"Alfredo!" "Alfredo?" "!" "Alfredo?" "He's coming right now!" "Alfredo?" "Alfredo..." "It's Morretti." "Moretti!" "I fixed you some lentils." "Eat them after midnight, they bring good luck." "There's some wine and an orange." "It's small but very sweet." "How do you feel?" " What do you think?" "Daddy, shall we break the piggy bank?" "You break it, at midnight." "As soon as the year ends." "No, we'll be sleeping." "No, why?" "Celebrate the New Year without me." "Bye." "Alfredo, your bag." "No, we're not celebrating anything without you." "At that time you'll be under ground..." "I mean, in the subway." "We'll have some broth and then we'll all go to bed... right, children?" "We'll celebrate tomorrow with you." "Good night Alfredo." "Bye." " And happy New Year." "Happy ending..." "Mother, take the meat off the fire!" "Assuntina, go down the cafe and telephone... uncle Francesco, uncle Pasquale and aunt Cesira." "Tell them we're expecting them, and to bring the eel, and plenty." "You, break the piggy bank, so we can play bingo." "It smells so good!" "Delicious!" " Poor Alfredo!" "Well!" "What he doesn't know won't hurt him." " Thank goodness!" "Colombini, did you keep count?" " Of what?" "I thought about it at the bus stop." "How many are we for dinner?" "Well, easy to say." "Myself, you,..." "Mirabiondi, Frangipane, Amapola..." " Michele, Mario," "Baldissarri, Lambertuccia, and Caterina." "Keep going" "Giovanni, Pennellone and Neri... 13!" " Right!" "New Year's eve dinner in 13!" ""I'll take care of it, I'll organise it."" "An idiot like you can't organise!" "Well, I made a mistake!" "Even priests make mistakes, no?" " So?" "What do we do?" "We'll fix things up somehow, and find a good soul to be the 14th." "So late?" "It's after 8 o'clock you know?" "Let's bring Pannocchia." "Give it a try." "But he's so ugly!" "Will you come to dinner?" " No!" "Why not to dinner with us?" "I already have an invitation!" "Take that!" "Listen to that!" "An invitation!" "And who invited you?" "That's my business, OK?" "It's not okay!" "Well then... work!" "It's 8:00, almost 8:05, so I'm leaving!" "I don't have time to waste." "Goodbye." "He's funny, he makes me laugh." " OK, but what do we do now?" "By the way." "I have an idea." "Let's call Tortorella." "Who's that?" "Tortorella!" "Gioia..." "She's always alert, always available." "I'll call Mimi." "She sees her at Cinecitta." "But tell her to bring her share, I won't shell out a penny, huh?" "Miracle, miracle!" "Pediconi!" " Damn shoes!" "Take out the 3rd from the left!" "Does he look like he's had a miracle?" "Me?" " Yes, you!" "The director is right." "This is a mystic scene." "He's even cautioned, boss!" " Tortorella, speak for yourself!" "Mind your own crap or I'll slug you in the face!" "Come on, be quiet!" "Tortorella is right." "Sure, she's always right!" "And you all, do like she does..." "she's gives her whole self." "Ready!" "But that guy has to stop using his hands!" "Let's hurry." "After this scene we'll all go home to celebrate." "Ready then?" "Look out for the watches." "Ready?" "Pediconi, good boy, go take St Zeno's place." "Damn him!" "Engine!" "Rolling!" "Clapper!" " 127, third!" "Action!" "Look at me, I'm St Zeno." "The lions don't tear me apart." "They're moving back." "Miracle!" "Look at me!" "I'm St Zeno!" "Miracle, miracle!" " Stop!" "Okay!" "Okay, that's enough." "See you tomorrow!" "Goodnight everyone." "Happy New Year!" "Stop!" "Keep quiet!" "That's all." "I didn't take the sandals." "Here's the tunic." "Gimme a hand!" " Here!" "Are you in a hurry?" " I'll miss my bus." "Darn it!" "I've put on weight." " I think so!" "What are you doing tonight?" " What I'm doing?" "I have an invitation from whatshisname..." "Who?" " From..." "Then maybe something else too." "I have yet to decide." " You're still with that accountant?" "Who?" "Capecchi?" "It's over, he wasn't my type." "His wife caught him and beat him up!" "Say, why did you ask me what I am doing tonight?" "Well, just so..." " Why?" "Say!" "I wanted to ask you to come with us." "Who's "us"?" "It's a nice group of people." "But if you're busy..." " But I can cancel!" "Have you got a nice dress?" " I've bought an evening gown... for the inaugration of the film "Night at the Grand Hotel"." "What are you wearing on top?" "You can't imagine!" "Foxes!" "OK then." "Let's meet at 10 at the Esedra fountain." "Look at what they've done to my new fur!" " What can you do about!" "Where do we meet?" " At Piazza Esedra." " At 10pm?" " Yes, at 10:00." "Mind you, with one thing and another it's 8,000 lire each." "Well, these are sophisticated people." "I have an idea for tonight..." " Say, say!" "I want to have my hair...." "no, I won't tell you." "New Year, new life!" "Good!" "Maybe tonight you'll find the right man." "Maybe my angel will make me grace!" "I'll go, the "Nuns of Monza" are coming!" "They'll make me be late!" " Bye!" " At 10:00 at Piazza Esedra." "Alright!" "Hi there!" "Hi Spizzico." "You're punctual." "Spizzico is always punctual." "The agreement is clear." "Gold and jewels." "Stuff that can be melted." "No voluminous stuff, I won't take it." "I don't go to ballrooms for mattresses and blankets!" "Small size stuff, don't worry." "His work is high class!" "Do you have a cigarette?" "Give him a cigarette." "Come on." "How do you pay?" "Well!" "Tell him, what did you bring last time?" "Diamonds so big they looked like peach kernels." "Paid how?" "Like peach kernels!" "Pecori', we're talking business." "So don't play the fool, okay?" "Never mind!" "Rather, did you find me a supporting man?" "Spizzico told me about, but I can't tonight." "I'm having dinner with my sick father." "How's he going to eat if he's sick!" "Does he have tapeworm?" "It's not easy, you know?" "You want someone special, even in black tie." "I snooped around, there aren't many people suited for high class places." "And those few don't trust you." "They don't know you." "Well, I was out of town." " Weren't you in for theft?" "They told you not to play the fool!" "I've been abroad 3 years." "We know it." "You're smart!" "Making the rounds of the nightclubs on New Year's Eve is a good idea." "Excellent, indeed!" "Why don't you go alone?" "So you don't have to split." "I pick up and pass on." "I never keep the stuff on me." "It's a nervous thing." "If I don't pass it on immediately, I'm fucked." "Want a personable guy?" "Clean record, and with a tailcoat?" "Umberto Pennazzuto." " Who? "Accident"?" " Yes!" "Why not?" "Why not?" ""Accident"?" "Who is that?" "A guy who's an extra in Cinecittà." "And every time, he has an accident, just to get medical insurance." "Got it?" "Then, he's a beggar." "Who should assist you on the job, Dante Alighieri?" "Well?" "Gotta clear the room!" "Dancing, tonight!" "You won't protest, with 3 months rent late, right?" "Pennazzuto, telephone." " There he is!" " Coming!" "Hello?" "Spizzico who?" "Oh yes." "Cheers." "Of course I have a dinner jacket." "What sort of job is it?" "And you call that a job?" "!" "I know, but it's not for me." "No, it's not that I'm scared