"Hey." " Mmm." " You, busy ?" "No, but I'm about to get busy." "Nate, Nate, Nate, we're not alone." "I brought a friend." "I don't think you did, Marnie." "Hello, Nate !" "You remember Todd ?" "He's the guy you kicked out of the restaurant on our first date." "Yeah." "Yeah, thanks, I remember that." "I see you don't have wheelchair access." "It's cool, it's cool." "I'm sorry, it's just that this is a 1913 building." "Well, don't tell me." "Tell the guy who can't walk." "Right." "Uh, Todd, hey look, man, I'm sorry." "This is just... it's a 1913 building." "Oh, sure, sure..." "I mean, it is 2005, but, you know..." "It's okay." "It's not my store." "It's not my store." "Too bad you don't have a ramp, 'cause Todd was really excited to browse." "Oh, well, it's not like it's the worst thing that's ever happened to him, right ?" "Okay, Todd, they have ABBBA," "AC/DC," "Aerosmith..." "Oh, I think I like Aerosmith." "Marnie, could you describe the album cover to me ?" "Wait..." "This is nuts, Todd, please." "Let me carry you downstairs." "Oh, Nate, look, don't you worry about me." "I'll be fine." "Don't worry." "Don't worry, It's my fault I wore suede." "You know when you have your shoes for a while and they feel really comfortable but then, all of a sudden, they just start buggin' you ?" "Do you want out of this relationship ?" "What ?" "No, no, I'm talking about my actual shoes." "They're hurting me." "Just say that next time." "You know what ?" "You should take your shoes to my cobbler." "Your cobbler ?" "Is he near the candle maker and the boot black ?" "No, smart ass, I don't have a boot black." "And it turns out my candle maker was just a front for a meth lab." "Okay, here's the address." "Ask for Todd." "Todd." "Oh, Todd..." "Todd ?" "Yeah, I'm not doin' that." "Why not ?" "Todd is one of my dearest friends." "What is this thing you have against him ?" "I don't have a thing." "Look, Nate, I get that you're uncomfortable around the handicapped." "But, don't feel guilty about how lucky you are 'cause... one day you could be halfway on the subway and the door slams shut." "Next thing you know, your body's at 86th street, and your arm's still back at West 4th." "Look, I don't have a problem with the rest of the handicapped." "It's just Todd." "The guy hates me." "Get over yourself." "He does not." "See, you don't see it, but he does." "Yesterday at the store, I offered to carry him down the stairs, and did he let me ?" "No, and do you know why ?" "Because if he did, he would no longer have the advantage." "The advantage..." "Mm-hm." "He's a black man in a wheelchair." "Look," "I'm just saying that guy has it in for me." "Okay." " He does." " Okay." " He does !" " Okay, I believe you." "No, you don't !" "Nate, if anyone has an issue, it's you." "And that's sad because I feel about Todd the way you feel about robots." "God, I love robots." "Exactly." "So, imagine how devastated you would be if I was as unaccepting of the whole robot thing as you are of Todd." "Eventually, it would cause a rift." "All right, I'll take my shoes to Todd." "Thank you." "It'll mean so much to me." "And you guys are the perfect match." "You've got a car, he's got a handicap placard." "I smell road trip." "We have a bad, bad mailman." "What are you talking about ?" "The mailman, he's evil." "He steals magazines." "He crumples people's mail." "And my last shipment from Amazon, no books, just bubble wrap." "And the bubble wrap... already popped." "What kind of monster pops someone else's bubble wrap ?" "No way." "Rusty would never do that." "Hang on." "You call the mailman Rusty ?" "And I call the cable guy Skip." "They have names." "Hey, Rusty, your ears must have been burning." "Well, not since you gave me that sun block, no." "Here you go, Marn." "Oh, thank you." "I flagged a few items in the Pottery Barn catalog." "I thought they'd look great in here." "Any sconces ?" "I forgot that you wanted those." "Kidding !" "Page 46." "Oh, you." "So, Rusty, is it ?" "Yeah." "I don't know what kind of sick little game you got going on, but it's gonna stop." "You snag another one of my magazines, and I'll pop you like bubble wrap." "I don't know what you're insinuating, ma'am." "I'm one of America's heroes." "I thought only policemen and firemen were America's heroes." "No, it's all government officials, ma'am." "It's great to see you, Marn." "Occupant." "Clown, you