"It's exactly as I described it to you." "Gary doesn't lie." "Intimate, but not small." "Check." "Character." "Double check." "You see, Gary doesn't lie." "And the best part?" "I've been working the owner for months, convincing her to sell." "You're getting it first." "It's not even on the market yet." "So, you like?" "The house?" "Yes." "Gary?" "Maybe not." " Good morning, everyone." " Hey, hello, Doris." "I want you to meet your first potential buyers." "Fritz and Brenda." "Thank you for coming." "Would anyone like a freshly-baked cookie?" " Thank you." " You're welcome." "It's so homey here." "I'm surprised you want to leave." "Well, I don't really." "No, I put it on the market last summer, and then I changed my mind." "But the house has gone up in value so much that everybody thinks I should take the money and run." " More coffee?" " No." "I think that..." " Yes, please." " Okay." "You know, we raised three children in this house." "My husband, Tom, he put those cabinets in himself." " More coffee?" " Yes, thank you." "Hey, we can rip those out, no problem." "Goodness!" "More company!" "Deputy Chief Johnson." "Thought you said this place wasn't listed yet." "It's not supposed to be." "Yes, Lieutenant, what is it?" "Someone back at my office must've noticed it was back on the market." "Why, what happened?" "He's how old?" "Oh, for heaven's sake." "No, no, I'll be right there." "Thank you." " What if we wanted to make an offer?" " What?" "Hey, Chief, fax for you." " Rules of escrow?" " Thank you!" "So, this guy was pushing around some sick, old man in a wheelchair near Hollywood Boulevard." "A tourist finally gave him a cell phone to call 911." "But by the time the paramedics got there, the guy in the wheelchair was dead." "Which might have been the end of it..." "Except our elderly gentleman here claimed he murdered the victim." " Ten to one, here's what happened." " My heart." "Help!" "Help!" "And then Hollywood Division pushed them our way, so that they could enjoy their Sunday." "They're just following the rules, Chief." "The thing is our old guy claims to have killed six other people the same way." " And how did he do that?" " He won't say." "He won't tell us his name either." "He didn't have any ID on him, and neither did the dead guy." "All right." "Okay, if I can determine that this man's delusional, that he belongs to the mental evaluation unit, then we can all go home and save on overtime." "In the meantime..." "Detective Daniels and Sanchez, please take a peek at missing persons." "See if anyone is looking for two nameless old men." "Lieutenant Provenza, please make sure that our victim is on a gurney at the morgue." "And Lieutenant Tao, if you wouldn't mind sending this fax to the number on the coversheet, it's some thingy for my real estate agent." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "Good morning, sir." "I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson." "Could you please tell me your name?" "How about the name of the man who died?" "I murdered him." "And the others." "I killed them all." "And how did you do that?" "Poison." "You know that you poisoned a total of seven people, but you don't know your name." "Who says I don't know my name?" "A Deputy Chief, eh?" "That's pretty impressive." "There's, what, 12 of you in the whole department?" "Sir, there are several inconsistencies to your story." "I actually remember that Detective Provenza guy who put me in here." "He was a highly motivated young man." " Bet your sweet ass I was." " Have you been arrested before?" "I spent some time here when I was younger." "What is it about my story that's inconsistent?" "Well, you claim you tried to poison someone, and yet you called 911." "If you were you really were trying to murder someone, why call for help?" "Well, I wanted to see what it was like." "Dying, you know?" "I didn't watch the others." "But it went on too long and I chickened out." "All right, sir." "I'm afraid that you might not be competent" " to speak on your own behalf." " You're worried about my sanity." "I've a right to remain silent, anything I say can and will be used" " against me in a court of law." " Sir..." "I have a right to an attorney." "If I cannot afford one," " etcetera, etcetera." "Blah, blah, blah." " Sir." "Look, let me make something completely clear." "I do not want a lawyer." "Understood?" "And if you don't know how to assemble your case, let me give you a little hint." "Bernard Kaplan." " Is that your name?" " No, it's the name of your dead John Doe." "And I'll trade you the names of the other six people I killed if you'll give me something to eat." "Names." "Please." "Lieutenant Provenza, I'm almost afraid to ask you this." "Do you remember anything about this old man?" "If you twisted my arm, I'd say he looks familiar." "That's about it." "Chief, I ran" "Rumple's prints through AFIS along with Bernard Kaplan." "No hits