"In the middle, you feel like it's never going to end." "But he was with me." "I was going to make it." "I remember that morning Hunter made me a deal." "He'd clean out the basement if I swam all the way across the lake." "I dove right in." "Our basement was a nightmare." "It turns out that gliding along behind me, that's when the last song on the album came to him." "The first time I brought him here to show him where I grew up, he decided that this was where he wanted to write music, have a zillion kids, have a yard big enough to get lost in." "To become part of the wilderness instead of just part of some scene." "Most of the songs on the album," "I don't really know where they came from." "But I was there for that one." "So I hold onto that track as the one that we wrote together..." "together as it was supposed to be." "Because the plan was never to live in the frigging woods all by myself." "But here I am, still way out in the middle without him." "Don't look at in that tone of voice." "Mister popular today." "All right." "Do you have any books on how you write books?" "You know, all the rules and grammar, semicolons, and whatnot?" "Yes, I would recommend, "The Voyage Out"" "by Virginia Woolf." "It's on the fiction aisle, bottom shelf, lilac spine." "I'm ready for my next assignment." "Hannah, don't waste your time, right?" "I'm giving the column to somebody else this week." "What?" "Who?" "I am done playing the fiddle to you procrastination dance." "Hey, Upton, no." "Don't test me today." "I..." "I worked all morning." "I did." "Give me interview." "Come on and make it a good one?" "Esther Greely, birthday number 88." "Bless her heart." "Now, 600 words, and I insist you spend the minimum amount of time on it." "That "Franklin Journal."" "It's always striving for excellence." "Yeah." "Did my, special order come in?" "The biographies?" "Yes, the did." "I have to be well-versed in the full spectrum of the genre." "Well, this ought to do it." "That's going to be some good writing." "Here." "Give me that." "All right." "You have such loose morals behind the cash register." "Thank you." "You know what?" "Keep that one." "I don't want that." "Well, you might." "Maybe I do." "You're going to love it." "Hey." "Hello." "Ok, guys." "Out we go." "Come on." "Come on." "You have two unheard messages." "First message..." "Hello, Ms. Miles." "It's Andrew McCabe again." "You know, I'm not sure if you're getting any of these messages." "But I still would like to speak to you about your late husband." "I've been studying his work..." "ANSWERING MACHINE RECORDING:" "Message erased." "Next message..." "Come on." "There you go." "Well, maybe you'll pick up on of these days." "So in the meantime, I'll just go ahead and tell your machine a little bit about myself." "I'm a scholar, writer, associate professor..." "Good boy." "at Hofstra University in pop culture and American studies." "Go!" "Go fetch!" "Andrew McCabe." "Let's see." "Professor." "Stalker, possibly." "Well, congratulations." "You write for the internet." "Hannie." "Hi, Hannah." "Hi." "You brought a bird." "Had to evict this little critter." "A rare little fellow." "Aw." "Thought maybe you'd want to tend to him." "You know, I..." "I actually just sat down to do some work." "I'm on my lunch break presently, and I guess I thought a bird in the hand was worth me in the bush." "HANNAH'S GREETING ON ANSWERING MACHINE:" "Hi, I'm not here." "Leave a message." "Noodle." "Noodle, are you there?" "It's Mom." "Mom?" "You're not going to like this, sweetie, but apparently there's some tight-jeaned fast talker from the Big Apple who showed up in town today, riding some fancy motorcycle." "He's been asking everybody all sorts of personal questions about Hunter." "No!" "So I guess you got another muckraking type on our..." "What?" "Mom?" "Hey, what?" "From New York?" "Yeah, hi honey." "I guess he teaches at Hofstra or something." "Anyway, he's in the Chickadee Suite at the Mount Bloom motel, in case you want to pay him a little visit." "No, ok Mom." "I got to go." "Hofstra?" "Hello?" "Hofstra?" "You in?" "Yes." "Upton?" "There's some underhanded, citified star-humper all up in my grill." "I think he's at the coffee shop." "Will you come with me, and help me crush him?" "Please?" "Crush me?" "What the..." "I could fling you like a Frisbee." "Ok." "Told you she was a spunky one." "I love spunky." "Hannah, this is Andrew McCabe." "We were just talking about some really cool stuff." "And..." "Yes." "You know, he teaches at..." "Hofstra." "Hofstra." "That's right." "Yeah." "So you want the restraining order now, or you want to wait for the libel suit?" "Sorry?" "You parasites are done running Hunter through the rumor mill." "Got that?" "Boy." "Talk about barking up the wrong tree." "I mean, if you're talking about magazines, I agree with you." "They're trash." "No, I'm writing a book." "He's writing a book." "Traitor." "Look it, everybody that matters is going to be in it." "Ok?" "But Hunter Miles could be it's heart and soul." "All right." "Well, you're awfully tenacious." "I'll give you that." "Thank you." "But my husband was a person, a real man." "And every song he ever wrote and everything he ever touched is mine." "Got that?" "Mine." "The end." "Mine." "This, crazy widow routine of yours..." "Does that work on people?" "I mean, it seems a little over the top." "Sorry, that's too much." "Yeah." "Sorry." "Hey, look." "I've got respect fathoms deep for everything your husband had to say in those shattering songs, ok?" "There was too few..." "So where'd you get that?" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "Hey!" "Whoa!" "Come here!" "Hey!" "Give that back!" "Ok." "Lady, look, that's not yours to ruin, ok?" "Sorry, one second." "Please!" "Will you give me back my book?" "Are you..." "It's like a snow globe in here." "It's a lot of work went into this, you know." "Go ahead, sir." "Please, please." "Are you kidding me?" "Who does this?" "You make a very lousy first impression." "You know, there are many stages of grief." "Yeah?" "Hannah is currently going through vandalism." "Yeah." "Spunky?" "Thanks for the warning." "Lend an open heart to Hunter's words, and you soon recognize that these were always wounded impre..." "Impre... imprecations from some distant remove, a windswept field of high grass and dying light, otherworldly, illusion." "The man was singing from transcendence long before his soul floated across that deep, cold river." "And he shines with hope." "He pulls you beneath the covers for a flash-lit whisper session, shining onto who we are, what we run form, and who we open our hearts to become." "I'll make other plans to meet you." "On a distant shore I've got