"Lunde fornisca Åsane" "There was a full house at the opening of IKEA to Åsane today." "The same Ingvar Kamprad, founder of IKEA, wanted to attend the event." "Northern Europe, Scandinavia, Norway ..." "Bergen e ora Åsane." "Residents went on site in droves to celebrate the event." "We are delighted to inaugurate the largest IKEA in the Nordic region, here in Åsane." "Good." "Here you will find everything for your needs." "We have provided Tertnes, Morvik and Flagtvedt, schools and nursing homes." " We provided Åsane." " Let the countdown together?" "Monica, size." "10, 9, 8, 7, 6..." "They survived the waterbed." "We can survive anything." "Even at his shit." "Yes." "Shit." "Exact." "Well said, Marny." " Thank you." " Holy words." "Translation of Hanna Lise and Dompap" "Six months later..." "It is a real scam. plastic chairs, gadgets to tighten." "Shit." "Unfortunately we can not help it, Lunde." "People want this." "We have to...?" "That chair in front of you, we are very proud." "It was created in the same way for over 400 years." "It is the only piece of furniture that we produce ourselves." "It is our hallmark." "We did it for 40 years." "Solid wood." "Four layers of oil, four transparent paint." "The padding is Italian." "Virtually indestructible." " Can you sign here?" " Yes sure." " You're taking good." " Thank you." "Son of a bitch!" "Son of a bitch!" "Son of a bitch!" "Son of a bitch!" "Son of a bitch!" "Son of a bitch." "If we can hold us back a few weeks, to celebrate Christmas here ..." "I see." "By Thursday we will be gone." "Goodbye." "Good thing there is you here." "In the monastery, many years ago, I had this baby." "Then came a couple from America, and if they took." "And I had no more news of him." "They say that all documents were burned, and that is not nothing." "But then I found a journalist interested in this kind of stories." "He wanted to go to America to find out." "And he said that I could go with him." "Therefore, I could go to America with him." "We have a son who is a journalist." "His name is Jan, he lives in Oslo." "He is married to Solveig and has two children." "Yes sure." "In fact I never had the courage to go to America." "It feels so good here in Sweden." "The Swedish ... spoiled." "I'm sorry." "I can no longer take care of you, Marny." "How beautiful." "You have to ... you can push your foot, Marny?" "You can push your foot?" "We do manual chores, cooking classes, even masquerades." "Canto." "The staff there are good musicians, like Maja and Fredrik." "They sing very often. "Yellow Submarine"." "You know, Marny?" " "We all live in ..."" " Of course, we love the music." "Then you will find it here." "Miserable..." " I want to Harold." " Harold's here." "No." "I understand you're scared, but Harold is here." "That's not Harold." "I would never have married that Santa Claus." " He is Harold." " Shut up, bitch." "Miserable!" "Holy shit." "This is just weird, fucking." "Why is it so fucking?" "Miserable?" "I promised never to take her to a nursing home." "Better still, he said." "And he did it ..." "literally." "Already." "Hi, this is the secretariat of Jan. Leave a message after the beep." "Jan, I just wanted to tell you that ..." "I mean ..." "Jan, hello?" "You are there?" "You can pick up the phone or is it too hard?" "Also today." "Okay, then ..." "I just wanted... to wish you." "I mean, for Christmas." "And wish you the best for the new year." "That's all." "It's me." "Harold." "Ciao." "Pope?" "What the fuck?" "Come here, you piece of shit!" "You see something?" "No." "I was working on a big case." "It was an informant." "He went out of his mind." " How did you find me?" " They told me you were there." "At work?" "They said something else?" " Yes." "But do not you sit?" " Who cares." "Now I'm not going to talk about other crap." "We think about it later." "What's that smell?" " Solveig, Kristine e..." " Simon." "I am at home?" "I also have to talk to them." "No, I'm going to Lillehammer, for a ski race." "I built a shooting range in the basement." "Because?" "And how have you built?" "By hand." " Did you hand a