"Get yourself set for a red letter day" "The showboat's comin'to town" "It isn't here yet but it's headin'our way" "The showboat's comin'to town" "It's rollin'down the river Rollin'down the river" "Rollin'down the river road" "Banjos are a-strumming 'cause the showboat is comin'" "Rollin'down the river road" "Hello, Captain Sam." "Welcome to Ironville." "Howdy, Henry." "That little Susie?" "Had to carry her on board last time we played Ironville." "Wait till you see my little gal." "And now I want you to meet a new member of our company." "The greatest actor on the river and our new leading man for the season," "Mr. Dexter Broadhurst!" "Sebastian.!" "I rolled over." "Well, here's the packet office." "Be on the next boat out of town." "Thank you for your generous hospitality, Sheriff." "Just miss that river packet, and I'll give you a taste of my hospitality... in the cooler." "Our leading lady, Miss CarolineJackson, will now sing "On a Sunday Afternoon. "" "On a Sunday afternoon" "In the merry month ofJune" "Take a trip up the Hudson or down the Bay" "Take a trolley to Coney or Rockaway" "On a Sunday afternoon" "You can see the lovers spoon" "They work hard on Monday but one day that's fun day" "Is Sunday after..." "Stop that singing!" "Get off this street." "Go back to the river where you belong." "You're ruining'my business." "Hey, you can't talk to Miss Caroline like that." "Who says I can't?" "I don't want any trouble from you, shorty!" "Yes, sir." "I'm sorry, sir." "Now, don't bother the young lady while she's singing." "Now listen, this is none of your..." "It's none of my business." "You tell him." "Now, Miss, will you please continue?" "On a Sunday afternoon" "You can see the lovers spoon" "They work hard on Monday but one day that's fun day" "Is Sunday afternoon" "Save it!" "That's only a sample of what you're going to see tonight." "Captain Sam always gives you the cleanest, finest entertainment on the river." "Bring the children." "Curtain goes up at 8:00." "We can kill time on the showboat until the packet leaves." "Yes, we don't want to miss that packet." "I've kept us two jumps ahead of the sheriff so far." "Barely one jump ahead this time." "Probably a tank town show." "Better than waiting here." "Yeah, that's right." "Nell!" "Bill!" "Oh, Nell, I have some good news for you, Nell." "Mr. Singleton is going to buy my invention." "Hark.!" "'Tis the train rounding the bend." "Oh, sweetheart, after I've sold this invention, you will have silks and satins, you'll have riches, you'll have servants and a home fit for a king." "Oh, Bill, I only want you." "That is riches enough for me." "'Tis the hoofbeats of my trusty steed, bringing Mr. Singleton to me." "Bill, I'll leave you two men to talk of business." "I must rush and tell Mother the good news." "But I shall return." "Bye-bye, dear." "Ah, me lad, I've come to invite you to the city... where I can introduce to you the delights of civilization." "No, Mr. Singleton." "No, no, no." "I'm a native of these parts, and I belong here... with my friends, in my mill." "Ah, this is my life." "This, uh..." "This, uh..." "Will you get out of here?" "There's a play going on." "Get out!" "Out!" "Uh, Mr. Singleton..." "Will you get out?" "Out." "Yes." "Mr. Singleton, I..." "I..." "Uh, Mr. Singleton..." "I..." "Whoo!" "As I said before, no, no, Mr. Singleton." "I'm a native of these parts." "I belong here with my friends." "What have you got to make you happy around these parts?" "What have I got?" "Why, here she comes now, tripping over the threshold like a little ray of sunshine." "Nell, I want you to meet Mr. Singleton." "He's taking my invention to New York with him." "As I said before..." "Quiet!" "Quiet." "Uh, quiet." "Uh, Mr. Singleton..." "Will you shut up?" "Will you please shut up, Mr. Singleton?" "Will you keep quiet?" "Mr. Singleton, I said..." "Come in." "Mr. Singleton..." "I'll shoot you." "I'll shoot you, Mr. Singleton, so help..." "Will you please get out of here?" "Mr. Singleton..." "Psst." "Psst." "Mr. Singleton..." "Yes, yes, yes." "I know!" "The baby." "The baby." "Go ahead." "Go ahead!" "Mr. Singleton..." "Ladies, will you please keep your babies quiet?" "Shhh." "Shhh." "Shhh." "Have a drink of milk, kid." "Oh, not out of the bottle." "Not out of the bottle?" "Uh, Nell, I want you to meet Mr. Singleton." "Shhh." "He's taking my invention to New York." "Mr. Singleton..." " Mr. Singleton..." " Hat pin." "Mr. Singleton..." "Mr. Singleton..." "Here, here." "Look at the tears on those little babies." "Don't cry, because I get sad." "Ladies, you'll have to keep those babies quiet." "Imagine what we could do with a showboat like this." "It would be a gold mine." "The yokels would come on board to see the show." "And we could give them five-card stud in the afterpiece." "Don't forget the dice game." "Don't forget the sheriff." "If the sheriff comes, we sail the whole kit and caboodle into the next county." "Hold it." "Here comes the temporary owner of the showboat." "Pardon me, folks." "I couldn't help seeing you gettin' up and leaving." "I guess you're strangers." "Hate to think you didn't like the show." "Oh, but we loved the show." "We're leaving because we have to catch the packet