"we gotta jack it up." "We need help here." "Hey, we got a flat tire in the back now." "They gotta get that unloaded." "Slim, get over there." "I don't need you working on the tarp." "I got it, I got it!" "Pull it down." "Hook it at the bottom." "Just get out of the way." "Come on." "Hey, guys, get out of the truck." "We need a hand out here." "Hurry up." "Come on, they got a flat tire down there." "Let's go, let's go." "We gotta get down there." "The animals are getting spooked." "Hurry up." "Hurry, now." "We've gotta get it unloaded." "Don't worry about it." "Just let it go." "No, no." "No, five of them." "Go." "Don't worry about that." "Don't let the zebras run." "Stay with them." "Both of you, come here." "Everything's off." "No, no, no." "All right, it's good." "It's good." "We'll load them up as soon as the tire's on." "Load them back on!" "Don't forget anything!" "Come on." "There you go." "Go." "Go." "Let's go." "We've got it." "We got everything?" "We've got it all." "What the--?" "Hey." "Hey, there." "Hey, boy, just calm down." "It's all right." "It's all right." "There we go." "There you go." "It's all right." "It's all right." "There you go." "All right." "You weren't kidding." "Can we keep him, Daddy?" "Can we, please?" "I don't know, it's...." "You know, he's probably got all kinds of special needs." "We should...." "We should probably call the zoo and...." "No." "No zoos." "You know I don't like the idea of animals in cages." "Honey, neither do I, but let's just see what we got here." "Let's" " I gotta think about this." "Well, first things first." "Let's get him some blankets and warm milk." "Okay, don't get too carried away." "Stop waking me up." "What's in the basket?" "Hey, Tucker." "Did you see that?" "You seen one funny-looking horse, you seen them all." "Oh, come on." "Get out there and say hello." "Wake me up when he leaves." "You know what, I'll do it myself." "That's the weirdest-looking horse I've ever seen." "Oh, he's cute." "Tucker, come out here and meet our guest." "I'm coming." "I swear, Franny, the funnier-looking the animal..." "...the more you wanna keep it." "Kept you, didn't I?" "Well, subdivide me and Kentucky-fry me." "You know what, Tucker, you cut those bangs..." "...you and him could be cousins." "Bad hair." "Just thinking out loud." "Thinking out loud." "Question time." "What exactly are you?" "Good question." "I don't know." "Okay, we can rule out genius." "Don't make me chew open a can of pony whup." "Save the sweet talk for later." "Don't pay any attention to him." "Listen, he's all whinny and no bite." "I'm Franny, this is Reggie, and Mr. Sensitive here is Tucker." "And that old goat there is an old goat." "It's the Chief." "You used to be so nice." "Yeah, I know, but I got over it." "Why do you have to be such a horse's--?" "Well, let's just get you dried off first, all right?" "He's got real strong legs." "He's quite the little athlete." "Hey, buddy." "Why don't you grab the milk and see if he'll come to you." "Come here, boy." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "There you are." "Come on, boy." "Come on." "Attaboy." "Welcome to your new home, Stripes." "Stripes?" "Well, "Spot" doesn't work, now, does it?" "You like that name, don't you?" "Stripes." "Well, I'll take that as a yes." "Good morning, Walsh Farm!" "Well, I know it's not glamorous, but it's a living." "Keeps my head on my shoulders, which is more than I can say for my cousins." "Simmer down there, Lightning." "Hey, hey, slow down." "Boy, oh, boy." "Kids these days, no control." "Now, back in my day" "Oh, here we go again with the ancient-history lesson." "Enough." "Now we're in for it." "And the horses are entering the starting gates." "Oh, what is that?" "That is the only reason for a horse to live, kid." "It's called a racetrack." "Oh, there's more to life than running around in a circle." "Well, maybe to you." "It's like this:" "Humans race, horses race." "There was even a Chicken Run, but there's never been a goat race." "Ever, ever, ever." "Get the picture, Franny?" "Could I race?" "It's complicated." "It takes a lot of work to become a racehorse." "What's a racehorse?" "They're the greatest." "Once a year, there's a big race to see who's the best." "By the way, the horses that won every year were the ones we trained." "Why did you quit?" "lxnay on the other-may." "Say what you mean." "We haven't spoken Latin since the pigs left." "Oh, all right." "A few years ago, the girl's mother had an accident." "Yeah." "Her horse stumbled and neither one of them could be saved." "The Chief couldn't bear to train after that." "And neither did we." "Hey, look, they're ready to go." "How come none of them have stripes?" "You take this one." "Thanks." "Just unlucky, I guess." "And they're off." "Flash of Thunder's...." "Look at them." "Look at them run." "Watch me, I'm a racehorse." "Well, would you look at him?" "He loves to run." "It's in his heart." "But that's not enough." "You could train him." "Then it would be enough." "Let me tell you something." "The legs are too short, the head's too big." "He's got as much chance to race as me." "Besides, I have got better things to do." "Oh, go fix your hair." "I heard that." "Watch me, I'm in the big race." "Excuse me." "Racehorse coming through." "Whoa, look at that." "Come on." "Dude, I'm right with you." "Whoa, nice mohawk." "That's funny." "Mohawk." "What's a mohawk?" "Shut up, you idiot." "You guys train to race?" "Yeah, you want a taste?" "Ready, set, go." "Catch me if you can." "Hey, I wasn't ready." "Come on, you slowpoke!" "Yeah!" "I'm not even in second gear yet." "Yeah, he's not even in second gear yet." "Last one to the fence is a donkey." "Dude, it's your dad." "Great." "Son." "Stay away from that fence." "Come on, Dad." "We were just having some fun." "Fun is overrated." "If you're going to be a champion, I suggest you start acting like one." "Oh, your dad scares me, dude." "Not me." "Pride!" "Ruffshodd!" "Coming, Father." "Yeah, coming, Mr. Sir Trenton, sir." "I don't understand." "Why won't he let them play with me?" "You're just different." "And for some horses, different is scary." "Come on, he's never late." "I'm all ready to go." "Where is he?" "Oh, here he comes." "Bring it on." "Show me what you got." "Here we go." "Better luck tomorrow!" "Dang!" "I had him today." "She's just