""Alice (Part 1)"" "Yame!" "Thank you all." "That's it for tonight." "See you Tuesday." "Mr. Chase?" "I believe we have a private lesson." "How many classes have you taken so far, Mr. Chase?" "10 in 6 weeks, but I could always do with more." "You know I'm only part-time." "You'll have to see another instructor." "Who would you recommend?" "Hajime." "Tim Roberts is a very good instructor." "I heard he has a mean streak." "What about Jenny Moyers?" "She's no good for you." " Why not?" " She's too..." "Pretty?" "Ow!" "Alice, that really hurt!" "I'm sorry, honey." "Where?" "Everywhere." "Ooh." "Should I kiss it better?" "Better?" "The pain is..." "lower down." "No, don't get up!" "I need medical attention." "Come on." "So, tonight... 7:00." "My mother is so looking forward to it." "Good for your mom." "I am, too." "What have you told her about me?" "Just that your leg-kicks need work." "It's true." "Can you spare some change, ma'am?" "No, but I've got these." "Nope..." "Nope." "Absolutely no." "Where are these from?" "Kokatahi." "Where's that?" "Is that Hawaii?" "New Zealand." "Mm, nice." "If Daddy's in New Zealand, maybe I'll go looking for him myself." "Well, he's not in Kokatahi." "Should I bring out the fine china?" "Well, I thought you were excited to meet him?" "I am!" "I only hope it's not the kiss of death... again." "What are you talking about?" "Alice, you know it's true." "You no sooner bring a guy home than you come up with a million reasons why he should never come back." "Well... this one's different." "Good evening." "Um, the roses, please?" "Thank you." "Hey, you." "We were just talking about you." "Need more time?" "No, I think we covered it." "Come in." "For me?" "For both of you." "How lovely." "This is my mom Carol, and..." "Jack." "Jack." "Wonderful to meet you at last." "Same here." "Let me put these in water." "Hang on." "This one... is for you." "Dinner's gonna be 20 minutes, so, you two, entertain yourselves." "...and then we'll re-do the floors sometime this fall." "Well, you have a beautiful home." "Thank you." "It feels like we've been here forever, because... we have." "It's been the two of us for, what?" "I guess almost..." "10 years now." "10 years, March 23rd." "Alice is meticulous with dates." "Yeah." "Well, that one." "That's when...?" "Her father disappeared on us." "Yes, of course." "Listen, my show is about to start, and I think the two of you can handle being without me for a little while, so I'm going to say goodnight." "Thank you for dinner." "It was a treat." "You're very welcome." "All right, sweetheart, you can just leave everything on the table." " Night, Mom." " Night." "I didn't mean to do the family-baggage thing." "No, it's fine." "I..." "I want to know all about you." "What's up?" "How would you like to meet my family?" "Are they coming to town?" "No." "We'd have to go there." "Oh... uh... okay." " When?" " How about tonight?" " Are you crazy?" " It'll be an adventure." "Some things are more exciting on the spur of the moment, don't you think?" "No..." "Not when they involve meeting your parents." "Jack, I would have to get myself together, and..." "Alice, you're perfect as you are, and we could be back by..." "Monday morning." "I know nothing about them." "I'm..." "What if they don't approve of me?" "They'll, uh..." "They'll approve of you... when they see you with this." "It's got a hidden catch." "Wow, it looks really old." "It's been in my family a very long time." " Are you giving me this?" " Would you like to try it on?" "Jack, a ring means something." "This is too fast." "No, it's way too fast." "Okay." "I'm sorry, I got the wrong idea." "Maybe after you've seen my home," " met my friends..." " No, I can't come with you, Jack." "Not tonight." "Maybe we should just take it easy for a while..." "See how we feel in a few days, and..." " Alice, I" " Just... give me some time." "Goodbye, Jack." "Was it a diamond ring?" "No..." "But it looked incredibly valuable." "So... after weighing all the possible cons with all the unlikely pros, you just kicked him out?" "I don't need the lecture." "Alice..." "Honey, listen." "Just because Daddy left doesn't mean they all will." "Well..." "The ring!" "He slipped it in my pocket." "There's no way." "Jack!" "Jack!" "I'm afraid he's gone." "Who are you?" "A friend of Jack's." "I'm here to help him." "Then why didn't you?" "Who are those guys?" "Jack took something that didn't belong to him." "We need it back." "What are you talking about?" "The ring, Alice." "How do you know my name?" "Where have you taken Jack?" "He's quite safe." "Then bring him back and let him tell me himself." "I'm afraid he's got to go back with me to face charges." "So you do have it." "No!" "Where have you taken Jack?" "Wait!" "Hey!" "Stop!" "Hello?" "Hey!" "Wait!" "What is this place?" "Hey!" "Wait!" "Jack." "Come on!" "Oh, my God." "Spare some change, ma'am?" "No, but I've got these." "What's happened to you?" "Hey!