"Bless you, Father, for coming on such short notice." "But I don't think Mrs. Malinoff has too much longer, and I know she would want to see a priest." "Of course, she would probably want to see a Russian Orthodox priest." "But there just aren't any in the neighbourhood anymore." "She's certainly lucky to have you for a neighbour." "Well, she and I have been friends for 40 years, ever since she first came over from Germany." "I thought you said she was from Russia." "She was indeed." "But when the Nazis first invaded Russia in the Great War, they bundled her and half the village off to work as slave labour." "She had a little baby boy that she managed to send off to neighbours." "But she never saw the little fellow again or her husband either." "It broke her heart, losing that little boy." "She never got over it." "Well, maybe she'll find some peace at last." "I'll go see if she's awake." "Father." "She's awake now." "Thank you very much." "Father, she's not too lucid, poor thing." "She thinks you're an angel." " Oh, does she?" " Aye." "She does that." "She says she's been laying there praying for some angel to come and grant her one wish before she dies." "And she's convinced you're it." "Well, thank you for telling me that." "Oh, Father." "I know it would be stretching the rules and all, but maybe just this once, could you forget you're a priest and be her angel, just sort of play along?" "Don't you worry, Rosamay." "What did you just call me?" "Rosamay." "Why, no one ever called me that in my life, except my late husband." "I know." "Excuse me." "Hello, Maria." "I'm Jonathan." "I knew you would come." "I knew it." "You had faith." "I know there is a plan." "I have never understood it, but I know there is a plan." "That things happen the way they do for a reason." "I have never questioned that." "But if I could see him, once again on this Earth," "if I could just know he was all right." "If I could know what kind of a man he grew to be." "And if I could just tell him..." "Tell him what?" "That I love him." "That I have never stopped loving him." "He should know that." "Even now." "Even now as a grown man he should know that." "Yes, he should." "I have never been able to give him anything." "I would like to be able to give him this." "Before I die," "I want him to know that no matter what has happened to him in this life," "no matter what kind of man he grew to be, he has a mama and she loves him." "Can you help me, Jonathan?" "Help me give him this gift?" "I'll try, Maria." "I'll try." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Mrs. Murphy?" " Oh, how is she?" " She's resting now." "Did she...?" "Did she say she thought you were some kind of an angel?" " Yes, she did." " And did she ask you to grant her one kind of last wish?" " Yes, she did." " Oh, my." "The poor thing." " What are you gonna do?" " Do my best to grant her wish." " What?" " I have to go now." "Goodbye, Mrs. Murphy." " Father." " Yes?" "How did you know my husband called me Rosamay?" "No one knew that but me." "He told me." "Just the other day." "I think we bit off more than we can chew this time." "I think you're gonna have to go all the way to the premier of Russia, to spring this woman's kid." "Well, that's what we'll do." "What do you mean "we"?" "I don't want to go to Russia." "It's cold over there." "Well, maybe we won't have to go quite that far." "And in the news tonight, Andrei Karpovich," "Deputy premier of the Soviet Union, has just landed at Andrews Air Force Base." "After consultations at the Soviet Embassy," "Karpovich and his entourage will head for the latest round of summit talks with the president, to be held in a secret location." "As soon as we get to a freeway entrance, head east." "Where are we going?" "To the secret location." "Get out of the car with your hands on your heads." "This is a restricted area." "What are you doing here?" " Ask him." " I asked you." " What will I tell him?" " Tell him the truth." "It better be the truth." " The truth?" " The truth." "Tell him the truth." "Okay." "He's an angel." "All right." "Let them through." "Let's go." "I don't believe it." "What kind of security you call that?" "All I do is tell him you're an angel, right?" "And it's open sesame." "I don't believe it." " That was the password." " What?" ""He's an angel." That was the password." "You should have told me sooner." "I could have saved a pair of shorts." "Keep the sauces light, you understand?" "You just run the staff, Mrs. Butler, and let me take care of the sauces." "I've cooked for heads of state before." "And I'm a chef, not a politician." "Now listen