pasting the sketchiest ads on Craigslist and routing the responses to my inbox." "But when you steal a random perverts aspiring sex worker applicants, you become that pervert but employment itself is perverted." "I don't fucking care." "Your rappers and people in the music industry and executives and they all sort of have a company party," "I mean yeah you would have to, you'd just sorta be there for whatever they need." "You might have to suck a little dick, just hook up with some of them or just ride in their limo." "A thot?" "Yeah." "Yeah but I mean I'm not a thot." " I'm not like the abolitionist of that concept that can free you from that because your trapped in that eternally so you know, you know enjoy life in that shackle." "So that's all I'm saying." " Shackles yeah I guess they're kind of like shackles." " But you'll still be monitored to a certain degree." "There's a quota to fill." "Yeah I can give oral sex on camera." " You want me to tell you about the movie or not?" " You're talking about girls and Asperger's." "Okay tell me about your film." "You were telling me about" "You're wasting my time." "Where you grew up and you're just saying this personal shit to me." "Well you asked me." "I'm just trying to talk to you." "Okay go ahead." " Real conversation, real characters, real sex and just allowing the sexuality, psycho sexual part to be represented but it is a narrative movie." "But isn't that an underlining theme." "The sexuality why is that so much in the forefront?" "It's more just about the characters experiencing things in a real way." "What your talkin' about, it's like a genre, it's trying to break down genre in a way." "In a sense" "Documentary, sci-fi, shamanistic sexual theme." "Yeah." "No kissing." "Yeah so we'll submit the footage to the other producers and hopefully you'll hear from us." "Right." "Kendra." "I got you the meatless chicken." "Come tell me more." "This is an extremely pertinent issue that needs a lot of dissection." "Can you feed me them?" "This is good." "Yeah." "This is a bad show." " Yeah it is but it's tryin' to try new things." "Oh yeah." "Whose scarf is this?" "I don't know." "I don't own any scarves." "Pretty sure aware of that." "Okay." " The whole building is aware that we're coming and I think everything's gonna be good." "Good, good, good, good." "Because I had to laminate these over the weekend and my friggin' back is killin' me." " Did you physically laminate them yourself?" "Stop bustin' my balls alright?" "You two assholes are lucky I brought you back." "You know neither of you were my first choice." "I guess that would explain the pay cut." " Why don't you carpool if you don't like it?" "Share a packed lunch." "Be creative." "I've got to go and get the old lady some tampons, try not to embarrass me." "Okay?" "Damn things I have to put up with these stupid assholes." " Okay good he's gone let's go for a second." "Are you trippin'?" "It's our first day back dog." "I need this." "Come on be a man." "It'll only take a second." "So I went in one of those texting apps that gives a fake number to whoever you send it too and I hit up Kendra pretending" "I was a guy she met at a bar a couple months ago." "And guess who's at a cafe right now I guess, happily down for whatever." "Who?" "Kendra." "Well I don't really blame her." "You're leaving her dick deprived." "It's the principle Trey." "Fuck it I'm goin' there right now." "Really are you sure?" "If I'm not back in five minutes." "You can have my half of the album fund." "You the guy from the Craigslist post?" " Yeah definitely she's the red head in there." "You ready to do this?" "Definitely." "Alright here's the 20." "Oh hey Kendra." "Oh hey Paul." "Yeah." "I guess it's been awhile." "You were drunk." "Yeah you look good." "Wish I could say the same." "What?" "Yeah you're skin's bad." "You look kinda cracked out." "Even a little jowly honestly." "Have you had work done?" "Were you like fat and lost weight or something?" "You got ugly somehow." "Not totally comfortable." "That's just what I'm trying to say." "Wow he's doing great he's on script." "Okay cool." "Fuck." " Wait Kendra stop I need to tell you something." "What?" "We never actually met." "I don't even know you this is all an act." "There's these sociopathic forces trying to take you down." "I know this guy his name is" "Sorry man break time's over." "And I mean that in the larger sense." "So get to the next level okay?" "That's what I'm sayin'." "Like it a lot." " Okay let's even just start by wearing our name tags." "What are you robbin' banks now?" "It's complicated." "I don't really wanna talk about it." "Hey, hey, hey break it up!" "Hey asshole no, get the fuck." "We can call you an ambulance I guess." "No it's okay." "Hey you guys interested?" "In what