"Our relations with other people mainly consist of discussing and judging our neighbours' character and behaviour." "For me, this has led to a voluntary withdrawal from virtually all so-called social intercourse." "Owing to this, I have become somewhat lonely in my old age." "The days of my life have been full of hard work, and for this I'm grateful." "What began as a struggle to make a living ended in a passion for a science." "I have a son, who also is a doctor and lives in Lund." "He's been married for many years, but it's a childless marriage." "My mother is still alive, and full of energy despite her great age." "My wife, Karin, has been dead for many years." "Dinner is served, Professor." "Thank you." "I'm privileged to have an excellent housekeeper." "Perhaps I should also add that I'm a confirmed pedant." "Something which at times has been rather trying for both myself, and those who've been obliged to live alongside me." "My name is Eberhard Isak Borg." "I'm seventy-eight years old." "Tomorrow, a fiftieth jubilee doctorate is to be conferred on me in Lund." "WILD STRAWBERRIES" "In the later part of the night of Saturday 1 June" "I had a peculiar and highly unpleasant dream." "I dreamt that I, during my morning walk strayed into an unknown part of town with deserted streets and houses in disrepair." " Are you ill, Professor?" " Please prepare some food." " I'm taking the car." " Go back to bed, Professor." "I'll bring coffee at nine." "We'll leave at ten, as agreed." "I can go without food." " And who shall pack the tail coat?" " I'll do it myself." " And what about me?" " You, Miss Agda...?" "You can come in the car, or take the plane - whichever pleases you." "For a whole year I've been looking forward to this ceremony." "Everything has been organised in the best way." "And now you're taking the car!" "The ceremony isn't until 5pm." "If I leave now, I have fourteen hours to get there." "Everything will be ruined!" "And what will your son say, waiting at the airport?" "You'll have to think of an explanation, Miss Agda." "If you take the car, I won't go." "Really, Miss Agda..." "Just go ahead and ruin the most solemn day of my life." "We're not married, Miss Agda." "I thank the Lord every night that I'm not married to you." "All my life I've trusted my judgement, and I'll do so today." " Is that your last word on the matter?" " It's my final word." "I'll have lots to say to myself about mean old men who think only of themselves, and not at all of others who've served them loyally for forty years!" "It's beyond my grasp why I've put up with your despotism all these years, Miss Agda." "That could end tomorrow, if you just say the word." "I'm taking the car, and you can do what the blazes you want!" "I happen to be an adult so I don't need to put up with your commands, Miss Agda." " No one packs like you, Miss Agda." " Is that so...?" "old sourpuss..." " Shall I boil a few eggs for you?" " That would be nice." "Thank you so much, Miss Agda." "A jubilee doctorate..." "Bloody stupid!" "The faculty should confer a doctorate of idiocy on me..." "I'll buy the old dear something to make her amenable again." "I hate people who hold a grudge." "I couldn't hurt a fly let alone Agda." " Do you want toast?" " Don't bother on my behalf." "What's he so sore about...?" " Won't you have a cup?" " No thank you." "Good morning, Uncle Isak." "Are you up already, dear daughter-in-law?" "It's hard to sleep the way you and Miss Agda carry on." " No one's carrying on here." " Certainly not." " Are you driving down to Lund?" " I am." " Can I come with you?" " Are you going home?" " Yes..." "I want to go home." " Home to Evald?" "Don't ask why." "If I could afford it, I'd take the train." "Of course you can come." "I'll be ready in ten minutes." "Goodness me..." "Please don't smoke." " I can't stand cigarette smoke." " I forgot." "There should be a law against women smoking." "It's a lovely day." "It's muggy..." "I think there's thunder in the air." "Give me cigars!" "They're stimulating and relaxing - a manly vice." "What vices are women allowed?" "Crying, having babies and speaking ill of their neighbours." "How old are you, Uncle Isak?" " Why do you ask?" " No reason, really." " I know why you're asking." " If you say so..." "Don't curry favour with me." "You don't like me, and never did." "I only know you as my father-in-law." " Why are you going home?" " Just an impulse." " Evald is my son." " Yes, indeed he is." "Evald and I are very much alike." "We have principles." " I know that." " That loan, for example..." "I know..." "He was to pay you back when he was promoted." ""It's a point of honour to pay it off," and so on..." "He gave his word." "We have no time to ourselves, and your son is working