"China's Yangtze River flows across over 4,000 km of land lt's the longest river in China" "The mother of Chinese civilization" "The Three Gorges is famous for its sheer cliffs and steep mountains... inspiring poets to leave behind  beautiful words of praise" "From the walls of Baidi high in the colored dawn" "To Jiangling by nightfall is a thousand miles lt's the birthplace of poet Qu Yuan and the great beauty Wang Zhaojun lt's where warlord Liu Bei died  and the inspiration for Li Bai's poems" "But with the construction of the Three Gorges Dam historical sites and artifacts will soon be submerged under water" "All the nation's archeologists have gathered here to rescue invaluable artifacts before the dam floods the area" "Today, a school archeological team has unearthed what is believed to be ...a Big Mac box from the first MacDonald outlet in the country" "Another team has also discovered a piece of chicken bone" "Carbon 14 and DNA test results confirm that... it was the first batch of Kentucky Fried Chicken mumbled by Chinese" "Another piece of exciting news" "A large object is about... to see the light of day again... after thousands of years in darkness" "Εxperts carefully clear the soil off" "But its function is a mystery its craftsmanship poor and design awkward inside the object..." "Whoa..." "There's dried cow dung" "Oh no...it's McFat's handiwork again" "Mak-zi, given name McFat dates of birth and death unknown an extremely insignificant philosopher and inventor" "He invented the electric rice-cooker electric kettle, mosquito repellant electric nose hair trimmer ...but forgot to invent electricity" "So his inventions sat at home useless" "He also invented the Shadowless Kick contact lenses and invisible pantyhose" "But no one could see them" "They are not written in history" "Mak-zi also invented the world's first telephone" "But the second telephone was not invented until the 1 9th century ...by American Αlexander Bell" "Mak-zi waited by his telephone and waited waited and he died before he could hear it ring" "I was dancin' with my darlin' to the Tennessee Waltz" "When an old friend I happened to see I introduced him to my loved one" "And while they were dancin'" "My friend stole my sweetheart from me I remember the night and the Tennessee Waltz" "Now i know just how much I have lost" "Yes, I lost my little darlin' the night they were playing" "The beautiful Tennessee Waltz." "Yes, I lost my little darlin' the night they were playing" "The beautiful, the wonderful, the marvelous, the glorious" "The beautiful Tennessee Waltz." "It's every archeologist's nightmare it's bulky, useless" "No museums want it" "But it's unethical to... dump it" "back into the river... the huge object... float aimlessly down... the Yangtze River... all the way to the south of... its southern tributaries... to the furthest tip of... an 1 8th generation descendant of" "Mak-zi McFat was found" " McDull!" "Mama, what is an 1 8th generation descendant?" "That's your father's father's father's father's father's father's ...who got married and had your father's father's father's father's ...who had your father's father's father's father's who had your father's who had you" "I have so many fathers?" "Perhaps due to the economic downturn or because of Mrs. Mak's premature menopause" "She had to keep changing store signs to stay in business" "Luckily, she was a TV celebrity chef..." "Wow!" "On fire!" "On fire!" "She was able to rise from... a home chef to a spokesperson... for a weight loss franchise" "Εverything seemed a little bit off" "Luckily, it was just a bit off" "But like most mothers..." "Mrs. Mak would do anything to... take care for her little one..." "McDull!" "Mrs. Mak began planning McDull's... future even before he was born" "The mozart Effect was in vogue..." "For the sake of her unborn child, she enrolled in the..." ""Prenatal Εducation with Mozart" university... research program" "She thought she succeeded..." "Who knew..." "But she discovered that scientific research required control groups" "To prove the mozart Εffect... one group of fetuses listened to mozart... selected randomly while another group listened to nonsense songs" "On Hollywood Road stands a big hotel inside three fat ladies learn to kick balls..." "What could you do about random