"Everything gets better at night even yonkers." "There's no traffic, no aggravation." "Nice." "I've been relieving Sanchez for the last five years, ever since she got back from Iraq." "She's more of a man than all the other guys on the four-to-twelve put together." "She's like a friend." "We share a vice." "Hey." "Hey." "August 10th." "Did you go?" "Check it out." "Here." "Is that ever neat!" "Self portrait." "Oh, you've got to email me this." "Put it on my MySpace." "Hey, when you leaving?" "In the morning." "You crazy?" "Man, you should have took a sick day, come over to my place." "Me and Tina are going to watch ae." "They've got a son of Sam documentary on, being it's the anniversary of when they caught him." "Nah." "You're name's on the schedule, you show up." "Hate it when the guard relieving me is a no show." "Ain't right." "Screw that." "If I was going on my vacation the next day," "I'd tell them all to blow me." "Thought that's what Tina was for." "So, what you hitting?" "Definitely his boyhood home." "Sure." "The juvie facility they had him in." "Still there?" "Yeah." "Closed it in 2000, but it's still there." "Definitely want to see that." "What about the church?" "Yeah." "Church and the shed, up in the hills." "Wow, Carl marznap." "You're really doing it." "Now, one of these years I'm going to go with you." "No." "My trips are my own." "You know that." "Big Jim's going to cali." "Hey, if you see Jessica alba, bang her for me." "Hollywood, it's for faggots." "Going about 150 Miles north of that shit hole." "Take plenty of pictures." "Go fuck yourself." "I've been at post one 15 years almost." "I got job security." "Mostly because no one wants my shift." "Most guards hate it down here." "Down here you're vulnerable." "A couple guards been robbed, been two drive-by shootings." "And they all say it's too lonely." "They go nuts after a few weeks." "But not me." "I never get lonely." "I love it down here." "I had this doctor, this little Jew fucker the court made me see after I got out of the hospital, said it wasn't no good me being alone too much." "Said it was unhealthy." "I thought he was full of shit." "I mean, the world's all fucked up because nobody ever gets a chance to be alone anymore." "You got your emails, answering machines, personal computers, you always got someone up your ass." "Makes people crazy." "You have none of that shit down at post one." "It's why I like it down here." "It's quiet." "Gives you plenty of think time." "The morning rush..." "A long line of people going to their deaths." "Morning, sunshine." "I know they hate their lives." "We're all caught in the same trap." "You." "Hey, hey, hey." "God, you got to get your window fixed." "Come on." "People aren't going to think you have a job." "Get out of here." "They're all sluts, drug addicts, whoremongers, child molesters." "I know they hate me." "They hate all the guards." "Grumpy." "Come on, grumpy." "Get up here." "Come on!" "I've been at this way too long not to know that." "All right, have a great day." "You see, they don't trust us." "Look at you." "You're the sunshine in my day." "They think we're going through their desks and offices at night when they go home and they're right." "We are." "We are worse than what they're paying us to keep out." "So, for thirty seconds each day, we all pretend we're buddies." "This new cook?" "Yeah?" "Every day this week, too many onions." "When's petey getting back from Atlantic city?" "Be back Friday, degenerate gambler that he is." "Packed yet?" "You know me, ma." "I've been packed for two weeks." "California, right?" "Yeah, little town called hatticomb." "It's in, like, farm country." "Farm country." "This guy was a, uh, mass murderer arsonist." "Oh, lovely." "Yeah." "Fucking awesome." "Oh, great, Carl marznap." "Burned down a church in '68, killed a bunch of people." "What the hell's wrong with people?" "Well, this guy was gang raped as a kid." "That'll fuck you up, ma." "I don't get what you do." "Well..." "You know?" "It's..." "It's very macabre to me." "Yeah?" "Yeah, macabre." "What about those people that go to the grassy knoll?" "What about 'em?" "To see where Kennedy's head exploded." "He was the president." "And somehow, that's not weird." "But what I do is." "I don't know." "Maybe you're right." "I mean, I went to Graceland." "Same thing." "Same thing." "He died on the shitter." "He died on the shitter?" "Mm-hmm." "Did they take pictures?" "Absolutely." "No." "I don't understand that." "Is that Jean Nate?" "You always smell so good." "Thank you, sweetie." "Just take care of yourself." "Make sure that wherever you're staying, you go down by the pool, relax." "Yeah." "What do you want me to bring you