"This film contains some strong language." "I haven't unpacked, so you can easily have that one if you want to." "I just stayed there last night." "I don't mind." "Well, choose." "Honestly, I really don't mind." "It's your trip." "I don't mind." "I'll tell you what..." "Oh, come on." "Just choose..." " You stay in there." " Stop being so nice!" "It's fine, it's fine." "I'll, erm..." " Really?" " Yeah." " Sure?" " Yeah." "OK." "Will you be all right up there?" "Yeah." "Baked apples." "With the blackberries?" "Yeah." "Mmm." "I think that's a very good idea." "OK." "Oh, I love it when you do that." "I think the..." "Sorry, darling." "Can I just turn the oven on over here?" "There we are." "Whoa!" "Not sure which one." "Oh, it's this one, I think." "I'm just going to look after my eggs." "Yeah, sorry." "Remember, I used to do this when you were really small?" "Yeah." "Mum, here's your hot water bottle." "Thank you." "There you go." "Turning this one out." " Right." " OK." "Night, my darlings." "Night, night." "Go up, Mum." "Let's hope Dad's here tomorrow." "You won't be seeing him again then, or..." "No, I will, I will." "I'll see him that night, that one night I've got before I go." "Night, C." "Night, night." "Sleep well." "And you." "Mum?" "Darling?" "Night-night." "Sleep well." "You too." "See you in the morning." "Yeah." "Must be quite a nice job, really." "Coming away, family, free holiday." "Nice bit of cooking." "It's not very exacting." " Is everything all right?" " Yes, delicious." "Can I get you anything else?" "I think we're fine." "Thank you." "Good." "Yeah." "Have you come a long way, Rose?" "Erm, no." "Well, sort of, Northamptonshire." "Oh, that's quite far." "Yeah, it's not Scotland, though." "No." "Yeah." "Whereabouts in Northamptonshire?" "Erm, sort of, quite near Silverstone." "That is quite far." "That's almost up to Cambridge, isn't it?" "Sort of on the way." "On the way, yeah." "I'd say Cambridge is probably an hour or so." "So did you have to leave very early in the morning?" "Erm, yeah, quite early." "But it's fine." "It's all part of the job." "You're astonishingly ready for us." "I'm amazed that you've managed to get things together in such a short space of time." "It's really great, thank you." "Well, it's a pleasure." "It's what I'm here for." "Mmm." "It's a lovely house." " Yes." " Isn't it?" " We love it." "It's really, really nice." "Have you stayed here before, or...?" "Oh, yes." "For many years." "Yeah, we've been here..." "Yeah." "OK." "Cynthia and I were here as children." "Yeah, it's lovely." "Lots of lovely memories." "Did there used to be a picture on that wall, or..?" "Yes, how clever of you!" "I've just noticed the colour difference in the..." "Yes, it was rather horrible." "Oh, right." "And Cynthia and Edward very kindly took it down." "Yep." "Oh, I see." "Right." "Well, I'd better get back, but it won't be long." "Great." "Great, well, whenever you're ready." "OK." " Thank you." " Thanks." " Do you want to finish that for me?" " Mmm." "You don't have to act so kind." "You don't have to..." "What?" "I'm just..." "She's used to it." "She can just go in there." "That's what she does all the time." "Darling, I don't think we need to whisper." "Oh, right, yeah." "I'm a bit stiff from that walking." "Yes." "It's good." "It's not a gap year, C." "Mmm." "I really want you to understand that." "No, I'm..." "It sounds great." "I mean, of course, it's wonderful, what you're doing, it's really great." "Just..." "Perhaps you could have done it a few years ago, and you wouldn't be quite so out of step with your generation." "Cynthia, he's doing it now." "And then you could just get on with getting a job and working like the rest of us." "He's had a job." "But I'm happy for you." "You know, that you can be so cavalier with your future." "It's a luxury." "I think you're doing..." "Taking a wonderful, excellent choice." "Well, in Edward's defence, I'd have to say..." "I just think, perhaps a little bit more awareness that it is a luxury, rather than..." "It's not a luxury, and it's anything but cavalier." "..a natural thing to do." "CLUNKING" "Abstraction is a reductive process, a way of simplifying." "Mmm." "Distilling, really." "So, there's no such thing as, really, abstraction, if you like." "There's no such thing as reality, so abstraction is a way of simplifying and distilling the important information, so you get it home." "You know, you get your intention clear across to the viewer." "Well, actually, most people just want to paint the view, which is a starting point, but that's the way I started." "As you get older, I suppose, you want to say something with it, so, it's a bit of, sort of a strange thing." "I'm teaching very specific-focused things to do, and yet I'm also introducing the idea of chaos, as well." "And that's part of this kind of wonderful, well, journey." "Like a two-horse race, galloping off into no-man's land." "With these two horses, I suppose." "And one sometimes gets in front of the other, but the intention is the main thing." "What do I want to do?" "But you need the tools." "I mean, I'm giving your mum, trying to give her as many tools in which to work with as she possibly can." "Mmm." "So..." "So, did