"(♪ Stuck in the Middle with You:" "Grace Potter)" "♪ Well, I don't know why I came here tonight" "♪ Got the feeling that something ain't right" "♪ I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair" "♪ And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs" "♪ And there's clowns to the left of me r Jokers to the right, here I am" "♪ Stuck in the middle with you" "♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪" "Can I just say how proud I am of the four of us?" "I mean, we were such adults in there." "(Elevator dings)" "I think we should thank Bud for suggesting that we use an arbitrator." "Thank you, Bud." "Jerry was the perfect choice." "Fair, sensitive, kind, and I think he brought out the best in us." " And now that the papers are signed..." " Shut up, Sol." "Yeah." "Your father's right, Nwahudike." "We didn't know how to handle this, but somehow you did." " Yes, thank you, Bud." " Thank you." "Stop!" "Please stop." "(Elevator stops)" " What the hell?" " We're not moving!" "(Robert) That's OK, Grace." "I'm sure it'll start up again in a second." "(Woman on speaker) Can I help you?" " I hope so." "We are in an elevator that is temporarily standing still." "Robert, say the word." "We're stuck!" "No need to use that word yet." "The word "stuck"?" "It's just a word, it's better than "trapped"." "Oh, gosh!" " She's claustrophobic." "(Ringing)" " Hello, hello!" "(Robert) Calm down, please, Grace." "(Gasping) There's no air in here." " There is air!" "(Inhales deeply)" "(Breathlessly) Well, why isn't it going into my lungs?" "It's just anxiety, Grace." "Why don't you tell your anxiety," ""Hey there, anxiety, I'm not going to let you rule me."" "Because my anxiety doesn't give a flying fuck!" "Don't you have a Valium?" "You always carry Valium." " I took two before the meeting." " Then you should be fine now." "I said I took two pills, not two handfuls." "No, no." "Grace, look at me." "Focus on me." "Let me be your Valium." "I'm Frankie Valium." " Who was also a singer in the '60s." "(Gasping) I need more air." " I need air." "I..." " Oh." "Oh, wait, wait." "We've got you!" " Easy,easy." " I've got pot gummies." "Eat this." " No, no!" " I need one, I need one." "Me, me, me." "What's going on with you, Bud?" "God!" "There's less air down here." "I have to stand up." "You all have to sit down." "Honey, are you having a panic attack?" "Maybe, a little..." "A little bit." " You claustrophobic, too?" " Actually, no." "Wait, didn't this happen once before?" "I'm OK, I'm OK." "Right." "That weekend before he started at the firm." "That's almost five years ago." "Was that Memorial Day?" "(Both) Labour Day." "Happy Labour Day weekend, union supporters." "Viva la vega!" " Are those grapes?" "For Cesar Chavez." "Don't you know anything about the labour movement in this country?" "Guys, where's the coffee?" "Communist cake is sewed." "(Softly) It's better that we're doing this together." "(Softly) I don't know." "Just let me do the talking." "Sol, trust me." "The trouble with your socialist dessert is it's very rich." "It's a joke." " Ah!" "It's just good you're trying." "Sol and I want to talk to you about something..." "You know what'd make the joke better is if you had made it about the equal distribution of cake slices." "Oh, yeah, that's a riot." "You see, a few years back, uh, Sol and I were in New York on a business trip, and it was a pretty big deal for us." "We stayed at the Waldorf-Astoria, and, you know, we finished all our business..." "Yoo-hoo, big, fat whale on the loose." "(Grace) Hi, honey." " Hi, Mom." "Hi, kids." "Look at you, radiant, pregnant woman." "Oh!" "Mmm." "Sol, get your ass up here and get a piece of the wonder of life." "Hi." "I thought they were going to Mitch's parents' for the weekend." "Yeah, to drop off Macklin." "Everybody's coming here." "It's Labour Day." "Hello, little baby." "This is your Aunt Frankie." "Does this little bumpkin have a name yet?" "She's not telling anyone." "Believe me, I've tried." "Hello, little baby, you're so good." "Gladys?" " No." " Ursula?" " Stargazer Vera?" " Hmm." " Frankie?" " All good ideas." "Pool time for me." "♪ Make your