"Aleksandra." "Why do you address me so solemly?" "Just call me Shura." "Shura is a hissing name." "And what suits you is a slender and ringing one." "Allow me to call you Aleksandra." "As you like." "But it's too long, you'll get tired." "How did you spend these two days?" "What two days?" "The two days we didn't see each other." "Yes, that's right." "I last saw you on Tuesday." "Exactly." "What time was it?" "I think it was at 6." "At 6:10." "In the afterglow of the sunset." "You speak in such a strange manner." "There's nothing strange about it." "Didn't you notice the afterglow?" "I did." "You appeared then..." "It's sharp, not flat!" "Watch your left arm!" "How are you feeling?" "I'm fine, thank you." "It's just that I get tired these days." "I'm very tired now too." "Lie down then, have a nap." "What for?" "You should lie down." "I rest while sitting." "How did you spend these two days?" "Why are you asking?" "Does it show?" "No." "Although, I don't know." "What should show?" "I've been thinking a lot these days." "Although, not more than usually." "But this time about the same thing." "It's tiresome." "Yes." "You shouldn't have." "This hectic rhythm only exhausts you." "Aleksandra." "You're scaring me with this name." "I'm sorry." "So..." "Would you like to know what I've been thinking about these two days?" "I think I would." "At least, if it's decorous." "I was thinking" "that it would be very good and right for us to get married." "Why aren't you saying anything?" "Don't turn me down, please." "I understand, I'm not good-looking..." "Or, rather, my face is unpleasant." "No at all." "Your face is not unpleasant at all." "Yes, it is." "Plus, I'm not of an athletic build." "Am I?" "You're so hard on yourself." "All of it is true." "Can I continue?" "Aleksandra?" "Yes, do continue." "Only... stop trembling, please." "It tires me." "Okay." "We've known each other only for ten days, but the minute I saw you at Bedhudov's name-day party," "I completely lost my individuality..." "I lost my face..." "I can think and talk only about you." "You're like Sistine Chapel, you have many shades." "My income is comparatively low, but it will become higher." "I'll be famous." "I'll tell you how later." "No one will ever love you like I do." "Marry me." "I'll be frank with you, Pavlik." "I also liked you at once when I saw you at Bedhudov's name-day party." "I've been thinking about you occasionally during these ten days, although in this hectic rhythm of life one forgets about many things." "But I don't really know what to say..." "It's just that I'm... not ready yet." "I'm just not prepared for this." "I'm just asking you not to turn me down flatly." "I'm not turning you down flatly." "Tell me you rather agree." "Well," "I rather agree." "Farewell, Aleskandra." "I'm leaving now and I'll be back in two days." "Don't turn me down, please." "It might sound ridiculous," "but" "I love you so much like no one has ever loved another person." "Yeah." " Of course, you heard everything." " I did." "Yes, Shura, I certainly did." "In spite of my will." "I would never listen to your intimate conversations with young men." "But you know the sound permeability here." "Mum, how can you talk about sound permeability now?" "What kind of man is he, Shura?" "If only I knew." "You see, some people reveal themselves at once, and some do it gradually." "It's individual." "Maybe, what I see in him is only one facet." "How did you meet?" " Did someone introduce him?" " Mum, no one introduces anyone these days!" " I hope it's not a street meeting." " It's not." "We met at Bedhudov's name-day party." "So he is a friend of Bedhudov's." "And he was invited." "It speaks in his favour." "Bedhudov..." "Although, I've always told you, if only you behaved a tiny bit smarter..." "Mum!" " Don't even think about talking about it." " Okay, okay." "We won't talk about it." " But sturdiness never brings happiness." " Mum, please!" "Okay, okay." "What's his name?" "Pavlik." " Faryatev." " Faryatev?" "Is he an Ossetian?" "Mum, why should he be an Ossetian?" "It seemed to me that there was something Eastern about him." "Yeah." "What does he do?" "He's a dentist." "A dental mechanic?" "I don't know the details." "A dentist." "You know, Shura, it speaks in his favour." "One can endure TB on one's feet, but with tooth-ache one will run to the dentist's at once." "Mum, don't you understand to what extent this is irrelevant now?" "What is important is whether his love for me is genuine." "What if it's just his fantasy?" "What if he's a flippant person?" "Certainly, Shura." "If there's no feelings, there's nothing to talk about." "Hello, my dear." "Why are you so late?" "I've warmed up the dinner for the second time." "Why am I late?" "I hurried." "I went like an arrow." "But time flies so fast today." "Needless to say, you didn't eat anything in the morning." "Probably not." "I somehow didn't notice." "This day is absolutely incredible." "Incredible?" "So you felt it as well?" "I feel it too." "Today is truly an incredible day." "Go wash your hands then." "I'll be back in a minute." "Why are you so late, Pavlusha?" "Am I really?" "Today" "I can't keep track of time." "You can't keep track of time you say." "And I can feel it with every single cell of my body." "What?" "And I can feel time with every single cell of my body." "With every single one of my old nerves." "Boy, you don't know what waiting for old age is." "All day" "I'm talking to you." "In my mind, obviously." "Auntie." "I've had an incredible day." "It may well be that I've been waiting for it my whole life." "Well," "I always knew that people close to each other have a single soul." "This my feeling passed on to you." "Eat, Pavlusha." "We've got carp in sour cream." " You know..." " You know..." "Eat, and I'll do the talking." "Let the old woman talk." "I gather my impressions of every day by small pieces." "Because every day matters to me." "I had an absolutely incredible dream today." "It was in colour." "I was in some strange-looking garden." "It was beautiful, but somehow decorative." "And I didn't particularly like this garden." "But suddenly there was a gust of wind," "I looked at the sky, and then, Pavlusha, all the starts assembled into constellations." "Each constellations turned its own colour, and mauve deer rushed across the sky, along with red dogs, yellow bears, green fish" " it was staggering." "I haven't been able to identify a single constellation my whole life." "And I woke up so happy." "I forgot that I was old, and I understood that it would be an incredible day." "If there's no feelings, there's nothing to talk about." "Of course, if there's no feelings, there's nothing to talk about." "Hello." "Lyubov, what are you trying to achieve?" "Tell me." "Do you want me to have a brain haemorrhage?" "Or do you want me to send a wire to your father immediately?" "I'm talking to you, Lyubov!" "What's wrong?" "When did the classes end and what time is it now?" "Where have you been?" "I haven't been anywhere." "What have you been doing?" "I haven't been doing anything." "Where will we end up like this?" "We won't end up anywhere." "Calm down." "Where will we end up like this, Lyuba?" "Of course, Shura, if there's no feelings..." "And why do you think there's no feelings?" "Do you have reasons not to believe Pavel?" "Mum, I don't know." "Then look into his past." "Man lives rhythmically." "Even his impulses are rhythmical." "Mum, how on earth can I learn about him?" "Shura, you're incredibly naive." "He's a friend of Bedhudov's." "Bedhudov is a very shrewd person." "If you feel awkward yourself," "I can talk to him." "I'll do in a subtle and delicate manner." "Mum!" " You can't reproach me for being tactless." " Mum, don't even think about it!" "Don't even think about it, got it?" "Don't you dare!" "This Faryatev doesn't exist, and he won't!" "Remember that!" "I'm decided about that!" "And I forbid you!" ".." "Okay." "Suit yourself." " What are you eating?" " I'm not eating anything." "The dinner is in the oven." "I'm not going to eat those lousy cutlets." "Why are they lousy?" "Cutlets yesterday, and the day before yesterday..." "We've been eating the same lousy cutlets for the whole week." "They are not the same, these are new ones!" "They are lousy anyway." "Lyubov, what are you trying to achieve?" "Do you earn money to fulfil your whims?" "I can do without touching anything!" "I'd rather starve to death!" "Don't you dare shout!" "You're not in the street." "I don't shout in the street." "Open a can of squid then." "Where is it?" "It's not proper food." "You need to have a dinner." "You will ruin your stomach completely." "Mum, let her eat what she wants, will you!" "Of