"(theme music playing)" "(thunder rumbling)" "(thunder crashes)" "(lock beeps)" "(whispering indistinctly)" "(knock on door)" " Samuel?" " Yes, dear." "What a mess, my God." "No fun driving in it either." "No, it is not." "You know, you look like your photos." "How nice to finally meet you." "You, too." "You, too." "Would you like a drink?" "No, thanks." "I'm good, actually." "Okay." "Well, I'm gonna have another." "I'm not gonna lie, Samuel, it's kind of like" "I sort of feel like a celebrity is in the room." "Ah, it ain't all that." "No, I know." "It's just... we've been corresponding so long." "A lot of folks feel that way." "It's not unusual to feel that way." "You mind if I go change?" "No, please do." "And in the meantime, put this on." "Samuel:" "Damn it!" "Should have known a place like this wouldn't have a DVD player." " Shit!" " Oh, it's okay." "I've already seen them." "All 11 of them, and I've watched them a lot." "Well, I have a whole different set of tapes for tonight." "Tapes you've never seen before." "Why don't you call the front desk and see if we can get a DVD player going while I go change?" "Good idea." "(door closes)" "Hello?" "Yes, can I get a DVD player in room 104?" "Thank you." "(door opens)" "Are you okay?" "Yeah, she says she'll be here in two minutes." "Good." "In the meantime..." "Oh." "What's this?" "It's important that neither practitioner or participant be wearing any synthetic fibers." "Of course." "That makes sense." "And just... make sure you're not wearing any, uh... elastics or plastics on your undergarments." "Thank you." "Of course." "Of course." "(door closes)" "Everything okay?" "Fine." "Fine." "Out in a minute." "(toilet flushes)" "So, how long are you gonna be here in town?" "Hitting the road after this." " Only came to see you." " You did?" "Sooner or later, I get recognized, so I can't stay in the same place for too long." "Sure, sure." "(knock on door)" "Wait." "My sacred robes." "(thunder rumbles)" " You called about a DVD player?" " Yes." " (music playing)" " Here we go." "If you're watching this tape, if you've arrived here, congratulations." "We are kindred spirits on this plane!" "You are gazing into the eyes of your father." "And I am gazing into the eyes of my child." "Here you sit at a crossroads." "To your left lies a door." "Beyond it lies something wonderful, but something also... challenging." "It's what you've been working towards since you first began our program." "To the right lies the ordinary world with its pleasures and pains." "It is an illusion with which you are well-acquainted." "Departure from this world means a departure from all of its strange comforts... friends, family, strawberry ice cream." "Those who walk left, who dare to open that door, leave these comforts behind." "This is the moment for you to reflect, to decide whether or not you want to enter into the next realm, into the unknown." "(shuddering breath)" "Samuel:" "So, this is it." "I cannot stop partway through the procedure." "You ready?" "Absolutely." "Good." "What?" "The money." "Oh." "Yes, sorry." "(chuckles) I forgot." "I hate money." "I hate that I have to ask." "But if you wanna spread the word, you need to survive, and that requires money, plain and simple." "Oh, yeah, I get it." "Now remember, I know this is a lot of money, but it is a one-time fee and it will give you lifetime access to all the transcendent centers across the country." "And if you need help transversing the transcendence plane, you will have access to any of Father's guides at any time." " Okay?" " Sure." "Samuel:" "Here we go." "If you're watching this tape, you decided to proceed." "Before you can transcend, we must isolate and extract any nefarious agents impeding your transition." "This is of utmost importance." "As the operator goes through a series of pressure gestures, it is crucial that you focus on the music you hear." "(note plays)" "Participant, please close your eyes." "(music continues)" "It's very late in the day." "You're walking through the woods towards a very large redwood tree." "(inhales deeply) You can smell the wet moss and mildew in the thick, cool air, feel grass and pine needles crunching underfoot." "Crunch, crunch." "To your left and right are perfectly round pools of water, and at the bottom of each of these pools of water is a round glass window, and through these windows, you see things from the past." "In one... the house that you grew up in... the first person you ever kissed... a cartoon snake getting hit in the head with a mallet." "Inhale!" "Exhale!" "Keep walking." "The tree looms larger now, its dark green pine needles swaying ever so gently in the breeze even as the sun drops even further and the forest grows that much darker." "Still, you can catch things from the past... the laughter of your mother, a bottle of your father's favorite cologne." "Smell