"âª Stomach's turned upsie down âª âª There's something going on in my head âª âª She's turned me inside out âª âª I can't believe what I just said âª" "âª But that's how I feel about the girl âª" "Oh, my God!" "Did you write that about me?" "Um, yes!" "Aren't you "girl"?" "Yes." "Oh, my God!" "I've never had anybody write a song about me before." "Except for the "Holly go poop" song, but that was just to toilet train me." "Okay, let's put our tongues away." "Sorry it took me so long to change." "Oh, it's no problem, I just leafed through your magazines and then took a peek in your medicine cabinet." "That's a back massager." "I have a pinched nerve." "I think he was joking." "So was I." "Yeah, I don't even have a pinched nerve." "Or one of those things." "Well, as uncomfortable as this is making me," "I did make you a spot of proper English tea." "Oh, my God, isn't he the best?" "He's only been in America for five hours and he's already managed to make tea and to write a love song for me." "Sing it, Ben." "âª That's how I feel about the girl âª" "That's me!" "I'm "girl"!" "You like it?" "Mm-hmm!" "You know, Ben, I feel like maybe we got off on the wrong foot at the airport." "If my sister likes you, then I, at least, wanna give you a chance." "And this is delicious." "Thank you." "Aww." "Well, that's great!" "Because you can make tea for her every single day." "Yeah, like Ben doesn't have anything better to do than come all the way over here and make me tea." "That's okay, he's gonna be living really close." "Oh, yeah?" "Where?" "The couch!" "âª You really know how to dance âª âª When you go up, down, jump around âª âª Talk about true romance âª âª Yeah âª" "âª Keep on whispering in my ear âª âª Tell me all the things that I wanna hear âª âª 'Cause it's true âª âª What I like âª" "âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like âª âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like about you âª" "âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like about you âª âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like about you âª" "âª That's what I like about you âª âª What I like about you âª âª That's what I like about âª âª Hey âª" "âª Uh-huh âª âª Uh-huh âª âª That's what I like about you âª" "Why can't Ben stay here?" "This place is gargantuan." "Holly, you barely know this guy." "He hops on a plane and follows you here after what, three weeks?" "Hell, I got yogurt in the fridge that's been there for a month." "Maybe I should marry it." "Hey, we may not have known each other that long, but we know the important stuff." "Oh, really?" "What's his middle name?" "What's the yogurt's middle name?" " Holly?" " What?" "Oh, so you can hear me from over there." "Then you are aware that I can hear everything that the two of you are saying?" "Oh, Ben, I'm very sorry we were being so rude." "All right, I figured I gave you and your groom enough alone time." "So, let's talk wedding!" "And yes, I will be your bridesmaid." "But when we are picking out dresses, can we get scoop neck so I can show off my maids of honor?" "Hey, where's groom?" "Uh, bride broke up with groom." "What?" "I was three feet away." "Oh, my God." "Are you okay?" "Oh, well, thankfully, my sister has given me a great distraction from Rick." "She's invited Ben to come live with us in the loft." "Well, look who went to Paris and got all trampy!" "You can wipe the pride off your face because Ben is not moving in." "Will you please talk to her?" "Sweetie, they did spend the summer together." "Personally, I have to agree with the two -- the lady who pays my dental." "I just don't understand why you get to decide." "Okay, let me explain it to you." "It's my loft." "Ha ha." "Your loft?" "Okay, all of a sudden it's your loft?" "Uh, yeah, Holly, the whole time you've lived here, you bought one carton of milk." "And did I hear a thank you?" "No." "Because that's what we do." "You pay rent, I buy a milk." "It's our loft." "Okay, fine." "He's not staying in our loft." "Okay, you know what?" "I just spent an entire summer without you telling me what to do, and I was fine!" "In fact, I blossomed." "So, if Ben is not welcome here, perhaps I should bloom elsewhere." "Good!" "Call a moving van." "I'll pack your milk." "Okay, you know what?" "That's it." "We're out of here." "Good, fine, go." "I'll talk to you in about an hour when you find out how much milk has gone up since you bought it." "I don't think so, lady." "I did a lot of growing up in Europe." "This little bird's about to fly." "Val, I am so sorry." "I told Holly I have no problem staying somewhere else." "The last thing I want to do is " "You know, my whole "this bird's gonna fly away" thing would have been much stronger if you flew with me." "[ tune of "Jingle Bells" ] âª C, c, c âª âª C, c, c âª âª C, c, c, c... âª" "âª C âª" "What the hell are you doing?" "I'm learning the "Jingle Bells" song on the guitar." "So, this sudden interest in strumming your strings has nothing to do with Holly dating a guitar player?" "[ scoffs ]" "Well, that cleared it up." "Vince, are you really okay with Holly dating Ben?" "I mean, you said you were completely over her." "Guys, I told you." "I thought there was something, but I'm not a commitment guy." "Holly meeting Ben is all for the best." "This -- this is all for the Christmas