"MERRY CHRISTMAS, FRANK" "Hi, honey." " Has Christmas stress kicked in?" " No, it's nice and quiet." "We were just wondering if you had any gingerbread." " I'm not having any." " Can I have Casper's, then?" "What is this?" "You're fattening him." "You're a feeder!" "You have it on your butt!" " What are we having Christmas Eve?" " Stuffed turkey." "We'll do it American style with mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes,   gravy, stuffed turkey, jelly..." "The whole works." " Turkey is more lean." " And more dry." "Not if you stuff it with breadcrumbs and all that." " And then the paper socks." " Oh yes." "I'm quite good at it." " Do you want to cook it?" " I don't mind helping out." "I'll get some marshmallows." "It'll be a Nat King Cole Christmas." " You're nuts." " We'll have presents..." "... on the 25th." " No, no." "On the 24th." " 6. 50, there you are." " Thank you." "Wait, that's wrong." "It should have been 7.50." "Sorry." " Do you have 1 krone?" " It's okay." "No, no." "We don't want a reputation for cheating." " Mia is pretty, but a bit thick." " That wasn't very nice." " It was a joke." " Oh..." "Merry Christmas." "Don't humiliate me like that!" "And don't stand behind the counter." "I don't want you here." " I thought it was a larger amount." " Don't tell me off in public!" " You're doing the same thing now..." " Stop that!" "Take this to the bank." "It's today's earnings." " Weren't we going out for a beer?" " Bye, honey." "It'll come out there..." "How about texting Mia?" "Just to smooth things over." " She's alright." " If you love someone, tell them." " Yeah." "That's a good idea." " The atmosphere was a bit tense." "I'll send her a little nugget." "Just a simple "I love you" and perhaps a smiley." "A semicolon and a single bracket." "Then the head goes like this." "I'll send her this." "Casanova in a text message." "This is a robbery!" "Get over here!" "Come on, damn it!" "Go over there." "Stay where you are, and no one gets hurt." "Large notes and no ink cartridges, or else I'll blow your brains out." "Wallets." "And phones." "Phones!" "Chicken." "What about you?" "Come on!" "Nobody moves!" "Wristwatch... and jewelry." "How about you, gorgeous?" "Why, hello there, Frank!" "Are you blind?" "Don't you recognise me?" "From old times in Viborg." "Come on..!" " I can't see who you are." " Good to see you." " Happy Christmas." " Thanks." "You too." "Happy Christmas!" " Did you know him, Frank?" " He took my stuff as well." " I've never seen him before." " That's not how it looked." " Weren't you afraid?" " Yes." "I was scared stiff." "I'm g lad I sent you that text message, in case I'd been shot." " I didn't get any text message." " Yes..." "I sent you one." " It said "I love you"." " Well, I didn't get it." " I can't prove it without my mobile." " You can tell me instead." " Hi." "Merry Christmas." " You too." " That looks nice." "Bon appetite." " Thank you." "I've got a little surprise up my sleeve." "Bodil and I would like to see you for Christmas Eve." " That's sweet of you." " We can't, I'm afraid." " What are you doing?" " Casper and Iben are coming here." " But you're most welcome." " Really?" "Otherwise we'll be alone." "That would be nice." "Right, Frank?" "Then I can book the handicap van." "They're really busy, you know." "I'm just going to ask Casper if it's okay with him." "They think there's going to be four people, and suddenly there's six." " Well, I know Casper, so..." " Yes, of course." "It's just in case." " Is it wise to take Bodil home?" " Yes, I think she'll enjoy it." " She's brain-dead, right?" " They say they can sense Christmas." " I know she'll love it." " Good to see you, Jacob." "See you, then." "Why all the crisis counseling?" "I thought it was exciting." " Why not use commandoes in banks?" " I was waiting for a chance to..." "There it is." " That's the bank clerk, I presume?" " No, it's the flipover." "It's funny..." "I lost my mobile, you know." "First, I was gutted about losing all those babes' phone numbers..." "But it fits like a glove with my personal project." " I'm cleaning up my life." " In what way?" "I want to take this whole family package