"DO NOT APPEAR in this film instead, WE HAD TO SETTLE FOR" "luckily, WE convinced" " Cinq-Mars and Roberge..." " Jeannine's voicemail." " This is Jeannine Pronovost." "Please leave your message." " Hello, the Hang Seng is up 4% , the TSX is rising 3.2% , the DAX by 2.1 % , followed by the Dow Jones." "So we recommend buying energy and financial stocks, which should upswing today." "And, Jeannine, it's "Please leave a message," not your message." "Happy Camper" "Come on, move!" "(honking)" "(honking)" "(honking)" " Move it, shithead!" "Move!" " 91 1 ." "is this a emergency?" " Yes, madam, it's AN emergency." "There's been a hit-and-run at Gauchetière and Cathédrale." "A Hummer hit a cyclist and sped off." " A instant." " That's "AN instant."" " l alerted police to the incident." " Accident." " An ambulance is underway." " On its way." " Did you get the plates?" " The licence-plate number." "I was waiting for you to ask." " And what might it be, sir?" " MJ5 V27, madam." " Thank you, sir." "Your report shall remain confidential." "This call is a anonymous" " AN anonymous." " They'll be there shortly." "Thanks again, Mr Saint-Mars." " Cinq-Mars." " You have 47 new messages." "Message sent yesterday at seven forty-five p.m." " Pierre-Louis!" "It's your girlfriend." "I mean your ex. I've had it with this arid relationship." "It's going nowhere." "You're uneventful." "You're not a bad lay:" "found my G-spot in 47 seconds, which, in my book, is an all-time record." "Bravo." "You're apathetic." "Uninvolved." "I can't penetrate your space." "I'm just a bodily function" "Look at me!" "Thanks." "From now on, you'll have all the time and space you need." " Hello, Maryse. I just heard your cease-and-desist message." "Maryse, sometimes life is-- (telephone) I have a call." "Good luck in your new life." "Thanks for everything." "Pierre-Louis Cinq-Mars." "Attention, everyone." "Advise all our Mortel shareholders to sell off." "A meltdown is imminent!" " Goddamn it!" "Pierre-Louis?" "You're calling a Mortel sell-off?" "Why?" "It's been climbing steadily for months:" "from $8 to $182." " Have I ever made a bad call... since our association?" " You're never wrong." "Pain in the arse..." " Ass." " Anyway, it's the principle." "Aren't we a team?" " Partners." "Jean-Marc?" "The door." " We don't do this every day." "Oh sure, I knew" "Mortel would crash." "Intuition." "Pierre-Louis is psychic." "He saw it coming." "As usual." "Of course, I'll tell him." "Fine." "Right." "Goodbye." "James Craig wanted to thank you." "I told him you foresaw the Mortel drop." "Did you read my Beautiful Mines pitch?" " Yes." " Gotta move." "It's the deal of the century." " The century has 96 years left." " Seriously, what do you think?" "(beeping)" " Your idea smells of insider trading." " Not at all!" " How do you know this stock will go up July 25?" " That's when they're making their big announcement." "OK, here's the deal." "They found a huge deposit." "And it's not copper, it's gold!" "Don't ask me more. I just know." " As I said, insider trading." " So what if it's insider trading?" " Shh-shh-shh!" " Who's to know?" "We'll be rich!" " Don't touch me!" " Right." "Your space." "Watch out for his bubble!" "Careful!" "How's this?" "Far enough?" " We've always been legitimate." "We're not changing now." " Damn, you're so "triple-condom." How can you be so straight?" "This'll let us retire in 2 years!" " l had enough to retire 2 years ago." " You piss me off." "Nothing ever happens with you." "(screaming)" "I swear, it wasn't me." " The perpetrator who perpetrated the crime you reported " "this perpetrator -- is Jacques Hammer, known to police as Jackhammer." "So, this Jackhammer... whom we arrested subsequent to your report, will appear in court... to answer charges subsequent to your report." "No witnesses collaborated with the police, whom I represent." "I presume you refuse to collaborate with police against said Jackhammer?" " No." "It's my civic duty." " Really." "Okay." " l'll give you a killer makeover." " From now on, you are under the witness-protection program:" "surveillance 24-7, 365 months a year until the trial." "You'll be unrecognizable." "You have 4 hours to get organized." "Then you'll be incognito to family, friends, colleagues, for the duration." "You are no longer" "Mr Saint Mars" " Cinq-Mars." " Whatever." "You're Marcel Paquette." " Any other names?" " Ginette Sénécal." "But it doesn't suit you." "Sign here." "We're taking you out of commission to the perfect hide-out:" "a safe place, where bikers will never suspect... the place." " Will I be locked up?" " Au contraire." "On the contrary." "You'll be out in the wild." " The wild?" " You'll meet with Jackie Pigeon." "A woman who's very... womanly." "Just tell her Sgt Bédard sent you." "She'll know that..." " You sent me." " Right." "DUMP YOUR GARBAGE" " Ten bucks." "(alarm ringing)" "It's $10 for the pick-up, $20 for the trailer." "The tour's free." "I'm Jackie Pigeon." "I own the campground." " Pierre-Louis Cinq-Mars." " That's weird." "Bédard was talking about some Marcel Pockett guy." " Right, sorry." "Marcel Paquette." " Like