"(gunshots)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(shouting)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(shouting)" "As magistrate of this village, it is my duty to warn you that Hi Chung, the bandit, is on his way here." "Thank you for telling us." " Shall I pack?" " No." " But, Alfred..." " We are missionaries." "Providence sent us here to fight evil, not flee from it." "Will you allow me to take little Ching-Ching out of harm's way?" "Barbara will remain here with us." "And I wish you would not refer to her as Ching-Ching." "Mr Kruikshank, you may do as you wish with your own life." "But Ching..." "Barbara is a child." " Her honourable parents were my friends." " I know." "But they did not desert their post when danger threatened." "No." "And they were killed." "Please." "Alfred!" "I have decided." "(they speak Chinese)" "(uproar)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" " Greetings, most honourable Sun Lo." " Greetings, Ching-Ching." "May your shadow lengthen always in the sun of happiness." "Thank you." "May the bird of prosperity continue to nest in your rooftop." "(they speak Chinese)" "I hope you will always remember the sayings of our wise men." "I will, because you taught them to me." "It was a great privilege to instruct the daughter of my friends, your honourable father and mother." "Friendship is a tree of shelter from the rains of trouble." "Yes." "And so it is my wish to protect you from trouble that may be here very soon." " What kind of trouble?" " Bad men." " There will be looting and destruction." " Oh..." "I have arranged for Chang to take you to the home of my honourable brother in Shanghai." "Shanghai?" "Oh, that's wonderful." "I remember all the beautiful stories my daddy used to tell me about it." "But I'm afraid I'll have to ask Mr Kruikshank for his permission." "You know, he's awfully strict with me." "Don't worry about that, my little one." "I will satisfactorily explain for you." "You will?" "Oh, thank you, most honourable Sun Lo." "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "Goodbye, my little friend." "I shall see you very soon." "And until then, the memory of you will bloom like a flower in the garden of my heart." "(ship's whistle)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(they speak Chinese)" "(shouts in Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(barks)" "Shh!" "I know you're hungry, but stop barking." "Your stomach has no ears." "(speaks Chinese)" "Where's Chang?" "Chang!" "Oh, Chang!" "Chang!" "I guess he went for breakfast." "And that's what you want, isn't it?" "Hey!" "Hey!" "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "As Sun Lo says, one cannot eat gold, but one cannot eat without it." "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "Come on, Mr Wu, we'll find something to eat." "Oh, no, no." "Is there anyone here who speaks English?" "I want to buy something." "(speaks Chinese)" "Look, I want to buy a dragon's head." "Head." "Though I can't imagine why." "(merchant speaks Chinese)" "No, me likee buy one piecee dragon head." "Catch on?" "(speaks Chinese)" "Lookee." "Dragon." "Head." "See?" "Isn't there anyone who understands English?" "I can, mister." "Hello." "You wouldn't by any chance be able to understand Chinese too, would you?" "(speaks Chinese)" "Oh..." " Can you ask him how much he wants for it?" " (speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" " He says $15." " $15." "No, no." "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" " What's wrong now?" " He's trying to cheat you." "The price is $5." "Look." "Oh, yes, so it is." " $5." " (speaks Chinese)" "(mimics Chinese)" "Huh?" "As Sun Lo says, all things have two prices, one for the foolish." "You know, you look so young but you talk so old." "How come?" "In a junk from Sanchow." "No, I meant how come..." "Oh, well." "I guess we don't talk the same language in more ways than one." "You've been so nice, I'll buy you something." "What shall it be?" "Come on, what would you like?" "A soup bone." " A what?" " A soup bone." "For my dog." "He's awful hungry." "You'll never get ahead in life if you go around asking for bones." "Do you think your mother would mind if you joined us in a soup bone?" " I haven't gotten a mother." " Oh." " Well, your father, or family?" " I haven't any family." " I haven't even got Chang." " Who's Chang?" "He brought me from Sanchow, and then he ran away with my money." "Oh, a lady in distress?" "Just my specialty." "Well, you come along with us to lunch then you can tell me all about it." " Thank you, but I couldn't eat any lunch." " Why not?" "Cos I haven't had breakfast yet." "(honks horn)" "Menu, please." "There's the menu up there." "No, it's all Greek to me." "No, it's Chinese." "Well, go ahead and order for Mr Wu and your Uncle Tommy." "All right." "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "Those things cost a lot." "Have you got enough money?" " Too much, so I'm told." " (speaks Chinese)" "I told him to make it two soup bones." " Do you live here, Uncle Tommy?" " No, just here today." "My boat sails tonight." " Going home?" " No, just travelling around." " No place in particular." " You must be an orphan too." "Unfortunately not." "You mean you don't like your father and mother?" "Well, it seems we get along better with a couple of thousand miles between us." "So, there they are and here I am, and everybody's happy." "More or less." "There you are, Mr Wu." "You certainly are extravagant, Ching-Ching." "Thank you." "What's "stravagant" mean, Uncle Tommy?" " That means you're pretty nice." " Then I think you're stravagant too." "I promised to pick up some friends here but first I'll get you straightened out." " Will you wait?" " Sun Lo says patience is like wealth." "Many talk about it, but few possess it." " Sun Lo is quite a conversationalist." " I don't know, but he talks a lot." "Aw!" "(honks horn)" "Ah, hail to the chief!" " Hello, Tommy." " Kay." " Tommy, darling." " Dora." " Colonel, have you been drinking?" " A mere aperitif, a soupçon of brandy." " Yes, master?" " Bring us flagons of your rarest nectar." "And bring it with the speed of an antelope." "We perish, we swoon." "Yes, master." "Black Label all