"Working in a firehouse 7 blocks from the two tallest buildings in New York you get to know every step, every staircase, every storey." "Couldn't get close to that razor?" "I'm James Hanlon." "I've been a New York City firefighter for nine years at Ladder One downtown." "Last summer, the summer before 9/11, some days we'd go to the Trade Center five times in one shift." "10-4." "We're gonna send you some help." "My point is, we knew those towers as well as anybody." "But nobody  nobody expected September 11th." "Go to the Trade Center." "On that day, guys from my firehouse, my best friends, were amongst the first firefighters into Tower One after the plane hit." "Jumpers." "What they did that day, what everyone did, was remarkable." "Chief!" "And almost as remarkable, it was captured on videotape inside the tower  beginning to end." "The tape was shot by two brothers  Jules and Gedeon Naudet." "Holy shit." "They're documentary filmmakers and old friends of mine." "I don't know." "They say there is always a witness for history." "We were..." "That day, we were chosen to be the witness." "The strange thing is, the tape, the whole story, it kind of happened by accident." "I mean, Jules and Gedeon didn't mean to make a documentary about 9/11." "We wanted to make a documentary about a firefighter." "That's how it started." "One, two, three..." "More to the point, the plan was to follow a rookie." "On the job, we call them probies." "The idea was to show how a kid almost becomes a man in nine months." "Their probationary period." "They have to prove themselves." "Let's go, guys." "Here we go." "We teamed up and by June of 200 1  the three of us were out at the Fire Academy, shooting the training." "Open up." "Floor to ceiling." "After a few weeks of learning the basics, a proby may think he knows what it takes to be a real fireman." "He's in for a rude awakening." "Can I have the lights, please?" "This is a proby, who became engulfed in fire." "Another firefighter, no hood." "Be prepared." "Wear your gear." "Go into a building, you never know what's gonna happen." "The fire is starting to roll over my head." "The force of it knocked me down, knocked my helmet off, and my hands were gone." "I take three steps into the apartment." "The floor gave way and we all went." "I'm trying to get my body off the ground because I'm laying in boiling water." "My right leg was paralysed for six months." "This job is no joke." "When you get out, it's the real world." "Don't be no hot-dog, show-off jerk." "Pay attention to the senior men and do what you're told." "Stay low." "Toward the end of the initial training, we began looking for one out of the 99 new probies to follow." " My name is Paul Denver." " John Carroll." " Antonios Benetatos." "Tony for short." " I was a police officer." "I was a pizza man." "An Irish pizza man in the Bronx." "This is my first job." "It sounds cheesy, but I wanted to be a hero." "This is the thing where you can be." "Immediately, we were like, "This is the kid." "Let's go."" "We got Tony assigned to my firehouse, one of the biggest in the city." "It's Ladder One, plus a whole other company, Engine Seven." "I am so glad I took this job." "Can't beat it." "My wife gets frustrated at me because I'm so happy to come to work." "She gets up, "I've got to go to work."" "Meanwhile, I'm up 5.30 in the morning, I'm like, "Honey, I'm going to work."" "You don't actually wear that shirt?" "They are the greatest, incredible guys." "They're guys who've fought some of the worst fires you can imagine." "Soon they'd face the unthinkable." "The question was, would Tony be ready?" "I'm terrified." "This is what I want to do, but it's... it's scary." "I just hope I can do everything I'm supposed to." "I want to help these guys and be a good fireman." "I'm still worried about how I'll react when there's fire flying over my head." "Here goes." " What's your first name?" " Tony." " You know you come in on Thursday." " I wasn't sure." "I am now, sir." " You need to sit down?" " Yes, sir." "You want to stop calling me "sir"?" "I'm a bit nervous." "What should I do when I come in the morning?" "Anything I should know?" "Be on time?" "I want to make sure I do everything I'm supposed to." "When you're a proby, what you're supposed to do..." " We gotta do the sheets." "...is pretty much everything." "More news and traffic coming up." "It's 6. 22." "Do all the wheels, then we wash the rig down." "Proby rules." "Proby always gets in the sink." "Proby does not go in the TV room, ever." "Proby makes coffee in the morning." "Do you have an iron at home?" "Actually, I do not, sir." "Proby in a lot of trouble, take two." "I think I'm doing decently." "I'm still waiting for a fire, that's all." "Just waiting for a fire and..." "I think that'll make a pretty big difference." "Engine." "Ladder." "Should we grab that thing from the back?" "The thing is, the guys say there's two kinds of probies..." " Getting closer." "...black clouds and white clouds." "When a black cloud comes to the firehouse, that proby brings all the fires in the city with him." "White cloud?" "Just the opposite." "No fires." "Don't get me wrong." "There were fires." "Just not when Tony was on duty." "The kid was one very white cloud." "Ladder." "So what do you say?" "Does it feel like fire today?" "Yeah?" " OK, a suspicious fire." "Any smoke?" " Negative." "False alarm." " Catch a job or not?" " No." "It was just an elevator smoking." " Tony was ready, though, right?" " I was." "I was ready." "Tony was nervous, of course." "Terribly nervous." "And as the days would pass," "Tony, waiting for his first fire, wanted to prove to the other guys, and even more to himself, that he was going to be a great fireman." "Tony!" "The guys weren't going to make it easy on him." "No one was singling Tony out." "We do it to every proby." "We're gonna break your chops." "That's how we do it." " We'll tease you till you start laughing." " No problem." "You gotta love this job." "You will." "But before you can love it, you've got to learn it." "Say you've got your helmet on, your gear." "You gotta get your mask on." " How are you gonna do that?" " I don't know." " What's the best way to hit?" " Uh..." "On one knee." "Help!" "Hit." "Help!" "Help!" "It's hot in here." "Hurry up." "Make a quick sweep." "You gotta go under the bed." "Next time you do this for real, be more cautious." "You did fine." "All I want you to do is learn to relax." " Remain calm." " OK." " You've got to control that surge." "OK?" " OK." "Not bad." "Not bad." "That handwriting's getting better already." " Thank you." " All right." "It's payday today, baby." "OK." "Thank you." "For two weeks, I got $672.25." "You've got to be kidding me." "You couldn't buy a six-pack with that." "It's starting pay." "If I'd wanted to get rich, I would have become a lawyer." "But..." "I wanted something I could live with the rest of my life." " This I can live with." " Lots of the guys feel that way." "You need to get up every day and say you're doing something with your life." "Hit the door." "You do your job." "You risk your life to help people." "And with time, you become part of a unique extended family." "We do a lot of things with our families together." "You got a bunch of guys that just...they want to be here." "Just making some onions and mushrooms for the...for the steaks." "How you doing?" "Tell me one other job where everyone has dinner together every night." "Now, Steve, you gotta be tired now." "Let me help this dude." "I'm the only guy that helps in this firehouse!" "I know it was you, Fredo." "You broke my heart." "It's been four weeks, five weeks." "Something like that." "And I'm still..." "Still no fire." "It'll come." "Probably when I'm asleep and not