"Hello and welcome." "Tonight or today, if you're watching this in the day..." "Or this morning, if you just got up." "(STUTTERS) Or this morning." "I'd like to talk to you about the movies." "For hundreds of years now, the moviemakers have been transporting us to fantasy worlds of make-believe and dubiously priced popcorn." "Yes." "And the car has always been a central element in that magical, cinematic landscape." "I mean, think of all the great films you've ever seen." "Uh, all of the Bond films," "Thelma  Louise, Mad Max, Bullitt, Gone in 60 Seconds," "all of the Bond films." "The Dukes of Hazzard," "Hmm." "Driving Miss Daisy," "Vanishing Point, The French Connection," "all of the Bond films." "All of the Bond films." "The core of their greatness in each of these films is a car." "And over the next hour or so, on this brand new DVD released in the Yuletide gifting period, we're going to pay tribute to the car in cinema." "HAMMOND:" "We´ll be showing how to have a car chase against a flying villain," "There he is!" "There he is!" "He's ahead of us." "He is ahead." "(EXPLODING)" "How to build a Bond car on a budget." "(RADIO BUZZES)" "(LAUGHS)" "And we´ll be paying tribute" "Oh, the ambulance is out!" "to the unsung car heroes of cinema." "And I haven´t finished with this montage, yet." "(REWINDING)" "Because we´ll also be finding out which cars have the best engine noise for a movie soundtrack." "(GRUNTS)" "Ah!" "Which cars have the most screen presence." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "And what is the best machine for getting away from baddies." "(GRUNTING)" "(IN MIDDLE EASTERN ACCENT) For you, Mr Hammond, the DVD is over." "So sit back, grab a Kia-Ora and buckle up." "It's gonna be one hell of a ride!" "Buckle up?" "(ENGINE ROARING)" "HAMMOND:" "We begin in Wales, where I, Richard Hammond, shall demonstrate the art of advanced car chasing." "This is more complex than basic car chasing which is where you've just got one car chasing after another." "As an example of the advanced chase," "I give you the chase scene in The French Connection." "Obviously for financial reasons, I can't actually show you the film but I'm watching it now on DVD." "And the bit I'm talking about is 68 minutes in where Gene Hackman is chasing a train and he's just missed the pram!" "That, in essence, is advanced car chasing, hurtling down runways after planes, that sort of stuff." "Pitting the car against other things." "HAMMOND:" "We shall now try this ourselves." "And here is the car we will be using, a Skoda Fabia Super 2000 rally car." "Last season, this car dominated the championship, winning seven out of the 1 2 rallies and locking out the entire podium with a one, two, three on four of those occasions." "But while the car is clearly no slouch, is it any kind of match for the non-car thing we've got lined up for today?" "In fact, if I were the car" "I might possibly be weeing myself right now." "Because today it will be taking on Yves Rossy, the world´s first jet powered flying man." "Yves, I have many questions, starting with, what exactly is this thing?" "That's a wing and to push me in the air, four engines." "It's very simple." "HAMMOND:" "Four, four jets, yeah." "And you steer just with your moves of arms and legs and..." "So you haven't got, like, levers to control?" "Nothing." "The only thing is a little throttle that I have here." "That's the only thing that command." "Well, look, all the best." "Mmm-hmm." "I'll be on the ground." "Yeah." "Now, obviously, I could take the wheel of that thing myself, and show that Swiss cuckoo clock some real talent." "But under the Top Gear apprentice-driver training scheme," "I've agreed to let the guy behind me, Toni Gardemeister, cut his teeth on this one." "To be fair, he's pretty good already, Finnish Rally champion, many, many, world rally podiums to his name but still keen to get some tips from me." "So let's see how this race will work." "HAMMOND:" "This is the course the car will be racing around." "Eight miles of prime Welsh rally stage." "As the car sets off," "Yves will climb to 8,000 feet in a helicopter, jump out and then follow the course from above." "Now, Rocketman can travel with a steady 1 20-miles-an-hour and we can't." "But obviously, I could." "Though I'm not sure yet about, uh, our novice diver." "Anyway, you might think because of his cruising speed, we don't stand a chance here but, uh, there is more to it than that." "You see, at the end of the race, Yves has to land, which means he has to cut his engines, deploy his parachute and all sorts of technical Rocketman stuff has to happen." "So, trust me, we're in with a shout here." "(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)" "HAMMOND:" "Andalso, we´ll be busy covering precious miles whilst his chopper is still climbing to launch height." "Just, uh, just relax, Toni, I'll be here if you need me." "Obviously, Yves could cut a corner up there." "But don´t worry, we´ve thought of that." "We have positioned a farmer out there with an air rifle with strict orders to shoot him down if he sees any infringement." "That´s FIA rules all sorted." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "As the chopper lifted, the flag dropped." "(WHIRRING)" "(ENGINE ROARING)" "We´re off!" "Oh, oh!" "(ENGINE ROARING)" "Oh, my God!" "He´s quite confident." "Ye gods!" "(TONI OVER RADIO)" "Yeah, just as you are." "(PILOT OVER RADIO)" "We're absolutely monstering this course!" "(PILOT OVER RADIO)" "We´ve got 265 bhp down here." "Toni is using, I´d say, all of them." "Yeah!" "(ENGINE ROARING)" "However, as we pass the three-mile mark," "Yves was ready to jump." "He jumped!" "(WHIZZING)" "(ROARING)" "(WHIZZING)" "Well, he´s dropped." "I can´t see him out of the car." "But somewhere up there, he was following our course and closing the gap." "(SCREAMING)" "Hello." "Just concentrate on him." "As a new driver, you get giddy, you show-off and it goes wrong." "TONI:" "All right." "(WHIZZING)" "(ENGINE ROARING)" "Okay, Yves is hitting speeds of 1 20, 1 50-80-miles-an-hour." "It´s just, well, a lycra suit, a small crash helmet and a kitchen table on his back." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "(THUDS) -(HAMMOND GRUNTS)" "How the hell did I get mixed up in this?" "I mean, I´m just baggage now." "Within seconds, Yves had caught up." "(YVES OVER RADIO)" "There he is!" "There he is!" "He´s ahead of us." "He is ahead." "(THUDS)" "Ow!" "As Yves streaked into the lead, we still had just under four miles to go." