"Henry!" "Henry, will you slow down?" "This wilderness has been here for millions of years, it's not going to disappear whilst you unpack." "But I want to see Roosevelt." "He's the best." "A president, a boxer and a hunter." " Yes, and he won't be back till sundown." " How do you know?" "I know." "Okay, I'll slow down." "I fear Mr. Medlicot's boisterous nature is a bad influence on you, Henry." " Hello." " Oh, Mr. Medlicot." "Would you like me to show you around the camp before they return?" " Yes, sir." " Henry, will you slow down, or you'll collapse with sunstroke." "Don't worry, Miss Seymour, I'll calm him down." "Some help, I'm sure." "We have some excellent cooks here, you know?" "Some of President Roosevelt's favorite dishes are elephant trunk soup, ostrich liver, giraffe heart." "You'll love it." "Hello, let me introduce you to Henry Jones Jr., Professor Jones' son." " Hello." " Pleased to meet you, Mr. Heller." "Heller's a taxidermist." "He prepares the specimens for transportation back to United States." "The next time you go into a museum and stare at a lion, you can think of me and my blood- stained hands." " ls that water clean?" " Yes." "I forgot my robe." "Yes, so I see." "Thanks." "Henry!" "What on earth are you doing?" "Miss Seymour." " I thought you..." " You thought what, Henry?" "Nothing." "I'm sorry." "Ridiculous boy." "Henry?" "Henry?" "Henry, they're back." "Henry, this is Frederick Selous." "He helped plan the safari, and he's probably one of the best hunters in all of Africa." " Good to meet you, Henry." " Pleased to meet you, sir." "Excuse me." "And that's President Roosevelt's son, Kermit." " Kermit, are you ready?" " Yes, Father, all set." "Come on in." "I have read your book on medieval armory, Professor Jones." " It's a fine work." " Thank you, sir." "I'm glad you enjoyed it." " You must read a lot." " Not as much as I'd like to." " Mr. President?" " Could only manage..." " Mr. President?" " Excuse me, Professor Jones." "You see, sir, they clearly indicate this as being one of the Burton's oryx's breeding grounds." "There ought to be thousands of them around here." "Well, that's quite a mystery, then." "Mind you, this was written 20 years ago." " I haven't seen any this year." " Well, they can't have all just died out." "They may have migrated north." "They favor dry areas." "Oh, what a beautiful animal." "It's the very rare fringe- eared oryx." "And that was a lion, I suppose." "Well, at least we're in safe company." "No hunter is safe, Miss Seymour." "Today, I shot a lioness." "Her mate was nearby." "I shot the mate, but unfortunately I only wounded it." "We must never underestimate a wounded lion." "Remember Johnson?" "Teddy, surely you don't believe that old story, do you?" "Believe it?" "I was there!" "The man was scared out of his wits." "He even built a tree house thinking he'd be safe." "But the wounded beast came into camp that night and smelled him out." "Nothing we could do." "Do you know how to shoot a gun, Henry?" " No, sir." " He's only 10 years old." "By the time I was 10, I had an intimate knowledge of firearms." "Tomorrow, my boy, I'll teach you how to shoot." "Oh, Henry." "Dad?" "Go to sleep, Junior." "Sight your target." "Squeeze the trigger." "Don't pull it!" "Squeeze it." "Well done!" " Now what?" " Open the gun and let out the shells." "Careful." "Good boy." "I can see you're going to be quite a marksman." "Always remember, a gun should only be used in order to survive." "Now, this is the best gun ever made." "You may not be able to come on the hunt with us, but you should at least be able to enjoy this fine land." "Keep them." "They're yours." "Thank you, sir." "You look after him now, Miss Seymour." " And, you, be good." " Yes, sir." "Wouldn't you just love to go on a hunt, Miss Seymour?" "I dare say I would." "Especially if I had been invited by someone as dashing and brave as Mr. Roosevelt." "I dare say you would, too, Miss Seymour." ""...six- foot high, to the smallest."" "The royal antelope." "Only 10 inches." "Gosh." "Where's the word "antelope" come from, Henry?" ""Antelopes means brightness of eye," at least that's what it says here." "There must be over 80 species." "Look, here it is." "Wow, it's beautiful." " That's a very good likeness." " Thanks." "This way, I'll know for sure if I find it." "I'm going to take the binoculars, and I'm going to find it for Mr. Roosevelt and the museum." " May I?" " Very well." "But don't go far." "I won't." "Hello." "What's your name?" "Do you understand?" "Your