"(giggles)" "You're watching Trashbat." "Did you ask yourself why?" "(woman groans orgasmically)" "(Nathan) Trashbat likes to soir馥, and last night was no motherfucking exception." "(♪ Rock)" "That's Dan from "Sugar Ape" magazine, off his cock on emulsion." "And, hey, check out Dajve from NYC." "Turns out she's the cousin of my ugly mate Toby, for fuck's sake." "The "Ratgirl" movie script is close as dusted." "But it's on hold today, for this." "(groans)" "Claire and me are shooting a whacked out look at prostitution, filing with a real whore called Mandy." "It's actually pretty fucking serious." "Not so much a documentary as a shock-you-mentally." "Trashbat out." "Peace and fucking." "Believe." "(beeping)" " Barley UK." " Nathan?" " Clairebabes." " Where are you?" " 0n the bus." " Have you got the camera?" " Yep, sure." " And charged the batteries?" " Juiced overnight." "And guess what?" " What?" " Toby's fixed us a screening at Place." " And?" " It's a pretty prime node." " It's a fucking deadshed." "They premiered that film about Michael Stipe's fridge." " Exactly." "To a bunch of Barnabies." " (Phone rings)" " Look, just take a glide pill, yeah?" " 0h, dive on a fucking spike." " Hey, just chill..." " (Beeping)" "Just chill the fuck out." "If you burn out then you'll..." " Is that Mandy?" " No." " Well, who is it?" " It's Reception." "And?" "Mandy's here." "Are you ill?" "(speed dialling)" "I don't wanna visit you in the nuthouse... (Phone rings)" "Barley UK." "Dan!" "Where are you?" "Hospital?" " Who is this?" " Nathan, you woman." "You just called me." " Why would I do that?" " To tell me you're gay?" " What are you doing, roach?" " En route to the shoot." " What?" " Prosti-shoot?" "We're shooting a toot." "It's a toot shoot." "Probably shoot some toot off the tute's tits." " As in "prossy tits toot"." " Stop." "What about you, you bumhat?" "I'm interviewing an artist - 15Peter20." " He photographs people pissing." " Cool." " No, it's not cool." "He's a prinkle." " Yeah, what a wanker." " I need a haircut." " Yeah?" "What style?" "Greek... pie." " What's a Greek pie?" " I'm going now." " All right, fucksticks." " Go away." "Laters, you greasy cock fart." "(♪ Rap on headphones)" "(man) Morning, sir." "(cat meows)" "Elizabeth." "She say, "Good morning."" " Morning, Elizabeth." " Please." " So..." " Yeah." "I'm in a bit of a hurry." "I'll cut it very short, yes?" "Yes, thanks." " I've been thinking about this." " Yeah?" "All the prostitutes I play should have different accents." "Um..." "And that would be good for my show reel." "Yeah." " Like that Albanian girl?" " Right." "I mean, they're always, like, " 0h, I've got no passport, I'm a junkie, I got AIDS."" "Uh, the thing is, in the film, she's actually been shot." "0h, well, sometimes it's the best way." "All right, grumpy tits?" "You must be Mandy." " Nathan Barley." "All right, my nigger?" " Hey, bitch." " Nathan's helping." " Yeah." "Codirecting, producing, laying the beats and kicking the bum fantastic." "Wow." "Hello." "0oh, you touched me." "You're not gonna charge me for that, are you?" "No, but I might do if you did it again." "0K, uh... 50 quid." "What'd that get me?" "Tenth of a blow job?" "Last tenth?" "You know, where I..." "Nathan, um, can you help Pingu set up?" " Boss thought." " How much do I owe for the coffee?" " It's all right, it's on me, Mands." " 0h, thank you." "Just think of it as a down payment, yeah?" "What, on a wink?" " 0r a rub." " Come on." "(purrs)" "She like you." "Cos Elizabeth, she's a very special cat for me." " Do you know why?" " No." "0ne year ago, wedding anniversary," "I buy her for my wife, Angela." "But she never meet her." "Do you know why?" "No." "Because she die the same day... my wife." "She driving home, and she all smashed up in her car." "It's terrible." "And I stay all night up, hugging that cat and crying like a shit." "And she was licking the tears from my face, and I look at