"Let's talk in the morning or before we go to sleep," "Let's talk about something." "What?" "Just wait and see:" "About wheels, tires and hoods, and drivers in troubles," "Animation People presents" "About roads and tracks and ways leading far away" "About wheels, tires and hoods, and drivers in troubles..." "CAR'S FAIRY TALES" "My name's Antonin Kuzilek and I'm a technical editor." "Or actually a writer, we could say." "Well, originally I was a poet." "But one critic has written about my poetry that it reportedly has no rhymes." "But because I also love cars I have become the author of many successful books on car issues and actually cars in general." "I thought readers enjoyed my books, and they enjoy reading them." "But then one day my publisher Mr Hanke called me." " Kuzilek." " Hello, here's Hanke." " Good morning, Mr publisher." " Listen, Kuzilek, your last chance!" "The bullshit you write is not worth reading!" "For example that "Why the steering wheel is round", only 12 pieces have been sold!" "Twelve, you can hear well." "And your "Petrol is not a roll" - that's an utter failure!" "And that "Half-axle is not an axle" - what a name!" "Well, only 2 pieces of that famous half-axle have been sold." "And I have such a suspicion that you yourself have bought one." "All your achievements are shown in a graphical form." "Kuzilek, if things go on like that, we will have to part." "But I thought that people enjoyed it." "I write it for them, don't I?" "Be quiet, will you?" "You will write a bestseller, do you understand?" "And it won't be that bullshit you usually write about." "It must be something proficient." "For example I have made fortune on "Mystery of a Bermuda triangle"." "It must have a real base people are interested in." "You'll write a hundred-page text in which you will disclose if the car has a soul." "But a hundred pages, that's..." "And if you don't disclose it, you will be sacked." "And that car of yours, that Hugo, I will tum into an invoice weight!" "Oh no, please, no Hugo..." "I have nobody but him." "The deadline is the 15th!" "I must get out!" "I must get out to my cars!" "Hugo, get ready, we are leaving." "I must go to the terrain." "Hi, Hugo." "Here I am." "Come on!" "Today will be a really hard day for us." "You must help me, because if we don't manage it, they will take you away from me." "And I would not come through it." "Hugo!" "Hugo, come on!" "Oh thanks." "A PRINCESS WHO DID NOT LAUGH" "Watching a pasturing cow Marka was far from amusement." "But to set out in a nice car, preferably a cabrio, that's what Vendelin would definitely prefer." "The problem is where to get such a car." "Marka, stop gazing." "Don't worry, I will think something up." "There are many scrap yards all around, where there are plenty of useful gizmos." "Just to collect them, bring them and put them together will do." "lam almost professional car mechanic, aren't I?" "Therefore I have the proper education." "Vendelin said to himself and got down to work." "Well, here are the seats, and what else do I need?" "Right wing, left wing, both axles..." "And a roof against the rain..." "a brake for the case of high speed, bumpers, and something like an airbag." "And yet something against burglars." "He put together something that, with a bit of fantasy, could have looked like a car." "Even like the dreamt out sports car." "In case this stuff was motionless and everything held together." "But Vendelin wanted to start it." "The screws somehow do not hold together." "Shall I bring some glue?" "The neighbour and Marka laughed." "And Vendelin had to put everything together again." "Tie it up with ropes and try to get a job as a circus clown!" "The neighbours were dying of laughter." "Vendelin got cross." "I'd rather go to Brabant than to amuse you, you rednecks!" "There lives a princess who has not laughed for ages." "And that who will manage to make her laugh, is said to get a half of the kingdom." "However, Vendelin was not the first who got such an idea." "Many princes and kings had already tried." "And just as Vendelin was approaching the chateau, another noble suitor was welcome at the gate." "His Majesty Petrol King." "The ruler of all highway petrol stations himself came to propose to the princess." "Vendelin wanted to join him." " Oh gosh, what's that?" " But he failed." "They drove him away." "No poor wanderer will propose to the princess." "If it's impossible through the gate, will be possible over the fence." "Step aside!" "He shouted." "And drove pass the palace guard as far as the palace wall." "Here we are!" "A girl with a crown on her head was hanging around behind the wall." "Hi, don't you happen to be a princess?" "He whispered respectfully." "And the frowning girl nodded." "They say you need to get cheerful and my car makes everyone laugh." " Just come and have a look." " To climb over the wall?" "Because of a car?" "The princess went on frowning." "And what if the car is not funny at all?" " If daddy saw it, he'd make problems." " Come closer." "Just have a try." "Promises are made to be broken." "A gizmo made from god knows what." " Should this make me laugh?" " Just have a look, Your Majesty." "My Vendelin model has rich equipment and can do many funny tricks." "Well, it has a remote unlocker, its own indoor orchestra, a