"I've been thinking about past failures." "It's making me overcautious." "Registrar?" "Who wouldn't want it?" "You'd be surprised." "I'll be working with Springer not for Springer." "Don't do this." "We made a terrible mistake and we need to put it behind us." "Did you ask Wilson to be registrar before me?" "Yes." "Are you still up for that drink?" "I'm up for dinner." "We are worth saving, aren't we?" "Of course we are." "Forceps and scissors, please." "OK, let's get ready to clip the arteries." "Damn." "He's woken up." "Oh." "Can't be helped." "Knife, please." "Nick." "Nick, don't let them." "Sorry, Dad." "Got to be done." "No!" "Lie still." "We're taking your heart." "You don't need it any more." "Arghhhh!" "Jesus!" "We've been sitting waiting for the last ten minutes." "I'll see you there." "I've not seen you up this early since Christmas Day 1998." "Yeah." "This was your idea, Dad." "What do you want?" "It was your mother's idea to be precise." "She believes in communication." "The wedding." "I wondered if there was anything we could do to help." "If it's not too late." "We've got most of it sorted." "Ah, there you go." "We tried." "Sit." "Let's go through the list, anyway." "The caterers, the seating plan, flowers, rings..." "A dream like that, it stays in the back of your mind all day." "Why your heart?" "Why not your kidney?" "What can your subconscious trying to tell you?" "My cholesterol is too high?" "Oh, hold that thought." "Oh, any chance I can talk to you about the clinic rota?" "Of course you can, Wilson." "My door is always erm..." "You know..." "No luck?" "Like you care." "Three weeks." "Three weeks I've done clinic." "I'll try and come over, give you a break, OK?" "Don't strain yourself." "Tetchy." "Be nice." "For you, I will be uber-nice." "Sorry." "I've got a meeting with HR five, no, seven, minutes ago." "I'll do you a note." "What is it?" "I was just wondering... erm... about tonight or tomorrow." "Or any night really." "Just because you know I'm single you don't have to ask me out." "It's not obligatory." "It is where I come from." "Not totally successful?" "The National is not won or lost at the Canal Turn, you know what I'm saying?" "Not really." "Have you got a Mrs Indale?" "We have a set of her teeth marks if that's any help." "They took her through." "The SWAT team." "Take a muzzle." "Get out of my face!" "Mrs Indale, please." "You have to stop shouting." "I don't have to do anything." "You touch me one more time, you touch me again..." "Good morning." "I'm Mr Springer." "Maybe if we all had a seat?" "Maybe if you sodded off." "I've been asked to examine you, Mrs Indale." "Bully for you, Doctor Dickhead." "I'm sorry about my registrar." "We keep him on out of pity." "Mrs Indale." "If you would retreat to a more discreet distance, maybe things would be easier for everyone." "Like to take a seat for a few minutes, please?" "What's the story here?" "She was taking her children to school." "They stopped at a supermarket." "She was stopped for shoplifting." "She started off shoving the manager." "And then when the security guard arrived... she bit him." "Maybe she doesn't like Mondays?" "While they waited for the police she conveniently started fitting." "So, Dr Dickhead, any history of seizures?" "According to her, no." "And was she guilty as charged?" "Go and ask one of the nice officers." "What difference does it make?" "Because if I was a shoplifter and got nicked, any subsequent fit might be a convenient distraction." "But if I'd been wrongly accused by some lout in a uniform whilst my kids were torn from my grasp..." "Well, maybe I'd have a fit, too." "A real one." "Go on." "So we've got Max Portas, 28, playing football, collapsed." "No-one knows if he lost consciousness so possible syncope." "Insists it's a stitch and he'll be fine in a minute." "Look." "I'm well, fit." "Fittest bloke on the team." "Midfielder, me" "We suspect you have myocarditis." "It's an infection in the muscle of your heart." "You've probably had it for a week or two." "OK." "Chuck us some antibiotics and I'll be off for the second half." "Ah, well, it's viral." "Antibiotics won't touch it." "So you're gonna have to shoot me?" "Not yet." "I've been asked to insert a small pump next to your heart, just