"It's my privilege, as deputy leader of the council, to present the Wives' Support Group with this cheque for £450." "I'll have you, you bastard!" "I'll have you, you scab!" "A lie is a lie, and she's telling lies!" "Order!" "The honourable member will withdraw from this house!" "And these are all rented out to claimants?" " Multiple occupation." " Yeah?" "With the rents guaranteed by the DHSS." "They're potential goldmines." "I think I can help you, Terry." " Where are we going?" " We're home, man, Felix." " You're home." " We don't live here." "He said he'd probably go on having depressions for a long time." "Don't worry." "One, two, three." "Will you marry me?" " Yes." " Yes." "Yes!" " He must be up the other end." " Felix, man, we've been up the other end twice." "He wasn't at the other end, was he?" " No." " And he's not at this end, is he?" " No." " And he was nowhere in between, was he?" " No." " He doesn't live here." "Your dad's been dead for donkeys', and this isn't Ferry Street anyway." "Ferry Street got pulled down." "He must be up the other end." "Mother, how much longer?" "Come on." "I'll take him off your hands for a couple of hours." " There's no need." " There is." "You can have a lie down, get some sleep." "Was he up all night?" " He turned the gas on again." " Christ!" "Mother, my dad's got Alzheimer's!" "He needs proper care." "Come on, Dad." " What was your dad like?" " Hard." "A hard man, my dad." "Why didn't he go on the Jarrow march?" "Dad, I'm saying how come you marched to London and he stayed at home?" "There was no love in the house." "No?" "He said it would be a waste of time." "Oh, aye, and your ma was there waiting, when we got to Marble Arch." " Pouring with rain." " Was she?" "Of course, she was in service, wasn't she?" "Was she proud of you?" "I bet she was." "She just cried." "We were wet through, you know." "All that way..." "She was lovely, your ma." " She was a lovely woman." " She's still a lovely woman." "Who do you live with, Dad?" "When did you last see your dad?" "This morning, at the house." " I thought you couldn't find him." " Why-aye." "Dad, if he was there, how is it, do you think, that I couldn't see him?" "Maybe he didn't want you to see him." " Why not?" " Because he knows you're a useless son." "You've always been useless to your family." "Er...you'd better stay here, pet, OK?" "Better late than never." "Well, I'm a busy man, sweetheart." "Could you open the window, please?" "♪ Sitting at home, watching TV" "♪ Turn it off, no good for me" "♪ Why don't you?" "♪ Why don't you?" "♪ Why don't you?" "♪ Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Christ!" " Where did they find her?" " In the river." " She was an alcoholic." " When did you last see her?" "Look, I'm a landlord, not a social worker." "When did you last see her?" "Jesus!" "Hey, I'm not responsible for every basket case they turf out of the bins, you know!" "I'm a businessman." "Elaine!" "I told you to stay outside, didn't I?" "Crackers, she was." "Get that bloody window fixed, you." "You're supposed to be a caretaker, not a psychiatrist!" "We haven't any money, Frank." "I'm not allowed to borrow, so we're sacking people, OK?" "Let's be clear about the day after tomorrow." "We're talking about cutting everything except what we're legally obliged to provide, yes?" "Yes, we're abandoning our commitments." "At the meeting, Frank, not tonight." "Yes?" "My brain's gone." "OK." "Thanks." "Left it too late, you know." "I've wasted all those years arguing with him instead of listening." "Let's see..." "Anthony and Barbara's baby arrived a week yesterday." "Yeah?" "So?" "Since then, you haven't been near me." "So, it looks to me like you just don't want to make love to a granny." "It wouldn't be the first time, darling." "Oh!" "You..." "I'll punish you for that." "Now, look, don't tire me out." "I've got a very demanding day, signing autographs in London." "Thanks." " Thank you." " Thank you." " Could it say, "To Alice MacDonald?"" " Sure." " I think it's incredible." " Thanks." "I appreciate you saying that, Alice." " Thank you." " Thanks." " My name's Alice MacDonald." " Yeah, I remember." "Sorry." "Stupid!" "The thing is, I'm a photography first-year at the poly and I'm doing a dissertation, about you really," "and I..." "I just lost my nerve in the bookshop." "What I wanted to ask you was..." "Alice, I'm about to do some work, if you