name?" "I mean..." "Indy." "My name is Indy." "Indy." "Indy." "Indy." "Indy." "Indy." "Yeah, Indy." "Meto!" "Meto!" "Meto?" " Meto?" " Indy?" "Hi." "Meto!" "Look, binoculars." "Field glasses." "Like it?" "That was a lion!" "Hey, look, they're stampeding." "I know, they're stampeding." "It's great." "Elephants." "Yeah, they're called hippos in America." "Oh, 20." "I get it." "Is it like a toothbrush?" " Tooth..." "Brush." " Toothbrush." "Meto." "Come on, hurry up." "Gentlemen, ready please, and..." "Took quite a time to get this one." "She charged me." "I felled her at a distance of 30 yards." "I think she intended mischief." " Were you scared?" " Nope, excited." "These are very rare animals." "Now, with these two, that makes seven we've managed to bag so far." "But if they're so rare, why do you kill so many of them?" "In the grand scheme of things, seven is not many, my boy." "There are thousands of them." "Beasts such as these belong in a museum for everyone to share." "Besides, it's wonderful sport." " Hear, hear." " I'll drink to that." "But I still don't understand." "You're missing the point, Henry." "This is a science." "If people are educated, they'll have more respect for wildlife and nature." "But why can't you just shoot one or two?" "Because there are hundreds of museums." "But why don't you just put one animal in each museum." "Let mankind come to understand nature, very important." "I understand your feelings, son." "Why, I was given this very gun in recognition of my efforts to preserve the national heritage." "I count few achievements higher than the founding of our national parks, where people can come to understand and respect nature." " Oh." "I guess I see." " That's right, Henry." "Knowledge is the key." "Mankind has the power to destroy the wilderness." "That is something we must never be allowed to do." "This is the stillness of the eternal beginning." "The world as it has always been." "What do you think happened to the Burton's oryx?" "Well, I don't know." "It's a mystery." "I've been thinking about it." "And I think I can help you." "Well, the Smithsonian needs that animal for its collection." "I know I can help you." "Good, I can depend on you, eh?" "Yes, Mr. Roosevelt." "I promise." "He was coming up here for one of our donkeys." " I thought I'd take a stroll down." " Outstanding!" "He was just going to charge me and I saw him." " Congratulations." " Congratulations." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." " Congratulations." " This must be the wounded mate." "I think absolutely certainly." "Oryx." "Oryx." "Yes." "Do you know where they are?" "Where?" "Do you know?" "Jolly good." "Morning, Selous." "Latin." "Henry?" "Henry?" "Henry!" "Henry?" "Henry?" "Henry!" "Oryx are there?" "Burton's oryx." "Where are they?" "No, this is a drawing." "Where are they, the real oryx?" "I promised Mr. Roosevelt I'd find them for him." "Snake!" "Snake!" "I hate snakes." "Professor." "Professor." " I can't find Henry anywhere." " When did you last see him?" "About two hours ago, maybe three." "Perhaps he's gone exploring and he's just lost track of the time." "This is no place to go missing." "Right, we all better start looking for him." "I'll search the ridge." "Anna, start looking in the tents." "Yes." "What's she saying?" "He wouldn't just disappear like this unless something has happened." "Now, let's not panic." "He can't have gone far." "I sincerely hope he hasn't." " Kermit." " Yes, Dad." " Get a search party together." " Yes, sir." "Now, don't you worry, Mrs. Jones." "We'll find him." "That's right, I'm sure Mr. Roosevelt will find him." "Ground?" "Ground?" "Roots underneath the ground." "Yes." "The oryx dig it up from the ground and eat it." "If we find the root melons, we'll find the oryx." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Meto?" "Meto?" "We can't find him anywhere." " Maybe he's found somewhere safe." " I hope so." "Build a fire up top." "Henry?" "Henry?" "Junior?" " Henry!" " Henry!" " Are you all right?" " Yes, Mother." " Now, don't you ever, ever do that again." " I'm sorry." "We were worried sick about you." " I'm sorry." " All right?" "You've caused enough trouble for one day, Henry." "I'm disappointed in you." "I thought you were more intelligent." "But I was looking for Burton's oryx and I just lost track of the time." "No excuses!" "Professor Jones, I suggest you keep a closer eye on your son in the future!" "The African bush is no playground!" " I'm sorry." " So you should be." "You are going straight to