"If you have any silver on you, now would be the time to reveal it." "No way." "I ain't that stupid." "Yes, you are." "Is there blood in my hair?" "What?" "Is there blood in my hair?" "I don't know, I" " I-- I can't see in this light." "How about now?" "Yeah, there's a little bit of blood there." "Yeah." "Well, this is bad." "Pam is gonna kill me." "Who the fuck is Pam?" "Why, do you wanna meet her?" "No." "I'm" " I'm good." "Well, you're going to." "Where are you taking me?" "To find out what you know." "I wouldn't try anything rash if I were you." "I'm still hungry." "Another first." "How do you mean?" "We've never had make-up sex before." "How does it compare to "you thought I was dead" sex?" "That was pretty great too," "But I wouldn't want to go through that again." "I had a feeling like I'd lost you." "And yet you like fighting with me." "I don't like it." "It's just" "Let's not get too used to it then." "We don't want to be one of those couples." "Yeah, right." "Holy" " I am so embarrassed I could die." "What is it?" "Jessica." "I completely forgot she was here." "Think she heard us?" "No." "If she had, she'd have no compunction about letting us know it." "You know, you might want to try going a little easier on her." "It's hard enough being a teenage girl without" "She is a vampire, Sookie." "So are you." "And yet parts of your former self are still in there, right?" "I wouldn't be with you if they weren't." "Yes." "But I've had to work extremely hard at finding my way back to my humanity." "Fragile as it may be." "When a vampire's as new as Jessica is, she has no humanity." "She's in the grips of an overwhelming number of transformations." "There will be times when she cannot control even a single impulse." "Believe me, she has many." "How is that any different from being a teenage girl?" "No humanity, check." "In the grips of overwhelming transformations, check." "Cannot control impulses, check." "All right, uh, how is that different?" "All right, so, what do you suggest I do?" "Just spoil the girl?" "Give in to her every whim and desire?" "After all, that is what every teenage girl wants, isn't it?" "You don't have to be sarcastic with me, Bill Compton." "And you should at least think about what I'm saying, if for no other reason than what you're doing right now isn't working out so hot." "Hmm." "Kind of ironic." "We promised each other we weren't gonna fight anymore, and yet here we are." "This isn't a fight." "Yes, it is." "Well, then..." "Prepare to be made up to." "This is a disaster." "We'll have to go much shorter than I planned." "Yeah, well, I said I was sorry, Pam." "But he took silver to me." "You were there." "You saw it." "Defend me." "I don't know what it is you wanna know, but point me in the direction, and I give to you." "I've seen your website." "It's quite, um, low rent." "But your clients miss you, Lafayette." "They're wondering if you're ever coming back." "Am I?" "Look, I'm here because of the V, right?" "How 'bout I give you the names of everybody I ever sold to?" "And all this time I thought prostitutes were good at keeping secrets." "Oh, don't get it twisted, honeycomb, I'm a survivor first," "A capitalist second, and a whole bunch of other shit after that." "But a hooker, dead last." "So if I got even a Jew at an Al-Qaeda pep rally shot at getting my black ass up out this motherfucker," "I'm taking it." "Now, what you wanna know?" "The vampire you had your little arrangement with." "Eddie Fournier." "What happened to him?" "Um, I don't" " I don't know." "I swear to God I don't." "Last time I saw him he was doing real good." "But I" " I think he may have been taken by somebody." "By whom?" "I don't know." "I" " I mean I ain't sure." "Hmm." "Well, that's not very forthcoming of you." "Chow, you're up." "No, no, chill out." "Shit." "I-I think it" " I think it was Jason Stackhouse." "Jason Stackhouse?" "Sadly, this information is of no use to me." "Not now, anyway." "I understand dealers of vampire blood sometimes trade product with one another across state lines." "Any buyers in the Dallas area?" "Yes." "One." "He never gave me his name though." "I have an e-mail address." "A friend of mine in the Dallas area, his name is Godrick, has gone missing." "Now, while the circumstances of his disappearance are unclear, it stands to reason his blood would be very valuable," "As he's over twice my age and