"It's hard to explain." "It's hard to explain myself." "But I never tell lies." "Everything I say is true, even when I don't say a thing." "Someone always has to die first before anything happens." "Otherwise life just goes on as if there's no problem." "No." "Someone always has to die first." "And then everyone suddenly wakes up." "But it's too late then." "That's why someone had to die." "Every morning I play my game from 5:45 till 6:33." "Always." "I've now reached level 80." "If you don't know what that means, it's just... high." "It means you're strong, respected in the world." "Hundreds of thousands of people online." "But for more than a year," "I've only been playing with her." "REMEMBER, PRINCESS MAY BE A MAN IN REAL LIFE" "YOU ARE YOU" "GLAD YOU ARE YOU TOO" "In games you can be whoever and whatever you like." "Here you can only be one person... the jerk you see in the mirror." "I have to teach him everything." "For example, I have to teach him to laugh." "People like that." "To "give them a smile," as they say, which means smiling when really there's nothing to smile about." "That's how you create your own avatar." "20 seconds for my hands... and 15 for my hair." "You're as strong as your weapons and tools." "My heart rate meter, for example, to keep track of my heart, as they say, for when I get nervous." "Not that it makes me less nervous, but now I can see exactly how nervous I am." "My mother." "Now she's going to say," " "Good morning, Ben."" " Good morning, Ben." "People say that whether it's a good morning or not." ""Good morning, Mom."" "People never say, "Bad morning."" "Did you sleep well, son?" ""Really well, Mom." "It's nice of you to ask." "Thank you."" "Have you seen my troll, Ben?" "My brother Jonas." "He's still small." "I have to be his big brother and all." "Trolls don't have horses." "But somehow I never seem to know how to." "Calm down, Ben." "Calm down." "Easy now, Ben." "Okay?" "Don't take any of it to heart." ""I won't, Mom."" "I won't, Mom." "I won't take heart." "Won't take it to heart." "You are allowed to take heart, son." "Use your head, don't get worked up." "Give me a kiss." "Go on." "I've also got a weapon for fighting noise... other noise, but nicer." "Nicer noise." "I've got to use my head." "Think ahead and think a-heart." "Be prepared, be forewarned." "Forewarned is forearmed." "It's all a matter of planning, of strategy." "I can't say I was taken totally by surprise, but... it just proved that... that everything that'd happened up till now wasn't right." "Before you do something like that, things must be... it simply proved to me that things had just gone too far." "Way too far." "People are strange." "They talk and talk and talk." "And they drink each other's saliva." "All I can do is watch and copy them, imitate them." "Everything I'll never learn." "Because there was always something the matter... with me and with my hand." "Throw it to someone." "This is getting out of hand!" " Wrong." " What's wrong with you?" "I'm the man who's always wrong, but no one could tell me exactly how to be right." "Hi, you faggots!" "Pat's got a new girlfriend." "Sit down, darling." "Not bad, eh?" "When an old girl's in heat, sparks can fly." "Do you know what your hand in her knickers feels like?" "I don't want to know." "Have you ever given a horse a lump of sugar?" "Bogaert and Desmet." "I'm their best friend." "At least, that's what they say." "Oh, there's Benny, our best friend." "Our alien from Pluto." "Living proof that man descended from mussels." " Mussels?" " Hi, Benny-Boy." "The man from Mars!" "Hi!" "Whitney Houston for Benny-Boy." "Over." "Come in, Benny-boy, over." "Over, Benny-Boy." "Do you read me?" "Hey, Benny-Boy." "Masturbation makes you deaf!" "Is anyone home?" "Deaf." "Why did they always come up with that?" "If I sat there playing quietly, they thought my ears weren't working." "The doctor said I could hear perfectly well but I didn't listen." "He doesn't listen." "Then they thought there was something wrong with my eyes." "Can you see what those letters are?" " Yes." " Yes." "Can you tell me what those are?" "Yes." "The idea is that you tell me what the letters are." "C-O-H-Z-V, S-Z-N-D-C," "V-K-C-N-R, K-C-R-H-N," "V-O-R-K, R-H-S-O-N, K-S-V-R-H." "He always looked away as a baby." "He never looked at me." "He always looked through me." "Think of them as a computer that is configured differently." "They