course." "Of course." "I mean nothing at all for you." "You take me for an oaf." "Oh God." "Why did I decide to have children?" "Not a single nice word from them." "I'm like a stranger to them." "They literally hate me." "They insult me." " I can't even..." " Mum!" "Stop it!" "It's not true." "Yes, it is." "It's true." "It's life." "You'll understand it when you have your own children." "It's not that bad." "We love you very much." "Yes, maybe." "Maybe you will love me when I'm in the cemetery." "What I want so badly is for this to happen while I'm alive." "Who are the cakes for?" "For you." "You bought them?" "Does it matter?" " How nice of you!" " Give mum a kiss." "Mum, it's not my fault that I hate these lousy cotlets." "Mind your language, Lyuba." "Where did you go after school?" "I didn't go anywhere." "And who left our appartment just now?" "That incredible man." "What is so incredible about him?" "You where standing by the entrance." "Who with?" "Is he a pharmaceutist?" "No." "It's strange." "Does he have a squint?" "Lyuba, it's silly." "Indeed, Lyuba, it's silly." "There's nothing out of common about him." "He is... quite a..." " dignified man." " I didn't say he wasn't." "I liked him very much." " It's a refreshment." " Oh God!" "Don't use those slang words." "He's our fiancé." "He's Aleksandra's fiancé." "You'll drive me crazy." "I'll go put the kettle on." "Let's have tea, sit and talk a bit." "Let's have tea with jam and discuss everything." "One can't deal with it just like that." "Is he really your fiancé?" "No." "Why not?" "I advice you to marry him." "Bedhudov called you." "Did he?" "What an incredible man!" "Right, Pavlusha?" "He probably is, auntie." "Maybe we can't even fully appreciate what an incredible man he is." "Bedhudov..." "What did he want?" "He wanted to know when you'd be home." "Listen, Pavlik, my classmate died." "An incredible man and an incredible doctor." "May he rest in peace." "In my age, the death of a person of the same age is the first sign." "Come now." "No gloomy thoughts." "Yes, at first I was struck." "And then," "I thought affectionately about him." "He had a heart condition." "Heart diseases are the curse of our time." "I know that it's unwise, but I rate it among our sense organs." "People really die of love, of joy, of grief." "Regardless of a diagnosis, the result is the same - heart fails." "It can't be helped." "You're a poet, auntie." "No." "I'm an analyst." "Today, I received an unexpected letter." "You know how excited I get opening envelopes." "I read the return address and what did I see?" "Polotsk." "Polotsk?" "Yes, Polotsk." "Do you understand?" "Polotsk..." "I know something about it, but what..." "Sonya, the cousin of me and your late mother's, lives in Polotsk." "We used to live together when we were children." "Yes..." "Among old books and exercise-books," "I once found a note-book." "In it, were dates of birth of my old friends and relatives." "You can't imagine how my hands were trembling!" "There were dates of birth of people I have long forgotten about." "How strange life is!" "There was en entry about Sonya too." "I immediately went to buy a present for her" " maybe, not the most suitable one - and send her with a letter." "The first letter in so many years." "I've forgotten about it altogether, and today, all of a sudden, I got a reply." "And what a letter, Pavlusha!" "She's a miserable person." "She's all alone." "Her husband died." "I became so ashamed and scared." "And to cap it all, she wants to make an embroidery for me, as a keepsake." "She makes bead embroideries." "Auntie." "Look at me carefully and tell me, is there something in me?" "At least, something that could be attractive." "Well?" "Or, at least, arouse some kind of" "liking for me." "Come to that," "I'll tell you." "I'm getting married too." "Very soon." "We'll be already married by summer." "I realize that I have little time left to live." "After 40, it's not life any more." "And I don't want to miss a single hour of the time I have." "I realize I don't love him." "But my attitude to love is not gushing." "My attitude is sober." "He will become a prominent physicist." "Even now, Bohr is not a model for him." "I don't want to languish here, and turn into such a feeble-minded dumb cluck as mum." "She and father ruined their life." "I don't intend to pay for their sins." "Shura," "I'm telling you this in private - marry him." "Do marry him." "It doesn't matter that you don't love him." "Love is nonsense." "It's a load of tosh." "I never told you this, but in the morning, when you're not wearing make-up, I can hardly look at you." "Look, your hands are already trembling." "You'll languish in this your music school." "Shura, my dear, I love you." "You're my sunshine." "I don't want this for you." "I want you to be happy, to be loved." "I want everything to be alright in your life." "In a couple of years, you won't be able to play at all." "Even your ungifted students will laugh at you." "And in ten years, you'll lose your mind." "Because every day from all sides you'll be told that you lost Faryatev." "You lost Faryatev." "You lost Faryatev." "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "I made a decision, Pavlusha." "I'll do it my way." "Sonya will move here." "We'll exchange her room for a different one." "And then we'll exchange 2 rooms plus 1 for 3." "And during this exchange, me and her will live in a single room." "How?" "Just like that." "I've already written to her about it." "But you... but I..." "How could you write?" "I did." "You understood nothing, Pavlusha, did you?" "I told you about the death of Zuzenko for the heart, because of constant hardship and trouble, gets frustrated and splits." "At first, it cracks like a cup, and then it splits in two." "Zuzenko died." "Mum died." "Maybe it's too late, but I have to do something for Sonya." "But I'm getting married, auntie." "Pavlik, are you really?" "I love her." "But I'm afraid she might turn me down." "Turn down?" "You?" "What about Sonya?" "I'm sorry, Pavlusha." "But you're getting these things into your head, inventing things." "You know," "I used to think that I have to work and nothing else." "That my observations and conclusions demand 24 hours a day," "because" "I have to finish my work." "And now you think differently?" "And now I..." "I want to be with her all the time." "And when I'm not with her," "I become restless." "I become biased, even unfair." "And I can't work." "Well, Pavlusha, it must be your destiny." "I'll cry with joy at your wedding." "I'll wash the dishes and go to Polotsk, to Sonya." "What about me, auntie?" "I love you, after all." "And, besides, you're forgetting that I might get turned down." "Oh, men..." "Who makes you go mad, who makes you lose your judgement if not us." "Is she a blonde?" "She has brown hair," "like mother's, with red streaks." "And brown eyes." "My God," "Pavlusha..." "Sonya will embroider her dress with beads." "Sparkling yellow beads on white chiffon" "and redish hair." "Sonya will be happy." "Where have you been so long?" "Have you been for a walk?" "What is it?" "I've served the table." "I can see it." "What for?" "What do you mean?" "Today is Monday." "Pavel is coming." "Clear the table immediately." "Shura, he's coming to a decent home, and I want him to know it." "Immediately." "Okay." "Okay." "Man has the right to be received decently." "In case of being turned down, or otherwise." "In any case." "Alright then." "I'm leaving." "Sasha!" "He will come after work." "If you're going to turn him down, he at least needs to have a good dinner." "And if you're not, then all the more so." " Don't be so nervous." " Mum!" "Why?" "Why are you always deciding for me?" "Do you remember how old I am?" "I swear," "I won't leave the kitchen." "I'll even turn on the tap." "I also bought cinema tickets for Lyuba," " and she will come late in the evening." " No, I can't take it any longer." "I have to rent a room, otherwise I'll go mad!" "But I want to know." "I have a right to know, after all." "Yes or no?" "Yes or no?" "Just say one word, and we won't talk about it again." "Yes or no?" "Yes or no?" "It's Pavlik!" "Alright then, this is exactly what I thought." "You start beguiling yourself again." "The same old story." "The same eye-conversation again." "I'm coming!" "As soon as some shift happens in your life, some life crisis, he puts his claws into you again." "He's a great man, he's even a genius, but for you he's a villain." "Mum." " Don't you dare." " I dare!" "You're my daughter." "Just a minute!" "What did he promise you?" "What exactly did he say?" "Shura, my girl, my silly girl, everyone's laughing at you." "No," "I will go mad." "No, it's me who'll go