"* This is the end" "* Beautiful friend" "* This is the end" "* My only friend" "* The end" "* Of our elaborate plans" "* The end" "* Of everything that stands" "* The end" "* No safety nor surprise" "* The end" "* I'll never look into your eyes" "* Again" "* Can you picture" "* What will be" "* So limitless and free" "* Desperately in need" "* Of some" "* Stranger's hand" "* In a" "* Desperate land" "* Lost in a Roman" "* Wilderness of pain" "* And all the children" "* Are insane" "* All the children" "* Are insane" "* Waiting for the summer rain" "* Yeah" "Saigon," "Shit," "I'm still only in Saigon," "Every time, I think I'm gonna wake up back in the jungle," "When I was home after my first tour, it was worse," "I'd wake up and there'd be nothing," "I hardly said a word to my wife until I said yes to a divorce," "When I was here, I wanted to be there," "When I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle," "I'm here a week now," "Waiting for a mission," "Getting softer," "Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker," "And every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets stronger," "Each time I looked around, the walls moved in a little tighter," "Everyone gets everything he wants," "I wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one," "Brought it up to me like room service," "Captain Willard, are you in there?" "Yeah, I'm coming." "It was a real choice mission," "And when it was over," "I'd never want another," "What do you want?" " Are you all right, captain?" " What does it look like?" " Are you Willard, 505th Battalion?" " Affirmative." " 173rd Airborne?" " Yeah." " Assigned to SOG?" " Hey, buddy, gonna shut the door?" "We have orders to escort you to the airfield." " What are the charges?" " Sir?" " What did I do?" " There's no charges, captain." "You have orders to report to COMSEC Intelligence at Nha Trang." "Now, you see?" "All right?" " Nha Trang, for me?" " That's right." "Come on, captain." "You still have a few hours to get cleaned up." " I'm not feeling too good." " Captain?" "Dave, come here and give me a hand." "We got a dead one." "Come on, captain." "Let's take a shower." " Don't be an asshole." " Get ahold of him good." "We're gonna take a shower, captain." "In we go." "Stand underneath this, captain." "I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn't even know it yet," "Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable, plugged straight into Kurtz," "It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of Colonel Walter E, Kurtz's memory any more than being back in Saigon was an accident," "There is no way to tell his story without telling my own," "And if his story is really a confession," "Captain Willard reporting, sir." "Then so is mine," " Captain." "Good." "Come on in." " Thank you, sir." "Stand at ease." "General." "Do you want a cigarette?" "No, thank you, sir." "Captain, have you ever seen this gentleman before?" " No, sir." " Met the general or myself?" "No, sir." "Not personally." "You've worked a lot on your own, haven't you, captain?" "Yes, sir, I have." "Your report specifies intelligence, counterintelligence with COMSEC I Corps." "I'm not presently disposed to discuss those operations, sir." "Did you not work for the CIA in I Corps?" "No, sir." "Did you not assassinate a government tax collector," "Quang Tri Province, June 18, 1968?" "Captain?" "Sir, I am unaware of any such activity or operation." "Nor would I be disposed to discuss such an operation if it did in fact exist, sir." "I thought we'd have a bite of lunch while we talk." "I hope you brought a good appetite, captain." "I noticed that you have a bad hand there." "Are you wounded?" "I had a little fishing accident on R and R, sir." " Fishing on R and R." " Yes, sir." "But you're feeling fit?" "You're ready for duty?" "Yes, general." "Very much so, sir." "Well, let's see what we have here." "Roast beef, and usually it's not bad." "Try some, Jerry, and pass it around." "To save a little time, we might pass both ways." "Captain, I don't know how you feel about this shrimp, but if you'll eat it, you'll never have to prove your courage in any other way." "Actually, why don't I just take a piece here." "Captain, you've heard of Colonel Walter E. Kurtz?" "Yes, sir, I've heard the name." "Oh, Jesus." "Operations officer, 5th Special Forces." "Luke, would you play that tape for the captain, please?" " Yes, sir." "I'm sorry, sir." " Listen to this carefully, captain." "October 9, 0430 hours, sector Peter, Victor, King," "These were monitored out of Cambodia." "This has been verified as Colonel Kurtz's voice." "I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor," "That's my dream," "It's my nightmare," "Crawling, slithering along the edge," ", of a straight razor," ", and surviving," "Transmission 11, received '68, December 30, 0500 hours," "Sector King, Zulu, King," "But we must kill them," "We must incinerate them," "Pig after pig," "Cow after cow," "Village after village, Army after army," "And they call me an assassin," "What do you call it when the assassins accuse the assassin?" "They lie," "They lie, and we have to be merciful for those who lie," "Those nabobs," "I hate them," "I do hate them," "Walt Kurtz was one of the most outstanding officers this country's ever produced." "He was brilliant." "He was outstanding in every way." "And he was a good man too." "A humanitarian man." "A man of wit and humor." "He joined the Special Forces." "And after that his ideas, methods became unsound." "Unsound." "Now he's crossed into Cambodia with this" "Montagnard army of his that worship the man like a god and follow every order, however ridiculous." "Well, I have some other shocking news to tell you." "Colonel Kurtz was about to be arrested for murder." "I don't follow, sir." "Murdered who?" "Kurtz had ordered the execution of some Vietnamese intelligence agents, men he believed were double agents." "So he took matters into his own hands." "Well, you see, Willard, in this war, things get confused out there." "Power, ideals, the old morality and practical military necessity." "But out there with these natives, it must be a temptation to be God." "Because there's a conflict in every human heart between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil," "and good does not always triumph." "Sometimes the dark side overcomes what Lincoln called "the better angels of our nature."" "Every man has got a breaking point." "You and I have them." "Walt Kurtz has reached his and very obviously, he has gone insane." "Yes, sir." "Very much so, sir." "Obviously insane." "Your mission is to proceed up the Nung River in a Navy patrol boat, pick up Colonel Kurtz's path at Nu Mung Bha, follow it, learn what you can along the way." "When you find the colonel, infiltrate his team by whatever means available, and terminate the colonel's command." "Terminate the colonel." "He's out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct, and he is still in the field, commanding troops." "Terminate with extreme prejudice." "You understand, captain, that this mission does not exist, nor will it ever exist." "How many people had I already killed?" "There were those six that I knew about for sure," ", close enough to blow their last breath in my face," "But this time, it was an American," ", and an officer," "That wasn't supposed to make any difference to me, but it did," "Shit," "Charging a man with murder in this place was like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500," "I took the mission," "What the hell else was I gonna do?" "But I really didn't know what I'd do when I found him," "Did you check the tank?" "Yeah." "I was being ferried down the coast in a Navy PBR, a type of plastic patrol boat, a pretty common sight on the rivers," "They said it was a good way to pick up information and move without drawing a lot of attention, and that was okay," "I needed the air and the time," "Only problem was I wouldn't be alone," "Morning, captain." "The crew were mostly just kids, rock 'n' rollers with one foot in their graves," " How old are you?" " Seventeen." "The machinist, the one they called Chef, was from New Orleans," "He was wrapped too tight for Vietnam," "Probably wrapped too tight for New Orleans," "Lance, on the forward 50s, was a famous surfer from the beaches south of L, A," "To look at him, you wouldn't believe he'd ever fired a weapon in his life," "Clean, Mr, Clean, was from some South Bronx shithole, and I think the light and the space of Vietnam really put the zap on his head," "Then there was Phillips, the chief," "It might have been my mission, but it sure as shit was the chief's boat," "There's about two points where we can draw enough water to get into the Nung River." "They're both hot." "Belong to Charlie." "Don't worry about it." "Don't smoke." "You know, I've pulled a few special ops in here." "About six months ago," "I took a man who was going up past the bridge at Do Lung." "He was regular Army too." "Heard he shot himself in the head." "At first, I thought they handed me the wrong dossier," "I couldn't believe they wanted this man dead," "Third-generation West Point, top of his class," "Korea, airborne, about a thousand decorations, et cetera, et cetera," "I'd heard his voice on the tape and it really put the hook in me," ", but I couldn't connect up that voice with this man," "Like they said, he had an impressive career," "Maybe too impressive," "I mean, perfect," "He was being groomed for one of the top slots in the corporation," "General, chief of staff, anything," "In 1964, he returned from a tour with advisory command in Vietnam, and things started to slip," "His report to the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Lyndon Johnson was restricted," "Seems they didn't dig what he had to tell them," "During the next few months, he made three requests for transfer to airborne training, Fort Benning, Georgia, and was finally accepted," "Airborne?" "He was 38 years old," "Why the fuck would he do that?" "1966, joins Special Forces, returns Vietnam," "Hey, what's that?" " Arc Light." " What's up?" " B-52 strike." " Yeah?" " What's that?" " Arc Light." "I hate that." "Every time I hear that, something terrible happens." "Charlie don't never see them or hear them, man." "There they are." "The concussion will suck