and open it." "Inside it is a big heart of love." "And it's fun." "I really enjoy it." "I've said to Iben, "Tomorrow, I'll pick up your son and cook."" " What about the beer club lunch?" " It'll all be business as usual." "I just won't get drunk." "And then I'll go and get her kid." " All this family crap is too much." " Look into your heart." " Don't you have anything to give?" " Yes, I'm incredibly giving." "Yesterday I said to The Gimp that he could come on Christmas Eve." " To serve?" " No, no." "He'll be joining us." "You know I don't like him." "It's great that you're seeing old friends,   but I'm not celebrating American Christmas with him." "You can see him the other 375 days of the year." "Christmas is Gimp-free." " It's 365 days." " He always says these stupid things." "About cheap cola and so on." "I don't want to breathe the same air as him!" " I've invited The Gimp and Bodil..." " Stop right there." " You can't be serious." "Not Bodil." " She can't sit alone." " She's paralysed, damn it!" " Yes, but he wants her there." "They're not into American Christmas, gingerbread and stuffed turkey." "They're into roast pork and gravy." " Well, he's coming." " Then I'm not coming." " You really disappoint me." " Likewise." " Hi, Frank." " You're welcome on Christmas Eve." " Really?" "You talked to Casper?" " Yes, I mentioned it." " Really?" "You talked to Casper?" " Yes, I mentioned it." "Did you hear that?" "Frank says we can come for Christmas." "Mia will be there as well." "She'll be really happy." "Hang on..." "Has she soiled herself?" "Something smells really awful." " You have to change her." " It's the herring, I think." "It's fermented herring from Sweden." "It was invented during WW2." " It's rotten fish in brine." " No!" " Yes." "It tastes delicious." " It's incredibly disgusting." "You get addicted to the stuff." "We have it every Christmas." " It's really good." " Yes, it is." "I'm going to give you all our extra tins." " No, no..." " Yes." "We have about 10." "That's okay, right?" "She doesn't eat so much now." " Did she say yes?" " Yes." " That's lovely, him being so happy." " He was overjoyed." "It's the best thing that's happened to him for years." " Why aren't you wearing your watch?" " The bank robber took it." " I told you." " No, you didn't." " Well, he took it, honey." " What a shame." "I gave it to you." "It's Santa Claus." "Hi, Frank." "Can we come in?" "Hi, Mia." "I'm taking him to the Christmas party in the nursery." " He's Father Christmas..." " It's too bad about Christmas Eve." "That's why I came." "I screwed up." "I'm really sorry." "We'd like to come after all." "Of course." "It's not up to me who you invite." "You like him, so I like him." " That's good." " Great." "Super-duper." "Feel free to sit me in between Bodil and The Gimp." "It's no problem." "You're lovely and forgiving." "Frank, you have it in you as well." " Casper, have you been drinking?" " I had a bitter dram." "Or two." "I had one when he woke up and one before we went." "That's fine." "No more." "Let's go." "See you in the beer club." "Bye, Father Christmas." "See you." "Super!" "In the kingdom of Christmas we're all equal." "Cheers!" "Oh boy." "Bad knee..." " Be quiet." "Frank is speaking." " Thanks, Jarl." "This is my first Christmas in the beer club." "To mark how much I've enjoyed being here " " I'd like to give you all a present." "It's fermented herring from Sweden." "It sounds gross and smells gross,   but it tastes fantastic." "Merry Christmas." " Beautiful." " Thanks a lot." " Nice tin." "Is it the Swedish flag?" " It's the Scanian flag." " This is for Gintberg and Hjortshøj." " Is Gintberg having one as well?" "What a lovely gesture." "It's really great to see." "I've been a bit up and down lately, you know..." " You left your wife, right?" " Yeah." "But I was thrilled when I got your text message." "You think, "Jesus, how am I going to cope? "" "Together, it's much easier." "Now I'm not afraid to say, "Count me in!"" " What are you talking about?" " The text message you sent me." " I haven't sent you anything." " Yes, you have!" "I saved it." "You can see it here." ""I love you"." "Plain and simple." "It