"Man... and the sea." "Man... and the mother." "Want to make us a baby?" "Not right away." "Oh?" "Love right away, but no baby right away." "Why?" "We must wait." "Wait for what?" "Martin, you want anything?" "Want anything?" "Yes, milk." "Not working today?" "Why not paint my portrait?" "Too real." "How can one be too real?" "You're real or you're not." "No." "You dodge around, make mistakes, kid yourself." "There are manifold degrees of reality, an inﬁnity of different degrees." "Some things are more or less real?" "All things are real, but we're more or less in touch with reality, more or less close to it." "I'm too close to you even to look at you, to see you... whole." "You don't see me whole?" "Never." "So you never wholly love me." "That's why you never say you love me." "What does "love" mean?" "It means something when it's said." "For example, it means we feel like saying it." "Wanting to say a thing you don't know the meaning of means wanting to say nothing." "Maybe, but if you question everything you do or say, you're paralyzed." "You mean me?" "When I speak, it's to say something." "You're mistaken." "Come here." "Don't think screwing solves everything." "You say I do nothing, but when I try to..." "Do Lolla's portrait, you'll see she exists." "I know, but it could be someone else." "Women are all alike?" "Yes, that's why I don't change." "I know one'll be just like the other." "You'll keep seeking the ideal woman, you'll keep switching without seeing that you can create her, only you can create your ideal woman." "Fear of ending an affair is fear of dying." "Only great things end grandly, Heidegger said." "Who?" "Another Martin." "You think we live in quotations, but they're in books and life... — Life is in books." "— Asshole!" "Love was invented by troubadours, it began in books and will end..." "When they vanish." "Could well be." "We may be the last generation to love..." "or to speak of love." "Same thing, according to you." "You're not so blocked." "You understood me." "Don't worry, your Gretchen won't leave you... unless you want it." ""Silent, the moon." "Go out in the evening and see..."" "What should I go see?" "Sleep well?" "Enough?" "I don't care, I'll leave if this goes on, I've had it!" "Lolla doesn't exist for me." "She's just my buddy's girl." "You're wrong about her, too." "I'm just her guy's buddy." "You know all that, so why do you say it?" "Dummy!" "You can't think that." "What do I think of alone all night in the bedroom" "while you're in seventh heaven with her?" "In her, not with her, my love." "Think he'll come back?" "Yeah... in two days." "What if he doesn't?" "Why wouldn't he?" "Like that." "I don't know." "Because he's fed up?" "You're crazy!" "He keeps harping on his love for you." "Harping?" "Boring us." "That doesn't mean anything." "For me, he's always been like a bird, ready to take ﬂight." "Luckily." "If not you wouldn't love him." "Maybe that's what love mainly is, fear of not being loved." "It's lots more things." "Millions more things." "Millions more things." "Love is..." "It's everything you can't say." "Probably." "Don't listen to me." "I'm an old cynic." "What's that?" "What's what?" "What are cynics?" "Cynics were Greeks who were always right." "They're passé now: no one cares about being right." "What's wanted..." "Is what?" "Love—love—love?" "You don't much like me, huh?" "No, not much." "But I'm fond of you." "I don't understand." "I mean I'm glad you're here, because if you weren't, I wouldn't be either." "None of this would be here, and they wouldn't either." "Yet it's paradise, right?" "I wonder when it'll end." "You in a hurry?" "But I'm scared." "Because you're happy?" "If you weren't happy, you wouldn't be scared." "That's about all happiness is, fear of not being happy anymore." "It's lots more things." "Maybe." "Don't listen to me," "I'm an old sinister." "A what?" "A sinister." "They were Greeks who were always right." "Sinister means not cheerful." "I'm not cheerful, that's a fact." "I'm grave." "That's what Gérard says." "How does grave differ from sad?" "Grave doesn't mean sad." "It means that when you're happy you know why." "It can't be!" "It's the story of an old man sitting at a window waiting for his love." "Then he dies, but it doesn't matter." "Very beautiful, isn't it?" "We often spoke of you." "We love you very much." "You're family, so we love you, understand?" "That's life." "He'll be happy later, you'll see." "He'll be a handsome boy, you made him handsome, intelligent." "He's very sweet." "We love him very