"Let me guess, Franklin and Bash?" "Yes." "But we don't have an appointment." "Oh, you're probably good." "Roll this way." " I do not." " Yes, you do." "You do not wash the sink after you shave." "You leave toenail clippings all over the place." "What?" "No, I don't." "Prove it." "How?" " Offer tangible proof." " Tangible proof." " Clients here to see you." " We're on a conference call." " Margot." "I told you that would work." " Hey." "Show him." "Show him." "That is great." "Look at that." " A thing of beauty." " Piece of work." " Did you find her on the strand?" " In the marina." " Margot and I had a lovely afternoon." " Yeah." "These floors are sick." "I'm gonna go do crossovers." "Actually, you're not." "Come with me." "Innovative thinking." "That's exactly what I'm looking for." "It was sort of our marketing style at our old firm..." "Franklin  Bash, LLC." "Although you weren't actually a limited liability corporation, were you?" " We just like the way " LLC" sounds." " Like anybody ever checks." "Gentlemen, I would like to put you on retainer." "Let me get you a chair, Mister..." "Lang." "Carter Lang." "I thought you two would have a better poker face." " This is our poker face." " Because we're thinking:" ""This is the CEO of Groton Financial who gave himself $20 million... "" "" Even as his company and all its shareholders went down the crapper. "" "Yeah." "But I'd like to try to change all that." "I'd like to try and compensate all those who have suffered due to my more regrettable executive decisions." " What, did you find God?" " We'll find out soon enough." "Last week, I went for my annual physical." "I have the prostate of a 19-year-old but the pancreas of a zombie." "I have two months to live." " Dude, that sucks." " Sorry." "No, it's okay." "I've actually never felt more alive, knowing I'm gonna die soon." "But I only have a little bit of time left." "I need to aggressively liquidate the assets to compensate the shareholders, and that's why I need you two." "Estate and corporate law aren't our strengths." "No, no, no." "I have a fleet of corporate lawyers to handle all of that." "You two, you bring other skills to the table." "We'd like to help you out." "Yeah, if it's gonna help pay back some of the people that you've screwed over." "Gentlemen, I assure you it will." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." " I'll be in touch." " All right." "Oh, by the way do you happen to have Margot's number?" "She promised me she'd teach me to longboard." "I'm sorry." "I don't have..." "No, what do you need?" "Home number, cell?" " What?" " Nothing." "You know, I've dealt with a few of these Carter Langs in my time and I must say, these death-bed conversions make me very sceptical." "Guy seems to have had a change of heart." " We all make mistakes." " He was on skates." "Bad guys don't roller-skate." "There's science that backs that up." " We feel good about this." " All right, good." "Then congratulations." "I guess you guys should be rewarded for landing such a big fish so here are my floor seats for Staples tonight." " Hanging with Jack." " Yeah." "More like Penny Marshall." "These are Clipper tickets." "It's Carter Lang, not Bill and Melinda Gates." "The blowback for representing this turd could be quite significant." "All right, third nacho boat was a bad idea." " You think?" " Unless I die tomorrow then I will regret having not had that third round of deliciousness." "You are not gonna die tomorrow." "A fortnight ago, Lang thought the same thing." "What, are you Samuel Clemens?" "I am Samuel Clemens." " Hey." " What are you doing here?" "Carter Lang sent over some files." "Figured you might want to get started." "So you meet this Allen yet?" "No, but it's only been two weeks." "It is weird you're still texting." "Well, I'm trying to figure out if he wants something more or to be just, you know, FWB." "Debbie, you are talking to two of the masters of text subtext." " All right, read one." "Come on." " Come on." " " I dreamt about you last night. "" " Okay." "He definitely wants benefits." "So keep it light and flirty." "Write back, "Would you consider us closer friends now?"" " Yeah, we're that good." " Okay, thanks." " I'll see you guys tomorrow." " All right." " Yeah." " Wait." "What, that's it." "A half-day?" " See?" "Kids." " Yep." "Kids and their rock 'n' roll." "YouTube." " Hey." " Hello." "You delivered Carter Lang to Franklin and Bash?" "He wasn't wearing a sign that said, " Litigious scumbag millionaire. "" "Besides, I got my eye on some