shitless..." "Just, it's not my thing." "Besides, I have a commitment." "Yes, a lady." "In short, all considered, it's not worth it." "Sorry." "If I change my mind, I'll call." "Happy New Year." "Goodbye." "Well, well!" "You're even refusing work now?" "30 lire!" "I am the great director Cecil B. Demille." "I want to speak to the famous actress Tortorella." "Umberto, Cecil B DeMille is dead, poor soul." "Will you stop it?" "You recognised me, huh?" "But you almost fell for it, no?" "Yeah, OK." "I had a great idea!" "Shall we spend the evening together?" "Hello?" "Tortorella are you there?" "I mean, are you there?" "I was saying... shall we spend New Year's together, like last year?" "It brings us luck!" "Luck, you say?" "I've never seen a year like this one!" "Thinking it over, maybe it was you who gave the jinx!" "Don't get mad." "Anyway, even if I wanted, I can't." "I'm busy tonight." "Yes, I'm going out with friends." "Couldn't I come too?" "Well, I don't know... yes... maybe." "But I'm warning you, it's 8 to 10,000 lire each." "Are you there?" "Well, goodnight, and happy New Year." "'Night." "He even made me get cold." "30 lire!" "Tortorella, get me the hot water bottle." "You're leaving me all alone." " Be patient." "Patient what?" "Look what you're doing!" "Grandpa it's late!" "I just need the hairdryer." "You see what you've done?" " That's it!" "Watch out for the casserole." "Oh, my lentils!" "Don't get angry." " Sure, I'm angry!" "Darn that Umberto, he made me late!" "What Umberto!" "Darn you!" " Darn him!" "You'd better leave!" "Go on, go dancing and leave me alone!" "Damn, how hot!" "It runs on normal or industrial current?" "What happened Tortorella?" "Oh, great!" "Did the valves go off?" "What do we do now?" " Grandpa!" "The valves went off, see?" "I can't see a thing!" "We've got to fix them." "I'm not moving!" "I don't have my slippers." " How, you're not moving!" "Don't make a fuss!" "Come on, it's late, I'll take you." "I won't budge!" " Come on!" "Be good!" "I'm strong, hold onto me." "Hold onto me!" "Damn, are you heavy!" "Are you crazy?" " Are you idiot?" "Want to kill us right on New Year's?" "Go ahead, be funny!" " Why, what's up?" " We are in 13!" "Why?" "Tortorella said she would come." " Yes, but Amapola is not." "She got an infection from an injection." "That big!" " Got that?" "Dumb of me to trust you!" "You shouldn't have invited Tortorella." "Dumb alright!" "What you saying?" "If you hadn't nagged me I wouldn't have called her." "Well, Tortorella will stay home." "Mimì, go phone her." "Are you crazy?" "Now?" "You could've thought of it before." "Why, what time is it?" "It's almost 10.05." " 10.05?" "Hey!" "So, it's past 10:00." "You know what's new?" "Go!" " Let's hurry!" "Goodnight." "This isn't the Trevi fountain, you know?" "Where is Trevi fountain?" "Darn it!" "How do you say...?" "Damn bitch!" " Hey!" "That's not very nice!" "Naughty word?" "Oh, sorry." "Damn b... now I'm saying it!" "Am I at the wrong fountain too?" "Good evening, sorry about the delay." "Excuse me, are you Lello?" "What are you wearing?" "Why?" " Look at you!" "You're asking why?" "Of course I say why!" "When Spizzico called me, he said to wear a dinner jacket." "And what's this?" "You look like a waiter!" " Oh no, dear friend!" "At a grand evening, a real gentleman wears a tuxedo if he wants to be noticed." "That's how it is, my friend!" "Aside from the fact that you should go unnoticed, almost invisible, does a real gentleman go out without a coat?" "I have one, but it's brown, and it clashes with my tuxedo." "This way I look like a gentleman that's just gotten out of his car." "Let me tell you." "I am an authority on men's elegance!" "Do you know what to do?" " More or less." "You must stay near me, but without showing that we're together." "I must put what I pick into your pocket." "But how can I if you don't have one?" " It's alringt!" "I have a secret pocket!" "I used this tuxedo when I worked with the magician Castelli." "Look that ..." "So, I'll leave the club and wait for you outside." "Right?" "No, it's not right!" "Go to the bathroom and hide the objects in the flush tank." "Clear?" "Then come back to me." "The ticket." " You took care of everything!" "I'm going ahead." "Come in in 5 minutes and stay by the 3rd pillar." "What pillar?" " 3rd pillar to the right, got it?" "Stay there until I signal you." "In 5 minutes." "You got a watch?" " No." " Then count to 500." "What manners!" "Umberto!" "Umberto!" "Go on there." "It's Tortorella." "Tortorella?" "Are you blonde?" "Looks good, huh?" " How pretty!" "You know who you look like?" "Kim Novak." " And you look like a crow, instead." "...58, 59, 60..." " What are you doing?" "I was saying...you're blonde!" " You already said that." "Are you going with your friends?" "Yes... no, because of you!" " Because of me?" "Your phone call delayed me so much... and I was late to the meeting point." "Happy now?" "I went to the Hungarian restaurant, but they weren't there either." "I'm glad!" "Why, are..." "are you alone too?" "Well, yes." "Then let's go have a good time together." "I could slap myself in the face." "I'd break my head!" "I could punch myself in the eye." " Why?" "I was born with the jinx!" " I know this!" "How?" "You're free, and I'm..." "I shouldn't tell you..." "I have an engagement here." "Who with?" "With a "femme"?" " More or less." "And you would kick yourself for that?" "If you care to be with me, let's go in anyway, and when comes.." "the lady,.." "we'll take turns dancing with you." "Come on, hurry!" " No!" "Listen!" "Let's go somewhere else." "Let's have a pizza, huh?" "I'm not even supposed to see her?" "What a gem she must be!" "I won't throw a jealous fit." "She can't be worse than what I imagine!" "Let's go inside and I'll leave you alone when I see all my friends." "I want to have a good time tonight." " Lady!" "What about me?" "Pay the taxi!" "Who, me?" " Yes you!" "How much?" " 1,000." "1,000?" "!" " 1,000." "Come on!" "What's he doing?" "It's all the cold I caught at the fountain." "Get moving, Umberto." "Go look for a table." "Think what you want, but I can't move from here." " Here, where?" "From the column." " Are you crazy?" " I may be, but I cannot move from here." "Look for a table." "When your girlfriend comes, you get up and call her." "I can't." "The date is here." "We're not going to stand here like two idiots." "Come on!" "Then, you look for the table!" "How rude!" "You're sending a lady to look for it?" "Come on, move!" "No, I can't." " Umberto, we're amidst the crowd." "Come on, move." "Alright, I'll go, but don't move from here." "Don't move from here, and hold the pillar." " Yes!" "Otherwise someone might take it away!" "What a character." "Ladies and gentlemen, please!" "Silence!" "We continue the lottery." "Please, some silence!" "In the interest of all!" "Silence, please." "We will continue our lottery." "For people who have just arrived, we repeat that the numbers drawn correspond to the numbers on the entrance tickets." "Excuse me, excuse me." "Did someone come for