"(CHOIR SINGING SILENT NIGHT)" "WOMAN:" "Do you know the speech?" "I know the gist of it." "You memorize entire homilies." "Homilies are poetry, a plea before the city council is demeaning." "Esteemed councilmen, in a few days," "St. Nicholas Church will be torn down." "I have come before you for the fourth time to beg for your condescension." "Consideration." "Which you have never shown before." "To block the sale of the church." "Because we're not just losing a building." "We're losing a sacrament." "The communion with our neighbors is our mass." "Not bad, huh?" "(GASPS)" "WOMAN:" "Help!" "Somebody help!" "Somebody, please." "(GRUNTING)" "Father Paul!" "(CRYING)" "Father Paul." "(PANTING)" "We need an ambulance." "Please send an ambulance." "Hey, Sophie's here, man." "What do I tell her?" "Anything but the truth." "Hey." "(CHUCKLES) Hey." "Thank you so much for coming to my play last night." "Oh..." "Last night was awesome." "(GASPS) Oh, thanks, Parker." "(CHUCKLES) Yeah." "It was like a horror movie." "(GRUFFLY) Attention must be paid." "(STUTTERS)" "I mean, you're not the first person I would think of to play Willy Lowman, but you worked it out." "Yeah." "(GIGGLES) Oh!" "That was the worst night of my life." "Come on, man." "You've been in worse situations." "(MAN SHOUTING)" "(MEN LAUGHING)" "No." "No, that was the worst." "Mmm." "How great were you?" "I mean, they ought to call it Death of a Saleswoman." "What a great commentary on the glass ceiling for women in corporate America." "Nate, I played the part as a man." "Yes." "And brilliantly." "(CHUCKLES)" "Thanks." "I mean, you were..." "Huh?" "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "Hold on." "I have to..." "Hi, Maggie?" "Is everything okay?" "When?" "Who's Maggie?" "Nate's ex wife." "(KNOCK AT DOOR)" "Hey." "If I thought I'd get you to visit I'd have gotten my ribs kicked in a little sooner." "How you doing, Paul?" "I got my shots in." "I popped the first guy in the shoulder before I blacked out." "Yeah." "I know." "I read the police report." "You read the police report." "I do that." "You talk to Maggie?" "Do you think it was a coincidence that you got attacked on your way to beg the city council to save your church?" "No, I don't." "You talk to Maggie a lot?" "When is the sale final on the church?" "Escrow closes Monday, why?" "WOMAN ON PA:" "Code blue, pediatrics." "Code blue." "(CHATTERING)" "I know hospitals are tough for you." "(SIGHS)" "Paul, have you tried legal action?" "I mean, maybe an injunction would..." "With what money?" "I thought it was God's plan for me to save the church, Nate." "I was wrong." "But we're going to have one last mass on Sunday, and I plan to make the most of it." "You should be there." "It's not going to be your last mass, Paul." "Nate, what are you going to do?" "Nate." "I'll just maybe move God's plans along." "PARKER:" "That's St. Nicholas?" "HARDISON:" "Yeah." "Santa Claus has a church?" "It's not Santa Claus." "I know this is not our usual kind of case, I realize." "But before you say anything, Paul is an old friend of mine, and he has helped the poor parishes more than you could ever..." "Nate, Nate, Nate." "We're taking the case." "Oh." "Yeah." "Oh." "Great." "Good." "Oh, all right." "Well, this is obviously a strong arm maneuver that's happened here, get rid of the activist priest and the sale closes on Monday." "Do we know anything about who bought the church?" "The sign outside said it was sold to Kennedy Corp." "Now, Kennedy Corp is a wholly owned subsidiary of STB International, which is the parent company of Acai Diversified, which is a US subsidiary of Kennedy Corp." "That is a lot of trouble to go to for buying an old church." "Yeah." "So, Kennedy Corp, that's obviously the front." "Parker, check all the addresses for the realty companies." "Eliot, Hardison, find the local talent that attacked Paul." "He messed up one of their shoulders, if that helps." "No, no." "I don't do gangs." "Come on." "What?" "What did he..." "Get you out in some fresh air, get off the computer." "I rappel." "Come on!" "Did no one see me rappel?" "I heard about it." "(PRAYING IN LATIN)" "SOPHIE:" "You going to be okay?" "He's an old friend." "I owe him." "You think that we're just going to walk into some random tunnel and find some cholos just all yoked up." "You know?" "(SHUSHING) Hardison." "Yo, homes, let