to help it over this crisis." "Look, you've got better things to do, eh?" "Sick people to look after." "Mr Portas, your oxygen levels are not improving." "We need to help your heart out and soon." "Right, Max, time to get serious." "Or do I have to tie you down?" "I must warn you, my knots are very good." "Please just take a seat." "Sorry." "What's going off, love?" "You took your time." "Phil Indale." "What's going on?" "What's wrong with you?" "Nothing." "I fainted." "I'm Mr Monroe, your wife's consultant." "The security guard started it." "I pushed him off" " Another fight." "I should have known." "Where are the kids?" "In school." "One of the mums was there so..." "Are you listening to me?" "Why do you keep doing it?" "Why can't you just be nice?" "How's the wild woman of the west?" "Waste of time." "She's faking it to get off being charged." "And I've got to get her int a scanner." "Oh." "The break you promised me?" "If I have to talk to Monroe again, I will." "All right, all right." "I'll do clinic." "Happy?" "Right." "Mrs Indale." "Good luck." "She is in the scanner, isn't she?" "She's not set about the radiologist with an IV stand?" "She's fine." "Good." "Well, my money is on the seat of all our emotions, the frontal lobe." "Well, well, well." "Would you look at that?" "An aneurysm." "The size of the Isle of Wight." "Or Springer's ego." "And in the temporal lobe." "Thank you." "Just when you think you've got the baddies cornered." "You have an aneurysm... here... in the temporal lobe." "And it's pressing down on the amygdala, which controls how we deal with our emotions." "So, it may well be that this is what has been giving you your anger problem." "So now what?" "An aneurysm is a weakness in a blood vessel in the brain." "Imagine a garden hose." "And where the casing's worn thin the hose bulges, so pressure is building up in the weakest part." "And if it bursts?" "We'll get to it before that happens." "But it could?" "You've kept safe so far and we'll keep you safe until we get you into the operation." "I'll talk to my team, look at the schedule, consider all the options and I'll come and talk it over with you." "I knew it wasn't me." "Angry all the time." "I knew something wasn't right." "I'm not mad." "I'm not bad." "Thank God." "When?" "The sooner the better." "My children." "I need to see the kids." "Have you finished clinic?" "It's a doddle." "I don't know why Wilson makes such a big deal of it." "I was thinking about our weekend off next month." "We could book a boutique hotel" " I'm at work and so are you." "Time and place." "Sweet as pie one minute and no-one dare cross her path the next." "Bit like Bremner on a bad day, if you'll forgive me, Shepherd." "You're putting her temper down to an aneurysm?" "May be a factor." "It's abutting the amygdala." "What does that control, Springer?" "Feeding, fighting and..." "Fornication." "Well swerved." "An aneurysm of this size, there's a chance that when we remove it she'll process emotions in a more measured way." "She might have just woken up one morning, looked at her husband and her life... and been consumed with bitterness and disappointment." "Could be that, too." "Either way, you don't have any choice." "You get rid of the aneurysm or it bleeds and she dies." "Correct." "The only choice we do have is how we do the operation." "So... do you want us to guess?" "Both our departments, cardio..." "Sorry... and neuro, working together on a single patient." "Like life itself, the heart and the head working together in perfect harmony." "Would you care to clarify or is this the opening of a musical you're working on?" "Hypothermic circulatory arrest." "Yes." "I agree." "Circulatory arrest?" "Really?" "Ooh, a surge of interest in a case you were desperate to get shot of." "Circulatory arrest." "Bremner's attractive and dedicated team will cool the body, stop the heart and drain the blood." "We then have a half-hour window in which it's safe to clip the aneurysm." "Meanwhile, Shepherd will be keeping our patient alive and dead at the same time." "Half hour max." "A bona fide miracle." "When do we scrub in?" "Sadly, on this occasion you will be observing only." "This is Wilson's case now, remember?" "You gave it to her." "Last time we played Trivial