"theytraindoctorsslowly." "They watch us practice on frogs..." "And pigs, and dead people," "And then live people." "They drill us relentlessly." "They raise us like children." "And eventually, they take a cold, hard boot," "And they kick us out of the nest." "I have great faith in you..." "Great faith." "I can because I chose you, I trained you." "I've watched you work." "I know what you can do." "That's why today is different." "The training wheels are coming off, people." "I'm throwing down the gauntlet today, people." "I've got a $1-million surplus and one department gets it." "You know what you need, and I know what you need." "Now I want to know what you want." "And I'm gonna keep the residents busy, very busy." "So that'll give you time to put your best foot forward." "Navy scrubs?" "Attending scrubs." "You are attendings today." "Run the cases, take point, but don't be a fool." "If you get in over your head, cry uncle." "Until then..." "Congratulations." "You've just been promoted." "Um, chief webber." "Uh, sorry." "I-I didn't get any scrubs." "Oh, this is for fourth-year residents only, grey." "It's just a regular day for you." "Well, fine." "Well, if they're gonna be attendings," "Then that makes me chief resident." "No." "That makes you our scut monkey." "No, it doesn't." "Does-- does it?" "It doesn't." "* why you been stalling', stalling all the time * * it's true, why do you lie?" "*" "* I don't know who you're seein' on the sly * * today I got to know * * who you been calling, calling, did you slide?" "*" "The attendings aren't going anywhere." "We're basically just playing dress up." "Yeah." "*" "Here you go." "Thank you." "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "Of course it is." "We all did it." "It's the evolution of the craft, the passing of the torch," "The lifeblood of the training process." "mm." "Here you go." "Here you go." "Thanks." "Hey." "Come on." "Ow." "Pray, people." "We want god in the building today." "What time are we pitching you?" "Yeah, is there an order?" "You people are adults." "You decide the order." "I decide whose department gets the $1 million." "Love a good dogfight." "He can be intimidating once you get in the room." "Really?" "Oh, yeah." "When I pitched my cartilage research last year, he was" "All ticked off 'cause I had a typo in my table of contents." " Y - you had a table of contents?" "Yeah." "What?" "I love a good dogfight, too." "ruff." "it's my case." "Are you gonna hand me over the chart?" "What factors would lead a patient" "To want breast reduction surgery?" "Uh, neck pain, back pain, balance issues." "Hand it over." "Keep trying." "I don't know." "Maybe she's a prude," "Uh, doesn't want everyone staring at her all the time." "Maybe she's embarrassed." "No, but you're getting warmer." "Hi, I'm dr." "Karev." "Mindy gruberman." "Nice to meet you." "I can work with that." "she's not the patient. dr." "Robbins." "So you'll be on my service, too, huh?" "Dr. Karev's gonna be our team leader today." "Excuse me." "Honey." "quit futzing with the gown." "Come out here." "The doctors want to see you." "come here." "What's up?" "Ms. Radigan, you're still having these headaches" "And ringing in the ears?" "All day long." "It's driving me crazy." "It's caused by a buildup of fluid in your skull." "So what we will do is insert a shunt," "And that will relieve the pressure on your brain." "What do you mean, "we"?" "You're doing the actual tube part in the brain, right," " N - not them?" "Excuse her." "She's a schoolteacher." "She talks to everyone like they're hiding gum" "Behind their back. that's all right." "She can ask questions." "Dr. Grey and dr." "Avery are residents." "They're very talented." "One of them will be" "Performing the procedure, and I will be observing." "A trainee cutting into ellie's brain?" "No." "I know it sounds like a leap," "But these doctors study and assist for years." "At some point, we have to let them operate." "That's how we make new surgeons." "Let them learn on someone else." "Who, someone who's too scared to interrogate the doctors?" "They have to learn on someone." "Might as well be an old lady." "You're my old lady." "This should be my call." "I won't let them move a muscle" "Without my direction and approval." "You're a teacher, joanne." "Let