"[Man] "Once upon a time there wasa lovelyprincess." ""Butshe hadan enchantment upon herofa fearfulsort..." ""which couldonlybe broken by love's first kiss." ""She waslockedaway in a castle... 'guardedbya terrible fire-breathing dragon." ""Manybrave knightshadattempted to free herfrom this dreadfulprison," ""but noneprevailed." ""She waitedin the dragon'skeep..." ""in the highest room ofthe tallest tower... forhertrue love andtrue love's first kiss. "'" "[ Laughing ] Like that's ever gonna happen." " [PaperRustling, Toilet Flushes]" " What a loadof" "Somebodyonce toldme the worldisgonna rollme lain 't thesharpest tool in theshed" "She waslookin'kindofdumb with herfingerandherthumb ln theshape ofan "L "' on herforehead" "Theyearsstart comin ' andthey don'tstop comin'" "Fedto the rules andlhit thegroundrunnin'" "Didn 't makesense not to live forfun" "Yourbraingets smart butyourheadgets dumb" "So much to do So much to see" "So what's wrong with takin'the backstreets" "You'llneverknow ifyou don'tgo" "You'llnevershine ifyou don't glow" "Hey, now You're an all-star" "Getyourgame on, goplay" "Hey, now, you're a rockstar Get theshowon, getpaid" "Andallthat glitters isgold" "Onlyshootin'stars break the mould lt'sa coolplace andtheysay itgets colder" "You're bundledup now but wait tillyouget older" "But the meteormen beg to differ" "Judging bythe hole in thesatellitepicture" "The ice we skate isgettin'prettythin" "The water'sgetting warm soyou might as wellswim" "My world's on fire How 'boutyours" "That's the wayllike it andl'llneverget bored" " Hey, now, you're an all-star - [ Shouting ]" "Getyourgame on, goplay" "Hey, now, you're a rockstar Get theshowon, getpaid" "Andallthat glitters isgold" "Onlyshootin'stars break the mould" "[ Belches ]" " Go!" " Go!" " [RecordScratching]" " Go." "Go." "Go." "Hey, now You're an all-star" "Getyourgame on, goplay" "Hey, now, you're a rockstar Get theshowon, getpaid" "Andallthat glitters isgold" "Onlyshootin'stars break the mould" " Think it's in there?" " All right." "Let's get it!" "Whoa." "Hold on." "Do you know what that thing can do to you?" "Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread." "[Laughs] Yes, well, actually, that wouldbe agiant." "Now, ogres-- They're much worse." "They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin." " No!" " They'll shave your liver." "Squeeze thejelly from your eyes!" " Actually, it's quite good on toast." " Back!" "Back, beast!" "Back!" "I warn ya!" " [ Gasping ]" " Right." "[ Roaring ]" " [ Shouting ] - [ Roaring ]" "[ Roaring Continues ]" "[ Shouting Continues ]" "[ Whispers ] This is the part where you run away." " [ Gasping ] - [ Laughs ]" "[Laughing]" "And stay out!" ""Wanted." "Fairy tale creatures."" "[ Sighs ]" "[Man's Voice] Allright." "This one's full." " Take it away!" " [ Gasps ]" " Move it along." "Come on!" "Get up!" " Next!" "Give me that!" "Your flying days are over." "That's 20 pieces ofsilver for the witch." "Next!" " Get up!" "Come on!" " Twenty pieces." " [Thudding]" " Sit down there!" " Keep quiet!" " [Crying]" "This cage is too small." "Please don't turn me in." "I'll never be stubborn again." "I can change." "Please!" "Give me another chance!" " Oh, shut up." " Oh!" " Next!" " What have you got?" " This little wooden puppet." "I'm not a puppet." "I'm a real boy." "Five shillings for the possessed toy." " Take it away." " Father, please!" "Don't let them do this!" " Help me!" " Next." "What have you got?" " Well, I've got a talking donkey." " [ Grunts ]" "Right." "Well, that's good for ten shillings, ifyou can prove it." "Oh, go ahead, little fella." "Well?" "Oh, oh, he'sjust-- He'sjust a little nervous." "He's really quite a chatterbox." "Talk, you boneheaded dolt" "That's it." "I've heard enough." "Guards!" " No, no, he talks!" "He does." "I can talk." "I love to talk." "I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw." " Get her out of my sight." " No, no!" "I swear!" "Oh!" "He can talk!" "[ Gasps ]" "Hey!" "I can fly!" " He can fly!" " He can fly!" " He can talk!" " Ha, ha!" "That's right, fool!" "Now I'm a flying, talking donkey." "You might have seen a house fly, maybe even a super fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly." "Ha, ha!" "Uh-oh." "[ Grunts ]" "Seize him!" "After him!" "He's getting away!" "[ Grunts, Gasps ]" "[Man] Get him!" "This way!" "Turn!" "You there." "Ogre!" "Aye?" "By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest... and transport you to a designated... resettlement facility." "Oh, really?" "You and what army?" "[ Gasps, Whimpering ]" "[ Chuckles ]" "Can I say something to you?" "Listen, you was really, really somethin' back there." "Incredible!" "Are you talkin' to-- me?" "Whoa!" "Yes, I was talkin' to you." "Can I tell you that you was great back there?" "Those guards!" "They thought they was all ofthat." "Then you showed up, and bam!" "They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods." "That really made me feel good to see that." " Oh, that's great." "Really." " Man, it's good to be free." "Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?" "Hmm?" "But, uh, I don't have any friends." "And I'm not goin' out there by myself." "Hey, wait a minute!" "I got a great idea!" "I'll stick with you." "You're a mean, green, fiightin' machine." "Together we'll scare the spit out ofanybody that crosses us." "[ Roaring ]" "Oh, wow!" "That was really scary." "Ifyou don't mindmesayin ', ifthat don't work, yourbreath certainly willget thejob done, 'cause you defiinitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks!" "You almost burnedthe hair outta mynose, just like the time-- [ Mumbling ]" "Then I ate some rotten berries." "I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day." "Why are you following me?" "I'll tell you why." "'Cause I'm all alone" "There's no one here beside me" "Myproblems have allgone" "There's no one to deride me" "But you gotta have friends" "Stop singing!" "It's no wonder you don't have any friends." "Wow." "Only a true friend would be that truly honest." "Listen, little donkey." "Take a look at me." "What am I?" "Uh" " Really tall?" " No!" "I'm an ogre." "You know." ""Grab your torch and pitchforks."" "Doesn't that botheryou?" "Nope." " Really?" " Really, really." " Oh." " Man, I like you." "What's your name?" "Uh, Shrek." "Shrek?" "Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?" "You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody- thinks-of-me thing." "I like that." "I respect that, Shrek." "You all right." "Whoo!" "Look at that." "Who'd want to live in a place like that?" "That would be my home." "Oh!" "And it is lovely!" "Just beautiful." "You are quite a decorator." "It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget." "I like that boulder." "That is a nice boulder." "I guess you don't entertain much, do you?" "I like my privacy." "You know, I do too." "That's another thing we have in common." "Like, I hate it when you got somebody in your face." "You're trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave." "There's that awkward silence." " Can I stay with you?" " Uh, what?" "Can I stay with you, please?" " Ofcourse!" " Really?" " No." " Please!" "I don't wanna go back