to choose you." "Be your guiding light on the horizong." "Sends you." "HANNAH'S GREETING ON ANSWERING MACHINE:" "Hi, I'm not here." "Leave a message." "Hey, look..." "I just assumed after a couple of years you might be ready to talk about him." "I misjudged that, and I am really sorry." "But your husband means a lot to me, genuinely." "But I..." "I'll tell you what." "I'm..." "I'm getting something to eat at the diner, and I'm leaving town, ok?" "But I..." "I really want my notebook back, man." "Or what's left of it anyway." "All right." "All I've decided is that I'll listen to you." "Ok." "There's going to be the sound of chewing for a minute." "You got 30 seconds." "Make your case." "Ok." "Well, I'm not going to need that long." "I want to make your husband immortal." "That's a cruel thing to say." "No, no, what's cruel is, you know, no matter how good his music was, it's getting buried in an avalanche of cheesy singles." "Someone needs to build a monument to raise them up above the rubble." "Right, and that's you?" "Associate professor of truth on your hog?" "It's not a hog." "It's a cafe racer." "It's European." "Come on." "Order up." "Here." "I Got a few questions" "Yeah, well, me first." "So, this book of yours." "It's not gossip." "It's not reference." "It's not fiction, ok?" "But it is wildly romantic." "It's about the chorus of lost voices... artists, poets, musicians, all of whom failed to navigate out of the..." "The woods of their youth." "And to understand why, what I'm trying to do is deconstruct the edifice of commodification that I believe our society has entombed the creative urge." "I mean he's like the patron saint of this whole ethos." "You know what?" "I'm not that worried." "Nobody's reading this book." "What do you want to know?" "Yeah... ok, so... so Hunter grew up in Philly." "Yeah, he's a drummer in a punk band, right?" "Suddenly, he's singing his heart out on the edge of the Earth with an acoustic guitar." "How the hell does that happen?" "He loved it up here." "Did he?" "I mean, he loved you." "And you're from up here." "All right, yeah." "The whole thing's my fault." "Can I get that out of the way for you?" "Yeah." "You know what?" "I'll, I'll take that home for the hounds." "Are we done?" "No, no, no, no, no, no." "You know what?" "What I really want to know is, you know, like, ok." "Here is a sensitive soul who gives us a single, nearly-perfect album in the woods of Maine." "Right?" "And then before all the... you know, the tours, and the radio play, the chaos, the corruption, he's gone." "You know, what happened?" "Like some accident or something?" "Yeah..." "I'll be right back." "Hey, Hannah, just let me talk to you..." "Ok, McCabe." "You got good taste in music." "You've got your theories about consumer blah blah." "And here's the deal." "Any monument that gets built for him, I'm laying the bricks." "Ok, will you..." "Hold on, all right?" "Whoa!" "Hey!" "Easy." "Look, I just want to say, man, I'm sorry." "I'm terribly sorry you want to just let him slip away for good." "You know, I hope you get promoted, or rich, on "The View," or whatever it is that made you haul yourself up here." "Get off my truck." "You're condemning a genius to obscurity." "Work on this with me." "I am working on it, dickweed." "I'm writing hi biography." "What?" "Wait." "Hold on." "Stop." "Roll it down right now, please." "Come on." "Let's talk about this." "Please!" "Ok, fine." "Fine." "Nice meeting you." "She just stonewalled me." "I mean I don't If I can use him in the book at all." "That sucks because, I mean, he would have been the cornerstone of the whole frigging..." "Look, he wrote one surprising album." "He had a lot of potential." "And it sucks that he died so young." "Yeah, but hon, how many stacks of dissertations have been written about, you know, I mean, hell." "You got Cobain, you know, Buckley," "Arbus, Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, David Foster Wallace." "On and on, you know?" "You know, Hunter Miles..." "Uncharted territory." "Walk out on a frozen lake." "Tenure in the bag, man." "Lost my mind in..." "No, no, no, this does not make or break you." "Come downtown with me." "I scalp three bands a week that are much more cutting edge than Hunter Miles." "I know that, honey." "But that's what's so great about him." "You know, there's nothing..." "Nothing cutting edge about him." "You know, he's timeless." "Owen?" "Hey, to Hunter Miles." "Echo, echo all within." "Rewind and then erase." "Mainstays and saving grace." "Mainstays are my rest..." "Hannie." "And the space pod zoomed across the horizon." "The captain roared in his reptilian voice," ""Lizardbot, unleash your!"" "Ha!" "Unleash!" "Hannah." "Hannah Miles." "I'll come back." "Get over here." "I didn't know you were a fan of "The Worm of."" "Here." "Just read it, please." "That's part of an intro, and then something like a first chapter, and then some epilogue." "It's a... it's a start, right?" "There is some interesting stuff here." "It's just that I know what you're capable of, you know?" "When you're on, you're like a fanged wolf howling from a mountaintop." "But this is a toothless piglet." "You know, lost in the woods." "Great." "Thank you." "Hannah, you're attempting the impossible." "It's ok to ask for help." "Yeah, well, thank you, Upton." "But I'm not going to drop this in your lap." "Well, you're welcome." "But it's not my lap I'm thinking of." "Never." "Fiction or autobiography?" "Pose or confession, Biggie was as much defined by, as he was killed by, his 10 crack commandments." "So I ask you, what does that mean to hinge your street cred on your own mortal evanescence?" "That is all." "And hey, just to look ahead, after the break, we're going to be diving into the Kool Herc materials." "So start thinking cultural appropriation, sampling the break, which is not the same thing as copy-pasting your midterms from a Wikipedia page." "Mr O'Brien, busted." "Professor." "Nice surprise." "What are you doing here?" "I thought you might like some sushi." "Lifesaver." "Yes, very much so." "Yeah, we'll eat over here." "Hold on one sec." "Hello?" "Hi, it's you uncooperative widow friend." "Well, hello there, Ms. Hannah Miles." "How are you?" "I'm good." "How's New York?" "Full of too many people, as always?" "So here's the thing." "This, research, or whatever it is that you're doing on my husband, I..." "I don't like it." "And Hunter would have kicked your ass for so many reasons." "But I also think that he would have respected your take on the songs." "Well, I'm sorry." "Respect me?" "The muck-raking, star-humping dickweed?" "Did I forget any?" "I am willing to let go of my first impression." "Good, good." "Well