self-fixer..." "a parking assistant... city bumpers..." "jam bumpers... equipment against the rain..." "a pedestrian remover... and a guarding device!" " Well, ok." "And does it really work?" " Like a shot!" "Auuu!" "Should this make me laugh?" "La pardon!" "A small mistake." "I will fix it immediately." "Well, it's finished." "Now you will sit like in a feather bed." "Here we go." "Pay attention to this important announcement!" "The princess is urged to come to be introduced to the prince." "His Petroleum Majesty is all..." "emmm... impatient!" "Can you hear that?" "Shouldn't we put off the trip a bit?" "They are searching for you everywhere." "The suitor can wait." "You said we would go for a trip, so off we go!" "Or else I will start weeping!" "And do you know what will happen to the man who will make the princess of Brabant cry?" "!" "That will be taken to the palace walls and..." "But I hate ﬂying!" "And I cannot swim either!" "And these were brand new shoes!" "So I will rather fulfill her wishes." "My little hands, get down to work." "Vendelin said to himself and started fixing it as fast as he could." "Attention to the new announcement!" "The princess cannot be found." "There is suspicion that she has been kidnapped by another suitor." "The royal police have started searching in which also Petroleum King will participate." "Good heavens, now I must race with his posh car!" "They are coming near!" "Speed up!" "Can't you go faster?" "Didn't you say it could fly like a shot?" "Well, well, yeah..." "But he can only step on an accelerator and he's got power of fifty five horses." "And what have I got?" "I've got power of one poor horse, moreover second-hand!" "Though it does its best..." "we can't run away from him." "We must hide away." "Vendelin decided and turned into the forest." "Well done, the airbags work!" "Luckily, nobody could hear that auuuuu... and the convoy could go on searching without mentioning anything." "Oh, Lord!" "As I can see the car of your fiancé... that's what I call a posh car!" "The front like a barn wonderful design, you would look great inside!" "But you cannot imagine how boring the oil magnate is!" "And moreover he is short." "Only you feel happy in such a car." "Anyway, if you want to get rid of me," "I will start yelling as they pass by." "Like that..." " Here!" " Oh no, I didn't mean that!" "Oh damn, I don't care for soups." "But they might find us even without your noble weeping." "It's getting dark anyway, so we will have to stay overnight." "It got dark." "And while Vendelin made a bed for the princess behind one bush, he and his car stayed behind the other one." "Vendelin has almost fallen asleep when the royal convoy started combing the forest." "As they were walking in the dark, tripping over the roots they said univocally:" "ls that girl really worth all this effort?" "And when Vendelin started his vehicle two big yellow eyes emerged in front of them." "And something between barking and yelling could be heard." "It looks like a car..." "but it's not a car!" "Rather a wild animal!" "They started arguing." "And when it showed its teeth..." "they took to the heels overt the trees and roots and they stormed away." "Come on, we will make them run even faster!" "Oh, what a fun... the princess was laughing and hugged Vendelin." "Well, finally my car made you laugh!" "Let's hope it will last as long as we get home." "And it did." "The princess was laughing all way long." "The man was found mending the car and your noble daughter was found laughing at it." "And she keeps on laughing." " As you can see." " How great!" "Finally you can get married!" "The suitor is waiting." "Not for that dummy!" "The princess objected." "I can laugh only with Vendelin." "And namely when he gets so dirty under the car." "What a strange dynasty we will be." "But you will get what you want!" "And my royal garage is at his permanent disposal." "Did a d-i-y many need more to be happy?" "Even the princess on his shoulders will be ok." "And especially when she laughs all days." "Well, Hugo, wait here." "No, I won't manage it..." "Just relax." "And left and right and step aside." " What's up?" " Good morning." "What?" "Switch it off!" "So what's up?" "Good morning." "Could I have a word with you, gentlemen?" "Are you the one with the cooler?" "Oh no, I have come for a professional consulting." " It's a highly professional matter." " Ok, then." "Do you think that a car..." " Would it be possible..." " Vedral." "I beg your pardon?" "You must consult Vedral." "He will help you." "The green door, over the yard." "He drove Bugatti," "so he will help you." " Thank you, good bye." " Ok, here we go again." " Don't worry, just get relaxed." "To the third stroke..." "Mr Vedral?" "Is Mr Vedral here?" "Good morning." "Oh, what a beauty!" "How did you manage to put the car inside?" "Very hard work..." " Who's that?" " That's Eliska." "Mrs Junkova, the famous car racer!" "I have immediately recognized her." "How often we raced with each other." "It's a pretty long time ago..." "You probably know a lot about cars, don't you?" "Well, they say it about me." "That's true." " Could I ask you a question, then?" " Yeah, go ahead, young boy." " Has the car got a soul?" " What?" "If the car has got a soul?" "Like a living creature." "Like you or