"IRV:" "Previously on Everwood:" "I noticed you're not with your family today." "Did they kick you out for some--?" "Dad." "I am interested." "It's starting to snow." "I saw Madison tonight." "I'm gonna keep seeing her and there's nothing you can do to stop me." "I'm not gonna try." "I know Ephram thinks he's a man and I know you see him that way too." "But his heart is wide open." "Be careful with it." "I hate everything about my entire life." "So you can ground me and you can do what you want because honestly I wish I was dead." "Let's put out an aII-points on Amy Abbott, 1 0-36 AMBER." "What's that mean?" "Missing child." "This is the most recent one I couId find." "Okay." "AII right, sheriff, Iet's crop her out." "Get her photo with a bullet." "ROGER:" "You got it." "I know you're worried, but we're gonna do everything we can to find her." "The first 24 hours are critical, so we need to work." "I'm gonna give you each jobs, okay?" "I need a full written description." "What she was wearing, hair, eyes, uh, any scars or birthmarks." "Everything that you can think of." "Are you the brother?" "Yeah." "Make a list." "Friends, family, teachers." "Everyone she knows or might have contact with." "Give me names, addresses, phone numbers, anything you can think of." "Does she have a computer?" "Uh, yeah, in her bedroom." "Mom?" "You're the point person for the telephone." "I need you ready in case she calls." "Agent Price has an ID caller box, and he's gonna tell you everything." "AII right?" "AII right, Iet's get to work, folks." "IRV:" "When the pressure's on it's often the times of crisis that bring a family together." "Excuse me, I'm her aunt." "Is there something that I couId be doing?" "Oh, you're the doctor?" "Mm-hm." "Good, good." "We need her records." "medical, dental, especially x-rays." "We're gonna get DNA, but the lab is in Denver so we need those records soon." "Can you do that?" "Uh, I can try." "Mother." "What's going on?" "Amy's gone." "She disappeared last night." "Oh, no." "It's a nightmare." "I know." "No, I mean this is all a big mistake." "What are you talking about?" "Amy's at my house, four-O and squared away, having pancakes with Harper." "well, where did you find her?" "When?" "She spent the night." "IRV:" "Pressure also has a way of exposing our fault lines bringing to the surface things that might better have stayed buried deep below." "Once they're out, though, they're awful hard to put back." "AGENT:" "AII units, Code 4." "Subject has been located." "MADISON:" "Stop it." "I thought we were watching a movie." "Oh, it's on, isn't it?" "In your world, "Wanna come over and watch a movie?" means" ""Do you wanna come over and make out?"" "And for the record, it's not just my world." "It's like the Iaw of the universe." "MAN [ON TV] :" "Up, up and away." "Oh, man, like" "We're not allowed to in the house." "What, do I Iook like a man who follows rules?" "I laugh in the face of danger" "[DOOR OPENS]" "We're just watching a movie." "I'm sorry." "How many times can I apologize?" "A thousand million billion and I won't care, you promised." "AND Y:" "It was an accident." "I didn't-- DELIA:" "It wasn't an accident." "You kissed her on the lips for like 1 0 seconds." "What's going on?" "He kissed Linda." "On purpose." "AND Y:" "Sweetie, listen to me." "I swear I didn't mean for it to happen." "It just" "You promised and you did it anyway, which makes you a liar." "DeIia." "I'II talk to her." "So I take it you kissed Linda?" "Oh, that's funny." "What'd she mean, you promised?" "Does it really matter?" "Okay, look, turns out you were right after all." "della was upset about me and Linda." "But that was, Iike, three months ago." "You catch on quick." "So I talked to her and I explained to her that I might be interested in another woman someday." "RomanticaIIy." "And she said that was fine..." "...as long as it wasn't Linda." "Wait, Iet me get this straight." "The night you went to punish della for dropping the S-bomb you ended up promising her that you wouldn't date Linda Abbott?" "She's very persuasive." "And, you know, what are you gonna do?" "Are you gonna date her, or--?" "I don't know." "I want to, but della's so upset." "I wonder why." "I took her to breakfast, she didn't talk for a whole hour." "Then she comes in here and she just unIoads on me." "She's 1 0." "Buy her a Barbie doll, she'II forget." "I am not going to bribe your sister." "So, what are you gonna do?" "I may not have to do anything." "After della's tantrum at the tree Iot this morning I doubt Linda Abbott wants anything to do with me." "well, great." "problem solved." "This is unbelievable." "She showed up at my door." "What was I supposed to do?" "Oh, how about a phone call?" "That thought ever enter your mind?" "It was late." "I figured you were already asleep." "If I had