"(suspenseful music)" "(bird caws)" "(dog barks)" "(wind chimes jangle)" "(knocking)" " Good afternoon, sir." "My name's Peter Walkins and I'm going door to door selling my crop of oranges." "They're only $2 a bushel." "They're loaded with vitamin C." "Each one is hand-picked and carefully packed to assure maximum customer satisfaction." "You're not gonna find better oranges in 200 miles of here." "And like I say, they're only $2 a bushel." "Why don't you go ahead and try one?" "(spit)" " Not interested." " Hey, you boys like oranges?" "Look at that thing." "It's a thing of beauty." "Just picked this today." "They're packed with flavor and they're full of vitamin C." "It's good for you." "You guys are growing boys." "You need your vitamin C." "Here, why don't you try a bite?" "Give that a try." "There you go." "Now take a bite." "Tell your mom and dad how good they are." "They can come buy some from me." "Now is that good or is that good, huh?" " Oh, gross." " What?" "You rotten little... (thud)" " Hey, you owe me a big tip this time." "Hey, Phil." " Morning Barb." " Can I fill you up?" " Sure you can." " So, have any plans for this weekend?" " Yeah, I was thinking about doing some huntin', fishin'." " At Camp Buckaroo?" " No, that's too far." " Oh, yeah." "Oh God, it's him again." " Come again?" " That orange guy." "He creeps me out." " Who, this guy here?" " Yeah." " Huh." " Hi, can I help you?" " I'm here to see the owner of this establishment." " He's busy." " I can wait." " He's here looking for you again." " Just tell him I'm busy." " Dale, this is the third time this week he's been here." " Crazy Pete." " I'm telling you, he's up to no good." "Did you see how he looked at me?" "Hey I didn't sign up for this." " Barb, just calm down." "He's upset because we're not buying oranges from him anymore." "It's business, that's all." " I hope so." "He's not available." "I'm sorry." " Well." "You go ahead and tell Dale that I left him a little present." "(pop)" " Oh..." "Loser." " What a meatball." "(country music)" "(pop)" "(squish)" "(pop)" "(sniff)" "(door creaks)" " Barb, is that you?" "Did you forget your purse again?" "(clatter)" "Barb?" "(ominous music)" "Peter, we're closed." " We're offering premium succulent oranges for $2 a bushel." "Each orange is hand-picked and delicately packaged for ultimate customer satisfaction." "How many do you want?" " Peter, listen." "Let's talk about this in the morning." "I know you've been trying to get in touch with me, but it's only business, and I have a new supplier." " Well there are no finer oranges in the area." " Let me tell you this as politely as I can." "You've gotta leave." " Here, you should try one." "(slap)" " Take your oranges out of my face." " You shouldn't have done that." "(smack)" "(stab)" "(gurling)" "(heavy breathing)" "(spit)" " Deborah, did you make any breakfast?" "I'm late as it is." " How many times do I have to tell you Gerald, if you want something to eat, get up earlier and make it yourself." "What do I look like, your personal slave?" " Where you going in such a hurry?" " In case you haven't noticed, the computer has another virus." "I'm taking it over to Roger's for a tune-up." " Is that so?" " Yeah." " Strange, it seems like there's something wrong with that computer every other day." "Why don't you just come out and say it?" " Okay, fine." "I will." "He's more of a man than you're ever gonna be, okay?" "He's caring, he's affectionate, and he listens to me." "Now bug off Gerald." "(upbeat music)" " Morning everyone." "I realize that it's Friday and you all have big plans for the weekend, but we recently closed on the deal with the Walkins Family orange business." "(clapping)" "Thank you." "It's part of a trust that we'll be taking care of." "40 prime undeveloped acres of land." "There's over 400 orange trees on there that we're gonna be clearing out of the way for our development." "Let me demonstrate." "(perky music)" "(Gerald growls)" "Any questions?" " Uh, yeah." "When are we lookin' to start?" " As soon as possible." "Yes, Derek?" " Wouldn't it be easier to use dynamite?" "(laughter)" " Dynamite?" "That is so stupid." "Do you know how expensive dynamite is?" "He's an idiot." " Good point." "Very expensive." "Susan, what are we on in contracts?" " Well we're just waiting to hear back." "I should have something by the end of the day." " Very good." "Well, that takes care of it." "Derek, I'm putting you in charge of all the legal papers and documents with the Walkins family." "Got it?" " Yes sir." " Good." "(upbeat music)" " Estimates just came in." "The second one is a bit high, but we've done business with him before." " Take a look at this." " Um, I know this isn't the best timing, but this also came for you." " When is a divorce ever good timing?" " I'm sorry Gerald." "She dropped it off this morning." "I didn't mean to ruin your day." " That's okay." "(phone beeps)" "Susan?" "There's gonna be a change of plans." "Tell Derek that I will be making the trip personally." "Yes, I understand." "All right." "Buh-bye." "(dialing)" "(1980s style music)" "(rings)" "(ring)" " Hello?" " Wilbur." " [Wilbur] Hi