me?" " No, not even the mail." "But someone arrived for me." "If you're not careful, they'll kidnap me." "Did you find a table?" " No, everything's taken." "Because you're a ham!" "You want to bet I'll find one?" "Then find one!" "Listen, if you want to get rid of me just say so." "I didn't seek you, and I can find plenty of escorts..." "Indeed, I found one." "He's been staring at me for an hour." "He's younger, and even handsome." "You boor!" "The lovely Miss Ruoppolo,.." "daughter of our esteemed member, Mr Eugenio,.." "is drawing the number for the lucky winner of the 3rd prize!" "...and the lady: "why, do you want it?"" "That's too good!" "We've got to tell that to Dinetti!" "Where did he go?" "So, the first number drawn, will be entitled to the third prize." "The second number to the second prize, and so on." "Is it clear?" "Is it clear to all?" "Pardon me, I'd like to take a look." "Pardon me." "Just one moment." "No, I can't see him." "Where is he?" "Dinetti?" "The number is... 61!" "Where is De Nepi?" "Go find him." "Where has he gone?" "I don't understand." "Please check your entrance ticket!" "I repeat: 61!" "I got it!" "Umberto, we have the 61!" "Here it is!" "The 61!" "You win a 70% discount coupon for the Notargiacomo leather store." "Please gentlemen, come up here." "And a bottle of champagne of the "Tiraboschi" company, courtesy of Mr Vincenzo Tiraboschi." "A big round of applause for Mr Vincenzo Tiraboschi." "The lucky winners are none other than Mr  Mrs...?" "Umberto Pennazzuto and Gioia Fabbricotti." "I'm Pennazzuto and she's Fabbricotti." "Traders?" " No, actors." "Actors?" "!" "How come we didn't know?" "Then you're guests of honour!" "Cinema or theatre actors?" " Cinema, theatre, variety, everything." "But soon we'll be on television." "Oh!" "A fortiori, don't you think to get away with just that!" "No, we get away with just that." "A little song, a skit maybe... or a duet?" "We can't miss such an opportunity, can we?" "To her, to her." "Alright, thank you." "Thank you." "Silence please." "Mr Buzzicotto and Mrs Fabbricotti..." "Miss, please." "...and Miss Fabbricotti, will now perform...?" "We'll decide on it now." "Excuse me, we must talk it over." "There he is!" "Dinetti, come here!" "At last!" "Listen to this one, it's hilarious..." "May I use this little hat?" "Do you mind?" "Ready, maestro?" "My pin!" "Oh God, where is my brooch?" "!" "Look, pull out the brooch!" "Don't play tricks!" "It must have been Riccardo." " Out with the brooch, no tricks!" "Crazy!" " We can't do anything this way." "Lady?" "Lady!" "Lady, here is the brooch." "It was near the plant." "Silence please, gentlemen." " Gentlemen, we are artists!" "There's a lady, it's not nice!" "Please, maestro." "# Geppina, smoky girl, #" "# Has a head with a turned up nose, #" "# Her love is called nobody, # # and she often goes around in a tutu. #" "# Geppina acts like the sun at night, # # and during the day she paints it blue #" "# Geppina, the more she lives and the more she dies, #" "# You see her... and then no more!" "#" "# Geppina, Gepi, your voice. #" "# Geppina, Gepi, your light. #" "# You are so strange but, I like you. #" "# I like you, I like you, the way you are. #" "Hey!" "Where are you?" "I want you." "Only you." "Only you." "Oh God, he's here!" "Here's to you, with all our compliments and best wishes." "Listen, since you are so kind, could you find us a table?" "Don't have a table?" " No." " We arrange immediately!" "Thank you, you're very kind." " Waiter!" "A table for the lady and gentleman..." "and top service!" "For two?" " Thank you!" "You're hurting me!" "Hurting?" "If you don't do as I say I'll hurt you for real!" "I couldn't leave the lady alone." "She's a colleague." "Do as you know." "Go put it in the toilet tank right away." "Yessir... but what?" "What I put in your tux!" "Umberto!" "We're invited." "We have..." " Where is it?" "We have a table!" " I lost it!" "Oh God!" " You lost something?" " No, nothing..." " What happened?" "I know what happened, but some day you'll know too." "Let's go away." "Are you crazy?" "We've got a table now." " Listen to me, let's go." "Listen, don't be a boor." "Don't spoil my evening." "The waiter is coming." "Are you having dinner?" " No." " Yes!" "Yes." " We dine, yes." "10,000." " What?" " 5,000 lire per person, a la carte." "It wasn't an invitation then." "Oh, we..." "Wait a minute, please." " Excuse us, huh?" "Don't you have the 10,000?" " No." "I paid the taxi." " What a bum you are!" "You've ruined my evening." "Jerk!" "I'm truly sorry, but the gentleman reminded me just now of another invitation I'd forgotten about." " You know how it is..." "Some other time." "Please be so kind as to give my thanks to the organisers, and..." "it's too bad!" "Thank you!" " Goodbye." "How could you embarass me like that?" "Take off that hat!" "Shall we go?" "Walk!" "What manners!" "Don't you touch me!" "The raincoat please." "Number 94." " What did you say?" " 94." "Ninety-four!" "You don't even have 10,000 lousy lire on New Year's Eve?" "Now tell me where we'll spend midnight, alone in the street." "Tell me." "You even pose as gentleman, inviting people!" "I was an idiot to fall for it." "Couldn't I stay there?" "I'd already found company." "What gentleman are you?" "You're a real party pooper." "Everything goes wrong with you!" "It's damn cold, too!" "So the lack of money is a sin?" "You must blame society, not me!" "The society of dogcatchers, that didn't catch you yet!" "Your hand off, or I'll chop it!" "If I didn't know you, I'd be offended!" " Well, you don't know me!" "So be offended, once for all!" "You're always nervous!" " Leave me alone!" "Come on, let's make peace." "I'll buy you a nice pizza!" "You got the money?" "What?" " Do you have money?" "Listen Umberto, I've got to tell you something." "I'm really fed up!" "I've been offering you pizzas and cappuccino for 20 years!" "What law says I have to do that?" "The law of gratitude." " What gratitude?" " I launched your acting career." "You..." "launched me?" "Go to..." "I'd better keep quiet!" "Look who's here!" "Umberto, Colombini!" "Look who's there!" "Hey, you fools!" "Come on, we'll have a great New Year's." "Good evening." "Good evening everyone!" "Didn't you tell me "at the Esedra fountain"?" "She's got company." "Thank God, we're 14!" " Bring your friend too." "May I?" "Come on!" " Me?" "Mimi, you know him, introduce him." "Gentlemen, Umberto Pennazzuto." " My pleasure." " We're all friends here!" "Good evening everybody!" " Ladies head of the table!" " Thank you so much." "Well guys, why don't you tell me what happened?" "I waited an hour!" " How's that possible?" "So did we!" " And how!" "At piazza Esedra?" " No!" "No." "Not exactly at piazza Esedra." "We had said at the entrance, in front of the church." " There!" "No, sorry." "Mimi had said by the fountain." "Well, church, fountain..." " And then I was by the church too, and there was none!" "I looked all over for you." "At the Hungarian restaurant, at the Grand Hotel..." "Well, all's well that ends well." "Okay a fettuccine for you?" " Sure!" " Two fettuccine, abundant!" "Today has been really rewarding, I'm really happy." " Yes?" "Oh, didn't I tell you?" "The director complimented me in front of everyone, for the miracle scene." "A really difficult scene." "Very." "All inner sufferings, with moving words, "Miracle, miracle!"