"No, no, no!" "Wait, wait!" "I need some more from you, so that I can finish my movie." "OK." "What do you want to know?" "Why aren't you watching the movie?" "I can't..." "I can't do this now." "Yeah, but wait." "If you can tell-- What I need is..." "If you could stand to tell the story, briefly." "The plot, you mean?" "No, what has happened." "What happened?" "Yes, the process." "How it came about." "Why did you make it, for instance." "On the first anniversary with my girlfriend, she was unfaithful to me." "I moved in with Philip and the guys." "They got a shitty idea, and we made the movie." "And what was the shitty idea?" "It was this piece of shit movie." "HELP, WE'RE IN THE MOVIE BUSINESS" "Only pregnant women rent movies during the day." "Yeah." "We should raise the fees." "Or close." "Is it "celebrate better than a trip", or "celebrate better than with a trip"?" "You bought an anniversary trip to Crete?" "Yes, I did." "Crete is white trash, so that fits Gina." "Could we have one day without slagging Gina?" "No, we can't." "Not when she's of that quality." "She's nice." "She's not nice." "You are not nice." "I'm nice, I'd blow you daily if you asked." "Waddya want?" "I want these." "No, you don't want Dead Snow and Manhunt." "I want Dead Snow and Manhunt!" "We don't rent them out." "I want them!" "No, you don't." "You want Haneke The White Ribbon." "No." "I've seen it." "Why watch Dead Snow and Manhunt?" "It's a study in Norwegian splatter." "Give 'em to me!" "If you rent them, you support an industry making bad movies void of substance." "Industry?" "I won't support that." "Want them?" "I want them." "No, he's not having them, he's having..." "Did You Hear About The Morgans?" "Yes, I heard about them, didn't like 'em." "I want" "You can have Up In The Air." "Know what I got?" "No." "In imaginary shotgun that I pick up" "At home I've your imaginary mother that I do lots of bad things to." "And your brain all over the place." "And my force field repels all." "Give 'em to me." "Can't have 'em." "Get the boss!" "He's right there!" "Hi." "Hi." "I'm not really the boss..." "Well, I know that." "I'm having this." "No, you can't." "I'll take it." "That's stealing." "No, I'm taking it." "Hey!" "Come on!" "Asshole!" "I need some candy for the dragon-party." "No, don't" "You can't pay for it, forget it!" "Post it as shrinkage." "Can't Kim and Lennart fix it?" "They've lots of important stuff to do." "Blood in the corner of the dragon's mouth?" "Hm?" "Blood?" "By the dragon's mouth?" "That won't look very nice." "Well, it's..." "It's not the dragon's blood." "Like it just ate a baby..." "Baby blood pouring out..." "It ate a small family." "It's nice as it is." "I'll draw a little blood..." "No, you don't." "Does it scare you?" "Stop behaving like a brat." "I think I'll draw a little blood..." "No, you won't." "I'll do it now." "One...two..." "No, you won't!" "Don't...don't touch..." "You're getting gay all over me." "Yes, I am." "Think it's contagious?" "A little." "Don't touch" "Ticklish!" "a widower" "See that little dog, Eline?" "a daughter" "Yes." "a memento for life" "It's for you." "Hey, puppy." "award-winner" "It's a little boy, but you can call it Vibeke." "Yes." "After mum." "If you name your dog Vibeke..." "It's creepy when you call for it." "Vibeke!" "Vibeke!" "He's pulling loads of women, being in movies." "All actors do." "Not all!" "Not Kristoffer Joner." "I need to buy flowers." "And you need to lock up." "Is that OK?" "Yeah." "Can you manage?" "I'll manage that." "Hi!" "Oh!" "Hi!" "What's...?" "Come on, Gina!" "It's melting." "Need more whipped cream." "Well, maybe you haven't met..." "My cousin." "No." "Hi." "I'm Kenneth." "We're having a discussion group." "Now?" "Yes." "Good timing." "Who..?" "Didn't know about the colloquium." "I thought we were allowed to have some fun." "For fuck's sake." "Is anything wrong?" "DIE, MOTHERFUCKER!" "YOU INCESTUOUS BASTARDS!" "Are you crying?" "What's happening?" "Fuck that bitch!" "I've tried telling you." "She's...know what she is?" "Like a drain." "Like the clusters of disgusting stuff, that's her." "What's happening?" "Not now!" "Gina..." "Gina's been unfaithful." "Been?" "Is unfaithful, as we speak." "Caught in the act, riding a guy with lots of whipped cream and stuff." "Gina dumped Glenn." "I wasn't dumped." "You were." "No, I wasn't." "The good thing is, you can move in with us." "You can stay..." "You can stay in" "Not in my room." "I snore, and prefer doing that by myself." "Not my room." "I jack off a lot, so..." "You can stay..." "On the couch." "The couch will be great." "It'll be fine." "Alcoholocaust, alcoholocaust!" "What's that?" "A tooth." "My tooth." "I can see that." "What happened?" "Were you knocked down?" "More or less." "Talk to the dentist?" "When I was little, a new one appeared." "That's no baby tooth." "Look at Mr. Movie Star." "I'm so popular, they all love me!" "Gets laid every second week, at least." "Wading in women's juices." "You need to fix that tooth." "Hi." "Hi." "Should we..." "You OK?" "Yeah..." "We talked about something." "Maybe you should find something else to think about." "I don't wanna think." "You can't bury yourself." "You just need to get out, get a rebound, a lady of quality." "Don't want a quality lady." "Well, that I've seen." "Look at Wilhelm Krag, he's a movie guy." "Ladies love guys like that." "Wanna be a movie guy?" "I am a movie guy." "Being at Blockbuster doesn't cut it." "Remember Takashi Miike's movie, he sets up a fake audition to get ladies, what was it?" "Audition." "Audition." "No, forget it!" "It's actually a good idea." "No, no!" "Don't!" "No!" "OK." "Have you seen....relax." "Have you seen that?" "He thinks it's a baby tooth that will grow back." "Oh, shit!" "So, no audition?" "No audition." "Yes, forget it." "OK." "Can we go?" "Can't stand being here." "That was a great idea." "Yeah, hi, it's me." "Since this ain't working too well, I took your stuff over to Philip." "Two banana-boxes." "And the bills, the phone bill, I don't know where you've called." "Eh, yeah, I'll send it over, so take care of it." "Hope you're doing fine." "Kisses to you." "Bye!" "Hey!" "What's happening here?" "Hush!" "Shut the fuck up!" "What are they doing here?" "Cases!" "Rat corpse put them there." "Why are we whispering?" "Because of the audition." "Are we really" "Yes!" "Fuck you!" ""Terror in the bewitched forest"?" "Hi." "What is that?" "Role play horror." "You're