"St. Stephen's College of Arts and Science welcomes Mr. Vikas Jadhav, our honourable education minister and his wife, on this auspicious occasion of our college function." "So, we present first..." "Omkar Sharma, AKA Omi." "I love you all." "I love you all." "What the..." "Sorry." "Look." "Movie auditions, in our college." "If I get this role, life will set." "If they see me, they'll be set." "Somebody stop me." "Sir." "Very good actor." "Jai." "Not the one from Sholay." "But, the same name and personality." "Look, Jai." "Jai." " Sir." "Latch that door." "Hold her hand and say this dialogue." "She'll scream 'No'!" "The scene ends there." "But, I want that anger in your eyes." "Actor, sir." "Actor." "Sir, dialogues." "Madam, ready?" "Ready, sir." "Ready?" " Yes, sir." "Ready." "So, Miles away when the father's awake." "Miles away when the father's awake." "The son says, father go back to sleep or you'll have another one like me." "Mr. Principal, what rubbish is he saying?" "Thank you." "I love you all." "Action!" "Henna." "Henna." "Henna." " You can't do this to me, Vasu." "Please." "Let me go." "Let you go." "You!" "You." "When you never took pity on me." "Not bad." "The boy's got potential." "Who says, you only fall in love once." "So, No one can take Kashmir." "Wow!" "Wow!" "Wow!" "Sir." "No one can take Kashmir." "No one can give Kashmir." " Wow!" "You can only have a two day three night... honeymoon package in Kashmir." "Right." "Mr. Principal." "What rubbish he's talking." " I'm sorry." "Thank you." "Director!" "Sir!" "Save me!" "Hindi Film!" "'I love you.'" "'I love you limitlessly.'" "'I'm your hero.'" "Cut." "What's he doing?" "And now, the next one's for the missus." "Don't." "Stop it." "Wife asked his husband." "Wife asked his husband." "Honestly, how many have you slept with?" "What nonsense." "Principal, stop him." "Wife asked his husband." "Honestly, how many have you slept with?" "The husband replied..." "I slept only with you." "And stayed awake with the rest." " What is this" "Mr. Principal, did you call us here to humiliate us!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Cut." "You call that good actor." "What are you doing?" "Actually, sir..." "No, no, no, no." "I'm a method actor." "One more chance." "Baby!" "I see." "So, you're a method actor." " Yes." "So, the next scene's your death scene." "Yes sir." " Ready?" "Wait." "I've got one more." "That was also nice." "Hey, Jai!" "'The moon hid behind the clouds.'" "'With coy..." "Thappa!" "What are you doing here?" " Keeping an eye." "Sir has put me on guard here." "I was just... going for a walk." "Through the window." "Seema." "Seema." " Oh no." "Colonel, once my daughter Seema and your son Major Pratap's date goes well then, we'll fix their marriage date as well." "Over and out." "Dear." "Offer him tea." "Thank you." "Seema." "We'll soon be good friends." "And hopefully, we'll soon have our own family." "Listen, Pattu..." "Seema." "No Pattu." "It's Pratap." "Major Pratap." " Major." "How's the coming 26th of July for the marriage?" " Good." "26th July's an inauspicious date." " Why?" "Mumbai Floods, 26th July." "Tsunami, 26th July." "Blasts, 26th July." "On 26th July, 1999 the Indian army recaptured Tiger Hill, Kargil." "Colonel." "You can attack with your wedding battalion on the 26th July." "But..." " Over and out." "Dad... can we?" " Of course, son." "No." " Come on, Brigadier." "Let them go." "They need some space." "Dad, please." " Okay." "Step no.1. Step on the bike." "That's a four." "That's a six..." "Oh no." "There comes bad luck Thappa." "You know what, Pattu." "Every time he opens his mouth something surely goes wrong." " I see." "Sir, sir, sir..." "Is that so?" " Madam's..." "Step no.2. Hit the engine." "Step no.3." "Zoom!" "Awesome exit!" "Once again she ran away." "You're over and you're out!" " Sir." "She's run away for the fifth time!" " Fifth time?" "Yes." "Out of space." "She ran away on a rocket." "Uncle." "Don't worry." "No matter where she hides in Sawantwadi." "I will find her." "She isn't in Sawantwadi." "Like always, there's just one place she runs away to." "Goa!" "I will have to do something." "Otherwise, I'll be over and out by some civilian." "This is all your fault." " But." "Don't follow me." "Don't." "No." "'Welcome to the love lane.'" "'Everything's goes here.'" "'Welcome to the love lane.'" "'Everything's goes here.'" "'Love, flirting and teasing.'" "'Piercing eyes, and bowled over hearts.'" "'The heart's a smart alec.'" "'Different for each one.'" "'Whether it's an Indian beauty, or a foreign girl.'" "'Beware." "Get ready.'" "'Here comes the prey.'" "'We can stop heartbeats.'" "'And also make your heart beat.'" "'We can pierce your heart.'" "'And also pray for well-being.'" "'We're in love with every beauty.'" "'But we're a bit helpless before our heart.'" "'Beware." "Get ready.'" "'Here comes the prey.'" "'The heart's very stubborn.'" "'The world's bowed before it.'" "'Just tell me who you want to give your heart to.'" "'I've everyone's bio-data.'" "'Think about our holy union.'" "'Or I can focus on someone else.'" "'Beware." "Get ready.'" "'Here comes the prey.'" "Mr. Joseph Furtado." "Yeah, Joseph Furtado." "These days you've been cutting and ruining." "Mr. Furtado, the saying is 'Cutting and running'." "I know." "I know." "But you three have ruined me." "It's been 12 months." "And, you haven't paid my cafe's bills." "I don't know why I ever allowed you in my cafe." "Must be a bad time." " Shut up." "I will strip you first and beat you." "Mr. Joseph, you can hit him but, no need to get romantic." "Why do you want to strip him?" " You..." "Mr. Furtado." "Let it be." "See, your money isn't going anywhere..." "Listen, brother, first you should have some money" "Only then can it go somewhere." "Look, Sid." "Let me tell you." "Why do you keep such friends?" "I was a sailor." "I've seen life." "Let me tell you." "Two rotten fishes spoil the pond." "Mr. Furtado, the proverb's on just one fish." "But, there's two here." " Yes." "Pinto." "What a unique combo." "One's the brand ambassador of honestly." "And the other two, are born cheats." "Cheers." "Go ahead, laugh it away." "Shameless people." "You'll get only a week's credit more." "Then, police calling." "After that, all six fingers will be in butter." "Sir, the proverbs for just five fingers." " I know." "Extra finger where?" "Where?" " There." "Yes." " Good!" "Shameless boys." "You two can just fool around." "What the..." "Ms. Josephine." " Hello." "Ms. Josephine, the luggage?" " Are you leaving?" "This is your luggage, not mine." " Ours?" "Yes." "Now, leave my house." "Why?" " Why?" "Why?" "Because your pocket's are empty." "It's been more than a year you haven't paid a penny of the rent..." "Now, come on." "Take your things and out." "Ms. Josephine." "Just a few pennies have made you greedy." "So brazen and uptight." "Why, Omi?" " Right." "And, you're throwing our luggage out when we're so attached." "Come on, Jo." "Jo?" " Yeah." "Jo." "Josephine." "Jo." "You know, Jai." "She's still waiting for that special someone." "And if we leave..." "No." "So, miss." "If this is your day, then it's a big mistake." "And anyway, Ms. Josphine." "We'll soon satisfy your desires?" "Right?" " Yeah." "Ms. Josephine, he means fulfil your demands." "Look, Ms. Josephine." "Like always, you're always right, and we're totally wrong." "We're just saying, give us a little time." "But the time..." "Sid, for a change use your mouth." "You always speak from the heart." "Silly boy." "Ms. Josephine, our luggage..." " Your clothes are so dirty." "I'll get it washed, ironed and send it back." "Oh... thank you." "See." " But rent, next week without fail." "Yes." "Absolutely." " Right." "Jo." "'Welcome to the love lane.'" "'Everything goes here.'" "Bank balance's zero, but we earned a million today." " How?" "We're safe." "And a life saved, is a million earned." "And Jai, Sid, Omi come back." "Don't follow me." "Mom, is Seema at that bookworm's home?" "You two are impossible." "One's a teacher, other's a dictator." "And we three wife, daughter and mother get stuck in your fights." "Mom." "I'll talk to