"Morning." "Morning, Doctor." "(DOOR OPENS)" "Good morning, Frances." "He wants to see you." "Now." "Oh." "He's upset, right?" "Right." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Come in." "Hi, Dad." "Don't "Hi, Dad" me, young man." "Sir, I know I'm a little late." "I'm sorry." "It couldn't have been helped." "I ran into Bo Youngstreet." "I think I told you about him." "He owns a couple dozen oil wells outside Tulsa." "Sit down." "I wouldn't have given him any time, but he's putting together a new development deal." "Brand-new syndicate." "I think it's got very good possibilities." "Wesley, let me ask you something." "What do you do for a living?" "Sir?" "Oh, I know what it says on our office door." "Wesley Corman, DDS." "But I see you so seldom around this office," "I don't know, I thought perhaps you'd taken up some other profession." "(CHUCKLES) I know." "I'm sorry." "Which may not be a bad idea, because as a dentist, you're a total incompetent." "For five years now, you've been my son-in-law as well as a junior associate in my practice." "And in both of those areas you've been a crashing failure." "The only reason I put up with you is because my daughter, misguided though she was, loved you." "Well, now, happily, that condition's just about ended." "What are you talking about?" "Don't look so surprised." "I put Liddy in touch with an excellent divorce attorney." "In just a matter of weeks now, your relationship will be terminated." "Now, hold on a second." "We have our problems like every other married couple, but if divorce was ever mentioned, I know she wasn't serious." "Serious?" "She's damn serious, and so am I." "Wesley, you are a compulsive gambler, but I have paid your last gambling debt." "Bailed you out of your last tight spot." "Let me show you something." "I have here $220,000 of your IOUs to me." "Now, hold on." "All I've done is try to develop outside interests, so Liddy and I aren't so dependent upon you." "Dependent on me?" "(LAUGHING) One race horse, $20,000." "Died of heart failure second time out of the gate, and he was uninsured." "That big land development deal down in Ensenada, $100,000 down the drain." "And I have a whole list of gambling debts that I paid for you, from Las Vegas to Atlantic City." "Well, I intend to collect." "Sir," "I think you realize that..." "That I won't be able to make it if you hold me to those notes." "Wesley, you're amazing." "You knew this was coming about for some time now." "And yet, you couldn't face it, could you?" "Well, no more, my friend." "No more." "Wait a minute." "Aren't you forgetting?" "Six years ago, I saved your daughter's life." "This time, that's not going to work." "I'm going to give you till the end of this month to take your practice, such as it is, and get out of here." "Do you understand me?" "(DIALING)" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Hello?" "Hi, Adam." "Wesley." "How you doing?" "Good, good." "How are you?" "Well, I'm in good shape." "Great." "Listen, I need a favor." "How much do you need?" "No, I don't need to borrow any more money." "Yeah, sure." "As a matter of fact," "I expect to pay you back next week." "That'd be nice, Wesley." "Yeah." "The reason I'm calling is to ask you to change your 2:00 to 12:30." "Can you do that?" "Yeah." "It's no problem." "Terrific." "You got it, buddy." "Great." "Yeah, 12:30 sharp." "I'll be there." "Uh-huh." "I'll see you then." "Adam, thanks." "You saved my life." "No big deal." "(WATER SPLASHING)" "(PHONE BUZZING)" "Yes, Doctor?" "Frances, did I mention that Adam Evans called me at home last night to cancel his 2:00?" "No, you didn't." "Oh, I'm sorry." "He did." "As consolation, you and the other girls can take an early lunch." "Well, thank you, sir." "Have a good time." "You, too." "Hi." "Hello." "Look, I'm only going to be a few minutes, so park it up front for me, would you, please?" "Sure." "Thank you, sir." "Thanks a lot." "I agree." "Adam Evans!" "Adam Evans!" "Oh, my gosh!" "Oh, my God!" "Ladies?" "Sure, I'd be glad to." "(WOMEN CHATTERING)" "This is so exciting!" "You're so handsome in person!" "Thank you." "Here you go." "Good day, ladies." "(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)" "(EAS Y-LISTENING MUSIC PLAYING)" "(DINGING)" "ADAM:" "Hey, Wes." "Hey, buddy." "Right on time." "Come on in." "You can hang your jacket on the back of the door." "I really appreciate your coming in early like this." "Hey, no problem, Wes." "Where are my girls?" "They're all out sick." "Can you believe that?" "Is that a fact?" "Yeah." "We had to cancel all our appointments." "I would have canceled yours if you weren't going to Cannes tomorrow." "I'm glad you didn't." "So, you starting a new film or going on vacation or what?" "No, I'm going to a film festival." "Is that right?" "Sounds like a good time." "Yeah, we're going to have a good time." "Well, I'll try not to make you late for the plane." "How's that?" "(LAUGHS) That's good." "All right, señor." "Lower left bicuspid." "You got a lot of decay around the filling here." "But what I think needs immediate attention is the crown on the right side." "Okay." "You're the doc." "All right, let's put some light on you." "And we'll numb you up here." "Chew down, that's it." "All right, you don't mind needles, do you?" "Oh, no." "Of course not." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Easy goes." "Heard any good jokes lately?" "(LAUGHING)" "Easy, easy." "Almost there." "Great." "(GRUNTS)" "That's not too bad." "No." "Wake me when you're done." "Let's have a look." "Feel that?" "Uh-uh." "Good." "Yeah, she's loose." "Pull her right out of there." "There you go." "(SIGHS)" "That didn't hurt, did it?" "Uh-uh." "All right, don't you go anywhere." "I'll be right back." "(DRILL WHIRRING)" "All righty." "Get it?" "Yep." "Now we slap a little concrete on here." "And pop her in." "Okay." "Bite down on that." "And..." "That's better than the original." "Good." "WESLEY:" "Now, stay away from hot liquids till the Novocaine wears off." "You don't want to burn yourself." "Got you." "And listen, when you get back from Cannes, let's have dinner, all right?" "Lydia would love to hear all about the trip." "You met Lydia, didn't you?" "A couple of months ago at the Bergman party?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I think I did." "Yeah." "Gosh, she's a big fan of yours." "She's like a school girl." "She's got cassettes of all the pictures and... (LAUGHING)" "A big fan." "Well, it's nice to know I have at least one." "Yeah, right." "Thanks again, Wes." "Sure." "Take care." "You bet." "Hi." "Do you like what you see?" "I do." "I didn't hear your car." "At those prices, you're not supposed to." "Did you hear from your father?" "He called." "So you heard the good news." "Wesley, don't." "Well, Lydia, sometimes you get the goldmine, sometimes you don't." "We agreed it would be the best thing." "No." "I never did." "I couldn't, Lydia." "You know how much I've always loved you." "No, I don't know that." "Maybe if you had shown..." "I tried, Lydia." "I really did, in my own way." "If it wasn't enough, then so be it." "You know, after what happened to your first husband, when you needed help," "I suppose I knew I was just a crutch to lean on." "But now that you're cured," "I guess the reality is I was a guy who happened to be there." "I just wasn't the right guy." "Wesley," "I've been lonely for a very long time, and I suppose you'll find out sooner or later, so..." "What?" "Another guy?" "Yes." "He is..." "Lydia, I don't want to know his name." "I think you're grown up enough to..." "No." "No, after the divorce is final, after I'm gone, fine." "But don't cut me into little pieces now." "All right." "Lydia," "I know you've had a rough time these past couple of years." "I don't want to make it any more difficult for you." "I just want you to know that if anything happens, if you change your mind, if this guy, whoever he is, isn't what you want him to be, then I'll be there for you." "I always will." "Thank you." "Lydia," "I just want you to know I love you." "(SIGHS)" "The game's at John Valentine's tonight." "I'll be there if you need me." "Don't forget to take your medicine." "I won't." "(PHONE RINGING)" "ADAM:" "Hello?" "Hi." "Are you alone?" "He just left." "Will he be back soon?" "No, no, he won't be back until late." "Which will give me plenty of time to convince you to take me with you." "Yeah." "We'll talk." "LYDIA:" "I'll be waiting." "Well, friends, I got nothing but a little old flush." "(ALL EXCLAIMING) I think a full house beats a flush." "(ALL EXCLAIMING)" "WESLEY:" "Can you believe it?" "VALENTINE:" "Well, it's my house." "VALENTINE:" "That's amazing." "It's only 9:00, I'm already getting killed." "The evening is young, darling." "Hang in there." "Deal the cards, bunky." "VALENTINE:" "All right, ante up." "(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)" "He said he didn't want to know anything about us." "You sure he doesn't know about us already?" "You don't know Wesley." "If Wesley can't bet on it, he's not interested." "That's too bad." "I'd prefer it if everything was out in the open." "I would, too." "It will be soon, thank God." "(CHUCKLING)" "Thank God." "Yeah." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Is it up to par?" "(EXCLAIMS)" "(CHUCKLES)" "Delicious." "You make the best damn margarita I ever had." "VALENTINE:" "Be kind to me, girl, be kind to me." "NANCY:" "I do my best." "RON:" "Down and dirty." "Interesting." "RON:" "Down and dirty." "Okay, aces bet." "I'm in for 50." "Sorry, pilgrim." "I gotta see that, and raise 100." "DAVID:" "Fold." "And the host is in." "I'm in." "Call." "I'll call, and raise it 50." "On what?" "You got zip." "Who asked you?" "Well, excuse me for living." "I call." "MAN:" "Uh-oh." "Take me to Cannes with you." "Mmm." "Cause talk, nasty talk, you still being married." "Besides, it's only for five days." "Five very, very, long, long days." "When I get back, you and Wesley will have done what you have to do, and you and I will have the rest of our lives." "I'm in for 100." "I call." "I can't believe it." "Anybody who'd play a hand like this has gotta be a total masochist." "Jesus, I can't believe it." "Call." "Jesus." "I don't think so." "Yeah, call." "I think I'll raise you 300." "(ALL EXCLAIMING)" "VALENTINE:" "Come on, come on." "How do you like them apples?" "(ALL EXCLAIMING)" "(ADAM GASPS)" "LYDIA:" "Adam?" "Adam?" "Adam!" "Adam!" "Adam." "Adam, don't die!" "Adam, don't die!" "You can't die!" "You can't!" "Too rich for me." "I fold." "My fellow Americans," "I thought this was supposed to be a kinder, gentler game." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Call." "Adam, don't die!" "Adam!" "Too expensive." "Well, it's just you and me, Nancy." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "Adam!" "(SPEED-DIALING)" "Oh, I forgot." "You were in, too, weren't you, Wesley?" "You are still in, aren't you because I have no recollection." "(ALL LAUGHING) I just can't... (PHONE RINGING)" "Excuse me." "Yeah, yeah, I'm in." "Yeah?" "Help!" "Help, it's an emergency!" "It's a heart attack!" "The address..." "The address is 322..." "Stop yelling." "I can't understand what you're saying." "Help him!" "Quick!" "Please hurry!" "It's a heart attack!" "Please, help me!" "Help..." "Okay, okay, who is this?" "Lydia Corman!" "Lydia, just a minute." "Here's Wesley." "And come quick!" "Help!" "Lydia, what's happened?" "Hurry!" "Please hurry!" "Adam!" "Adam!" "(WAILING)" "Lydia?" "David, let's go." "Sorry, guys." "The pool house!" "DAVID:" "Oh, my God." "WESLEY:" "Lydia." "Lydia." "(LYDIA CRYING)" "Oh, my God." "What happened, honey?" "(WHISPERING) It's all right." "It's all right." "He's dead." "Sis, did you call 911?" "Did you call the police?" "(SOBBING) He's dead." "He's dead just like Tony." "What are you doing?" "Calling 911." "Don't be a fool." "Wesley, the man is dead." "Forget about him." "I'm thinking of your sister, David." "Remember seven years ago?" "You can't put her through that again." "What choice do we have?" "He died just like Tony." "(GASPING)" "We gotta move the body." "Get her upstairs." "I'll get him dressed." "(LYDIA CRYING)" "(CAR ENGINE STARTS)" "All clear?" "Okay." "(CAR CRASHING)" "(WOMAN ON RADIO CHATTERING)" "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "(TOW TRUCK BEEPING)" "(WOMAN ON RADIO CHATTERING)" "(HONKING)" "(HONKING CONTINUOUSLY)" "What are you doing to that thing on your roof?" "I'm trying to figure out how to work it." "Those things are for cops, you know." "Yeah." "Well, I'm a cop." "Oh, you're a cop." "I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger." "Hi." "Says he's a cop." "Yeah, he's a cop." "Yeah, I've been on the force 22 years." "Been on the force for 22 years." "Twenty-two years, huh?" "Yeah, believe it or not, I never had a chance to work this thing before." "What the hell is he doing now?" "What's the problem?" "Oh, no problem, Officer." "I'm with the force." "Lieutenant Columbo." "I'm sorry, Lieutenant." "Yeah, that bubble, where do you connect those things?" "You plug that in your cigarette lighter, Lieutenant." "Oh, the cigarette lighter." "The cigarette lighter doesn't work." "Come on, I'll give you an escort." "Oh, thanks." "Now, believe it or not, 22 years on the force," "I never had to use one of those things before." "Oh." "OFFICER 1:" "Move it over." "OFFICER 2:" "Secure that rope down there." "One parking stub." "Oh, right." "Thanks." "Check where it's from, the day it was issued and the time." "You got it, Lieutenant." "You want some coffee, Lieutenant?" "COLUMBO:" "No, I just had some." "You got a match?" "No, I don't smoke." "So, what's the story here?" "Well, the ambulance boys think it was a coronary." "Coronary?" "Yeah." "Hey, you know who this guy is?" "No." "Who is he?" "Can we have it a minute, guys, please?" "Thank you." "Take a look at this." "(GRUNTS)" "Adam Evans." "McCULLEY:" "Yeah." "You've seen him in the movies, right?" "Oh, yeah." "You know, just Saturday night, my wife ran..." "We ran a picture of his." "Did you?" "Yeah, it was good, too." "He was in this helicopter, shooting." "What a shame." "Oh, yeah, yeah." "McCULLEY:" "Scary, isn't it?" "One minute, you're on top of the heap." "Girls love you, lots of bucks." "Next minute, snuffed out." "Canceled by the grim reaper." "Very well put, Sergeant." "Listen, have the medical examiner find out what this little white speck is here on his lip." "Oh, yeah." "Got you." "Okay, guys, you can have him." "OFFICER:" "Okay, let's go." "Clear the way." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Excuse me, you got a match?" "Oh, sure, Lieutenant." "Compliments of Adam Evans." "Here." "Found them in his shirt pocket." "Listen, when you fellas moved the body, did you touch anything?" "I mean, like the gearshift?" "No, we didn't touch a thing." "No?" "No." "Thank you very much." "Sure." "(DOORBELL RINGING)" "Can I help you?" "Good morning, sir." "I'm sorry to disturb you so early." "Lieutenant Columbo." "Police." "Yeah?" "Sir, it's freezing out here." "Could I come in?" "This coat doesn't have a lining." "Oh." "Yeah, sure, come on in." "Thank you very much." "I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings, but it seems as though there's been an accident." "A friend of yours, I think." "Adam Evans, the actor?" "Yeah." "Well, they found him this morning up on Mulholland, dead." "Oh, no." "Oh, my God!" "A car accident?" "They think it was a heart attack, sir." "Heart attack?" "I can't believe that." "If you have a moment, sir, could I ask you a few questions?