"[orchestral music]" "[train hooting]" "[bell tolling]" "The weather bureau says there's no sign of rain." "And they don't know when there'll be any." "Do you realize how much money I've got tied up out there?" "(Parker) '2500 acres of peas.'" "And look at them withering up under the hot sun." "I've only got 300 acres." "But it means more to me than that does to you." "If I don't get a crop, I lose everything I've got." "Oh, dad." " Can I speak to you a moment?" " Why, certainly, son." " Excuse me, gentlemen." " Yes." "I got the estimate from the construction company." " $32,400." " Hm." "[clearing throat]" "$50,000." "I'm going into town." "I'll see you later." "Mm-hmm." "[people chattering]" "Parker, somebody was telling me the other day about an idea you had for bringing in water." "[clears throat]" "(Parker) 'Oh, o-oh." "That was just an idea.'" "I don't know, I.." "'What was it?" "'" "Well, I thought, maybe we might build a flume to bring water down from Willow Lake." "That would cost a lot of money, wouldn't it?" "Well, yes, it would." "But my son brought me a report from the construction company." "It would cost in the neighborhood of say over little more than $50,000." "[whistling]" "You know, if we could each put in, say, 5000 apiece." "Well, where would I get $5000?" "Or me?" "I've already borrowed the limit from the bank." "Me too." "Can't expect the banker to carry us around anymore." "Anybody but Henry Spencer would've clamped down long ago." "Ah, yes, of course." "I suppose we must trust to providence." "[all sigh]" "Now, supposing, I put up the money to build that flume?" " Would you do that?" " Would you really?" "Well, I might arrange it, we could make a deal whereby, you pay me for the water you use." "We could pay you right after harvest." " Certainly, we would." " Of course, of course." "But if I invested that much money" "I would have to have some sort of security." "Say a note or a lien on your property or something like that." "Just a little matter of business, you understand?" "You think you can get the water here in time to save our crops?" "Oh, yes, I'm quite sure I could." "If enough of the farmers would agree to use the water" "I could start work on the project right away." "[excited murmuring]" " 'Suits me.' - 'I agree.'" " 'How 'bout you boys?" "' - 'Yes, sir.'" "'You can have a lien on my property.'" "Orville Parker, if you don't leave me alone, I'm going..." "What's the matter, gorgeous?" "Nothing wrong with that check, is there?" "There's certainly nothing wrong with your nerve." "Come out from behind that temper, you're not kidding." "Listen, I'm supposed to be working." "If you haven't any business, I wish you'd leave me alone." "But I have business here." "I came to arrange a loan." "Oh!" "I wanna borrow your company for this evening." "Father makes all loans here." "I'll call him." "Never mind, I'll drop by your house at 8:30." "That'll be fine." "I'm going out at 8." "That's no way to run a bank." "Chasing our depositors out." "You chased him out, daddy, but you didn't know it." "Anyway, he's just a fresh egotistical pest." "Well, try to overlook it." "After all, we can't offend our depositors." "We've too much money loaned out to lose even one account." "Particularly, one like Parkers'." "Have you the total on those notes?" "Yes." "Here it is, daddy." "If only we could collect some of 'em." "We can't expect to collect when the farmers haven't any money." "But if they get a rain to save their crops, they'll be alright." "And if they don't?" "If they don't, well.." "I hate to think what it would mean." "Bankruptcy, probably.." "For all of us." "Dad." "You mean it's as bad as that?" " I'm afraid so, unless.." " Unless what?" "I hadn't meant to tell you, but I've been in communication with a man who claims he can make it rain." "You mean a rainmaker?" "Oh." "Why not?" "It's our only hope." "Anyway, I've sent for him." "Here." "Look at this." "His wire said he'd be here as soon as he finished a job somewhere in the Middle West." "In Guber County." "[wind howling]" "Get out and stay out." "So, this is the rain you were gonna bring." "[angry mumbling]" "Whoa-o!" "[knocking on door]" "Hey!" "Anybody home?" "What's the.." "Don't shoot there, partner." "Don't shoot." "I'm harmless." "I just use this to keep the dust out." "Then you oughta hang it across your front door." "What you got down there?" "A cyclone cellar." "You better come on down." "Why should I go down there for a cyclone?" "I got a dandy one going on up here." "You better come on down." "Wait, I'll fix a ladder." "Hey..." "Pff-pff-pff." "There's an awful draft up here." "Yeah, I'll shut the door." "Whoa-o!" "Too bad about