"[engine fires up]" "¶ On an outer space adventure" "¶ They got hit by cosmic rays" "¶ And the four were changed forever" "¶ In some most fantastic ways" "¶ No need to fear, they're here" "¶ Just call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" " ¶ Don't need no more - ¶ That's ungrammatical" "¶ Reed Richards is elastic" "¶ Sue can fade from sight" "¶ Johnny is the Human Torch" "¶ The Thing just loves to fight" "¶ Call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" "Wow!" "Let me tell you what happened in the first two parts of Doctor Doom's story in case you foolishly missed them." "Doom kidnapped Sue and then after trapping Reed, Johnny and The Thing, he carried them off to his castle deep in the Black Forest." "Reed now knows that their captor is the same Victor Von Doom who had been his classmate in college." "He was an evil scientific genius, who had survived a dangerous experiment to menace the world years later as the dreaded Doctor Doom." "[Doom screams]" "Doom captured the Fantastic Four to force them to carry out a deadly, mysterious missión." "Sue tried to keep him talking long enough to give Reed, Johnny and Ben enough time to escape." "Luckily, the power-mad tyrant was willing to tell her his life story." "It was a story he had kept locked within him all those tortured years." "With the tale concluded at last," "Doom tricked our heroes into entering the room where Sue was held captive." "A room that grew smaller with each passing minute." "They only had 48 hours to travel to Ancient Greece in Doctor Doom's time machine to bring him back the mysterious coffin of Argos." "And now let the wonderment begin." "Your room grows smaller, my dear." "If your husband and his friends are not successful, you have less than 47 hours before you are considerably smaller as well." "Reed will return, Doctor Doom, and when he does..." "He will make me more powerful than you could possibly imagine." "Look!" "The coffin of Argos is more than an archeological trinket." "It holds an alien power generator of incalculable force." "The Ancients feared it, and with good reason." "I shall use it to dominate the Earth!" "Reed will never put such power in your hands." "Of course he will!" "To save the woman he loves." "Discussión is pointless." "He may soon be lost in the mists of time, in which case I will be rid of him, your fiery brother, and that grotesque orange brute forever!" "Either way, I win." "Amazing." "Doom's device penetrated the space-time continuum by accessing a fourth-dimensional wormhole." "[Thing] Yeah, Doom's just the kind of worm who'd do something like that." "[Johnny] The time machine, it's gone." "How the Sam Hill are we gonna get back now?" "We don't need to worry about that, Ben." "Yeah?" "How come?" "Because they'll probably kill us first." "It's a Persian invasión force." "I don't want to jump to no conclusions, but it looks like they ain't too crazy about us." "We don't want to affect the course of history." "But the Persians were merciless tyrants and the Greeks gave birth to the ideals of democracy." " So..." " So?" " So?" "So?" " So we'd better punt." "Stick around!" "I'm just warming up!" "Good work, Johnny." "Ben, now we can start searching for the coffin of Argos." "[speaks Greek]" " What did he say?" " A salutation in Ancient Greek." "Luckily, I still have a supply of those translingual patches we used in fighting the Skrull invaders." "Greetings, men of Athens." " We come in peace." " By all the gods, stranger!" "We owe you our lives." "Ask what you will and it shall be yours." "I, Xanthus, swear it." "Okay, we're looking for the coffin of Argos." "What?" "Not the coffin?" " You can't be serious?" " Do we look like we're kidding?" " Come on, we got things to do." " The coffin of Argos is cursed." "Our legends tell us great Zeus cast it into the underworld when it brought dissensión to the gods." "To seek it is to seek death." "So we got a lousy hobby." "Where is it?" "Yes, we must find it, no matter the risk." "Then you must look there on the slopes of Mount Olympus." "Home of the gods." "The Temple of the Oracle." "If anyone knows its whereabouts it will be she." "But the road is dangerous." "I wish I could do more to help you but we must go to warn the countryside." "The Persians will return." "And