bigger game." " Who?" " Abha Jaya." "Founder of Mandolin Exports?" "Everyone's been trying since she fired her lawyers but no one has because she is bananas." "Which means she's fragile." "There's only one way to catch a butterfly:" " Get close and let her land on you." " You want in?" " We work good together." " Yeah, we made some rain." "We need to add one more to our team." " Abha is Indian." " Yeah?" "Of the 116 lawyers we have here and in New York we only have one of Indian descent." "So we use Pindar to help sign her then we hip-check bubble boy into the boards." "Oh, that's totally heartless." "Let's do it." "Gentlemen." "I may have a problem." " Chafing?" " Wrong door." "This is solutions." "Like you might be able to liquidate half of Groton Financial's foreign assets without going through receivership." "That may pay back some shareholders." "Excellent." "Not exactly what I'm talking about." "Oh, if you're getting me the ironic male stripper again, not the time." "There's always time for strippers." "Are you Carter Lang?" "Yes, that's Carter Lang." "I work with him." "Jared, Peter, I'd like you to meet my protégé, Johnny Stills." "John Stills, thank you." "Mr. Lang, you're under arrest for grand larceny." "Guys, hold up." "As CEO, Mr. Lang is within his rights..." " ... to liquidate Groton's assets." " Super." "I'm talking about my boat." "He stole it." " What?" " No way." "Johnny, please." "Where would I hide an 80-foot yacht not to mention the considerable proceeds from its rapid foreign sale?" "I don't know, somewhere I couldn't find them?" " You have any proof?" " Yeah, 20 knots in a no-wake zone." "Harbour master got him on video." "We'll burn you a DVD." "Gentlemen, time to earn your money." " Hey, what are you doing in first class?" " I've been promoted to Major Crimes." "Really?" "We wipe the floor with you every month and you fail upward?" "Not exactly." "Our load's been heavy and with your ex-fiancée on a two-week Italian honeymoon and bangfest, Harrison put me on this." "Ladies." "" Bangfest. "" "Your Honour, the fact that Lang paid himself millions while costing investors their life savings should not impact on your ability..." " ... to be impartial in setting his bail." " Thank you, Ms. Swatello." " Bail is set at $1 million." " Your Honour, come on." " They take cash, right?" " Yes." "I think we can post that right now." "Your Honour, we can post that right now." "Oh, look." "They washed off all the blood." "I know who Abha Jaya is." "She's the founder of the Mandolin Exports empire and is looking to expand into the U.S." "Correct." "And we thought with your extensive knowledge of local tax codes that you could help us." "Oh, and the fact that Pindy is Indian and so is Abha?" "Oh, my God, I had not even thought of that." " Did you?" " No." "That's an added bonus." "Thank you for pointing that out..." " Carmen." " Carmen." "He is not interested in signing clients." "If he wanted to work in sales he'd go back home, work at a call centre in Mumbai." "They called me, okay?" "Jeez." "Are you familiar with minders, finders and grinders, Pindar?" "Yes, minders tak e care of clients, finders sign new ones..." " ... and grinders do the grunt work." " And what are you?" "Somebody has to descend into the mine hunt for precedents and obscure law." "I am proud to be a grinder." "Fair enough, but do you get the respect you deserve from Franklin and Bash for being a grinder?" "Pindar, tell the truth." "Yes, he does." "Let us know if you change your mind..." " ... and you'd like to join our team." " I will." "Crap." "If you can't close Pindar, how are you...?" "I'm sorry." "Was I alone on this call?" "When you said " liquidating assets" we assumed you meant company assets." "Company assets, yes." "That's adorable." "You two have no idea how Wall Street works, do you?" "Groton Financial is a carcass." "It's been picked clean by upper management." " You mean by you." " And a lot of others." "If I want to reimburse people, I have to go where the meat is now." "I bet posing as a vendor's a good way to break into a house." " Sorry?" " Nothing." "One pretzel, my good man, extra mustard." "Thank you." "What are you planning?" "I have kind of a bucket list." "I have a feeling it's not learning French or playing Pebble Beach." "If any of those things are illegal, as your lawyers..." " ... we have to inform you..." " No, no." "No, I'm not listening to you." "Delicious." "Can you believe I used to spend $400 on lunch?" "Keep the change." "Put them in a good trade school." "That's