"Nikolai Gogol's THE INSPECTOR GENERAL" "Cast" "As Khlestakov" "Screenplay by / Literary Advisor" "Director of Photography Production Designer / Costume Designer" "Music by / Lyrics by Produced by" "Made by Audio System" "Directed by" "Assigned by" "Don't look into the mirror, if you have a splay mouth!" "Well?" "Will you tell us where our town is located?" "So will you tell us or not?" "Is it in America, Africa, Australia, or in Europe?" "Well?" "Or is our town on the Moon, eh?" "You blockhead!" "Go to the corner!" "Go on!" "He thinks we live on the Moon." "No, children." "Our town is on Earth." "On the globe, on the map and we can be proud of it." "As even if its inhabitants and dignitaries could be found in any other town in the world, our town is striving to be an exemplar and a mirror of the whole world." "Put everything away!" "The hetman is going shopping." "What are you packing?" " Cloth." "Why are you packing it?" " It's expensive cloth." "If it's expensive, have it sent to my flat!" "Hurry up!" "Has mail arrived for Petr Ivanovich Bobchinsky?" "Have you mail for Petr Ivanovich Dobchinsky?" "Nothing, gentlemen, nothing." "No mail has arrived for gentlemen farmers Bobchinsky or Dobchinsky for ten years now." "Well, nothing doing." " It can't be helped." "Very well." "Mr. A. A. Skvoznik-Dmuchanovsky" "Should I open it or not, open it or not..." "Open it or not." "I should not." "I should." "An inspector!" " Inspector!" "An Inspector General from St. Petersburg and on a secret mission on top of it!" "You see!" "We had absolute peace and here we have it!" "Good Lord, who is the letter from?" " A friend of mine from St. Petersburg." "He writes:" "My Dear Friend, Godfather and Benefactor and that he must inform me..." "Oh, here it is." "I hurry to inform you that an official has arrived with an order to inspect the whole gubernia and especially our district." "He works oneself off as a private person." "And because I know that like everyone else, you have some little sins from here on, he writes about family affairs." "And in the end he writes:" "I advise you to be cautious," "I advise you all to be cautious." "As he may come at any moment, if he has not arrived already and is living among you." "He's been staying here for a fortnight on trust and doesn't pay his bills!" "You and your master, you are both knaves!" "And tell your master that he's a rascal!" "And that who doesn't pay, won't eat!" "But, sir..." " I won't mollycoddle him." "I'll have him locked up and complain to the town hetman!" "As the Town Hetman, I informed you beforehand, gentlemen." "Beware, gentlemen." "And you in particular, Zemlyanika." "Me?" "Why me in particular?" " Because he'll be most interested in those charitable institutions of yours." "Have the floors washed." " I will." "They haven't been washed for ten years at least." " They weren't." "And buy two cuspidors." " I'll buy three." "And spray them with carbolic acid." "So that it smells like in hospital and not in a pub." "The patients will do everything today." " And make sure they don't smoke." "And if they do, they mustn't smoke that cheap tobacco." "It would be also advisable to make the patients look better!" "And that court house of yours is also in a terrible mess." "Mine?" " Yes, yours." "You keep geese and other fowl in the hall." "You have pigeons and chicken grain in the bookshelves instead of files." "And instead of prisoners, you keep hounds in jail." "A farm is a nice thing, but don't make pig-sties out of offices, it's not proper, my friend." " But..." " Moreover..." "You accept bribes." " I do not!" "I only accepted the hounds and that is not a bribe." "A hound or not, it is a bribe." "And what if someone's fur coat costs five hundred roubles?" "Or his wife's shawl..." " Very well, let us say a hound is not a bribe." "But you don't believe in God and don't go to church!" "You should be on your guard too, Schoolmaster!" "Me?" "I didn't do anything!" "And where are the books from the town library?" "Where are they?" "Bargain books!" "Two pounds for two roubles." "They cost five hundred roubles." "But let's not talk about it." "You ought