bed." "And no supper for you, my lad." "What are you doing here?" "I can't." "Good grief." "All right." "They must be near." "Burton's oryx." "You can't win them all." " Good morning, Junior." " Morning, Father." " Good morning, Henry." " Morning." " I hope you learned your lesson, Henry." " Yes, sir, I have." "Excuse me." "What is he saying?" "This is Meto." "He's my friend." "He's been helping me." "I tried to tell you all yesterday." "We found Burton's fringe- eared oryx." " It's the root melon, you see." " No, we don't see, Junior." "They aren't here anymore because they only like this kind of root melon." "That's what we call elephant's footballs." "Oh, my goodness." "Some of them are huge." "Meto helped me to find them." "I promised you I'd find them and I have." "I have it all written down." "Here." ""There was a great fire in the bush which killed all the snakes." ""These snakes usually ate the mole rats."" "But the mole rats burrowed underground and they survived the fire." ""With no snakes," ""they got to be so many of them they ate all the melons." ""No root melons, no oryx."" "You see, all the plants and animals are..." "They're connected." "When something happens to one animal, it causes something different to happen to all the other animals." "The oryx moved away to find the melons." "You see, the melons are underground, so the oryx's have to dig them up in order to eat them." " So, what about the oryx?" " Meto and I saw them, only a few." "They're the most beautiful animals." "That's why I lost track of the time." "How far did you say?" "It's in a small gully somewhere over there." "You have a bright lad here, Professor Jones." "Simon, saddle up." "Are you all going to shoot?" "No more!" "I said no more!" "You've killed enough, no more." "That's enough!" "No more!" "Quite right, too." "Absolutely right, Henry." "It's a rare specie." "Who knows what kind of animals might depend on them, eh?" " Thank you, Henry." " Yes, sir." "Bully for you!" "Bye, Indy." " You liked Africa, didn't you?" " Yeah." " lt was so beautiful." " lt was so wild." "Yes, well, beauty can take other forms than wildness, you know." " Like what?" " Well, like in great art, for example." "Some say that great art is never wild." "Although some artists' lives certainly were." "Really?" "I mean, take Benvenuto Cellini for example, one of the great Renaissance artists." "His autobiography is something that..." "Is something that should be read when Henry is perhaps a bit older." "What?" "Oh, well, yes." "Yes, perhaps you're right." "Well, meantime, we should turn our thoughts to Paris, where I'm sure you'll have a stimulating cultural experience, studying everything from painting to the ballet." "Junior, come and have a look." "We've arrived in France." "Now, there's the city of Nice, from where we'll take a train to Paris." " Today?" " Yes." "Thank you." "Darling, where is Henry?" "Henry, come on." "Henry!" "Junior, now!" "Hurry up!" "Come on." "France." "How lovely and how civilized." "The first thing I'm going to do is to buy a new dress." "First thing I intend to do is take a deep, relaxing bath." "Yeah?" "The first thing I wanna do is go right to the top of the Eiffel Tower." "Do you know, Miss Seymour, it's the tallest man- made structure on Earth?" "Isn't that great?" "So, will you take me?" "Henry, I've climbed the pyramids with you." "I have no intention of ascending the dizzying heights of the Eiffel Tower." "Will you, Father?" "We'll see." "I'll have to check my schedule." "If you take my advice, Junior, your first order of business would be to see the paintings of the Louvre Museum." "Excellent idea." "Thank you, Professor." "Thank you." "Why, thank you." "But, Mother, why are you and Father leaving?" " It's only for a few days." " Yes, I know, but you just got here." "An old friend of Father's invited us to visit the wine country." "One of the finest vineyards in France." "Mom, why can't we go with you?" "Well, would you like to write an essay on the history of the grapevine or its significance in French medieval poetry?" "I guess not." "Now, why don't you help me finish packing and then be a dear and come downstairs in time to see us off." "Okay." " Bye, Mom." " Goodbye, Henry." " Bye, Father." " Goodbye, Junior." "Take good care of Miss Seymour." " Yes." " I will." "Have a good trip." "See you later." "No, don't." " Hi there, little guy." " Yes." "Yes, thank you." " Come along." " What a good boy." "Oh, candy." "May I, Miss Seymour?" "Please." "No, Henry, you've only