we do anything else?" "Is it light all night, all day?" "Yeah, yeah." "A couple of hours it's not, and it just goes a bit duller." "Can you sleep?" "I slept out on the ice." " Did you?" " Yeah." "Goodness me." "In a sleeping bag, which was fantastic." "I woke up with all this prism of colours bouncing off all the icebergs." " It was just amazing." " Oh, wow." "I just thought I wanted to, kind of, you know, a bit like you, just go somewhere which was, erm..." "And do something that I'd never, ever do again." " Yes, yes." " Or might not do again." " A real adventure." " Yeah." "I've got two older sisters." "Yeah." "Three girls." "And you're the youngest." "I am." "Yeah." "Me too." "Yeah, it's tough." "It's tough at the bottom." "Yeah, no, they, because they always used to wind me up so much when I was younger, because they're actually closer in age, and then there's a sort of gap between me and Chloe, so it's..." "Chloe?" "Yeah." "My girlfriend's called Chloe." "Oh, right." "It's a lovely name." "Yeah, so they all used to, you know, wind me up... ..and I just fell for it, every time." "But, yeah, so, lots of cooking." "To come." " For them?" " For them." "I'll get some gruel." "And your mum and dad?" "Erm..." "My, erm, my dad died last year." "So, erm, yes, it's just my mum." "So it's actually four girls." "I'm so sorry." "Yeah, no, no, it's fine." " Hi." " Hi, would you..." " Morning." " Morning." "Are you ready for breakfast?" "I'll be up and down, so don't worry, thank you." " OK." " You're not dressed." "It'll only take..." "Mum didn't sleep well at all." "She feels dreadful." "She's wondering about the picnic." "I can't bear it." "Rose?" "Yeah?" "I know we talked about soup and other things, but could we just try and keep the picnic as small as possible?" "So, simple, just one basket." "Sure." "I think if there's less faff and carrying stuff, she might be persuaded." "Mmm." "Oh, can you go up, Edward?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "Rose." "Yeah?" "Did you find both rugs?" "Erm, no, I've only found one." "The cream one, I couldn't find it." "There's a check one." "Oh, right, OK." "I'll come and have a look." "Sorry." "It's all right." "Mum, you nearly ready?" "Hello." "Hi." "How are you?" "Good." "You ready?" "Hi, Christopher." "Just get my boots on." "Hi." "Hi, Cynthia." "Sorry, yeah." " Hi." " Good day for it, isn't it?" "Do you need a hand with anything?" "No, I think we're all right." "Ready to go." "I think that's it." "Here, Edward." "Torch." "Great, thanks." "So that's all ready." "Yep, think so." "Mum!" "So, what have we got?" "Just basics, you know." "Sandwiches, crisps, dips." "Caviar?" "Yeah, champagne!" "She's brushing her teeth." "Ah!" "Hello." "All right?" "Yes." "Right, let's go." "On the road." "I'll grab that." "Morning." "Hi." "All right?" "After you." "Thank you." "You look lovely in that." "I'm worried I've forgotten something." "Let me take that." "Well, if we have..." "You've done all the work." "It's fine." "Yeah, as long as you've got the wine." "Yeah, but, you know, I get the blame if something goes wrong!" "Joking." "It'll be fine." "Look after that lunch!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Wait, Edward, wait." "Wait, I'm hurt." "Can you give me a hand?" "I think I've pulled a muscle." "Ow!" "Oh." "Yeah." "Ah!" "Right, I can't go any further." "She's in the same office as me." "She'll carry on working for a couple of years, and then settle down and have babies." "It's all rather perfect." "It depends." "Some jobs are very..." "Do you remember, Christopher?" "You go to the left." "To the left?" "Yeah, just follow this..." "It is, isn't it?" "This path?" "Yeah, that'll take us there." "Come on." "It looks like it's clearing up." "Yeah." "No wind, I suppose." "Mmm." "I never really was very good at that." "Spotting patterns in figures and things." "No." "It's a shame, just having been given the opportunity." "It was all pretty set up." "There's an awful lot you can't do when you're doing that kind of work." "Not exactly nourishing." "Pity he couldn't stick at it just for a bit longer." "Must be a bit embarrassing for Dad." "You don't have to be embarrassed for your dad!" "It's not going to reflect on him." "Anyone else?" "Edward?" " No, thank you." " I'm all right, actually." "You look just like Dad with that on." "You do!" "How weird." "Have I got it on the wrong way round?" "No, it's the right way round." "That's how I wear it." ""I'll bally go and shoot those pheasants!"" ""Pull!"" "Fuck!" "There's a kind of Western fatigue about AIDS, I think, and...but it's still huge there." "You know, ever since the '80s, the mid-'80s, when people understood what a big deal it was, I think now, in Africa, it's as big a deal as it ever was, but we've got a bit tired of hearing about it." "And it's killing people all the time." "You don't think it's a lost cause?" "No, of course it's not a lost cause." "And you think you're going to make a difference?" "Yeah." "If I can stop one person, one 13-year-old, if I can connect with just one person, and he understands what I'm talking about and protects himself against, you know, using safe sex, then I'll have done my job." "I can't, I'm not the President of the UN, there's no policy-making, but at least I hope" "I'd be connecting with people, you know, on the ground." "How else are you supposed to do it?" "Yeah." "Is everybody finished?" "Yeah, thanks." "Yeah, I think so." "Can I have this apple?" "Of course you can." "Does anyone else want this apple?" "OK." "No more brownies?" "Are you sure?" "I might save some for tea, later." "They were that good?" "They were that good." "I think, in this sort of situation, it's best to do just quick, spontaneous work." "Yeah, OK." "OK, OK." "Does he like you painting?" "Does he appreciate that aspect?" "I think so." "I think he thinks if I like it, it's a nice thing." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah." "It's a kind of place you can go, isn't it, you can just kind of relax and forget everything." "I don't think he gets the full measure of it, though, you know." "I don't think..." "I don't think Will's very strong on imagination." "He doesn't like to..." "..give himself up to things like this." "Yeah, yeah." "Well, I suppose he's got other things to think about." "Do you understand that?" "Hello, darling." "How are you?" "Where are you calling from?" "Oh." "Well, we're really looking forward to it." "Yes, we really are, we really are." "Marvellous being here with the children." "Yes, they're well, yes." "Edward's full of Africa." "Erm..." "We've done some things, we've been out, the weather's been lovely, but it would be very nice if you were here with us." "HORN BLOWS IN DISTANCE" "I'm not going to do much blue." "So, you see, if I got rid of those blues there, then the other colours become, kind of, the blues." "So, they exist in relationship to all the other colours, and they take on a blueness." "It's kind of what I'm trying to do." "To approach it more, sort of, at a slightly more intriguing tangent." "Understatement." "Yeah." "I quite like that blue." "Mmm." "It's kind of joyous." "HORN BLOWS" "Hello, Rose." "Hello." "Bit of a breezy afternoon." "Yeah." "To say the least." "Yes." "Right." "Oh, perfect." "Delivery of lobsters." "Thank you so much." "Great, how much do I owe you?" "One of each." "It's 35, please." "35, OK." "Male and a female there for you." "Oh, really?" "And how do you tell the difference?" "Let's have a look." "Here we go." "I've got 40 there." "Do you have any change?" "We'll sort the change out in a minute, don't worry." "OK." "See, that's a female." "Turn her over." "See the length of the shell covering her tail?" "Yeah." "It protects her eggs, and carries her eggs down there, and see, they hide up under the shell, there." "I see." "You can carry them in here." "With this male, the shell comes level with the body." "That's the difference." "That's the male, and that's the female." "How amazing." "Yes, incredible." "And he seems to be a lot smaller than her, as well." "Well, they're the same weight." "Really?" "Slightly different shape." "She looks bigger because..." "She looks wider." "Well, it's slightly different shape," " because her shell is much bigger, you see, for carrying the eggs." " OK." "That's why." "But they're about the same weight." "OK." "Well, by the time they're cooked, they'll be bright red." "They change colour." "What's that noise?" "It's just air being released." "Have you done this before?" "Not very many times, to be honest." "I'm not that comfortable around them." "Because I don't really hate much shellfish." "In fact, I don't really eat it at all." "I've had quite strange reactions in the past." "Did you do it at Ballymaloe?" "Yeah, I did." "Oh, God!" "Oh, my God!" "Scaring me!" "Sorry." "Oh, my God." "Yeah, we did it at Ballymaloe, and they were much worse than this." "They were, you know, if we put the lid on, they'd be thrashing the lid off, and the lid would go flying across the room, and they were very, very awake." "And very aggressive." "Wow." "These seem so sleepy." "Well, you know, they've been out of water for a long time." "Right." "You know, in Ireland, it was literally like out the sea, two minutes down the road, they were in our kitchen." "It's the same here, but it's..." "Did you always cook them like that?" "Well, this is the way that we were taught, because there's so many different ways." "I mean, you know, at Ballymaloe, they were really big on, you know, killing things in the most humane way possible, obviously." "Sure." "And so the way that we learnt was to put them into tepid water, you know, sort of warmish, and then, as you bring the water up to a boil, or a simmer, they will automatically fall into a coma, basically." "And then they'll die peacefully." "Right." "Rather than, you know, putting them in a thing of boiling water." "Which is like gassing them." "Yeah, it's like torturing them." "Yeah." "Which is not, you know, not fair." "And none of it's fair, really, but..." "It's probably not a conversation you want to have, being a vegetarian." "I think it'd be nice if we asked her to join us." "I can't think of anything worse than eating with another family." " OK, fine." " Listen, if she's at the table..." " She'd probably prefer to talk to her friends." " Yeah, yeah." " Edward, don't you have your own friends?" "You don't have to make friends with the cook." " Fine." "I