"Yo, fellas, what's up?" "Same ol', same ol'." "I got eight-balls, redi-rocks, jumbos." "I even got starter kits." "Jumbos, two twenties." "Two twenties would be $40." "Can you break this?" "I ain't no cash machine." "You laughing' at me?" "No, brother." "I'm just sayin'...." "You laugh at this?" "Wait!" "Get the shit." "Get the roll." "Motherfucker's so dead." "Dead all over." "Yeah?" "You're dead too." "I tell ya, Grandpa." "This lot was full of used cars this afternoon." "Crime scenes." "Detective Pavletz." "How're you doin', Sarge?" "Hold on." "Okay." ""Black male..." ""..." "D.O.A..." ""...in car..." ""...intersection..." ""..." "Hubbard..." ""...and Leavitt." ""Apparent gunshot victim."" "What's "apparent," Sarge?" ""Huge..." ""...fuckin' bullet holes..." ""...in head..." ""...and chest."" "Good enough." "All right." "Mad Dog." "You're up." "Ass end of the South Side, right?" "No, you got a male dead man in the 14th district." "You'll findit." "Indoors or outdoors?" "In a car." "Yo, Mike." "You're up." "Five more minutes, Ma." "Hey, Mad Dog, you know what I want for Christmas?" "Sixteen vestal virgins." "Fix your collar." "Yeah." "That head-in-the-garbage-can job last night?" "I told the coroner:" ""Just bring a bowling ball bag."" "Mad Dog, I tell you this, 'cause your partneris brain dead." "Get me some Twinkies." "There should be a store open a couple blocks from the scene." "It's 2:00 a.m., you fat fuck." "Twinkies." "And a banana for this monkey." "A green one." "Hey, Mad Dog." "I got some sandwiches over here." "Just your basic dead shitskin." "Nobody's beenin the car, right?" "It's nice and cherry?" "Absolutely." "Brother, you fucked up." "The doer might being the crowd." "Can you get me a group portrait?" "Yeah." "Let's do the street." "From the blood on the window I'd say your victim got whacked here." "And your shooter was sitting in the front passenger seat there." "Got a lot of blooding the door well so the door had to be open at the time." "Maybe he slippedin for a quick sale and the deal went sour, orit was rip-off time and ba-boom." "See the scorch mark over the temple?" "Yeah." "The muzzle was no more than threeinches away." "But you see this?" "Your blow-back shot a good two feet." "So the shooter's arm will be covered with blood." "I can tell you more when we pull him out." "This blow-back, too?" "Where?" "Over there on the window." "No blood on the headrest." "Blow-back don't leap over things." "That's somebody else's." "We got a crowbar somewhere?" "Hey." "It's a doubleheader." "I'll be right back." "You're killin' him, Mad Dog." "Get him some Melba toast." "Mike, do me a favor?" "My name's Wayne." ""Old black magic has meinits spell" ""That old black magic that you weave so well" ""Thoseicy fingers up and down my spine" ""That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine"" "Got any Twinkies?" "No." "How about Melba toast?" "What the hell's Melba toast, right?" "Let's see...." "What's that?" "A dollar." "A dollar?" "Whatis this, a hotel lobby?" "Fifty cents." "Jesus!" "Don't shoot him, please." "Don't shoot!" "There's a crime scene down the block." "You shoot, they'll hear." "You want the money?" "Just takeit." "Go out the back." "You takeit yet?" "Did you takeit yet?" "Jesus Christ." "Shut up!" "You want the money?" "Here." "You smoke?" "What do you smoke?" "Take some cartons here." "You like some candy?" "Do you like candy?" "Give him a fuckin' back rub, too." "I said shut up!" "Go out the back." "You gotta go now." "You gotta go quiet, please." "Call him a cab!" "Get the fuck up!" "Please." "Please." "Do you like Rice-A-Roni?" "How about a nice Diet Sprite?" "They'll hearit." "I swear." "They're right down the block." "You fucker!" "You all right?" "Fuck off." "Call 911." "Say that a police officer needs assistance." "You're a cop?" "Just doit." "Tell 'em where your storeis." "This ain't my store." "It's his store." "Just doit." ""Down and down I go Round and round I go" ""In a spin Lovin' the spin I'min" ""That old black magic called love"" "Wayne." "Jesus." "You okay, Wayne?" "Yeah." "What's up?" "Thanks, Wayne." "Do you want a cup of coffee or something?" "No, I'll go through the roof." "How about a shot of something?" "It'll help you sleep." "I better just flop." "Sweet dreams." "Thanks." "You, too." ""Old black magic has me in its spell" ""Old black magic that you weave so well" ""Those icy fiingers up and down my spine" ""The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine" ""Same old tingle that I feel inside" ""And then that elevator starts its rise" ""Down and down I go" ""Round and around I go" ""Like a leaf caught in