"So that's, you know, coming along." "I'm working with a vocal coach, strengthening the..." "A lot guys ignore the laugh." "And that's about standards." "I mean, if you're gonna get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorable laugh." "What?" "Do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny?" "His terrible death-whinny." "No response, BTW, from the League yet, but my application is strong this year." "A letter of condemnation from the Deputy Mayor." "That's gotta have some weight, so... fingers crossed." "Emails." ""2sly4u" writes" ""Hey, genius--"" "Wow, sarcasm!" "That's original." ""Where are the gold bars you were supposed" ""to pull out of that bank vault with your Transmatter Ray?" "Obviously it failed or it would be in the papers."" "Well, no, they're not gonna say anything in the press." "But behold." "Transported from there, to here!" "The molecules tend to... shift during the transmatter... event." "But... they were transported in bar form, and they clearly were" "And by the way, it's not about making money." "It's about taking money." "Destroying the status quo, because the status is not quo." "This world is a mess, and I just... need to rule it." "I'm gonna" "Smells like cumin." "So Transmatter is 75% and more importantly, the Freeze Ray is almost up." "This is the one." "Stops time." "Freeze Ray." "Tell your friends." "We have..." "Here's one from our good friend Johnny Snow" ""Dr. Horrible," ""l see you are once again afraid to do battle" ""with your nemesis." "I waited at Dooley Park for 45 minutes."" "Okay." "Dude." "You're not my nemesis." "My nemesis... is Captain Hammer." "Captain Hammer, corporate tool." "Dislocated my shoulder... again, last week." "Look, I'm just trying to change the world, okay?" "I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka." "Besides, there's kids in that park." "So..." "Here's one from "DeadNotSleeping"" ""Long time watcher, first time writing--"" ""You always say in your blog" ""that you will show her the way." ""Show her you are a true villain." ""Who is 'her' and...does she even know that you're..."" "Laundry day" "See you there" "Underthings" "Tumbling" "Wanna say" "Love your hair" "Here I go" "Mumbling" "With my Freeze Ray, I will stop" "The world" "With my Freeze Ray, I will" "Find the time to find the words to" "Tell you how" "How you make" "Make me feel" "What's the phrase?" "Like a fool" "Kinda sick" "Special needs" "Anyways" "With my Freeze Ray, I will stop" "The pain lt's not a Death Ray or an ice Beam" "That's all Johnny Snow I just think you need time to know" "That I'm the guy to make it real" "The feelings you don't dare to feel I'll bend the world to our will" "And we'll make time stand still" "That's the plan" "Rule the world" "You and me" "Any day" "Love your hair" " What?" " No." "l--l-- l love the air." "Anyway" "With my Freeze Ray, I will stop" "Hey, Doc." "Moist!" "My evil, moisture buddy." "What's going on?" "Life of crime." "Got your mail." "Hey, didn't you, uh-- didn't you go on a date last night?" "Conflict Diamond told me you were doubling with Bait and Switch." "Yeah." "Yeah?" "It was all right." "I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with Bait, but-- l hear you." "I saw Penny today." "You talk to her?" "So close." "I'm just a few weeks away from a real, audible connection." "I'm-- l'm gonna ask" "Oh, my God." "is that from the League?" "It's from him." "That's his seal, isn't it?" "The" " The leader?" "Oh, my God." "I got a letter from Bad Horse." "That's so hardcore." "Bad Horse is legend." "He rules the League with an iron hoof." "Are you sure you wanna" " Bad Horse" " Bad Horse" "Bad Horse, Bad Horse" "He rides across the nation" "The Thoroughbred of Sin" "He got the application that you just sent in lt needs evaluation, so let the games begin" "A heinous crime, A show of force" "A murder would be nice of course" "Bad Horse, Bad Horse" "Bad Horse, he's bad" "The Evil League of Evil is watching so beware" "The grade that you receive will be your last we swear" "So make the Bad Horse gleeful" "Or he'll make you his mare" "You're saddled up, there's no recourse" " lt's - "Hi-Yo, Silver!"" "Signed Bad Horse lt's not a no." "Are you kidding?" "This is great!" "I am about to pull a major heist." "You know the wonderflonium that I need for the Freeze Ray?" "It's being transported tomorrow." "Armored car?" "Courier van." "Candy from a baby." "You need anything dampened or made soggy?" "Thanks, but... the League is watching." "I gotta go this alone." "Will you lend a caring hand" "To shelter those who need