"Fuck!" "Hell!" "But they never got to see me crying." "I took care of that when they pressed my head under water." "Hey!" "Dag, wake up." "You can't sleep here." " Says you?" " Shouldn't you be at work?" "Probably." "The day just started too fast." "Or yesterday ended weirdly." "Do you need any help?" " You can't go on like this." " I've just been partying." "With whom?" "Me, and..." "You don't need that many to party." "If you don't get it yourself, then I'll say it." "You need help." "You need to dry out." "You don't know who you are anymore." "I'm not sure I want to know." "You know that great guy with the quick mind?" "The guy who cares about everyone even when he denies it." " He's not here anymore." " No." "Sounds like he's cured." "Come on." "It's no big deal." "I know a guy who runs a place." "Go there, and you can rest up." " I have to get to work." " That's not a good idea." "Aren't you on holiday with Mia?" "It's Thursday." "I came home a week ago." "Time flies." "You know, it's hard to help you   if you're not interested in helping yourself." "What did you do next, Brogard?" "Well, I kissed her." "On the lip, then?" "Yeah." " Did you like it?" " Yes, I did." "Did you sleep together the first night?" "To be honest, I can't remember." "Could we talk about what you were wearing?" "What we were wearing?" " I guess I had..." " Hold on, hold on." "Hold that thought." "There." "Continue." " Your clothes." " Yes, I guess I had..." "I'm sorry." "That was 18 years ago, and we're really here   because we're on the verge of divorce." "No wonder." "In the beginning of the book..." "Oh, sorry." "What the hell." "This is my office." " We'll continue this later." " Great!" "Wonderful!" "We'll bill you by mail." "Thanks, and goodbye." "Nice of you to drop in." " Where have you been?" " None of your business." "You're my boss." "This is a place of work." "When you're not here, I have to tell the clients something." "If anyone asks, where have you been?" "On the can." "Here." "No thanks." "You know how I get when I drink alone." "And I'll drink anyway." "Come on." "Next couple is at 2PM, right?" "We'll be fine." " Do it." "Try and hit me." " No, I say." "Come on." "Hit me." "I know you want to." " Stop it." " What kind of accent is that?" " Cone on, damn it." " That's enough." "Fuck!" "Is this enough?" "Let go of me." "Let go!" " Fuck it, Geir." "I'm bleeding." " No, you're not." " You're not bleeding." " This is awesome." "Don't stop now." "Keep it up." "Malin, get them a drink." "They're losing steam." "Dag." "Hi, Benediktus." "Hullo!" "I'm thinking of entering them in the art biennale." ""Darwin's Nightmare"." "Great title!" " Step out here?" " Great title." " Getting out of hand, isn't it?" " No, not really..." "I'm just having some fun with them." "I didn't force them to drink or fight." "I'm merely facilitating." "Then man's true nature comes out." "Anything important?" "Surprisingly, they're paying for this." "You called me." " I did?" " Yes, a couple of hours ago." " Are you sure?" " I'm quite sure." "In any case, I have to show you something in my car." "I think your yesterday was harder on you than expected." "You remember this one?" " Fuck, Benedikt." " It's your dick." " Mine?" " Yes." "Why do you have a photo of my dick on your email?" "Your entirely erected dick." "And the text. "We miss you." You and your dick?" "Shit." "I don't remember this." "Check it out." "You sent it to Trine at 02.17." "Surprisingly early, by the way." "And then you did this." "You cc'd your entire address book." "Everyone." "You've sent it to everybody." "Have you checked your email?" "I'm guessing, among others, that you've got mail from your sister." "Oh, fuck me..." "Oh fuck." "Oh, this is fucked." "Oh, fucked." "I'm fucked." "No, you're sick." "You're sick, and you need help." " But will it help?" " What you're doing now   isn't working all that well." "The least you can do is try." "Besides, you need some artillery   to defend yourself after this email incident." "Rehab justifies your stupidity, conduct, madness,   and this horrible image." "It says you're working on it." "As long as you're trying, people will forgive anything." "Best case scenario, you'll be well." "So let's do it." "I've packed everything you need for the coming weeks." " The office?" " I'll take care of it." "Just focus now, Dag." "Get well." " They know I'm coming?" " Yeah, I called him just now." " Him?" " I know a guy who runs a place." " Who?" " My stepdad." " Your stepdad?" " You didn't know?" "Until your wedding, I didn't know you had a dad." " Never mind a stepdad." " I've told you about him!" " About my growing up?" " No." "Does it explain