her eyes," "and it's like I look at Angela." "And Angela middle name Elizabeth, so I call that cat Elizabeth." "Now she's my best." "We read magazines, we watch TV, we talk, we enjoy painting." "(phone rings)" "Excuse me, sir." "0ne moment." "Hello." "Yes, I'm fine." "Scene four, fuck five." "(claps)" "Really make us hurt on this one, Mandy." "And... action." " My name is Mandy." " (Woman moans)" " I'm a sex worker." " (Woman moans)" "But like all the sluts I play in this film, my life began as a child." "(♪ Mellow)" "(baby voice) I'm SuSannah." "I used to be a happy child." " The battery's gone." " Whoops." "Did you use your hands when you loaded this?" " Yeah." " Mm." "Yeah." "That's what's done it." " Gotta be careful." " (Phone rings)" "Barley UK." "Toe-bum." "Hang on, my bitch." "Don't matter." "I'll get us another one." "Let's just make sure it doesn't happen again, yeah?" "You silly ape." "What's up, my bummer?" " I need a billing for your hooker film." " 0K." " Something catchy." " Get us two of these." "How about " Fucked-up doc about a dick-licking chick"?" " Right." " No, no. "A dick-lick doc"." ""A dickory-lickory doc"." "Yeah, yeah." "And the mouse..." "the mouse..." " No, there isn't a mouse." " Well, there should be." " Your cousin see I put her in Trashbat?" " Yeah, you wanna rod her." " 0h, crude." " Well, well, you can't." " Yeah?" " Cos I'm gonna rod her." "But she's your cousin." "I've had signals." "I'm meeting her for lunch." "That's cos she's your fucking cousin, you bottle." "Rubbish, it's cos I'm on for a mouthful of tits." "Whatever." "You're lunching at Place, yeah?" "Yeah." " What time?" " 0ne." "0K, gotta shoot." "Fuck you later, yeah?" "Yeah, yeah." "Not before I fuck my cousin." "Elizabeth?" "No, she's much better." "Ah, she's silly." "No eat." "Yeah." "Vet says she swallow balls of hair." "But she was brave, brave, brave, brave cat." "Mm-hm." "0K." "0K, I'll see you then." "(growls)" "Mm-hm." "I give her tickle from you." "She tell me she like." "Ah, no." "Not too hard." "0K." "Bye-bye, Tim." "Bye-bye." "Now then, sir, I'm sorry." "I'm not finished." "Two minutes." "I've got to go." "Don't look for your scissors." "Even if you find them, you're not gonna finish this." " But..." " No, really." "And, later, sorry:" "0h." "Well, what a strange man, eh, Elizabeth?" "Huh?" "Elizabeth?" "(Nikolai walls and sobs)" " Got two, just in case." " Thanks." "So are you gonna let me in, then?" "Well, I'm sorry, but you do need your pass." " I said I've lost it." " Mm." " What's your name?" " You know what my name is." "I know, but it says here if you haven't got a pass you have to ask." " What's my name?" " Dan." "Right." " 0K." "What magazine are you from?" " You know what magazine I'm from." "Sugar Ape." "0K, one second." "Can I, uh... ask what the fuck happened to your hair?" "No." "0K." "(man) Place." "A farm for idea." "Place is a hive inasmuch as anyone can just walk in." "(man) From the phenomenal Very-Phonix." "♪ Flesh police" "♪ Illegal officer, whoa, whoa" "♪ Whoa" "To his radical collaborations with natives... (♪ tribal-style techno)" "...Rocket has always straddled the blade." "Place is creativilisation." "Nah." "Nah." "Sorry, there's no reply from the press office." "I can't..." "I don't know what to do." " (phone rings) - 0ne second." "Hello?" " Press office." " I've been trying to phone you." " Is Dan Ashcroft from Sugar Ape there?" " Uh, yes." "Excuse me." "It's them." " I'm on the phone." " Sorry." " Can you let him in, please?" " Yes." "And can you kiss his hand, as well?" " Kiss his hand?" " Yes." " Kiss his hand as he enters." " 0K." " Thanks." " Thanks." "Good news." "You can go in." " What are you doing?" " What?" " What do you think you're doing?" " They said..." " What's the matter with you?" " They said..." " You all right?" " Yeah." "You sure?