"Two years ago, a penniless language-school teacher," "I was invited to dinner by Dennis and Karen Parsons." "But as I said earlier," ""What the hell, I'm an accountant."" "You say to me, "What's two and two?"" "And I say, "What would you like it to be?"" "Karen." "Karen'?" "You're late." "Not a thing to be when your contract's nearly up for renewal." "So, uh, Garcia." "I think he wants to shag her." "But she want dollar to shag him." "If I died tomorrow, Karen would be worth three-quarters of a million pounds." "Om Aah!" "Denny!" "Oh!" "Oh, dear." "Oh, dear, oh, dear." "Denny!" "It is therefore my duty and pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife together." "I want to explain what really happened between Karen and I." "And I know you disapprove." "Darling, why should you imagine" "I'm interested in Alison Kraemer'?" "I can't go on with this!" "You're so cold!" "I've been so alone." "Guess what." " What?" "I'm pregnant!" "But I didn't mention my vasectomy." "What?" " That baby is Clive's." "And I'm a total yob, really." "As I was saying, I'm in a spot of bother with the law, who seem to think I murdered my wife and her first husband." "I think I'd got to the point" "Where she brained herself on our rather tasteless sofa." "Will you wake up'?" "Oh, Christ." "Oh, you can't be dead." "Oh, shit!" "Clive..." "I'm all alone here in the house with him, and I'm frightened of him, Clive." "Aah!" "And then suddenly I had the most fantastic idea." "It was only at this point that I began to break the law." "F And on her head she wore a bag ﬂ ﬂ And she looked a dandy fair lady ﬂ ﬂ And 'round her middle she wore another ﬂ" "Up with your little leggies." "There we go." "There's a good girl." "Hi." "Do you mind if I pay you tomorrow?" "I'm doing a spot of gardening." "ls that all right'?" "Right." " Thanks very much." "Bye." "Bye." " Bye." "My plan depended upon the rather steamy nature of relationship between my ex-employer," "Clive Phillips, and my late wife, Karen." "There is nothing, of course, the British police enjoy more than a good, juicy murder." "Karen and Clive had been planning a weekend away in Wales." "I stopped first at Oxford railway station to buy her a ticket to Banbury, where they'd arranged to meet up." "Then I drove to the outskirts of town to collect my accomplice." "Hop in, Garcia." " What do you think?" "You like my gear?" "Yes." "There's been a change of plan." "You told your wife?" "She got 'round you?" "She's, um, put herself out of the picture." "Oh." "I put the gear in the boot." "The back seat'll be ﬁne." "We won't need the generator now." "You do something worse to him, maybe." "Wait and see." "I bring something from home." "I knitted it myself." "It Weigh a lot." ""Weighs." Third person." "Where we go now'?" "Get down, for Christ's sake." "Hey, get down, baby!" "Get down!" "Why are you so nervous?" "What are you planning to do to this guy'?" "I'm paying you to knock him on the head when I tell you, then do what you're told." "Nothing more, nothing less." "There's Clive's nasty little car." "And there's Clive Waiting for my wife." "He's wondering Where she is." "You go get him now'?" "How hard do you want me to hit him'?" "I want him alive, Garcia." "That's very important, okay'?" "Alive." "For the moment, anyway." "Hello, Clive." "Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear." "She's not coming." " ls that right'?" "Maybe she left you a message." "Did you check your messages?" "No." "I think you and I had better have a little talk, don't you?" "So, you know what's been going on." "Indeed." "You've been stuffing my wife." "I suppose that's how you would see it." "How do you see it, Clive'?" "I'm in love with her." "But you wouldn't understand that, would you?" "Oh, Clive, why do nasty people have such nice minds?" "I'm in love with her." "This is real." " Like Hitler and dogs'?" "Well, Clive, now you're gonna be a daddy." "You what?" "She's going to have your baby." "She is?" "That is so Wonderful." "I thought I was just a..." "I think you Were." "Just a very little bit on the side." "Look, let's, uh..." "Let's try and be civilized about this, shall we'?" "We misunderstood each other." "I was maybe a bit hard on you." " Do you think so'?" "This must be very painful for you, knowing that she cares for me." "You don't get it, do you?" "Well, I..." "I just feel so moved to think she wants my baby." "Why do people like you think you have a right to feelings?" "You spend half your time trying to screw people over and the other half getting sentimental about it." "Look, let me say this again." "I feel genuine concern for your situation." "You really think you do, don't you?" "How did you find out'?" "I overheard her talking to you on the telephone." "Oh, my God." "How did that feel'?" "That felt like this!" "As good as gold." "I Wear these?" "We don't want any of this mud getting on this oar." "It might be traced." "Hey." "It's on his car." "Trust me." "I know what I'm doing." "At least I hoped I did." "I needed incriminating mud from the demolition site on Clive's car but not on mine." "Next I had to distract Garcia while I moved Karen's body." "Okay." "Right." "Garcia, I want you to take this wheel and throw it the other side of that small Wall there" "Where the plants are." "Why?" " Questions, questions." "Just do it." "Please." "In death, Karen had achieved the kind of style that had always eluded her in life." "What you doing'?" "Nothing." "Go on." "Go on!" "He's disappeared." "Hey." "There's no one here to help you, Clive." "There's no one here but me, and