"Good, this Currywurst." "Thanks." "Sure." "How does a person get into the bodyguard business?" "Some guy approached us." "Said he needed reliable people to protect a Hollywood actor." "Oh." "But that's not what I meant." "I mean, what kind of training is required." "Training?" "Yeah, it must take some kind of education." "Shooting, how to use a knife, martial arts?" "Oh, that." "My brother and I spent many years in the Russian army." "So that's what the tattoo is about?" "Right." "I got that in Afghanistan." "And this bullet wound, too." "You've been in a real war?" "Yeah, yeah." "Two years Afghanistan, later Chechnya, then the Russian army had no more money, so then we came here to Germany for work." "How much does a soldier make?" "Hm, not much." "A major gets about 150 Euros a month." "Have you ever killed anyone?" "Of course." "That's war." "If I offered you money, would you kill someone for me?" "I went ahead and took some pictures." "Oh, and thanks again for helping me pick up that closet." "They wouldn't have delivered until next week." "So?" "What's it gonna cost me?" "Payment not authorized." "Card confiscated." "OUT OF BOUNDS" "Morning, Kettwig." "Jürgen, I'm glad you're finally here." "His plane should arrive in 5 minutes, but I'm not sure where." "Why?" "It's on the board!" "Gate twelve, ten forty-five." " What's keeping Ingo?" " Yes, but that plane's from Frankfurt." "There are no direct flights from Los Angeles." "Because the damned residents' association has been preventing a runway extension for years." "Hell, what good is an event manager if he's never available?" "Come on, gate twelve..." " What was that character's name again?" " Douglas Burnett." " Is that the role that made him famous?" " No, that's John Striker." " How long ago was that?" " About 20 years." "20 years." "Who the hell knows him anymore?" "Exactly, Jürgen." "Don't you think that his 20,000 Euros fee is a little too high?" "No, no, it's okay in general." "Always go the whole nine yards my friend." "So, I repeat..." "I'm sorry... three weeks Dominican Republic." "All inclusive." "Five star hotel, double room, right?" "Don't forget the rental car." "A Toyota Celica?" "Not a set of spark plugs with a roof!" "Don't you have something more expressive?" "I can offer you a Cherokee." "Cherokee." "Sounds better already." "That makes a total of 2,659 Euros." "How would you like to pay?" "There!" "That's him." " The guy with the red baseball cap." " Right." "We'd better get Mr. Burnett out of here before he causes a stampede." "I'm sure Mr. Burnett would rather go to his hotel." "This is our orphanage in Brasov, that's our partner-city in Romania..." "Why don't I take over." "Excuse me, would you please take this back again?" "Thank you." "What..." "This is a sound bite from the series." "It may have been a couple of years back, but the guy was a big star." "All I'm saying is:" "That Tin Cup guy would have been perfect." "I could've had Tom Cruise running around here in silk underwear." "It's just a matter of money." "No pictures, please." "I have an agreement with Mr. Burnett's agency." "I only hope we get enough money for our orphanage." "Mr. Kettwig, ever since Douglas signed on," "German VIP'S have been beating a path to our door." "Here, number four." "This is it." "Do you need any help there?" "No thanks, we're fine." "Hadn't we clearly agreed to avoid the public as far as possible?" "Why?" "That was a perfect dress rehearsal." "Everything worked out fine." "Thank God." "One stupid accident and the shit hits the fan." "So, from now on, no more tricks." "We have to keep a low profile." "Speaking of low profile." "Don't you find this room a bit small?" "What?" "Your two-room apartment in Dietersheim isn't much bigger." "No Hollywood star would stay in a room like this." "No one would believe it." "What's worse..." "it's in Kornwestheim." "Wait a minute." "What are you talking about?" "No one knows you're here." "You stay right here until tomorrow and get some rest." "Or else." "Here's your cigars." "Don't waste 'em." "Those things are expensive." "And what about the bodyguards you promised?" "They're part of my role too you know." "I've studied my character in great detail." "I'll take care of it." "Gotta go." "I'll see you tomorrow, and don't let anyone in." "Got it?" "Not Cuban!" "So?" "A bit big." "You'll get used to it." "Wait and see what Santa Claus brings." "Kettwig, what is it?" "Yeah, calm down," "I was coming to the golf course now anyway." "Did you bring the money?" "Okay." "See you later." "Kettwig's a nervous wreck again." "Farmer Buschschulte's giving us trouble." "Sorry sweetheart, I have to go." "Well, I asked her how that could happen and the child immediately started to cry and didn't want to talk about it." "What do you think?" "My little girl's hamster died." "Of course she cried." "Okay." "But the question is:" "How did the hamster die?" "She told me she let the hamster out of its age, it got caught in the door, and was squashed." "What are you getting at?" "Mrs. Bauer, I don't understand your reaction either." "It's a good thing for Ronya to be sad, that's perfectly normal when something bad has happened." "Melanie?" "May I come in?" "Yes." "So, as soon as this shin-dig is over, I'm up for some time out." "Republic, five-star hotel, all inclusive, like it oughta be." "Wonderful..." "Will you take me with you?" "Love to, but I think my girlfriend might not like it." "You see, the trip's a surprise for her 30th birthday." "Believe me, it would be a surprise if all of a sudden, I showed up." "Francesca." "Those guys I got you for your furniture move ...were they any good?" "The Russian bodyguards?" "You bet they were good." "Especially the good-looking one with the muscles." "Those were two real hunks." "You don't happen to know where they are?" "I sure hope they didn't go back, ...because I'd like to request their help again." "Three or four times per week, would be good." "What would Jürgen say?" "Oh, he has no say." "No rent in my hand, no more use of this land." "What an asshole!" "Morning, Dieter!" "You also taking part in the "Early Morning tournament"?" "I'd like to, but unfortunately, I don't have a lady to join me." "What about that charming lady I saw you with?" " When?" " At the season's opening." "Oh, that was mother." "No!" "That was your mother?" "You sure made a handsome couple." "Jürgen, what's this all about?" "I thought you paid the rent a long time ago." "Take it easy, Kettwig." "I have everything under control." "Do you have the money for the Hollywood clown?" "Hello, ladies." "Having yourselves another drink?" "That's not going to improve those handicaps." "Look who's talking." "Ingo, let's talk about