the air out of your damn lungs." "Something terrible is gonna happen." "Smoke!" "Secondary burning." "Hueys over there." "Lots of Hueys." "Let's have a look, Chief." " It was the Air Cav, 1 st of the 9th," " That's them." "Our escorts to the mouth of the Nung River," "But they were supposed to be waiting for us another 30 kilometers ahead," "Well, Airmobile, those boys just couldn't stay put," "Hey, kid, come on." "Get down." "Come on." "First of the 9th was an old cavalry division that had cashed in its horses for choppers and gone tear-assing around Nam looking for the shit," "They had given Charlie a few surprises in their time here," "What they were mopping up now hadn't even happened yet an hour ago," "Just keep running by." "We're for television." "Don't look at the camera." "Just keep..." "Go on." "Keep going." "This is for television." "Don't look at the camera." "Just go by like you're fighting." "Like you're fighting." "Don't look at the camera." "It's for television." "Just go through." "Go through." "Just go by." "Keep on going." "Keep going." "Don't look at the camera." "Go on." "Keep going." "All right, come on." "Go." "Yes." "Over here." "Over here." "Where can I find the CO?" "That's the colonel coming down." "The CO's on that chopper." "Lieutenant, bomb that tree line back about a hundred yards." " Give me some room to breathe." " Yes, sir." " Body cards." " Sir?" " Bring the body cards." " Yes, sir." "Looking for a tank?" "I got five tanks broken..." "We're all right with the tanks." "It's all right, captain." "Captain Willard!" "I carry priority papers from COMSEC Intelligence II Corps." "I understand Nha Trang has briefed you on the requirements of my mission." "What mission?" "I haven't heard from Nha Trang." "Sir, your unit is supposed to escort us into the Nung." " We'll see what we can do," " Colonel." "But just stay out of my way till this is done, captain." "All right, let's see what we have." "Let's see what we have." "A two of spades, three of spades, four of diamonds, six of clubs, eight of spades." "There isn't one worth a jack in the whole bunch." "Four of diamonds." " Hey, captain, what's that?" " Death cards." " What?" " Death cards." " Death?" " Lets Charlie know who did this." " Cheer up, son." " We will not hurt or harm you." " Fire in the hole!" " Fire in the hole!" "This is an area that is controlled by the Vietcong and North Vietnamese." "Damn." "We are here to help you." "We are here to extend a welcome hand" " Come on." "Everybody in?" " To those who would like to return to the arms of the South Vietnamese government." "Get in." "Hurry up." " Move it out." " This is an area that is controlled by the Vietcong and North Vietnamese." "Hey!" "Hey, what's this?" "What is this?" "This man's hurt pretty bad, sir." "About the only thing that's holding his guts in, sir, is that pot lid." "Yeah?" "What do you have to say?" "This soldier is dirty VC." "He wants water." "He can drink paddy water." "Get out of here!" "Give me that." "Give me that canteen." " He's VC." " Any man that's brave enough to..." "Get out of here!" "I'll kick your fucking ass!" "He killed a lot of our people!" "Any man brave enough to fight with his guts strapped on him can drink from my canteen any day." "Hey, colonel, I think one of those sailors is Lance Johnson, the surfer." "Where?" "Here?" "You sure?" "Down there." "Yeah?" "Here." "Repeat, we have a body count." "We have..." "What's your name, sailor?" "Gunner's Mate Third Class L. Johnson, sir." " Gunner's Mate Third Class..." " Hey." "Lance Johnson, the surfer?" "Yes, sir." "It's an honor to meet you, Lance." "I've admired your nose riding for years." "I like your cutback too." "I think you have the best cutback there is." " Thank you, sir." " You can cut out the "sir" crap, Lance." "I'm Bill Kilgore." "I'm a goofy foot." " This guy with you?" " Yeah." "I want you to meet some guys." " This is Mike from San Diego." " Far out." "Johnny from Malibu." " John, hi." " Pretty solid surfers." " Far out." " None of us are anywhere near" " your class, though." " No way." "We do a lot of surfing around here, Lance." "I like to finish operations early." "Fly down to Vung Tau for the evening glass." "Where you been riding, Lance?" "Been riding since you got here?" "No way." "I haven't surfed since I been here." " Through Christ, our Lord, from whom all good things come." "Through him in the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honor is yours, almighty Father." " Amen." " Let us bring our iniquities to the Father in the words our savior gave us." "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name." "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." "Give us this day, our daily bread..." " as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." "Kilgore had had a pretty good day for himself," "They choppered in the T-bones and the beer and turned the LZ into a beach party," "The more they tried to make it just like home, the more they made everybody miss it," "Make my meat rare." "Rare but not cold." "Well, he wasn't a bad officer, I guess," "He loved his boys, and you felt safe with him," "He was one of those guys that had that weird light around him," "You just knew he wasn't gonna get so much as a scratch here," "What happened to your mission, captain?" "Nha Trang forget all about you?" "Airborne." "Sir, two places we can get into the river." " Yeah." " Here and here." "It's a pretty wide delta, but these are the only two spots I'm really sure of." "Well, that village you're pointing at is kind of hairy, Willard." " What do you mean "hairy," sir?" " It's hairy." "Got some pretty heavy ordnance." "I lost a few recon ships in there now and again." "What's the name of that goddamn village?" " Vin Drin Dop or Lop?" " Drop." "Damn gook names all sound the same." "Mike, you know anything about this point at Vin Din Drop?" "That's a fantastic peak." " Peak?" " About 6 foot." "It's an outstanding peak." "It's got both the long right and left slide, with a bowl section." "It's unbelievable." "It's just tube city." "Why didn't you tell me that before?" "A good peak." "There aren't any good peaks in this whole shitty country." " It's all goddamn beach break." " It's really hairy in there, sir." "That's where we lost McDonald." "They shot the hell out of us there." "That's Charlie's point." "Sir, we can go in there tomorrow at dawn." "There's always a good offshore breeze in the morning." "We may not be able to get the boat in." "The draft at the mouth of that river may be too shallow." "We'll pick your boat up and put it down right where you want it." "This is the 1 st of the 9th, Air Cav, son." "Airmobile." "I can take that point and hold it as long as I like." "You can get anyplace up that river that suits you, young captain." "Hell, a 6-foot peak." "All right, take a gunship back to the division." "Lance, go with Mike, let him pick out a board." "Bring me my Yater Spoon, the 8' 6"." " I don't know, sir, it's..." " What is it, soldier?" "I mean, it's pretty hairy in there." "It's Charlie's point." "Charlie don't surf!" "Hey, Jesus, Clean, you ain't gonna believe this." "Look." "Hey, man." "They're picking up the boat." "How are you feeling, Jimmy?" "Like a mean motherfucker, sir!" "All right, son." "Let her rip." "Let's go." "I never have got used to a light board." "I can't get used to one." " I'm used to a heavy board." " I know, it's a real drag." " You prefer a heavy or light board?" " Heavier." " Really?" " Yeah." "I thought all the young guys like lighter boards." "You can't ride the nose on those things..." "Big Duke Six, Big Duke Six," "This is Eagle Thrust 7." "We got it spotted." "Big Duke Six to Eagle Thrust." "Put on heading 2-7-0." "Assume attack formation." "That's a roger, Big Duke, Okay, we're going in," "Here we go." "We'll come in low out of the rising sun and about a mile out, we'll put on the music." " Music?" " Yeah, I use Wagner." "Scares the hell out of the slopes." "My boys love it." "Hey, they're gonna play music." "How come all you guys sit on your helmet?" "So we don't get our balls blown off." "Big Duke Six to Eagle Thrust." "Put on psy-war-op." "Make it loud." "This is a Romeo Foxtrot." "Shall we dance?" "Yes, sir." " Come on." " All right, all right." "We got a couple characters at that tree line," "We're taking fire from the holes," "Run, Charlie!" "This should make everything down burn," "We got a couple of people ahead here," "What's going on down here?" "We got an automatic, Shoot to kill!" "Shoot to kill in the open," "I spotted a large weapon down below." "We're gonna go and check it out." "All right, this is Foxtrot, We're pulling in," "What a shot." "Outstanding, Red Team." "Outstanding." "Get you a case of beer for that." "Six-four-one-zero, we're over the village right now." "I think I see a vehicle in the courtyard." "I'm gonna check it out." "Well done, Hawks." "Well done." "Want some 20 mike-mike Vulcan right along those tree lines." "Ripple the shit out of them." "Got a vehicle on the bridge. .50-caliber onboard." "He's moving across to resupply the weapon." "Big Duke Six, clear the area." "I'm coming down myself." "Don't these people ever give up?" "Nice shot, Bill." " Shit!" " All right, all right!" "It's just a flare!" " Get me out of here!" " Don't ask that shit." "Get it out of here!" "Don't ask to get it out." "Get it out." "It's just a flare." "It's all right." "It's just a flare." "Everybody all right?" "Lance, you all right?" "I'm fine!" "Get down!" "I'm not going!" "I'm not going!" "I'm not going!" "Now we just got secondaries down in the plaza," "Blue Three, Blue Four, hold on to your position," "Duke Six, Duke Six, we've got wounded down there," "Get a stretcher over here!" "Please, God!" "Help me!" " Give him some morphine." " My God!" "0£­3£­7£­7£­4£­2 Oh-three-seven-seven-four-two." "Where's that duster?" "!" "I want my wounded out of there and in the hospital in 15 minutes." "I want my men out." "Somebody stay in there tight with Big Duke," "This is 10-10, We're gonna be in, throw them on and get out," "She's got a grenade!" "She's got a grenade!" "Oh, Jesus, the whole goddamn thing blew up." " She blew the shit out of..." " Fucking savages." "Get a medevac," "Holy Christ, she's a sap, I'm gonna get that dink bitch," "Get over there, Johnny, Put the right skid