"I can't see how you can say that Roy Orbison... had anything to do with Pete Townshend whatsoever." "Now, that's just where you're wrong, see?" "Roy's use of feedback on the guitar solo on "Ooby Dooby"..." " preceded Pete's stuff by a good six or seven years." "I'm sayin' that the use of feedback in the rock guitar solo... was further back than The Who." "Further than Orbison even, back to the early electric blues players in the '20s and '30s." "Well, they couldn't avoid feedback in them days." "The amps were rubbish, see?" "That's my point." "Rock 'n' roll is not separate from other music." "It's part of one big picture." "Like life." "We're all connected." "If you're so smart, how come you work as a housekeeper?" "I'm an eccentric millionaire." "Why do you work as a gardener?" "I am a gardener." "You've not had your coffee yet, have you?" "Cheeky Chops." "Can you hold, please?" "Irene, 3.00." "Yes, that'll be good." "Bye." "Cheeky Chops." "What exactly don't you like about it, Mrs Williams?" "It's a bit..." "African." "Ah, there she is, my teenage biker princess." "Hi, Mum." "Hi, Gordo." "Oh, my God." "Look at you." "You look like you slept in a tumble dryer." "Come here." " Can I have 20 pounds, please, Mum?" " Why?" "Well, I need currency to have a viable existence in a capitalistic society." " Ask a silly question..." " Why are you always asking me for money?" "I'm a teenager." "It's our thing." "Ta." "Bloody poofy pop music." " Bloody hell." "George, I love you." "I've always loved you." "You never loved me, did you, George?" "Did you?" "Oh, George, you're not listening to me." " I don't blame him." "Tragedy in the world of music." "Rock star Paul Kerr... was rushed from his mansion to Bristol Royal Infirmary." "The hospital has made no statements yet... but unconfirmed reports are suggesting that the musician attempted suicide." "Let's go." "In the bus." "We're moving out." " I thought we were staying here tonight." " Change of plan." "How are you feeling, Mr Kerr?" "Um..." "Well, um..." "I'll probably be all right if you set me up with some drugs." "I'm in a lot of pain." "I think, uh, morphine would be good." "I'm a psychiatrist, not a dealer." "I don't want a psychiatrist." "I want a proper doctor." " And morphine." " Your injuries are superficial." "You don't need morphine." "Then how about some Valium?" "I'm a wee bit nervous about it happenin' again." "Yeah." "Me too." "You often suicidal, Paul?" "Come on." "I was drunk." "I did something stupid." "It was a one-off." "I'm not suicidal." "You drove your motorcycle through a second-floor window in your house." "Would you call that the act of a sane man?" "Hey, I'm a rock star." "I've driven cars into swimming' pools and thrown televisions out of windows." "It's part of the job." "Look, be reasonable." "Why would I try and kill myself?" "I'm a happy guy." "I'm rich and I'm Scottish." "Doesn't get better than that." "You don't like me, do you?" "I think you bring a lot of hostility to your job." "What's the matter?" "Did you have a bad childhood?" "Do you still hear the lambs, Clarice?" "Hey, you bloody kid, get away from that bus." "That's rock 'n' roll history, that is." "Grandpa!" "Still riding in that little hair dryer, are you?" " I thought you'd have a Harley by now." " Try telling Mum that." "Poor mother." "White sheep of the family." " Where's the band?" " In the pub." "Of course." "I thought you were supposed to be going on tour." "Change of plan." "You know something?" "I'm really jonesing for a nice cup of tea." "Come on, then." "Margaret, I love you." "I've always loved you." "But you never loved me, did you, Margaret?" " Margaret, you're not listening to me." " Hmph." "I don't blame her." "Margaret?" "Margaret, where are you?" "Oh, bloody hell." "Oh, Lord." "Put some bloody clothes on." "You look like prostitutes." "What do you want?" "How did you get in?" "Nice to see you too." "Olivia let me in." "Made me fish fingers." "Delicious, they are." "Right." "Good." "You're not surprised to see me?" "I saw your bus in the driveway." "You want to get rid of that thing before it falls apart." "Never." "You were conceived in that bus, girl." "That's history, that is." "Your reprobate band are not sleeping tonight in my house." "I'm still trying to get the smell out from the last time." "They'll sleep in the bus." " Where's Olivia?" " In her room... listening to music like any other normal teenager." "You're back late." "I'm busy." "We're opening a new salon in Bristol." "Don't you want to know why I'm here?" "Not really." "You've heard, then." "Well, if you don't say anything, I will." "This has gone on long enough." "Don't you start, Dad." "I'm warning you." "You've no bloody right, you hear?" "Just eat your fish fingers and keep your nose out of it." "I'm off to bed." "Night, sweetheart." "Mum?" "Yeah?" "Why is Grandpa here?" "He's sleeping on the couch, and he hasn't done that since Nan died." "But he's, uh..." "he's Grandpa." "Who knows what he's up to." "Night, then." "Come here." "I want to talk to you." "When I was your age, I..." "I was a bit wild." "Yeah, Grandpa said." "What happened?" "You can't be wild when you're a parent." "It's pathetic." " Grandpa's wild." " I rest my case." "You're too tough on him." "You didn't grow up with him." "Listen." "This is important." "I wasn't much older than you are now." "Oh, my