I'm not gonna help you." "Do you know what I'm gonna do, Clive?" "I've got a great big pair of garden shears here." "I'm gonna use them on you." "You've been getting a bit rampant lately, a bit rank and luxurious." "I'm gonna have to out you back!" "Right." "You take this car and follow me in the Mere." "Let me tell you one thing, my friend." "You lie to me, you stitch me up, and wherever you try and hide, I will find you." "Okay?" " Okay." "Hey." "What we do here'?" "Picnic?" "I proposed to my wife here." "Have a hobnob." "What you going to do with your wife?" "I may have to let her go." "Someone help me." "Very noisy, these Japanese cars, don't you find'?" "There's nobody here but me and a few neurotic sheep, Clive." "So I really wouldn't bother." "You wait here." " Where you going'?" "Gonna take a sentimental journey." "Just admiring the view." "This is my wife." "She's a little bit dead, but she was particularly fond of this spot." "Weren't you, darling?" "Come on." "It must have been the emotion of the moment, but I nearly forgot the crucial evidence of her single ticket to Banbury for her rendezvous with Clive." "[ Scraping 1" "The cops are gonna love this one." "Oh, shit!" "I hadn't actually intended to get the car stuck." "But it fitted in with my plans perfectly." "What are you doing, my friend'?" "Where have you been'?" "Shall we get back to Mr. Phillips?" "You crash his car deliberately?" "Good punishment for Clive, really, isn't it'?" ""You touoha my wife, I smasha you oar."" "Hey." "What we do with him'?" "I'll show you." "We're gonna leave him by the reservoir." "We don't push him in'?" " No need." "Oh, poo." "Clive, you should have gone before we left." "What are you doing'?" "You're gonna need a nice long Jacuzzi after this." "Do you have a Jacuzzi, Clive?" "I bet you do." "I bet you're just the sort of person to have a Jacuzzi." "You're not gonna get away with this." "Actually, I rather think I am." "Karen and I..." "I wouldn't think about Karen if I were you, Clive." "I really would try not to think about her at all." "So we don't use my gear." "Shame, huh'?" " indeed." "Feel free to count it." "We bring him to Wales and leave him by the reservoir." "What is the big deal?" "There's, um, a scheme in England called the Duke of Edinburgh Award." "It's supposed to build up moral fiber." "The body..." "It is your wife, yes'?" "What body'?" "The body you take from your car and put in Mr. Phillips' car." "It is your wife, yes'?" "Well, my friend, I'm going to have to ask you to keep very quiet about this." "You see, her body's now in that reservoir." "I keep quiet." "For money." "Oh, I wouldn't mention this to anyone if I were you." "I mean, what with your past and all." "They might construe your activities today as being an accessory to murder." "Capiche'?" "And it's my word against yours, isn't it'?" "Whether you like it or not, We're in this together." "If I were you, I'd take the first plane back home." "Climate's lovely at this time of year, as I recall." "You ever come to my country, my friend, and I find you," "I kill you." "Okay." "Next, we headed back to Oxford, where I dropped Senor Garcia at his grubby bed-sit." "Then on to Clive Phillips' bachelor pad to retrieve the crucial tape on which Karen had left her incriminating answerphone message." "It went without a hitch." "I was halfway through removing all traces of possible evidence when I suddenly remembered..." "Yesterday, when I was dumping Karen's body in the reservoir," "I was supposed to be at lunch with Alison Kraemer." "My whereabouts were a critical issue." "Kraemer residence." "Who's speaking please?" "Oh, hi, Rebecca." "It's Thomas Carter here." "Um, I'm calling about the madrigal group." "You sound funny, Tom." "Uh, yeah, I have a cold." "ls your mom there'?" "She went to Dorset yesterday." "Grandfather was taken poorly." "Oh, it's not urgent." "Don't even mention I called." "Got to go." "Please, God, let this be Alison Kraemer telling me she couldn't make it for lunch yesterday." "Hi, it's me..." "Alison." "I'm afraid I can't have lunch with you today, so I hope you get this message." "F Da-da bum-bum F ﬂ Boo-doo-doo boo-boo ﬂ" "F Ba-da bum ba-da ba-da F ﬂ Bum bum F" "Hello?" "Oh, hello, Mrs. Argyle." "It's me." "Is Karen there'?" "No, she's not here." " Oh." "Well, I don't understand." "She told me she was coming up to Liverpool to see you." "She isn't, no." " How odd." "How's the hip'?" "Bugger off, you two-faced little shit!" "Bitch." "Now, have I forgotten anything?" "Oh." "Dennis's wine magazines that Karen had presumably slipped on were still where they lay." "Also I noticed some unfortunate traces of blood remaining where her head had hit the hideous sofa." "Oh!" "Dirty girl." "College Road police station." "Oh, good morning, officer." "I'm sorry to bother you, and I'm sure there's a perfectly obvious and innocent explanation for all this, but I was just starting to get worried because, well, the fact of the matter is," "my wife seems to have disappeared." "I was telling you about Clive Phillips." "My plan for revenging myself on him was classical in its simplicity." "Can I help you?" "Chief Inspector Moss from Oxford police station, sir." "Could we talk inside'?" "Is it about my wife?" "I'm afraid it is, sir." "What's happened'?" "ls she all right'?" "Perhaps we should go inside." "Where is she'?" "She didn't come home last night." "Powys police have recovered a body which they believe to be that of your wife, sir." "We would like you to accompany us to Wales with a view to identifying the body." "Dead?" "How'?" "The