himself to death." "You have your own income." "And you're loaded, you don't need the money." "He gave his word, dear Marianne." "Evald understands and respects me." "Perhaps." "But he also hates you." "What exactly have you got against me?" " Do you want an honest answer?" " I'm asking you." "You're an inveterate egotist." "You're completely ruthless, you've never listened to anyone but yourself." "It's well-masked by your old man's finesse and your amiability." "But you're an inflexible egotist." "The world may see you as a great philanthropist." "We who've seen you at close quarters know better." "You can't fool us." "Like when I came to you a month ago..." "I had the silly notion that you would help Evald and me and asked if I could stay for a while." "Do you remember what you said?" "I said that you were more than welcome." "This is what you said - though I suppose you've forgotten..." ""Don't try to draw me into your marital calamities."" ""I don't care." "Let everyone fend for themselves."" " Did I say that?" " You said more than that." "Oh dear!" "You said, word for word:" ""I've no respect for mental suffering, so don't come to me for sympathy."" ""If you're in need of mental masturbation, I can find you a shrink."" ""Or a priest, which seems to be all the rage."" "Did I say that?" "You're rather dogmatic in your opinions." "I wouldn't want to be dependent on you." "Quite frankly, I've liked having you around the house." " Like a cat, you mean." " A cat or a person." "You're a dependable young woman, I'm sorry you dislike me." " I don't dislike you." " No?" " I pity you." " Pity...?" "I have a good mind to tell you about a dream I had last night." "I'm not very interested in dreams." "No..." "Of course not." " Where are we going?" " I want to show you something." "We stayed here every summer for the first twenty years of my life." "We were ten brothers and sisters." "But you know that." " Is someone staying here now?" " No, not this summer." "I'll go for a swim, we have plenty of time." "Wild strawberries..." "It's possible I became a bit sentimental." "Perhaps I was a bit tired and felt a trifle melancholy." "It's not inconceivable that I came to think of a thing or two associated with the places where we played as children." "I don't know how it came about, but the clarity of the present shaded into the even clearer images of memory, which appeared before my eyes with the force of actual events." "Sara?" "Sara!" "It's your cousin, Isak." "I've grown a bit old, of course so I suppose I don't look the same." "But you... you haven't changed in the slightest." " What are you doing, dear cousin?" " Picking wild strawberries." "Who'll be favoured with these berries, picked an early morn by a lovely young maid?" "You know full well today is Uncle Aron's name day." "I forgot to make him a present, so he'll get a basket of wild strawberries." " I'll help you." " Sigbritt and Lottie have a tapestry." "Angelica has baked a cake and Anna painted something." "The twins have composed a song." "Fantastic, considering Uncle is deaf." "He'll be overjoyed, and you're silly." "And you have a dashed pretty neck." " You mustn't do that." " Says who?" "I do." "You're an insufferable little man, so full of yourself." "I'm your cousin, and you've taken a fancy to me." "To you...!" "Come here, and I'll kiss your mouth." "If you don't behave, I'll tell Isak you're for ever trying to kiss me." "Little Isak" " I'd lick him with one arm tied behind my back." "You know we're secretly engaged." "So secret so that the whole house knows about it." "I can't help it if the twins went babbling to everyone." "When are you getting married?" "Of you four brothers, I don't know who is the least stuck-up." "I think it's Isak." "At least he's the nicest." "You're the meanest, the most insufferable, stupidest, silliest, most pompous..." "I don't know what to say!" "Admit you have a soft spot for me." " And you smell of cigars." " That's a manly smell, isn't it?" "And the twins, who know everything, they say you've been doing bad things with the Berglund girl." "The twins say she's not a nice girl." "I believe them, because I think so too." "You're so sweet when you're face turns red." "Kiss me now, I can't bear it any longer." "Come to think of it, I'm dreadfully in love with you." " You're just saying that." " Oh no!" "And then the twins say that you're crazy about girls." "Is it true?" "All my strawberries!" "What will Isak say, who really loves me?" "I'm so unhappy!" "You've hurt me terribly..." "You've made me a fallen woman!" "At least - nearly." "I never want to see you again, at least not before breakfast." "Help me pick up the strawberries!" "And my pinny is stained too!" "Birgitta and Kristina, where is