don't mind." "Here's what you do: you write to the publisher, you ask for an interview, then I have a choice." " OK?" " I could carry your bag." "I think I've been very fair." "Please!" "How else do you learn anything for real?" "Well, it's a free country." "Apparently." " What kind of lens are you using?" " It's a lens!" "I'm working, OK?" "Here." "Make yourself useful." "Now, listen." "This is important." "You're the one that's getting worked up." "I'm not." "Fuck off!" " Is it someone you know?" " Go home." "Give it here!" "Geordie, get your head down." "Geordie..." "A couple of quid, sir?" "How long's he been sleeping rough?" "Geordie, got a drink?" " Fuck off, you!" " Yeah?" "Have a drink on me." "OK?" "Geordie, it's Nicky." " Come with me, Geordie." " You want to stay with me, don't you, Geordie?" "You can come." "She can come." "Come on, Geordie." " Nicky!" " Geordie, come on." "Come on." "Leave him alone!" "Leave him alone!" "Leave him alone!" "I just want to help." "You don't need money." "You need somewhere to stay." " Come on, Geordie." "I don't like him." " OK." "OK." "OK." "You can have some money." "No." " Don't spend it on booze." " No, no, we won't." " We'll spend it sensibly, won't we, Geordie?" " Definitely." "I'll come back tomorrow morning." "Here, yeah?" "If you're here, there'll be more money." "OK?" "I'll make sure he's here." "Please don't tell me to go home." "I've forgotten how you do this." " Hello?" " Nicky?" "It's me." " Mary?" " Yes, Mary." "You remember me?" "What's the decision?" " About what?" " About tomorrow night." "Will you be home?" "Yes." "You won't like this." "I have a confession." " You'll still love me, won't you?" " Yeah." " You OK?" " I'm fine." "We're having dinner with Tosker and Elaine tomorrow night." "Oh, what?" "I know." "Tosker asked me to get alongside her." "She's got a few problems." "And what'll me and Tosker be doing?" "Playing with his Meccano set?" " Look, if you really can't face it..." " No, no." "I'll be there." " Look, I'm meeting Eddie at the Commons." " OK." "I'll see you tomorrow." " Bye." "I love you." " Yeah, me too." "Bye." "Call me toni..." "OK, Frank, before you start..." "Sorry to do this, but I want to throw something else into the pot." "Frank, I want your team to spend today drawing up a proposal for next year's spending based not on one director and three assistants but one director and one assistant." "You want them to draw up the proposal for how you can sack two of them?" "I'm sorry, but if we're cutting home helps and day centres, this has to be an option as well." "Where The Streets Have No Name" "What have you brought me to Valley View for?" "Terry, you can't leave the car here." "They'll use it for a ram-raid!" "You don't want to believe all that rubbish in the papers." "They're decent people living here." "All they want's a chance." "Hey, over here, bonny lads." "Watch this car for us." "I'll give youse a pound each." "Yeah?" "OK." "I've made a decision." "I've decided to get rid of the doss-houses." " The whole lot?" " The whole lot." " Honest?" " Honest." "They're more trouble than they're worth anyway." "I'm glad." "Because, to be frank, I was ashamed of you." "I know." "What's this got to do with Valley View?" "Well, I've been having a little chat with Alan Roe about what to do with the money." " Alan Roe?" " No, no, no." "Listen." "Listen." "What do you notice?" "What do you notice about that one for example?" " It's got a different front door." " It's got a different front door." "It's got UPVC windows, and if you walk round the back, it's got an ornamental fish pond." " You never see that on Panorama, do you?" " What are you talking about?" "Home ownership, the big success story of the '80s." "They've bought the house off the council, man." "Now, how many do you see?" "Not many." "Why?" "Because my ex-wife and her mates have done everything they could to stop it, but they can't." "It's the law." "These people have a right to buy their houses at big discounts." "Three-, four-bedroom houses for 10 grand." "All they need is help." " Oh, no..." " Oh, yes." "Me and Alan." "Man, the government gives you that many tax breaks, it's practically free to set up." "We give out 100% mortgages, slightly higher rates than the high-street lenders, but no questions asked." "If you want a mortgage, we'll give you one." "People have a right to own their own home." "How can