"( GLASS SMASHES ) ( ALARM BLARES )" " Wazza." " Hey, mate." "Hey, boys." "Yeah, g'day." "I'm Wazza." "In case you didn't know, I've got a daughter named Sharon." "Everyone calls her Shazza." "And she's going with a bloke called Darren." "Everyone calls him Dazza." "Oi, Dazza, are you gonna put a bet on with Franky?" "He reckons he's got a hot tip, eh?" "!" "Yeah, Franky always puts everything on a superfecta, love." "They never come in." "Piss off, Reg!" "I told him to put $20 on a place - that's smart gambling, love." "only a fuckin' absolute retard would fuckin' put money on a superfecta, a retard like fuckin' Reg!" "WAZZA:" "Now." "Dazza's best mate, Franky, is the bloke who either has really bad luck... (Screams) or really good luck." "Today it was good." "He DID win that superfecta, so, just for a change, he got to BUY a car instead of stealing one." "( RAP MUSIC PLAYS )" "Hey, mate, how'd you like to get 20 bucks?" " Oh." "I'd love it!" " I just had a win." " Oh, great!" " Just keep up." "Come on." " Give it to me!" "Give it to me!" " (Laughs)" "Give it to me!" "You bloody mongrel!" "Oh. that's a nice paint job, Franky!" "I done it all myself, like, custom, like, pimped my own ride, like." "That's yours, man." "Should have done the superfecta, but, bro." " You like it?" " Sexy." "What are you grinning about, cockhead?" "If you had put the right bet on, we woulda had fuckin' three grand!" "WAZZA:" "With his winnings," "Dazza really wanted to get smokes or a beer or maybe a pie, but he decided to make it up to Shazza by getting her something she'd always wanted since she was 1 1 ." "A stripper pole!" "I fuckin' love you, Dazza." "So Dazza and the boys nailed it into the middle of his mum's lounge room." "I'm glad it's not blocking' the bloody TV!" "( ROCK MUSIC PLAYS, ALL WHOOP )" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Darren, you want this, don't ya?" " You're beautiful." "Shaz!" " Have a go." "Look at that!" "Hey?" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Shazza, even Reg has got a stiffy!" "Hey, Dazza, wanna see me go down on it?" "Fuck, yeah!" " Go, baby!" " Oh!" "You right, babe?" "Think I've pulled a muscle in me fuckin' arse." "You're fuckin' soft." "Sharon." "Hey, you reckon I could get on the disability?" "That's a fuckin' great idea, Shazza." "Then we can sit around like this lazy prick Reg all day." "He sits at home." "collects a cheque for it all day, just for looking like a fuckin' monger!" "He doesn't get any of the money, though." " It all comes to me." " (AII laugh)" "FRANKY:" "He gets nothing!" "He gets nothing!" "Woman, get your arse up there." "Shit, yeah!" "Shake it, baby!" "Whoo!" "I can see her fuckin' undies!" "I would love to have." "like, a disability." "But not. like." "one that fucks you up fully." "One where I could still maybe do weights and shit, because look at the work I've been doing, see?" " Yeah, they're fucking awesome." " It's gone like a rock, them guns." "WOMEN:" "Whoo!" "Kylie!" "Mum, why don't you have a go?" " Don't be ridiculous." " Come on, shake your arse for Reg." "SHAZZA:" "Whoo!" "Get in there, Beryl!" "would you like that, Reg?" "SHAZZA:" "Get on the pole, Beryl!" "Alright, if it'II shut you up." "No!" "No!" "WOMEN: (Chant) Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" "Beryl!" " Oh. shit!" " Oh, you fuckin' idiot!" "WAZZA:" "Yeah, unfortunately for Franky, though, he wasn't left with any permanent disability." "At least, not the sort you can get a quid out of Centrelink for." "Aarggh!" "Hey, looks like it's shaping up to be one of those days in bonny Sunnyvale." "Cheers, boys." "Here's to slack moles." "( LAUGHTER )" "(Sings) # AII the people on a pension" " # Make some noise!" " # Yeah!" "♪ We hang down on the block" "♪ This is where we live We don't give a fuck... ♪" "Yeah. bro!" "♪ Cos we don't have a job Some scam and others rob" "♪ We wear thongs, bro" "♪ We do AVOs We wear uggs, bro... ♪" "Where'd me kids go?" "( BABY CRIES )" " # And if you come in after seven..." " # You might end up in heaven." "♪ Why?" "!" "cos we're housos" "♪ Housos!" "Housos!" "♪ Housos!" "Housos!" "Housos!" "Neighbours