"Prague" " Brevnov quarter" "Starring" "Make sure it's centered." "Tie it in a knot." " Hi, greetings." " Hi." "Rome" " Czech Embassy" " Afternoon." "Going home?" " Yes, thanks." " Of course." "Nurse, take notes." "The fetus is in the occiput transverse position." "A heartbeat is present." "Friends, I'm very happy you have come to our new gallery for our first exhibition:" "Erika Bornova and Tomas Cisarovsky." "I could tell you alot about their work, but I think it's best just to say I'm so glad they are my friends." "And, of course, I forgot to thank my wife for her support." "I hope you will enjoy the show." "The female principle is stronger than the male principle, soft is stronger than hard, water is stronger than stone." "TEDD Y BEAR" "We broke it..." "Let's get something to drink." "Let's drink something." "Let's drink something." "Plop!" "Goal!" "Wanna call someone?" "Hello?" "Where did all the cats go?" "If I howl like a baboon there will be a million." "A million!" "Go on..." "God, isn't it enough to know I'm waiting here for you?" "I'll wait right here." "See this star?" "I'll wait here on this star." "I can't go in with you." "Okay, let's go." "Jirka, are you there?" "Like some coffee or water?" "Some cake?" "There's lots of cake at home." "True." "Then let's get the check if you don't want anything else." " I want a baby, like my sister." " A real baby?" "It's about time." " Are you mad I say such things?" " Not at all." "You're my closest friend, Jirka." " Are you seeing anyone?" " No." " But I don't want anyone." "I just want a baby." " Aha..." " But it'd have to be kind of like a gift." " A gift?" "From someone close to me or a trusted acquaintance." "Ema, I'm your brother-in-law." " I swear I wouldn't tell anyone." " It's just not possible, Ema." "Okay, I'll ask Roman." "You know Roman..." "No, he won't do it, but he's an obstetrician." "Maybe he'd know a way." " That's sweet of you." " For god's sake!" " Don't be mad." " My wife is your sister!" " I don't want a baby with a stranger." "I was a stranger too before I met Vanda." " Sure, but now you're ours." " Ema..." " Don't tell my sister, okay." " Of course not." " Hi." " How was it?" "A stupid movie, gross food, and your sister asked me to donate sperm." " She's gonna drive me crazy." " And what's going to be next?" "You know I have to look after her because our mom is gone." "She's getting worse:" "We had to use the men's restroom." "She wouldn't go by herself?" "Why would she go alone when she can pee with the guys?" " You went to the movies around here?" " No, we went in to Prague." "You shouldn't be surprised that she was scared." "I told you to go someplace she knows, then she's not scared." " What're you looking for?" "You already ate." " Relax." "I not hoping for anything but strained carrots or old dessert." "Instead of going to the auction, I took our idiot to the movies, while you lounged in this mess with your hooves up." "Come on!" "I was lounging?" "I just got the baby to sleep." " So why's the idiot box blaring if she's asleep?" " Know why?" "Because I run around like an idiot all day and now I need to tune out." " So tune it out." " And my relaxing evening is over." "Some people are colorblind, but every cell in your body that is capable of noticing a mess has atrophied." " Help out by taking off your shoes." " I'll stick to the floor if I do." "Listen here:" "Other moms are on maternity leave but I have to work." "You call that work?" "A sweetshop with no customers?" "It's a lemon of a business that eats up more than I earn." "But I like it." "Is it so hard to imagine that I might enjoy it?" "You're having a shit-fit just because you had to take Ema out." "Roman?" "Roman?" "It's 98.6!" " Will it be a boy or a girl today?" " Just try to relax, okay?" " Do you need to sleep?" " No, I can sleep in tomorrow." " Roman?" " Bye." "Rome" "Honey, offer Dino some radishes at least." "Don't you want to take them with us?" "We should get moving." "It's terrible how long we're taking." "Would you like a nonalcoholic beer?" "I'm not holding things up." "I'll wait downstairs." "Have a beer at least." "Dino wants to wait downstairs, darling." "Awake, flower so fair, scent the dale, the woods awake." "She loves me, a girl so fair," "I could melt for happiness sake." "Brook, babble so gently, and waft her flowers there," "But, birds, fly down to me," "I sing today without a care." " Someone has..." "...a birthday today, and we have but one thing to say:" "Happiness, health, happiness, health..." "But mainly health, Vanda!" " Thank you." " She has a birthday every year..." "This is a recipe from Anna's great-grandma." " She cooked for the czar, so maybe Anna's got blue blood." " Really?" " Hey, you're