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Come on in." "Would you like a cup of coffee, Lieutenant?" "Oh, I sure could use one, sir." "How about a bagel?" "Oh, I don't want to put you out." "No trouble." "No trouble at all." "How do you take it?" "A touch of cream." "Cream's in the fridge." "Help yourself." "Mr. Evans, was he a good friend of yours?" "Well, he was a friend." "He was a patient." "Oh, then he did have trouble with his heart." "I don't know, Lieutenant." "I was his dentist, not his doctor." "Oh, his dentist." "(CHUCKLES)" "Sounds like I should apologize for something." "Well, dentists, they gotta live, too." "I suppose." "How was he feeling last night?" "What's that?" "I said, how was he feeling last night, sir, when he was here?" "Any problems?" "Chest pains?" "Anything like that?" "What makes you think he was here last night, Lieutenant?" "Oh, it's very simple, sir." "We found these matches in his shirt pocket." "Oh." "Well, he could have picked those up anytime." "Oh, then he was a friend." "I mean, he's been here as a guest in the house?" "Yeah." "I wouldn't say he was a close friend." "Well, we met him at a party sometime ago, and Lydia, she's a big fan of his." "But he wasn't here last night?" "Not that I know of, Lieutenant." "But then again, I wasn't here." "Last night was my poker night." "I left here about 8:00." "Didn't get back until..." "I don't remember what time I got back, but I didn't see Adam." "Very good." "What's that?" "These bagels are very good." "Thank you." "Would you like another?" "May I, sir?" "I didn't have any breakfast." "Sure, help yourself." "Go ahead." "Lieutenant, do you always chew on one side of your mouth?" "Oh, no, sir." "It's just when you told me what you did, it reminded me I have this sensitive tooth on the left side." "Could be a cavity." "I don't know." "I just ignore it." "That's not very smart of you, Lieutenant." "Well, I can't stand drilling." "I mean, it's not the drilling so much." "I can't stand the sound." "Just thinking about it makes me very ill." "You ought to come see me sometime." "I use an ultrasonic drill." "Thing purrs like a kitten." "You won't feel a thing." "Well, you know, now, that's just what I need." "One of those." "Lieutenant, I'd prefer that you didn't speak to my wife right now." "I'd like to break the news to her about Adam, and, you see, she's got this heart condition." "Speak to your wife, sir?" "The thought never entered my mind." "This is just routine, you know." "You told me Mr. Evans wasn't here." "That's good enough for me, sir." "I see." "I'm just checking for the record." "You understand." "It's so sad, isn't it?" "A young guy like Adam, dying so unexpectedly." "You know, I had a cousin once, about the same age." "He didn't smoke, he didn't drink, worked out a couple of times a week." "Just walking along the street." "(SNAPPING FINGERS) Just like that." "Mmm." "Heart attack?" "No, he got run over by a bakery truck." "Well, I want to thank you for the bagels and the coffee." "(LAUGHING)" "I got everything I need." "Appreciate the time." "Hey, glad to be of help." "Let me show you out." "That was Lieutenant Columbo from the police." "What did he want?" "He wanted to know if Adam was here last night." "How did he know?" "Well, what did you tell him?" "I told him I was sure that he wasn't." "Now, listen, the only ones who know what happened are you, me, David and Lydia." "As long as we stick together, nobody will suspect her of anything." "Suspect her?" "Of what?" "What could they possibly suspect her of?" "Dad, don't worry." "Whatever happens, we're gonna stick by her." "It'll be all right." "LYDIA:" "Wesley?" "Yes." "Hi." "Darling." "What have I done?" "It doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter." "I love you." "HORACE:" "Wesley?" "I want to express my gratitude, and I'm sorry that I misjudged you." "I will always be indebted to you." "To both of you." "MEDICAL EXAMINER:" "Interesting, Lieutenant." "This man's heart did not attack him." "What did?" "Medicine you take to prevent heart attacks." "Come again, Doctor." "Digitalis." "Are you saying that he had a bad heart, and he took too much of that stuff?" "There was nothing wrong with his heart." "There was nothing wrong with his heart?" "Nope." "But heart medicine killed him?" "Cause of death." "Ventricular arrhythmia induced by a massive overdose of digitalis." "The normal dose is around one milligram." "We found a hell of a lot more than that in his body." "About twice what it would take to kill him." "A milligram?" "How much is a milligram?" "A couple of grains of salt." "Are you saying all it took to kill this man was the equivalent of a dozen or so grains of salt?" "That's close enough." "How long did it take?" "I mean, to kill him?" "Quick." "A minute, maybe two." "Hmm." "Any marks on his body?" "Fifty-seven." "Fifty-seven!" "Minor mutilations and dilapidations, lesions, lacerations, abrasions, incisions, contusions." "The man made action movies." "He did his own stunts." "But here, let me show you." "The only new wound we found was a gash inside the mouth on the right cheek." "Here, take a look." "Any idea what caused that?" "Pre-death convulsions, maybe." "Convulsions?" "Doc, can I make a copy of this report?" "Help yourself." "Oh, one more thing, Doctor." "That little white speck that we found on the corner of his mouth was about the size of a grain of salt." "Was that digitalis?" "No." "That was salt." "Salt?" "Regular salt?" "Yeah." "You know, that stuff you put on food." "But it says here his stomach was empty." "He didn't eat since breakfast." "That's the last time he ate." "He had" ".07 alcohol in his blood." "He had a drink before he died?" "That's not all he had." "Does that mean what I think it means?" "You mean, he was..." "Can you think of a better way to go?" "(DOORBELL RINGING)" "Yes, Lieutenant?" "Oh, I didn't expect to see you here." "I thought you'd be at the office." "What can I do for you?" "Well, actually, nothing." "My business is with Mrs. Corman." "May I ask what kind of business?" "Well, it's really rather personal, sir." "If I could see her, it'd just take a minute." "No, I'm sorry." "Mrs. Corman is not feeling very well." "She's very upset over Adam's death." "Uh-huh." "Unless you think it's absolutely necessary." "Well, I'm afraid it is, sir." "(WESLEY CHATTERING)" "I'll handle it." "Lieutenant, I'm Dr. Horace Sherwin, Lydia's father." "I'm sorry, my daughter isn't well." "Whatever you came to see her about will have to wait." "Look, I only have one question." "If I could just ask her that, and then I leave." "What is it you want to know?" "I just want to know if Mr. Evans dropped by last night." "Come on, Lieutenant, I already answered that." "I told you he wasn't here." "Well, not quite, sir." "When I asked you, you said, "Not that you know of," because you weren't here." "Well, he wasn't here." "Were you here, sir?" "No." "Then how do you know?" "My daughter would have told me." "COLUMBO:" "Did you ask her?" "I don't have to ask her." "Why don't you ask her?" "Do it privately." "You do it." "Just tell me what she says." "I just need an answer." "I don't want to upset anybody." "Sure, I know, Lieutenant." "You're just doing your job." "Thank you, sir." "I appreciate that." "Lieutenant, Adam Evans was not here." "Did she speak to him on the telephone yesterday, sir?" "No." "She said no." "The telephone records indicate that they spoke five times." "Five times?" "There were five calls." "Oh, my God." "I'm gonna have to mention it." "Doctor, the phone records indicate that your daughter spoke to Mr. Evans five times yesterday." "HORACE:" "What difference does that make?" "The man died of a heart attack." "I'm afraid not, sir." "Mr. Evans was murdered." "WESLEY:" "Murdered?" "COLUMBO:" "Poisoned by some kind of medicine." "Poisoned?" "Oh, my God." "That's insane." "Lydia, this must be terrible for you." "I love you." "I'll always love you." "I'll always be there for you." "That's why it's important that I know where he was last night, ma'am." "Lydia, don't answer that." "You don't have to answer." "He was here." "Thank you, ma'am." "Did he have a drink?" "Lieutenant, she's not gonna answer any more of your questions." "You mean, she can't say whether he had a drink?" "HORACE:" "No, she can't." "She doesn't have to say a word!" "He did have a drink." "Was it a margarita?" "LYDIA:" "Yes." "I thought so." "Well, how did you know?" "When we found him, he had a grain of salt here on his lip, and there was alcohol in his stomach." "And the only drink I can think of that has those two ingredients is a margarita." "Where did he have it, ma'am?" "In there." "Did you make the margarita, ma'am, or did he?" "I did." "I see." "He said that I made the best margaritas in the world." "Yes, ma'am." "And this was the tequila?" "Yes." "Ma'am, was the bottle full when you opened it?" "Yes." "This is the