"Doctor." "Medic." "Care to join me for breakfast?" "Why the hell can't you just leave me alone?" "They're getting worse, aren't they?" "The dreams." "I'm not talking to you." "You will." "Soon." "Hi." "What you listening to?" "Up early." "Too hot to sleep." "What do you say we go for a drive, you and me?" "Maybe have us a little picnic?" "I already got you some dessert packed up under this here kimono." "I can't." "Don't you miss me, baby?" "I know I miss you." "Think fast." " High and inside." " Pig's eye." "I just tell 'em, I don't smell 'em." "All right." "That was good." "Put some heat on it." "Put any more heat on it, I'll burn a hole in your glove." "Good trick back when I used to hurl." "Picture a face in the catcher's mitt." "Somebody you'd really like to peg." "Let's see now, who can that be?" "Yeah." "Hi, Mama." "Knock it off." "Body don't talk, sure does got a lot to say." "She don't like my friends." "Is that a fact?" "No exceptions?" "Well, there is you, of course." "She's got a mind you walk on water." "That's natural." "She's got it in for Libby, though." " What?" " Nothing." "You made a sound." "That's something." "Just think it's not all that surprising." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing." "She's trash cos she dances for a living?" "It's nothing you haven't said before you two started palling around." "So what are you getting at?" "I was thinking, maybe..." "Your mom always thinking that..." "What?" "Nothing." "I like Libby." "Shit." "Goddammit." " Scorpion Boy." " Claws." "Fella's got claws instead of hands." "Yeah?" "It's a haul, 20, 30 mile." "Little town called Gunderson, I think." "Sounds sketchy to me." "When are you gonna learn everything about this business is sketchy?" "Keep the stupid out of your ears and listen up." "First thing to do is make sure he's genuine." " How am I supposed to do that?" " Check his paws." "Make sure he ain't wearing trick rubber gloves or something." "He passes muster, tell him he can make four clams a week." "Go on up to six, if you got to." "Six?" "Only if you got to, not a penny more." "I ain't never done nothing like this before." "Ice cream and cake, kid." " So why aren't you doing it then?" " Cos if I head out, everyone will know." "We got a lot of carnies defectoratin' lately." "Competition catches word, that Scorpion Boy will be major with freak finders from every show in all five counties." "Here's $15." "Give his folks whatever you got to to pry him loose." "Any questions?" "Yeah." "Why me?" "I guess it's just your turn in the barrel, boy." "Was daddy nice to Lila?" "Take it things are going well?" "Just dandy." "Boy's looking a bit ragged around the edges." "Insomnia is a cruel mistress." "He isn't sleeping?" "He's afraid to." " Do me a favour, dear." " It'll be my pleasure." "Keep a very close eye on the boy." "I want you to keep track of his condition for me." "My butter girl." "Oh, daddy." " Excuse me." " Yeah?" "This the road to Gunderson?" "Gunderson?" "Jeepers, you are lost." "You want to turn it around and drive back to the fork." " On Hi Lane?" " That's right, son." "Take Hi Lane up to Trunk Road, go on about 15, 25 miles till it near peters out." "And there's a little dirt connector off to your left, goes right into town." "Thank you." "That song is God-awful." "Do you think?" "You mad at me for getting you all fired up to go out of here?" "No." "Maybe a little." "I'm a big, fat chicken." "Guess you may as well know that now." "You're not really that fat." "That hurt." "I'm sorry." "It wasn't in the cards." " You know what you need?" " What?" "You need Patsy." "OK." "Words come out of my mouth and by the time they hit her eardrums it's a whole different set of words." "I say, "How's things?" She says..." "She hears," ""How can I hone in on your private business?"" "Talking to a woman is like talking to a radio." "That's right." "The dial permanently tuned to a show called Jonesy's A Bonehead." "Shit!" "Give me that." "I think you need to get your candle waxed, my friend." "Who don't?" "Not like you." "You got the worst case of blue balls I ever did see." "Yeah, right." "I'm serious." "This friend of mine, Ernie Banks, had himself a blowout." " What?" " Yeah, blowout." "Hell." "Wife walked out on him, and he swore off women." "A year, two." "His left nut, pop!" "Just like a damn cherry bomb." "Pop!" "That is the biggest load of crap I ever heard." "Yeah, maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but you, my friend, you could use a toss." "I don't got time to cosy up to skirts." "I ain't talking about courting." "I'm talking about Rita Sue." "I don't know." "She ain't pretty enough for you?" "No, that ain't it." "If money's a problem, I believe I can jigger a discount." "Forget it." "Let me ask you something." "You go to the doctor, he gives your sack a little squeeze, asks you to cough, you think he's sweet on you?" "Ain't the same thing." "That's exactly the same thing." "The woman's a professional." "And besides..." " you'd be doing me a favour." " Yeah?" "How's that?" "She's a high-stepper, that Rita Sue." "She's worn me out." "She needs a lot of loving." "My heart's bleeding all over the place for you." "I swear to God." "Hey, I ain't kidding around." "I'm chapped