"Grr!" "I'm sure there's a logical explanation." "Someone is stealing all the water to sell it back to us!" "I'm onto you, you greedy, draconian overlords!" "You will rue this day!" "And the next few days!" "And eventually forever!" "So the water's been goin' on and off all day." "Have you seen this?" "Heard about this?" "Hope the water department is doing something worthwhile, like rerouting it to Dr Eggman's bathtub!" "Ha!" " (Chuckling)" " I need to see the news!" "It's the story everyone has been changing the channel to see." "The grand opening of the giant scissor factory." "It is my honour to welcome the giant scissor factory" " to our village." " (Cheering)" "Let's see, here." "This may take a while, folks..." "Why didn't they talk about the water crisis?" "Maybe it's just a plumbing issue." "Anything's possible, which is why I choose to believe it's an evil government plot!" "Our elected officials are here to help us." "They're smart, hard-working public servants with a passion for helping the common man." "Steady..." "One wrong move and no discount corn for me." "If only I had a smaller pair of scissors." " The people demand the truth!" " And I demand bargains!" "Forget about the coupons and pay attention to the water crisis!" "It says buy two, get one free." "Does that mean one of the two is free, or do I end up with three altogether?" "I should've known Amy was setting up a Gilligan flip!" " I'm gonna find..." " No, no!" "Don't do another Gilligan flip!" "Those are really painful!" "..a crusading journalist to blow the lid off of this water scheme!" "(Screams)" " Mmm-hmm." " I've an important news story!" "The water supply is being stolen!" "Interesting." "So, why come to me?" "Because you're a journalist!" "And as a journalist, you're supposed to expose the truth, be the voice of the people and do what's right!" " And you might get an award." " An award, huh?" "That'll show my father." "All right, I'll do it!" "As soon as I finish this sandwich." "It's the question we've all been wanting to ask the mayor." "How are those puppies he adopted?" "He's doing another fluff piece!" "They're so adorable, you know." "Except for this one." "You know what you did." "This is what happens when society expects nothing of its journalists!" "The people must be told what's going on, even if I have to broadcast the news myself!" "Hear, ye!" "Hear, ye!" "Beware, good townsfolk." "Our water supply diminishes as I speak!" "Becoming a town crier isn't the best way to fight the media." "You should try something more high-tech." "Technology is the enemy!" "But maybe the enemy of my enemy is my friend." "Or is the enemy of my enemy my double enemy?" "Either way, time to fight fire with fire." "Or double fire." "Thanks for helping me get my pirate radio station going." "Sticks and technology, sittin' in a tree," "I-N-T-E-R-F-A-C-I-N-G." "It's not my first choice." "But sometimes you gotta compromise to get the truth out." "That's pretty well reasoned." "Sure you don't wanna add a time-travelling banana" " told you to do it?" " No." "Huh." "Go figure." "We go live in three, two, one..." "This is Sticks the Badger, and I shall bring you the truth!" "The truth, the truth, the truth!" "Actually, I can't handle the truth." "Wake up, people!" "Our water is disappearing and don't expect the media to tell you, 'cause they're in the pocket of big business!" "We must ask ourselves, who stands to gain?" "In this case, the answer is Eggman." "Let's take a caller." "Dr Eggman's schemes aren't fiscally motivated." "They're barely motivated, period." " Haven't you seen this show?" " You know what?" "I'll prove it." "By this time tomorrow, you'll all believe me." "Sticks over and out!" "We need proof of what Eggman's up to." "But we gotta catch him by surprise." "When we jump, remember to catch me." "That's a crucial part of the plan." "We never discussed that!" "Get footage!" "This is Sticks, and I've jumped out of an aeroplane to prove to you all that I'm not crazy!" "This water-siphoning scheme will make me millions!" "Unless I get caught red-handed." "That'd be a publicity nightmare." "The shareholders would throw a fit!" " Aha!" "Busted!" " My new year's resolution should be to stop announcing my plans." "I told you Eggman was stealing our water!" "Actually, I told them." "But that's on me." "I'm gonna build an evil-plan announcement filter that