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "(HAMMOND SCREAMING)" "In the air..." "Ow!" "Ye gods!" "(THUDS)" "(OVER RADIO)" "Right." "Okay." "Up ahead, Yves?" "journey was unfortunately almost done." "(YVES OVER RADIO)" "There he is." "There´s his parachute." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "TONI:" "We´ve got him." "Just take advantage while he´s slowing down to land and, um, we´ve got to give it everything we can." "HAMMOND:" "We´ve got about two minutes now." "Absolutely!" "This is gonna be so close!" "TONI: (OVER RADIO) Oh, my word!" "HAMMOND:" "There he is." "(TONI OVER RADIO)" "Behind the hill." "(TONI OVER RADIO)" "We are." "He´s behind the trees." "I don´t know if he´s got down yet." "We still have a chance here." "This is it." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "Where is he?" "Where is he?" "No!" "(ENGINE ROARING)" "(SOBBING) Oh, no!" "Think we lost, oh!" "Oh!" "Look at that." "YVES:" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Don´t blame yourself." "Aw!" "That´s the main thing, man." "Don´t blame yourself." "Oh!" "Okay." "You did a great job!" "Thanks, Richard, for the guiding." "I was happy." "Yeah, thank you." "All right, come on." "I´lljust sit here for a little bit now, just..." "TONI:" "You look a little bit down, now." "Yeah, uh, yeah, do you know..." "Just gonna sit here for a minute." "(BLEEP)" "HAMMOND:" "We now come to possibly one of the most important aspects of the car in cinema." "(CAR ENGINE ROARING ON TV)" "And that is quite simply, noise." "Now you may be familiar with the film, Bullitt." "Every petrol head in the known world is familiar with the car chase in Bullitt." "Probably the most famous car chase ever!" "(TYRES SCREECHES ON TV)" "Yeah, now for commercial reasons, we can't actually show you a clip but it's okay because Hammond and I are watching it right now." "Now, when that chase was shot," "Steve McQueen insisted that there should be no music over it, just the engine noise." "But then before the film came out, he got cold feet and he showed it to the famous producer, QuincyJones, and said," ""Have I got this wrong?"" "And QuincyJones said, "No." "No music."" "And that's how the greatest car chase of all time ended up how it did." "Yeah, that sort of brings us to the point of this section." "There is no music on this car chase because the engines of the cars themselves sounded so excellent." "So if you were to reshoot the famous Bullittcar chase today, using cars on sale today, which ones would you choose, eh?" "MAY:" "This is the shortlist we have assembled." "They may look and be exotic, fast, beautiful and expensive but they are here for one reason." "They all make an incredible noise." "(ENGINES ROARING)" "V1 2, V1 0, V8, straight-six, flat-six..." "All the best internal combustion instruments are gathered here." "(ENGINES ROARING)" "That's what our musicians sound like playing as an orchestra." "Now let's hear them playing solo." "Yeah, we'll take each car, one by one, and then whittle them down until we have the best sounding goodie car and the best sounding baddie car." "HAMMOND:" "And we begin with this." "The Aston Martin V1 2." "(ENGINE STARTING)" "(ROARING)" "(REVVING)" "(IMITATES ENGINE ROARING) That is a good effort." "Come on!" "Now, there is a 6-litre V1 2, 51 0 brake horsepower." "And for something as powering such a pedigree car, it does have a rather working class background." "It's actually two Mondeo V6s sort of welded together." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "(LAUGHS)" "HAMMOND:" "Right." "That´s the opening salvo fired by Britain." "Let´s see whatJames has got." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "Yes, it's another 6-litre V1 2." "But this time it is the work of the Ferrari opera company of Modena." "Here we go." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "And there it is." "Its huge bosoms heaving during its solo aria, the 599 GTB." "61 1 horsepower, a red line at 8,500." "(GRUNTS)" "Now Ferrari take this whole engine noise business very, very seriously." "They like to talk about the third and sixth harmonics, which are the nice ones in a V1 2 like this is." "Now, I tried to explain all this to Hammond and he threatened to kick my head in." "But in fact, Ferrari are being musicians at the most scientific and arithmetic level." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "It's all to do with the noble points of the frequency." "What it means is that there are certain points..." "HAMMOND:" "And thank you for that!" "Okay, we will stick with the Italians but lose James and a couple of cylinders because now we´re dropping down to the V1 0s." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Actually, it´s a v1 0, -(TYRES SQUEALING) because hardly anyone uses them these days." "And if there is to be only one, then it's only fitting that it should be the one in this." "The Lamborghini Gallardo LP 570-4 Performante." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "(SCREAMS)" "It's angry!" "It's spiteful." "This is not the sound of the cavalry coming to your rescue." "This is the sound of a whole host of monsters coming over the hill to kill you." "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "(ENGINE REVVING)" "MAY:" "And now, we´ve dropped two more cylinders." "But that´s not such a big loss -(TYRES SQUEALING) especially in this car." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "The magnificent Ferrari 458 Italia." "570 horsepower for a 4.5-litre V8." "That gives a 1 27 horsepower per litre which is actually a record for an non-turbocharged or supercharged engine." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "And it revs to 9,000." "(REVVING)" "It's a very brittle sound." "It's very harsh." "It's like the violinist has his fingers right up the fingerboard close to the bow, the high notes..." "HAMMOND:" "Oh, God!" "MAY:" "Now, it´s time to talk about one of the most famous movie cars of all time." "Yes, and we refer, of course, to the Aston Martin DB5 which James Bond drove in Goldfinger." "The first time, really, that we were introduced to this idea of a special spy car stuffed with gadgets." "Yeah, now, obviously for financial reasons, we can't actually show you the film but we're watching it now." "And if you've got it on DVD, the bit you're after is about 46 minutes in and James Bond is having a heck of a time in it in his car, firing people out of ejector seats and spilling oil all over the place." "It's tremendous stuff." "It is, yeah." "The thing is we've been doing some research into this." "And we reckon it's possible for you to actually have one of your own." "A lot more easily and cheaply than you might imagine." "(GUNSHOTS ON TV)" "Yes, the word "cheaply" has quite a bearing on what Hammond said just then." "Because if you actually do want your own Aston Martin DB5 like the one James Bond drove in Goldfinger, all stuffed with the latest spy gadgets, then, really, you're gonna have to forget the "Aston Martin DB5" bit of it." "Yeah." "But once you've accepted that, then the whole world of exotic and exciting automobiles opens up before you in the classifieds." "Stuff like this." "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "HAMMOND:" "This is a Range Rover which we picked up forjust ?" ",800." "Some ?" "97,000 less than what you´d pay for a classic DB5 today." "And it gets better." "Because you don't need the enormous resources of Q-Branch or Her Majesty´s government to equip your car with all the latest James Bond style spy gadgets." "We can show you how to do that for much less." "Absolutely." "And I shall now guide you through phase one of our Bond on a Budget Handy Hints." "HAMMOND:" "So let´s get straight down to business with armoured protection." "And forjust a few hundred pounds, I´ve come up with this." "(THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING)" "For a start, I've armoured the body here with a steel plate designed to withstand all small arms fire on the market." "(KNOCKING)" "And that includes protection to the wheels down there." "Just be careful on full lock." "Then to disguise the armour plating from prying eyes," "I've broken up the profile and changed the shape using these discreet sandbags." "Then we move on to glass protection." "Now, there are a lot of very expensive polycarbonates on the market, but for a lot less, you can do what I have done here." "Basically side windows bought from a scrap yard glued together with bathroom sealant." "And I'll vouch there is nothing in a terrorist arsenal that can get through that lot." "Now, one last important point on budget." "I have managed to save money in all sorts of places here and that's good but I really could only afford to armour one side." "So in a terrorist attack situation it's very important you remember, always try and get them to attack this side." "HAMMOND:" "Our Bond car will be tested by live weapons fire at this armoured car testing facility, deep in the heart of the Welsh countryside." "Okay, so the performance has suffered a bit and the handling." "And the visibility isn't brilliant, if I'm brutally honest." "But at least you'll get where you're going in one piece." "So long as they always shoot at this side here." "With the Bond car in place," "I decided to go for an extra tough armour test." "Now normally, here at this firing range, when they test armoured cars, they use 7.62 millimetre bullets like this one." "(GUN COCKING)" "But I'm not gonna bother with these." "I'm so confident in my armoured plating that I'm gonna up the stakes and ask the shooting guys to use these," ".50 calibre." "These things are the Manchester United of bullets." "They can travel at around 3000 feet per second and stop anything in their path." "But let's see if they´re any kind of a match for the Top GearJames Bond Range DB5 Rover." "(GUN COCKING)" "(GUNSHOTS)" "(METAL CLANKING)" "(SANDBAG BURSTING)" "(GUN COCKING)" "(SANDBAG BURSTING)" "(METAL CLANKING)" "(GUNSHOTS)" "(METAL CLATTERING)" "The car´s holding up quite well." "(BURSTING)" "The wall, not so." "(GUNSHOTS)" "Oh, God!" "(RUMBLING)" "Oh!" "I might have spoiled their range a bit." "(GUNSHOT)" "HAMMOND:" "My scrap yard glass system hadn´t fared too well either." "But on the plus side, the steel plate had held up nicely." "Now, let´s see if it starts." "(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)" "Obviously it's very important that you carry a face mask with you because following a terrorist attack there will be a lot of glass dust around in the car and that's nasty stuff." "And some big gloves as well." "Right, let's see." "(DEEP SIGH)" "(ENGINE STARTING)" "Oh, yeah!" "And the windscreen wipers!" "(CAR BEEPING) -'Cause this is..." "This is veryJames Bond indeed." "I don't know what that beep is." "Oh!" "I've got a bulb failure." "Never mind, let's go home." "(CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYING)" "HAMMOND:" "Now we come to a very important part of the cinema process, celebrating the works of the unsung hero." "You know how it goes." "They show the Oscars on telly and you see the awards for Best Actor and Best Film and then at the end, sort of in a rush, they say," "(IN A DEEP VOICE) "Oh, yeah, there's this man and this woman" ""and they did the wardrobe or something." "And they get an award as well."" "And their efforts just go unrecognised." "They never get a look in." "Don't take my word for it because I am privileged to be joined by E. T. Director Steven Spielberg." "Steven, you are a great one for making sure that the people behind the scenes get recognised." "Would you agree that their efforts often go unrewarded?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "And you see the thing is, it is exactly the same with cars." "HAMMOND:" "The star cars get all the attention and enjoy a nice life in a lovely museum." "But what about the backstage vehicles?" "The unsung heroes?" "Who cares about them?" "Well, we do." "And today we're gonna give them each their seven minutes of fame through the crucible of motorsport." "We´ve assembled a grid of movie location vehicles and now they´ll get the chance to be the stars of the show" "by taking part in a race." "(FLY BUZZING)" "So let's meet the nominees in the inaugural Top GearVehicles You Don't See in Films Very Often" "Because They´re Not Actually on Camera" "But That Doesn't Necessarily Mean They Should Just Be Forgotten Race." "The first aid ambulance for mending film stars when stunts go wrong." "(CAMERA CLICKS)" "The catering truck which tirelessly tours the film set bringing welcome food poisoning to weary cameramen." "(CAMERA CLICKS)" "The Portaloo delivery lorry which brings relief to those cameramen when the food poisoning takes hold and they need a poo." "The stretch limo which ferries the stars in discreet anonymity to and from the film set." "(CAMERA CLICKS)" "The luxurious Winnebago in which they can relax and throw tantrums in between saying things to a camera." "(CAMERA CLICKS)" "And last but not least, the special effects pyrotechnics van, without which all those explosive scenes in Die Hard or Lethal Weapon, wouldn't be that explosive." "So those are the vehicles and this is where they´ll be racing." "The Arena Raceway in Essex which was used recently as the location for the jaw dropping battle scenes in Avatar." "Now to do these machines justice, we need drivers who can extract the maximum performance from them whilst at the same time retaining the utmost respect for each vehicle and indeed what it stands for." "That's why we've gone for these chaps." "Touring car legend, Tom Chilton." "Touring car legend, Gordon Sheddon." "Touring car legend, Matt Neal." "Touring car legend, Anthony Reid." "Touring car legend, MatJackson." "And while these mature and sensible drivers settled into their vehicles," "I took charge of the pyrotechnics van." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "Now all of the vehicles on the grid are rear-wheel drive, apart from the ambulance, that's front." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "I'm not sure if that has any bearing on anything today, really." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "I should just say, this whole event is very much a tribute to all of these vehicles." "So I have, as ever, issued instructions that there is to be absolutely no contact, whatsoever." "Especially with my fully laden explosives truck." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "Three." "Two." "One." "(ENGINES ROARING)" "Action!" "Yes, we are off!" "Oh!" "Look at it, all of them, stars in their own rights." "Wow!" "That things has got legs!" "Shutting the door on me. (LAUGHS)" "Who'd have thought the motor home would be a tactical player." "Sadly, predictably, the touring car drivers quickly forgot about my no contact rule." "(METAL CLANKING)" "(GLASS SMASHING)" "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "(GLASS SHATTERING)" "(THUDS)" "That's..." "Ah!" "(LAUGHS)" "Oh, my God!" "Where's the limo..." "(THUDDING) -(SCREAMS)Tony, my van is full of bombs!" "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "Yeah, it's pretty intense." "They play pretty hard when they´re finally given the chance to do so." "Toilets!" "(THUDDING)" "(AMBULANCE SIREN BLARING)" "The ambulance is..." "Oh, no!" "The limo!" "He's just a lunatic." "(BRAKES SCREECHING)" "(BOTTLES CLINKING)" "Oh!" "There are lavatories everywhere now!" "(METAL SCREECHING)" "(GLASS SHATTERING)" "Three laps in and we had our first casualty." "(METAL CLANKING)" "Oh, God!" "I think the motor home has retired hurt." "Yeah, oh, no!" "Don't!" "(THUDS) -(SCREAMS) I'm full of explosives!" "Oh, God!" "Something's fallen out." "Oh!" "(SCREAMS)" "This is becoming more and more..." "Oh!" "(BRAKES SCREECHING)" "Big back slap from the catering truck." "(CHAIN RATTLING)" "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "Oh!" "The toilet truck has spun out completely." "But despite the increasing carnage," "(TYRE SCREECHES) -a clear winner was not yet emerging." "So it was with great reluctance that I instructed the drivers to turn-up the wick." "(SCREAMING) Oh, no!" "I'm being sandwiched!" "(CRASHING)" "Oh!" "Oh, it's full of explosives!" "We'll all be killed!" "(THUDDING)" "(CRASHING)" "Oh!" "Big scrap between the limousine and the catering truck there." "(TYRES SQUEALING)" "(THUDDING)" "(GLASS SHATTERING)" "Hey, they´re having fun." "They don't get to very often." "(AMBULANCE SIREN BLARING)" "(WHOOSHING)" "(AMBULANCE SIREN BLARING)" "(SIREN STOPS)" "Oh!" "The ambulance is out." "We're whittling down the unsung heroes now." "Now, it was a three way sprint between the pyro van, the lavatory van and in the lead, the loony limo." "(SCREAMS)" "It was all looking good for the limo on the final lap, until the lavatory truck took revenge." "(THUDS)" "(CLANKING)" "(THUDDING)" "(BRAKES SCREECHING)" "Yes, the limo is out. (LAUGHS)" "And then in the closing second, the pyrotechnics truck took the lead." "It's gonna have its moment." "I am gonna win!" "(LAUGHS)" "(LAUGHING) Oh, yeah!" "That is a win for the pyrotechnics van, and I for one, am delighted for it." "Oh, God!" "MAY:" "Now back to ourJames Bond Aston Range Martin Rover." "And while Hammond has been away testing its armour protection," "I have been working on something altogether more highbrow." "This is the Aston Martin Vanquish, the one used by Pierce Brosnan in his final Bond film, Die Another Day ." "In that film," "Q gave the car one of his most impressive gadgets of all, body panels that could make the car invisible." "Now, you might think that was just a director´s flight of fancy, a sort of licence to do what you like." "But I'm not so sure, you see." "I think using skills we have at the Top Geartechnology centre," "I could make our car disappear." "Just as soon as Hammond makes it reappear here on the set." "And in fact, here he is now." "(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)" "Hello." "(GRUNTS) Hello." "How did it go then?" "Yeah, do you know, very well." "Really?" "Yes." "Is it bullet-proof?" "Largely, yes." "Anyway, can you hand it over 'cause I wanna go and try out my invisibility idea?" "What?" "Invisibility?" "Yeah, make it disappear." "Disappearing car." "Yeah, mate, you're getting this mixed up with Harry Potter and that thing the Klingons do, cloaking." "We're talking about real world stuff here." "MAY:" "I can see that." "HAMMOND:" "James insisted it would work and soon he was ready for a demonstration." "It could be driving out now." "It could be parked behind me and you would..." "Oh, no, there it is now." "Yeah." "(BEEPING)" "What?" "What's that on the side?" "Well, this is..." "This is embarrassing." "James!" "Behold if you will, the invisible Bond car." "Well, that's the problem." "I am beholding it quite plainly." "It's not activated yet." "Come over." "Come and see how it works." "Oh, what..." "Oh, really." "Really?" "Well, I can see everything." "That's the problem." "Oh, no, I just, oh, bumped into it!" "I didn't see it." "Come on." "Right, look." "On the other side of the Bond car" "are televisions." "Yes." "An array of big televisions." "Right." "On this side, this is the clever bit." "This is a camera, okay, which is pointing out there and set to see what you'd see, looking if the car wasn't there." "And then that picture is displayed on the telly so that from that side, the car isn't there." "I get the theory." "No, it's good, it's brilliant." "Go and stand over there." "I'll turn the camera on" "and the car will disappear." "Okay." "Okay." "I'm ready to