"Good morning and welcome to your retirement party." "Let me, first of all, emphasize the fact that you do have only six minutes in which to complete the entire operation." "And while this method of retirement may strike one as being somewhat impersonal," "I'm sure you realise that it is the only practical option in a company the size of ours." "For, even though, you may be the ninety-sixth employee celebrating retirement today, I've always held a certain interest," "yes, for you Howard, in particular." "Here, at Bolingbrook's Cocktail Food Factory, we pride ourselves in developing an executive-employee relationship quite unlike any of our competitors." "A relationship, that I as President of this company, can speak to you as Assistant Deputy Chief to the Second Banana Slicer Supervisor on an intimate level." "Even if the circumstance warrants that it be by proxy, the fact is, Howard, our tidy little motto, which I'm sure you've learnt by heart, puts our whole attitude in a nutshell." "Bolingbrooks is best." "As you will agree, aggressiveness is the key to successs." "And, when I took over the reins to this firm from my father at the age of nine and a half, many people thought that I wasn't quite ready for the responsibility." "But here I am, and there you are at a candy machine." "Now, while it is true that human power often seeks variety, we will want to think that a mind that strays too far from the job, would we, Howard?" "Not that I've never been disappointed in you, Howard." "Indeed, when one of your fellow employees, Chucky told me about your little escapades in the staff washroom, well, maybe, you should tell the story, Charles." ""Oh well Mr Bolingbrook, you know, I sees this guy, Howie, going into the can and I wait, and then I notice like this guy he's taken two, maybe three hours in there." "And so, I thinks to myself, Chucky, you better go tell Mr Bolingbrook." "And so..so I did." "And, you know, if you remember, we caught him just sitting there." "We opened the door, and..and it was just about then that I pointed and said:" "That's him, that's him right there."" "Thank you, Charles." "Well Howard, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones, and I wouldn't pursue the issue any further if it wasn't for that porteress," "Miss..." "I forget her name now." "Now, I realise that you hold..a certain ..what shall I say.." "affinity for the girl." "But really, that day you walked into my office!" "Well, you should have knocked." "In such traumatic situations, I suppose that it is only natural for one to desire...a return to innocence." "But really Howard, apples are such obvious symbols, are they not?" "Surely, you could have thought of something a bit more ingenious." "if not quite as subtle, but not so offending to one's better sense of proportion." "Yes, innocence." "I was informed that you really liked this girl..this porteress." "And some sources also added that she held a..an affection for you as well." "Very attractive girl Howard, very attractive, and a good worker too." ""Howard, you know, I always liked you." "But I never knew quite what I was to say to..to you." "You know Howard, I just wanted to reach out and touch you, just..just to let you know how I felt."" "Realistically Howard, a man of your age!" "And besides, I'm sure you have other things to occupy your mind." "A man your age!" "It's most unfavourable in my eyes." "And even if one is facing conflict with one's superiors, one will always have the honest friendship and counsel of one's fellow employees." ""Ya, like the time when we was all together in the lunch room..." "You know, just have a smoke..sort of.." "and we were just sitting around.." "and then I thought it would be kind of funny to reach over and grab Howie's lunch bag." "So, I did it." "And then emptied it out and we grabbed some food each of us and then we made his lunch into baby food...ha ha...baby food."" "Yes Charles." "That's very funny I'm sure." "You and Howard have had some really good times together, haven't you?" ""Er..yes, Mr Bolingbrook."" "Try as we may to cut corners, to make our job easier, such as failing even to fulfill our assigned tasks, I'll always be there to regulate." "Really, Howard, throwing away with company bananas!" "Well, your time is almost up." "Ah, but wait, I'd almost forgotten about our little encounter in the shower, haven't I?" "Now, Howard, as you know, company employees are only allowed to take showers after they get off their shift." "But you, with full malice aforethought, defied that very regulation" "And, as much as I admire aggression, defiance is a trait that we don't need in this firm." "And you dared take a shower on that fateful day." "My punishment was just." "Besides, if you think our bananas are dispensable." "One deserves what one earns and resents what one yearns." "You can't hate me, Howard." "You're quite incapable of anything that commands more emotional stress than petty annoyance." "Now, get out!" "Oh wait, Howard, before you go, we'd like you to look at the camera." "The camera." "That's right." "On your side." "That's good." "Now, it is the policy of this company to keep a photographic record of all the employees that have passed through our files." "And you, being the man you are, may like to strike a different pose." "Now, why don't you pretend you're a rabbit." "A rabbit." "C'mon..a bunny." "That's right." "Put your paws together." "Good... good." "Don't shake." "What are you frightened of?" "Don't shake." "That's good." "Now wince." "Wince." "Wiggle." "Wince." "Good...good." "Chucky let's have some..." "let's have some rabbit music." "That's good." "Now, faster Howard..." "a bit faster...faster...faster, Howard." "Howard you can go faster." "Faster." "Faster, Howard." "Faster, faster, faster, faster, faster faster, faster, faster, faster, faster faster, faster, faster, faster, faster." "Stop." "Aw, why are you so sad?" "A sad bunny." "Don't turn me off." "I can do it myself." "Just go to the porteress." "Tell her to send the next retiree in." "You can pick up your gift at the front desk." "If you don't like it, you can get a cash refund." "Howard, close the door." "Close it." "Good morning, and welcome to your retirement party." "Let me, first of all emphasize the fact that you do have only six minutes in which to complete the entire operation." "And while, this method of retirement may strike one as being somewhat impersonal," "I'm sure you realise that it is the only practical option in a company the size of ours." "For, even though, you may be the ninety-sixth employee retiring today, I've always held a certain interest, in you." "Yes you, David, in particular." "Mr Secretary, how much time do we have?" ""Well, Mr Bolingbrook, the last one was a bit short."" "That's good." "Plenty of time." "Now as I was saying..."