that Alkaline Acid." " Wait." "Mom, give me the phone." " Wait." "Mom, give me the phone..." " Mom!" "Watch." "Now Chandrakant and Suryakant will fight the third world war." "Thank you." "Thank you." "So, you were slapped." " Yes, I was." "Tell me, Santru." " I don't say, only give orders, Chiku." "Then go order some snacks in a restaurant." "Chiku." "You've no etiquettes or manners." "I've mom." "Mom." "Mom." " Let go." "Mom..." "Mom!" "Where did she come from?" "The same place you did." " Yes, I did." "Don't forget, I'm elder to you." "Only by a minute." "The value of a minute, ask a Olympic runner." "The value of a minute, ask the slice of bread in a toaster." "Ask the pizza boy, that delivers after 29 minutes." "Give the phone to my daughter Seema in a minute." "Go give orders on the border." "Not to my niece Seema." " Shut up." "Seema's my daughter, and she'll marry a army officer." "Over and out." "Seema's my niece, and she'll marry a civilian." "Without any doubt." "Army." " Civilian." "Army." " Civilian." "Army." " Army." "Civilian..." "I mean..." "He's over and out." "Red litmus turning into blue litmus." "Awesome." " Wow." "Me too." " Mom." "It goes like this." "The moon's so cruel with us." "As children we see uncle and later, we see our beloved in it." "Jai!" "Come soon." "There's a prey." "Coming!" "Coming!" "Coming!" "Prey?" "Where?" "My friend, it goes like this." "Who says heaven's up above, look down." "Photo." "Did the battery have to die now?" "Let's go 9 to 11." " That's 9 to 12." "These days Hindi films only run for two hours." "Fine, you can sit here and watch the film, I'm going." "Here I come, baby." "Sid." "For God sake, take a look." "But first, let's see where Jai is." " What?" "Look." " Traitor." "I hope you meet with an accident." "I curse you." " Bye." "Jai, you dog." "Salute me, I say." "Oh no, he's too cute." "The good news is, I know where that girl lives." "There's a granny-granny, doggy-doggy and a old-old man between us." "Jai!" "Jai!" "Jai!" " Yeah." "I saw her first." "I'm her hero." "First, rise to the level of ajunior artist." "I make the website and you want the hits!" "Idiot fellow." "You'll regret it, Jai." "Get lost." "Hey!" "Don't fight." "You both give it a try." "But the question still remains, who will try first." "Obviously, me." "Who will try first?" "I will give you a solution for that." "Coin?" " Toss." "Just a minute." "So, Jai." "Heads." "And Omi?" " Tails." "Right." "Yes." "So, Jai." " Yes." "You will sit at home, and Omi will go first." " No." "No" " Because here are heads." "That's cheating." " Be fair." "He saw the girl first." "Come on." "Don't be a sissy." "Omi, you rascal..." "I hope no one saw that." "No." "Yes." "'You could've at least let me ask the question.'" "'Why say yes first.'" "Hello." "Who are you?" "All credit goes to the Almighty, that made this dude." "Sometimes I look at you, and sometimes I hear your dog bark." "Actually, I am..." " Thank God you're here." "Come in." "Hello." " Hurry up." "So..." " Nice." "So... shall we begin?" "Like, now?" " Yes, now's the right time." "Relax on the bed, I'll be back from the bathroom." "Just a minute." " Okay." "I'll wait." "What the..." "Come here." "The dog trainer's finally here." "Learn to behave." "Come." "Okay." "Let me see." "Abra-cada-bra." "From Thailand to Brazil, everything's here." "There's no wedding or night." "But, the feelings still right..." "Believe it or not, every dog has his day." "Don't be scared." "He bites only sometimes?" " Sometimes?" "He's your student, Aryabhatt." "And Aryabhatt, this is your new dog trainer." "Say hello." "Dog trainer." "No..." "I'm giving you Aryabhatt's favourite toy and you can control him with it." "Okay." "All the best." "Okay." "Keep away!" "Keep away!" "No, no!" "No!" "Who are you?" "Aunty, save me!" "'Aaryabhatt leave my butt.'" "By the way, Omi's the one who must be hanging, right." "You dog..." "No, no dog." "Mister." "Welcome." "So, she met me like 'Heer'(lover)." "And she tasted like 'Kheer'(sweet)." "And pierced my heart like a 'teer'(Arrow)." "Be honest now." "Did she drive you away like a 'fakir'(begger)?" "That's fine." "Logically, you two should be jealous." "But, biologically I am on cloud no.9." "Because physical seduction is equal to good health." "What happened?" "Tell us." "Everything that you can imagine." "Let me take you back in flashback." "Up there, there." "Yes." "You Could've at least let me ask the question." "Why say yes first." "I don't get it." "You?" "I'm your distant neighbour." "Actually, I came here for some sugar." "For free." "I've heard that sugar-free is in demand." "You're too funny." "You've a way with words." "It goes like this." "If you wear a red bindi on a white sari." "You'll definitely look like an ambulance." "You're very innovative, I must say." "Then how about an innovative friendship, says my crazy heart." "Because, as we know." "The best item in the friendship is to be... one." "Oh my." "No." "It's Omi." " Omi." "Aryabhatt." "Shut up." "It's okay." "Stay." "Sit." "Fetch." "I've seen love in my beloved's eyes." "Now my restless heart's finally at peace." "Sweetheart, I was so eager to see you." "Now my restless heart's finally at peace." "She was a bomb, and she blew me away." "She was a bomb, and she blew me away." "Without halting at any station, this slow train flew away." "Hey." "What's this on your neck?" "Seems like something bit you." "Love-bite." "She was a dog." "Anyway, you will know once you grow-up." "Don't stop me, I'm going." "What about you, Jai?" "He broke all records on first day, first show." "If she can be bowled over by Omi." "She'll go bow-wow when she sees me." "Don't say 'bow-wow'." " Why?" "No." "Nothing." " Nothing." "Yours was just the teaser, Omi." "Just watch what happens when I will tease her." "Baby's bike." "Baby's doggy." "Baby's bungalow." "Baby's background." "Baby's tattoo." "Her size zero puts all other to shame." "What a beauty." "Who are you calling a beauty?" " Wow!" "You." "You're past the age of dying but, still look like the Kingfisher model." "Like they say." "Treasures are found in the ruins." "Who are you?" " Jai." "Not the one from Sholay." "But, the same name and personality." "Hello, hello." "I'm a producer-director." "I was visiting a friend, when he said a innocent girl's moved into our neighbourhood." " Oh." "Sweet, cute, charming." "Just like the one I am looking for my blockbuster film." "I think my friend was right, because I can surely make baby with you." " What?" "I mean, I can surely produce baby with you." "The title of my film's 'Baby'." "He's just a Baby." "Who's the baby, Seema?" "Uncle." "He's a film director-producer." "He's here to see me." "Welcome." "Welcome." "Welcome wasn't my film, sir." "I only make heroine oriented films." "I can see what you're making." "But, have you ever made action films." "With my mom in the lead role." "Mom." "Salutations." "Action." "Mother!" "Son." "Take my screen-test too." "Come on." "Whether Karan-Arjun returns or not." "Doesn't matter, get it." "Because I can handle you alone." "Make a film, will you?" "Cast my grand-daughter as the heroine." "Old hag." " You call me a old hag." "Beat him." " You call me a old hag." "Old hag is your mother!" "Old hag is your mother!" "Let go." "Old hag is your mother!" "Old hag is your mother!" "Leave me." "Leave." " Leave Old hag." "Leave and Let go." "Uncle." "Mom, he called you old, why did that upset you?" " Shut up!" "Mom." "Help me, guys." "Jai!" "Jai!" "Jai!" " Omi." "I can see darkness before my eyes." "Jai!" "Jai!" "Jai!" "What happened, Jai?" "He went to fix his chemistry, but ruined his geography." "Sid!" "Sid!" "Don't judge a film by its poster." "What?" "I mean, hear my flashback." "I mean, see it." "You?" " Jai." "Not the one from Sholay." "But, the same name and personality." "Exactly." "I am so sorry to barge in on you like this." "I'm a producer, director." "I was visiting a friend, when he said a innocent girl's moved into our neighbourhood." " Oh." "Sweet, cute, charming." "Just like the one I am looking for my blockbuster film." "Film!" "Fine." "Uncle!" "Sir, do you really