don't see her talking to her friends, that's all." "She's doing the washing up." "Yeah, on her own." "Darling, it's a job." "Oh, my God." "It's a job she's taken on for two weeks." "All we have to do is ask her to join us." "We've got a massive table." "It wouldn't be a huge thing." "Well, then, go and do it." "Edward, ask her to join us." "Ask her, if you like to." "That's fine." " She's a sweet girl." " It doesn't matter." "She's very sweet." "OK." "Rose?" "Yeah?" "I think Edward's got a bit of a crush." "Do you want a hand?" "He is so ridiculous." "Burning martyr, sort of." "Poor cook." "Staff." "He's just got too much empathy." "It's so annoying, though." "It's always in such a, sort of, accusatory way." "Well..." ""Why don't we ask cook to join us?" As though we've..." "No, we shan't." "That's just Edward." "Thank you, darling." "What's just Edward?" "Caring about people's feelings." " Right." " Clearing the table." "Why are you...?" "No, I think we're all full." "OK." "Yes." "I could have done that." "That's..." "No problem." "It's actually getting quite embarrassing now." "I feel sorry for her." "So what do I do now?" "We can both do it together." "You're right!" "Would you rather I wasn't here?" "He's always trying to make himself..." "Now he's got to sort it out there, too." "This is the whole point about helping." "Poor girl just wants her bloody wages." "Job's a job." "It's a very straightforward thing." "Go to the pub for a drink, or something." "..absolutely delicious." "My dad worked in motor racing." "He was a racing driver, so, yeah." "That's why we've ended up there, really." "Yeah, so I think we're still very much, erm, as a family, we're, you know..." "I don't know." "It's like we've come out of the coma." "Sure." "And that can be good, and it can also be bad, because it's the realisation, you know." "That he's never coming back, sort of thing, and that's the..." "Yeah, I mean, that's the hardest thing, really." "And yeah, you don't really feel anything after it happens for a long time." "Because he died in an accident, so it was all very..." "You know." "Mmm." "You know." "He walked out the door one day and didn't come back." "Erm, so..." "God, yeah." "Yeah." "I can't imagine." "Leucospermums, pincushion proteas, that sort of thing, mixed in with pelargoniums and what have you, you know, the geraniums with the very fragrant foliage from South Africa." "And what we try to do is to stop things like the Christmas trees getting involved too much." "Also what you get from here is you get these wonderful views out to the sea." "Tops of the trees all showing through, that sort of thing." "You suddenly realise, then, that you can see the sea when you come in." "So everything up here has to survive through some pretty.." " Hello!" " Hi!" "..harsh conditions." "But then it would naturally get that in Table Mountain." "Shall we do the photo?" "Yeah." "Come and stand here." "Be Dad." "Right, lovely." "Ready?" "One, two, three." "Edward, your face is in the sun." "Sorry." "I'm squinting?" "OK?" "There we go." "..all the palm trees, date palms." "So they've been there since about 1900." "Right." "Well, they don't mind where we sit." "So, what do you think?" "Nice, isn't it?" " You're so good at this, Cynthia." " Sit here?" "Yeah?" "Whatever you'd like, darling." "Would you like this?" "This is good, isn't it, the middle?" "Do you want to look out the window?" "Let's go this one." "Yeah, nice to have a view, isn't it?" "Are you cold?" "It's looking a bit bleak." "All right, well, where do you want to sit?" "Where shall we sit?" "Anyone?" "This one is good, isn't it?" "Five, here." "Great." "Mum, why don't you go at the head, and then Christopher, I'll sit here, Rose and Edward on the other side." "Is that good?" "Great." "Or shall we be more sort of boy, girl, boy, girl?" "Maybe we should have Christopher at the head, yeah?" "That's good, isn't it?" "Christopher at the head." "I mean, no, you at the head, Christopher, Edward there." "And then we can sit here." "Lovely?" "Mm-hmm." "Excellent." "Thanks." "You don't look convinced, Mum." "What is it?" "Do you want to go that one?" "All right, OK." "Come on, let's move on to that one." "We've got so much choice, we might as well get it right." "So, fine." "All right?" "OK." "Now the next choice." "So me here?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "There we are." "Thank you very much." "You're welcome." "There we go." "Thank you." "OK, enjoy." "Thank you." "Bon appetit." "Quite an urge to start with all the drizzling." "Not yet, thank you." "Pepper, Mum?" "Thank you, darling." "This isn't done properly." "It's still really pink." "Really?" "It shouldn't be like that." "No, it shouldn't be like that all." "Wait for 25 minutes, and then..." "Look." "Isn't yours bad, Mum?" "I think mine's fine." "You don't have to say it's fine if it's not." "I mean, we've paid, so we can easily send it back." "It's fine." "Mine's definitely not fine, at all." "Well, shall we get somebody over?" "Yeah." "Because, look." "That's actually quite dangerous if you eat like that, isn't it?" "Yeah, well, if you're not happy with it." "There's just no point in not complaining when you're in a restaurant for the one day