me..." "That it feels fear or... or looks forward to somebody or feels sad or finds something funny." "A soul..." "Well, I really don't know." "But wait, wait..." "Once a very weird thing happened to me..." " What?" " We did a race Zbraslav-Jiloviste." "Here is my diploma." "Up to the hill." "Me and Mrs Junkova." "And I went into a skid in a bend." "The car was dashing against a house." "And at the very last moment the car suddenly... by itself..." " What suddenly?" " You mustn't shout here like that!" "My brother is taking the shift after an hour." " High time yet?" " Sleep on." " Is it time to shift?" " Sleep on, Vendelin." "Give me my glasses and I'm ready to start!" "You still have an hour left." "Vendelinek, sleep... close your little eyes..." "We'll put Eliska into bottle and then it'll be your turn... and you will get my glasses, too..." "Vendelinek, sleep on." "AN ACCOUNTANT AND A FAIRY" "A sinful accountant is something like a white crow." "Most accountants are fathers with families or old bachelors." "They are serious people." "Mr Pistora wasn't an exception." "His only love was admiring the nature, which the accountants are allowed to." "For the sake of intensive admiring the above mentioned nature he got Skoda car Popular OHV from his savings and heritage after his aunt from Golcuv Jenikov." "Volume 1083 with horsepower of 32." "He paid visits to silent woods near Prague, forests around Jilove and was getting into them along muddy roads over the roots and holes." "Time to time he found some mushrooms or a kind of a berry, which always made him feel that the trip paid off." "It was a wonderful life." "Once he drove deep into the forest." "He didn't mention that the roots were more crooked than usual." "He didn't mention the strange shapes of tree stumps." "He didn't even hear the strange croaking." "As he lay down and started to doze off he was pretty sure that it was grass tickling his nose." "He didn't have a foggiest idea that these were teeny weeny men and that he had crossed a vicious root and thus he found himself a captive of supernatural spells." "When he woke up he stood up fearfully." "He obviously overslept." "That's probably due to the forest air, he said to himself and shivered with cold." "Then accountant Pistora came up to his car and carefully brushed needles from its bonnet." "He started the engine carefully and even more carefully, so that he didn't damage a car suspension, he was driving back to the road." "As he was driving he could suddenly hear tapping." "What's that?" "It's somewhere at the back." "He stopped and walked around the car to see if there is no branch dragged behind the car." "He was about to sit down when again... tap-tap." "Oh god, he got scared." "This must be from the boot." "Something might have got in when I was asleep." "A young lady was sitting in the boot." " Excuse me, young lady..." " I was all bent there." " It got locked too soon, you know?" " What does it mean, young lady?" "It means I was a bit too curious and I pressed that button at the back and the lid got open." "So I slipped inside." "And when you woke up so I pulled it again." "But it didn't get open again." "Madam, next time, will you, please, spare me from jokes like that?" " Do you want to leave me here?" " The accountant sighed." "From principle he never took hitchhikers." "But to leave a woman in a ball robe on a forest road is impossible." "He opened the door, the lady slipped into the car, and a scent of violet filled the car." " You will get out here, won't you?" " Why should I?" " Where do you live?" " Over there." "Over there?" "So why are you going here?" "lam not going here." "You are driving me here." "And I am delighted." "Madam, I will drive you where you want, if it's on the way," "otherwise get out." " But I want to be driven." "You are obviously from the village." "Or from the lodge?" " I am from a Silver Glade." " I don't know that." "You can't know that." "Nobody does." "Only that who comes over a vicious root can get there." " And what do you do on that glade?" " I dance." " A dancer?" " No, a fairy." "I got scared!" "But it was nice." "Will you do it one more time?" "Madame, will you...?" "Jokes apart!" "Sir, can you go faster?" "Could you try to overtake the car in front us?" "Madam, the car in front us is Simca Aronde." " And Popular cannot overtake it." " Just try." "The accountant blinked his lights and turned the indicator on." "He was really ready to overtake." "Now you see!" "How easy!" "How great!" "Just drive as fast as you can." "Well, madam, the game is over." "The road patrol is over there so get your documents ready." "And do you think I have any?" "What for?" "Well, excuse me, but in such a case it is fairly unpleasant for me." " They can penalize me." " Don't worry." "She has such a nice smile, the accountant thought for himself." "But it will probably make no impression on the patrol." "Can I see your documents?" " Sergeant, this lady over here..." " Pardon?" " This lady over here..." " Go on driving." "Don't block the traffic, will you?" "The accountant obeyed, and wiped the sweat from his forehead." "Madam, what does this mean?" "Where have you been?" "Well, here." "How could you have been here when the seat was empty?" "Because I was invisible." "There was nothing else I