the financial stuff." "Nothing I'd rather do." "Speaking of money, I could use some more, too." "Oh yeah?" "What for?" "Surely I don't have to beg my own husband for money, do I?" "We'll discuss this at home." "Ingo, let's go inside." "Ladies, if you'll excuse me?" "Duty calls." "So, did he settled in already, that John Striker?" "Yeah, as a start he's staying at his sumptuary suite." "Right." "Ten thousand." "But what about flight and hotel expenses?" "I'll need invoices for those." "So we can handle them officially..." "Yeah, sure." "No problem." "So if you'd put your signature here." "On the right." "It's just that you did receive the money." "We want everything to be accurate, right?" "Sure." "And the duplicate." "Great!" "That's done then." "Alright." "Good." "So, see you tomorrow." "Look forward to tomorrow." "1000 kisses, Ingo" "Shit." "Shit." "Are you blind, or what?" "Didn't you see me?" "I have the right of way!" "Right of way?" "!" "You nitwit!" "This is my land." "I can do whatever I want." "You go tell that to your fine gentlemen at the golf club." "Don't pay the rent, but drive around in fancy cars." "Bastards." "Fuck." "First the money, then the honey, baby." "Charly, it's Ingo." "What's the matter?" "Did you fuck up again?" "No, no." "Everything's fine here." "Dough arrived." "A real nice guy." " Who?" " Douglas Burnett." "The star from Hollywood, for..." "Good." "Look, I'm in the middle of a meeting here, so what's up?" "Just wanted to know when you'll be back?" "Can't say yet." "Probably Monday." "Did you take my car in for inspection, yet?" " Hello?" " It's done!" "So I assume you'll be picking me up at the airport with it." "I'll have to see how things turn out here." "That wasn't a question." "I expect you to be there." " Okay, I'll be there." " Right." "And don't fuck up." "I want to keep doing business with those guys." "Sure." "I have to get back to it here, Ingo." " Okay." "Bye, have fun." " Yeah." "Bye." "Idiot." " What is it?" " Nothing." " Let me see." " Hey!" "Everything going well here." "Have a surprise for you." "Look forward to tomorrow." "What an idiot." "1000 kisses, Ingo" "How did you stand it so long with that joker, anyway?" "Come on, he's a nice guy." "He's a loser." "If I hadn't given him this job, he'd be through." "Wasn't that a good idea of mine..." "I don't have to bother with that ridiculous golf tournament and we can..." "That turns me on." "Do come..." "Put that out." " No, no." "I didn't mean it that way." " How did you mean it then, huh?" "I mean I do understand." "Yes, of course it was our fault." "And of course we'll pay for the damage." "We discussed that ages ago." "We're waiting for the shock absorbers from Korea and." "Listen." "Let me tell you something." "Last week I went to the baker and bought myself ten rolls, okay?" "But not the long kind with the crack in the middle." "The round ones, with a rosette." "Know the ones I mean?" "Yes." "They've got a special name, I think." "Yeah right." "So you know what I'm talking about." "And then I also took three croissants." "So, ten rolls and three croissants, ok?" "And there was this guy standing next to me, who insisted on having whole wheat bread." "But they didn't have any left." "So he bought rolls, too." "Five, I think." "Do you understand?" " Yes, sure." " Then I decided to buy some more pastry." "So I ran over to the supermarket to get the milk." "And while I was there, why not get some fresh fruit as well." " You understand?" " Yeah, sure." "What did you understand?" "That you like healthy food?" "The bullshit you just heard is just as boring as the crap you give me." "All I know is" "I had an accident with a Porsche, that was tuned by you, because it didn't hold to the road anymore and at 230, it lost contact with the ground." "I paid you a lot of money and I want that car ready by the end of the week, because then, I wanna take my girl to Italy." " I'll take care of it." " That's what I wanted to hear." "By the way, is your arm okay again?" " Hey, Ingo!" "How's business?" " Just fine." "And you?" " Great!" "Bad guys like me always do good, you know that." "So what do you think of the tuning?" "Developed it special for Bullet-Harry." "Bullet-Harry, the pimp?" "The brother of that bank robber they shot a few years back?" "Hey." "Harry's a businessman." "A good friend of mine." "Real fine person." "And he always makes me a good price, if you know what I mean." "Okay, the basis is a 911." "We gave it the body of a 959." "Only built 500 of those." "Also widened the arches, put more weight on the rear axle." "Mark, listen." "My car's got this damage." "Could you take a look at it?" "Alright..." "No Problem." "I can turn this into a nice little insurance number for you." "No, no insurance." "Why not?" "My premiums are too high already." "That will coasts you at least, 2500." "Here." "Two thousand, cash..." "But the car has to be ready by Monday and it's due for inspection, too." "Listen." "I don't suppose you'll be needing an appropriate vehicle for the golf tournament?" "Now what kind of car is this?" "It's just borrowed." "For the golf tournament." "It looks like a pack of cigarettes." " They call it 'promotion'." " Promotion." "And I thought promotion was being elevated in the ranks for having learned something properly." "Don't give me all that again, Dad." "You know how hard I work." "Yeah, and now you're back living here again." "That's how great your finance jobs did for you." " It's not my fault the stock market crashed." " Hi honey!" "I have some cherry cake left in the kitchen." "Not now, Mom." "I have to get going again." "Where's Bianca been lately?" "Isn't she coming here anymore?" "She's on a trip for a couple of days." "She sure is on vacation a lot." "I thought you two were going to the Caribbean next week." "She just wants to get herself sorted out and that's fine by me, because right now I have more than enough stress as it is." "Good evening." "Could you put me through to the editorial office of the "PEEP" newspaper?" "Ingo, my man." "So, is John Striker in town yet?" "Oh man." "What a loser." "What?" "Why?" "Theatre Guy..." "Cabaret..." "Ship of Fools." "But thinks he's Robert de Niro himself." "Alcohol problem, two divorced marriages." "Man, you better button your lip." "If this comes out, you can get in trouble for fraud." "Hey, those golf club dummies would have taken Karl Dall for Eddie Murphy." "They wouldn't even know the difference." "Well, he is attracting VIP's." " Look who's sitting over there." " That couldn't be?" "Sure is." "Take a look here." "Found this in my collection at home." "Just look at those tits." "We already have bets on whether they're real." "I say they are." " What was