the kids learn." "She's my life." "She has been my life for 40 years." "Do you hear me?" "I hear you." "radiologist, contact 5-3-1-0." "Radiologist..." "Who gets to cut?" "I want to get a look at both of you with a drill" "Before I decide who gets the shunt." "Skills lab seems like a fair way to go." "Competing with the wife?" "Like that's not a stacked deck." "Well, it's a game, really." "So all you have to do is win, which you won't." "I don't like the idea" "Of teenagers getting plastic surgery." "If the growths were on his face," "You wouldn't have a problem with him wanting them removed." "Yeah, but I might have a problem" "With karev removing them." "I'll give you that." "Ooh." "What happened?" "Karev's about to do a gynecomastia surgery" "On a 13 year old." "Oh, karev's fine." "He's done way bigger procedures than that." "You two would just rather worry about him than about" "Your, uh, presentations to the chief." "Oh, yeah." "I'm not worried." "The money is going to the tiny humans." "No one ever says no to the tiny humans." "Oh." "Okay." "What?" "Well..." "You're not gonna cry 'cause you find the chief intimidating?" "no." "Good. good." "All right." "I have work to do." "Okay." "Yeah." "Bye." "what, are you trying to psych her out?" "Ortho needs the money." "She and the friggin' tiny humans" "Have all the help they need already." "I'm getting the money." "Let it go." "oh, okay." "why wouldn't I?" "Well, because you never prepare for anything." "You think you'll get by on your good looks and charm" "And the brilliance that pops off the top of your head." "Yeah, 'cause it always works." "mm." "Uh-huh." "Roy henley, 57, was admitted 2 days ago" "With severe wheezing from pulmonary hypertension," "Which basically means" "I can't breathe for crap." "We're gonna run some tests." "That should help us decide how to proceed." "You can run all the tests you want," "But what I need's new lungs." "My doctor said I was gonna need 'em one day," "But I was too healthy for it." "I bet I'm not too healthy now." "Dr. Yang?" "We'll run some tests." "Uh, mr." "Henley," "You listed your daughter as your emergency contact." "Is she here with you today?" "Oh, no." "She lives over in aberdeen." "I don't want to trouble her." "Is there anyone here with you?" "I'm a tough old dog." "I don't need a chaperone." "Sir, your-- your condition is serious." "It might be time to trouble your daughter." "Do we think he's a transplant candidate?" "Do we?" "Well, at this point," "I don't think there's anything else we can do, right?" "Dr. Yang, do you agree?" "I don't know." "You don't know if you agree?" "He'd have to be approved by the transplant team before" "Going on the waiting list." "Do we convene a panel?" "Yang, do we?" "I couldn't say." "he's running out of time." "I say we convene the panel for today." "Okay, convene the panel, and then what?" "I get some interns to order mr." "Henley's tests." "On it." "Dr. Yang." ""I don't know"?" "I'm here." "I am trying." "But taking point right now is" "I am not asking you to be in an o.R." "I am asking you to say something, to participate." "We're at a crossroads, yang," "A crossroads where you either get in the game..." "Or I tell richard it's time to send you home." "Imagine-- seattle grace," "The hospital that made heart surgery obsolete." "That's a..." "Big claim." "Well, if the five million americans" "Who suffer from heart failure" "Could simply just regenerate their own damaged hearts" "I mean, it sounds like magic, but it-- it's possible." "It's happening." "Dr. Altman, stem cell research" "Is on the cutting edge of every field of medicine." "Why cardio?" "well, cardio and-- and neuro" "Are the beacons of this hospital." "They're what put you on the map." "Look, you know what?" "You-- you can't give this money to neuro." "I mean, neuro isn't even really a-a department." "It's just one strong surgeon." "You're better off putting your money on to a deeper bench." "What do you mean?" "Well, shepherd, he's like a charismatic cult leader." "He's very appealing" "And he's got a bunch of people hiding in his shadows," "But-- well, don't get me wrong, he is a great surgeon," "And he can pull off a flashy procedure," "But is he really cultivating talent?" "Is he taking the time to teach your residents," "Knowing