"they've had enough of that there's other girls to look at" "# They've tried to set him up with Tiffany and lndigo" "# But there's somethin' about Mary that they don't know" "# Mary..." "# There's just somethin' about Mary" "life's no fairy tale he's suffered long enough they may know about domestic and imported ale" "# But they don't know a thing about love his friends would say he's dreamin' and livin' in the past" "# But they've never fallen in love so his friends need not be asked let go" "# But there's somethin' about Mary that they don't know" "# Mary..." "# There's just somethin' about Mary" "I fell in love." "Renise." "Hey." "what's up?" "Cool." "... and... or not." "you don't have to." "I just wondered if you were going to the prom... and... or... maybe you'd want to go... ..with me." "whatever." "If... if you didn't." "Did you take that bio test?" "'Cause that was  ..so I'm gonna wait and see what happens there." "That sounds great." "Yeah." "OK." "is that like a yes or a no or..." "I thought I made it clear." "If everything else falls apart... ..maybe." "I'm gonna hold you to that." "guys." "Mary!" "I wonder who she's going with." "(Ted) Her name was Mary." "She moved to our little Rhode lsland town... ..from Minnesota two years earlier." "What a fox!" "I heard she's going with some guy named Woogie." "Who?" "Big guy." "Goes to Barrington High." "Woogie from Bore-rington High?" "Sounds like a loser." "... and fucking valedictorian." "but he's going to Europe first to model." "Yeah?" "I was thinking of doing that." "Sorry." "Have you... have you..." "Have you seen my baseball?" "man." "Haven't seen it." "Have you... have you seen my baseball?" "Sorry." "check it out." "Have you seen my baseball?" "buddy." "Come here." "I think I know where your ball is." "yeah." "I've seen it." "You see that girl over there?" "That... that... except she doesn't call it a baseball." "She's got another name for it." "Nice muffs." "Have you seen my... wiener?" "What?" "Have you seen my wiener?" "buddy?" " Huh?" " Wiener?" "Get your hand off my car!" "What did you say to me?" "My... my..." " Huh?" " Wiener." "Fuckin' son of a bitch." "I'm gonna fuckin' kick your ass!" "fat boy!" "Let's go!" " Take it easy." " Keep your hands off." "all right?" "(crowd) Fight!" "Fight!" "Get out of my face." "You want the first punch?" "Y eah!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "What's the matter with you?" "Stop it!" "(crowd) Aww." "Warren?" "have you seen my baseball?" "I haven't seen your baseball." "What are you doing leaving the yard?" "You know you're not supposed to leave by yourself." "You know him?" "He's my brother." "I'm her brother." "Warren... you know?" "You ought to tell him to watch his mouth." "Jerk." "Are you OK?" "I'm fine." "You OK?" "Ted." "(Ted) I couldn't believe that she knew my name." "Some of my best friends didn't know my name." "(Mary) I think Joe Montana... ..is the most underrated quarterback." "He should have been a first-round draft pick." "Look what he did at Notre Dame." "It's so ridiculous." "Exactly." "it's the 49ers. 49ers." "All the way." "Piggyback ride!" "Piggyback!" "stop it." "Leave Ted alone." "that's OK." "I'll do it." "If you think he can hold me." "Are you kidding?" "He's 230 pounds." "He can hold you." "You don't have to." "... ..but it's all right." "Warren!" "There we go!" "Whoo!" "Warren?" "isn't he?" "buckin' bronco." "My turn now." " Oh." " My turn." "I don't..." "Ted." "You don't have to." "Giddyup!" "(Mary) That's fun." "Whoo!" "Warren?" "(Warren laughing)" "Whoa!" "(Ted) Uhh!" "Whoa!" "That was fun." "huh?" "Yeah." "go hide." "He's got a lot of energy." "Yeah." "He's great." "I have a lot of fun with him." "Thanks for walking us back." "no problem." "I'm just gonna... are you..." "are you going to the prom?" "Huh?" "oh." "Uh..." "I..." "I don't..." "I think proms are... um..." "..dumb." " We could go together." "a bunch of people?" "a designated driver?" "you and me." "we could go together." "The two of us." " You... you and me?" " Yeah." "is that a yes or a no?" " Sure." "All right." " Good." "Cool." "I'm gonna take Warren back inside." "I'll..." "I'll see you at school." "Cool." "I'll catch you back at school." "... ..the guys at school looked at me in a whole new light." "You're a fuckin' liar." "Do you expect us to believe... ..that you're going to the prom with Mary?" "What's so crazy about that?" "and I'm going with Cyndi Lauper." "What happened to Woogie?" "... ..that he was getting weird on her." "I got 20 bucks that says you're full of shit." "Why not make it 100?" "Rock on." "# So when you find somebody who gives" "# Think of me and celebrate" "# I made such a big mistake" "# When I was Mary's prayer" "# So if I say save me" "# Be the light in my eyes" "I've paid h i m enoug h money al ready." "I'm not payi ng u nti I the job gets done." "He can kiss my ass!" "What do you want?" "Uhh!" "I'm T ed Stroehmann." "I'm here to take Mary to the prom." "Prom?" "Mary went to the prom 20 minutes ago with Woogie." "Woogie?" "Woogie!" "Oh." "I see." "you are so mean!" "her mother." "don't pay any attention to anything he says." " He's a laugh a minute." " Ho." "Very funny." "I'm just having fun with the guy." "It's prom night." "Woogie's got a sense of humour." "Warren." "... ..he'll be there for quite a while." "you look beautiful." "boy." "Ted." "Mary." "You look really... pretty." "Thanks." "I like your colours." "thanks." "The guy said it was tan and taupe." "Ted's been getting it both barrels from the wisenheimer here." "have ya?" "Ted?" "(laughs) did you say hi to Ted?" "About 10 times." "OK." "Warren." "I think I found your baseball." "You've seen my baseball?" "if it's a big white one." "uh... ..little red stitching." "Yup." "It is." "... ..right behind your ear." "(Warren screams) hold it!" "Warren!" "Warren!" "Mary!" "Be careful!" "man!" "Let go of him!" "Get down from there!" "What are you doing?" "Ted!" "Ted!" "put him down!" "(Ted) Whoa!" "Ohh!" "What the hell are you doing?" "Mary." "(Charlie) This is my house here!" "buddy?" "Warren." "It's OK." "Here you go." "What the hell's the matter with you?" "I was just trying to give him the baseball." "Baseball?" "What baseball?" "I had a baseball." "What baseball?" "There was... it's right..." "There was a baseball here." "... ..and I was just trying to give him a present!" "Are you yelling at me in my own house?" "No." "Don't make me open a can of whup-ass on you." "I should have told you." "He has a thing about his ears." "Warren?" "your strap's broken." "Ohh." "right." "I'm just gonna go upstairs real quick." "I just need two minutes." "I got to fix my dress." "honey." "uh..." "Can I use your bathroom?" "I'm sorry." "I got to..." " (Warren) He broke the table." " You son of a bitch." "(Warren) I didn't do it." "Warren." "It's OK." " (Ted) I swear..." " The bathroom is that way." "Maybe I'll open up a can of whup-ass on him." "Trying to do the kid a favour." "(unzips trousers)" "(urinating)" "(cooing)" "# Why do birds" "# Suddenly appear" "# Every time" "# You are near" "# Just like me" "# They long to be" "(record scratches)" "(Ted) H m m?" "(Sheila) Oh h!" "He's looki ng at you!" "What is he... no." "I..." " Oh!" " (gasps)" "I was... wait!" "Shit!" "(zip)" "(high-pitched screaming)" "(knock on door) are you OK?" "I'm fine!" "Everything's OK!" "just take your time." "It's all right." "He's been in there over a half an hour." "I think he's masturbating." "come on!" " Mom!" "Well..." "He's not masturbating." "he was watching you undress... ..with a silly grin on his face." "(Ted) I was watching the birds!" " Do something." " What do you want me to do?" "I think he needs some male help." "just give him a