where the future is." "Thank you, sir." "Keep the pretzel cart." " Yacht money." " Okay, that was pretty cool." "Well, the working stiffs deserve a break." "There's a lot of other guys out there, sleazy guys guys like John Stills." "They deserve something else." " You know..." " Gentlemen I don't have a lot of time to do what is right." "You're not gonna change my mind." "This is my temple." "Karp and Hanna asked for your help to sign a client?" "Why?" "Quit acting so surprised." "I have things to offer." "Why would you have hired me?" " You double as our IT guy." " You paid to be our intern." " The client and I have a lot in common." " Like what?" "Overlapping phobias." "We both collect Pez dispensers." "We both kept all our baby teeth." "What kind of legal support will you provide besides being her mirror image of crazy?" "That has not yet been clearly defined, and you offend me." "Just watch your back with Karp." "And who has my back here, huh?" "I am going to lend my expertise to Karp because I am a grinder." " What's with him?" " Really?" "You ask that now?" "You know, I hate to pop your bromance bubble but you two could learn to be more appreciative of the things people do around here." " Think she's right?" " It's food for thought." " Pindar." " It's for you." "Man." "Hello?" "Are you kidding me?" "So your own naked fun run is part of the bucket list?" "Yes, it is." "You should try it sometime." "Had to give it up, bad knees." "And how does getting arrested on a nude jog help the shareholders?" "It's not all about money." "I want them to feel satisfied." "I have a feeling a humiliating shot of me in the newspapers ought to make them smile." " You believe him?" " I don't know but I'm betting they'd prefer the cash." "Yes, we promised Mr. Lang would stay out of trouble but, as we stated earlier..." " ... he's dying." " And trying to achieve closure." " Naked in a neighbourhood with families." " You wish he was in yours?" " What?" "Your Honour?" " What?" "This is a misdemeanour." "Bail for indecent exposure..." " ... is $10,000, correct?" " Yep." "But except that this is his second offence in the last 24 hours." "The people request bail in the amount of two..." "Five..." "Ten..." " Ten million dollars." " Your Honour..." "It's all right." "It's okay." "I can have that for you by tomorrow." "Okay, bail is set at $10 million." "What is he doing here?" "In light of recent revelations we ask that this man be held without bail." " What revelations?" " He broke into my house." "I forgot to hydrate, Johnny." "I had to have a drink." "Out of a $8000 bottle of Pinot Seurat?" " That's high, John." " That's not the point." " You stole from me." " The tannins were all..." "Are you accusing Lang of breaking and entering?" "Yes, Your Honour." "He also stole approximately $5 million in bearer bonds." "Ms. Swatello, do you have any evidence against Mr. Lang?" "He was apprehended a block from Stills' home." "Circumstantial." "Where his clothing was found in Stills' wine cellar." "Dude, you are so much better as a white-collar criminal." "I had to nude-up to get out the window." "It was a very tight space." "I know what you're doing." "More than I can say for your barber." "Really?" "Interesting, coming from you." "Know a lot about haircuts?" " Mine is a genetic problem." " Genetic?" "Really?" "Enough." "That's two felonies and one misdemeanour within 24 hours Mr. Lang, not quite three strikes but close enough for me to remand you without bail." "This time, you're staying in jail." " Bailiff, get him out of here." " That went well." "How are you?" "Good to see you." "Jared's checking in with Lang's doctor." "Get him to testify, we might get some leniency." " That's smart." " Yeah." "Seems like Lang's trying to fix things." "It's better to give with a warm hand than a cold one which is why I give 10 percent of my income to 73 different charities worldwide." " I'll remember that." " You don't have to." "I can take care of it." "How about half your bonus to Save the Children?" " I'll put it in a side letter." " Thank you." "No." "Thank you." " Hey, I talked to Lang's doctor." " Not good?" " No." " He's got less than two months to live?" "Worse." " Hey, Carter." " Carter." "One of the advantages of being a pariah, I get a single." "And I can finally get to reading again." "I just hope I have time to finish The Brothers Karamazov." " I think you're gonna get there." " Yeah." " We have some news." " Yeah." "We went and saw your doctor today." "It helps to get a doctor's note when getting