to keep an eye on that history teacher." "He lectures with such ardor that he's often beside himself." "I listened to him once and as long as he spoke about the Assyrians, and the Babylonians, all went well." "But once he came to Alexander the Great..." "Alexander the Great rushed into the fiercest battle as a lion!" "The enemy began retreating." "Alexander the Great was victorious!" "Alexander the Great was a hero!" "Alexander the Great indeed was a hero, but why break chairs?" "It inflicts damage upon the public treasury, gentlemen, and you see what it leads to." "An inspector!" "And an inspector likes that dogs out pokes his nose into everything!" "Good hail, what a fine helping!" "Good hail, what a fine helping!" "Where's our meal?" " We're hungry." "Just a moment, gentlemen." "I'm just inspecting, gentlemen." "Inspect..." "...or!" "Come here!" "Who is he?" " When did he arrive?" "He's here for a fortnight!" "An official from St. Petersburg, a Mr. Khlestakov." "An official?" " From St. Petersburg?" "You see, gentlemen, I am not afraid." "But what if there was some denunciation." "Why would an inspector otherwise come here?" "I expect the door will open suddenly and he'll storm in." "An extraordinary event!" " Unexpected news!" "Quite unforeseen!" " What's the matter?" "I come from the inn." " No, I come from the inn!" "He accompanied me." " Allow me, Petr Ivanovich," "I shall tell them." " No, Petr Ivanovich, I'll tell them." "Sit down, gentlemen." "Tell us what happened?" "Let's start from the beginning." " Yes, from the beginning." "We were terribly hungry." "So we dropped in the inn." " Yes, we rushed into the inn, and there - crickey!" " Indeed, gentlemen, crickey!" "Standing in front of us is..." " Who?" "!" "A stranger." " Young." " Serious..." "A gentleman in plain clothes." "Walking to..." " And fro." "Looking quite serious." " Composed." "That look!" " Those manners!" "So, we told ourselves..." " There's something fishy about that." "I nodded towards the waiter." "Come here." "And he says:" "It's Ivan Alexandrovich Khlestakov from St. Petersburg." "He's heading for the Saratov Gubernia and he's been here for a fortnight now!" "For a fortnight!" " He doesn't leave the inn." "He doesn't pay for anything, he lives on credit!" "That's why I told myself - well now!" " No, I was the first to say "well now"." "I was the first to say "well now" and then you said "well now"." "Well now." "Why is he here?" "He is..." " The inspector!" "The inspector!" " For heaven's sake!" "Just think what happened in the two weeks?" "The sergeant's wife was whipped, the prisoners weren't fed, the streets are dirty!" "Gentlemen, let's set to work!" "Give the alarm!" "Anton!" "He left." "And it is all your fault!" "For being so foppish and sluggish." "One more pin, one more ribbon." " But, Mother!" "Hush!" "It's your fault they left without us." "Now I don't even know how the inspector looks." "What color are his eyes, how does he dress." "A tail-coat." "What if I sell my tail-coat?" "I'm terribly hungry." " So am I." "Terribly hungry." "Like master like servant." "Did I ask you something, Joseph?" "If I had money, we'd go home in an equipage, I inside and you liveried at the back." "And before the crowd, you would step down and announce..." " Ivan Alexandrovich Khlestakov from St. Petersburg." "Someone's coming." "The innkeeper says it's the last time." "What did you bring us?" "Soup and roast-meat." "How come just two courses?" " Just two." "I do not accept that!" "Wait, leave it here." "What's this?" "What's this?" "It's a helping for a sick man." "And not for a man who hasn't eaten for two days!" "Where's the starter?" " There's no starter." "And why not?" "This morning, I saw two fellows in the kitchen stuffing themselves with salmon and God knows what else!" "Aren't I such a guest too?" " No, you're not." "Why not?" " Because they pay." "I don't give a damn about that!" "What's this?" "What's this?" "Is this supposed to be roast-meat?" "It's a roast axe, not meat!" "Rascals!" "Scoundrels!" "So this is how you treat me!" "Ah, the innkeeper." "Here's your soup." "What's up?" "What's the matter?" " He's angry." "Who's angry?" " The official from St. Petersburg." "The official from St. Petersburg!" "How could you get him so angry!" "And he didn't even..." " Hush!" " Shh!" "But..." " Hush!" "He's an inspector!