on either man." "Tao," " what's a "rumplestiltskin"?" " It's a fairytale." "There's this old dwarf won't tell the Queen his name, and she has to guess it in order to..." "Well, if Rumplestiltskin has wandered away from home, it's been less than 24 hours." "Missing persons hasn't generated a report yet." "All right." "Sergeant Gabriel, let's head over to the Coroner's Office." "Maybe we can get some death certificates." "Chief," "I can go to the morgue with you." "We'll sort this out." "Oh, Chief, this fax didn't quite make it through." "I called the service guy." "He's supposed to be here tomorrow morning, 11.00 a.m." "Lieutenant Tao, thank you." "I'll find another fax machine along the way." "Gabriel came off suspension Friday night." "Why don't you give him a call to come in?" "Yeah, but we'll be done with this before he even gets here." "Would you just do it, Flynn?" "God, you're a pain in the ass." "Let me guess." "Natural causes?" "If we were guessing," "I wouldn't be cutting the old guy open and pulling out his intestines." "I'd still be at brunch." "With my friends." "Having a mimosa." "Well, Dr. Morales, I'm so sorry to interrupt your Sunday, but it's important to establish that Mr. Kaplan here is not a homicide victim." "Well, you better wipe off your crystal ball, honey, because this guessing thing isn't working for you." "Mr. Kaplan was murdered?" "You see this nasty irritation along the esophagus?" "Some hemorrhaging, too." "There and there." " And the stomach was pretty torn up." " Which means?" "Violent vomiting before death." "Even in advance of a tox screen, I'd say poison." "All the offices with the fax machines were closed, Chief, so no luck sending this." " Shoot." " But" "I did dig up six death certificates." "One for each name that the old man gave us." "Now, they all died within the last year." "And get this." "They all lived at a place called the Summerview Senior Living Center." "Now, while the certificates indicate that they died of natural causes, they're all signed by the same physician." "All right, Mr. Stiltskin, I'm not ignoring you anymore." "Thank you so much." "Just work!" " What are you doing here?" " You mean in my office?" "Oh, sorry..." "You're holding a delusional old man in an interview room on a Sunday afternoon." "Yeah, I know that." "You're wrapping that up, right?" " Sending everybody home until tomorrow?" " Not exactly." "Look, it's irritating, I know." "But as it turns out, the dead guy actually was poisoned, which means that we have six more potential victims." "So get the death certificates." "That'll have a cause of death." "We did that." "They all supposedly died of natural causes." "But each death certificate was signed by the same doctor." "And when a doctor signs off on a death certificate..." "No autopsy." "Oh, my God, Brenda." "Tell me you didn't just fax orders for the exhumation of six bodies." "Okay, I didn't." "I just faxed the offer." "I have the confirmation in my hand." "Well, nothing has come through." "Can you just do it again?" "Gary says Doris could get another offer any minute." "And Gary doesn't lie." " It's there in the machine." " It's not." "All right." "I'll try and send it again later." "For heaven's sakes." "Oh, Chief, if you could believe it, six of the dead bodies were cremated." "Track down the ashes." "Any family members give you a problem, get a warrant." "Lieutenant Tao, are we signed to search the nursing home?" "Not quite." "The judge wants us to specify the room numbers we want to look at." "We have determined, that the six people you named are, in fact, deceased." "And that they all lived at the same nursing home prior to their deaths." "Congratulations, young lady, you're that much closer to finding out who I am." "And that much closer to treating you like a murderer, which seems to be what you want." "Now, I have a warrant to search Mr. Kaplan's room, but I need a room number." "308." "Might you have a room at this facility as well?" "Find out for yourself." "Say cheese." "Thank you." " Oh." "Hi." " Sergeant Gabriel." "What are you doing here?" "I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow." "I spoke to Daniels and she said the squad was on call, and my suspension was up Friday," " and I think this fax came for you." " Oh, shoot." "I faxed myself." "Chief, nursing home awaits." "Yes, thank you, I just need to send a fax." "Sergeant Gabriel, if you could please baby-sit the suspect while I'm gone." "Thank you." "And there's no need to beat information out of this old man." "He's been confessing all morning." "Can you sign these, please?" "I did sign them." "I faxed them to you before I left." "You faxed me your warrant." "Which is how I knew where to find you." "Oh, I'm..." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Look." "I'm dealing with a potential serial killer here, okay?" "A vicious murderer." "Named Rumplestiltskin." "Yes, I know." "Here, just sign." "Please." "Hi, there." "I'm Nurse Stiles." "You must be here for a tour." " Oh, pardon me." " Hi, I'm Nurse Townsend." "How can I help?" "Is Bernard Kaplan a resident here?" "Oh, my, I reported him missing today." "Is he okay?" "When did you notice he was gone?" "Early morning." "I was just finished my rounds, and I noticed Mr. Kaplan and Mr. Baxter's rooms were empty." "Is this Mr. Baxter?" "Yes, it is." "Donald Baxter." "Are he and Mr. Kaplan okay?" " Mr. Baxter's room number, please?" " 309." " Should I call the manager?" " You can if you'd like." "Wait." "Wait." "Wait." "Wait." "You've gotta sign the visitors' book." "There's nothing in Kaplan's room, Chief." " Thank you." " It kills me." "White people pay all this money to store their families in places like this." "We throw some carpet in the garage, everyone's welcome." "Looking at these pictures, it doesn't look like Mr. Baxter has any family at all." "There's all kinds of research on poisons here, Chief." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "I do recognize him." "Yeah, Baxter." "Donald Baxter." "He had the police beat on the newspaper when I was first starting out, Chief." "How did he end up here?" "Don't worry, Lieutenant, I'll come visit you." "Excuse me?" "Who's in charge here?" "Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson." "And you are?" "Judd Whaley." "I'm the manager and I really would have preferred some forewarning about your visit here." "Well, I'm sorry about that, but when we call ahead to execute a search warrant, we often find no one's home." " Excuse me, step back please, sir." " Are Mr. Kaplan and Mr. Baxter okay?" " Mr. Kaplan is dead..." " How?" "...and Mr. Baxter is in custody." " Oh, my!" " Why is Mr. Baxter in custody?" " He claims to have poisoned Mr. Kaplan." "Oh, my God." "But..." "Look, Mr. Baxter can be troublesome, a little paranoid at times, but he and Mr. Kaplan were friends." "Paranoid." "In what way?" "Another one of his friends passed away several months ago, and Mr. Baxter took it very hard." "He suffered what our doctor diagnosed as a psychotic break." "And so, occasionally, Mr. Baxter makes crazy accusations." "Like what?" "Silly things." "Like claiming that the staff is spying on him." "Dr. Reisen put him on Haldol, an antipsychotic, and all indications..." "Are these Dr. Reisen's signatures on all these death certificates?" "Yes, they are." "Because if these six people were poisoned as Mr. Baxter claims, and Dr. Reisen misdiagnosed them..." "Nobody is poisoning people here." "Not Mr. Baxter and certainly no one on Summerview staff." "Well, as it so happens, Mr. Kaplan's body does show signs of poisoning." "What?" "My God." "Do you think Mr. Baxter poisoned someone to prove a point?" "As crazy as that may sound, we can't take the chance." "I'm afraid we can't allow Mr. Baxter to return to Summerview." "It's simply not safe for the rest of our senior family." "Also, as a matter of procedure," "I'm going to have to treat these six other deaths as murders until I can determine otherwise." "No, hold on." "We run one of the finest facilities in the country." "Check our records, our reputation, whatever it takes..." "Chief, you need to see something." "Mr. Whaley, we will certainly take you up on your offer." "That's my Haldol." "Aren't you supposed to be taking this medication on a daily basis, Mr. Baxter?" "Yes, it's supposed to treat my so-called paranoid delusions." "Unfortunately, it doesn't work so well since I never took it." "So, now you're ready to believe maybe I really did murder those seven people?" "I'm starting to, yes." "Then I'd like to withdraw my confession." "Mr. Baxter, you understand it's a little hard to take you seriously." "Especially since you've quit your meds and are most likely suffering from psychotic delusions." "The nursing home was using those pills to shut me up because I know what's going on." "I know they're killing people." "Well, you do sound a little paranoid." "Yeah, you see how that works?" "I know something bad is going on, so they say I'm delusional and give me pills, drugs, to try and keep me quiet, knowing that if I stop taking the drugs and speak up," "I'm gonna sound crazy." "Why did you first tell us that it was you who killed those people?" "It was the only way I could get you to listen to me." "And if it comes down to it," "I'd rather go to prison than back to that home." "But you could've just filed a complaint." "I did file a complaint with the police." "But no one took me seriously until now." "I'm sorry I wasn't more helpful before, but I needed to know I could trust you." "And I needed you to believe that murders had been committed." "Murders for which you are still the most likely suspect." "Bernie was my last best friend." "Why would I kill him?" "Well, if I'm to believe the medical professionals, it's because you're out of your mind!" "And