" Taking a bath?" " No." "What do you want?" "I'm a temporary worker." "Come with me." "Towels are here!" "Towels?" "Your turn." "Let me try." " Over here." " Sure." "Take a rest." " How much for a Coke?" " Seventy cents." "It's too expensive." "I'll have water." "We only make $1.50 a day as temporary workers." "What is this?" "Keep playing." "Lili!" "Jan, where are you going?" "I missed you at English class last night and Monday night." "My dad will get me a private tutor." "The class is terrible." "Who's bothering you?" "The one in the back who naps during class." "There's several of them." "Is he tall or short?" "Not too tall." " I'm home." "Bye." " Bye." "That's no way to treat your new bike." "Lili, what's the matter with you?" "See, you've scared my bird." "Take a look at this?" "When are we going to Tsingtao?" "It was your idea." "Oh, that." "Let's see." "It's scheduled for July." "It's during the college entrance exams." "How can I make it?" "Simply ask your father to reschedule the trip." "There's a letter from your uncle." "What does it say?" ""My dearest niece..."" "What does it mean?" ""It has been a long time..."" "What is he saying?" "Don't rush me." "I need to look it up." "Your uncle has been abroad for 30 years." "He can't even write Chinese anymore." "He was only 10 then." "Never took his schooling seriously." "All he ever did was cause trouble." "I got it!" "Uncle's coming to Beijing." "Really?" "My little brother's coming to visit." "That's it?" "Damn it!" "I've been trying to debug that program for the whole week." "My God!" "I don't know about your God but my God should be a nice-Iooking Chinese God, who's perfectly circumcised." " Poi-fectly?" " Poi-fectly!" "Beef noodles." "Thank you, dear." "What do you have to say about your report card, son?" "Nothing." "Professor Chuang just called." "He said you only showed up for his Chinese 1 class once." "I have been going to Chinese class ever since I can remember." "You know what?" "I never got to watch Bugs Bunny." "Son, nobody should deny his own cultural background." "Although we send you to Chinese school every year but you still don't speak Chinese!" " Some bitter melon?" " And be bitter for the rest of my life?" "No." "Is Yida asleep?" "It's time to get up, Yida." "Are you dead?" "He has really stopped breathing." "Where have those hands been?" " Fuck, it has an evil smell." " There's no smell." "Look at the fortune on my hand." "Full of luck." "But it can't seem to grasp anything I put my hands on." "Who's the most popular singer in America?" "Luciano Pavarotti." "Who's he?" "Would you give me a shorter name?" "Didn't he sing Your Cold Little Feet?" "It's Your Cold Little Hands." "Sing it." "Come on, sing it." "I love that song." "Stop that singing!" "My baby just wet his bed." "We've been preparing for a trip to Beijing for the last five years." "He has a standing invitation from his sister in Beijing." "And the China Computer Society." "I even took him seriously once and took a class in Chinese." "I thought you spoke Chinese." "Can't you tell?" "I'm an American." "Right." "I don't know about our president, Wilson." "He's so indecisive." "I mean, it's only natural." "You've been in charge of that PC division for the past four years now." "I only did the technical part of the project." "You did all the administrative work, didn't you?" "Somebody must mop the floor." "Not that I enjoy it." "I was told to do it." " Hey, Jimmy." "How are you doing?" " Hey, Leo." " Congratulations." " Thank you." "I heard the word about you becoming the new director of the PC division." " Thank you." " You really deserve it." "But it's not official yet." "I'm tired." "I won't be in tomorrow." "Today, we are going to have a new lesson." "Today, we will study Lesson 22." "My Hometown." ""My hometown."" "Listen to me carefully." "I'll read the lesson once." "Pay attention." "Think of the Chinese meaning while you're listening to the English." ""My hometown is a beautiful place." ""It stands beside a wide river..." ""...at the foot of low green hills." ""It has many fine buildings..." ""...and a red, wide street." ""There are trees..."" "Don't sleep." "It's hard not to." "I've read this lesson three times already." ""But it has not always been like that."" "Look, they're dozing