here, you petty pip-squeak." "These instructions are coming from the secretary himself." "Deputy premier Karpovich has a delicate stomach." "If he gets indigestion from your sauces, then he gets in a bad mood, and then arms control go right out the window." "So if you want to avoid World War III, you just keep those sauces light!" " Mrs. Butler?" " Yes." "I'm Jonathan Smith." "This is Mark Gordon." "We were told to report to you." "Smith and Gordon." "Well, thank heavens you've arrived." "You're a real godsend." "Ain't it the truth?" "It was very good of the White House to put the two of you on loan to us." "Your duties here will be much the same as what you're used to." "Nothing to be nervous about." "You're just glorified room-service waiters." "Sounds simple enough." "You'll find your clothes in the locker room." "And of course, I'm sure I don't have to remind you that whatever political opinions you have, you'll keep to yourselves." "Oh, the Russkies will love us." "The Russkies?" "He's kidding, right?" "Tell me he's kidding." "In fact, don't tell me." "If he's not kidding, I don't want to know." "Follow me." "Admiral, my job is to advise the president and the secretary." "And my advice in this negotiation is going to be very simple." "Four words:" "Don't trust the Russians." " Hey, now you're talking." " Mark." "The world is just as dangerous for them as it is for us." "We may both have to learn to trust each other in order to survive." " What a crock." " Hey, will you be quiet?" "No, let him talk." "Never thought I would live to see the day when a waiter made more sense than a Navy admiral." " Look, I didn't mean to" " I never thought I would see the day when the two most powerful nations on Earth would put their fate in the hands of computers instead of human beings." "That's exactly what we're headed for if we don't watch out." "Ask your newfound expert how he feels about that." " How do you feel about that?" " What, me?" "No, look, I" "What do you ask him for?" "He's just a waiter." "That's right, see, I'm just a waiter." "According to you, he makes more sense than a Navy admiral." "He didn't mean that." "He was mouthing off." " What?" " Excuse us." "Mark, we have a lot of work to take care of." "I just don't want to see us get in a kind of situation where we are so scared of what the Russians are up to that we keep on building weapons and delivery systems that could blow us off the face of the Earth by mistake." " What are you suggesting?" " Just close it, all right?" "that the Russians get so far ahead of us, that they can win the nuclear war?" "How dare you impugn my honour?" "Mark, let me ask you something." "Have you ever considered a career in diplomacy?" " No." " Good, keep it that way." "Wait a minute." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I didn't do anything." "We're here to solve one little assignment, for one sweet little old lady." "We are not here to decide the fate of the world." "Well, maybe you're not." "Because you're dead." "I still live on this planet." "You know, when I was in school, if there was a fight, the teacher would step in and break it up." "When I was a cop, I did the same thing." "Why can't the boss come down here and put an end to this?" "Why can't he put an end to all war?" "Because he's not a cop, that's why." "He's God, and he created people with choices to make, with decisions." "And the free will to make those decisions." "Right." "I make the wrong choice, I screw up my life, right?" "But if those guys make the wrong decision, it's adiós to everybody." "Boy, I hope those guys are smart." "Excellent, excellent." "Bring in the food and set it up on the table, please." "Excuse me." "No, my dear Popov, you don't have to speak Russian in front of him." "He is probably a CIA agent anyway, and if not," "I'm sure this room is bugged." "So we'll help them out a little bit." "There's only one way to deal with the Americans, and that is with a firm hand." "You can tell your boss I said that." "I think my boss already knows how you feel, sir." "You see." "He admits that the room is bugged." "I like this one." "At least he's honest." "Mr. Deputy Premier, do you mind if I ask you something?" "Something your boss wishes to pass on?" "Yeah, in a way." "You see, I" "Sir, all I" "Yes." "Yes, thank you waiter." "Two eggs will be fine." "Yes, please." "Sir, all I want" "Come, come, come." "Now we can talk." "They can't hear us with the water on." "I must tell you, I'm very pleasantly surprised." "I like the way your boss works." "Now, what is he willing to offer?" "For our part, the question of intermediate