"When I was 4 years old, my father went off to war, leaving no word of his return." "That's when I started cleaning houses and I haven't stopped since." "Hardwork got me this apartment, where I raised my family." "No easy task," "I assure you." "Especiallywhen mymother and husbandwere still alive." "Theyhated each other." "Always screaming!" "These walls have seen more screams than coats of paint." "Gloryto the Father, the Son... andthe Holy Spirit." "The humidityisthe worst part." "Believe you me," "I've seen my share of coldwinters." "I'd longforsummerto arrive becausethen Iwould only starve." "That's why, when I die, lwant to be buried inflames." "Iwant to go out nice andwarm, like a chestnut." "Wouldn't that be nice!" "Howlovely!" "Like what happenedto me last summer." "Javi, my youngest son, was restless." "Wheneverlturned around, he'd crossthe drivewaybyhimself." "Watch out, you clown!" "I'd say, "Stayinthe house, because it's subsidized bythe government." "You're safe here."" "But he lovedthe countryside." "He lovedto go camping, evenwithout atent." "I'd always say," ""Son, if you aren't coming home, let me know." "Isthat too muchto ask?"" "What's up?" "I'm fine." "His brotherJulian got ajob as a street cleaner." "The boywas out ofhis mind." "He wantedto check into an asylum but the doctorsaid there was no need, that he sufferedfrom nerve endings, a conditiontreated verynicelywith pills." ""Quit smoking," I said." ""We'll haveto donate yourbody to Public Works to pavethe roads with."" "Give me a cigarette." "He and his brother got along great." "You don't have Winston?" "Nope." "Forget it then." "It's over." "My only company at home was a TVset." "It showed me a worldfull of color, much less lonelythan my own." "Bythen lwas a widow." "At least myhusband died a sweet death." "He diedfull ofliquor, like a chocolate bon-bon." "He drank whisky like ababy drinks milk." "The dayhe died was a day of mourning forthe Spanish wine industry." "Where have you been all night?" "I can't say, Mom." "I can't either." "What happenedto my clock?" "It fell." "Where arethe pieces?" "Lthrewthem out." " Baloney!" " Mom..." "Come on, it was worthless anyway." "I'll buy you abetterone, okay?" "Nowyou're goingto sleep like abat?" "Javi, find a decent job like yourbrother." "Just a quick little nap, Mom." "I'm feeling abit chilly." "Take offthose wet clothes and drythem onthe heater." "Thetank isn't here." "You already sold it?" "Lwork so hard so we can buythings!" "It was agift, Mom." "It wasn't even yours." "Don't worry so much." "I'm can't take it anymore!" "I'd riseto workto the call ofthe roosterdownstairs, afilthyman who usedto beat myneighborBlasa." "To those hurt..." "To those hurt..." "To those hurt bylove..." "Son of abitch!" "I'll gouge youreyes out, you bastard!" "I loved myneighborhood." "But everymorning I hadto leave it behind." "Everylighthouse has its beam." "Everyname has its voice." "Everylight shines equally as bright." "Every voice sounds equally as clear." "Every shipfightsthe current, crossing its own sea of destiny." "Every ocean... can be sailed." "Deep in reason, and mysterious... isthe secret life oflesserthings." "Oflesserthings." "Oflesserthings." "Oflesserthings." "Oflesserthings." " Hi, Flores." "How are we doing?" " Bad." "Tellthat guy onthe 6thfloor to put a diaperon his dog." "She's amammal and she gets herperiod, too." "Tell him yourself, you'rethe one with a degree as a doorman." "Besides, the dog is male." "Male?" "Yeah, right." "Just like its owner." "Because between us, frankly..." "that guyRiki who lives onthe 6thfloor..." "is gay." "Gay?" "What's that for?" "Afairy, which is what they've always been called." "But apparently nowthey're calling it "gay."" "Mr. R ikitold me he's married." "Yeah." "Though I've neverseen his wife." "Andyou neverwill." "You don't knowthis, but everyweekend he brings a young guyhere, to the apartment." "Hello, Mr. R iki." "Mr. R icardo!" "Mr. R ikiwas probably amillionaire, because he was swimming in dough." "On Tuesdays and Thursdays lwalked his dog, which he named after aluxury supermarket. "Hipercor."" "In myneighborhood we'd have called him "7-11."" "Sayhito Candida, lberico." " Sayhi." " Hi, Hipercor." "Hi, Hipercor." "Iberico wantsto go fora walk." "Willyouwalk me, Candida?" "Flores might be right afterall, that you're homosensual." "So what iflwere?" "That's exactlywhat I said." "Women are always so nosy!" "Go on, go on." "The Countess ofBanco de España introduced meto Riki." "You're still overthere, Candida?" "Hurry up, it's almost lunchtime." "She was betterthan sliced bread." "You still haveto make lunch and polishthe silver." "Didyou likethe geranium?" "I couldtake a cutting." "They're prettybut they drink alot." "And I get the waterbill." "All right." "Tomorrowyou're going to make stewwithout meat." "What matters" " istheflavor." " Right, theflavor." "Nutrition is also aplus." "Go on, always being so extravagant andyou're always broke." "With what I earn..." "You needto economize better, like everyone else." "Stop splurging." "I'm always helping you out." "Just to showyou, go ahead andtake this carton of milk home, it has expired." "The count can't drink it, his stomach istoo sensitive." "You people are usedto it, so it's fine." "Israel has once again violated..." "The count had an autographed photo ofKingAlfonso XXL, an extralarge king." "He had quite an office, with perishable animals onthe walls" "and abuilt-in TVset with anchors so eloquent you'd believe anythingthey said, even alle." "Delays, limited access and random checkpoints are having anegative impact onthe sick andwounded in areas affected bythe bombing." "Time nowforSports." "We're allworried," "Santi, because it looks like" "Nadal's knee injuryis acting up..." "Well, afterthose images, "worried" might not bethe word..." "But tennisfans certainlymust be." "Yes, I suppose." "Clearly..." "Finito!" "Marichu!" "Weapons are awful." "Spare me yournonsense, please!" "Without weaponsthe Moors would be inthe Pyrenees andyou'd be wearing a veil." "Wearing a veil andwithout a clitoris!" "Luis Pedro, forthe