"(MUSIC PLAYING)" "SAMANTHA:" "Not again." "Not ever again." "You've betrayed me for the last time." "God, I was such a fool." "A woman in love." "No more." "I wouldn't bother to kill you except I'm so looking forward to every last ounce of blood seeping out of your wretched body." "If I believed in demons, I'd damn your soul forever." "I'd put a stake through your heart, if only you had one, you bastard." "(GUN COCKS)" "I just wish that I could do to you what you did to me." "But this will have to do." "(GUNSHOT)" "I don't believe it." "(LAUGHS)" " No?" " STRYKER:" "No." "Audra could never pull the trigger." "A woman discovering her lover in bed with someone else?" "You don't know much about women... or love... or me." "Well, what do you think?" "I mean, I know it needs work." "The lighting will help." "Camera moves." "(LIGHTS CLICK)" "Stryker?" "(FOOTSTEPS)" "(WHISPERS) Stryker?" "May I help you?" "We're here to see Dr. Pendleton." "Have you got an appointment?" "He's expecting us." "Your name?" "Stryker." "There's a Mr. Stryker and a lady to see Dr. Pendleton." "WOMAN ON PHONE:" "Do you know who that lady is?" "That's Samantha Sherwood, you know?" "Yeah, I knew that." "Uh, the doctor will see you right away." "It's the first room on the right, just down the corridor." "Excuse me, Miss Sherwood." "May I have your autograph?" "Some other time." " Ah, Jonathan." " Arthur." " It's good to see you again." " Good to see you." "Samantha, this is Dr. Arthur Pendleton." "Hello, won't you sit down?" "Well, now, everything seems to be in order." "I spoke with Dr. Harrison and he confirmed what you told me, Jonathan." "So, we're all set?" "Yes." "I just need a couple of signatures." "Now, if you'll sign here." "All right." "It's an honor to have you here, Miss Sherwood." "I'm a longtime fan of yours." "I am looking forward to seeing "Audra."" "The film's been shelved, temporarily." "I didn't realize." "Oh, I need one signature from you, Miss Sherwood, if you'd sign here." "That's it." "I must say, Miss Sherwood, from Dr. Harrison's report," "I expected somewhat more severe behavior from you, but I see no reason why you shouldn't be back in front of the camera in no time." "STRYKER:" "Those days are over, Doctor." "I only hope she faked..." "Samantha!" "ARTHUR:" "Attendant!" "Get in here!" "Let go of me!" "Let go of me, I say!" "Let go of me!" "Let go of my hand!" "Let go of me!" "What are you..." "No!" "Don't do this!" " (GRUNTING)" " Go away!" "No!" "What are you doing?" "Get off!" "Get..." "ARTHUR:" "Set her down over there." "Good." " You all right?" " Yeah." "I see what you mean." "I think you should leave now." "Doctor, I'd like to have a moment alone with her, if I may." " Do you think that's wise?" " Well, look at her." "What harm could she do me or anyone else like that?" "All right." "We'll be outside if you need us." "Come with me." "(LAUGHING)" "Audra herself couldn't have done it better." "I think that poor doctor was in shock." " He's not the only one." " Are you all right, darling?" " You almost took my head off." " Well, the thought did occur to me." " What a performance." " (SIGHS) Method acting." " You have to believe it to do it." " Well, I'm convinced." "Do you really think this whole charade is necessary?" "Well, if I'm going to play a mad woman," "I've got to know what it's really like." "Don't you think this is going a bit too far?" "(SIGHS) Call it research." "Oh." "All for the sake of a role in the film?" "All for the sake of getting it right." "And you as my director, you should applaud my dedication." "You'd better go." " I liked you like this." " Oh, yes?" "What sort of women have you been seeing lately?" " None like you." " (LAUGHS)" "(WOMAN HUMMING)" "(SOBBING)" "(GIGGLING)" "(HYSTERICAL LAUGHING)" "Samantha, you look beautiful." "Stick to directing, Jonathan." "You make a terrible actor." "I've missed you, too." "I believe you." "Why so defensive?" "Oh come on, Jonathan." "Get enough psychiatric babble in here as it is." "Dr. Pendleton said that you're doing well." "Crazier than ever." "That's what you wanted, isn't