" From me!" "From me!" " Come here." "Come here." " Yo!" "Stop!" " Ding ding ding, round two." " Get off, vinny!" "Get off!" " We still care about this girl, and the fact that she..." " No." " You don't?" " Nah." " No?" " No." " Vinny locked the door." " So who are you stuck with?" " I'm stuck with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." " Or me." " [Laughs]" "I'm all right." " Let me [Bleep] Talk." "You just [Bleep] Talked." "Now it's my [Bleep] Turn to talk, okay?" " Don't talk to me like that." " [Kiss]" "Sleep well." "[Get crazy by lmfao]" " Dj pauly delvecchio!" " I'm going to the Jersey shore, bitch!" " All right, we got a situation." " I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet." " [Laughing]" " After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off." " Go vinny!" "Go vinny!" " Um, hello!" " ♪ If you wanna have fun and do something crazy ♪ ♪ [somber music]" "♪ ♪" " now I'm talking to you and you don't want to talk, so, like, I didn't do anything wrong." "Why am I going out of my way to talk to you?" "Why are you running?" "I shouldn't be chasing you." "I'm mentally [Bleep]Ed up right now." " Okay, welcome to my world." "The way you feel right now," "I felt for three weeks before Miami." " You should have been a man and [Bleep] Owned up to your [Bleep], instead of leading me on like you did." "I feel like I owe, like, snooki an apology, 'cause I cut her out of my life." "I believed you and everything you were saying, 'cause I was blinded by being so in love with you." " So then go." "Go fix your friendship with snooki, go fix your friendship with [Bleep] Jenni, and we're done with." " I feel stupid for hating jenni and Nicole so much for things that happened way back when." "Like, I need to move on." "It's not about Ron." "It's about myself, and me and the girls." "[Rock music]" " Wow." "[Laughing]" " I want to eat this potato." " By itself?" "Since I got to the shore," "I can't remember the last time I seen Nicole sober." "It's been a while." "Oh, my God." " That's not bad." "That's not bad." "That's not bad." " "That's not bad." "That's not bad."" " Oh, say you were [Bleep] Stuck in the cornfields and you gotta eat it." " It's corn." " That's not bad." " That's not... [laughing]" " Hey, blast any gas?" " Not supposed to eat a potato like that." " It was good, though." " Was it?" "What?" "What?" "Play with you?" " Mm-hmm." " Snooki." "We have this thing with snooki that when she drinks, you don't know what's gonna come out of her mouth." " Boing boing." "Tonight, I definitely want to touch [Bleep], and why not vinny's, because it's, like, nice?" " What its name." " Seabiscuit." " Seabiscuit?" "Snooki." "She's begging for seabiscuit, like, literally, literally begging." "A lot of guys might think I'm crazy for not wanting to." "Oh, dear." " Right in here!" "Please." "I want to be with you." " Come on, let's go find the girls." " No." " I don't want to take advantage of snooki when she's incoherent." " Whatever." "I'm over it." "Yeah, good-bye." "[Rock music]" "♪ ♪" " yo, Mike, dance with me!" "Mike, come dance with me!" "I know that deena wants to make out with Mike, but she doesn't want to be too forward about it, so you know me." "I break the ice." "Threesome!" "Can we have a threesome?" " Yeah." " I'm so [Bleep] Horny." " Sounds like a good time." "What bed do we do it in?" " I like Mike." "I think he has a sick body, he has a cute face, but, basically, his personality and how he carries himself." " You always want to stay protected." "You know what I'm saying?" "Every guy has a dream of having a threesome with two women, obviously." "Maybe not deena and snooks, but, um, I was going along with it only because it was a threesome." "You know what I'm saying?" "All right, let's do it." "Oh, my." "You see what's going on here?" "All of a sudden, snooks sneaks out of the bed, and I'm left with deena." "That's like having chicken put on the table with salt and pepper, and then