off." ""In the old days, it was a sad, dirty little town..."" "After the class, I'll speak to them." "Do you understand that?" " And say what?" " Ask for their notes." "Do you understand?" "River." "What does it mean?" "River." "Hello?" "Why are you saying "hello" to strangers?" "You're not Americans." "Just being polite." "Is it you?" "Not me." "Then, it must be you." "No, I didn't..." "One of you is flirting with Jan." "Disgusting." "Come on, we're classmates." "Why can't we talk?" "What do you mean "classmates"?" "Hutong boys." "What's wrong with Hutong?" "Don't you live in Hutong, too?" " What do you want?" " Let's be friends." "Look at my handsome pal." "He speaks fluent English and sings opera too." "What's his name?" "Papa Rawdi?" "No, Pavarotti." "Jim here's already discussed our income for the year." "Keep it up, gentlemen, and Frances." "Our PC computer, Comprocot, has been very competitive thanks to Leo, Neil, and their fellow workers." "It should come as no surprise that we've decided to establish a new PC division." "The new director of this PC division is Mr. Neil Mahoney." "And Comprocot's inventor, Leo Fang, has been promoted to headquarters as senior member of the technical staff to our senior vice-president." "Five years ago you told me I didn't have enough experience to be the director." "Now, Neil Mahoney has less experience than I had five years ago." " There are other considerations." " Like what?" "Well, such as youth." "Neil is younger than you." " You're telling me I'm too old." " No, I don't mean that at all." "Neil has lots of good qualities." "Listen to me, Leo." "Neil doesn't know the system well." "He'll learn." "You have a good job, high up in the company, hardly any hassle." "Let me tell you what I think you're thinking." "You don't believe the Chinaman is good enough to be the director." "That's what you're thinking." "Fourteen years." "Damn!" "Mr. Wilson." "San, come back!" "Wash the dishes." "I'm coming." "That's correct." "This is the place." "Mr. Liu?" "Mr. Liu Lo?" "Old Chao, what a surprise." "It's been a long time." "Yes, I've come for your help." "This is my daughter." "She's become a lady." "Come in." "Come inside." "Please excuse my place." "It's a mess." "My daughter does well in all subjects, except English." "It'll be tough for her in the college exams." "Will you please tutor her?" "But my English is old-fashioned and not good enough." "Come on, all of Beijing knows that your English is almost perfect." "What's the tense for this?" "If you want to study English well, you must study hard." "That means memorizing the dictionary." "When I was young I used to memorize 50 words a day." "When I was young, I tried to remember 50 English words." "Even if I forgot 45 words..." "If I forgot 45, I still have five left." "But some people just don't want to do this." "I don't know why." "Excuse me." " Let's get married, now." " Come on." "Your father might come home early." "Pretend he's in China now." "Paul, are you really going to China this summer?" "Actually, I don't think we're ever really gonna get there." " You know what?" " What?" "I don't think he really wants to go." "Why not?" "Because reality often produces disappointments." "Funny old man." "Hey, everybody, I have an announcement to make." "I got tickets for our vacation, one month or even longer." "How's that?" " Pa, for real?" " You bet." " We're all going?" " We'll all go." "We deserve it." "You deserve it." "I deserve it." "We finally deserve it." "You mean like all four of us?" "Wow!" "You're very good." "I used to be much better." ""Bay." B-A-Y." " Island." " Is-land." "What?" "L-S-L-A-N-D, "l-sland."" "No, it's pronounced "island."" " Says who?" " My father." "Can he be wrong?" "How embarrassing." "I got it wrong." "I can tell that your father really cares about you a lot." "To him, I'm a failure because I failed the college entrance exams." "And so what if I make it to college?" "What good is a college degree?" "We still live in that junkyard." "My turn." ""Four score and seven years ago..." ""...our fathers brought forth on this continent..." ""...a new nation..." ""A new nation, conceived in liberty..." ""...and dedicated to the proposition..." ""...that all men are created equal." ""We here highly resolve that this