that be wrong, Elaine?" "There you are, lads, one for you, one for you and one for you." "Cheers." "You see, I know what it's like to want your own home and not be able to afford it." "Remember him?" "Colin Butler." "You should do." "It was his dirty-tricks campaign that slaughtered you in '79." "He runs a PR company now." "Public relations." "Remember that." "Claims he can arrange everything from a private meeting with a cabinet minister to significant alteration of government legislation, if the price is right, and it's all supposed to be legal." "£200 to pay an MP to put down a written question," "£40,000 to bend legislation whichever way you want." "Austin Donohue was nothing compared to what's going on now and he got four years for it." "Look at them all." "Can't believe their luck." "They've got theirselves another five years to stick their snouts in the trough." "Does not scripture say, "My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations, but you have made it a robber's cave"?" " Jesus Christ!" " Exactly." "Mark's gospel, Chapter 11, verse 15." "I should have done something." "Eh?" "Tory tart!" "You know, you've been making slanderous remarks about me for six months now, Eddie." "Why don't you repeat some of them outside the house, so I can sue you?" "Pimp." "Nicky Hutchinson..." "Ironic seeing you in this place." "Jumped-up, smarmy-faced con man." "Look, Eddie, I've got to go." "Eddie, the clerk is being really difficult about tabling those questions." "The guy is so patronising!" "Nicky, Francine Volker, my Yankee researcher." " Hi." " Hi." " Hey, I read your book." "It's really great." " Sorry, Eddie." "I've got to go." "Yeah, well, look, are you interested?" "Lobby groups." "It's a scandal, isn't it?" " Why me, Eddie?" " It's public relations, man." "You said it was all legal, though, so..." "Listen, just because Butler gets invited to parties in Downing Street, he thinks he can get away with it all his life." "I'll bet you he's gone way beyond what's legal." " Can't help himself, man." " Who are his big clients?" "House builders, finance companies who want the laws on public sector housing finance changed." "They want local authority powers taken away." "They want a completely privatised market in house-building." " Ask your wife how she'd like that, eh?" " OK." "Yeah." "I'll do some digging." "Use Francine." "She's a good digger." "Aren't you?" " Are you all right, Nicky?" " OK." "Yeah." "No, I'm fine." "See you, mate." "What do you want?" "What's going on in there?" "Hmm?" "I didn't know who you were yesterday." "You surprised me." "You're very angry, aren't you?" "And frightened." "Don't be." "Do you want it like last night again?" "You can do what you want." "We can do what we want." "Tell me what you want." "Well, I promised to call Alan." "OK?" "I'll be back in a minute." "Well, not a minute..." "Say, 20 minutes?" "I can't keep up with him." "He does whatever Alan Roe tells him." "Alan Roe said, "Buy doss-houses," so he did." "Alan Roe said, "Buy yourself a big house."" "Alan Roe said, "The down wave's coming." "Don't buy yourself a big house."" "He's like a yo-yo on Alan Roe's bit of string" "I got the impression, when you first got together, it was going to be a partnership as well as a marriage." "We were going to share everything." "And?" "Do men know how to share?" "He thinks your problem's to do with wanting a child." "He told you that?" "Yes," "I wanted children, but that's not a possibility and I've accepted that." "What makes it so hard to bear is that the problem was mine, not ours," "and I didn't think he was like that." "Oh, you do, I know." "You've never thought that much of him." "That's not really fair, Elaine." " He's selling the doss-houses, you know." " Is he?" "Oh, good." "Him and Alan have got a new idea." "A company to provide mortgages for people wanting to buy their council houses." " Hmm." " Well, I believe in freedom of choice." "So do I. Let those who want to buy, buy." "Let those who want to rent, rent, but what will they rent if I've sold all the council houses?" "Well, why not use the proceeds to build more council houses?" "Because a) I have to sell them dirt cheap, and b) I'm only allowed to use half the proceeds to build replacement houses." "The other half has to finance a reduction in the rates." "Well, it's freedom of choice for those who can afford to buy." "Yes, exactly!" "If