your house." "Oh, that's all right." "The roof leaked anyway." "Nice, cozy little place you got down here." "Yeah." "It'll do until it blows over." "Blows over?" "Is this liable to go too?" "Oh." "You're safe enough down here." "Anyway, this dust storm's about finished." "It's gonna rain in a few minutes." " Yeah, what gave you that idea?" " Didn't you hear?" "Roscoe, the Rainmaker and his machine are over at the County Fairgrounds right now." "Well, if he is, I'm leading a double life." "I am Roscoe, and this is the machine." "You are?" "Well, why didn't you make it rain?" "They didn't give me a chance." "I had my machine set up and ready to go when along comes this dust storm." "They blamed it on me." "Ran me out of town." "Gee, I'm sorry." " What you gonna do now?" " I don't know." "I'm disgusted." "Here I am, a great genius, and nobody knows it but me." "Right now, my machine and I are due in California for a big job." "Well, what's the use?" "I'll get even with 'em." "You know what I'm gonna do?" " What?" " I'll commit suicide." "That's a good way of getting even with 'em." " Have you got any rope?" " Mm-hm." "That's a pretty greasy old piece of rope, isn't it?" "Nah." "That'll dirty me all up." "Besides, you don't want me hanging around here anyway." " Have you got any poison?" " Mm-hm." "There's some poison." " What kind is it?" " Rat poison." "Rat poison?" "No good." "I can't die like a man, I'm not gonna die like a rat." "We'll have to think of something else." " Have you got a gun?" " Mm-hm." "I was afraid of that." "You got that pointed the wrong way." "How do you know which way I wanna die?" "I'll try it." " That's my last bullet." " Yeah, that's just as well." "Too much noise." "Why, a thing like that's liable to scare you to death." "No." "We gotta find another way." "What.." "Why didn't you tell me that thing was there?" "I might have killed myself." "Oh." "I don't see why you want to commit suicide anyway." "You got a job to do out in California." "Why don't you go on out there and do it?" "You know, you may be right at that, son." "There may be a lot of people in California depending on you." "I'll do it." "What's gonna happen to you?" "Oh, there's nothing much for me to do around here." "I guess I'll go out and look for my house." "Why don't you come with me?" "I could use a bright boy like you." "You could be my assistant." "You know anything about machinery?" "I know all about ploughs and tractors and things." "Good." "Then I'll be your assistant." "You mean to say you'll take me to California with you?" "Why not, I got nothing to lose." "Pack up your grip." "I'll pack my things right away." "How's the weather up there?" "Well, there's plenty of it." "[thud]" "Ol' rocking chairs' got me." "Are you hurt?" "Whoa!" "Come on." "Come on, Mr. Roscoe." "Right there, sir." "Are you hurt?" "Are you hurt?" "Wait, I'll get you some water." "Pfft." "Pfft." "I'm sorry." "Good afternoon, Mr. Parker." "Good and hot." "Let's go in the office." "I have some business to talk over with you." " Sit down, Mr. Parker." " My business won't take long." "I want you to certify this check." ""Union Construction Company."" "$32,000." "Yes." "I'm going to start building a flume to bring water down from Willow Lake." "Of course, we all like to see some way of getting water but..." "I think..." "I'll do the thinking, Spencer." "You certify that check." "To be frank with you, I haven't enough money to cover it." "You will have to give me little time to arrange some credit." "You mean you can't honor my check?" "I'm afraid not." "O-on such short notice." "You see, it's been a dry year and helping out the farmers." "Well, the bank has over-extended itself." "I'm not interested in how you mismanage your bank." " I want that money." " But Mr. Parker..." "I'm due at a meeting of farmers at the Chamber of Commerce." "If they find out that you're holding up this project well, I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes." "I believe the farmers know my attitude toward their problems and I think I've tried to be of some practical help." "Then maybe you can think of some way to get water to them." "I've thought of that too." "I've sent for a man whom I believe can save the situation." " Indeed." " Yes." "A rainmaker." "A rainmaker?" "Spencer, you must be crazy." "When the people hear about this, they'll laugh you out of town." "But-but Mr. Parker..." "I'll give you just 48 hours to cover that check." "If you can't do it by then, maybe the bank examiners would like to know why." "Come on, son." "Go to the Chamber of Commerce and tell them I'll be there." "Okay." " Good afternoon, gentlemen." " Good afternoon, Mr. Parker." "Looks