leniency." " It's like high school, really." " Is there a problem?" "No, more of a development." " You were misdiagnosed." " What?" " What have I got?" " Nothing." "There was a mix-up in the lab." "You're a healthy 48-year-old man." "Wait." "Wait." "Wait." "I'm healthy?" "Yeah." "Except, you know, you're in jail for, what?" " Many, many years." " Like, a lot." "Well, you did break the law." "I was told I was dying." "You told me that would be mitigating." "Well, it's not foolproof." "I mean, theoretically, everybody is dying." "All right, let's try and find some way to mitigate this, shall we, boys?" "Hey, we're on the same team." "No, no, no, that would imply we're teammates, equals." "You work for me." "I have another meeting." "Start." "Yes, okay, well, we have over 100 lawyers here and in New York..." "I don't fly." "I'm aviophobic." "You don't have to fly." "We have infrastructure in place on both coasts." "I lik e intimacy." "Don't think because you have a lot of lawyers, it's going to impress me." "Oh, look." "A lawyer on your team who looks lik e me." " Where do I sign?" " Sorry I'm late, guys." "A cookie might have been made where peanuts, soy, and milk are pack ed." "I had to double-check the expiration on my EpiPen." "Crisis averted." "Let's..." " Yes..." " I never leave home without my EpiPen or latex gloves." "Masks aren't just for SARS." "SARS." "Another reason all birds should be destroyed." "You can't go anywhere without your wipes and hand sanitiser." "Tell me about it." "I developed an immunity to over-the-counter sanitisers." "So I mak e my own out of k erosene, aloe vera and my own patented bleaching ingredient." "I am intrigued." "I look forward to meeting you, Pindar, in person." " Let's schedule a meeting." " That would be fine." "Pindar's not gonna be part of the travelling team." "He's agoraphobic." "Well, as someone who has her own psychological issues, I understand." "I was diagnosed with a new one today:" "stimulatic acute reflux." " That's quite impressive." " I'll come to you, Pindar." "I don't know if that's the best..." "My office will send my allergy list to you." "Bye, now." "Guys, that went fantastic." "Great job, team." "Okay, on the count of three, let's break." "One..." "Man cave." "Awesome." "Maybe we caught him on a bad day." "Let's cut him some slack." " Here you go." " Thank you." " I'm guessing no face time yet?" " We're both busy." "Debbie, men who text only want sex." "Why?" "Because it rhymes?" "We know how men manipulate women the "Oh, shucks, I'm just shy and quirky." "Let's take it slow. "" " Next, you're naked in a bouncy house." " It's been known to happen." "Maybe I like the bouncy house." " You try to help some people." " Yeah." " We try." " We try." "Mr. Stills, is it true that you purchased the items..." " ... that were liberated from your home..." " Stolen." "The yacht, the Pinot Seurat, even the bearer bonds." "Those were all bought by bonus money you received from 2006 to 2010?" " Yes, I believe so." " That's a hell of a bonus." "Would you tell the jury the accounting practices..." " ... that allowed you that?" " Objection." "Relevance." " Mr. Stills is not on trial." " Sustained." "Mr. Stills, you mind if I tell you a story?" "Do I have a choice?" "Peter and I were a couple months behind on rent once." " I think it was like seven?" " What?" " Seven." " One night we came home to find our $1800 TV missing." "Our landlady took it to make up for the rent she was owed." "Now, Mr. Stills, did Mrs. Harrelson steal our TV?" " Yes, I would say she did." " That's what we said." "But she didn't." "The doctrine of right to self-help allows corrective measures to be taken by private citizens in order to redress gross injustices." "That's what Carter Lang was doing by returning the shareholders' money." "Carter Lang is not a landlord." "Do we really need to hear this?" "Listen to it if you want." "I respect your creativity, Mr. Franklin so I'll give you a little leeway." "Do you have any substantive evidence?" "What we're doing here is kind of arguing by analogy." "Well, then, here's an analogy for you." "If this court were a creek, you, counsellor, don't have a paddle." "That's a lame analogy." "Ours were way better." " Excuse me?" " We agree, Your Honour." "That's it, the self-help thing?" "What, is this lawyer camp?" " We've had success with analogies." " You did steal a lot." "Some of it while naked." "You know what Wall Street got right?" " Skyboxes?" " Ukrainian hookers?" "Motivation, bonuses employees that eat what they