there!" "You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak." "Well, maybe you do." "But that's why we gotta stick together." "You gotta let me stay!" " Please!" "Please!" " Okay!" "Okay!" " But one night only." " Ah!" "Thankyou!" " What are you" " No!" "No!" " This is gonna be fun!" "We can stay up late, swapping' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles." " Oh!" " Where do, uh, I sleep?" "Outside!" "Oh, well, I guess that's cool." "I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know." "[ Sniffles ] Here I go." "Good night." "[ Sighs ] lmean, ldo like the outdoors." "I'm a donkey. I wasborn outside." "I'lljust besitting by myself outside, lguess, you know." "By myself, outside." "I'm allalone There'sno one here beside me" "[ Bubbling ]" "[ Sighs ]" "[Creaking]" "[ Sighs ] I thought I told you to stay outside." " I am outside." " [Clattering]" "[Clattering]" "Well, gents, it'sa farcryfrom the farm, but what choice do we have?" "It's not home, but it'll dojust fline." "What a lovely bed." " Got ya." " [ Sniffs ] I found some cheese." " Ow!" "[ Grunts ]" " Blah!" "Awful stuff." " Is that you, Gorder?" " How did you know?" "Enough!" "What are you doing in my house?" "[ Grunts ] Hey!" " [ Snickers ]" " Oh, no, no, no." " Dead broad offthe table." " Where are we supposed to put her?" "The bed's taken." "Huh?" "[ Gasps ]" "[ Male Voice ] What?" "I live in a swamp." "I put up signs." "I'm a terrifying ogre!" "What do I have to do to get a little privacy?" " Aah!" " Oh, no." "Oh, no." " No!" "No!" " [ Cackling ]" " [ Cackling Continues ]" " What?" " Quit it." " Don't push." " [ Squeaking ] - [ Lows ]" "What are you doing in my swamp?" "[Echoing] Swamp!" "Swamp!" "Swamp!" " [ Gasping ]" " Oh, dear!" "Whoa!" "All right, get out of here." "All ofyou, move it!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Hapaya!" "Hapaya!" "Hey!" " Quickly." "Come on!" " No, no!" "No, no." "Not there." "Not there." " Oh!" " [ Sighs ]" "Hey, don't look at me." "I didn't invite them." "Oh, gosh, no one invited us." " What?" " We were forced to come here." " By who?" " LordFarquaad." "He huffed und he puffed und he..." "signed an eviction notice." "[ Sighs ] All right." "Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?" " [ Murmuring ]" " Oh, I do." "I know where he is." "Does anyone else know where to fiind him?" " Anyone at all?" " Me!" "Me!" " Anyone?" " Oh!" "Oh, pick me!" "Oh, I know!" "I know!" "Me, me!" "[ Sighs ] Okay, fline." "Attention, all fairy tale things." "Do not get comfortable." "Your welcome is offiicially worn out." "In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now... and get you all off my land and back where you came from!" "[ Cheering ]" " [ Twittering ] - [ Cheering Continues ]" "Oh!" "You!" "You're comin' with me." "All right, that's what I like to hear, man." "Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, offon a whirlwind big-city adventure." "I love it!" " On the road again Sing it with me, Shrek." " Hey." "Oh, oh!" "I can't wait to get on the road again" "What did I say about singing?" " Can I whistle?" " No." " Can I hum it?" " All right, hum it." "[ Humming ]" "[ Grunts ]" "[Whimpering]" "That's enough." "He's ready to talk." "[Coughing]" "[ Laughing ]" "[ Clears Throat ]" "Run, run, run, as fast as you can." "You can't catch me." "I'm the gingerbread man!" " You're a monster." " I'm not the monster here." "You are." "You and the rest ofthat fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world." "Now, tell me!" "Where are the others?" " Eat me!" " [ Grunts ]" "I've tried to be fair to you creatures." "Now my patience has reached its end!" "Tell me or I'll" "No, no, not the buttons." "Not my gumdrop buttons." "All right then." "Who's hiding them?" "Okay, I'll tell you." "Do you know the muffiin man?" " The muffiin man?" " The muffiin man." "Yes, I know the muffiin man, who lives on Drury Lane?" "Well, she's married to the muffiin man." " The muffiin man?" " The muffiin man!" " She's married to the muffiin man." " [DoorOpens]" "My lord!" "We found it." "Then what are you waiting for?" "Bring it in." "[Man Grunting]" " [ Gasping ]" " Oh!" " Magic mirror" " Don't tell him anything!" "No!" " [GingerbreadMan Whimpers]" " Evening." "Mirror, mirror, on the wall." "Is this not the most perfect kingdom ofthem all?" "Well, technically you're not a king." "Uh, Thelonius." " You were saying?" " What I mean is, you're not a king yet." "But you can become one." "All you have to do is marry a princess." " Go on." " [ Chuckles ]" "So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time foryou to meet today's eligible bachelorettes." "And here they are!" "Bachelorette numberone isa mentallyabusedshut-in from a kingdom far, faraway." "She likessushi andhot tubbinganytime." "Herhobbies include cooking andcleaning forhertwo evilsisters." "Please welcome Cinderella." "Bachelorette numbertwo isa cape-wearinggirl from the landoffancy." "Although she lives with seven othermen, she'snot easy." "Just kissherdead, frozen lips andfindout what a live wire she is." "Come on." "Give it up forSnow White!" "Andlast, but certainlynot least, bachelorette numberthree isa fieryredhead... from a dragon-guardedcastle surroundedbyhot boiling lava!" "But don't let that coolyou off." "She'sa loadedpistol who likespina coladas andgetting caught in the rain." "Yours forthe rescuing, Princess Fiona!" "So willit be bachelorette numberone, bachelorette numbertwo orbachelorette numberthree?" " Two!" "Two!" " Three!" "Three!" " Two!" "Two!" " Three!" "Three?" "One?" "[ Shudders ] Three?" "Three!" "Pick number three, my lord!" "Okay, okay, uh, number three!" "Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona." "Ifyou lovepina coladas" " Andgetting caught in the rain" " Princess Fiona." " lfyou're not intoyoga" " She's perfect." "All I have to do is just fiind someone who can go" "But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night." " I'll do it." " Yes, but after sunset" "Silence!" "I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, andDuLoc willfinally have theperfect king!" "Captain, assemble your fiinest men." "We're going to have a tournament." "But that's it." "That's it right there." "That's DuLoc." "I told ya I'd fiind it." "So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle." "[Donkey] Uh-huh." "That's theplace." "Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?" "[ Laughs ]" "[ Groans ]" "Hey, wait." "Wait up, Shrek." "Hurry, darling." "We're late." "Hurry." " Hey, you!" " [ Screams ]" "Wait a second." "Look, I'm notgonna eatya." " I just" " I just-- - [ Whimpering ]" "[ Sighs ]" "[ Whimpering, Groans ]" "[Turnstile Clatters]" "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Sighs ]" "[ Instrumental Muzak ]" "It's quiet." "Too quiet." "[ Creaking ]" " Where is everybody?" " Hey, look at this!" "[Clattering, Whirring, Clicking]" "[Clicking]" "[Clicking Quickens]" "Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town" "Here we have some rules Let us lay them down" "Don't make waves, stay in line and we'llget along fine" "DuLoc is a perfect place" "Please keep offofthe grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face" "DuLoc is, DuLoc