Isak?" "Isak is out fishing with Father, he can't hear the gong." "Father said not to wait with breakfast." "That's what Father said." "The plums!" "We ask Thee, Lord, to bless this our daily bread." "Amen." "Benjamin, wash your hands." "How old do you need to be for cleanliness?" " I have washed my hands." " Sigbritt, hand Angelica the porridge." "Angelica, serve the twins." "You're black as soot under the nails!" "Hagbart, pass me the bread." "Who taught you to spread the butter on the right face?" "Charlotta, the salt become lumpy." "You know that salt mustn't be left out, it gets damp." "It's paint under my fingernails!" " Who picked the wild strawberries?" " I did." " I did." " Speak up, dear." "Uncle Aron is deaf." "I did!" "Did you really remember me on my name day?" "How kind of you!" "Couldn't Uncle have a schnapps, in honour of the day?" "When Father isn't here?" "Certainly not!" "Uncle Aron has already had three!" "We saw him this morning, when we went for a swim." " You picked berries too?" "Thank you." " Eat and hold your tongue, you two!" "And as a punishment for not making your beds, you'll dry up after dinner." "You will listen to your Aunt OIga!" "Benjamin, don't chew your nails!" "Anna, what are you doing under the table?" "I want to give Uncle my picture." "Do let's give him the presents now!" "Where is it?" "Wait until after breakfast." "A highly advanced work of art." ""Fritiof and Ingeborg"." "Although it's hard to tell which of them is Fritiof..." "What were Sigfrid and Sara doing at the berry patch this morning?" "We saw you from the bathing hut!" " Those two should be gagged." " You two, be quiet or leave the table." " Is there no freedom of speech?" " Shut up, you brats!" "Sara's blushing!" "Sara's blushing, Sara's blushing..." "Sigfrid's blushing too!" "Sigfrid and Sara!" "Sara and Sigfrid!" "Silence!" " Really, Sara..." " They're lying!" "Isak is so nice." "He's so terribly nice." "And moral, and sensitive." "He wants us to read poetry to one another and talk about the afterlife and play duets on the piano." "He only wants to kiss in the dark." "And he talks about sin." "I do believe he's terribly superior." "I feel so base." "And I am base, there's no question about it." "Sometimes I get it into my head that I'm much older than Isak." "Then I feel he's a child, although we're the same age." "And then Sigfrid is so brazen and exciting!" "I won't stay all summer with everyone laughing at me!" " I really won't." " I'll have a word with Sigfrid." "If he doesn't behave, I'll ask Father to give him extra studies to do." "He too thinks Sigfrid is impudent and needs to work." "Poor dear Isak, who's so nice to me." "It's all so unfair!" "It'll be all right." "Listen - they're singing to Uncle Aron." "Isn't that silly!" "Composing a song for a deaf man." "It's so typical of the twins!" "Everyone is paying tribute" "To our dearest Uncle Aron" "With a song we mark his day" "Let's give four cheers for Uncle Aron!" "I'll run and meet Isak and Uncle." "I was overcome by a feeling of emptiness and mournfulness." "But I was soon startled from my reverie by a girl's voice who repeatedly asked me about something..." " Is this your shack?" " No, it's not." "I'm glad you're truthful." "My dad owns the whole spit, including the shack." "But I did live here once, two hundred years ago." "Really?" " Are those your wheels up there?" " Yes, my wheels." " They look ancient." " They are ancient, as is the owner." "Self-irony too..." "That's amazing!" " In what direction are you travelling?" " I'm going to Lund." " That's great." "I'm on my way to Italy." " Well, what an honour." " I'm Sara." "Corny name, isn't it?" " My name's Isak." "That's corny too." " Weren't they married?" " Unfortunately not." "That was Abraham and Sara." " Shall we be on our way?" " There's another lady..." "Here she is." "Marianne, this is Sara." "She's coming with us to Lund." "Sara's going to Italy, but she's offered to accompany us for a while." "You're being ironic again - but it suits you!" "Shall we be off?" "We've got a ride almost all the way to Italy!" "This is Anders." "And that's Viktor, Vik for short." "And this is Father Isak." "The looker you're ogling like crazy is Marianne." " What an unusually large car!" " There's room for everybody." "You can put your luggage in the boot, if that's convenient." "I really should tell Isak that Anders and I are going steady." "We're nuts about each other!" "Viktor is our chaperone, on Dad's orders." "Viktor's also in love with me, and watches Anders' every move." "A stroke of genius of Dad's." "I may have to seduce Viktor to put him out of the running." "I'd better inform Isak that I'm a virgin, hence my sauciness." "And I smoke a pipe." "Viktor says it's