"Hold him there." "Hold him there!" "Hey!" "Henry, we've got a bolter!" "Henry, Tucker, go get him!" "Get down, hold him!" "Hold him!" "Hold him!" "Good boy, get down." "Get down!" "Hold him." "That's it." "Good on ya, boy." "Come on, Henry!" "Henry had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Dudley went," "Henry was sure to go." "Mrs. Mac?" "They're coming down for lunch soon." "Coming down, Henry!" "Dudley?" "Dudley, where are you, boy?" "Dudley?" "Dudley?" "Dudley?" "Dudley?" "Come out of there, Dudley." "Ahh!" "Ah!" "Boys!" "Angus, pull your head in!" " Henry?" "Boys." "It's your father." "There's been an accident." "City boy, eh?" " No, I grew up on a farm." " Oh, me too." " Oh." " You all right, my friend?" " Need some fresh air?" " Close it." "Close it!" "Dr. Carey's office." "It's Henry Oldfield." "I need to speak with her." "She's in a session right now." "Can I have her call you?" "Please, please." "Nothing like it, eh?" "God's green earth." ""All creatures great and small."" "There we go." " Okay." " This way." "This isn't gonna be like the salmon farm, is it, Grant?" "Hey, those fish died free." " Come on, possum." " Shh shh." "What's that?" "Angus fucking Oldfield." "You'll wait for me, right?" "It's your money." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Unless you fancy nostrils in the back of your head," "I'd not be moving if I were you." "Mrs. Mac." "Bugger me days!" "Henry!" "Oh!" "Oh." "Oh don't worry." " I haven't shot anyone since Christmas." "Oh, just wait until your brother sees you." "Yeah." "The Merino, the Romney, the Drysdale-- these names are whispered in the winds that caress the rugged hills." "These names are shared in corners of the farmyard, and these are the names the young men of the land recite as they take themselves off at night." "But in the future, they will whisper just one name... the Oldfield." "Now you take it down and lead it round in front of the guests." "That's it." "Stop so they can touch it, slap a flank, feel the wool." "I'll take the other microphone, give it to anyone else who... has a question." "Get a prospectus on every seat, then go up the hill and get the animal." "What are you doing here?" "Lawyers have this under control, don't they?" "What am I doing here?" "Our family's been here for over 100 years." "Our father was born here." "Our mother died giving birth to me here." "This is where I spent the first 10 years of my life." "And my therapist said I should come." "Therapy." " So you're still funny about the sheep." " It's not about the sheep." "It's about other issues I need to resolve." "Okay." "Angus." "Go inside." "I'll cut you a check." "That must be the laboratory." "Careful." "There you go." " Okay." " Astrid Rush." "Who'd hire her after the thing with the leeches?" " You're end?" " Come and give a hand here." "Careful!" "Grant!" " Up, up more..." " Shit." "Yeah, baby, yeah!" " Go after him!" "Oi!" " Whooo!" " Hey wait!" "They'll never catch us." "They're meat eaters." "Okay." " What was one, Grant?" " What?" "Um, get in unobserved." "Right." "And what was two?" " Collect visual evidence." " Right." "Three?" " Get out unobserved?" " Yeah." "And four?" "Blow this whole fucking game wide open;" "Take the bastard under and go down in history as the two people with enough balls to save this country from genetically- engineered devastation!" "No, Grant." "Four was a have a meeting about what to do next." "This is evidence, okay?" "It's evidence." "Actually, that's probably highly-toxic genetic material." "Fuckin' A!" "Fuckin' A. And it's mine." "Or, it's ours." "You and me, baby, all the way." "Yeah, Grant." "About the you and me bit..." "Now I wonder if our relationship hasn't kind of got" "Shh!" "They're in here somewhere." " Go!" " Grant, wait." "There he goes!" "Oi!" " Whoa!" "Over there!" "Where is he?" " Bugger!" " Oh fuck." "Right." "That's for me." "And that's for you." "It'll buy you a lot of therapy." "Well, there's not much around here in the way of your cappuccino culture, but I'm sure Mrs. Mac will do you a cup of tea and an Anzac biscuit for the road." "That's it, then." "You got rid of all Dad's