right." "He's right." " Was this Czar Nicholas's last meal?" " And the muzhiks got the leftovers." " Hey, it's delicious." "If you made this for the bakeshop people might come." " Is it hard to make?" " A little." " No!" " Work:" "We can't have that." " No!" "Don't worry, little hands, no hard work for you." " That's right." "I'll go offer the driver some cake;" "I am the hostess after all." "I'm crazy about this cake." "You deserve flowers." "That's not yours." "Thank you." "Change the center of gravity..." "Someone has a birthday today, and we have but one thing to say:" " Happiness, health..." " Flambé!" " Water, water!" " A little vodka can't hurt." " It's burning." " Take it away!" "Seen Johana?" "She's downstairs." "Why do you think we're up here?" "I bet she's tired." "Why not sleep here?" "I want to show Johana our new flat." "She can't wait." " Have you moved in?" "What's it like?" " It'll be beautiful." "I want it ready for the little one." "Will you come for the christening?" "It'll be at Brevnov Monastery." " Johana is really excited." " Sure." "Prevor will be pleased." "That's great." "I wanted to ask Roman to be godfather." "Now I'm asking you." "Would you be godfather, Jirka?" "Gladly." "Thanks." "Next time." "I don't believe it!" "The baby isn't Ivan's." "It's someone else's." " Who else have you told?" " No one." "Just you." " Why me?" " Who else?" "But please, Vanda, promise you won't tell anyone." "Not even Jirka." "No, no one..." " I promise." " Promise!" " God, I promise." " Promise me." " Burning the midnight oil?" " Oh, hi." " Are you tired, honey?" " No, not at all." "Would you like to sleep here?" "No, Dino's waiting outside." "And I want to show Johana the new place." "Shall we go, darling?" "Sure." "Are things good for you and Jirka, too?" " Yeah." " That's good." " Thanks for everything." " I'm glad to hear it." " Shall we go?" " Yes." " Bye." " Bye." "Rome" "Tea?" " Thanks." " Sure." " How about a roll or some bread?" " A roll with jam." "A roll, butter." "Fig jam is great" " with a slice of cheese." " No, jam is enough." " Try it with cheese." " No, no cheese." "Honey, how do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?" "Fine." "Thanks." " I hope you enjoy it." " Thanks." "Honey will be having our little bug at home." "Aha." "But this is our home." "Our home?" "Yes, our home." "I'm glad we'll be raising our little bug in Prague." " Let's have some banana." " Hi." " Hi." " You're welcome." " Are you nuts?" " Is there a working sugar dispenser?" " You call this normal?" "I am normal." "You used to be cleaner." "Isn't it weird to go pawing through my dirty underwear?" " Slob." " What?" "I don't like wading through dirty laundry every evening." "I don't like finding your razors mixed in with mine." "I want the cap put back on the toothpaste." "Is that so abnormal?" "Surely, the toilet brush was invented for some purpose." "Hair in the sink:" "Do I want to see that first thing in the morning?" "Is there anyplace you haven't left used Q-tips lying around?" "Why not find a cleaning lady?" "I could ask around." "She even stopped sleeping with me." "The gallery doesn't make enough for whores and cleaning ladies." " Think she's found someone else?" " Vanda?" "No, no way." "I'm positive." "Vanda said you fought." "Is it true?" "Well, since she wants a divorce..." "What about Anezka?" " Hey, would you marry me?" " No." " I guess things are good with Roman." " Sure." " Time?" " Sorry..." "About 10:38." "About?" "How long?" " How are they?" " Don't know." "Jirka says Vanda is making trouble:" "She wants a divorce." "Vanda says Jirka is making trouble:" "He doesn't want one." "Please, call your dog off!" "Please, call your dog off!" "Go on!" "You okay?" "It's terrible because I care for both of them." "Roman?" "Roman?" "Should we come down?" " Hi." " Hi." " Hi, Ema." " Hi." "Okay, this conversation has to stay between us because what we're planning is slightly illegal." "I know about a donor." "He's a med student and I can vouch for him." " You can't know his name, address, or anything else." " Sure." "And the procedure would take place at Dr. Vasak's clinic." " I read about him." " And I..." "Of course not." "He's an anonymous donor; you don't know him." "But Roman knows him and can vouch for him." "He's a med student, so he's smart." " What's wrong?" " Do you want a baby?" "Not with a stranger." " Come on, Ema, people aren't self-pollinating." " Right." "What?" "She's crazy." "She says you're not a stranger." "Ema..." "I'm flattered you want a baby with me, but..." " We'll take the med student." " Roman's a doctor too." "No!" "Cut it out!" "Just forget about it." "Health Guide" "Oh, no, it's frozen." "Where've