"CREW CUT" "We're closed." "It's after 6." "Oh, it's you." "No, Professor Bicycle, for the collected works of Victor Hugo." "I thought you'd be here yesterday." "Peter got arrested yesterday." "I had to see his parents." "By the Germans?" "No, by the English, what did you think?" "I'll be right back." "Was it a busy day?" "Quiet." "A few difficult students." "And a strange little man who wanted drawings of the human body." "To study, he said." "But sir saw right through him." "The bastard." "Was he bald and did he wear gaiters?" "He was bald." "That was Mr Rozier, the cow licker." "What's that?" "When he sees cows in a paddock, he thinks they're naked women." "Last year, the police pulled him out of a paddock with his pants down." "He was chasing the cows." "If a cow stopped, he got on a soapbox and tried to rape the animal." "Why do you always tell these dirty stories?" "He went to hospital with foot-and-mouth disease." "Really." "He used to be a deacon in our church." "He roams through town." "Better be careful." "I can't believe such people exist." "I could tell you stories about that man." "I don't need to hear them." "Aren't you hot in that coat?" "I have a bit of a cold." "Will you take me to the tram?" "First have a look at my room." "All this time you've never seen it." "Alright, but I have to be home before dinner." "I'm leaving." "Will you close?" "Erik!" "Nice and warm with that girl." "What's wrong?" "I don't like when people touch my hair." "Are you angry?" "Let's go upstairs." "You don't have much time." "You shouldn't let a lady go first on the stairs." "Except if she doesn't know the stairs and might fall down." "Nice view." "You can see the church." "You can go to confession, straight through the window." "Not funny." "At least you don't need a clock." "It's almost seven." "I have to go." "You didn't even have a good look." "You should hang some nice drawings on the wall." "Have you been to the academy yet?" "I'm going tomorrow." "They have a nude model." "A girl your age." "She has guts." "Every normal woman would do it." "Or else marry a priest." "Nice and warm." "Shall I take off your undies too?" "No, let's do like normal." "Normal?" "The way we always do it in the park." "Rubbing against your panties, is that normal?" "Don't you want to become a real woman?" "I'm afraid." "You're hurting me." "Let me go." "I want to see my mother." "I'm not hurting you anymore, am I?" "Will I have a baby now?" "Yes!" "That's terrible." "No." "I'll be careful." "REST LEADS TO LUST" "MATERIAL STORAGE NURSING SERVICE" "ART ACADEMY "ARS AEMULA"" "SCHOOL FOUNDED IN 1836" "Did you ring?" "The door was open, so I came in." "My name is Erik van Poelgeest and I'd like to paint here." "Preferably nude." "Nude, Van Poelgeest?" "Better show up dressed." "Van Grouw, but I know what you mean." "We only have one other student and he never asked to paint nudes." "Besides, the models all have become so skinny." "They're afraid to undress." "Don't you have a girlfriend who can come along sometimes?" "If she's not too prudish?" "I have a girl, but she has scabies." "She'd never undress in front of others." "Not even in front of me." "Maybe it's for the best." "How old are you?" "Shouldn't you be working in Germany?" "I've gone in hiding in the city." "So you have all day." "I work in the morning." "I paint lampshades." "Lampshades?" "17th century sea battles." "There's a lot of demand for it." "The worse people are off, the more they're interested in our glorious past." "I don't have time to show you around." "Come back tomorrow afternoon." "If I'm not here, just go inside." "If you go through the door and follow the stairs you end up in the studio." "You don't need to bring anything." "We have plenty." "I'd recommend starting with a simple still life." "So we can see what you're capable of." "Hard at work, I see." "It's awful." "Terrible." "I'm sorry, but you have no feeling for refinement or subtlety." "What do I do with this?" "Nobody wants this." "Would you like to watch this in the twilight?" "Not me." "I hate twilight." "I want a room to be dark or light," "What an exceptional point of view." "Most people like twilight." "A lamp decoration should be a pleasure to look at." "But this..." "It clashes like hell." "Exactly." "Follow me." "I'll teach you something." "Botticelli." "Sandro's his first name." "Here, La Primavera." "That