when to push" "And dishing out tough love when-- when they need it?" "I mean, that's the hard part." "I" " I don't know." "Maybe shepherd just doesn't like competition." "I mean, he tried to fire me." "Well, I mean, not that I'm holding a grudge or anything." "Well, not-- not much of one anyway." "I'm, uh, uh..." "Well, I-I feel like I should've stuck to my notes." "is teddy saying you could be fired?" "Sounded that way." "Well, is she trying to scare you?" "Is it working?" "I don't think so. oh, damn it." "What's his problem?" "Derek's got us competing for a brain shunt insertion." "The egg is the skull." "You can break the shell," "But you can't break the membrane." "Damn it!" "I feel bad for him." "He's kind of losing it." "I shouldn't be in charge of anybody." "Just put one foot in front of the other." "Just get through the day." "Grey!" "You broke my concentration." "Sorry." "Um, hey, uh, post-ops look good, so if there's nothing else..." "Oh, could you discharge 12-24?" "And his chart needs to be dictated." "Uh, yes, it's gonna have to wait" "Until after I check on torres' knee girl," "Turf the window jumper to psych," "Remove a June bug from some kid's ear in the pit," "Write some meds for screaming-kidney-stones guy," "And then deliver labs to my goiter lady." "Stop bragging." "I can't." "I was born for this kind of day." "No." "Stop." "Seth, no." "Okay?" "Okay?" "This can wait a couple of years." "Mom, you said this was my decision." "You said, after my bar mitzvah, I'd be a man and I could decide." "That is because we thought by 13," "You'd make the mature decision." "You can't just cut off" "The parts of your body that you don't like, all right?" "I don't like my thighs, okay?" "Or my saggy arms or my chin," "But if we all cut off the parts we don't like," "We'd all have nothing left." "Mom!" "Seth!" "Your father has the exact same chest as you," "And nobody thinks he's a woman." "Look, would you please talk to her?" "Uh..." "I'm calling your father." "They call me booby at school." "Man boobs, double "d."" "Some kid keeps hanging a bra in my locker." "I'm starting high school in a year." "It's gonna be all new people." "I just want to start over." "I want to be normal..." "Like everyone else." "Why can't we just skip the panel?" "We know I need the lungs." "Not everyone makes a good transplant candidate." "If someone can't reliably take their anti-rejection meds..." "I can." "Or have severe disease in another organ." "I don't." "Oh, well, there are just a lot of indicators" "As to whether a person is strong enough to survive the surgery." "I want to know what she thinks," "The one with the sourpuss on her face." "I don't have a sourpuss." "This is just my face." "It's true." "It is just her face." "You think I'll..." "Pass the panel?" "I couldn't say." "Oh, cheer up, sourpuss." "You're young," "You got your health." "I think you're doing all right, both of you." "Practically kids and doctors, no less." "I bet your dads are really proud." "I'm from a small town, a farm, actually." "So yes, my dad was over the moon" "When I became a doctor." "What about you?" "karev." "Seth's mother just came by" "Saying she wants to pull the plug on the kid's procedure." "That your idea of taking point?" "Well, I'm" " I'm gonna talk to her." "I spent two hours consulting with this family last month." "Ten minutes with you, they're ready to walk." "Pediatric surgery is 80% parent management, karev." "You know that." "I'm handling it." "Megan, hi." "Uh, I am dr." "Grey." "Just checking in to see how you're feeling." "Megan." "Meg." "She doesn't hear well when she's texting." "I can hear her." "Thanks." "Where's the other doctor-- dr." "Torres?" "Oh, I'll" " I'll be checking you today." "How's your knee?" "Is the, uh, pain any better?" "Look, you seem really sweet," "But this whole, like, super-busy, messy-hair," "Running-around-like- a- banshee thing you have going" "Doesn't exactly inspire confidence." "I mean, you don't even know my case." "Meg whealon, age 28," "Tibial plateau fracture caused by a bicycle accident." "At least that's what you told the e.R.," "But you told dr." "Torres that you were going 30 miles an hour," "Which makes me think that you were on" "Your boyfriend's motorcycle, and I'm gonna guess" "That he has a