"£ Theme music" "We've got Nath's farewell party this weekend." "How's that, is that straight?" "Yep." "Yeah, so The Legends will actually be here in a week's time." "You know the stereo in the lounge room?" "Get that one, rig it up with some mikes and shit." "So, this here's, like, the main chill out area." "So we've got all the chairs and shit around there." "And the stage here." "This is where S.Mouse is going to be performing." "So he can just, sort of, do all this shit up here." "Yeah, yeah." "That will be awesome." "Look how good it looks from here, guys." "We've got the skatie set up for Tim Okasaki." "Done a few modifications and that." "He's so good." "Like, he could flip out there, grind along that... ..that fence or some shit." "This is the surf stadium that me and the boys have set up, some seating." "This is where Blake Oakfield is going to be doing his surf demo." "Me and Nathan worked out this method where you can make waves on the dam." "Oi, Nathan, make waves." "See?" "A bit of a swell there." "Oi, Nath." "You getting excited about the party?" "Excited about your farewell party?" "Yeah?" "See, he's not understanding me so much these days because even if I yell we reckon his hearing's really fucked now, probably about 100% deaf, and that's why he's got to go to deaf school." "Yeah, see, watch this." "NATHAN, IS YOUR HEARING FULLY FUCKED?" "!" "Yeah." "See, there you go." "You don't get much out of him these days." "Poor kid." "Yo, this is your boy S.Mouse here." "Tonight is my big night." "It's my album launch, my showcase." "We've got my new CD cover here." "Yeah, this is The Real Me." "This is my shit." "My album, my music." "Yeah, we got the music industry business suits coming in tonight." "because the king of mother-fucking hip-hop is back!" "Yeah, I'm back tonight." "Yeah, I'm excited." "I mean, I'm a little nervous but I'm excited." "How's that look?" "I look good?" "I've got my trademark dance move that I'm going to be premiering tonight." "I'm gonna show you that move so you know when I do that." "It's this." "It starts at the front, then you go..." "That's that shit there." "That is gonna be bigger than Michael Jackson doing the moon walk, you know what I'm saying?" "This is the resurrection, the uprising, the return of S.Mouse, exclamation mark!" "Yeah!" "Yeah, yeah!" "Oh, my God, you look so amazing from up here!" "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, you wanna all see the real me?" "You want to meet the real me, yeah, yeah?" "Play that shit, please." "£ You thought you knew me" "£ You didn't know me" "£ You thought I was for your kids" "£ Well, fuck your kids... £" "Yeah, yeah, tonight I'm going to be launching some of my new iconic fashion styles, you know what I'm saying." "I've got a lot of changes throughout the show." "You know, you got to mix it up for the fans." "£ Yeah, yeah" "£ Dick out my shoulder" "£ Get your dick out my shoulder" "£ She said go to bed and get your dick out my shoulder... £" "Tim, come and talk to me." "It's been a very terrible week." "Tim..." "Since Tim started seeing his girlfriend, he barely talk to me." "Little shit." "He spend all his time with her, leaving a shit hot mess for me to clean up." "If you go to her house again I'll throw your laptop off the roof." "The news that Tim is not gay is all over the media." "It's gone worldwide." "I've never been more stressed out in my life." "My hair is falling out from the stress." "That's never happened to me before." "That's how fucking stressed I am." "Jen..." "No, I do not want to speak to them." "Deal with it yourself." "The $6 million Oshikura campaign - cancelled." "Shut the fuck up and deal with it yourself." "No-one wants to be associated with Tim, because he is a liar." "Don't look at me." "But..." "Shut up." "Gaystar merchandise is in crisis." "What a waste." "We're going to lose a lot of money over this." "All because of Tim and this girl." "(Car horn)" "Hey, stupid slut." "TIM:" "See you tomorrow." "Tim, don't touch her." "Come here!" "Whatever." "She's crazy, don't worry." "That's for you, slut." "Slut!" "(Spits)" "That's for you." "What the hell, Mum!" "Go home." "You're insane." "£ You held my ball like you was holding a dove" "£ Because you was in the... £ Black balls" "£ I've got big black" "£ Big black balls" "£ You know it's true, my fuckers" "£ Yeah, yeah. £" "You know what, I'm sensing the energy levels are a little bit low