"[Rock music playing on radio]" "I'm so glad we're done with work for today!" "I know, and I'm so glad we can finally drive ourselves home." "Now it's just us and the open road." "The wind in our hair, the roar of the engine... and great music on the radio." "[Police siren wails]" "And a police siren on our backs." "How fast are you going?" "Eight, maybe nine miles per hour." "Pray he's just a policeman from NYPD Blue." " Ladies." " What seems to be the problem, Officer?" "I've got you guys going through a tram zone at 10 miles per hour." "You know, I got tourists walking around the lot... and I don't think getting hit by a studio cart on the lot... would be a very good vacation." "Do you?" "No." "I'm going to write you up a citation for speeding." " We're in a golf cart." " All right." "Don't be cute, okay?" "Wait a minute." "You're Mary-Kate and Ashley." "ASHLEY:" "Yeah." "Oh, man, my daughter loves you guys." "Wait till she hears this." "Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen." "She's gonna die." "Our dad's gonna kill us." "Okay, I just need you two to sign this." "Oh, wait." "Maybe you'd rather sign one of those pictures?" "That's what they're here for." "You never know when they'll come in handy." " What's her name?" " Rebecca." "Two C's." "So, do you still talk to Saget?" "Yeah, we IM him all the time." " There you go." " That's great." "Oh, yeah." "You guys, you're making me a hero." "This is great." "You know what, we'll drop the citation." "You two slow down and have a good day." " Thank you." "You, too." " Okay." "Thank you." "We are so lucky." "I wonder if this'll work on the freeway next year." " Hi, Leah." "I'd like" " One decaf mocha coming up, Chloe." "Thank you." "Hey, Leah." "It says your coffee of the day is Kenyan... but this tastes much more like South American." "Here." "You can taste the rainforest." "Well, chocolate, it's all the same to me." "I'm pretty sure it's Kenyan." "I ground it myself." "I'll go check." "And what about my decaf mocha?" "Please." "Lennon..." "I don't understand why you're making such a big deal about this." "I mean, Kenyan, South American, they're just beans." "I'm sure Leah doesn't even care." "Thank God you noticed this." "I must've mixed up the bags." "These beans are my life." "Two decaf Kenyans on the house." "[Cammie giggling]" " Chloe's here to vent about Lennon." " And go!" "It's like he thinks he's so great... just because he's cute, smart, knows five languages... and his dad once photographed Mount Everest." "I mean, so what?" "I'm in Honors French, and my dad's in the Sierra Club." "Are you guys listening to any of this?" "Yeah." "Blah, blah, blah." "You like Lennon." "I'm going to get a muffin." "A muffin." "That sounds good." "Where's our waitress?" "Cammie?" "That would be you." "Oh, yeah." "Right." "I'll have a muffin." "One muffin." "Table five." "Hey, Riles." "Hi, Larry." "I'm over here." "Sorry." "I have a crick in my neck." "How about a massage?" "Nice try, Larry." "Not from me, from her... that girl that gives the massages here." "Maybe she could help you." "Let a stranger crack my crick?" "Are you crazy?" "No, Willow's totally reputable." "She has a stand on Venice Beach... right between the chainsaw jugglers and the flame eaters." "No, really, Larry." "I don't like anyone touching anything or including" "Wow, that's some crick." "Oh, no." "I wouldn't even call it a crick, more of a crick-ette." " It's a crick." " Okay." "Goodbye." "Why don't you let me try to work that out?" "Here, sit in my chair." "Close your eyes, relax, and let me work my magic." "No, it's okay." "I really don't like anyone to" "Oh, yeah, right there." "Your chi is totaled." "This is going to require massive body work." "Oh, wait." "How much is this going to cost?" "Relax." "The first one's on the house." "In that case, can you do that thing with your knuckles again?" "Yeah." "[Moaning satisfactorily]" "[Doorbell ringing]" "Jake." "Hey, I'm glad you're here." "Yeah, well, your message said that you needed me." "I do." "What do you think of this dress?" "Oh!" "Is that what you wanted to talk about?" "Unless there's something you wanted to talk to me about." "Well, I don't know." "You know, there's the kids, my new haircut... the fact that we kissed." "Did I mention my new haircut?" "Jake, I think that was a momentary lapse in judgment." "Too much off the sides?" "I meant the kiss." "Yeah, I know." "We probably shouldn't do that anymore." "Probably not." "No matter how much, you know...." "We may...." "[Manny exclaiming]" "Señor Jake!" "Have you been using the Flowbee again?" "I told you, you have to use my hair guy, dude." "You're in a beautiful forest." "[Moaning satisfactorily]" "Sunlight streams in through the leaves." "You are totally relaxed." "You could stay here forever." "Time's up!" "Riley?" "I'm in the forest." "So, another 15 minutes then?" " Can