when I asked you why you poisoned Mr. Kaplan, you said it was to watch him die." " Now, that's just crazy!" " Exactly!" "All right, for the sake of argument, what motive drove Summerview to murder seven of its paying customers?" "The customers weren't paying enough." "Look into it." "You'll find that each of the victims had recently run out of money and had to go on Medicaid." "It's a massive loss of income for Summerview." "Doesn't sound insane to me." "In your room, we found research materials on various poisons." "I was trying to find out how they were killing us off." "I knew it was poison because so many of my friends got sick so suddenly." "But when poor Bernie came down with the same..." "I just wanted to try to get him some help." "Why didn't you call family?" "Someone to take you to a hospital?" "I don't have any family left, and you can forget going to Dr. Reisen or Nurse Townsend for help." "For all I know, one of them was responsible." "Got the tox screen back for Bernie Kaplan." " Positive for arsenic." " Arsenic." "Chief, we picked up Nurse Townsend." "She's on her way." "We're still looking into this Dr. Reisen." "And..." "Commander Taylor said he's checking into Baxter's claim that he filed a complaint." "Thank you, Sergeant." "These files the manager gave us?" "I looked into Summerview's financial records for all seven victims, and Baxter was right." "They were all on Medicaid." "Only problem?" "There are currently 11 other residents at Summerview who are also on Medicaid." "Several of them for years." "So much for Mr. Baxter's theory." "Anything else?" "Summerview seems like a really efficient place." "Winner of several awards, commendations and monthly bonuses, all based on occupancy." "So it's hard to see why they'd be killing off their customers." "Okay, cremated remains for five of the vics." " What happened to number six?" " Family lost him in a move." "This is Joyce Robinson." "Her daughter said she never got around to getting a proper urn." " Marilyn Roberts." "Her niece says..." " Yeah, I get the picture." "Someone's family cared." "Wanna look a little more closely at the name, Chief?" "Scrappy." "They put Mom's ashes in the dog's urn." "It's not funny, Flynn." "How nice to see everybody spending time together off the clock." "This is some kind of team morale-building exercise or something, right?" "Well, actually, Chief Pope, we may be looking at some overtime here," " and I'm sorry about that." " No." "No overtime, period." "And as for your suspect, either charge him, or send him home." "'Cause I'm not paying for him to spend the night here." "I'm also not shelling out thousands of dollars for you to exhume six dead bodies, based on the word of a senile old man." "Okay?" "So forget about that." "Good night." "Bye." "Let's go." "Wait." "Just..." "Just a second." "Just one second." "How about this?" "Sign off on our overtime today and I promise" "I won't dig up any of those other dead bodies." "We'll just find some other way to solve this thing." "Deal." "But I'm holding you to that." "Oh, and here, I almost forgot." "A counteroffer on a house that you are apparently bidding on was faxed to my office." "It looks like it's more than the asking price." "What?" "Chief, what would you like me to do with these?" "I mean..." "They're obviously a dead end." "Lieutenant Tao, isn't arsenic a heavy metal?" "Which means it would show up on a chem screen of cremated remains." "Right." "So have those ashes analyzed ASAP, please." "Thank you." "Chief, got a minute?" "Seems the old guy did try reaching out to us for help." "Thank you." ""After receiving numerous letters to the department," ""Detective Gordon was dispatched to question the complainant, Donald Baxter."" "According to that report, Gordon found Baxter uncooperative." "In fact, the old guy was more interested in asking questions than answering them." "Seemed like a crank." "So Detective Gordon dumped his complaint in the round file." " I'm sorry, the round file?" " The trash." "But you know what, Chief?" "We get this kind of stuff all the time." "It's hard enough staying on top of the crimes we find, much less the ones people make up." " And the guy was, come on, you know..." " I know exactly what happened." "Mr. Baxter's old and difficult." "And because of that, he was dismissed out of hand." "And I know that that's what happened because it's exactly what I've been trying to do to him myself." "But we didn't just dump a complaint in the trash, a few more human beings went with it." "Thank you." " Were you close with Mr. Kaplan?" " I am close with all our residents." "So you remember these folks then?" "Oh, Mrs. Roberts, she was a sweet lady." "She always talked about her late husband." "She used to say he had a great head of hair." "And then she started to forget she'd ever been married." "Poor Mr. Hepfner, after his daughter passed away, he just sat and