see everything." "They see every leaf extremely clearly, but they don't see the tree." "They literally can't see the wood for the trees." "The big picture..." "that's what it's all about." "You have to try to see the big picture and see that they don't see you." " Look where you're walking." " Retard." "Look where you're walking." "Retard." "Whitney Houston for Benny-Boy... we have a problem." "For Benny-Boy, the man from Mars." "There are a couple every year." "Always on their own in the playground." "It breaks my heart to see them, but what can you do?" "You can't nanny them." "You can't hold their hand." "Not now, that's for sure." "I wanted my son to go to an ordinary school." "My wife... my ex-wife... and I sometimes argued about it." "But he was much smarter than some of the other kids there." "10 times smarter." "An understandable question." "Where is God?" "Where is He?" "Where is this man with His long grey beard?" "With all the wars, the poverty and the injustice... where is God?" "People asked themselves the same question in Jesus's time." "Jesus was hanging there on the cross and they said, "Jesus, why don't you do something?" "If your dad is boss of the universe, if you can raise someone from the dead, it's child's play for you." "Click clack and you're free."" "Jesus, himself, wondered too." "What does the New Testament say?" "At the ninth hour, Jesus cried with a loud voice," ""My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?"" "At that moment Jesus himself wonders that too." "He is so humiliated, dispirited, disheartened, that Jesus himself doubts God." "He lets go." "In fact, Jesus commits suicide." "Until he rises from the dead." "Until the resurrection." "And so God..." "God damn it, Bogaert!" "Leave Ben alone!" "It's not the first time I've had to tell you this!" "You're going to be in trouble!" "Ben's just different from you, from the below-average members of the class." "Fortunately for him, if you ask me!" "But you obviously find it very difficult to accept that someone is different." "Or is there something you want to share with us?" "Maybe your thoughts on the text you no doubt studied in detail last night?" " Yeah, okay." " Right." "We're dying of curiosity." "Does anyone know what Jesus said when they took him down from the cross?" ""Hey!" "My feet first!"" "That joke's grown really long whiskers." "My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" "I ask myself the same question numerous times a day." "Whoa whoa whoa!" "Hey!" "Calm down!" "Take it easy." "Don't let them push you around, Ben." "Keep your cool." "Kids like him don't stand a chance." "They're easy prey." "They once stuck a bandage over his mouth and told him the headmaster had said they had to." "He walked round all day with the bandage over his mouth." "He always brought a packed lunch with him, but he never managed to eat it." "But what are you supposed to do?" "What we always do..." "too little." "Nothing." "Here's our favorite boy." "Well, Benny-Boy?" "Our Boy Jesus." "Leave him alone, guys." "Fuck off, Freddy faggot." "It can't be easy, being different, eh, Benny-Boy?" "Whoa!" "Better than average, eh?" "In fact, we should look up to you." "You're the man!" "Calm down." "Don't get worked up." "Don't get worked up." "Just stay calm." "Smile." "They said to keep on smiling." "Then it'll stop." "They'll stop." "Movie time!" "Action." "Faggot!" "Loser!" "Faggot!" "Loser!" "Look at me, son." "If you don't tell me, how am I supposed to know, Vertriest?" "Well, well!" "Look who's here." "My favorite clients." " The 10th visit is free." " Do you know why you're here?" " I don't know." " You really have no idea?" "Is it a quiz?" "Do you think it's funny, Desmet?" "To be honest, I don't think it's the least bit funny." "Apparently you have been... how shall I put it?" " bullying Vertriest." "We teased him, we didn't bully him." "We do it to each other too." "But a normal person realizes it's only in fun, sir." "We try to treat him normally, but normality doesn't come easy for him." "We're not the ones throwing chairs through windows, sir." "It's not easy for us either." "That'll do." "Save the act for the playground!" "As for you... now's the time to open your mouth." "Go on." "Go on, say something." "Tell me what those two clowns did." "But it's easy with hindsight." "Well, easier." "That's to say... you feel like an old campaigner after the war's been