selection?" "Mrs. Mak did not give up" "Εvery Sunday..." "McDull takes painting, swimming, Εnglish classes... plus goes to university for mozart" "His efforts may erase the... prenatal effects of the nonsense songs" "McDull may be dull but he is a good child" "He eats plenty, craps plenty" "He's strong enough to twist off bottle caps for other kids" "He's also careful not to step... on ants that cross his path" "He may be slow but he's patient" "He is dexterous and likes to fold origami... for his mother when she comes home from work I love chicken" "Mama loves chicken too I love to be with Mama whom I love the most and eat what we love Chicken on fire" " Great!" "Very Mozart!" " You're kidding!" "At this beautiful moment of defeat... our story begins" "Ah-Fai..." "McMug..." "McDull..." "Hurray!" "i got an A!" "No, McDull, that's an H" "H and A are slightly different at the top" "Oh..." "I nearly got an Α" "You wish" "Look, your writing's so messy!" "No one could read it even if it was correct!" "Didn't I give you an eraser?" "Here!" "Still in perfect condition!" "What good is a clean eraser?" "Use it to clean up your mess!" "No..." "It won't be perfect anymore I'll give you a new one later!" "That's okay... i like this one." "See how beautiful it is" "What if I promise to write slowly and... neatly from now on" "Slowly won't do!" "Class will be over!" "Huh?" "You mean if I write slowly, class will be over sooner?" "Oh...i feel dizzy, I feel so dizzy..." "Ah..." " Maybe you have menopause?" " ls it possible?" "dizziness, mood swings, insomnia, night sweats, hot flashes?" "You've just entered a new phrase in womanhood" "Menopause!" "The more I endure, the more I feel uneasy" "Rising suddenly from a squat makes me dizzy" "Frequent hot flashes, indigestion and nocturnal incontinence" "Rising suddenly from a squat makes me dizzy" "Disoriented in the morning and can't sleep at night" "Rising suddenly from a squat makes me dizzy" "Cut!" "Thank you Mrs. Mak" "We'll let you know." "Next!" "Your menopause is so tragic!" "What do you children know?" "You were awesome, mama, real tears were coming out of your eyes!" "I was thinking of your report card" "You'll get the spokesperson job for sure" "You had real sadness and real tears!" "Women like me... can produce tears very easily!" "What kind of woman are you?" "Forget it!" "Let's just go home and... have "Chicken on fire"!" "Hurray!" "Well... i almost... got an A... I'm not talking about that!" "How could you poop in class?" "Are you still a baby?" "Sorry..." "You shouldn't have to be..." "Raise your hand and tell the teacher" "How could you poop in your seat?" "Miss Chan was singing to us... I wanted to hold it until the song ended" "Just admit you were too lazy to ask for permission!" "Εven your bum knows how to poop!" "But you are lazier than your bum!" "Alright, stop crying..." "Mama was wrong to use the B word" "Alright, your bum is not as hardworking as you are and you almost got an Α" "Stop crying and eat your chicken" "Raise your hand if you need to poop lt's... a basic human right I need to poop!" "Just follow mama..." "I need to poop!" " l need to poop!" " l need to poop!" "May, how lazy are "bums"?" "Bums are not lazy, they're very hardworking!" "Really?" "Of course!" "Day in and day out, bums jiggle jiggle jiggle..." "They have to sit and get up and they also have to poop!" "They jiggle to move in water;" "they jiggle to get out of water lt depends on what kind of car too bums have to jiggle jiggle jiggle lt's more work than walking" "Over the new year holidays, a friend of mine took his bum on a plane ride to New Zealand" " Checked-in luggage or carry-on?" " What?" " The bum!" " Carry-on, of course!" "So the bum jiggled all the way to Αuckland and thought it was a vacation, only to discover it had to go horseback-riding!" "Wow, May..." "Who do you think is lazier - me or my bum?" "Of course you are lazier than your bum!" "I wish I can poop, and Miss Chan can continue to sing I wish I can write correctly" "Without using my eraser l wish I was smart so mother wouldn't have to cry or go through menopause" "I wish to get all A's and not almost get one lf l'm smart, smarter than my bum" "For Mama's happiness, I would... I would give up eating my favorite chicken!" "Do you have an umbrella?" "U-m-b-r-e-l-l-a, umbrella." "I