range missiles" "Missiles?" "Sir, this doesn't have anything to do with missiles." "Then what are we doing talking in the bathroom?" "You wanted to." "Because I thought your boss wanted to strike a deal." "No, no, this has nothing to do with a deal." "It has to do with a Russian woman, who had to leave her child behind when she left the Soviet Union." " Oh, the human rights issue again." " Yeah, I suppose you could call it that." "Parasites, do you hear me?" "All those people who left the Soviet Union are social parasites, and those they left behind are very happy in the U.S.S.R." "Okay, that was for the record." "Now then." "We are willing to consider letting this woman's boy come to the United States, if you will cut down on your land-based missiles." "Mr. Deputy Premier, I already told you, it has nothing to do with missiles." "Computer chips?" "That's what's involved?" "No." "Love." "Love, that's what's involved." "Excuse me, I can't hear you with the water on." " I thought you said love." " I did." "I said love." "You see, sir, I'm not really a waiter." "Surprise, surprise." "Of course you're not a waiter." "Why would I be talking with a waiter in a bathtub?" "I'm an angel, sir." "I know you're an agent." "I didn't say" " Do you mind?" "There, that's better." "I didn't say agent." "I said, I'm..." "I'm an angel." "What kind of an angel?" " The kind that's sent by the Almighty." " The almighty what?" "Not the "almighty what." The Almighty God." "Hello, CIA?" "This is Karpovich speaking." "Your man is a cuckoo." "One of your agents has unscrewed his lid." "Flipped, the expression is "flipped your lid."" "Look over there." "Popov!" "Popov!" "Get Colonel Androvsky and all our security people over here now." " Yes, deputy premier." " Quick." "Red Fox to Red Fox Leader." "Three KGB men just went running into Karpovich's cottage." "Over." " As I told you, comrade." " He must have gotten out the window." "But, comrade, there isn't any window." "Secret doors." "Big deal!" "Oh, thank you." "Kemosabe, how did it go?" "Not too well." "Unfortunately, he thinks I'm with the CIA." "The CIA?" "Would you hold it down?" "We're not alone in here, you know." "The CIA?" "How did that happen?" "I said I was an angel, he thought I said agent." "It was an honest mistake, it could have happened to anybody." "So, what do we do now?" "I have to get him away from here so I can talk to him." "Reason with him." "It's just no good here." "Here he's surrounded by bodyguards and advisers." "Besides, he thinks the whole place is bugged." "Everything from the flowerpots to the soap." "I'm gonna have to get him away, that's all." "That's all?" "You are talking about kidnapping the deputy premier of the Soviet Union." "It is not kidnapping." "It's..." "It's like borrowing." "Sort of." "It's kidnapping!" "Mr. Deputy Premier, we had hoped to be able to iron out at least some minor issues, before you meet with our president tomorrow." "That was our hope as well, Mr. Undersecretary." "What we hope to achieve is an agreement to take meaningful steps toward arms reductions." " And not just propaganda." " Propaganda?" "We have already proposed to remove certain of our land-based missiles." "Yes, those missiles you were already phasing out because they're outdated." "What about the missiles that you have deployed in Europe?" "The Soviet Union will not be bullied around by your government into a position of weakness that will endanger our national security." "Mr. Deputy Premier, may I say, all our security is threatened by the very weapons that are being deployed by both sides." "Then just stop deploying your weapons." "You first." "No, you first." "No, you first." " Why should we be first?" " Can you believe these guys?" "They're like a bunch of snotty kids." "You think that I trust you?" "With your crazy psychological warfare?" "And sending me crazy CIA men?" "And putting secret doors in my bathroom?" "I..." "I beg your pardon?" "Too late for begging, my dear admiral." "We are wasting our time." "We will wait until we can meet with your boss, as you call him." "Come on." "Good night, gentlemen." " Good night." " Good night." "How do you deal with someone like that?" "I mean, the man's a fruitcake." "Jonathan, maybe you better leave well enough alone." "I mean, you are playing with a guy who could push the button." "I mean, the button." "Hey I know that, but he's our assignment." "We take him tonight." "Hi." " Popov." "Popov." " He can't hear you." "Stay where you are." "Popov." " Popov." " Hey, will you take it easy?" "I just want to talk to you about the woman and the child." "If