"Like silk." " Who are you?" " I'm Jane and I'm taking care of you." "Martha Jane Cannary." "You are him, ain't you?" "Real and truly." "If you ain't, you sure must've posed for all his pictures." "Glory be." "I done it." "Me, the saving grace of Wild Bill Hickok." "Seems to me, saving grace, I wouldn't have got shot in the first place... if it hadn't been for your hair tumbling down." "But you might have, and I was here in any case." "Got anything to drink on you?" " Mighty thirsty." " Yeah, I wouldn't wonder." "You been hotter than a pistol after a turkey shoot... but you'll be fine now, just a little crease up there." "This here's chicken soup." "Prairie chicken, but no use to be finicky." "I got some whiskey in my saddlebags." "That's for the outside, this is for the inside, so you slurp this down." "I got here a little late, didn't I?" "But I come in handy just the same." "Bet you are handy." "Drink your chicken soup." "I didn't just turn up, you know." "I heard these waddies down at the Majestic Saloon... talking how there was this plan to gun down Marshal Hickok." "They do keep coming on at me, don't they?" "Lately, I drove a supply wagon for the Army... till I took me a river-swim in the altogether... and some dumb Corporal spied me out and told the Colonel." "Look at that hawk, looks like he got a snake in his talons." "Ain't he something?" "I reckon the Army hadn't seen many like you." "So then they bundled me down to Fort Fetterman to be a laundress." "Can you beat it?" "A laundress." "Greedy one, aren't you?" "Wanting all of it, all at once." "The Army will hire me back someday for a scout, just like you and Cody." "I can track as good, shoot as good." "Well, or almost." "You just gotta keep out of them swimming holes." "Didn't you ever venture a guess somebody might take a peek?" "I wanted them to." "They gotta know I'm a female who can do anything a man can do and better." "Well, I wouldn't say... everything." "It'd be terrible sad... to go through life not knowing if you're... one or the other." "I'm a woman, Bill Hickok." "Don't you think different." "Maybe you are." "I want my money." "Here, take it." "Excuse me." "Are you a female?" "Ask Bill." "You are the James Butler Hickok, are you not, sir?" "Sure is." "Dallying with fancy women... when you're the idol of every young boy in America." "You owe it to them, sir, to keep yourself pure in heart and body." "Keep your britches on, Reverend." "I just handled the sale of our horses back there at that station, that's all." "Well, not really all." "You fancy woman, you." "We got enough trouble without you causing more." " You gents going to Abilene?" " No, St. Louis, ma'am." "We're going to the National Congregational Convention." "It's the first since the war." "I'm nominating Reverend Warren here for bishop." "Oh, Sipes." "We got us a party." "Keep going, driver!" "Come on, giddap." "Good gracious sakes alive, it's a regular talent, Little Miss Calamity." "Got him." "Didn't get them all." "You can get up now." " You all right?" " Yep, I reckon." "I got a cousin in East Fort Worth... guzzles about a quart of that every morning for breakfast... been blind for the last seven years and hasn't moved his hands and feet for 10." "Just made that up." "Rock of Ages, cleft for me" "Let me hide myself in Thee" "Let the water and the blood" "From Thy wounded side which flowed" "Be the sin the double cure" "Save from wrath and make me pure" "That preacher seems like he don't know enough to pound sand down a rat hole." "See Thee on Thy throne" "Rock of Ages, cleft for me" "Let me hide myself in Thee" "You reckon you could play that thing a little more joyful?" "Oh, it's hard to be a woman in the West" "Where the days and nights" "Will put you to the test" "And the dreams you say" "So seldom will come true" "Oh, what's a poor girl to do?" "Here, you can have a swig of this for starts." "Oh, it's hard to be..." "You should have respect for a lady." "A little while ago you were calling her a fancy woman, Reverend." "No." "Well, she stopped the horses." "You know, we could've all been killed if she hadn't stopped the horses." "That's true." "Honour demands your protection for this poor, helpless female." " That's true, too." " Oh, Lord." "Get up." "Sipes, get a Bible." "Any page will do." " Verily, verily..." " For the record, Sipes, for the record." "I, James Butler Hickok... do solemnly swear... promise..." " I do?" " Right." "I, Jane