"Okay, Alex, change me back." "Oh, but Daddy, you look so cute as a goat." "Let's make him eat a tin can." "Not funny, Max." "Alex, change me back." "Okay, okay." "Huminoza espinoza" " We really got your goat, huh, Dad?" " Got your goat." "That's it." "You just laughed your way into one hour of study hall, starting now." " Let's go." " We didn't even..." "And that means working on your wizard homework and not messing around." "Who's laughing now, huh?" "There's something wrong with that spell." "Or maybe it's me." "No, it's gotta be the spell." "Okay." "What are you doing on the wizard computer?" "Yeah, we're supposed to be doing our homework, not surfing the World Wide Wiz Web." "I have to do a little shopping." "I like to look good when I'm doing my homework." "Oh, this place has the best no-trip high heels." "No matter how high the heels are, it's impossible to twist your ankle." "I have to try some on." "They were cuter on-screen." "Oh, look, here's something for Justin." "Check it out." "Mini-dragons for sale." "Okay, no. I'm getting out of here because I don't wanna get involved." "Oh, that is the cutest little dog I've ever seen." "Hey, boy." "Not only is he cute, but he's also a dragon." "That's right, a mythical creature and a dog combined." "Now tell me, how many would you like?" "We're just looking." "What would it take for me to get you involved in one of these marvelous little dragon-dogs today?" "I don't get it. ls it a dragon or is it a dog?" "It was charmed to look like a dog so it could exist in the real world." "Now, beat it, kid." "I'm in the middle of a sale." "Okay, how are we gonna have a dragon-dog?" "Mom would totally freak out." "Wait." "If you guys buy right now, I will throw in a smoke detector, and a small device that cuts tomatoes." "You mean, like a knife?" "Kid..." "Here's a roll of quarters." "Knock yourself out." " With what?" " The quarters." "He seems friendly." "I bet you he's not much of a guard dog." " That is awesome." " l like him." "He's feisty." "Dragon in a beagle suit, what's the big deal?" "I'll tell you what the big deal is." "This dog-dragon is on sale for 5 million cubicks." "And because you have a coupon-- Here, take that." "it's 20 percent off." "Dude, you should totally get him." "He's on sale." "Plus he'll throw in a "tomato" slicer." "I'm sorry." "I'm can't get another dog again." "No way." " Not after what happened with Willie." " Wait, who's Willie?" "He's the dog we had when you were a baby." "Oh, no, here comes the tears." "Or as Justin calls them, his "allergies."" "When I was 7, he got lost, and I swore I'd never love another dog again." "I gotta go." "My allergies are acting up, so... I'll take him." "Justin's gonna love me for this." "But Justin just said that he doesn't want a dog." " Trust me, Justin wants a dog." " Trust her, Justin wants a dog." "Here's 5 million cubicks in U.S. currency." "Oh, I know the exchange rate." "I order from the Abercrombie and Witch catalog all the time." "Good." "Your five-second warranty just ended right now." "Well, let's go find a cute doggie sweater to match that cute doggie face." "Come on." "Come on, doggie." "My dog burnt my homework." "That'll be a new one." "Justin, you're gonna love this." "Close your eyes." "Okay, but I'm not gonna taste anything." "Ta-da." "Alex, what's that dragon-dog doing here?" "I told you, I don't want another pet." "Well, I think you do, and so did the dragon seller." "Of course he did, he's a dragon seller." "And besides, what are you gonna tell Mom and Dad?" "Mom and Dad don't have to know he's a dragon. I'll say I found a dog." "Because it's a dog and it looks like a dog, that barks fire." "Okay, I appreciate what you're trying to do for me here, but I can't go down this path again." "And besides, you know about my allergies." "It's crying." "I'm allergic to sadness." "Look, I know losing Willie broke your heart." "But the truth is, he didn't run away and get lost." "He got out because..." "Because I kind of let him out." "It was you?" "Mom and Dad told me it was the pizza delivery guy." "I haven't eaten pizza in, like, eight years." "Don't be mad. I was 5." "I wanted to take Willie for a walk, and he wanted to go for a run." "You're saying you feel guilty?" "Rarely, but yes." "All right." "Hey, buddy." "That's a good boy." "Oh, he just did that thing with his nose like Willie did." "Do you like your new home, boy?" "He can nod." "Thanks, Alex." "He's awesome." " l love a good lunch rush." " Me too." "I just wish everyone wouldn't show up at once." "What's that?" "A dog." "Just a dog." "Yeah, what's it doing here?" "I found it wandering alone in Waverly Place." "Lonely, looking for a home." "Looking for a half-Latino family." "It's destiny." "We have to keep him." "Hey, buddy." "How you doing, boy?" " Good boy." "Speak." " No, don't speak." "Don't speak." " Why not?" " Because if he speaks, there'll be fire." " What?" " What?" "What Max is trying to say, is that he's saving his voice for those barking-dog albums." "He does a mean Bon Jovi." "Well, see, he's multi-talented." "I think we should keep him, Theresa." "Oh, we can't keep a lost dog." "Someone's probably out