"Please." "Thank you." "– You like this?" "– A lot." "– It's beautiful. – Yes, Yes." "Look, love, it's late." "My uncles are coming." "Come on." "Yes, but what if they don't like me, what will we do?" "– Love, but what do you care?" "– Be... – You are so beautiful!" "You just have to be yourself." "Don't worry." "They are important people." "Maybe a little harsh, but not put off." "They are nice." "Next week I will be working in their company." "I do not want to say or do things that could compromise this wonderful opportunity that they offer." "– You will do nicely." "Trust me." "Will I?" "– Of course." "Listen, what I was saying on the train..." "Yes, I will probably miss Pordenone, But it is a job that I cannot refuse." "Do you realize!" "If all goes well, we will live in Rome." "We will meet wonderful people." "We will have children." "And maybe one day we will have a villa with servants, like my uncles." "Yes, but I have to go to the hairdresser." "I look like a schoolhouse teacher with this hair." "– I should be a little 'more chic." "– It's late." "You have to go now?" "– It'll only take a moment." "I'll be quick." "– I would not make them wait... – Okay." "Hurry though, eh?" "– Okay." "– Goodbye." "– Hurry up, eh." "I'm sorry, the hairdresser is full." "– There is no one else around here?" "– Sure." "You leave the building, go right, second left, Pass under an arch, immediately to the right, there is a bridge." "After the bridge, the first left, straight ahead." "– It is on the right." "– Thank you." "This honey is from the square in Rome, right in the middle." "Two euros!" "But it is good!" "Oh!" "Come on, finish your breakfast." "Thank you." "You have to eat." "Camilla where is it?" "Did you see?" "Do you know why there's all this unemployment?" "Because people are spoiled by the latest technologies." "– What movie?" "– It is too late!" "– Mangia!" "Always late!" "I think the world will end now that all the planet speaks Chinese." "– Who wants your opinion!" "– I'm telling you." "They don't give a damn about anyone or what we think." "– We just have to pay taxes." "– We pay taxes, right." "Look who it is." "Where were you when I was in the elevator stuck for two hours?" "Being young and unmarried..." "Or, at least, one of the two." "– Did you see when she did that?" "– Beautiful!" "– Don't believe it. – Why?" "– The weekend is on his mind." "But when?" "Always." "– If you want my opinion..." "– Again?" "!" "– Can I say something?" "!" "I think... – It was a romantic movie, very interesting." "– I did not understand anything." "It's a most beautiful story of "The King's Speech."" "– It was most beautiful." "– What do you mean?" "– I do not understand." "– What was intended by the author." "– Why?" "!" "– Not at all wanted!" "– The incomprehensibility of life..." "– Let's eat?" "– Do you see that..." "– Yes." "– If I had to vote for an Oscar, I'd have doubts. – But you do not vote... – Who is it?" "Maria!" "– I want to see." "– If I had to vote..." "I can't see who it is, but I think it's Brad Pitt." ""This week we are interviewing Tony Blair,  the winner of Miss Universe, and Johnny Depp."" "Excuse me..." "Excuse me, can you tell me where is this address?" "Er..." "Er..." "Ah, yes... ah, yes..." "Take the first right." "Go a hundred meters." "You will find an ice cream parlor." "Then go straight for 50 meters when there go left." "– Thank you." "– Your welcome." "At the next traffic light crossing..." "There is a seafood restaurant, you cannot go wrong." "It is straight on, turn right, then again 100 meters and turn right again." "– Do you follow me?" "– Yes, yes, thank you." "Thank you. – Your welcome." "– Congratulations. – Yes?" "– I have a super gift for you." "– What gift?" "A special gift for a special man." "– What is this special gift?" "– It's Me!" "I'm already all paid for." "I'm all yours, all yours." "– Look, there must be a mistake." "– You can do whatever