stared out the window for a whole year before he died." " You cared about them." " Yes, that's my job." "Getting old is scary." "Some of our residents lose everything." "Family." "Friends." "Money." "They run out of life before they run out of time." "Did any of these people seem sick before they died?" "Yes." "They all had the same disease." "It's called old age." "Listen." "People die at Summerview." "We don't jump to murder as the cause." " Who has access to their drugs?" " The nursing staff." "And the doctor." "Dr. Reisen?" "Do you know where he is?" "I've tried to contact him." "On vacation." "Hawaii for a week with his wife." "Oh, you don't think..." "Dr. Reisen had nothing to do with the day-to-day care." " I supervise the meds." " Any chance drugs get mixed up?" "We do our very best, Miss Johnson, with patients who forget to take their meds, misplace their pills and sometimes simply won't cooperate." "Do you think that Mr. Baxter poisoned Mr. Kaplan himself?" "I really don't know." "Whatever Mr. Baxter's claiming, this nonsense that we had something to do with it, that's not true." "Mr. Baxter burned his bridges with Summerview and with his son." " Wait, wait, his son?" " Yes." "Would you like to have a seat, sir?" " Is my father dead?" " No, he's not." "Thank God." "So what, is he absent without leave again?" "You need me to take him back to the nursing home?" "Actually, Summerview is refusing to take your father back." "He's made some accusations towards the staff regarding..." "Oh, no, this isn't about the poisoning thing again, is it?" "Listen." "It's nothing." "Dad used to be a reporter." "He's just desperate for one more story, that's all." "Well, some of that story seems to be true." "Several people at Summerview may have been slipped some arsenic." "Seriously?" " Wait." "Is Dad under arrest?" " Should he be?" "Of course not." "Look." "He's a nuisance, that's all." "He spent his entire career questioning people." "It's who he is." " Are you close to your father?" " Why?" "You're not, like, suggesting I should take him home with me, are you?" "'Cause I know it sounds cold, but my life is just not conducive to dealing with his baggage right now." " And when is it conducive?" " Excuse me?" "According to Summerview's visitors' log, which everyone has to sign in to enter, you haven't dropped by to see your father in over a year." "And I was wondering if there was some reason..." "What's it to you when I see my Dad?" "I got three kids, an ex-wife in rehab, and last time I had the old guy over for dinner, he got my eleven-year-old son to help him get online to find pictures of people who'd died from cyanide." " I don't need that kind of crap in my life." " Look," "I was only asking about your father to see if you had some reason to be afraid of him." "Afraid of him?" "I hardly know him, okay?" "He spent my entire childhood chasing after newspaper headlines." "Look, I got by without him then, he can get by without me now." "Speaking of which, I need to go." "I left my kids with the babysitter." "Excuse me." "Your dad's here." "Would you like to pop your head in and say hello before you head out?" "Maybe some other time." "I guess Mr. Baxter was right." "He has no family." "So what do you do if you run out of friends, and family, and money?" "It's a reason to kill yourself." "But is it a motive for murder?" "Look, Chief, unless you're going to book the miserable old guy," "I could take him home with me for the night." "It's no problem." "Your call." "Treat him like a witness, but watch him like a killer." "Let me tell you something, I know women like Doris." "She's emotionally attached to the house." "So, a situation like this, you have got to do everything you can to sell her on who you are." "So, in the letter that you write with the new offer, you don't just raise the price a little bit, you talk about the two of you as a couple." "How you see yourselves living in the house, raising a family just like she did." "You even throw in a picture of the cat." "And you offer to help her out on the terms." "She will jump all over it, all right?" " Trust me." "Gary doesn't lie." " We help her out on terms?" "All right, look, escrow's one to two months." "Today's the sixth." "You give our old lady a twenty-day escrow." "End of the month, Doris has your money in her hot little hands." " And so do you, right?" " Excuse me?" "You move another house, especially from someone you listed, and you get cash coming and going." "Isn't that right?" "I don't know, maybe you had to move another unit or two by the end of the month to hit your bonus." "Is that it?" "That's got nothing to do with anything." "Please." "Gary doesn't lie." "What?" "What?" "Where you going?" "It's not just the visitors' log." "It's the dates." "It's the dates!" "Detective Sanchez, may I see those death certificates again please?" "Thank you." "Detective Daniels, were you able