is" "DuLoc is a perfect" " Place - [Camera ShutterClicks]" "[ Whirring ]" "Wow!" "Let's do that again!" "No." "No." "No, no, no!" "No." "[Trumpet Fanfare]" " [Crowd Cheering] - [Farquaad] Brave knights." " You are the best andbrightest in allthe land." " [DonkeyHumming]" "Todayone ofyou shallprove himself" "All right." "You're going the right way for a smacked bottom." " Sorry about that." " [Cheering]" "That champion shall have the honour-- no, no-- the privilege... to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona... from the fiiery keep ofthe dragon." "lfforany reason the winneris unsuccessful, the fiirst runner-up will take his place... and so on and so forth." "Some ofyou may die, but it's a sacrifiice I am willing to make." "[Cheering]" "Let the tournament begin!" " [ Gasps ]" " Oh!" " What is that?" " [ Gasping ]" " It's hideous!" " Ah, that's not very nice." " It'sjust a donkey." " Huh?" "Indeed." "Knights, new plan!" "The one who kills the ogre willbe namedchampion!" "Have at him!" " Get him!" " Oh, hey!" "Now come on!" "Hang on now." "[ Woman ] Go ahead!" "Get him!" "Can't wejust settle this over a pint?" "[Man] Killthe beast!" "No?" "All right then." "Come on!" "ldon't give a damn about my reputation" " You're living in thepast lt'sa newgeneration" " Damn!" " [ Whinnying ]" " A girlcan do whatshe wants to do" "Andthat's what I'mgonna do" "Andldon't give a damn about mybadreputation" "Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me" "Me, me, me" " Hey, Shrek, tag me!" "Tag me!" "Andldon't give a damn about my reputation" "Neversaidl wanted to improve mystation" "Ah!" "[ Laughs ]" " Andl'm always feelin'good when I'm having fun" " Yeah!" "Andldon't have toplease no one" "The chair!" "Give him the chair!" "Andldon't give a damn about mybadreputation" "Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me" "Me, me, me" "Oh, no, no, no, no" "Not me, not me" " Not me - [BellDings]" " [ Cheering ] - [ Laughs ]" "Oh, yeah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Thankyou!" "Thankyou verymuch!" "I'm here till Thursday." "Try the veal!" "Ha, ha!" " [ShrekLaughs] - [CrowdGasping, Murmuring]" "Shall I give the order, sir?" "No, I have a better idea." "People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!" " What?" " Congratulations, ogre." "You've won the honour of embarking on a great and noble quest." "Quest?" "I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back." " Your swamp?" " Yeah, my swamp!" "Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures!" " [CrowdMurmuring]" " Indeed." "All right, ogre, I'll make you a deal." "Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back." "Exactly the way it was?" "Down to the last slime-covered toadstool." " And the squatters?" " As good as gone." "What kind ofquest?" "[ Donkey ] Let me get this straight." "You're gonna go flight a dragon... and rescue a princessjust so Farquaad will give you back a swamp... which you only don't have because he fiilled it full of freaks in the fiirst place." " Is that about right?" " Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk." "I don't get it." "Why don't you just pull some ofthat ogre stuffon him?" "Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip." "Oh, I know what." "Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village... and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids." "Does that sound good to you?" "Uh, no, not really, no." "Foryour information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think." " Example?" " Example?" " Okay, um, ogres are like onions." " [ Sniffs ] They stink?" " Yes" " No!" " They make you cry?" " No!" "You leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting' little white hairs." "No!" "Layers!" "Onions have layers." "Ogres have layers!" "Onions have layers." "You get it?" "We both have layers." "[ Sighs ]" "Oh, you both have layers." "Oh." "[ Sniffs ] You know, not everybody likes onions." "Cake!" "Everybody loves cakes!" "Cakes have layers." "I don't care..." "what everyone likes." "Ogres are not like cakes." "You know what else everybody likes?" "Parfaits." "Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait,"" "they say, "No, I don't like no parfait"?" " Parfaits are delicious." " No!" "You dense, irritating, miniature beast ofburden!" "Ogres are like onions!" "End ofstory." "Bye-bye." "See ya later." "Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet." "You know, I think I preferred your humming." "Doyou have a tissue orsomething?" "I'm makinga mess." "Just the wordparfait make mestartslobbering." "I'm on my way from misery to happiness today" "Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh I'm on my way from misery to happiness today" "Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh" "Andeverything thatyou receive upyonder ls whatyougive to me the dayl wander I'm on my way" "I'm on my way I'm on my way" "Ooh!" "Shrek!" "Did you do that?" "You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off." "My mouth was open." "Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead." "[ Sniffs ] It's brimstone." " We must be getting close." " Yeah, right, brimstone." "Don't be talking about it's the brimstone." "I know what I smell." "It wasn't no brimstone." "It didn't come off no stone neither." "[Rumbling]" "Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location." "[ Laughing ]" "Uh, Shrek?" "Uh, remember when you said ogres have layers?" "Oh, aye." "Well, I have a bit ofa confession to make." "Donkeys don't have layers." "We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves." " Wait a second." "Donkeys don't have sleeves." " You know what I mean." "You can't tell me you're afraid of heights." "I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!" "Come on, Donkey." "I'm right here besideya, okay?" "For emotional support, we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time." " Really?" " Really, really." " Okay, that makes me feel so much better." "Just keep moving." " And don't look down." " Okay, don't look down." "Don't look down." "Don't look down." "Keep on moving." "Don't look down." "[ Gasps ] Shrek!" "I'm lookin' down!" "Oh, God, I can't do this!" "Just let me off, please!" " But you're already halfway." " But I know that half is safe!" "Okay, fline." "I don't have time for this." "You go back." " Shrek, no!" "Wait!" "Just, Donkey" " Let's have a dance then, shall we?" " Don't do that!" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Do what?" " Oh, this?" " Yes, that!" "Yes?" "Yes, do it." "Okay." "[ Screams ] No, Shrek!" " No!" "Stop it!" " You said do it!" "I'm doin' it." "I'm gonna die." "I'm gonna die." "Shrek, I'm gonna die." "Oh!" "That'll do, Donkey." "That'll do." "Cool." "[ Donkey ] So where is this fiire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?" "Inside, waiting for us to rescue her." "[ Chuckles ] I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek." "[WaterDripping]" "[WindHowling]" "[ Donkey Whispering ] You afraid?" "No, but" " Shh." "Oh, good." "Me neither." "[ Gasps ]" "'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid." "Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation." "Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add." "With a dragon that breathes fiire and eats knights and breathes fiire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward ifyou're a little scared." "I sure as heck ain't no coward." "I know that. [ Gasps ]" "Donkey, two things, okay?" "Shut... up." "Now go over there and see ifyou can fiind any stairs." "Stairs?" "I thought we was lookin' for the princess." "The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower." " What makes you think she'll be there?" " I read it in a book once." "Cool." "You handle the dragon." "I'll handle the stairs." "I'll fiind those stairs." "I'll whip their butt too." "Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'." "[ Creaking ]" "I'm gonna take drastic steps." "Kick it to the kerb." "Don't mess with me." "I'm the stair master." "I've mastered the stairs." "I wish I had a step right here." "I'd step all over it." "Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the" "Dragon!" "[ Screams ]" "[ Gasps ]" "[ Roars ]" "Donkey, look out!" "[ Screams ]" "[ Screams ]" "[ Whimpering ]" " Got ya!" " [ Roars ]" "[ Gasps ]" "[ Shouts ] Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "[ Screaming ]" "[ Gasps ]" "Oh!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "[ Gasping ]" "[ Growls ]" "No." "Oh, no." "No!" "[ Screams ]" " Oh, what large teeth you have." " [ Growls ]" "I mean, white, sparkling teeth." "I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there." "Do I detect a hint of minty freshness?" "And you know what else?" "You're" " You're a girl dragon!" "Oh, sure!" "I mean, ofcourse you're a girl dragon." "You'rejust reeking offeminine beauty." "What's the matter with you?" "You got something in your eye?" "Ooh." "Oh." "Oh." "Man, I'd really love to stay, but, you know, I'm, uh-- [ Coughs ]" "I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings." "Shrek!" "[ Gasps ]" "[ Whimpering ] No!" "Shrek!" "Shrek!" "Shrek!" "[ Groans, Sighs ]" "[Chorus Vocalizing]" "[ Vocalizing Continues]" "[ Vocalizing Continues]" "Oh!" "Oh!" " Wake up!" " What?" "Are you Princess Fiona?" "I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me." "Oh, that's nice." "Now let's go!" "But wait, Sir Knight." "This be-ith our fiirst meeting." "Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" " Yeah, sorry, lady." "There's no time." " Hey, wait." "What areyou doing?" "You should sweep me off my feet... out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed." "You've had a lot oftime to plan this, haven't you?" "Mm-hmm." "[ Screams, Grunts ]" "But we have to savour this moment!" "You could recite an epic poem for me." "A ballad?" "A sonnet!" " A limerick?" "Or something!" " I don't think so." "Can I at least know the name of my champion?" "Um, Shrek." "Sir Shrek." "[ Clears Throat ]" "I pray that you take this favour as a token of my gratitude." "Thanks!" "[Roaring]" "You didn't slay the dragon?" " It's on my to-do list." "Now come on!" " [ Screams ]" "But this isn't right!" "You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying." "That's what all the other knights did." "Yeah, right before theyburst into flame." "That's not the point." "Oh!" "Wait." "Where are you going?" "The exit's over there." "Well, I have to save my ass." "What kind of knight are you?" "One ofa kind." "[Donkey] Slowdown." "Slowdown, baby, please." "Ibelieve it'shealthytoget to knowsomeone overa longperiodoftime." "Just callme old-fashioned." "[Laughs]" "I don't want to rush into a physical relationship." "I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this" "Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for." "Magnitude" " Hey, that is unwanted physical contact." "Hey, what are you doing?" "Okay, okay." "Let'sjust back up a little andtake this onestep at a time." "We reallyshouldget to knoweach other first asfriends orpenpals." "I'm on the roada lot, but ljust love receiving cards" "I'd really love to stay, but" "Don't do that!" "That's my tail!" "That's my personal tail." "You're gonna tear it off." "I don't give permission" " What are you gonna do with that?" "Hey, now." "No way." "No!" "No!" "No, no!" "No." "No, no, no!" "No!" "Oh!" "[ Growls ]" "[ Roars ]" " [Roaring] - [ Gasps ]" " Hi, Princess!" " It talks!" "Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick." "[ Screams ]" "[ Screaming ]" "Oh!" " [Thuds] - [ Groans ]" "[ Shrek Groans ]" "[ Roars ]" "[ Roars ]" "[ Roaring ]" "[ Roars ]" "Okay, you two, head for the exit!" "I'll take care ofthe dragon." "[ Echoing ] Run!" "[ Gasping ]" "[ Screaming ]" "[ Roaring ]" " [ Screams ] - [ Roars ]" "[ Panting, Sighs ]" "[ Whimpers ]" "[ Roars ]" "[ Roars, Whimpers ]" " [Dragon Growling ln The Distance]" " You did it!" "You rescued me!" "You're amazing." "You're" "You're wonderful." "You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit." "But thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure." " I am eternally in your debt." " [ Clears Throat ]" "And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?" "I hope you heard that." "She called me a noble steed." "She think I'm a steed." "[Fiona Laughs] The battle is won." "You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight." " Uh, no." " Why not?" "I have helmet hair." "Please." "I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer." "No, no, you wouldn't-- 'st." "But how will you kiss me?" "What?" "That wasn't in thejob description." "Maybe it's a perk." "No, it's destiny." "Oh, you must know how it goes." "A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon... is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's fiirst kiss." "Hmm?" "With Shrek?" "You think" " Wait." "Wait." "You think that Shrek is your true love?" "Well, yes." " [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ]" "You think Shrek is your true love!" "What is so funny?" "Let'sjust say I'm not your type, okay?" "Ofcourse, you are." "You're my rescuer." "Now" " Now remove your helmet." "Look." "I really don't think this is a good idea." "Just take offthe helmet." " I'm not going to." " Take it off." " No!" " Now!" " Okay!" "Easy." "As you command, Your Highness." "You" " You're a-- an ogre." "Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming." "Well, yes, actually." "Oh, no." "This is all wrong." "You're not supposed to be an ogre." "[ Sighs ] Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay?" "He's the one who wants to marry you." "Then why didn't he come rescue me?" "Good question." "You should ask him that when we get there." "But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his-- his pet." "So much for noble steed." "You're not making myjob any easier." "I'm sorry, but yourjob is not my problem." "You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly," "I'll be waiting for him right here." "Hey!" "I'm no one's messenger boy, all right?" "I'm a delivery boy." "You wouldn't dare." " Put me down!" " Ya comin', Donkey?" "I'm right behind ya." "Put me down, oryou will suffer the consequences!" "This is not dignifiied!" "Put me down!" "[ Screams ]" "Okay, so here's anotherquestion." "Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way." "How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten?" "You