"I was a funny little man." "I needed the fans' help just to make it out of bed every morning." "But luckily, I was blessed with the best fans in the league." "For the rest of the day." "I needed God's help." "But luckily, I was blessed with the best God in tIhe league, too." "I don't want to go to Rome today." "Why don't you stay?" "'Cause I hate New York." "well, we live here." "We live in Rome, too." "Will you ever want to make love with me again, Sarah?" "I Iove you so much." "But will you ever want to make love with me again?" "There is nothing scarier in the world than knowing exactly where you want to go but having absolutely no idea how to get there... except maybe knowing where you want to go, knowing how to get there, and then having no idea of who you are when you arrive." "Scasse, bring me the usual, okay?" "Scasse, you know what the usual is." "I get it every day for ten years, okay?" "Yeah, oatmeal." "No, no milk." "Scasse, for ten years I've ordered my oatmeal." "Do I ever once get milk with it?" "No?" "Right." "So why would I want to start getting milk today?" "Scasse, I haven't moved, okay?" "You can't remember where I Iive?" "Scasse!" "Scasse, you found the place." "incredible." "Here you go." "Want the paper?" "No." "Why would I want the paper" "I make you bring me every day for ten years?" "What's this, free today?" "One dollar?" "I'II give you a buck." "Okay." "No, come on, Scasse, Scassoe." "Here." "That's for you ." "Zsarko, please don't let him in again." "I don't want to see him around here anymore, okay?" "Get out of here." "Scasse!" "Sarah!" "So many universes, so many planets, so many countries, so many cities, so many cabs, so many cab drivers, so many streets, so many people, so many years, so many months, so many hours," "so many moments." "Be careful what you pray for." "God, that was always a tough one for me." "And for me, Michael Shiver." "Sarah!" "Look this w ay, Sarah!" "Um, 78th and Fifth, please." "You got it." "You 're Sarah Easton, supermodel." "I see you everywhere." "You 're michael Shiver, cab driver." "I see you nowhere." "What if I told you I was the kind of guy that if you were off runwaying in Spain or whatever it is the hell you people do, and you told me you missed me," "I'd have a thousand red roses waiting for you in your hotel room." " only a thousand?" " Oh, sure." "You 're just so jaded, right?" "Nothing would surprise you ." "That's right." "What if I told you I was the kind of guy who would fly across the universe just to see you smiIe-- just smiIe-- and then I'd turn and go home?" "I'd say you were a man who was looking to get his heart broken." "I never fail in love." "This time you would." "Come on, Sarah." "You're not so hard." " Oh, I'm not?" " No, you're not." "well, we'II never know, will we?" "Two-fifty, please." "Yo." "I don't want your twenty bucks." "I want to take you to dinner tonight." "Goodbye, michael Shiver." "Now, when do you become, Iike, a real priest" "like, get to perform marriages and stuff?" "well, after my senior thesis, which is Sunday, and I hope you'II be there." "I'm in that thing, aren't I?" "No, you said you didn't feel comfortable biting off the head of a baby Jesus doll wearing a G-string covered in baby oil." "Oh, that's right." "I still don't understand how they're gonna let you do this weird performance thing as your senior thesis to become a priest in a chapel." "For many reasons." "It's an episcopalian ordination, my seminary's very progressive, and the bishop" "No shit!" "Where you going?" "Sarah, mon taxi." " I think I'm gonna walk." " alyssa will drop you ." "I'm fine." "I'II call you tomorrow, okay?" " Are you sure?" "AII right." "Ciao." " Bye." " You're here." " You're stalking me." "I Iike that you're here." "I Iike that you're stalking me." "I was just having a harmless cup of tea with some friends." "If there's any stalking going on, it must be coming from your area." "You just gonna be rude to my friends?" "Oh, I'm sorry." " I'm married." " excellent." " I Iove my husband." " As do I." "Is he available?" "should we call and invite him to dinner with us?" "See, those '40s guys, they were smooth, man." "That whole "invite the husband of the girl you Iike" thing--genius." "I mean, total and utter disregard of the idea of a little thing," "like a girl being involved with someone else, could possibly impact their chances of living happily ever after with them." "I Iove that." "He's in Rome." "That's even better." "I'II fly him here." "Fuck it, I'II fly him on the Concorde." "I'II put him up in a suite in the Four Seasons." "I will support both of you in the most luxurious, romantic lifestyle imaginable as I just sit on the sidelines" "like Cary Grant wearing a suit, you know, with an ascot, on some lawn, just smoking cigarettes confidently, waiting." "Waiting for you to love me." "Or better yet..." "Or better yet what?" "I'II tell you later." "There isn't gonna be a later." "There is definitely gonna be a later." "You're good." "But you're not that good, michael Shiver." "Then why'd you come?" "I came by accident." "The only accident is you leaving right now." "But don't worry, 'cause it's never gonna happen again." "Head uptown, please." "There wasn 't a harder time in my life." "I felt destined to leave the man I knew I loved, the man I knew I wanted to have a family witIh." "But with equal certainty." "I knew I would never leave him ." "Kind of like the way I felt about Game 6 of the '86 