kill." "I'd like to see if I can motivate you boys." "Oh, Carter, we can't take bonuses on the outcome of your case." " We can't?" " No, you misunderstand." "You reviewed the penal-code sections for burglary prior to my breaking into that house." "My office sent you files and blueprints of Johnny Stills' house." " So..." " Well, it's just with those records it wouldn't be hard to make a case that you two had prior knowledge of my future crimes." "I think that makes you accessories and given your reputation and the way that prosecutor looked at you..." "Carter, threatening us isn't gonna do any good." "Really?" "Because I find that fear is a much better motivator than money." "I liked you a lot better when you were dying." "Go to Stills." "Tell him to get the DA to drop the charges and I will give him back some of his toys." "And try not to be total pussies and give away the whole farm." "Hello." "You must be Ms. Jaya." "Please come in." "Mr. Singh is expecting you." "Just so you know, we're not sure what you're gonna see in here." "Pindar has roommates, so he's not responsible for the condition of his home." "Ms. Jaya, thank you so much for coming today." "A gift, from my personal Pez collection." "First edition?" "These are priceless." "Thank you." " Tea?" " Thank you." "That would be lovely." " And so is your home." " Thank you." "No way he has a case, right?" "It's just a desperate threat by a desperate guy." "There's no way we'd do hard time." "The Buddha says that physical deprivation can lead to spiritual enlightenment." " We're gonna bite the pillow." " Boys, nothing's changed." "Carter Lang is still your client, period." "So just win his freedom." "Well, okay, here's the thing." "He's really, really guilty." "Oh, and one more thing, he's a total dick." " Nevertheless." " Yeah, well, all right." "We could go to Stills and talk to him about dropping the charges if Lang returns the stolen property." "And what about the other Groton Financial execs who made a bundle?" " No, Lang only went after Stills." " Which is odd because there was a cabal who got rich." "Yeah, why did Lang only go after Stills?" "I suggest you find out." "Here we go." " Mr. Stills, can we talk to you?" " No." "We noticed that Lang focused his efforts on you." "Why do you think you're the only employee he stole from?" "We'll call every employee to the stand and suss it out." " Who knows what might turn up?" " Can't imagine what it'll do to the stock." " Oh, not good." "Hope so." " Probably gonna plummet." "Plummet." "A year ago, the board decided that I was gonna become the new CEO of Groton." "He isn't happy." "He thinks that I took his job." "That's why he was ripping you off?" "He looked at the rest of his time as a "What the hell?" So he went after me." "Why didn't you say anything?" "That would establish motive." "Because the board wants to keep the transfer of power drama-free, right?" "So Carter Lang wasn't just stealing from you..." " ... to reimburse the shareholders?" " Carter?" "That's rich." "You want to know what he calls shareholders?" "The dumb money." "He was compensating them because it would look good in his obit." "And let me tell you something." "If he walks out a free man, don't think that another Fortune 500 company won't hire him as their CEO." "An ordinance is prohibiting me from building a clearance centre in Turlock that exceeds 100,000 square feet." " I need to get around it." " Our best course of..." "That's discrimination." "We'll challenge the legislation." " A judge in..." " Go to the court of appeals." "Local governments can't set these restrictions." " It might be better..." " Do you have kids?" " Excuse me?" " Who made that?" " That would be..." " Artwork." " Artwork." " From your niece." "From my niece." "In kindergarten." " She used rice." " That's not rice." "What is that?" "It looks like..." "Oh, those are..." "Oh, that's toenail clippings." " Oh, no, no, I'm sure they're not." " Really?" "I'm sure it's..." "Oh, God." "It's toenails." "Who would make art out of toenail clippings?" "So close to where food is prepared." " Are you okay?" " I must lay down." " Okay." " No, no." "Not here, not here." "I must get out of here." "And call 911." "Ask for Eduardo." "Tell him Pindar sent you." "He's my friend." " Hi." " Okay." "I'm not entirely surprised." "It was Peter and Jared." "Peter was upset Jared was leaving his toenails in the sink." " Shut up." "Shut up." " I'm not gonna touch it." "I was..." " Get rid of it, but..." " Shut." "So scary." "Fifty-four miles per