healthy." "Viktor's mad about everything healthy." "I had a sweetheart called Sara." " Really?" "I'm sure she looked like me." " She did look quite a lot like you." " What became of her?" " She married my brother Sigfrid." "She had six children." "Now she's seventy-five and a lovely old lady." "I can't imagine a worse thing than getting old!" "I'm sorry!" "Now I've really put my foot in it, haven't I?" "I need my glasses!" "Are you all right?" "We have no excuse." "We're entirely to blame!" "My wife was driving." "Are you all right?" "Quite all right?" "Thank God!" "The name's Alman, with the Stockholm Electricity Board." "That's my wife, Berit." "She used to be an actress." "We were discussing that when..." "Come here and apologise!" "I'm so sorry, it's entirely my fault." "I was about to punch my husband when that bend appeared." "Your sins will find you out." "Right?" "You're a Catholic..." " We must right your car." " Don't bother on our account..." "Shut up, Sten." "Some people are quite unselfish." "Even if you can't believe it." "My wife's a bit highly strung." "It must be the shock." "Watch Mr Engineer try to match the young men's strength." "Straining every slackened limb to show off before the pretty girl." "Mind you don't have a seizure, dear!" "My wife loves to embarrass me in public." "I let her, it's therapeutic." "I can never tell if my wife is crying for real or if it's an act." "I'll be damned if it isn't for real..." " That's what it's like to face death." " Please shut up." "My wife has a great talent for living the rôle." "For two years she led me to believe she had cancer." "She pestered everybody with all kinds of symptoms." "The doctors found nothing wrong." "She was so convincing that we believed her rather than the doctors!" "You may be overwrought, but why don't you leave your wife be." "Do not trifle with a woman's emotions, for they are holy." "You're a very attractive woman." "old Berit is a bit shabby, so you can afford to defend her." "I sympathise with your wife for many reasons." "A most sarcastic remark." "Yet you don't seem hysterical in the least." "Little Berit here is a classic hysteric." " Do you know what that means?" " Your wife says you're a Catholic." "Exactly." "That's how I bear it;" "I ridicule my wife, and she me." "She has her hysteria, I my religion." "We're dependent on each other." "Only egotism stops us from killing each other." "There we are!" "I believe that's called syncopation!" "Unbearably comical!" "With a stopwatch I could have timed the outburst to the second." "Shut up!" "Shut up!" "All this truth-telling and drama may be admirable but for the youngsters' sake I must ask you to get out." "Forgive us... if you can." "I had mixed emotions about returning to this place." "This is where I had my first practice and my aged mother lives nearby in a large house." "How do you do, Doctor!" "So the Doctor's out driving..." "Shall I fill her up?" "Pass me the key, please." "Eva, come here for a moment!" "Here's Doctor Borg himself." "Mum and Dad and everyone else still talk about him." "The best doctor in the world." "Why don't we name the new kid after the Doctor?" "Isak Ĺkerman - not a bad name for a Prime Minister." " What if it's a girl?" " We only make boys." " Oil and water too?" " Yes, please." "How is your father, with his bad back?" "The old man is wearing away, that's a fact." "But Mum, she's fit as a fiddle, I'll tell you that!" " Will you see your mother, Doctor?" " I will." "A remarkable woman, she must be at least ninety-five." " Ninety-six." " Well, I'll be blowed!" " What do I owe you?" " It's on Eva and me." " Certainly not!" " Don't offend us, Doctor." " We bumpkins can be generous too." " Why should you pay for my petrol?" " I appreciate..." " Certain things you remember." "Things that can't be paid for, not even with petrol." "We don't forget in a hurry." "Ask anyone in town, or on the hills around here." "They remember you, and what you did for them, Doctor." " Perhaps I should have stayed here." " I don't understand." "What did you say, Henrik?" "You said you should've stayed here." "Did I?" "Yes, maybe..." "Thank you so much." "Keep me informed, and I'll be godfather to the new child." "You know where to find me." ""Surely I'm the doctor here," I said to the old hag!" "During lunch, which was a great success, I became elated and told the youngsters of my years as district doctor." "My stories went down quite well." "I don't think they laughed merely from politeness." "I had wine with my food and then port with my coffee." "When so much beauty in each vein of Life and Nature is contained, how beauteous will the source not be, forever clear!" " Anders is to be a vicar, Vik a doctor." " We're not to discuss God or