it?" "Only have to sign your name" "Don't even have to read it" "Would you help?" "No?" "How about you?" "Will you lend a caring" "What?" "I was wondering if I could just..." "Hey. I know you." "Hello." "You know me?" "Cool." "I mean...yeah, you do." "Do you?" "From the Laundromat." "Wednesdays and Saturdays." "Except twice last month you skipped the weekend." "Or if that was you." "It could have been someone else." "I mean, I've seen you." "Billy, is my name." "I'm Penny." "What are you doing?" "Texting." "It's very important or I would stop." "What are you doing?" "Actually, I'm out here volunteering for The Caring Hands Homeless Shelter." "Can you spare a minute?" "Okay, go." "Okay." "Um, we're hoping to open a new location soon-- expand our efforts." "There's this great building nearby that the city is just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot." "But if we get enough signatures" "Signatures?" "Yeah." "I'm sorry, go on." "I was saying, maybe we could get the city to donate the building to our cause." "We would be able to provide 250 new beds" "Get people off the streets and into job training so they can buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become florists." "You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?" "No, I am." "But they're a symptom." "You're treating a symptom." "And the disease rages on, consumes the human race." "The fish rots from the head, as they say, so my thinking is why not cut off the head." "Of the human race?" "It's not a perfect metaphor." "But I'm talking about an overhaul of the system." "Putting the power in... different hands." "I'm all for that." "This petition is about the building." "I'd love to sign it." "Thank you." "I'm sorry, l-- l come on strong." "But you signed." "Well, wouldn't want to turn my back on a fellow..." "laundry...person." "Well, if we can't stick together, I don't" "I'll probably see you there." "No, I will. I'll" "She talked to me." "Why did she talk to me now?" "Maybe I should..." "A man's gotta do" "What a man's gotta do" "Don't plan the plan lf you can't follow through" "All that matters" "Taking matters into your own hands" "Soon I'll control everything" "Stop!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "My wish is your command" "Stand back everyone" "Nothing here to see" "Just imminent danger ln the middle of it, me" "Yes, Captain Hammer's here" "Hair blowing in the breeze" "The day needs my saving expertise" "A man's gotta do" "What a man's gotta do" "Seems destiny" "Ends with me saving you" "The only doom that's looming ls you loving me to death" "So I'll give you a sec to catch your breath" "You idiot!" "Dr. Horrible. I should have known you were behind this." " You almost killed her!" " I remember it differently." "is she-- lt's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible." "Lacy, gently wafting curtains." "Thank you, Hammer man I don't think I can" "Explain how important it was" "That you stopped the van I would be splattered." "I'd be crushed under debris" "Thank you, sir, for saving me" "Don't worry about it." "A man's gotta do" "What a man's gotta do" "You came from above" "Are you kidding?" "Seems destiny ends" "What heist were you watching?" "With me saving you" "l wonder what you're captain of" "Stop looking at her like that!" "When you're the best" "Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?" "My heart is beating like a drum" "His ass needs kicking" "Some ticking bomb to diffuse" "I stopped the van" "The remote control was in my hand" "The only doom that's looming" "Assuming I'm not" "Whatever" "Loving you to death" "So please give me a sec to catch my breath" "Balls." "Any dolt with half a brain" "Can see that humankind has gone insane" "To the point where l don't know lf l'll upset the status quo lf l throw poison in the water main" "Listen close to everybody's heart" "And hear that breaking sound" "Hopes and dreams are shattering apart" "And crashing to the ground I cannot believe my eyes" "How the world's filled with filth and lies" "But it's plain to see" "Evil inside of me ls on the rise" "Look around" "We're living with the lost and found" "Just when you feel you've almost drowned" "You find yourself on solid ground" "And you believe there's good in everybody's heart" "Keep it safe and sound" "With hope, you can do your part" "To turn a life around I cannot believe my eyes ls the world finally growing wise" "'Cause it seems to me" "Some kind of harmony ls on the rise" " Anyone with half a brain" " Take it slow" " He looks at me" " Could spend their whole life" " And