"So this is what you want, huh?" "You want some of me..." "[ROARING] 20: 18" "One more point and I win." "It's not over yet, pal." "Well, basically it is." "I'm gonna just sink this last shot for this final nail in your coffin." "Always so cocksure of yourself, aren't you?" "Always the big winner." "You may think you're better than me, but I've got something you don't." "Tenacity." "If you think I'm gonna stand here and let you win then you've got another thing coming." "Twentyone-eighteen, I win." "Hey, you wanna play again?" "Same rules as last game?" "Yeah, sure." "Zero-eighteen." " Any big plans tonight, Carlton?" " I have a date." " With whom?" " Same lady I see every Saturday night." "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman." "Ashley, what do you say to the two of us girls going out tonight?" "Gee, Hilary, I'd love to, but I have a date." "Well, you can come along if you like." " Well, I don't wanna tag along or anything..." " I understand." "Look, I had a great time too, Lola." "Hey, thanks for paying, baby." "I can't stand this." "Everyone has a date except me." "What's the problem, Hil?" "I mean, come on." "You're pretty, you're fun, you're intelli..." "Vision." "Well, that's exactly the problem." "I'm a celebrity and men are intimidated by me." "I'm a beautiful woman trapped in an even more beautiful woman's body." "Just got back from dropping Nicky off at his first sleepover party." "I met some of the parents, I couldn't believe it." "Most of them are only few years older than you kids." "Didn't none of them kids look like me, did they, Uncle Phil?" "I was just checking, man, just checking." "VIVIAN:" "Everybody, you've gotta come see this." "Phil, the package came from Soul Train." "PHILIP:" "Really?" " Wait till you see this, guys." "This isn't gonna take long, is it?" "I have a date." "We know." "CARLTON:" "Go ahead, Mom." "Put it on." " Okay." "Vivian, please, do we have to...?" "Welcome back." "Now we're gonna play the Soul Train Scramble game." "Let's meet today's couple." "You are...?" " Vivian Smith, Scorpio." " Oh, Philip Banks." "Solid." "[PHILIP CHUCKLES]" "All right, you know the rules." "If you can unscramble our mystery artist you win a lifetime supply of Afro Sheen." "Okay?" " Ready?" "Go." " Oh, yeah." "[FUNK MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]" "I'm sorry, Phil, but that's wrong." "The answer is James Brown." "No, my man, it's not wrong." "See, foxy mama ever since I met you, I knew that the deal we had was righteous." "And I know out of all the cats out there, I'm not the downest." "It's just that I want our gigs to groove together forever." " Do you dig it?" " You're my main man." "Now, that's true love." "Let's send them on their way with Marvin and Tammi and "You're All I Need. "" "TAMMI [SINGING ON TV]:" "You're all I need to get by" "[TV TURNS OFF]" "So, Uncle Phil, you proposed on Soul Train, huh?" "Where you all get married at, The Flip Wilson Show?" "I think it's so romantic." "Soul Train's having a 25-year reunion and we've been named as one of the 10 most memorable couples." " Well, isn't that great?" " The whole family's invited." "All right." "Hey, let me tell y'all when I was growing up in Philly, Soul Train was the bomb." "Hey, I still got my miniature Don Cornelius with the lifelike voice." "[IN DEEP VOICE] You can bet your last money it's gonna be a stone gas, honey." "And until next time, love, peace and..." "Soul!" "[LAUGHING]" "You played with a doll?" "Ain't..." "Ain't no doll, man, it's an action figure." "Afro pick sold separately." "Hey." "Hey, Uncle Phil, man." "You was like a real cool, hip, handsome dude back then, man." "What happened?" "Man." "No slap in the head or nothing." "I'm scared." "[SNAPPING FINGERS]" "Carlton, what's wrong, man?" "Are you having a Maalox moment?" "I'm practicing for Soul Train." "I understand there's some dancing involved." "[SNAPPING FINGERS]" "Two things, Carlton." "One, that's not dancing." "Two, I would appreciate it if you stayed away from the show." "And why, pray tell, is that?" "Again, two things, Carlton." "One, because you say stuff like "pray tell. "" "And, two, you're gonna mess up my chances of being the new co-host." "You're going to be the new co-host?" "Gee, I guess they forgot to fax me that press release." "Well, let me break it down for you, Teeny Petito." "Now, Soul Train has been looking for a new co-host." "And so far, nobody's worked out." "And they're going to