"Previously on Rescue Me..." "I would like the chaise" "Lounge." "What?" "The chaise lounge." "It's the" "Chair that matches the couch." "Hey!" "Tommy!" "What--God, does this" "Make you feel more like a man," "Huh?" "If visiting Jeannie has made" "You have doubts about us" "It's not that." "I gotta go and" "See her brother." "Your sister Jeannie, she's sick." "If she's sick, she's sick." "Nothing I can do for her." "I need your help." "Get out of my showroom." "You know, you seem like" "You've been a dad forever." "I couldn't handle it." "I put" "Her up for adoption, and she got" "Placed with this, uh--This" "Family, these pigs, you know." "All they cared about was their" "Monthly check from the state." "And so, I stole her back." "What do you mean you" "Stole her?" "Yeah." "Well, you know," "People like that are never gonna" "Call the cops." "Let me get this straight." "You don't want your freedom?" "No, and I want it to stay" "That way." "You know I'm gettin'" "Marriage proposals?" "My wife, whom I love dearly," "Left me for another man." "She broke my heart, and then she" "Took nearly everything that I" "Owned, all right?" "And then I met" "Another woman, and at the end," "She took every penny that I had" "On earth." "Everything?" "Every cent I had." "Wow." "Just wondering if I could" "Maybe just crash here for" "A little while, you know." "Mi casa es su casa." "You know, we live together" "And everything, but it's not" "Like we sleep together or kiss" "Or any of that shit." "Yeah, it's just blow jobs." "So you think you'll ever wanna" "Try it?" "Try what?" "Going down on me." "Uh, no, dude." "Never." "You gonna fill in for your" "Nephew, you better raise your" "Game." "This is tyranny." "Ohh!" "Ahh." "Ohh!" "Ho." "I thought I was supposed to" "Tend bar." "Yeah, that was the plan, but," "Uh, we gonna wait for some" "Shifts to open up first." "Listen, Tommy, including" "Garrity, I got 4 guys in line" "Right now." "No, 5." "You know, if she were dating 4 other guys, I'd think I'd know" "About it, OK?" "Do yourself a favor." "Walk away from the relationship." "You know what, Tom?" "This is" "You just being you, you know," "Overprotective and not thinking" "I'm good enough for your sister." "That is not the issue," "Believe me." "She's my girlfriend." "Yeah, one other thing," "Asshole." "What?" "Don't tell her I mentioned" "This stuff to you, all right?" "Please?" "Hey, should we move the, uh," "Chaise lounge down to the truck" "Now, Tommy?" "That's the chaise lounge?" "I" "I thought that was the chaise" "Lounge." "No, that's the se-Tay." "Settee." "Uh, it's a bench, but French." "A French bench." "Yeah." "My mom has one." "Should we move it?" "No." "Small stuff first," "Asshole." "This kid's" "Unbelievable." "We're out of suds." "Oh." "I thought you were, uh," "Trying to pull back." "What, it's my day off," "I can't have a few beers?" "12's a few in your book," "I guess." "Actually it was more like 15." "Listen, Tom, this whole" "Transition thing, I mean, giving" "All this stuff up to Janet, you" "Know, I mean, the finality of it" "All, I know it's--It's gonna be" "Kind of tough on you." "Are you kidding?" "I can't wait" "To get rid of this frilly shit." "I feel like I've been taking it" "Up the ass for, like, a month" "Now." "All I'm saying is I went" "Through the same thing with... with ph... phyllis." "Say it." "Yeah." "Her." "You know, and" "You know, look, there's" "A shoulder here if you need it." "That's all I'm saying." "Yeah." "You're the crybaby," "Not me." "I'm here for you, asshole." "That's all I'm saying." "I know you're here, pal." "I don't know if it's necessarily" "For me, but--You sure you wanna" "Do that?" "What are you, my sponsor now?" "See the name on the bottle?" "Ooh." "Beer run." "See ya." "Bye." "Come on, probie." "Let's go." "Get that shit off the coffee" "Table, too, all right?" "OK." "Hurry up!" "All right." "Hey." "Am I late?" "Get up." "This ain't the" "Firehouse, OK?" "You can't sleep" "On this job." "Sorry." "Maggie kept me up" "All night." "Oh, yeah?" "I don't wanna hear" "About it, OK?" "My old man's been" "Downstairs watching the truck" "For, like, an hour." "Let's go." "Pussy." "What, being tired makes me" "A pussy?" "No, not talking to my sister" "About her 5 other boyfriends," "That makes you a pussy." "Wait a second. 