"§ My name is Chris Rolle, better known as Kazi §" "§ My mother didn't want me, so I flew to the streets §" "§ Stole everything from food to eat §" "§ To the shoes on my feet §" "§ From nothing I rose to leave my mark on this globe §" "§ To give back so that others wouldn't have to go through it §" "§ To use music as the conduit §" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, what up, what up?" "[cheers and applause]" "Thank y'all for coming out." "My name is Chris Rolle." "I'm the director of the Hip Hop Project." "In the music industry nowadays, they focus on the superficial." "We focus on things of substance, issues that affect all of us." "And the music you will hear tonight, trust me, it will inspire you." "So if you ready for the Hip Hop Project," "I want y'all to put your hands together all and make some noise." "Check, check, check." "Is this thing on?" "Can y'all hear me out there?" "Listen." "It's Kharma Kazi and the Hip Hop Project." "This is how we gonna do." "This is roll call." "What we're about to bring to you, is the next generation:" "MCs, poets, singers." "I hope y'all ready." "First up to bat is cannon." " § It's C-A-double N-O-N up in ya neighborhood §" "§ Strollin', holdin' that pen and a pad" "§ Fill in that paper good §" "§ Roaming the city §" "§ Holdin' my giddy-guitar on my back §" "§ Passion for music high §" "§ I'm a monster on a track §" " Just in terms of my life, always moving, living nomadically, you know, that was the norm for me." "Back then, I wasn't really thinking about it." "I was just surviving and just trying to make a way for myself." "Being in the streets," "I always felt like it was something more, and I felt like I was just wasting my life away." "I just want to be an exemplary person." "I think life would be a waste if I didn't make a difference while I was here, 'cause it is hard out here, man." "And especially if you don't have a father or any parents, you need somebody to pass on some information to you and they can leave an impact on your life, so that's just where I'm going right now." " It's time now to meet this week's hometown hero." "He's 24-year-old Chris Rolle." "He grew up as an orphan on the streets of Crown Heights, pretty tough streets." "But he took his love for music to help pull himself and a whole lot of other people out of trouble." " My dream was to create a program where young people could start healing through hip-hop music." "And then they travel all around the country and try to inspire other young people to do the same." "Every day I was rushing to work, you know." "Matter of fact, people have to tell me," ""Yo, 2:00 in the morning, what are you still doing here? "" "Hey, yo, I'm making this curriculum for tomorrow, making phone calls, and making an agenda." "I just had a passion for it." " § If I had to say §" "§ I need a block full of paramedics for no means §" "§ and I know faggots will fuck em' nasty §" "§ And I'd never hit a girl with the right snuffer §" "§ Hey, yo, we got tougher §" "§ Blue gats and box cutters §" "§ You're a cocksucker, I'm a pussy §" "§ Why you labeled as the block deffer §" "§ I leave you in this hot gutter §" "§ See this rap game, nigga §" "§ Pig fell in his shit... §" " When the kids first came in, they thought they were just going to jump into writing this album." "As I heard the stuff that they was writing about, you know," "I was just like, "Y'all not ready."" " When I first went to Hip Hop Project," "I was back doing the, "your mama this, your mama that," you know what I mean, the straight-up hard grisly battles, spitting in your face." "§ I said, ah, you ain't a threat §" "§ Bitch, push me §" "§ Show me your Hartsfield §" "§ And your best friend's a pussy like Odie from Garfield §" "§ On the real §" "§ I ain't come to fight or battle, no §" "§ I'm in this damn park looking like a light show §" "§ Chicks acting real cocky §" "§ But in a minute, they'll slob me in the lobby §" "§ Sliding their necks similar to Bill Cosby §" "§ And while he acting like he die-proof, no, look, §" "§ Metal will travel through your left side like spiral notebooks §" "§ You're like, you have to get rid of me §" "§ When you the biggest bitch on the island §" "§ Like the Statue of Liberty §" "§ I'm laughing, you killin' me §" "§ You ain't got half the ability §" "§ Clack-clack, pow!" "§" "§ We kick it and pop it if you like to §" " I said, yo son, hold up, I said, yo." "§ That last rhyme I heard you spit §" "§ Was as weak as baby shit §" "§ Stuffed with strained peas, raw milk, and runny grits §" "§ You a funny bitch §" "§ I'll snatch you by your hair out your high chair §" "§ Stick a bottle up yo' ass for blowing that hot air §" "§ You say that's not fair §" "§ But you did came rappin' in my domain §" "§ Fuck is wrong with your brain?" "I'm hotter than a propane §" "§ Cookin' all you bald head faggots §" "§ You need a Rogaine §" "§ If people didn't tell you that I was the grimy one §" "§ The love now, hate later, some timey one, the slimy one §" "§ The shit I do is strictly off the record §" " Everybody's talkin' about the same exact thing." "They was killers." "They was gangsters." "They were selling drugs." "It just wasn't what the program was about." "As we begin to grow, more and more people will be coming around, so there got to be some type of code that we live by." "I feel like at the bottom of any religion or any program you're in, they just want you to do certain things a certain way or live by a certain principle." " Before any other process could happen, he had to be on the same page with the young people." "They had to share the same mind." "So he started with basic principles of living." " Integrity, right?" "Well, you know, you just got to keep your word at all times, man." " He pretty much lured us in," ""Yeah, come and make your own album," ""come make your demo, free studio time, free production."" "Cats went in there." "It was the total opposite ofwhat they seen." " It's a frickin' office with computers, you know, two white people sitting at a desk." "That was it." " He wanted to expose young people to the music business." "He also expressed how important it was to elevate the consciousness of these young people and to help them heal." "So hip-hop was just the in." " I discovered the Hip Hop Project." "I had seen a flyer in my school." "Music is something that I've always been fascinated by." "Ever since I was young, I had a passion for music." " What is your name?" "What is your name?" "I had been exposed to hip-hop at, like, a young age." "When I turned 15, I was like, "Yo, you know what?" ""This is something I want to do." "You know what I'm sayin'?" "I know that in my heart."" "Of course I want to be signed, publishing deal, make album after album." "What else would I do with all this fire inside of me?" "Like, where else would I put it?" "My mom's condition is, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1996, and before then, the doctors didn't really know what it was, because, like, she would have all this ailment." "The doctor scheduled her for an MRI, and then I guess that's when they found out that she got MS." "Having it just made her completely, like, suicidal, you know, twice, attempted to just commit suicide." "My writing is what kept me alive, because there was so much rage, so much anger, and it was like I didn't know how to get it out." " What I'm hungry for is just whatever opportunity there is." "As long as I can do what I love and survive and as long as it's around hip-hop" "I love hip-hop, you know what I'm saying?" "Because this is just- it's like an outlet like no other." "I used to just write rhymes in class or whatever." "I wouldn't do no work." "I wouldn't do nothing but write rhymes." "I fucked up in ninth grade, and I had to really redefine who I was and find another path." "My father got incarcerated probably, like, three weeks ago." "He got arrested for drugs or whatever, selling drugs." "And, you know, they raided the house, and how I felt then, it was like they were doing something wrong, not my father, you know what I'm saying?" "He really put his education aside when he was younger." "That left my father illiterate to the point where he barely can write his name." "I won't settle." "I won't settle for what my mother settled for." "I won't settle for what my father settled for." " 34th Street, Penn Station." " § It's like the price of my range §" "§ Only nigga balls entertaining on the A train §" "§ Feel it §" "§ It's NY to Calico §" "§ We don't give a fuck §" "§ Brave niggas let the Cali blow §" "§ You see your head on your front porch §" "§ On your fuckin' patio §" "§ What the fuck you wanted for the ravio §" "§ Nigga named Cann §" "§ From NY, man §" "§ BK Brookdale Hospital where I was born §" "§ But I felt the earth shake §" " cannon was always a wordsmith." "He would rap, but some words," "I wouldn't know what the hell he said." "It's like he'd just find a dictionary and use the biggest words he could find to rhyme or whatever." "But I could tell he had crazy skill, you know, just how he always hitting the beat." "He had mad rhymes, just mad rhymes." " § Lookin' for war §" "§ The nigga that seek you shall find §" "§ You ain't hurt, look at your lungs §" "§ And you weak and you blind §" "§ Y'all niggas is like charcoal waiting for flames §" "§ Get outside of rhyming and I'm taking my name §" "§ Load 20 in the clip §" "§ Keep one on the chain §" " He had a little hard-core, selling crack in Manhattan thing going on, you know." "But that wasn't him, and it was obvious it wasn't him, but he was still trying to find himself." "I could tell he was searching." " § Different stakes §" "§ Became ironic §" "§ Do what y'all niggas predicted §" "§ No, I got you redesigning §" "§ You infatuated §" "§ Besides, they say they always hate our verse §" " Princess, she had some rap." "Oh, man, it was so whack." "[laughs]" "And she would kick that same rhyme everywhere, but never on the beat." " § Lyrically she telling virgins §" "§ Fuck you, said I'll pop your cherry §" "§ You got passion and shit §" "§ Y'all like alcoholics trying to sober... §" " So I had to try to find a way to get them to a point of seeing that they got to rap about something else and really knowing why they should do it." " What we need is more stars, people who are individuals, who will write their songs about whatever is on their mind." "And knowing that people don't have enough of that social or political or uplifting material, because you make another gangster record, or another record about how many cars you're gonna buy, it's boring as fuck, and you all know that's boring." " If you going through stuff in your life, that's what you need to put your music or your art about." "That's what it got to represent." "And that integrity is going to come through in the music." "That's what people connect to." "That's soul music." "Every day you turn on the radio, you got materialism, you got misogyny, you got" " Money, hos, and clothes." " Money, hos, and clothes." "Violence, you know what I'm saying, so I want to challenge y'all to say something a little different, you know, to say something that's going to touch somebody's heart, move them to change their life, inspire them in some way." "So I want you all to think back to a moment in your life that touched, moved, or inspired you and-and share that with us, because when you share a little bit of yourself, you open others to share a little bit of themselves." " Yo, what you want?" "I just want to know if I could stay here just for the night." "Don't go thinking you're going to sleep on a bed or nothing." "Go back, go sleep on a rug or something, 'cause you see them three boys back there?" "Them are my sons." "Them is my sons." "You ain't my son." "§ You know, I think it's a shame §" "§ That you cringe when you think of my name §" "§ And the reasons you get mad I'm thinking is lame §" "§ Sometimes you say you hate me, I be feeling the same §" "§ It never shows, but I be feeling pain §" "§ We don't get along because I'm so much like you §" "§ Move around, hustle, just like you §" "§ My pops wasn't there for me just like you §" "§ I'm so stressed out §" "§ But I'm scared of what the dust might do §" "§ How you think I felt knowing that no one wanted me §" "§ Knowing this man, my father, commonly referred to as no one §" "§ I used to feel no one's pain §" "§ Rain for 40 days and 40 nights §" "§ My life is 80 wrongs and 40 rights §" "§ And still beneath the hope, the single thought you might §" "§ Be a part of your firstborn son's life §" "§ But that was §" "§ That was just a dream, You gave up §" "§ That's what I take §" "§ You know, listen §" "§ You know, listen, Pop §" "§ I'm not holding back my words §" "§ And the thought of consequences §" "§ Got me holding back my verbs §" "§ You got some nerve talking like you walking shit §" "§ But when you try to walk, it's like your talk §" "§ It's sounding awkward §" "§ It's fucked up §" "§ Yeah §" "§ But I stick through it all §" "§ 14 years §" "§ I didn't miss you at all §" "§ So let it harbor in your chest §" "§ Until there's peace in your rest §" "§ Or rest in your peace §" "§ Whichever comes first §" "§ 'Cause I ain't wasting no more words §" " Hip-hop is about drums and bass and tones and power, you know, "rah."" "I remember when Grand Master Flash and Melly Mell and the Furious Five, and Run DMC even, every time they'd end a song, they'd go, "Aa-ahh!"" "You know, because it was about "rah," letting that energy," "let that fire out, you know." "So when you hear the drums and the bass, that just gets you moving, and then I get to, like, say whatever I want, and I can curse if I want to, not that you promoting it, but you just letting me do me." ""Ah!" You know?" "So that's freedom." "It's freedom to just be able to say whatever I want and nobody's gonna stop me." "Nobody's gonna check me." "Nobody's gonna tell me that it's wrong, because there is no right or wrong." "And once I do that and I get all my stuff on the table, then I can just be myself." "Now I feel safe." "Now I feel like you know who I am." "I put my stuff out there." "Now I can keep moving forward." "And hip-hop allows us to do that, allows our young people to do that, because it's the music of our generation." " Now, who are some of your favorite rappers?" "[all shouting at once]" "Who?" "Little John and the- [cheering]" "Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on." "Y'all teaching me something right here." "In New York, when you say Little John, everybody be like, "Who? "" "What? "" "See, that's funny." "That means that there are different regions that respond to different things, right?" "So I don't even know if somebody from New York could really capture something from the South." "So I'm gonna bring a MC up, and let's see if y'all can really feel this New York MC for the people who like people like Little John." "Play a beat, any beat." "Let me see if y'all can feel some New York stuff." "Let's see ifwe can blend it together." "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh." "Come on dance, y'all." "Come on, let's dance." " Come on, where the South at?" "I'm representing the South today, baby." "You see it?" "B-boy down, baby, ATL, a'ight?" "New Orleans, a'ight?" "VA, where you at?" "So they want to see if we can rock like the Southerners, huh?" "They want to see it?" "No doubt, baby." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "§ Yo, you know what's on now §" "§ I'ma change the game in a little while §" "§ I'ma flip and primp, just listen §" "§ My style just different §" "§ And you niggas know I'm the sickest §" "§ So you gonna do, nigga, better move back §" "§ When I act, listen black, better pull back §" "§ I'ma a smack me a chump, tryin' to act tough §" "§ Really got no time for that bullcrap §" "§ Mics are flamin' I'm lanes are changing §" "§ I'm keep a nigga runnin' like he really not brave enough §" "§ Every time I flow I got to know when I'm dangerous §" "§ Ain't no other nigga coming close to brave as this §" "§ See now I'm down, but in the meanwhile §" "§ Freestyle as my niggas see now §" "§ I'ma speed it up now just the way that I heat it up §" "§ Then I'm gonna take an impression on a wonderful rhythm §" "§ How you gonna test me, MVP §" "§ All of these lookin' minor league §" "§ All better flee when I spit that heat §" "§ Now to comp with the verse coming out of my teeth §" "§ Look I'ma take it over into closure §" "§ Got a group of niggas right behind my shoulders §" "§ Waiting to explode like a supernova §" "§ Whack niggas in the game, now I'm moving 'em over §" "Y'all ain't ready for that beat." "Y'all ain't ready for that beat." " If you had the ability to have everybody stop and bob their head and listen to what you had to say, meaning the whole world stops and listens to you, what would you have to say?" "[mellow hip-hop music]" " Y'all walk with me real quick." "Uh." "§ Thinking back to '84 §" "§ When I was a pain in my mother's eye §" "§ From the day of birth, I ripped her insides §" "§ I wasn't planned §" "§ I was an option §" "§ The first she kept but the second conceived §" "§ Wondered if she knew the same would happen to me §" "Mother's Cry, that's basically talking about my ordeal and having to make a decision on whether or not to have a child, which I didn't." "§ I knew my life be different §" "§ As I walked up in the clinic §" "§ Four months pregnant §" "§ The seed growing in my stomach §" "§ I can feel it §" "Just talking about how I felt walking in the clinic, how I felt, you know, just thinking back, like, you know, if my mother sat with me a minute." "The source of my music is basically my life, personal situations that people," "I guess, are scared to touch on, or, you know, to let go." "So for me it's like, you know, freeing myself from, you know, pains inside of me." "I just free myself through my writing and my music." "§ You don't know what it is like §" "§ Attached to your baby §" "§ And you 'bout to take its life §" "§ I wanted to keep it §" "§ But the consequence I couldn't handle... §" " Well, Ma Dukes just passed on Monday." "I was in this classroom when this girl came up and was like," ""Oh, Chris, you got a call."" "I was like, "What is it? "" "She's like, "l don't know if I should be the one telling you this."" "And I was like, "What? "" "He was like, "You know, basically I was in the hospital."" "He's like, "Basically your mother died."" "I never experienced death." "Like, I never been to a funeral before in my whole life." "I regret it;" "I told my moms that Sunday that I was gonna see her." "And I didn't even go nowhere that day." "I didn't even go see her, and she was right down the block." "But I spoke to her on the phone." "She called me, and