Gerald." " I can barely hear you." "What are you doing?" " Uh, hey Gerald." "Just killin' some calories." "What's goin' on?" " Deborah served me the papers today." "(Wilbur groans)" "I knew it was coming." "Hey uh, listen." "How about getting all the guys together tonight for a drink?" " Yeah, of course." " [Gerald] How about 7:30 at the Liquor Palace?" " You got it." " [Voiceover] Can I get you another one?" " No thanks." "I'm waiting for a few friends." " No problem." " Hey, Gerald." "Sorry I'm late." "I got tied up in a chat room with a couple of hot babes." " I thought you were seeing someone." " Long story." "Thanks." "Enough about me." "How are you?" " I could be better." "She wants the house and the car." " Sorry to hear." " After all I've done for that bimbo." " Strong words coming from you." " I'm sorry." "I'm just stressed out is all." " No, it's fine." " Hey, Gerald my man." "(laughing)" " Reggie, Jimmy." " Oh shit!" "You son of a bitch." "You drive like a bitch." " Why'd you put the brakes on, man?" " Man, can't you drive this damn thing?" "Fire your ass." "What's goin' on, baby?" "(laughs)" " Thanks for coming out." " Hey, it's not a problem." "Sorry we're a little late." "Jimmy here had to make a few stops." " Still birdwatching?" " Yeah, if you call watching old ladies bathing birdwatching." " Didn't you get arrested for that last year?" " Man, I didn't get arrested." "I got let off with a warning." "Besides, it's not against the law to watch birdies playing in their nests." " [Reggie] I guess so." " Jimmy, some things just never change." " Hey, listen." "Wilbur filled us in along the way about Deborah." "I'm sorry Gerald." " Thanks." "14 years of marriage down the drain." "(snaps fingers) Like that." " I knew she was lying to you the entire time." "Just another tune-up." "Well if I ever meet this Roger fellow," "I'm gonna tune his ass up." " Jimmy, he's not worth it." "Besides, it's my problem to deal with." " Just like you deal with everything else, man." "When you gonna start looking out for yourself?" "Every time we see you, you're down in the dumps." " He's got a point, Gerald." " Guys, I know you're trying to help, but really, I can take care of this." " Let's just hope I don't meet this guy, 'cause if I do, his face is gonna be meeting the pavement." " I can drink to that." " Anyways, I need to get away for the weekend and clear my head." "Plus, I've got some business to take care of and I figured that maybe we could all go fishing." " Sounds fun to me." "Hey, my calendar is free and clear." " And I'm unemployed." " Reggie, you ain't never been employed." " Man, shut up." " Yeah, you know what?" "I could use a few days off." "(phone rings)" " Hey, this is my office." "I need to take this." "Excuse me." " I need to use the bathroom." "Come on, a little help guys?" "A little help?" "(grunting)" " [Wilbur] I think I'm in love, Reggie." " In love with who?" " Brenda." "She's from Phoenix." "We've been chatting for like two weeks now." "I think after the trip I might ask her to move in." " Do think that's a good idea?" "I mean, you barely know her." "Is it a he or she this time?" " She's the one." "(grunting)" " Come outta there!" "Damn kidney stones!" "(shuddering)" " So, what do you think?" "Should I ask her to move in?" " What?" "Hell, you ask Jimmy." "He's the expert on this stuff." " I figure you've rolled over a few women." " Oh hell, I've done more than that." "But honestly Wilbur, you got a bunch of weirdos online, you know?" "So you got to be really careful." " You're right." "Thanks." "(shuddering)" " It's rough." "These damn kidney stones is rough." " That was Susan." "Looks like we'll be heading out tomorrow, boys." " Righteous." " Just like the old days." " Guys, this is gonna be great." " Yep." " You made my day, you know that?" " Hey, what are friends for, huh?" " Right." "Right, right." " To great friends." "To an amazing trip, and unforgettable memories." "(bottles clink)" "(rock music)" " Hey, Gerry." "(honking)" "Hey baby." "Hey!" " Hey guys." " Give me that fishing pole." "(excited conversation) (honking)" " This is exactly what I needed." "A couple days to clear my head, do a little fishing." "Heck, I might even tackle some hiking too." " There better not be any snakes out there," "I'll tell you that." " The only snake you're gonna find is right here. (laughs)" " You are nasty." " Say what you want, but I'm the one picking' up all the hot broads." " (laughs) Jimmy, your Jimmy ain't seen no coochie since you dropped out of your mama." "Me on the other hand, man I been wearin' this wheelchair out." "I even completely wore out a set of brakes." "Oh oh oh baby." " Guys, can we have at least one trip without hearing about your sex lives?" " Or lack of. (laughs)" " Whatever." "Just remember this." "I'm gettin' some tail this weekend with or without you guys." " Don't look so depressed." "We're having fun." "Remember that." " Yeah." "I can't believe I didn't figure it out sooner." "I mean, all this time this guy is coming over to my house, working on my wife's computer?" "The only hard drive he was replacing was mine." " I know exactly how you