"Hi, Kirk." "(WHISPERING) Are you crazy?" "Because I said hi?" "Shh." "Where's Leslie?" "She's in the dining room." "(WHISPERING) She's studying." "I wouldn't go in there." "(WHISPERING) I don't want to go in there." "I just wanted to make sure I don't run into her." "Leslie finally agreed to go out with me." "Tonight's our first date." "Oh, that's right." "Yeah." "I don't want to spoil it by seeing her ahead of time." "Oh, that's dumb." "You're right, it is dumb, but that's the way I want to handle it." "Anyway, I just came over because I want to know what aftershave I should wear tonight." "So, I want you to tell me which one is best." "Okay?" "Okay." "Yeah." "All right." "Nice." "Good." "This is it, right?" "Yeah." "Okay." "I like the right cheek best." "Good." "That's my favorite." "It's called War." "They have a great slogan, "Wear War because love is hell."" "What a turn-on." "I hope so." "I've waited so long for this night." "I want everything to be perfect." "Kirk, I hope you're keeping this in perspective." "I mean, after all, it is only a date." "A date with Leslie." "It doesn't make me a dope just because I want to go out and get my hair cut, my shoes shined and put gas in the new car." "You bought a new car?" "For a date with Leslie?" "No, I bought a new car because I need one." "What was wrong with your old one?" "It wasn't good enough for my date with Leslie." "Speaking of which, it must be ready by now." "I gotta go." "Tell Leslie I'll pick her up at 7:00 sharp." "I'm sure she'll be ready." "I doubt it." "I'll be early." "Hi, Kirk." "No time now, Dick." "I'm in a rush." "What was that all about?" "Tonight's his first date with Leslie." "Does Leslie know?" "Yeah." "(SNIFFSI" "What's that?" "War." "Smells like hell." "Did you come out for the mail?" "No, I just finished my book." "Honey, congratulations." "You know, the books on Kansas and Arkansas were fine, but..." "I don't know, in this book I think I've really said it all in the Many Moods afMinnesata." "What are you going to do now?" "Well, you know me." "When I finish a book, I like to celebrate, you know, do something I've never done before." "Want to help me clean the oven?" "I was hoping we could save that until New Year's Eve." "It's just something you've never done before." "You know what I'd really like to try?" "Skiing." "Skiing?" "Yeah." "Where's Leslie?" "She's in the dining room." "Dick, skiing is dangerous." "I know, that's why I'm going to take Leslie along." "She's a champion skier." "Dick, hold it." "Before you go in there, couldn't you wait till tomorrow to do this?" "Why should I wait till tomorrow?" "Because I'm hoping the snow will melt tonight." "Leslie!" "Leslie, how'd you like to take a break and teach me how to ski?" "Gee, I'd love to, but I can't." "I have this paper to write," "I have all my work to do around here, and I should at least wash my hair before my date with Kirk." "Okay, I'll go by myself." "Wait a minute, Dick." "I don't think you should go skiing the first time by yourself." "Well, I'm not exactly a total novice, you know." "I mean, I do water-ski." "It's basically the same principle." "Except in snow skiing, you're careening down the side ofa mountain." "I really wish you'd wait so I could go with you." "I'm fine." "Don't worry about me." "Oh, one thing." "I know when you're coming downhill, you know, you try to lean forward and keep your knees together and use your poles for balance." "But when you get to the bottom of the hill, how do you actually stop?" "I'm coming with you." "Old skiing bug bit you, huh?" "Can't resist!" "I'll just run upstairs and get my things." "I'll be careful." "I thought I'd knock off for lunch." "It's 10:00." "No, George!" "George, it's okay." "If you want to take a break, it's fine." "Oh, good." "I think I'm coming down with a cold." "What have you been doing?" "Looking for my snow shovel." "Has anybody seen it?" "Well, the last time I saw it, it was in the garage." "Oh, I can't get in the garage." "Why not?" "It's full of snow." "How come the garage is full of snow?" "I forgot to close the doors last night." "And