to track down that manager at Summerview?" " Judd Whaley." "He's on his way." " Good." "Lieutenant Flynn, if you wouldn't mind asking Lieutenant Provenza" " to bring the suspect back in, please." " I'm on it, Chief." " Has anyone seen Lieutenant Tao?" " Got the chem results on those ashes." " You're gonna want to take a look." " I will, thank you." "Detective Daniels, if you would please, bring Sergeant Gabriel up to speed on Summerview's financials." "Thank you." "Sleep with one eye open?" "Well, he had me up all hours playing Yahtzee." " He's a freak for the dice." " Really?" "Who won?" "What's Whaley doing here?" "We just have a few things to clear up, Mr. Baxter." " He'll accuse me of everything." " Well, we'll see about that, won't we?" "Buzz, would you please give me one of your legal pads?" "Thank you." "You keep insisting there's a story here." "You're the reporter." "Listen to what Mr. Whaley has to say." "Write it all down." "And I'll be back to talk with you in a minute." " You ready, Sergeant?" " Yes, ma'am." "Completely ready." "Mr. Whaley, thank you so much for coming in." " Certainly." " Why don't you have a seat?" "The reason I called you in is" "I think it would be in everyone's best interest if you were to allow Mr. Baxter back into your facility for a while." " Are you serious?" " What's she doing?" "I can't go back there." " We need to hear this." " He really has nowhere else to go." " His family..." " Look, Miss Johnson." "There are other patients in our care, and if Mr. Baxter was poisoning people, well, for one thing, it's a liability nightmare." "I certainly understand your concern, Mr. Whaley, especially since Summerview has quite a reputation to uphold." "Two awards for state excellence, three commendations by the California Seniors Association, and eight bonuses, based upon your occupancy within the last year alone." "All this while coping with the extreme loneliness of your residents, which is something that Mr. Baxter had in common with the seven people he claims were murdered." "And I've noticed that not only had our victims run out of money, but they had also, according to your visitors' log, exhausted their supply of guests." "No one came to see them anymore." "That happens to many more of our residents than one might like to believe." "Well, here's something a bit more unusual." "This is all that's left of five of our victims." "The sixth was lost in the family move." "This is a testament to how badly they were ignored." "Odd, isn't it?" "People who have guests, live." "People who don't, die." "Well, the effect of our emotions on the physical body is still a mysterious process." "But believe it or not, some of these people likely passed away from depression." "I believe not, Mr. Whaley, but then I have an advantage over you." "Because you can test for arsenic in cremated remains." "And what we have here are five containers of poisonous ash." "My God." "Oh, but you would never ask us to take Mr. Baxter back if you thought he was responsible for this." "No, I wouldn't." "But I don't think Mr. Baxter is responsible because he doesn't have a motive." "What he does have is a lawsuit." "Because he brought these poisonings to Summerview's attention, and you attempted to drug him with antipsychotics." "Well, that was Dr. Reisen's diagnosis." "I don't prescribe drugs." "I'm not a doctor." "I'm the manager." "The manager who collected the bonuses, based on how many rooms are occupied during the first five days of every month." "Can you see a pattern developing here, sir?" "You see, it's really quite remarkable because all of your abandoned Medicaid patients, they all died in the fourth week of every month." "Giving you time to rebook their rooms with full paying clients from your waiting list." "Why would I do that?" "Well, according to your files, every month that Summerview has an occupancy rate below..." "Three percent, you collect a $2,500 bonus." "You had eight of them last year." "Now, I'm thinking that maybe you got lucky and someone died naturally on your timetable, but still, you poisoned seven people for under $20,000." "Sergeant?" "Mr. Whaley, you have the right to remain silent." " Anything you say..." " She's good." "...can and will be used against you." " Yeah, she's all right, I guess." " Lf you cannot afford an attorney..." " I taught her most of it." "... one will be appointed to you by the State." "You've heard and understood these rights?" "You're misrepresenting everything." "We have warrants out as we speak to search your home, your office and your car." "All I have to do is find the arsenic." "Just one little package of Rough on Rats and it's going to look very bad for you." "Mr. Whaley, absent your explanation," "I'm going to have to arrest you on seven counts of murder in the first degree, which is a very different crime from mercy killings." "You know, Nurse Townsend told us that these