ten times the vampire I will ever be." "Oh, Eric, you don't do humble well." "I was not being humble." "This happens to be true." "Your associate, this "Pussylover."" "Has he or she mentioned any new product coming on the market?" "No." "No." "And I would tell you." "You-- you know that." "Chowtake our guest and lock him back out, will you?" "Fuck that, I ain't going back down there." "I gave you" "You gave me nothing!" "I'm not going back." "Chow, now." "No!" "No!" "I gave you every" "I gave you everything!" "I ain't going back down!" "¶ we all come together as one ¶" "¶ bound by the glory of the sun ¶" "¶ our mission here has just begun ¶" "¶ we won't stop until our work is done ¶" "Luke McDonald." "No relation to the restaurant." "Okay." "Any relation to the farm?" "What farm?" "Ah, never mind." "Jason Stackhouse." "Nice to meet you." "You play ball?" "Oh, uh, yeah." "What position?" "QB one, actually." "Tight end." "Second team all-American." "Ha-ha!" "I don't doubt it, man." "Look at you." "You'd make one hell of a target." "I'd have locked onto you." "You would have." "Blew my knee out." "Freshman year at college." "Texas AM." "Whoa." "You had the scholarship and everything?" "Yep." "Everything happens for a reason." "If it weren't for my knee," "I'd have never found my true calling." "And it might have taken me three solid years of Bible study and abstinence and applying and reapplying to do it, but it was all worth it." "It all led me to this moment, right here, getting on this here bus." "Wow." "Yeah." "How about you?" "When'd you set your heart on going to leadership conference?" "Uh, two days ago." "Two days ago." "Yeah." "Well, I didn't know about it till then." "See, I was having breakfast with Steve and Sarah, and they asked me if I wanted to come." "You had breakfast with Steve and Sarah?" "Yeah." "What?" "I'll tell you what." "With luck like yours, maybe some of it will rub off on me." "You want--?" "You wanna bunk together?" "Shit, yeah." "Don't-- don't say "shit."" "Shit?" "Oh, no." "It's okay." "Right." "It's okay." "Forgive yourself." "Let's sing." "¶ if ¶" "¶ you have doubt just sing this verse ¶" "¶ they live forever but we were here first ¶" "Oh, hey, I was wondering when you would wake up." "Come here." "Mmm." "What?" "You smell nasty and nice, all at the same time." "Okay." "So, um, as I was trying to sleep last night," "I realized I don't know that much about you." "And I'd kind of like to, or..." "When it comes to men, I've got a long history of putting the cart so far out in front that the horse can't see it." "So now I'm just trying to get it right." "You like me, Tar" "No, I know you do." "Of course I like you." "Take a shower in your sweat, if I could." "Okay." "Hee-hee!" "I mean, we've known each other for what now, couple weeks?" "I mean, people usually take years unloading their baggage," "So I'm just trying to figure out what's the rush?" "The rush is I was just curious." "Now I see how bad you want to avoid it," "I ain't just curious anymore." "I'm worried." "Okay." "I don't have a job." "I already figured that out." "Get to the good stuff." "Okay, um..." "The day we met, remember I told you" "I was worse off than you when Mary-Ann found me?" "Well, the truth is I was, um, living under a freeway overpass without a penny in my pocket." "And that's a penny I still don't have today, by the way." "I don't care about money." "I've spent some time in prison." "What for?" "Drugs." "Possession or dealing?" "Heh." "I gotta pick one?" "Okay." "Colorful." "And I also served some time for armed robbery and assault." "But I got out early on the assault charge for good behavior, so..." "That's a plus." "Yeah, you oughta know." "Our own Mary Simmons spoke to the parents at their home in Shreveport earlier today." "If anyone has seen our daughter, or even if you're the person who took her, she's our first-born." "And she's a goodhearted, smart girl who's never done anything to harm anybody." "So please just bring her home." "We just want to see our baby again." "Another harrowing appeal from young Jessica Hamby's mother..." "And so it is with open arms that Steve and I welcome all of you to the Light of Day leadership conference." "Tomorrow's leaders today." "Amanda will be coming around with your ring of honesty." "Your ring symbolizes the promise..." "Welcome." " ..." "To us..." " Oh." "Thank you." "...And