" Wa-cha!" "Hiyah!" "Male announcer:" "And now" "Dreamworks' kung fu panda:" "Legends of awesomeness." " [grunts] [gong rings]" "¶ hear the legends of the kung fu panda ¶ [scatting]" "¶ raised in a noodle shop ¶" "¶ never seeking glory or fame ¶" "¶ he climbed the mountaintop ¶" "¶ and earned the dragon warrior name ¶" "Ooh!" "Ahh!" "Yah!" "¶ kung fu panda [scatting]" "¶ master shifu saw the warrior blossom ¶" "¶ and master the skills of bodacious and awesome ¶" "¶ kung fu panda [scatting]" "¶ he lives and he trains and he fights ¶" "¶ with the furious five" "¶ protect the valley, something, something ¶" "¶ something, something alive ¶" "Ooh!" "Ahh!" "Uh!" "¶ kung fu panda" "¶ legends of awesomeness" "Sweet!" " You ready to do this?" " Oh, I was born read--ah!" "Hold on." "Ahh!" "Just a sec." "Okay." "I'm..." "Good." "Both:" "Stilt fu!" " [yelps]" "Oof!" "[yells]" " Unguarded moment!" " Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" " Hiya-- [quivers]" " I call that pillars of the ouch." " [quivering] good name." " Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Hey, you two!" "You're supposed to be stilt-walking ads for my shop." "I'm not paying you to mess around." " You're not paying us at all." " Good thing too." " Still not sure how guys on stilts" "Help advertise noodles." " It's how the restaurant business works." "Now stilt-walk, you monkey." " [grunts] [strains]" "Well, I may be stuck here, but at least I've got a nice view." "There's the jade palace..." "And the bamboo forest..." "And a cute girl, an old dude, some bandits." "Both:" "Bandits!" " [kung fu shout]" " Shakaboo-- ahh!" " Oh, please, we have no valuables." " Yeah?" "What do you call this?" " Don't touch that." " You heard the lady." "Ha!" " Yah!" " Wow, she's even cuter close up." " [growls]" "Yah!" " Uhh!" " Hiyah!" " Wah!" " Agh!" "[both growling]" " Ha!" " Whoa." "Flying goat surprise." " Cute and knows kung fu?" " A little." "Don't mess with the goat girl." "Seriously, don't!" " Whoa, whoa, I'm not a band" " I'm just kidding." "No, I'm not!" " Oof!" " Mess with the goat, you get the hooves." "[romantic music]" "¶" " You all right?" " Uh..." "My palms are sweating," "My heart is racing, and I'm tingly all over." "I think she got me" "With the cloven-hooved, exploding head technique." " Uh, cloven-hooved, exploding head technique" "Actually explodes your head." "I think maybe you're in love." " Love?" "Pfft." "[chuckles] no way." "Not this pa" "Did my head just explode?" "I can't feel my face." "Oh, wait, there it is, on my face." " My daughter and I can't thank you enough" "For helping us in our time of need." "Lu-shi is to be married tomorrow." " Marr--I see." "[chuckles]" "Lucky guy." "Anyone I know?" " Well, I never even met him." " Ah, it's one of those arranged dealios." " Yeah, pretty stoked about it." "He's called "the dragon warrior."" "[explosion]" "Head definitely exploded." " We arranged the marriage years ago, po." "You and lu-shi were just babies." " Kind of a big deal." "Seems like something a guy tells his son." " Well, back then, money was tight," "And dishes were very expensive." "I couldn't afford to keep replacing them." " Mu-shi the potter offered to keep me fat with dishware" "If I agreed that one day you would marry his daughter." "[humming happily]" " So you traded him for plates?" " And bowls." "That's how the restaurant business works." " Lu-shi, give poe his present." " Yes, sir." "Po, I understand that you like action figures." " [chuckles] yeah, well, I did." "When I was a kid a long time ago." "Not really no-- [squeals]" " I collect them too." " Is that a master shifu?" " The mono-brow variant!" " That's the rarest one there is!" " I know!" "It's yours now." "Or ours if you wanna go through with the" "With the whole marriage thing." " Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "Just so we're clear, you're pretty, funny," "Good at kung fu, you love dumplings," "And you collect action figures?" "I'm getting married!" " What?" "Ow!" " You're kidding, right?" " Meet the future mrs." "Dragon warrior." " Hey, there, furious five." "Worship you." "Totally trying not to spaz." " I know it's kinda sudden." " Except for the "it was arranged" "From when we were babies" part." "[chuckles] [nervous sigh]" "Okay, now I'm spazzing." "Is it wrong to ask you to sign my belly?" " Is this a joke?" " No joke." " Well, looks like somebody gets to plan a wedding." "Can it be