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "They just said that they..." "They told me to." "Buck's Fiss?" "(burps)" " And you're from..." " Sugar Ape." " The cover feature." "Brilliant." " Cover?" "Yeah, I'll just bring the artist over." "Just crumble it open for the press kit CD." "(speed dials)" "Yeah, Zoe." "I need Jonatton." "Well, has he seen this vomit?" "(sighs)" "You're this?" "(sighs) Mm-hm." "About ten minutes." "(sighs)" "Talk about this into there." "(sighs)" "Well, this guy's a tadpole." "Hi, my name's 15Pete20, and welcome to the launch of my new book." "This..." "I'm trying to talk on the phone." "Can you keep it down a little bit, yeah?" " Well, the point is, this is toss." " The main points here are..." "You'd get more invention from a retarded vole." "...In a state of release." "And that's..." "Just a minute." "I can't hear you at all now." "What's the point if I can't hear you?" "Find the midpoint." "That's it." "I've seen better art at Woolworths." "...cos they actually smelt of baked beans." " What smelt of beans?" " Kylie's hot pants." "Are you actually proud of this bumwash?" "I know what you're trying to do." "These questions are rude..." "Jonatton, you blockage." "Just sorting it out, 0K?" "Don't get mincey." " Daniel, what's the problem?" " I'm not doing 1500 words on this." "2,000." "Well, can you print "Not art:" "Shit" 666 times?" "Dan, the guy's got the cover." "He's a genius." "Just get on with it, 0K?" "0i, come here." "Thanks." "You take that." "Now you interview your artist about his colossal genius." "0K?" "I'll be over here, with this." "Dan!" "Yo, Dan, you deaf cake." "Cool, uh... cool Greek pie." " Good." " Why'd you do that?" "I didn't." "Ciao, bellend." "Yeah, you... catch your balls in a hinge." "(speed dialling)" "Stanley Knives, yeah?" "Yeah, I wanna book a haircut around three?" "It's Nathan." "Barley." "Nathan Barley." "0K." "Cool." "Bum." "Futures." " Hey, Mr Trashbat." " Hey, superstar DJ." " What are you doing here?" " Meeting Toby for lunch." " Him for starter, me for main course?" " 0K." "Crazy beats last night, well beast." "Yeah, I liked the way you..." "Was that dancing?" "0h, what, the, uh..." "Wise Geek?" "I used to practise to this." "Whoa!" "The "Unridiculous Bear Mix"?" " You can have that one." " Are you sure?" "It's all right, I'm using their stuff on this film I'm directing." "Your "shock-you-mentally"?" "Yeah, yeah, hickory..." "You should come on set." "Ploof around." " Great." " This afternoon?" "0h, I can't." "I'm watching Damon Albarn fight a horse for Amnesty International." "0K." "Um..." " Tomorrow?" " 0K." "The mouth went up the cock." "Up and down." "It's oral." "See you down there, yeah?" "Yeah, my relief will be here any minute." " Laters, my nigger." " Yeah." "...Jimmy Nail, Eric Clapton, Chrissie Hynde, Daryl Hall, Jeff Lynne... (♪ techno)" "Abilise, yeah?" "How's it hanging?" " Nelson Bailey?" " Nathan Barley." "For Troll?" "Troll!" " All right, my man?" " Sit." " Yeah, stout." " What style?" " Greek pie?" " Draw it." "It's kind of long here, yeah, but short here, like it's been done at random, but if you look closely you can see that it hasn't, except you can't tell that." "And it's got a few of these in, yeah?" "Paint." "And lids." "Yeah?" "Whoa." "Whoa." "By the second." "Great snip stats." "(imitates beat)" "(singing along)" "(music becomes muffled)" "(♪ dub reggae)" "Awesome fuckin' W elles." "｣250." "Pay her." " Wow." " Exactly." "Make it 260, yeah?" "It's usually ten per cent." "Yeah. 250 plus ten per cent is 260, yeah?" " Thank you." " Cheers, doll snatch." "Right, so we'll rehearse this with Pingu as the pimp, 0K?" " Pimp?" " (Mandy) You kill me, then you fuck me?" "But..." " Wotchers, bitches." " All right, Nathan?" "All right?" "(whistles)" "All right, Mand?" "0K, everyone?" "0K, 0K." "Nathan, what the fuck have you done to your head?" " 0h, what, the haircut?" " That's a haircut?" "Yeah." "A Greek pie." "It looks like you've been shat on by an albatross." "Easy, yeah?" "Today, ridicule, tomorrow, really