means spring." "So refined." "Those bodies." "Hardly covered by veils." "That's what we want." "That refinement, that grace." "I can hardly put a veil over a soldier's uniform." "You don't have to make Botticelli's." "It's the principle that counts." "Another example:" "Venus, born from the scum of the sea." "Look at those hard, little..." "...tits!" "Keep quiet." "We don't want my wife to hear." "Elly's a nice girl, isn't she?" "I get along fine with her." "She looks nice." "I thought you might that you might..." "What do you mean?" "A kiss now and then, when I'm not there." "I don't blame you." "You're both young." "I don't know what you mean." "I have trouble enough with those lampshades." "Don't try to fool me." "You're a healthy boy from Holland." "This is what I mean." "Madonna with child." "Such elegant lines." "This is what they call a swan's neck." "I think it's a bit long." "It's not natural." "But Botticelli is beautiful." "Do you want your coffee here?" "I guess so." "I'll go back to work." "There's still a lot to do." "And we don't want poor Elly to be working all alone." "I'll be there soon too." "I'd want to give that boy a dime to get a haircut." "Yuck!" "He's taking long, isn't he?" "That's the second time today that I trip over the rug." "We don't want any accidents." "Did you want to get through?" "It's time." "Already?" "Bye." "A dick with no head!" "Damn, you scared me." "Why didn't you wait for me?" "I had to run like crazy." "Whatever's in this pot has become stew." "I thought you weren't going to come." "It was after 6 when I left." "Come on, it just turned six." "Are you avoiding me?" "I'm not allowed to see you anymore." "Did you tell your mother everything?" "I wouldn't dare." "To whom then?" "That French kissing priest of yours?" "I can see it in your pious face." "You went to confession." "Yes and I told him everything." "And then you and him French kissed." "He doesn't do that." "You told me yourself." "That's a long time ago." "I didn't know about anything." "He only showed me because I didn't know what he was talking about." "I guess he does that with all the young girls." "Did he also add it's called French kissing?" "No, he said I wasn't supposed to do that with boys." "You don't tell your mother but you tell a strange man dressed like a woman?" "He's not a stranger." "He's a symbol of God." "A French kissing God." "Can I have one too?" "Don't yell." "People are looking." "I'll yell as loud as I want." "You can't just say you don't want to go to bed with me anymore." "Only whores do that." "You can't talk like that." "Come with me first." "We have to talk about this." "We can talk in the street." "I thought I was yelling too loud." "You can speak softly." "Come." "I'll get into trouble." "No one needs to know." "He can tell when I'm lying." "You don't have to lie." "Just tell him." "He'll absolve you and that's it." "He can't absolve me if I don't try really hard." "Now people are looking at you." "They think I'm a brute who abuses you." "Promise you won't do anything?" "He'll tell my mother." "That's not allowed." "It's confidential." "It's allowed if you're a minor and you commit a mortal sin." "He's lying." "He wants to scare you." "Promise you won't do it." "I already said I just want to talk to you." "Alright, I'll trust you." "Now you go first." "I know the stairs." "Afraid I'll touch you?" "No." "You promised you wouldn't." "I didn't say that." "That's what it came down to." "I said I won't do 'that' to you." "But what's 'that'?" "I might have to show you." "Just like your priest with his big tongue." "And that's not allowed." "Promise you won't do anything or I'll go back." "I want to talk to you." "Where did you get that church candle?" "What do you think?" "I have my contacts among the clergy too." "I thought it would make you feel at ease." "Take off your coat." "No, I'll keep it on." "When you visit someone, you take off your coat." "I don't have to take off my coat to talk." "It's not that warm here." "Give me." "You always have to have it your way." "Sit next to me and put your handbag on the floor." "Strange, a room with no chairs." "You know what you promised." "How can I talk to you from this far?" "Want me to yell again?" "Why are you so terrible to me?" "You're going to do it, aren't you?" "You're going to do it anyway." "Yes, I'm going to do it anyway." "Isn't