"In the summer of 1942  my father drove my brother, Arty, and me to Yonkers, New York  to visit our grandmother for the first time in two years." "Mom died about three months ago, we're at war with Germany and Japan  and Pop was nervous because Grandma didn't like him much." "And the feeling was mutual." "This trip had all the signs of a disaster, even bigger than Pearl Harbor." "Boy, it's hot!" "Could I open this window, Pop?" "It's broken." "Don't fool around." "It's not my car." "It'd be breezier if we went faster." "You go faster, you use more gas." "It's rationed, there's a war on." "Don't bother me." " What'll it be?" " Three gallons." " Stamp book?" " Here." "Is the bathroom in there?" "I'm going to the bathroom." "You can stretch, but no playing." "It's dusty around here." "Can we get a Coke?" "Grandma has a candy store, doesn't she?" "You'll get plenty of soda there." "That's the third time he stopped to pee." "That's what Grandma does to him." "She makes him pee?" "Know what she used to do to Aunt Bella?" "Grandma hit her on the head every time she did something stupid." "If she dropped a spoon, whacko!" "If she tore her stocking, whacko!" "They used to call her Whacko in high school." " Aunt Bella went to high school?" " A little." "She missed the first year because she couldn't find it." "Boys!" "In the dirt?" "Even though it was 98 degrees outside, you could feel a chill in the air  as we got near the house where Grandma lived." "I'm sure glad Arty and I never grew up here." "Wipe your face." "You got perspiration all over." "She doesn't like sweating?" "You two wait in the store, I have to have a talk with Grandma first." "Don't touch anything, because Grandma knows where everything is." "Not a pretzel, not a Tootsie Roll, nothing, you understand?" "Yes, Pop." "I don't know where Aunt Bella is." "Don't let her make you anything." "You want an ice cream or a soda, Grandma's the one who says yes." "Yes, Pop." "No jokes about Aunt Bella, you hear me?" " I hear you." " We hear you." "All right." "I'll call you in a few minutes." "Look." "Come here." "Look, my favorite." "How could Pop torture us like this?" "His own kids?" "You touch one thing in here, that German cane'll come flying down and whacko you'll be back in kindergarten." "It would be worth it." "Bella, you wanna make the rounds with us?" "I'm not in the garbage business, thank you." " Looking pretty snazzy today." " Don't say anything." "Just walk right by." "When we gonna take that walk down to the river?" "Don't talk to me that way, Danny Petrillo." "You little punk kid." "You punks should be in school instead of smoking cigarettes." "You behave yourself, hear me?" "Thanks for asking." "This one looks like Pop." "This is Uncle Louie." "This is Aunt Bella, I guess." "Looked a little goofy, even then." "And this one's Aunt Gert." "The one that can't breathe too good?" "Ever notice there's something wrong with everyone on Pop's side of the family?" "Mom told me that." " How come Aunt Gert can't breathe?" " I don't know." "She can't..." "She can't talk right." "She says the first half of a sentence breathing out, the second half sucking in." " You've seen it." " Do it for me." "Pop'll hear it." "He said no jokes, didn't he?" "Only about Aunt Bella." "Come on." "Show me how Aunt Gert sucks in her sentences." ""Hello, Jay." "How are you?" ""How's your father and how's your little brother, Arty?"" "I love it when you do that." "I once saw her try to blow out a candle, and halfway there she sucked it back on." "There's Aunt Bella." "Where's she going?" "She probably forgot where she lives." "Aunt Bella, where are you going?" " What?" " Aren't you coming in?" "I'm glad you called me." "I was daydreaming." "I would've walked right into the ocean." "What are you kids doing here?" "It's after 6:00." "We're closed." "It's Jay and Arty, Aunt Bella." "Your nephews?" "My God!" "It's Jay and Arty." "My nephews!" "I thought you weren't coming until Saturday." "It is Saturday." "I know that." "Jay, Arty!" "It's so good to see you." "Give your Aunt Bella a kiss." "Come here, you." "Come on outside." "I wanna get a better look at you." "I wanna see how big you've both gotten." "Stand there." "No." "There." "In the size places." "Look at you." "The both of you got so much bigger." "You're growing up so fast, it almost makes me cry." "Where's your father?" "I haven't seen him in so long." "He's upstairs talking to Grandma." "I better not disturb them, then." "Did she ask for me?" "I don't know." " Did you tell her I was here?" " No, you just got here." " Did you tell her where I went?" " We didn't know where you went." "I went to the movies." "Don't tell Grandma." "I saw this picture with Bette Davis and George Brent." "You know the one?" "No." "It was Bette Davis and George Brent." "And they had air conditioning." "I was actually cold." "I felt so happy for those actors to be in an air-conditioned theatre." "I don't think the actors feel it." "They're just pictures on the screen." "No, I know that, silly." "They'd be happy to know that the people watching the movie were nice and cool, so we enjoy the movie better." " Right." " Sure." "I bet I know what would make you two cool in a second." "What about a big ice-cream sundae deluxe with everything on it?" "That's it." "Come on." "I'll make them for you." "The thing is, Pop said we shouldn't have anything." " Not anything." "Right, Arty?" " I don't remember." "Your father, he never takes anything from anybody." "I couldn't even give your mother a cup of coffee." "Did you know that?" " Where is your mother, anyway?" " She's dead." "Mom is dead." "Yeah, I know." "I mean, where is she buried?" "At Mount Israel Cemetery in the Bronx." "You were at the funeral, remember?" " You mean the first time?" " What do you mean?" "When I came in the car and not the bus." "The bus?" "That was somebody else." "Sometimes my mind wanders." "The kids at school used to say:" ""Lost and Found called and said, 'Come and get your brains."'" "Except I didn't really think that was so funny." "I was really sad about your mother." "Boy, I bet you miss her." "It is such a shame she couldn't have had more children." " She didn't, did she?" " No." "I didn't think so." "My mother had six children." "Did you know that?" "There was me and your father and Gert and Louie and Aaron and Rose who died when they were both very little." "And then, in between, my father died, when my mother was pregnant with me." " Is that all right to say to boys?" " Sure." "So I never met my father." "But, boy, I still loved him." "Because I know he would've taken care of me the way your father takes care of you." "Know what I mean?" "Right." "How old do you think I am?" "Take a guess." "Arty, come on." "I don't know, about 35?" "35?" "Wrong." "You are so wrong." "You're so far off it's not even funny." "I'm 36." " But I don't even look it, do I?" " No." "Two deluxe hot-fudge sundaes with everything on them." "Dig in, boys." "Pop didn't want us to have anything yet." "He didn't want to upset Grandma." "We should wait." "What do you mean wait?" "They're done." "They're starting to melt already." "Look at Arty drooling." "We really do want them, but Pop said..." "No, wait." "This is the last time I'm asking, yes or no?" "This is the final call." " Maybe later." " Not later." "It's too late." "I'm not gonna ask you again." "You just hurt my feelings." "Both of you." "I know you miss your mother but that's no reason for you to be disrespectful to me." "I loved your mother always, whether she took coffee from me or not." "And you can tell your father that for me." "I am so sick of this!" "I'm just sick of it!" "You see why I don't like to come here too much?" "Where's Aunt Bella?" "I thought I just heard her." " She's out there." " Is she all right?" "How do you know when she's all right?" "I told you, no