could have done." "Let's be serious." "You are a..." "A fairy." "From the Silver Glade." "You can call me Lesana." "Pistora, an accountant." "But how did you as a fairy get into my car?" "I was curious." "I find cars so exciting." " And you?" " Well, me too." "But what shall we do now?" "Where shall I take you?" "I will stay by you." "I won't disturb you at all." "And after we have some sleep, we'll go out again." " And we'll be overtaking cars." " No, no overtaking, madam, fairy." " I'm an employed man." " So after you finish your work." "And what do you do?" "Do you dance or you spook?" "I'm an accountant." "And I live alone." "I cannot bring a woman home." "I'll make myself invisible for some time." "What could the poor accountant do?" "He couldn't endlessly argue with that person, could he?" "It was almost 11 p.m." "So he said to himself:" "be it is it may." "He took the fairy home." "And he was scared not to meet anyone." "It was dark on the staircase." "The fairy might have been frightened, so she got close to him." "And Pistora felt his heart beat faster." "The landlady was waiting for him." "She knocked on the door and stormed in with a cup of coffee." "Lesana had hardly any time to disappear." " Do you drink coffee?" " I don't know." "I have never tried." "Then they were sitting, drinking coffee and nibbling at a cake." "And the fairy enjoyed it." "Don't go anywhere, stay inside." "I'll bring something to eat." "And in the afternoon we'll make another car ride." "Due to this and the violet fragrance that was still accompanying him the accountant was in extremely good mood, and all seemed to go pretty well." "He hardly locked the desk and hurried home and put two portions for dinner into his briefcase." "Lesana was sitting in an armchair and did enjoy the sandwiches." "But when they were walking along the corridor, she rather dwindled away." "She appeared again as late as in the car." "All was as it should be." "And under these circumstances" "Pistora found possible to have a fairy at home." "Mr accountant, you are permanently out, the landlady wondered." "You keep forgetting about us, Mr Havlik told him." "He didn't forget, but somehow, he started failing at work." "Because of Lesana his financial situation was getting worse." "It wasn't the first of the month yet, and Mr Pistora found out that his account balance is rather disbalanced." "He said to himself: a fairy and she costs like a common woman." "He was gloomy, but obviously the fairy didn't care." "He didn't talk." "But she didn't find it strange either." "The most importantly that every day he drove her somewhere as fast as the little Popular could." "But such a life is not sustainable for a decent accountant." "So one day he went to a pub to meet Mr Havlik to complain to him." "She says she is a fairy..." "Mr Havlik, a worldly man, who used to serve with marines, didn't actually wonder." "A fairy, you say..." " She says that." " And she can disappear..." "So it can be a fairy." "I would need her to disappear for ever not only for a moment." "As far as I know, one marine of ours caught a mermaid somewhere near Lisbon." "Something similar as you have." "When he got fed up with her, he put her into a boat and off they were sailing." "And there the mermaid got homesick." "She said she would love to visit her home." "No problem, the marine said." "And as she jumped into the water, he started rowing back." "He just got to the shore, when he could hear a tide." "The mermaid was dashing to her sweetheart." "But he only crossed himself and ran away." "What if you tried the same?" "The accountant thanked Mr Havlik for advice, the next day he took the afternoon off and together with Lesana they drove out of Prague." "Not along the roads to overtake cars but to the nature." "He got to the place where he had found her." "He drove to the forest path almost as far as the glade." "What a beauty, eh?" "What a cute glade!" "If I were a fairy, nobody would get me out of here." "What a nonsense." "A bit of grass and a few trees..." "I have enjoyed all this before." "But your friends?" "You miss them, don't you?" "How about having a dance with them?" "I would be watching." "I'm fed up with dancing." "My legs hurt just when I recall it." "And drinking dew again?" "I prefer coffee much more." "Not speaking about beer." "Shall we do a glass of beer?" "Finally, Pistora got down to dancing alone." "He was skipping and twisting among the trees." "It was even fearful to look at him." "You dance like our Hejkal who was always getting on my nerves." "Will you start Popular and drive back, please?" "The accountant got sadly into his car and drove quietly home." "He again wasted money for petrol." "And he didn't get rid of the fairy." "Speed up!" "Move on!" "But in the rumbling sound of the engine Pistora seemed to hear metal voice of his Popular." "In the engine roaring he heard something that he especially enjoyed." "It was an idea!" "As usual he stops by an open-air restaurant and Lesana rushes to the table." "Young guys who were there with their motorcycles didn't believe their eyes." "No wonder, you can't see a fairy every day." "After it lasted too long and she had already ﬂirted with all the guys, she came to Pistora to ask what was wrong." "Well, it won't likely start again." "We have