doesn't get better than that." "You've misunderstood, Jarl." "I'm sorry, but it was meant for Mia." "She just never got it." "I'm sorry, but it was meant for Mia." "She just never got it." "I sent it to you by mistake." "This conversation never happened." " Where is that stripper?" " Bloody hell, Frank..." "It's time to pick up Carlo from the nursery." " Do it, then." " I can't drive." "I've had 8 of those." " You'll have to drive." "I'm drunk." " Let's go, then." "Merry Christmas." "Ho, ho, ho!" "Merry Christmas, guys." "Casper, we're at the nursery now." "I'll tell the staff that you passed out drunk in the car." "Come with Uncle Frank." "That's it." "Iben will be home soon, and we'll have lots of fun." "It'll be really nice." "Get in." "I'm lousy with kids." "You okay, Father Christmas?" "You can watch TV and eat sweets." "Mum will be here soon." "Are you okay, Christensen?" " Hi." "Here you are." " It didn't go quite as planned." " Hi, Mia." " Hi." "Good to see you." " Would you like a doughnut?" " I'd love one." " Where are the boys?" " Upstairs." "Casper is a bit tipsy." " Carlo, Mum is here." " Hi." "How was the Christmas party?" " That's not my kid." " Is it the wrong one?" "Wake up, you fat, drunken sod!" "Where is Carlo?" "You took the wrong kid!" "What the hell were you thinking?" "And now my boy is crying, because he hasn't been picked up!" " He's still there." "Take it easy." " No, I fucking won't!" "What if someone else picks him up?" " Let go of me!" " How could you take the wrong boy?" "They were all dressed as Father Christmas." " Iben, wait up..." " You frigging lunatic!" " How could you?" " It's like the Smurfs." "I don't want to hear another word." "Come on!" "Now I have to listen to all that crap..." "Sorry about that." " It's not funny, Casper." " We'll find the other boy." "Say sorry from me." " Casper, come on!" " I'm just saying Happy Christmas." "Happy Christmas." "Maybe we should do something else on the 24th." " Christmas Eve..." " You better get out there." "See you." "Iben, let's go to New York for Christmas!" " You big clown." " There were hundreds of them." " He had red hair." " You couldn't see it under the hat." " We've got a beard." " Now they're out for Christmas." "Look, honey!" "I don't find it very funny." "The doughnuts are ready now." " Alright." "No more?" " No." " Time for presents." " I'll take Bodil." " Time for presents." " I'll take Bodil." "Lots of good songs, eh?" "Let's see..." "Well, well!" "A present for me." "It's from you, honey." "Can I open it now?" " Gosh, honey!" " Do you like it?" " Frank's watch got stolen." " Look at this." " Ask me." " What's the time?" " It's quarter past eight." " Twenty past, actually." "Here's a present for Jacob." "From Bodil." " Bodil's been shopping as well." " I bought it myself." "Look." "It's Braun, 300 watt." "Thanks a lot, honey." " Well done, Bodil." " This is for you, Frank." ""Indiana Jones is cool." "He reminds me of you."" ""From me, and Bodil as well."" "Wow!" "An Indiana Jones whip!" " Do you recognise it?" " Yes!" "What a great present." "How about having the rice dessert now?" "Wouldn't that be nice?" "I'll go and get it ready." " Shall I bring some plates up?" " I'm really happy with this, Jacob." "Is it in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" that he fights the Nazis?" "I want a Nazi next year, so I can thrash him with my whip." "I put out a candle!" "Alright." "Bad Nazi!" "This is fantastic." "It's so cool." " Here's the rice dessert." " The climax of the evening." "Lovely." "Rice dessert..." " She's got a beard." " I put a Christmas beard on her." "I was afraid she felt left out..." "Just leave her." " Now she's more included." " That's nice of you." " Time for rice dessert." " Could you hand out the plates?" "Bodil and I would like to say thank you for a great Christmas." "Tomorrow is the day to have fermented herring." "In Sweden, they eat it on Christmas Day." "Remember that the tins are pressurised." "You need a wet cloth." "Otherwise they'll explode." "The first time I had it, it sprayed all over my clothes and the walls." " I stank of fish for two weeks." " Get home safely." "Frank!"