exactly?" "Bein' my pimp." "No we have jobs." "Alright." "I guess you gotta do what you gotta do." "You should come to our show though." "That's cute you guys rap?" "Yeah this is actually gonna be the first show doing some material from our mix tape." "We're the Trapaholics." "Alright, alright." "You're not Lil B." "I'm his agent." "Oh." "Wanna smoke some weed?" "Cool." " You goin' to a Sick Sad World next month." "Yeah Yung Lean's gonna be there." "Hopefully we can smoke with him." " I once saw Andy Milonakis at Subway at three Am he was ordering an Italian BMT." "He was surprisingly humble." "So do you wanna chill again?" "Yeah sure." "Lil B fired me though." "Obviously." "Alright then." "Hit me up." " Well I guess I saw odyn as this kind of invalid ghost of a person." "He had this kind of wounded femininity which" "I associate with weakness." "Made me wanna dominate him." "Hello?" "Hey Odyn this is a bit of a hectic time in the Nullman household." "I'm going through a bit of a breakup." " You know what I paid for your vaginal rejuvenation." "Uh oh." "I'm sorry man." "No I'm fine." "It's just Derek and Stephanie breaking up with each other so." "Oh." " Yeah it's creating a lot of boundary issues." "Richard come out let me play with him." "Yeah Richard come out but play with me." "Yeah." "They both wanna guilt fuck me and I don't know who to choose." "Why don't you just masturbate on both of them." "You know that's brilliant in a way." "But I just need some time to process all this." "So I'll let you know how it goes okay." "Okay bye." "I told you man we 'bout to blow up." "I'm talkin' viral marketing." "What the fuck you mean marketing?" "We need that money for studio time." "No man I got this." "Check it." "I've been on this dating site making fake profiles of dudes just to see if Kendra would cheat on me." "Any bites?" "The jury's still out." "But then I started making fake profiles as a girl." "Wait your fishing for dicks now?" " I'm tryin' to open up the doors of perception." "What's life like on the other side?" "That's real." "She could be a five, a seven." "Even wheelchair bound." "These profiles are getting 50 to 90 messages a day." "Even more checking the page." "Every fucking inane thing I say to these guys they latch on to like it cures AIDS." "Niggas is thirsty out there." "And soon these sad little simps gonna be drinkin' from our cup brah brah." "Do tell?" " Each mommy's profile has a favorite band section." "These imaginary mystery dates are hyping' our shit 24/7 for free." "The effect should be sudden." "Got this I love you man." "Let's do this we got this." "Yeah." "Let's just bumrush it man." "Just do it." "Okay." "Oakland you ready?" "d Sermons for deformed kids d It's ill d Indentured servants in my brick kiln d Got the AKs when shit gets real d AKA this shit's a hit song d Then Basedgod let me in the bitch mob" "d Then I came back Eljen was pissed off d So we back jacked up, hassling the trap d With a rack extracted from some fool we just robbed d And that's wrong that's not progress d Black face lawn hedge" "d Fake ass bomb threats d Actionless promises d Talk as empty as your wallet is d And your product may not be all garbage d And to be honest I wouldn't feel comfy d In a plane that you're in the cockpit" "d Bop to this rasta I bought a shotgun in a meth lab d From a guy with crocs on shot all his watch dogs" "Bull shit, this shit is wack" "Fuck you Trapaholics." "Where are the women?" "It's a fucking set up." " I used my last Viagra pill for this shit." "I'm fucking pissed." "d I laugh at the bible d I've read every chapter d Benevolent master with eloquent facets d And elephant foot print d I'm smashing a pastor d Shockin' and accurate d Packin a hatchet d My hoes are all flavors" "d Vanilla, molasses d I'm Tetsuo Iron Man d Melting in shrapnel d I'm riding a rental d My friend they can help you d Watch in my rear view d And no I don't hear you." "d Feinds on the blocks d Always asking for previews d I hang in the VIP then get brain in the whip d I know who you hang with d Your gang is the shit d Blazin' your pistols you aim and you miss" "Oh they trapping'." "d Lick on my dick d I got mad blow d Wake up you're a tad slow d 'Cause I'm rad yo d Even though your cousins like this shit's d a fad though" "Okay yeah okay we love y'all." "I know it's kind of a small show but it's some intimate energy." "And the intimate energy is good for y'all so what'd you like about it?" "Nothing." "What do you want." " Women, it's why we're here." "That's weird." "Okay yeah so" "This is a fucking set up." "This is a set up?" "This is a fuckin' set up." "Oh yeah it is." "Air your grievances right now." "Where are the women?" "Energy's a little negative here so I'm just tryin' to raise the vibe okay" "I'm tryin to elevate your