"ANDERS:" "She is way too smart, and she is so not your type." "COLIN:" "Word in her ear, your sweet powers of persuasion," " just to tip her over the edge." " ANDERS:" "Never." "(yells)" "That's right." "Hod's back." " Don't go down that road, Mike." " What road?" "The Odin road." "JOE:" "You love running this family." "If you weren't in charge, you'd be bloody miserable." " You're a miracle worker." " That's me." "It won't do anything for you." "It's a chick thing." " Jormungand is stirring." " Yes, Mike." "Big time." "If I, Odin, find the Frigg then the first thing I'll do is deal to Jormungand and therefore stop Ragnarok." " And thereby save the world." " Exactly." "I am Frigg." "I seek a man-god, worthy of the name "Odin"." "Whoa!" "I've got it." "I've so got it!" "Whatever it is, I don't want it." "I had this incredible dream." "I saw the Frigg." " You saw her?" " In a beer commercial." "For "Odin's Ale." This is how we find her!" " Watching beer commercials?" " Making beer commercials." "(groans) I've gotta stop bringing home free pizzas, man." "Mozzarella build-up must be destroying your brain." "We call for auditions for the commercial." "To try out, girls have to have all the things Frigg might be:" "Norwegian heritage;" "C to D cup..." "Where is it prophesied about Frigg's bra size?" "That was more for me." "We'll leave that out." "Point is, rather than search for a needle in a haystack we get the Frigg to come to us." " We smoke her out!" " Odin's Ale." "Is it like a lager or more of a hoppy kind of...?" "Our beer doesn't exist, Axl." "That's the beauty of the plan." "We don't have to make the beer, we don't have to make the ad, we just have to hold the auditions!" " And she will come to us." " Yes!" "On second thoughts, this might be our best idea ever." "♪ Oh, my God I'm beaten in the game of love ♪" "♪ And I fall down, I fall down on my knees, I fall ♪" "DAWN: "Gundersen issued a statement withdrawing from the mayoral campaign for personal reasons," " effective immediately."" " And the city is saved." " DAWN:" "He is such a wanker." " You hold onto that thought." " A well-paying wanker." " Money's not everything." "You hold on to that thought while we go out of business." "Something else more acceptable than Colin will come along." "Is that what you were doing the other night in the alley?" "How do you mean?" "Telling Colin how unacceptable" " his business is?" " Yeah, something like that." " Why?" "What did you see?" " Nothing." "I left, like you told me to." "Why was Ty there?" "To help me if Colin didn't like what I said." "You know what a coward I am." "Ah, young people up before midday." "Must be important." "We're here to pick your brains." "Hey, Dawn." " Then pick away." " It's kind of about our, um, you know, mutual problem." " Zeb?" " Hey!" "No." "Not him." "The problem we have... mutually." " Would you like me to leave?" " Yeah." "If that's OK." "Well, I'll go and stand on a street corner yelling," " "Anyone here need PR?"" " You go do that, Dawn." " So, what mutual problem?" " Finding Frigg." "To clarify, you're still pursuing the quest?" "Of course." "It's my duty, as Odin." "Last I recall you took off with Dad to find yourself or some such shit, not Frigg." "Yeah, well, I'm back now and I'm totally on the quest." "How?" "Ah, we got Ingrid all over researching the genealogy crap." "Except for the fact that she's kinda gone missing lately." "Good start." "And...?" "And I'm using my pizza delivery job as a cover for, as I think of it, "intuitive covert research."" "You'll stumble across your goddess by delivering her pizza?" " Yes." " How's that working out?" " It's early days." " We have the best idea ever." "hold open auditions for Frigg in a fake beer commercial." "We just need to make a big noise." "Get the word out there." "So the real Frigg will hear, and get curious." " That's where I come in, right?" " Yes." "To spread the word." "The word that two half-wits have had possibly the lamest idea in the history of thought?" " How is this lame?" " If you're Frigg, why in Thor's name would you want to be in an ad playing Frigg?" "Doesn't that kind of blow your cover?" " I thought you wanted to help?" " I am your quest's biggest fan." " Then why won't you help?" " It's a terrible idea that will land everyone involved in shit!" " We'll do it by ourselves." " OK." "Good luck." " I mean that sincerely." " You don't." " You're as bad as