"Oh!" "You're up." "Good morning." "What am I doing here?" "I picked you up from a bar on Union Square last night." "Apparently, you sampled a lot of their fancy scotches." "And... what-- what happened after that?" "I showed up to take you home, but then I remembered that it's very easy to choke on your own vomit, and you live alone, so I brought you here instead." "You slept... where?" "In your arms." "Relax, I'm kidding." "On the couch, downstairs." "Oh, great." "I mean, th-thanks." "So how are you feeling?" "Like, uh, like my tongue's wearing a sweater." "Could you please not do that?" "How did things go with Sofia?" "Sofia left... with her perfect boyfriend, who probably proposed to her with his perfect chin." "What?" "She wants a family, Betty." "She wants to settle down, drive a car with a backseat." "That doesn't sound so terrible." "It does when she doesn't see you as the guy she wants to do that with." "I'm not that guy, am I?" "I mean, maybe you could just stick to girls who love 2-seaters." "You never called back that one danish girl." "Don't try and fix this, Betty." "I lost her." "I'm not trying to fix it." "I'm just saying, look at me." "Last summer I was mopping up at a cat hospital." "Today I'm an executive assistant at "Mode" magazine." "A lot can change in a short time." "Don't choke." "Don't choke." "Don't choke." "No, stay." "I don't get it." "It was a holiday." "Clearly, some people thought it would be an ideal time to use my office as a prom limo." "Animals." "What'd they do?" "They polished off six gift baskets, rifled through my drawers and made phone calls from my desk." "What's wrong with people?" "Couldn't they be satisfied with watching the parade and "The sound of music" for, like, the 80th time?" "Is that how you spend your holidays, Marc?" "In Schenectady with my family." "And you came back..." "Uh, right before the Von Trapps escape the nazis." "If I leave before "Edelweiss," I can be home and in bed by midnight." "Marc, I found this under my chaise." "Why are you calling me from the office?" "She knows we called from the office." "Who on this staff would willingly eat something that's 15 grams of fat per serving?" "Uh, ooh, gee, um..." "I'll get it." "You study the teeth imprints." "Hello?" "Ah, Bradford." "How was your holiday?" "Oh, no, I'll..." "I'll turn it on now." "Word has it that Tim, Chloe and baby Chutney will stop in Gotham for a layover on their way to Prague." "Does this mean that New Yorkers will be the first to lay eyes on the mysterious baby girl?" "I hope so, 'cause this New Yorker is starting to think that miss Chloe has been "nursing" a fat slab of swiss cheese." "Wait, are you saying they chose us to reveal baby Chutney?" "Fabulous." "There's the writer contracts that I have to get out today" "I thought it was a paid holiday." "I'm only gonna be there till noon." "Right." "Dad, we've got deadlines, and Daniel's been distracted." "If I wait till monday to finish the paperwork, it'll be too late." "How does your boss take his coffee, on the rocks?" "Shh, dad, please." "Just let him sleep." "I'm sure I'll be back before he even gets up." "Oh, but if I'm not, just, you know, offer him breakfast." "Be nice." "Oh, and whatever you do, don't talk about last night, don't even mention her name." "He's in really bad shape." "Who is this woman anyway?" "What?" "You don't recognize me?" "I'm "Memoir of a Geisha"..." "before she shaved." "You know, I kinda miss the good old days when you snuck out in the middle of the night." "Oh, but then we would've missed this." "What do you think, Betty?" "Can you put me on the cover of your magazine?" "Well, I don't really have much say about what goes on the cover." "Sorry." "Good-bye." "Bye." "You, uh, staying for breakfast?" "Yeah, sure." "Smells great." "You're a guest in this house." "Sofia?" "Hola, Betty." "What's wrong?" "Oh, nothing." "I just didn't expect to see anybody here today." "Oh, when you're launching a magazine in six weeks, no one gets a friday off." "Is Daniel coming in, too?" "Um..." "I-I'm not sure." "I'm leaving him a note." "Well, I'll tell him you stopped by." "Betty, I left him three messages since yesterday, and he has not returned one of my phone calls, and I'm leaving tonight for Maine." "What's in Maine?" "Hunter found some house-- six bedrooms, huge porch." "Says it's the perfect place to raise our future family." "Sounds nice." "Yeah, knowing Hunter, he probably found some old captain to marry us in a lobster boat this weekend." "Marry?" "Great." "Congratulations." "Don't forget to pack your Dramamine." "Betty, I don't know what to do." "Listen, I'm