somebody takes away the chicken, and then they left you with salt and pepper." "Did you shower?" " You know, "vinny, can I come in?" "Vinny, you want to cuddle?"" "Never really have I had this happen to me." "I'm a little upset about this." "But at the same time, like, you never really say to stop it." " [Giggling]" " I'm ready to go, but that's when I start kind of smelling the alcohol." "Like, right away, it's like, yeew, you know?" " Vinny, you can trust me." "Oh, God." "Seriously?" "Really?" "He always does that to me, but he [Bleep]Ed Angelina." " That's true." "He cares about you, that's why." " Well, stop caring and [Bleep] Me, man." "I'm not tired." "I like this shirt." "It's cool and everything." " It is actually." "It is cool." "I was looking for that threesome." "It turned into just the..." "You know, the d-some." " I don't want to go work some more." " Okay." " I like, like, to snuggle." " [Moans]" " I think now I'm tired." "Do you want a massage?" " Just relax and enjoy yourself." " How many girls have you even slept with?" " Oh, my God." "We are talking." "I mean, sometimes the only way to shut up a girl is to s..." "You know." "I kissed her, and I had no..." "I was not horny." "I was just so not into it." "I think it's a miracle that she's getting up out of my bed right now, walking to the bathroom." "I invented the kitchen ditching'." "Because to get out of the situation I was in," "I had to ditch and go straight to the kitchen." "I knew exactly how to get out of it." "Peace out." " My ass is burning." "I need relief asap, because it does not feel good." " Are you itching it on something?" " I'm in the fridge." "Where's the beach?" " Nicole!" " Ew, get the [Bleep] Off my arm before I [Bleep]..." " You're talking to a police officer like that." "[Handcuffs click]" " I'm a [Bleep] Good person." "[The whigs' hundred/million]" "♪ Shock me into town ♪" "♪ everybody wants to take me down ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ white light in my brain ♪" "♪ if they want to... ♪" " I'm going to the gym." "Want to come, snook?" " Yeah." "I need to drop my laundry off, too." " Let's do it." "We can go tanning on the way home." " I'm doing g.T.L. Right now." " So proud. [Laughs]" " Gym, tan, laundry." "Gym, tan, laundry." " Whoa!" "God!" "[Screams]" " Do you have spray paint?" "'Cause she's trying to come out darker than me." " You like to [Bleep]?" "Oh, yeah." " Come on, girl, look at that." " Look at that." " It's like jungle fever." " I think pauly's really black, like, seriously, because when he tans, he's black." " It sucks being the, um..." "Not the tannest in the house." " I'm leaving." " You're fine with Sam." "I'm not." " What's it gonna be like, though?" " Me, if she, like, apologizes, and she's, like, okay, I was wrong, then I'd be okay with it." "Jenni was like, if Sam talks to me," "I'm not gonna give her the time of day." "Boo?" "My ass is burning." "Oh, my God, I'm so itchy." "Ow!" "I wanted to get, like, really, really dark, so I decided to use lotion." "I put a glob on my ass." "So itchy, it's on fire, and I needed relieve asap, because it does not feel good." "Oh, my God, someone needs to kiss my ass asap." "Booey, kiss my ass." "Oh, we got a fridge." "This feels good." " Are you itching it on something?" " I'm in the fridge." " [Laughs]" " [Laughs] Boo-boo." "My butt feels better." "I have to poop." " Waking up today, I'm not okay." "I think I need to do something to get over Miami, because it's been ruining me." "I think, like, automatically, if Ron's going out somewhere, he's doing something to hurt me, like lying and cheating again." " Sleeping?" " I make myself believe it's happening, and I make myself go crazy." " What's going on?" " You tell me what's going on." "Please tell me the truth." " About what?" " Look me in the face and all the skeletons lay out right now, because I know." " What do you know?" " Everything." " What is [Bleep] Everything?" "What do you know?" " Tell me