"[cat mewing]" "How's it going, kitty-cat?" "I'll just take my jacket off." "I'll just take my jacket of my..." "[Nina] This is my niece, Lydia." "He's a nice kitty-cat, he's a nice kitty-cat." "You have to go to sleep right now." "On the pillow..." "She was the first baby to become a significant part of my life." "I am tired too..." "And I try to record all the sweet and funny moments of her childhood." "I didn't want to forget them." "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" "♪ Happy birthday, dear Lydia ♪" "[Nina] It was when Lydia was born, that I began to really want a baby of my own." "That was, over a decade ago." "It's certainly not for lack of trying to find the right man, that I find myself still single at 41." "And in the meantime, seemingly, everyone on Earth has managed to marry and procreate." "Except me." "My aunt is crazy, okay?" "She is a filmmaker, she has a big camera." "She is trying to film me, while I'm talking to you on the phone because she thinks it's amusing." "This is my nephew, Addison." "He's eleven and Lydia's now fourteen." "Hi, Nini." "I came Uptown, to seek my sister-in-law's advice about my rapidly diminishing, ovarian reserve." "So, basically, what I want to talk to you about is, I'm wondering... if I should just give up on "Mr. Right" at this point, and have a baby alone." "I'm 41 and a half." "And you wanna have this baby biologically, as opposed to adopting?" "I want to try." "Hopefully, if you have a... really good experience, you would be able to still have a baby, biologically." "We could talk about it, the source of the sperm." "And then, you would have a child and then you could still fall in love." "And get married, if that's important to you or not get married but be in a loving partnership for the rest of your life." "So, you could have the child and you could have the loving partnership for the rest of your life." "It's just going to happen in that order, rather than that order." "That's okay." "It's totally fine." "Would there be no father, or would uncles be expected to occupy the father role?" "That would be great." "This is my brother, Kirk." "Would they get a vote in that at all, or would it be just sort of a..." "I'm going out tonight, my poor little baby will be home alone, in need of a father." "I just wouldn't spend any more time on the past." "It..." "It unfolded the way it did." "You have had a great life, you're a happy person." "You've learned a lot, you've loved a lot, you've lived a lot." "That's awesome." "So just focus on the present, here you are, you're 41 and a half." "You are running out of time, biologically, unfortunately." "So if you're gonna go that route, put down the camera and go get some sperm and get pregnant." "I have a question." "Can I have your sperm?" "This is Eric." "Well, as I've told you before, I don't know whether my sperm is, you know, the ideal sperm, that you would want." "Eric and I have been close friends since college." "He's gay and I've often thought of him over the years as my back-up plan." "Evidently, studies show that younger sperm is better." "I think you are a... first of all, from a genetic point of view, incredibly intelligent and gorgeous." "And, I love you the way I feel like I love my family, so that's what I would want." "That's the next best thing to being in love." "Seems to me, that parenting can be exceedingly difficult." "And..." "I love kids too, but I love them because I'm not... ultimately, responsible for their welfare." "And..." "I don't know how someone does it alone." "And... you know," "I'm not going to be around." "So, who's..." "When the child is wailing in the night, every night." "Who's going to be going over to the room?" "You know?" "When are you going to be getting your sleep?" "If you agree to do this, it's a generous act on your part to help me be happy." "This is not your responsibility, it's mine." "I'm making the decision, I'm a hundred percent responsible." "Anything after that is gravy." "As I was spraying the Steri-Fab in all these crevices, literally, they started just popping out." "Amy is my best friend, and at the moment she's battling bed-bugs." "At night is when they come out and that's when they're gonna bite you." "How many people in New York, have bed-bugs?" "I would say... a lot." "Manhattan, probably, has a lot, because... so many tourists, a lotta traveling and these bugs have a tendency to travel." "Do you deal with people who are, like, just... sobbing and having a nervous breakdown?" "Yeah, pretty much." "I've dealt with people that have actually gone to therapy." "People just can't deal with it." "Especially, you know, women, older women that are single." "They just can't deal with it." "[Nina] Amy and I have been best friends for over ten years." "And together, in the trenches, of New York City dating." "If I were not single right now," "I can guarantee you, I would not have bed-bugs." "[Nina] What do you mean?" "I mean, I'm 100% positive, well..." "I'm 99% positive, that..." "I got them on account of a person being in the apartment, who would not be here if I was not single." "[Nina] Okay." "Well, is this making you depressed about being single?" "I mean, I wouldn't say I'm depressed about it in the sense of, like," "I'm moping around, feeling bad, because I'm single." "But..." "I think that the moment I feel like there is no male interest in my life," "I do become depressed." "This is my friend, Elizabeth, who decided to have a baby on her own, at thirty-eight." "She's generously agreed to let me come with her to a sonogram appointment, to help me figure out what I should do." "What are you thinking about, Elizabeth?" "I'm actually thinking, like, am I being calm enough, in general, for her?" "That's what I'm thinking." "Do you feel like you love her already?" "Oh, my God, yes." "[Nina] You're gonna make me cry, honey." "Do you see a lot of single women, at this age, having babies on their own?" " Oh, tons." " Tons?" "Tons!" "In New York City?" " Yeah in New York City, yeah." " Oh, yeah." "Sure." "It's very common." "What do you think about it?" "Uh..." "It's hard being a parent, period." "So, I am wondering what you guys think, about whether or not..." "This is my brother, Tim and his family." "I should try to have a baby, by myself, without a husband." "Just me and my little baby, who would be your cousin." "How is that possible?" "You got to a lab and..." "They put male sperm into your... private." "[children laugh]" "[Nina] So, we've established that I could have a baby without a husband." "But why would you want to?" "Well, I'm..." "It whines and cries and barfs and..." "What do you know?" "You might have a twin." "Or triplets like us." "And how could you handle that without a husband?" "Nina, you often worry about your situation in life, and financially, how you're situated." " Am I right?" " Yeah." "What about having a child, is gonna make that stressor go away?" "It's not, it's just gonna get worse." "[Nina] It's not, yeah, it's not." "Then you have to pay for college." "Private school, you know, whatever it is." "[Nina] Yeah." "Clothes, food." "Okay, maybe, you want your kid to have some tennis lessons?" "You know." "Whatever it is, you're..." "It's just..." "It adds up." "And..." "[Nina] But what about the fact that most of the world doesn't have all this stuff." " I mean, do we need so much stuff?" " But you don't..." "No, you don't." "But..." "Think about the way that you grew up." "And what you expect to provide for your child." "You don't expect to provide a worse life for your child than you had." "Do you?" "But..." "I think, it's just human nature, to think that you're always going to try to do better for your child than even you had." "Mommy, mommy, look!" "Mommy, look." "It's a fishing rod!" "[Tim's wife] Oh, my gosh, a fishing rod." "Mommy!" " Mommy." " Wait, wait, wait." "You know, guys." "You know what you need to do now?" "Look through the pile." "Can I get a sports car?" "My brothers have replicated the way we grew up." "And even surpassed it." "[kids] Oh, yeah." "Shin guard!" "Spending time with their families, inevitably, makes me question the choices I've made in life." "Love that." "Love it." "Love it." "Love it." "Tim is a banker and Kirk is a corporate lawyer." " Oh, my God!" " This is so much better." "Well, we got the good one." "I've been making documentary films since college." "My parents got married in 1958." "At 28 and 29." "My dad was an eligible Harvard