"CAITLYN:" "I amso honoredto be part of this community." "WOMAN:" "Arewe supposedto haze her?" "(laughter)" "CAITLYN:" "I finallyfeellike" "I fit in somewhere." "KYLIE:" "Leanback." "CAITLYN:" "Wow." "Could be Caitlyn's first post." "KYLIE:" "Whatdo youwantto say?" "CAITLYN:" "Okay..." "My dad?" "(laughter)" "KIM:" "Allright,can Isee these new things in your closet?" "CAITLYN:" "I lovethisTom Ford dress." "KIM:" "Momhasthat." "(laughs)" "CAITLYN:" "Thatis funny." "Road trip!" "(people cheering)" "WOMAN:" "Vivala roadtrip." "CHANDI:" "Howdoesitfeel ?" "CAITLYN:" "Free!" "To be here, with all of you, is nothing but good." "Everybody seems to have pretty good vocal chords." "That's always been a concern for me." "WOMAN:" "I workedreallyhard." "I hated being outed by my voice." "WOMAN2 :" "She'sneverhad a girls night like this." "RHONDA:" "I feelkindof jealous." "WOMAN:" "Thereareall these trans women out there in real danger." "Most people don't have what she has, and she may be oblivious." "ANGELICA:" "I 'vebeen transitioning since I was 19." "I still haven't been able to access what you've been able to access so quickly." "BLOSSOM:" "Let'sjustbereal ." "It has something to do with your socio-economical status." "You're up there." "Come down with everybody else." "ANGELICA:" "A lotof peoplewho  want to be seen as heroes and want to, like, save our community." "They want these kind of direct, wrap a bow around it, now this person's all better and they have a job." "(indistinct arguing)" "ALISON:" "Transpeoplehave about four times the heightened extreme poverty rate as the general population, so that's very difficult to live at that level." "CHANDI:" "Wemadeitclearto" "Caitlyn that a lot of girls are going to be jaded, because the things that Caitlyn has been able to achieve in a few months, some of them will never achieve those things their whole entire life." "So, taking that into consideration, Caitlyn is still wanting to do the work to make a difference in the community." "Because even us sitting in this room, right now, have people who don't like us for their own individual reasons." "It doesn't have anything to do..." "Right!" "Right!" "Right!" "It has nothing to do with us not being good people and we can't allow that to prevent us from moving forward, doing the work that we do." "Those are the things that keep us inspired." "CAITLYN:" "Wehaveto understand that, yeah, everybody's different, okay?" "Everybody's got issues." "This is our issue, okay?" "And we're trying to deal with it, best we possibly can." "JENNY:" "But,youknow,we can't do all this work by ourselves; we need allies." "Um, there's just not enough transgender people..." "LAYA:" "WhenIcameout, Ihad  finally transitioned, trying to be myself and here I am applying to job, job after job, trying to get jobs." "And, uh... nothing." "You know, I did, I didn't want to, like, have to do this, but I ended up doing a lot of sex work." "One night I was doing it and this guy grabs behind the seat, pulls out a knife and he just starts stabbing me." "(woman gasps)" "So I jumped out and then I hear screeching." "And the car screeches and turns around and he's coming back after me to run me over." "ANGELICA:" "Oh,my God." "CHANDI:" "Societyneedstosee us as being normal human beings, just like the next person." "BLOSSOM:" "I wantedto be in  nursing school so, so bad." "I had a good GPA." "I had a good ACT score." "And, you know, the first time," "I didn't get in." "Okay, so let me work a little harder." "We took some classes, applied again." "Still nothing." "And I couldn't get into nursing school for, like, the sixth time, because I'm trans-- that people are looking at that." "And you need to be looking at my hard work and the dedication that I put into that hard work." "It-it bothers me to this day when I see those students that I went to school with in nursing school, getting those degrees, and the only reason why I didn't get in was because I'm trans." "And I make straight A's." "I work hard." "Stop looking on the outside and start looking on the inside and seeing that we want to be just normal people." "CAITLYN:" "I 'velivedagreat life." "And I realize, in this transition... that I kind of have that privileged status." "You were a white guy." "I worked hard." "I've, you know... been able to put a few dollars away." "So..." "I'm blessed." "I'm in a wonderful position in life and boy, oh, boy, what I'm learning-- unbelievable." "Um, it's shocking to me to see the struggles that are out there." "BLOSSOM:" "Andeverybodyknows" "I am a big Ellen DeGeneres fan." "Seeing when she first came out as a lesbian, she had her sitcom going and, you know, they cancelled it right after and it seemed like so many things was going wrong for her, but then," "at the end, she got The Ellen" "DeGeneres Show." "I think about nursing school that way." "I didn't get it yet, but one day, I'm gonna get it and I'm gonna stay in it." "(all talking at once)" "CAITLYN:" "Thankyoufor  sharing that with us." "Thank you." "JEN:" "Thatwasanamazing afternoon." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,it reallywas ." "JEN:" "Um,life-changing." "CAITLYN:" "Blossom'spassion." "I loved her passion." "JEN:" "She'sreallyspecial." "She's really special." "To see someone who was genuinely trying, who was working really hard in school, who was, you know, getting good grades, who wanted to do something with her life, and was still being met with obstacles, still being told" "no." "I think that was really kind of shocking for Cait, that, like, oh, gosh, this is true, like, you as a black trans woman can't do what you clearly want to do and should be able to do because" "of these intersections of your identity." "CAITLYN:" "Kindof putsitall in perspective, doesn't it?" "JEN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Mybigproblemis" "I'm worried about some stupid paparazzi taking a picture." "JEN:" "Weneedtohave these conversations." "We can really learn from each other." "CAITLYN:" "In?" "We're..." "Oh, right here." "Okay." "Hola." "(chuckles)" "What did you think of that?" "JENNY:" "Amazing." "(all talking at once)" "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "This is what I want to do." "Uh..." "I was crying during" "Blossom's talk about what she's been through, okay?" "Andrea, you're in this." "Sit right down here." "ANDREA:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Andrea,our producer." "Um, I want you to take that talk that she had." "ANDREA:" "Yeah?" "CAITLYN:" "I wantyoutoedit  it together." "ANDREA:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Okay,andIwant you to give it to me." "ANDREA:" "Yougotit." "CAITLYN:" "Okay?" "Um ... uh, we're gonna get her on the..." "We're gonna get her on The Ellen" "DeGeneres Show." "I'm gonna call Ellen." "ANDREA:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "And...she'sgonna go to nursing school and we're gonna pay for it, okay?" "ANDREA:" "That'samazing." "That's amazing." "CAITLYN:" "Andwe 'renotgonna tell her until then." "I guarantee you" " Ellen sees that story." "She would have her on." "We got to help." "ANDREA:" "That'samazing." "CAITLYN:" "It'sagreatstory." "ANDREA:" "That'sagreatstory." "CAITLYN:" "Okay?" "All you got to do is edit it together." "Come on." "CHANDI:" "Cait,shehas the  biggest heart and she wants to help everyone." "But she cannot save the world." "She's got to work on one person at a time." "And if she's able to help that one somebody, then her work is done." "CAITLYN:" "Oneat atime,baby !" "Get it done." "CHANDI:" "Getit done." "CAITLYN:" "Getit done." "CHANDI:" "Getit done." "Get it done." "RONDA:" "ThevillainSonoma fell through." "I'm supposed to find a villa in a day." "It took me weeks." "She's telling me that I'm supposed to come here and have fun and-and relax." "And I'm not relaxing." "I'm actually more stressed out than I need to be." "COURTNEY:" "I don'tthinkshe  knows that at all." "And I think she thinks, "I'm so lucky I get to work and hang out with my best friend every single day." "And she thinks you feel the same exact way." "RHONDA:" "There'sno pointin my being here;" "I'd get more done if I were at home." "COURTNEY:" "Maybeyoujustneed  to talk to her, 'cause I don't think she has any idea that you feel this way." "Because when you're around her, you're like, "I got it," "I got it..."" "RHONDA:" "No,Iknow,Iknow, I know;" "I do want to talk to her about it, but at this point, I'm not gonna talk to her about it on this trip." "COURTNEY:" "Yeah." "RHONDA:" "Thisis thefirst time she's got out and I want it to be special for her." "We were best friends." "I took her to the hospitals in the middle of the night." "COURTNEY:" "I know." "RHONDA:" "I nursedherbackto health." "I did everything for her." "Now she's got all these new friends and it's, like, she's just acting like, "Oh, see you later."" "And she doesn't see it;" "she doesn't." "CAITLYN:" "Lookat Chandi!" "CHANDI:" "Putaringonit ." "CAITLYN:" "I hateskates." "Oh!" "WOMAN:" "Lookat Candis!" "She's so good!" "CHANDI:" "Somedaysit'sso heavy, we have to let it go sometimes and have fun." "(laughing)" "SKATER( indistance):" "Ooh!" "BLOSSOM:" "Uh-oh." "WOMAN:" "Okay." "Who's more attracted to men?" "Raise your hand." "CANDIS:" "Isthatahand ?" "CAITLYN:" "I-Idon'tknow." "You would feel so much more feminine if you were with a guy." "WOMAN:" "Wait,what?" "WOMAN2 :" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "Yougonnadate women, you gonna date men?" "I don't know." "CANDIS:" "Allright." "Ready." "Ready for a roller derby." "(laughing)" "CAITLYN:" "Myquestion," "Candis..." "CANDIS:" "Yeah?" "CAITLYN:" "Howdidyou get that voice?" "CANDIS:" "I justhadit." "CAITLYN:" "Justhadit?" "You never had any adjustments, nothing?" "CANDIS:" "Nothing." "CAITLYN:" "Youwerejust fortunate to have that voice, right from the beginning." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "I work it." "(laughs)" "CHANDI:" "I don'tknow,Ilike  my voice." "CAITLYN:" "I likeyourvoice, too-- no..." "CHANDI:" "I likemy voice." "It works." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,it just,like, it fits you." "CHANDI:' CauseI knowpeople who are cisgendered women whose voices are actually deeper than mine." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CHANDI:" "Andthat'swhat people say they clock me for, is my voice." "CANDIS:" "Butyouknowwhat ?" "The more you live with yourself in a comfortable way, the more you don't care if people clock you, you know what I mean?" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,right." "JENNY:" "This-thisis it , people." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "JENNY:" "Get over it." "Right?" "CANDIS:" "Getoverit." "CHANDI:" "Yeah,totally." "JENNY:" "Youknow,we'regonna go just so far but then it's... everybody else has to meet us." "CHANDI:" "Mm-hmm." "JEN:" "Right,exactly." "People also make up the reasons they clock you, after they know." "(laughter)" "They're like, oh... once you tell them, "Oh, yeah, I could tell by your hands, your Adam's apple, your voice."" "But show a guy a random picture of any regular girl and say," ""She's trans," and they go, "Oh, yeah, I can tell."" "JENNY:" "Oh,yeah." "CANDIS:" "I cantellbyher voice." "JEN:" "I canguaranteeyou ." "They'll be like, "Oh, yeah," "I can tell." (laughs)" "CANDIS:" "AndI'vealwaysbeen  like, shut the (bleep) up." "CHANDI:" "Right." "CANDIS:" "Youdon'tknow" "(bleep)." "(Jen giggles)" "CANDIS:" "SorryI'mswearing." "CAITLYN:" "That'sfunny." "CANDIS:" "I 'mkindof fromthe  school of thought where-- and I hope to get Cait here-- your voice is powerful." "It's who you are." "It's your identity." "You were this other person and you're allowed to be both." "You're allowed start from one place and end in another and not completely erase who you are." "And your voice has a lot to do with... with who that is." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sgo !" "CHANDI:" "Youlikeponytails," "Caitlyn?" "CAITLYN:" "I ...youknowwhat?" "This is the first time I've gone with a ponytail." "CHANDI:" "Okay." "♪ ♪" "CLERK:" "Hi." "CAITLYN:12to a13." "CLERK:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Somewhere... somewhere in there." "CLERK:" "Okay." "♪ ♪" "JENNY:" "Thankyoufor helping me." "CANDIS:" "Ofcourse." "CAITLYN:" "I hateskates." "Whoa!" "CANDIS:" "Oh,no !" "CAITLYN:" "Lookat Chandi!" "CHANDI:" "Putaringonit ." "Some days are so heavy and it's always work, work, work, work, work, so we have to, you know, let it go sometime and... have fun." "WOMAN:" "Lookat Candis!" "She's so good!" "SINGER:♪ Ifthere'saGod♪" "Surely He wants me to be" "♪ Myself" "If there's a God... ♪" "CANDIS:" "Ah." "(Caitlyn whooping)" "SINGER:♪ Ifthere'saGod!" "♪" "CAITLYN:" "Youandme, wehave  a long way to fall." "BLOSSOM:" "Yes!" "Alongway." "CAITLYN:" "So,yeah,yeah." "Sing it." "BLOSSOM:" "You'reso tall." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "That's it." "Sideways." "BLOSSOM:" "Thankyou,Caitlyn, for teaching me." "CAITLYN:" "See,whenIskate,I want it to go this way and this way." "BLOSSOM:" "Okay." "Oh, my gosh, am I skating?" "CAITLYN:" "You'reskating." "You are skating." "BLOSSOM:" "I 'mskating!" "CAITLYN:" "Now,where'shome for you?" "BLOSSOM:" "Mississippi." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,youlivein" "Mississippi." "BLOSSOM:" "Yes." "When I graduate, I'll be the first transgender woman from my university." "CAITLYN:" "Really?" "BLOSSOM:" "Yes." "CAITLYN:" "Now,whereare you  going to school?" "BLOSSOM:" "Um,I'mat" "Mississippi University for Women now, and when I graduate, I want to go to DC." "I'm gonna apply for nursing school again." "I feel like there's so much more opportunity for me there than in" "Mississippi." "CAITLYN:" "Inthenursing world?" "BLOSSOM:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Good!" "We all gotta live our dreams." "BLOSSOM:" "That'sright." "I might have to go the alternative route, but I'm gonna keep going forward." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "BLOSSOM:" "Keepgoing." "CAITLYN:" "I reallycan't imagine what Blossom has gone through." "I mean, she's worked so hard to... to do all the right things, to move forward in life." "The educational system in the" "United States, um, needs to realize that these are just normal people." "Tomorrow, we've got a villa up in Sonoma." "We could have a car bring you up for the day." "BLOSSOM:" "Yeah,Iwould love that." "Thank you." "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "CHANDI:" "Ah!" "BLOSSOM:" "Uh-oh." "(Chandi laughs)" "RONDA:" "Lookwho'shere." "ZACKARY:" "Hi!" "CAITLYN:" "Oh!" "Well, look who's here!" "ZACKARY:" "Howareyou guys?" "RONDA:" "Blossom'shere." "BLOSSOM:" "Hello,youguys,hi!" "CAITLYN:" "Everybody'stalking about you." "BLOSSOM:" "Hi." "ZACKARY:" "I 'mZackary." "BLOSSOM:" "Hi,I'mBlossom." "Nice to meet you." "CAITLYN:" "Well,let'sgoup there." "Let's do it." "RONDA:" "Oh,my God!" "JEN:" "Thisis so gorgeous." "RONDA:" "Let'sgo inside." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sgo ." "RONDA:" "Rememberthiswas , like, the last minute." "CAITLYN:" "I loveit ." "JENNY:" "Thisis beautiful." "ZACKARY:" "I thinkwe didgood." "CAITLYN:" "Wedidgood?" "RONDA:" "I didn'ttotallyfail." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,goodjob ." "JEN:" "Youdidgood,honey." "CAITLYN:" "You'rebackinour good graces." "CANDIS:" "Thisis amazing." "JEN:" "Who'sgoingin?" "RONDA:" "I am,Iam." "You are." "WOMAN:" "Let'sgo ." "CAITLYN:" "Chandi--partyin the pool." "I've been thinking, "Damn, I'm feeling way too comfortable."" "(laughter)" "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CHANDI:" "It'syourdestiny," "Cait-- what's destined to be will be." "CANDIS:" "Didyouthinkit would be this comfortable?" "CAITLYN:" "I 'vebeen comfortable by myself my entire life." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Thistrip,I'vebeen  not in my house, and I've been out, feeling extraordinarily comfortable being myself." "And to be honest with you, it's scary." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "BecauseI'malready thinking, "I don't want to go back there."" "I am really enjoying the peace and quiet up here." "It is so nice to be free." "In L.A., I have the-the media coming after me, and there is no privacy." "And, you know, hey, I get it." "I'm doing this very publicly." "So I can understand that." "But it also can drive you crazy." "I don't want to go back home." "CAITLYN:" "I don'twanttogo home" " I'm just having a wonderful, wonderful time here." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CHANDI:" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "Withfriendsand  people that identify with me and" "I identify with them, and the stories we've had." "CANDIS:" "Andno matterh-how many people say they understand and support..." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CANDIS:...theydon'ttruly understand." "CAITLYN:" "Understand..." "Nobody understands it like everybody on this trip." "CANDIS:" "Sothere's-there'sa comfort level being around trans women that I've found." "CHANDI:" "Mm-hmm." "CANDIS:" "Sowhatdoyoudoto combat that feeling of not wanting to go home?" "CAITLYN:" "Uh,to be honest with you, uh, I, uh, at this point, uh, I, honestly, I really don't know." "Um, you know, I've got five weeks until the ESPYs, which will be my first public appearance." "Scared to death of that, 'cause" "I'm doing it right in front of my peers." "CANDIS:" "Yeah,that'salotof pressure." "CHANDI:" "Thatis alot ." "CAITLYN:" "SuperBowl champions, the... all the guys who won..." "CHANDI:" "Allthe hypermasculine men." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,boy." "CANDIS:" "Whatareyou most nervous about that night?" "CAITLYN:" "Exposingyourselfto the world." "Doing it live." "Five weeks, that's the day." "(shuddering breath)" "It's gonna be tough." "(voice breaking):" "My family... (sighs deeply, sniffles)" "Not being... having my whole family there." "That's the tough part." "I want 'em to be proud of their daddy." "(sniffles)" "CHANDI:" "Andtheyare ." "They truly are." "CAITLYN:" "Uh,well,yeah." "So, anyway..." "It'll be a marginal..." "I hope I can hold myself together" " I can't even hold myself together thinking about it." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "But..." "I'lldoit." "CANDIS:" "Youhavethe girls' support." "CHANDI:" "Yes,youdo." "So give old Caitlyn a big old hug." "CAITLYN:" "I appreciateit ." "CHANDI:" "Caitis on ajourney that is amazing, but, unlike her, we... our... we didn't do our journey underneath the lights and cameras, you know?" "So she has a whole nother can of worms that she's investing in by going through this process." "CANDIS:" "Well,allright." "CHANDI:" "Word!" "CANDIS:" "Thatis asheersuit ." "I love it." "JEN:" "How'sthewaterfeel ?" "CHANDI:" "Itfeelsgreat." "JENNY:" "Isthat...isthat  a one-piece?" "CAITLYN:" "Uh,that'sa one-piece, this is a two... two-piece, right here." "JENNY:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Allright,we'lllay 'em out on the bed." "That one rocks." "This is a one-piece." "I love my daughter to death..." "JENNY:( snickers)Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Kimberly." "JENNY:" "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:" "Butthisiskind of, uh, one that Kimberly would wear." "Do you know what I'm saying?" "JENNY:" "Uh,notreally." "(Jenny laughs)" "I'm sorry." "CAITLYN:" "Yes." "Probably a little bit more revealing in the cleavage department." "JENNY:" "Oh,Isee ." "Okay." "Well, you've got it to work with now." "CAITLYN:" "Well,Igot  something to work with, yeah." "You know?" "JENNY:" "I wantto seethe  white." "CAITLYN:" "I 'mgoingwithwhite too-- all right." "JENNY:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Thisis the decision: it's the white, over-the-one-side-of-the- shoulder outfit." "PRODUCER:" "Doyouhaveany anxiety about doing this?" "RONDA:" "Oh,letmeseethis." "Look at her." "What the heck?" "JENNY:" "Haveyoubeenswimming in your own bathing suit yet?" "CAITLYN:" "No." "WOMAN:" "Oh,my gosh." "CAITLYN:" "I can'tgo to the beach or to a pool unless I wear one of these things anymore." "Putting on that bathing suit represents a lot to me." "Um, kind of scary because, you know, you're really exposing yourself." "Okay, Jen, this is the big one." "I am about as nervous I can possibly be right now." "♪ ♪" "(indistinct chatter)" "CANDIS:" "Bang,bang,bang." "(women whooping)" "CAITLYN:" "Okay,areyou ready?" "OTHERS:" "Yeah!" "(chattering, whooping)" "CAITLYN:" "Wedidit!" "Yay !" "CANDIS:" "Ay,ay ,ay ." "CAITLYN:" "ButI'mnot getting my hair and makeup wet, 'cause we got to do this other thing, yeah." "Okay, I did it." "I got the bathing suit on." "In the water, it was nerve-wracking." "It just... yes, it felt very freeing." "And I did see my reflection in the... in the glass door." "Looked pretty good." "The ability to grow is directly related to the amount of insecurity you can take in your life." "JENNY:( gasps)Ooh." "CAITLYN:" "Doyoulikethat  one?" "JENNY:" "That'sbeautiful." "CHANDI:" "Jen." "JEN:" "I can'ttouch." "JENNY:" "I 'mnowgonnadoa  magic trick." "Watch my eyelashes disappear." "CAITLYN:" "Disappear." "Oh, there they go." "Okay." "Whoa!" "Okay." "(laughter)" "♪ ♪" "CAITLYN:" "Riddenamotorcycle?" "ZACKARY:" "I ..." "No." "CAITLYN:" "Don'tlie." "Okay, good-- okay, say so." "JEN:" "Never." "Never." "BLOSSOM:" "I 'veriddenone, once, with someone." "CAITLYN:" "Okay,thisisscary." "Okay." "(laughter)" "ZACKARY:" "There'sthis tendency for-for trans women to really conform to traditional ideas of femininity, you know?" "Like, as much as possible." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sjustscrewit up." "ZACH:" "Yeah,Iwas justgonna say." "It's so awesome that you're disrupting that." "CAITLYN:" "Thisis aoff-road practice place, just for women." "I have ridden motocross bikes all my life, and I have all the scars to prove it." "I really thought, with the girls, I wanted... have... do something besides roller-skating to kind of get 'em out of their comfort zone, try something very new." "SHELINA:" "Hi,I'mShelina." "CAITLYN:" "Niceto seeyou ." "SHELINA:" "I runGirlz" "Motocamps, and we're here to teach you guys all how to ride." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sdo it !" "I want to see them on a bike!" "(laughter)" "I'm gonna be right beside you, holding your hand." "JENNY:" "Wehaveall thisgroup of women suited up and ready to ride, and I think a lot of us are a little bit afraid of it." "But the whole point of this is to do something new, to do something brave, and to do it out in the open." "♪ ♪" "JEN:" "I paidalot ofmoney for this chest, so it needs to be protected." "(laughs)" "SHELINA:" "Letme see." "BLOSSOM:" "I 'maboutto ridea dirt bike for the first time ever in my good Southern country life." "Yes, it's amazing that I'm here and that I'm trying new experiences and everything." "Ooh!" "CAITLYN:" "No..." "SHELINA:" "Youallright?" "BLOSSOM:" "Yes,yes." "CAITLYN:" "Okay,that'sthe  worst that's gonna happen." "If you start going too fast, just pull that clutch in, and that'll help slow you down." "BLOSSOM:" "Pullit in ." "All right." "CAITLYN:" "Andit 'll-it'll stop." "BLOSSOM:" "Gotcha." "SHELINA:" "Wantto tryagain?" "(Blossom screams happily)" "CAITLYN:" "Wayto go !" "CAITLYN:" "Oh!" "Hey!" "That's the stuff." "There you go." "SHELINA:" "Thatwasawesome!" "CAITLYN:" "Allright,way to go!" "CHANDI:" "Seehowyou inspire?" "I've learned from Cait to hang in there and you can achieve what you want when you take that time to do it." "RONDA:" "Myhandiskillingme." "COURTNEY:" "Youneedtoputice on that." "You're injured." "RONDA:" "I kindof hadalittle accident last night when we were roller-skating." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sgo ." "Youready?" "RONDA:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Where'sallyour stuff?" "RONDA:" "Caitlyn." "Ow!" "CAITLYN:" "Oh,my God." "Look at that hand." "It's looking worse." "Grab my finger." "See?" "You can ride." "That's all you need to do." "COURTNEY:" "Don'tpullit." "RONDA:" "Really?" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,that'sall you  need to do." "♪ ♪" "(engine starts)" "CAITLYN:" "Allright!" "CANDIS:" "I 'mriding!" "CAITLYN:" "That'sit ." "CANDIS:" "Itwassofun." "Oh." "I've always wanted to do that." "CAITLYN:" "Lookit ,herhair's still perfect." "That's not fair." "SHELINA:" "Thankyouall for  coming to Girlz Motocamps." "(all whooping)" "I'm really proud of all of you guys." "CAITLYN:" "Thisgrouphas been through a lot in their lives, and to see everybody out there with a smile, having some fun, um, and overcoming another obstacle, uh, has been really great, and you guys did good." "I was really proud of you." "It's an experience we'll always remember together." "And last but not least, we're all very jealous of your hair." "(laughter)" "Yeah." "Yeah, look at that." "Look at that head of hair she's got." "Oh, my God!" "♪ ♪" "JENNY:" "BecauseI'ma gentleman, I'll hold your chair for you." "ZACKARY:" "ToCaitlynfor  having us." "CAITLYN:" "Yay!" "And to everybody here for helping out on this cause." "CANDIS:" "I wantto hearwhat it is like to date as a trans woman in our community." "WOMAN:" "Caitlyn,youstart." "(laughter)" "CAITLYN:" "Absolutelynothing." "(laughter)" "CHANDI:" "I knowforafact  you've said many times that you've only been attracted to women." "You've never been..." "CAITLYN:" "I 'veonlybeenwith women." "CHANDI:" "Andonlybeen attracted to them." "CAITLYN:" "I gotbiggerthings than an orgasm to worry about." "CHANDI:" "Biggerthingsto figure out." "CAITLYN:" "Biggerthingsto worry about than orgasms." "WOMAN:" "Who'smoreattracted to men?" "Raise your hand." "JENNY:" "Isthatahand ?" "CAITLYN:" "I-Idon'tknow." "I don't know." "WOMAN:" "Shedoesn'tknow." "CAITLYN:" "I 'veneverbeenwith a guy." "Are you gonna date women?" "You gonna date men?" "What are you gonna do?" "I don't know." "CAITLYN:" "Thewholedance between a male and a female..." "WOMAN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:...um,youwould feel so much more feminine if you were with a guy." "WOMAN:" "Wait,what?" "CAITLYN:" "No." "WOMAN:" "Wait,what?" "RONDA:" "Justphysically." "CAITLYN:" "Youwouldfeelmore  feminine, like you say, if you're with a guy who treats you that way." "I can appreciate the male form, okay?" "Um..." "JENNY:" "I loveto hearyou say  that." "I've never heard you say that before." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Or youcould look at... yeah, you can appreciate that." "Um, it-it doesn't mean that I would go that..." "I-I don't know, unless I-I got there." "CHANDI:" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "Andforme, ifthat  was the case... as far as a male/female relationship, I would want to have the right parts." "WOMAN:" "Thepartsyou feel comfortable with?" "CAITLYN:" "What'sthat?" "WOMAN:" "Thepartsyou 'dfeel comfortable with?" "CAITLYN:" "Uh,yes,and he feels comfortable with." "But I-I don't count anything out in the fu..." "I don't know where it's all going." "CHANDI:" "Caitis goingto figure out who she wants to date." "She says that she's never had an interest in men before, but she's hot, so what are you gonna do when men begin to approach you?" "JENNY:" "I thinkI'mthe only woman here who was and is exclusively attracted to women before and after and I'm not less of a woman or less feminine because I'm attracted to women." "CAITLYN:" "Absolutely,Iagree." "But that-that, absolutely, I agree, because that's the way you feel." "CHANDI:" "Andit 'sso goodthat people are now having to realize that gender is more than just male and female." "WOMAN:" "Yes." "CHANDI:" "I