give you the co-host job based on what?" "Your love of Don Cornelius dolls?" "It's not a doll, man, it's an action figure." "And you got no business even being on the Soul Hyundai let alone the Soul Train." "So stay away from the show so you don't embarrass me." "Me?" "You're the embarrassment, you urban urchin." "I know you don't think I'm good enough for Soul Train." "But when I get there, I'll dance circles around you." "Carlton Banks, soul brother number one." "[SNAPPING FINGERS]" "VIVIAN:" "Philip." "Look, honey, it still fits." "Yes, but can you breathe?" "It may have shrunk a little." "Sweetheart, I think the suit's the same size." "I said it must have shrunk a little." "Yes, well, look, we can't go to Soul Train anyway." "I checked my schedule, and that's the same night as the Bar Association's chili cook-off." " So?" " Well, Vivian, you know I'm up for election." "If I wanna keep my seat on the bench, I have to make appearances." "Plus, it's damn good chili." "Philip, this evening is very special to me and it should be to you too." "It is special to me, but I have a conflict that evening." "You got a conflict tonight too." "See you're working your magic again, huh?" "Oh, she is being completely unreasonable." "I can't go to Soul Train because I have a more important commitment." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, cowboy." "What could be more important than Soul Train?" "A chili cook-off." "Well..." "Well, it's a major political event." "Uh..." "Besides, my feet hurt and, well, I'm afraid my head will look shiny on camera." "You know what, Uncle Phil?" "I know what your problem is, man." "You know what?" "Don't even worry about it." "I got you covered." "Now get your head in there." "[FUNK MUSIC PLAYING ON RECORD PLAYER]" "[SNAPPING FINGERS]" "Yeah, now pick up your feet." "Put it all together." "WILL:" "Yeah." "LAMONT:" "Yeah." "Sookie, sookie, sookie, sookie Sue." "Yeah." "Oh, you got it, Uncle Phil, there you go, there you go." "What is this?" "Uncle Phil was feeling a little gun-shy about his grooves." "I got Lamont to come over, give him some dance lessons." "That's right, Philly Gilly." "Now, lesson number two is shake your groove thing." "If that's a groove, the Grand Canyon's a ditch." "That's it." "Hey, hey." "Come on, Philly Gilly, don't be..." " That's it." " Uncle Phil, Lamont..." "Look, Will, I'm not gonna have some platformed freak make a fool out of me." "Whoa, you're talking about one of the original Solid Gold Dancers." "I danced at Sam Cooke's funeral." "You're gonna be dancing at your own funeral if you don't get out of my house." "LAMONT:" "Overgrown Isaac Hayes-looking fool." "Philip, that was so rude." "I'm gonna go apologize to the man." "All right, all right." "Come on, Uncle Phil, what's bothering you?" "Right now, you are." "Hey, hey, hey." "Come on, man, let me have it." "What's the problem?" "Will, do you know what I'd do if I even thought for one second that you were anywhere near my problem?" "No, what?" "I'd build a fence to keep you away." "One with barbed wire and maybe a sniper up on the roof to pick you off just in case you got over the fence." "And given the slightest chance that he'd miss there'd be two rottweilers guarding my problem." "You don't want my help, do you?" " I'll go." " Okay." "Philip, what is the matter with you?" "Vivian, it's this Soul Train business." "I feel like a dinosaur that somebody wants to put on display." "Don't you realize how special this night is to me?" "[SIGHS]" "All right, fine, I'll go." "Philip, don't do me any favors." "I'm not doing you any favors." "I want to go, okay?" "No, you don't." "And you know what?" "I think I might just rather go by myself." "Vivian." "Vivian." "WILL [IN DEEP VOICE]:" "Welcome to the Soul Train 25th Anniversary Special." "I'm Don Cornelius." "Before we get started, I'd like to say:" "Get that damn flashlight out of my face!" "[IN NORMAL VOICE] You kill me, Don." "Are you still playing with that doll?" "Action figure, action figure." "Is that so hard to understand?" "Look, forget your stupid doll." "Action figure." "I'm worried about my parents." "I've been listening outside their bedroom." "Carlton, he's not hurting her." "No, I mean, they've been arguing all night." "Come on, man." "Look, they're a married couple." "Arguing is what married's being all about." "I mean, I'm sure whatever their problem is, they'll work it out." "[DOOR SLAMS]" "I hope." "Geoffrey." "If you weren't