I said." "Pockett." "Don't worry, I'm no stool pigeon." "There's the convenience store." "Need anything?" "It's convenient." "Here's the lake." "Drinking water." "Just don't swallow." "There's the water slide, and the kids..." "More kids." "On the slide." "See this?" "My father built it all." "My dad... is the Beethoven of woodwork, but now his mind's elsewhere." " The architecture's..." " Very beautiful." "Picture-postcard perfect." "Look..." " lt's big." " Three thousands sites." " Three thousand." "Numbers don't vary." " Yes, they do!" "Up to 3,350's." "There's the gay village." " Really." " The gay "borough,"" "since amalgamation." "Our Chinatown." "Also known as Egg Road." "Here at Camping Pigeon, we're not racist." "Their food smells a bit..." "but they're the ones eating it." " This is nice." " lt's the new posh district." "Insurance agents, car salesmen, real-estate people." "High society!" "But they're not snobby." "They need us too much." "Stop... here!" "Hello, Richard!" " Hi, Jackie." " Come!" "So... this is your spot." "Wish I could do better, but we're overbooked." "It has... potential." "(barking)" " Shh-shh!" "Shh!" " This is how it works." "People work for me." "I don't pay, they stay for free." "The place gets upgraded, I charge more, so boarders save even more." "Get it?" " Perfectly." " That's a first." "Now we gotta find you a job." "Can you do landscaping?" " No." " Plumbing?" " Not really." " Plastering?" " No, but I once had a plaster cast." " How'd you get rich with no skills?" " How do you know I'm rich?" " lt's in your face." " This isn't my face." " Cripes, there must be something you can do." " No, I'm completely inept." "I spend my day surfing the Net-- - Internet!" "That's it." "You can cable my trailers!" "High-speed Internet." "That's worth a lot!" "We got it." "You start tomorrow." "It'd be groovy." " That's wrong. "lt'd be." You don't say that." " You are so right." "I don't make many mistakes, but I can't shake that one." ""That'd be" groovy." "(cell phone ringing)" "Hello?" "No, leave it. I'm coming." "Hey, move your trailer." "No parking 9:00 to 10:00 or you'll get a tickette!" "Bye, Richard." " Bye!" " Look at that dumb bugger." "(dog barking)" "Come on, Bugger, let's go get a look at that weirdo." "Come." "Better not leave it like this." "You'll get sea sick." " That's how I like it." "I always camp like this." "Okay?" " lf you say so." "Bugger!" "Shut your damn yap, little bugger!" "Bugger!" "I'm Richard." " ls there a grocery store in town?" "I can't find what I want." " You might find what you want in town, along with the guys who want you." " Pardon me." " Whoa, Marcel!" " Pardon me." " That'd be extra." "What does Simon say?" " Like, how much?" "It's, like, posted." "$1 for one. $1 .75 for two." "One or two?" " Two." " Good." "$1 .75." "Missing a nickel." "Buzz off." " ls it possible to get meat for these buns or buns for these wieners, perchance?" " Perchance?" "No such luck." "Too bad." "Out of stock." " $8.95 for these wieners!" " What do you care?" "The government's paying." " Precisely. lt's profiteering." " Shut your pretty mouth." "Open it at mealtime." "Meantime, pay up." "(PA announcements ):" " Hear ye, hear ye!" "Remember, July 25 is Campers' Christmas!" "Come one, come all!" " Howdy, stranger, c'mon over." " Who, me?" " Yeah." "Ange-Albert Pigeon." "And you are?" " Marcel Paquette." " Nice here, huh?" " Seems to be." " Built it with my own hands." " Oh, yeah?" "Bravo." " Marcel, gimme a hand." " What?" " Grab this." "Over there." "One, two, on your shoulder." "It wasn't a campground before." " l see." " l woke up one day, and gave it all to my Jackie." "I said to myself, I'm done. I can go now and be with my wife." "I've been waiting for the Lord's call ever since." " For how long?" " Five years." "Stop spinning and put it down!" "I figure the Lord will call me back, given all the messages I leave him." " Mr Pigeon!" "Mr Pigeon!" " You still here?" " Who were you expecting?" " St. Peter, for Pete's sake." "Listen... I'm working on a new project." " So Jackie said." " Gotta keep busy." " True." "Have a nice day." " No, come with me." " My bags." " Leave them." "Come with me." "Help me out here." "Lift this." "Feast your eyes on this." "Know what this is?" " A scale model?" " No, sir." "This is... my coffin." "(music)" "Gotta finish it soon." "I could go any time." " Yes." " The doctor..." " Doctor?" " Dr Whatsisname..." " Dr What's-His-Name..." " That big yellow house painted blue!" "The doc, he told me... I could die any day." "Seems my lungs are full of sawdust." "I cough up shavings now." " Smoking doesn't help any." " That's not it." "I only took it up last week." "Figured it might speed things up." "Anyway, my conscience is clear." "Jackie's taken care of." " Excuse me" " Excuse me, but I gotta touch this up now or my corpse will get splinters." "Go on, now." " Bienvenue takes an "e."" " Why?" "Wellcom doesn't." " Who cares?" "Come on!" "Join us." " Even better." "The girls'll be happy." " Mr Hammer?" "Your ball's paid." "You can go." " What were you saying?" "The cage is