" It's in pretty deep." " I think that was my finger." "I need your help, Hawkeye." "It's hit more than a lung." " What do you think?" " I don't know." " Hey, Radar." " Yes." "Has that A negative come in from Seoul?" " We keep ordering it, but it never arrives." " How'd the kid take the induction, Ugly?" "Good." "He's ready." "Pickups and irrigation, please." "Give me some gel foam." "Not now, honey." "Go back to sleep." "Scissors." " Sponge." " More sponges." " Let's have the suction up here." "Thank you." " Rib spreader." " Clamp." " Let's give him a sexy scar, huh?" "Fantastic." " Lot of blood." " Sponge." " Scissors." "Watch it." " Give me something to stuff it in with." " Pickups for me." " How's he tolerating this?" " Good." "He's young." " Things get slippery." " You're a backhanded guy." " Let me have the forceps and a sponge stick." "Hot Lips, you may be a pain in the ass, but you're a damn good nurse." " Thanks, Trapper." " Put enough blood in him, John." "There's a clot on the cava above the atrium." "Must be the point of entry." "Clamp." "I feel a fragment right underneath the clot." " You control the cava." " OK." " We gotta stop that spurting." " Clamp." " Do what?" " Stop the spurting." "That's a very good technical term." "Christ." "It's not in the cava." "It's in the pulmonary artery on the left side." " OK." "Let me close him up and sit on it for..." " We can't sit on it." "What if we're jammed up?" "We don't have the blood!" "If you cut again, you'll lose him." "Look, Hawkeye, the artery can erode." "Now's the time to take our shot." " A negative." " You said you didn't have any blood." "I found a donor." "Up close, all crumpled up like that, they don't look like much, you know." "Was he loaded or empty when he crashed?" "He was loaded, but it didn't matter much." "You see, the two guys he was carrying were dead already." "What about the pilot?" "Pilot's fine." "Took off a kneecap and he lost the function in his right hand, but he's great." "I didn't hear." "What colour was her hair?" "Black, shiny." "Shiny, black hair." "Black?" "You like black?" "I..." "I'm kind of partial to blonde myself." "I knew it." "I knew you had an attraction for Hot Lips Houlihan." " Hear!" "Hear!" " Go to hell, Captain Pierce." "You know I damn near puke every time I look at her. 'Sides, I'll bet she's not a real blonde." "How dare you say that about an officer of the United States Army, sir?" "I'll not only say it, but I'll back it with 20 bucks." "How's that?" "You have yourself a bet, sir." "You're my witness." "OK, but who's gonna be the poor schmuck who finds out?" "Well, I could, if no one else wants..." "I..." "No, no." "We..." "We gotta all see it together somehow." "It's five minutes after the time the nurses shower." "Where are they?" "They will be here." "Finest kind, Ho-Jon." " What's happening?" " Radar..." " See the papers?" " What?" "You don't know about the papers the colonel left?" " Why didn't you tell me about the papers?" " I tried to." "Here you go, here you go." "They're comin'." " Evelyn, could you give me a hand?" " Sure." "Hey, Frankie, could you take a look at my corns, please?" "Knocko, the pictures of my kids have come." " Hot Lips, would you like to see them?" " I'm not interested." "Hey, Scorch." "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Author!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Author!" "Author!" "20 bucks, huh?" "You win the bet." "Oh!" "That's it!" " Major, what went on?" " Where's Blake?" " You can't see Colonel Blake." " You shut up, you twerp!" "This isn't a hospital!" "It's an insane asylum!" "And it's your fault because you don't do anything to discourage them!" " What do you want me to do?" " Put them under arrest!" "See what a court-martial thinks of their drunken hooliganism!" "First they called me Hot Lips, and you let them get away with it!" "And then you let them get away with everything!" "And if you don't turn them over to the MP this minute," "I..." "I'm gonna resign my commission!" "God dammit, Hot Lips, resign