to yourselves." "That you will always be completely honest and open while here on this campus." "Also, bear in mind, that your ring is made out of real silver." "So protect it with all your heart." "And maybe one day, your ring will protect you." "Die, fangers!" "Whoo!" "Now, some of you already have friends here, but most of you probably don't." "And this is nothing to worry about." "Because you will all be fast friends, as you all have one thing in common." "Because for every one of you, today is the day holy light begins to shine on you." "Heh!" "Amen." " Amen!" " Amen, brother!" " Amen." " That's right." "Oh, whoopy Daisy." "You'll get the hang of it." "Ugh, sure." " You're late." " Sorry." "How about me?" "Am I on time?" "I'm gonna go punch you in." "I was in and out of here so fast last night" "I barely got a look at the place." "It's, um-- it's so, um..." "Vibrant." "Mmm." "Well, thanks for your concern, but, uh, there's a big rodeo on Monroe today." "So that's why we slow." "Ah." "Well, Tara says the food here is wonderful, so let's see what I'm in the mood for." "It's my first table." "Wish me luck." "I got this one." "Oh, are you sure?" "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh, you just-- you just focus on one thing at a time." "Stop fucking with me." "Wow." "Tableside visit from the owner himself." "I must be important." "I want you to leave." "You're not really gonna refuse me service, are you?" "I mean after I forgave you a hundred thousand dollar loan, the least you could do is let me buy myself some lunch." "What can I get you?" "I think I will go with the stuffed snapper with the crawfish topping, the blackened rib eye, the red beans and rice, the-- ooh, the fried catfish, and, uh, oh, dear," "now, would it be possible to get the smothered pork chops for lunch, even though it's here on the dinner entrées?" "Hm?" "Now, how are your...?" "That's how you capture the flag." "Boom!" "Capture that." "All right, show us your muscles." "I wanna see the flag you captured." "Here comes Stackhouse." "He's back." "Whoo, yeah!" "I see you." "Nice hair." "That's what I'm talking about right there." "Hey." "Sookie, what are you doing here?" "I thought it was your day off." "It is." "How many times do I have to tell you that coming in to work when you don't have to is pathetic?" "It's like going back to school and visiting your teachers." "I didn't come to see my teachers." "I came to see you." "So come on." "Take a break." "Sam will be pissed." "He's always pissed." "I'm" " I'm losing it, Sam." "Terry, come on." "What is this?" "It ain't my fault." "How the hell am I supposed to read her writing?" "Daphne." "Daphne!" "Motherfucker." "So, basically, you're like a stepmother to a vampire?" "Okay, you did not just call me that." "Mm-hm." "What about you?" "How've you been?" "Oh, Sook." "I'm confused." "About what?" "You know I've been living over at Mary-Ann's for the last couple weeks?" "I do." "Well, in a lot of ways, I don't ever wanna leave." "I mean, everything is taken care of for me there." "My bed gets made, my laundry gets done, there's breakfast on the patio served to you by a chef." "Can I move in?" "Seriously, right?" "But it scares me too." "And maybe that's just 'cause I'm not used to taking and not giving, but something inside me says, "This is weird, Tara." "Don't trust it."" "What do you think?" "Does all this sound too good to be true to you?" "I think before I answer that, I have to tell you" "I may have a conflict of interest in all this." "Conflict of interest?" "Yeah." "See, the main reason I came to see you today was" "Tara Thornton, would you like to move in with me?" "Heh, really?" "Are you serious?" "Of course I'm serious." "It would be so much fun." "And we know we get along." "When we were kids, you slept over more often than you didn't, and we never wanted to pull each other's hair out or anything." "That's where you're wrong." "I was always jealous of your long blond hair." "More than once I thought about cutting it while you slept." "You did not." "Oh, yes, I did." "So--?" "So, what do you think?" "'cause I've been trying to get my act together, to move into Gran's room for the past couple weeks, and your moving in might be the kick in the butt I need to do it." "Oh, Daphne!" "That's right on my feet." "How am I supposed to ignore that?" "I'm sorry." "If you wanna make it to Bill's