"NARRA TOR:" "Previously on Nip / Tuck..." "Mr. McNamara?" "I'm Colleen Rose of the Colleen Rose Agency." "You have a very naturalistic process." "Let me ask you something." "What do you think of these?" "Colleen, this is inappropriate." "Hey, asshole." "Sean called." "He offered me the job of receptionist." "I don't want you near my work ever again." "I know you want it, Christian." "(GASPS) This is love." "gina: (GASPS) This is love." "Have you decided what you're gonna do with Gina's body?" "Why do you keep asking me that?" "I'm not her next of kin." "Are you joining me for our 10:00..." "I just need to get my shit together." "Okay?" "Just give me a sec." "Just..." "So, tell me what you don't like about yourself." "Sorry, I'm not sure which one of you is here for the consult." "KYLE:" "That would be me." "We just got back from our honeymoon, and well, it didn't go quite as we had planned." "Oh, I bet it happens all the time." "I mean, the pressure alone is enough to kill your libido." "That's not exactly what I meant." "We were going up to the mountains, the Oregon Coast Range, for some skiing." "And it started snowing hard." "It was impossible to see anything, and I took a wrong turn, went down a ravine, 20 feet." "Our car was on its side, completely buried in snow." "We were trapped inside for 10 days." "But you survived, which is a miracle." "I mean, if your marriage can survive that, it's a pretty good sign." "And you're here because..." "Well, I don't remember much." "I must've been knocked unconscious or something." "I just remember waking up with this incredible pain, and these huge gouges taken out of my arm." "The trim from the dash cut right through it." "Well, the tendons are okay." "Muscles undamaged." "You're lucky." "christian:" "The cut's pretty..." "The trim from the dashboard did this?" "Tell them the truth, Kyle." "Honey." "I have to tell him, tell somebody what you did." "The guilt is..." "I can't take it anymore." "Uh." "We had no food, no water." "I'm severely hypoglycemic." "We tried text messaging till the cell battery ran out, but no help came." "After a week, she started to complain of headaches and dizziness, and eventually she started to lose motor control." "I started hearing noises, and my eyes wouldn't focus." "I could only see these spots." "I thought she was gonna die." "I thought we both were gonna die." "He saved me." "He gouged out small pieces of his flesh, warmed them with the car lighter and fed them to me." "I was like a..." "Like a cannibal eating my own husband to survive." "Oh, what kind of person am I?" "Oh, God, I think I'm gonna be sick." "(RETCHlNG)" "She couldn't have lasted without something to eat, and I didn't want to lose her." "I did not know what else to do." "lily:" "You must think I'm a monster." "But you have no idea what you would do to survive, until it happens to you." "Please." "Please, fix my husband." "(l EA T CANNlBALS playing)" "SEAN:" "I still can't believe Gina killed herself." "Seemed like she was doing so well." "linda:" "Well, it happens to a lot of suicidal personalities." "Things get good." "The bad feelings don't go away, all hope is lost and then splat." "How is Wilber handling this?" "Fine." "He took it hard at first, but kid's a survivor." "I owe Gina for Wilber, but besides that, she was nothing but a chronic hemorrhoid." "Every time I thought she was gone, she'd flare up again and be a pain in my ass." "Here, hand them over." "Why?" "What're you doing?" "I'll close." "It's almost noon." "Why don't you go pick Wilber up from school?" "Your son needs you right now more than I do." "(kids chattering)" "Can I help you?" "He's my son." "Wilber." "I'm Dr. Troy." "Oh." "So the principal called you already?" "About what?" "Well, there was an incident today with your son." "He bit another student." "Yeah, during stretch and grow." "I guess Owen got too close to Wilber's mat." "Jesus." "Is the other boy okay?" "Well, you know, at this age, they forget all about it 20 minutes later." "We have a bigger problem though." "Uh..." "School policy requires that Wilber be expelled." "Yeah, it's in the enrollment contract that you