Pursuit she didn't like losing and the kids laughed." "That was it." "The board went flying, the cards." "She was raging." "I'm with her on that." "Some of those science questions." "And all the time she couldn't help it." "Even if Sally's personality has been affected by the aneurysm removing it may not restore her to who she used to be." "The damage may already be done." "But this is going to save her life?" "Well, if it goes well - and there's no reason to think it won't - yes." "Yes, everything confirms it." "I'm sorry." "You're in CCF." "Congestive cardiac failure." "You need that pump and need it soon." "We'll get you over to ITU as soon as we can." "I'll have a word with Cardiology and then I've got to shoot off." "I'll open your skull here... and fritter around a bit until we find the aneurysm." "Then we'll put you on bypass and we'll cool your blood so that gradually, gradually, we bring your temperature down until your heart stops." "Stops dead?" "Then, when there's no pulse, and the aneurysm's deflated, we'll have the best chance to clip it." "How long will it take?" "I won't keep you like that longer than 30 minutes." "And after the op?" "You should be fine." "Danger over." "OK." "Sounds good." "No, it doesn't." "It sounds dead." "Hang on." "We need to think about this." "We need time to think, for it to sink in." "Look at me." "Really look." "All the trouble." "All the fighting." "Honestly, Phil, can you tell me you still love me?" "I love who you used to be and who you are underneath all the... you know..." "And I don't want to lose you." "We can get rid of this aneurysm, which will save your life, but I can't promise that it'll sort out your emotional problems." "But it will." "I know I am going to wake up the old me." "And I can't wait." "So, on you go." "Get it done." "What's the time?" "Half five." "You're not still worried about that football match?" "No point." "All be back in the pub by now." "I wish." "Wey-hey!" "Ssh-ssh." "No noise." "No pestering my nurses and just five minutes." "Good to see you, man." "How did we do?" "Only beat 'em, five three." "Ohh!" "And, you, no food or drink." "Who scored?" "I got two, George got one." "Love that." "Are you finished for the day?" "Not for a bit." "Ropey patient." "Is there any other sort?" "A korma and a naan." "My treat." "Maybe tomorrow." "OK." "Here we are, happy singletons, observing the tangled love lives of our colleagues." "We stand back." "We have perspective." "I've got a headache, actually." "I could probably fix that for you." "The ref's bleating, 'It's a friendly, lads, it's a friendly.'" "I hate hospitals, me, you know." "Mayhem, mate." "Fists, boots, the language was..." "You all right, Max?" "Max, are you all right?" "Right, that's it, gentlemen." "Full time." "We've got an ITU bed waiting for you at last." "Suppose I like it where I am?" "Promoted." "Premier League, mate." "Going up in the world." "Nice and slowly." "You all right?" "Ground floor perfumery, stationery and leather goods." "My gran'd say that every time we got in a lift." "I'm 28. 28." "I'm shitting it, mate." "Don't let on but..." "God." "I don't want to die." "Jess, I'm sorry." "I know I said I'd be early but one thing led to..." "Ohh." "Has he had his bath?" "Mm." "The usual tantrum when he came out." "Water baby." "Have to start taking him swimming." "Mm." "Is it beyond the wit of the whole NHS to fix that damn noise?" "I'm sorry?" "Puts my teeth on edge." "It really doesn't take much, does it?" "Apparently not." "Apparently I'm unreasonable and angry and a nightmare to live with!" "You and me both." "At least there's a chance we'll soon have you sweet and reasonable tomorrow." "Now Phil's not here... if you were a betting man" " I am a betting man." "One of my little failings." "How much would you bet on me losing this temper problem after the op?" "Just you and me, so you can be honest." "Evens." "Thanks." "I'm going to listen to your chest." "Max, all we're talking about is sedating you, so that a machine can help you to breathe." "Just until we can put a pump in." "No." "I've not even agreed to the op yet." "There are signs that your kidneys and liver are beginning to fail." "I'm not 30 yet." "I play football, I run the marathon." "I'm not ready for