remarks about Aunt Bella." "Go on upstairs and wait for me." "We have to talk." "Go on!" "Move!" " You okay, honey?" " All I wanted to do was make them happy." "They had no right to treat me that way." "Eddie!" "It's so good to see you." "It's good to see you, too, Bella." "Listen, honey." "Momma needs you to rub her legs." "They're hurting again." " They only hurt when I come home." " Be nice to her, please." "Especially today." " Can we have a talk?" " I promise..." " A long one?" " After you're done." "I promise." "Then we had our talk with Pop." "He told us how he'd gone broke spending all his money on Mom's hospital bills." "And how he had to borrow $9,000 from a loan shark." "And that he had a year to pay it back, which he couldn't do in 10 years." "Then he told us he got a job selling scrap iron to build ships and tanks  and that maybe he could make back that $9,000 in just a year." "The factories I would sell to are in the South." "Kentucky, Louisiana, Texas." "I'd be gone about 10 months." "Staying in hotels, buses, trains, anyplace I can find a room." "And we'd be free and clear in less than a year." "That's great, Pop." "Now the question comes where do you two live while I'm gone?" " God, it's hot in here." " Please don't make us live here." "I have no choice." "I gave up the apartment today." " Gave it up?" " They raised the rent." "Everybody wants to make money off this war." "Grandma wouldn't be happy with us." "We're slobs." "Arty's always breaking things." "Remember when I broke the good water pitcher?" "And the ink stains on the sofa?" "All mine." "I'm dangerous." "Listen to me, both of you." "She hasn't said yes, positively yet." "She's old, set in her ways, and worried about people being around Bella." "Me, too." "She'll come out, she'll talk to you, and she'll see how it goes." "If she says no, I can't take this job." "It's up to you to convince her that you won't be any trouble and that you really wanna live here." "Can you do that?" "What?" " She's so mean to me." " She's not." "She's just old." "Can't you come and live with us?" "I miss you so much." "I have to go away for a while, but I got some good news for you." "You know who's gonna stay here if Momma says yes?" "Arty and Jay." "Won't that be nice?" "Yes." "Momma's thinking about it now." "Why don't you go to your room for a while?" "No, I wanna stay here with you!" "Lt'd be easier if Momma and the boys..." " I'm staying with you." " Oh, God." "All right, okay." "Here." "You sit down right here." "But you gotta be very quiet." "We don't wanna get Momma upset." "Fix your tie, Jay." "Straighten your collar, Arty." "And stand up straight, both of you." "So?" "Hello, Grandma." "I know you haven't seen the boys in a long time, Ma." "They wanted to come, but their mother was so sick." "They've grown up, haven't they?" " This is the little one?" " Yes, Arthur." "He's two years younger than Jay." "And this one I remember more." "This one looks like his mother." " What's the matter with your eyes?" " My eyes?" "Nothing." "I have a little allergy." " You were crying, maybe?" " Me?" "No, I never cry." "Big boys shouldn't cry." "I know." "I haven't cried in years." "A couple times when I was a baby." "They're strong kids." "Both of them." " Jacob, eh?" " Yes, but they call me Jay." "No, I don't like Jay." "Jacob is a name." "Sure, Jacob is fine." "And Arthur?" "Arthur, but they call me Arty." "I don't call you Arty." "Sure, I love Arthur." "It's like King Arthur." " You go to school?" " Yeah." "Yes." "I go to the same school as Jacob." " Which one is the smart one?" " They both do very well in..." "No." "They tell me." "Which one is the smart one?" "Jacob is." "He gets A's in everything." "I'm better at sports." " Sports?" " Baseball?" "Football?" "You play in the mud, the dirt?" "You come home with filthy shoes and mark the floor?" "Never." "I clean them off at the field." "I bring a brush and shine them up on the bench." "Tell me now." "Why do you want to live with Grandma?" "Why don't you tell Grandma, Jacob?" "Because when Pop said we had the opportunity to live here with you our only living grandmother, and our only living Aunt Bella I thought the family should sort of stick together, now that our country's at war with Germ..." "Japan, and that..." "I also think that..." "No, that's all." "And this is the smart one?" "I thought he said that very well, Momma." "What about this King Arthur?" "Why do you want to live with Grandma?" "Because we have no place else to go." "He knows what he wants to say." "I think maybe this is the smart one." "All right." "So, now Grandma will tell you why she doesn't think that you should live with her." "This house is no place for boys." "I'm an old woman." "I don't like noise." "Don't like people in my house." "I had six children once, don't need more." " Can I just say something?" " No, I just say something." "Why should I do this?" "What do I owe your father?" "When did he ever come after he married your mother?" "I never saw him." "She turned him against me, his own mother." "She didn't like me." "I didn't like her." "I'm not afraid to tell the truth, either." "He cried in my bedroom." "Not like a man, like a child cried." "It was always that way." "I buried a husband and two children, and I didn't cry." "Didn't have time." "Bella was born with scarlet fever and until she was 5 years old she didn't talk, and I didn't cry." "And her sister, Gertrude, can't talk without choking, and I didn't cry." "Maybe one day they'll find Louie dead in the street and I won't cry." "That's how I was raised, to be strong." "You don't survive in this world without being like steel." "You think I'm cruel?" "That I'm a terrible person?" "That a grandmother should talk like this?" "That's good." "Make you hard, make you strong." "Then you learn how to take care of yourselves and you don't need anybody's help." "So, that's my decision." "Maybe someday you'll thank me for it." "Give the boys an ice-cream cone, and then come inside and rub my legs." "No." "You're right, Momma." "I am the weak one, the cry-baby." "You're wrong about one thing." "Evelyn never turned me against you." "She turned me towards her." "To loving, to caring." "I am sorry about not bringing the boys out here more." "Maybe I didn't because I was afraid they'd learn something I tried to forget." "Maybe they just learned it today." "Never mind the ice-cream cone." "Maybe some other time." "Come on, boys." "We're going." "I said, let's go!" "Arty!" "We'll have dinner another night, okay?" "Why don't you go home, pack your things, and I'll get your bedroom ready?" "Thank you anyway, but Momma and I just decided..." "Don't forget your toothbrushes, 'cause we don't carry them in the store." "Each of you bring something from your house you love even if it's big." "We'll make room." "Enough!" "This is not your business!" "And a picture of your mother?" "We can put it here." "It'd be the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning." "This is so exciting!" "Sei still!" "They're going, and that's the end of it!" "They're not, they're staying." "If you make them go, I'm gonna go, too." "I said that a thousand times, but I mean it." "The home would take me." "You're always telling me that." "If I go, you're gonna be all alone, and you're scared to be alone." "Nobody knows that but me." "But you don't have to be, because we'll all be together now." "You and me and Jay and Arty." "Won't that be fun?" ""Dear Pop:" "We finished our first week with Grandma and we're still alive." ""Glad you like Washington, D.C." ""If you happen to see Abraham Lincoln, ask him to free the slaves in Yonkers." ""Just kidding."" "Squeeze the sponge!" "Up here." "Go slow." "Right to the edge." "No." "Drier." "Squeeze!" "That's very good, but get under it." "You are the most stupid boy!" "You are so horrible!" "You are