nation..." ""...and God..." ""...shall have not..." ""...shall have not new birth of freedom..." ""...and that government of the people, by the people, for the people..." ""...shall not perish from the Earth."" " How'd you like my speech?" " It's good." "Do I sound like a president?" "When I'm a reporter, I'll be sent all over the world to write." "After that, I will become a writer and eventually get published." "Got it all worked out?" "Why should they send you?" "Who else would they send?" "You're right." "What do you want to do?" "Me?" "Anything is fine for me." "As long as I get into college, get a good job and I'm assigned an apartment." "That's all." " I'm leaving." " Hi, Pop." "Hi, Mr. Fang." "Have a pleasant trip." "Bye, Linda." " What's wrong, Romeo?" " Father." "Give me a break." "Who's playing?" "Forty Niners against Broncos." "I thought you stopped seeing Linda." "I will." "When I'm in China." "What ever happened to that nice Chinese girl, Margaret Hue?" "Saw her with some white guy." "Why don't you like Linda as my friend?" "The only reason you don't like her is she's not Chinese." "I never suggested anything like that." "It's true, all Chinese parents are racists." "What are you talking about?" "Me?" "You use the tradition and the culture to cover up the racism." "Really?" "Why do we have to do everything the Chinese way?" "It gets you nowhere." "This is America, you know." "You've lived here for so long, and you still talk with an accent." "What's wrong with my accent?" "I think it's rather cute." "What's the weight limit on each suitcase again?" " 44 pounds." " Yes!" "Sack him!" "Here is an interesting paragraph about the city of Beijing." "Listen." " "Beijing is a city..." - "Beijing is a city surrounded by walls."" " Big, thick walls." " What?" "Why?" "To keep the invaders out, or to confine the natives in." "It is just as difficult to leave the city as to go back." "What does your sister say in the letter?" "They still didn't do anything about father's grave." "Oh, no." "Where's the wall?" ""The Great Wall is located 60 miles northwest of the city."" "I don't mean that wall." "Comrade, where is the wall that surrounded Beijing?" "The wall was removed in favor of expanding the city..." ""The wall of Beijing City was torn down right after Liberation..." ""...for the purpose of expanding the nation's capital."" "What do you know?" "China expert, eh?" "The guidebook doesn't lie all the time." "Those damn high-rises." "Ma, Pa, here they come!" "Hurry up!" "Sis." "Li Chuen?" " This is your brother-in-law." " Hello." "We waited all day at the airport yesterday." "The flight was delayed." "Hello." "Welcome!" "You must be tired." "Leo told me all about you." "Lili, greet your uncle." "She is so tall." "Welcome." "Hello." "Sorry." "This is your uncle." " Who are these strange people?" " Japanese, maybe?" "No, Filipinos, maybe." "I don't think so." "How does this compare with our old house?" "It's quite different." "How come they have so many overseas connections?" "Those retired high-ranking officials have everything!" "Taste these meatballs." " This is too much food." " Please excuse my cooking." "Try it." "Sis, your cooking is as good as Mom's." "Just home cooking." "Taste it." "The meatballs are undercooked." " Really?" " It's better to cook it longer." "Lili." "Go get the red wine." "I can't drink white wine." "My sister-in-law cooks well?" "He's asking about your Chinese cooking." "I only know how to cook beef noodles." "Beef noodles." "Beef noodles are not easy to cook." "Beijing only has a few places for good beef noodles." "What do you do for fun at school?" "For fun." "Uncle, I've studied English for years." "How come I still don't understand him?" "What do you do for fun at school?" "For fun?" "No fun." "We don't even have enough time to study." "We don't play." "We study." "That's enough." "Do you play sports?" " Sports?" " Sports." "I like Ping-Pong." "I play Ping-Pong." "No kidding, that's great." "That used to be my sport." "Brother, since you're in Beijing, don't stay in a hotel." "It's too expensive." "You must stay in our home." "Yes." "We've prepared for you." "They want us to move in." "It's all prepared." "In your brother's family, two out of three can't speak Chinese but they can all use chopsticks." "You