for St. Louis." "Oh, that old packet won't leave for an hour." "Come on back with me." "You've time to see the olio." "Well, Crawford, get yourself measured for sea togs now." "You ever get to St. Louis, Captain?" "Oh, sure." "We're closing the River Queen end of this week and coming to St. Louis for supplies." "Expect to be in the big city a week or so." "I may remain in St. Louis for some time." "I'd consider it an honor if you'd call on me." "Why, Miss Farrel, I'd be delighted." "Would you?" "Well, I'm giving a party at the Gilded Cage Cafe." "Would it be too forward of me to invite you?" "Just say the night, ma'am." "What night will you arrive?" "Monday night." "Monday!" "What a coincidence!" "My party was all set for next Monday." "Oh, aren't we lucky?" "Captain Jackson will arrive in St. Louis next Monday... just in time for our party at the Gilded Cage Cafe." "Fine." "We'll try to make it interesting for him." "Yes, like going over Niagara Falls in a barrel." "Good night, Captain Jackson." "Good night, ma'am." "Until next Monday, then?" "Until next Monday." "See you at the Gilded Cage." "The Gilded Cage." "I'd leave my 'appy 'ome for you" "You're the nicest man I ever knew" "If you take me andjust break me in the business too" "Ooh, I'd leave my 'appy 'ome for you, you, you, you" "I'd leave my 'appy 'ome for you, oo-ooh" "We never have anything like this on the River Queen." "Huh." "Well, here we are." "Now, listen." "See this?" "A little advance I borrowed off of Captain Sam." "Hold that." "Now we're going in here, put on the dog." "You know, do as I do." "Come, m'lad." "That's a boy." "It's quite all right." "I'll be right back." "Uh-uh-uh-uh." "You didn't say excuse me." "I beg your pardon." "That's just as good." "Bah!" "Come, let us check our wraps." "Here, here, here." "Oh, you kid." "You tell 'em, upholstery." "You've got the stuff." "You tell 'em, ammonia." "You've got the spirit." "Come." "Those two monkeys from the showboat want to see Captain Jackson." "We've got to keep them out of the gambling room." "You take care of that ham actor, and I'll have some fun with the fat one." "These gentlemen would like to see Captain Sam Jackson." "Well, you see if he's here." "We'll entertain the gentlemen." "Of course." "Come, my little man." "It's awfully dark in here." "Oh, excuse me." "Thank you." "Uh-oh." "Thank you." "Well, well!" "Oh!" "Come on!" "Nothin' helps." "That got it." "It's rather late for you to be out, isn't it?" "No, I don't think so." "One day last week I was out till 9:00." "Really?" "Drinkin' too." "Oh." "Drinkin' good!" "I had three soda pops." "Boy, was I woozy!" "Good too." "I'll never forget..." "Your wine, sir." "Oh, the wine!" "Thank you." "I'll..." "Wine!" "I don't drink wine." "It's just soda pop with more bubbles." "Oh, that's different." "If that's the case, then I will pay for this." "Compliments of the manager." "All right." "Lovely show." "Wonderful show." "I never saw a show like this before in my life." "I think I'm gettin' a Mickey." "Cheers!" "Yes, ma'am." "Ohhh." "Well..." "Oh, just a minute, please." "Hello!" "Steve, old boy!" "Mildred!" "Hello." "Drink up." "Got it again." "Drink up." "Thank you." "Oh, Steve!" "Steve, old boy!" "Tell me, how's everything at the stockyard?" "Ah." "Winifred!" "How's your mother?" "Well..." "Your health." "Oh, Steve, old boy!" "How is your father?" "Well..." "Oh." "Well..." "Gettin' awful tired." "Sleepy?" "Very sleepy." "I..." "Mmm." "It's-It's..." "Yes, you look tired." "You look tired." "There, there." "Oh." "Oh, excuse me." "I-I must've dazed off." "Sonny, you should be careful coming to places like this." "You might get your pockets picked." "Here's your watch." "Oh, shame on you!" "Just a minute." "Here's your diamond pin." "Oh, thanks for the showboat passes, Mr. Broadhurst." "And the gambling room is right over there." "Thank you." "Sorry, mister, but nobody gets in here unless we know him." "Mr. Broadhurst, this place is all full of crooks." "Oh, never mind that." "Captain Sam is in that room, and we can't get in unless somebody knows us." "I'll get us in." "My friend, what is the idea of you coming out here and leaving us on the inside?" "Did I do that?" "You certainly did." "Then, come with me." "I'll go back in and get you." "Number 21." "Now, you stay here till I find where I left you." "Hey, there's Captain Sam over there." "Beats me." "I'll raise a hundred." "Here's your hundred." "That's your hundred." "I'll raise you a hundred." "Captain Sam, you ought to be ashamed of yourself." "You promised never to gamble again!" "Don't bother me." "Havin' a fine time." "Good friends..." "Miss Bonita and Mr. Crawford." "Go away, go away, go away." "You gentlemen might enjoy a little roulette." "This way, please." "Oh, put your arm down." "I think I'll take a fling at this thing." "Where's the money?" "My money, yes." "I got it right here." "Get it out." "Is it all there?" "I saved every bit of it." "Tens, twenties, yes." "Some fifties." "Several fifties, yes." "Fifty, fifty, fifty." "Twenty, twenty, ten, ten." "What was that?" "Somebody put a buck in there." "Give it to me." "Let's get..." "No, I said all of it." "Oh, excuse me." "That's the