the name of her biggest hit?" " She only had one. "Take me now..."" "No way, it was "I wanna feel your heat." Anyway, it was in the top ten." " So go on." "Get yourself an autograph." " Get outta here." "I can't do that." "Why not?" "You wouldn't do it, either." "Sure I would." "Come on, I'll ask her for you." " Shit, he's actually going to talk to her." " Oh, he's just acting cool." " Fact is, he's getting taken for a ride." " By whom?" "Who do you think?" " Yes, I've seen him around." " Anyway, we both went to E.B.G?" "I was the one who always organized the grade parties." "I left school in 10th grade." "Right." "You must have been three, four grades behind us." "We already noticed you back in school." "I'm helping out with the golf tournament tomorrow." "It's a really big event with lots of other VIPs." "I had Douglas Burnett flown in from the States specially." " Who?" " John Striker from the series John Striker..." " Right, I know him." " Well, I guess it was more for boys." "But I'm glad you came." "That's good." "But I'm not here because of the golf tournament." "Oh." "But if you care to come, you're invited." "Here's my card." "Here's the cell number, it's on 24 hours." "Phone and fax numbers aren't working yet," "I'm just moving into a bigger office." "Thanks." "I'll think about it." "Okay." "It would be nice if you could make it." "Ciao." " The cold shoulder, huh?" " Total arrogance, man" " She gave him the cold shoulder." " Hey, I have a girlfriend, okay?" " Where were you?" " Wait and see." "And now, a special request:" "Take Me Now by Glamourgirl!" "Have fun!" " Hey, is something wrong?" " No." "Why?" "What should be wrong?" " You're acting funny." " Everything's fine." "I just don't think it's a good idea for me to be coming to the golf tournament." "We're just not ready for that, yet." "You're the one who said I should get my ass in gear and achieve something." "And now that I have, you're not coming." "We'll see each other next week." "For sure." "Great." "Next week." "I love you." "Yeah, you too." "Bye." "Where are you two?" " Why?" " Mr. Burnett is expecting you." " Today?" " Of course today." "Today I can't." "I've got other job to do." "Sergeij!" "Ingo..." "I call you back!" "Two minutes." "You don't really expect me to believe you paid two thousand Euros for this stupid closet." "Excuse me." "How could I pay for it with no credit card?" "I got the money from Valerie." "Where's the receipt?" "Don't have one." "I'm beginning to wonder if a divorce wouldn't be cheaper." "Where are you going?" "He's on the way to her." "Yes." "I've got the money." "Shit." "How did they get wind of where you're staying?" "No idea." "My English is perfect." "My father was an American G.I. And my second wife was a dancer on Broadway." "Just let me speak to them." "Are you out of your mind?" "!" "You do nothing." "Stay here, I'll handle it." "My friends, I'm glad you're all so interested in Mr. Burnett." "But I promised him that his privacy would be respected, which is the reason he's residing at this." "Please do me a favour and..." "You're lucky." "Due to the golf tournament, were almost completely booked however, the suite is still vacant." "It's 900 Euros a night." "You see that guy over there." "The one with the baseball cap?" "That's Douglas Burnett." "John Striker?" "That's the gentleman the room is for." "Surely, it would be good promotion for your hotel." "I don't suppose you have Hollywood stars here every night of the week." "I see." "Let me just go discuss it with our manager." "Do that." "I'll wait." "Excuse me, may I introduce myself?" "My name is Mischa Hahn." "I know you from Cruise under the Palms." "Thank you." "Though I must say I've recently treated acting with some disdain." "I don't get enough of a challenge." "Here, in Germany, a role with depth is a contradiction in terms." "So now, it's:" "Mischa Hahn-the golfer who acts, rather than the actor who golfs." "Hi." "I just overheard your conversation and sometime during the tournament," "I would be honoured to have a few words with Mr. Burnett." "I don't know if you have any influence on who's seated where." "But I must say I speak perfect English." "After all, I always spend half the year in L.A." "Well, I can't promise anything." "But I'll see what I can do." "That would be nice, thank you." "See you at the tournament!" "This is the gentleman." "Hello, I just wanted to ask if..." "Yes, I've been informed of your request." "Of course we can do something for you." "What do you say to 10% of the regular price?" " Sounds fair." "My pleasure." " The pleasure is all ours." "I hope you realize how much a suite like this costs?" "Hollywood stars don't care about prices." "But I do." "I only care about character credibility." "Oh, something else." "Mischa Hahn's lurking downstairs." "Second-rate television actor." "Right." "Anyway, he's familiar with the series "John Striker"." "So please stay clear of him." "So..." "Here." "Your fee." "Two thousand Euros, as agreed." "It sure isn't much, considering all the research for the role." "All right, fine." "I'll give you another five hundred." "And it right back to pay for that bullshit with the TV-set." "So please, keep your hands off of this one..." "Police assume that the men originated from an Eastern European country." "Speculation that the two men shot each other dead has not yet been commented on." "While on the topic of violence, here is a special report from the world of the famous:" "Douglas Burnett, in Germany for a charity golf-tournament in Unna, Westphalia, gave his reaction to the TV series The A-Team... a show that in his opinion "dumbs down'" "You moron!" "Look at all the attention you attracted." "A better publicity you couldn't have got at all." "You can be glad that nothing worse happened." "I think I'm good." "Mr. Douglas Burnett is so right!" "I am a single mother of two, and the press representative of our town." "So I invited Mr. Burnett for a small drink and also to visit our beautiful town hall, where he signed his name in the Golden Book of the town and did some promotion for his charity event." "Mr. Burnett is here as patron of the golf tournament in our beautiful town." "But we're also expecting numerous other prominent guests, all of whom we hope are in a generous mood." "After all, this is all about a charitable cause." "It's going to be big." "The kid is good." "This is exactly the kind of thing we need right now." "I don't even have anything to wear yet." " Excuse me?" " I want to come with you." " You're kidding, right?" " Why?" "Surely you don't want to jeopardize our little relationship?" "My wife already seems to have already noticed something as it is." "Come on." "Forget