think my mom..." "My niece can be a heroine?" "When she's got the eyes of Sonakshi, grace of Kareena and the style of Deepika." "She's got to be the heroine of my film." "By the way, you will have to wear a swimming suit in my film." "Why?" " Because I don't want my film to sink." "Just once..." "Once I capture you in my room..." " Room?" "In my camera." "Capture you in my camera." "Because, baby." "I will take a screen-test." "Lights." "Camera." "Action." "Hello." "Hello." "Yeah!" "What is mobile number?" "What is style number?" "I want to talk privately." "What is your private number." "Where do you go, darling, where do you come from?" "Why do you always torment my heart?" "What is your style number?" "What number should I dial?" "We can meet easily then." "Give me some easy number," "Where do you go, darling, where do you come from?" "Why do you always torment my heart?" "After that, ooh!" "Aah!" "Ouch!" "Why say it?" "Show us." "There's something called as censor." "What next?" "Next?" " Meaning." "Meaning." "I mean, the girl's given a green signal to you both." "How are you going to decide now?" ""My pant's torn!" "Don't hit me." "No!" " What no?" "I mean..." "I don't want that girl." "Jai, my friend." "The path's clear for you." "No, my friend." "You can have that girl." "The girl's all yours." "My friend." "I've many more." "You can have her." "Jai, you take the girl." " Omi, listen to me." "Jai, you..." " Omi..." "Jai..." "This hatred between us for a girl." "It's not worth it." " No." "And anyway, we can never handle such an uptight girl." " No." "So..." "When you can't change the girl, change the girl." "From today, we'll never talk about that girl... again!" "Sid." "We two have retired." "Maybe you can take a wild-card entry." "A girl like her, never." "Grandma." "Welcome." "You're Pattu, right." " No, grandma." "Pratap." "Right." "Go, go." "Bless you." "But, how do you know me?" "Very easy." "Seema told me." " I see." "If the face's not like curdled milk and, the gait's not like a lizard." "THen, that is Pattu." "Look." " Yes." "Your son's asked me to bring Seema back." "Where's she?" " She ran away." "Come I'll show you" " She ran away." "Look." "You know, grandma." "She looks really cute when she's running away." "Were you a dog in your earlier birth?" "Why?" " No." "She fooled you so easily." "Seema." "Yes, mom." "I'm driving right now, can't talk." "The police will catch me." "Yes, I'm on my way to meet her." "Bye." "Hey, Michael Shoemaker." "Hey." "Mind your language." "And, what's Shoemaker?" "I don't make shoes." " So, what do you make?" "Socks?" "Look, you're talking to a army officer." "And you are talking to a common man." "See how we common people live here." "What do you people think?" "You can just run over us." " He's got guts." "He's a dude." "And Pattu." "You'll always be a coward." "Get lost." " Get going." "Where do they come from?" "Listen." "Where you a drum in your last life?" " Why?" "Because, I just played you." "Stop." "Stop." "Stop if you got the guts." "Yes, mom." "I just reached." "Yes, Seema Agarwal." "Yes, you told me." "Hi." "Siddharth." " Oh, hi." "Seema." "Don't stand there." "Just block it and sit." " Block what?" "Block the seat." " I see." "Your order sir." "One veg-grilled sandwich and coffee..." "Okay." "Actually, two veg-grilled sandwich and coffee..." "Okay." " This is very funny." "Get it." " Okay, sir." "Okay." "Nice bike." "Actually, that's one thing that cheaper than car but, maintains style statement." "More than that, it always comes in handy." "It helped me run away from home five times." "Helped you run away?" "Yes." " You ran away from home." "Why?" " My dad was forcing me in arranged marriage." "And I hate arranged marriages." "You hate arranged marriages, so what are you doing here?" "Like I said, I hate arranged marriages." "So, I ran away." "You ran away, you hate arranged marriages." "You ran away again." "I don't understand." "Seeing your carefree attitude I feel, your star-sign's Leo." " Bang on." "Awesome, boss." "Now let me guess." "Capricorn?" "Actually, people don't believe me when I say this." "You might be shocked to hear this." "But..." "Cancer." "Oh." " Very sorry to hear that, sir." "But... no one could avert death." "He actually thought that I..." "had cancer." "I know." "Funny man." "Anyway." "By the way what's your problem with arranged marriages?" "How can someone choose a life-partner over a coffee and sandwich." "People say, all you need is a look to fall in love." "Look." "Those people are dumb." "Actually, if they say something out of the world in the first meeting, then maybe..." "Out of the world." "Out of the world..." "Okay." "Let me try." "Let's rewind." "Just give me some time." "Hi." "Siddharth Kashyap." "May I?" " Yes." "So, would you like to hang-out with me for the rest of your life." "Baby." "Awesome, boss." "Let me try too." "I see." "Wait, let me take position." "Hi, I am Seema Ranjan." "Hi, Seema..." "Ranjan?" "Seema Ranjan?" "You aren't Seema Agarwal?" " No." "Doesn't make a difference." "I don't like both the names." "Excuse me." "Siddharth." "Seema." "Agarwal." "That means, I was mistaking Seema 1 for Seema 2." "Oh... who did you think I was?" " Sid." "I am Sid." " So, that's who I thought you are." "Siddharth, I am the Seema you're looking for but, I can't be your Seema." "Actually..." " Actually, you must love someone else, right." "Fine." "You can go love or do anything." "Just a second." "Mom." "Yes, mom." "Your Seema's... not that special, mom." "Fine." " Thank you so much." "Go get married." " Thank you so much, Siddharth." "Pattu." "Bye." " Don't forget to invite me." "I'll sing a song for you." "Destiny." "You..." "Seema." "Everything's haywire." "Who says you can't fall in love over a sandwich and coffee?" "It's possible." "Early morning." "Early morning." "When she smiled at the window." "And showed her charming face." "It slipped." "My heart slipped from my hand." "She's so wonderful." "My mind's filled with her image." "It's my first romance." "I've a slight chance." "My heart's staggering." "Her eyes are so intoxicating." "She's makes my heart beat." "Take some tips from the experts." "If you fail you'll be..." "Early morning." "Every time I call her darling, she feels coy." "Each time I say kiss me, she shows attitude." "She says welcome and takes me home." "She's a bit arrogant." "But, she's still mine." "It's my first romance." "I've a slight chance." "My heart's staggering." "Her eyes are so intoxicating." "She's makes my heart beat." "Take some tips from the experts." "If you fail you'll be..." "Yahoo messenger was no help." "No message on the BBM either." "I searched her on Facebook, but no use." "She's got a little attitude." "But she's still cute." "It's my first romance." "I've a slight chance." "My heart's staggering." "Her eyes are so intoxicating." "She's makes my heart beat." "Take some tips from the experts." "If you fail you'll be..." "Early morning." "I'll see you." " See you." "Bye." " Madam, please spare something." "I haven't eaten anything for four days." "Here." "God bless you." "God, I wish I had the same will-power." "I really need to go on a diet." "Tighten the blade's screw." "It's the biggest bad luck in the cafe." "Doesn't work 30 days a week." "Rubbish." " Only seven days in a week, Joseph." "I know." "But, a week in the summer is equal to a month." "Fine, I'll do it right now." "See, it's done." "Stop." " Yes." "Look, it's raining." "It's raining." "It's raining." "It's raining." "Look." "Mr. Joseph and Ms. Josephine." "They're exchanging romantic looks at this age." "Jai, if we bring them together..." "Then, we'll food, shelter and clothing." "What?" "I mean, we get free food at the cafe." "And the landlady will give us shelter." "And, we're already wearing clothes." "You two... are bad." "The heart's in love." "Omi!" "Joseph sir." "Put this out to dry." "And start this up." "Sir." "Today's Sunday." "How can I forget what day is today?" "Shall we call the police?" "No, police." "Call the priest." "Sir." "Sid, Omi, Jai were supposed to pay up today." "Thank God you reminded me." "But, they