be amazed." "Are you ready?" "Yes, I'm ready." "MAY:" "Disappeared!" "(CAMERA CLICKS ON)" "(LAUGHING)" "Yeah, well, I wouldn't guess it." "What do you think of it?" "I wouldn't guess that you were a spy, I'll grant you that." "Oh, hang on." "That's wrong." "Oh, yes, evidently!" "MAY:" "Hold on." "It's still there." "I can see the..." "The test card's gone but you're still there, mate, clearly." "(BUZZING)" "(LAUGHS)" "No!" "It's gone." "If you're standing in the right place, yeah, and if you line it up." "If it was parked amongst a massive crowd of electronic scoreboards and I was hideously drunk, for a moment I might not realise this is a car with some televisions stuck to it." "Look, it's a prototype." "It needs a bit of refinement." "But, come on, as an idea?" "It's..." "Does it work when it's moving or is it only stationary?" "Well, of course it works when it's moving." "I'm not Tracey Emin." "Go on now." "Let's see it on the move." "Right." "(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)" "I'm coming now, in case you can't see me." "That's brilliant, mate." "I can't see you at all!" "That might be because I'm behind the trees." "Here I come now." "Can you see me?" "I bet you can't." "(GENERATOR WHIRRING)" "Oh, James, I mean, it is sort of working." "You're kind of invisible-ish." "The only thing is I can see the trailer that you're pulling." "Oh, the thing about the trailer is that's the generator because the televisions actually zap quite a lot of juice." "HAMMOND:" "Well, you need televisions to cover the trailer then." "MAY: (OVER RADIO) Yeah, I need to, that exactly." "I need to make the trailer invisible as well." "Yes, so what you're going to need then is another trailer to power those tellies" "The thing could end up hundreds of miles long." "MAY:" "Listen, it´s early days." "Stop picking faults and just look and marvel at how you can't see the car." "Now I'm gonna get on with my ejector seat." "HAMMOND:" "But before I do that," "James and I must complete our quest to find the best engine noise." "Yeah, now, if you bought a pirate copy of this DVD from a dodgy market stall and the first half is just a lot of fuzzy white snow stuff, then here's what's happening." "The car chase in Bullitt, arguably the greatest car chase ever committed to film, has no music on it, just great engine noises." "So, what cars on sale today, make the best engine noise for a car chase?" "We've already tried a V1 2 Ferrari and a V1 2 Aston, a V1 0 Lambo, a V8 Ferrari and now we continue with the V8's with this... (ENGINE ROARING)" "HAMMOND:" "This is the Jaguar XKR-S." "With 550 horses, it´s the most powerful production car Jaguar have ever made." "That's not the noise a goodie makes." "It's not a symphony, that is just a mugging in a backstreet." "On my eardrums." "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "Mind you, there's something very motorsport-y about it." "With that little hint of super charger, that makes it honest." "It´s not what you would see a baddie pulling up in outside his casino." "MAY:" "But you might find him pulling up in this." "The V8 powered" "Mercedes CLS 63 AMG." "And it's a prowling car." "I'll explain what I mean." "In Bullitt, before the car chase proper starts, the cars prowl around there, sniffing each other out around the backstreets and they make this sinister rumble." "Here it is." "Just having a look." "Just seeing if I fancy a bit of a scrap." "Then when it decides it does want a bit of trouble... (REVVING LOUDLY)" "(EXCLAIMING)" "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "See, AMG are very good at this." "They, like Ferrari, take the business of sound very seriously, but, they´re after a different effect." "It's not the operatic histrionics, they want that grumble, that grunt from the big bloke who never says much down the pub." "That concludes the V8s and now the 6s." "Starting with the Flat 6 of the Porsche 91 1 GT3 RS." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "Oh, listen to that!" "Four litre, 493 brake horse power." "Naturally aspirated Flat 6." "Now, as you may know, I championed this car on our trip across the States and I do like a Porsche." "So, yeah, there is bias here." "This is a result of decades of honing and tweaking and perfecting and I love that!" "MAY:" "I asked for a Straight-6 to be included in the line up." "But I never expected to get this." "This is the very rare, very expensive, ?" "00,000, very beautiful Eagle E-Type Speedster." "It also makes an excellent noise." "(ENGINE ROARING)" "Very mechanical." "And then listen when I change." "(ENGINE RUMBLING)" "Hop, hop, hop." "Yeah!" "Absolutely glorious." "But it's still an old school noise." "And for that reason I think, this must be a goodie car." "I just can't see an evil villain with the word Von in his name driving this." "MAY:" "Right, that completes our look at the front runners." "It´s now time to start whittling them down." "I think there's just too much salt in the 599." "I think you're thinking of MasterChef, this is more..." "I don't know what to do with this." "This is more like The XFactor." "Yeah?" "Erm, yeah." "HAMMOND:" "Our discussion was intense and when edited down, actually quite nonsensical." "It's a psychopath." "Yeah?" "I mean it could just..." "It's a sort of Radio 4 nod... (IMITAING CAR ENGINE)" "The detective sits there and contemplates how his wife doesn't understand him." "Pouncing, you know when Kato jumps out of the fridge?" "HAMMOND:" "Eventually we whittled the list down to four." "Mechanical noise from the Porsche, good." "Frantic noise from the Lambo, excellent." "Sophisticated and variable noise from the Aston, good." "Lovely mechanical noise from the Straight-6." "That would have to be..." "Does it sound good to us 'cause we're nostalgic maybe?" "Yeah, and is that affecting our judgement of it..." "It is." "Would it be a baddie's car?" "No." "The Porsche noise is as old really as the Straight-6 noise." "It's very distinctive." "So, we've got a V1 2 and V1 0." "I'm sort of inclined to get rid of the Aston..." "You might regret that because of the valves which I know were a bit artificial." "Well, we've done it, we have a decision." "The phone lines are now closed." "I don't think we had any phone lines." "No." "No, we didn't." "Well, if we had had phone lines and they´d been open, they would now be closed and we have a decision." "Yes, we do." "The best baddie car, with the best engine noise is, for its fractiousness and its psychopathic nature, the Lamborghini