signed." "Personal conduct." "You can speak to the principal, but..." "Is he aware that Wilber's mother died a few days ago?" "Oh, my God!" "I had no idea." "What happened?" "She jumped off the balcony." "Suicide." "Oh, well..." "How is he handling his mother's death?" "He doesn't know." "You haven't told him?" "No." "Well, no wonder he's acting out." "He's probably so confused by her sudden absence in his life." "Scared." "You need to tell him what happened." "He's too young to understand." "Well, he might not have the verbal skills, but he can certainly sense such a big change." "Look, I'll talk to the principal." "I'm sure the school will make an exception, given the circumstances." "But you need to tell Wilber that his mother is gone." "For everyone's safety." "Come on, do it for me." "Come on, you can do it." "Colleen." "This is awkward." "I've heard about it, and I want to hear it." "I mean, I think I deserve the full McNamara charm." "Okay." "Tell me what you don't like about yourself." "(LAUGHS)" "So good." "The old hammer toe." "Which I got from pounding the pavement on yours and my other clients' behalf." "(exclaims)" "Hold still, please." "I see there are several toes that are quite rigid." "And some calluses, and..." "Yeah, okay." "Now, check those out." "It's gonna be a great awards season for Hearts 'N Scalpels, and I refuse to walk down the red carpet in a pair of goddamn Easy Spirits." "Now," "I read about this surgery in the new Allure." "It's as hot as your career." "So, you shave the bones, they shorten the toes, they fuse the tendons and they peel the skin." "There's nothing to it, right?" "I do want you to look your best, Colleen." "It's in my best interests that you do." "I do feel, however, that we have a proper and fair financial arrangement, and good professional boundaries which..." "Whoa, hold it right there, cookie." "You think I'm asking for a freebie?" "Never, all right?" "I'm the patient, you're the pro." "Just like you're a client and I'm a pro." "So, let's get this surgery on the book." "Oh, my God, how cute do you look holding those shoes?" "(CAMERA clicks)" "(lMlTATES roaring)" "(lMlTATES biting)" "What you doing, buddy?" "Playing my T-rex." "He bites hard like this." "(imitating roaring)" "Wilber, no." "It's not nice to bite." "We don't do that in this house, okay?" "Or at school." "But I know why you're doing it." "You're upset because your mommy's gone away again." "(sighs)" "Right?" "I miss Mommy." "Okay, here's the deal." "You're my son and I love you, and I'm gonna be honest with you always, okay?" "Mommy's not coming back because Daddy killed her." "(stammering) I don't know what happened." "I..." "Daddy was horny and tired and needed to get his rocks off." "You'll understand what I'm talking about when you're older." "And Mommy offered him cheap sex, and like a fool, Daddy accepted." "Basically," "I screwed her off the balcony and she fell to her death, and I haven't told you or anybody else, because I don't want the police involved." "'Cause then Daddy could go to jail and then I wouldn't be with you, and I'm not gonna let that happen." "Is Mommy a skank?" "Yes, honey, she was." "She was a bad person and a bad mommy, and maybe this is all for the best." "So it's just you and me, like it's meant to be." "(lMlTATES roaring)" "(lMlTATES biting)" "Play with me, Daddy." "I miss Mommy." "She buyed me ice cream." "Is Mommy coming back?" "(GULPS)" "Mommy took a long trip, honey." "You know," "like before." "(SNlFFLES)" "Mommy's not coming back for a long time." "(CHATTERlNG)" "What were you two gabbing about?" "Sorry, Sean." "I should've waited before I sent her into la-la land." "But the woman is a force of nature, and she doesn't know when to stop." "Yeah, I've been there." "She's very excited about what you're doing for her." "This isn't pro bono." "She's paying for it." "No, not this." "About taking her to all the award shows this winter." "Yeah." "Are you really going to the Oscars?" "No, she must've meant one of her other clients." "I don't think so." "It's hammer time." "Hit it." "(THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR walking playing)" "I