just had your breakfast." "And we want to get to the Louvre before it opens, come on." "Don't touch the stuff." "Thank you so much." "It smells so good." "This is the greatest painting in the world." "Isn't it wonderful?" "See, her eyes follow you wherever you go." " Even in the bathroom?" " Henry." "Leonardo da Vinci took three years to paint Mona Lisa." "Just think of it." "She had to smile for three years, so Leonardo had musicians playing in the studio all the time and singers and comedians to keep her amused." "This is how you do it." "You puff your cheeks and you take in a breath." "See?" "Easy." "You don't need a band and funny men." " That's great." "My name's Indy." " I'm Norman." "Introduce yourself properly." "This is Henry Jones, Jr.," "I'm Miss Seymour and you are Norman..." "Rockwell." "Now, I like this one." "Look at the amazing nose." " Wow." " Like..." "The boy is the old man's grandson." "Well, we've seen the smiles, and we've seen the noses, so what's next?" "Well, we haven't seen the modern artists yet." "Do you see the way the table is cut off at the end?" " That's new?" " Degas, French, new." "I don't get it." "It looks fuzzy." "Well, it's called impressionism, Henry." "It's the art of giving a general effect without worrying too much about the detail." "Impressionists claim it's the freshest way for an artist to see the world." "What do you think, Henry?" "What do you think, Henry?" "Yes." "Well, I suppose looking at these canvases all day can be tiresome." "I know just the cure, and Norman can come, too, if he likes." " What?" "What is it?" " Something you can find only in Paris." "More like it, eh, boys?" " Yeah, it was great." " Yeah, it was really great." "Well, time to go." "I have some letters to write and, Henry, I seem to recall a certain essay on Leonardo da Vinci." "You mean, we're not gonna stay for the second show?" " Oh, yeah, we should stay." " Yeah." "Well, I don't know." "You can go to the hotel and write your letters, and we'll return right after the show, and then I can do my da Vinci paper." "Well, all right." "Well, I suppose it wouldn't do any harm." "But stay together." "Now, just watch one more and then back to the hotel in one hour." "So, where do you wanna go?" "Hey, you wanna see where the real artists hang out?" "I don't know." "I've seen a lot of art for one day." "Yeah." "Yeah, maybe you're too young." "It's a pretty dangerous place." "Really?" "Beats New York, huh?" " Hello, Monsieur Dumont." " Hello, Norman." " Pencils and a notebook, right?" " Yeah." " Where'd you learn to draw?" " I don't know, everybody asks me that." "I guess I just picked it up, like a bag of lemon drops." " Could I have one?" " Oh, sure." "That's Dr. Alphonso Rockwell from Queens." "He's my most famous ancestor." " Guess what he invented?" " What?" "The electric chair." "Wow, how did he think of that?" "He thought hanging was inhumane, reckoned the chair was kinder." "Me, I don't know." "Those are my aunts." "They give Bibles to convicts at Sing Sing." "And those are my parents." "That's great, you really can draw." "My parents are very religious, too." "I don't think they'd approve of where we're going." "Do you want to spend some time with me, boys?" "No." "Do you speak French?" "I improved it." "Hey, look." "That's Degas." "We saw his paintings at the Louvre." " Who's the other guy?" " I don't know." "I did." "You didn't." " I'm sorry, but I still don't like them." " Because you don't understand them." "I understand them, but I just don't like them." " You think they are indecent, is that it?" " lndecent?" "My dear fellow, a few years ago, every critic in Paris called my work indecent." "I couldn't pay a gallery to show my paintings." "So don't tell me about decency in art." "Then tell me, why do you dislike them?" "Because they are destructive." "You are throwing out perspective and composition." "Exactly, because we need a new way of seeing." "Oh, a new way of seeing is fine." "But I can't tell if that is a woman or a cow." "Again, my point." "I see shape, the real shape deformed." "The real shape of a woman is different from the real shape of a cow." "Now, my dear fellow, you asked for my opinion and I gave it to you." "But I must warn you." "Do you know what people are saying?" "That your new paintings will destroy you." " Who says that?" " Matisse." " And that Russian collector..." " Schukin." "Schukin." "He actually wept telling me what a loss you are for French art." "You are bringing art not just to an end, but to a dead