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Who was that?" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Gendarmes!" "That innkeeper is such a bugger." "He peached on me to the hetman and the hetman brought gendarmes." "What if they really put me in jail!" "That can't be possible." "They can't take me through the town like some merchant or tradesman!" "I'm an official from St. Petersburg." " Yes, sir." " What?" "Indeed!" "I will put it straight to him!" "I'm an official from St. Petersburg!" "How dare you!" " Yes, sir!" "How dare you!" "Come in!" "Good day, sir." " Good day." "I beg your pardon." " Not at all." "And... how dare you?" "As the local hetman," "I consider it my duty to look after the well-being of travelers and fellow citizens on the whole, to make sure no harm is done to them." "To ensure order, and on the whole..." " And on the whole, and order on the whole." "The meat tasted like an axe and I spilled the soup." "Don't be angry, sir, I'm not to blame." "Believe me, meat on our market is usually fine." "And God knows where the rascal got it from." "I beg you not to tell anyone else." "If you wish, you could move." "Move?" " To another flat." "To jail." "So you think" "I'll go to jail because of you." "Catch me doing it!" "How dare you!" "Do you know who I am?" "I'm an official from St. Petersburg!" "I'm not going with you anywhere!" "If I go somewhere, I'll go complain to the Minister!" "Have mercy." "I have a wife and a child!" "Why should I care!" "Should I go with you just because you have a wife and a child, eh?" "And end up in jail?" "All for your pretty eyes!" "And as the whole town is such a mess," "I'll go complain to the Tsar himself!" "Forgive me, please." "It's all because of my inexperience." "The Lord knows!" "Kindly see that the dismal circumstances..." "If I ever accepted a small graft here and there, it was merely something for the kitchen, or a trinket for my wife or child." "A trifle." " This is no trifle." "This is a question of big money." " I didn't take any money!" "Only trifles or a loan..." "A loan, eh?" "I can't lend you money." "I have no money myself." "It's my duty to help travelers." "If you allow me, I would..." " The thing is..." "The thing is that a certain captain fleeced me of all my money and so I would need," "let's say two hundred roubles." "Well, if you allow me," "I would..." "I can see that you are a considerate person." "And this completely changes the whole situation." "He took it!" " He took it." "He took it." "He took the money." "Let's hope everything will be settled." "Bring him our best food, quick!" "Sit down." "The room seems rather damp." "Well, that wouldn't be so bad." "But the bedbugs are big as beans." "And they bite like mad dogs." "Oh!" "Such a prominent guest like you suffers?" "And from what?" "From miserable, anonymous bedbugs!" "Could I ask you, Your Grace?" "You may." "Could I humbly offer to Your Excellency a beautiful and airy flat in my house." "It would be an honor for me." "Indeed, it would be an honor for you." "I accept." "My wife and my daughter will be most pleased, if you do us the honor and step on the porch of our house." "With pleasure." "I demand only four things." "Respect and loyalty, loyalty and respect." "My manservant Joseph." "Get out!" "There's no time for this!" "Refreshment will be served during the tour of the town." "You shall see for yourself how all is in apple-pie order." "We shall inspect the jail and..." "What's all this jail business?" "Let's inspect the storerooms, the kitchens, et cetera." " As you wish." "Your Grace, would you allow me to write a note to my wife, to prepare to welcome such a prominent guest?" "Of course." " Oh yes." "Could I write it on this bill?" "Thank you." "Oh my!" "What a pleasant surprise." "Did you hurt yourself?" "It's nothing." "We don't mean to disturb you." "It's venison in cream sauce." " It is, Your Excellency." "And a