"♪ Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda ♪ [scatting]" "♪ Raised in a noodle shop ♪" "♪ Never seeking glory or fame ♪" "♪ He climbed the mountaintop ♪" "♪ And earned the Dragon Warrior name ♪" "Ooh!" "Ahh!" "Yah!" "♪ Kung Fu Panda [scatting]" "♪ Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ♪" "♪ And master the skills" "♪ Of bodacious and awesome" "♪ Kung Fu Panda [scatting]" "♪ He lives and he trains and he fights ♪" "♪ With the Furious Five" "♪ Protect the valley something something ♪" "♪ Something something alive ♪" "♪ Kung Fu Panda" "♪ Legends of Awesomeness" "Sweet!" "Ha!" "Ha." "[Grunts]" "Ya!" "[Catches breath]" "Po, we..." "Po?" "[Grunting]" "I can't hold on..." "Much longer." "Help!" "Look down, Po." "Oh." "[Laughs]" " [Grunts]" " Come on." "We can eat when we get to the top." "Really?" "[Grunts]" " [Laughter] - [Gasps]" "Whoa!" "Watch where you're..." "[Grunts] Lunch?" "Crocs." "For lunch?" "[Laughs]" "[Catches breath]" "Ha." "[Breathes heavily]" "We... got you." "Nuh-uh." "Yuh-huh." "Nuh-uh." " Yuh-huh!" " Nuh-uh!" " Yuh..." " Nuh-uh." "[Crocs groan]" "Aw, that's just..." "You know, why didn't you guys tell me they..." "W-would it kill you to just, I don't know." "You know, like a heads up?" "I couldn't think of the right words." "How about, um, I don't know, maybe..." "[Screams]" "Do you know these guys?" "Sure." "Uh, see, we're buddies." "[Laughs]" "They're holding me for ram-som." " Huh?" " It's "ransom."" "We're holding you for ransom." "Oof!" "[Crash]" "Get the kid!" "Yah!" "[Smack]" "Whee!" "[Gasps]" "[Grunts]" "Ya!" "[Grunting]" "[Laughs]" "[Crash] [Laughs]" "Hiya!" "[Grunting]" "Ya!" "Oof!" "[Smash]" "[Groans]" "Yay!" "This isn't over!" " [Screams]" " Um..." "Guy." "[Screams]" "Are you okay, little guy?" "[Laughs]" "Whoa, back off." "I don't do hugging." "I like you." "No, you don't." "Uh, I'm Po, and this is Tigress." "Are you sure it isn't me you like?" "'Cause usually kids are..." "Hi, Tigess." "I'm Zan." "Do you like beans?" "I can tie a knot!" "Not a big fan of the kids?" "They're a necessary step in the development of adults." "So... no?" "[Laughs]" "[Giggles]" "Ah!" "[Metal scrapes]" "Not that!" "Oh, oh, I broke that once." " Ah!" " [Laughs]" "[Crash]" "Apparently, the crocs captured him, but the boy escaped." "[Metal bangs] Hey!" " W-whoa." " [Laughs]" " [Clay smashes]" " Ah!" "[Crash]" "[Laughs]" "Zan, can you tell us where you live?" "In the blue house by the big rock or maybe green!" "Thanks for clearing that up." "Crane, Viper, I want you to find Zan's parents." "Search high and low." "Dibs on high." "I always get stuck with low." "Well, you know, 'cause uh," "I have wings and all so I can..." "Just find his parents." "Both:" "Yes, master Shifu." "I can count to 50!" "What's your favorite color?" "Mine is orange with black stripes!" "[Giggles]" "Well, obviously Zan has taken a shine to you, Tigress." "You can look after him." "What?" "Whee!" "Master Shifu, I respectfully request that... no!" "Calm down, Tigress." "It's not that I don't like kids but uh..." "Yes, it is." "Okay, yes it is." "You can't do this to me." "Master Tigress, this is a young child who's been separated from his parents." "He's in a strange place." "You know how frightening that can be." "[Lightning cracks]" "[Lightning cracks]" "Zan likes you." "That's the only thing he has to hold onto right now." "So you will take care of him and you will at least pretend to be happy about it." "Am I clear?" "[Sighs] Yes, master Shifu." "Of course." "[Giggles]" "I am happy about taking care of you." "Yay!" "[Squeals]" "[Giggles]" "Keep an eye on her, Po." "She doesn't have much experience with children." "Can do." "See, I know how kids think." "'Cause you've got the mind of a child." "Exactly." "[Sighs]" "So uh, [Laughs], Zan?" "Wanna play?" "Yeah!" "Well, go ahead." "I wanna play with you." "Uh, no." "Go on, play with him." "I don't know how." "What's to know?" "Zan?" "[Giggles]" "Ha ha!" "[Giggles]" "See?" "Just that easy." "And that's playing?" "Yes." "All right then." "Zan, let's play." "Yay, Tigess!" "Now