"I'll knock you block off, you big stiff!" "You'e a bum!" "Stike!" "You'e out!" "Elme, hee it is." "I knew you'd find it." "Boy, I could sue use a dink." "I wonde if any big shots ae getting maied today?" "Looks like the same suckes get maied evey day." "Come on." "Hey, the guy with the cheates." "Now what's he hiding fom?" "Hey, isn't that Motime Bewste?" "Motime Bewste, the damatic citic?" "No, it's not him." "But what a scoop it'd be!" "The guy who wote The Bachelor's Bible getting hooked." "It's too good to be tue." "Let's snap the mayo in his new fie helmet and go." "Let's stick aound, see who the guy is." ""Two by two they come and go"" "Good moning, childen." "You name, please?" "Elaine Hape." "Speak a little loude." "Elaine Hape." "Thank you." "Yous?" "Motime Bewste." "How's that?" "Motime Bewste." "Speak up, sonny." "Thee's nothing to be afaid of." "I want to keep this undecove." "Love he?" "Of couse you love he." "You'e maying he, ight?" "You don't undestand." "Come hee." "I don't want this to get out fo a while." "I'm Motime Bewste." "You'e who?" "Motime Bew" "That's him!" "M. Bewste!" "Now, look" "Goodbye, dea." "Don't you undestand?" "How can I may you?" "Me, the symbol of bachelohood." "I've sneeed at evey love scene." "I've witten fou million wods against maiage!" "Not only hooked, but to a ministe's daughte, and a gil fom Booklyn." "Look at the way you look!" "What is that contaption you've got thee?" "A pin I boowed fom you aunts." "You know, "Something boowed--"" "I know, "Something boowed, something blue." Old, new." "Rice and old shoes." "Cay you ove the theshold." "Niagaa Falls." "All that silly tipe." "Is this what I've come to?" "I can't go though with it." "I won't may you." "That's that." "Yes, Motime." "What do you mean, "Yes, Motime"?" "Aen't you insulted?" "Aen't you going to cy?" "No, Motime." "And don't "No, Motime" me, eithe!" "Maiage is a supestition." "It's old-fashioned." "It's...." "O'Haa, don't be a jek." "You don't ealize I'm tuning ove to you the nicest, best beat in Booklyn." "Now look at that old chuch." "And them old houses." "Did Geoge Washington eve sleep hee?" "Of couse he did." "This whole neighbohood just stinks with atmosphee." "And look at that old house." "The oiginal ownes still thee?" "Don't cack wise about the Bewste sistes." "They'e two of the deaest, sweetest old ladies that eve walked the eath." "They'e out of this wold." "They'e like pessed ose leaves." "Pessed ose leaves?" "The old gils must be kind of had up." "Thei old man left them fixed fo life." "Don't you call them "the gils," eithe." "Bophy." "Is Lieutenant aound?" "So what ae they enting ooms fo?" "They don't." "But you can bet if anybody came looking fo a oom they wouldn't go away without a good meal and a couple of bucks." "That's thei way of digging up people to do good to." "Reveend Hape, I do hope you don't disappove of Motime because he's a damatic citic and takes you daughte to the theate." "It's not that I disappove of his being a citic but no man with this published attitude should take any man's daughte anyplace, at any time." "I must be catching cold." "No, dea." "It was Reveend Hape who sneezed." "Bless you." "We mustn't be angy with Motime." "He's so vey much in love with he." "Siste Matha and I ae so happy." "He used to come to see us only occasionally, and now he's in Booklyn six nights a week." "Remembe now, watch you language." "You know I'm not a sweaing man." "You'd be supised what they'd conside sweaing." "Will you excuse me?" "No, no, Teddy, dea." "Thank you." "I'll go." "Come ight in, M. Bophy." "Miss Abby, we came fo the toys." "This is Office O'Haa." "He's taking ove my beat." "How do you do, miss?" "Welcome to ou neighbohood." "Gentlemen, what news have you bought me?" "Colonel, we have nothing to epot." "No, absolutely nothing to epot." "Splendid!" "Thank you, gentlemen." "At ease." "You know the Reveend D. Hape fom the chuch next doo?" "Hello." "This is Office O'Haa, the new man on the beat." "How do you do, si?" "It's nice to meet you." "The toys ae on the chai up hee, by the libay doo." "Teddy, un upstais and bing down you Amy and Navy fom Aunt Matha's oom." "They'e all packed." "That's splendid wok you men do, fixing up discaded toys fo the kids at camp." "Chage!" "It gives us something to do at the station." "You get tied of playing cads." "So these ae the toys?" "How's Ms. Bophy?" "She's bette, thank you." "But a little weak, still." "I'll get some beef both fo you to take to he." "Please don't bothe." "You've done so much aleady." "Stop the nonsense!" "I won't be a minute." "Gentlemen, if I know what pue kindness and absolute geneosity ae it's because I've known the Bewste sistes." "Teddy, you pomised me you wouldn't do that anymoe." "But I have to call a Cabinet meeting to get those supplies." "Now don't do that again." "Do you hea me?" "He used to do that at night and the neighbos aised Cain." "They'e afaid of him." "Look, Sage, I pomised I wouldn't swea, but what the heck" "What's going on hee?" "He's quite hamless." "He thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt." "Thee's a lot of wose guys he could think he was." "That's ight." "I'll make a note." "He's an inteesting chaacte." "Isn't it a shame, Fathe...." "Isn't it a shame, Reveend, that this nice family should be hatching a cuckoo?" "Well, now, isn't this nice!" "Good aftenoon, Miss Bewste." "How do you do?" "Good aftenoon." "Reveend, how do you do?" "Miss Matha, Office O'Haa." "He's taking ove my duties." "How do you do?" "I'm vey glad to know you." "Thank you." "Matha, you'e back." "Hee's the both fo Ms. Bophy." "Be sue it's good and hot." "You bet I will, and thank you vey much." "The Amy and Navy ae eady fo action." "Colonel, this is gand." "It'll make a lot of kids happy." "What's this?" "The Oegon?" "Teddy, dea, put it back." "But the Oegon goes to Austalia." "Now, Teddy...." "No, it goes to Austalia." "These ae lovely." "Thank you." "Not at all." "The childen will go cazy." "Don't mention it." "So long, Colonel." "Hey, Sage." "Yes." "Dismissed!" "Goodbye and thank you." "Don't mention it." "Caeful of the step with the toys." "Good night." "Young man, let that be a lesson to you." "Goodbye." "Well, I must be going." "Chage!" "Chage the blockhouse!" "Blockhouse?" "The stais ae always San Juan Hill." "Bless you!" "Have you tied to pesuade him he wasn't Roosevelt?" "Oh, no!" "He's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt." "Do you emembe, Matha?" "Once, a long time ago, we thought if he'd be Geoge Washington it might be a change fo him, and we suggested it." "And do you know what happened?" "He just stayed unde his bed fo days and wouldn't be anybody." "Well, if he's happy, and what's moe impotant, you'e happy...." "Ou only woy fo Teddy is afte we'e gone." "Yes, indeed." "That is quite a poblem." "Motime's made all the aangements fo Teddy to go to Happy Dale Sanitaium afte we pass on." "Splendid idea!" "A vey pleasant place." "Dea, sweet Reveend Hape." "You know, Matha, I do believe he's beginning to see the light." "I'm sue we needn't woy about him." "He won't intefee with ou plans fo Motime and Elaine." "Did you just have tea?" "Yes." "And dinne's going to be late, too." "So, why?" "Good news fo you." "You'e going to Panama and dig anothe lock fo the canal." "Delighted!" "That's bully!" "Just bully!" "I shall pepae at once fo the jouney." "Chage!" "Abby!" "While I was out?" "Yes, dea." "I just couldn't wait fo you." "I didn't know when you'd be back, and Reveend Hape was coming." "But all by youself." "I got along fine." "I'll un ight downstais and see." "No, dea." "Thee wasn't time." "And I was all alone." "Well?" "Just look in the windowseat." "It's Elaine!" "Hello, dalings." "But, Elaine!" "What did she mean?" "You don't suppose they've gone and" "Listen, buddy." "This old cab has seen osculation but...." "You ain't seen anything yet." "You've got to dive us to the station." "Take he hat." "Wait a minute." "And he booch." "If you find he haipins, keep them." "Hold on to that." "Thee they ae." "Hee's you hat." "Just thow it." "I don't like that look in you eyes." "What's the matte with it?" "Fathe peached about it only last Sunday." "He did?" "What did he say?" "He was against it." "But that was only Sunday." "Please!" "Fo heaven's sake!" "But, Motime, ight out hee with eveyone looking?" "Yes, ight out hee with eveyone looking." "Let eveyone in Booklyn ove 16 look." "But, Motime, you'e going to love me fo my mind, too?" "One thing at a time." "Thee's that look again!" ""Thee's that look again, Motime! " You bette get used to it." "You'll see it often." "It goes just befoe this." "You know what we'e doing?" "Wasting time." "I'll go tell my aunts and you tell you...." "No, don't tell you fathe." "You'll un his cold into a pneumonia." "I can handle Fathe." "He's a dea." "Look, why don't we wie him fom Niagaa Falls?" "Niagaa Falls?" "That's why you stopped at you office." "Yes, cetainly!" "We'e going to go the whole hog." "Niagaa Falls!" "Eveybody ought to go thee." "You should've seen my secetay's face." "We've a oom on the tain, the bidal suite in the hotel and tomoow moning we go ove the falls in a bael." "Go on, daling, huy and pack." "I don't have to." "I stated packing the day afte I met you." "Thee, you see!" "You see?" "That's what I