"Public Toilet Time, Public Toilet Time." "Hello, my dear friends, Happy New Year." "This is the International Red Star radio station." "Being the only radio station about toilet literature on earth, we've received so much support and encouragement from you since our opening day." "My name is Gui Gui, host of this program." "At this great New Year's day, 1999, on behalf of our entire crew," "I'd like to wish you smooth defecation and a long flowing piss in the New Year." "The following is a personal ad... for someone seeking a lavatory partner:" "XX Wang, 31 years old, very strong, yet gentle, very well-hung, is seeking a young, good looking male partner taller than 180 cm" "Foreigners preferred." "Please call: 8610-65313789 ext. 66333" "OK, this one's fine," "but it's European size which is bigger than normal." "Please feel free to look around." " How much is this?" " 300 yuan." " Is it for export?" " Yeah." "They all are for export." "How about 150 yuan?" "150?" "Too cheap." "This one's OK." "I'll check somewhere else." "Is this pure wool?" "Come back any time." " Is this pure wool?" " Oh, yeah." " How much is this?" " 230 yuan." "230 yuan?" "It fits you well." "The color looks good." "How much is this, your lowest price?" "230 yuan is already very low." "How about 190?" "Xiao Li, does it look good on me?" " Pretty good." " Then I'll take it." "Please feel free to look around." "Madam, is Mr. Li in?" "Mr. Li?" "There's no Mr. Li here." "He is the man who owns this store." "The man who owns this store." "There's no such person here." "200's my best offer." "What do you think?" " Is this pure wool?" " Yes, it is." "Well, please wrap it up for me then." "You can look for something else." "It's impossible." "Someone at my village told me he should be here." "It should be here" "We are only workers, and don't have much money." "No way, look at your fashionable clothes." "It's cheap, only 400 yuan for this one." "Can't go any lower." "I'll keep looking around then." "Madam, may I use the phone?" "Sure, go ahead." " Wrap it up please." " So, you want this one." "Why not find something else?" "Please page: paging 8870, last name Yu, 64244230." "They're all OK." "That one's alright, but too expensive." "I suggest you buy it." "You won't find it this cheap anywhere else" " Too expensive." " No, it's only 400 yuan." "How about 190?" "It's all I've got." "200, 200 yuan." "Can't you cut the price a little more?" "Take a look at the pants." " I've only got 180 yuan." " 180, OK?" "We're going to come back often." "You're getting a real bargain." "I'm losing my money this time." " Come back again." " OK." "Bye." " Hasn't he called back?" " No." "What do you want this Mr. Li for?" "A friend introduced me to work for him." " You're looking for a job?" " Yes." "You can work for me here then." " You think I'm qualified?" " Why not?" "Try it first to see if you like it." "OK." "How do you sell these clothes?" "I'll show you later." "First tidy up those pants." "Xiao Bo, Xiao Bo, come over." "Hey, Xiao Bo, let me handle it." "I'll do it, I'll do it." "If you don't need me, I've got to go to work." "Bye" "Bye." " Xiao Bo, change your shoes." " Oh, I'll do it." "Towel, towel..." "Xiao Bo, use this towel." "I'll hang it here for you." "Here's some shampoo." "Use this oil after your shower." "Turn on the water like this." "Turn it off when you're done." " Afterwards you can put this on." " Oh." "See if the water's OK." "If not, you can adjust it." "Check if the water's OK." "Xiao Bo, is the water OK?" "Not too cold?" "It's fine." "Dinner's ready." " Let's start" " Would you like something to drink?" "Want some?" "Either way I'm OK." " Have some beer." " Alright." "I'll go get a glass for you." " Here you are." " Thank you!" "Want some?" "Thank you, Mr. Kang." " Help yourself." " Okay." " You like spicy food?" " It's fine." "The food is good." "Have some more." "Hey Xiao Bo, do you have a girlfriend?" "I'm still young." "Let your new boss introduce one to you someday." "The pork's not too salty?" "Have some more." "I'll get you more rice." " I'll help myself." " Let me." "Get me another bowl too." "Eat!" "Ah." "Thank you!" "Eat it up, it'll get cold" " Mrs. Qing, let me do it." " I'll do it." " Pass me your bag" " Okay." "and I'll get your stuff organized." "Is the quilt OK?" "It shouldn't