a tide" ""I should stay away but what can I do" ""I hear your name and I'm aflame" ""Flame, burnin' desire" ""That only your kiss" ""Put out the fiire"" "That's the first time I've pulled out my gunin 15 years." "And I pissed on myself." "You know why?" "Because you're a sensitive, intelligentindividual." "You ever piss on yourself?" "I'd have walkedin and drilled the red-eyed bastard." "That's just the way I am." "Butif I had anintelligent thought, it would die of loneliness soit all evens out." "You know what I mean?" "Let me tell you somethin'." "Next time that happens, you're that scared the best thingis sex." "You're all adrenalized, you'll go off like a rocket." "Give me a break, will you?" "If I was you last night, I would have called every broad I knew who wasn't related to me by blood." "Wayne." "On me." "No." "Just a pinching here." "Thanks, Tom." "They get the guy?" "They know who heis." "He ain't goin' nowhere." "They never do." "Now here's a guy with one abiding principlein his life." "Mike." "To always refuse to testify on the grounds thatit may tend toincriminate him." "Jesus." "Chivas and milk." "Put that on my tab, Tommy." "You ready?" "Let's go." "No, I'm off tonight." "Really?" "You got somethin' on?" "No, I'll just playit by ear." "That was balls up what you did last night." "Don't kid yourself." "Thanks, Tom." "I'll call you later." "Are you Wayne?" "Who are you?" "Harold." "I was over to your apartment." "You weren't there." "I work for my boss and he asked me to find you toinvite you to this thing tonight." "It's free with this." "The Comic-Cazie Club." "You also get a free drink." "Who's your boss?" "He said not to say, but that you know him and he'd really like to talk to you." "Don't worry." "It's not a bad thing." "It's a good thing." "Whois he, Harold?" "It don't start till about 10:00, 10:30 but I can come by later and pick you upif you want." "No thanks." "I'll pass." "That other cop?" "Your friend?" "He's very sarcastic." "Hold it!" "Don't move!" "Don't even breathe." "Call it in, Fredo." "Now, Fredo." "Hey, I'm the greatest piece of ass in the world." "I'm ballin' this chick." "The planet's fuckin' moving." "Until she said:" ""Honey, that was an earthquake."" "Nice place,isn'tit?" "Give him a coffee and cognac." "Comin' up." "Show her your comp." "Decaf, please." "Right." "Who's your boss?" "That's decaf, right?" "I'm sorry!" "I'm sorry." "Can't you use a clean napkin or somethin'?" "I'm sorry." "Okay?" "No problem." "Takeit with you." "You're wasting time." "Ever notice that all male nightclub singers do this when they come out?" ""Everything's gonna be okay" ""As soon as I get my neck fiixed"" "Moving right along." "And now from Melrose Park, the land of razor-cut hair l.D. bracelets and velour car interiors the comedy stylings of Frank Milo, ladies and gentlemen." "Dig it." "Yo, Frankie!" "Cosa Nostra." ""Our Thing."" ""Our Thing, " my ass." ""Cosa Nostra" is Italian for "cheap bastards."" "The only thing cheaper than a hood is a cop." "Cops." "Forget about it." "They squeeze the nickel till the buffalo shits." "Cosa Nostra babies." "Other babies, they're born, they cry, they go: "Wa-wa."" "Our kids, they cry." "They go:" ""Wha?"" "My friend, Angie." "Angie's father was on his deathbed." "He calls his sons to him and says:" ""Put $100 in my coffiin each year..." ""...in case, you know, you can take it with you."" "The guy dies." "Angie's two brothers put in their yard each." "Angie drops in a check for $300 and takes out the cash." "That fuckin' Angie!" "When did Angie's father die?" "Hey." "There he is." "They taking' care of you tonight?" "Yeah, thanks." "Don't let 'em schlong you on tips." "I told my therapist about you." "About what happened." "And she said that I was a real suicidal asshole, and that in fact, I was probably very scared and was just resorting to macho bullshit like I'm programmed to." "And that what you did was very brave and compassionate and that I should both apologize to you and thank you." "Hey, Frank." "Isn't that Phil Donahue?" "Put the magazine down before you hurt yourself, okay, Harold?" "Are you married?" "Not personally, no." "Me neither." "Are you really connected?" "I know guys." "Guys know me." "I put money on the street, people know to pay me back on time as a rule." "They call me "Frank, The Money Store."" "You hear of me?" "No." "I suppose that's good." "But my therapist says I crave recognition more than actual accomplishment." "Maybe that's why I do stand-up." "What the hell?" "I own the club." "What do you think of my act?" "I heard two Buddy Hackett jokes, a Pat Cooper and a half a Lenny Bruce." "Another