mean." "That's what I hate about women." "I wonde what May's doing now?" "The tain leaves in an hou, huy." "It'll be a few minutes." "Fathe may want to pay ove me." "Whistle when you'e eady." "When you whistle, open the font doo fast." "If you see a tall, dak steak of light, it's me." "What?" "Now?" "No, not now!" "Look supised when he tells us." "Hold on to you bustles." "We'e maied." "Elaine and I ae maied." "Oh, daling, how wondeful!" "Isn't it wondeful?" "They'e maied!" "Don't petend to be so supised eithe, you two old fauds." "Can I use the telephone?" "Of couse." "Isn't it too, too wondeful?" "And to think that it happened ight hee in this oom!" "Now, hee." "Benson's Floists?" "This is Motime Bewste." "Did you send those oses to Ms. Bewste?" "Good." "Send fou dozen moe to dawing oom A, Gand Cental Station." "Huy." "And thow in a flock of oange blossoms." "But befoe you go, we can have ou celebation." "I'll open a bottle of wine and we'll sing." "And we'll invite a few neighbos in." "And, of couse, a wedding cake." "You won't have time to bake a cake." "We'e going to Niagaa Falls." "A taxi's waiting." "It's all eady." "It's been eady since" "I bet it's been eady since the fist day I met he." "Did eveybody know I was getting maied, except me?" "We knew you'd find out about it in time." "I've got the two nicest aunts in the wold." "Of couse, you've got the nicest nephew in the wold, too." "Well, I'll un along and get eveything eady." "Oh, dea." "I do hope the Reveend isn't too angy." "You know how you books upset him." "I'm going to bun all my books." "I'll let the Reveend light the fist match." "Did I leave some notes hee fo my new book?" "You mean Mind Over Matrimony?" "Whee ae they?" "I hid them someplace" "Come along." "Now you behave." "Let's find them befoe Elaine sees them." "Hello, Motime!" "How ae you, M. Pesident?" "Bully, thank you." "Just bully." "What news have you bought me?" "The county's squaely behind you." "Yes, I know." "Isn't it wondeful?" "Well, goodbye." "I'm off to Panama." "Goodbye, M. Pesident." "A new lock fo the canal, you know." ""Oh, tell the news to Mothe"" "Oh, dea." "Find those notes?" "What's wong?" "Thee's a baby pictue of you bothe Jonathan." "You ought to put that in the fie with my books." "My, what a face!" "I emembe now." "He'd scae gownups with it." "Just the thought of Jonathan fightens me." "Do you emembe how he used to cut woms in two with his teeth?" "Jonathan?" "He's pobably in pison o hanged o something by now." "I saw a play, had a chaacte in it, eminded me of Jonathan." "Really?" "A honey of a lunatic." "One of those whodunits called Murder Will Out." "Oh, dea!" "Yeah, what a play." "When the cutain goes up, the fist thing you see is a dead body." "The next thing" "Hey, miste." "Happy bidegoom!" "Congatulations, daling!" "Neve mind that now." "Now, listen, dalings." "You know how we've always planned to send Teddy to Happy Dale?" "Yes, dea." "That's afte we'e gone." "Yes, we talked with Reveend Hape about it." "Teddy's got to go to Happy Dale now." "At once!" "He's in the cella." "Get him up hee now." "Thee's no such huy as that." "When Teddy's woking on the canal, you can't get his mind on anything else." "Well, look, dalings." "I'm fightfully soy, but I've got an awful shock fo you." "Teddy's killed a man, dalings!" "Nonsense!" "Thee's a body in the windowseat!" "Yes, dea." "We know." "You know?" "Of couse." "Yes, but it has nothing to do with Teddy." "Now, Motime." "You just foget about it." "Foget you eve saw the gentleman." "Foget?" "We neve deamed you'd peek." "What the...." "Who is he?" "He's a M. Hoskins." "Adam Hoskins." "That's eally all I know about him, except that he's a Methodist." "He's a Methodist?" "Isn't that nice." "That's all you know?" "What's he doing hee?" "What happened to him?" "He died." "Aunt Matha, men just don't get into windowseats and die." "No, dea." "He died fist." "Wait!" "Stop all this." "Now look, how did he die?" "Motime, don't be so inquisitive." "The gentleman died because he dank some wine with poison in it." "How did the poison get in the wine?" "We put it in wine because it's less noticeable." "When it's in tea, it has a distinct odo." "You mean you...." "You put it in the wine?" "Yes." "And I put M. Hoskins in the windowseat because Reveend Hape was coming." "Look at me, daling." "You knew what you'd done and didn't want Reveend Hape to see the body?" "Well, not at tea." "That wouldn't have been vey nice." "It's fist-degee." "Now, Motime, you know all about it and just foget about it." "I do think that Matha and I have the ight to ou own little secets." "Abby, while I was out I dopped in on Ms. Schultz." "She's much bette." "But she wants us to take Junio to the movies again." "We must do that, tomoow o next day." "Yes, but this time we'll go whee we want to go." "Junio's not going to dag me into anothe one of those scay pictues." "They ought not to be allowed to make pictues just to fighten people." "Opeato?" "Can you hea my voice?" "You can?" "Ae you sue?" "Then I must be hee." "The deas." "Isn't Halloween a wondeful time fo them?" "Yes, it is." "They have so much fun." "Now, Motime, don't be so impatient." "We'll let you lick the bowl." "Lick the bowl?" "I don't want to." "I want to know what we'e going to do!" "We'e going to celebate." "Celebate?" "Thee's a body in the windowseat!" "Yes, dea." "M. Hoskins." "I know what his name is." "I want to know what we'e going to do." "We can't tun you ove to the police." "Stop woying about it." "We told you to foget the whole thing." "Foget?" "Can't I make you ealize that something has to be done?" "Now, Motime, you behave." "You'e too old to be flying off the handle like this." "But M. Hodgekiss" "Hoskins, dea." "Whateve his name is, you can't leave him in thee." "We don't intend to, dea." "Teddy's down in the cella now, digging the lock." "You'e going to buy M. Hodgekiss in the cella?" "Yes, dea." "That's what we did with the othes." "Look, hee, Aunt Matha." "You can't...." "Othes?" "The othe gentlemen." "When you say "othes," do you mean "othes"?" "Moe than one "othes"?" "Yes, dea." "Let me see now." "This is 1 1, isn't it, Abby?" "No, dea." "This makes 12." "Abby, dea, I think you'e wong." "This one is only 1 1 ." "No, dea, because I emembe when M. Hoskins fist came in it occued to me that he'd make just an even dozen." "But, Abby, dea, I eally don't think you should count the fist one." "I was counting the fist one, and that makes it 12." "It does?" "Well, she's pobably ight." "Abby usually is." "I get them mixed up sometimes." "Makes it 12." "Hello." "Whateve is the matte with Motime today?" "Why, Abby, what do you think happened to him?" "Hello?" "Not now." "Fo heaven's sake, keep you shit on!" "Elaine, I didn't mean" "Now, let's see." "Whee wee we?" "Twelve." "Twelve!" "Yes, dea." "Abby thinks we should count the fist one." "Neve mind about that." "Just sit down." "Tell me, who was the fist one?" "M. Midgely." "He was a Baptist." "He was such a lonely, old gentleman." "All his kith and kin wee dead." "We felt so soy fo him." "And then, when his heat attack came and he sat thee dead in that chai looking so peaceful." "Remembe, Matha?" "We made up ou minds, then and thee that if we could help othe lonely, old men to find that same peace we would." "Why, you poo...." "You mean, he dopped dead ight in this chai?" "And then, you see, Teddy came up fom digging in Panama and he thought M. Midgely was a yellow-feve victim." "And that meant he had to be buied immediately." "So, we all took him down to Panama and put him in the lock and gave him a decent Chistian buial." "Thee, now you see?" "That's why we told you not to bothe about it because we know exactly what's to be done." "Wait a minute!" "Come hee, daling." "What about the othes?" "All 12 of them didn't walk in hee and dop dead." "No, dea." "Of couse not!" "Well, so...." "Motime." "What?" "Do you emembe those jas of poison on the shelves in Gandfathe's laboatoy all these yeas?" "You know you Aunt Matha's knack fo mixing things." "You've eaten enough of he piccalilli." "Well, dea, fo a gallon of eldebey wine I take one teaspoonful of asenic then add half a teaspoonful of stychnine." "And then, just a pinch of cyanide." "Should have quite a kick." "As a matte of fact, one of ou gentlemen found time to say:" ""How delicious! "" "He did?" "Well, wasn't that nice of him?" "Abby, we mustn't be standing hee gossiping all night." "We must get that cake fosted." "Don't woy about the cake." "I couldn't eat a thing." "You newlyweds!" "A sip of wine will give you an appetite." "That'd be nice, daling, a sip of...." "A sip of wine!" "Wine!" "I'm beginning to think the cat's in on this." "He's wondeful." "Happy as a lak." "Singing away, digging locks." "Got him woking on a yellow-feve victim." "I can see the headlines now:" ""Mude lncopoato Rides Again" ight acoss the font page." "Let me see...." "Teddy!" "Of couse." "Eveybody knows he's cazy." "Let me see." "Who can I call up?" "Dewey, La Guadia, Winchell?" "No, Winchell's no good." "Old Judge Cullman!" "I wonde if I got his numbe." "What am I doing with tickets?" "lnfomation." "lnfomation?" "Get me the numbe of Judge Cullman on Noth Shoe Road, Booklyn." "Yeah, would you call me back?" "Wouldn't it be mavelous if he wasn't thee?" "Hey, you!" "Thought