not sure I even want to go." "Why?" "Well, it's complicated." "A month ago, I didn't know Daniel." "Well, have you told him?" "Does he know how you feel?" "Daniel?" "Daniel "so many women, so little time" Meade?" "I don't think it would matter." "Do you?" "What?" "No." "I-I-I don't know." "I-I just came here to work." "I'm--I'm working." "I have to get back to work." "Me, too." "Got a plane to catch." "Hey, papi, can you bring one for Justin?" "Coming right up." "Oh, don't forget the salt, please." "Yep." "So what are we putting under our tree, nothing?" "Maybe we won't have one this year." "Not everybody has a Christmas tree, right?" "Sure, but they're jewish." "We are putting every penny we got towards helping papi." "Do you hear me?" "Hilda, one tree is not gonna break the bank." "We always had one." "Hey, boss." "You okay?" "Hey, Mr. Suarez." "How are you?" "I'm cooking." "Stay for breakfast." "Oh, I'm not much of a breakfast person." "I should probably just head home." "No." "No, no, no, no, no, no." "Betty told me to feed and water you." "Stay for coffee." "You look like hell." "Come on." "There you go." "Come on in and sit down." "How about right there?" "Good job." "Okay." "I'll get you a plate." "Yo, I'm Santos, Hilda's, uh..." "Justin's father." "Oh, right." "Uh, Daniel." "Meade." "Yeah, I know." "I saw your picture in the "Post" once." "You dated Angelina when she was in between boyfriends, right?" "A real player, bro." "Here you go." "How about that?" "Enjoy." "It's the second door on the left." "Oh, hi, Mr. Meade." "You scared me." "Did Daniel get my message?" " Regarding..." " Baby Chutney." "Tim and Chloe have given us a 3-hour window to shoot her." "Tim and Chloe?" ""Mode's" getting the first pictures of baby Chutney?" "Shut up!" "I mean, that's really exciting." "Well, it will be if my son can pull this off." "Is here, isn't he?" "Wilhelmina has called in some staffers, and she's on her way to greet the plane." "Bradford, I was thinking we approach this from a family angle." "You know how the firstborn changes everything?" "Yeah, I like that." "Tell Daniel that since, uh, we're short staffed," "Sofia has volunteered to write the copy." "They'll make a great team." "No, I can't be there, Betty." "I'm total mess." "Tell her I'm a mess." "Betty, he's a mess." "He can't hold down my huevos, and he's got a fever." "Baby who?" "Oh, no." "Baby Chutney." "Baby Chutney?" "Tim and Chloe have given us three hours, and Sofia's come up with a family angle." "Yeah, Tim and Chloe-- explain that one." "He sleeps with every woman who brings him coffee, and all of a sudden he's Mr. Family man?" "Daniel, are you still drunk?" "Wait, did--did you say Sofia?" "My Sofia?" "What, is Hunter the chin there, too?" "Daniel, you have to be here." "I am sick, Betty." "I'm still drunk." "I can't face her." "Besides, what do I know about shooting a family spread, huh?" "Just cover for me." "No." "I can't take charge of this." "What is going on over there?" "Uh, the tree I ordered just arrived." "The what?" "The Christmas tree for your family." "Why did you get us a tree?" "Threw up in four rooms of your house." "It's the least I can do, huh?" " Well, how did you" " It was no big deal." "I just called the company florist." "Oh, my god!" "Daniel." "Daniel?" "Where is he?" "He's on his way." "Okay." "Oh!" "You're up." "Good morning." "What am I doing here?" "I picked you up from a bar on Union Square last night." "Apparently, you sampled a lot of their fancy scotches." "And... what-- what happened after that?" "I showed up to take you home, but then I remembered that it's very easy to choke on your own vomit, and you live alone, so I brought you here instead." "You slept... where?" "In your arms." "Relax, I'm kidding." "On the couch, downstairs." "Oh, great." "I mean, th-thanks." "So how are you feeling?" "Like, uh, like my tongue's wearing a sweater." "Could you please not do that?" "How did things go with Sofia?" "Sofia left... with her perfect boyfriend, who probably proposed to her with his perfect chin." "What?" "She wants a family, Betty." "She wants to settle down, drive a car with a backseat." "That doesn't sound so terrible." "It does when she doesn't see you as the guy she wants to do that with." "I'm not that guy, am I?" "I mean, maybe you could just stick to girls who love 2-seaters." "You never called back that one danish girl." "Don't try and fix this, Betty." "I lost her." "I'm not trying to fix it." "I'm just saying, look at me." "Last summer I was mopping up at a cat hospital." "Today I'm an executive assistant at "Mode" magazine." "A lot can change in a short