the aide was," "like, making out everything that she was saying." "She was like, "She misses you." "She wants to see you, and she wants to come home."" "And I always hate it when my moms is in the hospital, always hated that shit." "I'm telling you, that's definitely what keeps me, like, even wanting to do stuff is music." "What I think it is about music is just that it's something that's, like, you know what I'm saying, when you feel like you don't have anything in the world." "It's a sense of ownership." " I'm proud to accomplish, you know, regardless ofwhether it's a high school diploma or getting my GED." "I did it, and I did it on time." "Running late." "When my father left, I didn't know what was next, so I got to build my own future, you know what I'm saying." "And it's just like, I see my father." "He was limited, and I'm not gonna be like that." "I'm not limited in what I can do." " Yo, P." "Hey." " I know." " So how you feelin'?" " Good, good." "Long time comin'." " Oh, congratulations." " Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on." "Going back to Art Start, do this rehearsal." "I try to make every show a rehearsal for something else." "And also just keeping everybody together, keeping cannon busy." " I don't know any program director that expends the level of personal time and attention." "I remember going up to his office at Art Start, and it'd be like 10:00, and he's calling them to see if they got home." "They're talking about a life issue, and he's giving them all the time in the world," "like he doesn't have anywhere to go," "like he has nothing to do." "He's just, yeah, just real laid-back," ""Yeah, you know, I understand." ""Well, maybe what you should do is this." "Well, you know, I find that-"" "and I'm like, "Wow, this is amazing."" "He never put them off." "He always put the needs of those young people before himself." " I think he does it because this is his way of giving back, giving kids things that he wasn't given as a child, as a teenager, as a man growing up." " I was born in Nassau, Bahamas." "Six months later, my mother, she left to come to America, and she was supposed to come back for me, but she never came." "Any orphan who don't know their parents, you're always going to wonder what the person is like." "And I had expectations of knowing myself, trying to figure out what my mother would be like, you know." "When I was 14, I came to New York to live with her." "I was looking to have a relationship with her, and I guess I had animosity towards her." "She kicked me out, and I just was on the streets since I was, like, 15." "Pride will make you not want to ask anybody, you know, if I could stay with them." "So I would get on the train, write rhymes, and just go to sleep right there." "I started needing money, so I just started rolling with gangs and cats in the streets who was just showing me how to get money, was showing me just how New York streets works." "So this is Brooklyn." "This is the main shopping district, downtown Fulton Street." "And here's where we, you know, this is where we come and get paid at, you know." "I was taught how to go in a store, and we could take a whole section." "There's these huge bags we would make, that the alarm systems wouldn't go off." "I always say the criminal mind is a creative mind, and it's all where you put that energy." "At that time, all my creativity was in finding ways to survive, and now I'm using it in other ways." "All right, person, you come, have your hand open for receiving." "I want to put myself on the examining table, so y'all can do me, so I can go home with some stuff to meditate on." " I would say something to grow on is being patient with people's emotional problems that they come to you with." "You know, some people might see you as a person that they never had in their life or the person they wish they had." "So you cool, just be a little bit more mindful toward- you know, towards the question and the emotions that people come to you with." " You never let me give up on myself." "You're always there." "I appreciate that, and I see that." " All my life, my father wasn't there." "So I didn't really have that male figure in my life." "And when my father finally did come in." "I look at you, and you've been more of a fatherly influence on me than that man has." " More than anything, emotional ruts, quicksand I call it." "You try to find yourself when you're in those and have people around you that you can tap into that can pull you up, because once you go down, you got to be careful during them times," "because you're vulnerable to a lot of things, man." " Nobody's ever emotionally stable, you know, because life gives you all types of different hands." "But how you deal with those things and that will come from watching your breath, breathe easy, build your discipline." "All that emotion that you got- because that's all it is, is energy- if you put it into something that could channel that out of you, so it's something that you're constantly doing that is to get away from the everyday stuff that stress you out." "The first three years of the program is about self-development." "We became a family because of it." " The goal of the Hip Hop Project over the next six months is to produce and complete this album." "We can't want it more than you, so everybody's got to work." "And it's critical that you do a lot of pre-production at home, a lot ofwriting at home, because now when we go in the studio, time is money." "I've worked in every area of the music business." "I started at Def Jam, and then I went to Arista Records." "I was the director of urban artist development." " I went to this conference." "I saw Kheperah walk in, you know." "And, you know, I was like," ""All right, she's fine, you know."" " I see this brother with a kufi on, red, black, and green." "He said, "How you doin'?" "I'm Divine."" " Everybody's pulling on her time, and you know, I'm more humble." "I'm falling back or whatever, and she was so nice." "She held my hand and said," ""I'll speak to you in a second, brother," or whatever." "So, you know, she made me feel so relaxed and calm." "You know, she has a knack for that." " The next day, he called me." "And he said, "What's the thought for the day? "" "And I was feeling that." "I began to look forward to that call in the morning." " And I think that was really the moment it just sparked." "And ever since then, it was just like chemistry." " § Yo §" "§ These are trying times I'm livin' in §" "§ And Brother Hathaway sung it §" "§ And with pain I encounter a large abundance §" "§ My faith seem to hold mad weight §" "§ But when the hurt hits §" "§ I question if God is even the one for me to run with §" "§ Why would the most high put his children so low?" "§" "§ Wasn't no act of suffrage, shit, I damn sure ain't vote §" "§ To choose a route through such bondage §" "§ Through my mind and my soul §" "Ah, bring it back." "§ I met great people, but God made man §" "§ They try to hate me §" "§ But it's he who overstands the circumstance §" "§ Also the creator who put me in this gloom §" "§ And made the decision for my moms to transcend so soon §" "§ Also put many others in doom §" "§ I'm more fortunate than half of the world §" "§ But yet I still feel omitted §" "§ Why must I feel misery and be stuck and left with it §" "§ Trying to see it in a way like §" "§ Maybe God did it to test our strength and build it §" "§ For the end which is the great one §" "§ But where I'm at §" "§ Feel like the ending reward that I'ma gain one §" "§ Only God knows what's next §" "§ I wish his image projects §" "§ And I could reflect what he truly want of me §" "§ And there's no such thing as death §" "§ But I feel like it's just stains §" "§ Left from my past life haunting me §" "§ I don't know what to think §" "§ But I know what I feel §" "§ Feel a chunk of me gone §" "§ The other half getting killed §" "§ I don't know what to think §" "§ But I know what I feel §" "§ I feel a chunk of me gone §" "§ The other half getting killed §" " Where it all started." "Mali, what's the deal, baby?" "In the Bahamas, I was really, like, a hip-hop fanatic." "Coming here was just like destiny," "like I was supposed to be here." " You know, he had this, like, weird style of dressing because we was always with the baggy jeans, and, you know, that was our style of dressing." "He come through with the leather hat, you know, jeans kind of tight, tight vest, because he's fresh from Bahamas." "And, you know, he had the different accent at the time, and we didn't understand nothing." "He was like, "And I believin' that we should do this, and we should do that."" " I started getting into the music scene, and, you know, I was managed by Doug E. Fresh and this guy named Donovan Thomas, and I would go on tour with them." "§ Hindsight 20/20 §" "§ Take it to the cemetery §" "§ Whether the clock stops early or late §" "§ Either you rot in hell §" "§ Or you knock on the pearly gates §" "§ Every morn's a chance to right your wrong §" "§ Don't sweat this song §" "§ Life goes on §" " I would help him get on at different places." "And we used to have little sit-down talk sessions about what he wanted to do with his career and the different directions that he wanted to take." "I find what he's doing now incredible, because he passed on the information and just carried on what it was that I was