man and a Michigan Law School graduate." "My mom had majored in Art History at Smith, and like most women those days, minored in finding a husband." "Shortly after my parents' honeymoon, my mom got pregnant." "She had Kirk and two years later, Tim." "When my father was hired as an auto-executive, they left New York for Michigan, bought a house in the burbs and then had me." "My mom was, what they called a housewife." "Although, she eventually started an Oriental rug business." "And my dad was a provider." "My parents made sure my brothers and I were given every advantage in life." "Being the youngest, and a girl, in a male dominated family, wasn't always easy." "But I still cling to an idealized image of the way we grew up." "And find myself wanting my family's approval." " [Nina] Dad..." " What?" "Are you ready to have a serious conversation?" "So..." "Could I start?" "Well, I was gonna talk to you about something." "Okay." "Go ahead." "So, in case you haven't noticed, I'm 41." " I know that." " And... still not married." " Uh-huh..." " And..." "I feel that my biological clock is running out." "I've heard you say that before." "I still hear ticking." " So..." " Tick-tock, tick-tock." "I'm just wondering what you think about the idea of my having a baby without a husband." "I think it's ridiculous." " Why?" " There are lots of..." "Must be a lot of men in New York who are looking for a wife, just as you're looking for a husband." "Maybe you haven't found the right place to look yet." "Well..." "You're still young and attractive." "You're not 21 any more but you're still... attractive 41-year-old woman, who looks a lot younger, you could pass for 31, easily." "Thank you." "Another aspect, by the way, if you had... were to have a child, if it's gonna be a fatherless child," "Uh... that makes... you're a single mother with a fatherless child, begins to sound like... the ghetto." "I love my Dad." "But we've always struggled to understand each others' points of view." "The things you're afraid of, in terms of having the baby are... mainly logistical." "Andrew is a good friend." "But the thing that's motivating you is simple and unambiguous, it's..." "It comes from a place of love." "I often seek his advice when I'm lost." "That's an important thing to remember and that should be," "you know, the source of energy you draw on to motivate your actions and your decisions." "What made you wanna have kids?" "I had a feeling and it wasn't sentimental." "And it wasn't..." "And I mean sentimental in the terms of unearned emotion." "I loved my children before they were around and had before, that feeling, from time to time, before I was even married, you know." "And visions and little daydream fantasies of things I would do with my children, whether they were boys or girls." "Walks we would take, things we would do in the park." "I'd reminisce about small little moments with my dad, or my mom that were very..." "It's funny they were inconsequential, they're not the kinds of things that you remember as memories." "Um... [woman talking]" "[Nina] This is my mom." "Take a look at this." "See if you can figure out what it is." "It's a nice purse." "If someone snatches it, you pull this little ring and it has an alarm." "[Nina] Are you going to use it?" "Well, it's heavy." "That's the only reason I don't." "And I hate to give it away, but it's so unique!" "Alarm, by Theodore of California." "[Nina] Okay." "Speaking of hidden things, what's in that pocket there?" "[Nina's mom] A cigarette." "Okay." "I'm going have one, later." "Phil, do you want to see something interesting?" "You're walking along in Rome... and somebody tries to snatch your purse." ""Protect her handbag."" "You, pull this little ring, see?" "Look." "In, out, you pull the ring and... there's an alarm inside." "You've got to keep your thumb in that loop the whole time?" "Well, yeah." "I guess, I don't know, I haven't read all the directions." "So, if he snatches vigorously enough you'll..." "You'll lose your thumb, as well as your purse." "Throw it out." "It's a piece of junk." "[Nina's mom] Oh..." "[Nina] My parents were opposites." "[Nina] Can I see that eye-rolling again?" "Take two." "I always identified more with my mom's enthusiasm, than my dad's pragmatism." "It's not a piece of junk." "I was closer to my mother." "She was a great mom." "And she's a huge part of why I want a baby so badly." "I want to experience the bond we had again." "But this time, from her perspective." "Recently, that feeling has become acute." "[Mr Davenport] Hi Nina, it's Dad calling from France." "Uh..." "Um..." "Well, a terrible tragedy has happened... to your mother." "And I'll tell you about it if you'll call me." "[Nina] My mom died a year and a half ago in France." "So my brothers and my mom's identical twin sister and I traveled there." "It was sudden." "She either had a stroke or a heart attack." "[Kirk] Oh, Mom!" "God you look so small in there." "You had such a big influence on all of our lives." "For me, you just gave me unconditional support and love." "You were my advocate." "I think we're all going to realize how much we depended on you, starting now." "I feel like, in some ways, my childhood just ended." "[Man] So, how did you two get together?" "[Nina] Well, I actually am single..." " Mm-hmm." " And Eric has come as a supportive friend." "Reluctantly supportive friend." "But he's here, nonetheless." "Okay." "[Nina] I've decided I'm ready to step it up a notch." "So I'm meeting with a fertility specialist." "So I want to have a baby by myself and I'm actually trying to convince" "Eric to do it with me." "So, as you can see, the normal process of fertilization we have sperm deposited in the vaginal area." "As we all know, sperm have little tails, like a little fish." "And then the sperm is going to start the most difficult journey the sperm is going to go through, before they can meet with the egg, to go through this very, very, narrow tube." "It's called the fallopian tube." "I call it, sort of, like a Lincoln Tunnel." "I'm not sure why Dr. Zang is telling us about the birds and the bees, seeing as Eric and I are not exactly planning on having sex." "The opening of the tube." "I call it Manhattan City," "So, finally this sperm reaches to Manhattan City..." "Okay, I literally have an entire box of hormones." "Menopur." "Eric's agreed to be my donor and we're doing IVF with a different doctor." "Are they trying to make me create, like... an army of babies?" "Do you realize how many shots into my person this is going to entail?" "I don't know how much of it to do." "I mean, I thought they said 10cc's or something." "[Nina] A cycle of IVF takes a month and Amy is going to give me the shots." "I'm concerned that she doesn't have a better grip on what we're supposed to be doing." "[Nina] I'm freaking out!" "Amy is the perfect person to help, because she's very calm and very fastidious." "Wait!" "Don't do anything yet." "Don't do anything, because the whole instructions with it are very precise." "So, can we go through them step by step?" "Amy is willing to be my birth partner, if I get pregnant." "She doesn't want kids, so it's a chance for her to be a semi-parent." "And we spend all our free time together, anyway." "It's, kind of, the perfect situation." " Amy." " Yes?" "[Nina] What are you doing?" "I'm trying to work." "Ame... while you were trying to work, it occurred to me that this is the closest I've ever gotten" "to experiencing any kind of domesticity, is you working with your bra showing in my apartment." "Well, I would much rather have me with my bra, than some hairy, sweaty guy, in his wife-beater." "We were told, this was impossible." "We were told, the climb was too steep." "[Nina] I'm half-way through IVF and some friends have come over to watch the Democratic primaries." "Amy is in a bad mood, because she just got dumped." "Basically, it turns out it was really... sex, for him." "And... that really hurt my feelings." "[Nina] She's just feeling rejected, which is the worst feeling..." "I know, it's just as bad." "[woman] That is a feeling that really, I mean, compared to how it was when we all started." "That feeling now goes." "It's like the rejection feeling." "I mean, I used to be all... [man] Do you ever get used to it or..." "No, I mean, not you." "[both laughing]" "I've been rejected." " Several times." " I'm just saying, it just is, I think, as we, you know, it's like we just don't pay as much