must be hiding in a burrow to escape me." "I'll have to look all over Goa." "Sir, but how." "Pinto." "I'll check every place twice." "Sir, no need." " Why?" "Look who is coming?" "Jai." " Not the one from Sholay." "But, the same name and personality." "Jai." "Get ready to go to jail." "Years passby, but its difficult to pass every moment." "Forget about going to jail." "Sid and Omi's sent me here to talk about money." " Really?" "Oh, that reminds me." "I'm so dumb..." "Someone's sent a message for you." "Message?" "Who?" "The one... you gave shelter to." "Outside the church." "My fair lady." "She's our..." "landlady." " What?" "Yes." "What do I say, Mr. Furt." "Smiles like Madhuri." "Juhi's magic." "Sridevi's mischief." "And, covered Mallika Sherawat." "Yes." "And her name's Josephine." "But, your name's just like hers." "What?" "Joseph." " Ine." "What?" "His name's Joseph?" " Yes." "Not just Joseph." "There's Furtado too." "Joseph Furtado." "And, he's also said he apologises for any mistake he's made." "Clear your mind of any misconception." "Writer-poet type." "He's sent a gift for you." " Gift?" "Gift?" " Gift?" "Yes." " Pinto." "Yes." "Get pizza, sandwiches, diet coke, pastries, get everything." "Old hag is your mother!" "What's this?" "That was hard..." " What?" "Ms. Josephine." "Was after me." "So, that I give this to you." "Black belt." "Sweet, Josephine." "Her nickname's Jo." "Jo." "Jo." " Jo." "When it's destiny." "It cannot be averted." "Good." "Very good." "I'll never forget his kind gesture." "It's not worth forgetting." "Ms. Josephine, the rent money..." " Let it be." "Money's not important." "Today, tomorrow, you can give it any time." "Ms. Josephine." "Same to same." "You and Mr. Joseph think so similarly." "He said the same thing." " What?" "Money's not important." "Today, tomorrow, you can give it any time." "Thank you, Mr. Joseph." " It's okay." "We've to still pay Ms. Josephine's one year rent." "And to adjust that..." "Pay Jo rent." "Hold it." "Hold it." "You give this to Jo on your behalf." "But, how can I take this money, Mr. Joseph." "You're good for nothing." "You can't pay her." "But the proverb's wrong, sir." "I know." "But, his condition's worse." " Correct." "Keep this." " Thanks, Jo." "Ms. Josephine." "Take this." "We can't take money from you." "You please keep this." "We'll manage." " Okay." "Just don't tell anyone about this." "This gift, at this age." "Jo." " Ms. Josephine, I don't know what this is." "But, if this is love..." "then love sees no age." "Only courage, and bondage..." " Bondage." "And cleavage." "And marriage." "The heart's fallen in love." "The heart's fallen in love." " Yes." "Sir." "Sir, sorry." " Don't scare me." "What's wrong with your car?" " Can I help?" "I've been maintaining it for 20 years." "But, it lets me down every day." "Each day I request it to take me home but, it takes me to the garage instead." "Forget it, sir." "I'll drop you." "Really?" " Yes." "That's very kind of you." "7th Youth Colony." "7th Youth Colony?" " Yes." "That means, we aren't just teacher-student but, also neighbours for the past two years." "Love thy neighbour." "Let's go." "What are you doing?" " Sir, sit comfortably." "You're taking quite sharp turns." "Any turning points in your life?" "Come on." "I'm not your professor outside college." "Come on, tell me." "Sir, I did meet one, but we didn't meet again." "If she's in your destiny, she'll be in your life." "You think so, sir." " Of course." "It's a nice ride." "Careful." "Careful." "Steps ahead." "Careful." "Stop, stop." "Sir, I told you to hold on tight." "The ground's a bit tricky." "Life is tricky, my friend." "How about a cup of coffee?" " Now?" "Coffee and slaps are my mom's speciality." "I see." " So, let's ride." "So, will I get slapped..." " You have coffee I'll take the slaps." "Mom, hide me in your veil." " Harder." "Take me in your arms." " Fine." "Sir, you... in a army uniform." "I must say, you're quite photogenic." "You're looking much more handsome in this photo." "No." "That's not him." "That's my other son." "Twin." "Twins." " Yes, but there's nothing special about him." "He looks like H2o, and his mind's like H2So4." "Sulphuric acid?" " Sulphuric acid." "They've the same blood group." " O positive, mom." "Quiet." "Not because they're twins." "It's because they're always sucking on each other's blood." "Look, grandma, let me tell you one thing..." "Grandma..." "You here?" " You here?" "You two know each other." "Sir, she's the one I met, and couldn't meet again." "She's the one you met, and couldn't meet again." "And, we meet again." "You..." " I..." "I was just..." "Eat it." "Mom." "Chiku, shut up." " Mom, you be quiet." "We've found a civilian." "Santru." "Now I'll teach you a lesson." "Chiku." "Uncle." " Chiku." "Find out, what he earns?" "What post he's at?" "Mom, the important thing is he's a civilian." "He's a genius in studies." "He'll surely get ajob." "Seema." "Don't just stand there." "Flirt with him." "You're done for, Santru." "Shall we?" " Let's go." "Fantastic food here." "Let me introduce you to Mr. Furtado." "Hey, Mr. Furtado." "How are you?" "Siddharth, how are you?" " I'm good, I'm good." "Mr. Furtado, I want you to meet Seema." "Hello, young lady." " Hi." "You know my dear, I would like to say." "You two look coochie-coochie and cute-cute." "By the way, can I say something?" "You and Ms. Josephine will also look really coochie-coochie and cute-cute together." "So, you told her?" " What could I do?" "You weren't telling Ms. Josephine." " What?" "You're the one, my heart's stuck on." " What?" "Yes, Ms. Josephine." "When will you tell Mr. Joseph about your feelings?" "When Karan Johar stop inviting people for coffee?" "When Ram Gopal Verma directs a romantic film?" "When Mallika Sherawat starts wearing full clothes?" "These days you're pulling my leg a lot." "Fine, but why are you pulling my ears?" "Because, I..." "I didn't even have a proper meeting with him." "Then go ahead." "Come on." "Pinto." "Get it." "I'll solve your problem." "Thank you." "Once she accepts my gift then, I'm ready to say those four magical words." "There are three magic words, right?" "Yes, Mr. Furtado." "I Love You." " Correct." "Correct." "But, I won't say it first." "When she says I love you, I will say I Love You Too." "Four words, Mr. Furtado." "Awesome." "Like that." "So, what are you thinking, Ms. Josephine." "Just go with him and have some dinner and wine." "Go, Simran." "Live your life." "Be his valentine." " No." "How can I just straightaway?" "I just started to know him." "And those who are in love celebrate valentine." "Like Sid." "Haven't you noticed him these days?" "He says 'bye' instead of 'hi'." "Eats his breakfast without any break." "And, always wears a glossy smile on his face." "Like he's..." "He's found a new love." "Sid?" "He didn't tell us anything." "Who's the girl for whom he's broken the bonds of friendship?" "She's who?" "Who?" " Who?" "What?" " Exactly our question." "What?" "So, what's all this?" "There's a girl in your life?" "I was about to tell you." " Yeah, right." "But, you thought of telling us 10-15 years later." "No, no." "Come, sit." "I'll tell you." "Come." "Are you taking us in flashback?" " Yes." "Show me." " Watch." "A bit higher." "I told you to hold on tighter, the ground's a bit tricky." "Seema." "Bye." "Bye." "Seema." "Nothing, I just want to say bye." "Sid." "Kiss..." "I mean... why are you saying bye so many times?" "Why?" "No, I just meant it's nice to say bye." "If you go sleep, than I..." " Oh." "Okay." "Seema." "Sorry, sorry." "Bye." "That's a flashback." " Yeah." "No, that's a setback." "One only flies kites in the air, not kisses." "You're a physics scholar, no physical moves." "I mean, not a single kiss." "But..." "I mean, I don't know how to kiss." "I've never done it before." "There are no kissing classes." "It's just a hit with the masses." "Young man, it's a magnetic residue that stops blabbering and starts heartbeats." "He's right." " Right, but opportunity." "I should get the opportunity." "Situation." "A timing for everything..." "Sid." "Forget the puppy love." "Kiss