love of God." "It's true, woman." "No wonderyou have stomach problems." "You're so tense you're going to bust an artery vein!" "Candida, don't start." "Just like what mymother-in-law says." "And just what does yourmother-in-law say, ifl may ask?" "Fuck you andthe horse you rode in on!" "Oh, what abig, fat mouth we have!" "Oh, what abig, fat ass we have!" "You couldfit my daughter-in-law inside with herhat on." "Forgive mymother-in-law." "Shethinks being nice costs money." "She hasn't beenthe same since hercerebral orgasm." "I can't wait forher to be discharged." "Just what I needed, anothermouthto feed." "Goodbye, darling." "Filthy animal!" "Get out." "I can't even look at you." "Damnthat nastybitch." "Andyourhusband, howls he doing?" "Grandma, he diedthree years ago." "So nothing's changed." "Itold myJavi, "Go take care of Grandma."" "And he said, "Mom, you go." "I'm goingjob-hunting."" "Me, ugly?" "I'll singthe song again." "Come on, kids!" "He was always asking me to buyhim arecord player." ""Find a steady job and buy one yourself."" "He wantedto be a singer." "He just loved music." "So he started singing at fancyrestaurants." "Mr. P ablo." "The Land Cruiser, right?" "With heated seats, eh?" "But sincetheywouldn't let him inside, he'dwait forthe customers at the exit and sing inthe street." "Well, think about it, Pablo." "We canwordthe ad howeveryou like." "The wording is just fine." ""Lfly safe."" "Change whateveryouwant." "They're dyingforyouto." "Look, I do anews show, not billboards sellingtrips to the Caribbean." "You have plenty of colleagues promoting products." "Right, but to me..." "Look, I'm in ahuge hurry, as usual." "I'll callyou in a couple days." "Thanks." "Sorry." "Damn it!" "Who would everstick theirhand inthere?" "My, oh, my..." "My, oh, my..." "Even yourfeet are pretty as pie." "Even yourfeet are pretty as pie." "No wayin hell." "You can see it there." "It's a cell phone, right?" "You can see it shining in allthe crap." "With ataxi charm hangingfrom it." "Yeah." "No wayin hell." "Maybe mybrother, he's got arms more likethis..." "But my shoulderruns out at the end of my arm." "Looks like you'll have to tipthe boy, Mr. P ablo." "The phone is long gone." "Iwas about to saythat." "I came out fighting like myfather, who served intwo otherwars afterthe CivilWar." "He got shot inthe earing France and got shot inthe leg in Germany." "He was lucky enoughto get injured in everywarhefought in so he got a double pension." "But we didn't inherit apenny ofit." "I must be so deaf because myfathergot shot inthe ear." "Because deafness istransmitted by germs." "Take my eldest son, Teodosio." "Heturnedfrom alcoholism to socialism." "He was so nastyhe spent all histime at the union accusing people of stuff." "A hardworking and veryhonest boy." "I'm going, Teodosio." "I left everything spotless." "I almost forgot." "W hile cleaning lfound abili." "Return it to its owner." "Okay, Mom, Iwill." "See you Wednesday, son." "Goodbye." "Tickets." "Ma'am!" "I havefourchildren." "Three males and afemale..." "Trini, who I hardly eversee." "Mom!" "They're hardto raise, but latertheylight up yourlife." "Hi, Trini." "What a surprise." "We can't give you aride, Mom." "Eusebio has agraduation party." "What kind of graduation?" "Military!" "What abunch ofjerks!" "Well, it was nice seeing you." "Kissthe babyforme." " He must be huge." " You'll seeforyourself." "We left him foryou." "Give him some dinner, we didn't havetime." "Let's go!" "Javi?" "Javi!" "Javi!" "Julian, didn't you have the night shift?" "What are you doing?" "Watching TV." "Why?" "Where's the TV?" "Javitook it." "He needed it." "Why?" "You didn't say anything?" "No, lwas sitting here watching commercials and didn't notice." "Why?" "Shouldn't you be hosing down the streets?" "I quit." "T he hose was giving me rheumatism." "Who putsthose ideas into yourhead?" "The Martians." " The Martians?" " They send me messages onthe TV." "Throughthe commercials." "Didthe Martianstellyou to eat the whole box" " of cookies?" " They said I needfiber to take care of myinsides." "With allthat fiber you'll poop nylon socks." "Do I haveto go back to CityHalltomorrow to begthem not to fire you?" "Howmanytimes have I been?" "Blasa, dear!" "Didthat horrible husband of yours hit you again?" "I'm goingto throwmyself onto the subwaytracks." "Again?" "I'm insured as a street cleaner, so... we'll collect amillion pesetas." "Go pick it up." "Yeah, okay." "Bye, Mrs. Blasa." "Look, Blasa." "You needto file apolice report tomorrowfirst thing." "Tomorrowit's myturn to cleanthe stairs." "Okay, I'll do them foryou." "By any chance... have you made dinner?" "Ljust couldn't drag myself to the store afterthe argument." "Weren't you going to go killyourself?" "I decided against it because it's getting chilly out." "Here, I'll see what I can do." "Fingerpower." "You smokefourpacks a day, two liters ofbeer, akilo each oflentils and garbanzo beans..." "And all at the sametime." "You'd eat the wholefridge ifit fit in yourmouth." "Have me committed, Mom." "Commit me." "Mom, commit me." "Leave me alone." "Commit me." "Mom, commit me." "Commit me." "Mom!" "What are you doing?" "This isn't yourstop." " You'll get fired." " Put me away orl'll kill myself." " Get on!" " No!" "I'll kill myself." " I can't hearyou." " It's over!" "Put me away orl'll kill myself!" "Put me away orl'll kill myself!" "What are you saying?" "Put me away orl'll kill myself!" " Yeah, like yesterday." " No!" "I'll do it!" " Get onthe bus." " Farewell, Mom!" "Wouldn't you know!" "I... killed myself." "But only alittle, onthe outside, just to showyou howbadlyl need help." "Yournonsense will kill me one ofthese days." "God's angel told Mary and grantedthe work ofthe Holy Spirit." "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you." "Rub harderorthe stains won't come out." "Blessed arethou amongst women and blessed isthefruit ofthywomb, Jesus." "Hail Mary, motherof God." "My sonJulian is now amental patient." "A real shame, losingthe extramoney he brought in." "Until he gets his partial worker's compensation," "I don't knowhowwe'll get by." "I