driving me crazy!" " May I sometimes come here?" " Of course." "We could talk about your child." "Our child." "Thank you." "And will you be happy, Charlotte?" "Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon." "We have the stars!" " Hi, Johnny." " Hi, Bella." "Did you like the picture?" "Why not?" "It's my fourth time." "I bet I got the record." "No, I do." "I seen it 12 times." "I cry at the ending every time, do you?" "No, I never saw the ending." "I always have to start cleaning up." " I'll tell it to you sometime." " Okay." "If you're not gonna be too long, I could wait." "We could take a walk." "Yeah, sure." "Except I walk the other way." "That's right." "I'll see you soon, then." "Good night, Johnny." "You look nice in that dress." "Thanks." "You look nice in that uniform." "I wish there was a way to get some money to help Pop." "I don't mean kid money." "I mean real money." "What if one night we cut off Grandma's braids and sold them to the Army for barbed wire?" "Jay, Arty, you asleep?" "Good!" "Something so wonderful is happening to me." "Except I can't tell you what it is." "But you two, you're my good luck charms." "You think I don't hear you coming up the stairs?" " You think I don't know where you been?" " I just been to the movies." "You waste your life in these movies." "And then you throw money away on these movie magazines." "You fill your head with dreams that don't happen to people like us." " Sometimes they do!" " Never." "Give me that magazine." "I don't want that trash in my house." "Momma, please don't do this to me in front of the boys." "What do I care what the boys see?" "Give me that trash!" "You give it to me!" "When I'm dead, you can buy your own magazines." "No, I won't." "Because when you're dead, you'll still take it from me." "You like to pay my electric bill?" "You try cutting off my braids, you get your fingers chopped off." ""Dear boys:" ""Somewhere in Alabama, God knows where." ""Doing pretty good business, but had a minor setback last week." ""The doctor said I had an irregular heartbeat." ""But don't worry." "I feel fine." ""And the harder I work, the quicker we'll all be together." "Love, Pop."" "You knew I wouldn't forget your birthday, Aaron." "Aaron, these are Eddie's boys, Jay and Arty." "They're your nephews, even though they're older than you are." "We all just came out to say happy birthday, Aaron." "You can say it to him if you want." "Happy birthday, Aaron." "Happy birthday." "See you in September, Rose." "So long, Pop." "I know we're finally gonna meet some day." "I love you." "Thanks for coming." "I'm sure Aaron enjoyed that." "Do you always come here alone?" "Your Aunt Gert comes sometimes and your father came once." "Grandma never comes." "And your Uncle Louie can't." " Why not?" " On account of the work he does." " What kind of work?" " He's a..." "What do they call that?" "He's a bagman." "What's a bagman?" "He collects money from people and then he puts it in this bag." "Then he gives it to this man, who pays him for doing it." " I think he's a gangster." " Uncle Louie is?" "No." "The man he works for." "Uncle Louie's just his hunchback." " His hunchback?" " Yeah, I think so." " Do you mean "henchman"?" " Yes, that's it." " Does Grandma know?" " Grandma knows everything." "Even about him being a hunchback." " How's business, kid?" " It's okay." " You know a Louie Kurnitz?" " Yeah, he's my uncle." " You see him around?" " No, not since I've been here." "When he comes around, you let me know." "I got some of these, with bigger numbers on it." "Some guys were looking for Uncle Louie." "They gave me a dollar." "I get half, right?" "They look like killers to me." "I wonder what they want." "You two want to talk, you sit down and buy something." " Don't annoy my customers!" " I was just going." "I wonder what those guys would give us for Grandma?" "I can't stay here very long." "Momma would never believe it if I told her I got lost going to the bank." "That's okay." "You look a little sad." " Is anything wrong?" " No." "Yes, it is." "I can see it in your eyes." "You can tell me." "I'm your friend, Bella." " I know who you are." " I know that you know." "So why can't you tell me?" "I want to join the Army." "The Army?" "Our Army?" "Yeah." "But they wouldn't take me." "I couldn't pass the..." "Whatever they give you, I couldn't pass it." " I'm kind of glad." " You are?" "Sure. 'Cause if you were in the Army, I would miss you." "I'd miss you, too." "Good." "'Cause now we won't have to miss each other, 'cause we'll be together." " I'm not gonna be an usher all my life." " I know." "You told me." "Do you know what color my eyes are?" "No, what?" " You're looking right at them." " I'm a little color blind." " You have beautiful eyes." " No." "Men don't have beautiful eyes." "Yes, they do." "Don't tell me." "Wanna kiss me?" "Yeah, I do." "I really would." " Then kiss me." " I will." "I mean now, today." "Sometime today." "We've done it before, you know." "Are you gonna put your arms around me, or not?" " Don't tell me how to do it." "I know how." " Then do it, don't say you're gonna." "I said okay." "Okay, that's enough." "I can't breathe." "I have to breathe." "Okay, that's enough for today." "I don't know why they wouldn't take you in the Army!" "Married?" "You're getting married?" "Not so loud!" "You want Grandma to hear you?" "Why do you think I'm telling you down here for?" " You're really getting married?" " Have you found anyone yet?" "What do you mean, have I found anyone yet?" "Of course I found someone." "His name is Johnny." "He's an usher at the Bijou." "Jay, Arty, I have never been so happy in my whole life." "How come he's not in the Army?" "They wouldn't take him on account of his handicap." " What handicap?" " A reading handicap." " You mean he has bad eyes?" " No." "He just has trouble learning things, the way I did." "He even went to a special school for a while." "He was in the home once." "The one Grandma's always telling me I'm gonna go to if I'm not a good girl." " How old is he?" " He's 30, maybe 40." "But he's so handsome." "And he doesn't wanna be an usher forever, either." "One day he wants to open up his own restaurant with me." "I would be the cook and he would be the manager." "Could he manage a restaurant if he couldn't read the menus?" "I would help him out." "But the only thing is, he doesn't make a lot of money and we would need about $5,000 to open up a restaurant." "I don't know if Grandma would give it to me." "Do you?" "I don't think she'll let you go to the movies anymore." "Your mother has $5,000?" "Yes." "She's got more than that." "She's got $10,000 or $15,000." "I'm not supposed to tell anybody." "Where does she keep it?" "In the bank?" "No." "She keeps it right here in the house somewhere." "She changes the hiding place every year." "Not even Gert or Louie or your father knows where it is." "There." "We got all the laundry up." "Stupid Dummkopf." "Let's take them all down before it gets any wetter than it is." "This always happens to me." "$15,000?" "That's a lot of money!" "Promise me you won't tell Grandma that I told." "I promise!" "She and I have very short conversations." "I know I can trust you boys." "You know what?" "I even thought of a name for the restaurant:" "La Bella Johnny." " That's nice." " You like it?" "I just hope he can read it." "Wait till Grandma meets Johnny." "He'll be back in the home in a week." "Where would someone like Grandma hide her money?" " You're not thinking of stealing it?" " No." "What if we just borrowed it?" "I'd just love to send Pop an envelope with $9,000." " Who would he think sent it to him?" "God?" " No." "He had an uncle in Poland who died." "We could say he left the money to Pop in his will." "Do you think the Germans would let some Jew in Poland send $9,000 to some Jew in Alabama?" "I searched the house