"You worked for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times." "and you want to work here?" "I'm interested in all things Beacon." "Why do you keep calling me?" "It would be a shame to see you throw your career away chasing Bigfoot." "Did you forget something?" "I have been working with experiencers for almost six months." "I'm not here to talk about my experience, Ozzie." " What's that noise?" " Oh, that's music." "Humans like listening to it." "It relaxes them, makes them dance, make 'em feel good." "It's a good feeling." "Sounds like the wail of a dying animal." "You are special." "Bull... shit." "What'd she say?" "These accent pillows are 20% off the regular price, right?" "Yes. $27.85." "Would you like any information about the Crockery Hutch credit card today?" " No, thanks." " Okay." "You know what?" "I don't need a bag." "Oh, no, it's fine." "I got it." "Sweet mother of pearl!" "All right, Abraham." "You be good." "Don't order a bunch of room service." "Hey, Glen." "Uh, this ought to cover me through next month." "Whoa." "Really putting down roots." "Yeah." "You know, maybe I'll start using the pool." "We're draining it tomorrow." "Little kid threw up in it." "Good to know." "Hey, Albert." "What's it gonna be today?" "Smooth jazz or... smooth jazz?" "I bet ya miss your old job." "I made you a wheat grass and beef collagen drink." "I want nothing to do with that." " Don't smell it, just chug it." " Mnh-mnh." " You're my guy." " Mnh-mnh." "Mnh-mnh." " You're my guy, yes, you are." " Mnh-mnh." "You're a big strong boy!" "Mmm!" "So, how'd it taste?" "Blech!" "I don't miss it at all." "You have a call with the Austrian distributors at 10:30, editorial meeting at 11:00, followed by lunch with the Met's artistic director at Per Se." "We're going to have to cancel all of it." "They'd like you to get a doughnut." "A doughnut?" "I don't want to get a doughnut." "I'm not supposed to have a doughnut for six months." "They'd like you to have one now." "Shit." "Hi." "I'll have a gluten-free maple bacon scone and a cup of earl grey chai tea with lemon and milk." "Have a seat, Jonathan." "Someone got a haircut." "We've had some complaints about your performance." "That it's too good?" " Ennis!" " Sorry to bother you at work." "Ennis, we talked about this." "I'm Crockery Hutch Gina until 7:30 P.M." "I know." "But my kid drew this in school." "That is a picture of me and my family and a spaceship, and I'm being taken away, screaming, "Noooo!"" "Yeah, that's an accurate description of what this is." "But maybe it's more appropriate to talk about this tonight at group, okay?" "And Ennis, remember, we talked about not bringing food into the Crockery Hutch." "I know." "I don't listen." "I'm a nervous eater." "I'm not even hungry." "I don't know what to do." "Can I maybe just... stay here five more minutes?" "Sure, Ennis." "Five minutes." "Thanks, Gina." "You're really nice." "_" "I'm not here to be nice." " I'm not here to hold your hand." " _" "I am here to help you face your fear." "So, I want you to put down the tissues," "I want you to stand up, and I want you to say it." "I-I can't say it." "Then sing it." "Yeah, let's try singing it." "Why not?" "What is your fear?" "Sing it to me." "♪ I am not my father ♪" "Good!" "I know it's not rational." "I'm just afraid of putting the weight back on." "Give me your hand." "Ohh... there you go." "No, it... it's melting." "Mnh-mnh." "It's not just the butter that is melting." "It's your fear." "Okay?" "She thinks I'm selfish, just because I won't go skydiving with her." "Brian, wake up!" " Who went horseback riding with you?" " She did." "Who roasted hops for your homemade beer?" " She did." " Isn't it time for you to do something that she wants to do?" "But she wants me to jump out of a plane." "Right, jump out of a plane or jump out of your relationship." " That's like 30,000..." " Are you willing to take a chance?" " It's about taking chances." " All I'm s..." "And you will live by being in your relationship." "We're out of time." "I'm so sorry." "What?" "I said, "Ennis, your five minutes are up."" " It's actually been longer." " I know, I know." "Sorry." "I'll see you tonight, okay?" "And, please, take your pretzel with you." "Okay, okay, okay." "How are things lately, Jonathan?" "Any hiccups?" "Bumps?" "Not that I'm aware of." "Subject #28409, Ozzie Graham." "I'm hearing there's a wrinkle?" "Oh, I don't know if it rises to the level of a wrinkle." "Um, it's complicated." "Mm-hmm." "Gotcha." "You know what else is complicated?" "Traveling light-years to an inhabited planet, hiding among their dominant species for two centuries, and subverting them from within." " The whole reptilian deal." " The