right up her ass," "We gotta get air in these trees." "It's damn eat-up with enemy down here." "I'm taking fire." "I'm taking hits all over." "Three o'clock!" "Three o'clock." "I'm drawing fire." "I'm drawing heavy fire." "I'm hit!" "Mayday!" "Mayday!" "I'm going in, My tail rotor's out, I got control," " What do you think?" " Wow, this is really exciting, man." "No, no, the waves!" " The waves!" " Oh, right." "Look at that." "Breaks both ways." "Watch." "Watch." "Look!" "Good 6-foot swells!" "Come here, Lance." "Incoming!" "This LZ is still pretty hot, sir." "You ought to surf somewhere else." "What do you know about surfing, major?" "You're from goddamn New Jersey." "Come here." "Come here!" " Change." " You mean right now, sir?" "I wanna see how rideable that stuff is." "Go change." "It's still pretty hairy out there." " Do you wanna surf, soldier?" " Yes, sir." "That's good, son, because you either surf or fight, that clear?" "Now get going." "I'll cover for them." "And bring a board for Lance." "We can't do shit until the boat gets here." "Lance, I'll bet you can't wait to get out there." " What?" " See how they break both ways?" "One guy can break right, one left, simultaneous." "What do you think of that?" "I think we ought to wait for the tide to come up." " Lance, come here." "Look, look." " Incoming!" "The tide doesn't come in for six hours!" "You wanna wait here for six hours?" "Chief!" "Okay, fellas, quit hiding, Come on!" "Let's go!" " Dickheads, take off!" " Goddamn it!" "Don't you think it's a little risky for R and R?" "If I say it's safe to surf this beach, captain, it's safe to surf this beach!" "I mean, I'm not afraid to surf this place." "I'll surf this fucking place." "Give me that RT, soldier." "Dove Four, this is Big Duke Six." "Goddamn it!" "I want that tree line bombed!" "Big Duke Six, roger." "Dove One-Three, stand by." "Blow them into the Stone Age, son!" " ASAP!" "Out." " No, back, no!" "All right, now, let me take care of this." "Get that out of here!" " I'm sorry." " Come here now." "All right." "Get back." "No, ma'am." "Sorry!" "Jimmy!" "Hawk One-Two, Dove One-Three, Roger," "They need napalm in the tree line, Can you put it down there?" "Right, One-Three, We're fixing to fuck with them, What's the target?" "We're trying to suppress some mortar fire off the tree line there," "Roger, Here we come," "Good, Give it all you got, Bring in all your ships," "Put him in my chopper." "Get him back to the hospital." " No, no, no." "You gotta go with him." " Come on!" "Go!" "Go!" "Get it out of here!" "And tell my guys I want my board!" "Big Duke Six, the jets are inbound now," "You got 30 seconds, Get your people back and heads down," "This is gonna be a big one," "Don't worry." "We'll have this place cleaned up in a jiffy, son." "Don't you worry." "Give me those shorts." "These are from the Air Cav, a present from me and the boys." "I wanna see you do your stuff in them out there, okay?" "You smell that?" " Do you smell that?" " What?" "Napalm, son." "Nothing else in the world smells like that." "Come on." "Move it!" "Move it!" "Move it!" "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." "You know, one time we had a hill bombed for 12 hours." "And when it was all over, I walked up." "We didn't find one of them, not one stinking dink body." "But the smell..." "You know, that gasoline smell." "The whole hill smelled like victory." "Someday this war's gonna end." "Lance, the wind!" " The wind." " What?" "It's blowing onshore." "It's coming onshore." "It's gonna blow this place out." " It's gonna ruin it." " Not cool!" " It's gonna blow out!" " It's the goddamn napalm." " That's what's doing it." " I know." "I'm really sorry, colonel." "I'm afraid that does it." "The kid's got a reputation." "You can't expect him to surf those sloppy waves." " I understand." " Yeah." "I'm an artist, Bill." "I couldn't surf that stuff." "Lance, look, I apologize." "It's not my fault." "Waves are getting blown out by napalm." "Don't get me wrong..." "Bombs causing a vortex with the wind." " I accept your apology." " All right, then." "But if you could hang around just 20 minutes..." " Some other time, Bill." " Just 20 minutes." " I'm an artist." " Keep walking." "Okay, give it a try, guys." "One goes left and one goes right." "Look, Lance." " You through surfing?" " Yeah!" " Wanna say goodbye to the colonel?" " No." " You sure?" " Yeah!" " Get the fuck out of here." " It's just the fucking napalm." "Just wait 20 minutes!" "Damn!" "Fuck!" "They've been looking for you." " Don't leave without me." " Where the fuck are you going?" "Incoming!" "That's the colonel's surfboard!" "Hey, get the fuck off it." "It's mine." " Lance." " Chef, light up, man." "Come on." "Let's get high." " Wanna smoke?" " Let's do it, man." "Light up." "Someday this war's gonna end," "That would be just fine with the boys on the boat," "They weren't looking for anything more than a way home," " Captain?" " Trouble is, I'd been back there and I knew that it just didn't exist anymore," "Buddha time." "Here." "All right, that's great, motherfuckers." "Yeah." "If that's how Kilgore fought the war" "I began to wonder what they really had against Kurtz," "It wasn't just insanity and murder," "There was enough of that to go around for everyone," "I mean, he never was hurting for pussy." "I'm not here." "I'm walking through the jungle gathering mangoes." "I meet Raquel Welch." "I make a nice mango cream pudding." "You know, kind of spread it around on us." "She's into mangoes too." "She's like one limb above me." " We're both in the jungle here nude." " Hey, Chief." " Yeah?" " Here comes that colonel guy again." "You know how hard it is to find a board you like," "I will not hurt or harm you," "I will not hurt or harm you," "Just give me back the board, Lance," "It was a good board, and I like it," "You know how hard it is to find a board you like," " He's a determined motherfucker!" " I will not hurt or harm you," "I will not hurt or harm you," "Just give me back the board, Lance," "It was a good board, and I like it," "You know how hard it is to find a board you like," " I will not hurt or harm you," " Jesus Christ." "That guy's too fucking much, man." "Do you think he would have shot us?" "He wouldn't have shot us on the beach." "He would have shot us if he saw me taking his board." "Let's go surfing now Everybody's learning how" " Let's get this board out of my turret." " Sucker." "How am I gonna shoot him next time he comes around?" "Hey, Chef, make some room back there for the board." "Sock it to me, Lance." "I wonder if that's the same chopper." "Hell, he's probably got them all over the river with that recording." "We'll have to hold up here till dark, Chief." "Don't worry, Lance." "He won't follow us too far." "What makes you say that?" "You think that big Cav colonel wants everyone upriver" " to know we stole his board?" " I didn't steal it." "Captain." "Just how far up this river we going?" "It's classified, Chief." "I can't tell you." "We're going up pretty far." "Is it gonna be hairy?" "I don't know, kid." "Yeah, probably." "You like it like that, captain, when it's hot, hairy?" "Fuck." "Never get a chance to know what the fuck you are in some factory in Ohio." "Hey, Chief, I'm gonna go get those mangoes now, okay?" " Take somebody with you." " Yeah, I'll take him." "I'll go with him." "Chef?" " Yes, sir?" " How come they call you that?" " Call me what, sir?" " Chef." " Because you like mangoes and stuff?" " No, sir, I'm a real chef." " I'm a saucier." " Saucier?" "Yes, sir." "See, I come from New Orleans." "I was raised to be a saucier, a great saucier." " What's a saucier?" " We specialize in sauces." "Gotta be a mango tree here somewhere." "Then I was supposed to go to Paris, study at the Escoffier school." "But then I got orders for my physical." "Hell, I joined the Navy." "Heard they had better food." "Cook school, that did it." " Yeah, how's that?" " You don't wanna hear about that." "They lined us up in front of a hundred yards of prime rib." "All of us, you know, lined up looking at it." "Magnificent meat, really." "Beautifully marbled." "Next thing, they're throwing the meat into these big cauldrons." "All of it." "Boiling it." "I looked inside, man." "It was turning gray." "I couldn't fucking believe that one." "That's when I applied for radioman school, but then they gave me the..." "What is it?" "Charlie?" "It's a tiger!" "Son of a bitch!" "It's a tiger, man!" "It's a tiger!" "Battle stations." "Lance, up front." " Get on your 60!" " Got it." " Holy shit!" "A fuckin' tiger!" " Chef, come on!" " Captain, come on!" " Let's hop in and go!" "Let's go!" "You were right." "Never get out of the boat." " Bring that 60 forward!" " Why never get out of the boat?" "I gotta remember!" "Never get out of the boat!" "Never get out of the boat!" " How many is it?" " A fuckin' tiger!" " What?" " A tiger?" "Yes!" "I've had it!" "I've had the whole goddam fuckin' shit, man!" "You can kiss my ass on the county square... because I'm fuckin' buggin' out." "I didn't come here for this." "I don't fuckin' need it!" "I don't want it." "I didn't get out the goddam eighth grade for this kind of shit!" "All I wanted to do was fuckin' cook!" "I just wanted to learn to fuckin' cook, man!" " You're all right." " What happened, bro?" "You're all right." "You're gonna be all right." "All right?" "It's gonna be all right?" "Never get out of the fuckin' boat." "Hi, tiger!" "Bye, tiger!" "Goodbye!" "Never get out of the boat." "Absolutely goddam right... unless you were going all the way." "Kurtz got off the boat." "He split from the whole fuckin'programme." "How did that happen?" "What did he see here that first tour?" "Thirty-eight fucking years old." "If you joined the Green Berets... there was no way you'd ever get above colonel." "Kurtz knew what he was giving up." "The more I read and began to understand... the more I admired him." "His family and friends couldn't understand it... and they couldn't talk him out of it." "He had to apply three times, and he put up with a ton of shit." "But when he threatened to resign, they gave it to him." "The next youngest guy in his class was half his age." "They must have thought he was some far-out old man... humping it over that course." "I did it when I was 19." "It damn near wasted me." "A