am the Lord's slave." "Shape me withthyword." "Oh, Lord, shedthy grace upon us." "Throughthy angel's interventionwe have met the incarnation ofthy son." "You should havethis one committed as well." "You knowthe count doesn't like you bringing him over." "Amen." "Don't get up, Candida." "Lateryourback will hurt from standing up straight." "You must be careful at yourage." "And hurry up, there's apile ofironingto do." "Javi, showherthe prize lwon in a chocolate egg." "I got fined 10 euros forlosing my subwayticket." "Ataxiwould have been cheaper." "You're always makingtrouble foryourself." "The advantageto cutting the slices extrathin is whentheyfall, it gives youtime to catchthem beforetheyhit the ground." "Can I have an advance" " forthefine?" " Come on." "I've advancedyou money plenty oftimes andthe books don't add up." "And anotherthing," "I haveto takethe hours you missedtoday out of yourpay." "All in all, you make morethan agovernment official." "Yeah, but theywork sitting down and I'm on myknees all day." "Mymother's a widow and has no support." "Not like you." "Y ou havethe count to bringjoyto yourlife." "Joyto mylife?" "MyLuis Pedro?" "Trymaybe 30 years ago." "Oh, fine." "30 years without yourhusband giving you pleasure?" "Damn, 30 years!" "Thenforall practical purposes, you're a virgin again." "Look, Candida." "I'm goingto do some window-shopping to make myselffeel better andwhen I get back" "I don't want to seethis boyhere." "As long as you're going out, can you pick me up two packs of cigarettes?" " Aunt Marichu isn't upset, is she?" " No, no." "Backto ourgame, let's finish up." "One, two andthree." "Light infantry against knight, destroyed." "You haveto turn around." "Andwiththat column behindyou, you haveto withdraw all yourtroopsfrom the battlefield." "So my Christians win, likethey did inthe real" "Battle of Clavijo, inthe name of Santiago." "Santiago the Apostle?" "No, Santiago Carillo." "Give me abreak." "Of course." "Thefounderof Spain." "Tell me where you got this wallet." "Right now." "Itook it from the priest." "Are you happynow?" "Give it back." "Don't you know stealingfrom apriest is atriple mortal sin?" "Canwe help you?" "I have a confessionto make." " Hail Mary, full of grace." " Moritutite salutan." "But, my son, didyou have yourfirst communion?" "Yeah, but it was a civil service." "Okay, tell me what's bothering you." "What didyou do, son?" "Ltook a wallet." "Can I give it to you?" "Absolutelynot." "I don't want it." "What you must do is return it to its owner." "I already askedthe owner." "He said he absolutely doesn't want it." "Then you can keep it." "Okay." "Inthe name ofthe Father, the Son andthe Holy Spirit." "Go in peace." "And remember, you bringthe Lord joyin heaven." "That's what Iwas goingto say." "Hey, man, if you need anything, talkto mymom." "I 'm heading home." "I loved goingto the market." "Pure butter." " Youwant the head?" " No thanks, Paco." "There you could see animals, fish and minerals of all races, without differences in genderorsmell." "We'll settle up on Friday." " Go with God." " See you later." "Candida, darling." "How's thefamily?" "Hanging inthere." "The youngest is still at home." "A drug addict." "Always selling my stuff." "I can't take it anymore." "Lfit were me," "I'dtake his lazy ass out to the countryside to plant potatoes 12 hours a day." "That'd get him offthe drugs." "I have mackerel on sale." " Howmuch?" " 600 pesetas." "T hree euros." "You'd betterjust give me the headthat ladyleft." "I'll make somefish soup formy son." "He loves it." "All right." "They usedto show documentaries about the lives ofthosefish." "I likedwatchingthem." "But sinceJavi sold my TV," "I missed allthe interesting stuff ontelevision." "Hi." "How are you, Santi?" "Fine." " Hi, Pablo." " Hi." "MacarenaRivas from Marsans TravelAgency called 3times." "Shetriedyourcell phone but some clueless weirdo keeps answering." "What cell phone?" "It fell inthe sewer." "Why didn't youtell me so I could cancel it?" "Because I haven't hadtime!" "Look, Mom." "You see allthis?" "Some day, when I die, this will all be yours." "Are you stupid orwhat?" "Tell me wherethe TVis." "Come on, let's go." "You'd bettergo alone." "This is abadtimeforme." "Since when do you have a cell phone?" "You must have stole it." "No, afriend lent it to me so he couldtrack me down." "Then answerit." "Allthat ringing is a waste of electricity." "Yes?" " Who are you?" " Waaasssuuup?" "Asshole!" "Couldn't reach it, eh?" "Son of abitch." "He's too uptight." "All right, ma'am?" "Actually, myboy got stiffed andtheykept my TV." "Why don't you gentlemen help us get it back?" "Lady, not eventhe Big BadWolf goes inthat slum." "Iwant my TVback." "Go right ahead, but we can't be held responsible." "Local cops are such cowards." "So unlikethe national guard!" "Come on." "Let me borrow arifle at least." "Go on, scram." "To defend mymother." "Come on." "Showme where you soldthe TV." "Come on." " Where was it?" " There." "Come on, let's go." "Good afternoon, ma'am." "There's been amisunderstanding." "Boy sold my TVwithout my permission." "What are you saying, lady?" "There's no TVhere." "No?" "Andwhose TVisthat?" "Myhusbandworked his ass off forthat!" "Did he?" "Let's make sure." "I happento still have the remote control." "There you are." "One, two andthree." "It looks like the masterobeysthe dog." "The cops are up onthat hill." "Give it back orthey'll come down here andtake apart yourlittle house." "How about it?" "What didyou say?" "I'll gut you like apig." "My cousin gave usthis TV 4 or6 years ago." " I bought that TVmyself!" " Bullshit!" "I paid 120 eurosforit at the supermarket." "I still have 4payments left." "It's my only joy." "You'll haveto kill me..." "Howmuch willyou give me?" "The 20 euros you gave my sonforit." "And I don't have it on me." "So how about it?" "Silly Americans!" "Milk is healthy." "Formykids, it's ideal..." "I'dtake his lazy ass out to the countryside to plant potatoes 12 hours a day." "That'd get him offthe drugs." "Look, Mom." "Look what I pickedtoday." "Great, Javi." "Where's yourbrother?" "Rounding upthe