tonight, you better get out of here before Sam asks you to stay." " You're probably right." " Hi, Sam." "Bye, Sam." "Oh, is this the infamous Sookie?" "Uh-huh." "Sookie, Mary-Ann." "Mary-Ann, Sookie." "It's nice to meet you." "Oh, likewise." "Well, you're very special, you know." "I mean, to have been through everything you have in your life, not to mention the last few weeks and to emerge through all of it walking, let alone smiling, it's-- well, it's simply astonishing." "I see what you mean about her, Tara." "She has an old soul, doesn't she?" "Oh, sorry." "I'm usually good at placing people's accents," "But yours I can't get a handle on." "Where are you from?" "Cape Cod." "Best potato chips in the world." "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm running late." "Tara, let me know what you decide about moving in, all right?" "'cause I think it'd be really great." "Oh, she asked you to move in with her?" "That was awfully nice." "Yeah, but I" " I don't know what I'm doing, so" "Who the fuck are you?" "Oh, shit." "Well?" "It's daytime." "Thank you, Jesus." "Thank you, God." "You're human, right?" "Kind of." "But I ain't letting you go." "If that's what you're thinking." "Look at you." "Not only is you sexy, mmm, but you can read minds too." "That getting me all riled up in my nether regions." "Don't you try and flirt with me." "They told me to pay special attention to the faggot drag queen in the basement." "Oh, skank ass bitch, you gonna let me up outta here!" "I do that, I'm good as dead." "And you know it." "Don't you move." "You ain't gonna shoot me, not with them shaky-ass hands." "You ain't got the stomach for it." "Bitch." "Ungh!" "Holy fucker." "I'm sorry." "I'm so fucking sorry." "Oh!" "Oh!" "I hate guns!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "I'm the one who got shot." "Will you quit screaming and go get me a doc before I bleed the fuck out?" "Okay." "Oh!" "Goddamn." "Hurry up." "Motherfucker." "Argh!" "These are all dirty." "Just give me the fucking towel." "Jesus, everybody." "Honesty." "Honesty, babe!" "Let's hear it again for our very own Amanda James!" "You did very good, honey." " Definitely." " Honesty." "That was "Jesus asked me out today,"" "and it's on her new album, which drops next Tuesday," "Is that right?" "Yes." "Uh, look for it at Wal-Mart, Target, Cosco, and, of course, the single's already available for download on iTunes." "So check it out." "Hee-hee!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "I love you, Amanda!" "You hate to have to follow that." "Uh, all right." "Go on, go on, sit down." "All right, now, uh, finally tonight, we're gonna wind things down with a little game, which, while fun, should also be instructive." "Because as each of you heads out into the world, at some point, you will be faced with real life encounters with vampire sympathizers." "And we want to make sure that you're ready." "So, Sarah, honey, can you come on up here, please?" "Now, I'm gonna ask my beautiful bride to play the part of a sympathizer." "Oh, come on, y'all, it's just pretend." "And..." "Jason Stackhouse." "Why don't you come on up and play the part of the good guy?" "Uh... me?" "Well you captured the flag, didn't you?" "Yeah, Stackhouse!" "You the man, Jason!" "Go, Shreve, go!" "Hello?" "I just saw my parents on TV." "Oh, no." "I'm sorry." "I finally get why they never wanted me to watch it in the first place." "It's horrible." "Um..." "Where's Bill?" "I have no idea." "All he told me was, "Jessica, I have errands to run." ""Errands which do not require your presence." ""So remain here and do your best to stay out of trouble while I'm gone."" "And I hate it here." "I hate it so much." "Jessica." "I, um..." "I think I miss them." "Your parents?" "And my little sister." "I was always totally horrible to her." "I was just such a brat" "Hey, what's wrong with me?" "Sweetie, vampires don't cry regular tears." "So when you cry, you're gonna cry blood from now on." "Well, why do you know that and I don't?" "I mean, don't you think I should know this about myself?" "Bill should probably have told you." "Jeez, you think?" "Here's some tissue." "Look, I don't know if it helps at all," "But I think I kind of know how you feel." "At least a little." "No, you don't." "I'm not saying it's the same," "But I lost my gran a few weeks ago, and she was everything to me." "Everything I knew, and