it." "Inhale." "Exhale." "Crunch." "Crunch." " Crunch." " (note plays)" " (thunder rumbles)" " You stand before the tree now." "You take another step towards it, and your left foot hits something wet." "You look down, and there's a puddle before the tree." "The only way to this tree is to wade through this puddle." "So you step into it." "The water is up to your ankles." "You take another step, and the bottom drops out from beneath you." "You're swallowed up entirely by black water." "Black!" "And then there's a glow." "The last window, a perfectly round glass window." "You swim up to it." "You put your eyeball up to the window." "You look into it, and it's you." "Now... what are you doing?" "I'm home." "I'm doing dishes." "I hear my mom come home from work, and she slams the door." "So hard, it makes the windows rattle." "She walks into the kitchen and says," ""You gettin' water all over the place,"" "and she cracks me right in the back of the head real hard." "Are you sure it was your mother?" "Mm-hmm, it was her." "She buys me a "MAD" magazine that night, apologizes." "She feels sorry about it for weeks." "Okay." "Back away from that memory, back into the blackness." "There's a different window." "I'm in the cafeteria." "I sit down and there's a group of my friends." "They're all talking about starting this babysitting club." "I get excited and I say, "Can I join?"" "And Tammy looks at me and says, "No, you can't join." "You live on the wrong side of town."" "And my feelings got real hurt, so I just sat there and kept eating in silence." " I..." " Good." "Good." "Now go back and look for a different window." "(thunder rumbles)" "Look at it closely." "Is it really a dog, or is it something else?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's just a dog." "Okay, then." "It's not working, is it?" "Look hard." "Tell me, do you see anything supernatural?" "Is there something in your past that you can't logically explain, like ghosts or the bogeyman or something?" "Well, sort of." "There's this one time when I kind of got hurt... or not hurt but kind of messed around with by a magician." "Okay, good." "Tell me about that." "I'm at school, and the bell's just rung, and I'm walking home." "Are you alone?" "No." "No, my friend Herman's with me." "He's walking alongside me and he says, "Debbie, come with me into the woods." "I'm gonna show you the knockando bird."" " What's a knockando bird?" " That's what I asked Herman." "And he says it's this funny little bird that mushes its feathers up on its head like a little top hat." "And I say, "No way, I don't believe you."" "And he says, "Well, then, come with me and I'll show you." "It's just right back there in the woods a little bit."" "Did you go with him?" "Yeah." "We walk over this little bridge made of plywood, and there's a little shack right there on the other side." "And there's all these little holes drilled in it down low, perfect little holes." "And Herman says, "Right there." "Those are knockando holes." "That's where they come out."" "And something feels off." "There's flies buzzing all around and something that smells kind of like... rotten eggs." "I wanna turn back." "But Herman says..." ""We walked all the way out here." "It'll just take one second for me to flush out one of these birds." "Believe me, it's like nothing you never seen."" "So he goes right inside and starts banging on the wall and saying, "Come close, Debbie." "One of 'em's about to fly out."" "I can see something moving around inside." "And right through one of those holes... pops Herman's little penis." "Just like that, pop." "And he's saying, "Knockando, knockando." "Give it a tickle."" "But my mom, she didn't want any boys fooling around with me like that, and she told me," ""Any boy ever take his pecker out around you, you just hit it," so without even thinking," "I pick up a rock, and I just smashed his pecker!" "(thunder rumbles)" "He screams." "He screams bloody murder." "And I just go running back the way we came." "I never run so fast in my entire life." "So I go to school, and I see Herman." "And I'm like, "Are you okay?"" "And a big old smile on his face, he says," ""Yep, you smashed me good." "But the pink doctor came and fixed me up." "He made it even better than it was before." "It's bigger."" "(thunder rumbles)" "Herman says, "Ooh, Debbie." "That pink doctor's so mad at you, he said if you don't go and see him today, he's gonna go and tell your mom." "You better go see the doctor."" "So, after school, even though I'm nervous," "I slip back through the fence and find the little shack." "Something feels off." "Seriously off." "It's almost like the air had a... kind of like a buzz in it, an electrical buzz." "I could hear it." "And there's this white man sitting there in a doctor's coat." "And I say, "Are you the pink doctor?"" "And he says, "No." "I ain't any kind of