"Man:" "Run!" "Get as far away from the fallout as possible." "What the hell was that?" "What the fuck is going on?" "Did you see that?" "Man:" "I can't breathe out here." "Come on, we got to keep moving." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Move!" "Man:" "It's Chenobyl all over again." "Come on!" "Santa!" "Move your fat ass!" "Move it!" " Woman:" "What is that?" "Keep going." "Move, don't stop." "Move, go, go." "Get out of my fucking way!" "Man:" "There is no escaping!" "(commotion)" "Whoa!" "Man:" "Holy shit, look!" "Oh my god!" "Oh my god!" "Did you see that?" "What the hell was that man?" "What the hell?" "Holy shit, look at all that radiation." "Santa:" "Give me your fucking hand!" "(commotion)" "We gotta get out of here." "We got to keep moving" "(explosion)" "(high pitched ringing)" "(machine gun fire)" "(men shouting)" "My arm!" "(screaming)" "Hold it!" "Hold your fire!" "Hold your fire!" "Man:" "You sons of the bitches!" "(machine gun fire) -(men shouting)" "(man screaming)" "Man:" "Misfire!" "Misfire!" "Move it!" "Keep moving!" "Come on!" "Come on, move." "Militant:" "Take him out, boy!" "Come on!" "(gunfire)" "Man:" "Move!" "Man 2:" "Help me." "Please!" "We got to go!" "We got to go!" "Now!" "(helicopter blades thudding)" "Jesus Christ!" "Got to get out of here!" "Come on!" "(woman screaming)" "Shit!" "Woman:" "Seriously, stop firing!" "(screaming) -(commotion)" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Don't... stop!" "(heavy breathing) -(growling)" "(groaning)" "(growling)" "(spluttering)" "(coughing)" "(growling)" "(muffled shouting)" "(heavy breathing) -(disorientated noises)" "Go... go... go!" "(muffled shouting)" "You look hungry." "How about a sandwich?" "Hazard!" "Two..." "Battle..." "Nine iron!" "I got a little test for ya!" "Give it up!" "You want me under that mistletoe you better hurry up." "Go away, come on!" "Man:" "Hey Frosty!" "Come on, I'm sporting wood!" "(rumbling)" "(man screaming)" "News reporter:" "Inthesummerof2013 , adeadlyvirushad been accidentlyreleased froma scientific researchcenter andkilled thousandsofpeople." "Theauthoritiesdenied theexistenceof suchvirus, inorderto avoid amassivepanicsituation." "Buta fewdayslater, thevirusmutated andthecorpsesstartedto riseup." "Asinglephysicalcontact fromaninfected willturnyouinto oneofthem." "Thevirustookover intheWestCoast andspreadtowardsthe east andnothingseemstostop it." "(sirens blare)" "(growls)" "Presenter:" "KPRS News Live at tenPM." "Highestdefinition." "Tonight'stopstories withMarvinGloat, onlyonKPRSNews." "(growling)" "Stay dead!" "Bob:" "Hey, Marvin." "Whatthe..." "Oh ,shit!" "(panting)" "Bob:" "We're live, Marvin." "Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our normally scheduled broadcast to bring you a special report." "I am" "Oh, sweet mother, have mercy." "I've been bit, Bob." "Bob:" "Shit." "Bob, I've been bit." "Keep the camera rolling, Bob." "Speeding,boss." "Keep it rolling." "I've been reporting the nightly news for the last 20 years." "And I'm not about to let these zombie sons of bitches stop me." "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Marvin Gloatt Live." "And I am Marvin Gloatt." "The news you need, from the people you trust." "(growling)" "I said, stay" "(TV static)" "It was sadness that I report to you tonight that this zombie epidemic has not been contained." "Ladies and gentlemen, the human race has had its day." "Now, we are living in Zombieworld." "As researchers desperately scour their expansive heads trying to find clues as to what may have caused the zombie apocalypse some are turning to the past." "We take you now, to the place where the first clash between the living and the dead occurred, more than 2000 