things." "Living in the past-- that's what's wrong with these bloody farmers." "You're now the owner of the biggest farm in the district." "What does that make you?" "Up here's where the smart farming's done these days, Henry." "Is that what all that outside's in aid of?" "People are interested in what I'm doing here, Henry." "It's a whole new approach to farming." "It's better for the animals, better for the farmers, better for the consumer." "It's an exciting time to be in agricultural sciences." "And a profitable one." "More tea, Henry?" "I think three's enough." "I should get going." "That's a pity." "You'll miss my rabbit pie." "I'm making watercress for the Japanese." "Look, chopsticks." "He's quite the lord of the manor now, isn't he?" "Uh..." "Angus was throwing this away." "I know your father would have wanted you to have it." "The Golden Shears." "Best shearer in the country three years running." "Your father said you were a natural too." "I" " I really can't see it on my coffee table." "You got what you came for then?" "Angus has got his deal." "Guess I'm done here." "I'm having the farm manager take you for a run up to the top." "But I haven't been up there since the accident." "I know." "That's why you're going." "Oh, here he is now." " Kia ora, Auntie." " Tucker." "Flash threads, bro." "So you a model now or something?" "I'm doing I.T. Internet stuff." "Oh." "Nude modeling." "And you're manager now?" "Well, your brother's hardly young farmer of the year, is he?" "Angus seems to think he's got a handle on things." "The only thing he's got a handle on is his" "Okay, farm boy, let's see your stuff." "Sure." "Okay." "Come on." "Yah!" "What happened to you, darling?" "Give us a hand, bro!" "I" " I just need to make a phone call." "Jesus, man." "Just gonna shove her back over the fence." "Hey!" " Hands up?" " Hands up!" "It's okay." "It's okay." "I'll protect you." "Grant!" "Grant?" "Is this gonna take long?" "Because I've got a taxi waiting." "If you fascists have hurt him," "I will organize the biggest sit-in this farm has ever seen." "Look, we don't know where your friend is, okay?" " Maybe my brother could help?" " Brother?" "Angus Oldfield." "I should have known you were an Oldfield." "I can see it in your aura." "I think that was just something he stepped in back there, eh?" " No, you have a very selfish aura." " What?" "How would you like a taste of what you're dishing out?" "Safety's on." " What?" " The safety's on." "Just... yeah, on the other side." "Back a bit." "And down." "Back and down." "Up." "Here here, here." "Yeah." "There we go, here." "Yeah, right." "...they were like, looking around at us and" "What about me?" "Can we give you a ride somewhere?" "Maybe to the car so I can, um..." "Organize your sit-in?" "Wait for my-- for Grant." "I'm Henry, this is Tucker." "What's your name?" " Experience." " Has been so far." "So why were you going to shoot me, Experience?" "Because this farm subjects innocent animals to cruel and sadistic torture." "Because" "Smoke." " You coming?" " Um..." "Mike?" "Mike!" "Oh my God." "What?" "The feng shui in this room is terrible." "Anyone there?" "Mike?" "Oh God." "Jesus, man, it's not gonna bite." " What's it doing?" " What is wrong with you?" " Ovinophobia, my therapist calls it." " What's that?" "Just a completely unfounded and irrational fear that one day this is gonna happen!" "Well, this happens when you run the most reckless genetic engineering program in the southern hemisphere." " Who engineered that?" " Your brother." "Mike." "Come on then, muttonchops!" "Bugger me." " Shoot it again!" "That'll give you something to talk to your therapist about." "Oh, I'm going to be sick!" "Oh shit." "Oh shit." "Kia ora." "Kia ora, kia ora." "Rattle your dags, Henry!" "There we go." "Good girls." "They're fine." "You get Henry." "I'll start the car." "God, your chi is in shambles." "Huh?" "Take a deep breath." "You need to ground yourself." "You're a tree." "Come on." "A tree." "Your taproot extends down into the earth." "My-- my what?" "That's your base chakra." "Feel the energy drawing out of the soil." "Can you feel it?" "Yeah." " Really?" " Yeah." "Come