thing." "You know, I was watching you lash out at people." "Sometimes you should aiming." "Make a joke at your own expense." "Otherwiseit looks kind of likeit..." "That's Phil fuckin' Donahue." "Let the body heat coming up through your hand warm up the cognac." "Giveit a little swirl." "All right, take a little sniff." "Nice, right?" "Okay, take a sip." "But holdit." "Don't gulpit." "Just letit leak back down your throat." "I know how to drink cognac." "Okay." "Hello." "Not now." "Cheers." "My wife thinks fucking and cooking are two citiesin China." "I thought you said you weren't married." "Where'd you hear that?" "I just made that up." "Bullshit." "Go ahead, useit." "Don't ever fuck with me." "Don't ever lie to me disrespect me, underestimate me." "If you do, your life becomes a raging sea." "But come to me like a man with your eyes open, head up, hand out then I become more than a friend, more than a shoulder." "I become the expediter of your dreams." "That's beautiful." "Get the hellin the car, Wayne." "Whatifit rains?" "I wish I was a handsome man." "What?" "I wish I was brave." "I wish I was...." "I wish I had real guts." "Wayne, you wish you were a brave, handsome man?" "No offense, but that sounds a littleimmature." "Sure, I wish a lot of things, but...." "You don't know." "Nobody...." "You don't know." "You don't always talk to other guys like this, do you?" "What'd I say?" "Nothin'." "What'd I say?" "Nothin'." "You're really good, man." "I wish I was a real photographer." "I don't mean police work." "I don't mean weddings." "I mean" "You mean like an artist." "I get this feeling." "Me and you we both wanna be someplace else." "Know what I mean?" "Not me." "Okay." "Not you." "This guy looks like William Holden." "I went to see this group show with photographers and I hitit off with a ladyin the show." "I met all her friendsin the lofts and all." "Then I showed her my stuff, and this guy says to me:" ""What do you think about being an artist?"" "I said: "Yeah, sure, but the only thingis..." ""...there's no pension, there's no security, there's no major medical."" "Nobody laughed." "But as soon as I saidit, you know what I thought? "I'm just a cop."" "I'm a real civil servant." "That's the way I think, like a civil servant." "But these people, they're artists." "They're special." "They take chances." "Chances." "You're a fuckin' policeman." "What kind of chances do you think they're takin'?" "That the goddamn sushi might be tainted?" "No!" "Look,it's different." "Look." "Either you understand what I'm sayin' or you don't." "Are you mad at me?" "I'm on your side." "No, look." "Even she saidit." "My stuff comes out of the job." "The jobis the truth ofit." "The all ofit." "I don't create stuff." "I find stuff." "Anyway, she was pretty nice aboutit." "A nice person." "I liked her." "She was nice." "She sounds like a bitch." "Hey, Frank." "Bobby Gee." "Yeah, so I noticed." "He looks good." "If you know what I mean." "Wayne, I'm gonna go home." "Wait a second." "My wife they should cross her with a Macintosh PC." "Get a computer that never goes down." "Thisis good." "That's a nasty burn." "I'll have someone take care ofit." "No,it doesn't even hurt." "Hey, the shooter?" "I know who heis." "The net's closing." ""The net's closing"?" "I like that. "The net's closing."" "I'm the expediter of your dreams, pal." "No, not me, brother." "I'm flush." "You're "flush"? "The net's closing"?" "Hi?" "Yeah." "My nameis Glory." "I'm the one who spilled the coffee on you last night?" "Yeah, the bartender." "Yeah." "Frank told me to come by and take care of your hand." "Frank from last night?" "He told you to do that?" "Can I your hand?" "Thanks." "Thisis really stupid, I know." "Whatever." "Thanks." "Frank wanted me to stay." "Here." "Make sureit heals properly." "Change the bandage and all." "Change the bandage?" "Whatever." "I'll run down, get more ointment." "Oh, yeah?" "How long did Frank...." "How long did heimagine this would be?" "A week." "Frank said a week." "Look,it's not what you think." "It's not a sex thing." "Jesus." "Just let me sit down." "Please?" "How's the coffee?" "It's so rich." "I can't believeit'sinstant." "How's your hand?" "Great." "You know I'm a cop, right?" "So I've been told." "Anyways, I have to go to work now." "So, I'll stay here?" "Thisis my house, so...." "I'm not gonna steal anything." "Look, what's Frank's phone number?" "Talk to me before you talk to Frank, okay?" "Look, you saved his life." "He wants me to be your friend for a week." "That's all, I swear." "I'm like a thank-you present." "I'm like a seven-day singing telegram." "I'm like one of