your goddamn commission." "My commission!" "My commission!" "My commission!" "A little more wine, my dear?" "Yes, please." "Is that right?" "Come on, baby." "Come on." "You all right?" "Keep it straight, eh?" " First the present, then dinner, then a movie." " You mean all three of you?" " Where I go, Warren goes." " You don't want me to go with you?" "Well, Boone..." "He's Syngman Rhee's son, and he goes right in." "Hey, soldier!" " Me?" " Yeah, you." "Where you from?" " A MASH outfit at the front line." " No, I mean your hometown." "It's on the East Coast." "Have you been wounded yet?" "Yeah, a little... a slight..." " Would you like to say hello to your mother?" " Well, my mother's dead actually." "Oh." "Well, I'm sorry." " I'd like to say hello to my father, if I could." " Yeah, yeah, fine." "Hi, Dad." "Excuse me." "I am making an examination of this young man to find out if he would be a soldier in our army." "Yeah, I know." "Hi, Ho-Jon." "How's she goin', boy?" "His heartbeat is much too fast and his blood pressure is dangerously high." "Oh, yeah?" "I guess you think he's unfit for the army, eh?" "Yes, at first." "But when I saw on his paper he worked in an American hospital where there are many drugs and he could have taken some by mistake." " What would he do a thing like that for?" " Who knows?" "To find the truth I will keep him here for a couple of days." "By tomorrow his fast heart and high blood pressure may be gone." " Look..." " So I suggest you say goodbye to him now." " Doctor, I've..." " It was a nice try." "Come on, Ho-Jon." "Oh, man!" "This is brought to you through Radio Tokyo by courtesy of the Veterans of Foreign Wars, Post Number 63 of Sedalia, Missouri." "A federal court rules that El Du Pont de Nemours and Company," "Remington Arms Company and the Imperial Chemical Industries Limited of Great Britain have conspired to divide munition..." "Idiot!" "He knocked me down the hill!" "He broke my umbrella!" "I wish they wouldn't land these things when we're playing golf." " That's him on the right." "Wait!" "Wait!" " Captain McIntyre." "The lieutenant's come from Seoul to see you." " You're Captain McIntyre?" " Yes, I'm Captain..." "Lieutenant, you look terrible." "Captain, look at his eyes." "Let me see your tongue." "Oh, no, no." "Take your shirt off and tell me where it hurts." "I haven't seen a case like this since I was in school." "My goodness." "Listen, Vollmer, tell them to prepare the major surgery." "This is one case in five." "I think I can save you." "You're to proceed to Kokura, Japan, immediately." "Kokura, Japan!" "What's this about?" "There's a congressman." "Grenade went off in practice." "There's a piece in his heart." " What?" " GI's dad's a congressman." "Grenade went off in practice." "Piece in his heart." " That the X-rays?" " Yeah." "Apparently some big heart surgeon in Boston told the congressman the only man to take care of his son is Captain John McIntyre." "Of course, I suppose there could be two Captain John McIntyre's." "No, no, I'm the only John McIntyre." "Look, Hammond says I can take someone to assist me." "Wanna come?" "Yeah." "Lieutenant, I think I can save you." "Take one of these every half-hour." "Now, get into your helicopter and button up your shirt!" "You're in the military army!" " It isn't even close to his heart." " I know, it's nothing." "But how many times do you get to go to Japan with your golf clubs?" "Come on, Shirley." "Goddamn army." "Goddamn army!" "Goddamn army jeep!" "Excuse me, could you tell me where the congressman's son is?" " Ward six." " Darling, would you register us?" "Just a moment!" "You can't go in there." "Who are you?" " Who am I?" "The pro from..." " I don't believe you." "You can't go in till I call Captain Peterson." "Wait a second." "If this soldier wants to enforce her orders, I'll take her on single-handedly." " Get away!" " You open this." " He's won two Purple Hearts." " You can't come in!" " I'll ravage your body." " I'll call the police." "You can't come in!" " You have not seen such