that what you want?" "This time I'll undress you all the way." "No, never." "Relax them." "Make them weak." "I'll hit you until you do it." "Now you're sweet." "Am I hurting you?" "No." "Look." "That's how much I love you." "Don't be so gross." "Gross?" "Isn't the body God's temple?" "Everything's clean and sacred there." "Priests eat from the floor." "What did you do to me?" "As if you're sorry about it." "I am." "You liked it well enough." "I didn't like it." "You forced me." "You're mean." "I didn't force you at all." "When I did it, I was only holding you with one finger." "You could have walked off, but you didn't." "Find someone else to do these things with." "You'll never see me again." "You've done this to me." "I don't know what to say to him." "Tell that priest of yours that I'm already half converted." "Tell him your fiancé was on his knees, kissing the holy crotch." "I know what's wrong with you." "They warned me about you." "You're lying." "Nobody warned you about me." "Not your mother and not the priest." "It's because of this." "You can't fool me." "You want a slick boy with neatly combed hair." "Get lost with your pious Jesus." "They told me that your academy's an NSB collaborators' nest." "You belong with those fascists and sadists." "Your pope gets along fine with those fascists." "Ansje." "Up to no good again, Mr Rozier?" "Mr Van Poelgeest." "I was looking for you." "For me?" "I didn't do anything." "Because of you and your unsavoury practices, my fiancée left me." "I didn't even know you had a fiancée." "Of course I had a fiancée." "I swear I didn't know." "You made me lose the prettiest and most pious girl of the city." "She told me someone goes to bookshops looking for books about the human body." "And that he gives female staff obscene looks and makes even worse gestures." "That must be a very bad person." "He even drooled over a reproduction of the Venus of Botticelli." "It's terrible." "My fiancée described this despicable man to me in detail." "Mr Rozier." "Step back a bit." "When I told her I knew that man, she broke off the engagement." "Do you know who this lecherous person could be?" "I really don't know." "I have to go urgently." "Dirty cow licker!" "The honourable woman." "A shame about her legs, though." "Rodin said you can't damage a thing of beauty." "You have a really Germanic profile." "Beautiful skull." "High." "Back of the head not too big." "When the Russians come, we'll all be dead, with our high skulls." "They only let the mongoloids live." "It's very serious." "Here, look at this." "It's hair-raising." "Killed by the Russians." "They look Jewish." "Jewish?" "They're real Russian types." "Slaughtered by the Bolsheviks." "If Germany doesn't hold its ground, Europe will become a mass grave." "That's why we, National Socialists, fight for European unity." "Only a united Europe can stop the barbarians." "Time's short." "That's why sometimes things happen that I don't agree with." "Like forced labour." "We can't afford to be patient with people who don't agree with us." "After the war's been won you will also benefit from our battle and choose our side." "Have you been in the attic?" "Is there an attic?" "Yes and the floor's so rotten, it's dangerous to walk on." "I'm warning you." "Yes." "Shall I help you start a still life?" "I want to paint her." "A nude after all." "Alright then." "Some female beauty won't hurt in these dark times." "It's terrible." "Repulsive almost." "It's supposed to be powder-smoke." "I can see that." "It should be refined." "Break up the contours every now and then." "That's more evocative." "How will you ever become a painter?" "With you as my example, I can't fail." "I think you've hurt the squire's noble feelings." "He shouldn't pretend to be a great artist himself." "Look at those seas." "Looks like cauliflower after it's boiled for a day." "I wouldn't like to end up in there." "In a sea like that, miracles can happen." "The bible's full of them." "You and your bible." "Is this necessary?" "Isn't it nice to have your back rubbed?" "Do you do that to your fiancée as well?" "I don't have a fiancée." "That's a pity for you." "Don't come to me for lessons in love." "I want a lover who already knows the way." "I know what I'm doing." "That's what all the little boys say." "I can force you, by the way." "I can make you do anything I want." "I can make you