right now." "Tell me." " [Bleep] Tell me what you know!" "I'm not [Bleep] Doing this with you!" " Tell me." " [Bleep] Talk!" "You're 23 years old." "Be a [Bleep] Woman." "Holy [Bleep]." " He didn't do anything lately." " What the [Bleep]." " That's what I'm saying." " What the [Bleep] Did I do, Mike?" "Have I done anything?" "What the [Bleep] Have I done?" " Living with Ron and Sam in the same room, it's just not a good situation." "Honest, dude, I can't even talk about this." "It's not even cool anymore." "It's horrible, these two." "Just break the [Bleep] Up and call it a day." " Get the [Bleep] Up and let's go outside." "I don't understand." "Enlighten me, please." "Apparently, I'm getting accused for [Bleep] That I didn't do, so I need a mind condom, because I'm being mind-[Bleep]Ed." "What have I done?" "Please tell me what I've done." "I would love to know what the [Bleep] You think you know about what I've done since I've been home from Miami." "There's nothing I've done to you!" "[Bleep] Nothing!" "[Bleep] Nothing I've done to you." " I'm gonna be real." "It's her." "I'm gonna be real, it's her." "Even if it was his fault and he [Bleep]Ed up in Miami, she needs to be a woman and be like, "[Bleep] You." "I'm gonna be by myself,"" "and then ther..." " Not just..." " Yeah, and, therefore, if that had happened, you'll see him do his thing, have fun, and then you'll see her try to grow as a person and try to have some fun, which she's never had." " She's not the type to let loose, and that's it." " I finished, okay?" "I didn't [Bleep]In' do a god[Bleep] Thing!" " Listen, I have a feeling that you're doing something to me again." " What have I done?" " You tell me." "I don't know if he's a changed person." "I don't know if I trust him." "I don't know if I believe him." "I don't know what to do right now." " Okay, so what did I do?" "Tell me!" " Tell me!" "I don't know!" " Please, what the [Bleep] Have I done?" " Yeah, that's him?" " What you want?" "[Bleep] You and [Bleep] Believe whoever the [Bleep] You want." "I'm done with this [Bleep]." "[Bleep] Done." "Finished." " Is everything all right, bro?" "Heard a lot of yelling." " Same bull[Bleep], different day." " I owe you an apology." " I'm sorry, too." " You want to be friends with her, go right ahead." "Do I?" "[Bleep] Her." " Give me your purse!" " Let's go." "Nicole is smashed right now." "Nicole!" "I don't need you to get arrested for this [Bleep]." " Okay, so what did I do?" "Tell me!" " Tell me!" "I don't know!" " What he [Bleep] Have I done?" " Yeah, that's him?" " [Bleep] That [Bleep]." "I'm done with this [Bleep]." " You all right, bro?" "Heard a lot of yelling." " Same bull[Bleep], different day." " Time to go to the gym." "You ready?" " Yeah, let's go." " All right, let's go." " I don't know what it is." "I guess, whatever happened in Miami." "You know, we had issues, and she's bringing it into this house, and I'm getting tired of it." "I just need to clear my head." " Like, don't get me wrong." "I'm sure you care for the girl, but she's definitely bringing you down." " She's not the same person that I met [Bleep] Last year." " Yep, that..." "It happens, dude." " But you know, like, I love her," "I want to be with her." "I want to be with that kind of girl." " You want to be with that person that you knew." "This may not be that girl, you know what I mean?" "Take it out on the gym right now." "You know what I'm saying?" " One more." " Sam accused me of [Bleep] Around, but I didn't do anything." "I haven't done anything since Miami." " Three." " To be honest with you," "I don't need to deal with this [Bleep]." "She's a grown woman." "She can make her own decision." "She should have [Bleep] Pushed me away." " One shot, come on!" " It's like, why am I dealing with Sam's drama?" " Good upper cut." " It's mind-boggling." " I don't want to go to work." " Neither do I. I really don't." "I'm not into it today." ""Um, can you help me pick out something for my