"I remember when Roy brought Irma home." "He took me aside and said, "Mama, I think this is the one."" "I wanted him to stay and run the farm." "But he said no, he'd rather be dead." " Dad, time for the toast." " I'm telling a story." "I got so mad, I hauled off and popped him one." "Gave him a shiner on his wedding day." "Let's get Roy and Irma up here!" "Where are they?" "Come on, let's go, before they enter their 26th!" " Are we all here?" " Yeah, we are!" "I remember when Roy and Irma first joined our congregation." "What was it, 21 years ago?" "They had more energy and more goodwill toward each other... than any couple I ever knew." "The goodwill is still there." "I don't know about the energy." "I remember their first pancake breakfast." "Roy at the griddle, Irma right behind him with the batter." "As soon as he'd scoop up one pancake, she'd plop down another one." "Never a cross word between them." "In fact, the more pressure that was on them... the more they seemed to enjoy each other." "I don't know of any other couple in our congregation... or in this town, for that matter... more devoted to each other... more in love than Roy and Irma." "I'm grateful to have them with us... because we're all beneficiaries of that partnership." "Happy anniversary." "Get an ambulance." "Is he drunk?" "Dear God... help this couple find the wisdom to work out their differences... and rekindle the joy of their marriage." "Shed your light upon them, so that they may continue to grow and flourish... in the love that they have for you and for each other." "Amen." "Roy, I heard what happened the other night." "Are you all right?" " I'm fine." "It was nothing." " Scared me half to death." "We took him to the hospital, but everything turned out okay." "Thank goodness." "I think it has something to do with the headaches." "I mean, he's been getting terrible, terrible headaches." " Have you seen a doctor about this?" " Every one in the phone book." " He's had a CAT scan." " Insurance will cut me loose." " Did they find anything?" " No." "I think it's..." "His doctor seems to think it's stress." "Has your work been stressful?" "There's some pressure on me." "Honey, there's a lot of pressure on you." "No more than usual." "He used to have to handle just the tractors." "But now, he has to take care of everything... from the cultivators to the combines..." "Yikes!" "So you could say that maybe these headaches are work-related." "They could be." "Is there anything else in your life that's been bothering you?" "You can always find something." "Honey, I think there's been some... strain between us lately." "Sure, there's been some strain." "Are you having any problems with... intimacy?" "Not really." "We haven't had much intimacy lately." "Because of the headaches?" "Yes." "Would you like to talk to me alone?" "Whatever it is, just get it out, honey." "I don't even have to know what it is." "I mean, just talk it out with him, okay?" "Please?" "Irma, if you want, you can wait in the chapel." "No, I'd like Irma to stay." "Better still." "Tell us what's on your mind, Roy." "I've been... struggling with something for a long time." "I prayed for years for it to go away." "But it won't." "Go on." "I was born in the wrong body." "I'm a woman." "I've known it all my life." "Oh, my gosh, Roy." "Good grief, Roy..." "I don't know what to say." "I don't either, except..." "I love Irma very much." "The last thing I want to do is cause her any pain." " Roy, are you having an affair?" " No, Irma." "But this doesn't make any sense." "Roy, I have to agree." "I mean, you've been married to Irma for 25 years." "You have two wonderful children, and suddenly, out of nowhere... you make this strange declaration?" "It's not out of nowhere." "I've been hiding it for years." "It's been an agony." "I can't go on living my life like this." "I'd rather die." "Oh, my God, do you mean that?" "Yes." "Before you jump to any more conclusions about yourself... what exactly appeals to you about being a woman?" "What appeals to you about being a man?" "Many things." "Beginning with the fact that this is the form God chose for me." "But I believe that God meant for me to be something else." " Meaning?" " Meaning I'd like to... have the operation... to change my sex." "Oh, my God, Roy." "Obviously, this is a lot for us to comprehend, Roy." "You know, I'd like to go home." "I think this would be a good point to stop." "Obviously, I wasn't prepared for this." "If you two could give me a few days to do some research, think this over..." "Roy, I'm not exactly sure... how I'm going to counsel you at this point, but I promise I'm not giving up." "I just want to be sure that... you'll still accept me as a member of the congregation." "Heck, you're the only fellow I can get... to nail together the nativity every year." "You think I'll let you go that easy?" "What?" "What did I do?" "Nothing, honey." "Then someone talk." "How was school?" "Don't talk to me, talk to each other." "Your dad and I both had a long day... and we just don't feel like talking." "Talk anyway." "Finish your peas." "Irma, we couldn't go on the way things were." "Look at how unhappy I've made you." "I'm not unhappy." "There's been a strain between us for years." " This is supposed to make it better?" " I'm hoping so." "Yes." "Did you feel this way when you met me?" "I suspected it, yes." "Then what in heaven's name were you thinking of on our wedding day?" " That you were the one for me." " Meaning what?" "Meaning that I loved you, I love you." "When we're in bed... are you a man or are you a woman?" " I make love to you as myself." " But are you a man, or are you a woman?" "Sometimes, I imagine I have a different body." "Not always." "Sometimes, the female part takes over." "I have some books you could read." "Books?" "About my condition." "About the operation." "You mean, you expect us to go on living together after you do this thing?" "If you'll have me." "Frankly, honey, there's no way you're a woman." "Only a man could be this selfish." " Mom?" " What is it, Patty?" " Could you come out here for a minute?" " Is it something important?" "Yes." "What is it?" "Mom, it happened." "Just a minute." " You all right, Patty?" " It's nothing." " You want me to show you how to..." " No!" "Is she all right?" "She got her period." "Poor kid." "She sounded so scared." "You are not to breathe a word to her about any of