lost." "I can't remember how many times I went to all these schools." "Always the same old story." "At this school we try to prepare the pupils for the harsh realities of life." "Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we don't." "About the glass..." "The headmaster said they would let it be..." "Thank you." "...if I let them have another look at me." "I hope we don't meet again soon." "So do I." "And you'll let us know what the doctor decides, whether he'll stay at this school?" "Yes." "Come on, Ben." "Your camera, Ben." "Take a look at it." "Seriously, look at it!" "Come on, Ben." "It can't go on like this, Ben." "It just can't." "They come up with a theory about my personality, my character." "But they don't even know me, and they make me sound like a monster." "And I wonder..." "MARTIAN STRIPS" "Well, son, are you okay?" "Is something wrong?" "Do you want to tell me something?" "No." "You've got a message." "Oh, it's from that girl Scarlite." "When are we going to see her in real life?" "Or doesn't that happen these days?" "I'll leave you to chat, or whatever you call it." "Good night, sleep tight." "Why do they say "sleep tight"?" "How do you sleep tight?" "But she was waiting." "For me." "For me, Ben X. Ben X." "She was waiting... for me." "NOT WELL" "I'M DEAD" "I'M DEAD TIRED" "REVIVE YOU TWO-BIT HERO" "ARE YOU MAD?" "It's nice weather." "Let's go to the hospital again, eh, Ben?" "Let's go and see the doctor." "Tell them everything again." "Dr. Meyvaert will be pleased to see us." "What is everything?" "I wasn't normal." " I was special." " You're special." "They all said so." "Your son is hypersensitive." "He's just sensitive." "Emotionally dysfunctional." "A light form of psychosis." "Just a bit stressed." "Like his mom?" "Let me give you this." "We can always take a closer look." ""Take a closer look." Closer to what?" "WAITING ROOM There's always a camera... that sees everything." "Who's mad and who isn't." "Sir." "It's a waste of time." "Just a waste of time." "You've got to face up to it, Bob." "It can't go on like this." "We need help." "The kid has no business being here." "None." "None whatsoever." "I don't want to lose my mind!" "You won't lose anything." "They said, "Just let yourself go."" "But they wouldn't let me go." "A new line." "Suddenly they knew what it was." "I had a bad brain." "Asperger's Syndrome." "Asperger's Syndrome." "It's a form of autism." "That's what they discovered." "I've got autism." "Or autism has got me." "The man had spent 12 years studying, but hadn't learned to leave his nose alone." "It's not easy." "And it won't get any easier." "But you have to remember that Ben isn't feeble-minded." "On the contrary, he's very strong." "You could almost say strong-minded." "He talks and talks and talks, the man who understands me." "He has extraordinary perception." "In fact, he's an extraordinary boy who, every day, fights to be ordinary." "The question is, should we help him to dispel the illusion that he can live like a normal boy?" "I've heard that his grades are good." " Yes." "Yes." " Excellent even." "So why would we take him out of that school?" "Because he's being bullied to death." "That's why." "Right." "That happens." "It shouldn't, but it does." "At some point, they stick a label on you." "Autism." "Do you see?" "But that word... to me, my child was simply my child." "To me, Ben was Ben." "They're volcanoes." "They're walking volcanoes." "We don't know when they'll erupt." "Time bombs living undercover in our world." "And the reaction often happens much later than the cause." "We'll just carry on like before." "We can do it." "We won't let them get to us." "Then my fingers told her everything." "But she said, "No endgame without me."" "COME" "Come." "END = BEGINNING" "The princess of letters on the other side of the land... who is always by my side when things get out of hand." "Who knows me without knowing my name." "Who could put me back together again." "Who could make me sleep tight." "She said, "Well, man, where's your plan?"" "The one-word plan." ""Let me help you," she said..." ""to rise above it all." "To rise above yourself."" "Calm down, Ben." "Calm down." "What's wrong with you today?" "Got your phone?" "Call me if necessary." "Don't take any of it to heart." "Give me a kiss." "And don't get worked up." "What exactly happened that day?" "Who can say?" "I only knew that he..." "I knew how