attention to it." "Don't worry." "This is the Menopur." "No, this is the false..." "Which one is this?" "Wait, this is the Menopur." "While our friends keep watching TV," "Amy and I are shooting up hormones again." "All right, this is what I think." "Okay, we can't use that one because it just hit the floor." "Fuck off!" "Why am I doing this?" "It's bleeding." "[Man] Why are you?" "I guess I just have this biological compulsion to have a kid, but I don't even know why." "I really, I've always wanted kids and I want to be pregnant." "And I want to have one of my own and I might want to adopt one also, girls." "Ideally, both girls." "[Amy chuckles] And..." "Mmm..." "[Nina] Why do some people want kids so badly and some people can live without them?" "You know what?" "That's a good question." "How do you explain that?" "You know what, I can't explain..." "Is it biological?" "I don't know." "[Nina] This is Monica, who has two kids on her own." "I could live without being married..." "It's disappointing, but I could not live without these kids." "I'm sure, if I did not have these kids, I would've..." "I just don't think I could have been happy." "I just don't think I could have had lived a satisfying life." "For me." "You know?" "But that's a good question." "I don't know why some women can..." "I've sometimes thought it would be easier, if I didn't want these kids so much, you know what I mean?" " It would." " Kind of..." "Could have saved some heart ache and disappointment and, then, you know..." "I've kind of stopped trying to figure it out." "Like, I spent a lot of time in my thirties, before I had my kids, agonizing about it." "Like, certainly between 30 and 35 you know." "I had been living with somebody, we split up when I was thirty and then there was that five year period of sort of, like you said, dating feverishly, dating desperately, kind of, asking anybody to set you up with anybody that they know and..." " Yeah." " And..." "You know, and then..." "You know, and then constantly wondering like," ""Why is this not happening for me?" "Why is this happening for this one?"" "And then feeling so awful every time you know, you got a wedding invitation or you heard somebody was pregnant." "It was just kind of like a shot on the heart." "But then once I..." "Once I made the decision to have Max and once I was pregnant with Max, just everything changed." "[phone rings]" "Hello?" "[Man] Has it happened?" "I'm trying to figure out where... where the upper left hand quadrant of my ass is." "Do you have any idea?" "I do." "I have a great idea." "I can see it right now." "[Nina] As if my life weren't complicated enough right now," "I recently started dating someone." "John, that's wicked hot." "And he lives on the West Coast." "Do you swear to God, that you would still have sex with me, even if I was pregnant or had a baby?" "Absolutely." "That's so sweet!" "That's like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." "[John laughs] [sighs]" "One, two, three..." "My donor isn't letting me film him." "This is a problem." "Today is the big day when Eric donates his sperm and they retrieve my eggs and start to try and make embryos." "[Eric] How are we doing on time here?" "[Nina] So, how did you get prepared this morning?" "Well, how I prepare for everything, which is by fretting." "And then," "I went to the porno site, to make sure, you know, the plumbing's still working." "[Nina laughing]" "I hope you're not going to interact with the child with the paper in front of your face at all times." "The contract doesn't prevent me." "[Eric] Maybe we should get your verbal agreement on camera." "[Nina] Okay." "I agree that you bear no financial responsibility, or otherwise, to this child." "And I bear sole or entire responsibility for raising him or her, and will not hold you liable, or try to get money out of you, or try to make you change diapers." "My doctor says they got 30 embryos." "But even so, the odds are not in my favor." "This object is about to determine my fate." "Oh, my God!" "[phone ringing]" "Darren Paul, what's going on?" "I'm pregnant!" "I'm pregnant!" "Congratulations!" "Having told Eric and Amy, I decide to tell my aunt next." "Are you serious?" "Yup." "I'm pregnant." "No, Nina, come on, you're teasing me." "Yes!" "I am, it's true!" " Are you teasing me?" " No." "You are?" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "[kid] Who did you mate with?" "Who's seed?" "Who's the father?" "[Nina] My friend, Eric Oleson." "Are you..." "Oh, my God!" "He's an old friend and..." "Did you know this was happening?" "I thought that she was just fat." "Are you crying?" "A little bit, as I think about this." "Why are you crying?" "I don't know, I'm happy for you." "Really?" "It's been such a long journey for you." "And just thinking about all this motherhood stuff." "I know that you've been wanting a kid for a long time." "So it's really amazing." "[Nina] I know." "Ten years." "It's really amazing." "This is my niece, Lydia, at eight." "Have you ever seen The Three Stooges, Lyd?" "Taking a shower!" "I'm ecstatic to be pregnant." "Taking a shower!" "Taking a shower!" "Taking a shower!" "Singing in the shower." "Singing in the shower!" "For so long, I was afraid I might never be a parent." "And now," "I just feel overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of what I'm taking on." "Do you like being a kid?" "Would you rather be an adult?" "This little container here has... holds seven days supply of pills." "I'm in Michigan to tell my dad I'm pregnant." "Avapro!" "That's... for high blood pressure." "I'm afraid I'm going to give him a heart attack." "Metoprolol." "Also for high blood pressure." "And I'm not used to dealing with my dad directly." "My mom was always the buffer between us." "So what's your feeling about getting old?" "Well it's a lot better than dying young." "The hard thing is being a widower, without Trudy." "Aunt Kit," "I'm scared shitless." "Just go ahead, you're going to have to do it." "Okay, are you just going to listen?" " And then come in?" " No, I'll come in if it's, you know..." "Will you come in at a strategic moment?" "Yeah, if it's..." "Okay, what if I pee in my pants?" "I actually think I'm going to." "I do think it's more likely he's going to." "Dad..." "Will you put down The New York Times?" "So, I have something to tell you." "What?" "I'm working on your 80th birthday present." "Oh!" "And it's going to be ready shortly before your 80th birthday." "A film?" "No." "A new car?" "[Nina laughs]" "All right, I'll give you a hint." "It's something that takes a long time to make." "Well, maybe a knitted set of long underwear." "That takes twice as long as a sweater." "It takes... [laughing]" "Okay." "It takes... nine months to make." "Oh, my God, you're pregnant." "Yup." "You're pregnant?" "[laughing] Yes." "Help!" "Send for the abortionist." "Aunt Kit." "To the rescue!" "Come on, my bodyguard!" " Listen, I think it's so exciting." " Help me!" "We're going to have another little guy in the family." "I didn't believe at first either." " I had trouble absorbing it." " You're not serious?" " What?" " You're not serious?" "I am serious." "Good God." "What's your reaction?" "Get an abortion." "You know who I feel like now is my sister, rolling my eyes... up to heaven." "If only my mom were still here." "Look, I'm filming right now the smoke that is killing my mother." "It is and I know it." "I've got to stop." "And I'm going to, by God." "She was a chain-smoker and I always worried about her." "What are the stakes in your mind about... what's going to happen if you don't quit." "I'll die, but I'm 75 years old, I'm going to die anyway." "Well, I'm 74." "Well, so you don't feel, like, the stakes are high?" "They're high because of my children and my husband." "You don't understand that giving up smoking is like giving up your very best friend and the best thing you ever do in you're whole life." "And it's the most fun and it relieves the most tension and it's the best thing in the world to do," "And even..." "But it's bad for your health, so you have to worry about those..." "weigh those two things..." "I don't want to talk about this either." "That's enough." "I sometimes wonder if my mom smoked, partly, to cope with being married to my dad." "[Nina] So, getting back to the previous conversation..." "Can you tell me again why it is that you think that I'm a dilettante?" "Because you picked an occupation that's not really... no