years ago." "(heavy breathing)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(continues speaking in Spanish)" "(both speaking in Spanish)" "(sobbing)" "(speaking in Spanish) -(women sobbing)" "(all cheering)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(roaring)" "(screaming)" "(screaming) -(louder screaming)" "(screaming) -(growling)" "(screaming)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(growling)" "(screaming)" "(heavy breathing)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(growling) -(screams)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(choking)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(zombie cowboy speaking in Spanish)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(zombie cowboy laughs)" "(gunfire)" "(screams)" "(fighting noises)" "(growling)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(growling)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(growls)" "(yells)" "(squealing) -(speaking in Spanish)" "(screaming)" "(laughs)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(growling) -(screaming)" "(Jesus screaming)" "(screams)" "(growling)" "(screams)" "(Jesus groans)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(TV static)" "Yes, indeed." "Zombies didn't stand a chance against him." "May he be with us now in our darkest hour." "Right, Bob?" "Bob:" "Amen to that, brother." "Yes, Bob." "Are you afraid?" "Fuckingfreakingoutman !" "Good Bob, good." "Keep rolling, Bob." "At all cost, keep rolling." "Mother fucking zombies." "Ladies and gentlemen, stay tuned to KPRS for minute by minute reports and updates on how to survive in Zombieworld." "And now, a public safety announcement." "Announcer:" "Have people aroundyoubegantochange?" "Dotheyseemstrange?" "Producestrangesounds?" "Oh,andwantto eatyourbrain?" "WelcometoZombieworld." "Howtosurvive azombieapocalypse." "(whispers) Thiscansaveyourlife ." "(brakes screech)" "Themostimportantthing isnotto panic." "Youaregonnahavetokill somezombies." "So,let'sgettoit." "Thoroughly studythesituation." "Then,armyourself." "Thezombiesareprettyslow  andunintelligentbeings." "Butforsomestrangereason, inmanycases, theycatchtheirvictims." "Sobeextremelycareful." "Howtoidentifyzombies, youask?" "Usually, theyarestumblingaround holdinga pieceof limb." "Theyaremissingparts oftheirhead, havesunkeneyes,and  producea soundlikethis... (groaning sound)" "Youcankillthem bydestroyingtheirbrain orblowingahole in their head." "Ifyouuseagun,  itisbettertowait  until they get a little closer, tomakesurethat youwillhitthe target." "Butdon'tgettoo close." "Shootthemin thehead!" "And,asalways, watchyoursurroundings, becausezombiestravel inpacks." "(gunfire)" "Ifyounoticethat zombiesemerge fromseveraldirections thesafestthingtodo istofindasafe place to assess the situation." "Afterassessing theirnumber, quicklyandthoroughly eliminatethethreat." "(gunshot)" "Andonemorething:" "thisrequires seriousmusic." "Ifthecityisoverrunwith zombies, there'sa goodchance thatthegovernment willorderthesterilization ofthatcity." "SeewhatImean?" "Good evening, I'm Marvin Gloatt andthisis KPRS." "Theonlystation youwilleverneed." "Theonlystationyou 'vegot ." "We are reporting on day nine of the zombie apocalypse." "And we won't stop." "Ladies and gentlemen, we are receiving reports that the freeways are jammed with people trying to leave town." "This is a bad, I repeat, a bad idea." "As I've already exclusively reported in my exclusive reports, this appears to be a global epidemic, and not contained only to a few cities in the United States of America." "Please, remain indoors until the situation is contained." "Please keep doors and windows bolted until instructed otherwise." "KPRS will continue" "Bob:" "Oh ,my God,no!" "Marvin,hegotin." "Marvin!" "Damn it!" "Iwantto stayhere." "Heis  here,I gothim." "No, no!" "No,ohagain!" "Ohno,Marvin!" "(stabing sounds)" "Marvin,I gothim!" "I'mdonewithhim !" "I'mdonewithhim !" "See !" "See!" "(gasps) -(groans)" "Marvin..." "Marvin,areyouokay?" "I got it." "Marvin!" "Ohmy God,Marvin!" "Keep rolling, Bob!" "Rolling." "Don't leave me, Bob." "I'mwithyouuntiltheend, brother." "I've got an axe, Bob." "I've got a very big axe!" "Yougotthem,Marvin!" "We take you now to Ireland, where zombie attacks are being reported on that Emerald Isle." "(growling)" "(pants)" "Steve?" "I'm back from shopping." "You won't believe the trouble." "Oh." "Craig from down the road..." "he's dead." "So, I guess that's it." "We're the last two alive." "They left the door open." "Jesus, Steve, what happened?" "Well, obviously..." "Oh Christ, believe me, I don't want to be alone." "I'm alone aren't I?" "There are no zombies in the flat." "(Steve murmurs)" "Oh great!" "I'm all alone." "I'm all alone." "It's like last summer when you all went to Majorca, and I couldn't afford to so I had to stay home." "I had all these things planned." "Things I wanted to tell you." "I was going to start with all the-- all the bad stuff, just get it out of the way, get it off my chest." "There was a time atUniversity, just before we met..." "Do you remember when we met?" "Standing in the dinner queue, we were the only two English people there." "And then we ended up going to that meet and greet, only to find it was a bunch of God squaders." "Huh!" "Me, you and a bunch of Christians." "Hey, I'd love to see the look on their faces now, eh, what with all the zombies." "I know they are always going on about the apocalypse, but that's when God let all the good ones into the heaven and sent the bad ones down to hell." "Maybe the whole world is bad." "If you take the Ten Commandments as like the literal Word of God then, yeah the whole world is bad." "Maybe the bible bashers were right, I mean, you have broken a few." "So have I." "(exhales)" "It was on a Sunday, so that's one down." "I probably said, "Jesus Christ", while I was doing it." "I don't remember worshipping a false god, but I can't say I definitely didn't." "What classes as a false god these days, anyway?" "I mean I worship "the pussy"." "You know what I mean, but..." "Oh, yes." "Yes, "the pussy"." "But yes, it is not like it is a false god or anything, it is just like..." "well, "the pussy"." "So, its not a false god, it is just like an alternative one." "(creaking)" "That will be the undead again." "Hey, they'll not get in, don't you worry." "(laughs)" "(door opens)" "Oh shit, I have left the door open." "One sec." "Idiot!" "Hey, this reminds me of that time, remember that party, when I put dog shit on the door handle?" "Ooh, that was funny." "Not for the people with shitty hands." "Or dysentery." "But man, I laughed." "I remember, everyone thinking I was really rude, for not shaking their hands, but I knew best." "Ho ho, man, did I know." "Anyway, that's when I told Dave about your your thing. what was it?" "That secret?" "I remember it being really important to you, but I don't know why." "Maybe that's why I told him." "i know you never liked Dave." "(spluttering)" "But I was wasted, and I was on a high from the dog shit gag, so... (coughing)" "(spluttering)" "I guess the band is not going to take off now." "As soon as the zombies came," "I knew..." "I knew it wouldn't..." "Well, as long as you were there, I thought..." "I thought I'd have an audience at least." "I know you thought I was talentless, little kid, but you listened." "You even didn't mind when I played on your first date with Katie." "She is dead." "I used to fancy