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Good." "We have her." " Take them away." " Let me out of this thing!" "Temper, temper." "What the hell is this place?" "Mm, you shouldn't have come after me, little Oyster." "Hey!" "Come back here!" "Must dash." "Running late." "Don't even think about it, buddy." "You're an Oyster!" "Just put the knife away." "I don't want nothin' to do with you, you hear?" "I'm a workin' man." "I don't want no trouble." "Suits see us together, we both be dead." "Wait!" "I need directions, sir!" "Go 'way." "Can't help no Oyster." "I'll pay you!" "Look, I have some money." "What's that?" "20 bucks." ""Bucks?"..." "I'm looking for a man who was kidnapped and brought here." "If you help me find him... it's yours." "An Oyster like you?" "Yeah." "I'm Alice." ""The" Alice?" "The Alice of legend?" "Uh, you're kind of freaking me out." "Um..." "The guy that I'm looking for, he's probably locked inside that flying-beetle thing." "Do you know where it's headed?" "You... come with me." "Quick, quick!" "Thanks, but, no, no, I'm good." "Oh, they see you, Oyster, you dead." "They?" "Who's "they?"..." "First, I go." "Count 10, then follow, okay?" " No, what's in there?" " A man who knows!" "Knows what?" "Wait!" "I have an important announcement!" "A new tea has just come on the market." "Ever get that guilty feeling?" "Huh?" "Maybe you... abandoned the wife and kids and... left 'em without a crumb to split between them?" "Or maybe you killed someone?" "A relative... or a neighbor... and it's left that niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach" "that's growing little by little into a dull, throbbing pain..." "Gnawing away at you... undermining your confidence... and making you feel sick... and worthless... and fearful?" "Well, fear no longer!" "Because... "Clear Conscience" has finally arrived!" "The latest wonder of wonder from that remarkable wonder of all wonders..." "the Hearts Casino!" "This way." "Would you like a cup of tea?" "No, thank you." "Who are you?" "A friend..." "I hope." "I run the tea shop." "See?" "How did you break out of Scarab?" "The beetle thing?" "I used my hair pin and..." "Fell?" "As you can see, I'm drenched." "This place..." "Where-- What is it?" "Wonderland." "That's a story in a kid's book." "Does this look like a kid's story to you?" " No." " It's changed a lot since then." "Oh, so you're saying that it was real?" "You Oysters don't know how to find us, so-- excuse me." "You tell yourself that we don't exist, and, quite frankly," " I like to keep it that way." " Why am I an "Oyster?"" " This?" " That's not gonna come off." "Sorry." "Only people from your world turn green when burned by the light." "It's the Suits' way of branding' their catch, and they call you "Oysters"... because of the shiny little pearls... that you all carry inside." "What do you mean, "pearls?"" "She's Alice!" "Tell him who you are." "Wow." "Really?" ""Ratty" here thinks you're Alice... of legend." "Who?" "The last, um..." "The last time a girl called Alice... came here... from your world," "she brought down the whole House of Cards." "Oh, yeah." "Made quite an impression..." "Although it was 150 years ago." "It can't be the same girl!" "Oysters don't even live that long." " I still want a good price." " Wait a minute." "I am not for sale." "Not on the grass!" "Alright." "Here we are." "Pink nectar..." "Filled with the thrill of human excitement." "50 Oysters were drained... of every last drop of hullabaloo so that you, Ratty, can... taste what it feels like... to win... just once." "Warning." "Don't take it on an empty stomach, and only one tiny little drop at a time, otherwise the experience might burst your shriveled-up little heart." "Got it?" " Got it." " Good." "Go." " He really smells." " "Oysters were drained?"" "What do you mean, "drained?"" "Ratty tells me you're looking for someone." "His name is Jack Chase." "He was taken by a man with a white rabbit on his lapel." "I see." ""The White Rabbit" is an organization controlled by the Suits." "They travel back and forth through the Looking-Glass and... vanish people from your world to ours." "Why?" "To use..." "in the casino." ""Use?"" "Did I say "use"?" "Slip of the tongue." "They're fine." "You know, they keep them... alive, and... moderately happy." "How do I get to this casino?" "That's the thing." "You don't." "Way too dangerous." "But..." "I know some people who... know some..." "Well, other