ready for it, it'll come." " It's 2.30 a.m. You can sleep." " All right." "Trust me." "When the alarm goes off, they'll come and get you." "Engine." "Ladder." "Shut down, Stan." "Shut down." "I got to spray water." "I'm getting closer." "There you are, Tony, look." "Your first fire." "It was a car fire, no less." "My first fire was a garbage can fire on West Broadway and Franklin." "Listen." "Tony was getting closer." "But for the record, that was some flame." "It wasn't a real fire." "Hey, Chief, come see his first fire." "If they're all like that, it's gonna be a fun 20 years." "We got a fire over here." "There's the fire, see?" "Start the line, put out the steaks." "By the end of August, we knew that we had a great cooking show." "And there were no fires." "Waiting for a job was a big concern." "When we'd talk with the senior guys, they always told us, "Be careful what you wish for."" "Yesterday, a 27-year-old firefighter, Staten Island he was stationed, went to a job and he passed away." "This guy left behind a two-year-old son and a baby on the way." "This dude was expecting to go home and see his girlfriend after the tour that day, you know?" "Well, we'll go to the funeral on Saturday and..." "What can you say?" "Detail." "Ten-hut!" "Stand to!" "I look back to last summer and it doesn't just seem like a different time." "It seems like a different world." "At the time, we didn't think there could be anything worse than losing a single firefighter." "I mean, looking back, we were all just...we were kind of innocent, especially Tony." "A bunch of the guys were talking about what parts get them at the funeral." "When the coffin went past, that was that was a little rough." "I don't know." "I..." "I hope it's my last one." "We'll go straight up right now." "There's a lot of things going on." "Shit's hitting the fan, the roof starts to collapse, you gotta get off." "Right." "Basically, you have to be on the top of your game." "You're on the top of your game, this is not a joke, this job." " Right." " There's a lot of things to think about." " Tunnel vision." "Focus." " Right." "That's what's gonna keep you alive and that's what gives you the opportunity to help anybody else." " Right." " Ready to go down?" "Fire or no fire," "Tony had learned a lot that summer." "Sure, he had a ways to go." "But we'd teach him." "Far as we knew, there was plenty of time." "A few days later, Jules cooked a French dinner for the guys." "At least, he tried to." "I cooked leg of lamb, which I had told them was one of my specialties." "I think he cooked one and we really needed at least five." "Where's Frenchy?" "Couple more meals like this, we'll be able to share shirts." "All right, all right." "I got a small piece, so what?" "My mistake." "We stayed up late, just telling jokes and busting chops." "That's it." "That's all that's left." "This is the best part." "Even though the guys made fun of us because we didn't cook enough, we were all having a great time." "We were getting accepted." "Touchdown!" "We joked all night long." "It was a great night." "Little did we know." "It was the night of September 10th." "It's gonna be a beautiful day, sunshine throughout, low humidity." "Really a splendid September day." "Temperature 80 degrees." "Great weather for the primary election." "Tonight, clear and cool..." "It's begun to sound like some sort of a cliché." "But really, September 11th started out like every other day." "Wind out of the north-west at six miles per hour, relative humidity 70%." "66 in Newark, 64 in Bridgeport, 67 in midtown and heading for 80." "Eight o'clock in the morning." "The day guys were just coming in." "I was off that day." "13 guys from my firehouse were on." "Oh, what happened?" "Around 8.30..." "I believe the run came in." "We get the run for the gas leak, an odour of gas in the street." "Just "Lispenard and Church, odour of gas"." "And we responded." "Arrived in minutes." "You don't think anything of it." "You get on the rig, you go." "It's an odour of gas." "Jules was riding with the battalion chief, Joseph Pfeifer, videotaping him." "It was just another call." "I'm riding with the battalion chief." "It was camera practice." "Jules had only been shooting for a few weeks." "Before that, Gedeon was the main cameraman." "Every time the battalion goes, I go." "You know, I just need to practise." "So I shoot." "And I don't stop." "We want to check a gas pocket over here." "The gas main's right here." "Right there." "We checked the area with meters." "It was kind of routine and..." "pretty simple." "It was 8. 46 in the morning." "Then we heard a plane come over, and in Manhattan, you don't hear planes too often, especially loud ones." "Holy shit!" "Holy shit!" "Holy shit!" "Right then, I knew this was gonna be the worst day of my life as a firefighter." "Immediately, I knew that this wasn't an accident." " What am I doing..?" " Go to the Trade Center." "We knew this was gonna be something unusual and tough but would be something we could handle or at least deal with." "Oh, my God." "That looked like a direct attack." "Chief Pfeifer made the first official report." " Battalion One to Manhattan." " OK." "We have a number of floors on fire." "It looked like the plane was aiming towards the building." "Transmit a third alarm." "We'll have the staging area at Vesey and West Street." "It was a two-minute ride but it seemed like forever, because a lot of things were going through your head." "I felt sorry for the people, the people inside the building." "We didn't know what would happen." "We'd never experienced anything like it." "Everyone we was passing was looking up." "It's like the world just stopped." "We are just currently getting a look at the World Trade Center." "Something has happened here." "A plane and an awful lot of smoke from one of the towers." "Whatever has occurred has just occurred within minutes." "We're trying to determine exactly..." " Want me to pull right in now?" " No." "Go..." "We swung around in front of World Trade." "My mind tells me, "Wow."" ""This is bad."" "What do we do?" "What do we do for this?" " I don't know." " We'll get a team up." "We park right in front of the awning of 1 World Trade Center." "Chief Pfeifer puts his gear on." "I remember asking," ""Chief, can I come in with you?" "I want to come in with you."" "He says, "Yeah, come with me." "Never leave my side."" "I go in and I hear screams." "And right to my right, there is two people on fire, burning." "I just didn't want to film them." "It was like no one..." "no one should see this." "Pfeifer was the first chief into the building." "Right away, a guy from the Port Authority told him the damage was somewhere above the 78th floor." "But all you had to do was look around." "It was obvious something had happened right there in the lobby." "You just saw that all the windows were blown out." "It looked like the plane hit the lobby." "Later, they'd figure out that flaming jet fuel had shot down the elevator shaft." "All of this damage was done already." "People was all over the place." "So you knew it was going to be worse when we got upstairs." "Flames are shooting out." "Smoke is pouring out." "I want you to get an engine and team up." "And don't go any higher than 70." " What floor are we talking about?" " 78." "My main concern was we had 20 floors of people above  and we had to figure out a way to get them out." "Chief!" "We haven't found an elevator yet." "As it turned out, we had no usable elevators." " The freight elevator is gone." " Are any elevators working?" "With the elevators out, there was only one way to get up there  walk." "Companies come in." "You see them with a concerned look on their face, and they're sent up." "A firefighter in full gear, carrying