be any thicker." "Because the heating is good here, you may want to kick if off at night." "I'm fine here, Mrs. Qing." "Sure, I'm boiling some water." "Put your bag here, and let's see how to arrange your things." "The room is a little too small." "I think it would be OK for Xiao Bo to live in the store." "It's hard to find a good boy like Xiao Bo." " I'm turning off the light." " Wait a minute." "Don't bother me, OK?" " Ah, I scored!" " It didn't go in." "Mrs. Qing, someone's playing football." "Good kick" "Nice" "Come on" "Well done!" " Here you are." " Thanks." "Come back." "Anytime." "Hello, Mr. Kang, Mrs. Qing's not here." "She went to Da Yang's to chase down a debt." "Oh." "Hey, what's the matter?" "Why are you crying?" "What's the matter?" "What's wrong?" "Come on, have some water." "Have some water." "What's going on?" "You've got to speak to me." "Who bullied you?" "Tell me!" "Who's giving you trouble?" "Tell me who's hurting you!" "Da Yang is trying to get away without paying the money." "It's that bastard again." "Let's find him and square this account." "Come on, let's go get him!" "Go!" "Xiao Bo, come with me!" "Sorry, we're closing" "What's going on?" "Get into the car first." " Who is it?" " Is Da Yang there?" " Speak, who is it?" " Da Yang" " Who?" " Da Yang" "Fuck you, fuck you!" "Oh this hurts" "Fuck you!" "You fucking pull that shit on my wife?" "Cheating women!" "Who the fuck do you think you are?" "!" "?" "I'll give you the money, OK?" "I'll give you money!" "Give it to me!" "Give me the money!" "Hurry up!" " I haven't counted it yet." " Give it!" " I've already given you the money" " Give it!" " I haven't counted it" " No need to count" "If you move, I'll beat you up" "Let's go." "Don't move" "Let's go" "Xiao Bo, I'll introduce you to a friend of mine tonight." "Who is it?" "Don't ask." "Mrs. Qing, because it's not very busy here," "I want to find more work to fill out my schedule." "Sure." " That day I found you in the store..." " Boxing." "Who taught you that?" "I studied it when I was little." "That's interesting." "Mrs. Qing, I'm coming." "You're late you know." "Sorry, I was stuck in traffic for half an hour." "Do you like my hair?" "What a shame you cut it." "You don't like it?" "Why didn't you tell me you were planning to cut it!" "Just tell me if it looks nice!" "Very nice, very nice." "Why don't you cut yours too?" "No, it wouldn't look good on me." "Will you do it?" "Hey!" "What're you doing, a wig!" " I bet you didn't recognize it" " No I didn't" " Why don't you try it" " No, I don't like it" "Xiao Bo, my little brother." "Ah Meng, my little sister." "Hello" "How are you" "Looks good" "Let's go to Tianjin in a couple of days and enjoy ourselves." "Sure, I'd love to go." "Good, I'll be free in two days, and can go with you." "Really!" "I've already ordered, all your favorites." "Thanks!" "Try it on later, it will look good on you." "I don't like wigs" "Doesn't it press down on your hair?" "I would never have guessed it was a wig" "I bought it this morning." "It's just for fun" " It's quite good, isn't it?" " Yes." "Let's eat" "Get another pair of chopsticks." "I'll give you mine for now" "You go ahead" "Please start." "Are you hungry?" "I still think long hair suits you." "It's okay, it's pretty" "Eat, Xiao Bo!" "Mrs. Qing, I've got to go back now." " You want to go back?" " Yes." "Alright then, you can go." " Bye." " Bye." "What do you think of Xiao Bo?" "He is fine, pretty nice." "Do you like him?" "We only met once." "You know," "I'm just not the sensitive type." "You guys can keep going out." "Let's go." "Mr. Kang." "You're back, where've you been?" "Mrs. Qing introduced a girl to me." "Really?" "How did it go?" "I just met her tonight, it's hard to say." "Don't worry, take your time." "Is she good looking?" "Not bad." "What does she do?" "I didn't ask." "If you've got a little time, let's go shoot some pool." " Sure." " I'll turn off the TV, then." " Got it." " It's in." "You're cleaning up." "You've won every game tonight." "Let's go for one more." "We'd better go now, otherwise Mrs. Qing will get angry." "No problem." "You shoot a mean game of pool." "Oh, I was just lucky." "I've gotta stop by the toilet." "Wait, I'll go too." "I should've shot high on the ninth ball." "Yeah." "Actually, shooting low would've been a little