it." "Fine." "I have to get going anyway." "Could you drop me off in town?" "You were supposed to call me back." "You forgot?" "No wonder you guys are so useless." "Okay, hurry." "The tournament begins in an hour." "What?" "That's more than twice the amount we agreed on." "I thought you guys hated free market economics?" "Unbelievable." "You'll have to forget about the bodyguards." "All of a sudden, they want more than double." "What?" "No bodyguards?" "Does David Hasselhoff have bodyguards?" "Yes!" "Does Don Jonson have bodyguards?" "Yes!" "Tom Selleck?" "Yes!" "Even Gottschalk has bodyguards." "Happened to see you on TV." "Congratulations!" "Bianca" "Jürgen!" "My God, Kettwig." "What's that horrible stench?" "Buschschulte's putting manure on his fields." "There's nothing we can do." "This is all his property." "Today of all days." "That old pisser." "Hi, Klaus." "Boy, Kettwig." "Did you pass gas?" "No." "That's farmer Buschschulte, he's putting manure on his fields." "Ladies and gentlemen, dear friends of the sport of Golf." "As you can smell, our golf course is in perfect harmony with nature." "The smell probably matches the image some of you may have of our sleepy little town." "Unna?" "Never heard of it- except maybe in the traffic reports." "All of that is about to change." "Therefore, I am especially proud to put Unna on the international map of golf with our Charity People's Cup 2005" "Do you hear that?" "In a few minutes, John Striker our guest of honor, and patron of the campaign "Generosity Unlimited"" "will be landing right here on this green to open the tournament." "Thank you." "Don't you ever do that again." "Ladies and gentlemen, join me in welcoming the one and only Douglas Burnett." "It is wonderful to be here in Germany." "Well, my grandfather was German, so I know a few words." "But please allow me to speak English." "Permission granted." "Hi, wouldn't you be better standing over there?" " That way you'll still catch the finish?" " Where?" "Just over there." "You do realize that normally, I get paid for being filmed." "But this is for charity, eh?" "Excuse me, could we have a little privacy here?" "We need the story and you need the publicity, that's how it works," "Ingo, come over here." "Stupid asshole." "I'd like to introduce you." "Mrs. Wagner, Mr. Wagner, Ingo Schmitz." "It's a pleasure." "No problem." "I have good contacts with actors' agencies in Hollywood now." "I think it's best if we discuss the details in private." "How about tomorrow morning, around nine?" "Before this place gets busy again?" "No problem for me." "Where?" "Why not right here, on the terrace?" "I can't stand this stench." "That asshole deserves to be shot." "Ingo, did you just pass gas?" " What?" " Oh, nothing." "This sure has been worth your while too, though, hasn't it?" "I mean, it's been a great success." "Sure, super." "Loads of new connections." "I hardly think that's possible." "Ingo, these are the kinds of expenses I gave you the money for." "So if that's what he wants, get him a hooker." "It can't be that hard." "But you told me that this, this." "Bullet-Harry-guy..." "Listen, don't you ever call him that." "It's Mr. Grabowski for everyone." "What's up your ass?" "Fine." "Mr. Grabowski then." "You said he was a good friend of yours." "Sure." "Damn it, all you need to do is introduce us." "Yes, hello?" "Hello Jasmin." "Hey, do you want to go out for a bite to eat, later on?" "I have an awful lot to get done today." "Too bad." "I was thinking, just you, me, and Melanie, you know?" "Well, I do have a lot to get done, but a man's gotta eat sometime." "Great." "There's this new lounge that's opened up in Dortmund, the Kookaburra." "What do you say, 8 o'clock?" "I may be a little late, but I'll definitely be there." "Great." "Look forward to it." "See you then, bye." " What?" " I have a date tonight." "What, with Jasmin, that stupid bitch?" "Yeah, but Melanie, aka Glamour Girl, is coming, too." " You're kidding." " Sure thing." "I've already had my dick inside her, too." "She used to work at my old man's company." " That is one birdbrained chick." " But hot." "Bianca cancelled on me for tomorrow night... and now I need a replacement for the evening gala." "You think you stand a chance with her?" "Not the way you're thinking." "But I'd just love to see the look on Bianca's face when I show up there with Melanie." "Excuse me." "Do you see the gentleman who's just taking a seat over there?" "Excuse me, please." "Would you join me in giving Douglas Burnett, also known as John Striker, a warm welcome?" " What do you want?" " We want to see Mr. Grabowski." " Who are you?" " Mark Kampmann, of Kampmann Tuning." "This is my business partner." "One moment." " What kind of a character is that?" " Just button it, will you!" "You want me to let you take one of my girls along you?" " Not for us." " Excuse me?" "It's like this:" "I'm responsible for this golf tournament." "And we've flown in an actor from America who wants to have some fun during his stay here." "Hollywood calling, huh?" "Who is it?" "You know him?" "Did that happen to be my favourite series?" "Then we have something in common." "Monique, Giselle, Tatjana." "Come over here." " Mr. Grabowski." " For you, it's Harry." "Okay, Harry:" "Just one would be fine." "What?" "I'm on a tight budget." "If John Striker's in town, I wanna be generous." "Just do me one favour." "I want to be in that tournament." "But the player list is already full." "Didn't I just hear you say you're responsible for the tournament?" "Right." "Tomorrow evening, there's a Gala, I could put you on the guest list for that." "That's what I wanted to hear." "You can postpone the credit check for a couple of days, can't you?" "Or what are you a bank director for?" "Wilfried, you know it's a joke for you to threaten to auction off my house just because of a couple of days delay." "Don't lecture me on tax laws." "I know my way around with those." "Or do I have to remind you who set up the black money accounts for you back then?" "Wilfried, let it suffice for me to say this:" "If I go down, you go down with me." "Are we clear on that?" "So, will I be seeing you at the donation party?" "Fine, then we'll have us a drink." " What is it, Kettwig?" " I have another question here." "Somehow, I can't understand these accounting entries." "For example:" "The invoice for the catering amounts to 34,000 Euros but we only transferred 22,000." "What about the difference?" "Yes, Ingo!" "Were you able to meet Douglas' delicate request?" "What?" "Three?" "I see you "finally got my motto;" "always go the whole nine yards!"" "What about your fucking manners?" "Come on, Kettwig." "Some fucking will do you good." " Hi." " Hi, everything