"MOTHERLAND" "How are you feeling?" " I'm fine, really." " Let's get her to a doctor." "She doesn't want a doctor." "I'm fine, really." "And your parents?" "Where are they?" "They're good, Nuriye." "They're in Ankara." "Better they don't hear about this." "They'd be so upset." " Who is it?" " Habibaba, it's me, Nesrin." "Nesrin who?" "Zela's granddaughter, Nesrin." "Alright." "Just a moment." "Sorry to bother at this hour." "Come, come in." "Thanks, Habibaba, I can't." "I'll just get my key and go." "What key?" "You'll get cold." "Stay here tonight." "Thank you, Habibaba." "I've got a blanket." "Don't worry." "Come in, stay here." "Stay with me." "I wouldn't want to bother you." "Thanks anyway." " Are you married?" " Married and divorced." " You got kids?" " No, no kids." "When did you go get married and divorce?" "You've only got two kids?" "Two more are at home with grandma Dudu." "One is still a baby." "God bless them." "What's Sakine doing?" "She moved to Kayseri with her husband." " Her boys are grown." "One's going into the army soon." "Really?" "They'll be here for the holiday." "Come by some time." "That would be great." "Come in and see grandma Dudu." "I hope to some time." "She's still alive, huh?" "She is, but she's bedridden." "She had nobody when my mother died, so we had to move back here." "If you're going to be miserable, better to be miserable in your own village." " May your mother rest in peace." " Thank you and God bless you." "You look just like your mother, you know?" "That's what they say." "See you later, Nesrin." "Thank you." "It's nothing." "You're right, Morn." "But I'm fine." "Don't worry." "Yes, I lit the stove." "I'll be fine, really." "Stop worrying" "Mom, please." "If you came I wouldn't be able to concentrate." "We've been over this." "Please try to understand." "The villagers have plenty to do without worrying about me." "Morn, that's enough." "Fine." "All right." "See you." "The other worker isn't here." "When he comes back, I'll be able to leave." "Don't worry about me." "See you later." "Mr. Huseyin isn't here?" "No." "He's at a funeral." "When is he back?" "I don't know." "My car is just sitting there." "It hasn't been touched." "I don't know anything about it." "Fine, just tell him I came, OK?" "OK." "Say the owner of the red car was here." "OK." "And she's really mad because no work has been done on it." " OK?" " OK." "Good." " What's your name?" " My name is Halil." "Where have you been with your mother waiting like this?" "Oh, Nesrin, where have you been?" "Poor mother has been waiting for hours." "What kind of daughter does that?" "How are you, Habibaba?" "May God keep them together." "Thank you." "Welcome." "How are you?" "I'm fine, Nuriye." "Give your mom a hug." "She missed you." "I'm waiting for my son to come back from Iraq at the New Year." "I'll know it's close when they start selling turkeys on TV." "It's nothing, Morn." "Nesrin, darling." "Why didn't you leave the key to Habibaba?" "I texted you before getting on the bus." "Didn't you get it?" "I got it, Mom." "I just didn't expect you this early." "But I said I'd be here at 3." "But you didn't make it clear." "The town?" "Or the village?" "Come on, you know the bus passes by the village." "If I knew it, I forgot." "What's this with 'come on'?" "We should be going, too." "Let's go." " You're going?" " Pardon?" " You're going?" " Yes, we'd better be going." "See you all later." "Leave that one to me." "Let's see now." "You didn't have to do that." "No, it's all yours." "They're from Ankara." "You can have them with tea." "Bless your mother's soul." "Thank you so much." "Let me do it." "Her shroud." "Just waiting for us all along." "What did I do wrong?" "I miss you so much." "Forgive me." "Why won't you visit my dreams?" "Nesrin, she visits everyone but me." "Nihal even saw her in her dreams." "What did I do to you to deserve this?" "Just show yourself once, mother." "My dear mother." "Come here." "My sweetheart." "Come on, sit down." " I'm sorry, Nesrin." " For what?" "It just came over me." "You changed the room?" "I just moved the table so I can write." "That's where your grandma's sofa went." "How's your underwear?" "Comfy?" "Good." "Itches a bit." "It will go away after you wash it." "Look, I have a pair, too." "It's so comfortable, Nesrin." "Remember my groin pain?" "It's really gone away." "They feel great." "Morn, when did you buy these?" "It just came to my mind." "I figured my daughter would change her mind and invite me." "So you were planning to come even when I was still in Istanbul?" "Don't be cruel, Nesrin." "It's not like that." "When I heard about the accident, I rushed here." "That's mother's love." "My mother always used to say it." "'Easier to be a stone than a mother'." "You can't understand unless you have a child." "Haven't