body was recovered from a reservoir, we understand, sir." "But that's ridiculous." "Karen's an excellent swimmer." "She teaches it, for God's sake." "She's got certificates, cups." "Plod number one looked suitably embarrassed." "Plod number two was clearly longing to make some crack about it being hard to swim with a concrete post tied to your back." "I gave them a lot more shock, disbelief, and horror." "I'll get some things together." "I just don't believe what you're telling me." "It's funny, really." "I don't feel anything." "Just sort of numb." "That's actually quite common, sir." "I'm sorry, sir, but we have to go through these formalities." "Poor Karen." "For the past two clays, she'd been out of one plastic bag and into another like a bit of leftover food at the bottom of the fridge." "That's her." "That's my wife." "I'm afraid we need you to talk to the local police, sir." "It's their case, really." " I see." "But we'll sit in if that's okay with you, sir." "I just want to find out how this happened." "Now, we need your side of the story, just for the record." "Um, Karen had told me she was going to see her mother in Liverpool." "I stayed at home." "Her mother and I don't get on too Well." "Join the club, sir." "It all seems so petty now." "L, uh, drove her to the station." "Put her on the train'?" "No, I didn't actually." "I offered to, but she wouldn't let me." "Why do you ask'?" " No reason, really." "Just to show he's not asleep, sir." "Like us rural Welsh coppers don't know our ass from a hole in the ground." "I telephoned her mother the next day, and she told me that Karen hadn't even intended going up there." "That was when I started to get Worried, and I called the Oxford police." "Why did you ring her'?" "Listen to him, sir." "Trying to catch you out." "I'd noticed an announcement in the local newspaper about a concert that I wanted to go to." "I didn't want her to get back before I got home." "She was always forgetting her keys." "Right." "Right, you took her to the station Saturday morning, 9:15, then you rang her mother later the next day." "And in between, sir'?" "How do you mean'?" "See anybody'?" "Do anything'?" "No." "Um, I was at home." "I went for a Walk late in the afternoon." "No one came to the house?" " No." "And you didn't speak to anyone on the phone?" "No." "I'm sorry..." "What does all this have to do with my wife?" "We have to ask, sir." "Because of the alleged kidnapping." "You think Karen was kidnapped?" "No." "No, not exactly, sir, no." "We have a gentleman here I think you might know." "I think we better show him the tape." "Are you sure about that?" "Under the circumstances, absolutely positive." "You bastard!" "You bastard!" "You killed her, didn't you?" "!" "You bastard!" "Calm down!" " Get him down!" "You murdered her in cold blood, you bastard!" "I'm coming for you!" "I mean it!" "I'm gonna kill you, you bastard!" "Terribly sorry about that, sir." "You know that man'?" "Oh, I know him, all right." "Out, lad." "Sit down, sir." "Let's have a look at this." "So Clive Phillips is, um..." "Karen's first husband was his accountant." "Indeed." "He's no longer with us, I believe." "He died in a boating accident." "I recall the incident." "I'm a great reader of the local press." "That, The Times crossword, and Donizetti are what get me through the night." "I'm a Fauré man, myself." "Really?" "So this Clive Phillips?" "We haven't seen that much of him since our marriage." "Why was that?" "I didn't particularly care for his manner with my wife." "He had a way of treating her as if... as if she were still single." "Karen's husband... her second husband, you understand, but I'm pretty sure he had something to do with the death of his wife's first husband... kidnapped me and beat me and abused me and just kicked me out in the middle of nowhere." "I had no idea where I was when I came into town." "They hadn't mentioned your wife's death at this stage, of course." "And did he say why he'd done it?" "He was convinced I was having an affair with his wife." "And were you?" "We were very fond of each other." "She will confirm that." "I just need to speak to her!" "And there was another man involved in this." "I think he might have been some kind of Spaniard." "Look, this man almost certainly murdered his wife's first husband, and I'm pretty sure he's 'crying to kill me too." "It goes on like this." "Mr. Phillips is more than somewhat disturbed." "He seems to be clinically insane, if you ask me." "I just feel so grubby about what Clive s-said." "I suppose it would have been different if we'd had kids." "Kiddies are lovely, sir." "Karen always said she didn't want them." "Perhaps she was just being kind." "She knew about my vasectomy." "[ Crying 1" "The beauty of the dead is that you can say what the hell you like without the slightest fear of contradiction." "If only we could have had children." "There..." "There might have been something of her left." "I'll get some tea and biscuits, shall I, sir'?" "Very kind." "Where exactly was her body found'?" "Up Rhayader way, sir." "Rhayader'?" "That's odd." "Why'?" "Oh, it's just a coincidence, but we stayed there once." "The Rhayader Valley Court." "Last September." "Just before... before we got engaged." "Even this Welsh idiot could be trusted to find out that Karen and Clive had been booked into the same hotel that weekend and the deposit was on her credit card." "I'm so sorry." "They'd find out she was pregnant in the postmortem." "And I'd already given them my vasectomy." "So foolish of Clive to lie about his affair." "It