feel." "Granted I was never married, but I was in a serious online relationship." "You know the thing that bothered me the most?" "She never sent me her profile photo." "She said, "You should love me for who I am," ""not how I look."" "That's all fine and dandy." "I get that." "But when you find out that the person that you've been loving for the past two years is a man named Walter living in Romania, well..." "It's enough to push anyone over the edge." " Oh God." "Here we go again, listening to Wilbur talk about his loverboy." " Walter, kiss me." "Mwah mwah mwah mwah." "(laughter)" " Shut up!" "This is serious!" " [Gerald] Yeah yeah yeah." " Anyhow." "I feel like we have something in common, you know?" " Yeah." " Pit stop!" " Hey boss, I'm gonna take 20 on pump three." "You got a bathroom?" " Yeah, it's in the back on the right." " Thanks." "(funky music)" "¶ I know a girl" "¶ She lives on the hill" "¶ She won't do it but her sister will" "¶ When she boogies" "¶ She does the tubesteak boogie ¶" "(clang)" "(clatter)" "(rock music)" " Hey Wilbur, a little more gas huh?" "No more gas." "All right, brakes." "Brakes!" " What?" " Brakes!" " Brakes!" " Brakes!" "(honking)" "(skidding and honking)" " Jesus." "Fuck." " Hey guys, we're here." " Thank God." "We almost died." " Man, you know I ain't got a license." " This is something." " It's like we're in paradise." " I know there's some hot babes out in that water, just waitin' for a stud like me." "(chuckling)" " Hang a left up there." " You gonna open the door?" "Piece of shit." " Come on, Jimmy." " [Jimmy] All right." " Well, what do you guys think?" " It's home for a few days." " Uh, not bad." "I've seen worse." " Come on in, guys." "Come in." " Holy crap." "Where in the hell did you find this place?" " Craigslist." "The guy only wanted 300 bucks for the weekend." " 300 bucks?" "This is like a fuckin' sleaze shack." " Looks cozy to me." " Hey, even got a shitter." " I gotta take a piss." " Hey Gerald, you want a sausage or a weiner?" " I could suck down a few weiners." " Okay." "Here you go." " Thanks." " Reggie?" "Ah." "Wilbur?" " Oh, no thanks." "I'm trying to lose weight." "(Reggie laughs)" " Like whatever you're trying to lose found its way back already." " Come on, Wilbur." "We're supposed to be having fun." "Remember that's what you told me?" "Take one." " What the hell, give me three." " Now we're talkin'." " Just one at a time, though." "I don't want to choke." " But first, we gotta slather it full of mustard." "(Jimmy laughs)" " Oh!" "10 second rule." "(owls)" "You know, I was doing some research online before we left, and it turns out that there's a maniacal sociopathic psyhopathic serial killer that used to roam around in this area." " Say what?" " Oh yeah yeah yeah." "In 1987 a man named Peter Walkins, he brutally murdered over 30 people." "It turns out that they were his ex-customers, and he was upset 'cause they no longer would want to buy his oranges." " Oranges?" " Oh yeah yeah." "And he had a hook for a hand and he would use it to gut them open." " Oh my God." " Whoa." "What a way to go." " So, why are you telling us all this stuff?" " Wait a minute." "Did they ever catch him?" " Nope." "One of the area's great unsolved mysteries." "Some of the people think that he's still out there." "Waiting to kill again." "(ominous music)" "Come on." "It's an urban legend." " Oh." " Well, on that note, I gotta go drain the old baloney pony." " I gotta go too." "These rocks is rattlin' inside me like a penny in a jelly jar." " Reggie, you find your own tree." "I don't feel like gettin' pissed on." " Jimmy, behave." " What?" " It's all right, Gerald." "I ain't gonna piss on the asshole." " I could go with you Reggie." " Get the fuck outta here." " Oh." "(faint splashing)" "Well well well." "What do we got here?" "Oh." "Yeah baby, take those sweaty panties off." "Oh." "Thank you God." "Ah." "Oh yes." "Oh." "You dirty little girl." "I'd like to spank you right now." "Oh." "(eerie music)" "(whack)" "Wilbur, Gerald?" "Is that you?" "You perverts aren't watching me pee, are you?" "Oh." "The party's still on." "Oh." "I'm coming." "Oh oh." "(birds sing)" "(snore)" "(crash)" "(soft suspenseful music)" "(crash)" " Hey Gerald." "Gerald." "Hey Jimmy." "Jimmy." " What?" " Somebody's out here, man." " I don't know, man." " Come on Reg." "Don't be a sissy." "Open up that door." "(rattling)" "(Jimmy groans)" " Oh man." "My head is pounding." "I drank way too much last night." " Somebody's at the door." " Well, let's just go see who it is." "There's nobody there." "Reggie, we're 15 miles from town." "Not even those Jehovah's Witnesses could find us out here." "I'm going back to bed." "(soft eerie music)" " So what's the plan for today?" " I thought we could do some fishing." "The cabin came with a boat." " Hey, you guys know how I feel about boats." "I can't swim." " We'll get you a life jacket." "You'll be fine." "That water's only about 20 feet deep." " Of course, there are sharks in there too." " What?" "Oh hell no." " No Jimmy, come on." " I'm sorry." "Couldn't help myself." "But you guys missed out last night." "This broad had the biggest tits