it?" "(SCREAMING)" "(WHIMPERING)" "(SOBBING)" "Alice, what a pretty dress." "Never seen you wear that one before." "Oh, it's nothing." "Don't get too many chances to wear it here." "It's pretty." "May we dance?" "(WOMAN LAUGHING)" "I think we better dance." "(LAUGHING)" "(LAUGHTER ECHOING)" "I like the look." "It's very convincing." "They believe it." "They believe everything." "Are they all so vacant?" "The sane ones." "That's how you get by in here." "Well, you can drop all of this in front of me." "Relax, save it for the film." "So sad." " STRYKER:" "What is?" " Even their laughter's sad." "Makes you cry." "(SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING CONTINUES)" "(HUMMING)" "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "(BELL RINGS)" "(CHEERING)" "Have you ever wanted something so badly you would do anything for it?" "(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)" "Well, me, I want to be an actress." "(LAUGHING)" "I wanted to be in pictures so badly," "I screwed a guy from Fotomat." "(LAUGHING)" "You know when they say in and out in 24 hours?" "He was in and out in 24 seconds." "(LAUGHING)" "I am off to a casting session." "AUDIENCE:" "Whoo!" "Don't you wish you were going to be there with me?" "Now, kind of imagine this... six actresses going to the same house to audition for the same part." "Well, it sounds like a lot of fun if you like blood baths." "I mean, I can see it now, the actress saying to me," ""Excuse me, but I think that's my knife in your back."" "(CHEERING)" "MONTY:" "Single audition for Stryker." "Look, who does he think he is?" "I mean, God, who does he think I am?" "Relax, lady." "The man has strange ways, but he gets it done." "Have you seen the script?" "BROOKE:" "It's here somewhere." " Did you read it?" " I don't read without an offer." "MONTY:" "Brooke." "Jesus, Brooke." "I mean, if you wait for an offer from Stryker, we'll both starve to death." "BROOKE:" "Fuck you." "You're the agent." "Get me one." "It was all I could do to get you the audition, dear." "What you do for me is cash my checks." "Nice work if you can get it, Monty." "MONTY:" "Just go see the man, okay?" "God, I look like shit." "I should look so bad." " Have you seen the trades?" " BROOKE:" "The trades?" "Yes, have you seen Friday's "Variety," dear?" "You know I never read that crap." "Right." "Jonathan Stryker said that there was only one actress in the world who he'd consider for Audra... you, cuckoo head!" "He said that about me?" "Yes, of course he did." "Well, not in so many words, but that was the general gist of the thing." "BROOKE:" "But I thought Samantha Sherwood was playing Audra?" "Samantha Sherwood?" "Health problems." "You're the one." "SAMANTHA:" "That bastard." "I still can't believe Stryker left me in the asylum." "If you hadn't sent "Variety," I never would have known he was going ahead without me anyway." "WOMAN:" "I figured you'd be upset." "What are you going to do now?" "SAMANTHA:" "Whatever I have to do to get it back." "Well, aren't you in enough trouble already?" "By now, they're bound to know you've escaped." "Let them come after me." "What I have to do won't take long." "Why don't you just forget about it?" "That's the one thing I'll never do." "I didn't help you get out to see you thrown back in again." " Why did you?" " You're my friend." "I felt sorry for you." "SAMANTHA:" "Stryker's the one you should feel sorry for." "This time, he's gone too far." "(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)" "(WATER RUNNING)" "(MUFFLED SCREAMING)" "(GASPING)" "(CRYING)" "(PANTING)" "(LAUGHS)" "(KISSES)" "Wow, you didn't put up much of a fight." "I didn't want a run in my stocking." "(PANTING)" "(SIGHS)" "This is getting a little boring." "Well, there's always the pizza boy." "(CHUCKLES) No, too messy." "Besides, the pepperoni always sticks to my ass." "That's the only way to keep it warm." " What about Pac-Man?" " What's that?" "Well, a depressed spinster buys a home video game." "She takes it that night." "The monster comes alive and eats everything in its way." "Not tomorrow night, he doesn't." "Well, he's easy, how about