World Series." "There's no way in hell the Mets could win that game." "But they did." "And I knew they would." "There are those times when you know without a doubt that there is God." "The chills." "You just get those chills." "Hey." " What?" " That was great, Amy." "I think we got it." "What is up with you?" "What?" "Where did you meet her?" "In your cab?" "absolutely." "Crazy, I Iove it." "And she just appeared outside last night?" "Yeah." " Just be careful, michael." " What?" "She's married." "She'II rip you apart." "You'II never know what hit you ." "That's not fair, sally." "You don't know her." "Come on, Robin, she's the most beautiful woman in the world." " See you guys." " Bye-bye, guys." " That sounded great." " Thanks a Iot." " Very nice." " Thanks." "She's a millionaire." "She's the fantasy of every man alive." "She's got this rich, royaI-famiIy, jet-setting husband." "What is she doing fucking around with michael?" "I mean, he's gonna fall in love and get destroyed." "Maybe she wants a real person around her." "Yeah." "michael, her Bohemian cab driver "real friend."" " Yeah." " I don't know." "Look, look, I don't even have her number." "Contrary to what you people might think, it's not that interesting to me." "I Iike her." "She's weird, you know?" "I enjoy her." "If it was easy, I'd see her again, but it's not Iike I'm gonna stake out her house or anything." "I'II probably never see that girl again." "You'II probably never see her again." "exactly." "Why do I have a hard time believing that, michael?" "This an accident as well?" "It's so strange and perfect." "The men kissing them through the bars from the street." "They'd fuck if they could." "I know." "But they can't, so they just kiss for hours." "Kinda like high school." "I Ioved that." "Get in." "The front." "So what was so important you wanted to show me?" "Want some tea?" "Fuck!" "Oh, you wanted to show me your tea?" "I have cold water and Coke." "You wanted to show me your cold water and Coke?" "You're about to be in serious trouble, Sarah." "You wanted to show me your serious trouble?" "I'm not gonna fuck you ." "Good." "I don't wanna fuck you ." "I just wanna make you come." "Never." "I don 't come." "The rule is, the harder you try not to come, the harder I make you come." "Fuck you ." "You felt how I put it down your pussy just now?" "Now I'll bet it's got you wet." "No." "Thanks a lot." "I'm gonna leave my mouth there." "blow really hard." "Then you 're gonna feel my mouth." "You're gonna feel my lips." "Then you're gonna wanna come from just that." "But I'm not gonna let you, 'cause you wouldn 't let me today." "Then, right when you're about to come..." "I'll stop." "Don't stop!" "Come on!" "Fuck!" ""Why, if words at times I know..." ""why, if notions whose faces at times sleep witIh me..." ""why, when all is all and notIhing is alone." ""can I only say again and again," ""your smile slays me?" "I can't ever wait to see you again. "" "You told Sarah Easton that you wanted her to fuck you in the ass like she was the boy, and it made her come while you were making out in the kitchen?" "absolutely." "I Iove you so much." "You're a madman." " Now, who's Sarah Easton again?" " sally, come on." "No, no, no, no, wait." "I know that there was this Sarah Easton supermodel who you were never gonna see again and who you were friends with anyway, but this can't be the same girl, right?" " sally." " No, Robin, come on." "You encourage him." "I would think that you'd be appalled." "Why?" "Why?" "I don't know." "I mean, he's got to be bIudgeoning some kind of feminist ethic or something." "Nope." "A spiritual ethic?" " A social ethic." " No." "definitely a gay ethic." "sally, he sex-taIk fucked a supermodel into coming without touching her in his kitchen." "If anything, the guy's up for some sort of award." "Are you gonna eat with us, or are you gonna check your messages all day long?" "'Cause I have to go if..." "What if I told you I was the kind of girl that if you called me and told me you missed me," "I would have a thousand pine-scented Christmas tree air fresheners hanging in your cab?" "I'm gonna kill him." " Did she call?" " Yeah." " You're meeting her now?" " Yeah." "Okay, I can't be friends with you if you 're just gonna be crazy and kill yourself." "I Iove ya." "I'II talk to you soon." "Yo." " Hey." " Hey." " Did you Iike my message?" " I Ioved your message." "You like the Fax Fairy?" "I Ioved the Fax Fairy." "You want to go get some tea?" "Let's go." "I meant a proper cup of tea, not" "michael, please." "You do not want me like this." "I'm telling you , you do not know what you 're getting yourself into here." " michael!" " Shut the fuck up." "Don't go anywhere." "please untie my hands." "Come on, I want to do something to you ." "Oh, you Iike that, don't you , you little shit?" "You like how I strangle you Iike that, huh?" "Oh, fuck me." "Oh, fuck me." "Did you come?" "No." "Tough luck." "Yeah." "You were faking, right?" "Of course." "I'm sorry." "Everybody knows the first time's always the worst." "I know, with our lack of chemistry and everything." "exactly." "That was so..." "I don't do this." "Neither do I." "I'm serious." "I have never done this before." "Neither have I." "You know I'm never gonna leave my husband for you , right?" "You know that, michael." "well, there are many scenarios here we need to evaluate, Sarah." "That may be, but none of them will involve me leaving my husband." "AII right." "plan "A" would be that you leave your husband right now... and we have a fabulous, wonderful relationship." "Yeah." "plan "B" would be that you don't leave him... and you and I have a stunning affair." " Okay, well, what about...?" " Wait." "Let me just say what I think the plans are, and then you can say what you think your plans are." "I'm sorry." "Go right ahead." "plan "C"... is that although you thought this was outrageously excellent... and you are seriously into me, you don't want it to happen again, but we remain friends." "actually, actually, "C" has a couple of subgroups." "AII right, "C-a" is that you thought it was outstanding, but you don't want it to happen again, but we stay friends." ""C-b" is the same as "C-a,"" "except that we can't remain friends because there's just too much of a chemistry." "A bon vivants." ""C-c" is that..." ""C-c" would be... that..." "I don't want it to happen again, for whatever reason." " could happen." " could happen." ""C-d" would be that you say you don't want it to happen again, but it does anyway." "And plan "D" is that it doesn't really matter what we decide, because God has the bigger plan, and whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen anyway, so it doesn't really matter." "What plan do you want?" "Okay, "A" was, I leave my husband" "Wait, wait, wait, wait!" "I thought of another one." "plan "E" would be that we have this incredible affair for, Iike, a set amount of time." "When is your husband getting back?" "In about two months." "But, I mean, I'II probably see him before then, in Paris." "Whatever, whatever." "Two months." "We have a smashing affair for two months, we know it has to end then, we never see each other again." "Which one do you want?" "Okay, well, I want the "C,"" "the one where we get to stay friends as well." ""C"?" "Yeah, the one that, although I am fantastically, incredibly attracted to you , we just can't do it again, but we get to stay friends as well." " really?" " Yeah." " I hate plan "C." - "C-a," I think it was." "I hate plan "C-a."" "Which one do you want?" "The one where we get to keep fucking, of course." "Oh." "That was just fucking to you ." "No, okay." "Making love, whatever." "But I would say that was pretty much fucking." "well...it had elements of fucking, but it couldn't have been such heroic fucking if we hadn't felt the making love underneath." "Which one do you want?" "Any of the ones where we get to either make love with fucking underneath, fuck with making love underneath, make love, or just plain fuck, so either "A," "B,"" "the "C" that cancels out your crazy "C" and makes us do it again," ""E," or the God's will one, as long as God makes it turn out the way I want." "Look, michael, I really love my husband." "You know, I just-- I can't let an attraction, it doesn't matter how hot it is, fuck up my marriage." "I'm not a child anymore." "So what is this, then?" " Pick a plan." " What is this?" "This is life." "Pick a plan." "I want to keep seeing you , Sarah." "Okay." "Without fucking or any of your crazy, weird, mutated fucking subgroups." "AII right." "The plan will be that I just investigate this little area..." "michael, come on!" " Okay, okay." " I'm serious." "Just let me do this one more time." "No." "Come on." "please, one more time?" "No!" "Come here." " Listen to me." " One more time." " Look, we're gonna be friends" " One more time." "Come on." "We're gonna be fantastic friends who loved fucking each other." "Love it one more time!" "We'II be fantastic friends who did love fucking each other, but we cannot let this happen again, okay?" "I adore you ." "I Iike you a Iot." "You 'II see." "It'II be fun." "You hungry?" "I am starving." " well, come on." " Okay." ""Candle ligIht." ""Steel blue-gray clouds over small lights." ""Sweet balance and snowflakes on the steps waiting." ""like me, for you to fall. "" "Come on!" ""If only you were able to move," ""to go, to fly, to fall," ""I know how deep your smile," ""how hard your love," ""how far your longing, how wild your pleasure," ""if you were able to fall." ""To see you there, then, would tickle me crazy." ""to see you then in the embrace of that fall." ""But I already know that view." "You Ihave tIhat smile. "" "This is the best burger I have ever had." ""Your eyes for anotIher bring that" ""that love, that joy, tIhat fall." ""Therefore I hum, I sigh," ""I giggle, I kiss," ""I smile, I know, I bow," ""I go," ""having had the joy," ""having had the very joy I ever desired for you," ""only for you," ""and your fall... for him. "" " Do you believe in God?" " Yes." "Do you ?" "I'm trying." "Where did you learn to write, michael?" "will you come on?" "We're late!" "That was really beautiful, what you wrote me last night." "That Fax Fairy seems to have a little crush on you, I think." " It was really beautiful." " will you come on?" " Wait!" " What?" "Okay, we can go now." "glad you guys made it." "sally, this is Sarah, Sarah, sally." "Hi, Sarah." "sally." "Nice to meet you ." "Are you in this?" "No, my girl Robin is the priest." "I'm from the Bronx." "religion has come in hard ways." "Unforgiving, unforgiven, we must resurrect, or we will die." "It is a question of the authority of God..." "Chicken heart." " ...what you are willing..." " Sheep heart." " ...to endure..." " Pig heart." "...for your God!" "Have you ever tasted a human heart?" "Oh, have...a heart." "I'm scared." "So...what'd you think?" "I liked it." "It was