"Is this why you brought up the kennel thing?" "Kirk, admit it." "It's why you were on about Halloween pranks." "I don't know what you're on about." "You set all this up." "The broken vase isn't even mine." "Did you get it from the charity shop?" "Maria" "  What I really want to know is what you've done with my rug?" "What rug?" "The rug that was underneath the coffee table that you tipped over." "Kirk, I know this is you." "Going on about me loving Halloween." "Am I supposed to think this is real blood an' all on my wall?" "I swear" "  Do you know,  I've been blaming Caz for all this." "Aidan's going to think I'm so gullible." "It's not me!" "Just get round here now." "I want to see the whites of your eyes." "And if you dare turn up as Uncle Fester, I swear I'm gonna slap you." "That London air messes with people's heads." "No wonder Southerners are weird." "What's up with her?" "She thinks I've played a Halloween trick - fake blood and that." "And have you?" "No." "So what's she blaming you for?" "I told Beth about a time she had me thinking the kennels were haunted." "A ghost?" "Poltergeist." "Turned out to be some windy-up toys in a crisp packet." "I wasn't to know, was I?" "And that's why she thinks this is you now?" "Is that load of cotton mix still in the van?" "Er, yeah." "Is it OK if I nip round to Maria's?" "She thinks I've done summat spooky in her flat." "Summat spooky?" "I only saw her half an hour ago." "She said it was a mess but..." "I shouldn't have told you." "She thinks you'll think she's gullible." "I shouldn't have told you that either." "I'll go with you." "Come on." "I don't want tea." "Let's just all sit down." "No, thanks." "Zee, please..." "I'm sorry, Sonia, but this has nothing to do with you." "(FRONT DOOR OPENS)" "That gym was my Dad's." "You don't just help yourself to cash." "Hey." "What are you doing leaving Rana out on the street?" "We'll lose our table." "This is family business, so I'll go." "What is family business?" "I should have stayed working there, protected what dad had built up." "This is a ridiculous overreaction." "You would say that!" "That's enough!" "Show some respect!" "What, like you are?" "What on earth has happened?" "I borrowed some money from the gym account and now Zeedan here talks to me like I'm some criminal." "You borrowed from the business?" "For what?" "For Alya." "I thought we had money for that." "Savings." "We do." "But it takes 60 days to withdraw from the savings account..." "Ah.  ..which I'm in the process of doing." "This money was a loan to bridge that." "So why not tell Dev?" "Because it'll be back in the account any day." "Yeah(!" ")" "I have the paperwork." "Do you want me to go and get it?" "Would you rather that than go out with Rana?" "No, he wouldn't." "Go on, you two." "Zeedan." "Food." "That'll fix him." "And next time, check your facts... before you start throwing round accusations." "Don't be too hard on him, Sharif." "He's a sensitive boy." "Things bother him." "Takes after his father." "Can I have a lime and soda, ta?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "Bet you're glad you're back, aren't you, next door?" "Oh, er, yeah." "It's harder in a way though." "How come?" "Oh, I don't know." "Well, everywhere's my dad, innit?" "And Deirdre." "I sat there last night, looking at all their stuff, and just felt time ticking on, you know." "And when Si comes round and sees me there he turns round and walks out." "Ta." "Well, can't Tracy speak to him?" "Tracy's not talking to me." "She's convinced it's my fault my dad won't let us visit." "So..." "Bet you're glad you asked how I am now, aren't you?" "Well, you might want to start practising, 'I'm fine, ta.'" "Truth is, I'm not used to doing hard things when I'm sober." "He might change his mind today, let me visit." "I'll keep asking." "That's all I can do." "Hey, steady on." "You only get one free one, you know." "(GIGGLES)" "I'm like this with fancy dress." "I find it wholly liberating." "It's as if this is the true me and the Mary you know and love is just a facade." "Yeah?" "I thought you were getting your Jack Nicholson outfit on." "I've told you, I'm not Jack Nicholson." "I plough my own furrow when it comes to fancy dress." "Oh, really?" "Well, I'm not seeing much of a furrow." "So you'd best get ploughing." "Just...just be prepared for my entrance." "OK." "Oh, I knew you'd turn up." "She's Mystic Mary." "Scotch for me please, Eva." "I knew you'd say that." "And whatever Mary's having." "Oh, thank you." "And for