minds." "I'm tryin' to open it up." "I'm tryin' to open y'all to a new perspective." "Trapaholics." "Trapa." "Trapa?" "Holics." "Strapped and trapping'." "Always." "Trapa?" "Fuck you." "That was whack." " Fuck you too 'cause we don't give a fuck." "We don't give a fuck because we trolled your ass and yall already paid for this shit." "d Trolling." "There's no pussy." "No one would wanna fuck your wrinkled cocks." "They don't want to fuck y'all but we wanna rap for y'all and y'all already paid." "So might as well." "Trappa." "Put that down, put that down." "Hey guys." "Nadine we can't thank you enough." "No problem." "You saved our asses." "You know what I got paid." "Awesome." "And you did it all by yourself right." "Yeah." "That's what's up." "Yeah you guys want some of this cash?" "Or you wanna come work for me?" " Nadine we honestly can't thank you enough for everything you've done but you know it's just not for us." "Kay." "No problem you guys want some of this coke?" "I'm down." "Officers!" "Alright caught red handed assholes." "On the floor before I start to feel threatened for my life." "Fuckin' pigs I can't wait 'til we tear down your corrupt fucking regime." "d Trolling" "Black lives matter." " It's weird that, that crazy black guy that killed the NY cops picked Asian and Latino officers." "Isn't that kind of missing the point?" "On the floor now." "Put your weapon down hands off that woman." "That's not even occurring." "I'm gonna enjoy this." "Officer I beg your leniency." "These punks are of professional interest to me." "I'm a talent agent just let 'em go this once and I will make it worth your while man." "I've always wanted to do commercials." "To be quite honest, it's kind of brutal once you turn 30." "What?" "Hold the phone hey I got some photos of pop star Ariana Grande man." "Who knows what she'll do so these photos won't get leaked." "Oh boy." " Check this shit this is what I'm sayin' man." "Fellas, fellas, fellas." "Thank you, thank you." "No worries you guys are great man." "But I was a little peeved about the 18 year old punk girl from the internet dating site." "Who's just a viral non-existing marketing campaign man." "The shit you said turned me the fuck on man." "It turned me on man." "You should put that shit in your fuckin' rhymes dog." "You should put that shit in your rhyme." "Were amenable our style's just a facade that could ride on the back of any corporation no doubt." "That's the flexibility and the marketing moxie that I'm talkin' about." "We can rebrand you, shop you around." "You two could be the future of hip hop man." "Yes." "Okay." "Yes." "It's my trademark man." "So we'll meet tomorrow and talk all about it." "Okay." "Now If you gentlemen will excuse me," "I got a $36 blow job with my name on it." "Get the fuck away from me." "Green tea for the worker bees." "And now you're violating my boundaries." "Relationships are hard Odyn." " Yeah man I mean when it comes down to it, it's like we both think about them as pin cushions for our internal shit you know?" "This discussion's getting a little too florid for my taste." "Let's keep our mind on the troll shall we?" "Kay." "When these documents get published it's gonna take down the whole fucking government." "Zoning laws are a fucking fallacy and the people are gonna know that." "Soon enough." "Turnblatt was Watergate." "This is Iran contra." "So that you mean no one's gonna know what happened and then the government just gets away with it?" "Shut the fuck up man." "Can't you see that this is huge?" " So we just release these documents tomorrow?" "Precisely Odyn." "Precisely." "Any other details to discuss?" "No not really." " I'll actually man the keyboards in that case." "Yeah be my guest." "This girl I'm actually fucking her right now." "She's pretty hot right?" "So you finally got her?" "Yeah, same girl that I was tryin' to pick up when I met you." "Oh do I hear a thank you perhaps?" "What?" " I mean you got her using your Grid Gang skills." "The skills I taught you." " You know the type of trolling I used to get her," "I've been doing since I was 18." "You do all this high level shit but I basically have a sexual problem" "that's essentially how I meet women." "But your philosophy on how social discord was an evolutionary tool stopped me from feeling bad about what I was already doing." "I ended up getting a lot more pussy when I thought about it as a prank" "As a troll." "So yeah thank you for removing my conscience." "Of course Odyn." "But I still don't feel adequately compensated." "What?" "Let me fuck her." "Not how this works bro." "Come on can't you just say that I also work for this Little D." "Lil B." "I like her I don't know if she wants a relationship but I'm dating her I'm on that path." "So as one guy to another guy with