"Trick or treat." "Halloween's tomorrow." "I'm beating the holiday rush." "Trick or damn treat." "It's three in the afternoon." "So if I ask you the time, you'll give me the candy." "Where's the costume?" "What're you supposed to be?" "I'm shooting for unimpressed stranger." "How am I doin' so far?" "You know what?" "Why don't you go find a real costume and come back when you're six years younger." "All right?" "You mean you and your boyfriend don't have any bonbons you can spare?" "We have a whole tribe of Oompa Loompas in the back cranking out everlasting gob stoppers by the truck load, but you, little Miss Disgruntled, are going hungry." "I'll put you down for tricks." "It's trick or treat." "Trick, singular." "No tricks." "No plural." "I got your candy, little girl." "I got a love piñata." "Swing away!" ""Petty men walk under his huge legs and peep about to find ourselves..."" "Don't pick up." "What if it's for me?" "It's not." "It could be." "But it's not." "I have friends." "Since when?" ""We're not in right now, so why not take this opportunity to sign up for the Cook County Naturalist Great Lake Booze Cruise..." "What?" "I could have friends." "And of course tomorrow night the Sun Times sponsored Halloween cancer stomp at Club Gomorrah's." "Leave it at the beep."" "Trevor, do you mind telling me what's on our machine?" "Hi Champ, this is Adele, from last night at Taggerty's, remember?" "Anyway, the offer still stands." "Call me." "The offer still stands!" "Nice-ness." "That sounds like casual sex." "You gonna call her back?" "Can't do it." "Can't do it?" "You know how other guys can go home with whoever and whatever." "Not me." "I always end up in a relationship." "I guarantee you, I call Adele back, the next thing you know" "I'm spending Thanksgiving at her grandparents' house or front row at her brother's trade school graduation." "That's-- that's not good." "Tell me about it." "Just once I'd like to know how the other ninety-nine percent lives." "Tomorrow night, you're coming with me." "Oh no." "Trick or treat!" "This is a fire hazard, you know." "You could be fined." "Just think." "One candy bar and I would have been on my way." "If I give you a couple of truffles, can I suggest places for you to go?" "I'll see you around." "Don't go to any special trouble there, MacGuyver." "Real nice job." "Okay, Anna, just calm down, all right." "Now, have you asked your husband to come in and see me with you?" "Couples therapy is more effective when I get to speak with both partners." "All right, but if things are really that bad..." "Okay." "Just promise me you'll try." "All right." "Good night." "Do I have to remind you that punctuality is a requirement?" "No, but I so love your voice, let's hear it anyway." "Trevor, one letter from me and you know where you're going." "I wouldn't have been cured if I arrived half an hour ago." "I'm not deaf, Trevor." "Or mute." "When's the last time you had sex?" "That is none of your business." "No, see it is my business 'cause I am Chairman of the bed board" "CEO of Coitus Inc, and I'm telling you you're cranky." "Oh and like so many men you think the cure for crankiness..." "Is a good..." "Careful now." "Man." "Sometimes it's really hard to find Mr. Right." "Do us all a favour:" "find Mr. Right Now." "Very funny." "Ladies tell me, why is it whenever you get asked to dance you get this look?" "It's like you've just been asked for your bone marrow." "Oh. "Asking to dance"." "That must be when you stumble into a girls night out and then ask the largest pair of breasts at the table if you've seen them there before." "Well, maybe if you had your girls night out at places other than DecaD. and Club Gomorrah's we might be a little less confused." "Well, you see the problem is men go out to the clubs with an agenda and I think we all know what that agenda is." "Women, typically, are looking for a fun night out." "Please." "Someone tell Cindy Lauper back there that clubs have nothing to do with fun." "Okay Laurence..." "No." "They are about