in the room, yeah." "I'm going to get everyone on this side of the room to say, 'Yeah.'" "Say yeah!" "Yeah." "I can't hear you." "MAN:" "Slap your elbows, arsehole." "You say what?" "I said, slap your elbows, arsehole." "We got some haters in the room." "I'm sensing some hate in the room." "Play that song there, play it." "Who wants a three-legged dog?" "Yeah, yeah?" "Do you want it?" "Yeah?" "£ Three-legged dog I want a three-legged dog" "£ I want a three-legged dog" "£ I really, really, really, really, really... £" "I think when you perform you've got to give it everything." "That shit was off the hook good!" "Whoo!" "You can't hold back, you know." "You've got to..." "You've got to shine." "You've got to... you've got to sell your shit, you know what I'm saying." "Some of them niggers was rocking out to my new shit, I noticed." "Genius is a little scary at first, you know what I'm saying." "It frightens people at first." "Right?" "I guess, yeah." "I don't know about the ski boot, though, man." "Yeah, yeah." "Whoo!" "I am pooped, yeah." "It's the first show." "You can put in 150% effort, you can love your job, you can go above and beyond, but there comes a time when your best efforts are not good enough." "And that's when you've just got to pull up your socks, wipe your tears and move on." "Let someone else have a go." "Nothing lasts forever." "Well, I guess it should come as no surprise." "I'm going to have to let you go." "Yes, I thought that's where we were headed." "I had to put the welfare of the boys first, you understand that?" "I understand." "I wanted you to know that I knew about the Alzheimer's." "Well." "It wasn't just that Penny told me." "I could see the signs." "Penny shouldn't have told you that, that's... that's..." "She shouldn't have told you." "Come on, she loves you." "It's just not fair this has happened." "Oh, it is fair." "Got to let some young blood in." "I guess that's true." "So, I'll be asked to move out of the house, then?" "I'm afraid so." "I thought that might be the case." "Oh, well." "Oh, you'll be right." "You'll be OK." "So, I'm going." "25 years, not a bad innings." "Not bad at all for an old bitch like me." "It's not fair." "Yes, it is, it is fair." "We all have to move on." "Nathan, this means 'thank you'." "Can you do that?" "Thank you." "Well done, mate." "Good." "Nath, do your ones." "He's doing lesbian." "Mum, I'm a lesbian." "You certainly are." "Look, look." "He's saying, 'dick'." "Be sensible, guys." "Oh, there's a deaf man in the house." "Daniel, don't tease him." "He looks lovely in his uniform." "Look, we can do lesbian." "Oh, is this sign language?" "Is that lesbian?" "And dick." "What's dick?" "Is that dick?" "Yeah." "Fuck, man." "Don't be silly, guys." "Can you do, um..." "can you do 'fuck face'?" "It's not even a real word." "Daniel!" "I can do 'dickhead' but." "Show us." "Dick head." "That's awesome." "I've got one." "Look." "How are you?" "Oh, good one, Steve." "Yeah, good one." "Oi, went into town, got some presents for The Legends for the party." "Five buck limit, so we got this for S.Mouse." "Dunt ruler, Dunt pen." "Um, that's for Blake Oakfield." "Movie." "Chick surfing movie." "And, um, Tim Okasaki, two minute noodles oriental style and some chopsticks." "Just in case he might not eat the food that we eat." "Daniel, do you seriously think they're going to come to this party?" "Yeah, I know they're coming because Gran said they are." "They're definitely coming." "Yeah, we've got two RSVPs already." "And S.Mouse, we sent him that message about the squashed Abo kid, so... ..he would've got that by now." "What?" "Don't worry, just a message." "Well, don't get your hopes up." "It'll be a great party with just us." "Why would Gran say they're coming if they're not coming?" "They're definitely coming." "Well, Gran says some pretty strange things sometimes." "Mate, no-one's coming, they're not coming." "If three Hollywood celebrities come to Dunt this Saturday night," "I will buy you a car, Daniel." "Well, you'll be buying me a car because they will be coming, so..." "Get your chequebook out, Stevie." "Believe what you believe, Steve." "I believe they're coming, you don't." "What do you want to do about it, you know?" "Dream away, mate, dream away." "I'm not dreaming, I know the reality, and the reality is that Gran said they're coming, so they're coming." "So, whatever, that's the end of story, not saying anything