her." "I spied on you two having sex once." "Oh... she had awesome tits." "(sighs) I wish, I had filmed that now." "It would have given me something to watch during the apocalypse." "I never had anyone." "Tried to find a girl, but I always scared them off because I was too keen." "All I wanted was..." "was someone to like me, to notice me." "Who will laugh at my stupid jokes now?" "I guess I've been a bit of a shit friend." "Maybe I should've apologized early when you could understand." "Where is my rounder's bat?" "It better not be your room again, you..." "Oh, it's there." "I can't do this alone." "I want my friend back." "I need someone to tell me to grow up and stop being a dick." "Someone to show me how all this works." "Yeah..." "I know I annoyed you sometimes, mate and sometimes you annoyed me." "You were always going on about how good your job is and how much better in life you do than me, but I didn't mind..." "I didn't mind, mate because..." "What's this?" "What's this?" "A note?" ""Chris"..." "For me?" ""Dear Chris, this is my suicide note." "I'd rather become one of the undead than spend the rest of my life with you and your stupid guitar." "I hate you." "And hope the zombie me eats you." "Steve."" "(screaming)" "It looks like you're not only the one who does best in life after all, you dick!" "(thud)" "(TV static)" "This just in." "Ladies and gentlemen, we are receiving a live feed from a Quickstop on Broadway and Carter." "That location is only three blocks from the station." "I repeat, this is a live feed from a Quickstop only three blocks from this reporter's location." "Police officer:" "Unicorn." "Whiskey." "Kilo." "(beep)" "(car door closes)" "Police officer:" "Ma'am?" "(knocking)" "Ma'am?" "Ma'am, roll down the window." "Woman: (sobbing) Please help my husband, please." "What?" "Please!" "I need an ambulance!" "What happened?" "Oh, my God!" "Holy shit, okay." "Tell me what happened?" "Calm down." "They just started biting him." "They who?" "Who bit him?" "How many people?" "Please." "Oh, my God." "(sobbing)" "Holy shit!" "Bravo 232, I need immediate medical attention at my location." "I got a mid-thirties, severe lacerations, and a large amount of blood loss." "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Woman:" "No!" "No!" "Ma'am, okay." "Okay." "Everything is going to be okay." "Calm down!" "No!" "Ma'am, relax." "Relax." "Breath." "Breath." "(hysteric sobbing)" "The medicals on route, you got to calm down." "Please." "Just calm down." "Please." "Ma'am, calm down." "Everything is going to be okay." "All right?" "What the fuck!" "Stop!" "(screaming) No!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Oh, my God!" "(muffled screams)" "(gunshot)" "(breathing heavily) Oh shit." "Fuck." "Ma'am?" "We've got shots fired." "Shots fired, 232." "I need medical now." "Ma'am stay with me." "Stay with me." "Stay..." "Police officer over radio:" "Allunitsrespondto...185," "Sinclairstation,codethree." "(heavy breathing)" "Ma'am?" "Calm down, stay with me." "Stay with me." "Stay with me." "Stay with me." "Stay with me." "Medical, I need you now." "Stay with me, ma'am." "Stay with me." "I need medical attention now, step it up!" "Ma'am, stay with me." "Everything is going to be okay." "Medical, I need you now." "Shots fired... shots..." "Oh my God!" "(screaming)" "Shots fired, shots fired." "Medical!" "I need medical now!" "Officer down." "Officer down!" "Officer down." "Officer..." "(groaning)" "(screaming)" "(screams continue)" "Police officer over radio:" "Bravo2-3-2,respond." "Bravo2-3-2,do youcopy?" "Marvin Gloatt, KPRS News." "(grunts)" "Reporting to you on day seven of the zombie apocalypse." "Ladies and gentlemen, we continue to receive reports from