halfway up to my bellybutton." "I need a relief pitcher here." "You know, I got to work on this." "Come by tonight, after the first show." "Hell, Stumpy." "You want to show up, that's fine." "You don't want to show up... that's fine, too." "Shit." "Switch." "Some matching outfits, you could have something there." " You think?" " Sure, I do." "It ain't the Follies, but then this isn't hardly Manhattan, neither." "Seen the Hawkins boy?" "He lit out in the Chevy this morning." "Where to?" "Now then..." "Mr...?" "Mr. Doe." "Mind if I call you John?" "Apparently you jumped..." "No." "You threatened to jump off the John F Chellis bridge." "No?" "You don't remember?" "I remember." "I remember perfectly." "I've always been what I am." "And that is?" "The left hand of God." "What exactly does it mean to be the left hand of God?" "It means I'm no longer His servant." "And I never was." "I am His will made flesh." "Like Jesus?" "No." "Satan?" "No." "You've misspelled "excitation."" "I beg your pardon?" "You asked me what it meant to be the left hand of God." "I told you." "I broke a man's neck." "You never said..." "You broke a man's neck." "I willed it, and it was so." " Fascinating." " Yes." "And terrible." "Why don't you try that on me?" "Perhaps I already have." "Your treatments were not intended to be punitive." "The pain is an unavoidable side-effect." "Yes, quite right." "Pain is an unavoidable side-effect." "Might it be possible for me to get some paper and something to write with?" " A fountain pen, perhaps?" " I'm afraid that's out of the question." "No matter." "I don't think it will be necessary." "Thank you, Doctor." "Fill her up?" "I'm looking for a town called Gunderson." "Gunderson?" "Yeah." "Well..." "There's a Gunderville." "That's got a "Gunder" in it." "Where's it at?" "There's a fellow who lives up here, calls himself Scorpion Boy." " Scorpion Boy?" " He's got claws instead of hands." "No." "No Scorpion Boys." " Not around here." " Yeah." "Got us a Lobster Gal." "She's got claws." "Where's she at?" "You turn around... run on down about 15, 20 mile to the fork... and then you hook around to the lane." "Another mile or so, there's an old place, the Tucker place." "That's where Lobster Gal resides." "Thank you." "You're pretty light on your feet, missy." " Ma." " She is." "Where did you learn to dance?" " I don't know." "It just sort of..." " Comes natural?" "Libby baby, go get Mama one of them Nehis." "Scoot." "I want to thank you." "What for?" "It's a long time since I've seen my baby smiling and having all that fun up on the stage." "I was afraid Babylon took that away from her." "Hey, I got an idea." " What?" " Why don't you work the bally?" "I really couldn't." "Don't be jumping to conclusions." "I'm not asking you to strip or nothing." "Just get up there looking all coy while Felix turns the tip." "Get the rubes percolated for the real show." "You and Lib would have a lot of fun." "I can't." "I got a job, so..." "Besides, I think Mama would probably blow a gasket." "You know something?" "My mama felt the exact same way, which is why I got into this business." "Ma, what are you doing?" "I'm gonna go." "Come by later?" "Be sure and tell your mama hi for me." "You don't even know her mama." "What's to know?" "She's a stiff." "I'm just being polite." "I can't believe you tried to put the hustle on her." " Hustle?" " Don't give me that." " You know exactly..." " I didn't do anything." "She's not some dumb Nell you can just grind into the show." "She's got class." "I am just trying to make you happy." "Why Hawkins?" "Can you tell me that?" "It's a delicate situation." "He's the only one around who knows how to keep his trap shut unlike some people I know." "Samson, I'm not an idiot." "The boy's a prison escapee, a fugitive and yet you think nothing of giving him $15 cash, plus a car?" "Yeah." "Doesn't that strike you as... imprudent?" "Half the guys in this place are jailbirds, I send them out on runs all the time." "They always come back." "Mostly always." " What if he doesn't come back?" " I don't know, what do you think?" "I think you've made a very large mistake, my friend." "Mistake?" "What mistake?" "You yourself said the kid is a bumpkin." " He's not just a..." " He's not just a bumpkin." "Why don't you tell me?" "What is he... exactly?" "Is this where the Lobster Gal lives?" "You with the freak show?" "Yeah." "Hello, young buck." "What kept you?" "We don't need to talk about this." "I told her no." "Why are you nagging me for something I haven't even done?" "You know what?" "Maybe I would." "At least Libby's mother treats her daughter with a little respect." "You're one to talk." "At least she knows who her father is." " Clayton Jones?" " Yep." "Jonesy?" " I figured he's..." " I don't roll with trade." " I know, but..." " But nothing, that is the way it is." "No tricks with carny folk." "Come on, baby, it's not like this is hard and fast." "Whose idea was this?" "Jonesy out there, he..." " What do you mean?" " Whose idea, you or Jones?" "It was his." "I wouldn't have set this up independent." "The poor sap, he practically begged me." " Is that so?" " Yes, ma'am." "You're lying to me." "This was your doing." "Why would you wanna do something like this to us?" "I'm