her." "I'll be back." "He needs to be explained everything." "Matches?" " Don't have it." "I can't find a matchstick in this house." "Ms. Josephine?" " Yes." "Hi." "I..." "Let me guess." "You're Sid's friend, right." "Special friend." "So, I was right." "You know, Seema." "The best thing about Sid is that he talks from the heart." "And you're so mean." "You stole that heart." "Sorry to be personal Mr. Joseph is a very nice gentleman." "He's sent a gift for you." "Valentine's day gift." "Thank him." "Sid." "Sid." "Seema's waiting." "Seema?" "Oh no!" "Oh no!" "Oh no!" "What's she doing here?" "I'll take a look." " Okay." "Where did she come from?" "She's here." "Omi, open the door." "Omi!" "Omi!" "Must be the milkman." "Coming." "Sid." " Milkmaid." "What's she doing here?" "You're Sid's friend, right?" " Yes." "The helmet?" " What did you expect?" "By the way..." "Your girl." " My girl?" "Sid's girl." "'Forget the puppy love.'" "'Kiss her.'" "What are you looking at?" " Your lipstick." "Why?" " Because, I want to stick to your lips, baby." "Awesome, boss." "Enough of this goody-two shoes." "Now I'll show, when I'm good, I'm good." "When I'm bad..." "I'm even better." "Not bad." "5 out of 10." "5." " He's made it to 5." "Five?" "6 out of 10." "Six?" "This isn't possible, Jai." "This isn't possible." "Hand me the phone." "Hand me the phone." "I don't keep my phone in my shorts." "You..." "There it is." "Hold me." "Hold me." "Hold me." "Hold me." "Call him..." "Hello." " Hello, Sid." "No, it's Jai." "Jai, who?" " Hero." "Hey, Bhojpuri." "Disconnect it." "Outgoing is chargeable." " How did you get the phone?" "10 out of 10!" "Oh, God!" "It's over." "Take off the helmet." "Never underestimate three things in life." " What?" "Love, sex and betrayal." " Oh." "Just like she brought a twist in our life..." "We create bring a twister in her life." " Yes." "Every friend's a rascal." "Every friend's a rascal." "Every friend's a rascal." "Every friend's a rascal." "Every friend's a rascal." "...is a rascal!" "So, early to bed and early to rise." "Makes your girlfriend go with other guys." "Stop it." "I meant the perfume." "It's mine, Sid." "Stop it." " No, Omi. 10." "10 out of 10." "Jai, you were right." "Forget the puppy love." "Kiss her." "Look, Sid." "This 10 out of 10 will fetch you 10 out of 100 in your exams." "Concentrate on your studies." " Yes." "You're saying this." " Yes." "You're saying this, Jai." "Osama doesn't look nice preaching." "You're using my perfume so many times." "And, new clothes, new shoes." "I'm going on a date." "Try to understand." "Date." "Fool." "You borrowed 500 rupees from me last month." "Pay up now." "Pay up." "Now?" " Yes." "Are you the only one who goes on dates?" "Try to understand the situation." "How much?" "500?" " Yes." "Sure?" " Yes." "Give it." "Hold on." "Where is my 500 rupees?" " What 500 rupees?" "Remember, the poems you recited on Peter's Colony Family Day." " I remember." "And you were badly beaten up." " Yes." "And, I paid to stitch you up." " You did..." "Thank you very much." "I remembered, you borrowed 500 from me as well." "Bhojpuri film audition." "Remember?" "'Gharwali Tohar..." " Aur Maliswali Hamar.'" "Remember." "And, now this is mine." "So, she must be waiting for me." "I'm all ready." "And, this... final touches." "I'll introduce you to her." "I'll introduce you to her." "Early morning." "Stop it." "It's your perfume." "Sid." "Sid." "I've prepared your favourite sandwich." "Oh, thank you so much, Ms. Josephine." "But, I'm in a bit of a hurry." "I've to go meet someone." "Someone or Seema!" "My, my, you're blushing, Sid." "I've taken an important decision, regarding..." "Let me guess, regarding Mr. Joseph." "Now you're blushing." "Ms. Josephine, I would've listened, but I'm in a hurry." "Seema's waiting for me." " Alright then, run along." "Mustn't keep a girl waiting." " Yeah." "And you know what." "How can I ever miss out on your sandwich?" " Thank you." "Alright, all the best." "Thank you, you're the best." "Oh, God!" "He's en-route to get a degree in love." "And, I haven't even started." "Help me, God." "Since I saw you, I was happy." "My mom's finally found a daughter-in-law." "Since I saw you, I was happy." "My mom's finally found a daughter-in-law." "This is what I like about you." "Do you have a brother?" "Yes, you can take my heart." "First, prove that you're worth it." "Every time you get angry, it's like bullets piercing my heart." "Me and you!" "I'm a bit naive." "And, a little naughty." "Why do you talk so much?" "It's hard to digest." "What to do, I like you." "Why does that sound so false?" "Every time you get angry, it's like bullets piercing my heart." "Me and you!" "If you... give me your heart." "I know someone who will." "Who is she, how does she look?" "Tell me honestly." "I'll be right back, after meeting her." "I'll beat you black and blue." "Every time you get angry, it's like bullets piercing my heart." "Me and you!" "Since I saw you, I was happy." "My mom's finally found a daughter-in-law." "This is what I like about you." "Do you have a brother?" "Yes, you can take my heart." "First, prove that you're worth it." "Every time you get angry, it's like bullets piercing my heart." "Me and you!" "Look." "These lovers I tell you." "Crazy about each other just like Saif and Kareena." "Sid." "Oh, God!" "That's Sid and Seema." " Yes." "Sid." " Yes, what?" "Those two rascals." " What?" "Stay there!" " She's coming here." "They're disgusting people." "Remember, I told you." "One, barged in my bedroom posing as a dog trainer." "And, the other wanted to capture me..." "in his room, not camera." "What?" "You rascals..." "Jai." " Cheers." "Omi." " Sid." "You know them?" "They're my friends." "You've such cheap friends." "What are you saying?" " Who's the girl?" "Don't listen to her, Sid." "She wants to breakup our friendship." "Wait, I'll break your bones first." "You cannot break their bones." " Exactly." "Because, I will break their bones." "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "What 'No'?" "Omi, rest are just dreams." "But kin are kin." " Yes" "And Sid's a kin." " Yeah." "And, he's found a great girl." "Friend." "We're idiots, but she's danger alarm." "Just like Chinese goods, without warranty or guarantee." "Yes, she'll breakup our friendship with Sid." " What?" "She'll break Sid's heart." " Yes." "You see, Jai." "We'll have to do something so that, this serpent's desires are never fulfilled." "So, Seema, you're in for trouble." "Take care." "Kailash Kher." "Anupam Kher." "I don't care." "Come on." "Sid, is she your 10 on 10." " Yes, that's her." "My friend, there's no such companion, or lover." " Yes." "Her?" "What can I say?" "How do I say it?" " You know her?" "Friend, she's the same girl I showed you flashback of." "What are you saying?" " Not just screen-test she gave me a skin-test without hesitating." "What are you saying?" " How can you forget?" "What is mobile number?" "What is smile number?" "What are you saying?" "She's not that kind of a girl, I know her." "Correct, correct." " Mind your language." "Right, she's not that kind of a girl." "I know what kind she is." "She's like the film that gets a good opening." "Gets a good collection on weekend." "But, after Monday she drops her life-partner." "Mind it." " Listen to me, Sid." "Listen to me." " What are you saying?" "Don't hit me." "She's a cheap girl." "She'll ruin your life." "Shut up." "Shut up." " I mean it." "She will ruin your life." "Don't test..." "Don't test my patience." "Your life will be ruined..." " Don't hit me." "Why hit me?" "You don't believe me?" "Look in my phone." "Look in my phone." " What's in your phone?" "Give me my phone." " Show me." "Just second." "Nonsense." "Show me." "A photo of her private tattoo." "How's it on my phone?" " How do you have this?" "How do you have this?" "Don't beat me." "How do you have a photo of her tattoo?" "Tell me." "Look at this photo, Sid." "She's a witch." "She will ruin your life, I mean it." "Look, Sid." "Listen to me." "She will ruin you, Sid." "Rascal." " Don't beat me." "What happened?" "Stupid people." "Strange people." "Taking advantage