like, um..." "ChippendaIes meets The Exorcist." "excellent." "You are so wacked." "I Ioved it." "I thought it was phenomenal." "I mean, I'm way too stupid to understand any of it." "I mean that in the most politically correct way, of course." "That's not true, michael." "What did you think, Sarah?" "I was blown away, I really was." "I was very moved." " really?" " Yeah." "I mean, I thought it was, you know, satiricaIIy searing without being dogmatic, and it was personal without being preachy." "I actually identified with it, you know, just as a woman, trying to struggle with life and love and God." "I think more people than just that should see it." "I really do." "I Iike her." "She coming to dinner with us?" "Yeah, if she stops spouting out all that crazy smart talk she has." "If not, I think you two should just go to some fucking Nietzsche seminar and sally and I will rent Basket Case and go to mcdonald's." "well, no, if you 're gonna rent Basket Case," "I think we would have to come." "exactly." "I really like her." "And I say she's great." "What have I been trying to tell you people?" "She's nice." "You know, she's funny, and she's not uppity at all." "She likes La Tacita and Basket Case, come on." "And she's really intelligent." "How old is she?" "My age, little younger--28." "really?" "excellent." "She looks younger." "No, she's an adult." "Man, that's great." " She really likes you , michael." " You think?" "Yeah." "You can tell by the way she looks at you." "Yeah, definitely." " We had sex last night." " really?" "Don't say anything." "We're not supposed to do it again." "We're just supposed to be friends." " Why?" " Here she comes." "And she has a penis, so it makes it really hard to talk about her when she goes to the bathroom, because she pees quite quickly," "like a boy." "He has this fascination with my dick." "They thought you were funny, they thought you were interesting." "So they think I'm dumb." "Yeah, they think you're dumb." "Of course they think you're dumb." "No, they loved you." "You were great." "Hey, I was in the top 2%, studying to be a veterinarian, when I started modeling." " really?" " Yeah." "You wanted to be a veterinarian?" "Yeah." "Wow." "That's wild." "You were in the top 2%?" "God." "Top 2% of all models." "That's incredible." "The top 2% of england, actually." "I know." "You're very smart, Sarah." "You're much smarter than I am, that's for sure." "I was wondering what was up with you and your crazy cab thing." "What do you mean?" "Not that there's anything wrong with driving a cab, just..." "I don't know, man." "I'm totally grateful for that cab." "I've learned incredible things in that cab in ten years." "What about your writing?" "What writing?" "Your beautiful writing." "That's the Fax Fairy." "The Fax Fairy writes to you ." "You want to come up for tea?" "Sure." "Okay." "I've always loved apartments where the elevator opens right into it." "Kind of like a fort." "Yeah, and your mouth could be the moat." "The fuck is that supposed to mean?" "I don't know." "I'm delirious." "What's the time?" "It's, Iike, nearly two or something." " Maybe it's too late for tea." " No, it's perfect." "So..." "Excuse me one second." "hello?" "Hi, pumpkin." "hello." "How are you ?" "Yeah?" "I miss you, too." "Just got in." "I wanted to make some tea." "...before I go to bed." "Who are they?" "Have you sent them my love?" "No, you can't believe that stuff." "AII right." "Okay, you go to the gym... and I'II talk to you when I wake up in the morning." "Okay?" "I Iove you, too." "Yeah, I miss you ." "Okay." "Good night, sweetheart." "Bye." "He's going to the gym now?" "Yeah." "What's it, Iike, seven in the morning over there?" "Something like that." "usually about the time of the night that I wander into the kitchen for the Iast time to polish off the end of the crumb-top donuts." "You don't look so bad." "I'm gonna go." "But we haven't had our tea." "I know that." "I just suddenly got kinda tired." "Don't go." "What about plan "C-c"?" ""C-a."" "What about plan...?" "If you do that again, I'm gonna have to fuck you kinda hard." "What?" "If I do what again?" "That?" "You remember that thing you said you wanted me to do to you?" "bullshit." "That's what I thought-- you're all talk and no action." "What do you think you're doing?" "Stay calm." "Don't struggle." "Don't go anywhere, okay?" "Sarah, you 'd better untie your little rope." "Your game's getting kinda boring." "Take your pants off." "I don't think you 're in much of a position to be telling me what to do." "Take your pants off." "You know what I have for you?" "bullshit." "You know where it is?" "Is it in your mouth?" "You're sucking it now." "You're getting it hard." "Yeah." "Guess where it is now." "bullshit!" "You want it in your mouth after I put it in my pussy?" " Yeah." " Huh?" "Do you ?" "Yes." "I don't think so." "Oh...you Iike having the cock, don't you, Sarah?" "You like being in control, don't you ?" "This is what you've wanted all along, isn't it?" "You 're fucking yourself while you fuck me, aren't you ?" "Oh, you Iike being the boy, don't you ?" "Yeah, rub it up." "Go rub it on your pussy." "Go rub it on your pussy." "Rub it on that while you fuck yourself." "Fuck your pussy." "You 're gonna come so fucking hard, aren't you ?" "Yeah, fuck me down there." "That was so..." "You little shit." "I want..." ""I long for you in my arms." ""When you 're there." "I know a magic" ""that stars and sands and smiles and secrets