"I am Mr. Smilton." "You are the most relentless bounty hunters in the region." "There's no smokin' in here!" "[Spits] [Hiss!" "]" "Ugh!" "For months, a dog has been sneakin' into my stables and fornicating' with my prized racehorses." "All I know about him is he loves pickles." "Bring me his head." "[Animals calling wildly] Huh?" "Kill him!" "[All growl]" "Tommy:" "Mr. Pickles!" "S01E09 Where Is Mr. Pickles" "Good boy!" "Grandpa:" "We shouldn't be bringing Mr. Pickles." "Last time we went to a barbecue, he killed a bunch of people and..." "Beverly:" "Dad, not another" " "evil Mr. Pickles" story." " Grandpa:" "Ohh." "Tommy:" "Are you excited to go to Floyd's barbecue, Mr. Pickles?" "Mr. Pickles: [Barks]" "[Ominous music plays] [Growls]" "Stanley:" "Now, Floyd's a bit of an oddball, so his house might be a little..." "Oh, this must be it." " Floyd." "Nice house you have." " Oh, that's just an abandoned house." "Uh, I live over here." " Beverly:" "Oh, my." " And this is my wife." "Oh, you. [Both babble]" "Butter-dipped fried mayo oysters?" "Beverly:" "Mmm!" "I'll have to get your recipe." "Sure thing." "Come with me." "Mmm!" "Uh, that's enough for now." "[Chuckles nervously]" "Tommy:" "Dad, where's Mr. Pickles?" "Stanley:" "Uh, he'll turn up, Tommy." "Tommy:" "Aw." " Grandpa:" "Is that a whale?" " No, it's a shrimp stuffed in a crab stuffed in a flounder [Chuckles] in a turkey in a duck in a chicken in an otter in a manatee in a bear in an elephant in a whale." "It's a" ""shrabounturduckenottemanabearap hantale."" "Grandpa:" "Oh." "Mr. Pickles: [Barks]" "[Tires squeal] Tommy: [Gasps]" "Stop, or I'll shoot!" ""Shpow, shpow, shpow!"" "[Both giggle] Hey!" "I shot your kneecaps!" "Tommy:" "Sheriff!" "Mr. Pickles has been dognapped!" "[Ominous music plays] Now I give Mr. Smilton head." "Mr. Pickles: [Whines] Once decapitated, heads have life for up to seven seconds." "Mr. Pickles: [Whines]" "Last thing you will see is me burying your body." "Mr. Pickles: [Babbles demonically]" "Huh?" "Whoa!" "Hey!" "Get off my head!" "♪ Pickles ♪ [Groaning]" "Die!" "♪ Pickles ♪" "[Music stops] Mr. Pickles: [Panting]" "[Ominous music plays] [Spits]" "And over here is my gravy fountain." "That's my chande-lemon meringue pie." "Oh!" "And this is my ranch dresser." "[Chuckles, munches greedily] [Muffled]" "I keep my socks in there, too. [Laughs]" "Stanley:" "Well, for two telemarketers, you do better than I do." "Oh, I made my money winning wing-eating contests around the world." "Yeah." "I'm just a telemarketer 'cause it's fun. [Laughs]" "[Chomp!" "] Stanley:" "Huh." "[Country-Western music plays]" "Places like this are great for gettin' information... just got to know what to ask." "[Suspenseful music plays] How's your mama?" " Well, she's well, sheriff." " And your daddy?" " Well, he's well, sheriff." " Tommy:" "But we're looking for Mr. Pi... and your girlfriend, Sheena..." " Well?" " Oh, Sheena." " Yeah, she's well, sheriff." " Tommy:" "Aw." "Grandpa:" "You can't cook that whale with this little grill." "Well, I like to take my time till it's all hot and juicy." "Beverly:" "And then you put the beef inside?" "And you've got a three-foot beef-filled jelly donut." "[Munching noisily] Stanley:" "Everything you have" " is related to food." " Well, here's the gym I can't use anymore 'cause the door's been shrinking." "[Munching greedily] Stanley:" "Floyd, the door isn't drinking." "You're..." "[Dramatic music plays] getting fat." "No way. [Sniffles]" "Really?" "[Chomp!" "]" "Tommy:" "Nice to meet you, sheriff's mama." " Well, hello there, Thomas." " I told him we'd look for" "Mr. Pickles but first I had to brush your hair." " Huh?" " Too late!" "But Candy always gets to brush you." "[Babbles] [Gasps]" " Mama, candy made a bad face." " No tattletalin'." " But, mama..." " And no backtalkin'." " Ohh." " Don't you "aw" me, boy." " Aw." " Now you're on punishment." "Both:" "Ohh." "Grandpa:" "I want to start the fire." "Now, move over!" "All right, grandpa." "I'm the grill master." "Grandpa:" "No, I'm the grill master." "[Chomp!" "] Huh?" "Mr. Pickles: [Panting] [Chomp!" "Chomp!" "Chomp!" "]" "Grandpa:" "What are you up to, Mr. Pickles?" "[Ominous music plays]" "Mr. Pickles: [Whines] [Spits]" " Ugh!" " "Hi, Tommy." " Pleased to meet you."" " Tommy:" "Sheriff, what about Mr. Pickles?" "!" "Well, Tommy..." "[Slow, sappy piano plays] ♪ Sometimes a sheriff