better." "We'll do it again sometime." "Hey, look, the river hasn't frozen yet." "Are there any fish in it?" "Hey, Xiao Bo..." "Why did you wait so late to have your teeth straightened?" "A friend of mine told me to do it." "Does it hurt?" "It must be very painful." "Hmm, not really." "I have a friend who is a dentist." "How about I take you to see her?" "She's got some kind of porcelain braces which I think look very good." "Lots of kids are using them." "It's too much trouble." "No trouble" "That's right" "Which female star do you like?" "No one." "You don't even like Gong Li?" "Not really." "Gong Li's the most beautiful woman in Asia." "Hey," "let's go to a movie..." "The chili's too hot." "I've got a feeling something isn't right." "What's wrong?" "Thank you." "What's wrong?" "I realize that Xiao Bo doesn't like me at all." "He doesn't like you?" "Impossible." "I don't think he has any interest in me whatsoever." "And, to be honest," "I don't think he even likes girls." "He doesn't like girls?" "I also think it's strange, but I just feel a little awkward with him." "I've never suspected he doesn't like girls." "You haven't?" "It can't be true." "He must like girls." "Where did you get this feeling?" "It's hard to explain, but I can just feel it from him." "Doesn't like girls, very strange." "It is." "Tell me how could he be like this." "Feel free to look around." "Miss, how much is this?" "198 yuan, 20% off." "Alright." " What do you think about it?" " It's OK." "Mrs. Qing, is it OK to put these here" "Yes." "What do we do about Xiao Bo?" "What do you mean?" "He doesn't like girls," "even a lovely girl like Meng." "It's going to be very tough for him being like this." "Don't be silly, go to sleep." "It's going to be real tough." "Stop it, go to sleep." "This is my card." "What's this?" "I am the editor in chief of Brilliant WC." "What's that?" "I am the editor in chief of the magazine." "Thanks." "Chong Chong, the senior writer of Brilliant WC." "Brilliant WC?" "Is it really called like this?" "Editor in chief?" "Interesting." "A thief, holding two balls, looks around a vast grassland..." "Hello, good, good, good," "I'll call you back later." "Just had your hair slicked?" "Yeah, yesterday." "It costed 150 yuan." "So expensive." "What are you going to do for the Chinese New Year?" "Beijing's no fun." "Let's go somewhere else." "Where?" "Take a trip just like foreigners." "Let's go on a trip" "Travelling's OK but..." "Like Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, or Europe?" "Europe would be good," "Malaysia, Thailand and Singapore are not interesting though." "Let's go to..." "Let's go to Vietnam," "Egypt, or Nepal." "What do you think?" "Great." "Then that's it." "We'd better choose a place first." "It's a deal then." "We'll go together." "I promise, okay." "Your little finger?" "What little finger?" "I'm not making deals" "Hello, you're Gui Gui, right?" "Wow!" "Is that really you?" "I'm a big fan of yours and love your program so much!" "Your program has really enriched all our lives with color and hope." "But I have a suggestion." "Yes, yes, your suggestion is pretty good." "Right, right." "We definitely need improvement, making our programs better by giving you more spiritual food, right?" "What?" "My voice is sweet?" "Of course." "My looks are even sweeter." "You want a date?" "There will be many opportunities." "Alright." "Sorry, let's talk later, there's a call coming in." "Thanks, thanks for your support." "Bye." " Hey, you're here!" " How are you?" " Anything else?" " This is fine." "Miss?" "A coke please." "Thanks." "Our first edition of Brilliant WC has been published." "Your front page design looks great." "This publication is the only one in China." "You're flattering me." "It's very fashionable." "Hey, here's your article," ""Sixteen year old creamy body, the true seduction. "" "Really?" "My articles?" "Let me see." "Wow!" "It's really here." "Pretty good, isn't it?" "It's got my name on it." "Of course." "Wow, you've got toilet cartoons here." "Don't they look good?" "Very interesting." "Oh, this is the toilet literature I've found for you." "Two pieces, one for 50 yuan, two for 100." "But, two are not enough." "You're too picky." "You know that girls are more reserved than guys." "You'd rarely see girls in a public toilet drawing