of their mind looking for him." "Oh, that is so true." "You're right, Mom." "And we should probably put fliers up in the city so we can find its rightful owner." "Really?" "But he's so cute." "Come on, Alex." "You pick now to be responsible?" "Absolutely." "We'll scour the city for the owner." "And on the off chance that we come up short, only then can we keep the dog." "That's very mature, Alex." "I'm proud of you." "Oh, so that's been your plan all along, huh?" "Play with my fragile heart and then crush it?" "What happens if the rightful dog owner comes along and sees the lost-dog sign?" "No one's gonna claim it, because it's not lost or a dog." "And you're the smart one?" "You're right. I'm sorry." "I'm just a little panicked over what happened with Willie." "Let it go. I was 5." "As long as he's here, what should we call it?" "Oh, I know, here's an idea." "Spot." "No, wait, Paws." "Patches." "I think we should call it Dragon." " What?" "Why would we call it that?" " Yeah, why?" "Because it's a dragon." "I swear I didn't say anything." "Its name is right here on its tag." "Its name is Dragon." "The name Dragon is on its tag." "I love the name Dragon." "Good eye, Mom." "It's like it was meant to be." "Okay, let's talk about something else now." "Hey, Charlie, can I hang one of these found-dog signs on your stand?" "What's in it for me, sweetheart?" "Where's Charlie?" "Let's just say Charlie went to the bank to get the candy he owes me." "And by "candy," l mean money." "Yeah, I kind of figured that when you said "bank."" "Can I hang one of these signs on your stand?" "I'll give you a Bronxstrami Swiss on rye." "How about a Bronxstrami Swiss and a kiss?" "How about a Bronxstrami Swiss and a bowl of soup?" "Cup of soup, foot-long, no cheaping out on the cheese." "And a meaningful hug." "No hug." "Done." "You'll come around." "They always do." "Well, I don't know who they are, but I'm not one of them." "He's just like Willie." "He likes dog treats, squeak toys and toilet water." "He ate a squeak toy." "That's okay, Dragon." "You're still the best." "Oh, let me get a picture of you, boy." "Sit." "This will go great in the activities chapter of the photo album I'm putting together." "Cute pup." "What's his name?" "Dragon." "Not because he is a dragon." "No, because there's no such thing as dragons." "I should stop talking." " Does he fetch?" " No, he doesn't fetch." " You probably don't want to do that." " Go get it, Dragon." "Were those wings?" "Oh, yeah, good one, Frankie." " A dog with wings." " Yeah." "Dragon is just like Michael Jordan." "Every once in a while, a superstar comes along and elevates the whole game." " Why is it burnt?" " lt's not burnt." "It's just like toast." "You just brush off all the black stuff, and it's good as new, see?" "All right. lt works for now." "But something doesn't smell right on Waverly Place." "You leave the borough, you check in with me." "That was a close call." "We gotta train Dragon to act like a normal dog." "Oh, there's a cat." "Go get him." "Not you, Dragon." "All right." "Hey." "Stay down." "He did it." "But it was kind of cooler when he would" "Don't say F-L-Y around him." "F-L-Y?" "Oh, fly." " Fly." " Boy, it's so hot out here." "Fly." "Fly." " What?" " Oh, nothing." "Said there's a lot of flies out here." " Where?" " Not up there, I meant ants." "Flying ants." "I hate ants." "You know, there was this one time your father fell asleep with a Danish on his chest, and in the morning" "We know, we know, he had an ant beard." "Go, go." " Fly, fly." " Go get the ant spray." "Man, we are lucky that the word "fly" came up a lot in conversation." "Please tell me that was slobber." "Okay." "That was slobber." "Come on, guys." "We gotta go check on Dragon." "Yeah, we've never left him home alone before." "Hey, guys, I'm sure he's just fine." "And if anyone messed with him, he'd just breathe fire." " Yeah, that's what we're worried about." " What?" "I thought we just didn't want him to take leaks in the house." "Hey, guys." "Gotta go check on Dragon." " Wait, Justin." " Justin." " l'll go tell him." " What's the matter?" "Those fliers you put up worked." "Dragon's rightful owner came by and picked him up while you kids were at school." "What rightful owner?" "Hey, guys." "Where's Dragon?" "His owner claimed him." " His owner?" " Honey, I'm so sorry." "I know how much you loved him." "He's gone?" "There's so much we didn't get to do." "Justin, I'm sorry." "Thanks a lot." "This is why I didn't wanna get close to another dog." "You did it to me again." "You lost your found dog?" "Why don't you rest your head on Frankie's shoulder and tell him all about it?" "I would, but I don't have time for you to get a ladder." "This is serious." "Someone claimed Dragon." "But whoever it was wasn't the real owner." "That's weird, because he looked like a dog lover." "You saw him?" "Who was he?" "You got a meatball sub with my name on it?" "I'll give you the bread now and you'll get your meatballs after we find the dog-napper." "The guy came out with your dog and bought this." "A program for the Hudson Dog Show." "The Hudson Dog Show?" "When is it?" "Why don't you buy a copy and