have an umbrella," "B-a-n-a-n-a, an umbrella... lf McDull can become a smart boy, I would..." "Mother, look!" "Look how smart I am." "I got an Α, it's a real Α!" "Ladies and gentlemen - Chicken on fire!" "Εat up, smart boy I'm fine, you eat I'm on a diet, you eat it I have indigestion I don't believe it." "Eat!" "My cholesterol level..." " Heck with cholesterol, eat!" " You eat!" " You eat!" " i have a pimple..." " l have a wart, eat!" " i can't pee" " l have athlete's foot - l have tennis elbow" "On the same night McDull made his wish..." "Mrs. Mak also made a wish" "B-a-n-a-n-a, Banana.......... lf McDull can become a smart boy, I would give up chicken!" "My Cholesterol level..." "Heck with cholesterol!" "Εat!" "You eat it!" "The chicken got cold" "McDull hesitantly divulged his reason... for not eating the chicken" "Out of the blue, Mrs. Mak is suddenly overcome by... a feeling of being bullied" "She's a bit angry, a bit sad, and a bit ashamed" "She stands up, picks up the plate" "Reheats it in a hurry puts it back in front of McDull, and says..." "Mother is not a successful sow outside I run around from morning to night" "What makes me happiest is... to cook you a delicious meal, and watch you eat it" "This is the most basic happiness... I can provide to you" "Therefore, if you don't eat my chicken anymore... and I can't watch you eat chicken" "Then my life would be over" "Never sell out our chicken!" "It's okay, son." "Have some chicken lt'd be great if you become somebody" "But if it's not meant to be" "Then we'll always have our chicken" "Mrs. Mak read two letters that night" "One is from the anti-Menopausal Formula." "She didn't get the job" "She lost even in her specialties, dizziness and tears" "The other is from the professor at the mozart Εffect program" "He said the funding has been exhausted, so after this semester..." "McDull doesn't need to return to the university" "His parting words for McDull... on his overall mental aptitude... consisted of only one sentence lt is one only a mother... could truly appreciate" "He's not retarded, he's just gentle" "For McDull and for herself" "To have truthful lives" "Mrs. Mak decides to pack up... and start anew" "A carry-on it is" "Bright moonlight, amber glow on my face" "Good baby go to sleep" "Come morning Mama has to cross the border" "Daddy works the graveyard shift at 7-1 1" "Bright moonlight, amber glow on your pee" "Good baby go to sleep" "Come morning Mama has to go to court" "Daddy lies sleeplessly on the bed" "Baby, hurry and grow up" "All the wiser at fleeing debt" "Bright moonlight, amber glow on my face" "Good baby go to sleep" "Come morning Mama has to go borrow money" "Grandma's dentures cost two grand and more Wuhan, we are finally here" "The land of Crouching Tigers and Hidden Dragons" "Your soil nurtured McDonald's and KFC" "You can nurture me and my" ""Chicken on fire."" "Mother, are we going to a hotel?" "We have to take another train ride" "Huh?" "What about horseback-riding?" "You know the expression fish out of water?" "I've heard of "Cool as a cucumber"" "and "Dangle a carrot in front of me"" "You get the idea..." "Listen, mother will stay in Wuhan for a month or two and learn how to do business then maybe go to Shanghai, Suzhou and hangzhou ls it going to be carry-on again?" "It's checked baggage this time" "That's great, no need to lug it around" "Remember "Good guys finish last"" "I will take you to Wu Dang Mountain" "Once you have mastered Kung Fu" "No one can bully you again" "No one can bully mother" "You are "checking me in"?" "I don't want to go...!" "You want us to be like fish ... in a barrel," "No cucumber?" "How about some bitter melons?" "Chow Yun-Fat is a descendant of Wu Dang." "How about that?" "I can go back to being my own spokesperson" "Open a huge chain of "Chicken on Fire" restaurants" "Welcome, would ja like sum chick'n?" "Haha, your accent sucks lf anyone should disrespect my chicken" "You will help me break his ribs with your head" "Oh, that would hurt" "That's what they get for criticizing me I mean my head would hurt..." "Not when you know Wu Dang Kung Fu, it wouldn't hurt" "That's true, hehehe" "Okay, let's go, the train is leaving" "Waaaa, I don't want to be "checked-in"!" "This is my mobile phone number" "Call only... if it's very very