"Patterson's." "Man:" "What's goin' on down there?" "Dad?" "Harriet Priestly just called your mama." "Her husband drove by the store and said the lights were still on." "What are the lights still doing on?" "I'm cookin' the books as usual, Dad." "The sign, Guy." "The sign is still on." "Are we open for business all night now?" "No." "Sorry." "I, uh, I'll turn that right off." "Is that music playing on one of the store hi-fi's?" "I'll turn that right off, too." ""Turn that off, too. "" "Oh." "God." "Hey, beautiful." "Where you headed?" "You forgot all about me, didn't you?" " No." "I was headed there right now." " Liar!" "I caught you!" "Admit it." " We were all waiting for you." " Well, let's go back." "I'll follow you." "No." "It's late and I'm tired and I need to sleep... so I think we should go to your place and talk about this." "Mmm." "We go to my place, I'm gonna make out with you." "Okay." "We can do that too." "Uh-huh." "Mmm." "Say it." "Say it again." "I... am..." "Spartacus." "Oh, yes!" "Yes, you are." "Mmm." "Yes, you are." "You are Spartacus." " You know what I was thinking today?" " Mm-mmm." "We've been together for almost a year." "You got out of the army, then at Brisbane's Christmas party, we meet." "Then we had a little flirting period... until you saw the light and asked me out." "So almost a year total." "Except for those two months I broke up with you." "Yeah." "Almost a year... total." " Let's call it a year." " Okay." "Happy "anniversiary", Teen." "And how can we make tonight... special?" " Hmm." " Down, boy." "I'm going home." "I have my first appointment with my new dentist in the morning." "Oh?" "What happened to your old... dentist?" "Oh, he... retired or died or something." "So what does your dad think of those new ideas?" "What ideas?" "Well, moving the store to Riverside Plaza and doing TV commercials." "Oh." "Inventory was so goofed up today... and, you know, he was in no mood to talk, so I just... tabled that stuff till later." "Later." "Guy." "Is it good business to let these things stand in the way... for the sign to read, "Guy Patterson Appliances"?" " I don't think so." " I'd probably keep it "Patterson's Appliances. "" "You know, the name you trust." "Well" "I'm... going... home." "You keep... saying that." "Well, I mean it this time, so" "Come on." "Come with me." "Why don't you walk me to the door... so I can give you my patented night-night kiss?" "Dang." "Oh." "But I thought you already decided on The Echoes." "Nah." "Some band in Buffalo's The Echoes, and I wasn't wild about that." " Oh." "Let's just... call us The Band You're About To Hear." " How 'bout The Corvettes?" "Is that The Corvettes or The "Chordvettes"?" " No." "Corvettes, like the car." " Well, see, I was thinkin' like the chord." ""Chordvettes. " Like chords in our music." "No." "That's 10 cents." "Is that Skitch Patterson?" " Hi." " Hey there." "Morning, everybody." " Morning, Guy." " Well, here we are." "Erie's lone beatnik." " Hey, Guy." " Good morning." " Faye, I just... dinged your bumper." " Oh." " My sister's car." " Oh." "It is... a little scratch." "Yeah?" "It's okay." "She's away at nursing school, so she won't even notice." " I'm buying you breakfast." " Thank you." " I'm gonna buy all you kids breakfast." " Oh." " Cool." " God!" "Could've had steak and eggs." "Hey, you can run into my girlfriend's car anytime." "Hey, all right." "Yeah." "What about The Tempos?" "You know, tempos?" "Not The Tempos, tempos." "I was in a band already called The Tempos." "We were... terrible." " Hey, Guy, weren't you the drummer in The Tempos?" " Heard that." "I keep comin' back to The Herdsmen." " How 'bout The Big Tippers?" " I like it." "Oh, that's mine." "I got that." "Okay, Skitch." "You wanna experience shame tonight?" "We're playing the Mercyhurst College talent show." "It's gonna be hilarious." "Jimmy and The Herdsmen." "Chad gonna solo on "Wipeout"?" "Oh, you know, every song is "Wipeout" to Chad." " Thanks for breakfast." " See ya, Faye." "I gotta pass, but if you kids need any new wires or plugs, give me a call." "All right." "Well, you're gonna miss it." "College girls, coeds... by the fistful." " Oh, hey, my dad wants a roto-antenna." " Tell him to come by the store." "He already talked to a salesman at Tele-Mart." "That's a big mistake." "Lenny, those cats don't know squat about service." "Come on, honey." "Hey, hey, hey." "Lookin' good." "Hmm?" "Morning." "Don't we open at 10:00 on Saturdays?" "Yes, we do." "And it's a good thing." "Go talk to your sister." "Ask her what am I paying you for." "Hey, Dad, we should move the store to Riverside Plaza." "Don't you think?" "Uh, parking, steady flow of foot traffic... excitement of a new location?" " Hi, Mom." " Hi, dear." " Darlene." " We could throw a grand opening... that would give those clowns at Tele-Mart something to worry about." "What?" "Don't mention Tele-Mart, you idiot." "They're killing us." " Shut up." " No, you shut up." " Shut up right now." " Come over here and make me, fathead." "You know, like the flock that follows, but it's like "Herds" with a E-A." " So it's like "Heardsmen," so it's one of the six senses." " Right." "So it's spelled like that." "What do you think?" " Okay, "heard. " - "Heards. "" "I don't get it." "No, it's spelled like this, so it's "heards," so it's one of the senses." " Music. "Heards. "" " No, no." "Here, here." " I" " I don't get it." " Okay." " Yeah, do it." " Watch, watch." "Oh, "heard," like "hear. "" "Yes." "It's like "Heardsmen. "" " I still don't like it." " "Heardsmen. "" "Oh, no." "Oh." "Ow." "Guys?" "Chad fell down." " What happened?" " Oh, hey." "No, I'm all right." " Don't worry about it." "Yeah." " Come on." "People are lookin'." " What'd you hurt?" " My arm." " Get up." " Oh, my arm." " Oh, God." "Bad?" " Oh, good." " Are you okay?" " What are you doin'?" " You're not okay." " You're gonna get all dirty." " Do you want some help?" " No, I'm all right." " You sure?" " Yeah." " Okay, Venus?" " Okay, Steve." "Right." "Let's go." "Oh, hey." "Look at this." "See this?" "My grandma and I watched this." "Three weeks, we've been watching it, and last week, she realizes there's strings." "They're puppets." "Yeah." "They're marionettes." "That's what they are." "What can I help you with today, gentlemen?" "We have a big proposition for you, Guy." "You, uh, you still, uh, playing percussion?" "I told you he was, didn't I?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Every day." "We need you, Skitch." "How 'bout sitting' in for Chad, just for tonight?" "Why?" "Asshole... just broke his arm." "Let's check out these clock radios over here, huh?" "Oh, yeah." "Would anyone notice if Chad busted his arm?" "Ha ha." "These are the clock radios, fellas." "So... what's this tune?" "Well, it's an original that I wrote." "Hey." "We wrote." "It's nothing you can't handle." "It's just for tonight." "And if we win, we split $100." "Um... wow." "Playin' in a group again." "Man, that sounds like fun." "All right." "Here's the deal." "If you want these magic hands, you gotta buy two new record needles." "And this radio." "You serious?" "It's 14.95 on sale." "How about a washing machine too?" "Yeah, okay." "That swelling will go down in a couple of days... with cold compresses, 20 minutes at a time." "All right?" "I'll see you in a couple days." "Your new patient, Tina Powers, is here." "Hi." "Are you Tina?" "Tina, yes." "Yes, I'm Tina." "Hey, man." "Listen." "So it's verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, solo, verse, chorus, then out." "Sweet." "Is that the tempo?" "Think he can handle it?" "He can, or my name isn't Constantine de Montoya of Flanders." "Chad stayed on the high hat for most of it." " Did he now?" " Guys, Chad's arm is so scary." "I don't think I've ever seen anything swell up so big so fast." "Hey, Jimmy, don't take that personally, old man." "Hey, uh" " I gotta get back to the store, so let's get crackin'." "Uh-What do you want, somethin' like, uh" "Little slower." "One, two, three" " It's too fast." " Yeah." "Oh, yeah." " Whoa, whoa." " No, that's too fast." " Yeah, way too fast." " Yeah." "Slow down." "Slow down." "This is not a polka." "This is rock and roll." "Perfect, man." "Very good." "Took Chad a week to learn that." "Chad." "Who's Ch-Chad?" "Just one song, right?" "Jimmy:" "That's right." "One-derful." "Guy:" "I gotta go." "That's it..." "Guy Patterson." "That's it- The One-ders!" "And then, you know how, like The Beatles-The Beatles, they use an E-A as The beatles?" "Well, we can use an O-N-E like The One-ders." "You're talkin' gibberish." "No, look." "The One-ders." "Lenny." "Yeah, it looks like The O-neders." "No." "The-The One-ders." "Got it." "Looks like The O-neders." "Hey!" "You're drowning in the river!" "You're drowning!" "This is hardly a date, Guy." "I thought we were going to the movies and dinner at the club." "We're gonna cream these ladies." "Well, how long is this going to be?" "Guy, I've been looking for you everywhere." "You got to set up." "Oh." "OK." "Um... where are they?" "Um, right straight back, through the door, by the stage." "Great." "Tina, this is Faye." "Hi." "How long is this going to be?" "Um... you know, I" " I don't know." "I've never really been to one of these things before." "Nice to meet you." "Whoo-whoo!" "Emcee:" "All right, yeah!" "Listen to that applause." "What do you say, Miss Talent Show?" "Extra good?" "No!" "Super!" "Very