somehow overdone it." "OK, but how will we get home?" "And how about our trips?" "No more trips." "Many people have no cars." "They walk." "To walk?" "As if I hadn't walked enough." "Well, there is hardly anything I can do about it." "As you can see..." " Can I help?" " Nothing can help us." "Well, if you wanted to give a young lady a ride." " Faster, faster." "And don't care!" " And he didn't." "Therefore he drove into a field behind a bend and Lesana landed in bushes." "All other people would finish badly injured." "But a fairy woven from the moonlight can hardly broke anything." " Where to, madam?" "It doesn't matter." "But it must be fast." "It was getting dark and Pistora was still fixing his Popular." "And the longer it lasted, the happier he was." "Finally he put back the distribution cord, closed the bonnet, washed his face and started the engine." "So what, my friend, we seem to have outsmarted her." "You gave me excellent advice." "Forget about fairy's glade today." "A posh car - that's what can trap her." "And do you know I wonder what she is being driven in now?" "She wasn't bad..." "you understand..." "But an accountant and a fairy don't match together." "And not even with Popular." "A fairy would need a Buick or a Chevrolet." "And they drove as they were used to." "Since that time Pistora has never driven into deep forests for his Sunday rest." "He let Popular have a proper rest." "He preferred museum and galleries." "And any time he popped through his newspaper there was always at least one photo of Lesana." "He has recently spotted her." "A driver of a luxurious cabriolet with his beard falling down on his belly was buying ﬂowers to her." "They drove away at 130 km/h." "Why not, after all?" "Nothing can happen to a fairy." "Let's talk in the morning or before we go to sleep," "Let's talk about something." "What?" "Just wait and see:" "About wheels, tires and hoods, and drivers in troubles," "About roads and tracks and ways leading far away." "About wheels, tires and hoods, and drivers in troubles," "About roads and tracks and ways leading far away." "Alarm!" "Alarm!" " I'm sorry." "It was by mistake..." " Who are you?" " Are you a spy?" " A spy?" "Oh no." " An industrial spy?" " An industrial spy?" "Definitely not." " Who are you?" " An explorer." " What do you want?" " Well, tell me:" "has a car got a soul?" "Look, let's say that in the past an average passenger car used to have five inner tubes." "Including a spare tire." "However today, we construct tubeless tires, so it has no inner tube." "Sorry, but you didn't quite understand." "I was asking whether it can have a soul like a man?" "That it can feel and enjoy itself..." "it fears or has a belly ache." " Are you a spy?" " Oh no." ".Not even an industrial SPY?" " No." " Can I believe you?" "I'm not, I swear." " You would say that, wouldn't you?" " I would." " Come closer." " Thank you very much." "That is a car." "What's that?" " A finger." "Oh no, a roof." " That's a roof." "But it has no soul." "And this is a front bonnet, right?" "Quite a common type, 706." "Futura ficka with a diagonal ascendant, Hauf type." "It has no soul either." "And the door..." "Not even a shed door has a soul, right?" "And tires?" "We have already mentioned." "And there we have a chassis, the French always spell it like that, and there is no soul either." "And as for the electronics that is somehow inside..." "Boss, excuse me, but do you remember once we were taking the relay out and all of a sudden it started to..." " Hush, shut up!" " Do you know something" "He doesn't." "Once we were taking the relay out and it suddenly started to..." " Am I right, Mr Karbus?" " Be quiet!" "He doesn't know anything." "What's that?" " A dictaphone." " A dictaphone, I see... how nice..." " Well, and this is clear voice make." " I see..." "Ooops!" " Wait, you can't do that!" " Don't worry, he'll digest it." "There is a magnet, so he'll digest it." " So thank you." " Welcome." "Good bye." "Who are you?" "You must be the spy." "FISHERMAN MARSICEK" "Once upon a time there lived a fisherman called Marsicek Vaclav." "He lived with his wife Betuska in a block of ﬂats in the suburb between Suchdol and Sedlce." "Their car was parked outside the house." "The oldest and worst car you could ever see." "Not from the second, but probably from the fiftieth hand." "You could hardly recognize if it was Simca, Fiat or Popular." "What's that?" " Quiet!" " Quiet, please!" "Well, Mr Marsicek was a handy man." "He tapped here and there and the car was ok." "It drove worse than any other perfect cars that were a pride for its owner." "But Mr Marsicek had the car just to get to a dam." "There he was sitting all day in the willow shadow waiting for fish." "Relax, you little one." "Stop tossing about." "Just a second." "Well... one more time." "And one more." "And finished." "He did hardly any harm." "When he got home his catch, he was as happy as could be." "And in front of the house he was blowing the horn that the whole street was upside down." "Betuska, I was so lucky today." "His wife didn't want to be laughed at so she used to say:" "I must be going." "My crazy husband has again caught a white fish." "However, it was not always only a white fish." "Sometimes it was even a percid or a vimba or a zander." "Not speaking