not right today, Mr. Cooper." "Yep." "Better give her a break." "Okay." "You call that jumping?" "Looked like she was having a seizure." "Sorry, Miss Dalrymple." "She seemed a bit shy on the high jump..." "...so I thought I'd take it easy." "Of course you did." "But, you know, the thing is, I don't pay you to take it easy." "I pay you to train." "You can only push a horse so hard." "Cooper, Cooper, Cooper." "Why must you be so tedious?" "Okay, here's the deal." "Now, as long as I am signing your checks, you will push her as hard as I tell you to." "Don't you have a board meeting at the track to get to?" "As a matter of fact, I do." "Yo, yo, Pride." "Check out the new filly." "What a mane." "Look at those flanks." "Watch." "She's gonna come straight for me." "Do I have anything in my teeth?" "You always have something in your teeth, Ruffshodd." "Hey, where's she going?" "Excuse me." "Would you care to join me for a drink?" "A drink." "Good call." "No." "Talk to the tail, boys." "Did you ever consider going around that tree instead of through it?" "Yeah, well, usually it moves out of my way." "I've never heard of a tree doing that." "You don't know the trees here." "Are you new?" "Just got here." "I'm Sandy." "I'm Stripes." "You don't say?" "Are you a racehorse?" "No, I'm a jumper." "I've actually competed all around the world." "Well, I'm a racehorse." "I'm training to be in the big race." "By racing the mailman?" "Well, the other horses don't wanna race me." "I'm just way too fast for them." "He's not a racer." "Oh, not them again." "They say his dad's a horse and his mom's a fence." "Real funny, guys." "I've gotta go, I'm sorry." "I'll see you around, Stripes?" "Later." "So, Stripey, how's it going?" "You still racing the mailman?" "Oh, the mailman wasn't racing him." "He was running away from him." "I'll race you any time you want." "Well, unfortunately I don't race nobodies." "Yeah, he don't race nobodies." "Figures." "All talk and no action." "Well, this is disappointing." "Oh, it's my dad." "Listen, you." "I want you to stop bothering my son." "And you can tell Tucker I said that." "Trenton's Pride is a champion with a real future." "And you, well...." "You have your place." "Father, l" "You and I will talk later." "Mr. Sir Trenton, sir, we been trying to get this guy to stop bothering us..." "...but he just won't stop..." "Ruffshodd." "...bothering us." "Shut up, you idiot." "Yes, Mr. Sir Trenton, sir." "And may I say, your coat is very shiny today." "There's a place where we can settle this." "No humans." "No rules." "Where and when?" "Welcome to the Blue Moon Races." "Yeah!" "It's him." "Be quiet." "Be quiet." "Tonight's first contestant is 10-0 and good to go." "He is the baddest pony on the prairie." "Give it up for Trenton's Pride." "Step right up, if you're horse enough." "Not me, no way." "Who's feeling their oats?" "Nobody can beat him." "No way." "He's too tough." "I'll take him on." "Laugh it up." "Just wait and see." "Hey, Sandy." "Hi, Stripes." "Well, well." "I'm surprised you showed up." "You wanna talk or race?" "That coat is simply dreadful." "Well, it's slimming, though." "Right?" "Oh, you're gonna wish you stayed home." "You're gonna wish I stayed home too." "After I kick your butt." "And now, let's get ready to race!" "Up to that heap, around it and back to here." "I am going to make you look so bad in front of your girlfriend." "Send him home, Pride." "Show him who's boss." "You got guts, kid." "Come on, Pride." "You show him who's in charge." "Let's go!" "Come on, Stripey, try and keep up." "See you, loser." "Just giving you a head start." "You're gonna need it." "Come on, Pride, is that all you got?" "I'm not even breaking a sweat yet." "Good thing your daddy's not here to see this." "Holy cow, what a kick." "At least you're gonna keep this interesting." "I told you guys he's fast." "Slow down, kid, you're gonna blow the turn." "Stripes!" "Nice turn, Stripey." "I tried to warn you." "How's that ridge taste?" "What can you say?" "Rookie mistake." "Stripes, are you all right?" "Go back where you belong!" "Yeah, I'm fine." "What a loser!" "Get out of here!" "Stripes." "We don't want you." "Go home!" "Hey, Stripey." "Did you really think that you could beat a trained professional?" "Hey there, boy." "What's up?" "What's the matter?" "Feel like there's something you're not telling me." "What, you sick or something?" "There you are." "Now you're all gorgeous again." "I can't have my best boy looking all gnarly, now, can I?" "Stay out of the mud." "So you don't know where the mud came from?" "It didn't come from the Blue Moon Races?" "Nope, just took a mudbath for my arthritis." "Chan!" "Helmet." "Take it easy." "I'm gonna be late for work." "Yeah, that's right." "Boy, will you get a load of this dump?" "Even Old MacDonald wouldn't want this farm, but it's perfect." "Miles from the Jersey shore, not an ocean in sight, not even a birdbath." "No one will look for a classy guy like the Goose here." "Watch where you're going, that's my knee." "So that's how we land in the big city." "If there's no parking space, you make one." "Any of you mugs got a problem with that?" "Nice landing." "Can we see you take off now?" "Are you a small horse or some sort of an ass?" "Because you look like an ass to me." "I don't mean to be rude but you seem to be more surf than turf." "Did you take a wrong turn?" "Because you look slow, I'll skip the salad and get to the risotto." "Let's just say I'm having a little disagreement with my family." "We disagree on whether or not they should whack me." "Name's Goose." "Oh, a pelican named Goose." "Well, my name's Duck." "Duck?" "Duck?" "Duck." "Goose." "Oh, you're funny." "But there's only room for one wise guy on this farm, and you should know Goose is a name that strikes fear into anyone on the East Coast." "Don't shoot!" "I didn't do it!" "It was the horse with the funny hair." "The goat's in on it." "You're fine unless you're being chased by a tractor." "Look, here's the whole spaghetti sauce." "I'm a hit bird, and when Sammy the Gull needs a lesson taught the Goose is the guy he calls." "Only this last job, I had a little mishap." "Instead of hitting Freddy the Flamingo, I hit Sammy's capo, Johnny Storkanado." "And now Sammy, Freddy, Johnny, they're all after me." "Hey, ever try shutting up?" "Ever try swimming in cement horseshoes?" "I've taken out punks bigger than you." "What, you talk them to death?" "Careful, pony boy, or somebody's gonna wake up with your head in their bed." "Knew from that pecker you'd be a bigmouth." "Watch it, stumpy." "I'd cut you off at the knees, but it looks like somebody's beaten me to it." "All right, knock it off." "Nobody has anything to prove here." "Proof?" "You want proof, huh?" "You see Rusty the Rotating Rooster up there?" "He's about to get Goosed." "Where is hunting season when you need it?" "Okay, adjust for the wind." "Nice, level flight." "Come on, Goose, use the Force." "Well, you can't say that he couldn't hit the broadside of a barn door." "Acid rain!" "Acid rain!" "I'm blind." "It's too late for me." "Save yourselves." "I'm going to the light." "I see a bucket of dead relatives!" "Extra crispy." "Extra crispy!" "That's the worst turn I've ever seen anybody make." "Awful, terrible, stink-o." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "The Blue Moon Races are the worst-kept secret of all time." "I know." "I almost had him." "I should have beaten him, easily." "Wrong." "You need more than raw talent, which you have to beat a well-trained racehorse." "It takes skill." "Real skill and real discipline to become a racer." "It's hard work." "Nothing good ever comes easy." "And speaking of hard work...." "Oh, boy." "See you later, kid." "Good luck." "Tractor's down, Stripes." "Yeah, it's time to earn your keep." "Yeah." "There you go." "Easy, take it easy." "Yeah, good boy." "There you go." "Come on, now." "Come on, Stripes, just give it a little more." "Little more." "It's gonna be over that much quicker." "Come on, now." "Come on." "Come on." "Hey, sweetness." "Look at your bigtime racehorse now." "Yeah, bigtime." "Check it out." "Hey, plow boy, you missed a spot!" "Why don't you guys go choke on an apple." "Come on, darling, don't go getting your tail in a knot." "Talk to me." "You look frustrated, what's the matter?" "What is it gonna take for me to get to the track so I can have another shot?" "I won't blow sun up your tail." "You're from the wrong side of the fence." "The only chance you've got is...." "Forget it, forget it, forget it." "No." "What?" "What were you gonna say?" "You gotta get someone to ride you so you can show them." "A human?" "No, we're gonna strap Reggie to your back." "Of course a human." "So if you do get to race, you'll be ready." "And pulling that thing can only help." "Put your back into it." "Get to work." "Yeah." "I will make it to the track, Tucker." "And when I do, I'm gonna beat Pride and win the big race." "Whoa, big fella!" "That's the attitude." "Well, like my mama used to say:" ""You can put your boots in the oven, but that won't make them biscuits."" "Good boy." "Good boy." "You did all right, huh." "Yeah." "Good boy." "Hey, there's my best boy." "Been working you hard, hasn't he?" "I'll see you later." "All right." "I need to find a way to get rid of you." "That could be arranged." "Who are you?" "Name's Goose." "Always looking to do a favor for someone that's been in the joint." "When'd you get out?" "Out of where?" "The pokey, the do-right ranch, the iron-bar inn." "Come on, you can level with me." "What are you talking about?" "Oh, you're good." "Yes, you are, you are very good." "So where did you do your stretch?" "Sing Sing?" "Alcatraz?" "The Bronx Zoo?" "Look, how can you help?" "All right, listen up, you glue-factory rejects." "Professor Goose is gonna school youse in how to take out a motorcycle." "Class is now in session." "Will we be tested on this?" "Stuff it, McNugget." "Rule number one, we never say nothing." "Even when tortured, not a word gets out." "Watch this." "Look out!" "Freddy the Flamingo's right behind you." "Hey, Goose." "All right, I'll talk, I'll talk." "It was Vito." "Vito Pelligrino from Pier 9." "What do you know?" "Goose, who was really a pelican, is really a stool pigeon who is actually a chicken that ducks." "That makes five birds in one, count them." "I'm no chicken." "Mind you, I got nothing against chickens." "I mean, some of my best friends are chickens." "Fowl are fine folks." "All right, let's go, it's time." "Now, you guys stay here." "This ain't gonna be pretty." "Oh, boy, now what do I do?" "All right, tough guy, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." "Gentlemen, don't let the feathers fool you, this dude's dangerous." "He's a killing machine disguised as an idiot." "Hey, you like that?" "Huh?" "Right in the seat." "Okay, lights out." "Turning up the pain." "You like that?" "Come on, can you hear me?" "Oh, a spitter, huh?" "Oh, you wanna dance?" "You want a piece of the Goose?" "Karate-chop-a!" "Poke-a-sock-a!" "Smack-a-face-a!" "Break-a-bones-a!" "You see?" "You call the Goose, and ba-da-bing." "Ba-da-boom." "This is Reggie Redrooster with the farm report." "In sports news, Goose the Pelican dropped the motorcycle in the first round." "Then, for good measure, taught the truck a lesson as well." "Move it along, nothing to see here." "I'm gonna be late for work." "Well, you can take Old Blue." "Oh, that's just great." "Oh, come on." "How long will it take to put on the spare?" "Honey, that is the spare." "What the--?" "Can I take Stripes?" "What do you mean, ride him?" "Just for today." "No." "No." "Come on, I have to get to work." "Can I take him, please?" "Honey, no." "Besides, I'd never be able to get a saddle on him." "All right, so I got a saddle on him, big deal." "Not like he's gonna let you ride him." "You don't know him like I do." "Well even if he does let you, you know how I feel." "I've been riding since I was 5." "That's not the point." "Come on." "I mean, it's almost like he wants to be ridden." "Oh, honey." "Honey, come on." "Just let me try." "Come on, come on." "Careful." "Now we're talking." "Talking to who?" "What you been talking about?" "You been training Stripes, haven't you?" "Just nice and easy." "Run like the wind." "Show them what you got." "Will you shut up?" "I'm the coach, you're the goat." "Now, listen to the way it's done." "Run like the wind, kid!" "Show them what you got!" "See, that's coaching." "Come on, Stripes." "Come on." "Come on, boy!" "Good boy." "Better get going back!" "Circus must be in town!" "I used to see spots, now I'm seeing stripes." "Where'd that come from?" "Shouldn't you