noisy." "Yeah." " Whenever you're ready." "Close the door behind you?" " The container's not 'til next week." " Here's your hamdog!" " What?" "For me?" " What d'you do for a living?" " l'm a broke" " No." "I'm an Internet installer." "I'm installing high-speed throughout." " High-speed Internet." "Jackie'll charge for that, then give speeding tickets." " Let me dress your hamdog." " This place is a lot of fun." " No kidding." " Hey, do you play horseshoes?" " No..." " Thought so." "We'll match you with Fabrice." " Good one!" "Put the dorks together." " Sacré bleu!" "is ziss reef-raff making fün of Fabrice?" "What else is nü?" "Oh!" "I am Fabrice!" " Late again, you bugger." "This is Marcel." "Your horseshoes partner." " Enchanté." "We'll sauté zeir butts." " Yes..." "I'm not sure." " Oh, come on." "It's easy." "A leetle trainingue and we'll be champs!" " A lot of trainingue, bing guy." " l'm sorry we don't have any bagelles and lox." " Why am I not surprised?" " Your gear's ready for installage." " Installation." " Sargeant!" "What a surprise!" " Hello, my luscious Jackie." "Missed you." " What'll it be?" " The usual." " No maple donuts." "But I got nice peanut-butter custard with jimmies." " As I said, the usual." " What's up?" " No maple donuts." " Any developments?" " Yes, I'm on vacation." " Vacation?" "What about me?" "Who's protecting me?" " Don't you get it?" "I'm under cover, civilian." "You're under constant surveillance." "I got my eye on you constantly." "Don't worry." " Here." " Lovely Jackie, when are we gonna make little munchkins?" " He's crazy." "Yes, dear?" " Empty tank." " We'll fill it. lt'd be..." "That'd be... $16." " lt was $14 last week!" " Oh, right... lt's the Middle East." "Wait outside." "Hey, Marcel, get to work." "I don't pay you to slack." " You don't pay me." " OK, I don't pay you not to slack, how's that?" "Now, buzz off." " Let's ride, guys." " Bédard!" "Where is he?" " Whadya want?" " Calm down." " You calm down." " Okay, okay, I calm down." " Good." " Got a problem?" " Yes!" "There are bikers on the campground!" " ls that all?" "(laughing)" " What's so funny?" "I don't get it." "is this some kind of cop joke?" " They're WannaBees!" "(laughing hysterically)" " l still don't get it." "What's so funny?" "What're WannaBees?" " So, Ma, how was your week?" " Not bad." "Weather was nice." "Tuesday, it rained though." " Good for the lawn." " But we're not allowed to water on Tuesdays, so Jackie fined us all." " The lawn sucks it up." " You should wear more than that." "It's cold out." "Put this on." "(oohing)" " l used to water it 15 minutes, now it takes half an hour." " Thanks, Ma." "It's for later." " No, put it on right now, Serge!" "(laughter)" " Let's go." " Whatever you say, Serge." "(laughter)" " Thanks for tea and cookies." " Need help with the dishes?" " You're too kind, boys." "Serge!" "Do up your helmet. it's neater." " Yes, Mom." " Wait, you have a blemish here." " Mom..." " Have a good week." " Yes, Mom." "Bye." "Gotta go." " What's the point of hiding me right next to a biker bunker?" " l'm trying to tell you, WannaBees are failures, twits." " You mean, idiots." " That too." "The Losers' Club of bikers." " Exactly. I don't want their bonus points." " They're harmless, relax." " Easy for you to say." " So I say it." "This is perfect." "I'd be stupid to hide you here." " You said WannaBees are stupid." "If so, they think like you." "They'll figure out I'm here." " No, look... they're not even smart enough to think stupid." " Whadya mean, $20?" " That's globalization for you." " Hey!" "Mole!" " My eyes are bad!" " Your brain's too small." " Hello, Jackie." " Hey, Pimples." " Hello, Whiskers." " Yo, Jackie!" " Brake." " Mole." " Scratch 'n' Sniff." " No kiss?" " l was clear." "No more juicy kisses." " No more juice?" " No more ever." "Speaking of juice, that pimple's not going away." "(laughter)" " Guys, you can go." " lt's OK, Pimples." "We'll wait." " l don't get it." "Why don't you love me anymore?" " You're boring." "Nothing ever happens with you." "I'm a mover, I'm a shaker." "You're the only biker out of action." " l promise I'll change." " Good." "Change girlfriends first." "Bye, Pimples." "(engines roaring)" "(arguing)" " When can I go home?" " The procedure's proceeding." "I spoke to your partner." "All's well at work." "No worries!" "Why?" "Don't you like it here?" " No." " You're not supposed to." "Hideouts are meant to be... hideouts." "A word of advice, for your sake." "Blend in." "That's the secret." "Blending in here." " To the boss's homecoming!" " Thanks, guys." "First of all... it was very kind of you to take care of my bail." " Only normal, Jackhammer." " But you missed the guy who squealed on me." "And that's not normal." "Unless you think that it's normal." " We don't have rats in every cop shop." " Must I do everything, for chrissake?" "That's the 4th guy you can't find." "Fax this posting to all chapters and affiliates." "I want everyone on this." "Got that?" "And when we find this little fart-face... we'll blow him away." " Hey, Whiskers." "Jackhammer wants us to do this guy." " Get a good look at his