have Nicole." "Call back." "I'm in the middle of a surgery here." "Hi, Sean." "We're CAA." "Who?" "Creative Artists Agency." "The biggest talent agency in town, Sean." "That's right, and we want to be in the Sean McNamara business." "You could've caused an infection!" "Severely compromised that patient's health!" "We sincerely apologize, Dr. McNamara." "In no way did we intend to put you, or anyone else, in danger." "I have Tom." "Call back." "Cruise?" "Or Hanks." "Look, I appreciate the interest, but I already have representation." "Colleen Rose." "Of the Colleen Rose Agency." "Huh." "I'm not familiar with her." "Have you heard of Colleen Rose?" "No." "No." "Probably one of those new boutiques." "I'm sure she's a terrific agent, though she doesn't have as much in common with you as we do." "You don't even know me." "Well, that's why we're here, to begin that process." "Look, you're a doctor." "We want to help people." "We care about our clients' entire lives, not just their careers." "For example, this is a list of organizations with which we're involved." "Doctors Without Borders." "NRDC, Habitat for Humanity." "This week we're actually taking an afternoon off and building a house in New Orleans to help aid Katrina victims." "Have you helped with the Katrina effort, Sean?" "(FOOTSTEPS approaching)" "Mike, you got that club sandwich?" "I'm frigging famished." "I've been at this one all goddamn morning." "Who are you?" "I'm Dr. Christian Troy." "I arranged for Ms. Russo's interment." "Right." "This one just bought me a flat-screen TV." "Thanks for the gig." "I hear you're the best." "And I hear you're a plastic surgeon, which is fantastic." "I'm a goddamn Picasso with the putty, but not even I can figure out how to put this Humpty Dumpty back together again." "Can I pick your brain?" "Sure." "So, Doc, help me out here." "As you can see, the left side of Ms. Russo's face, the point of impact, has just been shattered beyond recognition." "There's no cheekbone, no jaw structure to prop up." "Try a vitallium recon plate for the left mandible." "At least it'll give you some architecture to manipulate." "There's no stable fixation point." "The whole side's like Smucker's jelly." "(sighs)" "Dr. Troy, I don't think there's anything else I can do for her." "I think we're talking closed casket here." "You want a minute?" "For all the times I've wanted to kill you, this wasn't one of them." "(CELL PHONE ringing)" "Hello?" "His heart suddenly dropped from 74 to 140." "He's been labile for the last half an hour." "Fever?" "105." "His heart rate stabilized at 90, but his BP keeps bottoming out." "Get his chart." "Maybe he's on some medication we're not aware of." "No, he doesn't take anything." "He's never been sick a day." "Now, you fix this." "Maybe those instruments you used weren't sterile." "I've read about that." "I assure you, we sterilize everything." "I can't lose him." "I'll kill myself if something happens to him." "Kyle, can you hear me?" "Baby?" "Mrs. Ainge, your husband is in some kind of septic shock." "If you want him to pull through this, you're gonna have to wait outside." "You understand?" "Gonna start him on a dopamine drip, 10 mics." "Have some ephedrine standing by." "He's losing blood pressure." "How's it going, Colleen?" "What's the matter, cookie?" "Minor trouble with another patient." "He's stabilized." "Oh, well, he'll live." "I mean, you are a genius." "Your work is just goddamn brilliant." "I could have a second career as a foot model." "Seriously." "Well, you seem to be healing perfectly." "So I'll just check in later." "Look what I made you." "(COLLEEN LAUGHS)" "It's a Sean bear." "And look." "SEAN ON TAPE:" "Tell me what you don't like about yourself." "I recorded it during our consult." "Also, I sewed these surgery garbs and the booties myself, in silk." "So it'd be soft against your skin." "It's" "(LAUGHS) charming." "It's how I express my friendship." "Here." "It's my hobby." "I make teddies instead of knitting or whatever these other people do to relax." "I'm in a very stressful profession, as I'm sure you know." "Colleen, when we started working together," "I had in