science." "Anders' lyrical outburst violates that agreement." "How could a modern man be a cleric?" "Anders isn't that thick..." "Your rationalism is unbelievably pompous." " In my view, modern man..." " In my view..." "Man bravely faces his futility, and believes in himself and his death." " Anything else is nonsense!" " Modern man is an invention." "Man abhors death and can't stand the futility." "Religion to the people, as an opiate for an aching limb." "Aren't they cute?" "I always agree with the last speaker." "The child loves Santa; the adult, God." "Your lack of imagination is stunning!" "What's your view, Professor?" "My dear boys, whatever I say, you'll meet with indulgence and irony." " So I keep silent." " Won't that be their loss?" "No, Sara, a very great boon." "Where is that friend, whom everywhere I seek?" "At day's first light my longing finds its peak" "When falls dark night..." "When falls dark night, and still of him no trace, although my heart's ablaze!" "The signs are there..." "So you're a believer, Professor?" "The signs are there, wherever a force emerges a flower smells softly, the wind in a field surges" "In the sigh I heave, the air I breathe, his charity is present" "I hear his voice, where summery breezes whisper..." "Not bad for a love poem." "I've gone all solemn again." "It happens just like that!" "I'm off to pay a visit to my mother." "I'll be back shortly." " Can I come?" " Of course you can." "Goodbye, my young friends." "Here's that thunderstorm." "I just sent a telegram saying you're in my thoughts today." "Today, on the big day." "And now you're here!" "We all have our bright moments, Mother dearest." "Is that your wife over there, Isak?" "Ask her to leave, I won't talk to her." " She has done us too much harm." " It's not Karin, Mother." "It's Evald's wife, my daughter-in-law, Marianne." "So why doesn't she say hello?" "Hello, Mrs Borg." " How come you're out travelling?" " I've been on a visit to Stockholm." "Why aren't you with Evald, and your little one?" "We don't have any children." "Young people today are strange." "I had ten children, myself." "Please bring that big box over here, Marianne." "My mother lived here before me." "You children often visited." "Do you remember?" "Of course I do." "In this box are some of your toys." "I've been trying to work out whose they were." "Ten children, all dead apart from Isak." "Twenty grandchildren." "No one visits except for Evald, once a year." "Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining." "Fifteen great-grandchildren that I've never seen." "Every year I send fifty-three cards and gifts on special days." "I get kind letters of thanks." "But no visits, barring exceptional cases." "And when it's a case of borrowing money." " I'm a tiresome old thing, of course." " You mustn't think that, Mother." "I have another flaw..." "I don't die." "The inheritance isn't forthcoming according to calculations made by sensible young people." "This doll belonged to Sigbritt." "She got it on her eighth birthday." "I sewed the dress myself." "But she didn't care for it, so Charlotta took it over." "I remember it clearly." "That's Sigfrid when he was three and you when you were five." "And me." "Dear God, they way one looked in those days...!" " Could I have that?" " Of course, it's just rubbish." "And here's a colouring book." "Is it the twins'...?" "Or Anna's, or Angelica's..." "I can't tell, as they've all scribbled their names in it." "Kristina has written:" ""I love Daddy best in the whole wide world!"" "And Birgitta has added:" ""I'm going to marry Daddy."" "Amusing, isn't it?" "I laughed when I read it." "Isn't it cold in here?" "The fire isn't giving off much heat." "No, it's not particularly cold." "I have always been cold." "Why is that?" "You're the doctor." " Mostly here, in my stomach." " You've got low blood pressure." "Let's ask Nurse Elisabet for some tea and sit down for a chat." "No thank you, we shan't bother you further." "But look here..." "Sigbritt's oldest will be fifty." "I wanted to give him Father's old gold watch." "Can I give it to him, even though the hands have fallen off?" "I remember when Sigbritt's boy was newborn and lay in his little basket in the lilac arbour by the summer house." "He'll be fifty years old now..." "And little cousin Sara was always carrying him around." "She married Sigfrid, that layabout." "No, you must leave now, so you have time for everything you need to do." "I'm very grateful for your visit, and hope to see you again some time." "Give my love to Evald." "Goodbye." "Where are Anders and Viktor?" "They started debating God's existence and got so angry they started shouting." "Anders twisted Viktor's arm." "Viktor said it was a lousy argument for