round?" " Right." " Not for me." "Do these old ears hear right?" "Could it be Thomas, the pride of the Randalls, has refused a drink?" " Right." " My boy, are you ill?" "Uh-uh." "In fact, Colonel, I am still under the spell of a good woman." "(barks)" "Mr Wu!" "Mr Wu!" "You come back here this very minute." "Mr Wu!" "Mr Wu!" "Mr Wu!" "Now, where did you find this good woman?" "I didn't know there were any more left." "Come on outside." "I'll introduce you, but remember, I saw her first." " What about us?" "Can't we go too?" " Sure, come on." "It'll do you good." "Now, none of your Rabelaisian lip." "This girl has led a very sheltered life." "As if I ever said anything that would raise a faint blush on the cheek of..." "Looks like she stood you up." "Nice goings-on, I must say." "Here she is." "Hey." "Why don't you go all the way in?" "Maybe she's down the cellar." " That's funny." " At least she left you the car." " Sometimes they don't even do that." " She must be someplace." " Come on, let's go on in." " When you find her, yell." "We'll be at the bar." "Now, let her go, lad." "Better fish in the sea." "You know, this reminds me of an experience I had in Kansas City." "I met this little lady." "Very fine and very demure." "Mr Wu, you oughta be ashamed." "(thunder)" "(Tommy hums a tune)" " Just like a lullaby, eh, Colonel?" " Hmm." "A Chinese lullaby." " Oh, there you are, Mr Randall, sir." " Little Lord Fauntleroy." " Go away." "I don't want to talk to you." " Your car." "We must get it aboard." " The captain's holding up the boat, sir." " All on account of you, Atkins." "You're a heedless, thoughtless butterfly." "No consideration for others." "No..." "I thought so." "Colonel, this man's been drinking." "Please, sir, we must hurry, sir." "Now, please." "See here." " Steady, Atkins, steady." " Now, Tommy, we mustn't be too harsh." "I used to have an uncle that drank." "It's a madness in the blood." "Please, sir, I can walk for myself, sir." "You'll be all right, but you mustn't shout like that." "We'll get you back on the boat safe and sound." "It's quite all right." "I can really get there myself." " It's quite all right." " Get in there." " Get in, Tommy, and hold him there." " No, sir, I'm not drunk, I assure you." " Are you sober enough to drive?" " Look out." "(ship's whistle)" "(Mr Wu yaps)" " I could've sworn I heard something." " I bet it's a stowaway." "Who's there?" "If there's anybody down here, let's find them." "(rattling)" "You search behind the sacks." "You too." "You check behind the cars." "Steward!" "Steward!" "We found a stowaway in the hold, but he got away." "Very well." "Jenkins, spread a general alarm." "We seem to have stowaways aboard." "At once, sir." "(bell)" "Come in." " Right there, steward." " Yes, missy." "You were told to watch for stowaways before we sailed." " I did, sir." " Well, if we find one, you'll be out of a job." "You can come back for these things in half an hour, steward." "And, mind you, he was only 12." "Richard spoke up as quick as a flash, and what do you think he said, Susan?" ""You may use my bicycle, Geraldine."" ""I love sport, but I love the principles of manhood more."" " I'm afraid I'm boring you." " Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs Hope." " Richard told me that story three times." " I tell it not because Richard is my son." "I tell it merely because I believe that you, as his future wife, might be interested." "Apparently, I was mistaken." "Mark my words, Susan, the time will come when you'll be just as devoted to Richard..." "But I am devoted to him." "Only..." "Only you have a peculiar way of demonstrating your devotion." "Who is in there?" "(Mr Wu growls)" "(screams)" "Help!" "Help!" " Help!" " What happened?" " There's a man in there." " What's up?" " The stowaway." " He growled at me." " (door rattles)" " Come out." "Come out of there or I'll blow you out." "Well, I'll be..." " Aw, the poor little thing." "We frightened her." " She's frightened us." " What's your name?" " In Chinese or American?" "What?" "In American it's Barbara Stewart." "But in Chinese it's Ching-Ching." " What are you doing here?" " Hiding." "Hiding?" "Why?" "The man said I was a stowaway." " Well, are you?" " I..." "I guess so." "What's a stowaway?" " How did you ever get on this ship, anyway?" " I don't know." "I never heard of such a thing in all my life." "I can't understand it." " Neither can I." " Oh, please don't be impertinent." " She didn't mean to be." "Did you, dear?" " No, I didn't." " What's all this?" " We found the stowaway." " Where is he?" " It's a she, sir." "It's this child here." "What, you?" "I guess so." "She doesn't even know how she got aboard." " What am I gonna do with you, young lady?" " I'll look after her." " Susan, don't be absurd." " She won't be any trouble." "Fine, Miss Parker." "Bring her to my quarters after lunch and we'll have a talk with her." " You can return to your post now, Jenkins." " Aye, sir." "See you later, stowaway." "(Mr Wu barks)" "Captain, can we put this... animal in the kennel?" "Oh!" "They'll take good care of it." "You'll give it a big dinner." "Why, of course I will." "Here." "Don't you worry, I'll take care of it." "It isn't an it, sir." "It's a him." "I've never had a dress as nice as this." "The ship's store is full of them." "All you have to do is get this one dirty and we'll find you another one." "Do you think your mother will like me better now I look beautiful?" " Mrs Hope isn't my mother." " No?" "Well, that is, not yet." " See?" " Yes, I see." "It's time we turned the child over to the captain." "After all, charity has its limits." "What did you mean when you said you didn't know how you got on this ship?" "You must." "But I don't, honestly." "The last thing I remember is that I fell asleep in Uncle Tommy's car." "Uncle Tommy?" "Tommy who?" "Randall." "Tommy Randall." " (both) Tommy Randall!" " Mm-hm." " Your Uncle Tommy is on board this ship." " He is?" "I might've known you were his niece." " He's a problem child too." " I'll take you to him, Ching-Ching." "Considering his reputation, you'd better turn her over to the captain." "Very well." "Well, it seems odd, but with Mr Randall, nothing surprises me." " Good morning, Captain." " Good