mind a more business-like arrangement." "I understand your approach is a more personal, hands-on kind of... (KNOCK ON DOOR)" "Are you ready, Sean?" "Operation Katrina kids, here we come." "Hey, Bob." "You know, I'll be right down." "We're just finishing up here." "Operation Katrina kids?" "Who's this?" "Bob Levitts." "CAA!" "What's CAA?" "That's CAA." "Creative Artists Agency." "Whatever." "Why are you gonna fly to Katrina with them?" "What, you want poverty?" "I'll show you poverty." "We'll get in my Volvo, we'll drive down to Watts." "Colleen." "Well, come on, these guys are gonna eat you alive, Sean." "You're nothing but a piece of meat to them." "As soon as they swallow you, they're gonna shit you out just like last night's dinner at The Palm." "Bob, can you just give us a minute?" "Yeah." "Do what you gotta do." "We got a private jet waiting." "No one's gonna leave without you." "Okay." "Nice to meet you, Collette." "You can't go." "You have a patient in distress." "I told you, my patient has stabilized." "I'm only out for the afternoon." "I was talking about me." "My staff will look after you." "And as for you and me, I haven't made any commitments." "I just want to explore my options." "Fine, go." "You just broke my heart." "Colleen." "Go!" "Go!" "SEAN ON TAPE:" "Tell me what you don 't like about yourself." "Tell me what you don't like about yourself." "(RECORDED voice slowing)" "Big turnout, huh?" "Yeah." "I knew she didn't have any family, but I didn't realize she had so many friends." "Nice to know, right?" "That she touched so many people." "Hello, everyone." "I'm Manuel." "Hi, Manuel." "Hi, Manuel." "Today is a very sad day." "We've lost a dear friend, a pillar of support in our struggle to control those impulses that too often run our lives." "All these people must be from her Sexaholics Anonymous heyday." "Gina, more than anyone in this room, you struggled with those impulses." "Well, no more." "So in that spirit," "I'm going to say what I know everyone is thinking right now." "She gave the best damn blowjob I ever had." "Gina gave me the rim-job of my life." "A handjob like an octopus." "Her tongue could actually vibrate." "In fact," "I'm hard right now." "My little G-spot, that's what I liked to call her." "And the taint is real, folks." "Gina turned me on to that, too." "And I'm going to be whacking off to those memories for the rest of my life." "I only had sex with Gina once." "And I'm sorry that I did." "Because I am the guy" "who gave her aids." "Not on purpose." "I didn't even know myself that I was positive at the time." "But, Gina, when I told her," "she forgave me." "She..." "She said it would finally force her to get her life under control, something she wasn't able to do before." "She even helped me get treatment." "I mean, she supported me." "This addiction that we have, it can ruin your life." "But in a weird way, when I met Gina," "it saved mine." "It was the wake-up call that I needed." "And I want to thank her for that." "(kids chattering)" "ls something wrong?" "He did it again." "This time during sleepy time." "Mason Pierce was just lying on her mat next to him." "She needed two stitches." "I don't understand." "He's such a sweet kid." "Well, have you told him about his mother's death yet?" "(sighs) No." "Look, I can't protect him anymore." "If I don't remove him, the parents are going to sue." "How much?" "Wilber loves it here." "He needs some kind of consistency in his life." "There must be something you need." "A jungle gym?" "I was hoping that you could provide something else to climb on." "(gasping)" "That's it, right there, big boy." "That's good." "Oh, what a good, big boy you are!" "(MOANlNG)" "Faster." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Faster, faster." "Yes, that's good." "Yes!" "Faster, please!" "(MOANlNG)" "Jesus." "What the..." "You bit me." "I'm sorry." "You drew blood." "I'm sorry." "I just..." "I've never done that before." "I guess you bring out the animal in me." "You're the one who bit the kids, aren't you?" "Sorry, but I would never hurt a child." "I understand that it's difficult to accept that your son has issues." "But it's gonna take a lot more than the accusations of the father of a bad little biter and my behavior in a moment of passion to release Wilber from the responsibility of these attacks." "Okay?" "Okay." "Well, I'm gonna do a hell of a lot more than that, Vampira." "Just so you know, I'm pretty good with skin, and I don't think it'd be too much trouble for me to take an indentation of the marks you just left on my neck, match them to the ones on the kids that you claim Wilber bit." "I hope you know how to operate a griddle, because you won't be teaching kids anymore." "(BEEPlNG)" "SEAN:" "The new lab work pinpoints his white blood count at 30,000." "But they still don't pinpoint the cause of the infection." "We're losing him, Sean." "How is he?" "We need to move him, get him to a hospital." "He's fighting something, and we don't know what it is." "We're running out of options." "I think I know what's made him sick." "I cut myself, fed him small pieces of my flesh." "(sobbing)" "He's in recovery." "I didn't mean to." "After the operation, I felt so guilty about what I did, about what he did for me." "I made him do it." "Love nourishes." "It does." "What?" "Kyle showed me that." "Do you have any idea how filthy and contaminated human flesh is?" "Bacteria in uncooked meat can cause life-threatening diseases." "I don't understand." "I ate pieces of him." "I didn't get sick." "Well, he said he warmed those pieces." "Obviously, the heat was enough to kill anything toxic." "If your husband dies, Mrs. Ainge, you have yourself to thank." "(stammering) Who are you calling?" "I didn't want to hurt him." "I just..." "It would help me get rid of my shame." "I thought if we both did it, we could be like we were." "Please don't call the police." "I can't promise you that." "I'm sorry." "Dr. Larsen, please." "Tell him Dr. McNamara is on his way over." "If he could meet me at the ER, I'd appreciate it." "(DOORBELL buzzing)" "Welcome to my humble home." "Wait a minute, you said this was your office." "My home office, yes." "Please, come in." "Right." "So, Koreatown." "It's an up-and-coming neighborhood, I'm told." "I feel so safe here, and the vegetables are so inexpensive." "Can I take your jacket?" "Yeah." "Wow." "A lot of bears." "Yes." "Have you spoken to Sean?" "He's running a few minutes late." "Would you like a glass of Asti?" "Cheese canapé?" "No?" "I really appreciate you agreeing to this meeting, Bob." "I like doing things in a very open and honest fashion." "Just putting everything out on the table." "That way everyone feels that they've been heard, and Sean can then make a more informed choice." "Whatever it takes." "Please." "Wait." "You know, Sean is a great talent." "He deserves the best representation." "I made you your own bear." "It's an agent bear." "What the hell is this?" "That's what you do, isn't it?" "Eat people alive?" "Devour their souls and spirits." "Have a cheese canapé, Bob." "No." "I went to a lot of trouble." "Thank you." "No." "So, Colleen, who else do you represent these days?" "Why, so you can steal them from me, too?" "I represent Moon Zappa, Dakota Fanning." "I also happen to represent Ms. Nicole Kidman." "She's just stunning." "Well, I wonder how that works." "Since I'm on Team Nicole." "Not anymore!" "COLLEEN: (whispering) Wakey-wakey." "Wakey-wakey." "Wakey-wakey, Mr. Agent Bear." "(ME AND MY TEDDY BEAR playing)" "Are you ready to be immortalized forever?" "I know what you were thinking." "You thought, "I'll just make a few snide remarks about her age" ""and her pitiful apartment, and then Sean will be all yours."" "Well, it's hard to talk with duct tape on your mouth, isn't it?" "You know what it's like to be a nobody" "(BOB groaning) and suddenly become a somebody because you hitched your dumb little unimportant star to one that shines so much brighter than yours?" "(sobbing) And do you know how much it hurts when that wondrous magical star suddenly flickers out and dies in your life and you end up being just shut in the shadows?" "It hurts so much!" "You will not take away my star." "You will not take away my Sean." "(MOANlNG frantically)" "I want you to open your mouth." "I