"It has been 302 days since I last saw my wife, Debbie." " How'd you get my car?" " The less you know, the better." "You are resisting!" "I'm a political prisoner!" "I'm coming down there." "I'll take care of this." "Kurt, let's leave the Earth work to the Earth workers, all right?" " Walsh screwed this up." " Don't get shot." "Time to clean up this mess." " Hello." " Beacon Police Department." "There might've been a car accident." "On Hawthorne Road." " Oh, shit." " Uh, I swung by Hawthorne Road." "Checked it out." "There was..." "there was one casualty." "Jesus, what a mess." "Uh, it was a... it was a raccoon." "Oh, thank God." "Oh." "Oh, yes, okay." "Thank God." "Oh, seemed so much bigger than a raccoon." "It was quite obese." "Can I get your name, please?" "So, what happened?" "Looks like he beamed right onto Hawthorne Road." "I took care of the body." " You're positive he's dead?" " He's definitely dead." "You're gonna have to break it to them." " Can you do it?" " That's way above my pay grade." "Yeah, rent-a-cop asshole." "So, you should probably..." "I know." "You might want to remove your skin suit." "I'm going like this." "Yeah, so, uh," "Glimmer said he beamed right onto the road, but the car hit him right away." "Anyway, I know you guys all spent a lot of time up here, so, uh, sorry." "Wait, uh, I don't understand." "Kurt's dead?" "This is your fault." "He was cleaning up your mess." "I told you guys I had Ozzie under control, all right?" " Oh, wow." " Oh, here we go." "You know, I mean..." "I mean, guys..." "Guys, I mean, Kurt's not dead." "He's not dead." "He's not." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no." "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No." "No!" "No!" "Please, take me instead!" "I just can't feel anything anymore." "Phew." "Sorry, I was a mess there for a second." "It usually doesn't take me that long to process my emotions." "Okay." "Who wants tea?" "Ozzie." "Ozzie." "Turn it around." "You have to turn one around to make them join up." "Uh!" "What exactly does a sponsor for an alien abduction support group do?" "I mean, am I supposed to call you if I feel tempted to talk to aliens or something?" "Basically if you wake up in the middle of the night and you need to talk to somebody," "I'm your guy." "I'll bring you a burrito or whatever." "Why?" "Do you have something?" "Ozzie." "I'll save it till I need a burrito." "So, does anybody have any... uh, anyone other..." "Richard." "You have something to share?" "I do." "Thank you." "So, as you know, my wife was captured by the Reptilians, and needless to say, this has been quite an ordeal." "I've done everything possible to find her." "A lesser man would've been destroyed by this, but, uh, I'm much more resilient than I ever thought." "Wherever she is, I hope she knows" " that I've not given up on her." " _" "So, there haven't really been any new developments here?" "Gina, if you would let me finish, then you would know that you should let me finish." "Because... they made contact." "I'm looking for Richard Schultz." "I'm a representative of the Reptilian High Council and I have some news about his wife." "Are you Richard Schultz?" "Yes." "You've been served." "Oh, wow." "It was a long time coming." "That' must've been a hard message to receive, Richard." "Oh, and an even harder message to decode." "Took a while to crack the code, but I did it." "So, first I counted all the words." "That's nothing." "Then I circled all the odd or prime-numbered letters, which is total gibberish, clearly." " What did it say?" " Okay." ""Richard." ""Richard." ""They totes have me." ""Help." ""Deeply, Debbie."" "Richard, those are divorce papers." "To the untrained eye." "You're not a trained therapist." " I know that." " I'm not sure that you do." "I would know if I was a trained therapist, Gina." "Listen, I need you to go easy on Richard, okay?" "He's what we call..." " fragile." " I don't think fragile's a clinical term." "And we let people work through things in their own time." "Gina, the guy is struggling with something." "Somebody needs to tell him the truth." "Who's truth?" "Your truth?" "My truth?" "Richard's truth is Richard's, and he needs to come to that in his own time." "I need you to do me a favor and pretty please, just don't push him into a nervous breakdown." "Ozzie." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show up." " Me!" " Oh." " Hey, Gerry." "Where were you?" " Where was I?" "Uh, in jail for the last six days." "And no one came to bail me out?" "Oh, well, I thought Kelly was gonna get you out." "It was... no, it was Chelsea." " Actually, it was..." " Hello!" "Oh, of course I have time to upgrade my cable service." "That's not even a phone." " Anything?" " You missed the meeting." "And you... you were my one phone call." "I'm sorry, Gerry." "I..." "I had kind of a weird night." "Hey, Gina, it's me, Gerry, from group." " I'm scared." "I'm in jail and..." " This mailbox is full." " Whoa, what happened to your car?" " I-I-I hit a raccoon." "That must've been one fat-ass raccoon." " Yeah, it was." " How'd you not see it?" " Wait a minute, you hit an animal?" " Yes." " Are you experiencing visions?" " Oh, God." "Gerry, sometimes a car accident is just a car accident, okay?" "Okay." "Where'd it happen?" "Somewhere, um, out on Hawthorne Road." "Hawthorne Road." "Hey, that was pretty intense in there." "Oh, you're telling me." "So, what's your next move?" "Well, I'm supposed to go in for some "mediation,"" "but clearly that's a trap." "You know, if you're worried, I..." "I could go with you." "I just want to prepare you." "We are about to go into the shit." "The Reptilian den." "Their nest." "Really?" "'Cause it says we're going to the offices of Muñoz, Sherman, and Lane." "So, here's how it might go down." "Reptilians are very charming, so they might greet you warmly." "If they offer you a beverage, don't take it." "I mean, actually do take it, but do not drink it." "All right, thanks for the heads up." "Jeff." "You think we should have a funeral?" "Why would we do that?" "'Cause Kurt was our friend and we lost him and we'll miss him." "You sound like an idiot right now." "If Kurt was alive, he'd agree." "But you know what?" "He's dead." "Here's a guy who was here." "Now he's not." "He was a co-worker, and now he's a no-worker, like you, Don." "Hey, Mom." "Did... did we ever go to Beacon when I was little?" "No." "Not that I remember." "W-What about Dad?" "Mayb... maybe he took me?" "God knows where he might've taken you on one of his weekends." "Did you know he took you to the bank for your birthday so he could get a free mug, that cheap mother..." "O-Okay, great." "Uh, take care." "I love you." " Are you all right?" " I'm good." "Really?" "Ozzie, I can't believe it's come to this." "We should never have gone on that camping trip." "It started out good." "We both liked spending time with each other." " Cheers." " Cheers." "We were soul mates." "Ooh!" "Shooting star." "Aah!" "But then after we were taken, she was different." "Sounds like you, uh, really had something special." " Thank you." " Yeah." "Oh, my God." "There she is." "She looks amazing for someone who's been in captivity." "They must've given her highlights." "But to what end?" "Huh." "Hey, Gerry." "Say no to crack." "What?" "Your butt crack was showing." "What are you doing out here?" "Just investigating some inconsistencies." "What am I looking at, Gerry?" "It's just a random piece of fresh blacktop." "Hold on." "Gina told me she hit a raccoon." "So?" "Gina hit a raccoon." "So what?" "Is this or is this not in the shape of a body?" "How many different positions did you lay in before you figured that out?" "A lot." "What do you think?" "Is this crazy?" "Yeah, I mean, it's crazy that they filled up this spot but totally ignored that pothole that's been there for, like, over a year." " Oh, shit." " Oh, shit." "Oh, my gosh." "Counsel for Mr. Schultz, are you ready to proceed?" " Sidebar." " This is not a court of law." "Did you tell them that I'm your lawyer?" "I-I-I..." "All lawyers are Reptilians." "Oh, my God." "Please, I need you." "I-I..." "Please do not leave me here." " No." " Mr. Schultz." "All right, let's, uh, law it up." "Doesn't make any sense." "Why would they pave over a random stretch of road?" "Okay, this is gonna sound a little left field, but I read on the Internet that Reptilians' blood is acidic." "Yeah, I bet that can corrode concrete." "That's genius." "Gina didn't hit a raccoon." "She hit a Reptilian and it melted into the ground." "And then they paved it to cover it up." "Oh, you have a little something." "No, right..." "Here." "I got to go to the post office because I have to... test all of the pens." "Totally." "Uh, thanks for the e-egg salad." "It was righteous." " Just eat the rest of it." " Yeah." "Okay, bye." "I think you'll find our terms very agreeable." "I probably will because I'm a lawyer." "Uh..." "She's being really generous." "She's giving you everything." "Debbie." "Debbie, please look at me." "Blink twice if the Reptilians are making you do this." "Richard, there aren't any Reptilians." "There's