my son felt by the way he slammed the door in the morning." "It wasn't a bad door that morning." "At least that's what I thought." "HEY MARTIAN, HE WHO TALKS IS GETTING IT" "Me, the Martian." "I'd be getting it." "Getting it." "Getting it." "But getting what?" "I was always getting it." "Always." "Ben?" "Did you see it?" "Did you see what I filmed?" "Yes." "Right..." "I didn't know you were such a Holy Joe!" "Are you okay, son?" "You know you can tell me if something's wrong." "Is there a problem?" " No." " Okay." "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "Did you think that was funny?" " Yes, I thought it was pretty funny." " Am I laughing?" "Maybe you haven't got a sense of humor, sir." "Don't start, Bogaert." "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa." " You're playing with..." " Fire!" "Yes, you're playing with fire." "Can't you take a joke, sir?" "You should defend yourself, son." "Arm yourself against it." "Arm yourself." "Arm myself." "A death cross." "Its costs 350 gold in Archlord." ""If only we'd known," they say." ""If only we'd known."" "What would they have done?" "You see it coming every year." "You see it coming." "Every evening you pray to God that it'll turn out okay." "And usually it does." "But I guess... this time we forgot to pray." "You only know how things turn out." "And we know that now." "I know one thing." "The school will never be the same again." "Hi." "Uh..." "Ben X." "I don't know you in real life, but I still know you really well." "I just want to say that what counts in-game counts in real life too." "You can't play an endgame without your healer, and that's me." "I'm worried about you." "Tomorrow I'll catch a train that gets to where you live at 10:22." "I know you'll be there." "You've never failed to keep an appointment, so... see you tomorrow." " Hi, Martian!" " Hi, Benny-Boy." "Hey, pal, you're so tense." "Let's exchange ideas." "If you have any in that retarded head." "The bus." "My bus." "My always-there bus that drives off." "It's nice here amongst the trees." "Shall we sit on a bench next to each other?" "Beardman told you not to get worked up." "And he's right." "Heart rate: 94." "What's that?" " That's some watch!" " You're spoiled." "Let me see!" "Don't get aggressive!" "Not like last time!" " Take it easy." " You know what'll happen." " We're friends." " You know what'll happen." "Take it easy, Desmet." "We're all friends here." "Jesus, you're really nuts." " Relax." " Call me if necessary." " Yes, Mom." " We're friends, aren't we?" " Hey, what's that?" "Hey!" " What's that?" "A Nokia 3250." "Christ!" "What have you got that for?" "You can't talk, so how can you use a phone?" " We should have it." " It's to text his mommy." "To send text messages?" "Let's see." "Here, look at this." "An MMS from..." "Who's that?" " Frankenstein's got a girlfriend!" " Scarlite." "She's called Scarlite." "Let's see." "Who's that?" "Who is it?" "He's got a girlfriend." " Hey, she's not bad!" " Definitely isn't!" "I just want to say that what counts in-game counts in real life too." "You can't play an endgame without your healer." "Your healer?" "Is she your healer?" "Dealer more likely!" "Incredible!" "Tomorrow I'll catch a train that gets to where you live at 10:22." "Tomorrow at 10:22, at the station, on the platform." "We'll be there too, eh, Desmet?" "We've got to see this!" "We can't miss out on our best friend's first date!" "True or not true?" "Telephone." "Telephone, Benny." " She's phoning him!" " It's Mommy!" "Hello, Mommy." "I'm in the park with my friends." "Leave a message after the beep." "Bye." "Bye, Mommy." "Oops, mailbox." "Let me know where you are, okay?" "Don't you mind being stalked, Benny-boy?" "Always having to listen to bullshit from your mother?" "I'll keep your phone, eh, Benny-Boy?" "What do you think?" " Easy!" "Easy with the crucifix!" " You are mad after all!" "Hey, Benny, telephone." "It's Mommy." "Aren't you going to answer it?" "It's Mommy." "She'll come and get you." "Come on, Ben." "Answer your phone." "My buddy Benny-Boy." "You crazy Martian!" "We're not taking you with us again!" "And to think we had a present for you as well." "Look, this is only for our best friends." "It's a little pill that has a big effect." "It's called a Superman." "Superman." "Open your mouth." "There's a smiley on it, for people like you who never laugh." "Want it?" "Some water to wash it