end." "You are not a bad painter, but the man who did this couldn't do what I do." "Good day." "Degas!" "I can do what you do in my sleep!" "Monsieur Degas, Pablo doesn't want to offend you." "No offense taken." "Oh, once he was the master." "Now, his mind has grown old, stale and closed." "I could paint him into the ground!" "Wait a minute." "You can't say that about him." "What?" "That's Degas, he's a great artist, and nobody can paint like him." "I'd better get back to my hotel, excuse me." "So, you think I can't paint like him?" "Would you like to come to my studio and see me paint like him?" " Can I finish my omelet?" " Forget it!" "We're talking about art!" " What's your name, little man?" " Jones." "What's yours?" "I am Picasso." "Most paintings of nude women pose for an audience." "Degas women don't." "We are with them in private, like here." "He says he likes his women washing to be like a she- cat, licking herself." "He sees women without mercy." "He sees women without mercy." "Their skin turns pink and blue, like ours does when we're washing." "He puts on layers of pastel." "But the chalk isn't like oil paint in layers, is it?" "See?" "It rubs off." "That's the trick." "It's as if we're scrubbing her back for her." "Rest." " Now, for the final stage." " The final stage?" "To get Degas right, you must do it as he does." "From memory." "Degas likes to feel what he's doing." " You didn't like his painting?" " No, I like it very much." "I'd just rather see him paint like himself and not like Degas." "In that case, follow me." " My goodness." " You like it?" "Yes." "But what is it?" "It's like blocks or cubes or..." "Cubism, the newest of the new." "What Pablo has done is he's taken human bodies to bits and rearranged everything." " What's he doing here?" " Those are mine." "And a lot of people can't tell the difference." " Do you mind that?" " It's the paintings that matter." "You see, a cubist landscape shows how the earth is made of solid shapes at different distances from the viewer." "But it doesn't look real." "Is it a painter's job to make everything look absolutely real?" "Isn't it exciting, this idea, to make you feel, to see beyond?" "See?" "I can do a Degas, but he can't do one of mine." "Hey, very good, young fellow." "It is as good as I could have done myself." "I'm hungry!" "Thank goodness." "Come in." "Come in." "My charge is missing." "A small boy, about 10." "Tell the inspector what happened." "He should have been back hours ago." "He was at the puppet theater." "I called but they're closed." "We must begin a search." "Do you speak English?" "Madame, I speak perfect English." "We will do everything possible to find the young man." "We will not pour water on top of oil, I promise you." "I am an expert kidnapper of small children." " Come with us!" " No, no." "We are working." "But you must eat." "Come, it will be fun." "Come on, darling." "We're going to have a good time." "Hey, Norman, wait." "I should be back at the hotel." "Hey, Norman, wait." "I should be back at the hotel." " Aren't you hungry?" " But Miss Seymour will kill me." "And miss the chance of being with these guys?" "No." " You finished it." " For you, for a painting." "Open it!" "Holy smokes, a Louis Bleriot plane." "Like him, we are pioneers." "But our plane is the imagination." " You got my painting?" " It's waiting for you." "Hey, Norman, dance with the beautiful lady." " No." " She likes you." "She likes you, go on." " Come." "Come with me." " Go Indy, go." "Go, have some fun." "I don't wanna go." "Come on, I don't wanna go." "Come on, I don't want to." "I'm gonna get Degas to sign my painting." " That is a very dirty trick, Pablo." " I know." " Where are the other girls?" " Picasso." "Again?" "Let's go." " You stole my girl." " And mine." "Hey, what are you saying?" "They're enjoying themselves." " Let her go, you big ox." " Get out of my way, you stupid child." "Put down the plane!" "I love this town!" "Bye- bye." "Indy, this way." "He was not only the greatest painter of his day, he was a visionary who was hundreds of years ahead of his time." "Da Vinci imagined many things that have just been invented," "like the airplane." "What are they looking for?" "Oranges." "Once in a while, the market boys, they miss one or two." "Delicious." "Why did you decide to become a painter?" "Most men, they have choice, become a banker, a lawyer, tailor, mechanic." "Me, I have no choice." "No true artist has choice." "I must create in order to feel alive." " What am I?" " A bull." "Right, a