Cannary..." "That's me." "...promise to love, honour, and obey... this man." "Promise to love, honour... and what?" " Obey." " Obey." "Relax yourself." "He never even got to what I promise." "As long as you both shall live." "Kiss the bride." "Sign it, Sipes." "Sign it." "Two souls saved." "We've done our duty." "Your marriage lines, my dear." "Right there." ""Substitute page from a Holy Bible." ""United..." "Holy matrimony." ""Jane Cannary." "J.B. Hickok."" "Glory be." "I'm Mrs. Wild Bill Hickok." "Howdy." "Had a little trouble." "Help me unload, then help your driver." "Listen, you birds just better remember what we talked about last night." "One word to anybody about what happened... and you're not only going to have to settle with me... but that convention of yours is gonna find out their new bishop's a drunk... and you're two of the biggest damn fools this side of Fort Kearney." "Well, what about her?" "Now I'll have to think of something, won't I?" "Bill?" "Well, come on." "Well, say something." "It was your idea, you know." "Look at you." "Sure look good to me." "Gentle, you say?" "Well, I don't know if that's so good for that hotshot." " Are you teasing me?" " Would I tease you?" "He's beautiful." "No Colonel can turn you down now." "With that outfit and old Satan there, you can ride scout in anybody's army." "Looks like you got yourself a deal, Walter." "What do you say?" "$50." "Hold on a minute." "Thought you liked that animal." "You wanna be shucking me, is all." "That's what it's all about, these fancy duds, the horse." "Not that I blame you." "We was all boozed up... them preachers, too." "But the thing is... we done it and I think we ought to give it a decent try." "I can't do that." "I'd be a good wife to you, Bill, I swear it." "Or I'd die trying." "That ain't it." "Ain't no town west of Indiana would hire me for Marshal, me having a wife... having you to grab so as my hands would be tied." "I can take care of myself, Bill." "Well, truth is I was fixing to have me drive freight for a while... and get a room in a boarding house, where friends could come to call." "I mean, you could come anytime you wanted to." "Anytime... if you wanted to." "You'd do it like that, wouldn't you?" "Well, why not?" "I mean, we do get along." "Yeah, I reckon we do." "Deal?" "Touch flesh." "Do I get to keep Satan?" "A deal's a deal." "Hang in there, Martha Jane." "All right, pick him!" "Hang in there, darling." "Come on, stay on there." "You got it, Martha." "Are you all right?" "Hell, I was doing great." "Yeah, I could see that." "What was it you were doing?" "Practicing." "Usually out to Seely's Mill, but I was waiting on a load for my next haul, so..." " I meant it for a surprise." " Surprise?" "Me in a teensy skirt like that circus lady we saw a while back..." "Agnes What's-Her-Name, that you called so high-class?" "Lake." "Agnes Lake." "Well, I don't have me any yellow curls... but my act will be better than hers any day." "You'll see." "You know, we still got an ordinance here, no gunplay within the city limits." "Gonna put me in jail?" "Might be kind of convenient." "Might at that." "You owe me a hat." "Calam, your wagon is loaded." " When you due back?" " Couple, three days." " Get yourself another driver, Cyrus." " Sure thing, Marshal." "Hey, I can't just up and leave." "Sure you can." "Bill Cody's in town." "Get yourself all dolled up, and I'll be back and get you later." "He does love me." "He does." "Bill?" "If you mean the Marshal, he's over to Kate's as usual." "Can't talk." "Got some business coming by." "Damn that Mamie!" "Tell you something, Jane." "You gotta give them what they want, never mind what you want." "Patty." "Miss Cannary doesn't enjoy oysters?" "I rather doubt it." "Look at them." "Tell you what." "When we're done here..." "I'll go fetch Jane and we'll meet you back at the hotel." "Bill, look, I gave you my proposition, now I need your answer." " You really think I could do it?" " Hell, yes, you can do it." "I mean, haven't we always been showmen?" "That's what that is, more and more, and you know it." "Now, I need you." "I didn't figure there'd be any problem on getting you to give up the law." "I just never counted on this woman." "Set them up, Kate." "Calamity Jane's here and the drinks are on me." "Well, look there." "If it ain't the famous Buffalo Bill Cody sitting right here in Abilene." " That's Martha Jane, Colonel." " Martha Jane Cannary." " Pleased to meet you." " Nice to meet you." "What happened to you?" "Look like some painted harlot." "Well, how do you like our fair city, Colonel?" "The gentlemen are busy." "I think you ought to go." "Don't you tell me what I ought to do, Mamie." "Poor little thing... she needs help." "You better go cool down." "Looks like your chain got broke." "I shamed you and myself." "I hate her." "If I were you, I wouldn't bother myself... 