more than 60 lbs of hose and equipment, takes about a minute to climb one flight of stairs." "These guys were looking at 80 storeys, just to get there." "Then they'd start working." "I felt the mood that we were gonna put the fire out." "Everyone seemed to be confident." "I know I was." "You basically looked at it and said, "OK, we got 10, 20 storeys of fire."" ""We'll deal with it." "We'll get up there."" "You know, we'll get to it." "Fire crews are screaming into this area from every conceivable direction." "By this time, some of the top chiefs in the department had joined Chief Pfeifer, running the command post, sending guys upstairs." "Every time I looked around, it was new faces  some that I recognise." "I had seen Chief Prunty, great guy, white hair, moustache, the perfect grandfather that you'd like to have." "I remember seeing Lieutenant Fodor, who was working with Nine Engine." "He said hello and then started going up." "Another of the men who went up was Lieutenant Kevin Pfeifer." "He was in charge of Engine 33 and he was the chief'ss brother." "I just remember we both looked at each other, said a few words." "But it was more the look of real concern that this was gonna be tough." "It's going to be a tough job." "It's going to be a long job." "They'll put it out." "That's what they do." "The last time Jules had seen his brother was an hour ago, at the firehouse." "Far as Jules knew, Gedeon had followed Tony into the tower." "When we'd left for the odour of gas in the street, for me he was in the engine." "When we arrived to the Trade Center, he went up immediately with the guys." "So for me, my brother is going up the stairs." "It turns out Gedeon was with Tony." "Engine Seven, Ladder One." "This is Firefighter Benetatos." "But Tony was still at the firehouse and now he'd been ordered to stay there." "Everybody's been recalled." "All available units must come back to the firehouse." "While Tony tried to keep up with the phones..." "This is Firefighter Benetatos." "... Gedeon took his camera and started walking towards the Trade Center." "He was sure his brother was inside and he wanted to get to him." "I remember slowly walking down to the World Trade Center." "What really sticks in my mind is passing by these people, filming them and filming their astonishment." "And the eyes saying, "This is not happening."" "Let's go, let's go." "I remember tilting the camera back and forth between the people and the tower in front of me." "Both towers of the World Trade Center have been hit by aircraft." "Both are in flames, both suffered explosions..." "There is black smoke coming from both of the towers." "It's a horrific scene here." "There's debris flying through the air over the East River into Brooklyn." "Mayday!" "There were two planes." "I saw the second one hit." "It hit the other tower." "We knew that a second plane hit and we had a lot of people trapped." "Stay together and let me know what's going on." "A second plane just hit." "Motherfuckers." "Now the chiefs would have to set up a whole other operation in Tower Two." "I'm gonna send him up." "This was planned." "This was planned." "When the second plane hit, that's when you could see fear." "Both of them are on fire." "You could see it in everybody's eye." "Do not come down here." "Tell her your co-workers are with you." "There were people from all over the world in these streets." "Different colours, different languages." "On these few blocks between the firehouse and the World Trade Centre, the entire world was there." "Two aircraft." "The first one on 1 World Trade Center." "The second one just happened." "And they were all looking at the same thing and talking about the same thing and reacting the same way." "You saw a plane go in?" "A plane went straight into a building, right there, into the side." " That was a direct hit." " There were two planes?" " One in each building?" " Yeah." "We heard boom." "And the whole building..." "What are those people gonna do?" "All the elevators are blocked out." "The staircases must still be..." "Right?" "The stairs were crowded." "People were coming down burnt." "Upstairs in Tower One, the guys from my firehouse were now ten floors up and climbing." "If we did talk, it was to the people coming down, trying to comfort them, telling them, "It's all right," "Get out," "Stay calm."" "I found a woman in the C staircase." "Her arms were all burnt." "She was sitting there, basically in shock." "So I picked her up under her arms." "I put her in with a group of guys and asked them to take her down." "I spoke with one person." "The highest floor that I had heard was a survivor from the 80th floor, so we knew that that was intact." "We knew it was gonna be a long haul." "We had to conserve as much energy as possible, if that was possible." "I'm hot." "I could feel the blood in my neck pumping." "I could feel my whole heart, my whole system is really working." "I knew we had to get up there to help people." "I knew we'd get there but it was just gonna take a while." "Talking about thousands of potential casualties." "They was saying, "God bless you" and "Can't believe y'all going up"" ""and we're coming down."" "People were pretty much saying, "Why y'all going up there?" "Get out."" "Their concern was getting everybody out." "That was the key." "As much people out as possible." "Most people in Tower One came out on the mezzanine above the lobby." "Then they'd get out through another building." "I want to use the lobby of Seven as a triage." "The chiefs didn't want anyone going through the lobby doors." "First, it was because debris was falling outside." "Then..." "Jumpers." "... it was people falling." "You don't see it, but you know where it is." "You know every time you hear that crashing sound that it's a life which is extinguished." "It's not something you could get used to." "And the sound was so loud." "I remember looking up, thinking, how bad is it up there that the better option is to jump?" "Let's go!" "Get off the corners!" "Let's go!" "Like something out of "The Towering Inferno", like a movie." "WINS newstime, 9. 12." "A major disaster in New York City this morning." "Breaking news now, on 10 10 WINS." "We now have some insight as to what's going on..." "The FBI is now investigating reports of a plane hijacking before these crashes at the World Trade Center towers this morning." "Rescue crews are making their way to the scene and all this unfolding in one of the busiest places in the world, downtown Manhattan." "Both towers hit by aircraft." "Two planes involved in two crashes into either tower of the World Trade Center at about ten to nine and five after nine this morning." "Pieces of the building and the planes actually landed blocks away." "Do not walk through this area, please!" "Gedeon was walking with his camera and found a chunk of the plane engine that had crashed through Tower Two." "Don't be kicking stuff." "This is evidence." "Don't kick it." "Just get out of the area." "Just go." "This is evidence." "What's the matter with you?" "That was as close as Gedeon would get to the towers, without a firefighter." "Go!" "Go!" "Move!" "I decided that the smartest thing to do was to slowly walk back to the firehouse and find a way to go to Jules." "We've just heard one of the planes was hijacked after take-off from Boston..." "Two airplanes have crashed into the World Trade Center in an apparent terrorist attack on our country." "We now have reports of a fire at the Pentagon this morning." "I was just saying that officials are calling this an act of terrorism." "It's clearly not an accident..." "Arriving back at the firehouse, and Tony's still alone  and he has no clue of what to do." "The Pentagon..." "The Pentagon's on fucking