alright?" "I've never been to this place before." " Cool, huh?" " Fancy." "So where's your friend, Melanie?" "Please." "Don't ask." "She cancelled last-minute." "She's depressed." "Depressed?" "You know, she was discovered by this music producer in Mallorca." "Guy must have had serious dough." "Anyway, they got together and he made her famous." "Well, now he's with someone else and right away he records an album with her too." "So now, Melanie's full of self-doubt and all that kind of stuff." "I'll have the chicken salad without dressing." "And you?" "I can't stand to hear this anymore, you know?" "I mean, she made loads of money, she's super-famous." "What's her problem?" "Maybe." "I'm going to the ladies' room." "The number you have dialed is temporarily not available." "Please leave a message after the beep." "Hi, it's Ingo." "The guy at the bar last night." "I guess I made a bad impression, but I'd like... to see you again." "Maybe you could call me back, that would be nice." "Okay, see you," "Hey, baby." "Don't go too far away." "Hey, Matthies." "Why don't we move this whole party down to the pool area?" "It's closed by now." "Look at the time!" "If a Douglas Burnett wants to swim, they'd better jump." " This is an international hotel, isn't it?" " I guess you've got a point there." " Kettwig." " Kettwig, I need the phone." "Oh, one moment." "Ladies and gentlemen, now for the absolute highlight:" "This Porsche has been slightly optimized by my company, Kampmann Tuning." "The basis is a 911." "We gave it the hardtop of a 959." "They only built 500 of those back then, and they were only sold to VIP's such as Boris Becker." "We completely re-designed the fenders, which further improved the CW value." "Douglas Burnett, famous from the 1980's American series John Striker... is toying with the idea of taking one of our special Porsches back home with him to the USA." "Are you mad?" "The glass front had just been finished." "What are you looking at me for?" "Did you see me driving it?" "We were talking about some little nice pictures." "But well dripped." "Are you totally out of your mind?" "!" "Do you realize what kind of trouble we'll both be in if this shit comes out?" "I have studied my character in great detail." "Now cut the crap!" "You are Horst Muller, and you will always be Horst Muller." "In your small-time cabaret you can shit on the stage." "But from now on, you pull yourself together." "Is that understood?" "And now I need some peace and quiet for a minute." "Please." "Damn." "Great excitement at the golf club in Unna Fröndenberg." "Douglas Burnett, famous TV-star from the series "John Striker"" "arrived for the opening of a charity golf tournament." "I don't believe it." "Bianca!" "Come here." "Quick." "Look at this." "That guy is really pulling out all the stops." "I know." "He even has his next job lined up already." "Some coup for PEEP" " He sent me a message a while ago." " Really?" "Douglas Burnett and I have several things in common you know." "Not just acting." "Monica." "Charly." "Are you online right now?" "Look, I want you to check if there are any flights to Dortmund tomorrow morning." "Call me back." "Yep, bye." "What's that all about?" "Do you think I'm gonna let that jerk pick out all the raisins?" "But the man is totally down to earth." "Okay, in thirty minutes." "I need some fresh air anyway those Joy of Life allotments." "Melanie" "Okay, I've given it some more thought." "I'll pay you 500 Euros." "Yes, each." "But I need you here right now - at the Radisson." "Here 500." "Got yourselves a nice little deal, didn't you?" " We're worth money." " I hope so." "Okay, do your thing." "If you want anything to eat, call room service." "He's not coming anymore." "Over here." " What are you doing here?" " Hi." "Sit down." " Did you drink all of those?" " Do you want one, too?" "Sure, thanks." "Cheers." "Nice here." "I used to hate it." "All I wanted was to get away." "And now?" "Now..." "I'm sitting here again." "It's not so bad here." "Especially, when you're standing in the Spotlight." "I'm getting a feeling of what that's like... not like you, of course." "Did you hear that, too?" "An animal or something." "I hope it's not the owner." "This doesn't belong to your family?" "It belonged to my parents but they split up and sold it." "What do your parents do now?" "Why are you so interested?" "Well, I'm sorry, but... here you are, sitting all alone, drinking beer on some allotment..." "It's not just some allotment..." "Your allotment It raises some questions." "And what if I don't like that?" "Then why did you invite me here?" "Why did you call me?" "Look, I'll be straight with you." "I met Jasmin and she told me you weren't doing so great." "So I thought I'd give you a call." "But hey, I don't want to intrude." "Sorry, I'm just not used to anyone being interested in my problems." "For what, then?" "You know, I noticed you back in school, too." "I just never dared to talk to you." "Really?" "You were always too cool." "That was all just a show." "I know." "Cuz now I know show business..." "You know, you remind me of my girlfriend." "(TV) So, which word is the answer... (TV) Call now..." "(TV) Does anybody hear me?" "(TV) The countdown is on..." "(TV) What is the answer?" "(TV) Call now and win the money." "(TV) Is anybody awake out there?" "Can anybody hear me?" "It's open." "Wow." "What kind of car is this?" "It's not mine." "Just borrowed, for the tournament." "So, where to?" "Is it all right for me to have no sympathy for that?" "Why can't you just spend the night at Nadine's?" "The problem is:" "One, it's the middle of the night... and I have to get up at seven in the morning." "Two, Nadine goes to work at seven in the morning." "And three," "Nadine and I broke up two weeks ago." "Shit." "And what if you slept at the Radisson tonight?" "Just say the room's on me." "I have connections there." "Why don't you go to the hotel?" "What kind of an impression does that make?" "Why can't you just take her to your place?" "Man, I moved back in with my parents four months ago." "Just do me a favour." "Put the key in the flowerpot and put fresh sheets on the bed." "So this is how you live?" "Why?" "Doesn't suit you, somehow." " You hardly know me." " True." "Do you study law?" "Started to, but too boring." "Have a seat." "Thank you." " Would you like a drink?" " Do you have prosecco?" "I'm sure I do." "I'll be right back." "Don't go away." "So, my little bunny, here comes the big bad wolf." "But why do you have such a big dick?" "All the better to fuck you with!" "Jürgen, are you in there?" "That Mischa Hahn is taking the sauna to pieces." "I want to go home." "Dieter." "Dieter, listen." "You have to help me." "But Jürgen, what's the matter?" "Good evening." "I left for a little while and when I came back, I found her dead on the bed." "She probably had too much of that stuff and that's it." "Lights out." " We have to call an ambulance." " Kettwig." "She's dead." "Okay then, the police." "Are you crazy?" "The room's in my name." "Do you realize what will happen if this goes public?" "But it's not our fault." "Makes no difference, some mud always sticks in situations like these." "If this gets out, we'll have to cancel the tournament... and the kids in Romania won't get a cent." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "I'll be right back, okay?" "It's Bianca's own fault." "It never would have come to this if she were here." "So what's the problem?" "There's a gorgeous woman out there." "And don't you let me down." "Maybe this will help." "Shit." "Good connections, my ass." "They're really pissed off at you, here." "Kettwig, give me a hand." "Jürgen, what are you doing?" "We throw her down." "Yeah, but we can't do that." "Why not, are you afraid she might die a second time?" "You know, I've seen a lot, but this beats everything." "I don't know who your Hollywood actor thinks he is but someone's going to have to come up for all this," "or I'll call in the police." "I'm sure we can settle this some other way." "How high would you estimate the damage?" "Sorry." "Hello?" " Hey, good thing I got you on the phone." " Charly!" "I want you to pick me up at the airport at 11:20." " Not tomorrow, tonight." " Oh, tonight." "Yeah, man. 11:20 at the airport." "I'm expecting you." "Sure, sure." "I'll be there." "I've got more on my mind than just your Benz, right now." "All it needs is a fender." "Easy for you to say, the entire electronics system is hooked up to that." "I'll help you with it." "Can't you pick up your car tomorrow?" "It's not mine?" "What?" "Whose is it then?" "It belongs to my boss, Charly." "You know that asshole." "He'll fire me, if the car won't be fixed." "No, no, no!" "Leave me alone!" "I'm not putting up with this shit anymore." "Look at my eye." "You are all nuts." "I'm outta here." "This is insane." "Why is the door locked?" "!" "Unlock it right now!" "We'll just sink the body in the trout pond over in Billmerich." "What's he up to?" "What's with this shit?" "We're finished." "This is my land." "Get out of my way." "What's this all about?" "You can't do this." "You bet I can." "You had plenty of time to pay the rent." "But why?" "We already." "I told you, you'll get your damned money." "Next week, right after the tournament." "I don't want your stinking money." "I'm turning your golf course back into valuable farming land." "You are a thorn in my eye!" "Always have to have everything, but you never want to work for it." " Out of my way!" " Please, stop this!" " Are you out of your mind?" " He would have run us over." "You saw it." " Oh God, Jürgen!" "What'll we do now?" " Let me think!" "We'll bury the other body here, too." " And if I testify it was self-defense?" " That'll do no good." "I shot the guy." "Don't you get that?" "So get the body." "Morning, Kettwig!" " Up with the lark... as they say." " Yeah, sure." "You're getting a few practice swings to warm up for the tournament, aren't you." "Kettwig, that's cheating." "Naughty you." " Gosh, yeah." " Where's Matthies?" " Matthies?" " That's his car, isn't it?" "Oh yeah." "He lent it to me." " Has the guy from BEEP been here yet?" " Who?" "Mr. Wagner, the manager you introduced me to yesterday." "No, he isn't here yet." "Still not here." "Great." "Then I'm on time." "See you later." "And no cheating." "Well, look who's here." "Morning, Kettwig." "Up early too, eh?" "Well, yeah." "Just doing a few practice swings." "I guess they call that unfair competition." "We're doing the same thing." "Taking advantage of having home field." "Like to join us for a round?" "Okay." "That's exactly what we'll do." "You make me a few offers, ideally in varying price categories." "Then I will discuss them with the chairmen." "Okay, I'll get on it." "But now I have to go to the airport." "Stress..." "You're telling me." "And sorry again for being late." "Not my style, at all." "A pleasure." "Talk to you soon." "My dear Kettwig." "I've seen you in better form." "It's no wonder." "Hasn't had a hole-in-one in a long time." "What's keeping that idiot?" "Who do you mean?" "Ingo." "Who else?" "Wait a minute:" "You didn't seriously ask Ingo to pick us up here?" "He'll find out the truth sooner or later." "Well, here's another truth:" "You are an incredible asshole!" "That's what makes me so sexy." "What's the matter with you?" "Where are you going?" "Stupid bitch." "I'll be right there." "What could I do?" "I had a meeting." "I'll be there in twenty minutes." "Forget it." "I'm gonna take a cab and go get some sleep." "Bring the Benz straight to my hotel." "Wanker." " How come you left the key in the trunk?" " What else was I supposed to do?" "They saw me and so did Ingo." "Who else could have passed off the body?" " Dieter, calm down, okay?" " We'll work it all out." "Believe me." "About the rent." "What was that about, anyway?" "What exactly do you mean?" "You get your money right after the tournament?" "Yeah, that's exactly what it means." "Right after the tournament." "You said you had paid the rent." "No, I said I have everything under control." "You never intended to send the donations to Romania, did you?" "Know what?" "You go get some rest for a couple of hours and then everything will look very different." "Believe me." "I'll come in with you for a minute." "That's nice." " Is your mother here?" " No, she's on a health cure." "So?" "Was he peaceful?" "Everything okay?" "Where is Douglas Burnett?" "I don't know where is Douglas Burnett." "But I know where is Horst Muller." "I want ten thousand Euros, or I talk." "I don't have that much." "How much you have?" "Everything okay?" "What do you want?" "I was worried." "Did you have a good time with your little girlfriend?" "Excuse me?" "Did you have a good time with your little whore?" "I don't know what you are talking about" "You don't?" "Then fuck me." "Here." "Now." "You're drunk again." "I said, fuck me!" "Leave me alone." "What do you need that little slut for, if you can't even satisfy me?" "If I hadn't invested so much money in your stupid face I'd punch it right now." "That's all bullshit." "You played your part fine." "None of those idiots noticed a thing." "You fooled them all." "Sometimes, even I thought you were Douglas Burnett." "Really." "Mark, sorry, I can't right n..." "Oh, shit." "Okay, I'll be right over." "Do you know where the hookers are?" "What hookers?" " What hookers do you think?" " No idea." "Okay, we're