seems to know" " Howling in pain" " The things that I'm afraid to show - 'Cause the dark is everywhere" "And Penny doesn't seem to care" " And suddenly I feel this glow" " That soon the dark in me ls all that will remain" " And I believe there's good in" " Listen close to" "Everybody's heart" " Keep it safe and" " Hear that breaking" "Sound" " With hope, you can do" " Hopes and dreams are shattering" " Your part" " Apart" " To turn a life around" " And crashing to the ground I cannot believe my eyes" "How the world's" " Finally growing wise" " Filled with filth and lies" " But it's plain to see" " And it's plain to see" "Evil inside of me" "Rapture inside of me ls on the rise" "It is so dumb that we've been coming here so long and never spoke." "I know." "All those months doing a stunningly boring chore." "I'm a fan of laundry." "Psych!" "I love it." "The smell of fabric softener." "Mmm." "The feel of warm clothes in your hands." "So good." "Hey, this is weird." "I ordered one frozen yogurt, and they gave me two." "You don't happen to like frozen yogurt do you?" "l love it." "You're kidding." "What a crazy, random happenstance." "Here." "Thank you." "So, how was your weekend?" "Did you spend the whole time hunting wild signatures?" "Um, actually, I went on a date." "Get right outta town." "How was that?" "Unexpected." "He's a really good-looking guy, and I thought he was kind of cheesy at first" "Trust your instincts." "But he turned out to be totally sweet." "Sometimes people are layered like that." "There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface." "And sometimes there's a third, even deeper level." "And that one is the same as the top, surface one." "Huh?" "Like with pie." "So you gonna see him again?" "I think I will." "Ohh." "Billy?" "Yeah?" "You're driving the spork into your leg." "So I am." "Hilarious!" "All right." "The wait is over." "This, my friends, is my Freeze Ray." "Which, with the addition of the wonderflonium, I obtained at my famously successful heist last week." "I say successful in that I achieved my objective." "It was less successful in that I inadvertently introduced my arch-nemesis to the girl of my dreams, and now he's taking her out on dates, and they're probably going to French kiss or something." "She called him sweet." "How is he sweet?" "Right!" "Freeze Ray." "So, as of tonight, I am in the Evil League of Evil if all goes according to plan, which it will, because I hold a Ph.D. in Horribleness." "See you at the aftermath." "Peace." "But not literally." "The Freeze Ray needs work." "I also need to be a little bit more careful about what I say on this blog." "Apparently the L.A.P.D. and Captain Hammer are among our viewers." "They were waiting for me at the Mayor's dedication of the Superhero Memorial Bridge." "The Freeze Ray takes a few seconds to warm up, and I wasn't" "Captain Hammer threw a car at my head." "Not to worry, though, because I'm" "Oh, one sec." "He saw the operation" "You tried to pull today" "But your humiliation" "Means he still votes nay" "And now assassination is just the only way" "There will be blood, it might be yours" "So go kill someone, signed Bad Horse" "Kill someone?" "Would you do it?" "To get into the Evil League of Evil?" "Look at me, man. I'm Moist." "At my most badass, I make people feel like they want to take a shower." "I'm not E.L.E. material." "Killing's not elegant or creative." "It's not my style." "You've got more than enough evil hours to get into the Henchman's Union." "I'm not a henchman." "I'm Dr. Horrible." "I've got a Ph.D. in Horribleness." "is that the new catch-phrase?" "I deserve to get in." "You know I do." "But killing?" "Really?" "Hourglass says she knows a kid in Iowa who grows up to become president." "That'd be big." "I'm not gonna kill a little kid." "Smother an old lady?" "Do I even know you?" "I just, you know, really think I'm qualified for this-- this job, and I just can't get my foot in the door." "I'm sure you will." "I wanna do great things, you know?" "I wanna be an achiever, like Bad Horse." "The Thoroughbred of Sin?" "I meant Gandhi." "Well, I've gotten turned down from plenty ofjobs." "Even fired a few times." "I can't imagine anybody firing you." "Neither could I." "Now I can visualize it really well." "But you know, everything happens" "Don't say "for a reason."" "No, I'm just saying that everything happens." "Not to me." "Here's a story of a girl" "Who grew up lost and lonely" "Thinking love was fairytale" "And trouble was made only for me" "Even in the darkness" "Every color can be found" "And every day of