getting to be good friends?" "Yeah. fuckin' come down to Sunnyvale, mate." "Oh!" "I love this song." "Turn it up!" "Turn it up!" "Look at this old penisaurus on his bloody spastic scooter, mate." "Get off the road, you old prick!" "( BEEPS HORN )" "MAN:" "You're mad, you bastard!" "FRANKY:" "I love it!" " What do you think you're doing?" "!" " He's shitting' his pants!" "( LAUGHTER ) Come on, fuck ya!" "( MAN SCREAMS )" "Fuck this is fun!" "Come on, kids, get out." "Hurry up, man, before the cops get here." "DAZZA:" "Hey, Shaz, you got a smoke for us?" "No, you bludged me last ciggie and me last joint this morning." "Dazza, what do you think you're doing, man?" "I'm tonguing for a durry, right?" "Look at that over there - the disabled spot." "It's the best spot and no dickhead uses it." "Oh, bro, if you wanna park in there, you gotta jump on the disability." "Sweet as. cuz." "Yeah." "Daz." "Have a go at ya fuckin' mum - she's raking' it in cos Reggie's retarded." "Oh, jackpot!" ".." "Oh. it's wet!" "Franky, look." "That's my mum's best friend over there." "Can you go and help her carry those boxes?" " Do I have to?" " Yes, or I won't have sex with you." "Excuse me, do youse want a hand with them boxes?" "Oh. thanks. love." "WAZZA:" "Franky was just trying to be nice." "But what he didn't know was that the local bikie gang..." "Here's your money." "..was using these old biddies to move some gear for them." "The old girls were just trying to make a quid like everybody else." "Good idea, Gronk." "No copper's gonna search two old molls!" "(Laughs hysterically)" "Alright, where we going?" "This way?" "Up there?" "Alright." "This is heavy, man." "I mean, you shouldn't carry this shit." "you'll get a heart attack." "Oi." "Come here." " What?" " Come fucking here." "I'm fuckin' here. mate." "How much closer do you want me to get?" "So. what the fuck's in the boxes?" "Well." "I don't know. mate." "because they're not mine." "It's. like. the old ladies'." "Where the fuck did they go?" "Leave him alone, you stupid pig!" "Shut your mouth, little girl!" "I'm 18.5. fuckwit!" "She's legal, mate, Alright?" "Fuck off, ya dog!" "He didn't do nothing!" "That's right, I didn't do a thing, except help the old bags lift boxes." "Now they've fucked off." "I don't know. mate." "Right." "Let's have a look at the fuckin' box." "Can he do that without a warrant?" "What's gonna be in here?" "Soaps and shit." "What do old bags have?" "Well. let's have a little lookie-lookie." "Waste your time, mate, Mr-big-fuckin'" "CSI." "Absolutely." " Whoa!" " Well. fuck me." "Lookie-lookie-lookie!" "That's not my shit!" "It's the old bags'!" "The old ladies' cocaine, you say?" " It's not mine. mate." " Eh?" "Give some to us. mate!" "Where are they?" "Hey!" "You stupid, stupid prick." "WAZZA:" "Like I said, Franky's luck is either really good or really bad." "Stop!" "Stop!" "No-one listens anymore!" " I didn't fuckin' do nothing!" " Stop!" "(AII clamour)" "Fuckin' stop, you fucker!" "Stop!" "Fuckin' stop!" "(AII cheer)" "Fuckin' shit!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "( AIR HISSES )" "Shit!" "Good boy." "Attention all available units in the Sunnyvale district." "I've just had a suspect leave the scene of a crime." "He's driving a fuckin' shitbox covered in graffiti." "He's heading down towards Ramsay Street right now." "Hey, mate, sucked in!" "He made you look like a fuckin' dickhead!" "Is that right, ya fuckwit?" "!" "Fuck you!" "(Both scream)" "Hey, look, I found the pig's wallet." " Look at all the fuckin' money!" " Sweet!" "Don't say nothing to the boys." "Got it?" "Nothing." "Hey, Nessa, hey, I wanna swing past the hardware, buy the kids a nail gun to play with." " Yeah, you got fuckin' money?" " Nah, I'll pinch it." "Let's go." "KOCKS:" "Fuck!" " Don't move!" " Stop the car!" " Oh. shit!" " Pull over, get out!" "I'm not stopping!" "Stop the car!" "Fuck!" "Ah!" "Stop the car!" "Shit!" " Get off!" " Stop the fuckin' car!" "It was the old bags' drugs, not mine!" "( TYRES SCREECH ) Whoa!" " Fuck!" " Oh!" "Aarggh!" "Ah!" "While you're down there, have a Weet-Bix. dickhead!" "Ya