"NARRATOR"." "Another serene day in Gotham City." "But on the terrace of a penthouse suite atop the sky-high Gotham Arms storm clouds gather." "Puzzler, what if Artie Knabi finds us in his penthouse?" "It's Artemus Knab, Rocket." "He isn't due back till later today and I have a passkey." "I don't think he'd mind." "You see, as Shakespeare would say:" ""We are birds of the selfsame feather."" "All right, Glider, Blimpy, is the model plane ready to soar?" " Just like you said, Puzzler." " Ha, ha!" "Yes, this should startle the pillars of the law." "The caterpillars of the commonwealth which I have sworn to weed and pluck away." "A quotation from the bard, Rocket." " Phoo." "Wow." "King Richard II." "And I would particularly like to see it sail through that window down there." "I realize your prison facilities are becoming overcrowded, Warden Crichton." "Doubtless that could be attributed to the efficiency of this department." "Yeah." "Me thinks I'll launch this myself." "That?" "Well, for your information, Warden Crichton, that was an explosion." "Yes, right here in this office." "Commissioner, are you all right?" " What happened?" "I don't know." "Model plane just sailed through the window and dropped a bomb." "Oh, a child's prank, no doubt." "Some child." "A window this high up?" "What's that?" "A message attached?" "Oh." "Uh..." ""Forsooth, the puzzles are coming"?" ""I know a bank where the wild time blows, inside out the puzzle goes."" "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Chief O'Hara?" " Aren't I always, commissioner?" "Well, then." "Sure, and who else could it be but the Puzzler himself come to confound and confuse us?" "I know we've been working the Caped Crusader overtime lately." "But I feel I'd be shirking my duty to the populous of Gotham City if I didn't call on his help in this dire crisis." "Why, Dick, it worked." "Wren heard you." "Yes, Dick, your birdcalls are close to perfect." "If more people practice them someday we might have a chance for real communication with our feathered friends." "In that case, I think I'll polish up my ruby-crowned kinglet and my rose-breasted yellow-tailed grosbeak calls." "The Batphone, sir." "Why don't you continue practicing those calls out at White's Pond, Dick?" "Heh." "White's Pond, Dick." "I could get some fishing in at the same time." "Let's go." " Those two, always on the move." "Youth, madam, youth." "Yes, commissioner." "Right away." "To the Batpoles." "There is no doubt about it, gentlemen." "Puzzler's maleficent methods are legendary." "Plus the fact that they're usually connected with an aviatic caper." "Along with his Shakespearean touches." "Holy Hamlet." "In this particular instance it's the backward puzzle that intrigues me." " Backward, Batman?" "Yes, "I know a bank where the wild time blows, inside out the puzzle goes."" "Maybe he's asking a question." "Like, "What will I rob next?"" "Perhaps." "But we all know the Puzzler uses reverse logic from" "Reverse." "Why, that's it." ""Inside out."" "Robin, take the word bank and spell it backwards." "K-N-A-B." "Knab." " Add A for Artemus." "Holy deposit slip." "Artemus Knab." "One of the richest men in the world." " And he's right here in Gotham City now." "Correct, Robin." "And some of Artemus Knab's millions come from his aviation monopoly." "Along with his many other monopolies." "Gentlemen, I strongly suspect that Puzzler's prime and present target is Artemus Knab." "You've done it again, Batman." "Chief O'Hara, take some men over to Artemus Knab's penthouse suite at the Gotham Arms immediately." "A moment, commissioner." "May we handle this?" "I welcome the opportunity to cross swords, as it were, with Puzzler." "And we won't attract as much attention as a police squad moving in." "By all means, Batman, if that's the way you want it." "We haven't a moment to lose, Robin." "Whoever they are beneath those masks" "You've said that before, commissioner." "And I'll say it to my dying day, Chief O'Hara." "Gotham City owes the Dynamic Duo a debt which can never be repaid." "Well, if this Artemus Knab is as rich as they say, maybe he can help a little." "That's what I said, sell." "I don't care what happens to the market." "I'll give you 5200 for Park Place and not a penny more." " Six thousand." "Fifty-eight now, two when I pass Go." "Move." "Yes." "Did you get a quote on Pan Uranium?" "Good, buy all you can get." "I don't know how, just buy it." "And I'll give you 5000 for Boardwalk." "Yes." "What do you mean, you can't find a 200-foot diesel yacht?" "I don't know how, just find it." "This castle hath a