God." "You had sex with Paul Kerr?" "Paul Kerr of the Love Rats, the '80s pop star?" "That's great!" "Why didn't you ever tell me?" "Oh, no." "You're kidding." "No." "No, you're kiddin'." "I'm absolutely serious, Mr Kerr." "I'm very worried about you." " You can't do this." "It's illegal." " No, no." "It's called a section." "It only needs two doctors to sign an order saying... that they think you are a danger to yourself or to others." "And we can keep you under psychiatric observation for as long as we see fit." "Oh, Jesus Christ." "Please don't blaspheme." "Dr Nahar is a born-again Christian." "You're worried about me?" "I think, and Dr Nahar agrees... that you are a danger to yourself at this point in time." "Now, this may be a temporary condition brought on... by some disappointment or upset... or it may be something more serious." "Like what?" "I don't know." "That's why I want to observe you." "What if you have a bipolar disorder, and I let you go and you commit suicide?" "I would never forgive myself." "Dr Nahar can forgive you." "He's a born-again Christian." "Give me drugs then." "At least give me a beer to take the edge off!" "I'm not mad." "I'm just creative." "I don't understand why you had to make up all that rubbish... about my father being a Russian sailor and dying in the Cold War." "I mean, where did you get that from?" "It was my idea." "I got it from a film I saw." "Letter to Brezhnev." "Very good it was too." "We had to make up the bit about him drowning after the Soviet collapse." " I mean, who could foresee that coming, eh?" " But why?" "It seemed like the right thing to do." "Why would you tell me that?" "I didn't want you to be part of that world... all those drugs and groupies and stuff." " It's no place for a child." " Well, you'd know all about the groupies." " Now don't you be cheeky to your mother." " Put a sock in it, Granddad." " It wasn't what you think." " It was." "It was Paul Kerr, my father." " He didn't want his kid around cramping his style." " No." "My father didn't want me." "He doesn't know." " What?" " What?" "Well, what if he'd taken you away with all his fancy lawyers... and given you one of those stupid pop star kids' names, like Flowerbell... or-or Moonbeam or Kipper or something?" "You would've grown up the child of someone famous." "Would that be a good idea?" "Julian Lennon, Victoria Sellers... uh, Mickey Humperdinck..." "Shut up, Dad!" "I swear to you, darling..." "I did this because I love you so much." "And I wanted to protect you." "I'm sorry." "And why are you telling me this now?" "Um..." "Because your father's sick." "Horsie goes down." "Horsie goes up." " Horsie goes down." "500 of those deerskin toilet seat covers." "You know, the little fuzzy kind." "And if you can ship those out to me right away, I'd really appreciate it." "Because, you know, we need 'em really bad in here." "All right?" "What'd you say?" "You only have the leopard?" "Hey, Liberace, could you play something else, please?" "I wish they'd settle down a bit." "Let one of them sing." "Sounds like a competition." "Shut up." "Doesn't matter what it sounds like." "Look at them." "Sam, Paul Kerr's on line three." "Oh, tell him I'm in Japan." "Take a message." "Paul Kerr?" "Jesus, that's a rave from the grave." "I wonder what he wants." " What do they always want?" "I can't make a living out of acts that... only make one album every five years." " He's an artist." " He's a lousy drunk." "Hi, Paul." "He says he's in Japan." "This is bullshit, Janice." "Now you put him on the phone right now!" " Oh, I'm sorry, Paul." "He won't take the call." " You tell that bastard..." "I will kill him if he doesn't take that call right now!" "Hi." "I'm fine." "Yeah." "Of course you are." "Don't you think it's time... you grew up and thought about someone else other than yourself?" "Don't you think it's about time you realize there's other people involved here?" "It's not just..." "Listen to me!" "You have absolutely no understanding of the situation." "I understand the situation perfectly." "I understand... you're a selfish, self-centred, useless Australian bastard!" "Cheers, love." "Knew you'd understand." " I'll call you in a couple of days, okay?" "Bloody Scots." "The women are worse than the men." "So don't you get fed up running around the country..." " in this smelly old bus with four other men?" "When you put it like that, doesn't sound so great, does it?" " So why do you do it then?" " Music." "I play the music I love every night of the week... with friends I've known for a long, long time." "Now, how many men of my age do you know that can say that?" "I don't know any men your age except you and the band." "Now you listen to me, young 'un." "No matter what your mother may tell you, there is an alternative... to living in a nice little house... and running a nice little business." "There's nothing wrong with what your mother does... but there is nothing wrong with what I do either." "I know." "Mum just worries." "She worries too much." "You okay?" "About the father thing and all that?" "Yeah." "Mum and I have arranged an appointment... to go and see him at the hospital." "Quite excited about it in a way." "Good." "Good." "Olivia tells me you're going to the hospital to see Paul Kerr." "She wanted to." "I didn't feel I could stand in the way of it." "Why did you tell her that he didn't