"Our God has given us free will... and with that gift comes the burden of choice." "It is time, far past time... that you took up that burden... because until you do... you cannot go on." "But sending me back to where she is... is like asking me to fail." "It's asking you to choose." "I think we've seen about the last of the wet, thank heaven." "Three solid months of that rain is enough to send a person round the bend." " You say that every year." " It's true every year." "It was the wet when we first met, wasn't it, Luddie?" "You were sitting in a mud puddle as I remember." "In the mud?" "Yeah, I fished her out, carried her home." "Ruined my only suit." " And your life." " And my life." "There." "It's absolutely beautiful." "I'll treasure it." "You can't do much work during the wet, anyway." "Unless you're Luke O'Neill." "He and Arne are off to Sydney to work in the sugar refinery... until the rains are over." "How did he take the news about the baby?" "Doesn't know yet." "I'm gonna write to him tonight." "This just might bring him around." "The main thing is you'll have that baby." "I will." " It's been a long time, Father." " Welcome home." "Thank you, boys." "The place looks wonderful." "We've had some rough phases." "But I think she's coming up right along." " Fee." " Hello, Ralph." "I should be kissing your hand now that you're an archbishop." "Fee, not you." "How are you?" "You never tell me a thing when you send me your financial reports." " Where's Meggie?" " Still in Queensland." "At least I guess she is." "Haven't heard a word since Christmas, and that's been six months." "Queensland?" "Whatever is she doing there?" "They're settling there, you know." "Although we're all wondering if Luke will ever buy a place." "Luke's work takes him away most of the time, I gather." "So Meggie stays with some friends of his." "Luke?" "Meggie's husband." "Ralph, you didn't know Meggie married?" "Little Meggie?" "And no one told me?" " Blimey, did she never write to you?" " Luke's not Catholic, you see." "Meggie wanted to tell you herself." "You wanted her to marry." "In fact, you're quite good at getting what you want, aren't you?" "Mary Carson's been dead, how long?" "And here you are, an archbishop already." "What kind of man is this Luke O'Neill... that he roams about and doesn't even make a home for Meggie?" "The ambitious kind." "Thank you." "All right, you sent for me and here I am." "So what do you want?" "You haven't come since I wrote to you about the baby." "I'm sorry you're not happier about it." "I don't know why you ever thought I would be." "I always told you exactly how I felt about it." "Yes, you did." "I was wrong." "But the fact remains we're going to have a baby... and we've got to make some kind of home for it." "Too right." "And I'm supposed to just fall in line and forget about all the things I want." "But we want the same things, don't we?" "I mean, I want the station, too." "You've got a fair way of showing it, giving us another mouth to feed." "Please listen, Luke." "You said you need about £5,000 more to buy the kind of place you want." "At least that." "And now..." " Then it's yours." " What do you mean?" "I mean that I can get the money... if that's truly what's stopping you from getting us settled." " Where can you get it?" " What difference does it make?" " It's what you want, isn't it?" " Answer me." "Where?" "I wrote to Father Ralph in Rome." "I know he'll give it to me." "You what?" "Damn you, Meghann!" "You mightn't have any pride, but I do." "I've never taken money from any man... much less a flaming Catholic priest." "I'm not about to start now!" " Luke, listen to me." " You made your bed, now lay in it." "Luke, please don't go." "Better let me." " What are you doing?" " I'm going home." " Home?" " Yes, home to Drogheda." "Because it's the only home I'll ever have." "Luke doesn't want me, and he doesn't want a place." "He doesn't want anything." "Just to work his guts out in that damn cane until he drops." "Have you lost your mind?" "You can't go anywhere." " You're about to have that baby, girl." " I don't care!" " Meggie." " I hate Luke!" " Stop it." " And I hate this baby!" "Stop it, Meggie." "She's not strong enough to make it to the hospital." "So a cesarean's out of question." "You'll just have to hope she has the strength to bear this baby by herself." "I've given her as much laudanum as I dared." " I'll go sit with her." " The midwife's there." " So Luke's come, after