graffiti." "Look at these two, you know they were very hard to come by." "I am serious!" "Wow!" "There are so many categories!" "Yeah, all these were written by a woman?" "Yeah, you have to identify them." "I think some guy probably ran into the girls' toilet and wrote it." "The first one is saying little Li is a small demon." "It doesn't look like a woman's handwriting." "The second one is saying God has made a celestial's cave, but the infinite scene is a perilous peak." "They've got to be written by men." "It's hard to tell, but they can all be used anyway." "Really?" "Your magazine is very good." "I see there are also public toilet sayings and fables." "I'll write more stuff for you later," "I appreciate your effort." "I love doing it." "Not just graffiti" "If you and your girlfriends have anything to say about toilets," "please contribute it to our magazine." "Actually," "I do have some friends who can help you out." "Mrs. Qing." "I'm done, it's your turn." "Xiao Bo, this is your salary for this month," "I'll put it on your bed." "OK." "Did you call the doctor yesterday?" "Yes." "Don't forget to go to the dentist and get your cap fixed." "OK." "Mrs. Qing, aren't we expecting any more goods today?" "Why?" "We don't even have time to get rid of our current stock." "Come back to the store after seeing the dentist." "OK." "I'm leaving" "How many have you done?" "23, 24, twenty four..." "I'm too hot." "I'm so weak, I've only done 51." "What are you doing?" "Mr Kang, what are you doing?" "Mr. Kang!" "Stop it!" "Who the fuck do you think you are?" "A rabbit, a glass boy with a cock and a cunt." "You didn't think I knew it, right?" "I'm telling you," "I just want to try something new." "I don't give a shit about you," "I don't even fucking want you for free." "You stink, looking like a man." "Who knows what prick you've got hiding in your ass!" "If I were you I'd rather fucking die!" "You think you're such hot stuff" "You're a disgrace to men!" "You say that again, I'll kill you!" "Wait!" "Give me back the coat my wife gave you." "Get out!" "Fuck... fuck." "Goodbye" " Come in, Xiao Bo." " Mrs. Qing, I want to leave." " What's the problem?" " Nothing, I just want to go." " Anything happened at your home?" " Yeah." "Mrs. Qing, what's the lowest price for this one?" "No less than 120." " You'd better go get the train ticket now" " Sure" " They'll be sold out if you are late." " Yeah." " Why don't you put any clothes on?" ".." "Here." " No." "Put some clothes on." "Hurry up, do it!" "Put this jacket on" "Why aren't you putting them on?" "Hurry up and buy the ticket." " Take this money with you." " I don't need it." "It's urgent." "Hurry up!" "Mrs. Qing, I'm going." "Xiao Bo, don't buy it from the people in the street." "They sell fake tickets all the time." "Remember." " Give me a call when you get home." " I will." "Hey, Mr. Chong, it's me, Xiao Bo." "I've quit my job, and I need to stay at your place." "OK, thanks, Mr. Chong, I'll be there soon." "Bye." "Take this money" " Coming." "Who is it?" " It's me." "You really quit, didn't you?" "I heard your "sister" treated you pretty well." "She treated me very nice" "It's true, but I had some other trouble." " What other trouble?" " Forget about it." "If you want to quit, just quit." "The folding bed is still there." " You can sleep in the living room." " OK." "Have a seat." "I've got to finish this up." "OK." "We'll go to dinner together later." "There's water there, help yourself" "I know" "Sure, Mr. Chong, I'll get you a glass of water." "I'll do it." " Chong Chong, who's this?" " A friend of mine." "Cool." "I've met you before." "Is there anyone you haven't met?" "How come you live here?" "Oh, he's been living here for over a month." "Xiao Bo, he's a good friend of mine, Gui Gui." "Have a seat Gui Gui." "Have a drink." "What could happen with Xiao Bo's family?" "He didn't even put a coat on when he left!" "How would I know?" "He's your "little brother"." "Is there anything you can tell me?" "I've got something to tell you." "Our stock is almost sold out." "I suppose I could close the store tomorrow." "Why so quick?" " Xiao Bo." " Yeah." " Are you up?" " Yeah, I'm up." "Xiao Bo, be careful on your trip." "Yeah." "I'm telling you take this bus." "Adjust your collar." " Remember to change to No. 302, and you'll get