you like." "– Ah, yes?" "Please, go away." "– I cannot." "You're upset." "– Who...?" "!" "– They told me that you're stressed and you'd be surprised." "– But you are the lucky winner." "– Winner of what?" "!" "– The winner of the contest." "– But what contest?" "Domi and Fabio have paid me and told me to congratulate you." "That they were wrong and that you need to accept their apologies." "– These two gentlemen I do not know them." "Will you leave?" "– I will not tell." "I am here to fulfill your dreams." "Please, Miss." "Leave!" "But you're Mr. Debroca, room 504." "I'm not Mr. Debroca but the room is right." "– Please, leave now..." "– Is anyone there?" "– Sorry, sorry." "– I told you to wait." "No, it's not like you think." "Have a seat, please." "We were to meet at noon, the door was open... – So you do not enter without knocking!" "– Nice way to meet your wife!" "– This is not my wife." "– No!" "I hope you're joking." "Of course I'm kidding." "She's my wife." "I am Uncle Paul." "Giovanna." "Uncle Sal." "Aunt Rita." "Anna." "– Anna!" "But isn't your name Milly?" "– Milly?" "..." "Milly, of course, Milly." "Anna is the second name." "– Milly!" "– Milly." "We will be waiting downstairs, don't worry." "Come on." "– Paul... – Yes – Yes, yes. – See you later." "I want to die!" "My life is over!" "I am ruined!" "Tell them the truth, that there was a mistake." "But how?" "!" "They've seen us on the bed!" "I am in my underwear..." "They won't understand..." "What they'll think..." "I'll never convince them, it's useless." "They will think I called an escort." "Why did you jump on me?" "I was paid to make love with Mr. Debroca." "– And leave the door open!" "– Yes – Are you an idiot?" "– I thought it was closed." "They're the kind of people who think they are in charge of everything." "Milly's coming." "We have to get out of here." "You have to pretend to be my wife." "I pretend to be your wife?" "I'm no actress." "Plus... –You just called me an "idiot"." "– I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "I need your help because if Milly comes, I'll jump out the window." "– Do you not understand that sooner or later they'll discover everything?" "I need time, then I'll think of something." "It is important that we leave immediately and get away." "What's the matter?" "!" "Are you crazy!" "Go!" "You have the wrong person!" "Sofia!" "Sofia!" "– Sofia!" "Whats happening?" "!" "– What do you want?" "!" "Call the police!" "Go away!" "I am serious!" "I'm going to work!" "I have to go to work!" "These people are crazy!" "– What is this car?" "!" "–You'll be late for the studio." "– But I'm late for work!" "– Get in, Get in." "Sofia... come with me." "Hello and welcome to TG3." "Today we have a special guest:" "Leopoldo Pisanello." "– Welcome, Mr. Pisanello." "Welcome to TG3. – Thank you, yes..." "Excuse me, but why am I here?" "To answer our questions, for our interview." "– What did you have for breakfast?" "– Me?" "Er... coffee latte and two slices of bread with butter and jam." "Two slices of bread..." "And how was it?" "Good... toasted." "– Ah, so you prefer toast." "– Yes, that's right, yes." "Why?" "Can I ask you?" "I don't know." "I just like it." "I usually prefer the toast." "– White or whole wheat?" "– White." "So we can say without a shadow of a doubt Leopold Pisanello prefers two slices of bread toasted." "Yes, and a latte... without sugar." "Do you shave before or after breakfast?" "– Extraordinary!" "– Me?" "Me?" "Still here!" "Enough!" "Go!" "Sofia!" "Sofia!" "Go away!" "Leopoldo!" "You were great!" "– The phone hasn't stopped ringing." "– Yes, but..." "They want you on tomorrow's news at 20:00." "– What are you saying!" "Me?" "But why?" "– You're famous!" "– Mariangela, open the bottle and pour him a drink." "– I'm going to open it." "– Meanwhile you sit down." "– Ok. – Be right back. – Yes" "– You have arrived!" "Well!" "– Hello." "– Taste my specialties." "Please." "(Giancarlo) ♫ The time has fled... ♫" "(Giancarlo) ♫ And I die in despair!" "♫" "♫ And I die in despair!" "♫" "♫ And I've never loved life so much!" "♫" "– What's the name of the hotel?" "– I can't remember." "– It's in the center?" "– Yes, more or less." "It was... was red..." "We're here." "Sorry for the delay." "We have been waiting for you." "Er... yes... uh..." "You couldn't find something more simple?" "We need to meet people rather important." "– We like you dressed like that." "– Like how?" "But some of our friends may not understand." "– I lost my suitcase on the train, – Then that's it." "Oh, well." "Well, we have organized a trip, a private Vatican tour." "– Beautiful." "True love?" "– Yes, I know him well. – Come on, then." "– I hope they let us in." "– I don't want to go in!" "– Miss... are you okay?" "– Yes, yes, thank you." "Thanks, but..." "Oh, but... but... but you are..." "But you are Pia Fusari?" "You recognized me?" "Yes, but you..." "Oh, my God, but you are one of my favorite actresses!" "I'm flattered." "But you walk down the street here like a normal person?" "We're making a movie here." "– You want to come and see?" "– Me?" "!" "Yes!" "But that is Juliet Falcone!" "No!" "There is Luca Jump!" "I love Luke Salta, he is so charismatic!" "No, I do not believe it!" "It's amazing." "He painted the ceiling lying on scaffolding." "Working all the time lying on your back!" "I can't imagine!" "I do, perfectly." "Please sit down, Mr. Pisanello." "– This will be your new office." "– My new office!" "...but I'm not an employee." "Very funny." "Serafina, come." "Look." "We have a famous person in our company." "– Good morning. – Take care of him, Give him everything he needs." "– All day." "– With pleasure. – Thank you." "– You will take care of me all day?" "– Yes" "– Whatever you need, I'm here. – Yes" "Calm down." "– How was your day?" "– My day?" "– Yes" "It's been good." "Oh, I did spill coffee on some documents, but I avoided spilling all of it." "The rest of the day went good." "Did you hear that?" "Mr. Pisanello happened to spill his coffee." "But his reflexes avoided a tragedy with no probable loss of human lives." "Why did he spill the coffee?" "It will be on the news at 21:00, with our distinguished guests the leaders of Italy, the ambassador of Brazil and the UN." "Mr. Pisanello...a statement." "– A statement!" "– Yes, a statement." "– A statement... so?" "– Tell us anything. – So?" "I think..." "I think..." "Ah, maybe it's going to raining." "You heard it." "Pisanello Leopold says it could rain." "Can you tell us how you will sleep tonight?" "Normally I sleep on my back." "Leopoldo Pisanello says he sleeps on his back." "You never sleep on your stomach?" "No, I suffer a bit 'of gastritis." "Not a serious thing... – On my belly I don't like like it that much..." "– How much?" "– Enough!" "Please!" "Stop it!" "– It's important!" "– Enough!" "Enough!" "Go!" "What do you want from me?" "!" "How to sleep..." "What do you think?" "I only have these printed dresses." "I have to buy something now that you're so famous." "Sofia, I'm tired, I have a headache." "Forget it." "I had a terrible day." "Let's not go to the premiere of the film." "But we must go!" "We have to keep up our image." "Sofia, but who cares!" "Do you really think anyone cares if Leopoldo Pisanello doesn't attend the premier of a film?" "– Sure!" "– But Sofia, I am Mr. "Any Fool"." "And you're my wife, the wife of Mr. "Any Fool"." "But you said you'd go." "It's Gina Francone." "Ah!" "It's Tony Branca." "There he is." "Good evening." "Good evening." "But who do I see?" "Here he is!" "Leopoldo Pisanello." "He is accompanied by the lovely Sofia." "Very elegant, with that dress." "Yes, Sofia is wearing a printed cotton dress." "...And a coat that seems to match." "– Yes, definitely. – And I I've never... a ripped stocking." "We're checking." "Yes, it is a rip in the left stocking." "Lady Pisanello, the