wasn't gonna look good." "I think that'll probably be enough." "It's a pity no one saw you on Saturday." "Back home in Oxford," "I finally decided it was time for a 'caste offensive on Dennis's furniture." "Now I was its sole owner," "I felt I needed to put my own mark on number 9 Ramillies Drive." "Can you sign here, please?" "Cheers." "Is this a social call'?" "Be easier to talk inside, sir." "If you wouldn't mind." "No, not at all." "Please." "Come in." "Our friends up in Wales asked us to drop by to let you know the position." "Which is'?" "Apparently, Clive Phillips has confessed to the murder of your wife." "Good God." " Yes, I was surprised." "Still, he ought to know" "Whether he's committed a murder or not, oughtn't he'?" "Yes." "Yes, I suppose so." "Once we found earth from the demolition site in Mr. Phillips's car, sir, it was all over for him." "What demolition site'?" "And he was foolish enough to crash his car into a Wall near the reservoir." "And it seems that forensic tests have shown that your wife was pregnant by Phillips." "Do you mean to tell me, Inspector that she and Clive Phillips Were..." "I'm afraid so, sir." "I could not believe my luck." "For a moment I found myself wondering whether Clive had actually murdered Karen." "Then why did he kill her'?" "In God's name, why'?" "Apparently, they'd gone away together." "To Rhayader." "Maybe she told him that she was pregnant." "Maybe they quarreled." "It's all in the confession." "I suppose I should hate him." "I just feel tremendous pity for both of them." "Indeed." "It was a remarkably detailed confession." "If I was in any other country but England," "I'd say they beat it out of him." "Well, I suppose it wasn't England really, sir, was it'?" "It was Wales." "Can I offer you gentlemen a cup of tea'?" "Oh, yes, please." "Carlos, it's me." "I'm at Malagrena Victory Airport still trying to get through to you and still getting your machine." "You're probably out shagging." "Anyway, this is just to say that I'll make my way to your place." "So there I was, not just a widower... a wronged widower." "I couldn't believe my luck." "You been in our country before." "Indeed." "Some years ago." "I loved it." "You will find changes here." " I embrace change." "As I always have." "Seems like yesterday" "I was proposing to her by that reservoir." "And then suddenly there she is lying at the bottom of it with a concrete post tied to her." "Yeah, it's too horrible." "Don't let's dwell on it." "Look, I know this is probably the last thing you want to think about right now, but Dennis's life was insured for three-quarters of a million pounds and Karen's for even more." "Now, when the wills are through probate, you get all of that." "That all seems so meaningless." "You'll be worth nearly two million." "So what?" "What does it mean'?" "I'll have a bottle of champagne and one glass, please." "Right you are, sir." " Celebrating something, are we'?" "It's a reaction, I think, Inspector." "Yes." "To grief." " indeed." "Would you make that two glasses'?" "You're very kind, sir." "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you." "He hasn't done anything stupid, I hope." "I'm sorry?" "Uh, hang- hanged himself in prison." "Or something." "Remorse." "Oh, I don't think he feels any remorse, sir." "In fact, he's changed his plea." "He says he's not guilty of the murder." "Some cock-and-bull story about her dying in a car crash and him trying to cover it up." "There will have to be a trial, I'm afraid." "That'll be £25, please, sir." "Thank you." "The trial was an ordeal." "I never realized I'd become a national celebrity." "Fame isn't all it's cracked up to be." "The press latched onto me as the grieving widower." "It required all my acting skills." "This was really for one purpose and one purpose only." "There was still one woman in whom I was interested and for whose benefit I had to look good." "Her name?" "Alison Kraemer, of course." "Cultured, pure, beautiful Alison." "Clive was clearly not gonna make it easy for me." "I was going to have to make a good showing on the stand." "So after you saw your wife off on the train, how did you spend the rest of the day'?" "I didn't do much." "Watched television." "Went for a Walk." "And the day after'?" "My lord, I really must object." "I fail to see how the bereaved husband's whereabouts have any effect on this case." "I was simply trying "" "The defense have already maintained that this unfortunate man's wife met her death in an accident while the accused was driving." "The objection is a valid one, and the Witness therefore need not answer the question." "Thank you, my lord." "No further questions, my lord." "May I step down'?" "I feel ill." "I'm so sorry." "This has been very..." "My wife was..." "Please, take time to compose yourself." "Thank you." "So, Mr. Phillips, you are asking us to believe that, having had an accident which mildly scraped the wing of your expensive vehicle, the victim suffered the serious blow to the head of which the pathologist's evidence has spoken." "Uh..." "I maintain..." "And panicking after this incident, you very resourcefully obtained a large concrete post to which you tied her." "That done, you then hurled her into a reservoir." "No, I-l never said that." "Perhaps I heard my learned friend," "Mr. Fawler-Jackson, wrongly." "Perhaps I was paying insufficient attention." "I never wanted this ridiculous defense in the first place." "My lord..." " We all know what happened." "He and some Spanish bastard put a sponge bag on my head, hit me in the balls, locked me in the boot 