this." "Do you understand?" "She has to know about me at some point." "No, I won't allow you to do this." " There's a way to handle it properly." " No!" " Absolutely not!" " Irma, it's not going to go away." "Get out!" "Get out of my bedroom!" " I'll sleep on the couch." " No, I don't want you in this house." "All right." "If this is only a separation, why are you throwing out all of Dad's stuff?" "Is that what you're wearing to school?" "Go change your clothes." "Why?" "Don't argue, just do it." "How you doing, Roy?" " Morning, Roy." " Morning, Bob." "Another goddamn day." "Not a damn thing we can do about it, either." "See you later." "So, I talked to a pastor in Akron." "He was counselling a married couple... and the husband said that he was a homosexual." "He was able to persuade the husband not to act on his inclinations... and he saved the marriage." " Sounds hopeful." " I'm feeling very hopeful about this." "Now, what this pastor did... he referred this couple to a chapter in the Bible... which I think very elegantly supports our case." "Did you bring your Bible?" "No, I'm sorry." "No problem." "You can look on with me." "Ephesians, Chapter 5, Verse 28." ""So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies." ""He that loveth his wife loveth himself." ""For no man ever yet hated his own flesh."" ""For no man ever yet hated his own flesh."" "Bingo!" "In other words, men couple with women to bring out the female side of their nature." "And the mistake that Roy's making... is he's looking to himself for that balance, instead of to you." "I see." "We need to just make Roy realize that you're all the woman he needs." "He doesn't have to make himself into a woman... parade around in dresses and such." "Heck, that's just plain egotistical of him, to think that he can do it all." "Men need women for completion." "Why do you think we call our wives our better halves?" "Roy has always felt overly responsible for things." "He used to come home from work... do a couple of hours of chores, and then stay up till midnight paying bills." "No wonder he gets these terrible headaches." "That's why I decided to take over doing the taxes." "Irma, let me ask you something." "And this may just be a stab in the dark." "Do you think you might have unknowingly added to his confusion?" "I don't know what you mean." "Please understand, I'm not questioning your love for Roy in any way." "It's just that you're a very strong-willed person... and I'm just wondering if you often take the upper hand with Roy." "Do you mean... have I emasculated him?" "I haven't made myself clear." "Forgive me." "Gosh!" "I think it's a problem that every modern couple is having right now." "Who's the head of the household?" "Is it the one who brings home the biggest pay check?" "Heck, I'm not going to win on that one." "Not with what I make on a pastor's salary." "But I don't work." "I know that." "From what I've observed, you've been a very good wife." "I don't know what I'm doing wrong." "I don't know either, Irma, but we'll figure it out." "I keep smelling this goddamn perfume." "Where the hell is it coming from?" "I think it's Roy over there." "Roy, you dog, have you been stepping out on your wife?" " No." " Hey, I'm not saying a word." "I love Irma dearly, I'd never do that to her." "If you say so." " I do say so." " Buddy, there's no judgment here." "Whoever the new lady is, I say enjoy it." " I wish I could trade my wife in." " You want mine?" "She still has a few good miles left." "I'm looking for a newer model." "So what year's your new model, Roy?" " I'm not stepping out on Irma." " If you say so." "The perfume's mine." " I put it on this morning." " What on earth for?" "I like it." "I'd never cheat on Irma." "Never in a million years." "Don't ever say that to me again." "What the hell?" " Did you find an apartment?" " Yes." "What's it like?" "It's small." "One room, kitchenette." "Does it get any sun?" "No, but there are things I can do to cheer it up." "What kind of life is this going to be for you, Roy?" "I don't know." "But I hope you'll still be part of it." " Are these ready to sign?" " Yeah." "You won't be able to claim..." "Patty Ann as a dependent." "I don't see why not, if I'm paying support." "But you won't be her father." "I'll be her parent, who still loves her and cares for her." "I sent a letter to Wayne." "Are you out of your mind?" "He's my son, and he has a right to know what's what." "Not this!" "It had to be done, whether you like it or not." "And it's been done." "What if I told you I wouldn't allow you to see Patty Ann anymore?" "What if?" "It would break my heart... more than you could know." "But you'd still do it?" "The postage is all there." "Just drop it in the mailbox, okay?" "Let's hear it." "It might seem a little funny, but it hurts." "I got one." "I just got this from my dad." "Get ready to be fucked up." ""Dear Wayne, I'm writing to you at a frightening..." ""and also very exciting crossroads in my life."" "You guys have to understand the person who wrote this." "This man..." "Remember "man." My pop." "He's from the corn belt, okay?" "Self-expression and communication, it's not part of his wiring." "He can't even talk to me on the phone without a conversational cue sheet." ""Hey, Wayne, how's your van doing?" "Is the clutch still jamming?" ""What's that band you're working for, Wayne?" ""No, I've never heard of them."" "Everybody's heard of them." "Then I read this letter... and I'm wondering if it's some bizarre joke someone's playing on me." "But no, I know for a fact that this is from my pop." "He's the only person I know that would write a personal letter... on his fucking business stationery." "And then listen:" ""I don't know how to express this other than in a letter." ""I'm having a surgery next year to correct a condition known as gender dysphoria." ""In other words, I'm a woman born in a man's body." ""I'll be getting a sex change." ""I hope you understand..." ""that I'd like to find some peace and happiness in my life." ""I'm still your parent, no matter what." ""I will care deeply about you until the end of my days." ""I love you." "Dad."" "What kind of shit is that?" ""I love you." "Dad."" "Hi, guys." "There she goes." "Hey, Roy." " Come on in." " Thanks for seeing me, Frank." " Sure, have a seat." " Thank you." "I know word has gotten to you about the perfume." "If I believed half of what got