me?" "Please say yes!" " Go crazy." "Oh, lu-shi, I'd like you to meet" " Master tigress." "Oh, my--oh, m--oh, my gosh." "[nervous laugh]" "I'm kind of a mega fan." "No, a lot." "Seriously, it's, like, such an honor." " Hang on, you wanna marry him?" " Uh-huh." " Really?" " Whoa, tigress." "Never pegged you for the jealous type." " Jealous?" "You must be kid-- - po." "A word?" " I'll be watching you." " Okay." "I'll tr--I'll try not to look all..." "Ooh!" "Ah, ooh." "Odd." "I'll try not to look odd." " Marriage is a big step, po, and you just met this girl." "Are you sure you're ready?" " Well, we are combining our action figure collections," "So there's that." " Po, if lu-shi is the wife of the dragon warrior," "She will be a kidnap target" "Of every villain and scoundrel in the land." " Wow, I hadn't thought of that." " You'll be putting her in grave danger." "That's why the rules" "Of the sacred onyx shaolin are so specific." " Specific how, specifically?" " You really don't know, do you?" "You'll have to step down as the dragon warrior." " [gasps]" " What?" "Give up being the dragon warrior or give up lu-shi?" "I can't do that." " Which one?" " Either!" "Being dragon warrior is the greatest." "I'd never give that up." "Unless, what if lu-shi is my one shot at happiness?" "I don't wanna wind up old, sad, and alone" "Like my dad or yo-- uh..." "It's just, uh, what's the point of having this awesome life" "If I've got no one to share it with?" " [sighs] it's your decision, po." "No one else can make it for you." " Are you sure?" "'cause I'd really rather" "You just told me what to do, and I'd go along with it." " The dragon warrior follows his heart." "The dragon warrior does not let others make up his mind." " Gah!" " [kung fu shouts]" "Crane wants to meet with us later" "To go over the seating chart and" "Po, are you okay?" " Huh?" "Oh, uh, yeah, yeah." "Sorry." " Hiyah!" "[gasps] you're having second thoughts." " What?" "No way." "Kind of." "I mean, look, meeting you was the most amazing thing" "That's happened to me since" "Since I became the dragon warrior." " Do what your heart tells you, po." "Don't let me sway you." " Oof!" "But it's all happening so fast." " As dragon warrior, you sacrifice so much" "To protect the valley of peace, po." "But to run from true love" "Would be like running from a great battle." "We'd always wonder, what if?" " Huh." "Maybe you're right." " Hmm." " We'll put the bride's guests over here," "But if it's lopsided, we can spread the fight dummies around." " So he's going through with the wedding for sure?" " Not for sure, but don't tell crane," "Or you'll crush his dreams" " No, no, no!" "You're using too many flowers in one spot!" "Spread the blossoms, and spread the... [all shout]" "Joy." " You might wanna reinforce that lattice." " Huh." " Just saying." " I don't wanna spend my life wondering, what if?" "So I'm gonna marry lu-shi" "And give up being the dragon warrior" "Or not do that." " [sighs] po." " I know, right?" "Okay, I've decided." "I'm..." "Getting married." "Unless you think-- - congratulations, panda." "I'm proud of you," "And I wish you all the happiness" "In the world." " Po must really love you to give up being dragon warrior." " Tigress." " I guess you must really love him too." " I..." "Care for po." " Care for him?" "Or using him?" "Hiyah!" "Who is this?" " I-it's not what you-- - oof!" " Walk away, lady." "Totally facing off with master tigress." "So cool!" "Tigress, I don't wanna hurt you." " Trust me, you won't." "[kung fu shouts]" " Tigress, stop!" " Stay out of this, panda." "This is how girls discuss things." " Tigress, I know you've cried your little eyes out" "That you and I aren't together." " What?" " Don't be a hero." "See, there's a tear right th--no." "Wow, do you ever blink?" " [growls]" " Look, what you and I had" "Was just a figment of your imagination." " Had?" " Past tense." "It's a grammar thing." "Look it up." "Lu-shi, are you hurt?" " But, po, she is" " Tigress, stop embarrassing yourself" "With your jealousy jealous behavior." "This is my life, and I need to start living it for me." " Great job fixing the lattice, crane." " Reinforced and ready for action." "Yah!" "No touchies." " Crane, ever think of a second career as a wedding planner?" " No, no, no." "[chuckles]" "Why, you thinking of tying the knot?" " [inhales deeply]" " Po, I-- - don't make a scene, tigress." "I've made my decision, kind of." "And