mad!" "Okay." "Okay, Shura, just try to understand," "I'm at the end of my nerves," "I can't take it any more!" "Do as you please!" "But if you do this silly thing," "I will die where I stand!" "I swear." "I swear!" "I have nothing else in this life." "I'll get the door." "Go powder your face." "It'll be alright, my girl." "Don't be nervous." "It'll be alright." "Hello, Pavlik." "Let's get acquainted." "We've been waiting for you." "Shura's just come from work, and probably so have you." "Are you hungry?" "Of course, you are." "Unfortunately, I'm in the kitchen." "Women spend 3/4 of their lives in the kitchen." "I rather like it, what about you?" "What am I saying..." "Hello." "Hello." "Have a seat." "Thank you." "Are you hungry?" "No, thank you." "I'm not." "Mum cooked it all for you." "Thank you, I'm not hungry." "I had lunch at work." "She'll take offence." "And you don't want this, do you?" "Of course, I don't." "Eat then." "There's a home-made fruit liqueur." "And then I'll serve the main course." "Fancy a fruit luqueur?" "And you?" "Drink it." "Cheers." "Thanks." "Aleksandra." "Sasha." "Something upsets you?" "What makes you think so?" "You're looking at me like this..." "Like what?" "I'd even say, with hatred." "I've come at the wrong time." "I'll leave." "No, stay where you are." "You've come on business." "Well, one could say so." "Indeed." "So then." "You want a straight answer for a straight question." "One could say so." "Indeed." "If you are ready to give me the answer." "I am." "I am." "Please, wait a bit." "Shura, I'll close the window, there's a draught." "I'll do it myself, mum." "Aleksandra, how do you think," "what dreams are?" "I don't know." "Never thought about it." "Supposing, one person dreams about other person." "He dreams that they happened to be alone, and they feel" "such happiness and serenity, which don't exist in real life." "So what are dreams, after all?" "Dreams are dreams." "And real life is real life." "I understand." "But if one person dreams that it only takes one single phrase, even a stupid one," "and the other will understand one, it's so vital." "Where does it get from in dreams," "if it's different in real life?" "Those are fantasies, nothing more." "I understand." "I know what your answer will be." "I'll leave." "Forgive me." "I didn't mean to offend you." "I don't understand how it could happen." "Why do you think so?" "Think what?" "That you offended me." "I don't know." "It seemed to me." "It's not true." "It's not?" "You didn't offend me." "Is it true?" "Of course." "Just don't leave so soon, you'll offend mum and me too." "Now eat." "It hurt me so much when you looked at me that way." "I can't carry on living with such a look." "I know what you want to tell me." "So you do." "I do." "Good." "Sit down." "Right." "What else could I expect?" "You're the most wonderful woman of all." "I'd do anything to make it hard and sad for me, even something bad." "Something" " stupid..." " Pavlik!" "Let's not talk about it any more." "Okay." "Just don't be sad, please." "There's no reason to." "I'll try to cheer you up." "I can do card tricks." "Do you have cards?" "I guess so." "Fetch them, please." "I'm very good at it." "Bedhudov says I have a gift." "One moment." "Aleksandra, don't move!" "You're so beautiful." "A light beam fell on your eyes, and they became transparent like amber." "Pavlik, you scared me again." "Do you really think you can say everything that comes to your mind?" "I wouldn't recommend you to." "Otherwise, you might repel people." "I'm sorry." "Here you are." "No." "I'll rehearse first." "Pavlik, just don't take offence." "It would be better for me to tell you this than anyone else, right?" "Oops." "In fact, I'm glad." "I'm glad that we understood each other." "Is something wrong?" "No." "It' just that I have to get the hang of it." "It's almost like a stage performance." "Don't take offence at my recieving you like this." "It's just that I get very tired at work." "That's why I don't like meaningless conversations." "It's so... tiresome." " I've to do a lot of talking at work too." " It's strange." "I can't do it." "My hands are shaking." "And about what?" "Most often, in working relations there's no mutual understanding." "And we are dealing with children." "And if there's no understanding among adults then..." "Think of three cards." "Three, seven and ace." "Think of them." "In your mind." "Got it." "Ready?" "I'll shuffle the cards." "Follow me carefully while I'm doing it." "Cut it." "Give it back to me." "Let's divide them in three parts." "Do you remember the cards you thought of?" "Yes." "Mutual understanding is vital." "Bedhudov says we have" "at the very least understand each other," "if we want to teach the new generation something." "Otherwise, he says, this new generation will cross us out." "It will step over our notions, our categories." "It will go further." "Bedhudov says..." "Do you love him," "Sasha?" "Hello." "Hello." "Having a feast?" "We are." "With cards." "That's fantastic!" "Is your surname Fazanev?" "No, it's Faryatev." "My name's Lyuba." "How do you think, do I look like Shura?" "Not really." "Or, rather, not at all." "Strange." "We're uterine sisters, after all." " Lyuba, stop clowning!" " I'm not clowning." "She injures me in your eyes." "How do you think why?" "Lyuba!" "Why are you here?" "Why not at the cinema?" "It's more interesting here." "As it happens, I'm hungry." " Go to the kitchen and eat there." " But the table is served here." "I told you to go to the kitchen!" "But I want to get acquainted" " with my future brother-in-law." " Get out of here!" "She's jealous of you." "Isn't it too early for this?" "How do you think why?" "Silly little girl." "They always exchange caustic remarks with Shura." "They always do, but they can't live without each other." "Should I serve the main course?" "Okay, later." "Aleksandra, forgive me." "Tell me, how can one get out of this vicious circle?" "We're not evil people at all, we wish the best for each other." "They tell me they love me." "Why do people torture each other like this?" "They do it regardless of whether they love each other or not." "I behave cruelly and tactlessly towards you, although you're a good and kind man." "But what can I do?" "What can you do?" "Do you love me?" " Yes, I do." " Yes." "Yes, but I don't love you." "What can I do?" "What can you do?" "Tell me." "Maybe I can somehow earn your love." " Maybe, with time..." " Oh come on." "How?" "How can one earn it?" "What are you talking about?" "How?" "Tell me, how?" "Do you really think there would be all this mess, if people got their due?" "I lay claim to nothing." " I have no right." " Oh come on." "For God's sake, Pavlik," "I wouldn't even recommend you to." "In confidence, apart from you, there's no one else to lay claim." "Don't say so." "Don't." "I beg you." "Watch this trick till the end." "No, Pavlik, I beg you..." "Give me..." "I also need to have my say." "I beg you!" "Look at me!" "Am I ugly or what?" "Do I make a terrible impression?" "Or am I so incredibly stupid that it's so glaring?" "Be frank with me!" "You know it's not true." "I don't!" "I don't!" "I once met a man who was for me..." "Not was, he is the most kind, the most handsome, the most gentle, the most intelligent." "I don't know, maybe it's only for me, but for me he's like that." "And for some time, I thought that he loved me too." "I don't know, maybe it only seemed that way." "Anyway, it's not important." "Look at me!" "Something's obviously wrong with me." "Otherwise, why should I get punished like this?" "I wanted so much to earn his" "love." "See how stupid it sounds?" "I understand, it's stupid." "I don't know, maybe it's not!" "If thousands of people do this, it must be right!" "It's just that it was the wrong person." "It's just that some order was broken." "Someone missed their turn, and then everything went haywire." "I remember each street in the city like this - we've been here, and here we haven't..." "Where could I go from here?" "I couldn't go anywhere!" "For me everything was related to him, do you understand?" "But what kind of life is it when there's no joy in anything, when there's no hope..." "Shura!" " Can I sit with you?" " Later!" " Can I drink some fruit liqueur?" " Later!" "And don't look at me like that!" "You can't look at me like that!" "Don't look at me like that!" "It's a mistake!" "It's some kind of mistake." "If only you knew how I abased myself." "Don't say that, it's not true." "It is true." "It's true." "I would have done anything for him to be with me." "I..." "I couldn't live without him, do you understand?" "I..." "I called him on the phone and listened to his voice." "I stood near