license for it, and you don't." "This is off the top of your head?" "I memorized your chart." "Your facture was fixed" "With elevation and percutaneous screw fixture." "You are allergic to penicillin, currently on blood thinners" "To make sure you don't develop d.V.T.," "And if you would just talk to me about your knee," "Then I could adjust your pain meds and be out of your hair." "She's good." "You're good." "I'm busy, but I can handle it." "Every doctor in this hospital needs trauma training" "Disaster training." "You've got a strong department." "No, no, not just my staff." "Everyone." "11 people died in that shooting." "Now eight of them..." "Never had a chance," "But the other three could've been saved." "Charles percy had a gunshot wound to the abdomen." "Miranda bailey did everything that she was trained to do." "She gave him fluids, controlled the bleeding, applied pressure." "Then she tried to get him to an o.R., but she couldn't," "And so he died." "Now a doctor with disaster training" "Would've been able to assess that environment more quickly" "And would've known an alternative escape route." "Dr. Bailey was not trained to do that," "And neither are 90% of the doctors on your staff." "She'll remember him dying in her arms" "For the rest of her life." "And I'll remember." "And you'll remember that we could've saved him." "We failed her." "We failed charles percy," "One of our own doctors." "I can't face that." "I can't face that ever again." "Can you?" "I'd like to expand the burn unit at seattle grace," "Make us the go-to destination for serious burn victims." "I'd also like to upgrade us" "To a real nationally renowned center" "For cosmetic reconstructive surgery." "Two subspecialties?" "Well, revenue from the cosmetic center" "Will help support the burn unit." "One hand scratches the other." "It's a nice idea," "And an awfully ambitious plan for $1 million," "And a tremendous amount of work." "I'm not seeing anyone right now." "I'm not sleeping with nurses..." "Residents, attendings, nobody." "So I'm an untapped source of raw power." "I'm telling you, I have the energy of ten men." "So with your $1 million and my untapped stores," "We can move mountains." "Are you excited?" "I'm excited." "Leave." "Right now." "Just..." "Just..." "Mrs. Gruberman, every surgery has its risk," "But this one is pretty simple." "Look, it'll make your son" "Feel a whole lot better about himself." "Well, if the surgery is really a good idea," "I would like to hear it from dr." "Robbins and dr." "Sloan." "Look, I'm" "No." "I will speak to dr." "Robbins and dr." "Sloan." "Cristina." "Cristina." "Roy's labs." "He's got fungal pneumonia," "And his creatinine clearance is dangerously low." "I mean, if it gets any worse, we're looking at renal failure." "I'm surprised he was sitting up and talking." "I mean, a-after surgery," "Couldn't the immunosuppressants kill him?" "Maybe." "Well, okay, I-I-if we don't recommend him, he dies." "But, uh, if we recommend someone who won't survive," "Then it's just a waste of an organ" "That could've gone to someone else." "What do you think?" "I don't know." "You need to know." "We have to have an opinion." "We called the stupid panel." "we have to stand up in front of teddy... and the chief and a roomful of doctors" "And recommend whether this guy lives or dies." "It's right down the middle with this guy, like a trick question." "He's a trick patient." "fine." "Forget it." "The right opinion, the only opinion that matters is teddy's," "So I will just figure out what she thinks," "And I will say that." "Okay." "D- don't you care at all?" "Come on." "You gotta care." "no, you did not say that to the chief." "Oh, god." "It's your fault, you know?" "You psyched me out." "What?" "All I ever do is support you." "Oh, look at that face." "That's her game face." "She's-- she's in it to win it." "No." "Oh, hey, karev, did you talk to seth's mother?" "No, she's thinking about it." "She may want to talk" "To you guys again." "Way to handle it." "What?" "I can't force her to listen to me." "Keep your face in that book." "It'll inspire confidence." "oh, my god." "Okay, that's getting in someone's head." "I'm just honest." "Oh, I'm up with the chief." "I gotta go." "Oh, knock him dead." "Oh, wait." "Here." "I brought you