much." "You'll still be here day after tomorrow?" "And after that?" "I'll always be here." "How do you know?" "I know because I want to." "Thomas, put your jacket on." "It's cold out." "Put on your jacket, come to Grandma." "You don't want to?" "Too bad, you'll be cold." "This is for you." "See you soon, huh?" "So long, Thomas." "Shall we go?" "Why not take Thomas with us?" "He'd be happier." "— Can't be done." "— Why not?" "His granny won't give him back to me." "Really?" "How come?" "She has no right, you're his mother." "No one can keep your child from you." "Yes, they can." "A matter of papers, nationalities." "It's complicated, but that's how it is." "What's nationality got to do with it?" "Stop nagging me." "I'm only trying to understand." "Do you love me?" "How much?" "Very much." "That means nothing." "You can love spaghetti very much." "In French, you only love people very much." "I'm not people." "Right." "I love you madly... like crazy..." "I don't want that." "When you stop being crazy, you'll stop loving me." "Then let's say I love you mortally." "Meaning?" "That I could love you till I die." "That means I love you, will love you, until death," "more than death, beyond death." "You know she sent him for her things?" "Can you believe it?" "You'd never believe the guy she sent." "I mean it!" "In a way, meeting him consoled me." "If you could've seen him!" "Hair down to here, ﬁlthy, in a ponytail, long sideburns, leather jacket, cowboy boots." "Know what he said to me?" ""Yeah, man." I swear." "I'm not lying." ""Yeah, man, I came for her stuff."" "He's probably a biker from a South Side slum, but cool." "See?" "I'm cool, you're cool, she's cool, it's all cool." "Incredible." "Incredible." "The world's collapsing, nothing to hang on to, your guts hanging, people tripping on them, not apologizing." "To top it off, "Yeah, man."" "I can't believe it!" "I swear I still can't believe it." ""Yeah, man."" "It's like I had a hole in me... here." "A bottomless pit... that I walk around with." "All I can think of is:" "don't look inside... don't even glance at it... or you'll fall in." "And you?" "All okay?" "Great." "She didn't send the guy to me." "That's a break." "But I didn't rate a letter, just a phone call." "A quick call." "But cool, too." "You know," ""Love comes and goes, who knows why... but you meant a lot to me, and... let's stay friends."" "Maybe it's better that way, as "Yeah, man" would say." "But you were wrong." "Wrong?" "Three months ago you said women never walk out." "But I speciﬁed, "when they're let down."" "That they leave when we stop loving them." "Right." "They did dump us like turds when we stopped loving them." "Correct." "The only trouble is... we didn't know we'd stopped loving them." "They could've warned us, eased the shock." "They did warn us." "We didn't catch on." "What do you mean?" "Wait two months and you'll see." "No, one month." "You'll see you stopped loving her." "She knew before I did?" "Because she's not a man, she's a woman." "Women are subtle, and they're... fast on the uptake." "A hell of a lot faster." "See you here tomorrow, same time?" "No, I have an appointment." "Later, then?" "I don't know." "I'll try." "Please try." "I really need it bad." "Call me tonight." "If my husband answers, ask to talk to me about the armchair, okay?" "Bye now." "I'm late." "Gérard." "Let's get some coffee." "It's me." "It's you?" "Yes, me." "5 someone there?" "What?" "Nothing." "Doesn't matter." "That all you /72 W to 5.3 y to me?" "You're calling me." "You got something to say?" "How are you?" "I'm ﬁne." "And you?" "Me, too." "Fine." "Good." "Well..." "That's ﬁne if we're both ﬁne." "What's new?" "What's new?" "Nothing." "I'm living." "And you?" "I'm living, too." "That's ﬁne." "Not everyone can say that." "What?" "Nothing." "It's not important." "[an Ira/l you again?" "Sure, why not?" "Then I'll call again." "Then I'll call again." "Kisses." "Big ones." "He's in jail." "You want to live here till he gets out?" "I came to live here till you're tired of me." "For life, then." "For life." "Finished." "There's no paper here." "Why not?" "There's no more." "Come and see." "It's heroin." "What?" "It's heroin." "How's it going?" "What's new?" "Marianne's back." "That so?" "So you're happy." "I'm happy for you." "I don't see you much anymore." "Come and see me when you want." "Okay." "So long." "When?" "I'm with Marianne." "Wait, I'll ask her." "It's Linda." "Can she come by?" "Why not?" "Marianne, this is Linda." "Linda, Marianne." "Hello." "Good evening." "Ask her to