minute." "OK?" "no." "Don't..." "Exactly what the hell is the situation here?" "shit yourself or something?" "I wish." "I..." "I got it stuck." "You got what stuck?" "It!" "Oh!" "It." "Um... uh..." "It's not the end of the world." "These kind of things happen." "Uh... let's have a look at it." "save him!" "Shh!" "Shh!" " Shush!" "Quiet!" " Sh-Sheila!" "honey?" "(Ted) Don't... honey... you gotta come here." "You gotta see this." "(Mary) What is it?" "Don't!" "Don't!" "Don't worry." "She's a dental hygienist." "She'll know exactly what to do." "Mrs Jensen." "How are you?" " You OK?" " Yeah." "Holy shit!" "you could have warned me." "um... right." "OK." "I don't want her to hear." "OK?" "uh... uh... huh?" "What do you mean?" "Look at the... um..." "Or the..." "Is it the frank or the beans?" "I..." "I don't know." "It looks like..." "I think it's a little bit of both." "(Warren) Franks and beans!" "Franks and beans!" "shh!" "what's that bubble there?" "What do you think?" "It's a... how the hell did you get the beans above the frank?" "!" "shush." "I don't know." "It wasn't like it was a well-thought-out plan." "There really does seem to be an awful lot of skin  honey." "no." "You know what?" "I don't need any." "Really." "Hello there." "Christ." "What the hell's going on here?" "Neighbours said they heard a lady scream." "you're looking at him." "you gotta take a look at this." "Would you just..." "Jesus!" "(Charlie) Ain't it a beaut?" "What the hell..." "Huh?" "..were you thinking?" "How the hell did you get the zipper all the way to the top?" "Let's just say the kid's limber." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Christ!" "What the..." "God..." "Somebody's gonna have to move that station wagon... ..so I can get the truck in here." "come here." "Ohh..." "Take a look... ..at what this numb-nuts did." "Holy shit!" "Eddie." "Get down here quick." "Bring everybody." "Bring a camera." "You won't believe this!" "We got a kid down here..." "what's your name?" "I... there's only one thing to do here." "What?" "No." "You know what?" "I got an idea." "look." "I can just..." "We don't have to do anything..." "I can just wear this over the front." "I can go to the prom." "We'll deal with it later." "relax." "You already laid the tracks." "That's the hard part." "Now we're just gonna back it up." "be brave." "It's just like pulling off a Band-Aid." "A one... ..and a two..." "..and a..." "We got a bleeder!" "Keep pressure on it." "Keep it on." "Everybody get out of the way!" "(sirens) please." "(Warren) He was masturbating!" "please move out of the way." "come here." "(Warren) He was masturbating!" "Move out of the way." "(Charlie) None of this ever happened to Woogie!" "T ed?" "(crash)" "T ed!" "(Warren) He was masturbating!" "Aah." "Ohh." "are you all right?" "Sure." "Aah." "Oh." "(Mary) OK." "T ed." "let's roll." "(siren)" "uh  ..her father got transferred to Florida in July." "So I worked all summer to pay off those debts and..." "I never saw Mary again." "That was... what?" "13 years ago." "That's very interesting." "..but I guess I just..." "I kinda    ..and all of a sudden it was like I couldn't breathe." "I was..." "I was..." "I felt like I was gonna die." "So I pulled off the road and I just sorta stopped in this... ..I guess it was a rest area." "I was just kind of shaking and... (sighs) rest areas are homosexual hangouts." "Hmm?" "Highway rest areas." "They're the bathhouses of the '90s... many gay men." "So what... what are you..." "What are you saying?" "(beeping) she's up." "delve into that next week." "(chuckles) ... ..and writers are artists." "you know." "(Ted) A little foofy?" "Thanks for the support." "I thought you might like these with your beers." "help yourself." "I don't think I'll have one." " You don't want one?" " No." "You want something else?" "Come on." "You want something to eat?" "thank you." "something like that?" "we got cookies?" "but I could bake some." "no." "Don't bake any." "that's a good idea." "Why don't you bake some?" "Bake some tollhouses." "yeah." "chocolate chip or butterscotch?" " Let's go with the chocolate chip." "you don't... it's fine." "Don't worry." "She loves this kind of thing." "Really?" "that's great." "you know... huh?" "Each day is better than the next." "How about you?" "The big "L." Hmm?" " Ever been?" " What?" "In lurve." "... ..once." "Mary." "God." "Not Mary again." "... ..but it was..." "Dom." "right?" "What ever happened to Mary?" " She moved with her family to Miami." " So why don't you look her up?" "I did... ..once." "I called." "She wasn't listed." "So that's it?" "You get one little bump in the road and give up?" "It's probably for the best." "... ..she's probably gonna think I'm a stalker or something." "You know what you should do is hire a private investigator." "follow her around." "She won't know anything." "No way!" "That's way too creepy." "she's probably married with a couple of kids by now." "Girls like Mary... ..they don't stay single." "I've got an idea." "There's this guy down in my office." "His name's Healy." "He's a claims investigator." "He's a hell of a bloodhound." "He goes to Miami every couple of weeks." "He can help you out." "but he gets the job done." "So." "Dom says you're looking for some lady friend you knew back at school." "Yeah." "Yeah." "That's cute." "but it's cute." "You're not buying what?" "I'm the kind of guy who likes to shoot from the hip." "(zips trousers)" "I want you to level with me." "let's talk." "Did you knock this skirt up?" "Huh?" "No." "right?" "Blackmailing me?" "No." "don't you?" "Dead?" "Were you... are you?" "You expect me to believe this is a straight stalker case?" "Come on!" "all right?" "sure she is!" "... ..and you haven't heard squat from her in 13 years." "Yeah." "A real chum." "Ted." "Real piece of work." "You know what?" "Forget it." "Just forget the whole thing." "I'll do it." "... big guy." "All right." "come this May" "# We'll be runnin' in the sun again" "# Your time will come" "# You're just a young broken heart" "# Been out sleeping ' in the yard" "# How could you be so dumb?" "you dog." "Su I ly!" "Look at you." "you look fucking pisser." "good fella." "(growls)" "Does he bite?" "A little bit." "Get in." "Here's the info you asked for." "Thanks." "you should thank me." "That girl was not easy to find." "she scam you out of some insurance dough?" "Nah." "Some guy gave me a couple bucks... ..to track down his high school girlfriend." "huh?" "Yep." "Big time." "(wind chimes)" "(rock music blaring)" "(lowers volume)" "(Healy) Ahh." "T ed." "Husband... negative." "Children and a labrador... ..negative." "Tight little package... ..affirmative." "Magda." "doll." "You're in my light." " Sorry." "(voices on radio) you been out here all night again?" "You bet your ass I have." "Neighbourhood Watch is." "Ah." "Neighbourhood Watch." "Is that what we're calling it?" "Listening to perfect strangers' telephone conversations." "This only picks up cellular phones in a half a mile radius." "Meaning?" "Meaning these are the people you live amongst." "You got a right to know if they're creeps." "you know the guy... ..in the green house down the street?" "Cheating on his wife." "(Magda) And I am not surprised." "I am not surprised at all." "Because Puffy used to bark his balls off whenever he saw him." "he only barks at the bad people." "OK." "... so... try to get some sleep." "OK." "doll." " Bye." "Hello." "Mary." "Herb." "How's it going?" "Apple for you today." "Mary." "Have a good day." "See you later." "honey." "(starts engine) # lsn't it safer?" "# Dark thoughts" "# All gone" "# What a sensation" "# She has made one more tomorrow" "# Raising up her eyes" "# To a brand-new sky" "# She knows the truth at last" "# She 's never