"Captain's log, stardate 47254.1." "A delegation of the Cairn have come on board." "This telepathic species has no concept of spoken language." "And is being instructed in its use by an old friend." "I don't know what they'd have done!" "First I had to learn how they communicate." "An exhausting process." " It must be." " Different from Betazed telepathy." "We transmit words." "With the Cairn, it's images, a flood of them all at the same time." "It's overwhelming!" "I can imagine." "Actually, it's very efficient." "If two Cairn had this conversation, it would have been over minutes ago." "Really?" "They know they'll need to communicate verbally if they join the Federation." "Do me a favour." "Introduce yourself to one of them." "Have a conversation." "They need the practice." "I'd be happy to." "It's called a visor." "It enables me to see." "Like my vocal enhancer." "It helps me make sounds." "I see you've already met my star pupil." "Hedril's picked up spoken language faster than the others." "Children often learn languages more easily than adults." "Deanna was good at languages when she was little." "Where is she?" "Well, she must be here somewhere." "Hedril, darling, I..." "What?" "Go find your father, dear." "I want to talk to him." "Mrs Troi?" "I'm just a little tired." "This constant telepathy with the Cairn..." "I'm fine, really." "Aren't you going to mingle, Mr Woof?" "I do not care for telepaths." "They make me uneasy." "Don't worry." "The Cairn couldn't read your thoughts even if they wanted to." "Your brain isn't sophisticated enough." "Neither is yours, dear." "They could only communicate with other telepaths." "Have either of you seen Deanna?" "She was working, but said she would be..." "Speak of the devil." "Sorry, I lost track of time." "Deanna, come with me." "I want you to meet the senior diplomat of the Cairn delegation." "Maques, this is the beautiful daughter I told you about, Deanna." "Pleased to..." "Hello." "Hello." "Pleased to meet you." "Ah, yes." "That is it." "Pleased to meet you, Deanna." "Good." "I'll just let you young people chat." "Well, Maques, what do you think of the Enterprise?" "It is beautiful." "Comfortable, also." "I'm glad you think so." "There is another word that describes it." "But I cannot remember." "You've learned a lot in a very short time." "It won't be long before your words do justice to your thoughts." "Your mother told me of your need." "Need?" "A moment." "Husband." "You need a husband." "I need a wife." "**Deanna!" "Good morning." " So, what did you think of Maques?" " Why did you do that?" " You embarrassed both of us." " He's really very sweet." "And lonely, poor man." "A widower, raising a child alone." " Mother, don't start." " It's time for you to settle down." "If your father were alive, I'm sure he'd say the same thing." "Deck eight." "But you'll do exactly what you want." "Just like always." "Mother, stop it!" "Are you coming?" "What's wrong?" "You are so precious to me." "You're all I've got." "If something happened to you, what would I do?" "Nothing's going to happen to me." "You'd better go." "My first appointment isn't for a few minutes." "Let's talk." "No, I'm fine." "I'm tired from working with the Cairn." "It's making me emotional." "Are you sure?" "Go on." "I'll see you later." "Go on." "Maques." "I must apologise for yesterday." " You don't have to." " My words, they were confused." "It wasn't your fault." "Please." "My mother misled you." "Not in everything." "She has an image of you in her mind." "She shared it with me." "You are even more beautiful." "The way my people communicate, it is direct." "Nothing is hidden." "Yes?" "Your mother is the first to learn our telepathy." "You've never had telepathy with someone who wasn't Cairn?" "No." "To communicate with her is very different." "In what way?" "Always there is a part of her that..." "A part of her that is dark." "Dark?" "A part of her that cannot be seen." "Do you understand?" "I'm not sure." "Have you asked my mother about this?" "She called it..." "A moment." "...privacy." "Of course." "You said, among the Cairn, nothing is hidden." "We value honesty, but we don't always share everything we think and feel." "This is privacy?" "Yes." " It is normal?" " For us, yes." "If this is your way I am relieved." "It is our "way"." "I will leave now." "I'm glad you stopped by." "I'm glad to have stopped also." "I was all set for another argument, but suddenly she just fell apart." "She's under stress." "She's preparing the Cairn to meet the Federation." "It's more than that." "I'm