know about her?" "It's kinder if she thinks he didn't know, rather than he didn't want to know." "Don't you think there's been enough lying?" "Don't you think you'd better be going?" "I'll call you from Wolverhampton." "Whatever." "Why have you got toilet paper in your ears?" "I can't hear you." "I've got toilet paper in my ears." " You have a visitor." " Finally." "Please, sit down." "Hello." "Who are you?" "You don't recognize your father-in-law?" "My God." "Dad." " I didn't recognize you in the leather trousers." "Dr Bridget, Drew has his finger stuck in the piano again." "Oh." "Excuse me." "I'll be right back." "Okay, Gramps, who are you?" "Did Gervasi send you?" "And did you bring drugs?" "Don't you call me Gramps, you degenerate Scottish bastard." "No one sent me." "Okay." "Who are you?" "I am who I said I am." "I'm your father-in-law." "Well, sort of." "Great." "Another loony." "You know, there's a guy out there playing the piano." "I think you'd really enjoy it." "Now you listen to me, you bloody shit!" "My granddaughter is coming to see you." "Now you be nice to her, or I'll break your bloody neck." "Do you understand me?" "Okay, okay, I'll be nice to her." "You know, 16 years ago I could've killed you." "Really?" "Why?" " Oh, you know why." " Sorry about that." "So, how are we doing?" "Well, I think we should rally around him, you know?" "Cheer him up." "Look after him." "No offence, but why?" "None of us really know him." "He never comes out of the house." "I asked if he wanted to play guitar on the music night here in the pub." "He just laughed at me." "Well, what if he dies?" "Or they keep him in the loony bin forever... and the house is sold, and some bloody yuppie buys it... and turns it into a crafts shop or a bed and breakfast?" "The whole village will be crawling with bored stockbrokers... in green Wellies practising their comedy Welsh accents." ""Hello, boyo."" "Come on, now, Graham." "That couldn't happen." "It's happening all over Wales." "I say we're better off with our reclusive Scottish musician." "We hardly see him." "And we're all left alone." "Yeah, I don't want any bloody kids coming here stealing cars and such." "Well, that's exactly what might happen." "Or worse." "What could be worse?" "What if the place were bought..." "by an American?" "It's our duty as a community... to gather 'round one of our number... who has hit a dark patch on life's long and winding road." "Yeah." "What do we do?" "I have an idea." "That's quite a story." "So the, um, the old man wearing the leather trousers..." " he was..." " My father." "My grandpa." " And Paul doesn't know him?" " No." "Well, that... that would explain his reaction." "Sorry about that." "We didn't know he was coming." "I gave him a flea in his ear and sent him back to his geriatric rockabilly band." "He'll keep out of it now." "He's got a gig in Uttoxeter tonight." "I'm-I'm sorry." "How..." "How are you involved here?" "Oh, I'm a longtime family friend." "I was there the night she fu... first met him." "Um, the night Olivia was conceived." "I mean, I wasn't actually in the room." "I got off with the bass player in the support band." "Spike." "We still keep in touch." "Just Christmas cards and stuff." "He lives in Lisbon." "Okay, that's better, but it's still crap." "See, the piano is capable of producing music... of atmospheric and incandescent beauty." "You, my friend, are turning it into an instrument of unspeakable torture." " Now, look." "Major chords are good for upbeat, cheery tunes." " Minor chords give you a sad, moody feel." "It's all about how you look at it." " And dis-chords..." "Give you an unsettled, strange feel." "Not that anybody around here needs that, eh?" "Eh?" "All right, look, I'll play you somethin'." "But I have to warn you, guitar is really my thing." "Piano is for girlies." "A lot of people get very uncomfortable around psychiatric patients." " Perhaps you'd like to wait." " No, no, I'm fine." "Really." "I want to see him." "We've had a long talk about it." "It's what she wants." "Well, maybe it's a good idea, a shock to the system." "Better it happens in here than on the outside... where he can hurt himself or run into a bar." "But I'm warning you, he's very depressed." "Don't expect much." " Yeah!" "Okay, what?" "What is it?" "Who are you, some kind of born-again Christian, talk-you-out-of-suicide squad?" "Because, I tell you, I am not suicidal." "It was a simple accident involving a bottle of whisky and a motorbike." "It could have happened to anyone." "See?" "I wouldn't want you growing up around that kind of behaviour." "Growing up around what kind of behaviour?" "What are you talkin' about?" "What's goin' on?" "Harpoon Louie's, Cardiff, 1987." "Oh, my God." "Rebecca." "Oh." "He remembered your name." "'Course I remembered her name." "I dedicated a whole album to you." "Lost Woman." "It's got a picture... of a tiny, wee lost woman on the front cover." "I didn't buy that one." " Why not?" " I went off him." "I was never into him." "I liked the Pet Shop Boys." "This is fantastic!" " And-And you've got family!" " Yes and no." "No." "This is about me." "Could we have a moment, please?" "Yes." "What?" "That man, Gordano... he's not my dad." "You are." " What?" " You're my father." "That night you spent with my mum in 1987..." "I'm the result." "Oh, uh..." "No." "Yes." "No, no..." "No