"Am I interrupting?" "This is my regular morning ritual." " I brought coffee." "Two." " Thanks." "Add a dash of rum, please." "We've been at it since six, so the two-hour rule applies." "Don't hit me!" "I'm a new man." "You don't look any different." "Touch me, and I'll spank you so hard you'll need a hemorrhoid cushion!" "Here you go." " Rough morning?" " Yes." "You could say that." "I have one month to live my life to the max." "Then Eva and I will figure out if we've better off together or apart." "That's fantastic." "No, it isn't." "I want her, not someone else." " How do you know?" "Have you tried?" " Tried what?" "Other women." "You may be surprised." "You don't have to do them all at once." "Why do I even bother talking to you?" "Because you only have me and Benedikt." "And Benedikt isn't awake at this hour." "It feels like a midlife crisis." "Maybe that's what this sudden urge to propose is." "To hang on to Eva forever." "To gain control of your own lie." "Your own mortality." "Our lives are nothing but crisis, Dag,   starting with puberty." "You've been handed the medicine." "You have been encouraged to do whatever you want." "I'm not the type to have a midlife crisis." "I got over that when I started losing my hair in my 30s." "I'm not afraid of missing out on anything." "I'm not afraid of dying." "But I am afraid of losing her." "Which I will by doing things I feel guilty about." " But she asked you to!" " Because she's in a bad place personality." "I should just embrace her and tell her everything will be OK." "But she won't let me." "She feels she isn't contributing to society." "And she accuses me of judging her." "Maybe she's right to drag you down off your high horse." " This could be good for both of you." " I'm not like you, Ernst." "I have to rehash absolutely everything." "I can't simply walk out the door and pretend nothing has happened." "I'm not like that." "As Freud says:" ""I've studied women for 30 years,   and there's one thing I don't understand." "What the hell do they want?"" "Maybe you should try?" "Just once?" "Let go?" " I don't want to." " Maybe you have to." "In order to keep her." "Come on!" ""Don't think I'll let you live your life in that glass jar," father said." "Hello." "Everything normal here?" "Malin?" "Right." "Tomas and Karin?" "The only fixed points in my life." "What's on your mental menu?" " Her hormone treatments." " Is that what it's boiled down to?" "Yes, actually." "Her mood swings." "I never know which version I'll encounter." "This happens to be necessary, Thomas!" " It's not like I have a choice!" " Yes, you do." " No one's stuffing those pills down your..." " I think we'll start with you, Karin." "You're going for artificial insemination?" "Is this payback because Thomas had a vasectomy behind your back?" "No." " You just want a baby?" " Not at any cost, but..." "My mind is made up." "The date is already set." "It's at the Stork Clinic." "And you, Thomas, dislike the idea of another man's sperm?" "No, it's just her mood swings." "The hormones have made her crazy." "So another child doesn't bother you?" "Of course it does." "I chose to have a vasectomy." "And I have chosen to have another child." "We have made two specific choices." "Why is your choice so damned much better than mine?" "!" "You must agree that there are more consequences   to having a child than not having one?" "For you, maybe, but not for me!" "Then there's that test-tube stuff." "I find it morally reprehensible and wrong." "There are million kids waiting to be adopted." "A child starves to death every fifth second." "There!" "A kid just died." "And we're supposed to pop down to Copenhagen,   and create this experimental baby, as if we're buying tax-free salami!" "It's reprehensible, inhuman, and unpleasant." " So adoption is OK then?" " No, not at all." "Do you know what your test-tube experiment is?" "It's sick." "You just have a need to feel pregnant." "I see." "Then why don't we just adopt, Thomas?" "We have had this conversation a hundred times before!" "But you don't want to..." "You don't want another child!" "This is a magic moment, Dag." "Could you take a picture of us?" "You have finally understood that I don't want any more children." "Yeah, why not?" "I'll just take it of you, Thomas." "Karin will remember this anyway." " Why?" " Because you lost!" "All you have to decide now, is whether to stay or go." "The game is over." "You lost." "She won." "Do you want to leave now, with all that will entail for the near future?" "Or do you want to stay, with all that will entail for the next... 18 years." "Good