come." "What?" "To come sleep with us." "Go and ask her." "She doesn't want to." "She says it's you she wants." "No, stay with me." "You joining us?" "She doesn't want to." "She asked me, but begged me to say no." "Stay, you can go back to her later." "I need you tonight." "Look!" "Bruises." "He beats me." "Bastard!" "Well, if he enjoys it..." "Fuck me now." "I can't." "Okay, that's that." "Be happy." "You got it?" "That all?" "Give me back my dough." "I'm broke." "You paid $1 00 for that?" "It's normal." "Normal!" "That's all you can say!" "Normal!" "I'm going to die and you say it's normal!" "Calm down." "We'll always ﬁnd some." "And the dough?" "Dough, too." "For that we can ﬁnd some." "We always do." "Hear what they said?" "They'll shut off the gas." "Doesn't matter." "And the power." "Doesn't matter." "Can we pay it?" "How much have we got left?" "I don't know." "Anyway, it doesn't matter." "Cut that out!" "We'll starve, freeze and die for a ﬁx in the dark, but it doesn't matter." "So what does matter?" "All that's nothing." "What would matter..." "Is what?" "If we stopped loving each other." "You think love can heat us, light us, feed us and get us high?" "Exactly." "You've just given a precise deﬁnition of love, the most precise I've ever heard." "You really believe that?" "Certainly." "Then you really love me?" "Obviously." "If not you'd have died long ago." "You know, I think you're right." "Do I really love you?" "See for yourself." "How?" "I'm still alive." "You're not so right there." "Just try to... to..." "I don't know... try to stop loving me." "You'll see." "Okay." "Stop." "| feel sick already." "Don't kid around." "|'|| die, you know." "|'|| really die." "What'd you say?" "Nothing." ""Paris, Tuesday, April 15:" "Marianne, I love you." "I'm leaving so you'll react." "| prefer you alive far from me than dead beside me." "I don't want you to doubt that later on." "I'll always love you." "As ever..." "Love." "Gérard."" "She went back to Germany." "Seal the envelope and keep the letter." "If anything happens to me, give it to her." "She mustn't think I'm a bastard." "I said you'd leave." "But you didn't really believe it." "Know what counts in life?" "Music." "Lyrics you can change all you want, music stays the same." "And I know music." "You know you're bored and bitter, exasperated and aging, that's all you know, if I may say so." "What's happening here is important, serious and beautiful." "You can't write it into your music." "Wait a bit." "What for?" "Time." "You'll see." "That's all you can say!" "All you can say!" "You wait." "Meanwhile, I'm going to live." "Bye." "You okay?" "Why not?" "You okay?" "It's not worth discussing." "Coffee?" "I'm a friend of Catherine's." "Want something to eat?" "Wait." "Cheers!" "It's very tender beef." "You can cut it with a fork." "Have a piece." "Did you hear him?" "No, it's nothing." "Here." "— Hello." "— It's me, Marianne." "Can you come?" "I'm 520'." "I'm downstairs." "Who is it?" "Marianne." "She's in the bar... across the street." "You go." "I don't want to see her." "I'll be right there." "You okay?" "Same for me, please." "How'd you get here?" "By train." "By train?" "Along haul." "Wasn't too tough?" "Martin gave me this from you." "I had blood poisoning,you know." "Shit!" "They cured me." "They can treat such things today." "You okay now?" "Yeah, I'm okay." "And you know..." "I'm not on anything anymore." "Except my medicine." "I'm like you now." "Super clean." "That's ﬁne." "Yes, it's ﬁne." "Was your baby a boy or a girl?" "A boy." "Remember your telling me you'd love me forever?" "Why bring that up now?" "Don't you hear how you're talking to me?" "Like I was your grandmother, or..." "I don't know..." "Do I look that old?" "Am I that far out of your life?" "Look, I said it...just to say something." "You're getting in deeper." "Ready to go?" "We'd better get a hotel room." "Aline doesn't want you at the house." "I wish you'd stay with me a while." "I can't." "Go eat and come back later." "I can't." "See you tomorrow." "Sorry to bother you... but I'm worried." "It's Aline." "I was to meet Gerard and he didn't show." "Have you seen him?" "Think so?" "I'm real sorry to bother you, and for this!" "You don't love him anymore?" "I'm glad of that." "Even if I don't know you, it bothered me to..." "We can meet if you like." "We'll try." "Aline phoned." "She's looking for you." "I'll call her." "Your hotel is ﬁlthy." "Yeah, but cheap." "I found roaches in the bed last night." "We'll ﬁnd someplace else." "It might be farther away." "Don't bother to