"_" "So, what, what happened?" "I was playing Ludo on your laptop and I fell asleep." "And when I woke up, the stuff was gone." "Ryan." "His name was Ryan." "So, after you lost your virginity, you started playing Ludo?" "Yes, but that has nothing to do with the crime committed against this household," " so please don't tell Mummy." " Yes, but why would you play Ludo" " after you lost your virginity?" " I lost my virginity before you, Tracey." " Yes, yes, yes." " Wow, OK." "You can't change it, so stop being angry at me for it." " I'm surprised, too." " I'm not surprised." "I'm not surprised at all man, look, you can't be surprised by nothing these days, you know?" " And you're not angry with me?" " No." "No, there is no anger, there's no surprise." "Shocking." "Shocking." "This girl lost her virginity before ME?" "I, meanwhile, have been hustling from day." "I had the boyfriend, I had the parties, I had the threesomes," "I had the drugs, I had everything, yet I sit here before you, ladies and gentlemen, with a fully working hymen." "My hymen is like Charmin Ultra tissue paper." "It won't tear." "No, no, my body is like a phone in a silicon case." "No matter what I do, I cannot smash." "Meanwhile, this utter fool, who's spent all her days playing Ludo, took a little trip round the corner from the estate, a guy takes her home, and retrieves the V from her thighs just like that." "So, I, yeah, I've decided to take a different approach." " Last weekend..." " I mean, this is really bad." "Most unfortunate." "I don't have cash." "In all these years, have I ever asked you for a single penny?" " Do I grow money in my garden?" " Yeah, you have garden." " How civilised." " Woman open her mouth, it's cash." " My children are in poverty." " Woman, I don't want hassle." "OK, your father is leaving now." "Say bye-bye." "Bye." "Goodbye, father." "See you next Christmas." "Oh, yeah, yeah, that's my dad." "Oh, no big story." "He's a nice guy, little bit "What's he there for?"" "sort of thing, but that's it." "So there really is nothing left in my life." "Why are you saying that?" " We're here." " Matter of time." "Someone broke into our home and shattered the cocoon I built around you." "Now you see the evil the world is," "I don't know what's to become of you." "And without my church," "I am nothing." "As for you, you'll be in campus somewhere far away now that you have joined" " your little night school." " It's a book club." "Oh, yeah, I joined a book club, innit." "I'm tired." "Mummy." "I'm sorry, was you looking for run?" "I thought you was looking for death!" "Connor, this flat is so fancy." "Emma." "I need to find a man version of you, yeah." "Thanks, Trace." "I think." " I love your hair." " Ooh, careful." "Sorry, Trace." "Maybe a few more dinners" " and I'll earn the privilege." " Maybe." "Two more dinners, then a threesome." "I'm not ready for those kind of jokes." "Emma, where did you get all the money for this?" "Emma works for the borough." "Well, being a human coffee machine for Tower Hamlets" " ain't going to buy you this." " I'm not the tea boy, I'm management." "Oh, at our age, yeah." "Emma, let me like you in my own time, yeah, don't rush things with lies." "No, I'm not our age." "I'm 45." "And you already knew that." "Yeah, I mean, it'd be different if he was, like, 18, but, you know, he's not so it's not illegal." "Lonely, I wandered into the kitchen." "The smell," "I missed the air born from the rising steam of the rice boiling from Penelope's pink and purple patterned pot." " Tracey!" " Sorry." "I'm trying to think." "It's a complicated situation." "I can't read in my head, I'll fall asleep." " So what's it about?" " I don't actually know." "The minute I read the next line, I forget what line I just read was." "Leish, tell me again." "OK, was it Dean, 326 followers on Twitter, also an up-and-coming MC?" "Travell, now at uni, not on Instagram or Twitter at all." "Joaquin, 2,098 followers on Instagram." "All three have confirmed they might be your baby daddy." "All three liking the idea of a mixed race kid." "You loved up Dean." " Dean's probably the father." " Chris," "I could pop this out right now just to whack you over the head with it." "I was doing the shag with two other black guys at the same time." " I'm just saying." " What's loving Dean going to do?" "Make his sperm be for all the other sperm to back up off my ovaries?" "I apologise." "Karly, why don't you just take a DNA test?" "They cost an arm." " Or in your case, an