Mike." " What's Mike got to do with it?" " Doesn't matter." " OK, look, I will help." " By organizing the auditions?" " No, by tracking down Ingrid." "That's the least stupid one of your ideas, just above the pizza one." "But as for the ad, boys, you're on your own." "For someone so overworked, you're kind of glowing." "Thank you." "Medicine can be a very fulfilling career" " if you let it." " Right." "This great research project of yours." "The pathophysiology and treatment of metabolic bone diseases." "That." "Yeah." "The one that means that you're working every hour of every day at the hospital." " Not every hour of every day." " How long will it be going on?" "Things will be back to normal soon." "I'll make it up to you." "I promise." "How 'bout you?" "Maybe start on downstairs today?" " Maybe, see how it goes." " Well, whatever you do," " you have a great day, OK?" " Yeah." "You too." "She's hiding something." "I know she is." "She is a woman." "It's in their nature." "She knows that I know but she's waiting for me to ask." "Then ask." "You haven't learnt much in your 90-whatever years, have you?" "(laughs) About women?" "Of course not." "Oh, it's OK." "I just need one." "Thanks." "Doesn't being suspicious tend to indicate a bit of a problem" " in the trust department?" " Yeah, but if I act on it and it turns out to be something I have no right to be suspicious about, then the trust is breached." "OK, this is where relationships and me part company." " OLAF:" "Is she having an affair?" " MIKE:" "No." "OLAF:" "You sound pretty sure for a suspicious man." " Well, why would she?" " True, Mike." "You're all the man any woman needs." "MIKE:" "Affairs bring guilt." "Michele's not guilty." "She's content." "She's suspiciously content about something." "I suspect it might be a goddess thing." "OLAF:" "OK." "Stay away from that shit." "MIKE:" "Yeah, exactly." "Unless she's plotting to kill you." "I'm just saying." " How's it going?" " MAN:" "Good, thanks." "No, if she wants me to know what sort of goddessy shit she's got going on, she'll tell me." "That would seem logical." "And, just out of interest, have you told her about your godly shit that you're now using for monetary gain" " on a regular basis?" " Hell, no." "As long as there's no double standard." "Shut up, Grandpa." "So I'll ask for this week's wages in advance" " to pay for camera hire." " Take a look." " AXL:" "Whoa." "Good work." " Screw Anders and his scorn." "He's old." "This is our world now." "We have pages on every major social media site all linked back to our audition page." "The best part is..." "100 plus responses already." " Man." " I've got a good feeling." " You're in my chair." " Where's Ingrid freeloading?" "I wish I could help, but I haven't seen her in ages." "Busy lives, we don't cross paths that often." "You're lying your arse off." "And you are the world's worst liar with not much in the arse department either." "Get out of my chair." "Tell you what, you tell me where Ingrid is right now and you can have your chair back." "This is also a 20% deposit on your own personal healing session, should you choose to book one after you've heard the healer." "Oh, my goodness." "What are you doing here?" "I'd quite like to meet this Goddess Healer, actually." " She sounds neat." " No." "That's not possible." " Why not?" " It's a woman thing." "Are you denying me cos I have a penis, Ingrid?" "I mean, that doesn't sound right." "Women sometimes ask, how did I learn to do these wonderful things?" "I'll tell you a secret." "I didn't "learn" anything." "What I did was "un-learn."" "I un-learned doubt." "I un-learned fear." "I un-learned distrust." "And when I left those things behind me..." "I found me." "We know that the world is full of people all about themselves." "The self-interested." "The manipulators." "But today, ladies, you take the first steps in saying goodbye to those negative energies." "Today you turn away from things that are holding you back." "The things that are causing you pain." "Making you sick." "Today, with me you begin the journey to discover the goddess that lies within." "Today you allow yourselves to be the women you were born to be." "The healer's one-on-one sessions will start in half an hour, in the executive suite." "We still have one or two spaces left." "I'm sorry I didn't stay for the whole empowering blah blah spiel but I didn't want to undermine your beautiful words by