" Hey." " What?" " Nothing." "I thought you were Mom." " You broke her vase!" "I know." "She's gonna kill me!" "I don't even know how it happened." "I just brushed up against it, and the thing fell apart." " So you broke it." " I guess." "It fell apart so easy, like someone already broke it, stuck it together and left it out for someone else to knock over." "Why would someone do that when you broke it?" " Why did you come over here?" " No reason." "What's in your hand?" "ls that glue?" "It's glue." "Yeah!" "'Mom!" " Ma!" " How are the midterms?" " Not so good." "Maybe I just don't inspire my students." " Maybe they're just lazy and stupid." " That's what I think." " Need some help with that?" " I've handled a little ice in my day." "There." "This is all Nick's fault." "He's late and he's ice-pouring guy." " Is this Nick's fault?" " That's so cold!" "You're in so much trouble." "You get it" "No, okay." "Now, pretend you're like" " Okay." "Once I got myself out of a parking ticket with that move." "And into a really bad relationship." " Was that the guy who--?" " Yes." " Who wanted you to--?" " No." "That was another guy." "Hello, hello." "That's British for "hello."" "Nick, your shift started an hour ago." "Hey, you were late once." "You were really late." "You mean when I had an emergency appendectomy?" "The point is, everyone had to cover for you." "I don't remember that part because I was unconscious in the hospital." "It's not my fault." "Mom didn't wake me up." " What, Aunt Maria still wakes you up?" " Sure." "She doesn't want my cocoa to get cold." "Nick has your mother wrapped around his finger." "Because all Greek boys are treated like princes." "Until they marry Greek virgins, and then they become kings." "You should see how my mom treats my brother." ""Angelo, sit." "We don't want to ruin your handsome legs by having them support your own body weight."" ""Oh, Nico, are you going to bed?" "Call me from upstairs so I know you made it safely."" "Hey, Nick." "Thomas thinks it's weird that your mom does everything for you." " I did not say weird." " My mom doesn't do everything for me." "That's true." "You handle breathing and chewing." "Okay, okay." "You still live with your parents." "Yeah, but I-." "With me, it's" "I.m a girl" "How many Greek boys does it take to screw in a light bulb?" "None." "They're all taking a nap while their mother does it." " That's racist." " I'm sorry." "Look, you have a system that works for you, you know?" "You never have to grow up." "You're like Peter Pan." " Only cooler, with no tights." " He has tights." "Mom keeps them in his drawer beside the pixie dust." "Go ahead with your jokes." "You think you can mess with my head and get me to change what's been working for 30 years, you've got the wrong head." "Clear?" " We're clear." " Good." "So, what do you think of my new apartment?" "Look, Mom, this is my house, and that's me." " Where is your husband?" " It's just me." " Is your husband at work?" " It's just me." " Is he in the backyard?" " Oh, boy." "You got Nick to move out?" "This is trouble." " I think it's healthy for Nick." " Yes, it's healthy for Nick." "Know what's not healthy for me?" "My parents crying and screaming in my ear." "That's not gonna happen." "Help!" "I'm sorry." "I forgot." "Help!" " Maria, what's wrong?" " Nick has run away from home." "Mom, he has moved eight blocks away." " You know?" " Yes." "Well, it's terrible." "He kept going on about how he wants to grow up and be responsible." "Responsible?" "That's crazy talk." "What would put this idea into his head?" "Well, I blame television." "Maria, for some people, a grown son moving out is a good thing." "Who are these people?" "Do they care about their children?" "Thomas, Greek boys stay at home until they're married." "I just heard the news." " Voula, he's gone." " Oh, Maria." "When Angelo left, he broke my heart, but now I see it was for the best." "Of course, he left a hole that can't be filled, but change makes you strong if you can crawl out of bed and face the day." "Could you pick some advice and stick with it?" "All right, all right." "Good point." " Have you told them?" " Yes, I have." "Who wouldn't want to live with us?" "Maybe Nick just wants to spread his wings." " You agree with him?" " Well, I see his side." "And I see your side." "And then there's Nick, he has a side." " So many sides, so little time." " I am too upset." " I need to cook." " Poor thing, poor thing." "We can all thank God she has me." "Thomas, Nick don't need to spread no wings." "I agree with you completely." " What's that?" " I'm on your side." "Nick shouldn't let his mother wait on him while he sits around in his underpants." " So go in there and say