Alan Roe thinks the down wave's coming, why are they putting money into council house sales?" "I don't know." " Well..." " It's not a new idea." "Various companies in the south have set up to do the same." "Either way, they make a lot of money." "If the boom continues, they charge high interest to people who wouldn't get a mortgage in the high street." "If the bubble bursts and people can't keep up the repayments, they repossess them." "Then they've got their hands on property at rock-bottom prices, paid for by the rate-payers!" "I would think that's what Alan Roe's banking on, wouldn't you?" "At least Austin Donohue actually built the houses he made money out of." "Everything OK?" "Yes!" "Wooh!" "Come on!" "Woo-hoo!" "Come on!" "Yes!" " Come on, you bastards!" " What are you doing, you mad fucker?" "!" "Woo-hoo!" "Is Valley View still a no-go area, even in daylight?" "Do not go into Valley View." "I repeat, do not go into Valley View." "Wooh!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "What's the matter?" "Are you frightened, you useless bastards?" "Eh?" " Come on!" "Come on, you bastards!" " Control, Control, he's got a gun!" "Come on!" "Wooh!" "Mary?" "Frank." "This is for tomorrow's budget meeting." "Mrs Cox, my name's Eileen Benson." "I'm a home help." " Hi." " Hi." " We've been put on the scrapheap." " Sorry." " It's heart-breaking, Mrs Cox." " It's OK." "Did I miss much?" " No." " How was Mr Doss-houses?" "Nicky, this is your mam." "It's quarter past eleven." "Dad's off on his travels round Valley View." " I could do with a hand, son." "I know it's late." " Oh, God..." "Mary, it's Frank." "Don't leave this till tomorrow." "There's an incident at Valley View involving a gun." " This could be big trouble." "I'm going there now." " Shit!" "Wait!" "I'm coming." "Moving into position now, sir." "Christopher, there are armed police." "Open the window and throw out the weapon." "Come on, bizzies!" "Have a go!" "You should see them." "There's bloody hundreds of them out there, man." "The whole street's out." "Everybody, Naz." "There's hundreds of them." " Did you see what kind of gun it was?" " I didn't get a clear sight of it, sir." " Where's the other lad who was with you?" " Er..." " Get those people back!" " Look, sir, I know this lad." " Get over there, will you?" "Christopher, throw out the weapon." "What have you done to get all this palaver?" "How come they followed you back to the estate?" " Chris, they don't know it's a pop-gun." " You should have seen them!" "It was fucking excellent!" "Look at that, Sean, son, eh?" "Power." "Right, Sean." "I'm going to get him out of the way." " Your dad's bloody mental!" " Come on, punks!" "Make my day!" "Felix, would you like a nice cup of tea?" "Felix?" "A nice cup of tea?" "This is the way home." "Come on." "Go back the way you came." "There's a serious incident happening." "Go back." "He can't understand you, pet." "It's OK, Felix." " It's OK, pet, I'll sort him out." " Go back the way you came, OK?" "It's OK, Felix." "It's OK, pet." "We have to go this way." "Everything's OK." "Come on, Felix, man!" "I want my dad!" "I want my dad!" "I want my dad!" "You OK, Mam?" "Come on." "Come on." " Nice cup of tea?" " Yeah, I'll make you one." " Who are you?" " Who am I?" "Well, it doesn't matter who I am, does it?" "Come on." "He's drifting off to sleep, I think." "I've done my best, son." "I can't cope with him any more." "There are, of course, a number of causes leading to an incident like this, but what is surely apparent, after one makes all the allowances one should, is that this estate is facing a breakdown in law and order." " Thank you, minister." " She isn't getting away with that." " Mary, we've got the unions in 10 minutes." " Just give me a minute, Frank." "Have you any idea the damage you do when you make that sort of statement?" "Just a second, please." "When will you realise you share responsibility for this place?" "I spent last week closing day centres." "Old ladies sitting on their own for months on end in dirty houses, because I've also had to sack the home helps." "Closing libraries, closing community..." "This boy fired a gun at police because the local library's run out of Trollope?" "Oh..." "There is 75% youth unemployment on this estate." "Indeed, and I regret that, but I do not need a lecture from you about my own constituency." " At least I live in the constituency." " Yes, I