"Help!" "Starring those seven rollicking rescuers:" "The Anthill Mob, their courageous car, Chug-a-Boom... and that villain of villains, The Hooded Claw." "Penelope Pitstop, heiress to a vast fortune, is in perpetual peril... from her fortune-seeking guardian, Sylvester Sneekly... who, unknown to her, is really The Hooded Claw." "But foiling this fiend's foul plots are Penelope's ever-present protectors:" "The Anthill Mob." "I'll get you, Penelope Pitstop." "When we last saw Penelope... she had gone to San Francisco's Chinatown... to see the Chinese New Year's parade... but instead was captured by the Chinese New Year's dragon... driven by none other than..." "Me." "The hooded dragon driver." "What's your scoundrelious scheme this time, Claw?" "I suppose you've noticed you're tied up and stuffed... in the mouth of this dragon." "I've noticed." "Well, notice, too, when the dragon rolls down the hill... you'll crash into a warehouse full of Chinese fireworks... and then the dragon's fire breathing flame... will cause the fireworks to go boom, boom!" "And you'll get your dazzling doom doom!" "Don't count your little old fireworks before they're fired, you fiend." "I won't!" "But I will count the pits, Pitstop, when they do." "Ta-ta!" "Oh, no!" "Is Penelope doomed to go boom, boom?" "Penelope's going to go boom, boom." "Oh, no, she's not." "'Cause we're going to douse that fire-breathing dragon's fire." "Quick, Pockets, make with a bucket of water." "I haven't got a bucket of water, Clyde, but I do have a tub with a shower." "All right, everybody into the tub." "I feel silly, Clyde." "That's 'cause you're stupid." "Now take off that shower cap!" "Don't worry, Penelope." "We'll save you." "I must say, The Anthill Mob is a girl's best friend." "Okay, Pockets." "Turn on the shower, and squirt out that fire." "Right, Clyde." "Don't worry, Clyde." "I'll plug it up." "Well, what do you know?" "That dum-dum did it." "I'll plug him up, Clyde." "I'll plug him up." "Oh, no!" "Those goof-ups are goofed up on the top of a bathtub geyser." "Now what have you guys got to say?" "Welcome to Chinatown, Clyde." "Oh, brother!" ""Oh, brother"is right!" "Because that fire-breathing dragon... has almost reached that fireworks warehouse." "Kind of gives you a lump in the throat, don't it?" "From laughing, that is." "Penelope's a goner, Clyde." "Not if we turn that dragon around." " Zip to it, Zippy." " Right, Clyde." "Nice going, guys!" "You turned the dragon around." "Now it's going to crash into us." "Eek!" ""Eek" yourself!" "Get us out of here!" "Quick, Chug-a-Boom, off your rear tire, and after her!" "I might as well enjoy the little old dragon ride." "I'm certainly not in any danger." "Look, Clyde." "The Chinese dragon is going to crash into that cable car." "Quick, Bully Brothers... when that cable car reaches the turntable at the end of the block... turn it back towards the fireworks warehouse." "Right, Claw." "End of the line, Penelope." "Turnabout is foul play." "Pleasant journey, Miss Penelope." "Bye-bye." "Hey, that looked like Penelope." "It was!" "Quick, you guys." "About face!" "Those stumble-bumblers will never reach our Penelope in time." "She's going to crash into the warehouse any second now." "In that case, I'm going to chew a little old piece of bubblegum." "How can you think of bubblegum at a time like this?" "'Cause it tastes good, and besides, I've got a plan." "Watch." "Blowing a giant bubblegum bubble is a plan?" "Let's hope it works." "I got you, Penelope." "I'm safe!" "I'm still safe!" "Yeah, but you ruined your bubblegum, Penelope." "Blast!" "I'll teach them to gum up the works." "We're stuck in this gum for life." "I'll go get a policeman to help me free you." "You rang for police?" "Charlie Chin at your honorable service." "Oh, not Charlie Chin, the world-famous Chinese detective?" "Very same." "Also, have pleasure to introduce number one and number two dummy-sans." "See what I mean?" "Mr. Chin, I was wondering if you and your little old dummy-sans... could give me a little old hand?" "Do better than that." "Give you six hands... and one-way ride in rickshaw." "Chop, chop!" "Hey, what's that Charlie Chin up to?" "Charlie Chin not up to nothing." "But I'm up to my old, dirty tricks again!" "The Hooded Claw!" "Yes, The Hooded Claw!" "What's that rickshaw renegade got planned for Penelope now?" "A boat trip on a Chinese junk?" "No." "More like a one-way trip to the bottom of the Bay... on a Chinese anchor." "This isn't very diabolical, you fiend!" "But there's more." "If you'll notice, Pitstop, the rope that holds the anchor... is also wound around the anchor winch... and wound around the top of the winch, is a fishing line." "When the fish takes the bait, it'll unwind the winch... and lower you to your watery finish." "Now, that's what I call diabolical." "Meanwhile, our bubblegum benefactors have unstuck themselves... and