way." " Yes way." " Oh, Jesus." "No, his mother had a better excuse." "What..." "Oh, wow." "That's roughly what I said." "Must be alike then." "Look, I'm sorry." "L" " I don't really know what to say." "Do you, um, got any other kids?" "Uh, no." " You?" " I'm 16." "Oh, God, I can't take this." "I should be inside." " I'm going in." " Hey, you promised not to interfere." " She's my kid." " Yeah, she's his too." "Oh, God, this is so Greek." "So, uh, what are you up to?" "School?" "Yeah." "I'm gettin' ready to leave." "What about a dad?" "Do you..." "I mean, that guy... is he like your dad?" "No." "He's Mum's business partner." "He's gay." "I was gonna say..." "Where's Paul Kerr?" "Who are you, his sister?" "His long-lost cousin?" "I'm Dorise LeFanu." "His wife." "Forget Greek." "This is Jerry Springer." "Mum wants me to go into the family business." "What's the family business?" "Hairdressing." "Why did you try to kill yourself?" "I didn't." "It was an accident." "Just nobody in here believes me." "They've sectioned me." "Darling!" "Ohh!" "Oh, I'm sorry I took so long." "Did they hurt you?" "Are you all right?" "Don't worry, Mr Kerr." "We'll have you out of here in a jiffy." " Mary?" " Oh!" "It's his pet name for me." "Don't speak, my love." "Wifey is here now." "I will look after you." "It'll be okay." "I'm having a very strange day." "Impersonating a loony's wife to help spring him from hospital." " Yes, I suspect that's highly illegal." " Oh!" "So we could have you arrested for not arresting us." " Don't start." " Nobody will ever know." " Why did you do this?" " What's that, then?" "You know." "Dress up with the... and everything to get me out of the hospital." "You are valued as part of our community." " Yeah, right." " So don't go killing yourself again." " Mmm!" "Apart from anything else, it's against the law." " It's illegal, see?" "No, I won't." "Too many interesting things happenin'." "Maybe later." "Give me another whisky." "What the hell is going on?" "Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush." "You'll wake Vince." "If he doesn't get his nap, he goes mental." "Never mind about that." "You can't light a fire in my driveway!" "Well, you can't eat raw chicken." "It's only a little fire." "I'll make sure they clean it up." "I thought you were off playing a gig in Uttoxeter tonight." "It was cancelled." "They put in a new karaoke machine." "Humph." "How did it feel... meeting your dad for the first time?" "I didn't really feel anything." "No real connection." "I don't suppose we've got a lot in common." " Music." " We didn't talk about music." "I was in there for five minutes." "You don't have to talk." "If you want to know what a musician's about, listen to him play." "If you want to know about your dad... listen to his music." "What if I want him to know about me?" " Piss off!" "Morning." "Oh, fuck!" "I'm warnin' you, if you're a Jehovah's Witness..." "He's about to witness your ass gettin' kicked." "G'day, mate." "Well, you look great." "Bloody hell!" "Digger McQuade!" "I thought you were dead." "Can I ask you a question?" "All right." "What was it like, that night with my father?" "We met after the show." "We were both so young." "It was before he got really, really famous... and got into drugs and everything." "What'd you talk about?" "Music mostly." "I remember he was impressed when I said I liked The Four Tops." "Most people my age back then were into Kajagoogoo." "So you just went back to his hotel and..." "No, I'm telling you, it wasn't like that." "I wasn't like that." "We snuck out away from all the other band members and roadies." "Went to Jack Williams' fish and chip shop." "God, it's not even there any more." "Eventually, after we watched the sun coming up... we went back to his hotel and had breakfast." "And that's when it happened?" "Yes." " It was just a one-night stand?" " Well..." "No, um, he had a few days off." "So we holed up in his hotel and ordered room service for 48 hours." "I told your gran I'd gone to London to apply for college." "Mum, you tramp!" "Don't get any ideas." "It was a stupid thing to do." "Do you still love him?" "Don't be ridiculous." "Can't love someone unless you know them." "We were just kids." "It seems like a million years ago..." " like it happened to someone else, not me." " That sounds like a cop-out." "Hey, I didn't cop out." "He did." "That's the type of person he is." "I didn't say you weren't angry at him." "I said you still loved him." "You're a romantic, Olivia." "You'll have to lose that if you want to survive." "Well, after the band split up, I did some session work, but it got boring." "And it wasn't like I needed the money after the Lost Woman album." "Come on." "Have some more." "Go on." "Are you done?" "Funny looking what's-it." "Friendly, though." " It's a llama." " What's his name?" "Dolly." "Dolly Llama." "It's a prestige item." "Michael Jackson's got loads of'em." "Looks like a gay sheep." "Why Loch Ness?" "I like it." "It's quiet." "You don't like quiet." "You're a drummer." "You like big, noisy stages, shrill women and loud pubs." "You're Australian, for God's sake." "All of that is true, mate, but I got a bit tired of it." "You know what I mean?" "Being a rock star is all right for a man in his 20s and 30s... but I'm 43 years old." "I'd feel faintly ridiculous being part of that world now." "Never thought I'd