this." "No sedation, no op, no nothing." "I won't agree." "No." "You know, you could have said you were running late." "And I would have said, 'It's fine, I'll look after him.'" "I know, but I'd arranged things and... been shirty with you so I felt I couldn't." "You can." "You always can." "It hasn't seemed like that lately." "You're not... erm..." "What?" "Well, you just don't seem that happy with me." "With us." "Well, I am." "And anything that he needs, anything you need, that's what I'm here for." "You know," "I was even thinking..." "Why don't we get married?" "Why?" "Well, why not?" "You, me, Louis." "It'll make us" " Better?" "Stronger?" "What, like some sort of sticking plaster?" "No." "We're hardly happy as we are, how would marrying help?" "I'll take that as a no." "Don't be childish." "What else am I supposed to do?" "What can I say?" "Where do we go from here?" "Not down the aisle." "Yes, I got that, I got that message." "Do you know, if we're such a disaster, if there's no... if there's no hope for us, then why the hell am I even here?" "Hello." "I'm trying to find your mum's address." "You'll be lucky." "Cleared off when I was six." "No family at all?" "OK." "So, if there's no one else to say this I have to." "This is about your dad, isn't it?" "It's about your dad dying in this building just a year ago." "And... it's about him dying in an operation." "They wheeled him away." "'See you, son.'" "He didn't die because of anything the surgeon did." "He..." "He had another massive stroke." "I don't want close my eyes." "I know you don't." "I understand." "But time is running out for us." "I'm sorry but we have to do this soon." "You'll wake up." "You will." "Max." "I promise." "So." "Squid risotto in its own ink." "It's a brave order for a first date." "The perils of vanity." "I left my reading glasses at home." "I've never seen an entire octopus eaten in one sitting." "Apart from on a wildlife documentary." "What can I tell you?" "I'm a girl with a healthy appetite." "This is where I resist making a crass enquiry about your unhealthy appetites." "I think that's a stone best left unturned at this early stage." "Here they come!" "What the hell are you doing here?" "All right, Dad?" "What the hell are you doing here?" "Level three and you'll get some mortars." "You said treat it as home." "We'll make ourselves scarce as soon as we've scaled the embassy." "I'd ask you in for coffee but I've got an angry 14-year-old who thinks castration is too good for any man who isn't her father." "And you've got two adolescents of your own at home." "Haven't I just?" "Mm." "Best call it a night." "Yeah." "Thanks for a lovely evening." "See you." "How is he?" "Responding." "Pulse slowing, breathing easier." "He gave his permission?" "Midnight." "You're a hero." "Official." "Hey, what's wrong?" "I'm no-one's hero." "Maybe not a superhero but I reckon you're there with the everyday ones." "Lollipop ladies and the people who run donkey rescues." "Is it that prick Springer?" "What's he done?" "Have you got any coffee?" "Run out." "It's all part of my plan to reduce you to your lowest ebb so you've no choice but to talk to me." "OK." "We'll talk." "How are you getting on with Lizzie?" "Don't know who you mean." "Anna's understudy." "Getting back to the matter in hand." "You and Jenny." "These little spats, they're to be expected." "Did I tell you about when Nick was a baby and I booked us a week in Spain?" "Probably." "Anna has a new partner and you've suddenly got an attraction to a colleague." "Coincidence?" "I've quietly fancied her from afar." "So I us booked this week off to remind us how much in love we were." "By day two we were plotting how to kill each other." "And look how happily it all worked out for you." "What are we playing?" "Same old game of silly buggers by the looks of it." "Come on." "So you whipped our reluctant patient into theatre last night." "I'd done the procedure before so - Well done." "His heart's happier with the balloon pump but he's still on dobutamine and norad." "So, are you up to assisting on this circulatory arrest or are you too shattered after your vigil?" "Come on." "Sorry if I wrecked your plans last night." "I put it down to jealousy." "Me a free man, you about to cut yourself