whenever Grandma was out." "You stay there." "Come on." "And then I thought, "The candy store."" "Quiet." "You don't want Grandma to hear." "You look under the candy counter." "I'll look under the ice-cream cones." "Get me a chocolate cone with sprinkles." "Shut up, will you?" "That's breaking and entering." "Two to five years." " Who's that?" " Get that light off my face!" "What do you want?" "There's nothing for you to steal in here." " Is that you, Jay?" " Yeah." " And Arty?" " Yeah." "Who are you?" "It's your Uncle Louie." "What do you know?" "A couple of big guys now, ain't you?" "You been sitting here long?" "Since Ma closed up the store." "I been waiting for her to go to sleep." "Nobody told us you were coming." "Nobody knew." "It was a big surprise, even for me." "Come here." "Give me a hug." "You heard me." "Move it!" "A couple of middleweights, huh?" "Are you staying tonight?" "A couple of days." "Maybe a week." "They're painting my apartment." "You didn't know that?" "They just found the right color." "It's hard to find with the war on." "If you kids steal ice cream in the middle of the night you're gonna be sorry." "Take it from me." "Your pop and me, we used to do the same thing when we was kids." "We never took anything during the day." "No candy, no ice cream." "But when Ma let her braids down, and turned out the lights we was down there lapping up the cream like a couple of cats." "'Cause the fun was in out-smarting Ma." "Because she was quick." "She could tell if there was salt missing from a pretzel." "The next morning at breakfast, she would just stare at me." "Right into my eyeballs, pupil to pupil, never blinking." "Her eyes looked like two district attorneys." "But I would just stare right back at her until she looked away from me." "Down for the count." "Yeah, me and Ma." "We used to love to put on the gloves and go the distance." "What?" "What is it?" "This?" "Don't worry about it." "I'm just holding it for a friend." "This cop I know, he's on a camping trip with his kids." "He don't want no accidents." "Is it loaded?" "I hope not." "If it goes off now, I have to become a ballerina." "I never knew a policeman could lend his gun to someone." "You got a real smart brother there." "Did you know that, Arty?" "You're right, Jay." "It's my gun." "I'm a bodyguard for a very important, very prominent political figure." "It's kind of like being an FBI man, only they call it something else." "You mean a henchman?" "Who told you stories like that?" "Jay?" "No, I swear it." "Don't you ever repeat that word to anyone again." "I didn't mean to say it." "I was thinking of "hunchback."" "We got a couple of jokers here." "Don't try to pull my leg, it might come off in your hands." "Let's discuss a little business." "I'll tell you what." "Why don't you come and work for me?" "$5 a week, split between you." "Cash on the barrel." "Yeah, sure." "There's your first week's pay, boys." "Where?" "In Jay's pocket, that's where." "Go ahead and look." "A $5 bill." "How'd you do that?" "These hands was touched by genius." "I could've been a concert violinist, but the handkerchief kept falling off my neck." " What?" " Too fast for you?" "Never mind." "Arty, you think you can drive a car?" "I'm only 13 years old." "I'm a pretty good roller-skater." "You are?" "That's good." "Because I'm spinning your wheels, kid." "Come on." "Wake up and live!" "It's a fast world out there." "Jesus!" " What would we have to do for the money?" " Nothing." "Like if someone comes around here looking for me you don't know nothing, and you ain't seen nothing." "There were two men here the other day looking for you." "Yeah?" "What did they look like?" "One had a broken nose and he was wearing..." "Wearing a Betty Grable tie." "That's Hollywood Harry and his brother." "If they come around here again asking questions, what do we say to them?" " Nothing." " Smart boys!" "Look in Arty's pocket." " Another $5." " I could've played Carnegie Hall." "We wouldn't be doing anything wrong, would we?" "You're my brother's kids." "You think I'd get you involved in something stupid?" "Don't be stupid." "It's late." "I'm gonna wash up." "One more thing." "Don't touch that." "It's got all my valuables in it." "My driver's license and my draft card and my new cuff links." "Forget about it." "Never mind." "I'll put it somewhere else, so you won't have to worry." "Arty, see if there's anything else in your pajama bottoms." "There's nothing there." "Don't worry about it, kid." "You're young yet." "He's incredible." "It's like having a James Cagney movie in your own house." "How are you doing, Princess?" "No, don't!" "You're in trouble." "I know it." "Whenever you come at night, you're in trouble." " I got you to protect me, don't I?" " Me?" "You'd be better off with a big dog." "You were reading, or you were stealing from me?" "We was just looking." "What's this?" "You know what happens to people who steal from me?" "The next time I call the police." "I don't think we should look for her money anymore." "Jacob, go outside and pull down the awning." "Arthur, go downstairs in the cellar and bring up some bottles of syrup." "I don't feed you for not working." "Have you two thought of anything yet?" "How I could tell Grandma about me and you-know-who?" "We've been kind of busy ourselves." "Sure." "I understand that." "But if you do think of something, I'm gonna give you each a dollar." "I know you can use that." "We could make a great living just from this family." "Hey, Ma." "Happy to see me?" " How long you staying?" " I don't know." "A couple of days, maybe a week." "Maybe a couple of days is better." "I love you, too, Ma." "Hey, kid." "Come here." "Come here." "Come over here." " You know what this is?" " Sure, it's a $5 bill." "You tell your Uncle Louie that Friday night the dance is over." "I haven't seen him, I don't know where he is, and I don't want your money." "Good." "Then you tell him for free." "Oh, God!" "My tooth!" "I just took a little bite." "I don't need a dentist." "You eat my candy, you go to see my dentist." "Here we go." "Quick." "Open the door." "Dummkopf." "He didn't even give me any gas for the pain." "You were lucky." "When we was kids we couldn't afford no dentist." "Ma took out my back molars with an open Coke bottle." "You sit here all night till you finish that soup." "I tried." "I can't get it down." "It's awful." " Eat it up quick." "You won't taste it." " I would taste it if I didn't have a tongue." "You don't want a tongue?" "I can arrange that, too." " Maybe if he just had some plain, hot tea?" " Did I ask you?" "Maybe instead of dinner, you'll go count the pretzels?" " What pretzels?" " The ones in the pretzel jar." "There were nine pretzels in the jar this morning, there are only six tonight." "We don't sell no pretzels today." " Lf you let someone steal, you pay for it." " What?" "Don't "what" me." "You don't "what" your grandma." "Go help Bella wash up the dishes." "And then you go down and clean up the basement." " I'm not through eating." " Bella, take his plate." "Take his plate!" "You find this funny, Louie?" "Don't try taking my plate, Ma." "Louie's hungry." "Eat it quick and no noise." "I talked to Gert." "She's coming over tomorrow night." "That's when I'm going to tell Grandma." "I need you and Arty." "You're gonna back me up on this, right?" "Don't get Grandma upset, because I really need her in a good mood." "Look at me." "I can't stop eating." "I ate three pretzels today." " You ate them?" "Why didn't you tell her?" " She knew I ate the pretzels." "She said, "Why are you eating so much?" "You nervous?"" "Of course I'm nervous about something!" "I'm sorry." "It was an accident." "I'll pay for it." "No." "Put it on my bill with the pretzels." "You're just wasting gas, boys." "Nothing." "Just Hollywood Harry's trying to shake Uncle Louie out of the