good." "That definitely makes The Legends of Brass of Phi Kappa Epsilon way over there at Gannon College... our front-runners!" "Emcee:" "OK." "How are you, boys?" "You-You ready?" "No." "Emcee:" "Oh, well." "Hey, how do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?" "You're a jerkhead!" "You say," "" Hey, would you like to buy a chicken?" "!"" "Eat my shorts, captain." "Shut up!" "I'll kick your ass." "Are you ready?" "Ready." "Oh, yeah, just one, please." "Hi." "Have fun." "Emcee:" "This next group, they're all locals." "They call Erie home." "The..." "O-neders." "Girl:" "All right, let's go!" "That's "The One-ders. "" "1, 2, 3, 4." "That's too fast, Guy." "Slow down!" "Come on, come on." "Slow down!" "Too fast!" "Slow it down!" "Aw, come on." "That's too fast." "Aw, come on, Guy." "Aw." "Man, what's goin' on here?" "It's all right!" "You're a lucky man!" "Oh, my goodness!" "That was fantastic!" "That was way too fast, man." "It's a ballad!" "You're right." "No, it was great!" "It was great!" "Oh, that's wicked!" "That's sure wicked!" "The O-neders are the champions!" "Because they do That Thing You Do!" "That was great!" "That was great, you guys!" "Come over here." "I wanna talk to you." "You ever been to Villapiano's?" "What, the spaghetti place out by the airport that's been in the papers?" "Yeah." "I gotta have ya." "I just gotta have ya." "I want you playin' at my place next weekend." "What do you say, huh?" "Jimmy:" "Will there be money involved?" "I'll pay you 100 bucks." "How's that?" "Guy:" "We'll do it." "Yeah!" "Yeah, yeah!" "Ooh!" "Guy:" "I don't know." "It's like I could hear the beat in my head, you know." "Pull over!" "Hey!" "You guys are wicked!" "You even drive too fast!" "What are you doin' with him?" "He's a drummer!" "Hey, One-ders!" " Whoo!" " Whoo!" "I don't know." "I haven't played in front of people in so long, so I was nervous." "But it sounds better fast." "Jimmy wanted it slow, but he was wrong." "It's an up-tempo number." "And we won!" "ThatJimmy fella certainly has a gal pal in Faye." "They make a cute couple, huh?" "The only other band I was in was my uncle's band." "We played this wedding for free, and then we broke up." "This one gets a paying gig." "So, what are you doin' next weekend?" "Are you kidding?" "I'm gonna see my boyfriend's music group." "Award-winning music group." "Yeah, and you're playing at a restaurant out by the... airport?" "Villapiano's." "Why don't we go, uh, "C," "C," "A"" "No." "The way you just played it." " Why don't we- But why don't we hook it in "A"?" " No!" " No, the minor chord, the way you just played it." " Sandwiches." "I know!" "Why don't wejust listen to it in "A'"?" "Look, I wrote it the way you just played it." "It's a sad song." " Are they always like this?" " Yes." " Yes." " You should've seen 'em with Chad." " I'm not trying to change your song." " Terrible." " Yeah?" " Mm-hmm." " Oh, Faye." "Is this a bologna sandwich?" " Yeah." " Never, ever bring me a bologna sandwich again." "Ever." " Okay." " Ever." "Never." " Okay." "You can make your own sandwich." " That's only fair." " Bologna sandwich!" " All right." "... works just fine for The Beatles." "Yeah, well-We're gonna sound like the lads themselves?" "I mean, why are we even bothering with this song?" "It's for our encore." "Ed Sullivan calls us back for a chat." "All right." "Let's shove it." "We need somethin' slow anyway." "No, we don't." " I've been workin' on a ballad." " Oh." " It's called, "All My Only Dreams. "" " It's about me." "I've dragged you into hell." "I'm sorry." "Thank you." "Table 19, your pizza's ready." "Hey, when are you gonna play That Thing You Do?" "That's what we wanna hear!" "Uh, has our fame preceded us?" "Hey, we came here to meet girls and dance, and we can't meet girls until we dance!" "All right, this is an opportune time to pick it up a little." "All right, here's one for the kid in the back." "Let's dance!" "Hey, let's dance." "Let it burn." "Let her burn." "Let her burn all night." "Bring me out here in the doggone middle of the night to turn off the light." "Can't he ever get anything right?" ""Oh, no." "No, Dad, I'll-I'll be sure to turn the lights off. "" "Hell, he couldn't turn a light off at the house." "Why would he ever turn one off down here at the store?" "Know what that is?" "Presidential flash cards?" "A bonus." "Do you know why?" "I have no idea." "To entice you back." "The word is out on you O-neders." "Hey, that's O-nedders." "The door went up on your second set tonight." "People were callin' their friends to come down to Villapiano's." "Yeah?" "I'm gonna make a fortune off you." "I tell you" " Hey, don't even bother with the fake I.D.s." "Villapiano's is closed." "Lance!" "Lance." "Like, so whatever happened to Tina?" "Um, she had to help her mom with a Tupperware party, making food." "Well, she better get herself down here next time, 'cause all the girls were talking about you guys in the bathroom." "Yeah?" "I almost slugged some girl called Chrissy." " Chrissy Thompkins?" " Short brown hair." "Wait." "What did I miss?" "Who is she?" "Oh, gray polka-dot dress, nursing a beer, over by the photo-booth." "Stayed for both sets." "Wait." "Where was I?" "Oh, playing songs on my guitar." "Here you go, kids." "On the house." "She had her eye on myJimmy." "Hey, three stooges, come on, out." "She had some fine things to say about our drummer as well, though." " Get out." "What'd she say?" " I don't know." "Hey, guys." "I don't mean to interrupt." "I just wanna say that, uh, love your song, love that music." "I wanna know where I can get the record." " Outside." " Hey, pops!" "Pops?" "I'll give you a pop." "Hey, wasn't that our fan?" "Hey, what do you guys think about that?" "Faye:" "What?" "Maybe we should make a record." "Like, actually make a record." "A record-record record?" "Yeah, that's what I mean." "Not one that we'd play." "Yeah, I mean, we could, like, sell copies of them right here for a buck apiece." "There's a sound booth at Tele-Mart that we could use." "No, that's for, like, two people." "That's for birthday greetings." "You're talkin' to Spartacus here." "I happen to have a relative in the record industry." "Ooh." "Uncle Bob?" "Uncle- who's Uncle Bob?" "He records church music." "Choirs, favorite sermons, stuff my mom listens to." "So could he record our music?" "Guy:" "Maybe." "Wouldn't do it for free." "And we'd have to watch our language." "That was swingin', man." " Swingin'?" " Swingin'." "That's good, right?" "Swinging's good?" " I think it was still too fast." " Are we done?" "Thank you, Uncle Bob." "Thank you very, very much." " Say hi to your dad for me, huh?" " You got it." "What about "All My Only Dreams"?" "I gotta be in Buffalo at 7:00 and record a children's choir." " We only got that one take." " Hey, Uncle Bob." "When are we gonna get these records?" "Uh" " Luke 21:19." " "In your patience possess ye your souls. "" "Luke." "Who's Luke?" "When are we gettin' the record?" "Wednesday." "What about the "B" side?" ""All My Only Dreams" on the "B" side." "We need it for the "B" side." "Come on." "It won't take very long." "Uncle Bob, please!" "I" " I can do it in one take." "Just one take." " One take." " One take." "Kelly, come on." "Come on!" "Hey, these are The O-neders?" "No." "It's The One-ders." "The One-ders." "O-N-E." " But the band is playing here tonight?" " Yeah." " They made a record?" " Yeah." "Neato." "Here, your change." "Thank you." "Girl:" "So you mean, you can see me from up there?" "Oh, crystal clearly." "You've been here every night." "You know, you guys are way better than anything." "I told my parents I was going over to my friends'" "Bobbie and Joanne- to study, but I didn't." "I came here, instead." "I'm stooping to subterfuge for you guys." "Hoo hoo." "Subter" "Hey, uh, Skitch, your girlfriend just walked in the door." "Oh, great." "Tina made it." "I'll handle this." "Don't worry." "Thanks." "Hi." "I'm Lenny." "Hi." "What's your name?" "Chrissy." "T. Hey." "You came!" "As promised." "Hey!" "And look." "New dancing shoes." "Ah." "You look great." "Yeah, he's got a very pretty girlfriend, doesn't he?" "Is it serious, do you know?" "Very serious." "I'm single." "What about the bass player?" "He's married." "Is it always this smoky?" "Hey, Ringo, it's showtime." "Come on, you should've been on five minutes ago." "Whoo!" "Thank you, Erie, P. A!" "Wow!" "Thanks, Guy!" "Oh, great!" "Yeah!" " Come on." " Hey, it's a riot." " Thank you." " No, no." "This means that they want an encore!" " Oh, yeah, right!" " Yeah!" "I need you down here right now." "I got a riot goin' on." " Wait." "A riot." "Get down here!" " Faye!" " What?" "Let's go!" "Come on!" " Get the records, Faye." "Faye." " What?" ""Though no arrests were made... the lounge's owner and manager, Anthony "Flipiano"" ""Villapiano. '" Tony Villapiano." " Went to high school with your mom." " Went to high school with Mom." ""blamed the riots on rowdy fans of the popular local musical group"" ""The 'O -need-ers"'" ""who were performing nightly." ""The damages included broken chairs, tables, glasses, windows... and an ice machine. '"Oh, no." ""Two fire extinguishers were actually stolen. '"" "Junior?" "What'd you do to those extinguishers?" "Hey, uh, Junior." "M-Maybe next time, You oughta sing "Jailhouse Rock. '"" "How 'bout "Workin' on a Chain Gang"?" "How much of that window space you planning to take?" "Let me see that paper." "See what