fire." "War." "This is war." "And just by listening to him freaking out and swearing, and behaving like I've never seen him behaving," "Tony was expressing what we all felt." "At that point, I saw the fireman in him taking over." "I can't believe the fucking Pentagon." "Somebody has balls." "I mean, a few times he was just putting his gear on and about to rush to the door, realising that he was the only one in charge of this empty firehouse  and going back to house watch," "and looking again at those pictures on TV, just to make sure that it was real." "Two enormous explosions at the World Trade Center..." "Tony just wanted to go there." "Stairway C is open from 23 up." "Try to use Stairway C." "In the lobby, the chiefs were trying to run the largest rescue operation any of them had ever seen..." "Any units from T ower One upper floor." "... with next to no information from outside." "Got a phone that's working?" "I think the entire world knew more than we did." "Everybody had seen the attacks." "Everybody had seen the tower burning." "They'd seen the Pentagon." "For us, we didn't have a clue of what was going on outside our lobby." "One elevator's working." "One elevator's working?" "It was like a beehive, that place." "Everybody's working on the phone, everybody's working on the radio." "Everybody's getting information, sending guys up, getting reports  and just trying to get this thing under control." "At one point there was even a rumour a third plane was heading in." "There's another plane coming in." "You've got to remember, at that moment, anything seemed possible." "NYPD, Port Authority police and military." "And I need that done now." "There's another fucking plane." "Get as many people out of the building, let it burn up." "We got to get these people out." "That's gotta be...that's the priority." "On top of everything else, just talking to the guys in the stairwells was tough." "Four-David to Battalion Seven." "The tower's internal communications had been knocked out by the crash." "That left Fire Department radio." "Suddenly hundreds of firefighters have radios." "Command post to Battalion Seven." "It seems to become more and more difficult." "Command post to Battalion Seven." "OEM One to base." "Please provide me with your location." "Is there anyone in this car?" "Is there anyone in this car?" "Then one guy from the WTC was trying frantically to reach anyone on the elevators." "69 car, anyone in this car?" "Is there anyone in this car?" "And going through the list." "There's about 98 elevators in the World Trade Center." "If you can't speak..." "In the middle of all this, suddenly an elevator opens up  and you see people not having a clue of what's going on because they've been stuck in there since the first plane hit." "I was seeing the look on the firefighters." "I don't know." "It was not fear, it was..." ""What's going on?"" "Disbelief." "That made me panic a little bit." "That made me panic." "It was the first time I had seen Father Judge, the chaplain, as he's called." "He was in the lobby with us." "And I could tell that he was praying." "Father Judge would at least make eye contact with you and give you a reassuring look." "That wasn't occurring, almost like he knew that this was not good." "This is a dangerous way to go out." "You just can't believe it." "There is one big hole in the side of this building." "There's little flames now and lots and lots of smoke." "People that I talk to are, like, "We've been hearing reports that it's a plane."" " Back at the firehouse..." " What's up?" "... off-duty guys were starting to show up." " We're just waiting right now." " What's that?" " Tony had one thing on his mind..." " This is bad." "... to go there, and he couldn't." "Two swift alarms." "And the fucking Pentagon is burning now." "What?" "They want everybody to stay here." "They'll deploy us as needed, in case anything else breaks out." " That's when Chief Burns arrived." " I need a cup of coffee." "Larry Burns joined the Fire Department in 1957, retired a battalion chief three years ago." "I couldn't wait." "I had to get down there." "Because they're my firefighters." "It's my building." "It's my city." "Get your gear all together." "Get a flashlight and a bottle of water." "Told the proby, "Get your gear, let's go."" "I remember Tony asking me to bring him some gloves, medical gloves." "Go grab a box of gloves." "By the time I found them and rushed back, they were gone." "The proby and the retired chief were lost in the crowd, headed down to the Trade Center." "I think at that point, the lobby was pretty empty." "There were just a few of us in the lobby." "We were discussing tactics." " This is T ower One?" " T ower One." "Put a big "1" here." "Some outlying companies didn't know what Tower One was and Tower Two." "So we tried to help them out by writing it on the desk to make it obvious." "It was just before ten o'clock, a little over an hour since the first plane hit." "Firefighters from all over the city were inside those towers, hundreds of them." "Battalion One to Battalion Two." "A situation that started bad just gets worse and worse and worse." "The World Trade Center South Tower, which was hit by a plane and racked by an explosion approximately an hour ago, has totally collapsed." "What happened?" "If you're just joining us this morning, you're in for a horrific surprise." "The scene here is one right out of a movie you'd see in Hollywood." "People walking around with cellphones, in tears, holding their heads, looking up at what's left of the World Trade Center." "Out on the street  everyone knew what just happened." " The South Tower was gone." " What the hell is going on?" "They saw it collapse, and ran." "I waited." "Time slowed down and everything became pitch black." " Everybody all right?" " Yeah, I'm OK." "How's the way out of here?" "And then realised, OK, I'm not dead." "Yeah, I'm right here." "So, let's turn on my floodlight on top of my camera." "All right, come on down this way." "Let's get out the way we came in." "Come on back." "Everybody down." "Inside the Trade Center, all Jules and Chief Pfeifer knew  all anyone knew  was that something had gone terribly wrong." " Got a light?" " No, no, come here." "They asked me, "You with the light, help us out."" "So it was pointing my light wherever they needed." "Right here." "I remember seeing Chief Pfeifer." "Command post to T ower One." "All units evacuate the building." "Command post to all units." "He gave it right away, very calm, didn't wait." "For him it was a precaution." "It was, "Something wrong is happening, let's get everybody out."" "Where's that flashlight?" "From the tone of his voice I knew it was no normal thing, it was time to leave." "I remember saying to the guys, "Well, we're on our own now."" "For the first time, I looked in someone else's eyes and saw fear  which you don't see with firemen." "We orderly evacuated." "It was such a long walk. 2 1  17, 16, 15, 14, 13..." "I was going down the stairs." "I remember a fireman resting on the landing, and telling them, "We've heard a mayday." "Get out of the building."" "I don't think..." "I know a lot of them did not take it serious." "You start to feel your anxiety build up." "Take a deep breath, and you say, "It's gonna be all right." "Let's keep going."" ""l got brothers ahead of me, brothers behind me." "We're in this together."" ""And we're gonna do what we have to do."" "Sarge?" " Hey, Pete!" " Come on!" "I was not consciously filming." "I had my camera by my side, pointing the light wherever they needed." "They needed my light to actually help someone and then I realised it was Father Judge." "Hey, guys, we need a hand here." "We saw him lying at the base of the escalator, where we were." "I