Gallardo LP 570-4 Perfomante." "Yeah!" "And the car with the best noise for a goodie, with its honest, mechanical rattle, honed over the decades from its Flat 6 is the Porsche GT3 RS." "Yeah, you see!" "The purity to the noise of this, it could only ever have been the goodie." "Oh, yeah, I think we've got this absolutely right." "This car sounds a bit nasty." "Isn't it funny how the cars have made the appropriate noises actually look right, that Lambo looks villainous." "(IN MIDDLE EASTERN ACCENT) For you, Mr Hammond, the DVD is over." "MAY:" "And now it´s time to revisit a classicTop Gear failure." "I realise of course, that doesn't narrow it down very much." "So, here's a quick reminder of a film we made a couple of seasons ago, when we tried to replicate the famous car barrel roll from the Bond film, The Man with the Golden Gun." "And can I apologise for the hare, then and now." "MAY:" "In this film we instructed Top Gear´s stuntman to leave the comfort of his luxury home and use this MG Maestro to re-enact the famous Man with the Golden Gun roll." "Following my many complex calculations, a huge pair of ramps were constructed." "AndTop Gear stuntman was briefed, by me, about the exact approach speed." "MAY:" "That's excellent, I think we've got it." "He then set off down the runway and into the history books." "Straight into the chapter marked total failure." "And just to show you how bad that failure was, let´s see it again from several gratuitous angles." "So, there you are, the trickiest car stunt in the known movie universe." "And why it's the trickiest car stunt in the known movie universe." "However, Top Gearstuntman is made of sterner stuff." "And he's also, I'm afraid, quite stupid." "So, when we said, "Could you do that again?" He said "Yes, I could."" "This time we gave him a white Maestro, and I don´t know, but it seemed to make all the difference." "Yes!" "He´s done it!" "And as we watch it again from several celebratory angles it just remains for me to say, "Take that, Roger Moore!"" "HAMMOND:" "But now we must return to our track and do some more good work for cinema loving petrol heads." "What I want to explore through a mixture of philosophical discussion and burning rubber is this, if certain movies and TV shows of the past were to be remade today for the very first time, what cars would they feature from the stuff being made today?" "So, let's audition a few on our tarmac casting couch." "And to get the ball rolling, we'll start with Bullitt." "As we all know in the original film" "steve McQueen drove a 1 968 Ford Mustang." "And if that film were updated for the 2 1 st century," "I believe he would drive, a Mustang." "But only this one." "The BOSS 302." "Because this is Mustang royalty." "Or whatever the equivalent is in America of royalty." "It's a Mustang." "It's a presidential Must..." "That doesn't sound right." "The original BOSS 302 was a special version built for Trans-Am racing." "And now that the name has been resurrected, it can´t just be used for anything." "So, quite rightly this is the fastest Mustang ever." "Five litre V8, producing 444 brake horse power." "0 to 60 in about four seconds." "It's also ridiculously cheap." "?" "5,000." "For this sum, Detective Bullitt would have got a car with 1 9 inch wheels, quite a shout-y body kit, a stiffened up suspension and most important of all, this." "This is the key." "Slot this device in here, turn it and you can start the car and drive it away." "But, if you go for the ultra hard Laguna Seca version, you get a second key, this one." "This is the track day key." "Use this one and it alters 200 engine management parameters." "It's like a redneck's Veyron." "So," "just listening to make sure all 200 changes have happened." "I mean, how would you know?" "Now, in the originalBullitt film, the Mustang was tested to the limit in a legendary car chase against a Dodge Charger." "So, we should really have a bit of a chase here too." "Let's make this thing put its money where its mouth is." "But not against a Charger, we'll put it up against one of" "Top Gear´sfavourite muscle cars." "The latest version of the Vauxhall VXR8." "(WHOOPING)" "The Vauxhall's got a bigger engine, 6.2 litre V8, but then it is 200 kilograms heavier than the BOSS." "He's all over me." "I can't..." "This is the best handling of the modern Mustangs I've ever driven but then there was quite a lot of room for improvement." "I meant that." "I meant that to happen that then." "That's what I wanted to do." "HAMMOND:" "Come on!" "Once the Vauxhall was ahead, it stayed ahead." "Well, I think by science and due consideration we have come to the only conclusion we can which is that, the VXR8 is faster." "So if Bullitwere remade today," "Steve McQueen would be driving a Vauxhall." "That doesn't sound right." "I wouldn't watch that." "So, let us put this sadness behind us and move quickly on to one of the most famous cars in telly history." "Yes, it is KITT, the amazing, indestructible talking car from Knight Rider." "Now the original was based on a Pontiac Trans-Am, butif Knight Riderwere to be remade today," "I think we could do a bit better than that." "Say hello to Richard Hammondhoff." "And the 2 1 st century Knight Ridercar, the brand new Arash AF-1 0." "Unlike the Pontiac Trans-Am original, the Arash is British." "The original KITT also had flame throwers and a thing that could throw bombs, and it could talk, this can't do any of those things yet." "But, I mean, come on, it's already got a whole lot more screen presence than that shonky old Trans-Am." "I mean, look at it!" "The credits are gonna look great!" "The original Knight Rider car could travel at 300 miles an hour as well, and this can´t do that either." "However, it is fast." "0 to 60 in 3.4 seconds." "Top speed about 204 miles an hour." "Courtesy of a 7 litre V8." "(SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT)" "Oh!" "It's like being inside an explosion." "(EXCLAIMING)" "That's ferocious!" "Hasselhoff´s gonna have to learn to shout." "MAY:" "We now return to our secret spy car testing centre." "Where work continues with our Bond car on a budget." "And now we come to really the Bond signature gadget dish, the ejector seat." "To recap, in the film Goldfinger, the villain is sitting in the passenger seat of Bond's DB5 with a gun levelled at Bond's head." "And Bond presses a thing somewhere, the roof opens, the seat flies out and the villain is just ejected into oblivion." "Well, now, I have fitted this car with a similar