." "And then, our eyes were supposed to cry out." "Eyes cry out?" "Yes, in short, to have in your eyes a light...a speaking light, there!" "They didn't notice the hair." " Right, it's true!" "Hey guys, haven't you noticed anything strange about me?" "I'm blonde, no?" "True!" "We didn't notice!" "How is it?" "I look good, no?" "You're a darling!" "Look at that cut!" " A darling!" " Have you seen?" "There he is again!" " Who?" " Don't turn around!" "Don't look now, but up at the window, there's a young man who's been following me all night." "He's cute, huh?" "Umberto!" "Don't look back now." "Behind there's a young man who was staring at me at Milleluci." "You expect me to invite him in?" "You saw?" "Tortorella, I've thought it over..." "Outside there's that woman who was looking for me." "I need to go and talk to her." "It's not nice on my side." "What?" " I have to go." "You don't need me, you got good company now." "As you wish, you're free." "Ladies, excuse me." "Happy New Year." "Where are you going?" " Are you leaving?" "No, you can't go!" "What you doing?" "You're tearing my tail!" "You're not moving from here." "Go to your place!" "Why?" " Cant't you see we're 13?" "!" "That's why you dumped me at piazza Esedra!" "Tortorella, don't be such a bore!" " Oh, even?" "Umberto..." "Umberto, slap him and tell them they are rude and ignorant." "At this hour?" " Don't do such a fuss now!" "Ah, no fuss, huh?" "Ignorant boors, that's what you are!" "Who cares about you?" "Who asked you anything?" "It was this nitwit who begged me to come." "And as thanks you leave me in the street?" "Look, you thing!" "You'll be the nitwit!" "Hey, big horse, you'd better get lower!" "If you fall you strike oil!" "Out with the cigarette case!" "Don't get smart with me!" "Where did you put it?" "I don't have it, it dropped." " I could break your arm, you know?" " I know!" "I know!" "Don't be boorish." "I'm in a delicate situation." "I'm with a respectable lady." " Listen!" "Spizzico would've given me 10,000 lire!" "That now you owe me!" " Alright!" "As soon as I find 10,000 it'll be my care!" "And don't push!" " Walk!" " Who?" "!" "I'm through, my dear friend." "I had fun enough tonight." "I haven't even had dinner!" "I can't replace you at this time at night, and I need a support." "So hurry up, and don't drag your feet!" " Even!" " And tuck your shirt in." "Move!" "Young men!" "Umberto!" " Who's that?" " What, you leave me alone?" "Allow me." "Miss Gioia Fabbricotti, Mr Lello, an acquaintance." "Pleased to meet you." "And you, did you leave those people?" " Of course, they're a bunch of boors." "I have never been treated so badly." "Tortorella, why feel bad?" "After all, they're the ones that should be ashamed." "They're not worthy to kiss the ground you walk on, I tell you!" "You're right." "And then your friend isn't interested in this." "What are you doing, taking a walk?" "I was passing by and we met." "Oh, passing by?" "Always passing by, your friend." " So, what shall we do?" "Right." "We're not going to spend midnight out in the cold, are we?" "What's on the gentleman's mind?" " Well, since I met him, I'll go along with him." "Well, he's with me, so we'll all go together, no?" "How nice!" " Tortorella, it's not..." " Do you like to dance?" "Tortorella, it's not the case!" " Umberto..." "Umberto, be good." "There are 4 cardinal points, you pick one and go that way." "Go look for that girlfriend of yours, she's been waiting all night." "How boring!" "We're going by ourselves." "The two of us, poor derelicts!" "Got an idea!" "Why don't we go to EUR?" "Wonderful!" "They say that last year there were 3 orchestras." "Yes!" " Let's go Umberto." "Come on!" "Just to dance?" " Let's take the subway, 3 stops and we're there." "Hurry, or midnight will catch us in the street!" "Careful!" "The fur will drop!" "We are on time!" " The bottle here is at risk." "Oh my God, how high!" "Excuse us!" "Get the tickets." " I've got no change!" " Each his own." " I won't permit it." "Go!" "It took New Year's Eve to see the subway." "You know, I'd never seen it before." "What Romans we are!" "Will you tell me why you left Milleluci?" " What do you think?" "Crazy!" "Mario!" "Here is the train!" "Have patience." " Have a seat, ma'am." " Thank you." "Calm down!" "Slowly!" "Stop!" "Stop, stop!" "It was you, huh?" "You did it on purpose!" "Ugly coward!" "I've got to get 50,000 lire by tomorrow." "Come on, let's go!" "Don't push me." " Go on!" "Hurry up or you'll be spending New Year's in a hospital bed." "I'm here!" "You'll have fun if you come with us to dance tonight." "Shall we take her with us, guys?" "Quiet!" "I'm here, huh?" "I'm here!" "Come with us!" "No, I don't get off here!" "I continue." "I go on!" "We arrived, guys!" "Let's get off, let's hurry!" "Farewell, my fair lady!" "Greetings!" " Greetings!" "Mr Lello?" "Mr Lello?" "Open this door, will you?" "I say, will you stop, please?" "Stop!" "Is it so hard to do?" "We can't." " Why?" " Did you miss your stop?" "I lost my friends, they couldn't get on with that crowd." "Stop, will you?" "I heard two mean yelling." "Oh yes?" "Did you see?" "Excuse me, where do you have to go?" " To EUR." "But this train doesn't go to EUR!" "We all made mistakes tonight." "Poor things!" "They surely realised that this was the wrong train." "You could've told me they were calling me, no?" "But, how could I know they were with you?" "Excuse me, I don't want to meddle, but if they had to go to EUR, the lady can get the train going in the opposite direction." "Right?" " No, wrong." "Because this is the last run, and the train goes straight to the depot." "What bad luck tonight." "Everything's gone wrong." "Everything's gone wrong." "Excuse me, but can't you stop?" "Be kind, no?" "It's not a matter of kindness." "It's that we're underground!" "I understand...we're like weasels." "My lady, that's how we're going to end up!" "Whew!" "At least we're among cheerful people!" "Have they all gone crazy?" " That's the custom." "On New Year's Eve, out the window old things must leave!" "Under here, quick!" "Damn them!" "How shameful!" "How shameful!" "What do the police do?" "!" "We deserve it, though!" "It's for the wrong we did to Tortorella." " I say she's better off than us." "She's certainly found good company, and is having fun." "Cheer up madam." "Look at us!" "Cute..." "Happy New Year to you too, my friend." "Let's kiss." "Look where I ended up!" "May I, ma'am?" "If you'd like, there are some lentils in the pan." "Oh God, no!" "No, thanks." " Try them, my wife made them." "Yes, but I have an upset stomach." " They are really good, with celery, onion..." "Thank you, but I really can't." "Not even a taste?" " No, thank you so much." "Look where I had to finish the