removed his white collar and I opened up his shirt." "And I remember checking for his pulse and realising at that time  that he was gone." "Fellas, top of the escalator right here." "Off it, right here." " Guys, let's go." " Come on, let's go." "Top of the escalator." "Top of the escalator." "After that, we had to figure out how to get out of where we were." "What happened to command post?" "Because if you go out this way, right where we are now people are still jumping  debris is still falling and it's too dangerous." "You can't go out this way." "One World Trade Center." "We took a hit on that last explosion." "Command post is being evacuated." "People here cannot get out due to debris falling." "Can we get out here?" "Can we get out this way?" "Chief Pfeifer tells the people carrying Father Judge, "Stay here."" "I told them that I'll be back, wait here and I'll see if the bridge is still here." "Chief Pfeifer went to check one of the footbridges" "leading out of the Trade Center." "If it was still standing, it would be their best way out." " What are we gonna do?" " There's no way to get home." "Did you hear what happened with the other tower?" "See the tower collapse?" "The top or the whole thing?" "It looked like the whole thing." "The fbi just said that a third plane is what did it." "Another plane hit it." "We'll head down together." "And I wonder for the first time if Jules is still alive." "I never thought about it before." "Have any firemen been hurt?" "It's a terrible, terrible day." "I'm sure there have been." "I realised that Jules could be dead at that very moment, and I was feeling...so responsible." "I was the one who put him in this situation." "I had to find Jules." "Gedeon hitched a ride with three off-duty firemen, determined to get to the Trade Center the only way they could  in a pick-up truck." "We shouldn't have even come in here." "All floors are leaving." "Everybody out of Tower One." "Battalion One to Division One." "We walk and we walk and we walk..." "Go with the mayday." "There are maydays being given and we start to figure out, "OK."" "It must be worse than we think because of all those maydays and all that dust and that noise..." "Mayday, mayday." "That's when I felt the danger for the first time." "It was all around you, I mean..." "Every single cell of your body is telling you you know, you should not be here." "The scenery was radically different." "This white powder everywhere." "Just a few people here and there." "Get yourself a mask." "We get an extra cylinder and I want to go in." "And this kind of silence." " Ambulances, straight down." " There's no word on casualties but suffice to say, the loss of life presumably profound." "Ambulances straight down." "Everyone's concern is getting away from the World Trade Center and finding out where their families are." "The South Tower just minutes ago collapsed to the ground." "Only one tower is standing now." "I have a direct line of sight to what is left of the World Trade Center." "I can see the flames through the thick smoke." "Battalion One to Chief." "By this time, Chief Pfeifer had found a safe exit." "He tried to radio the men in the lobby." "No answer." "We walked across the bridge back towards the Trade Center  still trying to call on the radio and not getting through." "The guys that we'd left there, they're not there any more." "They had already gone out another way, carrying the body of Father Michael Judge to St Peter's Church." "They laid his body on the altar." "The chief, his aide, Eddie Fahey, and Jules walked outside, underneath the footbridge they'd just crossed and into a scene that none of them could even comprehend." "And there's debris everywhere, there's dust covering the entire place." "And we look and the tower's here." "So, OK, probably it was something else." "The other one we can't see, but it's probably on the other side." "No one tells us." "We have no clue." "Where the Trade Center was was covered with smoke, and it's not unusual for a fire to have a building disappear behind the smoke." "And there was just a sense that this wasn't a good place to stay." "So we walk north." "Just trying to figure out what took place here and then try to gain some control." "So we started to rebuild some sort of structure." "We got everybody out of the lobby." "Chief Pfeifer's priority was to set up a new command post and find his men." "Right now, they were coming down the stairs." "At some point I started to run." "I don't even know if I was touching stairs on my way down." "When I got about to three or two," "I started thinking of my family." "I said, "I've got to get out of here."" "When we got out to the lobby, it was unbelievable." "Nobody was at the command station." "It looked like the end of the world." "I...joked about it." "I said..." "The command post was abandoned." "Nobody was there." "I said, "This is not a good sign."" "I knew there was nothing I could really do." "I was not a fireman." "I had absolutely no medical expertise at all." "I was just a civilian." "But as a cameraman, yeah, there was something I could do, and it was to document what was happening." "So the cameraman took over and just filmed." "Gedeon had made his way as close to the tower as he could." "Strangely enough, the only thing that was my preoccupation was to  to clean my lens." "I don't know if it was to focus on something so I can stay away from the horror of the reality, but it was my obsession, my lens needs to be cleaned." "Jules was with Chief Pfeifer, who was plotting his next move." "The firefighters from my house had reached the lobby and scattered." "We were walking." "We were out of the building." "We felt safe." "There were people jumping out of windows, hitting the ground around you, debris hitting the ground." "I thought we was going to get out the building, the chiefs will meet up and come up with a plan and then we go back in." "That's what I thought it would be like." "Before I walked out, a fireman in the street was yelling at me," ""Wait, wait", throwing up his hands." "I waited and there was a big thud and then another thud." "There was two people who had fallen or jumped from way high up." "Get yourself accounted for at staging!" "Let's move!" "Come on, officers!" "Basically, everybody was standing right in the shadow of Tower One." "It was 10. 28 in the morning." "And then comes that sound again." "And I don't even have time to think." "I just run." "And it's dead silence." "There's nothing." "No radio calls." "No sound." "Nothing." "And I feel the person who was on top of me get up." "Let's get out of here." "I recognise it's Chief Pfeifer's voice." "I realise he jumped on top of me to protect me from all this." "Chief Pfeifer said, "OK, let's go now."" "We get up." "The dust starts to clear because the wind was blowing in the opposite direction." "After that, it was just trying to literally walk around the block and regroup and walk back to the scene and see what we could do." "Less than a block away, Gedeon was still in darkness." "The pounding stopped and you realise now that you just can't breathe any more." "We need help!" "Let's go before the cars blow up!" "This way!" "Let's go before the cars blow up!" "At that point I realised that I was going to die." "We're over here behind the truck." "Keep shouting." "Come to the truck." "We gotta get out of here." "We gotta fucking move, man." "And the only thing I could think about was Jules." "And I remember telling myself that if I would survive  I would..." "I would be a better brother." "Yeah, let's go." "You can make it." "Help him!" "Quickly." " He weighs 400 lbs." "Get over here." " We need to leave here." "He's not standing." "You need to fucking help." "The last person Gedeon had filmed