you been so long, kitty?" "No, no, not here..." " Is Mr. Stecher at home?" " No, he's not." " Can I talk to you?" " Yes, come in." " Thank you." " Hello." " Hello." " How about saying hello?" " She must be shy." " Mommy, I have to pee." " Aha, pee." "Of course, come on in." "I'll show you where." "Can you close the door?" "I'll take her." "Take off your hat." "Your mittens are soaked." " That's a pretty plant." " How about some tea and cake?" "Sure." "Here's some for you." " It's wonderful." " Thanks." " You baked it?" " Yes." "In that case," "I'd like your opinion because I deal in Belgian chocolate." "Only big firms and hotels buy it;" "Czechs aren't interested at all." "They bake their sweet buns and don't want Belgian chocolate." "I'd like to know what you think of it." "Belgian chocolate is 90% cocoa, almost no additives." "It has a rich, luxurious, refined taste." "It melts on your tongue." "Let me choose one for you..." "Mint." "Give me your hand." "Taste it, don't talk, close your eyes..." "It's really good." "Do I know you through Roman?" "I wouldn't have put it like that, but you could say so." " I really admire you." " Me?" "For what?" "How you're fighting." "You're so brave." "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about." "When's daddy coming?" "Roman doesn't want to hurt you, and neither do I." "I accepted things as they came but then Natalka was born." "When she was young it wasn't such a problem, but now she understands everything." "He'll kill me when he finds out I was here." " Please understand." "Will you try?" " Yeah..." "I want nothing for myself." "I'm doing this for my girl." "It's like this:" "I just want Roman to spend Christmas with us." "The holidays, okay?" "At least while Natalka is young." "We made a tape for daddy:" "Daddy, be with us for Christmas." "He was my gynecologist; he still is." " Auntie, are you real sick?" " Me?" "Daddy said you'll die if he doesn't take care of you." "That's why he lives with you and not with us." " What disease did he invent for me?" " Multiple sclerosis." " Please, mommy." " Let's go, we'll wait for him at home." "Come on; don't cry." "It's Tuesday, so daddy's coming." " Please, mommy." " Come on." "She's fine." "Auntie Anna is fine." "Hi." "Do I smell cigarettes?" "Was Vanda here?" "I can't believe you put up with Vanda's smoking." "She should give it up for your sake at least." " Something wrong?" " I'm just tired." " When did she leave?" " I don't know." "I hope you didn't smoke." "That'd be a real shame." "You've held out for 5 years." "It took such willpower." "And Vanda?" "Has Jirka agreed to the divorce?" "Well?" " She brought Natalka with her, huh?" " She takes after you." "I didn't want it to come out like this." "You're a liar." "I know." "You don't yet know what a relief this will be for you." "You hate me, don't you?" "Not yet." "For now, I just admire you." "What a charade." "What are we going to do?" " I'm going to lie down." " Wait, Anna." " Should I go?" " You have to:" "It's Tuesday." "Her mittens are in there." "Here, kitty-kitty..." "Anna?" "Can I come in?" "I don't know what to do." "You should go." "What're you trying to do to me?" " Hi, girls." " Hey, daddy's here!" " Hi, Natalka." " What'd you bring me, daddy?" " Tons of kisses and something else." " What?" " Which hand?" " This one." "Right." "Here you go." " Thanks." " But after dinner, okay?" " Okay." " Hi." "I hope you're hungry." "I'm making steak tartare." " Have you been home?" " No, at the clinic." " You haven't been home?" " No, why do you ask?" "If you think you solved things, you're mistaken." "I'll come extra during the holidays, then it's Tuesdays like usual." "We've been together 9 years, right?" "And you're as cool as ever." "You come Tuesdays, pay the rent, a gift for Natalka, we screw, eat..." "Man, you act like you came to play squash." "Do you even know what you've done?" "How could you do that to someone who may have only 2 months to live?" "You're a monster." "Now get out, you multiple sclerosis." " Hi, mom." " Are you crazy?" " A bike in this weather?" " Hi." "Is that how a doctor behaves?" " Look what you did." " Hi, dad." "He'll come around." "He'll understand eventually." " I need a bath." " Do you have anything to wear?" " In my bag." " Change your things." " I will." "There's only one truth." "Our son is an amateur who, for his pleasure, has destroyed two women and a child to boot." "How long was he going to keep it from her?" "Now it's out." "Sometimes I wonder if he's really my son." " Are you sure he is?" " Oh, please!" "You and your snap judgments." "You think Roman is a cheat and a liar and that's that." "Since you're invoking the truth, have you always been honest with