see the day." "Well, all right, then why'd you move down here?" "What's the best gig we ever played?" "Giants Stadium, New York, 1989." "No, no." "Apart from that." "Ooh." " Harpoon Louie's." " Harpoon Louie's." "Yeah, in Cardiff." " 1987." "It's a 20-minute bike ride from here." " Yeah." "So what?" "You're not gonna play there again, are you?" "Yeah." "I don't even think it's there any more." "I've always liked this place." "I like this part of the world, and I like it here." "I get peace to write music." "Peace to isolate, more like." "Nobody to bug you... as you slowly drink yourself to death." "Absolutely right, my good Australian friend." "Cheers." "I don't touch it any more, mate." "Been sober eight years." "Oh, no." "You're not one of them, are you?" " What, a poof?" " You know what." "A.A., 12 steps, and banging a tambourine for Jesus." "Yeah." "I'm A.A. All right, mate." "Don't have much to do with Jesus, as a rule." "You haven't come here to convert me to some born-again cult, have you?" "You believe what you like, mate." "I'm here to help you get off the booze." " I don't wanna get off the booze." " 'Course you do." "That's why you drove your bike through a window." "Oh, and by the way..." "I oughta kick your ass for killing an innocent motorcycle." "All right, look." "I'm not stoppin'." "I'm havin' one later, okay?" "That's the ticket." "One day at a time." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Kum-ba-ya to you too." "Those who do not recover are people who cannot... or will not completely give themselves to this simple programme... usually men and women who are..." "Does anyone want to accept a chip for 30 days sober?" "You're showin' your age, mate." "Maybe it's time you started knitting'." "Yeah?" "Well, maybe it's time you started the amends process, mate." "Hey, I got her pregnant and left her to raise the kid on her own." "How do you make amends for that, eh?" "I don't know." "A nice bunch of flowers, box of chocolates." "A nice bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates." "What a fantastic idea!" "Why didn't I think of that, eh?" "Problem solved." "Look, mate, I'm not an expert on the Shelias... but I know you got to make it up to that little girl for not being around her..." " when she was growin'up." " Now, that wasn't my fault." " I didn't know Olivia existed." " "It's not my fault."" "The mantra of the newly sober." "Yeah, you want to get drunk again?" " Yes." " No, you don't." "Take that, you clanky metal bastard." "Hi." "Um, I got your number from the phone book... but Digger said I had to come here in person." " I don't know if you remember me, but I..." " Of course I remember you." "Oh, yeah." "Of course." "Uh, I got you these." "Uh, the chocolates are for you... and the flowers are for Rebecca, your mum." "Unless you want the flowers, then we could give her the chocolates." "Or you could have 'em both... and we could get her something else entirely." "You know, like a nice bottle of wine... or a fruit basket, some cheese." "They'll be lovely for both of us." "We'll fight over them later." " She's not in." " Oh." " Do you want to come in?" " I don't know." "Mum said you wouldn't come, but, uh, I thought you might." "I mean, it's not every day a man finds a daughter he never knew about, right?" "You can say that again." "It's been a few months since the hospital, though." "What kept you?" "There were a few things I had to sort out of my own life first." "But it has been you that's been stalking me?" "Yeah." "That's a relief, anyway." " Sorry." "I didn't mean to scare you." " You didn't." "Look, I'm sorry about not being around and not being a father for you... and if there's anything I can do to make it up... you tell me and I'll do everything I can to do it, okay?" "You really mean that?" "Actually, yes." "Yes, I do." "I really mean it." "Okay." "I'll think about it." "So, what are you into?" "You musical?" "I sing." "No way." "What do you sing?" "Anything." "I'm Welsh." " Half Welsh." " Yeah, well, the Welsh part sings." " Sing with a band?" " No." "Mum doesn't really feel comfortable with me around musicians and such." "No." "Of course not." "How's your wife?" "Oh, that." "Oh." "Um, no, that was just some friends dressing up... you know, to get me out of the, uh, mental hospital." "So you're not married then?" "No." "Uh, you know, I think I better get going." "Are you sure you don't wanna stay and see Mum?" " Your mum's a wee bit mad at me, I think." " Gee." "Now, I wonder why." " Nice chocolates, were they?" " They were all right." "Is he coming back for another visit?" "He hasn't called." "I don't want him breaking her heart like he broke mine." "It's a bit different, isn't it?" " I mean, he's her father." " I hated him for a long time." "You never hated him." "You just hated that he disappeared." " It's the same thing." " No, it isn't." "Can't you talk about something else?" "God, you're like a stuck record." "There you go, princess." "Australian breakfast." "Kangaroo sandwiches." "So what was he like when he was on the road?" "A different girl every night?" "Nah." "Nah, he was too fond of the sauce, your dad, to be much of a Romeo." "He'd be passed out drunk backstage by the time all the girls got there." " Me and the roadies had all the fun." " I don't believe you." "Well, good." "At least you're not stupid." " Was it