doing for him." " You go first, right?" " Then she go." " Then she go." "Then it should be chorus?" " Yeah." " Don't cannon go before you?" " Nah, we changing that, 'cause, musically, it won't sound correct." " It's like, they're doing the first 1 6, then" " Hook." " Then hook, then it's cannon and" " Princess." " Princess." " Right?" " I thought they came after." " Hold on, hold on, let's stop, stop." "Yeah, I'm getting confused." " No, it was supposed to be Verse, me, hook." " Right." " Ty, Divine." " Ty, Divine, hook." " Hook." " Bridge." " No bridge." " No." " Hook, then bridge." " Right." " Ah." " All right, let's go." " Yeah, this is how we do this now." "Come on." "Good morning, America." "We got something for you." "Yeah." "Oh, like, what's up?" "Yeah, relax." "[laughs]" "Yeah." "Let's do this like this." "§ Check it out, yo, V-E-R §" "Oh." " Calm down a little bit." " All right." "Yo." "Uh-huh." "Rap critics." "§ V-E-R §" "§ S to the fifth letter §" "§ Ain't nobody destined to spit better §" "§ H-H-P damn right §" "§ Yo, we love what we built §" "§ Whether you black §" "§ Or you got the skin color of milk §" " Oh, shit." "Kazi!" "Ah, man." "We runnin' out of tracks man." " Yo, Kazi, man." " Click all of them." "This is all- this is all the hook?" "The budget that Art Start has given me is not enough to really go and do it full out." "So we're going to have to find studios and outside contributors to help us complete this album." " Today we are Ralph Pierre and Maurice." "Ralph Pierre and Maurice." " Maurice." " I guess we are here to raise money for whatever we're here to raise money for." " What kind of people are here tonight?" " A bunch of people I'm sure have nothing to do with hip-hop at all." " Yes, but they have lots and lots of economy." " A lot of it." " Lots." " A lot of economics." " Well, we at some guy's apartment." "We're about to throw this little show for him" "I guess so he can see what pretty much Art Start is about," "Hip Hop Project, and see what we working with." " You know, seriously." "I was, like, looking around." "I'm like going, "Who let these people into my house, man? "" "You know?" " All right, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy." "How's everybody doing?" "This is Scott Rosenberg." "This is my high school teacher, y'all." "And at lunchtime, we used to get together." "The principal used to try to like, well, we say hate on us, which is basically being an obstacle in our path of expressing ourselves." "So what Scott would do, he would get a lunch-a classroom." "He would bring some beats and some music, and we'd just express ourselves, and it was like my favorite class, and I always said it would be dope ifwe had, like, a school, or, like, a program, like, kids could just express themselves." "And so about three years later, here we are." "Hip Hop Project's going on strong, and thanks to big Scott for making it happen." " § I knew my life be different §" "§ As I walked up in the clinic §" "§ Four months pregnant §" "§ The seed growing in my stomach §" "§ I can feel it §" "§ I had to make a decision §" "§ I'm thinking this could be different §" "§ If my mother sat with me a minute §" "§ Couldn't believe it §" "§ Tried to punch myself in the stomach §" "§ And get rid of its life §" "§ Scared §" "§ Popping pills hoping it just disappear in the night §" "§ In a matter of seconds §" "§ Laying on the table while the doctor flashing the light §" "§ I feel an injection §" "§ And he robbed my baby like a thief in the night §" "You know, it'd be greater when we start getting paid for it." "I won't feel so bad about telling my story." "I'm so fucking poor." " Good morning." "Lemon." "Hello." " Good morning." " Morning." " How can I help you?" " To see Lemon." " Excuse me?" " Lemon." " Have you been here before?" " Yeah." " Write today's date, write his name, and then your name." " I don't like going to the jails." "It's like you feel incarcerated yourself." " Just do me a favor, stand right here." "Just make sure you don't have anything in your pockets." "Make sure there's nothing in them." "Okay." " You'll go through all the securities and the checks." "You're going to see somebody you love." "It kind of takes a toll on you." "I guess he's all right." "I told him what's more important right now is that we all get the lesson from what occurred." " I'm going to get Christopher up for school." "I'm hanging in there with him, because I really want him to at least get a high school diploma and move on." "That he owes me, and I'm going to make sure I get it from him." "I'm getting extra tutoring for him, because his mother was so sick that he was paying more attention to his mother." "So that held him back a lot." "He was very- he's a very bright kid, but he was concerned about his mother." "It was very tough for him." "So now he's just getting back on the right track." " There was a lot of things I felt I wanted to say to my moms." "For one, she never heard my song about her." "I would've liked for her to hear it, like, at least once so she could know, like, how it truly made me feel." "§ lntroducing a cat that y'all assume don't have any problems §" "§ But they building every day §" "§ Constructing nothing but pain and ache §" "§ Death internally §" "§ Feeling my cardio slowly decay §" "§ I got stress where I feel like I'm about to crack §" "§ Or self-destruct §" "§ But I never show people that §" "§ Every day, see, my moms lie on her back §" "§ Unable to do for herself because of the fact §" "§ Was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in '96 §" "§ At age 12 had to grow into a man and shit §" "§ Handling mad responsibility §" "§ I just wanted to be a kid §" "§ Felt God acted inconsiderately §" "§ I used to live the life §" "§ Always got what I wanted §" "§ Moms was doing great §" "§ Then I just watched it plummet §" "§ But materials ain't mean shit to me §" "§ it was when she got worse §" "§ And became my priority §" "§ Pops wasn't around §" "§ So she was who I looked up to §" "§ Gave me love, emotional support §" "§ Plus she bought me stuff too §" "§ Watched her go from walking in walkers §" "§ From taking care of herself §" "§ To needing all them damn doctors to support her §" "§ She couldn't do something as simple §" "§ As go to the toilet to remove her bowels §" "§ To me, that's fuckin' foul §" "§ Had to used those adult diapers known as Depends §" "§ Then I helped give her a shower §" "§ On the weekends §" "§ During the week, she got a bed bath §" "§ Every second I wished §" "§ Shit just switched to how it was in the past §" "§ But it never happened, y'all §" "§ And I constantly asked §" "§ I can't win this battle shit §" "§ Is always leaving me gassed §" "§ Shit changed in a flicker or flash §" "§ Hard not to be sad §" "§ When them good times just didn't last §" "§ Why me §" "§ Never understood that for nothing §" "§ Feeling cursed like somebody imprecated something §" "§ I once had it all §" "§ Watched it fall §" "§ Crumble right before my eyes §" "§ its affect was strong §" "§ Hoping shit would change §" "§ But it didn't evolve §" "§ It just grew progressively §" "§ And it still go on §" "§ I once had it all §" "§ Watched it fall §" "§ Crumble right before my eyes §" "§ its affect was strong §" "§ Hoping shit would change §" "§ But it didn't evolve §" "§ And now this hurts, y'all §" " Today's my first day of school at Mercy College." "I'm going to feel really odd walking into class really, really late." "I'm kind of nervous about juggling all of my responsibilities." "I think if I can make it through this," "I'm going to be able to make it through more stuff that I'm going to have to endure as I go into my career later in the future, so I'm gonna be all right." "My anger motivates me." "Where I want to go in life motivates me." "Hip-hop motivates me." "Just doing this album, that'll be enough fulfillment for me, because it's like I didn't give up on my dream." " I was stressed out because I had to call all these different studios to try to get them to give us a reduced rate." "Out of nowhere, I get a phone call, and it's somebody from Russell Simmons' office saying that Bruce Willis and Russell Simmons, they're working together, and he just says," ""Yo, I'm going to donate a studio to you."" "Actually, I thought it was somebody that was playing at first, but I realized that they were actually saying that we could get a studio." "So, man, I was hyped." "That's the gift of a lifetime, especially being an artist myself." "It's like a gift from God." " Yeah, I dressed up." " What's up, man?" "Wow." " How you feelin', man?" " Good." " Yo, thank you, man." " Oh, you're welcome." " We used to record in, like, a little closet, you know what I'm saying?" "So I knew it was going to come together some way." "You know, we were just trying to get all these different studios to, like, donate the time or whatever." "But, yo, just" " The world moves in mysterious ways, man." " It does." " Rap has been an expression from poor, disenfranchised people." "It has reached the world, but it's been a voice for voiceless people." "What it's done for race relations in this country is phenomenal." "It has made this world much smaller." " Color lines live in people's minds that are over 35, 40 years old." "You know, the world is changing little by little." " Music is going to bring together the young people." "That's