sensing some very erratic emotions from her." "Even her clothes are unusual." "They're so subdued." "Maybe you need to talk with her." "Commander!" "Take your hands off her!" " Mrs Troi..." " Don't "Mrs Troi" me!" "Leave her alone." "If it weren't for you, she'd be married by now." " That's enough!" " I am warning you!" "Stay away from my daughter!" "You're coming with me." "I don't know what got into me." "Please, tell Will how sorry I am." "You're fine." "But your psilosynine levels are low." "Psilo what?" "It's a neurotransmitter involved in telepathy." "It's been depleted by your work." "You have to avoid telepathy for a while." " I can't." " Why?" "We only have three days left and the Cairn have so much to learn." "Lwaxana, I'm sorry, but you have to take some time and rest." "Maybe I can help with the Cairn." "No." "You're only half Betazoid, dear." "And you have no experience with their form of telepathy." "Then I won't use telepathy." "We'll work verbally." "I suppose we could do that." "And if they don't understand, I'll explain telepathically." "No." "You'll work verbally, too." "The point is for you to get some rest, Mother." "It'll do them good to figure things out with words." "I suppose you're right." "This is the ship's arboretum." " "Arbor" means tree." " Very good, Hedril." "People come here to relax, enjoy themselves in a natural setting." ""Flowers of all hue, and without thorn the rose."" "It's an old Earth poem by John Milton." "Please, what is a poem?" "Poetry is an art form that uses words put together in new and unexpected ways, sometimes in rhyme." "Milton was speculating that, in heaven, roses wouldn't have thorns." "Heaven?" "Heaven is..." "Well, it's..." "How can I put it?" "Yes, I see." "Thank you." "Heaven." "You're supposed to be avoiding telepathy." " I'm only trying to help, dear." " You don't look well." "I'm just tired." "Maybe I'll sit down." "Don't worry." "She'll be fine." "You'll find this interesting." "It's a jewel plant from Folnar III." "The plant secretes a resin which is collected in the blossom." "By the time the bloom fades, the resin has hardened into a beautiful gem." "Mother!" "Troi to sickbay." "Medical emergency in the arboretum." "She's not responding to cortical stimulation." "I'm not sure what else I can do." "I don't understand." "She was fine yesterday." "It's so strange." "It's almost as if her brain has shut down." " Is there a physiological cause?" " I'm running a subneural scan." "I can see no tissue damage, no neurochemical imbalance, no infection, nothing." "Yet her neural activity is almost non-existent." "Except in the paracortex." "Activity there is almost off the scale." "The paracortex is the Betazoid telepathic lobe." "She communicated with Maques just before she fell." "Might there be side effects of Cairn telepathy we're unaware of?" "It's a possibility." "I think it's time that you and I had a talk with Maques." "I am very apologetic for what has happened to your mother." "Is it possible that your telepathic communications with Mrs Troi harmed her in some way?" "No." "I tried to to explain before." "Bad thoughts, they hurt her." "What thoughts?" "Take your time." "Inside her, the dark place." "I don't understand." "She is..." "What are the words?" "I don't have the words." "Counsellor?" "Stop it!" "It's alright." "I'm fine." "He was just trying to communicate with me telepathically." "Do you understand now?" "I'm not sure." "He communicated so much to me that, at first, it was just a jumble." " Have you sorted any of it out?" " I think so." "During telepathic contact with my mother," "Maques sensed what he calls "a dark place"." "He tried to tell me about it before, in my office, and I misunderstood." "I thought he was talking about thoughts my mother was keeping private, but he meant something was happening in her metaconscious mind." " Metaconscious?" " It's part of the Betazoid psyche, a filtering mechanism that protects us from psychic trauma." "Is Maques suggesting your mother's metaconscious is damaged?" "He feels that whatever is wrong with her is centred there." "If he's right, she may have suffered a trauma that her metaconscious can't tolerate." "Has she mentioned anything traumatic that happened to her lately?" "No, nothing." "Maques could be wrong about this." "There's a chance a subneural scan might pinpoint a physiological cause for her condition, something I might be able to treat." "The results won't be in until morning." "We should all try and get some rest." "I'd like to stay here with her." "I'm going to try and