of our friendship." "I know her." "Go on, fulfil the duty of your friendship." "He's understood half of it." "You explain him the rest." "Go on." "Thanks." "Is everything okay?" " Yes, go on." "Sid, I need your laptop for sending..." "Female?" "Sid?" "Sid." " What?" "Friend, am I dreaming?" "This is Seema." "That's your Seema?" " Yes." "That's my Seema." "What is your problem?" "Friend." "This Seema has no boundaries." "And this Seema's got no character." "And you're a big rascal." " Sid." "What are you doing?" "What are you two up to?" "What are you two up to?" " Sid." "I've been to her bedroom." "On the left are her tees, and on right are abracadabra in her drawer." "I mean" " Liar" "She's a play woman." "Swear on it." "Swear on it." " I swear." "It's true, Sid." "That girl's not your type." "Listen to me, Sid." "She will ruin your life." "Don't do it." "Don't do this with me, jealous boys!" "No." "Seema can't be that type." "She can't be." "I've a connection with her." "I get good vibes about her." "No." "Om!" "Om!" "Om!" "Om!" "Joseph sir." " Yes, Pinto." "This suit really suites you." " Yes." "Doesn't it look three good?" " That's too good." "No, no, it's three piece, so three good." "Sir, are you attending some wedding." "God bless you my son." "Marriage is certainly on the cards but for now, I'm just going to meet her." "So, a friend beat another friend black and blue." "Strength for the body and mind senorita." "Hello." " Hello." "Pinto." "Get me a Bournvita." "I've something to say as well." "Go ahead." "When two hearts are in love, then why... are people jealous?" "In simple words it's called..." "It's called Love-sick." "Love-sick." "Love-sick." "Very nice, very nice." " Thank you." "I'll pass on your poetry to Ms. Josephine." "Why will you?" "I'm going to see her right now." "You're going?" " Yes, of course." "'Sid really made a mess.'" "'But, if he meets Ms. Josephine it will cause real trouble.'" "Hey, what happened?" "Mr. Furtado, how did you suddenly decide on meeting her today?" "Ms. Josephine." " Yes." "If you meet Mr. Joseph, there will be trouble." "You're right, there will be trouble" "Wait." " Yes." "Actually, Mr. Joseph only looks good in trailers." "If you watch the entire film, you'll run away before interval." "If I watch the entire film, how can I run away before interval?" "What are you saying, Jai?" "Ms. Josephine is a shopaholic." " Shopaholic." "She spends more time in shopping malls." "You'll have to keep your wallet loaded, Mr. Furtado." "And, she can turn Big Bazaar into small Bazaar." "Think." "Good heavens my boy." "Every woman in the world has the same weak point." "Shopping." "No problem." "That's not a problem." "But, just tell me." "It's not right to borrow 100,000-200,000 from the market." "100,000-200,000?" "That's what Mr. Joseph spends on drinks in a month." "I mean alcohol." "Mr. Joseph drinks?" "He doesn't always drink." "Like, he doesn't drink when he's asleep." "But, once he's awake he drinks till he goes to bed." "He'll deport the bottle from his life once he gets my support." "Mr. Furtado, Ms. Josephine gambles as well." "So sad." "What else can a lonely lady do?" "Ms. Josephine." "Yes." "Mr. Joseph abuses as well." "Poor thing." "Loneliness makes a man irritated." "Who says he's alone?" "What?" " How do I say it?" "He's having an affair." "Don't you know?" "But, how's that possible?" "Who is he?" " There's someone." "And, he's become her life." "No." "Dear mother of God." "It's okay, Ms. Josephine." "That's how men are." "Don't worry." "A moment of happiness." "The heart pined and cried out." "You punished me for my love." "What was my crime, that I was ruined?" "I was ruined." "I was ruined in your love." "Sid." "Uncle and grandma aren't home." "I'm all alone at home." "Come to the bedroom, I want to show you something." "Why bedroom?" " Come to the bedroom I said." "I ordered it over the internet, especially for you." "What are you staring at?" "Can't you help?" " Yes." "Yeah, Sid." "A little higher." "Just there." "'A photo of her private tattoo. '" "'How's it on my phone?" "'" "'She's a witch." "She will ruin your life.'" "Sid..." "Seema, I'm a little..." "Can I get some water?" " Okay." "Thanks." "'I've been to her bedroom.'" "'On the left are her tees, and on right are abracadabra in her drawer.'" "Water." "You're really fast, Seema." "You brought water so quickly." "Actually, you drink it." "I just remembered something, I've to go." "Sid." "Sid, what happened?" "Are you okay?" "Did I say something wrong?" "Seema." "I am very simple." "I need time-out, even for small things." "You..." "I can't match-up to your speed, Seema." "What do you mean by speed?" "Sid, wait." "Look, Seema." "This relation means a lot to me." "It's not a game for me." "I beat up my friends for you." "For me?" " They were right about you." "So, you're judging me on their words." "If that's the case, Sid." "Then you've a problem, not me." "Sid." "What's the point of a relationship where you trust others more than me?" "No, I've already trusted them, Seema." "My friends were right." "You Seema, have no boundaries." "And my dad was absolutely right." "All civilians aren't just cowards, but paranoid too." "And that's exactly why you left your great father and came here?" "Nonsense." "Coward." "Thank you, thank you." " One more." "One more?" "As I shot the lion in the court." "As I shot the lion in the court." "The lioness became a widow." "Great!" "Great!" "Great!" "Great!" "Why are you hearing my poetry tonight?" "I can't sleep you dog." "Why?" " It's 1:30." "Sid hasn't returned yet." "Omi." "Are Sid and Seema doing the scene from the A certified dirty film?" "Look." "Don't say that." "Stop." "Where are you going leaving me?" "Stay with me..." "Just a minute." "She's fast, and so are you?" "Everyone's fast, I'm the only one that's slow." "Jai." " Sid." "Omi." " What happened?" "Every friend is important. '" "Sid." "What's wrong with you?" "I'm so sorry I hit you guys." "Hit me." "Hit me." " What are you doing?" "You two were right." "If love's pants, friendship is underwear." "If the pant tears the underwear saves you." "Buddies... you're my shorts." "From today, no Seema." "Only Jai and Oma." " Omi." "What?" " Nothing." "We're happy that you've seen the light, Sid." "Now, we'll open the bottle as well." "My passive-aggressive friend, fell in love." "Like a old-torn rag lover, fell head over heels for her." "My passive-aggressive friend, fell in love." "Like a old-torn rag lover, fell head over heels for her." "As the world saw this, they said." "As the world saw this, they said." "As the world saw this, they said." "Blind horse... running the race." "Blind horse... running the race." "Gait like a hero." "Red like a buffoon." "Not beat or sync." "He's running." "Like gold covered metal." "You can't woo that girl." "It's a rubbish love story." "He's running." "From far it looked someone's beating the drum." "When I took a closer look, my ears started blowing." "As the world saw this, they said." "As the world saw this, they said." "As the world saw this, they said." "Blind horse... running the race." "Blind horse... running the race." "Blind horse... running the race." "Blind horse... running the race." "'God." "I can't believe that Mr. Joseph seeing someone... '" "'Once I meet him and clear everything.'" "Mr. Joseph." "Ms. Josephine." " You?" "Here?" "Actually, I..." "I..." "Came here to sell something." "Part time job." "Part time..." "Brings whiteness in this colour-changing world." "Fragrant, lathery Chamko." "How poetic." "What poetry." "How wonderful." "Do you want to buy it?" "Of course." "But, I don't know how to use it." "Lf... if you can give me a demonstration, I..." " Why not." "Can I get half a bucket of water?" " Of course." "For drinking?" " No." "For this." "How stupid of me." "Pinto." "Pinto." "Get a bucket of water." "Silly of me." "Nervous." "Sorry." "Pinto, thank you." "You can go." "What?" " Go on..." "Go collect Tommy's debt." "Yes, that rascal..." " No abusing." "No abusing." "Sorry." "'Mr." "Joseph's definitely not abusive.'" "The price is very reasonable as well." "During these times