you wee tall, dak steak of light." "What ae you doing hee?" "What am I doing hee?" "Didn't you hea me whistle?" "Whistle?" "Oh, yes." "I head you whistle." "How do I look?" "You look fine." "Run on home." "I'll call you up tomoow." "Tomoow?" "You know I always call you up evey day o two." "You and you gags!" "Whee's you hat?" "The bags ae in the taxi." "Come on!" "I'm so soy." "Something's happened." "What'd you do, lose you neve?" "Whee's that look I was going to see so often?" "Stop!" "Don't whistle in my ea, please." "What's wong?" "Look at you hai." "What colo is it?" "Has it tuned?" "Daling, what's the matte?" "What happened?" "Those flowes ae so beautiful." "If I could only tell you, Elaine." "You smell so nice." "You bette go home!" "But, daling, we wee maied today." "Go to bed, get some est!" "Rest?" "Who?" "Judge Cullman?" "This is Motime Bewste." "I'll tell you why I called you." "It's about Teddy." "I've got to come ove and see you ight away." "It won't wait until tomoow, Judge." "It's vey, vey impotant." "We've got to do something immediately." "But it's a matte of life and...." "Elaine!" "Will you get out of hee?" "What on eath is going on hee?" "I don't know whee I stand!" "Anywhee, but don't stand thee!" "But Niagaa Falls!" "If it does, we'll let it!" "Wait a minute!" "Listen." "You can't may me and then thow me out!" "I'm not thowing you out of the house!" "Will you get out of hee?" "I'm soy, Judge." "A thing happened." "Judge, about Teddy, he's" "It's his bugle blowing." "The police want to thow him into a state institution." "How do you like that?" "I ead an ad hee about a oom to ent." "Shut up!" "If you sign the papes and Teddy commits himself, we can get him to Happy Dale." "It's a wondeful place." "You will?" "Fine!" "I'll be ove as soon as I've made anothe call." "Doobell's inging, dea." "How do you do?" "Come in." "I undestand you've got a oom to ent." "Do step in." "Ae you the lady of the house?" "Yes, I'm Miss Bewste." "Opeato?" "Give me long distance, please." "And this is my siste." "Anothe Miss Bewste." "My name's Gibbs." "Well, do sit down." "I'm soy, we'e just setting the table fo dinne." "Now, this would be a nice comfotable chai." "Long distance?" "I want the Happy Dale Sanitaium, Happy Dale, New Yok." "Is Booklyn you home?" "I live in a hotel." "Don't like it." "Ae you family Booklyn people?" "Haven't got any family." "All alone in the wold?" "Well, Matha...." "No, Happy Dale." "Well, you've come to just the ight house." "Do sit down." "Dale." ""D" like in "dig," when you dig a lock." "That's ight." ""A" like in "asenic." Got that?" "Is thee always this much noise?" "He doesn't live with us." "I can see the headlines now." "Please." "I'd like to see the oom." "I don't think I'll like it." "The oom's upstais." "Won't you ty a glass of ou wine befoe we stat up?" "Neve touch it." "Well, we make this ouselves." "It's eldebey wine." "Eldebey?" "I haven't tasted eldebey wine since I was a boy." "Thank you." "Opeato!" "I don't want the Happy Dale Laundy!" "I want the Happy Dale Sanitaium!" "Sanitaium!" "Sanitaium!" "Yes, like a boken ecod!" "Have you own eldebey bushes?" "No, but the cemetey's full of them." "Well, skoal." "Hello, opeato!" "What's taking so long?" "It's only acoss the ive!" "I could swim it faste!" "Yes!" "Hello!" "Hell" "What" "What, they'e busy?" "Busy?" "They'e busy and you'e dizzy!" "No, I'm not dunk, madam, but you've given me an idea!" "Daling, I'm nevous." "Don't do that." "Not that." "Get out of hee!" "Do you want to be poisoned, mudeed, killed?" "They'e nuts!" "You'e telling me!" "Look, you can't do things like that!" "Now I don't know how I can explain this to you but it's not only against the law, it's wong." "Oh, piffle!" "It's not a nice thing to do." "People wouldn't undestand." "He wouldn't undestand." "What I mean is...." "This is developing into a vey bad habit!" "Who?" "Happy Dale Sanitaium?" "That's amazing, opeato." "Happy Dale?" "Let me talk to M. Withespoon, please." "M. Withespoon speaking." "How do you do, M. Bewste?" "How ae you?" "M. Withespoon, do you-- I'm fine, thanks." "How ae you?" "Do you emembe ou convesation about committing my bothe to Happy Dale?" "You do?" "Well, we want to commit him thee immediately." "Oh, dea." "Oh, dea." "That's too bad." "Well, I'd hoped we wouldn't have him fo some time yet." "We have seveal Theodoe Roosevelts at the moment and it would lead to touble." "Well, now, if he thought that" "M. Bewste, we'e a bit shot of Napoleons at pesent." "Bonapate." "And if" "Oh, I see." "Of couse." "Well, if you mind is made up." "Yes." "Have you had the papes dawn up?" "No, but I'll do it now and call you as soon as I have them." "Thank you, M." " What?" "All ight." "Thank you, M. Withespoon." "Anothe Roosevelt." "Oh, dea." "Now listen, I'm going to Judge Cullman's, but I want you to pomise me something." "Well, we'd have to know what it was fist." "I love you both vey much." "You know I'd do anything fo you, don't you?" "Yes, dea." "I want you to do one thing fo me, like good gils." "What do you want us to do?" "Don't do anything." "I mean, don't do anything!" "Don't let anyone in the house and leave M. Whosit whee he is." "Get off that thing." "I can't talk to you...." "I can't concentate." "I wouldn't want anything in the wold to happen to you." "What on eath could happen to us?" "Well, daling...." "Anyway, you'll do that little thing fo me, won't you?" "Whee's my hat?" "Thee it is." "But, Motime." "What?" "We wee planning to hold sevices befoe dinne." "Couldn't that wait until I get back?" "You could join us in the hymns!" "Yes, daling, I'll sing with you, I'll dance with you, anything." "Remembe, don't let anybody in the house until I get back." "You pomise?" "Good." "What?" "Stop that." "What is it?" "M. Hoskins' hat!" "Do you still want me to wait?" "Yes!" "Call me a cab!" "Hey, cab!" "Hee you ae." "Don't open it." "I'll sit with you!" "Yeah, that's ight." "I can go faste that way." "Sue." "Wait a minute!" "What am I doing?" "Fancy getting nice M. Hoskins' hat all mussed up." "Shame!" "Such a nice hat." "You know, Motime didn't seem to be quite himself today." "Oh, well." "What wee you saying about Motime?" "I think I undestand why he seemed so upset." "Why?" "He's just been maied." "I believe that always makes a man a little nevous." "Yes." "The poo deas." "I'm so happy fo Elaine." "Abby!" "If Motime's coming back fo the sevices, we'll need anothe hymnal." "Thee's one up in my oom." "I'll go, dea." "We pomised Motime we wouldn't let anyone come in." "It's two men, and I've neve seen them befoe." "Ae you sue?" "Yes." "Let me look." "You look." "Do you ecognize them?" "No, they'e stanges to me." "We'll just have to petend we'e not at home." "Come in, docto." "This is the home of my youth." "As a boy, I couldn't wait to escape fom this house." "Now I'm glad to escape back into it." "Yes, Johnny, it's a good hideout." "The family must still live hee." "I hope thee's a fatted calf awaiting the etun of the podigal." "A fatted calf?" "." "Johnny, I'm so hungy." "Look, Johnny." "Dink." "As if we wee expected." "A good omen." "Who ae you?" "What ae you doing hee?" "Aunt Abby." "Aunt Matha." "It's Jonathan." "You get out of hee!" "I'm Jonathan, you know." "You nephew, Jonathan." "No, you'e not." "You'e nothing like Jonathan, so don't petend you ae." "You just get out of hee." "I see you'e still weaing the lovely ganet ing that Gandma Bewste bought in England." "And you, Aunt Matha, still the high colla to hide the sca whee Gandfathe's acid buned you." "Why, his voice is like Jonathan's." "Have you been in an accident?" "My face." "D. Einstein is esponsible fo that." "He's a plastic sugeon." "But I've seen that face befoe." "Do you emembe when we took the little Schultz boy to the movies and I was so fightened?" "It was that face." "Take it easy, Johnny." "Take it easy." "Don't woy." "The last five yeas, I give him thee diffeent faces." "I give him anothe one ight away." "That last face." "I saw that pictue, too just befoe I opeated." "I was intoxicated." "You see, docto, what you've done to me?" "Even my own family think I'm" "Johnny, Johnny!" "You ae home in this lovely house." "You know how many times he tells me about Booklyn, about this house and about his aunts he loves so much?" "They know you." "Please tell him so." "Jonathan it's been a long time." "Bless you." "It's good to be home again." "We mustn't let what's on the stove boil ove." "If you'll excuse us fo a moment, Jonathan." "Unless you'e in a huy to go somewhee." "Whee do we go fom hee?" "You know, we got to think fast." "The police got pictues of that face." "I got to opeate on you ight away." "We got to find someplace." "We got to find someplace fo M. Spenalzo, too." "Don't waste any woy on that at." "But we got a hot stiff on ou hands." "Foget M. Spenalzo." "But, Johnny, we can't leave a dead body in the umble seat." "You shouldn't have killed him." "Just because he knows something about us, what happens?" "We come to him fo help and he ties to shake us down." "Besides, he said I looked like Bois Kaloff." "That's you wok, docto." "You did that to me." "Please, Johnny, take it easy." "We'll find some place and I'll fix you up ight away." "Yes, tonight, but I have to eat fist." "This time, I want the face of an absolute