people..." "If you know what I mean." "It's one of the privileges of... running a tea shop." "Lighten up." "You... should wear this." "It'll cover the glow... and stop you from catching a cold." "I have a little money, but I understand you don't use that here?" "Pieces of paper..." " Pointless." " Then why would you help me?" "Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress?" "I see." "You don't trust me." "Fine!" "I am genuinely hurt." "Do you know why they call me "Hatter?"" "Because you wear a hat?" "No." "Because I'm always there when they "pass the hat"..." "So to speak." "Philanthropy, generosity..." "I mean, you-- you can call it what you will." "It's who I am, and, right now, looking at you there, there's nothing I want more than to... help you find..." " Jack." " Jack!" "And return you both to your charming world of children's stories." "I don't believe you." "I know what you're thinking." "If I'm the frying pan, then that, out there, is the fire." "I'll be square with ya." "I know people who like to help your kind, and if, every once in a while, I scratch their back..." " They'll scratch yours?" " Precisely!" "Lot of scratching'." "Do try to keep up." "You're late." "I know." "I'm sorry." "Black Jack..." "Black Jack..." "Black Jack..." "Everyone's a winner." "The time has come, Walrus, old friend, to test our many stills." "The "oohs", the "ahhs," the healing drops, the passions, the thrills... and see how joy and awe and lust... can all be turned... to pills." "What is it?" "Uh, the king requests your presence, Carpenter." "Thank you." "What's the matter?" "I've got a thing about heights." "Why couldn't you guys build the city on the ground?" "Look at me." "Alice...?" "Try not to look down." "Okay?" "Scarab just brought in the last shipment of Oysters." " How many?" " 20." "Make the most of them." "We won't be getting any more until we find that ring and restart the Looking-Glass." "There was just enough juice left in it for the last sortie, and the queen... would like you to harvest more unusual emotions." "It--It's difficult enough... getting the simple ones." "You know it takes a thousand thrills to make just the tiniest drop." "People want to experience more exotic wonders..." "Surprise... adoration... ecstasy... calm..." "Elation!" "Now, keepin' the masses happy is a very great responsibility, Carpenter, and one that weighs heavy on my shoulders." "If our people don't feel what they want to feel when they want to feel it..." "Well, the whole system breaks down!" "Instant gratification... is a very complex business." "That's why we have to keep moving forward, forever discovering more exotic wonders." "Ah!" "There you are!" "Oh, joy." "Oh, bright day!" "Finally, and at last!" "Oh..." "How do you open this thing?" "I don't know, Majesty." "Well, there's a hidden catch somewhere, but I can never remember!" "Okay." "Summon the Queen." "23." "17!" "54." "And... 10!" "Everyone's a winner!" "This is such a rush!" "That one talked." "Oh, my God!" "What's the time?" "I've got to pick up my kids!" "We have a conscious one here." "I better see if I can find the car." "I can't move my..." " What's going on here?" " Ma'am?" "Oh!" "Hello!" "My feet seem to be stuck." "Oh..." "There's nothing wrong with your feet, ma'am." "Tell you what." "Why don't you come with us?" "We'll help you find what you're looking for." "My kids." "I think I have kids, a family." "I'm pretty sure my husband's a Taurus." "Do you know my name?" "I can't remember my name for some reason!" "You don't need to bother with technical things like that, ma'am." "What's wrong?" "She's regaining her faculties." "Do you know my name?" "Something beginning with a "B," I think." "Take her to the waiting room." "Come with us." "Did you talk?" "You shouldn't have talked." "I was worried about my kids." "We all have family somewhere." " I got to find my car." " You can't leave." "None of us can." "I'm returning a library book." "It's a work of Edwin and Morcar." "How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail?" ""He pours water of the Nile on every golden scale."" "Come on, be quick." "Hello, duck." "It's all right." "Wait..." "Why don't we just put these things away?" " Come on, you know me well enough." " We have our orders." "Keep that right hand where we can see it!" "It's just flesh and blood." "Right." "We've all seen what you can do with that sledgehammer." "Did you like the box of comfits I brought you guys last week?" "The cured meats... and the cheese?" "They're all gone." "Well, if you don't treat me with a little respect, you won't get another crumb." "Sorry, Hatter." "Everyone's a little jumpy." "Everyone's always a little jumpy." "Where are