"***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "***" "I should probably have something more distinguished than everyone else, being dance chairman and all." " Oh, Jesus." " Here we go." "It's an honor." "You should get a monocle." "Not what I was thinking, but I like that you're an idea man." "You got yourself a spot on the dance committee." "Yes!" "I thought you said we all had to be on it already." "Don't take this away from me, Jay." "It's not that big of a deal." "Every aspect of this dance is riding on my shoulders." "And I had to fight like hell for Mr. Gilbert to give me a chance." "It's no so much long as it is wide, which, uh, is just as good, I think." "Mr. Gilbert." "Oh, God." "I won't take much of your time." "I just wanted to give you a quick presentation on why I am the best candidate for dance chairman." "[Soothing classical music]" "Picture yourself in a room of glittering fantasy, the aroma of culinary delicacies, the lilting sounds-- nobody else wants to do it." "What's that?" "You're the only one who's volunteered, so... have at it." "Oh." "Great." "[Music stops]" "Never mind." "Anyway, you ever, uh, see a soup can?" "Chairing the dance would be a huge victory for me." "Using my skills at organization, I could win back the adoration of the entire student body and, in turn, Samantha Morrison..." "And her student body." "♪ She looks like ♪" "♪ like, like ♪" "♪ like, like ♪" "♪ she looks like ♪" "♪ like, like ♪" "♪ like, like ♪" "♪ she looks like ♪" "And Jay was right." "The tuxedo would help..." "At least some of us." "I don't know." "It feels a little too-- Jazzy?" "That looks like my Nana's bingo shirt." "Damn it." "I want to attract people." "You'll attract my pop-pop." "Yo, check this out." "Awesome." "Up top, you're like, "Hello, Mr. President."" "And on the bottom, you're like, "suck my ass!"" "[Laughs]" "I don't think shorts are really considered formal wear." "Are you kidding?" "These are so fashion forward." "I'm surprised this place even has them." "We don't, sir." "These are Toddler's pants." "[All snickering]" "They're Jay pants now." "I don't like any of these." "Too jazzy?" "No, not jazzy enough." "I want my tuxedo to stand out, but not because it's made out of baby clothes." "Come to the back." "I may have just what you need." "Come." "[Upbeat tropical melody]" "♪ ♪" "Is this cool?" "So we had our tuxedos." "And I had a dance to plan." "So key club raised $436, most of which will go to band and food, but we still have $60 left for decorations." "We only need one decoration:" "Booze in the punch." "[Both giggling]" "No!" "You hear me, Jay?" "Yeah, I hear you." "I won't put booze in the punch." "What was that?" "You just smiled at each other." "There's no law against smiling." "Do you think I'm an idiot?" "Do you think I'm an idiot?" "I think you're both idiots." "[Sighs]" "I just want this to be perfect." "So do I." "I'm using this dance to get Brie back." "I miss her so much." "Maybe you could babysit her." "Shut up!" "Okay?" "She's only two years younger than me." "But she's in middle school, Jay." "Only high school kids are allowed to the dance." "What?" "You're the dance chairman." "It's one of the guidelines." "And I have to protect the overall vibe of the dance." "Fine." "Maybe her and I will just have our own dance." "You're not invited." "[Bell rings]" "Jay was right about dance emotions running high, and it turns out he wasn't the only one looking for special treatment." "Donovan." "I want my band to play at homecoming." "You have a band?" "The garage doors." "We all play lead guitar." "Thing is, the school has already hired a band that they've approved." "And there are no student performers, so, you know..." "It's for insurance reasons." "Uh... excuse me." "Don't touch me." "I shan't." "Um..." "I couldn't blame him for wanting to use the dance to impress people." "We all wanted a chance to turn things around." "Hey." "Hey!" "♪ Oh, how we'd ♪" "♪ both pretend ♪" "So it's over, huh?" "Yeah." "He thinks having a serious girlfriend will make going