coming back" "# She 'll be gone..." "Mary." "M rs Bai ley." "How you doi ng?" "Looks I i ke we got a jock on our hands." "you want the sports page?" "Sure." "Thank you." "(man) Take care now." "you guys." "See ya." "# She knows what" "# It's for" "# She 's at the window" "# Wondering why" "# There is no-one to save her" "# Raising up her eyes" "# To a brand-new sky" "# She knows the truth at last" "# She 's never coming back" "Mary?" "j ust I i ke everybody else." "Mmm." "it's good." "(giggles)" "Mary?" "..." "I'm already engaged to Freddie." "(giggles)" "Who's Freddie?" "Me?" "that's you." "(laughing)" "Will you marry me?" "Oh." "What about Dolores?" "You gonna marry us both?" "I'm gonna kiss you." "I think you're making out pretty well there." "OK." "Mary." "Zack." " No onions." " No onions." "No onions." "No onions." "How you doing?" "(giggling)" "Listen to this one:" "Seeking sensitive WASP doctor  ... ..marriage." "Is she looking for a corpse?" "You have to be specific when you write those." "... ..3-pound cock and trust fund." "I want a guy who can play 36 holes... ..and still have enough energy... ..to take me and Warren to a ball game... ..and eat hot dogs." "beer." "but beer." "That's my ad." "Print it up." "Mmm." "Fatty who likes beer and golf." "where you gonna find a gem like that?" "(laughter) here's the catch." "He has to be self-employed." "Like a drug dealer?" "... ..of somebody like... ..an architect or something." "you know?" "Somebody who can do it anywhere... ..and just leave at a drop of a hat." "And where would you and your beer-bellied architect be going to?" "(Mary) Super Bowl?" "That's good." "I don't know." "Maybe a few months in Nepal." "And you'd probably dump the poor guy halfway to Katmandu." "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means you change your mind too much." "I don't." "Mary." "Remember that gorgeous corn-fed white-boy honey... ..that you just dumped like yesterday's garbage?" "What was his name?" "Pack man." "OK." "We had fun for a while." "cut the crap." "What really happened with Brett?" "Y eah." "Brett seemed so sweet." "You know what Tucker said Brett told him?" "... ..that he would have popped the question a long time ago." " Oh." " What a schmuck." "you know?" "(Mary) I've got a vibrator." "Ha ha ha ha!" "(giggling)" "Shh!" "(sportscaster) Those are the plays of the month." "Thank you for joining us." "Look forward to seeing you next Sunday... ..on the Sports Machine." "everybody." "(TV off)" "yeah." "Ho ho." "Here comes the money shot." "(Healy) Aah!" "T ed." "(Healy) Ohh." "Shit." "(groans) yeah." "you wanna get me a whisky sour when you get a sec?" "Whisky sour coming up." "my friend." "yeah?" "Excellent?" "I think your life's about to change." "Really?" "So... so you found her?" "yeah." "man." "She really is something else." "My God." "Really?" "So... so she hasn't... huh?" "that I couldn't say." "Let me ask you something." "Was Mary a little big-boned back in high school?" "no." "Not at all." "No." "I guess she packed on a few pounds over the years." "yeah." "So she's a little..." "she's a little chubby?" "deuce and a half." "Not bad." "my." "A deuce and a half." "and you're bound to put on a few pounds." "um... ..she's married?" "no." "She's never been." "That's the good news." "Huh?" "but no rock." "too." "I bet." "She's in a wheelchair?" "Mary's in a wheelchair?" "I thought that was part of your kick." "I ordered a whisky sour." "(Pop) Whatever." "Are you sure it's the same Mary?" "yeah." "It's Mary all right." "The brother Warren?" "Ted." "It's been a long time." "I bet you've changed a lot the last 13 years." "do you think your shit don't stink?" "it doe..." "I got all the information you need." "I got it off her bookie." "Nice guy." "Ted." "this one." "Healy." "Good work." "... ..don't you want the name of the housing project?" "What?" "995." "and right here... ..on Jefferson Boulevard in Warwick..." "(guitar)" "it h u rts from the bottom" "# And it h u rts down to you r sou I" "# That's because" "# T rue love is not nice" "# And it brings up hurt" "# From when you were five years old" "# That's because" "# True love is not nice" "# No pain" "# Ain't that just love's name?" "# Love can bring up hurt" "# From way down low" "# It now be emphasised" "# True love is just not civilised" "# True love is not nice no" "Where are you goin'?" "Huh?" "I resigned." "Pat." "Miami?" "What... what are you doing in Miami?" "job offer." "With who?" "uh... ..Rice-a-roni." "Isn't that the San Francisco treat?" "It was." "They're changing their image." "I've been thinking about what you said." "good." "I still want to look her up." "Who?" "Roller pig?" "Are you nuts?" "I thought you said she was a real spark plug." "no." "I said butt plug." "She's heinous." "You know what?" "I think I wanna call her." "... you know..." "I don't know." "Maybe I can help her out." "you know?" "for God sakes." "It's... it's a bunion." "It'll heal." "Bunion?" "You... what..." "I thought..." "I just  ..but I can't just turn it off that fast." "I guess I still have feelings for her." "huh?" "All right." "... ..just as soon as she gets back from Japan." "Thank you." "I'd apprec..." "Japan?" "What is..." "what's happening in Japan?" "Why is she going to Japan?" "haven't you?" "too." "Mary's a... are they desperate?" "She's a whale!" "Don't forget." "It's a sumo culture." "They pay by the pound there." "sorta like tuna." "what happened to..." "You said she was single." "Remember?" "No rock." "Ted." "You blew it." "I had my window?" "buddy." "It's just... you're liberated." "and it turns out... ..that getting your dick stuck in your zipper was the best thing that ever happened to you." "(Ted) You wanna say it a little louder?" "but it was." "I never told you that." "I was only four towns away." "Excuse me." "sweetheart." "I gotta go." "I gotta get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow... ..and help my boss' brother move." "Your boss' brother?" "Who's that?" "I don't even know." "I never met him." "finish that novel so you can quit that stupid magazine." " Yeah." " Mm-hmm." "Nice swing." "Christ!" "Hit a house!" "I haven't swung the wrenches in a while." "Would you mind givin' me some pointers here?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Don't talk in someone's backswing." "thanks." "I'm gonna go get a soda." "You want one?" "thanks." "... uh... you got change of a dollar?" "No." "All I got are these damn Nepalese coins." "You've been to Nepal?" "Hmm?" "not... not in months." "I don't even know why I bought the damn place." "too... again." "what's your name?" "Pat Healy." "Hmm." "Wanna know mine?" "Mary." "How did you know that?" "'Cause it's right there on your golf bag." "damn!" "Wow." "Are... are those blueprints?" "these?" "projects I'm working on." "... hospital for kids." "Really?" "Are you an architect?" "PGA tour card." "or is it..." "I'm sort of burnt out on talkin' about it." "I'm sorry." "something to keep me moving." " My real passion is my hobby." " Really?" "What's that?" "I work with retards." "incorrect?" "the hell with that." "right?" " No." "I mean..." " We got this one kid..." "Mongo." "... ..but we don't bust his chops too much." "they keep him in a cage?" "it's... it's just an enclosure... but they keep him confined." "yeah." "That's bullshit!" "that's what I said!" "I got him a leash." "A leash!" "... ..and he can run back and forth." "there's plenty of room... play." "... you know?" "take him to movies." "Baseball games." "Fun stuff." "Yeah." "Sounds cool." "... ..but for me it's much more than that." "it's... it's heaven." "Y'know?" "Those goofy bastards are just about... ..the best thing I've got goin' in this... ..crazy world." "will you?" " What?" " You heard me." "You already put a fuckin' nick in my piano." "I'll try to be a little more careful." "fading?" "You wimpin' out on me?" "that's all." "... ..you insensitive prick." "I didn't..." "I didn't mean that!" "yeah." "I'm goin' down the street to get some coffee." "Wait!" "Wait!" "I'll get you the coffee." "Just... just..." "I'm sorry!