whole reptilian deal." "Right." "Does allowing a highly-valued asset to recover his memory and join an alien abduction support group help that plan or hurt it?" " Well, I think it depends." " It hurts it." "Hurts it." "It hurts it." "As evidenced by Kurt's untimely death in the field." "Oh, Kurt." "That was... so sad... and tr-tragic." "He was one of the good ones." "So, I'm curious." "What steps are you going to take to mitigate the situation?" "Well, I know 28409." "I know his psychology, and I know what'll get him out of Beacon." " Me." " You?" "Yes, he hates me." "I'm like his kryptonite." " I don't know what that is." " The point is, I'm on it." "Good!" "Because if you can't handle it, we will." "No, I can handle it." "We are good." "You ratted me out, you bug-eyed little prick!" "John, you sound upset." "Did you have a bad doughnut?" "I knew it was you." "Is this about Kurt?" "Oh, I don't know." "Let me ask him." "Oh, I can't, because he's dead!" " Hey, that's on him." " I'd love to chat, but I have to go and do all my dead friend's work." "Oh, and one more thing." "Eat shit!" "Ha ha." "Brian, you can do this!" "I-I can't do it!" "Look, I'll do something else!" "I'll do anything else!" "You can do it, and you will do it, because I believe in you and you believe in your relationship!" "Trust me." "Without risk, there can be no reward." "So, jump!" "Jump, Brian." "_" "_" "What have you got there?" "It's a train." "My grandma gave it to me." "Ozzie!" "Oz-man!" "Wizard of Oz!" "Long time no see!" "Jonathan, what are you doing here?" "No!" "Hey." "These buildings are so old." "And look at the sky... it's so long!" "I can see why you love it here." "Just out of curiosity, if a New York media executive was thinking about buying a summer home here, what area would he want to be in?" " What New York media exec..." " Ozzie!" " You mean you?" " Hey, Ozzie!" "Do you know these guys who are waving and yelling your name?" "No, they probably think I'm that dude from Hamilton." "Happens a lot." "Ozzie Graham!" "Get in here, ya big goof!" "What, do you got, potato in your ears?" "We've been calling your name the whole time." "Yeah, I... just heard you guys." " Like just now." " Huh." "Oh, hey, who's your friend?" "Is he an athlete?" "Ah!" "Jonathan Walsh, Glint Enterprises." "I'm Ozzie's old boss." "Richard Schultz, Junior V.P. at Glentech Manufacturing." " We make the..." " ..." "The little jacks, at the end of the cord, that gets you on the Internet." "Cat 5, USB." "You guys make it all possible!" " Yeah, we do." " Wow!" "Gerry Johnson." "Tollbooth." "And Ozzie's best friend." "Whoa, wait a minute, Gerry." "I thought I was Ozzie's best friend." "Ha ha, you're both wrong." "It's actually a guy named Dwayne." "He lives in D.C. We've known each other since kindergarten." " Dwayne!" " Ha!" "Dwayne what a name." "So, uh, how do you guys all know each other?" "Uh, we should get going." " Let's go." " Okay." " We're grabbing lunch." " Good to meet ya!" "Wow." "I-I don't know what it is." "I like that guy." "He has a nice, firm handshake." "He doesn't seem off to you?" "Gerry, I'm a very good judge of character." "That guy... is all right." "Hi, Gina!" "Hi!" "Margaret." "You scared me." "Oh, I didn't mean to scare you." "You okay, honey?" "You look like something's bothering you." "Oh, uh, yeah." "No, I'm fine." "I had a bit of a breakthrough." "I put butter on my toast this morning." "I did not eat it, but I was okay being around it." "Is this a bad time?" "Should... should I reschedule?" "Wow, you sure packed a lot of stuff in there." "Thanks." "You too." "What, uh, what do you want?" "I mean, I'm sorry." "How are you?" "Oh, well... this'll be quick." "I'm struggling with the emptiness of my life." "And I need to buy a throw pillow." "Okay, um... well, uh, let's find you a throw pillow." " Good." " Um, I think the... emptiness thing is gonna take a little more attention." "We should probably deal with it tonight in group." "Something that goes with my eyes, maybe?" " OK, so a blue pillow?" " Yeah, or stripes." "Hey, I got to run in here for a minute." " A funeral home?" " Yeah, I need to... pick up some info on the obituaries for something I'm working on." "I'm gonna take a while, probably, so you can just go on without me." "Oh, no, I'm all good!" "I got a call to make." " I'll be here when you get out." " Hey, do you have a  back door in this place?" "No, why?" "What's going on?" "It's my old boss." "He followed me up here to Beacon to take me to lunch." "I've been trying to ditch him, but he won't take the hint." "Dude, you literally just described being a woman." "Welcome to my world." "He's definitely in the group." "By the end of the day, I promise