nonentity." "Yes." "I know exactly what I'm going to do." "You see, I'm going to take this piece hee and lift it up" "Be caeful about the stitches this time." "You leave that up to me." "I'll give you nice eas and" "You wee caeless last time." "And new stitches." "And on the eyes I'll do a Schmidt." "That's my specialty." "I take it togethe like this" "Leave the eyes alone." "Leave the nose alone." "Poo Teddy." "I imagine it's fo the best." ""Ous not to eason why, ous but to do--"" "Sign ight hee, please, Judge." "Excuse me." "Right thee." "Sometimes I think, with the wold in its pesent chaotic state" "Yes, we'd all be bette off at Happy Dale." "I sign hee as next of kin, don't I?" "Only last week I ceated a mild sensation at the Ba Association, when I said" "Goodbye." "Good luck, Judge." "Thank you." "Tell Matha and Abby I'll be ove this week." "I've been feeling athe lonely." "No!" "Neve tell them you've been lonely." "Neve!" "Why, I don't" "Judge!" "Tell me, ae you a dinking man?" "Why, no." "I neve indulge." "Good!" "Then you'll live longe." "Of couse a little wine now" "No!" "Fo heaven's sake, no wine!" "I may be committing the wong Bewste." "Well, I'm sue you both want to get to wheeve you'e going." "My dea, sweet aunties, I'm so full of you delicious dinne..." "..." "I'm unable to move a muscle." "Yes, it's nice hee." "I found it!" "Gentlemen, be seated." "Hee it is, gentlemen." "The stoy of my life, my biogaphy." "Hee's the pictue I was telling you about." "Hee we both ae." "Pesident Roosevelt and Geneal Goethals at Culeba Cut." "That's me, Geneal, and that's you." "My, how I've changed!" "That pictue hasn't been taken yet." "We haven't stated wok on Culeba Cut." "We'e still digging locks." "And now, Geneal, we will both go to Panama and inspect the new lock." "No, Teddy." "Not to Panama." "Maybe some othe time, M. Pesident." "Panama is a long ways off." "Nonsense!" "It's just down in the cella." "The cella?" "We let him dig the Panama Canal in the cella." "Geneal Goethals?" "Yes, si." "As Pesident of the US, Commande in Chief of the Amy and Navy and the man who gave you this job I demand that you accompany me on the inspection of the new lock." "I think it's time fo you to go to bed." "I beg you padon." "Who ae you?" "I'm Woodow Wilson." "Go to bed." "No, you'e not Wilson." "But you face is familia." "You'e not anyone I know now." "Pehaps late, on my hunting tip to Afica." "You look like someone I might meet in the jungle." "I think, pehaps, you had bette go to bed, Teddy." "He and his fiend want to get back to thei hotel." "Geneal Goethals, inspect the canal." "All ight, M. Pesident, we go to Panama." "Bully, bully!" "Follow me, Geneal." "It's down south, you know." "Well, bon voyage!" "I must coect you misappehension." "You talked of ou hotel." "We have no hotel." "We came hee diectly." "This is not you home, and I'm afaid you can't stay hee." "D. Einstein and I need a place to sleep." "You emembe that, as a boy, I could be disageeable." "It would not be pleasant fo any of us if...." "I don't have to go into details, do I?" "Pehaps we'd bette let them stay hee tonight." "Come hee." "Quick." "I fogot to tell you Docto and I ae tuning Gandfathe's laboatoy into an opeating oom." "We expect to be vey busy." "Down hee, what do you think I find?" "What?" "The Panama Canal." "And it just fits M. Spenalzo." "See the hole he's digging." "Fou feet wide, six feet long." "He just fits!" "You'd think he knew we wee binging M. Spenalzo along." "That's hospitality." "Rathe a good joke on my aunts." "They'e living in a house with a body buied in the cella." "How do we get him in hee?" "Yes, we can't just walk M. Spenalzo in though the doo." "We'll get the ca and afte they'e in bed, we'll bing him in though the window." "Bed." "We'e moving the ca behind the house." "You'd bette get to bed." "The ca is all ight whee it is until moning." "I don't want to leave it in the steet." "That might be against the law." "What ae we going to do?" "We'e not going to let them spend moe than one night in this house." "What would the neighbos think?" "People coming in hee with one face and going out with anothe." "What ae we going to do about M. Hoskins?" "M. Hoskins!" "It can't be vey comfotable fo him in thee." "And he's been so patient, the poo dea." "I think Teddy had bette take M. Hoskins downstais ight away." "Geneal Goethals was vey pleased." "He said the canal was just the ight size." "Teddy, thee's been anothe yellow-feve victim." "Dea me!" "This will be a shock to the Geneal." "No, we must keep it a secet." "A state secet?" "Yes, a state secet." "Pomise?" "You have the wod of the Pesident of the United States." "Coss my heat and hope to die." "Now, let's see." "How ae we going to keep it a secet?" "Teddy, I think you'd bette get back down into the cella." "And then when I tun out the lights, when eveything's dak hee you come up and take the poo man down to the canal." "Now get along." "And we'll come down late and hold sevices." "Whee is the poo devil?" "In the windowseat." "It seems to be speading." "We've neve had yellow feve thee befoe." "I've neve even seen M. Hoskins!" "My goodness!" "That's ight, you wee out." "You just come ight along and see him now." "You know, he's eally vey nice looking, consideing that he's a Methodist." "We'e binging the luggage though hee." "You oom is waiting fo you." "You can go ight up." "I'm afaid we don't keep Booklyn hous." "You two un along to bed." "But you must be vey tied." "Both of you." "And we don't go to bed this ealy." "It's time I came home to take cae of you." "Take the bags upstais." "Fo the instuments, I'll come back late." "Good night." "Now, we'll all go to bed." "I'll wait until you'e up and then tun out the lights." "Run along, Aunt Matha." "Just off the laboatoy, Docto." "All ight, Aunt Abby." "I'll be ight up." "Now!" "Tun out the lights." "Aunt Abby." "He's all ight, Johnny." "I'll open the window." "You go ound and hand him though." "But he's too heavy fo me." "You go outside and push, and I'll stay hee and pull." "And then togethe we take him down to Panama." "All ight." "We must be quick." "I'll take a look aound outside the house." "When I tap on the glass, you open the window." "Yeah." "It's dak in hee." "Whee am I?" "Hee I am." "Who left this open?" "Okay, wait a minute." "Hand him ove." "Now I have him." "Allez, up!" "Now, wait a minute." "You lost a leg somewhee." "Help me." "He's so heavy." "Now I have him." "Now I got him." "Be caeful." "But his shoe came off." "Help me." "He's so heavy." "Now I've got him!" "Johnny, somebody's at the doo." "Go open, quick." "I'll manage Spenalzo." "Go, quick!" "Motime!" "Aunt Abby!" "Aunt Matha!" "Who is it?" "Is that you, Teddy?" "Who ae you?" "I'm Elaine Hape." "I live next doo." "What ae you doing hee?" "I came hee to see my husband, Motime." "Why did you say you name was Hape?" "It is Hape." "I mean, it's Bewste." "I'm not vey used to it." "I'm a band-new Bewste." "Docto!" "It's all ight." "It's okay." "Maybe you'd bette explain what you'e doing hee." "We happen to live hee." "You don't live hee." "I'm in this house evey day, I've neve seen you befoe." "Whee ae Matha and Abby?" "What have you done to them?" "Pehaps we'd bette intoduce ouselves." "May I pesent D. Einstein?" "D. Einstein?" "A sugeon of geat distinction." "And something of a magician." "I suppose you'll tell me you'e Bois" "I am Jonathan Bewste." "You'e Jonathan." "You've head of me?" "Yes, they talk about you." "What do they say about me?" "Just that thee's anothe bothe named Jonathan, that's all." "That explains eveything." "Now that I know who you ae I'll just be unning along if you'll kindly unlock the doo." ""That explains eveything." Just what do you mean by that?" "Why do you come hee at this time of night?" "I just thought I saw Motime dive up." "I suppose it was you." "You thought you saw someone dive up?" "Yes." "Ween't you just outside?" "Isn't that you ca?" "You saw someone at the ca?" "Yes." "What else did you see?" "Just that, that's all!" "I see." "Is that why you came ove hee?" "No, I came to see Motime." "But if he's not home, I'll un" "You've given two names." "You'e huting me!" "I think she's dangeous." "No visitos." "It's going to be a pivate funeal." "Tell these men who I am!" "That's my daughte, Alice." "No!" "Don't be a tomboy." "Don't play ough with the gentlemen." "Chage!" "Docto, the cella." "Let go of me!" "Let go of me!" "What's the matte?" "What's happening down thee?" "What's the matte?" "What ae you doing thee?" "We caught a bugla, a sneak thief." "Go back to you oom." "We'll call the police." "I'll handle this." "Go back to you oom." "Do you hea me?" "Don't answe that." "Don't answe that!" "Whee's Teddy?" "Is he upstais?" "Neve mind that now, daling." "What ae you doing with you best clothes on?" "Holy...." "What's that?" "What's that thing that looks like a ciga-stoe dummy?" "It's you bothe and D. Einstein." "Didn't I tell you not to let anybody in?" "Who did you say it was?" "It's you bothe, Jonathan!" "I've come back home, Motime." "What?" "I've come back home, Motime." ""I've come back home, Motime." Listen, it talks!" "Yes, I talk." "Motime, have you fogotten the things I used to do to you when you wee tied to the bedpost?" "The needles unde you fingenails." "Motime, he" "Wait a