just tell her she's not your true love." "Everyone knowest what happens when you fiind your" "Hey!" "[ Sighs ]" "The sooner we get to DuLoc the better." "You're gonna love it there, Princess." "It's beautiful!" "And what of my groom-to-be?" "Lord Farquaad?" "What's he like?" "Let me put it this way, Princess." "Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply." "[ Laughs ]" "I don't know." "There are those who think little of him." "[ Both Laughing ]" "Stop it." "Stop it, both ofyou." "You'rejustjealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad." "Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess." "But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "It'll take that long?" " Shouldn't we stop to make camp?" " No, that'll take longer." " We can keep going." " But there's robbers in the woods." "Whoa!" "Time out, Shrek!" "Camping's starting to sound good." "Hey, come on." "I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest." "I need to fiind somewhere to camp now!" "[Bird Wings Fluttering]" "[ Grunting ]" " Hey!" "Over here." " Shrek, we can do better than that." "I don't think this is fiit for a princess." "No, no, it's perfect." "Itjust needs a few homey touches." " Homey touches?" "Like what?" " [Crashing]" "A door?" "Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night." "You want me to read you a bedtime story?" "I will." "lsaidgoodnight!" "Shrek, what are you doing?" "[ Laughs ] I just" " You know" " Oh, come on." "I wasjust kidding." "[Fire Crackling]" "And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to everspit overthree wheat fields." "Right." "Yeah." "Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?" "The stars don't tell the future, Donkey." "They tell stories." "Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent." " You can guess what he's famous for." " I know you're making this up." "No, look." "There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench." "That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots." "Sometimes things are more than they appear." "Hmm?" "Forget it." "[ Sighs ]" "Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?" "Our swamp?" "You know, when we're through rescuing the princess." "We?" "Donkey, there's no "we." There's no "our."" "There'sjust me and my swamp." "The fiirst thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land." "You cut me deep, Shrek." "You cut me real deep just now." "You know what I think?" "I think this whole wall thing isjust a way to keep somebody out." " No, do ya think?" " Are you hidin' something?" "Never mind, Donkey." "Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?" "No, this is one ofthose drop-it and leave-it-alone things." " Why don't you want to talk about it?" " Why do you want to?" " Why are you blocking?" " I'm not blocking." " Oh, yes, you are." " Donkey, I'm warning you." " Who you trying to keep out?" " Everyone!" "Okay?" "Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere." "Oh!" "For the love of Pete!" "What's your problem?" "What you got against the whole world?" "I'm not the one with the problem, okay?" "It's the world that seems to have a problem with me." "People take one look at me and go, "Aah!" "Help!" "Run!" "A big, stupid, ugly ogre!"" "[ Sighs ] Theyjudge me before they even know me." "That's why I'm better offalone." "You know what?" "When we met, I didn't thinkyou was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre." "Yeah, I know." "So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?" "Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying." "Okay, I see it now." "The big shiny one, right there." "That one there?" " That's the moon." " Oh, okay." "[Orchestra]" "[Dulcimer]" "[Farquaad] Again." "Showme again." "[Music Stops, Rewinds]" "Mirror, mirror, show her to me." "Show me the princess." " Hmph." " [ Rewinds, Resumes ]" "Ah." "Perfect." "[ Inhales ]" "[Snoring]" "[ Vocalizing ]" "[ Vocalizing Continues]" "[ Whistling ]" "[Whistling Continues]" " [ Vocalizes ] - [ Whistles ]" " [ Vocalizes ] - [ Whistles ]" " [ Vocalizing ] - [ Whistling ]" " [ Vocalizing, High-pitched ] - [ Whistling, High-pitched ]" "[Continues]" "[ Sizzling ]" "[ Sniffs, Yawns ]" "Mmm, yeah, you know llike it like that." " Come on, baby." "I said I like it." " Donkey, wake up." " Huh?" "What?" " Wake up." " What?" " Goodmorning." "How do you like your eggs?" " Good morning, Princess!" " What's all this about?" "We kind of got off to a bad start yesterday." "I wanted to make it up to you." "After all, you did rescue me." " Uh, thanks." " [ Sniffs ]" "Well, eat up." "We'vegot a big dayaheadofus." " [ Belches ]" " Shrek!" "What?" "It's a compliment." "Better out than in, I always say. [ Laughs ]" " Well, it's no way to behave in front ofa princess." " [ Belches ]" " Thanks." " She's as nasty as you are." "[ Laughs ] You know, you're not exactly what I expected." "Maybe you shouldn'tjudge people before you get to know them." "[ Vocalizing]" "[Man] La liberte!" "Hey!" "Princess!" " [ Laughs ]" " What are you doing?" "Be still, mon cherie, for I am your saviour!" "And I am rescuing you from this green-- [ Kissing Sounds ]" " beast." " Hey!" "That's my princess!" "Go fiind your own!" "Please, monster!" "Can't you see I'm a little busy here?" "Look, pal, I don't know who you thinkyou are!" "Oh!" "Ofcourse!" "Oh, how rude." "Please let me introduce myself." "Oh, Merry Men!" "[ Laughs ]" "[Accordion]" "Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo" "I steal from the rich and give to the needy" " He takes a wee percentage" " But I'm not greedy" "I rescue pretty damsels Man, I'm good" " What a guy, Monsieur Hood" " Break it down." "I like an honest flight and a saucy little maid" " What he's basically saying is he likes to get" " Paid" " So" " When an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush" " That's bad" " That's bad" "When a beauty's with a beast it makesme awfullymad" "He's mad He's really, really mad" "I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart" "Keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to start" "[ Grunts, Groans ]" " [ Karate Yell ] - [ Merry Men Gasping ]" "[Panting] Man, that wasannoying!" "Oh, you little" "[ Karate Yell ]" "[ Accordion ]" "[ Shouting, Groaning ]" "[ Groaning ]" "[ Chuckles ] Um, shall we?" " Hold the phone." " [ Grunts ]" "Oh!