tough motherfucker." "He finished it." "He could have gone for general... but he went for himself instead." "Dear Eva..." "Today was really a new one." "Almost got eaten alive by a fuckin' tiger." "Really un-fucking believable, you know?" "We're taking this guy, Captain Willard, up the river... but he hasn't told us yet where we're taking him." "Come on, baby" "Thought you might have heard by now from Elwood." "October 1967." "On special assignment..." "Kontoom Province, II Corps." "Kurtz staged Operation Archangel with combined local forces." "Rated a major success." "He received no official clearance." "He just thought it up and did it." "What balls," "They were gonna nail his ass to the floorboards for that one," "But after the press got ahold of it they promoted him to full colonel instead," "Oh, man, the bullshit piled up so fast in Vietnam you needed wings to stay above it," "This sure enough is a bizarre sight in the middle of this shit." "Expecting us this time?" "Damned if I know." "Jesus." " It goes back up into the truck." " What?" "We gotta get all that stuff up." "Hau Phat." "You ever been up here before, Chef?" "I bet you we can score up here." "Yo, man." "Check out the bikes, Lance." "Yamaha, Suzuki." "Yeah." " That's a good one." " Yeah, Sukiyaki." "Yeah, man." "This is something." " Please." " This must be the guy." "Right over there." "Sergeant." "Sergeant." "Three drums of diesel fuel, PBR five..." "Come on, man." "Move." "We don't have time." "One hour." "That's all." "What do you want?" " Can I get some Panama Red?" " Yeah, I'll get you Panama Red." " Sergeant?" " Destination?" " I don't have no destination." " Can't do a goddamn thing without it." " Sarge?" "Sarge?" " Got a destination?" "I need a destination." "Can't do a goddamn thing without it." "Sarge, these guys are with me." "Destination's classified." "I carry priority papers from COMSEC Intelligence." "Okay." "Right, sir." "Hey, listen, it's a real big night." " Eight bucks for that..." " Hey." "All right." "Damn." " Just give him some fuel." " You got it." " Dog starts barking." " Hey, listen, captain." "I'm really sorry about tonight." "It's really bad around here." "Just take this over to the man at the supply desk and you got it." "Would you guys like some seats...?" "Some press-box seats for the show?" "You want those?" "The show out here." " Bunnies, bunnies." " Playboy bunnies?" "You got it." "Are you gonna be here?" "Hey, listen, captain, on the house." "No hard feelings, huh?" "How you doing out there?" "I said, how you doing out there?" "Wanna say hello to you from all of us up here, to all of you out there who have worked so goddamn hard on Operation Brute Force." "Hello, all you paratroopers out there." "And the Marines." "And the sailors." "We wanna let you know we're proud of you." "We know how tough and how hard it's been." "Yeah!" "To prove it, we're gonna give you entertainment we know you're gonna like." "Miss August, Miss Sandra Beatty." "Miss May, Miss Terri Teray!" "Yeah!" "And the Playmate of the Year, Miss Carrie Foster!" "Yeah!" "Hello up there!" " Hello!" " What's the matter?" "Come on, baby doll, pussy looks good tonight!" "Grease my gun!" "I'm ready to powwow, baby!" "All right!" "You're cute." "I like you." "I'm here, baby." "I'm here." "Yeah!" " You fucking bitch!" " Take it off!" "Take it off!" "Hey, lover!" "You want us to come over?" " I sure do!" " Sign my centerfold!" "Sign my centerfold!" "Come on, baby!" "Come up here now!" "Get your goddamn hands off of my..." "Start her up." "Hey!" "Get out of the way!" "Come on!" "Come on." "Will you sign this?" "Please?" "Hey, girls!" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "Hurry!" "So long!" "Charlie didn't get much USO," "He was dug in too deep or moving too fast," "His idea of great R and R was cold rice and a little rat meat," "He had only two ways home;" "Death or victory," "No wonder Kurtz put a weed up Command's ass," "The war was being run by a bunch of four-star clowns who were gonna end up giving the whole circus away," "Hey, you know, man, that was far-fucking-out." "I collected every picture of her since she was Miss December, Chief." "Hey, Clean, look at that." "She was here, man." "I even wrote to the cunt." "She didn't write me back." "You can really get hung up on these broads, just like that cat in the delta." " Yeah, you better believe it." " What cat?" "The one that went up for murder." "He was a Army sergeant." "Remember?" "This cat, man, he really dug his Playboy, man." " I mean, like, this cat," " Dig it." "When the thing arrived, he was there to meet it, man." "He just knew." "Look at these beautiful fucking jugs, man!" "Yeah, so anyway, he was working ARVN patrols, you know?" "Had one of them cocky gook asshole lieutenants and shit." "One day the gook took his magazine from him and wouldn't give it back." "He said, "Give me my magazine back."" "Gook say, "You shut up." "I have you court-martialed." You know?" " Typical fucking ARVN, man." " Yeah, man." " So then the gook starts to go too far." " Chef." "Take the wheel." "This dude started to stick pinholes in the lady's tits." "Take the wheel." "He started sticking pinholes and mutilating the centerfold and all kinds of shit like that." "And the sergeant said, "You better not do that to her." "You leave your shitty little gook hands off of that girl." "Don't do her like that," right?" " Gook say, "Fuck you," in Vietnamese." " Goddamn." "The sergeant, man, he just couldn't handle it no more." "He just picked up his iron, flipped it to rock 'n' roll and:" "Gave that little zero a long burst straight through the Playboy mag." "It blew his ass clean off of the dock." "There wasn't no more lieutenant that day, man." "That was it for his ass." " They burn him for it?" " The sergeant?" "Yeah, man." "They stuck his ass in the LBJ." "It's too bad he didn't get no medals or nothing." "Fucking ARVN, man." "They should have killed the fuck." "Should have given the fucker a Silver Star." "Bummer for the gook, though, wasn't it?" "Good morning, Vietnam," "I'm Army Specialist Zack Johnson on AMVN," "It's about 82 degrees in downtown Saigon right now, also very humid," "And we have an important message for all Gls who are living off-base from the mayor of Saigon," "Yeah!" "He'd like you to hang your laundry indoors instead of on the windowsills," "The mayor wants you to keep Saigon beautiful," "Here's another blast from the past going out to Big Sam, who's alone in the mantle room out there with the 1 st Battalion, 35th Infantry, and dedicated by the fire team at An Khe to their groovy CO Fred the Head;" " The Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction,"" " All right!" "Watch out, Clean!" "Get down, bubba!" "Hang on, Lance!" "Get down, bubba!" "Tell them you did it, Lance." "Tell them you did it." "I see you is right on target today, baby." "Work out!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "All right!" "Look out, Lance!" ""'Commitment and Counterinsurgency' by Colonel Walter E, Kurtz," "As long as our officers and troops perform tours of duty limited to one year, they will remain dilettantes in war and tourists in Vietnam," "As long as cold beer, hot food, rock 'n' roll and all the other amenities remain the expected norm, our conduct of the war will gain only impotence," "We need fewer men, and better," "If they were committed, this war could be won with a fourth of our present force, "" " Shit." "Chicken time." " Holy shit." "You ain't shitting, bro." "The motherfucking..." " Who is that?" " What's going on?" " I'm stuck inside, Chief." " Don't punk out, man." " Is that you, Lazzaro?" " Come on, Chief." "Don't chicken out now." "Fire on the canopy!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "Get out of there!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "Lance, get down!" "Put that fucker out, man!" "What the fuck they think they're doing?" "Late summer, autumn, 1968," "Kurtz's patrols in the highlands coming under frequent ambush," "The camp started falling apart," "November," "Kurtz orders assassination of three Vietnamese men and one woman," "Two of the men were colonels in the South Vietnamese army," "Enemy activity in his old sector dropped off to nothing," "Guess he must have hit the right four people," "He joined the Special Forces," "And after that, his..." "The Army tried one last time to bring him back into the fold," " methods..." "And if he'd pulled over, it all would have been forgotten," " unsound," "But he kept going," " Now he's crossed into Cambodia" " And he kept winning it his way, with this Montagnard army of his..." "And they called me in," " who worship the man like a god and follow every order, however ridiculous." "They lost him," "He was gone," "Nothing but rumors and random intelligence, mostly from captured VC," "The VC knew his name by now, and they were scared of him," "He and his men were playing hit and run all the way into Cambodia," "I know where I'm going." "I'm going to the White House to have dinner with the president of the United States, baby." "That's where I'm going." "Hey, Chef, put the cover on that." "Clean." "How long has that kid been on this boat?" "Seven months." "He's really specializing in busting my balls." "Very possible, captain, he thinks the same of you." "Oh, yeah?" "What do you think, Chief?" "I don't think." "My orders say I'm not supposed to know where I'm taking this boat, so I don't." "But one look at you and I know it's gonna be hot, wherever it is." "We're going upriver about 75 klicks above the Do Lung Bridge." " That's Cambodia, captain." " That's classified." "We're not supposed to be in Cambodia, but that's where I'm going." "You just get me close to my destination and I'll cut you and the crew loose." "All right, captain." ""Dear son," "I'm afraid both you and your mother will have been worried at not hearing from me during the past weeks, but my situation here has become a difficult one," "I have been officially accused of murder by the Army," "The alleged victims were four Vietnamese double agents," "We spent months uncovering them and accumulating evidence," "When absolute proof was completed, we acted," "We acted like soldiers," "The charges are unjustified," "They are, in fact, and in the circumstances of this conflict, quite completely insane," "In