I've ever seen, and I coulda sucked all the juice out of them." "I'm hoping to bump into her again later." "I can't wait to use one of these." "(Reggie laughs)" "(low dramatic music)" " Oh I can't believe it." " What is it?" " Deborah and her boyfriend Roger." " So that's the little twerp?" " Why would she come here?" " Hell if I know." "It's not enough that she ripped my heart out and tore it in half." "I have to see her with that bastard." " Hey Reggie." "What do you say we go over and kick his ass?" " I'm down for some shit like that." " Guys, please." "Don't make a scene." "With all I'm going through with this divorce," "I've got too much to lose." " Don't worry Gerry boy." "We got this." " Oh boy." " Hey." "Are you Roger?" " Babe, I got this." "Yeah." "Who the hell are you?" " Your worst nightmare." "(Deborah screams)" "(everyone shouts)" " That's enough." "That's enough." "(high-pitched scream) (crunching)" "(slap)" " Leave him alone!" "(laughter)" " Loser!" " Go home to mama, you big baby." " Fuck you, you crybaby!" " Guys, we better get going before the cops come." " Not a bad idea." "(honking)" " You hear that?" " Hear what?" " Peace and quiet." "The sound of relaxation." " I don't hear nothin' but bugs." "And it smells like owl shit out here." "Whoa." " Hey, relax Reggie." " Thought I felt a bump." " You got your brakes on?" " Eh, they all busted up, courtesy of Roger's knuckles." "(Jimmy chuckles)" " You'll be fine." "It was just a small wave." " That's not the point." "I'm trying to stay alive out here." " Guys, I want to tell you, thanks for being such great friends." "I mean, what started with a crappy week has the beginnings of a great weekend." " I can toast to that." " I mean, how long has it been anyways?" "I don't think I've done anything like this since college." "I mean heck, Reggie could even walk." " Way too long." "To be totally honest, I don't know why we don't do this more often." " Whoa!" "Whoa!" "This sucker's huge." "Wow, look at him." "He must be a 20-pounder." "Gah!" " Come on." "Keep goin'." "Keep goin'." " Reel him in, you weakling." " Come on." " You shut up." "(splash)" "Holy shit." "Look, it's him!" "Over there." " Oh great." " Back for more, huh?" " Well, if it isn't the gay squad." " Why don't you piss off?" " Oh, tough guy now huh?" "Funny you weren't such a hotshot back in town when your friend sucker punched me." " You were warned, asshole." " Well now I'm giving you a warning." "We're filing charges for attempted murder." " That's right, and you're all going to jail." " Hope your soap comes on a rope, bitches." " Hey, shut up!" " You first, cripple." " Whoa whoa whoa whoa." "Watch how you talk about my friend, you little twig." " I got your back Jimmy." "(Roger laughs)" " You know why Debs and I are such a hot item?" "Because I rock her world." "I take her to the moon and back." "Unlike you Gerald, with your limp little worm." "Blablablabla." " It's a tiny one." " That's not true." " Oh, that's not what I heard." " I suggest you leave before we have words." " Well you want to fight me?" "Come on, right now!" " Let it go, babe." "We'll have our day." "In court." " Hey, I'm a Roger." "Rogers don't back down." "Take a good look fellas." "This is what a real man looks like." " Flex your battleships, Rog." "(Roger shrieks)" " You sons of dicks!" " You asshole." "You're suck a jealous prick Gerald." "I hate you." " (laughs) You showed him." " That's two ass whoopings in one day." " Run away, run away you dipstick." " Get those sons of bitches!" " Guys, guys." "Look out guys!" "(shouting)" "(crash)" "(splash)" " Help!" "Help I'm drowning!" "You cocksucker!" " Reggie, the rope." " Grab the rope." " Go on." "Give it a go." "How's that?" " It's no use." "It's ruined." " It just needs a little lube, and you know I always carry some of that with me." "(squish)" "Yeah, get it in there." "Try it now." " You fixed it." "Thanks Jimmy!" "You're a fucking genius." "(laughter)" "Oh wow." "Lookie here." " Yeah, we'll be there shortly." "Just to verify, we'll be going over the purchase agreement and power of attorney." "Hello?" "Sir?" "Are you still there?" "Daggone it." "You gotta be kidding me." " I'm lucky to get one bar out here." "Reception is horrible." " Yeah, tell me about it." " So you, uh, ready to hit the road?" " Yeah." "Let's get this knocked out." "Guys, we'll be back in a couple hours tops." " We'll be fine." "Go on and get out of here." " Hey, where them guys going?" " I don't know." "They're supposed to be going to some meeting." "So is it better?" " It's great man, just like new." " Hey Reggie." " Hm?" " I think they're gone." "You want to go do some birdwatching?" " (laughs) Count me in, baby." "I'm ready to roll!" "Whoa." "Dang it." " I don't know how to drive this thing." " Holy shit." "Not the fuckin' stairs." "Holy fuck." "(crash)" "See anything?" "Man, I'm getting a woody just thinking about it." " And nothing yet." " Let me see those." "(upbeat music)" "Oh, lookie lookie lookie." "I found me a cookie." " What is it?" " Somebody doing the tubesteak boogie." " Let me see." "Let me see." "Unfuckinbelievable." "It's Deborah and her