morning, Atkins." " We'd like to see Mr Randall." " Mr Randall's still asleep, sir." " Well, it's about time he got up." " Mr Randall never gets up until two, sir." "(laughs) I'm sorry, but this is important, so you'd better call him." " Mr Randall will be very annoyed, sir." " Tell him a pretty lady wants to see him." " If I know Tommy Randall, that'll get him up." " Yes, I'm afraid it will, sir." "Won't you be seated, please?" " I beg your pardon, sir." " (snoring)" " I beg your pardon, sir!" " Go away, Fauntleroy." "Sorry, but there's a young lady to see you." " Huh?" " There's a young lady to see you." "I think it's rather urgent." " That's bad." " She's very beautiful, sir." "Oh?" " Well, that's not so bad." " She has a child with her, sir." "Oh, that is bad." "She also has the captain with her." "He insists on seeing you." "That's very bad." "Here you are, sir." " What's that?" " Your chequebook, sir." "Oh..." "I don't know what your game is, but I never saw you before." "I have witnesses to my whereabouts for the past 27 years." " Mr Randall!" " Uncle Tommy!" "Ching-Ching." "What on earth...?" "Please forgive me, I'm awfully sorry." "I'm not quite awake yet." "What are you doing on this boat?" "I'm a stowaway, but I didn't mean to be." " I waited in your automobile like you said." " But I went out and looked for you." "Well, you see, after a while, it started to rain." "So I got in the back and pulled the cover down." "Oh, you poor kid." " I'm awfully sorry." " But I like being a stowaway, Uncle Tommy." "This is Susan Parker, my best friend." "He's my best friend too." " How do you do?" " How do you do?" " Don't you think she's stravagant?" " She's magnificent." "Oh, thank you." " Charming little niece you have, Mr Randall." " I'm not really his niece, Susan." " He's just pretending." " Why...?" " But aren't you the child's uncle?" " No." "We met in Shanghai yesterday." " Oh, Ching-Ching, you told me..." " I didn't mean to tell a fib." "I was just scared, and I knew Uncle Tommy would help me." "You know I will." "I'm sorry, Captain, to have caused all this trouble." "I'll accept full responsibility." "I'll be only too glad to pay for her passage." "I'll have to communicate with her people." "From what she tells me, she has no people." "In fact, she has all the earmarks of a waif." "But she must have someone." "She didn't live in China by herself." "I lived with the Kruikshanks, but they won't care if I stay here." " Who are the Kruikshanks, dear?" " They're missionaries in Sanchow." "Make a note of that name and get in touch through the American consul." "In the meantime, I'll look after her." "This time, I really mean it." "I'm inclined to think that Miss Parker is better company for the child." "Oh, he's good company too." "Maybe you had better go with Miss Parker." "You can call her Susan like I do." "Can't he, Susan?" "Well, I suppose so." "I'll see you later, then, Ching-Ching." " And I hope you too..." "Susan." " Thank you." " Bye, Uncle Tommy." " Goodbye, darling." "Goodbye, Uncle Tommy." "Goodbye, Uncle Tommy." "Uncle Tom's cabin." "(ship's whistle)" " I can't understand it, Atkins." " Understand what, sir?" "Your gross neglect of your duties." "The most beautiful girl in the world is on this ship and you never told me." "Begging your pardon, sir, but you don't usually have to be told." " Who is she?" " You met her mother on Monday night." " I did?" " Unhappily, sir." "I..." " I didn't...?" " You did, sir." "Let me have it, Atkins." "You emptied a bottle of champagne in her lap, sir." "Oh!" "(meows)" "(mimics a train whistle) Ding, ding!" "(mimics train whistle) Ding, ding!" "Now, now, come, come, Atkins." "You can do better than that." " You're not even trying." " I thought it was rather good, sir." "Perhaps you can suggest something else that I can imitate better." "Well, let me see..." " Sleepy?" " Mm-hm." "It's not ten yet." "You'll never be popular if you fold up right after dinner." "Begging your pardon, sir, but I think it's customary for little children to retire rather early." " Is it really your bedtime, Ching-Ching?" " Mm-hm." " Atkins, prepare Miss Ching-Ching for bed." " Me, sir?" " I don't know anything about children." " I've never..." " There's a first time for everything." " Sir, this is very awkward." "Please, Uncle Tommy, I can undress myself." "I always do." " I wish I could say the same." " Oh, thank you, Miss." "Now, you close your eyes." "Come on." "Atkins, a lullaby for Miss Ching-Ching." " A what, sir?" " A lullaby." " You know, a vocal Mickey Finn." " Sir, I can't sing a lullaby." "You're one of the most untalented persons I've ever met." "Can't do imitations or sing." "How do you ever entertain your friends?" " I can try, sir." " Very well, start crooning." "One, two... (flat) ♪ Lullaby baby on the treetop" "♪ Lullaby baby on the treetop" " ♪ Oh..." " Please." "You'll give her nightmares." "Perhaps you could do better yourself, sir." "(too low) ♪ Rock-a-bye baby on... (coughs)" "(too high) ♪ ..on..." "I'm not in very good voice tonight." "I know a lullaby my mommy used to sing me." "I'll teach it to you." "Things have come to a pretty pass when a baby has to sing herself to sleep." "Sit down, Atkins." "Very well, Ching-Ching." "Go ahead." "♪ Good night, my love" "♪ Your mommy is kneeling beside you" "♪ Good night, my love" "♪ To dreamland the sandman will guide you" "♪ Come, now, you sleepyhead" "♪ Close your eyes, go to bed" "♪ My precious sleepyhead" "♪ You mustn't play peekaboo" "♪ Good night, my love" "♪ Your little Dutch dolly is yawning" "♪ Good night, my love" "♪ Your teddy bear's called it a day" "♪ Your doggy's fast asleep" "(tuts)" "♪ My, but he's smart" "♪ Sleep tight, my love" "♪ Good night, my love" "♪ God bless you" "♪ Pleasant dreams" "♪ Sweetheart" "(knocking)" " Should I...?" " I didn't make any noise." " Is she asleep?" " (Ching-Ching) Not yet." "Well, you should be." " Good night, darling." " Good night, Aunt Susan." " Good night, Uncle Tommy." " Good night, darling." "Good night, Atkins." "You've been very sweet to that child, Mr Randall." "Good night." "Good night?" "Don't tell me you go to bed at ten o'clock too?" " Let me see you to your room." " It's only four doors