around the globe of the undead indiscriminately attacking and devouring the living." "Mothers eating their children." "Husbands gorging on their wives." "Even domesticated animals have gotten in on the act." "We are receiving reports of undead cows going on rampages attacking and devouring the living." "Oh, the irony!" "Scientists report finding cow patties containing undigested human remains." "Teeth, digits..." "even wedding bands." "The world has indeed gone topsy-turvy." "We take you now to Australia where that continent has been overrun by flesh eating scum." "(wind chimes)" "(rattling)" "(door locks)" "(sobs)" "(splash)" "(twigs breaking)" "(distant growling)" "(twig breaking)" "(growls)" "(growls)" "(groans)" "(gasps)" "(gasps) -(stabbing sound)" "(screams)" "(inhales)" "(groans)" "(groaning)" "(groaning)" "(thunder rumbles)" "(gasps)" "(tin rattles)" "(banging)" "(sobs)" "(growls)" "(sobs)" "(grunts)" "(gun shot)" "(TV static)" "Ladies and gentlemen, before we go on may I take a moment to honor the brave KPRS men and women, who have given their lives in the service of reporting this great global tragedy." "Steve, the weatherman." "How is it looking, Steve?" "Cindy, the sports gal." "Just ask Cindy what the score is." "Riva, the mail lady." "She always delivered." "Foreign correspondent, Ramudajab Punjawalesifu." "And the intern." "You know, that guy." "And now, a public safety announcement from our" "KPRS affiliate in Washington DC." "Announcer:" "So, you have killed afewzombies." "Butyouranout ofAmmo ." "Andnowthereisa  new breed of zombies." "Andtheyareso( beep)fast ." "Don'tpanic." "Herewehavesomeguy whoisnotazombie." "Andthatguy..." "(whispers) that's a zombie." "(heavy breathing)" "Yousee, zombiesarelikecars." "Themoretheyfillup, themoretheygo." "Takethisbeady-eyed littlecreep." "Lookathimgo." "Butlikemanyspeedingcars , thiscanalsoend up... (thud) ...witha crash." "(growling)" "Havetosurvive atthezombieapocalypse." "Sequel." "Anewbreedofzombies isborn." "Faster,stronger,andsmarter." "Fortheirkind,anyway." "Fromwhereyoustand, theyjustlooklike youraveragedrunken beady-eyedbugger." "(screaming)" "Youbetterwatch yourback." "SeewhatImean?" "Takeadvantageof zombie's animallikeinstincts tosurprisethem." "Stabthemin theirhead witha ...bicycleseat?" "Hm, didn'tseethatone coming." "Oh,thereit is , oursuperzombie." "Yeah,stilllooksalittle wobblyonhisfeet." "Buttrustme , heisbadnews." "Whowould'vethoughtof abicycleseat?" "(heavy breathing)" "Oh,andif someoneisbitten, killhim!" "Youdon'twantone more zombiechasingyoulater." "(grunts)" "InZombieworld, youdon'thavemuchtime  totakeabreak." "Butwhenyoudo, remember toenjoythelittlethings." "Andwhenyougot togo, yougotto go ." "(trickling)" "(farts)" "Butbackto oursuperzombie." "Nowheis afteryou ." "Putyourthingawayman." "Putitaway." "Toolate." "He is toofast." "Toohungry." "Toosuper." "ThankGod,youhaveapartner whohasgotyourback ." "Who...forgothisweapons." "Oh,hecameback." "Hethrowsawayhis cigarette andsmacksthesuperzombie." "(thuds)" "Bat." "Kick!" "Bikeseat!" "(squelching)" "Whack." "Good one." "Spear." "Bikeseatthrow." "Kick!" "Nice." "Beforeyouleave, makesurehe is dead." "(zombie spluttering)" "(thud)" "Funisararecommodity inZombieworld." "Butfeelfreetohave  avictorydance afterkillingso manyzombies, and" "What?" "Ourheroesspot something." "Itisahand." "Isitazombiehand ?" "No,indeed." "Weknowthoselegs." "That'snotazombie." "Itisoursexychickfrom" ""HowtoSurvivea ZombieApocalypse,PartOne "." "Ohmy,whatis happeninghere?" "No!" "( beeping)" "Don'tpanic." "Useyourhead ..." "andsmashtheirs." "Homerun!" "Ifyourfriendisbitten hewilltrytohide it fromyou." "Butit'skindofobvious." "Evenheknows,you know." "Butheis your