me fix my do-rag." "Just..." "What?" "Listen." "Boys, we don't want any trouble." "All right." "We just want some answers." "How's this answer?" "ELIOT:" "Gentlemen, I'm asking about one of your colleagues." "Somebody who rolled a priest." "Who was it?" "You seeing this, Hardison?" "(STAMMERING) Yeah." "The situation has my attention, yes." "You see, that's why I don't like guns." "They have a specific range of efficacy." "See, most guys make one mistake." "They get too close." "(GROANS)" "Who rolled a priest?" "MAN:" "We didn't beat up no priest." "We're not monsters." "(GROANS)" "Dislocated shoulder's a bitch." "Priest gave him that." "You beat up a priest?" "Do you mind?" "Be my guest." "You got a long penance ahead of you." "Start by answering the man's questions." "Now!" "Who hired you?" "I don't know." "I got a call on my cell with an offer, and I called them back after the job was done." "He paid me." "That's all I know." "I swear." "You got a number?" "Can you do something with that?" "Seven digits." "I could find you on Mars." "Gentlemen, I'll leave you to your internal affairs." "Come on." "How about that, man?" "You see me?" "He was injured." "Well, somebody got to fight the injured." "Shoot." "That's my niche." "HARDISON:" "When I ran a back trace on the gang banger's car it routed through this dude's number from a payphone." "So, we got nothing." "Now, hold on." "Hold on." "The pay phone is located here." "The Residences at 8th, luxury condos, brought to you by Andrew Grant." "Yeah." "I know this guy." "He built the Meadow Mall on the west side, you know, the one with the monorail." "Now, this guy doesn't happen to own any of the shell companies that bought the church, does he?" "Well, I can't prove that, but let's just put it this way." "Those shell companies have their daddy's lying eyes." "All right." "What do we know about this Grant guy?" "Well, the man's a media whore." "He went through like nine publicists last year alone." "He's cutting the ribbon on this place tomorrow." "Also, Grant survived a helicopter crash last year." "Checked out his pharmacy account." "The man pops anti-anxiety pills like Pez." "Well, publicists are like priests." "You gotta tell them all your secrets, so that's our way in." "The question is how." "What are you thinking?" "This guy beat up a priest, we're not going easy on him." "I got a dozen reporters waiting for me downstairs, and the backdrop for my ribbon cutting is scaffolding?" "It was a miscommunication." "Isn't that what I pay you for, Tomas?" "To communicate?" "Stop screwing up." "Mr. Grant." "Kristi Connelly." "I'm a reporter with The Ledger." "I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions." "Miss Connelly, I don't know how you got up here, but the press conference is down in the lobby." "It starts in 10 minutes." "No, no." "I understand." "I just wondered if I could have a moment of your time." "Where's the foreman?" "GRANT:" "Franco!" "Willy Wonka's here." "Good." "His ride's almost here." "GRANT:" "Okay." "Showtime." "All right." "Did you remember the big scissors this time?" "Did you remember them?" "(PARKER EXCLAIMS)" "Oh, my God." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "So sorry." "Watch where you're going." "I didn't mean to do that." "That's okay." "It's all right." "Just be more careful next time, baby, okay." "God, I'm so sorry." "I'm sorry, man." "What the hell are you doing?" "I had a little tequila last night, I'm sorry about that." "Why don't you focus, Cuervo?" "All right?" "I feel really bad about that." "You know what?" "Feel bad, all right?" "Oh!" "Thanks." "(MEN CHATTERING)" "(YELLS)" "(SOPHIE EXCLAIMS)" "I don't believe it!" "(BOTH PANTING)" "They're fixing up this lift, right?" "There's probably a few bugs to work out." "Unacceptable." "I'm calling the contractor." "Oh, seriously?" "No signal." "(BEEPING)" "(RUMBLING)" "(BOTH SIGH)" "(ELEVATOR CRASHES)" "(LAUGHS)" "Okay." "That's weird." "Yeah." "I'm not crazy about heights." "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "Or enclosed spaces." "What is that you just took?" "Xanax." "GRANT ON RADIO:" "For my nerves." "Actually, caffeine with a dash of dextroamphetamine." "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "God, are you getting any air at all?" "Down there I swear..." "God, I think they've sucked all the oxygen out of here to torture me." "It's like the witch's oven in Hansel and Gretel or something." "Just roasting us like a turkey." "You gave him speed?" "He beat up a priest." "(SCREAMING) Get me out of here!" "For God's sake." "Can anybody hear me?" "I'm going to fire every one of you, every single one of you." "You are so fired!" "(WHEEZING)" "Mr. Grant." "Is anybody even listening?" "Mr. Grant, the press." "They're still down there." "We've only been up here for half an hour." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." "They're going to have a field day with me." "I mean, look..." "Send us home." "See?" "(STAMMERING) No, no, no." "I can't." "I can't." "You gotta stand up and pick me up." "Yes." "Yes, trust me." "Come on." "What?" "What?" "Trust me." "Trust me and pick me up." "GRANT:" "Someone get me out of this thing!" "(CHATTERING)" "Someone get these doors open." "Thank God." "Oh, thank God." "She fainted." "She fainted." "Move out of the way, would you?" "This woman needs medical attention." "Okay." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "You'll be okay." "Stay with me, sweetheart." "Stay with me." "Get some..." "Would you get..." "Okay." "Okay, sweetheart." "Okay." "You'll be okay." "Ms. Connelly, you just got yourself an interview." "Okay, back off." "No more pictures, okay?" "So, what would you say has been the key to your..." "Oh, thanks." "Meteoric rise?" "An appetite for risk, hard work, bit of luck here and there?" "This interview is over." "I'm sorry?" "Kristi, how did you know what to do in there?" "(CHUCKLES) Oh, that." "I'm a reporter." "You have to understand reporters." "We're lazy by nature." "All we want is a story, a narrative, and if you don't like the story they're writing, just give them a new one." "They'll thank you for it." "I don't want you to do a story on me." "I don't understand." "I want you to make sure everyone else is doing a story on me." "I saw the way you handled the press back there." "I want you to be my new publicist." "I don't know what to say except, when can I start?" "(LAUGHS)" "How about tomorrow?" "Of course, if I'm going to be your publicist, Andy," "I'm going to need complete access to your business." "There can't be any secrets between us, none." "Let me show you something." "He's building another mall on the site of the church." "It's not even a mall." "It's a bloody lifestyle center." "Eat, work, shop, play, all in one place." "I don't like this guy." "I hate him." "He doesn't want the closing of the church connected to him." "But he's got the city council in his pocket and got the land for a song." "Once this deal closes, he's free and clear." "By the time they break ground on this mall, he'll be untouchable." "Forget St. Nick." "We'd be better off with the patron saint of lost causes." "No, no." "He trusts you." "You can hook him." "Yeah, I know I can, Nate, but there's no time." "I mean, we need a long con for this job, right?" "In three days he owns that church." "Right, so we gotta hit him hard now and indirectly, you know, stall the closing, and buy enough time to bring him in for a longer game." "You really think he's going to fall for that?" "This guy, I gotta be honest with you, we're going to need a miracle to save this church." "So, let's go steal ourselves a miracle." "So, the Catholic Church defines a miracle as the work of God, usually through the prayers and intercessions of a saint for some specific purpose, frequently the conversion of the unbelieving." "How do you know all this stuff?" "I went to school with Father Paul." "To seminary school." "So, you dropped out of priest school to become an insurance cop?" "Now you're a leader of a band of thieves." "Nice." "You're a Catholic who wants to fake a miracle." "I'm pretty sure that puts us in mortal sin territory." "So, what?" "Now you're religious, too?" "No." "I'm not denominational, it's just I never do anything my nana said don't do." "This, what we doing, it just don't seem right." "NATHAN:" "What doesn't seem right?" "Let me get this straight." "We're trying to save a church, right?" "So, faking a miracle to me seems like the quickest way to do that." "Even Andrew Grant's not going to build a mall on a holy site." "Right." "So, we need three things." "We need a miracle, we need publicity, and we need to keep Father Paul out of the