away." "Still, let me come with you." "You might meet somebody." "Footpads, thugs, people like that." "It's not safe for a girl to be out alone after dark on the ocean." "(jazz band plays)" "it's beautiful." "Yes, beautiful." "And so peaceful." " Peaceful too." " It's really almost overdone, isn't it?" "The moonlight on the water." "Stars in the sky." "Music." "They might've at least had the decency to omit the music." "Yes, everything is here." "Including you." "And me." "Taken all together, that spells romance." " Not for me." " Why not?" " Romance takes two." " We've got two here." "Yes, but not the right two." "You see, I'm engaged." "Oh..." "To Richard Hope." "Mrs Hope's son, you know." " Yes, I know." " He's meeting the boat at Bangkok." " We're to be married there." " Mm-hm?" "And why Bangkok?" "He lives there." "He's with an exporting firm." " Exporting what?" " Oh, ivory, apes, peacocks." "Things like that." "He came out here two years ago and he's worked very hard." "You mean to say you've been engaged for two years and you haven't seen him in that time?" "You Latins." "What a hot-blooded race you are!" "Well, Richard isn't quite like that." "We've known each other since we were children." "Oh, I see." "Well, I must say, it all sounds very lyrical." " Well, it may not be exactly lyrical." " Me, of course, I've never been engaged." "Not definitely, that is." " But if I were to be..." " Not definitely is right." "I seem to recall something in the newspapers:" ""Millionaire playboy sued for breach of promise."" "I practically won that suit." "She only got $10,000." "Poor kid, she'd been counting on 50." "$10,000?" "That's more than Richard earns in a year." "Well, you shouldn't be so narrow." "After all, I can't help it if I've been cursed with wealth." "Not that it isn't as nice a curse as anyone could ask for." " Have you ever worked for a living?" " Pardon?" "You know, work." "Like most people do." "Oh, work." "Of course." "I've worked my father..." "Why should I take a job from someone else who needs it?" "I sacrifice myself for the good of humanity." "See?" "Do you know what you are?" "No, but I have a feeling that you're about to tell me." "A museum piece." "You should be in a glass case in an exhibit of the terrible Twenties, cocktail shaker in your hand, shirt scrawled with chorus girls' telephone numbers, and a label - "Playboy BC, Before The Crash," "former habitat, Broadway, now extinct."" "Hmm..." "You don't exactly pull your punches, do you?" "Would it please you to know that I feel about that high and six years old?" "You should grow up." "That's what I've been trying to tell you." "Oh, but forget it." "At least forget it for now." "I'm really not a reformer always." "Anyway, beneath that too-smooth exterior beats a heart of gold..." "I think." " It's beating awfully fast right now." " Good night." "(band plays "Goodnight, My Love")" "Sing it." "There's no one here but you and me." "And the China Sea." "But it's a love song." "Just doesn't fit the occasion." "That's all right." "It's only a popular song." "You didn't write the words." " I'm warning you, if you don't sing it, I will." " You win." "♪ Good night, my love" "♪ The tired old moon is descending" "♪ Good night, my love" "♪ My moment with you now is ending" "♪ it was so heavenly" "♪ Holding you close to me" "♪ it will be heavenly" "♪ To hold you again in a dream" "♪ The stars above have promised to meet us tomorrow" "♪ Till then, my love, how dreary the new day will seem" "♪ So for the present, dear, we'll have to part" "♪ Sleep tight, my love" "♪ Good night, my love" "♪ Remember that you're mine" "♪ Sweetheart" " (music ends) - (distant applause)" "Susan!" " Good night." " Good night." " And... good night to you too." " Good night!" " See that this is sent at once." " Yes, ma'am." " How long do we have here, Purser?" " 12 hours, ma'am." " This would be nice for the little girl." " Do you like that?" " I think it's beautiful." " All right, we'll take that too." "When I get big, I'm gonna marry a man like you." "Aren't you, Aunt Susan?" "When you grow up, there aren't gonna be any men like him." "He's a dying race, the last of the easy spenders." "Nice jade bracelet for the lady?" " No, thank you." " What a perfect piece of jade." " It is lovely." " It's all yours." "Wrap it up." " Send to the steamer with the rest." " Tommy, I couldn't accept it." "It's all right, Susan." "Mr and Mrs Kruikshank are good people, and they take anything." "Shoes, potatoes, rice." "See, if Ching-Ching says it's all right." " Not even for Ching-Ching." " All right, but you're being very silly." " You know where we're going now?" " Back to the boat." " She guessed wrong again, didn't she?" " You said it." " We're going to a show." " What kind of a show?" "Beautiful, magnificent." " (knocking)" " Come in." " Mother!" " Richard!" "Why did you cable me?" "Where's Susan?" "She's not ill, is she?" " Go up on deck and call Miss Parker." " Yes, missy." "No, Richard, she's not ill." "Why did you send for me?" "After all, it's not exactly an inexpensive trip." "I know, I know, dear, but frankly the situation was more than I could cope with alone." "What do you mean?" "Heavens, Mother, don't build it up." "Did you ever hear of a man named Tommy Randall?" "Randall?" "The name's familiar." " It should be." "It's in the papers enough." " What about him?" " He's on this boat." " What's that got to do with Susan?" "Richard, your mother's a woman of the world." "You realise that." "She can tell..." "She can tell what?" "Heavens, Mother, we're not getting anyplace." "I'm not saying there's been anything wrong between them." "So that's it?" "I've flown here just to be told Susan is having a harmless little ship flirtation?" "It may be harmless, and it may not." "After all, Richard, Susan's a very headstrong young woman." "Well, marriage will straighten her out." "Wait till she hears I'm the new assistant manager in Bangkok." "JB" " JB Bradley, I mean - gave me the promotion as a wedding present." "Just think." "My boy, an assistant manager." "Why, Richard, it seems only yesterday that you were in curls." " It shows what hard work, determination..." " (knocking)" "Come in." "Too sorry." "Missy has go