pleasant seat." "Yes." "So the movie is 5 million over budget." "Who cares?" "It's my 5 million." "Keep shooting." "Hold my calls." "Now, what's all this about castles and seats?" "Macbeth, Act 1." "But you do have a splendid penthouse, Artemus." "I can see you enjoy the pleasures of life." "Mm-hm." "Ha-ha-ha." "One hotel is the same as another to me." "I couldn't have put it better myself." "Oh, good." "Good." "I like a partner who agrees with me." "Yes, that always makes for a better partnership." "Now, by two-headed Janus nature hath framed strange fellows in her time." "Art thou not verily the Caped Crusaders?" "You mean Batman and Robin?" "I'm sorry we came in unannounced, Mr. Knab via Batropes up the side of the building." "I'll explain presently." " Yes, Puzzler, I am Batman." "And I'm Robin." "We suspected you'd be in town." "And we also had reason to believe he'd be in this penthouse suite with you, Mr. Knab." "Is that your explanation for interrupting it?" "We thought you might be in trouble." "I'm Artemus Knab." "I'm never in trouble." "Never." "And he's Puzzler, who knows every weasel word in the book." "Weasel words, as you put it, are no concern to me." "Puzzler has come up with a novel idea out of which I expect to make millions." "More millions." "And if that's trouble, Batman, I'd like a lot more of it." "You mean more honest millions?" "Young man, there's no easier buck to be made in this world than an honest buck." "Oh, how true." "I'm sorry, Mr. Knab." "Robin is sometimes inclined to be a bit impetuous." "Impetuous and curious about that backward puzzle of yours." "Yes, Puzzler, just what is your novel idea for increasing Mr. Knab's coffers?" "My usual novel method, Batman." "These are highly competitive days." "Anyone with a product to sell must look for a new and unique approach to publicity and advertising." " Publicity?" "Advertising?" "Yes, for this new venture." "I'm backing Puzzler in the manufacture of puzzle balloons." " Something seldom done before." "Never done before." "Mm. it should make an interesting addition to my airplane monopoly." "Not to mention my movie-studio monopoly." "My stock-market monopoly, my ship-building monopoly my various other lesser monopolies." "Care to see a sample of our wares?" "Here, Boy Wonder." "You're obviously not too old to play with balloons." "Maybe not." "But I'm old enough to recognize a bunco artist when I see one." "Really, Artemus?" "How much more am I expected to take from this caped nincompoop?" "Nothing more." "But allow me one last warning, Mr. Knab." "Your new business partner is not called Puzzler for nothing." "Forgive the intrusion." "Let's go, Robin." "Uh, use the front door." "It's faster that way." "I just hate to see a reasonably successful multibillionaire like Artemus Knab taken for a ride by that shady, pseudo-Shakespearean swindler." "I suspect even Puzzler's met his match in Artemus Knab." "But let's see what problem this sample balloon poses, shall we?" ""If you knew a hawk from a handsaw would you know a parrot from a plane?"" "Maybe he was telling the truth." "Sample balloon, a silly puzzle." "I'm not sure." ""A hawk from a handsaw" is in a line from Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2." ""I know a hawk from a handsaw," if I remember properly." "But a parrot from a plane, airplane..." "Of course." "Puzzler said the balloon might entertain us." "And an airplane and entertainment mean only one thing." "Holy flight plan." "Artemus Knab's coming-out party for his new fantastic plane, the Retsoor." "Yes, with some of the créme de la créme of Gotham City society attending." "And that among other things spells expensive jewelry." "Puzzles, airplanes, jewelry." " Let's get to the airport." "Right, Robin." "NARRATOR"." "A short time later, in an airplane hangar at Gotham City Airport..." "Ahem." "Your attention, please." "Ahem." "Ladies and gentlemen friends, folks I hereby christen the Retsoor code name for this experimental model of my X-1000 counter insurgency reconnaissance jet plane." "NARRATOR"." "At the same time, outside the hangar, a strange delivery." "Well, have a good time." "And remember, your donations are going to a very worthy cause." "Research for my aviation monopoly." "Well..." "Zounds, that was a close call." "I thought Artemus Knab would have left." " Artemus Knab?" "In that beat-up old jalopy?" "He's a trifle eccentric." "Hey, why didn't you introduce me?" "He'll never make me a movie star if he never meets me." "Harp not on that string, Rocket." "Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens." "Fat