called, you would've just rushed over and things would've gotten worse." "That is not a decision you get to make." "She was scared, Junior." "She didn't want to see you." "EDNA:" "Everybody was so angry." "I thought we could all use a cooIing-off period." "I knew she was safe." "My plan was to get over here first thing and try to help work it out." "How could I know--?" "HARRY:" "How could you not know?" "What person does this?" "Do you realize that we thought our daughter might be dead?" "And then to find out that you took her." "I didn't take her." "She came to me." "I didn't ask to get involved." "Look I'm sorry." "What more can I say?" "I never thought this would happen." "Of course not." "You never think of anyone or anything but yourself." "She wants to talk to you both." "She asked me to tell you that." "If you could come over later, we can all work this thing out." "Work it out?" "I don't believe this." "Rose." "ROSE:" "Don't." "I'm not gonna sit here and be insulted." "Not in my own home." "You didn't wanna get involved, Mother." "well, guess what, you are now." "Where are you in your cycle, helen?" "Day 1 2." "I've been doing the Lupron shots at home but blood tests and the ultrasounds are killing me." "clinic's in boulder." "They said if I couId find someone locally the lab will take the results over the phone." "I think we should be able to save you a few trips." "Are you, uh--?" "I'm using my husband's sperm." "Oh, great." "Because you know that the in vitro process can be very stressful." "It'd be great to have him for support." "actually, my husband's dead." "Oh." "Three years ago, he got testicular cancer." "He was only 35, so it wasn't exactly on our radar." "The doctors recommended that we save some sperm before he started chemo, just in case." "Six months later we're at SIoan-Kettering, nothing's working." "The tumors are everywhere." "Ted calls me in and says no matter what happens he wants me to have the baby." "He made me promise." "I'm sorry." "I've been wanting to do it for a Iong time." "Just been waiting to get to the right place." "emotionally." "financially." "I think I'm finally ready to keep up my end of the bargain." "I know that this makes some people feel uncomfortable." "Oh, no, no." "Not at all." "It's just that I've been there." "I'm a widower myself with two kids." "really?" "How old?" "Sixteen and 1 0." "It's a Iot of work, especially if you're alone, but, uh, it's worth it." "I'm just happy I can help you." "Edna." "Again with the yelling." "could you set up the ultrasound for Mrs. McGinn?" "We are gonna measure some follicles." "I'm having a baby with my dead husband's frozen sperm." "Right." "We'II probably have to check the Medicare code on that one." "AMY:" "I know I've made a Iot of mistakes, and for that, I'm sorry." "The thing is, I'm doing better." "It may not look like it, but I am." "I've been sleeping more." "I've been catching up in school." "I finally feel like I'm waking up and I thought about it, and it all started when I met Tommy." "That's ridiculous." "Just hear me out, please." "He's not a bad person." "I know what you heard but if you would take time to get to know him I think that you would realize that none of it's true." "But the way you treated him, Dad, it was humiliating." "If you were that worried, you could have talked to me but to bring it up in front of the famiIy" "I won't apologize for wanting to know a boy that you choose to bring into my home." "[SIGHS]" "Okay, I don't want it to be like this." "I don't wanna fight all the time." "Neither do we." "I said a Iot of things I shouldn't have and I wish I couId take them back, but I can't." "So all I can do now is hope that you can forgive me." "well." "The entire episode was a disaster." "We all wish that it hadn't happened." "I can see where perhaps I may have overreacted." "Now that we've had time" "Do you know what you've done?" "Rose-- ROSE:" "I don't think she does." "Amy, we had FBI agents at our house." "We actually had to consider the possibility that you took your own life." "Any idea what that is like for a parent?" "Mom, I said I was sorry." "No, you didn't." "Not for lying to us when you said you were at Laynie's." "Not for stealing from your aunt." "I talked to her about that." "And you have the gall to sit there and say we embarrassed you?" "Now, how do you think we felt telling Grandma and Pop Pop you couldn't say goodbye because you ran off in the middle of the night?" "You are the embarrassment, Amy." "Your attitude, your behavior." "And now you summon us over here like we've been granted some audience with the pope because you deign to talk to us?" "This is way past seIf-induIgence." "See?" "I can't talk to them." "ROSE:" "You want to be treated like an adult then act like one." "The important thing now is that she comes