tissues, just in case." "Oh." "Thanks." "Mm-hmm." "You have a sickness." "Hmm?" "You do." "What?" "okay, 30 seconds." "If neither one of you breaks the membrane," "I'm gonna have to judge you on precision," "So make sure your initials are clean and clear." "Dr. Shepherd." "Yes." "Stop talking!" "Five, four..." "Three, two, one." "Time." "Ah." "What do you got?" "Oh, not bad." "What about you, dr." "Avery?" "I just wish I had more time." "Oh, really?" "You did your whole name?" "What?" "!" "You conned me." "I don't know what you're talking about." "He hustled me." "He went through two dozen eggs" "And made me think I didn't have to practice." "Well, if you didn't practice, meredith," "You were overconfident." "Dr. Avery, congratulations." "You have the surgery." "And then I would take the remaining money" "And invest it in resources" "For less invasive pediatric cancer surgeries." "Even the smallest change" "Could dramatically improve the lives of so many children." "Wouldn't that be amazing?" "Well, that is a very compelling" "And very focused presentation, dr." "Robbins." "You seem surprised." "No." "No, not at all." "Did you think I was gonna cry?" "Yeah." "Yeah. um..." "Torres suggested that I was going to cry as well." "I think that we should all try" "To wipe the whole crying thing out of our memories." "It happens very rarely, it's..." "Embarrassing," "And-- and frankly, I think that I've got it under control." "And the fact that my colleagues" "See me as the type of person who would burst into tears" "In the middle of an important, professional situation," "Well, that doesn't make me weepy." "That makes me mad." "Like, violent." "It makes me want to punch someone." "And, you know, I-I'm the daughter of a marine, sir," "So I was taught to hit as a child." "I was taught to hit fast and hit hard" "So you only have to hit once, and now I feel like hitting" "A person or a wall-- no, a person." "Let's just circle back to the sweet little children." "Here you go." "Thank you." "I like the dark blue scrubs on you." "You look good." "You okay?" "My patient deserves a doctor." "You don't have to cut." "Nobody's asking you to." "I know that." "I know-- I know what's being asked of me," "And I'm doing it." "Okay, I got an idea." "And I-I think it's gonna help." "You and me, we're gonna go outside..." "Mm-hmm." "Into the alley behind the hospital," "And you're just-- you're just gonna kick my ass." "You're gonna knock the living crap out of me." "There you are." "I knew you were in there somewhere." "At the end of this day, good or bad," "We're gonna go home together." "Whatever it takes to get him home." "I just want to get him home." "Yeah, um-- 13 is young for plastic surgery," "But your kid's not gonna grow out of it." "He's already gone through puberty," "And his father's had the same condition his entire life." "Look, if he had weight to lose," "I would advise diet and exercise," "But your kid doesn't have a weight problem." "He has breasts." "He needs excision of the glandular tissue." "And yeah, it could wait till he's older," "But he's a dude with breasts, and he's headed for high school," "And there's no reason he should be subjected" "To the psychological damage" "That comes from years of taking schoolyard crap." "Look, you want your kid to be a man?" "Let him make his own decisions." "Any other questions?" "Hey." "I got a page." "Is everything okay?" "Something's wrong." "First she had a headache, and then" "I can't see." "Everything is blurry." "Okay, look right here." "I am freaking out." "Tell me I don't need to freak out." "The whole left side of my body feels weird." "I thought it was because I fell asleep on it, but it's tingling." "Okay, squeeze my hand." "She had knee surgery." "What the hell is going on?" "I don't know yet, but I'm gonna order a head c.T.," "And then I am going to page for a neuro consult." "Looks like" "You're gonna get to see another doctor today after all." "The minute I hand you this drill, you're on your own." "You may have hustled dr." "Grey," "But you better not have hustled me." "This is not a game." "This is a real brain." "I got it." "I'm ready." "dr." "Shepherd," "Lexie grey is paging for a consult, repeatedly." "I'm in surgery." "Dr. Grey." "Well, are you sure?" "I wouldn't want to be