important" "Mama...mama!" "Hey, you wet your bed!" "I've even pooped in my pants" "Yuck, this Hong Kong kid poops in his pants" "Rise and shine, with the sun" "Brush your teeth, wash your face" "We are the good children of China" "We exercise everyday" "Develop our body and mind" "When hungry" "We eat rice and vegetable" "We are the good kids of Wu Dang Mountain" "Children, you are very lucky!" "Our Wu Dang Tai Chi clan is profound and vast" "But to promote our martial arts" "We have adopted a new teaching method" "Using storytelling, real life examples and singing there's no TV here in conjunction with multimedia lt will help you learn our Κung Fu... effectively and effortlessly" "Okay, any questions for the Master?" "Master, are there air conditioners here?" "We can't function without air conditioners" "A karaoke machine?" "A bar-b-que grill?" "How about MSN?" "Master, do you have AAA batteries?" "Master!" "Colors will blind you" "Sounds will deafen you, and tastes will dull you" "Only seclusion will enlighten you" "That means no TV, no air conditioner no karaoke or batteries, no-nothing" "Let's thank the Master once again" " Master, i want to p..." " Fine!" "I know about you," "Hong Kong kid, everyone here knows what you've done" "Anyone who needs to poop should go now" "Let's meet on the field when the bell rings." "Okay, go" "What are you doing?" "You don't know how to poop?" "What?" "Do it like this..." "Let me help you" "That was impressive" "Mama says I'm a straight shooter I know, Mrs. Mak" "You know my mother?" "She asked me to look after you" "Really?" "She said you should train hard" "Strengthen your legs I got it" "Good." "Go to the field to practice Kung Fu" "A watermelon" " l pass it to you - l pass it to you" " You don't want it?" " Haha" "Haha" " l'll keep it - l'll keep it" " Take it home to my sister-in-law" " Take it home to my sister-in-law" "Little did I know my sister-in-law... has a watermelon in her belly" "Little did I know my sister-in-law..." "has a watermelon in her belly" "What I taught you just now was the new teaching method for Tai Chi" "Wasn't it easy to remember?" "Goosie can you repeat it, please?" "A watermelon..." "Correct i pass it to you." "You don't want it, give it back" "Haha I'll keep it." "Give it to my aunt" "Hey, mister!" "Why did you hit my chicken with the paper?" "That's more or less correct." "The phrases you learned help you remember the Tai Chi movements" "We invited a special friend to demonstrate it" "Brother Panda, please join us!" "Hello, everyone.." "I'm Brother Panda!" "Students, follow Mr. Brother Panda" " Α watermelon" " A watermelon" " l pass it to you - l pass it to you" "You don't want it?" " Haha" " Haha I'll keep it. I take it home Give it to my sister-in-law" "Sir!" "Would you like a preserved plum?" "Why won't you eat my pork?" "is it not tender enough?" "Sir!" "Would you like a preserved plum?" "Why won't you eat my pork?" "is it not tender enough?" "Mak-zi, given name McFat" "He was born chunky then grew chunkier" "And kept getting fatter and fatter" "At his death, he lived up to the name "big, fat, McBacon"" "They say Mak-Zi invented yawning belching and sitting" ""Get up", needless to say, was also his invention" ""Hanging around" That's his too" "He also invented stirring chop suey and getting nowhere" ""An order of Chop Suey to go"" "was his innovation" "That day, as he told the waiter to doggy-bag the food he paid with his newly invented... never-seen-before credit card" "Unfortunately he got beaten up" "The ΑTM was another contraption of Mak-zi aka McFat" "The waiter stuffed the card in Mak-Zi's mouth and tapped on... his acupressure points" "Mak-zi automatically gave the waiter... all his money" "Mak-zi was the first person to open a supermarket" "He opened a grocery store" "Told the patrons to take a wooden cart and load up the goods" "The first person to declare... bankruptcy was Mak-zi aka McFat" "Rumor has it he even invented the English alphabets" "Αs he sighed... one night..." ""Alas"" ""too bad" ""sh...t"" "Why is everything "almost there"?" ""almost there"..." ""almost there"" "Mak-zi closed his eyes and meditated, he eventually... fell asleep" "Loose collar, stiff top!" "That means relax your neck and hold your head straight" "Drop bottom, surrender waist" "Let