time." "Don't choke." "Don't choke." "Don't choke." "No, stay." "I don't get it." "It was a holiday." "Clearly, some people thought it would be an ideal time to use my office as a prom limo." "Animals." "What'd they do?" "They polished off six gift baskets, rifled through my drawers and made phone calls from my desk." "What's wrong with people?" "Couldn't they be satisfied with watching the parade and "The sound of music" for, like, the 80th time?" "Is that how you spend your holidays, Marc?" "In Schenectady with my family." "And you came back..." "Uh, right before the Von Trapps escape the nazis." "If I leave before "Edelweiss," I can be home and in bed by midnight." "Marc, I found this under my chaise." "Why are you calling me from the office?" "She knows we called from the office." "Who on this staff would willingly eat something that's 15 grams of fat per serving?" "Uh, ooh, gee, um..." "I'll get it." "You study the teeth imprints." "Hello?" "Ah, Bradford." "How was your holiday?" "Oh, no, I'll..." "I'll turn it on now." "Word has it that Tim, Chloe and baby Chutney will stop in Gotham for a layover on their way to Prague." "Does this mean that New Yorkers will be the first to lay eyes on the mysterious baby girl?" "I hope so, 'cause this New Yorker is starting to think that miss Chloe has been "nursing" a fat slab of swiss cheese." "Wait, are you saying they chose us to reveal baby Chutney?" "Fabulous." "There's the writer contracts that I have to get out today" "I thought it was a paid holiday." "I'm only gonna be there till noon." "Right." "Dad, we've got deadlines, and Daniel's been distracted." "If I wait till monday to finish the paperwork, it'll be too late." "How does your boss take his coffee, on the rocks?" "Shh, dad, please." "Just let him sleep." "I'm sure I'll be back before he even gets up." "Oh, but if I'm not, just, you know, offer him breakfast." "Be nice." "Oh, and whatever you do, don't talk about last night, don't even mention her name." "He's in really bad shape." "Who is this woman anyway?" "What?" "You don't recognize me?" "I'm "Memoir of a Geisha"..." "before she shaved." "You know, I kinda miss the good old days when you snuck out in the middle of the night." "Oh, but then we would've missed this." "What do you think, Betty?" "Can you put me on the cover of your magazine?" "Well, I don't really have much say about what goes on the cover." "Sorry." "Good-bye." "Bye." "You, uh, staying for breakfast?" "Yeah, sure." "Smells great." "You're a guest in this house." "Sofia?" "Hola, Betty." "What's wrong?" "Oh, nothing." "I just didn't expect to see anybody here today." "Oh, when you're launching a magazine in six weeks, no one gets a friday off." "Is Daniel coming in, too?" "Um..." "I-I'm not sure." "I'm leaving him a note." "Well, I'll tell him you stopped by." "Betty, I left him three messages since yesterday, and he has not returned one of my phone calls, and I'm leaving tonight for Maine." "What's in Maine?" "Hunter found some house-- six bedrooms, huge porch." "Says it's the perfect place to raise our future family." "Sounds nice." "Yeah, knowing Hunter, he probably found some old captain to marry us in a lobster boat this weekend." "Marry?" "Great." "Congratulations." "Don't forget to pack your Dramamine." "Betty, I don't know what to do." "Listen, I'm not sure I even want to go." "Why?" "Well, it's complicated." "A month ago, I didn't know Daniel." "Well, have you told him?" "Does he know how you feel?" "Daniel?" "Daniel "so many women, so little time" Meade?" "I don't think it would matter." "Do you?" "What?" "No." "I-I-I don't know." "I-I just came here to work." "I'm--I'm working." "I have to get back to work." "Me, too." "Got a plane to catch." "Hey, papi, can you bring one for Justin?" "Coming right up." "Oh, don't forget the salt, please." "Yep." "So what are we putting under our tree, nothing?" "Maybe we won't have one this year." "Not everybody has a Christmas tree, right?" "Sure, but they're jewish." "We are putting every penny we got towards helping papi." "Do you hear me?" "Hilda, one tree is not gonna break the bank." "We always had one." "Hey, boss." "You okay?" "Hey, Mr. Suarez." "How are you?" "I'm cooking." "Stay for breakfast." "Oh, I'm not much of a breakfast person." "I should probably just head home." "No." "No, no, no, no, no, no." "Betty told me to feed and water you." "Stay for coffee." "You look like hell." "Come on." "There you go." "Come on in and sit down." "How about right there?" "Good job." "Okay." "I'll get you a plate." "Yo, I'm Santos, Hilda's, uh..." "Justin's father." "Oh, right." "Uh, Daniel." "Meade." "Yeah, I