about a carp." "But he has never caught a pike." "He didn't even try to trap it." "He felt sorry for a little fish as a bait." "Mr Marsicek's heart was so soft that he drove his car wreck to the dam all winter." "Not to catch fish but to look after it." "He cut ice so that they didn't suffocate." "So many times was Marsicek frozen to death." "But the fish felt good." "Toiling to the dam did no good to the car." "Luckily spring has finally come, otherwise it would break into pieces." "He was desperate." "Good heavens, I hope I haven't overdone it." "It looked like a barbet but it wasn't a barbet." "It looked like a pike but it wasn't a pike." "It could also be a little catfish but it wasn't a catfish either." "It was a fish king." "And he said:" "Fisherman, you protected my subordinates from suffocation." "Say, what do you require?" "You would definitely need something for your car." "At least a starter." "Well, come back after you make up your mind." "And now, put me back, will you?" "And so Mr Marsicek put that strange fish back." "Then, at home, he told his wife all." "And didn't you want anything?" "Do we live in a fairytale so that a gold fish fulfilled our wishes?" "Look at our flat!" "And I have nothing to wear and neither do you." "People laugh at us what beggars we are." "And you, Vaclav, ask for nothing..." "Then Mr Marsicek didn't have a wink of sleep all night." "Fish king, if you weren't just joking..." "Sure, a starter, starting starter!" "And how about a clutch?" "You would need one as well, right?" "Yippee!" "I've got a new clutch!" "And a starter as well!" "Betuska, come on!" "We've got the best car in the world!" "Oh folk, what a ride it was." "Look, here they are." "How's that possible?" "How does it come that it runs so well?" "What a devilry!" "Old but it runs like a shot." "The best car in the world?" "For the god's sake!" "Why don't you ask for something that can be seen?" " What do you mean, Betuska?" " New wheels." "They can be seen, and people would finally stop laughing at me!" "And people would finally stop laughing at her?" "Your Majesty, I am terribly sorry... to bother you again, it's because of the wheels." "Ah, wheels, I guess both - front and rear." "Oh gosh!" "Wow, daddy!" "What?" "Vaclav!" "What a beauty!" "And people stopped laughing indeed." "As they started gazing at that shining stuff." "New tires but torn seats and scratched roof." "What a wreck!" " I've said that." " What?" "No way!" "I'm fed up with it!" "Tum back, I'm going with you and I myself will arrange it." "Damn, I have even no time to sit down by the water!" " Betka, wait, don't be foolish." " Fish king, where are you?" " I actually only wanted..." " You only wanted a new roof?" "And a new front and back?" "And new seats for the neighbours to wonder and a new six-cylinder engine." "I can tell you, it wasn't a car any more." "It was a real posh car!" "Here we go!" "I as a humble man can't even get into it." "Never mind." "I'll drive." "Betuska, you haven't driven for 10 years!" "But in the meantime she stormed into the streets blowing the horn loudly." "She drove through all crossroads, respectless the light was red or green." "The posh car was ﬂying like a shot." "She might have liked to stop but she didn't know how." " Betka, my dear Betka..." " Ooooh, that's her end!" "Betuska!" "Oh no, that can't be true!" "Where is she?" "What happened to her?" " Thank you very much." " Well done!" "People were laughing, but this time it was sincere laughter." "With joy and relief that all had finished good." "And Mr Marsicek understood that since that time he would have to go fishing on foot." "Let's go home, Betuska." "Don't worry, Betuska." "After all, there are so many things in a block of ﬂats between Sedlce and Suchdol that nice and cheerful people can enjoy." "Wow, what a good-looking boy you are!" "Don't worry, Hugo, you are the most beautiful of all." "You know that." " Kuzilek." " Hello, Hanke's speaking." " Hello, Mr publisher." " So how about the text?" " How much have you proceeded?" " Pretty much..." "Yeah..." "It looks good." "It's the deadline tomorrow." "If you don't make the deadline, we'll say good bye to your Hugo and you start looking for a new job!" "Good bye." "Move on!" "One minute thirty five!" "Excellent time, but what about the back straights?" " Hello." "Hi." " Can I ask you a question?" "You have one minute twenty before Jindra gets around." "Thank you." "I do such a research." "Do you think..." " Has a car got a soul?" " No." "You may not have understood well." "I don't mean an inner tube," "I think an inner soul." "That it feels something..." "Sir, I'll tell you something." "There is no soul in a car." "It's a machine." "I understood you pretty well." "Thank you." "But wait, I'll tell you something different." "A man can make a relation to a car, just the same as to another man." "Come and have a look." "This was my first car." "I called him Milan." "We had never won anything." "But he was very sensitive." "We loved each other." "And understood each other." " And this..." " Who's that?" "My first husband." "But this is my second car, Karel." "We didn't understand each other so well, as he was such a fighter." "But we used to win." "I always used to ask him at the start:" "Karel, shall we go?" "And Karel only made