people were sick and unhappy." "It must've been very hard to watch them suffer day after day." "They wanted to die." "There was no quality of life for these people, Miss Johnson." "Three of them had a form of dementia and nowhere to go." "Mr. Kaplan, well, he was suffering from congestive heart disease." "And if you'll just pause and reflect for a moment." "By controlling the schedule of when these poor people expired, which is all I ever did, making sure they didn't die between the first and the fifth, which would have been pointless, by managing their deaths," "I was able to maximize the value of their passing by creating room for people who could better benefit from our service." "People with larger bank accounts." "Look, I'm not the person who turned old age into a business." "And honestly, the bonuses I received, as you pointed out, were very small." "Mr. Whaley, you poisoned these people." "Well, that's one way of looking at it." "Yes." "But really, who cares?" "Their families obviously don't." "These old people were dead already." "All I did was make it official." "And by doing it my way, everybody got what they wanted." "So, I repeat, who cares?" "Unfortunately for you, Mr. Baxter." "Well, you have a point there." "So, how about this?" "I will refrain from expediting the terminal phase of any future resident's stay at Summerview, and Mr. Baxter can come back and stay with us for as long as he likes." "And if he agrees not to sue, we'll give him a year for free." "While that is a very generous offer, Mr. Whaley," "I'm afraid the state of California would reduce my efficiency rating if I didn't arrest you on seven counts of murder in the first degree." " Which is what I'm doing right now." " What?" "Why are you..." "I just explained to you." "Now, now, hold on one moment!" "I thought you said mercy killing and first degree murder were very different crimes." "They are." "But the punishment for both is exactly the same." "Are you actually talking about putting me in prison?" "Don't worry, it's not that different from Summerview, really." "You have to sign in to visit people." "Friends and relatives tend to forget you exist." "And at some point, the state of California might just put you out of your misery." "Well, I certainly don't deserve this." "You're right, Mr. Whaley." "Unfortunately, it's the worst I can do to you." " Did you write it all down?" " Well, you gave me an exclusive." "I didn't know if I had another story in me." "At least, this way, people will read Bernie's obituary, won't they?" "Well, I'm sure they will, Mr. Baxter." "Would you like us to arrange someplace for you to go?" "Or would you like money for a hotel room?" "Well, really I was hoping I could go back to Summerview." " What?" " Well, I don't have to worry about being poisoned anymore." "And it really is the only home I have, Miss Johnson." "And the Summerview Senior Living Corporation just might feel some sense of financial obligation." "I could wind up living there scot-free till the day I die." "The golden years." "Rent-free for the first time since I sold my house." "House." "Oh, my." "I almost forgot." " Lieutenant Provenza..." " I've got it covered, Chief." " Thank you." " Here we go, Mr. Baxter." " And good luck, Mr. Baxter." " You, too, young lady." " Thank you." " You know, if there'd been a great-looking broad in the department back when this was my beat, I might never have retired." "Gary Evans dropped your letter by earlier." "I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me, knowing you feel so strongly about the house." " It's all lies." " I'm sorry?" "In our letter." "We made stuff up because we wanted you to like us." "We took advantage of you." "And it was a terrible, dreadful thing to do." " And I'm so, so sorry." " But Gary Evans..." "Gary lies." " So you're pulling your offer?" " It just wouldn't feel right." "I'd be worried about how you were spending your retirement." "So, yes, I'm pulling the offer." " Oh, but that's wonderful, dear." " Why?" "I hate to say this, but I was never going to sell this house in a million years." " Excuse me?" " That's why I upped the price." "I didn't think I'd get an offer so soon in this market." "I don't understand." "When my husband died, I was a little lonely." "It's so difficult to meet people in Los Angeles." "I tried going to AA for a little while, but it turns out you have to quit drinking completely, which seemed extreme." " So you put your house on the market..." " To have a little company, yes." "Nothing serious." "Just nice people like you and Fritz, stopping by, admiring the house." "Say, I have a lot of chocolate chip cookies left, and I'll give you a bag or two if you promise not to tell Gary." "Hi, Mama." "No, everything's fine." "I miss you, too." "Actually, I was hoping maybe you and Daddy could come for a visit soon." "No, we haven't found a new place yet, but we'll make room."