minute." "Holy mackeel!" "It is Jonathan!" "I'm glad you emembe, Motime." "Yeah, I emembe." "How could I foget you?" "Whee'd you get that face?" "Hollywood?" "Don't you two boys stat quaeling the minute you've seen each othe." "We invited Jonathan and D. Einstein to stay." "What?" "Just fo tonight." "No, I'm staying hee tonight." "In fact, I'm staying hee fom now on." "What about me?" "Thee's no oom fo anybody else hee." "Please, just a moment." "So take that little squit and beat it!" "Whee's Teddy?" "I've got to see him ight away." "We don't take up much oom." "Johnny can sleep on the sofa, and I'll sleep on the windowseat." "Nothing to...." "Windowseat?" "Cetainly not on the windowseat." "I'm going to sleep on the windowseat." "I'll sleep on the windowseat fom now on." "Now look." "Now, be a good fellow." "Hee's $10." "Go out and haunt youself a hotel." "Motime, you know what I do to people who ode me aound." "M. Spenalzo." "What?" "What's going to happen to M. Spenalzo?" "We can't leave him hee in the windowseat." "Docto, I've completely lost tack of M. Spenalzo." "Wait!" "Who's this M. Spenalzo?" "A fiend of ous Johnny was looking fo." "Don't bing anyone else in hee." "Now, beat it!" "It's all ight, Johnny." "While we ae packing, I'll tell you about him." "I'll take cae of you, Motime, in just a little while." "How do you like that?" "The guy stays away fo 20 yeas and picks tonight to come back." "Elaine, what ae you doing hee?" "Motime!" "What's the matte, daling?" "I almost got killed." "Killed?" "Aunt Abby, Aunt Matha!" "No!" "It was Jonathan!" "He mistook he fo a sneak thief." "Oh, that." "It was wose than that." "He's some kind of a maniac." "I'm afaid of him." "Daling, don't woy about it." "I'm hee now." "Foget it." "We wee maied today, we wee going ove Niagaa Falls you bothe ties to stangle me, a taxi's waiting and now you want to sleep on a windowseat!" "Windowseat." "Withespoon." "You'd bette un along home." "What?" "Go on home like a good gil." "I got things to do." "But" "Please." "Opeato?" "Get me Happy Dale 2-7-0, please." "But didn't you hea what I was just saying?" "You own bothe Jonathan, he was tying to stangle me!" "Please!" "This is impotant!" "That?" "M. Withespoon?" "This is Motime Bewste." "Yes, M. Bewste." "Well, I don't undestand you." "He was going to kill me!" "Wait, I can't hea the man." "Well, look." "I've got the papes all dawn up." "I know it's late, but come down hee and get my bothe immediately!" "Please, daling." "By the way, you've had the papes signed by you bothe and the docto, of couse?" "By the docto?" "Oh, holy mackeel!" "I fogot the docto!" "Please, be quiet!" "Can't you see I've got to get a docto?" "What kind of a docto?" "A family docto?" "You can take you honeymoon, wedding ing, taxi, windowseat put them in a bael, and push them all ove Niagaa Falls!" "Thank you, daling." "Thank you." "Why don't you come down hee anyway?" "While you'e getting hee, I'll get Teddy's and the docto's signatues." "I'll get both signatues." "Yeah, well, come ight away." "What's the matte with he?" "Let me sit down." "Let me think about this thing." "Docto, Teddy, signatue...." "Hoskins!" "Ye gods!" "Thee's anothe one!" "Aunt Abby!" "Aunt Matha!" "Come in hee!" "We'e busy." "No, you come in hee now!" "Yes, dea, what is it?" "Whee's Elaine?" "Didn't you pomise not to let anyone in?" "Jonathan just walked in." "I don't mean Jonathan!" "I don't mean D. Einstein!" "Who is that in the windowseat?" "We told you." "M. Hoskins." "It is not M. Hoskins!" "Thee!" "Who can that be?" "Ae you saying you've neve seen him?" "I cetainly am." "This is a fine how-do-you-do!" "It's getting so anyone thinks he can walk in!" "Don't you ty to get out of this!" "That's anothe one of you gentlemen!" "How can you say such a thing?" "That man's an imposto." "And if he came hee to be buied in ou cella, he's mistaken." "You admitted you put M. Hoskins in the windowseat." "Yes, I did." "This man couldn't have got the idea fom M. Hoskins!" "By the way, whee is M. Hoskins?" "He must have gone to Panama." "What?" "You buied him?" "Not yet." "He's down thee waiting fo the sevices, poo dea." "We haven't had a minute, what with Jonathan in the house." "Oh, dea." "We've always wanted to hold a double funeal." "But I will not ead sevices ove a total stange!" "A total stange." "How can I believe you?" "Thee ae 12 men down thee, you admit you poisoned them!" "Yes, I did." "But you don't think I'd stoop to telling a fib!" "What do you think has happened?" ""A fib! "" "This may inteest you, Motime." "I've decided that we'e staying." "And I've also decided that you'e leaving, and I mean now." "Listen, handsome." "I'm in no mood to debate the question." "Ae you getting out, o am I thowing you out on you ea?" "I've led a stange life." "Matha, you come staight along hee." "You just look and see what's in that windowseat." "No." "Don't...." "Let Aunt Matha see what's in the windowseat." "Aunt Abby, daling, I owe you an apology." "I've got some vey good news fo you." "Jonathan is leaving." "And he's taking D. Einstein and that cold companion with him." "Listen." "You'e my bothe, you'e a Bewste." "I'll give you a chance to get away and take the evidence with you." "You can't ask fo moe than that." "Well?" "All ight, in that case, I'll have to call the police." "Don't each fo the telephone." "Remembe, what happened to M. Spenalzo can happen to you, too." "Spenalzo?" "I knew he was a foeigne." "Put down that telephone." "Office O'Haa!" "I saw the lights and thought you might have sickness...." "You got company?" "Soy I distubed you." "No!" "Come in." "Yes, do come in." "Come ight in, Office." "This is ou nephew, Motime." "Pleased to meet you." "Glad to see you." "And this is anothe nephew, Jonathan." "Pleased to make you acquaintance." "You face is familia." "Haven't I seen a pictue of you?" "I don't think so." "I'll be unning along." "Why?" "Stay until my bothe leaves." "I got to ing in, M." "Ae you "the" Motime Bewste, the wite and damatic citic?" "Yes, why?" "What a beak fo me!" "I'm a playwight." "I'm woking on a play now." "You ae?" "Well, well, well!" "Maybe I can help you with it." "Would you?" "What a beak!" "I get wondeful ideas, but I can't spell them." "I can spell like the dickens." "Constantinople?" "Let's go into the kitchen." "You can tell me all about it." "Couldn't you whip up a sandwich?" "I hope you don't mind eating in the kitchen, Office O'Haa." "And whee else would you eat?" "See you in a moment." "This is you last chance." "I'll keep O'Haa busy to give you a chance to get out." "All thee of you:" "you, D. Einstein and Spenalzo." "If you don't leave hee, I'll intoduce Office O'Haa to M. Spenalzo." "My play takes place in" "I'll be ight with you, O'Haa." "Right with you." "Just give me one moment." "Now get going!" "All thee of you." "This affai between my bothe and myself has got to be settled." "But we've got touble enough as it is." "Come, let's go." "We'e not going." "We'e sleeping ight hee in this house." "What?" "With a cop in the kitchen and Spenalzo in the windowseat?" "That's all he's got on us." "We'll take Spenalzo and dump him in the bay." "Afte that, we'e coming back hee." "Then if he ties to intefee" "No, no, Johnny." "No, please." "We've got a wondeful setup hee." "We can make a fotune." "Two old ladies as a font." "Only Motime stands in ou way." "I neve did like Motime." "Please, take it easy." "Please!" "Docto, you know when I make up my mind" "When you make up you mind, you lose you head." "Look, Booklyn ain't a good setup fo you." "Okay, Johnny." "Okay!" "Take the instuments and hide them in the cella." "Move fast." "You don't know what goes on in Booklyn." "I don't know." "My mothe was an actess." "Legitimate?" "Of couse." "She was my mothe." "Excuse me." "Peaches La Tou was he name." "Come quick!" "What's the matte?" "You know that hole in the cella?" "Yes." "Well, we got an ace in the hole." "It's no fly-by-night idea." "I woked on it fo 12 yeas." "Well, ehash it." "I'll be back in a minute." "Swell." "I like the fist act." "I didn't tell you the fist" "I thought I told you...." "Yes, Motime." "What ae you doing still hee?" "I thought I said beat it." "We'e not going." "You'e not going?" "No." "You stay out of this." "All ight, you asked fo it." "Office O'Haa?" "Coming." "If you tell O'Haa what's in the windowseat I'll tell him what's in the cella." "Cella?" "Thee's an eldely gentleman down thee who seems to be vey dead." "What wee you doing thee?" "What's he doing thee?" "Now what ae you going to tell O'Haa?" "You aunts want to hea the est." "Shall I bing them in hee?" "You can't do that now." "You'd bette ing in." "The heck with inging in!" "I want to tell you the plot." "You can't tell me in font of those two fellas." "Lowbows, huh?" "Let's go whee we can be alone." "I'll meet you thee late." "How about the backoom at Kelly's?" "Fine place." "Bohemian atmosphee." "Genius at wok." "You ing in and I'll meet you at Kelly's." "Why don't you both go down in the cella?" "That's all ight with me." "Thee's a much moe liteay atmosphee in Kelly's, I assue you." "This opening will kill you." "I'm waiting to be bon and the docto" "The docto!" "Look, you ing in and I'll see you late." "You won't stand me up, will you?" "This is a geat play." "I'll see you down thee." "Can't