was now lying in the street." "Grab his legs." "This guy must have been standing in the street when everything collapsed and he survived it." "And with the help of an FBI agent, he walked him to safety." "And we can't see a thing." "You have to walk, sir." "You're almost there." "Come on." "Yes." "And he would pass out every second, so it was very difficult to carry him." "Help me!" "Towards us!" "Shit." "Do you have some water or something to drink?" " Thanks." " Open your mouth." "I need water, too." "Thanks." "I had been in this street three times in the last hour." "The first time, it was full of people." "The second time, everybody was running away." "And the third time  getting out of the last collapse, there was just nobody." "And everything was white." "Everything was covered by the dust." "Holy shit." "It was the most surreal scene I have ever seen." "I cannot describe what took place." "It is a scene just not to be believed, the smoke still billowing." "What we do have is a lockdown." "You can't get in, you can't get out." "You can't go up, you can't go down." "I'm still in the middle of the street." "A deli seems to be open on the corner." "Yeah, we're getting O2 now." "In the back!" "A lot of people injured." "Firefighters, bloody nose, things like that." "And then it hits me." "Now where is my brother?" " I was upstairs, I was in the lobby." " Let's go back here." "I start realising that I've probably lost my brother." "So I try to go back to the World Trade Center." "I need to go find my brother." " Where are the guys?" " I don't know." "I was with Chief Pfeifer." "I'm walking and a cop approached me and says, "Who are you with?"" "I'm with the chief of Battalion One." "Battalion One?" "You got I D?" "I have a letter from the commissioner." "Take your letter and your camera and get out of here." "Go." "So I go back up... walk north, not really knowing where I'm going." "Police Department?" "No, I'm making a documentary on the Fire Department." "This ain't fucking Disneyland." "Let's go." "And after a while I said, "There's nothing I can do here."" ""I need to go back to the firehouse." "Maybe they have some news."" ""Maybe he's already back there." At that point, I just..." "I think he's dead." "And it becomes..." "it becomes too overwhelming." "Walking back to the firehouse..." "I'm not trying to think for one second about Jules." "That was too much." "Don't worry, honey." "Take your time." "Everyone's asking me, "What happened?" I said, "I don't know."" ""Hell." "Hell is what happened."" "It just came down." "And it wasn't supposed to come down." "I came back to the firehouse." "Very emotional." "A lot of guys are crying." "I'm crying." " Where the fuck were you?" " I couldn't get back in." "Still we don't know how many guys are missing." "I got thrown into two ambulances." "We bolted, we ran." "I never got so many hugs in my life." "They were glad-to-be-alive hugs." "It was a great thing to know that people were surviving this." " I thought you guys were dead." " I thought I was dead." "We lost so much in that two-hour period." "We felt like we got the hell kicked out of us." "I don't know what to do, man." "Go back down there or what?" "I'm in fucking shock." " Everyone OK?" " You were in the building?" "So many thoughts and emotions." "We got to call our loved ones, tell them we were OK." "We just made it out." "I was never so happy to hear my mother's voice." "Little to little, the guys started to come back  one by one." "Again, the cameraman would just film." "You heard the ground rumble and fucking debris was chasing you." "We were running, hauling ass." "So it was filming them coming back and asking them if they had seen Jules." "And nobody could answer this question." " Hey, brother." " What's up?" "It was extremely frustrating and annoying." "One guy from the firehouse came to me  and I asked him, "Have you seen Jules?"" ""Do you know where he is?" He looked at me and said, "He's behind you."" "I turn over and Jules was there in the firehouse." "I didn't even see him coming in." "And it was like meeting for the first time." "I ask Jules if he's all right." "He tells me yes." "He tells me he's had..." "He was all that time in the lobby." "I never thought I would be so happy to meet my brother, that's for sure." "Cry like babies for about ten minutes." "I tell him I know now what it's like to think you're going to die." "Fuck, man." "We were worried about you." "We didn't know what happened to you guys." "Everybody's accounted for?" " Right here." " Everybody's accounted for?" "You all right?" "I can't believe we all made it out." "How did we make it out of that building?" "30 seconds, another two flights higher." "Why am I alive and so many others are dead?" "We saw they abandoned the command post, we knew we were in trouble." "When we came down, it was much worse than it was when we went up." "Right?" "We went up, it was all set up." "We came down, it was desolate." "It was like, holy shit." "We came down to the lobby, it was like a war zone, nobody there." "We made it outside, about a block?" "We made it at least two blocks and we started running." "Floor by floor, it started popping out." "Like they had detonated, planned to take down a building." " I was watching it and running." " Ran up West Street." " Then this cloud of shit chasing you..." " Where'd you go?" " Couldn't outrun it." " What did you do?" "I jumped under a car." "I was waiting to die." "The scene here is reminiscent of a nuclear winter..." "Right now, everyone is walking around with masks, covered in blood, covered in plaster." "They were near the site." "We were on about the 20th floor." "We hear this fucking rumbling." "I guess that's when Two came down." "It hit One, crushed the Marriott." "We thought we were fucking dead." "I guess the best way to sum this up is, the World Trade Center is no more." "Sit down." "The loss of life, one can only imagine, is enormous." "It's incomprehensible at this point." "They have a fireman's body in T en, in house, on the floor." "They can't identify him." "His shirt is ripped and it's only half a body." "The building started shaking, the guys started running." "When I got to the bottom, there were bodies hitting the ground." "We carried out the chaplain." "He's dead?" "It exploded, it just blew us all in." " The Fire Department chaplain?" " Yeah." "Old guy." "He had no pulse, nothing." "We lucked out." "Two fell first." "Then they told us to get out." "Two fell first?" "I can't figure this out." " When you guys..." " It fell while we were in the building?" "When you guys came out of the building, Two was already gone." " I watched it on the news." "Two fell..." " That's why they were getting us out." "The United States will hunt down and punish those responsible" " for these cowardly acts." " Son of a bitch." "I'm going to want a list of the New York City firefighters and officers that are willing to go back to work." "We probably won't be leaving for at least a half hour." "I don't know why myself and the other guys were picked to survive this." "In a way, I feel that there must be a reason." "We'll leave as soon as we get the order from Division." "What... what am I supposed to do to earn this?" "It's not easy being a survivor." "Put your head back now, gently." "Oh, that day." "That day changed everything." "I think I got fibres in there." "I got fibres in there." "When I came back that day, one firefighter came to me and said," ""Yesterday, you had one brother."" ""Today, you have 50."" "It's good to see you." "It's hard to even describe the emotions in the firehouse that day." "On one hand, you celebrated." "Very frightful day." "Very happy to be here." "Somehow, the guys from our house, they got out." "Everybody