else." "You come out here, Nath, get out of your uniform." "Come and help us set up for the party." "I dunno, man, maybe my new shit is not that good, and I just don't know it, you know what I'm saying?" "Look, as your best friend, my nigger, I'm telling you right now, your shit is good, dawg." "Maybe you kiss my ass too much, nigger." "OK." "I'm just thinking, maybe the real me isn't the real, real me, you know what I'm saying?" "I'm not writing from the heart, I'm writing from my head, you know?" "I'm thinking too much about shit." "Well, change it up then, dawg." "Yeah, well, I don't know how to do that so easy." "I just..." "I feel like I got to get in touch with my emotions, you know what I'm saying?" "Your mama wants to know when you gonna get the hell out of our house and go on back to your own house?" "Chill, mother-fucker, I'm having a crisis here." "And I'm your son." "I can stay here as long as I like." "OK, I'll pass that on to your mama." "Where's that message that we got last week?" "You know, with that little Aborigine kid, the one that got squashed by the truck?" "That's the last time I really felt something." "I really felt moved by some shit." "That kid that died, huh?" "Mother-fucker." "That's a waste, man, that kid getting squashed is a fucking waste." "Yeah." "That's my... that's how I feel, you know what I'm saying?" "I feel squashed." "I feel squashed by the music industry," "I feel squashed by the haters, you know what I'm saying?" "This is shit that's making me feel stuff, you know?" "I could write that shit into a song, you know what I'm saying?" "You see where I'm going with that?" "Oh, hell, yeah, dawg." "Junior." "Your mama said to take your ass back home by the end of the week." "You shut the fuck up, please." "I'm trying to work shit out here." "Boy, we've got a sex life that you're ruining by being here, you know what I'm saying?" "Can you shut up, please, mother-fuck?" "Look, you've been here for three months, boy!" "Yeah, I know." "Shit, your mama's getting horny." "She won't fuck with you in the house." "Shut up, please, please." "Now, where's my dyslexic glasses at?" "I'm gonna get this shit down." "Hey, Tim, Tim." "This might explain where she is." "You know, she left this note in the office." "Fuck you, Tim." "Fuck you all." "I'm off to kill myself and the dog." "Unless you dump your girlfriend and tell the world you are gay, the dog and me are dead." "Mom." "Where do you think she went?" "I have a few ideas, OK?" "I always run away when I get upset about something." "This is not the first time I done it." "I find it's quite a good method to get your point across." "Ah, yes, everyone starts to freak out when you're not around and they don't know where you are." "And I just sent my text message through to Tim." "Two hours till the dog gets it." "So, we'll see what happens." "Thank you." "Sit still, please." "Do you see her?" "Come on, Mom, let's go." "Let's go home." "How did you find me?" "It is where you came last time when you run away." "I'm not coming home." "Don't be stupid." "You're the stupid one." "Come on, let's go home, Mom." "No." "I have something to tell you too." "The only thing I want you to tell me is that you're gay and you're not straight." "Until you say that, I'm not coming home." "Come on, Mom, let's go." "No, no." "I have to tell you something." "Get off me." "Come on, Jen." "Let's go home." "That's good." "Come." "You better have something good to tell me." "It will be." "Take the dog." "It's yours anyway." "Now, I've got Penny keeping an eye on you while I'm gone to make sure that you're behaving yourself, so I'll get the full report." "Oh, is that for me, is it?" "Oh, thank you, Taylor." "What have we got here?" "Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?" "It's a key ring, is it?" "Did you make that in craft, did you?" "Thank you, sweetheart." "That's very thoughtful." "Now, I want you to try harder with your talking, OK, because I know you've got it in you." "I've got a young grandson your age who wishes he could talk, but he can't because he's deaf." "I'm no psychiatrist, but I want you to promise me that you'll give talking a go, because I think it'll help." "Alright?" "Yes?" "(Mumbles) OK." "Can't hear you." "(Louder) OK." "Is that all I get, is it?" "Where's my, 'See you later, Gran." "Thanks for everything.'" "How about just, 'Piss off, bitch'?" "Piss off, bitch." "Cheeky little bastard." "I'm