wait!" "Docto, docto." "Whee ae those papes?" "Thee they ae." "You'e smug, aen't you?" "You think you've got it ove me." "You haven't." "You think I'm afaid to tell about Spenalzo because of Hoskins." "Well, I'm not!" "The moment I get Spenalzo...." "The moment the docto signs, I don't cae who knows about Hoskins." "And you bette feel the same way about Spenalzo." "Yes, Spenalzo!" "Whee ae you going?" "To the docto's." "Whee do you...." "When I come back, I expect to find you gone." "Wait fo me!" "We'll wait fo him." "Did he look guilty!" "Well, Matha, I think we can stat the sevices now." "We thought we head you leave." "Peish the thought, dea aunties." "That was just Motime." "And speaking of sevices will you make us some coffee while we take Spenalzo down to the cella?" "No, Jonathan." "You've got to take him with you!" "Thee's a fiend of Motime's downstais waiting fo him." "A fiend of Motime's?" "Take his feet, Docto." "M. Spenalzo and he will get along fine togethe." "They'e both dead." "He must mean M. Hoskins." "M. Hoskins?" "You know about what's down thee?" "Of couse we do." "And he's no fiend of Motime's." "He's one of ou gentlemen." "You gentlemen?" "Yes." "And we won't have any stanges buied in ou cella." "But M. Hoskins" "M." "Hoskins is no stange." "Besides, thee's no oom fo M. Spenalzo." "The cella's cowded aleady." "Cowded?" "With what?" "Thee ae 12 gaves down thee now." "Twelve gaves." "That leaves vey little oom and we'e going to need it." "You mean, you and Aunt Matha have mudeed 12" "Mudeed?" "Cetainly not." "It's one of ou chaities." "Why, what we've been doing is a mecy." "So you just take you M. Spenalzo out of hee." "You've done all that ight hee in this house and buied them in the cella?" "That's wondeful, Johnny!" "We've been chased all ove the wold and they stay ight hee in Booklyn, and they do just as good as you do." "What?" "You got 12, they got 12." "I've got 13." "No, Johnny, 12." "Don't bag." "Thiteen." "Thee's M. Spenalzo." "Then the fist one in London." "Two in Johannesbug, one in Sydney, one in Melboune two in San Fancisco, one in Phoenix, Aizona." "Phoenix?" "The filling station." "Filling...." "Thee in Chicago and one in South Bend." "That makes 13." "You cannot count the one in South Bend." "He died of pneumonia." "He wouldn't have died of pneumonia if I hadn't shot him." "You cannot count him." "You got 12, they got 12." "The old ladies is just as good as you ae." "They ae, ae they?" "Well, that's easily taken cae of." "All I need is one moe." "That's all." "Just one moe." "And I've a petty good idea who it is." "I'm a lucky man to have caught you at home, D. Gilchist." "This is most iegula." "I'm soy to have dagged you out of bed, but only you can help me." "I know Teddy blows bugles, but I can't commit a man just on that." "If you'd talk with him I'm sue you'd be convinced." "Hee's the house I" "Thee goes Hoskins." "Who?" "What?" "Did I say...." "You bette wait." "Hee?" "I'll bing Teddy out." "I wouldn't want to alam the old ladies, seeing a docto." "You wait hee." "In the cemetey?" "It's Halloween." "The pixies won't be out till afte midnight." "Make youself comfotable." "Pull up a tombstone." "I'll be ight back." "Hey, $22.50!" "What?" "$22.50!" "Oh, yes, looks good on you!" "Not the suit, the mete!" ""Looks good on me." $22.50." "Did you give him a 21-gun salute?" "Yes, with a Maxim silence." "Five moe bucks and you'll own it." "No, thanks." "It wouldn't fit me." "M." "Pesident, may I pesent" "D." "Livingstone!" "Livingstone?" "That's what he pesumes." "The docto would like to have a few wods with you." "Cetainly." "Welcome to Washington." "Alington is beautiful at this time of yea, is it not?" "Yes, indeed." "Well now, that's that." "It gives me a chance to est." "So fa, so good." "Not so good." "Do you o do you not love me?" "How can you say such a thing?" "Daling, of couse I love you." "Do you?" "Yes, daling." "Then why have you been teating me the way you have?" "Daling, I love you so much, I can't go though with ou maiage." "Have you suddenly gone cazy?" "I don't think so, but it's only a matte of time." "Daling, would you want to have childen with thee heads?" "You wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell." "What ae you talking about?" "Well, I don't quite know." "I pobably should have told you this befoe, but you see well, insanity uns in my family." "It pactically gallops." "Just because Teddy's stange, that doesn't mean" "No, daling." "It's way back befoe Teddy." "This goes back to the fist Bewste who came ove on the Mayflowe." "You know how in those days the Indians used to scalp the settles?" "He used to scalp the Indians." "Daling, that's ancient histoy." "Docto, I'll un fo a thid tem, but I won't be elected." "That'll mean the last of the Roosevelts in the White House." "That's what you think." "Of couse, if the county insists...." "Daling, all this doesn't pove a thing." "Look at you aunts." "They'e Bewstes, aen't they?" "They'e the sweetest, sanest people I've eve known." "Well, even they have thei peculiaities." "What of it?" "So you family's cazy." "So you'e cazy." "That's the way I love you." "I'm cazy too, but kiss me." "No, no." "I...." "Goodbye, Ambassado." "I've enjoyed this little talk vey much." "Anytime you'e in Washington, dop in to see me at the White House." "Those papes." "Go away." "Papes!" "I'll commit him to any place." "You will?" "I've just been appointed Ambassado to Bolivia!" "You see?" "Didn't I tell you?" "Don't woy about that." "Just go on signing the papes." "Thank you." "All ight!" "We'll find out whose house this is!" "I'm waning you, you bette stop it." "Thee's no use doing what you'e doing." "It'll just have to be undone." "Aunt Abby, go to bed!" "It's a teible thing to do to buy a good Methodist with a foeigne." "Whee have you been?" "Getting some papes signed." "Is Teddy in his oom?" "What is the matte with you?" "Running aound getting papes signed at a time like this." "Matha and I ae going fo the police." "Police!" "Wait!" "You can't go fo the police." "Oh, no?" "You know what Jonathan's doing?" "He's putting M. Hoskins and M. Spenalzo in togethe." "All ight, let him." "This is all fixed up nice now." "Nice and smooth like a lake." "The Pesident will be vey poud of his Panama Canal." "Bed feels good aleady." "You know, we didn't get any sleep fo 48 hous." "You'e fogetting, Docto." "If Jonathan and M. Spenalzo aen't out this house befoe moning we'e going fo the police." "I'll get them out, I pomise!" "Then you get the wedding silve." "Remembe, no police!" "No police!" "Look, go to bed, will you?" "Get out of those clothes!" "You look like a double blackout." "My bothe, Motime." "I just head him upstais." "No!" "I am tied." "You foget, I got to opeate on you face tomoow." "You ae going to opeate tomoow, Docto." "But tonight we ae taking cae of Motime." "But Johnny, not tonight!" "I'm sleepy." "We'll do it tomoow." "O the next day." "Look at me, Docto." "You can see that it's got to be done, can't you?" "Yeah, I know that look." "It's a little late to dissolve ou patneship." "Okay, Johnny." "Okay, we'll do it." "But the quick way, huh?" "The quick twist like in London." "No, Docto." "I think this calls fo something special." "I think, pehaps, the Melboune method." "Not the Melboune method, please!" "Two hous!" "And then when it was all ove, what?" "The fellow in London was just as dead as the fellow in Melboune." "Don't do that, M. Pesident." "But I cannot sign anything without consulting my Cabinet." "This must be secet." "A secet poclamation?" "How unusual." "Yes, it's the only way we can outsmat the othe fellow." "Who's the othe fellow?" "That's the secet." "Oh, I see!" "Vey cleve." "A secet poclamation has to be signed in secet." "Of couse, M. Pesident." "I'll put on my signing clothes." "You aleady have them on, M. Pesident." "So I have." "Wait hee." "Hey, M. Bewste." "What is it, mice?" "You get out of this house." "Can't you see I'm busy?" "Thank you, M. Pesident." "What a load off my mind." "Boy, could I use a dink!" "Get out of hee, will you, please?" "What?" "Speak up." "I can't hea you." "Johnny's in a bad mood." "Get out!" "Stop undeplaying." "I can't hea you." "Please listen to me." "Get out." "Stop all this!" "What ae you doing?" "Look, Doc" " Ae you eally a docto?" "Yes, Heidelbeg, 1919." "Heidelbeg?" "How'd you hook up with Jonathan?" "I tell you late about that, but you go now." "Please listen to me." "Stop it, Docto!" "You get out of hee!" "Look, when Johnny's in that mood he's a madman." "He's a maniac!" "And then things happen." "Hoible things." "Get out of hee!" "Will you stop it?" "Stop telling me about Jonathan, I'll take cae of him." "You take cae of youself." "Get going, little fellow." "What's that?" "Wait." "My schnapps." "I could use that." "That's mine." "Please." "Only fo damatic citics." "You beat it befoe things stat popping aound hee." "But, look, M. Bewste, please." "You've just been maied." "You have a nice little wife waiting fo you." "Please go now." "Please." "Don't those plays you see all the time teach you anything?" "Don't get me on the subject of plays!" "I've got to wait fo M. Withespoon." "At least people in plays act like they got sense." "Did anybody in a play eve act like they got intelligence?" "How can somebody be so