calling the whole thing off." "This shit has gone too far." "Yeah?" "And how will you do that?" "I'll go to the gala this evening." "Without you." "I'll tell them Douglas Burnett left, went back to the States." "While you pack your stuff, go home to Kornwestheim." "And resume the comfortable life of Horst Muller." "And the nightmare is over." "I gotta go." "Thanks for everything." "You were good." "Very good." " Is everything okay?" " I doubt it." "You know, I have a reputation for being very serious about my job." "As a good employer, I take care of my girls." "That's why we have a little house rule which says they have to call good old Harry every morning... ten o'clock sharp." "So he doesn't have to worry, you know?" "And now look, it's almost twelve... and I still haven't heard from sweet little Giselle." "I have no idea." "Let's not start all that." "Okay?" "I entrusted three of my girls to you." "That means you're responsible for them." "Little Giselle didn't come home." "So, where is she?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "Okay, new approach:" "Mark, gotta calculator?" " Sure." " Punch this in." "Mark, I said." "So." "Giselle is young." "She could work for me another five to seven years." "Let's say six." "365 days a year minus about." "60 days leave for natural reasons." "That's six times 300." "Right, Mark?" "Got it." "Giselle has a good body, a good working attitude." "Harkan, how much does she make on average?" "A hundred and fifty." "That's a bit high." "Let's say one hundred." "Got that, Mark?" " Got it." " Minus thirty per cent, makes how much?" "One-hundred twenty-six thousand." "I'm flat broke." "Really." "What about the Benz?" "Good." "Tonight, I sit next to Douglas Burnett, is that clear?" "I've been waiting for my car for five hours and now the tournament is about to begin." "Listen, pal, I'll tell you something:" "This is the last time I..." "Ingo." "Where have you been all night?" "I was worried." " Mom, I'm grown up." " Come here a minute." " I can't right now." " You have company." "Hello Ingo." "I wanted to surprise you." "You don't look very pleased." "What is it?" " I need to tell you something." " What?" "Ingo." "We still need to go over the sequence of events." "Who the hell is Harald Grabowski?" "He's a friend of mine." "And he absolutely has to sit at our table?" "Well, he doesn't know anyone else." "But he's also a good businessman, and has loads of money." "I'll just go see how it's going in the kitchen." " Excuse me, would you come here a second?" " What?" "Ouch." " What is wrong with you?" " Are you crazy, showing up here?" "What do you want from me?" "I happen to be here with someone else." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Matthies?" "Hi, I'm Charly, Ingo's boss." "Everything alright here?" "Mr. Matthies." "Did you get over last night okay?" "You really are out of it." "Guess what?" "I was just heading for the men's room to freshen up." "What do you think?" "Come on." "A little bit of coke'll get you back on top." "You're my man." "Ladies first." "Mrs. Wagner." "May I introduce Bianca, my girlfriend?" "Dr. Wagner." "Chairman at BEEP..." "I knew a man like you would have eye-candy by his side." "This is my dear wife." " It's a pleasure." " Likewise" "Excuse me." "Excuse me, there's something I need to handle." "No problem." "Do your job." "We'll keep your charming girlfriend company." "Hey, come here." "What?" "What?" "You okay?" "It's been worth going through old Charly's tough school, eh?" "Listen, I've thought about everything." "In the future, you rock the local events all by yourself and I'll handle the big fish, okay?" " But Charly, I..." " What?" "What is it?" "Listen, we'll settle the details tomorrow when you bring me back my car." "Okay?" "Boy, you look a mess." "After all, you work for me." "All right, you'll be fine here." "That's wrong." "Get the boss, now." "What's the problem?" "Ingo, finally." "Please tell the lady here that good old Harry is a guest of honor." "The Benz is here." "Do you have the money?" "All set, see you later." "Can't you keep it down in there?" "Why didn't you say you were bringing more people?" "I only arranged for one seat at our table." "You'll work it out." "I'm relying on you." "We went ahead and took our seats." "Weren't you seated somewhere else?" "Well, this is where our place-cards are." "I thought you'd arranged this so Doug and I could talk a little bit." "Mischa." "There's a couple really getting it on in the ladies' room." "Where are Doug and my wife?" "No idea." "Where's Mr. Grabowski's place-card?" "It was here a minute ago." " How should I know?" " Who's Kettwig?" "He's a member of the golf club here." "Where is he, anyway?" "He had something to discuss with farmer Buschschulte." "Some argument over rent." " Then that's my seat now." " Who is that, anyway?" "Mr. Grabowski, the business friend I told you about earlier." "Hello." "Bianca." "I'm Ingo's girlfriend." "Oh?" "And what do you do for a living?" "I do PR." "Now and then." "Well, look here." "Ingo, your girl looks like she's in pretty good shape." "We just got a vacancy in our company." "Maybe I could work something out." "That would be great!" "Come on, Mandy." "Sit down." "And you three go mingle." "There's enough space here, right?" "Hold it." "These seats are all reserved for our club members." "Look, I'm getting kind of tired of all this." "Jürgen, what's going on here?" "I don't know." "This gentleman here." "Well, well, well, don't I know you from somewhere?" "Except you haven't introduced me to your enchanting wife." "How do you do, my name is Grabowski." "How charming." "I'm Ulrike Scheurer." "How do you know my husband?" "We've done business together a couple of times." "I believe you know my assistant, Mandy." "Hello." "We've had the pleasure." "So you're a dentist, too?" "No, no." "I'm in real estate." "Yes, Mr. Grabowski helped me find our vacation home." "Imagine that." "...and then I actually got into a traffic accident... with Michael and the cop says:" "Well, weren't you speeding a little, Mr. Schumacher" "And Michael's like:" "Oh, really, that's just not like me at all." "What were you doing in there?" "What are you talking about?