doctor." "I'm just a magician named John Knockando." ""Do you wanna see one of my tricks?"" ""No," I say." "And when I turn around, he's got his arms stiff down at his sides and he's floating, like, five or six inches off the ground." "You wanna know what's maybe the strangest part about it all?" "It's that that afternoon, I become a woman." "I start bleeding on the way home." "It was the first time that ever happened to me." "Oh, my God." "I haven't thought about any of that since I was a little girl." "Transcendence is magnificent, isn't it?" "Yeah, but... am I there?" "I don't feel any different?" "Well, I-it's a powerful process." "It might take a minute to, um, kick in." "Excuse me." " (thunder crashes) - (door closes)" "(toilet flushes)" "Samuel, tell me the truth." "I knew from our correspondence that you were a powerful soul with something blocking your path." "For you to fully transcend, we must go forward." "We must remove the final blockage." "Do you understand?" "Here's what I think you encountered when you were a little girl." "Father has encountered lots of incomplete entities like this." "They tried to stop him from transcendence several times, but each time, Father has to purge them before he can ascend to the next level." " Does that make sense?" " No." "I'm sorry, Samuel, but not really." "I mean, nothing like this is in any of the texts." "I know, this, uh... this is something that Father... it's stuff he doesn't like to talk about." "Not a lot people encounter this type of thing, Deborah." "Let me just..." " (music playing)" " If you're watching this tape, you're of a select minority." "There are certain people that are able to transcend more than others." "There's a good side to this and a bad side." "The bad side is that there are certain elements, incomplete entities that seek to block your transcendence and to keep you on this plane." "Why?" "Sadly, nobody knows." "And always, I've had to rid my body of the blockage impeding my further transcendence by undergoing a simple procedure." "When an incomplete entity plants blockage in a person, it remains in physical form high in said person's nasal cavity where it sends out a signal exerting control over and weakening the pineal gland." "However, the blockage is nothing more than a fluid-filled sac that can easily be popped by any administrator using a simple tool." "While uncomfortable, the procedure is painless and brief." "(zipper unzips)" "I did this exact same procedure to Father." "You know, I don't know if I wanna do all of that." "We've already begun the procedure." "You have to go all the way through." " You agreed to it." " Yeah, but I didn't know it would, uh, entail all of this." "What did you think it would entail?" "Just pressure and tones, what we were doing." "For most, yeah, that's enough." "But when you have a blockage, it must be drained." "I just... maybe if you were a doctor or something, but I don't want that thing up my nose." "(exhales)" "I'm gonna say two things." "One... the reason we tell you you have to continue the process is if you stop partway through, it could damage your soul." "I'm talking the type of boo-boo that could take lifetimes to heal." "Two... after the procedure, the procedure that does not hurt at all, you will be amongst the most powerful to ever transcend." "In fact..." "I'm a little jealous of you." "(chuckles softly)" "It doesn't hurt?" "I already told you, no." "Don't you feel something stuck in there?" "Something blocking... that's... holding your thoughts, stuffing your breath?" "I mean... yeah, of course, but..." "You feel that way because that thing, the pink doctor, or knockando," " or whatever you call it..." " (thunder crashes) ...it's circling inside of you." "But you don't have to feel that way." "You don't have to feel that way at all!" "You are about to transcend, dear." "(sighs)" "Are you ready?" "Or not?" "Yes." "I'm ready." "(thunder crashing)" "Now, it ain't all that roomy in your nasal cavity, so you're gonna feel a little tightness as I work my way up towards the blockage." "But once I pass the bridge of your nose, you'll feel a little pinch, but that's about it, okay?" "Okay." " (thunder crashing)" " Here we go." "Get it in there." " Come on." " (whimpering)" "(note plays)" "(note plays)" "(Deborah sobbing)" " That feel good?" " (note plays)" "(sobbing continues)" "Come on, bitch!" "Take it, you fucking cunt!" "Smile!" " (Deborah crying out)" " Inhale." "Exhale." "(screams)" "Knockando!" "(screams)" " I'm gonna rip it off!" " Let go of it!" " Deborah:" "Smash it!" " No!" " Deborah:" "Knockando!" " (wails)" "(music playing)" "♪ I felt my soul rise up from my body ♪" "♪ When I look into your blue eyes ♪" "♪ If cosmic force is real at all ♪" "♪ It's come between you and I ♪" "♪ I want to be naked ♪" "♪ I don't mean my body ♪" "♪ I'm floating away ♪" "♪ I'm floating away. ♪"