'cause right now she's nursing a shiner about as big as a good-sized cow pattie." "I just wanted to show you... that I can be pretty, too." "I decided to turn in my badge, Jane." "That's about the best news I ever heard." "And you don't even know the reason I'm so happy." "I'm going with Bill Cody." "He's putting together a travelling show, and he wants me in it." "Well, me and Satan, we're all set up for that, Bill." "You haven't seen half my trick riding." "Well, I couldn't do it for too long, maybe." "It's playacting." "Scouts of the Prairie or something like that." "You see, times are running out for me and Cody." "I don't understand, you gotta make me understand." "I feel like I'm standing in a puddle of sand... and it's all just... kind of drifting away." "The last thing you need is for me... to pull you down with me." "All them words." "That's all they is:" "Words." "It's me, I know it, being jealous and making a fuss all the time." "I won't be like that no more, Bill, I promise." "I won't do it." "I wish it were that simple." "Bill, let's get us a ranch." "We could have a family." "That's a pretty idea." "I don't think I'd be much account at that, darling... putting down roots and ranching." "Oh, God." "Afraid they'd smother me." "And you, too, in the end." "Pay me no mind." "I can take care of myself." "It's just something new to do." "Take care of yourself, now, Martha Jane." "Who knows, I might be up there... panning some of that yellow stuff myself before you know it." "Thank you, Will." "All right." "Oh, Lord." "Let it be all right." "Martha Jane." "Something wrong, Mr. Lull?" "Hard to tell, Captain O'Neill, what with the Sioux... being all stirred up over the gold Custer found up in these hills." "Oh, Lord." "Come on, yes, come here, sweet." "She's had it all on her lonesome." "Why, that baby is half-starved." "It's no wonder." "She's half-dead." "Who are you?" "Well, child, you come back to us." "I'm just old Nell Banders." "Mr. Will fetched me to see to you... after him and that fancy hunting party found you, weeks ago now." " My baby." " She's fine." "Finer than you, Miss." "You don't remember, do you?" "Prettiest little girl you ever saw." "My Janey... my little Janey." "When I was buying supplies in Benson's Landing... them English folks, the ship Captain and his lady... they looked after your baby for me over to the hotel." "I swear you got no sense at all." "Come on." "Where's Janey?" "Mr. Will, he bring her out later with the ship's..." "Come..." "He bring her out later." "Come on." "I don't want to." "Not up from birthing a month." "That mountain's fever's bad, girl." "You want to kill yourself?" "I want to get back on my feet again." "You been here too long already." "I gotta take care of my little girl." "Could have let that man of yours know." "He's gone from me." "Gone." "Got something to tell you, Miss." "Mrs. O'Neill, a fine woman, Miss." "She wanted to come up herself for this... but the Captain said better I do it... us being two of a kind, you and me... in spite of my colour." "He wants it put fair to you." "They been married some while, you see... without no babies." "Honey, they longing for your little babe to belong to them." "They know about your trials and they're sorried by it." "They willing to pay you, and give her all..." "Pay?" "I wouldn't no more sell my little Janey..." "Figure her for a woods colt, don't they?" "That's what everybody figures." "Well, it ain't true." "You just look here." "See?" "My little Janey's all legal." "That's Wild Bill Hickok's girl and she's all legal." "I can't read it." "But I do believe you." "She's gonna grow up a bastard anyway 'cause nobody else will believe it." "Sweet little Janey... what your daddy would have called you." "She's to be called Jean Irene O'Neill now." "Take the child, Helen." "God help you." "I will love her." "Won't you please, please accept this?" "Changing her name?" "You promised I'd get to see her again." "Well, of course, perhaps, one day." "You have our address in England, Miss Cannary... and