year!" "It's crazy!" "Listen, lady." " Yeah..." "I wanted to tell you this." "We're going to the depot." "There, I have a friend who's a biker." "He lives at the EUR." "If I ask him, he'll take you there in 10 minutes." "Because, if you start looking for a taxi, it will take you at least an hour." "At least!" "You are very kind!" "Really kind!" "And, tell me, how long will it take before we get to the depot?" "We're already there!" "Damn it!" "Come on, it stopped raining." "It rains again." "What's he doing now?" "What's he doing?" "When will you arrive, on Easter?" "What's he saying?" " Dunno!" "Come on over!" "Machine!" "Forget it, buddy!" "He wants us to crush the shards with the steamroller." " Easier said!" "The machine is not ours." "Off limits!" "Of course, of course." "Sorry!" " It doesn't matter, we'll be glad to help you anyway." "With pleasure." "Right Umberto?" " Are you nuts?" " We'll swipe the bundle." "We'll clean everything!" "Don't mention it!" "Lots of work!" "Working!" "Let's take off our jackets, huh?" "Are you mad?" "It's cold!" " Take off your jacket, so he'll do the same." " OK." "Take off your jacket." "You, no take off ... jacket?" "We...take off...jacket." "Hey!" "Listen." "When we put on the clothes, you make him talk, and I'll slip off his..." "Stop!" " My jacket!" " Thief!" "Bastard!" "You understand?" "My jacket!" "He's an international thief!" "Did you see what happened?" " What, now it's my fault?" "I knew it!" "I'll catch pneumonia." " What are you doing?" " I'm warming up." "Wait, there's more." "Here he is!" "May you get a stroke!" " Come on, amigos!" "Everyone to the EUR !" "Are you ready?" "Come on, wake up!" "Now we'll look for a table down there." "In this crowd, I'll take even his pants off!" "Cheers!" "We'll take a table over there." "How much?" "Two bitters." "I forgot my cigarettes in my coat." "I'll be right back." "Beautiful lady, dance with me?" "Sorry?" "You, me, dance!" "Excuse me." "Fisherman!" "You got that?" "The wallet's tied with a chain." "It's all foreign propaganda about us." "How embarassing." "Poor Italy!" "What do you care about Italy?" "If he sticks to that nymphet, we're ruined." "So, what can you do?" " Must separate them!" " And how?" "He prefers the nymphet to us." "Call him sucker!" "Let's see what her escort thinks about it." "See?" "There he is." "Go tell him." " Me?" "!" "Yessir!" "Hurry up, go!" " But, I say...!" "Ah, waiter..." " How dare you!" "Don't you see I'm wearing a white tie?" "So?" " So, keep yourself up-to-date!" "Excuse me, huh?" "Forgive me if I'm intruding in matters that shouldn't be my concern, but, you know, when you see some not-too-orthodox attitudes, by certain people who are, in a way, considered "guests"," "these are things that hurt!" "Everyone!" "They degrade!" "They hurt!" "You understand me?" " No." "Everybody who?" "Us all!" "Us Italians!" "Do you see what that man is doing?" "If you didn't notice, then look." "But what do you care?" "Pardon!" "If that's the way things are, I make amends!" "If things are that way, can it be that ends badly!" "That American is our friend, and we don't want him to be tricked." "It seems you guys didn't come to an agreement." "I didn't understand if you are with the Americans or the Italians." "I said what I had to say." "And I say, why worry?" "The girl won't spoil your friend." "In less than an hour she'll give him back to you as such." "How much does your twinkie want?" "Fiancée, please..." "Her fare is 20,000, but tonight is a holiday, she might charge more." "That's true." "Then let's say, 50,000 for you and the rest for us." "Wait." "What do you mean, the rest for you?" "Here, if I understand, it's a matter of making a thorough lightening." "Exactly!" "Then the normal fee does not apply." "If Milena must achieve full expropriation, it's a different story." "Milena doesn't do these things, it's risky." "Okay, let's do...half and half." "I'm putting the girl." "What do you put?" " The precedence." "But I'm putting the suffering too." " But which?" "Listen to that!" "Why, you think that what Milena does, pleases me?" "If it weren't for necessity..." "Everytime I suffer." "I even get sick!" "Do we take this into account?" " Take it or leave it!" "Or I'll tell the American to watch out." "Ok, I want to be generous tonight!" "But now we've got to advise Milena without alarming the American." "You, come with me." "Go." "Milena, the subject is full of dough." " I know, I can feel it." "Bring him to the 'Romeo and Juliet' pension, complete service." " Complete?" "You want a new oven, don't you?" "Do as I tell you." "Maybe we can get a TV set as well." "Good night!" " Good night." "Waiter!" "Waiter!" "Can't you see the white..." " For the bill!" "Certainly!" "Good news!" "The g.." "I is alr...y ... move." "The girl is already on the move." "I know, he already told me." " They're leaving." "Here it is." "This pays for the cigarette case!" "Madam, we have arrived." " One moment, I have to thaw first!" "Madam, what's the matter?" " I'm ankylosed." " You feel bad?" "No, no..." " Wait, I'll help you." " I'm all stiff!" "Just a moment." "Oh God, I'm falling!" "Lady!" "What's the matter?" "Come, I'll help you." "Careful." "It's the cold." " I can see." "Come on, come on!" "My dear boy..." "Do you feel better?" "I'm still cold, just a moment." "But please don't hit me again." "Don't worry, I wont." " Please don't!" "See?" "You feel better?" "Help me take the newspapers off." "How do you feel... better?" "Thank you so much, you are very kind." "Hurrah for life!" "What car have you got?" " A little station wagon." "But it runs!" "This way." "Tortorella!" "And how did she do?" "Didn't find the Trevi fountain." "Look who it is!" "Hey!" "Are we going to winter here?" "Can you see Tortorella?" "No, I can see the American car leaving!" "Move, quick!" "That bastard!" "." "Where did he go?" " What happened?" " What do I know?" "Some crazy woman showed up, he hugged her, threw her in the car and they left." "A blonde wearing fox?" " Yes." "Who the hell is it?" " I know who!" "Hurry, let's go." "Where did they go?" "What do I know?" " Put your foot down!" "Slow down!" "I said slow down!" "At least close the windows." "I'm afraid we lost him for good!" "Goodbye oven!" " I'm afraid so." " Where could they be?" "Go straight then turn left." " Why?" "Listen to me, turn left." " Got an idea?" " I want to go home!" "I want to go to sleep." " You stay here!" "And you, drive!" "Straight!" "Oh God, he's gone crazy!" "He's gone crazy!" "What?" " Bathe!" "What bath?" "You've gone crazy?" "All Americans bathe in the fountain." " He saw it at the movies!" "No, mister, it's not true." "A bunch of lies." "You mustn't believe it!" "If you get wet, you get cold and you'll get a stroke." "Stroke...infarct...heart attack." "Whoever sent him?" " Warm!" "Warm what?" "!" "All I needed tonight was a drunk American!" "What good luck?" "This is not the Ganges!" "Damn the movies!" "Lady!" " Who is it?" "Lello!" "Finally!" "Lady, do you know that we've been chasing you for a half hour?" "We