home." "No." "What's important is that she take responsibility for her actions." "I think that's what she's trying to do." "Don't you dare talk to me." "For 25 years I've sat back and watched you treat HaroId with disrespect." "I never said anything, but this is different." "This is our daughter." "You want to come home, fine." "The rules are the same." "No car, no telephone, no dating that boy." "This is so unfair." "ROSE:" "Too bad." "I am tired of giving you the benefit of every doubt." "You lost the right a Iong time ago." "I'm not a kid anymore." "I can make my own decisions." "That's right." "You heard what I said, now you can decide." "Come home and live by our rules, or stay here, it's your choice." "Come on, harold." "I said we're leaving." "[BACK DOOR OPENS]" "[DOOR CLOSES]" "So, what do you think sounds better, karate or papier-mache jewelry making?" "Tough call." "They both kind of make me wanna kill myself." "DeIia." "Food's here." "What happened to the pizza?" "I decided I was in the mood for something more fried." "Executive decision." "Aren't you old for seIf-improvement classes?" "It's not for me." "I'm trying to find something della and I can do." "Spend some quality time." "Do some bonding." "You never did any of that with me." "Okay." "How about you and I join the Everwood Men's Chorus?" "I don't need to bond that bad." "Oh." "Here we go." ""close Encounters of the Camping Kind." "Dads and daughters get away to get connected." "Spend a fun-fiIIed night in the woods at historic Fiery Gizzard State Park." "Tents, food and equipment: $ 1 00." "Memories and smiles:" "No extra charge."" "That's sounds perfect." "Except that you hate camping." "I don't hate camping." "I'm just not very good at it." "Who's going camping?" "We are, sweetie." "This weekend." "What do you say?" "No." "It will be fun." "We'II roast marshmallows, tell ghost stories." "You're forgetting something." "What's that?" "I don't like you." "That's too bad, kiddo." "Because we leave Friday at 5." "EDNA:" "Hey." "Woman, you trying to give me another heart attack?" "If you're looking for Amy, she's in the can." "No idea what she's been doing for the past haIf-hour but my guess is it involves makeup." "We have to talk." "Now, I understand you're in a bind here and I know Amy's family and we have obligations but I already had a teenage daughter." "So did I." "But I was actually involved in raising mine and it's hard work." "Too hard for a man my age." "It won't be forever, Harper." "It's just a slight wrinkle in my plan." "You messed up." "You should've called them but you didn't." "I'm not blaming you." "I'm just saying we have a situation here." "And instead of spending your time trying to justify the mistake you made we should be figuring out how we're gonna fix this." "well." "I was thinking of calling Father Ivers over at the church." "He baptized Junior and confirmed him, and married him and Rose." "He's the only one I can think of they might listen to other than God himself." "AII right, Iet's get him on the horn." "I still think we should wait." "You know, Amy's a smart girl." "She'II do the right thing." "[BATHROOM DOOR OPENS]" "meanwhile, it might be good to get her out of the bunker." "Oh." "Where are you going?" "Um, I've got a school thing." "It's okay, I always go." "It's just I was supposed to have a ride, and Laynie's car broke down, so...." "My keys are in my purse." "It's hanging on the coat rack." "Thanks, Grandma." "Thank you." "See you later." "Bye, Irv." "Good night, sweetheart." "See you later." "One scratch and I'II have your hide." "Bye." "[LINE RINGS]" "Yes, the number for Christ the King Church on GIenwick." "Morning, Edna." "Morning." "well, you look exhausted." "I'm fine." "Press on." "There's somebody in my office." "No wonder you brain surgeons get the big bucks." "well, who is it?" "I didn't have anyone scheduled." "In vitro lady from yesterday." "It's her husband." "[WHISPERS] He's supposed to be dead." "[WHISPERS] Yeah." "I thought it was weird too." "She told me her husband was dead." "He is." "Her first husband." "I probated his estate." "Okay." "That's how I met helen." "We fell in love, and last year we got married." "little piece of information she failed to mention." "Yeah." "I'm not surprised." "Look, I'm sorry to barge in on you Iike this but she told me she came to see you and I just" "I have a few questions." "Join the club." "What are the chances of her actually having a baby with this procedure?" "well, it's difficult to say." "First, there's the egg retrieval, then the embryo transfer." "A Iot of it depends on the motility of the sperm." "But I'm sure they explained all this to you at the clinic." "You did know that she was doing this, right?