cattle andtillingthefields." "Mom!" "Quite arabbit foronlythree people." "What do you mean, three?" "We're all here." ""Milk it does abody good."" "It helps myboys growup nice and healthy." "Iwant what's best formyfamily." "Wetrust nature." "W e drink milk." "MisterPablo was always in such ahurry he hadto look straight ahead allthetime." "Which meant he neverlooked at those who were on his side." "The dayl met him," "Miss Monica was just about ready to give up on him." "She was British, andthat very same day she decided to move backto New York." "They saythere's agreat woman behind every great man." "But ifthe great man doesn't turn his head, he doesn't realize." "And MisterPablo, usedto being anewscaster, always looked straight ahead." "Not so fast, Hipercor!" "You're so clumsytoday." "What do you expect?" "Lwas walkingthe dog when a carcame along..." "Don't remind lberico." "It upsets him." "You're worried about the dog?" "It didn't eventouch him." "I'm the onethat got flattened." "The carwasfantastic." "Goodthing I didn't scratch it." "The carisfine." "The driverturned out to be anewscasterl know on TV." "He was with his verynice wife, Monica." "She gave me herphone number." "I'm luckyl got run over bynice people." "Put some clothes on, wouldyou?" "Youtwo get along so welltogether." "Yeah, it's too bad we're kept apart by extenuating circumstances." "People are so cruel." "Poorthing." "He's freaked out from allthe commotion." "I'lltake him to the sea this weekend." "Can you believe it?" "Two years old and he's neverseen the sea!" "I haven't seen it either." "I've got mybucket here to splash around..." "But it's probablynothing like the big blue sea." "Hello, Candida." "Don't yourkids help you out?" "Oh, sister." "They showup like ants onthe 1st ofthe month." ""Mom, give me akilo of garbanzo beans." "Mom, give me ajug of oil."" ""Moneyforsmokes." But neveraroundwhen I needthem." "My daughter Trini, living in style, afancy car that looks like an airplane." "She says if she helps me, she can't help herself." "Andthis one..." "Look at him." "A wasted soul." "He needs ajob to straighten out." "No, Candida." "Not ajob." "He needsto stoptaking drugs." "I hope he will, sister." "He hasto want to." "There are some very good publictherapy centers." "If you can get him to attend," " he can go to arehab inthe country." " Wefilled out theform." "Right, Mom?" "But they saidthat without areference letter there's no way." "K ung Fu, aguyfrom myneighborhood." "He got in because his uncle's a sergeant inthe army." "You know, the ones who went to Bosnia." "It's allwho you know." "Oh, myboy." "Got any coconut yogurt?" "He's ahandful." "Look, Candida." "With allthe houses you clean and allthe places you go, you must know somebody." "Someone influential to get him a spot." "I hope we get lucky." "I'll get him startedwiththerapy." "He'd bettershowup." "I hope so, sister." "Thank you verymuch." "Come on, Javi." "Oh, my!" "Sure, youtoo." "Wait a second while I get a stimulant." " Willyou playthe song?" " No." "Poorthing, hefell asleep." "What happened?" " Do youthink I'm stupid?" " Yes." "Asleep again." "Okay, I'll play so that the witch goes away." "But you maybethe one to disappear." "Me, a witch?" "Takethat!" "Stop hitting me," "I'll play." "Shit." "It looks like... there's no musictoday because... some motherfuckerout there stole mytape player." "And ifl catch him..." "I'll smash his brains in, dammit!" "Hey, don't overdo it, man." "Take it easy." "Take it easy?" "Stop, you animal." "You'll kill my son." "He's the only animal here, lady." "Andforwhateverhe's worth, he'd be betteroff dead." "It's no big deal, Mom." "No big deal?" "It says here:" ""Court Summons."" "Asfaras I know, honest workers aren't summonedto appearing court." "It's probably about my expired driver's license." "I can't take it anymore." "I'd ratherdie all at once than alittle bit every day." "Youreye isturning black." "The puppeteerleft a smudge." "Poorthing." "Mom, you're hurting me." "Mom." "As soon as I record myfirst song," "I'll buy you abig house surrounded bymapletrees." "If youwant to give me agift, do likethe nun said." "Stoptaking drugs." "Iwant to quit, Mom." "Ljust can't." "Don't stare, you'll go blind." "Redheads are exactlymytype." "A redheadwith abig mouth." "Exactlymytype." " Handthe pills over." " They'refora cough." "What cough do you have?" "THREE MONTHS LATER" "Feeling guilty, Javi promisedto get ahaircut." "But the barberrefused." ""You knowhowlong it wouldtake?"" "Longerthan shaving a donkey." "You could burn it offfaster." ""I FLYSAFE."" "Then he wantedto try out for"Spanish Idol."" "And he wanted anewtrack suit." "Itold him, "When I see you've quit, I'll buy you one."" ""Mom, I'm alreadybetter." "Check out mylegs."" ""Javi, legs don't mirrorthe soul."" "Mr. Marzán!" "You look like you saw a wolf." "Excuse me, have we met?" "You almost ran me over, remember?" "Oh, yeah." "What are you doing here?" "Nobody answersthe number yourwife gave me." "Right." "Because I'm neverhome." "Thenwhyhave aphone?" "It's a waste of money." "Sure." "Can I help you with something?" "Yes." "I camefrom Madrid." "Can youtake me back?" " How didyou get here?" " Hey, lady!" "Don't tryto stiff me." "38 euros, allthe way from downtown." "Plusthe return." "We left the citylimits." "Madrid is prettierwhen you don't haveto watchthe meter." "Right, right..." "It's beautiful." "And my sonJavi's taking... apreparation class on drugs." "He needs arecommendation forthe rehab." "Y ou can get him one, right, son?" "He's agood boy." "You'll meet him when I start working at yourhouse." "Two days a week." "Two days a week?" "That might betoo much." " Just Wednesdays?" " Wednesdays?" "Here." "Forthat cough." "No, thank you." " Really." " Go ahead." "You cantakethem later." "Can myJavi sing on your TVshow?" "I like watching the news and stuff." "I readthe paperwhen I can." "Veryinteresting, Javier." "Which newspaperdo you read?" "I like LaRazón." "Here we go." "LaRazón?" "LaRazón?" "That's aright-wing paper." "How could ajunkie be a conservative?" "Spain is doing great." "How cantwo