fun?" " Yeah." "Yeah, it was." "The music was fun." "He's a hell of a player, your dad." "Well, he used to be." "I'd watch him from behind the kit." "Nights when he was on form, it was just... magic." "Morning." "Hi." "Olivia rode over here on her moped just to see you." "Isn't that nice?" " How you doing?" " Fine, thanks." "Spend most of my time in here." "Nice, isn't it?" "It's fantastic." "It's like a professional studio." "It is a professional studio." "You could do a version of"Reach Out" in here." " What, the old Four Tops number?" " Yeah." "Yeah, you could." "Why would you want to?" " It's my mother's favourite song." " Ah." " So what are you gonna do with it?" " I don't know." "Think I'll leave it." "I kinda like it." "It's arty, like an installation." "Yeah." "You're right." "Leave it there." "I like it." "Shame, though." "I would've loved to have taken a ride on it." " You like bikes?" " I love bikes." "Hmm." "Daddy's got a surprise for you." "Oh, my God." "Where the hell have you been?" "I've been worried sick." "I was with friends." " Isn't your phone working?" " I had it switched off." "Sorry." "I'm off to bed." "Wait a minute." "What?" "I went into your room." "Why?" "To see if you'd left a note for me or something." "If I were to leave a note, I'd leave it on the kitchen table like I always do." " Look, I was worried, okay?" " You were worried so you broke into my room?" " I didn't break in." "I went in." " It's my room." "It's my house." "So what did you find that's got your knickers in such a twist?" "So?" "I'm worried that you're waiting for a man that'll never show any interest in you... that you'll be hurt." "You worry too much." "He's a lot of fun and he likes me." "I can tell." "You'd like him." "Is that where you were?" "Go to bed." " Eh?" " Stay away from my daughter." " What?" " You heard me." "I worked hard to bring her up properly, to give her a stable and steady grounding." "I don't want her head turned by your crazy, self-indulgent life." "Nice to see you too." "I mean it." "She's too young to understand... that people like you never mean what they say." "That people like you never mean what they say." "First of all, I think she's a lot smarter than you think she is." "And, secondly, and more importantly..." " she's my daughter too." " No, she's not." "You were a sperm donor, not a father." "Yeah, well, that wasn't my choice." "That was yours." "I gave you a choice." "I wrote you letter after letter." "You never replied to anything." " I never got any letters from you." " No, of course you didn't." " That's why you sent me your autographed photo." " What?" "How many other kids do you have?" "Is that the standard rate?" "One photo per shag?" "You should buy condoms." "They're cheaper." "You probably need to economize..." " they way your albums sell these days." " Hey!" "I told her you didn't know about her, but that was for her sake, not yours." "If you don't leave her alone, I'll tell her you knew all along and didn't want her." "You stay away from her!" " I never got any letters from you!" " Bullshit!" "Damn!" "Cheers, mate." "Anybody home?" "Train for London now leaves at platform five at 8.00." "How did you know we were here?" "Olivia told me." "She keeps a list of your tour dates in her purse." "I never knew that." "I heard her sing." "So the big secret is out, eh?" "Does her mother know?" "I don't think so." "We're not really on speaking terms." "That's hardly surprising." "You broke her heart." " It was an accident." " Doesn't matter." "She's a woman." "She wants Olivia to go into the family hairdressing business." "Yes, I know." "That will never happen." "I know." "I don't want to come between them." "I don't want Rebecca to get hurt again." "Well, I don't see how you can stop it." "They're on a collision course." " Can't you talk to her?" " Wouldn't work." "I was about as present a father as you were." "Rebecca has never forgiven me for that." "There is no way she would listen to me on this." " You'll have to do it." " Me?" "You're Olivia's father." "This is family business." "Well, I better go on inside." "We're going back on." " Do you want to play?" " Me?" "Well, I know your stuff." "Bit poncey, most of it, but you can play, hmm?" "I don't have a guitar with me." "Well, Ricky has a spare Telecaster... and the Marshall stack has two inputs." "Ah, I haven't played since I got sober." "Suit yourself." "My friends, meet my son-in-law." "He's going to join us for a song or two." "That's Paul Kerr." " No way." " I'm telling you, that is Paul Kerr." "You're drunk!" " I thought he killed himself." " He did, but he's making a comeback." "This Paul Kerr's house?" "Yeah." "You the girlfriend then?" "No." "Ah, yeah." "That's right." "Of course." "Nice hat." "Bloody hell." "Digger McQuade." "I thought you were dead." "Everybody says that." " Come in then." " Yeah." "All right." "Nice shirt." "He's not upstairs." "Probably riding his bike around the grounds or something." "Mm." "Probably pissed out of his head somewhere." " Has he come to yet?" " Not these days, mate." "He's sober." "Yeah, right." " Who's the girl?" " Oh, Olivia." " She's just a girl." " You think?" "I guessed that much myself." " "Olivia." That's all?" " Olivia Edmonds." "Lives just down the road in Cardiff." "Distant relative of Paul's." "Oh." "Let's go nosey about there, see if I can find him." " Help