shooting range?" " Yup." "It's your turn." "Sorry, it's a colt 45." "Me has given a friend." "Do you want to try?" "Yup." "Attention, old." "No..." "Fuck!" "Look!" "What are you doing here?" " We ... we shoot." " Yup." "For heaven's sake!" "You wake up the whole neighborhood!" "You must get rid of that gun." " What did you do to your eye?" " I fell." " You're drunk?" " No Yes." " Nice to see you, Harold." " He likes himself..." "Where is Grandma?" "Lei ..." "The grandmother is very old." "She is sick." "A disease that makes you forget things, so I do not remember much." "Ikea, Ikea, Ikea." "And Ikea." "I do not like luxury furniture, remember?" "I'm just a journalist who writes for scaring people." "Did not you say who fired you?" "Jan?" "She had a birthmark on her back." "Ever I touched him." "It was like a secret sign to tell her that I wanted to have sex." " He said my name when he came." " Harold, has five years!" " Five and a half." " Kristine, come on, it's time to go to bed." "Fuck you." "Fuck you." "Fuck." "And fuck." "They told me a joke." "Obama and Cameron are in a bar at the Marriott Hotel in London." "Marriott Hotel?" "I was there." " Really?" " Yes Yes." "But with your mother." "Nine months before I was born." "Maddai." "I did not know." "So you came up in Oslo to tell old stories." "The Marriott Hotel with mom." "The desire ... signals ..." "What are you getting all these embarrassing details?" "At the end you have the balls to send mom in a nursing home." "Do you want a shoulder to cry on?" "A little 'too late, right?" "Too late?" "If I came home months ago, you could talk to her!" "You should have come." "You're right." "Maybe step by Christmas." "Want to hear the rest?" "Obama said: "I have to kill a million Muslims and a computer engineer."" " Cameron looks at him and says ..." " I do not understand English well." "I have to go to Sweden." " For the supplies?" " Rapirò Ingvar Kamprad." "Fantastic." "You're strong, you know." " Want to watch TV?" " I'd rather not." "Jan, I love you." "I have not heard, Dad." "Jan!" "You have to leave!" "You, your father, and the damn gun!" " But I have so much more stuff!" " You do not live here anymore!" " You're drunk!" " I'm just tipsy." " You're drunk, fuck!" " I'm just tipsy!" "Continental." "Wait." "That's all I have left." "It's yours." "The shop is gone." "Your mother is dead." "I'm sorry." "Pope?" "Shit, I thought you were dead." " Where am I?" " Älmhult." "Sweden." "Can I come with you, right?" " Where are you going?" " I do not know." "You do not know?" "You are looking for someone?" "Maybe someone is looking for me." " What's your name?" " Ebba." "But then you're a girl?" "Yup." " Did you want to die?" " More or less." " Then I saved you?" " Maybe." "I did it." "But why die in Älmhult?" " There are no forests in Norway?" " It was not the original plan." "Do you want to kidnap him?" "Not bad." "Figo." "Because it would be cool?" "Ingvar Kamprad." "Super figo." "I did not say I want to kidnap Kamprad, was just a thought." "Eat the soup." "Ok." "A secret boyfriend?" "Eat the soup." " Where is she?" "Where's Mom?" " I do not know!" " You're lying!" " What it my fault if it does not fit with the head?" "Among us it did not work." "And you do not know where it is?" "Get out to fuck off, then." " We better go now." " You're really good at running away!" " Who is it?" " He is my bodyguard, as you see." "It protects me and my mother by swine like you." " Sure." "Good luck then." " Thank you." "If you even come close to a hundred meters, it shoots point blank." " Ok." " It really does!" " Yes." " Asshole." "Thank you." "I knew you were a professional." " Professional?" " Scarf, coat." "But you do not have the gun." "Actually, I do." "Super cool." "I'll show you where he lives?" "Vive that." "Kamprad." "It is not bad." "Just have a taser and a suit." "Those who use the dog trainers." "Something to protect yourself." " When we do that?" " I do not want to involve women or children." " I'm not a little girl." " You're a woman." "No." "What do you do, exactly?" "Why do you want to kidnap him?" "I took everything