you cleaned enough already?" "How are you, Siddik?" "Not too bad" "How about you?" "I see you're cleaning." "I've started anyway." "I couldn't just leave Nesrin all alone here." "A mother should always look after her daughter." "Of course." "Imagine her in this house all alone." "It just wouldn't be proper." "It's really great of you to come." "What can you do?" "Life has it's rules." "Daughters shouldn't be left alone." " Very true." " They shouldn't be left alone." " That's right." "Daughters are like wheat grass." "They always need support." "That last one was too heavy." "I really don't want to disturb you." "But my back is killing me." "Can't you massage it just a little?" "Anyway, forget it." "Oh, right there." "I'd better clean my mother's room, too." "Why put yourself out?" "I told I already cleaned in there." "But it hadn't been touched in a year." "I'll be quick." "Mom, come on." "It's fine how it is." "I haven't written a thing all morning." "But you were at your computer." "I figured it was going well." "Halise?" "Where are you?" "I've brought you some cheese." "Nesrin, when you bend over you can see down your shirt." "Why don't you put on something else?" "We were here and there were birds." "I was sitting right there." "It's so hard to talk about." "It hurts so much to talk about." "It was like the birds were trying to wake her." "'Get up!" "' They pecked at her." "I told her the birds are trying to wake her." "She said they just wanted some food." "She got some seeds and came back slow." "You should have seen those birds eat!" "I asked how she managed to train them like that." "'I just feed them, ' she told me." "It was so hard." "Then we mixed molasses and yogurt." "My sister was here from Mersin." "She tried to get her to eat it." "She had to force her to eat it." "May she rest in peace." "It was so hard." "It was so hard, it hurts to talk about." "For sure." "I really hurts remembering these things." "Just last year we were on the terrace." "Exactly this time of year." "An owl flew over us." "She looks at me and laughs." "And she says, 'Who has he come for, you or me?" "'" "A month later, she was gone." "Who says owls bring good luck?" "They never do." "No, no, no." "It just hoots like crazy like it's eating itself." "Then after a few days something bad always happens." "We've got this relative in Izmir." "That day he called my mother-in-law." "Veli's oldest daughter was moving." "Sorry, my headphones slipped." "What's up?" "I'm OK." "Yeah, just here." "I'm calling you but you never pick up." "I know." "You're right." "Everything's going OK, right?" "I have to ask you for another extension." "Yeah, I know." "You know I can't finish it by then." "What can I say?" "Just give me until the holiday." "Yes." "OK, thank you." "I'll be in touch." "You haven't touched my car at all." "It's almost ready." "I've been working on it for the last three days." "So he misses some pre-school?" "Say it's not healthy for him." "Say it's affecting his morals or something." "Right, Nihal." "I'm the selfish one here." "Right, I never think of anyone else." "Of course." "I don't know." "Just say you miss her and want to see her." "How should I know you're on vacation?" "Good luck with all that." "Fine." "It's no problem." "Goodbye then." "They sold all their farm lands." "Now the men just sit around in the cafes." "And the women do the same around the neighbourhood." "What's my crime really?" "If my husband were a real man, would it be like this?" "It's like I'm the only one around here." "He comes around to take what I have." "Then he beats me up good." "If he'd just work a day in his life." "Then leave him and go." "Like I've got anywhere to go." "There are women's shelters." "Have you heard of those?" "I was ready to go once." "But the closest one is all the way in Adana." "Just give it some thought." "If you want, I can help you." "Thanks." "Come here, my girl." "Tamer'!" "?" "This is for your grandmother." "I'd better be going." "But I was going to milk the goats and send you off with fresh milk." "Another time." "It's getting late." "You don't need to do that." "You didn't say goodbye to Granny Dudu." "I'll be back soon." "Where'd you find that photo?" "That's the scarf you're wearing now." "Should I make more tea?" "Nesrin, you're hurting me." "It's just not right." "I was so worried." "I called but you never answered." "What's to worry about?" "It's not even eight O'clock." "Sweetheart, in the village that's late." "I spent all day doing what I can to bring luck to you so you can work." "I gave money to Kadriye and asked her to pray for you." "That you may finish your book on time." "I gave a little something to Nuriye." "And thanked her for her effort." "But you can't keep people from talking." ""What's she writing?" "Why is she