"Hi, there. it's me, Pigeon Toady." "Here are my two best friends in the world to show you how to change a baby." "Er..." "Yeah." "We're actually more just work-friends." "(LAUGHS) Great joke, best friend." "First, grab the baby's legs with one hand." " He doesn't know anything about babies." " What are you talking about?" "(EXCLAIMING)" "Oh, my gosh." "Are you okay?" "Now, apply moisture-repelling ointment." "Put point B to point C, and now you're done." "That was easy." "Literally didn't do anything." "Sometimes babies get hungry." "Trust me, I know." "Hand me the baby." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Hi, baby." "(EXCLAIMING)" " Do you want help or..." " Hard pass." "Okay." "(GRUNTING)" "Seriously, we don't have a smaller baby?" " Hey, don't forget to burp him." " Come on." "Pat, pat, pat." "Oh, gross." "Another day is finished." "Time to sleep, baby." "Close those eyes, baby." "Here's a blanket." "WOLVES:" "Aw!" "She made the noise." "Let's try a baby swing." "(SINGING) This is the sleep song Babies must sleep" "You must sleep Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep" "(SNORING)" "Uh, how many takes are we gonna do?" "This is like regular Kubrick over here." " Yeah, without the talent." " Hello." "In conclusion, I'm a great parent and you can be, too." "Hey, check this out, baby." "(YELLS) What is wrong with you?" "Come on, baby." "Let's go get some coffee." "You can have an espresso." "They come in little, perfect, tiny baby cups." "Wait, no!" "Babies don't drink coffee." "Stay away from my camera!" "I don't want people getting the wrong impression!" "I am making a movie for the lnternet." "Whoa." "The Internet loves Pigeon Toady." "(LAUGHS) Told you." "I told all of you." "Awesome."