blender?" "Yes." "And what did you drink the margaritas out of, ma'am?" "Over there." "The glass." "Oh, there's only one glass." "Did you share the drink, ma'am?" "No." "I can't drink." "I see." "So there was only one glass, and this was it, and it was his?" "LYDIA:" "Yes." "I'd like to take these down to the lab and have them examine them." "Unless there's an objection." "And what if there is?" "Oh, I'm afraid I'd have to get a court order, sir." "Lieutenant, you don't really believe you're going to find poison in there, do you?" "I certainly hope not, sir." "Ma'am, your husband mentioned that you have a heart condition." "Do you take any medication for it?" "Yes." "Is that it that I see in your hand?" "May I see it?" "Thank you very much, ma'am." "I don't think I have to take up any more of your time." "I'll call the lab, and I'll be leaving as soon as they get here." "I'm sorry to have disturbed you, and I..." "I really hope this is the last time I have to bother you." "From your mouth to God's ear, Lieutenant." "Oh, one more question, ma'am." "After Mr. Evans had his drink, how much longer was he still here?" "Just a few minutes, and then he was gone." "Gone." "NED:" "Well, no poison in the tequila bottle." "I'll have the results of the glass in a minute." "Okay." "So you pulled out your handkerchief, and it was full of blue blotches?" "Yeah, all full of blue blotches." "And there were people there." "It was embarrassing." "I think you better check with your wife." "I'm gonna do that." "Thank God it's only on the handkerchief." "But there was poison in the glass and the blender." "There was poison in the glass and the blender?" "And Mrs. Corman said the bottle was full when she opened it." "Ned, do you have a beaker?" "Yeah." "And full, it contains 750 milliliters." "Are these markings milliliters?" "Right." "Well, that's about 630." "630 from 750, that's 120." "How much is that in ounces?" "About four." "Four." "Hmm." "I'm gonna leave this here with you, Ned." "All right." "And thank you very much." "Mmm-hmm." "Nice shirt." "Right." "(CHUCKLING)" "(EAS Y-LISTENING MUSIC PLAYING)" "Can I help you?" "(WHISPERING) May I speak to Dr. Corman please?" "Do you have an appointment?" "No, ma'am." "Are you in pain?" "(WHISPERING) I'm not here to see him about my teeth." "Why are you whispering?" "Police, Lieutenant Columbo." "I'm whispering 'cause I don't want to alarm the patients." "They look nervous enough already." "That's very thoughtful of you, Lieutenant." "Let me just check with the doctor." "(INTERCOM BUZZING)" "FRANCES:" "Doctor?" "Doctor?" "Yes, Frances?" "Dr. Corman, there's a... (WHISPERING) There's a Lieutenant Columbo here to see you." "Yeah, send him right into my office." "You can wait right in here, Lieutenant." "Oh." "Thank you very much, ma'am." "Oh, look at all these movie stars." "Yeah, look at this." "Yes." "Dr. Corman has many celebrities among his clientele." "Oh, Adam Evans." "Yeah." "BOTH:" "What a shame." "(BOTH CLICKING TONGUES)" "I just saw one of his pictures." "(SIGHING) Yeah?" "Yeah, he was in a tank." "It was in the desert." "He come out of the tank, he had a big Japanese sword." "Did you see that one?" "No, I missed that one." "Oh, it was good." "Poor man." "He was so young." "He always lit up the place when he came in for an appointment." "As a matter of fact, he was due in for some work the very afternoon of the night he died." "Oh, so you just saw him a few days ago?" "No, he didn't come in." "You mean he never showed up?" "Oh, no, Lieutenant." "Mr. Evans was far too considerate ever to be a no-show." "No, he called the doctor himself to cancel." "Thank you, Frances." "I'll take it from here." "Sorry, I don't have much time, Lieutenant." "I have a patient who's waiting." "I understand, sir." "Just a couple of questions." "Take a minute." "The lab examined the tequila bottle, the blender and the glass." "And?" "And they found poison, sir." "Well, that's absurd." "The bottle was clean, but the residue in the blender and the glass was loaded with digitalis." "It's unbelievable." "That's the same medicine that your wife takes, is that right, sir?" "Yes." "Are you suggesting that my wife poisoned Adam Evans?" "Was anyone else there, sir?" "No." "But I know that she didn't kill him." "Can you think of anyone else who might have had a reason to kill him?" "(SIGHING)" "No, I can't, Lieutenant." "Adam was very well-liked." "I never heard a bad word spoken about him." "Now, he ran around with a lot of women if that means anything." "Well, thank you, sir." "That could be very helpful." "Well, I know you got a patient waiting." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "I just want to say before I go that, boy, of all the cases, this one, I'll tell you, this is a mishmash." "You know, a fella takes that amount of poison, how does he get in his car and drive all the way up to Mulholland," "10 miles away, and then die?" "Exactly what is it you're trying to say, Lieutenant?" "I don't know, sir." "If he was poisoned at your house, and died there," "I mean, the body could have been moved." "Do you seriously think that my wife killed Adam Evans, drove him up to Mulholland Drive, and pushed his car over the cliff?" "Oh, no, sir." "And you want to know why?" "Yes." "I don't see how she could have moved such a big man from the pool house to the car without help." "Would you validate this for me, sir?" "My parking ticket?" "Sure." "RON:" "I'm in for 200." "TED:" "Yeah, me, too." "What the... (DOORBELL RINGS)" "(STUTTERS) Just a minute." "All right, I'll raise it 100." "(DOORBELL RINGING) Coming!" "Whatever you're selling, we don't want any." "Oh, I'm not selling anything, sir." "I'm from the police." "The police?" "We didn't call the police." "Anyone call the police?" "No." "Go away!" "(ALL CHATTERING) Cut it short." "May I come in, sir?" "Sure, but I'm sure we didn't call the police." "Were these people here the night before last?" "Yeah." "May I ask them some questions?" "Be my guest." "Thank you." "My name is Lieutenant Columbo." "Excuse me for interrupting your game." "I just want to ask you a few questions, and I'll try to get out of your hair as..." "You Nancy Walker?" "That's right." "From the Rock Hudson show?" "Nancy Walker?" "You got it." "What are you doing here?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "I'm playing cards." "I'll be a monkey's uncle!" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Sit down, Lieutenant." "Oh, well, thank you very much." "It's nice to meet you." "Well, it's nice to meet you, ma'am." "Thank you." "Wait till I tell my wife about this." "(ALL CHUCKLE)" "Yes, as I was saying, I would like to establish the whereabouts of Mr. Wesley Corman the night before last." "He was here." "He was here?" "Yeah." "And what time did he get here?" "I don't know." "What time did Wesley get here?" "Well, by the time I got here, he was already complaining that he was down for $2,000." "Yeah, I got here at 8:30, and he was already here when I got here." "MAN:" "Yeah, that's about right." "I know this gentleman here." "Is he somebody, too?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Oh, yeah, you bet." "You bet." "Where do I know this man from?" "He was on TV." "Not in a while." "It was..." "Lately, it's been Bakersfield." "TED:" "Oh, yeah, definitely in Bakersfield." "He's very big there." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "He was in the Easter Day Parade there." "He played Rumpelstiltskin." "No, no, no." "He took it to new dramatic heights." "He was marvelous." "On TV." "On..." "No, it was I Love Lucy." "That was his greatest hit." "I Love Lucy?" "TED:" "Yeah, that's right." "Yeah, the Lucy show." "No, no." "You mean the neighbor?" "Yeah, that's right." "No, the neighbor was a stouter fella." "(STAMMERING) Yeah, that's Dom DeLuise." "Dom DeLuise?" "No." "I love Dom DeLuise." "But, no, sir, you were..." "What was it?" "I did Bewitched." "By gum, Bewitched." "You were wonderful on that show, sir." "That was on Tuesday night." "You know, Lieutenant, do you think you maybe could get on with the questions?" "We'd kind of like to finish our game if that would be okay." "Oh, absolutely, sir." "I'm sorry." "Okay." "Forgive me." "So, am I safe in saying that, what, he got here between 8:00, 8:30, something like that?" "Yeah, that's right, yeah." "RON:" "Why are you so interested in Wesley?" "Is this a serious problem?" "This is Ron Cey." "This is the baseball player." "That's right." "(ALL LAUGHING) Who else is here?" "Lieutenant, the questions?" "You know, the game?" "Oh." "Yeah, you want to speed it up, Chief?" "You see, I got a date to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight." "Know what I mean?