it's the right one." "Possibly." " I just wanted to say I'm sorry." "You were right." " You are jealous." " Y--no!" "No, you--I" "It is your life, po," "And I wish you nothing but the best, friend." " Places, people!" "The sun is casting dappled light on the altar." "Dappled light!" "Move it!" "Ah-- mm-hmm." "[plays cheerful tune]" "¶" " [cries]" " Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today" "To join po and lu-shi, who pretty much just met," "In the sacred bonds of matrimony." "Lu-shi, do you take po as your lawfully wedded husband" "In accordance with the rules" "Governing this quickie marriage ceremony?" " I do." " Uh-huh." "And po, do you, floobity doobity doo," "Lu-shi and renounce being the dragon warrior?" " Po?" " Wuh-oh." " We're losing the dappled light!" " Po?" " Uh, well..." " Po?" " Uh, it's not-- it's not that I don't want to," "But--but--but maybe we should wait and" " Wait?" "We can't wait." "If we don't do this right now, he'll--he'll" " He'll what?" "To who?" "Who's "he"?" " Oh, this is an outrage." "Get on with it!" "Marry my daughter and step down as dragon warrior, you ninny!" " But I-- - enough!" " But I-- - go on!" " I'm just not" " Well, it-- well, it just--that--well-- [laughs] her safety is involved," "And--and her well-being and--and" "Oh, boo." " Junjie!" "[all gasp]" " Oh..." "[gasps] yourselves." "With the dragon warrior gone," "I had intended to finally seize the jade palace for myself." "There, happy?" " Not really." " What?" "Wait." "Lu-shi, you-- you betrayed me?" " Po, I" " You're going down, junjie." " No, not just yet." "The happy couple haven't opened their presents." " [whimpers]" " It was all a lie?" " Yes." "But, po, I had to, you see" " You've said enough, girl." "And now to pay the price for your failure." " Ha!" "None of you are going anywhere." "Take them!" " Wedding brawl!" "Awesome!" "[all shout] [guests scream]" " No, that's a rental!" "[grunting]" " Yah!" " Not the centerpiece!" "Hey!" "[grunting and shouting]" " I so love seeing you with egg on your face, shifu." " Wah!" " Oh, my cake!" " Ooh!" "[groans]" " Well, at least the lattice is still" "Ugh!" "[all groan] [strained grunting]" " We'd love to stay for the reception," "But we have someplace to be." " I'm sorry, po." "I never meant to hurt you." " What's this?" " Junjie's holding him hostage." "That's why I did all of this." " What?" " Uh, po, don't." "There's no point now and" " Is this lu-shi's..." "Boyfriend?" "She has a-a boyfriend?" "There's a boyfriend!" " Panda, snap out of it." "Lu-shi needs you." "If you're not married, you are the dragon warrior." " Yes." "Yes, I am." "And the dragon warrior doesn't let a broken heart" "Get in the way of helping those in need." " We, actually, are in need." " [grunts]" " No, please, junjie." "Let him go!" " I plan to." "Right into the fire." " You said you wouldn't hurt him if I did what you wanted." " Yes, but you failed." "I may be wily and dishonest, but I do keep a promise." " Ha!" " Po!" " Junjie, let lu-shi's..." "Friend go." " Fine." " [gasps]" " No!" " Ha!" "Wa-ta!" "[whimpers] [yelps]" "I can do this." "I can do this." " No, not if I can help it." "I won a medal in stilt fighting years ago." " Ha!" "Whoa!" " Ooh!" "[yelps]" " Ow!" "Ooh!" "[yelps]" " [screams]" " Ha!" " Wa-ta!" "[yelps]" "Huh?" "[screams]" "Oof!" "[sizzles] [screams]" " [gasps]" " [strained grunts]" "Ahh!" " [groans]" " Pillars of the ouch." " [quivering] good n-n-name." "Oof." " Po, save shao!" " [gasps and screams] - gotcha!" " [whimpering]" " Wow." "Those muscles are very defined." " Thanks." "I don't even work out." " Figures." "Whoa!" " [grunts]" " [screams]" "Tigress!" " I was able to get free, just in time, by the looks of it." " You're never gonna give up on us, are you?" "Oof!" " In your dreams, panda." " Shao, you're all right." " [sighs]" " Po, thank you so much for saving my brother." " Your brother?" "Your brother?" "I thought he was your boyfriend." " Gross, bud." " [laughs]" " Oof!" "[chuckles]" " Oh, po." "Maybe now that this is all over..." " [sighs] I can't marry you, lu-shi." "So long as there are evildoers" "Like junjie threatening the valley of peace," "I have to remain the dragon warrior." " Marry me?" "You dork." "We barely know each other." "I was thinking maybe we could just hang out sometime." " Ow!" "Oh, yeah, that'd be cool." "But I gotta warn you," "Somebody might be a little jealous, so, uh--ow!" "There she is now."