a beast!" " I'm gonna call Captain Peterson." "Stay away!" " Captain Peterson, please." " Captain Peterson!" " What are you two hoodlums doing here?" " Ma'am, we are surgeons here to operate." "You can't go near a patient until Colonel Merrill says it's OK." "And he's still at lunch." "Mother, I wanna go to work in one hour." "We are the pros from Dover and we figure to crack this kid's chest and go play golf before it gets dark." "So find the gas passer, have him premedicate the patient, then bring me the latest pictures on him." "The ones we saw were old." "Then tell the kitchen to rustle us up lunch." "Ham would be fine." "Steak would be better." "Then get one nurse who knows how to work in close without getting her tits in my way." "Oh, you fool." "How do you want your steak cooked?" "Towel." "Say the magic words, you make a hundred dollars." "All right!" "I demand an explanation." "Somebody get that dirty old man out." "Dirty old ma..." "I'm Colonel Merrill." "I don't care if you're Jack Armstrong, the All-American Boy." "If this chest gets infected, I will tell the congressman who did it." " Scissors, please." " Will you let me have a skin suture?" "Old pickups." " Who was that?" " That's Colonel Merrill." " This is his little store here." " Oh, yeah?" "Who are you?" "I'm Dr Jekyll actually." "This is my friend Mr Hyde." "Why don't you save your rapier like wit for the clam diggers back home, Hawkeye?" "Did I ever tell you about my friend, Me Lay Marston?" "Oh, yeah." "Your friend who would go around saying "Me lay, you lay" to the girls." "He'd score once out of 50 times." "Yeah, you told me about him." "He's passing gas for the congressman's son here." "Oh, really?" "When he's not passing gas, does he play golf?" "I don't know." " D'you play golf?" " No." "I have no time for golf." "I'm moonlighting down at Dr Yamachi's New Era Hospital and Whorehouse." "This old guy I met when I came over." "He has a crude hospital for kids and finances it with a whorehouse all in the same building." "It's the NEHWH." "Come on down and we'll get something going for you." " I've got an in in Kokura!" " Here, soldier, take these." "Take our golf carts, but don't drop anything cos we're gonna play golf later." "Goodbye, pimp." " Ladies." " Girls." "Gentlemen." "Be careful with that..." "Military police." "All right, fellas, the game's over." "Finally caught up with us, huh?" "Where did we fail?" "I don't know." "I think it was the woman." "Something tells me I've seen her before." "She was the one in Tangiers." "You can wait in the colonel's office." "He'll be back in a few minutes." "We don't blame you." "You're only doing your job." "United Press International today voted the Korean War" " the top news story of1951." " We're in the middle of putting." "My God." "All right." "You men are under arrest." " I'll have you court-martialled!" " Come off it, Colonel." "You don't have us." "We have you." "Your boys blew this case and we bailed you out." "Now we are gonna stay here for one more day and check out the congressman's kid, and... get in some golf for ourselves." "If that's OK with you, then we got a deal." "And if it isn't, we can always call Washington and you tell them your story and we'll tell them ours." "It's as simple as that." "In the meantime we'll be at the pro shop where we are gonna shower and shave." "If you wanna get in touch with us, that is where we will be." "Is that a client?" "Excuse me." "Oh, you try one." " Good?" " Oh, it's terrible." "Listen, I hate to do this to you fellas, but do you think you could look at a kid for me?" " Now?" " A kid?" "We had a little carelessness here, and the other day one of our girls presented us with an 8lb American-Japanese boy." "Whenever we feed him, it either comes right back up or he coughs and he turns blue." "We don't have to see him." "Just tell that half-assed hospital to get some Lipiodol and we'll take some X-rays." "We can't get near that place." "With a civilian, the colonel has a big thing about it, especially a "native"." "Then