tree." "I forgot." "They told Jay to tell you that Friday night the dance is over." "Yeah?" "Don't worry about it." "Uncle Louie can out-dance a couple of Bronx palookas like that any day." "I wish I was as tough as you." "You're getting there." "Took on the old lady tonight, that took moxie." " What's moxie?" " What's moxie?" "That's moxie." "Are you in trouble?" "I was never not in trouble." "Hey, Hollywood Harry?" "Take this, right through your Betty Grable tie." "You no-good, dirty, little kid killer." "That store doesn't have to be cleaned for a year now." " Guess what Uncle Louie gave me?" " I don't know." "I'm dead." "A dollar." "Wanna go to the movies on Sunday?" "Movies?" "Let's go to a war movie and see them kill German grandmas." "What you think you're doing?" " Dusting your chair?" " No, I don't think so." "From now on, Arthur, I don't think I be so nice to you." ""Star light, star bright" ""First star I see tonight" ""I wish I may, I wish I might"" "I forget the rest." "But please help me tomorrow night." "I'm gonna show you how I used to sneak out when I was a kid." "I was really hot to see my girlfriend, Francie, but Ma didn't like her." "Why not?" "'Cause Francie was married, and I was 13 and a half." "Come here." "Twenty-two feet." "Me and Bella dug it ourselves." "Bella did?" "I just told her China was on the other side." "She got all excited because she loves Chinese food." " Did Grandma ever know about this?" " She found out about it after a while." "When I crawled out the other side, she was waiting." "Whacko!" "I got that big German hand across the head." "Then it was prison for me." " What prison?" " Grandma's closet." "She used to lock me in there, two, three hours at a time." "No light, no water, no food." "Just enough air to breathe." " That would make me crazy." " I'm tough as nails." "Come on." "Let's go." "Give me your arm." "Arty, come on." "Funny place for a manhole cover." "Stole it from down the street, me and Bella did." "I told her it was to keep everyone from China from moving into our house." "Let's go." "All right." "Back up, boys." "Come on." "Out of the way!" "Here comes Louie Kurnitz, King of Yonkers!" " What'd I just do?" " You jumped in the water." "No, you stupid jerk." "I made a splash." "That's what life is all about, making a big splash." "Otherwise you die a nobody." "And I ain't dying till I'm somebody." "Get him!" "Come on!" "Did Grandma ever put my father in the closet?" "Not a chance." "She used to open up the closet door, he'd tie himself to the radiator even if it was hot." "Eddie was really afraid of her." "Now, Aunt Gert she was more afraid than your old man." "She used to talk in her sleep." "And one night, Ma heard her say some things that she didn't like so Gert didn't get no supper for a week till she learned how to sleep holding her breath." "Which is why she talks so funny today." " Didn't you ever want to run away?" " You kidding?" "I did, 12 times." " Twelve times?" " That's still a record in Yonkers." "Last time, Ma wouldn't take me back." "She told the policeman she didn't know me." " Didn't you hate her for that?" " Sure I hated her, plenty." "Till I realized I could survive without her, or anybody else." "Hell of a teacher, Ma was." "What do you think of your Uncle Louie?" "You like him?" "You bet." "Don't get used to it." "Once you start depending on people, you'll never make it on your own." "You understand?" "Come on." "Get him!" "Give me your best shot." "Would you watch the store until Grandma comes down?" "I have to shop for dinner." "I can't make any ice-cream sodas." "Maybe a glass of water, that's all." "Grandma'll be right down." "And don't forget:" "You and Jay promised you would back me up tonight." " How you doing, son?" " Okay." "Would you like a glass of water?" " Morning." " You bet." "I wouldn't leave that car there too long." "Pretty close to the hydrant." "It'll be gone in a minute." "Hey, big guy." "How about a cup of coffee?" "It's right behind you." "No." "I want to take it with me." "You could take it." "Just bring back the cup." "You boys enjoy your little swim last night?" "Louie knows we ain't gonna make a move unless he's got the black bag with him." "But he'll have it with him tonight." "You can bet his life on it." "Teresa?" "Is that you?" "It's Bella!" "Hello!" "Oh, my God." "Is that yours?" "You were just a baby yourself a few years ago." " Is he a boy or a girl?" " Boy, Andrew." "Looks like his father, I think." "Your husband looks like this?" "He must be very cute." "You know what?" "I used to make ice-cream cones for your momma." "You think I could hold him for a second?" "All right." "But be careful." "He squirms a lot." "Don't worry." "A baby is one thing I would never drop." "You are so cute." "Look at that." "He likes me." "All babies like me." "I see your raise and I raise you five more." "And what do I do?" "That depends on what's in your hand, Dumbo." " You wanna see?" " No, I don't wanna..." "You call me." "Two, three, four, five." "Now what do you got?" "Four cards." "Is that any good?" "If I was a blind man." "Here, now." "Now what do you got?" "I got five cards." "I know you got five cards." "I just gave you five cards." "Don't make me crazy, kid." "I'm not in the mood." "Just declare." " Can't I bet first?" " We already bet!" "We bet and we raised, then we re-raised the raise." "All right." "You wanna bet?" "Bet." "What do you bet?" "I think I'll bluff." "You're gonna bluff?" "If you tell me you're bluffing, then I know you're bluffing then I already win." "Why?" "Maybe I'm just bluffing that I'm bluffing." "Gimme the cards." "Get away from me." "You play like your old man." "Like a loser." "You wanna end up selling scrap iron like him?" "I got four aces." "Does that lose?" " Yeah, that loses." "Four aces stink." " Why?" "Because that's the name of this game, Four Aces Stink." "Take another look." "They're still there." "I guess you're not going to leave tonight." "Don't bet on it." "That's one game I got you beat." "Poker and Coca Cola?" "If Grandma knew, she'd throw me off the roof." " You don't think much of her, do you?" " She's so mean." "When she was 12 years old her old man takes her to a political rally in Berlin." "The cops break it up with sticks, on horseback." "Somebody throws a rock, and a cop bashes in her old man's head." "And then a horse goes down and crushes Ma's foot and nobody ever fixed it." "Hurts every single day of her life." "I never once seen her take even an aspirin." "That's moxie, kid." " Where's Uncle Louie?" " Taking a shower." " I have to talk to him." " About what?" " It's private business." " You don't have any business." "All you got is a job that costs you 12 cents a day." "Not for long." "I'm gonna ask Uncle Louie to take me with him tonight." "What?" "I wanna make some money." "Get a job somewhere." "If we wait for Pop, I'll owe Grandma more than he owes the loan shark." " Then take me with you." " Take you?" "You're only a kid." "Besides, she doesn't treat you the way she treats me." "I'm afraid of her." "A horse fell on her when she was a kid, and she hasn't taken an aspirin yet." "I got my hair done." "Did you notice?" "Yeah." "It looks the same to me." "It is." "I said, "Don't do it any different, 'cause my friend might not like it."" "Do you think I could meet your parents today?" "It's just not a good day today." " Why is that?" " I can just tell." " Okay." "Nothing's wrong, is it?" " No." " Everything's still on, right?" " Yeah, sure." "It's just not a good day today." "I better get started." "Tonight's the big dinner." "Wish me luck, Johnny." "Okay, that's good enough for me." "You wanna go with me?" "Why?" " It's cold and dangerous out there." " I know, but there's money out there." " You're looking to get rich fast?" " It's not for me." "It's to give to Pop." " Ain't that nice?" "Kind of