said around here..." "Don't give it another thought." "Well, the fact is, it's true." "And I apologize." "I meant to organize things better." " I should have talked to you..." " I'm not sure I'm catching your drift." "Well, I have this condition." "I'm a female born in a man's body... and I have to do something about it." "Which is why I'm starting to take hormones in a couple of weeks... and sometime next year, I'm going to have the surgery." "Just so as you know, I'm going to start dressing as a woman... bit by bit, and I'll do it gradually... so as not to disrupt the work here." "I know this is a lot to take in... so I brought you this." "It's useful, I think." "It explains my condition... and how to talk about it... with the other workers... and how to handle when I change my name... and restroom reassignments, and so forth." "That's good." "Does Irma know about this?" "Yeah." "What did she say?" "She asked me to leave, which I understand." "She asked me to leave, which I understand." " She's got a lot to figure out." " I can imagine." "I know you're going to have to decide whether to keep me on." "I won't deny that you've put an awful lot on my plate here." "I just want to say that whatever you decide..." "I understand." "Thank you, Roy." "Thanks for being so forthright with me." "Thank you for letting me get this out." " Hi, Irma." "How are you?" " Frank!" "Oh, my God." " Come in." " Thanks." "I guess Roy told you." "Yeah, he sure did." "Is he getting help, Irma?" "We've been to counselling... but nothing will change his mind." "You see, he's determined to go through with this." "We both know Roy is not the type to act on a whim." "No, he isn't." "Are you going to fire him?" "Well, this is the thing." "Roy works with a pretty meat-and-potatoes kind of crew." "I'd be happy to keep an eye on him." "The truth is, as soon as I turn my back, they'll take him... and beat the crap out of him." "I'm sorry, Irma, I really don't know what else to do." "No, I understand." "How are you fixed for money?" "The insurance won't cover his treatment... so it's going to take out a big bite." "I've started looking for work myself." "You know, who knows what Roy is going to get once he... switches permanently." "I hear you." "Here's what." "Roy is due for a promotion in another year." "What if I just hurried him up the ladder a little bit... if I found a desk job for him?" "You think?" "You're a good man, Frank." "Tell that to my wife." "Oh, no, she didn't leave you again?" "We were getting along just fine there for a while." "She goes off her medication." "Not much I can do about that." "I'm sorry, you don't deserve that." "Well, that's the way it goes." "It didn't do it for me." "You?" "No." "Well, it was something to try." "Thanks for the coffee, Irma." "Thank you, Frank, for standing behind Roy." " He's the best we have." " Yes, he is." "All right, you take care of yourself now." "I'll take these, too." "Take those goddamn things off." "Mind your own goddamn business." "Give them to me." "Hey, what's going on?" "Give me them." "Give them to me." "Get him off!" "Let go of him!" "Christ!" "It's just a shitty pair of earrings." "Freak." "You were asking for that." " Just be glad he's not dancing." " Move!" "To hear the lark as he's taking flight" "As he soars into the sky" "If you listen close, you can hear him now" "And he soars across the valleys" "And he lives in open plains" "And he lives right here inside your heart" "As he lives in everything" "And he lives right here inside your heart" "As he lives in everything" "As he soars into the sky" "If you listen close" "You will hear him there" "As he lives in everything" "As he lives in open valleys" "Stop." "Guys, sit down." "Girls, I don't like what I'm hearing." "Please." "Pay attention to the dynamics." "As he lives in open valleys" "As he soars across the plains" "And he lives right here inside your heart" "As he lives in everything" "As he lives in everything" "I've brought your mail." "Thanks." "What happened to your forehead?" "I wore some earrings to work." "That wasn't too smart." "Made me feel pretty." "Do you want an aspirin?" "Yeah, I could use one." " You want to get in the truck?" " No." "I'm fine here." "There's a letter from your mother." "I'm out of the choir, by the way." "Sorry to hear that, Roy." "You would've made a fine soprano." "What does it say?" ""Dear Roy, I got your letter today." ""As you know..." ""your father has been on a long, slow decline." ""He's had a hard life, and I want him..." ""to be able to spend the time he has left in peace." ""So I've decided not to show him your letter." ""By the way, we're having your father's birthday celebration on Saturday." ""I'm serving supper at 3:00." "Tell Irma to bring her beans."" "I forgot all about it." "Do you want to go?" "It's probably the last time you're going to see him." "Hello, folks!" "Glad to see you two talking." "Listen, not to disturb you, I just wanted to give you these." "I went online and found an excellent site on gender issues." "It's Baptist-based, but the general principles are still the same." "Here you go." "I made copies for each of you." "And I just want to say again how sorry I am about this whole business with the choir." "Irma, as I told Roy, if it was just up to me..." "But..." "I'm still in the ring with you two." "Roy, we need to make an appointment." " We'll see." " Well, good night, folks." "Here." "Irma, it's cold." "You want to get in the truck?" " Roy." " Yeah?" "I keep trying to figure out... what I've done wrong." "You haven't done anything wrong." "Then don't do this." "Oh, honey." "I have been sharing a bed with you... for 25 years." "I know your body." "I know your smell." "You're a man." "That's what you are." "Don't try telling me that you're something else." "But I am." "No!" "There you are." "Why won't you let me touch you?" "Because it doesn't feel like part of me." "I'm just trying to explain what it's like for me." "I have to get home to Patty." " We have to sit down and talk to her." " Let's get through the weekend." "We'll see you on Saturday." "Clean up them plugs." " You got a brand-new tractor." " Needs a tune-up." " Hey, Roy." " Hey, Don." " Hey, Irma." " Hi, Don." "Hi, Aunt Becky." " Hello, Gary." "Hi, Mike." " Hello." " Here they are." "How are you?" " Hi." " Hi, sweetie." " Here she is." "Come on in, honey." "Let me take those things." "There