mug, so you'll know it when you see it." "Camping for ldiots" " Bugger!" "Come and eat." "C'mere, little Bugger." "C'mon..." "Faster." " Seems we got a little problem." " Perhaps." "Maybe." " Y'know we ain't bad guys-- - l-l never th-thought you were." " You sh-should see a s-speech therapist. lt helped me a lot." " Tell us what you know." " l don't know much, but I can forget what I know, if you" " Are you crazy?" "Don't forget anything." "You're gonna sit down, and fix our Internet." " Internet?" " Yeah!" "Heard you're good at it." "Because we can't... access the porn sites." "I hereby convene the wannabee assembly." "(buzzing)" " There's no quorum." " Yes, dope." "The computer nerd makes 1 1 ." " Our Charter," "Sec. 6, Art. 4, says, "The voting member--"" " Hey!" "You calling me a dope?" " l second that." "Duly recorded." "Next item." "Elect president." "That'd be me." "Item 2." " Amendment" " No, Whiskers." ""Adoption of Agenda."" " We all read it. lt's fine." " l suggest a change." " You and your damn Code Morin." " Without it, we end up brawling." " l suggest inverting items 6 and 7." " N-namely?" " Item 6:" "Zanakis trial." "Item 7:" "Zanakis murder." " Who seconds that?" " lt's his first offense!" " So?" " This states, before 2 offenses, a guy can only get his legs broken, and a warning's required." " You're soft." " l went through the juri... judi..." " Jury's prudence." " ln the case of Deep Throat vs the Wild Cards, the Wild Card boss dick" "dictated, "We'll give him one last chance."" " Zanakis is only 16." " He's not a minor to the Feds." "is our Charter federal or provincial?" " Guys!" "We can't kill him before condoming him if he's not guilty." " Wh-wh-who g-gives a sh-shit." " That's true. I second." "Who's "for"?" "One, two, three..." "One, two, three, four..." "Ten!" "The nerd abstains." "Passed." "(PA announcements )" "(glass breaking)" " You're making progress, Fabrice!" "Where's your partner?" " He's off biking with Pingples!" " With Pingples?" "Wheng?" " A long tyng ago, certingly." " Gol-dang it!" " Thangs for the ingformation!" " Wengcome!" " S-s-s-so... (stuttering)" " So, we won't settle this today, I guess. item 5:" "Treasurer's Message." "Brake." " l got bad news." "I put our coke profit in Mortel." " That's bad?" " Don't you read?" " The small print?" " We sunk $100,000 into it." "Now it's worth $1 .95." " Our Treasurer, the genius." "(cheering)" "Guys!" "That's errony!" "Brake, I hope you got a better idea." " l'm thinking Pélador." " No way!" "Their new acquisitions have inflated the stock." "The debt ratio is much too  high." " What do you know, lnternerd?" " Me?" "Nothing..." "No more than anyone else." " You seem to know more than Brake." " Where would you invest?" " Me?" "I won't tell you what to do, but if you don't want to lose money, I'd recommend small, vigorous companies like Astracom, Medilogic, or, even better, try HHT." "A major investment has a ripple effect, thereby producing a short-term upsurge in stock return." " What're you saying?" " l'm talking about a lot of money." "(chattering)" " Duly noted." " Sorry about your balls." " lt's important for you gentlemen to buy under-evaluated stocks, fix a target price, set dates, and stay your course." " Whoa, whoa, whoa!" " Who let her in?" " Not me." " Scratch did." " l t-traded guard duty with Mole for my bike gloves." " Piss off!" "Not true!" "Besides, your damn gloves don't fit!" " So, g-give them back." " Take 'em full of fist!" "(yelling)" " Scratch, I told you Mole's too blind to stand guard." " Yeah..." " Whadya want?" " He's..." "He's staff!" "You can't kidnap him!" " Calm down, honey." " Don't call her "honey."" " Piss off, Serge." " Don't call me Serge!" " Oh, yeah?" "Serge." " Hey, hey, hey!" "We didn't touch him." "We needed him... for reading The Globe online." "(laughter)" " Well, I lost 90 minutes." "At $1 7.00/hr, that's $25.50." " Here, darling." "Keep the tip." " Can we continue?" " Yes, don't mind me." "I'll wait for Marcel Pockett." " OK, go on." " As I was saying, diversified cash-flow is paramount." " l got $10s... $20s... a driver's licence." " You got your licence?" " Not mine. I said "a."" " Don't put all your eggs in one basket." "Buy stock in many companies." " So, we should buy Pélador?" " No!" "I just said that would be moronic!" "And... it's quite obvious, you are not morons." " Yeah... no." "(concurring)" " l'd look at Techtra Planning, lnfratel Cell, GEM International, to diversify." "I call this lateral diversification." "(sneezing)" " Bless you." " You got allergies too?" "Me, it's hay fever." " You got allergies?" "So does Brake." "He's allergic to money." "(laughter)" " May I go on?" " Yes." "Excuse me." " Above all, buy lots and lots of HHT, a dynamic technology company whose shares will undoubtedly rise." " Yeah, bye-bye, HHHT." "(chuckling)" " You got all that down, Brake?" " l got no pencil, but..." " Simpleton." " Your Internet's fixed." "Your nudie sites require a credit card." " ls that enough for you?" "(laughter)" " l was terrified seeing my picture." " l fixed that." " No." " Boy, that picture sure hasn't slept around