writing?"" ""Why would she quite her job?"" ""What happened to her actor husband?"" "Then your father called." "'Get back here!" "My blood-sugar is up.'" "I told him how you need me here." "I told him just to watch what he eats." "Now I'm the woman who doesn't listen to her husband." "He told me how you went and talked to Nihal." "How you really just want to be alone here." "That you don't need me at all." "OK, Morn." "I'm sorry." "'A soup is only as good as its ingredients.'" "It something comes from a bad source, nothing can make it better." "This is still just hearsay." "We can talk about it, but none of us were there." "Don't let it upset you." "Just keep your daughter far away from that woman." "May God protect us all from gossip." " Amen." " Amen." "I'm 50 years' old and I'm still afraid of being seeing going into the wrong house." "My God, they're still coming and going." "Look at all of them packed in there." "You know how my mother likes guests." "I can't drink that, girl." " Where are your pills?" " Under the couch." "Even that crippled lady is over there." "Check up there." "They just don't stop coming over there." "Who knows?" "They just keep coming by." " Which ones?" " Never mind." "My son will bring more when he comes." "But no harm in my getting you some, too." "He'll get it." "I'm going." "Do you need anything else?" "No, just run along." "Take care." "Whats wrong with that house?" "My God, they just keep coming." "Mom, what are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "Come, Nesrin." "Wash your hands and face." "Do your ablution and prayers." "You'll see how well you'll work." "I'm going to get medicine for Habibaba." "You go upstairs and work." "I'll get her medicine." "I was going out anyway for a walk." "Then wait two minutes." "I'll come with you." "What's wrong with you?" "I said I'm just going for a walk." "Whats wrong with that?" " I know where you're going." " Where am I going?" "Over to that Emine's house." "What about Emine?" "Nuriye's been gossiping to you again, hasn't she?" "If only she was the only one." "But Selvet says the same thing." "They all work together in the fields." "Emine was fired for prostitution." "Morn, what are you talking about?" "If I'd known, I would have kept you away from them." "They said the same thing about her mother." "When you used to play together, we never said anything." "Who knows what went on over there." "I won't visit anyone." "I'll just get some fresh air." "Why would he give me hope if he's marrying someone else?" "He really made me dream of something better." "'Take your kids', he said." "'And we'll run away together.'" "'I'll rescue you from all this suffering'." "Then he did what his mother wanted and got engaged to someone else." "Have you got a cigarette?" "That's enough, Emine." "Don't get so upset over it." "It's not enough." "How can I get over this?" "I'm sick of planning my escape over and over." "I keep getting ready, then I can't." "And what will she do without me?" "She won't survive without someone feeding her and changing her." "I'd better be going." "OK." "I'll show you out." "Thank you and God bless you." "Let me kiss your hand, Granny Dudu." "Good evening, ma'am." "Come over here." "Come on." "Come here." "Come on." "Sit down." "To you?" "No." "Sweetheart, I've got work to do here." "Now you call me with this?" "I said I can't come." "What did she say?" "Don't mind her." "Mom?" "I think a mouse just walked over my foot." "I've got to go, sweetheart." "Are you all right?" "I'm OK." "We should really leave this house before something bad happens." "So go, Mother." "Who's stopping you?" "How nice of you, Nesrin." "If you want me gone, why don't you just say it?" "Instead you're so sneaky about it." "For God's sake, what are you talking about?" "How many times did we talk about this?" "You don't listen to me, then you say I'm being sneaky." "Can you please turn on your cell phone's light?" "I'm looking for candles." "'Oh, be gentle with Morn." "She's so sensitive.'" "I say to myself every single day." "You tell people you're here for me." "That's bullshit." "You're just escaping from Dad." "Who are you fooling?" "I called Nihal." "I begged her to take you." "Just to get you away from me so I can finish my fucking book." "You know what she said?" "'I'm having kitchen tiles replaced." "I can't deal with Mom right now.'" "All you do is have people over." "You fill the house with women." "Just making noise and spreading dirty gossip." "'Don't wear that.'" "'Don't sit like that.'" "'Don't stay out late.' Accept it already!" "This is the daughter you raised." "Childhood and adolescence are over." "Deal with it." "Would you move, please?" "I'm going to lock the door." "Fuck your door." "How could you tell everyone about my private life?" "Why should anyone