don't tell him any more than necessary." "Tell him the pros have an emergency." "Tell him to get the OR ready and Trapper and I'll fix his tracheo-oesophageal fistula." "OK, Me Lay, put him down in here." "Get him to sleep as quick as you can, will you?" " Where did this baby come from?" " Watch him." " Is this what you got us up for?" " Yeah." "We stumbled on him." "We don't want him, but we can't back away from him." "This time I will not be intimidated." "I command that this illegal use of army facilities cease immediately!" "On this point I stand as firm as the Rock of Gibraltar." "And furthermore I..." "You can't do this..." " This one is for West Point." " What the Sam Hill's going on here?" "That's what they all say." "What a filthy, disgusting, despicable..." "There's no competition to the Painless Pole, but it's pretty healthy." " We caught you with your pants down!" " Men are fighting on the front line!" "Attention!" "Attention!" "Colonel Blake has secured for us "The Halls of Montezuma", so big only the biggest of the screen can bring it to you all." "Technicolor. "Tell it to the Marines", those lovable lugs with wonderful mugs, who we now love more than ever." "Tell them they're still the greatest guys in the world." "Follow Lieutenant, Punchy, Limey, Baby-Face, Doc, the Poet, Pretty Boyand Slattery through some of the most interesting war films yet created." "Due to a possible camp infection, Arlene Chu's Hollywood Grill is now off limits." "That is all." " Could I have some longer needles?" " Get this sponge outta the way." "Cut down on the back." "Hey, Dago." " Hi." "Did you have a nice time in Japan?" " Yeah, I screwed a kabuki dancer." " Let me have the long-fingers." " It's OK?" "Yeah, but I can't stop this bleeding." " How's the intake, Painless?" " Normal." " I'm here if you need me, Henry." " Oh, I can't talk to you now, Padre." "No, I mean he's going to be all right, isn't he?" " Oh, he's going to be fine." " Oh, good." "Does anybody else need help?" "Oh, ask around." "What's he got the flaps down for?" " Duke!" "Come on, Duke." "Open up." " What?" "No, I don't want any." "Hey, Duke." "Come on." "Open up, man." "Who is it?" " What the hell you doing back here?" " We've been working for hours." "Open up." "Wait a minute." "I'll be right with you." " Hi, Hot Lips." " You miss us?" "Shame, shame on you." "Well..." " Radar." " Yes, sir." "Hold this, please." " Colonel Blake." " Henry?" "Yeah." "Charlie here." "Yeah." "I've got news for you." "You were so concerned about the battle for Old Baldy." " Well, it's all over." " Oh, that's great news, General." "Who won?" "Oh, by the way, I have a report here, Henry, from your chief nurse Major O'Houlihan." "She makes some accusations, Henry, I find pretty hard to believe." "Don't believe 'em then." "Thank you, goodbye." "Yeah..." "What?" " Thank you, Radar." " You're welcome, sir." "Attention." "Attention." "Friday night's movie will be "The Glory Brigade"." "Rock 'em, sock 'em, kisses you never got." "It's Uncle Sam's combat engineers charging side by side with Greeks..." "Anzacs, showing the world a new way to fight, as they use bulldozers like bazookas, bayonets like bazookas... bullets." "Starring Victor Mature." "That is all." "I'll be with Colonel Blake." "Check this place out." "See what the nurses are like, huh?" "Right, sir." " 4077th Mobile Army Surgi..." " Yeah, yeah." " Sir, d'you know..." " Yes, I know where he is." "Oh." "All right." "All right." " Thank you." " Look, Charlie, you can't blame Henry because Hot Lips Houlihan can't stand her name!" "You know, she's just a lady though." "What the hell?" "Come on, for crying out loud." "She's regular army." "She's a fanatic about ritual." "She won't even let us play football." " Football?" " General, she's all lined up, Charlie." "Yeah." "I didn't know you had a football team." "It's pretty much in the planning stage." "No, no, we have a very fine football team." "Yeah?" "Well, we had a team back with the 325th Evac last year." " And what a team that