run in the stocking, tell us, it's desired?" "– I have a run?" "– Yes, very impressive, very fashionable." "Don't we not see it, Martina?" "– Then we will see you soon in Cannes?" "– Absolutely." "– Well, sorry, but there's Gina Franconi." "– Please." "– Mr. Pisanello. – Yes?" "– I am Marisa Raguso,your fan. – Thank you." "I think you are very very sexy, most of all these players "frocetti" Making superhero movies." "– Sure. – It would be nice to have a little more time to talk." "– Let me know what you think of the cultural situation in Italy. – Me?" "Tell you what, I'll give you my phone number." "Call me." "– Your Number?" "– Anytime. – All right." "– Mr. Pisanello, tell us the truth." "Do you wear briefs or boxers?" "– Boxers, large, white." "– I knew it!" "I always knew!" "It's clear, a type of boxer." "It's cool!" "I knew it!" "Bravo, you were fantastic." "Come, let me introduce a fan of yours." "She has seen all your movies." "Milly, right?" "– Yes, Milly." "– Hi. – I'm sorry." "– So you're one of my fans. – Yes" "I have seen all of your films." "– I'm so flattered." "– No, it's true. – Yes?" "– I believe that you are an amazing actor." "When you play an Arab or terrorist or a divorced father... – I always dreamed of being able to meet you." "– Can we have lunch together?" "– What?" "You and I!" "– Eh." "– Together?" "– I only have an hour." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "You are the sexiest man in Rome, second in World Film." "Did you know?" "Yes, that's what they tell me." "– Shall we?" "– Yes" "Thank you." "– Do you want to have many children?" "– No, children?" "No." "You become their slave." "Diapers, schools, diseases... – Then they grow up, they leave, and you never see them anymore. – Not so." "For me it was so." "You see, I ran away from home." "My father was a drug dealer and stole for my mother in stores." "What could I do?" "Was I not right?" "– Look!" "– He's a great actor." "– There is the actor, Luchino Salta." "– Where?" "– Yes, that's him." "But he's married." "Who's that with him?" "What's up?" "What is it?" "I'm fine, I'm fine." "I cannot believe you are here to lunch with me." "But I am the lucky one, you know?" "I usually eat alone now." "No!" "You alone?" "You are married, it is written all over the papers." "Marriage is like wine:" "it is a wonder if it is good, if not..." "We split up." "The press does not know." "It's still a secret." "Of course." "No, I won't say anything." "– What are they doing?" "– He looks into her eyes." "He wants her." "I'd like for you to stop by and watch me on the set this afternoon." "So you can give me some advice, and you can tell me what you think..." "Then, perhaps, we can go to my hotel to talk about it." "Because, you are interested in my ideas?" "– Should I be interested in something else?" "– No, no. – Ah. – No, absolutely" "It's just that Anthony, my husband, always says my head is in the clouds." "This, perhaps, is a bit true, but..." "He doesn't take your ideas seriously?" "No, not seriously, respects them, but they are scientific." "Yes, because I am a high school teacher." "I teach astronomy." "– Who would think?" "– Yes" "So I would doubt you are interested in my ideas for acting." "Astronomy, then the sky, the planets, the stars... – You're... you are..." "Wait, I do not mean – I say nothing." "– Are you the scale (Libra)?" "– No, I'm Sagittarius. – Oh..." "He took her hand." "– She should give him a slap." "– No, actually, I'm sure she likes it." "– Are you hurt?" "– No. ...not." "Good morning." "We are at the home of Mr. Leopoldo Pisanello." "It's half past seven, and Mr. Pisanello is shaving an event that we document from first to last gesture." "Mr. Pisanello is having his hair cut." "– Look, just a trim." "– He opted for only a trim." "Sorry." "We are all full." "There are no tables." "– You must be wrong." "My husband booked yesterday. – There must be a mistake." "– How is this