will..." "Argh!" "This water-siphoning scheme will make me millions!" "I bet now you people are listening to me!" "Argh!" "Stop listening to me!" "Oh, right." "We have a caller." "At first, I had no reason to believe that Dr Eggman would be up to no good." "But now that it's being yelled at me by someone who's outraged," " I'm outraged!" " Ow!" "I should've listened to her sooner." "And I should've ordered the soup." "Oh, why do I always make the wrong choices in life?" "Sticks, over and out!" "The only thing being siphoned faster than the water" " is our ratings!" " I'm telling you, Dixon," ""real news" is "in." Just like "quote fingers."" "I have a half-baked idea." "Let's fire Soar and replace him with this Sticks character." " Sticks!" " Aaah!" "No need to get up." "I'm Dixon, from the network." "We love what you're doing and want to offer you your own television show!" "I'll never join you." "Because you're the man, man!" "But moving from radio to TV will increase your audience." "More people will hear your message!" "More people will hear the truth!" "I don't know." "This stranger is making me uncomfortable." "Well, you did say," ""Sometimes you gotta compromise your principles to get the truth out."" "This is Sticks the Badger, live at the mayor's office." "I'll find out what he knew about the water scandal and when he knew it." "What do you have to say for yourself?" "I don't feel well." "I ate too much corn." "You made the mayor look like a fool and destroyed all faith in our government." "And the viewers are eating it up!" "Great work!" "Ratings are "through the roof!" Not literally." "That's why I did "this."" "Your show couldn't be better." "We just have a couple of notes to make it better." " Notes?" " Nothing major." "We just thought, now you've destroyed faith in government, maybe you can do a "happy" story to cheer everyone up again." "I don't really do "happy"." "And we agreed to tell the truth!" "Hey!" "Sometimes people are happy!" " That's the truth!" " I just don't want to sell out." "You're not selling out!" "You're being a "team player"." "I don't know." "As a great broadcaster once said," ""Sometimes you gotta compromise your principles to get the truth out."" "I'm back at the mayor's office, where his puppies just had puppies." "They must've laid eggs, because now there's three times as many!" "OK, I debased myself and did a happy story." "Now I wanna go back to investigating Eggman." "No problem." "Just one "problem"." "Eggman Industries is your new sponsor." "But he's a villain!" "You don't need to do anything "different"." "You just have to do it with this hat." "We're live on the scene of a terrible accident." "Oh, it's not that bad." "You'd be surprised how often this happens to me." "Go on, exploit my misfortune." "Nice hat, by the way." "I can't do this!" "I've compromised my principles to the point that they've become meaningless!" "I can't be trusted." "I'm the man, man!" " She sold out!" "Get her!" " But I did it to help you!" "I don't need help." "Help!" " We have to blame someone." " No!" "We all have a responsibility to find the truth for ourselves!" "You shouldn't just do what someone from the TV" " tells you to do." " So what should we do?" " Fight the power!" " (War cries)" "Everybody chill!" "Oh, that was easier than I thought." "(Screaming)" "Behold!" "The Mega Microwave Water Vaporizer!" "Watch in terror as your beloved water is vaporized by microwaves!" "It needs to be hovering above the ocean to work, but I wanted to show it to you first." " I did it again!" " This is your worst plan yet." "Really?" "You think so?" "I meant worst as in worst conceived." "Stop trying to take our water!" "No!" "Water isn't a public right." "It should be privatised and sold by someone smarter, richer and handsomer than all of you." "Sorry, Eggy, we're gonna stop you." "No." "We are!" "Get him!" "(Battle cries)" "I should have built better defences into that thing." "That'll be my new new year's resolution." "Sticks, you got the truth out there, fought the power, and brought about change!" "What do you want to say to your fans?" " I quit!" " Really?" "You're quitting?" "I can get my old job back?" "I hope when you do, you realise how powerful the truth can be." "You're right." "I'll never waste that power again." "It's been one day since the puppies' puppies gave birth to puppy grandpuppies!" "(Slurps)"