sweating it." "Do I make enough money?" "Does this shirt match?" "Has she heard this line before?" "Will I make it pass the "you must be this tall to enter night club" sign?" "Okay, okay Tina..." "Or in your case, will he be willing to spring for my cab fare home?" "All right, all right..." "Stand up and say that." "All right..." "She went there." "Thank you." "Obviously Halloween has everyone a little worked up." "Next to New Year it's probably the worst night of the year to be single." "Everyone you know is having a party, right?" "Every night club in town that serves a drink with the word "orgasm" in it, plans an event designed to send you home with some new anonymous "friend"." "Yes?" "What's your professional opinion of meat markets, then?" "Overall?" "I'd say they're places to find sex, not relationships." "And since it's relationships we're looking for..." "Can you back up the sex part?" "Is that all you're looking for?" "Sometimes." "That's what I'm talking about, right there!" "It doesn't really matter 'cause it's impossible to meet women in those places, anyway." "Yeah, he's right." "It's so dark in those places for all you know you could be working your juju on Muffy the dog faced girl." "Oh nice." "Besides the music is too loud in those dance clubs to even talk." "Well, that's why they're called dance clubs." "Well, if you can't talk then what's the point?" "Music, friends, fully stocked bar." "You should try thinking outside of that box, Larry." "It's Laurence, and I'm telling you those places are a waste of money." "Hey, hey, hey." "You wouldn't know a good time if it gave you a reach around." "Listen, tomorrow night is Halloween and it's Saturday night." "How often does that happen?" "About every seven years." "Exactly." "That's why it's time to knock the cobwebs out, all right." "Time to leave your inhibitions at home for the weekend." "If you guys sleep tomorrow night you deserve to be single." "And for those of you who don't, those brave men and women who go forth and attempt to multiply, to you I tip my cap." "You have my respect." "And to show you my respect, after all the Halloween festivities come down to Taggerty's." "I will give you my special hangover remedy." "Come and join me, good people." "All right!" "Tomorrow night we're out for a bit of sin." "All right." "I think I've seen enough." "Speak for yourself, honey." "Oww!" "That's gotta hurt!" "Dr. Claire Allen from the Sun Times spoils Adam's perfect score!" "So this notable psychologist I heard... when was it?" "Oh yeah, it was last night." "Was saying this is the sorta place one goes for sex not when one is looking for relationships." "I didn't come here looking for a relationship." "Really?" "Then you might want to undo a couple of those buttons." "Or sex." "Oh!" "This is where you thought the Saul Bellow book signing was?" "That's a common mistake." "Trevor, I have to be here, okay." "I have to." "I'm working." "Really?" "When does your shift start?" "Oh, very funny." "For the newspaper, Trevor, okay?" "I didn't want to." "They made me." "What about you, huh?" "Am I to assume from your choice of outfits tonight, that you guys are exploring alternative lifestyles?" "I am Cupid, all right?" "Where ever there's men, women and alcohol that's where I will be found." "Recipe for romance." "More romances have resulted from that particular combination than of five hundred years of sonnets." "Really?" "Yeah." "I don't think there's enough alcohol in Chicago to hook up that posse of yours." "So now they're my posse?" "Oh, good luck." "A milkman?" "!" "Mike, what the hell were you thinking, man?" "!" "All right, man, all right, fine." "Check the album covers." "In the early days one of them was a milkman." "What's this?" "This is a typical night in one of these places." "I understand that, Man of Milk, but let me tell you something, it's not Fantasy Island." "Women are not gonna morph out of coconuts and wrap their limbs around you." "You gotta get out there and get in to it." "Ask someone to dance." "So