possible?" "– There's no table?" "Okay, we'll come back again." "– No, Mr. Pisanello." "– Please, this way." "– What a shame!" "– What manners!" "– How dare you!" "But we are loyal customers!" "– They are right." "They were in line before us. – Nonsense." "Please, this way." "Come in." "When I saw you in the office I could not resist." "They say that power is an aphrodisiac." "– And who is she?" "– My best friend." "I promised her you'd have sex with her after me." "This will be one of the happiest days of her life." "You know, he's worried because he is married." "Mr. Pisanello, for you rules do not count." "You're special." "What "Pagliacci"?" "!" "What plans?" "What airplane?" "!" "Where do you want to take my husband?" "!" "This is crazy!" "What does he say?" "!" "They already took away your son." "Now he wants to take away you too!" "Star?" "But you cannot sing!" "It's not true!" "He sings only in the shower!" "No, he cannot sing!" "No!" "– Enough, enough..." "– I'll kill him!" "It will make me feel better." "We want to introduce you to some people." "Mr. Massucci, the administrator of your company has organized this festival to welcome you." "It's an opportunity to learn about the top business people in Rome." "He spoke very highly of you and we are eager to meet you." "It would be a nice chance for your wife to make a good impression too. – Oh, sure." "– Don't drink too much, honey." "–I'd better have a coffee." "– Does anybody want a drink?" "– No. – Coffee?" "– No." "Look who it is!" "Here he is, come on, I want to introduce my nephew." "– Good morning!" "Thank you." "Beautiful party." "– Meet Antonio." "Pleasure." "So, here's the famous nephew." "I've heard such great things about you." "You have the perfect image for our community, and image is very important to us." "– Do you follow football?" "– No." "– Is that you?" "– Yes." "– What are you doing here, Anna?" "– Milly!" "My wife... – Hello, how are you?" "– Well, thank you." "– Pleasure. – All mine. – Milly." "– We have to go. – Yes – Sorry." "– Hello." "Coffee?" "Thank you." "Coffee with milk, please." "– Anna!" "– Hello!" "– Milly. – Since when?" "– I'm Milly. – Ok." "– There's my wife." "– Do not worry, do not worry." "– I was just going to call you." "How about Tuesday?" "– Usual hours?" "– Anna!" "– Oh God!" "– Oh, Lady!" "Hello." "I did not expect to meet you here. – I am Milly." "Ah, Milly?" "Anyways, Milly, can you come by my office tomorrow at about three?" "– I don't know, I have plans." "– Okay, I get it." "Well, if you feel like it, come by at about 3:00." "– I recommend wearing the black bra..." "– Yes – The thong... – Yes" "– But do you go sailing?" "– No." "– Hunting?" "– No." "– Anna, how are you?" "– How are you all right!" "– Milly." "Milly, Milly." "I'm so nervous!" "I can't afford to make a fool of myself." "The most important men in Rome are here." "– Yes, the "cream of the cream"." "– It's the whole list of my clients." "– I'm so nervous..." "You're too tense, my friend." "Relax or you'll have a heart attack." "How can I relax when my life is falling apart!" "How does your wife put up with you if you're always so nervous?" "Because she loves me for who I am." "– And who is this...smooching by that actor Luchino... what's his name?" "– Salta." "– What smooching?" "!" "– You know." "You said that they only held hands." "No, there must be an explanation, because for me Milly is like the Madonna." "The explanation is simple:" "He's a movie star, a sex symbol." "And Milly is beautiful and has never looked at another man." "But women don't always know themselves." "Especially those who have a hysterical husband who fears his own shadow." "Why the hell does he have to smooch if he seduces with his eyes?" "You probably couldn't seduce a woman with your eyes." "I want this job, but I look like a small minded idiot." "Your wife was a virgin when you married?" "– None of your business." "– I bet she