whisper." ""I know a moment that rains and dawns" ""and moons and loves devour." ""I know a calm, a chaos, a close," ""a capture that my heart dies for." ""I know you," ""there, then, in my arms," ""in the shadow of my yearning for you," ""there, then... in my arms forever. "" "hello?" "I miss you here." "Oh, baby." "I so wanted to wake up with you this morning." "I wanted to see your sweet smile." "I just felt kinda weird." "I understand." "And not 'cause of you, or..." "It's okay." "I understand." "I just wanted to tell you that I miss you." "I miss you, too." "Will you call me later?" "absolutely." "Okay." " Bye." " Bye." "So come on, what happened with you and Sarah after you left?" "michael's sort of friends with Sarah Easton now." "Oh?" "Where did you meet her?" "Not in your cab." "I know, right?" "So what happened?" "Nothing." "I just walked her home." "Did you have sex last night?" "You did, didn't you ?" "I don't know that I'm at liberty to discuss what happened last night, sally." "Come on." "Robin's given her mom the bIow-by-bIow on every one of your girlfriends since we've known you ." "This has nothing to do with Joan." "Even if Joan was not here," "I just don't know that I would be able to really discuss it." "Oh, he likes her." "This is more than kiss-and-teII, isn't it, michael?" "Stop." "I can't believe because you really like her, you won't tell us about your sex." "That's so unfair." "I'm not saying we had sex last night." "You know..." "she might have done that thing that I asked her to do against my refrigerator that night." "No!" "That whole thing that...?" " sally." " What thing?" "That thing." " What whole thing?" " No, Mom, michael's right." "He's really not at liberty to discuss this right now." "Come on, michael, Iet's go to the bathroom and talk about this." "No!" "Stop!" "No!" "The real James Toney would come into fights overweight and had to lose-- have dramatic weight losses in the past." "and, uh, had fougIht, and sometimes he looked good, and sometimes he looked better than others, sometimes he didn't look so good." "I have never been this hungry in my entire life." "I know." "It's ridiculous." "Where are the people?" "I don't think I can talk anymore until I eat." "Isn't there someone we can call?" "Who can we call?" "We have, Iike, 16 foods coming over." "Okay, we have chicken wings and meatloaf from Harriet's." "Yeah, Chinese food from Dynasty." "And that weird Indian stuff." "Here, take some money." "No, I got it." "Just get the dishes." "What is it, the Chinese?" "AII the food!" "hello!" "Where have you people been?" "What, you take your chick to atlantic City or something?" "Come on!" "We're starving to death over here." "Twenty..." "what have you got, thirty-two?" " What do I owe you ?" " You want to just keep it?" "That's good." "You 're lucky I give you any tips, you crazy people, for taking so long." "AII right." "Oh, my God." "Oh, how excellent is this?" "michael, why will you never take any money?" "Because I'm taking you on a date." "How about if I want to take you on a date?" "You call me up, you ask me out." "If I say yes, we go on a date." "And I get to pay?" "No." "I still pay." " Why?" " 'Cause I'm the boy." "Look, I really appreciate how generous you are, but, you know, I have money." "Yeah?" "So do I." "I know you do, but, you know..." "What?" "Think you make more than me, miss fancy supermodel?" "I get very good tips in that cab." "Awesome." "AII right, how much money you make?" " A day?" " Yeah." "250,000." "250,000." "Times ten..." "times twenty... forty-five..." "Fifteen hundred..." "AII right, so you make a little bit more than me." "But you don't know all about my secret, various hidden accounts and monies that I have stored around." "I bet." "'Cause Whittaker on his best night was better than Leonard." "on Whittaker's best night." "I've never been more full in my entire life." "I know." "It's ridiculous." "Isn't there someone we can call?" "I don't think we should talk anymore until we shit or vomit." "Yeah, or at Ieast burp or fart." " How gross are we?" " I know." "Oh, do you have the receipts?" "Why?" "well, I think we should have them so we can refute the "Sarah Easton is an anorexic" story that will inevitably surface at some point in your career." "Shut up!" "You ." "What?" "You are so beautiful." " Sarah." " Yeah?" "will you make love with me?" "It's not Iike you to ask." "No." "I mean..." "I want you to make sweet, soft, gentle love to me." "Yeah?" "You afraid I might not Iike it?" "I Iove the way you touch me." "I Iove every way you touch me." "I know this is probably pushing it... but, anywhere in this sweet, tender lovemaking thing that we're gonna do, could a soft bed be involved?" "Give us a call." "Number's 475-1 550." "Line 3." "Max Kellerman ." "You 're on tlhe air." "Hello." " Hello, this is Chris." " How ya doin', CIhris?" "I saw..." "Does that feel good?" "incredible." " Can you still feel me?" " Are you kidding?" "It's incredible." "Did you come as hard as you usually do?" "What do you think?" " Maybe." " Did you come?" "Oh, come on." "Women are these weird, "try to decipher all their undulations, does it actually have anything to do with coming?" people." "Guys are pretty straightforward." "actually, you don't make any noise when you come." " Yes, I do." " No, you don't." "You kinda look like you 're taking a shit when you come." "What?" "Yeah, you go like this." "You go..." "Stop that!" " I do not look