to me." "There is someone waiting for you?" "Non and May." " Do you have a cigarette?" " I do not smoke." " I smoked before." " Naturally." " Want to know the tattoo?" " Yes why not?" "I had a fight with my mother." "He said I was heartless." "The next day I did the tattoo on his hand." "Ok, brava." "Itself takes quality stuff, the bastard." "Kamprad?" "Kamprad?" "No, maybe it was wrong." "Granliden comes from?" "That's where I was a guest?" "There is no danger." "No, it's ... we call them, they are going to come and get her." "Do not be afraid." " I'm not a patient." " No, I did not mean this." "Ingenious." "A plastic bag." "Oh yeah." "It's cold." "No!" " Mom, get up, let's go home." " Leave me here!" "For me it's over." " Come on, let's go home." " No!" "Dammit, stop that!" " You can not stay here." " Oh, shut up." "Ehi you!" "Hey!" "I saved your life, if you remember!" "Come help me!" "Tell me!" "What's wrong with me?" "Nobody wants me." "Nobody." "Nobody!" "Nobody!" "What the fuck are you doing here this plastic?" "Håkan That bastard." "It's all his fault." "A fat motherfucker." "And Christer is a bastard." "They're all bastards!" "We were attentive." "Thank you!" " I was Swedish champion in rhythmic gymnastics!" " Yup." "Look." "Look." "And look at me now." " It was definitely very good." " Indeed!" " I was good." "Swedish champion." " Here it is." " Someone has to help me!" " I'm trying myself." "Sixteen years of responsibility." "You can not understand what it means." "I was with you all the time, dick." "That's the problem." "Thing?" "Thank you." "You lied to me, Ebba." "Kamprad does not live there." "Do not you have done?" "How do you plan to take Kamprad?" "Do you think you will meet them with open arms?" "No one does." "Nobody!" "I am alone, damn it!" "Thank you so much, you are kind." "A Saab." "No wonder it's gone to hell." "Could you bring to IKEA?" " Ingvar Kamprad?" " Si." " Is that you?" " And who else?" "Have we met before?" "No, you have seen me on TV or in the newspapers." "You should make me a great favor." "You should keep it a secret." "Yes, I'm here to Älmhult." "Everyone thinks it's retired and I enjoy my life in Switzerland." "It is not by Kamprad, no." "Rather porridge servant employees." "For advertising, you know." "Someone will take it back with the phone." "So Kamprad ends on Youtube, and then goes on TV, in short, you know." " Marketing?" " Exactly." " What are we doing here?" " I have to get something." "I can walk from here." "No, no, no, it's an honor for me to accompany you to the door." " Well, the honor should not be taken away from anyone." " Indeed." "Fuck!" " Sjöberg ...?" " You are mine." "Ok." "Is a surprise?" "Who told you that?" "One of my children?" "No, they know nothing." "It must have been Bittan." "She likes surprise parties." "Stop, stop." "Please sign in." "Sit down." "His hands before." " Look, Sjöberg ..." " Give me your hands." "You need all of this?" "Then it is not a party to ..." "You're lying." "Stretch out your legs." "Ouch!" "Shit, Sjöberg ..." " My name is not Sjöberg." " Are you sure?" "What do you want?" "Money?" "Eh?" "Shoot a figure." " 16008." " Come?" "The working days." "How do you think they are worth?" " You have three children. one of them called." " But it's two in the morning!" "I have to go to the toilet." "I take it below." " Come on in." " Yup." "Thank you." "So, you are Norwegian, Sjöberg?" "I love Norway." "One of our best markets." "Do you want money?" "I'm not worth a shit." "I need a hand here." "Sjöberg?" "Non potresti ..." "Sjöberg?" " Give it to me, bent." " Yup..." " What is that smell?" " Aftershave." "No, no." "It enamel for furniture." "Ultra Premium, eh?" "Ultra Normal does the same thing for half the price." " Cutting costs ..." " You will pay for what you did." "Then it comes to money." "I know you've got the wrong man." "I'm not a wasteful." " I take the bus, flight in Economy ..." " It's not for that." "It is that IKEA has only one weak point." " Which?" " You." "IKEA will not die with me." "You can not take my life's work." "While you, after what you did, you