one would ever pick, who needed to make a living." "Because you can't make a living at what you're doing." "Well, that's not a..." "[Nina] And what's your definition of a dilettante?" "Sort of an amateur." "And you really feel that way?" "Yeah." "And you expect me to..." "I mean if you had a husband, who was supporting you, you could afford the luxury of making documentary films." "But since you don't..." "Nina, I think Dad's wrong about the definition." "I'm going to go get the dictionary." "[Nina] Mom, please, can you not be in denial, it's really painful." "You heard what he said, he doesn't..." "I know, but he's wrong and stupid." "He doesn't like what I do and he thinks I'm a dilettante." "That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard in my life." "And he doesn't care at all that it's an insulting thing to say." "He's having..." "He's not having any reaction." "He's enjoying it, hurting your feelings." "I think he enjoys it." "[Nina] Do you?" "Yeah, you do." "It's one thing to do something that's pure pleasure, if you could afford the luxury... of doing something that's not remunerative." "[Nina's mom] Who said it's for pleasure?" "It's hard work." "Look at that." "It's getting so big." "There is someone living..." "There's someone in there." "Living in there." "John!" "[John] Yeah." "Come visit me." "Hi." "It's completely terrifying and lonely in here, I can't bear it." "There's two of you in there." "What are you talking about?" "This is my boyfriend, John, who's come to visit from LA." "Hey, I want to know how you're feeling about all this madness." "What's you're experience in this right now?" "I mean, I'm sure guys have gotten involved with women who are pregnant by other men, but not by such, you know..." "Test tubes?" "Technologically..." "Yeah, really." "But not by, you know..." "Well, although it's probably..." "I mean, it probably has happened." "But it's got to be a rare situation." "[Nina] Yeah." "You know." "Well does it make you feel better that I didn't shag the person who impregnated me?" "Probably." "To be honest about it, yeah, probably." "I mean, it's kind of..." "It's kind of primal, but it's..." "Yeah." "[Nina] Nice ass." "Thanks." "Don't take any shortcuts, if this falls on me or the baby, we're dead." "I am the shortcut." "If you wanted this done properly, you should have hired somebody." "[Nina] It's true you are a film critic, and not a carpenter." "I sort of forgot." "John is so great." "And I have to admit, it's really nice to have a man around the house, for a change." "That's his house." "So that's likes pretty good representation of what he looks like." "Amy is going on an Internet date tonight." "This is the picture that's going to subject me to merciless ridicule about this guy." "[Nina] Oh, my God, which one is he?" "This one." "I mean, if he didn't have that hairdo, I actually think he would be really handsome there." "[Nina] Amy, as you're preparing for this date tonight, what's on your mind?" "What's going on in your head?" "Well, partially, being worried, because I'm late." "And, feeling worried, because" "I'm going to be leaving the house with wet hair, which means that, what my hair actually looks like when I get there is not going to be what it looks like when I leave the house." "During the date," "I'm so preoccupied... with wondering if I look good or bad, that I am really not even paying attention to what the guy is saying." "[Nina] All right, but what's going on in your head about Todd right now?" "Nothing, it's not about him, it's about me." "[Nina] Have fun, Amy." "Bye." "I want Amy to find someone who really appreciates how wonderful she is." "But I also don't want to share her." " Is that okay for you, Amy?" " Yeah." "Right, so part of what we're doing here is..." "[Nina] We've started taking a child birthing class." "But we also want to make sure you're going to have the energy to do this." "This is the solar-plexus point and it's good for all over general body relaxation." "I don't know what I would do without Amy." "She is such an incredible friend." "[Woman] This is the worst pain you are ever going to experience." "What might happen if it's the worst pain ever, Nina?" " That I might die." " There we go." "Exactly, that is exactly where we go." "Oh, my God, if this is the worst pain ever," "I might die." "Let's be very clear." "A part of you will die." "That's why you're afraid of that." "There will be a sudden and immediate death of the part of you that could get up and walk out of your house whenever you want to, the minute this baby emerges from your body." "And the part of you that is the mother, that will replace that, is slow to emerge." "[Nina] Here, look, you can point the camera, at yourself and..." "This is my nephew, Addison, on his seventh birthday." "So why don't you show the camera your missing tooth?" "My tooth!" "And January 27th, my birthday." "[Addison] This is the hall." "I gave him the camera, so he could film." "[Addison] Now let's take a look inside." "That's the Jets' coach." "That's a nice tackle by the Jets." "Here's my bookshelf and boy do I have a lot of books." "I made these!" "[Nina] Now that I'm entering the third trimester," "I'm starting to get my mind around the idea that this alien growing inside me will someday be a person..." "[Addison] It lights up." "[Nina] ...with a point of view and a personality." "[Addison] Now this is where we're going to have the party." "See all those presents?" "They're for me." "[Nina] I just found out the incredibly exciting and somewhat terrifying news." "I'm having a boy." "[woman] It's yawning." "Hi, baby." "He just yawned." "[Nina] Uh-huh..." "I'm getting an ultrasound to check that everything is okay." "[sonographer] It's a lot of movement there, I know you didn't feel it but I see a lot of movement." "[Amy] I mean, I feel like we've gotten past so many big hurdles, you know, it's like we had all the shots and then, you know, it was, were we going to get any," "whatever..." "Were there going to be any fetuses out of it, and then was it going to implant properly and..." "[John] I love the fact, Amy, that you say "we"" "throughout the pregnancy, as if you were Nina's husband." "Yeah, I think this now needs to be addressed." "Well, I..." "I know I feel like we haven't addressed it." "And I've been meaning to address it." "I mean, I've been like I have to find the right moment to have a conversation with Nina..." "[Nina] Oh, no." "What are you going to tell me?" "Don't tell me bad news right now, I can't deal..." "No, it's not bad news, but I mean, just..." "[John] You're not leaving Nina, are you?" "No." "I know." "Right?" "So tell me what's..." "What's going on?" "What brings you guys here?" "I'm about to give birth and Amy is my birth partner." "Okay." "I call her, jokingly, "The Wife."" "I just want to recognize that it is... that this is kind of odd that we're here, you know, doing couple's therapy, since we're not, you know, a conventional couple." "[Amy] However, you know, our relationship does have a lot of couple-like qualities." "I, you know, need her, because..." "I've been counting on her to be there for me for this." "And so I guess I have this fear that..." "That, you know," "I'm motivated by need, she's motivated by guilt." "[therapist] Okay." "And I think I don't want to feel like I'm the person who is, sort of, taken for granted, that I'm going to be there at all times and that I almost have, like, a semi-obligation." "Obviously, I've..." "I am not choosing to have children at this point in my life and..." "I don't want the responsibility of being a parent." "You know, and I don't feel that..." "I can't believe Amy is setting limits now." "I'm traumatized." "Today is four weeks from the due date." "And I should be excited, but I have to tell you," "I'm not." "Now, when I look around, all I see is every single person on the subway, every single person on the street, represents nine months of a woman's suffering." "I'm seriously wondering what I've gotten myself into." "Just calm down." "And feeling jealous of people like my friend, Dara, who did it the old fashioned way." "[baby crying]" "This is Willy, born yesterday." "This is the first time I've checked his diaper." "And this is Howie." "[Nina] You guys, I want to know how you feel about this baby." " Right now, tell me." " I love him." "It's a lot of work, though." "I mean, you know, it's..." "It's probably going to take a lot of, you know, energy