all." " Luddie sent a lad to fetch her husband." "Yes, and I ought to thrash him." "If it came down to a choice between Meggie's life... and the baby's... what would your conscience advise?" "The Church is clear on that point, Doctor." "Neither may be sacrificed to save the other." "You're a priest and I suppose you must speak as a priest." "It doesn't seem so clear to an ordinary man like me." " Lf the husband were here..." " lf I were the husband..." "I think I couldn't bear to sacrifice her... for anything." "Then she didn't know that you'd returned here to Australia." "No, I thought it best." "Her letter was forwarded on to me from Rome." "When I read it, I had to come." "I felt there must be something wrong." "We're just glad you did come, Your Grace." "It's good to know there's someone in the world who cares about the poor girl." "No, thank you." "I want to go back in to her." "Cares about her, Luddie?" "If you ask me, he's in love with her." "Isn't she a beauty?" "There's nothing wrong with you, is there?" "Hush up." "We could all use some rest." "Yes, I think we could all use a little rest." "Here." "I'm afraid dear Justine is going to be a screamer." "She might as well learn early." "Meggie, all babies cry." "Yes." "Here you go." "I must go soon." "I expected that." "It's funny how you always show up for life's great crises... and then just melt away like the Holy Ghost." "I'm sorry you're not happier about the baby." "Before she was born..." "I said I hated her." "I don't." "What I wouldn't give if she were yours instead of Luke's." "Why must the Church have all of you?" "Even that part of you she has no use for, your manhood." "You already know the answer to that, my Meggie." "It is a necessary sacrifice." ""Necessary."" "Come off it, Ralph." "I'm not a child anymore." "And I'm not your Meggie!" "I never was!" "All those years that I loved you... and I waited for you, and I wanted you!" "You never wanted me." "So I tried to forget you with someone else." "He doesn't want me either." "You think you're no ordinary man... but there's not a penny's worth of difference between you and Luke O'Neill." "You're both... just great, big, hairy moths... bashing yourselves to pieces over a silly flame." "While all the while out there in the cool night... there's food and love and babies to get." "Don't you see it?" "Do you want it?" "No." "And so it's back after the flame again, until it kills you." "God knows how much I've hurt you." "But I do love you." "Yes, you love me." "And God more than me." "And yourself most of all, Ralph." "Yourself and your ambition." "This is very hard, I know." "But please, don't let it make you hard." "You've always been my rose." "The most beautiful human image and thought..." "An image?" "A thought?" "That's all I am to you, isn't it, you romantic, dreaming fool?" "You haven't the least idea what real love is!" "Go away!" "I can't bear to look at you anymore!" "There's one thing you've forgotten about your precious roses, Ralph." "They've got nasty, hooky thorns!" "Bring the truck around." "Wait for me, please." " Good day." " I'm looking for Luke O'Neill." "He's down the end." "Getting a little close, aren't you, there?" "What's a priest doing here?" "He ain't giving me the last rites." " Look for the lines now." " All right." " Mr. O'Neill?" " That's right." " I've come about your wife." " Meghann?" "She's not any sicker, is she?" "The baby was born on Wednesday." "A girl." "I'm Archbishop de Bricassart." "Saints preserve us." "The famous Father Ralph." "Mr. O'Neill, I'm very concerned about Meggie and your daughter." " They need a home and they need you." " I suppose Meghann sent you?" "No, but she wrote to me, as you know." "I can understand why you might not want to accept my money... but for Meggie's sake, I urge you to reconsider." " We can certainly make it a loan." " Now, wait a minute!" "Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what we can and can't do?" " Meghann's my wife, not yours." " Then be a husband to her, man." "If you can't give her the love she deserves at least give her some kind of decent life." "She's not starving." "And she's got the kid she tricked me into." "What's the complaint?" "She can wait till I'm ready to quit the cane." "When I'm offering you the means to have what you say you want..." "Do you think I'd take a brass razoo from you?" "Get out of here, Your Holiness, and take your means with you." " I work for what I