his house and looked at his windows." "I..." "Everyday I wrote letters to him and hid them under the pillow." "Every night, all I could think was:" "my darling, my sweetheart, hear me, remember about me just for a minute," "I love you so much..." "How can a woman behave like this?" "How can anyone love me after this?" "How can I raise children?" "Forget about it." " Here comes the main course." " Mum, go away!" "Mum." "Mum!" "Why did I do that?" "Follow my advice, Pavlik." "Don't be sincere with people." "It's a weakness." "And they don't forgive other people's weaknesses." "And they punish you hard afterwards." "It's not true." "It's not true." "I wasn't talking about you." "I'm not talking about me either." "You mustn't think so." "You mustn't despair." "I don't any more." "Let's sing together." "I like it that you're not obsessed with me," "I like it that I'm not obsessed with you," "That the heavy globe will not slip under our feet." "I like it that I can be ridiculous..." "I will reveal a secret to you." "The thing is, Aleksandra, that both you" "and me, and all people on the whole," "we live on the wrong planet." "We're aliens, so to say." "Is it some kind of metaphor?" "No." "It's not a metaphor." "The thing is, a very long time ago," "people from a distant world came to this planet." "And they stayed here forced by circumstances." "And then our ancestors were born." "And then us." "I've already heard this theory." "I think it's absurd." "No." "It's not absurd." "Pavlik, what difference does it make how we came here?" "Since we're here, we have to deal with it." "It does." "It makes a difference." "Don't you understand?" "It's the most important thing." "We struggle with small domestic problems." "We waste our thoughts and feelings in vain." "We... since birth we look only under our feet." "Since childhood, we're told to look under our feet in order not to trip." "We die not being able to understand who we are and what we're here for." "But at the same time, somewhere deep inside us, there's an urge" "to get there, to that distant world" "we'd come from, and where there are the same people as us." "Sometimes, it even seems to me that they're thinking about us." "Think about it, have you ever had the impression as if someone was feeling sorry and waiting for you?" "No." "No one is waiting for me." "Don't laugh." "Pavlik, don't get excited, but there are plenty of theories." "There is one, only one." "Why do those in love look at the stars?" "Why does the sky attract them so much?" "It opens before them like doors to some unknown infinite world." "Why is it that in childhood we dream about flying, and in old age about" "falling down headlong?" "Why is it that in dreams we fluently speak languages we don't know?" "Why is it that we vividly see incredible landscapes and buildings that are familiar to us, although we've never seen then before?" "Why?" "And feelings?" "Vivid, passionate, beautiful, which we forget upon waking up." "Have you ever recognized people you'd never seen before?" "Recognized as old friends, by their gestures, by their smell." "And words addressed to us, which" "no one pronounced." "Where do they come from?" "They are in our blood." "If it wasn't for all this..." "During only one this short life" "we are born and we die dozens of times" "for many other people." "Tell me, what is it?" "Are those fantasies?" "If so, then not more than life itself." "Why then are we ruining them?" "No, hang on a second, Pavlik." "I don't fully understand you." "If..." "Supposing..." "Suppose, everything is exactly like you said..." "It is, Aleksandra, I'm sure about it." "I'm sure." "Look at people." "Would they offend and torture each other, if they knew about it?" "If they knew that they are one, if they remembered..." "Wouldn't they really?" "Would everything really be different?" "All our misfortunes are short-term." "Our children, our grand-children, our great grand-children, they will understand." "They will discard everything insignificant." "Believe me, they..." "They will love each other." "All of them?" "All of them." "I assure you, all of them." "Sasha." "I've been working a lot," "I've got a very elaborate theory." "I assert that all our diseases come from this." "What, mental diseases?" "No, that's obvious." "I'm talking about the physical ones." "Have you noticed..." "Have you noticed that man is sick all the time, from the cradle to the grave?" "It's unnatural." "Take an ant or a crocodile, they live beside us, but they're not subject to these strange and endless diseases." "Do you think it's all interrelated?" "Certainly." "I've been observing and drawing conclusions for a long time." "I'll even go so far as to say..." "Lately," "I've found it hard to work." "But I'll pull myself together." "Pavlik, you're an obsessed man." "You know, I believe you." "Thank you." "I will not betray your trust." "Well, excuse me," "I've been talking a lot." "It's high time I leave." "No, don't leave." "What do you mean?" "Don't leave." "Well," "I don't know." "You gave me the answer," "I understood you." "I must be a burden for you." "No." "No?" "Maybe I misunderstood you?" "I'm always happy to see you." "But you've turned me down today." "No." "What do you mean?" "I don't understand." "You misunderstood me." "Aleksandra." "Sasha." "Aleksandra." "I misunderstood you?" "Listen." "We're talking about different things." "Did you turn me down?" "No." "No?" "It's impossible." "It's incredible." "My little girl!" "Shura, wake up!" "Sasha! It's too early, I'll sleep a bit more." "Mum wants to talk to her little girl." "Whose is this little girl?" "So nice, so smart, so beautiful." "Our bride." "Coffee?" "Good." "What are we celebrating?" "Come on, drink some coffee." "I'll sit here with you, and we'll have a little chat." "Let Lyuba sleep a bit longer." "Mum doesn't need a lot." "Today mum is happy." "If only you knew how happy I am." "Mum, you spend so many emotions on both joyous events and troubles." "You won't last much longer like this." "It's true." "But I can die peacefully." "I don't have to worry about Lyuba." "If only you knew, Sasha, how I suffered because of you." "After all, you're not that young any more, plus that disastrous affair..." "Mum." "But now everything is as you wanted it to be." "Yes, it is indeed." "Now we must forget everything negative and think only about the future." "You will live here, and don't argue with me." "Mum, but there's not enough room for us all here." "You'll live here, and nowhere else." "We'll provide the best conditions for you." " I won't interfere." " Yeah right." "After all, we can all leave this place together." " What do you mean leave?" " For good." "We can go to Odessa, or even to Kiev." "Yes, we can exchange our flat and leave." "You're not alone now." "Nothing keeps you here any more." "Right?" "Right?" "Right." "That's great then." "That's great." "My little girl, we'll leave this place." "Of course, that's settled." "Oh Kiev..." "Kiev is a huge city." "There are new housing areas there, as well as old districts." "And how beautiful are chestnut trees in blossom..." "You know, people say that in good years they are in blossom twice a year:" "in spring and in early autumn." "How lucky this year has been for us!" "And they used to say it was going to be the year of the dragon, they predicted various misfortunes." "What a load of tosh that is." "To Kiev, by all means!" "To Kiev." "Mum," "I want to leave so badly." "Let's leave." "Yes." "Let's leave." "Let's leave." "Mum!" "Why didn't you wake me up?" "I was lying there waiting for you, but you still wasn't coming." "Is it still too early?" "It is." "What are you discussing in private so early?" "Or have you been here since yesterday?" "There are no secrets." "It's just that Shura is excited and a bit nervous." "It's understandable." "Someday you'll be in her shoes too." "I'll never be in her shoes." "Yes, you will." "Someday you'll also be a bride." "I'll never get married, I'm not that stupid." "Yes, you will." "But now you shouldn't think about it." "Instead, you have to think about graduating from school." "I won't get married, mum." "Besides, one can have a man without a stamp in one's passport." "One can have children unofficially too." "Lyuba, where did you get these ideas from?" "I got them from nowhere." "Lybua, it's vulgar!" "Mum!" "Enough!" "What's going on?" "Are you out of your mind?" "What's going on?" "Look!" "What a beautiful morning!" "It's incredible!" "Stop screaming!" "The neighbours will call the police." "Just a usual morning, nothing special." "Close the window, you'll catch a cold." "I'll go buy some bread, and then we'll have breakfast." "You look good today." "Really?" "You're