Saturday?" "Sunday." "Keep the little guy warmed up." "Why, you going somewhere?" "Told you, this weekend is Stryker's casting session." "What kind of an audition is that?" "The guy invites six women up to his house and calls it work." "At least he's original." "I wish you wouldn't go." "I want the part." "More then you want my part?" "(LAUGHS) Don't be silly." "Much more than I want your part." "It'd be funny if it weren't true." "I won't pass up this chance." "Might not be here when you get back." "Well, then I just better give you something to remember me by." "PETER:" "You mean, straight?" "No games?" "I'm just me, and you're just you?" "Reality." "That's different." "(THUNDER CRASHING)" "RADIO ANNOUNCER:" "The cold weather should continue with a good chance we'll see some snow before it's over." "So, find somebody warm and dig in." "(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)" "♪ 'Cause you saved my soul... ♪" "♪ Gave my heart the dream... ♪" "(THUNDER CRASHING)" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "(THUNDER CRASHING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(SIGHS) Oh, God." "Peter?" "Peter?" "Peter?" "Come on, Peter, no more games, huh?" "(GASPS)" "(GRUNTS)" "(BODY THUDS)" "I first read the book when I was a little girl." "It was so beautiful." "Do you know it?" "CHRISTIE:" "I am Audra." "I am Audra." "I'm not Audra." "I am Audra." "I am Audra." "I'm not Audra." "(BIRDS CHIRPING)" "Uh, that's $10.25, lady." "Well, it's here somewhere." "Maybe you can work it off." "I like older men, you know." "14?" "15?" "Hold this, please." " Are you a writer?" " No, actress." "Yeah, I thought I'd seen you on TV before." "Not a chance, I would have remembered you." "Where you headed?" "Jonathan Stryker's place." "You know it?" "Yeah, just follow the road up the hill." "Say, do you know Miss Sherwood." "Samantha Sherwood?" "I've heard of her." "God, she was great." "Still is, I guess." "Thanks." "Thanks." " (DOG BARKING) - (OWL HOOTING)" "CHRISTIE:" "Are we really all here for the same part?" "BROOKE:" "He obviously doesn't know what he wants." "What could we all possibly have in common?" "Sex?" "(LAUGHS)" "I mean, we're all women." "(LAUGHING) You could have fooled me." "Aren't you Brooke Parsons?" "Yes, I am." "The rest of us might as well pack it in right now." "What are you doing here?" "I'd kill for the part." " I'd fuck for it." " (LAUGHING)" "Don't much want the part, huh?" " What would you do for it?" " Oh, I don't know." "Uh, tell a few jokes, do a little song and dance, sell my mother into slavery." " Go down on him." " (LAUGHING)" "STRYKER:" "That shouldn't be necessary, but I'll keep it in mind." "One of you is missing." "I trust you'll keep us amused, O'Connor." "(CLOCK CHIMES)" "Parsons, I've long admired your work." "Summers, hello." "DeMillo." "I look forward to hearing you perform," "DeMillo's a musician." "Burns, you bring your skates?" " Yes." " Good." "This is Matthew." "And one of you is Audra." "Which one, I don't yet know." "The next two days will be unlike any you've ever known." "Not all of you will make it, but I promise, each of you will have learned something about themselves and their craft." "SAMANTHA:" "For all the good it will do you." "We missed you at dinner." "Ladies, may I present Samantha Sherwood, an actress I've known for some time." "You may remember her work." "Samantha, may I introduce..." "No, don't bother, darling." "They all look alike to me." "Well, Stryker, is this your idea of a casting session?" "Are you going to play, Samantha?" "You know I am." "(OWL HOOTING)" "(TARA LAUGHING)" "(MOANS)" "(LAUGHING)" "Hey!" "It's like old times, isn't it, Samantha?" "You haven't changed a thing, Stryker." "It's exactly as I left it." "Why are you here?" "Why have you brought those girls here?" "Forget it, Samantha." "Perhaps once you were Audra." "Today..." "But, I bought you the rights to Audra." "For which I am grateful." "It was for us." "Not anymore." "Come on." "You know I like you." "Well..." "Come on." "Just once." "Come on." "No, I don't." "Come on, okay?" "Well... okay." "Oh!" "Oh