shirt?" "What should I get?"" "What the [Bleep] You think you should get?" "What the hell do I look like?" "[Bleep] Dj." " [Laughs]" " Samantha!" "Get your ass down here!" "We gotta go to work!" " Tootles." " See you guys." "The guidos are here!" " All right Sammi sweetheart, Nicole," "I got a little job for you girls." " Two and one, right?" " Yeah, exactly." "You've done this before." " Yep." " I don't want to work with Sam." "It's not a fun time." " Bang those out, girls." " Well, this is boring." " I didn't know if I wanted to really apologize on Nicole in the workplace but, um, it had to come out." "I owed Nicole an apology, so I told her how I felt." "I owe you an apology, and I am sorry for cutting our friendship completely, and it's disgusting I didn't believe the right thing, but I am so wrong, and you were so right the whole time," "and just thank you for going on your..." "For doing something." " Do you know how long I've waited for that?" "I just wanted to..." " When you're in love, sometimes you don't want to see the bad, and you don't want to believe it." " You needed to know." "And even when you did know, you didn't do anything." " And now I don't know what to do." " You're gonna stay with this guy?" "That's not okay." " No, it's not okay." "No matter what, you can talk to me." " Thank you." " I wouldn't see myself really accepting an apology, because I would have been like, "[Bleep] You."" "Like, it shows how good of a person Nicole is." "I thought you were out to get me and you weren't." " And I was..." "I was being friends to you." " You were a friend." " And I'm like, "oh, my God, this bitch is so mean."" " I was mean." " That's okay." "I'm sorry, too." " Hug." " Nah!" "Oh, my God, bitch, you're such a whore." "Why were you like that?" " I don't know." " Oh, my goodness!" "Girl talk!" "I don't think a male should have to witness that." "Aw, you know what's cool?" "You guys walk together now." " Yeah!" " Aww!" " How was your day?" "I call you." " Right." " Me and tom are on rocky conditions right now." "I forgot my anniversary, so the conversation isn't really going well." "All right." "Well, call me when you're not a [Bleep]." "Good-bye." "Joking or not, he's still being a jerk-off, so I'm taking it as that I'm gonna do me and have a good time down in Jersey." "[Bleep] Idiot." " Thank you, Nicole." " You're going out tonight, right?" " Yeah, I hope." "Now, like, you know, like, it's not gonna be awkward." "Let's move on from it, hopefully." "So at first, I didn't give deena, like, a chance at all." "Deena." " Yeah?" " Sorry." "Come here." "But, um, it feels good talking to Nicole, so why not talk to deena now?" "Maybe I'll feel even better." "It's okay, it's all right." "Here, sit." " I'll let you girls be to yourselves, 'cause I can't hear this [Bleep] Again." "[Laughing]" " Okay, let me tell you where I'm coming from." " Yeah." " Coming to this house and knowing that I'm not really great friends with Nicole and jwoww, knowing that you're friends with Nicole, so I felt very, like, on my own and defensive." " No, I know." " Can I just say, like, I think when I first came in the house, like..." " [Burps]" " No matter what, like, whatever relationship I have with you is not with jenni, it's not with Nicole, it's with yourself." "That's all I can ask for, and, like, um, first thing, it's squashed." " All right, it's done." "It's erased." " So, let's move forward." " Erased." " And that's it." " We'll drink patron tonight and have a good time." " Yes." " I'm really happy that we worked things out, but the only thing I'm worried about is, like, the whole jenni and Sammi thing, 'cause jenni is like, she's my girl." "You brought me into this house, and jenni has had my back since day one." " It will never be okay with jenni and Sam ever." "It won't." "I feel kind of bad, like, being friends with Sammi now." "Jenni, come here, please." "So I need to talk to jenni." "So, I talked to Sam at work." "She's like, "we