off to college harder." "What?" "I can't imagine having you as a girlfriend would make anything harder." "You're such a good friend, Simon." "And turning things around was never easy, especially for me." "Hello-- so I'm chairing the dance, you might have heard." "Not really something they announce." "True, but on the streets, word is out." "Any-yo, this kind of thing is sort of a no-brainer for guys like me:" "Organizing things, dances, dates..." "[Chuckles]" "Proposals." "Don't propose to me." "Oh, no, no, no." "I'll need horses for that." "Uh, something I did plan, though." "Homecoming dance, anyone?" "Awesome." "Thanks." "Don't think I did that right." "[Lively rock music]" "Not to brag, but I was every bit the dance chairman I hoped I would be." "It was all coming together." "[Dissonant guitar chords]" "♪ ♪" "Well, I'm a fan, really, but no student performers." "[Chuckles nervously]" "If this little guy keeps growing, we're gonna have some weed soon." "That is literally a weed." "Guess we'll find out when we smoke it." "I have to tell Carly how I feel." "No more being just a friend." "I can't take it anymore." "I have to make a move." "Lay it on the line." "Fortes fortuna adiuvat." "Fortune favors the bold." "You speak Latin?" "Most of it." "Bold." "I need to be bold, show her I'm the guy who will commit." "You should sing." "I'm not gonna sing." "You sing like an angel." "I appreciate that." "Maybe you can help me orchestrate a big moment at the dance." "I'm really gonna be focusing on other things:" "The lighting, the band playlist, keeping people from spiking the punch." "Please, Will, if I'm gonna lay it on the line, it has to be romantic." "I can't risk everything just so you can get a girl." "You're only doing it to get a girl." "Logic." "My Achilles heel." "Fine." "I'll come up with something." "Yes." "What?" "You would do that for Simon, but you wouldn't let me invite Brie?" "Brie dumped you, Jay." "But I know I can win her back at the dance." "Whatever." "If you have enough man power to hang all those streamers," "I guess I can-- Don't take this out on the streamers." "You leave me no choice." "If Brie doesn't come, I'm not gonna do it either." "Thanks, man." "I just wanted to get out of hanging streamers." "No one is getting out of hanging streamers." "I'll tell the doorman to let in middle school kids, okay?" "You win." "There's a doorman?" "It's just a janitor in a tie." "Oh." "He needs the money." "♪ What goes on ♪" "♪ get up ♪" "♪ just like dat ♪" "♪ get up ♪" "♪ just like dat ♪" "♪ get up ♪" "♪ just like dat ♪" "♪ get up ♪" "♪ just like dat ♪" "♪ screamin' gangsta ♪" "♪ 20 years later ♪" "♪ of course endorsed ♪" "♪ while consciousness faded ♪" "♪ new generation ♪" "♪ believing' them fables ♪" "And finally, the chance to change our lives had arrived." "♪ Show no love ♪" "♪ so it's easy to hate it ♪" "♪ desecrated while ♪" "♪ the coroner waited ♪" "Maybe, by the end of the night, we'd be kings." "We definitely looked the part." "What do you think?" "At least most of us." "Wow." "That's what I said." "Jazzy." "All right, people." "Doors open in ten minutes." "Let's get this place ready!" "[Chuckles]" "It's just us." "Right." "I see that now." "[Laid-back rock music]" "♪ ♪" "♪ all lights go ♪" "An hour later, the dance was swinging." "Everything was going in my favor." "And Simon's big moment was approaching." "20 minute warning." "[Sighs]" "Thanks." "Who you talking to on the headset?" "Nobody." "It's just an effective way for me to remind everybody who's running all of this." "Oh." "Can I get the stage lights a little bit hotter?" "Thanks." "So you're going with a song?" "Yeah, I wrote it for Carly about a year ago, but I never had the balls to sing it to her." "Well, you can tonight." "The band takes a break at 8:45, then there's a two-minute pause built into a prerecorded playlist before the music starts." "That's your moment." "Got it." "That's all I need." "Thanks for this, Will." "Hey, what are friends-- Can I get some more chicken fingers out here pronto?" "It'll be just