that's why you need the shovel?" "Yeah." "It's a vicious circle, isn't it, Dick?" "Well, now you can't go skiing." "Your car's in the garage." "I'll use George's truck." "While you're out, how about picking up a new shovel?" "It was just a thought." "Dick?" "To save time, I'll dress out there while you're renting your stuff." "Leslie, promise me you won't teach Dick anything fancy." "Don't worry." "We'll stick to basics." "Joanna, will you stop treating me like a kid, and zip me up?" "I just don't feel good about this." "There's nothing to worry about." "I know what I'm doing." "Better yet, Leslie knows what she's doing." "I mean, you can't learn skiing and be safer than I am." "I guess you're right." "Oh, just so I'll know, where will you be?" "Suicide Point." "It's just a name." "Oh, yes, there are all kinds of things to do up here." "We have nature trails, scenic drives, historical sites." "We serve breakfast, and there's a café next door." "Oh, yes, we have several rooms with fireplaces." "I think it would be an ideal spot for a honeymoon." "Well, if he does propose, I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time." "You're welcome." "Oh, and good luck." "DICK:" "Joanna!" "Help!" "Oh, no, Dick!" "I knew it!" "I knew something like this would happen." "No, you didn't." "You thought I was going to hurt myself." "I hurt Leslie." "Help me get her to the sofa." "What happened?" "It was a fluke." "We were at the top of the bunny slope, that's ski talk, and, I don't know, I guess I got too close to the edge and I started to slip." "So I had to think quickly, and I grabbed onto something." "He grabbed onto me." "And she lost her balance and fell down and..." "He fell on top of me." "This could be serious." "I think we should calla doctor." "George!" "Where did he fall?" "On my knee." "I was in the kitchen fixing a mustard plaster for my cold." "George, we need a doctor." "Mustard plaster usually does the trick." "No, for Leslie." "She hurt herself skiing." "Oh, no!" "What happened?" "It's a long story." "Dick fell on her." "That's the short version." "You fell on Leslie?" "I didn't mean to." "It was an accident." "Well, that makes it a little better." "I'd better go get Dr. Adamson." "Wouldn't it be quicker to call him?" "Not on Wednesday." "He's out skiing." "In the meantime, I'll get some ice for your knee." "I have some aspirin in the study." "That will help the pain." "I guess I'll go upstairs to my room." "Fine, we'll meet you up there." "Watch your step, Dick!" "Well, since you're her ski coach, I thought you should know." "Well, apparently someone fell on her." "I don't know why they let people on the slopes when they don't know what they're doing, either." "I agree." "I think whoever did it should be reprimanded." "I don't know about prison." "I gotta go." "I'll keep you posted." "How is she?" "The doctor's still examining her." "I hope she's all right." "I feel rotten about this." "Well, of course you do, honey." "You did a terrible thing." "Do you ever think of cheerleading?" "Hey, she's not upset with you." "All she's really worried about is missing school." "I'm going to make this up to her." "Until she's back on her feet," "I'm going to go to all her classes and record all her lectures." "Well, before you do that, did you call her folks?" "I called them." "I called her faculty advisor." "I called her ski coach." "I think I've called everybody who would be affected by this, in any way." "Hi, guys!" "Leslie ready?" "I don't think I called Kirk." "I thought I'd be early, but finding yellow roses in winter took me a lot longer than I thought." "Where is she, upstairs?" "Yeah." "Kirk, there is something we have to tell you." "What?" "Well, I am going to tell this to you the quickest way I know how." "Finishing a book has always been a big deal to me." "Dick!" "Leslie won't be able to go out with you tonight." "What?" "She had an accident." "What?" "A skiing accident." "She hurt her leg." "What?" "She's upstairs with the doctor, and it looks like she's gonna be laid up for a few weeks." "What?" "It was my fault." "I was excited