I'll write to you and let you know how she's getting on." "You do right by her." "You're a strong woman." "There'll come a time... when your daughter will want to know about her natural mother." "You should write about your life, a journal, perhaps." "It's for her when she's grown." "That reading's all right... but I don't know much about writing." "We'd better get going, folks, or we'll miss the train in Omaha." "At least take half of this... to carry you wherever you choose to go." "Please." "You have my admiration... and my gratitude." "Right on time, huh?" " Any Injun trouble, Calam?" " No." " She's crazy." " That's what the Injuns think... and they got a fine respect for fools and crazies." "Can I buy you a brew?" "Hey, bullwhacker, quit it, you hear?" "No way to treat your animals." "Keep that whip off their heads like you're supposed..." "Now just pick my hat up... dust it off, and hand it back to me real polite-like, I'll be mighty obliged." "And if you don't..." "I'll fill you so full of holes that carcass of yours won't even shed rain." "Mighty thoughtful of you." "Thank you." " What's your name?" " Jack." "Well, now, Jack, how long since you've had your belly full?" "You finished?" "Sure wish I'd come along that far." "Take this word "pleasure," for instance." "P-L-E-A." "Now wouldn't you think to spell it... with an "A" or an "A-Y," maybe?" "Only makes sense." "Never mind." "My Janey won't be reading what I write for years." "Martha Jane?" "Hello, Will." "Me and my new partner, Charlie Burke..." "You gotta meet him, Martha Jane." "All he ever talks about is wanting to meet you." "We was over at the Number Ten, lifting a couple and..." "Sure, Will, why not?" "School's out, Jackie." "Be back before dark, you hear?" "Bill's there." "He's in from Cheyenne." "Oh, my." " So what're we standing here for?" " Damn it, you gotta know." "Word is that he's married to that showgirl, Agnes Lake." "I'm sorry." "But he can't be." "I got our wedding lines." "Martha Jane, cool down now, will you?" "Gonna tell him." "I'm gonna tell him about Janey." "If he wants roots, he's got plenty with me." "He married me first." "Oh, Will." "I'm a fool for him." "I know it." "I always have been." "Thing is, I'd give plumb anything to have him and Janey back." "I'm a mess." "What happened here?" "What happened?" "Let me in there." "What?" "Oh, my God!" "What's he doing in that chair?" "Why didn't he sit with his back to the wall?" "Oh, God." "No." "Oh, my Bill." "My Bill." "The sands run out on you at last now, didn't they?" "Howdy." "Where are they?" "Where are the passengers?" "They ain't there?" "Where are they?" "I must have forgotten them back at Twelve Mile Station." "Maybe it was Nine Mile." "I don't remember." "You drunken sot." "You're fired." "Come on, Martha Jane." "Come on now." "Martha Jane." "Will." "Only one called me Martha Jane since my daddy died." " Oh, God." " Take her, Charlie." "Well, baby face..." ""Dear Janey..." ""You are such a big girl now." ""I felt real bad over Helen's death." ""Seems you are doomed never to have a mother to live with." ""My ink has been froze so many times..."" "Here you are, Mr. Burke." ""...it is almost spoiled."" "Money's practically falling out of their pockets." "What, all that just for taking them into town?" "Here, build your stake for tonight." "Seems your winning streak for the gandy dancers... has reached their rich ears." "They can't wait to take Calamity Jane at poker." "Charlie." "Here, brought you a letter, too." "From Captain O'Neill." "Glory be." "They're here in America." "They're living here, him and my Janey, in Richmond, Virginia." "It's a sign, Charlie Burke, it's a sign!" "Now I gotta win tonight." "I'm going there, gonna see my baby." "Hell, I might not come back at all." "Nothing for me here." "I am." "Why, Charlie Burke." "I know it wouldn't be like with Hickok." "No, of course not." "Nothing would." "Look after Satan while I'm gone, will you, you and Will?" "If I don't come back, he's yours." "Sure." "Yeah, I was at the Little Bighorn." "Injun scout." "That General Custer... you know, the Sioux washed him, laid him out, left him all of a piece... treated him better than anybody else got treated." "Of course, you can't blame the Injuns." "Just getting even after all them massacres." "But you should have seen us." "Arms and legs everywhere." "Sioux sure had theirselves a high old time." "There was one body:" "There was a hand here, a foot over