find out?" "I have to buy it?" "Do I come into your restaurant, lick a sandwich and leave?" "Zinger!" "That'll be $8, please." "Okay." "It's today." "I'd like to return this for a refund." "Zinger!" "May I help you?" "Yeah, can I get a hound of corned beef." " l'm sorry, did you say "hound"?" " No." "Man, everything reminds me of Dragon." " Everything." " That's rough." ""Rough."" "That's what he used to say." " A pound of corned beef coming up." " Thank you." "Max, can you go in the back and grab some more to-go pups?" " "Pups"?" " No." "To-go cups." "All he can think about is Dragon." "Justin, Max, you're coming with me." "We're getting Dragon back." " Dad, we're taking our lunch break." " Come on, guys." "Hurry." ""Furry." He was so furry." "I miss him." " Three tickets for the dog show, please." " lt's sold out." " What?" " Apparently, a lot of people like watching dogs run around on plastic grass." "No dog, no way in." "Large fries." "See if there's a toy included." "Over." "Alex will talk us in." "She's a master." "I totally understand." "Come on, guys, it's not happening." "What?" "That's it?" "We're not getting my dog back?" "Of course we're getting your dog back." "We just need to get a dog first." "Where are we gonna find a dog without an owner?" "It worked." "We're in." " Let's get Max." " Okay." "Okay." "Huminoza espinoza" "Being a dog is weird." "All you wanna do is just chase your tail." "I don't think I got the spell quite right." "What makes you say that?" "I can still smell everything." "Half of it I wanna put in my mouth." " Look." "There he is." " Dragon?" "And the dragon seller." "He stole Dragon back." " He's a con wizard." " Come on, let's go get Dragon." "Hey, you're a thief." "You sold us that dog and then stole it back." "It's the circle of life, children." "We want our dog back." "Look, kid, you played the game and you lost." "You know what?" "You go home, and the money you spent on the dog was a lesson well learned." "You're welcome." "No deal." "We're taking Dragon home." "I don't think so." "Look, he's gone." "Oh, he's not gone." "He's still here. I can smell him." "All we have to do is get Max to smell the beagles." "How do you know he's still a beagle?" "I changed him from a dragon into a beagle, I can change him into any dog that I want." "I can change him into a terrier mix, into an Irish bloodhound, or to whatever that is." "Oh, it's not that." "That is a rat with a blow-dry." "Max, can you sniff out Dragon?" "I can try." "Nope." "Not this one." "Oh, definitely not this one." "Are you through, freak?" "Bob, bring around the security trailer." "I got a sniffer." "Great, how are we gonna find Dragon now?" "Our sniffer just got thrown in dog-show jail." "Oh, I know." "Dragons don't chase cats." "If we had a cat, all the dogs would go wild chasing it, except for Dragon." "I'm on it. I'll change myself into a cat." " But you always mess up the spell." " Do you have a better idea?" "Didn't think so." "Animoza espinoza" "How do I look?" "Cute, huh?" " Oh, a tiger!" " Tiger?" "is that a tiger?" "I think you messed up the spell again." "Oh, no. I'm the tiger." "I gotta get that spell right." "Bob, bring the catnip." "All of it." "Make sure I get extra ketchup." "Bob?" "Bob?" "Dragon." "Oh, good boy." "Okay, I left him a beagle, and you found him." "Good work, Velma and Shaggy." "Come on." "That's scary." " l still know it's you, kid." " lt's worth a shot." "Huminoza espinoza" "Would you like to excuse yourself to a litter box?" "We're kind of busy." "You know, I'd like to stay and chat, but I've got a dog here I have to sell." "Again and again and again." "Not so fast." "Look, you were right before." "We've learned our lesson." "No hard feelings." "I have hard feelings." "We're just kids, and we should probably thank someone like you for giving us street smarts and making us more cautious with future purchases." "Yeah. I am a pretty good teacher." "So thank you, and have a good day." "But don't forget your cage." "You know, I never thought I would say this to a customer, but it has been a pleasure scamming you." "What are you doing?" "You let him get away with Dragon." "You're right. I'm sorry." "Now all you have is" " Dragon." " Dragon." "Alex, how did you do that?" "I just made him take the wrong cage, like I do with you guys and our lunches." "But who'd he take?" "The blow-dried rat." "I saw the cage right there, I thought on my feet, and I out-conned the con wizard." "I'm good." "Hairball." "Yeah, you're just that good." "So Dragon is really a dragon?" "Amazing." "Actually, there are a lot of secret dragons." "No, that in a family of wizards, I didn't see that coming." "Stupid, stupid, stupid." " So can we keep him?" " Oh, I don't know, honey." "Max will feed him every day, and Justin will give him a bath and walk him." "What will you do?" "I'm doing it." "I'm coordinating what you guys do." "Actually, pets do teach responsibility." "Jerry, you leave wet towels on the bed every day." "Fine, I'll air-dry." "Can we keep him?" "Well, I don't see what harm he could do." "Come on, Dragon, let's go up to my room." "Man." "This time, Jerry, you can blame a dog." "This time."