a war, there are many moments for compassion and tender action," "There are many moments for ruthless action," "What is often called ruthless, but may in many circumstances be only clarity, seeing clearly what there is to be done and doing it" " Medevac, come in." "Over. - directly," " quickly, awake," " Alpha, Tango, Tango," " Echo, Tango, Alpha." " Looking at it," "Request dust-off." "Three, maybe four KIAs." "Over." "I would trust you to tell your mother what you choose about this letter," "As for the charges against me, I am unconcerned," "Medevac, come in." "I am beyond their timid, lying morality, and so I am beyond caring," "Medevac, do you read?" "Over." "You have all my faith," "Your loving father, "" "Jesus." "No wonder I couldn't get them on the radio." "What a dump." " Hi there!" " How you doing?" "Wow, that's a nice little boat you got there." "Never seen one up here before." "You know, we called in a request for a medevac." "You guys receive it?" "Medevac?" "No." "Yeah, we passed a downed Huey with some KIAs." " On your way here?" " Yeah." " So you're going up this river?" " Way up." "Way upriver?" "Whoa, forget it." "Why?" "Why?" "Well, we wanna send some people downriver." " Just forget it." " What the fuck was that?" " We'll be back in a couple of days." " Yeah, right." "You'll be back." " Hey, Chief?" " Yeah, captain?" "See what you can do with that engine." " I'm gonna have a look around." " All right." "Hey, don't leave without me." "Hey, soldier, where's your CO?" "Don't ask me, man." "Give my clothes back, asshole!" "Fucking asshole!" "Hey, guys, where's the CO?" "He stepped on a land mine about two months ago." "Got all blown to hell." " Who's in charge here?" " Charge?" "I don't know, man." "I'm just the night man." "Just doing what I'm told." "Shit." "I'm just a working girl." "What about you, fella?" "Hey, Lance, man, I'm telling you it's gonna jam." "You mark my words." " Keep it in that condition, it's your ass." " Get off my back." " No, man, I'm telling you..." " Lay off!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Come here!" "Is that your boat?" "Come on inside." "What do you want?" "Come on inside." "I wanna talk to you." "Come on!" "Get out of the rain." "Get off me!" "Come on." "Cut this shit." "Hey, Chef." "Hey, come on." "Hey, how you doing, captain?" "I want you to meet some people." " I got your ass." " Your ass is shit." "Chef, your ass is shit!" "You're a motherfucker." "You're a motherfucker, man." "Goddamn, my ear, you motherfucker." " Get him off me, Chef." " You smart-ass." "Hey, guys." "I got you!" "I got you, man!" " You ain't shit, Chef." " Hey, fellas." " You broke my fucking knee, man." " Hey, guys." "I just made a deal with the people from Hau Phat." "I negotiated two barrels of fuel for a couple of hours with the bunnies." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "You shitting me?" "No, I'm not." "Grab a couple barrels and get up to that big tent." "Come on!" "Captain." "You're giving away our fuel for a Playmate of the Month?" "Nope." "Playmate of the Year, Chief." "Warm them up, baby!" "Warm them up!" "Warm them up." "Captain, we get in a firefight and run out of fuel," "I want you to tell me how she was." "I made a deal for all of us, Chief." "How about you?" " You got some mamas in there?" " Some what?" "Forget it, captain." "I'll stay with the boat." "Hey, captain!" "Give me a hand." "You know, I got a..." "I got every one of your pictures." "I got the centerfold, the Playmate's Review, the Playmate of the Year runoff." "I even got the calendar." "Hey, oiseau." "Wait, how come you got a bird?" "I used to be the bird girl at Busch Gardens." " Busch Gardens?" " Yeah, I used to train birds there." "You are..." " You are Miss December, aren't you?" " Miss May." "Is it coming?" " Miss December had black hair." " It's over there." "He's not one of my regular birds." "Come on." "Come on, baby." "Snack?" "Snatch a cracker." "Come here." "Being Playmate of the Year is the loneliest experience I can imagine." "It's like, you try to express your feelings to someone and show them your heart..." "Yeah, I wanna hear about your bird act." "I'd love to hear about your bird act." "But would you mind just putting this...?" "Would you just mind putting this black wig on for me, please?" "And there's this glass wall between you." "This invisible glass." "And they can see your mouth moving." "I used to train birds for at least two years" " That's beautiful." " At Busch Gardens..." "This was kind of cascading over your right shoulder and this was open here." "But they can't hear what you're saying." "I used to train them to stand on their head and fly upside down, and ride a little bicycle." " Your right hand was kind of..." " Hey, Chef!" " Hey, come on." "Get out of here, man!" " Come on, Chef!" " Someone wants to talk to you." " Later, later." "Give me 15 minutes." "Because you can never really make them hear what you're trying to say." "You okay with kind of bending?" "That's it." "Yeah, your ass was sticking out just a little..." "Hey, man, fuck off!" "Fifteen minutes!" "That's why I tried so desperately to show somebody that I had some talent." "Little baby macaws." " Have you ever seen a baby macaw?" " That's kind of open there." " They're all blue and gold." " Come on." "Take off, would you?" "I got my rights, man!" "They make you do things that you don't wanna do." "Like..." "Like this picture here." "I started feeling repulsed with myself." "You were just kind of bending forward." "Your ass just kind of out a little bit." " That's over there." "That's it." " I love training birds." "That's it." "That's very..." "That's it." "You're beautiful." "I just wanna..." "You know, I can't believe it." "Me, Jay Hicks." "I mean, I can't believe I'm really here, you know?" "Maybe I'm unfit to have a relationship with a beautiful, innocent boy." "Just think, if it hadn't been for the Vietnam War," "I never would have met you, Miss December." "Miss May." "I wish..." "I wish I could find just one person that could share my point of view." "Oh, you kiss like a bird!" "Oh, God!" "Kiss me!" "Kiss me!" "Who is that?" "You're driving me crazy!" "Oh, kiss me!" " Oh, my God." "Take it off." " I love birds." "You finished yet?" "Oh, fuck!" "Like a bird!" "Sing like a bird!" "Fly, baby!" "Cock it to me!" " Fly!" " I can fly like an eagle!" " I'm an eagle!" " It drives me crazy!" "It drives me crazy!" "Lance, that was somebody's son." "Lance, there were things that they made me do that I didn't wanna do." "Like, they said, "Pull the ribbons between your legs."" "And I didn't wanna do it." "But they said that was what was expected of me." "That that's what people wanted to see." " Who are you?" " Oh, I'm next, ma'am." "Hell, I didn't know he was a cherry." " Didn't know you never got no pussy." " Shove it, fuck-up." "Sorry about that." "If I'd have known, I'd take you to New Orleans." " Man, fuck you." " Introduce you to..." " Lay off, Chef." " Cherry boy, cherry boy." "You're a fucking dog!" "Come on down to New Orleans." "I'll get you fixed up, you prick." "Lay off, Chef." "You're the only fucking prick I see around here." "If I wanna play with a prick, I'll play with my own." "You wouldn't know what to do with it, cherry boy." "Chef, I said lay off!" "Chef, knock it off!" "Give him a break!" "What do you think I said?" "Then give your jaws a rest!" "And this ain't the Army." "You are a sailor." "So get out of that frizzly Army-looking shit, and stop smoking that dope." "You hear me?" "Lance, what's with all the green paint?" " Camouflage." " How's that?" "So they can't see you." "They're everywhere, Chief." "I want you to stay awake up there, man." "You got a job to do." "Sampan off the port bow." "Let's take a look." "Lance." "Bring them in." "Clean, on the 60." "Chef, get a 16." "Clean, get on that 60!" "What's up, Chief?" "A junk boat, captain." "We're gonna take a routine check." "Well, let's forget routine now and let them go." "These boats are running supplies in this delta, captain." "I'm gonna take a look." "Chief, my mission's got priority." "Hell, you wouldn't even be in this part of the river if it wasn't for me." "Until we reach your destination, captain, you're just on for the ride." " Stand by, Lance." " Come on." "Throw the rope, asshole." "All right." "Come on." "Let's bring it over." "Look in that forward hooch." "Bring the people out of there." "Come on!" "Hurry up, motherfucker!" "Move it!" " You too." "Come on." " Keep your eyes open." "I got you, Chief." "It's clear, Chief." "Okay, that's them." "That's them." "They're okay." " Board and search it." " It's just a fucking boat." " There ain't nothing on it." " Board it and search it." "There's baskets, there's ducks." "Fucking bananas." "Ain't nothing on it." " What's wrong with you?" "Search it." " There's the goat." "Some fish." " Chef." " Fucking vegetables..." " Get on that boat!" " There's nothing on it, man!" " Get on it!" " All right!" "Move it, asshole!" "Move it, goddamn it!" "Some pigs." "Look, mangoes." " What's in the rice bag?" " Fucking rice." " Look in there, Chef." "Look in it." " Coconuts and fucking fish." "More coconuts." "Rice." "Here's rice." " What's in that vegetable basket?" " Get out of here!" "Come on!" " Get over there, goddamn it!" " Chef, check that vegetable basket." " All right." " Shut up, slope!" " There ain't nothing in here." " What's in the boxes?" " Look in that tin can." "That rusty can." " Nothing." "Just fucking rice and that's all!" "There ain't nothing on it!" "Check the yellow can." "She was sitting on it." "What's in it?" "Chef!" "Motherfuckers!" "Motherfuckers!" "Motherfuckers!" "Motherfuckers!" " Hold it!" " Come on!" "Let's kill them all, huh?" " Motherfucking cocksucking mothers!" " Hold it!" "Hold it!" "Let's kill all the assholes!" "Shoot the shit out of all of them." " Hold it, Chef!" "Hold it!" " Why not?" "Jesus Christ." "Why the fuck not?" " Clean?" " I'm good." " You okay, Lance?" " Fuck!" "Shit!" " Chef, you okay?" " Look what she was hiding, huh?" " You all right?" " See what she was running for?" "It's a fucking puppy." "It's a fucking puppy." " Give me that dog!" "Give me that dog!" " No!" "You're not gonna get it!" " Fucking give it to me!" " No, give me the fucking dog, asshole!" "Fuck you!" " Chef." "Chef." " Fucking