dance." "Naked." "Like Salome, with the head of the squire in a dish." "You can force me?" "I can turn you in if you don't do what I want." "You'd be caught as well." "I don't stink." "No." "You smell great." "Like summer." "Like flowers." "Like real soap." "I have to use clay soap." "That must be why you look so drab." "Van Grouw mentioned your name this morning." "But I forgot it right away." "Erik van Poelgeest." "Erik van Poelgeest." "That's a beautiful name." "It's a very beautiful name." "My name doesn't matter." "Call me the Spider." "If you want, you can come home with me." "I'll show you my work." "That's impossible." "I'm hiding from the Germans." "I have to be careful." "And my mother comes to bring me food." "I'll come with you then." "If someone's with me, she'll think I've been arrested and they want her too." "She doesn't have to see me." "Agreed." "You go straight for plaster." "Almost the hardest thing to paint." "Except for human flesh." "Don't get up, mother." "What's wrong?" "Is anything wrong?" "I'll explain later." "Your brother Frans is sick." "Is it serious?" "I have to go." "I can't be long." "I have to pick up my girl." "Girls are nice." "I'm too ugly for them." "I've been living on my own since I was eight." "I used to long for them." "I bought magazines, collected pictures." "Later I didn't need them anymore." "It happened automatically." "I did draw models in the evenings." "Always with one hand in my pocket." "Women don't want me." "They're scared of me." "That's why I wear the badge." "But that didn't help either." "We fight against Marxism" "Red Front liberalism" "Because our people has to live in freedom" "That is our duty and holy right" "That is why we are black soldiers." "But you have a girl." "She loves you." "I just paint." "Many still lifes with skulls." "Neighbours sometimes ask why I paint such horrible things." "They wouldn't want to have the paintings, not even for free." "I take them to my room and watch them until it gets dark." "And then I know I did well." "That I have to make it even more horrible next time." "The more horrible, the better." "It's about to rain." "Run." "Don't you have a key?" "Mother prefers that I ring." "You never know what might happen." "Don't introduce yourself." "She's deaf-and-dumb." "She talks too much." "Let's go upstairs." "Was your mother always..." "Deaf-and-dumb?" "I still don't know for sure." "Maybe she puts it on." "She only hears the doorbell." "At least, she always opens the door." "She used to sometimes say something." ""Your father's a jerk."" "That's all I remember." "And your father?" "I never knew him." "Or he me." "Wait in my studio." "I'll get the painting from my bedroom." "I can't offer you a chair." "I never sit when I work." "That only leads to dreaming and fantasizing." "I don't paint here, but I do my most important work here." "You walked to the window." "I didn't touch anything." "Nothing can be moved here." "Not even my mother's allowed in here" "You'll have to clean sooner or later." "There's no dust here." "Never been any either." "If there was dust here, I'd leave." "You can't see it from there." "Stand in between the tables." "Straight in front of it." "Yes, like that." "You probably think I made a mistake." "That I've got the painting upside down." "But look at my name." "The Spider, 1939." "Can you see the grass isn't grass but clouds?" "And that the air has just been mown?" "I started by painting the air green and the grass blue." "When I wanted to place the trees, I couldn't." "My hand was forced to plant them with their roots in the air." "Then I knew what it was." "The colours were forcing me." "Then I realised it's not gravity that keeps everything on the earth." "It's the colours." "Colours determine everything." "Do you want to see more?" "I'd like to, but I have to pick up my girl at 6." "Yes, you have to go to your girl." "Better hurry." "It's a quarter to." "Then I really have to go." "I write poems here too." "But you wouldn't understand them." "From all the things they're about only the density of molecules has been described." "If you don't know it by heart, you won't understand it." "It stopped raining." "You'll get to your girl dry." "What's this?" "A pullover." "And what's three men with two women?" "A dick over." "Find your own way out." "I'm going to work." "If you walk into that woman, pretend