off from the vast universe of fanciable women." "Well, I've apologised now so..." "Not like you meant it." "I was hoping for..." "'I'm sorry." "I'm selfish." "I don't deserve you.'" "Accepting the truth is half the battle so well done." "Great evening, eh?" "The ending was a bit so-so but not bad for a first attempt." "Some things are never going to work." "It worked fine, didn't it?" "Hm." "I'm sorry." "Sorry." "I need three coffees, minimum, before my thoughts take on any coherence." "Was it a disaster?" "Not quite." "But your luggage got in the way and I've got a fair bit of luggage of my own." "Was it my squid-based humour?" "We can strike that from the record." "Sons, daughters, ex-husbands, ex-wives, friends with failed relationships." "Bit crowded before we even got started." "And, you know what, you are very sweet but I'm not looking for crowded right now." "I'm really sorry." "I see what you're doing." "Playing the long game." "I like it." "The patient needs a playlist, Springer." "What?" "Off you go." "Shouldn't your registrar assist you on this?" "I mean, when I apply for my next post - Moving on so soon?" "No, but... it would look good for us if my CV - That's one of the many differences between us." "What?" "I don't really care what things look like." "You had your chance with this, you gave it to Wilson." "Very generous, we thought." "Ready, Mr Monroe?" "Over to you, Ms Bremner." "You all right?" "Yeah." "All good." "Yeah." "Knife, please." "Thank you" "Five years slog to be treated like a bloody DJ." "What have you done to upset her?" "What are you on about?" "She deserves better." "What, the aneurysm woman?" "You know what I'm talking about." "One date with you and she's in pieces." "Carry on, Witney." "Great film." "I think we're nearly there." "Yep." "There she blows." "Or not, we hope." "I can't do any more until we stop the circulation and empty it." "All OK?" "All right?" "Can we go onto bypass please?" "Thank you." "I hope you young things are taking note of this fine example of domestic harmony." "20 degrees." "A couple more to go." "Getting there. 19." "OK, everyone, time to get going." "Turn bypass off and drain the circulation into the reservoir, please." "There's no pulse." "Because the heart is no longer beating." "No high-frequency brain activity." "The peace that passeth all understanding." "That's enough of that." "Let's get going." "At last, the neck of the aneurysm." "You've been going 26 minutes." "Bollocks." "I thought I had it free." "Not quite there." "Can we crack on?" "Let's keep the arrest time to a minimum." "Cracking on as quick as we can." "Are there any problems?" "Not yet." "Like to keep it that way." "Brain activity flat." "Looks good." "You hope." "That is an unknown till the patient recovers." "OK, OK, everyone." "I'm going as fast as I can." "Clip." "Right, Dr Wilson, here we go." "If anything goes wrong from now... it's your fault." "OK, let's see how that works." "When you're ready." "Back on bypass, please, and rewarm." "Well done, everyone." "Another surgical triumph." "My concern is not at all selfless." "He plays a very noisy game of patience at 3am." "I know you're trying to help, but... this is work." "Personal, professional." "Two separate things." "They stopped being separate things a long time ago." "I just want to know that you're doing OK." "I'm OK, yeah." "Just about." "Thank you for asking." "It went well." "They'll take her back to ITU in a few minutes." "Thank you." "Hey." "You're staying with Monroe, aren't you?" "It's not your problem." "Tell me I haven't wrecked things for you and Bremner." "Don't do this here." "Not now." "I have, haven't I?" "Things are difficult, not settled, it's..." "Just not here." "Oh, my God." "How could I be so stupid?" "How could you?" "We've wrecked things for everyone - for Bremner, for... for your little boy." "This isn't what I do." "It's not who I am." "Call from ITU." "Got to get there now." "Max Portas?" "Multiple organ failure." "Abnormal AST and ALT." "Liver failure?" "And kidneys." "Completely dependent on the dialysis." "Why?" "Why does anything happen with viral infection?" "Ventricular tachycardia, loss of output." "Damn." "He was doing well." "I promised him." "Never promise anyone anything." "Now