Tele-Mart's up to here today." "Oh, here-here's somethin'." "Look here." "Hey." "Come on in." " A shoe-polisher kit." " Me?" "People can't even get a brush and a rag out and shine their shoes anymore." "They gotta have a shoe-polisher kit." " They wanna get an appliance" " Can I help you?" "Y" " Y-You're the drummer, aren't you?" "Of that group I heard last night, uh" " Uh, down at Villapiano's." " Yes, I am." " Phil Horace." " Guy Patterson." "Do you wanna buy one of our records?" "They're on sale." "I don't wanna waste any more of your time." "Would you step into my office, please?" "Oh, boy." "Movie cameras now." "Movie cameras." "Jiminy Christmas." "Look here." "Barbecue grill for 7.89." "What is it- appliance store, hardware store?" "You don't even know." "They got everything." "They got it all." "You know, Guy... one of the good things about your group is there's a nice, natural, raw quality." " I like that." " Thank you." "And I wanna tell you, I've been around." "And I think this... is a hit record." " Open on Sunday from 12:00-6:00." " Yes, dear." "You know, I don't believe I wanna live in a country... where you have to stay open on Sunday to do business." "You shouldn't have to work on Sunday to support a family, should you?" " No, no." " Hmm?" "Let's put that paper away." " Let's just take that right now." " Let's get it out of here." "Now I found that a hit record is like a stew." "All the ingredients have to cook together just right." "Otherwise, it's just soup." "Not too early in the day for one of these, I hope." " I'm thirsty." " I'm not sure about this." "It's a standard management contract." "Says if I do my job, you guys make money." " How do we make money?" " Yeah, how?" "You gonna wrangle us up some dances at roller rinks, Youth for Christ jamboree" "Rock and roll shows in Steubenville, Youngstown, Pittsburgh..." " places like that." " Really?" " Yeah." " Pittsburgh?" " Steubenville." " Yeah." "And how would you like to hear "That Thing You Do" on the radio?" " I'd love to." " Um, sure." "Then leave it to me." "And here's your guarantee." "If I don't get this record going- and I mean serious radio airplay inside of a week, 10 days at the most- we'll tear this up." "And I'm no longer your manager." "I don't know." "I'm reluctant to sign anything that has to do with my music." "What, are you crazy?" "A man in a really nice camper wants to put our song on the radio." "Give me a pen." "I'm signing." "You're signing." "We're all signing." "Hey, do you have something to drink besides beer?" "Uh, yeah, I think there's some soda pop under that blanket." "To be honest with you, I can't get enough of that intro." " Guitar, drum thing" " What in the world is goin' on in here?" " Mr. Patterson." " Mr. Patterson." "Lenny, is that a beer?" "You drinking' beer?" " Guy!" "What are you doin'?" " Hey!" "What's that, a big ol' firecracker?" " Let me get that off" " What are you guys doin' here in this" " Phil Horace." "Glad to know you." " How do you do?" "You mind movin' this?" " Movin' it right out." " Tryin' to do some business here in the store." "Where did all those boys go?" "Get those boys back here, Guy." "I wanna talk to all of you!" " Good morning, Tina." " Good morning, Doctor." " How are you?" " So give it to me straight." " Will I live?" " Well, you are in luck, Tina dear... because I am a specialist, and you have a problem with your number 15 molar." "Hey, April, can you change the station, please?" "Dippity-do." " Did anybody hear anything?" " No." " Nothing." " No." "Not our record." "I was up till 3:00 a. m. last night, listening up and down the dial." "Nothing." " I think this Horace is a crook." " Jimmy, wait a second." "Crook?" "Crook." "You may have something there." "In simple terms, he's done nothing for us." "Nothing." " He said give him a week." " Ten days." "Five working days is... two weeks." "You guys never should have signed anything without a lawyer." "My dad would've looked at it for free." "It could be that we're missing it, so..." "Christmas in July." "Huh?" "No way!" " Aw." " Courtesy of Patterson's appliance center." " Junior radios." " T'anks, Mr. Kringle." "I was gonna get one of these." "I asked for a BB gun, and I've been good." "I think that if we listen to different radio stations, we're bound to hear it." "Hey, guys." "How's it goin'?" "How you doin'?" "Oh, Chad." "Hey." "Hey, Chad." " Aah!" "See those ladies over there by the stove?" "Get that thing out of your ear and get over here." "Put the hamburger away." "You can eat anytime." "Come on." "Come on!" "Hi, ladies." "Radio:" "That's The Vicksburgs with Drive Faster." "WJ ET hit-time, 10 minutes past the hour." "Hey, here's something new." "A local Erie band's got a new record out." "Just won the Mercyhurst talent show a couple of weeks ago." "This is Erie's own..." "The O-neders!" "Oh, my God!" "Aah!" "We're on the radio!" "The radio's playing That Thing You Do!" " Aah!" " Aah!" " Aah!" " Aah!" "Comes in beige, classic white, avocado..." " Aah!" " Aah!" "Oh, my God!" "Guy!" "Guy!" "Turn on the radio!" "They're playing it!" "OK." "Turn it on." "Son, you wanna get your cotton-pickin' mitts off that!" "Yeah!" "Did you hear it?" "Huh?" "Yeah." "Yes!" "We're on the radio!" "Put that down." "That is a very expensive floor display." "Patterson's Appliances." "What?" "Yes!" "We're listening to it right now!" "Yes!" "I am Spartacus!" "Oh, I can't believe I missed it." " Did you listen to the radio at all today?" " Yes, and" "No, not really." "I had it on as background music." " Well, it played three times this afternoon." " So you said." "But it's not like I haven't heard your song, Guy." "I have." "I'll bet they'll play it all weekend, so..." "listen to WJ ET." "Oh, this weekend." "You will not believe what I have to do." "I'm getting the crown replaced on my number 15 molar." "It's-It's gonna take, like, all day tomorrow with the dentist." " All day?" "At the dentist?" " Mm-hmm." "That sounds like H-E double toothpicks, hon." "Get it?" "Ha, ha, ha." "Man, I'm giddy." "Yes, well, giddy boy, I'm tired, so... talk to you soon." "Don't work too hard, okay?" "Oh, I never do, 'cause..." "I... am..." "Spartacus." " Hello?" "Mmm!" "Oh, you!" "We heard it." "We heard it." "It was on J.E.T. three times." " You like that?" " Yes." "We went nuts." "Even my dad was impressed eventually." "I mean" "I tried to call you, but, um, well, you're in that camper." "Well, after I visited some of my friends in the local radio scene..." "I took in a couple of hours of fishing'." " You ever go fishin'?" " No." "Oh, you gotta learn to fish." "It's where I get all my thinkin' done." "But enough about me." "Got a question for you." "Okay." "Where are your pals?" "Get 'em up." "We're movin' out down Pittsburgh way." "Why?" "Big rock and roll extravaganza that's gonna feature The Oneders." "Don't look so shocked." "That's what managers do." "I ca" " I got my job." "Oh, yeah." "You work... here." "Can you take tomorrow off?" "Yeah, I suppose so, uh, if I finish up tonight." "Conscientious." "I like that." "But look." "If you get a jump-start on the mornin', all gassed up... the four of you should have no trouble gettin'to the matinee in plenty of time." " Uh" " Um" "Oh, wait." "There's five of us" " Faye." "She's gotta come." "She's been with the band longer than I have." "You can tie her on the roof rack for all I care." "We leave at dawn." "You and your pals are goin' to Pittsburgh!" "Pittsburgh." "Okay, boys." "Come on in." "They're expectin' us." " Can we get some food, Mr. Horace?" "Yes." " You hungry?" " I'm hungry." " Okay, Faye." "You're available." "Here's some money." "Couple of blocks down on the right, there's a diner" "Boss Vic Koss." "Who is he?" "He's the main man around here." "Okay, you kids stick together." "I gotta go see a man about a dog." "Very funny." "Breakfast on Horace?" " Uh, steak and eggs." " Oh, wow." "That's us." " Oh, wow." " Yeah." " Hey, excuse me?" " What?" " How many seats does this place hold?" " 2,203." "I gotta clean up every one of'em." "Skitch!" "Hey." "How many people you think this place holds?" "2,203." "Skitch?" "I'm either gonna cry or wet my pants." "Hey, Jackie Gleason played here." "The Great One?" " Kingston Trio." " Mm-hmm." "Bunch ofbanjo pickers." " Peggy Lee." " Chubby, but I like that in a woman." " Wow." "Del Paxton." " Who?" "Del Paxton." "Del Paxton?" "Where?" "Gimme a pen." "I'm signin' my name right next to his." "Get in there, you little vixen." "'Scuse me." "You pricks are in the wrong dressing room." "Oh, yeah?" "And who do you think you are, Boss Vic Koss?" "Abby, why don't you talk to Peaches, find out where these monkeys belong." " Yes, Mr. Koss." " You." "Get up and put those shoes on." "Yeah." "Those shoes." "Big cigar smoker, are ya?" "Put those back where you got 'em." "Now!" "George Mikan Jr." "What are you, 6 feet 100?" "Get away from me." "That way." "Light a match in there." "My God." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Let's go." "You and your idiotic mouth." "Boss Vic Koss is an asshole." "Shh!" "You wanna get us kicked out?" "He can't hear us." "We're in a friggin' bomb shelter!" "If the big one happens, we're gonna be okay... because we are a mile beneath the crust of the Earth." "Would you shut up!" "So, how long you been workin' with Mr. Koss?" "Too long." "I hear he's a very important man." "He thinks so." "I'm, uh, the drummer with the Oneders." "I'm the secretary with the asshole." "Hello." "Wait." "Hold on." "Just a second." " What?" " Just a second." "Wait, wait, wait." "Is that food?" " No." " It isn't food?" "I smell food, and there is no food allowed in the theater." "There's no food." "There are signs out there." "This is my theater." "Hey." "She's with us." "She's with The Oneders." "She's our lawyer." "All right." "All right, Mr. Big Shot." "Whatever." "If she spills it, it ain't her butt in the ringer." " "Lawyer. "" " Mmm." " Thank you." " Oh, thank you." " Hey, you know how many seats there are in this theater?" " How many?" " 2,203." " Wow." " Yeah." "I wish Tina could see this." " Why can't she?" "She's, uh, getting dental work done." " She's gonna be too woozy to make the drive." " Wow." "Are you nervous?" "Uh, no." "Mm-mmm." " Playing such a big place?" " Mm-mmm." "Showbiz, Faye." "You know?" "When you're in a band... you gotta learn to stare down 2,200 screamin' fans... and say, uh, boo!" "I'm just tagging along and I'm nervous." "What do you mean, tagging' along?" "You're one of us." "You're a Oneder." "Why?" "'Cause I carry the food?" "Wonderful food carrier." "No, no, no." "You" " Lots of things." "You're on the record." "Your hand claps are very important to the song." "And you were present at the very birth of a band." " You named us." " No, You named the band." "No, I said something that made sense to no one but you." "You had, like, a cosmic force bolt through you... and that's what gave us an identity." "Wow." "I never really thought about it to that extent." "You are one Oneder, and we will be wandering woefully without one woman such as you." " Wow." " There's my girlfriend and the food." "H" " Hey!" "WITI radio calendar reminder." "Boss Vic Koss, the Three Rivers mattress king... presents a cavalcade of rock and roll stars... live and in person at the majestic Orpheum Theater." "Two big shows with The Vicksburgs, Elizabeth Anne..." "The Hollyhocks and many, many others." "From the man who gives you the $21 blackjack sleep set special... all you have to do is say, "Hit me, Boss Vic Koss. '"" "Vicksburg and the Pittsburgh." "Vicksburgs and Pittsburghs." "Abby, the rub." "Give me the rub." "Ba ba ba ba ba ba mum mum ba ba." "Um mum mum ba ba." "Ba ba." "Ladies." "How're my boys?" "Ready to show Pittsburgh no mercy." "Hello, Pittsburgh!" "Hello, Pittsburgh, hello." " Boss Vic Koss." " Boss Vic Koss." "Who am I?" " Boss Vic Koss." " Boss Vic Koss." "Thanks for remembering, Pittsburgh." "We got a great show for you today." "A big show, a king-size show!" "Which reminds me, how're you sleeping?" "Who's gonna hit me?" "Hit me!" "Hit me!" "You gonna hit me?" " Hit me!" " Hit me!" "Who's gonna hit me?" " Hit me!" " Hit me!" "All right!" "Let's go!" "We gotJon D and The Walkers." "We got The Hollyhocks." "We got The Vicksburgs in Pittsburgh." "But first it's time to fix that solid not broken heart if we're gonna shake, bake, and make with Lake Erie's own..." "The O-neders." "Fire one up." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Thank you." "Hey, hey!" "The mike's not on." "We-The mike's not working." "The mike's not working." "All right." "Who am I not paying back here?" "Come on." "Man:" "Let's here it." "Come on!" "Man:" "Come on!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "We're The Oneders." "The Oneders?" "You know they're The Oneders?" "It said The "O-Need-ers. " I said The "O-Need-ers. "" "Two" "Forget it." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Right now!" "Look, Guy, I keep telling ya." "You are the drummer." "You're the backbone, the timekeeper." "You can't let a tepid reaction from one matinee house affect your dedication to the band." "I was playing like one of those wind-up monkey toys." "They booed us off the stage." "Jimmy couldn't even hear how off-key he was." "You're gonna get it all back tonight, I promise you." "You know what you need?" "You need to sample the exotic cuisine of the Far East." "What do you say?" "Come on." "I'm buying." "Well, son of a gun." "We're right on time." "Here's somebody I want you to meet." "Mr. White... this is Guy Patterson." "Hi." " Sit down." " How are you?" "Mr. White is with Play-Tone records." "He just happened to be in town this week, and he caught the show this afternoon." "Oh, great." "Nevertheless," "I think he wants to talk business with you." "Well, I have heard your record, Guy, and I like it." "I like it a lot." "That Thing You Do, you know, it's snappy." "Yeah, snappy." "It's a hit record." "We'd like to release it." "And add The One-ders... to the Play-Tone stable of artists." "Just like that." "Well, some papers will have to be signed, and you'll have to get me the master recording tapes, and you will have to say good-bye to Phil here." "Wait." "No." "Phil's our manager." "Not anymore." "My bird-dogging is done." "Play-Tone's gonna take real good care of you." "Uh, what if we don't wanna be with Play-Tone?" "I don't know, no offense." "None taken." "You want to stay in Pittsburgh and play to the Three Rivers crowd," "Phil here is your man." "No, no." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "Guy..." "Play-Tone has a show touring state fairs." "This is the big time." "The full bore." "This is a rock 'n' roll tour that will feature The One-ders provided you quit sitting on your brain." "We'd be on tour?" "Yeah!" "A tour?" "With other stars of the Play-Tone galaxy." "I have to talk this over with the rest of the band." "See what I mean?" "Smart." "Very good." "Next... this One-ders with the O-N-E... it doesn't work." "It's confusing." "From now on you boys will just be simply The Wonders." "As in I wonder what happened to The O-neders?" "That's right." "Play-Tone will release the record nationally, but you'll be doing an awful lot of promoting as we go, so be prepared." "All My Only Dreams is on the "B" side?" "Mm-hmm." "We only got one take of that when we did that in church." "Could we rerecord that?" "I don't think so." "I think it's great just the way it is." "We are gonna get you some new clothes." "Matching suits, nice suits." "Nice, because you are nice boys." "Except maybe for you." "So when do we cut our next record?" "Touring is the priority, um, Jimmy." "We're gonna meet up with the rest of the Play-Tone gang in Columbus as soon as possible." "We'll be out on the road with 'em until Labor Day." " Not me." " Is this a mutiny already?" "No, see, um... well, I joined the United States Marine Corps back at home." "So, um..." "I have to report to South Carolina at the end of August, which means I have to leave the band at the end of August." "But you will stay with the band until the end of August?" "Yes, sir." "OK, next, uh..." "who is Faye?" "Uh..." "Faye's sort of, uh, like my girlfriend." "Oh, that is so sweet." "You want her on tour?" "She's your costume mistress." "All right, boys, do better tonight than you did today." "I'm gonna go up and have a chat with Boss Vic Kosslovitch, make sure your mikes work this time." "Ah!" "Guy... see what the world looks like through those." "And you..." "Semper Fi." "Percussionist Foster Grant." "Well, you're an adult, so go on." "Go on off and bang on your bongo drums as long as you like." " It's just for the summer, Dad." " Yeah." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." " I'll drop you a line." " Yeah." "Mm-hmm." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You do that." " Tell Mom I love her." "I'll tell her." "Well, Mama... your son who loves you just left us in the lurch." "Darlene, you just got promoted." " You mean, you're gonna start payin' me?" " I didn't say that." "Oh, hi, folks." "How you doin'today?" "Oh." "Must still be at the dentist." "Whoo." "Okay." " I'm getting good, huh?" " You're gettin' real good." "We're gonna have some fun." "Oh." "Oh, yeah." "Oh." " You're funny." " Whoops." "Oh!" " Watch it!" " Let me get that for you." "Hey, baby." "How you doin'?" "Isn't it about time you got goin'?" "Special moment for any recording artist." " It's our record!" " Wow." "Wow, wow, wow." "It's black, got a hole in it." "It's got grooves." "It's a Play-Tone record." "Hey, you're missin'somebody." "Guy, where's your bass player?" "Oh." "He went sniffing' around The Chantrellines' bus." "Guess he's tryin' to get a glimpse." "Big crush on them sirens." " Hey!" " Yeah." " What are you doin'?" " Um" " The Chantrellines, they on this bus?" " They sure are." "You know what?" "We gotta go check your bass." "One of the stagehands might have dropped it." "Diane Dane." "Diane" " Diane Dane!" "Diane Dane!" "We love you." "I had my first boy-girl thing." "It was for a picture of you on a record sleeve." "Yeah, charming." "Excuse me." "Diane Dane!" "Really, honestly, you were very important to me." "You The Wonders?" "We sure are." "And you're Freddy Fredrickson." "Aw, this is too much." "I heard your tune in sound check." "It's catchy, man." "Thanks." "First record I ever bought was Theme From Mr. Downtown." "Wow." "You sing better than I do." "OK." "I'll see you out there." "Hey, Freddy!" "Here's our record!" "Guy, where are your sunglasses?" "Where're your sunglasses?" "Faye!" "Faye!" "Faye:" "Yeah?" "Find Guy's glasses, his sunglasses, quick!" "The portly gentleman sniffing his stogy is K.O. Bailey." "He's Columbus' second most popular disc jockey." "Well, he's the biggest cootie I ever saw." "If he likes what he hears, he's gonna play That Thing You Do tomorrow