and resources from both of us, so, you know, we're lucky to have each other in this case, to do it together." "And we're going to hire people and... use outside resources as much as possible." "But, you know, we're lucky in the sense that we're really soulmates and we think a lot." "And we do things the same, so, you know, without even asking we'll be on the same page." "And that's going to make it a lot easier." "[Nina] You think a lot alike, you mean?" "Yeah, we think a lot alike." "[Nina] Howie, are you trying to make me feel bad?" "I'm kind of getting that feeling." "What do you mean?" "This film is about being a single mom." "I mean, it's not..." "I had no idea that was..." "Oh, you knew what it was about." "Yeah I know what it's about but I didn't realize that this was..." " Is it not pertinent?" " It's not about me." "[Nina] I mean, you did just have a baby." "So, I think we can table my issues for just, like..." "[Howie] You know why I say that... 24 or 48 hours and then it'll be about me again." " Right, Dara?" " No, see, Nina, I mean," "I say that, because, in all seriousness, you have a much harder time, because I see what it's like with two people, and you are alone, so, wow!" "You know, that's going to be... twice!" "Even more than twice, exponential." "There's no question that you can do it and do it well." "I was just saying that we're lucky, you know, luckier." "[Dara] You're digging yourself into a..." "I'm in a deeper hole." "I can relate to Willy." "Seeking solace, I go visit Elizabeth, who gave birth to Olivia." "So how do you feel about your baby?" "I'm completely in love." "Completely in love." "And..." "[Nina] So, I mean, what is your feeling overall about, you know, the single mother thing and being by yourself and..." "Well, I mean, I think, you know, it can, you know..." "It can be done and it's not like a deprived situation, because..." "A lot of people were saying..." "And even the father, even Olivia's father was saying," ""Oh, this not ideal, this is not ideal."" "And there was a point where I was like," ""What's ideal?"" "And I don't want to be thinking about, "it's not ideal" and that..." "And a friend, like, echoed that, like, "Just drop it because nothing's ideal."" "And I think it's been great, vis-a-vis my job because I think a lot of people..." "You know, I have a very..." "It's a very conservative environment and I think I'm showing a lot of people that it's like, a woman can have a baby by herself and, you know, and do just fine." "[Amy] Guys, can people come into the living room?" "I think everybody knows that the reason we're here is... [everyone laughing]" "Because Nina's having a baby." "We're so proud of you, Nina, for doing this." "And we're so excited." "And we can't wait to see you transition to this new phase of your life." "Joe, this is awesome!" "I don't know what any of this stuff is." "The Wife has totally been telling me what things are, what to get..." "I'm completely in the dark." "Nina, it's for wrapping the baby." "And speaking of moms, moms and no real dads." "Wow!" "Awesome." "Amy, look. [Toy squeaks]" "That's adorable." "Amy, do you see why I couldn't help myself?" "Yeah, I do." "I mean, this is..." "I'm sorry but this is reason enough to have a child." "Just, just..." "Just to be able to buy this object and have a reason to buy it." "I mean, who can resist." "I'm sorry, who can possibly..." "No, it's so great." "I love it." "That's really cute." "Okay, this I can't return anyway, because" " I took the tag off." " Look at the tummy." "But how cute..." "It's adorable, but I think that we should say, officially no more stuffed animals." ""Dear Nin, Happy almost birthday of your little one."" "And of a new wonderful chapter in your life, which I know you will live to its fullest." "And... during which you will, form one of the most..." ""And during which you will form"" "one of the most important bonds that can exist between people." "You are going to be a wonderful mom." ""Lots of love, Ame."" "That's sweet, Ame." "Ame, what are you doing?" " I'm just trying to..." " Palpate." "Palpate the baby." "To what end?" "It's three days past my due date, and Amy is trying to induce labor." " My pre-labor team, Nikola," " Hello." "Ame-ala, and Maury." "Hi." "[women laughing]" "Bloody show is a cohesive mass." " This is really gross." " What is that?" "One woman once described it as chicken fat coming out of her." "That's what it looked like." "Hey!" "Maury, how's it going?" "Every night's a party!" " It is." " Let me tell you something." "Eric's just come to wish me luck." ""He doesn't want to witness what he calls "the grizzly scene of childbirth."" "I was over at... my friend's house." " With the children." " Yeah." " Decorating the tree." " Yeah." "Okay, one of them batted the... the tinsel box into my face." "See this wound here?" "Okay, because they were fighting over the tinsel box." " Yeah." " Okay." "What point are you making?" "[Nina moaning]" "Ow." "That's 20." "It's hard to imagine a worse place to be in labor than a New York City taxi cab at rush hour." "[car horn beeps]" "[Nina moans]" "It's going to be over soon." "Ow." "[moaning] Ow." "Okay, we're starting now." "Yeah." "Aw..." "Okay." "Ow..." "[Amy] Okay, we're going to get through this, Nina." "If you need an epidural, that's totally fine." "The main thing here is not about you, how you handle labor." "It's about having the baby." "That's the whole point." "Amy, I'm in so much pain, I don't give a shit about the baby right now." "I'm just, like, "This is hell, I hate him."" "So much for natural childbirth." " Eric." " [Eric on phone] Yes." "Amy, what's happening?" "Nina, what's happening?" "I caved and I got the epidural." "[Eric laughs]" "Okay, so what's happening now?" "I am having, as we speak, a massive contraction." "Ow..." "A massive contra..." "So what is the position of the baby right now?" "[moans]" "Okay, wait, hang on, hang on." "Ow..." "[Kirk] Hey, babe!" "Hi, guys." "Kirk and Peg and a friend happened to arrive, just as it's time to start pushing." "You're going to pull your thighs open." "And then you take a breath in, hold the air in, like you're under water." "I didn't expect the hospital to let so people into the delivery room." "Take a deep breath in." "And squeeze down in your bottom." "Hold the air in and push down." "Push down." "That's it, Nina." "Come on, come on, come on." " That's it!" " That's it." "She got it." " Good." " Perfect, perfect." " One more time." " One more." " Don't lose any ground here." " Okay." "Here we are," " Ten, Nine..." " Squeeze down." " Eight..." " Good, good!" "Seven, six, five, four..." "More, more, more, hold it, hold it." " Three, two..." " Good, good, good, good." " One..." " And..." " Good job!" " Chest, chest." " Come on, Nina, come on." " Seven, six..." "Harder, harder, harder." " Five, four, three, two..." " That's it." "One..." "Is that Baby Daddy?" "Yes, it is!" "Baby Daddy!" "Here, you just put your hand on her foot and push her up there and push this knee down and up." "And squeeze down." "Come on, Nina." "Ten, nine..." "All the way down." "As hard as you can." " Seven, six..." " Harder, come on!" " Four, three..." " Come on." "Two..." "One..." "I'll never get this much attention again." "That's probably true." "Perfect, that's excellent." "One more time, quickly." "And..." " Go!" " That's it!" "Go again!" "Yes!" "Good, that's it, that's it." "Like you're really constipated." "Harder, harder, come on!" "More, more, more, Nina, you have to do more." "Come on, chin to chest." "Come on, Nina, we're so close." "More, more, more, more, more, more." "Oh, yeah, that's good." "[Kirk] Deep breath." "Come on, Nina, you can do it, harder." "Harder, it's okay." "[all exclaiming]" "That's it Nina, more." "Come on." "Oh, my God!" "Breathe, Nina, breathe." "You're doing it." " You're doing great." "That's it." " There it is!" "He's coming!" "Oh, my God!" "He's coming out." "Oh, my God!" "Stop." "Okay, stop." "Give us a push." " Oh, my God!" " Push." "Oh, Nina!" "He has beautiful blue eyes." "Come on!" "Bright blue eyes." "Oh, my God." "He's looking..." "[all cheering]" "Okay, there he is." "10:31..." "Hold on, hold on." "I got him, I got him!" "He's here!" "Ready?" "Going to cut." "There you go." "I got him." "Let me see his face." "That's okay." "We're just going to warm him up." "He's here." "Way to go!" "That wasn't so bad." "Oh, my God." "I haven't even seen him." "Good." "Oh, Nina!" "He is so cute." "He's a gorgeous baby." "Is he?" "He's just the cutest baby, yes." "Oh, Nina, he is so cute!" "Really?" "Yeah." "He's a gorgeous little guy." "Who does he look like?" "Me, or Telebeam?" " Oh!" " Here he comes." "Oh, my God." "My arm." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "He's totally gorgeous." "Look at him." "Oh, my God." "Can I touch his face, or is that germs?" "Whatever you want, he's yours." "[Amy] Perfect little nose and mouth." "Is he asleep?" "Did he already take a nap?" "[Amy] Maybe, that was pretty stressful for him." "Oh, sweetie." "Oh, my God." "I can't believe this is happening to me." "I've never experienced anything so amazing." "This cannot..." "This is my baby" " 10:45?" " 10:31." "Nin, I'm so proud of you." "You're so sweet." "He's your's, too." "You did such an amazing job." "You really did." "Welcome to the world, Jasper Davenport." "Six pounds, two ounces, 19 and a quarter inches." "All right." "So, now you're gonna witness how, overnight, I became..." "A geriatric invalid." " Yeah." " That's a good look." "I got my hair done for labor because I wanted to impress my son." "This is not exactly the post labor euphoria I fantasized about." "And every three hours, I have to pump to keep the milk flowing, because the baby hasn't figured out how to latch." "It's okay, I can handle this for a minute." "Careful with your..." "Even with six breasts on the scene, we still can't seem to get the hang of it." "Very good." "Big mouth." "Do you think we can get him to eat all of this right now?" "He's hungry, he's still sucking it down." "Hi, sweetie." "Welcome home." "Welcome home, sweet pea." "Welcome home, sweetie." "Welcome home." "This is you new home." "This was your home." "And now this is your home." "On my first night home with Jasper, I feel blissful... and vulnerable." "I knew I wanted a baby, and yet, I had no idea," "I still have no idea, how to raise a child." "But then I remember the labor coach saying, the mother in me would be slow to emerge." "[Jasper crying]" "[Nina shushing]" "[Nina yawns]" "It's been one week since Jasper was born and I'm nearly catatonic." "Mommy's tired." "Thankfully, my surrogate husbands, Eric, John and Amy are all camping out in my one bedroom apartment to help." "[Amy] Do you want to check his diaper or just put him in?" "[Nina] Look, I got all this milk in one feeding," "I mean in only one pump." "Are you coming to the doctor or not?" "No, I think I'll take the opportunity to..." "Okay." "Do something else." "Tell me, did you ever imagine that you would be... holding him and helping, when you agreed to do this?" "The answer is, no." "[Nina] I believe you saw his cute mug and you fell in love... despite yourself." "There's no question." "You know, I have a license to handle a baby." "Which under any other circumstances, I would not be doing." "Aw..." "Jasper's now four months old." "We should be building up your vocabulary, Jasper." "Shouldn't we?" "Eric has taken charge of Jasper's intellectual development." "Yes, we should." "Do you want to put the things that are too big in, like, in the closet for now?" "And Amy is keeping the household organized." " Look." " Look at that." "Look at that little body, it's so cute and small." "Look at that." "This seems rather tight." "This one." "What?" "Don't." "You're making excuses 'cause you don't want to try to put it on." "It's, actually, a perfect fit." "What, I would wanna put on something that is easy to put on." "Yeah, you wanna put something on that is too big because it's easier to get the things on that are too big." "I see right through you on this one, I see right through you." "Jasper is observing Mommy and Daddy having a little dispute." "So, so nutty." "I mean..." "I'm not doing this." "I'm actually not doing this." "[Nina] Telebeam, I think you have a Harvard education." "You can figure out how to put that shirt on." "I'm sorry, I missed the class at Harvard, where you put tiny clothes on infants." "[Jasper crying]" "Eric is doing so much more than I ever expected." "Wah-wah, but you know, let it be known that your mother, wanted you to wear this shirt, okay?" "Come on, that's good 'cause it already says "onesies" on it." "And John decided to leave LA and move to New York." "He's taking care of Jasper almost as much as I am." "Jasper Perkins Davenport." "John has kids, so he's the only one around here who actually knows what he's doing." "Oh, sweetie, there you go." "And Eric's mother has gotten involved." "[Nina] So what do you think of this crazy setup we have here." "Well, I..." "I think it's probably becoming more and more common." "You know, so, I'm not gonna buck it." "Buck the trend, no." "I think it's nice, I think it's nice for Eric, too, to have... someone to come and see." "I certainly love having another grandson." "Did you think that you would ever have one from Eric?" "No." "I want to take advantage of my... the years I have left to be with him." "[Nina] Aw..." "Well, I'm very glad." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what's happening now?" "[Jasper cries] Oh!" "Are you hungry?" "What's the problem?" "This is my mom, ten months before she died." "Gosh are you tempting." "You have that camera." "How about just your feet?" "Can I do your feet?" "And legs." "[Nina] Do you wanna film me?" "Sure." "How do I do it?" "Just hold it." "Put your hand underneath it." "Lift it up to eye-level." "And then..." "And then move," "[Nina's mom] Oh, I see it." "So you can see the screen right here." "I wish she could see me now." "[Nina's mom] Is it filming?" "Yeah." "Okay, let's see." "Ahahaha!" "[Nina's mom laughing]" "I miss her so much." "I think I waited just a little too long to water those impatients." "I think I have done them in." "I'm still learning what a great mother she was, even as I learn to live without her." "The end has come." "Voila." "Dad, will you hold your grandson?" "Okay." "I can't hold him and read The New York Times at the same time." "That's true." "Got him?" "That's your grandfather, sweetums." "I am 80 years older than you are, think of that." "Oh, here hold my finger." "Hold my finger." "[Nina] Jasper, that's your grandfather." "Hold tight, that-a-boy." "Hold tight to that finger." "So, Dad, you're..." "That's a good boy." "Dad, you were really against the idea of my having a child, as you may recall." "No, I was not." "Well, it was captured on film in this very seat." "I said, what do you think and you said, "It's a terrible idea."" "How do you feel now?" "It's a very good idea." "And why have you changed your opinion?" "Because you have such a nice son." "And I can see you're very happy." "And we'll worry about the economics of the situation later." "Lots of children have grown up in poverty and done very well, Jasper." "You could do the same." "Go to night law school." "Kirk's friend will hire you." "And you'll rise to the rank of senior partner." "Dad, when we were little, how often did you hold us?" "Not often." "Was it never or almost...?" "Almost never." "And why do you think that is?" "Well, the question never came up." "There was never any discussion about it." "I just..." "Your mother took care of the baby." "Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy." "But, Dad, how come you didn't just want to hold us?" "Why didn't you just want to?" "It never occurred to me." "[Jasper laughing]" "He's killing me." "[Nina] It's unbelievable." "Sweetie, you just rolled over." "Jasper is seven months old now." "And I feel like I'm finally past the triage phase of parenting." "I can't get over how this tiny little boy can generate such colossal feelings." "I could stare at his perfect, beautiful face for hours." "And never feel even the slightest bit bored." "I'm in love." "John, I feel bad about the fact that." "I seem to have lost my sex drive, as a result of having a baby." "Now, if we were married and it was your baby, I feel like..." " it would be easier." " That would be this baby?" "Yeah, 'cause I'd feel like that's the price you pay for getting a baby." "Right." "But since you didn't get your own baby out of it," "I constantly feel..." " guilty." " Oh?" "And yet I don't know what to do about it." "I'm starting to wonder if there's light at the end of the tunnel, because I've... sort of, said all along, you know." "I said, well, you know," "I care enough about you, that I..." "I wanna see you through this." "And I think I'm pretty devoted to him." "Um..." "I love