like Robin Hood." " I don't wanna rob people." " No?" "Who you wanna rob?" " No one." " That sort of rules out getting rich fast." " Some people do it." " Meaning who?" " I thought you could teach me some things." "I got nothing to teach you, and I got nothing I wanna teach you!" "You think that's what I do?" "Rob banks?" "Rob liquor stores?" " Little old ladies in the park?" " No, I don't think so." "You got balls, kid." "You know you got balls?" "I'm aware of them, yes." "Take you with me?" "For what?" "For company?" "Your company's beginning to pester me already." "What do I need you for?" "What can you do for me?" "I could carry your little black bag." " You interested in my black bag?" " I just thought..." "But you wanna carry it." "Why?" "Does it look heavy to you?" "You think I got a broken arm, I can't carry a little bag like that?" "Maybe you got some other interest in it?" " Have you been fooling around with it?" " No, I swear." "No, but you're curious, right?" "How much it weighs or something?" " Why don't you pick it up?" " I don't wanna." "Pick it up!" "It ain't gonna bite you." " You won't be happy until you pick it up." " I really don't want to." " Just pick it up." " You stay out of this!" "Arty, come here." " Me?" " That's right!" "You're Arty." "I want you to come over to the table and pick up the bag." "Jay is closer." "Jay is not interested." "I want you to do it." "Pick it up." "I don't know why, but I think I'm going to cry." "Just pick it up." "Is it heavy?" " Is it light?" " No." " What is it?" " It's medium." "It's medium." "Okay." "What do you think is in that bag?" "Money?" "$5s and $10s and $20s and $100s wrapped together with rubber bands?" "What?" " I said, "What"!" " I don't know!" "You don't know?" "Maybe you'll have to open up the bag and see?" "Please, I don't wanna open it." "I'll ask you once more, because I'm out of patience." "Open it!" "Don't do it!" "Leave him alone!" "You want the bag open?" "Do it yourself!" "Maybe you don't rob banks or little old ladies." "You're worse!" "You pick on a couple of kids, your own nephews!" "You make fun of my father because he's afraid of Grandma?" "Everyone in Yonkers is afraid of her." "And something else." "At least my father's doing something in this war." "He's sick and tired, but he's selling iron to make ships and tanks and cannons." "I'm proud of him!" "What are you doing?" "Hiding in your mother's apartment?" "Scaring little kids and acting like Humphrey Bogart?" "You're no Humphrey Bogart!" "Yeah, and I'll tell you something else." "No." "That's all." "That was good." "That was terrific." "I had tears in my eyes, I swear to God." "You got bigger balls than I thought." "You got a couple of steel basketballs there." "Your father's a lucky guy, let me tell you." "You know what you got, Jay?" "You got moxie." "What's moxie?" "Tell him, Arty." "Come on." "That's moxie." "Gert?" "Would you like another piece of strudel with that?" "How about you, Louie?" "Another piece?" " I had enough, thanks." " You always have two pieces." "No, one piece of strudel is enough tonight." "Thank you." "Momma?" "Don't help me with the chairs, anybody." "I know exactly how I want this to be." "Momma, I'm gonna run along now." "I'll call you next week." "Jay, don't worry about it." "Arty, keep your dukes up." " Gert, great seeing you, sweetheart." " You can't go yet!" "You promised!" "I said I'd stay for dinner." "How many dinners are there?" "But the family hasn't had a talk yet." "We talked all through dinner." "I didn't get a chance to swallow nothing." "There's still something that hasn't been talked about." "It wasn't something that we could talk about at dinner." "You sit here." "This is your place." "I told you I had to go right after the coffee." "I had my coffee, I had my strudel, I had my dinner." "I gotta go!" "You can't go!" "You have to be here!" "The whole family has to be here!" " Momma, tell him!" " You're getting excited." "All right, okay." "I won't get excited." "See?" "I'm fine." "Could you just ask him to stay, please?" "He'll stay." "Jay, Arty, sit on the sofa." "Momma, you sit there." "I will sit here, and, Louie, just sit on the chair." "I've been sitting all night." "I think I'll stand." "It would be better if you were sitting." "I pictured everybody sitting." "I don't wanna sit!" "Change the picture." "Picture everybody else sitting and me standing." "Can't you sit for a few minutes till Bella tells us what it is she wants to talk to us about?" "Okay!" "Here." "All right?" "Is this how you pictured it?" "I pictured you sitting on the chair I picked out." "It's very important that I leave here very soon." "Very important!" "I don't wanna upset you, sweetheart." "But I don't wanna spend my time getting the seating arrangements right." "I'm gonna stand up, I'm gonna listen, and then I'm gonna go!" " I pictured everybody sitting." " Jesus!" "Stop arguing with her and sit down before she gets into one of her moods again." "Louie, quiet!" "Gertrude, stop it." ""Louie, quiet." "Louie, stay." "Louie, eat." You don't scare me anymore, Ma." "Maybe everybody else here, but not me." "You understand?" "Louie, sit." "Who wants to start?" ""Who wants to start?" Start what?" "Momma, I don't got time for this." "Maybe when I was 12 years old, but not tonight." "This is one of her crazy games." "It's one of her crazy..." "Is this just a game?" "Are you playing a game with us, darling?" "No, this is not a game!" "It's very important." "I just don't know how to start to say it." "Somebody has to help me out and start it first, that's all." "You got something important to tell us and you want us to start?" "Gert." "No!" "You understand her better than me." "When you figure out what it is, let me know." "Aunt Bella, have you been going to the movies lately?" "Yes!" "Thank you, Jay." "I have been going to the movies a lot lately." " Three times last week." " Really?" "Did you see anything good?" "I saw a picture with William Holden and Jean Arthur." "I liked it." "That's why I saw it three times." "This is what I stayed to dinner for?" "I had to sit in the right seat to listen to this?" "Jean Arthur and William Holden?" "Are they in the picture that you pictured?" "Is that what this is all about?" "Is this about what movies you went to see last week?" "No, I'm getting to it." "Jay, ask me more questions." "Come on." " Did you go alone?" " I did." "I always go alone." "It is interesting you would ask me that, because I met a friend there." "You get to ask me questions, too, Gert." "I don't know what kind of questions to ask you." "Ask her who the friend was." " Who was the friend?" " His name is Johnny." "I always see him there 'cause he's the head usher." "He's really nice." "You just saw him in the theatre?" "No." "Once or twice we went out for coffee, and once we went for a walk in the park." " You went to the park with this guy?" " Yeah, but just to talk." "You have to sit down if you want to ask me questions." "Okay." " Whose turn is it now?" " Is this when you came home from 11:00?" "Yeah, it was." "Thank you for listening, Momma." "What were you doing until 11:00?" "We walked and we talked and we got to know each other." "And he does not want to be an usher forever." "One day he wants to open up his own restaurant." "His own restaurant?" "And he's an usher?" "What is he, 15, 16?" "No." "He's 40." "And he wants to open up the restaurant with me." " Why with you?" " Because I would do all of the cooking." "And I'd write out the menus." "And I'd keep the books." " What would he do?" " He will be the manager." "If he's the manager then why won't he write the menus and keep the books?" "'Cause he has a reading handicap." " What?" " He has a reading handicap." "Wait." "Hold it a minute." "What are you saying?" "He can't read?" "You're not supposed to get out of your chair." "That's