now she's gone." "But grandparents are supposed to die, and you're still alive." "I mean, with me, I'm the one that's dead." "It doesn't really matter who's dead." "When people love each other, and then suddenly one of them isn't there anymore, it's the distance that hurts." "And the distance is the same no matter who's doing the leaving." "What do you do when you feel?" "Well, sometimes I'll go into her room and just sit there a spell." "That helps?" "I don't know why, but just being someplace where she's been, it makes me feel better, at least a little bit." "You think maybe you could drive me to my parents' so that I could" "Okay, I did not mean to-- you know I can't do that." "Please." "I-I would just sit in the car." "I-I swear." "All I'm asking is to sit across the street and catch a glimpse of them through the window." "J-just so I can say goodbye." "I'm sorry." "It's just not my place." "But if you explained it to Bill the same way you just explained it to me, I'm sure he'd take you." "Are you really sure about that?" "'cause I'm not so sure he would." "Okay." "Really?" "Yes." "But we're just driving by and that's it." "And we should swing by my place first and get you a change of clothes, because I am not taking you out in public, dressed like that." "Well, thank you, Sookie." "Thank you so, so, much." "Oh, don't mention it." "To Bill." "Ever." "Mm-hm." "I like this one best." "Fine, go try it on." "You look positively lost." "Yes, I do feel a little... at sea." "I can help you pick something out if you'd like." "You're looking for your daughter?" "Yes." "My daughter, Jessica." "Mm, such a pretty name." "What do you think of this?" "It's very nice, but I don't think so." "Mmm, my, we are conservative, aren't we?" "No, not really." "Just old-fashioned." "Ha!" "Don't be silly." "You don't look old enough to be old-fashioned." "Not by a long shot." "You'd be surprised." "You're funny." "And cold." "Whoo." "Well, you're not-- I am vampire." "Yes." "Tell you what." "Why don't you come with me to the dressing room and I could model this for you?" "That's very kind of you, but no thank you." "You sure, now?" "I am." "Good evening, old sport." "Eric?" "It's the new me." "You like?" "I do." "Very much." "Oh!" "Ha-ha!" "Okay." "Heh!" "Whew!" "We need to talk." "Listen, lady, if you're gonna give them all the rights that normal people have, then how am I supposed to protect my sweet little girl from any vampire who wants to just fly on in and marry her?" "You have a daughter?" "Well, ahem, I was a pretty bad boy up until the Light of Day leadership conference." "So yeah." "It's entirely possible that I could." "Heh!" "Well, I don't give a hoot about your daughter." "In fact, nothing you say about vampire rights is gonna change my mind." "Because..." "I am a vampire." "Hey!" "I'm so sorry." "It's okay." "Oh, my god." "Hey, honey." "You all right?" "It's okay." "You all right?" "Yeah." "I got another deluxe, I can't guarantee that it's cooked." "Oh, honey, you are sweating like a ice-water pitcher." "I'm feeling the pressure, Arlene." "I don't like feeling the pressure." "Well, use your last break." "I ain't taking one." "I'm coming around there." "Daphne!" "Order up!" "Ow!" "Fucking" "Give me your tongs." "I'm fine." "Give me your tongs." "Taking a break." "Be a doll, take that out to table four for me." "Okay." "Which one's table four again?" "Well, I" " I'll find it." "I'll find it." "She ain't working out." "Nope." "Mm-mm." "It's funny." "Most of these orders are going out to table four." "What the hell's going on at table four?" "Miss!" "Miss?" "I think you're looking for me." "I'd have stood there all night if you hadn't noticed me." "So, thanks." "Are you new here?" "How could you tell?" "Because you care about doing a good job." "Now you just keep on caring and one day, you'll be the best at what you do." "That's my advice." "Don't you think you've had enough?" "I know what you're thinking." "Nine years sober." "Why give it all up?" "Well, what I got to say to that is:" "Why the hell not?" "Lots of people in this town don't need to see you this way." "The people in this town don't see me." "Not for what I really am." "Well, how about you quit feeling sorry for yourself and suck it up?" "You want respect from people, start by respecting yourself." "Bud took me off a case, Sam." "I don't know about you," "But in my book