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I knew." "She idolized Ted." "They were high school sweethearts and all." "You know, I understood that." "When I proposed to her, she told me about her promise to him." "And then she made me promise that when the time came I'd let her have the baby." "I mean, what was I gonna say, you know?" "I figured eventually she'd forget about it but now Ted's like this ghost who's just around all the time." "Have you told her how you feel?" "How I feel is powerless." "EmascuIated, if you really wanna know." "I mean, she'd rather have a baby with her dead husband than with me." "I wanna have kids too." "It's not Iike I'm incapable." "well, so tell her, then." "Yeah." "I was hoping you would." "Oh, no, no." "I don't think so." "Isn't she coming in later for some blood work?" "Don't you have to get back for fifth period?" "No, it's just english." "Who cares?" "You getting all bad girl on me?" "After this I'm gonna go get a tattoo or maybe do a little shoplifting, stop by the crack house." "No, I'm just kidding." "I've had more freedom since I've been with my grandmother." "Which is all I wanted in the first place." "Be careful what you wish for." "Having no structure in your life is" "It's not what it's cracked up to be." "Trust me." "You okay?" "Why are you with me, Amy?" "What do you mean?" "TOMMY:" "I mean, your parents were right." "I'm not exactly the greatest influence, or the greatest person for that matter." "My parents don't know you." "Maybe we should keep it that way." "No, that's the point." "They didn't even make an effort." "That's why" "That's why you moved out?" "No." "No." "Not entirely." "TOMMY:" "Look, um...." "If you don't wanna go home, that's fine." "I can totally respect that." "That's your decision but just don't make this about me." "I don't wanna be the poster boy for pissing off Mom and Dad, you know?" "That's what this is about." "That and the free SkittIes." "I really don't need a lecture." "I'm not lecturing." "I'm saying that maybe there's a reason you didn't tell me you were married." "You didn't ask." "How about that?" "You think neil goes to the urologist, says:" ""By the way, doctor, you should know I have a wife"?" "It's not a big deal." "Look, IVF has helped a Iot of people, and I'm not knocking it." "But truthfully and thankfully, you don't need it." "You have a husband who wants to have a child with you." "And we will." "Put yourself in his shoes." "We have all said things that we would Iike to take back." "Excuse me, there was no moment." "We talked about this more than once and he agreed." "Because he knows how important it is to you." "Look, I'm not saying it's wrong for you wanting to keep your promise but no one would blame you for changing your mind." "I have worked too hard and invested too much to stop now." "Now, I'm sorry neil's having mixed feelings, but a promise is a promise." "I'm having this baby." "And I don't appreciate the two of you ganging up on me and Ted like this." "So how is Amy?" "well, I don't know." "You didn't see her at school today?" "Yeah." "well, and...?" "She looked the same." "What do you want me to say?" "[WATER RUNNING]" "What are you doing?" "To get our daughter and bring her home." "No, you're not." "This has gone on long enough." "I said, no." "This has got to be her decision." "well, she is not capable of making a good decision, not in her present state." "Look at her history." "The only history of bad decisions in this family has been yours." "Excuse me?" "When Amy misbehaved at school, you bought her a car." "When she stayed out doing God-knows-what with that boy you didn't tell me about it." "You're the one who wanted to put her on medication." "She can answer yes for anti-depressants on every medical history she fills out." "How dare you?" "How dare you pretend you gave even one minute of consideration to my opinion on that?" "You've never shown any respect for my authority as a parent." "I can't even talk to you Iike this." "Yes, you will." "You will stand there and you will listen to me, for once." "I'm sick of it, harold." "The way she controls this family." "You have always put Amy first." "When she's here, it's nothing but yelling and screaming, crisis and drama." "And now she's gone, you still make everything about her." "There are other people in this family." "Your son." "Me." "Do you even think about us anymore?" "Do you care about how we feel?" "well, of course I do." "Right now, Amy needs special attention." "What Amy needs is discipline, and you can't seem to provide that." "Oh, oh, and you can?" "please." "I tolerated your little power play at Mother's but do you seriously think Amy believed it or that any of us did?" "You patronizing bastard." "You go to your office, you spend all day with your patients." "Thursdays it's the lodge, Saturdays it's golf then you come home and think you've got the answers?" "well, guess