idea." "No, no, no, no." "Give me the bill." "That's the idea." "I..." "Give me that bill." "Put it in my hand like that and leave it there." "Okay." "That's better." "Now we..." "Pew, stop." "Pew." "Now, it don't look nice chewing gum in that suit." "I'm chewing it in my mouth." "Well, skip it." "Here, buy us some chips." "Okay." "Mister, we would like to get some..." "There you are." "That's quick service." "Here." "Here's some chips for you to play with." "And take it easy!" "I'll tell you what, you play the same numbers I play." "I'll play number 20, and you play 20 too." "How can you do that?" "Why not?" "We're gonna play the same number?" "Same number." "You want me to play 22." "No, no." "I'm gonna play 20." "You play 20 too." "That's two different numbers." "Let's play the same number." "Let's play 30." "All right." "You play 30, and I'll play 30 too." "Okay." "No, no, no!" "Well, what do you want to do?" "Let's play the same number." "You can't play 32 and me..." "What do you want to do?" "Let's both play 33." "All right, here." "Put it on 33." "On 33. 33." "There it is." "Number 33." "What are you doing?" "Up on the board!" "Here's 33." " Over there." " Hm-hmm." "On the board!" "What are you doing?" "Thirty-three." "Come on, get down." "See here." "See?" "Come here, come here." " Hey.!" " Oh!" "Thirty-three!" "Win.!" "win.!" "Twenty-six black the winner." "The house wins." "Get your bets down." "Hey, wait a minute!" "What kind of a ball is that?" "It's got the hiccups." "Hiccups?" "It's..." "It was in thirty..." "Get your bets down, ladies and gentlemen." "Come on, we're playing 33 again." "Thirty-three!" "We win!" "Wait." "Thirteen black the winner." "Nobody on it." "The house wins." "Get your bets down, ladies and gentlemen." "Uh, mister, we wanna play 33 just once more." "This time you're gonna get stuck." "Thirty-three." "Whoo." " Thirty-three.!" "We win.!" " We win." "We win." "Thirty-three." "Good-bye." "Good-bye." "Captain Sam, I think this place is crooked." "Let's get out of here." "That's right." "I'll show you to the door." "Here we go again." "Open the door." "I hope that's the end of that." "I didn't even get hurt." "Get out ofhere.!" "Good evening, gentlemen." "Give me that money." "Now, we've gotta find some way of getting back in there... and get Captain Sam out." "Wait a minute." "I've got an idea." "If we could scare everybody out of that gambling room, we could save Captain Sam." "Come on." "I'll put the bearskin on." "You go into the gambling room... and tell everybody to run for their lives, the bear is loose." "Then I'll come in and scare 'em all out." "Okay." "I gotta keep playing." "It's gettin' awful fuzzy..." "I can't see the cards very good." "Hmm?" "Hey, everybody!" "Run for the hills!" "The bear is loose!" "Come on!" "Everything's all right, ladies and gentlemen." "Just keep on playing." "Get your bets down." "Did you people hear what I said?" "The bear's loose.!" "Run for the hills.!" "Mr. Broadhurst, I thought you would never get here." "Go ahead, scare 'em." "Ah-ha!" "Mr. Broadhurst, you look like a real bear." "Oh, you even smell like a real bear." "Come on." "Cut it out." "Don't..." "Mr. Broadhurst, I don't want any more of that." "Cut it out." "Mr. Broadhurst, I don't want you playin' around like that." "Look, Mr. Broadhurst..." "Look, you forgot to brush your teeth this morning!" "Don't talk to me like a bear." "Talk real English." "Let me take the head off you now, Mr. Broadhurst." "Let me take..." "Mr. Broadhurst!" "That's..." "Don't!" "You're tickling me!" "Now let me get the head off." "Where's the head?" "Take it easy." "Hiya, Dexter." "What are you doing?" "What am I doing?" "I'm trying to take the skin off you." "He never got me." "There you are." "Now get back on those lines." "Let's raise this drop." "Okay, Mr. Broadhurst." "That's swell." "I..." "Now wait a minute." "What are you going to do?" "What're you doing out here?" "Mr. Broadhurst, Captain Sam said that if I could learn this song, he might let me sing in his show." "And that if I can act good enough, he'd give me a chance in Uncle Tom's Cabin." "All right." "But don't bother me, please." "Okay, Mr. Broadhurst." "All right." "My Bonnie lies over the ocean" "Try it to the left." "Yes, sir." "My Bonnie lies over..." "Try it to the right." "Yes, sir." "My Bonnie lies over..." "And lower it a little." "My Bonnie lies over..." "Lower." "My Bonnie lies over..." "Still not low enough." "My Bonnie..." "Uh, get low enough to touch the floor." "No." "My Bonnie..." "No, no, no, no." "You better try it a little higher." "Go ahead." "My Bonnie..." "Higher." "My Bonnie lies..." "Higher.!" "My Bonnie..." "Higher." "My Bonnie lies over..." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "Lift up the right leg." "That's it." "My Bonnie..." "Now lift up the left leg." "My Bonnie..." "Now pull up both legs." "My Bonnie..." "Uh, bring it forward a little." "Forward a little more." "My Bonnie lies..." "Can you go forward one more foot?" "Yes, sir." "My Bo..." "Can I come?" "All right, bud." "Come along." "Children are always welcome." "You wait here a minute, dear." "I'll be back soon." "Why, Captain Jackson, how nice." "I do believe you've come to welcome us." "What are you doing here, Miss Farrel?" "Don't you remember?" "We're your partners." "What are you talking about?" "Partners in what?" "We're partners in the River Queen, miss." "We own three-quarters of your showboat." "That's impossible." "Have you forgotten?" "You signed notes for $15,000." "You were cutting up your boat into small pieces, and gambling it away bit by bit." "Hey." "Hey, Sebastian, come here." "There's those St. Louis gamblers." "Captain Sam must be in trouble." "And it's up to you to keep them off the boat." "St. Louis gamblers, huh?" "There they are." "They may be tough on their own territory." "But they're on my territory now." "I'm a pretty tough fellow." "Now, don't..." "I'm a bad hombre." "I know, but take it easy with 'em." "I'm gonna help Captain Sam." "That a boy." "'Cause I'm true blue." "That a boy." "I'm afraid of nobody." "I know, but take it easy." "Don't get excited!" "It's dead." "Captain, we'll make a very reasonable business arrangement." "The River Queen wouldn't be the same without Captain Jackson." "We won't make any changes." "Except to add a couple of rooms where your customers can gamble, if they insist." "I can't let you run your crooked gambling on my showboat." "I've operated honestly, given good, clean shows for 20 years." "Don't get excited." "All you have to do is pay us $ 15,000, and then we'll leave." "Meanwhile, we'll disturb you as little as possible." "Well, if we're all going to be shipmates, let's enjoy it." "See you on board." "Please, you can't take over our showboat." "The River Queen isn't just a piece of property to be won or lost." "It's unfortunate, but it's the luck of the cards." "We'll pay you back everything Captain Sam owes." "With interest." "We'll send it to you in St. Louis." "I'm sorry, Miss Jackson, but I don't think Miss Farrel would be swayed by sentiment." "But couldn't you do something?" "Why should I?" "Hold it right there, and listen to what I got to say." "He who harms a board on this old deck, dies like a dog." "And pass the word along!" "Ha-ha!" " You're talkin' to Dead-Eye Sebastian." "You see those chicken hawks up there?" "Watch this, brother." "Ew!" "Right between the eyes." "Wait till you see this next shot." "This one will be a lulu." "Two shots." "Three birds." "Here we go again." "You missed." "Went around a corner after that one." "Watch this." "Scared the feathers off of that one, didn't I?" "Now listen, I've had enough out of you two." "Now get off the boat, because the boat ain't big enough for the two of us!" "Well?" "So I'll get off." "Come here!" "From now on, keep outta my way!" "Why, you!" "If I had my guns here..." "I've been robbed." "I know I..." "Oh." "Why, you..." "Let me tell you somethin'." "If I only had more bullets in these guns, I'd scare the pants right off him." "I made a fine mess of things." "And the worst part of it is... my friends have to pay for my folly." "Look at 'em come, laughing and happy that the River Queen's in town." "They're walking right into a trap." "Isn't there some way we can warn them?" "No." "Miss Farrel would take over the River Queen and operate it herself." "We're not licked." "As long as we own a part of the boat, we've got a good chance to get them out." "Nora Malone, call me by phone Number 1234-Main" "Don't forget the number while you slumber" "Open your eyes, when you arise you'll hear the blarney" "Of your Barney Carney from Killarney" "Colleens are few There's none like you" "In the old town of Athone Musha, wurra, wurra, wurra" "Old Erin's isle could not make me smile" "Without Nora Malone" "Mr. Sebastian, would you hand me one of those pot holders, please, sir?" "Okay." "Here you are, Sam." "This one broke open." "The feathers is comin' out." "I'll get you another one." "Yes, sir." "Put it right here." "Pick it up, pick it up!" "That's hot!" "Excuse me, sir." "Burny, burny." "Ever since them gamblers took over the River Queen, we ain't been doin' nothin' but serving 'em drinks... and then serving 'em coffee to sober 'em up." "Mr. Sebastian, you better hurry up with that cake... 'cause they'll be callin' for it 'most any time now." "Right." "Right." "Ooh!" "Twenty past!" "I'm gonna get late." "Shh." "Shhhh!" "Coffee, gentlemen?" "Have some." "I baked it myself with my own little white hands." "Come on." "We're making a new deal this time, fellows." "Let's play it." "Good." "All set." "Coming up for a new deal this time." "This they gotta like." "Made it myself." " Shoot five!" " Faded!" "What are you crying about?" "I'm not crying." "It's a gala night." "People in the gambling room are having a wonderful time." "They look the same when they've been drinking too much." "Only tomorrow morning, they'll have much worse than a headache." "Nobody asks them to gamble." "We just set up the tables, and they fight for seats." "They crowd in to give us their money." "Because they think anything about the River Queen is fair and honest." "Even gambling." "I think the three of you are nothing but river rats." "Take me out to the ball game" "Take me out with the crowds" "Buy me some peanuts..." "Peanuts!" "Popcorn!" "Peanuts!" "Popcorn!" "CrackerJacks!" "CrackerJacks!" "Get your packages of crackerjacks