boyfriend." " What does she look like?" "Is she naked?" " No." "I got an idea." "Come on, let's go." " Fine then." "Hey Jimmy." " Ah, son of a bitch." "Are you stuck again?" " Guys, I really don't think this is such a good idea." " Sure it is." " I'm in hot water as is." " Listen, you haven't been able to relax since we've been here." "How are we gonna have any fun if you're constantly worried about running into Deborah and Roger?" "Besides, it's not like we're gonna kill them." " That's right." "We're just gonna give them a little scare, incentive to go home early." " Gerald, I been scared my whole life ever since the accident." " You know, you never did tell me about that." " I guess I was too embarrassed." " It's okay Reggie." "The first step to healing is talking about it." " Maybe you're right." "All right." "Well..." "I was running late for a job interview and it was for a big position too." "Anyway, it was at a place downtown and I went and I pushed the elevator button." "After about what seemed to be an hour or so, the elevator came." "The door opened, I walked inside, and I seen a penny on the floor." "And my granddaddy always said that if you ever found a penny, that's good luck." "And I figured if I got this job I'd be sitting pretty." "So I went out to get the penny, but I tripped, and the elevator door closed and smashed my legs." "Then the elevator started going up." "What was left of my battered legs started bouncing off the elevator ceiling and broke my legs in over 900 pieces." " Whoa, I had no idea." " You ever heard a chicken bone snap?" "Pow pow pow pow pow!" "Pow pow!" "Crack crack twist." "I'm telling you man, ever since then I've been afraid." "I've been afraid to take a chance." "Well now this is your chance." "And you take it." " Jimmy." "What did you have in mind?" "(Jimmy cackles)" "(mischievous music)" "I wish Reggie could be here." " Yeah but, we can't risk his wheel getting caught when we run off." " What the hell did you drink?" "You pee like a racehorse." " I've been holding it for hours." " It smells like asparagus." " Enough already." " Okay." " All right boys, let's go." "(moaning)" " [Deborah] Roger, did you hear that?" " No baby, it's nothing." "Let's go again." " You want to play who's at the backdoor?" " Oh, you are dirty." " Roger, we're not alone." "Oh my God, what if it's a grizzly bear?" " Would you calm down?" " Well go check." " Fine, okay." " Come on." "Be careful honey." "(splash)" "(Roger coughs)" " Oh they're coming!" "It's coming!" "Somebody's out there." "Better come the fuck out or I'm gonna cut you." "Come on you son of a bitch." "Come on out or I'll cut your fucking head!" "(Reggie screams)" "He's out there!" "He's out there!" "(ranting and raving)" "I told you!" "I told you he was out there!" "I told you he was out there!" "I told..." " Oh my little pumpkin." "Look what they did to you." "Oof." "Did you at least see who it was?" " No." "But I've got a pretty good idea." " Well, anyways." "Where were we?" " You're making me frisky." " Oh baby, just the way I like you." "(smack)" "(smack)" " All right." "That freaking does it!" "It's your husband, I know it." " Goddamn." "Why can't they just leave us alone?" " This ends now." "I can see you, you idiot." " Yeah, get lost before he breaks your nose." " They just don't learn, do they?" "Last warning, punk." "(rip)" "You'll pay for that, hotshot." "(Deborah screams)" "(cackling)" " [Peter] Care for an orange?" "(gushing)" " Oh no!" "(screams)" "(pounding)" "(eerie music)" " I knew this was a bad idea." "Now we have a broken window to pay for." " Hey, how can you be so sure Roger did this?" " After what we did to them," "I can guarantee you it was them." " Well whoever did it, they're gone now." " Shit." " Hey, it's just a window." "We'll say a blue jay flew through it." "An act of God." "They're not gonna make you pay for that." " Whatever." "I'm goin' to bed." " Who's gonna pick up all this glass?" " Don't look at me." "You better talk to Jimmy." " Why does it smell like pee in here?" "(birds sing)" "Can you believe this?" " Wow, they really did a number." "Sorry Wilbur." "They must have keyed it to get even." "It's evidence now." "So much for their lawsuit." " So much for my van." "(pounding)" " Hey Reggie, come on in." "The water's nice and warm." " Fuck you." "I'm fine just where the fuck I am." " Leave him be." "You know he's afraid of the water." " Especially after his dip recently." " You know, I wonder how many people have peed in this water." "It's all slimy." " Well you can add mine into the list. (laughs)" " You freak." " Hey Gerald, why are you still wearing that ring?" " It means absolutely nothing to me." "Dead weight." " So, let it go, would ya?" " [Reggie] It's time." "(splash)" " Just think, 10 years from now, some guy's gonna catch a big old catfish that swallowed that ring." "It's hard to believe this is our last night." " I know." "Time flies when you're having fun." "We should all do this again soon." " You know, my Uncle Woody's got a place up in Colorado Springs." "It's supposed to be good huntin'." "I could make the call if you guys are up for it." " Definitely." "Let's