the pretend director." "Role play horror?" "Horror in a role play setting." "Will be great." "But we're not actually...?" "Yes, we are" " What is it?" "Remember the neighbors?" "Making a time machine." "Come on in." "Nice to see you." "Last time you started crying." "Hello, neighbors." "Hey." "Audition time?" "For girls only!" "For nobody." "Can I play the guitar?" "It's not that kind of audition." "What sort of movie is it?" "Role play horror." "Can you go out now?" "Lots of girls signed up on Facebook." "Why just girls?" "Need a guy too, maybe?" "There's no movie!" "Lasse knows "The Buckride", if you need someone to recite that." "They could try out..." "They can't!" "Got milk?" "Lots." "Can we borrow some?" "Why?" "We're making something with milk." "Hush!" "Yeah." "Fuck." "Check the fridge." "Just a few practical questions first." "Did you dress up for the audition?" "No." "Your marital status?" "Marital status?" "Quite single." "Single." "Sexual leaning?" "Any damages we should know?" "Hips?" "Prolapse?" "No." "Aids?" "No." "Are you uncomfortable?" "Better if you take off your jacket?" "Yeah." "Take it off." "Better." "Any diseases?" "Apart from overweight?" "No, the coat of mail..." "I can't read this." "No, the coat of mail's wrath..." "...we're looking for a woman, so..." "Oh, OK, it said audition, so..." "Nobody made any rules for that." "Any experience in acting?" "A little." "Yes, a little." "What have you done?" "More like...body language, not much" "Porn?" "A demon flies into the scene and rapes you." "It comes in while I'm reading?" "Are you a Resistance Fighter or a Balduvian Warmaker?" "I'm thinking we could" "Are we casting more roles?" "I want you!" "Did you mean it when you said it?" "Yes, I meant it." "Turn around, let's try it once more." "Action!" "I want you!" "That was good." "Much better." "What about intercourse?" "I'm all for it." "Who's who?" "Who's directing?" "I'm directing." "OK." "Then I'll look just at you." "We're making a movie," "we need more actors." "Keep the focus here?" "Good luck!" "OK, thank you." "Fingers crossed, not the legs." "Are we through?" "This is very silly." "Wait just a little..." "Hi!" ""Terror in the bewitched forest"?" "Cool!" "Yeah, it's quite cool." "Yes." "Eh..." "I'll just start, then?" "Can we take part?" "No." "Fuck off!" "Fucking hell, what guys!" "Blogging about your audition?" "I'm not auditioning!" "I'm here with a friend." "Wouldn't get a part, anyway." "How d'you know?" "Because you're drunk." "Are you drunk?" "A little, maybe." "Blog about that." ""Dear Blog, today I'm drunk."" "You have a very sensual mouth." "I know." "Many have said so." "Try shutting it sometimes." "Try blogging about it." "Can I blog about the mouth?" "I'll put my hand in." "Look at the size." "Ooh, imagine the cock!" "The screaming bird is on the stairs." "The vortex can be groomed anytime." "Don't wait for me." "Don't give me magical points." "Just make sure the dragon is pushed back." "Don't wait for me." "Yes, thank you." "Yes, OK?" "So, have you seen all you need...?" "OK?" "I didn't greet you properly." "I'm Linda." "Glenn." "It was Fisted Sisters." "It's a totally Fresh Fist." "How come I fist..." "Isabell?" "Linda!" "How did it go?" "Well..." "It went quite OK." "Quite OK?" "Quite OK, yes." "Nice meeting you." "Yes." "She was beautiful." "She was so nice." "It doesn't get any better." "She was nice." "But..." "I think I'll...go outside." "Will you follow her?" "No." "It's very romantic to follow somebody." "No, I'm going out for coffee." "That's not very romantic, Glenn." "I rented "Love Actually" to watch later." "Did you?" "!" "No." "Double orange mocha." "Double orange mocha." "Here." "Non-fat?" "Non-fat, yes." "But..." "There's lots of whipped cream." "I can't have whip." "I wanted non-fat." "No whip." "It's non-fat with whip." "Can't be non-fat with whip." "Easy." "That's non-fat, that's whip." "I asked for non" "Don't know, bud." "I make what they tell me." "Shit!" "Shit!" "Who did we bump into, Linda?" "This is Glenn, the director of the movie I auditioned for." "Hi." "Hi, director." "I'm really sorry..." "Sorry." "It's OK." "I'll manage." "I'm very good at self-cleaning." "I'm good." "I'm fine." "Sure we shouldn't wipe you off in the men's room?" "No, it's OK." "I'm fine." "Off to the liquor store." "Bye, fuckers." "It's..." "Bye." "Look at this!" "No..." "You've got some..." "Yes." "You were very good." "Not now, but at the..." "Yeah?" "Thank you." "You think so?" "I walk right into the blog-trap." "She was nice." "Nice for a blogger." "No, not her." "Linda, the blonde one." "Porn-hot, not vulgar." "A nice...see her top?" "Bathing suit" "Oh yeah, that girl." "She was a 5 out of 6, wasn't she?" "36 on a role play dice" "That's 5 on the dice." "Incredible looks." "The set-up worked." "Was I right?" "Say I'm right!" "You're always right." "Say I'm right in unison." "And I came home, and I open the door, and "hello!", and it's a food sex orgy" "No!" "Yes!" "It was..." "No!" "You kidding!" "Whipped cream everywhere, strategically placed on him..." "My God!" "That's awful!" "Cream Boy!" "But..." "Strange telling you this..." "Are you OK now, or what?" "Don't know why I'm telling you." "You know what?" "Unfortunately, I'm sad to say, I've got a better story." "Better than the whip story?" "Me and this guy, we were engaged." "I came home, into the living room, and he's lying on the table, with two girls, having some sort of creepy threesome, and he sees me, startles and falls down, breaking his arm" "in three places." "OK, don't mean to laugh." "Feel free." "So I have to drive him to the ER and wait with him and he'd been doing this for a while, and I knew nothing." "So, that's it, and to apologize, he'd bought tickets to Crete, I believe." "Not cool?" "No, come on!" "Crete's lame." "Crete's lame." "So...yes." "That's how it is." "What...what will you be doing now?" "Nothing, really." "No?" "Would you like to..." "Come see something cool?" "Love cool!" "Yeah?" "Yeah!" "Oh yeah!" "I'm a bit embarrassed now." "But..." "OK." "But embarrassed is good." "Yes?" "Yes?" "Should we drink up and leave?" "Let's do that." "I'll stop here." "Want me to stop?" "Yes." "I'll remove my hands." "OK." "And you must promise not to look." "Promise?" "OK." "Keep them closed?" "Yes, I do." "OK." "I'll remove my hands." "OK." "But I can't see?" "OK." "I'll keep them closed." "Yes?" "OK, open your eyes." "Open!" "Yeah, OK." "What is this