then, me, too." "Hold on a second here." "Psychotic, ball-busting widow... poof... to the wind." "Proceed." "You know, you're just the last in a long line of bloodsuckers coming here to dig up dirt, so you..." "No, no, no, I'm not digging up a damn thing." "What are you doing?" "You just calling to screw with me?" "No, no, no." "I, I have a proposition, a proposal." "Have you ever written a biography?" "What?" "Ok." "I see what's going on here." "You're just a crazy person." "Yes, apparently, because I think you have half a brain." "And I need it to help me distill a life of an incredible person into a couple dozen thousand words." "But..." "I mean, I've got a book deal with Random" "House and a pub date, you know?" "I mean, what do you got?" "Nothing." "Well, I got the truth of his last 10 years." "I give you access to all the fun stuff there... sheet music and drafts of his lyrics." "Ok, ok, hold on." "Let's just talk this through for a second, will you?" "All right, so I write this bio." "We write this bio." "We write it?" "Like together?" "Wh..." "Ok, I call left side of the keyboard." "No, we co-author it." "Your... your name goes on the spine right under mine." "Ok, Hannah, I have an advance." "Well... well, Hunter's life insurance policy wasn't huge, but, I can do $40,000." "Are you kidding me?" "Jack it up." "Jack it up." "What do you mean, jack it up?" "It's like five times my advance, plus she's giving me the keys to the kingdom." "$50,000." "That's all I got." "Ok, look, take your time." "Think it over." "I tell you what, Ms. Miles." "You just bought yourself a typist." "Yes!" "What?" "Really?" "Ok." "So I..." "I guess that means that you'd be coming up here." "Yeah, yeah." "We, we got spring break coming up." "I have a guest room." "You could, you could stay in the... in the guest room." "Yeah, yeah, no, I guess that would work." "Ok, well, I will see in vacation land." "I will bring my swim trunks." "Ha." "Sunlight" "Keep me on a." "Worn out my welcome." "Sing you never in a song." "Oo-oo." "Ok." "Strange man into our house." "Hi." "Hey." "Hey." "Look at these guys." "Have no fear." "Look at that." "These are the hounds." "This is Ripkin." "This is Lover." "Ripkin." "Lover." "Excellent." "Hi, I'm Andrew." "Hello." "Yeah." "That's what I smell like." "Yeah, ok." "He's not shy." "Ok." "We'll take you in here." "Yeah." "Come on." "In we go." "Bed time." "Bed time." "Hello again." "Hi." "Yeah." "You know, it's, nice to be in business with you." "How were the roads?" "I'm unmarked, tractionless, waking nightmares, no blindness." "You..." "Yes, no, yeah, please." "That would be helpful." "I mean don't get me wrong." "I know I find moonlight as romantic as the next guy." "But kiss my ass if I'm expected to drive by it." "Ha." "All right." "You city people, you have this whole "don't mess with me"" "exoskeleton." "But you're generally just such pussies." "I mean this will be done by the morning." "It's just a tease." "Sure you don't want some tea or something to help you..." "No thanks, no, no, no." "That's all right." "No, you know what?" "Maybe you could just show me where I'll be warehousing myself this evening." "And there I shall build a cocoon of many blankets." "Call my gal." "Let her know I survive." "Very worried." "But I will rise again." "I'll tell you that." "I'll be ready and raring to dive into my new job." "At that point, I'll drink your tea." "And by then, maybe just... just maybe" "I'll have forgiven you for just calling me a pussy." "Right?" "Boy." "Hello there." "You're right." "You're right." "You're sleeping." "My fault." "You got it." "Dick move!" "Dick move!" "You're..." "You're his enabler." "Hello." "That's the walk of shame." "So, this is where the magic happens?" "If, smashing your head against the screen is magic, then yes." "What you got so far?" "You have one of those drawers in your kitchen full of unrelated items, like, the small appliance manuals, dead batteries, egg beaters, how he lost his virginity, his go-to joke, his theories on why Thursday was the greatest" "day, and everything else that I can't forget." "In no apparent order." "Nothing stinks like a pile of unpublished writing." "Quote Sylvia Plath before preheating herself to 350." "Yeah, well, enter the dragon." "So I guess we can, start with my notes." "It's kind of like a book without any verbs." "Yeah, sure." "But what about his notes?" "You know, did he keep a journal, song ideas, things like that?" "No, it was mostly in his head." "I do have the last interview he did." "Yeah, Hannah, look, I'm all for diving right in." "But I can't start thinking about the beginning of the story without knowing how it... you know." "Right." "He should've been home by then." "His cell kept going to voice-mail." "So I thought he must be still up there." "There's no reception up there on Tumbledown." "It got dark." "And I drove the roads, looking for him pulled off with a flat tire or having hit a deer... worst case scenario." "And then I saw his truck at the trailhead." "And later, they went up the mountain with flashlights and dogs." "And... in the middle of the night, in a shallow ravine, they found him." "He was rock climbing?" "Hiking." "Had he never been on that trail before?" "Nope, he'd done it 100 times in the same pair of boots that I got him our first Christmas in Maine." "You know, sometimes you make a little mistake." "You bump your knee, get a bruise." "Other times, you make a little mistake, and you fall off the face of a mountain." "I'm so sorry." "It's the least interesting thing about him." "Can we work on his life now?" "Yes, yeah, of course." "But you know, I..." "I really think I should go up there sometime." "Why?" "To satisfy your morbid curiosity?" "Sure, I mean maybe my dad will take you up there." "That is if you get to meet them." "Maybe at Easter or something." "Will they be joining me in the guest room for spring break?" "No." "They live in town." "They do a big Easter dinner thing." "It's a..." "Yeah, don't worry." "You're totally off the hook." "What are you talking about?" "I earned my master's in American Studies." "Family gatherings are my bread and butter." "I just... this, the thing I was talking about earlier." "It's on the, just..." "Thank you." "Ok." "Of a friend." "How know who I was then." "How know who I am now." "Love take away how we need it." "Salvation's pain glory be." "Follow me down on this road." "One more hand to lay gold." "Hey, dude." "You know, this thing's out of tune." "Yeah." "It sat by the fire too long, probably." "That'll do it." "Plus I'm playing it left-handed and don't know what I'm doing." "There's that, too." "Those three things..." "Definitely." "Add up to what you're