overconfident." "cardio is not my thing." "What?" "neuro is my focus," "And this is cardiothoracic," "And I've had relatively little experience with cardiothoracic." "And yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna walk in there today" "And humiliate myself," "Or humiliate you, or teddy, or the chief." "You know, really," "Anyone who could possibly be humiliated by my failure" "Is gonna be humiliated today." "He was admitted two days ago." "Teddy could've convened a panel yesterday," "But she didn't." "she doesn't think he's a candidate." "No, she doesn't, so just say that, and you'll be fine." "Everyone will be fine except for roy," "Who will be dead." "Wow." "Way to kill a happy moment." "Where's shepherd?" "I paged shepherd." "You got me." "Are you her boss?" "'cause there's something seriously wrong here." "I am." "Sir, I need you to go to the waiting room right now." "But I-- right now." "Sir, come with me." "Okay, um, she's-- she's post-op day two" "From a tibial plateau fracture." "She-- she was fine all day, fine, and then ten minutes ago," "She started complaining of headache, blurred vision" "And tingling on the left side of her body." "I" " I ordered a stat head c.T." "I cannot believe that you're the neuro consult." "Is she on blood thinners?" "Yes, for d.V.T. Prophylaxis." "She's got a brain bleed." "Let's book an o.R." " H - how didn't I see this coming?" "Did you check her platelets?" "Yes." "And everything was normal?" "Until now, yes." "Okay, well, you checked her platelets, you got a c.T.," "You called neuro." "You did everything right." "The only thing you're doing wrong" "Is standing around talking about it, wasting time," "While we should be getting her to the o.R. You totally sounded like an attending." "Right?" "Let's page shepherd 9-1-1." "Okay." "dr." "Shepherd, it's dr." "Grey again." "Meredith grey." "Just passing the ventriculostomy tube now." "Almost there." "All right." "Take your time, dr." "Avery." "You want to make sure that" "Damn it." "Damn it." "Damn it." "Damn it." "Are you kidding me?" "Are you kidding me?" "I-- what did you do?" "And that is why the future of ortho is in xenografting." "you think I'm nuts." "You're thinking," "I don't want some cow ligament in my leg." "That sounds wacky." "Is that supposed to be my voice?" "no." "That's the..." "The voice of the average baby boomer." "I was hoping for something more..." "Inspirational." "For-- for example," "Dr. Robbins suggested that we take a little" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "Tiny humans." "What?" "Arizona's nicer than I am." "I'm" " I'm sorry." "She's more patient." "She went to hopkins." "She's more renowned in her field." "She's a much better lesbian." "I mean, I was sort of a late bloomer in that area," "But she's got this whole circle of lesbian friends, you know?" "It's just like-- like this subculture." "And, uh, I'm always just..." "I'm always just a little bit left out," "Just a little bit talked down to" "Because I have a long history of enjoying sex with men," "Which I don't think is something I have to apologize for." "Whatever." "I'm just-- she's just-- she's..." "She's just better." "So you want me to give ortho $1 million" "To level the playing field in your relationship?" "Also for the xenografting," "Which, as I mentioned, is..." "The future of sports medicine." "Can I ask you something?" "Hmm." "Are you one of those, uh," "You know, what do you call 'em?" "When someone's really smart, like a genius," "But they're a little different," "Like they don't know how to talk to people?" "Are you asking me if I'm autistic?" "That's the word." "oh, come on." "You barely said three words all day." "don't be offended." "You're a tough nut to crack." "I like that about you." "My daughter's the same way." "Were you able to make contact with her?" "Oh, yeah." "She's not coming." "I'm not all that surprised." "You know, messy divorce." "She sided with her mom." "I mean, I hate it, but I get it." "Life goes on." "So it's just you and me, sourpuss." "Dr. Yang, the, uh, panel is gathering now." "Yeah, I'll be right there." "Hold on one second." "Hold on." "Hold on." "Here you go." "Thank you." "This is gonna go my way, right?" "I mean, they just don't send people home to die?" "I want to live." "We'll let