" Ready?" "Okay." " Yeah." " Hi." "Rachel." "Phoebe's." " It's." "And." " Please." " Leave." "Leave." "But I just said "leave."" "Yeah, I know, because you have all the good words." "What do I get?" "I get "it's, and." Oh, I'm sorry, I have "A." Forget it." " Come on, that's silly." " All right." "So let's switch." "No, I have all the good words." "Okay, fine, fine." "We can switch." " Okay." " Okay." " Hi." " Everybody." " It's." " Rachel." " And." " Phoebe's." "Pleas..." "Wait." "How did you do that?" "What?" "Oh, you're no ordinary roommate, are you?" "Phoebe, come on, can we finish this later?" "I wanna go running before it gets dark." " Why don't you come with me?" " Really?" "Yeah, oh, it'll be fun." "We'll run in the park." "It'll be like our first, you know, roommate-bonding thing." "Okay, let's go running!" " Yeah, and there's cute guys there." " Let's run towards them!" "Okay." "Wait just one more second." "Hi, it's Phoebe and Rachel's." "Please leave a message." "Thanks!" "Now, wait a minute." "You just took all the words." "Uh-huh." "You've met your match, Rachel Green." " So I just finished this fascinating book." " Hmm." "By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain." "So, theoretically, you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and live forever as a machine." "And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open." " Hey." "BOTH:" "Hey." "Honey, it was a great idea, nailing the boxes to the floor." " I didn't nail the boxes to the floor." " Oh, so you can move them." "Yes." "Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you." "Hey, everybody." "Uh, I'd like you to meet Janine." "She's gonna be my new roommate." " Hi." "JANINE:" "Hi." "And she's gonna live with me!" "It's nice to meet you." "Janine?" "Lecroix." "Janine Lecroix." "I didn't know that." "What a pretty last name." "So, uh, where are you from?" "Australia." "I just moved here a couple of weeks ago." " From the land down under?" " Yeah." "I didn't know that either." "So, what do you do?" " I'm a dancer." " You're a dancer?" "She's a dancer." " Well, I think I'll go and unpack." " Here, let me..." "[GROANS]" " Joey?" "JOEY:" "Yeah?" "Did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?" " Of course I did." " Uh-huh." "What exactly did you ask her?" "When can you move in?" "Thank you for bringing her into our lives." "Unbelievable." "Oh." "Oh, so you like her too, Chandler?" "Hey, look at all the boxes." "I cannot wait to ask her out." "Wait a minute, Joey." "Joey, you can't ask her out." "She's your roommate." "It'll be way too complicated." "Yeah, man, don't do it." "I mean, if you date her, then I can't date her." "Think about it." "Remember when you were going out with Donna and you broke up remember how horrible it was when you bumped into her at the supermarket?" "Oh, God, yeah." "Now imagine you live at the supermarket." "Okay." " No, no." " Oh." "Oh." "You're right." "I don't want that." "I can't date her." "And you'd better watch the flirting too, because in close quarters it could be trouble." " Well, that's gonna be tough, Mon." "I mean, it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt." "Heh." "Well, you're around me all the time, and you don't flirt." "A little sad about that, sweetie?" "I have to tie my shoes, so you go ahead." "I'll catch up." " Okay." "PHOEBE:" "Okay." "Come on, that's not running." "Let's go!" "You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs she looks like a cross between Kermit the Frog and the Six Million Dollar Man." "Monica had such a crush on him." "Ha, ha." "She used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed." "I used to do that too." "Oh, my God." "Did you also have his album, It's Not Easy Being Green?" "Oh, Mon." "So Phoebe runs weird, huh?" "Yeah." "And you know what?" "And I know she's gonna want to run again." "I don't know how to get out of it." "I mean, I live with her." "Why don't you just be straight with her?" "Tell her the truth." "You're right." "You're right." "I should just tell her the truth." " Hey." "ROSS  MONICA:" "Hey." "Hey, Pheebs, Monica tripped me." "I don't think I can ever run again, ever." "Why?" "Why would you do that?" "I don't know." "Rachel, I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles." " Ankle." " We'll see." "CHANDLER:" "Okay." "I am officially unpacked." "Thanks for helping me, man." "Joe?" "[JOEY GIGGLES]" "Well, I guess Joey went home." "Oh, and look, there is still one box that I have to unpack." "[JOEY GIGGLES]" "I got you." "[LAUGHING]" "Oh, my God, you almost gave me a heart attack." "It was so hard not to laugh, I'll tell you." "Hey, the place looks great." "Yeah, not bad, right?" "You know what?" "Monica's working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless." "You know what else I'm gonna do?" "I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers." "Now, who would not want to live with me?" "I don't." "No, I want to live with the super-hot Australian dancer." "How's that going, though?" "Are you okay with the not-flirting