5?" "I thought" "You said it was 3." "OK, I think it's 4." "I think" "It's 4." "But either way." "Anyways." "You know what?" "How do you" "Know I haven't already talked" "To her?" "Because if you told her what" "I told you to tell her, she'd be" "Over here right now with" "A baseball bat." "Why do you want me to talk to" "Her so badly, huh?" "Because I want you to be" "A man, OK, instead of a little" "Pussy, which is what you are." "No, you're just trying to" "Mess with my head so that I hang" "Myself like fred." "High school fred?" "Suicide fred, the guy that" "You got so jealous." "He was" "Dating Maggie behind your back," "And you messed with him until he" "Hung himself." "OK." "Sit down." "We gonna talk." "You're not gonna hit me," "Are you?" "Only if it helps." "Sit down." "Christ almighty." "Mmm." "Would you like more tea?" "Yes, I would." "Thank you very" "Much." "What are we drinking this" "Time?" "Peppermint." "Peppermint." "I love" "Peppermint." "Oh, but that's" "A little hot." "May I have some" "Cream, please?" "There you go." "Thank you." "Are you going away soon?" "No, sweetie." "Why do you" "Say that?" "Mommy and auntie laura" "Went away." "Come here." "Listen." "Are you good at keeping" "A secret?" "Yeah?" "I had a little" "Girl once, and she went away" "Just like your mommy did." "Up to heaven?" "Yeah, and, um, when that" "Happened, I was very, very sad," "And I know how much that hurts," "And so I would never want you to" "Feel that way again." "So you won't go away?" "Well, not unless you want" "Me to." "I want us to be together" "Forever." "Well, I'll see what I can do" "About that." "OK?" "Watch the wall." "Watch the" "Door." "OK?" "Especially the" "Hallway, you know?" "Come on, probie." "Careful." "Stuck." "Watch it." "Sorry." "Idiots." "This is my last run, bro." "I gotta take off." "Ah, your little sugar mama" "Takin' you out on the town?" "Nah." "She's watching the kid" "For me while I hit the books." "OK." "Bye." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Bye." "See ya." "Thanks, man." "Yeah." "Hey." "Yoo-Hoo." "You know pops" "Is out there drinking beers in" "The truck with this smoking turd" "In his mouth?" "OK, that's probably Lou's." "Yeah." "How long's that gonna" "Go on, by the way?" "Lou's just crashing here." "You don't have to worry about" "Him, OK?" "Ohh!" "This place reeks of" "Beer farts, and cigar smoke." "Oh, well." "My God." "It's really empty." "You OK with this?" "Yeah." "I'm fine." "Oh." "Oh!" "You will never guess" "Who I ran into today." "Satan." "No." "Angela." "Johnny's ex?" "Yes!" "I was shopping uptown," "And I wanted to go to the hair" "Salon, um, this really great one" "On the corner of 78th and lex," "And who do I bump into but" "Angie." "And, um, we went to" "Lunch." "We went to this fabulous" "Japanese place in--What are you" "Doing?" "I'm making a cheese sandwich." "Oh." "Anyway, so she totally" "Picked up the tab, and she was" "Telling me all about her girls" "And her unbelievable career," "And she looks amazing, and we" "Had such a good time, and she" "Said she was gonna call me." "Heh heh heh." "Do you think she's" "Gonna call me?" "Uhh." "Don't see why she" "Wouldn't." "Hey, look, I'm sorry I'm" "Late." "I got caught up." "No worries, dude." "Bring up" "Some ice for me, would you?" "Yeah." "What do you got there," "Basketball pool?" "Every year, the pot gets" "Bigger." "I'm not sure why people" "Keep picking gonzaga." "Well, they got a pretty good" "Club this year." "Yeah, but it sounds like" "A freakin' clown college." "Would" "You pay 80 grand to send your" "Kid to a school named gonzaga?" "At the rate I'm goin'," "I can't even afford bus fare." "But you got your tips, right?" "Yeah, all 80 bucks of it." "I thought you said I was gonna" "Be bartending." "Be patient, jer." "The checks" "Are being processed." "You'll be" "Pourin' before you know it." "Look, here's an advance." "100 bucks should tide you over." "Great." "What's the take on" "This pot anyway?" "Close to 6 grand." "Oof." "It's 20 bucks a bracket." "You want in?" "Nah, I--I think I'll pass." "Aw, come on, jer." "You gotta" "Be in it to win it." "Don't be" "A pussy." "All right, give me 5 sheets." "Attaboy." "Who you like?" "Who else?" "Gonzaga." "Hey." "You OK?" "Found his mitt." "It's OK." "It's OK." "What are you doing?" "What?" "What--What are you kissin'" "Me for?" "Uh, I thought that's what" "You wanted." "I--Why--Why would you" "Think that?" "I don't know, Tommy." "You're being all gay and crying." "I thought I'd take a shot." "I wasn't crying, OK?" "What do you expect from me?" "Right?" "You ask me to come over" "Here every day, a-And you throw" "Me all these glances." "What?" "Like I'm throwing you" "Glances." "What are you talking" "About?" "Yes." "You're throwin' me" "Glances all the time." "Like what?" "Like just glances over here" "And funny glances and sneaky" "Glances." "It's--That's called" "Communicating with somebody." "That's how you--You make eye" "Contact with them." "It's" "Especially somebody who lives up" "Your ass." "Oh." "I'm living up your ass?" "Yeah." "You're up my ass." "I come over here every day," "And I deliver medicine, and I" "Cook, and I do laundry... this speech." "And I clean up shit and piss." "I'm really tired of this" "Goddamn speech." "I got news for you." "I couldn't possibly live up your" "Ass, because you've already" "Taken up residence there." "Same time tomorrow?" "Bite me." "* on another day," "Come on, come on," "With these