shoreside." " Ashore?" " Yes, missy." "Thank you." "You see?" "She's with Randall now." "I knew I was right in cabling you." "A mother's instinct never fails." " What do you think I should do?" " The first thing to do is to find her." "Oh, look at the Chinese Major Bowes." "That fellow, Li Ze Mon, used to run a chop suey place on Broadway." "(♪ Chinese ensemble)" "All right, all right, all right." "(speaks Chinese)" "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our young amateurs will now give you imitation of Bing Crosby." "(laughter)" "(laughter)" "♪ Please" "♪ Lend your little ear to my pleas" "♪ Lend a ray of cheer to my pleas" "I learned that song from Sun Lo's phonograph." "I learned lots of them." "(croons like Bing Crosby)" "♪ I could find delight in your... (croons)" "(whistles tune)" "(gong)" "(applause)" "All right, all right, all right." "(speaks Chinese)" "He wants the people in the audience to get up and give imitations." "He says there's a prize of ten yuan." "Where are you going?" "If I get the ten yuan, then I can buy some presents for you and Uncle Tommy." " Ching-Ching, no." " Nothing can happen to her." "Oh, hello." "What can I do for you?" " You can give me the ten yuan." " (laughter)" "You likee sing song?" " I will if you don't start ringing that bell." " (laughter)" "You know, I think that's why that other gentleman quit." "You know American song?" " Yes." "It's called "You Gotta S-M-I-L-E"." " (applause)" "All right, Professor, play "You Gotta S-M-I-L-E"." "♪ If something may upset you" "♪ Don't ever let it get you down" "♪ Don't wear a frown" "♪ if fortune should forsake you" "♪ Don't ever let it make you sigh" "♪ Keep shooting high" "♪ Be a crooner, not a groaner, never kick" "♪ Here's a spelling lesson that will do the trick" "♪ You've got to S-M-l-L-E" "♪ To be H-A-double P-Y" "♪ Keep it in mind when you're blue" "♪ it's easy to spell and just as easy to do" "♪ You've got to S-M-l-L-E" "♪ it's gonna help considerably" "♪ Just keep your chin up and give it a try" "♪ And you'll find silver-lined clouds in the sky" "♪ You've got to S-M-l-L-E" "♪ To be H-A-double P-Y" "♪ Ladies and gentlemen, just for fun," "♪ I'd like to sing the song again the way it would be done by Al Jolson," "Eddie Cantor," "♪ and last but not least that swingable pair" "♪ Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire" "(as Jolson) ♪ You've got to S-M-l-L-E" "♪ Oh, like the birdies, pretty birdies, up in the tree" "♪ Pretty flowers, April showers" "♪ My mammy" "♪ Life is divine at a quarter to nine" "♪ You simply gotta S-M-l-L-E" "♪ Cos potatoes are cheaper, you see" "♪ I won't spend a nickel, I won't spend a sou" "♪ I just wanna spend one hour with you" "(smacks lips)" "♪ You gotta S-M-l-L-E" "♪ Park yer carcass with Ida, Mammy" "Freddie!" "Well, I feel the spirit of old Sir Walter Raleigh coming out in me." "You wait here, darling, I'll come back for you." "(laughs)" "Hello, Uncle Tommy!" "Hello, Aunt Susan!" " I think you'd better put her down." " There might be more water farther on." " Richard!" "This is a surprise." " Yes, it's a surprise for me too." "Uh..." "Tommy, Mr Randall, this is Mr Hope." " And Miss Ching-Ching Stewart." " Pleased to meet you." " I never thought I'd see you here." " Evidently not." " Weren't you surprised to see him?" " Hardly." "I sent for him." "That's marvellous." "I love surprises, and usually I never get them." " Susan, I think your friends will excuse you." " I'm sorry, I must be going now." " You be awfully careful of her." " She'll be perfectly all right." " I'm sorry if I..." " That's all right." " Goodbye, Ching-Ching." " Goodbye." " You like her, don't you?" " You could call it that." "I don't see how anybody can have fun with that Mr Hope." "I'm afraid fun isn't everything, Ching-Ching." "Come on, we're gonna have a good time." "(speaks Chinese)" " Me likee see one nice piecee tapestry." " This way, please." " Something like this, sir?" " No." "Let me see that one." "(yapping)" "Not bad." "You precious little puppy, you." "You're just like Waify." " Thank you, sir." " Come on, Ching-Ching." "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" " He went that way." " Thank you." "(speaks Chinese)" "Well, Ching-Ching, where do we go from here?" "Hey, where'd you come from?" "Ching-Ching!" "Ching-Ching!" "(speaks Chinese)" "No, wait, this is all a mistake." "Listen, be reasonable." "Ching-Ching!" "There you are, darling." "(speaks Chinese)" " (speaks Chinese)" " Wait." "Give me a chance to explain." "If wishes were keys, there would be no prisoners." "So Sun Lo says." "Good old Sun Lo, always brightening the corner where he isn't." "It's been fun up till now, but it won't be so funny if we miss that boat." " I bet the captain will be pretty mad." " He must be, or he'd be here by now." "We've gotta get out of here." "Well, I guess we'll have to start a rebellion." "Pardon me, would any of you gentlemen be interested in getting out of this jail?" "I said..." "You speak to them." "Tell them about the great outside world." " Ask them how they'd like to see it again." " (speaks Chinese)" "(speaks Chinese)" "Well?" "They're not interested." "They said they like it here." "That's absurd." "Where's their spirit?" "Ask them are they men or are they mice?" "(they speak Chinese)" "Mice." "Well, at last." "Sorry to have caused you so much trouble, Captain." "Now, see here, son." "I've been very lenient with you." "But there's a limit." "You've overstepped it." "If it weren't for this child, I wouldn't be here." " Any news about Ching-Ching?" " Sorry, Miss, not a word." " Oh, I never should've left her with him." " He should've known better." "It's an outrage taking a child of that age out at night in a city like Hong Kong." "Anything could happen." "(both) ♪ indeed I do" "♪ With a box of popcorn, a bag of peanuts and you" "(drunkenly) Tommy, lad!" "To the rescue." "I need you." "(Kay) We missed you, darling." "(Dora) Did you have a good time?" "We missed not having you, darling." " Tommy, it was such a nice party." " Glad you enjoyed yourselves." "Just the little matter of a taxi fare." "Could I impose on you?" " Don't tell me you've been robbed again." " Clean." "Miss Parker." "Miss Parker, here they come." "That's