be on a carousel somewhere?" "This ain't the zoo!" "Oh, no way." "Go home!" "Go home, four left hooves!" "Haven't you learned?" "You don't fit in!" "Hoof it!" "We don't want you!" "Nobody asked you here, freak!" "Yeah, no freaks allowed." "I'll see you later, buddy." "Be good." "Those guys aren't so fast." "I can take them." "Scuzz, how can you ruin a great song like that?" "Oh, come on, man!" "That song's already ruined." "You need some good tunes like this:" "Those aren't even the words." "The words don't matter, man!" "You know "you can't touch this," the rest of it's gold." "Okay, smart boy, just go fly yourself into a fan." "Now, come on, let's go get some food." "Just follow me." "Waiter!" "Table for one, please." "Hey, why don't you take a closer look." "I'll tell Mom!" "Scuzz, I don't believe it." "I got 20 million brothers and sisters and Mom tells me that I gotta look out for you." "Well, that's because it's easy, dumb-dumb." "Nothing bad ever happens to me!" "Scuzz, you know what?" "Bad is the only thing that happens to you!" "Hey, pull my wing." "No." "It's not like before." "I promise, nothing will happen." "Never, never fall for that." "It's too easy!" "Who does that thing belong to?" "He's mine, Miss Dalrymple." "I had no other way of getting here." "I'll go put him in the stables." "Yes, and from now on you will leave him at that petting zoo you and your father so laughably call a farm." "This is a racetrack, dear, not the Serengeti." "You don't know the words to that either." "I can make up a rap about anything." "Hey." "Hey, what's that?" "Well, that's obvious." "It's the racetrack referee." "Buzz, check this out." "Hey, pal, why the long face?" "Thank you!" ""Why the long face?"" "Still got it!" "What are you doing?" "Look." "You're a horse!" "You all have long faces, get it?" "It's a joke!" "I've heard all the jokes." "The others have been making fun of me since I was born." "I know I'm different." "You think you had it rough?" "You try starting out life as a maggot." "Nobody wants to pet a little maggot." "Nobody." "Scuzz, Scuzz, Scuzz." "Come on, now." "Easy." "Seriously, what's with the stripes?" "Are you making some kind of statement?" "Yeah, you know, I saw you and I was about to say to my brother Buzz:" ""I never seen a black horse with white stripes."" "You dimwit!" "He is obviously a white horse with black stripes!" "Now, anybody could see that." "Guys, look out!" "Are we dead?" "Are we dead?" "Well, if we are Buzz, we're in heaven!" "Here comes your open winner, Miss D." "Yes, well, he better be, Mr. Cooper." "Anything less than a victory, and you'll be back shoveling manure." "See you, Woodzie." "Night, Ken." "What are you doing, boy?" "We shouldn't be out here." "I know, boy." "I feel it too." "When I was little my mama used to bring me out here at around this time." "Put me on the saddle behind her take me once around the track." "It was like magic." "Come on, boy!" "Come on!" "Go!" "Let's go, boy!" "Easy, boy." "Come on." "Attaboy." "Easy does it." "Good boy." "Channing!" "Hold on a second." "Woodzie." "You're not gonna tell anyone, are you?" "Mum's the word." "Well, who's your friend?" "Some turn of foot." "This is Stripes." "He's quick, huh?" "I'll say." "Like to get a watch on him for real." "Dad doesn't want me to ride, let alone race." "Well, that's a crime." "You move just like your mom." "God rest her soul." "And not even a proper saddle." "A trainer friend of mine's working some horses in the time trial tomorrow." "Why don't you come out early and join in." "Yeah, you think about it." "Hey." "Forget where the house is?" "Miss Dalrymple made me stay late." "I can't stand her." "Don't give me excuses." "And don't take it out on her." "If anything, you should pity her." "She sees a horse, she doesn't see beauty." "She just sees business." "I don't see how you ever worked for her." "She's such a pain." "I let most of it go in one ear and out the other." "It was worth it." "I got a chance to work with some mighty fine horses." "We could do it again, you know." "Chan...." "Dad everybody says you're still the best." "We just need a few horses to get us started." "Then we could put old Dalrymple out to pasture." "That's in the past, honey." "I fixed the flat." "You can take Blue to work tomorrow." "But I wanna ride Stripes." "He was great, Dad." "You should've seen him!" "That was a one-shot deal." "You know how I feel." "What about how I feel?" "Discussion's over." "But, Dad" "I said no, Chan." "You are so busy trying to keep me from hurting myself like Mom that you won't give me a chance to just try anything." "Well, just because you've given up on your dreams doesn't mean that I have to." "He treats me like I'm still a little girl." "Well, I'm not." "I wanna race." "I'm gonna race and no one can stop me." "Doesn't anybody have a clock?" "Easy, girl." "Hey!" "It's Woodzie." "No!" "Help me!" "I'm drowning!" "Get out of there, Scuzz!" "That's the man's expresso!" "I know." "I'm expressing myself." "You are the reason they invented fly swatters." "There are those that say Trenton's Pride is the only real contender this year." "How do you feel about that?" "Well, dear, how do you feel about that?" "Miss Dalrymple, how does Trenton's Pride compare with his legendary father?" "Well, I like to believe that I can see a good bet, and l" "What--?" "Where's--?" "What the--?" "Excuse me." "Excuse me!" "I can't believe we're being upstaged by a zebra." "What is that dreadful child up to now?" "How can they allow this to happen?" "Eat my dust, runt!" "Loser!" "I'm gonna run you down!" "Who do you think you are?" "You don't belong here!" "You don't know nothing about this!" "You're a joke!" "It's all right, boy." "It's all right." "Let's go, boy!" "Whoa, whoa, Stripes." "Come on, come on, boy!" "Come on, Stripes!" "Come on!" "Come on, boy!" "Come on!" "Faster!" "Come on, buddy!" "Attaboy!" "Faster, Stripes, faster!" "Come on!" "Who would have thought a zebra could have such a kick?" "He's on the rail and moving fast." "Chan!" "Oh, my." "Come on, come on, let's go!" "You better make sure you get this, Mike." "Chan!" "Chan!" "Nothing's broken." "Honey, just look in my eyes." "Dad, it's nothing." "Listen." "It's fine." "This is what I told you was gonna happen." "Your father's right." "He just got spooked." "It's not his fault." "He just