morning with 50,000 watts behind it." "It's very important you don't stink today." "Hey, I make no guarantees." "We bow, right?" "In unison." "And we're off the stage before the applause dies out, right?" "What if they want an encore?" "You unplug and you run, run off stage... smiling, smiling of course." "Here you go." "Here." "No encores!" "Guy, keep these with you." "Put 'em on." "Put 'em on." "There you go." "From now on, you have them with you day and night." "They're your trademark." "You look good in 'em." "You guys look great in red." "Have I told you that, yet?" "You have your pick?" "Right here." "All right, this is it." "If the crowd doesn't go wild for you, don't worry about it." "They will tomorrow." "Thank you, Ohio." "All right." "Timing is everything on the entrance." "Fix his jacket so it doesn't pouf up behind." "Let's give a big welcome to the latest addition to the Play-Tone galaxy of stars." "That's it." "Go, go, go, go!" "Let's watch." "Come on." "The Wonders!" "There you are." "Right here." "Well, take us there, Skitch." "The Billboard Top 100?" "Look." "Number 93." "Oh, my God." "Doin' that thing they do." "The Wonders!" " Mm-hmm?" "Mmm." "Oh, my God!" " I know this song." " Oh, is it hurting again?" "No, the radio." "I know this song." " Must have missed a nerve." "Uh, talk about this latest record." "It's our first record." "We wrote it in my garage in Erie, Pennsylvania." "I'll wager that the kids and fellas here... and all the folks at the fair... are showing you a time like you never had." "Oh, I'm not here with these fellas." "I got a pig in competition over at the livestock pavilion... and I am gonna win that blue ribbon." "Hi." "Um, Dad." " I'm your man." " That's what I like to see." " Yeah." " You look like a good guy." "What about this?" "Oh, this is gonna be no problem." "I'll work as hard as anybody else." " Are you sure?" "We got some heavy lifting here." " Oh, yeah." "I can do it." " You're on board." " Hey." "Thank you, Illinois!" "The land of Lincoln!" "I wanna" " I wanna show her That" "That Thing on the chart." "OK." "I'm gonna have to do some stuff." "Go on." "OK." "Wish me luck." " Good luck." " All right." "You got any... 3s?" "Go!" "Why it looks like Lenny's goin' fishin'." "You're Bobby Washington!" "You're the Bobby Washington." "Yeah." "You recorded with Del Paxton on Live at the Philadelphia JazzJunction." "I got that record." "That's me on the drums, man." "What was it like to record with Del Paxton?" "Miss Dane, hi." "I'm James Mattingly from The Wonders." "Oh, yes." "Hi." "Nice to see you." "Did you know we became 21 in Billboard?" "Faye, what is Jimmy doing at Diane Dane's table?" "He's showing her how the record made number 21 in Billboard." "A record actually climbing the charts." "She'll be chartreuse with envy." "I'll have another one of these with no straw." "Yes, sir." "I've played a lot of cards." "Obviously." "Wanna see my deck?" "See?" "You gotta be quick." "You gotta be quick with me." "I'm from Erie, P.A." "Cheers." "Tell me something, Faye." "How long have you and Jimmy been you and Jimmy?" "21/2 years." "Whew." "Now, that is a long time." "He's amazing." "Amazing." "He is." "He's amazing." "Now, what about Guy there?" "Does anybody at home think he's amazing?" "Yeah, he has a girlfriend back in Erie." "Um, Tina." "I met her a couple times." "Hmm, Tina." "He's never mentioned it to me." "Well, he, um- I think that things are a little" " Now that's too bad." " Yeah." " Let's try maybe these." "Thinner frames." " Okay." "Take those off." "Put these on." " Okay, look at me, Guy." "Look at me." " These are hip?" "No." "Something else." "Try mine." "Try mine." "Hide your cards." "Sit down." "So, you gotta watch these guys." "They're musicians." "They cheat." "So, we're gonna play the eight, jack of diamonds" "You fellas look great in gold." "Have I told you that?" "You straight on those harmonies now?" "Check." "Now, you boys have fun." "I think this is loose." "What is this?" "That was Diane Dane." "There she is." "Diane Dane." "Look at that dress, huh?" "That's a- That's a gold dress, like a Wisconsin sunrise." "Get out of my way." "This next group..." "Excellent." "you've all been waiting for... here they are... playing that thing that's racing up the charts... look out, Wisconsin, it's..." "The Wonders!" "Why do we have to stand on stage with those other acts at the end of the show?" "Because we're members of the Play-Tone galaxy of stars." "Did you see the cast of Bonanza signing autographs this afternoon?" "I shook Hoss's hand." "He had his gun on and everything." "Next weekend, The Beverly Hillbillies." "Ah, Miss Elly May." "Miss Elly May go skinny-dippin' in the cement pond." " Elly May." "I love her." " Inside, inside." "Come on!" "Change of plans." "We are leaving here just as soon as possible." "That Thing You Do is the fastest-rising single in the history of the Play-Tone label." "As of tomorrow morning, you Wonders" "You've got the number 7 record in the country." "Aah!" " Oh, my God!" " Ohh!" "Ha ha ha!" "Watch the shelf." "Look, state fairs are small potatoes." "We are on a plane, flying to the coast... as long as we make the airport on time." " To California?" " Disneyland?" "That's right." "California." "Guy:" "Number 7 this week." "Number 1 next week." "If we become number one, does that mean we get a gold record?" "500,000 copies for a gold." "Heyyyyy!" "Put your glasses on, Shades." "Give 'em what they want." "Ha ha!" "Shades." "The horses are coming." "Where's the limo?" "All right, men, let's go!" "Ha ha!" "Cool!" "No, wait." "I'm with them." "Jimmy!" "Ladies, climb on top of the car with us!" "Hey, hold it!" "She's with us!" "Well, I like Wisconsin." "Come on!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Hey, fancy meeting you here." "That does not sound good." "You feeling OK?" "No." "No?" "It's cold in here, isn't it?" "No, you've got a fever." "You're warm." "Here, lie down." "Just gotta bundle you up." "Skitch, band meeting with Herr Play-Tone." "OK." "There you are." "Now, sleep." "No talking." "We're winging our way to the coast." "Mmm, California." "Here we come." "You know, Faye's not feeling very good." "I wanna know when we'll get into a recording studio." "First things first, fellas." "You have to go off and pay homage to Mr. Sol Siler." "He's the founder and chairman of Play-Tone records." "What hotel are we staying at?" "It's the place Lucy and Ricky stayed when they came out with Fred and Ethel." "And then we go into the studio?" "Exactly." "'Cause the point of all this is to make more records." "What would you fellas think about making an appearance in a major motion picture?" "Whoa-ho-ho!" "What movie?" "Then, something very grand on the horizon, if I have worked the phones correctly" "The Hollywood Television Showcase." "Hmm?" " We are gonna be on TV." " Oh, man!" "After that, Jimmy, Discmaster Studios on Sunset, you will cut another record." "Any other questions, don't ask." "Because I'm so sick of talking to you." "What is wrong with Faye?" " Excuse me." " Oh." "Well, she's got a fever." "Okay." "Give her two white ones and one blue one." "She'll sleep like a baby." " Oh, Joan." "Our Miss Joan." " Yes?" " How long are we gonna be on the ground at Stapleton?" " Shouldn't be more than an hour." " Will you make sure that I'm not disturbed until then?" " Sure." "Thank you." "Lenny, give me that paper." "Give me the paper." "Lenny, why don't you go and see if you can visit the cockpit?" "Tell 'em it's your birthday." "Go, go, go." "Hey, Rose." "Hi, Lamarr." "I don't have any cash." "Well, then charge it to your room, cherie." "She's in 242." "Excuse me." "Ooh." "And I'll send you up some soup, too." "Oh, thank you." "My name is Lamarr, and this is my hotel, and we take care of people here." "I'm Faye." "Didn't I check you in with a quartet of gentlemen?" "And why aren't they here to take care of your needs?" "They're off making a major motion picture." "Oh, we got movie stars in my hotel." "They're musicians, actually." "Even better." "Whoo!" "Director:" "Rick!" "Anita!" " The music stopped." " Guy:" "Yeah." "Keep playing." "All right, Anita, I get the message." "It's about time you noticed, Rick." " Thanks, Goofball." " Sure thing, Anita sweetheart." "Keep dancing, Goofball." "Now look out at the ocean." "You see the parachute coming down now." "It's billowing out." "Is that a girl hanging from the parachute?" " Say the line." " We're being invaded." " Say it angry." " We're being invaded!" " Say it again, sexy." " We're being invaded." " Run out of the shot!" " Playback!" " Playback!" " Cut!" " Cut!" "Cut!" "Cut!" "Print it!" "Excellent!" "Hey, guys, Boots Randolph!" " Yeah!" "We look like a bunch of chimpanzees." "No." "We look like a rock and roll band... playing a rock and roll song during Weekend at Party Pier." "Here's the thing." "We're not The Wonders right now." "We're Cap'n Geech and The Shrimp Shack Shooters." "Hey, good news, fellas." "You get to keep your wardrobe." "Hey, do we have a Top 10 record?" " You sure do." " Well, then we shouldn't be here." "Would you rather be back on that state fair tour?" "They're playing North Dakota this week." "No, no, no." "I vote for Weekend at Party Pier." "Smart man." "You should have told us about this Rick and Anita movie." "So mark that date" " Saturday and Sunday, August 20 and 21, Pacific Car showroom." "Just look for the KMPC hit caravan and