what I stand behind." "And also hip-hop is changing the world as we see it, if you to turn on your television every day." "And right here, it's bringing us together." " Through art, people survive, and expression really gives you a chance to dream and to have vision." "And with the school systems not supporting these kind of efforts, it's so important to have projects like these." " I have a lot of faith in these kids and the entire program." "In five years, hopefully there'll be 25 Art Start programs in 25 other cities in this country." "[applause]" " The landlord is trying to evict us." "It's all due to my ma's passing." "After she passed, the building was trying to say that we had no legal right to stay here." "We don't have no problems." "We're good tenants." "We're never late with rent, you know what I'm saying?" "So there's no reason to, I feel, that we should move out of here just despite that the building would want to rent the apartment out to somebody who will pay more money." "You just counting each day now, like, okay, this is the last Sunday I'll stay here or the last whatever, you know." "You count-you marking the days." "I don't want that to happen." " Sometimes people say they want to do something, and then the opportunity presents itself, and then you're like, "Do I really want to do this? "" "You know, or you sabotage yourself, because sometimes we're afraid of our own success." "I thought people were more hyped before we got the studio." "When you get what you've been striving for, it's like you get stuck for a minute." "Everybody kind of like scared or something, you know?" "Not holding their weight." "Why you don't have your four songs?" " Not being consistent and lack of motivation." "If you don't finish what it is that you start, the energy that you had making it's not going to be the same the next day." "So it's like, you just push it to the side, and it's,like, just not following up." " Being truthful with yourself, most people just be fronting all the time, lying." "You know what I'm saying?" "In time past, you know, and I'm speaking from experience, you really don't accomplish what you thought you would accomplish because you was living in an illusion." "You know what I'm saying?" "We all go-we all do it." " My schedule is crazy." "I'm doing school, putting an album together, helping my family, staying strong, and trying to stay sane." "Nothing in life is going to come to you easy." "You're going to have to struggle, or you're going to have to work hard." "I can't imagine where my life would be right now if I didn't go to Hip Hop Project." "This is what made me go to college." "This is what made me understand that, okay, you had an abortion, but it ain't the end of the world, baby girl." "You're going to be all right." "Today, my dad got sentenced." "So I'm going to call my mom and find out what happened." "[phone ringing]" " Hello?" " Hey, Mommy." " So you don't know how much time he got left still?" " Did she get to speak to him?" "So yeah, y'all should definitely see that man, because usually, if you get sentenced and they give you a little time or whatever, that's only a detention center." "So they send you to another spot after you're sentenced or whatever." " Yeah, send him upstate or whatever." " Yeah." " All right." "So we'll see." "It was crazy." " Basically, what goes down is a court date, and this'll determine whether or not we're going to be staying here." "So it's a pretty crazy day." "See you later." "All right." " We are going in to see ifwe could win the apartment back." "I feel it's going to happen." "There's no other way." "We're hopeful." "Yes." " Ivy did, what I would say, is the most responsible thing she could do." "Her daughter passes." "She goes and gets custody of her two grandchildren." "She gets all the documents together from school, and then she goes and presents it to the landlord." "And the landlord's response is, pardon me, but," ""Fuck you, and I'm going to evict you and kick you out." "Let me do that first thing, you know, immediately."" "And that's what he did." "It'll probably take a full year of litigation." "[alarm clock beeping]" " I pray for guidance and focus today to accomplish a productive meeting." "I also pray for strength and courage and unity to go the distance." "A lot of times, we start a project, and along the way, people fall short, and meeting the goal is not as easy as it seems." "Focus on principle rather than the price of gold, things that can stay with us always, not just things that just pass through our hands." "Sometimes a situation calls for you to let certain things just roll off your back, but sometimes, you know, I'm human too." "Some days I do not fuckin' want to be here." "I really don't, you know?" "But the only reason I'm here is 'cause I put my word out that I'm going to be here." "And that's the only thing I've found in life." "That's the only thing I respect about anybody, you know." "We're all just here." "We all want to work, so let's get it on, man." "I mean, nobody get a fucking gift like we got, you know?" "And it's like we got the gift, and everybody got lax." "Everybody, like, took a step back." " 2:00 p.m. ain't the same." " 2:00 p.m." "Do it at 1 :00, because he just going to be sitting there." " Can you be there at 1 :00?" " I can't be there at 1 :00." " It's been a long time trying to make it happen and pushing and selling people on the idea and thousands of phone calls and trying to, you know," "look past when people going through their emotional ruts, pulling them up, draining myself." "I'm just tired of trying to push everybody." "If you keep pushing people or keep holding their hand, they never get a chance to do it they self." "So right now I'm just trying to focus on myself and learn to let go." "and learn to let go." "A lot of people counted me out since I was young." "They would say I was going to be a criminal, and I was just headed for jail." "I kind of came back just to let them know, like, you know, I'm doing good." "And I had some ups and downs, but for the most part, I feel like I'm successful." "This is where I grew up at." "When my mother left me, her friend May used to live here." "Wow." "Been a long, long time." "My mother used to send money, and instead of giving it to me," "May used to spend it, her and her husband." "I remember them kicking me out, and child welfare, they found me out there on the corner just standing up crying and stuff." "I'll always remember this place." "Every time I pass here, I get, like, little flashbacks." "The children's emergency hostel is a home for kids who aren't wanted." "I haven't been in this place in more than 20 years." "I was like, three years old, and I was here for two years." "You got to be the first one out of the bathroom to make sure you get your clothes." "Because we used to go to school, we had no underwear, no socks." "But you know, back then, you didn't really care." "You just was, like, happy to have something to wear, you know what I'm saying?" "I seen two little boys in there, and I guess I used to be just like them, and, you know, just-I just feel like I just came a long way." "And it's funny how life is, you know?" "Just-you never know the twists and turns that's going to happen." "And hopefully one day I can make enough money, and I can give back to places like this, you know what I'm saying?" "Because they-they- you never know who'll be in here next, you know what I'm saying?" "So I stayed there until I was four years old." "A lady by the name of Catherine Brown, she worked there as a social worker." " At that time, Christopher was observed that he was not having any visitors." "So I asked permission to have Christopher come and visit with us." "Maybe something more could be done for him than for him to spend the rest of his time at the children's emergency hostel." " We developed a relationship, and she asked me, did I want to come live with her for a longer period of time, and I said, "All right."" " As he got older, he had a problem wondering, how could strangers love him rather than his own mother?" " He was searching, and she knew, too, that he was searching for an identity, and that was something that she was determined to help him find." " All I learned about adolescents I learned from Christopher." "He really put us through- through a lot, but we still persevered with him." " Her family was pretty welcoming until I was about 14 years old, and I did something that broke the camel's back, I guess." "They asked me if I wanted to stay, and I said, "No."" "I put them through too much, and I didn't want to be around all the hate that was from the rest of the family." "I went back to another orphanage." "Supposedly they were saying I was crazy, and they was filling you up with Ritalin and drugs and all this stuff." "But there wasn't nothing wrong with me, you know what I'm saying?" "The psychiatrist just said," ""This guy is looking for something more in this life." "There's something missing."" "So he contacted the American Embassy, who found my mother, and they sent a letter to her and asked her, did she want me to come live with her?" "And I got on the plane a couple weeks later." " I felt like I was a failure, you know, that I didn't do what I was supposed to do for him and all of that, you know?" "But when I looked back as time went on," "I realized