come back in the firehouse  except one." "Did you see Tony over there?" "Benetatos?" "Benetatos is the only one..." "We were all accounted for except for Tony." "Everybody was wondering about Tony." "At the same time, we knew hundreds of firefighters, thousands of people, had to have died in those towers." "And every hour that passed, we were more certain that Tony Benetatos was one of them." "Hey, guys, Deputy Chief Hill called." "He doesn't want anybody else there." "They got a million guys standing around doing nothing." "It's a direct order." "I'd come in from home and we were ordered to stay at the firehouse." "Let's go, guys!" "Let's go!" "But the truth is, the guys had to go back, had to start digging for survivors." "That fucking mentality:" "get in there, get the people out, is bred in you, it's programmed into you." "I had to go back  and find the kid." "Shit." " It's gone, man." " Seven came down?" "I got down there just as Seven World Trade finally collapsed." "No sign of Tony anywhere." "It had to be almost six o'clock, nine hours after everything started..." "Benetatos!" "... that Tony just walked in." "I walked in like a daze." "They were like, "Hey, it's Benetatos." "You're all right."" " Anything wrong with your hand?" " No." " You're all right?" " Yeah." "Chill out." "How are you doing?" "You OK?" "I'm all right." " What happened on your end?" " I was in the building." "Were you?" "Is everyone from the house...?" " Everybody is accounted for." " Thank God." "Sit down." "There are some benches." "You want something to drink?" "Something to eat?" "There's some fruit, nice Vitamin C there for you." "You all right?" "So everyone's accounted for?" "Everyone here." " Everyone who was out at the box?" " You were the last one." "You motherfuckers, man." "I was so sure you dudes were dead." "I'm digging through shit and you fuckers are chilling here eating oranges, and I'm roaming around looking for you?" "The last one that went out there came back and we were all OK." "I left here right after the first collapse." "It turns out Tony had been with Larry Burns the whole time, the proby and the retired chief." "They were right there when Tower One came down." "Get behind the building!" "We go into the various surrounding buildings..." "Come on!" "Come to the light." "... trying to calm people down." " Stay here until you hear different." "Directing people to go to the Brooklyn Bridge." "Everybody please evacuate the area immediately." "There's people crying people injured." "One that sticks out in my mind was a guy whose arm had gotten severed here and was holding his right arm in his left as he was running." "He was screaming, "l need a medic, I got a bad bleed."" "You know, and that kind of shocked me." "We kept going." "I checked all the rigs." "There were rigs crushed, paramedic trucks covered with rubble, flipped." "Fires burning everywhere, huge fires." "All day I searched through rubble," "Iifting things up, checking underneath." "It was hard for him, it was very hard for him." "He's only been a firefighter for a couple of months." "But he proved himself that day to all of the guys." "Yeah." "There was so much we didn't know that first day." "Who'd attacked us, how, why." "All we knew was that nothing would ever be the same." "I saw about eight bodies flying through the air, coming from 80 floors up." "And then of course the images of the replay that never stops, of the planes hitting, the towers coming down." "And it was like, "OK." "Enough TV."" "Thankfully the power went out about that time, so it was a relief." "The generator may be in the courtyard and then we'll hook the lights into it." "I got two more sets of lights coming." "The entire downtown Manhattan lost power." "It was really this feeling that we're going to be there for a long time." "A short while ago, Mayor Giuliani held a news conference saying it's important not to lash out in anger because of the attacks..." "At the firehouse that night, we just tried to take it all in." "It's weird." "Look at the date." " 9-11?" " That's the date." "That's just it." "We're all ready for New Year's Eve, all ready for this and that." "We're not ready for September 11th." "Has anybody seen the news?" "What else happened?" "I'm afraid to watch the news." "Both towers are completely levelled." "Three buildings are completely fucking gone." "Four, five, six, seven, they're gone." "They're all gone." "We were on the roof of the Marriott." "There was parts all over the fuckin' place." "Legs, feet." "It was nasty." " You all right?" " Yeah, I'm all right." "One of the things that sticks with me more than everything I saw was I sat down next to Ted." "He looked real bad." "He said, "Tony, man, it was raining bodies."" "Just the way he said it, man, it just..." "The man had been through hell." "Good evening." "Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts." "It's a very depressed, dismal, miserable mood." "Hundreds of your firemen, thousands of civilians are gone." "As quickly as you blow out a match, flip a switch, they're gone." "Those buildings came down." "Gone." "I don't see them." "It's hard to believe they're not there." "They're not there." " That was my first reaction." " They're gone." " There is no more World Trade Center." " No." "It did happen, right?" "It's not something that I'm going to close my eyes and open them again and I'm going to see the tower, right?" "It's not there." "And the only thing you have, really, the only thing that kept it all together was us as a group, as a body, as a firehouse." "Around midnight, we sent Tony up to lower the flag to half mast  again." "There's gonna be a lot of pain to deal with in the future." "I have a pretty good friend who was in my academy class, in my squad, who is among the missing." "A lot of guys, we all lost friends and family." "I don't want to ever have to put that thing at half mast again." "That's it." "Until the recall ends, it's 24 on, 24 off, 24 on, 24 off." "We heard we'd start digging in the morning." "Some of the guys with wives and kids went home, just for a few hours." "They knew it might be days before they'd see their families again." "My son was sleeping." "I picked him up and put him in my bed." "I wanted him with me." "Normally I would take him out of my bed, but this night was the opposite." "He didn't mind." "He had a big smile." "It was wonderful to see that smile." "Probably the best entrance I ever made to a place." "And the kids came out and we just kind of all cried in one big hug and..." "It was a..." "We just...we just cried." "We need more guys out here." "Came back to the firehouse the next day." "I couldn't wait to get back." "I figured we're gonna have plenty of people that are trapped, for sure." "We're gonna get them out." "We have to." "We always do." "I don't know if anyone's really pulled themselves together." "Focus on what you're doing." "In a couple of weeks, you'll take in what happened to our guys." "But today, focus on what you're doing." "Go in teams of two." "If one guy falls through a hole, the other guy will know." "We're all alive." "That's more than we could have possibly hoped for." "So our job now is to go and do whatever needs to be done, and do as much and as hard as we can for as long as they'll let us." "Some of the guys took the bus to what the media was calling "Ground Zero"." "Extra surgical gloves." "Put 'em in your pockets." "Some firemen called it "the pile"." "For us, it was still the Trade Center, even if it was gone." "Guys, if you hear three horns, it means something might be coming down." "Keep your eyes open down there." "And I just realised something that I always wanted to deny:" "is how evil evil can be." "I need five firefighters from 1 9 and 1 