laughing" " so hard I wet my pants." " You don't belong here." " Because I have a prick?" " Because you are a prick." "It's good to see you got rid of all those negative energies." "I really like what you're doing, the whole new-age crap, Michele." "The Goddess Healer, excellent." "Now my educated guess is that you're healing these suckers of their aches and pains with Yggdrasil, aren't you?" " I'm changing people's lives." " With my stick." "You're talk." "I'm action." "And that is what the Goddess Healer is all about." " Using her powers to do good." " And a pile of cash." " Go away, Anders." " I just want to help." "Or, put it another way..." "I want in." "What's Mike's opinion on this?" "I'm just interested to know." " Get in." " OK." "Thanks for coming." "I thought we should check out the set before we shoot." "In the film industry we call this "a recce."" "All good." "I just have to be quick, I'm on a job." "In the pizza industry we call this "a delivery."" "I've been working on the script." "I think it's really quite good." "They're doing a production of Oklahoma." "We just need to be out by 6:30." ""The setting sun reflects over the fjords."" "Do fjords have wishing wells?" "We have to work around their set." "You'll be in your producer's chair, over there." "I'll be operating the camera." "I've put together a final list of auditionees." "It'll be tight, but I think we can get them all." "Shit, Zeb." "The name of the Frigg could be right here in my hand." "When she walks in that door, when the lights go nuts and we finally find her, we save the world." " (laughs)" " Boom." "I like waking up beside you." "Hello, Ty?" "Ty, it's Dawn." "Ty?" "Hello." " Ty." " Dawn?" "Shit." "I just came round to give you back your cupcake thingy." "And the back door was open." "Well, this is so rude, it must look terrible." "Yeah, thought I might have to use my martial arts skills." "But since it's you, I'll let you off." "Thanks, that was thoughtful." "No worries." "So are you still doing your ice carving?" "That's an odd thing to ask." "How do you know about that?" "You must have mentioned it once." "I don't remember doing so." "But, you do, right?" "Or you used to?" "Used to, yeah." "Listen, Dawn, I'm kind of busy." "I'm pretty sure you need to get back to work." "Yeah, you're right." "Flat-out at the office." "Sorry if I offended you, barging in like this." " It's always nice to see you." " OK." "Well." "See you soon." "So you know, there is a fine line between healing and pain." " I bet you're good at both." " Oh, yes." "If you screw this up I will be very unhappy." " All I want to do is watch." " I bet you like to watch." "No, I like to participate but we'll get to that later." " (phone rings)" " Can I just...?" "Ty, this is a really bad time." "Did you tell Dawn about me ice carving?" "Of course not." "Why would I?" "To bore her to death?" " (knocking on door)" " Look, I have to go." "In there." "Do not make a sound." "If you do I have another use for the stick, the same technique they use on baby seals." "Healer, this is Ngaire who has been troubled with lumbago for much of her life." "Ngaire, this is Michele, the healer." " Hello." " Hello." "My friend Deirdre said to tell you that her endometriosis has completely..." "Oh, sorry." "The healer prefers if you don't talk so that she can summon her powers." " Please, close your eyes." " OK." "I've seen dozens of doctors about it." " I've tried every remedy." " Shh." "Yes." "Sorry." "You can open your eyes." " How do you feel now?" " I don't feel any pain." "It's all gone." "Oh, my Lord..." "Then go and live your life." "Be the goddess you can be." " Thank you." "Thank you!" " Ingrid?" "OK, Ngaire, you need to come with me." "The healer is not big on physical contact." " Congratulations." "Quite a show." " I do what I can." "My favorite was the woman with the bunions." "The look on your face when you had to touch her feet." "I bring profound change into people's lives." " What do you get paid?" " This is women helping women." "Wonderful." "And what goes in the bank?" "I pocket maybe five K. For two hours' work, tops." "I could do without the hugging and the tears." "Healed people can be so needy." "But still..." " Five thousand?" " It's not bad compensation." "For performing miracles?" "I'd say you're selling yourself short." "Last guy that did this sort of thing started a multinational business that's been going 2,000 