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Jack Nicholson." "He knows." "I love this guy." "He knows!" "I think we should mention the phone call." "What phone call was that, sir?" "The phone call from Lydia." "Oh, Dr. Corman's wife called?" "VALENTINE:" "She was hysterical." "She..." "She was yelling, "Help me!" ""Heart attack!" "Please help!"" "They all heard her." "And what was she saying?" ""Help me." Very agitated." "Very..." "COLUMBO:" "About a heart attack?" "Yeah." "And then what happened?" "You were on the phone, sir?" "Yeah, I was trying to calm her down, and I said, "Who is this?" And she said, "Lydia Corman."" "And that's when Wesley jumped up and grabbed the phone." "Dr. Corman grabbed the phone when he heard it was his wife that was on the phone?" "Right." "But she didn't ask for him." "She just said her name?" "VALENTINE:" "That's right." "Mmm-hmm." "And what did Dr. Corman say when he got on the phone?" "He said, "Lydia, what's wrong?" "What happened?"" "That's it?" "Yeah, he shouted her name a couple of times, but I think she'd already gotten off the phone by then." "And then he left?" "Yes." "DICK:" "He and David." "Who's David?" "David Sherwin." "He's Wes' brother-in-law." "Oh, Lydia's brother was here?" "Yeah." "He saw the look on Wes' face, and, well, he knew that Lydia was having trouble again." "Was she in trouble often?" "What do you mean by that?" "Listen, if somebody made a film of their marriage, it would be called One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Part Two." "Until a couple of months ago, every time we had a game, she would call twice in the evening." "Lieutenant, could you tell us what this is all about?" "I wish I knew, ma'am, I wish I knew." "Well, thank you all very much for your time." "Interesting group." "(ALL CHUCKLING)" "David." "Thanks, Wes." "I'm worried about Lieutenant Columbo." "What about him?" "First of all, he knows the body was moved." "HORACE:" "What?" "But that's not the worst of it." "He found poison in Adam's glass and the blender, but not the bottle." "And the poison was digitalis." "(SIGHS)" "Digitalis." "Now, what I'm worried about is what happens when he finds out what happened seven years ago." "And he will." "It's only a matter of time." "Now, I don't know how the poison got in the glass, but you can bet that Columbo thinks that Lydia put it in there." "I mean, how else would it have gotten in?" "I think the best thing to do is to put her where no one can find her, like you did last time." "But last time she was sick." "Mentally ill." "Yeah." "But so is the person who put the poison in that glass." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hello?" "COLUMBO:" "Wesley Corman?" "Yes." "Is David Sherwin with you?" "Yes, David's here, Lieutenant." "(WESLEY SIGHS)" "It's 11:00." "All right." "Barney's Beanery?" "No, not Barney's Beanery." "We'll meet you at" "Club Fifth Avenue in half an hour." "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)" "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Thank you." "What does he want to talk to me about?" "I don't know, David." "It might be better if I do the talking." "I won't say a word." "Don't worry, not a word." "WESLEY:" "There he is." "The raincoat." "Remember, he's a lot sharper than he appears." "Sir, sir, your coat." "My coat?" "Oh!" "Oh, thank you very much, yes." "Thank you, sir." "David Sherwin." "How do you do, sir?" "Good evening, Lieutenant." "Good evening." "How are you?" "Fine, thank you." "You know, I've passed this place 100 times, and I always thought, "I bet it's interesting." "I'd like to see it inside."" "Have you ever had that feeling?" "Yes." "So tonight, I pull up, guess who the valet parking guy is?" "My wife's cousin." "Really?" "Would you believe that?" "My wife's cousin." "Small world." "It is, isn't it?" "And this poor guy, you know, he gambles." "He should talk to you 'cause he never wins." "He had a bar." "He lost it." "His wife left him." "It's terrible." "Tell you the truth, Lieutenant, I don't have much sympathy for guys like that." "Right, sir." "May I ask you something?" "Your wife, sir, made five calls to the victim on the afternoon of his death." "Do you know what those calls were about?" "It's funny you should ask." "David and I were talking about that with my father-in-law just before you called." "Really?" "Yeah." "The calls were about a restaurant in Cannes." "Five calls?" "Yeah." "You know, she forgot the name of the place." "She had to call him back." "They had a mutual friend somewhere, could he pick her up some perfume from Paris, you know, that kind of thing." "I see." "Gentlemen, I'm going to say something to both of you." "I don't want you to take offense." "It's not going to be easy for me to say." "You two have been less than honest with me." "I don't know what you mean." "I was at John Valentine's tonight, and I spoke to the poker players." "And I know that your wife called, and I know that she was hysterical." "Something about a heart attack." "And I know you both ran home to help her." "How did you know the game was at John Valentine's?" "From your answering service." "You left word where you could be reached." "Why did you conceal that information from me?" "Tell him the truth, Wesley?" "Got no other choice." "We moved the body, Lieutenant." "David and I moved the body." "Right?" "Yes, we did." "We did it to protect Lydia." "I mean, no, I don't mean that there was something that she'd done then that..." "David, maybe I better explain." "Lieutenant, seven years ago, my wife's first husband dropped dead in a Mexican hotel room on their wedding night." "They were in bed." "They were making love, and just like that, he was gone." "Heart attack." "Lydia tried to save him." "She gave him some of her medicine which, as we both know, can kill somebody if they don't have the same heart condition that she has." "Oh." "Maybe you can understand why she's taken Adam's death so hard." "I would do anything to protect her from the kind of torture that she went through before." "So that's why you moved the body, because you didn't want any connection between your wife and the victim?" "Yes." "To tell you the truth, if it happened all over again, I'd do the exact same thing, and I think you would, too." "Absolutely." "Well, I want to thank you for your candor." "You know, up until tonight, this whole case was a total mishmash." "But now that you said what you just said, things are beginning to clear up." "Thank you very much." "Not at all." "Thank you." ""Beginning to clear up." What did he mean?" "Hard to say." "Mrs. Corman?" "Mrs. Corman?" "Ma'am?" "Yes?" "Are you all right, ma'am?" "What's happening?" "I..." "I don't understand." "I don't understand about the poison." "Well, what about it, ma'am?" "Well, Wesley told me that you found poison in the margarita glass." "That's true." "But, Lieutenant, all I did was make a margarita." "I don't know anything about any poison." "Well, ma'am, there are two things that we can't get around." "He died from digitalis, and there was digitalis in the glass." "Actually, there are three." "Can we go to the pool house?" "Mr. Evans did not die up on Mulholland Drive." "He was dead when the car went over the cliff." "He died here in the house, probably right there on that couch." "And if you're wondering how I know, ma'am, it was all in the autopsy report" "that you and Mr. Evans were making love shortly before he died." "And under those circumstances, not many women would call their husbands for help." "They would call 911, let the paramedics clean things up, then call their husbands." "Well, that's who I called." "I