was, yes." "– We did wild things together." "– What do you mean by "wild things"?" "Having sex with the lights on?" "Believe me, I was not a virgin." "Okay, I was a virgin." "– You need a lesson!" "– By whom?" "Certainly not from you." "And why not?" "Everything is already paid for." "It's free." "– But there are people." "– I don't see anyone." "Smile!" "Smile!" "My God, you cannot!" "my cousin!" "We met by chance." "I have anything to say, nothing." "Come on." "Nothing, nothing!" "Please..." "We met by chance!" "I was waiting for my wife." "Be respectful at least for the procession." "Roberto, I can't take it anymore." "Why me, Roberto?" "– What's going on?" "– Sir, I think you must resign." "– You are very, very famous." "– But why?" "!" "– Look at this, the pills..." "This morning it was full. – Ah. – Mamma Mia!" "– Why am I famous?" "– Why?" "You are famous for being famous." "But I have not done anything, Roberto." "Excuse me, but, as I see it, don't all those who are famous deserve it?" "I don't know!" "You see that!" "You ask for my opinion?" "!" "Everyone asking for my opinion." "I do not know!" "All I do is answer questions." "My life is a living hell!" "A journalist asked me two days ago if there is a God." "I said, "What do I know?" "I do not know," and she was upset." ""Mr. Pisanello doesn't know if there is a God" And I do not know?" "!" "Everyone asks me things..." ""Pisanello"" ""How do you scratch your head?" "With the right or the left?"" ""With both hands." "Oh, he scratches with both!"" "There!" "I scratch my head with whatever hand I think is best." "Okay?" "Some secret!" "– The way I see it, sir, I kind of agree with them." "Being a celebrity, excitement, special privileges The adoring crowds who want an autograph, every woman's dream." "Women!" "But you do not know..." ""I love him!" They kneel!" ""Ah, Pisanello!" "How beautiful!" "He's so beautiful!"" "They all want to be in bed with me... in threes, fours..." "I have enough problems with two..." "The wife of a man of your caliber knows he has to be shared with the public." "It's not normal..." "Don't interrupt me..." "Can't I speak to someone without being interrupted..." "Enough!" "Take me home!" "Enough!" "I'll report you for violation of privacy!" "You are heartless!" "Bravo!" "You're better than I had imagined." "– Why are you so quiet?" "– Because I have committed adultery." "Consider it part of your training." "We did some things I've never done before." "Never." "– Why not?" "– Because of Milly." "She would be upset." "But with me you had no problem." "Is it because I'm a prostitute?" "With you I felt uninhibited." "But now I feel guilty." "Milly would never commit adultery." "She would never betray me." "Maybe she wouldn't mind you learned something." "Some things I can't do with Milly." "She's like a saint." "Yes, like Madonna." "Only where is Saint Milly?" "The virgin Maddona is the one who married her." "– Like this?" "– It's beautiful here!" "– Want a drink?" "– No, thanks, I cannot." "But why not?" "– Here." "– Thank you." "I love the old songs, those of my childhood." "– they are very beautiful." "– when I once danced." "Eh, yes?" "– Eh?" "– You are very good." "– Yes, so are you..." "Ma ... didn't you want to talk?" "– Nostalgia is my weakness." "– Memories are so beautiful." "Did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful?" "It is not true, no." "My husband maybe once but never a movie actor." "Please don't think of me as an actor, I am a human being like everyone else with the same feelings, the same vulnerabilities, the same desires." "I'm sorry,..." "when you kiss those beautiful women in the cinema You seem to me, how should I say..." "A crazy man." "A kiss is just fiction on film." "Yes, I know, but I've always wondered ...I wondered what it would be like kissing Luke Salta." "Now you know." "– That was beautiful!" "– Wonderful?" "– No, no more." "– Wait." "Now we take a