was." " Yeah." "I coached the boys myself." " He's the finest coach in the Far East." " Yeah." "We're trying to work out a schedule of the outfits we're gonna play this year." "Of course, we, you know, throw a little money into a pot and make bets." "How much... how much money do you put into your pot?" " Five thousand, six thousand." " Five thousand dollars!" "Look, I don't think we're in the sort of league you're in." "Well, I'm sure we can find a date when we can play your team." " It can be arranged." " Yeah." "I think I'll talk this over with Henry." "Thanks, boys." "Thanks for the drink." " Thank you." " What the hell you...?" "Sir, ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I've been proud to wear this uniform." " What the hell is this?" " A helicopter." "That man has five times the manpower to draw on than we do." "Sure, so we get ourselves a ringer, right?" "We get Henry to apply, make a specific application for a neurosurgeon." "He asks for Dr Oliver Harmon Jones." " Dr Oliver Harmon Jones?" " Oh, he's..." "Who is Oliver Harmon Jones?" "He is better known as Spearchucker Jones." " He's a good ballplayer." " Yes!" "That Negro boy, played with the 49ers." " Sure." " Sure, I remember." "He's good." "Henry, if we had closer relations, we wouldn't have this misunderstanding, right?" "Now, that's where a football game would help between your outfit and mine." "A football game?" "We put up a few bets, five thousand maybe, and have a little fun." "Special Services in Tokyo says it's one of our best gimmicks to keep the American way of life going in Asia." " Betting?" " No!" "Football." "But what about Major O'Houlihan?" "You mean Hot Lips?" "Screw her!" " It's a helicopter, General." " I know it's a helicopter!" "I just wondered about the social problem, you know." "I mean, he's the only Negro officer in the whole camp, you know." "We got a problem, we'll stick him in with us, baby boy." " You're serious, ain't you?" " Sure, I'm serious." "It's enough for me to have to put up with you two Yankees, but I'm, you know, that's..." "Because of his wife, or was it a religious problem?" " It was a conditioning problem." " Why you called Spearchucker?" "I used to throw the javelin." "Right, we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practise." "But first let's welcome Spearchucker." "Is it all right to call you that?" "Call me whatever you want." "I want you to know we're all the same here on the playing field, officers and men alike." "Now, we're going to begin with the three basic principles:" "organization, discipline and teamwork." "Now..." " Pardon me." "Mind if we limber up first?" " That's a good idea." "You organize that." "Move that line, hey!" "Hold that line, hey!" "All right, Seidman, keep 'em pushin' that whatever you call it." "That's good." "All right, Hot Lips, keep their arms and limbs moving." "Radar, you're a coach." "You're not a corporal, you're a coach, so keep them going through there." "Good, Hot Lips." "All right, Seidman, give 'em five." "All right, men, take five." "Spearchucker." "We look pretty lousy, don't we?" "For college players that have been out of training for seven years, yeah, you do." "I got an idea how we can make some money." "We leave him out of the first half." "We bet half our money." "They roll up some points, OK?" "Second half we stick him in." "We get odds from them." "We bet the other half." "We clean up." " Good thinking, Captain." " Sounds good to me." "Oh, and I had another idea." "I think we should have some plays." "Usually in football you have organized plays." " Well, if you don't mind, I took the liberty." " Oh, you have." " I drew up seven or eight plays." " Oh, these are good." " I think that's all this bunch can handle." " Oh, very good." "Yes." "Oh, very, very good." "What are these little arrows?" "Right into his hands!" " Well, it's only six points." " Six points!" " It's only one point." " One point!" "Who's that number one?" "We can't stop him." "They call him Super Bug." "He had one year with the Rams." " We