those people that comes to your door in a gorilla suit with balloons." "Stop." "Look, I gotta get outta here." "I work straight through the night." "I come back at 6:00, 6:30, 7:00 a.m." "No problem." "There's a TV." "Great." "Thanks." "Refrigerator'sin the kitchen." "And outsideis downstairs." "Yeah,if you have a key." "Look, I'm really sorry about this." "We'll straighten everything out when I come back." "Absolutely." "Jimmy, come take a look at this." "Over there right now." "Are you awake, fellas?" "The net of justice closesin." "Oh, Jesus." "That's my shooter." "That was your fault, baby!" "My fault?" "Why is it my fault?" "Because you are really into pressing that red button!" "No, I'm not." "You like that shit, huh?" "l'm trying to make you something nice." "Make me somethin' nice?" "l'm sorry, okay?" ""Sorry" goddamn don't get it!" "Sorry is for shits!" "Sorry is what that fuckin' meal is!" "I would have cleaned for you but I couldn't find any dirt." "It's time to go." "Come on, get up." "Why?" "Hey!" "Why?" "Because you people got me surrounded, that's why." "So here's your bag." "Come on." "What are you talkin' about?" "Frank maybe killed somebody last night." "Frank?" "If Frank wasinvolvedin something, he's notinvolved." "He's a million miles away." "I'll tell you about "involved."" "I buddy up to a guy one night, he maybe kills someone the next." "It comes out I got drunk with the shooter, I got his girlin my house." "Thatisinvolved." "I swear I don't know what you're talking about." "Good-bye." "Let's go." "Come on." "You don't understand!" "There's a penalty system here." "For who?" "Me?" "No, for me." "You send me back, I'll beinto him forever." "Why?" "You owe him?" "I don't know what happened last night." "I don't getinvolved with Frank's mess." "But you owe him?" "It's complicated." "Complicated?" "Complicated, like how?" "Complicated, like how?" "Talk to me." "Thisis my house." "Complicated, like how?" ""If there's a cash-flow problem, I'll takeitin trade." He ever say that?" "My brother had the cash-flow problem, and I'm the trade." "I do what Frank wants until my brother'sin the clear." "You do whatever Frank wants like what?" "He said to be your friend for a week." "You saved his life!" "That's all I know!" "You send me back, he'll tell me I screwed up add two months, six months." "With Frank, you can't argue." "You can't fight." "You can't hide." "So can you help me out here?" "Can I stay?" "Why are you bangin' on my door?" "You're makin' a lot of noise." "What's goin' on?" "Are you the sheriff?" "I wanna see Lee." "Fuck off." "You okay?" "I'll snapit off at the ankle." "It's okay." "Are you sure?" "Move your foot, shit bird." "I'm a police officer." "Wayne, we were just arguingin here." "Everything's okay." "You're a police officer." "Really?" "Yeah." "Guess what?" "I'm on to you!" "What can you do, you know?" "At least you gaveit a shot." "Yeah, you know, whatever." "Do you want me to make you some tea?" "No, thanks." "Frank." "It's going great." "Frank, I swear." "We haven't stopped laughing since I camein the door." "He's tickled pink." "No, he can't come to the phone right now." "He's out." "At work." "Frank, that's none of your business." "I have to...." "I'll call you back." "Gotta go." "Phone's ringing." "The other phone, okay?" "Hi." "Did I wake you?" "No." "So, you gave walking toursin school?" "What'd you study, history, real estate?" "Acting." "Like everybody and his cousin." "I gave tours to make the rent, but then I gotinto tending bar becauseit paid better." "Opened up my days for more classes, auditions." "You ask a bartender or waiter around here: "What do you do?"" "They say: "I'm an actor," "I'm a singer," "I'm a student," "I'm a writer."" "After a couple of years, you have to be honest with yourself." "I'm a bartender, waiter waitress." "Lifeis what happens to you while you're waitin' for your ship to comein." "Cops are luckyin that way." "It's hard confusing a cop with anything else." "I mean, a cop's a cop." "The end." "I was working as a bartender in a club Frank owned." "I knew Frank put money on the street." "So I put my brother together with Frank." "Going to Frankis like taking heroin to cure an alcohol problem, you know?" "My brother can't make his payments." "Frank starts taking over." "He fires everybody, putsin his own people." "He orders through the corporation." "Steaks, liquor, kitchen equipment." "All to re-sell on his own 'cause he's a silent partner, right?" "He's not liable anyhow." "Next thing I know, my brother slit his wrists and his wife's ready to run away with his kids." "So I go to Frank and say:" ""Leave my