me?" "I've never lied to you." "Because I never asked, because I know there's never just one truth." "My darling relativist." "What'll you tell Anna when she finds out we knew and didn't tell her?" "Remember, if he didn't have a lover, we wouldn't have Natalka." " So you never lied to me?" " Did you lie to me?" "You're the one pretending to be a holy judge." " So you did." " Ask me whatever you want;" "I don't care because I've got nothing to hide." "After 40 years, what else could interest me about you?" "That's a good question." "Maybe you'd be surprised." "Maybe that's why I'd rather not ask." " Because you're afraid." " Of what?" " Of finally hearing the truth." " I'm not afraid of anything anymore." " So don't be afraid and let's start." " LIE!" "Okay, then." "Have you ever had another man?" " Had or thought about?" " Either." " Lots, of course." " You've got to be kidding." "Listen, kid, you're nuts if you think I never fancied anyone in all these years." "The answer to the other part of the question is:" "No one, ever." " Who have you fancied?" " Dreams don't count, actions do." "But since it's you, I'll tell you who your competition was." "Jirka Huml?" "Gérard Philipe." "Ah, Fanfan la Tulipe..." "Hey, let's drop this." " Hold on, now it's my turn." " I'd rather play checkers." " I might have known." " What?" "That you'd try to weasel out of it." " Okay, fine, ask away." " I won't ask about your fantasies." "Have you ever been unfaithful?" " Who me?" " Buying time, eh?" "The answer is either yes or no." "You don't need to think about it." "It's demeaning." " Who was it?" " I didn't say it was anyone." "When was it?" " Are you trying to irritate me?" " You're the one invoking the truth." "How long did it go on?" "Did you sleep with her?" " Fine, as you wish:" "Once." " Once what?" "I once slept with someone else." "Satisfied?" " Not at all." "I knew her, right?" " I was drunk and it meant nothing." "It's ancient history:" "Silurian, Devonian, carbon..." "Nothing for the next 30 years." "A man has to make sure of where he belongs." " Between someone's legs?" " No, to whom." " Hi, dad." " So Roman was already born." "I knew her, didn't I?" " They both kicked me out." " Go to her; she'll forgive you." "Who do you mean?" "Who'll forgive him?" " You hush!" "You're one to talk!" " Do you mean Anna, his lawful wife?" "I mean the mother of his child, of course." "Anna's not to blame because she can't have kids." "You in particular have no right to start moralizing." " What happened, dad?" " Ask your mom." "He's the one who needs to explain." "Will you drop it?" "Or will you just keep harping on it?" "Did you think I'd blow it off?" "You don't even blink at what others do." " Mom, what happened?" " Ask your dad." " Will you give it a rest?" " No." "Fine, but the consequences are yours." " Well?" " Edita." "Are you satisfied?" " Are you finally satisfied?" " Can I spend the night, dad?" "As you wish;" "I'm not in charge here." "Move in if you like." " What happened, mom?" " How could she?" " Who?" " Edita." "My best friend." "Edita Ticha?" " She's been dead 20 years." " Exactly!" "Well, merry Christmas..." "May we meet in a year in good health." " How's business?" " Recently, it hasn't been for shit." " What's this painting cost?" " 60,000." " Really?" " Without commission." "What does the person look like who'd pay 60,000 for this?" "I'd like to know that too." "I've only got two more months' rent." "If things don't improve I'll have to pack it in." " How about you?" "Where do you live?" " At my parents'." "Be glad you've got a place." "Did you know Ivan had a son?" " Yeah, Ludvik." " Little Ludvik." "Wanna see some pictures?" " Man, I envy them." " What about Jutka and Natalka?" " They left for Slovakia." " What about Anna?" " I last saw her with a cat." " Think she found someone?" " I don't know; call her." " I've tried." "She doesn't answer." "Ema?" "Where there's a will, there's a way." "What's this?" "Are we going somewhere?" "For two months I've been asking you to leave." "What do you object to about me?" " Everything." " Everything..." "You object to everything about me." "But that's not why you seduced me, why we started going out, why you wanted a baby with me." "Here's a guy I completely object to;" "I've gotta marry him." " Why are you making us both suffer?" " I'm just trying to understand." "God, stop trying; it's beyond you!" "Why drag it out?" "Can you think of any reason we should be together?" "Wait, let me think." "Raising our daughter." "What's for dinner?" "Jirka, please." "Let us live in peace." "What did I do?" "I just want dinner." "I'll cook if you don't feel like it." "It's over!" "Don't you realize that it's over?" "A mistake