concert for the... blind orphans." "Too bad they're not deaf." "That's enough practicing for one day." "It's getting late, and I'm going to bed." "Good night." "Yeah, yeah, me too." "Good night." "Good night." "What?" "Did you not get the hint?" "We want you...to leave." "Did you not get the hint?" "I've got nothing else..." "to do." "Good night, Tina." "What are you guys doing here with all your luggage?" "Vince, I'm sorry, I know it's late, but I had a huge fight with Val, and she doesn't want Ben staying at the loft." "So I took a stand and moved out." "Mm, this ain't good." "And you moved here?" "A little bit." "Just for tonight?" "By the way, I'm Ben." "Hey." "Come in, come in." "Come in, come in." "Ben." "Ben, Ben?" "Ben, yeah!" "The musician." "That's right." "We should jam sometime." "Do you know "Jingle Bells"?" "So, New York City... it's all booked?" "Yeah, listen, I wish we could afford to pay you, but I can write you a song that rhymes with your name." "Ooh!" "Do me." "Do me." "It's Gary." "Hey, Vince, if you're not cool with this," "I totally understand." "Of course you can stay for as long as you need." "Unfortunately...rrr!" "It's not up to me." "I've got a roommate now." "So I gotta check in with him first." "âª Gary âª âª I just met Gary âª âª His name's not Larry âª âª Or Harry or Barry âª" "[ Both ]: âª 'Cause his name is Gary âª" "Now, that was tight." "But check this out." "My middle name is Johann, and I don't think " "Why did I tell Holly she and her boyfriend could live here?" "'Cause you're stupid?" "I can't watch him brush her teeth with his tongue every morning." "It'll kill me!" "It's a little late to back out now, don't you think?" "No." "You need to tell Holly that you don't want them to stay." "That -- that you're starting NYU in a couple days, and you need quiet to study." "No, no way, no way." "I am not getting in the middle of this." "But if you kick Ben out now, it won't be too hard for Holly to figure out it's because you still like her." "Now, my advice, act like this dude's your best friend." "That could work." "I once punched my best friend in the face." "Well, I got good news." "I talked Johann into it, and you can stay as long as you like." "Yay!" "Oh, thank you so much." "You're the best friend ever." "I love you!" "âª Vince -- he is a prince âª âª This is the first song I've written since âª âª The Gary song âª" "Hey!" "Oh, my God, you are so...rrr!" "Well, I guess we should figure out the sleeping arrangements." "You two should take Gary's room." "Um, what?" "You sure that's not an inconvenience?" "Not unless your name is Gary." "You know what?" "It's actually fine." "We'll just stay out here." "Yeah, that works." "One of you can take the couch." "One of you can take the floor." "Why do that?" "The couch pulls out into a double bed." "Although it's kinda lumpy and it smells like butt." "You know, I gotta get going." "I'll call you tomorrow." "Okay, you know what, I'm gonna walk Tina out because it's late, and the elevator's all the way at the other end of the hall." "I'll be right back." "All right, what's going on?" "I just need to talk to you about the, um... sleeping arrangements?" "Ha ha!" "You've been together a month and you haven't done it yet?" "Yes!" "I have a brownie in the fridge, and I just found out nobody's touched her." "Shh." "How did you get Ben to wait a month to do it?" "I mean, I know you got a great personality, but it's not that great." "It's only been three weeks." "I'm not ready yet." "Not ready?" "You're 18 years old." "Now is the perfect time." "You can finally do it without worrying if the guy's gonna get arrested." "What about waiting until you're in love?" "I mean, Ben is amazing." "But until two hours ago," "I didn't know his middle name." "Look, this is all just moving really fast." "I thought this was gonna be a fun European fling." "Fling?" "You haven't even flung." "Okay, why am I even talking to you?" "Because I have experience." "I've been around." "Yeah, and around and around and around." "All I'm saying is you like him, he lives for you...what?" "I know, but it just doesn't feel right." "Look, I'm sorry, but it's weird." "No, it's not weird." "You're weird." "I'm gonna call Val." "She'll tell me if it's weird." "By the way, she thinks you're weird." "You know what, I can't call Val." "I don't need to talk to Val." "I'm an adult." "You know what, you're right!" "And you know what adults do?" "They do it!" "Now get in there and give it up." "You know, so what if Holly doesn't wanna live here anymore." "Fine with me." "I don't need her getting all up in my grill." "Okay, how drunk are you?" "Like, on a scale of one to Courtney Love?" "I just said "getting up in my grill."" "What do you think?" "Okay, good, then you probably won't remember that I said this in the morning." "Do you think maybe you overreacted just a little bit to the whole Ben thing?" "No!" "Wow, you're a mean drunk." "Okay." "What?" "Maybe you should ask yourself why you really didn't want" "Ben staying here." "I mean, he could've stayed on the couch." "And he came here all the way from England to be with Holly." "Exactly." "And what if next month he decides to dump Holly to go back to England -- Britain -- the U.K.?" "Why can't they pick a name?" "I gotta clean." "I just don't want Holly falling for him and