there... head rolled off right into a holler... and sticking right up out of the grass." "Thank you." "Jane." "We've been waiting for you." "Come on." "Ain't all that heavy 'cause I didn't know how long..." "I mean..." "Hurry." "Is there one like yours, Miss Calamity?" "How did you come to know that funny name I've got?" "I know all about you and Deadwood Dick and the Indians." "Daddy reads me stories." "Stories." "About me?" "Why are you crying?" "Because you remind me of a little girl I once knew... that sailed away from me in a big ship and never come back to me." "Daddy and I sail on big ships lots of times." "You do?" " Once we went to China." " China?" "My heavens." "You must have seen lots of wonderful sights... fine little girls like yourself." "No, they were so hungry." " They was?" " Yes." "Mammy Ross and I gave them money." "Sweet lamb." " Where's your mother, darling?" " She died." "I see." "Does this open?" "Now, there's a picture of a very famous man... named Wild Bill Hickok." "What a funny name." "He isn't handsome like my daddy." "You're just about the prettiest thing I ever did see." "You're full of kindness, my precious one." "Like her mother." "I think it's time for bed, Jean." "Goodnight, Miss Calamity." "Sweet dreams." "For Janey's education." "Jean's." "I know you don't need it." "How could you?" "But there might come a time, and I want to." "Sure must miss your wife." "I know you do, and I don't mean that I could take her place or..." "There's nothing holding me in the West no more." "And, well, Janey needs a mama." "I don't mean I'd shame you none... but I thought, what I really thought, when I wasn't just dreaming... was I could take a room in a boarding house." "I could just be here for Janey." "For you, too, if you wanted." "You couldn't shame me if you tried." "You have to believe that." "The thing is that Mrs. Ross and Jean sail with me now... so we're never here." "I never been in a boat." "Jean means everything... everything to me." "Don't fret yourself now." "I ain't never reneged on a deal in my life." "Besides, I couldn't give her all this, could I?" "For Janey, when she's growed." "Tell her for me:" "This one looks like my horse." "His name's Satan." "See you soon!" "Bye." "Jane!" "Jane Cannary!" "Jane, where are you?" "Jane Cannary, you get out here right now!" "Hush up." "You'll wake the dead." "Charlie." "What in thunder are you doing here, anyhow?" "I heard you was in this hellhole." "I damn near didn't believe it." "Just look at you." "What do you want with me, anyhow?" "Well, I come to marry you." "Your horse, Satan, he's outside." "So come on." "I can't right now." "Charlie, stop it!" "Charlie, stop it." "One of the girls." "She's dead... leaving only this little mite to show for it." "Want a drink?" "What I wanna do is to get you the hell out of here." "So come on." "Let me see Madam Feeley about her and the baby... and we'll see." "Hello, pal." "Took fine care of him, Charlie." "Meant what I said inside, Jane." "Odds ain't exactly great." "What I know about wifing you could stuff in a saddlebag." "Well, I can't help it." "Been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you... maybe even before." "Never say Calamity Jane won't try something new." "Ain't gonna be late for your own wedding, are you?" "Here." "Will Lull, you old fool." "Jane, let's get on with it and start celebrating." "I just hope he makes you happy, Martha Jane." "Watch what you're doing, Charlie." "You should caulk that trough like I told you." "I'll do it." "Been together a long time." "Got to part now." "You'll do better off on your own." "Go on, now." "Go on." "Go and die in peace." "If there's a heaven for horses, I know you'll be there." "Charlie, wake up, you hear?" "Come here, Jane." "I got something to say." "Why ain't you out tending to the stock?" "Why, those five old scrub cows can tend to themselves." "Come here." "That's all you got in your mind, ain't it?" "That, and lazing about the place." "I can't do it no more, Charlie." "Time's slipping away and there ain't nothing to show for it." "We're a ruin." "Everything is." "I'm leaving." "You can't just up and leave." "Sure can, and you'll be glad of it." "All this is smothering you, Charlie." "And me, too." "I knew it." "I knew it would right from the start." "You sell off them five cows... and you hightail it back to Texas where you come from." "You still got plenty of good years." "Where are you