make it a little bit longer this time." "After my divorce gets finalized, I could use some more time." " Ouch!" " [Gerald] What is it?" " Something bit me I think." " Maybe it's a crocodile." " Very funny." " They like to hang out in shallow water, then they drag you under, and roll you around in circles til you're dead." " He's just messing with you." " I'm outta here." " The crocodile's gonna get ya!" "Poor Wilbur." "Chicken!" "Go find your mommy." "(suspenseful music)" "Ah!" "What the..." "Got ya. (laughs)" "Ah!" "Ah!" " I'm not falling for that one." "(moans of pain)" " Look!" "Look!" "Guys!" "He's not kidding this time guys." "He's got a Komodo dragon hanging onto his babymaker." "(everyone shouts)" "Holy shit, he's grabbing you by your balls." " [Jimmy] Get this son of a bitch off!" " Sit down, would you?" "(smack)" "(smack)" " [Reggie] Holy fuck." "Get him." "Bring him down." "Bring him down." "(smack)" "You've got to suck the venom out of his fucking dick." " [Wilbur] Gotta suck the venom out!" " [Reggie] He could be dead in five minutes." " Hold him down, Gerald!" "Hold him down!" " [Jimmy] Get off of me!" " I'll get his pants." " Whoa whoa whoa whoa!" "It wasn't a snake bite." "Get off me." "If was a fuckin' turtle." " Hold his legs down!" " Get off of me." " You're all right!" "He's all right." "He's all right!" " Not a single bite." "You should have seen that fish I caught yesterday." "A monster." "It must have been 85 pounds." "Look at Jimmy." "Still looking for that heifer." " He's been looking for over three hours." "Heck, we haven't seen another soul." " Come to think about it," "I don't think there's any people out here." " We are the only people here." "Don't you find that a little bit creepy?" " Nah." "I find it quite relaxing." "Don't have to listen to any drunk college kids or dog barking, or Deborah running her mouth." " Wow." "Where did that come from?" " Let's just say you guys are rubbing off on me a little." "(chuckling)" "Did you give up?" " Nah." "It just hurts when I stand for long periods of time." "(Jimmy groans)" "But she's out there somewhere." "When I find her, I'm gonna make my move." "(Jimmy sighs)" " Speaking of that, Gerald, um..." "Next week there's a um, speed dating event that I'm going to, and I was just wondering if you'd like to go with me." " No thanks." "I'm not really good at striking up conversation." " What about that gal in your office?" " Susan?" "You've got to be kidding me." "She wouldn't date a guy like me." " Hey I've heard she's got a nice tushie, all squishy like ham." "Put a little pineapple and a cherry on top." "Man, I could take a bite out of them buns." " Besides, I think I need a little more time before I hop into a relationship." " Time for what?" "Let me give you a little advice." " Oh, can't wait to hear this." " If you'd shut that yapper of yours for a second you might learn something." " All right." "We all ears." " You see, women always want to be the hero in a man's life, so you have to let them know how lonely you are." "Tug on their heartstrings a little bit." "Then you invite them out to dinner." "But you don't want to come off like a jackass." "You see, most women want babies." "Men don't." "So you get a picture of one of those orphan kids." "You know the kind, you pay a penny a day to save a kid's life?" " Yeah." " So you take the picture out at dinner, and when she sees it, you let her know how much you care for this kid, and you want to make a difference." "Before you know it, you'll be riding her like a pony." " I tried that." "It didn't work a bit." "Heck, I'd put out three photos." " It's 'cause you're a fat slob." "And you're overly ambitious." " You're right." "You're right." "You start off with one kid." "Then after a few dates, you just add some more." " That's not a bad idea." " Hey." "It's her." "I'm gonna go get a closer view." "Catch you guys later." "(Reggie chuckles)" " 20 bucks says he comes back empty-handed." " I'll bet you 20 on that." " Yeah." " Anyhow, I've had enough of this." "I think I'm gonna go for a little hike." "Any takers?" " I'm sitting my ass right here." " I'll catch up." " Okay." " It wasn't Roger I saw the other night." "I'm sure." "It was him, the guy Wilbur was talkin' about." "He had..." "Dark eyes and a hook hand." " That's nonsense." " Is it?" "Well how else do you explain the orange?" "The one that flew through the window." "You just saw it with your own eyes." " Come on, Reggie." "You heard Wilbur." "That's just some story he found online." " Maybe, but..." "The other night when you guys were gone," "I heard a scratch, a tapping noise." "It started out, then it went to a scratch." "He was pulling that hook along the wall, taunting me." "He wanted me to take a look at him so he could cut my neck open." " Look, it's just been a crazy weekend." "Reggie, relax." " All right." "Have you ever noticed that I'm the only brother out here?" "And it's always the black guy that dies first." " Come on, can't we just relax and enjoy the rest of the trip?" " Suit yourself." " I'd better go find Wilbur before he gets lost." " Oh yeah baby." "(funky music)" "(eerie music)" "Hi