friend, right?" "Youramigo,yourcompadre, yourbuddy." "Justsmile." "Tellhimit willbeallright ." "Distracthim,and" "(TV static)" "Hello, I'm..." "Marvin Gloatt" "KPRS news reporting." "We continue to receive reports of widespread zombie attacks throughout the United States and across the world." "(groans)" "This reporter could certainly use a cocktail." "We take you now to Canada, where citizens have been instructed to remain indoors and to use caution should they come into contact with the undead." "(heavy breathing)" "Fuck!" "(panting and groaning)" "I'm sorry." "(grunting)" "(heavy breathing)" "Holy shit!" "Where have you been?" "Where the fuck have you been?" "You okay, man?" "Yeah, yeah fine." "Where is Meg?" "Fuck no, man, she is she went back to the car." "We got to get fuck out of here." "Go, go, we got to go now." "Go!" "Go, go, go, go." "Come on, man." "(groaning) -(gunshot)" "Shit!" "Fuck!" "Oh, God." "(panting)" "(men shouting)" "(growling)" "Let's go." "Ready?" "Three, two, one, go!" "(growling) -(gun shots)" "Man:" "Get going!" "David:" "Meg..." "Meg, are you okay?" "Meg, just stay with me, okay?" "Just stay with me." "All right." " Meg:" "David?" "Oh, fuck." "Man:" "Start the car!" "Start the car!" "Doesn't matter, just go, just go!" "Man 2:" "Get this thing started!" "David:" "It won't start." "Make it happen!" "It won't fucking start!" "Go!" "Go!" "Oh, fuck!" "It won't start." "Just start it, just go!" "It won't fucking start." "Start the fucking car!" "Go, yes!" "David:" "Oh, my God." "Man:" "Go!" "David:" "Okay." "(heavy breathing) -(Meg groaning)" "Man:" "Let's Just find a place, somewhere in the woods, stop, there's no zombies anywhere." "(groaning)" "David:" "Meg, just hang on, okay?" "Meg, just hold on." "(clang)" "David:" "What the fuck?" "Man:" "Keep going." "Keep going, don't stop!" "Keep going!" "Go!" "We can't stop here, man." "We can't stop here!" "What the fuck is going on with the car?" "David:" "I don't know what's happening!" "The car is fucking stalling." "Look!" "Look!" "Look!" "Go!" "Fuck man, fuck!" "Don't worry about her, she will be fine." "Fix it!" "(spluttering)" "Man:" "Come on, do it!" "Oh shit, man!" "She is turning." "She is turning." "She's gone..." "she is fucking gone." "(gun shot)" "(muffled shouting)" "(David panting)" "Here, man." "Take the one on your right." "(gunshot)" "No." "David:" "Take that, you dead fuck!" "Man:" "Dave!" "Dave!" "Check this out guys." "Man:" "I think we need to lay low for a bit." "Man:" "Yeah, I think it's clear." "All right, this room's clear." "Oh my God." "So..." "What's the last thing you want to do?" "Last thing wanna do..." "like, ever?" "Yeah sure." "Hell, I don't know hit a home run at an MLB game." "What about you?" "Have sex with your mom, one last time." "David:" "Yeah, me too." "Man:" "You're sick." "You're sick" "Oh... oh no!" "(growling) -(commotion)" "(gunshot)" "I've got over here." "Come on, you fuckers!" "(grunting)" "Yeah!" "You like that?" "Take that." "(groaning)" "Guys!" "Guys, a little help over here?" "(gunshot)" "Shit!" "John:" "David!" "David!" "David:" "John!" "Fuck no, John!" "(John screaming)" "Where did he go?" "Shit!" "Shit!" "In here, here." "Shit, shit." "Dude, there's no way out." "The window." "The window, we're going out the window." "We can't go out there." "Come on." "Follow me, David." "Out the window!" "Chuck?" "Oh shit." "Come on, let's go!" "Come on!" "Oh God!" "(loud heartbeat)" "Okay, there's only one way out." "Three, two, one..." "Oh no!" "Fuck!" "Come on, let's go." "Let's go." "Just go." "Just go!" "What did you do?" "Oh fuck, why?" "Shit!" "Oh no." "No." "No!" "No!" "No!" "(groaning)" "(flesh ripping)" "Ahh!" "(coughing)" "(groaning)" "(groaning sound)" "(growling)" "(screaming)" "(TV