like Spencer is trying to hold up that project of mine." "[car honking]" "Yeah." "This is it." "You better go in first." "I'm afraid." "Afraid to go into a bank?" "What for?" "Once when I'm busted right in my face!" "Quick, into the storm cellar." "[coughing]" "Here, here, why don't you look what you're doing?" "I'm sorry." "Did I get any on you?" "[coughing and mumbling]" "It's just a little dust." "It'll brush right off." "Give me a wrist broom, son." " Here." " Mm." "[coughing]" "You clean that up." "[coughing continues]" "Psst." "Give me that thing." "Allow me." "[clearing throat]" "Looks good in the cap, don't he?" "Here." "I'll handle this." "[shutter rolling]" " Well, I like that." " I thought you would." "Where can I find Henry Spencer?" "Oh, you're Mr. Roscoe, the rainmaker." "Yeah, but don't tell me that you're Henry." "No, I'm his daughter, and am I happy to see you." "But you can be happier than that, can't you?" "Well, that's better." "But I like more of the "uh-h."" "Come on." " Daddy, he's here." " Hi, daddy." "Mr. Roscoe." "Well, I'm certainly happy to see you." "Ha-ha." "[clears throat]" " Happy?" "You're overjoyed." " Won't you sit down?" "Yeah." "Not a bad idea." "Not a bad idea." "Now then, what's it all about?" "You're little short on one end." "Can I help?" "No, thanks." "I can do this myself." "Ah-h!" " Hello." " Hello." "I'm Billy." "I work for Mr. Roscoe." "I'm Margie." "Mr. Spencer's daughter." " Pleased to meet you." " Can you make it rain too?" "Oh, no." "I'm only the assistant." "The best I could give you would be a little mist." " Do you mind if I get down now?" " No." "Go right ahead." "Oh, uh." "Pardon me." "Do you work here?" "Oh, yes." "My father owns this bank." "Hm." "It's a nice bank." "Mr. Roscoe." "Unless we get water, the situation is hopeless." "Why, they've even accused me of misappropriation." "They did?" "Oh, that's bad." "I got accused of that once." "But I said, gentlemen, you've got to prove it." "And darned if they didn't." "What's that?" "'Oh, they're the controls.'" "'With those, we can give you almost any kind of a storm.'" "But wait." "Here is the most important part of the machine." " What made it do that?" " This is what did it." "This is called a magno-magnetizer." "Oh, you mean that's a magnet?" "Well, sort of." "And acts like an ordinary magnet on a thing like that but this also takes electricity from the human body and with the machine, sends it up into the sky." "Oh, it causes an electrical storm, and that makes it rain." "Mm-hm." " Why, that's miraculous." " Mm-mm." "It's aluminum." "Of course, I understand the whole principle of your apparatus is mass-magnetism." "That you've got to have crowds and crowds of people around it." "That's the idea." "The bigger the crowd, the bigger the shower." "There are lot of people over at the Chamber of Commerce meeting." "You think it will run over there?" "No, I'm afraid, we'll have to carry it." "Margie, we'll be back a little later." "We're going over to the Chamber Of Commerce." "When I get through floods in this town they'll think I'mOld Man River." " Well, goodbye." " Bye." "Ha." " Well, bye." " Bye." "[clearing throat]" "So, it resolves itself to this." "He has sent for a rainmaker." "Ha-ha." "Listen, did any of you ever see a person who could make it rain?" "[laughing]" "Did any of you ever hear of a person who could make it rain?" "Well, there you are." "Now, if you are willing to cooperate" "I will start building the flume at once." "I offer you something tangible and practical." "What does Spencer offer you?" "A rainmaker." "Think of it gentlemen, a rainmaker." "That's me." "Coming up like a storm." "What's the meaning of this?" "Who are the.." "Oh, so these are your rainmakers, are they?" "I've heard lot about you." "But you can't prove anything." "Set her up." "This is a business meeting." "You get out of here." "No, just a minute, Mr. Parker." "These are my friends." "I asked them to come down here to demonstrate their machine." "Why, this man is a genius." "Well, we've never had a genius in our village." "That's why it's a village." "I've reached the limit of patience with you, Spencer." "You must be mad." "You can't talk that way to Mr. Spencer." "You can't talk that way to me." "Shut up!" "It's only the law that makes me keep my hands off you." "It's the law that makes you keep your hands off a lot of things." "Let's tell 'em, Roscoe." "Are we going to stand for these insults?" "No!" "Throw them out." "'That's what I said." "Let's get on with the meeting.'" " Gentlemen." " Boo!" "Boo!" "Boo!" "Maybe, I was mistaken." "This ridiculous performance has gone far enough." "You get these hoodlums and their