"Mark Gungor The Tale of Two Brains 2/2" "Thank you!" "Alright!" "Men's brains - women's brains." "Women's brains think:" ""Give!" "Give!" "Give!" "Give!"" "They just love to give." "They are happiest when they are giving." "You get a bunch of women together and they are giving to each other:" ""I love your hair!" "I love your shoes!" "I love your outfit!"" "They just love it!" "Men's brains are a little different." "Man's brains think:" ""Take!" "Take!" "Take!" "Take!"" "When you get a bunch of men together and we insult each other:" "Who we do!" ""You are fat!" "You are ugly!" "You smell!"" ""Thanks man!"" "So if women love to give and men love to take..." "Which way do you suppose the give and take goes in most relationships?" "That way!" "Women think the answer is to give more." "If they give more it will inspire him to give back." "Ain't gonna happen!" "You've got to learn, girls, that if you're going to be truely happy you're going to learn how to take in your relationship." "And women are fundamentaly very uncomfortable in taking in relationships." "They just love to:" ""Give!" "Give!" "Give!" "Give!"" "But you give yourselves to death." "A lot of you just burn yourselves out." "It's not unusual to have a woman and her husband coming to my office." "They've been married for 25 years." "She says:" ""I've given, given to that man..."" ""I have nothing left to give!" You have ever hear a woman say that?" ""I have nothing left to give!" Because they've given so much." "And you look at her husband and he goes:" ""I thought we had a good marriage."" "'Cause it's been great for him!" "She is giving, he is taking..." "This rocks!" "Girls, I'm gonna show you how you can take advantage and change that flow in your relationships." "I'm gonna show you how you can get a man to do what you want him to do." "When I first said that all the girls go: "Yes!"" "And all boys go:" ""You sold me out, man!"" "But be cool 'cause the guys like this part." "It's the women who hate it." "I get more static from women over what I am about to tell you." "Because fundamentaly they hate taking in relationships." "They think:" ""He should just give on his own!"" ""You should just give!" They are hoping:" "When I say: "Get a guy to give" I say:" ""Bad guy!" "Bad!" "Bad!" "..." "You need to give more!"" "That's what a lot of these people do on some of these seminars." "You beat upon guys:" ""You need to give more!"" "No!" "The real key..." "I think we've established this doesn't work, OK?" "!" "The real key is to change the woman's perspective and empower you, 'cause you in fact have the power to change this." "But a lot of women have been so affected by over-romanticized concepts in marriage that they don't understand this." "They really think that:" ""If he really loved me this would all just happen automatically."" ""If he really cared about me..."" "A lot of women really struggle with this concept because they tend to live in this false romantic fantasyland:" ""Somewhere over the rainbow..."" ""...way up high..."" ""...all the other girls have such wonderful husbands..."" ""Why!" "Oh, why can't I ?" "!"" "Girls, you can sit around with your hearts broken all the time or you can do something about it." "I'm gonna show you what you can do:" "4 simple steps how you can change this dynamic of give and take in your relationships." "OK, are you ready?" "Here we go!" "No.1:" ""How to get a man to do what you want him to do"" "No.1: "You need to ask him more than once."" "Asking a man to something once is like never having ask him to do it at all." "Why is that?" "Men are always in such a take mode." "We constantly:" ""Take!" "Take!" "Take!" "Take!" We compete taking, we are business taking:" ""Take!" "Take!" "Take!" "Take!" We are just in that take mode." "And all of sudden his wife will say to him:" ""Honey, will you do such and such for me?"" "In his left brain says to his right brain:" ""Have you heard something?"" "His right brain goes: "Nope!" "Take!" "Take!" "Take!" "Take!"" "It takes more than once to get through to the boy." "A lot of women they think that, you know, their husband, they are holding out on them." "That we sit there intentionally not doing what they asks us to do." "Just because we are full of hate." "But I promise you, when you asked it, it went in one ear spinned around his nothing box and shut out the other one." "He just don't remember a jack about what you said!" "When I was first studying this, I thought, you know, this can't possibly be true." "This is gonna be inaccurate." "Because I am married to a woman who has no problem asking me more than once." ""Honey, will you do such and such for me?"" "I go: "No!"" ""Come on, sweetheart, do this for me!"" ""No!"" ""Come on!" She's got the thing she pets my cheeks:" ""You're such a good husband!"" ""Do this thing for me!"" ""OK!" And then I do it." "When I was first reading this they were saying:" ""Women only like to ask one time." I thought: "That can't possibly be true!"" "I remeber I was in a church in Greenbay, Wisconsin, at the time." "As one of several pastors in a large church there." "Before service started, I thought:" ""I'm gonna ask some ladies, because this can't possibly be right."" "I quickly come to a lady:" ""Let me ask you a question:" She said "Yeah" I said:" ""Do you have a hard time getting your husband to do stuff for you?"" "She goes:" ""Pastor, you have no idea!"" "She says:" ""I asked that man to paint the ceiling." "That was back in October."" ""It's March!" "He didn't do it."" ""He walks in every day..."" "I mean she is just getting mad telling me about it." "I said: "OK, I get it." But let me ask you a question:" "'Cause remember I wanna prove what I just been reading wrong." "I said: "Let me ask you a question:" "How many times have you asked him to do it?"" "And she starred at me like a dog at a new dish." "She said: "Once!"" "I was stunned." "I says:" ""Why wouldn't you ask him more than once?"" "She says: "I shouldn't have to!"" "I said:" ""You might wanna try that."" "I got away from her..." "I went to another one woman, I said: "Come here..."" "She says: "What?" "Let me ask you a question:"" ""Do you have a hard time getting your husband to do stuff for