own kind of music" "♪ Sing your own special song" "I'm going to make you a big, fat smoothie." "♪ Even if nobody else sings along ♪" "(Laughs)" "I see pregnant women at the office every day and none of them are as excited as Frankie, ever." "Well, she never got to do it herself, so it's special." "Robert, you and Sol are gonna have to do the sauce ASAP, because it's gonna take at least three hours tor the chicken to marinate, and I still have to get the corn on and start my shucking at three." "And where will I be, Sergeant, at 0400?" "At the cutting board, you're doing the salad." "And what if we eat at 7:10?" "Then we have failed." "(Mobile ringing)" "Let me guess, work?" "I'll keep it short, Robert." "I promise I won't work this weekend." "Hello?" "You get him on the phone right now and I'll take care of it." "It's no big deal, Robert." "I won't miss my shucking time." "Phew!" "She works too hard, even weekends." "Nah, it's fine, Frankie." "It's what she loves." "Not me." "Life's too short, unless you drink my smoothies." "I'm good with my life expectancy." " How you feeling, babe?" " You know what?" " Better than I have felt in months." " Yeah?" "Yep." "I was feeling a little nauseous earlier, and then I swallowed some pool water..." "Thank you." "I think it settled my stomach." "Well, whatever works." "How are the contractions?" "Mitch, stop." "I'm not in labour." "It's just Braxton Hicks." " OK, I know, but lust let me know." " I know." "I know." "OK, please stop worrying." "I'm not going to spend another 37 hours at the hospital like we did with Macklin." "Not happening." "But we did the giant puzzle of the covered bridge in winter." " Aw, hey, stud." " Hey." " How was your big date last night?" " Aw, it was good." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "You still dating the Zumba instructor?" "No." "This one I met at a stoplight." "Laura." "Lauren?" "Laurel." " Maybe Meg." "(Both laughing)" "Where's the Mack Attack, huh?" "Oh, he's attacking his other grandma and grandpa this weekend." "Oh, really?" "I got him this really cool playhouse." "Why is it that people are always getting the kids presents?" "We're the ones who need them." "Aw." "Don't worry." "I got you something, too." "Oh, yeah?" "Wait, is it weed?" "Oh, boy!" "Beat it!" "All right, great." "What the hell are you wearing?" "Hmm?" "Ohhh. (Chuckles)" "It's Vilebrequin." "Their swimsuits have the Saint-Tropez spirit." "Hmm, fancy." "You gonna wear that on your first day of work?" "I might." "I guess you can do whatever you want now that your daddy's the boss." "And your dad, too." "It's the best gig ever." "How's your work going?" " OK." "What happened?" " Nothing!" "I'm beating the market by 15%, so that's really good." " And?" " And" "I may have sent an email to my boss about my boss in which I called him "dumber than fuck."" "(Laughing) And in your world he would appreciate that email because?" "I was right and he was wrong, and I told him over and over that Dell was doomed and we had to get our clients out, and then the market value dropped from 16 billion to 9 in less than a year." "I rest my case." "But you understand bosses don't like it when an underling calls them "dumber than fuck."" "I totally get that." "It's just my feeling is don't be dumber than fuck." " Ow." " Ah. (Grunts)" "Bud's sleeping on the couch tonight!" "I have to speak to Martin Costa." "Look, I just received an entire shipment of squirt tops that don't squirt." "Squirt tops that don't squirt are..." "They're just tops, you see my problem?" " Yes, I will hold." "(Blender whirring)" "Frankie!" "I'm on the phone." "Sorry, it's a pulse." "I'm making Mallory a honey-Manuka shake." "It's healthy and delicious." "I don't want to bruise the chard." "She's not going to drink that." "Ugh, sorry." "Nobody's going to want to drink that." "Besides, she only drinks Ovaltine when she's pregnant." "Oh, and KFC gravy." "Not on my watch." "It's a natural probiotic." "The ancient Egyptians used it." "(Blender whirring)" "Frankie, just because I'm on hold doesn't mean I'm not on the phone." "I need to hear if someone on the other end of the line speaks." "As much