ropes I tied," "Can we do no wrong?" "Now we grieve" "'Cause now is gone," "Things were good" "When we were young," "With my teeth locked down," "I can see the blood" "Of a thousand men" "Who have come and gone," "Now we grieve" "'Cause now is gone," "Things were good" "When we were young," "Is it safe to say?" "Come on, come on," "Was it right to leave?" "Come on, come on," "Will I ever learn?" "Come on, come on," "Come on, come on," "Come on, come on *" "Oh, baby." "I like this one." "No way, homey." "Bitch be" "Codependent." "How can you tell?" "See that wrinkle in her" "Forehead?" "Might as well have it" "Tagged across her chest." "Had a bitch like that once." "Killed her." "OK, then." "Well, how 'bout" "This one?" "I like one with" "A big backyard." "Nah." "No way, yo." "See that jaw" "Line?" "Bitch got control issues." "Had a bitch like that once." "Let me guess." "You killed her." "Killed her dog." "She had the" "Nerve to lock me out the house." "Ohh." "Yeah, daddy." "Ha ha ha!" "Nah." "That one's a guy." "How can you tell?" "Don't ask." "Well--Well, look." "This isn't" "American idol." "I just gotta" "Pick one of these broads so" "I can start havin' conjugal" "Visits." "I don't bust a nut soon," "I'm gonna explode." "I can help you with that if" "You want." "N-No, listen." "You're a great" "Guy, and I--I like talkin' to" "You." "You keep a nice cell," "But I'm strictly a real, live" "Female pussy type of guy, huh?" "N-No offense." "OK." "You know, if you just" "Took me from" "Ahh yah!" "Geh geh geh!" "Eh... let's just look at some more" "Pictures." "A dog?" "Yeah." "He told you fred killed" "Himself over some stupid dog?" "That is such bullshit." "He killed" "Himself over me." "Yeah, but you said that" "Tommy" "No, no." "I'm the one he was in" "Love with, not some stupid dog." "So wait a second." "He didn't" "Force him to kill himself." "You" "Just--You made all that shit up?" "No, I'm not saying I did," "And I'm not saying I didn't." "You know what?" "Maggie," "Why don't you just tell me the" "Truth?" "You know, if you were" "Honest with me, I wouldn't be" "Mad at you." "You know what?" "I didn't want" "You to think I was crazy." "Oh." "Well, what would have" "Given me that idea?" "And what's" "With these other--These other 4 guys, pancho and" "First of all, his name is" "Nacho." "Nacho?" "And Larry." "And bill." "And otis." "OK." "Maggie, I just--I'm not" "Gonna play fifth fiddle to" "Anyone, OK?" "You told me that if I told" "You the truth, you wouldn't get" "Mad at me." "Well, I lied." "How's it feel?" "Can I have my shirt, please?" "Nacho, OK?" "Holy" "Hello." "Alicia, keela, I'm home." "Hello." "Guys?" "Baby, I" "Miss lofton, are you there?" "Miss lofton, it's Franco." "Could you open up, please?" "Franco, it's--It's late." "Yeah." "I know, miss lofton." "I'm sorry." "Is keela here by any" "Chance?" "Of course not." "Alicia came" "And picked her up around 4:00," "Just like you said." "They should" "Be upstairs." "All right, thanks." "Is everything all right?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Sir!" "Out of my way." "She's here." "I know it." "Ms. Green has gone to" "Her country home for the week." "Yeah?" "Where is it?" "Tell me." "I'm not at liberty to say." "Goddamn it, tell me where" "She is." "I assure you she will get" "Your message, OK?" "Now please" "Leave the premises, or I'll call" "The police." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah?" "Hey, Chief." "What do you want, probie?" "Can I get another, uh," "Cd-30 form?" "What happened to the first" "One I gave you?" "I kind of lost it." "Yeah." "That tends to happen" "Quite a bit." "Can--Can we keep this between" "Us like before?" "I got no reason to share it." "Frankly, I don't think anybody'd" "Give a shit." "Surprised it took" "You this long." "The way they rag" "On you, some of the worst shit" "I've ever seen." "Bunch of" "Assholes." "Well, you know, they are my" "Friends." "Heh." "You know, I've never had" "Any friends on this job." "They're" "Your friends till somebody" "Drinks too much beer and then" "Smashes your face in with" "An aluminum chair." "With friends" "Like that, who needs friends?" "Now get outta here." "I got work" "To do." "Hey." "Hey, "t."" "Hey, where you been, man?" "The" "Chief's been lookin' for you." "Man, I got a huge goddamn" "Problem, Tommy." "What?" "The chick I been seeing," "Man... yeah." "She took my little girl, man." "She took keela." "Aw, man." "You didn't tell her" "About the foster family?" "Yeah, I did, all right?" "Aw, shit, Franco." "It slipped out in" "Conversation." "How the hell was" "I supposed to know she'd use it" "Against me, huh?" "Goddamn it." "Wow." "Um, I don't" "Know what to tell you." "I mean," "I--I could call my cousin eddie" "And see if he could come up with" "Something." "Yeah, yeah." "That would be" "Helpful." "I mean, dude, I been" "Lookin' everywhere, OK?" "I went" "To