down." "You'll feel just like Superman!" "There!" "Now swallow." "The first one's free because you're our friend." "It'll do you good." "You won't be so aggressive any more." "Here." "So you know what time it is when you go whining to the fatmaster." "I don't believe this!" "Jesus Christ!" "I don't believe it!" "Phone me, please." "What's that, Mom?" "Nothing, son." "It's nothing." "Let's go and look for Ben." "Damn it." "God damn it!" "Damn!" "Damn me!" "Where are you?" "Where are you?" "Feel." "Feel me, Ben." "Ben." "You have to learn to feel if you want to learn to feel good." "Ben!" "What's up, son?" "What happened?" "Are you okay?" "Just look at you!" "Is everything okay?" "What's the matter?" "What's the matter with you, Ben?" "That'll do, son." "It's nothing, Mom." "That's what people always say, it's nothing." "I'm healed, Mom." "I'm really healed." "Completely healed." "Your big brother is Superman!" "Calm down, Ben, please!" "That's enough!" "There's water coming out of your eyes, Mom." "Water is coming out of your eyes but I know what it is." "Salt and moisture." "Salt and moisture!" "People say I don't understand because I don't understand feelings, but I do." "I know what they are." "Do you remember when I was little" "I tried to push those tears back into your eyes?" "It was just because I didn't want you to be sad." "It's all right, Mom." "People always say it's all right and they ask," ""Is everything all right?"" "And then you reply, "Yes, yes!" ""Yes, everything's all right." "Everything is right." "Everything's going right."" "Everything's all right." "Everything's going right." " I'm not crazy." " No!" " Just a bit difficult." " Calm down, Ben." "Yes, I'm a different cult." "But I'm training myself." "I'm training, training, training." "I'm in bits." "But I've been reborn, like in video games." " You always get a new life." " Come on, son." "Let's go home." "Come on, son." "That's it." "And then it was over." "I was over." "Eyes open again, head shut once more." "Ben." "What's that, Ben?" "Why didn't you tell me?" " Ben..." " Then it was time for truthfulness." "Shamefulness, painfulness." "Who did that?" "Tell me, Ben." "Everything can be destroyed so easily." "Everything can be destroyed so easily." "Why couldn't I just be destroyed too?" "Stop it, Ben." "Stop it!" "Jonas!" "Jonas." "Then I saw that jerk standing there again." "And I attacked him." "I'd heard it before, the calling of night falling." "Going right to the end of pain." "How beautiful!" "Blood flowing from a vein." "A bit later my father came round." "My dad, who also never knows what to say." "So I usually understand him that way." "She'd come too." "Sabine, his girlfriend, as he'd always say." "Who always asked how I was holding up." "How are you holding up?" " It can't go on like this." " No, Sabine." "It can't go on like this." "But still, it will have to." "It will have to." "It's not the first time and it won't be the last." "Come on, Sabine." "Leave it." "It's okay, leave it." "Look after him." "The endgame." "The end, the end, the end, the end." "The end, the end, the end." "The end, the end, the end, the end." "The endgame." "The endgame." "Heart rate: 55." "Under 13 and you're dead." "42 to go." "Then you've done it." "You're finished." "42 heartbeats less and you arrive." "Where there's death, there's life." "You can't play an endgame without your healer and that's me." "Tomorrow I'll catch a train that gets to where you live at 10:22." " And I know you'll be there..." " 9:36." "Got to go to the station." "I've got to go to the station." "Calm down." "Calm down, Ben." "GONE OUT DON'T WORRY" "I'll keep your phone." "The station." "The station." "10:22, at the station on the platform." "We'll be there." "We've got to see." "I can't be late." "She shouldn't have to wait." "She who doesn't know what I look like, who I am." "That I'm not there." "But them..." "I knew I'd find her." "I'd smell her, like the dog I am." "There she was." "She'd come." "She'd really come." "For real!" "She was waiting for me." "She was sending a text message." "Probably to me." "To me about whom she can only fantasize, whom she doesn't recognize." "To me who is here with a phone that's disappeared." "Then everything happened so quickly, as they say." "But everything always happens too quickly for me." "She left." "Because she couldn't see the invisible me." "But what my head couldn't do, my