pikeperch is in the oven." " Indeed, Your Excellency." "Take this to my wife." "And will there be a starter?" "Yes, Your Excellency." " Very well!" "Good day, Anna Andreyevna." "Shame on you!" "You ran away and I didn't know what was happening." "But..." " I nursed your little Ivan." "And your Lizzie, while you treat me like that." "Good Lord, I was in such a hurry to pay my respects to you I can hardly catch my breath." "Go on, tell me what happened." "Anton Antonovich sends this note." "Who is that man?" "A general?" "He's not a general, though he certainly grades up with a general." "He has such authority and manners." "The hetman must be writing something very important." " Is he?" "I kiss your hand, my dear, and remain your Anton Skvoznik-Dmuchanovsky." "I do not understand." "Here's the beginning, Anna Andreyevna!" "He outran me with the end." " I see." "I hurry to inform you, my dear, that my position was rather somber, yet having faith in God, two pickles for five kopecks each, half a serving of caviar." "What do the pickles mean?" "Anton Antonovich wrote it in a hurry on a piece of paper at the inn." "It was a bill." " It was." "Yet having faith in God and His mercy," "I trust everything shall end well." "Prepare a room for a prominent guest forthwith." "The one decorated with yellow tapestry." "It must be done at once." "Such a noble gentleman!" "Where did they go?" "They went to inspect..." "...the charitable institutions." "How did I teach you." "As soon as the door opens, you will say:" "Welcome, Inspector General." "Welcome, Inspector General." "Where were you?" "Sit down at once!" "Sit down!" "Don't put me to shame!" "Welcome, Inspector General." "Should I put the goat in the yard or leave it here?" "Out!" "Out with it!" "Quick!" "Hush!" "Quiet!" "Who the devil is it this time!" "Welcome, Inspector General." "Thank you for such a kind welcome." "This is a charming orphanage." "This is a school, Your Excellency." "Oh, it is a school, eh?" "Dear children, how old are you?" "How old is he?" "Seven, Excellency." " Seven?" "Can that be?" "Really, Your Excellency, he's seven." "Is it possible to get so dirty in seven years?" "No!" " It's broken, Excellency." "The chair?" " Yes." "When was it broken?" "The chair was broken during the reign of Alexander the Great." "It lasted quite long." "How do you like your school, children?" "Your teacher likes it here." "The children too, Excellency, they can't do without their school." "That is praiseworthy." "So, those who cannot do without the school will stay here, while the rest will have holidays for two weeks." "Yippee!" "They can't do without it, eh?" "It seems your pupils rolled away like a heap of melons." "Your Excellency." " Very well then." "I'm deeply touched." "Shall we continue?" "Thank you." " This way." "An adorable boy." "Your Excellency!" "I'm innocent and they had me whipped." "That miserable town hetman had me whipped although I'm innocent!" "I swear she is lying, Your Excellency!" " I'm not lying!" " Go away!" "I'm not lying, Your Excellency!" " Go away!" "This way, Your Excellency." "Let us continue, Your Excellency." "You need a tamer for this snake." "Where shall we go now?" "To the town jail, Your Excellency." " To jail?" "What's all this jail business about?" "Why don't you show me where I'm staying instead." "As you wish, Your Excellency, the room is ready." "This way, Your Excellency." "Over here, please." "The General will live here." "Oh my, I was so hungry." "Terribly hungry." "When will the General come?" " What general?" "Your master, of course." "Who told you he's a general?" "Isn't he a general?" " He is." "See." " But under cover!" "Under cover, eh?" " Yes." "And is his ranking higher or lower than of a true general?" "Higher." "But you know nothing!" "And not a word to anyone!" "Of course." "It's such a drudgery." "Such drudgery." "It's him!" " It must be him!" "He's handsome." " Quite a good looker." "He's such a handsome man." "Come in, Your Excellency." " Your institutions are remarkable." "Besides, I like how you show everything to travelers." "In other towns, they've shown me nothing." "In other