happened someplace." "Look at yourself!" "Look at me!" "If you give me a divorce, you can see Anezka whenever you want." "Aha." "If I understand correctly, you consider our daughter ransom." "Would you like spaghetti or shall I make the usual franks and beans?" " What the fuck are you doing here?" " Sorting trash." " Did you help her pack my stuff?" " I came about the christening." "I asked Ivan to stay." "Shall we sit?" "Sure, fine." "Welcome to our home." "Johana wants you to be godfather, Jirka." "Tell Johana not to worry." "Vanda and I can't wait, can we?" " Can I ask you something?" " Sure." "Do you want to screw my wife?" "I don't think so." "Or are you so afraid of me that you need a bodyguard?" "So when are you two re-immigrants moving to your new apartment?" "Johana can't wait." "She bought furniture for the baby's room." "Hey, I brought some Mondavi Private Selection for Ludvik's christening." "It's excellent wine." "I got it from Madeleine Albright." "It looks great." "I'm sorry, but we shouldn't hurt the kids." "How many times have you divorced?" "And you come here giving advice?" "Don't be a jerk." "Listen, stick Albright's Mondavi up your ass." "The christening is set for ten but you have to be there at nine." "If you can't come, Johana and I will understand." " I can ask Roman." "How is Roman?" " How is he?" "Just great, fantastic!" "His wives gave him the boot and he lives with his folks." "Fine." "We're not moving just yet." "Johana wants to nurse the baby in Rome, so our new place will be empty for a while." "Aha." "So you guys planned that I'd take refuge at Ivan's, eh?" "But I'm not leaving and I'll never divorce you." "Catholics don't get divorced." "A promise means something to us." "I didn't get married in court so I'm not getting divorced there." "Great..." "You're just buying it out of pity and masking the fact with snob talk." "I'm not buying it out of pity." "Thanks, but don't buy anything just because I'm in deep shit." " Come on, it spoke to me." " Spoke to you?" "Did it growl?" "When she was three, Natalka drew stick figures like that on the wall." "We punished her with no TV for a week." "I get it:" "If you don't like something then it's ugly." "And if I've got a different opinion then I'm a snob or an idiot." " Can I pay in installments?" " No problem." "You'd buy something else with the money, eh?" "How much was your bike?" " Half." " That bike cost 30,000?" " Yeah." " You see?" "Roman likes riding his bike." "Back and forth..." "Each person is a unique, unknowable mystery." "Just because you marry a woman doesn't mean you know her." "Why aren't you with Anna?" "Because she's a dog and I like cats." "You're allergic, man." "Hey, you got any small graphics or a postage stamp for up to 400,000?" "Something with a bike on it, right?" "Come back often, guys." "That painting is amazing." "Doesn't she remind you of Johana?" "All of us here have professed faith in the church." " Do you wish for Ludvik Jiri to be baptized into the faith?" " Yes." "Will the godfather and parents bring the child closer?" "Can I ask the mother to remove his cap?" "Ludvik Jiri, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." "And just as God anointed his Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, as priest, prophet, and king, he marks you with holy oil, for you belong to Christ forever." "We'd like to invite you all for a small celebration." "But, honey, Dino offered to drive me home today." "We agreed on a small celebration." "I just don't want Dino to drive so late." " That's no problem." " It really isn't?" " Not at all." " There's no problem then." " Why not come to our place?" " I'm not allowed." " I'd go for a drink." " You can!" " I can't go..." " If there's a problem, I can..." " Oh, god, he's wet." " It happens." "I'll change him in the car." "Isn't she wonderful?" "Come for a little while or Johana will be sad." "You find a normal, easygoing guy, a bit of an alcoholic who takes you to art openings, etc." "Then you marry him and he wants you to iron his socks." " It's normal to iron socks because of the bacteria." " No way!" "Come on, Anezka, here's dinner..." "And isn't it weird he never told me that Roman has a lover and a seven-year-old daughter?" "I understand that." "Because you would have told me." "You know it!" "No one's going to make a fool of my best friend." " Why do you want to pay VAT when you don't have to?" " What?" " Goddammit!" " You don't have to pay VAT." "I don't know." "I'm closing down and that'll be that." " I like it here." " That's because no one ever comes." "Anezka is the only one who uses the register." "This stuff is an absolute mess." "But straightening it out is easier than solving my own