have a package." "Marn, you know what your problem is ?" "You think people are good." "And they're not." "You know that money you loaned me ?" "You think I'm gonna pay you back..." "I won't." "I'm sure you have a good reason." "Nope, just don't wanna." "Well, Tess, that's you, but I just don't believe Rusty's capable of doing what you say he is." "Well, believe it, sister, 'cause he is." "Okay." "He is." "Okay." " He is !" " Okay, I believe you." "You don't believe me." "Okay." "Oh, it's from my roommate back in clown college." "Oh..." "Damn !" "Well, you got me, old friend." "Hey, Nate." "Hey, what brings you to the Big Apple Cobbler ?" "Actually, I've been having some trouble with my shoes." "Oh !" "And you brought 'em to me ?" "God bless you, Nate." "Uh, yeah," "God bless you, too." "Euh, look, anyway, see these are my favorite sneakers, and they're starting to jam into my arches when I jump." " You know what I mean ?" " Oh, yeah, sure, sure." "I jumped once in a dream." "I can imagine what that's like." "Okay, Todd, look," "I think you and I may have gotten off on the wrong foot..." "Start !" "We've had a bad start." "And I know that you and Marnie are tight." "So I was thinking that maybe you and I could hang out sometime." "Clear up any bad blood between us." "Nate, I got no bad blood." "Okay ?" "But, actually, once" "I did get a bad batch during a revolutionary surgery that was supposed to regenerate my spinal column." "Promises, promises, right ?" "Anyway, it's cool." "It's cool." "We'll definitely hang some time." "Great." "How 'bout Saturday ?" "Oh, uh, actually, I have something on Saturday, and I don't think you'd be interested." "Well, try me." "It's, um..." "It's basketball." "I'm playing basketball." "Oh," "I see, and you don't think I can play basketball because I'm in a wheelchair ?" "No, no, I'm sure you're a... great basketball player." "Why ?" "Because I'm black ?" "No, I..." "Let me tell you something, Nate." "Just because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I can't play basketball." "And just because I'm black, doesn't mean I can." "You know what ?" "I'm an idiot." "This Saturday, I'm not playing basketball actually." "I'm going to visit my grandmother." "She lives over the river and through the... woods." "You know, in Jersey." "The Jersey woods." "But another time definitely." "Sure, now that sounds great, Nate." "I look forward to hanging with you at some unspecified time in the future when it's convenient for you." "Then it's a date." "Hey, Tess." "Hey." "What are you doing ?" "Proving to you that your mailman's deranged." "With a teddy bear." "Okay." "Marn, it's a nanny cam." "Don't you remember ?" "This is the little spy that brought an end to nanny happy hour." "He's gonna take down your mailman." "Maybe." "Or, maybe, he's gonna take you down for the slander and defamation of an American hero." "He's a mailman." "Yeah, Tess, that doesn't look suspicious at all." "See, now people won't think it's suspicious." "They'll just think it's adorable." "Or that some kid got run over in the lobby." "Come on, Nate, it's game point." "Come on, take it, take it !" "Get up !" " Yeah !" " Yeah !" "That's game !" "Now go stamp yourselves out 'cause you just been smoked." "Damn these shoes." "Still messing' with your shoes ?" "I thought you got them things fixed." "Yeah, I did, but they seem worse." "All right, stop talkin' about your shoes." "This ain't Sex in the City." "Let's go !" "Who's up next ?" "I got next !" "Nate, is that you ?" "What happened to Grandma ?" "She didn't get eaten by a wolf, did she ?" "Hey," "Todd." "Yeah, actualy, my grandmother was too sick for me to visit." "That is just terrible." "I'll be sure to add her to my prayers." "But, hey, at least we get a chance to play." "Um..." "Unless that's a problem." "Well..." "I don't see any reason he can't play." "See, I know that." "I'm not not letting him." "It's just... this guy is always trying to make me look bad." "He uses his disadvantage to his advantage." "Oh, man, I'm going to hell just for knowing you." "Nate, Nate, Nate, listen, don't give it a second thought, okay ?" "Maybe I'll go see Marnie." "Yeah, I'll tell her that I wanted to hang with you, but, uh... you were too busy." "What ?" "No, no, Todd !" "Todd, Todd !" "Todd !" "You came to play ball." "Let's play ball." "All right, All