out." "Excuse me?" "Is everybody else's all right?" "Yeah, soup's good." "You OK there?" "Hi." "No, this isn't cooked properly in the middle." "Oh." "Yeah." "Awfully sorry about that." "That's all right." "Would you like me to get you a new one?" "I think I'll just have something else, actually." "Maybe I'll just have a soup." "Because that's actually quite dangerous, I think, if you eat that." " Mum, don't you want to send yours back?" " It's fine." "You don't have to say it's fine." "I'm sending mine back." "I've eaten some." "It's fine." "Fine." "All right." " There we are." "Thank you very much." " Would you...?" "Soup, great, yeah." "Do you think I could have a word with the chef?" "Because that's quite dangerous." "Yeah, no problem." "I'll just go and get him for you." "Thanks." "You don't have to sit quietly, and you don't have to look at me like I'm making a massive scene, how embarrassing." "It's not cooked properly, it's dangerous." "It would be nice if I didn't just sit here with everyone in silence around me." "Anyway." "Well, I think you've done the right thing." "If you're not happy, you know, you have the right as the customer, so..." "Thanks, Rose." "Unfortunately, Mum and Edward are just allergic to any kind of complaining." "Well, you don't want to be ill." "No." "No." "Mine is delicious, so thank you very much." "I'm sure you've done the right thing." "Right, well, thanks for that, Edward." "Not a moment too soon." "I hear there's a problem with the meal." "It was just that it took a rather long time coming, and then when it came, I don't have if you've seen it, but it's not cooked properly in the middle." "Well, guineafowl is actually served slightly pink, slightly underdone." "It's not like chicken." " I wasn't told that when I ordered it though, was I?" " OK." "And also, it's not really terribly good for you." "I mean, it was cold and uncooked, almost cold in the middle." "It was cold, was it, as well?" "Oh, dear." "Are you sure yours was all right, Mum?" "Because you don't want to get ill." " It's fine." " OK." "Anyway, that's it." "It doesn't matter." "Can I get you something else?" "I've asked the waitress for a bowl of soup." " Have you?" " Yeah." "OK, well, I'll sort that out." "I'm sorry about that." "All right, never mind." "I'll have a word with them, make sure they offer it properly next time." "OK?" "Thanks." " Thank you." " Thanks." "It's actually rather good." "You can eat your soup, Edward." "You don't need to set there being moody." "Oh, God." "DOOR SLAMS" "No, I'm fine." "Where are you?" "I thought you'd be here by now." "Oh, hurry up!" "Yeah." "Good, fine." "Fine." "Yeah." "She's all right." "Shall I get her?" "OK." "Bye." "Mum?" "Mum?" "It's Dad." "Will?" "Not great." "Erm..." "Just a bit difficult." "It would be much better if you were here." "SHE SOBS" "Well, it's not real, so..." "Sure." "Sorry." "That's all right." "It's not nice." "Erm..." "Would you like cereal or toast?" "You don't have to make my breakfast." "I'll get, I'll get..." "OK." "That's my job." "Left hand, right hand." "I can do it." "What are you looking for?" "Er, a spoon." "Big one, small one." "Thanks." "Did you ever play the spoons?" "Not on a regular basis, no." "So, what's the plan today?" "I have no idea." "I'll wait and see what I'm told to do." "Doesn't sound like fun." "That's how it is." "KNOCK AT DOOR" "C?" "Yeah." "Morning." "Morning." "What time is it?" "It's about 8:30." "I thought we were supposed to be on holiday." "Sleep all right?" "Yeah." "What do you want?" "I've brought you a cup of tea." "Oh." "OK." "Do you want to go for a bike ride later?" "No." "I've just woken up." "You don't have to decide now." "It was more of a feeling than a dream." "It was about Dad." "And I was..." "And C was there, and anyway, we were in the mountains, or something, and I was late." "I was late." "Weird." "Where was Dad?" "He was waiting for me." "But I was late." "He was so angry." "Ey-up!" "Ay-ay-ay!" "Come on, you bird!" "Come on!" "Get up!" "Ey-up!" "Get up, get up, get up!" "Up-up, up-up!" "Ay-ay!" "Ey-up!" "Good boy, good boy, get on, get on." "Come on!" "OK?" "OK?" "Ey-up!" "Ay-ay!" "Ey-up!" "Good boy." "Ay-ay!" "Ey-up!" "Get up!" "Ey-up!" " Good boy." " Ay-ay!" "Get up, get up." "Good boy, good boy." "Ey-up!" "Mush, mush!" "Ey-up!" "Talking, talking!" "Ye-ye-ye." "Ay-ay!" "Ay-ay!" "PHEASANT CALLS" "GUNSHOT" "GUNSHOT" "GUNSHOT" "Heel, heel!" "Heel, heel!" "Come by, come by." "Come by!" "Come by!" "Heel." "Heel, heel!" "Patricia?" "Hello?" "Hi!" "Oh, I'll just come round." "One sec." "Morning." "Hi." " All well?" " Hi, I'm Rose." "Pleased to meet you." "Steve." "I'm cooking for the family." "Ideal." "I brought you a brace of birds from the shoot the other day." "Great." "I didn't know you were coming." "The family have gone for a walk." " No, I've rather sprung it on you." " Yes, you have!" "So, I've brought you a nice brace." "They've been hung for three or four days," " so they're ready to pluck, really, so..." " Wow!" "They'll be super." "OK, so, well, you might have to give me some advice, because I've never really..." "Right." "Actually, I've plucked a duck once, but I can imagine it's quite similar." "Very similar." "The good thing