you know." "Is there anything I can do or" "I don't know, avery." "Is there anything you can do?" "Thank you." "Doctor." "Where are you?" "Uh, we're having a problem." "I'm fixing it now." "Okay, I've got a post-op ortho patient" "On d.V.T. Prophylaxis with a subdural hematoma." "Derek, she's got a blown pupil." "I'm not gonna be there for a while," "So you gotta take care of it yourself." "What?" "You wanted a solo surgery today." "Now's your chance." "Take point." "I need loops and a headlight." "Here you go, doctor." "Okay, scalpel." "*" "If I root against him, does that make me a bad guy?" "The patient's a child, mark." "All right, karev, you got this." "If you don't, we're right here." "All right, people, here we go. 10-blade." "*..." "Hearts * * some with wings and some with scars * * there's an angst deriding good cheer * * like a relic pulled from grasp *" "* in the city, there's a great outcry * * oh, the fire!" "* * oh, the fire!" "* * in the city there's a great laughter * * heard from canyons over plains * * could it be * * that we've been this way too long * * too long?" "* * could it be * * that we've been this way too long * * too long?" "* * look alive, look alive * * there's something in the... * * world for you * * look alive, look alive * * there's something in the... * * day for you *" "* look alive, look alive * * there's someone in this... * * world for you *" "* look alive, look alive * * there's something in the... * * day for you * * look alive *" "Okay." "You're letting kepner lead the transplant panel?" "Well, yang's been useless." "She's no better than an intern." "*..." "For you * * look alive, look alive *" "Did you just stop that bleeder?" "Uh-huh." "How did you even know to do that?" "Okay." "Sorry I'm late." "That's okay." "Lexie made a good call." "I've got it under control." "What do we got?" "Let me finish, derek." "I got this." "* look alive, look alive * * there's something in this..." "Day for you *" "Yes, you do." "I'm gonna find a cure for alzheimer's." "The cure for alzheimer's..." "With $1 million?" "With $1 million." "It's a start." "You're talking about a clinical trial," "A clinical-surgical trial?" "Yes." "Start-up costs alone, never mind the f.D.A., derek, it's" "Today I watched meredith perform" "An emergency craniotomy by herself." "She was perfect." "She's got her mother's talent." "She's got her mother's looks, richard." "What if she has her mother's disease?" "Ellis was young when it started." "Every time meredith forgets her keys" "Or asks what day of the week it is, I..." "When that $1 million runs out," "Investors are gonna throw money my way" "For the same reason I am gonna throw" "Everything I got at this trial, because their dad has it," "Or their wife." "Breakthroughs don't happen because of the medicine." "Real breakthroughs happen" "Because someone is scared to death" "To stop trying." "They're gone?" "Well, there's some swelling," "But that should go down with some time." "I don't have boobs." "I" " I don't have boobs?" "You don't have boobs." "mom." "She was scared." "Now she's just happy you're okay." "You're the man." "No, you're the man." "Roy henley has end-stage pulmonary hypertension." "He has reached the point of no return," "And at this point, nothing short of a lung transplant" "Will save him." "Unfortunately..." "Unfortunately, his cultures" "Revealed that he has fungal pneumonia," "His liver enzymes are worrisome," "And on top of everything else," "His creatinine clearance is only 75," "Which means that he is on his way to kidney failure." "The immunosuppressants after surgery" "Could very likely kill him," "And so..." "With regret, I conclude that he does not belong" "On the waiting list." "Dr. Kepner, if you don't believe he's a candidate," "Why in the world would you convene a panel today?" "That is..." "A very good question, chief." "I did think that he was a candidate" "Earlier in the day," "But the longer I looked at his criteria," "The more glaring it became." "It became glaring the more you looked at it?" "Well..." "Also, um, n-new facts came to light." "Um..." "The patient has no support system." "Uh, no one to take him for post-op visits," "Or make sure that he complies with his meds." "Ear-earlier in the day, he said he had a daughter," "But later