something." " It's better coming from you." " No, let's all go tell her, Dad." " No." " Let's go tell her." " No!" "You're afraid of Mom." "Okay, if you think it's so important..." "Mom?" "This should make you feel better." "All three of us" "Both of us think that this is a good idea." "With Nick gone, you'll have more free time." "To do what?" "When I moved out, my mother started breeding poodles." "Of course, that's not for everyone." "Yeah." "I like taking care of Nick." "He's my hobby." "Well, Mom, your son shouldn't be your hobby." " Why not?" " Well, because it should be golf or yoga or collecting old stamps." "It just can't be a person, okay?" "Time for myself." "Well, maybe you're right." " I'll think about it." " Oh, Maria." "Maria, when Angelo moved out, I stopped being his mother and I started being his friend." "Now he invites me to all his parties." " He invites you?" " Well, he doesn't stop me from coming." "Nick, you have furniture." " What were you expecting?" " A bed made out of dirty laundry." "Hey, Nick, you've even got curtains up." "Nick, it was weeks before Angelo covered his windows and then it was with aluminum foil." "What, you guys didn't think I could really set up house?" "Please, of course we did." "Mostly." "We had our doubts." "Who helped you?" "I did it myself." "You mean "I did it myself" the way a husband says, "We had a baby"?" "No, I mean I did it myself." "And you know what?" "It felt good." "No one coddling me or holding my hand, just me and the four guys I found in front of the paint store." "Nick, how'd you find this place?" "I know a guy who hooked me up with the landlord." "So I slipped him a cashier's check and he handed me a key in an envelope." " Nick, that's how everyone does it." " Does everybody sign a "lease"?" "Ma!" "Mom?" "Hi." "Why are you vacuuming my house?" "Well, I was thinking, why can't vacuuming be a hobby?" " I mean, it's not a person." " Yeah, Mom, that's a good start." "So I've been to Nick's, and he's just doing great, Mom." "Just yesterday, he learned not to put metal in the microwave." " Is he all right?" " Oh, yeah, he's fine." "There was a cool light show, and he's got one fork that's all like:" " So he's happy." " Yes." "Well, anyway, with all my "me time," look what I made for you." "You knit me a bucket?" "It's a hat." "Put it on." " You hate it." " No, no, no." "I love it, I love it. it's..." "You know what?" "Thomas and I will wear it together." "Well, I did all your wash." "You know, these old-lady panties you have are not right for a married lady." " But, Mom, they're comfy." " Okay." "But I bought you these." "Wait a minute." "If you don't mind, I'll put them on by myself." "All right, now." "Where should we start your spring cleaning?" " We've only lived here two months." " It's all right." "I'll keep going in this room, you attack the closets..." "...and we'll meet up in the garage." " Yay!" " Hello." " Hi." "Look who's here again, my mom, doing stuff for us." " Hi, Thomas." " Hi, Maria." "So I guess you haven't seen much of Nick lately." "Well, only at the restaurant." "I'm trying to give him space." "Space." "Everybody needs it." "So hard to find." "You look hungry." "I'll fix you something." " And then, more cleaning." " Oh, boy!" "She does everything, yet I've never been more exhausted." "Nick's only been gone a few days." "She'll get used to it..." "...and things will get back to normal." " You think?" "I almost forgot!" "Thomas these are for you." "Dad, you're getting that all over your shirt." "That's okay." "Your mother loves a challenge." " Maria, it's your day off." " But I'm bored." " Well, do the books." " I did." " I don't know, clean the back fridge." " I did." "There's the hat I made for you." " You don't like it." " Of course I do. it's..." " It's woolly and delightful." " Then why don't you wear it?" " Well, I'm inside the building." " What you need is an inside hat." " No, Maria." " Give me those glasses, they're dirty." "I'm the one looking through them, they're fine." "You don't even have to take them off." "Maria, please!" "Look, there's Voula." " Talk to Voula." " All right." "Voula, Nikki." "Hello, Maria." " Are you planning a party?" " No, a 10-year anniversary." "Now, since the traditional gift is tin, I was thinking a Wizard of Oz theme." "How about a prison theme?" "You know, they use tin cups to bang on the bars." "A prison does not bring to mind, to me, a festive party atmosphere." "How about a Rin Tin Tin theme?" "You know, everybody could eat their cake out of dog bowls." "That's good." "Yes!" " Look, here's Nick." " Nick." " Hey, Ma." " Nico." " Another day, huh?" " Yes." " And another dollar." " That's true." "That is so true." "So big plans for