way." "He can't be involved in this at all." "Reporters follow Grant around in packs." "Let's use him as bait." "Use his own publicity to wreck his project." "It's elegant." "Okay." "Parker, I need you to go to the hospital and keep Father Paul there, no matter what, up to a point." "But keep him in the hospital." "Eliot, you're the retrieval specialist." "Give Hardison anything he needs." "Long as I don't have to do anything immoral." "No, absolutely not." "No." "Just need you to figure out how to fake a miracle." "(CHUCKLING)" "We all going to hell." "You know I'm getting out of here in a couple of hours." "Yeah." "It's just a few last tests to be on the safe side." "You leak this?" "SOPHIE ON RADIO:" "They're calling for his head." "It's a PR nightmare." "Trust me." "He's rattled, vulnerable, just right for me to kiss and make boo boo better." "He'll be a minute." "It's busy today." "Certainly is." "So, what's your take on all of this?" "The new mall?" "I mean, lifestyle center?" "We're building right around where I grew up." "I figured it'd sweep out the gangs." "Good on you." "You're a company man." "GRANT:" "Yes, ma'am." "Thank you for your opinion." "Okay." "I just received a threatening phone call from a nun." "Well, Mr. Grant, the problem is the reporters have their story." "Yeah." "Andrew Grant, neighborhood wrecker." "Like there's even a neighborhood there." "It's a bunch of losers and burnt out buildings." "The problem is they have the wrong story." "And what do we do when reporters have the wrong story?" "Give 'em a new one." "You need to take control of this, make an official announcement." "Give them the other story." "Yeah, sure, of course." "The church." "Do it at the church." "The church's doors are closing, boo hoo." "But you're opening new doors, opportunity for all." "Yes." "Yes." "Tomas, we'll make the official announcement down on First." "Call every reporter in the city." "Wonderful, I'll set it up." "GRANT:" "Come on." "Tomas, where are you?" "Come on." "We gotta get going." "Get on the phone." "What are you doing?" "Tomas!" "TOMAS:" "I'm coming, Mr. Grant." "All right, Father." "I got your test results right here." "Hmm." "High cholesterol, elevated sed rate and it looks like you're pregnant." "I'm going to need you to stick around and retest." "Behold, I've made the statues multiply." "Well, I gotta say that looks pretty good, Hardison." "I mean..." "Yeah." "It's a..." "Polystyrene?" "Amongst other things." "Uh-huh." "Just don't eat it." "Or breathe near it." "All right." "Show us what you got." "Test subject number one." "No." "I said bleeding tears, not bleeding ears." "All right, look, look, look, man." "You lucky on this deadline I didn't give you a baking soda volcano." "Yeah, but this is..." "Okay." "What else you got?" "That's ridiculous." "Stigmata paintball gun." "What?" "No, no, no." "No." "ELIOT:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "How does that work?" "Oh, I've been practicing." "Check me out." "Okay, Hardison, could you just make the statue cry without melting St. Nick's head?" "Don't melt Santa." "BOTH:" "It's not Santa." "What, are you 10 feet from there?" "How can you miss that?" "You're standing right here." "Everybody can't be Eliot." "Shut up." "Shut up." "Unbelievable." "Grant lined up?" "Uh-huh." "Yeah." "He'll be there, with the press." "Oh, um, I've been meaning to ask you." "How was it, you know, talking to Maggie again?" "(STAMMERING) Good, yeah." "Strange, but good." "(SOFTLY) Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, I still feel, uh..." "What?" "Guilty about Sam?" "No, no, not that." "Well, yeah, I mean..." "Yeah, and other things." "Other things." "But..." "You never cheated on her, Nate." "I know." "I know." "Tempted." "No." "No, you weren't." "I was." "Not really." "You've always been the good guy." "That's, you know, what made it fun." "Well, a part of what made it fun between us back then." "Back then, yeah." "And what about now?" "I don't know." "What about now?" "That's what we have to figure out." "By we, I mean, you, of course." "Of course." "Of course." "Uh, just don't take too long." "A lifestyle center to revitalize the life of this neighborhood." "A pulsing heart of opportunity and commerce in the center of..." "Everybody come quickly." "You have to see this." "It's a miracle." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "(GASPS)" "It's a miracle." "MAN:" "It's a miracle." "(CROWD MURMURING)" "PARKER:" "Not too bad." "It was nothing really." "It's just basic chemistry." "See, an oil polymer that reacts with a secondary chemical in the candles, no candle smoke, absolutely no evidence." "Light a candle." "The local news will pick up the event." "Grant will crawl back into his hole for a while, and well, at least for the time being, it will stay open to the..." "Whoa!" "(CROWD CHATTERING)" "Whoa!" "That's a lot of public." "I'm very good." "Yeah." "A little too good." "What did we just do?" "A weeping statue of St. Nick is on YouTube." "Good, this church will never shut down." "Oh!" "There's just so many people here." "I mean, what if they find out it's a... (WHISPERS) Fake?" "Hellfire, damnation, etcetera." "You know what?" "I'm going to step over here so when the good Lord goes down on all y'all," "I don't get hit by the lightning." "Wasn't Zeus the one with the lightning?" "Guys, guys, this is still a big win." "Sophie, find out where Grant is and make sure that he's..." "What did you do?" "(STAMMERING) What do you mean?" "What?" "You don't believe in miracles?" "The word "miracle" does not appear anywhere in the Old or New Testaments." "What about the wedding at Canaan, huh?" "What about Lazarus?" "Please tell me you had nothing to do with this." "I had nothing to do with this." "Nate, you're lying to me, right to my face, in church." "There's a fake miracle in my church." "(SHUSHING)" "(SIGHS) You know, there's a reason you didn't become a priest." "I do what I can." "You can't play God, Nate." "Just tell me what's going on and we'll try to fix it." "Paul, listen to me." "For your own good, I can't tell you what's going on here." "But I can tell you that I..." "That I got it covered." "They're in spin mode." "It's a mess." "I'm going to put a nail in his coffin right now." "Well, make it 10." "I don't want that son of a bitch crawling out." "So, St. Nicholas, a miracle." "Obviously we can't..." "Yeah, I know." "I've been up all night with this." "I figured as much." "I do have a spin on it." "No, no, no." "Forget it." "I've killed the American town." "This miracle, it gave me a real crisis of conscience." "Excellent." "Yeah, that's good." "We can work with that." "I looked into my heart, I paced, I cried." "But by dawn, I had my answer." "Bibletopia!" "(GASPS) It's a theme park?" "Uh-uh." "Lifestyle and recreation center." "Here, let me give you the tour." "So, the church stays, at least the statue stays and maybe that one wall with the stained glass, but the rest, gone." "Now, flanking the statue, two food courts." "So, the original pews, they're now outdoors for mealtime seating, holy contemplation, whatever." "Shops aplenty on the perimeter, but this, there will be a sea, an actual sea surrounding the park that will part every 30 minutes." "(LAUGHS) Huh?" "And then while people are waiting to come in, they can enjoy previews, food and souvenirs at the Tears of St. Nick Cafe." "Come to pray, stay to shop." "We also got this." "St. Nicholas bobble heads." "(CHUCKLES) There you go." "You're serious about this?" "(SIGHS)" "Hey, come on, Kristi, you and I both know this is not a real miracle." "A, because miracles don't exist, and two, because this pain-in-the-ass priest will do anything to keep his church open." "(LAUGHS) But, hey, I owe him a debt." "I mean, I never would have thought of Bibletopia without his divine intervention." "This stupid priest, he's going to make me millions." "(LAUGHS)" "NATHAN:" "Bibletopia?" "The man cannot be stopped." "It's like everything we throw at him just makes him stronger." "Kind of admire him, though, I mean, my nephew would like Bibletopia." "No, no." "See, this is what happens when you mess with God." "He raises up your enemies with his right hand, and then he smites you with his left." "No, no, no, no." "We can use this." "Just give me a second to..." "I just need... (TIRES SCREECH)" "Apostolic visitation." "Come again?" "It's the Vatican." "What?" "Apostolic visitation, it's like the Pope's, you know, CSI." "They come, they investigate a miracle." "They determine whether it's real or a hoax." "If they find out the truth they're going to close this church down and blame Father Paul for fraud." "I don't like this, Nate." "No." "I