they can shoot you down?" "No way, man." "I'm not giving them the pleasure." "Look Trevor, I'm taking a cab home." "And do what?" "Log onto the internet?" "Cinemax." "How 'bout try one night with flesh and bone women?" "Seriously, Trevor, the rejection is hard to take." "Rejection is good and good for you." "My man, listen, rejection means you are in the game." "I tell you what, the object of tonight is to collect rejections." "And the winner is the guy who, come dawn, has collected the most." "One of you let me know when he starts making sense." "Bottle of Crystal for the winner." "I'm not doing this." "Champ-a-roony, join the ninety-nine percent!" "It's international freaky-deaky night!" "Come on!" "It's a no lose situation." "You're either racking up points or you're dancing with Miss Hawaiian Tropic, all right?" "Okay." "Yeah." "All right." "To make it a little more interesting, gentlemen, the guy who gets turned down the least, buys that bottle of Crystal." "Let me get this straight." "The winner is the guy who gets shot down the most?" "Exactly." "I can do that." "Gentlemen, I want you to get out there and party like it's 1999." "Party like it's two months from now?" "Yee haw!" "Hey there, beautiful!" "Doesn't look too hard." "Okay, here it goes." "I am the chocolate lover from planet Funktron." "You will be my mistress of dance." "Okey-dokee." "Mr. Right down there?" "My turn-ons are virtue and kindness, Trevor." "This hormonal petri dish is probably not the place" "I'm gonna find those qualities." "You won't find your dream man until guys start wearing their resumes on their chests." "Not a bad idea, women have been doing it for centuries." "That's figurative." "Oh, never mind." "I am looking for someone who is... scratch that." "I'm not even actively looking, okay?" "And I am not desperate, I am really open, open to the possibilities of finding someone." "Someone with similar belief systems, similar interests, life goals, someone compatible," "Trevor, not some disco boy toy." "You know what the irony is here?" "Even if you found him, you'd hate him." "Really?" "Excuse me, can I get a Rusty Nail?" "Thank you." "I'd hate him?" "Yes, that doesn't make any sense." "You know what, I'm going to prove it." "How are you going to do that?" "Excuse me." "You are a dead ringer for my mom." "Wanna boogie?" "You don't, by any chance, believe in a dilatory progression of romantic development?" "No, I'm like every other guy here tonight." "I'm just lookin' to get laid." "Oh, great." "Okay." "Happy hunting." "Bartender!" "Yeah, I don't mean to sound like I'm braggin' but just so you know, I can touch my eyebrows." "So?" "With my tongue." "Ugh!" "So I guess a dance is outta the question?" "Excuse me, would you dance with me?" "Grow up!" "Come on, let's dance." "Do you mind?" "You don't want to dance do you?" "No." "No." "You don't want to dance..." "Tequila shot!" "Lick it." "Lick it." "Drink it." "Drink it." "Suck it!" "Hey, you wanna dance..." "Tequila shot!" "All right decadancers!" "It's time for Gomorrah's dance contest!" "So, if you've got it, I want to see you flaunt it!" "Score!" "We are so gonna win this contest!" "Yo, dance contestants!" "If you get yo' self tapped, yo' tapped" "Get yourself off the floor!" "Man, you suck at this game." "Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful." "Actually I love you, 'cause you're gonna be buying me some champagne." "Oh, wait a minute there, cowboy." "Excuse me, miss." "Yeah?" "Can you explain to me Strasberg's elaboration on the Stanislavsky Method?" "What?" "No." "Are you sure?" "I said no!" "Rusty Nail, please." "Excuse me." "I think the Counting Crows are derivative neo-hippie, self-indulgent hacks providing a lifestyle soundtrack for annoying self-aware yuppies in training." "I think anyone who sells a trillion records will suffer a critical backlash at the hands of musical dilettantes." "So, you like them?" "They're great." "You got a job?" "I'm a writer." "Single?" "Who wants to know?" "Anna, Anna, I am sure he