a minute." "[Chuckles]" "Dance chairman." "♪ Oh, girl ♪" "♪ I want to see you tonight ♪" "And just as Jay had hoped, his 13-year-old ex-girlfriend jumped at the chance to attend a high school dance." "Yes!" "Brie!" "But what he didn't consider was that other 13-year-olds could come now too, like Simon's little brother." "Todd?" "♪ Oh, girl ♪" "You came with him?" "We're going out." "Ugh." "Jay's chances at winning Brie back were gone, not so much because she was with another 13-year-old, but because she was with a much cooler guy." "Todd, what are you doing here?" "This is my girl, dude." "One of 'em." "I'm calling mom and dad." "They're in the parking lot, fartsicle." "Who do you think brought us here?" "You gave me up for him?" "I'm sorry." "We were just wrong." "Socially." "Yeah, for me!" "For me, we were wrong socially, not for you!" "Stop yelling at me." "You're not my dad!" "[Scoffs]" "Blow pops." "What?" "In case you wanted to know what her mouth tastes like." "Yeah!" "Neil!" "What?" "He's awesome." "[Scoffs]" "[Laid-back rock music]" "♪ ♪" "♪ you say that you ♪" "♪ you need some time ♪" "You're up after this song." "Okay, good." "Breathe." "You can do this." "Fill that two minutes of silence with your love." "I will." "We belong together." "I just hope I have the chords to make her realize that." "Hey, Will." "Great dance." "Oh, and thanks for the tickets." "You came with Bobby?" "Yeah, just as friends." "That's all I'm looking for right now." "Ironic." "Oop." "It is a good dance, Will." "Yeah." "People seem to be having fun, except Jay." "I thought things would be a little looser by now." "You didn't spike the punch, did you?" "I guess I didn't." "He did." "It was just the punch in the chaperone's lounge." "♪ Ah ♪" "♪ I really want to work ♪" "♪ this out ♪" "♪ ah ♪" "♪ I really want to work ♪" "And though Jay's chance at love had been stolen by Simon's little brother..." "Thank you so much." "We're gonna take a really quick break, and then we'll be right back." "[Cheers and applause]" "Simon's hopes were still alive." "Carly." "[Sighs]" "Um, I've... but though his hopes were alive, something else wasn't." "I've written-- Excuse me, everybody." "I have an important announcement to make, now that there's this unexpected pause in the music." "Uh, I just received word that our librarian who, as many of you know, was laid off at the beginning of the year has, uh... [sniffs]" "Shot herself." "[Crowd gasping]" "Yeah, she's--she's dead." "But she was a good woman." "And she had a decent body, parts of her, anyway, that weren't..." "[Sighs]" "Splattered all over the wall." "So let's all give her a moment of silence, huh?" "She took the reins." "She took the reins." "How about this punch, huh?" "[Laughs]" "Ms. Shulson is dead?" "[Screams]" "Why?" "The dance was a hit." "The band was fantastic, the food, tolerable." "It was everything I wanted it to be." "♪ Hannah takes the stairs ♪" "But the truth was, it felt like a failure." "It turns out a room full of people having a good time doesn't feel that rewarding when none of them are your friends." "[Melancholy rock and roll music]" "♪ ♪" "But sometimes help comes from where you'd least expect it." "How you doing, Cartwright?" "Fine, I guess." "Is it a girl?" "[Chuckles]" "[Sighs]" "You know none of it matters, right?" "None of what matters?" "Any of the stuff you're worried about:" "The girls, the rejection, the sex." "You think your life is one big drama, but it's not." "Trust me, all the people that you're trying to win over now, they're not gonna mean a damn thing in the big picture of your life." "So just dance." "Dance?" "Dance... 