your government wants to negotiate human rights, put that on the table and we'll negotiate it." "But don't come" "I don't want to negotiate." "Look, I just want to talk." "Stay where you are, you can talk from there." "We can't talk here." "So we'll go in the bathroom." "I'll run the water." "That's what I mean." "Here you think everything's bugged." "Here you're the deputy premier of the Soviet Union." "I don't want to talk to him." "I just want to talk to Andrei Karpovich." "The man, the human being." "You sound like Barbara Walters." "Get to the point." "Look, I think you better change your clothes." "You're gonna feel out of place going where we're going in your pyjamas." "Where do you think we are going?" "I know where we're going." "Right on the other side of this door." "You mean I can open it now?" "That's right." "If you let me finish telling you about the old woman." "Sure, comrade angel." "We'll sit down and have a cosy chat." "Popov!" "Hey" "Pop off yourself, Mac." "Told you, you should have changed." "I brought your coat." "Very good." "Very good, comrade." "I salute you." "I don't know how you did it, but it's good." "You can tell your boss he deserves more credit than I gave him." "I'm sure he'll be very happy to hear that." "Stop beating on the walls." "There's no secret panels." " I'm not with the CIA." " Oh, sure." "You're the tooth fairy." "I'm an angel." "Same difference." "Here's your coat." "Let's go." "Very good." "Very good." "Very convincing." "I salute you all, but you won't break me." "Andrei, shut up and sit down." "You know, you're really starting to get on my nerves." "Jonathan's right up front with you." "Tells you who he is, you still don't believe him." "I believe in CIA, not heaven." " You know, that is really sick." " Must have been the coffee." "You put drops in it and now I'm having a hallucination." "I can accept that." "One bowl of Manny's famous firehouse chilli." "Guaranteed to unclog your plumbing." "You ordered food at a time like this?" "Well, I got hungry waiting for you guys." " You two fellows want anything?" " Smells good." "I'll try it." "I thought you had a delicate stomach." "Look, this is my hallucination, not yours." "Okay." "How about you?" "He's an angel, remember, why would he want chilli?" "You guys are getting sloppy." "What is this guy, some kind of nut?" "Thinks he's the deputy premier of Russia, and that we kidnapped him." "Right." "Andrei, I brought you here to talk to you about that woman and her child." "The one I told you about, who had to leave her son behind when she left Russia." "She's an old woman now, she's dying." "All she wants is a chance to see the boy." " So." " So?" "What do you mean "so"?" "How can you creeps do that?" "How can you treat people like that?" "Look, this is a hallucination, so I'll speak frankly with you." "These people are bargaining chips." "We want something from you, we give you some of them." "It's politics." "Look, I'm not talking about politics." "I'm talking about people." "I'm talking about a woman who didn't get a chance to raise her own son." "About a boy who didn't get a chance to know his own mother." "You think that your country invented motherhood?" "Of course it means something." "But there are certain things that have to be sacrificed for the common good for the state." "Come on, Jonathan, this guy's never gonna help us." "Of course not." "Why should I help?" "Besides, we let the Jews go, then everybody else will want to leave also." "What makes you think this woman and her child are Jewish?" " I just assumed." " Well, they're not." "So what?" "We have trouble with Christians too." "I can't help you." "You're gonna have to be the one to tell her, I haven't got the heart." "Oh, really, Jonathan." "You disappoint me." "You're going to bring out this hysterical old woman, and you think that I'll break down and cry crocodile tears." "Your boss made too many sentimental movies." " Figures, let's get out of here." " No, Jonathan, wait." " What for?" " Let him eat his chilli." "Please." "For the gipper." " Father?" " Yes, Mrs. Murphy." "May we come in?" "Of course." "She's been calling for you." " Why are you dressed like that?" " It's a long story." "I'll tell you later." "I would like you to meet a friend of mine, this is Mark Gordon." " Hi." " How do you do?" "And as hard as it is to believe, the gentleman standing over there is His Excellency Andrei Karpovich, the deputy premier of the U.S.S.R." "Indeed." "In his pyjamas and overcoat?" " Let me smell your breath, Father." " What is the meaning of this?" "I said, what is the meaning of