that, I shall tell your future." "I'm not too sure I wanna know." "Ssh." "There's something coming through." "I know what you will be doing later." "Yeah?" "What?" "Bobbing." "What?" "Apples." "With me, Asha and Aadi." "Cool." "Actually, there is something I would like to consult you about concerning the future." "Oh, anything." "Just let me get ready, all right?" "Yeah?" "Mm-hm." "Good." "If I asked Erica to move in, would she say yes?" "You want to ask her to move in?" "It doesn't affect your place in my home, Mary." "Mystic Mary." "Yeah, OK, Mystic Mary." "Your room is still your own." "I just want to know if she would say...yes." "And would that be today?" "Maybe, I don't..." "Yeah,  why not today?" "Yes." "She would say..." "And it's coming through." "She would say... no." "She'd say no?" "Mm." "She told me that you're making her trial a uniform for the shop." "It's an idea." "Well, she's not a happy bunny." "In fact, I'd put her more on the boiling bunny spectrum." "Right." "All right?" "She bunked off, right?" "We both did." "What's happened?" "Nowt." "Where's Faye?" "She thought you'd have a go, but I said if she needs to be here, she should come and you wouldn't kick off." "I won't kick off." "Where is she?" "She's..." "She's gone for the op, hasn't she?" "She'll think I don't care." "I weren't here." "She'd never think that." "You can be here when she comes back, yeah?" "It's just not fair." "I know." "It's a bit sinister." "It's not sinister, it's pathetic." "It's a joke." "I reckon it's from a smaller hand than mine." "Right, well, it's Caz then." "You think she'd play a prank like this?" "Yeah, I do." "If it got her some attention." "What if I'd have come back with Liam?" "Kids love spooky stuff." "It's good, isn't it?" "It does look like actual blood." "I could kill her. (MOBILE RINGTONE)" "I never even charged her rent for living here." "Kate." "What?" "I'm 51 years old." "But you could pass for your 30s." "Mm-hm." "T-shirt, fine." "But, honey, it will look great." "A baseball cap?" "Let's just say, it's a 'uh-uh' from me." "Right." "You're not even going to try it on?" "We are equals, Dev." "I am not sitting here dressed like a teenage shop girl." "You're far from being a teenager." "I didn't mean that, I just meant..." "I..." "I..." "I just appreciate  the feedback." "So what?" "That's it." "Discussion over?" "Are we wearing uniforms or not?" "Move in with me." "What?" "It's like you said, we're equals and er..." "Look, I was talking to somebody about my tenants today and to refer to you in that way just seems so...wrong." "Live with me." "Say yes." "Er...can I... ..can I think about it?" "Sure." "Hey." "I'll be here." "Or home." "You know, our home, maybe." "Before you say anything, I apologise." "I took a short-term temporary loan which I was " "Listen, it's a gym, it's not a bank." "You think I'd steal from you?" "You know me better than that." "Forgive me?" "It's a wind-up." "Caz sounds terrified." "I've never heard her like that." "When did she leave the message?" "Dinner time." "When did Maria get home?" "Here you go." "Who needs posh meals out when we can share chips?" "I'm sorry." "I know you were looking forward to it." "Is it the row with your grandad?" "I just started thinking I'd got everything wrong." "I should never have left the gym." "You like cooking though, don't you?" "I wish I knew what they would have said." "Who?" "(SIGHS)" "My mum and dad." "About what?" "About me, my life, what I'm doing." "Mum was convinced I'd be an Olympic swimmer." "Seriously?" "Sometimes I imagine sitting them down, telling them what I'm doing." "I try to work out what they'd say, only I can't any more." "I can't imagine." "I've changed, time's passed and now..." "You miss them." "It shows how much they meant." "All mine do is judge me and try and change me." "The only thing I imagine sitting them down to say is that" "I'm moving to Australia." "Or Ibiza." "Or the moon." "Anywhere." "On your own or with me?" "With you, of course." "The orphan and the outcast." "Hey, we should do." "Start fresh." "Except we like our jobs and have no money." "We can still start again, be our own family." "Let's get married." "What?" "Marry me." "You're not thinking straight." "You don't want to marry me." "I didn't say that." "So you do?" "You're upset!" "Then say yes." "Look, just..." "I'm sorry." "Rana, what?" "Talk to me." "I need to think." "Where is she?" "Kate, I said I'll sort this." "Sort what?" "What the hell is that?" "Kate." "It looks dead