noticed you'd moved in." "If you think you could do a better job, why didn't you stand against me in the election?" "I would have welcomed it." "I was too busy coping with the consequences of the bloody mess you and your government are making." " Not because you thought you might lose, then?" " Oh, drop dead!" "You're a waste of time." "And bring your arm round nice and slowly." "Right down, breathing slowly." "Up with the left, and bring it down, nice and slowly." "That's it, Tina, lovely." "And up with the other one." "Bring it up." "Now, that's it." "Lovely, Peggy." "That's right." "Bring it down again." "Now, hands on shoulders and up..." "This is the pretty little thing that's frost-tender, Percy?" "Yes, diascia." "It's a lovely little plant to have in the garden." "As a matter of fact, I first got that from Powis Castle, Welsh border." "Did you?" "Hey!" "Change it back!" "Change it back!" "Now, now, Felix, you can't just do that." "I put a batch of these in during the autumn to make sure I've got plenty for next year." "Ta-ra, Felix." " Nice cup of tea, pet?" " In about 45 minutes." "Er..." "I've unpacked his things for him, so he won't be needing this." "50 Tory MPs on the payroll of lobby groups so far." "That's what we've found out." "How about you?" "You talked to your friends in Fleet Street?" "I just can't get excited about all this, Eddie." "Look, there are bent MPs on the take." "What else is new?" "You'll never prove anything." "They're much cleverer about it than Edwards and Seabrook were and nobody cares, Eddie." "Nobody expects anything better from politicians these days." "Should have known better." "You've always thought this place was a sham anyway." "Well, I expect better, Nicky." "It turns my stomach to see what's happening to this country." "The Tories have turned the whole place into one gigantic knocking shop." "This lass came over here to learn about the Mother of Parliaments." "It might be the Mother of Parliaments, but the Tories have their hands up her skirts." "Sorry to be crude, Francine." "So, you're not interested?" "Fair enough." "What I'm really saying is this:" "as far as I remember, you came here to get houses built, attack poverty and speak up for people who have no voice in the world, and what are you doing?" "Getting pissed in the bar and playing the same irrelevant political point-scoring games as the rest of the wankers in this place." "Is this what it's about for you, Eddie, sticking your tongue out at the Tories?" "It's pathetic." "Well..." " That's me and you finished, Nicky." " See you." "Bye." "Right, well, it's er..." "It's up to me and you, pet." "It's time the privileges committee called Butler in." "Now we know who's on his payroll, it's time to ask him the big question." " Which is what?" " What does he get for his money?" "Go through the register of interests." "Check the voting records of those MPs on any legislation that affects the interests of Butler's clients first thing in the morning." " Let go!" " I'm not letting go!" " You're not leaving!" " I am leaving!" "I'm leaving!" "You..." "You..." "Coward!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" " Stop it!" " You never, ever listen to what I'm saying!" " Stop it!" " Liar!" "Get off!" "I want you, Terry." "I want a partnership, us making decisions here, not you making decisions on the golf course with Alan and only telling me half the story in case I don't like it." "I'm not some little wife sitting here, making sandwiches for the men." "I won't be that." " You see, I'm just..." " I never wanted a mansion in Northumberland." " Do you see?" " Yeah, I know that now." " I've been too busy..." " I never wanted it!" " See, I thought you did." " No!" "No." "I realise that now." "I would rather have had a nice house back in Gosforth and a villa in Spain." " Eh?" " We're young!" "Why don't we live a little?" "Look, put it all into stocks and shares." "Let the money work for us." "Good idea." "But, listen, I've got a better one." " Oh, I might as well talk to the bloody wall!" " OK, OK." "Calm down, will you?" "At least hear us out." "OK." "What I want to do is... ..is go back into show biz." " Oh, my God!" " No, no, no." "Listen." "Listen." "Listen." "We'll sell the houses and buy three or four pubs." " Pubs?" "!" " Listen." "Listen." "Karaoke." " What about it?" " It's going to be big, I'm telling you." "A load of drunk people