yourself." "You want a cup of tea?" " Sure." "Wanker." "Sam." "Paul." "How you doing, man?" "You look great." "What are you doing here?" "I was amazed to see Digger." "Yeah." "Everybody is." "You guys aren't thinking about getting the band back together, are you?" "Ha!" "No." "Digger thinks being a rock star is undignified." "What the hell does Digger know about dignity?" " No offence, mate." " Sure." "So, what's the story, Sam?" "I tried to call you when I was in the hospital for, uh, tired celebrities." "Oh, sorry about that." "I was in Japan." "I was bummed about it." "What's the skinny?" "Well, it was the, uh... it was about the press coverage you got when you... you know, you were sick." "I was just thinking it might be time for another "Greatest Hits."" " Another "Greatest Hits"?" " Well, there's a lot of fans out there, Paul." "Well, surely if they're fans, then they'll have all the stuff on the last "Greatest Hits."" "Yeah, you know, a bit of repackaging... bung a couple of B-sides on bonus tracks... standard stuff." "I mean, we'd make a packing, man." ""Greatest Greatest Hits."" "Think about it." "It'd be great for your career." "Okay." "I will." "Listen, I have a question." "What happens to mail that's sent to me through you?" "A girl in the office sends them a photo of you with your autograph stamped on it." "That's it." "Nobody reads them?" "No one reads fan mail, Paul." "It's too depressing." ""I love your music." "Please send me money, I have cancer."" ""I am a homeless person who loves music." "Please send me..." Blah, blah, blah." ""Please help me, I'm having your baby."" "Oh, yeah." "That's a favourite." "I'll see you guys later." "Be good." "If you can't be good..." " Don't start." " Yeah." "Don't start." "Don't start." " Bye!" " Bye!" " What an asshole." " Oh, yeah." " We have to talk." " I don't think so." "You don't want me getting into this with lawyers and depositions... and custody battles and all that shit, do ya?" "'Cause I'm serious." "I'll do what I have to do to get your attention." "I'm listening." "Olivia has the best voice I've ever heard." " She doesn't want to run a hairdressing business." "It's not that there's anything wrong with that." "It's a fine profession." "But she has a gift, and we should encourage her to use it." "So she can be a drunk or a loser like you or my father?" "She's going to be who she's gonna be, not something you want... and eventually she will rebel and then you really will lose her." "I think I know her a little better than you." "Yes, you do, but there's a whole part of her you know nothing about." "Please." "Just listen to this." "I hear her sing every day... 'round the house, in the bath, everywhere." "I don't think you've heard her sing like this." "I won't let her be a singer." "It's too late." "She already is." "I never got any letters from you, you know." "I mean, it was my fault, but I never got any." "See, that night we spent together, it was the best night of my life." "It was better than Giants Stadium in 1988." "We should have been a family." "We should have been together." "I'm sorry." "I loved you the moment I saw you." "It's too late." "It's not, it's not." "It's not too late." "Look." "Look at your dad." "He drives around the country in a bus playing rock 'n' roll." "He's 70 years old." "Tell him it's too late." "You're either alive or you're not." "Please don't come back." "Whoa." "I'm going to the new salon in Bristol, okay?" "So I'll be late back." "There's chicken in the fridge for your tea... and a new packet of Hob-Nobs in the biscuit tin." " Don't eat them all." " Okay." " I love you." " Love you too." "Hello." "Olivia." "Yeah, it's Sam Gervasi." "Yeah." "Well, we met outside Paul Kerr's house." "I'm Paul's manager." "Look, I heard you sing... and I'm very interested in you." "You got a spectacular voice and a very sexy look." " Sorry, mate." " Morning." "Boy, that was close." "Listen, mate, I'm gonna go home tomorrow." "What, to Australia?" "To Loch Ness." "Well, I thought you were gonna hang on for a few more days." "I mean, what is there in Loch Ness apart from the obvious?" "Well, thing is, I've got a girl up there." "You never mentioned that." "Well, I thought you'd laugh." "Thought I'd laugh because you got a girlfriend at Loch Ness?" "Why, is her name Nessie?" "Well, that's the thing..." "Yeah, her name's Nessie." "Nessie McDonald." "Oh." "Yes." "I dare you." "It's Nessie!" "Oh, you!" "It's a lovely name." "Sorry." "Well, anyway, you seem to have cheered up a bit... and you know where the A.A. Meetings are... you know what to do." "Listen, uh, thanks for everything you did for me." "I didn't do it for you." "I did it for me." "Whatever you say." "I wanna go home." "And you can always give us a ring... if you start feeling dodgy." "Yeah, and listen, if you're not in, I could always leave a message with Nessie." "Come on!" "Olivia?" "Olivia, are you home?" ""Dear Mum, Dad's right." "It is about time that you heard me sing."" "That's it?" "Could she be at her father's?" "I don't know." "Shh!" " Who is it?" " It might be burglars." "They don't usually ring the bell." "They might be checking to see that no one's home." "Grr." "What about friends?" "Does she ever stay at at friend's house?" " I've called everyone." "No one's seen her." " What about a boyfriend?" " She doesn't have one." " Are you sure?" " She'd