have." " Or marry for it." "Why, you flaming Catholic poof." "I ought to knock your head off." "No bloody fear." "I won't spoil your nice dress." "But don't let's talk about which of us got the most of Meghann's money." "Go on, mate, we got work to do." "Good on you, Luke." "Another Christmas without Luke." "I think you have to face the fact... that Luke may never leave the sugar while he's got the strength to cut it." "I know." "He loves the life, he really does." "Out there every day proving to himself how manly he is." "Maybe if I were able to truly love him it would be different." "It's the Archbishop you love, isn't it?" "Always." "All my life I've cried for him like a child crying for the moon." "But I've got to stop crying." "I'm not going to waste the rest of my life dreaming of a man I can never have." "I don't know if I can wear Luke out... or to wait for him to wear himself out in that bloody cane, but I've got to try." "Why do you have to try when he's brought you nothing but grief?" "What else do I have?" "And I've got to make some kind of home for Jussie." "I owe her that much." "Yeah, sorry to keep you waiting." "That's the finest Christmas dinner I've ever seen." "Listen to me for a moment." "Anne and I are worried about you." "You haven't gained your strength back since Jussie was born." "What you need is some time to think... time to rest, get away." "Figure out what it is you really want." "We're sending you away for a while." "And all on your own." "Away?" "What about you?" "What about Justine?" "It's all taken care of." "I don't want to hear any more about it." " Good day, Sam." " Good day, Rob." "Here we go." "That does it." "How do you do?" "You'll be Mrs. O'Neill, of course." "I'm Rob Walter." "Welcome to Matlock Island." "Watch your step." "Here we go." "Bye-bye, now." "Best of luck to you." "We're supposed to be a honeymoon resort." "Perhaps Mr. O'Neill will be along later?" "I really don't expect him." "The cupboards are all stocked." "If there's anything you need..." "I'll call in every day at sunset to make sure you're all right." "Thank you, Mr. Walter." "Bye." "Father, please." "Help me get free of this." "Turn around, Mrs. O'Neill!" "A surprise for you!" "I've brought your husband!" "They told me where to find you." "Forgive me." "No." "Damn you." "No more." "I was afraid to sleep." "Afraid you'd be gone when I woke." "What are you thinking?" "That in all my life I've never awakened in the same bed... with another human being." "That I'll never awaken again... without wanting you there beside me." "That I've fought a terrible battle... and I've lost it." "All those years of denying that I was a man... and all to find with you... that I want nothing more than to be a man." "That I'll never be more than that." "The day that I first met you at the Gilly station... you smiled at me." "Then you said my name." "Then you touched me." "And since that day, I have somehow known... though I never saw you again... my last thought, this side of the grave, would be of you." "And there's nothing I can do to change it." "You know how terrifying it is, that power you have over me?" "How could I fail to know?" "Ralph?" "When Justine was born... you said I still saw you as a child... or as some ideal image." "And it was true." "How else could I fight you?" "To see you as you really are, with a body that molds perfectly to mine... and a soul that lies open to me... would be to lose my soul." "And now, you think you have lost it... just by being a man." "What kind of God would shut men out of Paradise for loving women?" "A God I still can't give up for you." "I know." "But now you're here with me." "And while you're here, you're mine." "What will you do now?" "I have the house for two months." "And then?" " I'll write to you from Rome." " No." "I don't want letters." "I may never see you again." " As punishment for this?" " My punishment... is never to be sure again... that I love God... more than you." "I have broken all my vows." "I know I can never have Ralph." "But at least I've got part of him the Church can never have." " What are you doing here?" " I'm leaving you." "A legacy passed down from generation to generation." "You finally murdered your leading man." "I went to bed with him." "You are everything I want to be." "You know nothing of the man I am." "The compelling conclusion." "What else have I ever done but pay for the great sin... of loving Ralph de Bricassart?" "The Thorn Birds."