you go." "Here, I'll take those." "Happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday, dear Dad" "Happy birthday to you" "Blow out the candles, Roy." "It's chocolate." "I didn't want chocolate." "That's what you asked for." " No, I didn't." " Honey, you did." " I did not, godammit it!" " Yes, you did, Dad." "I heard you say it." "What do you know about cakes?" "Never seen you bake one before." " Roy, leave Becky alone." " She needs to leave me alone." "She can't wait till I die, so she can have the farm." "My son hasn't got the spine to fight her for it." "Dad, I don't want the farm." "Don't get me started on you." "I had to go through all these girls to get you... and you turn out to be a hopeless case, moping around like a sissy." "I didn't mope around." "You didn't give me time to mope around." "That's right." "If I hadn't straightened you out, you'd still be a big cry-baby." "Did I ever tell you about the time I caught him in his sister's clothes?" "I made him strip down and spend the night in the barn, naked." " Blow out the candles!" " Come on, make a wish for yourself." "Good Christ, is he crying?" "Roy, the candles are about to melt all over the cake." "Come over and help your grandpa blow out the candles." "See, the cake looks delicious." "Did you make it yourself?" "No, it's from a mix, but I added an extra egg to make it moist." "I always add another egg." "Where's she going?" "I'm thinking about switching over to narrow-row corn." "Yeah, I think it's a good idea." " Where the hell is he going?" " Leave him be." "Irma, do you want some cake?" "No." "I think I'll wait a while." "I'm going to start on the dishes." "Patty Ann, why don't you come in the kitchen and help me?" " Mom, it just looks fabulous." " Thanks." "You both better be ready." "I'm ready to kill some fishes." "Got my name on them." " You seen Roy?" " No, haven't seen him." "I haven't seen him, Irma." "Honey, just wait here, okay?" "I'll see if I can find your dad." "Come here, sweetie." "Tell your uncle some lies." "You got more food in there for me?" " It's empty." " Empty?" "Go get me some take-home." "Put the gun down, Roy." "Please." "I think for now you should come home." "Are you going to grow your hair out?" "Yes." " Will you be just as tall?" " Yes." " Is your voice going to change?" " No." "So what will you do?" "Will you speak higher?" "I suppose so." "Do it." "How big are your boobs supposed to get?" "Well, my doctor says they're going to be... one or two cups smaller than my mother's, your grandma Em's." "My God!" "Her breasts are huge." "Are you going to shave your legs?" "And under your arms?" " What about your bikini line?" " My bikini line?" "So your pubes don't show when you wear a swimsuit." "What about your beard?" "Will that go away, too?" "No, I've got to have that removed with electrolysis." " That's supposed to be really painful." " That's what I hear." " Does it scare you?" " No." "Does the operation scare you?" "What about Wayne?" "Does he know about this?" "Well, I wrote him a letter." " Did he write back?" " No, not yet." "You know, Patty, whatever you're feeling..." "I mean, if you're angry at your father or at me... it's completely understandable." "I'm not angry." "I think it's cool." "The kids at school might start saying some real cruel things to you." "So?" "They do anyway." " So does this let me off the hook?" " What do you mean?" "Of having to be the girl of the family." "Patty, you are a girl." "See?" "She's always on my case about it." "I can't do it." "I'm just not that type." "It sucks being a woman." "You'll spend the rest of your life getting shafted." "You'll be out of the club." "Why do you want to give that all up?" "It's easier being a man." "It isn't easier being a man." "Men die first." "That should give you a clue." "And you'll probably start getting zits." "Oh, I see." "What should I do about it?" "There's nothing you can do." "It's hopeless." "Sorry, Dad, but it's hopeless." " Patty Ann, you want some eggs?" " No, they make me nauseous." " Then have some cornflakes." " I don't like the texture." "You're just too precious to live." "This cream is bad." " It's fine." " No, it isn't." " I just got it yesterday." " Smell it." " It smells fine." " It's sour." " Did you check the date?" " Yes, Roy, I checked the date." "Mom, quit making that noise with the toast." " I want you to eat something." " I'm not hungry." "You can't go to school on an empty stomach." " Patty, want some oatmeal?" " No." " I'm making some." " So?" " What are you doing?" " I'm making oatmeal." " Let me do it." "You'll burn the pot." " I'm just boiling water." "Let me do it." "It'll take a minute." " Why are you being so snippy?" " I'm not being snippy." "Yes, you are." "I'm not." "You're the one that's being snippy." " Can I get another ear piercing?" " You're pretty enough as it is." "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Mom." "I was talking to you." "You need to learn some manners, young lady." " You need to learn to leave me alone." " All right, that's it." "Get out." "Go on." "Walk away." "I'm making you oatmeal." " I don't want any." " That's too bad." " What are you looking for?" " Grapefruit." "I thought you were having oatmeal." "I'm having a grapefruit with my oatmeal." "Is there anything wrong with that?" " Let me find it." " Just tell me where it is." "Roy, if you'd please just sit down, I'd have everything ready in..." "Why don't I do the grapefruit?" "And you can do the..." "Don't get annoyed." "I'm just trying to help." "I don't want help." "It would be so much easier if you just sat down and let me do it." "In the time we discussed this..." "I could have made my breakfast and gone to work already." "Here, Dad." "Eat the freaking grapefruit." "That was pleasant." "Your oatmeal, Roy." "Irma, you still there?" "Yes." "I'm going to come out now." "All right." "What do you think?" "What can I say?" "You look like my aunt Norma after her stroke." " Do I look that awful?" " Yeah." "Yes, honey, you do." "I've been going to thrift stores... and grabbing whatever looks right and hope it fits." "This dress is so musty, it makes me itch." "Poor Roy." "I need your help to order some decent stuff." "I folded down the page with things I liked." "All right." "You gave yourself boobs." "What did you use, Kleenex?" "Bubble wrap." "You got the shape all wrong." "So, what am I supposed to be looking