shock him." "Stand clear." "Pulse is VT." "Going again." "Stand clear." "Going again." "Clear." "Time of death - 4:59pm" "When a virus is that aggressive there's nothing anyone can do." "I know." "This thing with Shepherd isn't helping." "Were you having a fight?" "It's nothing." "You can tell me." "Mates, remember?" "We can tell each other anything." "Not this." "Come on." "How bad can it be?" "I slept with Shepherd." "Mullery." "Please." "Talk to me." "I don't know." "I thought better of you and... there's a kid and I even feel sorry for Springer." "I've completed his notes." "Thought you'd like to check them." "Yeah, of course." "Then I think you should go home and get some sleep." "Erm, no." "I'm all right." "If there was any justice in medicine, what you did for Mr Portas would have seen him walk out of here." "But there isn't." "You are the best registrar I've ever had." "So don't let this knock your confidence." "What...?" "I have just booked us a honeymoon suite for a long and glorious weekend together." "Best boyfriend ever or what?" "What?" "What's wrong?" "What've I done?" "Nothing." "Well, look at you." "You look happier than when I last saw you." "She's great." "Good as new." "Whoops." "Sorry" "How are you feeling?" "A bit achy but OK." "We have so much to thank you for." "Ah, it's not necessary." "You've given me my wife back." "Sorry." "Here, give me that." "Watch it, you clumsy pillock!" "Stop fannying about, Springer." "Let Wilson do it." "Oh, no, you're all right." "Ooh." "That'll teach you not to subjugate women surgically." "You may clip our aneurysms but you will never clip our spirit." "You give them the vote and a few years later... mayhem." "All right?" "Finished early for once." "I was wondering..." "Saturday." "Mm?" "What do you..." "Let me know what you're doing." "If you want him." "Where I'll be?" "Yes." "We could both take him out." "Or we could stay in." "I don't thrive on rows and arguments." "No." "No." "I can't work out if things are so complicated... because we love each other... or because we don't love each other enough." "I'll kiss Louis for you, OK?" "'Night." "How are you doing?" "Aiming to get be of here in a few days if you give us the thumbs up." "I'm..." "I'm sorry the operation hasn't... solved your problems." "At least you know what you're dealing with now." "You can make allowances." "For the kids' sake?" "It's not just for them." "It's for her too." "You commit to someone and you stay committed." "When Anna left you I had the good grace to take the piss and talk about horse racing." "We were a busted flush by then and we didn't have a six-month-old baby." "I don't know." "I don't know." "One minute I was asking her to marry me and the next I was standing at the door with a suitcase in my hand." "You asked her to marry you?" "What did she say?" "That's more like it." "So, wait." "Somewhere between," "'Will you marry me?" "' and 'I'm leaving you'..." "I'm missing part of the story." "It seems more serious than baby strain." "I slept with someone else." "I had a one-night stand." "Oh." "Right." "Well, it's not the best thing you've ever done but if you don't go all confessional and it doesn't happen again..." "It's worse than that." "Did it involve sheep?" "It was Witney." "I slept with Witney." "Witney?" "Ooh." "Sure this wasn't a dream you had?" "For fuck's sake, Monroe." "Bremner's registrar?" "My registrar's girlfriend?" "Right." "I'm going to check tomorrow's list." "You've got an acoustic neuroma first thing." "Does Jenny know?" "No." "What were you thinking?" "Thought didn't really come into it." "You've risked everything." "Your little lad..." "You've got a glioma second so" " Oh, stuff the bloody list." "Larry, your son." "You need to get better balloons next time." "How long's she been waiting?" "Four years." "Lancastrian heart in a Yorkshire lass?" "I can't do this." "I'm sorry." "You had a one-night stand." "Stop blaming how bad you feel on her." "It's not fair." "It can't be just unless he's the love of your life." "He isn't worth the pain." "When we are doing the operation you'll be awake." "Awake?" "In my experience it's nice to be the centre of attention." "If this goes where I think it might go, in the morning we may hate ourselves." "Oh."