hearing." "I'm going into town to interview this," "Yeah, I'll be back soon." "Is someone the new owner?" "I'll come with." "No, no, not that." "I, work freelance for a local paper and write these little community portrait things." "That is very sweet." "Ok." "I'm late." "Work hard." "Ok." "So tell me what you ate for your birthday." "The Lord's largest whoopie pie with 88 candles on it." "And I blew out those puppies all by myself." "Are you going to tell me what you wished for?" "Can't do that, Hannah." "Hey." "It's called investigative journalism, guys." "Ok?" "Your mom's paying to do this." "All right?" "Go, go, go, go, go, go!" "Right!" "Have fun, all right?" "And consider what I said about Jessie's kid." "Kenny Roy... he's one big hunk of manchild." "Keep it in your pants, sister." "Shush." "This is my interview." "Happy birthday, my dear." "Yeah, Hannah, you want to know what I wish for?" "Off the record." "Not if it's going to break the rules." "No, there are no rules to it, sweetheart." "I wish to keep living in the present, to die just as happy as I was at my birthday party, ad to be reincarnated as my granddaughter's cat." "Next Friday's paper, Esther." "Keep your eyes peeled." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Back inside!" "Back inside..." "No, please." "Are you kidding me?" "Hey!" "Guys, guys, guys, come here!" "No, no, no!" "Look it!" "You...!" "What do you think?" "It's freezing cold." "Hey, hey, you're back." "I didn't see, see you get here." "Hey, what's everybody doing out here in a state of undress?" "I'll give you two guesses." "You didn't..." "Yeah." "Yes I did." "No, I, took them on a walk and locked all the doors by instinct." "Yeah, very primal." "Our Neanderthal cousins were constantly locking themselves out." "Yeah." "This is one wet t-shirt contest I don't know want to win." "I'll get a fire going." "Wow, you're still freezing?" "Thank you." "Yeah." "Hunter was prone to the bone chill, too, if he wasn't wearing his long johns." "I mean he wore two pairs the day we got married." "Well, you know, special occasional and all." "We had a whole spring wedding planned." "You know, daffodils were just coming up, and days were getting longer, and a foot of snow the day before we were supposed to get married in my parents' backyard." "So Hunter says, come one, Buttercup." "Put your snow shoes on." "And we clamber up and say our vows on top of Bald Mountain." "Hunt said whole world was wearing a wedding dress that day." "The man was a poet." "I'd been made redundant, so I decided to wear magenta." "Plus you would have been camouflaged, right?" "Hannah, do you take this man to be your..." "Wait." "Hannah?" "Hannah, are you there?" "I don't see you." "Hannah, are you there?" "I can't see you." "Hannah, you all right?" "Hey Curtis." "What are you..." "What's going on?" "The whole county's gone black." "Right." "Well, great timing." "Looks like we're going to have to ride this one out till morning." "God, you are wicked pretty with your hair...!" "Who are you, if you don't mind my barging in?" "This is my friend, Andrew McCabe." "We were at college together." "And he's just..." "This is Curtis." "He provides light for western Maine, and..." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "And single-handedly keeps the deer population under control." "Well..." "Yeah, you make deer condoms?" "Ha, kidding." "Hey, speak of the devil." "Got some venison from the deep freeze." "Looks like I thawed out a bit more than I could chew." "Curtis, that's... that's sweet." "Here, let me take it from you and get..." "Ok." "There we go." "I'll, cook it up tonight." "You want... you want to stay?" "What?" "Hannah, no." "I, I wouldn't want to interrupt you and your old friend catching up on whatever, et cetera." "So, that's a good thing about being a hunter, Andy, is that even when the gatherers are up a creek because they realize they haven't put away enough nuts and seeds to lat a winter, a hunter," "he can find himself dinner any day of the week as long as he can sniff out the right dung, keep a steady shot." "Yeah, boy, I hear you loud and clear." "Couldn't agree more." "I dont' think I can get on in the city without my Glock." "You know, when things get really nasty, and I haven't been able to gather up enough takeout menus," "I just head up to the park, blow up a beaver." "Which I'd probably go for the raccoon first." "Yeah?" "Why's that?" "More white meat." "Yeah, good tip." "Appreciate that." "So Curt, what do you, do for fun up here?" "Is it, too cold for ice cream?" "That's all right, Hannie." "I..." "Sure I'll be up licking the crack of dawn tomorrow." "But it sure was nice meeting your smartass buddy." "I look forward to our next rendezvous." "Hey." "Hey." "Sometime we should, we should get dinner in a dump." "That's very neighborly of you to, check in on me." "I will, see you sometime?" "What?" "Wh..." "I didn't say anything." "What do you..." "What are you..." "What are you talking about?" "Aw, come on." "I did what?" "It's very rare for me to get to dine with the execution and its executioner." "That's all." "No, you don't know me well enough to bust my chops." "Here." "What?" "Here, come on." "Get over there unless you want to die of cold." "No, no thank you." "Honestly, I think it's great." "No, seriously though." "I think it's good." "I think it's a good thing for you to be getting back on that horse." "And that guy... boy." "What a thoroughbred." "Hold on, young lady." "You, you might be falling in love again." "Good for you." "I've known him since high school." "And he's awesome in bed." "And that's all he is." "Wow." "Never had any intention of, hearing you say those words." "There they are." "Hey." "But seriously..." "What?" "If I freeze to death..." "I just want you to know this is..." "This is some of the weirdest shit I've ever dealt with in my life." "You're welcome." "Good night." "No, It's actually pretty nice out." "Well, it's Easter, so I assume we'll be beheading the sacrificial lamb before dinner, right?" "Ok." "Hold on a sec." "What?" "You know, you really don't have to do this." "Why don't you just take the truck home." "And there's a nice bottle of Macallan under the kitchen sink." "No, no, no, no." "I'm solid as a rock." "Yeah, and hungry." "This is going to be great." "Great." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "All right?" "Hey hon, we're here, so I should really get rolling." "Yeah." "No, I'm, curious what I can discover from the rest of the flock." "Hello?" "Hi!" "Happy Easter!" "Hello!" "Hey!" "It smells good." "The gang's all here." "Hi." "Hey, hey." "Hey, you grew a beard?" "Incoming." "My God." "Where did you get that?" "Fresh fruit!" "Be still my heart." "Yeah, I caught it, Mom, in my world wide web." "Dad, can you, do me a favor and just, set another place?" "I brought a friend along." "What... what?" "You couldn't tell me?" "I hope I have enough food." "All right, everybody..." "It's fine." "Pretend to be normal." "Right." "You know what, better still." "Just... just sit her next to me." "Yeah, actually it's a... he's a... a he." "Andrew." "Andrew?" "He's a friend of a friend and from L A." "He's doing research on lakefront property in western Maine." "He's a contractor." "Well, where is he?" "Is he incredibly thin or something?" "He's in the car on the phone." "Yeah, that's L A." "So L A. So L A." "No, no, Mom, I'll get the door." "I'll get the door." "No, no, I'll get it." "I'll get it." "I'll get it." "Hello." "Hi." "I'll get the door." "Welcome." "Come in here." "Hi." "Ho, ha ha." "Hello, how you doing?" "Aw." "Hi." "Nice to me you." "I'm..." "I'm Andrew." "Happy Easter." "No, not Easter." "Passover." "Both?" "Well, I'm Linda." "Real estate holder in the state of Maine." "Great." "My God." "Are you really working all over the holiday?" "Isn't your family sore?" "Well, what family?" "No, I'm joining yours." "Aw." "It smells great in here." "It's a pleasure having you." "Hey." "Nice to be had." "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "The gang's all here." "This is my other lovely girl..." "Yes." "Shannon." "This is my lovely boy, Seth." "Hi." "Nice to meet you." "And this is his special friend, Megan." "Come on, guys." "Let the man wipe his boots off." "Bruce Jasperson." "Pleasure." "Nice to meet you." "Welcome." "Shannon, will you, give Andrew a tour of the place." "But don't take him into my office." "It's very, very messy." "She just says that because she thinks messy means creative and spontaneous." "You're so hilarious." "Nice meeting you all." "I'll see you after the, after the tour." "Good luck." "All right, Shannon..." "How could not not tell us?" "You know how overjoyed I am?" "Well, Happy Easter." "Well, how long is he here?" "Can he come with us to the Bogarths' maple syrup barn party?" "Yeah." "And what about Matt Froh's band is playing." "So all of Farmington will be there." "Whoa, whoa, Mom, just, you know, get all the joy that you want out of him tonight because after his business is done, he'll be long gone." "Sweetheart." "There there." "This is our wall of shame." "Yeah?" "Yes." "My parents love to frame the best and worst thing we've ever done." "Yeah." "It's constantly challenging us." "Yes." "And up for revision." "Wait a minute." "Yeah." "Wait a minute." "Hannah wrote a book?" "Seasonal motifs poem stuff." "It's a very long title." "I can't really..." "Plus she gets two best prizes for some reason." "Yes, like she never did anything wrong." "P H frigging D." "From Brown." "Couldn't get into Harvard." "Well..." "Ha!" "And Seth's room is upstairs." "It's sort of creepy." "All right." "Look at this." "Right over here, Andrew." "This is you." "Who needs more sauce?" "Everyone good for..." "Well, Doctor." "Andrew, right here." "This is you." "Let's all take our seats." "Ahem, here we go." "Smells delicious, Dad." "Let's join paws for a sec here." "We are grateful today to Mother Nature and Mother" "Nurture for the abundant food on this table and the not entirely unattractive family around it." "Amen." "We remember those who are with us in spirit." "And a special welcome to our new friend, Andrew." "Thank you." "Well, let's dig in. everybody." "Enjoy your food, right?" "Right." "Here we go." "Wow, it looks amazing." "Amazing." "Days" "So Andrew, what's the insider's scoop on our lakefront prices?" "Do you think Maine's going to explode like the Boston suburbs after the crash?" "Is Maine going to explode?" "Yeah." "I am such as sucker." "I'm 29 and still renting." "So what do you think, Andrew?" "Do you think I should buy?" "Or is... is the market still softening?" "You know, actually I think" "Andrew's specialty is in commercial real estate, right?" "And, who wants to talk about work over Easter dinner?" "I do." "Me." "Yeah, I'd love to." "Talk about it any time, you know?" "Breakfast, lunch, snack time, dinner." "I mean, I'm a Realtor, you know?" "It's my passion." "Ha ha." "How'd you catch the real estate bug, Andrew?" "Are your folks big land holders?" "Sure..." "Yeah, you ever heard of Wyoming?" "Ok." "All right." "All right." "Hold your horses." "I care." "I care." "Yeah, she's curious." "It's all right." "Well actually Mom, Andrew's research is for more personal reasons." "He's an associate professor for American" "Studies at Hofstra University." "And he's here researching a paper about Hunter." "And when I say paper, I mean more like a biography that I have hired him to write with me about Hunter." "Really?" "So there's nothing going on here, you mean?" "No." "No, and he has... not that it matters, he has a girlfriend." "Yeah." "And can we not talk about this while he's sitting right here?" "Well, fuck-a-doodle-doo." "And here I thought maybe the clouds were lifting." "You know, Mom, it's not actually any of your business." "So you're just eating my manicotti and happily lying to my face?" "Jeez." "Ok, I'm..." "I'm sorry." "Can we... can we start again with this, please?" "My... my real name is still Andrew McCabe." "You know, I'm just..." "I'm just the help." "I wasn't briefed on the classified nature of my employment." "You know, I am really hoping to interview each and every one of you, if you're willing to contribute to what I believe will be a very beautiful book someday." "That is unless I just got fired." "My food got cold." "Meatball?" "Yes, yes sir, thank you." "There's a spoon in the bowl." "You're absolutely right." "You're absolutely right." "No, heap it up." "No." "You don't have to do that." "A spoon's a better way to go." "Well, all right." "Need any help?" "No." "Well, I wanted to thank you for including me in such a delicious feast, Mrs. Jasperson." "The manicotti was dry." "Well, I gobbled it right up." "You sure did." "Hey, so are you a fan of Hunter's music?" "So what is this?" "The interview portion of the program?" "Sorry, but I don't support the whole project." "Gotcha." "Back to balderdash it is." "Not a problem." "No." "See, it is." "She will never break this endless cycle of keeping Hunter around." "Well, you know, maybe this is her way of ending that chapter of her life." "Ho, no, no, no." "She does care a great deal about his legacy, you know." "His legacy is 12 songs." "Does the world care that much?" "You'd be surprised." "Yeah, and what do you care about?" "Is this your golden ticket to tenure at some school where there's ivy on the walls?" "A fan." "It was my son." "That's