device." "Achieved for an awful lot less than the original ejector seat cost." "So, James, are you ready for this?" "No." "Do you think a baddie is going to nonchalantly climb into this seat when it says on it quite clearly, "Pull to eject."" "You see, that's a cunning double bluff because they´ll think, "That can't be an ejector seat," ""it says ejector seat on it!" But, in actual fact, it is." "All right, so we need a demonstration," "I've arranged for a Bond type villain to get in, so if you'd like to..." "See, look, Jaws." "Jaws-ish." "MAY:" "Laurel and Hardy." "Yes, maybe." "In you get." "Yeah, you see you're gonna be the villain." "Don't pull that lever yet, okay." "Erm..." "He's gonna say that's another fine ejector seat you got me into." "Quite possibly." "So, if we're ready let's get the button and retreat." "Perhaps a bit further." "A bit further maybe." "Bit further." "Okay, now don't worry this is just a test so when I hit this button there's a tiny charge, the roof will fly off, and your chair will pop up six inches." "Something like that, you'll be safe." "Erm, right, here we go!" "(MAN SCREAMING)" "Oh!" "Yeah, he's..." "The roof was supposed to come off." "I would have guessed that." "Yeah." "I don't think it's gone well." "Is he all right?" "I think he might be cross." "Hmm." "Time to return to the issue of the car chase and in particular, one very important aspect." "Handling." "And the point is very well illustrated in The Bourne Identity," "I'm watching it now." "Obviously for financial reasons I can't show you the actual film, but if you have the DVD, the point we're after is about 53 minutes in, where young Jason Bourne might only be a in a knackered old Mini" "but he's still making a right minky out of the baddies chasing him." "And that is simply because of the car´s superb handling." "So, the question is, "If you were to find yourself being pursued by some sort" ""of shady, covert organisation, what is the best car to be in?"" "Well, let´s not muck about with a long shortlist." "Let´s just deal with two of the best handling on the market." "One of which has to be this." "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "The Porsche Cayman R." "This car pops up in a Top Geartest of a BMW 1 M earlier this year." "But only in a drag race and that's a shame because logic dictates this should be a car with a grade A in handlingonmics." "For starters, it´s based on a car that already corners superbly." "And this R version is 55kgs lighter than any Cayman to date." "It costs ?" "1 ,000 basic." "But add in sports exhaust, ceramic brakes, Xenon headlamps and you could get up to ?" "0,000." "And the air conditioning is gone in the interest of lightness which means, if you do manage to evade the baddies, your pits might be a bit whiffy." "But, in this car however, you´ll stay mountain dew fresh." "This is a fully air conditioned BMW 1 M that set Jeremy´s trousers on fire in the last series." "In his view there's no fripperies here it's just four seats and four wheels, all wrapped up in distilled essence of empire brilliance." "Like the Cayman R, it´ll do 0 to 60 in just under five seconds." "But, where as the Porsche has a 3.4 litre flat 6, this has a 3 litre, twin turbo, Straight-6." "So, what we have here then, are two evenly matched prizefighting driving machines." "Now it's our job to find out which car is best at keeping you alive in a car chase against some truly bad people." "This is the location we will be using." "An airfield with long straights, run offs to dive down and buildings to dart in between." "Perfect for representing the ever changing scenarios of a high speed pursuit." "And now, the baddies." "There are quite a lot of them." "As well as some rather handy looking Honda Motocross bikes." "There´s a 51 0 BHP Jaguar XKR, a military grade QT Wildcat" "a 1 5 tonne tank and a Robinson R44 Helicopter." "Each of these machines will have awesome paint ball firing capabilities." "It's my job to take each car and evade all of this lot for three minutes." "At the end of that time the car with the least number of paint ball hits will be deemed the best handling." "It's simple, it's clear." "It's actually the way they test handling at the Porsche and BMW factories." "First, I´ll take the BMW." "Hit the M button to sharpen up the throttle response and I think traction control off in case we need to slide out of harm's way." "(SIRENS WAILING)" "(PAINT BALL GUNS FIRING)" "No!" "They´re firing, snipers on the roof." "There are bikes behind me." "Incoming!" "Ah!" "Ooh, straight to the windscreen, that would have been fatal." "Twin turbos of course, the perfect engine for a chase situation." "All the power you need, all the time." "So, you don't just drift this car around like a yob in a car park, you slide and you're still moving." "It's so controllable." "Even for a numpty like me." "(SCREAMING)" "Really good windscreen washing, which surprisingly turns out to be a useful feature in a chase situation." "Trouble here." "I have a Wildcat now, that's a worry." "Look at the size of that gun on top of the Wildcat." "Incoming!" "Very quickly realise, this has some life saving handling ability." "It really is a proper point and squirt little thing." "Great, that's coming in." "Try and drive through the woods." "Ambush!" "Ambush!" "Whoa!" "A lot of hits there, a lot of hits there." "It might be 300 kilograms heavier than the Porsche but it really can control that so effectively." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Finally, after three torturous minutes the siren wailed and the test was over." "Well, the final score for the BMW, it failed to evade 67 hits." "Now it was time for the Porsche to run the gauntlet." "Let's see how we do." "Charge!" "I mean, let the testing begin." "(GUNS FIRING)" "Jinking left and right down the alley way of death." "Straight away you can feel that 300 kilograms difference." "No way can a bike keep up with that." "Oh!" "Big hit!" "Windscreen washer´s nowhere near as good as the BM's, I can't see a thing!" "Oh!" "Sounds good." "Not that that's any help in this particular situation." "Woah!" "You can change direction in this thing like you're in a car too." "It really is phenomenally gripping." "But get it wrong and it´s not as forgiving as the BM." "Come on!" "The air conditioning would be quite nice now it's getting hot in here." "There's the Wildcat!" "Oh!" "Right up my chuff!" "That's got a very big gun on it." "Taken a lot of hits from him, that's not nice." "Ah, missed." "You didn't