what." "I'm the one who gets to deal with the consequences every time you make one of your proclamations." "I'm the one who supports you and defends you." "And you never give anything back." "What do you want?" "You want me to encourage your outrageous concept of punishment?" "The moment things get hard I'm supposed to kick my own child out of our home..." "...just because you say so?" "That's right." "Are you seriously willing to lose our daughter over some teenage crush?" "Are you seriously willing to lose our marriage?" "What?" "Let me tell you something, harold." "This marriage will not survive if you keep undercutting me." "Our daughter is tearing this family apart and you are so blind you can't see it." "I swear to God, harold, I will not go on living like this." "I will not." "Rose." "[CLEARS THRO AT]" "MAN [O VER MEGAPHONE] :" "I see cell phones." "This is daughter time, not daddy time." "I told you we should've brought backpacks." "well, I didn't know we were going to the himalayas." "I wanna go home." "Come on, this is gonna be fun." "It'II be a beautiful night camping under the stars, spending time with my number-one girl." "Why?" "Is Linda coming with us?" "Come on." "You know I meant you." "Whatever." "Let's go, folks." "Gotta make camp by sunset." "Hut, hut." "Are we excited?" "only if this bus takes me home." "What's this?" "I didn't order that." "You know what?" "I'm not hungry yet." "Why don't we watch a movie?" "No, I said Moo Shu Chicken." "This is pork." "I don't eat pork." "I'm gonna call them." "Ephram, do we have to do this now?" "By the time I call them and they switch it the rest of the food will be cold." "That's great." "That just sucks." "Okay, what's bugging you?" "And don't tell me it's the Moo Shu because no amount of unwanted pork should distract you from a make-out session." "When there's no possibility of us getting caught." "I wouldn't count on that." "I doubt my dad will be able to handle my sister and nature for an entire night." "He'II be back." "Why would you say that?" "Because I know my dad, and the man has zero communication skills." "Now, he's better with della, but stiII" "Did he talk to you at all about Linda?" "What about Linda?" "His dating her?" "He planned this whole trip with della, I just assumed" "well, della's younger." "She doesn't quite get it yet." "And you do?" "Don't start." "please." "This is about your dad dating somebody for the first time since your mom died." "You're not supposed to just get it." "You're supposed to talk about it." "Nothing to talk about." "[TV CLICKS ON]" "[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY]" "You know, I hated every guy my mom brought home after her divorce." "My dad's not divorced." "I know, I'm sorry." "That came out wrong." "It's no big deal." "AII right, I didn't think he'd wanna start dating so soon." "He does, it's weird." "I'm over it." "So your dad talks about dating for the first time in your entire life doesn't ask you how you feel about it and you've emotionally processed this in less than 30 seconds." "That's impressive." "What do you want me to do?" "I'm not gonna tell him how to live his life, you know." "If he thinks he's ready, then I should be too." "Yeah, but here's the thing." "You know, you can not be okay with it and still support his decision." "And if you feel like you can talk to him about it, then you should." "But if you can't then talk to me." "Because chances are if you're feeling gloomy..." "[MADISON CLEARS THRO AT] ...I can do stuff to cheer you up." "This is good." "Just this." "Straighten and connect shock-corded joints on fIy-poIe." "well, which one is the fIy-poIe?" "Did you take this long when you went with Ephram?" "No, but the tent wasn't as big." "They actually make them smaller?" "Do you guys need some help?" "If I can clip an intracranial aneurysm, I ought to be able to handle this." "You sure?" "You already missed the opening session." "We're fine, Simon." "Go." "Bond." "Be merry." "Okay, but don't be too long." "The eggs in a cup go fast." "Did he just say eggs in a cup?" "I hate nature." "You're not supposed to do that." "What are they gonna do, put me in camping jail?" "that we may find healing and grace through the power of your name." "Amen." "Amen." "Before we start let me thank Edna for calling me and for having us all into her home." "I'm glad that you're all making God a part of the equation tonight." "I used to tell hai Sr. that being a steward was a Iot more than just having your butt in a pew on Sunday." "well, Iet's remember the ground rules." "This is a safe environment." "Everybody gets a chance to speak." "Everyone gets a chance to respond." "Rose, why don't we start with you?" "well, we love our daughter, Father." "Oh, not to me." "You know that." "But just because we love you, it doesn't mean