problems." "Then we could paint the place." "I'll paint it." " What?" " I'll paint it... here." "Clever boy!" "We have to work a bit..." " Ivan, can we talk?" " I'm in a bit of a rush, darling." "I need to tell you something." "I'm listening." "I'm pregnant again." "You said you were on the pill." "I lied." "Why?" "Just because." "Okay." "Do you know where the sweater is you gave me for Christmas?" "Is that all you have to say?" "It wouldn't help anyway." "Com on in." "Don't take off your shoes; the place is a mess." "Don't even look around." "What'll we have?" "I have white." "Good white wine." " What?" " What?" "Have a look." "I have that too." "Cut it out!" "That's from your baby..." "Sure, but she's three years old." "I can't keep blaming the kid." " I have it too." " It's ridiculous." "I was showing Anezka that when I conduct..." "It's ridiculous." "Hey, my best memory from childhood, I remember my grandma..." "My mom..." "Wait." "When she baked, when she rolled out the dough, it always did, like, blum, blum, and I always went and put my face..." "Sorry." "Like how her skin was..." "Her paper skin;" "I liked it." "Aren't they so adorable?" "God..." "What?" "That's crazy." "Why so soon?" "They're happy." "No way, we're happy." " Let's drink to that." " To what?" "To being single girls." "Cheers." "Hey, well..." "Maybe we needn't envy them so much." "Except for their love, understanding, solid marriage, interesting life, cute kids..." "That's all." "Hey, everything isn't always as it seems." " What do you mean?" " No, I promised not to tell." "Who?" "Johana." "Promise me you won't tell anyone." "I mean it." "I promise." "Lord, thou lovest all people." "Bless those who came today." "Bless this child, his parents, godfather, relatives, and friends." "Protect them from evil and give them thy peace." "May God, His Son, and the Holy Spirit bless you." "Amen." "Amen." " Let me congratulate you." " Thank you." "I hope this won't be the last time we meet for such a joyous event." "We'll try not to disappoint you." "The heat seems to be working;" "we'll see." "Ludvik, Ludvik!" "Ludvik!" " It's really good." " And it smells great." " Yeah, great." " Have another." " No, I think..." " Yes, you must." "How many will you be able to order?" " That's a bit problematic." " Eat!" "We get all of our desserts from one wholesaler..." " Aha..." " Unfortunately..." " Okay, fine." " Sorry..." " It's okay." "Enjoy it." " Well?" " No deal." " Why not?" " He just doesn't want it." " But he likes it." " Yeah, but he doesn't want it." "Maybe I'm not a good salesman." "We need a pro." "He likes it but doesn't want it." "What can we do?" "Maybe I know someone..." "The golden gate opens straight." " Wait for the red..." " Then watch your head." " Anezka!" "Hi." " Hi." "Watch your head." "Okay." " Look what we've got here." " Wow!" "Pretty nice, huh?" "Blow on this car here." "I'll help you." "How far will it go?" "Look, it's going to derail." "See?" "Just like me." "Help me, daddy." "That one's broken." "Come here, Anezka, have a look." "That engine looks like a cow." "Everything here looks like a cow." "Especially daddy." " How's the bakeshop?" " Fine." " And mommy?" " Fine, too." " Did she complain about me not sending money?" " No." " Mommy's nice, huh?" " Yeah, she is." " I know." "You're like a flame" "extinguished beneath my hand." "You're like a spring flowing to an unknown land." "And I am so sad, just like my hand," "which without your hand" "is so alone," "so alone." "Rome" "What am I supposed to do?" "You promised we'd be together after you took care of things." "For three years you've been saying we'd all be together." "Why?" "I believed it." "You said you'd take me away;" "that we'd be together." "We both thought he'd understand and let me go." "What am I supposed to do now?" "I think I love you more than anything in the world." "You're a coward." " Hi!" " Hi." " Well, how was it?" " Super!" " Super!" " Good afternoon." "I haven't been here in so long." "How did you do it?" "Don't look too close; we're just getting started." "Seen our website?" "Our?" "Who else?" "You don't have to tell me." " Do you like it?" " It's nice." "But do you really like making coffee?" " Honey, I've got people to do that." " Hi, Jirka." " Do you work here?" " Mm-hmm." " I hope Vanda's not exploiting you." " We're partners." "You pig." "Business partners, of course." "I'm glad to see you." "You didn't call or answer your phone." " I didn't know what was up." " Would you like anything?" " No." " Now you know." " Yeah." "This place was always dead." "I'm sorry about what happened." " What happened?" " You and Roman." "How long have we known each other, Jirka?" "Ever since Roman started dating you: 