getting hurt." "Well, how do you know she'll get hurt?" "Because someone always does." "I mean, look what just happened with me and Rick." "Yeah, Rick got hurt." "Rick?" "What about me?" "You're the one who broke off the engagement." "But I am still hurting." "Of course you are, because you still love him." "Oh, I need my Swiffer." "Okay, you know, I think I'm gonna tell you what I think, and I pray I've had enough champagne that it won't hurt when you hit me." "I don't wanna hear it." "All right, what?" "I think you really love Rick, but you broke up with him 'cause you're a scaredy-cat, and you were afraid he was gonna break up with you because your last two boyfriends did." "Now you're scared Ben's gonna do the same thing to Holly." "And you're all messed up, and now you're turning Holly into a scaredy-cat, too." "Just watch the nose." "I can't get it done again." "Holly?" "Are you sure you're okay?" "Yeah, of course I'm okay." "Totally cool." "Do you realize this is the first time we've spent the night together?" "Oh, yeah!" "Are you okay with it?" "Oh, yeah, I'm fine." "Are you okay?" "Yes." "[ thinking ] No!" "I'm a mess!" "I'm not weird." "I'm not weird." "I am so weird." "Well, at least I don't look as uncomfortable as I feel." "You know, we're never gonna do anything that you're not ready for." "Of course, I'm totally cool." "Hit the hay, dude." "If you don't mind, I usually sleep in my boxers." "Whatever you're cool with." "All right, boxers it is." "If it helps, they've got little duckies on them." "[ thinking ] Aww, I love duckies." "This is good." "Maybe I can do this." "Okay." "Okay, this is nice." "He's on his side." "I'm on my side." "Aww." "That's sweet." "He wants to spoon." "Why'd I get myself so worked up?" "Uh-oh!" "Duckies are moving!" "Duckies are moving!" "I'm just gonna get a drink of water." "What are you doing here?" "I, um, needed a drink of water." "Oh." "They don't have water wherever it is you're staying?" "I'm staying at Vince's, and, um, all he had was beer." "So, how's it been living on your own?" "It's had its ups and downs." "How have things been with you?" "How's the old job?" "You moved out three hours ago." "Kinda late to be coming all this way for water." "Kinda late to be doing laundry." "Although, I guess you have to do it sometime." "Otherwise you're weird if you don't." "What?" "Ben and I... haven't exactly done... laundry yet." "Well, you just got back from Europe." "No one expects you to have done your laundry yet." "But we've been together for three weeks." "We're supposed to have done our laundry." "Everybody's done it." "Vince's done it." "Gary's done it." "Tina's like a friggin' laundromat." "H-Holly, what are you " "Follow the bread crumbs, Hansel." "I haven't had sex with Ben yet!" "What?" "Am I weird?" "Is there something wrong with me?" "No, no, no, no, no." "There's nothing wrong with you." "[ whispers ] Thank you!" "Mm-hmm, okay, here's what you need to do, you " "You know what?" "You will figure it out." "That's your big advice?" "Okay, what happened to my overprotective, in-my-face sister who wouldn't let me play Ms. Pac-Man because she thought that she made "bad choices"?" "I need her!" "No, I'm not so sure you do." "I mean, you said yourself, you're 18 years old." "Exactly." "I am only 18 years old." "So, what do I do?" "Well, what do you think you should do?" "I think that you should tell me what to do." "No, I'm serious." "How will you really know when you're ready to be with someone?" "When I don't need to come to you and ask you if I'm ready?" " Yes!" " Yay!" "I'm so much better at this than Tina." "Tina." "So, can I ask you something?" "Can I come home?" "Vince's couch smells like butt." "Of course you can come home." "Just promise me one thing... that no matter what decision you make about Ben, don't do it or not do it because you're afraid that somewhere down the line it won't work out." "Oh, no." "That's all your crap, not mine." "Wait a second." "You know about my crap?" "Val, when I was 3, you made Barbie break up with Ken because you were afraid that Ken would leave her." "Yeah, well, the -- the dog chewed her head off." "I was just trying to beat Ken to the punch." "Can I ask you one more thing?" "Did you break off the engagement to beat Rick to the punch?" "[ mumbling ] I don't know." "Do you love him?" "Do you wanna be with him?" "Even if the dog chews his head off?" "I can't believe I let you talk me into this." "I can't just bang on Rick's door at 2:00 in the morning." "I can." "Please don't be having rebound sex." "Please don't be having rebound sex." "Well, we tried." "Let's go." "Val?" "Rick!" "Hi." "Look, I know I said that I didn't wanna marry you, but I only said that because I was scared." "But I'd rather be scared and have you in my life even if it means that someday you might dump me than being scared and not have you in my life at all." "And I'm not saying any of this because I want you to ask me to marry you again." "I just really wanted you to know where I stand, okay?" "Thank you for listening to me humiliate myself." "And you look really sexy when you just get up." "[ Rick ]:" "Will you marry me?" "He can't hear a nod!" "Yes!" "Yes?" "She said yes!" "Yay!" "Yay!" "Yeah!" "Alone time." "Hey, go do some laundry." "Man, how'd she get through the summer without me?"