needs some more training." "Yes, right." "I'm sure that more than half of the blame sits squarely on the shoulders of his rider." "You're such a" "Chan." "Chan, Chan!" "Just go get Stripes and meet me in the parking lot." "You so obsessed with winning you'll pick on a girl?" "Really, Nolan." "You expect me to dignify that?" "I'm just a Kentucky gal who loves watching Thoroughbreds race at the top of their game." "Of course you are." "I'll tell you what." "As chairman of the Turfway Board I hereby extend an invitation to Mr. Walsh to enter his zebra in the Kentucky Open." "All it takes is an entrance fee." "How about that, Mr. Walsh?" "Mr." "Walsh?" "Mr." "Walsh?" "Well, there goes the great Nolan Walsh, everyone." "Corn farmer and zebra trainer." "And you can print that." "Hey, Clara, can they print that you ain't won the Kentucky Open since Nolan stopped training your horses for you?" "What do you have to say about that?" "Mind your own business." "You there!" "See what happens when you forget your place." "A racetrack is no place for a zebra." "What did you just call me?" "A zebra!" "Which is what you are." "You didn't really think you were a horse, did you?" "But I am a horse." "A racehorse." "You're nothing of the kind." "You're lunch for a lion, and that's about it." "One thing's for sure, kid." "You will never be a racehorse." "A zebra?" "I thought I was a racehorse." "Why didn't anyone tell me?" "Well, I just can't believe you deliberately disobeyed me." "I can't believe you took her side." "I didn't." "And don't change the subject." "Mom would've let me ride." "Don't bring your mother into this!" "Just don't." "Why not?" "At least she would've tried to understand." "It's more than I can say for you!" "Don't get out of the truck!" "Channing, get back in the truck." "Don't do it." "Well, well, well." "Look what the cat drug in." "Don't shoot me, don't shoot me!" "Jersey flashback." "Hey, we made it, man!" "Nice!" "That sure beats flying." "We made it, but...." "Well, little Skeeter here didn't." "Oh, no." "You know, that's why Mom always said:" ""Look both ways before crossing." -"Look both ways before crossing."" "Afternoon, Woodzie." "What brings you out here?" "I got a hunch about your zebra." "Look at this." "I left it right where it was this morning." "Twenty-three seconds a quarter mile?" "He didn't finish but I got him between the quarter pole and the half-mile pole." "Twenty-three flat." "Your zebra." "Look, that zebra really wants to race." "I can see it." "You just need to train him." "Where would I do that?" "And even if I could, I mean you got the $5000 entrance fee?" "I don't." "I do." "And I won most of it betting on your horses." "I know a good bet when I see it, and I can't bet him if he's not in the race." "Come on, Nolan." "No." "That's final." "Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash." "He's not gonna let Stripes race." "That's not cool." "Let's go talk to Tucker." "Guess who." "Hey, Buzz and Scuzz!" "How you been, fellas?" "We miss you down at the track." "Those were great years." "Yeah, yeah." "Listen, listen." "We got some bad news for Stripes." "Let me guess." "His parole officers caught up with him." "Don't let them take you." "Is he always like this?" "Worse." "Much worse." "Anyway, listen, kid." "The Chief isn't gonna let you race." "But don't worry." "We'll cheer you up." "Check this one out." "Get off me, you stupid flies!" "Get off!" "Man, "Ebony and lvory" didn't work." "That's a first." "Told you we should've rapped." "Stripes." "Walking away isn't gonna solve anything." "Who cares." "Leave me alone!" "We've gotta get this kid into the race." "The Chief will never go for it." "Of course he will." "Just like somebody else I know." "He just needs a little push." "I'm going to bed." "Channing?" "Yeah?" "Why don't you come on out here." "Come on." "This is gonna be a hard one, honey." "Probably the only thing to do, really the obvious thing is to get rid of the problem." "What?" "Dad." "No!" "It's not Stripes' fault." "He's not the problem." "It's my fault." "Dad, you can't just get rid of him." "l" " I know him better than anyone ever could." "I love him." "What do you think the alternative is?" "I don't ride him." "Ever, ever again." "That's right, honey." "Franny?" "Hey." "Hey." "How did you know?" "If you build it, they will come." "Well, it's showtime, kid." "You ready to start training?" "Why bother?" "I don't understand this." "Isn't this what he wanted?" "This is exactly why I never had kids." "Reggie?" "Yes?" "Get off my back." "Hey, hotshot." "Run into any trees lately?" "Oh, great." "More jokes." "I really wanna be alone, Sandy." "What's going on with you?" "That doesn't sound like the attitude of a racehorse." "Because I'm not a racehorse." "I'm not even a regular horse." "I'm a" "Zebra?" "I know." "I've traveled around the world, remember?" "Why didn't you say anything?" "Because I don't care that you're not a racehorse." "You love to run, and that's all that matters." "Maybe to you." "But it's not your problem, Sandy." "You know, if you wanna see the real problem, try looking down." "Fine." "After we're done with the gate we need to think about how he's gonna last." "So we gotta work on stamina, more than speed because zebras burn more adrenaline." "They have a heightened flight reflex that comes from being hunted on the plains of Africa." "You're not the only one who uses the Internet." "Impressive, Dad." "Come on, let's get back to it." "Let's give him one more shot at it." "All right, bring him in." "That's it, that's it." "Careful, Chan." "Careful." "It's all right." "Stop." "Walk him away." "Now, just walk him away from the gate." "The gate's always trouble." "They should know." "He needs a break." "He needs a break." "So do I." "I don't know why he's acting like this." "It's gonna take him some time, that's all." "He'll be all right." "I better go talk to the kid." "Take it easy on him." "Hey, what's your problem?" "I'm not a racehorse." "What?" "I don't belong in the gate!" "No, no, you're wrong." "And I'll tell you why." "Racing is for anyone." "Anyone with a fire in their heart." "What do you know, you little nobody?" "You never raced." "They're all the same." "Tucker doesn't understand." "He didn't even know that I was a zebra." "He doesn't get it." "What's he ever done?" "Let me tell you