know." "I saw your picture in the "Post" once." "You dated Angelina when she was in between boyfriends, right?" "A real player, bro." "Here you go." "How about that?" "Enjoy." "It's the second door on the left." "Oh, hi, Mr. Meade." "You scared me." "Did Daniel get my message?" " Regarding..." " Baby Chutney." "Tim and Chloe have given us a 3-hour window to shoot her." "Tim and Chloe?" ""Mode's" getting the first pictures of baby Chutney?" "Shut up!" "I mean, that's really exciting." "Well, it will be if my son can pull this off." "Is here, isn't he?" "Wilhelmina has called in some staffers, and she's on her way to greet the plane." "Bradford, I was thinking we approach this from a family angle." "You know how the firstborn changes everything?" "Yeah, I like that." "Tell Daniel that since, uh, we're short staffed," "Sofia has volunteered to write the copy." "They'll make a great team." "No, I can't be there, Betty." "I'm total mess." "Tell her I'm a mess." "Betty, he's a mess." "He can't hold down my huevos, and he's got a fever." "Baby who?" "Oh, no." "Baby Chutney." "Baby Chutney?" "Tim and Chloe have given us three hours, and Sofia's come up with a family angle." "Yeah, Tim and Chloe-- explain that one." "He sleeps with every woman who brings him coffee, and all of a sudden he's Mr. Family man?" "Daniel, are you still drunk?" "Wait, did--did you say Sofia?" "My Sofia?" "What, is Hunter the chin there, too?" "Daniel, you have to be here." "I am sick, Betty." "I'm still drunk." "I can't face her." "Besides, what do I know about shooting a family spread, huh?" "Just cover for me." "No." "I can't take charge of this." "What is going on over there?" "Uh, the tree I ordered just arrived." "The what?" "The Christmas tree for your family." "Why did you get us a tree?" "Threw up in four rooms of your house." "It's the least I can do, huh?" " Well, how did you" " It was no big deal." "I just called the company florist." "Oh, my god!" "Daniel." "Daniel?" "Where is he?" "He's on his way." "Okay." "Is he here?" "I'm sorry." "You are..." "This is Bruno..." "Jacobs." "Stylist." "I was called in to help him coordinate today." "Of course." "Mr. Bruno, hi." "I'm Betty." "It's" "Where's Daniel?" "He... is... on his way." "He's... getting a gift for baby Chutney." "Isn't that your job?" "Daniel is very hands-on." "The clock is ticking." "We need to talk concept." "You know, we were thinking of something family oriented." "They're movie stars." "Okay, um..." "well, what are your thoughts?" "Uh, Daniel requested that you share them with me." "Really?" "Well, my first thought is coffee." "I like it hot." "Okay." "Here, drink this." "It'll help." "Thanks." "I really appreciate this." "Oh, well, we really appreciate the tree." "It's so nice." "This isn't, uh, Betty's bonus, right?" "I say we take the door off the hinges and cut off some branches." "Yo, Justin, you got a saw?" "I got it." "I got it." "You guys did an awesome article last december on how to make icicles out of mylar." "I saved that issue." "Really?" "Well, more for the article on that old queen of hungary." "I didn't know you were into history." "She used to sleep wrapped up in a sheet with raw steaks." "It removed her toxins." "Her skin was flawless." " Flawless?" " Flawless." "Good for her." " Hi." " Hi." "Tell me something." "How long does Santos plan on sticking around?" "Look, papi, I can take care of myself." "It's not you I'm worried about." "Well, Justin could use another man in his life right now." "What happens when this "man" disappears again for three years?" "Ay, back off, would you?" "Give him a chance to be a father." "We can dump the water on her from behind." "We can shoot high-speed from a low angle." "Genius." "Love using that mermaid movie Chloe did for inspiration." "If the baby doesn't see the water coming... bam." "Pure drama." "You're gonna dump water on the baby?" "Is that the concept?" "Do you have a nondairy creamer?" "Is everybody on board with this?" "I mean, I personally" "I think that a wet baby ambush could be very dynamic... but--but Daniel might not." "I'm--I'm gonna check on that creamer." "Okay." "Of course I approve, Betty." "This is Bruno Jacobs, hon." "He styled Madonna while she was giving birth, made her belly sweat look like diamonds." "Tell Daniel to get out of the way and let him do his work." "Will you excuse me for just a second?" "What about Amanda?" "Where did she spend her holiday?" "I think she went to Vermont." "Oh, I can't wait to meet baby Chutney." "I hope she spits up on something so I can sell it on the internet." "Now how could Amanda get