singing out of tune in pubs?" "Terry, it's just another harebrained scheme." "Will you please grow up and hear what I'm saying?" "Put all the money in shares." "For now." "And then, you and me will go on a second honeymoon and sort things out." "If you ask me, these are both sound investments." "OK." "You won't regret it." "I promise." " What's all this?" " People who called to congratulate you on this." "It's extraordinary, Nicky, like pictures from another planet or something." "Who is he?" "Don't know." "David Coyne, Colin Suthers, Paul Grogan," "Andy..." "Alice MacDonald." "Who's Alice MacDonald?" "She's that student I told you about, the one who's doing a dissertation." "Oh." " Good night, Nicky." " Good night." "Do you need to go to London again today?" " Is it a problem?" " No." "We're not very good at telling the truth, are we?" " About what?" " About anything, really." " Christopher Collins, for example." " Aren't we?" "Claudia Seabrook thinks she is." "Claudia Seabrook's got her head up her arse, calling it a law and order problem." "It's to be expected, but it's got precious little to do with social service cuts either." " What?" " Let's get honest." "You know all about Christopher Collins and so do I." "He's not poor." "He's got a house." "He's got a job." "When he can be bothered to go to it." "He's got a wife...of sorts." "He's got a five-year-old son, and he's 18 years old!" "Why are you spending so much time in London?" "I'm working for Eddie, trying to find out what I can about lobby groups buying and selling influence in parliament." "OK, why do you think I'm spending so much time in London?" "I don't know." "That's why I'm asking." " I think I've just told you." " It's not what Eddie says." "I speak to him twice a week, Nicky." "Look, me and Eddie had a row, but he's wrong." "I'm still digging for him." "If he'd pick up when I ring, he'd know that." " You said some horrible things to him." " I'll apologise if he'll let me." " Nicky, what's going wrong?" " Nothing." "It'll break my heart if this goes wrong." "Nothing's wrong, but listen, don't start saying" "Valley View's got nothing to do with politics, it's all down to the individual." "That's playing into Claudia Seabrook's hands." "Her great leader: "There's no such thing as society." Remember?" " I didn't say that, though." " Not a million miles away." "You don't hear what I'm saying, then." "I'm saying it's more important than ever these days to fight for what you believe in." "I'm trying to." "Are you?" "Are you going to get me on this train or what?" "If it's that important." "It is." "Eddie, come on." "Come on, answer." "Where the hell is he?" "Sorry." "Time to go." "I thought you were spending the night." " I changed my mind." " Why?" "Nicky..." "You've had what you wanted." "You've shown me off round London, so, now, everybody knows you can still pull young birds." " Pardon?" " Nicky, you're a married man." "Look, it's been terrific, but, you know..." "Look." "Look, I could be spending quite a lot of time down here." " Nicky..." " Hey, look, this is a bit abrupt, isn't it?" "Nicky!" "We spend another night together, then, if tomorrow, it still seems..." "Nicky, I've decided." "You've decided?" "So, that's it?" "You make a decision and I'm just..." " Are you meeting someone else?" " Yes." "None of your business." "Come on, Nicky." " I think I love you." " I know you think you love me." "But..." "OK, you'd better go, then." "Bye." "There's nothing in what Eddie Wells has alleged to suggest anyone in government is involved in the shenanigans surrounding lobby groups' payments to Tory MPs, but he certainly has put the cat among the pigeons by succeeding in his campaign to have it examined" "by the select committee on privileges." "I spoke to him." "Tomorrow, I'll be naming names, and I'll be asking Colin Butler," ""Which MPs do you pay..."" ".. Coventry City, nil." " Hey, man, pack it in!" "He's my mate!" " Ah, shut up." "You shut up!" "He's my mate, man!" ".. so I'll drag the MPs in front of the committee and I'll..." " Now, leave it!" " .. 