here!" "CrackerJacks!" "Will you keep quiet, Sebastian!" "Excuse me, please." "Sebastian, please, don't interrupt my act." "Sebastian!" "I didn't see the lights." "I forgot about 'em." "What are you doing?" "Why interrupt my act?" "Look, Mr. Broadhurst, if you're in a ball park, they always sell peanuts and popcorn." "I know that, but not in front of..." "I beg your pardon, please." "Ladies and gentlemen, will you excuse me for a minute, please?" "What do you wanna do?" "Look, Mr. Broadhurst..." "What are you doing?" "I love baseball." "We all love baseball." "Will you tell me the guys' names on the team... so when I see them in that St. Louis ball park, I'll know those fellows?" "Well, now..." "Is it all right, folks?" "All right." "I wanna find out the fellows' names." "As long as it's okay..." "I'm crazy about baseball." "Will you stand still?" "Go pick up your hat!" "Then you'll go peddle your popcorn and don't interrupt the act anymore?" "Yes, sir." "Strange as it may seem, they give ballplayers peculiar names." "Funny names?" "Nicknames." "Pet names." "Not as funny as my name..." "Sebastian Dinwiddle." "Oh, yes, yes, yes." "Funnier than that?" "Whoo!" "Oh, absolutely, yes." "Now, on the St. Louis team, we have Who's on first," "What's on second, I Don't Know's on third..." "I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team." "Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third..." "You know the fellows' names?" "Yes." "Well then, who's playing first?" "Yes." "Who." "The fellow playing first base." "Who!" "The guy on first base." "Who is on first." "Well, what are you askin' me for?" "I'm telling you." "Who is on first!" "I'm askin' you who's on first." "That's the man's name." "That's whose name?" "Go ahead and tell me." "Yes." "Who." "The guy on first." "The first baseman." "Who!" "Who is on first!" "Have you got a first baseman?" "Certainly." "Then who's playing first?" "Absolutely." "When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?" "Every dollar of it." "And why not?" "The man's entitled to it." "Who is?" "Yes." "So who gets it?" "Why shouldn't he?" "Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it." "Whose wife?" "Yes." "Whoo!" "After all, the man earns it." "Who does?" "Absolutely." "All I'm tryin' to find out is, what's the guy's name on first base?" "No." "What is on second base." "I'm not askin' you who's on second." "Who's on first." "That's what I'm tryin' to find out." "Don't change the players around." "I'm not changin' nobody." "What's the guy's name?" "What's the guy's name on second base." "I'm not askin' you who's on second." "Who's on first." "I don't know." "He's on third." "We're not talking about him." "How did I get on third base?" "You mentioned his name." "If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who is playing third?" "No, Who's playing first." "Stay off of first, will you?" "What do you want me to do?" "What's the guy's name on third base?" "What's on second." "Who's on first." "I don't know." "He's on third." "There I go, back on third again." "Well, I can't change their names." "Will you please stay on third base, Mr. Broadhurst?" "Please, now what is it you want to know?" "What is the fellow's name on third base?" "What is on second base." "I'm not askin' you who's on second." "Who's on first." "I don't know." "Third base." "Whoo!" "Third base." "You got a outfield?" "Oh, sure." "St. Louis has got a good outfield?" "Absolutely." "The left fielder's name?" "Why." "I don't know." "I just thought I'd ask." "Well, I just thought I'd tell you." "Who's playing left field?" "Who is playing first." "Stay out of the infield!" "Don't mention any names." "What's the fellow's name on left field?" "What is on second." "I'm not askin' you who's on second." "Who is on first." "I don't know." "Third base." "Third base." "Take it easy, man." "And the left fielder's name?" "Why." "Because." "Oh, he's center field." "Pick up your hat, please." "Pick up your hat and stop this..." "Mr. Broadhurst." "Yes?" "You got a pitcher?" "Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher?" "I don't know." "Tell me the pitcher's name." "Tomorrow." "You don't wanna tell me today?" "I'm tellin' you." "Tomorrow." "What time?" "What time what?" "What time are you gonna tell me who's pitching?" "Who is not pitching." "Who is on..." "I'll break your arm if you say who's on first!" "Then why did you ask me?" "I wanna know what's the pitcher's name!" "What's on second." "I don't know." "Third base." "You got a catcher?" "Yes." "The catcher's name?" "Today." "And Tomorrow's pitching." "Now you've got it." "St. Louis has got a couple of days on the team." "Well, I can't help that." "All right." "What do you want me to do?" "Got a catcher?" "Yes." "I'm a good catcher too, you know?" "I know that." "I would like to play for the St. Louis team." "I might arrange that." "I would like to catch." "I'm being a good catcher." "Tomorrow's pitching, and I'm catching." "Yes." "Tomorrow throws the ball, and the guy up bunts." "Yes." "When he bunts the ball, me being a good catcher," "I wanna throw the guy out on first base." "So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?" "That's the first thing you've