contraption out of here." " I resent that." " In fact, we both resent it." "This isn't a contraption." "This a scientific marvel of the age." "It's a hydro-electric diversifier." "Technically known as a condenser of atmospheric moisture." "Are there any questions?" "Yes." "Did you ever make it rain with that machine?" "Are there any other questions?" "Ah, we can see right through you." "When you get the machine started, drown him first." " Are we all ready to go?" " As soon as I set the magnet." "Ah, gentlemen." "This is the nerve center of the machine." "The magno-magnetizer." "'Without this, the machine would never start.'" "That's a lot of bunk." "Suppose it does start, so what?" "The beans will be sprouting, the flowers will be blooming and the trees will be leaving." " Yeah, and if it don't start?" " We'll be leaving." "Are we all set?" "Contact." " Contact." " Let her go." "[motor spluttering] [explosions]" "[chaotic rambling]" "Shut this thing off, will you?" "Shut it off!" "[clearing throat] [coughing and sneezing]" "I don't know what you're worried about." "Anybody knows that a machine can't produce rain." "Listen, son." "There's always a possibility they may succeed." "I can't afford to take a chance on that possibility." "The whole thing is a lot of hooey." "Mass magnetism." "Drawing energy from the body." "The man's a lunatic." "Why should he have a whole crowd to make it work?" "I don't know about that." "He's not going to have a crowd." "Not until I get those contracts signed." "Well, Mr. Parker." "I'm delighted to see you." "I'm sorry if I've kept you waiting." "Adams, I'm giving a little barbecue at my ranch tomorrow." "The engineers will submit plans for the new flume." "We want everyone there who's interested in the project." "Of course." "You know, I've prepared an announcement." "I want you to broadcast it on air at exactly 8 o'clock this evening." "8 o'clock has been taken by Mr. Spencer." "We're announcing a demonstration of that rain-making-machine at the park tomorrow." "You're not to broadcast that announcement." "But Mr. Spencer has already..." "Mr. Spencer's announcement doesn't go on the air!" "This does." "Is that clear?" "Why, ah... yes, sir." "If you say so." "Very well." "Hmm." "When Spencer finds out, suppose he gets a crowd of his own?" "Supposing his machine doesn't work?" "Reminds me." "I have an important engagement." " See you later." " Ah." "Be careful, son." "[soft instrumental music]" "You know, ah, I've been everywhere in Guber County." "And I never saw a girl as nice as you." "Oh, maybe you didn't look very hard." "Oh, it's your shot." "Oh, yeah." "You know, I'm afraid I'm a little off my game tonight." "Does it make you nervous to have me stand close to you?" "When I look at you" "I feel I wanna go through all the nine wickets at once." "Ah, pardon me." " It's your shot." " Oh!" "[music continues]" "I'm gettin' a little tired." "Would you like to sit there for the rest of the game?" "'Well, not under that tree.'" " No." " Mmm-mmm." " Why not?" " Well, that's a magic tree." "I know it sounds sort of silly, but if you're under that tree and you tell even a teeny-weeny little lie an orange falls off." " Is that so?" " Mmm-hmm." "How did you find out?" "Well, I.." "Come on, finish the game." "Now there's a fast game for you." "Do you know how to play Pachisi?" "Do I know how to play.." "Listen, brother, you are probably looking at the pachisiest pachisier in the entire universe." "[grunts]" "Maybe, I took in too much territory." " I kissed you." " When?" " Just now." " Really?" "I didn't feel it." "There." "See." "Oh, I didn't know you meant that way." "Ah." "How did you think I meant?" "Like this." "Y-you get two more now." " I do?" " I-I mean shots." "Oh." "Well, why don't you say what you mean?" "This is what they call the polo swipe." " Ow!" "Ow!" " Oh, does it hurt much?" "[sarcastically] Oh, does it hurt much?" "[string music]" "In a little while, our broadcast will be on air." "Marvelous invention, the radio." "In a few minutes we'll be talking to everybody in the county." "I don't like that." "There's some people I'm not speakin' to." "[shuffling]" "A one and a two." "Not so good." "Four and a five." "One, two, three, four." "One, two, three, four, five." "I sent you home." "Yeah, I'm not gettin' anywhere fast." "[shuffling]" "Well, that's better." "A two and a one." "Five and a six." "One, two, three, four, five, six." "One, two, three, four, five." "I sent you home again." "Yes sir, and I'm kinda gettin' sick of the old place too." "[shuffling]" "Wait a minute." "Who started the machine?" "Who started the machine?" "Do you think you can walk?" "Ah." "I don't know." "Ah." "I might, if you put your arm around me." "Well, here." "Ah." " Eh, both arms." " But you only hurt one ankle." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Does it feel better now?" "Mmm-hmm." "Feels fine." "Ah!" "[car honking]" "Oh, that's Orville." "He would." "I don't like that guy." "I had a run in with him this mornin'." "I told him plenty." "You did?" "I called him everything I could think of." " And what did he say?" " He didn't hear me." "[footsteps]" "I didn't know you had company." "We were playin' croquet and Billy hurt his ankle." " And we were just resting." " What a shame." "Yeah." "You see, I was out there swinging the mallet around and I made a polo swipe, and it's somethin' like this." "Hit myself right on the ankle, but that didn't stop me." "Came right back, hit myself on the other ankle." "Ha." "Funny thing you know, when I get swingin' this thing" "I haven't any idea where it's gonna land." " Would you like to join us?" " No, thank you." "I just dropped in to see your father." "Oh, he's probably inside playing Pachisi with Mr. Roscoe." "I want to wish them both luck on their experiment at the park." "Six." "I've sent you home again." "Yes sir." "I haven't spent so much time at the ol' folks in years." "[shuffling]" "What're you worrying' about, Hank?" "The broadcast will come along any minute." "I hope everything comes out alright." "Certainly it will, I'll give 'em more water than they've had since the Johnstown flood." "Your troubles are practically over." "Besides, you've got your health, haven't you?" "[knocking on the door]" "Oh, oh!" "Gangrene just set in." " Why you.." " Why you, right back at you." "Did you get the way I did that, Hank?" "Now, boys." "Boys." "Give me enough time, I'll send him home." "Okay, Mr. Spencer." "I was just drivin' by and thought I'll drop in to say hello to Marge." "She's in the garden." "Better stick around trouble, hear the big broadcast." "Not interested!" "[male radio announcer] 'KOJC Lima Park.'" "'When you hear the sound of the gong' 'it will be 8 p.m. Standard Pacific Time.' [gong beeping]" "'Please, stand by for a special announcement.'" "Here we go." "This is us." "'Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a message' 'of vital importance to every community member.'" "'Vital in that, it concerns the problems' 'with which we are now confronted.'" "'Water!" "The sponsors of this announcement' 'feel sure that they have a solution to this problem.'" "'And ask the cooperation' 'of every resident of Lima junction.'" "'They ask that you be on hand tomorrow at 10 o'clock..'" "What happened?" "What happened?" "[shaking radio]" "At the ranch of our public-spirited and civic-minded townsman Mr. Simon Parker where plans will be discussed for the new flume which Mr. Parker contemplates having built to bring water.." "Current would have to go off right in the middle of our broadcast." "Well, the lights are on all over the neighborhood!" "Maybe, a fuse blew out." "Yeah?" "Well, I'll fix that in a jiffy." "Lead me to it." "I don't know how that fuse could've come lose." "Never mind the fuse." "Let's get the rest of the broadcast." "'Hopes that all of you will be present' 'to assist in this worthy undertaking.'" "'Don't forget the time is 10 o'clock tomorrow morning.'" "'Beer and sandwiches will be served to all who attend.'" "Who said anything about beer and sandwiches?" "I was so excited, I might have told them there'd be beer and sandwiches." "'The next number will be an orchestra selection'" "'"Isn't Love The Grandest Thing."'" "With beer and sandwiches." "[orchestral music]" "[Billy and Marge singing "Isn't Love The Grandest Thing"]" "* This is the first of a cute little song *" "* Just to create atmosphere" "* Who cares for verses" "* They're always too long *" "* So here comes the chorus, my dear *" "* I've got two arms that want to hold you *" "* I've got a heart that wants to sing *" "* And just in case I haven't told you *" "* Isn't love the grandest thing *" "* When we're the mister and the missus *" "* You'll be the queen and I the king *" "* And we will live on hugs and kisses *" "* Isn't love the grandest thing *" "* I've had lots of girlfriends *" "* A dozen or more" "* But I've never been in love before *" "* If I could trade a million dollars *" "* For all the happiness you bring *" "* I'd say take back your million dollars *" "* Isn't love the grandest thing *" "* I never knew how much I missed you *" "* Or what a thrill a kiss could bring *" "* This is the first time I've been kissed, dear *" "* Isn't love the grandest thing *" "* I'll hurry home you'll never wait nights *" "* I've settled down I've had my fling *" "* I promise