that's a capital d motion." "Ah, hey I'm sorry, I didn't know that." "I'll get back on the right path tomorrow but tonight I just" "Don't cut me off, all right?" "No problem." "Oh, things are..." "That was the place where you could come, get a drink, nobody would bother you to dance." "I am with you there." "I hate to dance." "This one time, I was in a club in Shreveport, and I actually had a woman tell me" "I looked like a epileptic on meth." "Never again, Sam." "Never again." "¶ so we're gonna party ¶" "¶ past closing time ¶" "¶ still be going strong ¶" "¶ when the sun starts to shine ¶" "¶ we can shoot at the stars ¶" "¶ and howl at the moon ¶" "¶ and when it comes to loving ¶" "¶ we gonna break all the rules ¶" "¶ we gonna cause some trouble ¶" "¶ cause some trouble ¶" "¶ yeah, you wanna cause some trouble ¶" "¶ cause some trouble ¶" "¶ you oughta cause some trouble ¶" "¶ then, baby, I'm your man ¶" "¶ yeah ¶" "¶ you wanna cause some trouble ¶" "¶ cause some trouble ¶" "¶ you wan cause some¶" "¶ cause some trouble ¶" "¶ you wanna cause some trouble ¶" "The sheriff of Area 9 in Texas has gone missing." "Have you heard about that?" "I hadn't, but I" " I know the vampire of whom we speak." "His name is Godrick, correct?" "Indeed." "Now it goes without saying he needs to be found." "Which is where Sookie comes in." "No." "As she's yours, I'm asking your permission to take her with me to Dallas." "Eric, you can do whatever you want with me, but I am not putting her in this position anymore." "I cannot and I will not allow you to bring her into these matters." "We made a deal, your human and I." "That if I didn't kill anyone, she would work for me as often as I like." "Now, you remember this, don't you?" "You were there." "Taking her cross state lines is a far cry from taking her to Fangtasia for the evening." "I'm only asking your permission out of respect." "If I want her, I can simply take her." "Is "no" your final answer?" "It is." "Poorly played, Bill." "Here, this is it." "Across the street." "My daddy won't be home yet, but my mama and sister should be there." "Jessica?" "Yeah?" "I'm sorry." "Well, why are you crying?" "Because I did this to you." "If Bill hadn't..." "I took your life away," "And I know there's no way you'll ever be able to forgive me." "It's not even right to ask." "But I had no idea it was gonna lead to this." "I don't blame you, Sookie." "How's that even possible?" "There's my sister." "Jessica!" "Jessica!" "Get back in the car!" "Hello?" "You promised." "Fault" " Front door." "Jessica." "Mom?" "Don't cry." "Oh, hey, Eden." "Where were you?" "It doesn't matter." "Just call your father." "And-- and tell him that Jessica's home." "Uh, uh, momma," "I'd like to introduce you to my-- my friend." "This is Sookie." "Hello, Sookie." "Thank you." "Thank you so much for bringing her back." "You're welcome." "Aren't you gonna invite us in?" "What?" "!" "No, no." "We can't stay." "Honey, your arm's like ice." "Come on in and I'll make you some tea." "Come on." "¶ you say you're leaving ¶" "¶ won't be back no more ¶" "What just walked through that door?" " Trouble." " Hey, Tara." "Eggs, I'm working." "I know." "I'm sorry." "I got something to say, and I want you to hear me out, all right?" "I'll hear you out." "Jane Bodenhouse." "You are a crazy-ass drunk, but normally you wait for some loser to hit on you." "What the hell has gotten into you?" "I" " I don't know." "Okay." "What?" "All right." "Listen." "My dad left us when I was a little kid." "So I don't remember shit about him except this:" "He used to always say, "You can't get what you want in life, so in order to get it, you're prepared not to want it."" "Heh!" "Well, I say, "Fuck that."" "I wanna be with you, Tara," "And I refuse to pretend I don't." "Huh." "Detective Bellefleur, you come dance with me." "I don't dance." "With me you do." "Come on!" "Come on!" "What the hell!" "It's my last night drinking." "Think you walk on water, don't you?" "I'm pretty sure that was Moses." "No, it was Jesus." "Moses parted the Red Sea." "And what the hell was the deal with you snapping the American flag in half like you some Muslim Buffy with a dick?" "That's all kinds of messed up." "Well, I'm sorry you didn't like it, Mac, but everyone else" "Your being here is a joke, Stackhouse." "They may not see it now, but they will." "Day one might have went to you." "Day two belongs to the Luke-inator." "Die, Fanger!" "Jason Stackhouse, you're a tool of Satan." "He probably tripled it." "Traitor." "Just drink." "Jason Stackhouse." "They may not see it now, but they will." "Goddamn it." "The fuck is going on out there?