crooks like you say Spain is doing great?" "It's neverbeen easier to rob here!" "Spain isn't just doing great, Spain isthefucking best!" "Okay, all right." "We'll debatethis anothertime." "I'd liketo propose an exercise." "To quit drugs, it helps to change yourenvironment." "Yourneighborhood, habits, friendships..." "Like mymom, she wants me gardening inthe countryside." "Precisley." "But it's difficult, isn't it, Javier?" "Like ltold her." "It's pretty damn hard." "But... there is a way." "If we can't change where we live, we change ourselves." "Bullshit!" "Let me explain." "The ideaisthat starting now we stop beingwho we are andwe playthe role of a character." "Liketheater, but in oureverydaylife." " Iwant to beJimi Hendrix." " Right on." "It might be abetterideato pick someone who didn't die of an overdose." "All right, Javier?" "Juanfran, let's hearit." "Who is yourcharacter?" "Pontius Pilate." "Who knows who Pontius Pilate was?" "That motherfuckerwho almost took awayEasterbreak!" "Okay, okay." "Come on, sit down." "I'm sorryl left so suddenly." "I'm sorryl left you, mylove." "But look what I've brought." "We'll make agreat stew." "Neverleave me again." "You broke myheart." "Pablo, I loveto cook." "But forsomeone." "Youwere neverhome." "Youweren't the same Pablo anymore." "You'd changed." "Always busy, always something more important than ourlifetogether." "Look." "You likethe color?" "We'll paint the whole place." "Start over." "And get rid ofthat painting." "What's wrongwith it?" "It's depressing." "A nd ugly." "Tomorrowwe start painting." "Tomorrowl can't, darling." "I'm reallybusy." "Tryto understand." "I 'm in a very important careermoment on TV." "That's all right." "We'll paint the TVtoo." "What matters is beingtogether." " Monica?" "Hello?" " Pablo?" "Where are you?" " Pablo?" " Candida?" "I canfinallyhearyou." "I'm bringing my sonJavi over tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "But tomorrow's Thursday." "Didn't you cometoday?" "You see?" "I knewtwo days was better." "He's dyingto get started." "Right." "He can do anything." "Can he paint?" "WhatJavi needed was anice girlfriend." "He'd beenfooling aroundwith some drug addict he was crazy about who used him to fix up herdad's houseforfree." "He'd say, "Kiss me."" ""First changethefloortiles." "We'll kiss and get married."" "AndJavi changedthefloortiles." ""Kiss me."" ""First paint the living room." "We'll kiss and get married."" "AndJavi painted it." ""Kiss me."" ""First fix the leak inthe bathroom."" "FinallyJavi said enough was enough." "And shefreaked out and said," ""lwon't marry you anymore."" "AndJavi said, "Whynot?"" ""Because you didn't fix the leak inthe bathroom."" ""So what?" "We're not getting married inthe bathroom."" "She was bad news." "Love is something you reallymiss when you're in love." "MyJaviwas running around madlyin love allthetime." "He just didn't knowwith who." "A boy as happy as a cartoon rabbit." "And he'd neverheard those magic words:" ""I love you, Javi."" "Magic wordsthat would have pulledthe poorrabbit out ofthe hat of drug addiction." "The Chinese government will sell stock optionsfor 42top state companies to be converted into shares andtraded onthe market." " Bye, Flores." " Bye, Candida." "I knew alltoo well, asthe saying goes, that when Godtakes hold, yourdays are numbered." "But lwas determinedto rescue my Javifrom his black andwhite world and help him cross over to the colorful, bright, happyworld of TVpersonalities." "What do youthink ofthe job?" "Looks great, eh?" "He deservesfirst prize." "It's trulybeautiful!" "What the hell is wrongwith you?" "Are you nuts?" "What's yourproblem?" "I'm experimentingwith the spirit ofthe colors." "Careful." "Perception is more important thanthe work itself." "He's doing drugtelepathy." "Theytold him to role-play." "Since we're painting, he picked Pikachu." "Picasso, Mom." "Picasso." "I'm goingforamodern style." "But it's a clean job." "Of course it is." "Look." "V erynice." "How's that ham doing, pal?" "It's pretty good, it's just..." "But I like processed ham better, it's juicier." "T his one has" " allthisfat on it." " Myboyhas quite an appetite." "He's an eater." "Might as well, withthetrialtomorrow." "He's got to look healthy." "If you dress up and look nice, theylet you go." "If you look like a slob, theythrowyouto the dogs." "He has atrial?" "Yeah, tomorrow." "That's whyhe's going on aham binge." "In case he won't see any fora while." "Don't worry." "Nothingwill happento me, Mom." "Iflfinishthetherapy, they'll let me inthe rehab." "Mymothersaid you got me a spot, right?" "Yeah, more orless." "Don't be mad about the color." "You'rethe one who chose it." "Dammit, Candida, I said salmon!" "Salmon have always been gray." "Gray?" "Salmon is gray?" "At thefish counter." "Candida, please!" "I meant the colorof salmon" " onthe inside!" " I've neverseen one onthe inside." "Take it easy, take it easy." "Hey." "Don't I knowyou from somewhere?" "Maybefrom TV." "Iwatch it allthetime." "Sure." "But things haven't beenthe same since Hermidaleft." "Here, try a croquette." "They're homemade." "Does Monicalike croquettes?" "Actually, she lovesthem." "But she's inthe U.S. Right now..." "Look." "If youwant, you can send her mymother's recipe bylnternet." "The phone company will give you aflat rate." "To those hurt..." "To those hurt..." "To those hurt bylove." "Stop whining!" "Allyou do is whine all day!" "What didyou say?" "I neverwhined in mywhole life!" "Not whenthe rooffell in and not whenthey cut off mymom's breasts!" "Schmuck!" " Shut up!" " Youwant it louder?" "Shut up!" "To those hurt bylove!" " Allyou do is sing and drink!" " And lay downthe law!" "To those hurt bylove, dammit!" "Oh, Blasa." "Come in." "How can you let that filthy creep hit you likethat?" "It's nothing, I must have done it myself when I left in such arush." " Youwant somethingto drink?" " I don't know." "If you have something cool, like a Coca-Cola..." "It'll haveto be Pepsi." "Julian escaped and showed up with abeard likeJesus, holding afilethat recommended he betreated inthe emergencyroom." "It said: "Diagnosis:" "Paranoid schizophrenia." "Treatment:" "Modecate in vialform." "Signed:" "Public Mental Health coordinator."" "Fingerpower." "Julian, what are you doing here?" "I'm out." "W hy?" " What about the insane asylum?" " No, Mom." "I left." "T oo many crazy people." "What's wrongwith you, boy?" "The Martians are afterme." "They chase me with aknife andthey, andthey... theywant to kill me." "Theyhit me inthe back with ahammer andtheywant to cut me intwo and put one halfin each world." "Have you been drinking?" "No, ma'am, Mrs. Blasa." "Fingerpower." "The Martians won't let me." "But..." "Do you guys have hallucinatory states with self-referential delusions and general anxiety, orwhat?" " Probably." " Please." "A little bit of respect." "King Crimson..." "King Crimson's the Beethoven of ourtime." "Without his hearing problems, obviously." "Coveryourself." "Yeah, Beethoven." "I maybe yourneighbor, but I'm also a woman." " Good afternoon." " We have a summonsforyou." "You police showup without myhavingto call." "The boy's getting dressed, he'll be right out." "He got 4 years." "You read it, right?" " Who?" "Julian?" " No." "JavierRoman Caño." "He's yourson, right?" "He was alreadyin jail forcutting in line at amovie." "They grabbed him so quick he didn't even seethefilm." "It's totally unfair." "What an odd painting." "To get the whole picture you need cable." "He got five years in jail." "He went in clean and came out a drug addict." "Here I am busting myrear to get him clean again, andwith you setting up his spot inthe rehab..." "Yeah, yeah." "...and he gets busted fortakingtwo donuts." "Isn't he handsome?" "He always looks good in photos." "He's very photographic." "Candida, it says here he held up abakerywith a weapon." "With aplastic knife you use to clean yourfingernails while camping." "The bakergot spooked andthe kids ran out without paying to avoid a scene." "Don't worry." "W e'llfind alawyerwho will get him out." "I 'll handle it." "Thank you." "Good morning, Don Ricardo!" "And company." "You like it?" "A slipcoverforthe jug." "What do youthink?" "Totally gay." "Here, Flores." "Foryou." "Hot offthe press." "To what do I owethis honor?" "Nothing special." "No needto wait fora specific date to give agift." "It's the sheer" " pleasure of giving." " Hownice." ""Insidethe Closet."" "Do-it-yourself?" "It's about closets." "Read it, you'll really enjoyit." "Can Itake a swig?" "That's what it's therefor." "Here, drink." "Disgusting!" "Disgusting?" "It's tap water." "From this morning." "It tastes like man's sweat." "Mywaterdoesn't taste likethat." "It must be something you ate earlier and it's on yourbreath, that's all." "What happened?" "He swallowed a cell phone, ma'am." "My son." "How are you?" "I can't handle prison, Mom." "Iwant to leave and go to the rehab." "I know, but you can't do thesethings." "You knowhowmuchthose phones cost?" "You could ruinthe machinery." "Don't worry, it came out intact in hisfeces." "What fishies?" "It came out inthetoilet, Mom." "You can pick it up at the exit." "Okay." "Is it the right kind of magazine?" "You bet it is." "Brunettes are exactlymytype." "A brunette with a small mouth." "Exactlymytype." "You knowme so well." "Get well soon, son." "Flores." "When lfound out it was Mr. L uis Pedro's saint's day, lthought, how about alittle gesture." "He's alwaystreated me with so much respect andwho needs afixed date to take pleasure in giving?" "Giving is apleasure in itself." "Sure, lthought." "A pleasure." "Especially on such an important date when onefeels obligedto give." "Flores." "Come in, man, come in." "I like mine with alittle bite." "How about you?" "Just alittle." "It's niceto still have someone decent left inthe building to have a cup of coffee with." "There are some very strange people here." "You shouldn't have." "I chose it myself expressly forMr." "Count." "See ifl got it right." ""Insidethe Closet."" "Quite aNativity Scene." "What soldiers, what bodies." "It would lookfabulous with an embroideredtableskirt." "Inthe colors ofthe Spanishflag, naturally." "Candida." "Mr. P ablo, niceto see you." " Why are you here so early?" " Otherwise I'd miss you." "You're always at the TVstation." "It's like aghost lives here." " What's this?" " Tallos." "Tallos?" "Here in Madridthey say churros." "What arethey called in New York?" " What do I care?" " Because ofMonica." "Forget Monica, we'refinished." "Men sure are stubborn." "Why don't you surprise her with a visit?" "What, didyourhusband surprise you allthetime?" "Oh, myhusband." "Myhusband didn't take me anywhere." "Not to thetheater." "Neverbought meflowers." "Neverbought me a cake." "Nevertook meto dinner." "Just that onetime he showed up with afriendfrom work and said, "Here's some money." "Take yourmother-in-law andyour6 kidsto amovie."" "Lwent to the movie, it was called:" ""The Sound ofMusic."" "I hated it because it was about anun who flirts with alieutenant." "Garbage." "I hardly sawit." "At intermission I said to mymother-in-law," ""Let's go, I'm not feelingwell."" ""But it's not overyet."" "Lwasfeeling very sick." "I dropped something onthe stairs." "When I got home myhusband and hisfriendwere dancing around intheirunderwear." ""You ruined my day, you stupid bitch." That reallyhurt." "You can't imagine." "What an uglythingto say." "He looked so happy and lwas so upset." "And he called methat word." "That really got me." "Iwent inthe bathroom, sat down and alittle baby plopped right out of me, like ababyJesus," "with atinylittle pebble fora weenie." "Mymother-in-law stuck it in an empty coffee jar full of alcohol and put it onthe shelf." "I sawit every dayfor6 months." "It was so sad, it looked like a babyJesus, so tiny and handsome." "Sittingtherefor6 months." "Then I put it in amatchbox, took it to the cemetery, andwent every dayto visit the beautiful little boy." "What a shame." "Iwas goingto name him Pedro, after myfather, but I nevergot a chance." "I started bleeding like crazy." "I lost three dozen liters ofblood, an ambulance came, took meto the hospital andtied my pipes." "Myhusband came." "I said, "Listen here." "If