back?" "I'll trust you." "I'm going to get that sundae going for you." "Just be careful." "Thank you." "Yes, please." "You never took me to ballgames, only cemeteries." "You said they were peaceful." "We hardly ever spoke." "I didn't care." "I just liked being with you." "You put something in my blood, pop." "You made me a grief tourist." "¶ Proudly swept" "¶ the rain clouds by the cliffs ¶" "¶ as on, it glided" "¶ through the trees" "¶ still following" "¶ with glee, the liko" "¶ the a hihi lehua" "¶ of the valley" "¶ aloha oe" "¶ aloha oe" "Mr. Tanner, the room is $49 a day, very clean." "My sister-in-law Olga cleans herself." "I hope you got air conditioning." "It's hot as hell out there." "Yes." "Yes, yes, cool." "Nice place at night." "Good to hide." "I'm on vacation." "How long you stay?" "Four nights." "Got something by the pool?" "Here is your key." "Room 21." "We have no pool, but it's good to look at the beautiful, pretty girls anyway." "Enjoy." "The place is a dump." "But I like it." "It's cheap." "There's better ways to spend your money on vacation than on a room you're hardly ever in." ""Born in the rural community of hatticomb, California in 1918," "Carl marznap began a lifelong odyssey of arson and murder while still only a child." "Embittered by years of torture and sexual abuse at the hands of his alcoholic father, marznap evolved from a quiet and violent boy, into a vicious killer." "He murdered and burned his way across ventura county, on mission of destruction unlike anything law enforcement had ever seen before."" ""Age of thirteen, after numerous acts of arson, marznap was remanded to the infamous grimes reformatory." "A facility known for its..." "Draconian punishments and ability to turn wayward boys into hardened criminals overnight."" "Locked down dormitories." "This is where they kept you." "When you came to grimes, you were full of rage for your parents." "By the time you left, you were full of rage for the whole goddamn world." "When you got here, some older boys pulled you screaming into the bathroom and knocked your teeth out, so you couldn't bite them when they made you blow them." "They almost beat you to death." "You're just a little kid and nobody fucking helped you." "Okay, here's your lovely dinner." "Chicken and a burger." "Looks great, thank you." "Good?" "Okay." "I guess you must have really liked that." "You sure polished that off in a hurry." "Uh, yeah." "My father, he always said "life's short, so eat quick."" "He died of indigestion." "Okay." "Can I get you some dessert?" "Yeah." "Yeah?" "I think there was something..." "The ventura volcano?" "Okay." "Sounds like suicide by dessert." "It is." "I hope you got room for it." "Well, I always got room." "I am a bottomless void." "Oh, you know what?" "That guy was one of our more notorious citizens." "You want some more coffee?" "Uh, sure." "Yeah?" "Okay." "I'll be back." "Um, une volcano." "Okay." "Por favor." "I was in the bookstore up the street and I saw this." "I never heard of him." "I figured I'm here," "I might as well..." "Seems interesting." "Oh, yeah." "He was interesting all right." "You know, we get a lot of people coming through here, going to the places where he killed people." "And also, the teenagers like to go to that shack, where he killed himself." "You know," "I don't get it why people like to go to those places." "I mean, what kind of sick thrill do they get by doing that, you know?" "I don't know about those things." "No." "I do know that people like to go to ground zero." "Yeah, I know." "I think that's really sick too." "Hey, you should come back for breakfast, 'cause it's much better than our dinners." "Okay?" "I'm going to go get your sundae." "Okay..." "Call me when you get to walnut and erbes, all right?" "No, no." "Walnut and erbes." "..."e-r b-e-s." Yeah." "No. "E-r-b-e-s."" "Go in, baby." "I'll be right there." "Hold on." "Go in." "I'll be right there." "Just let me finish this." "That's my door." "Oh." "This is yours?" "I thought you were someone else." "Well, sorry." "All right." "Call me when you get there, papi and then I'll give you my address." "Later." "You section eight?" "Excuse me?" "Are you section eight housing or are you, like, visiting?" "Uh, visiting." "Oh, okay." "Later." "Whores..." "This place is teaming with them." "I love these preachers." "Carl's father was one of these born agains." "Tomorrow I go to the ranch, to see where this man of God tortured his son." "The spot where Carl killed for the first time." "His most intimate place..." "Tomorrow, the tables turn and I haunt you, Carl." ""It was at the modest family home in hatticomb, where Carl's father would tie him to a bed and beat him viciously