2." "We went down and formed companies: five men and an officer." "We went to work right away, trying to look for survivors." "Get some buckets." "Guys were digging fast, passing those buckets quick." "Digging frantically." " Bucket!" " Watch your back, guys." "We'd be digging and all of a sudden everybody would say, "Quiet"." "Quiet!" "And the whole place would get quiet and people would look." "Hello?" "And slowly they would go back to work and start again." "And that's how things went down there." "I remember the first time I went there was like you know, gateway to hell." "You'd never know unless you were there." "But the pile itself seemed to have a life of its own." "It moved and shifted underneath us." "Every step you took, you could fall 30 or 40 feet into a void." "It spewed fire when we dug into it  and had buried thousands of people, beyond our reach." "All we saw was steel and I didn't know how we were gonna get below that." "Like, how are we gonna find anybody in this?" "You're on this pile, digging with a shovel, you're digging with a pickaxe or something like that." "Your attempts seem futile." "And...you know, it's like a drop in a bucket." "You believed in your heart there was somebody down there." "And if you could have found one person, that was well worth it." "More water!" "Whatever risk you were putting yourself at, just to find anybody, that's what drives the guys." "We'd clear what we could by hand  and the iron workers would come in, cut the steel beams and lift them out." "Then we'd just start digging again." "You have two 110-storey office buildings." "You don't find a desk." "You don't find a chair." "You don't find a telephone, a computer..." "The biggest piece of a telephone I found was half of the keypad and it was about this big." "The building collapsed to dust." "How are we supposed to find anybody?" "There's nothing left of the building." "You find a little spot." "And you just keep going and digging and digging, trying to find something." "You find a foot." "Then they say the building's gonna collapse and you run." "Go, go, go!" "And then we would go back and mostly just dug." "We found a body." "It was a girl." "She was dead." "She was definitely dead." "All her clothes had been burned off her." "She looked pregnant." "Some people thought she was bloated." "But I don't think so." "She was encased in rubble." "We had her about halfway uncovered." "We had the body bag ready and then they told us to run." "And we ran." "So I never got to see if they got her out." "It would have felt good saying, "At least I got one person out."" ""One family will be able to have a decent funeral."" " Quiet!" " Quiet!" "Our first shift was 24 hours, and in all that time, there was one person pulled out alive." "One." "It was beyond discouraging." "It was even hard to understand." "It was weird in a way, walking back to the firehouse." " People were cheering us." " USA!" "But we sure didn't feel like heroes." "Every day, total strangers were showing up with supplies." "Somebody said you could use towels." "Thank you." "They open up the doors and deliveries were coming in by the ton." " Kitchen?" " Just dump 'em on the floor." "You can't eat all those cookies." "It's early in the operation, but I want to thank everyone for all their hard work." "How we're here, only God knows." "But again, guys, thank you so much." "I really..." "You have no idea how much love I have for you guys." "Check the lockers, bro." "Take whatever." "There's something special, when guys are relentless just going back and forth, guys with nails in their hand, taping it up, gashes, blood everywhere, taping it up and saying, "Let's go back, let's see what we can do"" ""to make this situation a little better."" "There's got to be people down there still alive." "There has to be." "Listen." "We tried to keep hope." "And we'd look everywhere." "We even crawled down into the stores in the subway tunnels underneath the site." "But as days turned into weeks, we began to accept  there just wasn't anybody to find." "But we never stopped looking." "Hey, Chief." "We got another body over here." "Firemen deal with ugly things every day." "It's part of the job." "But this was worse." "You have that body bag?" "Day after day, it pushed guys to their limit  maybe past it." "A lot of guys don't know if they're gonna do the job any more." "I know it's either this or the army now." "And I like saving lives, I don't like taking them." "But after what I saw, if my country decides to send me to go kill  I'll do it now." "Every night around dinnertime, the Fire Department would put out a list of firefighters confirmed dead and every night, that list got longer." "It is with regret that the department announces the deaths of the following members." "Battalion Chief John P Williamson." "Firefighter William Henry." "Firefighter Eric T Allen." "Firefighter Manuel Mojica." "Firefighter Lawrence J Virgilio." "Firefighter Timothy Haskell." "Firefighter Thomas T Hannafin." "Firefighter John A Santore." "We lost so many people that everybody has lost dear friends, and not just one or two, but dozens." "Most days, there was a memorial service for some guy you knew." "Some days two or three, some days four." "One of those services was for Kevin Pfeifer, the chief's brother." "He was last seen in the stairs of Tower One, directing guys to the fastest way out of the building." "I would say that Chief Pfeifer's brother saved my life saved a lot of lives." "And I remember walking down West Street and just remembering saying how much my brother and I used to love being downtown." "And and doing this job." "And..." "And and how now I didn't love it any more." "Some of the guys hiked up the stairs in a building near the site but not to put out a fire or rescue civilians." "One, two, three..." "They made the climb to lift our spirits." "It's like our disaster to handle." "Every generation's gone through it." "Some struggle more than others." "But we just have to try to take it for what it's worth and go on." "And you see, little by little, life starting to go on." "A few weeks passed and we got new rigs  well, used rigs, to replace Engine Seven and Ladder One." "They're still buried in there somewhere, under the pile." "Eventually, we started going on runs again..." "Feels good." "...playing pranks again, and trying our best to love the job again." "But things will never be the way they were." "Every now and then still I wonder, is it really true?" "I know it happened, but..." "I don't know." "How do you deal with something like this?" "It's the 11th every day for me when I wake up." "Do you want the new tape?" "As for Jules and Gedeon, it's strange how things work out." "In the beginning, they said, "Let's make a documentary"" ""about a boy becoming a man"" ""during his nine-month probationary period."" "It turns out Tony became a man in about nine hours, trying to help out on 9/11." "You know how you can tell?" "He's not bragging about it." "It said to fill." "We were the only ones on the ticket, but it said to fill 1 0.75." "Do I feel like it's given me more of a sense of self-worth?" "Yes." "Has it made me a man?" "What's a man?" "I'll still watch cartoons and do my stupid things." "I'm just a person who tries to do good, like everyone in the Fire Department." "For the Fire Department, now it's about rebuilding  somehow." "At our firehouse, we've already got new probies to break in." "You get one chance to make a first impression." "Two guys fresh out of the academy." "It's strange that they'll never know what it was like to be a New York City fireman before September 11." "And they'll never really understand what we lost that day." "All we can do is tell them the stories and show them the tape."