of inflation, this is the best option." "Yes." "'Ms." "Josephine doesn't look like someone who splurges money.'" "Do you have any dirty laundry at home?" "Girl!" " Laundry?" "Laundry." "Yes." "Whatever." "Dirty laundry." "Where do I get that from?" "They're all clean..." "Very, very dirty." "This is so dirty." "Stinking." "Thank you." "This is going to take about five minutes." " Yes." "No problem." "By the way, it's evening would you like something to drink?" "Do you drink every day?" " Daily." "Daily?" " Daily." "I'll get one for you as well." "Bloody drunkard!" "Here you are, Tulsi tea." "Herbal tea." "Towel for you." " Thanks." "This is very good." "Not harmful at all." "This is the only thing I drink." "'That means Mr. Joseph definitely doesn't drink." "Please, take a seat." "It will be taken five minute." "By the way, I'm sure you like films." "And your favourite film must be 'The Great Gambler'." "'The Great Gambler'?" " Yes." "About gambling." "No, it can only be a gambler's favourite." "Not my cup of tea." "'That means she doesn't gamble.'" "Are you sure?" "Quite surprising, Mr. Joseph." "You don't know how to wash clothes." "Or, is there someone who washes them?" "There is someone." " What?" "Pinto." "He washes my clothes." " I see." "You are still not in my life..." "I'm sorry." "That's exactly what I want to know." "If not me, then who else is in your life?" " No one." "So, you're actually single like me." " Yes." "Since a long time." "And, is there anyone in your life..." " Only Joseph." "Brings whiteness in this colour-changing world." "Fragrant, lathery Chamko." "Hand me a cigarette." " I don't have one." "Check his drawer." "Poison?" "But we'll have to take off the sheet to identify the body." "Rascal." " Really." "Sid." "Oh my, God." "Sid." "Sid." "What?" "Why didn't you go to college?" " I don't want to go anywhere." "But why?" " Jai, please leave me alone." "I don't want to go anywhere." "So, will you keep lying here all day?" "No, for a change I'll die." "Always bothering me." "You two are too much." "He's really madly in love with Seema." "Jai, Sid never lies." "He'll die." "But, what now?" "You said Seema's a cheap girl." "And you said she's too fast." "Omi." "The flashback that I showed everyone..." "Was a lie." " What?" "Nothing happened with Seema." "Her grandma flogged me with that belt." "That reminds me, Jai." "Nothing happened between me and Seema either." "Her dog bit me in the back." "You liar." "Aren't you ashamed?" " And you?" "I'm saying it for me too." " Sorry." "But, that means..." "Seema's a nice girl." "No, friend." "Call her sister-in-law." "From today, Seema's our friend, our brother's bride." "Go, Omi." " Yes." "And tell Sid the truth." " Yes." "Listen." " Tell him the truth!" "He beat me when I lied to him." "If we tell him the truth, he'll definitely kill us." "Jai." "What now?" "Friend, if Don 2, Dhoom 2 and Krish 2 is possible." "Then we can certainly make part 2 of our friend's love-story." "Part 2!" "Type sorry for Seema." "And also an awesome romantic poem." "Hurry up." "Done." "No more cheating." "No more cheating." "Where's the phone?" "Where's the phone?" "You're sitting on it." "I was wondering what's vibrating." "Message from Sid." "I don't want to read it." "He's said sorry." "And, he's also sent a poem." "Woman are strange beings." "If you say something, they puff their mouth." "And, if you do something their stomach's puff up." "Bloody cheap." "What does 'stomach puff up' mean?" "Rascal, who sends such poems." "Are you made." "Seema." "What's written?" "Every boy's like a soft drink bottle." "They've nothing up there except for a lid." "This is so..." "We'll have to think of a new way to patch them up." "Hold on." "Tomorrow's 'Woman's Day' right?" " Yes." "So, what if Sid sends Seema a romantic gift?" "Why will he?" " Dude, we'll send her." "And say, Sid's sent it." "We'll give her the gift and say..." "What an idea?" "And gift should make Seema melt like ice." "I see." "Let's look." "Come on." "Gift for sister-in-law..." "Omi..." "I found the present." " Where?" "There." "Seema won't melt with this, she'll become stiffer." "Are you crazy?" "You're the crazy." "Once Seema sees this gift, she will call Sid." "Wrong, Sid." "Once she gets this present, Sid will have no future." "You're so rustic, Omi." "Sid's mom, Seema's uncle." "All the elders want to see Seema in this avatar." "Are you crazy?" "Once Seema accepts this gift then, just visualize this, Omi." "Sister-in-law Seema." "Wearing this." "Along with Sid, she's bending down..." " Bending down..." "Bending down..." " Enough." "And taking everyone's blessings." " Think." "Jai." "Why are you turning Yashraj's Chandni to Madhur Bhandarkar's Chandni Bar." "Omi." "Answer this." "Every lover..." "wants to see his love, in this avatar." "Right?" "Say yes or no." " Yes." "So, that's it." "Buy it and parcel it." "I'll get the credit card." "We've found the gift." "Excuse me." " Yes." "Just... parcel this colourful one for me." "Okay." "It's for my sister-in-law." " Come." "Gift wrap." "'Dear, Seema.'" "'Since the time I saw you... ' '..." "I've always wanted to see you in this.'" "'I love you with all my heart." "Sid.'" "Sid!" "This..." "Sister-in-law!" "Sister-in-law!" "What have you done?" "What is this?" "Looks nice." "Who the hell you think you are?" "Come out if you've the guts." "Come out and show your face." "Girl?" "She's screaming for me." " Let's take a look." "Let's see..." "Don't look." "Seema, why are you screaming?" "What are you doing?" "You stop screaming." "Cheesy, cheapo, bloody bore, fool." "Dad was right." "All civilians are a bunch of cowards." "If it was some army officer he would've had the guts to say sorry on my face." "Bloody..." "Sending me down-market messages." "Since the day you saw me, you want to see me in a bikini." "What nonsense, liar." "Bloody pervert." "Sid!" "Sid!" "Sid!" "Listen." "She isn't the liar." "We are." " Yes, Sid." "She's as honest as you are." "What..." "Where are you hiding?" "The flashback we showed you, was a lie." "It's all a lie." "What are you two saying?" "Look up." " Look." "Old hag." " Old hag is your mother!" "'Aaryabhatt leave my butt.'" "Listen." "We sent the bikini, card, messages to correct our mistakes." "Shut up." "What kind of friends are you?" "Seema." "This is my last warning." "If you bother me again, you'll regret it." "Seema, wait." "I'm coming." "I need to talk to you." "Don't go." "Just a minute." "Bye." "I'm coming, wait." "Sid, stop." "Sid, listen." " Sid." "Sid." "Sid." "Sid." "Seema." " Safe." "Seema, please." "I'll just come." "Seema." "Seema." "Seema." "Seema, stop." "Please." "This is love, no need to cry." "We've toilet paper, wipe it dry." "That was a nice one, come on." "You talk to Seema." "What's the difference between you and me today." "Son, come in." "Not welcome." "Go, please." " Look." "Please, I said get out." "Go out." "It was a misunderstanding." "I didn't send the bikini..." " I am not interested." "Listen..." " Die." "What are you doing, Seema." "You invite just anyone in." "I don't want to meet him." "Civilian." "Romeo." "My Majnu." "My Amol Palekar." "Come on." "Come on." "Come, come." "Yes, sir." "Give me your hand." "Don't pull me down, you come up." " Yes." "Help yourself." "Careful..." "Sir." "These day, you've to be like Salman Khan not Amol Palekar when wooing a girl." "Enough." "What's happening, uncle." "I'm trying to explain him..." " Don't interfere between us, please." "Seema..." " Salman Khan." "Look, Seema." "Actually, once I make a commitment I never listen to anyone." "I..." " Get out of here, please." "Even I can't do anything now." "He's not a bad boy..." " Please." "He's very bad." "You feel pity for him." " He's very bad." "Forgive him." "Once I make a commitment I never listen to anyone..." "Amol Palekar." "Siddharth." "What the..." "You?" " Yes, me." "You?" " Yes, me." "Now I get it." "You two are responsible for the tiff between Siddharth and Seema." "That's not true, grandma." " Yes, that's not true at all." "Son, will you please pass me that broom." "Yes, grandma." "Here you go, grandma." "You dare make them