fuckin' idiot!" "Shit!" "still coming!" "Is this guy the Terminator?" "Oh. shit. a dead end!" "Fuck!" "Piss off. mate!" " Ohh!" "Ohh!" " (Grunts)" "Shit!" "Aarggh!" "(Grunts)" "Ah!" "Ohh!" "Fuckin' stop, Falzoni!" " Fuck!" " Oh, look, he's choked on the jump." "Yeah." "I wouldn't do it. mate." "Because you know that expression - pigs cannot fly." "You wait there!" "Why don't you just climb all that way back, get yourself a doughnut and shut up." "( PHONE RINGS )" " FRANKY: (On phone) It's me." " Baby, are you okay?" "I can't talk." "I'm Alright." "Listen. the car - I had to put in the alley." "It's next to the Swift  Shift building, the old courier, that big building - pick it up." " Start it with a screwdriver." " Okay." " Fuck ya, I'm coming!" " Alright, gotta go." "Alright, I love you." "Oh. shit." "Falzoni!" "Fuck you, Terminator!" "(Grunts)" "Aarggh!" "Aarggh!" "my knee!" "Aarggh!" "Oh, fuck, my knee!" "Mobile 2, where are you?" "I've apprehended the vehicle." "What's your 20?" "He got away." "Terry!" "Terry, bro!" "Give me a double. mate." "I broke my knee!" "I don't care what's happened to you." "Aarggh!" "Go and jump in the lake where you fuckin' belong." "I'm gonna push your stupid wagon in the lake, mate, with you on it!" "( FRANKY SEETHES IN PAIN )" "Oh. man!" "Oh!" "Hello." "Emergency." "I'm at 21 Ramsay Street, Sunnyvale." "I need the ambulance cos my knee's, like... oh, it's fully fucked!" "I'm sorry, but the ambulance service is no longer allowed to enter that area. sir." "Well...why not?" "WAZZA:" "Why?" "Because every time an ambulance showed up..." "What the fuck are you lookin' at!" "..the local kids would throw bloody bricks at it." "So what are you saying?" "Like, you're not going to send me an ambulance?" "Is that what you're saying?" "only the police and the fire service are authorised to enter your area." "Hey!" "What do you think you're doing?" "It's an emergency." "I'll get you another one." "If you steal me another one, you'd better make it two." "I need a recycle bin." "You got one!" "( PHONE RINGS )" "Hello." "Fire, ambulance or police?" "Give me the fire. dickheads." "( SIREN WAILS )" "Come on, bro." "It's just a burnout!" "Harden up, man." "Stuff him!" "If he's gonna be soft, he can bloody walk home!" "Fuck yeah, let's go!" "Fuckin' put your foot down, you little bitch!" "Let's fuckin' wreck the car!" "My fuckin' eyes are stinging!" "My head's spinnin'!" "The fuckin' drugs!" "The pepper spray!" "This is the best day ever!" "Spin it!" "Spin it!" "( PHONE RINGS )" "Yeah." "Hello?" "Kylie, it's me." "One minute, Alright?" "One minute." "Did youse pick up my car?" " Oh!" " Yeah, I picked it up already." " Good." "Mad." "Hectic." " Are you OK, babe?" "I've stuffed my knee up, like, really bad." "So I'm just going to the hospital now." "Whoo!" "Sh...it!" "Look, I'll call youse back later." "But listen, like, Kylie, don't stooge around in my car, Alright?" "Yeah, OK." "Love you." "Bye." "Nobody tell him I did a burnout in his car cos he'II fucking kill me." "(AII whoop)" "No." "I'm not an alcho." "It's just..." "cos I've got a pain on the leg." "Excuse me." "Um, my knee's got..." "like, it's got, like, see...it's fucked." "Can I get, like, someone to, like. fix on it?" "fill out these forms and take a seat." " Um. is that alcohol?" " Yeah." "There was no way I could drive if I wasn't pissed cos that hurts that bad." "But I can scull it quick." "Look, anyway, get the doctor to come and then he can give me drugs and then I don't need that." "But. look." "I can scull it if it will make the doctor come faster." "I can smash this in minutes." "Look." "bloody Franky." "I bet he's going for the disability with his fucking busted knee." "( PHONE RINGS ) I wish I had a fucking disability." "Prick." " Yeah?" " Hey, Shaz." "It's me." "One minute." "Kev!" "Don't let him play with the bloody nail gun, Alright?" "WAZZA:" "Well, they might not look it, but Kev and Vanessa are two of the better parents that you'll find down on the block." "Well. what the fuck did I knock if off for. then?" "Don't worry about her, son." "Just go shoot a bird. (Sniggers)" "Shaz, I didn't want to say