saw you in EUR, and then you vanished." "We caught the wrong subway." " I know!" "But I see you are in good company now." "God forbid!" "He's a drunk American, and wants to bathe in the fountain." "Wants to bathe!" "Go on!" " I'll take care of it." "Let him do, lady!" "It's alright!" "Foreigners are used to it." " Let's go away." " Do not worry." "Must take off the jacket, first!" " Jacket?" "Jacket, got it?" " That's right!" "Wet jacket no good!" "Ahh, the old man with the tails!" "You, me, dive in." "You gotta be nuts!" "Bathe, nude!" "What nude!" "If you get undressed, he will too." " You're out of your mind!" "Take it off!" " Hands off!" "Guys, let's not exaggerate." "We're not abroad here!" "The Pope lives here, so let's be decent." " It's only a game, lady!" "What game!" "He doesn't even bathe at home!" "He'll die for sure!" "Orangutan, keep your hands off!" " What the...?" "I do it." " This one is dead drunk, I'm leaving!" "Listen, you!" "I said take off your jacket!" "I don't give a damn, understand?" "OK!" "Naked, naked, naked, all naked!" " Help, let go!" "I'll call the cops!" "The vice squad!" "Yes, him naked too, don't worry." "Pants!" " Not the pants!" "Pants!" " Don't touch my pants!" "But you take off your jacket." " No, no, no!" "No, first he takes off the pants." "No, I won't take my pants off." "I never got undressed!" "Hold it, there!" "Is he crazy?" "!" "Well?" "What are you doing?" " What the hell do you want?" "Ego sum..." "American citizen!" "Well, OK, OK!" "Put on your pants now!" "He's resisting us!" "Let's get him to the station where he can sober up." "Move!" "So then?" "Are you happy now?" " Not again!" "You ruined my evening!" "So tell me, are you happy now?" " Me?" " Yes!" "You and that nitwit." "That's why they call you "accident"." "Oh, that's how they call me?" " Yes!" "You bring bad luck." "Yes, I bring bad luck!" "I'm unlucky!" "Where I walk, not a blade of grass grows!" "You know who I am?" "I'm like Attila!" "So, stay away from me!" "I'll swollen you!" " Let go!" "I'll kill you!" "Young men!" "Why are are you arguing?" "Why did you run off?" "I fixed everything." "Keep calm and don't worry." "I understood he was a dangerous fool." "So I called the cops." "So, it was You?" " Sure!" " It's a joke, she didn't call anyone." "Of course I did!" "The police station is near here." "But forget about it, it's still early." "What do we do, Lello?" "Tortorella, take the night bus and go home!" "Umberto, go away, you bored me!" "So, what we're up to?" "What?" "I'll show you now!" "I'm on fire!" "Criminals!" "Delinquents!" "Is this the time to launch missiles?" "!" "Behind!" "Take a look behind!" "Oh God, what is it?" "They nearly killed me!" " It's nothing!" " Look there!" "Who lives up there?" " What do I know?" " It's crazy." "What a shock, Lello." " I got an idea." "Yeah, bust their faces!" " I have an idea!" "It's like winning the lottery." " What lottery?" "Come on!" "Listen, come here..." "My God!" "My ear drum!" "Article 117, third-party damage." "." "My ear drum!" " The ear drum!" "Burnt fur, injured ear drum." "Severe damages!" "I want your names, to give to my lawful lawyer, and have him settle the matter." "We'd keep the fur burned in order to ascertain damage to us." "Terribly sorry." "We'd better see injuries and damages immediately." "Hey!" "They believe it!" "I think they won't shell a penny!" " So!" "Lady injured?" " I can't hear, you know?" "Have you heard?" "The lady can't hear!" "So shock and damage." " You mind, Professor?" "Forgive me, dear." "I understand your reaction but keep calm." " Even a headache!" "I think the blow just deafened her temporarily." "Right dear?" " Yes dear!" "All she needs is a drink to feel better, and the gentlemen will certainly be happy to offer a cognac and their apologies." "Don't listen to him, do as I say." "Stop with this farce, we cannot risk that they realize." "Alright." "So, Professor, if you will escort your wife into my house..." "My wife?" " I'm not his wife." "No, she's my wife." "Kommen Sie, bitte!" "Thank you!" "Listen, what's on your mind?" "Be quiet, and thank me for saving you from the question of damages." "It was a good idea." "Let's go away." " You crazy?" "You go!" "I've been telling you all night." "With your wretched ideas we did a sorry figure!" " You're quite right!" "You're a mummer!" "A mummer." "For once that we can do the lords!" "Look what a lovely crowd it is." "And what a rich house!" "Come here please." "Something happened." "But nothing serious." "We invited these people." "She's got a crown, must be a former queen." "There's lots of them, around." "Do come in, please." "I hope you didn't hurt yourself, madam." "This is my wife." "These are our new guests." "Please, will you come in?" "Would you like something to drink?" "And you?" "Champagne for the gentleman." " Yes sir." "You must tell me something now." "Why did you say I'm your wife?" "There's a slight age difference." "I could be your older sister." "But which sister?" "Let's not say nonsense." "I don't get." "Isn't it clear enough?" "In revenge for the bad fireworks, would you like to fire all the flares?" "Who's this?" "What?" "Oh, yes!" "You let me light them all, though, huh?" "Well!" "Put my purse somewhere, they won't steal it here." "I don't think there's any thief!" "Thank you." "It isn't dangerous, huh?" "For the love of God!" "You know..." "I already fell for it once... and if it blows up in my hand...!" "Oh, how beautiful!" "Listen, you,.." "you came into this house using as shield a lady who is an esteemed friend of mine." "Be careful, huh?" "And remember, these are Germans." "I know how terrible the Nazis can be." "Aw, Umberto!" "Say..." "I'll report you!" "All I have to do is tell Tortorella one word, and..." "What will our friends say, knowing we didn't steal anything in this house?" "Who cares?" "You know what?" "You're a fucking bastard" "You take advantage of the fact that I can't do it alone." "Yes, I'm taking advantage of it!" "I had a stage name, Tortorella." "Yes." "But then I left the theater for the cinema." "Now cinema takes up all of my time, so... so!" "Last year I worked in a very nice film, indeed it's a film you should know, stuff of your country." "I remember they were all tall, like you, long..." "Siegfried!" "Very beautiful." "Tonight I quit at 20:00." "Just the time to remove make-up, put on a dress and go." "He should be in movies, yes." "In fact, I'll talk to the director of my film," "I think he's got a face... a face that goes through the screen." "Why are you laughing?" "Silly!" "I agree with your idea, gentlemen!" "To an actor, great school is "tiater"..." "theater, not the street." "No, no." "I was on stage at 14 as assistant to a great comedian." "Then I went on to be a great star for all my life." "Do you know that theatre play" ""The wagon-lit controller"?" ""The sleep car controller"?" "Umberto, dear, you think these people are interested in that stuff?" "Pardon, Fräulein" " This is vaudeville stuff, forget it!" "What a lovely house." "So many lights!" "I