you come over." "[Deadpan] Ha ha." "[Grunting]" "Hey there." "Are you checking up on me?" "[Chuckles] No." "No, no, no, n... yeah, sort of." "Where's..." "[Screams]" "[Giggles]" "Tigress!" "What?" "I didn't tie him to the pointy side." "Ahh, ah, oh." "Aw." "Aah!" "[Smash]" "Whoa!" "[Crash]" "Ah!" "[Fire ignites]" "Ow." "[Sizzles]" "Again, again, again!" "Tigress, you can't just tie Zan up." "Why not?" "I fed him, I watered him, and he is dressed appropriately for the weather." "He has everything he needs." "No, he doesn't." "Kids need, you know, hugs and stuff." "Why?" "Because otherwise, they grow up to be cold and unfeeling and they..." "Uh, you didn't get a lot of hugs when you were a kid, did you?" "Hugs are for the weak." "I nestled in the warm embrace of kung fu training." "Yeah." "[Chuckles]" "Okay, then why don't you try embracing Zan in some training?" "Zan, do you know anything about kung fu?" "Mama boils it with rice." "This is ridiculous." "He doesn't even know what it is." "So?" "Come on." "Give it a try." "[Sighs] Fine." "Watch me." "We'll start with a basic stance." " Ha!" " Ow!" "[Crash] Ooh." "Oops." "I accept your oops." "Now, you try it." "Wa... aah!" "No." "Ha... whoa!" "[Sighs] No." "Ha!" "[Groans] He's hopeless." "I like kung fu!" " No, he's four." " I like kung fu!" "You have to have some patience." "I like kung fu!" " [Crunch]" " Ooh, agh!" "Patience." "Want Tigess'a put me to bed." "All right, good night." "D... oh, wait." "Wait, I don't know how to..." "Where do you learn to do stuff with kids anyway?" "You don't have to learn it." "You just have to feel it." "But I don't feel anything." "Then fake it if you have to and put him to bed." "It's not firework science." "Night, Zan." "That's your bed." "[Sighs]" "Okay, good night." "Tell me a story." "Uh, I don't know any stories." "Make one up." "[Sighs]" "Uh, okay, so a person..." "Boy or girl?" "I don't know, uh, a boy." "He walked to a place and he went in and he bought some... some lumber." "And, you know, maybe he built... a thing." "[Yawns]" "A boat?" "Fine, he built a boat, the end." "A magical boat that sails in the sky." "Boats can't do that." "Why would you want me to tell you lies?" "'Cause it's a story." "Night, mama." "I'm not your..." "Shh, he's right in here." "Smash and grab." "Shh." "[Whispering] Hey there, Zanny." "How you doing?" "Sleepy, Mr. crocodile." "Gotta get moving, kid." "Upsy-Daisy." "[Yawns]" " Were we gonna..." " Shh!" "He's sleeping." "Don't wake him up." "Were we gonna leave a note or..." "No, you idiot, we're not ransoming him from the Furious Five." "We're ransoming him from his parents." "How much you asking for him?" "[Chuckles] A lot." "Man, this kid is totally worth... gah!" "All right, Fung..." "Shh." "Quiet, don't wake him." "[Grumbles]" "[Whispering] Oh, sorry." "All right, Fung." "Time to feel the thunder." "[Whispered grunt]" "[Whispering] We brought some thunder of our own." "Waa!" "Ya!" "[Muffled battle cries]" "Ow!" "[Grunts]" "Oof!" "Ooh!" "Yah!" ", wah!" "Ooh!" "Ya!" "Ow!" "Ah!" "[Bowls jingle]" "[Gasps]" "Oof!" "Ah!" "Ooh!" "[Grunts]" "Hiya!" "[Mumbles]" "Shakabooey!" "Ow." "Ooh!" "[Crash] [Bowls jingle]" "Retreat." "Retreat!" "[Muffled screams]" "Hi, Tigess." "'S goin' on?" "Nothing, Zan." "I had a funny dream." "Was it about crocodiles?" "Nah, the crocky-diles were really here." "Didn't you see 'em?" "My dream was talking clouds taught the houses how to fly." "Okay, good night." "Good night, Zan." "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!" " Ooh, ooh!" " Okay." " We've had a little setback." " Ooh, ooh!" "But whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger." " Fung!" " And the... aw." "What is it?" "Uh, maybe we're no good at this?" "Darn it, Gah-Ri!" "[Helmet clangs]" "That's just the kind of negativity..." "Fung, would your friends like some water chestnuts?" "Mom, I told you we're okay!" "If we were good at this, our secret hideout wouldn't be your parents' root cellar." "Gah-Ri, I..." "You're right." "I know you're right." "Who we fooling?" "We couldn't even