about these, you don't have the down on them" " like a duck, so it's slightly easier to pluck." " OK." "Basically what you do is pull the tail feathers out." "Yeah." "Pull the primaries out, on the wing, OK?" "And then, basically, from there on, you just pluck it downwards." "Yeah." "If you pull upwards, it tends to sort of rip the skin a wee bit, so you have to be careful of that." "Pull it downwards into a sack, so sit down, outside, probably, with a sack open, and just pull all the feathers into a sack." "OK." "And then you'd need to take the head off, take the legs off and put it in some foil, stick it in the oven." "And what about the guts and everything?" "The guts, basically, you draw them out from the back end." "OK." "Take the crop off that's inside the chest, basically, you'll find it." "It's a sort of lump, there." "Right." " Probably be full of corn or food they've been eating." " Right." "Pull that out, job done." "That's good." "Don't forget those white shapes behind the object, Patricia." "Yes." "Thank you." "Thank you." "There may come a point in the painting where you just need to let it rest, let it dry a little bit, and then get back into it." " Mmm." " Thanks." "Mmm." "It's great to get this kind of degree of chaos." "Because chaos gives ideas which you may not have found out if you'd tried to control it completely." "Oh, yeah." "Well, that's for ever going to be the difficult part for me." "Chaos, yes." " Controlling chaos." " Yes." "That's better." "Yeah, very good." " Hi." " Hi." "How are you doing?" "Good, yeah." "Your family are doing very well." "Well, Christopher's pleased." "I think that's the main thing." "Well, it probably isn't the main thing, but..." "DOOR OPENS" "Hi." " Hi." " How are you?" " Good." "OK." "Bold, now." "Think of the whole." "So do you think it's the artist in you, in a way, that needs more space than you would have if you had a family?" "Well, I don't know." "I mean, I think it's opportunity and your own personality, and the job that I do would possibly have made it more difficult than it might otherwise have been." "Mmm." "I kind of regret it, but there's lots of children around in my life, so it's good." "That's good." "Yeah." "Keeps me silly." "Yeah!" "Well, that's..." "You've hit on something that's very important." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah." "I think that's one of the benefits." "They keep you young, and they keep you..." "A bit silly." "Yeah." "I'm not sure Will would agree with that, but certainly from my perspective." "It is such a commitment, though, isn't it?" "Yeah, it is." "And you've got to be sure that it is something you choose, and that you can sustain it." "Well, in the end, of course, you make the decision to have them, and you have them, and you hope you're doing the right thing, but then, of course, they do become young people," "and then how could you not have them?" "Yeah." "Do you see?" "It, sort of, has its own imperative somewhere." "Yeah, and it's your family." "Yeah." "Certainly wouldn't be without them." "Great." "Well, it looks all, sort of, coming together." "Yeah." "MUFFLED CHATTER" "Good question." "Um..." "So, have we got pheasant?" "Mmm." "Yeah, local pheasant." "Not shot by Dad, though." "Is he a good shot?" "Mmm." "Yeah." ""Bloody good shot."" ""Bloody best shot of the season."" ""Urrr!"" "Have you eaten yours?" " Or it's sunk?" " It's sunk, yeah." "Mine's sunk, as well." "Good." "We're practically brothers." "OK, lunch is ready, if you want to come through." "Great." "OK." "OK." "Can you manage?" "There was this one instance she described of a man they called the Night Dancer, and he went round people's huts and homes, in the middle of the night, completely naked, and danced outside the front door, by the window," "and would practise witchcraft on their children." "And they found out who this man was, and in the light of the next day they pulled him into the middle of the central square and beat him." "And beat him to death." "Eventually, and as a volunteer, you can't impose any Westernised model of morality." "You simply have to stand by and watch, because if you interfere, they will include you in his sentence." "And it sounds absolutely horrifying." "Yeah." "What about Chloe?" "She must be quite worried about you going away, then." "I think she is, yeah." "Erm, I don't know..." "Is she going to visit?" " No, she's not allowed to come and visit." " Why is that?" "Something to do with respect." "If you're there as a Western volunteer, then you can't be seen to..." "You're teaching about sexual reproductive health." "You can't be seen to then be having extra-marital sex with someone, and importing..." "It's a respect thing, it's something about dignity, and if you have to lead by example..." "I've got one, I don't know," "I'm seeing her on Wednesday for one night, that's all I've got." "I've got one night to see her before I go away for 11 months." "I don't know what's going to happen, and..." "So are you going to split up?" "No, we're not going to split up." "I don't know what we're going to do." "I mean, actually, frankly, it would have been nice to have had her here, with us, now." "I don't really see why she couldn't have come." "She