stupid?" "You ought to have my job." "When you get out of pison, have youself wheeled to the Gaick Theate." "Thee's a play that's so bad, it'll still be unning when you get out." "Thee's a man...." "Now listen to this." "He knows he's in the house with mudees and should know he's in dange." "He's even been waned to get out." "And does he go?" "No, he doesn't." "He stays!" "This fellow doesn't even have sense to be scaed o to be on his guad." "The mudee even invites him to sit down." "What do you think he does?" "I don't know." "He sits down!" "He delibeately pulls up a chai and he sits down in it." "Isn't that geat?" "So thee he is, all waiting to be tussed up and gagged." "What do you think they tied him up with?" "The cutain cod." "Cutain cod?" "But didn't he see him get it?" "No." "The silly chump sits down with his back towad the mudee." "All he has to do is look aound, but does he?" "No!" "See, bothe Heidelbeg, in a play o even in a movie a fellow neve sees o heas anything." "That's ight." "But what does he do?" "The big chump sits thee." "This fellow's supposed to be bight." "Now get a load of this." "Look at the attitude." "Lage as life!" "He sits thee waiting to be tied up and gagged." "The big dope!" "You wee ight about that fellow." "He wasn't vey bight." "Yes, Motime." "I've been away fo 20 yeas." "But neve, my dea bothe, wee you out of my mind." "In Melboune one night, I deamt of you." "The moe you stuggle the moe you stangle youself." "Late on, you may conside that a blessing." "Now, Docto we go to wok." "Johnny, fo me, the quick way." "Please." "This must be an atistic achievement." "Please." "Afte all, we'e pefoming befoe a vey distinguished citic." "Please!" "All ight." "Let's get it ove with." "But I cannot see this without the dink." "Pull youself togethe." "But I can't pull myself togethe without a dink." "You emembe when we came in, thee was some wine." "And then they took it." "Whee did they put it?" "I found some wine." "Hee, I'll split it with you." "We both have a dink befoe we opeate." "I am so happy that we don't have to opeate without a dink." "One moment, please." "Whee ae you mannes?" "Yes, Motime." "I ealize now that it was you who bought me back to Booklyn." "We dink to you." "To my dea, dead bothe." "That idiot!" "He goes next." "That's all." "He goes next!" "Not Teddy!" "Please!" "We'll get to him late." "You won't at all!" "We have to wok fast." "The quick way." "The quick way, yes!" "If it has to be, then the quick way." "I'll help you." "The colonel has to quit blowing that hon." "It's all ight." "We'e taking the bugle away fom him." "I'd bette talk to him myself." "Whee's the lights?" "You stood me up!" "I've been waiting fo you fo ove an hou at Kelly's." "What happened to him?" "Nothing." "He was explaining a play he saw and that's what happened to a man in the play." "I see." "Did that eally happen in a play you saw?" "How do you like that?" "You can't tust nobody." "They pactically stole that fom my play." "In the second act, just-- Maybe I'd bette stat at the beginning." "Yeah, sue." "You've got to hea the plot!" "My mothe's making up." "Like a flash, out of a clea sky the doo opens and a man with a mustache comes in." "He says, "Miss Peaches La Tou, will you may me?"" "That's the fist scene." "My mothe doesn't say they'e maied." "That's the supise!" "What a kick!" "Twenty-five yeas pass." "Well, in the meantime, thee's me." "Gowing into a magnificent specimen." "So what do I do?" "I join the police foce and become one of New Yok's finest." "I'm cleaning out a cooked laundy, see?" "Little do I know it but a dope fiend with a knife is afte me." "I'm in geat dange." "It's getting you, ain't it?" "I can see it in you eyes." "You ain't head nothing yet." "All of a sudden, a fie beaks out." "What an effect!" "Fiemen ush in and who's leading them?" "Mayo Fioello La Guadia!" "What's the matte with him?" "Pobably you play put him to sleep." "What?" "I pesonally like it vey much." "It's pobably ove his head." "Whee have I seen that face befoe?" "No, please." "The scene changes." "It's an evolving stage." "I'm walking along my beat, casual-like when a guy that I'm following, it tuns out he's following me!" "Don't let nobody in." "I figues I'll outsmat him." "Thee's a vacant house on the cone." "Johnny, the cops!" "I sees the doo handle tun, so I pulls out my gun baces myself against the wall and I says:" ""Come in! "" "Hello, boys." "What the Sam Hill's going on?" "Sage, this is Motime Bewste." "He's going to help me wite my play." "Do you have to tie him up?" "Repot in." "Why didn't you ing in?" "The whole foce is out looking fo you." "Right in the middle of the second act." "Did they send you hee?" "No, we came to wan the old ladies." "The colonel blew that bugle again." "I head him." "The neighbos ae phoning in." "The Lieutenant's on the wapath." "He says we've got to put him away someplace." "Now, who the heck is this?" "M. Bewste's bothe." "My play put him to sleep." "That's the one that an away." "So he came back." "Bophy." "Get me Mac." "Have you got youself in a mess!" "You'e two hous ovedue at the station." "I bette let them know that I found you." "It wasn't that bad, was it?" "Tell the Lieutenant he can call off the big manhunt." "We found him." "At the Bewste house." "Shall we bing him in?" "All ight, we'll hold him ight hee." "The Lieutenant is on his way ove." "So I've been tuned in?" "All ight, you've got me." "I suppose you and my stool-pigeon bothe will split the ewad." "Yes, ewad!" "Now I'll do some tuning in!" "Wait a minute, M. Bewste." "You think my aunts ae sweet, chaming old ladies, don't you?" "Well, thee's 13 bodies buied in the cella!" "Yes, 13." "Be caeful what you say." "You aunts ae fiends of ous." "I'll show them to you." "Don't make touble fo them!" "Neve mind, M. Bewste." "Leave him to me." "Come down to the cella." "Wait a minute." "Thiteen bodies." "I'll show you whee they'e buied." "Go to the cella with him." "Yes, come to the cella." "Well, look, do I have to?" "Maybe I don't want to go down to the cella." "Go on down the cella with him!" "Now, please." "I'll tell you the est of my play late." "Go on down the cella with him." "Do I have to?" "Look at that puss." "He looks like Bois Kaloff." "Don't!" "Sage!" "Look out, Pat!" "Look out!" "He's got a gun." "I got him, Pat." "Look out!" "Fight." "Go on and fight." "That's enough, that's enough." "Eveybody off." "Pat, look out!" "Amazing." "Such a fine day, too." "All I did was coss the bidge and I was in Booklyn." "Amazing." "Don't bothe me now." "You could use this in the thid act." "I got something bette." "Let me tell you" "I'll see you late." "The papes ae all signed." "What do I cae?" "Go ahead, fight." "I'd bette call and see if Withespoon has left." "Telephone." "I'll get evey one of you!" "I hate cops." "I'll bain the fist one that comes nea me!" "A little highe, bothe." "Thank you vey much." "That's fine." "Don't do that, please." "Get him, Pat." "That won't have any effect." "I've tied it befoe" "It did." "Isn't that amazing?" "Oh, dea." "Wish I could elax like that." "Withespoon." "Come in." "What has occued?" "Neve mind!" "Didn't I tell you I'd handle this?" "Well, Lieutenant!" "We wee just acting in self-defense." "What happened?" "He put up a fight?" "This isn't the one who blows the bugle." "This is his bothe who tied to kill O'Haa." "All I said was he looked like Bois Kaloff." "Bois...." "Tun him ove." "Kind of think he's wanted somewhee." "You "kind of think he's wanted somewhee"?" "If you guys can't look at the ciculas we put up you can at least ead shot detective stoies." "Cetainly, he's wanted." "In Indiana!" "He escaped fom the pison fo ciminally insane." "He's a life." "That's my bothe." "That's the way they descibed him." ""He looked like Kaloff."" "Why'd you knock him out?" "He tied to get us to go to the cella." "He says 13 bodies ae thee." "Thiteen bodies in the cella and that don't tip you off the guy's fom a nuthouse?" "Thanks, pal." "About my not inging in, I want to" "Whee have you been all night?" "Don't tell me." "I was ight hee witing a play with Motime Bewste." "You'e going to have a long time on that play." "You'e suspended." "Now go on." "Repot in." "Bing him to and find out whee his accomplice is." "The guy who helped him escape." "He's wanted, too." "Hee." "I've been afte these guys fo 48 hous." "Nothing to eat." "No sleep." "No wonde Booklyn's in the shape it's in." "With flatheads like you on the foce." "Falling fo a stoy like that!" "Thiteen bodies buied in the cella." "But thee ae 13 bodies in the cella!" "Who ae you?" "I'm Pesident Roosevelt." "What the blazes is this?" "He's the one that blows the bugle." "Howdy, Colonel." "Colonel, you've blown you last bugle." "Get this guy out of hee." "Dea me!" "Anothe yellow-feve victim?" "All the bodies in the cella ae yellow-feve victims." "No, Colonel." "This is a spy." "We caught him at the White House." "Take him out and bing him to." "I want to question him." "Questioning of spies is my depatment." "Hey, you, keep out of that." "You'e fogetting that as Pesident I am also head of the Secet Sevice." "Who ae you?" "What's you name?" "Usually, I'm Motime Bewste." "But I'm not myself today." "You'e his bothe." "Look, no agument." "He's got to be put away." "No aguments, Captain." "No