'cause they found out I was in love with his wife!" "And then after they kidnapped me, they drove me to Wales, where they pushed me down a hill to try to murder me!" "Didn't you?" "!" "My lord, may I ask for an adjournment and, with your permission, a chance to consult with my client." "We have no objections, my lord." "The defendant is clearly in need of therapy of some sort." "Bastard!" "You bastard!" "You're all bastards!" "Take that man down to the cell." "I'm coming for you, you bastard!" "You cold-blooded, murdering bastard!" "I'm coming to get you!" "I'm coming for you!" "You bastard!" "I think our man is doing rather well, don't you?" "Even if he isn't a big name." "The truth is a lawyer's best ally." "Not always." "While we waited for the jury to make up their minds," "I thought I'd seek some consolation in North Oxford." "A drink maybe." "Or dinner." "Who knew where it might lead'?" "Oh." "Hi, Rebecca." "How's music?" "Fauré's still Fauré." "Which is nice for him, isn't it'?" "He could have been Cesar Franck or Saint-Saens." "Did Clive really murder your wife?" "Rebecca." "I'm sorry." "This must be such a bad time for you." "It's not been the greatest two weeks of my life." "When's the verdict expected?" "I'm trying not to think about things like that." "I feel rather sorry for Clive." "I just think they should put him somewhere and inject him with stuff." "Forever." "Did you want something in particular?" "Just to see someone I liked, really." "In the midst of all this horror." "When it's allover, you must come to dinner." "When Clive Phillips goes down, I'm socially acceptable." "Oh, don't be so paranoid." "Well, I won't come in, even though you didn't ask." "Let's just hope Clive doesn't manage to lie his way out of this." "Then I can hold up my head up and ask you out." "Do you know what I like about you?" "There's something terribly..." "correct about you." "I'm an old-fashioned thing." "Bye." "Clive Piddinghoe Phillips, the jury has found you guilty of a particularly despicable and cowardly murder." "You committed this crime in cold blood and then proceeded to try and cover it up with a totally spurious and incredible story... which you later retracted... involving accusations against the poor man" "Whose wife you had seduced and then brutally killed." "You are clearly a highly dangerous individual whose reformation will not be easily or lightly accomplished." "The penalty is life imprisonment." "And bearing in mind the particularly heartless way you set about..." "It's a lie." "It's a lie!" "He's lying to you, and you can't see it, you stupid, stupid..." "Take him down." " ...old bastard!" "You're lying!" "You're lying, and you know it!" "You killed her, didn't you?" "!" "You killed her, you bastard!" "You murdering bastard!" "Back here in Malagrena," "I headed to my old friend Carlos's place." "I'd taught him English in the '90s, and he'd taught me, well, many things." "Carlos?" "Carlos?" "It's me." "I'm here." "Carlos was always a one for parties and sex and, um, Karl Marx." "Remember him'?" "?" "Digame'?" "(Mme?" "(Mme?" "He'll turn up." "This country is appallingly badly organized but delightfully corrupt." "You cannot buy yourself into polite society in England." "Charm, intelligence, and a certain ruthlessness are required." "What are you gonna do with the money'?" "I'm afraid I've always found money a frightful bore." "Oh, that's funny." "Some people had you down as a fortune hunter." "But not you?" "Well, there's a certain, uh, tension between us, but no." "We met under difficult circumstances." "Can I tell you something?" " Please." "I always thought you were having an affair with Karen." "You..." "Karen'?" "And I thought that you never really loved her at all." "We got each other so wrong." "You know, I think the reason everybody was so suspicious of you was nobody could quite work out Where you were from." "And that didn't bother you?" "No." "I'm an American." "Everyone is from somewhere else." "Excuse me." "You see, now, for the first time in my life," "I was in Alison Kraemer's league." "Yuck." "Nice to see you too." "Hello, Alison." " Hello." "I didn't realize you liked Bach." "Is he on the menu today?" "Did he write any string quartets?" "If he isn't on the menu, you could order him." "You could order a selection of his string quartets, couldn't you?" "Nothing's impossible for a man who likes Fauré's piano sonatas." "Darling, don't be such a rude little snob." "I like music." "I'm ignorant about it, but I do like it." "Do you?" "Or are you just pretending to do so, so you can get in with Mummy'?" "I bet you only came to the concert because you knew it was the sort of place we were likely to be." "Rebecca, I'm not a particularly talented individual." "But good taste... taste in, books, music, and paintings... is one of the most important things in the world to me." "I like your Mum because I respect her intelligence." "But that's not all you're interested in, is it'?" "You can't take her anywhere." "Shh, shh, shh!" "I didn't doubt that if!" "had pushed harder," "Alison would have come across." "But that was just what I didn't want to do." "I let those events 'cake their course and set about enjoying the fruits of my labors." "I see Mr. Phillips' name is no longer over the door." "Yes." "I am on staff now." "We are workers' collective." "L.e., a loss-making organization." "Sorry'?" "Not to worry." "This is my adviser, Mr. Carter." "Hi." "Hello." "Morning, Thomas." "Shall we go up'?" "So how's it going'?" "We now fully participate in all aspects of the school with the