place?" "My mum owns it, but..." "It's never being used, so it's become my place." "Certainly different from Blockbuster!" "Blockbuster?" "Yes." "Eh..." "I..." "I used to work at Blockbuster for a while." "Yeah." "Right?" "But...was that...fun?" "It was quite OK." "But now you're making movies." "Yes, now I'm doing what I want to do, of course." "So, that's cool." "So...when will this movie start shooting?" "In about a month." "That's not a long time." "No." "But that'll be fine." "Anyone getting to work with you, is very lucky." "Do...do you want it?" "What?" "The part." "Do you want the part?" "Do I want the part?" "Yes?" "Yes!" "You're offering it to me?" "Yes." "Yes, of course I want the part!" "You said what?" "I don't know what happened, it just slipped out." "Slipped out?" "Yes, I think I like her." "Is that foolish?" "Not to like her." "It's foolish to say you're making a movie." "Tell her it's off." "I can't do that now." "Of course you can." "No, I can't." "Wait, listen!" "When we've had our live role plays..." "Sometimes we've filmed it with a couple of cameras, and had a guy edit it down." "That's what making a movie is." "I mean, if we..." "We can make a movie, if we get hold of some cameras." "Film it with iPhone." "We could." "No iPhone, we're not filming anything." "Webcam." "What do we do?" "Tell her it's off." "Or try, see how far we get." "No, fuck off." "You fuck off." "You just sit here, scared." "Look at us, we're a fucking parody." "Just sitting here, playing Scrabble Plus." "Well, it's fun." "We never do anything with our lives." "Lennart wanted to be an illustrator." "Now you're selling lottery scratch-off cards for a hospital." "And you aimed at DJ." "I am a DJ." "You're no DJ." "No gigs, no one knows you." "I'm well known on the internet." "We never do anything." "We have a lot of... dreams and ambitions we never realize." "You want to make movies." "This is our chance." "We have an actress." "We can try, see how far we get." "I don't know..." "Yes, you do." "We can do it, trust me." "The four of us, as a team, can do it!" "Quit my job?" "You don't have a job, so..." "We'll call in sick." "What do we need, two weeks?" "I won't go to work." "Nobody will miss me." "But I want to make the movie poster." "What?" "I want to make the poster." "You can make the poster." "Maybe you should have a look at that tooth?" "PRE-PRODUCTION" "Camera moves here." "Down there?" "There." "Mask on, come here." "I'll sever the head." "But first it goes here." "Once again." "What will you do?" "I'm the producer." "How difficult is it to direct?" "If Leon Bashir can do it, so can we." "You're a zombie." "Ready?" "Crushes the head." "Got spoons?" "Not now." "Spoons?" "You're in the axis." "What axis?" "We'll need more actors?" "How many do we need?" "How many are there...?" "Give me that." "Give me one of those movies." "How many?" "Two actors." "What about Krag?" "Yes, it's kind of a role play horror movie." "Role play horror." "Role play horror." "It's really a lot about love, too." "Not a lot." "A little." "Yeah, OK, and you want me to play the lead?" "We've got 15 pages." "Don't we need 30 for a script?" "30 pages?" "We have a dragon, so no need." "You could make the music." "My dragon, my dragon." "So, who else said yes?" "No one famous, but we've got Linda Holm, heard of her?" "Linda Cecilie Holm?" "Krag is in." "Is it just me, or does he dress like an 80 year old?" "Show me." "Love .Passion." "Show me." "Love." "Imagine the credits." "We need to have credits in English." "Directed by Glenn." "We need boards, ads, we need radio spots." "Jingles are cool." "Terror in the bewitched forest." "From the time of The Ages comes" "Terror in the bewitched forest." "Die, motherfuckers!" "Guys, let's finish the game." "OK." "From the time..." "Where's my board?" "You had the last word." ""Demego" isn't a word." "It is a word." "It's food." "Food?" "We need those ladies." "And we need to see..." "We need to see who we can get..." "We need a stuntman, don't we?" "Hi, I'm Glenn." "And I'm gay." "Hi, this is Vendela Louise Holm." "Hi, Mrs. Holm." "It's Linda's mother." "Linda has been telling me about that movie you are making." "It sounds so interesting." "Could we have a meeting?" "She is very, very wealthy." "And...she's got a private chauffeur, owns a huge boat." "Probably wearing one of those suits that rich people with no time have." "Be professional." "Did you fix the tooth?" "You got laughing gas." "Perfect!" "Pull yourself together!" "OK, boys." "I'll be honest." "My daughter Linda, whom you know, has had a deplorable career, sadly." "My God, at her age, I was a huge star, as you well know." "I danced, sang opera, surely you remember etc., it was wonderful, lots of people, huge success." "Now, I've been thinking, toying with the idea of expanding, and after taking over the company from my husband," "I've thought about investing in new areas, like the movies." "So why not kill two birds with one stone?" "Out with it!" "What can you offer?" "What do you mean...offer?" "I mean, why should I invest in your movie?" "Yes, why would you...?" "Why would you?" "You want to because..." "it is a... very interesting...script with..." "dragons and..." "We've got dragons and violence, suspense and action, what people want in a movie." "And Peter Stormare, he's in it." "OK, he's gorgeous." "He's quite a dish!" "He's very dishy, that's the thing now." "The fact that he said yes." "And...and..." "So Stormare is in it." "Stormy!" "Storm, as I...just call him..." "S!" "This stays between us?" "Linda can't know anything!" "No, this is...confidential." "Great!" "Great." "Great." "Any amount...?" "Yes, the amount I was thinking of..." "Plus minus...two." "Two?" "Two million." "Dollars." "That's about..." "That's what we were thinking." "Two million dollars." "We'll make 100 movies." "No, we can't make a 100 movies." "We need to start spending." "We need stuff for the production." "We need a cool car." "And I need a new sword." "We can't buy lots of..." "No, listen!" "Get a production manager." "I know a good one." "You've done this work before?" "You'll manage this...?" "Yes, I'll manage this movie." "That's why I'm here." "That's how I work." "I can fuck this job in the ass." "That's how I work." "OK." "Yes." "I can take this job." "Take it home." "It has a tight asshole, and I can" "Quite clever what she's doing, personifying the job." "Are you lovebirds done?" "We're