can not go back to your normal life." "Be quiet." "You do not know shit of my life." "Hey?" "Hey!" "Åsane?" "Ciao!" "Ciao!" "Shut up!" " Hello, I wake you?" " No." " I should go, but yesterday ..." " Hello!" " Did you get it?" " No, now I'm busy." "Let me in, or I'll call the police." "Immediately!" "Hello, where are you?" "You're an activist of the left?" "A vegan?" "You are?" " And now what will you do with him?" " Yeah, what will you do with me?" " Next!" " Shut up." "Now we can not leave the room, my wife is taking a shower." " Come in an hour." " Ok." "He should call someone." "People need to know that you kidnapped." "Yes, I call them back, but would then know where they are." " You Do not have a cell phone?" " Even that can be drawn." "Yeah, I traccerebbero." "Trace all, now." "A photo, we can make a picture, or make a video." "So we can send him or streaming to a television channel." "Already!" "Contact the press, it is an excellent idea." "Good." "But you can not stay here." "We'll move." " Let's wait ... until tonight." " But you're better off doing it during the day." " During the day you not destereste suspects." " Shut up, you do not have to meddle." " I'm the one kidnapped." " He is kidnapped." "So you're married and have a son." "What does he do?" " Bladsmører." "Journalist." " Not bad!" "But you do not call you Sjöberg?" "I have three children." "The largest was 15 years old when he told me that he would replace me." "What impatience!" "You young people do not understand that the most important tasks of life require experience." "Some of my best ideas I realized after 70." "Your kids now I'm not so young." "They are the kind Prince Charles." "Prince Charles?" "And he got to do?" " Look here." " A pen." "No, no, no." "It's a pencil." "Do you understand?" "A pencil." "But because they have to be so long?" "The IKEA customers use them only once." "At least for me." "cost half." "We saved 40 million over the full year." "And I had 75 years." "Never overestimate the experience." "Am I right, Sjöberg?" ""Compact living"." " Who lives here?" " We." " Exactly, Sjöberg." " Thing?" "We live here." "Does your mother know that you're gone?" "Ebba?" "My mother calls me Håkan." "Because?" "Because I look like my father." "He hates me for it." " Why do look like your father?" " Yes a bit'." "He is?" "This Håkan." "Fantastic." "I should grow a mustache, so sembreremmo perfectly equal." " But what ..." " Christer?" "He is like all the others." "Disappears." "And then mom is unhappy." "And therefore we transfer again." "But now Mom has cleared up the ideas." " Coffee?" " Yes thanks." " Coffee?" " Nah." "I have a bit 'of hunger." "The black coffee ... no." "What would you have done if I was not here tonight?" "Maybe I would set fire to something." " Since fire to something?" " Yup." "Not necessarily something big." "A carton." "The mailbox of the neighbor." "You do not like things that burn?" "Or I fucked someone." " Are not you a little 'young?" " No." "Or I would have drunk." " Do you drink?" " Yup." "Better to drink that sniffing glue." "It becomes fools, sniffing glue." "It destroys brain cells." "Or the blows." "Pop, pop." "Such as plastic packaging." "You really have a sense of humor." " What would you do, if you were not here?" " I do not know." "You'll have something that you enjoy doing." "An hobby?" "Hunting, fishing, bridge." "Feed the pigeons?" " Did you ever have a hobby?" " Hobbies ..." "No, I've always worked." "I did not have time for hobbies." "I agree, Sjöberg." "Hobbies and pleasures are for the lazy and those without ambition." "For amateurs." "The work ennobles man." ""I apologize for all the junk that I sold you ..."" " "Junk", what does that mean?" " Something of poor quality." "Rubbish." "That's all?" "It was a Nazi!" "Nah." "Only a few meetings." "Youthful stupidity." " Child labor, then?" " Wow, the girl naive!" "That can not be avoided." "Bullshit." "What about all the good that we bring?" "Sit down." "From the beginning." "Read this." "Read!" ""I'm sorry for ... parciame ciar ..."" "I can not read this stuff." "I have dyslexia, my