is somewhere." "No, no, no." "He hasn't left you." "Okay, you know what, you're panicking." "Just calm down, okay." "No, no, no." "I know." "It's no problem." "Really." "I told you to call me anytime." "Right." "Okay, good." "You're feeling better." "Good." "All right." "Goodnight." "There she is." "Right there." "What did I tell you." "No missing teeth." "I'm sorry, sir." "Is my monkey bothering you?" "She's a feisty one, isn't she?" "Claire Allen, I want you to meet a friend of mine." "He admits to liking Counting Crows, your fave, he's a writer,does not want to move to the suburbs, although he's not opposed to having children, not an avid church goer but does believe in a higher power." "Tink!" "You know what I'm saying?" "Yeah." "And, uh, Alex, I'd like you to meet Claire." "She owns a lot of really nice shoes." "Oh thanks." "Well, it's nice to meet you." "You too." "They touch." "They touch." "So, uh, and Alex won a prize." "He won some sort of prize." "Tell her about your prize." "Oh yeah, the Pulitzer." "No." "Something about a punt, pass and kick?" "Oh my god." "You're Alex DeMuoy?" "Hold on." "You never mentioned you're French." "You're the reason I'm spending my Saturday night at this hell hole." "Claire Allen." "You're much prettier in person than you are in your column photo." "You guys have a lot in common." "You do." "Over achievers together again." "So, I'm gonna let you talk." "I'm gonna leave you alone." "Okay." "Baby, baby, baby you sure must be tired." "Why is that?" "'Cause of the way you've been running around in my dreams every night." "Try again." "What?" "Come on, you can do better than that." "So, sweet thing, have I told you..." ""I have a beautiful body"?" "Oh my god, you are dusting off the oldies." "Okay, okay, wait." "How about this one." "It's one of my favourites." ""Listen, my buddies are gonna be taking off, so you think maybe later on you can give me a ride"." "Heh, that's a good one." "Sure fire." "What's your name?" "Nick." "Nick?" "Oh my god." "That is so perfect." ""Yo, it's Nick!", "Nicky!", "Slick Nick!"." "Nick, I'm Heidi." "Let's dance." "Hey, hey..." "I can touch my eyebrows..." "So, here you are, by yourself." "Just like I said." "Even if you met the man who met the criteria, the Dr. Claire Allen love expert checklist for a lasting match." "Either he wouldn't excite you or you'd run him off." "Which was it?" "Neither, actually." "Oh, hey Alex." "Do you think we could get out of here and find someplace to be alone." "Yeah, yeah." "We could do that." "Here, Trevor." "This'll give you something to hold on to." "Good boy." "Come get shot by Cupid!" "Yeah!" "You've been shot by Cupid, babe!" "You've been shot by Cupid!" "No, no, no." "Don't do that." "Did you have a particular place in mind?" "Alex, you know what I said back there about wanting to find a place to be alone..." "Yeah?" "Well, I, you know, I just..." "I didn't know what I was doing." "So, um, it's late." "I'm really tired." "I'm just going to get a cab." "I'll give you a lift." "You know, I just don't think so." "Okay, Alex, first of all, you are the associate managing editor of the Sun Times and that makes you, in some very strange way, my boss." "Second, you are at a club called Gomorrah's, which puts you in any number of high risk categories." "Third, you are responsible for me being here tonight." "Can I take those in order?" "Because, first, I've asked to go back to reporting," "I'm a reporter, not an editor." "Second, I'm also here because I have to be." "It's a newspaper spon- sored charity fundraiser." "Third, we pay you a lot of money to be our singles columnist so I don't think we're asking too much that you show up to a singles sponsored event." "So..." "Yeah, yeah." "Okay." "Our remaining contestants are going strong!" "Listen, why don't we go outside and... talk." "Why?" "Are you tired?" "Uh, no, but, you know..." "Okay, great!" "There's this song I really want to dance to." "Come on." "Excuse me, people!" "Excuse me, do you have any tattoos I can read?" "That