not to stay out late night *" "* Isn't love the grandest thing *" "* We won't care about money *" "* 'Cause if we have none *" "* Two can always live as cheap as one *" "* With you to tell my little jokes to *" "* We'll have the world upon a string *" "* We'll never fight like other folks do." "Will we?" "*" "* Never" "* Isn't love the grandest thing *" "[pigeons cooing]" "Well, doesn't look like anybody's coming." "Nope." "Looks like the broadcast wasn't much of a success." "The only one's that listened in, I guess, were the pigeons." "They'll probably eat and run." "I suppose, the people just aren't interested." "We did everything we could to bring them out." "If free beer and sandwiches don't get 'em, I give up." "We can't give up." "There must be some way to get a crowd to make that machine work." "You talk about a crowd." "No, you talk about one, it's your turn." "Well, I once saw a real crowd at a county fair." "They staged a head-on collision between two automobiles going 60 miles an hour." "One came from that side, the other came from that side and they met." "And when they met, oh, boy!" "What a crash." "Two automobiles?" "I've got it." "Henry, you take care of the machine." "Billy, you come with me." "We're gonna show 'em a crash." "I'd like to know what you're gonna do?" "We'll give 'em a crash that'll be heard around the world." " With two automobiles?" " Automobiles, nothing." "We're going in for something big." "Steam engines." "Two locomotives." "Where are you gonna get two locomotives?" "Right here in my vest pocket." "Here's an idea that I haven't used in years." "Here we are." "Boy, I am now the president of the Trans-Pacific Railroad." "President?" "Can I be your secretary?" "No." "You wouldn't fit on my lap." "However, you can try out." "Take a paper and pencil and take down everything I say." "Whom did you wish to see?" " Away, girlie, away." " But you can't go in there." "[tapping] What right have you to enter my private office, unannounced?" " My card." " I don't care who you are." "Why, why uh.." "Why, Mr. Flinton." " Mr. President, I had no idea..." " Tut tut, my good man, tut tut." "Oh, Mr. Flint, I-I'm so sorry." "Excuse me." "I-I guess I'll retire." "Take that down." "Stenographer retires." "How she can do it on her salary, I don't know." "But she retires." "Mr. Flint, it's a pleasure to meet our President." " You've done us a great honor." " Never mind that small talk." "And give me back that card." "I may need it again." "Hogan, you're gonna make some changes around here." "Yeah, and the first thing he's gotta change is that hat." "Take that down." "Yeah, Hogan." "The hat's gotta go." "Of course, Mr. Flint." "Of course." "If you'd pardon my saying so, Mr. Flint." "Your picture hardly does you justice." "Picture?" "Oh-oh." "Ha ha." "You're a much younger man than I expected." "Yeah." "Well, you see that was taken when I was much older." "[clears throat]" "Take that down." "Now, then." "Let's get down to brass tacks." "Hogan, I've been getting some bad reports on you lately." "I'm sorry." "But, after all, I'm not entirely to blame, Mr. Flint." "You know, this system is terribly run down." "System run down?" "This guy needs a tonic." "What he needs is a vacation." "If I might say so, Mr. Flint, I don't need a vacation as much as I need new equipment." "[Billy whistles]" "Boy." "He is in bad shape." "Yeah, make a note of that." "Hogan needs new equipment." "Now that leaves me with the point of my visit." "Hogan, new equipment." "That's what we need." "Out with the old, in with the new." "By the way how many old locomotives have we got on hand?" "We have... four." "That's too many." "We only need two." " Two?" " Yes, two." "Have them at Lima Park, tomorrow morning at 10 a.m." "Might I ask, what you're going to do with them?" "We're gonna smash them up." "Sma-smash them up?" "Hogan, what this road needs is more publicity." "Smashing two locomotives will be the biggest publicity stunt the world has ever known." "We can replace them with the new ones." "That's a splendid idea." "I wish I'd thought of that." "If you had, I'd have fired ya." "I-I'll call up Kelly, the superintendent." "He'll will have two locomotives at the Park at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning." "I'll take care of everything." "Are you sure you can take care of that?" "Why shouldn't he?" "That's right up Hogan's alley." "Come on, son." "How about driving to the Park?" "Everybody's over there." "Ah, there's nothing over there that would interest me." "Besides, I'm waiting for my father." "Hah." "I get it." "Waiting for Marge." "You better come over and see the excitement." "Hi ya, sweets." "Going my