50 of them if necessary." "Eight years of bone-dry Tory government has built a bonfire of corruption and malpractice." "What I'm going to do tomorrow is set the match to it." " Sod this!" "..Crystal Palace, one." "Ipswich town, nil." "Derby County, two." "Set it alight..." " Stupid." " Yeah." "Yeah, good." "It's in the box anyway." "Going to burn it." "Burn it down, cos it's dry." "Put a match to it." "Really put a match to it." "Eddie, do you want me to set my bed alight?" "You've cracked, man." "You'll get me into trouble." "OK." " You're late!" "Oh!" " Sorry." " Hi." " Hi." "Look, I was a bit out of order with Eddie, but he just slams the phone down on me." "I've been round to see him, and he's not in." "Can you get him to call me?" "Yeah, OK." "Will do." "It's just that, you know, a lot of things are going on for me and I lost my rag a bit." "I know he's fond of you." "He'll listen to you." "OK?" "That's all." "You bitch." "I told them to cancel your pass." " Eddie, I have to talk to you." " Changed your mind, have you?" "Who says people don't care?" "Front-page news, man." "Yeah, I was wrong." "I'm sorry, Eddie." "All right." "We'll forget it." "We'll have a drink after." "OK?" "Eddie, hang on." "Remember I told you once I suspected PR firms sometimes provided MPs with researchers who were, in fact, paid employees of the PR firms all along?" "That's right." "I forgot." "I'll grill him about that as well." "Well, I now know at least one of them by name." "She's being paid by Colin Butler Communications." "Oh, naughty, naughty, Mr Butler." "Who's she working for?" "When did Francine first offer her services?" "Shortly after you first started showing an interest in lobby groups, yeah?" "Butler stitched you up, Eddie." "You ask him who's on the pay roll at Westminster, the first thing he'll say is Francine Volker." "She's not been in England long." "She maybe doesn't understand." "She doesn't just work for him, Eddie." "She shares his bed." "Ahem." "Thank you for attending this morning, Mr Butler." "We will begin with some questions from Mr Wells." "I er..." "I er..." "I don't have any questions." "Geordie, listen very carefully to what I have to say." "You have been found guilty of arson with intent to endanger life." "The kind of sentence the judge will give you depends a lot on what I write in my report." "Do you understand?" "Do you understand how important this morning is?" "OK." "Now, you've already told the court during your trial that you set fire to your room at the shelter because a voice told you to." "Is that right?" "And this voice came from the television set?" "What sort of voice, Geordie?" "Labour Party." "The Labour Party told you to set fire to your bed?" "Why do you think the Labour Party would do that?" "But I think that's why they lost the election again, cos they tell people to do daft things and they chuck you out of your house if you don't pay the rent, and they want to seize the power, but they can't." "Were you ever a member of the Labour Party?" "Would that prove I was mental?" "Was this the first time you'd ever set a fire?" "When I was a lad, I set fire to a factory." "Did this factory have people in it, things in it?" "No." "It was derelict." "And why did you do that?" " To watch the fire bobbies." " The...?" "Fire bobbies." "Fire brigade." "Were you..." "Were you doing this alone?" "Me and Nicky." "Well...he ran away, actually, before they came." "It was just a little fire." "In a bin." "Have there been other times when you've set fires?" "A gang of us set fire to this guy once." "When was this, Geordie?" "Bonfire night." "Geordie, what do you think you would do if a voice suggested to you again that you should set a fire?" "Take no notice, not do it." " Why?" " Eh?" "I'm asking you why." "You say you would ignore the voices." "Why?" "Why did you give me that answer?" "She told us to." "George Peacock, I have listened carefully to the psychiatric evidence." "It is clear that you have no clinical illness, but it is equally clear that you are a menace to your fellow citizens." "I have decided, therefore, that the best course will be a merciful sentence of life imprisonment." "Look, when you get back on the wing, get yourself something to steady your nerves." "You've had a bit of a shock." "I didn't know you could get life for setting fire to a mattress." "Hi." "Hi, Eddie." "What's wrong?" "I have decided to retire, as gracefully as I can, being 65." "You're bailing out cos Butler stuffed you up the arse." "What are you telling the party?" "III health." "Anyway, it means a by-election, and I came to suggest to your infinitely better half that she can have an easy seat since it's clear she had no stomach for a fight with Claudia Seabrook last