can't do anything with him in there." " You gotta come in." "We can't wait." "No, we stick to our strategy, but you gotta get him out of the ball game." "Hey, Davidson!" "Here!" "Let's ease up just a little bit." "We don't want the score too lopsided." "He caught it!" " Who's he giving it to?" " Isn't that Corporal Judson?" "Judson's a lineman!" "Judson can't run!" "For crying out loud, Judson, what're you doin'?" " Duke, you threw me that ball!" " You had the field open!" "Why'd you fall?" "I'm no goddamn runner, I'm a lineman." "We're gonna really clean up today." " Ah, it's only two points." " Two points." " What d'you think you are, a cannon?" " What kind of a snap was that?" "We got a lot of money on this game." "This is embarrassing!" "Let's go!" "Yeah!" " What happens now?" " We get a free kick." "A free kick!" "Girls!" "Hit that ball!" "Kick that ball!" " Another six points." " Another six points." "Look." "Look." "He's hurt." "He's leaving the game!" "He's hurt!" "He's hurt!" "He's leaving the game!" "He's hurt!" "He's hurt!" "He's hurt!" "He's leaving the game!" "He's hurt!" "What the hell's the matter with you?" "Smith!" " Those damn bastards pulled something." " Coach, did I break my 400?" "400!" "This is not a track meet." "This is a football game." "What d'you think I pay you for?" "Get him up." "Walk him around." "Do something." " I think I won the 440." " 440!" "This is a football game, god dammit!" "All right, you guys, get in there and kill 'em!" "All right, bub, your fuckin' head is comin' right off." " I'm ready, Coach." " Ready for what?" " I'm in the broad jump, Coach." " Get him back on the bench." "Broad jump!" " Still 16 to nothing." " 16 to nothing." "Well, that's not bad." "16 to nothing in the first half." "I have to give them the old Knute Rockne." " About time for the gun." " Right." "Men, ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I've been proud to wear this uniform." " Got a towel?" " Henry, have you pressed the bets?" " Today we are wearing..." " Have you pressed the bets?" "Oh, the bets!" "Finish the half-time speech." "Hit 'em with a mortar!" "Kick 'em off the hill!" "Mash 'em!" "Smash 'em!" "Kill!" "Kill!" "Kill!" "Hot Lips!" "There's a time and a place for everything, dammit!" "Oh!" "Right." "Bo-bo." "Bo!" "Bo!" "Come on, Smitty." "Come on, boy." " What's the matter with him?" " You ought a know." "You pulled something." " I guess you don't wanna double the bet." " The hell I don't." "We beat you without him, and we'll go on beating you." " Are you prepared to back that up with odds?" " Damn right." "Three to one." "Double the bet." "Player 24, who is he?" "Stop him!" "Stop him!" "Stop him!" "Who is that guy?" "He wasn't in the game in the first half." "Stop him!" " That's Spearchucker Jones." " Who?" "He played with San Francisco before he got drafted." "He's gonna be tough to stop, too." "Henry, you brought in a ringer, did you?" " Radar, what's the general trying to say?" " Didn't bring him in in the first half!" "He's just been informed as to the identity of our Spearchucker." " His ringer's spotted our ringer." " How do you like them apples, Charlie?" " You can't trust anybody." " Now watch him make the extra point." "isn't that illegal?" "What kind of team is it?" "They're falling all around like dead flies!" "Look!" "A red flag!" "We've got a red flag!" "Hot Lips!" "It's a penalty, you idiot." "Judson, get off of him." "You'll be thrown out of the game." "Judson, kill him!" "What's wrong with you?" "We're here to play football, not fight!" "Bastard 88 called me a coon." "Called you a what?" "Coon." "OK, that's an old pro trick to get you thrown out of the ball game." " Why don't you do the same thing to him?" " What, call him a coon?" "No, the boys in camp used to talk about his sister." "Her name was Gladys." "Use it!" " Yeah." " All right, all right." "What the hell are you doing, for God's sake?" "What's the matter here?" "They're takin' him out." "69 is divine!" "69 is divine!" "There you go, Charlie." "Another side of beef