feel like I'm in the Vatican." "Really!" "I feel also..." "I feel also... a strange emotion, madam, because it reminds me of when I saw the Pope." "If you would like to look around, be my guest!" " May we?" " Yes." " Thank you." "Thank you so much." "Thank you." "Shall we go?" "Thank you so much." "Umberto, it's necessary that you go a tad away, now." "Again?" "Do you like classical music?" "You know what I like." "Naughty boy!" "I'm afraid that all this champagne on an empty stomach makes me dizzy." "I've drank almost nothing, but me too..." "I feel dizzy." "And he insists!" "Look, I've understood you." "All the better." "Who would ever imagine... to begin the year with a husband... in a house filled with princes!" "Mamma mia!" "What a good idea that you had to be invited." "Look." "You know that a trifle like this is worth a nice bunch of 10,000 bills?" "Oh sure, at least." "Look at all this stuff!" "The paintings!" "The stuff!" "Look at this, Lello!" "No, it's too cumbersome." "There it is, my true passion!" "Small stuff, and beautiful." "How I understand you!" "I too like it so much, you know." "Just because it is useless." "After all, the true lord stands out for this:" "his passion for useless things." "You know you're not stupid, after all?" "I want to tell you something else." "Hey, what are you doing?" "You're going too fast!" "Young man, keep your cool, huh?" "I'm not one of those who deludes herself." "What kind of talk is that?" "I like you." "And you too don't dislike me!" "It's New Year's!" "Come to my house, huh?" "We'll get drunk, and tomorrow you'll tell me how you feel." "Cool!" "And why?" "Because I like you." "Isn't enough?" "I'll write it, huh?" "I..." "like you.." "very.." "much." "Lello!" "Let's go dance, huh?" "Kaputt?" "But, you been in Italy during war?" " No!" " No?" "And all the men who are in this house?" "No, not made war in Italy!" " No?" "And where did they make it?" "Not made!" " Not made, huh?" "But, you tell me who the hell fought it, this damn war?" "Why?" "Where are you taking me?" " Where it's quieter, I must talk to you." "Here." "I must ask you something." "It's been bothering me all night." "But I warn you, don't answer right away, because I can guess your answer, and it would make me suffer." "Well then?" "First, I'll get some champagne." "Meanwhile you think about it." "So when I'm back, you give me your answer." "And if you say yes, we'll toast to your answer." "Okay?" "What can this question possibly be?" "Will you come to bed with me?" "I mean, young man!" "You're a little too fast, no?" "Young man!" "Where will we end up like this?" "!" "Come on, go ahead, idiot!" "Go ahead!" "Bitter!" "What is down there, on that side?" "The toilet." " The toilet?" "Ugly..." " What do you want?" "Let me go!" "Let me go!" " Where do you want to go?" "What...?" " What do you want to do?" "Let go!" "Jerk!" "Rascal, scoundrel!" "Want to send us all to jail?" "What's with you?" "You should help me." "I'll report you!" " So you'll be involved too!" " Then lay off!" "If you don't stop I'll break your head!" "I'm not kidding, got it?" "Go on." " No!" "Come on." " No!" "Don't push me!" "Now you even pass me off as an hermaphrodite!" "You know what?" "Do what you want, but after I'm gone with the lady, who honors me with her friendship, got it?" "Leave the lady alone and go away." "Champagne madam?" " Yes thanks." "Thank you so much." "Let's get out immediately." "Come on, now!" "But where?" "Where's Lello?" "You don't know him, you never did." "He's a hoodlum." "Jealousy is an ugly thing." "I've known you for over 20 years...." "Every time I liked someone, there he is, the same story." "Capecchi was schizophrenic," "Di Pietro was gay, Servadio, a blackmailer, tell me what is this one." "This one is worse than the others!" "And if I may..." "I'd tell you that he could be your..." " My son!" "Boor!" "I'll throw this in your face!" "You're rude!" "Rude, rude!" "Then I'll tell you, even if he's younger than me, I don't care!" "I don't have to marry him!" "And besides, I like his looks..." "his physical." "Yeah?" "You like him?" " Yes!" "A matter of skin!" "He's better than you, isn't he?" "In that case, come to the toilet with me, I'll show you something." "Look, calm down, or I'll slap you in front of everyone and spoil the evening!" "What's on your mind, pig?" " What did you think?" "It's a matter of life and death!" " What?" " Come, I'll show you." "Not to the toilet with you!" " Come on!" " Don't overdo!" "Where is Lello?" "I only know where he's from and where he will end up." "In jail!" "He's a professional thief, I tell you!" "Why are you with him, then?" "You're the one who introduced him to me." "I didn't want to." "But you were alone, I was broke." " Oh look!" "I'll show you he's a thief and hides the loot in the bathroom." "But you say!" " I hope they don't catch us or they'll believe that it was us!" "Ascertain!" "Ascertain!" "Have you ascertained?" "Yes, I have." "Oh God!" " It's over between us now." "I swear, it was there before!" "I'm through with you!" " Where could he hide it?" "Do me a favor, go see a doctor!" " That rascal!" "In what a situation you put me!" " Yeah?" "If you knew my situation earlier!" " Umbe', you're through with me!" "Go away, disappear!" "I don't want to see you again." "You've done..." "You've done everything possible to ruin an evening that was a dream for me!" "But you didn't succeed!" "I'll keep on having fun with him, because I like him." "You know what?" "I'll tell him, so he'll break your face, and it's over with." "There he is!" " Lello, listen." "Lello, come." "You know what he says about you?" "That you're a thief and a delinquent." " True!" "He's a thief and a delinquent." "Where did you hide the loot?" "What's he saying?" " He's crazy, don't heed." "Anyway, I told him that, even if you're a thief, I couldn't care less." "Indeed, as for your previous question, it's fine with me." "We agree, huh?" "If you want, we'll tell you on what we've agreed." "I know:" "jail for both of you, without parole!" "Oh, what a character!" "If he doesn't spoil the fun, he's not happy, the wretch!" "Here's where he hid the stuff." "I knew it!" "Leave it alone, do you want to ruin me?" "Bastard!" "I'll smash it on your face!" " Have you seen?" "Are you convinced now?" "Franz, Johann, come here!" "Franz!" "Johann!" "Put them against the wall and do not let them escape!" "Quick!" " Yes, sir." "Come with me!" " What's happening?" "Quick!" "Up against the wall!" "His Excellency wants to begin the new year with a generous gesture, that I don't approve of." "Arms up!" "Please!" "Nothing." "Raus!" "Raus!" "Schnell!" "Bastard!" "I'll kill you!" "Throw it!" "Why don't you throw it?" "You are even capable of hitting a woman." "Throw it." "I may be a wretch, but I'd never happened to be thrown out like this." "Tortorella!" " Leave me alone!" "You know what's new?" "If the Germans didn't go, I'll go to the police myself!" "Because it does not end here!" " Go ahead!" "Who's keeping you?" "Tortorella, I wouldn't do it." "Go ahead and