years." "Ingrid and I are being very discreet." " You're cocking that up too." " We agreed as partners." "What does your "partner" bring to the deal?" "Ingrid organizes things." "Venue, bookings, one-on-one appointments, the financials." " She's surprisingly good at it." " Hmm, yeah, except for the bit where you should be making millions and it's all going to end in disaster." " So what's your split?" "90/10?" " Fifty/fifty." "(laughs) You're not joking?" "Boy, you are doing this wrong in every possible way." "INGRID:" "Another good day's work!" "Another ecstatic bunch of newly healthy women..." "Oh, what's he still doing here?" "Witnessing miracles, Ingrid." "The healing of the lumbago, hallelujah!" "He was watching?" "!" "I thought you kicked him out!" " This is sacred goddess space." " It's alright." "Anders is like a goddess in that he has no penis to speak of." "Oh, and on that charming note I shall take my leave." "Keep up the good work, ladies." " TY:" "Olaf." " Hey, Ty." "I think I'm addicted." "Can we go somewhere else and talk?" "We can talk here." "Unless you want to wait until these little balls stop popping out of the ground, and daring me to hit them." "Dawn asked me today about ice-carving." "That's good, isn't it?" "You like ice-carving." "Could be a hobby you do together." " No, she remembered I did it." " That's also good, isn't it?" "No!" "It means Hod is back!" "I thought we already established Hod was back." "In bursts." "When I'm revved up." "And Hod's not the me I want her to remember." " There's way too much baggage." " Like almost killing her." "(sighs) Yes." "I'm screwed if I'm a god." "I'm screwed if I'm not." "Basically, I'm just screwed." "Hitting golf balls seems to make everything a lot better." " You need to try it." " What I need is to keep as far as possible away from Dawn." "Now that is almost as good as surfing." "Honesty equals freedom?" "I still don't see why you let him watch." "He's probably blabbing to everyone now." " He won't do that." " I've finally got my own place." "I know he's gonna barge in, not caring about anyone else, like he always does, and ruin it." "Ingrid." "Un-learn fear." "Un-learn distrust." "OK?" "I'd like to un-learn Anders Johnson." "You think Yggdrasil can help with that?" "I can control Anders, so don't you worry." " Another tough day?" " It had its moments." "Rolling back the frontiers of medicine, eh?" "Something you want to talk about, Mike?" "Because we can talk if you want." "No, I'm good." "Thanks." "Thank you." "Thanks for coming." "Anyone need a script?" "Ladies." "Welcome." "The producer and I thank you for your enthusiasm for our project." "Just a little housekeeping." "The role we're auditioning for is Frigg." "Frigg is a Norwegian goddess." "So we have some bad news for the following auditionees:" "uh, Indira Singh, Teuila Fa'amasino." "I am Frigg of the fjords." "When I look out upon the icy waters of my Norwegian home" "I think of the purity of rain fallen from the heavens..." " This isn't the script." " I made a few tweaks." "And thank you!" "That's all we need!" "You were awesome." "We'll let you know." "I am Frigg of the fjords." "When I look upon the icy waters of my Norwegian home" "I think of the purity of rain..." " Nope." " And thank you!" "I am Frigg of the fjords." "When I look out upon the icy waters of my Norwegian home..." "Thank you, we'll let you know." " I am Frigg of the fjords." " Nope." "And thank you." " I am Frigg of the fjords." " Sorry." " I am Frigg of the fjords." " Sorry, not what we're after." " Thank you." " Are you sure?" "Yes, Zeb." " I am Frigg of the fjords." " No." "Sorry." "Thank you." "Would it help if I took my top off?" "I am Frigg of the fjords." "And when I look out upon the icy waters of my Norwegian home..." "Don't you dare say a word!" " Everything OK?" " Sorry." "I'm here for my meeting with Anders Johnson." "I'm from State of Mind, the mental health research group." " About the re-branding?" " Sorry, he didn't mention you." "He can't be far away." "Won't be a tic." "Hi, it's Anders." "Beep coming." "(beep)" "Anders, your meeting is here, call me back ASAP with when you can get into the office." " I'm really sorry about this." " You're a jaw person." " Sorry?" " People hide their stress in different places." "You carry yours in your jaw." "Rub either side of your jaw, to release the tension." "Dealing with the symptom can help with the