going?" "Deadwood, maybe." "Yeah, sure." "Hickok's there." "Six feet under." "Had me some good times in Deadwood once." "Martha Jane." "I said I could do it." "Where's my part?" "Aren't you never gonna... act like the good girl that you are, Martha Jane?" "I sure hope not, baby face." "I tried it once, remember?" " Thank you, Jane." " All right." "Thank you very much." "We got company." "You're a disgrace to Deadwood, Jane Burke." "We're here to see that you leave for good." "Puss-gutted bunch of hypocrites." "Think I'm bound for hell, do you?" "I delivered your grandkid, May Burton... saved your boy from cholera, Annie MacDougal." "As for you, Sarah Beasley, I was the one who found a home... for that little bastard your girl had." " I'm gonna retire those hoops." " No." "I've tidied up my..." "Help me." "My ear..." " You wanna cut my hair off?" " Yeah." "Get off of me!" "Not my hair!" "All right." "All right." "Who else wants a scalping?" "Well, I really did it this time." "Yeah." "Female bite's worse than a dog." "Damn!" "You couldn't hardly stand here and let them cut your hair off." "But they wouldn't have come busting for a fight if I hadn't..." "Oh, Will, they'll close you down." "They'll go to the City Council, you know it, if I don't get out." "Why don't they leave me to go to hell my own way?" "Lordy, what do I do next?" "Well, that lady over there?" "She's off the train this morning." "She's asking about you." "My God." "Says she's come all the way from New York... to redeem you from sin." "So help me... she wants to put you in a big show back East." "That'll do the trick." "Hallelujah, saved at last." "...when I joined Custer that I donned the uniform of a soldier." "I soon came to be perfectly at home in men's clothes." "This here's my pamphlet, my life story." "Wrote it down myself." "It's only 10 cents." "My name is Calamity Jane, Heroine of the Plain." "I have borne that name up to the present time." "Wrap up nice and warm, folks." "Genuine Amish wool from Pennsylvania." "I was then ordered to the Black Hills... where the Sioux Injuns controlled the territory, and the government..." "Step right up, ladies and gentlemen... to see the finest display of wonders at the Pan-American Exposition." "See Little Ella." "She weighs in at 540 pounds, avoirdupois." "Step right up!" "See Prince Abdul eat white-hot fire." "Step right up, folks... and see Esmeralda fondle her snakes." "The finest display of wonders at the Pan-American Exposition." "And hear the real Calamity Jane tell you her true adventures... and take home a souvenir of all she tells you... writ by her very own self." "Tell them a sample, Calamity." "My name is Martha Cannary... born Princeton, Missouri..." "May 1, 1852." " Mother and father..." " Fine, Calamity." "We don't wanna give it all away free, now, do we?" "Oh, she ain't the real Calamity Jane." "Just look at her." "What did you say?" "Hey, you!" "Am, too, the real Calamity Jane." "Howling coyote from Bitter Creek." "Further up you go, the bitterer it gets!" "Where's that lying varmint?" "Step right up, folks." "Just a taste of what's in store for you inside, folks." "Tickets go on sale in just a minute." "Ten cents, one thin dime." "Step right up and see Calamity Jane... and see Esmeralda fondle her snakes... and Prince Abdul swallow white-hot fire." "Step right up." "Tickets go on sale in just a minute." "Ten cents, one-tenth of a dollar... ten cents will get you one ticket into the show." "See the greatest..." "The Wild West show is about to commence." "Come and see the amazing acrobats." "But I want to go see her." "She probably won't make it through the show, Miss O'Neill." " Talk is, she's drinking." " I don't care." "I want to see her." "I'll meet you at the Indian Pavilion." "There's no stopping Jean sometimes." "She'll be safe enough." "Miss Calamity." "Excuse me for just walking in, but I so wanted to meet you again." " Janey." " Jean." "Jean O'Neill." "I suppose you won't possibly remember, but..." " Are you all right?" " Yeah, fine." "I'm finer than ever in my whole life." "You remember that night in Richmond?" "You found Satan for me, and I still have that little horse." "Did the little girl who sailed away ever come back to you?" "Yeah." "Yeah, she sure did." "I never thought you'd see me like this." "No, but you look splendid." "I know." "We're giving a reception at the hotel..." "Father and I, for Colonel Cody, and you must come." " He'll be there, Buffalo Bill?" " Of