working, right?" "He's gay, I'm extremely hetero." "OK." "We got ridiculous amounts of money." "In hindsight, I can see that... wasn't smart." "But then it seemed right to just spend it all." "Hi." "Sleep well?" "Hey!" "Cover yourself!" "Dick!" "Hello." "Party's over, so you need to..." "Bye!" ""Free Money." What's that?" "Free money, I guess." "Did we spend it all?" "Don't think so." "Shooting starts tomorrow, and you've spent it all." "Great work, well done!" "It'll be OK." ""It'll be OK"?" "What are you talking about?" "I'm fed up with your "It'll be OK"!" "We're up shit creek on the way to hell." "And Linda will" "Stop talking about Linda!" "Are we all set?" "Got it all?" "Where are the actors?" "Lights?" "Sound?" "How can you say that?" "Aren't you paying attention?" "Eh?" "Let's just try and" "Shut the fuck up, OK?" "The money's spent." "A lot's been paid for, a lot remains." "We will fix this." "Yes." "Shut up, let me finish fucking this job!" "What the hell!" "Congrats!" "FIRST DAY OF SHOOTING" "Glenn!" "This is the first AD, Helene." "Hi." "Glenn." "Hi." "Where were you during pre-production?" "Director." "Your cinematographer, Mikael." "Hi." "Mike." "Glenn." "I need your shotlist and storyboard." "Now?" "Here?" "Right now." "Hi." "Jeppe." "Stunts." "Security." "Stormare's double." "Speaks Swedish." "Listen:" "Polar bread." "I like shrimps and mayo." "NOT NOW!" "Hi!" "There you are." "Hi." "We haven't had read-throughs" "You mentioned that at the party." "Yes." "The party." "Was I...stupid?" "No, no." "You were fantastic." "You think so?" "Hi." "Linda." "Hi." "Why are you here?" "I'm in the movie." "Don't you read the call sheet?" "Call sheet?" "What's a call sheet?" "Sort of a time plan" "I can't be bothered." "Fiery lady." "What's the story...?" "Let's say we've had a little..." "Oh, yes!" "Get that camera!" "What's she" "No, she's not." "No photos on the web from the set!" "She's stopped." "So remove the finger, or I'll break it." "FINE!" "SAFETY FIRST!" "What is it--?" "Excuse me." "You come here to make out with me to get a part?" "No, I'm here to make out with Glenn." "Glenn!" "No." "Don't bother him." "He's not interested." "Stills photographer." "Stills photographer?" "Word?" "Word." "Nerd." "Hi!" "Having fun on the first day on set?" "Look happy!" "Hold him." "Show the love." "Love." "Put your arm around him." "Great." "Don't..." "Not much time." "You need to fix it!" "Aargh!" "I will kill you!" "Down!" "Not that hard!" "OK." "Seriously." "We need to cut." "CUT!" "Say "Cut."" "It's "Cut."" "Napkins and water, please." "Napkins for the pussy with blood in his eyes!" "Shut up." "You shut up!" "Thank you." "Let's reset!" "What's up?" "What sort of movie is this?" "I'm just told to turn a corner." "Then a bunch of people attack me!" "You need to choreograph it." "Then a Swede pours blood in" "I am Swedish." "You're not Swedish." "What is this?" "Making a movie." "I know that." "What's the scene?" "What happens before and after?" "What's my motivation?" "Motivation?" "Zargi The Wizard comes out of the role play realm, you need to stop him." "Didn't ask you." "It's basic." "I told him to say that." "Noob." "You've some blood here." "We'll fix this." "Do we have..." "Is it PA?" "PA!" "Yes." "Yes." "So..." "Be right there." "Yes." "Bye." "Bye." "Bye." "Be strange if I depart, and don't live here." "End up on the pavement like..." "That's strange." "Just standing there..." "Yes." "But..." "I'll just..." "lean back..." "Just wanted to say..." "Thank you, and that..." "I'm sorry I didn't tell about Wilhelm, but I didn't know." "No, it's...fine, you know." "And you've been great so far." "You, too, have been great." "Yes, OK." "Bye." "Bye." "You're so hot for Glenn." "No." "Yes." "I am..." "In love." "I am a pro." "A pro, sure." "In which movie are you pro?" ""Terror in the bewitched forest"?" "Exactly." "Let's go." "No insurance?" "You're crashing cars..." "It's your job to fix..." "Only what I'm told." "You need to get it." "That's not how it is." "Oh, welcome." "You've joined in." "Good work." "Eh?" "You said you'd fuck the job." "No, never said." "You did." "In the ass." "You can't fuck a job in the ass." "There's no ass here." "Is there?" "No." "Four assholes, but no ass." "She's fucking nothing." "What's that?" "The "Behind the scenes" director." "Why?" "'Cause he's making "Behind the scenes"." "It's in the contract." "The "behind the scenes", it's all here." "Can you answer a question?" "What's happening now?" "It's been our first day of shooting." "And our papers are messy." "Have you done this before?" "No, you didn't think at all." "No." "You can't think." "No thinking muscle." "You don't use a muscle to think..." "Who's that Northerner?" "He's the illustrator." "Who?" "Illustrator on this movie." "Know what I'll do with this?" "Look." "Here's what I'll do with your shit." "Relax, have a coffee." "Don't..." "Can't..." "She can't leave." "We had practically agreed on a date next week." "Glenn, don't touch the actors' photos." "Just checking the..." "Listen to this." "Kim, breathe into the bag, you'll be OK." "Let's just drop the whole movie." "Nobody drops anything." "We'll do it." "I'll be production manager." "I'll call Stormare." "You two..." "First: calm down." "No more screaming." "You two, Kim and Lennart, go out and get investors." "We need more money." "You'll fix it." "Call all the finance papers." "Tell them we've got a great movie." "Who is that?" "Jesper and Lasse, what is it now?" "Got any cinnamon?" "DAY 10" "The staff is worried." "Nobody's been paid for a week." "I know." "What's happening?" "Some tax stuff, it'll be OK." "This is like Taschunga in '96 with Jimmy Caan." "Yeah?" "Not good." "Talks to me about movies." "What's up, motherfucker?" "Is this Peter Stormare?" "Depends who's calling." "Philip, calling from Norway." "Then speak Norwegian?" "Fucking idiot." "Yes." "Sure." "Who the fuck gave you this number?" "The producer on "Switch"." "Cool." "What do you want?" "We're making a role play horror." "What?" "What are you saying?" "Role play horror." "So you need Stormare Starpower?" "Stormare?" "Starpower!" "Stormare Starpower, yes." "OK, what's this shit you're making?" "The plot is..." "It's like Lord Of The Rings." "We want you to be the wizard." "Zargi, The Evil Wizard." "60 levels wizard." "Hold on!" "I need to ask the agent." "Talk to my agent here." "He says no." "He did?" "Then I'm sorry..." "We may be able to fix this." "I'm on