cause." "Seems to me you have two choices." "Either put up with something that's driving you nuts." "Or take a risk and talk to him." "Being honest can set you free." " I'll re-schedule..." " So wait!" "Who are you?" "This is hopeless." "Jormungand is out there in the depths, girding his loins..." "I don't think a serpent has loins." "And we're here watching talentless bimbos" " recite meaningless lines." " Meaningless...?" "We've seen a hundred girls." "Not one of them has had the sniff of a Frigg vibe at all." " Hey!" "Are you the beer guys?" " We're the filmmakers, yes." "So you recognize Joelle then." "Or maybe not now you can't see my fiancée's nipples." "Your fiancée?" "Did you tell her to take her top off?" " No." "She offered." " I asked if you wanted me to" " and you didn't say no." " You didn't give us a chance." "Does she get the role?" " No." "I'm sorry." " Why not?" "Because she didn't have quite what it takes, I'm afraid." "So you two get to stare at her tits and she gets nothing out of it?" "That's show business, man." "Bullshit!" "Bet the beer is shit, too." " Are you OK?" " Ow." "He said he'd talked to you about a re-branding campaign." " Did he have a name?" " No, ne never actually said." "And then he just kind of left." "You alright?" "You don't normally forget meetings." "I didn't!" "He said he arranged it with you!" " You seem a bit stressed." " Maybe." "So?" "Take the day off." "It's not like we're rushed off our feet." "Understatement of the year." "Go do things for you." " I have things to do for me." " Like what?" "None of your business." "Go!" "Go!" "A mental health day." "You're clearly in need of one." " I can't feel my face now." " How's it looking?" "Oh, OK, not good." " I can't see out of it." " Not surprising." "Shit." "What the...?" "Man, he got you a good one, huh?" " Mike...?" " Who else would it be?" "Uh, me." "Given that it's me, looking in the mirror, at me." "But you are looking at a reflection of yourself, Axl." "It's concussion." "The prick hit me so hard my brain" " bounced against my skull." " No, Axl, it's really me." "Which is to say, it's really you." " What are you on about?" " Ullr." "Odin." "One and the same." "No, they're not." "Ullr is Odin by another name." " The true Odin." " I am Odin." "It's my destiny." "Destiny is what happens next." "Destiny is that I will find her before you will," " because I can find anything." " Why are you saying all this?" "You gave it a shot, Axl." "Trying to be Odin." "But everything you do turns to shit, doesn't it?" "So I'm telling you to walk away." "It's time for Ullr to become Odin." "It's better, Axl." " Zeb!" " For you." "For our family." " I really need you in here." " For the world." "What?" "Tell me what you see in the mirror." " I see Zeb and Axl." "Why?" " Mike was there." " In the mirror?" " He was there." "Now he's gone." " I was just talking to him." " When?" " Just now!" " You weren't talking to anyone." "I was standing right outside." "I didn't hear any talking." "That guy hit you pretty hard." "Maybe you need, like, a brain scan." "Thought I'd come in the conventional way this time." " By being asked." " Right, yeah, of course." "Sorry." "Look, Dawn, it's really nice to see you and everything." " But I'm kind of busy." " I'll be fast." " What's wrong with your face?" " What?" "Nothing." "No, just something some guy told me to do when I'm stressed." "Why are you stressed?" "Because... after what I'm about to say you'll probably run the other way every time you see me." "And I wouldn't blame you." "But I've just realized I've got to be honest." " What do you mean honest?" " With myself." "That I have to ask." "That I have to know." "Know what?" "Were we lovers once?" "Not just ordinary lovers." "Real, deep as it gets, till-the-end of time type stuff?" "And, I don't know, maybe something happened?" "Something that made us stop?" "I don't know what but maybe it was so terrible that I blocked everything out, but when it's that big you can't just lock it up, because it's going to echo..." "Oh, God." "Shit." "I'm sorry." "I've made a complete idiot of myself." "I'm sorry." "I'm..." "I'll never disturb you again." "I'm going to go now." "Yes." "Yes, we were." "I loved you with all my heart and I'm pretty sure you felt the same." "If I threw up now it would kind of destroy the moment, right?" "Why did I..." "How did I forget that?" "Because, if I am honest with you, which