implant." " Maybe you could go on Jeremy Kyle." "I ain't going on fucking Jeremy Kyle." "Do I look like I'd go on Jeremy fucking Kyle?" "Don't worry, Karly, what's that quote?" " "Whatever's done in darkness... "" " Ooh, "comes to light"." " Yeah, my mum says that." " And remember, at the christening, I want you all wearing white." "Tracey's mum is devoid of a church." "We need to rethink this baptism shit." "Well, let's just go to a different priest." "So far, none in the borough is willing to take responsibility" " for the baptism of your babies." " Who's dipping it?" "Tracey, help her and help me, please." "Oh, I'm sorry, I've got book club." "Oh!" "You lot take five." "Anything on your mind?" "Yeah, when the fuck are these lot going to get out of my house, so we can have some fun?" "Right, I've got to go." "So, this week we read the second chapter of Kevin Murawski's Musings Of." "This is insane." "Like, in-sane." "What got me was the..." "I mean, totally unreserved vulnerability." "The way he describes his grandmother's carpet." "The carpet." "The grandma's." " I mean..." " I mean." "I mean." "I disagree." "What?" "I just don't think it's some of his best work," " that's what I'm saying." " It's not his best." "I mean, you can't..." "He abandoned all sense of power." "Power that's inherent to him as the author and gave said power and trust to the reader." " Gives the power to the reader." " Yes, yes, exactly." " The trust." " The trust, the trust." "The section with the broken table." "Yeah!" "I don't know what these people are talking about." " Do you know what they're talking about?" " My God, what was it?" " Erm..." " The table wobbled." " Therefore, it was broken!" " Broken!" " Tracey." " What?" "Everybody was laughing," " why are you shouting at me?" " I just wondered what your thoughts were." "Oh." "Mine?" "Hers." "Hers?" "Don't interrupt me." "Let me say my piece, because..." "Tracey, did you read the chapter?" "Did I read the... ?" "Rule number two... if you don't read, don't reach." "Wow, wear my hair like a flower trying to bloom," " and you're just raining on me." " Rain is actually what causes flowers to bloom." " It's called photosynthesis." " Photo shut up!" "Shut up." "Shut..." "Tracey." "My hands are full with lecturing, otherwise I'd gladly read it with you." "Sounds like a paedophile's favourite rat trap." "Cos women can be paedophiles too." "See, even your wordplay is interesting." "No, there's just rats on my estate." "There's rats, there's people, there's pigeons, penguins." " Penguins?" " Oh, yeah, yeah, penguins are like people from the council, police, there's other different kinds of breeds of penguin but I don't really know what they do, but just like penguins they don't talk," "they wear black and white and they just walk round the estate, same time, twice a day, Monday to Friday." "I don't know what they do but I think it's got something to do with, like, the new buildings that they put up around Pentonville estate." "You carry much intrigue." "Get yourself a reading buddy from the group." " Please, Tracey." " Um, where does this one live?" "So I was thinking we could do a joint engagement/baptism party with Karly Raven." "We don't even know if they're having a party yet." " She had a party the last three times." " OK, whatever." " What do you want to do?" " I love you, I just want to do what you want." "Now you just sound like a soppy kid." "You sound like every guy I ever broke up with in primary school." "Oh, you was breaking hearts from early like that, yeah?" "Don't watch me." "Long hair, light skin, no pimples." "You get me?" "Right, babe." " Cand." " Yeah?" "There's nothing you want to tell me, is there?" "There's nothing on your mind?" "No, why?" " Just checking in." " Well you need to check out, because that morning breath's already checking in." "So, I didn't know you were coming round." "Yeah." "Nor did I, really." "I ain't read it." " What?" " Just some extra credit for the CV." "But you chat." "How do you chat about a book you ain't read?" "It's very simple, just talk about how shit the book is, disagree with everyone else's point passionately." "Right, well..." "I'll remember to do that next time." "Now you're learning." "Yeah, when you lie, you are so vague." "I'm what?" "It's a compliment." "If you were any good at lying, you wouldn't be fiddling with my bedsheets, and I wouldn't know how happy you would be if I fucked you into it." " Tracey?" " I'm..." "I'm..." "I'm..." "I'm a virgin." "That's