bull." "One minute a cycle, the next a bull." "Magic." "Change one thing to another." "That's what I do." "I create a new way of seeing things." "But your pictures don't look like anything." "What do you mean?" "Well, the pictures of those ladies in your studio, they don't even look like ladies." "Not to your eyes, but to mine they do." "That is the difference between a painter like me and the master, Leonardo." "The great da Vinci, and even old Degas, paint with accuracy." "When he paint a wild horse, it look like a wild horse." "But when you paint a wild horse, what does it look like?" "You might not see the horse, but you will certainly see the wildness." "That is the essence of the new painting." "I'm trying to give spirit a form." "True art is emotion." "Tell your tutor Picasso told you that." " She doesn't even know who he is." " But one day she will." "One day she will." "Come to the party tomorrow night." "Don't forget. 9:00." " 9:00." " 9:00." "I can't get those paintings out of my head." "Look, the streets look different." " They haven't changed." " They look different to me." " Where's the girl?" " Tell us where the girls are!" "Where are the girls?" "Come on, quick." "Quick." "No, wait." "What is it?" "I don't like graveyards." "They are haunted." "You idiot, you coward." "We'll lose them." "Stop it!" "Quick, in here." "It's a ghost!" "Be quiet." "Be quiet!" "Be quiet." "This way." "I think they heard us." "It's only the night watchman." "He's completely drunk." "No, no!" "Don't kill me!" "Don't kill me!" "It came from over here." "For God's sake, what is it now?" " We did it." " Yeah." " See you at the party tomorrow night?" " Nine?" "Yeah, 9:00." "As long as I can get past Miss Seymour." " Where have you been?" " Studying." "Here's my da Vinci paper." "Leonardo and the meaning of art." "Henry, you were not in your room last night!" "I was working here, where it's quiet." "See, I must have fallen asleep." "Are you going to punish me?" "No." " This looks like punishment." " This isn't punishment." "Well, what is it?" "You will not leave this room until you finish Les Misérables." "Great title." "At 9:00, you'll see yourself to bed." "Bonne nuit, Henry." "Henry?" "Henry?" "Henry!" "Norman!" "Norman, hold on!" " Come on." " Hold on, Norman." " What kept you?" " The world's gone crazy, Norman." "First, Miss Seymour locked me in my room, but then I escaped and nearly fell from the rooftops." "Okay, we don't want these guys to think we're weird, all right?" "This is a grown- up party, it's kind of serious." "Hey, Indy, it's good to see you." "Hi, Norman." "Welcome." "I'll introduce you to the other Americans." "I want one of his cubist paintings." "You'll have to die to get one of his paintings." "Fernande." "This is Mr. Kahnweiler." "He's a famous art dealer." "This is Norman, he's a great painter." "And this is Gertrude Stein." "Hello." " And this is Alice B. Toklas." " Hello." "Excuse me, I'm looking for two boys who've gone to a party." "Of course." "Picasso." "This is like the Alamo." "Rousseau!" "Rousseau!" "And this is Rousseau, the primitive painter." "Your speech!" "We are the two great painters of the age." "You, in the Egyptian style, me in the modern." " Tell us your ghost story." " Oh, no." "I'm too frightened." "Be brave." " Tell us." " Come on, tell us the story." "Be brave." " Tell it." "Yes, come on." " Come on." "The ghost walks the catacombs." "He presides over the dead of Paris." "He is a supreme phantom and satanic messenger." "He is on the roofs and in the doorways." "Gaugin saw the ghost, and Vincent, too." "He told me then." "When all Paris slept, the ghost arrives." " Miss Seymour!" " Henry!" "The tutor." "Would you please put that thing down?" "I can't see much." "What's he going to do to her?" " I don't know." " Do you think he's going to hurt her?" " No, I don't think so." " Let me look again." "Do you always draw people without asking them first?" "You didn't ask to come here." " Don't move!" " You can't frighten me." "If you don't keep quiet, the drawing will frighten both of us." "Sit still!" " Can't I talk?" " No." "You leave the talking to me." "Those two boys have shown me they love art." "You should let them be more independent." "They will really understand art if they spend a little more time with me." "I'm not sure the police will agree with you." "The police are like critics." "They have as much to do with art and artists as ornithology has for the birds." " I'd like to look." " No!" "To be perfectly honest, señor