him, you know, I treat him, you know, like a son." " Frankly." "And..." " I know." "And I think he is very fond of me." "I mean, when I haven't seen him and then I see him, he gets all excited, which is very gratifying and, you know, flattering." "He's now about to gnaw on my leg." "It's going to get increasingly more difficult to..." " walk away from him..." " Yeah." "Should our relationship go south." " You know, and harmful to him." " Yeah." "Not just to me, I mean it would be..." "It's, like, when a couple has children and lives together... [plaster falls]" "And there goes a piece of plaster." "Oh, my God." "John and I eventually decided to break up." "I had finally found a great boyfriend, who wants commitment, and yet it still wasn't right." "I feel hopeless... and guilty for the potential collateral damage to Jasper." "[Nina] Aw..." "Sweetie." "It's okay, it's okay, don't worry, no big deal." "No big deal, no big deal." "[singing] It's no big deal." "I can't bear the thought of causing Jasper pain." "But it's inevitable that I'll make mistakes as a parent." "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" "♪ Happy birthday, dear Lydia ♪" "This is Lydia on her 12th birthday." "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" "[Kirk] You and I are gonna go to all these trendy stores, and get all kinds of fun clothes, like," "push-up shoes." "Push-up shoes." "You're making me go with him?" "It's gonna be awesome." "Push-up shoes?" "No, he's going to be great." "[Kirk] I'm gonna buy you little frilly bras and push-up bras." " And fancy dresses." " Kirk, you're freaking her out." "Just act normal." "There is one thing she really, really wanted for her birthday, which was, she wanted The O.C., the first season, the second season on DVD." "He said no, because we don't believe in television." "She thinks we're not giving it to her." "And this is the end and this is the last present, but we got it for her." "Did we trick you?" "Yes." "That was mean." "Oh, come on." " Come on, it was fun." " I was about to cry." " You were?" " Honestly." "I was, like..." "Upset, and I was like, "Okay, no, maybe next year."" "I'm sorry." "I thought it was, like, sort of suspenseful." "Suspenseful?" "You broke my heart and then showed me that I had a present." "I'm not so quite as happy as I would have been." "All right, I'm sorry." "I definitely, misgauged, then." "It was supposed to make you joyful." "It wasn't supposed to, like, play with your emotions and make you feel like crap." "I apologize." "It's okay." "Why is it only until you are humbled by being a parent yourself, that you begin to realize what your own parents did for you." "And how much they loved you." "Latham  Watkins, Kirk's firm, is the second largest law firm in the country." "It's a worldwide firm." "They have 2000 lawyers worldwide." "Jasper and I just arrived in Michigan." "Kirk was recently elected to the Executive Committee of the firm, which is sort of like the Board of Directors." "It runs the firm." "I haven't seen my dad in a while." "Quite a feather in Kirk's cap to be selected for that... important position." "Kirk, in addition to being very bright, he has a very pleasant manner." "His clients like him a lot and his partners like him a lot." "His specialty is corporate finance." "Incidentally, corporate finance is the main thing that I've done all my life." "[Jasper cries]" "That's what I did at Cravath, and one of the many things I did at Ford." "We haven't even gotten home from the airport and already I can feel myself starting to regress." "I'm not at all egotistical..." "[Jasper blabbering]" "Dad," " What?" "[Nina] I just want to point out that I haven't spoken to you in several months." "We just spent an entire ride together." "You talked about how wonderful your son Kirk is, and you didn't ask me a single question about my life or how I'm doing." "Well, you can tell me." "You've been working on the same film for a couple of years, haven't you?" "Dad?" "Yes?" "I wanted to talk to you." "What?" "I wanted to talk to you about something." "All right, go ahead." "Well," "I know you've noticed that I haven't been calling you very much recently." "Mm-hmm." "And I felt that I owed it to you to at least explain" " to you why that is." " Oh." "If you could..." "You lost my phone number." " Right?" " No." "I'm not exactly sure how to put it, but I just have felt really hurt and sad and disappointed that," "although, I find myself a single mother, that you, as my father..." "That I don't feel like you've registered, in any way," "what I'm dealing with." "I don't have a husband and Jasper doesn't have a father." "Kirk and Tim have everything." "They have wives." " They have multiple houses." " I know." "They don't need help." " Kirk once talked..." " I do need help." "About being a potter and throwing pots for life." "He could have done that and then he'd be... have even less money than you, but he didn't." "He decided to go to law school to earn a good living." "And he did." "You could have done the same thing." "I know my father isn't going to help me just because I'm a single mother." "Why am I still struggling to get him to see my point of view?" "I'm a parent now and I need to stop acting like someone's child." "I need to appreciate what an amazing childhood my dad provided." "And cherish all the support I did get." "You're doing something wonderful and fun and creative and artistic and marvelous." "And you wouldn't work at Merrill Lynch if your life depended on it." "Or work at law, like Kirk does, it's awful." "I mean, you would never do that." "So, in some ways, you have a nicer life than they do." "And I think in every way, frankly." "But, I mean, they have the traditional expected bourgeois life." "But it's not very interesting." "As far as you're concerned, it's not interesting like being an artist." "It's creative in it's own way." "Financially and legally." "But it's not creative, artistically." "And that's the difference." "And there is a big difference." "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" "♪ Happy birthday, dear Jasper ♪" "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ [clapping]" "Jasper started walking." "And I've decided to start dating again." "I feel like I have a family now, for which I'm so grateful." "But I do still want a committed romantic relationship." "The thought of trying to find one, however, is daunting." "It says, I want to meet a woman." "So change that." "You don't wanna un-check dating and friendship?" " I don't think so." " Okay, you're not looking for a friend." "So..." ""Describe who you are and what you like/dislike."" "I know, it's painful." "We all hate it, Nin." ""Five items I can't live without."" "You'd be shocked at how many people actually do say..." ""Food, water, shelter, oxygen."" "Am I slim, petite, or a little extra padding?" "[Amy] Just put slim/petite." "Well, which am I?" "Ultimately, you're slim-petite, you just need to lose five pounds." ""Twenty-five years from now, I see myself still making films,"" "still living in New York City" ""and proud of my son."" "[Amy] Aw, that's so sweet." "Somehow, I have to try to transform this haggard, tired, un-date-worthy face into... one that's ready to go on a date." "Do you have any advice for me?" "Huh?" "And we also have a logistical problem." "Namely, that's my bed... and this is Jasper's bed." "Bye, I gotta go." "Thanks for baby-sitting, Baby Daddy." "Bye..." "Give me that." "Let me see what's in your mouth." "Here, come here." "Come here." "Come here, what's in your mouth?" "[Jasper giggling]" "The date didn't go very well." "Nor have any other date, since." "Thanks, sweetie." "I'll just pick that right up." "Never you worry." "For now, at least," "I don't seem to care as much as I used to about finding a man." "I think having a child actually has taken the pressure off." "Ever since I became a mom, or really, ever since I decided to stop waiting and moved forward with my life," "I've just been much happier." "Can I go pee on my stick now?" " Yeah." " Okay." " Talk to my mom." " Okay." "My friend, Marcy, is trying to have a baby of her own." "Oh, my God." "She's 43 and she's decided that this will be her last attempt to get pregnant." "I'm nervous..." "If she's not, she plans to adopt." "For her." "So, you seem as calm as a cucumber." " Are you really?" " Yup." "You know, my cycle went really well and I know it's more likely than not that I won't be pregnant." "I