that, you know, it was-it was better for him." " I want to see Chris be an example, particularly kids who are institutionalized, so they, too, can have something to work towards, because they can see success at the end." "Mm-hmm." "And finally, too, I'd like to see him bond with his biological mom." "I think that's primary." "Should you decide to get married and have children of your own, you would know the importance of a family life, and you'd be able to pass that on to yours." " It's good seeing you." " Yeah, you too, Chris." " You take care." " Yeah." "Don't let the girls run away with you now." " You never know where life leads you, and you never know when you're going to see somebody again, and I really wanted Mumi to see that I turned out good." "It wasn't a waste of time." "It wasn't a waste of time." " Yeah, this is for my kids' kids' kids." "For our kids." "You know, H-H-P." "Uh, shit." "Go-go-go-getters." "Aha." "Yeah." "§ Look at our hip-hop §" "§ Nothing but jewelry and fake cars §" "§ its Big Pac §" "§ Damn we shooting at A stars §" "§ I hope when they aim at me §" "§ They got the pupils of Ray Charles §" "§ Don't let a positive turn to a negative §" "§ Here's a jewel that I learned from a relative check §" "§ Every gesture is a world to be mastered §" "§ So if you reach from your hip §" "§ Does it mean I got a earl in my casket §" "§ People like to rhyme for their block §" "§ I think my flow greater §" "§ I'm not a Hove hater §" "§ But then again, I made it a ill habit §" "§ To study the creator of Illmatic §" "§ I want a album with diamond at least §" "§ 'Cause I'm sick ofwatching these innocents die in the street §" "§ Sing to me §" "§ There's a world out there, black man §" "§ That really don't care about you §" "§ Fear and doubt you §" "§ There's a world out there, black queen §" "§ That really don't care about you §" "§ Fear and doubt you §" "§ There's a world out there, black man §" "§ That really don't care about you §" "§ Fear and doubt you §" "§ Here's proof your relationship a messed-up world §" "§ 'Cause while she-- §" "Oh, I messed up she." "She, I said she." "He." "§ Now here's proof your relationship a messed-up world §" "§ 'Cause while he lying and cheating §" "§ Denying you need him §" "§ You crying, you weak §" "§ And you don't, you just a messed up girl §" "§ I get a hip §" "Oh, fuck." "Blah." " Every day, there's a session in here." "Everybody just seems more enthused and more to where they step into the plate at bat." "It gets to the point to where it's like once we create, we don't want to stop." " I'm glad to be back." "I definitely see the growth, see the change." "As we move on to the pinnacle, taking it to the top," "I pray that everybody stay together, stay focused." "Pass it to my left." " Recording in the studio." "Speaking to my pops more often." " When you say with your pops, right..." " Yeah." " Who initiate that?" "You call him or" " Now it's to the point that, like, if he can hit me up or I can hit him up, it doesn't matter, but usually it would take me to call him." " I'm learning that now." "Like, with my moms too," "I'm waiting on her to try to resolve the whole relationship." "Just because somebody's your parent don't mean they got it all together, you know what I'm saying?" " Holla." " So you sometimes will be the one to have to take the lead and initiate stuff, so..." " Not living on the streets no more." " Holla." " That's a big, big, big, big, big accomplishment, thanks to Kazi and family." " I had a great time in the Bahamas." "I had a very good time with my foster mother down there in terms of just, every day we had a conversation, and, you know, just a lot of- lot of things just undone." "You can go years holding animosity or thoughts about somebody, and, you know, it was like a spiritual journey, man." "I was-a lot of changes, definitely a lot of changes." " § Dear Daddy §" "§ Hey, how you doin' §" "§ I hope you're holding up §" "§ And the pictures cheer you up §" "§ I sent you 50 dollars §" "§ And I hope it was enough §" "§ College is all right §" "§ But the professor's kind of tough §" "§ The boys been actin' up §" "§ Junior's getting big §" "§ And James is into girls §" "§ I keeps them in their books §" "§ I make sure they home and not coming in late §" "§ I give 'em money when I can if Mommy doesn't have it §" "§ Otherwise we fine §" "§ I guess she's a'ight §" "§ You know she don't like to talk about her feelings §" "§ The other morning when she drove me to school §" "§ She started crying and §" "§ The other morning when she drove me to school §" "§ I seen tears § [groans]" " I like that, but I don't want you to do it so emotional." " So you want me to be more monotone?" " Not monotone, but when you hear yourself about to really like, burst out, tighten back on it, all right?" " All right." "§ I used to live the life §" "§ Always got what I wanted §" "§ Moms was doing great §" "§ Then I just watched it plummet §" "§ But materials ain't mean shit to me §" "§ It was when she got worse §" "§ And became my priority §" "§ Pops wasn't around §" "§ So she was who I looked up to §" "§ Gave me love, emotional support §" "§ Plus she bought me stuff too §" "§ Watched her go from walking in walkers §" "§ From taking care of herself §" "§ To needing all them damn doctors to support her §" "§ She couldn't do something as simple... §" "If I don't do music, it's like then I can't see 'cause the world, like, gets ahead of me," "like, there's a whole bunch of people out there that want to do the same thing and are as passionate or something, and then, like, while I'm sleeping, they could be, like, breathing on my neck," "taking- wanting to take that slot." " I think he's crazy." "[laughs]" " Why?" " Because his schoolwork is very, very poor." "Christopher, read it for yourself." " What?" " What your" " Read my progress report?" " Yes, please." " Okay." "Okay, it's two 55s, and two non-credits." " I think the music is good, but he needs, you know, to get out of high school, get into a college so if the music fail, he have something to fall back on." " The music's not going to fail, though." " It will, and you don't know." " I know it's not going to fail." " Anything can happen." " No, anything can't happen." "It can happen, but that can't happen unless l-unless I meet, you know what I'm saying?" "Unless I meet my maker real soon, that's not going to happen." "Like, I'm guaranteed it." "I know, like, there's nothing." "I'm guaranteed it." " All these years that your mother was alive, you were in school, I'm picking up, you feel like we're both wasting time if you can't even produce a high school diploma." "At least that, so later on, if something happens, you won't be so disappointed with the music because, I mean, nothing is 100% sure." " Yo, y'all been missing out, G," "like, because me and cannon been grinding, grinding." " But you cannot miss school." "No, wait." "I just need to interject." "No, I'm not- It's not on you." "I'm saying it for the table." "I appreciate the artistry and the spirit, but you cannot miss school." "If you start missing school, it's no different from being on a basketball team." "You're not going to play." "You're going to be benched." " § Yeah, listen up §" "§ Listen up §" "§ Listen up, I got a story to tell §" "§ We were young with dreams §" "§ On doing the rap thing §" "§ But something was missing §" "§ That's knowin' the industry §" "§ Once we got it §" "§ We started the process on wanting to progress §" "§ Kazi told us just to switch up the topic on writing §" "§ I gave him headaches §" "§ Always verbally fighting §" "§ Always refusing to do what this man was implying §" "§ The rest would listen §" "§ I would be the only one trippin' §" "§ While others made the transition §" "§ I was resistant §" "§ Huffin' and puffin' §" "§ Ready to give up and say fuck it §" "§ But something inside me §" "§ Told me to keep budging' §" "§ I didn't want to write songs that were gonna §" "§ Talk about how we ought to give hope" "§ To those from the gutter §" "§ I was young and dumb §" "§ Talking about guns and drugs §" "§ Following others §" "§ And spitting' about shit that I never done §" "§ When they elevated §" "§ I wasn't down for those changes §" "§ We was all one book §" "§ But still on different pages... §" "I hope that the message that we putting in this album really gets heard." "It's important that we leave a good road for kids to follow that is not all about selling drugs and having guns." "§ Hey, yo, cannon had a song on when his mother died §" "§ Then Princess had a song called A Mother's Cry §" "§ Both songs are fire, and it truly inspired §" "§ People to listen §" "§ And besides, that gangster shit was tired §" "§ I was only getting by with these one-verse rhymes §" "§ Then I would wonder why I had to go and play the sidelines §" "§ Once the group started shining, it was leaving me hurt §" "§ But what a jerk §" "§ It was my fault for lacking in work §" "§ Thinkin' Tohki with his poetry §" "§ Was explosively opening §" "§ His opportunities §" "§ I was noticing Divine had a plot §" "§ On taking over these blocks with Team Revolution §" "§ Now we got Canarsie on lock §" "§ Young niggas in the grind making shit happen §" "§ And here I am unfocused, females were my distraction §" "§ The school situation left a nigga devastated §" "§ Feeling like I let my mother down §" "§ lnside my