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Ah!" " Ow!" " (crack)" "Ow." "fascial tissue left of L7." "Bob?" "Remember Mary?" "yeah." "I remember Mary." "I saw her a few months ago at a convention in Las Vegas." "How could you see her at a convention?" "I'm a chiropractor." "She's an orthopaedic surgeon." "She's a what?" "!" "She's an orthopaedic surgeon." "And... oof... she's still a fox." "What if the families don't want a class action?" "God!" "That's what I've been trying to explain to you people for the last hour!" "fine." "We'll go over it again." "Mary's a fox!" "What?" "Mary's a fox?" "What do you... let's..." "We'll break up." "We'll spitball this tomorrow." "OK?" "What the hell are you talking about?" "!" "Mary?" "My Mary?" "She's not in Japan." "She has no rugrats running around." "My friend says she's a fox." "A surgeon fox." "I don't get it." "I mean Healy..." "Think about it!" "He never even looked her up down there!" "He was there closing his deal with the Rice-a-roni people the whole time!" "What's up with your head?" "Oh." "I..." "I get hives tap-dancing for these idiots." "I feel like a royal shit because I set you up with this guy." "You know what you gotta do." "You gotta call her." "Fuck calling her." "I'm goin' down there." "OK." "ASAP." "who's the lucky guy?" "His name's Pat." "I met him at the driving range." "Is he good looking?" "He's no Steve Young." "what is he like?" "I don't know." "Kind of a mook." "A schlep." "(Magda) Why the hell you going out with him if he's a schlep?" "Magda." "it's..." "It's like that movie Harold and Maude." "Aw..." "I don't watch the new ones." "because it's probably the greatest love story of our time." "The point is... ..is that love isn't about... ..money or social standings... ..or age." "... ..having something in common." "kindred spirits." "Fuck kindred spirits." "My little Puffy here is going to tell you... ..everything you need to know about that guy... ..in about two seconds flat." "uh-uh." "He's a loser." "then you've got yourself a keeper." "(kisses Puffy)" "(growling)" "Y eah." "Pufferball likes it when I rub his belly." "That is amazing!" "He doesn't like anybody." "He never usually likes guys." "He doesn't like bad guys." "Is that right?" "I can tell that you're an animal nut." "aren't you?" "You got me pegged." "the villagers there called me  ..which means... too." "Would you like a cup of tea or something?" "I'd love a brewski if you got one." "We can do that." "why don't you help me in the kitchen?" "yeah." "Certainly." "Of course." "Kin ton ti." "does he?" "Puffer?" "Puffer?" "boy." "doll?" "thank you." "I'd love a bundt cake if you have one." " Bundt cake?" " Bundt cake?" "5." "5." "3." "um... ..a Budweiser or a Heinie?" "whatever." "Puffer!" "Stay away from the light!" "I'll just get you a regular." "Uhh!" "(sound of fire spreading)" "All set?" "(barks)" "Ohh." "good pooch." "honey?" "my God." "He's got him wrapped up like a baby." "He was... ..he was a little chilly." "(whimpers) here we are." " The museum?" " Yeah." "I have a surprise." " Surprise?" " It's the architecture exhibit." " Architecture exhibit?" " Yeah." " I got to eat something or I get the shakes." " Come on." "We'll eat in 20 minutes." "too." " Come on." " Architect?" "Yeah." "Tucker." "This is amazing." "It just blows me away." "or is it Art Nouveau?" "Uh... ..Deco." "yeah." " Yeah." "It's beautiful." "Is this..." "OK." "or is it a portico?" "What is the difference between the two?" "... ..try to visualise the buildings... you know?" "in their  ..so to speak." "Stone crab time." "Tucker." "(laughter)" "(English accent) Mary!" "How are you?" "Good." "I'm glad we saw you." "Uhh!" "like you mean it." "Pat Healy." "Patrick." "Same here." "Pat is an architect as well." "really?" "Where are your offices?" "I work out of Boston." "huh?" "Did you get your degree up there?" "You bet." "Really?" "Where did you study?" "Harvard." "Then you must've studied under Kim Green." "among others." "Huh." "um... ..does projects all over the world." "Really?" "Where would I have seen your work?" "uh... let me see." "Chile?" "Twice last year." "Which building's yours?" "Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?" "Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?" "just down the street... ..the Celinto Catayente Towers." "in fact." "I recommend that next time you're up that way... ..that you drop in and take a ganders at it yourself." "(rock music)" "man." "no problem." "... ..so I could use the company." "I know what you mean." "I've been standing in the same spot... ..for five and a half hours." "You know they made it illegal to hitchhike in this state?" "Really?" "That must make it really tough." "or  ..I'm..." "I'm..." "I'm nothing." "I am." " Yeah?" " I'm a salesman." "I'm going to start my own company." "Really?" "You want in?" "Uh..." "I... nah." "I'm not..." "I don't really have any money or..." "You heard of this thing the 8-minute abs?" "the exercise video." "This is going to blow that right out of the water." "Listen to this." "7-minute abs." "Right." "I see where you're going." "You walk into a video store." "There's 8-minute abs and 7-minute abs beside it." "Which one are you going to pick?" "I'm..." "I would go for the seven." "bingo." "7-minute abs." "And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk." "You guarantee it?" "That's..." "How do you do that?" "... ..we're going to send you the extra minute free." "You see?" "That's it." "That's our motto." "That's where we're coming from." "That's from A to B." "That's right." "That's... that's good." "That's good." "... huh?" "No!" "not six." "I said seven." "Nobody's coming up with six." "Who works out in six minutes?" "... ..not even a mouse on a wheel." "That... good point." "Seven's the key number here." "Think about it." " 7-Elevens." " Yeah." "Seven dwarves." "that's the number." "... ..eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch." "You know that old children's tale from the sea." "It's like you're dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese... baby." "Step into my office." "Why?" "'Cause you're fucking fired." "Y eah." "I got to pee." "I'm just going to pull over." "man." "What are these made out of?" "Cactus?" "I'm only waiting seven minutes total." "Ohh!" "wait your turn." "I didn't..." "Whoa." "(officer) Freeze!" "(Ted) Wait a minute." "This is a raid!" "I was peeing." "That's what I was doing." "I was just peeing." "too!" "I'm sure you were all just pissing." "Let's go." "Let's move it out." "Let's go." "(men yelling)" "Come on." "is that you?" "(helicopter)" "bad boys" "# Whatcha gonna do?" "# Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" "bad boys my God." "T ed?" "Ahem." "If you'll just let me talk to you for one second... ..outside of the truck... all right?" "Get in the truck!" "Let's go." "Let's go." "Can I have a cup?" "hon?" "I told you he was gay." "(announcer) We 'll be right back with more cops... ..live from the heartland." "# A veces pienso que aquí" "# T odo es seguridad" "# Por la seca castidad" "# Lo de antes fue algo" "# Ahora es mejor ahora es mejor..." "Magda's not my grandmother." "... she just hangs out." "no." "Sometimes I wish I could be like Magda and not go home." "I'd like to bounce around for a while and do some travelling." "... if they have their own condo in Nepal." "I'd be there in a second." "I'd sell it." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "give up the architect game." "see more movies." "Are you a movie buff?" "but it's tough going out there with all the crap they make today." "I just wish they made movies like they used to make." "classics like The Karate Kid... ..or Harold and Maude." "Harold and Maude is my all-time favourite movie." "but..." "I'm not kidding." "I think that Harold and Maude is one of the greatest... (both).." "Iove stories of our time." "Here I thought I was the only one." "You're too good to be true." "let's go dance." "(door slams) do they?" "That's probably how he got his victim to drop his guard." "Where'd they find the body?" "... ..all hacked up." "Gruesome." "this one." "you're a little worked up." "Let me do the talking." "I'm Detective Stabler." "This is Krevoy." "OK?" "This is a huge misunderstanding." "... ..I trip over this guy and all of a sudden there's all these cops... it's OK." "We believe you." "Oh." "... ..we found your friend in the car." "the hitchhiker?" "This is about the hitchhiker?" "Oh." "great." "Just my luck." "I get caught for everything." "So... ..you admit it?" "yeah." "Guilty as charged." "I know you guys have a job to do and I'm really sorry." "I did it." "I admit it." "so..." "Well... ..uh..." "Can you tell us his name?" "Uh..." "I didn't catch it." "or... tell us why you did it." "Why I did it?" "Um..." "I don't know." "Boredom." "just would not shut up." "with the... just  ... ..was it?" "No." "How many are we talking here?" "Hitchhikers?" "My whole life?" "Um..." "I don't know." "who keeps track?" "but where I come from... ..this is not that big a deal." "You son of a bitch." "You're gonna fry." "Come here!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Take it easy!" "You OK?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" "You all right?" "(radio static)" "Your friend Tucker stopped by." "Really?" "OK." "What does it look like today?" "It's fine." "A little crazy in the afternoon." "Tucker." "Doc?" "You look different." "Did you do something with your hair?" "The teeth." "The teeth." "I got them capped." "they look great." "not at all." "The bigger the better." "But they could be a little brighter." "There's nothing more sexy to me... ..than a guy with a mouthful of big pearly whites." "really?" "Come here." "You ever had one up the hatch in here." "behave yourself." "I'll say." "my friend?" "I wanted to talk to you about your friend Patrick." "huh?" " That's what I'm trying to figure out." "How long have you known h i m?" "but I like him." "... ..but that's what I like about him." "He dresses like a complete dork." "He chews with his mouth open." "... too." "is it?" "A farter?" "I'm looking for a guy." "something struck me as strange about him last night." "He..." "He gave me this funny vibe." "... ..and they've never heard of an architect named Patrick Healy." "He's not listed as a Harvard alumnus." "Fuck!" "I thought so." "I hope you don't think I'm being meddlesome." "that's all." "and... and you trust people." "I'm just saying there's a lot of psychos out there." "Just be careful." "Fucker!" "thank you." "I really appreciate you looking out for me." "OK?" "OK." "damn." " You want me to get those for you?" " No." "I have to learn to do this myself." "Damn!" "(leg rattles)" "My leg." "Mary?" "Thank you." "Wait." "Wait." "There." "(rattles)" "(rattles)" " See?" " Y eah." "I knew I could do it." "let me get the door." "Thank you." " See you later." " Goodbye." "can you get the door for Tucker?" "(keys drop)" "Do you want me to..." "No." "I've done this a thousand times." "OK." "... ..I would like to apologise to you for any pain or temporary inconvenience... ..that you may have been caused." "Ohh." "... ..a man was apprehended not far from where you were arrested." "He was identified as an escaped mental patient." "he confessed to the murder you're being held for." "Lab tests confirm a fingerprint match." "You mean I'm free to go?" "no foul." "there's someone there to see you." "(cheering and whistling)" "Shut up!" "Phew!" "you know that?" "I am?" "Y eah." "Didn't they tell you?" "That hitcher was about to cut your throat before you decided to take a piss." "my man." "You got that nervous hive thing again?" "Yeah." "because I got some bad news." "Are you OK?" "I'm dying." "my... man." "Come on!" "it's just the humidity down here." "the bad news I got is about our friend Healy." "I sent my assistant down to his apartment with his last pay cheque." "The landlady said when he came back from Miami... ..he kept talking about falling for some doctor named Mary." "Mary?" "Mmm." "My Mary?" "Well... here's Healy's address down there." "do a little research before you send a guy like that out into the woods." "OK?" "You're not seriously thinking about going out with this guy again?" "he's a psycho." "the guy's full of shit." "this sucks." "It's too bad this had to happen." "He was almost perfect." "what did you say Pat's last name was?" "(Mary) Healy." "you got to hear this." "What?" "(Healy) That's just the way us Healys were raised." "Healy?" "I got a date tonight with that Mary girl I told you about." " The sawbones?" " Yep." " We h it the mother lode." " Shou ld we be I isten i ng to th is?" "shh!" "(Sully) Does she still think you're a fucking architect?" "yeah." "(Sully) Dumb shit." "huh?" "watch your mouth." "Mary." "I'm the dumb shit for lying to her." "Why didn 't you just tell her the truth?" "I don't know." "(Healy) It seems that women today are more impressed by the almighty buck... ..than some schmo who 's spent 17 years scraping by on peace corps wages." "... ..she's going to want to hear about the things you did." "You could tell her about the irrigation ditches you dug in Sudan." "The orphan babies who cried in your arms in... ..Romania." "The hope... ..you gave Freddy the leper in Calcutta." "I'll be honest with you." "I'm a selfish prick." "I get a high from helping all God's creatures." "(kills fly)" "An honest-to-goodness high." "I did all those things for myself." "hey." "uh... man." "you were on the front line." "(Sully) You remember?" "that vicious strain of genital herpes?" " Ooh." " Ooh." "Fuck!" "(Healy) Yeah." "I cured all sorts of horrible illnesses in Third World countries." "I'm not going to use my philanthropy... especially after what I did." "I I led to that poor g i rl." "man!" "..." "Love wi I I make you do fucked-up things." "mister." "I got to run." "(hangs up)" "We're dicks." "Mm-hmm." "It's him!" "It's him!" "Mary." "Hello." "... there's something I have to tell you." "I'm not the architect..." "# Is she really going out with him?" "let's huddle up." "Jimmy!" "I'm open!" "Hit me!" "Come on!" "# Is she really going out with him?" "Uhh!" "Ooh-whee!