we?" "The Great Library." "There's 5,000 years of history hidden here..." "Art..." "Literature..." "Law." "Rescued when the Queen of Hearts seized power." "She'd like nothing more than to see this burnt to nothin'." "Who are those poor people?" "Refugees." "Those who don't want to be a part of Queen's world of instant gratification." "We give them shelter and try to feed them as best we can, but... it is dangerous." "If the Queen found out, they wouldn't stand a chance." "Why does she want to destroy all of this?" "Wisdom is her biggest threat." "She controls people with a quick fix." "How are all my lovely Suits today?" "We are very happy, ma'am." "How nice." "You're all so clever and pretty." "We've found the Stone of Wonderland." "Where is it?" "We will have the Looking-Glass up and running in no time, and, this time, we'll pull in 50 or 100 Oysters a day." "What a charming practical joke." "My dear?" "Why am I not surprised?" "The girl!" "The ring, Alice." "Girl?" "Agent White took the box from a girl, an Oyster." "She must have the ring." "Yes." "Where is she now?" "She... um... escaped." "What exactly do you mean, "escaped"?" "Some of the honeycomb containers are getting a little old." "We have renovations planned in next year's budget, but..." "An Oyster... is running around Wonderland with my ring?" " We'll find her!" " Oh, we'll find her, all right." "But you, Agent White, will take no further part." " His head, ma'am?" " Yes, of course." "What else?" "His foot?" "I'll put all Suits on standby." "No!" "It will only alert the Resistance." "The last thing we want is to feed that riff-raff a grain of encouragement." "No, we need someone who can work quietly, behind the scenes..." "Someone cold-blooded, ruthless... criminally insane." "Is Mad March alive yet?" "She's looking for her boyfriend, a "Jack Chance."" "Chase..." "His name is Jack Chase." "She needs help." " I thought of you, Dodo." " Really?" "And why would I want to help your Oyster... when you know that bringing her here puts us all at risk?" "Oh, please." "I've spent years smuggling more dangerous things than this down here." "You know what rankles most... about blood-sucking carpet baggers like you, Hatter?" "Your gall." "While we risk our lives trying to bring freedom to ungrateful leeches like you, you swan about, living the good life." "Stop your crowing." "You know I'm on your side." "I'm sure you say that to all your enemies." "I do what's necessary." "I kiss what butts need kissing so your machine stays oiled." "Look, if you can't help me, I'll just leave." "Headstrong, isn't she?" "Can you help me get Jack out of the casino?" "I don't see how." "The resistance has contacts inside the casino, right?" "No comment." "Use them to find her guy." "She can pay you, but I want my usual cut up front." "Pay me?" "Pay me with what?" "Show him the rock, Alice." "What?" "The ring on your finger." "No." "That is off-limits!" " It's all you have, Alice." " No!" "It's not possible." "Where did you get it?" "It's none of your business." "It's not for sale." " Where did you get it?" " What... what is it?" "Your Oyster is wearing the Stone of Wonderland!" " It's impossible." " I'm never wrong." "Where did you get it, Alice?" " Jack gave it to me." " Jack?" "Jack Chase, the guy we're looking for." " Well, where did he get it?" " I don't know!" " Give it to me!" " No!" " Take her out!" " Are you crazy?" "Stop!" "Just wait!" "You're in way over your head, Hatter." "Just give me one second to talk to her, okay?" "It controls the Looking-Glass." "You know that." "Calm down." "Put the gun away." "I'm sure we can all get what we want here." "Look, no one is getting this ring!" "We've been waiting for years for a break like this, and now it falls into our laps." "Stop waving that thing around." "You're scaring everyone!" "If we can return the Oysters back to their world, maybe we can save ours." "Just put the gun down!" "Think about it!" "The Queen..." "reduced to mopping floors." "It'll be just like the old days." "Justice, reason... and the rule of law!" "Stop this!" "No!" "You shot Hatter!" "We don't need him anymore." "The ring is our ticket out of here." "Leave her alone... or believe me, the next one will be aimed at your head!" "Look, Hatter." "This is a game changer." "I'll give you three times your price." "5!" "10!" "You name it!" "Back off!" "If you let her leave with the ring," "I'll have every member of the Resistance hunting you down." "You'll be dead before teatime!" "And that's the thanks I get, huh?" "For keeping you bums fed and watered all these years?" "Hatter!" "It's the blue button!" "Go, Alice!" "Hurry up and push the blue button!" "Go!" "Lucky." "Come on, Hatter." "How