care if I can write or not?" "Why did that freak of a woman call me over to spit on my hand?" "All right, Nesrin." "Get my ticket." "Tomorrow I'm leaving." "Mom?" "How could I know it would end up like this?" "I just wanted to be a good mother to my daughter." "I just tried to find someone who could free your hands to write." "Morn, don't cry." "Mom, please stop." "Mother, enough." "Look at yourself." "Look at me." "Enough!" "Mom, enough." "Please, God." "Please don't cry." "Forgive me." "Nesrin, I was feeling so bad." "I was so bad in Ankara." "I know, Mom." "Morn, stop already." "Mom, come on." "I know you were bad." "I know." "I don't help you enough, I know." "Oh, Nesrin." "I wish I could help you." "And I wasn't there for you." "Mom, for God's sake." "Stop already." "We can work it out but now is not the time." "We'll get together later, and work it all out." "We'll talk about it all." "OK?" "OK?" "OK." "Morn, don't do that." "Come on." "Forgive me, Nesrin." "I'm sorry." "I don't want to hurt you, but I have to finish this book." "Finish it, my child." "But with you here I just can't." "You haven't done anything wrong, it's just not working." "I need to be alone." "Do you understand?" "Do you, Mom?" "Let's do something." "Just for a little while." "I'm asking you." "My girl, I know they really hurt you." "Don't worry." "That's over." "I'm OK now." "I'm good." "It was good for me." "Believe me." "It's working out great." "But you hurt your father." "You know you made him sad." "I know." "He thinks I've really screwed up, doesn't he?" "That's OK." "As long as you're happy." "I'm finally going to be the person I want to be." "Write your book." "Show what you can do." "That's too much." "Grandma's fish story..." "How she made us laugh." "Don't do that." "They actually put me in a tripe sack as a baby." "What's a tripe sack?" "A cow's stomach." "Come on!" "Seriously?" "They'd wrap babies in tripe sacks." "If it fought its way out, then OK." " And if not?" " Then it's all over." " What?" " Really." "Come on." "Is that for real?" " Why'd they do that?" " Why not?" "Oh, my poor mother." "What's a widow with seven children to do?" "Look how she's made us laugh." "My God." "What was she supposed to do all alone with seven kids?" "Seven orphans." "You don't understand anything, but then it hurts later." "You always feel inferior." "Even after I became a teacher it always stayed with me." "Especially at school." "I'd just arrived from a village." "I didn't know how to behave like the other teachers." "In the teachers' room I just hid in the comer." "I couldn't fit in with them at all." "They always gave me the worst students." "That's how it is." "I couldn't make any friends." "You never miss a chance at self-pity." "I remember you had friends." "There was that gym teacher." "I can't remember his name." "The one with the bushy blond mustache." "He used to walk us to the bus stop." "He was your friend, I remember." "There was that guy, right?" "Yes." "Come on, let's sleep." "Mom?" "Mom?" "What?" "What is it, Mom?" "What's what?" "Look at me." "What's this?" "What's going on with you?" "What is it, Nesrin?" "'What is it, Nesrin?" "'" "What's going on with you?" "Sit up already." "Let's hear it." "There's nothing to tell." "Oh, Nesrin." "This is so nice." "When we can chat together as mother and daughter." "I've got nothing to tell." "I was married at 18." "And you were in my arms at 20." "I never lived my youth." "Couldn't he just once say a kind word to me?" "Don't think I didn't want you." "I never once thought that." "You're all I live for." "You and your sister." "It makes me so happy to be talking like this." "Like friends." "I always wanting something like a friendship between us." "Oh, my dear one." "Now you tell me something." "Tell me about your book." "Is there anything in there from your real life?" "Any social messages for young people?" "Why are you laughing?" "What?" "Always the school teacher." "What can I do?" "I'm a teacher." "Come on, tell me." "It's basically a light book." "No messages for young people." "But I'm trying to do something deeper with it." "It's a love story." "There's a female physiatrist." "She's happily married with a son." "Then she falls in love with a dangerous patient." "Real passion." "They even escape together." "Then they get caught." "He gets sent back to the asylum, and she goes back to her family." "But she can't forget him." "She makes a plan to reunite with him." "While putting her son to bed one night hoping to be admitted to the same asylum she strangles her little boy." "Mom?" "Oh, come on." "They're telling me, 'Stay out of it.'" "The most important thing is your sanity, Nesrin." " What are you saying?" " Be careful, my child." "What are you talking about?" "Nobody is talking to you." "Those voices are