towns, forgive me for being so daring, town hetmans care about their own benefit." "I care about the prosperity of the state and the welfare of the people." "Your Excellency, allow me to introduce the wife and the daughter." " Whose wife?" "Whose daughter?" "My own, Your Excellency." "Madam, I am so pleased to have ended here, in your town." " I am more pleased to be able to welcome such a noble guest." "Sit down, please." " Thank you." "Sit down, gentlemen." "Do sit down, I'm not fond of much ado." "I like being unnoticed." "But as soon as I appear somewhere back in St. Petersburg" "I hear everyone say:" ""Ivan Alexandrovich is coming."" "Soldiers jump out from the guardhouse, saluting me." "Pushkin calls at me:" ""Where are you going, my friend?"" "And I answer: "Nowhere in particular."" "I heard you are also a writer." "Indeed, I wrote a good many works." "I can hardly remember them all." "At random, I can tell you that I wrote Figaro's Wedding, Robinson Crusoe," "Dante's Divine Comedy by Petrarca." "That's interesting." " I live for literature." "My house is full of artists, from the cellar to the roof." "Visitors, counts, princes." "It looks like in a beehive in the morning, everything is buzzing." "I throw balls and receptions." "Serving all sorts of specialities." "A melon for seven hundred roubles." "The soup is shipped directly from Paris by boat." "You won't find such steam anywhere else." "That smell!" "And when I'm not at home, couriers run around all over the city and find me even if I were bathing in my birthday costume." "I wish to write now." "Where's my room?" "As you wish, Your Excellency." "Would you like to have a rest, Your Excellency?" "Oh no, thank you." "I shall write." "Does it have two tips?" "Isn't it crippled?" "What a man!" "I've never been in the company of such a personage." "I almost died of fear!" "I was shivering like that." "I shivered more." " I beg your pardon, I shivered..." "Wait, I..." " Come now, gentlemen!" "I think he's a general in the least." "A general, he must be at least a generalissimo!" "Didn't you hear how he made the state council sweat?" "How counts and princes are buzzing in his hall?" "Princes and counts." " And what did I say?" "Come now, gentlemen." " Let's go." "We'll be back in no time in our best." " And we shall request an audience." "At your service." " At your service." "I only wanted to tell you that in case you need anything just ring the bell." "Unfortunately, there's no bell here." "It doesn't matter though." "I can do ding dong like that, but I don't need anything for now." "Well, in case you do need anything do that ding dong." "Ding dong." "Buy yourself some tea and tell me what interests your master the most." "What does His Excellency like the most?" "He likes to be well feasted." "Buy yourself a pretzel and continue." "Well, when we leave some place, my master always asks me:" ""Well, Joseph, how did they treat you?" "And I tell him:" ""Badly, master, badly."" "And he says:" ""That's a bad husbandman, Joseph." "Remind me of his name when we come to St. Petersburg."" "Come, tell us about your master." "We will give you some money too." "Out you go!" "Go to the other room!" "Come here, buy yourself a vodka and tell your master that if someone peached on me that he's a liar!" "Peach on you." "Who would dare such a thing?" "We must dare to do it!" " Yes, we have to complain." "Yes!" " Wrong is being done to us!" "He takes everything he sees." " Everything!" "Let's put it down in writing." " Let's do that!" "Write it down." "My Dear Friend, Those asses take me for an Inspector General." "You would burst with laughter, if you saw the honors they do me." "There are guards everywhere," "as if I were a Governor." "You'll stay here!" "And should someone come with a complaint or should he look as if coming to file a complaint, you'll throw him out!" "And properly!" "What's this?" "Quiet!" "If only he took the palm grease." "If we could palm it on him somehow." " Who shall go first?" "Not me!" "Not me." " Shh!" "Quiet!" "His Excellency must be writing a letter to St. Petersburg." "Mr. Tryapichkin, Editor St. Petersburg" "I'm going