right, hey, I'm gonna need a partner." "Thank you." "Hey, what's up, big man ?" "Name's Todd." "All right," "All right, I got this guy." "No," " I don't think you do got that guy." " I'll do it." "No, go get your man." "Go... go." "I don't feel comfortable guarding Todd." "Why can't you guard me, Nate ?" "It should be easy." "See, I'm in a wheelchair." "Okay, guys, game to 11." "Just play big, okay ?" "Make your cut." "Nice." "Over here !" "Pass it up !" "Ow !" "Foul !" "I am so sorry, Nate." "See, I can't feel anything below the waist." "Although I could last night when I found your mama." "Whoo !" "Here we go !" "There we go." "There we go." "Oh, what happened to your magic shoes, Nate ?" "Yeah, what did happen to my shoes, Todd ?" "I got blisters on both feet." "Oh, what I wouldn't give for a blister." "Yeah !" "Come on, Nate." "Okay, come on, Peanut." "You know what might be easier ?" "How 'bout I tell you my moves before I do them ?" "Check it out." "I'm goin' right." "I'm going right, Peanut." "Okay, now I'm going left." "I'm goin' left." "I'm goin' left." "Now I'm goin' right." "Now I'm right." "I'm goin' right." "I'm goin' right." "I'm goin' right." "Right to the basket." "Whoo !" "That's it." "That's it, that's it." "You know what your problem is, Peanut ?" "Ball up, my man." "You got no moves." "Whoo !" "Poor Marnie, if you're anything like this in bed, she must really be disappointed." "Or, doesn't she even know yet ?" "All right, all right, you know what ?" "That's it !" "That's it !" " You wanna play ball with me ?" " Oh, I wanna play ball with you." "Let's play ball !" "Let's do it !" "Nice, Peanut..." "Ow !" "What's that about ?" "My hand, Willy." "To my hand." "Thank you, thank you." "Oh... what ?" "Yeah !" "Take that you... [ BLEEP ] !" "Yeah !" "The brother's in a chair, man." "No, no, we're just... playin'." "You know, we're doing a little trash talkin'." "Well, at least now I know how you truly feel about me, Nate ?" "And I'm sure Marnie would be interested in knowing what you think of me." "Yeah." "Go ahead." "I'm sure she'd be interested to hear the stuff you've been saying to me too." "And who do you think she's gonna believe ?" "You or me ?" "Whoever gets to her first." "Taxi !" "Follow that wheelchair !" "Ha ha ha ha !" "Todd." "Hey, sweaty, how was basketball ?" "Oh, I got a real workout." "Just so you know, your friend Todd popped by to shoot a few." "I know." "Who do you think sent him ?" "When I told him you were playing basketball today, he got freakishly excited about it." "Did you guys have fun ?" "So much fun !" "Isn't he a sweetheart ?" "Don't you just wanna pick him up and squeeze him ?" "Till his eyes pop out and shoot across the room." "Aw !" "So," "Marnie..." "I want you to know that no matter what you hear from now on," "I have absolutely no issues with Todd." "Really ?" "Yes !" "I love him." "Oh, I'll get that for ya." "Hello." "Don't call here again !" "I'm taking Marnie to a place where you can't find her !" "Telemarketers." "Hey, you hungry ?" "Yeah, me too, let's go !" "Wahoo !" "Hey, Marn, look what I got." "Narky the bear says your mailman's going down." "Have you seen it ?" "Not yet." "Then maybe you'd care to make a little bet." "Double or nothing on the money you owe me ?" "The money I'm never going to pay you anyway ?" "That's right." "You're on." "I think I missed something here." "I am proving to Marnie that our mailman sucks." "She has this annoying habit of only seeing the good in people." "Oh, my God." "I know." "And she's so smug about it." "Won't believe you, no matter what you say." "Isn't it annoying ?" "So annoying." "Well, you're lucky I do see the good in people." "Because, otherwise, I'd be standing here looking at a head case who's wasting his life at a record store, and a borderline alcoholic who complains about her job but never does anything about it." "But I don't." "I think you two are super !" "If Blinky wants a pie fight, then pie fight he shall have." "Okay, here we go." "I guess it is just policemen and firemen." "Hey, there's Todd." "What kind of a monster shoves a banana peel in a mailbox ?" "Well, that ought to do it." "All righty, let her rip." " Okay, Todd, you ready, buddy." " Yes." "All right, welcome to Lost Tracks Records." "Okay, here I come !" "It's cool, it's cool." "No worries." "Well, I wasn't expecting this." "You missed, roomie."