12 years." "I remember that day exactly." "And how long have you known Roman was cheating on me?" "What was I supposed to do?" "Talk him out of it?" "I'd expect that from a friend, but you were all silent." "It must have strengthened your friendship, but you betrayed me." " I'm sorry you see it like that." " How else should I see it?" "You lied to me for eight years." "You pretended in front of me and left me to deal with it." "You took eight years of my life, stole it." "It's gone." "Hold on there." "Imagine your best friend tells you she's got a lover and makes you swear not to tell." "Would you tell her husband?" "You can't say you would." "I'd tell her this way:" "You're my best friend;" "we've know each other for years." "Your husband introduced us and hoped we'd be friends." "He wanted us to celebrate New Year's together, go on vacations together, to dinner, the theater, open a gallery, baptize the kids..." "I did everything he wanted." "Now I find out you're cheating on your husband." "I give you time to put things right;" "if you don't I'll stop seeing you." "I know I'll lose you, but what is such a friendship worth?" "And that's why I've stopped seeing Johana." "Why?" " You don't know?" " What?" "You really don't know?" "What should I know?" "Ask your friend Roman." " What should I ask?" " About your friend Ivan." " Natalka..." " Anezka!" "...then we'll make further arrangements." "I think you'll be satisfied;" "no complaints yet." " Hi." " Fine." "Thanks." "Take care." "Goodbye." " Hi." " Hi." "Would you take Natalka and Anezka to the zoo?" " Great..." " Yes." " We're behind today, thanks." " Girls, want to go to the zoo?" " Yeah!" " Let's go." " I love the zoo!" " Let's go." "Jump!" " What'll we see?" " Elephants." " The elephants again?" " Giraffes." " I was shocked too." " Who told you?" " Anna." " When?" "At the divorce." "We went for coffee." "We somehow started talking about Ivan and she told me." " How does Anna know?" " From Vanda." " Vanda?" " Yeah." "You all knew, but I just found out." "I look stupid." "I feel like someone screwed me over." "I feel betrayed." "Don't take it like that;" "it's his life." "It doesn't just affect him." " He didn't know about Natalka for a long time." " That's different." "I wasn't Natalka's godfather." "Why did he do it?" "What's driving him?" " Can you answer me, godfather?" " Not me, godfather." " Then he'll have to tell us." " Come on." " I'm gonna ask him." " No." "He doesn't know we know." " Later we'll regret saying nothing." "Foreign Ministry, Prague" " Don't you think maybe he's gay?" " Ivan?" "Remember in high school?" "He screwed every girl he laid eyes on." " But people change." "They go gay." " Nonsense." "We'd know it." "Has he ever given you any funny vibes?" " We've kind of lost track of him for the past few years." " True." "Man..." "Or maybe he can't have kids." "Maybe they have some weird arrangement." "I don't know." "Maybe they can't have kids together." "Maybe she's got some immunological disorder." "But why wouldn't he tell us?" " And why would Johana blab?" " That's anybody's guess, my friend." "I think he's infertile." "Johana told Vanda they haven't slept together for five years." "Maybe Ivan wants kids and this arrangement makes it possible." "No, that's dumb." "But why don't they split up?" "And they pretend to be so harmonious, the perfect couple." "Look at us losers, and look how successful they are!" "Maybe he just can't leave her." "He has a different pain threshold, a different ranking of values." "Fine, but why the hell is she with him?" "Maybe it's habit or money, or social prestige, cultural background..." "She can't give a damn about that." "She's stuck at home with two kids while Ivan's in Bumfuck, Egypt." "Now imagine:" "You come home and are greeted by a stranger's kids." "Their birth father drives you to their baptisms:" "He's the chauffer." "Sometimes he takes the kids to the park or to preschool because you've got an audience with the pope." "He goes home, changes a fuse, defrosts the fridge, fixes things..." "Then he knocks up your wife." "To each his own, but I don't like finding it out as a public secret." "It pisses me off, the position my best friend put me in:" "I'm the dork who was the last to find out." "I'll tell you why he did it." "Because he's never wrong." "Have you ever known Ivan to say, "I'm stupid" or "I don't know how?"" " No." " He never has." "He's so on top of things that he forgets what he's on top of." "He's obviously made more of himself than any of us." "He did it using his incredible will." "And he thinks he's doing it again." "Wow, she's beautiful." "Very." "If you think I'm having any wine you're sadly mistaken." " Evening, Paolo, how