said right." "I don't even know what I'm talkin' about!" "That's all you have to do." "Throw it to first base?" "Yes." "Now, who's got it?" "Naturally." "Who has it?" "Naturally." "Naturally?" "Naturally." "Okay." "Now you've got it." "I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally." "No, to first base." "Then who gets it?" "Naturally." "Okay." "All right." "I throw the ball to Naturally." "You throw it to Who!" "Naturally." "Well, that's it." "Say it that way." "That's what I said." "You did not." "I said I throw the ball to Naturally." "You throw it to Who!" "Naturally." "Yes." "So I throw the ball to first base, and Naturally gets it." "No, you throw the ball to first base!" "Then who gets it?" "Naturally!" "That's what I'm saying!" "You're not saying that." "I'm sorry, friends." "Excuse me, folks." "I throw the ball to Naturally!" "You throw it to Who!" "Naturally!" "Well, say it that way." "That's what I'm saying!" "Don't get excited." "I throw the ball to first base..." "Then Who gets it." "He better get it!" "All right." "Now, don't get excited." "Hmm." "I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is grabs the ball so the guy runs to second." "Who picks up the ball and throws it to What." "What throws it to I Don't Know." "I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow." "A triple play." "Yeah, it could be." "Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because." "Why?" "I don't know." "He's on third, and I don't care!" "What was that?" "I said, I don't care!" "Oh, that's our shortstop." "Three nines." "Kings full." "Nobody could win that often without cheatin'." "That's the last straw." "I had to stand by and watch you put gambling on my showboat." "Then it was cheating." "Now it's gunplay." "This isn't a boomtown barroom." "It's the River Queen." "It's just a scratch, boys." "Go on with your games." "Let me by with this load of catfish." "Not unless I gets my share of them cats." "Move out o' the way, sister." "Mr. Sebastian is calling for food." "That Miss Farrel's cook Effie is hogging up the pantry." "But I'll get you some chopped meat." "Get outta my kitchen, you ornery cat, or I'll chop you to cat burgers." "Hey!" "Did you hear what he said?" "He's gonna make cat croquettes." "Oh." "Where are you going?" "Sit down!" "Gotta eat something." "Yeah, but not anything." "Will you sit down?" "Scat outta here!" "Scat!" "Scat!" "Scat!" "You take care of that cat, and I'll take care of this catfish." "Scat outta here, I tell you!" "Sure is wonderful cat." "I'm gonna eat some of that." "You gonna eat a whole cat?" "Mr. Broadhurst, let's get out of here." "Nonsense." "You can't walk out... when the man is cooking something special for you." "Take it easy, take it easy." "What are you excited about?" "You'll enjoy it." "I thought you said you were hungry." "Yeah, but I'm not that hungry." "Oh, sit down." "Those poor kittens." "Why worry about them?" "Yes, sir." "Fast." "Yes, sir." "I gives good service, sir." "Mm-hmm." "Here's your bread, and here's your chopped meat." "Mmm, smells good!" "Sure is." "It's the cats." "What are you doing?" "What's the matter with you?" "All right, take it easy." "Take it easy." "Boy, they look delicious." "Go ahead, help yourself." "Here's your milk, gentlemen." "Thank you." "Go ahead and eat!" "Do I have to?" "Well, certainly." "What do you think they're there for?" "Are you gonna like yours?" "Well, look at 'em." "They're delicious." "They were cute." "What's the matter?" "Did you hear anything?" "Certainly not." "Nothing at all?" "You want some catsup?" "Catsup." "Catsup." "Take that out of your mouth." "You don't eat that!" "What do you think they're there for?" "Now go ahead and eat." "What are you doing?" "Nice pussy cat." "What's the matter?" "What's wrong with you?" "Well, keep quiet and eat your meal." "Look, you haven't touched them at all." "There's nothing wrong with that meat." "Look." "Wonderful meat." "Now go ahead, dig in." "What's the matter?" "It's delicious." "That's right." "Will you stop that?" "What are you..." "Now just..." "Wait a minute." "I didn't mind you playing show with your silly Mississippi melodramas, as long as you didn't interfere with me." "I won't stand by and watch you turn the River Queen into a Barbary Coast den." "You haven't seen anything yet, Captain." "I'm taking over this boat from stem to stern." "I'm making a lot of changes." "If you want to stay aboard..." "you and your whole crew... just do as you're told, otherwise get out." "As soon as we pay off those notes, we'll throw you off." "Sure you will, honey." "But in the meantime, stick to your play acting." "I'm busy." "Let's get out of here, Caroline." "You know, Sebastian, if we had $15,000, we could pay off those crooked gamblers." "Mr. Broadhurst." "What?" "Maybe you don't know this, but they are playing for keeps." "Well, certainly." "I know that." "What are you using for bait?" "Apple." "You're supposed to use a worm." "The worm is in the apple." "Go ahead." "I'll show you some fancy fishing'." "Can't catch anything with that." "Oh, yes, you can." "Ahh." "What'd you get?" "You get one?" "Well, bring him in." "Don't be afraid of it." "It's my fish, ain't it?" "All