I get a refill, please?" " Sure." "Here you go, one Kenyan Blend." "South American, actually." "Not that us mortals can tell the difference." "Why does the conversation always turn to Lennon?" " She is so into him." " Absolutely." "And seeing Lennon with another girl would totally drive her nuts." "What girl?" "You should just ask him out." "Is she pretty?" "What's her name?" "Can I take her?" "Go ask him." "Maybe I should." " Hey." " Hey, you." "Look." "Okay, this may seem stupid, but here it goes." "There's this really cool band playing here Friday night... and I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me." "[Blender whirring]" "So, what do you think?" "Sure, whatever." "So?" "Did you ask him out?" "I don't know." " A little more?" " Oh, yeah." "That'll be $1 a minute." "Keep it coming." "I'll see you later." "I have a 12:30 with Willow." "You just had a massage this morning." "Isn't that kind of expensive?" "You can't put a price on health." "I mean, Willow does, but she's totally worth it." "See you." "See." "There's the guy I may or may not have a date with." "Well, just ask him out again." "It's like what I do with my acting." "If I audition and I don't hear from the producer..." "I just show up and audition again." "Sometimes there's security, and sometimes there's dogs." "But I don't think that'll happen here." "But if Lennon heard, then we already have a date... and that'll look really desperate." "Listen, as someone in a long-term relationship..." "I think I speak from experience." "Cammie, you've been going out with Larry for 72 hours." "And don't you want something that solid?" "Look, communication is the key to solving problems in any relationship." " Now go communicate." " Okay." " Hey, Len." " Hey, Chloe." "So, about Friday night..." "I was just wondering if you wanted to go...." "[Whirring]" "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you." "Well, I was just thinking that it would be fun if...." "[Bell ringing]" " Why don't I talk to you later?" " Okay!" "Okay!" "Communication's hard." "Who wants Krispy Kremes?" "Jake!" "You know I don't eat those things." "The same way we don't kiss anymore?" " Morning." "Hey, Dad." " Riley." "What are you doing here?" "I live here." "Your father was just dropping off some donuts." "Great!" "Can I take them to school later and sell them?" "Okay." "If anyone's interested..." "I'm going to put the blue stuff into the toilet." "And it only lasts for three flushes, so hurry." " I'll do it." " You will?" "For $10." "You'll pay me later." "Cash." "Don't flush without me." "So I'm beginning to think it's like an omen or something." "You know, like Lennon and I just aren't meant to be together." "How long is this guy gonna hog the massage chair?" "I mean, Willow does have other clients." "Is no one hearing me?" "Does he look sweaty to you?" " What do you care?" " That's my chair." "I mean, I need my 15 minutes now." "I can't wait until my lunchtime appointment." "How many massages have you had?" "I don't know." "A few." "But it's fine." "I can cancel anytime I want." " Aren't they expensive?" " It's only $1 a minute." "So I see her, like, an hour a day, so it's only like" "$60!" "It's fine." "It relaxes me." "Okay, tick-tock, buddy." "Let's move it!" "Does no one care about my problem?" "Oh, my God, I totally care." "What's your problem again?" "Well, I think I didn't ask Lennon out again." "Why don't you just call him?" "Well, I already tried twice." "It's so embarrassing." "Yeah." "Everybody at school is talking." "Oh, but don't let that stop you." "Yeah, he's not answering." "He's probably on the other line, long-distance to Kenya... with some girlfriend he can actually hear... because he's the big world traveler, Mr. Know-It-All." "LENNON:" "Chloe?" "Is that you?" "Do you think he heard?" "Well, he hasn't so far." " Wait." " What?" "I just...." "I want to go slow... and I just really want to be sure where this is all going." "Macy, I don't want to get your hopes up... but there's a very strong possibility... we're going to end up married with two 15-year-old girls." "Just because we're married... doesn't mean that I am ready to throw myself at you." "A woman really likes to be romanced, wined, dined." "Okay." "I respect that." "You know what, Macy?" "You got something on your shirt." "Well, why don't I get it for you here." "Just...." " Jake." " Let me get that for you." " Oh, what's this?" " Oh, no." "No." "Not the spot." "Oh, Jake, kiss me now!" "Sorry, Macy." "A guy likes to be romanced, wined and dined." "Okay." "We got a problem." "I was just browsing online... and I came across the secret life of Riley Carlson." "Look at this." "She is selling her entire CD collection on eBay." "This is unbelievable!" "The 'N Sync CDs are going for $3." " So, what's wrong with that?" " They're mine." "Now I'll tell you, the nannies talk, and we know