there." " Yeah." " Let's check the fabric store." " OK." "What's wrong?" "Nothing" " Mr. Chong." " Hey you're back." "What have you got?" "Public toilet fables." " How many?" " I've given out 13 copies." " Good, good." "It's pretty cold..." " Yeah." " How's our distribution going?" " Thirteen copies." "That's not enough." "Some bar owners didn't want them." "They said they are kind of..." "Vulgar." "Is that what they meant?" "Come here and have some water." "Have some water." " Wow, your hands are cold." " Yeah." "Hi, Chong Chong." "I'm waiting for you." "I don't want to cook tonight." "What do you want to have?" "It's up to you." "You tell me." "What do you want to eat?" "McDonald's." "McDonald's." "Well." "Let it be McDonald's then." "He must have got a bonus taking us to McDonald's." "Yeah, I got a bonus." "Ah." "Let's go." "Just a second." "I want some water." "I have to wash my hands too, because I've been so busy in the kitchen." "Good." "First, dance like this." "This leg first." "Remember, lift the tip of your foot a little." "And don't forget, move to the centre first." "OK." "Let's start." "1,2,3. 2,2,3. 3,2,3." "Relax." "4,2,3." "You're too sluggish." "What are you doing?" "So romantic!" "There's so much damn work to do." "Aren't you still the chief editor?" "Get to work, get to work!" "Move the table over here." "The magazine." "The only thing you care about is dancing." "I have something to tell you." "What?" "I want to move out." "What do you mean?" "Nothing." "I mean I won't live here anymore." "The apartment's yours." "You want a divorce?" "It's up to you." "Why?" "Because someone else likes me." " Are you having an affair?" " Yes." "For how long?" "Not too long." "Who is it?" "Don't ask." "You're not walking out this door until you tell me." " Don't be surprised if I tell you." " I won't." "It's Meng." "Who?" "A-Meng?" "Meng, it's me." "It's all settled here." "Come and pick me up." "If Xiao Bo calls, tell him to page me or call my mobile." "Please wait a little longer." "She'll be right down." "Let me." "OK, we can go." "What's up?" "What's the matter?" "Sorry, I can't start the car." "Can you give me a hand?" "Sure." " Should we push?" " Yeah, push." " Alright?" " Get into the car." "Let's go." "Let's play together" "Sure" "We'll play together" "You three form a team and the three of us another team" "Sure" "Let's start" "Come on" "We'll play a 10 point game" "Public Toilet Time." "Public Toilet Time." "Dear friends," "This is the International Red Star radio station." "I'm the host, Gui Gui, saying hello to everybody from the nation's Capital, Beijing." "As the weather is heating up, the political atmosphere is constantly changing." "Dangerous elements keep surfacing." "Inflation is getting worse and worse." "All our crew members have incurable diseases." "And we are dying." "So, on behalf of all of them, with tears in my eyes, I would like to say goodbye to you all." "We have created a special program for you." "First, we'll turn to the news." "Then, we will broadcast a radio play," ""Naked Politics", written by our famous toilet writer, Chong Chong." "Next, I would like to tell you a fable about public toilets." "One day, the Emperor was chairing a meeting." "Suddenly, he had a pain in his stomach, and desperately needed to piss." "After the emperor left the public toilet, two blind men started arguing." "Then, one of them touched the front of the emperor said:" ""The emperor is nothing but a mass of soft meat. "" "Then, the other one touched the emperor's back and said:" ""No, the power of the emperor comes from a hole. "" "Next, I will broadcast a public toilet riddle." "Beans are boiled by burning bean stalks." "They cry in the stomach." "If they come from the same plant, why are the ones burning the others?" "The answer is an activity in a public toilet." "Dear friends, each one of us can only live one life, but love exists in many ways." "Public toilet life is so wonderful, but love can end in a tragedy." "In order to find love, as the host of Public Toilet Time," "I'd like to say goodbye to everybody, and am going to Uranus to experience a new kind of public toilet life." "Someday, you will hear from me in Uranus with a brand new program." "I wish all of you good health, and a great future, in a conjugal bliss in a toilet, until a ripe old age."