did you do that?" "No!" "How bad is it?" "Body armour." "You're not even wounded." "You lied to me!" " I was trying to help you." " By selling my ring?" "I didn't know it was the Stone of Wonderland, did I?" "Well, you could have asked me before bringing me here." "He wouldn't have come." "You're damn right, I wouldn't." "He almost killed me!" " Yeah, well, he actually shot me!" " Yeah, now tell me the truth." "What is the Stone of Wonderland?" "It's a big deal." "It was mined by the ancient knights to power the Looking-Glass." "The door that connects our world to yours." ""Knights?"" "They were wiped out a long time ago by the Queen." "She took the Looking-Glass and of course, the Stone." "How did Jack get hold of it?" "What now?" "The Queen wishes to know whether you've revived Mad March." "The Queen's favorite assassin?" "Oh yes, of course." "Yeah." "No, I'm still working on it." "Where is he?" "Where's his head?" "That's the part I'm still working on." "Well, I'll try to arrange an extension of, say, an hour." "Are you kidding?" "This will take weeks." " Well, the Queen wants him now." " Tough!" "The bio-molecular transfistropia is a delicate and complex process which requires time." "Besides which the subject is dead." "Is that what you'd like me to tell the Queen?" " Tough." " No, but..." "Then have him ready in an hour." "Whoa." "Where do you think you're going?" "Anywhere, but here." "There are no-go areas in this town." "I don't believe this is happening." "I mean, this place-- You people..." "I mean, this is all too weird." "Listen, calm down." "I'm going to try and get you home, okay?" " Really?" " Yes, really." "I could" "Could you just keep still?" "And what's in it for you?" "Let me guess, you want your "usual cut up front?"" "I don't blame you for being angry." " I acted impetuously..." " No, selfishly." "You acted selfishly!" "Whatever word you want to use!" "Let me make it up to you." "Alice, this is a dangerous place." "Trust me, you're gonna need my help." "Well, where is he?" "I don't see him." "Before I present Mad March," "I-I feel I should warn..." " Prepare you." " What?" "In the interest of..." "expediency," "I've had to make some... technical adjustments." "What are you talking about?" "Shortcuts." "How short?" "What on Earth have you done to him?" "Uh, think of him as a... hybrid, Majesty." "In many ways, he is better than before." "We don't need a user manual, do we?" "I hate user manuals." "Not too close." "He's still finding his way." "Does he have all his old skills?" "Forensics..." "Tracking..." "Homicidal mania?" "I believe so." ""Believe so?"" "There wasn't much time for testing." "Does he speak?" "Let's try him out, then." "Mad March..." "How are you today?" "Piss... off, you... cow." "Excellent!" "He's good as new!" "Now then Marchy," "I need you to find someone..." "A girl." "Not interested." "I see." "How disappointing." "Well, in that case, we'll just have to find another use for you." "Lets put him in the gaming room, where the geeks can have fun with him." "What?" "What else am I to do with you?" "I'm devastated truly." "Aw." "That's too bad." "Take him away." "He's obviously past his prime." "Okay." "Okay!" "Tell me about this broad." "The Looking-Glass is the only way to get you back home..." "And it is here in the city, but it's the most heavily guarded piece of kit in Wonderland." "I've got to find Jack first." "Have you not heard a word I've said?" "I don't know how he got mixed up in this, but I know that he's not a thief." "He was trying to..." "surprise me, or sweep me off my feet, and.. so, somehow, he got a hold of this ring, and it has landed him in a pile of trouble." "If it wasn't for me, he would be home safe." "How did he get hold of it?" "Well, I don't know." "The point is..." "I'm the only one who can get him out of this mess." "How'd you figure that out?" "Well, I've got the ring." "I can use it to negotiate his release." " Oh, no." "No." "You..." " No?" "No, you can't negotiate with the Queen." "She's crazy." "You have to cut your losses." "You get the hell out of here while you still can." "No, I can't just abandon Jack." "I mean, he's innocent." "And besides, I like him." "Oh, you like him?" "Yes." "A lot!" "Trust me, I--I know a thing or two about liking people, and, in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, like, turns into, what was his name again?" "No, not in my world." "Look, I have a bad record with liking guys..." "There's a shock." "Well, and this is the first one that has meant anything." "There's no way that" "I'm going to give him up now." "Stay close." "Hey." "Hey!" "Look at me!" "Did you see her?" "Hey!" "Get out of here!" "Hey." "You!" "What about you?" "What did you see, huh?