as I enjoy having you explain to me how phones work," "I have a pregnant woman to take care of." "Hello?" "Uh... (Sighs)" "I've been disconnected." "Imagine." "And with all your knowledge of phones." "(sighs)" "I can'!" "believe it didn't happen after all that buildup." "Robert, we're lucky." "We dodged a bullet." "Can you imagine if we told them and your daughter and Mitch walked in?" "We'd be the biggest assholes ever." "Either way, we're going to be the biggest assholes ever, it's just a question of when." "What about the end of September?" "I can'!" "do the end of September." "It's Rosh Hashanah." "It's late this year." "Isn't it always late?" " No." "Sometimes it's early." "All right." "Then definitely October." "Definitely, but Frankie's birthday is October 12th..." "OK, OK." "We need to look at a calendar." " November." " Thanksgiving." "Forget it." "We have all those people over." "She makes tofurkey." "Sol, I know this isn't easy for you, but we will never be together if we don't pick a day." " You're right." " All right." "Then let's look at December." "Oh." "Frankie's mother died in December." "It's always a very tough month for her." "(Groans)" "What is going on in here?" "You're supposed to be making the marinade." "(Stammering)" " We were just trying to pick a date." " For what?" "A trip, a cruise, to Alaska, on a ship." "Is that what you guys wanted to talk about this morning?" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Well, December is out, right?" "January we have two fundraisers and that charity museum gala, and..." "Let's just do this after you've marinated the chicken." "Great." "We'll plan our trip then." "You know what?" "I'll marinate the chicken myself." "Robert, would you at least get the ice from the other freezer?" " We have another freezer?" " In the garage." "Alaska in January?" "I cracked." "Want to build a house?" "(Laughing)" "We should..." "We should look at the directions." "No!" "No." "Directions are bullshit." "You know what, you're right." "They are condescending." "(Laughs)" "I..." "I know what'll help here." "Yeah." " Here." " Ah, oh, no thanks." " No?" "(Laughs)" "All right." "All right." "Is this like one of those things that comes with its own little wrench?" "(Snorts)" "(Both) Wrench, wrench, wrench, wrench, wrench, wrench, wrench." "(Laughing) One more time." "(Both slowly) Wrench." "Ah, that's nice." "Cynthia, this is not about resin ID codes." "It's about the breakdown in your inspection services." "I need to speak to Martin." "Yeah, I know he's in Singapore, and it's a holiday weekend..." "It's not a holiday weekend in Singapore." "Not a holiday weekend in Singapore." "Thank you, Cynthia." "Thank you, Brianna." "She's going to get him, finally." "Oh, I'm so sorry about all this." "I really wanted to be with you this weekend." "Mom, you have a work thing." "It's no big deal." "Yeah." "Speaking of, how's yours?" "Work?" "It's good." " What's the matter?" "lt's just the usual shit." "My mouth among other things." "Brianna, you are so good at what you do." "And you make so much money" "for so many people." " Yes." "And you're always the smartest person in the room." " Yes, thank you." " You're also the least liked." "Yes, thank..." "Wait." "No." "I'm just hyper-competent, intuitive, assertive." "Yeah, which translates as intimidating, argumentative, and strident." "(Grace sighs)" "I get it." " May even share some of those qualities." " Yeah, no shit." "See!" "This is just the kind of thing that gets you fired." "You have got to figure out how to play with others." "Or figure out how to be the boss." "(sighs)" "What?" "What do you mean he's going to call me back?" "(grunts)" "(Sighs)" " Ah, I know it hurts, but your womb is dancing in a musical number that has been going on since the dawn of time." "No, it's preparing to pass a brisket through my vagina." "Such a miracle!" "Hey, honey, should I get you a fresh one?" "Please don't." "But I would love some Ovaltine." " Uh, got it!" " Thank you." "What are you doing?" "Put that cigarette out!" "We've got a pregnant woman here!" "Sorry." "Coyote, where's Mitch?" "Uh, I think he's sacked out upstairs