cool." " Have you got the axe?" " Yeah." "Ready for rehearsal?" "And... action." "(♪ Heavy metal)" "I'm Theresa." "I'm dead." "Axed up by my pimp." "He sold my arse for eight hours after I'd died." "I really felt like I was Theresa on that one." "Did he bury me?" "No." " Aw." "Did you see that tear?" " Uh-huh." " Did you see that tear?" " Yeah, cool." " Is that real?" " Yeah." "Bum." "We could use that." "The next film I'm doing, it's about this girl whose mum jumps under a tube train." "So she's raised on the Underground by rats." "0K." "And then this bloke catches her, yeah?" "Sticks her in a school, and it fucks her up, yeah?" "And you're, like, "Yeah."" "Cos we're all rats... inside." "And what the fuck's a school?" "Wow." " I want you to play her." " Really?" "I'd love to." "Thanks." "Mm." "Mm." "(Claire) All right, Dan?" "Mm, no." "Not really." "What's with his hair?" " Dan, we've got work, so..." " When I woke up this morning, my hair was full of paint and lids and I only managed to cut off half of it." " That's when you saw it." " Yeah..." "And so... wh... how?" "It's the same." "Same exactly." "Amazing." "I..." "I woke and..." "But it was on... on purpose, so..." "It's very cool, so I'm surprised you got rid of yours, actually." " I've got some clippers." " Yeah?" " I can't lend them to you, though." " Why not?" "I don't know." "Claire, I've got to flop off." "Don't even think about getting rid of your..." "What is it?" "A Greek pie?" "Continuity for the pimp." " I wasn't thinking of..." " Good." "And action!" "Get your fucking arm down." "How's New York's finest rack 'n ' back?" "Homing in." " Homing in?" " Can I drop by the set?" "You can't, cos we're right in the middle of something..." "Fuck off." "We're working." " That was..." " I don't care." "I haven't got more than five seconds without you looking like a pansy." "Slow it down." "Loop it." " Nathan..." " I've gotta go." " Nathan..." " I've really gotta go." "Sorry, it's Claire." "She's gone a bit lab monkey." " Whack her a Xanax." " Yeah." "Where are you now?" " Where are you?" " Shit." "Hello?" "I'm late for a meeting about my rat flick." "0h, the one on Trashbat." "I was gonna..." "No!" "Huh?" "Can I help?" "Hey!" " Hey." " Hey." " Fucking with your head, yeah?" " But do you?" "What are you on?" " Stuff." " Do you wanna buy that?" " Yeah." " It's a bag." " It fits." " 0K." "I need to scan it." "Nah, I'm fine, thanks." "I need to scan the barcode on the back." "Yeah?" "No, I can do it." "Bar codes, yeah?" "Bloody... globalised..." "That'll make a point, you know." "You're all..." "You all should..." "Corporate shit." " (beep)" " That's 259." "(Dajve) Whoa." "There you go, you... capitalist sod." "So, does, um, Captain Baghead wanna go for a coffee, then?" "He does, yeah." "Coffee." "How many slaves have you killed today?" " Do you want a bag for your bag?" " No." "I need to remove the security tag." " It's the best bit." " It's gonna set the alarm off." "Why do you think I want it?" "Duh!" "Come on, Dajve." "You're a twat, mate." "(alarm)" "Music, yeah?" "Yeah." "So, um, when do you start this rat chick film?" " Uh, next month." " Um..." "Have you cast the girl?" "Good idea." "Yeah." "I mean, I've never done anything like that." "Yeah, you'd be..." " You'd be well brown." " 0h." "Cool." " Fuck." " Are you 0K?" "I've got a rats... meeting to..." "(video playback)" "(playback stops and restarts)" "(Nathan) Sorry I ran off set." " Not good enough." " It was only four hours." "(playback starts)" "(woman) Every year I am raped by over 100 policemen." "This is gonna work." "(Nathan sighs)" " What?" " I've dicked things up with Dajve." " She saw the hair." " She almost did." "So I put a handbag over my head in a shop." "I had to keep it on." "I had to buy it." "You spanner." "I know." "Look, she's probably gonna look like Toby by the time she's your age." " Looks good." " (Phone rings)" "(beep)" "Eggs