back from Vermont so fast?" "It doesn't make sense." "I, uh--oh, excuse-y." "It's Amanda." "Hello?" "Oh, it's just a text message." ""Forget the cashews." "You're the one who had to be Nancy Drew."" "Look, Willie, I can explain" "You held that nut in your hand and you lied to me." " I never touched your cashews." " Oh, no, that was Amanda." "You were the one who made the phone calls." "You are Nancy Drew." "I didn't learn anything, though." "Then why are you wheezing?" "You have a friend in a surgical hospital that likes to chat." "About what?" "I don't know." "I was drinking and dialing." "Oh, you are done dialing, Nancy." "Oh!" "Oh, I still had free minutes." "Why are we getting off here?" "Ma'am, we have a flat." "Sorry." "We can't stop now." "I-I have to go meet baby Chutney on the tarmac!" "Dad, is he there?" "I need to talk to him." "Is he upright?" "Technically, yes." "Is that him?" "Betty, let me talk to him." "Let me talk to him." "Is that Sofia?" "Don't--don't tell her it's me." "I can't deal with this today." "Uh--Daniel, Daniel, I can't hear you." "You're breaking up" "I need to ask him-- I need his input on this paper." "Just call me when you get off the gift wrapping floor." "Okay, 'bye." "Sorry." "Did he ask about me?" "Uh, maybe." "I could-- I couldn't hear very well." "Thanks." "Brilliant." "Metal is a nice homage." "Tim did that King Arthur movie in armor last year." "Oh, if you freeze-frame the fight scene, he is not wearing a codpiece." "I know." "Can this be tailored?" "Maybe with a blow torch." "Let's go with this." "It's edgy." "You know, don't you think that we should wait for Daniel's opinion?" "Where is he?" "He's coming." "Uh, but I just don't think that he's gonna go for a baby in chain-link." "It's chain mail." "Whatever." "If she tries to move in that, she's gonna need first aid." "You know?" "'Cause their skin, it's--it's tender." "Is this your opinion, or Daniel's?" "Daniel's." "Really?" "I could have sworn it was yours." "And frankly, I'm not about to take critiques from someone who trims her bangs with a lighter." "Your boss has five minutes to get here, or he forfeits his vote." "Look." "You made that?" "No, that was Betty, years ago, from her glitter period." "Justin, hand me that, will you?" "What's that supposed to be, a cow?" "R eindeer." "My late wife made this for me, our first Christmas in New York." "Her feet were always cold, so she put boots on everything." "So most of these are homemade?" "Oh, yeah." "Careful with that." "It's older than you." "Your mother was busy." "I made this one when I was pregnant with Justin." "Here come the tears..." "just watch." "Listen, you." "I'm proud of this." "It took me weeks to weave this straw." "Hormones'll make you do strange things." "It was the only thing in the house she didn't try to eat." "It's not funny." "You wanna hang it?" "Uh, sure, yeah." "I'm... kind a new at this." "I should..." "I..." "I guess I should start at the top, or... um... bottom?" "Middle?" "Your family never had Christmas trees?" "Oh, yeah, sure." "We had amazing trees-- uh, electric trains running underneath, Waterford icicles, you name it." "Just, uh, weren't allowed to touch anything." "How does that feel?" "Ow." "Like my braces slipped." "I can't believe any mother would let her baby wear that thing." "Oh, we're gonna have to find something safer for the baby to wear, like maybe a plastic bag." "Well, isn't there anything in here that could work for a 6 month old?" "No, nothing, nothing-- yes, there is" "Kate Moss' spandex dress." "No, no, no, 'cause I'm gonna have to take it out a bit." "Daniel!" "Hey, listen, so they wanna put baby Chutney in chain mail, which would rust once they soaked her." "That's great." "No, no, no." "It's not great, Daniel." "If she burps, she'll get lockjaw." "Are you feeling any better?" "A little." "I'm decorating your tree." "You know, your family has a lot of cool ornaments." "I really like your glitter period." "What?" "This is all so new to me, Betty." "You know, my family, we'd go away on Thanksgiving, we'd come back on sunday and the whole tree was done... by professionals." "Daniel, look." "We need decisions." "The whole thing was an excuse for a photo op." "Are we gonna do this, or what?" "Because I'm gonna have to rent a soldering gun." "Daniel" "Betty, come on." "You're always saying you want more responsibility." "You can do this." "And by the time I got in from Queens, it would all be over anyway." "Betty, you're the man." "Shoot." "Is it three cranberries, then a popcorn, or three popcorns, then a cranberry?" "I'm not sure, but you better ask Justin, because