way?" "I hope not." "I'm going to the Park." "Wait a minute." "You don't wanna go to the Park with those chaps." "How about coming to my house and playing tennis?" "You know I don't play tennis." "Maybe you'd prefer a snappy game of croquet." "I might, if the offer came from the right party." "Where do you get off being snooty to me?" "Orville, please." "Stop the car." "Hurry up." "[tires screeching]" "What's the matter?" "Did we hit something?" "No, we're going to." "There's gonna be a fight." " Where?" " Over there." "That's all I want to know." "I want to talk to you." "Can't you leave me alone?" "Why don't you keep your hands off her?" "Can't you see you're annoying her?" "Well, you're annoying me." "So what?" "Oh, so what, huh?" "I'll show you so what." "Take your coat off." "[thud]" "Oh!" "[thud]" "Did you do that to my assistant?" "Yeah, what about it?" "[knock] [screaming] Ouch!" "Ooh, ooh." "My lad, to be a fighter, you've got to know footwork." "[thud] [machine spins]" "[bell rings]" "476 pounds." "Hmm." "He's a little bit bigger man than I thought he was." "Says, "Beware of a tall man."" "What's going on here?" "We're going on." "You-you ruffians." "'I'll have the sheriff on you within an hour.'" "You haven't heard the last of this." "Now, listen Kelly." "We can't get a good crack-up out of these old engines." "We can't get up speed enough." "About all we'll get will be a little bump, like this." "Hogan wants a good crack-up and orders are orders." "You boys get up steam." "I'll ensure we get a good crash." "All right, Kelly." "We'll do the best we can." "Okay, boys." "[band performing marching music]" "Jeez, Mr. Rascoe's idea certainly worked." "It looks like everybody in town is here." "Yes." "Everybody but Roscoe and Billy." "It's after 10 o'clock." "The locomotives aren't here either." "Oh, I hope nothing has happened." "Look!" "Here comes the engines now!" "[crowd cheering]" "[cheering continues]" "Margie." "Billy, I thought you weren't coming." "I'm glad you're here." "I'm afraid we won't be able to hold this crowd much longer." "They're getting hot under the collar." "Yeah, well, a good shower will cool them off." "Come on." "Get that thing started and let's get out of here." "[men arguing]" " Well, this is our big moment." " Ha ha." " Are we all set?" " Okay." " Contact." " Contact." "[machine chugs]" "(male #1) Well, where's the rain?" "You said it'll rain around here." " Try it once more." " 'How about those locomotives?" "'" "(male #2) Yeah, what about the crash?" " Contact." " Contact." "[machine chugs]" " Fake." " Fake?" "What do you mean fake?" "I'll give you until I can count ten to take that back." "And what if I don't?" "Then I'll count ten more." "[crowd mumbling]" " Give it another yank." " Okay." "[train horn]" "(male #3) There's the engine now!" "[crowd cheering]" "[cheering continues]" "If we don't get this thing going pretty soon we'll be the only ones left." "If you don't get that thing going pretty soon." "I'll be the only one left." "What do you think I found in my engine." " What?" " Dynamite!" "Cases of it." " Where?" " Hidden in the coal." "So this is Kelly's idea of getting a good crack-up, huh?" " What are we gonna do about it?" " I'm getting lost." "Okay, boys." "Better get rollin'." "It's after 10 o'clock." "What do you think we are, Kelly?" "We ain't riding with dynamite." "Oh, it's the only way we can get a decent crash." "Committing suicide ain't part of my job." "Get somebody else." "I haven't got another man on the extra board." "Now listen, you're just gonna start them and jump, aren't ya?" "Not us." "We ain't even gonna start." "Oh, wait." "Don't let me down, will ya?" "[crowd jeering]" " What's the matter?" " Just as I thought." "Hay fever." "I'll have it fixed in a minute." "Look." "No wonder it won't go." "The magnet isn't in it." " Give me, give me." " I haven't got it." " You haven't got it?" " No." "Say, it was in there the other night when we had the machine at your house." "That's right." "If we don't find that magnet, we're lost." "Well, don't worry." "The sheriff will find it." "Must have dropped at your house." "Billy, run over and get it." "Run over and get it." "If it's in the house, I'll find it." "Well, step on it." "Billy, we'll go have them start the engines." "Hey, look after this machine, will ya?" "[crowd mumbling]" "Well, brother." "How about the old crash." "There isn't going to be any crash." " What do you mean?" " The show's off." "My engineers have quit." "[crowd jeering]" "Say, we better think of something to hold that crowd until Margie gets back with the magnet." "I've already thought of something." "Don't go away, folks." "The big show