apparently is the path to freedom..." "Our love disappeared when I stopped being a god." "OK, if this is some kind of joke, if you and Anders are gonna get drunk and laugh..." "It's not a joke." "It's weird." "It's insane." "But it's very, very real." "This is, was... is my life." "Oh, shit." "I am the living incarnation of the Norse god of all things dark and cold." "Hod." "Look me up on Wiki." "Anyway, we fell in love and the unfortunate side-effect of me being Hod was that I tended to almost kill you by freezing you." "My cold thing gets kinda out of control when I get emotional." " The alley." " The what?" " There was snow in the alley." " You saw that?" "You were meant to have gone." "It's when it all came flooding back." "Right." "Of course." "The reason you'd forgotten is that for a while there I stopped being a god." "Which was good." "But when I wasn't a god anymore you forget I existed which was very bad." "And the reason you can remember me now is that I am Hod again." "Feel free to flee anytime you like." "So..." "You're this god who makes stuff cold." "Yes." "You saw the snow." "And that sort of stuff happens when you're emotional?" "It makes it a lot worse, yes." "So why isn't it cold in here?" " Sorry?" " Is this not emotional for you?" "I mean my emotions are all over the place" "I am a mess of emotions right now, all over the show." " And now?" " Now I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders." " Maybe I cured you." " What if you haven't?" "I'll take my chances." "(phone rings)" " Hello?" " We need to talk." "You didn't say everything you needed to say?" " I kinda stopped listening." " We have much to discuss and you want it, you know you do." "Stop with the saucy pick-up lines." "The alternative is I come over there tonight and we discuss it with Mike." "I don't respond well to blackmail, Anders." "My place in 20." " My god." " What?" "What's wrong?" "No." "I mean you." "That's what you are, right?" "My own handsome, kind, gorgeous god." "Yes." "That's me." "So how did it come about anyway?" "This Hod god thing." "I was born." "It's kind of in our DNA." "What, your whole family?" " Anders is a god?" " Yep." "A Norse god of the meaningless root?" "He's Bragi, god of poetry." "(laughs)" " No, seriously." " What?" "Is there a power associated with that?" "Yes, yes, there is." "Look, this whole word of mouth among the sisterhood bullshit?" "You cure someone, they tell ten people, you cure them, they tell ten more people and pretty soon it's fucking Life of Brian and you're the new Messiah and we all know how it ends for the Messiah, right?" " Go on." " I warn you, it requires you to leave your massive ego at the door." "OK." "Imagine if you will a luxury spa." "A retreat, where clients go for the whole package." "In beautiful surroundings they escape from the world." "And some of them get their ailments healed." " Some of them?" " Yeah, the ones you deem worthy and who pay the most exorbitant fees." " And the rest?" " They go home, they've had a nice break from reality." "Half of them will think they've been cured." "The placebo effect?" "You never meet them, plus you don't get to touch them." "Won't they feel cheated not meeting the healer?" "She's gone." "She doesn't exist anymore." "Look, Michele, this way, my way, no one knows it's you that's doing the healing." "You're a masseuse, you're a physical therapist, a consultant, whatever fits the bill and allows you to lay your hands on them and do your healing thing without this big arrow pointing towards you saying," ""She's the one, she's the Messiah, persecute her!"" "The best thing is the clientele that I'm bringing?" " They don't do hugging." " I'll discuss it with Ingrid." " Ditch Ingrid." "She's deadwood." " Here's the thing, Anders, whatever you may think about this whole thing being a big Pilates workout for my ego," "I am not ditching Ingrid." "Goddesses stick together." "But if you can truly deliver, we have something to talk about." " You bet I can." " Prove you can more than talk." "Bring me a man willing to pay $50,000 to the Goddess Healer." "Do that, and you're in the game." "Done!" "Should you be drinking when you have a brain injury?" "I don't have a brain injury." "I definitely saw Mike." " I am sure you did." " It was like a vision where he was totally telling me what was going on in his head." " The snake." " I am such an idiot." "Your beer commercial was not the