something." "I've made a few clams on the ponies." "This guy's all hair and no brains." "That's just about enough out of you, young colt." "And, Goose, bang!" "Hit the hay!" "Come here." "People think they know everything." "You tell somebody something, they get an attitude." "Hey, I didn't know the goat was packing." "Come up here." "I want you to take a look up there." "You tell me what you see." "I've seen them." "The Chief, my girl and her mother." "And that's it?" "No." "Look closer." "That's Sir Trenton." "And who else?" "Tucker." "That's right, Tucker." "He trained Sir Trenton." "He and the Chief trained all the winners." "And not one of them ever, ever thanked him." "How come he never said anything?" "Because to him actions speak louder than words." "He believes in you." "And now you're gonna have to believe in him too." "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting." "I'm the last one who should be name-calling." "Look at me." "When you got shorter legs than a sheepdog you get used to being made fun of." "I can relate." "It's just...." "I'm not really a racehorse." "I'm a...." "I'm a zebra." "So what?" "You're a horse with stripes who needs an attitude adjustment." "Tucker, you don't really think I have what it takes, do you?" "Now listen to me, kid." "You're right." "You don't have the strength or ability of a Thoroughbred..." "I knew it." "...but you have got more heart than all of them put together." "But the gate!" "I freeze up." "It keeps me from running." "I don't know what it is." "I can't do it." "Most horses are afraid of the gate at first." "It's perfectly normal." "But they get over it." "You will too." "You just keep running, okay?" "And let the Chief worry about the gate." "He knows what he's doing." "Attaboy!" "Yeah, boy!" "Did you see that?" "You see that?" "Good job, Chan!" "There it is!" "That's what I'm talking about!" "Good job, Chan!" "Walk him out." "We might actually have a chance." "If we're lucky, maybe at 99-1." "There's just one thing left to work on." "And that's the gate." "No problem." "You've worked every kind of horse there is." "Yeah, well, the problem is, he's not a horse." "Relax, Nolan." "If anyone can do it, you can." "I'm counting on it." "It's gonna sound like a carnival." "You won't know which way to look." "Look straight ahead." "Just ignore all that noise, all that talk, all that yelling, all that jiggling." "Come on, now." "You gotta let all this...." "This out of your mind." "All that's gotta fall away." "That's right." "That's right." "Because I want your world to be silent." "I want you to hear nothing but your own heartbeat." "That's it." "Easy does it." "Come on, buddy." "That's a good boy." "Good boy." "Good boy." "That's it." "You got the idea." "Come on, now." "Good job, Stripes." "Good boy." "Chan, duck your head." "That's not so hard." "Slow down." "Good boy." "Easy does it." "Good boy." "Just like that." "There you go." "Good." "That's right, good boy." "Attaboy." "Easy does it." "Good boy." "You did it." "Yeah, I guess I did, huh?" "Now what?" "Now you give it all you got." "Let's show them what we got!" "They cannot be serious." "This will not stand." "I will not allow that beast to run in my competition." "Please, Father, don't interfere." "I can win it, fair and square." "That's not a risk I'm willing to take." "Double Pride's workout schedule." "Pull!" "Pull!" "Come on, pull!" "Come on, Scuzz!" "What are you doing here?" "Give it to me!" "Push!" "I can't do no more, take it!" "Put the marshmallows back on!" "You ate the marshmallows!" "Stretch him out!" "Lighten up on him!" "Lighten up on him!" "Boy, are you in for a surprise." "You'll never beat a Trenton." "You weren't supposed to hear that." "Oh, God, what is that?" "I got a million eyes, and you got every one of them burning!" "Well, tomorrow's the big day, kid." "Do you think I'm ready?" "Absolutely." "Listen, you can run, there's no doubt about that." "Your legs are gonna be burning when you're turning for home." "That's when you find out what you're made of." "You know what I used to tell my racers?" ""Don't look back, leave it all on the track."" "What does that mean?" "Kid, when the time is right, you'll know." "Hello?" "Where you think you going?" "You have a big day tomorrow." "You can't go." "I need to make things right with Sandy." "All right." "I understand." "But listen, a little advice from an old goat:" "Relationships are like racing." "When you do it for love, you've already won." "Go on, go on." "Hey, Sandy." "What?" "I was hoping you'd come by." "I'm sorry that I was mean." "I'm sorry that l" "You go first." "The things I said the other day?" "I just wanna say I was wrong." "Well, yeah." "You just" " You got me so mad because you weren't seeing it!" "Seeing what?" "How lucky you are." "Me, lucky?" "Yes." "The grass is way greener on your side of the fence." "Look at the training facilities." "You've got everything a horse could dream of." "Yeah, everything except real friends." "Friends like you have." "And a friend like I bet you are." "Listen, Sandy, I know I don't look like a racehorse, but...." "Stop!" "Stop." "You know, I care more about what's on the inside, and you have more on the inside than any of the horses over there." "And I also happen to think that what you have on the outside is the cutest thing on four hooves." "And, just so you know, I'm already on your side." "Well, well, well." "What have we here?" "Beauty and the beast." "Oh, no." "Sir Trenton." "I'm afraid there's been a change of plans, zebra." "You're about to get scratched from tomorrow's racecard." "Oh, no." "There are so many." "It's okay." "Let's stay calm." "Pretty picture, huh, boys?" "Don't do this, Sir Trenton, please!" "Take her away." "All right, boss." "Let's go." "Sandy!" "Stripes, I'm not going anywhere without you!" "It's all right, Sandy." "Just go." "Yeah!" "Better hide your eyes there, honey!" "We're out of here." "Trust me, you don't wanna see this." "You better not hurt her." "Oh, don't fret about her." "As long as you don't race tomorrow, I wouldn't dream of harming her." "You, on the other hand, need to be taught a lesson." "Show him!" "Oh, that's just great!" "The race is in four hours." "Well, he went out last night, he said he was gonna go find Sandy and" "And you, Miss Softy, you just let him go, didn't