like that!" " Yeah, you do!" "Oh, my God, I'm never coming again." "Fine, I'II just never come again, then." "Nah, baby." "You hate the way I Iook when I come." "No, I Iove how you look when you come." "You're still hard." "I know." "It's weird." "It's been a while, though." "He likes you ." "He wants to impress you, doesn't want to go away." "Is it always like this?" "No." "only with you." "And when I take a shit." "I have to go to Spain." "For?" "Some..." "That'II be nice." "When do you have to go?" "Tomorrow." "I'm gonna be in barcelona by myself for the weekend, and then PhiIippe's gonna meet me in Madrid." "I'II miss you, Sarah." " It's only a week." " I'II miss you." "I know." "I'II miss you, too." "Sarah..." "Yeah?" "will you spend the night with me?" " I'd Iike to." "I just" " I understand." "Just make it seem too real, you know?" "I know." "I understand." "Wait, don't go yet." "...cross-cuIturaI studies in humanitarian origins, the scholarship for further studies goes to Robin AIterman." " Yes!" " Robin!" "So you can't come with us?" "No, no." "I've been slack boy lately." "I've really got to drive." "Where's the girl?" "She couldn't come?" "She's in Spain." " Working?" " A little bit." " The guy's there." " Yeah." "So how'd you leave it with her?" "well, actually, I sent her a little note that she should be getting kinda soon." " What did you do?" " Joan, I'II see you later." " What did you do, crazy man?" " Thanks for coming." "Can you believe that your bizarre thing won that prize?" "It's insane." "When you're sure that God has the same intention as you -- not even intention, inspiration -- that it's finally your turn, the rush, the calm, the excitement, the lack of words to describe that feeling... those cIhills." "You just get those chills again." "But the sacrifice of love, MicIhael, the sacrifice of that kind of love--and life-- when does God teach us how to do that?" "There weren't enough roses in barcelona." "They had to fly them in from the Canary islands." "You are the craziest, most passionate man I have ever met." "This is incredible." "I mean, there are so many beautiful roses here." "I can't believe you're not here to see them." "And the smell in here is so amazing." "Where are you?" "call me!" "Okay, I'm at the Ritz in barcelona." "well, yeah, obviously you know where I am." "And I'm gonna be in Madrid in the morning." "so if I don 't hear from you, I'm gonna call you, okay?" "I want to talk to you, you crazy man." "Wow, this is so amazing." " philippe!" " Hey." "How are you?" "What are you doing here?" "Just leave them here." "Come in." "I thought you were not coming until tonight." "Oh, I missed you." "I was just reading about the thousand red roses I sent you yesterday." "What are you talking about?" "Sit down." "Coffee, breakfast?" "It says in there I sent you a thousand red roses." "It also says we went out for dinner with Gianni and DonateIIa until five in the morning." "You know what these people are like." "They always get things totally wrong." "So I didn't send you the roses?" "I wish you had." "Oh, is that why you're not happy to see me?" "I am so happy to see you." "Fuck!" "Why won't you fuck me?" "Are you fucking someone else?" " No." "Are you fucking some" " Are you fucking someone else?" "No, I am not fucking someone else." "Are you?" "philippe... are you having an affair with someone?" "No." "But I haven't been completely faithful." "Why ?" "What?" "What do you want from me?" "You say you love me." "You say you want a family witIh me." "You won't even make love with me." "I'm sorry." " What?" " When was this?" "Two different girls." "You don't know them." "Who was this with?" "I don't know." "Six montIhs ago, a year ago." "Twice, maybe." "I don't want you as a friend only." "I need you as a lover, too." "bullshit!" "bullshit, philippe!" "I'm just your perfect little fucking prize." "That's all I've ever been." "I just make some little accessory to your damn entourage." "Why do we always have to be in the right place at the right time?" "Saint-Tropez in the summer, we have to go to the Bowery Bar when we're in New York, we have to eat at San Lorenzo when we're in London." "I mean, why can't we just, you know, get Chinese food and sit on the floor and talk about God or something?" "Why can't we just order Chinese food and sit on the floor and talk about God?" "Eating Chinese food with God?" "What the fuck are you talking about?" "I'm so tired." "I'm just so tired." "Maybe we just--we just need to get away, both of us." "We should go to bail." "You just don't get it." "I'm always away." "I'm always away." "So you want me to go?" "I don't know." "I really don't know what I want." "I may be superficial sometimes, and I may love my toys and my money, but... you 're wrong about one thing." "I do not only see you as a prize." "You're the woman I Iove." "You 're the woman I've lived with for three years, and who I want to spend the rest of my Iife with." "You're my wife." "I'm the wife of a man who fucks other women." "Just let me know... when you know what you want." "AII right?" "Just let me know." "I love my story and my chocolate." "You're so nuts!" "I'm home." "Where are you ?" "I can't wait to see you." "Call me as soon as you get this, okay?" "I don't care what time it is." "You can wake me up." "I want to talk to you." "If you're driving, just come over, okay?" "I'll be here." "Bye." "Please leave a message." "Wait till the beep." "Hello." "Michael." "Wake