very pretty." "Thank you, my dear." "You seldom compliment me." "I'm strict, but fair." "Do you want me to make you happy?" "Go ahead." "We're moving to Kiev for good." "To Kiev?" "To Kiev or to Odessa, it doesn't matter." "But I think Kiev is better." "There are chestnut trees..." "Chestnut trees are very good." "But we won't move anywhere." "You're delirious." "Why am I delirious?" "Mum suggested it herself." "Do you have any objections?" "I have no objections." "But you will go nowhere, you won't even budge, let alone mum." "It turns out, mum's been dreaming about it her whole life." "She'll go on dreaming about it for another 20 years." "Shura, you make me laugh." "Who wants us in Kiev?" "Three unattractive provincial women." "Dad doesn't count." "What about Pavlik?" "Pavlik then..." "Listen, have you known this Pavlik for a long time?" "Why?" "Nothing." "I thought he was just a dentist." "But it turns out he's also a lunatic." "Lyuba!" "Lyuba!" "Why is he a lunatic?" "Well," "I heard him talking then." "All that gibberish." ""Why aren't we birds, we aren't we flying?"" "It's a total mess here." "But somewhere on Neptune, there's harmony." "We'll move there and start a new life." "We don't have any money." "But there, on Mars, one doesn't need them at all." "We don't have any friends." "But there, on Venus..." "We are unhappy, but somewhere far from here, everything will be perfect." "Some have persecution mania, some think they are Napoleons." "And here we have everything at once, a hotchpotch." "Lyuba." "You're an ignorant person." "What he was talking about is only one of scientific theories," "hypotheses." "It may turn out to be incorrect." "But that's a different issue." "So you have known for a long time that we should be living on Mars." "Why haven't you said anything earlier?" "My poor little thing." "We won't even be able to move to Kiev." "But Faryatev feels good everywhere, he's a lunatic." "Why are you talking like that about a man who hasn't done anything wrong to you?" "You've seen him for the first time in your life." "Second." "Lyuba, I can't count on you." "You say the same things about me." "You're an evil person." "Why is that?" "Because I call a spade a spade?" "No, because you see everything like in a distorting mirror." "You listen but you don't hear." "He was talking about kindness, about mutual understanding, about the necessity for people to love each other." "This one should be written on every wall in large letters:" "Love each other!" "It's no novel!" "It's not novel!" "But one can't live without it!" "If you don't even recognize the existence of kindness and reason..." " I recognize reason." " No." "If you don't recognize the existence of love and self-sacrifice..." "Here we go." "How can you live with the only dream of marrying that your physicist?" "Leave my physicist alone." "Someday life will punish you severely." "Someday you'll stay alone." "It won't happen." "Yes, my dear, everyone at some point stays alone." "What will your refuge be if you don't believe in anything?" "Of course, what he said is not novel." "But it's not preposterous at all." "It's not at all ridiculous." "And only an idiot or a gone person can laugh at it." "I am laughing." "I am a gone person." "You are!" "I'm sick to the back teeth of your hackneyed words." "It's not novel, young lady." "I'm not your young lady." "Alright, my dear then." "Whatever." "Lyuba, what is going on?" "Why are you takling to me like this?" "Have I done anything bad to you?" "Have you done anything good to me?" "Lyuba, what's going on?" "I don't even understand why this tone of voice." "Nothing, you're just insulting me." " I am insulting you?" " Yes, you are." "You're saying that I'm evil and he's kind." "Although, instead of treating people, he drives them crazy." " Who has he driven crazy?" " You." "You think I didn't hear you crawling and whining that no one will ever love you again?" "This is mean." "Don't you understand?" "Eavesdropping is mean." "Even if you heard something, it's inappropriate to tell me about it." "What do you want from me?" " What do you want?" " I don't want you to get to the madhouse." "Why do you care, whether I'm here or in the madhouse." " Why do you care?" " I don't!" " It's up to you where you like it best." " Exactly!" "Exactly!" "Why are you saying this?" "Why are you saying this to me?" "You..." "You're evil, you understand?" "You're evil." "You..." "I..." "Why are you doing this?" "Because I'm your sister!" "And I love you!" "Where is Shura?" "She left." "So early." "I hoped we would sit and have breakfast together." "What a crazy life." "We're always in a hurry somewhere." "But that's alright, it'll be okay." "I'll make an omlette and a tasty salad." "Everything will be alright for you too." "My dear little Lyuba." " Give mum a kiss." " Mum!" "Come on, give me a kiss." "Why are you so evil," " so wild?" " Mum, don't touch me." "And I want to talk to my little girl." "Talk then." "Lyuba." "Do you understand what an important period in Shura's life this is?" "I do." "Get to the point!" "No, girl, you don't." "Appropriate living conditions are very important for a woman in this period." "And for a man too, of course." "In short, where do I have to go?" "What are you talking about, Lyuba?" "You know very well how much I love you both." " You're my two little girls." " Well?" "It occurred to me, why don't you go to Odessa for some time?" "It would be very prudent." "There are perfect conditions there, you know how aunt Galya loves you." "I sure do." "There's no need to be ironic." "Who's being ironic?" "Afterwards, we'll all move to Kiev together." "Yes, we will." "We'll exchange our flat, we'll live somewhere on Khreshchatyk or on Pechersk." "Just imagine:" "Kiev, its chestnut trees..." " And palm trees." " Why palm trees?" "We'll grow palm trees on the balcony." " Lyuba, I'm serious." " Who's not?" "Lyuba, you know it " "Shura deserves happiness." "And Pavlik seems to me a decent man." "He is very very..." "Don't you think that there's something strange about him?" "No, nothing strange." " Just an ordinary lunatic." " Lyuba!" "How could you?" "How can you use such words?" "You asked me, and I gave you the answer." " And on the basis of what have you..." " On the basis of what I heard." "I heard something too." "Unintentionally, of course." "This is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." "All this has to be discussed." "It's a very important step." "You called him a lunatic." " Of course, it's not true." " Alright, it's not." "Of course, it's not true." "Of course, it's not." "He's a wonderful man." "But if he is slightly... well, somewhat... eccentric, so to say, maybe that's because he has a history of mental diseases in the family." "It should be ascertained as soon as possible." " What do you think?" " Sure." "Have a go." "Ask him for a health certificate." "Well, this is silly." "But to learn about his relatives..." "No, it's not so difficult." "I'm sure that you're exaggerating." "It'll be alright, you'll see." "We'll move to Kiev too, no doubt." "And the fact that there are some difficulties..." "Those are not difficulties at all!" "Well, there are some difficulties." "Unfortunately, there are some." "But we don't give a toss about those difficulties, do we?" "What about the fact that I've spent 10 years in this school, that I have some friends here?" "No one cares about it." "The fact that no one even asked me whether I wanted to go to this lousy Odessa?" "That's nothing!" "Don't worry, mum." "I won't stand in your way." "I wanted to wait another year, but apparently I have to hurry." "I'm getting married too." "Today." "Now." "This very minute." "Hello, my dear." "My God." "You're exactly how I imagined you." "I think I'd have recognized you in the street, recognized with my heart." "I was sure we would meet very soon." "Do come in." "And be careful, one of the steps is broken." "If it was up to me, I'd have come to you much earlier, but I wanted the children to settle everything first." "And now, thank God..." "And it's wonderful." "Everything is settled now, thank God." "We will talk a lot." " We have a lot to discuss, don't we?" " We certainly do." "Allow me." "Thank you." "You know, you resemble my late sister so much." "Pavlik's mother." "She passed away 15 years ago." "Do come in." "After you." "No, after you." "Do come in." "Excuse me, what did your sister die of?" "She was sick for a long time." "She had a heart condition." "Heart diseases are the curse of our time." "Yes." "Pavlik once told me that Sasha resembles Zina." "And so do you." "You also resemble her very much." "You really do." "The same expression on the face, the same eyes." "How