is just about to begin." "[crowd jeering]" " What are we gonna do?" " What are we gonna do?" "We're gonna be the engineers." "We're gonna run those engines." "I don't know anything about running an engine." "Why, it's a cinch." "All we got to do is start them then jump and... bang." " Uh-uh." "Not me." " What are you scared of?" "I don't like that bang." "There's nothing to worry about." "I wouldn't get you into trouble." "It's a question of mind over matter." " Mind over matter?" " Yeah." "I don't mind." "You don't matter." "Get in there." "No." "When I blow the whistle the first time, start it." "When I blow the whistle the second time, jump." "Couldn't you blow the second one first?" "Oh, get in there." "[crowd cheering]" "[fire roars]" "[train hoots]" "Hey!" "All right, I hear ya." "You're going in reverse." "I'm over here." "[train rattling] [engine chugging] [crowd cheering]" "Boss." "Ah-h." "It broke off." "I don't know how to fix it." "I was pulling it.." "Oops!" "Why don't you keep your hands off things you don't understand." "I can't stop it." "Hey!" "Come back here." "You can't crack me up going that way." "[train hoots]" "Me, jump?" "Alright." "You better jump before it gets going too fast." "Don't jump now." "You'll run out of ground." "Uh-h-h." "[coat rips]" "[steam chuffs out]" "[chuffing continues]" "[train bell ringing]" "What's the matter?" "Two run away locomotives got loose on main line." "We've gotta side-track them before they meet the limited." "They're loaded with dynamite." " Dynamite?" " Yeah." "Hello." "Hello." "Hello." "[engine chugs on]" "What's this coming down the track?" "You bet on me." "You better check on it." "[train hoots]" "Oh." "Oh." "[train hoots]" "Go back!" "Go back!" "[engine chuffs]" "Whoa." "Ah-h." "Oh, God." "There's dynamite down here." "Come back." "Oh, faster, huh?" "[engine chuffs]" "Whoa!" "[explosion]" "Wait a minute." "Oh, come on over here." "Alright." "Come on down." "[train rattling]" "Wait a minute." "Aw." "Come on, now." "Walk." "Good." "Now follow me." "What are you doing over there?" "I can't walk across that board." "What's the matter?" "It makes me dizzy." "Well, come over backwards." "Back up!" "Back up!" "I am backing' up." "Well, back up forward." "Ugh." "Ah-h." "Listen." "If you don't come over here." "I'm goin' over there and get you." "[train rattling]" "Oh-h!" "Ah-h!" "[board creaks]" "Now, how am I gonna get back?" "Wait, I'll help you." "Give me." "Whoa!" "For a minute there, I thought there was gonna be two of me." "Give me your hand." "Ugh." "Ah-h." "Hey, hey, now." "Ugh-h-h." "Whoa!" "Ah-h-h." "What?" "It just went by." "Give me the switch when I call it." "Don't forget to tell him about the dynamite." "Hello, George." "Have those two locomotives gone by there yet?" "Well, when they do, switch them off the mainline." "Oh, I thought I told you to tell him about the dynamite." "Give me the switch again." "[engine chugging]" "I wonder what became of that other locomotive." "Oh, it probably ran into something." "I'm worried about it." "Well, you can stop worrying right now." " Why?" " I just found it." "Whoa!" "[engine rattling]" "Come here." "Wait." "Look." "What happened?" "Did we go over or under it?" "I wouldn't know." "What's that?" "Wait a minute." "Nope, haven't seen 'em yet." "Here comes one now." "Excellent Caviar, Major." "Hey, look." "Hello." "Yes?" "I just switched them on the line of park cut off." "How we gonna stop this thing?" "The thing we gotta do is to get rid of the steam." " Did you get the magnet?" " I couldn't find it." "I looked every place for it." "[crowd mumbling]" "Daddy, where's Billy?" "What's happened?" "Oh, haven't you heard?" "Your boyfriend and his partner left town on two borrowed locomotives." "So he walked down on you, huh?" "I told you that guy was not our level." "He said he wanted a crowd to make his machine work." "Well, there's the crowd." "Where's the rain?" "Hey, give me that." "Orville, don't let her get away with that." "[crowd mumbling] [mumbling continues]" "[crowd cheering]" "[cheering continues]" "I got the magnet." "Earl had it all the time." "He did." "Say just as soon as we get through" "I'm gonna knock that guy right in his ear." "No, leave him to me." "I got a better idea." " We got it, daddy, we got it." " I'm gonna start the machine." "No, you don't." "I'll do it." "You're liable to get it into reverse." "Whoa!" "Tackle." "[crowd cheering] [explosion]" "[machine rattles]" "[crowd cheering]" " Why, it's raining." " Ha." "A mere drizzle." "Next week I'll give you a cloud burst." "[crowd cheering]" "[instrumental "Jingle Bells"]" " Hey, what happened?" " The motor was cold." "[orchestral music]"