mean, even Grant, okay, he was hooked." "Ordinarily we'd have him under control by now." "And we'll get around to him." "We'll get around to him." "We'll save the church and we'll take out Grant." "You screwed up." "You're going to have to undo your own con." "Gentlemen." "Father, Father!" "Excuse..." "I'm having just big spiritual crisis." "You guys can understand more than anybody." "I need to talk to you right now." "You're the only one who can..." "Listen, I hope you weren't gonna do what I know you were just about to do." "Tell the truth?" "You bet I was." "Nate, no more lies." "The Vatican's here." "You and I both know what that means." "Yeah." "Break out the Grappa." "Does my getting defrocked amuse you?" "(WHISPERS) No." "Listen." "Listen." "Just let me explain this to you, okay?" "All right." "Just..." "This is..." "In here." "Oh." "There's always a loophole with you." "That's my side." "SOPHIE:" "How do you do, Father?" "I was wondering if I could introduce you..." "I get immunity, of course." "Nothing I say can be repeated to anyone, nor is it admissible in a court of law." "Start it right." "So, the statue..." "Bless me, Father..." "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "It has been..." "Two years, three months, 15 days since my last confession." "I was at the funeral." "So, the statue, we faked the miracle." "I know." "Now, I had no idea that it would get as much attention as... (STAMMERING) And Grant, that he would turn around and he would try to profit from it." "I have committed a string of selfish and hurtful acts, Father." "Wrong acts, right reasons." "Oh, the ends justify the means." "Is that it, Nate?" "Is that it?" "The details." "God looks at how we do a thing and he judges." "Hey, I'm out here helping people, I mean..." "Are you?" "Or are you trying to kill yourself, maybe take a couple of bad guys down with you?" "I am trying to save your damn church." "Save my church." "You faked a miracle." "My parishioners, my flock, my church, they believed in that miracle." "And now you are ripping out that faith and replacing it with a lie." "Maybe I'm not here to save this church, Nate." "Maybe I need to lose this church to save you." "(SIGHS)" "Go and sin no more." "Excuse me." "Andy, there's a bit of trouble, nothing alarming, it's just..." "The Vatican's here." "I know." "Isn't it great?" "Great?" "If they think it's real, we go forward with Bibletopia." "If they expose it, well, then I get good press for closing this fraud parish." "You see, when people say controversy, I hear attention." "(LAUGHS)" "Andy, you are shameless." "Oh, God, you get me so well." "Hey, come on, get me a picture with these guys." "Padre, how are you?" "Nice to meet you." "Andrew Grant." "It's a real pleasure to have you here." "This is my church, hopefully it will be my church someday soon." "It's good to have you here." "Was your flight over okay?" "Oh, it's monsignor." "I'm sorry." "I don't know the proper titles for these things." "Hey, look." "Would you mind if I take a photograph with you guys?" "It'll be just for my own personal wall of fame that I have at my office." "I'm going to confession." "GRANT:" "Okay, say..." "What do we call it?" "Rosary." "There it is." "That's what it is." "Right behind you." "GRANT:" "That's great." "Soon as that van full of Vatican CSI equipment gets here we're screwed." "That's what I was trying to say, but you guys wouldn't let me talk while we were all in that closet." "If we leave it here they're going to find out the statue isn't really crying and blame Father Paul for fraud." "Sophie, if we steal the statue he's going to get blamed for covering up a fraud." "(LAUGHING)" "This ain't funny." "As soon as they run a scanner or a pH stick over that statue they're going see those aren't real tears." "You're right." "It's only a matter of time." "You know, Father Paul, he can't help but tell the truth and he's going to flip on us." "I hope this is the part where you suggest prayer." "(WHISPERING) No." "The weeping statue of St. Nicholas is not going to be stolen." "It's going to miraculously disappear in the middle of tomorrow's mass." "I'm sorry?" "In front of the priests, the Vatican, the entire congregation." "Have you learned nothing, Nate?" "How much does the statue weigh?" "About 900 pounds." "Good." "I am so sorry, Nana." "The Lord be with