my way to Tokyo to be Ninja King." "I could be in Oslo for one day on my way to Tokyo." "That's perfect." "One day." "All the scenes in one day." "Of course." "And Euros." "I'd like them under the table." "Oh, Euros." "Like the curren" "Philip!" "Shut the fuck up now!" "Pick up the phone, Eduardo!" "Your phone, jefe!" "Stormare says yes!" "OK." "Great!" "What chemistry!" "Cut!" "It's awesome." "Hey!" "Don't speak during a take." "That time of the month?" "Shut up." "You just don't." "That's nice." "Sure." "Go to a 40?" "No." "Any plans for dinner?" "What?" "Are you hungry?" "No." "Or yes, I've got plans for dinner." "With whom?" "Yourself?" "No." "Fancy some crispy duck?" "Go to Noodle and get some." "It's real good." "I can't believe you." "I'm really sorry about what happened." "But, come on!" "Crispy duck?" "Wilhelm, it's not happening, so just..." "Come on!" "No crispy duck for me." "Eat crispy duck alone." "Or with some other girl." "There is no other girl, just you." "I still love you very much." "I think you love yourself." "Come on, that's too simple." "You've got some lipstick there, by the way." "OK, let's check the gate on that one." "We go to 57?" "Stormare said yes." "That's so cool." "Great." "DAY 15" "Cut." "Yes?" "I don't understand." "Do we need the..." "Yes." "You're girls, aren't you?" "Bare skin on film, it's gonna look fucking great." "You know what?" "Let's do this with some clothes on." "Lucky I'm here now." "Yes, lucky." "Best of luck in Grimstad." "Can you clean this up?" "I'm sorry about...all this mess." "I know it stressful for you." "We tried to..." "In this scene, we tried to project the 1950's pin-up girl thing." "Maybe it didn't work like we envisioned." "Yes, I understand that." "And you're watching over it, so..." "it ended up quite well." "And it's...there's a lot of other... too, and that's..." "There's something I need to tell you now." "OK?" "What?" "No, it's....no." "Please, do tell!" "It's not important..." "I just wanted to say..." "I think..." "I think you're great." "You're... and... very cute." "So!" "Thank you." "You're in love!" "Do you need more?" "I just made a question if you're in love?" "Don't know." "Oh!" "Anyway, it's "ask a question"." "Yeah, sure." "DAY 20" "You're being self-taught." "Self-taught?" "Where do I get the knowledge?" "I can't be self-taught." "Do I practice?" "Yes." "You have your master's voice in your head at all times." "Doesn't he appear in the last scene?" "But he died 150 years ago." "We need to start now!" "I need some time. 5 minutes." "I don't even know what this scene's about." "I can't just improvise." "We need to make time for instructing the actors." "This can't go on." "That goes for all." "Don't be in my eyeline, it's damn frustrating." "When I do a love scene with Esmerelda," "I can't see a fat PA scratching his ass." "Imagine you're in puberty to become" "Nothing's valid." "Can't use it." "You need to trust me." "Trust Glenn." "Wanna listen to that guy?" "Know where your career will go?" "No." "A crap review, and you on the front page." "You're a jerk!" "You're the jerk." "Are you in love?" "And you're a crap director." "Hi." "Hi, how are you doing?" "A bit mixed, but it'll be fine." "Mum?" "Hi, my girl." "Why are you here now?" "I just wanted to see you, see how you work." "OK, but couldn't you have told me first." "You know what?" "No Danish during the breaks." "Let's look at that script..." "Don't eat much." "Drink water." "Can't eat when working." "Goes to the cheekbones." "Hers are beautiful, like mine." "It's very important to mind that." "Don't know how I'd look if I'd eaten it all," "Face upside down, eyes bottom, God knows what." "She's good, isn't she?" "She's fantastic." "Fantastic." "So fun when it's hereditary." "Talent won't stay secret." "I really believe in you." "That's good." "It's very..." "So don't disappoint me." "Don't do that." "Wow." "Now, that's strong!" "Invest in a Norwegian movie?" "Yes." "And we have a dragon." "Big dragon." "Two...three naked ladies." "What's the movie about?" "Well, it's about..." "It...it...it..." "It's about a wizard." "Not Harry Potterish, not gayish..." "No offence." "He's gay." "Not that it..." "I'm straight." "OK." "So, are there any stars in it?" "I don't mean Norwegian stars." "Did we say Peter Stormare's in it?" "No." "That's good information." "Peter Stormare?" "Yes." "He's in it." "How should the movie end?" "Hello!" "Hm?" "She doesn't see anything in him." "He's just an old guy." "It's kind of stillborn." "Imagine his apartment." "Blackout curtains, in case." "Non-slider shower mat, barometer." "The big lunches." "Dinner at noon." "What if she doesn't like me?" ""Can't do stunts"." "Afraid his hip will go." "Maybe I'll just tell it." "Glenn, please." "Don't ruin this for me." "Ruin for you?" "It's my..." "Can I help you?" "When will we get paid?" "You'll get it when you'll get it." "When's that?" "It's been a long time..." "Salary is on the 25th." "Today's the 31st." "Get a loan, I don't know." "It'll be OK." "Get a loan?" "You owe us a lot of money!" "You know what?" "Right now...you need to go!" "Turn 180 degrees and leave, or I'll smash your fucking face in." "We've got a distributor." "Investors, everything is OK." "You do?" "For sure?" "Oh, that's nice." "I've got one just like it." "See?" "It's all fine." "Go where you came from, fetch me a coffee." "Sugar, easy on the cream." "Bring a biscuit." "I work lights." "Then get a light coffee." "Lights?" "Cool!" "Show me how that works." "Very good!" "See?" "It all turns out fine." "Nice to see you." "Welcome, all three of you." "In August, "Terror In The Bewitched Forest" will open." "Wilhelm, that sounds exciting." "It is exciting." "It's unique and different." "It's quite special, because word of mouth is great even before the shoot is over." "I think Twitter and Facebook spread the excitement." "People pick up on it, for which I'm very grateful." "Rumour has it that you and Linda are an item, Glenn." "Any truth in that?" "No comment." "A buddy of ours on the set sent us this picture." "Love is in the air in this picture." "This is nice." "Well, as an actor, you have to... work to achieve a good chemistry with your director, and I feel I have that with Glenn." "Yes, this is good chemistry." "It's a dedicated actor's work you see there." "You and Linda are old sweethearts, Wilhelm?" "A gentleman never tells." "So, the movie opens in August!" "Best of luck!" "Thank you