can feel a little sad ♪ ♪ sometimes a sheriff can be a little bad ♪ ♪ I tried to to find" "Mr. Pickles, asked all the right questions ♪" "♪ But mama put me on punishment, and it's time for my nap ♪" "[Snores] Tommy:" "Aw." "[Dramatic music plays] Mr. Pickles: [Whines]" "Thanks for luring him into my ambush." "I hate dogs." "Ugh." "[Ominous music plays]" "[High-pitched] Hey!" "You want to be my girlfriend?" "[Spits] [Hiss!" "]" "Ugh!" "No, I don't. [Crying]" "Besides, I was born without genitals." " Mr. Pickles:" "Mm?" " Then where do you go pee-pee" " and pooh-pooh?" " You don't want to know." "Mr. Pickles: [Barking] Shut up!" "Mr. Pickles: [Whining] Aww!" "He's so cute!" "[Suggestively] You can be my boyfriend if you go to the store" " and buy more Pickles for him." " My first girlfriend!" "♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la... ♪" "Idiot." "More money for me!" "Now I'm gonna cut your stupid dog head off. [Laughs evilly]" " Aah!" "My finger!" " Grandpa:" "Oh." "Hey." "Uh..." "Aw!" "[Rip!" "] [Flies buzzing]" "Grandpa: [Whimpering] Sheriff!" "Get over to the old house by Floyd's." "Mr. Pickles is here and..." "[Animals chittering]" "Oh!" "[Animals chittering]" "Huh?" "[Smacks lips]" "Well, Tommy, Mr. Pi... wait." "What is it, Abigail?" "My sheriff hat!" "Tommy stole it!" "Mama, we got a code 967." " Lost your sheriff hat again?" " Mr. Pickles is at the old house by Floyd's." "Mm." "Tommy must be there with my hat." "Me find dog. [Bell jingles]" "I need a jar of Pickles." "[Spits]" "[Bell jingles] Uh-oh!" "The sheriff!" "[Suspenseful music plays] Tommy:" "How's your mama?" "You know my mama?" "Don't tell her you saw me." "I wasn't doing anything." "[Whimpering]" " Tommy:" "And your daddy?" " My daddy?" "!" "Uh, he wanted me to be a good boy, not a criminal." " [Hiccups] Uh, oops." " Tommy:" "And how's your" " girlfriend, Sheena..." "Well?" " "Seen a whale?"" "Uh, yeah, she seen a whale." "It was at that fat guy's barbecue, where I used the pickles to lure the dog across the street." "Oops!" "Tommy:" "Now you're under arrest." "[Whimpering] [Spits]" "Mr. Goodman, I promised myself if I ever got fat..." "[Chomp!" "]..." "I'd kill myself." " Stanley:" "What?" " [Muffled] I want you to do it." "Stanley:" "Floyd, it's okay to be fat." "It's just..." "It is?" "[Panting]" "Let's celebrate. [Screams]" "Stanley:" "No, no, no, Floyd." "Don't you die on meeeeeeee!" "[Inhales deeply] My fat saved the bullet from" " getting to my bloody parts." " Stanley:" "Ohh!" "I guess it is okay to be fat!" "[Chomp!" "]" "[Chuckles] Beverly:" "Well, thank you so" " much for the recipes." " Grandpa:" "Everyone!" "[Gasps] Grandpa:" "There's been a murder!" "It was Mr. Pickles!" "Beverly: [Sighs] [Grunts]" " Here, doggy, doggy." " The sheriff is some kind of a mastermind!" "Huh?" "Tommy:" "Now, where's Mr. Pickles?" " That only boy in hat." " Tommy:" "Help!" "I can't see!" "[Metal clinking] Huh?" "[Horror music plays] Aah!" "[Flies buzzing] [Animals chittering]" "Huh?" "Me back up, horrified." "[Rip!" "] Aah!" "Me no like that smell!" "Tommy:" "Uh, what's happening?" "I can't see!" "Last chance... you find dog or... [hiss!" "] Huh?" "Mr. Pickles: [Barks] Aah!" "Mr. Pickles: [Barks] Tommy:" "Mr. Pickles!" "I found ya, boy. [Grunts]" "Huh?" "Where did you go?" "Mr. Pickles: [Whining] [Ominous music plays]" "Grandpa:" "He was right over here where I left him, in the... fire?" "!" "Mr. Pickles: [Barks]" "Tommy:" "I'll catch you!" "Just jump to me!" "Mr. Pickles: [Groans] [Heroic music plays]" "Tommy: [Grunts] Mr. Pickles!" "I saved you from the fire!" "[Laughs]" "Hey, my hat!" "Hey, a fire!" "Beverly:" "Dad, you trapped Mr. Pickles in a fire?" "!" " Grandpa:" "But Mr. Pickles..." " Looook!" " Grandpa:" "What?" " Now, that's how you get a fire going!" "I guess you are the grill master, grandpa!" "[Laughs]" " [Laughing] Yeah!" " Stanley:" "Well, I'm looking forward to eating a normal meal." "Huh?" "What?" "Tommy:" "Pickles?" "!" "Mr. Pickles: [Panting]" "Beverly:" "Not just pickles..." "they're stuffed with mayonnaise, rack of lamb, liver, melon doughnuts, whipped cream, ranch, rattlesnake, toothpaste, possum, shark, cherry cola, octopus, ice cubes..." "Lookin' for this?" "[Chuckles wickedly] Mr. Pickles: [Babbles [demonically] Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Ohh!" "[Flamenco music plays]" "[Horse neighs]" "[Gunshots]"