at here?" "The blouse." " Oh, no." "It's not right for you." " Why not?" "Well, it's too ruffly." "I mean, it will accentuate your shoulders." "You need something more tailored that'll slim you down." "I don't want to wear anything tailored." "I've been wearing tailored..." "You know, you'll look top heavy." "You've got to work with what you've got." "We all do." "You know..." "I wish I had the legs so I could wear short skirts, but..." " Your legs are beautiful." " No, they're not." " I love your legs." " Don't." "Mom." "Wait a minute, Patty Ann." "Don't come in." "What are you doing?" "Never mind." " Is Daddy in drag?" " No." " Can I see?" " No." "Now, what do you want?" "Tell me if I can wear this shirt without a bra." "Patty Ann, you can't go without a bra." "You're too developed." "Nothing shows." "Where'd you get that?" " It's Dad's." "He said I could have it." " It's too big." "No, it's not." "It's the look." "Well, go take it off, please." "And put your bra back on." "I hate wearing a bra." " It makes marks on my skin." " Then go live in a jungle, honey." "Why did you give her your shirt?" "I thought she could use it." "I don't think it's appropriate." "She's boyish enough as it is." " What if she is?" " Roy, she's going to get hurt." "The kids will tear her apart." "For now, please, just don't encourage it, okay?" " Just let her try to blend in." " All right." "So what else did you want me to look at?" " Never mind." "I know what I'm getting." " What?" "I think you should run it by me first." "We're on a budget." "I'm very aware we're on a budget." "Yeah, well, I don't think you should... go order a bunch of things that don't look good on you." "Thank you, but I don't need you to tell me what I can and can't wear." "Oh, yes, I think you do." "You don't have a clue." "I'm not in love with everything I've seen you in." "I try not to say anything." "Excuse me, you come out here with that horrible wig and make-up... looking like some aging hooker..." "I've been sneaking to thrift shops, for God's sake." "What should I look like?" "Like I came from a garden club?" "Look, Roy... you give me a catalogue, you ask for my opinion... and then get angry when I give it to you." "You weren't just giving an opinion." " You were setting down rules." " Stop." "I don't appreciate these mean, nasty comments you're making." "Just stop." "I had a reaction." "I'm human." "What do you want from me?" "I just want some respect." "I have given you my youth." "I have given you your children." "I have given you my full and undivided attention... for 25 years." "And now, I'm giving up everything... that I believe in... so you can feel complete." "So tell me... what more could you possibly want from me?" "Is that how it feels?" "Yes." "How awful." "No, it's not awful, Roy." "It's what it is." "And if I look at it hard enough... you've done the same for me." "So now... give me the catalogues, because I'm going to pick out your clothes." "In jubilation" "Sing to the Lord" "Come rejoice" "Sing hallelujah" "Come add your voice and sing hallelujah" "Praise his name" "Sing for the Lord" "Sing hallelujah" "For He lights the way" "Rejoice today" "Let your heart sing his love" "Come rejoice" "Sing hallelujah" "Come add your voice and sing hallelujah" "Praise His name" "Sing for the Lord" "Sing hallelujah" "For He lights the way" "Rejoice today" "Let your heart sing his love" "Come rejoice" "Sing hallelujah" "Come add your voice and sing hallelujah" "We're having problems with Roy." "You have to talk to him, Irma." " Why?" "What's going on?" " He's getting bitchy." "It's the hormones." "I understand that, but that's still no excuse." "No, of course not." "The thing about Roy is, he was always such an easy-going guy..." "I mean, now he's just so super-sensitive about everything." "Yeah, I'll talk to him." "Janeane's the same way." "She's always backing me into corners." "I say something, she twists it and turns it into something else." "What am I supposed to do about that?" " Just walk away." " But then she says I'm ignoring her." "My mom's the same way." "So is my sister." "Seems like every woman I know is nuts." "And then I get to know you a little better... and I see there's hope." "I know that Roy and I have a great deal of respect for each other." "And I figure that once he goes through his change, he'll be... moving on to other pastures, I suppose." "Just want to put the idea out there." "Thanks for dropping by." "No, I will have that talk with Roy." " I'd appreciate that." " Okay." " Thanks for the coffee." " You bet, anytime." "Frank came by today." "He's concerned about your attitude at work." "He says you've gotten bitchy." " He used that word?" " Yes, he did." "That's just Frank." "He thinks that all the women in the office are out to get him." "Don't push it with him, Roy." "You're lucky you still have a job." "Do you hear me?" "What are you doing?" "Well, there they are." "I had no idea they were so sensitive." "Now you know." "And it's not just there, it's everywhere." "I feel like whole... armies of nerve endings are budding up all over my skin." "Did I ever kiss you in the crook of your elbow?" "I don't believe so." "I think..." "I finally realized what it would take... to be a proper lover to you." "I'm glad to hear that, Roy." "But it might have been easier for both of us if you had just read a book." " Can I ask you something?" " Yeah." "Are you going to want to be with men?" "No, honey." "You know I don't." "Then, if you're not planning on having intercourse... what do you need a vagina for?" " That's a ridiculous question." " No, it isn't." "I mean, I had babies with mine." "I used it to make love to you." "What on earth are you going to do with yours?" "It's not a matter of what I'm going to do with it." "I'm doing this to make myself complete." "It's a sexual organ, honey." "That's what it's made for." "And as a long-time female, let me tell you..." "I haven't used mine for anything but to take in a penis, okay?" "There are certainly other things you can do with it." "Like what?" "You ever masturbated?" " Well, haven't you?" " Good grief, Roy." "What?" "If you need to have an affair, I understand." "Don't be ridiculous, Roy." "I wouldn't mind." "Really, Irma, I wouldn't mind." "Hello, Frank." "I just want you to know that I have nothing but the greatest respect for you." "Thank you." "I respect you, too." "That means a