mango too!" "You want that?" "Chef, she's moving behind you." "She's alive." "Check her out." "Chef!" "She's moving behind you." "Check her out!" "All right." "All right." " Come on, Clean!" " She's not dead." "She's wounded." " Clean, give him a hand." " Fuck it." "Just take it easy." "Take it easy." " Slow down and take it easy." " All right, Chef, just wait a minute." " Bring her up." " Is she breathing?" " She's hurt." "She's bleeding." " Oh, man." "Bring her onboard." "We're taking her to an ARVN." " What are you talking about?" " We're taking her to some friendlies." " She's wounded." "She's not dead." " Get out of there, Chef." "The book says, captain..." "Fuck, yeah." "Fuck them." "I told you not to stop." "Now let's go." "It was a way we had over here of living with ourselves," "We'd cut them in half with a machine gun and give them a Band-Aid," "It was a lie," "And the more I saw of them, the more I hated lies," "Those boys were never gonna look at me the same way again," "But I felt like I knew one or two things about Kurtz that weren't in the dossier," "Do Lung Bridge was the last Army outpost on the Nung River," "Beyond it, there was only Kurtz," "Lance." "Hey, Lance." " What do you think?" " It's beautiful." "I mean, what's the matter with you?" "You acting kind of weird." "Hey, you know that last tab of acid I was saving?" " Yeah." " I dropped it." "You dropped acid?" "Far out." " Hey, friendly!" " Friendly!" " Take me home!" " Goddamn it!" " Fucking shore police!" " Man, you wanna die?" "Don't keep going!" " You fucking police!" " Don't leave me!" "Fuck you!" "You'll get what you deserve!" " Is there a Captain Willard onboard?" " Yeah." " Captain Willard?" " Yeah." "Who's that?" " Lieutenant Carlsen, sir." " Get that light off me." "I was sent here from Nha Trang with these three days ago, sir." "They expected you here a little sooner." "This is mail for the boat." "You don't know how happy this makes me, sir." " Why?" " Now I can get out if I can find a way." "You're in the asshole of the world, captain." "Captain, where you going?" "To see if I can find some fuel and get some information." "Pick me up at the other side of the bridge." " Somebody go with him." " Chef." "I'll go." "I wanna go." "Get your ass in gear," "Man, listen to the music, man." "Where can I find the CO?" " You came right to it, son of a bitch." " Lance!" "Get down here!" "You still got a commanding officer here?" " Beverly Hills." " What?" "Straight up the road there's a concrete fucking bunker called Beverly Hills!" "Where the fuck else do you think it would be?" "Goddamn it." "You stepped in my face." " We thought you were dead." " Well, you thought wrong, damn it." "I told you to stop fucking with me, didn't I?" "You think you're so bad, huh, nigga?" "What are you shooting at, soldier?" "Man, what the fuck you think I'm shooting at?" "I'm sorry, sir." "There are gooks out there by the wire." "But I think I killed them all." "Oh, you ain't shot shit, man." "Listen." "Oh, shit." "He's trying to call his friends, man." "Send up a flare." "Think you're so bad, huh, nigga?" "You think you bad, huh?" "They're all dead, stupid." "There's one still alive underneath the dead bodies." "Who's the commanding officer here?" "Ain't you?" "You think you so bad, huh?" "I got something for your ass now, nigga!" "I got something for you now!" "He's underneath the bodies, man." " Go get the Roach, man." " Man, he's asleep." " Go get the Roach, nigga!" " I'm gonna go get the Roach." "Go get him." "Roach." "Roach." "Roach." "Got slopes on the wire, man." "You hear them?" " Lance!" " Do you hear them?" "We'll bust them." "Hey, GI, fuck you!" "You hear him out there on the wire, man?" "Yeah." "I kill you, GI!" "You need a flare?" "No." "He's close, man." "He's real close." "GI, fuck you!" "GI!" "GI, fuck..." "Motherfucker." "Hey, soldier." "Do you know who's in command here?" "Yeah." "Holy shit." "Hey, Chief, man." "Two guys just got blown off that bridge." "Yo, hang on, man." "You're gonna be okay." " What's that?" " Mail, man." "Later on the mail." "Watch them trees." "There's no diesel fuel, but I picked up some ammo." "Let's move out." "Did you find the CO, captain?" "There's no fucking CO here." "Let's just get going." "Which way, captain?" "You know which way, Chief." "You're on your own, captain." "Still wanna go on?" "It's like this bridge." "We build it every night." "Charlie blows it right back up again just so the generals can say the road's open." "Think about it." " Who cares?" " Just get us upriver!" "Chef, on the bow." " Stand by, Clean." " Let's go!" "Whose package is that?" " Shit, you got another one, Clean." " No shit." "Wait a minute." "Is that it?" "That's it for you." "Lance." "Mr. L.B. Johnson, there you go." "Far out, man." "All right, I've been waiting for this one." "I got another one." "I got a box from Eva." ""Lance, I am fine." "Sue and I went tripping in Disneyland." "Sue skinned her knee."" "Man, I wanna get back to Antoine's." "Yes, I remember the time." "How could I fucking forget, man?" " Beautiful." " Man, you know, that's the best." ""There could never be a place like Disneyland, or could there?" "Let me know."" "Jim, it's here." "It really is here." ""There has been a new development regarding your mission which we must now communicate to you," "Months ago, a man was ordered on a mission which was identical to yours," "We have reason to believe that he is now operating with Colonel Kurtz," "Saigon was carrying him MIA for his family's sake, but they assumed he was dead," "Then they intercepted a letter he tried to send his wife, "" "Captain Richard Colby," "He was with Kurtz," "Disneyland." "Fuck, man, this is better than Disneyland." ""Charles Miller Manson ordered the slaughter of all in the home anyway as a symbol of protest."" "That's really weird, ain't it?" " Purple haze." "Look." " Hey, Lance, put away that smoke." "I got a tape from my mom for Chief." "Rainbow reality, man." "Hey, Chief, get a good whiff." "Eva can't picture me in Vietnam." "She pictures me at home having a beer, watching TV." " Hey, Lance, man." " Hot potato, hot potato." "I'm so glad you decided to join the Navy," "Eva's not sure she can have a relationship with me, you know." "Here I am 13,000 fucking miles away trying to keep a relationship open, my ass." "That's much more than I can say for some of your friends," "If this tape is any good, I will have Dad and the family" " send you a tape of their own," " Hey, Lance." "There!" "Over there!" "Take this, motherfuckers!" "There!" "Over there!" "Chef!" "Chef, check out Clean!" "Captain, he's hit, he's hit." "Clean's hit." " Lance!" " Where'd the dog go?" "Lance, check out Clean!" "Where's the dog?" "We gotta go back and get the dog." "Hey, Clean." "Hey." "Hey, bubba." "Bubba, you can't die, you fucker!" " Hey, bubba!" " And so I'm hoping that pretty soon..." "Not too soon, but pretty soon" "I'll have a lot of grandchildren to love and spoil," "And then when your wife get them back, she'll be mad with me," "Even Aunt Jessie and Mama will come to celebrate your coming home," "Granny and Dad are trying to get enough money to get you a car," "But don't tell them, because that's our secret," "Anyhow, do the right thing, stay out of the way of the bullets, and bring your heinie home all in one piece," "Because we love you very much," "Love, Mom," "Clean..." "Hold on." "Throw me the glasses." "Lance, take a 16 on the bow." "Chef." "Chef." "On the 60." "Fuck me." "Lance." "Cover the captain." "Lance, cover the captain." "They're French." "They're French." "Chef, pick up that weapon!" "Pick it up!" "Pick it up!" "Stand fast." "Captain." "All right, you men." "Put down your weapons." "We lost one of our men." "We French always pay respect to the dead of our allies." "You are all welcome." "My name is Hubert de Marais." "This is my family's plantation." "It has been such for 70 years." "And it will be such until we are all dead." "Captain, accept the flag of Tyrone Miller on behalf of a grateful nation." "This food is really wonderful, isn't it?" "The wine, the sauces." "I can't believe it." "Hey, can I speak with the chef?" "The chef speak only Vietnamese." "No kidding." "He cooks like this and he can't even speak French?" "Hey, Lance, the chef's a slope." "Hey, Lance." "This is Baudelaire." "It's a very cruel poem for children." "But they need it because life sometime is very cruel as you can see." "Attack repels by the family." "Just for this war." "Vietcong, 58." "North Vietnamese, 12." "South Vietnamese, 11." "Americans, six?" "Yes." "Well, there were perhaps mistakes." "May I present Captain Willard." "He is of a paratroop regiment." " Madame Sarrault." " Captain." "Oh, I'm sorry, captain." "It was just a little story about Paris and people starving during the war." "They are around the table and there was a silence and somebody say, "An angel is passing by."" "So somebody said, "Let's eat it."" "How long can you possibly stay here?" "We stay forever." "No, no." "I mean..." "Why don't you go back home to France?" "Back home?" "I mean, this is our home, captain." " Sooner or later, you're gonna..." " No." "You don't understand our mentality, the French officer mentality." "At first, we lose in Second World War." "I don't say that you Americans win, but we lose." "Oh, Papa..." "In Dien Bien Phu, we lose." "In Algeria, we lose." "In Indochina, we lose!" "But here, we don't lose!" "This piece of earth, we keep it." "We will never lose it." "Never!" "You Americans." "In 1945, yeah, after the Japanese war, your President Roosevelt didn't want the French people to stay in Indochina." "So you Americans implant the Vietminh." " What's he mean?" " Yeah, that's true." "The Vietcong were invented by the Americans, sir." "The Americans?" "And now you take the French place." "And the Vietminh fight you." "And what can you do?" "Nothing." "Absolutely nothing." "The Vietnamese are very intelligent." "You never know what they think." "The Russian ones who help them, "Come and give us their money." "We are all communists." Chinese, "Give us guns." "We are all brothers."" "They hate the Chinese!" "Maybe they hate the American less than the Russian and the Chinese." "I mean, if tomorrow the Vietnamese are communists, they will be Vietnamese communists." "And this is something that you