if we must die to preserve our freedom, we shall do so willingly." "Farewell!" "Wait!" "There is something you can do." "We may have less trouble if we don't look quite so... foreign." "Can you give us something more appropriate to wear?" "Yeah, they lost our bags at the airport." "Man!" "I look like the keyboards guy in a heavy-metal retro band." "Nonetheless, these clothes should enable us to move about without attracting undue attention." "Ha!" "Look at Big Brain." "Guess you're gonna need a head transplant, huh?" "[he laughs]" "We've got to reach the Oracle." "The clock is ticking." "Hurry." "Sue's life depends on us fulfilling this missión." "Steady, Hauptmann." "Begin the fusión process." "Carefully." "The energy demands of a time machine strain even my resources but I must maintain its effectiveness until Richards returns." "With my prize." "Come on, Susan." "You can't power yourself out of this but you can still think." "Johnny would melt himself free." "Reed would thin down and slip out." "And Ben, well, he would just flex his muscles and pop these." "Wait, I can flex the capsule with my invisible shield." "Now get going, girl!" "Agh!" "Maintain constant quark flow." "I'll be seeing you, Doctor, but you won't be seeing me." "I cannot leave the energizing process to pursue her." "Send the Creeper." "At once, Excellency!" "Search and recover." "Search and recover." "Search... and recover." "[Reed] Temple of the Oracle." "I've read about it, of course." "But I never dreamed I'd actually see it as it was." "Who seeks the Oracle this day?" "Speak or be gone." "[Reed] Strangers from another land." "Phew!" "Hey, smells like rotten eggs." "Bleuch!" "Didn't these Grecians never hear about air fresheners?" "It's hydrogen sulphide from the mineral spring in the crevice." "The Ancients believed such things had magical powers." "This is no place for non-believers." "We need to find the coffin of Argos." "You lie!" "Only fools and conjurers seek that which does not exist." "But you, you're neither." " You're young." " You are, too." "And incredibly gorgeous." "I am Oracle." "My destiny is to sit before a crack in the world and look into the dark face of the unknown." "It is for you to question me." "More than that is not to be." " My name is Johnny." " I know all." "You must go to the River Styx." "If the coffin of Argos truly exists, would it not have come to rest where the mighty Zeus cast it down from Olympus?" "Look to the River of Death." "Farewell, Johnny." " Gone..." " Fat lot of good she done us." "All that gobbledygook about some dumb river ain't gonna do us diddly-squat." "That waterfall." "If the coffin of Argos traveled down from this mountain into a river, this stream could've carried it." "But the Oracle said the god Zeus threw it into the underworld." "You see, Johnny, Greek myths, like all legends, are often based on actual events poetically retold." "Let's just hope that's true in this instance." "Now get on board." " Hey, easy!" " Hang on!" " We're gonna shoot the rapids!" " [all] Oh!" "Jeez Louise!" "Look out, Reed." "Whoa!" "Wow!" "The myth was right." "Over the centuries, treasures washed down Mount Olympus and accumulated in this natural grotto, which was converted into a shrine to the gods." "Look!" "The what-you-call-it of Whose-is." "Let's see what's inside." "No!" "If Doctor Doom wants it so badly, the contents are undoubtedly powerful and dangerous." "But we found what he sent us for." "Come on, we gotta get back." "Back... before..." "Sue... gets... squished..." "I can't keep my baby blues open." "[Reed] The brazier." "It emits a form of... sleep gas when it's lit." "Can't lose the coffin now." "The invincible threesome who drove our ground forces off yesterday, defeated by a simple ancient trap set to thwart thieves." "Haul them on board." "I'll use them as galley slaves when we attack the Greek fleet at Salamis tomorrow." "And should they survive the battle, I'll hang them." "Heave!" "Heave!" "Stroke!" "Stroke!