for coming." "Wilhelm, Linda and Glenn!" "In the studio, as we're leaving, it's be natural, it'll be fine." "Glenn!" "How are you?" "Isn't he fantastic?" "Yes." "Yes, he is." "He's mega-fantastic." "You're a mega-whore." "Isabell!" "Hello." "Hi." "Is that chocolate milk?" "With a little Baileys for taste." "Thought you shouldn't drink." "One step at a time." "I need to talk to you." "Is it very important?" "Yes." "I am truly sorry for what I did, you know." "OK." "Is there anything between you and that bimbo?" "Well, we're working together." "She's not like me." "No." "She isn't." "We had good times." "And suddenly there was a lot of whipped cream." "I miss you." "Don't say you don't feel anything." "I can see it." "Look at me!" "Hi." "Hello." "Are you OK?" "Yes..." "I'm fine." "Come here." "What's wrong?" "Well, it's just..." "Glenn." "Nice guy, isn't he?" "It's the eyebrows, and..." "Hi, Philip." "Linda." "Hi." "You can talk to her about it tomorrow." "I have to deal with it now." "Please let me go." "I'm letting go." "Think you could...?" "No, I can't." "Why?" "I got a hard-on when I saw your hairdo." "Can't stand up now." "Walk with a..." "It went away." "Philip!" "Lasse and the guy with glasses have made a fisting-dance." "It's pretty awesome." "Fisting-dance..." "You OK?" "Yes." "You?" "Yes, I'm fine." "I want to say that I'm... sorry if I've been difficult on the set." "No, that's fine." "There's a lot of pressure." "It's unprofessional not to deal with that." "And also, whatever is between you two, I think it's great." "We're just friends." "Yes." "Thank you, so far." "Been great." "Yes, great." "Go easy on the drinking." "Nobody to carry you home." "Will do." "Go ahead, get shitfaced if you want to." "It's OK." "No, it's just..." "No, but if you...want to... get crazy drunk, it's OK." "If you want to." "Do you?" "Or what?" "I don't know." "You're so strange." "Yes!" "It's the last day." "This is it!" "Le grande finale!" "Peter Stormare's coming." "I made that happen." "A huge scene with" "Peter Stormare, extras, a huge, fat animatronic dragon." "The movie is dedicated to all who've been fucked in the ass by the Norwegian Film Fund because your dreams didn't come true." "This is for you." "Fingers crossed." "Motherfuckers." "LAST DAY OF SHOOTING" "We'll go have a look at the dragon that..." "Peter Stormare will be riding." "What is this?" "Is it a dummy?" "What is this?" "The dragon." "When's it finished?" "It's ready." "Stormare's dragon." "Ha, ha!" "This is a school play dragon." "Take it easy, now." "Have you ever seen hot-blooded gums made from building foam?" "Step back, I'll tell you how this dragon works." "I don't care how it works." "The most important thing, is that it's scary." "And it isn't." "See how scary it can be?" "Put your head here." "I can fix it." "I'm sure you can, but look" "I can fix it." "Oh, sorry!" "You're picking up Stormare?" "Yes." "Helene!" "Got more cars?" "He crashed them all." "Are you retarded?" "Are you?" "ARE YOU?" "ARE YOU?" "Doesn't work." "Use that one?" "Eh?" "Use that one?" "If you crash that car, Kim..." "I'll rape you." "OK?" "OK." "Hi." "As long as he doesn't crash the car" "Fuck the car!" "Is Stormare...will he be here?" "Yes." "Are you sure?" "If not, there's no movie." "Could you go out for two minutes, please?" "Thank you." "Why are you so stressed?" "Because I have to lie to her every day!" "No, you don't." "Yes!" "What's not a lie?" "Listen!" "OK, it started with an audition that turned into a movie." "You just reversed the process." "Process?" "All directors end up with their actors." "The last you should think of, is Linda." "When the movie's over, tell it all." "Yes, we will." "As we stop filming." "What is it now?" "Krag?" "Did you hear us back there?" "No." "Sure?" "Yes." "Go to Glenn for a costume talk." "OK." "We're giving you a new costume." "No, I'm wearing this." "No, so tough titty." "Tough?" "Titty!" "Which costume were you thinking?" "Are you OK?" "Was it...?" "Two seconds, Even." "Not right now." "Because I felt that it..." "Two!" "Later, Glenn." "No, Linda, wait!" "Thank you." "Why?" "What's this?" "I just need to do it at once." "Can we..?" "Wait, wait!" "Do you have a bad conscience?" "WHAT?" "We're the investors." "Hi." "Hi, hi!" "We're curious." "Glenn." "Is Stormare coming?" "Is he here?" "Stormare's on the way." "It's great." "We're picking him up right now." "Philip." "Philip!" "Yes." "Can't wear this." "Looks stupid." "No, it doesn't." "It's what your character is wearing." "Glenn said suit." "There's been a change." "I'm a sexy hero." "Be a pro for one minute." "Please!" "He's not here." "Peter ." "Stormis." "Peter Stormare." "Wait, he's due any minute." "Is he in Bangkok?" "They're crazy over there." "No, he..." "What if he's not coming?" "Then we have a huge problem." "Glenn." "Glenn!" "What is it now?" "Stormare's not at the airport." "Are you kidding?" "Not now!" "Wait!" "The investors are waiting." "I know, but he's not here." "Hey!" "Find your costume." "You're stepping in for Stormare." "Where's your costume?" "I don't know." "You mean now?" "Where's your mask?" "I don't know." "I'll get the investors." "Here!" "Put that on!" "OK." "The investors are outside." "Say a few words in Swedish." "Just... something!" "Something." "Actor's stuff." "Voice rehearsal." "Hi, I'm Stormare..." "Stormare's in costume..." "Can we see him?" "Here are the investors." "Do you have any questions?" "How was it to work with Tom Cruise?" "Who?" "I'm sure he found that..." "A bit gay." "Quite demanding." "Where in Sweden do you come from?" "Southern Northern Sweden." "Linda!" "I need to show you." "Go change!" "I want to show you the dragon, it's scary." "The PA went into the dragon without warning." "Didn't go well." "Don't look at the face, just the behind." "Can I see?" "Lennart, what the fuck is that?" "You haven't done shit!" "Is this the dragon?" "What's happening?" "Are you stuck?" "A little." "I'll grab his legs." "You squeeze his head." "This is the dragon, version 2.0." "It isn't!" "Trying to be funny?" "It will get a new dress costume." "Let's go back now." "What's happening?" "What is it with you?" "We need to shoot now." "Are you ready?" "Is that the dragon?" "That's the dragon." "Okay, we're good to go!" "Hi!" "Parked the chopper behind there." "Hope it's OK?" "No problem!" "Didn't find him." "What?" "Didn't find Stormare." "He's here." "You're coming with me." "To the kingdom of