brother alone." ""I'll do anything you want."" "Anyways my brother's a waiter now." "At least he's alive and sort ofintact." "So what do you do for him?" "This, that, the other." "Like what?" "What's the difference?" "Okay, here you are." "Thank you." "Could you smile a little?" "Hold my hand or something?" "Go home." "Home?" "Just take the keys, and I'll be there soon." "Listen, I'm a cop, and I don't like to be followed and I don't like her bein' followed." "Frank just wants to make sure that you're happy." "Are you happy?" "I get paid either way." "Tom." "I said go home." "I wanted to wait for you." "Okay, let's go." "Can I tell you something?" "I gotta go." "Give me five minutes." "Go ahead." "I'll be there." "They found the gun that did your shooter." "Where?" "On some other dead mutt." "Bullshit." "He got taken out by Frank Milo." "He probably did this guy, too." "Left the gun with the body soit looks like a solve." "It's a solve and nobody gives a shit." "Two dead muttsin Muttland." "5:00." "Time to go home." "It's a plant." "Who was the babe?" "A friend." "Yeah?" "What happened to the girl next door?" "Lee." "She's a nice lady." "This one's a little too fast for you, no?" "You okay?" "What's the matter?" "Nothin'." "Hey, that's the one." "Jesus, look at that shiner." "Looks like that dog on The Little Rascals." "Who wasit, Petey?" "She's getting smacked around." "By him?" "I had a talk with him." "The guy's on the job." "He's on the job?" "So fuckin' what?" "You had a talk with him?" "And?" "He's an asshole." "Oh, yeah?" "Hold this, please." "How're you doin', Sis?" "Thisis my sister." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "What, did you walkinto a door, Sis?" "Did she walkinto a door?" "You're not fuckin' hittin' her, are you?" "It's okay." "Whatis your fucking problem?" "Tommy, I need your towel." "Slip your piece under the towel." "Tommy will holdit for you till after." "Come on, you fuckin' hump." "Come on, you hero." "I want a taste of you." "Let's go." "I got no beef with you." "Slip your piece under the towel." "I got no beef with you." "Are you sweet?" "ls that your problem?" "Come on, I'm on the job." "You ain't on my fuckin' job." "Hey, come on." "You lost her address, her phone number." "Can't even remember what she looks like." "Right?" "Yeah, right." "What's her name?" "I don't know, okay?" "Don't even turn around to say good-bye." "Hey." "Chivas and milk." "I never forget a neck." "You should try that shit with me sometime." "Yeah?" "Different strokes for different folks." "No guts, no glory, right?" "Smoke, smoke." "What?" "You mean pot, crack?" "Get smart with me and I'll bust a capin your ass." "You wanna do Dodge City with me?" "You crazy?" "Crazy?" "I'm a fuckin' mad dog!" "Oh, Jesus." "Frank, you're making him strong again." "Where were you?" "What do you do for him?" "Who, Frank?" "Frank." "I tend bar." "Tend bar." "What else?" "Deliver things." "What things?" "Some pretty weird shit." "Like what?" "Once I took this box up to a guyin Detroit." "I took the Greyhound." "So I'm sitting on the bus six hours, wondering." "I gointo the bathroomin the back." "I open the box, lookinside." "There was a human handing there with manicured nails and a wedding band." "I almost died." "I get up to Detroit." "I deliverit to a guyin a bowling alley." "This guy, he opens the box, looksinside and he gives me a tip like I was delivering take-out." "You sleep with him?" "With Frank?" "I don't think he has sex." "He make you sleep with anybody else?" "No." "He's got girls for that." ""The Frank Milo Dancers," he calls them." "So you never had to sleep with anybody else." "One time, the guy from the bowling alley he cameinto town, asked for me, and Frank said I had to go out with him, but what happened was up to me." "What happened was he was a lot physically stronger than me, so...." "I survived." "Oh, Jesus." "She survived." "What about me?" "Whatif I get horny?" "You're a thank-you present, right?" "Whyis the worst a guy canimagine happening to a woman is she fucks another guy?" "That's not what I'm drivin' at." "What are you drivin' at?" "I don't know." "So there." "I do what I can for people, but I'm no warrior, I'm no hero." "Sorry." "I'm not asking you to save me, Wayne." "So, you need to be saved, right?" "Tell me." "You need to be saved, right?" "For the next five days, let's just pretend we're your basic, normal couple." "Normal." "Watch TV." "TV." "Right." "Frank!" "Stop it!" "Stop the machine!" "Don't pull that switch!" "Could you put your arm around me?" "Where's Varsdic?" "He said he'd blow up the dam." "If you don't wanna do anything, that's