couldn't really come here, could she?" "Because it was like a family holiday." "Well, actually, she could have come, Cynthia, and you may refer to it as a family holiday, but she actually feels like family to me, in that I'm attached to her and she's someone who's significant in my life, and she could have come." "That's not really family, is it?" "That's just someone you're attached to, who you've been going out with for a year and a half." "So you think a year and half is nothing, that, you know," "I'm going away for 11 months, and a year and a half is." "Well, you obviously think so if you're going away for 11 months." "Can't be the top priority in your life, can it?" "Girl's viewpoint." "I don't understand how you can say that." "I don't know what I'm doing, anyway." "I have no idea what I am doing." "Am I doing the right thing?" "I have no idea." "I'm going away to Africa for 11 months." "Why?" "Who knows?" "Why am I qualified to teach sexual and general health?" "Oh." "Oh, hell." "All right?" "I've got shot in my thing." "Oh!" "That really hurts." "Really, really hurts." "Darling." "So sorry, Christopher." "Edward, would you go and see if she's all right, please?" "Cynthia!" "C?" "C!" "Cynthia?" "C?" "DOOR OPENS" "Cynthia?" "What?" "  Cyn?" " What?" "!" "Youdon'thavetobeso angry !" "Oh,shutthefuckup!" "I'mliterallysittingdownthere, listeningtoEdwardtalkcompletefuckingshit!" "AndyouthinkIsaynothing,andyou tellmetobequiet , andwhy,whatishescaredof?" "Whydoesnothingrighthappen?" "Icanbeangry ." "Youshouldbe fuckingangry!" "Iamangry,ofcourseI'mangry!" "Whyareyouangrywith me?" "Because..." "Because you can't stop..." "WhathaveIdone?" "What have Idone?" "You'resoresentful!" "Ican'tfuckingtakeanymoreofyour shit!" "HORN BLOWS" "WIND HOWLS" "PHONE RINGS" "Hello?" "Hello, Mr Lighton." "How are you?" "Erm, yes, I'll just give her a shout." "One second." "Mrs Lighton?" "Mrs Lighton?" "Mrs Lighton?" "It's your husband on the phone." "William." "So that's it?" "I can't bear this." "No, he'll be with Chloe." "I can't bear it." "Yes." "I can't bear it, William!" "I really, really think I'm doing the wrong thing." "Do you?" "Yeah." "Well, what's the alternatives?" "Maybe I could write." "I could write, maybe." "Yeah." "I write a lot." "Yeah." "Somehow." "Yeah." "It's not really what you do, it's more the intensity by which you do it." "I mean, by the conviction of your reality that you believe in, you'll make others believe in it." "You kind of can't make it up, really." "And then people get convinced, and even you, oneself, gets convinced, but there's no one, kind of, hidden track, you know, that's there, waiting for you." "It's..." "You've just got to step into it." "Whatever that is, and, you know, it takes, you know, one does all sorts of things with painting." "You do all the things that are not right, but they all contribute to the thing that will be right in the end." "It's never lost." "It's all accumulating, all building up in intensity." "But it's, it's not secure, is it?" "It's just not solid or anchored." "I'm just not sure." "You're quite held, aren't you?" "You've got to toughen up." "DOOR SLAMS" "FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS" "DOOR SLAMS" "Ed?" "Christopher's here." "Edward?" "Just came to say hello." "All right, well..." "Would be good to meet tomorrow." "Yeah." "OK." "Thank you so much for coming round." "Do you want a hand?" "Is it..." "Oh, I've cracked it, sorry." "Do you want me to put that back?" "Don't put that pin in me." "All right." "Thanks." "It's almost ready." "Where are the others?" "I think they're upstairs." " Well..." " Shall I go and..." "Are you ready to eat?" "Mmm, sure." "I'll go and tell them it's ready, yeah?" "Yeah." "Are you going or not?" " Mmm." " I can do it." "No, I'll go, I'll go." "KNOCK ON DOOR" ""Hello, Mummy." ""I've been a bad badger." ""I've been a bad, bad badger." ""And I'm sorry." ""Will you forgive me?" ""Rrrr!"" "SHE LAUGHS" ""Don't worry." "I'll look after you."" "Rose says supper's ready." "All right, I'll come down." "You're too scared, aren't you?" "You're too scared of having to face up to your own  than dare to look at somebody else's!" "You're so fucking selfish!" "I don't remember really going mad in London,  bringing up children by myself." "I am doing my best here to make sure  that Edward has a wonderful trip and a wonderful send-off." "I'm going to bed now." "And if you don't phone Edward tomorrow to say goodbye,  he will never forgive you either." "And you deserve all of it!" "You deserve all our hatred!" "I hate you!" "(SHE HANGS UP)" "Lasagne's delicious." "Good." "All right?" "Yeah." "He pulled me aside one day and said, "Christopher, I've been thinking." ""I don't think you should go to art school."" "And I thought, well, what, why?" "And he said, "I don't think you're tough enough."" "Erm..." "So I was completely devastated." "I was quite shy anyway, at that age, and I just didn't know what that meant, really, without losing my own, you know, sense of myself, who I was, you know." "I wasn't tough, Mr, kind of, leather jacket guy." "I was, you know, Marks and Spencer's Hush Puppies." "But I wanted to paint." "I had something I wanted to do, I deeply wanted to do." "And