nap." "– What?" "A nap?" "Well, at this point I can't go back." "– You're so charming." "– No, no, no, no." "What a mess!" "– I don't see the problem." "– Yes there is a problem." "I would love to make love with you So I could tell my grandchildren something, but I can't commit adultery." "Forget the semantics..." "I love all of you." "My Lady, I do not know what to do." "I do not know what to do." "I love my husband, but I am so curious." "Life is so short, there are certain moments already written in destiny." "– This is one of those moments. – No, wait a moment, please." "I must go to the bathroom." "Don't move." "Do not move from there." "Do not go." "Okay." "Who is that?" "He seems interesting!" "We're on the road with Aldo Romano." "It is true that you are a bus driver?" "What do you want?" "I don't understand?" "– It's true that you bring your clothes to the laundry?" "– Yes, but what do you want?" "– Do you like hamburger?" "– No, I don't like it." "– Is that a stain on the jacket?" "– Yes, it's marinara sauce." "– How did this happen?" "– I have to tell everyone?" "I was eating a plate of rigatoni." "Why does it matter to you?" "– Gabriel, Camilla, Sofia." "– Hello, Dad!" "– Hello!" "– Hello!" "You know it's all over?" "It's back to business as usual." "I'm so happy!" "Now Aldo Romano is all over the news." "To celebrate we go to eat a pizza in Velletri." "I'm buying." "– Who is it?" "– Aldo Romano." "Milly Stay calm, stay calm." "Better to go to bed and have a regret Or just go and have a regret for life?" "What do I do?" "Better remorse, no?" "Better remorse, absolutely." "– Yes, better remorse. – Shut up." "– What?" "– Shut up or I'll kill you." "Now open the door and let's go." "Not a word." "– Are you ready love?" "– Don't even open your mouth." "If you do what I say it will be okay." "– Got it?" "– Yes – Then give me your money and jewelry." "– You know who I am?" "– No, I don't and I don't give a damn." "– Shut up and stop crying." "– Here." "– Give me your wallet." "– But don't get up." "– Give me your watch. – Yes – The watch. – Yes" "Open up." "Open up, I am in charge of hotel security." "Open up, Luke!" "I know you're there." "– My wife!" "That's my wife." "– Your wife?" "– Yes" "– But you said you were separated!" "– Oh, what a fool!" "– I do not want to end up like the other woman in the paper. – I'm finished." "Oh..." "Listen to me." "Let's do this... you're not finished yet." "Let's do this." "Go to the bathroom and hide in the shower." "– I'll put her in bed." "– Yes – Go and shut the door." "– Together. – Yes, good." "– Close." "Go to bed." "Open up!" "– Now sir, explain why you didn't open the door. – Come on." "– Come near the bed." "– Didn't you hear me knocking?" "– What's going on?" "Are you crazy?" "– Did you not hear?" "Didn't I hear what?" "I'm here with my girlfriend and I was..." "He is not the woman's husband?" "– We didn't know!" "– She said it was her husband." "You're all crazy!" "I will sue!" "Please forgive us and please excuse us." "What have you done?" "I do not understand what is happening." "– It was not my fault." "– Leave." "– Look, this was not my fault." "– Madam, be patient!" "– I'm sorry. – I'll call lawyers." "– Sorry." "– Anyway, I..." "– Come, madam." "Thank you." "– It shouldn't have to end like this." "I don't know what happened... – Have a seat, ma'am." "– But..." "– Enough!" "– Thank you." "A million thanks." "– Imagine." "I take my leave now." "In fact, here is the watch." "I'll also give you my ring." "Take it all." "– Thank you." "Really, thanks." "– Thank you." "– Thank you very much." "– Goodbye." "Thank you." "Goodbye." "I can't believe it." "Of course... right, you're really cute." "– What?" "– He's right, you're pretty." "Thank you." "Ma ...you are a thief, right?" "Yes, I'm a thief specializing in hotels." "– But I also do some mugging." "– Oh yeah?" "– Ah." "Exciting." "– You're exciting." "You know I've never made love