cool, we can just have a little play." "Oh, no, no, no, we're definitely having sex." "I'm just saying, I can't do tricks, you know?" "Ooh, ooh, ooh, can we do it like this, yeah?" "Where, like, I'm holding on to you like we're on a magic carpet ride." "I mean we could, but my dick can't..." "What, it can't stretch back, or round, or... ?" " No." " Oh." "Erm..." "Why don't we do it like this?" "Oh, yeah, OK." "You can thrust." "I've prepared a song, may I sing it?" " Er..." " ♪ He's entering my dome ♪" "♪ What will he find?" "♪" "♪ It's a world of adventure, it's a world of adventure ♪" "♪ Will I smile?" "Will I scorn?" "♪" "♪ Now my hymen has been torn ♪" "♪ Dry like a desert or wet like rain ♪" "♪ What will he do to my membrane?" "♪" "♪ I don't want this moment to be over ♪" "♪ Said my vulva ♪" "♪ It's a world of adventure. ♪" "Wow, that's the end of that chapter, then." "I mean, what do I do now?" "I want to cry, but I know it's not really good to have a cry." " Are you OK?" " I'm so sorry." "It's just it's a bit overwhelming, do you know what I mean?" " Shall I stop?" " No, carry on, carry on." "Sorry, come on, yeah." "Thanks for taking the time, you know, to talk to me through all this." "I feel..." "I don't know, I feel safe, you know?" "Get it, get it, get it, get it. ♪ Get that... ♪" "Whoa, Maybe a little gentler." "Whoa!" "Why?" "Why did you take it away?" "Where did it go?" "Trace, you're the girl, you could just lie still." " Why are you always doing the most?" " Sorry." "Can we... ?" "Can we carry on, please?" "Remi, you in?" "Oh, my big bro's home." "So?" "So he's the kind of guy to bust open a door while Snapchatting, and the next thing you know, your arse is all over his class." "He's a very naughty teacher, isn't he, to show that to all the boys at school?" "He IS one of the boys at school." "But he..." "He's your BIG brother." "Yeah." "Whatever's done in darkness  always comes to light." "I'm at keys." "I'm fine." "Kar, your water's broken." "Oh, yeah?" "I thought I felt something." "Come on." " Morning, baby." " What the fuck?" "Aaron, look at my..." "Aaron?" "You got off with my dad." " But you knew that." " But what does "get off" mean?" "Please... please answer me that question, please." " Baby, I told you." " The dry hump?" "The daddy dry hump?" " Yeah." " You don't need a condom to dry hump, Candice!" "You want an angry Aaron?" "You want good-for-nothing dog?" "He's here!" " You cunt." " It's your cunt I'm worried about." "Are you gonna get off with my grandpa, too?" " Are you fucking serious?" " I wouldn't put it past you." " Your grandad's dead." " So you have thought about it." "Do you know what?" "All right, cool, we're done." "It's over." " What are the fuck you still doing here?" " Have a look around, babe." "I've already moved my stuff out, I'm done with you." "You're like jerk chicken that's gone bad." "Yeah, you look great, the you're fucking poisonous." "Look at you, you little pup." "You're a spineless, toothless pup." "So you broke a few make-up brushes?" "Woohoo!" " Is that the best you got?" " I should have cut your fucking hair off." "Cut my hair?" "You couldn't cut a fucking flower from the grass." " I..." "I'm strong." " Yeah?" "All right, cool." "Go on." "Cut my hair." "Go on." "It's right there for you." "Snip, snip, snip!" "Oh, I thought so." "Come on." "Dickhead." "For the record, I'd like to state that I do not need or want a lawyer present, I know what I done." "OK." "OK." " So you'd like to report... ?" " Sex with someone under the age." " And you are the victim... ?" " I did it!" "I confess!" "I confess." "You had sexual relations with an underage person?" "A boy." "But I didn't know, you know?" "I didn't..." "I didn't groom him." "I..." "I did not groom him!" "We're not recording." " OK." " OK, Tracey  what I'll need you to do is talk me through the events slowly, starting from when you first met." "OK." "His name is Remi Hartland, and we met at book club." "He's... he's... he's very muscular." "He seemed older, you know?" "I don't know what they're pumping into the school meals these days, but the children are very muscular." "It's quite confusing for me, because" "I was the virgin, you know?" "I..." " I was the virgin!" " There's no recorder." "Really?" "Anyway." "At his house, yeah... ?" "Went to his house." "After... the sex." "That's when he told me." "I swear to you, it was after." "That's when he told me he was 16!" "He told you he was 16, so how old was he really?" "He was 16 and three