wasn't bad." "It wasn't?" "I'll try again." "I want to see you move." "Come on." "Would you like to dance?" "Hey!" "I know you." "You were on that episode of Sunset  Vaughn." "You played that reckless rookie detective who got shot because of his disregard for protocol." "Well..." "You're an actor?" "You certainly are popular." "Hello, Anna." "Okay." "Anna..." "Anna hold on, okay." "I..." "He is?" "Tonight?" "Uh, can it wait till Monday morning?" "I'll clear my schedule?" "All right." "Meet me..." "in thirty minutes." "Yes, yes." "Relax." "I will see you there." "Okay." "Change of plans." "Can you drop me off at my office?" "Yeah." "Yeah, sure." "Great." "Thank you." "Hold on." "Hold on." "Will ya, Johnny?" "Hey there, dolly." "Hey how ya doin'?" "It's a cold night, huh?" "Hadn't noticed." "No?" "You will." "Hey, you ever see that movie with Julia Roberts?" "Pretty Woman." "Looked like a lot of fun didn't it?" "Huh?" "How 'bout Night Shift?" "Could you let me out here please?" "Thanks for splitting a ride but I'm gonna get out here, though, and get some.." "...hemlock." "Hey, you looking for work?" "Hello?" "Oh, it's the artist formerly known as Prince." "He'd like his clothes back." "You laughing at me?" "Stop the car." "Wait a minute." "Hey you street walking piece of trash..." "Hey!" "Hey!" "You got a permit for that thing?" "You know what, officer, actually," "I happen to be the city's only twenty-four hour moyel." "Really?" "Well, I got a note from my rabbi that allows me to carry this little problem solver right here." "So why don't you get back in your car and move on." "Very well." "I'm sure I'll see you later." "You know what, you won't." "I think a thank-you is in order." "Don't count on it Starsky." "Excuse me, Miss?" "Can I please borrow a pen?" "Thank you." "Excuse me, sir." "Could you please play this for me?" "Never in a million years." "Please?" "Please?" "Please?" "!" "Look, there's a shuffle board tournament across the street, maybe they'll play it." "You suck!" "You're the suckiest suckmeister ever." "Hey, yo!" "'Scuse me, man." "Hey, listen man, can you play this song for me, man?" "Now this I can get on." "Hey, I appreciate it." "...of course they were gay." "What planet are you from?" "Nah, no, I'm telling you..." "I mean I don't know about the rest of 'em guys, but the cowboy was a straight shooter." "So what do you do, Nick?" "Does it matter?" "No." "I'm just making conversation." "Radio Shack." "I'm the manager." "How 'bout you?" "I'm an activities director." "What?" "Like on the Love Boat?" "Volleyball and swimming pools?" "Tan line contests?" "No." "At a home for people with Alzheimer's." "Oh." "Uh, you know, I have one of those clock alarm radios and I only get a two minute snooze." "You know anything about that?" "Two minute snooze?" "!" "That's unacceptable.Bring it in, we'll exchange it." "But I didn't get it there." "Hey, I'm the manager." "That deejay... you know, people like that, they're evil!" "They should live on an island where..." "Yo!" "Now for a special request!" "That's my song!" "They're playing my song!" "There's no time limit, you know." "Consider chewing." "So, what's your story?" "Local girl makes good in big city." "So, how long do you think you can survive on just candy?" "Some people were a lot more generous than you, but I don't have to make it that long because I'll find Gary soon." "Gary?" "My boyfriend." "Kind of an extended hide-n-go-seek, huh?" "That's not a good sign." "Well no, he doesn't even know I'm here, in Chicago." "Right." "How old is Gary?" "Twenty." "Twenty." "Really?" "Won't he be a bit surprised to see you?" "Well, we're in love." "You are?" "It's obvious you don't know anything about love." "No I don't." "Explain it to me." "Really, true love." "Tell me, how'd you two soul mates meet?" "At the Custard Queen." "Custard Queen?" "That's where I work, worked, in Urbana." "His bike was leaking oil so he pulled off the interstate and fixed it in our parking lot." "He was so cute." "So, I went out and got him