boy!" "You give great head!" "(CHUCKLES)" "Gross." "Wee bit past your bedtime, isn't it, darling?" "Oh." "Has anyone seen my skates?" "I can't seem to find my new pair." "The girl thinks she's on holiday." "Oh no." "It's bad for your wind." "I'm still in training." "God knows why." "I get up every morning at dawn to practice." " Dawn?" " I bet you're fun on dates." "It makes me feel good." "Guess you got to want it more than being loved." "Isn't that how you feel about acting?" "It depends on the love." "(LAUGHS)" "I suppose." "Well, I'll see you in the morning." "You don't like her?" "What's she doing here?" "She's just a baby." "You nervous, too?" "Me?" "I'm scared to death." "But you've been doing this for years." "I can remember seeing you in..." "I started early." " It never gets easier." " (TARA LAUGHING)" "Well, there's always the casting Jacuzzi." "BROOKE:" "What?" "PATTI:" "It's like the casting couch, only wetter." " SAMANTHA:" "I won't give up." " STRYKER:" "Spare me the melodrama." "SAMANTHA:" "If it wasn't for me," " you wouldn't even have a project." " STRYKER:" "I'd find something." "SAMANTHA:" "Oh, you're a hypocrite and a liar." "You never intended to get me out, did you?" "STRYKER:" "I did what I felt was best for everyone involved." "SAMANTHA:" "Deserting me in an asylum?" "STRYKER:" "It was your idea to commit yourself." "SAMANTHA:" "But not forever." "STRYKER:" "I'm not convinced you're cured yet." "SAMANTHA:" "Oh, Stryker, I was never insane." "STRYKER:" "Perhaps I should call the good doctor." "Let him know where you are." "I suspect he'd be most interested." "SAMANTHA:" "Well, I'll tell him the truth." "STRYKER:" "And I'll deny everything." "And you, my dear, will move back" " into Restview Manor permanently." " SAMANTHA:" "I'll die first." "(GASPS)" "I was just passing by and I heard voices." "Come in, my dear, come in." "What you heard is a scene I wrote many years ago for a play." "SAMANTHA:" "A very bad play." "A very bad play indeed." "Saved only by your talent and beauty, Samantha." "A play?" "You mean, it was all a joke?" "Well, let's call it a performance." "But it sounded so real." "Tricks of the trade, my dear, tricks of the trade." "Give the people what they want to believe in." "It's part of our profession." "CHRISTIE:" "But how did you know I was standing outside the door." "STRYKER:" "Well, it seems I've developed a sixth sense..." "(FOOTSTEPS)" "(METAL GRINDING)" "(SIGHS)" "(CRYING)" "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "♪ We went together ♪" "♪ For so long ♪" "♪ Every second record on the radio ♪" "♪ Seemed like our song ♪" "♪ How we hurt each other, baby ♪" "♪ Baby, it was so wrong ♪" "♪ Something in the bottom of my heart ♪" "♪ Will keep me holding on ♪" "♪ We were lovers ♪" "♪ In the young and strong and bold days ♪" "♪ Turned them into treasures ♪" "♪ Of silver and gold days ♪" "♪ Even though we're older ♪" "♪ There's still nothin' like the old days ♪" "♪ Something in the bottom of my heart ♪" "♪ Will keep me holding on ♪" "♪ 'Cause you saved my soul ♪" "♪ You came along and took me out of the night time ♪" "♪ Yes, you saved my soul ♪" "♪ Taught me to fly ♪" "♪ And I gave my heart... ♪" "(MUSIC STOPS)" "Oh." "Oh." "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "(GASPS)" "(WHIMPERING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(PANTING)" "(GROANING)" "(BIRD CAWING)" "(WHIMPERING)" "(CRYING)" "(WHIMPERING)" "(CRYING)" "(GASPS)" "(BLADE SLICES)" "(GROANING)" "BROOKE:" "Has anyone seen Christie?" "She's gone." "She left a note under my door this morning." "Apparently, she couldn't handle it." "I know how she feels." "How did she get out with the road snowed in?" "Maybe Matthew took her." "Well, I wonder what changed her mind." "She was perfectly alright last night." "And then there were four." "Christie must've had a difficult night." "Did she?" "I wouldn't know." "BROOKE:" "Wouldn't you?" "Let's start with you, Parsons." "You're the veteran." "(DOOR OPENS)" "No, I am." "This isn't really necessary, Samantha." "(LAUGHS)" "Oh, but it is, obviously." "I know what you can do." "Then why are they