alicia's apartment." "I been to" "Keela's school." "OK." "Calm down." "All right?" "It's my little" "Girl." "I gotta get her back." "Relax." "Relax, all right?" "I need help, Tommy." "OK, I'll talk to eddie." "We'll see what we can get done." "All right." "All right." "Uh, tell the Chief that I'm," "Uh... yeah, yeah, yeah." "Yeah." "Shit." "Hello." "Ooh, you are not gonna" "Believe this." "What?" "That teacher, Mrs. Turbody," "Damian's teacher, she raped him," "Him and 3 other boys." "It's been" "All over the news." "You're kidding me." "No." "I'd have to be a total" "Psycho to kid you about" "Something like that." "Hi." "I think she raped Damian." "OK, did Damian say that he" "Was raped by her?" "No, he doesn't have to." "I know how he feels about her." "He spends all that time in" "Detention." "Yeah, OK, but that's a hell" "Of a leap of faith to go from" "Him being in detention with" "A teacher he likes to him" "Getting raped by her." "I mean," "Come on." "I'll talk to him." "I'm sure it's, you know" "Doreen selig says that she" "Gave them all chlamydia." "Gave who all?" "D.J. Apaluso, rodney's" "Cousin, she said that rodney and" "The 2 other boys, they all have" "Chlamydia." "Did Damian say anything" "About" "No." "Why would he say" "Something?" "You're the one that" "Just said that he wouldn't be" "Involved, so why would he" "You're answering your own" "Question." "I'll talk to him." "I'm sure he doesn't even know" "What chlamydia is, all right?" "Thanks for droppin' by." "Hey, Chief, you see that" "Ballgame last night?" "Man," "I thought gonzaga had it" "Locked up." "Yeah, you're not the" "Only one." "You see the kid that lost?" "He started crying like a baby." "Yeah, he's not the only one." "Authorities say the Thompson" "High teacher had improper" "Relations with 3 17-Year-Olds," "Students who came forward to" "Report the abuse just yesterday." "We'll have an upte at 6:00." "Wh-Wh-What'd they say?" "Some teacher raped 3 of" "Her students." "Oh." "They say anything about," "Um, chlamydia?" "Oh, you mean the band?" "Ha ha." "It's not a band," "You asshole." "It's a country." "It's a venereal disease," "Monkeys." "Yeah." "What is it, uh" "What does it do to you?" "You know, what all sexually" "Transmitted diseases do." "It makes you piss fire." "Did they say that those kids," "They--They, uh--They had it" "From--From her?" "There was no mention of" "Chlamydia." "I'm just asking." "I'm sorry to disappoint you." "So wait a second." "She rape" "She raped these kids?" "She didn't rape anybody." "You can't even call that rape." "I mean, if she looked like" "Don knotts in drag, that'd be" "One thing, but she was gorgeous." "She's handing' out rapes," "Pick me, teacher." "Pick me." "Under 18 is statutory" "Rape." "That's the law." "It's a stupid law." "I mean," "The other way around, sure," "But there's no way a woman that" "Good-Looking is raping a 17-Year-Old boy unless she bends" "Him over a table and shoves" "A swingline stapler up his ass." "I mean, in my humble opinion," "She's providing an invaluable" "Service to today's young people." "We should be so lucky." "What do you think, Tom?" "Huh?" "What do you think?" "I gotta take a piss." "Ahem." "Ohh, man." "Ahem." "Hey." "Hi." "How you doing?" "Uh, fine, I guess." "Everything good healthwise" "And... what are you talking about?" "I'm making conversation." "Yeah, well, it's odd" "Conversation considering what" "Just happened." "What do you want" "Me to say?" "I--I don't know." "I thought for a minute you were" "Gonna drive right over us." "Yeah." "Well, you know what?" "He's lucky you and the girls" "Were with him, 'cause that's" "Exactly what I had in mind," "Son of a bitch." "So I guess--Look," "I don't know." "I don't know." "I gotta go." "Yeah." "OK." "Bye." "Christ." "Ay yi yi." "It's ironic, ain't it?" "Uh, ironic?" "Yeah." "You know what I'm" "Talkin' about." "Admit it, Tom." "You jump in the Sack with my old" "Lady, and now look at you." "Here you are, your own brother" "Puttin' it to your wife." "It's ironic." "It's the definition" "Of the word." "I don't think so." "Oh, you don't think" "Wh-What is it then, smartass?" "Enlighten me." "It's a little thing" "Called karma." "Actually, you know what?" "You're right." "It is karma." "Mm-Hmm." "It is." "Yeah." "I stand" "Corrected." "And the thing about karma is" "Just keeps going around and" "Around and around." "Tommy, is that--Aw, Jesus." "Did--Come on." "Johnny's ex." "It's b--You sick little bitch." "Oh, man." "I--You know, and I" "Thought you couldn't go any" "Lower." "I swear you're--You're at" "The earth's core with this," "Practically." "Yep." "Next stop China." "Where you going?" "No, wait a minute." "Tommy." "I'll see you later." "OK." "Hey." "Tommy." "Hey." "Hey, ange." "What's up?" "Oh, my God, this is so" "Bizarre." "What are you doing" "Here?" "Uh, a friend of mine's over" "At lenox hill hospital, and