ememem..." "Such a grumpy." "Well, this was Karel." "And this one was my third one." "Josef." "I liked him most for he was as sensitive as Milan and combativeness of Karel and still we were together..." "Excuse me, simply they never put him together again." " That's all." " I am very sorry to hear it, madam." "I'll tell you something: when I think about it and we are talking so I realize that..." " What?" " What's the time?" "Oh God!" "Because of you I stopped measuring it." "Look, honey, it's the same." "You did better the straight but you've again screwed up the obstacle." " Mr racer..." "Yes?" " Has a car got a soul?" " What?" " If a car has got a soul?" "The car is after its driver." "Liba over there is quite a pig." "His car is all dirty, sparkling plugs are all grubby..." "He's terribly intolerant." "Such as the other day in Dublovice..." "Mr Vesely, that's something different." "His car is all clean, all stickers..." "He has already won a championship for the third time." "But otherwise he is a fairly savage." "So thank you very much." "Jindra, I tell you, do your best, make an effort." "You are an asshole." "Let's go, for the last time!" "Hold on, sweetheart!" "We are almost there." "Come one, Vince!" "Be quiet and go!" "I've got a son!" "Yippee!" "Vincent was born in a car." "Therefore his first was not mummy neither was it daddy." " It sounded rather like A CAR." " A car?" "His parents were stunned with it." "But it was only the beginning." "A car became Vincent's most favourite toy." "His father tried to talk him out... but in vain." "When Vincent was one year, he dismantled the first car." "When Vincent was two, he dismantled the first van." "Then Vincent learned to make cars better." "And he trained on postmen's motorbikes." " Good morning." " Hi, Vincent." "How is your daddy?" " Is better yet?" "Not too much." " So give him my regards." "To save Vincent and all postmen father enrolled Vincent into a contest for the best designer." "Vincent won this contest." "And so next year again, and again..." "as long as it became a tradition." "Excellent!" "We have finally found an ingenious idiot!" " Bring Vincent here, immediately!" " As directed, boss!" "Well, at that time a healthy life style was in." "And thus Vincent seemed to be the very last one who still loved cars." "The cars almost became extinct." "Everybody was getting rid of them and even paid the others to take their cars." "Thanks a lot!" "However, there was yet one man who was obsessed with cars even more than Vincent was." "His name was Ernesto Ernest." "He was the owner of the very last car-making factory in the world." "Mr President, only two cars were sold for the last month." "One was bought by a museum, and the second by your mother." "Vincent, I'm very glad you've accepted my invitation." "You've definitely heard about my car factory." "I'm just about to extend production." "Mr President, but we can't afford it." "Now, let's get down to our business." "You've been extremely lucky, chap." "I'm offering you a job." "You'll be my senior designer." "And thus Vincent's dream came true." "The first task was clear:" "design something that won't look like a car." "People will buy it and they'll think it isn't a car but it will be a car." " Howdy, ladies?" " Who was that?" " What was he driving?" " I must have it!" "Well, in this easy way cars became trendy again." "Short men required big cars." "Fat ladies required aerodynamic cars." "Beanpoles were buying mini cars." "Pregnant women had to have armoured cars, clowns took up black limousines and politicians colourful buses." "And all they were fairly satisfied." "I've got it, it's brand new, and it can even spring!" "Now you see, eh?" "Oh lord!" "But soon cars became quite useless." "There were too many of them but too few roads." "Traffic jams were everywhere, you could drive nowhere." "The air was not for breathing, the cities were not for life." "The only person who enjoyed it was Ernesto Ernest." "More, Vincent, more!" "Mr President, we produce a million cars a day!" "Vincent had no idea about that all." "He was still sitting in his office making one design after another." " Boss, how perfect!" " What a beauty!" "Brilliant!" "And Ernesto?" "He was sure that he could rely on Vincent's talent." "But as a rule, nothing lasts for ever." "Once it must have come." "Vincent, our car factory is holding races and I must win." "Think up the best car ever for me and I wanna have it by evening." "We are starting at midnight!" "At that moment Vincent ran out of ideas." " Boss, what's that?" " Boss, that's not a car." "Boss, that's a pig!" "Boss, there are no more inventions!" "You've already invented all cars." "And that was true." "The harder Vincent tried, the less he invented." "But he didn't want to give in." "Vincent, is my supercar ready yet?" "You say it's not?" "!" "What are you waiting for?" "I wanna see the results!" "Only five minutes left!" "Vincent, there is some bouncing there!" "Vincent, don't sleep, wake up!" "Boss, are you there?" "Mr President called and he was a bit nervous." "Where the heck is the car?" "!" "I'll tear Vincent into pieces!" "Oh gosh!" "Think, Vincent, think!" "Vincent?" "Where is my racing special?" "What are you thinking about?" "You've got the last minute!" "Or else I'll make minced meat of you!" " Or I'll make you into..." "...a car That's it!" "Finally!" "Vincent got the very last and the very crazy idea he had ever had." "Get ready for the start." "Ten..." "We'll have to break down the door." "Seven, six... four, three..." "One!