not how I pictured it." "Maybe I'm getting my own picture here." "This guy is what, illiterate?" "No!" "He can read a little." "What does that mean, "a little"?" "His name?" "You listen to me." "Either this guy is pulling your leg, or else he's after something." " Is he after something?" " Maybe it's not the time to talk about it." "I think it's the perfect time." "What is this guy after?" "Has he touched you?" "Has he fooled around with you?" "He's not that kind of person." "What kind of person is he?" "He's 40 years old, he takes you to the park at night he wants to open a restaurant with you, and he can't read or write?" "How are you gonna open a restaurant?" "Who's gonna put up the money?" "It would only cost $5,000." "$5,000..." "Why not $5 million?" "Who is gonna put up this $5,000?" "Him?" "I don't think so." "He doesn't have any money!" " Too bad." "Then who does that leave?" " Don't yell at me!" "I'm not yelling at you!" "I'm asking you a question." " Who does that leave to put up the $5,000?" " It's too terrible." "Momma, please." " Who does that leave?" " I would get it somewhere." "Where is somewhere?" "There is no somewhere." "You want Momma to sell the store?" "Is that what he wants?" "He didn't ask me anything!" "Either this guy is very smart, or he's very dangerous." "He don't sound very smart to me, so that only leaves dangerous." "He is not dangerous!" "How do you know?" "They don't take you at the home if you're dangerous." "Oh, my God." "The home?" "I don't understand this." "Could somebody please explain all this to me?" "Honey, this man sounds very troubled." " Is he staying at the home now?" " No." "He lives with his parents." "He didn't like the home." "They weren't very nice to him." "Momma, that's not a nice place over there." "Sweetheart, I don't want you to go to the movies anymore." "I do not want you to see this fella anymore." "He may be very nice, but he sounds like he's got a lot of wacky ideas." "Jay, Arty, you said you would back me up here." "Come on!" "You promised!" "Back you up with what?" "With the restaurant?" "With the money?" " Is that what he is after?" " No, he wants more than that." " What could possibly be more than that?" " Me!" "He wants me!" "He wants to marry me." "I wanna marry him." "I wanna have his children." "I want my own babies." "Jesus Christ!" "Enough!" "I don't want to hear this anymore." "Why?" "You think that I can't have healthy babies?" "Momma, I can." "I am strong as an ox." "I've worked in that store, I've taken care of you since I'm 12." "That's how strong I am." "I'm like steel!" "Isn't that what you say we're supposed to be?" "Only my babies won't die because I will love them and I will take care of them." "My babies will be happy because I will teach them to be happy." "And not to grow up and run away and never visit when they're older." "And not to be so frightened that they couldn't even breathe." "And never, ever to make them spend their lives rubbing my back and legs because you never had anybody around you who loved you enough to want to touch you, because you made it so clear you just didn't want to be touched with love." "You know what it's like to touch steel, Momma?" "It's hard and it's cold, and I don't want that for my babies." "I want it to be soft and warm." "Let me have babies, please." "I gotta love somebody." "I gotta love somebody who will love me back before I die." "And I promise you, you would never have to worry about being alone  'cause you would have us." "Louie, tell her how wonderful that could be!" "Gert, wouldn't that make her happy?" "Wouldn't it?" "Please say yes." "I need you to say yes!" "Please!" "Somebody please hold me." ""Dear Pop:" ""Later that night, something happened that I know you wouldn't approve of." ""But I hope you'll forgive me."" "The bar's closed." "Look at this guy." " Where do you think you're going?" " Harry, it's empty." " Where is he?" "Where's my money?" " What money?" "My goddamn money!" "I don't know what you're talking about." "I found the bag in the house!" "I was running away from home!" "Tell me where he is, or this is where you stop running!" "I don't know." "I swear." "I'll find him." "Then I'll find the money." "And if not, you better pray you don't see me again!" "I'll send your car back in an envelope!" "Thanks, Jay-Jay!" "You got moxie, kid!" "He had two bags!" "The son of a bitch had two bags!" ""I know it was wrong for me to help Uncle Louie get away, Pop..." ""...because maybe he was a crook." ""But after what I saw Grandma do to Aunt Bella tonight..." ""..." "I thought someone in this family should help someone else."" "Where do you think Aunt Bella could be?" "Gone four days, somewhere in the city." "I'm worried." " Maybe Uncle Louie took her." " Lf he didn't take me you think he's gonna take Aunt Bella and her 40-year-old usher from the home?" "Hi, Aunt Gert." "How's Grandma?" "She looks tired." "She wouldn't even let me help in the store." "Any idea where Aunt Bella is?" "She's at my house." "She doesn't want anyone to know." "Is she ever coming back?" "Who knows?" "She's meeting with that man today." "I'm sorry." "It's hard for me to talk." "Isn't there something the doctors can do for that?" "I don't have it that much." "It's mostly when I come here." "I'll call you tonight. 'Bye, honeys." "Hi, Johnny." "I guess you're wondering why you haven't seen me for a few days." "We have a new Bette Davis picture tonight." "I got more things on my mind than Bette Davis." "I haven't been home for four days." "I might never go back." "Henry Fonda's in this one." "Johnny, listen to me, 'cause this is important." "We can open up the restaurant any time you want." "I got the money. $5,000." "I got it right here in my purse." "Mr. Margolies said he might be opening another theatre soon, a bigger one." "Yeah, but you don't wanna be an usher forever." "You told me that!" "You know what?" "I even found a place." "It's right next to a bowling alley." "People get hungry when they bowl." "What?" "You don't want it?" "You're afraid of running a restaurant?" "I told you, I'll do most of it." "Okay." "Listen, an usher is a good job." "Maybe if the theatre is bigger you would make more money." "I have to go." " Why?" " I have to go!" "Why?" "Because of me?" "Is that what your parents want you to do?" "I never got a chance to talk to them." "It's just that it's not a good day today." "It's not a good day for what?" "It's not a good day to open a restaurant?" "It's not a good day to get married?" "It's not a good day to have a baby?" "It's not a good day for any of that?" "Oh, God, stop." "Don't cry, it's all right." "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do." "I promise." "I would never do that to you." "Never." "Hello, Momma." "Brought you a coffee cake from Greenbaum's." "It's still warm." "Are you home for good, or this is a visit?" "I don't know." "I thought I'd come back and talk to you about that." "The way you talked to me the night that you left without a word?" "No, not without a word." "I told you how I felt." " You were the one that walked out on me." " I heard what you had to say." "I don't have to hear more." "Look at me." "Look at me!" "I'm not crying." "And it's not 'cause I'm afraid to cry." "It's 'cause I got no tears left in me." "I feel pretty empty inside, like you feel all the time." "How would you know how I feel?" "You just don't think I know anything, do you?" "You think I'm stupid, don't you?" "No, you're not stupid." "Then what am I?" "Am I crazy?" " You think I'm crazy?" " Don't use that word to me." "Why not?" "Are you afraid of it?" "If that's what I am, don't be afraid to say it!" "'Cause if I'm crazy, I should be in a home." "And then you'd be all alone and you wouldn't like it." "Is that why you don't use that word?" "Is it?" "Is it?" "You want to know what you are?" "You are a