on, Henry." "The energy flows up into your navel chakra, your solar plexus chakra, into your heart chakra." "It spreads to your branches, your twigs, your leaves." "You are a mighty kauri commanding the forest." "Look with your third eye." "Totally relaxed." "Totally relaxed." " Get on the fucking truck!" " Nearly there, nearly there." "Go!" "Go go go!" "Watch out for the sheep!" "Shoot!" "Sorry." " What the hell's he doing?" "Chainsaw." "Is it turned on?" " Prime it, prime it!" " What?" "The pump thing." "Fuck!" "Oi, Henry!" " Are you okay?" " If it weren't for my gumboot..." "Who's driving?" " Jump!" " What?" "Jump off, now!" "Jump off!" "Ah!" "Oh, shit." "Wow, what a beautiful view." " This is, uh, where" " I know." "This is what?" "Ooh, long way down." "I wouldn't want to fall off there." "This is where my father fell to his death." "Oh." "Sorry... to hear that." "Oh, a sheep!" "Is that a good one or a bad one?" "Oh, definitely bad." "That's not funny." "Animal flatulence is responsible for almost half the world's greenhouse gas emissions." "It's pure methane." "The Kyoto Protocol" "Kyahhh!" "What do we do?" "Well, reducing carbon emission from industries" "No, what do we do about raising the alarm?" "My phone... is in the truck." "Tucker, what do you think?" "Hoof it for the house." "Tell his lordship what's going on." "Is it far?" "It's rough terrain, open paddocks, hot day, no cover." "Yeah, I'd say it's pretty far." "With about 50,000 sheep in between." "Then what?" "Then I get as far away from here as I can." "You're still leaving?" "I'm especially leaving." "Oh, what if the sheep get down there before us?" "Then Angus is gonna have some unexpected visitors." "Henry." "Well?" "No sign of him." "The others have gone out into the paddocks." "You cannot make a cup of tea in this country without some do-gooder starting a petition to have you do it their way." "You help me in the lab." "And you, get rid of that stuff." "Bloody animals." "You and your-- your bloody 4-wheel drives." "Think you own the road!" "I do, actually." "Angus Oldfield." "What hole did you crawl out of?" "WEKA." "The Whole Earth Kollective Aotearoa." "I know all about your Frankensheep!" "Mother Nature spent millions of years making sheep." "She doesn't need your help!" "Don't talk to me about nature." "Man made sheep what they are today, and I'm making them what they'll be tomorrow." "If I was a sheep, I wouldn't be anywhere near you!" "If you were a sheep, I'd have you ground up for dog food, you little worm." "Now get the fuck off my land." " Ahh!" "They might come from anywhere." "And they might not." "Calm down, bro." "So this guy you're looking for, is he your boyfriend?" " My boyfriend?" " Yeah." " Is he your boyfriend?" " Grant's part of our collective." "We're a non-profit cooperative that shares information and resources about environmental issues." "So what were you and your boyfriend doing here today?" "We keep hearing about some cowboy lab that's flushing every animal research guideline down the toilet." "Scum like Astrid Rush and your brother need to answer to somebody sometime." "For someone who likes animals, you don't like people very much, do you?" "I would have thought that you of all people would appreciate efforts to deconstruct the colonialist paternalistic agrarian hierarchy that disenfranchises the Tangata Whenua and erodes the natural resources of Aotearoa." "Learn all that at university, did ya, before you dropped out?" "I didn't drop out, thank you." "I just missed exams while we were occupying a poultry farm." "Anyway, that's none of your business." " Are you okay?" "Rescue Remedy?" "I don't need rescuing." "I need Dettol and a sticking plaster." "No thanks." "Fine, suit yourself." "Wait, we should stick together." "Tucker, I'm sorry." "It's my fault you got bitten." "Don't worry." "It'll be-- oh fuck!" "I'll get a tetanus shot when we get back." " Clear it right up." " But the sheep did that." "Then I'll get the vet to have a look at it." "It'll be fine." "Oh God." "Here they come." " Don't wait for me!" " I'm not leaving you behind." " What about the sheep?" " Well, fuck the