legs were able to." "There's the train." "A spaceship that has come to collect us from a barren planet." "Courage is everything." "Doing what you thought you couldn't do." "Her scent was enough." "The scent of a season that had yet to be invented on a continent still to be discovered, but that I could smell miles from the coast." "With her perfect neck turned towards me, she was dreaming up a landscape." "I imagined how I'd place my lips there, staking my claim." "My claim to liberation." "Just sitting here in the warmth from her body, briefly, everything was perfect." "This is a passenger announcement:" "We are about to arrive in Brussels." "Are you okay?" "I had to say something." "Anything." "But the only thing I say is nothing." "All I can do is leave." "And she left." "She just left." "And I just had to leave too." "I was scared stiff." "A mother feels these things." "A hundred times a second I thought," ""Don't let him do anything stupid." "Please don't let him do anything stupid."" "I remember he once asked me," ""How many reasons does someone need to commit suicide?"" "I asked him what he meant by how many." "He said, "How many?" "Two, five, 10?"" "That's what he was thinking about." "He wanted to know if he had enough." "The endgame." "My plan." "The one-word plan." "Murder." "The murder of myself." "Catch the train." "To nowhere." "There is one advantage to killing yourself." "You never have to look far for your victim." "You don't even do it yourself, the train does it for you." "What was his motive?" "A locomotive." "If you think it's all over quickly, you're wrong." "Even if you're lucky enough to be decapitated immediately, apparently your head remains conscious for another 13 to 15 seconds." "So you can imagine that what goes through your mind isn't pleasant." "Seeing bits of your body flying in all directions." "They say that just before you die... your life flashes before your eyes like a film." "So?" "Did you see anything?" " But who..." " Who pushed you?" "Me, of course." "Who else, blockhead?" "You?" "Does he have any distinguishing scars or birthmarks?" "Scars?" "It was already broken, wasn't it?" "Did you notice anything out of the ordinary?" "I don't get it, Ben." "Honestly." "Ben." "Are you the man who escaped from the dungeon of Silancium?" "Who crossed Windrill Desert alone with me?" "Who fought Bailor?" "Who crossed the swamps of Ondekon with me?" "Who conquered Zerdin?" "You're level 80, for God's sake." "And that's your endgame?" "You just throw yourself under a train?" "Was that your plan?" "Just click on exit and log out." ""Gone out." "Don't worry."" "That's good news, isn't it?" "It means he's gone out for a bit and you don't have to worry." "My son doesn't just go out for a bit on a Saturday morning." "He's not able to." "Besides, look." "I found this." "I don't know if you know, Ben, but... in real life dying is fairly definite." "You can't change your mind." "You can die as much as you like." "But not for real." "That's not the way we play, Ben." "You're level 80." "Do you want to quit this world, Ben?" "Go on then, go." "But if you want revenge, take revenge." "Otherwise you're exactly what they say you are, a loser." "Play to win, Ben." "Everything's a matter of planning, of strategy." "Don't you just love Fanta?" "I'm really happy... that you're you." "We'll file a missing person's report and circulate his description nationally." "What about this?" "What are you going to do about this?" "I'll inform our social services unit." "They're familiar with things like that, unfortunately." "Ben!" ""I just wanted to go away," he said." ""But I didn't dare die because I didn't know what that was."" "Was that your big plan?" "Ben?" "How are we going to do it?" "Take poison?" "No." "Imagine if you took poison and then changed your mind." "You'd have to call the Poison Center." ""Hello?"" "The people at the Poison Center get lots of phone calls like that." "That's for idiots." "Or you could hang yourself." "That's cool." "Apparently you die with a huge erection." "But then you shit yourself." "That's not cool being found like that, eh?" "Ben." "Do you know what else they always find under the fingernails of someone who's hung themselves?" "Little bits of rope and skin." "Do you know why?" "Because they always desperately try to get the rope off their neck." "But they can't." "The chair's too far away and they can't reach it." "You