somewhere." "I don't know why though, because I feel fuckin' great!" "(Laughs)" " Can I talk to you for a second?" "Yeah." "Hey." "How much coke are you on right now?" " I'm naturally energetic." " Sure you are." "Oh, that's..." " What?" "You OK?" "What's up?" " Yeah." "Yes." "The baby has hiccups." "(Chuckles)" "That's weird." "Us." "Talkin' about a baby." "You know, considering..." "Considering the thing we said we'd never talk about but now we're talking about because you're so fucking stoned'?" "Can you imagine me with a nine-year-old?" "No." "God, no." "(Chuckles) That was a fun summer." " I'm worried about you." " Why?" "The last few times I've seen you, you've been really high." "Relax, Mallory." "It's a holiday weekend." "I'm fine." "lam." "I'm fine." "Mallory wants her Ovaltine." "Oh, no!" "I was going to make it for her." "Can..." "Can you get the milk out of the fridge?" "Yes, lam still holding." "I thought you were going to make it." "No, not the goat milk!" "(scoffs)" "You know what?" "Make it yourself." "I'm going to go rub oil on your daughter's belly." "Frankie, she's perfectly happy just floating in the pool." "Just let her be." "She doesn't want any poking and prodding right now." "Rubbing the belly is an important facilitator to communication with the outer world." "Oh, just let her be, Frankie." "You know, when you're pregnant you don't want to be touched." "You wouldn't know, you haven't been through it." "Would you get the carrots out of the fridge?" "Let's see, what was I supposed to do?" "Corn..." "Milk!" "Ovaltine!" "(sighs)" " Hey, Mack." "You want to talk to Mommy?" " Yeah." "OK, hold on." "(Laughs)" "Hey, buddy." "I spoke to the girls and cleared up the whole trip thing." "We're not going to Alaska in January." " Thank God." " We're going to Hawaii in March." " Sol..." " I know." "I think I'm not good in these situations." "Let's find another time this week and get it over with." "This week?" "That's too soon." "We have to really rethink this and pick the exact right time." "That's, um..." "Smells nice." "What's going on?" "You're losing your nerve, aren't you?" " No." " Yes, you are." "I can see it on your face." "It's just..." "This morning, getting that close," "I saw all the hurl I'll be causing the people I love." "So, what are you telling me?" "I don't know." "(Tuts)" "No, those are too big." "I want slices, not chunks." "You know, on..." "On an angle." "You do realise I have a knife in my hand." "I don't like you right now." "Because of carrots?" "Yes, and because of what you said before." "What did I say?" "That I wouldn't know anything because I've never been pregnant." "Oh, I didn't say that." "Or if I did I certainly didn't mean it." "You did." "You've never taken me seriously as a mother." "I don't even think about you as a mother." "You're not even on my radar!" "That's even worse, it's like I don't exist enough for you to notice." "Listen, Frankie." "This is not a good time, OK'?" "I have a lotto do here, and it seems like I'm the only one doing it." "You know what, don't give me that shit." "You love being busy and overworked." "You thrive on it, and it makes you feel more important than the rest of us mortals, but I'm pretty tired of it, and it does not give you the right to be an asshole." "Wow!" "Well, I'm glad you're such an expert on what it's like to be me." "But who's being judgemental now?" " Ooh, dinner!" " Brianna, how are you?" "Mom, I got this." "On an angle, right?" "You know, I'm not really hungry." "Hey, Mal, you gonna eat?" "Uh, no, and neither are you." "My water just broke." "I..." "I think we have to go to the hospital." " What?" " Oh, my God!" "(SK." "Easy, love." " Here, I got you." "(Mallory groaning)" "Nice and slow." "(Panting and moaning)" "(Moaning intensifies)" " OK, OK." " Let it out." " Just breathe." "Oh, it's happening!" "Grace!" "Martin, where have you been?" "Uh, Grace, Grace!" "It's happening, it's happening!" " Baby, baby, baby." " She's in labour?" "You've got to get to the hospital!" " Here, you talk to him." " What am I going to say?" "Get me tops that squirt or get me my money back." "And he mean!" "Ooh, fun!" "Listen