said, open your mouth!" "Get some goddamn dignity." "(BOB WHlMPERlNG)" "(MOANlNG hysterically)" "(machine blowing)" "See the stuffing?" "It's going inside you now." "That's it, that's it, that's it, that's it." "Hey, there." "Officer Cane is here to assist you to the police station and take an imprint of your teeth." "You can go peacefully, but frankly, I'd prefer if you resisted arrest." "I'll be happy to do anything to help clear my name." "Our parents pay a premium to send their children here, and I really don't want to waste any more of my valuable time so Dr. Troy can remain in denial about his son." "Just so you know, you'll be away for two years for this." "And even female inmates don't take kindly to bitches that bite babies." "I'm sorry, Officer, I forgot my purse." "I had my teeth capped, dickhead." "Okay." "(FLESH FOR FANTASYPLAYlNG)" "SEAN:" "Laney's forearm flexor muscles are about 30% gone." "She might lose partial control of her hand because of this." "linda:" "If she had just ordered him beef carpaccio." "I don't think her husband would've known the difference." "How is Mr. Ainge doing?" "The hospital localized two infections, toxoplasmosis and listeria, but he is responding to antibiotics." "Did you take a bite out of crime, McGruff?" "That bitch filed away the evidence and got caps." "So they couldn't prosecute?" "The principal believed me, however." "So, the least I can do is get her fired." "What are you gonna tell Wilber, now that his teacher is gone, too?" "That she was picked up by a tornado and carried far, far away, and never to be seen again." "You can't keep lying to him." "He's gonna keep asking questions, you know that." "He's too young to understand, all right?" "It's too hard on him." "I think it's too hard on you." "Is that a sausage toe?" "I don't think so." "Just a little swollen." "Have you been wearing closed-toe shoes?" "Oops." "You told me and I forgot." "I was a bad girl." "You just need to ice it and take some ibuprofen." "Sorry I was so panicky." "It's fine." "You will remain a watched-over patient at McNamara/Troy until you're healed and happy." "(COLLEEN LAUGHS)" "Um..." "I know I kind of misbehaved the last time I saw you." "And for that, I'm very sorry." "And I also wanted to take this opportunity to wish you well with CAA, and that charming Bob Levitts." "Actually, my mentor taught me once." "She said, "Never be sad if you lose a client."" "It's sort of like the Pope." "You know, when one goes, another one comes along." "Well, this Pope isn't going anywhere." "Apparently, Bob Levitts had some kind of spiritual awakening after our trip to New Orleans." "He sent out a mass e-mail, via his BlackBerry, saying he's taken off for Darfur to build schools." "(exclaims)" "How fantastic for those refugees over there." "Bob's a real go-getter." "I'm sorry." "Not so fantastic for you, Sean." "Have any of his colleagues tried to contact you?" "Oh..." "Not a single one." "Fools." "Why didn't you call me?" "I mean, at the very least, I am your friend." "I didn't feel I had the right." "After running off like that." "I guess I was bit by the bug." "The Hollywood bug." "It's what this town does to us." "We've all been there, cookie." "It's odd." "I never would've imagined it." "The whole time we were down there, he was chasing Fats Domino, trying to sign him." "(SCOFFS)" "Didn't seem like he had a spiritual awakening." "(CHUCKLES)" "It's hard to keep those ethics intact when you have that constant corporate pressure." "Yeah, I'm seeing that." "We were a rare team, you and I." "What do you say we just forget this whole incident, and start over?" "Sounds like a plan." "Good." "christian:" "Close your eyes." "Keep them closed." "Keep them closed." "Keep them closed." "Not yet." "Open." "He's mine?" "Actually, he's a she." "I called her Lipo." "Isn't that cute?" "Huh?" "Daddy got her from the pound." "I always wanted a puppy when I was a little boy." "So, now, anytime you feel like you miss your mommy, you can play with your puppy so you don't get sad." "Cool." "(christian LAUGHS)" "Daddy, is Mommy coming back?" "No, honey." "Mommy's never coming back." "English" " SDH"