darkness." "Never!" "I will eat all of you." "No!" "Esmerelda!" "What do you represent?" "The good!" "I am the King Of Darkness!" "A kiss will empower you." "What are you doing?" "I'm kissing him." "No." "Yes." "Your kisses weaken my darkness." "Super-spit!" "Super-spit back at ya!" "I'm dead." "The first one killed me." "Cut!" "It's a wrap?" "Yes." "It is?" "OK, folks, it's a wrap!" "Have you been on a blog before?" "Yes." "No, he hasn't." "Comes from France." "Yes." "From Jean-Luc Godard." "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" "What?" "Poirot." "The French Derrick." "Same as Derrick, only in French." "Look at the camera, and smile." "Do you have the roofies?" "Good." "Put them in her drink." "Sack over the head, pull her out into the trunk, and then... we drive home." "Look at each other." "We're running a blog here." "A cool blog." "Look at each other." "Whatever you heard, it was nothing." "If anyone..." "Forget about it." "It'll be OK." "Relax!" "What do you mean, "relax"?" "...this parking space, and you'll be there, and then..." "Ooh!" "I love that fountain!" "Glenn!" "You do?" "Yes!" "That's great, 'cause we're going into it." "No!" "Is it true?" "Yes!" "Now!" "Is it true?" "Yes." "No, you're kidding!" "Why not?" "Let's just do it." "There's no coffee, and you were last." "Pass the bread." "Hi!" "Hi." "Good morning." "Morning." "Want any...eggs and bacon?" "Yes." "Can't eat Nugatti and Banos, you know that." "How are you?" "Thanks for keeping us awake all night." "Yes." "I apologize." "It's OK." "You're all smiles." "Yes." "Thought you'd be cranky after being tricked like that." "Did you get cross when Glenn told you?" "What?" "About the audition and" "Great, eggs and bacon." "It was just a..." "Now I'm..." "Now I'm... it's just..." "Sorry, what?" "I can't remember." "You didn't forget..." "We only had the audition so Glenn could find a girl, and not make a movie, then Linda's mother gave us 2 million dollars that we spent." "We had to find new investors." "They were a bit creepy, by the way." "Sorry, what are you saying?" "Nothing." "Don't listen to him." "Glenn!" "What...?" "Is this true?" "OK, it started as a silly thing." "I didn't know anything." "Then you came to the audition." "Linda, and we're having..." "Please listen." "You should be ashamed." "I am ashamed, the whole apartment is full of shame." "Do you think this is funny?" "Glenn?" "Is this fun?" "That was stupid." "I thought you'd spoken together." "Why the hell did you open your mouth?" "What's wrong with you?" "Why must things happen on your terms?" "Come on!" "Always!" "It wasn't on purpose." "You don't think about anyone else." "You're the world's biggest ego." "You're a fucking asshole." "Who lets you stay here." "Who fixes a movie for you." "And tries to get you a girl." "Is that the asshole you mean?" "The asshole who created more problems" "Which problems?" "'Cause you want to control people all the time." "You don't care about people." "You just push on." "Never had a girlfriend." "What's wrong with you?" "So shut up." "I don't want any more advice from you." "If I hadn't, nothing would have happened." "You don't open your mouth." "So afraid, you say nothing." "This is the first time you raise your voice." "Congrats." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "And you?" "What's your problem?" "How stupid can you get?" "You are fucking stupid." "You've fucked it all up." "We have the movie." "I don't care about the movie." "It's some shit you got going, and we have to fix it." "There won't be a movie." "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you." "Fuck you." "Isn't that an abundance of fucks?" "We're only three." "That fucking Wilhelm." "Why so grumpy?" "He got laid." "POST-PRODUCTION" "Linda found out all." "So she didn't want to speak to me." "I told Philip to go to hell." "I locked myself in Kim's room." "He had to sleep on the couch." "Hi Linda, it's Glenn." "Pick up the phone." "Or return my call, so" "I can explain what happened." "Glenn!" "Open!" "Kim needs to change." "Hi Linda, it's Glenn." "Would be nice if you could" "CUT THAT OUT!" "Sorry." "It was..." "Why are you here?" "Can I talk to her just a little?" "No." "Is he still crying?" "Glenn!" "We have drugs." "Are you crying?" "Stop crying!" "Go away!" "You can't get in." "To get in, you'll have to use an axe." "You don't want that." "You can't break these locks." "I just need to tell her I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to..." "You've hurt her." "Did you and Philip set us up to trick us?" "What are you doing?" "Beat it." "Huh?" "I need to go because he cries?" "Beat it now." "He's cried since I met him." "Glenn!" "Hi Linda, it's Glenn." "It's..." "I'm sorry... about calling you so much, but..." "I need to talk to you." "We worry about you." "Open!" "Fuck it!" "I'm quite irritated now." "Hi." "Just relaxing, really." "Doesn't she like me at all?" "Hi." "We had no money to finish the movie, and then... suddenly debt-collectors wanted the money we didn't have...and..." "Yep." "You need any more shit?" "No, this is great." "Linda!" "OK, I...think we're in the same boat now." "I know you wanted the best for her." "Is she talking to you at all?" "No." "No, me neither." "And I... know it turned all retarded and we fucked up." "Sorry." "But..." "This is more important than anything else to me." "And maybe to you too." "That's very bombastic." "So..." "Can you help us?" "I think I have a plan." "We saw what happened last time." "You wanna make a movie or not?" "Yes, we'll make a movie." "OK." "I'll whisper the plan, you smile, we high-five and freeze the picture." "OK?" "OK." "Hello." "Hi." "Hello." "We have a lot to do." "We talked about a plan to finish the movie." "OK, cool." "I have a better plan." "If we pull it off, Linda will..." "she has to forgive me." "And it'll all be OK." "We have two weeks now." "We must finish the movie." "I talked to Vendela." "She's pulled some strings, and got our movie to open Haugesund, the biggest film festival." "Haugesund film festival, what is that?" "The best you can get in Norwegian film." "That's pretty lame." "We need to finish the editing, and get the sound right." "And make the poster and do the music, and get all the marketing in place." "We can pay off the debt-collector." "You meet them, they'll recognize you." "Do that." "Who should we invite?" "Everyone who participated." "Linda Holm there." ""The day has come, hope