sheep!" "No time for that, bro!" "Go go go!" " In here." " Not in there." "Why not?" "It's been here forever." "It's empty." " No it's not, bro." " This is your brother's laboratory." "You got a better idea?" "Go home." "Get, go on!" " Come on." "Did you know about this?" "I just thought they were playing with sperm or something." "Oh God." "Stand back!" "Do it." "Tucker?" "Jesus, Henry, are you gonna shoot me if I end up like that?" " You're trespassing." " Taihoa, Bo Peep." "What is this?" "I told you." "agricultural science." "This isn't science." "The sheep are revolting." "Aren't they?" " Now, Henry..." " Hey hey." "I'll take that as your resignation." "Angus, what would Dad say about all this?" "He wouldn't say anything." "He'd be knee-deep in mud with his hand up a sheep's ass." "Your father was 10 times the farmer you are." "My father fell off a cliff chasing a wool-blind ewe." "Angus, there's something wrong with the sheep." "They attacked us." "Oh nonsense." "Your brother's clearly one of these lunatic greenies." "Tucker, show them your foot." "Foot?" "Henry, I simply won't allow you to disrupt things today." "What are you going to do about it, eh?" "Whatever I have to." "Angus, are you nuts?" "There's a lot riding on this, Henry." "I told you, it's gonna be very profitable." "Henry, get out of here." "Do something!" "Get out of here!" " What?" " Move your ass!" " Henry, come on!" "Stop!" "This way!" "In there!" "Oh, what's down here?" "Look at them, Angus!" "Look at you." "The fifth generation farmer's son who's scared of a few sheep." "You do need therapy." "Ah!" "There's no deal, Angus." "We have a contract, Henry." "It's done." "Not with all this going on." " Ah!" " Henry!" "Help me!" "Help me, Angus!" "Angus!" "I'm your brother!" "That's the thing about farms, Henry, accidents happen." " Let me go." " No." "No." "Oh my God!" " Are you okay?" " I'll never be okay ever again." " What's that?" " Geranium-- aroma therapy for uplift and hormonal balance." "Do your hormones really need balancing?" "Considering I've been attacked by genetically- engineered monsters, jumped off a moving vehicle, been chased across a paddock, dragged into a torture chamber, pulled into a mountain of rotting flesh-- yes, my hormones need fucking balancing." " Working yet?" " Uplifting at any moment." " Where are you going?" " There are caves near the woolshed." "If this is part of the same system, we can walk right under the sheep." "Right." "All he had to do was leave." "Why wouldn't he do that?" "What happened to those idiots I sent to collect you?" "That looks..." "anomalous." "What it looks like is the spontaneous cellular transferral we've been trying to achieve for months." "Or possibly not so spontaneous." " What's going on?" " Nothing." "He'll be out for a while." "Where's your brother and that girl?" "Oh, don't worry." "They're gone." "Well, I don't know what they're on about." "The sheep?" "Really." "There's too many people running around here today." "One of those greenies bit me on my way up the hill." " Bit you?" " Yeah." "Looked like he hadn't bathed for months." "Hm, you may need a shot." "Well." "I want this place secured." "Yeah, I have something I need to observe here, but I'll be down presently." "No." "Stay here." "Stay here?" "I need to present my work." "Look, the last thing I need is someone with your reputation prancing about the place." "Oh, my reputation didn't seem to bother you when you needed someone to kick-start this venture." "Or when you wanted to pursue some personal interests." "I was just coming up with solutions that you hadn't thought of." "Now I'll send someone up for the animal." "You lock this place down and stay out of the way." "What about that shot?" "Put a plaster on it." "I'm sure you'll be fine." "The amount of bad karma your brother's generating, he'll probably come back as a sheep." "I don't want to think about what Angus has been doing." "Using your father's legacy as a testing ground for vile experiments on animals." "Experience." "What was all that about a deal?" "Huh?" "What are you here for today?" "I sold him my share of the farm." "I thought if I could