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "I asked..." " She told you she was Alice." " Yes." "If you work with rats long enough, you can turn into one, eh?" "What is that?" "Nothing I've ever seen before." "Wait..." "No, it can't be." "Sir?" "Sir!" "Suits!" "Sir?" "What?" "We should run." "Run!" "Quickly!" "Come on!" "That way." "Down here!" "My smuggling boat." "Quickly!" "Hang on." "There's a knack to this." "Which, apparently, I've never learned!" "Come on!" "Damn!" "I'll call for a Scarab." "Where is the casino?" "I already told you can't negotiate with the Queen." "But..." "The White Rabbit is a different kettle of onions." "Perhaps they'll do a deal." "It's a long shot, but it's the only one we've got." "We?" "I don't think you know this, Alice, but my shop was ransacked." "I'm homeless." "I am a target now, not only for the Suits, but for the Resistance as well, and there's only so many places in Wonderland that I can hide." "The way I see it, I've only got one option..." " Which is?" " Go back with you... to your world." "Before we do anything, we have to shake that royal flush." "They are heading for the shore." "I don't know who that weirdo is leading the posse, but he's got one hell of a nose for blood." "And this is the place to find it." "What was that?" "There's things in these woods that defy imagination." "Come on, we haven't got much time." "Look..." "We can't shake the posse." "We can't fight them either." "There's only one thing left to try." "What's that?" "Lead them into a trap." "Keep your breathing shallow." "Did you hear that?" "Yep, you should find a tree that you can climb." "What?" "Why?" "The trap we talked about?" "This is it." "I'm the bait." "Go!" "Wait!" "What is it?" "Tell me!" "It's a Jabberwock." "What?" "Alice, less of the questions." "Just get going." "You're going to lead this thing back to the posse?" "Yes, after he gets a good look at me!" "Now, could you just please go?" "That's your plan?" "If you don't..." "Run." "Not that way!" "Alice!" "Hey!" "Come on!" "You okay?" " Yeah." " Good." "Come on!" "You okay?" "Just about." "Stay still." "Vermin!" "Saboteurs!" "Anarchists!" "I was this close to catching him!" "This close!" "Degenerate bag-heads!" "That's it." "This way." "Saboteurs!" "Pig-pushing clots!" "Bug-bashers!" "Who the hell are you?" "I... am a knight." "The White Knight, to be precise." "Sir Charles Eustace Fothoringhay Le Malvois the Third." "Who... are you?" "I'm..." "Alice." "Alice?" "The Alice?" "The..." "Alice?" "No." "Just..." "Alice." "Just..." "Alice?" "I thought all you guys were wiped out years ago." "Well, you thought wrong." "As you can see, I'm as fit as a butcher's dog." "Are there any others like you?" "Certainly not!" "I'm a one-off." "My nan used to say that if I were the only eligible bachelor left in the world..." "I'd be an old maid." "Or wall-flower who'd polish my escutcheon." "No, I meant are there any other knights in these woods..." "Your comrades in arms?" "Heavens, no." "Are you mad?" "We were all wiped out years ago." "You dug that pit on your own?" "You think I'm too old?" "Well, let me tell you something, knugface..." "Youth is vastly overrated!" "I may have put on a few years, but I'm crafty." "I have a very inventive and calculating mind thats high with groundbreaking state of the art ideas." "I invent all sorts of things." "The beehive-mousetrap, for instance." "This here pit, as you so rudely call it, is in fact my third attempt at the gravity assisted snare, Mark IV." "He's mad as a box of frogs." "How the hell have you survived?" "Oh, yes!" "I am a knight..." "And I'm an inventor, as I said, but, if I'm honest, it's strictly only on a part time basis." "You don't say!" "And I dabble in the black arts, now and then..." "Soothsaying... toenail readings" "That sort of thing." "Here, let me show you!" "Give me your palm." "Get off!" "What's that on your finger?" "Nothing." "It's the sacred ring." "The Stone of Wonderland." "Our ring!" "Don't get too exited, grand dad." "The ring stays on the lady's finger, okay?" "It is meant to be!" "This time, this place, this meeting in the woods..." "Okay, we need to get away from him before he gets us killed." "But maybe he can help us." "Have you forgotten about the weirdo that's tailing us?" "This... freak show is going to draw his attention for sure." "If this knight has survived out here for this long, maybe he knows a thing or two." "Listen, Charlie, we have some very bad men following us who want to kill us and steal the ring." "Do you know anywhere we can lay low for a while?" "The stars are aligned in a cosmic-ray of hope!" "And you want to put your faith in