first!" "Enter!" "Is some dog scratching away its fleas?" "Oh, it's you." "Do you have cold fever?" " I have the honor to introduce myself." "I am the judge of the local District Court, Lyapkin-Tyapkin." "I beg your pardon?" " Lyapkin-Tyapkin." "I was nominated for the fourth class Order of St. Vladimir." "Oh, Vladimir is nice, and fourth class is higher than the third." "You've beat out some money!" "It's not worth mentioning, Your Excellency." "Three hundred roubles." "How much?" "You are, as they say, careless with money." "What if you lend me the money?" "With greatest pleasure, Your Excellency." "I shall be most honored, and I shall strive to deserve it with immense diligence and obedience, and I shall not take Your Excellency's time any longer." "Is there anything else?" "That's enough for the time being." "Come in." "Your Excellency, allow me to introduce myself." "Postmaster Shpekin." "Postmaster?" "You accept money, don't you?" " No, I don't." "Never, Your Excellency." "I don't think so." "I believe you accept and send monetary consignments." "The thing is I am amazed that no one has sent me any money, although I need it rather urgently." "Do you have three hundred roubles on you?" "I don't, but I have four hundred roubles." "Four hundred?" "Well, this somewhat interferes with my budget, but nothing doing, give it to me." "It's settled then." "Have you any other special orders, Your Excellency?" "I have." "Send this letter for me, postage shall be paid by the state." "You may go." "Hurry up." "Next!" "Your schools are well managed." "I'm very pleased." "Is your button missing?" "It isn't." "Button up." "You may go." "Allow me to introduce myself." "I am the superintendent of the charity institutions, Zemlyanika." "Zemlyanika." "Do you wish to add anything else?" "I mean as a traveling man..." " I understand." "You do..." " I fully understand." "Besides, it's prepared here in the envelope." "Thank you." "I won't keep you any longer." "Time is money." "Money." "I always say the same, Your Excellency." "Money." "Don't put it away." "Its contents is valuable." "I most pleased that you offer me your help in such a delicate manner." "Zemlyanika!" "You are to submit three hundred roubles for duty stamps to this application." "As you wish, Your Excellency." "Don't forget, Zemlyanika." "I won't." "Zemlyanika." "Let's go to His Excellency!" " Let's go!" "What's the matter here?" "Throw them out!" "Whip them out!" " Out you go!" "I'm a retired major, Excellency." "I served under Zadunaysky." "I know Zadunaysky." "A short, podgy man, isn't he?" "Not at all, Your Excellency, he's tall and slim." "He's tall and slim, you're right." "He has a beard and looks like Napoleon." "Napoleon!" " But he died, Your Excellency." "He passed away thirty years ago." "Did he?" "But whom do I know then?" "I also served with Trepatkin." " With Trepatkin." "I don't want to keep you." "Do you have money for me?" "What money?" " For me, not to pass it over." "I don't have any money." "I came to ask Your Excellency to put in a word for me in St. Petersburg." "As my petitions to increase my pension were in vain." "When was that?" " Well, that was in the year thirty years ago." "Thirty years ago?" "So you will apply for the Order of St. Vladimir for waiting for sixty years." "For thirty years." " For sixty years." "You've waited for thirty, you'll wait for another thirty, that makes sixty." "Farewell." "What's the matter?" "Let's go home in time, my lord." "Let's come home famous!" "Nonsense, we won't leave now, when money is pouring in, you fool." "I bring one more petitioner, Your Excellency." "I see." " Your Grace." "I took the liberty of arranging a dinner in your honor." "The best food, the most expensive beverages, and music." "Long live His Excellency!" " Vivat!" "Ladies and Gentlemen." "My dear children." "I am satisfied with the inspection." "And I am more than glad to declare that you all take... take everything bearing in mind your responsibility." "I feel like in St. Petersburg." "At home in St. Petersburg I enjoy respect." "Bribable officials call me my lord." "When I ride in my equipage across the