here?" "Can we talk about this later?" "I don't want to talk." "I want to act." "All right." "Take center stage." "(FOOTSTEPS)" "So, what the hell are you doing here?" " I'm an actress." " You're an actress." "There's an echo in here." "Your turn will come." "What makes you think you can act?" " I know I can." " Could?" " Can." " So, act." " What?" " Act for us." "I could do a prepared piece." "I've seen them all before." "You're such a perfect lady." "So beautiful, so refined." "What if you weren't so gifted?" "How would you act then?" " I don't think..." " Good." "Don't think, just do it." "Make yourself ugly for us." "Can you?" "What if your face were different?" "It could be one day, you know." "Hideous, repulsive." "Put it on." "Put it on." "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "Now seduce me." "No words." "You can make sounds if you like, but no lines." "No touching." "Just the mask." "Use your eyes, your mouth... and horrible beauty." "Make me love you." "Make me desire you." "You're beautiful remember?" "You can't be denied." "This is a mask, too." "Are you satisfied?" "All right, page 58, the seduction scene." "(GASPS) Medics!" "You want me to sit there, right?" "Right." "(SIGHS)" "Ah, so..." "I guess you're wondering why I called you here, right?" "(SIGHS) Well, Doc, you see, it all started when my mother locked me in the closet." "I was 21 at the time." "You want me to wear the mask?" "No, that's not necessary." "Too bad." "Might be an improvement." "Mm." "Oh, boy, this is what you call bombing, right?" "Are you on something?" "Oh, God, don't I wish." "Oh, I'm on nerves, actually." "Sheer, raw nerves." "And if we don't get on with this," "I'm liable to break down right before your very eyes." "Oh, I don't think that's necessary either." "In fact, this whole session isn't necessary." "Why?" " You're a very talented..." " Joke, right?" "Good for a laugh but nothing serious, is that it?" "Oh, yeah, tell me something I don't know." "What makes you think you're right for Audra?" "I'm as right as anybody else you've got here." "I mean, God damn it, you haven't spent five minutes with me and now you're telling me I'm wrong for the part?" "Why?" "Because I haven't got a staple through my navel like that centerfold?" "Because I wouldn't pirouette into bed with you and skate on your face?" "I mean, what the hell are you looking for anyway and what do you want from me?" "I mean, who the fuck is Audra anyway?" "You enjoying yourself?" "Showing a little bit of Audra." "(SOFTLY) You bastard." "Where's the mask?" "What do you mean?" "What the hell are you up to, Samantha?" "What am I up to?" "You bring five totally different girls here on a bogus casting session for a part that was mine in the first place, and you ask me what I am up to?" "BROOKE:" "No more." "I wouldn't bother to kill you, except I'm so looking forward to every last ounce of blood seeping out of your wretched body." "If I believed in demons, I'd damn your soul forever." "(WATER DRIPPING)" "I'd put a stake through your heart if only you had one, you bastard." "(TAPS)" "(TAPS)" "Oh!" "Oh." "(SIGHS)" "(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)" "(NERVOUS BREATHING)" "No, no, no, no, no." "You're a man seducing a woman." "Now forget your sex." "Enter into his imagination." "Become one with him." "Use your vulnerability." "(WATER DRIPPING)" "(TAPS)" "No!" "Brooke?" "(CRYING) Christie." "What about her?" "She's dead." "No, you've had a nightmare." " No." " No one is dead." " But I saw her." " You're imagining things." "Let me take you to your room." " No." " Maybe I should." "STRYKER:" "We'll continue later." " Come on." " Please, no." " There's nothing there." " Please." " Come on." " (CRYING)" " Come on." " No, no, no, no!" " Come on!" " Please, no!" "What the hell is frightening you?" "Christie." " Christie." " Don't, don't go in." "(PANTING)" "(SHOWER CURTAIN SLIDES)" "There's absolutely nothing in there." "Go on, take a look." "Don't, please." "There, in there." "No!" "(CRYING)" "Come on." "Come on." "You're gonna lose it." "Get some rest." "How is she?" "I don't