better." "Nine and two are eleven." "Four and three are seven." "He thought I didn't have a card." "I trumped his ace." "You should've seen his face." "It was on a redouble." " They play a lot of bridge in Bangkok?" " Great bridge town." "We call it Bridgeport." "No, you're really very fortunate moving in with our crowd." "Only last week, JB" " JB Bradley, I mean - said to me, "Dick." Calls me Dick for short." ""Dick," he said, "I'm sure your missis is gonna like it here."" " You will, too." " Oh, I know I will." " Tell her about the house, Richard." " Oh, yes." "But just a description of it doesn't do it justice." "It's absolutely modern." "Lots of closet space." "Fully equipped laundry." "It's just as good as any house in any American suburb." "And roomy too." "I'll show you." "Kinda L-shaped." "This is our room." " This is Mother's room." " Mother's?" "Yes." "Oh, you think she'd be better off in this one?" "(Richard) I don't know." "Bangkok is a very romantic city, isn't it?" "There are a lot of old temples and places like that." "But our colony doesn't bother with the native things." "We have our own little set." "Fine, substantial people too." "Bridge and tennis." "You know your opponents so well you can tell in advance every move." "That must be interesting." "Susan!" "Susan!" "You should be taking a nap, you and your dolls." "My dolls are." "Shut your eyes and put out your hand." "I've something for you." "All right." " Susan, where did that come from?" " From Uncle Tommy." " Who?" " Oh, I asked him not to buy it." "Look, he bought me a bracelet too." " Why, that must've cost..." " $300." "I saw the price tag." "$300!" "He wouldn't have spent that much money if he hadn't felt you were interested." " I don't think I need even answer that." " You'll return it, won't you?" "Certainly." "I asked Mr Randall not to buy it." " Shall I give back my bracelet too?" " No, darling." "I think you'd better go take your nap or play or something." "Still, he might've meant it as a wedding present." "In that case, there'd be no harm in your keeping it." "After all, it did cost quite a lot." "Will my boy be happy with a girl like that?" " Sometimes I wonder." " Of course I will, Mother." " Why do you say that?" " Oh, I don't know." "Susan seems to have changed a great deal lately." "She'll be all right after we're married." "Well, it's about time we declared an armistice." "I've been feeling terrible, Susan." "Well, this is very pretty, but of course I can't accept it." "Take back your baubles, is that it?" "Listen, Susan, I think you're being very..." "What, is it as bad as all that?" " Don't you like me any more?" " That has nothing to do with it." "Well, don't you?" "Not particularly." "You know what you tell me:" "keep your chin up and you'll be OK." "As Sun Lo says, the strongest man in the world cannot lift a heavy heart." "Why is your heart heavy?" "You know that Mr Hope?" "Well, Susan's gonna marry him." "Oh!" "She'll have Mrs Hope for a mother-in-law." "It'll serve her right, too." "Oh, no!" "Nobody should have Mrs Hope for a mother-in-law." "Ah, there you are, young lady." "Just the one I want to see." "I've got a surprise for you." "As an unshelled nut is to a squirrel, so is a surprise to him who receives it." "Righto, darling." "You're going to leave the ship at Singapore." "What?" "Now, you run down below and start to get ready." "Then when you come back, I'll tell you the rest." "You oughta give Uncle Tommy a surprise too, just to make him feel better." " He's been in the..." "What was it?" " Doghouse." "With Mr Wu." " What is all this?" " I just received this wireless from Shanghai." " What will the consul do with her?" " There's a home for girls in Shanghai." " He'll probably see she's placed in it." " Home for girls?" "You mean grey uniforms and pigtails?" "Ching-Ching was never meant for that." "I know, old man, but I'm afraid it's about all that can be done for her." "Captain, wait a minute." "This may sound crazy, but why can't I adopt her?" "Now, see here, son." "You're a bachelor." "And quite a bachelor." "No court would turn a child over to you." " It would be different if I were married?" " Well, naturally." " It's a horrible step." " I don't think you need worry, old man." "You haven't got time now." " Excuse me." "Have you seen Ching-Ching?" " Yes." " Do you know where she is?" " Yes." "Well, would you mind telling me?" "Below, getting ready to leave the ship at the next stop." "They're putting her in a home for girls." "She'll be marching in lockstep and eating gruel within a week." " I hope you like it." " Oh, Tommy." " Tears won't help." " But surely something can be done." "This can't happen to Ching-Ching." "I don't know." "Wait a minute." "You're gonna marry old sourpuss, aren't you?" " I beg your pardon?" " Sorry, no of fence meant." "Look, I tried to adopt Ching-Ching, but I'm unmarried." " You're getting married." " Richard might..." " You don't want her to go to an institution?" " Of course not." "Then listen." "I've gone completely soft about that kid." "Incredible, I know, but true." "Adopt her." "Let me pay for her upbringing until I can take her myself." "That'll be as quick as I can get to the States and come back with a wife." "Will you do it?" "It wouldn't be for long." "You may not believe it, but there are quite a few girls back home willing to marry me." "At least there used to be." "It's not for me, it's for Ching-Ching." " I'll do it." " I knew you would." "May I speak to you, Susan?" " Pardon me." " Certainly." "Susan, I'm awfully sorry if I annoyed you in speaking of that bracelet as I did." "Imagine my becoming so upset over a mere trinket." "Absurd, isn't it?" "Oh, I was a little upset myself." "I'm sorry." "There, that's better." "Everything's all right now." "Here we are, the three happy Hopes." "One, two, three, and away we go." "Mother was a little weepy when you stalked out." "Somehow she got the idea you'd prefer her not to live with us." " Why, whatever could've given her that idea?" " I don't know." "But I told her we couldn't get along without her." "Didn't I, Mother?" " Well, I don't suppose we could." " That's awfully sweet of you, Susan." "Heaven protect us all from interfering mothers-in-law