with a razor strap, sometimes burning his genitals with lit candles and cigars as punishment for minor behavioural offences." "Marznap began his murderous spree at the family home, on a warm September night in 1932." "At the age of fourteen, he would bludgeon his parents to death with a hammer while they slept." "He doused the bodies with gasoline and set the structure ablaze." "He called the night he murdered his parents, 'the most thrilling event in his life.' he had been so excited by the sight of his parents burning that he... ejaculated for the first time."" "Carl, Carl, Carl..." "You had no remorse for what you did, did you Carl?" "Of course you didn't." "You used to say you didn't even know what remorse felt like." "How could you..." "After what they did to you?" "What the fuck happened to me out there?" "Fuck up." "I hope the shit hasn't started up again." "Not fucking now, not here." "Why is it always like this when I split town?" "God, what is it about a man being alone in a hotel room that makes him want to just do the most depraved shit?" "This fucking whore working out of the room next door..." "The devil is just tempting me." "It's one of them itches, the more you scratch it, the more it fucking itches." "I love it." "Do it." "You're a naughty boy, aren't you?" "Ooh, fuck!" "Ooh, ooh!" "Oh, my fucking God!" ""In 1961, after a five-year spree of arson and murder, marznap goes into an extended cooling off period." "In 1964, he begins setting fires again, but said it did little to get rid of the rage he felt towards the church."" ""It and its congregation would have to be punished."" "Yeah!" "Harder!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Oh!" "Don't stop!" "You fucking whore." "Maybe I should change rooms." "I don't..." "I don't like being next to that filthiness." "It's not good for me." "So, you took my advice and you came back for breakfast?" "Hey, are you okay?" "Yeah." "Um..." "My sister..." "She's only 28 and she was just diagnosed with cancer." "Oh..." "They've given her three months, tops." "Oh, lord." "I'm so sorry." "I lost my husband about a few years ago and, um..." "I thought it was going to kill me." "But it gets better." "I'm sorry for your loss." "Thank you." "Excuse me, ma'am." "Um, I'll be right there, okay?" "God damn." "Can I get you anything?" "No." "Okay." "I'm a, uh, friend of bill w's." "I saw your necklace." "Do you know where there might be a meeting tonight?" "Yeah, there's one at the community church at eight o'clock." "That's on Polly street." "Uh..." "I'm Carl." "Hi, Carl." "I'm Betsy." "Okay." "I'm going to get you some coffee, okay?" "Seems like a nice person." "Shouldn't have lied to her." "But the truth has never gotten me anywhere." "So what if I don't have a sister?" "That's not important." "The bottom line is i got pain." "I got pain and she's got pain." "The important thing is our grief touched." "April 14th 1968, your masterpiece." "I can feel you." "Where are you?" "There was only three doors, you know?" "There was that one there." "There was these two here." "Took me two minutes to lock them all in here." "I had it fully burning in eight." "Most of them they-- they trampled each others in the panic." ""Ah!"" "My old man..." "He was one of the church elders." "Everybody knew what he was doing to me." "Oh, but nobody helped me a shit." "Mm..." "Mmm..." "I taught all these phony sons of bitches what being a victim felt like." "I think it's time..." "That you taught someone that sermon." "There was a man and he was sprawled out on the bed, naked." "We had had sex." "I was still so drunk," "I called my husband." "I gave him the address." "He came and got me." "That was my bottom." "I cried for about three weeks after he left." "He took my kids with him." "But somehow I found a room," "August 5th, 1998." "I'm one of the lucky ones." "We're all lucky." "We've all found rooms." "...and he was on the couch and he had been watching a ballgame." "Arrhythmogenic right ventricular dysplasia." "The first symptom of that is sudden death." "He was a vegetarian." "He was a runner." "He was in perfect health." "And he was dead at 45, just like that." "And it's been four years." "But..." "I don't know." "It feels like it was yesterday." "And I think I'm actually more distraught now than I was then." "I mean, at least then I was in shock." "You know?" "And now the pain..." "Just never goes away." "So, I know what you're going through, Carl." "I'm sorry." "That's..." "It's okay." "I'm glad you came to the meeting." "I needed, uh..." "I don't know." "Lately, I can't..." "I don't know what's going on." "I just..." "I don't even know what's real." "I know." "I feel like that too." "Sometimes