child." "That's what the doctors told me." "You are not crazy, not stupid." "A child." "And that's how I treat you, because that's all that you understand." "You don't need doctors." "You don't need to live in a home." "This is where you live, where you can be watched and taken care of." "You will always be a child." "And in this world, where there is so much hate and sickness and death maybe you're better off." "You stay a child and be glad that's what God made you." "Then why did He make me look like a woman and feel like a woman inside?" "And want to have all the things that a woman should have?" "Is that what I'm supposed to thank Him for?" "I know that I get confused sometimes." "I know that I get frightened." "But if I'm a child, why can't I be happy like a child?" "Why can't I just be satisfied with dolls instead of babies?" "I'm not so smart." "I can't answer those things!" "I am." "Maybe I'm just as smart as a child but some children are smarter than grownups." "Some grownups I've seen are very stupid." "And very mean." "You don't have responsibilities." "It's responsibilities that make meanness." "I don't want to be your responsibility!" "Then who would be responsible for you, yourself?" "That man you ran away with who wants money?" "God only knows what else." "Things you would never dream about." "You stay the way you are." "You don't know what such feelings could do to you." "Yes, I do." "I know what other things you're talking about 'cause they happened to me." "They happened because I wanted them to happen." "You're angry, so you tell me lies?" "I don't want to hear these childish lies." "When I was in school I let boys touch me." "And boys that I met in the park." "Some nights when you were sleeping I went downstairs and let them in." "And not just boys." " Men, too." " You stop this!" "You dream this stuff in your head!" "I needed somebody to hold me." "To tell me that I was pretty." "You never once told me that." "Some of them even told me that they loved me." "I know." "I didn't believe them." "I know what they really wanted." "Except Johnny." "And I thought for the first time in my whole life, maybe I could be happy." "That's why I ran away." "I even brought him the $5,000 for the restaurant." "Something else you dream about?" "Where would you get $5,000?" " Where did you get this?" " Does that look like a dream to you?" "Did you steal from me?" "You know where I keep my money." "You're the only one." "You thief." "You steal from your own mother?" "You thief!" "Do it!" "Hit me!" "Crack my head open!" "Make me stupid and crazy!" "That's what you really think I am!" "Isn't it?" "Get out of my house!" "You go live with your thief friend!" "You want the rest of my money?" "Go take it!" "It won't last too long!" "You'll both have to steal again to keep alive, believe me." "I don't want your money." "Here!" "You take that!" "Louie gave that to me." "Maybe he's a thief, too but he is my brother, and he cared enough to want to help." "Thieves and sick little girls, that's what you got." "Only, God did not make us that way!" "You did!" "You!" "We're alive, but that's all we are." "Rose and Aaron are the lucky ones!" "Don't say that." "God, don't say that to me." "I'm sorry." " I didn't mean to hurt you like that." " Yes, you do." "It's my punishment for being alive, for surviving my own children." "For not dying before them, that's my sin." "Go on, take Louie's money." "You think I don't know what he is?" "He's stolen since he was 5 years old the year Aaron died." "And I closed off from him and from everybody." "I lost Rose." "And then I lost Aaron." "I couldn't stand losing no more." "Go on, open your restaurant, live your life, have your babies." "If it's a mistake, let it be your mistake." "If I done wrong by you that's for me to take care of." "There is no restaurant." "He's afraid to be a businessman." "He likes being an usher." "He doesn't want babies." "He doesn't wanna get married." "He wants to live with his parents 'cause he knows that they love him and that's enough for him." "Then maybe he's more lucky than you." "Yeah, maybe." "But I can't stop wanting those things." "And it can't be the same between us anymore." "It can't." "I'm gonna put my things away." "I think we've both said enough for today." "Don't you?" ""Dear Eddie:" "I'm just writing to tell you that Jay and Arty are fine." ""But something's happened to me that I can't figure out yet." ""Lately, I feel so happy and so sad at the same time." ""Did you ever feel that way?" ""I'd tell you more, but I don't have any more room." "Love, Bella."" "No, I'll stay." "Eight months later, we got a card from Pop saying he was coming home to get us." "Then one night, Uncle Louie called Aunt Bella." "He said he didn't know if he could ever come back to Yonkers  but said he was now the richest guy in Guadalcanal." "Grandma didn't say anything  but she didn't come out to dinner that night." "Come here." "There he is." "That's him, it's Pop." "Come on, let's go!" " He's here, Grandma!" "Pop is here!" " No!" "You stop right now!" "You hear me?" " But Pop is here." " You want to say goodbye, say it now." " We're not leaving this minute!" " You come quick, you say goodbye quick." "Yes, Grandma." "I wanted to thank you for taking us in." " I know it wasn't easy for you." " It wasn't." "It wasn't easy for us, either." "You're not afraid to tell the truth." "That's good." "Maybe you learned something here." "Maybe now I get a little rest." "What were you two looking for that night under the ice cream?" "My money, maybe?" " No, I swear!" " Don't swear!" "You lie to me, you lie to everybody." "Yes, Grandma." "It was in the mattress you were sleeping on!" " Come here, you guys!" " Pop!" "Look at you guys!" "Eddie, wait!" "Don't go yet!" "Hey, Bella!" "Come here!" "It's so good to see you, sweetheart!" "You look wonderful!" " Do I?" "I lost 10 pounds!" " It looks great!" "Really?" "'Cause I put it back on a month ago." "Listen, I better go upstairs and see Momma." " You better." " Thank you for everything." "Close your eyes, both of you." "Close them!" "The basketball is for Jay and the football is for Arty." " Do you like them?" " Holy mackerel!" "This is incredible!" "I didn't know if I got the right size, so I took a guess." "Back up." "Let's throw them around!" "But don't throw it too hard!" "As hard as it was coming to live with Grandma  it was twice as hard leaving Aunt Bella." "Because in the 10 months since we came  she lost Johnny and she lost Uncle Louie." "And now she was losing me and Arty." "'Bye, Aunt Bella!" "See you soon!" "I'll get dinner started." "Would you mind eating early tonight?" "I'm going out with a friend." "A girl!" "I got a new girlfriend." "She likes me and I like her." "She also has a brother that I like." "He works in a library." "He can read everything." "Do you think during dinner we could listen to some music on the radio?" "Okay, it doesn't have to be tonight." "Just think about it, okay?" "I wish I could say that while Aunt Bella started dinner  music came on from the living room  but it didn't." "I wish I could say that Grandma went to the cemetery with Bella  to see Aaron's grave on his birthday  but she didn't." "And then one day, early on a Sunday morning  the most unexpected thing happened." "Aunt Bella left home." "She didn't know where she was going or what she was going to do." "People who saw her from the window that day, said she looked a little scared  but she just kept going." "And then, a few months later, we got a postcard from Bella." "She said:" ""Dear Eddie, Jay and Arty:" "In case you're worried, don't be." ""I'm in Florida." "I got a job in a restaurant." ""The important thing is I'm on my own." ""It might be a little late in life to suddenly get born all over again..." ""...but at least I got the walking part over with." ""Love, Bella.""