miss." "No, neither did that, that was a hit." "It's just a hail of bullets, the helicopter is very, very low." "Oh, hang on, there is the siren." "There it goes." "It was time to tot up the scores on the doors and probably because of my spin, the Porsche sustains 79 hits." "1 2 more than the BMW." "Which means that, and I'm surprised by this verdict." "If you need to run the gauntlet of baddies, the best handling car for that very specific task is the BMW 1 M." "HAMMOND:" "Back once more to our casting couch." "And now I must find the perfect modern day car." "That´s assuming he doesn´t want our Range Rover forJames Bond." "Now Bond is as we all know most associated with Astons." "In fact he was still driving one, a DBS in the last film." "But, what if Astons didn't exist?" "What would we put Bond in then?" "Well, he´d want something that looked instantly British obviously." "Which is why my first suggestion would be," "German." "Specifically this, the Wiesmann MF5." "Let me explain my logic." "The Wiesmann actually looks more British than all the British cars." "That's because, the German chaps who make it, the Wiesmann brothers, are so in love with old Jensens and Healeys that they sort of see them through rose tinted spectacles." "So this is shaped with real passion." "Then there is the question of exclusivity." "And that's important because Bond is, how should I put it, a bit of a snob probably doesn't shop at TK Maxx." "He wants something handmade and exclusive, which this is." "?" "44000, hand built and it's built by German hands." "So it won't let him down." "And because it´s made of fibreglass and doesn´t weigh much it´s perfect for gunning up the hairpins of the Alps." "It's composed, it's powerful, it's got control of itself, it kind of is Bond." "Bond also likes and needs on occasion, massive speed and Wiesmann delivers here too." "Don't be fooled by all these retro looks because moving this thing around is one of the most modern engines in existence." "BMW´s twin turbo V8." "But if speed is Bond´s primary concern, then perhaps he should look at this." "The Noble M600." "This car in maximum power mode has a better power to weight ratio than a Bugatti Veyron." "I say maximum power mode because check out this James Bond style gizmo down here." "In road, you have 450 brake horse power, switch it into track and it adjusts the boost on the turbos and you get 550." "Put it in race, 650 brake horse power." "Oh, my God!" "1 20, 1 30." "1 50, oh, God, I mean, it just keeps on going." "In max power mode, this thing will do 225." "I think that should be enough really." "Admittedly it doesn´t have the English heritage feel of the Wiesmann, and you do get some Ford switchgear, which is a bit of an ask for a car costing around ?" "00,000." "But there is one aspect that would let Bond forgive it anything." "And that is that it's absolutely built for purpose." "And that purpose is testing your skills and nerve right up to the limit." "I mean, it's bloody scary but utterly wonderful." "(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)" "There's absolutely nothing to back you up, let you relax." "You are absolutely on your own." "There's no air bags, no stability control, no ABS even." "Bond would like this." "It will remind him of skiing in front of an avalanche with his nose being bitten by a crab." "MAY:" "It´s now time to pay our final visit to the tower of technological magnificence that is our Bond car on a budget." "And here it is in all its ?" ",800 glory." "And to it we have added full armour protection." "On one side." "On one side, yes." "An excellent invisibility cloak and a very powerful ejector seat, twinned with a surprisingly strong roof." "Thanks you James, for that summary." "Now, all of those devices are what you might call defensive weapons, but the fact is a moment comes in any secret agent's daily work when they must turn around and fight back." "So, here we are driving along, being pursued by some baddies." "And you can always spot them in a Christmas DVD such as this one, because they´ll be driving very cheap second hand cars." "Rovers and Mondeos generally." "That way we don't waste too much money when they come to a sticky end." "Here he comes now." "Is it a Rover?" "Yeah, Rover." "Now, in his mind he's gonna be thinking he's in for a nice day´s work." "Yeah, maybe shoot our tyres out or spray us with machine gun fire" "that sort of thing." "But, not today, because... (EXCLAIMS)" "(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)" "Go on then, say it, as long as I can do the next one." "Shall I?" "All right then." "He got a pretty warm reception." "Loving your work there, Agent Hammond." "Thank you." "Hang on a minute, Agent Hammond," "I can see from my monitor that there's another one on our tail." "Mondeo." "Yes, it is." "Figured." "He's holding back, you see, because he thinks that way he'll avoid our flame thrower, but that's not gonna help him." "'Cause I'm going to deploy our guided missile." "And launch!" "Steering to target." "Oh, nice work!" "Yes!" "Ooh, hang on." "It's not stopping." "That's gotta hurt." "All right, go on then." "That guy is on a bit of a roll." "Nice work, Agent May." "Thanks, Agent Hammond." "And the threat of world domination ends there." "(BEEPING) Oh, actually I wouldn't be too hasty" "here comes another one." "Oh, where?" "Oh, look, is it a Saab?" "It is a Saab." "Sophisticated for a villain." "Do you think he's a graphic designer with ambitions to end all humanity?" "An architect that's turned bad." "Either way not a problem for us today because if I press this oil slick dispensing device here... (WHIRRING)" "Now he's a slippery customer." "Nice!" "I'll finish him up with a bit of flame thrower as well just to show him we mean business." "There you go, eat that!" "I'm not sure you should do that actually." "We're frying tonight!" "Not oil and flames together!" "He's really on the skids." "I wouldn't do oil and flame thrower at the same time." "Oh!" "Oh, you're right, that's..." "Oh!" "Oh, cock!" "And that brings us to the end of our feature presentation." "Oh, God!" "We hope that you've learned lots whilst watching this DVD." "But, we do have to say if you have learned lots from this DVD, that's, that's actually quite worrying." "Yeah, if you've learned lots you should really think about being a bit cleverer." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "And now from a time when people wore a tie to go to the cinema, the National Anthem." "(BRITISH ANTHEM PLAYS)"