your bottom drop to the ground and... relax your waist" "Drop shoulders, plunge elbows..." " Master!" " What is it?" "I don't have a waist" "What?" "How can you not have it?" "Mom says I'm straight all the way" "How is that possible?" "Master, this kid is shaped like a barrel" "He really has no waist" "Turn your head that way... and the other way?" "Master, he doesn't even have a neck!" "What do we do, Master?" "In our nearly 1 ,000 year history this is the first such disciple we have encountered" "No neck and no waist..." "What do we do?" "Hmm...at this point the only thing to do is to...have..." "lunch!" "Let's eat" "Brother Panda, where were you before?" "Well, I come and go..." " Master found out i had no waist" " Really?" "And no neck" "My goodness" "Do you think Master would kick me out?" "No way!" "I heard the founder of this clan looked like a turtle" "They still had kick-ass Κung Fu" "Then I shouldn't have told anyone I had no waist" "Why?" "You want to be kicked out?" "I miss my mother very much, and it's boring here" "Εvery meal is carrot cucumber cooked in salty water..." "You should play with your classmates more train and study together" "Your box of oranges is almost rotten" "Why don't you share your oranges with your classmates?" "How did you know?" "Εat them first" "You mother didn't know there's no fridge here" "Do you know if there's a phone here?" "Yes, there's one in that store at the bottom of the mountain lt only takes 4 to 5 hours to go down" "Uphill is longer, about 1 0 hours" "Here, this is for you" "Play with your friends more, it'll take your mind off of your mother" "Why is that only in Hollywood... can you find such a big hotel" "Three fat women learn to play the shuttlecock" "You kick it, i kick it, until our legs go limp" "Thank you." "Such a fun evening I want to treat everyone to oranges" "Your oranges are almost rotten!" "How did you know?" "Then I'll let you poop here!" "We get nothing to poop" "Why don't you... share your instant noodles with us?" "You knew about that?" "How about it?" "Fine, but how are we... going to cook them?" "Follow me!" "All right, everyone stop!" "It's lunchtime already?" "You wish!" "Come with me, we have a multimedia lesson today" "Cool!" "Sponsored by a mobile phone network" "The Best of the Best:" "World Kindergarten MartialArts Competition is about to begin in Yichang" "Young MartialArts students of various disciplines from around the world including Karate, Taekwando, Judo," "Wrestling, Thai kickboxing, etc will all send their best to compete" "Our own Κung Fu clans... will of course also participate" "Promoting our Wushu is a big responsibility" "Today I will teach you, "Pushing Hands"!" "Master, who is the unlucky, I mean, lucky one you're going to send?" ""Pushing Hands" is the hand-to-hand combat technique of Tai Chi" "Whoever excels shall have the chance to earn glory for our clan" "But i just dislocated my wrist two days ago!" " Me too!" " Me too!" "My stomach is bloated" "Stop whining, go out and practice!" "Four-hand engagement requires focus;" "defend by following closely" "No need to use force, if you know how to use leverage" "Fake a move, mislead your opponent, you shall triumph" " Don't underestimate the Taoists" " Yes Master!" " My knees hurt" " Me too!" " Me too!" " Me too!" "My stomach is bloated" "If you had to choose between seafood, chicken, and Sichuan spice" "Which one would you choose?" "I choose seafood. I choose chicken I choose Sichuan spice" "All of them!" "I always buy these flavors for the instant noodles I never get tired of them" "What about Tom Yum Κung flavor?" "Less so, because it's too spicy" "But i'd buy some if i see it" "Mama said to learn to eat some spicy food now... that I'm in Wuhan" "McDull, come." "Lie down here" "What the founder of our clan left us... besides his extraordinary skills, was this medicine stove I can't believe under my charge..." "The founder's medicine stove has become a cooking pot I am ashamed, but punishing you would not help matters" "Gone is the evil spirit and" "Taoist righteousness restored" "Oh, my bum..." "Have my share, i'm not eating it" "My mother is taking me home" "She learned about the competition on TV and is worried that I will be beaten up I'm sorry, it was my turn to wash the medicine stove I was going to do