contact her telepathically." "Alright." "Mother, can you hear me?" "Please come back to me." "Please." " Help me." " Mother?" " Help me!" " How?" "How can I help you?" "Tell me, Mother." "Please!" "Computer, lights." "What are you doing?" "!" "Maques, what were you doing in sickbay?" "Helping." "Trying to help Lwaxana." "How?" "What were you trying to do?" "I was..." "She was..." " You, Deanna." "Maybe you." " Yes?" "You must..." " How can I explain?" " Tell me telepathically." "Maques believes my mother's psyche has collapsed in on itself, that she has retreated into her metaconscious mind." " Was he trying to contact her?" " Yes." "He was able to access images generated by her metaconscious but could make no sense of them." "I did not understand." "He saw faces he didn't know and events he couldn't interpret." "If we can decipher the images, we might be able to determine if her condition was trauma induced." "Maques feels he can provide a telepathic bridge, so I can access my mother's metaconscious." "If he can, I may find out what happened to her." "If you succeed, can you use that to help your mother?" "I'm not sure, but I do know part of her wants to be helped." "When I tried to contact her, I heard a voice calling out to me." "If her psyche has collapsed in on itself, could accessing her mind pose any danger to you?" "There's no way to know." "I'd like to try." "I'll be monitoring her throughout the procedure." "If anything goes wrong, Maques can break the telepathic link." "Your mother, part of her is very frightened." "She may resist you." "I understand." " Help me!" " Mother?" "Help me!" "Counsellor?" " Can you hear me?" " Captain?" "Dr Crusher's concerned that your paracortical readings are erratic." "Are you talking from sickbay?" "Yes." "Sever your connection to your mother." " Why don't you ask Maques to do it?" " I'm asking you." "That is an order, Counsellor." "You're not Capt Picard." "Leave me alone, please." "This isn't real." "None of this is real." "Deanna!" "Daddy?" "Look at you!" "You've become a beautiful woman." "Don't do this." "I'm sorry I had to go away when you were so little." "I didn't want to." "You're not my father." "You're part of my mother's mind." "What is this place?" "This is our house near Lake EI'nar on Betazed." "We used to live here." "Deanna, let's not waste this chance." "I want to hear everything about you." "Did I live here?" "For a while when you were a baby." "You were such a beautiful baby." "Your mother and I loved you so much." "I don't remember these toys." "I bet you don't remember me singing you to sleep at night, but I did." "I do remember." "I always felt safe when you sang to me." "There was one song you always asked me to sing." "You couldn't sleep unless you heard it." " Down in the Valley." " Yes." "Down in the valley" "Valley so low" "Hang your head over" "Hear the wind blow" "No, you're just trying to keep me here." "Keep me from finding something." "Your mother doesn't want to see you." "I have to help her." "If you want to help her, leave." "Let her have peace." "She called out to me." "She does want me to help." "Stay with me, just a little while." "Deanna, it's been so long." "We'll never have this chance again." "Goodbye, Daddy." "Hedril." "Mother." "Get away from her!" "No!" "I asked your father to bring you here because I want to talk to you." " You know Lwaxana's sick, don't you?" " Yes." "Is it my fault?" "No." "Not at all." "But I believe she's been thinking about you." "Do you know why?" "I make her sad." " Why do you say that?" " Because it's true." "Do you have any idea why Hedril would make my mother sad?" "No." "Well, thank you for talking to us." "I'll see you later." "Counsellor, I hope your mother gets better." "Thank you, Hedril." "So do I." "I just don't understand how she fits into all this." "I haven't found a physiological problem with your mother." "Maybe Maques was right." "Your mother's condition was precipitated by a traumatic event." "Could this event have involved Hedril?" "I doubt it." "My mother never mentioned her." "Does your mother keep personal logs or a journal?" "Yes, she does." "I'll contact Mr Homn on Betazed and ask him to transmit a copy." "There may be some clues there." "Perhaps we are being too literal." "I have learned in my study of dream analysis that people who appear in a dream can represent aspects of the person dreaming." "That's right." "A child might represent vulnerability." "Hedril may depict a fragile part of my mother." "A part that she's protecting." "You said everything you encountered