can't use a knife and fork." "What are you fiddling with?" " The electric blanket my brother gave us." " Electric blanket." "Let's plug it in and try it on you." "No, not me." "Then I'll try it." "Leo, do you think they like me?" "Sure." "They're crazy about you." "Believe me." "I feel like I've known them for a long time." "Of course." "You all belonged to the same herd of cattle in your previous lives." "Dad?" "They don't have a shower bath here." "Too bad." "Are you warm enough, Paul?" "Are you kidding?" "I'm hot." "They have squat toilets." "Yeah." "I don't think I've quite developed the leg muscles for them." "You need practice." "Shut up." "Go to sleep, will you?" "This is how Americans sleep?" "The electricity is running, but there is no heat." "Hey, the heat is coming up." "What's that smell?" "Stop fooling around." "American goods are not durable after all." "Maybe your brother didn't know that the voltage is different here." "He's a computer expert, of course he knows." ""In the chaotic period" ""of the Three Kingdoms" ""Everywhere" ""Among tumbling dust and roaring smoke" ""Endless battles were fought With spears and swords" ""General Chou attacked with fire" ""Strategist Chuge borrowed the East Wind" ""To burn up the Tsao's battleships" ""Defeated was Marshall Tsao" ""At the famous Battle of the Red Cliffs" ""Strategist Chuge sent troops to capture him"" " Uncle." " Lili." "Still up?" "Don't kill yourself studying." "It's okay." "I can't sleep anyway." "Ever catch cicadas?" "Yes, when I was little." "But that's a boy's game." "Hardly." "Your mother used to be an expert." "She used a pole three times her height and never missed." " She never told you?" " No." "At that time, we lived in a huge courtyard, full of grasshoppers." "We'd catch them, wrap them in tinfoil and cremate them." "It smelled like fried beans." "It was your mother's idea." "My invention was called "water funeral."" "I would put the grasshopper in a bag and drown it with my hot piss." "Your grandpa used to sit under that tree and sing when he was upset." "His singing was really something." "We haven't been here for a long time." "Father passed away the same year the chaos began." "We couldn't give him a proper funeral." "It's all right, sis." "Sonny, come here." "Here's the old man I told you about." "He was funnier than you and I put together." "Funny man." "You must be well built and be politically sound." "We're well qualified to be models." "So, he gets the job and I don't?" "You think short guys can't be models?" "Yida, let's go." "Here is Xiao Juan's letter." "She wants to go biking with you." "The school invites you to practice Ping-Pong." "Here is one from Ching." "Why don't you take your cousin out?" "I can't believe this!" "Look at this!" " What?" " She reads all your mail?" "There's nothing wrong." "Haven't you ever heard of a thing called privacy?" "Privacy?" "Yeah, all right." "I guess there's no such thing in China." "Your hand can't touch the table." "According to the rules, you automatically lose." "Pay attention to this." "Didn't I just warn you about touching the table?" "Uncle, we're walking faster than you're running." "Come on, Paul." "What do you think?" ""Put the Great Wall on your chest."" "This is just what Linda needs." "What's he saying?" "Okay, I'll buy it." "The Great Wall was built thousands of years ago to prevent invaders from the north." " It didn't work." " Nope." "The invaders are from the south." "Mr. Fang, please put on this lab coat." "Okay." "We look like doctors today." "Please change your shoes." "My socks have holes." "Please help yourself." " This character is wrong." " No, this is only simplified version." "All these years you've had to speak a foreign language." "Does your mouth get tired?" "No, I'm used to it." "He speaks Chinese all the time with his relatives and his Chinese friends in the States." "Brother, how much do you earn a month over there?" "It's not polite to ask Americans about this." "Like you're an expert on this." "How do you know?" "He's my brother by blood." "Why can't I ask?" "He earns zero dollars now." "In the States, no matter how much you earn, it's never enough." "Over there, the person who has the most debts gets the most credit." "Don't you fall into that bad habit." "Papa