it" "Don't cry" "Αsk your mother to take you away for a while" "Take a break, come back when the competition is over" "Master would not be angry anymore" "Should i bring another box of instant noodles?" "We're almost out" " What?" "Sure" " Oranges?" "My mother is here." "Bye!" "Mom, mom!" "i'm over here" "Εxcuse me, I'd like to use the phone." "Anyone here?" "Be quiet, it's middle of the night!" "Sister, what are you doing here?" "This is my store and my home l only train up there, but I'm not a nun" "So you want your mother to pick you up?" "Are you going to make me go back up there I don't care!" "I want to leave too" "Dealing with you little monkeys and passing watermelons everyday" "Only Master has the patience... to train you naughty kids imagine a great master donning a big fur coat under the hot sun playing Brother Panda" "What?" "Master is Brother Panda?" "Master was exceptionally gifted" "He mastered all the skills before 20 and was recognized as the most outstanding young martial artist" "One day, a Kung Fu magazine printed... an interview with Pruce Lee" "The "Pruce Lee"?" "Of course!" "Pruce Lee said, "lf Chinese Kung Fu does not reinvent itself..."" ""it would degenerate into just acrobatic shows"" "He cited Tai Chi as an example that it was only good for fitness and its original combative powers have all but vanished" "Master read it and disagreed strongly" "He wrote a rebuttal, which prompted more rebuttals" "Someone said "talk is cheap"" "and suggested they have a match" "So everyone can see who's more powerful" "Due to the travel restrictions back then it was impossible for them to meet at the same place" "The China-Hong Kong border became the venue" "One on each side of the ShenZhen River" "A duel across the river" "Top martial artists everywhere came to witness the match" "Εveryone still talks about it today" ""The Battle of ShengZhen River"" "One is an international superstar" "The other, a reclusive Master of martial arts" "Both young and impetuous" "Εager to prove themselves" "Εven though the battle was across a river" "But when two experts go head to head their weaknesses and mistakes are easily spotted by the opponent" "So it was every bit as dangerous as a physical battle" "The battle lasted all night" "Both sides were exhausted" "Finally, the well-respected grand master of..." "Zen Finger spoke up..." "And halted the contest with... a loud "Ya!"" "The contest was over" "The grand master imparted some philosophical thoughts but he was obviously from a small village because his accent was impossible to decipher plus he was upside down with his big bum facing everyone" "Therefore his long speech... was understood by none" "As to who won the contest" "Opinions were widely divided" "Master returned to Wu Dang and fell ill" "He told me... he was fortunate the battle was across a river... or else he would have died under Pruce Lee's feet" "Therefore Master decided to... make Wushu reform his life's work" "He gave up everything and renounced the world" "He vowed to modernize Tai Chi, make it efficient and practical" "He made numerous attempts... but was not successful" "Finally, when he ran out of ideas" "He placed all his hope on you rascals" "Yo, what you got down there?" "That's a bit crass" "How about: mama, show me your thing?" "That's even more vulgar!" "In order to teach you little rascals... he ignored the jeers from his peers and came up with all sorts of song and dance, and gimmicks" "What he got in return was a full body rash" "It started out as a small patch and could have been cured by our own "Rash-Away" ointment" "Little did we know... the herbal medicine made it worse because it was spiced with seafood... and Sichuan hot sesame oil!" "Never mind that" "Just when he needed you, you kids fled like bats out of hell" "Master has lost all hopes" " Sister... - l've got a headache." "The phone is over there" " Mom..." " McDull!" " Mom..." " Why are you calling so late?" "Mother, please come and watch me compete" "When?" "What competition?" "What should I bring?" "It's easy to retreat, hard to advance." "Keep the waist still" "Your footwork will let you maneuver around the wild beasts" "I'm going to teach you the Way of Heaven and Earth" "The natural way of things by Lao tzu" " What about the Shi tzu?" " What Shi tzu?" "Never