in her mind was some kind of barrier." "Yes." "You, the wolf, my father." "It was as though she were summoning all her defences to keep me away." "But keep me away from what?" "What is she protecting?" "Come in." "Counsellor." "Hello, Captain." "I've just come from sickbay." "Dr Crusher feels that your mother's condition is worsening." "Her neural foundations are getting weaker." " Have you had any luck here?" " No, nothing." "I went through her belongings, read her journal for the last five years." "Other than the fact that I'm not married yet, nothing bad seems to have happened." "Is this your father?" "Yes." "He had a kind face." "I remember when he died, my mother had to go through all his things and pack them away." "I was seven." "I remember thinking how mad he'd be when he saw what she'd done." "I didn't understand he wasn't coming back." "Your mother might still come out of this." "If we can't figure out what's wrong with her, Captain," "I don't think she will." "But I don't know what else to do." "I've talked with Mr Homn, who's known her for years." "I've checked her medical records," "I've made inquiries to the government on Betazed," "I've contacted her closest friends." "If she's been through a psychic trauma, there's no evidence of it." "You reviewed her journals for the past five years." " Maybe we should go further back." " That's a lot to review." "She's kept a journal since before she married." "Then let's start at the beginning." " First entry is stardate 30620.1." " That's the year they were married." "That's odd." "There's a seven-year gap." "It starts about a year after the wedding." "If I'm not mistaken, it ends a few months after your birth." "She's so diligent about her journal." "Why would she stop making entries?" "She didn't." "The files were deleted, by your mother, almost 30 years ago." "I don't understand any of this." "Captain, I have to go back inside my mother's mind." "It's the only way we'll ever get any answers." "Thank you." "Deanna, you understand if your paracortical readings get too high," "I'm going to tell Maques to sever the connection." "I know." " Hedril, be careful!" " Who is Hedril?" "Wait!" "I want to talk to you!" "Help me!" "Help me!" " Go." " Mother?" "Go away." "No." "I want to help you." "Why did you delete parts of your journal?" "Did something happen you don't want me to know about?" "Leave me alone, please!" "Who's Hedril, Mother?" "Why is she here?" "Is Hedril me as a little girl?" "No." "I'd never let anything happen to you." "Never." "Did you let something happen to someone?" "Was it here at EI'nar?" "You were just a baby." "Tell me." "Whatever it is, we can face it together." "I can't." "You can." "We can." "Help me." " Help me, Pappa." " Here." "Please don't make me go through this again." " Hold on." "Don't let him run off." " I won't." "Mommy, can we play by the water?" "No, Kestra, stay here with us." "Please?" "Kestra!" "You've made the baby cry." "No, don't cry, Deanna." "Don't cry." "Mommy's here." " Mommy, please?" " No, Kestra." " We're going to eat." " What's wrong, little one?" "Tell Mommy what's wrong." "Ian, she's teething." "Now, where's her ring?" "No." "I don't want to see this again." "I can't!" "What happened, Mother?" "What happened next?" "I don't remember." "You have to." "You can't hold it back." "It's killing you." "The dog got away." "She ran after him." "We didn't notice." "Why?" "Why did I look away?" "Why wasn't I paying attention?" "You have to forgive yourself, Mother." "You have to let it go." "How can I?" "I let her die!" "It was a tragedy, the worst thing that can happen to any parent." "I know you feel responsible, but it was an accident." "And what you're doing isn't fair to Kestra." "I saw a little girl who was sweet and happy." "She must have brought a great deal of joy to your lives." "Every morning, she woke up with a smile." "Isn't it better to remember her like that?" "I just found out I had a sister I never knew." "I'd like to learn what was good and joyous about her." "To celebrate her life, not mourn it." "How?" "How can I do that?" "Kestra was here a few moments ago." "Talk to her." "No." "No." "Do it, Mother." "Tell her how you feel." "I'll be here with you." "I'll help you." "Mommy!" "Kestra!" "My precious one." "I'm so sorry!" "I have to go now." "I know." "I remember the day I took this." "Mr Homn said he saved it in case someday you wanted to remember her." "I wish you could have known her, Deanna." "I wish you two could have grown up together." "Tell me about her." "I want to know everything."