hour." "Wouldn't make it in the majors." "There goes my career as a dart pitcher." " So hypothetically..." " I'm listening." "...we lose this case, Carter gets convicted, goes to jail law-abiding people stop getting screwed out of retirement funds." "Yeah, and we do jail time too." "But we'd be taking a selfish and dangerous criminal off the street." "We're not prosecutors." "We're advocates for our clients." "What are you getting at?" "Come on." "Performance art is one thing." "Throwing a case is another." "We take a risk every time we pull a stunt." "All I'm talking about is taking a bigger risk with less chance for acquittal." "What's wrong with that?" "Or are you just afraid of doing jail time?" "Dude, look at me." "I'm a walking dessert cart." "What are you talking about?" "I'm the cute one." "Come on." "I hit the bull's-eye, we do society a favour." "Say it out loud." "We take a dive." "I hit anywhere else, we represent our client properly." "Come on." "The chances of me hitting that bull's-eye are very, very low." " So, what do you say?" " Go for it." " We were joking." " Yeah, we're big into hypotheticals." "I said go for it." "Now do what is right." "Forget it, Pindar." "You're done." "She never heard my plan to get around the zoning." "And she never will." "We had an inside track, you blew it." "Now we're lumped into a dog-and-pony show at her restaurant with a bunch of other firms to win her over." " Let me come." " No." "I will post a guard at the door." "This is not fair." "You know, Pindy, if you really want to go..." " ..." "I'll take you." " I would, but I fear just the sight of my face will cause Ms. Jaya to go into some sort of toenail seizure." " The lunch is at On Lock's, right?" " Yes." "If there are laptops there, I could teleconference my way in or if somebody can sneak my PDA onto the table..." "No, that won't work." "Karp or Hanna will just shut it down." "Okay, I have an idea." "It'll take a unique delivery system, but that just might be its charm." "Technically, I went about it the wrong way." "But if returning the money to the shareholders makes me guilty then you better lock me up right now." "Prosecution has no problem with that." "Sarcasm, the poor man's wit." "Sorry." "Did I just hear Janie practising her orgasms in Italian?" "But it felt good, though, right giving that money back to all those that deserved it?" "Yes, it felt great." "I wish I could have done more." "You know what else feels good?" "Payback." " I don't follow." " A lot of people have a lot of reasons to hate you, don't they?" " I suppose." " You suppose?" "Dude, I mean, forget the thousands who lost their jobs or life savings and pensions." "Let's talk about your private life." " Let's not." " How you were the first in your community to put up a fence." "How tall was it?" "Was it 10 feet, 12?" "We could have the question read back, Mr. Lang, if you'd like." " Fourteen feet." " Fourteen-foot security fence." "Yeah, I guess a $9 million, 27-room Cali-terranean needs security mostly from the ex-wife, correct?" " Do I have to answer that?" " Sorry, sorry." "Wives." "I mean, probably a good investment." "Cheated-on wives get hot when they get screwed out of alimony." "And they all got what, zero?" "Is that right?" " I take the fifth." " Too late." "You do that when you took the stand." "Right?" "Yes, and this questioning better have a purpose, counsellor." "I do have something to say about Franklin and Bash." "And we'd love to hear it as soon as I'm done." "Now, why don't you shut up and answer my questions." "Did you tell your client to shut up?" ""Go screw yourself" seemed inappropriate." " I don't have to take that." " You're right." "The law requires you be represented by competent lawyers." "I suggest you two get your act together or I will declare a mistrial." "You're absolutely right, Your Honour." "I'm sorry." "Keep your foot on the gas." "In 1998, our firm was instrumental in challenging local laws and environmental laws in getting the ballpark built on the waterfront." "Let us do the same for your company." "That's great, but you haven't told me how." "What I hear is what you've done with former clients but not what you'll do for me." "And now you're out of time." "But you haven't heard our presentation." "I think Infeld Daniels had their chance, Ms. Linden." "Thank you all for coming." "I will make my decision tomorrow." ""A business venture planted up north will soon bear fruit. "" "" Land-use caps and ordinances outlawing big-box superstores are enacted to protect