days." " He was 16?" " He was..." "This is why we need to record the thing... how many times do you want to make me confess?" "Five/six times?" "Having sexual relations with a 16-year-old" " is legal." " I had sex with a 16-year-old." "What you did is not illegal." "Wasting police time is." ""Please ask an officer if you need... " May I have a drink?" " No." " No." "You know, I love..." "I love what you guys do for this country." "You lost your virginity to a 16-year-old?" " Oh, it's not funny." " Oh, at 16?" "Jesus Christ." "Look, he... he don't..." " He don't look 16." " Fair enough." " Like, Emma don't look 40-something." " No, that's different, cos she's nasty." "What are you?" "You just had sex with a 16-year-old." "I didn't know!" "That is more embarrassing than having a naked photo shoot with a dog." "Right, that's it." "Say one more word and I'm gonna break it." "It's definitely worse than having your PJs on, sitting on someone's face after barely a conversation." "Right!" "It's not as bad as your poetry!" "It is..." "You topped it." "You've gone and fucking topped it." "Right, that's it." "This..." "Sticky toffee time!" "Thank God." "Because a pillow's not just to rest on..." "It's to sleep on." "Tracey?" "I haven't read it." "And I'm not embarrassed." "I have made worse errors in the past 24 hours alone." "I haven't been taught to read the way you lot have been taught to read." "I don't have that in me." "So, no, I can't read the book, because I don't want to read the book." "I'd rather be living my life with my friends... you know, doing things I like, not reading about carpets and pillows." "If I want to read about carpets and pillows I'll... pick up an Ikea catalogue." "Can I go?" "I'm just gonna..." " Tracey!" " Y... you..." "I'm sorry, I..." "I'm mature, I even smoked crack one time." "Shit." "Let's see the damage." "Shit." "I thought you only fucked black guys?" "There was a guy at Visions..." "Eddie." " I fucked Eddie in the photo booth." " Shut it." "Wasting my fucking time." "Look what he did to my make-up." "I can't go out." " W... what do you mean?" " Look at me." " What you talking about?" " Tracey, look at my hair, my face." "You're the most beautiful girl in the world." " There's nothing that could change that." " Tracey, my fucking hair's gone!" "It's just hair." "Cand?" "Just hair." "And now all this is," "I got you, and you got me." "That's what's beautiful, innit?" "Right, come on." "Candice, you really have to start folding your clothes." "Really." "Really." "All right, come on, Karly... what's your mother instinct saying to you?" "Trace, she ain't even fucking mixed." "Which one of us is it?" "It's none of ya." "My baby's got 20 fucking dads sitting round this square right now." "20 mums an' all." "I've got mates taking care of me." "There's nothing I want that I don't already have." "Kristy, we were right." " Of course we are." " Well, then, fucking drink." "Brilliant." " All right, I just wanna say..." " Boo!" "That's not funny, cos we're really not on those terms." "I just want to say congratulations, Karly." "You are knocking them babies out, year after year after year, and we welcome them." "They are the next generation of and we're already proud of them." "Pensbourners," "Yeah, yeah." "Right, we're a mixed bunch, but we stick together, like chewing gum on concrete." "Even if this whole estate got knocked down, it don't matter, because you're my home." "We are home for each other, and I love all of ya." "I love..." "I..." "Yeah, I do." "Baby Caramelle, God bless ya." "Don't think he will." "She ain't been dipped." "Mum?" "Karly needs someone to baptise baby Caramelle." "If anyone can do it, you can." "You don't need a church." "House keys, please." " Huh?" " I've replaced all your stock." "Oh, wow, wow, wow!" "Thank you." "Thank you, Dad." " Thank you, Alex." " Yeah." "It looks so much like my stuff." " Um..." " How did you pay?" "It was very discounted." "My stepson runs a second-hand furniture shop." "Come and meet him." "Ryan?" "Ryan!" "Hi, Ryan." "I'm Tracey." "Um, your sister, and this is my mum." "This is Joy..." "Auntie Joy." "Lovely to meet you, but we have to..." "No, no, you carry on." "We'll set up." "Bye, bro!" " Thanks, Dad." " It's time, come forward." "Gather round." "Me almighty God, who has given us a new birth in water and Holy Spirit, generously bless all who are His faithful children." "May we always be His people." "And may God bless all those here present with his peace." "Amen!" "Amen."