right, go ahead." "Why are you tellin' me to bring him in?" "Don't get tangled up in my line." "Go ahead, break the boat." "Go ahead." "Bring him in." "Let me see him." "Oh, boy, is that a dandy." "Take it easy now." "That a boy." "Yeah." "All right, that's number one." "I'm gonna throw this one over and use it for bait and catch bigger fish." "Are you crazy?" "No." "That's a big fish." "Don't throw it over." "Aw, look at you." "Man, you are crazy." "Who's crazy?" "Throwing a big fish..." "What've we got?" "Get ahold of him." "All right." "Get ahold of him." "Let me see it." "What in the world have you got on the end..." "You've got the anchor down there." "Bring him up." "Bring him up." "That a boy." "Look at the size of..." "Hold him down." "Don't fight with him." "I think I just caught his kid brother before." "Everything's all right." "Put him down there." "Don't fight with him." "Okay." "Know what I'm gonna do?" "What are you gonna do?" "Throw him over." "What for?" "For bait." "Catch a big one." "What are you trying to do?" "Look..." "Throwing a big fish like that overboard." "Aw, sit down." "Let's see what happens now." "I came here..." "Now what've you got?" "Look what I've got now." "Careful he don't pull you in now." "Get him up." "Oh, that must be a dandy." "Get him up." "Give me that." "Bring him up." "All right, bring him up." "Give me that." "There, you got him." "Hold on to him now." "Ooh." "Boy." "Boy, he's a dandy." "Hey, don't lose that one." "I'm gonna bait this one up and throw him over." "Are you crazy?" "I'm gonna catch a bigger fish." "I told you not to..." "Sebastian!" "Sebastian!" "Mr. Broad..." "Mr. Broadhurst!" "Hold on, Sebastian." "Sebastian." "Grab the rope." "Hook it onto your belt." "That a boy." "Come on, Sebastian." "Hold on." "Hold on, Sebastian." "That a boy." "I figure this town is good for about three more weeks." "There you are." "There you are." "Give me your hand now." "That a boy." "Hold it." "Hold it." "Are you all right, Sebastian?" "Yeah." "Hey." "What?" "Bailey's cabin is right below." "I can hear every word he's sayin'." "Yeah?" "Let me down easy." "All right." "Take it easy now." "We'll work our way down to New Orleans, and by the time we arrive we'll be able to open the finest place in Louisiana." "Got a head on those beautiful shoulders, Miss Bonita." "We've made a lot of money on this showboat, Miss Farrel." "Why don't we give the boat back to Captain Sam and go on to New Orleans?" "Because Captain Jackson's reputation for honesty... is our biggest stock in trade." "Mr. Crawford, if I were you, I'd stop worrying about that silly old goat and his daughter." "As long as we got these notes, we've got him right where we want him." "What's the matter?" "I must be seeing things." "I just saw this side of my face staring at me with lather on it." "You usually have your nightmares at night." "Now you're having them in the daytime too." "Pour yourself another drink." "Guess I must've been mistaken." "Ooh!" "What's the matter?" "What's the matter?" "That." "Now listen." "Captain Sam's notes are in Bailey's wallet." "Yeah." "We've got to locate them." "What are you talkin' so hoarse for?" "Never mind that." "Keep quiet." "Well, come on." "No noise." "Ooh!" "Oh!" "Is he awake?" "No." "Put that candle up." "Shh." "Take it easy." "Now, let's find those notes." "That's what we've got to locate." "Mr. Broadhurst." "What?" "Look in here and see if anything's in there." "Ahhh." "Never mind that." "Sometimes you find them in books." "Look over there." "Look over there." "Go ahead." "Don't make any noise!" "Hey, shall I make sure he's asleep?" "Yeah, go ahead." "Make sure he's asleep." "Okay." "Go ahead." "Hey!" "Not that way!" "It won't hurt much." "Yeah, but you'll wake him up." "Put that down." "Load the guns, men." "Sound the bugle." "Shh." "Call the general." "Shh." "The Indians are attacking." "He's having a nightmare." "Don't wake him up, or he'll murder us." "Indians.!" "I'm surrounded... with Indians." "Ahhh." "I see you, hiding behind that tree!" "No." "No." "I wanna see the Indians." "Shut up!" "No." "There you are." "Now I've got you." "Don't push." "Don't push." "Now I've got you, you pesky little rat!" "Don't push!" "Look out!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Tryin' to pull a bow and arrow on me, were you?" "Shhh!" "Tryin' to..." "Bite the dust, you varmint!" "Quiet." "I must tell this to the general." "Don't wake him up." "Where?" "Where did the little Indian go?" "Don't tell him." "Don't tell him." "Don't tell him." "Ahhh." "Ahhh." "Shh." "Shh." "Tryin' to fool with me, were you?" "Come out of there, you..." "Come out of there!" "Come out of there!" "Tryin' to pull a tomahawk on me!" "Quiet." "Quiet." "Maybe this will teach you a lesson!" "Don't wake him up." "Don't wake him up." "Shhh." "This I must tell to the general." "It's all right, it's all right." "Here's your hat." "Shh." "Don't go away." "Indians." "Take it easy." "Take it easy." "Indians." "Where..." "Where is that little Indian?" "I've lost him again." "There he is." "There!" "Now you..." "Come out." "Come out!" "Shh." "Quiet." "Come out, wherever you are." "Get up!" "Get up, you Indian!" "Shhh." "Get