you don't see her." "Tell Van Grouw I won't be coming any time soon." "I'll work at home." "Do you still sell stamps?" "Stop!" "Stay were you are!" "In a hundred years, they'll be making lampshades with SS men and soldiers." "Cut me a piece too." "When the RAF comes, I'll have to start over." "That looks very impressive." "Not really." "It's awful." "It's almost repulsive." "Put that scary thing away." "Shall I do it?" "Don't touch my hair." "I was only joking." "Nice joke." "It's only a tiny cut." "Have you got a hanky?" "Wait." "There." "That'll fix it." "You're not going to suck me empty, are you?" "Bloodthirsty little weasel." "You know your way around." "I love the blood while you do that." "That's enough." "Get your hand out or I'll go crazy." "Is it that bad?" "Can't we sit down somewhere?" "We can go to the park." "It's quiet there." "Give me your bag." "I'll put the pot in there." "You know your brother was involved in a hold-up of a food office near Haarlem." "He had to go into hiding." "The family he lived with had diphtheria." "Last night they took him to hospital." "He has had four heart attacks." "The doctor said they couldn't help him." "We went there this morning." "We couldn't even go near him." "He's behind glass." "He was talking to us, but we couldn't hear him." "I can't touch my own son." "Can I see him tonight?" "Go see him tomorrow." "Will you spend a few days at home?" "Your father would really like that too." "Do you have a message for me?" "I need to see you." "Does it have to be now?" "It's urgent." "It's a bit inconvenient, because I'm working." "I was glad you opened the door so quickly." "I was in my room, but I can go downstairs fast." "Why do you want to see me?" "My brother's very ill." "Your brother's ill?" "He's got diphtheria." "Maybe you know something about it." "The doctor says there's no hope." "Diphtheria?" "I've got a book about diseases." "Maybe we can look up the disease." "It's cold here." "Diphtheria is an infectious disease, caused by bacteria." "It creates a thick membrane especially in the throat." "The bacteria secrete toxin that poisons the internal organs." "Heart, liver, kidney and bowels." "If untreated, diphtheria can lead to death in 6 to 10 days due to cardiac arrest or closing of the larynx." "If the correct therapy is applied during the first 24 hours the patient will almost certainly be cured." "It took a few days before he got treatment." "You'll have a use for it." "I don't spend money anymore." "Do you really think he can't be helped?" "All diseases can be cured." "Except death." "And that's a disease we all suffer from." "But nobody goes to the doctor for it." "Every sperm cell you place inside a woman, contains a tiny skeleton." "It grows and when it's born, the mother's happy." "They don't even realise the child is stillborn." "Did your dog die from a disease or from old age?" "Do you see those hooks?" "My swing used to be attached to them." "After I grew up, it was left there because my dog always sat on it." "I'd gently push the swing with him on it." "I'd talk to him." "He understood what I said." "He listened and knew what I was saying." "I wanted to have someone to talk to." "I wanted him to talk to me too." "And one day, he made a sound." "No more barking or whining." "He said something to me." "He talked to me." "I wanted him to continue." "He had to continue." "But he didn't continue." "He didn't say anything anymore." "I grabbed him." "I shook him." "I shook him." "I shook him." "You have to leave." "I have to be alone." "I'm here to see Frans van Poelgeest." "Which ward?" "He was brought in yesterday, with diphtheria." "Diphtheria's the infectious diseases ward." "Go under the tower and turn right." "Follow the signs with an X." "You won't be able to go in." "Walk past the windows." "You don't understand it at all." "This is the second world war that I live through." "It's going exactly like in 1918." "They execute a few rascals who've gone too far because the people want to see blood." "But they won't touch someone like Krupp." "Mark my words." "Resistance heroes, like your brother, will be forgotten after the war." "They're way too dangerous." "They're just adventurers." "The more Krauts they kill, the better." "For each German they kill, ten decent citizens are executed." "And we'll need those decent citizens after the war." "Those