me." "I'll be out there signing autographs." "If you want a picture of me in my official Dodge Boys Rally Team windbreaker... well, then I just might oblige." "But hey!" "I got some exciting guests on my show today." "Makers of a hit record, visitors from the east" "Oops!" "Hold on, girls." "Not those mop tops." "No, I'm talking about America's own... wonderful..." "Wonders!" "Say hello, fellas!" " Hi!" " And here's their hit." "A big L.A. fave rave at 10 minutes past 7:00 in the morning..." " on KMPC, Los Angeles!" "Thanks, guys." "Just leave the headphones in there." "Let me ask you cats this question." "Who are your influences?" " Which artists popped your cherry?" " The Chantrellines." " The Chantrellines." " Dion and The Belmonts." "Cap'n Geech and The Shrimp Shack Shooters." "Uh, Stan Getz." "Anything he did on the Verve label." "Bill Evans Trio." "Ira Sullivan." "Kenny Durham." "John Young." "Del Paxton." "Yeah." "Time To Blow." "My uncle gave me that record... and we played it in the high school band." "Del Paxton in the high school band- that's wild." "Yeah, we were pretty wild in Erie, Penn." "There was this one time when we stayed up way past midnight, and" "So, uh, Guy Patterson and The, um, Wonders." "Um" "Come back and talk with us again real soon... on KJZZ, Jazz, Los Angeles." "Can I just say a quick hello to Faye Dolan who's sick in bed right now... and hope that she gets better?" "You just did." "Smiling, smiling." "Wait a minute, Gigi." "Hold on, hold on." "Let's have the label right side up, shall we?" "Hey, how come you guys don't have long hair like The Beatles?" "Don't you guys like The Beatles?" "You, in the Lunettes, are those prescription, or are you just trying to look cool?" "Well, I am the drummer." " Oh." " Where the hell is Solly?" "Sol Siler is here!" " Hi, Gigi!" " Hey, Solly!" "Billy, how you doing?" "Hey, Fran, is that you?" " How was Acapulco, Sol?" " Wonderful, wonderful." "Did Mimi go with you, or did she have to stay home?" " She had the flu." " Solly, how's your pals in the sheriff's department?" "You guys spend a little too much time in the wrong places." "Solly, is it true Don Drysdale gave you a sock in the snooker?" "Old news, Fred." "Old news." "Business, gents." "Got to take care of business." "Wanna tell you about my new boys, The Wonders." "Top 10 and fastest ever teen sensations." "Caused the worst riot in Texas since Oswald got shot." "Check this out." "I'm in Detroit." "And the insomnia acts up, right?" "So I go for a drive way out in the boonies." "I come across this neon, sawdust dive." "But what am I seeing?" "It is jammed-jammed with kids." "And why?" "Why?" "I'll tell you why." "These Wonders are playing music like nectar." "And my ears do not lie." "I sign 'em." "I grab 'em." "And they are here." "Do you think all this British beat stuff is new?" "Give us another month- one more month- and we'll be invading them." "Won't we, kids?" "Yeah, where's that drummer?" "Raise your hand." "Call him Shades, boys." "He is the next Sandy Nelson." "Trust me." "Let's get a picture of me and my stars." "So, Solly, saw you at Chasen's with Suzanne Pleshette." "Will you quit with that?" "The wife works upstairs." "Let's go have some deli." "Lookin' good." "What about The Dave Clark Five?" " Is it true you passed on The Beach Boys?" " You talk to Brian every day." " Is that it?" " Yeah." "I'll be sure to give him the message." "Thank you." "Bye-bye." " Hi." " Hi." " How you doin'?" " Good." "So, how long have you worked here at Play-Tone?" "How long you been wearing such tight pants?" "If that's a pick-up line, we're a match made in heaven." "So I hear you're staying at the Ambassador Hotel." "Yes, I am staying at the Ambassador Hotel." " What's your room number?" " 237." "Oh." "What's the view like from up there?" "You know, you could come over and check it out for yourself." " I get off at 5:00." " So, you could be there by 5:30?" " 5:15." " Okay." "I'm gonna stop now... because..." "I don't wanna blow it." "Okay." "Whoa." "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "You cannot use these little plastic forks to make a sandwich." "Let me show you how it's done." "You grab the bread." "You pile the cold cuts on with your hand." "You dip a little mustard." "A little more cold cuts." "Look at that." "Are we cooking?" "Now take a look at that." "That is a thing of beauty." "So, Solly, how much did you lose at Santa Anita last year?" " You signed us." " Never mind." "How'd you like Texas?" "Excuse me, Mr. Siler." "James Mattingly II, lead singer ofthe Wonders." "I wrote "That Thing You Do. " I wrote many other songs... that I think we should make an appointment and share." "What is Jimmy doing?" "Jimmy!" "What in the bloody hell is this?" "Auditions during my lunchtime?" "Yeah, like I got time on my hands" "You wanna get Fabian away from me?" "Jimmy:" "He doesn't know who we are." "To him, we could be anybody." "Guy:" "He knows who The Wonders are." "Faye:" "He didn't listen to any other songs?" "Jimmy:" "I doubt he's even heard That Thing You Do." "Guy:" "I don't think Sol Siler's the person who listens to songs." "Jimmy:" "He's the guy who's in charge of the entire Play-Tone galaxy." "This is the man who's in charge of our collective fate, our creative destiny." "Oh... come on!" "Diane warned me about this." "Diane Dane?" "Diane Dane." "What'd she say?" "Never trust a label." "And I'm beginning to believe her." "Lenny:" "Oh, I agree." "Come on, they put us up in a first-class hotel, all expenses paid while our record climbs the charts." "Bunch of lying snakes." "I'm sorry I'm bugging you." "I guess I'm alone in my principles." "Come on." "There he goes, off to his room to write that hit song," "Alone In My Principles." "Young squires, young squires." "Faye, I'm glad to see you're feeling better." " Lenny, right?" " Yeah." "Listen, a major blonde in a major car just pulled up." "I think she wants to show you the town." "God!" "Great!" "Breath-good?" "No?" "All right." "See you guys." "Hold my calls." "Listen, have you kids had dessert?" "Try the peach cobbler." "Best in the Southland." "Hey, I got you some flowers." "You gotta understand something aboutJimmy." "His-His standards are way up there because he's so smart." "He tested in high school at genius level, so that's why..." "I feel terrible." "I'm gonna go back to bed." "Yeah, that's a good idea." "Bye, Faye." "Bye." "Thanks." " Ma'am." " Thank you." "IfJimmy's a genius..." "I'm U Thant." "Who's U Thant?" "He's the secre- forget it." "You wanna get out of here?" "Go see some of the coast?" "Yes, definitely." "Or maybe, um... what's that theater that the, um" "The movie stars put their hands in the front?" "Oh." "Grauman's Chinese Theater." "That'd be fun." "Excuse me, sirs." "Um, I wanted to inform you that I'll be joining your ranks soon, and, um, I can already do 200 pushups." "Really, boot?" "Yes, sir." "Why don't you give us 100 right now?" "Yes, sir!" "Count 'em off!" "3, 4..." "Coffee, please." "Thank you." "5, 6..." "I like this kid." "Louder, son!" "9, 10, 11, 12..." "Hey, taxi, young squire?" "Um, yeah." "Anybody calls for me," "I'll be at Chasen's with Suzanne Pleshette." "Gotcha." "Hey, Lamarr, is there any place around here with really good jazz?" "Oh, you want good jazz?" "Good jazz?" "Let me ask you a question." "Who played coronet forJacques St. Claire on Vital Stats?" "Scotty McDonald." "Get in the cab." "Get in the cab!" "Take this young man to the Blue Spot." "Oh, good jazz." "They're fine!" "Yeah." "Oh, yeah, yeah!" "Yeah." "I left Vancouver for Tacoma," "Tacoma for Portland..." "Oh, I got married in Portland." "Yeah." "Oh, and then I left Portland for Reno, and then I got divorced in Reno." "Then wised up and faced the inevitable." "You know, I moved to L.A." "Is the trio going on again?" "I don't know." "Looks like they're kind of busy doing the cock 'n' bull with Del there." "Del?" "Yeah, Del Paxton." "One of the regulars." "Roving hands, but good cock 'n' bull." "Del Paxton." "Mm-hmm." "Del Paxton's sitting over there?" "Yeah." "Gabby, ha ha ha!" "Oh, Gabby?" "He owes me money, man." "Oh... oh, oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Del Paxton is sitting over there." "Oh, heh heh heh." "I just lost you, didn't I?" "You wanna meet him?" "What?" "No... no." " Ha ha ha!" " Ha ha ha!" " Ain't that the truth." " That's Gabby." "Margueritte, what you got here?" "You may not believe this, Del, but this kid has heard of you." "That right?" "Well, sit down." "Buy me a drink." "Del Paxton." "Who are you?" "I'm Guy Patterson." "I'm from Erie, Pennsylvania." "I'm in a band called The Wonders, and we're-we just cut a record, and we're out here on the coast, and I play the drums, and I have all your records." "Well, not all of them, but a lot of them." "At least I did until some of them got swiped when I was stationed in Germany, and you were playing in Germany at the time I was stationed there." "But, you know what?" "I couldn't see you because you were playing in Hamburg and I was stationed in Munich." "But I listen to your records, and I think you're great." "You are my biggest fan." "Heh heh." "Thanks." "I'll have another Hennessey." "A Hennessey for Del Paxton." "All right." "Ain't no way to keep a band together." "Bands come and go." "You got to keep on playin', no matter with who." "You guys any good?" "Yeah." "Yeah, man, we got" "Jimmy and Lenny and me and..." "Faye" "We