him?" "Yes." "He might be nuts and... 150 years old, and dressed like a car crash, but he's a survivor." "And I'm not deaf!" "Just Alice..." "I will be honored to escort you, your goods... and vassal... to my sacred kingdom." "Did he just called me a "vassal"?" "Even works over mud." "Wiping the tracks clean away." "Maybe senile Sam does have a trick or two up his, uh..." ""Escutcheon."" "Welcome... to the Kingdom of the Knights." "Well, well..." "What do you know." "Before the war, the Queen of Hearts... this... was once the greatest city in the realm." "The Red King and his elected council ruled Wonderland with the wisdom of the ancients." "And the Hearts destroyed everything?" "We lived in harmony for a thousand years, but when the queen came to power..." "She just wanted to feel the good... not the bad." "Believe it or not, this was once the throne room." "Sadly, all that's left now... is the throne." "That was good, Charlie." "What was it?" "A barbecued borogove." "They're the devil to catch, but well worth the trouble, don't you think?" "When in Rome..." "Shan't be long." "What I want to know is how we're going to cut a deal with the White Rabbit." "I did say it was a longshot... but as long as you got that ring, you've got a chance." "You!" "What happened to we?" "I can't leave, Alice." "Wonderland's my home." "I can't just abandon it, despite what I said." "I have to stay and fight." "What?" "Seeing all this-- Look..." "This great kingdom and what-- what has become of it." "It's a wake-up call, to be honest." "My people..." "I mean, the hundreds of refugees that are all hiding underground, they're all counting on me." "Didn't that Dodo guy say he was going to have you hunted down and killed?" "Yep." "But..." "I'm thinking if I turn up with the ring, he might forgive me." "So that's what this is about..." "Don't worry." "I'll get you home, safe and sound first." "And Jack?" "You have to forget about Jack." "We'll never get him out of the Casino alive and trying-- it's only going to set off alarm bells." "That will make your escape impossible!" "Okay, so you were just leading me on, back there?" "Just believe me." "It will be suicide." "Jack's a lucky guy." "What?" "Nothing." "Look, it's late." "And we all need our... rest." "We can... argue about this tomorrow." "Yeah?" "Dinah?" "Dinah..." "You're alive?" "What are you doing here?" "Dinah." "Dinah?" "Dad?" "Dad?" "Daddy?" "Daddy..." "What was that?" "That's the Early Warning System!" "Someone has broken through the perimeter!" "Where's Alice?" "Battle stations!" "Sound the order of Seraphim!" "Drum!" "No." "No!" "I need a horse." "Which way should we go?" "You don't have to come, Charlie." "This isn't your fight." "You couldn't be more wrong!" "You led the Alice of legend to me for a reason." "Call it what you will" "Divinity, fate, an alignment of forces beyond mortal understanding." "In time, you'll see that I am the true paladin here, and you are merely a harbinger." "And besides, you..." "You'll never find her without my help." "Remember..." "I'm also well versed in the black arts." "We shall be guided by my psychic connection to the mysterious things that bind mankind to the outer realm." "Galadoon de Booshe." "You're going the road wrong way, harbinger!" "We should go west." "You go west." "I'm going east." "Why?" "She's going to the Hearts Casino." "But that's certain death." "Why would she go there?" "Hello, Alice!" "You look like you can use a little company." "She's lying, of course." "We could search her again, of course..." "More... thoroughly." "It won't do any good." "Oh, I don't know about that." "Winston!" "Where did you hide it, girl?" "I told you, I don't know what you're talking about." "I've never worn a ring in my life." "We know Jack gave you the ring, Alice." "The White Rabbit told us, heaven rest his soul." "But the question is:" "Did you leave it in your world?" "Winston, you idiot!" "Now she knows we don't know whether she brought it with her!" "Ah... that's right." "Sorry, dearest." "This interrogation bussiness is... very tricky." "Wait!" "Is she really that clever?" "Oh, yes." "I think she just may be." "You walked into Mad March's trap on purpose, didn't you?" "You wanted him to catch you, because you didn't know your way here." "You'd only do that, of course, if you'd hidden the ring first, somewhere very discreet." "Am I right?" "Your plan was to cut a deal with one of my cohorts, make your demands, and return the ring only when they'd been met." "But suddenly, you find yourself face to face with the Queen of Hearts herself." "The most powerful woman in the history of literature and you don't know whether you can go through with it." "You've lost