adventurers hold up food offices to get coupons for people in hiding." "My brother was arrested during a hold-up." "When he tried to run, they shot him in his leg." "He tried to hide in the cinema." "They saw the blood trail." "Really?" "That's very sad." "If I were you, I wouldn't get too involved in your brother's activities." "We have to think of our little girl in hiding." "I hate the Nazi regime as well." "But we won't make life hard for the average German." "They searched the house the other day." "You should have seen it." "In the hall, one asked if he was allowed to smoke." "In the hall, imagine." "When they found out I belong to the nobility, they became even more polite." "No, most Germans are normal people." "Just a bit more polite than the Dutch." "Except they transport Jews to Germany as if they're animals." "That has nothing to do with the German people." "That's done be a few party bosses." "It's all the fault of the English." "Here you are." "I can still see Chamberlain come back from Munich." "With a piece of paper signed by Hitler." "And on the aircraft steps he said:" ""Peace in our time"." "He knows where he can stick that peace." "A young lady doesn't talk like that." "What are you doing?" "Clean the brush on the inside of the pot." "You treat it like treacle." "How can light shine through this?" "Awful." "Father." "You must have heard from mother." "I haven't been inside, but I know." "I've been to see him." "You've seen your brother alive." "Your mother and I were just too late." "I didn't get a chance to close his eyes." "But he is..." "He's now our advocate in heaven." "Never forget that." "He told the nurse he went to Jesus our Lord." "He quoted a text from the bible, from the psalms." "As the deer longs for the water stream, so my soul longs for Thee, O God." "I've seen it." "I saw him speak to the nurse." "He took the bible from the bedside table." "And then he died." "You witnessed your brother enter eternal salvation." "Tell your mother, son." "It will comfort her." "What?" "Where are the little ones?" "At the neighbours'." "What did you say?" "I took them to the neighbours." "Take those needles out of your trap." "I can't understand you." "You look like an idiot in that fur coat." "You don't care, but I have to make sure we look good at the funeral." "You don't care about the family." "Go to that room of yours." "Go paint and have fun." "Don't worry about us." "Father's working hard all day." "We all are." "And you're just hanging around in the city." "And then mother has to bring you your food." "Don't argue, you two." "Good evening." "I'm here about the funeral." "Come in." "My condolences." "Don't get up, please." "Thank you." "It is hard for me to talk to you about the funeral under these circumstances." "I have to talk to you about financial matters but I'll try to spare your feelings." "This is our price list." "Let's start with the bearers." "Ten bearers cost thirty guilders." "Do they need ten?" "People have been weakened by the war." "You could also get eight bearers." "Let's do that." "You save five guilders." "Six guilders." "Indeed, six guilders." "Another family member?" "My condolences to you too." "Thank you." "What does that cost?" "The pall costs two guilders." "Green decoration costs ten guilders." "Use of the auditorium with use of the organ is also ten guilders." "Without the organ, it's three guilders cheaper." "Now the burial itself." "Tomb space for three corpses for ten years: sixty guilders." "For four corpses: eighty guilders." "Is one corpse not enough, damnit?" "Elly, it's me, Erik." "Come." "You act as if you were expecting me." "I was." "Do you still read this kind of books?" "You can't stay here." "Why didn't you go to your room?" "I couldn't." "Why not?" "I'll explain later." "Was there another razzia?" "I can go if you want." "That's not what I meant." "Dear, let me in." "Not now, Paul." "I'm almost asleep." "So I hear." "Open up quickly." "Come on, let little Paul in." "I've got... you know." "Again?" "That's not a problem." "It's only easier." "No Paul." "I'm going to sleep now." "Well, goodnight then." "Be quiet." "Are you angry?" "I've been lonely for so long." "That's not the impression I just got." "Undress." "What have you got there?" "Pebbles." "Why do you need pebbles?" "I've been dropping them, so I can find the way back." "Comedian." "What a nice