there." "Nice day to get a tan, isn't it?" " Who are you?" " Hey I'm Jimmy." " Were you watching me?" " I wasn't watching you, I mean spying on you, I mean..." " Then what were you doing?" " I'm a birdwatcher." "I come out every year at mating season." "Bagah bagah bagah. (chuckles)" "Hey hey hey, take it easy." "I'm not gonna bite ya." "I'm just saying hello is all." "Huh?" "(slice) (girl screams)" "(Jimmy groans)" " Have a date to this, bitch." "(sobbing)" "(splash)" "(evil cackling)" "¶ Brenda Brenda Brenda and Wilbur" "¶ Brenda" "¶ Brenda and Wilbur" "¶ Brenda Brenda Brenda and Wilbur" "¶ Brenda Brenda Brenda and Wilbur" "¶ Brenda Brenda" "(heavy breathing)" "¶ Brenda Brenda Brenda and Wilbur" "¶ Brenda Brenda Brenda ¶" "(crash)" "Hoot stick!" "Ow!" "(cackling)" "Hoot stick!" "Sh... (heavy breathing)" "My glasses." " You all right?" " Oh geez, you scared me." "I can't see nothin' without my glasses." " You're bleeding." " A rock or a falcon or something hit me in the head." "Oh, it hurts." " Come on." "We'd better get you back to camp." " Thanks Gerald." " Careful." " I can't see nothin' without my glasses." " They're on your head." "(ominous music)" " So how bad is it?" " Eh, you'll live." " This is all I could find." " Thanks, thanks." " My head's pounding." "It feels like somebody hit me with a hammer." " It could have been a lot worse." "From the height of that cliff, anything bigger you would have been dead." " I wonder if anybody's ever fell off that cliff." " It would be a long drop, that's for sure." " They'd splat like a pancake." "(clap)" " That scared me, shit." " You know, I read an article once about this lady in Russia." "She felt out of an airplane and lived." " I wonder what was the last thing that went through her mind." " Not living?" " Beats me but man, she fell over 33,000 feet and survived." "That's incredible." " Ouch." "She must have broke a lot of bones." " As long as your package still functions, that's all that matters." " Speaking of that, don't you guys think" "Jimmy should be back by now?" " How long have we known each other guys, huh?" "Jimmy's relentless." "If he's not back by tomorrow, we'll go look for him." " Okay." "I..." "I gotta go lay down." "Ow." "Thanks guys." "(thud)" " He's fucked up." " Yeah." "(ominous music)" "Still no sign of Jimmy?" " Uh-uh." " [Reggie] That's everything." " We need to be leaving now." "Guys, we're gonna have to split up and find Jimmy." " I'll look around down here." " Good." "I'll look through the woods behind here." "Do you mind hiking that peak, Wilbur?" " Sure thing." " Okay." "We'll meet back here in about an hour." " Got ya." "(soft music)" " Jimmy!" "Hey Jimmy, we're goin'!" "Jimmy?" "Where are you?" "Hey Jimmy!" "Jimmy!" "Where are you?" "Jimmy?" "Ah." "(heavy breathing)" "(birds caw)" "(coughing)" "Dammit!" "Quit playing jokes, Gerald." "I can't see very well." "My glasses are all messed up." "You're not Gerald." "Stay away." "Stay away." " Run piggy, run." "(oinking)" " Please." "You don't have to do this." " Oops." "(Peter chuckles)" " Why are you doing this to me?" "Why?" "Why?" " You know, there are over 50 varieties of navel oranges." "The ones from Florida are my favorites." " Mommy!" "(Wilbur gasps)" "(Wilbur screams)" "(thud)" "(chuckling)" "(low somber music)" "(birds caw)" "(soft fast-paced music)" " Fuck." "(Reggie whimpers)" "Oh fuck me!" "No!" "Holy fuck!" "Gerald!" "Jimmy!" "Oh Jesus." "Oh Jimmy." "Gerald?" "Gerald!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help Jimmy!" "Holy shit." "(crash) Oh shit!" "Oh shit." "You fucking prick!" "(Peter laughs crazily)" "Prick." "Fuck you." "Ah, you son of a fucking bitch!" "(motor starts)" "Bye, you shit fuckies." "Ow!" " Ah yeah!" "Haha!" "Yeah!" " Ow!" "Ow!" " I'm coming for you!" " Fuck you." "(birds caw)" " My God, Jimmy!" "(heavy breathing)" " [Reggie] Oh!" "(chuckling)" "(crash)" "(cackling)" "(squish)" "(cackling)" " You're mine." " Come on." "Shit." "Come on, come on." "Go go." "Come on." " Get outta there!" "(truck starts)" "No!" "(growling)" "(shrieking)" " Gerald!" "Stop Gerald!" "He's coming to get me!" "Stop Gerald!" "No!" "(soft piano music)" " You must be Gerald." " Yes." " I'm Dr. McDonald." "My deepest condolences for your losses." " Thank you." "How is he doing?" " Not good." "I admit that I'm shocked he even survived." "Why the impact alone was enough to kill an elephant." "Are you sure, before we go in, that you want to see this?" " Yes, doctor." "I need to." "He's the only friend I have left." " Very well." "(machines beep and murmur)" "Like I said, there's not much left to look at." "I'll leave you." " Hey pal." "How you doin'?" "(gurgling)" "It's okay, it's okay." "I'm here for you." "And I'm not going anywhere." "I guess you probably heard about the others." "They didn't make it." "But that's why you need to hang in there." "You can beat this, I know you can." " It's time for your friend's lunch." "You've gotta eat and get some rest, and I recommend you do the same." " But I just got here." " [Reggie] Oh God." " Think about your friend's health." "How's he supposed to get any better if he's not gonna get any