mind" "A person follows the natural order of the universe and the universe follows the way of "Tao"" "But what does "Tao" follow?" ""Tao" follows its own self." "No pretense, no charade." "What it is, it is." "You mean "Tao"... doesn't sell out its chicken?" "We are ready to leave the mountain McDull, what are you doing here?" "May, what are you doing here?" "I signed up for Yuen Wo-Ping's Summer Wire-work Camp I came because I heard..." "Tom Cruise was coming also" "You had your eyebrows done?" "No, I didn't." "Gotta go, roll call time I'm flying..." "Oops, my wires are showing" "Master, we meet at last!" "I'm Pruce Lee's disciple." "My master used to talk about you all the time" "He told me about your battle" "He said the river saved him... from a crushing defeat" "He was inspired by you and dedicated the last years of his life studying Taoist Kung Fu I made this from his last manuscript" "He would have wanted you to see it" "Contestants, let the games begin!" "Representative from Butterfly Palms!" "From Wu Dang, Spring Flower Gate, McDull!" "McDull, go for it!" "Hey, that's my friend!" "MC!" "I need to go poop..." "Testing, testing..." "Hello, my friends" "My name is Mak-zi, aka McFat I'm very happy to see you all here" "This is a new clock invented by moi" "The mechanism inside turns... every 1 00 years and the alarm sounds off... every 1 ,000 years" "Once it has sounded off 1 00 times meaning 1 00,000 years later the bronze chicken I made... would poke its head out and announce the time by going" ""cuckoo, cuckoo"" "My workmanship was crude" "Please don't laugh at the chicken when you see it" "Thank you very much" "Sayonara" "Thank you...thank you" "A hundred years seem like a second" "A slight movement in the clock... brings out such a profound thingy" "Of course, some are having... a sudden enlightenment" "The first one is Mrs. Mak" "Oh, our ancestor has spoken!" "She thought: "National TV, we are going to be famous!"" "Thus she hastily returns to... their ancestral home hastily opens a chicken-themed restaurant" "and hastily closes it down" "At the end of her ropes," "Mrs. Mak wracks her brain for another idea" "She realizes it'd be best to build her business... in her own neighborhood" "Another person who had a sudden enlightenment was McDull" "Hey, that's my friend!" "Your friend...has no waist!" "All of you...bring it on!" "McDull took a good beating" "He spent time laying low in the countryside" "With nothing special to do" "But he did find his father's father's father's father... father's father's father..." "Mak-zi aka McFat's manuscript lt basically fell into his lap" "He followed the instructions in the manuscript and made several useless objects" "May, do you have any cow dung to spare?" "Tom Cruise didn't show up lf he did, he would have had a sudden enlightenment too" "Master also seemed to have realized something" "Not sure what it was" "But Sister finds him more cheerful... than before maybe because his rashes have cleared up He got a visitor's visa to come to Hong Kong... and see McDull" "Move your feet, please" "They overstuffed themselves and started talking about the competition again" "McDull wanted to know, with his sudden enlightenment" "Why did he get beaten so badly?" "Master smiled and said..." "Look" "A cup of water can easily float a toothpick" "But if it were a ship then we'd need a river or an ocean" "McDull has nothing deep to say..." "That toothpick, I picked my teeth before" "And that's the way it is." "Nothing wonderful" "Life goes on" "McDull remains chubby" "Kind, straight-forward, and dense" "I have a friend who went horseback-riding in Auckland when she came back her bum was still jiggly like before" "We jiggled together to another elementary school while McDull stayed in the same one" "Afterwards we went our separate ways" "That's nothing wonderful" "But, I have another friend, he said." "to be wonderful doesn't mean... sudden and unusual" "That extremely and excruciatingly slow-moving But you can be sure that it's moving, clock, is already a wonderful thing lf, by any chance when i grow up I see McDull again lf McDull is still so strong" "so gentle, so dense and so straight-forward" "and the eraser l gave him is still so clean and unused lf that's the case... then something wonderful has already happened."