lot to me." "Okay, then." " That's something." " Yeah." "Right." "I like the feel of your hand." " Roy's are going so soft." " Yeah, I noticed that." "He used to have such strong hands." "That was one of the things I first loved about him." "I liked the feel of his calluses when we held hands." "Janeane makes me buff mine down." "She prefers a smoother hand." "I like a man to have a few rough edges." "Well, that's me." "For a fair-haired guy, my stubble grows in pretty thick." "Yeah, feel." " Roy can grow a pretty good beard." " Really?" "He grew one, one winter." "But then he shaved it off." "Have you figured out what your new name is going to be yet?" "It's going to be Ruth." "Like the Ruth in the Bible, that followed Naomi." " That's a boring name." " Not at all." "Ruth is pure love." "Will Mom have to call you Ruth?" "Once she gets comfortable with it." "Where did she go tonight?" "To the movies, with a friend." "Why was she so dressed up?" "I'm sure she just wanted to make sure she looked nice." " What movie was she going to see?" " I don't know." "I didn't ask." " Why not?" " I just didn't." "Now leave it alone." "I bought you a toothbrush just in case you wanted to spend the night." "Thanks." "You should know... that in my last check-up, I had my blood gone over..." " and I'm clean as a whistle." " Thanks for telling me." "And I brought my own protection." "Janeane can't have kids." "But when we were trying, I had my sperm count tested." "It's pretty high." "But if you brought something, that's fine with me." "I'm going through menopause, Frank." "That's okay." "One less thing to worry about." "Would you like me to undress you?" "Not just yet." "Would you like to undress me?" "I mean, it might help us get into the mood a little more." "Yeah, okay." "Just got back to exercising." "I'll be a lot more fit in a couple of months, I'm sure." "You look fine." "I'm not much to look at." "Yes, you are, Irma." "You're a great-looking gal." "You think maybe that we could turn the lights out first?" "Sure." "Were you able to sleep at all, Roy?" "I didn't really expect to." "I want you to be happy, Irma." "So do I, honey." "This is a cute look." "What do you think?" " What, for you?" " No, for you." "I can't wear pants like that." "They make my butt look big." " Stop, you got nothing there." " Yes, I do." " Honey, can I help you?" " No." "Mom, I'm getting my hair dyed black." " No, you're not." " Why not?" " You'll look like a drug addict." " You could get a streak." "She's not dyeing her hair anything." " You colour your hair." " To cover the gray." "Your hair is fine, you don't need to do anything." "Ruth says she wants to be a redhead." "Patty Ann, you do not call us by our first names ever." " Why not?" " Because it's disrespectful." " Dad, you don't mind, do you?" " Your mother's right, Patty." "Fine." " Mom." " What?" "Dad and I have the same breast size now." "Patty Ann, would you excuse us for a minute?" "Roy, do you think I could talk to you?" " Am I in trouble?" " No, honey." "Were you showing her your breasts?" "She saw them while I was shaving under my arms." "They're just breasts, Irma." "She's seen yours, she's seen her own." "I won't cover up something perfectly natural." ""Natural" is not a word I would use in your case." " What kind of dig is that?" " It wasn't a dig." "It was a fact." "Excuse me, I'm not the only one taking hormones in this house." "You bastard!" "You have no idea what I'm going through!" "If I've been insensitive..." "Insensitive doesn't even begin to describe it, it's grotesque!" " I'm sorry, what more can I say?" " I don't want an apology!" " I want my husband back!" " You can't have him back!" "Why are you doing this to us?" "I'm still here, Irma." "No, God." "It's me." "Look at me." "It's me, I'm still here." "Here we go." "We sure do miss you at church, Irma." "Well, I miss church, too." "Everyone's been asking after you." "The tremendous sympathy people are feeling for you and Patty Ann." "Everyone keeps coming up to me, saying, "Can I bring them over a pie?" ""Is there anything around the house that needs fixing?"" "Well, I am not a widow, Pastor." "Of course not." "It's just... that you're one of our most... cherished members." "Everyone keeps talking about all the great things... you've done for us over the years." "Thank you, but Roy has put in a lot more time." "You should be paying him a call instead of me." "Irma, I know in my effort to turn over every stone..." "I had suggested that you might have had a hand in this." " Yes, you did." " I took a wrong turn." "Forgive me." "Let me assure you, you did not cause... or enable this problem of Roy's in any way." " This is not your fault." " I know it isn't." "Now I am going to tell you one more thing." "As your pastor... and as your friend..." "I give you permission to separate your life from his... without guilt or regret." "I give you permission to walk away." "To walk away?" "Yes." "But he's my heart." "My heart." "It's a beautiful morning in De Kalb County." "Clear skies, highs in the mid 30s." "Balmy enough to leave your parkas in the closet during the day." "But plan to bundle up tonight." "We have a cold front coming in that'll take us down to the teens." "A storm is expected on Monday, but should let up in time for the holiday weekend." "And speaking of the holiday weekend... it's not too late to order your turkeys." "They have been raising high-quality corn-fed turkeys..." "Patty Ann!" "Honey, come on." "I can't be late." " Bye." " I love you." "You've reached the home of the Applewoods." "We can't come to the phone right now, so please leave a message." "Bye." "Hi, this is Wayne." "Mom, I got your letter about coming down for Thanksgiving." "I am really... busy right now." "But maybe I can come down for a couple of days." "Maybe one day." "You know what?" "I'll be there for dinner." "I'll have to see." "Okay, I'll see you then." "All right, bye-bye." "Shit." "I think it's done." "Wayne's here!" "Hey, kiddo." "You grew a beard." "It's cool." " Hey, Mom." " Hello, Wayne." "Mom, look." "Wayne has a beard!" "I see." "Patty Ann, get off his back." "We were worried about you." "Did you run into traffic?" "There was a storm on 7th, so I took a different route." "Honey, I am so glad to see you." " You feel skinny." "Did you lose weight?" " No." "Here, I brought you these." "They are so beautiful." "Thank you." "Don't you