sleep?" " Okay." " Don't you worry." "We'll take good care of him." "(gurgling)" " You're gonna be okay, Reg." "(moaning)" " We'll be fine." " [Reggie] Oh God." " You uh, mind closing the door on your way out?" " I'll see you first thing in the morning." "Take care, pal." " [Reggie] Oh no." "Ow!" "(ominous music)" "Help me." " Go on." "Have a taste." "(muffled screaming)" "(tearing)" "(steady beep)" " Good morning, Susan." " Good morning sir." " Please call me Gerald." " Um, this came for you this morning." "Do you just want me to put it on your desk?" " No thank you." "I'll take it." " I am so sorry about what happened to your wife, Gerald." "I read about it in the paper this morning." " It's a shame." " Now you can't feel guilty, Gerald." "There's nothing that you could have done to help her." "Um..." " You're right." "Honestly, our marriage was already over but no one deserves to die that way." "I'm sorry, I shouldn't bother you with my personal matters." " It's quite all right." "I'll let you get back to work." " Susan?" "Could I interest you in dinner tonight at my place?" "I'm sorry." "My apologies." "I'm sorry for being so personal." " No!" " Huh?" " Yes." "(humming)" "(simple cheerful music)" " You look absolutely stunning." " Aw, thank you." " Please come in." " Whatever you're cooking smells wonderful." " Well thank you." "Can I take your coat?" " I love your home." "There's something about an older home that does resonate that charm of yesteryear." "How many bedrooms are there?" " Six." "Which makes for a big lonely home, given everything that I've gone through." "I'm a bit scared to sleep here, honestly." "Um, make yourself comfortable." "And in the meantime, can I get you something to drink?" " You may." "What are you having?" " Wine." " Then I'll have the same." "(high-pitched giggle)" "Thank you." "Mm, this is good." " It's a Cabernet 2001." " Who is that?" " Oh, that's my son Hootsie." " I didn't know you had any children." " Well technically, no, he's not mine." "You see, I donate $1 a day to make a difference in his life." " That's so sweet." " And I'm hoping one day he and I can play ball together, as father and son, but until then," "I need to make sure that he gets fresh vegetables and water." " You're an amazing human being, Gerald." "If only more men were like you." " I'm just doing what any good father would do." " Bless your heart, Gerald." "(funky music)" "(ding)" " That..." "That's the food." " Uh-huh." "You're an amazing chef, you know that?" " Oh thanks." "I started the chicken two hours ago in a brine and I put over 70 herbs and spices from my garden." "Of course Deborah, she never appreciated my cooking." " She never appreciated you either." " Can I get you some more wine?" " You may." " [Gerald] Do you mind if I go to the cellar to get another bottle of wine?" " While you're at it, why don't you grab two?" "(high-pitched giggle)" "Do you have a little girl's room that I could use?" "I need to tinkle." "Freshen up." " It's up the steps, two doors on the left, in my bedroom." "(giggling)" "(farting)" "(toilet flushes)" "(suspenseful music)" "Susan, did you find it?" " Yeah." "I'll be down in a moment." " Susan!" "I thought you were..." " Dead." "(thudding)" "(evil cackling)" " No!" "Susan?" "Susan?" "Susan?" "Susan?" "No!" "(squish)" "Ah!" " Refreshing, isn't it?" "Fresh squeezed, no artificial flavors neither." "(cackling)" "(Gerald groans)" " Stop!" "Ah!" "Stop!" "(heavy breathing)" " Gerald, it's okay." "You were having a bad dream is all." " I'm sorry." "I must have spaced off." " Whatever happened, you were one bad boy last night." "Boop." "I'm gonna jump in the shower." " All right." " Are you sure you want to do this?" " Yeah." "They would have wanted it." "Guys, I miss you so much." "Hey, be careful with that thing." "You could put a hole through a rhino with that." " Are you sure it was necessary to bring this?" "You know how I feel about guns." " Well, I had to." "I couldn't let anything happen to you." " Nothing will." "Whoever killed your friends is gone." "They searched the entire park." "He'd be stupid to come back." " Well if he does, his ass is six foot under." "(slow music)" "I need a few moments." " Okay." "I'm here for you." " Well this is it." "It's the end of the road, boys." "(Gerald sobs)" "Why?" "(Susan sobs)" "Oh Wilbur." "Reggie." "Jimmy." "Wilbur, you were always such a putz." "Why?" "Why, why?" " Are you ready?" " Yeah." " Do you want me to go with?" " I need to do this alone." "Here's the keys to the van." "I want you to wait for me and stay inside and don't unlock the doors." "And if anything happens, just honk." " I'll be fine." "I'm a big girl." "(knock)" "Forgot your friends." "(Susan sighs)" "I don't want to sit in here." "¶ I'm free I'm free I'm free" "¶ La la la la ¶" "(ominous music)" " No no no no no." "Back in the car." " [Susan] I love you too honey." "Mwah mwah mwah." "(roar)" "(Susan screams)" "(gunshots)" "(gunshot)" " Oh shit!" " [Susan] He shot me." "(Susan cries)" " You'll be okay." "It'll be okay." " [Susan] Oh Gerald." " It'll be okay." "You'll be okay." "Come on." "Come on." "I got you." "(rock music)"