in your head." "How many times have we talked about this?" "People will think you're crazy." "Stop with that." "But how can it be?" "They said, 'Call Nuriye, call Nuriye.'" "Nuriye was here and I was in Ankara." "And when I called, you'd had an accident." "Mother, you're a good person." "You've got a pure heart." "You've got intuition." "But that's all it is." "But if you keep saying, 'They're telling me...' it's just weird, for God's sake." "I wish it was like that." "They warn us, my girl." "And they warned me when you secretly aborted your child." "They told me you had sinned." "They said you'd lose your home." "God forbid." "If I hadn't prayed, you'd be working the street." "It was a terrible sin." "Your husband was right." "What man could accept a woman like that?" "You aren't like that, Nesrin." "You aren't that woman." "First you should forgive yourself." "Commit yourself to God." "Then God will forgive you." "Sweetie, are you OK?" "Do you need anything?" "No." "Thanks, Morn." "Are you OK?" "I'm going to check on the car." "If you want, we can go together." "Very well." "Sorry, I left the door open." "Mr. Huseyin?" "Mr. Huseyin?" "Boss!" "I'm coming." "It's still just the same." "No, it's all fixed and ready to go." "Is everything fixed?" "All finished." "I changed the radiator." "Then I changed the filter and this whole section." "Right now it's working." "So I can take it." "That's right." "What do I owe?" "1,540 liras." "What?" "1,540 liras." "What costs so much?" "I replaced the filter, the turn signals and the radiator." "OK, OK, I understand." "Can I pay with a credit card?" "Why don't you put your hat on?" "I'm not cold." "Put it on." "It's cold out." "Careful." "Lets go this way and get your bus ticket." "It's late." "We can get it tomorrow." "Let's go to the mosque and pray together." "You'll feel much better." "You go alone if you want." "How will I get home alone?" "Then do your prayers at home." "Here, drink your water." "...I just received 7 million, and I don't have any debt." "So you don't have to wait a year, you can sacrifice an animal." "So he shouldn't have any debts?" "I took a loan to buy a car." "Yes." "But I've got an income from a rental." "Am I required to slaughter an animal this holiday?" " But you have debts." " Yes." "She has debts." "According to our religion, you don't have to." "You're free to slaughter an animal,..." ""but you aren't required to." "Look, our religion, our beloved prophet says..." "'If you can sacrifice an animal and don't... 'forget about coming to the mosque.'" "Mom, where's the remote?" "Around here somewhere." "Now think about that." "That's quite a statement." "And just what is understood by that?" "Now you're going to say your mother is making things up again." "I'd just come back from my pilgrimage." "I was pure and clean." "My neighbours came to congratulate me." "One of them looked ill." "Something wasn't right." "Her skin was a strange tone." "Brown but not brown." "Dark." "I thought to myself, 'My God, why is she like that?" "'" "She had taken it from behind." "You know that's a grave sin." "Fucking work, you bitch." "Get to work." "Work, you fucking cunt!" "Nesrin?" "Yes, Mother'?" "Aren't you cold sitting there?" "I'm just resting a bit." "There's hot water on the stove." "Have a shower." "You'll feel better." "That's OK, Mother." "Thank you." "Do a full-body ablution." "Get God's blessings going into the Friday prayers." "I told you I'm fine, Mother." "As you wish." "Nuriye, you've really chosen a good sheep." "If you could find one like that for us." " Sorry for the trouble." " No problem." " See you." " Thanks." "Nesrin?" "Come join my prayer." "It'll be the last." "Please, don't hurt me." "Come over here." "Let's face the Qibla together." "Come sit beside me." "Come." "That's all right, too." "In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful." "Enough." "That's enough, Mom." "My girl." "Enough." "Forgive me." "I know, I know." "They also told me about this." "They said, 'She hasn't been able to write since that day.'" "You remember that night you told me about your book?" "Later when I was praying, God forbid..." "They said, 'She's going crazy.'" "I was so scared." "I prayed at your computer." "I said, 'Lord...'" "'Allow her to write only if it's beneficial.'" "'And keep her from anything that is not beneficial.'" "And from that day forward you couldn't write anything." "Oh, please forgive me." "If you can't write because of me then get me a ticket." "I'll go." "Or else it will be my fault." "Where are you going by yourself, girl?" "Don't go around by yourself." "Your parents will worry." "Do you like it here?" "What?" "Do you like it here?" "Yes, I like it here." "Are you upset about something?" " Do I look upset?" " Yes." "No, I'm not upset about anything."