'Cause one day, you will have stuff to worry about." "But you don't right now." "Right now, you can dance." "I never knew you were this nice, Mr. Gilbert." "He wasn't." "He was just drunk." "Where are you going?" "Dance!" "It's about time." "[Upbeat dance music]" "♪ ♪" "♪ you spin my head ♪" "♪ right round ♪" "♪ right round ♪" "♪ when you go down ♪" "♪ when you go down ♪" "♪ hey, walk out that house ♪" "♪ with my swagger ♪" "♪ hop in, there we go ♪" "♪ I got places to go ♪" "♪ people to see ♪" "♪ time is precious ♪" "♪ I look at my Cartier ♪" "♪ out of control ♪" "♪ just like my mind ♪" "♪ where I'm going ♪" "♪ no women, no shorties ♪" "♪ no nothin' but clothes ♪" "♪ no stoppin' now ♪" "♪ my pirellis on roll ♪" "♪ I like my jewelry ♪" "♪ that's always on gold ♪" "♪ you spin my head right round ♪" "♪ right round ♪" "♪ when you go down ♪" "♪ when you go down, down ♪" "♪ you spin my head ♪" "♪ right round ♪" "♪ right round ♪" "♪ when you go down ♪" "♪ when you go down, down ♪" "And watching Jay groove to the beat, I finally started to feel like my dance was a success." "You want to dance?" "What?" "Come on." "♪ Right round ♪" "♪ right round ♪" "♪ when you go down ♪" "♪ when you go down, down ♪" "♪ hey ♪" "♪ you spin my head ♪" "♪ right round ♪" "♪ right round ♪" "♪ when you go down ♪" "♪ when you go down, down ♪" "But it wasn't done yet." "Sorry, there's something I have to do." "♪ Right round ♪" "♪ when you go down ♪" "♪ when you go down, down ♪" "[Cheers and applause]" "Come on." "Where are we going?" "You're gonna sing your song." "It's a love song, Will." "It'll ruin the vibe." "Who cares?" "♪ I'm not dreaming of you ♪" "Simon needs your guitar." "We don't really let-- I'm the dance chairman!" "Give him your guitar!" "This is our night, Simon." "Do it." "Key of "C."" "We're not playing with you, man." "Oh." "[Soothing guitar]" "♪ ♪" "♪ no love ever lived forever ♪" "♪ no love ever died alone ♪" "♪ if you wake up ♪" "♪ to find the joy of forever ♪" "Like an angel." "♪ It's with someone ♪" "♪ you've always known ♪" "And it turned out Simon was great at writing songs that convinced people to commit to the ones they loved... ♪ ♪" "Just the wrong ones." "No love ever died alone." "♪ So open your eyes ♪" "♪ and I'll be there ♪" "♪ shining like the sun ♪" "♪ from above ♪" "♪ and even ♪" "And as announcing he was singing the song for Carly would have made the situation even more embarrassing, he had no choice but to play on." "♪ Even as the wind ♪" "♪ blows the barley ♪" "♪ I will always love you ♪" "♪ cars... ♪" "♪ I love ♪" "♪ cars ♪" "Maybe I should have started off with a dedication to her." "Yeah, might have been a good idea." "Very good song, though." "Catchy." "Definitely had an impact." "No student performers, huh?" "You screwed my band." "Three guitars isn't really a band." "You are done, briefcase." "It's over." "Donovan, let him go!" "I'm just holding him through the storm, Lionel Richie." "That's our friend." "So?" "I don't know how to fight, but I know how to bite, so whatever happens, no matter how many times you punch me, you will get bit." "Leave him alone, Donovan." "Yeah, stop being a dick, man." "It's a good dance." "Don't be stupid." "Thanks." "This isn't over, briefcase." "Move!" "Wow." "Thank you." "Thank you, everybody." "I actually thought I might be put on the spot like this, so I prepared a few words." ""Dear class of..."" "So that was it." "[Boisterous laughter]" "A dance that started as a way for us to get all the things we wanted ended up showing us how much we already had:" "Friends that you didn't need to win over with a song or your organization skills, true friends." "And what else do you really need?" "You were gonna bite him." "[All laughing]" "The human bite has a high infection rate." "It's like a punch that lands three weeks later." "[All laughing]" "From the chaperone's lounge." "Ooh!" "Oh, that's where it went." "Ugh, what a waste of grain alcohol." "Not really." "Ms. peeler told me there was a pop quiz on Monday..." "Right before she threw up in the plants." "[All laughing]" "Wow." "Good stuff." "For the librarian." "May she be shushing all the angels in heaven." "If she still has that part of her face left." "Ugh." "Makes you think, though." "What are we thinking about?" "Carly." "Brie." "That pop quiz on Monday." "[All laughing]" "I just can't believe the first girl I ever had feelings for left me for a child." "Especially since you dress like one." "That's it." "Whoa!"