dear Sjöberg." " Stop calling me "dear"." " Can we stop now?" "How kidnapper're an amateur." "If you surrender now, the punishment will be minimal." "You made me come gastritis." "Arrhythmia." "Insomnia." "You have shown contempt for everything that I built." "You've labeled." "You've transformed from the company's pin laughingstock." "You throw shit on my mobile and I've burned like a match." "Do not come to talk about punishments!" "Wow..." "Already." "So, you are a furniture manufacturer." "But well." "I saw the newspaper." "You provided all Åsane, I think." "I have created 10,000 jobs in Sweden alone." "IKEA has donated many millions in funds for refugees." "I drive an old Volvo." "Tiragli a punch on the jaw!" "Ma, Sjoberg ..." "Costringereste an old to make a confession in a camper for revenge?" "For what would you use?" "No one would send air the movie." " Oh, no?" " But it is clear, my dear Sjöberg." "They can not act as spokesman for a criminal." " Your son ... what's his name?" " Jan!" "You never learned anything about media strategies, from him?" " For example, what?" " First rule:" "They must come to you." "Not the other." "Then you have to have something big and spectacular, very personal." "Something that is good for TV." "Your..." "I'm a little 'hungry." "Should not we eat something?" "Me too." "A portion of meatballs." "Yes, it could be good." "Remember the Snus *!" "(* Swedish moist tobacco)" ""I have created 10,000 jobs."" " We can show that we've got it." " That we should not spread it." "He tells you what he did." " What's her name?" " Thing?" "The ring." "Miserable." "Si chiama Marne." " Are you divorced, or ...?" " She's dead." "We have been married for 40 years." " It's possible?" " Yes, it is possible." " And Jan is an only child?" " Yup." " Poor." " Because?" "Well, to be sad." "No one to talk when your make a mess." " So you have brothers?" " Yeah." "Three younger brothers." "I usually do them babysit." "I sit next to them and talk until you fall asleep." "I know how loyal." "I know they need me." "Certainly are feeling miss you, now." " Do you think such a strange thing?" " No, of course not." "They live by dad." "Where I will go." "When this is all over." "Fuck!" "It is submitted in the woods!" "Run, Harold!" "Run!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Sjöberg!" "There they are, Sjöberg." "I was just getting the water." "Taking water!" "Could not you just get to the street and ask for help?" "Because?" "It was a lot that did not enjoyed myself so much!" " Ebba!" " Hai preso lo Snus" " Come help me, Ebba!" " You smile!" "Shit, that's Kamprad ends up on YouTube." " Come and get us out!" " Check." "Careful!" "It starts to get crowded here." "Take it." "What the fuck ..." " Now pull yourself up." " Catch it!" "Ebba Ebba Ebba ..." "What the fuck?" "Kamprad!" "You thought to escape, blockhead?" "Where you wanted to go?" "Ebb!" " You go, when someone needs you?" " I just wanted to seek help!" "What are you doing?" "Come on." "Damn girl." "body heat." "You have to keep each other warm." "No." " She's dying from the cold!" " I was in the water, not you!" "I'm sixteen." "What are you going to do?" "Come on, this way!" "But that bastard ..." "Clothing ... dry clothes are there?" "Ebb?" "Dry clothes in the machine." "There are dry clothes in the machine!" "Ebb!" "Ebb!" "Thank you." "Yeah, now I'm just like you." "You would have thought it?" "Yes Yes Yes." "So, Sjöberg." "Courage, Sjöberg!" " Are you crying?" " I can not stay here." "I understand." "You are young ... you have to be with other people." "Live life." "Meet guys." "You're so stupid." "Who would take care of my mother?" " This is not how it should be." " No, but it is." " I'll take you home tomorrow." " If that's what you want." "Yes, that's what I want." "If the Swedes have created the "Folkhemmet, it was Ingvar Kamprad to furnish it, the beloved entrepreneur Älmhult ..." " Hear, hear!" " Be quiet." "... Negative attention, aroused by his belonging to far-right groups." "But no, dammit ..." "Nazi ..." "It was the stupidest thing I've ever done, by far the