a lack of moral compass." "You know you are my Grid Gang brother in that fact." "So in a relation to this girl fuck off." "What man?" "You don't even know her." "I know her." "I know that she still sleeps with her childhood teddy bear every night." "I know the address of every man she's fucked for the last two years." "I've been anonymously sending her every single thing she favorited on her Etsy store for the last six months." "You don't know her." "I'm her fucking daddy you bitch." "You're not a troll." "You're just a dumb fucking ape." "Yeah your negroid blood makes you good at scooping white sluts" "and yet you're still not willing to share the fruits of your one meager talent with the only genius on Earth" "that can make you whole?" "Typical." "Yeah pretty much Richard." "Maybe Grid Gang will be the name of my new rap album." "You can't do that." "Odyn thinks this is over." "But it's not over." "That pathetic little newfag has no idea." "No idea!" "See you later." "Hey baby." "Get the fuck away from me." "What, why are you here?" "Not only are you a slimy asshole who invaded her space online and physically, but you're fuckin' here now?" "Don't you know that lying for sex is a form of rape." "How's that make you feel?" "What do you mean we're gonna see the 3D Godard movie right?" "You're busted asshole." "Oh fuck." "You can't just have a girl blow you and fuck you for a part in a fake movie and expect no consequences." "We're gonna kill you, you rapey creeper." "The movie is in pre-production." " Yeah where are the story boards you little bitch?" " I'm more of a overhead lighting charts guy or maybe notate the space above the lighting set up." "Get him." "Chauvinist pig!" "Fuckin' nigger!" "I am making the movie, none of your performances were good enough to warrant a call back." "All I see are a bunch of white people scared to have a half black dick in your entitled cunts." "A process which I might add was entirely consensual." "You fucking sociopath." "You might be interested to know" "I just hacked into your bank account." "I'm about to post all your information online." "I'm glad the Grid Gang had the balls to put you on blast." "Nullman!" "Is he even half black?" "He looks like this Iranian guy from my gym." " Don't try to fucking label a bi-racial person to the pre-determined labels of your mental reference." "Am I assigning a gender to you without first asking which pronoun you prefer?" "You tell him Odyn." "Nadine." "To me he looks more Punjabi." " No I'm half black and fully deep in your bitch's cunt." "I know what you're trying to do with that label." "East Asian people have the smallest penises statistically." "Hey I take offense at that." "Well either show us your penis right now or go back to your systems admin job." "You're gonna die alone asshole." " Hey I just took a sales force developer class from Amfasoft." "Any advice?" "Go kill yourself." " See me and him we even have more of a repartee." "We don't subscribe to the curse of your white privilege super structure." "Let me clear the air." "It's not about race you fuckin' child." "You're just a waste of space." "Yeah see." "Oh wow this great example of the black race assaults a fellow minority to the amusement of a gaggle of giggling crackers." "How progressive." "I guess this makes him one of the good ones." " Me and Kendrick have a very solid relationship." "Something you'd know nothing about." "But maybe I know about the blurred" "Almost white assimilation he wishes he had." "I, having been accepted on more ambiguous terms." "He's in a starker." "Higher contrast relation with you alabaster devils." " Yeah I really wanna switch places with you right now." "Especially since I'm 'bout to break your collarbone bitch." "We have a garden outside our condo." "He's chill." "He's a bike messenger." " Odyn I read that shit I'm over it fuck off." " Oh hey how's it going nice weather." "You betrayed me." "Here's your shit." "Get the fuck out." "And leave." "She doesn't wanna talk to you Odyn." "And I'm only gonna tell you this once." "Fuck off!" "Oh yeah?" "You killed for me." "I want this baby." "Come in me." "I love you." "He gave me an antique teddy bear and made me this apology scroll." "Your father's read it." "It's not very coherent." "We just wanted you to be happy but frankly he wasn't a good fit for you." "Kendra look at me." "You need someone with similar values." "Should he be white?" " Oh pumpkin we're not tryin' to curtail your preferences." "I'm open minded he can be exotic." "I mean why not try a Spaniard?" "Here's what I am saying." "Next time make sure he comes from a good family." "He can be black." "But he has to think like a winner." "No cultural differences." "d Easy with that funny face d When I play it at your wake d I will make money d Make