students and involve ourselves in many meetings and discussions with them on all aspects of policy." "Mm." "But how's it going'?" "We are overdrawn by £23.000." "Ah." "My friend's about to come into a very great deal of money which I'm managing for him." "Now, I'm glad to advise him to invest in your project." "But we obviously need to go over your books fairly carefully... not least because Clive Phillips is now serving 15 years for..." "It's..." "It's okay." "For the murder of my wife." "I'm very impressed with all that you've done here." "And I'm pleased to tell you that I've decided to buy a controlling interest in the school." "Do you think she'll ever get to learn to like me'?" "Rebecca'?" " Mm." "I'm not trif, am I'?" "Or lush'?" "Or Wicked?" "She's jealous, that's all." "She'll come 'round." "How could she resist the new you?" "The suits, the shoes, the credit card." "You've changed so much." "Since my wife was murdered and I profited from her death to the tune of nearly £2 million'?" "I didn't mean to..." "That awful man, Clive Phillips." "No, no." "It's true." "I didn't really love Karen." "What happened was terrible, but I'd be lying if I said I loved her." "And I wouldn't lie to you." "She wasn't your kind of person." "She didn't know or care about books or music or all the things that matter to me." "She didn't even know the date of the French Revolution." "I mean, I don't know why that's so important, but it was." "It was 1483, wasn't it'?" "Now, about this new house of yours." "There's somewhere terribly nice rather close to me." "Oh, it's that Thomas Carter." "Tell me, do you think he was interested in Karen'?" "Every time I see him, he..." "Shh, he's coming over." "Hi." "Hello." " Alison." "I didn't know you two were seeing each other." "Oh, We're not." "I mean, we are, but..." "We are." "Aren't we'?" "The two of you must come around for dinner." "How about next Saturday?" "Um..." "Yes." "She's getting dolled up." " How nice." "You're going to dinner with Thomas and Lyn Carter, aren't you?" "If you say so, Rebecca." "I hear you're thinking of moving near us." "You're becoming very Rawlinson Road, aren't you?" "I wish you liked me more, Rebecca." "I Wish I did." "But Mummy seems worryingly interested in you." "She has terrible taste in men." "I shall turn the television on so you won't have to feel you have to be charming." "Thank you." "I can't bear it when you're charming." "The accusations are that Detective Inspector {for Lewis of the local police here used unnecessary force in a series of interrogations and witness after witness has come forward to testify to horrific beatings used to extort now obviously worthless confessions from suspects." "This case will undoubtedly reopen many others in which convictions were unlawfully secured." "In view of the inquiry's verdict on me today," "I have decided not to contest my dismissal." "Police work is, as I have said, intensely stressful." "And, may I add, I deeply regret any embarrassment and inconvenience." "ls everything all right'?" "It's fine." "It's fine." "Wow." "You look fantastic." " Thanks." "It was something about the police making mistakes again." "I have great faith in British justice." "Because they didn't arrest you for those murders?" "Rebecca!" "Precisely because of that." "I'm innocent." "And in this country, one is still innocent until proven guilty." "Shall we'?" "Bye." "Hello there." "You may remember me." "It's Moss here." "Chief Inspector Moss." "I was Wondering, if you had a moment, would you mind popping in to see us at the station?" "Just to clarify a few things." "Hi." " Oh, you're there, sir." "Uh, yes." "No problem." "We had been having our doubts about our friend" "Detective Inspector lfor Lewis." "I must say I've always found the Welsh to be very untrustworthy." "As a matter of fact, I'm Welsh on my mother's side." "Not all of them, of course." "Tea, sir'?" "No, thank you." "As a result of this case, a number of convictions have been set aside, one of which being that of Mr. Clive Phillips." "But he murdered my wife." "I wouldn't go around saying that if I were you, sir." "You could find yourself facing charges of slander." "British justice." "I've been given the job of reviewing the evidence." "They didn't seem to trust any of our Welsh boys." "Neither did we, as a matter of fact." "There were certain anomalies in the evidence at the time." "We did communicate these to our colleagues, but I'm afraid D.l. Lewis is a little, um..." "Twisted in his mind." "Yes." "There are one or two items here which could be used to corroborate Mr. Phillips' version of events." "We have a man driving a florist van in Banbury station who describes a car like yours and one like Mr. Phillips'." "Another witness, who was meeting his sister off the Oxford train, he not only confirms the presence of a vehicle like yours but says there were two men in it." "He also identified Clive Phillips," "From a photograph, as one of the men in the car." "Now, we don't want to spend a lot of time reinvestigating this case." "No'?" "Not when we've already put someone away for it for 15 years." "I can see that." "It doesn't make us look too brilliant." "No." "So'?" "We must remember that just because" "Phillips is being released doesn't mean he's innocent." "It doesn't'?" "All the Court of Appeal have said is that he wasn't given a fair trial." "It's entirely a matter of speculation what the outcome would have been if he had." "You mean a guilty man could be set free just because of some technical detail'?" "Happens all the time." "If this case were