got something snappy." "Really think we do." "I'm sure you do, but sooner or later, something makes you crazy:" "money, women, the road." "Hell, man, just time." "Well, we've only been together for 2 months." "Some bands I been with, that's 2 months too long." "Last call, lovers." "I'm gone." "You keep on playin'... and watch your money." "You'll land on your feet." "Thanks for your hospitality." "Thank you, Del Paxton." "Nice young man, huh, Margueritte?" "Oh, very nice young man, Del." "Good night." " Night, Margueritte." " Thank you, Del!" "Just look at you." "You're no good to me now." "Hey, that's a nice monkey suit you got on there... but you still can't park here." "You are so great." "You are." " You're a great gal." " Really?" "I'm a great gal?" " Yep, you are." "You're a great gal." " A gal?" "A great gal." "Imagine that." "I'm a gal." "You have to get out of my car now." "Okay." "Margueritte, what are doing with young squire?" "My civic duty." " Your civic duty?" " Guy!" " Is he yours?" " One of four." "Thank you for his safe return." "Well, keep a better eye on him." "One more martini, I'd have me a cabana boy." "Ooh." " Come on." " Thank you, Margueritte." "Oh, don't look so sad, Lloyd." "We'll be fashionably late." "Are you all right?" "I'm kinda drunk." "Well, can you take some good news?" "Yes, with the best of them." "You boys got The Hollywood Television Showcase." "That's a live shot on nationwide TV." "I came by to tell you personally." "Hollywood Showcase!" "I want you to round up your group... and show up on time tomorrow." "All right?" "All right?" " You got it." " Good night!" "That's it." "That's it." "I'm off duty." "I'm off duty." "Are you happy?" " I can't just shirk these responsibilities, Lloyd." " Uh-huh." "Oh, no, no, no." "No, no, no." "Guy." "Guy, Guy, Guy." "You go upstairs." "You go night-night and you get some sleep." "Bring him along." "From Mr. Pouty to this." "I don't think so." "Guy..." "You won't remember much of this conversation, so check with the hotel operator in the morning." "She has all the information." "Lloyd, please, let's go, before it gets too late." "Bye-bye." "Good night." "I am Spartacus!" "Come on, young squire." "Come on." "Come on." "You'll be all right." "Come on." "Good morning, Guy." "We have a crisis here." "Your bass player has disappeared, and you are still in bed!" "Just calling to tell you to get your patootie down to the television studio!" "You're gonna be on TV tonight!" "Excuse me!" "Excuse me!" "Hiya!" "Where's Lenny?" "Gettin' me a soda." "Where's Jimmy?" "He the guy throwing' up in the bathroom?" "Holy cow!" "What's wrong with you?" "Hey, Guy, I think" "I think Faye gave me something." "We're on TV in a few hours." "I know!" "Hey, Guy, what do you think of her?" "She was a Playboy bunny!" "Took me up to her apartment last night, way up with the coyotes, where I did me some howling." "Where's our bass player?" "Isn't he here?" "No." "I gotta call the hotel." "How far a drive is it to Las Vegas?" "'Cause I'm driving there tonight, through the desert with the top down." "I'm in love, Skitch!" "Freakin' stars in my head." "Upchucking, Mr. Hammerstein?" "Are you nervous about tonight's big live broadcast?" "Huh?" "Huhhhhhh?" "No." "I've left 50 messages!" "Where the hell is he?" "Aaaah!" "Whooo!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Look at us." "We're on the telly." " Is that where we are?" " Of course, ya twit." " Look, there's the queen of England." " I thought we were in America." "Go three." "I was hoping to meet Gina Lollobrigida." "Stand in line, chum." "I'm hoping Troy Chesterfield gives me the leftovers." "God help me." "I hope they can do that on live TV." "The Wonders on stage for rehearsal please." "The Wonders on stage for rehearsal." " Oh." "I can't find the stage!" " It's right this way." " Follow me." " Okay." "I'm a Wonder." "Oh." "Hey, thank you very much." "Hey, can that one really play the bass?" "I don't know where he is, but he was joining the marines in August anyway." "This was gonna happen sooner or later." "Guy, say hello to Wolfman, Mr. Scott Pell." " How you doing?" " Replacement?" " Yes." " Who's he played with?" "The Techniques... uh, Roy Maxwell and The Corsairs." "Really?" "He's your new bass player." "Mr. White- no offense- we've been together for a while." " There aren't a lot of options here, Guy." " Can he handle our tune?" "I think I can handle it, junior." " Okay." " All right." "Mr. White." "Faye's not gonna miss this, is she?" "Oh, no." "She'll be here." "I've taken care of her." "Hello." "Um, I'm Faye Dolan." "I'm a V.I.P. guest ofthe Wonders." " Mr. White." "Can I have a word with you?" " Did you get some dinner?" "Can we talk about the songs we need to bring into the studio?" " Let's do that after the show, okay, Jimmy?" " Please?" "Let's do that." "Hey, are you ready for tonight?" "Are you gonna be magic?" "You better be magic." "Fifteen minutes and this boat sails." " I'm gonna need an aspirin." " Okay." "There's milk in my coffee." "There's milk in my coffee, Boards!" "Now how many times do I have to say, no milk in the coffee?" "You know what scares me?" "You're the soundman and you don't seem to listen." "I should have my head examined for being in this business." "For criminy sakes, no milk in the coffee!" "Miss Dolan, here's your seat." " Here?" " Yeah." "Thank you." ""Special guest, the amazing Charlie Frye..." ""Canadian funnymen, Fletcher and O'Shaughnessey..." ""Astronaut Virgil 'Gus' Grissom..." "Paul Pope's primitive primates"?" ""Teen sensations, The Wonders. "" "The Wonders." "Teen sensations, The Wonders!" "The Won-Wonders." "All right, try this." "Here's the church." "There's the steeple." "Open it a little bigger and there's all the people." "Hey, man, whatever you do, don't think of pork chops!" "What?" "I'm trying to help him out." "From the brand-new City of Broadcasting in Santa Monica, California... it's The Hollywood Television Showcase!" "It's starting!" "It's starting!" "It's starting!" "Get in here!" "Oh, look, look!" "It's starting!" "It's not 10:00 yet." "...Canadian funnymen, Fletcher and O'Shaughnessey!" "Astronaut Virgil "Gus" Grissom!" "Paul Pope's primitive primates!" "Teen sensations The Wonders!" "Aaaaaah!" "Aaah!" "Oh, God, I'm scared!" "Give me the remote control." "Give me the remote control." "Hey, Mr. P, do you think Guy got to meet Gus Grissom?" "Oh, man, wouldn't that be something if he met Gus Grissom?" "That's a good picture there now." "Look at that." "...nylon, and acrylon fibers." "And now, here's the star of this week's showcase..." "Troy Chesterfield!" "Thank you!" "All right now, everybody settle down." "He won't be on for another half-hour." "They got a bunch of other acts that come on before." "Yeah." "Last week, they had this elephant" "Oh, playing the harmonica!" "But seriously, Gus... what is it like flying up there in outer space in the-what is it- the Gemini?" "That's right, Troy." "It'll be called the Gemini." "See, I guess I'd have to say that flying in outer space is a lot like your working with Gina Lollobrigida in your latest movie" "It's out of this world." "Here's a question I have..." "Going back to one." "How's the food?" "Go one!" "It's pretty good, Troy." "NASA's working on new zero-g food all the time." " Take 2!" " Like what?" "Well, just last week," "I sampled a compressed turkey product, processed succotash, and a packet of concentrated prune juice" "Oh... that's gotta hurt." "Stage manager:" "Teen sensations The Wonders to the stage, please." "Boys, we go." "Teen sensations The Wonders to the stage." "You look fabulous in the black suits." "Have I told you that?" "Hi-fabulous in the black suits." "I can just imagine Guy backstage right now, just waiting to go on." "You think they'll show a shot of him backstage, dear, waiting to go on?" "No, honey, they won't show him backstage." "They'll show him when he comes out to perform." "I wonder how many people are watching this." "How many people saw The Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show?" "Excuse me." "Is that where The Wonders come out?" "Yeah, right there." "Hey, Skitch... how did we get here?" "I led you here, sir... for I am Spartacus." "Stage manager:" "We're coming back!" "5, 4, 3, 2..." "And now... for you kids, the latest rock 'n' roll group to challenge The Beatles to a hair-combing contest" "That's just what we all need" "The new teen sensations, The Wonders!" "Ready on 2 there, Ray." "2's on line... go." "Ready 4!" "There he is!" "Just look at him!