a vanilla cherry cone." "Isn't that actually how they met in The English Patient?" "Anyway, he went back and forth between Urbana whenever he could get off at work, well that is until my dad found out." "Ah." "Pops took exception, huh?" "Said that if he ever saw him again he'd kill him." "I explained to him that we were in love, but he doesn't care." "He doesn't know anything about love, either." "That's why I left home." "How old are you?" "Older than Juliet in Romeo and Juliet." "Juliet." "Remind me, how'd that story end?" "Alex, thank you for walking me up," "I appreciate it, but I can handle things from here." "I have a morbid fascination to see this thing play out, besides you never know when these things can get really ugly." "Well I'm pretty confident I can..." "That party was important to me, Francis, and you left!" "I can't believe you!" "Oh please turn down the volume, Anna." "This is why the police showed up at the house." "Hi Anna." "Mr. Barone, great to finally meet you." "Why don't you come in." "I'm Claire Allen." "That's nice." "This gentleman who is just leaving is..." "Alex DeMouy." "Hey, Congressman." "Long time, no see." "So where is Gary, now?" "I'm not sure." "I had the address, but when I knocked some chick answered the door and said she never heard of him." "I must have written it down wrong." "So,what're you doin'?" "Just hoping to bump into him?" "Well, he's a mechanic." "I'm checking every garage." "So, I'll find him." "So when I couldn't find him anywhere" "I went down to the basement and I caught him red-handed." "With the other woman?" "A woman?" "No." "No, no, no." "I was watching ESPN." "ESPN?" "I'm here at 4 in the morning because of ESPN?" "Yeah." "He was watching cricket, live from India." "Okay, Anna, we're making some real progress here." "Francis has agreed to get rid of the satellite dish." "Do you think that's an appropriate compromise?" "Yes, I do" "So, have you worked with Samuel Jackson?" "I did this audience response commercial for Sphere." "What was he like?" "He was cool." "Yeah?" "You are so beautiful." "You wanna see my portfolio?" "Okay." "Why not, huh?" "Why not?" "You got a nice place here." "I'll pass that on to my decorator." "Did she give you any sign, any kind of clue at all, that she was going to do this?" "No." "Well, she told me a few days before the wedding that she thought camaros were lame." "But I thought that she was yanking my chain." "So, anyway, I'm standing there in this rented tux, the whole family's there." "My brother Carl, he's stationed in Germany, he flew home for it." "After a while, you know, it gets pretty obvious what's happening and I could hear my mom and she's just crying." "That's just what kills me, my mom crying." "So then, what'd you do?" "Well, I put a new engine in that camaro, and I promised myself I would" "I would never let that happen to me again." "I need you to get me something." "Uh-huh." "Over there, on the shelf." "Huh?" "Oh." "Yeah." "Careful." "So, while you were working with Samuel Jackson, did he tell you any Quentin Tarantino stories?" "Well, not really." "You're a fan, huh?" "Well, yeah." "Aren't you?" "He's directed a couple of things that I've liked." "Yeah, but I don't think they give him the credit he deserves as an actor." "He's brilliant, right?" "I mean, he's done Broadway and everything." "Oh, you think he's good, don't you?" "What do you think your parents are up to now?" "They're asleep?" "I don't think so." "I bet they haven't slept since you left." "Well, maybe they should have thought about that before threatening to kill Gary." "Oh, yeah." "Your father ever bad to you?" "No." "You got a nice house?" "You have your own room?" "Yeah, I guess." "Yeah." "Where you sleeping now?" "Here and there?" "Park benches, run away shelters." "That's nice." "Your buddy Prince was right about one thing, it's gonna get really, really cold here in Chicago." "Well, I'll find Gary before that happens." "Yeah." "Gary your true love?" "Yeah, he is." "How long does true love