thing?" "Yeah, so far." "Yeah." "But it's tough, you know?" "I've got all this built-up flirting energy, and I don't know how to get rid of it." "How you doing?" "[VOICE CRACKS] Oh, man." "Sorry." "There's just more room out here." "Oh, no, no, you just, uh, reminded me that I have to do my stretches too." " Why don't you try to be?" " Aah!" " What's wrong?" " Uh, nothing." "I just..." "I didn't want you to touch me because I'm all sweaty from the workout." "Ha, ha." "I'm gonna hit the shower." "Oh, my God." "Oh, sorry about that stuff hanging in there." "It's just my thongs are too delicate for the dryer." "[MUMBLES]" "RACHEL:" "Aah!" "PHOEBE:" "Hi." "Oh, yeah, uh-huh, it's me." "I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out." "You lied so you could run by yourself." "No, Phoebe, no." "I was..." "No." "I was actually just checking to see if I could run." "And I can." "Please, Rachel, I'm not an idiot." "No, wait." "Phoebe?" "Wow." "Couples who live together do start to look alike." "So, Mondler..." "Uh..." "What, uh...?" "What are you doing?" "What does it look like?" "I am cleaning." "Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?" "Authorizat..." "I don't need that." "I'm gonna put everything back." "Put it back exactly where you found it?" "Yes." "I'm gonna put it back exactly where I found it." "Okay, first of all, that attitude is not helping." "She won't care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place." "Hello?" "Did you just meet Monica?" "She's gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and appreciate it." "Huh." "No, actually, this will work out well." "Because when you have to move back with Joey Joey's hot new roommate can come live with me." "Oh, I see, I see." "You're trying to freak me out." "Look, Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind of stuff, all right?" "Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years." "She's going to freak out." "Oh, my God." "She's going to sit on you." "No, she is not, okay?" "I'll prove it to you." "I'm gonna call her right now." "Phone's done." "MONICA:" "Hi." " Hey, Mon." "How's it going?" "Terrible." "If I want something done right, I have to do it myself." "Other people just wreck stuff." "I really think I might kill someone tonight." "Oh, come on, come on, it can't be that bad." "It's worse." "The only thing getting me through is knowing I'm gonna see you soon." " I might get out of here early." " No." "No, no, no." "No, no, it sounds like they need you there." " You're just hanging out with Ross?" " It's all good." "Okay, bye, Mon." "She's gonna kill me." "The phone was facing the other way." "And that goes back up there." "Know what we should do?" "We should start with the big stuff." "That'll be the easiest." "So, uh, let's start with the couch." "I got it." "Yeah, that doesn't look right." "What are you talking about?" "The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet." "Then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on..." "Okay, here's what we do." "We just move the couch closer to the coffee table." "But then the back of the couch won't line up with the back of the carpet." "Okay, well, here, we'll just, uh, move the coffee table closer to the couch." "No, whoa, whoa!" "But then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area." "But the coffee table doesn't match the table..." "Ross." "Hi." "Look, what am I gonna do?" "I'm not flirting, but still I'm drawing her to me like a moth to a flame." "What the hell's going on over here?" "Monica's gonna kill you." "Look, I need your help, okay?" "I have to do something to repel this woman." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "You guys repel women all the time." "Hey, I've been married three times." "No, no, no, I've seen it happen." "You get a rapport going with a woman, but somehow you manage to kill it." "What's your secret?" "Look, we do not repel women, okay?" "That is completely untrue." "Oh, yes, we do, my man." "Remember back in college when we went to that dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and couldn't stop talking about the Irish potato famine?" "Yeah, well, what about you?" "You weren't so hot in college either." "After everything he said, he'd go:" "[MIMICS DRUM FILL]" "Yeah, Monica doesn't like that either." "Maybe I should stop doing that." "You know what?" "Girls don't like it when I start talking about science." "That's not specific to girls." "This is great." "This is great." "What else?" "They don't like you correcting their grammar." "And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny." "You know, they don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you." " Man, I am so lucky I have Monica." " I'm never gonna find love again." "Hey." " Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?" " Sure." "Okay." "Um, I..." "Phoebe, look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, okay?" "I handled the situation horribly." "And I should not have lied to you." "So what should you have done?" "Well, I should have told you