is what I always say." "Goodness." "I was married myself once and I know what I'm talking about." "Not that Mr Hope's mother didn't mean well, but then, you know... young love." "We do know, don't we?" " Richard." " Yes?" "Just one thing." "Well, I want to adopt little Ching-Ching as soon as we're married." "Whoever heard of such a thing?" "If I don't, they'll put her in an institution." " That's what institutions are for." " Oh, Richard, please." "I'm sure Richard doesn't want to start his married life with a ready-made family." "Especially with a child called Ching-Ching." "It won't be for long, just until Mr Randall gets back." " Randall?" "What's he got to do with it?" " Well..." "You see, it's a favour to him." "He wants to adopt her as soon as he can." "When he gets back to the States, he'll arrange to take her." " Why should I do Mr Randall a favour?" " Why indeed?" "It isn't for him, it's for the little girl." "Think of her future." "Don't meddle with other people's destinies, my dear." "Forget this child." "She got along before she met you and she will after she leaves you." "Dismiss her from your mind completely." "Please, don't you think Richard and I should settle this by ourselves?" "After all, it concerns us." "Anything that concerns Richard concerns me." "I think Mother's right, Susan." " You do?" " Yes." " Your mother's right and I'm wrong?" " Well, yes." "That is, I think you're mistaken." "So do I. I've been mistaken about you and me." " Now, Susan..." " Listen, marriage is for two people." "I'm breaking our engagement." "Richard, she'll come back." "Meanwhile you wait." "The man should always wait, otherwise he's weak." "Ching-Ching!" "Ching-Ching!" "Goodbye, Uncle Tommy." "The captain says I have to go." "No, you don't." "Didn't you say she could be adopted by someone who's married?" "She's going to be." " Here she is now." " Oh, darling." " Don't I have to go ashore?" " Not now." "Tell her, Susan." " Miss Parker's going to adopt Ching-Ching." " I'm not going to be married." " What?" "Oh, but you said..." " I think we'd better go now, darling." "Just a minute." "This isn't really goodbye." "I'll come back for you real soon." "And in the meantime, you won't cry, will you?" "No, Uncle Tommy, but remember, one... one minute of waiting is a century to the hopeful." "I'll remember, Ching-Ching." "Goodbye, sweetie." "If you ever come back again, you won't forget to come and see me, will you?" " I'll be in the orphan asylum in Shanghai." " Oh, sure, we'll look you up." " Won't we?" " Of course we will." "Maybe we'll have some more fun like we had." "We might even go back to jail again." "(Tommy) Yes, we might." "Well, I think I'd better run along now." "Before I really cry." "Goodbye." "We can't let this happen to her." "Look, Susan, I've got an idea." "Please don't say no till you hear me out." "I know exactly what you think of me, but that isn't important now." "Marry me." "Don't misunderstand me." "You wouldn't have to put up with me." "It'd just be a marriage in name only." "Soon as we dock in San Francisco, go to Reno and get a divorce." "My lawyers will take care of everything." "I wish you would." "For Ching-Ching." "It's the only way." " You'd really do that for her?" " I'd do anything in the world for her." " So would I." " Then you will?" "Yes." "Hey, bring her back." " What's that?" " We're getting married." "We want to adopt her." "Come on, Ching-Ching, darling." "We're going back aboard ship again." "For as much as Susan Parker and Thomas Randall have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before this company, and have given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a ring and joining hands," "I pronounce that they are man and wife." "Amen." " All happiness, my dear." "Good luck, my boy." " Thank you." "Twice blessed is he who loves both bride and groom, for their happiness is his." "Congratulations, Mr Randall." "Much joy to you, Mrs Randall." " Thank you." " A sailor's knot is as good as City Hall's." "There'll be some formalities about the child." "I'll have my lawyer take care of that." " Susan, why did you do this?" " Young man, you're talking to my wife." " Richard, dear!" " And you told me to wait." " Are you really and truly my parents now?" " We're the best you've got, darling." "Sun Lo says a child without parents is like a ship without a rudder." "Sun Lo ever say anything about going to sleep?" "Oh, yes." "He said sleep without dreams is given to children for their innocence and old men for their wisdom." "Well, off you go, then." "I'm almost too excited to sleep, but I'll try." " Good night, sweetie." " Good night, Aunt Susan, Uncle Tommy." "Good night, darling, but I'm not your uncle any more." " What are you, then?" " Can't you guess?" "I know." "You're my father now." " Night, Dad." " Good night, honey." " Good night." " Good night." "Well, here you are." "Did the stewardess move your things?" "She said Mrs Hope almost bit her." " I..." " I..." " Go ahead." " No, you." "Well, I was just going to say if there was anything you wanted me to do to lend credibility to the situation, I'll be glad to do it, you know." " People will talk whatever we do." " Sure, of course." "Well, I guess I'll be off." "I don't know how to thank you." "I'll try to make things as easy for you as possible." "I'm cabling my lawyers tonight." "You can go direct to Reno as soon as the boat docks." " Everything's arranged." " Very thoughtful." "Not at all." "You'll like Reno." "It's a fascinating place." "Lots of fresh air and horseback riding." "Full of nice, emotional people." "Oh..." " This is the address you go to." " Thank you." "You're really wonderful." "I suppose you know that." "Well, at the moment, I don't feel very wonderful." "Well, if you must know, I don't feel so good myself." " Good night, Susan." " Good night, Tommy." "I..." "Begging your pardon, sir, where shall I lay out your pyjamas this evening?" " Where you laid them last night." " Oh, dear." "I'm so sorry, sir." "(knocking)" "Come in." "Susan, why didn't you warn me you were going to do this?" "Well, I..." "I didn't have time, and besides... (laughs) it's too late now." " Well, it's hardly funny, is it?" " Not to me." "Well, tell me