realistic, doesn't it?" "This lock's bust." "This just keeps getting better and better(!" ")" "Why did you phone Kirk, making out this was him?" "You won't solve anything this way." "You knew I'd be there." "Was it to fool me?" "Kate." "I want to know what happened." "We'll work it out, but not by kicking and screaming." "Your ex is a game-player and a troublemaker, yeah?" "Yeah?" "So, let's figure this out calmly." "Go home." "Let me deal with this." "I might not have wanted to be with her any more, but if you've hurt her..." "Why would you even think that?" "You kicked off at her." "And now this message." "What message?" "Let me see." "No chance." "So you can delete it?" "Cheers." "She just conked out." "I reckon she's had a drink." "I don't know." "I might have to let that go this once." "She didn't sleep last night." "I heard her faffing about in her room." "You didn't sleep either?" "You have to look after yourself, mate." "My head won't settle." "Keep going over and over it." "If I'd done something different." "You did all you could." "Harping back's helping no-one." "If I can leave David alone, you can leave go of just torturing yourself, mate." "Anna's our priority." "It's gonna be months this, innit?" "Years." "Yeah." "I reckon it is." "She's right about one thing, our kid." "It's not fair." "# THE SPECIALS:" "Ghost Town" "Do you think he was serious?" "Oh, he was serious." "And do you not want to marry him?" "It's not as simple as that." "He was all emosh about his dad and his mum and his grandad." "I mean, he was like a walking Chemical Romance  song." "So?" "I don't think he was proposing." "Not really." "He was clinging to the life raft." "I can't be that for him." "Just being emosh doesn't mean he's not sincere, does it?" "Well, I suppose the only question really is, do you want to live with him or not?" "I don't know." "What do his kids think?" "Oh." "I never even asked if he'd told them." "He's not going to ask you to move in unless he's cleared it with his kids, is he?" "True." "They'll not be happy, mind." "Yeah, well, Dev's kids have had a lot of fresh starts." "You can't exactly blame them for being cautious." "Cautious?" "They're like Chucky 1 and Chucky 2." "(LAUGHS)" "Well, put him on probation." "Try it." "It doesn't have to be forever, does it?" "Unless they brick me into the outhouse.  (CHUCKLES)" "Oi." "Oh, Eva." "I think Steve's ready for his drum roll." "Honestly, the amount of fuss he's made." "(BELL CLANGS)" "Ladies and gentleman, the landlord's fancy dress." "This'll be great." "I can't wait." "Kirk!" "Oh, no." "Awks." "(SIGHS) Jack Nicholson it is then." "(LAUGHTER) Come on, Cousin Itt." "(LAUGHTER)" "(DOOR BUZZER) I'm not ready for Liam yet." "I text Eva." "She'll take him to ours." "Hello?" "Who?" "Sure." "Come up." "(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)" "Police." "What?" "Maria Connor?" "Yeah?" "We'd like a little chat." "Oh, hey." "How are you doing?" "No wait." "Just..." "Please." "Just wait one minute." "Don't you want to know how your grandad is?" "You know, me and your grandad..." "Sometimes..." "It's been difficult." "Different times, over the years, we've let each other down." "How is he?" "I mean, it's me, really." "In recent years, it's been me letting him down, but when I thought..." "When I thought he could..." "How is he?" "I don't know, Si." "He won't see me." "So you lied." "I don't want you ever to feel like I do, like you could have done more, could have done things different." "I haven't done anything." "No, Si,  I know." "I know." "I know that." "But you hate me now." "Just like me and your grandad have been, too many times." "I don't want that." "I don't want that for us." "I deserve it." "It's my fault." "But I want you to know that I love you." "And for the rest of my life I'm going to try and be a better dad to you." "And I'm going to be a better son to your grandad." "You don't have to do anything." "You can keep hating me, I don't blame you, but I'm not going to stop trying to make things right, son." "Si." "And the last time you saw Caroline was before you went to London?