course." "He and his Wild West Company... have sailed with Father to Europe several times." "We're here at the Exposition by his urging." "Well, you don't know how the Captain, your father..." "I don't know how he'd like me barging in." "It does not matter, Calamity." "You are my friend and that's that." "We are friends, aren't we?" "Well, then, Father has nothing to say about it." "Little darling, you're going your own way, sure enough." "Be warned, I did it, starting at 15, and I made a lot of mistakes." "Damn it, Calamity, they're waiting." "Oh, I beg your pardon, Miss." "Get a move on." "Do the show, and I'll be back." "One of them mistakes was worth every bit of the cost." "Calam." "Just might tell you about it later." "Everyone, an honoured guest has arrived." "Calamity Jane herself." "Jane?" " This all right with you?" " It's very much all right." "Mrs. Gladwell, Mrs. Brown, this is Mrs. Burke." "We've read all about you." "Bret Harte, Ned Buckline's books." "Yes, and other dime novels." " Deadwood Dick?" " Oh, Deadwood Dick." "Can't say I recollect him, no." "Thank you." "They're stories about you." "As if you didn't know." "Adventures." "You are famous, Miss Burke, around the world." "Well, I don't know about around the world." "Could say I have something of a reputation back home." "The time is long past for two old friends to have a talk." "So if you'll excuse us." "Excuse me." " Shaming you, ain't I?" " Quite the opposite." "And Jean adores you." "I took you to one side only to ask you to stay... after the others have gone." "A quiet supper, just the three of us." "Would you like to tell her... who she really is?" "Oh, my." "I'll stay." "Enough's enough, Jim." "I'm an old friend, too." "Colonel." "You are famous, Jane, in truth." "The Continent would pay a good deal to see you... sober." "I have a new European tour scheduled for my Wild West next year." "I came up here to recruit talent." "Interested?" "You should have asked in Abilene." "If you had looked then like you look tonight..." "I would have had to." "Bill, he never would've left." "They moved him up to the cemetery on Mount Mariah." "Deadwood did it, not that widow of his." "She didn't even come to the funeral." "Lot of dreams gone by, Colonel." "I'd still like to be buried next to my Bill." "Mrs. Burke, might I..." " Would you give me your autograph?" " My autograph?" "How about that?" "Right?" " Right here?" " Yes." "My husband keeps threatening to give up everything... and homestead in Wyoming or somewhere." "Heavens, Mary Elizabeth." "What a dreadful aspect." "Why, think how hardened you'd become." "Well, it certainly would harden the constitution... of a young lady brought up in Buffalo." "One does as one must, Mrs. Gladwell." "Continue, please, Mrs. Burke." "Well, I'll tell you." "I figure it's the same here or out there for us ladies." "Either you end up washing a man's drawers... or you get paid for pulling them down." "Excuse me, ladies." "Excuse me." "Oh, that was so funny." "There's something I've been wanting you to know." " Seems like forever and ever..." " I, too, Calamity." "It's as if tonight were a dream come true." "You're everything I dreamt you were." "I grew up wanting to be like you." "All the things I'd heard about you." "Sometimes dreams, well, they ain't always real." "Not this time." "You're independent, so strong." "What a life you must have had, but you're still true to yourself... as with those silly women or anything else, I'd wager." "You won't take the easy way, and I admire that more than anything." "Well, I've said my piece." "Now, what did you want to say to me?" "Just you made me feel like tonight is my night..." " and I wanna thank you." " I'm glad." "Calamity?" "Calamity, you can't leave." "Father and I..." "Sometimes what's real beats dreams all to hell... and you know it." "And listen to me good, Jean Irene O'Neill." "I want you should learn easier than I did." "A woman going her own way... what she gets is a hard trade every day of her life." "And if she ends up with some self-respect come sunset... she's damn lucky." "'Cause if you got that, little darling... can't nobody say you didn't beat them all." "Jean, let her go." "It's what she wants." "Calamity Jane got her wish:" "She was buried next to Wild Bill Hickok." "It was said of her then she'd done her damnedest... and no man alive ever accomplished more." "Subripped from original DVD by:" "Tantico (Croatia) December 2009"