the truth." "Uh-huh." "Which is?" "Well, you know, the reason that I didn't want to go running with you is because, um well, you know, the way that you run is just a little..." " So?" " Well, it's embarrassing." "People were looking at us like we were crazy." " Why do you care?" " Because they're people." "But people that you don't know and will never see again." "Yes, but still they are people with eyes." "Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss:" "Choo, choo, choo, choo." "But, oh, okay." "No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you." "Yeah, okay." "You're uptight." "What?" "I am not uptight." "Whoa." "Listen, I am not uptight, man." "That's okay, Rachel." "I'm not judging you." "That's just who you are." "Me, I'm more free, you know?" "I run like I did when I was a kid because that's the only way it's fun, you know?" "I mean, didn't you ever run so fast you thought your legs would fall off you know, like, when you were running towards the swings or running away from Satan?" "The neighbor's dog." "Okay, is this lamp in the right place?" "Who cares?" "I repel women." "No, no, no!" "You can't come in here." "Ross is naked!" "MONICA:" "What?" " What?" "I couldn't say that I was naked, because she's allowed to see me naked." "Why does anyone have to be naked?" "MONICA:" "Why is Ross naked?" "I had to show Chandler something." "MONICA:" "Naked?" "Yeah, I uh..." "I guess I have, a, uh..." "A guy problem." "MONICA:" "Is it the same thing that Chandler had?" "Look, just come back later." "We'll get everything squared away, and you can come back later." "MONICA:" "Okay." "Hey, listen." "There's still some of Chandler's medicine left under the sink in the bathroom." " Bye." " Bye." "Thank God." "Dude, what'd you have?" "Look, we have no time, okay?" "We must focus." "We've got to get everything back into its original place." "The photo album." "There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album." "We just go through it and match everything to the pictures." " That's perfect." "That's brilliant." " Yeah." "So really, what did you have?" "Hey, Joey." "I've got some beer for you." "Uh, don't you mean "for whom"?" "Sure." "Listen, I was gonna order some pizza." "You wanna share one?" "Pizza?" "It's not like I never had that before." "[MIMICS DRUM FILL]" "Is there something wrong?" "All right, all right." "Let's just get this out in the open, okay?" "You're hot." "I'm lovable." "Clearly, there's a vibe going on between us." "But we're roommates and it's a huge mistake for us to continue down this road." " Joey..." " No, no, no." "I'm telling you." "Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you'll understand." "Okay?" "So the question is, what do we do?" "Well, I don't think there is anything to do." "I mean, I think you're really sweet." "But I'm just not interested in you like that." "Oh." "No, I mean..." "You're a really nice guy, and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend." "I'm just, you know, I just don't feel that way about you." "Oh." "I see what happened." "Ha, ha." "It's because I was trying to repel you." "Right?" "Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on." " I don't think so." " Oh, I do." "How you doing?" "I'm okay." "What?" "Oh, dear God." "Choo, choo, choo." "RACHEL:" "Hey!" "PHOEBE:" "Hi!" "I'm so sorry." "You're right." "This feels great." "See?" "And you don't care if people are staring." "It's just for a second, because then you're gone." "It's amazing, Pheebs." "I feel so free and so graceful." "Oh!" "[WHINNIES]" "Ha!" "Hey, look out for the horse." "Sorry." "Is it okay for me to come in now?" "Uh-huh." " Why is everything different?" " Bye." "I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it." "[CHUCKLES]" "Well, the end table is wrong, the couch looks bizarre and don't even get me started on the refrigerator magnets." "Okay, look, don't be mad, okay?" "But after I unpacked the boxes, I wanted to do something nice for you so I cleaned the apartment." "So I moved everything around, and then I forgot where it went back." "And I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "That's okay." "Chandler, are you afraid of me or something?" "Do you want me to be afraid of you?" "Of course not." "My gosh, Chandler, what you did is a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it." "I know I have this thing where I want everything in the perfect place." "But I'd never expect you to worry about that." "Really?" "Of course." "Oh, you're the best." "You come here to me." "Hold on, okay?" "First things first." "Okay." "Now..." "Did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked?" "So it said that by the year 2030 there will be computers carrying out the same number of functions as an actual human brain." "So theoretically, you could download your thoughts and your memories into this computer..." "And live forever as a machine." "Uh, so, Janine, do you know what we're doing right now?" "You and I, we're interfacing." "Yeah." "I gotta go." "[MIMICS DRUM FILL]" "[English" " US" " SDH]"