think it's exciting, huh, Ben?" "Dying." "Dying." "Then everything is solved in one fell swoop." "Ben is solved in one fell swoop." "Aren't you going to take one last look to see if there's another solution?" "Take one last look around." "You need to be more creative, damn you!" "Shut up, beautiful." "You are so beautiful." ""Assemble a guild," she said." ""Like in Archlord."" "It was her idea." "Some quests are too big for two." ""You have to help me," he said." "So we helped him." "We knew everyone would say that you can't do that." "But that's more or less why I did it." "Smoking's forbidden here, Sabrina." "My name's Sabine." "You should be grateful for not being able to smoke." "Yeah, I'm really grateful." "You'll live half a day longer." "You're not serious, right?" "You're not really going to do this!" "You know you can't!" "I can't do it!" "Sabine, you don't have to do anything." "You insisted on coming." "I don't care whether you come or not but if you think it's easy for us, you're wrong." "Look." "The sea." "The end of the world." "You know what they say, Ben?" "Every end is a beginning." "Anyone want anything to eat?" "Ben?" " Sabine?" " No, thanks." "Don't you feel very well, Sabine?" "Not really, no." "Is this how you want it to be, Ben?" "Right." "Ben, uh..." "I'll..." "Ben!" "Ben!" "I have to put my back into it." "Everything is a matter of thinking ahead." "And thinking a-heart." "Everything is a matter of willpower." "Courage is everything." "Ultimately doing the thing that you can't do." "If you die in a game then you're just out of the game for a while and you have to go and look for your body." "All they found of me was a tape." "And I had gone." "These are particularly disturbing images that once again remind us that one Flemish youngster takes his or her life every week." "In a recent study, 10% of Flemish youngsters between 15 and 18 say that they have attempted suicide at some point." "A very worrying figure." "And now the sports." "At the Indian Wells tournament..." "Everyone here today, members of the family, colleagues, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys... we've all come together today to say goodbye to a very special young man who was taken from us so suddenly" "and tragically." "Ben's life was never easy." "His condition made things very difficult for him." "Maybe we only realize now, when it's too late, that he battled against his handicap, if you can call it that, that was much worse than we could've imagined." "We never really had any real contact with him and won't be able to now." "Today all we can do is accept that some things are just too heavy to bear." "That is why..." "Hello." "Thank you for coming." "I too have come to an end, as they say." "Come to an end." "I died of myself." "Fellow men and un-fellow men... my fight is over." "At the end of your life, they say a film of your life flashes before your eyes." "Here are a few scenes that may interest you." "Go on, Ben." "Now, the endgame." "She called it dying creatively." "Suicide without the dying." "Dying without quitting." "Or quitting without dying." "I had to learn everything." "But I'd forgotten the most important thing." "Learning to lie." "To deceive." "Someone had to die first." "Otherwise you wouldn't have come." "Not for a boy." "You can't keep on begging and asking..." "You're so angry, Mommy." "And asking again and again that something be done to put a stop to it." "That they'd finally stop tormenting my son and making his life... sorry, but it's true... making his life so impossible." "His autism is his problem, but it's not a problem to him." "The others are the problem." "The others." "They have to learn to leave my kid alone." "Ben just wanted to quit." "Now he has." "Fortunately, he's still alive." "He's alive." "In his own world, maybe, but he's alive." "He's alive!" "He's living his life." "She said," ""It's high time to become who you are."" "Just let it happen, Ben." "Don't be scared." "If you want to learn to feel good, you have to learn to feel." "Stroke him." "I've never been what they call happy." "But I've never been this kind of happy." "Beautiful, no?" "You don't have to talk to animals." "Do you dare sit on it, you two-bit hero?" "As soon as people see a horse, they want to sit on it." "But has anyone ever heard a horse ask for that?" "Do you?" "If a horse could choose..." "Yes, well..." "Subtitles by LeapinLar"