I think he thought that if I went to art school, that may be bashed out of me." "And therefore..." "I should not go, because that precious thing that was quite vulnerable anyway." "Well, it wasn't really vulnerable." "It was there, but it wouldn't have survived, you know, the criticisms of others." "So..." "I guess being tough is actually holding your course, in some way, and..." "Believing that thing inside of you that's really, really important to you." "Even though it's not defined, as yet, and you can't reveal it to others in its full, worldly sense." "But it takes a long time to..." "In a sense, fully come to that point." "For a lot of people, it's quick." "But for me it's taken a long time." "Which I'm kind of glad, because it means that I know the angles a bit more." "Now, if you were doing what I'm doing now, would you..." "Would you be wanting to do, to respond to this in lots of different ways at the same time, or would you stick to an idea, or a..." "A theme, I suppose I mean." "Well, I guess it has a certain amount of energy, so I would start with observing it in a very general sense." "Right." "Not committing to, you know, little rocks and waves, but go for the overall colour sequences, really, the keynotes, and then that would produce the sort of basic mood." "I mean, it's beautiful, because you've got that sort of violety-grey clouds, and that moves into the blues and the..." "And then, in opposition to that, you've got a slightly orangey-violety orange, violet coming through the orange, so there's a link there, and then you've got this beautiful, sort of, Royal Doulton cup" "and saucer green, you know, that sort of silvery green." "Yes, absolutely." "It is such a beautiful, sort of... erm..." "Well, it's symbolic of a place, and so..." "Yeah." "Yeah, it is." "That's my limit." "And when was that exhibition going to be?" "Well, it's, I don't know." "It's come from New York." "Oh, yes." "But it's early January." "Hi, Cynthia." "Christopher's here to say goodbye." "Where's Ed?" "I think he's upstairs." "Edward?" "Yeah?" "Christopher's here to say goodbye." "Hello." "Hello, Cynthia." " Goodbye." " Goodbye." " Thank you." " See you soon, I hope." "Yeah." "How much longer are you here for?" "Friday." "Be at my hilltop cottage." "Yeah, yeah." "Bye-bye, Ed." "This is it." "Bon courage." "Thank you." "I'll write you a letter, or something." "That would be great." "Bye-bye, Patricia." " I'll see you out." " All right." "Have a safe journey." " Bye." " Bye." " Bye, Christopher." " See you." "Thank you for everything." "Keep the good work up." "Certainly will." "I'll call you in a couple of weeks." "Right." "Bye." "As I can't communicate with you much," "I'm going to write little notes and put them in a little book." "And then send it to me?" "Well, I was thinking of keeping it until you got back." "Why?" "I don't know." "I keep thinking I can't send anything." "But if you write it, then you can't..." "Why don't you put them in the book and then send it to me?" "OK." "Like a book of post-it notes." "OK." "Or maybe I could just send each post-it note." "Yeah, OK." "Yeah." "Yeah." "What, like, "Went to this exhibition"?" "Yeah." ""Went to the theatre"." ""Went shopping"." ""Bought bananas"." ""Fed the cat"." ""Fed the cat"." " OK." " Yeah." " I'll do all that." " Right." "Yeah, be nice." "You will get them?" " At some point." " OK." "OK." "How does it look?" "Is that straight?" "Oh, sorry, Mum." "Tiny bit down on the right." "Tiny." "Doesn't want to, does it?" "It's all right, though." " It's fine." " It doesn't, you're right." "Feels smaller in here, with that up." "Yes, it does." "Still doesn't look straight." "The ceilings in here are wonky, though, right?" " That's right." " It's not just me." "No." "What are you doing, Mum?" "Just gathering." "A few books, a few papers." "Don't want to leave anything behind." "Mmm." "Oh, I've got one of your books." "Oh, have you?" "I'll give it back to you." "Which one?" "The Boyd." "Oh, great." "Did you enjoy it?" "I've barely started it." "You can read it on the train." "Yeah." "Yeah." "OK." "Morning." "Housekeeping." "Hello?" "Hello?" "We'll be right down." "Right." "We're kind of ready." "Yes." "What have you got in here?" " Oh, I'm so sorry." " Hello?" "OK, OK." "Sorry." "OK." "Erm..." " Cynthia?" " Yeah?" "Could you have a check in the kitchen for chargers and things like that?" "Yeah." "OK." "Erm, OK." "Quickly." "It's for you." "All clear." "Can you make sure you put these cases to one side, because they're for the boat." "Yeah." " Thank you." " God, that's heavy." "OK." "Erm, yeah, I think that's it." "Thanks!" "Bye!" "Just grab my bag." " Great." " Goodbye, thank you!" "Bye, thank you!" "Bye, house." "Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd" "# Don't forget about me" "# Before you fly away" "# Don't forget about me" "# While you're away" "# I know you understand" "# My heart is hidden away" "# I know you understand" "# There are many things to say" "# You're braver than me" "# You'll go far" "# You're braver than me" "# Yes you are" "# You're leaving us behind" "# There's nothing to fear" "# Don't worry about us" "# We'll still be here" "# To welcome you home" "# To welcome you home. #"