"He should be here any minute now." "Is he bringing his checkbook?" "Between her plane ticket and bus fare to Beijing, I'm in for almost a grand." "Flight reimbursement is included in the deal." "What if I don't like him?" "Then you can go back to Hebei Province and grow potatoes." "Don't say anything stupid." "Is this a joke?" "Welcome to our family, Mr. Sun." "My sister and I are so pleased to meet you." "You promised me a beautiful girl." "I never actually said "beautiful."" "You said she had "pleasing attributes."" "And I'm sure she does." "My sister's a good cook." "And very thrifty." "So am I." "And I paid to find a wife, not a squatty peasant who still smells like sheep shit." "Call me when you want to get serious." "We had a deal!" "Son of a bitch." "What do we do now?" "I don't want to go back to China." "I can't take care of her." "Do you have any idea how much she eats?" "Business has been terrible." "You must know someone else who needs a wife." "I'm only as good as the product." "If you don't have the looks, you at least need charm." "How about finding someone less picky?" "It's not like this guy was on the A-list." "What am I going to do?" "I could help you in the shop." "You owe me eight hundred dollars." "Seven million people in New York City and none of them in my shop." "Maybe we could start doing foot massages or something." "Shit, you're right." "Just like the three actual massage places on this block." "You're a marketing wizard." "Okay, we've got two boxes of dried sea cucumber and a box of deer antlers." "Really nice this time, from New Zealand." "And?" "Where's my special delivery?" "We had a little setback." "That idiot Zhang Bo got himself busted." "I need this stuff, Deng." "You think I make money on fucking chrysanthemum tea?" "I have six people waiting on bear bile." "The cops are all over the neighborhood, stopping anyone suspicious." "Your gall bladders are sitting with 300 Gs worth of rhino horn in a storage unit in Flushing and we can't touch them." "Look, this will blow over." "We wait a few months..." "A few months?" "No." "Take Mei." "Have her carry it." "This is no job for a woman." "It's a job for this woman." "The whole time we've been talking, she was standing right there." "You never even looked at her." "She's invisible." "I can do it." "It's a dance, but you just walk backward." "And your feet don't ever leave the ground." "That's not a dance." " Says who?" " Says me." "Well, you're not in charge." "Is this why you bought those penny-loafers?" "Where the fuck is this guy?" " Fu." " Hmm." "Does this stuff really work?" "Which stuff?" "The stuff." "For men." "I've been with you guys for months now and it's like half the business:" "The penis soup, the snake blood..." "Maybe it's not whether it works, but whether you think it works." "But it's like nobody in China can get a boner." "That can't be true." "It's more about feeling powerful." "I have this American girlfriend." "Taller than I am, with yellow hair, she smokes these thin cigarettes." "Scares the shit out of me." "Men are dumb." "Ah!" "Ni Kan." "Finally." "Eggs?" "Fu." "They're Ping-Pong balls." "Huh?" "Shenme?" "Fucking Koreans." "You might have saved my life, Mei." "I owe you." "I know what I want." "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "This is the fuckwad who rejected you?" "It's not like I'm looking at God's gift here." "Right?" "I remember you." "What do you want us to do with him?" "What do you want us to do with him?" "You will always be an ugly girl who no one wants." "Whether I live or die, nothing will change that." "He's right." "Nothing will change." "Mei!" "What should we do with him?" "Should we let him go?" "Nah." "Cut out his gall bladder." "No!" "(man screaming)"