God's existence." "I said, forget about God and show some interest in me." "They said I didn't understand:" "this was a question of principles." "I left, and they went to settle it." "They both claim to be deeply hurt, so now they'll have a punch-up." " Where are they?" " Up there." " I'll go and get them." " Which of the boys do you like best?" " Who do you like the best?" " I don't know." "Anders is entering the Church, but he's quite warm and sweet." "But a vicar's wife..." "Viktor is fun, in another way." "Viktor will go far." " What do you mean by that?" " Doctors make more money." "Clergymen, they're so outmoded." "Though his legs are nice, and his neck's lovely." "But how can one believe in God?" "So - does God exist?" "I fell asleep, but my sleep was haunted by dreams and images that were utterly tangible and humiliating." "Nor can I deny that there was something compelling about the dreams which pierced my mind with a well-nigh unbearable purpose." "Have you looked in the mirror, Isak?" "No?" "Then I'll show you what you look like." "You're an anxious old man who'll soon be dead." "I have my whole life before me." "Now I've hurt you." "No, I'm not hurt." "Yes, you're hurt." "Because you can't stand the truth." "The truth is that I've shown far too much consideration." "It makes one cruel, even without wanting to be." "I see." "No, you don't see." "We don't speak the same language." "Look once again in the mirror." "No, don't look away." "I'm looking." "Listen to me." "I'm going to marry your brother Sigfrid." "He and I love one another, as if it were a game." "Look at what happens to your face." "Try to smile!" "That's it, you're smiling." "It hurts!" "You who are professor emeritus should know why it hurts." "But you don't." "Though you know so much, you don't really know anything." "I have to go, I promised to look after Sigbritt's little boy." "My poor little baby." "Be quiet and sleep." "Don't be afraid of the wind." "Don't be afraid of the birds, the jackdaws and the gulls." "Don't fear the waves out at sea." "I'm here with you, holding you." "Don't be afraid, little one." "Soon it will be day again." "No one will hurt you." "I'm here with you, holding you." "Please step inside, Professor Borg." "Take a seat!" "Do you have your examination book?" " Here you are." " Thank you." "Please identify the bacteria specimen under the microscope." "There's something wrong with the microscope." " Nothing's wrong." " I can't see a thing." "Please read this text aloud." "What does it mean?" "I don't know." "I'm a doctor, not a linguist!" "What is written on the blackboard is the principal duty of a doctor." "Do you know what a doctor's principal duty is?" "If I could have a moment to think." "Take your time." "A doctor's principal principal..." "I've forgotten." "A doctor's principal duty is to ask forgiveness." "Yes, of course, now I remember!" "Moreover, you're guilty of guilt." "Guilty of guilt?" "I'll note down that you haven't understood the charges." "Is it serious?" "I'm afraid so, Professor." "I have a weak heart." "I'm an old man, Mr Alman." "I must be treated leniently, that's only fair." "There's nothing about your heart in my papers." " Do you want to break off the exam?" " God no!" "Please give a case history and make a diagnosis of the patient." "The patient is dead." " What are you writing in my book?" " My conclusion." " Which is...?" " That you're incompetent." "Incompetent?" "You're also accused of several minor, but nevertheless serious, offences." "Callousness." "Selfishness." " Ruthlessness." " No..." "The charges have been brought by your wife, whom you'll confront." " My wife has been dead many years." " Do you think I'm joking?" "Please come with me, voluntarily." "You have no choice, by the way." "Come on." "Most people forget a woman who's been long dead." "A few nurture a tender, ever-fading picture." "But you can call up this scene at any time." "Odd, isn't it?" "Tuesday 1 May 1917." "You stood here, and you heard and saw exactly what the woman and the man said and did." "I'll go home and tell Isak about this." "I know what he'll say:" "Poor little girl, I feel so sorry for you." "As if he were God the Father himself." "I'll cry and say:" "Do you really have some pity for me?" "And he'll say:" "I feel infinitely sorry for you." "I'll cry still more and ask if he can forgive me." "And he'll say:" "You shouldn't ask my forgiveness." "I have nothing to forgive you." "But he doesn't mean a word of what he says." "He's utterly cold." "Then, suddenly, he'll become all tender." "I'll shout at him that he's out of his mind." "That his false magnanimity is enough to make you sick." "He'll say he'll fetch me something calming and that he fully understands the