static)" "Marvin Gloatt here is broadcasting on KPRS." "Bringing you the latest on the zombie apocalypse." "(TV static)" "(audio interference)" "(explosion)" "Right in the knockers." "(gunshots)" "Jo, you want to come see this?" "These graphics are nuts." "Take that you fucker." "Jo!" "Fuck!" "Oh yeah!" "What the fuck?" "Oh!" "Oh no!" "No!" "(zombie moaning)" "(man screaming)" "(screaming)" "Oh!" "Zombies!" "(TV static)" "Bob:" "Marvin, are you okay?" "Marvin,areyouokay?" "Youlooklikeshit!" "Marvin?" "(groaning)" "Marvin,areyouokay?" "Yeah, Bob." "Keep rolling." "The show must go on." "(clearing throat)" "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Ladie-- (growling)" "Ladie-- (garbled speech)" "Son-of-a-bitchin' zombies!" "Just roll the footage, Bob!" "Roll it." "Show must go on." "(groaning)" "UNITED STATES WEST VIRGINIA" "BLAM!" "BLAM!" "(crow caws)" "PUTNAM" "DARK CRYPT OF HORROR" "ASHLEY SAPPLETON, CHAPMANVILLE WEST VIRGINIA 29" "(birds chirping)" "(ringing door bell) (knocking on door)" "Hello?" "Oh, good day miss." "I have a certified letter for Mrs. Sappleton." "Postman is here for you, aunty!" "Whereareyourmanners, younglady?" "Getthemansomething todrink andI 'llberightthere." "Please, do come in." "Perhaps it's best if I just stay out here." "Don't be silly." "Our old postman used to always come in for a soda." "Aren't you thirsty?" "Well, it sure is awful hot out." "I'm not that thirsty." "Expecting guests?" "Guests?" "That would be a blessing." "Every day for the last year, she's been making me set these out." "She just can't accept that they are gone." "So, you are not expecting guests?" "A year ago on a day..." "just like this one..." "Her husband and his younger brother were... working at the mine." "Just like they did every day." "They were deep underground, working the lead on a new tunnel... when something went wrong." "One of the men, his hands wet with sweat dropped his pick axe." "When it landed, the steel from the blade hit the tiniest piece of flint, hidden under a rock." "The spark from the flint hit a bit of hay... thrown down to absorb oil from a broken lantern." "It quickly caught ablaze and burned... in a straight line towards a nearby box of dynamite." "It took weeks to dig them out." "And when their twisted and lifeless bodies were finally found, they were so badly mangled that my uncle could only be recognized by his wedding ring." "Sometimes, when I see the drinks sitting there, I forget..." "I expect to see them walking up, hear them laugh, have them tease me about my duck feet." "Oh, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting." "I needed to freshen up a bit before my husband comes home." "He and his brother work the early shift at the mine." "Are you to be our new postman, Mister...?" "Nuddle." "Frank Nuddle, yes ma'am." "If I could just get your signature right here." "Oh I see... this is addressed to my husband." "His name is Ashley." "Often causes confusion." "If you could just wait a bit, he will be home shortly." "Yes... yes, indeed." "You know, I think it would be okay if you sign for him being as you're married and all." "If I could get your signature right here," "I will be on my way." "I still have a few more houses to visit." "(laughing) -(dog barking outside)" "Oh, here he is now." "(screaming)" "Hi sweetheart." "Who was that odd fellow?" "That was our new postman." "I don't know what got into him." "One minute, he was asking me for a signature and the next he ran screaming from the house." "Hmm." "(dog barking outside)" "I..." "I suppose it was the dog." "He said he has had a horror of them ever since the Battle of the Bulge trapped in the middle of the night in the Ardennes, 10 feet up