up." "It's Sarah." "hello?" "Yes." "I have a delivery for Miss Easton." "Okay, come up." "michael, this is just way too frustrating." "I really want to talk to you." "This is driving me crazy." "well, I'm at home, okay?" "I can't wait to talk to you, so please call me the minute you wake up, okay?" "Bye." "Coming." "Good morning!" "Oh, my God!" "Yo, maitre d'." "Hey, can we order?" "We're starving over here." "I've got to tell you," "I did not Iike you being away at all." "I know." "So, you got my little package?" "My God!" " You know where I was?" " Where?" "I was in my bath, that was filled with hundreds of rose petals." "No way." "Yes way." "I cut the buds off, and I brought them back with me." "I can't believe I wasn't in that bath with you." "It is so good to see you." "Can I have a little kiss?" " What do you want?" " A little kiss." "AII right." "Oh, come on." "Bigger than that." " A medium kiss, then." " Okay, a medium kiss." "That was not a medium kiss." " Yes, it was." " No, that was a big kiss." "No, that was medium." "That was big." "God, I missed kissing you, Sarah." "I missed everything with you, michael." "sleep." "Just sleep." "I have absolutely no idea where we are or what's been happening." "I only know that we have fucked forever." "Oh, I know." "It's crazy." "I would suggest that went to eat, but I'm afraid we'II just start fucking again." "I know." "It's ridiculous." "So, do you want to go and eat?" "Sure." "You want to go to my place and order in?" " No, Iet's go out." " cool." " You always do." " You're gonna drop the camera." "There they come!" "Sarah!" "Yo, Sarah, who's that?" "Where's PhiIippe?" "Sarah, where's PhiIippe?" " Who's the escort?" " Who's this guy?" " I'm just a cab driver." " Cab driver?" " Hey, Sarah." " Hi, Derek." " How are you?" " I'm good." "How are you?" "Good." "You want to eat?" "I think so." "Um...do you have a table?" "For you, of course." "Steve." "I think I went to college with your wife." "Bette?" "Yeah, she went to Bard, right?" "Yeah." "What's your name?" "michael Shiver." "Are you a writer as well?" "No, actually I'm a cab driver." "Right." "So, you guys wanna eat?" "I don't know." "Do you want to eat?" "Sure." "Let's go someplace else." " Come on." "We're gonna go." " Okay." " See you soon." " See you ." " I'II tell Bette I saw you." " Thank you." "Nice to meet you." "Bye-bye." " Where do you want to go?" " I don't know." "You wanna go to La Tacita?" "No." "I hate that place." " Okay." " Can you go to 78th and Fifth, please?" "Why did you want to leave back there?" "Oh, please." "You hate it there." "You hate all the places that I want to go." "What are you talking about?" "I don't always want to go to these cheesy, scummy little places, you know." "I don't always want to have to sit on your floor and eat Chinese food." "I want to go somewhere that's civilized, and you never want to go anywhere like that." "I Iove all your suggestions." "I'm perfectly fine to go anywhere you want to go." "I was fine back there." "AII of my husband's friends were there, okay?" "You would have gotten all sullen." "I don 't understand." "I'm fine." "I thought that you said you weren't a writer." "I'm not." "Who's that?" "Where's Philippe?" "Sarah, where's Philippe?" "Who's this guy?" "well, what was that back there with Derek, that little exchange?" "What?" "I went to school with his wife." "I knew they opened a restaurant." "What's the big deal?" "I do not Iike being lied to, michael." "Fuck!" "Is it a problem for you that you're rich and I'm poor, Sarah?" "Money has got nothing to do with this." "Is the novelty of a weird, Bohemian cab driver guy wearing a little thin?" " You said it, not me." " So it is." "You think I'm that shallow, huh?" "You think that I pick my friends by what they do?" "michael, we have really different lives, and you haven't seen my Iife." "We've been doing everything on your terms, okay?" "This has not been reality." "This is not real." "What about it hasn't been real, Sarah?" "They way that you look at me after we make love?" "The way you call me at seven in the morning?" "The way you call me twenty times a fucking day?" "That's not real?" "You're just lonely without your husband here?" "I don't think so." "I think this is totally real." "I think it's been complete reality." "I don't think you can deal with it." " I can't right now." " You can't right now?" "No." "What is that supposed to mean?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "Did you ever hear of a book called The Blameless?" "No." "Maybe." "I don't know." "I wrote it ten years ago when I got out of college." "It was, Iike, a big deal." "It was on the bestseller list." "I was the toast of the town, blah blah blah." "I got to see your world." "Parties and producers and Paris and London." "I became somebody that I didn't know and somebody that I didn't really like really quickly, Sarah." "It wasn't worth it, so I took their money and I came home." "So, what?" "You're a cab driver with a million dollars in the bank?" "Not a million." "But if I don't make my hundred every night in the taxi," "I'm not gonna go hungry." "That's just a little bit too precious for me, michael." "I don't look any different to you now, Sarah?" "Our worlds aren't any closer now that I have a bank account and know where to eat in Paris?" "If I really am that person, why the hell would you be with me?" "unless that's who you are, too." "Maybe I am." "I knew you were lying to