aguments." "Just a minute, take it easy." "Read this." "Teddy's going to go to Happy Dale tonight." "I'm waiting fo M. Withespoon." "As long as he's going someplace." "He's scaing the neighbos with that bugle." "And that cockeyed stoy about 13 bodies being" "I've been without sleep fo 48 hous." "I'm liable to think anything." "I know just how you feel." "Thee's people dumb enough to believe that." "Last yea thee was a cazy guy, stated a mude umo." "I had to dig up a half ace plot befoe I could pove" "What's this?" "What's the matte?" "These papes aen't any good." "Why not?" "He signed it Theodoe Roosevelt!" "Is you taxi engaged?" "Losing dough evey minute." "Any offes?" "I'm M. Withespoon of Happy Dale Sanitaium, I have come to get a Bewste." "I would like you to dive us back to the sanitaium." "I knew this would end up in a nuthouse!" "We like to think of it as a est home." "M. Bewste?" "M. Withespoon is hee." "Supposing the spy steals this document and finds the name Roosevelt on it." "Think what that would mean to the safety of the nation!" "No, it's chicaney." "What is this?" "Come on!" "He's come to." "He's eady to talk." "Hold him till I get thee." "Let me explain." "The name Bewste is code fo Roosevelt." "Code fo Roosevelt?" "Take the name Bewste." "Take away the "B" and what have you got?" "Rooste." "And what does a ooste do?" "Cows." "It cows!" "Whee do you hunt in Afica?" "On the veldt!" "Thee you ae! "Cowsveldt."" "lngenious!" "My compliments to the boys in the code depatment." "That's all ight!" "Do that again fo me." "Neve mind!" "Give me that pen." "This is fun." "Now, all I got to get is Withespoon." "I'm so glad to see you." "You will take good cae of Teddy?" "Best of cae of him." "That's fine." "And no wagon when he leaves." "Why?" "To take him away?" "Neve, neve." "Taxicabs." "We always...." "I have one waiting now." "It means a geat deal to me." "You will pesonally see that Teddy's happy at Happy Dale?" "He'll be vey happy at Happy Dale." "That's good." "You know, I sometimes envy some of ou patients, secetly." "You do?" "It must be a nice place." "I've neve been thee." "You neve can tell." "This is a paticulaly happy moment fo me tonight." "I've neve met a damatic citic befoe." "The woods ae full of them." "I have hee something that will explain what we'e tying to do." "A pamphlet about Happy Dale?" "No, it's a play." "Something I've been woking on." "It's a damatization of many incidents that have happened at Happy Dale." "Captain!" "Captain!" "I want you to ead this caefully." "I want you to be just as hash as you like." "I shan't mind, you know" "Captain, this is M. Withespoon." "He'll be vey happy at Happy Dale." "Come, my boy." "What is this?" "No, you got it wong." "This is Captain Rooney." "The police?" "I'm sue!" "Hee ae the papes, all signed." "Now you can take him away." "I'll be in my office vetoing some bills." "M. Pesident, I have good news fo you." "You tem of office is ove." "Is this Mach 4?" "Pactically." "Let's see...." "Now I go on my hunting tip to Afica!" "Well, I must get stated immediately." "Is he tying to move into the White House befoe I've moved out?" "Who, M. Pesident?" "Taft!" "No, this isn't M. Taft." "It's M. Withespoon, you guide to Afica." "Bully!" "Bully!" "Wait ight hee." "I'll bing down my equipment." "Happy man." "Goodbye, Aunt Abby, Aunt Matha." "I'm on my way to Afica." "Isn't it wondeful?" "Chage!" "It's all ight, I've got it." "Oh, dea." "And Happy Dale is full of staicases." "You've come to meet Teddy, haven't you?" "No, he's come to take him." "Teddy's been blowing his bugle again." "No, he can't go now!" "We won't pemit it." "We pomise to take his bugle away fom him." "We won't be sepaated fom Teddy." "I'm soy." "How can you allow this?" "You pomised." "Bewste's got nothing to do with this." "The law is the law!" "Teddy's committed himself and he's got to go." "If he's going, we'e going, too!" "Yes, you'll have to take us with him." "Why not?" "Why not, indeed?" "It's sweet of them, but impossible." "We neve take sane people at Happy Dale." "These little sane people will get lost in the shuffle." "You could aange that." "Just put them in and they'll get all mixed up." "Too dangeous." "Dissension, jealousy." "Now, let's be sensible, ladies." "Hee I am wasting my time when I could be doing some seious wok." "Thee ae still mudes to be solved in Booklyn." "It ain't only his bugle blowing." "Things ae going to get wose." "We'e liable to have to dig up you cella." "Ou cella?" "Teddy's been telling aound thee's 13 bodies buied in the cella." "Thee ae 13 bodies in ou cella." "What?" "Yes." "You just ask ou nephew, Motime." "Chage!" "Isn't that amazing?" "You behave youself." "You know vey well thee ae 13 bodies down in ou cella." "Cetainly thee's 13 bodies in the cella." "And thee ae hundeds moe up in the attic, Captain!" "What is this?" "You mustn't mind Motime." "How about it?" "I'll be ight thee." "He's been a little stange all day." "Right now I wouldn't know what is and what ain't stange anymoe." "I'll look in that cella." "I'll tell you what we'll do." "I'll bing my bodies fom the attic and you get yous fom the cella and we'll get them all togethe, and we'll send them to Happy Dale." "No, you wouldn't have to dig." "The gaves ae all maked." "We put flowes on them evey Sunday." "Flowes?" "Sue, I put neon lights on mine." "Humo them, humo them." "Smile." "Thee's one down thee, a M. Spenalzo..." "Hasn't got it yet." "...who doesn't belong hee and has to leave." "But the othe 12 ae ou gentlemen." "You gentlemen?" "You'd like mine bette." "None of mine ae gentlemen." "You mustn't mind him at all." "He got maied today." ""Thee is a Happy Dale fa, fa away" ""Thee is a Happy"" "He got it." "It's amazing." "Don't you think you can find oom fo the ladies?" "Just the ladies?" "Just the ladies!" "How about it?" "They'd have to be committed." "Teddy committed himself." "Couldn't they?" "All they have to do is sign the papes." "Cetainly." "If we can go with Teddy, we'll sign the papes." "Whee ae they?" "I have them, ladies, ight hee." "Sign them up, will you?" "I want this all cleaned up." "I'm going out to talk to that spy." "Maybe I can undestand him." "Thiteen bodies in the cella." "Ladies, if you'll sign ight hee." "Hee?" "Yes, please." "It's on the ight-hand side thee." "I'm eally looking fowad to going." "The neighbohood hee has changed so." "Yes." "Especially since they won that old pennant thing." "Oh, dea, I'm so soy." "We've ovelooked something." "It's absolutely compulsoy that we have the signatue of a physician." "A docto." "D. Einstein!" "Come hee and sign some papes, please." "Good night." "Come hee, D. Einstein." "A docto?" "Yes." "D. Einstein almost opeated on me ealie." "Come along, Docto." "Now, hee." "Just sign ight hee, please, Docto." "Wee you leaving, Docto?" "Yes, please." "Aen't you going to wait fo Jonathan?" "I don't think we go to the same place." "Hello, Mac." "We picked up that guy that's wanted in Indiana." "His accomplice's desciption is on the cicula, on the desk." "Read it to me, will you?" "About 40." "Five-foot-thee." "One hunded and foty pounds." "Pop eyes." "Talks with a Geman accent." "Poses as a docto." "Okay, Mac." "Thanks." "It's all ight." "The docto has completed the signatues." "That's geat!" "Thanks, Doc." "You've done Booklyn a geat sevice." "But D. Einstein!" "Now, M. Withespoon" "You'e Withespoon, I'm Bewste." "It's contagious, yes." "It's you tun." "Don't play games" "You sign." "You sign as next of kin." "Why didn't you say so?" "I'm all confused." "Don't mind me." "M. Withepot." "Spoon." "Hee." "Come up and pack my duffel." "Duffel?" "Pack his duffel." "He's Pesident, you know?" "And bing along my bugle." "Pesident." "Don't chage!" "We'e eally vey woied about something." "Now, daling, don't be woied." "Me too, Motime." "Well, of couse, daling." "You'll both be vey happy at Happy Dale." "We'e vey happy about the whole thing, but that's just it." "We don't want anything to go wong." "Will they investigate those signatues?" "They won't look up D. Einstein" "But it's not his signatue, dea." "It's yous." "Mine?" "You see, you signed as next of kin." "What's wong about that, daling?" "Matha, you tell him." "Well, dea." "What, dea?" "You'e not eally a Bewste." "What?" "You mothe came to us as a cook." "And you wee bon about thee months aftewads." "And she was such a sweet woman and such a good cook we didn't want to lose he." "So bothe maied he." "You eal fathe was a cook, too." "He was a chef on a tamp steame." "You mean I'm not eally a Bewste?" "Daling!" "Don't feel so badly about it." "I'm sue it won't make any diffeence to Elaine." "Whee ae you?" "Can you hea me?" "I'm not eally a Bewste!" "I'm the son of a sea cook!" "It's tue!" "I saw them." "It's tue." "It's tue!" "Thee ae 13 bodies down thee!" "But I saw them" "What's all this sceaming about?" "But I saw them" "It's way past he bedtime." "Quiet!" "But, Motime" "Goodbye!" "'Bye." "Goodbye, daling!" "What is all this?" "They'e going on thei honeymoon." "They'e off to a flying stat." "I eally did see" "You'll own two cabs!" "I mean the mete!" "Oh, Motime." "We'e going to Niagaa Falls." "Call me a cab, dea." "Yes, love." "But, M. Bewste!" "I'm not a Bewste." "I'm a son of a sea cook." "Chage!" "I'm not a cabdive." "I'm a coffeepot!"