about this." "The edgy behavior and the borrowing of the money." "But I'll tell you something." "One minute, they're selling their boy-band music... and cleaning the toilet for $1... and the next, they're in the Promises Clinic... with Robert Downings Jr." "Manuelo, don't be ridiculous." "Come on." "Our Riley?" "Yeah." "I mean, she tells us everything." "We would know if there was a problem." "Willow, I've been beeping you all day." "I mean, I understand you have other clients... but I just need a little something to get me through the night." "Hey, guys." "No, Willow." "I promise, I'm totally good for it." "No, please don't cut me off." "I just really need it to relax." "I'll call you back." " Hey, Mom." " Hey." "What's up?" "Nothing." "What's up with you?" "Nothing, just chilling." "You know, just want to make sure you're cool." "Mmm-hmm." "Riley, is there something that you'd like to talk to me about?" "No." "Actually, there is one thing." "I was wondering if I could get an advance on my birthday money." "Riley, your birthday is six months away." "Well, then how about advance on my Christmas money?" "I mean, that's only a few months away." "Come on, Mom, work with me here." "Honey, what is all this money for?" "What is this, an inquisition?" "Gosh, you're getting my chi all out of whack." "Chi?" "[School bell ringing]" "[Teacher speaking in French]" "[Students replying in French]" "[Whispering] Would you pass it to him?" "Hey, guys." "Can I borrow $1 from you?" " Sure." " And $50 from you." "I need money for a massage." "Riley, this is crazy." "Look at yourself." "You can't stop." "Larry, don't be silly." "I mean, you can't be addicted to massages." "Where's Willow?" "I'm freaking out here!" "Hi, Willow." "Are you available now for a massage?" "Riley, you haven't paid me for your last four massages." "This isn't how I do business." "Please, Willow." "Take me to the forest." "Look, I don't know how it worked at your little-girl lemonade stand... but I don't massage without pay." "Now, get me my money or you'll find yourself up a crick with no paddle." "I can't believe this." " We're just gonna have to confront her." " I tried that." "She started babbling about her chi and ran off to the bathroom." "Where did I go wrong?" "Perhaps if I had been a more available nanny." "[Doorbell ringing]" "Mr. and Mrs. Carlson, we need to talk to you about Riley." " She's in big trouble." " Yeah." "It's all my fault." "I'm the one that introduced her to Willow in the first place." "Willow?" "Wait a minute." "Isn't that Riley's friend with the beeper?" "She goes to her all the time, and she owes her a lot of money." "She owes me $1, too, which I'd like now." "Later's good, too." " Where can I find this Willow?" " She's at the Newsstand." " That's it." "I'm going down there." " Wait!" "You stay here in case Riley comes back." "I want to go kick some Willow butt." "While you're there..." "I was supposed to bring this latte to table three a half-hour ago." "Fine." "Where is she?" "Mrs. Carlson, you seem pretty tense." "You should go find Willow." " Willow?" " Yes." "I'm Riley Carlson's mother." "I want you to know that I think you have got some kind of nerve coming in here... and taking advantage of my little girl." "Hey, she came and asked me for a massage." "A massage?" "What'd you think?" "Massage." "I thought massage." "I'm sorry, Dad." "I mean, it started with a crick." "So I thought one harmless massage, why not?" "Well, then one became two, and two became a lot... and I sold Manuelo's CDs and gosh, Dad, there's just so much pressure being a kid." "Honey, I understand." " Wow." "You really are tense." " That's what I'm saying." "[Exclaiming satisfactorily]" "[Moaning satisfactorily]" "Oh, wait." "How much is this going to cost?" "Don't worry." "The first one's on the house." "In that case, take me to the forest." " Hey, Chloe." " Hey, Lennon." "I didn't know if you were going to be here or not." "I wouldn't miss it." "This band rocks." "So, is it all right if Mr. Know-It-All sits with you?" "That you heard." "Well, actually, my date is sitting here." "Derrick." "From class." "Derrick." "Nice guy." " Well, I'll just sit right over here." " Okay." "Hey, I was thinking, maybe some night me and you could...." "LEAH:" "And the Newsstand is proud to present Eric Anton." "[Rock music playing]" "Okay!" "That's a wrap, people." " Bye." "See you tomorrow." " Bye." "See you tomorrow." "See you later." "Okay, people." "Make sure you grab a script on the way out." "Drive safe, girls." "[Officer clears throat]" " License, please." " Come on, sir!" "I haven't even put the key in." "Yeah, well, you guys got a little broken, little tail something." "Something, something, something." " You want another picture, don't you?" " Yeah." "I got a niece." "Her name is Sarah." " Here." " Great." " You're welcome." " Still my heroes." "English" " SDH"