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "I'm talking about the dancing and the gyrating" "And the people nearly having sex on the pool table?" "I don't know what to tell you." "People came back from the Rodeo in a good mood." "Damn it, Mary-Ann, this is my bar, these are my people." "This is my town!" "Don't do that." "I've seen you do that before." "Mary-Ann." "Stop it." "Abracadabra, Sam." "What I just did to you, I can do anytime, anywhere." "So unless you want your customers to know your little secret, you better think twice before you threaten me ever again." "Do we understand each other?" "I don't normally cuss, but you have completely fucked me." "I know and I'm sorry, but I swear it was like it wasn't even me doing it." "It must be those new vampire impulse control issues." "Fuck your impulse control issues." "Hell making tea." "Wiches." "Oh, thanks, Eden." "Thank you." "You already had dinner." "Don't touch those sandwiches." "You're pretty." "Why, that's awful nice of you." "And you're very pretty yourself." "No." "I'm not." "Got a problem with hair." "Fault" " Front door." "How could you do this?" "Daddy." "Do you have any idea what you put your mother through?" "Why, Jessica?" "You tell me why?" "Mr. Hamby!" "Or I will make you tell me!" "Go ahead, Daddy." "Get your belt." "But this time, I'll be ready for you." "How much blood do you think he's lost?" "Oh, I still think he has something to offer." "I hate to let it all go to waste like this." "Seems a shame we have to wait for Eric." "Yeah, maybe one day you'll be sheriff and you can make the rules." "I doubt that." "Me too." "Sorry to keep you waiting for so long." "How's the leg?" "Shitty." "Thanks for asking." "After all your proclamations about what a model prisoner you were going to be, you had to try to escape." "You were going to kill me anyway, right?" "Well, now you'll never know." "So, what's it gonna be, Lafayette?" "Would you like the leg to kill you, or would you prefer us to do it?" "I'm gonna go with Plan C." "There's a Plan C?" "Make me a vampire." "I beg your pardon?" "And you can put me to work in the bar." "I'm a good dancer." "You seen it on my site." "Shit, I get up there and move Earth and Heaven, go-go style." "You are aware there's a gaping hole in your leg?" "You're damaged goods." "Not if you turn me." "I'll be good as ever." "Look, I" " I'm already a person of poor moral character, so I'll hit the ground running." "And I damn near glamour people already." "Give me what y'all got, and it's on me, cracker." "Not only will I be a badass vampire, but I'll be your badass vampire." "Interesting." "Yeah?" "I'll take it under advisement." "Pam?" "Chow?" "Chowtime." "How could you let some bloodsucker bite you like that?" "Mr. Hamby!" "I didn't let anybody do anything to me." "But, oh, am I glad he did." "'cause now I get to homeschool you in what it's like to be scared." "Jessica!" "Stop!" "Jesus Christ, Sookie." "Would you shut the fuck up?" "You okay?" "Baby, please." "This isn't you." "You don't know the first thing about me." "You're too dumb to know anything." "Jessica!" "Oh, what?" "She is dumb." "She's dumber than a sack full of hammers, and he's as mean as a snake." "And that's the way it's always gonna be around here." "So I am ending it." "Right here, right now." "And I am doing it with your belt." "Daddy?" "It's okay, baby." "Don't worry." "This will only hurt for a minute." "Bill!" "Jessica, let him go." "But-- as your maker I command you." "God help us." "Thank God you're here." "Shut up." "Now, someone who lives here must invite me in." "No." "No, don't, he's one of them." "He'll kill us all." "He won't." "He's not like that." "You." "Little girl." "Come here." " Eden." " Come back here!" "Eden, don't." "Good girl." "Now, you listen to me." "I'm here to protect you." "You and your mother and your father." "I am your friend." "So you just invite me in and I can make everything stop." "You can?" "Yes." "Won't you please come in, sir?" "I'm sorry." "Get the hell outta here." "Now, so I can clean up your mess." "Please don't kill them." "This is your fault." "Now get the hell outta here."