you, he won't be." "Let's see." "Hmm, not bad." "Looks like Magic Mike's business manager." "He's walking around here, talking about he wants to buy some property in Beacon." "Mm, sounds like he might be in love with you." " What?" " Just saying." "That'd be really hot." "Also, get me anything you can find on a Gerry Johnson." "I could sense he didn't like me." "Let's make sure he's not a thought leader in the community." "Good." "I can't eat that." "I can't eat that." "I can't eat that." "You think they do Paleo here?" "I'm trying to eat like a caveman." "Can I just say how weird all of this is?" "Ozzie, humans have been eating like this for thousands of years." "Not that!" "You just show up to my office all of a sudden, like," ""Hey, it's me, Jonathan Walsh!"" " Are you in love with me?" " Whoa!" "Somebody thinks a little highly of himself, huh?" "Okay, I've been working on this for a few months, but I can tell you now." "I bought the Beacon Gazette." "Like a... copy?" "Or the whole thing?" "No, the whole thing." "Anyway, the Beacon plan is this." "We streamline it, we modernize it, and then we make it profitable." "It's a win-win." "So, you mean to tell me you bought the Beacon Gazette 'cause you're in it for the betterment of small-town media?" "Yeah, yeah." "I care about small-town media." "It's a big thing for me." "You don't seem excited!" "The Beacon Gazette's an institution." "It's been with the same family for over 100 years." "They're not gonna sell it to some rich lacrosse player who wants to be a newspaper mogul." "Thank you, Jonathan!" "Thank you." "No." "Look at them all." "It was like a third-world country in here three hours ago." "Now look at it." "Ahh." "Hey, Ozzie!" "Look how big this phone is!" "Ohh, that's not a phone." "What's his deal?" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "You are special." "Bull... shit." "What'd she say?" "I think she said "bullshit."" "What is this?" " I don't want to..." " The attitude, oh, my God." " I'm trying to do my job, all right?" " It's... it's cool." "Go back to sleep." " Hey, can I ask you a question?" " Yeah, about what?" "That." "Anything in particular?" "I wanted to pick your brain." "Do you know a lot about aliens?" "Uh, yeah." "You're looking at the foremost alientologist in Beacon." "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" "I think you and I could put that expertise to use." "That went very well." "No, Nancy, that went awesome." "How do you know he'll stay away?" "I knew he wouldn't stand for this." "He's a principled guy." "It's what I've always liked about him." "Are you a lizard, or are you a man?" "I like to think I'm the best of both worlds." "Running away from Walsh again, huh?" "Leave me alone!" "Sorry, can't do that, buddy." " So, where are we going?" " We?" "Yeah, you can't run away from me." "I go wherever you go." "I'm the fly in your soup." "I'm your brother from another doe." "No." "You are not in the bathroom." "You are not in the bathroom." "Still here, buddy!" "So, where are we headed?" "I would like to start... by reminding everyone how valuable it is to talk things out." "That's what this group is for." "This is a safe space." "No one's gonna push you to do or to say... anything that you don't want to." "Now, who has something that they would like to share?" "I might have something to share." "Ozzie." "Join us, please." "Go ahead." "I've been having déjà vu." "Okay." "And I just had an argument with a deer." "That's great, buddy." " That's the reptiles." " Very normal." " If they're in your head, get 'em out." " It's gonna be okay." "That's the first thing that happens." "Then they steal your ovaries." "Did you say "steal ovaries"?" " Morning, Jonathan." " Jesus, Nancy." " You're so silent." " I think your plan worked." "Looks like he's not coming in today." " Should we hire his replacement?" " What?" "No!" "No, I'm selling this place." "The real estate's worth more than the business." "Albert, how's it going?" "Ozzie, good." "Can you..." "I can't get this thing to work." "Sure, let me have a look." "Oh, well you locked it, silly." " There you go." " Whoa!" "It's a radio, too." "Yeah." "And after work, I'll show you how the calculator works." "So, you're sticking around, huh?" "Yeah, you know me." "I'm a company man." "Love to sit and chat, but... new boss is kind of a tool." "Ha ha!" "Ha, that's a good one." "I see what you did there." "We're vibing, right?" "Well, I'll just be in my..." "Yeah." "Best buds for life!" "Hey." "Hey, it's Ozzie." "I got a favor to ask of you." "You remember when Jonathan Walsh e-mailed you his entire contact list by mistake?" "Can you send that to me?" "Thanks." "Huh?" "Oh, yeah!" "Rehab's going great."