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Ready 4!" "We don't have to hurry this." "Slow move in." "There's not a big hurry here." "Not a big hurry." "Nice and easy." "That's a pretty shot." "That a baby!" "That a baby!" "Quiet down!" "I'm trying to hear it!" "Supers coming up." "It's time for America to meet The Wonders." "Let's make 'em look good." "And go!" "Leo, there's a good-looking kid." "And go!" "Wolfman:" "Too scary." "Go!" "Shades, that a baby." "And go!" "Jimmy." "Careful, girls, he's engaged." "Congratulations, Jimmy." "Hold it..." "Aaaaah!" "Oh, that's hilarious!" "Yes, Lenny." "Hey, Lloyd." "Listen, you're not gonna believe who I've got right here who wants to say hello to you." "No, he does." "Gus Grissom." "That's right." " Just say hello." "It'd mean the world to him." " Hello, Floyd." " Lloyd." " Lloyd, hi." "This is Gus Grissom." "So, it just appeared like magic for the whole world to see?" "I didn't say anything." "I was just as surprised as you." ""Careful, girls, he's engaged. "" "Am I supposed to buy you some diamond ring now?" "You're ruining this beautiful moment." "Where'd you get the idea that we're engaged?" "We're not!" "That's the last thing I need in the world." "We were great!" "What, are you kidding?" "You're kidding." "You kidder." "Hey, man, you have a couple of hundred bucks?" "I need some extra scratch for the craps tables." "No." "No?" "Come on!" "Just a little bit." "This is my first trip to Vegas." "Try Guy." "He's a sucker." "Well, that was very nice." "Whitey, can you spot me some blackjack cash?" "That would be against my policy." "Mr. White, it isn't true." "Oh ho ho ho!" "Guy, can I borrow some money?" " 200 bucks." " How much you want?" "Hah." "Chump change." "Good lord, Faye, you look gorgeous." "Now, next up for you kids... you get to make another record." "Can I say something?" "Hey, the fair Faye wishes to address us all, so it's..." "Jimmy... from now on, you stay away from me." "I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you." "Kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile... and all your color and life." "I used to think that was the real you when you smiled." "But now I know that you don't mean any of it... and you just save it for all your songs." "Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight." "You tell him, honey." "Who are you?" "Call me Kitty." "Well, Kitty, you watch as Jimmy here... begins his slow, torturous descent to the loveless life that he deserves." "Should've dumped you in Pittsburgh!" "Which one of you butts said we're engaged?" "The same person who said you had class, Jimmy." "Let's blow, babe." "Get that desert air in my hair." "OK." "Do we really have to go with the top down?" "Take those stupid sunglasses off." "Why couldn't you have dumped her in Pittsburgh?" "We do my songs, or we don't record anything." "You got that, White?" "OK." "Jimmy." "I was looking forward to working with you." "You know, you're a liar, White!" "You're a liar." "And you're in a tough spot, Jimmy, 'cause you didn't read the Play-Tone contract that you yourself signed, because it says you do what I say." "And I say you cover these songs from the Play-Tone catalog." "You record That Thing You Do in Spanish." "You get one cut per side of the LP, but I don't want any of this lover's lament crap." "I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo." "I want something snappy." "All right." "I quit, Mr. White." "Jimmy just quit." "Your band is falling apart, Guy." "Where's Lenny?" "I have no idea." "I am so happy!" "Oh, I can't wait for tonight!" "Oh, yeah!" "Thanks so much." "I really-Thanks a lot!" "Thanks for being here!" "Thanks for Sharing!" "Oh, wow, I'm really so happy." "Well, I guess you don't need me today." "Yeah." "Wolfman, thank you very much." "You're a good man, Scott Pell." "Give me a call later on in the week." "We'll do something." "I can't believe this." "The Wonders are in breach of contract." "I'm sorry." "I'm really sorry, Mr. White." "Well, don't worry." "No one's going to prison, son." "It's a very common tale." "Well, maybe for you, but I was in a band, and we still have a hit record." "Yeah, you do." "One-hit wonders." "It's a very common tale." "My first time in a real recording studio." "You want to hang around for a while?" "OK by me." "But you're out of the hotel this afternoon." "Can't help that." "You know, Guy, Horace was right about you." "You are the smart one." "Lenny is the fool." "Jimmy is... the talent." "Faye is... well, now, Faye is special, isn't she?" "And you are the smart one." "That's what I think anyway." "How you been?" "Doing all right." "How about you?" "All right." "Hanging in." "Ernie:" "What do you call that?" "I am Spartacus." "Ha ha ha!" "You wanna lay it down?" "Nah." "I was just goofing around." "Hey, my man." "Hey, Del!" "What's your name again?" "Guy... uh, Guy Patterson." "Guy." "Yeah, that's right." "Hey, you're good." "Oh, you heard that?" "You swing." "Thank you." "Uh, can I jam with you a bit?" "You want to jam with me?" "Why not?" "Sure." "Sure." "All right." "What are you doing here?" "Recording some tracks in Studio C with Willy Walker." "Willy Walker?" "Can he jam with us, too?" "Nah, let's keep this a duet." "Let's play that Spartacus again." "Hey, Ernie... roll tape on this." "You got it, Del." "Go ahead." "Count it off." "1... 2... 3... 4." " KJZZ." "We don't take requests." " Paris." "It's Guy Patterson ofthe Wonders." "Do you remember me?" "Yeah." "You're the only person I can tell this to." "You'll never guess where I am." "I'm at Discmaster Studios." "I just jammed with Del Paxton." "He's recording down the hall with Willy Walker..." "Five-Hand Johnson and Peter Dean Falcon." "My God." "Man, can you talk to 'em?" "I just did." " No, no, no." "Can you record them?" " I don't know." "Maybe." "Okay, talk to 'em, interview 'em, get 'em to play." "Just get it on tape." "God, it'll be priceless." "That is a great idea." "I'll try." "Hey, listen." "You want a job?" "You bring that tape to the station, and I'll give you the 6:00 to midnight slot... seven nights a week." "Are you kidding me?" "Now, I don't pay much." "Have you ever done radio?" " No." "Just with you." " That's cool." "You know your jazz." "I gotta go." "I got a problem." "Okay, bye." "Yeah, we played the PhillyJazzJunction for a week, and Eddie the Cat" " Y'all know Eddie the Cat." " Yeah." "Well, he wanted us to cut the record there." "But I'd already been booked to be in Paris." "So, uh, he said, " Can't you stick around for just one more day?"" "Well, that Monday afternoon, we called in a bunch of our friends to sit in... and, uh, you know, be an audience for us." " We cut that record in two hours." " Wow." "Wait." "You recorded that on a Monday afternoon at 3:00?" "I have the record." "It sounds like a wild crowd on a Saturday night." "Yeah, well, the bar was open." "Uh, uh, Bobby Washington played the drums on that, right?" "Yeah, Bobby played." "That dude owes me money." " Hey, darling, let me take care of that." " Oh, thank you, Lamarr." " Sure." "It's my job." " How are you?" "I'm okay." "But it's gonna be a sad hotel if you leaving us today." "I gotta get a cab going to a Greyhound bus station." "Oh, the thought of you on a bus just ruined my day." "Well, look, don't worry about it." "We'll get you there." " We got a jitney that leaves here every 20 minutes." " Here?" " Yeah." " Mmm, great." " Great." " Have you had your lunch?" " I'm not very hungry today." " Oh, no, no, no, no." "You've got to eat." "Now listen, I want you to go in here to the Café Ambassador... and I want you to order yourself a turkey club, bacon crisp." "And some peach cobbler." "Now that'll hold you." " Okay?" " Bacon crisp?" " Bacon crisp, peach cobbler." " You'll watch my bags for me?" "I got your bags." "Don't worry about a thing." "Enjoy!" "Hey, come on over here." "Pick up this lady's bags." "Mark 'em V.I.P." "Got it?" "V.I.P." "Hi." "Can I get you something?" "Yes." "I would like the, uh, turkey club, bacon crisp, please." "Turkey club." "You got it." "Hey!" "Yeah." "I'll talk to you later." "Hey, hey, hey." "Slow down there, young squire." " Life is long." " I gotta check out." "You're leaving us today too, huh?" "Yeah, well, that partner of yours- the one with all the attitude, he left here hours ago." "And your little Fifi is about to vamoose as well." "Wait, Fifi-You mean Faye." "She's still here?" "Yeah." "She's sitting there in the coffee shop." "At the counter, alone." "Now, where I come from, that just ain't right." "Take that." "Lamarr here." "Yes, sir." "Blue Impala." "Absolutely." "Uh-huh." "Thank you, sir." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Now, that ain't your job." "All right, you're not leaving." " Guy." " Not without saying good-bye." "It would be a very un-Faye-like thing to do." "What's that, The Wonders' next hit record?" "No." "The Wonders are no more." "Like, no more, no more?" "Everything has changed, Faye." "These are hours of the immortals... gods of jazz, talking, riffing, telling stories you wouldn't believe." "The Wonders are dispersed." "They're gonna pay me to broadcast this stuff on the radio." "I got a job here- here on the coast." "Here." "So you'll be like a permanent west coaster?" "Yeah, looks that way." "Wow." "So, what are you gonna do?" "Hmm..." "I'm gonna go back to Erie." "Figured that's what you'd say." "Guy... can I ask you a question?" "Shoot." "Were you in love in Erie?" "You know, I thought so." "With that Tina woman?" "She wasn't right for you." "Was she a good kisser?" "Yeah." "Yeah?" "It would be ungentlemanly for me to elaborate." "Gentlemen" " I forgot what you fellas looked like." "Well, sir... if you ever come back to Erie, please stop by and see me." "Right." "We'll listen to records." "That'd be nice." "And here's good-bye." "You know that none of this would have happened if you hadn't joined the band." "And I mean that in a good way." "Bye." "So, young squire..." "Before you go... let me ask you one question." "Shoot." "When was the last time you were decently kissed?" "I mean, truly, truly..." "good and kissed?" "Dave Gammelgard..." "New Year's Eve... '61." "OK." "Mm!" "Whoo." "Whoo." "We should have done that a long time ago." "Yeah." "Lamarr, would you mind watching our things?" "Oh, that's what I do."