the tree." "Surrounded by the pack of vicious beasts... sure that any moment, their barking would bring the Nazis and that moment would be his last." "Enough to make anyone lose their nerve." "(TV static)" "Announcer:" "If you woke up tofind yourpeacefulneighborhood lookslikethis." "Congratulations, youareliving inZombieworld." "(crunch) -(groan)" "Howtosurvive azombieapocalypse." "Origins" "Azombiepandemic spreadsfast." "Tosaveyourself, wesuggestyou followa fewsafetytips." "Let'sgobackto theverybeginning." "Whoa!" "Notthatfar !" "So,yes,watchour  specialreports." "Weinterruptthisprogram togiveyouareport." "Listentoyourradio." "...reportsofmass-murder fromalloverthe state." "Checktheinternet orsimply lookoutyourwindow." "Runasfastasyoucanto  somelesspopulatedarea." "Butkeepin mind thatwhilethezombies aretryingto takeyourlife , thelivingwilltake everythingelse." "Thatcarwasstolen bythisgirl." "Whobecamethiszombie whowaskilledbythat guy,  whoactuallyis  thisguy!" "That'sKarmaforyou ." "Yep,stillexists inthezombieapocalypse." "Whenyouareleftallalone , paranoiakicksin ." "Questionslike:" "Whostartedallofthis ?" "Wasitthegovernment, aliens..." "Weliketo believein thatoldsaying." "Whenthere'sno moreroom inhell..." "Thedead..." " Will walk the Earth." "Afterkillingalot ofzombies andlosingsomefriends alongtheway youmightfeeldown, abitlonely..." "Butdon'tgiveup." "Happinessmightbe just..." "(growling) ...around the corner." "¶ (classical music) ¶" "(gun shots)" "¶ (classical music continues) ¶" "Yes,thereis achance atromance..." "ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE LOVE ...inthezombieapocalypse." "This requires serious music." "¶ (dramatic music) ¶" "(gunshots)" "Heck,noonecares whatyouwerebefore." "Whatmattersis  whatyou'vebecome." "Someturnintozombies, othersintoheroes." "Nobodycaresif youwere anaccountant." "Ora first-rateshooter." "Whatmattersis to be  thelastmanstanding." "Tostandfor thewholehumanrace." "So,weallcan survive anotherday." "InZombieworld." "¶ (dramatic music continues) ¶" "(TV static)" "(moaning)" "(groaning)" "(groaning continues)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(continues speaking in Spanish)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "¶ (beach-themed music) ¶" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(indistinct chatter)" "¶ (music continues) ¶" "Hey, have a good time." "¶ (music continues) ¶" "(splat)" "¶ (music continues) ¶" "(women laugh)" "¶ (music continues) ¶" "(laughing)" "¶ (dramatic music plays) ¶" "(roaring) -(growling)" "(speaking in Spanish)" "(screaming)" "(roaring)" "(shrieking)" "(roaring) -(screaming)" "No!" "No!" "(roaring) -(screaming)" "¶ (beach-themed music resumes) ¶" "(screaming)" "(roaring) -(screaming)" "(screaming)" "(splat)" "(screaming)" "(screaming)" "(roaring) -(speaking in Spanish)" "¶ (music continues) ¶" "(music halts)" "(screaming)" "(frustrated breathing)" "(splash)" "(grunting)" "(frustrated breathing)" "(grumbling)" "(fighting sounds)" "(screaming) -(roaring)" "(spluttering)" "(whimpering)" "(fighting sounds)" "(footsteps)" "(water lapping)" "(grumbling)" "(growling)" "(roaring)" "(fighting sounds)" "(crunching)" "(crunching)" "(growling)" "(explosion)" "(waves lapping)" "(groaning)" "(screaming with joy)" "¶ (triumphant music) ¶" "(kissing noises)" "(footsteps)" "(TV static)" "(groaning)" "(moaning)" "Bob:" "Marvin, you okay?" "Marvin,Marvin!" "No!" "No!" "No !" "(growling) -(screaming)" "(roaring)" "(screaming)" "(barking)" "I'm Marvin Gloatt, KPRS news... reporting from Zombieworld." "(yelling)" "¶ (theme music plays) ¶" "(yelling) -(heavy breathing)" "Looks like you're not going to be the one who does best in life after all." "(groaning)" "¶ (beach-themed music) ¶"