last?" "Forever." "Yeah?" "Think it'll last till you graduate?" "You got a quarter?" "You're asking me?" "Frankie?" "Hello." "Hey, it's me." "What're you doing up?" "It's 5 in the morning,Trevor." "It's five in the morning, Claire." "So?" "So, what're you doing up?" "Claire?" "You gonna show up at Taggerty's later?" "Claire?" "I'm a big girl, Trevor." "I can take care of myself." "Goodnight." "So, I guess we didn't end up here by accident." "...a pair of D sized batteries," "I thought they would've lasted longer than that." "It's not your fault." "You were totally right about the William Tell Overture," "I mean I never would have thought..." "What's that thing, what's that red light over there?" "Oh that, that's the video camera." "Why is it moving?" "Is it moving?" "Henry, honey, could you try holding the camera steady." "Sorry love." "What's tomorrow's paper gonna say?" "Oh, strikes, scandals, Bears need help in the secondary." "Nothing about.." "Not unless you put it in your column." "Alex, can I tell you something." "Seeing you, taking care of that child..." "I don't know, something inside of me melted and I never would have guessed" "I would have felt like that." "I stumbled onto the most basic way to judge a man." "Who are you calling at this time in the morning?" "No one important." "Weird, isn't it?" "What?" "How falling in love can completely screw up your entire life." "Well, if you're ever in Urbana there's a custard cone with your name on it." "I told you, my people are more into donuts." "Dude, I know you're not a cop." "Oh, and Gary will wait for me." "He will if he's smart." "You're gonna get passed this someday, you know?" "You sure about that?" "Mm-hm." "Same thing happened to me, sort of." "Tell me." "This guy said he wanted to marry me and I believed him." "Last day I saw him was the day I told him I was two weeks late." "Late for what?" "Turned out to be a false alarm." "There aren't many nice guys out there, Nick." "So, you gonna kiss me or what?" "It's 6 AM folks!" "You can keep dancing but I'm going home!" "Oh..." "look at that." "Congratulations." "Well played, well played." "Pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen." "Claire should be here." "It would make her so proud." "So?" "You're in the Jacuzzi." "Come on." "Nah." "I not the kind to kiss and tell." "Yeah, but you don't mind telling us that you're buck naked in a hot tub with a supermodel." "Yeah well, a man's gotta draw the line somewhere." "You are so the man." "Hey guys, I will see you later and Trevor, thank you for the beverage." "No problem, Les." "Hey, you didn't pull the trigger, did you?" "Casual sex is out there, just waiting for you." "Maybe, but there's only so far I'll go to get it." "Man, you are a fool." "She was luscious." "Hey, Larry!" "Wow, dig that costume." "It's cool." "Maybe just, you know, a tad corny." "My people call it maize-y and the name is Laur..." "There he is." "Hey, fellas." "What's happening?" "Hey!" "Hey, kemo sabi!" "The straggler." "Hey." "Hey, what, what is this?" "All right, all right." "We haven't heard from the cowboy." "Don't hold out on us, what happened?" "I saw you talking to,what looked like, a woman." "The master takes no prisoners, guys." "So, what'd you do?" "Use that stupid camaro story to seal the deal?" "Sure fire." "You gonna call this woman?" "Nah." "Nah." "She's not my type." "So, FYI guys, "Ladies Night" next weekend." "Anybody interested, huh?" "No!" "Uh-uh!" "No way!" "No?" "!" "Gentlemen..." "I got handcuffed!" "You're ready for anything now." "Listen, we get some bail money and everybody wins." "Let's do it guys!" "Come on!" "You're in." "Uh, well, this is me." "If anyone asks, we met through mutual friends, ok?" "I have friends." "Yeah, so do I. So, we could have." "Would you like to come in for coffee?" "Just so you know, I'm trying to preserve my chi." "I kinda have this tantric..." "Very nice, but really, I just wanted to make sure you didn't fall asleep on your drive home." "Well, since you put it that way... coffee it is."