can one talk about face and eyes in our age?" "In the course of years, my face has accumulated a number of expressions." "My dear, let me hug you." "With all my heart." "With all my soul." "Come, come." "Have a seat." "My dear, don't get excited." "Everything'll be okay." "Everything'll be just great." "I have no doubts." "It's just that I was afraid of this moment very much." "Because" "I have no one except Pavlik." "Now you have us." "You have all of us." "Shura, forgive me!" "What happened to you?" "Go change." "Forgive me!" "I beg you!" "I don't know what I'm going to do." "I'm suffering so much." "Are you threatening me?" "Go change." "Shura, forgive me!" "I beg you!" " I can't take it any more." " Yes, but I can." "You're insulting me everyday." "You don't even mince words." "Don't you know that one can kill a person with words?" "If you hate your only sister..." "I adore you!" "Yeah right." "That's for the birds." "It's sharp, not flat!" "Watch your left arm and count!" "You don't believe me?" "You want to drive me mad?" "Don't threaten me." "It's finished, Shura." "This is the end." "Yes, it is." "And stop crying." "You play tricks and then you cry." "Tears won't help." "Won't you forgive me?" "Will I forgive you?" "Of course, I will." "What choice do I have?" "Thank you." "You're welcome." "And this is Zina." "She's very young here." "She looks like you, doesn't she?" " Yes, but only this part." " Exactly." "What about Pavlik's father?" "Pavlik's father died." "In the war?" "Just before the end of the war." "This is him and Pavlik." "Was he a healthy man?" "What do you mean?" "I mean that... the war claimed the lives of so many strong, healthy people." "You're telling me!" "Yes, people who had never been sick before the war." "But he was not a totally healthy man." "Really?" "Yes." "He had liver problems." "That's nothing." "It's not exactly so." "At least, when one's nerves are okay." "Did he have healthy nerves?" " Yes, he was a quiet and calm man." " That's the most important thing." "But that didn't save him." "I am an old woman, yet I've lived this long, and they're not here." "That's how fate disposed." "Yes." "I'm sure that our children will be happy." "They are made for each other." "They both seem to me to be so young, so innocent, so open-hearted." "Maybe, a little bit too vulnerable." "But they will help each other." " Yes, they take care of each other." " I'm sure they will." "Look, this is" "Pavlik in the age of 2 and in the age of 17." "But the expression on his face is the same, isn't it?" "It's a look of a pure child." "Yes, exactly." "You know, I must confess, it's the first time that I've met such a person as Pavel:" "so open-hearted, so modest." "Very astute observation." "He's incredibly modest." "Such a sublime spirit." "Yes." "He's not an ordinary man." "For him his mission, his purpose in life..." " Mission?" " Yes, mission." "You know, incredible discoveries await him." "My dear, this his work... this his mission... it's concerning other worlds, isn't it?" "You know, his ideas go beyond certain bounds." "They concern philosophy as well as medicine." "I welcome everything concerning medicine." "But concerning this mission... here, my dear, I object strongly." "But why, my dear?" "After all, this is the flight of thought, the flight of fantasy..." "My dear, one can fantasize on one's own." "But in the family it's inappropriate." "Haven't you noticed that he is already a bit nervous?" "Nervous?" "Exactly." "Haven't you noticed that the left side of his face is much more active than the right one?" "And this looks like a tic." "My God." "A tic?" " But how could..." " It's possible that it's not a tic yet." "But with all that, there's no place for any kind of mission etc." "It must done away with." "He's such a charming young man." "He's a wonderful boy - kind and intelligent." "Of course." "He's innocent, he's sweet, he's decent." "And they are made for each other." " And they'll be happy together, I'm sure." " Of course." " And we will help them." " Of course." "And everything will be alright, my dear." "Shura?" "What?" "Just don't tell mum." "I don't want to live any more." "Stop it, Lyuba." "I don't want to live any more." "Alright..." "Learn the exercise by heart, and revise the march." "And now go home." "Lyuba." "What's wrong with you?" "I can't carry on like this." "Come, come." "No one loves me." "That's nonsense." "What about mum?" "What about me?" "No one loves me." "I can't be loved." "I'm ugly." "So you're ugly?" "Come on, look at me." " Look at me." " You're beautiful." " Yeah right." " You're loved." "You'll be loved too." "My little kitten will be loved." "My little bird will be loved." "You're ugly?" "How could you even think of something like that?" "Come here." "My sweet little ugly girl." "Just look at your eyes." "Just look at your hair." "Come, come." "Just look at your nose." "Just look at your ears." "Stop crying." "Shura, there's someone at the door." "There's no one at the door." "Lyuba, your nerves are on the edge." "Pull yourself together." "Pull yourself together." "My dear, don't leave me." "I beg you, don't leave me alone." "I can't take it any more." "I beg you, don't leave me." "I won't leave you." "I won't leave you." "We'll be together the whole evening." "My dear, please, take me with you." "Wherever you'll live." "I won't be a nuisance." " Of course." " I'll keep quiet all the time." " Of course." " I'll keep quiet." "Of course." "If mum tries to send me away..." "I'll talk to mum." "I won't let you go." "We'll be together." "We'll live peacefully." "We will read together, we will go for a walk together, we'll do everything together." "We'll have arguments too, but only about important things" "and not about trifles." "There are so many interesting things in life." "Wherever you look, there's always something interesting." "What if we did come from somewhere else?" "After all, why not?" "Unfortunately, I have to go." "I'll be going, my dear." "But it's raining." " It's pouring." " I've got a good umbrella." " But we haven't..." " I don't want to go, but I have to." "But we haven't decided where the wedding is going to be." "My dear, they will decide by themselves." "And they will live at our place." "What do you mean?" "They will live at our place." "Hello, Pavel!" "Hello, my dear." "We finally met each other." "Hello." "And we've had a talk." "We're quicker than you, young ones." "Rest assured, there won't be any delay on our part." "It's nice to hear that." "Well, I'll be going." "I've got two grown-up children." "Two grown-up children means a lot of trouble." "My dear, living at your place is insane." "We've got a free flat here." "I'm going to Polotsk to my cousin, so Sasha can move here." "My dear!" "But we all decided to move too." "To Odessa." "Or, rather to Kiev." "I don't understand." "You're leaving?" "It's a very complicated issue, actually, but we've thought it through." "We'll talk about it tomorrow, we'll discuss everything..." "Of course, we won't make any decisions without you." "Goodbye, my dear." "Goodbye." "Goodbye, Pavlik." "It's raining." "We'll be waiting for you, Pavlik." "Goodbye." " I'll accompany you." " Thank you very much." " Goodbye, my dear." " Goodbye." "Goodbye!" "Pavlusha, my dear, are you tired?" "You've got circles round your eyes." "I am." "A bit." " Did Bedhudov call?" " No." "Didn't you go to see him?" "He's always occupied or in a hurry." "It seems like he's avoiding me." "Pavlusha, dear, don't you have too much work?" "I suppose so." "But what can I do?" "Pavlusha, leave it for God's sake." "What?" "This job." "You can't do all of it anyway." "Auntie," "I can't believe you're telling me this." "But I am." "What kind of job is this anyway?" "Frankly speaking, I don't really understand it too." "What exactly do you do, Pavel?" "I think, auntie!" "You shouldn't think all the time." "You say that Bedhudov is avoiding you." "Here you are." "And he has a very acute mind." "I want you to be happy so much, and I'm so worried about you." "Auntie!" "But you do understand me, don't you?" "I do understand you, my dear." "But you're so nervous and vulnerable..." "If you say something wrong, you might be misunderstood." "And family life is a very difficult thing." "What good would it do if they considered you insane?" "What do I have to do?" "My dear boy, leave these silly things." "Live like everyone else, you won't invent anything new anyway." "Silly things then." "They don't understand." "Pavlusha." "Pavlusha." "Maybe it's me who's saying silly things." "Old woman." "But I remember your mother and father." "They never lived to see this day." "And I'm lucky." "Who needs that work anyway, if there