Picasso, you are one of the rudest men I have ever met." "When I want lessons in good manners from the English, I'll ask." "Now." "Now!" " Good Lord." " lt is not a religious drawing." "No, I know, but..." " You really can draw." " Better than anyone alive." " Don't boast." " Why not?" "It's true." "It's absolutely beautiful." "And?" "Time to go." "Miss Seymour, what do you think of this painting?" "Look." " It's a Degas, isn't it?" " One of his best, I think." "Yes, isn't it perfect?" " He is such a talented man." " How long have you had it?" "Oh, not long." "And how much did you say you paid for it?" "Sorry, bad habit of an art dealer." " Not at all." "A few hundred francs." " I'll give you 1,000." "1,000?" "So much?" "It's a very good work, but it's not signed." "I will feel very bad taking so much for a work which is not signed." " Then I'll get Degas to sign it." " Wonderful, it's a deal." "But only if you allow me the privilege of being there when it is signed." " Here, Indy, I want you to have this." " This is your drawing Picasso signed." " It's a souvenir of our adventures." " Thanks." "This way." "I got him, the old fool." "The old bull taken down by the dashing, talented, young matador." " I don't like this." " You're being cruel." "I'm being brilliant." "Here he comes." "Maestro, thought I'd find you here." "I just bought one of your masterpieces." " I must have been tired." " Tired?" "I must say, in my humble opinion, that I think it's one of your most brilliant works." "Yes." "Yes, it's quite remarkable, isn't it?" "Quite so." "But, alas, you have neglected to sign it, maestro." "Well, I can remedy that." "The pigment I use doesn't smell like this." "You see!" "I can paint as well as Degas." "I am such a genius that even he can't tell his own work from mine." "Pablo, what are you saying?" "I painted that painting and it is so good that Degas signed it as one of his own." "Are you out of your mind?" " It's not funny." "I suggest you apologize." " Never!" "The boys will tell you." "They were there." "Tell him you saw me do this." " We didn't see you do it." " We didn't see you do it." "Tell them pronto!" "Truth is, it looks like a Degas, and it's signed by Degas." "Pablo, stop." "Okay." "Monsieur Kahnweiler, how would you like to buy this little Picasso?" "Cubist sketch." "I've been trying to get Pablo to sell me one of these cubist pieces since January." "I'll give you 500 francs for it." "500 francs?" "For one of his most interesting pieces?" "This drawing is brilliant." " Yes, it's quite good." " All right, 800." " Wait a minute, I didn't do this." " Looks good enough to be yours." " lsn't that your signature?" " lt looks like it." " Well, I..." "Yes it is, but..." " Well, who else could draw that good." " Braque?" " No." "No, I didn't do it." "Well then, who is it, Mr. Picasso?" "This is you, Pablo." "It's wonderful." "You're joking too much this morning, makes my head hurt." "1,000 francs, no more." "Sold." "A good price, don't you think?" "Here, you get half." "Listen, if I was staying in Paris longer, I could be your agent, and I would make you rich." "And I have ended up with two wonderful paintings." "Come." "Come." "Oh, it's good to be back." "I should have loved to have seen Mr. Picasso hoist on his own petard." "He's such an impudent rogue." "Yeah, but I liked him, though." "Well, so did I, and I shall always treasure the drawing he made of me." "There they are." "Mother." "Henry." "Junior." "It's so nice to see you, Miss Seymour." " Father, how was your trip?" " We had a lovely time." " How about you?" " Oh, it was okay, I guess." "Well, Son, I hope you employed your time wisely." " Did you visit the Louvre?" " Yes, sir." "And now I suppose you think you know all about art." "Well, it gave me a lot of ideas." "Art seems to stretch the boundaries in the way we see things." "But what you don't realize, Junior, is that a museum only tells you a small part of the story." "It doesn't give you the true sense of the artist's struggle to create, which can be very exciting." " Really?" " Yes." "Some artists lead extraordinarily colorful lives." " Do they?" " Lives of danger, daring, passion, eccentricity, and outrageous behavior." "But you're a little too young to know about that just yet." " Something the matter, Miss Seymour?" " No." "Well, you're certainly right about that, Father." "I'll have to wait till I'm older to get the real excitement." "So, what did you find at the museum to be of particular interest?" "Anything I should know about?"