much." "I prefer your new look." "is that company you mentioned, HHT, really profitable?" " Probably, but it's hard to explain." " But their cost-benefit ratio is weak at the moment." " But given the weighting" " Even so." "The last analyst I consulted said their securities had been head-and-shoulders lately." " Jackie..." "You never expressed interest in this." " l haven't told you every everything." " Where did you study finance?" " On Internet, Commerce magazine," "Fortune, Vos Affaires, Barron's, The Wall Street Journal" "Reader's Digested Selection." "So, that's what you do." "Lucky. I would've loved to do that." "But maybe I'd be bad at it." " You couldn't be any worse than my partner." "That bozo tried to buy Transworld Systems at 12.53 Euros last month." " But the Frankfurt DAX index lost 65 points that month!" " Poor Jean-Marc." "He's the kind of guy who thinks the CDNX is a Standard  Poors code." " What a moron." " Yes." " Obviously, he never foresaw the Mortel dip." " No, certainly not him." "What about you?" "Did you?" " For sure, it was certain." "Just had to look at their..." "EBlTA." "Earnings Before Interest," "Taxation and Amortization." "(Mexican music)" " Marcel, why are the bikers after you?" " Well, I reported a biker making a hit-and-run, and in retaliation, he blew up my car." " Wow!" "Attempted murder and a car bombing, cripes!" " Jackie... there's no lotion." " Oh, sorry." " You like getting a rubbing?" "Good." "We're missing a player." " No, thanks." "I'm reading a great book on finance and management accounting." " You'll read anything." "Here." "As wide receiver, you'll be A-1 ." " Yeah, show us your stuff." " Quit schmoozing Jackie." " What for?" " For your health." " Great, Marcel!" "Nice catch." "Attracting the wannabees' attention by dating Jackie is dangerous." " You said they were harmless." " The gang isn't dangerous." "It's the individual members." "Pimples... is Jackie's ex." "And jealousy can turn a guy ugly, you know?" " Marcel!" " Are you OK?" " Fine." " You lost everything!" "Don't get heartbroken too!" "I like you!" "I'm attached to you!" " l appreciate that!" " Marcel, the game's not over, wake up!" " Wake up." " Dow Jones is dormant." "C'mon, let's take a walk." " No, I'm not sure..." " Well, we are." " Hey, Jackie." "Wow." "Wanna come to the bunker party?" " Sure!" "Marcel!" "Party tonight." "That'd be great!" " That will be..." " Not "that'd will be" great." "He's dazed." "(loud music playing)" " Dear friends..." "Dear friends!" "(loud music and conversation)" "Shut up!" "I propose a toast... and a couple of lines in honour of our buddy, Marcel, a.k.a. Dow Jones." "To Dow Jones!" "(all):" "To Dow Jones!" " Who pulled off a deal we don't understand, and made us a ton of cash." "That, we can understand!" "Dow Jones!" "Dow Jones!" "(chanting):" "Dow Jones!" "C'mon, I'm getting cobwebs in my cards." " Poker requires a great deal of patience and intelligence." "One, please." " lntelligence?" "Brake's playing." "Two cards." "(chuckling)" " Piss off, 3 cards." " Brake doesn't play, he just throws in money." "One card." " T-t-t..." " Two?" " Throw me three." " One card." "Back off." " $500." "(all):" "Ooh..." " lt shows you're playing with our money. I'm in." " Me too." " l'm out." " F-f-fold." " Who the hell shuffled this shit?" "(all):" "You!" " Gentlemen," "2 kings, 2 queens." " l gotcha, Dow Jones!" "Straight flush, hearts!" " No, Mole." "You have 2 diamonds." " Stupid glasses!" " Your specs, Mole!" " lt's OK, I hardly need them." " Three 9's." "Screw it, I win!" " Wait a second." " l discarded this 9 of hearts." "How did you end up with it?" "Cheater!" " He's f-frigging crazy." " Wha'd you call me?" " A cheater, darn it." "It's wrong." "Completely unethical!" "Darn it!" " ls that your only swear word?" " Yes... darn it." " So what if I cheat?" "You're playing with our cash!" " All the same, it's the principle, asshole." " l'll put an asshole in your forehead!" " Think I'm too dumb to figure it out?" "You insult my intelligence, darn it!" " Well..." "Dow Jones has character." "(half-hearted cheering)" " What would we have done with you if Brake had blown your brains out?" " Had your dad make me a coffin and sent the bill to the government?" " l'm surprised to say, I would have found your death a drag." " You know, Jackie, I'm surprised to say, I find it nice that you would've found it a drag." " Funny, you remind me of Jason, one of my exes." "A real champ." "He played horseshoes all day." " Why did you break up?" " He played horseshoes all day." "But he had time to teach me." "I could teach you a couple of moves for the tourney." "Stand here." "(voices speaking Italian)" "(voices speaking Italian)" " l'm not sure it's a good idea." " l'm not sure it's a bad one." " What I mean is..." "shouldn't we talk first?" " Oh, you wanna talk!" "What about?" "Any particular subject?" "Politics?" "Sports?" "Plants and gardening?" " Nothing to say?" " No." " Done talking?" " Yes." " So, be quiet." " Hi, Jackie." " Hello." " Am I intruding?" " No, just hanging out." " ls Marcel in?" " Marcel..." "Marcel?" " Yes?" " l gotta