mean, I really hope I am." "I don't want to put too much, like, emphasis on it almost, you know, but..." "I mean, not that it's not important, 'cause obviously... [alarm beeping]" "It's time." "Well, let's see what it says." "Hey, Mom." "Not pregnant." " Not pregnant." " Not pregnant?" "[both] No." "Oh, well, that's a bummer." "I thought I might be this time." "Nope." "Oh, well." "So, no?" "Nope." "[Nina] I'm curious, Joan, your perspective as someone who came of age, when it was just so easy to find a husband and you didn't even question having kids, it was just, find the husband, have the kids." " That was it?" " Yeah, right." "What do you think is going on here, the craziness of this?" "No one can get pregnant, no one can find a man." "It's hard to believe, really, but... as far as the child aspect of it, I mean, it's true." "Back in..." "Of course, we were all much younger mothers." "I had Marcy when I was 22." "I was married at 20." "Well, I mean, which..." "Do you feel like what you had was better, or what we have is better?" "Which would you chose?" "I would totally chose what you had." "Yeah." "In many respects, yes." "I think I would." "Even with the loneliness and the difficulty getting pregnant and everything that you can see Marcy going through that" "I have also been through?" "I think..." "I think you have a better..." "a better... feeling for yourself, a better self-assurance that you get, rather than going into motherhood at such an early age." "You're out in the world." "If I had it to do over again, I would probably enjoy that." "Being more of my own person, yeah." "Ame, what are you doing?" "I'm combing my hair." "Why?" "Because I'm getting ready for a date." "[Nina] Who's the lucky guy?" "I'm not naming any names." "He's a new person." "Ame, you told me that you wanted to tell me your new philosophy about men, what is it?" "Okay, well, I'm embarrassed to admit this, but... there has been a time in my life of feeling... unfortunately, like..." "I sort of needed, like, a male, romantic interest to really kind of give my life value, so to speak." "And..." "I just have been more able to reverse that equation, in terms of feeling, like..." "Okay, like, I have all this valuable stuff in my life." "Far from needing a man to, kind of, validate all that or make all that matter." "You know, on the contrary, like, I'm, I wanna be, sort of, choosy, as to whether or not I wanna let a man be part of that." "[Amy playfully roaring]" "[Nina] Ame, how did you do it?" "How did you change?" "I don't know I mean, honestly, I think it was, kind of, through a crisis moment of just, kinda like... figure out what really makes life worth living." "Not for baby." "I have to go, 'cause I'm late for my date." "Date." "Date." " Date." " Date." "[Nina] So, I think, we need to talk about what he should call you and I really don't know." "So, I just thought we should talk about it, but he's starting to say things." "Something that sounds a lot like, "Daddy."" "To be honest, it makes me feel..." "I feel odd." "If people were to call me "Daddy", I would feel strange about it." "Because, I don't..." "To me, that..." "Um..." "That means someone who, you know, raises the child." "I don't raise Jasper." "That's garbage, Jasper." "You don't wanna eat that." "I also find myself... you know, that I'm getting drawn into these issues of you know, how, like, parenting questions and, you know... that I did not, um... sort of, that I didn't want to... have to deal with." "Like, this whole notion of, you know, he doesn't... seem to have a bedtime." "[Jasper] Baby..." "[Nina] Are you criticizing me?" "I mean, I don't know if that's still the case, but..." "So, the issue is..." "These are things which I... really did not wanna get involved in thinking about." "But it's unavoidable." "[Nina] Okay, and..." "Because if I have some kind of attachment and also... people do look to me, like..." ""Oh, you're the..." "You're the male side of the equation."" "[Nina's dad] This is Elliot Saunders, my bridge partner." "I'm in Michigan, again, for a dinner party my dad is hosting at our house." "Bob Swanson here." "It's the first time he's having people over since my mom died." "Ann Aiken is here." "Here's an old one." "Your mother..." "In your mother's handwriting, from an old party we had five years ago." "Here's another one, in your mother's handwriting." "I'm also here to finally go through my mom's things." "My mom saved everything." "[Nina] Thankfully, my aunt is here to help decide what to do with it all." "God, I remember these things." "It's sort of all that is left of somebody." "And it's so dreadful." "Looking and, you know..." "I just hate to remember them from things like this, you know." "I have some of her ashes, actually, that I'm gonna to put with mine, when the time comes." "But I needed to do this." " Dad?" " Huh?" "I came across this folder and I wanted to show it you and talk to you about it." "Okay." "Oh..." "[Mr Davenport] Yup, I remember that very well." "Fireman carried us out the window." "My father was an alcoholic." "And... he may have... fallen asleep on the couch." "We were all..." "His wife and children were upstairs in bed." "He was found on the couch, and he might have... just, sort of, passed out with a cigarette in his hand." "Cigarette caught the couch on fire." "My father, kept moving a lot, he..." "He'd have an alcoholic rampage in some town." "And dermatologists get most of their work, or lot of their work from referrals from other doctors." "And when he got a bad reputation," "the referrals stopped and that's one reason we moved about six times when I was a child." "I went to..." "We lived in, let's see..." "Rochester, New York," "Jackson Heights, New York," "Hot Springs, Arkansas..." "Memphis, Tennessee, briefly." "We moved out of Memphis before we even finished... settling all the furniture." "And..." "Watertown, New York, where it all ended." "[Nina] So, how did you feel when this all happened, emotionally?" "Well..." "Children are amazingly resilient." "I..." "I was okay, it was just... one more little adventure in life." "And I was never that close to my father, anyway." "He was away a lot, he went to..." "Spent several years in rehabilitation centers, and so forth." "And... when he was home, it was not always pleasant." "When my mother told me he had died," "I felt, "I should cry now, but I don't really feel like it."" " Yeah." " So, I didn't." "[Nina] My grandfather shot this footage." "He made a lot of home movies and some of them are beautiful." "There's my grandmother." "I feel for her." "And seeing these images of my father as a boy," "I feel the impulse to reach in and protect him." "[Mr. Davenport] Hello, everybody." "Good evening." "Some people asked me why am I even doing this?" "And the reason is that... no one has been in this house for about four years." "Trudy died three and a half years ago." "I just decided that... it would be nice to have a big party for all my friends who haven't been here in so long." " Thank you all for coming." " How wonderful." "[applause]" "Dig in." "Bye bye." "[Nina] This is my mom on honeymoon with my dad." "It's touching and reassuring, somehow, to look back at them, beginning a life together." "Here's my mom, a young mother, with Kirk." "And here's when my parents brought me home from the hospital." "My first steps." "A summer afternoon." "I've seen these images of my childhood before." "My dad filmed them." "But now, I see them anew." "[Nina] Ah!" "Don't bite." "Sweetie, no biting." "No biting." "Basically, if you didn't love them, you would despise your children if you didn't love them so much, because they... torture you." "Torture!" "Torture!" "[Jasper laughs]" "I love you so much." "I take it all back." "I take it all back." "I love you." "But you're so hard to deal with, sweetie." "Can't you make it a little easier?" "[Jasper and Nina growling]" "Can't you make it a little easier?" "What is this new monster that you've cultivated?" "All right, you seem really close to being ready for bedtime." "[speaking gibberish]" "What are you saying?" "[Nina] What's today, Jasper?" "What's today?" "It's Jasper's birthday." "What's that?" "What's happening?" "It's getting so dark in here." "Jasper, it's your birthday." "You're two years old, today!" "You were born at 10:31 pm." "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" "♪ Happy birthday, dear Jasper ♪" "♪ Happy birthday to you ♪" " Yeah!" " Momma!"