situation." "I'll tell him it's his fault that I am as I am." "He'll look very sad, and say it is his fault." "But he doesn't care about anything, because he's utterly cold." " Where is she?" " You know very well she's gone." "Everyone's gone." "Can't you hear the silence?" "Everything has been removed:" "a surgical masterpiece." "There's nothing that hurts, nothing that bleeds or trembles." "It really is very quiet." "A perfect achievement of its kind, Professor." " What will be my punishment?" " I don't know." " The usual, I suppose." " The usual?" " Yes, indeed:" "loneliness." " Loneliness..." "That's right, loneliness." "Is there no mercy?" "Don't ask me, I don't know about such things." "What's this?" "The youngsters wanted to stretch their legs." "But it's still raining." "When I told them what day it was today, they wanted to honour you." " Did you sleep well?" " Yes, but I dreamt." "This past month I've been having the oddest dreams." " It's quite comical." " What is?" "It's as if I'm telling myself something I don't want to hear when I'm awake." " What would that be?" " That I'm dead even though I'm alive." " You and Evald are so alike." " Yes, you said that." " Evald has said exactly the same." " About me?" "He would..." " No, about himself." " He's only thirty-eight." " Can I tell you, or would it bore you?" " No." "I'd be grateful if you told me." "A few months ago I wanted to talk to Evald." "We drove down to the sea." "It was raining, like today." "Evald sat where you're sitting now." "You've got me in a trap now." "What is it you want to say?" "Something unpleasant, I imagine." " I wish I didn't have to tell you." " I see, you've found someone else." " Don't be childish!" " Childish!" "What do you expect?" "In a funereal voice you say you want to talk to me and then can't get it out." "Out with it!" "It's an excellent moment for confidences." " But don't keep me on tenterhooks!" " You're funny." "What do you think I want to tell you?" "That I've murdered someone?" "I'm pregnant." " Are you sure?" " I got the test result yesterday." "So that's the secret." "One thing I want to say right now:" "I'm keeping this child." " That's plainly said." " That's right." "You know you'll have to choose between me and a child." " Poor Evald." " Don't 'poor' me!" "Life's absurd, without producing new wretches and imagining they'll be happy." " You're making excuses." " Call it what you will." "I was the unwanted child of a marriage made in hell." " Am I the old man's son?" " Very touching." "But it's no excuse for acting like a child." "I have neither the time nor the inclination to discuss this further." "You're a coward!" "Yes, I am." "This life disgusts me to the point of vomiting." "I don't want any ties that force me to live a day longer than I choose." "You know I'm serious - it's not hysteria as you first thought." " I know this is wrong." " There is no right or wrong." "We fulfill our needs, that's common knowledge." " What are our needs?" " You feel the need to be alive." " You want to live, and produce life." " What about you?" "I feel the need to be dead, absolutely dead." "If you want to smoke a cigarette, you're welcome to." "Why did you tell me all this?" "I saw you together with your mother and was seized with an irrational fear." "I don't understand." "This is what I thought:" "That's his mother, an ancient woman." "Frozen through and through." "Somehow more frightening than death itself." "That's her son." "Those two people are light years apart." "He says he's one of the living dead." "And Evald... who is becoming just as lonely, cold and dead." "I thought of the baby inside me." "I thought:" "There's nothing but coldness, death and loneliness." "It has to end somewhere." "But you're going back to Evald." "To tell him I won't accept his conditions." "I want my child!" "No one can take it from me;" "not even the man I love." " Can I help?" " No one can help me." "We're too old, Isak." "It's gone too far." "What happened after your talk?" "Nothing." "I left the following day." "Hasn't he been in touch?" "I don't want me and Evald to become like that." "Like what?" "Those two we turned out, what was their name?" "I was just thinking of Alman and his wife." "I was reminded of my own marriage." "But we love one another." "It's a big day for you, so we wanted to honour you with some flowers." "It's impressive that you're old enough to have been a doctor for fifty years." "We do realise that you are a very wise old man who knows a lot about life, and has learnt the entire manual by heart." "Many thanks." "We have to continue, it's getting late." "So you came after all." "Evald and I had given up hope." "It's so practical and restful to motor, isn't it?" "You'll have to get into