never understood, you American." "I don't know." "Maybe in the future we can make something with the Vietminh." "Don't you understand?" "The VC say, "Go away." "Go away."" "That's finished for all the white people in Indochina." "If you're French, American, that's all the same." ""Go." They want to forget you." "Look, captain." "Look, this is a truth." "An egg." "The white left but the yellow stay." "When I was in Saigon, I spoke to an American politician." "And he explained it very well." "He said," ""Look, yesterday it was Korea." "Today, Vietnam." "Tomorrow, Thailand, the Philippines, then maybe Europe."" "Why not Europe?" "Look what happened in Czechoslovakia recently." "Even before the Second World War the Americans knew exactly what was going on." "They don't want that shit to take over." "All you white people are shit." "They are fighting, fighting for freedom." "Freedom?" "Bullshit." "French bullshit." "American bullshit." "Dien Bien Phu's trap." "All soldier know they are already dead." "You know anything about Dien Bien Phu?" " Yeah, I know." " No, you don't." "Not really." "Dien Bien Phu was an error, you know." "A military mistake." "A mistake?" "A voluntary mistake!" "Voluntary!" "All the soldiers knew." " We knew we will be dead." " The generals and the colonels believe it's impossible for the Viets to get the cannon up there in the mountains." "But they do." "Then they wait for the rain to come." "When it comes, no airplane can fly there." "And our paratroopers jump at 90 meters." "I mean, you know, 90 meters, 70 meters." "I mean, that's crazy." "No army in the world can do that." "And they only do that to be dead with their friends." "The French army was sacrificed, sacrificed by the politicians safe at home." "They put the army in an impossible situation where they couldn't win." "The students are marching in Paris protesting, demonstrating." "They stab the soldiers in their back." "The soldier would open the grenade, it wouldn't work." "A piece of paper would fall." ""Union of French Women." "We are for the Viets."" "Traitors." "Communist traitors at home." "Dien Bien Phu, okay." "The French is shit." "No one care." "No one want..." "Why don't you Americans learn from us, from our mistakes?" "With your army, your strength, your power, you could win if you want to!" "You can win." "But you know, I'm sure we can make something here." "I'm sure about it, you know?" "I never do something bad to the people here." "I'm sorry, but the communists at home have never been traitors." "Excuse me, I have to go." "Captain, good night." " He was a socialist, you know." " I know we can stay." "I know that we can stay and make "practicians." We can." "You know, we always helped the people." "We work with the people." "So we can make predictions, we are agreed." "See, captain, when my grandfather and my uncle's father came here there was nothing." "Nothing." "The Vietnamese were nothing." "So we worked hard, very hard." "We brought the rubber from Brazil and implanted here." "We took the Vietnamese, work with them, make something." "Something out of nothing." "So when you ask me why we want to stay here, captain, we want to stay here because it's ours." "It belongs to us." "It keeps our family together." "I mean, we fight for that." "While you, American, you are fighting for the biggest nothing in history." "I'm sorry, captain." "I will see if your men need any help to repair your boat so that you can go on with your war." "I apologize for my family, captain." "We have all lost much here." "Hubert, his wife and two sons." "And I have lost a husband." "I understand." "You are tired of the war." "I can see on your face." "It was the same in the eyes of the soldiers of our war." "We called them "Les Soldats Perdus,"" "The Lost Soldiers." "If you like, we can have some cognac." "No," "I have to see about my men and..." "The war will be still here tomorrow." "Yeah, I guess you're right." "I noticed you had no wine at dinner." "No, I don't drink wine." "I do like cognac, but I don't want any now, thank you." "Well then I must drink alone." "Will you go back after the war to America?" "No." "Then you're like us." "Your home is here." "Do you know why you can never step into the same river twice?" "Yeah." "Because it's always moving." "I used to prepare a pipe for my husband." "It was the morphine he took for the wounds he suffered in his heart." "He would rage and he would cry, my lost soldier." "And I said to him," ""There are two of you." "Don't you see?" "One that kills and one that loves."" "And he said to me," ""I don't know whether I am an animal or a god."" "But you are both." "You want more?" "All that matters is that you are alive." "You are alive, captain." "That's the truth." "There are two of you, don't you see?" "One that kills and one that loves." "Can't see nothing." "We stopping." "You're not authorized to stop this boat, Chief." "I said I can't see a thing, captain." "I'm stopping this boat." "I ain't risking no more lives." "I'm in command here, goddamn it." "You'll do what I say." "You see anything, Chef?" "Why don't they fucking attack, man?" "Watch it over here, Chief." "Got a stump." "Lance, on the 50s." "He was close," "He was real close," "I couldn't see him yet, but I could feel him as if the boat were being sucked upriver and the water was flowing back into the jungle," "Whatever was going to happen, it wasn't going to be the way they called it back at Nha Trang," "Arrows!" "Fire!" "Chef, open up!" "Fire!" "Chef, fire!" "Chef!" "Chef, it's okay." "Quit firing." "They're just little toy arrows." "Cut it out!" "Quiet!" "Chief, tell them to hold their fire!" "They're just little sticks." "They're just trying to scare us." "Quiet!" "You got us in this mess, and now you can't get us out, because you don't know where the hell you're going, do you?" "Do you?" "You son of a bitch!" "You bastard!" "Lance, get the wheel!" "You savages, come and get it!" "You son of a bitches!" "A spear." "My mission is to make it up into Cambodia." "There's a Green Beret colonel up there who's gone insane and I'm supposed to kill him." "That's fucking typical." "Shit." "Fucking Vietnam mission." "I'm short and we gotta go up there so you can kill one of our own guys?" "That's fucking great!" "That's just fucking great, man." "Shit." "That's fucking crazy." "I mean, I thought you were going in to blow up a bridge or some fucking railroad tracks or something." " Sorry." " No." "No, wait." "Wait." "We'll go together on the boat." "We'll go with you." "We'll go up there but on the boat." "Okay?" "Part of me was afraid of what I would find and what I would do when I got there," "I knew the risks," "Or imagined I knew," "But the thing I felt the most, much stronger than fear, was the desire to confront him," "Just keep moving." "Lance, keep your hands away from the guns." "It's all right!" "It's all right!" "It's all been approved!" "I ain't coming in there!" "Them bastards attacked us!" "Hey, zap them with your siren, man." "Zap them with your siren!" "There's mines over there and over there too." "And watch out." "Those goddamn monkeys bite you, I'll tell you." "That's a pretty one." "Move it right in toward me." "I'm an American!" "Yeah." "An American civilian." "Hi, Yanks." "Hi." "American." "American civilian." "It's all right." "And you got the cigarettes and that's what I've been dreaming about." "Chef." "Who are you?" "Who are you?" "I'm a photojournalist." "I've covered the war since '64." "I've been in Laos, Cambodia and Nam." "Baby." "I'll tell you one thing." "This boat is a mess, man." "Who are all these people?" "Yeah, well, they think you've come to take him away, and I hope that isn't true." "Take who away?" "Him." "Colonel Kurtz." "These are all his children, man, as far as you can see." "Hell, man, out here, we're all his children." "Could we talk to Colonel Kurtz?" "Hey, man, you don't talk to the colonel." "Well, you listen to him." "The man's enlarged my mind." "He's a poet warrior in the classic sense." "I mean, sometimes he'll..." "Well, you say hello to him, right?" "And he'll just walk right by you, and he won't even notice you." "And suddenly he'll grab you and he'll throw you in a corner and he'll say," ""Do you know 'if' is the middle word in 'life'?" "If you keep your head when all about are losing theirs and blaming you..." "If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you..."" "I can't..." "I'm a little man." "I'm a little man." "He's a great man." ""I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas."" " I mean..." " Stay with the boat." "Don't go any..." "Don't go without me, okay?" "I wanna get a picture." "He can be terrible, and he can be mean, and he can be right." "He's fighting the war." "He's a great man." "I mean..." "I wish I had words, you know." "I wish I had words." "I could tell you something." "The other day he wanted to kill me." "Something like that." "Why'd he wanna kill you?" "Because I took his picture." "He said, "If you take my picture again," "I'm gonna kill you."" "And he meant it." "So you just lay cool." "Lay cool, lay back, dig it." "He gets friendly again." "He really does." "But you don't judge the colonel." "You don't judge the colonel like an ordinary man." "Okay, watch it, now." "These are Americans." "Americans!" "Feel the vibe of this place." "Let me take your picture." "Hey, could you hold...?" "Hey, hello?" "Hello?" "Could you hold it for a minute?" "Colby." "The heads." "You're looking at the heads." "Sometimes he goes too far, you know." "He's the first one to admit it." " He's gone crazy." " Wrong, wrong." "If you could have heard the man just two days ago." "If you could've heard him then." "God." " You were gonna call him crazy?" " Fucking A." "I just wanna talk to him." "Well, man, he's gone away." "He's gone away." "He disappeared in the jungle with his people." " I'll wait for him." " He feels comfortable with his people." "He forgets himself with his people." "He forgets himself." "Captain?" "Maybe we should wait back at the boat." " I think you..." " Okay, Chef." "We'll go back to the boat for a while." "Yeah, stay with Lance." "This colonel guy, he's wacko, man." "He's worse than crazy." "He's evil." "I mean, that's what the man's got set up here, man." "It's fucking pagan idolatry." "Look around you." " Shit, he's