have told me." " Oh, yeah." "Like you told your mother about me?" " Well, she's smarter than I was." " She's 16 for God's sake!" " How smart can you be at 16?" " Shouting won't help!" "Just like a real couple." "Oh, shut up!" "Hey, Gervasi was asking about her when he was down here." "You suppose he's got anything to do with it?" " Who's Gervasi?" " Oh, he's just a bastard." "No, wait." "That is it." "That is it." "That's where that CD went." "That bastard Gervasi lifted it!" " What CD?" "Who's Gervasi?" " I'm going to London." " I'm coming with you." "We'll take my car." " No." "When you get there, it'll be morning." "Your car will get stuck in traffic." "The bike's much faster." "You stay here or go to your own house." " What if she turns up there?" " Digger can wait here... and Gordano can go to my house." " No!" " Yes." "Keep your feet up and hold on tight!" " Don't tell me what to do!" " Don't talk to me like that!" " Just drive the bike!" " You don't drive a bike, you ride a bike." "Well, ride the bloody bike then!" "Use your indicator when you overtake." "Who did you nag before you met me?" " I didn't have to nag anyone." "Before you, my life was great." " Sure it was." "That's why Olivia had to keep her singing a secret." "You forced her underground." "I'd like to force you underground." "It's amazing that I bought a house so close to you." " It's like Kermit." " You mean "kismet." Kermit's a frog, you idiot." "I must've been subconsciously looking for you, felt I was being called to you." "No, you weren't." "You werejust nostalgic for a sexy weekend you had with me there." " It was a sexy weekend, wasn't it?" " I don't wanna talk about that." "Hold that." "And could you, uh, look after that too, please?" "Hi, Paul Kerr." "He's, uh, not expecting you." "I think he's..." "I know, I know." "He's in Japan." "Paul." "What..." "What a surprise!" "Um..." "Oh." "Sam Gervasi." "Um, we haven't met." " Where is she?" " Who?" "Olivia, my daughter, where is she?" " Olivia is your daughter?" " Our daughter." "Where is she?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "Jesus!" "Where is she?" "Oh." "He's gone crazy again." "Would you get the police, Janice?" "Call them yourself." " Eh?" " Where is she?" "She's not here." "She's at the, um, Royal Academy of Music." " What?" " She's singing there today." "I don't know anything about it." "They're auditioning people for next year." "How do you know this?" "I asked her when I spoke to her on the phone." "I asked her if she needed representation." "She said, no, she wanted to go to the Academy to learn music properly... before she'd even consider it as a career." " Where is the Royal Academy?" " I'll get the address for you." "You can never find me an address!" " You're fired, Sam." " What for, talking to a girl on the phone?" "No." "For opening my mail and not reading it in 1987." "Oh." "You thought about that "Greatest Hits" album?" "Maybe." "Call me!" "Thank you." "Next." "Sorry." "Name?" "Olivia Edmonds-Kerr." "I just have "Edmonds"here." "It's a mistake." "It should be Edmonds and Kerr." "Edmonds-Kerr." "Very good." "Proceed." " Hello." "Hello." "Mrs Edmonds, how wonderful that you're here." "Olivia said that you weren't going to be able to make it." " I'm sorry?" " Oh." "I'm Margaret Williams, Olivia's singing teacher." "And you're Olivia's father, yeah?" "I recognize you from the newspapers." "You feeling better?" "Good." "You rock!" "Oh, Dad, you're squeezing my breath out." "Sorry." "I was worried sick about you, young lady." "I know." "I'm sorry, but I didn't want to lie to you... because you said they're been too much dishonesty already... and I knew if you knew I was coming, you'd be upset and I did with Mrs Williams... 'cause I thought if I was with somebody, then you wouldn't be angry." "That's another thing." "Who paid for her?" "Me." "I've got a paper route." " But you're always asking me for money." " That's not for music lessons." "Did you like my singing?" "It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life." "Oh." " Hey!" " Hi." "Mmm." " Hey." " Hello." " You wore it!" " Anything for you, princess." "Mind you, this thing's a bit scary." "Feel like I got a dead animal over me tadger." " It's called a sporran." " A sporran." " Where's your folks?" " I don't know." "They'll be around here somewhere arguing over something." "Better get back." "Why?" "It's our daughter's going-away party." "I'm worried they'll miss us." "You worry too much." "Wow." "That sporran really digs into you." "I'm not wearing a sporran." "Mea paixão." "Spike!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Now, I want you all to meet my granddaughter." "She's gonna say a few words to you." "Come on, darling." "Come on." "Thank you." "Um, I just wanna thank you all for coming... to my going-away party and..." "I just wanna say that I'm gonna miss you all so much when I go to the Academy." "And I'll come home as much as I can." "And also, thank you to all the gentlemen for wearing their kilts." "And... to honour the Scottish part of my heritage." "But, of course, I'm only half Scottish... so to honour the Welsh side of my heritage, I'm gonna sing for you." "But I need a couple of helpers, so can all my friends come up, please?" "Come on." "And..." "And this is especially for my mum." "Come on, girl!" "Come on, girlie!" "You sing!" "Come on, girl!"