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Hold on now." " Where did that come from?" " What?" "That!" "Back there." "That was amazing!" "Where didyou learn that?" "Well-- [ Chuckles ] When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a" " There's an arrow in your butt!" " What?" " Oh, would you look at that?" " Oh, no." "This is all my fault." " I'm so sorry." " Why?" "What's wrong?" " Shrek's hurt." " Shrek's hurt." "Shrek's hurt?" "Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die." " Donkey, I'm okay." " You can't do this to me." "I'm too young foryou to die." "Keep your legs elevated." "Turn your head and cough." " Does anyone know the Heimlich?" " Donkey!" "Calm down." "Ifyou want to help Shrek, run into the woods and fiind me a blue flower with red thorns." "Blue flower, red thorns." "Okay, I'm on it." "Blue flower, red thorns." "Don't die, Shrek." "Ifyou see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!" " [ Both ] Donkey!" " Oh, yeah." "Right." "Blue flower, red thorns." " Blue flower, redthorns." " What are the flowers for?" " For getting rid of Donkey." " Ah." "Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out." "Ow!" "Hey!" "Easy with the yanking'." " I'm sorry, but it has to come out." " No, it's tender." "Now, hold on." " What you're doing is the opposite of help." " Don't move." " Look, time out." " Would you" "[ Grunts ] Okay." "What do you propose we do?" "Blue flower, red thorns." "Blue flower, red thorns." "Blue flower, red thorns." "This would be so much easier if I wasn't colour-blind!" " Blue flower, red thorns." " [Shrek] Ow!" "Hold on, Shrek!" "I'm comin'!" "Ow!" "Not good." "Okay." "Okay, I can nearly see the head." "[ Grunts ]" " It'sjust about" " Ow!" "Ohh!" "Ahem." "Nothing happened." "We werejust, uh" "Look, ifyou wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask." "Oh, come on!" "That's the last thing on my mind." "The princess here wasjust" " Ugh!" " Ow!" " Hey, what's that?" "[ Nervous Chuckle ] That's" " Is that blood?" "[ Sighs ]" "[Bird Chirping]" "[ Grunts ]" "Mybelovedmonsterandme" "Wego everywhere together" "Wearin'a raincoat that hasfoursleeves" " Gets us through allkinds ofweather" " Aah!" "She willalwaysbe the onlything" "That comesbetween me andthe awfulsting" "That comes from living in a world that'sso damn mean" "[ Croaks ]" "Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh" "Hey!" " La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la - [ Both Laughing ]" "La-la, la-la, la-la" "There it is, Princess." "Your future awaits you." " That's DuLoc?" " Yeah, I know." "You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really" " Ow!" "Um, I, uh" " I guess we better move on." " Sure." "But, Shrek?" " I'm" " I'm worried about Donkey." " [ Blubbering ]" " What?" " I mean, look at him." " He doesn't look so good." " What are you talking about?" "I'm fline." "That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back." " Dead." " You know, she's right." "You look awful." "Do you want to sit down?" " I'll make you some tea." " I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look." " [ Bones Crunch ]" " Ow!" "See?" "Who's hungry?" "I'll fiind us some dinner." "I'll get the fiirewood." "Hey, where you goin'?" "Oh, man, I can't feel my toes!" "I don't have any toes!" "I think I need a hug." "Mmm." "Mmm." "This is good." "This is really good." " What is this?" " Uh, weedrat." "Rotisserie style." "No kidding." "Well, this is delicious." "Well, they're also great in stews." "Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weedrat stew." "[ Chuckling ]" "[Sighs] lguessl'llbe dining a little differentlytomorrownight." "[ Gulps ] Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime." "I'll cook all kinds ofstuff foryou." "Swamp toad soup, fiish eye tartare-- you name it." "[ Chuckles ] I'd like that." "[ Slurps, Laughs ]" "See thepyramids along the Nile" "Um, Princess?" " Watch thesunrise from a tropic isle" " Yes, Shrek?" " I, um, I was wondering." " Just remember, darling allthe while" "Are you" "You belong to me" "[ Sighs ] Are you gonna eat that?" "[ Chuckles ]" " Man, isn't this romantic?" "Just look at that sunset." " Sunset?" "Oh, no!" "I mean, it's late." " I-It's very late." " What?" "Wait a minute." "I see what's goin' on here." " You're afraid ofthe dark, aren't you?" " Yes!" "Yes, that's it." "I'm terrifiied." "You know, I'd better go inside." "Don't feel bad, Princess." "I used to be afraid ofthe dark, too, until" "Hey, no, wait." "I'm still afraid ofthe dark." " [ShrekSighs]" " Good night." "Good night." " [ Door Creaks ] - [Donkey] Ohh!" "Now I really see what's goin' on here." "Oh, what are you talkin' about?" "I don't even wanna hear it." "Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts." "I know you two were diggin' on each other." "I could feel it." "You're crazy." "I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad." "Oh, come on, Shrek." "Wake up and smell the pheromones." "Just go on in and tell her how you feel." " I" "There's nothing to tell." "Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know-- and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't-- she's a princess, and I'm" "An ogre?" "Yeah." "An ogre." " Hey, where you goin'?" " To get... more fiirewood." "[ Sighs ]" "Princess?" "Princess Fiona?" "Princess, where are you?" "[Wings Fluttering]" "Princess?" " [Creaking] - [ Gasps ]" "It's very spooky in here." "I ain't playing no games." "[ Screams ]" " Aah!" " Oh, no!" " No, help!" " Shh!" " Shrek!" "Shrek!" "Shrek!" " No, it's okay." "It's okay." " What did you do with the princess?" " Donkey, I'm the princess." " Aah!" " It's me, in this body." "Oh, my God!" "You ate the princess!" " Can you hear me?" " Donkey!" " Listen, keep breathing!" "I'll get you out ofthere!" " No!" " Shrek!" "Shrek!" "Shrek!" " Shh." " Shrek!" " This is me." "[ Muffled Mumbling ]" "Princess?" "What happened to you?" "You're, uh, uh, uh, different." " I'm ugly, okay?" " Well, yeah!" "Was it something you ate?" "'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea." " You are what you eat, I said." "Now" " No." "I" " I've been this way as long as I can remember." "What do you mean?" "Look, I ain't never seen you like this before." "It only happens when the sun goes down." ""By night one way, by day another." ""This shall be the norm..." ""until you fiind true love's fiirst kiss... and then take love's true form."" "Ah, that's beautiful." "I didn't know you wrote poetry." "It's a spell." "[ Sighs ] When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me." "Every night I become this." "This horrible, ugly beast!" "I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me." "That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow... before the sun sets and he sees me... like this." "[ Sobs ]" "All right, all right." "Calm down." "Look, it's not that bad." "You're not that ugly." "Well, I ain't gonna lie." "You are ugly." "But you only look like this at night." "Shrek's ugly 24-7." "But, Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look." "Princess, how 'bout ifyou don't marry Farquaad?" "I have to." "Only my true love's kiss can break the spell." "But, you know, um, you're kind ofan ogre, and Shrek-- well, you got a lot in common." "Shrek?" "Princess, I-- Uh, how's it going, fiirst ofall?" "Good?" "Um, good for me too." "I'm okay." "I saw this flower and thought ofyou because it's pretty and-- well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty." "But I like you anyway." "I'd-- uh, uh" "[ Sighs ]" "I'm in trouble." "Okay, here we go." "[Fiona] lcan'tjust marry whoeverl want." "Take agoodlook at me, Donkey." "lmean, really, who couldeverlove a beast so hideousandugly?" ""Princess"'and "ugly"' don'tgo together." " That's whylcan't stayhere with Shrek." " [ Gasps ]" "Myonlychance to live happily everafteris to marry mytrue love." " [ Deep Sigh ]" " Don'tyousee, Donkey?" "That'sjust how it has to be." "It's the only way to break thespell." " You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth." " No!" "You