loco." " Then you'll help me?" "Help?" "Fucking A, I'll help you." "I'll do anything to get out of this joint." "Good boy." "We could blow all them assholes away." "They're so fucking spaced out, they wouldn't even know it." "Well, I ain't afraid of all them fucking skulls and altars and shit." "I used to think if I died in an evil place, then my soul wouldn't be able to make it to heaven." "But now, fuck." "I mean, I don't care where it goes, as long as it ain't here." "So, what do you wanna do?" "I'll kill the fuck." " No, no." " Get out of here." "I'm gonna need you to wait here, Chef." "I'll go up with Lance and scrounge around, check the place out and see if I can find the colonel, okay?" "Well, what do you want me to do?" " Damn it." " Here." "You take the radio." "And if I don't get back by 2200 hours you call in the air strike." "Air strike?" "The code is "Almighty,"" "coordinates zero-niner-two-six- four-seven-one-two." "It's all in there." "0-9-2-6-4-7-1-2 Zero-niner-two-six- four-seven-one-two." "Everything I saw told me that Kurtz had gone insane," "The place was full of bodies," "North Vietnamese, Vietcong, Cambodians," "If I was still alive, it was because he wanted me that way," "It smelled like slow death in there," "Malaria, nightmares," "This was the end of the river, all right," "Where are you from, Willard?" "I'm from Ohio, sir." "Were you born there?" "Yes, sir." "Whereabouts?" "Toledo, sir." "How far are you from the river?" "The Ohio River, sir?" "About 200 miles." "I went down that river once when I was a kid." "There's a place in the river..." "I can't remember." "Must've been a gardenia plantation or a flower plantation at one time." "It's all wild and overgrown now." "But for about five miles you'd think that heaven just fell on the earth in the form of gardenias." "Have you ever considered any real freedoms?" "Freedoms from the opinion of others?" "Even the opinions of yourself?" "Did they say why..." "Willard?" "Why they want to terminate my command?" "I was sent on a classified mission, sir." "It's no longer classified is it?" "What did they tell you?" "They told me that you had gone totally insane and that your methods were unsound." "Are my methods unsound?" "I don't see any method at all, sir." "I expected someone like you." "What did you expect?" "Are you an assassin?" "I'm a soldier." "You're neither." "You're an errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect the bill." "Why, huh?" "Why would a nice guy like you wanna kill a genius?" "Feeling pretty good, huh?" "Why?" "Do you know?" "Do you know that the man...?" "The man really likes you?" "He likes you." "He really likes you." "But he's got something in mind for you." "Aren't you curious about that?" "I'm curious." "I'm very curious." "Are you curious?" "There's something happening out here, man." "You know something, man." "I know something that you don't know." "That's right, jack." "The man is clear in his mind, but his soul is mad." "Oh, yeah." "He's dying, I think." "He hates all this." "He hates it." "But the man's..." "He reads poetry out loud, all right?" "And a voice..." "A voice." "He likes you because you're still alive." "He's got plans for you." "No, no." "I'm not gonna help you." "You're gonna help him, man." "You're gonna help him." "I mean, what are they gonna say, man, when he's gone, huh?" "Because he dies when it dies, man." "When it dies, he dies." "What are they gonna say about him?" "They gonna say he was a kind man?" "He was a wise man?" "He had plans?" "He had wisdom?" "Bullshit, man." "Am I gonna be the one that's gonna set them straight?" "Look at me." "Wrong!" "You." "Almost eight hours," "I'm asleep," "I'm asleep and dreaming I'm on this shitty boat," "Fuck." "Has it been eight hours?" "Hello." "Almighty." "Almighty." "This is PBR Street Gang." "Radio check." "Over." "PBR Street Gang, this is Almighty standing by, Over," "Oh, shit!" "Oh, Christ." "TIME magazine." ""The weekly newsmagazine." "September 22, 1967." "Volume 90, number 12." "The war on the horizon." "The American people may find it hard to believe that the U.S. Is winning the war in Vietnam." "Nevertheless, one of the most exhaustive inquiries into the status of the conflict yet compiled offers considerable evidence that the weight of U.S. Power two and a half years after the big buildup began is beginning to make itself felt." "White House officials maintain the impact of that strength may bring the enemy to the point where he could simply be unable to continue fighting."" "Is this familiar?" ""Because Lyndon Johnson fears that the U.S. Public is in no mood to accept its optimistic conclusion, he may never permit the report to be released in full." "Even so, he is sufficiently impressed with the findings and sufficiently anxious to make their conclusions known, to permit experts who have been working on it to talk about it in general terms."" "No date, TIME magazine." ""Sir Robert Thompson, who led the victory over communist guerillas in Malaya is now a RAND corporation consultant, recently returned to Vietnam to sound out the situation for President Nixon." "He told the president last week that things felt much better and smelled much better over there."" "How do they smell to you, soldier?" "You'll be free." "You'll be under guard." "Read these at your leisure." "Don't lose them." "Don't try to escape." "You'll be shot." "We can talk of these things later." "We are the hollow men" "We are the stuffed men" "Leaning together Headpiece filled with straw," "Alas!" "Our dried voices, when We whisper together" "Are quiet and meaningless" "As wind in dry grass" " Or rats' feet over broken glass" " Oh, he's out there." "In our dry cellar" "He's really out there." "Shape without form," "Shade without color," "Paralyzed force," "Gesture without motion," "Do you know what the man's saying?" " Do you?" " Those who have crossed," "This is dialectics." "It's very simple dialectics." "One through nine." "No maybes, no supposes, no fractions." "You can't travel in space." "You can't go out into space, you know, without, like, you know, with fractions." "What you gonna land on?" "One-quarter?" "Three-eighths?" "What are you gonna do when you go from here to Venus or something?" "That's dialectic physics, okay?" "Dialectic logic is there's only love and hate." "You either love somebody or you hate them." "Mutt!" "You mutt." "This is the way the fucking world ends." "Look at this fucking shit we're in, man." "Not with a bang." "A whimper." "And with a whimper, I'm fucking splitting, jack." "On the river, I thought that the minute I looked at him" "I'd know what to do," "But it didn't happen," "I was in there with him for days not under guard," "I was free," "But he knew I wasn't going anywhere," "He knew more about what I was going to do than I did," "If the generals back in Nha Trang could see what I saw, would they still want me to kill him?" "More than ever, probably," "And what would his people back home want if they ever learned just how far from them he'd really gone?" "He broke from them and then he broke from himself," "I'd never seen a man so broken up and ripped apart," "I've seen the horrors." "Horrors that you've seen." "But you have no right to call me a murderer." "You have a right to kill me." "You have a right to do that." "But you have no right to judge me." "It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means." "Horror." "Horror has a face." "And you must make a friend of horror." "Horror and moral terror are your friends." "If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared." "They are truly enemies." "I remember when I was with Special Forces." "Seems a thousand centuries ago." "We went into a camp to inoculate some children." "We'd left the camp after we had inoculated the children for polio." "And this old man came running after us and he was crying." "He couldn't see." "We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm." "There they were in a pile." "A pile of little arms." "And I remember... I..." "I..." "I cried." "I wept like some grandmother." "I wanted to tear my teeth out." "I didn't know what I wanted to do." "And I wanna remember it." "I never wanna forget it." "I never wanna forget." "And then I realized, like I was shot..." "Like I was shot with a diamond..." "A diamond bullet right through my forehead." "And I thought, "My God, the genius of that." "The genius." "The will to do that." "Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure."" "Then I realized, they were stronger than me because they could stand it." "These were not monsters." "These were men, trained cadres." "These men who fought with their hearts, who have families, who have children, who are filled with love." "That they had the strength..." "The strength to do that." "If I had ten divisions of those men, then our troubles here would be over very quickly." "You have to have men who are moral and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling, without passion without judgment." "Without judgment." "Because it's judgment that defeats us." "I worry that my son might not understand what I've tried to be." "And if I were to be killed, Willard," "I would want someone to go to my home and tell my son everything." "Everything I did, Everything you saw," "Because there's nothing that I detest more than the stench of lies," "And if you understand me, Willard, you..." "You will do this for me," "PBR Street Gang, this is Almighty, Over," "PBR Street Gang, this is Almighty standing by, Over," "PBR Street Gang, this is Almighty standing by, How do you copy?" "They were gonna make me a major for this, and I wasn't even in their fucking Army anymore," "Everybody wanted me to do it," "Him most of all," "I felt like he was up there waiting for me to take the pain away," "He just wanted to go out like a soldier, standing up," "Not like some poor, wasted, rag-assed renegade," "Even the jungle wanted him dead," "And that's who he really took his orders from anyway," ""We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won't allow them to write 'fuck' on their airplane, because it's obscene."" "The horror." "The horror." "Calling PBR Street Gang," "PBR Street Gang, this is Almighty, Do you read me?" "Over," "PBR Street Gang?" "PBR Street Gang, this is Almighty..." "The horror," "The horror,"