it came out that they're estranged." "that's not a reason." "Dr. Yang..." "Do you have something to add?" "no." "You don't believe that having a support system in place" "Is an important factor in this decision?" "It's one factor." "But this guy is borderline, I mean, that's why we're here." "We could talk about his criteria all day." "I mean, his creatinine clearance is low but not critical," "And his-- his" "His fungal pneumonia is bad but treatable." "I mean, he's borderline." "But I've been involved in 27 transplant surgeries," "And every time," "The patient's will to fight is just as telling," "And roy has it." "If we give him the lungs, it won't be a waste, 'cause he will live." "I know it." "dr." "Brooks to oncology." "Dr. Brooks to oncology." "So how am I..." "What am I supposed to say to her?" "That I botched the insertion and-- and then, uh," "I punctured the vessel, or maybe that an error was made," "Or-- you don't tell her anything." "You made a mistake." "It happens all the time." "I had to yell at you because that's my job." "My job now is to-- our job now is to go in there" "With smiles on our faces and tell her" "The surgery was a success, because it was." "Hey." "How are we?" "There they are, our heroes." "The ringing stopped." "it stopped." "That's fantastic news." "And the kid did good, right?" "The kid did good." "I'm kissing you now, 'cause I was wrong." "But in this moment, I am in love with you." "Mwah. oh, thank you." "Mm." "we were supposed to be a team today." "And then you just turned on me?" "I didn't plan it." "I'm not used to failing." "Neither am I." "Okay?" "All right." "I know you think recommending him" "Was the wrong decision." "I'm sorry, but I just..." "Didn't agree." "Cristina, in a case like this," "The right decision..." "Is making a decision." "That's what we do." "That's the job." "You formed an opinion and you argued for it." "And you weren't alone." "The panel voted to put him on the list." "Congratulations." "You were a doctor today." "All right." "Talk to me." "Um, there is a broken c.T. Machine in the basement," "Next to it is a broken argon laser" "And a broken fluoroscope." "I think $1 million would repair all 3 of them." "And there might even be enough money left over" "To put a new nurse on the night shift," "Which is what our patients really need." "That's it?" "That's what you got for me?" "That's your best idea?" "This assignment couldn't have been clearer" "Inspiration, good, old-fashioned competition." "Not you coming in here" "Telling me I need to fix what's old and broken." "Um, I would love to go to paris," "But you don't see me sitting around" "Planning my parisian vacation." "It sounds nice, but I am a mother," "And what I really need to do" "Is get my kid to preschool, get the laundry done," "Put food on the table." "All right, I can do a big tap dance here" "About how I'm gonna change the face of medicine" "With $1 million," "But come on, you can't do anything with $1 million." "$1 million is nothing." "That's a dream." "This is real life." "Preschool, laundry, food" "I'm realistic." "Change the face of medicine..." "We need to fix the medicine that we already have." "We need a new night nurse." "We need these broken machines repaired." "Let's not go to paris." "Let's go to the grocery store, chief." "And while we're being honest," "Why are you wasting our time with this exercise anyway" "When you and I both know you don't have $1 million?" "Well, things may be a little different around here" "In the next few weeks." "*" "Look at that." "Now I can't call you sourpuss anymore." "Give me your arm, roy." "I have to draw some blood." "We all want to grow up." "We're desperate to get there," "To grab all the opportunities we can..." "To live." "*" "We're so busy trying to get out of that nest..." "* * tell me, have I lost... *" "We don't think about the fact" "That it's going to be cold out there... * the trains are ringing in the yard again *" "Really freakin' cold." "Thank you, sir." "Congratulations." "Good job." "*" "Because growing up" "Sometimes means leaving people behind." "*" "Congratulations, doctor." "Thanks." "*" "Oh, damn it." "Where are my keys?" "They're in your hand." "Oh." "And by the time we stand on our own two feet..." "We're standing there alone." "*"