you?" "Goose, time to earn your keep." "I'm on it!" "Where are you, kid?" "Where are you?" "Looks like the work of a pro." "Hey, kid." "Kid, come on, wake up!" "How many wings am I holding up?" "Is he okay?" "Goose, go get him some water." "I knew I should've stayed with him last night." "They have Sandy." "Sir Trenton's gonna hurt her if I race." "Those dirty rats." "I say we get busy and show those bums what for!" "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" "No, you right." "You are right." "Let us go and kick some horse flank." "Come on, y'all!" "Let's move in with the SWAT team!" "Quiet!" "Thank you." "Now, listen." "To rescue Sandy, we all have to work together." "Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in!" "Here's the plan." "And I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier." "I could build a giant wooden chicken and hide inside." "Then, under cover of night, I'll jump out and I'll...." "Or I could just stay home." "Knock it off, Reggie." "Now, listen up." "Here's what we're gonna do." "Listen, boy." "I won this race my daddy won it, his daddy won it, all the way back to General Trenton who won the first Kentucky Open 100 years ago." "You get my point?" "I'll do my best, Dad." "Yeah, well, good." "You won't get away with this." "Hush, now, little girl." "You're interfering with my Mozart." "I wonder if he was a Thoroughbred." "There's Sandy." "And there's Sir Trenton all 1500 pounds of him." "We'll never get her out." "Oh, yes, we will." "We just need a diversion." "I got your diversion right here." "Out of my way." "Goose!" "Stick with the plan!" "Hey, moron!" "Up here!" "Never side against the family." "Will you remind me again why we brought him?" "Hey, who killed the lights?" "How did you get in here?" "Say your prayers, pelican." "Your lights are about to go out for good." "Can I get a little help here?" "Oh, great." "There goes plan A." "Say hello" "To plan B!" "Horse's booty at 12 o'clock." "Follow me, you're my wingman." "No way!" "You follow me!" "You are my wingman!" "I am not your wingman!" "You're my "pull my wing" man!" "Whoa, dude." "A little trim wouldn't kill you!" "What is that hideous racket?" "Get back here!" "Come on, I'll fight you with one wing behind my back." "Nobody is allowed in my stables!" "I'll shut you up for good!" "Scuzz!" "You always get us in trouble." "Hey, Trenton!" "Walk this way." "Break it down!" "What in the--?" "This just ain't my speed here." "You can do it." "You're Superfly, son." "All right, step back and watch me work." "Turn this up, now!" "Say it like you mean it!" "Come on, now!" "What is going on here?" "Tucker, get Sandy." "You're the boss." "What?" "Come on, Sandy." "Tucker!" "You old rail rat!" "I might've known!" "Let's go!" "Quick!" "You and your animal freak show have gotten in my way for the last time!" "Those legs won't carry you far, Tucker!" "Hey!" "Wait for us!" "Where are they?" "Come on." "Stripes!" "Over here!" "Sandy!" "Look out, he's coming!" "I'm getting too old for this." "You was born too old for this." "Let's go!" "You won't get away with this!" "Leave us alone, Sir Trenton." "You and your foolish friends accomplished nothing." "The affections of a filly do not make you a racehorse!" "You know something, Sir Trenton?" "I don't want to be a racehorse." "I'm a zebra." "And I'm going to the big race." "You fool." "Come on, Tucker." "Let's go win ourselves a horserace." "I like your attitude." "You runts don't know what you're in for." "Well, he's nowhere south of the barn." "He's not by the creek either." "What are we gonna do?" "We're gonna keep looking." "We'll start at the top of the hill." "Well, let's go!" "We got a race to run." "Stripes is missing." "We don't know what happened." "What are you talking about?" "He looks okay to me." "Chan, get him cleaned up and loaded right now." "You got it, coach." "It's the filly." "It always is." "Hey!" "Hey, she's from Philly." "I didn't know she was from Philly." "Man, I love those Philly cheesesteaks." "Or any kind of cheese, really." "Or any food from anywhere." "Especially candy and poop." "What were we talking about?" "I hate my life." "Guys, I'm not gonna let Tucker have all the fun." "There's no way I'm missing this." "Hey, hold on!" "Wait for me!" "This chicken is flying the coop!" "Finally, some peace and quiet." "Y'all go ahead." "Bye-bye, now." "I'll just stay here and watch the palace." "For shizzle." "Hang on a second." "I just...." "I think your mom would've wanted you to have that." "Dad I don't know what to say." "Well, you were right." "You know, I've been scared since Mom died." "You know, too scared to train horses too scared to let you grow up." "You forgive your old man?" "Daddy, you're not old." "Maybe a little gray." "All right, well, let's get a move on." "Riders, up!" "There you go." "Okay, come on." "Stay away from the rail, now." "Don't get boxed in." "Ladies and gentlemen, would you all please stand and join in singing the national anthem." "When you're in the gate, don't listen to the other racers." "Let them do all the horsing around." "Save your energy for when it counts." "Right." "But, Tucker, I do kind of feel sick to my stomach." "Good." "That means you're ready." "This is Courtney Jones, KNN, coming to you live from Turfway Park, where horseracing history is about to be made." "Can a zebra...?" "Sentimental favorite, Stripes can beat Trenton's Pride." "He is trained by the legendary Nolan Walsh who came out of retirement specifically for this race." "Stripes is ridden by the remarkable 16-year-old jockey, Channing Walsh." "What could go down as extraordinary in the history of horseracing is taking place at Turfway Park." "Only a few short weeks ago, no one had ever heard of Stripes, the racing zebra." "Nolan." "Clara." "Beautiful day, huh?" "It would be if you weren't working so hard to ruin my race day with that glorified donkey of yours." "You're chipper for someone who's about to lose." "You wanna make this more interesting?" "I mean...." "I'm listening." "All right." "I'll make you a deal." "My zebra wins, I get your filly, the white jumper." "And your horse wins, I'll...." "I'll give you the Walsh farm." "Nolan." "My filly is worth twice as much as your piece of land." "I tell you what." "You lose, and you come back to work for me." "Lifetime contract, in writing." "Deal." "It'll