one right there!" "He looks so much like a reptile!" "I'm sitting here by myself begging you," " please sign the papers!" " No, you're not... no!" " No, Debbie." " Richard." "Please." "Thank you." "Thank you." "That was pretty tough what you did back there." " Yeah." " How do you feel about it?" "Pretty good, actually." "Well, it's over." " Oh, my God." " You were great." "Shit!" " God damn it!" " _" "Scared?" "Well... yes, yes, I was scared." "But at a certain point, you just have to face the facts." "And, uh, mad props to old Ozzie here, 'cause I never could've done it without him there." "Sorry, so you saw Debbie in person?" "I did." "And you got divorced?" "You signed the papers?" "Well, let's just say that I left my mark." " "Suck Reptilian dicks," Richard?" " Yeah." "What did your Reptile lawyer think about that, huh?" "I knew that this stupid meeting was the only place where you could not ignore me." "Would you please, please just sign the papers already?" "Please?" "Never!" "Hi, Debbie." "Welcome back." "Welcome back?" "Debbie used to be a member of... of StarCrossed," " ... along with Richard." " Cut the shit, Gina, okay?" "I cannot believe that you are still enabling this lunacy." "And you?" "You're his lawyer." "You should know better." "I'm not..." "You're the lawyer." "Go fix it." "What's up, Yvonne?" "Hey, Gerry." "Nice weather we're having." "Yeah, we're inside." "Right." "Perfect 72." "So, that was fun yesterday hanging out with you." "Yeah." "I had a nice time, too." "Surprisingly." "Too bad we hit a dead end." "Yeah, well, here's the thing." "I went down to City Services." "You did?" "Yes, and I got in contact with Animal Control, and there wasn't any record of a raccoon corpse removal for the past two weeks." " No." " Yes." "Richard." "Come on." "Richard!" "Hey, Debbie." "You... you seem really upset." "I do?" "Do I seem upse..." "No, I'm totally fine." "Oh, I know why I'm upset." "Because I'm still married." "Can I help you?" "You know, why don't we talk somewhere a little more private?" "I'm not actually his lawyer." "I'm... kind of a friend of Richard's." " I'm in the group." " Of course." "Just another crazy person..." " ... enabling him." " No, no, no, no, no, no." "I am the most sane person in that room." "I have a master's degree." "Look, the only reason Richard went to mediation is because I talked him into it." "I'm trying to get him to face the truth." "And... it might help if I knew what actually happened on that camping trip." "That was his idea." "I hate the outdoors, which is something that Richard would know if he ever listened to me." "He told me to pack for a romantic getaway." "I thought we were going to Jamaica, not Fish Kill State Park." "I mean, you know, at that point in our relationship, we could barely sustain a conversation, let alone go on a vacation together." "Is that a shooting star?" "I want a divorce." "He makes it seem like, you know, everything was fine before we got abducted," " ... but we were unhappy..." " Wait, so you were abducted?" "Aah!" "You know, honestly, I don't..." "I don't know." "Maybe." "Doesn't matter." "At some point, you have to make a choice." "Do you want to chase the truth or do you want to be happy?" "What if you can't be happy without the truth?" "You are never gonna know what happened to you." "Stop torturing yourself." "Move on." "And help me move on, too." "Hey, Richard." "I always thought Debbie was..." " Debbie was kind of..." " A bitch." "Yeah." "Right." "You know, they say that single's the new married." "I've been married." "It's not." "Richard, how are you feeling?" "I don't know why I denied it for so long." "Debbie is not a prisoner of the Reptilians." "Because she has been a Reptilian the whole time." "Oh, buddy." "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "Let's hear him out." "We're here to listen." "Thank you, Ozzie." "Yes, I have a lot of clues, I have a lot of evidence, and it would be very healing for me to give it all to you right now... um... in order." "So, on our wedding night, I noticed that her hands were very cold." "Reptilians have bad circulation." "Would you like to say a few words?" "No." "Just a few?" "An employee has expired." "And..." "And..." "It's okay." "Let it out." "I want revenge!" "Okay, all feelings are valid." "I want to bathe in their blood!" "They will feel what Kurt felt when I avenge his murder!" "Good sharing." "Did you, uh, get it out of your system?" "Can I have a moment alone with him?" "Sure." "Who did this to you?" "Don't get shot." "Empathy." "I will find you." "Aah!"