you." "ALL:" "Also with you." "A reading from the Gospel according to Luke." "ALL:" "Glory to you, oh, Lord." "PAUL:" "A man had a fig tree in his vineyard, but it did not bear fruit, so he said to the man who took care of the vineyard," ""For three years, I've been looking for fruit on this tree," ""and for three years I've found nothing." ""It's a waste of my land." "Cut it down."" ""Sir," the worker replied, "leave it alone for one more year." ""Let me dig around it and fertilize it." ""If it bears fruit next year, all is well." ""If not, then cut it down."" "The gospel of the Lord." "ALL:" "Praise the Lord..." "Repent or perish!" "That's Luke 13." "Tough to swallow, huh?" "But like all parables, this one's open to interpretation." "Was the worker just being lazy, stalling?" "I'll get to it, boss, next year, manana." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Or did the worker have a secret?" "A secret that only our faith sustains us over time." "The owner doesn't have his hands in the soil." "Only the worker is there every day in the dirt with the tree." "He has faith in his skill and faith that God will support that skill, and maybe in a year's time the tree will bear fruit." "He doesn't look for the easy way out." "He doesn't say, "Oh, why would the Lord do this to me?" ""If only he would give me a sign." "If only he'd give us a miracle."" "But the worker doesn't ask for a miracle." "He has faith in himself, and faith in God, and he only asks for time." "Let us proclaim our faith." "ALL:" "We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, the maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen." "We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only son of God, eternally begotten of the Father," "God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father." "(SIGHS)" "All right." "Let's do it." "Whoa!" "ALL:" "For us men, for our salvation." "I saw what happened." "An angel took it away." "(ALL MURMURING)" "Calm down, people." "That's not what's happening." "I know what's going on here." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "There is no miracle." "Somebody stole the statue, and I know who it is." "Andrew Grant." "Hey, that's the guy that bought the church." "That's not my van." "What kind of monster fakes a miracle for a profit?" "You sicken me." "MAN:" "Thief!" "GRANT:" "That priest is desperate." "He hid the statue in the van." "He forged the registration papers to frame me." "We don't believe you." "Look, look, look." "Right here." "See?" "My assistant, he was with me the whole time." "Okay, now, look." "We bought this property." "We're going to fix up the neighborhood, right?" "No." "No?" "No!" "He got the land under this church the same way he got the rest of the neighborhood, the same way he gets all of his properties, by bribery, intimidation and violence." "Andrew Grant sent a bunch of thugs to beat up Father Paul." "If I go to the police with what I have I could put him in jail." "And me, too, probably." "Father, what can I do to make things right?" "You have to do the right thing." "(CROWD MURMURING)" "GRANT:" "You're gonna have to think very hard about this." "We're going to have a very long discussion." "Okay." "Great, good." "Cops got here fast." "It's almost as if an investigative journalist called them with a tip off." "Kristi, save me, huh?" "You can spin this, right?" "Instead of felony, maybe soften it to controversy." "You know, when you say controversy, I always hear attention." "(GROANS)" "(LAUGHS)" "GRANT:" "Are you even British?" "I gotta tell her something." "I gotta talk to her." "NATHAN:" "You used me." "Yeah, well, you used me, too." "Broke the seal of the confessional, told everyone the statue was a fake." "To save the faith of my parish." "Wrong act, right reasons." "End justify the means, Father?" "I'll count myself blessed and take my miracle." "Ah, but there was no miracle." "Nate, five thieves saved my church." "It was good to see you, Paul." "You better plan on being there next Sunday." "I've got a great sermon on making amends." "We'll see." "You'll be back." "I have faith in you." "Look at that, we saved the church." "It's like Christmas." "See, I told you St. Nicholas was Santa Claus." "(CHUCKLES) He's not, Parker." "PARKER:" "Who is he then?" "St. Nicholas?" "Is the patron saint of thieves." "(CHUCKLES)"