I don't know whether I'm coming or I'm going." "But I fight through it and I go to a meeting." "Because in the end, Carl, the only thing that's real is right now." "This, you know?" "Connecting with people." "I thank God for my job." "I thank God for these meetings." "Because without them," "I'm not sure what I would do." "Hmm, anyway." "I haven't even asked you where you're from." "Where are you from, Carl?" "Uh..." "I'm from yonkers." "It's in New York." "Oh." "Is it nice?" "No." "No?" "No." "It's..." "It's not nice." "It's..." "It's yonkers." "So are you..." "Here on business, or are you just passing through?" "I mean, I say that because hatticomb is the kind of place that you just go through, not to." "You know?" "You smell good." "Hmm." "Are you hungry?" "So, what do you do?" "I'm a security guard." "What else?" "What do you want to know?" "Well, what songs do you like?" "Um..." "Polka music." "Okay." "You laugh a lot." "I know." "I'm sorry." "Why are you sorry?" "You're beautiful, you know that?" "Thank you." "¶ Suzanne takes you down" "¶ to her place near the river ¶" "¶ you can hear the boats go by ¶" "¶ and you can spend the night beside her ¶" "¶ and you know that she's half crazy ¶" "¶ but that's why you want to be there ¶" "¶ and she feeds you tea and oranges ¶ hmm, w.T.?" "I thought you were recovering." "One vice at a time." "Sorry." "Your turn." "It's very strong." "You like it?" "No?" "Oh." "I do." "¶ And you want to travel with her ¶" "¶ and you want to travel blind ¶" "¶ and you know that she will trust you ¶" "¶ for you've touched her perfect body ¶" "¶ with your mind" "What?" "Thank you." "¶ When he walked upon the water ¶" "¶ and he spent a long time watching ¶" "¶ from his lonely wooden tower ¶" "¶ and when he knew for certain ¶" "¶ only drowning men could see him ¶" "¶ he said "all men will be sailors then ¶" "¶ until the sea shall free them" ¶" "¶ but he himself was broken ¶" "¶ long before the sky would open ¶" "¶ forsaken, almost human" "¶ he sank beneath your wisdom ¶" "Oh, yeah." "¶ And you want to travel with him ¶ here." "Kiss me." "¶ And you want to travel blind ¶" "¶ and you think maybe you'll trust him ¶ stop." "Just don't kiss me, okay?" "Just..." "Why?" "Because..." "Because I'm not your boyfriend." "All right?" "I don't like all that mushy shit." "I just want to fuck." "Okay, wait a minute." "Hey, hey." "Carl, goddamn it." "Come on." "Don't be so rough." "God..." "Don't call me that." ""Carl"?" "Jesus Christ." "What is wrong with you, Carl...?" "Fucking don't call me that!" "You don't fucking know me!" "Fucking little bitch." "Jesus Christ." "Real women don't get your nut off anymore." "I know the feeling." "There's poison in you there." "Its sex all backed up." "Infected." "Got to come out." "But you always letting' it build up." "No good." "Go ahead, boy." "Get it out." "Knock." "Knock on that door there." "Get in there, damn it." "Hi." "You know what I am?" "You know, you're supposed to make an appointment first." "But since we're neighbours," "I can squeeze you in." "Kiss me." "I" " I don't..." "You a cop, asshole?" "No." "Then give me a kiss or get out." "On my neck, not the mouth." "Cops ain't allowed to touch." "What's that?" "It's a donation." "What's your name?" "Carl." "I'm iris." "You don't want to suck 'em?" "Hmm?" "You can." "Go ahead." "Suck 'em." "Make me." "What the fuck is that, hmm?" "I said suck 'em." "You want me to make you?" "You want me to make you, hmm?" "I said suck 'em." "That's right." "Fucking suck 'em." "Mmm." "Are you sure you want this?" "Then take your clothes off and lay down." "I want to get a rubber." "Does that feel good, Carl?" "Drag him over here." "Get him!" " Hold him down!" "Make sure no one's coming." "Get off me!" "Let me go!" "Get his pants off." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Now stick it in there." "Shove it up his ass." "Ow!" "Ow!" "You like that, you fag?" "I know you like that, Carl." "Motherfuckers." "They ruined me." "Those fucking kids broke everything." "I know, Jimmy." "I know." "They broke me too." "Why didn't they fix me?" "They could've fixed me." "I was just a kid." "How could they not even try?" "Now it's too fucking late." "I know, Jimmy." "There ain't a soul alive on this miserable planet that don't know how to break this shit up, pound it into powder like they did to you and me." "Yeah." "We closer than kin that way." "What are you doing?" "Nice place to hide." "What are you doing in my house?" "Yeah, you know, I think that's really sick too." "It's time that you taught that sermon." "Go down by the pool..." "There's poison in there." "He is such a pig." "Um, I know that we were both a little high." "And sometimes