about finishing the book this morning, and I coaxed Leslie into teaching me how to ski." "And I slipped, and I fell on her." "And I am sorry and I hope you understand." "Oh, sure, I understand." "You were excited, you wanted something to do, you thought, "|'ve finished my book, let's see whose life I can ruin."" "Kirk, it wasn't like that." "Do you know how long I've waited for this?" "Do you know what I have gone through to get ready for tonight?" "We know, Kirk." "Just so I can come over and hear you say," ""Ha, ha, ha, ha." "She's not going out with you."" "Well, I guess I won't be needing these." "Thanks a lot, Dick." "You cou|d've taken them up to her room." "Thanks again!" "Oh, Doctor, how is she?" "She's fine." "If she keeps off her feet for the next few weeks, the knee should heal nicely." "Would one more night up and around hurt?" "Believe me, she'll get plenty of rest." "The main thing is, will this affect her skiing in any way?" "Well, no, it shouldn't." "Good." "Unless she wants to be a world-class skier or something." "That's what she's in training to be." "Really?" "Yes." "Well, in that case, I can't make any promises." "We'll just have to wait and see." "I'm sorry." "(SIGHSI" "Well, don't feel bad, Dick." "She still has her career as a maid." "Excuse me, is this the right room for" ""The Reformation Church and its effect on 16th century Roman Catholic doctrine"?" "That's the rumor." "Can I help you?" "If it isn't too much trouble, could you point out Professor Fasil when he arrives?" "She's arrived." "Oh." "I'm sorry." "I'm Dick Loudon and if it's okay," "I'd like to sit in for one of your students, Leslie Vanderkellen." "Where is she?" "She was hurt in a skiing accident." "Oh, no!" "Was it serious?" "We don't know yet." "Oh, no." "How'd it happen?" "It was my fault." "Look, if it's okay with you, I'll just sit off to the side and record the lecture." "I don't want to make a big deal out of this." "Well, this is just awful." "What's awful?" "Leslie's had a skiing accident." "Oh, no." "How did it happen?" "This man says that it was his fault." "Oh, yeah?" "Who are you?" "I'm Dick Loudon." "Leslie works for me." "What'd you do to her?" "I fell on her." "You fell on her?" "PROFESSOR FASIL:" "Fell on who?" "Leslie!" "What are you talking about?" "This guy fell on Leslie while she was skiing." "Oh, no!" "Is she all right?" "Is who all right?" "Leslie!" "What's wrong with her?" "She's had a skiing accident." "Who's had a skiing accident?" "Leslie!" "This guy fell on her." "Oh, no!" "Oh, no!" "Here are the reports you wanted." "Did you hear about Leslie?" "What about it?" "Let him tell you." "Look, I didn't want to make a big deal out of this." "Hey. what's going on?" "Maybe I'll tell this just one more time and we'll get it out of the way." "I forced Leslie into going skiing with me, and I don't know what I am doing, and being the clumsy idiot that I am, I fell on her and I sprained her leg" "and maybe ruined her whole life." "PROFESSOR FASIL:" "Well, I think we'd better all take our seats." "We do have work to do." "STUDENT:" "I don't think he should be allowed to stay in our class." "(STUDENTS MUTTERING)" "What a jerk." "All right." "All right." "Now, when we left each other last Thursday, we were discussing Pope Julius III and the Council of Trent." "What's this I just heard about Leslie?" "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" "Yes." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Just wanted to leave you a note." "So, how's your leg?" "Fine." "Really?" "Yeah, as long as I don't move or touch it." "I brought back your tape recorder." "Was it a good lecture?" "Yeah, the first part's a little choppy." "People kept coming in, wondering what I had done to you." "It's amazing how a whole class of theology students can be that unforgiving." "I'm sorry you had to go through that." "I'm sorry you had to go through this." "Oh, which reminds me..." "I brought you something." "What for?" "What for?" "Leslie, I fell on your leg." "I mean, I caused you a lot of pain and trouble." "And I may have ruined your whole skiing