your life?" "No." "But he's really good at what he does." " He's just a bit different." " As in...?" "There are two memories that stand out for me." "Two memories of growing up." "That's how you remember your stepdad?" "Yes." "That, and prostitutes." "What are you talking about?" "I hit puberty at 7." "I kid you not." "I sat int the car outside a shopping mall." "I used to fall asleep in the car, so my mom would leave me   while she went shopping." "From far away, I can hear a car door opening." "And I'm jerking off in my sleep." "7 years old." " 7?" " Yeah." "At ten, I was as tall as I am now." "Hairy chest." "Full package." "I turned 13." "He knew I was hyper-hormonal,   and I'm sure he wanted to get it done in a civilized way." "What do you think?" "Fuck the cake, Benedikt." "Fuck the cake." "You first." "You associate your stepdad with cow tipping and whores?" "That's the man you think can help me?" "Yes, he's good at what he does, I'm telling you." "He's insane!" "Sit here." "Sit, sit." "Benedikt!" "Come to daddy." "It's good to see you." "This must be Dag." "Ernst." "Or daddy." "Your call." "Hi, Ernst." "You look remarkably well for a drunk." "Don't mind me being direct." "We call a spade a spade around here." "It's always nice when people can say their own name." "Will you take him down to 512?" "It works on the minibar too." "A friend of Benedikt is a friend of mine." "Drunk or not." "See you, then." " You know this place?" " I worked here as a teenager." "He's lived out here for decades, like Colonel Kurtz." " When did you last see him?" " Christmas two years ago." "Sarpsborg." "His treat." "I ended up with a MILF, with her husband pounding on m door." "Ernst stood outside, and comforted him." "As he said, the key card works on the minibar, too." "There's no alcohol, but everything is expensive." "Ernst thinks that if you pay for everything,   is eases the guilt of not taking care of yourself." "It justifies the stay for the patient." "And allows them to hold on to some dignity." "There you are." "The first night can be rough, but there's a call button by the bed." "If you call, a nurse will come." "That'll be 50 bucks." "OK?" "See ya." "Good luck." " Are you OK back there?" " Not quite, no." " Are you going to Oslo?" " No, way out in the boondocks." " Just drive." "I'll guide you." " No problem." "If your card is valid." "If it's not, that's a problem." "Welcome to a new and improved you." "Your emotional improvement is now in our hands." "Your well-being is in yours." "You'll find a full range of water, tea, and cleansing herbs in the minibar." "Check out the bathroom." "There's cleansing and lotion." "Everything is controlled by light." "It gets added to your bill when you lift it." "Welcome to the first day of your new life." " You're a wreck." " I've been better." "It's only because you follow norms." "I try to look at life as a psychedelic drug." "If you drop LSD, and try to resist the effects of it,   it turns into a nightmare." "But if you go with the flow of the drug,   it can be spectacular." "Some thing with life." "If you fight your own personality, life will be a nightmare." "You know fuck-all about my personality." "I'm particular." "What is it you do that makes you so fucking happy?" "I sleep with everyone I want and who wants it." "I love myself as often as I can." "Eat when I want to, drink when I want to, and travel when I get restless." "Work when I have to." "I don't deny myself anything." "There's nothing of value in what you're saying." "Have you asked yourself where these values come from?" "Were you born with them?" "No." "You were born with very different values." "Eat, be well, procreate." "Then society indoctrinates you, and say your values are wrong." "Your problem, Dag, is that you think you have time." "Non of us have time." "You have to live life as if you're dying from a disease." "What do you want me to do?" "Sleep with everyone?" "Absolutely not." "That's not your personality." "No, and what's that?" "You're one of these gatherers who wants everyone to know   that they can come to you and be cared for." "And then you hide this behind a veneer of misanthropy." "You feel your best when you can take care of others." "You're a romantic." "What ails you is that nobody needs you anymore." "That's not a solution." "That's a problem." "Maybe so, but there is just one solution." "You have to learn to live with the fact that we've all been tricked." "Either you go home, lock your door, and isolate yourself,   which in your case isn't really working,   or you go out and try to find someone   just as hopeless on the outside as yourself." "You know the water goes on your bill?"