had good times and I [Bleep]Ed it up,"" "and she apologized for everything." " She didn't apologize to me." " She's..." "I think she's scared to talk to you." " I would be, too." "It's too late." "There's no possible way in hell that I would ever be friends with Sam again." "So you want to be friends with her, go right ahead." "Do I?" "[Bleep] Her." " ♪ Get out, get down ♪" "♪ while you're feelin' the jams ♪" "♪ come on, move on ♪" "♪ we're leading you on, yeah ♪ [girl laughs]" " I want to get on that stage, I want to dance," "I want to, you know, do what I have to do." "[Electronic dance music]" " To smushing tonight." " To smushing." " Oh, my vagina's out." "[Screams]" "Everything kind of just went blank." " Where is she going?" "Nicole!" " Where's the beach?" "[Percussion and bass]" "♪ ♪" " it's almost t-shirt time, br." " Yo, I'm calling the cab." " Where you goin'?" " I'm going to karma." " Give us about a half-hour." " Thank you, sir." " You got it." " You have a half-hour." "Half-hour." "Half-hour." " I'm breakin' out the new fist-pump tonight." " I love how they look so much bigger." " Your boobs look [Bleep] Phenomenal." " Phenomenal." " [Laughs]" " What a good time." " Yo, my prediction is somebody needs to carry her out of the club tonight." " Listen, you don't know me." "I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna dance." "I'm not drinking at the club." "[Electronic dance music]" "♪ ♪" " I'm walking into karma, the first person that I see is Roger." "Roger is an old friend of mine." "We had something in the past a long time ago, but, you know, as of right now, we're still friends." " ♪ Here we go ♪" "♪ she dance at the party ♪" "♪ and she's always in the light ♪" " dancing is my best thing." "I don't care if people look at me [Bleep] Funny." "I just love to dance, and get off of me." " ♪ This is out of control ♪" " ♪ and I know, oh-oh ♪" "♪ she's a superstar, and it shows ♪" "♪ oh-oh, this is out of control ♪" "♪ and I know ♪" "♪ oh-oh, she's a superstar-star-star ♪" " did deena really just fall off the... yeah." "I fell off the [Bleep]In' stage." " ♪ What's goin' on ♪" "♪ feelin' your heart in my patron ♪" " deena calls herself the holiday, and I like to call her the holiday inn." "So 6 minutes and 53 seconds into karma, uh, the holiday inn closed early tonight." " ♪ She's outta control ♪" " we knew that was gonna happen." "She's getting crazy." "She's getting crazy, bro." "[Dance music]" " Paula is the cute girl that I had met down in seaside last year." "We were in the jacuzzi together doing what, what, or whatever, and then she kind of forgot she had legs." "That girl is something else." "We just got chemistry, and, uh, we're not talking about the class." "♪ ♪" "[screams]" " Snooki is really drunk right now." "And I'm trying to tell her, like, she should tone it down a little bit." "But she's being really, really extremely stubborn, and she's kind of a mess." " Ow." " Roger kind of looks like a big juice monkey, yet he is polite, respectful, which is shocking." "I definitely think me and Roger have feelings for each other, but really can't express them because I still have tom." "My friends Lauren's telling me that Roger has a girlfriend that works at the tanning salon." "Lauren's the one that came to the house back in Jersey last year to get Paula." " You missed your first day at work." "Your mom's hysterical, doesn't know what the [Bleep] Happened to you." "Go get your [Bleep], let's go." "I told your mom I wasn't leaving without you." " Really?" "Like, come on, dude." "I don't care if Roger was hooking up with someone from the tanning salon, but I don't like liars." "Upstairs at karma, there's no bathrooms." " No one's looking at you." " Stop it!" " Oh!" "Oh!" " What the [Bleep] Was that?" "[Upbeat music]" " No, cool it." "It's like if you've been lying to me on the first day of me seeing you again, like, then you can just lie for the rest of your life." "I walk away." "I just want to