I" "Just--I happened to park on this" "Block, and" "Oh, I live just over there." "Really?" "Yeah, just takin' pumpkin" "Here for a walk." "Hey." "What a cutie." "Yeah." "Yeah." "The girls love her." "Guess I would, too, if I didn't" "Have to follow her around with" "A shit mitt." "How are the girls?" "Ah, they're good." "Yeah?" "They grow up fast." "Yeah." "How are yours?" "Well, they're good," "Considering, you know." "So funny runnin' into you." "Just saw Sheila the other day" "Right around the corner," "Actually." "Really?" "Oh." "Yeah." "Yeah." "What are the odds of that?" "Heh heh." "Lightning strikes twice." "So do you--You wanna grab a" "A cup of coffee or drink and" "Catch up?" "Yeah." "Sure, sure." "We could go" "To, um, lexington bar and books." "Lexington and 73rd." "Let me just" "Drop pumpkin off with the" "Doorman." "Do you--You want me to just" "Meet you over there?" "OK." "All right." "10 minutes." "OK, great." "Yeah." "Yeah." "All right." "Say, "good-Bye, Tommy."" "Bye, pumpkin." "See ya." "Could I help you, sir?" "Oh, uh, nah, I'm cool." "I'm just--I'm lookin' for" "A little kid." "Uh, this ain't a flea market," "Pal." "Actually it's my daughter." "She's gone missing." "Uh, well, I could take you" "Down to the station." "You could" "Fill out a report." "You know, uh, actually" "That's, uh--That's all right." "You know, I think my" "Girlfriend's probably got her." "Yeah, yeah." "I'm sure" "She does." "Look, officer, it's not like" "I'm here shopping for, you know," "A playmate" "Take a walk, freak show." "Yeah." "All right." "Sorry." "Goddamn sickos." "So Sheil told me about you" "And Janet." "And you and her." "Yeah." "And Johnny and Janet." "Mm-Hmm." "Throw in a brain tumor, throw in" "An evil twin, it's an episode of" "Young and the restless." "No kiddin'." "You know, I was thinkin' the" "Other day about me and Johnny" "And how I was always after him" "To get hitched, but he was such" "A commitment-Phobe." "Every time I" "Mentioned the "m" word, he would" "Say I was getting too clingy." "Hmm." "And then you and Janet tie" "The knot... mm-Hmm." "And a month later, me and him" "Were engaged." "Took me all this" "Time to realize I was always his" "Second choice." "Wish I knew that before we spent 6 grand on the goddamn marriage" "Counselor." "Well, you're not the only one" "He had fooled, you know." "I was his wife." "I should've" "Picked up on it." "Yeah." "So you--You seeing" "Anybody now, or... um, no, not really." "Not really." "I was seeing this wall street" "Guy, but, uh, he's too" "Possessive." "Jealous?" "Mm-Mmm." "No, he treated me" "Like I belonged to him, like I" "Was a lamp." "Heh." "He's rich," "Though, and he's cute, and he's" "Tough, too." "He's a boxer." "He's a broker-Slash-Boxer." "Oh." "Ha ha ha!" "Why'd I say" "Boxer?" "He's not a boxer." "He's," "Um, ugh." "The thing with the" "Hands and the feet." "He's a" "Kung fu." "He's kung fu." "Yeah." "He's got a black belt." "Or a red" "Belt." "Whatever--Whichever's the" "Toughest belt." "Karate." "Karate guy." "Yeah." "Oh." "Karate guys are always" "Talking about their belts and" "What color they are and" "Surprised they don't get a set" "Of heels and a handbag to go" "With the belt." "This guy's still" "Around?" "Eh, not really." "He shows up" "Every once in a while," "Checking in on me." "Stalking you?" "The occasional surprise" "Visit." "So you think, um, he would" "Mind if we, you know, got dinner" "Sometime?" "Ohh." "Probably." "Oh." "Oh, Tommy." "Ooh, I know you too well to" "Think you just happened to bump" "Into me out on the street there" "Today." "What" "You know, given the detailed" "Romantic math that Sheila laid" "Out for me and our past history," "I know you have some secret evil" "Plan in mind, and you know what?" "I've grown too mature for that" "Old-School, old-Neighborhood" "Type of bullshit." "I live in" "Manhattan now." "I've changed." "Thanks for the drink." "I've changed, too." "Quit drinking'." "Shit." "* sorry * ha ha ha ha!" "I swear to God, Jerry, I had" "No idea it was karaoke night." "And I had no idea what a great" "Voice you have." "Well, I can carry a tune." "You're not bad yourself." "Well, I'm not so good on my" "Own, but we make a nice duet." "Yeah, that we do, huh?" "I'll just grab my keys." "Look, I w--I wanna thank you" "For everything, and, uh, I'm not" "Used to letting the lady pay." "Call me old-Fashioned." "Heh." "Old-Fashioned." "Ah." "Heh heh heh." "It's nice to see you laugh." "I mean, you've been working so" "Hard." "You've got so much on your" "Mind." "Sometimes you have to put" "The load down and have a good" "Laugh." "Ah, your rendition of purple" "Rain certainly helped that" "Along." "You're awful." "And you are amazing." "Look, uh, I know I'm" "Old-Fashioned, but we've been" "Circling around each other for" "A couple months now." "Will you" "Spend the night?" "I'll have to think about it." "Oh." "Shit." "Ow." "Hey" "Take