steal, if you want." "But why act like that with me?" "Why play with my...things...my feelings?" "Why are you such a scoundrel?" "!" " Listen," "I was being serious when I said it." "And I say it again!" "But your friend should've told you I was a thief." "Because I am a thief, and I'm not ashamed!" "You're even proud?" "!" "It's better than him, who lives on accidents and insurance claims!" "At least I take my risks." "When I was 10, I was already stealing their materials to the Allies." "That's it!" "That's how it is!" "I was the only one who had a job in my family." " Nice job!" "Was I supposed to starve to death like my father, a wretch like him?" "I started as a child and I'll keep on stealing!" "I don't want to end up like him!" "Like your father?" " Like you!" "Why are some people born rich and others so poor?" "Whose fault is it?" " You could've found a job." " Oh, sure!" ""Get a shovel"!" "You old people always say the same thing!" "But who are you?" "You are neither a thief nor a respectable person." "Well, I'm not like you and I salute you!" "What's with you?" " It's that he's right!" "It's that it's true!" "It's our fault too, it's your generation's fault, of people like you, if so many young people are failures." "You never thought about that huh?" "Poor soul!" "Are you defending him now?" " Umberto, leave me alone!" "I understand him, I justify him." "He's a delinquent." " Yes, he's a delinquent!" "And what are you?" "Tell me!" "With all the tricks you do with the insurances." "Not so loud." " Didn't we want to trick those Germans?" "Didn't we?" "But we don't have the courage to be criminals, he at least has it, by God!" "He's a rebel, he!" "Tortorella, let's call things by their names!" "He's a purse-snatcher, a chicken thief." "That's what he is!" "You like him, that's why you talk so." " No, what I'm saying is only too true!" "He wasn't born delinquent." "They made him such!" "How can you not understand, Umberto, that, if so many young people have failed, it's society's fault because it's rotten." "It's rotten!" " Oh yeah?" "One shouldn't abandon them." "A simple gesture, a kind word can save one of them!" "And you'd like to save him huh?" " You don't read the papers, Umberto." "I do." " You don't." "Otherwide you'd know all the scandals, all the swindles and all the frauds that are around!" "The oi... oi... the oil swindles." " Garlic and oil." "Lucky you who don't understand anything!" " No!" "I understand too much!" "I see that he's enchanted you." "No way." "I think he was sincere." "He'd be different if he'd been luckier." "It's starting to rain." " Trust me..." "Hey, it's raining!" "Let's go in the church." " Run!" "At least you'll end the year well!" "So you can pray for all your sins!" "Umberto." " What?" "Lello!" "I did say he was a good guy." "Evidently, he had a bit of remorse." "Remorse, him?" "!" "Then why did he come to church?" "He came by himself, not dragged like you." "Wait for me here and don't move." " Who's budging?" "I wasn't expecting this." "You in a church." "So?" "Why, are you ashamed?" "Moreover,.." "we're Roman Catholic too." "Maybe begin the year like this, brings good luck." "Sure, of course." "But if you want to talk let's go outside." "Where are you taking me?" "To rob a bank?" "Oh I'm sorry..." "I'm not saying that you do well to steal, but..." "Look Tortorella, never mind." "Believe me, it's better for you." "I'm sure of one thing:" "that you're not a rascal." "Maybe, you're going through a difficult period." "Isn't it so?" " Yes, indeed." "If I could help you, I'd gladly do so, believe me." "See, I was promised a job next week." "And, if..." "God, Lello!" "What have you done?" "Be quiet." "Please, shut up!" " You have stolen from the Madonna?" "Let me go." "Get away!" " You can't steal from the Madonna!" "What do you have in your pocket?" "Put back what you took, Lello!" "I won't let you out of here." "Oh yeah?" "Here, then!" "What is it?" " What happened?" "Stealing our Lady's necklace!" " Oh my God!" " God!" "They've stolen the necklace from the Madonna!" "Stop thief!" "Help!" "They've stolen the Madonna's necklace!" "Close the doors!" "Thief!" "Close the doors!" "Miracle!" "Miracle!" "Miracle!" "Miracle!" "Our Lady made me a miracle!" "But what miracle!" " It was her!" " You shameless!" "I really saw her." "She came down and put it on me." "She was with a young man!" " I saw her, she was so beautiful!" "She is the thief!" " It's a trick!" "Let me through." "It's not true!" "It's not true!" "I saw it!" "I am a witness!" "It was like a great light, a beautiful heavenly figure appeared, wrapped in a puff of cloud." "Miracle!" "I saw her!" "He's the young man who was with her!" " What young man!" "I've got white hair!" "Leave me, this is abuse!" "I will recourse to the Holy Father!" "Umberto!" "Hurry!" " Run, come on!" "Hey, look!" "You lecher!" "Quiet, kids, quiet!" "Put down the watermelon!" "You want to ruin me?" "Hands off!" "Go away!" "Hey, look at that madwoman!" " Away, kids, go!" "Tortorella!" " Umberto." " I heard from the lawyer and I came." "Well." " But how...?" "But what?" " Nothing, I was just saying..." "Listen..." " Get away, there!" "Remember the free gift at the traders' party?" "Here, I bought it for you, with a discount." "Guess what it is?" "An umbrella." "Even for men, come to that." " Well, it's polyvalent." "Couldn't you get something else?" " There was only this, a thermos, and a polo bat." "I came also to tell you that I got myself a job at Cinecitta." "A mythological film." "I've been working at it since days." "I'm a Trireme's slave." "Yes!" "I would have liked to work with you again." "How handsome you will be!" "Maybe Umberto, who knows..." "My commitments..." "I know they've sought me..." "Lots of phonecalls at home." "It's so hot I can't stand it!" "Why did you dress like that?" "Why?" "What day is today?" " August 15th, right?" "Says who?" "It's January 1st." "The year begins today for me." "Yes!" "This is how I went in, and this is how I go out!" "Damn them!" "Look, they let it be moth-eaten!" "Who cares!" " What are you doing?" "!" " Go on, fly!" "Can buy a new one." "I'll buy a new one!" "I can sense that things are going well." "Look at those boys in the boat." "See those bodies?" "Well, I'd say, they're the ones who should be on a Trireme, not you." "Come on." "Walk." "Walk, slave!" "Let's go!" "New year, new life!" "Damn, how hot it is!" " Yes, you're right." "Down with misery!" "Taxi!" " Taxi!" "Taxi driver!" " Taxi!" "Shall we?" " Let's spend!" "Yes!" " Let's use our last reserves!" "Please lady, sit down." " Oh, thank you!" " This way." "Here you are." "I'm coming." "So, you're the usual beggar!" "If you don't have any money, why say "Down..." ""Down with misery"?" "I thought you had some." " Me!" "I made a significant expenditure for the umbrella." "I'll beat you on the head with it!" "Open it, at least we'll protect ourselves from the sun." "Damn it, Umberto!" "Original English subs by zoneyoutwonk, knappen  edam17 @ KG" "Thorough revision by edam17 @ KG September 2012"