and fuckin' bacon." "Dajve thought the handbag thing was actually quite cool." "She's foaming about playing the rat chick." "Great." "Hang on." "You promised that part to Mandy." " No, I didn't." " Uh, yeah, you did." "She's been yakking about it all afternoon." " She's not playing it." " Nathan, I heard you ask her." "It's not a proper offer, so..." "I don't..." "You've gotta tell her." "(phone rings)" "Trash." "Thank you." " And she's, um, coming up now, so..." " Mandy?" "There's your opportunity." "I'll drop these off." "Tell her while I'm out." " Can't you?" " No." " You'll see her." " No, Nathan." " You'll see her on the stairs." " No." " It'd be better coming from you." " You tell her." "Hello." "Hi." " Can I have some?" " Yeah." " Where's Claire?" " She's... out." "0h." " Yeah." " Hm." "You're looking... good." "Thanks." "Um..." "There's something I... um..." "wanted to talk to you about." " 0h, yeah?" " Yeah." "Um..." "I don't know how, quite, to put this... um..." " It's all right." " Yeah?" " Yeah." " Is it?" "Yeah." "I'll just have to charge you just 50 quid... for the last tenth." "0h... no." "Um..." " It's..." " Sh." " 0hh..." " (Zip opens)" "Um..." " (gasps)" " Mm." " Mandy?" "Uh..." " Mm-hm?" "I've got..." "I've got to..." " Mand?" " Mm?" " Nothing." " Mm." " (exhales heavily)" " Mm." "You... bitch." "Sorry?" "You bitch." "(mouths)" "(tuts)" "Are you all right?" " Yeah, it's just..." " Yeah." "It's all right, I'll finish you off another time." "Yeah." " I'll see you at the screening." " Yeah." "Shall we?" "Can we talk about that rat film?" " Yeah, definitely." " All right, then." "You are an excellent whore." "See you later, then." "Futures." "(music and applause)" "(♪ pounding dance)" " Brilliant picture, guys." " Glad you liked it." "You know, it is just absolutely as I wanted it to be." "I was axing like a fucker, right?" "I'm banging, I'm banging." "Shut up, please." " They liked it." " They liked Mandy's tits." "This place is a fucking twatstorm." "Look at it." ""A lickory-dickory doc"?" " What sort of gimp writes that?" " Well..." "Doug Rocket saw it through the periscope." "Huh?" " He watches via periscope." "He loved it." " Bum." " I'll go see if I can bring him over." " Whoa, Nathan." " Will he fund the rat chick flick?" " Um..." " Are you working on that?" " Yeah." "0h." "I'm Mandy." " Dajve." " Hi." "I'm playing a girl raised by rats." " Are you?" " Yeah." " Nathan..." " I..." "Wait... um..." "Mandy, I've gotta tell you..." " What?" " Um..." "Dajve's actually got the part." "But you gave it to me." "Well, I said you could probably do it." "No, no, no." "You promised." "Uh, I can understand why you wanna do it." "You wanna get out of... vice and... and filth and..." "shagging fat blokes, so..." " Fine." " Yeah?" "He's coming over." "Ah, Doug?" " This is..." " You're the girl in the film." " Yeah?" " That was very erotic." "And so sad." "We're upstairs with Kevin Spacey, throwing tangerines at John Malkovich." "Would you like to join us?" " Yeah." " It's quite shocking." "He likes to take them very hard in the face." " (Dajve) So you told her..." " No, come off it." "She's mental." "Nathan, um, seeing as we're not gonna see each other again, do you think you could give me that 50 quid for the blow job?" "She lent me..." "No, the blow job I gave you on Thursday." "It's a sort of code." "Code?" "For putting your cock in my mouth?" " I've got 40." " No, no. 50, Nathan." "You already had a 90 per cent discount." "(Nathan) Cheers." "Thanks." "0h!" "Seeing as you couldn't..." "Shall we call it 30?" "Bye-bye." "Dajve, do you wanna dance?" "I guess." "0K." "Got any condoms?" "No." "I'll pull out just before." "Futures, big boy." "(♪ "Whose Side Are You 0n" by Matt Bianco)" "(woman) Hey, did you see the film?" "Cool, wasn't it?" "Yeah." "I directed it, actually." "Cool." "Do you, like, act?" "Maybe." "Think you can play a rat?" "Visiontext Subtitles:" "Abigail Smith"