heart was aching §" "§ I started losing faith §" "§ Thinking on erasing myself up off the scene §" "§ 'Cause I felt out of place §" "§ But my peoples around the way §" "§ They said I needed to stay §" "§ On overcoming the pain §" "§ I need to step up my game §" "§ But in the meanwhile §" "§ Agony left §" "§ It was very clear to me §" "§ That her monkey ass was full of herself §" "§ This the truth that I'm spitting §" "§ I'm putting out my business §" "§ So fall back and relax §" "§ Pay attention and listen §" " Music is really a gift." "I remember watching a documentary about Fela Kuti, and he was talking about to be an artist or a musician, it's a blessing, and when you abuse that and feed the people nonsense or garbage, you-you know, you have a high price to pay." "And that hit me, you know?" "Especially doing this work." "Music is a healing art." "It's a release, you know?" "Don't hold that stuff inside." "It cause ulcers and cancer, man." "Put that in your music." " § The man in the mirror §" "§ I've been through it all §" "§ My struggle was long... §" "Every time me and my moms was supposed to link up, something happened, or she had to go to work." "But if mending that relationship, if that's going to help me in my life and help her life," "I'm down to meet her halfway and do the work that it takes to reconcile with her, and that's what this is all about." "How am I gonna tell other people to heal if I'm not healing the situation?" "So I definitely need to connect with her and have a- have a conversation." "I chose to stay in the studio until sometimes 7:00 in the morning and then go to school and sometimes disregard it." "I'm just now wisening up and really trying to graduate high school." "And it definitely been stressing me, because my life without music is no life at all." " I'm just hanging in there." "I'm getting ready to give up, but I'm giving him one more chance." "He's serious for the first time." "He's serious for the first time." " Yeah." "Turn the music up." "§ Real artists put their heart in their songs §" "§ So everybody just follow along §" "You hear me?" "§ Now all I ever wanted to do was just rap and be wise §" "§ But everybody mind they business §" "§ And they capitalize §" "§ Now everybody who ain't affiliated §" "§ They really hate it and made it §" "§ Oh, just so hard for success §" "§ Pardon my stress §" "§ But it's hard to ingest the pain §" "§ Without a doubt, I was... §" " Accomplishment is what every human being live for, purpose, just to say that I did something, you know?" "I can see the finish line now and just to get through it, these-these next couple ofweeks." "§ §" " I think media training is so important." "If I get a great interview out of you, it makes me look good." "You do a great interview, it makes you look good." "So if I'm like, yo, you know, "Lou, what's up man?" ""Tell me, where did it all begin?" "And you're like, "You know, I'm saying, um, you know."" "[laughter]" "Blah, blah, blah, blah." "Cut." "I'm going to wrap the interview, like, "Word, word, good luck."" " One reason why this program works is because theory" "like, in school, they give you theory, but this works because we do it hands-on." "Being that you did say Lou, what ifwe pretended that you was interviewing him right now or whatever?" " All right, we're right here, MTV Beach House." "We've got one of the hottest cats on the streets right now." " Yes, sir." " My man, Lou, down with the HHP project, right?" " Yeah." " Pleasure, man, pleasure." "You guys are doing it big right now, right?" " Yeah, man, you know, just collaborating with a lot of people." "We're making it happen, you know, putting out the album." " Mm-hmm." " Lot of hard work." "And I've been learning a lot through the process, you know, that you have to go through the process, you know?" "So there's no getting around that and just trying to stay focused." " What he did right is, you give people more than what they need, then they're always going to want to put you on their airwaves." "Verse, where you from, man?" " Born in Harlem, from the Bronx." " From the Bronx?" "What's different about you than any other artist I've heard, because there's a hundred artists coming out a day, bro." "And you know, we're kind of getting tired of them, man." "So what is it that you're going to do to pique my interest?" " Whether you're white, black, or whatever, you're going to relate to the talent and the actual content." " I want to hear what that sounds like, man." "Just, you know, a cappella, man." "Give me about eight bars, man." "Kick a verse, Verse." " § Every label's a label shit §" "§ They want to enable spit §" "§ And I'll be watching you daily in the cable shit §" "§ And I just escaped the game §" "§ Because the black is like the over rhyme §" "§ Just escaped the prick who own this clothing line" "§ So now holes in the coat §" "§ Pop knows my rhyme, but you know §" "§ Everything is just so one to none §" "§ You're not a dickhead §" "§ But you understand where I'm coming from §" "§ Stayed back, you said you like me, right §" "§ Because we're kind of laid-back §" "§ Blazin' the interview, don't mean to be critical §" "§ But this lyrical part really a part of the interview?" "§ [laughter]" " To leave the mastering plant and know that that's on the way to the manufacturing plant, you know, I had the big Kool-Aid smile." "To me, that's the biggest thing I did in my whole life." "And I didn't do it by myself." "I did it with my family." "I'm going to cry." "Oh, man, it's been a long time." "We got 16, 17 cuts on the album, and it's bangin', you know, everything is hot." "[applause] [applause]" "I'm on my way to Queens to see my mother, have a conversation with her that I've been meaning to have for a very long time." "Instead of sweeping it under the rug or ignoring it or going through the same thing over and over again," "I'm just going to deal with it, today, you know?" " Oh, hi." " Hello, Gene." " Okay." " How are you doing?" " All right." " Can I come in?" " Sure." " How are you doing?" " Okay." " Been a long time." " Mm-hmm." " You got a new 'do." " Yeah, I cut my hair off." " It's the first time I'm out here." " Yeah." " This is nice." "Coming here, there's so much stuff I guess I had to ask." "I don't know where to start." " Start someplace." " I guess..." "Well, so why you- why you left?" " Why I left you?" " Yeah." " It's not a matter of left you." "There is millions of people in this country that came from other countries." " All right, mm-hmm." " And lots that left their children before they joined them again." "It's only some rebel." " You never take up no responsibility for it." "It's just like it wasn't" " Take responsibility for what?" " For what?" " Mm-hmm." " Where you was all that time, man." " All what time?" " 1 4 years." "Where was you all that time?" "Let me tell you, just as much as I'm supposed to listen to you, you need to listen sometimes too, because parents don't always know what they doing." " Mm-hmm." " You know, so sometimes y'all got to humble up and listen to y'all children." "I'm willing to understand the parts about where I wasn't totally right, you know?" "But I'm asking you to hear me, you know what I'm saying?" "Listen to what I'm, you know, what I was going through." "When you see a kid that's supposedly acting up or being rebellious, it's a cry out to say, "l want your attention." "I want you to love me."" "Because that's all it was." "I ain't-I'm not a bad person." "I never was a bad kid." "Even when-in the Bahamas, when I was always in trouble, that's all it was, you know?" "And it seemed like that was the only time" "I got attention from people, when I was acting up." "And I guarantee, you talk to any of these prisoners in these compounds, they'll te- you talk to them, they just- their actions is really not about just being bad." "It's deeper, you know?" "And we never got to that level, you know what I mean?" " So now you're coming to say, all this, all this." "I knew what I went when I left you then." "I didn't know the situation was going to turn out the way it is, because that's not what we planned." "And when you plan, you always plan, it never work like you plan." "And it turned out different." "If I could reverse things, I would reverse my life different." "I wouldn't do as what I did before." "To apologize for whatever." "Apologize for what?" " My point exactly." " Apologize for what?" "I don't see what you say to apologize for." " No doubt." " If any apology, you have to apologize to me." " Well, Gene, I apologize for bringing any animosity to you when I came here to America." "If I disrespected you," "I have a lot of stuff on my chest." "Rather than take that as an attack on you, just take it as just pain." "I would like to make the first step toward repairing or healing any bad situations or scars in our relationship." "So I apologize." "So..." " Would you be willing to just give him a hug and say, "I'm sorry"?" "In his heart, he's an innocent little boy that's looking for his mother, you know?" "And he's my man, and I love him." " Listen." "I did all of that before, and he never accept that." " And you understand that he was a child dealing with an adult, dealing with his mother, and like he said, he was in pain." "What would it take to move forward, understanding that where he was at the time and where he is now is a great