have fun at this point." " Hey!" " So me and Nicole go upstairs where it's closed off." "Decide to have our own nightclub up there, just me and her." " ♪ Let's have a sexy party ♪" "♪ nose jobs and champagne ♪" "♪ let's have a sexy party ♪" "♪ mink, razors, so vain ♪" "♪ let's have a sexy party ♪ - [Both scream]" " ♪ Rock stars are so lame ♪" "♪ sounds like I'll hate that party ♪" " I did." " Upstairs at karma, there's no bathrooms, and there's, like, 30 stairs." "I had huge heels on, and if you're like myself, you can't make it downstairs, you make your own bathroom." "Don't tell anybody!" " No one's looking at you!" " Stop it!" " Seriously, like, who pees in the bar?" "Oh, God." "Shh." "So embarrassing." "Oh, look at Ron and Sam making up." "Vomit." " Go pff." "Go pff." "Pff." "[Laughing]" "Obviously us together is unhealthy, but some relationships, like, unhealthy makes them grow stronger, so maybe, hopefully, you know, we're gonna make it through together." " Whether we fight or not, we do have this connection that I don't think anybody will ever understand." "Maybe we're not meant to be in a relationship, but I think that we can, you know, make it work." " Come here, you [Bleep] Ass[Bleep]." " Last summer, when I met Danielle, she turned into a psycho stalker." " Bye." "You stalked my whole entire life, right?" "And I don't like that." "If you weren't such a [...] Stalker," "I would have called you when I got home." "[Dial tone]" " [Laughs]" " She still worries me, that girl." " You going to the bathroom?" " Yeah, bro." " Bye, guys." " Yo, we'll be back." "We'll be back." "No, no, no, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good." "No, no." " Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Park." " What the [Bleep] Was that?" " I see cups flying in the air, ice, and pauly dripping wet." "I'm like, "holy [Bleep], who did this?"" " [Bleep] [Bleep]." " At first, I thought it was a guy, but then when I seen it was Danielle." "Get her out of here!" "Get the [Bleep] Outta here!" "Get outta here." " I got it, I got it." "I don't know why Danielle the stalker threw a drink at me." "I haven't talked to this girl in a year." "To throw a drink in my face?" "Me, of all people?" "[Microphone thuds]" " I don't want to be the bitch, but you have to go." " No, I won't." " At this point, I'm really worried that Nicole's gonna get arrested." " You are not cool." "Get the [Bleep] Off." "[Handcuffs click]" " We got these two girls that we met earlier." "Gonna end up taking them home." "Yo, seaside's so beautiful." "Look at the garbage." " [Laughing]" " Tomorrow's gonna be a rough morning." " Here we are!" "My girl's pretty d.T.F. Tonight." "She's sending all the right signals." "My d.T.F.-Ometer is pretty much at, like, a ten." " This is nice." " So I really didn't waste that much time hooking up with this girl." " Paula is reading off the charts on the d.T.F meter." " Whoa, that's cool." "[Laughing[" "Yeah." "So, tonight's gonna be a good thing." "You want these?" "They're comfortable." "[Water running]" "Now it's time for food." "Ron, you coming down for food?" " Yeah." " Let's make it happen." "This is where dreams come true." "Whoa, [Bleep]." " Whoa, [Bleep] Fire." " I got the grill on." " I know, I'm trying to get the Turkey burgers unfrozen." " Vin is trying to probably mack some game right now, 'cause I think they have two random chicks in there." " Vinny is getting it in, and, um, my girl's, um, doesn't want to..." "To get it in, so pauly d is getting some sleep." "Good night." " Who [Bleep]Ed up the Turkey burgers is all I want to know." "Jeez, it's all [Bleep]Ed up, bro." "Turkey burgers are frozen together, not coming apart, so it's like [Bleep] It." "I'm throwing them all on." " Wow!" "That's a big move right there." " It looks like [Bleep], like, paper everywhere." "I'm just like, I can't believe" "I'm about to eat this." "Oh, there's one." "There we go." "There's one." "It's still frozen, dog." "You just