said, "You can't live on borrowed money."" "What work unit are you with now?" "None for now." "They don't say "work unit" over there." " What "company" are you with?" " No company." "I argued with my boss." "Now, I'm an unemployed, middle-aged man looking for a job." "Really!" "You're not young anymore." "Still acting up at this age?" "Get someone to smooth things out." "Never disagree with your leader, you hear?" "It's too late." "We had a big argument." "Then, I poured a cup of hot coffee all over his pants." "That was a cup of hot coffee, very hot." "Oh, no." "How can you act like a reckless youth at your age?" "I heard that almost every American has a sexually transmitted disease." "Is that true?" "Herpes, maybe." "Leo, what are you talking about?" "Take a look at these beautiful fabrics." "Try it." "Chinese fabrics are so beautiful." "It's too bad they don't pay more attention to fashion design." "I have more for you to choose." "Take a look." "This one is not good." "It's too short." " Too short." " Oh, too short." "This style looks good." "Qi-pao." "Use this fabric to make the qi-pao." "It's very popular." "Don't you think it's too long?" "Long?" "Too long?" "It's not too long for a qi-pao." "A short qi-pao will not look good." "Okay, we'll go with this, then." "Come." " I don't think I could fit into this." " The dress will fit fine." "Your waist is perfect." "I'm too old for a maternity dress." "The bottom width needs to match the top or else it looks bad." "I know this." "Okay, I'll make it for you." "You're going to sew it?" "This fabric tends to shrink after washing." "I washed it already and it shrunk a lot." "Chinese gowns are very comfortable." "It's too big." "I haven't been this big since I had Paul." "What's wrong?" "It's too big." "Look at it." "I'm old." "Look at the wrinkles." "Wrinkles?" "No, you don't have wrinkles." "When I was young, when I was small..." "When you were young..." "I knew this guy with a moustache." "You've had a lot of guys." "I didn't marry him." "I married this old guy." "Shorter than me." "Fatter than me." "And older than me." "Well, he's a little overweight." "And he's balding." "The worst thing is when he does this:" "Well, Leo, "brother" weekends, he watches TV, all weekend." "Watch football." "Football." " "Go, go, go!"" " Sports fan." "They're all the same." "This old guy, after he turns the TV on..." "Honest, Leo does the same thing." "Ma!" "Yes." "What is it?" "Who's Linda?" "She's just one of Paul's friends." "Paul has many friends." "He's very popular." "Don't move." "I'll get your dress." "They're almost ready." "Let's hurry." "Is this the latest American fashion?" "Of course it is." "My aunt bought it for me." "Try it on." " How is it?" " Very pretty!" "The chest area seems so loose." "It's made for American girls." "Hey, Mom!" "Here she is!" "Yu!" "Come over here." "Yida..." "We're already late." ""The superior man is ennobled..." ""...while the inferior man is demeaned by it."" "Well, how prepared are you this time?" "The same." "What kind of answer is that?" "I'm only reminding you." "This is the third time you'll be taking the exam." "If you fail again..." "If I fail again, I'm not a human being." "I can't even comment about your studies?" "Why do you have this attitude?" "If you don't get into college, you have no future." "Do you understand?" "Of course I want to go." "But they only accept a few each year." "What can I do?" "Just settle down." "Don't waste time." "There's hope this time." "You only missed it by 12 points last year." "Stop wasting time on nonsense like Ping-Pong and pop songs." "Old bookworm." "What did you say?" "You're calling your father a bookworm?" "What can you do?" "You ungrateful wretch." "All you do each day is daydream of Lili." "You've lost your mind." "Wake up!" "We are not the same status as the Chaos." "Here's a letter from Yida." "He says..." "Mom, don't open my mail from now on." "What?" "It's not nice to read others' mail." "Others?" "You are not "others." You are my daughter." "It's still not right." "Are you hiding something from your mother?" "No, I am not." "This is my privacy." "What?" ""Privacy" is privacy." "You can't translate it." "Uncle told me." "So you've grown wings." "Trying to fool me with foreign words." "Without your