wantsomeonewho is a great all-around person, regardless of whether you're masculine or feminine." "I just want you to be cool." "I want you to be somebody who I can chill with." "Um, if you like Beyoncé, that's a bonus, you know?" "(laughter)" "JENNY:" "Ronda." "I just didn't, I didn't know your history." "I didn't know that you were, you were friends." "RONDA:" "We'rebestfriends." "Like, we would go to m-movies twice a week." "We would have dinner." "She'd come to my house." "And I miss my friendship with her." "And I feel like everyone else is kind of trumping me." "JENNY:" "I mean,rightnow she  is a woman walking in sunshine." "RONDA:" "Oh,exactly." "JENNY:" "Youknow,for the  first time." "RONDA:" "Yeah." "JENNY:" "She'snotgonnaforget who her friends are." "The place she's at right now is not the place she's gonna stay." "RONDA:" "Okay...oh !" "JENNY:" "Youknow,and ..." "RONDA:" "Well,Idon 'tknow." "'Cause I feel like she's so happy and she's so, like, high and, like, I want her to be happy like that." "JENNY:" "Well,yeah,she 'll, she'll, she'll stay high and happy." "My best friend from-from high school, he was caught off-guard by my transition." "He didn't, he didn't quite get it." "I mean, he said he loved me." "He said he-he'd follow me, but he had no idea what I was talking about." "There are times when you're close, there are times when you're less close, but you know, friendship-friendship is a long game." "RONDA:" "No,exactly." "JENNY:" "And,butnoneofthat means it doesn't hurt right now, and, so, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself." "Have you talked to her about this?" "RONDA:" "I wantto ,butI can't do it now." "I don't want her to know." "(voice breaking):" "I don't want her to know." "JENNY:" "Whatdon'tyou want her to know?" "RONDA:" "I miss,Imisswhat  we had before." "JENNY:" "Youeverhad afriend who-who got married?" "RONDA:" "No..." "Yes!" "Yes ." "JENNY:" "Who's,and-andlike, and like, the, like, the... between the engagement and the wedding..." "RONDA:" "Yes,yes." "JENNY:...theywere,like, and they were your best friend and suddenly they were, like, monsters?" "RONDA:" "Mm-hmm." "JENNY:" "Likethe" "Bridezilla thing?" "RONDA:" "Well,yes..." "JENNY:" "Thereis suchathing as Transzilla." "RONDA:( laughing):" "Isthat what it's called?" "JENNY:" "I ,well,Iwould,I would never say that because..." "RONDA:" "See,you'remakingme feel better, because it's like now I feel like I'm not crazy." "Thank you." "JENNY:" "Okay." "RONDA:" "Thankyou." "I really thank you, Jenny." "CAITLYN:" "Blossom,Iwantto say thank you for everything." "Thank you for coming." "BLOSSOM:" "Oh..." "CAITLYN:" "You'reareally a great person." "BLOSSOM:" "Thankyou." "So are you." "CAITLYN:" "GobackhomeandI  wish you nothing but the best." "Blossom just wants to make this world a better place." "And with help from friends, you can kind of conquer the world." "You can go out into the world and be accepted and be understood and be a productive citizen." "JENNY:" "Oh,my God, that-that's perfect." "That's (bleep) perfect." "BLOSSOM:" "Yeah,Iwas getting tired of holding it just a little bit." "JENNY:" "Bye,Blossom." "I'll see you soon." "BLOSSOM:" "I loveyou." "CAITLYN:" "Candis?" "CANDIS:" "Yeah?" "CAITLYN:" "I haveafashion question." "You're wearing that outfit." "CANDIS:" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "Withabra thatyou see the straps." "CANDIS:" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "NowIalwayswonder is that, oh, is that, like, permissible?" "CANDIS:" "Inacasualsetting it is." "CAITLYN:" "Inacasual setting it is?" "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CHANDI:" "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:" "A littlewine tasting." "SHARON:" "Greatto meetyou  all!" "Welcome!" "We like to start off our celebration with a saber, so if anyone is up for sabering the first bottle that we open." "CAITLYN:" "Okay,allright." "One, two..." "Whoa!" "First try." "CANDIS:" "Firsttry." "SHARON:" "Thatcameoff  beautifully." "CAITLYN:" "JustlikeIknew  what I was doing." "SHARON:" "Itwasperfect,yes." "(laughter)" "So, cheers to your celebration." "CANDIS:" "I wasalwaystoldyou were supposed to look people in the eye when you cheers them." "ZACKARY:" "Yes,ma 'am." "CAITLYN:" "Toagreatfour days  together." "WOMEN:" "Yes." "JENNY:" "Outsideof yourown  family, what woman has had the greatest influence on you?" "CAITLYN:" "That'sagreat question." "ZACKARY:" "FlawlessSabrina started running drag contests in 1959." "CAITLYN:" "You'renotold  enough to even know anybody that was in the '60s." "ZACKARY:" "Well,Iloveelder folks and I always have, so..." "CAITLYN:" "Well,that'sgood, yeah, that's good, okay." "(laughter)" "CHANDI:" "Um,CaitlynJenner." "CAITLYN:" "Ooh!" "Baby, baby, baby!" "JENNY:" "I 'lldrinkto that." "CAITLYN:" "Chandi,Iappreciate that." "CANDIS:" "MissLoudon,who ran  the drama department in-in the high school, Baldwin High, um, she... she was always there, you know?" "CHANDI:" "Mm-hmm." "CANDIS:" "I don'twanttoget emotional, that's stupid." "CAITLYN:" "No,youknow,it's  important, the people that had such a big impact on your life." "CANDIS:" "Shewas,she-she helped all the kids that couldn't fit in... have a place to fit in." "(quietly):" "So..." "CAITLYN:" "Well..." "CANDIS:" "AndIwas one of them." "CAITLYN:...thatis agreat, yeah, that's a great legacy." "Outside of family, you guys have probably had the biggest impact on me ever, you know?" "And listening to your stories and what you're doing and feeling comfortable