what he was to me." "Of... of course." "I'm sorry." "Well, what was he like?" "It's kind of hard to tell from just listening to the music." "There was darkness in the man, but he was one of a kind." "And she felt lucky to be considered his equal." "Well, Hannah's a pretty smart cookie herself." "Yeah, you think so?" "I know so." "But she can't think her way out of this one." "What is in here?" "Boy." "Ok." "Who knows?" "This is heavy." "All right." "All right, that was interesting." "Hey." "I got a question for you." "No, that wasn't my real mother." "Here." "Your prize for lying to my folks." "Not that you were very good at it." "Seriously though, like, why do you want to write this book?" "Because I had so much love left in my arsenal, and I never got to spend it." "'Night." "Hey, Hannah." "I kind of dug your family." "Easy, Carl Lewis." "What are you doing?" "Holy smokes." "Watch the ice here." "What ice?" "Kidding, Bruce." "Those are jokes." "I thought you invited me over for French toast." "What's in with the bag o' peat?" "I thought as long as the boys are having their fun, we could be productive." "Ok." "You got to plant the seeds early, honey." "Try thinking more about the future." "Thank you." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "There you go." "Come on." "Jesus, you're quick." "Boy." "All the days I forget my pedometer?" "If we want to reach the pond up top, we have to get through Fat Man's Misery..." "Not unlike crawling up a chimney." "You want the best lookout, we can hit the Lemon Squeeze where you make like a piece of bologna between slices of toast." "Or we can stop here, eat some granola, and pay our respects." "Wait, this is it?" "It's where they found him." "I always figured probably on his way down, it was getting dark." "Yeah." "He was out on that ridge above you there." "Yeah." "Good Lord." "That is no joke." "Got spooked by some animal jumped out on the trail." "He just lost his footing." "Bruce, we both know he didn't lose his footing, right?" "Wouldn't you say he was a pretty tortured guy?" "Real question for you here, Andrew..." "Who do you think you are?" "I studied guys like him for years." "You know, Hunter's pretty textbook." "If... if you really, really listen to him..." "like it hasn't occurred to anyone, right?" "Yeah, it never occurred to us." "So thank you, wise one from the island of tall buildings, for the teaching us native folk how it is." "Now, you just have to nurture them?" "Like they're your own children." "Smooth segue to my ovaries." "Listen." "Every year presents a milestone." "Knocking out your baby teeth, graduating, heavy petting." "Ew." "When you're old, there are only two milestones left... grandchildren and death." "And you just pray that one comes before the other." "I know." "I know I'm impatient, but I've tasted all the juicy stuff except this one thing." "You know, Mom, I used to think that I wanted children." "Now I just want llamas." "So many llamas." "Just take one step." "Yeah, do a date on the internet and cut this hair." "Jesus." "Just take a break from this morbid writing project." "Wow." "Cue the salt in the wound." "Hey, it's time to call up your old friends, lipstick and the eyeliner." "These are like raw eggplant." "Ok." "Three strikes, I'm out." "You need a little perking up." "No, I do not need anything." "Just a little bit." "Just a smidge." "You're just going to leave me?" "Of course." "Of course." "No, it gets dark at 4:00 PM." "Bedtime." "Who needs coffee?" "Like I said, the gatherers always get screwed." "Howdy, Curt." "You here to discuss the food chain a little bit more?" "How's it go?" "She's a real Maine girl, that Hannah." "You're telling me." "She likes a good man." "A real man." "A man that smells like pine resin, not Pierre Cardin." "I've got no claim on her, Curtis." "Hell, if you guys procreate, it might even out the gene pool, yeah?" "Really nice seeing you." "My God." "Are we going to do this bullshit?" "What are you going to do?" "Kick my ass?" "Not saying that you couldn't." "You'd destroy me." "There's not a soul in this town that wants to see her going with a flatlander like you." "You're going to crawl back into that exhaust hole you came from." "All right, Curtis." "Curtis Brown." "We live in the slow lane, not a gravel ditch." "Where are your manners?" "Andy?" "Go screw yourself." "Please and thank you." "Aw, come on." "You all right?" "Yeah." "No, I'm fine." "Just helping everybody work through their issues." "He didn't pee on you." "No, surprisingly, no." "He did not pee on me." "No, I didn't even know that would be an option." "No, he just threw down the gauntlet." "That's, kind of sweet." "No, it is not sweet." "No." "Come on!" "What are you talking about?" "This isn't quaint or kooky small-town charm." "You know, and I got to be honest with you." "I am sick of the forest and all the crazy little creatures who live in it." "You drag me up here to write thie book with..." "Ok Snow White." "Nobody is holding you hostage." "You leave in two days, right?" "You can leave tomorrow." "My God!" "Can you just be a chick for like a second and say, there, there, poor thing?" "Or some shit?" "Please?" "Some shit." "Thank you." "Was that so hard?" "Now, I don't know about you, but I would kill for a overpriced meal at a mediocre restaurant." "Shall we?" "Dinner in a dump." "Purely for journalistic reasons," "I will choose dinner in a dump." "Excellent." "I've got to see what this is all about." "Let's do it." "There we go." "Hubba bubba, look at that." "We have a gusher." "I can't believe we go out to eat, and you order the one thing on the menu that anyone could make with their eyes shut." "You know, people who can't toast Eggos can boil a bug." "What are you talking about?" "Someone had to cut this lemon wedge right here." "They had to melt the butter." "It's a lot of stuff involved." "Man, man." "Look at that." "Are you ever getting the eye from the woodchucks at the bar over there." "Hi." "Me or her?" "You see, around here, everybody keeps tabs on everyone else." "And everyone else is really sure I ought to be moving on." "You never, thought about moving to New York?" "Manhattan?" "No?" "Living in the big city?" "A change of scenery might help." "No." "It's not the kind of thing that you can take a vacation from." "It's who I am now." "I mean you try to seem normal, right?" "But here's the thing that looms so large in your life, you can't even see around it." "You know, you can't dress yourself because it's blocking your closet." "I guess you could technically say that I'm..." "I'm depressed." "No, no, you are not depressed." "That is not depression." "That is just flat out certified grief, you know?" "That's