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "my ass." "Aah!" "Huh?" "and I kid myself I look really sweet" "Looks like I double jumped you for the win." "big guy." "# Look over there very good." "Coconut." "Coconut." "Warren?" "# They say that looks don't count for much" "# So there goes your proof" "# Is she really going out with him?" "Look at her." "She's more beautiful than I remember." "She's perfect." "Mmm." "Mar." "Sorry I forgot my wallet." "I feel like a dog." "Don't worry about it." "It was fun." " Euch!" " Fuck me." "Whoa." "How's my stomach taste?" "she says." "there's Warren." "(Warren) Franks and beans!" "Frank and beans!" "you just ate." "Warren?" "Huh?" "I said you got a big..." "Warren!" "yes." "Uh-huh." "You can't touch his ears unless he trusts you." "Are you OK?" "(hoarse) Not to worry." "right?" "Sure." "Warren." " You OK?" " He broke it." "I saw." "OK." "What are you waiting for?" "Let's go." "What?" "No." "I don't know what to say." "Just tell her the truth about Healy." "Blow the schmuck out of the water." "Come on." "I can't." "I unleashed the psycho on her." "She's going to be fucking pissed." "Mmm." "Mary!" "(Ted) Stop!" "Mary?" "Mary?" "Is that..." "It is you." "Who is that?" "Hi." "It's Ted." "Ted?" "Ted from Rhode lsland." "Ted." "my God." "Ted!" "How are you?" "too." "How you been?" "I'm..." "I haven't seen you since... since... um..." "Senior prom." "That's right... senior prom." "I... you got a great memory." "that was..." "I haven't thought about that in years." "um..." "How's everything?" "you know." "that's fine." "I was in and out of the hospital in a couple of weeks." "It was not a big deal at all." "Now I'm good." "Strong like bull." "Really good." "Warren." "Ted." " How are you?" " I'm... how are you?" "(laughs)" "I can't believe that he remembers you." "Piggyback ride?" "OK?" "He never remembers anybody." "It's amazing." "what are you doing here?" "Do you work here?" "it's up there." "I was just out on my lunch break with Warren." "that's a funny story." "I was..." "I decided to... um... right?" "Right." "you look great." "You look really good." "what's the story?" "Are you married?" "Do you have kids?" "What's the deal?" "No." "Dodged a few bullets." "Yeah?" "this is just so... bizarre." "I'm standing here with Mary Jensen." "no." "Now it's Mary Matthews." "Oh." "Did you... no." "it was this thing in college." "This creepy guy who" "I just decided... ..be cautious." "Change your name." "Just kind of leave that behind." "Right." "That sounds... that sounds horrible." "It was... yeah." "so it's good." "what are you doing tonight?" "go out to dinner?" "Catch up on old times." "Didn't we just do that?" "Ted." "Ha ha!" "Oh." "I sort of already have plans tonight." "But I'm free tomorrow night." "you know... ..or you could just blow off that jerk you're going out with tonight... ..and come out with me." "What hotel are you staying at?" "the Cardoza." "Pick you up at 8.00?" "Sure." " OK" " OK." "Cool." "See you." "Bye." "# Look closely at this picture" "# Ted and Mary like before" "# Can you see her as Ted sees her" "# And why he couldn't wait no more?" "# And if you still think he's being silly" "# Then you've still got more to see folks" "# This is chemistry" "# And Mary there's just somethin' about Mary" "(Magda on radio) Banana!" "We're gonna be buyin' bananas tonight!" "Ooh!" "Why's that?" "... ..I always used to make myself a big banana split after sex." "I think you're gonna need one tonight." "Magda." "You'll probably be eating a banana split before I do." "Don't bet on it." "... ..the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker." "(Mary on radio) I am a little psyched." "I ran into this guy I haven 't seen since high school." "(Magda) An old flame?" "Kind of." "Ted Stroehmann." "The sweetest guy in the world." "He was so cute." "He was so cl u msy and he had th is h uge mouth fu I I of metal." "You know how I like braces." "we're going out tonight." "no!" "that reminds me." "I have to cancel what's-his-face." "What's-his-face?" "(knock on door)" "Who is it?" "It's Tucker." "Tucker." "how are you?" " Good." "How are you?" "thank you." "look who's here." "There she is." "(Magda laughs)" "Mag." "aren't you sweet?" "I'm not." "I  ..and I can give Mary a good rogering." "(laughs)" "You want me to pour you one?" "but I have to be going." "this is not a social visit." "Really?" "What's up?" "I've got a little more news about your friend Healy." "everything's OK." "He confessed everything." "He told me he's not an architect." "but right now I'm actually running behind." "the man's a killer." "What?" "Yes." "I have a friend in the Boston police department." "He faxed me this morning." "I'll just give you the highlights." "... ..Patrick R. Healy g rad uated to armed robbery by the age of 14." "... ..a pretty teacher's aide named Molly Pettygrove." "..the state was forced to release him." "... ..he was suspected of homicides in the states of Utah and Washington." "... ..there wasn't enough evidence to hold him." "And so on and so forth." "what am I gonna do?" "I'm supposed to meet this guy in an hour." "just calm down." "Everything's going to be fine." "Don't worry." "Tucker." "Why you two never hooked up is beyond me." "I'm so lucky to have you as a friend." "don't get all gooey on me now." "You're gonna give me a big head." "... ..is you have to distance yourself as much as possible... ..without pissing this psycho off." "OK." "I know what I got to do." "Where's the phone?" "(dog barking)" "fucker." "(starts engine)" "Dom." "I don't feel good." "I feel nervous." "I really feel nervous." "relax." "Relax." "Been to the cash machine?" "(sighs) Y eah." " Car clean?" " Uh-huh." " Plenty of gas?" " Uh-huh." "Mmm." "Breath." "How's your breath?" "(sniffs)" "It's fine." "I had some Altoids." "I think you're all set." "and it's a go." "Huh?" "clean the pipes." "clean the pipes?" "don't you?" "Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date." "my God." "He doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date." "Are you crazy?" "That's like going out there with a loaded gun." "Of course that's why you're nervous." "please sit." "Please." "um  ... ..are you nervous?" "No." "you're not." "Why?" "'Cause I'm tired." "Ehh!" "Wrong!" "It's 'cause you ain't got the baby batter on the brain any more." "that stuff will fuck your head up." "Oh." "Look..." "The most honest moment in a man's life... ..are the few minutes after he's blown his load." "that is a medical fact and the reason for it... ..is that you're no longer trying to get laid." "You're actually thinking like a girl... ..and girls love that." "Holy shit." "I've been going out with a loaded gun." "People get hurt that way." "(whistling)" "Ohh!" "Whoa whoa whoa whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "how... how smashing to see you." "You're dead!" "You fuckup!" "take it easy." "Who the fuck do you think you are making that shit up about me?" "Ted." "didn't he?" "you little shit?" "Who?" "(bones crack)" "Uhh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "(crying) or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!" "man!" "What?" "God damn it." "man." "(sobbing) just like you." "What do you mean?" "I'm a fucking fraud." "man." "twice in one year?" "I've never even been in Jersey!" "OK." "Just take it easy." "Wait a minute." "You knew those people back at Harvard." "man." "... ..and I made up everything else." "My real name's Norm." "I'm a pizza delivery boy." "Here." "Look." "Here's my id." "(sighs) Fuck me." "(slapping noises)" "(Ted panting)" "Keep the change." "Y eah!" "Oh." "Where the... ..hell did it go?" "(knock on door) hang on." "Wait a second." "Hello." "How you doing?" "Good." "How are you?" " Good." " Good." "You are looking very beautiful." "Thank you." "What is that?" "Hmm?" "On your ear." "Ear?" "your left ear." "Is that..." "Is that hair gel?" "Yeah." "Great." "I could use some." "No." "You don't have to." "You don't..." "I just ran out." "Huh huh." "How we doing over here?" "(Ted) OK." "Little more wine?" "(Ted) Sure." "um... you mean..." "He's a murderer." "Yeah." "Like an actual convicted murderer?" "He killed people." "I know." "It's crazy." "what?" "Did he ever go to jail?" "Yeah." "In Boston." "but..." "And he just got out?" "it's obviously... the system sucks." "The guy's walking the streets." "I'm kissing him." "Right." "But you didn't do anything... right?" "What?" "you didn't..." "I couldn't live with myself." "... just the thought of that... (sighs)" "I shouldn't be putting this all on you." "I'm sorry." "We haven't seen each other in so long." "No." "It's... it's just I feel really bad." "I'm tired of talking about stalkers." "Let's talk about you." "(coughs)" "Are you OK?" "Y eah?" " Do you want some water?" " No." "I'm good." "how are the twins?" "Norm." "man." "big guy." "chompers." "How the hell did you meet Mary?" "really." "... whoa." "That was it for me." "shaved my beard... ..and a week later I'm laid out in her office with a broken back." "Broken back?" "How'd you do that?" "A friend." "Baseball bat." "Ah." "T ouché." "Do you want another one?" "sure." "Yeah." "Docky." "please." "Two corn dogs coming up." "I don't think that they have enough meats on sticks." "... right?" "..but they don't have any other meat on sticks." "you don't see that many meats on sticks." "absolutely not." "You know what I'd like to see?" "I'd like to see more meats in a cone." "You don't hardly ever see that." "That's an idea I think is waiting to pop." "oversized waffle cone stuffed full of... (both)..chopped liver." "Exactly." "Ted." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "We have a lot in common." "um... uh... ..maybe moving back up to Rhode lsland?" "but I got too much of a good thing going on here." "Warren." "move down here and marry me." "(Mary) So you're a writer." "I'm trying to be." "the good thing about writing... ..is you can do it anywhere." "That's true." "How about you?" "How did you manage to stay single all these years?" "so that's hard for a lot of guys to understand." "Well..." "You gonna smoke that?" "I read somewhere that most women are  ..have tendencies towards..." "I'm fucking with you." "Yeah." "Stalking motherfucker." "(Healy) I know." "It sickens me." "I did almost get married once." "Mm-hmm." "What happened?" "he was a really great guy." "Mm-hmm." "uh... let's go." "(whispering) Here you go." "Wait." "How many is this?" " Four." " Four?" "That seems like an awful of lot of speed to give one little pooch." "Are you sure it won't kill him?" "I never said that." "There's a baby." "(fizzing)" "good." "So... ..then it was over." "We really haven't spoken since." "Hmm." "Wow." "Sounds like he was almost perfect." "Hmm." "Almost." "you want to go upstairs and watch Sportscentre?" "Uh..." "I think I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead." "Ted." "Magda!" "What are you doing?" "hon." "Just straightening up." "(Mary gasps)" "(Mary) Put that down!" "Whoa." "Magda!" "doll." "Whoa!" "Magda." "Magda." "where is Puffy?" "so I put him in the bathroom." " Really?" " Uh-huh." "(banging on door)" "(Mary) Ted." "Hmm?" "Can you do me a favour?" "Would you mind letting the dog out of the bathroom?" "'Cause I think I should have a talk with Magda here." "yeah." "(banging on door)" "(bang)" "(bang)" "(bang)" "(bang)" "Mary?" "Huh?" "What kind of dog is Puffy?" "Benji." "Oh." "(Puffy panting)" "Hey." "Hey." "Are you the little guy making all that big noise?" "Huh?" "Hmm?" "(Puffy whines) snarling)" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ted!" " Aah!" " Aah!" "(Puffy cries)" "(barking ferociously)" "Ohh!" "stop it!" "(Magda) No!" "(Mary) No!" "Take a little bit of this!" "Ow!" "(Mary) Puffy!" "Puffy!" "Puffy!" "Aah!" "Uhh!" "Ohh!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Aah!" "T ed!" "(rip)" " Aah!" " Aah!" "(Puffy barking)" "Puffy." "(Puffy whines)" "(crash)" "Aah!" " Puffy!" " Puffy!" " Aah!" " Aah!" "Puffy!" "Puffy!" "Puffy!" "Puffy!" "Puffy!" "Puffy!" "(talking)" "(Puffy whines)" "You want a grape?" "A grape?" "Sure." " Ready?" " Y eah." "Uhh." "All net." "All net." "We make a good team." "# But it don 't know" "# If it's coming or going" "(Puffy whines) there is fad some is bad barks)" "# And the joke is rather sad" "# That it's all just a little bit" "# Of history repeating" "# And I've seen it before oh!" "Closer?" "It's al I rig ht." "Get i n closer." "That's good." "That's good." "Don't be afraid." "Get right in there." "A little bit more." "A little bit more." "you're overprotective." " Ooh!" " Aah!" "(bat hits ground)" "# Just little bits of history repeating" "# Some people won 't dance" "# If they don 't know who 's singing" "# Why ask your head?" "# It's your hips that are swinging" "# Life 's for us to enjoy no." "We al ready got it." "man" "# Girl and boy" "# Feel the pain" "# Feel the joy" "# And sidestep the little bits of history repeating come on." "Pow!" "Pow!" "Pow!" "Pow!" "Warren." "Warren!" "(tyres squealing)" "Warren!" "Warren!" "Warren!" "Warren!" "Warren!" "Come here!" "Stop!" "# Just little bits of history repeating" "I'm OK!" "I'm OK!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "It's his fault." "He hit me with that stuff." "Whoo!" "Warren!" "Warren!" "Stop!" "# I'll see it again" "I've seen it before" "# Just little bits of history repeating" " Uhh!" " (gasps)" " Uhh!" "Uhh!" " Ooh!" "God." "(Warren) I didn't do it." "He got in the way." "I know." "otherwise?" "Anything?" "Hey." "Flowers are for you." "Ball is for Warren." "Had a friend Fed-Ex it from Boston." "Signed by T ony..." "Conigliaro." "Did you hire Pat Healy to spy on me?" "What?" "What are you talking about?" "I got an anonymous letter." "Ted?" "it's... it's..." "It's an interesting thing that happened." "um... but it's... it's not..." "OK." "Get out." "... ..I didn't know that this guy was..." "What?" "That he was a murderer?" "and in addition to many other things." "I didn't know anything about the guy." "I hardly know him." "Ted?" "How could you have some guy you don't even know spy on me?" "What were you trying to do?" "Trick me into feeling something for you?" "No." "I didn't..." "I didn't want to trick you." "Just leave." "OK?" "Mary..." "Go." "I did it because I never stopped thinking about you." "I knew that my life... ever be good again." "baby" "# I'll do my own crying" "# I'm a big girl now" "(door closes)" "# Now I'm gonna be OK" "I'll find a new way" "# Of livin '" "# You know I will" "# And you lie there" "# Without sleeping '" "# And you stare" "# At your walls" "# And you realise" "# You're not weeping '" "Hey." "# You don 't need her" "Healy!" "You i n there?" "# Any more" "# You guess that it's over" "Hel lo?" "(door squeaks)" "(sniffing)" "Eww." "(Tucker talking)" "And it was goi ng along j ust fi ne until you showed up." "Holy shit!" "This is a pretty nice place." "Heh." "what the fuck happened?" "surprise!" "man." "man!" "come on!" "man... hmm?" "Who the fuck is this guy?" "!" "that's Norm." "He's a pizza boy." "too." "man." "hmm?" "(Ted) I don't want a drink!" "Fuck you!" "look..." "You asked me to follow around your girl and I did." "I..." "I started to like her." "And that's when I realised I couldn't in good conscience bring myself to do it." "Do what?" "Turn her over to a violent... stalker." "I'm a stalker." "You're calling me a violent stalker?" "yeah." "Sure." "You're a sick fuck." "fuck you." "(Ted) Fuck you!" "You just can't take the fact that it was my turn!" "Your turn?" "that's right." "My turn." "Why can't I ever get a girl like Mary?" "... ..you didn't have to blow us both out of the water." "What are you talkin' about?" "You're gonna tell me you didn't write her an anonymous letter... ..telling her about our whole deal together?" "What letter?" "Come on." "It was you." "You sent the letter." "It was you!" "We had a deal." "You said you wouldn't fuck me... ..and I wouldn't fuck you until... ..we got this fuck outta the fuckin' picture." "man!" "man!" "now." "Why would I cross the line?" "you piece of shit." "that makes a lot of sense." "Why would I rat myself out?" "Like I'm gonna try to figure out some guy... ..whose idea of courtin' is blowin' farts in her face." " You were following' us." " Don't flatter yourself." "I-l-I was following her!" "I always do." "How the hell do you think I got rid of the last guy..." "Brett?" "Br... wait." "Brett?" "Are