talk to you." " Well, I'm a bit busy now." " lt's a bit important now." " Can't this wait?" " l can't wait." " Guess I'll go." " Guess I won't come." " Where are we going?" " Far." "(gunshot)" " Ah!" " Know why I like it here?" "I can shoot all I want, no one will hear." "(yelling):" "Dayyyyyy-O!" "And it gets better." "I got one shot left." " l don't get it!" "You're screwing me over!" "You're supposed to protect me!" " Protect you, right." "But I don't want you screwing Jackie, or I'll stop protecting you." "And screwing without protection is dangerous." " Why should you care?" "(chuckling)" " Why should I care?" "Why?" "Know what you are?" "Do you?" "You're like mud on my shoe." "Now, listen up, Mud..." "Jackie is mine!" "Did you know I read the future?" "Yeah..." "And in that future, Jackie's my wife." "Her old man's resting happily in his coffin, and I'm the co-owner of the Camping Pigeon." "I got 5 years until early retirement, Mud." "I'm fed up hearing planes fly over my crappy suburban bungalow." "Twenty-five years of listening to those jumbos jet." " Jumbo is" " Hey!" "Jackie must be waiting in your trailer?" "..." "Yeah." "I'll be picking you up in the morning." "(starting engine)" "Good night!" "My love." "Hey, Mud." "Hope last night wised you up." " Marcel, you and Bédard!" "Cheating on me already?" " We were called in urgently for the investigation." "We went to headquarters to make identifications... to identify." " When can we get back at it?" "Sex in your trailer's great." "But it'd be better with you." " l'm exhausted." "I didn't sleep well." " Kiss me..." " l didn't brush my teeth." " You still smell good." " l might have staphylococcus and that's deadly." "It can turn into flesh-eating disease." "Under the circumstances I really should..." " Oh." "Okay." " Mr Pigeon?" "Mr Pigeon?" "Ange-Albert?" " Hello." " Ah!" "(cackling)" " Still here." "Just trying out my padding." " May I ask a favour?" " Better now than later." "The Lord..." " Will come for you, I know." "Can I use your phone?" " Sure." "Behind you." "If you like it, I'll leave it to you." "It's not as much as Jackie will get, but you're not her." " Jean-Marc Roberge, broker." " l'm glad you answered." "I really need your help." " Pierre-Louis!" "How can I help you?" " The bikers are on to me, and the protection cop's crazy." " What can I do?" " Get me on a flight as far away as possible." "Pick me up tonight at the Camping Pigeon." "You got that?" "Camping Pigeon." " Pigeon... got it." " Get 2 big suitcases, and empty my bank account." " But, Pierre-Louis... I already did!" " Fine." "What?" "!" " Yep." "Remember?" "You signed power of attorney over to me..." "So, I got your money." "And you are broke." " You're a son-of-a-bitch, Roberge." " Yeah!" " Sonofabitch Roberge, as in, Roberge investment Brokers." "I cleaned you out." "Remember your weasely little partner?" "Turns out, he's better than you." "And that's not all." "That big deal on the 25th?" "I'm doing it." " No, Jean-Marc, don't!" " How can I put it?" "Not that I don't like you, but I don't like you." "See you at your funeral." "Okay?" "Ciao." "(dial tone)" " You're not working?" " No, I can't get into it." " Good timing." "I can't get into it either." "So, where were we?" "Hey, what's your problem?" " l think we should back off a bit." " Well!" "You're pretty good at backing off, huh?" "You guys are all the same." "One good lay, and it's finished." " We never even finished." " No?" " You better remember the time we unfinished, because you can bet we won't be refinishing it again." "Got that?" "(dog barking)" " Hello, pooch." "Nice doggie." " Hey, Miron." "Do you like camping?" "Listen." "(tape recorder):" "... as far away as possible." "Pick me up tonight at the Camping Pigeon." "Got that?" " Guess we found where the cops hide their friends, huh?" "You gotta find these guys." "Regular fee." "Get rid of each and every one of them." "Discreetly." "Quickly." "One more thing." "For sure, these guys are disguised:" "moustaches and stuff." "That shouldn't throw you off." "You're the best!" " No special rates for midgets." "(growling)" "Don't even try it." "That's $10 plus $20." "Plus $30." "$60." " Glad you're enjoying your work." "You seem good at it." "I think you got a future here, Mud." " Bruno!" "I was just looking for you." " Hi, Jackie." " That outfit looks great on you." " Thanks." " Listen, we're organizing something for Dad's birthday tomorrow." "Nothing fancy." "It's just for friends." "People we like." "Loved ones." "You're invited." " l'd be delighted to go with you." " That's great!" "See you then!" "Well, well!" "Jesus, you were there." "Oh, well." " And tomorrow, I'll be the one there." "Oh, well." " Good health!" " Don't say the word "health"!" "It's bad luck." "Let's go down to the basement." " Don't tell me there's a basement here!" " Sure there is!" "I needed a little place to be quiet and alone." "Ain't this something?" "Surprise!" "(chainsaw buzzing)" "(dog barking)" "(barking)" " You're alone too." "No friends either?" "Here." "Fetch." " My skylight!" " Bugger!" " Bugger!" " l said, stay