come back here and resolve things with him, I could move on." "But these are your roots." "There's something in here." "There can't be." "Or they'd have to..." " jump!" "Come on!" "Shit!" "I have to get out of here!" " Down here." " No." "No way." "If it's a way out, we're there." "If it's not, we're there forever." "You go first!" "It shouldn't be too far." "Keep moving." "I can't." "You can." "Look, you're a tree." " A tree." " Feel your roots" " in the ground." "Feel your, um..." " Chakra." "...chakra..." " My base chakra." "...drawing energy from the ground." "Okay, I feel it." "There." "You're relaxed." "I'm relaxed." " Don't get too relaxed." "Go!" "Go!" " Hurry up!" " I'm hurrying!" " Don't stop!" " It's opening up!" "I'm stuck!" "I was wrong about your aura." "Really?" "I said it was selfish, but... now I think it was something you stepped in." "This way." ""Address To A Haggis:" "Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face," "Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!" "Aboon them a' ye take your place," "Painch tripe or thairm."" " Oh hello, dear." "Did you see Henry up the hill?" "Uh, no." "No, I think he's gone." "Oh?" "Really?" "I thought he would have at least said goodbye." "Well... you can't tell what Henry will do, can you?" "It's all his bloody fault." "He had his money-- good money." "My money." "That little baaa-stard." "Up here." "This is how I remember it." "It's beautiful." "We'd better hurry." "What's that noise?" "Somebody shearing." "Hello?" "Oh God, no." "Grant?" " Oh!" "What's happened to you?" "Grant, it's me-- Experience." " Hey!" "Henry!" " This way!" "Come on!" "Round here." " He's coming!" " Come on." "Oh shit!" "Grant, what's that on your face?" "Is that blood?" "Have you been eating meat, Grant?" "Was it even organic?" "So, that's your boyfriend?" "I knew you liked animals, but I didn't think you..." "He's not my boyfriend." "Something must have bitten him." "You mean..." "like Tucker?" "The amniotic fluid should work as an attenuated vaccine on the mutated cells." "What's going on?" " Tell me how you feel?" " Sore." "Itchy." "My-- my skin feels really tight." " Go on." "No no no no no no no no." "No, wait." "All right, thanks very much." "Oh hello." "Thanks for coming." "Konnichiwa." "We're about to kick off." "There's my girl." "Oh shit!" "Angus won't be selling much sheep if he turns into one, will he?" "He might need that shot after all." "You're a very lucky young man, to be witness to a new scientific frontier." "I have a small errand to attend to, and then..." "I think we might try and replicate the effect on you with some of these cultures I have." "In the meantime, you rest up." "Konnichiwa, güten tag, kia ora, g'day." "This land was carved from virgin bush by my great-great grandfather more than... 100 years ago." "My family have sowed their seed here since that time." "But now..." "I have a dream for the future-  a dream of sheep." "Oh." "The Merino, the Romney, the Drysdale." "Excuse me." "It's not far." "It's just a quick trip through the trees." "These names are shared in corners of the farm" "These-- these names are..." " names..." "Well, time to meet the star of our show, I suppose." "I give you the Oldfield." "It's beautiful." " Quiet down." "Ah, beautiful." "Quiet now." "Quiet, my pretty." "Oh no." "Perhaps it won't be that bad." "Easy!" "Easy!" "Easy!" "Oh!" ""Lo, on Mount Zion stood the lamb, and with him, 144,000."" "But I'm a vegetarian!" "Was, was, was!" ""lt is these who follow the lamb wherever he goes, for they are spotless!"" " Help me!" "Help me!" " Ew!" "Get off!" "Help me!" "Take me up, O Lord!" "Take me..." "Henry!" "Just in time for dinner!" " Oh my Lord!" "Oh!" "Yeah!" "Easy, easy." "That's my girl." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "There, it's" " I know." "It's okay, yes." "I know, it's okay." "Let's make that phone call." "I think MAF, then WEKA." "Or WEKA then MAF." "Someone must have one of the other phones off the hook." " Who else is in the" " Your boyfriend's back." " Jesus, Grant." " Henry!" " Ow!" "My shotgun's in the pantry!" "Many's the meal I've made of wethers like you." " You don't scare me." " What is that?" " My haggis!" "Shells!" "Shells!" "No!" "What did you do?" "Ling gui ba fa." " Huh?" " Acupuncture point." "Causes temporary paralysis." "Or coma if I did it wrong." "Did you?" "He fell down, didn't he?" "We're safe." "We're trapped." "Let's make that call." "Where's the other phone?" "Uh, Angus's study." " Locked!" " Here we are." "You're alive." "I pulled it from the wall." "What?" "I thought, just keep a lid on things till it all blows over." "Business community don't receive this kind of situation very well." "They probably won't receive being eaten very well eith" "What are you doing in here?" "You wouldn't understand." "I understand you've got a pretty fucked up idea of animal husbandry." "I'm taking back the farm." "Ah." "Golden boy thinks he can do better, does he?" "You wouldn't know where to start." "Jeez, Angus, I couldn't do any worse than you." "No, wait." "It's... one of us." "It's family." "What?" "That's how we made the advances-- human DNA." "Mine." "Ours." "You fucker." "Well, it was more of a sperm sample really." "You wanker!" "Necessity's the mother of invention." "You've been bitten." "It's nothing." "Just some hippy." "You'll become one of them!" " A hippy?" " No, Angus, one of them." "Only worse." "What are you gonna do, Henry?" "Kill me?" " I'm your brother." "They're almost in!" "Upstairs, children!" "Well?" "The sheep are breaking in." "They'll tear you to pieces." "Oh, I don't think so." "Henry, hurry!" "Goodbye, Angus." "Henry!" "Come on, now!" "There's another fire escape around the back." "We can take Mrs. Mac's car to town." "Look." "Now where does he think he's going?" "The barn." "His plane." "He can't leave if he's contaminated." "It could affect the whole country." "You're hurt, dear." "Grant." "We don't know what will happen." " We've seen what happens!" " Stay calm." "You're a tree." "I'm not a tree!" "I'm a fucking sheep." "No, you're a man." "And your father'd be proud of you." "Come on." "You two go." "I'm staying here." "What are you gonna do?" "I'm gonna stop Angus." "If you see me again, you might have to" "No." "I still smell, right?" "No, that's just your aura." "How will you get across the lawn?" "You don't have a hoof like Angus, they'll tear you to bits." "I'll blend in." "I am a sheep." "I am a sheep." "I am a sheep." "Wait." "You go to town." "Show me how to use this and I'll stay here." "Have you ever fired a gun before, dear?" "Well... not as such." "Aim and squeeze, dearie." "That's all there is to it." "Besides..." "I'll talk you through it." "You know, this hurts me more than it hurts you." "We'll make a farm girl out of you yet." "Come on." "Come on, darling." "Angus?" "Stop, Angus!" "Look!" "We could have run the farm together, if you hadn't ruined everything!" "If you hadn't tried to kill me!" "Now it has to end." "What?" "Come in." " Speak up." "Hold him, boy." "Hold him." "Hold him, boy." "Get down." "Get down." "Hold him." "Hold him, boy." "What?" "Tucker." "You're okay." "Oh!" "What is that?" "Just a little something I picked up in the lab." "Should clear up your worms." "Fix your fly strike too." "Anyway, pull your finger out." "We've got work to do." "Hold 'em, Dice." "Hold 'em." "Good dog." "How much of that stuff is there?" "Not enough for all of them." "Jeez!" "Angus, it's over." "No, this is just the beginning." "Come back!" "My babies." "Have me again." "Methane." "Get in behind!" "Last one." "There's a nice bit of wool on that, actually." " Reckon we should hang onto this one?" " He's a bit toey, but..." "Could make good eating." "This is for you." "What do you reckon, boss?" "Organic farming?" "Nothing but trouble, this modern stuff." "Better just to stick with the way we've always done things, eh?" "I've eaten a rabbit." "Blanket, dear?" "Let's see how we go, eh?" "Snack?" " What are they?" " Mountain oysters." "Well, I do eat a bit of seafood." "No." "Mm, it's good." "Of course it is, dear." "You know you're eating sheep's balls, don't you?" "Don't waste it." "They'll grow on you." "What is happening here?" "No seriously, you could have an organic compost heap." "Or a worm farm."