rain" "Brings water flowing to things" "Growing in the ground" "Grief replaced with pity" "For a city barely coping" "Dreams are easy to achieve lf hope is all I'm hoping to be" "Anytime you're hurt there's one" "Who has it worse around" "And every drop of rain" "Will keep you growing" "Seeds you're sowing in the ground" "So keep your head up, Billy, buddy lt's like Captain Hammer is always saying" "Right, him." "How are things with cheesy-on-the-outside?" "Good." "They're good." "He's nice." "I'll be interested to know what you think of him." "He said he might stop by." "Stop by here?" "Yeah." "Oh, goodness." "Look at my wrist." "I gotta go." "But" "But, what about your clothes?" "I don't love these." "See ya!" "Oh, pardon." "Pardon." "Billy, this is Captain Hammer." "Oh, Billy, the laundry buddy." "Well it is very nice to meet you." "We're meeting now for the first time." "You look horribly familiar." "One of those faces, I guess." "Have I seen you at the gym?" "At the gym." "I don't go to the gym." "I'm just naturally like this." "Oh, well." "Who wants to know what the Mayor is doing behind closed doors?" "He is signing over a certain building to a Caring Hands group as a new homeless shelter." "Oh, my God!" "Yep." "Apparently the only signature he needed was my fist." "But with a pen in it." "That I was signing with." "l-- l can't believe it." "Congratulations." "Thank" " Thank you." "Thank you!" "Well, this is great." "I wish I could stay and chit-chat." "Well, it sure was nice to meet you..." "Doctor." "You got a little crush, don't you, Doc?" "Well, that's going to make this hard to hear." "See, later, I'm going to take little Penny back to my place, show her the command center, the Hammer cycle." "Maybe even the Ham-jet." "You think she likes me now?" "I'm gonna give Penny the night of her life just because you want her." "And I get...what you want." "See, Penny's giving it up." "She's giving it up hard because she's with Captain Hammer." "And these... are not the hammer." "The hammer is my penis." "This appeared as a moral dilemma" "'Cause at first it was weird though I swore to eliminate" "The worst of the plague that devoured humanity lt's true I was vague on the "how", so how can it be that you" "Have shown me the light?" "It's a brand new day" "And the sun is high" "All the birds are singing" "That you're gonna die" "How I hesitated" "Now I wonder why lt's a brand new day" "All the times that you beat me unconscious, I forgive" "All the crimes incomplete, listen, honestly I'll live" "Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-it-all is through" "Now the future's so bright and I owe it all to you" "Who showed me the light lt's a brand new me I got no remorse" "Now the water's rising" "But I know the course I'm gonna shock the world" "Gonna show Bad Horse lt's a brand new day" "And Penny will see the evil me" "Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure" "And she may cry, but her tears will dry" "When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia lt's a brand new day" "Yeah, the sun is high" "All the angels sing" "Because you're gonna die" "Go ahead and laugh" "Yeah, I'm a funny guy" "Tell everyone goodbye lt's a brand new day" "looks like we're finding out what a true hero is." "The Mayor himself will be on hand to dedicate the new homeless shelter and unveil the statue of Captain Hammer." "It's a good day to be homeless." "It certainly is." "So they say Captain Hammer's become a crusader" "Political-- He's cleaning' up the streets" "About time." "So they say that it's real love" "So romantic" "He signed this" "So they say we'll have blankets and beds" "We can open by Monday" "Thanks to you" "Thanks to me lt's the perfect story" "So they say" "A hero leading the way" "Hammer's call to glory" "Let's all be our best" "Next up-- who's gay?" "So they say he saved her life" "They say she works with the homeless" "And doesn't eat meat" " We have" " A problem with her" "This is his hair" "This is so nice I just might sleep with the same girl twice" "They say it's better the second time" "They say you get to do the weird stuff" "We'd do the weird stuff" "This is perfect for me" "So they say I guess he's pretty okay" "After years of stormy sailing" "Have I finally found the bay?" "He's still not picking up." "There's no happy ending" "So they say" "Not for me anyway" "Should I stop pretending" " Take the chance to build" " Or is this" "A brand new day" "This is his dry cleaning bill" "Four sweater vests" "And in just a few minutes, we'll unveil the statue of the man himself." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Justice has a name." "And the name that it has-- besides "Justice"-- is Captain Hammer." "Ladies and gentlemen, your hero." "Thank you." "Thank you, Mayor, for those kind words." "I hate the homeless..." "ness problem that plagues our city." "Everyone should have the basic" "You know what, I don't need tiny cue-cards." "When I fell deeply in love with my serious long-term girlfriend Penny" "Wave your hand, Penny." "There she is." "Cute, huh?" "Sort of a quiet, nerdy thing." "Not my usual, but nice." "Anyway... she turned me on to this whole homeless thing, which is terrible." "And I realized-- I'm not the only hero in the room tonight." "I'm not the only one who's fighting." "It may not feel too classy" "Begging just to eat" "But you know who does that?" "Lassie" "And she always gets a treat" "So you wonder what your part is" "'Cause you're homeless and depressed" "But home is where the heart is" "So your real home's in your chest" "Everyone's a hero in their own way" "Everyone's got villains they must face" "They're not as cool as mine" "But folks, you know it's fine" "To know your place" "Everyone's a hero in their own way ln their own not-that-heroic way" "So I thank my girlfriend Penny" "Yeah, we totally had sex." "She showed me there's so many" "Different muscles I can flex" "There's the deltoids of compassion" "There's the abs of being kind lt's not enough to bash in heads" "You've got to bash in minds" "Everyone's a hero in their own way" "Everyone's got something they can do" "Get up, go out, and fly" "Especially that guy" "He smells like poo" "Everyone's a hero in their own way" "You and you and mostly me and you I'm poverty's new sheriff" "And I'm bashing in the slums" "A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of" "Scary alcoholic bums" "Everybody!" "Everyone's a hero in their own way" "We're heroes too" "Everyone can blaze a hero's trail" "We're just like you" "Don't worry if it's hard lf you're not a friggin' 'tard" "You will prevail" "Everyone's a hero in their own way" "We're heroes too" "Everyone's a hero in their" "Look at these people" "Amazing how sheep'll show up" "For the slaughter" "No one condemning you" "Lined up like lemmings, you led to the water" "Why can't they see what I see?" "Why can't they hear the lies?" "Maybe the fee's too pricey" "For them to realize" "Your disguise is slipping I think you're slipping" "Now that your savior is still as the grave" "You're beginning to fear me" "Like cavemen fear thunder I still have to wonder" "Can you really hear me?" "I bring you pain" "The kind you can't suffer quietly" "Fire up your brain, remind you inside you're rioting, society is slipping" "Everything's slipping away" "So, go ahead, run away" "Say it was horrible" "Spread the word, tell a friend." "Tell them the tale" "Get a pic, do a blog." "Heroes are over with" "Look at him, not a word" "Hammer, meet nail" "Then I win, then I get" "Everything I ever" "All the cash, all the fame" "And social change" "Anarchy, that I run lt's Dr. Horrible's turn" "You people all have to learn" "This world is going to burn" "Burn" "Yeah, it's two "R"s." "H-O-R-R." "Right." "Burn" "No sign of Penny, good I would give anything not to have her see lt's gonna be bloody, head up Billy, buddy" "There's no time for mercy" "Here goes no mercy" "That's not a good sound." "...way" "A Death Ray?" "Looks like Dr. Horrible's moving up." "Let's see if this one works any better than your others." " Don't" " I don't have time for your warnings." "You give my regards to St. Peter." "Or, whoever has his job, but in hell." "Oh, I'm in pain!" "I think this is what pain feels like!" "Oh, Mama!" "Someone maternal!" "Get out of my way!" "I gotta get out." "Penny." "Penny!" "Billy?" "is that you?" "Penny, hold on." "Oh, no." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." "Are you all right?" "Hold on." "It's okay. lt's okay." "Captain Hammer will save us." "Penn" "Dr. Horrible, why'd you kill her?" "Dr. Horrible!" "Dr. Horrible-- ...part of your plan, Dr. Horrible?" "Here lies everything" "The world I wanted at my feet" "My victory's complete" "So hail to the king" "Everything you ever" "Arise and sing" "So your world's benign" "So you think justice has a voice" "And we all have a choice" "Well now your world is mine" "Everything you ever" "And I am fine" "Now the nightmare's real" "Now Dr. Horrible is here" "To make you quake with fear" "To make the whole world kneel" "Everything you ever" "And I won't feel" "A thing" "Subtitled By J.R. Media Services, lnc." "Burbank, CA"