time," "but she doesn't want my seat either." " What?" "You're saying no?" " Yes." "Why?" "Because I need to concentrate on other things." ""Concentrate on other things." Well, there you go." "Have to make what we can of that, but I'll tell you what people will say in London." "They'll say, "She doesn't fancy five years on the opposition back benches." " She's a careerist."" " Eddie, I have tried to explain." "Think it suited me to stand for parliament?" "I stood because I was sick to the back teeth of what was going on, and I wanted to change it." "What exactly have you changed, Eddie?" "The party's picked up its bags and moved 12 paces to the right." "Why?" "So it can be in the middle ground." "The middle of what?" "That's not what she's saying." "She's saying, "When I'm sure the party will be in power, I'll jump on the bandwagon."" "I didn't say that!" "I said, "Not now." "No, thank you." "That's all!"" "Don't I have a right to think about myself now and again?" "I'm not talking about elections or parties, I'm talking about me!" "Me!" "Sorry." "Sorry, Mary." "I'd...better be on my way." "Why does it matter to you so much?" "It matters because, in 10 years' time, you could be leader of the Labour Party." "I've made my decision." "Sober logic, never his strong point." "I'm going to have a bath." "Eddie remained loyal to the party even when it expelled him." "He may not be sober or logical, but he's steadfast." "Who exactly are you to criticise loyalty in others, eh?" "You've stood by and watched me drown in the problems of this job and you've given me nothing." "Why?" "Stop walking away from me." "Nicky!" "Please don't walk away from me!" "If you're going to walk, then walk." "Keep walking!" "Just keep walking!" "What does that mean?" "How do they feel?" "How do they feel?" "Hi." "Long time no see." "Nicky, what are..." "What are you doing here?" "I was just passing." " This is my local." " Yeah." "I remember you saying once." "Um...this is Nicky Hutchinson." "I read your book about Salvador." "Fantastic!" " This is Andrew." " Hi." "Andrew." "Thanks." " So, how are you?" " I'm fine." "How are you?" "OK." "Good." "Do you fancy dinner by any chance?" "Oh, no." "Andrew and I, we're going to the pictures." "Ah." " You finish the dissertation?" " I decided to do something else." "Can I get you another?" " I'll go, then, shall I?" " Yes, please." "The stock market has never had a worse day." "£50 billion has been wiped off the value of shares and there's been panic selling on Wall Street and around the world." "It's all my fault." "It's all my fault." "There's been chaos and near panic in the world's major stock markets." "It's all my fault." "Terry..." " What?" " It's all my fault." "Before trading even started, share prices had..." "We'll just have to start again." "How can they let people lose everything?" "It doesn't matter." "But how can they?" "It doesn't matter." "It's gone." "What are we going to do?" "You're going to have to learn to pull pints of beer." "We're going to sell this house," "..scrape together everything we've got... ..and buy a couple of pubs." "Karaoke." "I can do it." "We'll do it together this time, eh?" "Yeah." "Hello?" "Alan Roe." "Earlier on today, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way." "Well, if you're watching, don't worry." "There isn't." "Bye, Jack." "Good night, Mr Wells." "I thought it was about time we talked." "♪ Always look on the bright side of life" "♪ Always look on the bright side of life" "Taxi!" "Bloody hell!" "♪ And it's hi-ho, silver lining" "♪ Everywhere you go..." "Oh, no!" "You need to sit down." "Why don't you like me any more?" "Why don't you like yourself any more?" " I love to hear the wind at night." " Yeah." "Especially after a curry." "Why couldn't you allow us to be happy?" "Say something, please!" "Nicky..." " Nicky..." " Because I'm useless." "♪ Underneath your dreamlit eyes" "♪ Shades of sleep have driven you away" "♪ The moon is pale outside" "♪ And you are far from here" "♪ Breathing shifts your careless head" "♪ Untroubled by the chaos of our lives" "♪ Another day, another night" "♪ Has taken you again my dear" "♪ And you know that I'm gonna be the one" "♪ Who'll be there" "♪ When you need someone to depend upon" "♪ When tomorrow comes" "♪ Wait until tomorrow comes, yeah, yeah" "♪ When tomorrow comes" "♪ Wait until tomorrow comes, yeah, yeah" "♪ When tomorrow comes..."