most stupid." "I apologized almost a thousand times, but nobody listens to me." "Now that's what you think, when you think about Kamprad." "I know a journalist who you can call." " You can go." " Let me free?" "Yes, go." " But you can not take revenge." " Come." "Damn, Sjöberg ..." "You do not want...?" "Damn!" "Alright then." "Then I go, eh!" "Yes, I'm leaving!" " Bye Bye!" " I'll walk you home." " Continue." "It was pretty." " It's just something that I wrote long ago." " In the sense that you wrote it?" " Yup." "I recorded it on a cassette, you know?" " I wrote it for my mom." " So you liked it?" "He said he would listen to her, but it was a lie." "I finally pulled out the tape and I hung on the Christmas tree." "Was beautiful." "Sing me that song again." "Forget it." "Have you ever sung for someone?" "Not even for your brothers?" "I have no brothers." "No, well ... for your father, then?" "Håkan was a truck driver disappeared somewhere along the way." "You're good to say balls." "Merry Christmas!" " Hello!" "Hello, Ebba." " Hello!" " Where have you been?" " I'm lost." "Come on, come in!" " You need to leave, you." " No!" " No -?" "No -!" "Sparisci!" "But shit ..." "Ebba?" "Ebba also think that you have to leave." "What the fuck!" "I'm leaving!" " Me ne vado!" " Se ne va." "Yes, I was Swedish champion!" "Oh, congratulations!" " Do you want to see?" " Mom..." "See?" "Yes please." "Thanks, dear." "You see me?" " How did she die?" "Marny." " Fell." " And you were there?" " Yup." "He said something ... you know ... before ..." ""Shit."" " No ..." " It's the last thing you said." "And the last but one thing he said?" ""Holy shit."" " Sorry." "Is that ..." " I figured." "Now look!" "Help me, Ebba!" " You did good, Mom." " No ..." "Once I was good." "They were all looking at me." "Unfortunately now I stink." " It was very good." " Thank you." "I was champion of Scandinavia." "They came out in the newspapers." "But it was so long ago, ouch!" "Sjöberg?" "Well, it was too far to walk." " And then I fell asleep." " Ah." "Exit." "Quit!" "What the fuck is cold." "Could you accompany me ... at IKEA?" "Well..." "Typical." "The Saab ..." "I brought porridge to Christmas staff." "Will be anything left?" "Wait." "You do not come to have a snack?" "Del wine burned?" "I am, yes." "Well, one of my children." "Thing?" "If I come to Christmas dinner?" "No." "Because?" "Because I've been kidnapped." "Listen well now." "The turkey?" "Wait!" "I guess I can come there to cut the turkey if they kidnapped me." "Listen ..." "listen ... ready?" "But shit!" "Now we burn everything, and I call myself a journalist." "Charlotte?" "They are Kamprad." "Listen, what do you think of this?" ""Kamprad The first IKEA razed to the ground"." "No, wait..." "Stop it!" ""Kamprad fighting desperately for his beloved IKEA!"." "But do not you understand?" "Enough with the bullshit on tax evasion, child exploitation and Nazism." "Give me the phone!" "Are you OK?" "Yes, I think yes." "It was worse to cutting board." "durable stuff, you know." "159 crowns." "The kids think it's too cheap, but people have to afford to buy them." "Maybe they're right." "But yes, you can not continue forever." "We have to stop, as long as things go well." "Make yourself at home, Sjöberg!" "A casa mia?" "I sold qualities that over time has only improved." "You sell crap." ""The important thing is not the chair, but the man who is sitting on it," says Kamprad." "But it's true, I do furniture that last as long as the people." "Grow older, they chop them in pieces, and are replaced." "What the fuck ..." "Turn off the lights, please." "There, on the wall." "I'm tired." "And the coast of light." "Perhaps it would be better to be a hobby?" "Well well." "Merry Christmas ..." "Harold." "Fuck you!" "Need help, Jan. You have just divorced and you are unemployed, and you're a spoiled child, a self-centered and spoiled child." "I could say more, but I will not." "I am your father." "I am your father, and now I'm here." "What do you think?" "I am your father, and now I'm here." "What do you think?" "Yup." "Come in, then." "Dad, come in."