we have to like what you're doing." "You violated our trust." "You have to earn that back." "I know you don't like it, but it's punishment." "It's not supposed to be fun." "Okay." "Amy, do you want to respond?" "You and Dad say that you love me, but you don't." "Not really." "You love who I used to be." "You love who you want me to be." "It's totally conditional and it's unfair." "If you're gonna talk to us that way" "Rose, please." "Let her finish." "This all started over Tommy, but he's not the issue." "He's not the reason this is happening." "He even said that he didn't wanna create problems within my family." "AII of the stupid stuff I did I deserve to be punished for, but not for him." "Is that all?" "I'm willing to give up the car." "And the phone." "I figure that should be enough since I've already apologized." "You are such a baby." "Son, please." "Do we have to sit here and listen to this?" "IVERS:" "You'II get your turn." "harold, how about you?" "I've always treated you as an adult, Amy." "And maybe I shouldn't have, because, well, you're not." "I see that now." "I've jeopardized my marriage in an effort to maintain your good graces and failed your mother in the process." "When you say that we can't tell you how to live your life, you're just simply wrong." "We're your parents." "That's our job." "If you wanna live under our roof again we're ready to have you." "You know the terms." "Your mother reiterated them quite clearly for you the other day." "And I support her." "Amy, don't you wanna say something?" "Say yes." "You can get up right now and come home with us." "unbelievable." "IVERS:" "Maybe we should take a break." "You know, that's fine, Father." "Thank you for your time." "Good luck, Mother." "[DELIA LAUGHING]" "This is fun." "Can we do it again?" "absolutely." "It will be our thing." "So that means you can't come here with her." "Promise." "I don't think I should make those kinds of promises anymore." "Because you can't keep them." "No." "Because I can't make the decisions that I have to make if" "well, if I'm scared of you." "You're not scared of me." "Are you kidding me?" "You bet I am." "When you're mad at me, my stomach turns inside out." "I hate it." "I'm not mad at you, Dad." "I just don't want her to be mad at me." "well, honey, Linda's not gonna be mad at you." "Not Linda." "Mom." "What about Mom?" "If I Iike Linda, Mom will know, and she'II be mad." "well, why would Mom be mad?" "Because she'II be jealous." "You think Linda's beautiful." "She's got red hair and she's a doctor and Mom wasn't like that." "Honey there will never be anyone who means as much to me as Mom did." "Not anyone." "Just like no one could ever take your place, or Ephram's." "That's the first thing you have to know." "What's the second?" "The second thing is that Mom would never be mad at you or me or anyone for liking someone else that wasn't her." "I don't know." "She could be pretty tough." "della, when someone we love dies it's okay to be sad about it for a while." "For as long as you need to be, really but you just can't hang on to all the love that you used to give to that person." "Why not?" "well because love's not worth a whole lot if you just keep it to yourself." "well, it's getting kind of late." "Oh, yeah." "probably time to order another movie." "Two in one night?" "Why not?" "The world is our oyster." "So, what will it be?" "Action, comedy or drama?" ""Driving Miss Daisy Crazy."" "What's that?" "You wouldn't like it." "Sperm's here." "Oh, good." "I'II take it." "careful, that's liquid nitrogen." "I hope they get his chin." "He had a great chin." "Oh, for God's sakes." "You know what?" "I can't do this." "There is no way." "neil." "It's like I don't even exist." "Uh, maybe I should take that." "Our baby this, our baby that." "We're gonna work together." "Raise it as a team, that all sounds great but you know what?" "That's not our kid." "I will never be able to love it like it's mine because it's not." "I'm sorry if that makes me a horrible person, but that's how I feel." "Honey, I know you're insecure, but I have to do this." "I made a promise and so did you." "well, I take it back." "Guys, please." "Why don't we take a deep breath?" "You know what?" "I'm all out of deep breaths." "helen you have a choice to make." "It's either me or him or them." "It's your decision." "Whatever you wanna do, I'II help you." "Thought I had room for both of them." "That make any sense?" "I stopped trying to make sense of things a Iong time ago." "You know, it's funny it's been almost two years since my wife died." "And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her." "well, it's always little things." "It could be a song on the radio or a phone call or even a certain scent." "If you could've seen Ted's face when he made me promise...." "Listen." "No