be real nice to have you back, Nolan." "All right, no speeches." "You all know what to do." "Go get them." "There he is!" "Come on, Franny!" "You didn't think we'd let you have all the glory to yourself." "Just like old times, Franny." "Ladies and gentlemen, the starter has now called the roll." "The horses are approaching the starting gate." "I'm gonna grind you into the track, pony boy!" "You're pathetic!" "You're going down!" "Knock you out of the park!" "Gonna get trampled!" "You're a joke!" "They're all in." "And away they go." "Marietta's Rock, Pirate's Cove and Trenton's Pride came away smartly, with Jordan's Revenge...." "Ride, Stripes!" "Go!" "Come on, Stripes!" "Ruffshodd keeping Stripes tight on the rail with Marc's A Mystery, Flemish Fury and Brown-Nose-Biren." "As they head into the first corner, Marietta's Rock's gone ahead to lead...." "You're out of your league, freak!" "You should've stuck to racing the mailman." "Tell Tucker Ruffshodd's got him boxed in!" "Copy that, Goose!" "Ten-four!" "Roger Wilco!" "Trenton's Pride is back in third." "Stripes is along the inside...." "Ruffshodd's boxed him in." "Tell Stripes hug the rail..." "...and make his move at the turn." "Got it!" "Let's fly!" "Hey, Buzz?" "What?" "Did you notice the irony when you said, "Let's fly"?" "What are you talking about?" "I'm just asking." "Because we are flies and all." "Do you ever think about that stuff?" "Would you shut up?" "Tucker says to hug the rail and make your move at the turn." "You're doing great!" "You're doing great!" "Mistake." "Miyuki's Magic is a long leader outside, then comes Marc's A Mystery...." "How does the rail taste?" "You'll never see the finish line!" "Ruffshodd's putting the Jersey squeeze on him." "That's a dirty trick!" "Oh, not for long." "Time to take a bite out of crime." "Oh, I hate horse meat." "Here goes." "coming out of the turn." "And Ruffshodd has inexplicably tossed his rider!" "And Ruffshodd is out of the race!" "Marietta's Rock...." "That's my boy." "You've always been a pain in the butt." "They're down the back stretch." "Trenton's Pride is running the perfect race." "He's moving like an absolute winner." "Trenton's Pride, right up there in third spot." "The sentimental choice, Stripes, is coming under pressure and starting to drop back." "Stripes seems to be running out of steam." "Had enough, boy?" "Trenton's Pride is going strongly up there amongst the leading line." "Three parts of the way through the race, Marietta's Rock still in front from Pirate's Cove, then Trenton's Pride moving like a winner in third." "It was just too much to ask of him." "in comes Miyuki's Magic." "By a league is Pirate's Cove...." "I can't do it." "I can't do it!" "Stripes is in the rear." "Oh, boy." "Maybe I was wrong." "He might not have it." "The kid" " The kid is wiped out." "Yeah, he's falling back fast." "All right." "Okay." "One last shot." "You tell him if he believes he's not good enough, he should stop trying." "It's okay." "This is Superfly." "We're proceeding to the target." "Do you copy, Scuzz?" "Hey, I told you to use my code name, Luke Scuzzwalker!" "Kid, listen." "Coach says that if you're not good enough, you should stop trying." "It's okay." "You tell Tucker I've got a message for him!" "Hey!" "Stripes said to tell you, "Don't look back, leave it all on the track!"" "Yes!" "That trick works every time!" "Good boy!" "Go, Stripes!" "Let's go!" "Stripes is starting to get in on the inside." "Stripes is surging back into contention." "Trenton's Pride in front, but here comes Stripes charging along the inside." "And Stripes is picking them off one by one, he's coming at Trenton's Pride!" "Come on, Stripes!" "Stripes!" "Come on, Stripes!" "Stripes is coming in around the inside." "Come on, Channing!" "Come on, Channing!" "These two are now locked together!" "Stripes inside, finding trouble on the rail." "Behind him, Trenton's Pride." "These two are head-to-head!" "Come on!" "Let him run!" "They're head-to-head." "They're inside the final stages!" "Stripes and Trenton's Pride...." "Come on!" "Yes, yes!" "Come on!" "They're racing up towards the line." "Stripes along the inside." "Let him run!" "Come on, Channing!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Run!" "Move your butt!" "Come on!" "Way to go!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "That's my boy right there!" "Kentucky Open, he's edged out Trenton's Pride and Stripes is the winner of the Kentucky Open narrowly beating Trenton's Pride in a driving finish." "I won." "I can't believe I won!" "That's my best boy." "Come on, hurry up!" "We're going to the winner's circle!" "This is his moment, guys." "Come on." "He did it!" "Did you see him, Dad?" "Did you see him?" "He almost shot out from underneath me!" "Your mom would be so proud." "And so am I." "Hey, Stripey." "Yeah?" "My father was wrong about you." "You're a great racer." "Thanks!" "So are you." "We left it all on the track, didn't we?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I guess we did." "I'll see you at the fence?" "Yeah." "See you." "Great job." "You make a lousy gangster, but you're a stand-up pelican." "Listen, you mug, I...." "Hey, that's the nicest thing a very short horse ever said to me." "Then why don't you stick around here." "We make a pretty good team." "Now, that's an offer I can't refuse." "But first there's something I gotta take care of." "I demand an inquiry!" "Do you hear me?" "Channing, over here!" "That zebra was all over the field!" "You listen to me, I want that zebra disqualified!" "Say hello to my little friend." "And I insist that you pay attention to" "To me." "If you'll excuse me." "I know how you feel, honey." "It happened to me." "All I can tell you is rinse, lather and repeat." "Rinse, lather and repeat!" "Is there anybody special you'd like to dedicate today's victory to?" "Stripes!" "Stripes!" "Over here!" "Where's he going?" "Okay, Dean, get him." "Get the animals." "You should be in the winner's circle." "We both should be." "I'd be nothing without you." "Thanks, kid." "The roses make you look like Elvis." "Very Elvis." "Very Elvis '75." "I'm so proud of you, Stripes." "Thanks, Sandy." "Coming through!" "Coming through!" "Big winner!" "Coming through!" "Yeah!" "Catch me, baby, catch me!" "Get the good side!" "Hey, boy." "Say cheese!" "Big smile!"