up!" "No, no, no." "You'll wake him up." "Don't wake him up." "Hold still." "This I must tell to the general." "Don't wake him up." "Get the wallet." "Get the wallet." "You get it." "Go ahead." "You want me to get hurt?" "No." "Well, go ahead." "Get the wallet." "Shhh." "Don't wake him up.!" "Go ahead, get the wallet." "It's under the pillow." "Go ahead." "Under the pillow." "Under the pillow!" "Go ahead." "That a boy." "Go ahead." "Go ahead!" "Now I've got you!" "Now I've got you!" "Tell that to the general." "I can't get you" "Out of my mind" "My one thought is you" "And somehow I find" "That I can't keep you" "Out of my dreams" "You're here, you're there you're everywhere" "Or so it seems" "I can't get you" "Out of my heart" "You're right there to stay" "And though we're apart" "You left so many" "Memories behind" "That I can't get you out of my mind, no" "I can't get you" "Out of my" "Mind Ooh-ooh-ooh" "Caroline, I liked the words to your song." "I can't get you out of my mind." "Do you think Miss Farrel would approve?" "I meant to tell you about that... about how I woke up one morning with a nasty headache, owing Miss Farrel a lot of money, just like your father did." "I've been working for her ever since." "Why don't you do something about it?" "Maybe I will." "Hello, Avery." "Good evening, Sam." "Everything's fixed." "Go over to the table with Dexter and watch for his sign." "All right, make your plays, gentlemen." "Ride with the winner." "Twelve." "The loser." "I mean seven, the winner." "All right, boys." "Looking for a new point." "Snake eyes." "You lose." "I mean seven." "You win." "Something's going wrong." "Yeah?" "Crowd's breaking the house at number two table." "Number two?" "That's impossible." "Those dice are loaded." "All right, gentlemen." "Place your bets." "There's the dice rolling, and they're coming out for point... seven." "You win." "All right, place your bets." "Wait a minute!" "Hold the dice!" "What's going on here?" "Ohh!" "You!" "What have you been doing under there?" "Hey!" "Do you see that?" "Yes." "How many, please?" "Two, ple..." "Thank you." "Aaah!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Sebastian!" "Sebastian!" "Mr. Broadhurst, did you call me?" "Throw me a life saver!" "What?" "Throw me a life saver.!" "Throw him a lifesaver." "Hmm." "Okay." "Here you are!" "Catch it!" "What you did tonight ran all the chumps away." "Captain Sam, we can't go on together." "One of us has got to leave." "It won't be me." "I'll give you $5,000 for your share." "Not for five million." "Then, suppose we leave it to the cards?" "One hand of open poker, winner take all." "Hmm." "What chance would I have against a pack of cardsharps?" "Go ahead." "All or nothing." "I shuffle, I take the first card and it's all in the open?" "Right." "All right, Mr. Crawford, cut them once for luck." "Queen of spades." "Eight of hearts." "Jack of diamonds." "Five of hearts." "Ten of spades." "Queen, Jack, ten." "Possible straight for you." "Four of hearts." "King, spades." "The King, hearts." "That's the fourth heart." "Nine of diamonds." "I made it!" "I filled my straight." "If you draw a heart, your heart flush beats my straight." "It's a spade.!" "We've won.!" "We own the River Queen again.!" "So you slipped us a cold deck just because of a dame, huh?" "Ohhh!" "Oh!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Get him!" "Come back!" "Open the door, or I'll bust it.!" "He can't." "Don't worry." "Look out!" "Look out!" "Look out!" "Whoooooo!" "Now I've got you!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Help!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "No!" "Hey, let me down!" "Don't pull on me!" "Come on!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Wait a minute!" "Wait a minute!" "Look out!" "Come on!" "Which way?" "Here, give me that!" "Come on!" "This way!" "Come on!" "Let me in!" "Let me in!" "Whoo!" "Open that door!" "Open that..." "Open that door!" "Let me in that door!" "Where'd he go?" "Ahhh." "Stop!" "Excuse me." "Stop!" "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute, fellows." "Let him go first." "He's chasing me." "All right." "Ohhh." "Which way did he go?" "Why get in my way?" "I'm sorry." "Wait a minute." "I've got an idea." "Come on." "Come on." "I'll wait here in the corner, you go let them chase you around and leave the rest to me." "Go ahead." "Ha-ha!" "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Never mind him." "Go get another one." "Get another one." "I want business." "Get another one!" "Whoo!" "Come on." "Hey!" "Come on, come on!" "That a boy." "Nice work." "Nice work." "Now let's make it three straight." "Okay." "Okay." "Pick that up." "Go ahead." "Hurry up." "Get him, Dexter!" "Now I can relax a little bit." "What'll I do with him?" "Let me at him." "I'll beat him to a pulp." "Leave me alone." "I'm gonna tear you up." "Ohh!" "All right, get in." "Little Eva's goin' to heaven" "Heaven, heaven" "Goin' to heaven on judgment day" "She's climb, climb climbing' up to heaven" "Heaven, heaven" "She's climb, climb climbing' up to heaven" "She's goin' up She's goin' up" "To heaven" "Climbin' up to heaven" "Little Eva's goin'up" "To heaven I think I went in the wrong direction."