small, local businesses. "" "What's going on?" "" Put Mandolin into that category just like Whole-Mart v. Colton County. "" ""A 100,000-square-foot space could easily be two 50,000 or even three 30,000-square-footers and be within code. "" "" For more details, contact your team at Infeld Daniels Damien Karp, Hanna Linden, and Pindar Singh. "" " How cute." " I know, right?" "And thank you for lunch." "Even your employees hated you." "Cash bar at the last Groton Christmas party?" "Come on." "I was implementing a policy of corporate austerity." "While you gave yourself a 400 percent raise." " Mr. Franklin..." " Your Honour, some leeway?" "We're trying to demonstrate that Mr. Lang is not a nice guy." "In fact, he is a blue-ribbon, grade-A, top-shelf A-hole." "Actually, that was Ellen's job to prove, but we did it better." "But, Mr. Lang, even someone as despicable as you can change, right?" "Would you say that you've changed and seen the error of your ways?" "Yes." "Yes, profoundly." "And to correct those ways, are you not legally giving $129 million, almost the balance of your personal estate to the shareholders of Groton, many of whom are here in court?" "What?" "I'm sorry." "I'll speak up." "I said, are you not willing to put in writing that you will liquidate your assets to pay off the debt to your shareholders?" " Yes." " Objection, I think." "Withdrawn." "No." "I object." "We are still in the guilt phase." "Whether or not Mr. Lang feels remorse has nothing..." " Sustained." " Thank you." "The prosecution's right, for once." "Mr. Lang is guilty." "Guilty of feeling guilty and also of doing something about it which is also why he agreed to spend the next two years doing volunteer work, correct?" "No." "Yes." " In Haiti." " Haiti?" " I'm going to Haiti?" " Haiti." "I couldn't believe it, either." "Sharing his vast expertise with the small-business owners there." "Your Honour." "Approach the bench?" "Your Honour, none of this is relevant." "I don't want to go to Haiti." "You just said you would, under oath." "I'm happy to add a perjury charge." "Oh, perjury." "That would add at least, what, three years?" " At least three years." " Yeah." "If your client pleads guilty to a lesser charge agrees to pay back all that money, and leaves for Port-au-Prince by the weekend, he's out of jail today." "If not, we'll find out exactly how much this jury hates you, Mr. Lang." "Your call, Mr. Lang." "Have to pull city-planning files on Merced County." "Already on it, captain, my captain." "Bye, Damien." "Love you, Hanna." " Love you, Pindy." " What the hell is going on?" "I'm a team player." "I am loved." "In your face." "Suck on that." "If I could leave the house, I would..." " Here." " What is the deal with Pindy?" "Who knows?" "Cabin fever, Tourette's, scurvy." " Hey, congratulations." " Thank you." " Aren't you gonna ask me about Allen?" " No." "No, ma'am." "He asked me to dinner Saturday night." "Capo in Santa Monica." "There you go." "We were wrong." "That's when his wife will be out of town." " We were right." " So I should say no, right?" "I was joking." "Okay, " no," angry face." "No, wait, Debbie." "That's a bummer." " I hope you're okay." " I think so." " No sex, no harm, no foul." " Good." "We should make sure you, Carmen and Pindy get raises for all the hard work you do." "It's better to give with a warm hand than a cold one." " That is very sweet of you." " Yes, it is." "Infeld Daniels usually gives the raises." "Who said that warm hand had to be mine?" " Nicely done, boys." " Hey, thank you." " I knew you'd do the right thing." " Thank you, sir." "And if we hadn't?" "Oh, well, it would have been incumbent upon me to have you both disbarred." "By the way, did you know that I won the European Pub Cup in '86?" "I nailed it with a treble 18 with my last dart." " I think I read that somewhere." " You know what?" "Give me one of your hypotheticals." "I feel like I'm in the zone." "Okay, you hit the bull's-eye, I get Kate Moss and Isabeli Fontana and your cabin in Taos." " If you miss it..." " Miss it his bonus goes to Save the Children." " Excellent." " Wait." "What?" "Oh, dear." "I'm sorry." "No, two out of three, two out of three." "All right, that's fair." "That's fair." "Well, with regrets from Kate and Isabeli." "But on behalf of the children, thank you." " Seriously, what happened?" " You gave with a warm hand." " I'll give you a warm hand." "Nothing." " What?" "Unfair." "I don't even like children." "They like you." " But that's because..." " You're the same size." "Shut up."