gotta stick in in." " That's what she said." "It still don't work." " Whoa!" " Oh, see what happens?" "Put it on the grill." "It's good." "The heat burns the germs." " You kept the plastic?" "Oh, you're doomed." " The heat..." "The heat burns the germs." " That's for vinny." " [Laughs] It's still good." " This chick was really cool." "As soon as she was done with me, like, she just said, "I have to go." "I want to go meet my friend."" "And I was like, "all right, I'll call a cab for you."" "Bye." "Nice knowin' ya." " Yo, vin, you guys acting quick, dog." "You pulled a [Bleep] Superman." " Yo, how the [Bleep] Did you get those Turkey burgers defrosted?" " Who's the grill master, dog?" " Yo, Paula, you don't want to hang out with me?" "Ooh." " Oh, my God, I'm freezing." " [Laughing]" " Ronnie's back." " [Laughing]" " Like, you're cooking at 4:30 in the morning, and you're laughing." " [Snickering]" " Ronnie has two different kinds of laughs." "One laugh is a soft little girl laugh, where he's like, [high-pitched] T-ha ha ha ha ha!" " [High-pitched laugh]" " Then Ronnie has another big laugh where he sounds like a dolphin on steroids, where it goes, ta-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." " [Laughing]" " Feels really good to be kickin' it with Ron, 'cause, like, Ron has been through a lot with Sam, and at the end of the day," "I just want my boy to be happy." " [Laughing]" "[Upbeat music]" "♪ ♪" " I just don't want to go to work today." "Like, seriously, I'm tired." "I need my sleep." " I tried waking her up, Nicole, but she's still in bed, so..." "We gotta..." "I gotta leave, like, soon." " Ugh." " Are you coming?" " She's gonna go to work in the same dress she wore out?" " Let's go." " [Laughing]" " Don't laugh at me, Ronnie." "Punch you." " Is that the new store uniform?" "'Cause I didn't get one." " [Laughing]" " Someone's wearing a blanket in 100 degrees?" " I don't feel good." " Course not." "You were out partying last night." " No I wasn't." "I just don't feel good." " You didn't go out last night?" " No." " No, you stayed at home?" " Yeah." " Read the Bible?" " She wore this dress just for the storefront today." " Nicole, ditch the blanket, please!" " What can I get you?" "That's a good line, right?" " 55." " Here's 50." " I have a question." " Ask away." " You want to funnel beer?" " It's [Bleep] 10:30." "You were just sick a second ago." " Do you want to do anything fun?" " Uh, yeah, it's, like, a sale." "I love that." "It totally psychs me up." " Snooki's drinking is..." "It's pretty out of control." "From 11:00 in the morning till the wee hours of the night and never stopping?" "That means you're drunk all day and all night long." " Nicole!" " Oh, God, what?" "Every time I try and steal a beer," "Danny catches me." " Nicole, where you going now?" " [Screams] I'm going pee!" " No, you're not!" "You're funneling a beer!" " If I want to have a beer," "I'm allowed to have a beer." " That's it." "You're staying all night." " This isn't, like, law school." "This is a t-shirt shop." " Danny, I'll do anything." "I'll [Bleep] Lick the carpet." " You don't see that as being a problem?" "You're ready to lick the carpets?" " [Laughing]" " This is called rock bottom." "Go get a coffee." " I told Danny that I was going to go get coffee, but I really went to the bar to take shots." "To smushing tonight." " To smushing." " Yay." " Yay." " Oh, I need to pick up pickles." "Oh, my God, they're totally gonna see me." "Boing!" "All right, I passed work." "Holy Jesus." "This morning was so bad, and now, it's, like, really good." "I got pickles and a long island." " What took so long?" " Oh, I'm getting pickles." " You left for a couple of minutes to get a "coffee."" "There's no [Bleep] Coffee here." "Come on." " Stop!" " You're coming right now." " You're being psycho." " Let's get back to work now, come on." " I want to go on that." "Can we go on that?" " Me and deena are extremely hung-over from karma, so we