want to bring your bags in?" "No, we can get them later." "Well, if you have any laundry that you want me to do... you just bring it in, okay?" "Come on in, you must be so hungry." "This is so beautiful." "Wayne, I can make a muscle." "Yeah." "I see." "You know what, honey?" "I like your beard." " Yeah?" " Yes, I do." " I got tired of shaving." " Of course." "The turkey is all set... so you showed up just in the nick of time." " Want something to drink?" " Do you have beer?" " I got it." " Okay." "Wayne, I got my ear pierced again." "Yeah." "You look like a pin cushion." "Who's ahead?" " Chicago." " All right." "How is work, honey?" "The band is on a break right now." "They'll start again in January." "They want me to work their sound." "Really?" "That's a big step, isn't it?" " What kind of glass do you want?" " The can's fine." "Does that mean that they will pay you more?" "I should be making pretty good money." "This is turning into a real career, isn't it?" " Do you do a lot of stuff backstage?" " What do you mean?" " You know..." " No." "So, honey, does that mean that you are going to have to travel a lot?" "Yeah." "We might go to Europe next year." " Europe?" "Isn't that wonderful?" " Can I go with you in the summer?" " I'll work in the crew." " No." "Wayne, did you know I'm working at your old high school now?" "Yeah?" "Great." "The secretary retired, so I've taken on her job." " Who cuts your hair?" " Will you stop interrupting?" " I wasn't." "I thought you were done." " I wasn't." "Can you finish the relish tray, please?" "Where's Dad?" "Well, he's still getting dressed." "You know, Wayne, I'd love, if you have a moment... if you could look at the basement, because... we seem to have a leak." " Sure." "You want me to do it now?" " No." "I want you to sit and just relax for a little while, okay?" "I don't mind." "Do it after supper, there's a lot of time." "Hey, Pop." " How was your trip?" " It was good." "Is the van running all right?" "I heard a knock in the engine... when you pulled up to the house." "Want me to take a look at it?" "Yeah, great." "So, you grew a beard?" " Got tired of shaving." " So did I." " You want to sit down?" " Yeah." " What are you having?" " A beer." "I think I'll join you." "Irma, can I have a beer?" "All right." " How's work?" " Work is going good." "Good." "Thank you." "Who's ahead?" " Chicago." " All right." "Could you turn the sound up on the TV?" "We're ready to eat now." " We just want to hear the game." " Well..." "Patty Ann, would you get the olives, please?" "You know, Wayne, I think that I am going to have you carve the turkey this year." " I've never done it before, Mom." " I'll do it, Irma." "No, I want Wayne to do it." "It's easy, sweetheart." "We have an electric knife." " Wayne, can you open this?" " Yeah, sure." " Give it to me." " I got it." "Come on." " Just run it under hot water." " I got it." "Here you go." " Dad, look at your hand, gross." " What happened?" "A little bit of skin, that's all, scraped skin." "Honey, you hurt yourself." "No, it's all right." "It's okay." "Quit it, all right?" "Don't worry." "Dad's hormones are making him soft." "Mom, do you want me to do anything?" "No, we're all set." "If you want, you can open that bottle of wine that's on the dining room table." "And, Patty Ann... honey, we are ready to take out the side dishes." "And don't forget to use the trivets." " Want some help?" " No, I have it." " Wayne looks good." " Yes, he does." "I like the beard." " Are you mad at me?" " We don't have to talk about it now." " Yes, we do." " No." "What did I do?" " Roy, you know what you did." " No, I don't." "Tell me." ""Irma, can you get me a beer?"" ""Turn up the TV." What kind of macho crap was that?" "I can't relax with my son and have a beer?" "Come on, Roy." "You were putting it on." " You don't have to show off for him." " I was not." "What was that crap about carving the turkey?" "It was uncalled for..." "I just wanted to give him something to do." "No, you weren't." "You were making him the head of the table." "No." " I can't help you in my own kitchen." " Why don't you toss the salad?" " You're making me an outcast." " Mom, the cork broke." " Shoot." " Sorry." "That's no problem." "We can fix that." " We need an awl." " An awl?" "Got one in my workbench." "We're in the basement." "Right." "Okay." "You need some power tools?" "I'm giving my extra ones away." " No, I'm good." " Look around." "Take anything you need." "You know, I think I'll go up and see if there's anything else Mom needs." "Wayne, I know... this is hard for you." "But I really appreciate you coming." "It means a lot to me." " Sure, well..." " So is there anything you want... to talk to me about?" "Anything you want to ask?" "No." "Not right now." "We never have had much to say to each other, have we?" "No, I guess we never really have." "No." "I couldn't talk to my father, either." "I don't know anyone who really gets along with their dad." "You know, it shouldn't have to be that way." "No, it shouldn't." " We're ready to eat." " Yeah, we're just coming." "I'm fixing the cork." "She still calls you Roy?" "Yeah, until the surgery." "Did Mom decide..." "Are you and she going to keep living together?" "Yeah." "So does that mean that..." "Do you still sleep in the same bed?" "Sexually, you're still into women, you're into Mom?" "Correct." "So as a man you're straight, but as a woman you're gay?" "Your mother happens to be the person I fell in love with." " Doesn't that make Mom a lesbian?" " Not necessarily." "Come on, Pop." "Honey, your mother's sexuality hasn't changed." "We're staying together because we love each other." "In other words... if the two of you ever split up, she'd go back to men." "Probably." " So she's straight." " Yes, Wayne." "But she'll sleep with you when you become a woman." " Maybe." "Maybe not." " No, if she did..." "Women with women." "I can understand that." "If I was a chick, I wouldn't want to be with a guy." "I'd much rather be with chicks." "I love chicks." " Maybe I'm a lesbian, too." " That's enough, Wayne." " What?" " You're being sarcastic." "I'm just trying to figure all this out." "I'm glad you are." "Calling me sarcastic?" "I'm too fucking confused to be sarcastic." "Let's not fight." "You know what?" "Let's just not talk." "I'm sorry." "Honey, I think you've carved enough turkey." "It's time to start thinking about finding