with a criminal." "– My husband is a businessman very respectable. – Yes?" "– Yes" "You know what they say:" "Opportunity makes you a thief." "We take this opportunity?" "– Sure. – Of course." "– We are in a hotel room." "– We're in bed, you're in your underwear." "– I'm already undressed." "– So. – So what?" "– So, anyway..." "How nice!" "Tonight there's a film preview." "Can we go without the casino and enjoy the film." "We can't be out there posing for journalists." "– Look, we were not invited." "– Ah..." "Then we can stay at home and enjoy the film." "And I no longer have to share you with models, actresses and sexy secretaries." "Ma ..." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "I am Leopoldo Pisanello." "Good morning, ma'am." "This morning I had breakfast I put butter on two slices of bread, and jam." "Then I made lather with the shaving gel." "Because that's how I shave with gel." "I really like the lather." "I am Leopoldo Pisanello." "Good morning." "Want an autograph?" "I Leopoldo Pisanello." "You want it?" "I Leopoldo Pisanello." "Lady!" "I'll give you a scoop:" "I wear boxers." "Do you want to see them?" "Do you want to see the boxers?" "Here they are." "I wear white boxers, large." "Here they are." "It's a scoop!" "Lady!" "I'm Leopoldo Pisanello." "Do you think a trim would be better?" "And she's my wife." "Miss, look." "A tear in her stockings." "The run is fashionable." "It's a "trend"." "Do you want to see Pisanello on one leg only?" "Here it is, on one leg." "E 'scoop exceptional." "This morning I had breakfast..." "Enough paparazzi!" "Enough paparazzi!" "Enough!" "– Excuse me, but I know you. – Yes..." "– Yes, I remember the face." "You are..." "What was your name?" "– I Leopoldo Pisanello. – That's it." "– You want an autograph?" "– Yes, if you want to..." "Tenga." "– I'll give you an autograph. – Please." "– I Leopoldo Pisanello, if you remember. – Thank you. – It's me." "– You see?" "– Yes, let's go home, there are children. – Come on." "Here, here." "Surely he remembers me." "This gentleman was once my driver." "Right?" "– Yes – There. – I told you:" "Life can be cruel and unsatisfying... whether you're famous or poor and unknown." "But, between the two, it is definately better to be." "– Goodbye. – Goodbye." "– Thank you. – Lord. – Goodbye." "Come on." "– You know what he said?" "– Yes, I understand..." "I get it." "– Milly?" "Milly?" "– Where were you?" "I was worried." "– What happened to you?" "– I went to find you." "Then I lost the phone." "I was lost in Rome." "But where were you?" "With my uncles, but I was thinking of you every single minute." "– Did it go well?" "– We're going home." "– Home?" "– Yes, let's go back to Pordenone." "– But we just got here." "– It doesn't matter." "You don't want to meet my uncles and their jerk friends." "I don't want that job." "I want my old job back." "Maybe we won't be rich, but we will have a better life." "– Don't you still want to teach?" "– Yes." "Yes, but... – No "but"." "We'll go back home and have a life A life much better, with children." "And I can..." "I can paint a little." "Okay." "I'm surprised." "I don't know what to tell you." "Don't say anything." "Make love." "– How?" "– Before leaving, we celebrate." "Now I'll teach you something about the stars." "– I will ravage you." "So, don't be surprised." "– Ravage me." "♫ I'll say my lines. ♫" "♫A great show for twenty-three hours. ♫" "♫ Put on your costume... ♫" "♫ ...and your face. ♫" "♫ The people pay and they want to laugh. ♫" "♫And if a Harlequin shall steal your Columbine,... ♫" "♫ ..." "laugh, clown... ♫" "♫ ... and everyone applauds. ♫" "♫ Laugh, clown... ♫" "♫ ...your love is broken. ♫" "♫ Laugh. ♫" "– No!" "– The name!" "– Devil!" "But really... ♫" "♫ (chorus) – What are you doing?" "– To you!" "To you!" "♫" "♫ In the throes of death you will tell!" "♫" "– Help!" "– Edda!" "♫" "♫ Ah, are you?" "So be it!" "♫" "♫ The comedy is over. ♫"