your tails straight away." "Hello, Marianne." "I warned Evald you were coming." "Thank you, that's good of you." " So you came after all, Miss Agda." " It's my duty." "Though the pleasure's gone." " Welcome, Father." " Hello, Evald." " I brought Marianne." " I'll take my things upstairs." " The guest room, Father?" " That'll be fine." "Let me carry your bag." "Put your things there." " Nice journey?" " It's been pleasant." " Who are the youngsters?" " They're going to Italy." " They seem nice." " They're very nice." "It's a quarter past four." "I've bought new shoelaces." " I'll be leaving tomorrow." " Will you stay in a hotel?" "I'm sure we could share a bedroom for one more night - unless you mind?" " Help me unpack instead." " It's nice to see you, and unexpected." "Likewise..." "So, are we going to the banquet afterwards?" "Yes, I'll call Stenberg and tell him I'm bringing a lady." "We're in a hurry, Professor!" "Father Isak!" "Primo pileum meum sumo et capiti meo impolo." "Isak Borg, medice peritissime atque experimentissime inventor medicorum instrumentorum sagacissime." "Salve medicine doctor preclarissime." "Accipe pileum libertatis spectateque virtutis." "I caught myself, in the middle of the ceremony, turning the events of the day over in my mind." "It was then that I decided" "I would recollect and record everything that had transpired." "In this chain of events, randomly scrambled together," "I thought I could make out a most remarkable causality." "Vale preclarissime medicine doctor julbilaris Lundensis." "Well, did you enjoy the ceremony?" "Very much, thank you." " Are you tired, Miss Agda?" " I can't deny that." " Have one of my sleeping pills." " No thanks." "Say, Miss Agda..." "I'm sorry about this morning." " Are you ill, Professor?" " No, why do you ask?" "I don't know, you sound anxious." "Is my contrition so unusual?" " Do you want a carafe by the bed?" " No thanks." "I'll open the balcony doors." "It's still raining." "Many thanks, Professor." "Good night." " I say, Miss Agda..." " Yes, Professor?" "Don't you think that we two, who have known one another for a lifetime, should be able to drop the titles?" " No, I certainly think not." " Why not?" "Have you cleaned your teeth, Professor?" "I'll tell you this: no intimacy for me, thank you very much!" " Everything is fine between us two." " But we're old, Miss Agda." "Speak for yourself!" "A woman has her reputation to think of." "What would people say if we were to drop the titles?" "They'd poke fun." " You always do what's right?" " Almost always." "At our age, one should know how to behave, Professor." "Good night, Miss Agda." "Good night, Professor." "I'll leave the door ajar." "You know where to find me, Professor." "Good night, Professor." "Father Isak!" "You were splendid in the procession." " We're proud to know you." "We're off!" " We've got a lift to Hamburg." "With a fifty-year-old deaconess." "Anders is besotted." " We wanted to say goodbye." " Bye." "Thanks for the company." "Goodbye, Father Isak." "Know that it's you that I love!" "Today, tomorrow and forever." "I'll remember that." "Come on now!" " Goodbye, Professor." " Goodbye, Viktor." " Goodbye, Professor." " Goodbye, Anders." "We'd better be on our way." "Goodbye!" "I'd like to hear from you some time." " I think he's asleep." " Evald!" "Back already?" "Marianne has to change shoes - the heel came off." "I see..." "So you're going to the dance?" "I suppose we are." " How are you, Father?" " Very well, thank you." " Heart all right?" " Excellent." "Good night, Father." "Evald!" "Come and sit here for a while." "Was there something...?" "I wanted to ask you what's happening with you and Marianne." " Forgive me for asking." " I don't know." " It's none of my business, but..." " What's that?" "Won't it be..." "I've asked her to stay." " Shouldn't you..." "I mean..." " I can't live without her." " Do you mean alone?" " I mean, I can't live without her." "Oh, I see." " It's up to her to decide." " And does she want to?" "She said she'd think about it." "I don't know." " About your debt..." " Don't worry, you'll get your money." " That's not what I meant." " You'll get your money." " How are you, Uncle?" " Very well, thanks." " Can I wear these shoes?" " They look lovely!" " I enjoyed your company." "Thank you." " Thank you." "I'm fond of you, Marianne." "And I'm fond of you, Uncle Isak." "If I have been feeling worried or sad during the day" "I have a habit of recalling scenes from childhood to calm me." "So it was this evening." "Isak, dear, there aren't any more wild strawberries." "Auntie wants you to find your father." "We'll meet you on the other side." "I've looked for him already, but I can't find Father or Mother." "I'll help you." "Come on."