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Mr Vincent..." "Vincent, I curse you!" "Here is your special, Mr President." "What does this mean?" "ls Vincent pulling my socks or what?" "Get away!" "Where are the pedals?" "Where is the starter?" "Shall I command it: go!" "?" "This car isn't bad at all!" "And I've got you!" "Now I'll show you who the champion is!" "Speed up!" "Tschus, you cowards!" "Somehow you are lagging behind!" "Even with your shiny wrecks!" "How dare you?" "Stop it at once!" "No!" " Are you enjoying the new car?" " What?" "ls that you, Vincent?" "That's amazing." "I knew I could rely on you!" "What a super car it is!" "And look, I don't even have to drive!" "You don't, but you'd better hold firmly." "We'll drive fast." "Vincent, how fantastic!" "What are you doing?" "Where are you looking?" "You'll pay for it!" "Vincent, we won't manage it." "Do something!" "This is a perfect car!" "Such cars will be bestsellers!" "Every man will be turned into a car!" "With zero production costs!" "Just imagine!" "Oh, sorry, my tailpipe is full of holes." "Kids, here's your snack - your favourite oil!" "There is nothing we can do about it." "I'll have to tow you away to a car scrap." "Go, go, go!" "Vincent, you idiot, what have you done?" "We could have won!" "Help!" "What are you doing?" "Where are you going?" "Stop, immediately!" "How dare you, you poop!" "Mr Ernest, look down." "You can clearly see it from here." "Vincent, you've got totally mad!" "Do you want to watch a town now?" " What am I supposed to see there?" " Will you look carefully, please?" "Don't you think it has changed?" "You cannot breathe there and it's so noisy." "That's our fault." " Both of us." "You and me." "Our fault, what our fault?" "Vincent, you thought up all those cars and people were buying them!" "That's not my fault!" "And anyway, if you don't like it, go." "Ok, Mr Ernest, as you wish." "I will." " But first, I'd rather take off." " Vincent?" "Oh no!" "I'll miss you, Mr Ernest." "And that was the end of infamous Ernesto Ernest and that was the end of talented Vincent." "Four wheels have stuck with him." "Therefore he still goes around the world and lives among his beloved cars." "If you are watchful, you may see Vincent somewhere on a road." "We haven't found anything, Hugo." "We've got nothing, nothing at all." "After so much asking, so much time, and we've got nothing." "And the deadline is tomorrow." "What shall we do?" "He'll ruin me." "And he'll take you away from me, Hugo." "How terrible." "You'll be gone." "I won't give you, don't worry!" "Not to anyone." "We'd rather drive away together!" "Did you blow the horn?" "If yes, blow the horn again." "You are talking to me?" "You are talking to me!" "So cars have their souls?" "So shall I go and write it?" "So I'm running..." "And sleep well!" "And thank you!" "My soul is sensitive;" "my heart is made from steel" "But when I can clearly smell the scent of your overall" "My soul goes up and, my heart beats strong again" "A bluish little cloud ﬂows free in the air" "The wheels go forward fast, and off we ﬂy" "Licking the guard stones, they taste after honey" "And in the evening, after a tiring shift," "We all together change for the reverse shift." "My soul is sensitive, and sides are iron plates" "I'm just a vehicle, riding on four wheels" "My soul is sensitive;" "my heart is made from steel" "But I can still feel love, to driver - my best colleague." "My soul is sensitive, my sides are iron plates" "I'm just a vehicle, riding on four wheels" "My soul is sensitive;" "my heart is made from steel" "But I can still feel love, to driver - my best colleague." "I'm always here for you, my master, my lord" "My engine is roaring, my cooler cools no more" "I'm always here for you, you lord of the dust" "My lights are twinkling, my wings are all but rust" "I long for a kind and friendly driver's touch" "Whenever he desires, I can turn at once" "And in the evening, after a tiring shift," "We all together change for the reverse shift." "My soul is sensitive, my sides are iron plates" "I'm just a vehicle, riding on four wheels" "My soul is sensitive;" "my heart is made from steel" "But I can still feel love, to driver - my best colleague." "My soul is sensitive, my sides are iron plates" "I'm just a vehicle, riding on four wheels" "My soul is sensitive;" "my heart is made from steel" "But I can still feel love, to driver - my best colleague." "And once in the far future" "Doing the last kilometer, my soul will proudly blow away" "Thank you for driving like a gentleman" "And once in the far future, the engine sings its last tune" "Thank you for being on our track you never drove like a brat." "My soul is sensitive, my sides are iron plates" "I'm just a vehicle, riding on four wheels" "My soul is sensitive;" "my heart is made from steel" "But I can still feel love, to driver - my best colleague." "I'm just a vehicle, riding on four wheels" "My soul is sensitive;" "my heart is made from steel" "But I can still feel love, to driver - my best colleague."