one thing." "You don't love him, do you?" "Do you?" "No, I don't, but even if I did it wouldn't make any difference." "Yes, it would." "Listen, darling, I've been a worm, I know that now." "But I've had an understanding with Mother." "You can have your way from now on, always, if you'll tell me there's a chance." "Oh, no, Richard." "It wouldn't work." "You know it wouldn't." "You can be nice." "You're nice now, but..." " Please, Susan." " No, really, I'm too confused to talk about it." "I'm even too upset to think about it." "I'll follow you." "I'll follow you until you say yes." "No, Richard, I'd rather you didn't." "You'd better lock this." "♪ One never knows, does one?" "♪ When love will come along" "♪ Then so suddenly life turns out to be a song" "♪ One never knows, does one?" "♪ The moment or the place" "♪ Then right before your eyes" "♪ Someone occupies your embrace" "♪ Someday, look and you'll find two hearts were blessed" "♪ Someday, fate may be kind" "♪ Pray for the future, hope for the best" "♪ One never knows, does one?" "♪ That's just the way it goes" "♪ All at once you hear, hold me, caress me" "♪ And then love may come" "♪ But when?" "♪ One never knows" "♪ Does one?" "You stay in here and I'll wait out in the courtroom." " Is this Mrs Randall?" " Yes." "You mustn't be nervous when your case is called." "I've placed you at the beginning of today's calendar." "Meanwhile, wait here." "That's awfully kind of you, Judge." "This is my first divorce, and I'm a little jittery." "It is a little strange at first, but they all get used to it." " You know, like influenza." " (knocking)" "Come." "Right in here, please." " Susan!" " Darling, I'm so glad to see you." "Oh, this is a surprise." "But I don't understand." "Well, you see, I thought I might want another divorce sometime." "I was sort of curious to see how they made them." "(clears throat)" " Judge Booth, this is Mr Randall." " The husband, I presume?" "Yes." "This is my daughter." " Your daughter?" " Adopted." " How are you, young lady?" " Fine, thank you." "To greet one you love is better for the health than medicine." "Well, I declare." "That sounds like a Chinese proverb." "Judge, you haven't heard anything yet." "Well, well, well." "Come over here and talk to me." "I..." "I tried to stay away, but I found I couldn't." "I had to see you again." "Suppose you and I have our talk in the other room." "Uh..." " Will you excuse us for a few moments?" " Oh, but would it be proper?" " I mean, our being left alone together now." " Oh, it's quite customary." " You're looking very well." " I haven't had a drink in six weeks." " That's wonderful." " No, it isn't, it's terrible." "Still, I'll get along, and it does show what the influence of a good woman can do." " Oh, really?" "Who is she?" " Ching-Ching." "I told you I'd do anything in the world for her." "You've proven that." "Honestly, you wouldn't know me." "I'm a changed man." "I may not be any better, but at least I'm different." "I'm so glad." "You know, you were right about Reno." "It's a fascinating place." " So charming and..." " Susan." "Darling." " Oh, Tommy, please." " Do we have to go through with this?" "Richard is waiting in the courtroom to marry me." "He's gonna take me back to the Orient." "Oh..." "I see." "Well, I guess that's that, isn't it?" "I'm sorry." "Sorrier than I can say." "Everyone rise." "Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye!" "The District Court of Washoe, State of Nevada, is now in session." "The Honourable JG Booth, judge presiding." "Be seated, please." "Case of Randall versus Randall." " Any witnesses for plaintiff?" " The case is uncontested." "In that case, the court would like to call a witness of its own." "But the case is uncontested." "I said the court will call a witness of its own." "Miss Barbara Randall." "We don't want her mixed up in this." "The witness will take the stand." "The defendant will please be seated." " Raise your right hand, please." " I think we can dispense with the oath." " Yes, Your Honour." " Now, Miss Randall." " You can call me Ching-Ching, Judge." " Thank you." "Now, Ching-Ching, the plaintiff alleges general incompatibility." "Have you ever noticed evidence of such a condition existing between the parties to this action?" "To my knowledge, the contestants in this action have manifested nothing but the most harmonious, cordial and friendly feelings towards each other." " But, Your Honour, I object." " Who are you, young man?" " Why, I'm engaged to the plaintiff." " Engaged?" "To a married woman?" " This court recognises no such engagement." " (laughter)" "Now, Ching-Ching, have either of the parties in this action ever evidenced by their conduct any proper legal ground for divorce?" "There's utterly no ground for disturbing the marital status of the contestants." "Most irregular, Your Honour." "The child doesn't know what she is saying." "Oh, yes, she does." "Tell the court." "Isn't this action the result of two grown-up people behaving like children, refusing to admit that they're in love with each other?" "The allegations of the complaint insofar as it refers to..." "Uh..." "Matrimony." "Huh?" " Matrimony." " Oh, yes." " Insofar as it refers to macaroni..." " (lawyer) Macaroni?" "There!" "See, Your Honour?" "The child has obviously been coached." "I was not." "I just forgot what the judge told me to say." " (laughter) - (gavel)" " ls counsel intimating that she is lying?" " Counsel charges just that." "Have you any witnesses to disprove her testimony?" "Do you wish to testify that this child was lying?" "Why..." " No, of course not." " Then you admit that you love Mrs Randall?" "She knows I do." "You, Mrs Randall." "Do you wish to attack this child's veracity?" " Why, no, certainly not." " You admit that you love your husband?" " Well, yes, I do." " Then what's all this nonsense about?" "Divorce denied." "Take your child and go home, both of you, where you belong." "Your Honour, what about me?" "My advice, young man, is to stop tampering with the affections of married women." " Well, we did it, didn't we?" " You bet we did." "Judge, you're simply stravagant." "(♪ "That's What I Want For Christmas")" "Visiontext Subtitles:" "Neil Blackmore" "ENGLISH SDH NN1"