"Secure the main sail!" "Put your backs into it!" "No one double-crosses me!" "Throw him in the hold!" "No!" "Please, please, sir!" "No!" "No, please!" "I beg you!" "Ahh!" "Looks like our cargo won't be needin' dinner tonight!" "Ugh." "Ugh, what is it?" "Your guess is as good as mine." "That's it." "I'm not eatin'." "I'm going on a hunger strike." "You gonna eat that?" "Hmm... you know..." "You picked a really bad time to go on a hunger strike with the harvest festival coming up." "All you can eat?" "All weekend long?" "No, thank you." "Don't worry about it, Jason." "Cheiron promised us a new cook, remember?" "That's right." "There she is." "A girl in the academy?" "A babe... who can cook." "Aw, I've died and gone to the Elysian Fields." "No, no, wait!" "No!" "I saw her first!" "You were busy stuffing' your face!" "I'll show you how to stuff your face, come on!" "Guys, guys, guys, guys!" "Listen, are we really gonna fight over a beautiful woman, huh?" "Yes!" "All right then, gentlemen, and I use the term so very loosely, there's only one way to settle this." "Okay." "Through the arch, off the ladder, over the roof, off the well, off the wall, down the steps, nothing but pigpen." "It'll never happen, but good luck." "Whoa!" "Oh!" "Uh, guys, he's out cold." "Somebody get some water, all right?" "Hey, hey." "Nice work, lolaus." "Hey, it wasn't my fault." "That guy stepped right into it." "Listen, you gonna be okay, buddy, you all right?" " Yeah." " Yeah?" "Hey, never mind that, just get him on his feet before Cheiron sees us." "I mean, the last thing we want is old Mr. Pearls of Wisdom." ""Look, you boys look silly with that ball..."" "He's behind me, isn't he?" "Hey." "You all right, Arcus?" "Yeah." "Sure, no problem." "Uh!" "Looks like I've lost a messenger, which means you boys are going to Athens." "Athens?" "What's in Athens?" "Find us a new cook." "Uh, a cook... uh, oh..." "Well, we thought that, you know, uh, well, if Arcus was gonna go find the cook, then, uh, who's she?" "I'm Lilith." "Gentlemen, meet our newest cadet." "What?" "Oh, come on, she's... she's..." "What?" "She's gonna be just fine." "So, you cadets always use messengers for target practice?" "You know?" "There's no need for us all to miss the harvest festival." "Later." "Hey, uh, uh no, I was..." "I was..." "Let's go." "In an age of light and darkness," "Zeus, king of the gods, ruled the universe." "He had a son." "Half-god, half-man." "Young Hercules longs to find his place in the world, the father he's never known, and what it means to be a hero." "Before the man became legend, before the legend became myth, came the greatest adventure of all." "We are missing the entire harvest festival 'cause we're stuck lookin' for a cook." "What?" "Like this is all my fault." "You knocked out the messenger." "Not on purpose." "There's gotta be a decent cook closer than Athens." "Hey, Herc, Zeus must know some pretty decent cooks." "Why don't you just get him to zap one down here?" "Aye!" "I don't even talk to my father, never mind ask him for favors." "It's gonna take a week to walk to Athens and back." "Yeah, well, the shooting contest wasn't my idea." "Hey, what was I supposed to do, huh?" "You two were about to deck each other over our new classmate." "How could we know she was a cadet?" "Yeah, she didn't look like a cadet." "Whoever heard of a girl cadet?" "Yeah, exactly." "Girls are supposed to be sweet and gentle." "Why is that?" "Is that all you can handle?" "That's assuming he can even get a date." "Hey, I got an idea." "Huh, oh, not again." "Look, let's hire a boat." "We'll get to Athens in no time." "And it'll give us a chance to, uh, check out the sights if you catch my drift." "We can't afford a boat." "Who needs money?" "I'll just turn on the old lolaus charm." "The old lolaus charm, huh?" "What?" "We're on a boat, we're headed towards Athens, aren't we?" "By the time we get there, we're gonna be too tired to do anything." "Eh." "How you doin'?" " Good." " You thirsty?" " What?" " Huh?" "That's enough!" "Who died and made you captain?" "The name's Zared." "If you want to stay on board my boat, you'll do your work." "Stay out of my way." "And never get near my cargo." "Whatever." "Friendly guy." "What a freak." " Hey, hey!" " What?" "Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Iolaus, what's your problem?" "I've been thinking." "I wanna know what's in that cargo hold." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, look." "Whoa." "Listen, I know what you're thinkin', lolaus, okay?" "Just forget it." "Aw, come on, Herc." "Aren't you just a little bit curious to find out what's in there?" "Sure he is." "So am I." "But you heard Zared." "Keep your nose out of there." "Jason's right, all right?" "Rules are rules." "Iolaus." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Rules are rules." "Iolaus." "Iolaus!" "Jason." "He's going for the cargo." "Iolaus!" "My cargo!" "Thieves!" "Stop them!" "Oh!" "Iolaus!" "Get the barrel." "I'll get the swords." "We have to get lolaus." "Whoa!" "Lock the hatch!" "Amazons." "What have you Amazons done with Iolaus?" "Ah, not enough, if you ask me." "Iolaus!" "You okay?" "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." "I thought they were supposed to be man-haters." "Yeah, well, they don't hurt good-looking men." "We don't hurt boys, or he'd be in chains already." "My name's Cyane, leader of the Telaquire Amazon nation." "Oh, I'm Hercules." "I'm Jason." "I'm lolaus." "We, uh, we... we met." "Hey, you're the cargo Zared plans to take to Athens." "People should not be cargo." "My sisters and I plan to take over this ship." "You'll either help us or go down with the rest." "Well, kind of sounds like an order to me." "It is." "I'm in charge here." "Oh, well, with all due respect, with those chains around your ankles, you're not much match for Zared's men." "You're gonna need our help." "Okay." "So you can join us." "But if we find that you've deceived us," "I'll feed you to the sharks." "Oh, gee, that's fair." "We gotta find a way to get those chains off." "Yeah, if only we had the key." "Mmm." "Wait a second." "Whoa, hey, whoa, come on!" "No, no, no, relax." "Come on, that tickles!" "Ah." "Oh, right, that's what you wanted." "We'll unlock the Amazons, and we'll attack in the morning." " Morning, huh?" " Yeah." "Well, it looks like someone's got a busy night ahead." "Hi, I'm lolaus." "Three, two, one." "Ooh, feisty!" "I can work with that, grr." "Lights out!" "All lights out!" "Lights out!" "I don't bite." "I know." "I just wanted, uh, to let you go first." "You've never seen an Amazon, before, huh?" "Well..." "No, but I've heard things." "That we're thieves, and murderers, and baby-snatchers." "We hate all men and corrupt all women, right?" "Uh-huh." "Is it true?" "No." "Thousands of years ago, all the men in our village were wiped out in a single battle." "From then on, our ancestors knew that our women needed to be strong." "So, as for men, we just learned to live without them." "What about your male children?" "Oh, they're returned to their fathers." "The girls stay here with us and are raised as Amazons." "Although, I only speak for the Telaquire Amazons..." "My tribe." "There's more of you?" "Yeah, 12 in all." "We were separated during the great war with the Centaurs." "And one day we do hope to reunite." "I've heard Centaurs talk about that war." "You have Centaur friends?" "Well, yeah." "Well, that explains your hatred of the Amazons, then." "Whoa, no, no." "See, I don't hate anybody." "So, you haven't told me how Zared captured you." "He didn't." "We were tricked by a god." "Which god?" "The cruelest of them all, Zeus." "Are you sure?" "Zeus told us to leave our land, and when we refused, he took us by force, turning us over to Zared." "Wait, that's impossible." "That's the truth." "Zeus doesn't harm innocent people." "You're naive, Hercules." "Look, I used to think that the gods of Olympus were fair and just." "Now, I know that they do things out of hatred and spite." "I'm sorry." "These have been difficult days." "It's okay." "I know a little bit about how hard the gods can be." "Sound the morning call!" "Get to work!" "Land ho!" "All right, let's break through the hatch door." "Whoa, listen to me." "Now, you do that, and you'll have all of Zared's men out there waiting for you." "Oh, you got a better idea?" "I think so." "We're gonna need the help of someone sneaky, someone underhanded, somebody conniving." "I'll take that as a compliment." "Oh, we've sprung a leak!" "Oh, help us!" "Help us, we're taking on water!" " Well, go help!" " We're all gonna drown!" "We're all gonna die!" "Gotta do something!" "Quick, open the hold!" "Hold me!" "Oh, no, help us!" "We're sinking!" "Oh, oh!" "It's... oh!" "Oh." "Uh oh." "Okay, anytime, ladies, anytime!" "Ah!" "Iolaus, duck!" "Whoa!" "Behind you!" "Whoa!" "Coming through!" "Fools!" "Get them!" "Use your bows!" "Cyane!" "Yes!" "Yah!" "Yahh!" "If I stop the leader," "I win the war." "Goodbye, Amazon queen." "Nice catch." "It was okay." "Oh!" "Not bad... for a boy." "We did it!" "So, where do you think Zared and his men are now?" "Well, if this wind holds, they should be in Carthage where slave-trading is illegal, I might add." "Hey, Cyane." "We're headed towards Athens." "Uh, you care to join us?" "Nah, thanks, lolaus, but we better be on our way." "Uh, look, I just..." "I want to apologize for doubting you and your friends." "Uh, no, I need to apologize to you." "You know, I was, uh..." "I was wrong about the Amazons, and I was wrong about you." "I hope your new homeland is everything you dream of." "Thank you, Hercules, for helping us win our freedom back." "Hey, Herc... whoa!" "Whoa, sorry." "Anyway, Cyane, maybe when you gals, uh, you know, find your new home, you might wanna look us up." "They're Amazons, lolaus." "They don't look men up." "They conquer them." "Right?" "Well, I thought you liked your women sweet and gentle, lolaus." "Well, you know, Cheiron said you gotta keep your options open." "Yeah, sounds good to me." "Well, we got a new cook to find, right?" " Yep." " Mm." "Yeah." "Hey, you don't suppose one of the Amazons might like the job." "Somehow, lolaus, I don't think they're the cooking kind, you know?" "Hey, you think maybe the Amazons need a cook?" "You can't cook." "They don't know that."