okay." "I'll go with that." "Okay, I don't wanna do anything." "Good." "That's okay." "You're a sweet man, you know that?" "No kiddin'." "If you don't wanna doit it's okay." "Open your lips." "I know how to kiss." "You know, I should do some sit-ups." "Right now?" "No, I meaning general." "Are you my hero?" "Are you my man?" "You're a sweet man." "Watch out for next time." "Fair enough." "I haven't made lovein two years." ""Made love." I like that." "You talk like someone out of the Round Table days." "Sir Lancelot." "Galahad." "The thing about photographing death there's no dignityin death." "The body can't defenditself." "Can't pullits skirt down." "Can't closeits mouth." "Cops are walkin' around the crime scene, everything's a joke." "What you're photographing on the job is the worst kind of helplessness." "You know why I became a cop?" "My father, his whole life, was a sales clerking a hat store." "A realinvisible man." "Spent his whole life takin' shit from people." "I was afraid I'd end up like him." "I panicked and became a policeman." "Kinda overreacted, you know?" "It's so quiet." "I can't believe I'm here with you." "One time, about 3:00 a.m., I was right here lookin' down this street." "I'm lookin' right down, swear to God." "You know what I see?" "A goddamn deeris standing there at thatintersection down there." "I couldn't believeit." "I almost had a heart attack." "I don't know whereit came from." "Maybeit swam from Indiana, escaped from the zoo but thereit was, this deer." "Me and this deer at 3:00 a.m." "Let me show you that photo of the deer." "Would you photograph me?" "No, you don't want that." "With the people I photograph it would be bad luck." "Come on." "No way." "Sorry." "Come on." "No,it would freak me out." "Where the hell did I putit?" "Wayne." "All right." "Smile for the birdie." "Do me." "It's so weird, you wearing a gun to work every day." "I keep forgetting, you know." "Hey, no guts, no glory." "You see?" "I told you, Wayne." "This food can kill you." "Waiter says guy walksin, comes up bop, bop, back of the head, walks right out." "Gangland, USA." "Gino Coraldi was sitting down to some calamari." "He'd just stolen the account books of Alphonse "The Wolf" Lupo." "He felt like celebrating." "Louis Prima!" "The best!" "What do you thinkis the motive here?" ""When the end comes I know they'll say just a gigolo" ""Life goes on without me 'cause" ""I ain't got nobody"" "Did you get laid last night?" "I don't get laid." "I make love." "Thank you." "Hi, White." "Hey, Mike." "I swear to God,it's true." "Then my friend, Phil." "He applies to the police department." "Interviewer says: "Mr. Scarangelo, what's your height?"" "Philly reads off his palm:" ""Six foot, threeinches."" "Guy says: "What's your weight?"" ""203 pounds."" "Guy says: "And can you tell me your first name?"" "Philly goes:" ""Philly."" "Theinterviewer says: "What was that you did with your head like that?"" "Philly goes:" ""Happy birthday to you"" "That's nothin'." "I said to my wife:" ""Did you ever hear of cleaning, cooking?"" "She says: "Two citiesin China?"" "My wife said this!" "Hey!" "There heis!" "I just come by." "I wentin on a bakery." "Pineapple-sour cream." "Eat." "You look drawn." "What are you doing here?" "I don't know." "Harold said you didn't seem so happy the other day." "I wasin the neighborhood, so I thought I'd checking with you." "So how'sit goin'?" "How's that burn on your hand?" "Doing fine." "Nice-nice?" "Fine." "The gift that keeps on givin'." "What's wrong?" "Wayne." "She's yanking' your chain, right?" "Messin' with your head?" "Sure." "Look at you." "Givin' you sob stories, I bet." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Then quit givin' me that look, Ma." "I'm your sonny boy." "Want me to sing for you?" "May I?" "I gotta go." "I'm doing Comic-Cazie tomorrow." "You should come." "Unless you're busy." "What the fuckis he doin' here?" "I don't know." "That's the guy I told you about." "Fuck you." "And who are you?" "Thisis Frank." "Frank Milo?" "You've heard of me?" "Yeah." "Wayne says you killed that mutt we found in the garbage can the other night." "I thought you'd heard of mein the clubs." "You know, comic circles." "No, just scumbag circles." "Sorry." "Jesus Christ." "Wayne,is this what's troublin' you?" "I'm kinda jammed up here, Frank." "I thought we were friends." "No." "Two guys who wished they were someplace else." "Whatever." "All right, I'll come by let's see, tonight's Thursday." "I'll come by, pick her up Monday." "Okay?" "Monday morning." "See you, Ma." "Andincidentally I don't know what you're talkin' about." "A guyin a garbage pail, but