you sayin' that Brett didn't say those things about Warren?" "Are you shittin' me?" "Mr Goody Two-Shoes?" "(scoffs) He was like an eagle scout!" "Wait a minute!" "... she might have married that schmuck!" "I feel sick." "Both of you are just..." "I'm outta here." "(sighs)" "Woogie?" "Who the hell is Woogie?" "Hello." "What are... what are you doing here?" "Mar?" "The one about Ted?" "Y -you sent that?" "Mm-hmm." "I was worried about you." "you know you're not supposed to be within 400 yards of me." "in fact." "That's... that's what I really wanted to talk to you about." "You know that I have actually been through... ..nine years of intensive psychotherapy and you know something?" "You were absolutely right." "I needed help." "Woogie." "I'm glad you're doing better." "You... you look..." "You look good." "Thank you." "right?" "huh?" "These are called love blisters." "... huh?" "OK?" "I don't even know how you found me." "OK?" "I had to change my name." "I had to go to court." "I moved!" "you stole all of my shoes!" "What?" "!" "What are you talking about?" "!" "I caught you red-handed!" "Mary." "(crying) Come on." "OK?" "a little... (jabbers) But I'm fine." "... ..you're starting to make me a little nervous." "Ooh!" "I'm making you feel nervous." "Nervous... what's that?" "I don't know anything about nervous." "Ehhh!" "Jeez." "Mary?" "Hmm?" "I'm asking you to leave." "... you got this all wrong." "I'm not going anywhere." "Mm-mmm." "Until I get something to remember you by." "Aah!" "(Mary and Woogie arguing)" "(Mary) Stop it!" "Stop!" "you heartless bitch!" "Huh?" "Whoa!" "What the... hey!" "Oh..." "Dom?" "You're pathetic." "Tucker... what happened to your crutches?" "yeah..." "Mary." "Well done." "pizza boy." "Um... (sighs)" "(without accent) Name's Norm." "I live with my folks up in Pompano." "Hey." "man!" "This is like group therapy or somethin'!" "Dom!" "What are you doin' here?" "You stole her from me and now I want her back." "I stole her from you?" "What are you..." "what are you talkin' about?" "Mm-hmm." "Woogie!" "How many times did I tell you this at Princeton?" "Woogie?" "Ted and I had one date." "You and I were already broken up!" "You're Woogie?" "Dom Wooganowski." "But... you're married." "beautiful kids." "be my guest." "what the hell is going on in here?" "Can someone explain it to me?" "we're..." "we're all in love with Mary." "God." "I have a proposal." "I say none of us leaves this room... ..till our young Mary here stops jerkin' us around  ..who she really wants." "I know this is tough... ..but you really will be doing them all a great favour... ..to tell them the truth about us." "Are you crazy?" "anyhow?" "You're a murderer!" "Uh..." "Mary." "Sorry." "Whoa!" "Whoa-ho!" "Whoa-ho-ho!" "Touchdown!" "Mary." "Brett?" "What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?" "you dumbass." "Mary." "I told him to pick up Warren and get down here." "your friend Tucker was lying about a couple of other things." "Brett never said those bad things about Warren." "He loves Warren." "... too." "He's the guy you should be with." "(scoffs) God." "Mary." "You know I'll always be true to you." "shit!" "This isn't fair." "Jesus!" "I feel like an idiot." "I realised somethin' today." "I'm no better than any of these guys." "really." "They're just... they're just... because of how... ..you make them feel about themselves." "that's not real love." "That's... (sighs)" "I don't know what that is." "don't listen to him!" "This is just another one of his stupid little ploys." "you are so full of shit!" "man!" "You're gonna stand here and tell me... ..that you're not nuts about this girl?" "that's what I'm tellin' you." "Oh!" "Brett." "Yeah." "Thank you." "She's a great gal." "Take care of her." "Mary." "Ted." "see ya later." "Ted." "(Warren) Goodbye." "I've missed you." "Brett." "What are the chances I could get you... huh?" "Somethin' nice for the wife and kids." "What?" "!" "shut up." "Cock tease." "(sobbing)" "(alternative guitar rock)" "she's back with her old boyfriend" "# He don't challenge her" "# He don't contend with her" "# And she don't answer the cards you send" "# And you're jealous of the time" "# That he spend with her" "# Just let her go into the darkness" "# Let her live for all the things there" "# Let her go into the darkness let her go" "(Mary) Ted!" "Mary?" "Ted!" "Mary!" "Ted!" "You forgot your keys." "Did you really mean what you said up there?" "Uh-huh." "Mary." "But I'd be happiest with you." "right?" "What..." "What about... ..Brett Fav... re?" "What did I tell you the first time we met?" "I'm a niners fan." "Heh." "# His friends would say stop whinin'" "# They've had enough of that" "# His friends would say stop pinin'" "# There's other girls to look at" "# They've tried to set him up" "# With Tiffany and lndigo" "# But there's somethin' about Mary" "# That they don't know..." "What are you doing?" "That's my girl he's kissin'." "But you just slept with me!" "I was only boning' you to get to Mary." "Aaah!" "(gunshot)" "Aaah!" "(crying)" "4!" "8!" "Buttercup)" "# Why do you build me up?" "# Build me up just to let me down" "# Let me down and then worst of all" "# Worst of all baby when you say you will" "# Say you will still" "# I need you" "# I need you darlin'" "# You know that I have from the start" "# So build me up" "# Build me up don't break my heart" "ya told me time and again" "# But you're late" "# I wait around and then" "I can't take any more" "# It's not you" "# You let me down again hey try to find hey and I'll make you mine" "I'll be beside the phone" "# Waiting for you ooh ooh" "# Why do you build me up" "# Build me up just to let me down" "# Let me down and then worst of all" "# Worst of all when you say you will" "# Say you will still" "# I need you" "# I need you darlin'" "# You know that I have from the start" "# So build me up" "# Build me up don't break my heart" "but I could be the boy" "# You adore" "# If you'd just let me know" "I'm attracted to you" "# All the more" "# Why do I need ya so?" "hey try to find hey and I'll make you happy" "I'll be beside the phone" "# Waiting for you ooh ooh" "# Why do you build me up" "# Build me up just to let me down" "# Let me down and then worst of all" "# Worst of all when you say you will" "# Say you will still" "# I need you" "# I need you darlin'" "# You know that I have from the start" "# So build me up" "# Build me up don't break my heart" "# l-l-I need you baby... (talking and laughing)" "(new song begins)" "# You found me" "# When I wasn 't lookin '" "# One kiss" "# Right between the eyes" "# A stranger" "# I feel I've known my whole life" "# You held me" "# Up to the sky oh" "# It's the way you look" "# And the way you walk" "# It's the way you touch me" "# And the way you say nothin '" "# It's the way you look" "# And the way you walk" "# It's the way you touch me" "# And the way you say nothin ' at all" "# Take me" "# Down to the river" "# And drown me" "# Drown me in your love" "# I'm breathin '" "# Breathin ' underwater" "# You're floatin '" "# Floatin ' up above oh" "# It's the way you look" "# And the way you walk" "# It's the way you touch me" "# And the way you say nothin '" "# It's the way you look" "# And the way you walk" "# It's the way you touch me" "# And the way you say nothin ' at all" "# It's the way you look" "# And the way you walk" "# It's the way you touch me" "# And the way you say nothin '" "# It's the way you look" "# And the way you walk" "# It's the way you touch me" "# And the way you say nothin '" "# It's the way you look" "# And the way you walk" "# It's the way you touch me" "# And the way you say nothin '" "# It's the way you look" "# And the way you walk" "# It's the way you touch me"