not doing anything, it's just another damn trick." "Fine, line him up." " Rita..." " I said fine." "Hi, Sofie." "Good afternoon, friends, this is Tommy Dolan with more True Tales From On The Road." "Unless you've been visiting Mars lately you've probably been following the story of Brother Justin, originally recounted by this reporter." "Up and down the Golden State one question has crossed the lips of men, women, and children alike, white, black, brown, and yellow." "Be still." "The question scrawled on water towers, boxcars and bridge abutments from Crescent City to Calexico." "A question that has become a rallying cry for the disenfranchised..." ""Where are you, Brother Justin?"" "Watch out for the upholstery, darling." "Hey, no hard feelings, I hope." "Have yourself a Goo Goo, boy." "What do you want?" "Hell, you don't have to get all sore about it." "Us freak finders gotta stick together." "You're with Samson's outfit." "Him and me go way back." "Phineas Boffo." "You don't have to be a sourpuss about it." "Put her there, kid." "Jesus!" "Let me go!" " What is it?" " Hell's bells, kid!" "It's my lodge ring, you know, the craft." "Give me my ring back." "Goddamn thief, come back with my ring!" " I keep my underthings on?" " As long as you're not flashing straps." "Be sure and keep an eye on the crowd." "Don't want to cause a ruckus." " Are you mad at me?" " No." "Why the hell are you brushing me bald?" " I was just..." " Just what?" "I can't believe you fell for that old hustle." "What hustle?" ""Gal, you're a natural."" "What a big load of crap." "She's done it a thousand times." "Get some dumb bunny up on the bally." ""No, you don't have to take your clothes off." "Just stand there looking coy."" " I'm not dumb." " Then why can't you see through it?" "That bitch would say anything to get this show up." " That's not what this is about." " Really?" "Why don't you tell me what it's about?" "She saw us dancing." "She saw you smiling again, having fun." "And that's all she wants." "Just wants you to be happy again." "Like hell." "If you don't want me to do it, all you've gotta do is say so." "You find that Lobster Gal all right?" " Yeah, I found her." " Real freak, that one." "That's $2.81." " You wanna buy a chair?" " What?" "It's a real nice chair." "It's hickory." " I don't need a chair." " I'll sell it to you for a dollar." "It's worth five times that." "I'd like to keep it, but right now I need a tyre more then a chair." "Goddamn it." "Didn't I tell you to quit bugging the customers?" " Now get!" " Sorry!" "That's enough." " Keep the change, fix his tyre." " $2 ain't enough." "Five more." " Let me get that chair for you." " It's OK." "Gentlemen, you better hold on to your eyeballs cos they're gonna pop out of your head when you see what we have for you here this evening." "Here we have the exquisite Madam Woo, mysterious Empress of the East, here to prove to you whether it's true what they say about Oriental women... is the basket swinging straight up and down... or sideways?" "Yes, folks!" "Gentlemen..." " He's watching you." " Ignore him." "...a taste of what we have for you tonight." "What's shaking!" "What is baking!" "Let go." "What we have pumping!" "What we have sizzling!" "Get him off him!" "Son of a bitch." "Are you out of your goddamn gourd?" "What the hell are you thinking?" "Cut him loose." "Sorry, a little misunderstanding here." "What say to a few free tickets for you and your boys?" "When the hell are you gonna learn?" "Are you sure you're OK?" "Yeah." "Should have been paying more attention, that's all." "Stupid." "You all right?" "I'm real sorry." " But I can't let that happen again." " It won't." "I know." " Am I fired?" " Darlin', you was never hired." "You saw, it was stupid Jonesy..." "Don't you dare." "Don't you dare badmouth that man." "You're goddamn lucky to have any man feel that strong about you." "Goddamn lucky." "I told you, I've never done this before." "So if you wanna chew me out, you go right ahead," " cos this is at least half your doing." " Why, what happened?" "Some weasel gave me bum directions and he beat me to the punch." "Weasel?" "Sounds like the kid's got your number, Phin." "Give me back my goddamn ring." "Here's the ring." "Why are you making such a fuss over this crackerjack penny whistle?" "That is solid, 10-carat white gold." "It set me back $19." "You look it here, bub." "Carnies don't steal from carnies." "That is the code." "What do you call what you did with that Lobster Gal?" "He got you there, Phin." "If he wasn't one of yours, I would've clobbered him." " See you later, Samson." " See you." " And you're $10 short." " I had to fill up." "That's three." "I'll make it good." " Yeah, you will." " OK, then." "Hell." "I thought that was you." "You just gonna stand there?" " Rough night." " Yeah." "Go on, have a seat." "What's the matter, tiger?" "You shy?" "I was just thinking that... maybe this is a real bad idea." "I mean, I think you're real pretty and all... and I like you fine... but I never paid for..." "Don't." "It's OK." "The boy has no idea at present." "And undoubtedly has had precious few, if any at all ideas." "Yes, I agree." "But we certainly can't rule out the possibility that Scudder..." "Samson, leave us."