this?" "Of what?" "You smile and you talk about human rights and say you just want to talk." "And then you try a trick like this." "I don't know what you're talking about." "I'm talking about this." "This picture of my mother." "I just can't believe that's a picture of your mother." "Are you sure?" "As if you did not know." "Andrei, I didn't, I swear it." "Not until this moment." "You are lying." "My mother was killed by the Nazis." "As were the people she left me with." "Finally, a woman, an officer's wife, found me, took me in, gave me their name." "So this is another one of your tricks." "Your mother was not killed." "She was sent as a forced labourer to Germany." "That's where she was liberated by the Americans." " No." " Just listen to me." "She came to the United States and she tried to find you." "Your government wouldn't cooperate." "It was like you said, politics." "No, this is a trick." "Whatever it is you want from me, you will not get it this way." "Andrei, this is not a trick." "You're not my assignment." "You never were." "She is." "All she wants is to see her son once before she dies." "It's a trick." "This is a hallucination." "It's not a hallucination and you know it." "I was drugged and kidnapped, and now you will bring some woman who will pose as my mother to get secrets from me." "Oh, I know how these things work!" "You don't know how anything works." "Nothing important, anyway." "Look, nobody in this room cares about any secrets that you might have." "And to be honest with you, I really don't care about you." "You're not the important person here." "She is." "You won't break me." "I will play your game." "And I will win." "I will unmask her." "I will break her." "The only thing you'll break is that woman's heart if you go in there and act like the pompous ass that you are." "There are no games here." "There are no tricks here." "There are no politics in this room." "There's just your mother." "How very touching." "How very angelic." "And I thought we were good at psychological warfare." "We are nothing compared to you." "But you see, it doesn't work on me." "I will see her." "Come." "Take me to your impostor." "It will be my pleasure." "No, Father, or whoever you are." "That woman is the dearest soul on Earth." "I won't let you take that man in to torture her or to try to break her." "She's been through enough already." "He won't break her, Mrs. Murphy." "Don't underestimate me." "Don't underestimate your mother." "She'll be all right." " Jonathan?" " Maria, I'm here." "Did you find him?" "Yes." "Where?" "Where is he?" "He's here." "But he doesn't think you're really his mother, Maria." "He's a very, very powerful man now, and he thinks this is all some kind of a trick." "Do you understand?" "Bring him." "Bring him." "Let me see him, please." "Closer, please." "There." "Now you see me, madam." "Am I your son?" "I don't know." "It's been so long." "Come closer, please." "This is even better than I thought." "She isn't sure." "She wants me off balance." "Oh, please, I can't see well." "Come closer." " Let me take your hand." " This is close enough." "What's the matter?" "Are you afraid?" "I don't know." "Jonathan, I don't know." "Come, madam, I expected better than this." "Some proof, something." "Oh, Jonathan, please help me." "The only picture I have in my mind of my son is of a little boy crying when I had to leave him." "How can I tell if this is my heart?" "Enough of this charade." "She is not my mother." "Why are you so upset if I am not your mother?" "Why?" "When my son was a little boy," "I would call him my heart." "And once, when he was bullying another child, trying to take away a doll," "I slapped him." "And he didn't even cry." "He just stood there like a little Cossack." "He said, "I hate you, you are not my mother." "And I am not your heart."" "And later, he came to me with tears in his eyes and said," ""Mama, please." "Mama, forgive me." "Please take me back in your heart."" "Thank you, Jonathan, for giving me back my son." "Don't cry," "Andrushka." "Don't cry." "You..." "You..." "You..." "You are my heart." "Jonathan, how much longer is he gonna be in there?" "Not much longer." "We got to get him back." "I mean, he meets with the president today." "They find out he's missing..." "Don't worry." "He won't be missing." " We were invited into Afghanistan." " Invited." "Like the little boy with the doll." "He invited you because he wanted you to take it away from him." "This is not little boys and babushka dolls." "We're a nation, and I'm a leader, and we have to watch for our national interest." "Like