want to go get a coffee at bubba's." "We're just really hurting." " I keep getting camel toe, I feel." " Is this more?" "[Gasps]" "Yeah, it is." "Right from work, I went to the bar." "You know what's a good time?" "Taking a shot off your wife." " Uh-oh!" " Old people, they lose their sex life, and that's not a fun time." "That's why people always get divorced." "You lick this, take the shot, and then take it out of her mouth." "Oh, hell, yeah!" "You two are totally banging tonight." "I think I should be a sex therapist." "Oh, my God!" " I got kicked out of the club last night." " Aah!" " Nicole is smashed right now." "She's on, like, a 24 hour binger." " Aah!" "Ohh!" " Ugh!" "Ugh!" " Whoo!" " After taking shots with the old couple, everything kind of just went blank." "Bye." " Easy, easy." " Oh, my vagina's out." "[Screams]" " This girl is fricking drunk." "Next thing you know, she is darting." " Where's she going?" "I'm like, "snooks?"" "[Frenzied music]" "Where is she?" " Nicole!" " I just want to go on the beach." "Where's the beach?" "[Upbeat surf music]" " Nicole!" " Where the [Bleep] Is the beach?" "I'm so annoyed." "Where's the beach?" "Oh, my God." "I want to go to the beach so bad." "Love you, bye." "Free for all." "Ow." "It's hot." "Ow." "This isn't fun." " Nicole!" "It's too early for this [Bleep]." "My number one main concern right now is getting Nicole off the beach before she gets in trouble." "I'm gonna save you." " Come on, Nicole." " This is a good time." " No, you don't want to go in the water with your..." "Give me your purse!" " Let's go." "It's always a day at the beach with Nicole." "I don't even know what to do right now." "Come on." "There's no controlling that 4'9" girl." "She's like a 3,000-pound man." "She's like a bulldozer." "Oh, dear Jesus." "Oh, my God, I'm gonna fall." " Just afraid she's gonna turn around and run to the beach again." " No, you're psycho." " We're getting our bathing suits." "We're getting our bath..." " Come on, Nicole, really?" " I just want to fly in." " Snooki is on the beach, rolling around." "She's falling all over the place." " [Sighs]" "Are you ready to go?" " I am so hot." " I don't need you to get arrested for this [Bleep]." " I just want a [Bleep]Ing good time!" "I will start a party." " Snooki!" " [Slurred] This is a bad situation." " At this point, I'm really worried that Nicole's gonna get arrested or get in trouble for acting a fool on the beach." "I don't want to be the bitch, but you have to go." " No, I won't." " Yeah, you do." "[Crowd cheers] Come on." "The police decide to help me pull Nicole off the beach, and it was a success, but Nicole can't shut her mouth." " Ew, get the [Bleep] Off my arm before..." " You're talking to a police officer like that." " Like, snook, like, shh." "Relax." "Like, it's okay." "Shh!" "Shh!" "Like, please." " Get the [Bleep] Off." "Get off." "[Handcuffs click]" " Wait, where is she going?" " She was being a nuisance." "Like, really?" "I didn't even know there was a charge for that." " I'm a [Bleep] Good person." " [Crying] [Bleep]." "Try so hard to protect that girl, man." " She so little." "Like, what do we do?" " Watch your head." "Watch your head." "Watch your head." " These are hers, man." " I begged her." "I begged her." "I even told her, you're going to get arrested." "[Siren whoops]" " [Slurred] It's not okay, and I'm mad." "You guys are no fun." " I need to call her dad before he finds out from someone else." "What is it called, drunk and indecency?" "Drunken..." " Intoxication in the public." " Drunken public intoxication?" "Hi." "Is this snook's dad?" "Hi, Mr. polizzi." "It's jwoww." "Nicole just got arrested for public intoxication." " ♪ I know what she wants from me ♪" "♪ I cannot forget that she is someone's ♪" "♪ daughter ♪" " what happened?" " Nicole got arrested." " Public..." " Public indecency." " ♪ She got what she needs from me ♪" "♪ now I'm saying good-bye to her ♪" "♪ she's someone's ♪" "♪ daughter ♪"