luck." "A single mother with two kids?" "Good luck." "You can..." "You can go drink yourself to death in some tiny apartment." "Great." "Same time, next week?" "OK..." " Why are you so happy?" " I'm going to start drinking again,   and maybe sleep around too." "Malin?" "Malin?" "I want her to be observed." "I want you to keep an eye on her!" "Heil Hitler!" "Heil, hell." "Juanita, this is Leon." "Leon, this is... daddy." "You know what?" "I know you think it's scary to meet new people." "So do I" "But if you promise not to be afraid for me, " " I promise I won't be afraid of you." "And if you get a little scared anyway, " " I can bribe you with ice cream and soda." "And then we can sit and be scared together." "Do you want to do that?" "Language class?" " You can call me any time, Leon." " Yeah." "Ja?" "Welcome!" " You sure about this?" " Yes." "I have clients on Monday, so this has to end Sunday morning." " You're sure?" " Yes." "Then let's get started." "Help yourself." "Christ..." " Good?" " Yeah." "This..." "I have longed for this." "The first swig of ice-cold beer after a long week." " Was that the worst thing to give up?" " No." "The worst part was never being able to dull my emotions." "Why are you really doing this?" "You never know what you have until you lose it, but this..." "I don't have her." "That's one reason." "The other reason is people have been telling me I'm on this high horse." " Is that true?" " Yeah." "Christ!" "What an idiot." "Just punch me if I start up again." "What's the plan?" "I thought we'd start nice and easy." " Here you go." " No way..." " Yes!" " So I'm Luke Rhinehart tonight?" ""You are the dice man!" It will be awesome." "Roll a one or two:" "We drink beer here until you get restless." "Three:" "We go drink at the local pub." "Four:" "We start with tequila and hope for the best." "Five:" "Start with tequila, Viagra and Valium,   and go out as an emotionless erection machine." "Or six:" "You have to do three things tonight   that you could never imagine doing." " No way!" " Yes!" " This is the plan." " It's a bad plan." "It's all up to the dice, Dag." ""Let it be the will of the dice!"" "This is exiting!" "It was inevitable." "No!" " Awesome?" " No!" "You need a shot to make it through this evening." "Because tonight..." "Here you go." "This will be fun!" "Nothing but fun!" "Shit, it's 11 o'clock." "Time to head out." " What is it?" " Nothing." "I just..." "I wonder what Eva's up to right now?" "Three things you could never imagine doing." "That's all you need to focus on." "I start." "Your turn." "This counts as something you'd never do?" "Yes." "And I'm never doing it again." "Just listen to the word: falafel." "It rolls off the tongue like a wet rag." "Mashed, dead plants posing as meat,   made by people who refuse to eat bacon   yet drive around in gas-guzzling SUVs and buy mahogany." "Falafel..." "It sounds like the final gasp of a dying man." "Falaf..." "OK." "Three things before the night is over." " Karaoke and falafel Check." " Two things I never would have done." " And now it's time to crank it up." " I'm ready for anything." " That was not Eva." " Bring it on." "I'm a man without a woman, hope, or a job." "Just like you." "With one significant difference." "Remember:" "I'm a man in love." "With the world's most beautiful woman." " Juanita?" " Mhm." "She is a... man." " Say what?" " She is a man." "The father of Eva's child." "OK..." " Then I have nothing to lose, either." " Nope." "Let's go." "You have to keep the rhythm, Dag, or we'll get screwed up." "You're a meadow." "Let your body move with the wind." " A meadow?" " You can't syncopate in a threesome." "Mess up the rhythm and Hilde's gonna end up with a sore throat." "Fucking isn't jazz." "It's 4/4 time." " A good old boogie." "Switch?" " All right." "There..." "Let's see..." "There we go." "You ready?" " Oh, yeah!" " One, two." "One, two, three, four." "One, two, one... two." "One, two, one..." "That's it." "We're like a metronome now." "Excellent!" "Sorry about that Juanita comment." "That was insensitive of me." " But what could I say?" " Focus on the rhythm!" "What are you doing?" "What are you...?" "What the hell?" "!" "Thought I'd try something I've never tried before." " That is not cool!" "Get back in front." " Come on!" "I thought I'd fetch Leon." "I tried to run him through a car wash, but they went ballistic." "I told them, "Give me a break!" "He's a horse, he's waterproof."" "Here, hold the reins." "I need some coffee." "So you're freshly fucked?" "That must feel good." "I haven't been freshly fucked in a long time."