normal." "That's natural." "I mean it's not like you're waking up at noon or Skyping with your therapist during office hours, like me and half my colleague do." "What have you got to be so depressed about?" "Are you serious?" "Yes." "Me?" "Tons of stuff." "I do." "I mean little things, you know, like having a bunch of smartass students that don't have a single, original thought in their head." "That's depressing." "Big things... my dad passed away way too early." "That's tough, you know?" "I mean the smallest thing can set me off with that." "You know, like the fall of light through a window or a stack of old newspapers." "That's true, though." "But you know, my old man took his life when I was a kid." "You know, so..." "Now there, that's a guy you though you knew, but surprise." "Do they do free refills on booze here?" "Or how does that work?" "That's terrible." "Yeah, yes, it was terrible." "Yeah." "It was a long time ago." "And that's what serotonin reuptake inhibitors are for anyway, right?" "You're medicated?" "Not currently, no." "But a couple more weeks up here, and I may have call my dealer..." "I mean doctor." "What's going on, boss?" "Nothing." "Just, you know, talking about stuff." "Hannah, care to join me on the dance floor?" "Of course." "Great." "Yeah." "Definitely." "Go scoot your boots." "Five... five songs?" "Five hours." "Five minutes." "Ok." "I mean I've spent my entire adult life in the city, ok?" "I've sat front row at the Garden." "I..." "I've dined at some vary hip spots." "I mean, I done seen some crazy shit, ok?" "But this is what Saturday night is all about." "Yeah." "For some of us, it is." "That's great." "That's great." "Isn't it weird?" "You spend your life trying not to die some way or other, and then when something really terrible happens, you just wish it were you and not them." "Yeah, well, I'm glad it wasn't you." "Right, there's no way that you would pay your $40 grand to write my biography." "I'm pretty sure it was $50 grand." "Don't look at me like that." "Yeah." "I mean he's a lot closer now, isn't he?" "Stay calm." "Can we go?" "Put it in reverse and leave." "Yeah, that's what I was doing." "Wait, you took out the whole rental insurance, right?" "No, I'm not too worried about it." "I'm sure those scratches will, you know, just buff right out." "Are you done for the night?" "No, I mean no, not if you're not." "Ok." "Come on." "We're getting out." "All right." "What were you thinking?" "Ta da." "There's more." "Come on." "Where the hell are you taking me?" "You'll see." "There may well be a raccoon in here, so brace yourself." "Here, wait, let me just get this." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "God, it's freezing in here." "This is amazing." "I'll put the heater on." "Yeah." "Whoa." "This is..." "I..." "I can't believe th..." "I mean this is..." "This is what I'm talking about." "Yeah." "This is the guy we all want to know." "Yeah." "Holy shit." "Look at all this." "I Can't believe this." "Boy boy." "This is incredible." "I..." "Hey, Hannah, thank you." "Thank you for letting me in." "I'll erase your brain later." "Agreed" "Agreed, yes, absolutely." "Yeah." "May I?" "Sure, go ahead." "Knock yourself out." "Yeah?" "Boy." "The..." "Yeah." "Analog, of course." "Wait, wait." "These aren't..." "God, no." "Those babies are in a safety deposit box." "That's just, antique blank canvas." "Yeah." "Man." "Yes." "Now we're talking." "Vinyl collection of the gods, you know?" "Great." "Love it." "Yeah, well, you know, he had his muses." "Don't we all?" "This is really good." "Hilarious." "I haven't seen on of these in a while." "What is that?" "It's a four-track." "It's still plugged in and everything." "Wait." "Don't... don't..." "You, me, and the trees shall know." "Maybe in the cold, cold snow." "Like going away to go." "I'm a pebble on the pond of life." "Wait." "What are you doing?" "No, I..." "I..." "I... don't..." "Can you go back to the house?" "What song is that?" "I..." "I don't know." "I don't know." "What do you mean, you don't know?" "How..." "I don't know." "Can you go back to the house, please?" "Yeah." "Son of a bitch." "Ok, no running out of breath this... this time." "Here we go." "Way up Little Jackson." "There's a split in the stone." "Where I lose myself to time." "Is there more than flesh and bone?" "Standing in the cold, cold snow Only you, me, and the trees shall know." "Maybe in the cold, cold snow It gets low way to go." "What is it?" "Is it a whole album?" "I... is it any good?" "Yeah, I mean there's a... there's a song." "And I mean..." "I don't know." "There's like one song, at least one." "Or a part of one." "But she definitely knew nothing about it." "And you don't get to hear it?" "I have no idea." "I mean she could be ripping it to shreds as we speak." "This track may never see the light of day." "All I know is there was a ghost in that room." "Hello?" "Andrew?" "What's going on?" "Hi." "Hey!" "Finley." "Is everything ok?" "Yeah." "I hopped on the 6:00 AM to Portland." "Don't know what happened, but somehow" "the cab ended up being..." "Stay." "Stay." "$248." "Stay!" "I definitely only had enough money for tip." "Crazy expensive, Maine." "Right." "Yeah." "So good to see you." "That's incre..." "Hannah." "This is Finley." "Right here, in the flesh." "Finley." "I'll..." "I'll..." "I'll go grab my wallet and get cash for her." "How are you, Hannah?" "My gosh." "I've heard so much about you." "He adores you." "And as a person in the music industry," "I just want to say that we all grieve the sudden loss of your husband." "You,too." "I..." "I mean, thank you." "I mean." "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this." "I just didn't know how good you were at keeping secrets." "Terrible." "You shouldn't tell me anything." "Here it is." "Got it." "$100." "I'll leave you two to..." "All right, yeah." "She's cute." "Yeah, no, I guess so." "Yeah." "I'll be right back." "Bedroom's right there." "It's, it's so good to see you." "Not bad?" "Can't you imagine a little cabin up here for a couple weeks in the summer?" "Just reading, and swimming, and napping, and..." "Easy, easy." "Sorry, Papa Smurf's a little chilly." "Well, why don't we warm him up?" "Because I've missed you." "No, no, no." "Wait, wait, wait." "Shoot, where's she going?" "God, do you think she took it?" "Way up Little Jackson there's a split in the stone." "Here I lose myself to time." "Also rend flesh and bone." "Forgive me, baby." "I should have told you." "What can I say?" "You were always better at this than I ever was, anyhow." "I love you, Hannah." "Jeez." "Hey, Hannah, it's, Andrew." "Not sure where you are, or ended up." "But Finley and I are going to head to that