and greasy?" "A favorite line of mine from As You Like it, Blimpy." "Translated, it means, "Get going."" "This caper calls for split-second timing." "I don't get it." "If you plan to steal the airplane, why waste time with the jewelry?" "A little extra pocket money never came amiss, Blimpy." "My mission is to photograph Retsoor's controls, yours is to line our pockets." "Let the masquerade commence." "On with the play." "Get your puzzle balloons here." "Don't forget it." "Folks, the kiddies'll love them." "Here you are, folks." "Take all you want." " Sticks." " Ready." "Pow." "Pow." "That invisible puzzle balloon gas is doing yeoman service." "Bewildering our prey is far better than knocking them out." "Wow, I just wanna touch all those jewels." "Frailty, thy name is woman." "We must not hesitate." "Our uninvited guests will be here presently." "Ah..." "Wow, wow." "Wow, wow, wow." "Sweets to the sweet." "Farewell." "Rocket, depart by yonder portal." " We'll see you at the factory." " Gee, thanks." "All the world's a stage." "Now we wait." "Just what I wanted, to catch you in the act, Puzzler." "My timing is perfect." "Lord, what fools these mortals be." "Puzzle balloons for the Dynamic Duo, boys." "There's something in the air, Robin." "The game's afoot, curtain going up." "Aye, and the Caped Crusaders muddled and mazed like all the others." "Do we liquidate them now, boss'?" "No, Glider, I have a far more delicious idea for their demise." "And now to snap a few pictures of the plane's cockpit and then for some more puzzles." "On with the show." ""What letter is ne'er perceived in the alphabet?"" "The letter you put in the mailbox." "But what could that mean?" "Maybe the answer is on this piece of paper which was in that balloon." "Gosh, Batman, it might be." "And also might be the reason Puzzler or one of his heinous henchmen pinned that balloon on me while I was momentarily incapacitated." ""Yay, verily, the answer is a fence in this world's globe."" "Uh-huh." "Of course, a fence is someone who buys stolen jewelry." "Mm." "Mm." "I don't think Puzzler would make it that easy for us, old chum." "The hammer spring of a gun lock is also called a fence." "And they say a horse fence as well when he leaps a fence." "Maybe that's it, Batman." "Just a plain fence." "Maybe Puzzler wants to make it easy for us." "Hm." "If we follow that line of reasoning, what constitutes a fence?" " Boards, palings, rail, wire, posts." "Mm." "Mm." "Mm." "Mm." "Mm." "Post, like the letter you put in a mailbox." "It's a double clue." "Yeah, but the answer is a fence." "An enclosure, something separating one yard from another." " Barnyard, graveyard, shipyard, railroad yard." "Mm." "Mm." "Mm." "Mm!" "Railroad yard." "We may be on to it, Robin." "The main post office is located directly adjacent to the railroad yard." "And somewhere in that facility, Puzzler plans to sell his stolen jewelry." "I've got it." "The Old Globe Balloon Factory is also adjacent to the railroad yard." "I should have seen that from the start." "One moment, please." " Now, may I help you?" "I'd like to see Puzzler, please." " Your names, please?" "Batman." "And Robin." " If you're salesmen" "We're not." "Well, I'm sorry, the Puzzler told me he's not seeing anyone today." "At the risk of sounding conceited, young lady, we are not just anyone." "Let's go, Robin." "Just as you thought, Puzzler." "They're on their way in right now." "Man the barricades." "All right, Puzzler, your insidious little game is, as they say, up." "Not quite, Batman." "I know a trick worth two of that." "Attack." "I'd say this calls for drastic action." "Ow, ow, ow." "Hey." "Batman, help." " What are you gonna do with those?" "The point envenomed too." " Ouch!" "Batman." "Pow." "Boy, that's really giving them the needle." "The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Rocket." "There's something in the wind, Caped Crusaders." "Holy Graf Zeppelin, an aerial balloon." "And here's another little surprise for you." "You see this altimeter?" "When you reach 20,000 feet an automatic mechanism will release the basket from the balloon and you both will re-affirm Newton's law of universal gravitation back down 20,000 feet." "Bet even Shakespeare didn't have words for such villainy." "Glider, Blimpy." " Hey, you guys want some gum?" "Really, Ramjet?" "That's what they give you in airlines before you take off." "No, thank you." "Litter bug." "Now, for the launching, give me the dagger." "This is the unkindest cut of all." "Farewell, Dynamic Duo." "Bon voyage, happy landings." "Adieu, adieu, remember me."