to be reopened, it... it could be extremely distressing for all of us." "Might make the police force look stupid, and we don't want that, do we'?" "So do me a favor." "Find someone who can verify you were Where you said you were that Saturday in Oxford." "You get my meaning?" "I think I do, Inspector." "I need to go and see a friend of mine." "Lady friend'?" "As it happens, yes." "A very close lady friend." "Though I don't think that will affect the validity of her evidence." "She is a Woman of unimpeachable integrity." "That's good." "Now, perhaps you can help me with one more thing." ""The Iceman buyeth not his round."" "Five letters, beginning with" "I was running out of ideas." "If Alison didn't come across, then I was finished." "But I believed in her." "She was my kind of person, and she was all I had left." "I even believed in you, you unregenerate Marxist twat." "Wherever you are." "Carlos, it's me again." "Look, I don't know what you've been doing in your apart because I am back in your beautiful country, and when you and me meet up, we are going to have rather a good time." "I just hope you're staying out of politics, 'cause I gather things have changed over here and the bastards are back in control." "And if there's one thing I do not want, it's any more trouble from the bloody law." ""The Iceman buyeth not his round."" "Five letters, beginning with" "The reference to O'Neill is probably a red herring." "Drat." "I'll have to think about it." "And don't forget your French essay." "J'essaierai." "She's amazing." "You're getting on so much better." "You said you had some kind of a problem." "It's a bit of a bore, I'm afraid." "It seems there was some kind of irregularity with the way the case against Clive Phillips was mounted." "And they may have to reopen the case." "Oh, dear." "And they want me to come up with..." "An alibi?" "Ah." "I suppose that's the technical term for it." "So do you have one'?" "Well, that's the bore of it." "You see, when you canceled our lunch date," "I was a bit depressed." "So I just stayed at home." "Did nothing." "Saw no one." "I was wondering if perhaps you might do it." "Do what?" "Vouch for me." "But I didn't see you." "I was with my father." "I know." "But you might have done." "But I didn't." "I see your point, Alison." "But we don't want to get too overliteral about this." "It won't be a cross-examination under oath." "And you'll be helping someone that I think you've started to care for as I have started to care for you." "And..." ""Crime."" "What do you mean, dear'?" "The solution to the crossword." "It's an anagram." "The Iceman is Mr. Ice." "And "buyeth not his round" because crime doesn't pay." "No, darling." "No, it doesn't." "That's something I've always tried to teach you." "Well done, you." "I don't know what amazes me more... that you should be prepared to perjure yourself or that you imagined I would." "Evidently we don't know each other as well as I thought." "Evidently." "Look, I've just got to give them a story." "That's all." "Otherwise they're gonna believe a complete fabrication from Clive Phillips." "I know it's a lot to ask, but..." "I thought you cared about me." "You're a hard man to dislike." "I don't want to you to do anything you'd feel bad about." "But do you want me to go to prison?" "No." "Of course I don't." "You don't think I did kill Karen, do you?" "The thought had occurred to me." "I didn't." "I swear I didn't." "I don't like lies of any kind." "Do you know something?" "You were the one I always wanted." "I think you'd better go." "Are you going to pretend to like Bach now to try and curry favor?" "No." "I'm a Tamla Motown man myself." "Whence the sudden access of honesty?" "You're very strict with other people, Rebecca." "Are you as tough on yourself?" "You don't like me." "I know that." "But what I object to is the idea that you're better than me." "You did kill those people, didn't you?" "Actually, Rebecca, I didn't." "But who gives a shit'?" "I do, actually." "And so does Mummy." "Do you?" "Or do you just care about having an easy life'?" "That's all most people care about, really." "Are they going to charge you with the murder'?" "Probably not." "But they might do." "Innocent people get sent to prison all the time." "Right and wrong exist, I'm afraid." "So you never told a lie'?" "You've never tried to make things look a little different than they are'?" "If you asked me to tell a lie for you, I wouldn't care." "I'd do it." "I really would." "But it would be different for you." "Why would it be different'?" "'Cause you're obviously frightfully good at lying." "You can tell by the way your eyes always slide about." "You're priceless, Rebecca." "Priceless." "You see, she'd got to me." "She had the nerve to think that right and wrong were the same as right and left." "And I had to teach her a lesson." "Oh, trif, Rebecca." "Mummy out playing Buxtehude tonight?" "Shall you and I have a little get-together'?" "Did you think I was going to murder Rebecca?" "I swear!" "had no such plan." "AH I was going to do was lock her in her prissy little bedroom while I ran the cat through the Magimix and smeared it all over the walls." "There's a bit of the yob in all of us." "Unfortunately it didn't quite work out as I had planned." "Let's just get one thing clear." "I spent five years in the Marines." "If I chose to, I could do you some very serious damage." "You look nice." "Tommy'?" "Tommy'?" "It's okay, honey." " What is it?" "It's just a cat." "You go to bed." "Tommy'?" "I thought you were poking Karen." "Little too low-rent for