those... special gifts for family and friends." "Well, I think we could make... a nice soup out of this tomorrow." "Yeah, good idea." "Ma, what do you want me to do with my laundry?" "Just leave it on the landing." "Honey, can you come in here a minute?" "Please?" "I just wanted you to go through your Dad's clothes... before I gave them all away." " You need a tie?" " I don't wear ties." "Yeah, but you never know." "You might need one for a wedding... or if you go to a nice restaurant." "Look, this one feels like you." "I think I gave him this one for his birthday, or Father's Day... or one of those Dad events." " Can you use an electric razor?" " No." "Here's a brand-new package of undershirts." "No, thanks." "Look... this is a lovely jacket." "It's way too nice." "I don't wear that kind of thing." "It's very sporty, too." "You could wear it with a pair of jeans." "Here, come on." "Just try it." "Slip it on once." "It should fit." "Well, no, it's too big in the shoulder." "But you could always have it altered." "Lift that there... and lengthen the sleeves a little bit." "What are you doing?" "It still has some of his aftershave on the collar." " But it'll come out..." " I don't want it." "I don't want any of his stuff." "Jesus Christ!" "Look, Wayne, I'm sorry." "I know this is hard on you." "Forget about me." "What about you?" "Aren't you revolted?" "Aren't you pissed?" " No, not anymore." " Come on, Ma, there must..." "Jesus!" "Do you actually like him as a woman?" "I like having him alive." " And I like having him with me." " What do you get out of him?" "I get his love, Wayne." " Is Wayne taking any of Daddy's stuff?" " No." " Can I have this jacket?" " No, honey." " Put it down." " Why?" "Just leave it alone!" "Wayne, did you find anything you could use?" "My taste is probably a little square for you." "But this is a sharp jacket." " Did you try it on?" " Yeah." "It doesn't really fit." "Just give it to me, Roy." " I'll take it to the church." " I can use the jacket." "No, honey." "Wayne, I'm going to give you my watch." "I had the jeweller clean it." "Put in a new battery." "It should work perfect." "Explain to me why I can't have the jacket!" "Cool it!" " What's this about?" " What do you mean?" "What am I supposed to do with your watch?" "Wear it with pride, and pass it on to the next generation?" ""Here, son, this is your granddad's." ""He gave it to me when he switched to a Lady Timex."" "Fuck your watch, your watch is bogus." "I don't want it near my fucking wrist." "Don't use that language with your father." "Are you actually trying to defend him?" "This freak who kept you going for what, 25, 26 years?" "Shared your bed." "Got you pregnant." "Don't you feel scammed?" " You're way out of line." " No, you are." "We can't even have Thanksgiving with Gran and Grandpa because of you." " Get out now!" " You half-baked cunt." "You can't tell me what to do." "Don't you ever use that word again." "Cunt." "Stop it!" "God!" "Wayne, you all right?" " You okay?" " Get off me." "Come on." "I'm okay, Ma." "I didn't mean that." "Irma, will you go get some ice?" "Patty, go with your mom." "Come on." " Just let me see." " I'm fine." "Wayne, please let me help you." " Okay, can you feel anything?" " It's numb." " Okay, can you feel anything?" " It's numb." "It's swelling, but I don't think it's..." "I don't think it's broken." "Here." "Come on." "Sit down with me." "Come on, sit down." "I wouldn't hurt you for the world." "Wayne, my precious boy." "It's all right." "Hello, Mother." "Hello, Dad." "Who are you?" "I'm your daughter Ruth." "I had some other daughters visit me yesterday." "That woman over there, she can tell you their names." "Margie and Beth drove up from Toledo." "Did you have a nice visit with them?" "They brought a pie." "I didn't like it, it was too sweet." "It was a cake." "He ate three pieces." " What's your name?" "Ruth?" " Yes." " So I have four daughters?" " Five." "I thought I had a son." "Ask that woman back there if I have a son." "No, you don't." "Who am I going to leave the farm to, then?" "You're leaving it to Becky." " Who's Becky?" "The nurse?" " She's your oldest daughter." " I can't leave the farm to her." " Well, you are." " Where is she?" " She's out fixing the barn." "I better get out there, or I'll get my butt whipped." "Who by?" "Becky?" "No, my daddy." "We're putting in lima beans." " I hate lima beans." "Don't you?" " I can't stand them." "I told that woman over there I'm not going to eat them." "That woman over there is your wife." "She's been married to you for 50 years." "I don't care." "You tell her I'm not going to eat any more lima beans." "Her name is Em." "She's borne your children and cooked your food and stood behind you... in everything you did, no matter how misguided or stupid or cruel." "She's old and she's tired." "And she still bathes you and feeds you... and changes your soiled pants." "The least you can do is call her by her name." "I don't want her." "I want my mama." " She's not here." " Why?" "Daddy... you're an old man." "Your mother's not alive anymore." "Roy, you ready for your sandwich?" "I can't eat now." "I wet my pants." "I want my mama." "I'll change you." " I want my mama." " You want help, honey?" "No, I can handle it." "You get some rest, Mother." "Get some rest." "This is the penis." "And this represents the skin around the penis." "And these are the testicles." "First, you take out the testes... leaving the scrotal sac." "Then you take out the inside of the penis... and pull it inside out, making what was once an outie an innie." "Then you take the scrotal sac, and you cut it in half to make the labia." "Like this." "And voilà!" "You have a vagina." "Thank you." "You've reached the home of the Applewoods." "Neither Irma, Ruth, or Patty Ann can come to the phone right now." "Please leave a message." "Hi, Mom, Dad." "I wanted to wish you guys a happy anniversary." "Is it today?" "I think it's today." "Anyway, happy whatever." "I just wanted to call to wish Pop good luck with his surgery tomorrow." "Let me know how it goes." "Hey, Patty Ann." "I love you guys." "Take care." "This is Wayne." "Bye." "What do you think?" "You're so pretty." "Here." " Happy anniversary." " Thank you." "They're so beautiful." " What do you think?" " They look lovely." "I'd like to look at you one last time." "What?" "Thank you." "Sweet Roy." "Sweet soul." "What we do for love."