handle a four year old kid." "We don't have a chance against the Furious Five." "Not the teeniest, most microscopic chance." "Fung, can your cousin Lidong play with you and your friends?" "Mom, I'm not a babysitter for that little brat." "Hey." "Lidong?" "You grew up?" "[Growls]" "Whatever we're doing, I get fifty... one percent of the take." "That." "Should." "Work." "Oof!" "A form on the far end of the valley is being threatened by bandits." "We have to go help them at once." "Right, let's go." "Not Zan, he's staying here." "Fine, Zan, stay in my room and we'll be..." " With you." " What?" "No, with Crane and Viper gone, you're gonna need me." "Leaving me here is a waste of my fighting skills." "We can handle it, Tigress." "And Zan needs a capable protector." "That's you." "[Sighs]" "Yes, master Shifu." "[Grumbles]" "All right, Zan, let's get back to the side kick." "Like this." "Okay?" "Hiya!" "No." " Ah!" " No, look." " Hiya!" " Ow!" "Watch it." "I'm sorry, Tigess." "It's "Tigress."" "How did I wind up getting stuck here with you when I could be..." "[Whimpers]" "I'm... going to get some air." "You wouldn't think a child could hit that hard." " [Smack]" " Oof!" "You wouldn't think a child could hit that hard." "I'm sorry, master Shifu." "Don't be sorry, just try it again." "[Grunts]" "No." "I can't do this." "I'm never gonna get this." "Tigress, it isn't important that you get it the first time." "Or the 2nd, or even the 50th." "When you need it, you'll get it." "I think that's enough training for today." "What do you say we play some checkers?" "Hey, Zan?" "You know how to play checkers?" "Guys, I see it." "There's the farm." " [Shriek] - [Gasps] Come on!" "Let go of her!" "It's a setup!" "Right about now, Fung is snatching that kid and there's nothing you can do about it." "Um, were you supposed to tell us that?" "I, uh... no." "[Growls]" "Both:" "Oof!" "Wah!" " Wa-ta!" " Can I take off the wig now?" "Booya kashah!" "Oof!" "Ugh!" "Fung was right." "This is gonna be fun." "[Breathes heavy]Y]" "Ha!" "[Laughs]" "Ugh!" "Ooh!" "I got the kid, let's go." "Zan!" "[Laughs]" "Let him go!" "Hiya!" "[Growls]" "[Grunts]" "Whoa!" "[Grunts]" "[Laughs]" "All:" "Oof!" "[Whimpers]" "[Both scream]" "[Panting] We gotta get back to the palace." "[Grunts]" "Oow!" "[Growls]" "Whoa!" "Oof!" " [Crunch]" " Ah!" "Get that kid outta here to somewhere else." "I'll handle him." "Can't argue with that, cos." "Zan!" "Yah!" "What... ugh!" " [Grunts]" " Ooh!" "Ha!" "[Growls]" "[Both scream]" " [Bang]" " Ah." "Give me that kid." "You guys are pathetic." "Well I wouldn't say..." "Agh!" "Oof!" "[Laughs]" "Zan." "[Grunts]" "Ah!" "[Grunts]" "Oof!" "Oow." "Careful." "Don't wanna hurt the little prince." "Prince?" "Oof!" "Ga... whoa!" "[Grunting]" "Stop it, stop it!" "Shut it, kid." "It's okay, Zan, it's okay." "Yeah, yeah, sure it is." "Any last words?" "Yes." "Zan, side kick!" "Huh?" "Hiya!" "I'm gonna..." "You're not gonna do anything!" "Ooh!" " Ugh." " Ah." "Come here, you... ow!" "Run, Zan!" "Oof!" "[Screams]" "No!" " Stop it, stop it!" " [Laughs]" "Let him go!" " Ya!" " [Grunts]" "[Mumbles]" "[Smack] Whoa!" "[Both scream]" "If I'm not getting him, no one is!" "Nobody." "Hurts." "My." "Zan!" "Whoa!" "Ha!" "[Screams]" "[Thud] Ow." "Oh, Zan, are you okay?" "Sure, are you?" "I'm never letting you out of my sight again." "We got company." "It's Zan's mother." "What?" "Announcing Zu Chunhua, sister of the emperor, princess of..." "Oh, stop that." "Zan, is he here?" "Mama!" "Oh, Zanny." "Hey, it's okay." "Uh, o-of course it's okay." "It's... it's great." "Oh, I can't thank you all enough for rescuing Zan." "It was an honor, your highness." "Tigess." "Can you come with us?" "No, Zan, but I promise I'll come visit you." "Good-bye, masters of the Jade Palace." "You have my gratitude." "Bye." "Good-bye." "Master Shifu, I wanna thank you." "For what?" "For checkers." "You know, Tigress, you're all tough on the outside." "But inside, you're just a big softie... ow!" " [Crunch]" " Oh, ow, not a softie!" "Oh, ooh, a hardie!" " Definitely a hardie!" " [Crunch]"