your nerve." "That about sums it up, doesn't it?" "No." "No?" "I haven't lost my nerve." "Now we've got her where we want her." "So, then, Alice, my dear..." "What are your demands?" "I want you to free my boyfriend, Jack Chase, and send us both home." "When we're certain that we're safe," "I'll tell you where the ring is." "I see." "Number Nine." "Go and fetch this Jack Chase." "But, ma'am..." "Do as you're told." "What a coincidence." "It appeares that Jack Chase was waiting just outside the door." "Me wonders why." "Jack?" "Are you alright?" "I'm fine." "What are you doing here?" "We found her running around the forest all on her tod, so I brought her here." "I was very curious to see what sort of tart my son is hanging around with these days." "Son?" "You're her son?" "His real name is Jack Heart." "He lied to you about that too." " Mother..." " Don't "mother" me, you odious quizling." "Your girlfriend has hidden the Stone of Wonderland out there in the bushes somewhere." "She's not my girlfriend." "She's nothing to me." "Jack?" "So why did you give her my ring?" "As I've said a thousand times before," "I didn't gave it to her." "She took it." "She was an affair, that's all." "Someone to pass the time with while I explored her world." "I took the ring, so's to be certain, I'd have the power to return." "Little did I know, she'd go through my things while I slept." "Alice..." "Tell us where you hid the ring." "What?" "I didn't ask you to come here." "I certainly didn't ask you to hide the ring, so..." "Come on." "Tell everyone where it is." "I won't tell anyone where it is until you've taken me home." "Perhaps that's not such a bad idea." "If I take her home, you'll be sure to get it back." "Brilliant." "The only little niggeries..." "Well," "I wouldn't trust you if you told me the sun was round." "Sadly, we've had to shut the Looking-Glass altogether now." "I'm sure we can run over the lovely girl without having to go all the way back to smelly old home-sweet-home." "Ah..." "look who's here." "Duchess." "Majesty... meow." "Jack, have you nothing to say to your fiancé?" "What?" "Don't tell me Jack forgot to mention his life-long love, his wildly romantic engagement and upcoming wedding?" "So this is..." "I'm afraid so." "Really?" "I'm starting to wonder about your taste, Jack." "But if you think she's pretty, what must you think of me?" "He thinks you're the most gorgeous creature in the world." "That's why he's marrying you." "You see, Alice, dear," "Jack's been engaged for months now." "His flight through the Looking-Glass was no more than a diversion, a stag spree, a wave goodbye to his mischievous youth." "You're going to tell us where you hid the ring... and then you're going to wish you had never laid eyes on my son." "Well, I'd better run." "Goodbye, Alice." "I forgive you for taking the ring." "I know you're upset with me." "And I don't blame you." "He's here." "Goodbye." "Duchess?" "Take her to the Truth Room." "Yes, ma'am." "Dad?" "Daddy!" "Keep moving." "He's here." "Who is she, Jack?" "Jealous?" "Of course I am." "Then help get me out of here." "You know I can't do that, but, maybe... if you tell me what you're up to..." "I'm not up to anything." "Darling, maybe we shouldn't have any secrets between us." "I know what you're thinking, but it isn't so, no how." "Contrarywise, if it weren't so, it might be and if were so, it would be... but as it isn't, it ain't." "That's logic." "I am Dr. Dee, and this is my brother..." "Dr. Dum." "Our job is to open you up, pull everything out, until we find the very thing we're looking for." "Relax." "Let your mind go." "Allow yourself to fall into a deep sleep." "Dad?" "How old are you?" "10." "But you are alone in the house." "Why have you been left alone?" "Dad's left." "Mom's asking the neighbour to take care of me so that she can look for him." "Did he say goodbye?" "No." "Why don't you see if he's left you something in his study?" "No." "Why not?" "I'm scared to go in there." "Nonsense." "# Humpty-Dumpty sat on the wall #" "# Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall #" "# All the King's horses #" "# And all the King's Men #" "# Couldn't put Humpty together again #" "Now it's time for a battle." "Let's see if we can find a little lever... and pry the tasty Oyster open." "No!" "Please!" "No!" "Well, now..." "It looks like Daddy left you with a fear of heights." "This isn't happening." "It's all in my head." "It's just a dream." "It's just a dream." "I just have to wake up." "It's real!" "Of course it's real." "But I'll die!" "Undoubtedly." "But don't you want to know where I've hidden the ring?" "Not really." "This is much more fun." "Are you crazy?" "Cynically insane."