about yourself and..." "Out of women in my life, I probably learned more in the last month about me and about life... uh, than ever before in my entire life." "Okay." "I got to say something." "(sighs)" "CAITLYN( voicebreaking):" "Months... months and months ago," "I... (sniffling quietly)" "Damn it." "I thought about doing this show." "And I thought how could I do a show that's gonna make a difference... in the world?" "And I had all these ideas." "All these things." "And I'm struggling with it." "And I'm thinking about my family and I'm thinking about all this kind of stuff and I struggled with all this stuff." "And seeing the things that you have gone through in your life and being so honest with this, and I so apprec... appreciate all your, your input." "This has been great." "You know, it just really has been great and the damn wine got to me!" "(laughter)" "I don't know if it was the pinot or whatever, but I so appreciate your honesty." "JENNY:" "Everybodyon Jenner." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,yeah,oh, no." "You don't have to do that." "JENNY:" "Yep." "CAITLYN:" "No,no ,no ." "But, um, I so appreciate your honesty and all that kind of stuff." "Um, it's just been great." "What has really impressed me is, at this point in their life, how normal these girls are." "And I just see great examples of people who have overcome tremendous obstacles in their life." "And it turned out on the other end, coming out the other side, a better person." "I know, Candis, you're gonna need some Visine." "You're turning into me." "Emotional absolute wreck." "Wow." "CHANDI:" "Andthat'sokay." "ZACKARY:" "It'sokay." "CANDIS:" "Caitlyn,shehas a story that you should hear." "CAITLYN:" "I wantto hear." "SHARON:" "Well,your transformation has helped me to understand my father in a way that I never did before." "CAITLYN:" "Really!" "SHARON:" "Heusedtodressup and go to San Francisco in the '70s." "He just came to us and told us the truth, that he couldn't live the lie anymore." "And he needed to move on and be who he was." "That one point that you made, about being on your deathbed and not living your life..." "CAITLYN:" "It'sso true." "SHARON:" "It..." "Iknew,you know, at that moment I knew, when he came to us and had to tell us the truth and how hard that was for all of us." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "SHARON:" "Butit still...was  him being free." "CAITLYN:" "Sowonderfultohear  that story." "It makes my heart feel so good." "SHARON:" "It'sbeautiful." "CAITLYN:" "Thankyou." "I appreciate that." "SHARON:" "It'sabsolutely beautiful." "Thank you." "CAITLYN:" "Thank...(sniffles)" "(bleep) damn it!" "This is so good!" "I love this stuff!" "(laughter)" "(birds chirping)" "(crickets chirping)" "CAITLYN:" "Thisis ourlast dinner together." "WOMAN:" "Cheers,everybody." "JENNY:" "Love,love." "WOMAN2 :" "Love,love,love." "JENNY:" "Lovey,love,love." "Love." "CHANDI:" "Candistalkingabout high school put me in the frame of mind of where I was starting to try to remember those teachers and those experiences that I had." "How was high school for you ladies?" "JENNY:" "Morelightdinner conversation?" "CHANDI:" "Yeah." "WOMAN:" "Oh,God." "JENNY:" "Myexperienceofhigh  school was a lot of bullying, a lot of being beaten up and teased for being, um, trans." "Which was weird, 'cause I was trying not to be feminine, but people just saw it in me." "They just, they-they could see it in me no matter how much I tried to hide it." "ZACKARY:" "Youknow,Inever had the option to hide." "I mean, I was bullied a lot." "I got, like, death threats in my locker, I was..." "CAITLYN:" "Wow." "ZACKARY:...neverwasableto go into the boys' locker room." "WOMAN:" "Forfear..." "ZACKARY:" "Forgymclass." "WOMAN:...forfearofbeing beat up." "ZACKARY:" "SoIwouldchangein sort of, like, a-a remote bathroom that nobody used, you know?" "And then I would run across the school to go to gym class, every other day." "CAITLYN:" "Wow." "Have you all had fun coming here and discussing this?" "JENNY:" "Yes!" "ZACKARY:" "Oh,my God,I'm so thirsty for it." "JEN:" "We'reactuallyall  learning, just in having these conversations." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "I mean, I haven't bawled like that, just talking about a teacher, in years." "Like, I hadn't even thought about that." "(laughter)" "CAITLYN:" "Soallwehave now is happy stories." "If I hear... if you get me crying one more time... (laughter) ...you're going to lose your dessert privileges." "(laughter)" "♪ ♪" "(knocking at door)" "JENNY:" "Cait,Ihatetobother you..." "CAITLYN:" "Jenny!" "JENNY:" "I knowyou're..." "I know it's been a long day." "CAITLYN:" "Lookat my good boots." "JENNY:" "Oh,thoseare awesome." "I..." "CAITLYN:" "Frommotocross." "JENNY:" "Oh!" "CAITLYN:" "Lookit,they'reall  dusty." "I gotta take care of my stuff." "JENNY:" "Rightnow,you 'rein this thing that we call "the pink cloud."" "(chuckles)" "Which is... which is this place of euphoria and happiness." "Which is..." "CAITLYN:" "I-Ido feelpretty good." "JENNY:" "Whichis good,right?" "CAITLYN:" "I wouldn'tquitego with a "pink cloud," but yeah," "I-I would go with..." "Yeah, I feel, I feel good." "Right." "JENNY:" "And-andthat's,that's good." "CAITLYN:" "Itis good." "JENNY:" "Butit alsomeansthat  you can be a little blind to... things other than yourself." "The conversation that I had with" "Ronda last night made me feel a little funny." "I-I'm, I'm just afraid that you're kind of in the midst of this whirlwind and you're forgetting some of the..." "CAITLYN:" "Um..." "JENNY:...someof thepeople that you love." "You've got to find a way of getting... as soon as you can, outside of yourself." "(birds singing)" "CAITLYN:" "Dideverybodyhavea good time?" "ZACKARY:" "Yes,ma 'am." "CANDIS:" "Itwassomuch fun." "I can't wait to do it again soon." "(laughter)" "CAITLYN:" "Let'sgo climbMount" "Everest!" "(laughter)" "CANDIS:" "I don'tknowabout that one." "JENNY:" "Don'tforgetthe  skydiving." "CAITLYN:" "Wecouldbethe first trans girls to the top of" "Mount Everest!" "I mean, we could do something." "We gotta break ground, here." "CANDIS:" "I 'llbeat basecamp and I'll just, like, cheer you on." "CAITLYN:" "You'llbe fine..." "ZACKARY:" "Ifyoufeelcooped up at home, I would love to come over and visit your house." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Yougot it." "Yeah, yeah." "ZACKARY:" "Watchamovie." "CAITLYN:" "Allright,baby." "CHANDI:" "Mmm..." "CAITLYN:" "Weareout ofhere ." "Good luck." "JENNY:" "Caithascomesofar." "Here's a woman who's lived largely, for 65 years, in her head." "And suddenly, she's with this whole team of-of women, having fun and learning about the community." "I cannot wait to see what she does next." "It's gonna be awesome." "CAITLYN:" "CandisandIare leaving together." "(all laughing)" "But we'll see you back in L.A." "CANDIS:" "Loveyou,girls." "ZACKARY:" "Bye." "CHANDI:" "Bye,baby." "Candis and Caitlyn in the tree," "K-I-S-S-I-N-G." "CANDIS:" "SeeingCaitlyn discovering this, like, this new world has been kind of amazing, because no matter what situation you're in, no matter how far along you are in one life, you have the power to" "change it yourself, with strength and courage." "CAITLYN:" "Backto reality." "At some point, you gotta go back." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CANDIS:" "Facethemusic." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "But it certainly was nice." "I really love these girls." "We're gonna be friends forever." "And I learned so much from them." "I have realized my voice is, like, the last thing to worry about." "It's about the words that come out, the importance of those words." "Not about the pitch." "Through this whole trip," "I learned a lot about life and that, to me, is the most important thing, 'cause I want to keep learning and take it day by day." "CANDIS:" "Sowe 'rehome." "You ready for this?" "CAITLYN:" "No." "Iknow." "Am I ready for these things?" "CANDIS:" "You'regonnabegood ." "You're gonna be good." "CAITLYN:" "Itis ...it 'sjust back to the "real world."" "CANDIS:" "Yeah,therealworld." "SINGER:♪ Ifthere'saGod..." "Surely He wants me to be" "♪ Myself" "If there's a God" "If there's a God... ♪" "CAITLYN:" "Wantapickle?" "RONDA:" "I 'llhaveaFrench fry." "CAITLYN:" "God,thatpickle's sour." "(Ronda laughs)" "Um... so what is the deal with you and Jenny talking?" "Honestly, what's going on?" "RONDA:" "I feellike... everything's changed, and it..." "CAITLYN:" "Everything'swhat?" "RONDA:" "Well,obviously, everything's changed." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "RONDA:" "Butforme, the  most..." "I-I..." "I've been working for you for two years, and..." "CAITLYN:" "Mm-hmm." "RONDA:...we'vebeenfriends for that amount of time-- well, me and Caitlyn." "CAITLYN:" "And,yeah--and  before that." "RONDA:" "Andlonger." "And.. but everything's, like..." "Now it's like this, like, rollercoaster and I feel like I don't even exist anymore, other than, like, "Uh, where's my" "Starbucks?"" "CAITLYN:" "Wehavebeen, obviously, very busy." "RONDA:" "Yeah,Iknow." "CAITLYN:" "Um..." "Sometimes, when I get like this, you know, I-I kind of go a little crazy, okay?" "And I think I miss out on the important things in life." "The important things in life are friendship." "And I've always, you know, for the last two years, so appreciated your friendship." "You were there for surgeries, you're there, you're driving me, all that kind of stuff." "And if I seem a little cold, insensitive, I apologize." "RONDA:" "Doyourealizeweused to go to the movies all the time?" "CAITLYN:" "Let'sgo to amovie right now." "RONDA:" "Really?" "CAITLYN:" "Damnit ,let'sgoto a movie." "RONDA:" "Okay,let'sgo." "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "Comeon." "Come on." "Let's go." "RONDA:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Getyour...get your little thing, so we can get the tickets on the way." "RONDA:" "Allright." "CAITLYN:" "See,youcan 't..." "RONDA:" "Okay,Iloveyou." "CAITLYN:" "Youjustloveme." "I know, I know." "RONDA:" "No,you'resupposedto love me, too." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "I do love you." "RONDA:" "No,actually,you 're supposed to say, "I love you."" "CAITLYN:" "Okay?" "Ido." "Man, this is one sour pickle." "That's all I can say." "(Ronda laughs)" "CANDIS( laughing):" "Youmade it up the stairs." "CAITLYN:" "CandisandIhave  been spending a lot of time together." "CANDIS:" "Youneedthe strap." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,my ." "CANDIS:" "Berightback." "WOMAN:" "Wearefreakstoalot of the world." "CAITLYN:" "We'rereallytrying to normalize this." "WOMAN:" "Thereasonyou wantto is 'cause you don't want to be a freak." "KIM:" "I readtheVanityFair ." "You look amazing, but you don't have to bash us." "CAITLYN:" "Don'tgo there." "We really haven't had a chance to talk after you sent me those tough texts." "COURTNEY:" "Whenyoutry to tell me that I don't know what" "I'm talking about because I..." "CAITLYN:" "Becauseyoudon 't know." "Captioning sponsored by" "BUNIM-MURRAY PRODUCTIONS"