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I asked her to be gone for when I got back." "Why?" "Because I wanted my flat back." "You know?" "It was only ever temporary." "But obviously I've upset her." "You think you upset her?" "You must get a lot of this - hoaxes on Halloween." "Mostly we get call-outs to old folks terrorised by trick or treaters." "Kids want cold hard cash these days." "Give them a satsuma and " "Is there anywhere you can stay, if we don't locate Caroline?" "But this is a joke." "It's a wind-up." "She can stay with us." "I'm sure you're right, but we have to follow procedure." "I've only been home two minutes." "I want to stay here." "She's done this on purpose." "I thought you said your home was in London with your husband..." "Pablo?" "You said you stay in the flat cos you like working in the salon downstairs." "Yeah, yeah, no." "That's right." "I call them both my home." "I know it's inconvenient, but please don't clean up." "Well, no more than you obviously have already." "You can grab a few things, my colleague will come with you." "It's a nightmare." "We have to conduct inquiries." "Hopefully it won't take long." "Do you know anything about a voicemail message?" "Kate." "Go on, grab some stuff." "You and Liam will be fine with us." "Let them do their job." "Now, promise me neither of you are going to call Childline." "(CHUCKLES) All this trouble for an apple." "If it was a computer game..." "I used to be top bobber in my school year." "Come on, don't look like that, Asha." "It's just a game." "Hi." "Hi." "You can't come in unless you get an apple." "Ah." "Some kind of initiation thing, is it?" "Yeah." "Yeah, but you don't have to." "She does." "I'm not too big on apples, more...grapes." "The er...fizzy kind." "Does this mean that you've..." "I knew she wouldn't do it." "I will." "I will." "Shift up." "Right." "Champagne for the adults, a game with the kids." "If that's what it takes to live together." "Here we go." "(WATER SPLASHES) Damn." "She's not moving in." "Ssh." "Ha, ha, ha!" "Ha, ha!" "Right." "Come along, children." "Upstairs." "Come on." "I've brought some ghost stories." "Chop, chop, chop." "She says, risking nightmares." "You can come down later on to say good night." "Congratulations." "Glasses." "You have told them?" "We need to...to raise a toast." "To our future." "To one great, big, happy..." "Mwah!" "..family." "I'll get the glasses." "The operation went as well as we would hope." "We've got to wait and see how her body responds, but the signs are good." "Is she awake?" "No, she's sedated." "It's probably best not to sit with her for too long." "Thanks." "Thanks." "I'm here, OK?" "It's not going to be worse than before." "She won't know I'm here." "But you will." "And she'll find out." "She'd be proud of you being here." "I am." "Come on." "(MACHINE BEEPS RHYTHMICALLY)" "See?" "One step closer to being better." "When will that be?" "Soon." "You'll see." "Ooh, how much have I missed you?" "This much!" "Ooh, no, actually, it's this much cos my arms are longer." "(LAUGHS) Come on, it's past your bedtime, but I need to hear about school." "Let's get you tucked in." "So who phoned the police?" "Must have been Kate." "And did they ask about this London thingy?" "I can't believe she married some fella for no money." "And what's this about blood on the walls?" "It's a wind-up." "They need to find wherever Caz is hiding out then they'll drop it." "Did you hear this answerphone message?" "(DOOR BUZZER)" "Kate wouldn't have phoned the police if she wasn't worried." "Maria didn't hurt Caz." "It's a bit weird though, innit?" "Hello?" "Yeah." "Right." "It's the police." "(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS) He wants some water." "He's been chatting too much." "There's some plastic cups under the sink." "Er, the police are here." "You're kidding." "What for now?" "Sorry to bother you again." "We just want to  check whether you know anything about this phone." "No." "Why?" "It was found beside the hairdressers,  below your flat." "Are you saying I chucked it out the window and smashed it?" "Is that your theory?" "No!" "I just feel like I'm in some sort of bizarre dream." "Any sign of Caz yet..." "Caroline?" "No." "If you hear from her, could you contact us straightaway?" "Course." "But you think it's a hoax?" "It may be." "Though if this phone is Caroline's, it'd be odd that she damaged expensive property for a hoax." "It wouldn't surprise me." "We'll keep looking." "In the meantime, please stay local." "We may want to talk to you again." "Oh, and your flat has been secured to preserve evidence." "What?" "Hang on a minute?" "So I can't go back even if I need something?" "I've told you that I'm staying here." "Why isn't that good enough?" "I'm sorry, it's out of bounds." "Yeah, but" " Procedure, Mrs Connor." "We have to treat it as a potential crime scene." "So my flat is a crime scene?" "subtitles by Deluxe"