nothing in front of Kev..." "Son. there's some birds." "Shoot the birds, son. (Laughs)" "..but I found some money off the copper." "(Imitates gunfire) Fuck off." "I was thinking we should have a girls' night out." "I'd love to get out of this fucking shithole." "Count me in. darlin'." "Shazza, I've worked out a way just to get a bit fucked up so I can get on the pension." "You're fucked." "If I snort enough of this shit, it's gotta fuck something up." "Darren!" "Don't you waste all my bloody bug spray." "It wasn't my fault." "Stop blaming me." "Hey!" "Habib." "WAZZA:" "If you're wondering who these idiots are." "they're the local Lebo gang, the Sunnyvale Assassins." "What's going on with this festival of the dots mate?" "What, did youse, like, have a fight with the shaver?" "Abdul, go tell them lot to make us better, Alright?" "Why me?" "You do it." " Get out of here." " Fuck." "Alright, I'm going." " Jeez." " Ask the sexy nurse." "Where's the sexy one?" "Get rid of these guys." "Hurry up." " Fuck off!" " Get out of here!" "Come on. man. what is with these." "like, 500 small injuries youse have?" "I swear. like. some dickheads tried to kill our aunty." "Can you believe this shit?" "Like, so the Assassins went fully after them." "What dickheads?" "WAZZA:" "Turns out that the dickhead they were talking about was actually Franky." "So the Assassins went down to the Sunnyvale Fire Station... and did a drive-by." "Yeah." "But Habib. the dickhead." "didn't wind the windows down." "So when we shot the bullets." "the glass went everywhere, bro." " Fucking idiot." " Oh, my God." "It's a common mistake." "Shaz, I think I've finally done it." "I think I've got a disability." "Dazza, I'm going out." "Don't let the kids get hold of me joints again." " Where are the bloody kids?" " Oh. fucked if I know." "Fuck!" "What the fuck did you do to your eye?" "I told you." "I been on the bug spray." "This is gonna get me on the pension for sure. love." "You're fucked in the face." "Daz." "WAZZA:" "Not sure that was one of Dazza's better ideas." "And it's the kind of thing that makes you wanna bugger off from the house and forget the person you're sleeping with." "And that's just what Shazza did." "The girls all got pissed and went into town looking for some male strippers." "Hello?" "Oh. what?" "!" "Oh. what the fuck?" "!" "Fuck." "Fucking gotta go home." "Oi, fucking Nessa." "What's doing?" "Fucking Kevin!" "Let's get in there, girls." "WAZZA:" "They reckon time flies when you're having fun - and the girls were really having a bloody good time with those pooncey strippers - but back at the hospital, Franky was waiting for hours." "You...had to go out and get a bloody nail gun." " Yeah. he wants to be a builder." " Frank Falzoni?" "I wanted to go out." "And, as usual, you stuffed it all up." "ALL:" "Whoo." " You shut the hell up." " Fuck you, you dirty scrag." "Hey!" "Don't you fucking talk to my missus like that, you fuck." " Who the fuck are you?" " Fuck you." "WAZZA:" "Now, if you've never been to Sunnyvale hospital, it really is shit." "We get the worst doctors in the state." "(Asian accent) I...think this is very complicated." "It's a busted leg, mate." "That's basic for doctors." "I study... part-time." "Part-time." "Hey, that's a tattoo." "That's a injury." "I think you need the boss doctor." "Boss doctor?" "Where's the toilet?" " Excuse me." " Yeah." "Um. that idiot doctor said I have to see. like. a boss doctor." " Who's that?" " You mean the registrar?" "You will see him when he make his next rounds." "Yeah." "But. like." "when's this gonna be?" "could be anytime in the next six hours." "WAZZA:" "Back at the strip club, the girls' night out was going great guns." "That is until Franky's ex and Kylie's sister showed up." "Oh, look who we got here." "It's your sister and those fucking sluts." " Fucking hairy little moII." " Fucking sluts." "And what the fuck?" " She brings her fucking kid in here." " Yes." "Some people just don't deserve fucking kids." "WAZZA:" "Ah." "Shazza." "people in fibro houses really shouldn't throw stones." "Reg, I left you in charge of the baby." "Where is