called 911." "You called 911?" "Are you sure?" "I'm not sure of anything that happened that night, but I am sure that I pressed the 911 button, yes." "On that phone?" "Yes, on that phone." "(SPEED-DIALING)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "MAN ON PHONE:" "911 emergency." "Hello?" "Hello?" "911." "Sorry, mistake." "What happened after your husband and brother came here?" "I don't know." "All I remember is Adam collapsing, and then pressing the 911 button." "Are those your pills outside on the table?" "Yes." ""Take as directed."" "How many do you take a day, ma'am?" "I take two." "Do you ever take more?" "Oh, no, never." "They're much too dangerous." "This prescription for 50 tablets is dated 15 days ago." "That means there should be 20 left." "Hold out your hand, ma'am." "Did you take one today?" "Yes." "Two, 4, 6, 8, 10." "Hmm." "Any idea what happened to the other nine pills, ma'am?" "No." "You think I poisoned Adam, don't you, Lieutenant?" "It does look that way, doesn't it, ma'am?" "(MUMBLING)" "What are you trying to do, McCulley, kill it?" "McCULLEY:" "The thing took my last quarter, Lieutenant." "Well, isn't there a number you can call, or something?" "Well, how am I gonna call?" "I haven't got a quarter." "Oh, you want coffee?" "I'll buy." "I wouldn't trust it." "(COINS CLANKING)" "WOMAN ON PA:" "Paging Katherine Stewart." "You're wanted in the conference room." "Katherine Stewart, you're wanted in the conference room." "It took my quarter." "I tried to tell you." "You see the morning paper?" "Only the ball scores." "Big story on the Adam Evans case." "That he was poisoned in some woman's pool house, and then moved to Mulholland." "How did they hear about that?" "You mean, it's true?" "Yeah, but who tipped the paper off?" "Well, I got another question for you." "If it's true, how come you haven't arrested this woman?" "'Cause she didn't do it." "How's that for an answer?" "Well, according to the papers, she was the last person to see this guy." "She was alone with him." "She gave him the drink that killed him." "Who else could have done it?" "The husband." "The husband was at a poker game, four miles away at the time." "How do you think he managed it?" "If I knew that, I'd arrest him." "Well, lots of luck, Lieutenant." "I'll see you later, huh?" "(COFFEE POURING IN CUP)" "(COLUMBO WHISTLING)" "WESLEY:" "You like the six horse in the fourth race?" "What about the one horse?" "No, I like him." "Oh, he's no good, huh?" "You really like the six?" "Okay." "Did you look at the five?" "Oh, okay, then that's what we'll do." "Right." "No, I'm leaving right now." "I'll see you out there at the top of the first race." "No, I'm leaving!" "Right." "I'll see you then." "Okay." "Bye-bye." "Going to the track, huh?" "Oh, yeah, big race today." "Oh!" "Hey, you want a good horse?" "A horse?" "Yeah, a horse to bet on." "To bet on?" "What's his name?" "Pinocchio." "Pinocchio?" "Is he gonna win?" "Guaranteed." "Guaranteed?" "No kidding." "The six horse, fourth race." "You got a tip?" "I got a tip." "You got a tip." "Okay, baby, count me in." "Yes, sir." "This is my lucky day." "Oh, sir, are you in a hurry?" "'Cause I can get my business done quick." "I'd appreciate it." "I want to be there for the first race." "You got it, sir." "This Pinocchio, he's a boy horse?" "Oh, this Pinocchio's a girl." "Oh, a girl horse." "Mmm-hmm." "How's your luck running?" "Lieutenant, I'd appreciate it." "I'm in a bit of a hurry." "I understand, sir." "You got it." "You've got my money." "That's why I was worried how your luck was running." "Oh, here's what I was looking for." "You want me to validate that?" "Oh, this is not mine, sir." "No, that's from the downstairs garage." "No, but you see the date?" "It's three days ago." "This was the day Mr. Evans died." "This was his parking ticket." "Well, how do you know it's his?" "Well, it matches the stub that we found on his windshield." "Oh." "What about it?" "Sir, I didn't mean to bet the 10." "I was thinking 2, maybe 5." "What do you think?" "Oh, I think you can go the 5." "What about the ticket?" "Well, it shows that he parked the car down there at 12:20." "And, what bothers me, sir, is..." "You said that he canceled his appointment." "Oh, he did." "He did?" "It's a big building, Lieutenant." "Doctors, lawyers, accountants." "He could've been here and seen anybody." "Oh, so he canceled you, and something more important came up." "Most likely." "Do you know of any other ailment that he had?" "I'm thinking if he saw another doctor, I might check." "Lieutenant, please, I have no idea why he was here." "All right." "Oh, what's this?" "It's a crown." "A crown?" "What's it made out of?" "A porcelain compound." "Porcelain?" "Mmm-hmm." "Like in a tea cup or a toilet bowl?" "(CHUCKLING)" "I don't know." "I don't keep up with that stuff." "I never was any good at chemistry." "I put some glue on and pop them in." "That's about it." "It looks just like a tooth." "If you'll excuse me, I gotta go." "I gotta be there in 30 minutes." "I understand." "Good luck, Doc." "Bye-bye." "Oh, sir!" "Yes?" "Could I just have my $5 change?" "Oh." "I hope your luck keeps running good, sir." "You know, that has a way of changing." "Not mine." "I'm on a roll." "I'll see you later." "(MAN CHATTERING ON PA)" "(PEOPLE CHEERING)" "ANNOUNCER ON PA:" "Here comes Gray Wonder, tailing just on the outside in second." "Then it's back to Desert Folly in high pursuit." "They're in the stretch." "English Pleasure clings on to the lead." "Gray Wonder is right up alongside him." "Now they're neck and neck in this stretch." "English Pleasure and Gray Wonder, those two are stride for stride." "Inside the final sixteenth of a mile, actually it's Gray Wonder up on the outside in front of English Pleasure and coming under the wire..." "All right!" "Do I know how to pick them or what?" "Congratulations, buddy." "I told you, that jockey can't lose today." "Did you put the money on him?" "I told you to." "Did Pinocchio win, Doc?" "No, he hasn't run yet." "Oh, good." "I was afraid I'd get here too late and miss it." "How's your luck running?" "Oh, I'm on a hot streak, Lieutenant." "Great." "Do you think I could join you?" "Oh, we're all filled up here." "I'm sorry, Lieutenant." "I don't know what to say." "Did you bet my money?" "I sure did." "Well, that's the important thing." "Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed, Doc." "Excuse me." "Yeah." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "ANNOUNCER:" "Ladies and gentlemen..." "Things are going good, huh?" "Going good, huh?" "Very good." "Lieutenant, we're working on the next race." "You're gonna have to excuse us." "(TRUMPET BLOWING)" "Beautiful out here, isn't it?" "Yes, it is." "Did you bet Pinocchio?" "What race is that?" "Doc, what race is Pinocchio?" "Four." "Fourth." "Did you bet him?" "I bet him, yeah." "I got a tip." "This fella here next to me, he's a dentist, but he bets thousands." "No kidding?" "ANNOUNCER:" "... better than $637,000." "Coming up on Sunday..." "Remember these, Doc?" "You remember them?" "I think those were planted on Mr. Evans' body." "Why would you say a thing like that?" "I don't understand how they got in his pocket." "Well, I thought I explained it to you, Lieutenant." "He must have picked them up at the house." "But what bothers me is not a single match was used." "Now, whenever I borrow a match, it's because I want to light my cigar." "Why would a guy pick up a book of matches, and not use a single match?" "I imagine because he wanted to use them later." "He had a completely filled lighter in his pocket." "Lieutenant, it wasn't Adam's first visit to the house." "He could have picked those matches up at any time." "Well, I would buy that if I found them in his jacket pocket." "But these were found in his shirt pocket, and if he was anything like me, he changed his shirt every day." "Uh-huh." "I see what you mean." "So I'm stuck." "I don't know how they got there, unless somebody put them there." "I wish I could help you." "Well, don't worry about it." "If your horse wins, that's the important thing." "Then you've done your share." "No problem, Lieutenant." "Yeah." "Bet