won't be such a day?" "If you won't be able to see your son get married." "If you won't have grand-children." "Don't take it all close to heart." "Everyone has their own destiny." "One has to live one's life by oneself." "There's nothing to be done about it." "I'm so worried about you." "It's Pavlik." "Go get the door." "It's Bedhudov." "He's on the landing." "What?" "What are you mumbling there?" "What?" "It's Bedhudov." "He doesn't want to come in." "Lyuba, why are you shouting?" "You don't know how to get hold of yourself." "You don't control yourself at all." "Lyuba!" "How... how fortunate!" "Shura, don't!" "How fortunate!" "It's incredible!" "I come out" "and see his lips trembling." "He's come by himself." "My dear, don't!" "It's all just a mistake!" "It was all a mistake!" "I knew it!" "I felt it!" "And they used to say it was going to be the year of the dragon." "And now see how the year of the dragon has turned out!" "What are you doing?" "Are you aware of what you're doing?" "My sunshine, but he's... hang on." "Do you want me to get on my knees?" "I will!" "How do I look?" "I'm not too ugly?" "I need..." "My dear, but he's... how... he was afraid to come in... he suffered so much... he's so vulnerable!" ".." "You can't!" "Hang on, Lyuba." "Maybe I should change?" "What do you think?" "But he'll come any minute now." "Shut up, Lyuba!" "Don't get under my feet now, I might forget something." "Just tell me how I look." "You're not going anywhere." "Mum will come soon." "My God, what does mum have to do with it? Shura, you can't just ditch the man." "He comforted you when you cried, when no one else needed you." " He said we were aliens too." " Yes." " You promised that we'll be together!" " Quiet." "We'll be together." "And everything will be wonderful." "He's rent a room for us!" "My poor little thing, my dear..." "He's so caring." "He suffered so much." "My sweet little boy..." "He's become so thin." " His face has become so pinched." " You're talking like mum." "So what?" "What's wrong with that?" "Alright then, Lyuba." "Alright then." "I'm off." "I should take this too." " Lyuba, I'm off." " What about Faryatev?" "Faryatev." "Pavlik." "What about him, Lyuba?" "Lyuba, find a way to explain to him." "I got it!" "Tell him I said thank you." "Lyuba, why do you look so worried?" "Do you like him?" "Lyuba!" "I haven't thought about it." "That would be a wonderful option." "Way to go, Lyuba!" "Way to go!" "Lyuba, what an incredible day it is!" "How fortunate!" "How fortunate!" "What a terrible rain." "Where is Shura?" "She left." "You know," "Pavel's aunt showed me his photo where he's 2 years old." "And he looks a lot like Shura." "Our photos are in a terrible state." "They should be sorted" "and put in order." "Why is there such a mess here?" "It's a shame, Lyuba." "You're a nice and smart girl." "Why are you so pale?" "Are you sick?" "Are you feverish?" "There's nothing wrong with me." "Lyuba, have you shortened your skirt?" "No." "You've grown up then." "It has to be lengthened." "How much more can you grow." "Those are all temporary problems." "It will pass, and everything will fall into place." "And these juvenile fantasies of Pavlik's, they will pass." "They definitely will." "A dentist in the family is a good thing." "A week ago I received a letter from Kosteletskaya, but I kept forgetting to read it to you." "Hello, dear friends." "I haven't written to you for qutie a while." "In fact, there's not much to write about." "Our life is quiet and monotonous." "Maybe somewhere else it's different, but I don't know different life since I can't go far from home." "Mum is very weak." "I'd even left the choir, but the head of social security department, by the way, a very amiable woman, who is interested in supporting this choir of pensioneers, persuaded me not to leave." "And she told me that if tours should take place, she would send female employees to keep an eye on us." "Where is Shura?" "Alright." "So I'm still singing." "I've been bustling about as I was going to Kiev." "But then from Moscow came Volodya with his wife and his little son." "And so my journey went up in smoke, which makes me very glad." "But life goes on." "How much more of it is left?" "Leta writes..." "Lyuba, do you remember aunt Violetta?" "Leta writes..." "That'll be Pavlik." "Pavlik!" " Hello." " Hello, my dear." "Come in." "What beautiful flowers!" "Do come in." "Thank you." "By the way, Shura is not at home." "She's gone out for a minute." "She's in a bustle." "Take off your coat." " Come in." " Thank you." "Lyuba, take care of the guest." " After you." " After you." "Isn't she a pretty girl?" "Yes, she is." "She will probably grow to be very beautiful." "She's very smart too." "Alright, that's enough." "She already frowns, and I fall silent." "Trust me..." "The question is:" "why did I decide to have children?" "I'll go to the kitchen then." "Shura will be back soon." "She's gone out for a minute." "She loves you so much." "Ridiculous, isn't it?" "Why is it ridiculous?" "It's wonderful." "There's nothing wonderful about it." "It's insane." "I would even take children away from parents and give them to the state." "I would even forbid them to meet each other until children grow up and understand what's what." "Are you serious about it?" "Of course I am, for God's sake." "It's the only way to help children." "You're kidding." "You can't really mean it." "Why is that?" "Why take away?" "Help with what?" "In order for this blind and insane love not to exist." "When one is ready to kill hundreds of children so that someone's one and only child could live." "And later this one and only child will grow up to be an exceptional jerk." "How can you say that?" "It's unbelievable." "I speak on the part of children." "It's merciful towards them." "You don't understand." "Don't talk about mercy." "As long as you have this love," " it's the only thing can't be taken away." " Yeah right." "Actually, why are you talking to me in that tone of vioce?" "Because you think only about yourself." "Do you know, for example, the number of people in the world who are starving?" "Why do I need to know it?" "What do you mean why?" "Don't you want to know how many people are starving to death now?" "Leave me alone with your starving people." "Do you even know yourself how many of them are there?" "I do." "But it's not about the number, it was just an example." "One cannot be happy." "One cannot be satisfied." "There's something wrong with my heart." "What is it?" "No, no." "Have some valerian." "No, no." "That's okay." "I will now make a deep breath and it will go away." "My heart is heavy today." "Maybe I'm just tired." "What do you think, Pavlik?" "Of course, you are." "It's no wonder." "You take everything close to heart." "What can I do?" "How else can I take it all?" "Only heart can give me the right answer." "I'm not that smart compared to my modern grown-up daughters." "Stop saying that!" "Lyuba, don't scream." "It's commonplace." "Children usually outgrow their parents." "Don't get angry." "Don't." "I'm not feeling well." "Have some valerian." "No, there's no need." "I will now make a deep breath..." "That's okay." "It'll be alright, Pavlik." "Don't pay attention." "We all have our nerves on the edge." "It will pass." "Don't get angry, Lyuba." "Don't." "We've got a guest." "What will he think?" "Well, it's okay now." "It's okay." "It's okay." "Everything I've been saying just now, has nothing to do with mum." "Do you understand?" "Of course, I do." "No, you don't." "She's the best mother, and I love her very much." "Everything I've been saying, has nothing to do with her." "You're a strange man." "You don't have any intuition, any self-esteem." "How can a man be like that?" "And where is Aleskandra?" "That should have been the first thing to ask." "And don't call her Aleksandra." "It's ridiculous." "Dad calls her Sasha." "Mum calls her Shura." "And Bedhudov calls her Sanyok." "And where is Sanyok?" "Where is she?" "Pavel... what's your father's name?" "Pavlovich." "Pavel Pavlovich, don't abase yourself." "She left with Bedhudov half an hour ago." "He just beckoned her and she ran like an oaf," "despite 30 years of age and musical education." "She didn't even think of you." "She didn't think about what will happen to mum, she doesn't give a toss." "He just beckoned her, he didn't have to persuade her." "God, what a vile woman she is!" "Don't you dare say that!" "Don't you dare talk about her like that!" "I forbid you!" "You?" "What can you forbid me?" "If you mean nothing to her, then for me all the more so." "If she didn't even think of you, then I'll forget you sooner than you leave this place." "Is it clear?" "Wait." "Wait a second." "I