he's very particular." "What did he say?" "He likes what I do with glitter, and apparently, I'm the man." "I need to get to JFK, fast." "No highway, just side streets." "Now go." "Okay, the only reason I was there is 'cause I didn't want to go home for Thanksgiving." "My mom keeps trying to set me up with this girl who plays the organ at their church, and I just wanted to watch the parade from... a safe place." "Please say something." "You know the name of the hospital." "You know the frequency of my calls." "You stepped way over the line this time, Marc." "I don't know whether I can protect you anymore." "Protect me from what?" "The person you were trying to call is not amused." "We have a big problem." "We do?" "The publicist just sent me a sneak peek at the kid." "I'm gonna need five hours-- a minimum of four." "That's not possible." "Well, then, it can't happen." "Why?" "Because baby Chutney is butt-ugly." "We're talking scary." "Well maybe they just sent you a bad picture." "Maybe it was fuzzy." "No, the baby is fuzzy." "This child fell out of the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down." "Well, we're talking about a baby girl." "Who's going to require extra lighting and yards of tape for those ears." "Well, they need to catch a plane." "What don't you understand?" "This kid is hideous." "Well, maybe your concept of what's beautiful is a little narrow." "Excuse me?" "If you can't find the wonder and pure joy of a baby, and think that it's edgy to drown them in chain mail" "I have been styling for this magazine, missy, since before you bought your first pair of orthopedic pumps." "Well, maybe that's true, but for the record, your "brilliant" cover of Courtney Love leaving rehab in a wheelbarrow of pills was our lowest selling issue in 17 years, so maybe you're not the right person for the job." "Are you firing me?" "I didn't say that, but if you don't think you can do it" "I don't, and clearly you don't, so I suggest that you find someone who designs installations for the Bronx zoo." "Oh, tell them to bring treats." "Who the hell is this woman?" "For today, she's the boss." "Do you know where you're going?" "Do you know what JFK stands for..." "Pradip?" "You said take side street." "This is side street." "No, this is slow street." "Pathetic." "This city will hand out licenses to anyone." ""What'd you drive in the old country, a goat?" "Here, have a cab."" "Why are we stopping?" "You getting out." "I do not have to drive nasty person." "Fine." "Leave him here." "No, you, out." "Go." "Okay, okay, maybe we should just..." "Okay, so..." "let's regroup, call another cab and see if they'll come to, um..." "Dante's seventh circle of hell." "Uh, give me your phone." " Willie?" " I--oh." "Where's your bag?" "Why isn't she answering her phone?" "Betty." "Betty." "Betty, where the hell is Daniel, hmm?" "You've been covering for your boss all day, haven't you?" "Well, at least let me help you." "No, Sofia, you cannot be more involved than you already are." "What are you talking about?" "Daniel's not here because of you." " Me?" " Yes." "You broke his heart last night, so he drank himself sick, and now he's at my house, making little drummer boys out of stale marshmallow." "Did Daniel fire Bruno?" "We weren't on the same page." "Well, Daniel better have a concept, because team baby Chutney is waiting in the conference room for direction." "Tell 'em I'll be there in ten minutes." "I made the frame out of chenille sticks." "Cool." "Where'd you find those?" "Fabric store." "Yo, what do you say we go outside, get some fresh air, toss a football?" "We're doing the tree." "Yeah, well, give the glitter a rest." "Come on." "Come out and be a normal kid for an hour." "I don't know, Santos," "I mean, if Justin deserts me now, the tree'll end up looking like overdressed firewood." "I need Justin's eyes." "He's got a gift." "Yeah?" "Well, there's other things he can learn, things no one's teaching him in this house." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Just what I said." "Who the hell's taking him to fabric stores?" "I am." "Come here." "Who are you to come here after all this time and judge anybody or anything in this family?" "You want me to just sit by and watch him play with chenille and not say something about it?" "No, keeping talking." "You're gonna leave here with a few less teeth." "Look, if his own family doesn't put a stop to this, then I am" "A stop to what?" "He is comfortable with who he is, and so am I." "If you got a problem with him, or with us, then you don't belong here." "So you call all the shots, is that it?" "Okay, jefe." "Adiós." "Don't say I didn't try." "You know, I think, uh, I twisted this wrong." "Was I supposed to braid it?" "Hi." "This is Betty Suarez." "I'm calling from "Mode" magazine." "Hold on just one second." "That's disgusting." "Using Tim and Chloe's first film as inspiration, we'll recreate a jungle setting at the Rego Park arboretum." "Ew." "Does Daniel really expect Tim and Chloe to get out of their limo in Queens?" "Well, Amanda." "They'll be stepping into paradise, the garden of eden." "Since the firstborn child is all about beginnings, we'll portray the new parents as the first family, a 21st century Adam and Eve." "How do you not have any cash on you, not even an A.T.M. card?" "There's $17 in my account." "We can go to the bank, but I swear, it'll be a social call." "Do taxis even come to this part of the world?" "Where are we?" "I don't think we want to ask them." "Well, we have no choice." "Go ask them to borrow $20." "Something tells me they're more into receiving than giving." "Never mind." "I'll do it." "Pardon me." "Hello." "Uh, my assistant and I are in an absurd situation." "The taxi that was taking us to the airport" "Ain't no airport around here." "That's what I told the driver." "I'm Wilhelmina Slater." ""Mode" magazine." "Perhaps you don't subscribe." "Anyway" "What are you wearin', girl?" "Rabbit?" "Uh, actually, it's, uh..." "albino lynx, and it's not as warm as it might seem." "Ooh, girl, shoot." "I could make me some fierce pillows outta this puppy." "Okay, back off, girlfriends." "Stop pawing' my piece, 'less you gonna show me some benjies." "You... know what I'm sayin'?" " Benjies?" " Where you from?" "Okay, Lil' Kim." "Visiting hours are over." "What, you gonna charge me to touch you?" "She's new in the field, girls, and her corner's a long, long way from here, so..." " Oh, so you about to get cut" " Uh, run." "You better get up outta here." "Where does this go?" "Near the top." "That's where we hang all of our stocking ones." "We each have our own." "This one'll be yours." "Oh, gingerbread's done." "Listen, Mr. Suarez, um..." "I'm sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes." "I really didn't mean to get in between your" "Please, Daniel." "I'm thankful you were here." "You'll make a great father someday." "Tim and Chloe in the garden of eden?" "Oh, no, I-I like it, Betty." "It's clever, and" " And what?" " I don't know." "It's just..." "I wonder if we'd be better off with something... simpler." "I mean, Tim and Chloe-- they don't have to be seen in some exotic jungle." "All right, they're two working-class kids who just grew up to be movie stars." "What if we saw them in a living room, in a row house in some neighborhood, just doing something a family does?" "I think you should bring Tim and Chloe here, to your house." "I think he started drinking again." "I heard that, and I haven't." "Get them to come here." "I've got an idea." "Come on, now." "Come on, come on, come on." "Oh, Sofia, it's you." "I'm so glad I caught you." "I called your assistant and she said that you were leaving for the airport." "I was hoping that you could maybe drop me off?" "Drop you off where?" "Home." "Daniel's come up with this whole new concept." "We're gonna shoot baby Chutney in my living room, sort of an old-fashioned Christmas portrait around our tree." "That Daniel has so many ideas, doesn't he?" "No." "I'm serious." "This is his idea." "I need a ride, and it's on your way." "How the hell did I wind up in a run-down storefront church in the middle of Queens?" "Are we sure there's not a phone in this place?" "Maybe under the altar?" "It doesn't matter, anyway." "It's too late." "I really screwed up this time." "Oh, please." "Everyone knows traffic's insane on Thanksgiving weekend, and besides, I'm sure Bruno's handling it." "You hire the best." "I can't even do my job anymore." "I'm too busy trying to cover Daniel's." "I'm so distracted, spending every minute trying to take over the whole company." "You're trying to take over the whole company?" "I didn't say that." "I would never say that." "What I'm saying is, I'm--I'm not the leader I used to be." "Willie, don't be so hard on yourself." "You know what they say-- it has to get really dark before it can get light again." "Marc, you are right." "Amen." "There's enough in here to get us back to civilization." "Is it all singles?" "Poor people are so cheap." "Let's go." "Oh, yeah, this is Betty's house." "Oh, really...?" "You couldn't get a ride with Christina?" "Okay, look, I lied." "Sofia, I don't want to have to tell Daniel that you might be coming back on monday as someone else's wife." "You