one would blame you if you changed your mind." "You are a wife before you're a widow." "We all make promises to people we love but letting go is not the same thing as forgetting." "It's not even close." "I'm not going through with the procedure." "Thank you, Dr. Brown." "Oh, uh, helen?" "What would you Iike me to do with this?" "actually I'm wondering if you could do me one last favor." "How did this happen?" "It's okay." "I thought I was doing the right thing." "I thought she'd come home." "I really did." "I know." "We'II get through this." "How?" "How will we?" "By staying together." "[RINGS]" "Hi." "Hi." "Can Linda come out and play?" "You're not gonna sing for me again." "No, but I couId dance." "actually, I'm here to ask you out on a date." "I've worked it out with della and she's completely onboard." "AII you have to worry about now is my grating personality and lack of charm." "I'm glad to hear that about della but you know that your kids aren't the only issue." "I know." "I mean, I'm okay right now, but that can change, any day, any time." "well, I couId get hit by a truck tomorrow." "Look, I'd be lying to you if I told you that your sickness didn't scare me at first." "I mean, it's one thing to start dating again but it's another to date a woman that I couId lose." "But I'm just not gonna sit back and watch life pass me by without trying to find just a little piece of happiness along the way." "And neither should you." "Look, all I'm asking for is one date." "Just dinner and a movie." "Okay, an expensive dinner." "Maybe sushi." "Do vegetarians eat fish?" "See you later." "hold on." "Where do you think you're going?" "Out." "No, ma'am." "Not on a school night." "We're watching a movie." "I won't be late." "I don't care what you're doing, you're not doing it tonight." "Why not?" "I don't need the car." "I'm sorry, but I didn't exactly earn my parenting stripes the first time around." "You're my responsibility for now and I have to set some limits." "If you wanna see people during the week, fine, have them over here." "And weekends are yours so long as your schoolwork's done and you're home by midnight." "Grandma?" "And you're gonna start helping out here." "KP, keeping the house clean." "Harper's not used to being outnumbered, so I've gotta be careful." "Those are the rules." "And you bust a curfew, or step out of line once, just once and I'II be on you Iike a bum on a bologna sandwich." "Understood?" "Are you trying to make me leave, Grandma?" "I'm trying to make you understand that even though you think you are a 35-year-oId woman, you're not." "And there are rules in every port, sweetheart, everywhere you go." "well, can I still see Tommy?" "Yes." "I already promised you that and I'm not gonna go back on my word." "But I hear once that you've crossed the line with him or lied to me about where you've been and you're confined to barracks permanently." "[EPHRAM GRUNTS]" "I think I'm getting a nosebleed." "well we're here." "This is the spot." "EPHRAM:" "AII things considered, I don't think Men's Chorus was such a bad idea." "peaceful, isn't it?" "Yeah, it's nice." "His wife said this was Ted's favorite spot." "I can see why." "So she just wants you to hurl it over?" "Yep." "Isn't there some law against dumping sperm in a national forest?" "probably." "It seems weird her not doing it herself." "You didn't even know the guy." "well, I think that's why." "She didn't say as much, but I couId tell." "Yeah, you have a real sixth sense about people." "well, enough to know that something's on your mind." "You wanna tell me what it is?" "Yeah, I mean, I Iike Linda." "I do." "I can see why you Iike her." "I think." "But the fact is, I'm not as cool about you starting to date as you want me to be." "I'm just not." "It's not that I'm not cool about it, it's just that it's weird." "I thought you were gonna turn into one of those happy old widows that have a Iot of oId-Iady friends and cats, Iike Andy Griffith." "Nick at Nite." "But that's not you and, you know, I know that now and I want you to be happy." "If dating Linda makes you happy, then I'II find a way to feel less weird." "I will." "It's gonna take time, but I'II figure it out." "That's it." "That's all I wanted to say." "I'm done." "You realize you just told me how you feel with absolutely no prompting whatsoever?" "Hey, you prompted." "Okay, a little, but I'm still impressed." "So you wanna do the honors?" "You're asking me to throw a dead guy's frozen spunk into a canyon?" "cool." "Nice throw." "Good arm." "So here's a question." "If sperm gets thrown into the forest and nobody hears it" "EPHRAM:" "Dad." "Now, come on, that was funny." "Let me try another one on you, okay?" "Having done what we just did..." "...did we commit spermicide?" "Dad." "AND Y:" "Come on, this is funny stuff." "[ENGLISH SDH]"