the winners." "I always bet the winners." "Right." "Say, did you know that in Mr. Evans' car at the crash site, we found the gearshift in neutral?" "Excuse me." "This is my seat." "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am." "Did you know that, Doc?" "I didn't know that, Lieutenant." "Hi." "It just seemed strange, you know, when I first saw it, that someone who crashed a car into a ditch during a fatal heart attack, that he would put the gear into neutral." "I know what you mean." "COLUMBO:" "I wonder if that could have been deliberate?" "Just to make sure that the police wouldn't simply write it off as a heart attack and let it go at that." "MAN:" "Excuse me." "That guy's a real pain in the butt." "Yeah, you got that right." "Let's get back to business." "What about number one, here?" "COLUMBO:" "Sir?" "Sir, I didn't come here because of my bet." "You didn't?" "COLUMBO:" "No." "No, it was something else." "Come here." "Sir, I assume you know what your wife and Mr. Evans were doing just before he died?" "Yes, Lieutenant, I do know." "You do know." "I thought you did." "But you wanted to protect her anyway." "I still do." "You must love her very much." "She's got my number, Lieutenant." "Well, I've got some very good news to tell you about her." "I also have some not-so-good news." "Could we go somewhere where we could talk?" "Absolutely." "COLUMBO:" "There are very few husbands that would do what you did." "You're very rare." "WESLEY:" "I really had no choice." "COLUMBO:" "Why don't we just stand at the bar?" "Is that all right?" "WESLEY:" "Fine with me." "Would you care for a drink, sir?" "Lieutenant, you said you had good news about my wife." "I'd like to hear it." "Well, she's innocent." "She's what?" "She didn't do it." "She didn't do it?" "No, sir." "Well, that's terrific!" "That's great news!" "God, what a relief!" "You're sure?" "Absolutely." "Red." "RED:" "Yes, sir?" "When you have a minute." "I'm gonna show you." "We know how much margarita was in the blender because the residue left a mark." "Would you do me a favor, sir?" "Yes, sir." "Would you fill that with water right up to that mark?" "Just water, sir?" "Just water." "(RED CHUCKLES)" "Believe it or not, I used to have red hair." "And this is the actual glass that Evans drank the margarita from." "Thank you very much." "Now, let me show you something, sir." "This is gonna put your mind at rest." "Mr. Evans drinks his first margarita." "Then he drank his second margarita." "And we know he had two margaritas." "How?" "Because the glass and the blender were empty when we found them." "Problem." "How did he drink the second margarita?" "Answer." "He couldn't have." "Why not?" "Because he would have been dead after the first one." "According to the coroner, the amount of poison in that glass, he'd have been dead in a minute." "So, what does this all mean?" "Well, it means that there was no poison in the blender when he drank the margarita." "None." "The poison was put in the glass and the blender after he was dead." "The poison in the margarita didn't kill him." "Poison from someplace else killed him." "Someplace else." "Someplace else." "So your wife, she's in the clear." "That's good news, right?" "Wonderful news, Lieutenant." "Just wonderful." "So, what's the not-so-good news?" "Oh, well, that's a little complicated to explain." "Maybe, I better show it to you." "Just take a minute." "Sir, did you know that the night your wife called the poker game for help, that she dialed 911, but she didn't get 911?" "She got John Valentine's house." "Listen, if she got John's house, she must have dialed John's number." "COLUMBO:" "Well, she was having an affair with another man." "It's a big question as to whether she was gonna call her husband." "And she's sure that she pressed the 911 button." "Here's what I think happened." "Press the speakerphone." "COLUMBO:" "Now the 911 button." "(SPEED-DIALING)" "(RINGING)" "WOMAN ON PHONE:" "John Valentine's residence." "That's what I think happened." "I think somebody reprogrammed the 911 button, so that it would ring at John Valentine's house." "Are you telling me that you found the 911 button on that phone programmed to ring John's number?" "No, sir." "But whoever changed it originally was too clever to leave it that way." "And it only takes a second to reprogram it." "Excellent work, Lieutenant." "Thank you, sir." "Excellent work." "My goodness, you've really spent some time on this." "Yes, sir." "Interesting theory." "Should I call my lawyer?" "Well, that's up to you, sir." "(CHUCKLING)" "There's one thing that puzzles me." "Why don't you arrest me?" "That's a good question." "That is a good question." "Red, a scotch for the Lieutenant, and I'd like a glass of milk, please." "Yes, sir." "It's my lucky drink." "Lieutenant, I assume that when you said you had bad news for my wife, that you meant that her husband not only murdered her lover, but was attempting to frame her for the crime." "That is true, sir." "I also assume that you've spoken to my in-laws, and that they told you I was a leach." "That I lived off their money, that I manipulated my wife, and they wanted to kick me out." "Yes, sir, I did." "You found a terrific motive." "My wife ends up in prison or an asylum," "I look like a devoted husband, and my father-in-law would do anything for me." "It sounds right." "You think that I murdered Adam Evans." "I do, sir." "Tell me, how did I do that?" "I don't know, sir." "You don't know." "That's a bit of a problem, isn't it?" "It is." "Thank you, Red." "Well, it's fortunate I'm so good-natured, Lieutenant." "Somebody else might take offense." "Tell you what I'm gonna do." "I'm gonna go out there and root for our horse." "Now, you're welcome to join me," "or you can stay here and try to figure it out." "I think I'll stay here, sir." "I thought you would." "I'll see you later, Lieutenant." "ANNOUNCER: (ON PA) And one of the outsiders in here, in fact, a big outsider at 25-to-1, is Pinocchio." "If you don't come to see me, you're going to have troubles." "That's the way it is." "So, what's the problem?" "It's this tooth here." "It's killing me." "I think it's a cavity." "I'll do the diagnosing." "Open." "(EXCLAIMING)" "That's beautiful." "(YELLING)" "What was that?" "You got a big problem under that filling." "Gotta give you a new one." "Today?" "Today." "I was hoping that we could do it another day." "No." "I only want some information." "Oh!" "Information." "The man's tooth is on the verge of abscess, and all he wants is information." "I got a theory that is kicking around in my head, and I want to talk to you about it." "Let me ask you something." "Are things so bad downtown that you can't afford a new shirt?" "What's the matter with this shirt?" "It's got all these blue splotches on it." "It looks terrible." "Oh, that." "Laundry bluing." "You know what that is?" "No." "You're better off than I am." "Laundry bluing." "I still don't know what I did wrong." "I put it in the laundry, and everything came out with blue spots." "Underwear, shirts, my handkerchiefs." "And they say that the blue is not gonna come out." "Open." "Hey, Doc, take it easy, will you?" "You think I enjoy this?" "That's the trouble." "Nobody loves the dentist." "You got any idea how that makes a guy feel?" "Try being a homicide detective." "Well, at least your wife and dog love you." "Last time I tried to clean my wife's teeth, she bit me." "Open." "Come on." "Ah." "(GROANS)" "So, while you can still talk, what's the information?" "A guy goes to the dentist, say 12:30." "Now it's 10:00 at night, and he drops dead from a lethal dose of quick-acting poison." "I think the dentist did it, but I don't know how." "Boy, it's not bad enough we gotta be dentists." "Now we gotta be murderers, too." "So, how would you do it?" "Theoretically." "Theoretically?" "Yeah." "I don't have any idea." "Nah." "You want to find out something like that, you gotta talk to a better dentist than me." "Open." "(WHIRRING)" "DAVID:" "And you believe it?" "HORACE:" "Of course I believe it." "A man like Lieutenant Columbo calls me, tells me my daughter is no longer a suspect in a murder." "I believe