for your butcher shop." "Let's get the ball and really go" "Hey, hey!" "Ho, ho!" " Who's the brunette?" "She new?" " Yeah, I had her shipped in." "Yeah." "Not bad." "Kill 'em!" "Kill 'em, god dammit!" "My God!" "They've shot him!" "Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop, it's the end of the quarter." "What did I make you a major for?" "For a team like that?" "I did the best I could." "I didn't know they'd get a ringer." " I ought to put you in and let 'em kill you." " What about my knee?" "You better get on your goddamn knee and start prayin'." "Trick knee, my ass." "My God!" " How's that?" " Did you see that?" "Get the hell back there." "Get back there." "Well, looks like we may make it." "Seconds to go." "OK, fellows, we don't have very much time left." "I got a special play I wanna run, a semi-eligible play." "Line up with everybody to the right ofthe centre except Hawkeye, who drops back one yard before the snap of the ball." "That makes you the semi-eligible." "Just take the ball from Trapper between your legs and hide it under your belly and walk toward their goal." "Right?" "Now, Trapper..." "All right." "Come on." " This is only one time. $5,000." " Worth a try." " It'd be a miracle." " Whaddya say, let's do it now!" "Ready?" "Set!" " What are you doing?" "Get back!" " I got the ball!" "Run with it!" " Two dollars" " Two dollars." "Four dollars." "Out." "I fold." "Raise you two." "Raise it another two?" " I have an Oklahoma." " Oh, God!" " What is that?" " Two eights, a ten of spades, a deuce, a five." " You win!" " What do you have?" "Tokyo." "The United States Armed Forces Radio is on the air." "Duke?" "You busy?" " What is it?" " Henry's got our orders." "We can go home." " Right now?" " Any time." "Whenever we want." "D'you mind if we get out of this guy's brain first?" "Can't you sew this thing up?" "You got that vessel under control." " I just..." " Haven't you?" " I wanna make sure the oozing is checked." " Damn perfectionist." "Yeah, well, I'm..." "I'll see you." "Five goddamn months and they don't even give a guy time off for good behavior." "Hey, see you around." "It's possible." "Take care of the squirrels." "So long, Pup-Pup." "Will you go, for Christ's sakes?" "Go before they change their minds." "Get outta here!" "Oh, God, listen favorably to our prayers and with your right hand bless this jeep." "Send your holy angels so that all who ride in it may be delivered from every danger." "And as you granted faith and grace by your deacon Philip to the man from Ethiopia, who was sitting in his chariot reading holy scripture, show the way of salvation to your servants, so that, helped by your grace and always intent on doing good works," "they may, after all the trials of their pilgrimage and life on earth, attain to everlasting joys through Christ our Lord." "Amen." " Captain Pierce, your driver'll be here soon." " He's here." "Let's go, driver." "Attention." "Tonight's movie has been "MASH"." "Follow the zanyantics of our combat surgeons as they cut and stitch their way along the frontlines." "Operating as bombs..." "Operating as bombs and bullets burst around them, snatching laughs and love between amputations and penicillin." "Did Hawkeye steal that jeep?" " No, sir." "That's the one he came in." " Very good." "Come along, my dear." "Follow Hawkeye, Trapper, Duke, Dago Red," "Painless, Radar, HotLips, Dish and Staff Sergeant Vollmer as they put our boys back together again." "Starring Donald Sutherland, Elliot Gould, Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall," "Jo Ann Pflug, Rene Auberjonois, RogerBowen, Gary Burghoff, David Arkin," "John Schuck, Fred Williamson, Indus Arthur, Tim Brown, Corey Fischer, Bud Cort," "Carl Gottlieb, Dawne Damon, Tamara Horrocks, Ken Prymus, Danny Goldman," "Kim Atwood, Michael Murphy, G Wood, Rick Neilan and Bobby Troup." " Goddamn army." " That is all." "Original subtitle by: sandromagni" "Resync, spelling, corrections and additions:" "Masken, july 10th 2002." "Synced to fit:" "M.A.S.H.1970.DVDivX-CLiX"