mother, where would you be?" "How is the taste?" "Just sour enough." "Listen, Dad, what do you say you lend me a few dollars till we get back home?" "Running out again?" "What a guy!" "Too much, Dad." "Your sister is great in all aspects except she criticizes me all the time." "In front of the kids and guests." " Gives me no respect." " Yes, she's like that." "How's your wife?" "The same." "They're all the same." "They say when women reach menopause..." "How shall I say it?" "She gets jealous easily these days." "An old guy like me, what can I do?" "You never can tell." "Menopause?" "Menopause." "In America, they also say that when a woman reaches menopause she gets very moody, physically infertile, her senses become heightened and sexually very active." "But I've never experienced it myself." "I only heard about it." "Have some more." "Which room?" "North room." "Let's go to the north room." "Which way is north?" "This is north." "Which is north?" "Over here is north." " You're drunk." " No." "This way is north." "Music." "This is a test." "If you're not drunk..." " lf you are not drunk..." " No, I'm not." "If you're drunk, you can't pick your ear." "Here's half a pound of wax." " Here, your turn." " No problem." ""In the last days of the Han Dynasty" ""Heroes and bandits" ""Vied for power" ""Heroes and bandits" ""Vied for power" ""Powerful Premier Tsao Meng De" ""Ruled the land" ""A talented but arrogant scholar" ""Holds the Emperor under duress" ""Ruled the land" ""For the hope" ""That Liu Biao would take power and rule" ""Need a talented and famous person" ""Kong Rong" ""Loved talented and smart people" ""Recommended Mi Heng"" "Paul!" "What does this sentence mean?" "Stop making such a racket so early in the morning." "No one ever cleans the bike." "Fourth down, fifteen to go." "You're dead." " You're dead?" " Yeah." "Lili?" "Touchdown!" "Beginner's luck." "Ask Paul what his jacket is made of." "Why?" "We're busy." "Busy?" "You're busy playing." "It's burlap sacking with patches on the elbows." "Broken there?" "Oh, this?" "No, you know, this is the style." "You know, this is a fashion." "This is the best, really." "Pierre Cardin." "His pants look a year old." "The kid's outgrown it." "Nonsense!" "They're new pants." "It's the latest style." "Homespun pants the color of moldy bean curd!" "Your uncle is not doing well over there." "Tough life." "No, you don't understand." "You know, these here are Calvin Kleins." "I wore these when I was at cadet school." "I have more." "Would these be in style in the U.S.?" "Dad!" "Stop following me." "You're in my way." "Lili's always running around with him." "Do something about it." "Why don't you do something?" "Me?" "I can't squeeze a word in." "You two are closer." "Since your brother came, I haven't seen Lili open a book." " There's time." " Time?" "I checked the calendar, there are only 23 days left." "She just listens to pop music with that boy." "Or she hops around in earphones." "I'm sick of the sight." "His name is "Paul." American boys are very active." "I don't care what country he's from." "He's so inappropriate." "The other day I saw him knocking his father's head." "What is this?" "I am serious." "Please talk to your precious daughter." "Don't worry." "If she fails the exam brother will get her into college in the U.S." "Are you willing to let your only daughter leave your side?" "When kids grow up, they go their own ways." "Besides, she'll be all right with her uncle." "What do you know?" "The American society is corrupt." "It's full of crime and also sexually promiscuous." "And the streets are full of homosexuals." "And what if she brings back a foreign son-in-law?" "How's your Ping-Pong?" "My coach says I'll be the best of the bunch, if I can just get my serve down." "You know that singles title coming up?" "No problem, man, I'm gonna take it." "You're gonna play against Liu?" "Lili, didn't your boyfriend, Liu, win the title last year?" "All right, this is gonna be hot." "Is it a major match?" "I don't know." "It's major for me." "Look at those two guys checking you out." "Look, they're really checking her out." "Why is a nice Chinese girl like you hanging around with foreign devils like us?" "Mom?" "Your favorite niece is in a funny mood." "Again." "Stop teasing