most of the people I know who don't dieing bed they usually wind up killing themselves." "Pick who up Monday?" "What's up, man?" "I don't know." "Hello?" "What are you trying to pull now?" "Frank, hi." "I want you out of there by Monday." "No more head trips on this chump or you will be the one with the problem." "He's not a chump, okay?" "I told you I was doin' you a big favor with this." "I hateit when people take advantage of my favors." "Taking advantage?" "Come on, Frank." "And then I'm gonna do you one more big favor." "And this'll be about the last thing you do for me." "It's for a friend of a friend from Detroit." "Thanks, Frank." "I'll be there." "Whatever happensis up to me." "Where have I heard that before?" "I'm not...." "I'm not giving you lip." "I'm sorry." "When have I not been good company?" "Hi." "What?" "You got a date from Detroit comin' up?" "It's not till next week." "We still have three fun-filled days and nights here." "Let's make the most ofit, okay?" "You're not goin' back to him." "It's not the end of the world." "Yeah,itis." "I love you." "There's nothing you can do aboutit." "What can you do aboutit?" "I said I love you." "I don't want another one of those." "It wasn't her fault." "Hey." "Your pal, what's his name, Frank?" "He sentit over." "I saved two piecesin the fridge for you." "Yeah, whatis he, a baker?" "He's killin' me with this crap." "Jesus!" "Are you doing anything urgent on Monday?" "What time?" ""One floor below me." "You don't even know me." "I love you" ""On the ceilingif you want me" ""If the answeris no" ""Means you'll meet mein the hallway" ""Twice on the pipe" ""Means you ain't gonna show"" "Occifer, what's the word?" "Nothin' much." "She coming' down?" "Where's she gonna fit?" "Looks like a full boat." "She can sit on my lap." "She coming' down?" "You wouldn't believe what happened this week." "It's crazy, man." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "Listen, I'm serious." "We'rein love." "And I think we're gonna live together." "Maybe even get married." "Who knows?" "I'm serious." "I swear to God." "That's life, you know?" ""That's life." Fuckin' Wayne." "You give him a hand, he takes the whole arm." "Bring her down, Wayne." "I love her." "You love her." "I own her!" "I knewit, I knewit!" "Didn't I callit right on the nose when I saw youin the office?" "You're a schmuckif you don't think she's playing you like a violin right now." "Women." "Fuckin' women." "You can't live with 'em." "You can't kill 'em." "Okay,if you want you can assume the debt." "Assume the debt?" "Yeah." "Be my friend." "For what, I don't exactly know." "You're a cop." "Maybe something', maybe nothin'." "You want me to forget about her, for the next year if I call you, you have to pick up the phone." "That I can live with." "I can't do that." "Then send her down." "I can't do that either." "Harold." "Hello." "How're you doin'?" "Good." "And you?" "I'm good." "Are you heeled?" "Did they ever catch the guy who did the shitheadin the garbage can?" ""She don't love you" ""Like I love you"" "Watch the glass door, asshole!" "Who's up there, Wayne?" "I love her." "Jesus Christ." "Come on." "Let's go see." "You always get someone else to fight your fights for you?" "Who am I to talk, right?" "You okay, Harold?" "Since wild horses couldn't get you to tell me where sheis...." "Stop meif I'm wrong." "Thisis the best I can do for you." "Now, the cash value of her services to me projected over one year would be 70 $75,000." "You wanna buy her?" "$75,000?" "The Money Storeis gonna run a founder's day sale." "$50,000." "No." "You saved my life." "You can have her for $40,000." "$40,000?" "If you don't haveit, you can borrowit from me." "You can pay me back with a personal services contract." "Fuck you." "Fuck me?" "Okay." "Fuck me then." "Go to your credit union, go to your bank go to Household Finance, go to your mother." "You got three days." "I want $40,000, or I want Glory." "This shit today, Wayne?" "This was fuckin' Romper Room." "You like baseball?" "You get this straight with me, I'll take you to some Sox games." "I got a season's box." "$40,000in three, chief." "That guy bites." "It's over." "Wait a minute." "He backed off?" "He's history." "I owe you one." "I owe you ten." "What the hell's goin' on?" "Nothin'." "It's complicated." "Welcome to the world." "Mike, he's a businessman." "He wants to staying business." "He's fightin' with cops." "There's no percentagein that." "That'sit." "Thanks, man." "So, I'm really out of here?" "Out of here?" "You know what I mean." "Am I free?" "I can hop on a plane and vanish?" "If that's what you wanted to