know, the door's shut." "Stryker's probably trying to calm her down." "(LAUGHS) I'll bet." "Why would she say that?" "Christie's dead?" "She's been drinking a lot." "Yeah, but that doesn't explain Amanda never arriving," "Matthew's disappeared." "I'm scared." "Maybe Brooke is smarter than we think." "What do you mean?" "Brooke is acting just like Audra." "Well, yeah, I suppose, but aren't you being a little..." " Cynical?" " Yeah." "Well, all's fair in love and auditions." "(DOOR SHUTS)" "STRYKER'S VOICE:" "It's like old times, isn't it, Samantha?" "(SAMANTHA LAUGHING)" "STRYKER'S VOICE:" "Audra herself couldn't have done it better." "SAMANTHA'S VOICE:" "I thought that doctor was going to go into shock." "STRYKER'S VOICE:" "Are you going to play, Samantha?" "SAMANTHA'S VOICE:" "Why have you brought those girls here?" "STRYKER'S VOICE:" "Forget it, Samantha." "Perhaps, once you were Audra." "Today... (GLASS SHATTERS)" "(WIND HOWLING)" "(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)" "(HEAVY BREATHING)" " (MUFFLED CRIES) - (BLADE STABS)" "(BLADE STABS)" "Tell me about Audra." "What is it you want to know?" "BROOKE:" "What's she like?" "Is she anything like me?" "Is she anything like the others?" " Can't you tell me?" " (DOOR OPENS)" "(GUNSHOTS)" "(GLASS SHATTERING)" "(SCREAMING)" "Help!" "Patti!" "Brooke!" "Somebody!" "(WIND HOWLING)" "(CRYING)" "(PANTING)" "(CAR ENGINE SPUTTERING)" "Damn it!" "Come on!" "Oh, come on." "Matthew!" "(PANTING)" "(CRASHING)" "(RATTLES)" "(SHRIEKS)" "(ELECTRIC HUMMING)" "(SCREAMS)" "(SCREAMS)" "Help, somebody!" "Help!" "Help me!" "(GROANS)" "(SHRIEKS)" "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(GRUNTING)" "(CRYING)" "(SOBBING)" "(GASPS)" "(METAL CLANKS)" "(WOODEN THUD)" " (DRIPS) - (GASPS)" "(GASPS)" "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "Come on." "Oh, please." "Come on, shut." "Please." "(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)" "(SCREAMING)" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Oh no!" "Please, no!" "(SCREAMING)" " (GRUNTING) - (HACKING)" "(WIND HOWLING)" "(HEAVY BREATHING)" " (CORK POPS)" " Oh!" "(BOTTLE CLATTERS)" "There's plenty more in the refrigerator." "Audra would know how to open a bottle of champagne." "She would have smashed the bottle against the counter and drank from the broken neck." "How do you know'?" "It's what I would do." "(CLICKS TONGUE)" "Too violent." "Audra was mad." "Did you know that I was in an asylum?" "I heard you were sick." "He thought so." "He left me there." "Stryk?" "I had myself committed to learn what Audra knew." "And what did you find out?" "That an actress must always be in control." "If you know what you're doing, you're doing it wrong." "That's what Stryker would have said." "We're the same." "He would have liked that." "He was fond of disciples." "Young, pretty ones." "Was?" "Where is he?" "Gone." "He left?" "He's dead." "It wasn't supposed to be like that, I..." "It's all over now." "Go back." "Go back to the acting classes and the dinner theater, the chorus line." "Wait tables, be somebody's secretary, get married, grow old together." "Forget about Audra." "Have I shocked you?" "I'm not sorry." " Tell me what you've done." " I killed Stryker." "You want to call the police, go ahead." "I'm not going anywhere." "Don't worry, I won't hurt any of your friends." "It's only me." "What do you mean?" "They're dead, too." "What?" "You?" "Why?" "(SCREAMING)" "Have you ever wanted something so badly, you'd do anything for it?" "Me?" "I wanted to be an actress." "(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)" "PATTI'S VOICE:" "I mean, I wanted to be in pictures so badly," "I screwed a guy from Fotomat." "(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)" "You know when they say in and out in 24 hours?" "He was in and out in 24 seconds." "(LAUGHING)" "Well, I know what you're wondering." "The question is, can she act?" "(ECHOING) Right?" "That's what you're wondering." "Can she make it?" "I mean, can I act?" "Just ask my boyfriend." "Better yet, ask my mother." "(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)"