can't breathe a word." "No one must ever know." "What's the point of being able to talk ifyou gotta keep secrets?" "Promise you won't tell." "Promise!" "All right, all right." "I won't tell him." "But you should." "I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot ofserious therapy." " Look at my eye twitching'." " [DoorOpens]" "[ Snoring ]" "[Fiona] ltellhim, ltellhim not." "I tell him, I tell him not." "I tell him." "Shrek!" "Shrek, there's something I want" "[ Snoring ]" "Shrek." " Are you all right?" " Perfect!" "Never been better." "I" " I don't-- There's something I have to tell you." "You don't have to tell me anything, Princess." " I heard enough last night." " You heard what I said?" "Every word." "I thought you'd understand." "Oh, I understand." "Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?"" "But I thought that wouldn't matter to you." "Yeah?" "Well, it does." "[ Gasps, Sighs ]" " Ah, right on time." " [Horse Whinnies]" "Princess, I've brought you a little something." "[Fanfare]" "[ Yawns ] What'd I miss?" "What'd I miss?" "[ Muffled ] Who said that?" "Couldn't have been a donkey." "Princess Fiona." "As promised." "Now hand it over." "Very well, ogre." "The deed toyourswamp, clearedout, asagreed." "Take it and go before I change my mind." "Forgive me, Princess, forstartlingyou, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before." "I am Lord Farquaad." "Lord Farquaad?" "Oh, no, no." " [ Snaps Fingers ]" " Forgive me, my lord, for I wasjust saying... a short... farewell." "That is so sweet." "You don't have to waste good manners on the ogre." "It's not like it has feelings." "No, you're right." "It doesn't." "Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona." " I askyour hand in marriage." " [ Gasps ]" "Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?" "Lord Farquaad, I accept." "Nothing would make" "Excellent!" "I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!" "No!" "I mean, uh, why wait?" "Let's get married today before the sun sets." "Oh, anxious, are we?" "You're right." "The sooner, the better." "There's so much to do!" "There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list." "Captain, round up some guests!" "[ Fiona ] Fare-thee-well, ogre." "Shrek, what are you doing?" "You're letting her get away." " Yeah?" "So what?" " Shrek, there's something about heryou don't know." "Look, I talked to her last night." "She's" "I know you talked to her last night." "You're great pals, aren't ya?" "Now, ifyou two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?" "Shrek, I-- I wanna go with you." "I told you, didn't I?" "You're not coming home with me." "I live alone!" "My swamp!" "Me!" "Nobody else!" "Understand?" "Nobody!" "Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!" " But I thought" " Yeah." "You know what?" "You thought wrong!" "Shrek." "lheardthere was a secret chord" "That Davidplayed anditpleasedthe Lord" "Butyou don't really care formusic, doya ltgoes like this the fourth, the fifth" "The minorfall the majorlift" "The baffledking composinghallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Baby, I've been here before lknowthis room I've walkedthis floor lusedto live alone before lknewyou" "I'veseenyourflag on the marble arch" "But love isnot a victorymarch lt'sa cold andit'sa broken hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Andalllever learnedfrom love lshowto shoot atsomeone" " Who outdrewyou - [Moaning]" "Andit'snot a cry you can hearat night lt'snotsomebody who'sseen the light" " lt'sa cold andit'sa broken hallelujah - [ Moaning ]" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "[Thumping Sound]" "Donkey?" " [ Grunts ]" " What are you doing?" "I would think, ofall people, you would recognize a wall when you see one." "Well, yeah." "But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it." "It is around your half." "See, that's your half, and this is my half." "Oh!" "Your half." "Hmm." "Yes, my half." "I helped rescue the princess." "I did halfthe work, I get halfthe booty." "Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head." " Back off!" " No, you back off." " This is my swamp!" " Our swamp." " Let go, Donkey!" " You let go." " Stubborn jackass!" " Smelly ogre." "Fine!" " Hey, come back here." "I'm not through with you yet." " Well, I'm through with you." "Uh-uh." "You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!"" "Well, guess what!" "Now it's my turn!" "So you just shut up and pay attention!" "You are mean to me." "You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do!" "You're always pushing me around or pushing me away." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?" "Because that's what friends do!" "They forgive each other!" "Oh, yeah." "You're right, Donkey." "I forgive you..." "for stabbing' me in the back!" "Ohh!" "You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid ofyour own feelings." " Go away!" " There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona." "All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you." "Love me?" "Shesaidl was ugly, a hideous creature." "lheardthe two ofyou talking." "She wasn't talkin' about you." "She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else." "She wasn't talking about me?" "Well, then who was she talking about?" "Uh-uh, no way." "I ain't saying anything." "You don't wanna listen to me." " Right?" "Right?" " Donkey!" " No!" " Okay, look." "I'm sorry, all right?" "Hmph." "[ Sighs ] I'm sorry." "I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre." "Can you forgive me?" "Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" "Right." "Friends?" "Friends." "So, um, what did Fiona say about me?" "What are you asking me for?" "Why don't you just go ask her?" "The wedding!" "We'll never make it in time." "Ha-ha-ha!" "Never fear, for where there's a will, there's a way, and I have a way." "[ Whistles ]" " Donkey?" " [ Donkey Laughing ] lguess it'sjust myanimalmagnetism." "[ Laughing ] Aw, come here, you." "All right, all right." "Don't get all slobbery." "No one likes a kiss ass." "All right, hop on and hold on tight." "I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet." "[ Donkey Laughing ] Whoo!" "[Bells Tolling]" "[ All Gasping ]" "People of DuLoc, we gather here today... to bear witness..." " to the union..." " Um-  ofour new king" " Excuse me." " Could wejust skip ahead to the "I do's"?" " [ Chuckling ]" "Go on." "Go ahead, have some fun." "Ifwe need you, I'll whistle." "How about that?" "Shrek, wait, wait!" "Wait a minute!" " You wanna do this right, don't you?" " What are you talking about?" "There's a line you gotta wait for." "The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace."" " That's when you say, "I object!"" " I don't have time for this!" "Wait." "What are you doing?" "Listen to me!" " Look, you love this woman, don't you?" " Yes." " You wanna hold her?" " Yes." " Please her?" " Yes!" "Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness" " The chicks love that romantic crap!" " All right!" "Cut it out." " When does this guy say the line?" " We gotta check it out." " [ Donkey Grunting ]" " And so, by the power vested in me," " [Shrek] What doyousee?" " The whole