going to miss you, you little dickhead." "Alright." "I'll take that, and I'll see you later." "Alright." "Man, what the fuck is he doing?" "He's had an epiphany." "A what?" "He's writing about real emotion." "Some nigger got squashed in Australia." "Whatever." "Nigger." "What rhymes with nigger?" "Bigger." "Hey, mother-fucker, get out of the way." "I want to try some shit here." "It's the chorus, right, it's the hook." "Here we go." "£ Squashed nigger, squashed nigger £" "Here we go." "£ I feel like a squashed nigger... £" "You like that shit?" "That shit is tight, but you know that ain't rapping, right?" "Don't tell me you're gonna try and sing this shit, homey?" "I'm gonna try and sing this shit." "Don't you laugh, mother-fuck." "I'm gonna try and sing!" "I ain't laughing, I ain't laughing." "I'm just saying, I'm gonna sing this." "You're the one that said singing was for homosexuals, right?" "You said that shit." "Shut the fuck up." "Yeah." "You've gotta work out the verses here." "Take the dog." "Right." "Get off me, get it off me." "Take it." "(Sighs) Oh, let's control this one." "OK, what?" "Go." "Talk." "I want to get back to skateboarding." "I want to re-establish myself back in America, and I want to do it on my own." "Fat chance, you're a child!" "Don't be stupid." "Well, I've got some legal advice for you." "They said that I can cut you off whenever I want, and they said that all that money is mine because I'm the reason we've made so much." "My image, my skating." "So, yeah, I'm going to start doing this on my own from now on, Mom." "(Sobs)" "I did try to be a good mother." "I'm so sorry, Tim." "I want to do the best for you." "I love you, Tim." "I'm a Japanese lady and sometimes it's hard to stand up for myself." "I just try to be strong for you." "Please don't dump me, Tim." "Without you I have nothing." "Mom, I appreciate everything you did for me, and I'm not a child anymore and so..." "You can still be my mom." "It's just..." "I want to start looking after the business by myself." "No fucking way!" "No fucking way!" "It's in the contract." "I'm your manager, you know that." "You haven't got a leg to stand on." "But, Jen..." "The company is mine." "Gaystar is in my name, not yours." "What you gonna do about that?" "Jenny, sales are dropping and nobody is buying Gaystar product anymore, and Tim now is not gay." "Who cares what you think, dipshit?" "You should really start listening to Bruce, because he's going to be my new manager." "As of tomorrow, I'm firing you." "Well, fuck you hard then, Tim." "Fuck you hard." "You know what, Tim?" "I'm going to start an internet rumour that you fucked me." "That's how non-gay you are." "You had sex with your own mother up the arse!" "Jen, calm down." "Shut up, faggot!" "Sit down." "I didn't drive you to the skate park every fucking morning of my life to be dumped by you." "I'm sick of your shit." "You're going to be hearing from my lawyers if you do this shit." "You're going to pay for that." "Well, I'm not changing my mind." "You're gonna burn." "You're gonna burn, fuck face." "Jenny." "You're going down." "Jen, Jenny, this is your son." "You're going down, that's it." "And turn that shit off." "I did not ask to be in that documentary anyway!" "I did not sign for that!" "This not going on TV." "Hey, Gran." "You off?" "Yes, I'm off." "Alright, sweet." "Catch you." "Alright, see you, mate." "It's nice, isn't it?" "I'm glad there's been no big fuss." "I wouldn't have wanted a bit hoo-ha!" "ALL:" "Surprise!" "Oh, wow-wee!" "Did you do this?" "Oh, my God!" "I can't believe it." "(Boys chant)" "Alright, boys, alright settle down." "Come on, quieten down." "Here you go." "We got you this." "Oh, my God." "What a lovely guinea pig." "Oh, wow!" "We love you, Gran." "Did you organise this?" "Oh, God, I love it." "I love it." "BOYS:" "Speech!" "Speech!" "I'll get you to take that for me." "Thank you, guys, this is really quite embarrassing." "I didn't realise you were going to go to so much trouble." "Well, it's certainly been a fantastic place to work for the last 25 years." "I've very much enjoyed it and putting up with you ratbags has been quite interesting and I hope you've learnt a thing or two." "You've certainly taught me a thing or two." "A few rude words I didn't know before." "But, ah..." "We love you." "We love you, Gran." "I guess my main, my main message is to you young fellas." "I know a lot of you young