career." "I just..." "I just wanted to make it up to you." "So you bought me a box of chocolates?" "Somehow it seemed like a bigger gesture at the time." "Really, that's sweet." "I just wanted you to know how badly I feel." "I know you do, but I wish you'd stop it." "Dick, you and Joanna have been terrific to me." "You both really care about me, and I appreciate that." "I wish I'd cared about you enough to get somebody else to go skiing with me." "Dick, do you realize that up until now," "I've never had one thing wrong with me in my whole life?" "I've never been a gram overweight." "I've never had a cavity." "I've never even had a pimple." "Are you saying you had this coming?" "No!" "I'm saying, "Why me?"" "Well, I just wanted you to know I hope you get better because" "I'm planning on going to the Olympics and see you win that gold medal." "Why don't you get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow?" "okaV" "I brought you some coffee, honey." "I don't deserve any coffee." "Oh, you deserve this." "Dick, Leslie is doing fine." "The X-rays turned out negative, and Doctor Adamson's up there now, and he says it looks like she's not going to have any trouble." "I am not going to rest until she walks down those stairs." "Yeah, sure will be nice to have Leslie up and around again." "Smiling, laughing, making coffee." "Well, I guess I'll go up and see how they are doing." "By the way, did I tell you that I bought a new snow shovel?" "No, no, you didn't." "Yep, I am never going to lose this one." "I got it locked up in the cab of my truck." "Sounds like a safe place." "By the way, have you seen the keys to my truck?" "Well, I'll keep looking." "Hi, Dick." "Hi, Kirk." "I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't been around the last few days." "It's been nine days." "Actually, I've been around, I just haven't been around you." "I was mad." "That's what I figured." "It's an immediate reaction when someone mangles the thing you love." "But I've thought about it, and I am over it now." "Good." "No hard feelings?" "No hard feelings." "I'm not ready to shake your hand." "Oh, hi, Kirk." "I didn't know you were here, but I am glad." "I want you both to see something." "She's up?" "Ta-da!" "She's on crutches." "That's it!" "It's over!" "She'll never ski again." "Happy now, dream killer?" "Why is she on crutches?" "So she won't fall down." "You said she'd be on her feet again." "Dick, I'm fine." "DICK:" "You're not fine, you're a mess." "She's gonna be fine." "I'll only be on these for a week or so." "There is absolutely no permanent damage to her knee." "She will ski as well as ever." "You're not just saying that to make me feel better?" "Mr. Loudon, your feelings are of no concern to me." "My only concern is with her knee, and it's fine." "You really think you're the center of the universe, don't you, Dick?" "Leslie, I'll see you in my office in another week." "Bye, Doc." "Bye." "Thank you, Doc." "Yes, thank you for everything, Doctor." "My pleasure." "Now, you're sure you're all right?" "Now do you believe me?" "I can hug without pain." "Let me see." "Kirk!" "She's fine." "Fine?" "She's fantastic." "I can't breathe, Kirk." "Sorry." "(LESLIE EXHALES)" "Must feel really good to be back on your feet, or your foot again after all that time in bed." "It does." "If!" "don't hurry I won't make my 2:30 class." "Class?" "Don't you think you're rushing things a little?" "I can go to class for you." "No, thanks, Dick." "I want to start doing things on my own again." "How about my giving you a ride to school?" "You still haven't seen my new car." "Terrific!" "You're sure you're not just putting up a brave front?" "Stay out of this, Dick." "I want her in my car." "Really, you guys, I'm fine." "Believe me." "I had a minor setback but I came through." "Nothing's changed." "I am exactly the same person I was before." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "Now are you relieved?" "Are you kidding?" "I feel like celebrating." "What do you wanna do?" "Well, we're alone in the inn." "Why don't we go for it?" "Go for what?" "Let's clean the oven."