she?" "(Sighs) Darren?" "Go and find the baby." "(High-pitched voice) Fuck off, Mum." "I'm busy, right?" "They better not fucking come over here." "Come on." "Show us what you got." "WAZZA:" "In case you're wondering who's who." "the girl on the right is Cheree, that's Franky's ex-de-facto." "And that's Franky's little boy, Anarchy." "Top name." "Next to her is crystal, Kylie's sister." "Oh, they're fighting at the moment." "And Franky used to go out with her, too." "Next to her is Franky's cousin Sabeena." "Now, she's only 1 7 but she's been around the block a few times, I'll tell you." " Yeah." "Dazza!" " Oh. don't tell Shazza." "Cheree, you should punch that Kylie bitch out for cutting your grass." "Bring it, you dumb fucking bitch." " Fuck me slut sister." "Let's bash her." " She's fucking arcing up." "Here, hold Anarchy for me." "WAZZA:" "Now, if you ever see Sunnyvale girls punching on, fuck off quick." "They hit harder than the blokes." "Well, the good news is we'II be able to patch you up." "Sick." "The bad news is you'll have a serious limp for a While." "Doctor, are you saying that, like, when I'm walking, people are gonna, like, think, Eh." "I think he's a disabled?" "Mmm." "I suppose so." "Yes." "Yes. mate!" "Yes." "Kev, did you hear that?" "Guess who's on the disability, man." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Man, I'm gonna have a drink to me on the disability." "I swear, I feel like I just won the grand final." "Man, I'm happy." "Ha!" "Look at this. mate." "For the car so I can get the spastic spot." "I got the pension card, too." "Hey, man?" "Brother, you did some fucking sick work today, mate." "Normally I would say you're a dickhead, but today, fuck, you're on fire." "My job's just to make sure you get what you're entitled to." "Thumbs up to you, brother." "Fuck, I'm spewing." "Fucking eye gets better just as I go in there." "Stupid fucking eye." "Hey, the chicks just texted us, man." "They want a lift from the shops." "Let's go." "This is a great day to be disabled." "Hey, Kylie." "Guess who's got fully classed, like, as disabled by Centrelink." "Hey?" "Hey?" "Baby, that's awesome." "Now we're cashed up we can go and buy smokes." "Come here, baby." " Hey, Shaz, do you want a pash?" " What did you do to deserve a pash?" "Well, what about a hickey, then?" "Did I ask you for a hickey, dickhead?" "Come on." "WAZZA:" "Well, Franky was really flying high." "What a mad day." "Until his ex-de-facto and her Samoan boyfriend showed up." "With his 1 2-year-old girlfriend slut." "Didn't you fucking cop enough last time, you dumb, stupid old moII?" "Ooh, like, I'm fucking scared of you." "Hey, you, now you've got disabled money, you pay me the money you owe for the child of the support." "I'm not paying a cent because you're trying to put your authority on me." "Alright?" "I don't like authority." "I hate it." "Fuck you, Franky." "Now you're cashed up, pay fucking child support, you cheap cockhead." "(Both shout at once)" "Look at the size of the fucking kid." "As if it's fucking his." "Look at it. mate." "It's a mini Hulk." "Pay me my money!" "WAZZA:" "Now. this is where Franky's luck really went bad." "First, the guy from Centrelink sees him having a blue with a Samoan." "( PHONE RINGS ) Yes?" "Hello." "Waseem?" "I want you to cancel the disability benefits of...what's his name?" "Frank Falzoni." "You won't believe what I'm seeing right at the moment." "should we investigate him for fraud. as Well?" "definitely." "He's trying to take us for fools." "WAZZA:" "Then the bloody coppers arrested everyone." "BOTH:" "We got you this time, Falzoni." "WAZZA:" "And, to add insult to injury, the Lebos knocked off Franky's car." "Let's get these fire station dickheads." "And, Habib, don't fuck it up this time." "Oh, my God, I know - wind the window down." "I'm not stupid." " (Exclaims) Habib!" " Oh, my God." "In the end. it didn't turn out all that bad, really." "Shazza, Kylie, Franky, all got home detention." "But all that meant was that Centrelink couldn't make them go out look for a job." "I guess you could say it was just another typical fucking week on the block."