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about." "What you were doing in there." "I wasn't doing anything." "I went to the loo." " And then?" " Just leave me alone." "What you were doing in there, bitch!" "Leave me!" "Do you really have to make a fool of me in front of all these people?" "Now that's enough." "You're talking to a woman." "How I talk to my wife is none of your business." "As long as I'm at the same table it certainly is my business." "I didn't invite you to sit here." "Now that's a man with manners." "He always talks to me like that." "Now shut up!" "Damn it!" "Listen here, pal." "You talk to the lady like that one more time... you and I are going outside to settle this like men." "Is that clear?" "Very well." "Sergeij is here." "Hey, here you are!" "The last couple of days I wanted nothing more than to be here with you." "And now that it's happening..." "I don't feel anything anymore." "Well." "How can I answer that?" "When did it actually go wrong between us?" "About two years ago, maybe." "If this is where it ends with us, then the last couple of days, I wasn't at the North Sea..." " I was with Charly..." " Yeah." "I kind of figured that." "I'm not totally stupid." "I never thought you were." "But Charly is a real asshole." "I know." "I could've told you that long ago." "Charly is a real asshole." " I guess I'll be going back inside." " Do that." "I'll just stay out here a little while longer." "Excuse me?" "Excuse me!" "You have something to do with this event, don't you?" "Couldn't you just give us a short statement?" "No, no, sorry, I..." "Come on." "Just one or two words." "A short comment, maybe." "We can do it right here." "Okay." "What do you want to hear?" "If you want to, I could read the book too." "Who asked you, wino." "Good evening." "Routine traffic check." "Driver's license and registration papers, please." "Registration papers are back with colleague." "We're only doing a test-drive." "Do you have a first-aid kit and a warning triangle with you?" "Yes." "Maybe in the trunk." "I'd like to see that." "Would you open it, please?" "They're just doing a test-drive." "Just the first-aid kit." "I just want to check that." "And what is this?" " Man, what is this?" "!" "Hey, shit!" " Hands behind your head!" "Now!" "What the hell were you trying to pull on me?" "Did you really think you'd get away with a stunt like that?" "I don't know what." "Now listen, son." "The vehicle John Striker drove was, of course, the classic 308 GTB but certainly never a Testarossa." "I don't know who that monkey is you dragged in, but it certainly isn't Douglas Burnett." "While I'm sitting in there making a fool of myself, you're out here having a laugh, is that right?" "You already fucked me once today." "You're not doing it a second time." "Here, the money for the Benz." " Really?" "Is that all?" " But you okayed it." "Ladies and gentlemen, dear club members, this is the president speaking." "Before we move on to the pleasant part of this evening," "I'd like us all to take a moment to remember... that not all people on earth areas privileged... to enjoy the standard of living we have here." "You know our project, the orphanage in Romania, that is so dear to me." "All the donations we gather here go to the children, who are in desperate need of our help." "Therefore, I would like to thank our sponsors who donated all these things you see here behind me." "Most of all, Mr. Kampmann of Kampmann Car-Tuning." "Mr. Kampmann." "Is he here?" "Well, I don't know." "But let's have a round of applause anyway." "To make sure these items go at a high price, we've thought up something very special." "Ladies and gentlemen... an auction." "It will be chaired by none other than our guest of honor, patron of the campaign Generosity Unlimited" "Will you please join me in welcoming." "From the TV-series John Striker." "Ladies and gentlemen." "Good evening." "I am Horst Müller." "I've just played the role of my life." "You all fell for it." "The role of Douglas Burnett was merely a glimpse of my talent and I want you all to know that I am not." "You asshole, you dirty little asshole." "You've ruined me!" "I'm ruined!" "Ruined!" "It was meant to be an evening of glamour and glory, but it turned out quite different." "Last night, the charity event at a golf club in Unna, Westphalia, ended in a bloody massacre." "The club appears to have been the victim of an impersonator pretending to be the American actor Douglas Burnett, famous for the role of John Striker." "When the impersonator confessed his true identity during the evening's Gala event, the president of the association violently beat him to death with a golf club and was immediately taken under arrest by the alerted local law enforcement." "In charge of the tournament was renowned party manager Charly Neubauer." "He is currently wanted by the police." "As you can see for yourself, my concept is perfect." "Don't ever forget guests at such an event want to see something for their money." "Yes, but that's no reason a man had to die." "No comment..." "Well, it looks like some people certainly got their money's worth." " I guess so, Thomas." " Well if it's that easy," "I'll go buy myself a blond wig tomorrow and do "Wetten, dass" next Saturday." "No one will ever notice." "I don't know if that's a good idea." "You saw how that can end up." "Yeah, with a headache..." "No, I'll get back on the right track." "Just like this young man here." "You know what, in the long run." "You can't fool anyone." "I learned that during the last 48 hours." "And that's why, I'm now driving home to my parents' house." "I've moved in back after a total fiasco in the stock market." "There, I'll lie down in my childhood bed and wait for the nightmare to pass." "Have a nice evening." " Can we carry on?" " Yes." "Of course." "Police and justice department are faced with an unusual mystery:" "Normally, criminals leave no trails, one would think." "But the exact opposite was the case after a bank robbery in Krefeld, where police have not one, but two confessed robbers in custody." "That was hard work, I tell you." "Listen, this is the deal:" "They have nothing on you." "Not even the Russian testified against you." "Do you actually have any idea what a good lawyer costs nowadays?" "A hot cup of coffee." "Hey!" "Stefan." "Thanks." "That was delicious, Mom, but I have to go now." "Well, at least we had you for one hour." "Where are you going?" "I have something important to take care of." "It doesn't happen to have anything to do with this?" "Her career ended after two more or less successful hits." "What's next." "Alcoholism and depression?" "Can her new lover, a wanna-be-party- manager from her home town help?" "I don't believe this." "Those assholes." "Make the best of it." "Do you think she's right for him?" "Nude pictures." "At least he knows what he's getting, eh?" " Oh, Dad, could I borrow your car?" " So now it's good enough for you, huh?" "Go ahead, but don't get in any accidents." "Two arms in casts would mean us having to feed you for another six months." "That wouldn't be so terrible." "Hey!" "Yeah, I just read it, too." "No." "No, I have not." "Come on, I don't think it's funny."