dick." "Put that dyno torch away." "It's not going to make it melt, is it?" "Wait." "Make sure you're gone before 6 in the morning." "Flush the toilet before you go downstairs." "That makes so much noise, they won't hear you." "You're a smart girl." "Do you think?" "Hello, grandma." "It's been a long time, boy." "Oh dear!" "Couldn't you wear something other than my old coat?" "What was that last night?" "That man was totally upset." "I couldn't stand the smooth talking." "That man had to do his work." "He tried to spare our feelings." "But you behaved like a wild man." "Why do you look like a bum when you see your brother for the last time?" "If I'd wear a suit, Frans wouldn't recognize me." "Erik, don't make fun of death." "He looks so peaceful." "He hasn't changed at all." "It's just as if he sleeps." "Mother, he's in the other coffin." "He hasn't changed at all." "It's just as if he sleeps." "You should get new glasses." "Why?" "I can see fine." "Have a good look, wife." "It's your last chance." "There's your first born." "Don't you want to get closer?" "Father, if we all pray together, wouldn't God listen?" "Couldn't he bring Frans back to life?" "I pray day and night, child." "If God doesn't answer our prayers, we have to resign ourselves." "He's brought people back to life before." "That was a long time ago." "Not in these godless times." "Satan's thousand year reign seems to have begun." "Careful with that glass." "I don't care about the glass." "I'll take her outside." "When God hits, he hits hard, mother." "We'd better leave." "So we can catch the tram of 3.30." "There's nothing for us here." "Our child is in the arms of our heavenly Father." "Are you coming, mother?" "He was my first grandchild." "Remember how he was always waiting for you to arrive?" "Yes, I'll never forget." "With his black curly hair." "Mother, our own grief is big enough." "Erik, don't stay there on your own." "Why are you still there?" "I'm coming." "Van Poelgeest, good to see you one more time." "Come with me." "We're moving." "With the Americans so close, we have to clean things up." "Not that we're running away." "There's no reason to." "The Führer knows what he's doing." "He lets them in and they'll be trapped like rats." "Is something wrong?" "You're so quiet." "My brother died." "From diphtheria." "Not a beautiful death." "Do you still live in that attic?" "Do you want to come and live here?" "So you can look after things until I come back." "There's months worth of food." "Plenty of coal." "There's even toilet paper." "That's agreed then." "This one's from downstairs and this one's from upstairs." "I hope it'll be full of paintings when I come back." "I have high expectations of you." "Erik." "Could you take this letter to Kees de Spin for me?" "It's urgent." "Do you know where he lives?" "Yes." "Goodbye, Erik." "I have a letter for your son, from Van Grouw." "Dear Kees" "We fought in vain." "Go to your family in the province." "If you reply right away, I can provide transport." "We're going to the stronghold." "We'll fight until the end." "Your comrade" "Hello." "Where did you come from?" "I was missing the light box." "I thought you missed me." "I love that smell of varnish." "Comedian." "The coloration matured over time." "He's pretty angry that you stayed away for so long." "He said he understood you needed a few days after the funeral." "But not this long." "He made a nasty comment about it every day." "Especially when he had to apply the varnish himself." "You have to make it up to him." "Also to me." "That's not why I'm here." "I've come to quit." "Are you leaving?" "You look bad." "As if you haven't been outside for weeks." "I haven't." "I worked at the academy for weeks." "Without interruption." "I made more than ten paintings." "Elly, come with me." "Don't stay with that old fart." "The moment I left, that old corpse must have jumped you again." "What makes you think that?" "When I left you told me to flush the toilet." "He was already getting himself turned on." "He had a book with naked women on his knees." "Did he say anything?" "Yes, he said woof woof." "We're just like doggies." "Get behind each other." "He came to me while I was still asleep." "First I thought it was you." "But when I wanted to caress your beautiful body I suddenly had saggy old skin in my hands." "That's why you have to leave this place." "What