do." "No, I'm just sayin'." "Hypothetically." "In a few days you can go to the moon and take cooking classes, for all Frank cares." "In a few days?" "Why not now?" "He asked me to ask you to sit tight a few days..." "...so he can take care of loose ends." "Loose ends?" "You know, he said he had to get coverage for that guy from Detroit." "It's a steal." "The guy said $40,000 on his desk by Wednesday." "He'll sell for $65,000 with a personal mortgage between us for the rest." "The guy's desperate." "The house must be worth at least $100,000." "I just have to make the $40,000." "Lake Zurich." "What the hell you gonna do up there?" "Nothing." "I'll flipit." "Lend me $5,000, I'll give you back $7,000 when I flipit." "I don't haveit." "Don't you even wanna know whatit's for?" "No." "It's for this real dream house upin Lake Zurich." "How much does he want for her?" "More than I got." "You gonna help me or not?" "He ain't gettin' my money." "Sorry." "How much am I goin' for?" "$40,000." "That all?" "Knocked down from $75,000." "Must be out of season." "Where'd you getit?" "Doesn't matter." "I could only get $27,500." "You think he'll come down more?" "Jesus Christ." "I just thought of somethin'." "This thing comes off, people say to you:" ""Where'd you get the blond?"" "Say: "From The Money Store, marked down from $70,000 to $27,500."" "No, I'd never say that." "I'm going home, Wayne." "Tell Frank to pick me up at home." "I just spent a year being somebody's property." "Now you're gonna buy me?" "No, I'm asking you." "Stay with me." "Frank kept you, not me." "I'm not him." "I'm asking you." "If you wanna get some air, it's okay, I understand." "I'm not stopping you." "It's okay." "I can't go through with this." "Save your money." "Takeit." "Takeit." "Don't be a stranger." "I got a sense of déjá vu." "Me, too." "You got the money?" "Nope." "Right." "Now I gotta get my big fuckin' ape to go up and get her?" "Maybe she's there, maybe she's not, right?" "Guess what." "I'm not even gonna deal with that right now." "I told you once before don't ever disrespect me." "Don't ever underestimate me." "If you do, your life becomes a raging sea." "Getin the car." "Getin the car." "What are you doing?" "I'm a cop." "You're shit." "What's up, Mad Dog?" "The 7th Cavalry." "What's that make us, the friggin' Comanches?" "You think we're gonna have a big street fight now?" "We'll go away." "But you know what?" "We'll get her." "Somebody'll get her." "A hit and run, a mugging." "Do you know what botulismis?" "We can get her with soup." "Get you, too." "Accidents happen all the time." "Then let's endit today." "Fine." "Bring her down." "No." "I can't be alone anymore." "I'd rather be dead." "That's your fuckin' problem." "Come on, you and me." "You and me?" "Now." "Right now." "Grow up." "Please!" "I'll fuckin' kill you!" "I don't care!" "I don't care!" "Hey, Wayne!" "I'll fuckin' kill you right now!" "Wayne, takeit easy." "I'll shoot you and eat my fuckin' gun!" "Are you fuckin' nuts?" "Fight me!" "Come on, Wayne!" "Come on, Wayne." "It's a girl." "Fight me for her!" "Putit down." "That's playground." "Fight me for her!" "It's getting real crazy here." "Fight me!" "Wayne, come on, man." "Wayne." "Now!" "Okay." "Putit down." "Putit down." "Putit down." "I'm puttin'it down!" "Come on, man." "Putit down." "Get him, Frank!" "Wayne, get that piece of shit!" "Come on, Wayne!" "Hit him!" "Hit him, Wayne!" "Fuckin' A, Frank!" "Get him again!" "You fuckin' piece of garbage!" "Hit him, Frankie!" "Kick him, Frankie!" "Go ahead!" "Get him, Wayne!" "She's just a piranha!" "Look what she's doin' to us..." "...to our friendship, man!" "Then quit." "You're down." "Stay down." "Stay down, Wayne." "Kill him, Wayne!" "Don't let him up!" "Stopit!" "Thisis stupid!" "He'll kill you sooner or later." "I'm goin' with him." "Come on, Frank." "No!" "No!" "It's not up to you!" "Come on!" "No, you're not!" "Yes, I am!" "No, you're not!" "It's over!" "It's not over till he saysit's over, Wayne." "Come on, Frank." "Come on, let's go." "Shut up." "Take her and choke on her." "What?" "I wash my hands on both of you." "It will make my therapist very happy." "The expediter of your dreams, pal." "Kill that fuckin' cop." "Frankie, what's the matter with you?" "Come on, breakit up, for Christ's sake!" "That's enough!" "What about accidents?" "You're the fuckin' accident." "Do you see who I run with?" "Thisis my life." "I lost a fuckin' tooth." "Sorry." "I thought we might wind up bein' friends, me and you." "Let's go." "You all right?" "Yeah." "Way to go, Mad Dog." "What are you gonna do?" "Let's go home." "Come on." "Subtitles by SOFTITLER"