maple syrup barn party thing that your mom invited us to." "And, well, I hope you're doing all right." "And I'll see you there, I guess." "Hey." "Hi." "Hey, where's Hannah?" "She's been AWOL, like all day." "No, we didn't expect her to show." "I mean it's just, you know, it's their, her wedding anniversary." "That was today?" "Yeah." "Fin, honey." "Hi." "We're going to roll." "I missed you!" "Ho." "I want to climb you." "Yeah, we're a little wild tonight." "Bye." "Bye-bye." "All in... in here!" "Whoa!" "Hey, Finley." "Happy anniversary." "What did you think of the song?" "I don't... what are you..." "What are you talking about?" "You forgot to rewind." "It's all right." "I don't blame you." "What did you think of it?" "I thought it was beautiful and incredibly sad." "No." "Not sad." "What do you think I should do with it?" "You're asking me?" "Well then, well, if you love somebody, set them free, right?" "Right." "Sting?" "I think that might have been the Dalai Lama first." "And then Sting played some incredibly obscure instrument behind that." "Yeah." "Did he have any idea how lucky he was?" "He was lucky." "Until he was profoundly unlucky." "I know how you feel." "Yeah." "All that concern you have how and why you lost him." "What?" "He doesn't deserve this." "You know?" "He couldn't bear the weight, so he put it all on you." "He traded you for some poetic notion of immortality." "No." "Andrew, he..." "Yeah, it's all in..." "In those lyrics." "I mean, lay me in the snow where I..." "Where I lose myself to time." "Is there more than flesh and bone?" "And then at the end, he..." "I mean he just..." "I mean, he tells you." "I mean he's giving up." "So sorry." "All this time, and you've just been gathering evidence for some suicide theory." "That's..." "No, that's not... that's not true." "Because, well..." "Well, whose suicide are you trying to figure out?" "Great." "Ok, psychoanalysis?" "We're going to do a little..." "Ok, because..." "I mean because those lyrics..." "If we're honest about those lyrics, it seems to me..." "Andrew, the song means nothing." "How can you say that?" "Because I wrote it." "What?" "It's a poem." "It's my little jokey poem about making frostbitten love on top of Little Jackson." "Hunter set it to music for a surprise, or I don't know what." "It..." "Lay me in the snow doesn't mean bury me." "You're the one who's obsessed with death." "My Hunter was obsessed with life." "Go away." "Go upstairs." "Go to New York." "Do you know where Hunter Miles is buried?" "Right here." "Thanks." "Have you ever heard his song, "Sweet Spring?"" "Wow, right?" "What's your email?" "Muffin8066@outlook." "Outlook" "Ok." "Why?" "I have a song for you." "Share it around if... if you like it." "The truth of the matter is, I raked it in last year." "Kids would much rather hitch a ride on a four wheeler than take the bus." "Coolness factor." "I charge $5." "Marginal profit each ride, but you get to buzz around Franklin County all day." "Demand's high, and chicks dig it." "Feel free to print that." "Well, thank you for the scoop." "Mr. Woodcock." "You know, Ms. Miles, I don't just drive around high school girls, if you... catch my drift." "All righty, then." "Hannah, hear me out." "I did my best to let go, but I had to write it anyway..." "A couple chapters, at least." "And I think we're on to something." "Please forgive me for thinking brilliance comes with torture." "But I'm..." "I'm not from your neck of the woods." "Just read it, please..." "Right now, actually." "Because I'm..." "I'm waiting for you to walk through the door at Upton's bookstore." "I'll be reading "Anna Karenina."" "And if she throws herself under a train, and you haven't shown up yet, I'll..." "Do you come with peace pipe, or bearing musket?" "Hasn't anyone ever told you "no" before?" "Well, not as frequently or emphatically as you have, no." "You just dropped a grenade in my lap." "What do you want me to say?" "I..." "I don't know what I want you to say." "I just like it when you say things." "Do you want to go look at some ice?" "Take a walk?" "Get out of here?" "Yeah, are you kidding me?" "Ice?" "Frozen water?" "It's like my favorite thing in the whole world." "Eight trillion hits on YouTube." "That ain't bad." "I mean, for your first song." "How pissed is your girlfriend?" "I would not know." "I wish you could see this place in the summer." "Yeah." "Do you hear that sound?" "What is that?" "A pod of whales communicating?" "Lake whales, yes." "I always thought God's belly after a burrito." "I don't know." "It sounded like a warning." "Just winter crying uncle." "I love living in a place where you earn your seasons, you know?" "Tough it out." "See the ice return itself to mud." "Slimy reeds become hopeful again." "Hannah, do you feel that?" "I want to." "Would you mind if I kissed you?" "You know, I swam all the way across this lake once." "In the middle, it feels like it will never end." "Yeah, but you made it." "Yeah." "Yeah, I got back." "Please, let me kiss you." "No." "Look at this." "Here you go." "Yeah." "You smell good." "Hannah, you smell like a desert in Hawaii, and long winter's..." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "You ok?" "What's wrong?" "God!" "It's ok." "It's ok." "It's ok, all right?" "I get it." "I'm tell you, he doesn't want you to be a puddle of tears the rest of you life, ok?" "I promise you that, ok?" "It's not..." "It's not what he would want." "Ok?" "You don't get to say that." "Why not?" "Because... because it's a conflict of interest." "How is this supposed to work?" "I mean I am competing with a saint." "What?" "His recording studio is... is... is a shrine." "You know, you've got a single album on your iPod." "Hannah, there's grief, and then there is worship." "Yeah, please stop talking." "I totally fell for it." "Fell for what?" "I paid you everything I had left." "Take the money." "I don't care about the money." "I put you up." "Hell, I'm even putting out!" "And I'm rescuing you." "Ok, I wrote that book so you wouldn't have to." "It's just a bunch of words." "It'll never be enough." "I know!" "I know." "Hunter was an amazing guy." "He really was." "But all I see is the girl that he wrote his best songs about." "And I love the shit out of her." "I mean I love her." "But she loves him." "Hannah." "Hello, how are you?" "I'm so sorry." "She really appreciated all those articles you wrote about her." "We got emails about it for weeks after." "Well..." "Hey." "I hope you got all your wishes." "You're going to come back as one awesome kitty." "Do me a favor." "When you see him, say goodbye for me." "Ethan!" "Ethan Woodcock!" "By the big!" "What are you doing?" "Be careful." "Thanks, Woodcock." "So..."