best idea ever." " Not that." "Mimir." " Say what?" " Mimir's Well!" " Good on Mimir." "I'm particularly unwell." "And in pain." "No, "Mimir's Well." It was a thing." "It would help if you actually read and understood the myths." "OK, as I've said they're weird, they make no sense and then half the time Olaf tells me they're bullshit." "OK." "In Asgard, you, Odin, got water from Mimir's well." " Mimir owned the well." " And?" "And something happened at Mimir's Well that gave Odin great insight into the truths of the world." " You wanna know what it was?" " Thrill me." "His eye." "He pulled out his eye and placed it in the well." "By sacrificing his eye, he was able to see things as they really are." "You're saying, because I damaged my eye..." "You now see the truth!" "That Mike is plotting against you!" "No, that's bullshit." "No way can he ever be Odin." "It's totally plausible, is all I'm saying." "No way." "All the signs said that I was Odin." "And, in your family, the signs have never been wrong?" "OK, you're starting to bum me out now, man." "No way would Mike ever try and shaft me out of being Odin." "A brother does not plot against his own brother, Zeb." "You've never heard of Cain and Abel?" "This isn't flying a kite, man." "Mike wants your throne." "He wants to replace you as Allfather." "(text message)" "Mike." "He wants me to come to his place." "Now." "Did Ty say what this urgent family meeting is about?" " No, he did not." " Is it going to take long?" "What's this family meeting about?" "Did Axl's fake beer ad" " backfire as predicted?" " What?" "Yeah, I'm not surprised he didn't tell you about that." "Cattle-call for potential Friggs." "Kinda putting your head above the parapet, eh?" "Wouldn't want that happening." " AXL:" "Guys..." " OLAF:" "Look at the shiner." " Long story." " MIKE:" "Mm-hmm." "And would this story involve a very public campaign to find the goddess Frigg through some bogus beer ad?" " What if it does?" " Awesome." "Tremendous thinking." " Did it work?" " Does it look like it worked?" "Is she here with me now?" "Why is it your concern anyway?" "I am trying to keep this family out of the spotlight." "Head down, you know, living in the real world." "And you pull a stunt like this?" "Who says we have to do what you say?" "Sorry?" " Hey, everyone." "Um..." " Hey, Dawn." "Don't you ever pull that Bragi shit with me again!" "Sorry." "Got a bit ahead of the announcement, didn't I?" "TY:" "Teensy bit." " She knows...?" " Mm-hmm." " You told her?" " And you have no idea how good it feels." "You have no idea." "It's alright, Mike." "I got this." "Dawn, listen to me." "While I think it's great that you're in love with Ty you need to forget about all ..." "Are you trying to do your thing on me?" "Is that what he does when he does his thing?" "I thought he was just mumbling." "We will talk about this at the office." "Anders is gonna get his beans." "And it's a power, not a "thing."" "What is wrong with you people?" "Can you not understand that our very survival depends on us not doing the shit that you did today?" "We don't fucking advertise our presence to the world!" "We don't bring mortals in whenever we feel like it!" "Because pretty soon..." "Pretty soon we will be the freaks that everyone knows about and we will be hunted out of existence!" "Am I the only one who gets this?" "!" "Am I?" "Mike, Ty and Dawn are in love." "We should be happy for them." "And great for them." "But they need to know," "Ty needs to be reminded, that when you bring a mortal into our midst it is part of a much bigger picture." "Thanks, Mike." "Thanks for taking the happiest day of my life and pissing all over it." "Welcome to my world." "Who are you to say what we should or shouldn't do, Mike?" "Ah, well, I'm the one who got you this far." "Without a lot of help, I might add." " AXL:" "Where are we, exactly?" " Sorry?" "Where do you want us to be, Mike?" "In your world." "Well, not chasing some idiotic idea we're responsible for global warming." "That would be good for starters." "Message received." "Loud and clear." "Great work, Mike." "Way to forge family unity." "No wonder everyone's behind you every step of the way." "I can tell from this you've set up camp on the high moral ground." "Good luck with that, Mikkel." "I'll be at the driving range if you need me." "Well, I'll be upstairs when you're ready." " What?" " No way are you me." "And you never will be."