look." "I'm leaving tomorrow." "I didn't picture you like this." "How did you see me?" "More like yourself?" "Maybe." "You know... it's hard to imagine how other people change." "You mean being with someone so different from you?" "Maybe, I don't know." "You can say anything you want." "Yes, maybe that's it." "Until I saw you I didn't realize how much Gérard had changed." "He never talks about you." "Was he happy with you?" "Maybe I didn't make him so happy." "Things were different then." "What do you mean?" "Maybe we didn't need to be happy." "Maybe that wasn't what we wanted." "What did you want?" "To be heroes." "To change our lives, maybe." "Sure." "But now he's not trying to be a hero, or change his life." "He's with someone like me, huh?" "You've been trying all along to be angry with me." "But I won't help you." "I would if it did any good, but it doesn't." "We can't change the past." "Maybe we were very happy." "Maybe we were very unhappy." "Maybe we were heroes, maybe not." "But you'll never know, because we don't know either." "We were what we were, and now we're not." "And that's that." "And that's that." "A great curtain line." "Bye, heroine." "Nice pun." "You said this was on you." "I haven't much money." "No switch there." "No, there isn't." "Hi, Marie." "You okay?" "— How are you?" "—Okay." "This is Gérard." "Have we met?" "Adrienne," "Aline." "Gérard, Adrienne." "Sorry, but I have to run." "The kid." "See you." "She's a friend." "I'm glad you called me." "I'm glad you agreed to have a drink with me." "If we start this way, how'll it be later?" "Later?" "When we screw." "Thought of me since the last time we met?" "Hard?" "What do you mean, "hard"?" "Hard!" "You're disgusting!" "No, it's natural." "And you?" "Me, too." "Hard?" "Soft." "Look who's here." "You okay?" "Fine." "Sorry, I didn't warn you." "Never mind, I understand." "Understand what?" "That you didn't want to warn me." "Sometimes that's how it is." "That's how it is?" "How what is?" "There are things we should do and don't." "That's all." "That's all." "You're right." "It's simple. "That's all."" "You don't ask where I've been?" "Not if you don't want to tell me." "Don't tell me you understand, because..." "I understand." "Go on, hit me if that..." "Stop it." "Goddamn it, shut up!" "Marianne's dead." "How'd it happen?" "She was on a bicycle." "They found her dead at the roadside." "Was she... in an accident?" "She felt sick." "They don't know." "She was in Ibiza." "I know." "They just phoned." "Painting going okay?" "| sell everything I do." "I'm not rolling in it, but I'm not poor either." "Average, let's say." "But it lets me spend all my time painting." "What more do I want?" "Maybe you remember when... we saw each other a lot." "We thought we could open our arms and it would all come:" "Love, fame... happiness, money... talent." "Now I know life is the opposite of that." "You have to keep your arms closed tight:" "life takes everything you don't hang on to." "And you?" "I have a son." "Hey, that's right." "How old is he?" "Six months... and a half." "Well, well..." "Amazing how having a child changes life." "I haven't offered you a drink?" "Coffee, anything?" "Is what I hear true, that you've just lost someone dear to you?" "Maybe." "Maybe?" "Maybe that's what you heard..." "and that it's true..." "But I don't want to talk about it." "Adrienne!" "Your shoes are beautiful." "They hurt." "Next time we'll screw with 'em on." "I think you ought to leave me." "What?" "You heard me." "Don't worry, it'd just be for a while." "60 live with her." "When you've had enough, you'll come back." "I'm suddenly sick of you always being away." "How can you be so sure of yourself?" "I'm sure of you, not myself." "You'd hit bottom when I met you." "I loved you for who you were, not who you might become." "Maybe I'm not too bright, or cultured, but I know a guy never leaves a woman who loves him for who he is." "That's how it is, pal, I'm your old lady, your steady, I'm your weakness." "You can be a bitch at times!" "Only when you need it, to set you straight again." "I'm only staying with you for Ben's sake." "Of course." "But Ben's me, too." "That's how you wanted it." "You didn't want to make a kid any old way." "You wanted to make it with me." "Why?" "To be independent?" "So you can split when you want to?" "Or to be more certain you can't leave me?" "You're gambling." "You know I tell you all this because I love you." "It's for your own good." "You sound like my mother." "That's right, slam it." "Remember to get Ben at the nursery."