me." "I couId not hold on to who I was in the world that came with what I did." "If and when I learn how to do that," "I will write again." "I'm a cab driver." "I never lied to you." "bullshit!" "I have been me with you, okay?" "You've known everything." "You've known who I am, who I've been with." "Who is real and who isn't?" "You are so selfish." "You're just a selfish person." "Sarah." "I, uh..." "I Iove being around you." "I'm so sorry that you think that I'm selfish, or that I'm a child, or that I'm a liar." "No, michael." "Stupid thing to say." "I didn't mean it." "You're so generous." "No." "If that's how you feel, I can try to act more like..." "I don't." "I don't." "What's in your heart, Sarah?" "I thought I had gotten to you." "I thought that I had gotten into your heart." "You have." "It's just that my heart changes." "I don't have any answers." "I told you that." "Where is the trendiest, most expensive restaurant in New York?" "No." "I want to go to your house." "No." "I only want to go to the trendiest, most non-divey, non-Chinese food, not-on-my-fIoor restaurant in New York." "I want to spend the night with you." "I want to wake up in your arms." "Sarah?" "This machine takes messages for Sarah and Philippe." "Please wait for the tone." "Sarah, are you there?" "It's MicIhael." "Pick up." "Are you there?" "Sarah?" "Sarah, it's michael." "Sarah, are you there?" "Open the door." "Was that a mistake as well?" "I'm here with you now, philippe." "I'm here with you." ""I've wanted to tell you for a while now." ""I wanted to say it as you reached for a teacup in your kitchen" ""that night after we fought about" ""'why do we always have to eat Chinese food on your floor,'" ""and then made up." ""I wanted to say it as the moonligIht shone in on you" ""as you slept in your bed the first time we made love there." ""When I felt your heart racing against my chest" ""in your suite foyer in Spain when you first saw your roses." ""even thougIh I wasn't there." ""But mostly I wanted to say it the last nigIht I saw you," ""as I held you in my arms," ""looking down at your precious face" ""knowingly looking up at me, still inside you " ""quiet, motionless, but so inside you." ""I wanted so badly to tell you that." ""The words each time graced my lips like an imposter," ""only to fall away like some great blizzard" ""that was taken out to sea to rain its fury on the dark ocean alone," ""unbeknownst to any hearing." ""I pray that you can hear them for what they are," ""feel them for what they are, and not mar them with the knowledge" ""that they stand apart from your ability to reciprocate them." ""Please take them in your heart" ""and feel them with your eyes closed and your soul open" ""for just a moment." ""my voice speaking them softly in your ear with a kiss..." ""when you smile, when your head lightly moves to dance," ""when your tongue finds my lips," ""when you ramble over a glass of wine," ""when you sit naked after we've made love," ""when you act boldly, when you laugh," ""when you squeeze my hand," ""when you call my name in a gruff whisper," ""when your heart races on my chest in a close embrace," ""when you love me." ""What I'm sad about is selfish." "I'm sad at God's timing." ""I'm only a man, and as a man, I miss you." ""I miss you terribly." ""I miss your kiss." ""I miss your smile." ""How I miss your smile." ""But most of all, I miss the moment that hasn't happened yet," ""the moment when you let yourself fall for me." ""What makes it hard for me is knowing how much you care for me," ""how much in a way you do love me," ""how much you would enjoy smiling wryly" ""as you hurled yourself backwards off the cliff and said," ""'CatcIh me. baby. '" ""If I didn't know that, I could make you a villain," ""me a victim, and soothe myself." ""But I can't." "because it isn't the truth." ""The truth, we both know." ""The truth is, not today." ""I know that you're not leaving Philippe for me," ""and I wouldn't want you to." ""I would want you to leave him for you." ""I also know you would never fly a million miles" ""just to see me smile at you." ""Someday, maybe, but not today." ""So I guess I'd better disappear, SaraIh." ""I know you 'll be okay, and soon I will be, too." ""And maybe, just maybe, if God so desires," ""the day will come when, as friends," ""we will find ourselves accidentally strolling along the white cliffs of Dover" ""or the mountain rocks of Mendocino" ""or the bonny emerald north of the Scottish seaboard" ""or the glistening harbor of old New York." ""And from tIhe heights, in the stars," ""amongst the angels whose arms will cradle us" ""in a moment neither of us was told about" ""but knew like our oldest happiness," ""we will look into each other's eyes" ""and know it is today." ""It is today." ""And whether that day is tomorrow" ""or next week or next year or next lifetime," ""I will finally get to tell you to your sweet face," ""the face that I will miss more than I could ever tell," ""that I love you." ""I love you." ""Oh, baby, I love you." ""And you'll smile wryly, close your eyes," ""and say, 'Catch me, baby.' and fall. "" "I was a funny little man." "I needed the fans' support just to make it out of bed every day." "But luckily, I was blessed with the best fans in the league." "For the rest of the day, I needed God's help." "But luckily." "I was blessed with the best God in the league, too." "And, boy, did He come to play." "That crazy God always comes to play."