don't understand anything now." "I'm confused." "Apparently, I missed something." "Wait." "Wait." "Please, be quiet." "Dear little girl," "I didn't understand what you said." " Aleksandra's gone somewhere." " Yes." "She didn't just go out, she's gone for good?" "Yes." "Lyuba." "Don't even think about telling mum." "Don't even think about it." "I'll kill you." " What should I do?" " Sit down!" "Make a normal face." "Are you enjoying yourselves?" "I'll join you in a minute, I'll just make a salad." "Lyuba, why don't you tell Pavlik about school, about what you want to do after you finish school?" "Pavel can give you some advice." "He's a serious man." "Alright." "Well?" "Say something!" "Like what?" "Anything!" "Tell me about your work." "Yes, my work..." "I must tell auntie." "She was going..." "I must warn her that it's off now." "Listen, deal with your auntie by yourself." "I have no time for your auntie." "As for me, after school" "I'm going to enter the institute of forestry." "What can you advice me?" "I don't really know what that is, but forest is good." "We must preserve forest." "Yes, it's hard with wood nowadays." "So you approve?" "Yes." "Say something!" "I have no idea what to say..." "What's in the papers?" "Don't you read newspapers?" "Well, will the summer be warm or cold?" "In 10 years' time, there will be subtropical climate in Petersburg." "There will be palm trees everywhere." "And in 20?" "It will be very warm." "And then we'll burn?" "No, then there will be plantations and bright flowers everywhere." "Where are those bright flowers?" "In Leningrad." "Flowers are not so bright in Leningrad." "On the other hand, Kiev in summer is a real flowerbed." "What should I do?" "About what?" "Faryatev has difficulties at work." "I see." "We live at exceptionally difficult times." "By the way, Lyuba, have you told about your school?" "I have." "I think it's a unique school." "Its teaching staff has been renewed." "They teach so well!" "Each teacher is almost a professor." "They are all Bedhudovs." "Pavlik, do you and Bedhudov see each other?" "Yes." "Often?" "No." "Maybe, you shouldn't see each other often." "Do you understand what I mean?" "We'll have to talk about him openly someday." "Because Bedhudov is..." "Right." "Of course, he's right." "Right about what?" "He's right." "Anyway, he's undoubtedly right." "Please, let me leave." "No." "I'm tired." "She'll understand everything." "I'm tired." "I beg you." "Please, stay." "I'll think of something later." "You'll have to tell her one day." "It won't be any time soon." "And for now, please, stay." "She has weak heart." "I understand." "Why did you start all this?" "Why did you come to us?" "No one asked you to." "We met at Bedhudov's name-day party." "Her face struck me." "She looked at me like this." "She has wonderful eyes." "Her look expresses many tinges." "Why didn't you try to learn anything?" "Why do you do everything so inopportunely?" "We were dancing afterwards, and it seemed to me" "that she looked at me with love." "It only seemed to you." "No." "It did happen." "Show me then!" "Show me how she looked at you." "I can't." "She has wonderful eyes." "You already said that." "And then... then" "I came here and said," ""Aleskandra, I love you and I want you to marry me."" "What did I miss?" " What happened then?" " Then you came to our place." "We met on the steps." "I don't remember it." "Try to." "You were going down humming something." "And I stood in your way to have a good look at you." "Try to remember!" "I don't remember." "Are you trying to offend me?" "Offend you?" "Why would I want to do that?" "Why aren't you looking at me?" "I am." "I can't see well without my glasses." "When I get tired, everything is swimming before my eyes." "Why don't you wear glasses?" "Do you hear me?" "Why aren't you answering?" "Glasses don't suit me." "So you don't see me now?" "Vaguely." "And now?" "Better." "Now you look like her." "Don't talk about her." "It's ridiculous, don't you understand?" "I do." "I missed something." "I made a mistake." "I made a mistake somewhere." "But I can't understand where." "And then everything went haywire." "It's logical." " Are we aliens?" " Yes." "Maybe I rushed things too much." "Maybe she needed to get used to me first." "And our ancestors came to this planet?" " Yes." " Why did they stay here?" "Because of circumstances." "Circumstances are stronger than us." " Sometimes." " So?" "What now?" "I don't know." "What do you mean?" "But you said what is to be done before!" "Did I?" "I don't remember." "Maybe I shouldn't have said that." "Maybe it repelled her." "Try to remember!" "Try to remember!" "It coudn't have happened without any reason." "There has to be some meaning in it." "There has to be!" "There is." "There is." "There is." "Excuse me, I wasn't paying attention." "Of course, there is meaning." "Good." "Alright then." "Didn't I talk about it?" "Talk about it once again." "All that exists is beautiful." "Do you know what we are?" "What me and you are?" "We are a part of a huge beautiful painting, or rather a mystery," "where every part and every moment has its meaning." "Really?" "Every one?" "Everything is beautiful." "But one needs to capture the harmony of the moment." "I don't remember." "I probably didn't talk about that." "It's a pity." "I must have forgotten." "It explains a lot." "One needs to capture the harmony of the moment." "But I forgot to say it." "I'm always forgetting to say the main thing." "What should I do?" "How should I carry on?" "Your hand is so hot." "Lyuba." "I can't live without her." "It's the first time you've called me Lyuba." "Is it?" "What did I call you before that?" "Nothing." "You used no name." "Strange." "I can't see." "Everything is blurry." "Do you remember yourself talking about incredible landscapes and buildings?" "What landscapes?" "I often see them in my dreams." "I often do." "I sometimes dream that I'm flying." "Do you remember?" "My God." "Did I really?" "I was so wrong." "It would repel anyone." "I should have kept quiet." "Yes, it's true." "There's a huge world, a distant world waiting for us." "It's incredible, fantastic..." "What was I talking about?" "The meeting will take place, the doors will swing open" "and the world will reveal itself." "I'd have forgotten everything, if she'd wanted me to." "I would have forgotten it for good." "I love you." "My life has ended." "Look at me." "The doors will swing open..." "I love you, like no one" "has ever loved another person." "Look at me." "The doors will swing open..." "Excuse me," "I've been talking a lot, and I'm very tired now." "I have hardly slept these days." "I want to sleep so much." "So much..." "Lyuba, I haven't finished reading the letter." "You can listen too, Pavlik." "You're a member of our family now." "I've been bustling about in summer..." "I've already read it." "Here." "Leta writes that her husband drinks like a lunatic." "Bad cess to all those drunkards who are among us and who won't let us live a joyful life." "They are ready to waste everything they and we have on drinking." "Surprisingly, the weather varies all the time." "It's very humind." "At any moment now, we'll start croaking like frogs." "Freaks of weather never cease to amaze me." "This year's harvest of apples is so big that we don't know what to do with it." "Irina Fedotovna writes that Anna Fedotovna left the hospital." "She had eyesight problems, but now she can see in pitch darkness." "My case was much more serious, but thank God everything is okay." "Suspicion of cataract wasn't confirmed." "Everything will be all right." "Mum is weak too, but she's still alive, as are all of us, and that's the most important thing." "Petruschak, uncle Lyonia's son, made a car at school." "The teacher said no one had ever done anything like that." "Even the teacher himsef doesn't understand how it works and no one can make it stop." "Do come in summer, and you'll be able to see it." "I would very much like to see all of you, our dearest friends." "In fact, why don't you come this summer?" "Don't spend too much time thinking or packing things." "Do come light." "We're still here, on the same spot, not far away," "and we're waiting for you." "Planes do not land here, but we do have a train station." "Really, how can we live far from each other and keep forgetting dear faces?" "We can go to the river in the evening, sit on the porch, sing songs " "and our youth will come back." "In summer the stars are low, cherry trees are in blossom, stocks give out a pleasant scent." "We are doing all right." "Do come with Shura and Lyuba and with all the relatives." "Everyone will be glad to see you:" "uncle Lyonia and Tolya and Irina Fedotovna."