her." "Give her some privacy." "Come on, I'm cool." "When are we gonna eat?" "Get Lili to help." "We're ready to eat." "Okay." "Starting today, I'm not eating." "Ready to move back to the hotel tonight?" "Not really." "I'm kind of getting used to this place." "Developing my leg muscles." "Hey, do something about your daughter." "She says she doesn't have enough time for the exam." "We're moving back to the hotel." "Your father told me this morning." "She's not eating!" "Why?" "Just because of Lili?" "There is one thing in this country that causes more concern than the Super Bowl game back home." "No kidding." " The annual college entrance examination." " Mom, I know." "It's like a 1 in 100 chance and if you don't make it, then you have to sell tea in the streets." "I think Lili would make a beautiful tea peddler." "Go inside and pack!" "Okay." "Lili, come out and eat." "Mom, I told you, I won't come out before the exam." "What have you done to this room?" "It's a flea market." " Take this liver soup." " I'm not hungry." "Take it anyway." "It's burning my hand." "Hurry." "Is there still time for me to memorize the dictionary?" "Eat your liver soup while it's hot." "No one can survive without food." "Everyone will go hungry without food." "It's late." "Go to bed." "Just a little longer." "She only had two sips of liver soup." "The liver soup you make tastes awful." "These past few days, she didn't even go out of the room." "She hasn't even gone to the bathroom." "It's terrible." "When nothing goes in, nothing comes out." "Get the car ready!" "Persistence Brings Success" "It's after 2 p.m. Wake up!" "He's stopped breathing." "Where did you put your hand?" "It has an evil smell." "It has no smell." "Let's go out." "Why stay home all day?" "Let's do something." "And do what?" "The exam is over." "Won't be another one till next year." "Listen." "This music is worth a lot abroad." "Stop that singing!" "My baby's wetting his bed again." "Lili is getting out of the hospital." "Let's go visit her." "Now she is one of us." "An unemployed youth waiting for a job." "Coach wants you to practice Ping-Pong." "Why practice on such a hot day?" "The tournament is coming up." "So what?" "Coach said that if you don't practice hard Paul Fang will take the singles title." "You played quite well this time." "Keep it up." " Thank you." " Sure." "Paul Fang is a champion of the California Youth Society from the United States." "Next will be the final for the men's singles." "The competitors are Paul Fang, a Chinese-American player and champion of the Youth Ping-Pong Tournament at Los Angeles, California, USA." "The other competitor is Liu Yida." "Point." "9 to 19." "All right." "Point. 18 to 18." "Buddy, you're super!" " Liu Yida!" " Go!" "The kid is killing." "Foul." "How do you feel, dick breath?" "Oh, great." "Just great." "You had a tough match today, didn't you?" "I play to win." "I hate losing." "I hate it so much." "Listen, son, you see, you played your best game ever." "You didn't win the champion but, you know, you gave the best performance and the best shots, and that's a victory by itself." "Can you understand that?" "You see, in each tournament, there's only one champ but there are many winners." "I think today you're one of those winners." "In Ping-Pong, you should look at it this way." "It's not the game that..." "Dad, I'm kind of hungry, you know." "So, why don't you save your bullshit?" "Okay." "Let me take you to one of those grand Peking duck feasts with warm Coca-Cola." "Okay." "You know, if you want to say it right you've got to say "penis breath."" " Yeah?" " It's "penis breath."" "How about "turkey tits"?" " That's kind of old." " Yeah?" " Hi, Grace!" " Mr. Copeland, what a surprise." " You look lovely." " Thank you, it's a Chinese qi-pao." " Lovely." " Do come in." " How was your trip to China?" " It was wonderful." "People in America think I'm too Chinese, and people in China think I'm too American." " What do you think about that?" " Mei yo, mei yo." "Bossman." "No, not exactly "may yor." It's mei yo." "The Chinese doctor stuck needles in my back and I had this funny tingling sensation." "But it works." "Works like a charm." "Magic." "Looking good, Leo." "Liu Yida is going to Beijing University!" "Quarterback, get up, it's game time."