town's in there." " lnowpronounceyou husbandand wife," " They're at the altar." " kingandqueen." " Mother Fletcher!" "He already said it." " Oh, for the love of Pete!" " [ Grunts ]" "I object!" " Shrek?" " [ Gasps ]" "Oh, now what does he want?" "[ Crowd Clamouring ]" "Hi, everyone." "Havin' a good time, are ya?" "I love DuLoc, fiirst ofall." " Very clean." " What are you doing here?" "Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you," "but showing up uninvited to a wedding" "Fiona!" " I need to talk to you." " Oh, now you wanna talk?" "It's a little late for that, so ifyou'll excuse me" " But you can't marry him." " And why not?" "Because" " Because he'sjust marrying you so he can be king." "Outrageous!" "Fiona, don't listen to him." " He's not your true love." " And what do you know about true love?" "Well, I" " Uh-  lmean" " Oh, this isprecious." "[ Chuckling ] The ogre has fallen in love with the princess!" " Oh, goodLord." " [CrowdLaughing]" "An ogre andaprincess!" "[Laughing Continues]" "Shrek, is this true?" "Who cares?" "It'spreposterous!" "Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after."" "Now kiss me!" "Mmmm!" ""Bynight one way, by dayanother. "'" "I wanted to show you before." " [ Whimpers ] - [CrowdGasping]" "Well, uh, that explains a lot." "[Farquaad] Ugh!" "It's disgusting!" "Guards!" "Guards!" "lorderyou toget that out ofmysight now!" "Get them!" " Get them both!" " No, no!" "Thishocus-pocusaltersnothing." "Thismarriage isbinding, andthat makesme king!" " See?" "See?" " No, let go of me!" "Shrek!" " No!" " [Farquaad] Don'tjust standthere, you morons." "Get out of my way!" "Fiona!" "Arrgh!" "I'llmakeyou regret the day we met." "I'llseeyou drawn andquartered!" " You'll beg for death to save you!" " No!" "Shrek!" " And as foryou, my wife," " Fiona!" "I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest ofyour days!" " lam king!" " [ Whistles ]" "I will have order!" "I will have perfection!" "I will have" "Aaah!" " Aah!" " All right." "Nobody move." "I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it." " [Dragon Roars]" " I'm a donkey on the edge!" " [ Belches ] - [DonkeyLaughs]" "Celebrity marriages." "They never last, do they?" "[ Cheering ]" "Go ahead, Shrek." "Uh, Fiona?" "Yes, Shrek?" "I" " I love you." "Really?" "Really, really." "I love you too." "[Fiona's Voice] "Untilyou findtrue love's first kiss..." "[Echoing] andthen take love's true form. "'" "[Echoing Continues] "Take love's true form." "Take love's true form. "'" "Fiona?" "Fiona." "Are you all right?" "Well, yes." "But I don't understand." "I'm supposed to be beautiful." "But you are beautiful." "[ Chuckles ]" "I was hoping this would be a happy ending." "lthought love was onlytrue in fairytales" "[ All ] Oy!" "Meant forsomeone else but not forme" "Love was out toget me" "That's the way itseemed" "Disappointment hauntedallmy dreams" "Andthen lsawherface" "Nowl'm a believer" "Andnot a trace" "Ofdoubt in mymind" " l'm in love" " Ooh-ahh I'm a believer lcouldn 't leave her lfltried" "God bless us, every one." "Come on,y'all!" "Then lsawherface Ha-ha!" "Now I'm a believer Listen!" "Not a trace" "Ofdoubt in mymind" "I'm in love Ooh-ahh" "I'm a believer I couldn't leave her if I tried" " Ooh!" " Uh!" "Then I saw her face" "Now I'm a believer Hey!" "Not a trace Uhh!" "Yeah." "Ofdoubt in mymind One more time!" "I'm in love I'm a believer" "Come on!" "I believe, I believe I believe, I believe" "I believe, I believe I believe, I believe, I believe, hey" "Y'allsing it with me!" "I" "Believe" "I believe People in the back!" " I believe - l'm a believer lbelieve lbelieve lbelieve" "[ Hysterical Laughing ]" "Oh, that's funny." "Oh." "Oh." "ican't breathe." "ican't breathe." "Ibelieve in self-assertion" "Destinyor a slight diversion" "Nowitseems I'vegot myheadon straight I'm a freak an apparition" "Seemsl've made the right decision" "To tryto turn backnow it might be too late" " l want to stayhome today" " Don't wannago out" " lfanyone comes toplay" " Gonnaget thrown out" " l wanna stayhome today" " Don't want no company" "No way" "Yeah, yeah, yeah l wanna be a millionaire someday" "But know what it feels like togive it away" "Watch me march to the beat ofmyown drum" "Andit's offto the moon andthen backagain" "Same oldday Samesituation" "Myhappiness rearsback asifto say" " l wanna stayhome today" " Don't wannago out" " lfanyone comes my way" " Gonnaget thrown out" " l wanna stayhome today" " Don't want no company" "No way" "Yeah, yeah, yeah" "I wanna stayhome stayhome, stayhome" " l wanna stayhome today" " Don't wannago out" " lfanyone comes toplay" " Gonnaget thrown out I wanna stayhome today" "Don't want no company No way" "Yeah, yeah, yeah" "lgetsuch a thrill whenyou lookin my eyes" "Myheartskipsa beat Girl, lfeelso alive" "Please tellme, baby ifallthis is true" "'Cause deep down inside alll wanted wasyou" "Oh-oh-oh Makesme wanna dance" "Oh-oh-oh lt'sa newromance" "Oh-oh-oh llookintoyoureyes" "Oh-oh-oh The bestyears ofourlives" "When we first met lcouldhardlybelieve" "The things that wouldhappen and we couldachieve" "So let'sbe together forallofourtime" "Oh, girl, I'm so thankful thatyou arestillmine" "You always considerme like an ugly duckling" "Andtreat me like a Nostradamus was whylhadtoget myshine on lbreaka littlesomething to keep mymindon" "'Causeyou hadmymindgone Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh" "Turn the lights on, Come on, baby Let'sjust rewindthesong" "'Cause alll want to do is make the restyears the bestyears" "Allnight long" " Oh-oh-oh, makesme wanna dance" " Makesme wanna dance" " Oh-oh-oh, it'sa newromance - lt'sa newromance" " Oh-oh-oh, llookintoyoureyes" " Oh, yeah, yeah" " Lookintoyoureyes" " Oh-oh-oh" " The bestyears ofourlives" " Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" " Oh-oh-oh, makesme wanna dance" " Whoa-oh-oh, dance, yeah" "Oh-oh-oh lt'sa newromance" " Oh-oh-oh, llookintoyoureyes" " Lookintoyoureyes, yeah" "Oh-oh-oh The bestyears ofourlives" "Everything looksbright" "Standing inyourlight" "Everything feels right" "What's left is out ofsight" "What'sagirlto do I'm tellingyou You're on mymind I wanna be withyou" "'Cause whenyou're standin'next to me lt's like wow" "Andallyourkisses seem to set me free lt's like wow" "And when we touch it'ssuch a rush lcan'tget enough lt's like-- lt's like Ooh-ooh" "Hey, what lt's like wow Ooh-ooh, hey" "Hey, yeah lt's like wow" "Everything is looking right now, right now" " lt's like wow" " Andlgot this feeling" "This feeling it'sjust like wow lt'sjust like wow" " You are alll'm thinking of." " Like wow" "Everything feels right Everything feels right" " Like wow" " Everything looksbright" "Allmysensesare right." " Like wow" " Everything feels right" "Baby, baby, baby the wayl'm feelingyou ls like wow [lnstrumental]" "There issomething that lsee ln the way you lookat me" "There'sa smile There'sa truth lnyoureyes" "What an unexpected way" "On this unexpectedday" "Couldit be" "This is where lbelong lt isyou lhave loved" "Allalong" "There'sno more mystery lt is finallyclearto me" "You're the home myheart'ssearchedfor" "So long lt isyou lhave loved" "Allalong" "Whoa, overandover I'm filled with emotion" "Asllook lntoyourperfect face"