it." "No, you believe that Wesley did it?" "Well, the Lieutenant's sure of it." "He just doesn't know how." "HORACE:" "I suspect that Wesley was a lot more clever than any of us gave him credit for." "DAVID:" "Fooled me." "He fooled all of us." "But now he's been found out." "Found out?" "That's right." "The usual, Lieutenant?" "No." "I don't know what I want, but I don't want the usual." "Don't feel like eating, huh?" "No." "I can understand that." "Neither do I." "I've had this head cold for the last three days, and it's killing me." "You got a cold?" "No, I was at the dentist." "And the Novocaine is wearing off." "I think I bit my cheek." "I can feel something there." "And the tooth is starting to hurt, and I don't feel like eating, but I'm hungry." "FINN:" "Want a little advice, Lieutenant?" "Go home, take a good shot of whiskey and get right into bed." "(SNEEZING)" "Oh, boy." "(SPEAKS SPANISH)" "FINN:" "Thank you." "Lieutenant, Lieutenant." "That was the happiest phone call I've ever received." "I can't tell you how grateful I am." "And so is my son." "I can't thank you enough, Lieutenant." "I am so relieved about Lydia, I..." "Well, the best way that you could thank me is if you could help me..." "Excuse me, sir." "Is there something wrong with your mouth?" "No, I was at the dentist, and the Novocaine is wearing off." "The best way you could thank me is if you could shed some light on how this could have happened." "I know that Mr. Evans was in your office building at 12:30 on the day he died from the parking stub." "I know he had an appointment to fill his cavity, and I don't care what Wesley says," "I believe that Evans was in Wesley's office at lunch time, and that's when it happened." "If that's when he was poisoned, then that's when he would have died." "There's no way around that." "Well, that's our problem." "Excuse me." "Finn!" "May I have a glass of water, please?" "I have to take my pain pill, 'cause it's starting to act up on me now." "Be careful of this ice on your tooth, there, Lieutenant." "What will you have?" "May I recommend... (SNEEZING)" "Bless you." "You better take something for that." "Boy, that sounds awful." "FINN:" "I tried everything." "I was in the market the other day, and I saw these things." "You know, all different colors." "Look like candy." "Probably a marketing gimmick, right?" "No, no, that's no gimmick." "Each one of those colors, they have a purpose." "See the beads here in the capsule?" "Well, the red ones, they dissolve in one minute, the yellows in 15, the greens in an hour, the blues in four hours, and whites in eight hours, and so on." "Well, you've seen the commercial." "Twelve-hour cold pill." "Isn't that something?" "Hey, no kidding." "I didn't know that." "Yeah, they're very common." "Yeah." "In fact, these pills here that your dentist recommended, they're the same thing." "That's how he did it." "HORACE:" "What's that?" "He coated it." "He coated the digitalis with a medical time-release gel." "And inserted it in a cavity." "Yeah, here are Mr. Evans' X-rays." "And you stopped and picked up the autopsy X-rays from the coroner?" "Yes, sir, I did." "Well, let's have them, and we'll find out." "Oh, I'm sorry, Lieutenant." "What's the matter?" "Well, Evans was coming in here to have a cavity filled on a lower left bicuspid." "But according to the coroner's X-ray, it was never touched." "Well, that's not possible." "Here, look for yourself." "Well, that's crazy." "I know that's how he did it." "Lower left bicuspid, huh?" "Wait a second." "Gash." "Hold the phone, Doc." "Gash." "Gash." "Where did I write that?" "Here it is." ""Gash in the right cheek." "Not the left cheek." ""The right cheek."" "Forget about the cavity, Doc." "What do you see on this side of the mouth?" "WOMAN:" "Yes, that seems to be everything, and it's all here right in the report." "Lieutenant, tell me what's going on, huh?" "I've got a dozen patients lined up this afternoon." "They'll have to wait, sir." "Maybe for a long time." "I told you that you murdered Mr. Evans." "(SIGHS) I told you that I'd get the proof." "Now I got it." "You have, huh?" "You killed him while he was sitting in a dentist's chair on the afternoon of the day he died." "(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) That's ridiculous." "You coated the digitalis with a medical gel, something that would dissolve over a period of several hours." "When it did, the poison seeped out." "It was absorbed through the gums and into the system." "Lieutenant, it's an absolutely lunatic theory." "I have to warn you, sir." "I've had Mr. Evans' body exhumed." "We will find traces of digitalis in his mouth." "And that, Dr. Corman, will convict you." "HORACE:" "Lieutenant, whenever you're ready." "Dad?" "These are X-rays taken in your office last week, Dr. Corman, of Adam Evans' teeth." "Do you think you could show me where the cavity is?" "Yes, Lieutenant." "Lower left, second-to-last molar." "You see that black spot right there?" "That's it." "Yes, sir." "Dr. Johnson, would you hold these?" "And as you have so aptly described it, Lieutenant, that is still a cavity." "I haven't touched it, and I assume no one else has." "COLUMBO:" "You know what the problem is?" "I went to my dentist yesterday, and he gave me Novocaine, and the first thing you know," "I bit the inside of my cheek without knowing it." "And you know something else?" "Adam Evans did the same thing." "Nasty cut on the inside of his cheek." "But the trouble is it's on the other side, away from the cavity." "You know what that says to me?" "No, I don't." "That says you put the poison somewhere else in his mouth." "May I have those X-rays, Doctor?" "Is that a crown, Dr. Sherwin?" "Excuse me." "Dr. Sherwin, is that a crown?" "Yes, it is." "Is that a porcelain crown?" "That's correct." "Come on, Lieutenant, give it up." "Even if the poison had been put under the crown, the body would have absorbed it by now." "You wouldn't find a trace." "But I'm not looking for traces of digitalis." "You know what that is, Doc?" "That's a chemistry set I had as a kid." "I gave it to my nephew last Christmas." "I'll tell you, that kid, he's a whiz at this." "Kind of takes after me, actually." "I was a terrific chemistry student in high school." "Now, watch this." "You said it yourself, Doc, that you didn't know a whole lot about chemistry, that you didn't keep up with this stuff." "And that's where you made your mistake." "Because last night, I couldn't sleep." "I went over to the nephew's house and I got this, and I was up half the night, playing around with it, and I made an interesting discovery." "Did you know that just the tiniest bit of digitalis will turn porcelain enamel blue when catalyzed by moisture heated to body temperature?" "No, I didn't." "You remember this?" "Porcelain crown?" "I saw one like that in your office the other day." "And in this envelope here, I have pure digitalis, which Dr. Johnson was kind enough to give me, and I'm going to sprinkle this digitalis onto this porcelain crown." "Now we heat some water." "Not much." "Now, I just want to get this water to approximately body temperature." "There, I think that ought to do it." "Eyedropper." "Not much." "Now watch carefully." "Do you see that?" "COLUMBO:" "And you know what, Doc?" "When we pull that porcelain crown from the right side of Adam Evans' mouth," "you can bet your eyetooth that the underside of it is gonna be stained blue." "You're through, Wesley." "It's a pity you were so weak in chemistry." "Dr. Johnson, hand me that extractor, please." "Thank you." "Forget it." "Just forget it, will you?" "There's no need." "Just leave it be." "(SIGHS)" "I couldn't believe it when Daddy told me." "You would have let me go to prison." "Or insane." "What I did is no worse than what you and your father had planned for me." "OFFICER:" "All right, let's go." "Oh, man, are you bananas." "Let me see that thing." "Digitalis on porcelain." "That won't do a damn thing." "You know, the only thing that's gonna turn this crown blue is something like common, ordinary laundry bluing." "Kind of like that stuff you got there in your shirt." "Laundry bluing?" "Is that a fact?"