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "Our invasión fleet awaits." "Ugh..." "My head." "Auntie Em..." "Auntie Em..." "Feels like a weasel died in my mouth." "Oh, we've been out for hours." "And now we're at sea." "And..." "That promontory and coastline look strangely familiar." "Hmm." "Watch it, Curly." "You could hurt somebody." "I could and I will, slave." "Now, put your back into your oars." "Today mighty Persia shall bring Greece to her knees." "Who're you calling slaves, sleazeball?" "Let's 86 these chains." "Bondage makes me nervous." "Flay the dogs." "Put them to the lash." "Catch!" "I guess them sailor guys forgot to eat their spinach." "Now I know why I recognize that coastline." "I studied it in college." "We are about to enter the Battle of Salamis." "Look, in 480B.C., the Persian king Xerxes assembled the largest invasión armada in the history of the Ancient Worid." "Contemporary accounts say the Greeks could only muster a small defense force." "Ben, where's the coffin of Argos?" " Here, but it shrunk." " Must be molecular compressión." "This is one time we must make sure history comes out right." "One of the strangers who saved us yesterday." "Ben!" "Johnny!" "Hurry!" "[cheering]" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Again you find us in unequal battle to defend our freedom." "When I lower my sword, ram the Persian flagship." "Now!" " Agh!" " Wait, there's a better way." "The gooey substance you burn for torchlight, what is it?" "A foul-smelling gift from the sea, which washes up on our beaches in globules." "Once lit, water cannot put it out." "By any chance, is it called Greek fire?" "Yes, but I do not understand." "That gunk is crude petroleum." "Precisely." "It washes ashore from a sub-oceanic oilfield." "Oil schmoil!" "We're gonna be sub-oceanic if you don't stop gassing about torch fire, water that don't put out, and..." "Hey!" "The Persian ships are made of..." " [all] Wood!" " What's he doing?" " Stop him!" " It's incredible." "Batter up!" "Water will not extinguish the flames." "It's Greek fire!" "Abandon ship!" "My invisible shield!" "It's my only chance!" "Prisoner... recovered." "Bring her to me." "Again have you rescued us and preserved our democracy." "Stay and be our honored brothers." "Thank you, Xanthus, but we must return to our own time at once." "My wife's life depends on it." " We're waiting, Ben." " I ain't going." " What?" " You have to!" "Well, I ain't a freak here." "They like me just the way I am." " But we'll never see you again." " No time to reason with him." "Goodbye, Ben." "We'll miss you." "I'll never forget you, big guy." "Yeah, well..." "I'll miss you too." "Jeez, the wind must've gotten into my eyeball, or something." "Hey, what's happening?" "Water spout!" "[yelling and screaming]" "Look out, Reed!" "The coffin of Argos, its contents are lost." " Johnny?" " I'm okay, Reed." "But the water spout sank all the ships." " That means that Ben..." " Yes." "Ben." "Doom's time machine!" " We must go." " No, no, no, not without Ben." "Sue wouldn't want us to leave him behind if he drowned." "Your friend survived, Johnny." "Wait for me!" "Thank you, Oracle." "Remember me." "So I made a mistake." " Sue me!" " What?" "!" "Reed, darling!" "Johnny!" "Ben!" " Are you all right?" " Yes, sweetheart, we're fine." "I never lost hope I'd see you again, darling." "I knew you'd come back." "You had to." "Your touching reunion must wait." "You found it!" "The coffin of Argos in exchange for Sue or I'll have Ben squash it." "You heard him, Fender Face." "Release her." "The coffin of Argos!" "Fools!" "The power this contains will enable me to dominate the Earth." "You and all mankind shall be helpless to resist me." "Greek fire!" "You tricked me!" "Not at all." "You asked for the coffin of Argos and we delivered it." "Just as I intend to deliver you to the proper authorities." "I used the energy in your own time machine to summon the Fantasticar!" " Grab him, Ben!" " Hope you like stripes, creepo." "I'm afraid I have a previous engagement." "But never fear!" "We shall meet again!" "And when we do, we'll be ready." "¶ There's Galactus looking hungry" "¶ And Doctor Doom is near" "¶ Here come the Skrulls invading" "¶ Do you run and hide in fear?" "¶ No way, no way, no way" "¶ Just call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" "¶ That's all, no more Now, that's grammatical" "¶ Reed Richards is elastic" "¶ Sue can fade from sight" "¶ Johnny is the Human Torch" "¶ The Thing just loves to fight" "¶ Call for the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four"