Hungary," "Czechoslovakia," "Poland?" "So many invitations you get, Andrushka." "And what about your country?" "How many nations have we invaded since World War II?" " Grenada?" " We were invited." " So were we." " Don't argue with your mother." "So many times I wished I could talk with you like this." "So many times when I was little." "I used to whisper to my pillow pretending it was you and Papa." "Oh, he loved you very much, Andrushka." "He would be so proud if you would do something that would make a real difference." "You have the power." "I exercise the power, but I don't have it." "There's a difference." "It's like the monkey that rides the tiger's back in the circus." "After all he's still a monkey." "Not you." "Not my son, not Andrushka." "No monkey, no." "Mama." "I can take you back to Russia." "I can get you the best doctors." "No." "I am where I belong." "And you, you are where you belong." "That was the plan." "Andrushka, my heart." "My son." "My son." "Andrushka, my son." "No." "Not yet." "Not yet." "Not yet." "She is gone." "If only I had known about this sooner, I could have done something." "She wouldn't have had to live like this." "She would have had doctors." "In the Soviet Union, we would not have let her end like this." "Where are your social programmes?" "Why can't you help older people better than you do?" "When all the money goes to buy weapons to keep up with you guys, sometimes there's not enough left to take care of our own." "Mark." "I'm sorry about his mother." "Ask a question, I answer." "She spoke of a plan, I don't know what she meant." "She told me the same thing." "She didn't know why she wasn't allowed to raise her son, but that she had faith there was a plan." "Faith?" "What good did it do her?" "Maybe that's up to you." "Well, they're late." "As usual, Mr. President." "It's the oldest trick in the book." "You sit around and wait." "We better have them send in some more coffee." "This is already cold." "Popov, what do you think of what I've just told you?" "I don't know." "But, Popov, we have known each other for 30 years." "I wouldn't have told this to anyone else." "I would say it must be most unwise for the deputy premier of the Soviet Union to have a mother in United States of America." "Much less to have consorted with an angel." "I see." "Well, of course, it was only a hallucination." "Let's go meet their boss." "I hope you've given some thought to what we discussed the other day." "Of course we have." "When you are ready to reduce the number of your land-based, medium-range missiles, we shall be ready doing the same." "Us?" "What about you?" "Mr. President, could I say something?" "Mark." "Do you always allow your servants to take part in discussions of state?" "Just pour the coffee and leave." "I'm sorry, Mr. President, Mr. Deputy Premier," "I don't know what to say." "No, no." "Let him say what he has to say." "I would like to hear the voice of a typical American." "Thank you." "Mr. President, sir," "I have been a big fan of yours ever since you were driving the mule train." "I gotta tell you something." "I wouldn't trust these guys any further than I can throw Fort Knox." "I think that is quite enough." "Please, let him finish." "I gotta tell you something, sir." "I'm just as scared of what could happen by accident, as I am by what could happen on purpose." "I think you guys, I mean, their leaders and you, you owe it to our two people to get together and try to find some way so that we don't get adiósed by mistake." "I mean, you're our leaders." "We can't do it." "You're the only ones who can." "Well, that's all I've got to say." "Thank you." "Now then, where were we?" "No, no politics as usual, Popov." "No more monkeys." "Mr. President, you and I are the two most powerful people in the history of the world." "We have the power to make children orphans and mothers childless." "Surely, we must have the power to do what he just said." "It won't be easy." "There will be many opposed." "Both in your camp and mine." "But as one of your great Americans once said," ""Even the greatest journey must start with one single step."" "I am ready to take that first tentative, frightening step if you are." "Mr. Karpovich, if you meant what you said, you just made my day." "And the word from the summit today is that the president and Deputy Premier Karpovich met for several hours after their scheduled talks, in what was described as a fireside chat." "Though no particulars are known as yet, the very fact that the two leaders met face to face for what was characterised as a frank and open exchange of views, is seen as a positive step."