outside." " Christ!" " You!" "Stay away from my dog!" "You bugger!" "(singing Happy Birthday)" " Hip-hip-hip!" "Hip-hip-hip!" " Blow them out, Dad!" " Make a wish!" " May I die quickly!" "(spitting)" " One left." " Who wants cake?" " This is great, we're getting closer." " Not so close. I can't breathe!" " l thought you and Marcel..." " Marcel?" "Oh, Marcel." "No, that was nothing." "I forgot all about him." "I'd love some cake!" "Oh, yes." "This looks good." "It's moist!" "Want some?" " No, thanks." " A taste?" "You're sure?" " l'd like to start." "Where's Fabrice?" "Always late." "(all):" "Fabrice?" "Fabrice!" " Coming!" " Dang, where deed I put my equipmeng?" "Bloody hell." "Bloody bleeding hell!" "Miron." "Come on, Miron." "I was always fair with you." "I never gave you up." "Hey, we started out in the same gang!" "Damn, let's go." "I'm terrified of cement." "Did I pick up that damn accent for nothing?" " That jerk and his patio, mixing cement non-stop." " l'll look into it later." "Listen." "A couple guys missed work this morning." "Did you send them to a trial or something?" " No." "Which ones?" " Bernard, Jean-François, Fabrice." "Crap, something's wrong." " Call your bosses." " Bosses!" "Let's not panic here." " You sound unsure!" " Listen." "If I call, a whole squad will raid your place." "That'll end our deal." " Oh, right." " You should've said so." " We'll figure this out." "Marcel, I..." "Ah!" "I have something very important... to tell you." " l'd rather you left." "I don't want Bédard to see us." " But he sent me." "You must not walk around alone anymore." "And lock up when you're in here." " Fine." "So, please close the door behind you." "What's up?" " Well... there may be some risk that your life may be - l say, "may" be - in, like, some kind of danger." " Pardon me?" " Yes." "A couple of my workers disappeared." "They were also witnesses for Bédard." ""Were." lt's not like they're dead." " Wait..." "You mean, all your workers are police witnesses?" " Don't exaggerate." "There are five... who aren't." " l do not understand." " Look, I haven't told you every everything." "Last year," "Bédard came looking for a hideout for his witness-protection program." "And, well... I said yes." " What's in it for you?" " Well, if you must know, I provide the hideout, he provides the labour." " And you bill the government." "Bravo." "Clever sting." " Thank you!" "I mean, sorry." " So, why would Bédard worry about me?" "If someone wants my hide, it's simply less work." " Come on." "Bédard's not out to get you." "He's protecting you!" " Really?" "Then he hasn't told you every everything." "The other night, he threatened me so I wouldn't..." " So, that means... you got nothing against me!" " No, Jackie" " Oh, Marcel!" " What're you doing?" " You wanna talk first?" " No, that's fine." "(organ music) I got an idea!" "Wait for me." " Can't it wait?" "I can do it really fast!" "(growling)" " Guys." "I reported Jackhammer." "I'm not Marcel Paquette, I'm Pierre-Louis Cinq-Mars." " No, he's kidding you." "Funny guy." "Come on, let's go kid someone else." " So you're the Saint-Mars rat." " That's Cinq-Mars." " What?" "You say "Saint-Lawrence," not "Cinq-Lawrence."" " But you say "Sank-Catherine."" " Yeah..." "Must be an epception." " l came to propose a deal." " What kind of deal?" "No down payment, no interest, don't kill me before July, 2024?" " Fuckin' good one!" " The kind that'll make more money than you ever had." " So, what is it?" " lt's called "insider trading."" " ls it criminal?" " Yes." "Tomorrow, there's a listed company whose shares will skyrocket" "50, 100, 200-fold or more." "I'll do the trade, you give me a cut and protect me 'til I can get out of here." " You're asking us to double-cross our bosses?" " Kind of." " How do we know this inside straddling works?" " lt's in his horoscope?" " l got privileged info about a company, which only goes public tomorrow." "That's what insider trading is." " What's this company called?" " Come on. I'll only answer that if you accept my deal." " Well, you're a fast one." "You sniffed my trap." "(buzzing)" "(sniffling)" " l hope this is safe." " lt's supposed to be." " Where'd you get the tip?" " Jean-Marc." "Voilà. lt's done." "We just have to wait 'til tomorrow." "(growling)" "$0.22 a share." "Still not moving." " Are we millionaires?" " lt's at $10.48!" " That's the time." " lt's down again." "Are you sure about this?" " Sometimes, it starts off slow, but then it climbs steadily." " And the market closes at 5:00." " You might close at 5:00 too, Dow Jones." " Good one." " $44!" " Forty-four cents." " Oh." "Wow." " Wannabee or not Wannabee, that is the question." " Dow Jones, I knew you could do it!" " Hey, look!" "It just got unlogged!" " That's weird." " Don't tell me it crashed." " l don't get it." "We pay our bill monthly." " Monthly, but not every month." " Remind me to kick him out at the next meeting!" " But we're bikers. I thought we might not have to pay." "Let's use one of our cards!" " Yes, but that would require Internet, and the connection's cut, you twit!" " Let's use my office computer." " l'm not going