my butler and had a decent job would you ask me out or would you be too intimidated?" "Geoffrey." "Sorry, I got caught up in the fantasy." "About me?" "No, about that decent job." "Tell me, do I have a desk?" "Hilary, sit down." "I want you to take this test on your dateability." "Please, like some little quiz in Seventeen magazine has anything to do with my life." "Come on, Hilary, it's just for fun." " Okay, okay." " All right." "Question one." "You're on a date and the guy tries to kiss you, what do you do?" "I don't have a date." "Must you throw that in my face?" "VIVIAN:" "Will, what's wrong?" "Uncle Phil's staying with us in the pool house." "Oh, I know it's upsetting, honey, but we'll work things out." "Oh, no, he was clipping his toenails, I took one in the eye." "I was thinking about going to Soul Train by myself." "Would you be my dance partner?" "Ooh." "Uh, Aunt Viv, you know, I'd love to take you." "You know, but this is Soul Train." "I got to get my mack on, you know." "Which is kind of difficult to do when you go there with somebody old." "Oh, I mean..." "I mean..." "I mean..." "I mean that's kid talk, Aunt Viv." "You know how kids talk." "You know, bad means good." "And stupid means great." "And old means beautiful." "You are so old." "You are the oldest person I ever seen." " We leave at 8." " I will be ready." "Welcome to the Soul Train 25th Anniversary Special." "And now here's a little something to kick us off." "SELDA [SINGING ON SPEAKERS]:" "I'll be your answer, I'll be your wish" "I'll be your fantasy Your favorite dish" "From the back to the middle And around again" "I'm gonna be there till the end One hundred percent pure love" "From the back to the middle And around again" "I'm gonna be there till the end One hundred percent pure love" "You saw a brand-new high Thought that you could fly" "Did I hear you cry Or did you like the ride" "Will, I thought you were with me." "Aunt Viv." "Hm, hm." "Is that your aunt?" "Oh, yeah, but we see other people." "What a freak." "SELDA [SINGING]:" "So don't you fight" "I'll be your answer I'll be your wish" "Geoffrey?" "Please, Miss Ashley, don't give me away." "[MUSIC STOPS]" "And now, before I introduce our next hot single say hello to my man Bootsy Collins." "And now, here's an oldie but a goody." "[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]" "Hey, Aunt Viv, how about that dance now?" "No, you go do your thing, Will." "I'm leaving." "Wait, wait, hey, hey." "Come on, Aunt Viv." "Let's hit the floor." "I'm going." "It's not the same without Philip." "You kids have fun." "Aunt Viv." "I believe I owe you a dance." "[SPEAKING INAUDIBLY]" "And let's reach all the way back to a personal favorite." "Here's Marvin and Tammi's "You're All I Need. "" "MARVIN [SINGING ON SPEAKERS]:" "You're all I need to get by" "You know, Vivian?" "From the night I first met you, I knew that the deal we had was righteous." "Now, I may not be the downest cat out here." "I just want our lives to groove together forever." "You are still my main man." "You know, sweetheart, when we first danced together on Soul Train we had our whole lives to look forward to." "I guess it's a lot easier to look ahead than it is to look back." "But as long as I'm with you, there is only now." "Isn't it romantic?" "Don't touch me." "All right, now all aboard, you guys, for the Soul Train Line." "[CROWD CHEERING]" "[PARLIAMENT'S "FLASHLIGHT" PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]" "MAN [SINGING]:" "Flashlight" "Flashlight" "Red light" "Flashlight" "CROWD [CHANTING]:" "Go, Bootsy!" "Go, Bootsy!" "Go, Bootsy!" "MAN [SINGING]:" "Stop light" "Neon light" "Ooh, neon light" "Flashlight" "Flashlight" "Flashlight" "ZHANE [SINGING ON SPEAKERS]:" "It's a groove thang, a groove thang" "We're moving on, keeping strong" "Don't you let them steer you wrong It's a groove thang" "We're gonna give you what you want Just as long as you're around" "It's a groove thang" "We're moving on, keeping strong" "Don't you let them steer you wrong It's a groove thang" "[CROWD CHEERING]" "[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]" "WOMAN:" "Go." "[CROWD CHEERING]" "[SCREAMS]" "DON:" "That's just about all, y'all." "Thank you for joining us for the Soul Train 25th Anniversary Celebration." "I'm Don Cornelius, and as always in parting, we wish you:" "ALL:" "Love, peace and soul!" "[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]" "Y'all stay tuned for more Fresh Prince."