tonight?" "Ma, I'm a single guy in Chicago with my own apartment it's Thursday night." "Do I need to say more?" "If you want to." "I'd be glad to." "Thursday night's perfect." "Because Friday and Saturday, that's amateur night." "Sunday?" "Losers who didn't find anyone Friday and Saturday." "Monday through Wednesday?" "Alcoholics." "So Thursday night's the perfect night." "You've really given this a lot of thought." "I think about stuff when I'm mopping." "Do you know what shirt you're going to wear?" "Ma, I think I can start picking out my own shirts." "I know, Nico." "I know." "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow." "Okay." " Why are you walking funny?" " My mom starched my bras." "Remember the good old days when Nick lived with your folks?" "Yeah." "And my mom would just fuss over him and leave us alone." " Yeah." " Good times." "Hey, guys!" " You ready for flicks at Nick's?" " Yeah." " Nice of you to invite us." " I would've done it sooner but my social life's out of control, if you know what I mean." "I know what you mean." "I used to have a swinging pad like this." "Dude, no one says "swinging pad" any more." "Dude, no one says "dude."" " Hey, what smells good?" " That's popcorn." "Or the plug-in air freshener." "Yeah, I was gonna say hot-buttered alpine mist." "It's your parents!" "And we have entertainment." " Mom, Dad, welcome to my place!" " Nico." " That's my chair." " My mistake." " So, Ma, do you like it?" " Well, I like the person who lives in it." "Hey, Ma, I cleaned the entire bathroom." " Come check it out." " Let's see." "So, Gus, did you hit any traffic on the way over?" "I do miss Nick." "There, you dragged it out of me." "Are you happy?" "No one's happy." "Except the clerk who sold Mom $300 worth of thong panties." "Gus, we all wish Nick would go home." "Hey, Ma that's where the meat factory dumps sewage into the Chicago River." "Okay, Nick's flicks, take one." " So, what movies did you guys rent?" " Hercules." "Surprise, surprise." " Oh, you got the one in Greek." " It's a Greek story." "But Thomas won't be able to follow along." "I thought of that." "This one has subtitles." "Yeah." "They're in German." "I can't picture Germans watching Hercules." "Who wouldn't love Hercules?" "To be honest, I'm not crazy about him." " Why don't we just rent another movie?" " Well, like what?" "I don't know, let's scour Chicago and see if we can find one in English." "I can understand Hercules without the words." "If he's throwing a boulder, I'm guessing he's mad." " I can't believe you don't like Hercules." " I can't believe you wear dirty glasses." "What does that have to do with Hercules?" " Because how can you see the movie?" " Guys, can we just watch the movie?" "Hey, it's not your job to stop them from arguing." " I'm sorry?" " You know how it goes." "First, they argue." "Then they each claim they won." "Then they laugh because they can't remember..." "...what they were arguing about." " We do do that." "And after the arguing and the laughing, Mom cooks." "Or if it's warm out, Dad barbecues." "And we take off our shoes and the grass in the backyard feels so nice." "Mom tells Nia not to lie on the lawn because she'll get grass stains." "And then Dad says, "Hey, let the girl be!" And it's loud." "I miss loud." "I love loud." "I'm moving home!" "I'm moving home too!" "You can both move home if you want to." " And bring Thomas too." " Hey, let's not get carried away." "Nico, you made me so happy." "But, Ma, if I move back, there's gonna be some changes." "Big changes." " I'll do anything." " That's what needs to change." " I want to start doing things by myself." " I see." "Well, don't worry, Nick, I have plenty of hobbies." "Yes, those hobbies." "Nico, when you say you do everything yourself..." "...you don't mean everything." " Everything." " You don't mean everything." " Yes, I really do." "What about your laundry and the cooking?" "Well, there's got to be some sort of give-and-take here." "Good, good." "Let's pack up and get you home." "Wait a minute." "Why don't we watch the movie first." " I thought you don't like Hercules." " But we're here, and there's popcorn." " Maria, you make me crazy." " You know what's crazy?" "Renting Hercules 14 times." "Why don't you just buy the damn thing?" "Because every fifth time, it's free." " Maybe we should watch the movie." " Let's just watch them." "Why can't we rent a movie in English?" "Like with Kirk Douglas." "Samson and Delilah." "You know, I'm going to hit you right over the head." "You're out of your mind." " But you have to admit I'm very cute." " You are cute." "Am I cute?" " Plenty." "You plenty cute." " I'm plenty cute." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"