up, you little piece of shit..." " We're getting her to the hospital." " Ooh, I guess it wasn't Braxton-Hicks." "Mitch, Robert and I will follow you in our car." " But he's stoned." " Uh, it's my bad." "That was three hours ago." "I'm fine now." "Call the hospital, tell them we're coming!" "Oh, you better have an epidural in the car!" "You're doing great, honey." "One step at a time." "(Means) She's coming, she's coming!" " Oh, God!" " What can I do'?" " Oh, I can feel it, she's..." "She's..." " No, don't push." "Do not push." " Mitch, do something!" "l'm telling her not to push!" "(Screaming)" " Oh, my God, I think she's in my pants!" " What?" "(Mitch) She's in her pants!" " Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" " I got her, I got her." " Oh, my God, oh, my God." "(Giggling) -(Baby crying)" " She's perfect!" "(Baby crying)" " Look at her!" "(Crying continues)" "Blanket!" "Who has a blanket?" "Oh, um..." "Here, here, here." "Here, Robert." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "(Bud) The ambulance is on its way." "(indistinct chatter)" " Hello, baby." "(Laughing)" "Hello, Madison." "Really?" "That's the name?" "Probably why she didn't tell you." "(Mallory) Grandma loves you." "Do you see Grandma?" "I'm sorry, Frankie." "I guess I am a little self-involved right now." "You know, for me it was the first time I held my baby that motherhood began." "Me, too." " Oh!" " You have a new niece." "And you have your money hack plus 20%." "Wow!" "Nice job." "What's her name?" "Madison." "I know." "There's nothing we can do about it." "(Sneezes)" " Whoa!" " Bless you!" " God bless you!" "(Chuckling) -(Baby cooing)" "(Sol) Mazel tov, Grandpa." " I hate these." " I know." "I mean, maybe if the Cubans were allowed to have some say..." "Not in the house, Sol, please." "That was..." "I don't even have words." "From a man who usually has too many." "I'm glad I was there." "Me, too." "I really want to be here with you for these moments." "I don't want to just share secret looks." "I'm ready." "Anytime." "(Chimes chiming)" "Hey." "Can't sleep." " Exciting day." "(Chuckles) Yes, it was." "And it got me thinking." "In fact, I've made a decision." "Oh?" "I'm gonna retire this year." "Really?" "You are?" "I really am." "What about the company?" "I mean, how are you going to be able to hand it over to someone else?" "I think I might have found the right person." "Who?" " Brianna." " Brianna?" "No, seriously?" "I mean, she's brilliant, of course, but, you know," "her temperament has always..." " I have an instinct this is going to be just great for her." "And for me." "And for us." ""Mm-mum." "I know you get upset when I work on holidays." "I get upset, too." "I miss so much." "(Scoffs) What if I'd been talking on the phone about squirt tops when our granddaughter was being born?" "I miss you." "Maybe we could..." "I don't know..." "Reconnect." "Wonderful." "So, I stayed." "Out of what, a sense of duty?" "No." "I just..." "My heart broke for you, and I had to give you what you wanted." "Of course, it was crueller not to leave." "You could have saved us both five years." "Actually, I could have." "I really want to be here with you for these moments." "I don't want to just share secret looks." "I'm ready." "Anytime." "(Chimes chiming)" "Is that why you were breathing into a paper bag at breakfast?" "I didn't know what I saw, and I'd had all those beers and I was half asleep." "It made no sense, so I just put it out of my mind, and even when you told us you were gay," "I still didn't want to..." "I couldn't..." "I couldn't..." "You put it in that place you put things when you don't want to know." "I get it, honey, believe me." "And I thought the next morning I dreamt it." " Hmm." " But I had just started at the job, and maybe that was just a convenient excuse." "You're not to blame for this." "This is not your fault." " But if I had just said something..." " Bud, even if you had told us, we probably wouldn't have believed you." "Besides, you gave me five more years with your father." "(Frankie) Mmm." "(Grace and Frankie giggling)" "(Grace) Uh, too many people, too many people!" "(All cheering)"