your time." "Oh." "It--It wasn't what" "I didn't see anything," "All right?" "All I'm saying is" "You're gonna violate yourself" "Like that, lock the door." "You--OK, I--First of all," "I would--One place I would never" "Jerk off is in the bathroom." "OK, I think" "OK?" "I was performing" "A medical procedure on myself." "Oh, really?" "I was checking my cock." "You know, that's the lamest" "Euphemism I've ever heard." "It's not a euphemism, OK?" "There's a very slight, ahem," "Slim, miniscule, really," "Chance that I might have, uh," "Chlamydia." "Heh heh heh heh." "No, I'm--I'm dead serious," "Lou." "I--I haven't taken a piss" "In 24 hours." "I'm afraid to," "You know, pull it out in case... flames shoot out of it?" "Yes!" "Yes, OK?" "You wanna tell me how this" "Happened?" "All right, um, you know" "Damian's, um, teacher, the one" "Yeah, the hottie." "Yeah." "She, uh--All right," "So she was supposedly raping," "You know, some of her students," "And Damian was one of the kids" "She was, uh, you know," "Having sex with, and anyways," "Long story short, I--I go," "And I talk to her about the" "Situation, blah, blah, blah," "And you know, next thing I know," "Bing, bang, boom, she wants me" "To have sex with her so she'll" "Stop having sex with Damian," "Which she did, by the way, and" "And I had sex with her, and it" "Was like I was Damian." "It was" "Like I was 15." "I--I couldn't" "Hold back." "I was coming like in 5 seconds." "Anyways, uh, I think" "She might have given me the," "Uh--The big "c."" "Cancer's big "c." Chlamydia" "Little "c."" "Oh." "Well, you know what I'm" "Saying, so what do you think?" "Hey, I don't know." "We're talkin' about piss-Filled" "Bladders." "We're talkin' about" "Illicit underage sex scandals" "With teachers and... which I put an end to," "By the way." "Students and uncles and" "Nephews." "We're talkin' about" "Fire-Breathing cocks." "I mean" "Heh heh." "Be honest with you, all" "Of a sudden--I don't know why," "But you know, I feel a little" "Bit better about my life." "Oh." "Well, I'm--I'm glad" "I could help you out." "Well, Tommy, I don't know" "What to tell you." "I mean, you're" "The only man in the tri-State" "Area who shares a case of" "Chlamydia with 3 teenage boys." "Nonclergy, of course." "And the 3-0 pitch coming down" "From... oh!" "Dude, it's all knotted up" "In the bottom of the ninth." "How long is it gonna take you to" "Fill that thing out?" "Yeah, I'm just tryin' to make" "Sure I got everything right." "Thousand-Mile journey begins" "With one step." "You know, I'm sick of that" "Philosophy shit." "Why does it" "Always feel like somebody's" "Tellin' me what I should do?" "Well, what do you wanna do," "Mike?" "I wanna stay in my firehouse," "You know." "I wanna be one of the" "Guys again." "Who are you gonna be besides" "Yourself?" "Will you cut it out with that" "Faggot-Ass philosophy?" "Who are you callin' a faggot," "Faggot?" "You." "No, you're the faggot." "Yeah, OK, Mr. Gay faggot guy" "Standin' out on his construction" "Site in his tight little" "Blue jeans." "Well, look who's talkin'," "Mr. Firefighter in your turnout" "Gear, lookin' like a lost member" "Of the village people." "Kiss my ass." "Oh, well, that sounds like" "Something a faggot might say," "Faggot." "He got it off, bro." "He got it." "It's gone." "Going." "Gone, baby!" "Gone!" "Unh!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Dude, you want a beer?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, all right." "Nice, bro." "...as he touches 'em all." "Tommy!" "Yeah." "Open--Open the door." "I'm coming." "Open the goddamn door, Tommy." "Hey." "What's up?" "Yeah." "You happy?" "I never" "Thought you, of all people," "Would sabotage the least" "Dysfunctional relationship in my" "Entire life." "S-Sabotage?" "You're the one" "Who's going out with, like, 6 different guys." "No, 5, and I like Sean the" "Best." "He happens to be very" "Nice, and he did--Does" "Everything I say." "He's perfect." "Then why--Why are you" "Cheating on him?" "A zebra can't change his" "Stripes overnight." "Oh." "Well, whatever." "Are you" "You lookin' for a cup?" "There." "Wait." "What is the matter" "With you?" "Nothing." "What do you have, the crabs?" "No." "You know, see what it says?