blokes, you've written yourselves off and you've lost hope" "and people in your lives have told you you're worthless." "You're certainly not worthless." "And, ah, I know all of you guys have it in you to grow up into being wonderful young men." "And when you're out there on the outside, don't be fuckwits, don't hurt others, alright, or you'll end up in the big house and that will be such a waste, OK?" "Love you, Gran." "Thanks, Gran." "Love you, Gran." "And when you blokes see me out there in the big wide world, and you pass me on the street," "I hope you say g'day or I'll be bloody pissed off." "Alright, thanks to everyone who's organised this." "I'll remember it forever." "Hip-hip!" "ALL:" "Hooray!" "(All chant)" "£ Little nigger, it's true" "£ Oh" "£ You got squashed in your room... £" "Singing has always been there, you know what I'm saying?" "It's always been in my stomach, you know." "£ When the truck smashed through his door, brother... £" "This song is a departure for me musically, but, you know, I feel like this is me, this is the real, real, real me." "I'm a mother-fucking singer." "What are you going to do about that?" "£ I feel crushed all the time" "£ Jesus, give me a sign... £" "I thought you said singing was for homosexuals?" "What the fuck." "I say a lot of shit, mother fuck." "That's damn good, man." "You ain't too bad." "I wrote a good song." "You are fucking good." "I wrote a good song." "You wrote a mother-fucking good song." "Fucking hug me, mother-fucker." "I wrote a good song, yeah!" "I wrote a fucking good song." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Is that enough length do you reckon, though, because he can only go to there." "Daniel." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "What?" "I've just been on the phone with Gran." "She wants you to give her a call back on Skype." "Why?" "She's going to come and stay with us for a while, I think." "She's a bit unwell." "Is she going to be here for the party?" "Yeah, she will." "Awesome." "Boys, my gran's going to be here for the party." "Sweet as." "Will you stay for a while, do you reckon?" "Yeah, I'm gonna move down." "Mum tell you I've left the prison?" "Nah." "Why did you leave?" "Oh, I got a bit sick." "What kind of sick?" "I got Alzheimer's." "Do you know what that is?" "Yeah, it's like when you forget shit." "Yes." "That's pretty shit." "So, is that the bad news?" "Well, yeah." "Sorry to hear it." "Um, you seem normal but." "Do you remember my name?" "Yes, Daniel, I do." "Now, listen, mate." "You know how you wanted me to invite those celebrity guests to Nathan's party?" "Yeah, The Legends." "I know it meant a lot to you, but to be honest," "I don't think I..." "I think I may have forgotten to invite them." "I..." "Penny's checked my emails." "It doesn't look like I did invite them." "I forgot." "But you told me they were coming." "Oh, did I say that, did I?" "I'm sorry, mate." "So, they're not coming?" "No, I don't think they are, darling." "It's..." "I just have been saying things lately that don't make a lot of sense and..." "It's the disease, it's the Alzheimer's." "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." "It's cool." "Are you OK but?" "Oh, yeah, I'll be all right." "I'm OK, mate." "Cool." "I had my artificial balls operation." "Looks pretty realistic, don't you reckon?" "Just waiting for that tide to come in, mate." "I've restarted The Fat Boys Surf School." "Yeah, so I've got a ratio of two mad boys to each fat boy." "Mucka-mucka-mucka!" "ALL:" "Oi-oi-oi!" "JENNY:" "Tim has brought us a family home, but let me tell you, this house is shit." "The floor is not for sitting on." "Tim has really fucked me up big time." "The cock cushions, the cock box here where I put my remote." "Being a household mum is shit." "Well, he's out there in the big old world again." "Wind the window down." "Let's see if they recognise me." "Being adored by fans, I don't miss that." "Ain't you got no respect?" "I respect you when you back your car out of my driveway and go home." "Nathan, get out here!" "Nathan, Nathan." "I think the family thought I was going to be much more of an invalid than I actually am." "They Jamie's cargos?" "We're going into town for final farewells." "See you, Nathan." "What the fuck did you do that for?" "Just going to do all the stuff Nath loves." "Hurry up!" "Did you see him surfing?" "Who'd have thought?" "Show the camera." "Closed Captions by CSI"