would we live off?" "I moved." "I live at the academy now." "The Director was a fascist who left." "And he gave me the keys." "There's enough food for a year." "There's soap, coal, toilet paper." "And even a good strong bed." "What if that man comes back." "He won't." "I leave everything locked, so no one can get in." "The war will be over soon." "The Americans are close." "No, I can't take the risk." "I'm sorry." "It's impossible." "You don't want it." "Don't make excuses." "Don't be ridiculous." "I think you'd rather be spoiled by the squire." "You're lying." "You're just jealous." "I hope the lovebirds aren't fighting." "We only had a disagreement about your pyjamas." "I said I saw you in the toilet wearing pyjamas with blue stripes and Elly says she saw pyjama pants with red stripes next to her bed." "Well, well, we have a new Director." "The previous one was fired." "He couldn't keep his hands off the female staff." "Damn!" "Get out!" "I never want to see your face again." "Have fun together." "Sir, help me please." ""As the deer longs for the water stream, so my soul longs for Thee, O God."" "Do you know Erik van Poelgeest?" "Elly!" "What a mess." "Don't you ever clean it up?" "Did he let you go just like that?" "Are you crazy?" "This morning, she told me I had to leave right away." "That the house would be searched." "But I think she noticed something." "So I went to you." "I never noticed." "You can hardly see it." "Because I make sure no one sees it." "Don't worry about it." "Act normal about it." "It even looks interesting." "I thought you couldn't see it." "You know what I mean." "How did you get it?" "When I was half a year old, I got bronchitis." "They put a kettle with an extra long spout next to my cradle." "The kettle was heated and when the water boiled, steam was blown into the cradle." "The idea was to loosen the mucus." "But something went wrong." "Instead of steam, I got melted lead in my face." "My parents said the pharmacist sold them a faulty device." "But the kettle must have been empty, which made the lead melt." "They didn't pay enough attention." "You can't just blame your parents." "You don't know exactly what happened." "No, but a child that age looks at its parents for protection." "Even if it was the pharmacist's fault." "I've always felt abandoned and betrayed." "And all that because of the spot on your temple." "It's not only what you can see." "It continues under my hair." "No one can see that." "You know that." "But it wasn't like this when I was young." "I always had to have very short hair." "Crew cut." "Sometimes I wake up, soaking wet." "And I feel those cold trimmers on my temple." "Why didn't your parents let your hair get a bit longer?" "To save a few dimes." "My father always said "ask the hairdresser to cut it shorter than last time."" ""Or else I'll send you back."" ""Tell him 'crew cut'." "He'll understand."" "One day, he came home with a brownish purple little box." "The exact same colour as my scar." "There was a shiny pair of trimmers in it." "After that, he always cut our hair." "I always cried when it was my turn." "Most of the time he'd slap me." ""You're a difficult child", he'd say." ""Curly hair, curly character."" "I know all about it, damnit." "Are you crying?" "No." "Forget all that nonsense." "It doesn't mean anything." "I'll take you the way you are." "Come lie on top of me." "That'll get your mind of things." "Don't you want to?" "You can't even be bothered talking to me anymore." "Why did I have to come here then?" "Answer me!" "If you pretend you're dead, I will too." "If you don't want to have sex with me, spare me all your nonsense." "Were you very lonely?" "I walked out on you." "But I haven't been unfaithful." "I thought of you all night." "You believe me, don't you?" "You must have been cold and lonely." "Wait." "I'll warm you." "Now I understand why you don't need me." "I should have known after those stories last night." "You're just a coward." "You're afraid of life." "You're afraid of me." "Because I'm alive." "Because I'm a real woman." "So you get on a piece of chalk." "So you don't have to prove anything." "She's too fat too." "You know what you are?" "You're crazy." "That spot on your head's not that bad." "But you've got one in your head." "You're rotten in there." "You shouldn't have said that." "You can't say that." "And she's hollow too."