transition." "And let me tell you something, your son is an incredible man, and I know you know it." "All you have to do now is just be there." " Listen, I'm open to anything." " Okay." " He's welcome if he want to come." "My door is open." " Okay, thank you." " Did you have that kind of a conversation with your mother about how everything happened?" " No." "I really never carry any animosity, though." "I wish life were better." "I said, if she was there, maybe life would be different." "Maybe I would get the education that I want or the profession that I had wanted then." "And-but I still doesn't hold it for her." " Well, you know, maybe I'm not as strong as you." " The situation happens, and you got to correct it." "That's what life is." " Gene, I said I was going to come here today." "I never touched your hand before." "[laughs]" " Oh, you never?" " When I ever touch your hand?" " Well, I guess." " I never held your hand." "I said I'm going to come here today and just let go ofwhatever I've been holding, and, you know, I just want to make up for where I was- where I wasn't always" "When I wasn't always understanding, you know?" "So" "So, you know, I'd never want you to leave life and not know that I thank- thank you for giving me life, and, um, you know, and I" "I'm going sit by you." "Did I ever give you a hug?" "You know, the first day I saw you, Gene, you were standing- you know, I was standing on the escalator right behind you with Natalie, right?" "And then you walked- I watched you walk up, and I stood there, and I just watched you." "You went to the baggage claim." "You asked the man, "I'm looking for a little boy,"" "whatever, whatever, and I was standing there watching." "Then I raised my hand." "I gave Natalie a hug, and we just said, you know." "So I never gave you" " Well, you didn't want to hug me, but I just let it be." " It's all good." " Mm-hmm." " I'm sorry." " Okay." " You all right?" " Mm-hmm." " Hopefully, my life, other people could look at it and learn." "I let the camera and y'all into, like, a lot of places where l-I didn't want to, but I figure everybody goes through this stuff in life, and it's the people who share it is really the strongest." " I just want to say I love you." " I can't rise if I got weight on me, you know?" "So I feel liberated." "So I feel liberated." "I decided in the time of change to make some big changes, and so around the energy of the Hip Hop Project, you will have a new leadership here." "I decided to leave the Hip Hop Project to follow my dream to be an artist." "Well, this is my home studio." "Been building this for a while." "I'm still building it, but it's getting there." "You know, I came into Art Start as an artist, which is why I was able, you know, to connect with them." "But now I want to dedicate all my time to just doing, you know, doing the music." "So it's just now to find somebody to fill those shoes when I'm gone." " Whoever he brings in has to have that same touch on their lives." "'Cause that's what made it important." "That's what kept us there." "It wasn't just because it was some curriculum." "It was because he was involved in our lives on a day-to-day." "If they not doing that, they'll be losing that whole essence to what the Hip Hop Project is even about." " You know, I've been thinking about, you know, this transition." "I was trying to figure out who would be the person to take my place." "So I'm looking all around, and lo and behold, sometimes what you're looking for is right in front of your face." "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would like nothing more than for you to be the new program director." "Plus, you know, like, I was a student at Art Start, and somebody passed me the baton." "I would like to pass it to you, you know?" " [laughs]" " Elijah, you with me?" "I'm nervous, man." "Okay, here goes." "Let me say I'm not getting any younger, and of all the women I've met in my life..." "Elijah." " § My whole life has changed §" " You give me so much that I- that I had to throw away my little black book." "And now..." "Elijah?" "Elijah?" " § Everything is different now §" "§ Girl, I finally have settled down §" "§ And became a one-woman man §" " All right." "And I've been resistant to open my heart, because trust is not an easy thing to give away, and I know that these- you know, when things are good, it's all good, but..." "Elijah?" " § Would love me if I was down and out?" "§" "§ Would you still have love for me?" "§" "§ Girl §" " All right." "But now I know, and there's no doubt you are the one." "And I guess-I guess what I'm really trying to say is..." "Elijah." " § I'm on my knees sayin' §" " § Marry me § [applause and screaming]" "Diandra, yo, I be getting two-ways from her, like, once every month," ""Yo, Lou, you're going to make it."" "[laughter]" " I did not know this was gonna to happen in '99." "You know what I'm saying, that it would even go this far, that it would take this long to do the album, you know what I'm saying?" " Thank you for everything, you know what I'm saying?" "Thank you for your patience." "Thank you for your understanding." "Just your love is unconditional, you know what I'm saying?" "Being a father, even when my father's not here." "Thank you for being there just to help me along this way." " Only thing I would say to the pinnacle as y'all move on, always give back." "I've been saying that since day one." "Make sure you've got those certain ten that you know you're giving back to." " Three time, three time." " My brother." "Check, check, check." "Is this thing on?" "Can y'all hear me out there?" "§ Listen §" "§ It's Kharma Kazi §" "§ and the Hip Hop Project §" "This is how we gonna do." "This is roll call." "What we're about to bring to you, it's the next generation:" "MCs, poets, singers." "I hope y'all ready." "First up to bat is cannon." "§ It's C-A-double N-O-N up in ya neighborhood §" "§ Strollin', holdin' that pen and a pad" "§ Fill in that paper good §" "§ Roaming the city §" "§ Holdin' my giddy-guitar on my back §" "§ Passion for music high §" "§ I'm a monster on a track §" "§ Do it all §" "§ Ain't no limit with tunes from start to finish §" "§ I spark a image §" "§ Could make a cat feel me or party wit' it §" "§ I'm a bad dude §" "§ Name a weapon in war, I'll blast you §" "§ Stomping land wit' my troops §" "§ Better be prepared when we pass through §" "§ Royalty quality, Princess no denying me §" "§ Test me and your tracks will get burned §" "§ Like music piracy §" "§ Bombing ya speakers hot flow conceivers §" "§ Ill with the skill and the business of music §" "§ Listen §" "§ Pay attention and I'ma teach ya §" "§ Hate lays runnin' with they lips §" "§ What's been said §" "§ I just grind and keep shit in the fam §" "§ Like inbreds §" "§ It's double H-P §" "§ We shining crazy like loony prisms §" "§ Flows official booths §" "§ Get injured when we up in 'em... §" "All right, so I want to welcome y'all to the Hip Hop Project." "I'm Princess." "I'm the director for the Hip Hop Project." "Let's go around and just say your name, how old you are, what school you go to." " I feel like when I leave this life," "I did something, and you still see it." "You know, you leave a legacy." "So I could come in a year from now, and I'm sitting in the back just watching, and know that I had a part in giving it life." "In my lifetime, I seen a lot of things." "Ups." "Downs." "Trials." "Tribulations." "But you know what?" "Through it all, I learned one thing." "You got to stay strong." "§ The odds was against me §" "§ I was favored to forfeit §" "§ But I overcame, maintained through hardship §" "§ My mama didn't want me §" "§ I came up a orphan §" "§ Could've been a nut in the condom §" "§ Flushed in a toilet §" "§ My destiny altered §" "§ My fate has been offered §" "§ Had a vision I would make it regardless §" "§ This is my testimony §" "§ Hear me clear §" "§ Life was whooping my derrière §" "§ To the man upstairs §" "§ Said a prayer §" "§ So I could stand and stare §" "§ At the man in the mirror §" "§ I been through it all §" "§ My struggle was long §" "§ It was tough §" "§ I was strong §" "§ Though my mama was gone §" "§ Kids used to tease me §" "§ I'm full of my pride §" "§ When no one was lookin', of course I cried §" "§ I felt awful inside §" "§ I tossed at night §" "§ From the bottom I was forced to rise §" "§ I know the ground gonna shake §" "§ And the winds will blow §" "§ Through the highs and the lows §" "§ My survivors know §" " § Oh, you got to stay strong §" "§ Life still goes on §" " § I know the ground gonna shake §" "§ And the winds will blow §" "§ Through the highs and the lows §" "§ My survivors know §" " § Oh, you got to stay strong §" "§ Life still goes on §" " § I know looking at my life §" "§ All the hardship I been through §" "§ Made me sharp as a Ginsu §" "§ Heart was an igloo §" "§ I took the bitter with the sweet §" "§ Living in the streets §" "§ Getting into beef §" "§ Limiting my peace §" "§ I saw Murphy's Law §" "§ Multiplied by four §" "§ The drama I endured §" "§ Never stumbled fall §" "§ Street-smart, book retard §" "§ I evolved §" "§ Chips stacked against me, and I still beat odds §" "§ I go to the depths of my soul §" "§ Introspect §" "§ Focus my steps §" "§ Then go for the goal §" "§ Owe so many debts §" "§ To the shoulders I've wept §" "§ I want y'all to know I've been coached by the best... §"