need to tell him that yourself." "What's the matter?" "That was perfume." "I think we should put this one on the back side." "Unh-unh." "Touch that and I break your arm." "Is that her?" "Yeah." "Now I get it." "Uh, Mr. Suarez?" "Uh, how do you say," ""I love you, and I can't live without you" in spanish?" " Te amo..." " Te amo... y no puedo vivir sin ti... y no puedo vivir sin ti." "Good luck." "That's english." "Wow, no wonder he wanted to bring them here." "It looks like Daniel had the winning idea after all, huh?" "You had a few good ones yourself." "Not that we're really using any of them." "Betty... you're wasting your time at "Mode" magazine." "What?" "Why would you say that?" "Because you think with your heart, not just with your head." "It took a lot to stand up to Bruno Jacobs, and the people at "Mode" are never going to appreciate that." "Come work for my magazine." "You'll have your own assistant within a year." "Oh, I-I'm not so sure about that." "I know it's a little awkward because of Daniel." "But please, just consider it." "Are you really offering me a job?" "One with a real future." "Oh, hey." "Where are we?" "Uh, just about to start." "You may want to supervise your nephew." "He keeps trying different hats on the baby." "Is..." "Sofia coming in?" "She's on her way to the airport to meet Hunter." "You might want to go talk to her while you still can." "Justin!" " Hey." " Hey." "I've thought about what you said outside the club." "Sofia, I come from a pretty messed up family." "I don't exactly have a great frame of reference when I hear the words "happily married."" "That being said, not every family is my family... thank god." "Before you rush off with someone else," "I'd like to at least have one more chance." "Te amo y no puedo vivitar sin ti." "You don't believe me?" "No, you just said you loved your camera." "Is this for me?" "It's supposed to be a dove." "I haven't quite mastered the art of the jelly bean." "Maybe later tonight we could pick out a tree to hang it on... if that'd be okay." "We're gonna need the replacement card today." "Put on your supervisor." "Wilhelmina Slater's office." "Whose idea was it to move a celebrity shoot to Queens?" "!" "Do I still have a job?" "I hear screaming." "You're off the hook, but it's gonna cost you a lot-- at Barney's." "Amanda, leave the roof." "All right, so are you sure you don't want me to stay and help finish cleaning up?" "No." "Justin won't let you near anything Chloe touched anyway." "Well, thanks for everything you did today." "You're the one who saved the day." "Yeah, but you're the one who brought Sofia here." "Well, yes." "I just thought she needed to see you in a different part of town." "Did she catch her plane?" "She decided to postpone her trip." "Oh, congratulations." "Same to you." "She told me about the job offer she made to you." "Oh, no, Daniel." "I--it came out of nowhere." "I didn't even take her seriously." "I would never--I mean" "I could never..." "leave you." "It's a fantastic opportunity." " I'm happy" " Betty... you didn't grow up wanting to be my assistant." "You have your own dreams." "I would never stand in your way." "Wilhelmina Slater's office." "Is she there?" "Who may I say is calling?" "An old friend from college." "Line two, an old friend from college... which you never went to." "It's Wilhelmina." "Why is someone named Pradip answering your cell phone?" "Marc, can I have some privacy, please?" "Come on, Willie." "We don't have any secrets, not anymore." "We're in this together, right?" "I'll call you right back." "What do you want, Marc?" "Job security, a title... and my own company credit card would be nice." "Wow, he was such a nice guy." "He's not at all what I expected." "Well, he was a little hung over." "Mija, I'm not talking about Daniel." "I'm talking about Tim." "There was a movie star in my house today." "There were two!" "So when do we see the pictures?" "I guess when they hit the newsstands." "I might be able to sneak home a copy, though, if I'm still working there." "Wait a minute-- what do you mean, "if"?" "Well, I could be working at "Mode,"" "or I could be working at another magazine." "Another magazine?" "You mean there's two magazines that want you?" "Yeah." "Can you believe that?" "When did this happen?" "I'll get it." "But, Betty... no news till I get back." " Dad" " Just tell us something." " Betty, come on, just tell us." "Wait." "Can I help you?" "Ignacio Suarez?" "That's me." "We're with immigration and customs enforcement." "What can I do for you?" "You're gonna have to come with us, sir." "Why?" "Mr. Suarez, you're under arrest."