youwant to be afatherand husband, you can stay." "Otherwise it's timeforyou to be on yourway." "Promises are madeto be kept."" "So he joinedthe Foreign Legion." "Dumped me withthe kids." "You said it, Candida." "Promises are made to be kept." "Nowwhat about that lawyer formy son?" "Yeah, I'm working on it." "Don't youworry." "A couple weeks in jail won't kill him." "Prisoners live like kings nowadays." "Yeah, like kings." "Anyway." "I sawyou hadtwo bottles of wine so I made you some sangria, alittle refreshment forwhen you get homefrom work." "Thanks, Candida." "Don't mention it." "So deep inside me the heat remains that warms myheart, yourlove remains." "So deep inside me" "I can stay alive, dieforlove, dieforyou." "Like waves searchingforthe seashore, like a sailorsearching forhis port and his home." "I searched my soul hoping I'dfindyou, and all lfoundwas loneliness." "Andthough you maybefaraway, so farawayfrom me, though othermen have kissedyou..." "Maybe, Gwendolyne, you still rememberonce upon atime we were in love." "You still rememberme." "I rememberonce upon atime youwere bymy side, you spoketo me oflove, my smile hadn't faded..." "I still rememberourlove, and now," "you leave me behind." "I rememberonce upon atime when youwere bymy side." "You spoke oflove, my smile hadn't faded..." "Evening, ma'am." "Yourphone line is cut, right?" "AUTUMN IN NEWYORK FOR 760 EUROS" "All right, already!" "Hello?" "Hello." " Pablo?" "Pablo..." " Hello?" "Pablo, can't you hearme?" " Candida?" " My sonJavi triedto kill himself." "What happenedto that lawyer?" "He's verybadlyburned." "It's amiracle he's alive." "He lit his mattress onfire." "Javi, what didyou do?" "Nothing, Mom." "I just did it to get out ofhere." "Enough nonsense." "I 'm taking you out ofhere right now." "Yeah, mymom told me." "Y ou're looking into allthe paperwork, isthat right?" "Thanks alot." "When I'm betterl'll paint yourbedroom an interesting color." "I've got anotherfish picked out." "Yourson's ahero, Candida." "Yeah, a warhero." "Tell me howl can help." "Well..." "Maybe you could put me on TV so I can sayhito mybrother." "I'll be heretomorrow with a camera." "You promise?" "I swear." "You can't send him backto prison inthis condition." "Don't worry, ma'am." "Interminal cases likethis they get sent home." "Turn right now." "Don't tell me what to do!" "I knowwhat it means to befaraway." "When Iwas 12the ladiesfrom Social Services separated mefrom mymother and sent meto aboarding school." "Thefive years lwasthere I never received a single letterorvisitor." "Not a single kiss." "Sundays I'd seethe rich kids huggingtheirparents and lfelt completelyleft out." "Excuse me, you're not allowed in here." "Iwas here yesterday, I promisedto come back." "You can't bring allthat in here." "Look, I'm Pablo Marzán..." "Yeah, Pablo Marsans, from Marsans Travel." "So what?" "You can't come in here!" " Where are you going?" " Hi, doctor." "Iwant to seeJavierRoman." "Iwas here yesterdaywith his mother." "I made apromise, and I haveto keep it." "You don't say." "He isn't here, I promise." " Theymoved him yesterday afternoon." " Where?" "I loved herso much." "She was everythingto me." "She was myheart and soul." "This isn't happening!" "Where has lifetaken me?" "I'd ratherstayhome!" "Where do I haveto go now?" "Who is it?" "Over." "Candida?" "Mymom's not here." "W hy?" " Are youJulian?" " Yes." "W hy?" "I'm lookingforyourbrotherJavier." "Theytook him away." "Over." "Awaywhere?" "Backto the hospital?" "No." "W hy?" "Awaywhere?" "To buryhim and stuff." "He died last night." "Why?" "Okay, overand out." "Wait, Julian." "Where's yourmother?" "She went to CityHallto see if she could get agrave." "When isthefuneral?" "I'm in ameetingwith the Martians right now, they're showing me commercials." "Come up andwait formymom up here if youwant." "Inthe name ofthe Father, the Son andthe Holy Spirit." "We commendto Thee ourservant..." "Javier." "Myboy died because he lost his life." "He was perfectlyhealthy, and he wastotalled like a car." "Nice people alwaysfinishfirst." "At least he was out ofthat cold prison." "He went out nice andwarm like aroasted chestnut." "My poorsweet little boy, God preserve his soul." "What's wrong?" "Isthere sound?" "We're in." "You're live." "I bet we'llfinish late because of him." "W hat the hell is going on?" "No idea." "I'm not getting apropersignal." "I'm not taking responsibility." "You're stupid." "Excuse me a second." "I have an interesting story forall of you." "This morningJavi died." "He was 22 years old." "Go to Sports!" "Close-up on Santi." "You're in!" "Barcelona will leave..." "Ronaldinho onthe bench against Betis..." "Does Ronaldinho like croquettes?" "The questionwhether they'll use Mesi ornot." "Allowmeto introduce myfriend Candida." "She makesthe best chicken croquettes inthe world." "What do youwant meto say, son?" "She'sJavi's mother." "A boywho wantedto be somebody, overlooked by afool like me." "Shouldwe cut?" "No way." "I 'm retiring intwo months." "Iwant this on myresume." "Give me a close-up ofthe old lady." "This is something else, Don Luis Pedro." "Nowyou've got afirst-rate Nativity Scene." "Isn't that woman your...?" "Nowl've seen it all." "The maid onthe news!" "We shouldn't be ashamed to saynicethings." "The world is ugly enough as it is without us ruining it." "Being nice doesn't cost money." "I've been scrubbingfloors and cleaning stairs all mylife, and everythingwashes away." "I neversaw a stain, no matterhowtough, that didn't come out with water." "You don't knowhowit feels to lose a child." "The world isfull oflonely people like my son who diedwithout love." "What those people reallyneed isto be kissed by someone." "Because kisses are soft like water." "Theywash away the stains ofloneliness." "If we just helped each other..." "This remote is apiece of crap!" "Not to disagree oranything, but that remote control was my cell phone." "Becausethetruth is, we all comefrom Adam's pork chop." "Take homosensuals, forexample." "It's nobody's fault they're likethat." "And people are so critical." "Always bad-mouthingthem." "Isn't that the