"I know this thing is made of calories, but it's so good!" "How do you say "garbage" in German?" "Tokio Hotel." "You heard about those huge sex parties on boats?" "Why do you ask?" "It seems kinda unpleasant." "If the boat is stopped, it works well." " You tried?" " I did diving." " You tried in a plane?" " Yeah, and you?" "Almost." "But we realized we left the condoms in the check-in bags." "And with a girl?" "You really wanna know this?" "Why?" "Well..." "Guys can't handle some things." "What happened with this girl?" "Who said just one?" "Wow, cool." " At the same time?" " No." "Two girls, two different times." "One time with one girl, and one time with another." " So, no threesome?" " No..." "Technically." "What?" "I was with more than one person once." "A four-way?" "A five-way?" "That's an orgy!" "Too much for you?" " No." " I don't wanna shock you." "No, I'm just surprised." "I was kidding." "You were?" "No." ""No" not kidding, or "no" it was true?" "Yes." ""Yes" you... ok you were kidding." "Right?" "It was a joke." "You got me!" "A five-way." "I'm not a slut." "Well..." "And it wasn't really a five-way, one of the guys was just filming." "That's too much." "I was kidding!" "Nothing New" "Created by Maykel Stone" "Episode 9- One flew over the cuckold's nest" "People think that gays can't be monogamous." "Johannes and I weren't a good example." "But now, we wanted to be like any other monogamous couple." "After all, our love was strong." "Justine, our new roommate, was looking for Mister Right." "Good." "It works." "Hello, I'm Justine." "Uh I'm..." "I'm 23." "My vital stats are 36-24-36." "Multiply by 2, divide by 3, minus 4 and keep 1." "I'm funny." "My favorite sports are swimming, hiking, and drinking." "I'm vegetarian or clitoral, depends on the restaurant." "No, that's not me." "Hi, I'm Justine." "Are you sensitive, with great values and good morality, looking for a friend to talk about anything?" "You're not my type, loser!" "I must be myself." "I must be true." "Who am I?" "I am... who?" "Ok." "Hi, I'm Justine." "I'm a girl..." "I am..." "I am..." "Uh..." "I am..." "Ok!" "I'm a girl..." "Hi, I'm Justine." "I'm a girl looking for a guy." "What are you doing?" "No!" "I'm not doing a video for a dating website!" "It's not true!" "This day, as I was going home," "I suddenly wanted to do something." "Buy a stupid magazine for men." "Meanwhile, at home, Johannes was calling his mother." "Johannes, are you daydreaming?" "I'm listening." "You were in my bedroom." "Yeah and I saw your first tennis racket." "The one with the little bear on it." "You were playing with it all the time... are you typing?" " What?" " It sounds like you're typing." " I'm not typing." " Sounded like it." " No." " You're surfing on internet?" " I'm listening!" " Johannes..." "Ok fine, I was typing." "For a minute." "How could you hear it?" "Mothers have a way to know things." "And you can't lie." "I wasn't lying!" "Honey, don't chew so loudly." "I also found your teddy bear." "Honey, if you need to type, I can call back later." "Then maybe you'll listen to me." "I did it so quietly!" "There is a camera?" "I can't talk with you if you don't focus." "I listen!" "Ok ok." "I also found..." "Honey, don't pluck your eyebrows, you'll leave scars!" "Justine was showing her apartment to a prospective buyer." "The basement is under the ground." "Which is normal." "There are four walls, all around the room." "The emergency exit is behind me." "Thank you for choosing me." "Everything seems perfect." "I still have to show the bed where we can fuck." "I mean, the room where you can sleep." "Or maybe you are free for a date, diner, a boat trip, a road trip, I'm talking too much..." "It would be a pleasure." "I live near." " What is it?" " A test." " About?" " To know if I'm good in bed." "I know that I am." "It's about your exes." "It's not that easy." "Do one-night stands count?" "I'm better than you." "I'm not sure." "Gimme that." " You did it in a plane?" " Yeah, back from Mauritius." "Everyone did it in a plane but me!" "I'm not sure it counts as public place." "As I said." "I'm the best." "Had sex in an unusual place?" "It was with Josh." "At his parents, in a farm." "The straw is not that comfortable." "I had a better place." "Really?" "Where?" "If you wanna know." "At a friend's birthday party." "I was drunk, and there was this guy I can't remember." "We had sex in the closet while everybody was dancing." "It was... wow!" " Great." " What?" "It was me." "This is unusual." "It's rare to have sex with the buyer." "It was a mistake!" "It's wrong!" "Why?" "Cause I'm falling in love with you and you are..." "What are you?" "Writer." "I write books." "If I tell my mother I'm in love with a guy who's not a lawyer, or doctor, and is goy..." "She'll die!" "What did you say? "Goy"?" " Yeah?" " You didn't see it?" "What?" "You're Jewish?" "It's perfect!" "You wanted to dump me cause I'm a writer." "Who's saying those stupid things with my voice?" "ENGLISH TRANSLATION Maykel Stone"