people get weird." "You know, I just wanted to say that if I make you feel uncomfortable, or if I came on too strong..." "I'm sorry." "I guess I" "I know that my sense of hospitality just get away from me." "But it's just because I really like you." "You're disgusting." "Betsy, are you okay?" "Hey, sweetie." "It's aunt vee." "I just wanted to be the first person to wish you a Happy Birthday." "Night-night." "Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't be there today, but I'm coming up to visit you this weekend." "And we can go to six flags, okay?" "I love you, cookie." "Have a great day." "Love you." "Bye." "Man, over record:" "Lord of our far-flung battle line." "Beneath whose awful hand we hold dominion over palm and pine." "Lord, God of hosts, be with us yet lest we forget, lest we forget." "The tumult and the shouting dies." "The captains and the kings..." "Whew." "Is it cold enough in here, sweetie, or you want me to turn it down some more?" "Damn Santa Ana's got so hot today, huh?" "No, this is fine." "I guess we don't want it too cool, do we?" "No, we don't." "Why don't you turn over for me, baby." "Back massage on my clients' backs first." "Yeah." "You got a nice one." "You work out." "Yeah, a little." "Yeah?" "Yeah?" "Does that feel good?" "Oh, yes." "Yeah, relax." "That's really nice." "Oh, my God!" "Get out!" "You're a fag!" "You're a fag!" "You think I'm a fag?" "Huh?" "You think I fucking like that shit?" "You disgust me!" "Oh!" "Fucking whore!" "Sick." "I fucking hate it!" "Fucking whore!" "Fucking bitch!" "Fuck you!" "You think it was an accident?" "Huh?" "Me ending up being roomed next door to you?" "It's no accident." "That's him." "That's God fucking with me again!" "I didn't ask for this shit!" "You made those kids do that to me." "Fuck you!" "This is what it's like to be a victim." "Well..." "You preached the sermon." "What'd it feel like?" "You only got about 40 seconds once you cut it." "I just close my eyes." "Ain't got to do nothing but be there." "I felt like an engine with a million Miles on it." "That's how it is, Jim." "That is the true telling of a thing like this." "We are getting breaking news from our affiliate in California." "We're going to correspondent Rachel marden in ventura county." "Rachel?" "Law enforcement have worked at bringing to justice a killer who has been preying on and murdering six transsexual prostitutes." "Police have begun a state-wide manhunt for this man:" "James tahna." "Police have searched the man's room, and they think they have the name of someone they are now calling a person of interest." "Police say they have witnesses who say they saw a man badly beat a prostitute at a nearby hotel and put her in the trunk of his..." "The grief tourist's moniker comes from the fact that the killer had left the bodies at the murder sites of other serial killers, even leaving behind a picture of the other killers as sort of a signature." "Well, the grief tourist seems to have struck again." "This spot, the church behind me, is significant because it was the site of what locals call the seventh-day adventist church massacre, which refers to a church which was burnt down by infamous mass murderer Carl marznap in 1968." "People, they-- they come here to see this." "Now people's gonna come here to see it, the spot where you..." "Come here to see me." "They going to come to the hotel room." "My hotel room." "The spot where you killed her." "The spot where I killed the whore." "And then they'll go to the spot where I worked." "And they're going to want to know everything about me." "All the bullshit's almost over, Jimmy." "You had no say about the way you was born." "But you got all the say about the way it's going to end." "Yeah." "And when they think of Jim tahna, they goin' to fear him." "Hey?" "They're not gonna think of the victim he was." "They're gonna think of the victims he made." "Yeah." "That's it, Jim." "That's it, Jim." "It's all over now." "Announcer, over radio:" "Time, weather and..." "We're talking this morning about this tahna guy they found out there in California." "I'm from yonkers." "I got kids here." "I got my family out here." "And I just wish I could have grabbed my..." "He was abused as a child." "I think it's very clear that tahna and marznap were both victims of abuse." "And this is what's possible when victims of abuse do not receive..." "Some people are looking at this as a hate crime." "Obviously it's a hate crime." "You know, he's hating somebody." "I mean, he's killing somebody." "If it's a hate crime, you know, whatever..." "It's very, very freaky being here." "It's like you can feel him." "His energy." "It's wild." "My hair's standing up." "I love it."