me." "So where... well, where..." "where do I fit into all this'?" "If she's having a thing with you, then Why'd she make a play for me'?" "Couldn't keep her satisfied, eh, Carter'?" "You're a funny guy, huh, aren't you?" "One of those dry upper-class types." "Maybe you're so funny because you've never seen brutality." "But I have." "Yeah?" "Which Third World country were you terrorizing at the time'?" "You know, guys like you are what brought me to Oxford, in a strange kind of way..." "The reason you're able to be the way you are." "So how am I'?" "Well, amused by everything." "It's because you can afford to be." "You affect not to believe in anything." "But you're from England, a society with a keel, a tradition of culture and civilization that is strong enough to support lightweights like you." "I get it." "I was the stooge, wasn't I'?" "I was the decoy." "That's why you came into that restaurant that night with you wife and asked us to dinner." "To deflect her attention from you and Alison." "It's been going on as long as you've known us." "We both have children, and we didn't want to hurt them." "What the hell are you doing here, anyway?" "What were you planning to do, write "I hate you" over the walls?" "Steal a book?" "You want to use the knife'?" "Go ahead." "Go on." "Please, stick it up your own ass." "It'll save me the trouble." "Better call the cops." "What, and get your name in the papers?" "How do you explain that to the wife and kiddies?" "Why don't we both just pretend this never happened?" "What and leave you to expose us anytime you feel like it'?" "Well, what are you gonna do, kill me'?" "That is a possibility." "Yah!" "I tell you what I'm gonna do." "You cause any trouble," "I'll tell the cops I went to your house on the Saturday and you Weren't there and your car wasn't in the garage and neither were you there when I called later that evening." "If you do that..." " Mm-hmm'?" "...then I'm totally fucked." "Yeah." "You are." "Now get the hell out of here so I can get out of this nightgown." "Oh, by the way, did you really kill Dennis'?" "Did you kill Karen'?" "No and no." "Funny thing..." "We all liked you." "We really did." "The next day, Chief Inspector Moss here came to call at what I still thought of as Dennis and Karen's house." "I liquidated my investments and headed for the airport." "Don't try and tell me they've traced me here." "All the British police are good for is arresting innocent black people." "The simplest feat of detection is far too much for the average British bobby." "Good night, senor." " Can I help you?" "You are Mister, uh..." "If you can't read the name, make one up." "It's your country, mate..." "You have to arrest him." "How the hell did you find me'?" "Credit cards, my friend." "Only two flights to Malagrena every 24 hours." "I was on the one behind you." "In the hold, by the look of you." "Book him." "I wonder what the state of play is on extradition treaties between Malagrena and the United Kingdom." "I suppose I should have looked into that more closely, shouldn't I'?" "Which is howl come to be here, at a police station in downtown San Bartolomeo," "Where I do not intend staying a moment longer than I have to." "Inspector..." "Tell me, do you know the state of the extradition agreement between Malagrena and the U.K.'?" "Usual procedure." "We present our evidence to the magistrate, they accept it, you come back with us, we try you." "On what evidence?" "Evidence that you killed your wife and her first husband." "I did no such thing." "I repeat..." "I did not murder my wife," "And I did not murder her first husband." "And you know I didn't." "I have admitted unlawfully disposing of my late wife's body, lying to the police and the courts, and conspiring to kidnap and inflict grievous bodily harm upon Clive Phillips, a man who, let me remind you," "insulted me professionally and betrayed me sexually." "Had the British Government charged me with any of these offenses," "I should have had no alternative but to plead guilty and let the law take its course." "But they did not... for the simple reason that none of these crimes fall Within the terms of the extradition treaty between our two governments." "The British police therefore have resorted to fabricating charges in a category which is covered by the treaty, namely murder." "And this crime, gentlemen, I did not commit." "What we call justice is mainly, as we all know, a matter of political expediency." "Societies punish outsiders." "And I am an outsider in English society." "But I hope, and indeed pray, that I may be accepted in this, my country of choice, Malagrena." "I rest my case." "Who are those guys'?" "Well, one is from our embassy and the other, I think, is someone rather high up in the Malagrenan Security Services." "That's us." "While we are mindful of the relationship between our two countries, it seems to me, from what I have heard, that the accused's version of events is more of less sustained by the available evidence." "I am therefore going to have to refuse the request for extradition." "You, sir, are free to go." "Your Excellency, I thank you." "My faith in South American justice has been vindicated." "So it went your way." "The beak is a great Anglophile, I hear." "Unlike me." "Would you accept a little advice from a cynical old plod'?" "Your friend Senor Garcia is a respectable secret policeman this side of the water." "I wouldn't advertise your presence here too energetically." "Inspector, this is a large city, and I intend to live very, very quietly." "Welcome to my country." "Look..."