you'll come, you're the reason it's so good."" "That's great." "We got two weeks, we'll fix that?" "Yes, of course." "What's the relationship between the director and the producer?" "Are they...?" "The only... way to break the curse, is a is a somewhat awkward, but nice hug." "It's a strange sound upfront." "Check the wheel." "To fix this fender?" "6000 dollars to fix it." "You crashed it." "No, no no!" "No, no, no!" "It's stopping, it's stopping." "No!" "Open the hood." "Philip!" "Your fault." "Great, Kim." "Hope your happy." "So how do we get there?" "Hitch, perhaps?" "Car coming!" "How much is a taxi?" "We have no money." "Can't take a taxi for hours." "Can you make it work?" "You know engines?" "He knows how to ruin one." "Car coming!" "Isn't that...?" "Jesper and Lasse." "Hi." "Hi." "Where are you going?" "And you?" "Haugesund film festival." "So are we." "To Haugesund?" "Yes." "Got room for 4?" "Oh yeah." "Get the luggage, guys." "The trunk is full." "There is no space." "Shit, Lasse." "Don't mind her." "She's OK with it." "Who is it?" "We didn't know she was there." "You didn't know?" "No." "A hooded, tied-up girl in the trunk?" "She put it on herself." "How long is the drive?" "If she's tied up in the woods, she could die." "If she was able to put it on, she can take it off." "Can we stop and do this?" "No, don't stop now." "No, no!" "Kim!" "Lots of girls at film festivals?" "Yes, loads." "They put lots of drinks on the table?" "I need something sweet." "Found some blue Skittles." "Why only the blue?" "The yellow are best." "Herring, film and pre-teens giving up their virginity for phone cards." "Phone cards?" "Where do you get those?" "Hi!" "Hi, hi!" "Look here!" "Just for us!" "This is crazy." "It's opening night." "Hurry inside." "Have you seen her?" "No." "I don't know if she's here." "Got your speech?" "No, fuck." "It's in the car." "I'll get it." "I'll go get it." "Hi, Glenn." "Hi." "How are you?" "Yes, fine." "Nervous?" "Yes, I am." "Can't get way from this." "Not now." "You can't fuck with people's emotions." "Make a movie to get a girl, it's sick." "Know what's sick?" "You, screwing around, lying to all." "You went to the press!" "I didn't do that." "You could have ruined Linda's career." "You know nothing about career." "You're no film-maker, in that video kiosk." "How many movies have you made?" "Made?" "I'm an actor." "Exactly." "I've made twice as many as you." "Think you can come here and fuck with me?" "Sleeper-hold!" "Just let it happen." "Wrestling." "Submission." "Is he sleeping?" "I think so." "Are you sleeping?" "Get him off." "Get him off." "Yeah?" "So what...happens?" "Some popcorn." "Want some?" "Take it." "Sure?" "Got the speech?" "We need to go in." "Let me see." "How's the tie?" "I am..." "I'm very sorry about a lot that's happened, but..." "I don't really care about what all of you think of this movie," "'cause I've only made it for one person." "And I hope that you're here now." "The only thing I wanted was that Linda be here now." "How did that go?" "She's not here, so that went to hell." "Are we done?" "I'm done, anyway." "Hi." "Just, just... sit." "I just want you to know" "What you did to me, that... well, that was... wasn't good." "I know." "I trusted in you." "I know you can't forgive" "But I can't stop thinking about you." "I think about you all the time, and I wonder what you do all the time, and I" "I dream of you at night, and I don't know, but either I'm turning into an idiot," "or I'm very much in love with you." "For real." "I heard your speech." "You did?" "Was it silly?" "A bit silly, but quite nice, too." "I worked a lot on it." "I was up many nights in a row to write on it." "Did you hear the stammer that went through the whole speech?" "Oh, yes!" "That was planned very carefully." "I can imagine." "Kinda awkward people, isn't that... a little charming, at least that's what I heard." "Yes." "Did you see the movie?" "Yes." "I did." "What do you think?" "It was totally..." "Totally shit." "But... at the same time fantastic." "That's what I often... aim for, to make things shitty and fantastic at the same time." "Well, you succeeded." "Thank you." "I have to go." "But..." "I'm so proud of you, my girl." "Congratulations!" "It was so great, I'm so proud." "Beautiful." "You owned the scenes." "Everyone's talking about you." "You don't regret me pulling some strings, do you?" "You're happy that I" "Mum!" "Yes, my girl, I can see" "Mum!" "Don't look so stern" "Mum!" "It's enough!" "Stop!" "That's a great temper." "Beautiful, you didn't see it, but you were fantastic." "Use it!" "Bravo!" "To think you made that!" "But the music." "You should be a composer of film music." "Great, great music." "I'll admit I was..." "I love you, man." "Hi, Philip." "I love you, too." "You're not afraid of being infected..." "the gay infection." "Isabell!" "You OK?" "Been looking for you everywhere." "You weren't at the screening." "Come on over." "It's a huge party." "Take pictures..." "You don't want someone like me." "You know what I do to girls who don't attend my screening?" "Fuck them real hard?" "You are drunk." "Yes." "Good, cause this will hurt." "I thought it was very, very good." "Not two verys." "Very good." "Maybe." "Not enough stunts, I think." "The existing ones were good." "They were very good." "Not very, very good?" "The worst I've seen on a Norwegian screen." "Peter Stormare up there..." "Peter Stormare!" "He's on the poster." "He was there for one day." "How many days was I there?" "Lots of days." "Very, very many days." "Don't believe in the actors." "That actress is ugly." "What inspired the costume in the last scene?" "I've had lots of feedback, people think it's very bold," "I'm glad I resisted when people offered me safer choices." "The movie lacks a middle part." "It has a beginning and an ending, that's it." "They've probably edited out the substance." "That American from Sweden, I don't get him at all." "The dragon is so shitty, and they're consistent" "They've fucked that job in the ass with a very small dick." "I have to go." "I was the conjurer, if you call it that." "I call it creating drama." "So you went to the media?" "Of course." "You were just incredible in the movie." "Thank you." "Incredibly hot in that..." "Seems like the people who made it have no brains." "Seems like they..." "Like they should be in an institution." "Which I think they are." "So I don't recommend this movie...to anyone." "Assholes."