back there, it's too dangerous." " We'll provide bodyguards." "No shortage of goons here!" " The killer will still recognize me." " No, that's just it." "He won't." "Come on." " This is ridiculous." "(PA announcements )" " 2:48 p.m.?" " No, $2.48!" " Cool!" " Here, hold this." " Hey, guys, give us a minute alone." "The deal fell through." " No, it's fine. lt's at $2.59." " $2.92!" " That's not what I meant." " What, then?" " Well..." "I didn't tell you every everything." "(PA announcements )" "The golf-club owner next door found out they're expropriating to build a airport." " AN." " An new airport." " "A new."" " Shut up!" "An new aeroport, Mirabel 2." "So I decided to fix the place up and get top dollar for it." " Wait, are you saying the government's paying to upgrade your property, then buy it at a premium later?" " Our taxes are high enough" " Find another excuse." " l can't!" "I've lost everything!" "I just found out they're not expropriating." "How much is a campground next to a airport worth?" " Where's Santa Claus?" " Quiet!" "Come on." "Where is he?" "Damn it." " lt's despicable!" " Your trading's not much better." " No, it's not at all the same thing." "I'm doing it to get out of this!" " Why do you think I'm doing it?" "You think I aspire to living here and taking care of a campground?" "Working at the store, the gate, the snack bar, running around 18 hours a day." "Think I want to grow old building coffins by my trailer?" " Jackie, I apologize." "I may have come on a little strong." " Subtract the "may" and the "a little."" " Look" " We gotta go to the bunker." "At least you got good news." "Ahhh!" " Ahhh!" "What now?" " Run for it!" " Hurry, get in the car, come on!" " The parade car?" " No choice!" " Say your Ho-hos and Bye-byes." " Ho-ho!" "Merry Christmas!" "Ho-ho-ho!" "Merry Campers' Christmas!" "Ho-ho-ho!" "May you enjoy a 75-foot trailer forever!" "Jackie, we're gonna get killed!" " Shut up and keep waving." "(screaming)" "(gunshot)" "(panicked screaming)" "(squeezing)" " Jackie?" " John!" " What?" " Marcel!" "Are you OK?" " Yes." " Floor it!" " So, Miron, heard you're into cement." "Pain in the arse, huh?" " Bugger!" "What happened here?" " Quit fooling around!" " We like walking like that!" " And it's not easy." " How was the bank?" " Great." "Grade-A service!" " Here it is, the cash!" " Oh, yes!" " Whoo!" "Man!" " Your share." "One." "Two." "Three." "Five." " Yes, right." " That's six, seven." " We said 19.2% ." " Yeah, hold on a sec." " Y-you p-put way too much water in the ce-cement." " No way!" "I read the directions on the bag." " Well, we owe you one, Dow Jones." "If we can do anything, say so." " No, that's fine..." "Actually, yes." "I have a favour to ask you." " Don't worry," "Mortel will recover." "Trust my instincts." "Knock first!" " Don't worry, we'll knock hard." " Message from Pierre-Louis." " An urgent message, ending in Emergency." " Farewell, Bruno." " Goodbye, Jackie." " Don't look so glum." "You wanted the campground, not the girl." "You got it." " Yeah, but at your price, I'd rather have the girl." " You don't know how much the girl would've cost." "Ready, Dad?" " Not bad, Jackie." "Going on a romantic trip with your father." " Gotta take care of him." "I think he's depressed." " Oh, yeah?" "Can you die of depression?" " Oh, Daddy." "What's keeping Marcel?" "What's this?" " Who's this?" "A new boyfriend?" " My old, new boyfriend with his new, old look, I'd call it." " Marcel?" " No, Pierre-Louis." " Marcel!" "(barking)" " Richard." " Huh?" " For the dog." " Bugger!" " Guys, I hate walking like this." "Let's go." " Stop here." "What's this?" "Wawana-Bees, Brokers Specializing in insider Trading" "Bye, Pimples!" " Bye, Jackie." " Bye, guys." "(all):" "Bye-bye!" " You never told me how it went with Bédard." " Very well." " Really?" " Mm-hmm." " That louse got off easy." " You think?" " Yes." "Right. I didn't tell you..." " Tell me what?" " l thought I did." " No, you didn't." " How could I not have?" " Not every everything." " You should've known." "You must've been bad at Clue." " What every everything haven't you told me?" " Come along, come along." " Nice, huh?" " Yes, very nice." "Bruno, I don't wanna stay here anymore." " Come on, we won't have 5 murders in 2 days again." "I'm a retired cop. I protect you and ensure your protection." " That's not it." "Look at this." "I'm not spending summers with planes overhead." " Oh, that little bitch!" "Jackiiiiiiiiie!" " Jackie!" " Oh, hi, Dad." " l can't find my pills." " They're in my trunk." " Would you get them?" " l'm busy, looking outside, and inside." "Outside, inside..." " So hand me your keys." " Pierre-Louis, could you" " Here." " Oh, there you are." " Go to the car, I'll unlock it." " Thanks, you're nice." "(explosion)" " Finally!" "(screaming)" " Dad!" "Are you OK?" " l'm sick of not dying!" "Bunch of idiots!" " What do we do now?" " Get the hell out!" "Go on!" " Wait for me!" "Wait!" " Where's Marcel?" " Marcel!" "He remembered the cash!" " Here, good dog." "Come!" " Let's move it!" "Adaptation:" "Tony Roman, Kathleen Fleming" "Subtitling:" "CNST, Montreal"