money" " Alright, alright I see where this is goin'." "So you be trapping'." "Wow, wow." "So kinda used to sell coke but now you're kinda goin' for that college demographic type of audience." "College girls specifically." " And 50 year old Viagra addicts bump our shit heavy." "It's working." " So I'm gonna tell you something right now." "I got some developmental deals and this is serious." "It's comin' from my heart." "Trey I mean I got some developmental deals and some labels lookin' for some people to develop." "You know what I'm sayin' but I gotta tell you the truth about this." "Gotta get rid of Odyn man." "What?" "Clearly you have an attitude problem." "His look is problematic." "Racially confusing." "I mean Drake, he's bumpin' that Mongoloid thing." "You know what i'm sayin'?" "And that's his hook." "It makes him so nappy and that's why they buying' his units." "That's why his units is movin' outta here man." "I think you might be interested to know that our man Trey is partially Native." "Oh." "I get it." "He's Indian." "Blackfoot." "Thanks man." "Oh great yeah." "So I guess you're okay with this Trey?" "I mean you could be a ghost writer." "No man I got you covered." "I got this gay guy down in Long Beach works with Lorde on the DL man" "I got this G-Eazy clone from the post Macklemore buzz." "Man maybe I can put you two together and see what happens." "Yo what's good baby?" "23 up in the house man." "I'm poppin' pour like a jack in the box dude." "You know what I'm sayin' man?" "Don't even have to comprehend what we're talkin' about" "He's got a beautiful bone structure." "I just keep it goin' right, freshin' the flowin' and you don't even know about it 'cause I do ballet right mother fucker what's up?" "I will destroy you all." "You'll rue this day!" "Where the fuck is Richard?" "I don't know." "I thought he was with you." " He's honestly been pretty neglectful lately." " You know it's really good to see you guys." "d I wanna be your dog d Put me in the sheets treat me like a hog d Tie me up broke chloroform fog d Hold me close whip me with the rod d I like it when you keep me close" "d Daddy treat me like a bitch d Treat me like a faggy" "You're violating my boundaries!" "d I wanna be your dog d Put me in the sheets d Treat me like a hog d Tie me up" "Please Odyn?" "We can talk about this." "Most epic troll ever." "I'm writing to tell you about a troll called Nullman." "I believe him to be the most dangerous man in America." " I'm running my trolling operations from here while the police have me under surveillance." "First rule of Grid Gang." "Troll never sleeps." "The second rule of Grid Gang," "Know who you are." "The steampunk community quite frankly outlived its usefulness to me." "That's why I've chosen to adopt this new superior fuck boy persona." "I got that pyrex vision girl." "That's real." " I'm sorry that you were taken advantage of by that pathetic newfag Odyn." "I taught him everything he knows." "But still he insists on using his skills for evil." "That's why the Grid Gang works tirelessly to expose mother fuckers like him." "24 hours a day." "We need to wake people up." "Oh and I actually know Lil B." "In real life." "I know you told me." "And I faked Wayne Knight's death." "Perhaps you saw it on the news?" "Okay." "Get off me I just wanna talk about the music video." "You know what this is." "Not so fast Nullman." "You think I wouldn't crush you?" "Your trolling has given me a killer campaign stance." "Turnblatt for Congress." "Get used to it." "You know it scum." "You're gonna die in jail." "Three to five." "And that's just if you have good behavior." " Trolling, electrical abuse, noise complaints, the works." "We've got you by the balls Nullman." "Fuck this man." "Yeah L. A. isn't as bad as I thought." "I still can't drive but if I stay in the east side I don't have to take as many Ubers." "I'll get my license pretty soon." "Once you get everything going you can come see your daughter." "Yeah we'll get you down here girl." "I mean honestly I'm not sure the point of living in the bay area." "I mean you could be in Portland or something and still have the same cultural resources." "Not for my job." "I don't think about you when he fucks me." "You were saying baby?" "Just that I miss you and I love you and I'm so glad that I married you." "I'm in Hollywood now." "Have to make that fake movie I've been talking about." "It's the only way to clear my name." "Kendra are you there?" " What the fuck I just got an anonymous text telling me to go to the hospital." " Some guy with a Florida area code just sent me a dick pic." "God." " You're in the Grid Gang now." " I've heard that you two are the best trolls in the county." "I want you to make porn pop up on my boss's computer." "I take it you accept cash?"