lady who walks lberico?" "That woman can do anything." "I admire her." "They don't hurt anyone." "Forexample, I clean a writer's house..." "His name is Ricardo Aramendi and he lives onthe corner of Conde de Aranda St. And Serrano at number17, onthe 4thfloor." "Andto befrank, well... he's afairy." "Apparently he wants a young guy to move in." "Wherethe hell didthat bitch get the idea that I'm gay?" " It's nobody's business." " What are you laughing at?" "You'd betternot be behindthis, I'll sendyouto boarding school." "It wasn't me, Dad." "She's nuts." "Wait till Mom hears." "She'll usethis as an excuse" " to not let me see you." " Use what?" "I should knock yourhead off!" "Look at yourself." "You're a wreck." "Eversince Monicaleft you." "Why don't you go afterher?" "You spend all day on TV." "You're eating yourself up." "They saytoo much TV is badforyoureyes." "Give hera call, usethe company phone." "It's free, they pick upthetab." "Call her." " Hello?" " Miss Monica?" "It's Candida." "The woman you ran over." "What?" "You hit me withthe car, remember?" "Oh, right." "How are you?" "Don't hang up, holdthe line." "Monica?" "Monica, it's Pablo." "Pablo." "A nd I..." "I love you, Monica." "I love youwith all myheart." "When I get up inthe morning, inthe street at lunchtime, when I look out the window, when I dream at night..." "I love you allthetime." "You'rethe best thing that's everhappenedto me." "And I beg youto give me anotherchance." "He's in bad shape." "He's all in pieces, like Frankenstein." "He deserves anotherchance." "I'llfinish up and comefindyou." "Andtogetherwe'll go whereveryouwant." "Come live in suburbia, bythefreeway." "There's some great public housing." "Go andtake alook." "I love you, Monica." "Iwant to have kids with you." "Two." "Bettermake it four." "Two each if you get divorced." "Kids arethe joy of anyhome." "Okay, Monica..." "I love you." "I love youtoo, Pablo." "Anyway..." "That's enoughtelephone." "Pablo?" " Candida..." " She got the message." "Don't overdo it." "All right, ladies and gentlemen." "We're signing offfortoday." "Pleaseforgive the confusion." "P art of doing alive show, I'm afraid." "We leave youwith a special message from oursponsor." "I hope you enjoyit." "Put it in, dammit!" "Allthe lunatics inthe asylum went nuts whenthey sawJulian on TV." "Fellow Spaniards." "I have contacted the Martians." "I have bad news." "The Martians are idiots." "Myname isJulian." "Fingerpower." "I'm returningto the asylum at the request ofthe Martians." "I advise all of you out there to do the same." "Put yourselves away." "Okay, Pablo, buddy." "Isthat enough?" "And anotherthing." "I'd like everybodyto knowthat although I don't sufferfrom stress," "I'm a carrier." "Champion!" "Champion!" "All myneighbors congratulated me." ""You looked great on TV, Candida." "That was amazing!"" "A man onthetrain said," ""I recognize you, ma'am." "I've seen you onthe news."" ""Of course you recognize me." "I've been living herefor30 years."" "Lwas hopingto go home again, but without myJavi," "Julian committed and my mother-in-lawinthe hospital, who needed me?" "So lthought, "Enough already." "I can leave it all behind."" "Ltook Pablo up on his offer andwent to New York on an arrow-plane." "That looks like ice downthere." "Those are clouds, Candida." "Then ifthe skyis downthere, we must beflying upside down." "Maybethe pilot is deaf." "Somethingto drink?" "No, I can't." "I needto go to the bathroom." "Usethe lavatory." "No, I'm not budgingfrom here." "I got agoodwindow seat." "Someone might take it." "This womanwillflip inAmerica." "The ones who are goingto flip arethe Americans." "I can't believethe hats youAmericans wear." "In Spain onlythe Three Kings wear them forthe Christmas parade." "Wait here, Candida." "I'll go in and ask." "Isthat howyou're goingto ask at each house?" "American girls aretoo easy." "Well ifit isn't Miss Monica!" "You haven't changed." "A bit skinnier, but we'llfix that in no time." "You haveto teach me." "They're easyto make." "Thetrick isto breadthem twice so they don't fall apart when youfrythem." "Javi's dream cametrue afterall." "We importedthe recipeto America." "This is like living in an electrictrain set." "You like it, Candida?" "It's beautiful." "Americans are so nice." "Though not as hairy as inthe movies." "Yeah," "I saw"Planet ofthe Apes."" "American actors, andtheywere hairy." "Candida." "What wouldyou liketo do while you're here?" "Nothing special." "Whateveryou do here inAmerica." "Run!" "Run!" "Candida, run!" "Candida, stop!" "Look, forHipercor." "Life is great inAmerica." "This is like a dream forme." "You and Pablo have got it made." "Like Abraham and Eve in earthly paradise." "What's the surprise?" " Let's see." " Now." "We have afavorto ask." "If you need money, I'm broke." "If you can't affordthe country, start offing public housing like everyone else." " It's not that." " Thenwhat is it?" "Hold on." "Overhere." "You'll see." "If you like it, it's yours." "Ifl like it?" "It's onlymissing thethree chickens." " How can I everrepay you?" " With Visa, Mastercard, American..." "Hownice!" "It's my sonJulian." "He put in anew chip so he could call mefrom the hospital." " Hello?" " Mom..." "When are you coming home?" "Aren't you inthe hospital?" "I got out and stuff." "I got ajob and I miss you alot." "As a street cleaneragain?" "No, it's atravel gig" "I got from being on TVand stuff." "I'm with Grandma, she got out." "We bought you apresent." "Fingerpower." "Come home andyou can see it." "Okay, son." "I love you." "Take care." "I love you, son." "It's hardto make a dream cometrue." "But once you do, you've reachedyourgoal." "Then no more dreaming." "It's timeto wake up again." "Andwhen amother wakes up happy like I did last summer, she onlythinks about onething." "Tending herlittle chicks." "Candida, this isforJulian." " Thank you." " Hope he likes it." "Okay, Candida." "Right." "Let's have some beers and paint the housetogether." "Paint the house?" "I can't right now, Pablo." "I haveto finishthe sculpture forthe show." "Y ou'll have to take care ofthe house..." "Sure, that's life."