are you?" " Fine." "Johana bought it for me." "Here's your tickets." "They're next to the president's box;" "they didn't want you there." " There's a president's box?" " No." "Any other questions?" "How about a drink after the concert?" "Sorry, there's a big soirée:" "Grits, chitlins, and moonshine." "How about just the three of us?" "Like old times." "Great idea." "Coming..." "They're waiting for me." "I'll see you after the concert." "Enjoy it and try not to snore." "I would like to welcome our guests today to this gala concert, which is taking place in honor of" "Foreign Minister Massimo da Lema's official visit." "But above all let me welcome his charming wife." "And also my dear friend, Papal Nuncio Diego Causero." "Ladies and gentlemen, may you enjoy the concert." "I'll go choose the wine." " I help him; he doesn't know wine." " Sure." "Maybe he doesn't know." "Do you know the fiasco you might cause?" "He's gotta know when they last did it." "Maybe Johana's lying." "Maybe they do sleep together." "I'm telling you, he thinks he's the father of his kids." "Look how completely cool he is, how confident." "He's acting, man, fooling us." "He's fooling you, me, everybody." "It pisses me off more all the time." "Come on." "Linda here offered to choose for us." "It'll be a surprise, okay?" " Anything to eat?" " No, thank you." " Would you like a decanter?" " Of course." " You aren't Czech, are you." " You can tell?" " Where are you from?" " I won't say." " You're Polish, right?" " Yes." " Very good." " How did you know?" " Your eyes." " You have taste, Linda." " Thanks." "What do you think?" "Too bad." " What's too bad?" " That I'm happily married." " Here's to your success today." " To you." "To you, for rescuing me from that madhouse." " How did you like the concert?" " Beautiful." " Like casting pearls before swine." " Before friends." "Swine dressed as friends." "I'm so happy we're leaving Rome." "Johana and I can't wait to move." " Been a long time." " What?" " That you've been waiting." "But we still have to wait a bit longer." "Apropos, Jirka, the offer stands about living at our place." "How so?" "Would you mind if Johana and I asked Vanda to be godmother?" "No more godfathers left, guys." "You're kidding?" "Johana's pregnant again?" "I've known for three days." " You must be happy." " Incredibly." "I've lost track;" "how many does that make?" "Here's... here's to kids." " And Johana?" "Is she okay?" " Johana is happy." "But she was sorry to miss the concert:" "No one to watch the kids." "We're thinking about an au pair;" "I even talked to Ema about it." "She's excited." "Roman, does Jirka seem tense to you?" " We know, Ivan." " Know what?" "Jirka and I know about it." "You have to help us." "Gladly." "How can I help?" " Johana told Vanda ages ago." " What did Johana tell Vanda?" "Maybe she lied, but then she'd be crazy." "Or silly rather." "It's true that Johana had a small crisis." "That happens after childbirth, but it's over." "You'd tell us if something wasn't right, wouldn't you?" "Of course." "Now, what not supposed to be right?" "What's up with you two?" "What's going on?" "Spit it out." "Is something going on..." "Is something going on?" "Something is going on." " You're making fools of us." " Hold on." "How long can you keep up this vile charade?" "Who do you think we are?" "Some dicks you can fuck with?" " Calm down or I'm leaving." " I've got the key." " I don't think you're dicks." " But you're making us look like it." "This is going nowhere." "A simple question, a simple answer." "Ludvik, Johan, and the one coming:" "Are they your kids or not?" "Are they your real kids?" " Does it matter?" " Are they or not?" "They are my sons." " By blood?" " Why is it so important?" " Is that a yes or a no?" " It doesn't matter." "It wouldn't if Johana didn't go telling secrets to the girls." "I said we'd had a small crisis but it's over now." "Johana came back to her senses." "She's my wife, they're my kids, it's my family." "They're more important to me than anything else in the world." "We don't always have to understand everything." "It's enough to accept it." "Okay then." "It's good to know the truth and to sing it out loud." "But it's better to know the truth and to sing about prunes." "Chinese proverb" "Tilt it..." "Smile more..." "Come on, smile..." "Look at me..." "Tilt it more." "Come on, do it!" " When are you due?" " In nine days, doctor." "Kids?" "Hi." "Hi, Ema." "Hi, Johan." "Aha, you have a block." "Can I throw it?" "Oops, I knocked it down!" "Let's build it again." " Did Johana pay you?" " Yeah." " When are you coming again?" "TEDD Y BEAR" "What about you?" "Me?" "I'm pregnant." "That's great." "THE END" "Subtitled by John Brent"