Neva Prospect, no one gets in my way, everyone showing their respect." "At home in St. Petersburg, when I come to the palace, the Tsar is walking in his gardens, inviting me upstairs." "He offers me tea with vodka, chatting like old friends." "After tea with Nikolai, we play cards till the break of day." "Let's hope they don't find out." "Find out what?" " That we drank." "I see, I thought you mean that they wouldn't find out... oh my." "The air is wonderful here." "I assure you that the Tsar and the Tsarina will come here to spend the summer." "I must do that trick with the handkerchief." "That's strange, I've done it more than a hundred times and I've never managed to do it right." "But I'll work with the table." "Do you know, you sly dogs, that I like it here very much?" "As long as Your Excellency is satisfied here." "I'm more than satisfied." "I'm actually thrilled with my staying here." "Thrilled!" "I truly do not know how shall I reciprocate." "I would have a humble request," "Your Grace." " Say it." "I beseech you..." " So do I." "When you come to St. Petersburg, tell all those noble men, senators, and admirals," ""Your Eminence or Excellency," "Petr Ivanovich Bobchinsky lives in this town."" "Nothing else." "That Petr Ivanovich Bobchinsky lives in this town." "And Petr Ivanovich Dobchinsky, a gentleman farmer." "I shall tell them." "And should you speak to the Tsar, tell him:" ""Your Majesty," "Petr Ivanovich Bobchinsky, a farmer, lives in this town." "And Petr Ivanovich Dobchinsky, also a farmer." "Very well, I shall." "Farewell." "Goodbye." " We are most grateful." "Anna Andreyevna." " Good night." " Good night." "Are you leaving as well?" "I don't mean to disturb you." "You surely have more serious work to do." "Not at all, your eyes are far more prettier," "than the most serious work." "You're speaking like in St. Petersburg." " Because of you." "I'd like to offer you a chair." "Not a chair!" "A throne!" "A throne." "And I would kneel in front of it." "I would like to be your necklace and embrace your lily-white neck." "I would like to kiss your red lips." "Look!" "My dear children!" "I'm so happy!" "What a surprise!" " What honor!" "What fortune!" "Truly." " God bless you, my dear daughter." "Who would ever think of this!" "My child!" "Who would have guessed?" "Such a thing." "Let us go to bed now, children." " Yes." "You may kiss." "There." "Thank you." "Dear Excellency, go and rest into your room." "Oh yes, I shall go to my room." " Very well." "Good night, good morning, dear family." "Now you put perfume on, when it's all over." "Who could have imagined before." " I did, immediately." "He watched no one but you all evening." "He didn't take his eyes off you." "Fortune has come." "I ordered the water to be warmed up." "You will take a bath." "His Excellency, your fiancé will also take a bath." "We shall let him rest now." "Bye bye, my dear Excellency." "What fortune!" "The whole town has to know." "The hetman thinks he'll become a general." "It would suit him like a saddle a cow." "A general, eh?" "What do you think, could they soon promote me to a general?" "Of course, leave that to me." "We'll move to St. Petersburg and you can give up your hetmanship." "Of course!" "It's so easy for him to have me appointed as the governor, if he's friend with all the ministers and visits the palace." "You shall finish with them varmints!" "Indeed!" "What if they appoint me as a minister?" "I will send people to Siberia." "Show me, is your chest wide enough for medals?" "There's room for plenty!" " Come, congratulators are here." "Don't congratulate him!" "The inspector is a fake!" "Read here, what he writes about you all." "What names he calls you!" "All of you." "...and the schoolintendent is such an idiot, good only for watching the cattle range!" "There will be really something to laugh at in St. Petersburg!" "Look, my dear people, look, all Christian world how he deceived me!" "Me, a town hetman!" "Where is he?" "He's gone!" "Laugh at me!" "I'm dead!" "I'm ruined!" "Hetman, the Inspector General has just arrived from St. Petersburg and asks you to visit him immediately." "The End"