are hot on Penelope's trail." "We'll never find her." "Yes, we will." "Just keep your eyes open." "That includes you, you snoring Snoozy!" "You're driving!" "I see her, Clyde." "I see her!" "She's tied to an anchor!" "An anchor she's tied to!" "Quick, step on it!" "Hey, Chug-a-Boom, come back here!" "That'll be $72.70." "But we're broke!" "Then you'll work it off." "So, while Penelope dangles helplessly over the Bay... waiting for a fish to finish her... those ding-a-lings are doing their darnedest... to finish up in the restaurant." "Okay, Snoozy, take them away." "May I help youse?" "Do you serve crabs here?" "Yeah, we serve anyone!" "Have a couple of seats." "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" "The backstroke!" "Speaking of backstrokes, Penelope just had a stroke of bad luck... for a hungry halibut just took the bait... and is unwinding the winch." "And to think, fishing is my favorite little old sport." "Mine, too, Pitstop." "I wouldn't laugh yet, Claw... 'cause The Anthill Mob is just about wrapped up in the restaurant." "Get out." "Please, get out." "But we're not through yet." "We gotta clean up the mess first." " Get zipping, Zippy." " Right, Clyde." "There." "Clean as a whistle." "It's about time you jokers got back to the rescue." "Hurry, fellows, hurry!" "Sea duty, Chug." "We'll never reach her in time." "We need more speed." "More speed, coming up." "More speed, indeed... for that hungry halibut has just unwound the anchor." "Looks like I'm gonna have to hold my little old breath for a spell." "You're too late this time, you little fools." "Quick, you fools!" "Submerge!" "This clam's clammed up for good." "I'll open it with a funny joke." "You witnit, you are a funny joke!" "But anything's worth a try." "What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?" "I don't know." "Time to get a new fence!" "Blast!" "I didn't think it was that funny." "So having rescued Penelope... our heroes return to Chinatown to await the parade." "But awaiting above in his foul flying machine... is The Hooded Claw with an iron claw ready to grab Penelope." "All right, Bully Brothers, lower the claw." "Right, Claw." "Not me, you idiots." "The other one!" "Blast!" "You hooked those clowns by mistake." " What will we do with them, Claw?" " Drop them in the circus, what else?" "Hey, what the..." "What's so funny, you giggling gooney bird?" "We're gonna crash in the lion's cage!" "It's lucky that the cage was empty, Clyde." "Hurry, Chug-a!" "The little old Anthill Mob is in jeopardy!" "The lion finally stopped chasing us, Clyde." "So what?" "Now we're in a worse stew." "You mean we are the stew!" "And not bad, either." "Don't get overcooked, fellas." "Here we come!" "You should be ashamed of yourself." "Thanks, Penelope." "You saved us!" "But who's going to save her?" "Oh, no!" "Oh, yes!" "That hooded pachyderm pirate has struck again." "What misfortune awaits our Penelope in this fortune cookie factory?" "Fortune cookies, what else?" "As you know, Pitstop, you're tied up snugly... inside that batch of fortune cookie batter." "When the batter reaches the roller, it will flatten you." "Then the automatic cookie cutters will cut you to cookie size." "And then, my dear, you will be baked... into about 23 crispy, crunchy, little, bitty fortune cookies." "You fiend!" "At least you could have made it an even two dozen." "Is Penelope's future to end up a plateful of fortune cookies... in a Chinese restaurant?" "Or can those soldiers of fortune head off her unfortunate fate?" "We're too late." "Penelope's going to be flattened like a flounder." "I'll save her, Clyde." "I'll save her!" " Thanks, Zippy." " You're welcome, Penelope." "Nice going, Zippy." "You saved her from being flattened." "It was nothing, Clyde." "I know it was nothing, you zipwit, 'cause you left her there... and now she's going to be cut into 23 cookies!" "I still wish it was an even two dozen." "There's only one way to save her... and that's with a basketball, chopsticks, and a yo-yo." "A basketball, chopsticks, and a yo-yo?" "A basketball, chopsticks, and a yo-yo?" "Even I gotta see this." "Okay, Pockets, shoot that basketball and make it good!" "Here it goes, Clyde." "I got you, Penelope." "I'm saved!" "Foul!" "I say, foul!" "Everyone knows a basketball isn't heavy enough... to bounce her into the air." "Just as I thought." "They cheated!" "It's made of lead." "I'm going to be cut into cookies!" "Quick, Bully Brothers!" "Switch the machine to reverse." "Right, Claw." "Thought I was going to get it, didn't you?" "So a happy Chinese New Year's it is... as Penelope and The Anthill Mob enjoy the parade." "But what happened to The Hooded Claw?" "What do you think happened to me, wise guy?" "I got flattened like a pancake." "But as soon as I'm back in shape..." "I'm going to put that Pitstop out of shape for good!" "Help!" "I'll get you, Penelope Pitstop."