argue." "Grandma, water." "Drink it." "What's this photo doing amongst these ones?" "Grandma, it increases the value of others." "Siddharth's such a innocent, so sober." "And you two, are worthless." "Grandma." "We admit it's our mistake, but..." "Please help us, grandma." "Please help us, grandma." "We can do anything to patch them up." "Sing DDLJ's tune." "Lay leaves on the ground like 'Mohabbatein'." "Even use the hammer like Ghajini." "Just a minute." "The films... gives me an idea." " What?" "To bring Siddharth and Seema together let's make a filmy plan." " Filmy?" "Yes." "This isn't filmy, but a flop plan." "Sid." "This plan will surely pass." " Pass." "Pass doesn't sound so right from your failures." "Fine." "This plan will definitely not fail." "Okay." "Siddharth, you're a friend." " Don't call me your friend." "Friends." "Enough." "You know, the word friend sounds so bad when you say it." "What do you two want?" "First, you separate Seema and me then you plan to get us back together." "What the hell." "Your fun and frolic has ruined my life." "Don't you two care?" "Friends." "Don't call me a friend." "Don't insult me." "Sid." "I admit, we did wrong to you." "But, we want to correct that mistake." "We never achieved any degree in life, Sid." "But, whether we do or not but, we want to be the best in the subject of friendship." "The best." "Yes, Sid." "It was mistake." "But, that's all." "So," "Even if we die, we'll soothe this pain." "We'll leave only memories in our friend's heart." "Such a beautiful poem, at this emotional point." "Do you mean it?" " Totally." "Did you mean what you said?" "Sure?" "You two stop crying." "What's this?" "Seeing us cry is making you emotional, Sid?" "No, you look really ugly crying." "What?" " You've a problem with that too." "I was just joking." "So, tell me." "What was your plan?" "Your flop plan." "Let's make it a hit." "Really?" " Will you do it?" "Yes, we will." "Isn't that a little too much?" " Do it." "Take off the glasses." "Grandma, we aren't we hiring a rickshaw or a taxi." "We've been walking for so long." "Yes." "No!" "The doctor's asked me to walk." "Let's go there." "Jagawar." " Baktawar." "Elders say, you should repent for your sins." "But, let's commit a sin first." "What a gait." " What a beauty." "What a tresses." " What white tresses." "Hey, fancy dress." "Who do you think you are?" " Ravan." "Wanna be my Chammak Challo." "You haven't seen the other side of me, I'm telling you." "Fine, turn around and we'll see the other side as well." "What nonsense." "Let go." "Let go." "Age no bar." "What are you doing?" "Let go." "Come on." "Stop." "Stop." "Stop." "What happened, old woman?" " Old." "Who are you calling old?" "Where are you going?" "Lahore via Kuwait." "Where's that?" "Lahore via Kuwait." " I see." "But, why are you two in a haste?" "Goons are after us." "Give us a lift." "Quickly." "I've said many girls in my life." "Chlorine, lodine, Afreen, Nazneen." "Hop in." "Yes, get in." "Get in." " Or those goons will come." "Grandma!" "Let's go." " Grandma!" "Grandma!" " Sit down baby!" "Seema's been kidnapped." "Stop." "Stop." "Stop." "Stop." "My granddaughter's been kidnapped." "My granddaughter's been kidnapped." "Grandma, you're overacting." "Let's go." "Grandma, think about your age." "Let me go." "Let me go." "Help." "Help." "Rascal." "Let me go." "Now, there's not even a dog around this place." "Why?" "There's you three." "Just let me go, and I'll rearrange your faces." "We've already changed that." "What nonsense..." " What nonsense." "Shut up, sister-in-law." " Shut up." "Bobby..." "Babby..." "You must be thinking some hero will come save you in this graveyard." "He'll come on a scooter." "And he'll shout 'Stop'!" "Stop!" "The saviour's here." "Slayer of Sinners." "Destroyer of evil." "Like Rajnikant..." "I can..." " That's better." "Let the girl go, or else..." "When I'm good, I'm good." "When I'm good, I'm good." "When I'm bad, I'm even better." "Sorry." "Sid!" "Like I said, don't lock horns with Thakur." "What are you doing?" "Just a minute." "That's all?" " That's all for today." "I'll beat them black and blue." " No, no." "Let them go." "I won't spare them." " Siddharth." "I'll teach them a lesson." "Why you..." "It's my butt baby." "Seema." "What are you doing?" "Leave me." "He's an old man." " Who are you calling old?" "Listen." "Control yourself." " Leave me." "They were kidnapping me." "Police?" " Police." "We did nothing." "We're just playing." "Look at their faces." "Look." "They look like rapists." "And, him." "Bomb specialist." "And me?" "Me?" "And he..." " What happened, sir?" "He looks like a terrorist." "Inspector." "Not every bearded man's Osama." "He can be Kabuliwala as well." "See." "See." "See." "Uncle!" "Uncle, you?" "Your grandma forced me... to do this." "No, dear." "These two forced me to do this." "Jagawar." " Bakhtawar." "You two..." "They're my friends." "Jai." " Omi." "Seema, they tried to separate us, but..." "Then they realised their mistake." "Yes, sister-in-law Seema." "Seeing Sid's true love for you we thought we should correct our mistake." "Those card, bikini, messages, those flop lines were ours." "Sid didn't..." " Sid's really nice, sister-in-law Seema." "He's very nice." "We're nice too." " We're nice." "But we're really sorry." " Sorry." "Seema, forgive them." "Their intentions were good." "Forgive me too." "I am sorry, Seema." "Very sorry." "Seema." "Would you like to hang out with me for the rest of your life?" "Please." "Awesome, boss." "Over and out." "It's done." "It's done." "But who will get us out of here?" " Who will." "I will." "I?" "Who's that?" "Surprised?" "Mr. Joseph, Ms. Josephine." "You two are in love." "Over and out." "Mother!" "Go Major." "Go for him." "Where are you going?" "Let go." "I said leave me." " Bring her..." "So, You're Seema's real He-man." "Even if you're not wearing your underwear outside." "You're her true Superman." "Wow." "Beat him." "What would I do without you two?" "Beat him." "Come on." "Sid, come on." "Sid's winning." "See Omi, he really beat him up." " Daddy, please." "Please, daddy." "Sir." "Army-civilian, what's all this..." "Why don't you understand that a common man joins the army." "Sir... as a father, you've the first right over Seema." "She's your daughter." "Just a minute." "Awesome, friend." "Chiku." "We always fought over a minute." "I was right." "One minute is very valuable." "This boy's explained me the value of one minute in a minute." "In one minute." " Brother." "Chiku." " Go on." "Santru." "From today I'm your blanket, you're my quilt." "I am your Honda, you are my Hundai." "I am underwear, and you're my necktie." "I salute you, brother." "Mom." "I did it." "So..." "So friends..." "In this temple of education there's a statue of education here, and speeches there." "...there's a statue of education here, and speeches there." "But unfortunately..." "Unfortunately, we don't have Dirty Picture's Vidya Balan." "Thank you." "Great, great." "Who are you?" "Who appoints people to beat up others?" "Every poet has feelings." "Now run after me if you want to." "Handsome and healthy." "But stupid idiots." "But one and the same." "Handsome and healthy." "But stupid idiots." "But one and the same." "Useless, good for nothing." "Ward off the evil-eye." "Friends on the face." "Enemies behind the back." "If you're in a problem, just cut out." "If it's free, use all you want." "Save yourself and run." "They always chat on whatsapp." "But, they pull the rug from below your feet." "Always ready to slander you." "Every friend is a rascal." "Every friend is a rascal." "Every friend is a rascal." "Every friend is a rascal." "They say friends should be trusted, with eyes closed." "Listen to me, don't do that." "Always stay careful of your friends." "Whether you're happy..." "Or you're sad..." "They'll cut out and get you in trouble." "They always chat on whatsapp." "But, they pull the rug from below your feet." "Always ready to slander you." "Every friend is a rascal." "Every friend is a rascal." "Every friend is a rascal." "Every friend is a rascal." "Every friend is a rascal." "Is a rascal."