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Well, looks like it's" "Half-Drunk." "It's half-Full." "No, it's half-Empty," "And I know pops didn't do this." "He knows better." "Lou, OK?" "Lou had--Is having" "A rough time." "He had a couple of" "Drinks." "That's all." "Here you go." "Yeah, well, I'll deal with" "That doughboy later." "What did" "You tell Sean about fred, huh?" "I--I told him the truth, OK," "That he committed suicide" "Because his dog died." "Lies." "That's what happened, mags," "OK?" "The guy had a chemical" "Imbalance." "Probably why you two" "Got along so well." "Listen, Tommy--What's the" "Matter with you?" "You got" "Nothing." "Nothing." "I have to" "Go to the bathroom." "That's all." "Listen, Tommy, if you don't" "Get your big pointy snout out of" "My affairs, I'm gonna make what" "You did to Johnny look like" "A game of patty-Cake." "OK." "You get me, Tommy?" "I gotcha." "Gotcha." "Snout?" "Take your eyes off my ass." "I can tell you're lookin' at my" "Ass, and I'm your sister, Tommy." "I was looking at your belt." "It's a nice belt." "Yeah, sure." "Nice--Nice talkin' to ya." "Ohh." "Ahh." "Ahh." "Oh, my God." "Ohh." "Ahh." "Ahh." "Whoo!" "Ohh." "My... ohh." "That her?" "Yep." "Great face." "Great rack." "Hey, hey, hey." "Watch it, pal." "You could be talking about my" "Future wife." "Gotcha." "Now tell me again, just so" "I'm clear, I marry her, I get to" "Have conjugal visits?" "Once every 10 days for an" "Hour at a time on prison grounds" "In a trailer with phone contact" "Every 10 minutes." "Not bad." "I mean, so I bang" "Her, she starts talkin' a blue" "Streak, I can always make" "Believe that one of those calls" "Means it's time for me to go" "Back to my cell, right?" "Happens all the time." "Perfect." "You got any" "Breath spray?" "Yep." "Here." "All right, all right." "Bud, I, uh--Jeez, I never" "Thought I'd--I'd see you." "It's gonna be a lot easier if" "You just let me talk." "Sure." "Go ahead." "I tried to keep Jeannie from" "Marrying you, because I thought" "You were a piece of shit," "But when I told her I would" "Never see her or speak to her" "Again, she called my bluff." "Not a day goes by I don't regret" "That threat." "Hey, look, you, uh--You had" "Your reasons." "My wife says that, uh, you" "Asking me for help, that showed" "Character." "I don't know if" "I agree with that, but look," "I admire your commitment to my" "Little sister." "You stuck with" "Her through all this." "It's 5 grand." "It should help" "You, uh, till you get your" "Finances in order." "Just don't" "Spend it on the ponies." "I would never do that, bud." "Jerry." "Is everything OK?" "Look, it's not what you" "Think, bud." "What I think?" "What I think is" "That's the most expensive piece" "Of ass you ever had, my friend." "Have a nice life." "How you doing, gorgeous?" "Oh, my God." "You look nothing" "Like the picture you sent me." "Oh." "Yeah." "I lost a hundred" "Pounds." "I'm on the murder-One" "Diet." "Ha ha ha." "But you, you look great in" "The picture you sent me, but you" "Look even better in person." "Aw, thanks." "Oh, my God." "I love your lips." "I wish I could" "Taste them." "Well, you certainly don't" "Waste any time." "Ah, no." "Life's too short." "I learned that last year." "My mother, she dropped dead in" "Front of me in the kitchen" "Making tea." "Oh, my God." "How old?" "86." "Healthy as a horse, too." "Go figure." "You never know." "Nah, you don't." "I'll probably" "Die behind bars." "But you know" "What?" "I had to go back in time," "I'd shoot that prick all over" "Again." "Hey, I think what you did is" "What needed to be done." "All these goddamn faggoty," "Politically correct assholes" "With their goddamn bibles and" "Their bumper stickers and their" "Girl power bullshit." "Nobody's" "Accountable anymore." "You get" "A drunk driver who kills a kid," "It's not his fault 'cause he" "Drank." "It's his parents' fault" "Because they bullied him when he" "Was a kid." "I am so sick of" "People not facing up to the" "Facts." "Black people like fried" "Foods." "Chinese people--Lousy" "Goddamn drivers." "Mexicans think" "A pickup truck holds 27 people." "And that's just what I think." "Will you marry me?" "Tommy." "Alicia." "I'm looking" "For Franco." "He, uh, took the day off" "Trying to find his daughter." "And I have a brother who's" "A cop, so I drop a dime," "Somebody's in a shitload of" "Trouble." "Well, you must not be fully" "Aware of the situation, or you'd" "Know that that somebody would" "Not be me." "Yeah." "You know how much, um," "He loves her?" "How much she loves him?" "Oh, do you?" "Have you spoken" "With her?" "I mean, or more" "Importantly, have you listened" "To her?" "Because I actually have," "And she's--She's frightened." "Of her own dad?" "Yeah, in a way, she is." "I" "Mean, she loves him, he's sweet," "But she's looking for a mommy," "And you know, lucky her, they" "Just keep on trooping through" "The front door." "Every time he" "Dates somebody for more than," "I don't know, what, a week, she" "Gets a new mom." "Look, the point" "Is in her daddy's house, girls" "Are things that disappear." "She's" "A girl, and she's wondering when" "Her time is gonna come." "Uh, I don't care what you" "Say." "There's no way" "Look, do you have a daughter?" "I have 2 daughters." "Oh, good." "Well, then you" "Probably heard this before," "Although it happens to be true." "You know the first man that" "A little girl falls in love with" "Is her daddy." "Yeah." "And so then when she gets" "Older and she wants to get" "Married, chances are that she's" "Gonna pick somebody just like" "Her old man." "Yeah, I'm aware of this" "Theory, and it's a bunch of" "Bullshit." "Oh." "So you don't have" "Anything in common with your" "Wife's father." "No." "Oh." "Nothing." "Nothing." "No." "He--He was a--He was in" "Real estate, first of all, so he" "Was a suit-And-Tie guy." "He spent" "His whole life behind a desk," "And real estate was all he" "Thought about." "He got up every" "Morning and thought about how to" "Rip people off, OK?" "He was a" "Selfish, self-Centered, greedy," "Lying, cheating midget." "He was," "Like, 5'2"." "I'm way taller than" "Him." "And not funny at all," "Which is one of things my wife" "Said she found attractive about" "Me when she met me was that I" "Was funny." "Her father was not" "Funny." "And why we're talking" "About me, I have no idea." "This is about Franco." "You like Franco?" "Yeah." "He's like one of my" "Best friends." "So you wouldn't mind if one" "Of your daughters wanted to" "Marry him." "That wouldn't--How would that" "Happen?" "They're way too young" "For him." "I don't know, when they get" "Older." "OK." "Well, then why don't you" "Have him call me, and we'll set" "Up a time where he can spend" "Some time with his daughter" "And--But tell him to call me" "After 5:00, 'cause I'm taking" "Her to the dentist." "She's never" "Been." "By the way, I'm not" "Expecting him to change." "I just" "Want him to learn a few things" "For her" "I gotcha." "OK." "That's good." "Your wife's" "Right." "You're a riot." "You know, quit starting" "At me, OK?" "What?" "You're starin' at me." "Just knock it off." "I'm not staring' at you." "I" "Yes, you are." "Yes, you are." "I was lookin' out the win" "One window and the other window." "I happened to look at you in" "Between." "It's called glancing." "Yeah." "Well, glance at" "Somebody else." "OK." "Whatever." "When you glance at somebody," "It's like they're like beside" "You or like at a distance from" "You, OK?" "You were blatantly" "Staring." "I don't need you to define" "Glancing for me, OK, asshole?" "Yeah." "I'm an asshole now." "Yep." "Why am I an asshole?" "You're an asshole because you" "Told Maggie everything I told" "You about fred." "OK, well, so I'm a pussy if" "I don't say anything to Maggie." "Now--And now I'm an asshole for" "Opening my big mouth." "You know" "What?" "You're impossible to" "Please." "Yeah." "You know what?" "You wanna please me?" "Keep your" "Hands out of my sister's pants." "Guys." "Hey." "Ladies, enough." "Ooh, you can't get me." "All right." "Ooh hoo hoo!" "She's the best thing that" "Ever happened to me, and you" "Ruined it." "I told you to talk to her," "OK?" "You decided to break up with" "Her." "You live with that" "Decision." "Yeah." "Well, you know what?" "Try this one out." "I don't wanna" "Be friends anymore." "Yeah." "And?" "I--I don't want you to call" "Me." "It's over." "We're breaking up." "You're--You're breaking" "Yes." "Hey, you guys listening to" "This?" "Garrity's breaking up" "With me." "Huh?" "Yeah." "It's over." "I don't want" "To hear from you." "I don't want" "No dinner, no hanging out... he's breaking up with me." "Nothing." "Unbelievable." "Oh, my God." "Your whole generation--Gay." "Here we go with the" "Generational thing again." "Well," "Excuse me for not seeing a movie" "That was made in, like, 1970-Blah, blah, blah, OK?" "I was" "Like a fetus." "Got here as fast as I could." "Tell me, what'd she say?" "Hey, take--Take it easy." "What was so important you" "Couldn't tell me over the phone?" "What did she say, Tommy?" "It's my goddamn little girl," "Tommy!" "It's my kid!" "OK, calm down." "Calm down." "It's OK, guys." "Sh-She said a lot of things." "Um... one of which is that, um, little" "Girls grow up to marry men who" "Are a lot like their dads, and" "I didn't think she was" "Necessarily talking about, ahem," "Looks, you know?" "Yeah." "Well, shit, I never" "Thought about that." "Yeah." "Me neither." "Guess that's a goddamn" "Terrifying prospect, huh?" "So what's the problem, right?" "Not like I'm gonna win any" "Father of the year awards." "My baby's gonna grow up wanting" "For nothing." "I get my life back" "The way it was before, huh?" "It's good for everybody, right?" "Franco." "Sorry for grabbing' ya." "* you know our heart's mate's" "Out there," "Waitin' for somethin' that'll" "Never arrive-- *" "Hello." "Tommy, it's ange." "Hey." "What's going on?" "I'm in." "You're in?" "Yeah, what we talked about at" "The bar, messing with Johnny and" "Janet." "I think it'll be fun." "Yeah, it'll be a blast." "So how do you want it to go" "Down exactly?" "Well, why don't you give me" "A couple of days to think about" "It, and, uh--And then I'll call" "You back with the plan." "OK." "OK." "Bye." "All right." "Bye." "* I feel like" "Letting it show," "Showin' you right here now," "They're never going away," "Hey ey ey ey *" "Shit."