you?"" ""Pastor, you have no idea!"" "She said: "I will ask my husband:" "'Honey, put away the laundry!" "' and I stick it right in the middle of the living room."" ""And he didn't do it." "He just walks over the top of it." "He just walks around it..."" ""It would sit down for a month!"" "She asked me with all seriousness, she said:" ""Pastor, can't men see laundry?"" "I said: "Yeah, we can see it, but just don't mean a lot to us."" "So, she just get angry just telling me about it." "So I said:" ""OK, yeah, I get it." "But let me ask you a question:"" ""How many times have you asked him to do it?" And the same startled look:" ""Once!"" "I was amazed, I said: "Once, why wouldn't you ask more than once?"" ""I shouldn't have to!"" "Time was running out." "Church was going to start." "I grabbed a little lady." "I said:" ""Come here, come here..."" "She said: "What?" "Do you have a hard time getting your husband to do stuff for you?"" "She says: "Pastor, you have no..."" "Apparently I am a complete idiot, 'cause I have no ideas." ""Yeah, you have no idea!" And she goes on to start living out the horrible transgressions of her idiot husband." "And I asked the same question:" ""OK, but how many times did you ask him to do it?"" ""Once!"" "I said:" ""Why?" "Why wouldn't you ask more than once?"" "She says: "I shouldn't have to!"" "Ladies, are you listening to me?" "You have to!" "To just get mad and madder and having a cow over nothing?" "He doesn't even remember what you've said!" "...but then I learned something." "The reason women find this so offensive is 'cause, really, they don't wanna ask the first time!" "It's true, you little sinners!" "Because, over the rainbow..." ""If he really loved me I wouldn't have to ask."" "Come on!" "Just ask him again!" "What the big crime here?" "You know what it is?" "You resent the fact he is resistent to do it, because not only do you want him to do it, you want him to want to do it!" "You do!" "Well, I got news for you:" "We don't wanna do it!" "We never gonna wanna do it!" "If we wanted to do it, we would've done it already!" "What do you care about "the internal motivations of his heart"?" "Stop!" "So we doesn't!" "I finally do my wife wants me to do..." "I don't want to do it..." "She just..." "Because she is getting something out of me!" "What's with this..." "always analyzing the internal motivations of the guy's heart?" "I mean, it get us to all kinds of trouble." "I was in Germany, some months ago doing some seminars for the troops rotating out of Iraq with the army." "This one lady tells me, she says:" ""You know what?"" ""My husband, if there are dirty dishes in the sink, he cleans them and puts them away."" ""Yes, and?"" "She said:" ""Well, I asked him: 'Why do you do that?" "'"" ""And he said:" "'Because I hate dirty dishes!" "'"" "And started cryin'!" "I said: "Lady, most women think they died and went to heaven if their husbands..."" ""Yeah, but I want him to say:" "'I do it because I love you!" "'"" "Who cares why he does it?" "!" "Seriously, you've got to let up on this stuff!" "Leave him alone!" "Who cares what his motivations are!" "What his desires...!" "I tell you what most men desires are:" "Is to do nothing!" "OK, have we established that?" "!" "So get him doing stuff for you!" "Who cares "why he wants to do it in his heart"!" "No. 2: "You need to ask him the right way."" "What does that mean?" "Do not insult the boy." "A lot of women think they can use insult as a way to motivate a man." "What are they smoking?" "It's not gonna work." ""What the matter with you?" "Are you some kind of idiot?"" ""I thought you are a man..." "Can't you do...?"" ""What the matter with you?" "Can't you pick up the laundry?" "!"" ""No, I can't!"" "You know why women do that?" "'Cause it would work on them." "If you insulted a woman, if you embarased a woman - she would change." "She would do something about it." "When you embarase a guy?" "When you insult the guy?" "We don't care!" "He has become more resistent." "He's not a woman." "OK?" "Don't insult the boy!" "Insult is not a motivator for a man." "Alright?" "No.3: "You need to train him with positive reinforcement."" "What does that mean?" "Training a man is kind a like training a chimpanzee." "If the chimp does what you want - you give him a reward." "If the chimp doesn't do what you want - you just don't give him the reward." "You don't beat the snot out of the monkey." "(Stupid, stupid, stupid...)" "'Cause you've got freaked-out ape." "Everytime you come around he will just..." "He will run away from you." "So, how does a woman reward a man?" "Very simply:" "By appreciating the pathetic things he does." "'Cause men love to be appreciated." "And the problem here is that women only like to appreciate unexpected kindness." "If it's unexpected they light up." "But if it is expected, it's like..." "Seriously, in the beginning of your relationship, that's how he got you to fall in love with you in the first place." "Everything he did was:" "Seriously, man, that's how you got her to fall in love with you." "She knows you are ugly." "How do you think you got such a beautiful woman like that?" "Because you were nice to her." "Everything was:" "But after 32 years it's hard to come up with unexpected, man." "I'm telling you!" "But the more you appreciate the kindness he does the more he wants to do it." "Men respond." "Men, I'm telling you, they love to be appreciated." "I'm giving you an example:" "I was at home and I had a dirty dish in my hand." "I was by myself." "But I actually got trained to the point I could put it away into a dishwasher." "And..." "I went up to the dishwasher and I opened it up, but it was full of clean dishes." "That's a moral dilemma to a man." "Finally dawns on my little brain:" "Empty the dishwasher!" "So, I emptied the dishwasher." "I put everything away." "And of course I sticked aroud because I want to see what happens." "Why?" "Because I love to appreciated!" "My wife comes home." "She's:" "She goes over to the dishwasher and goes:" ""Ha!" "You emptied the dishes!"" "And she goes:" ""You're such a good husband."" "And I eat it up." "Guys, get a clue here!" "I know it's hard, but she loves unexpected kindness." "You need to learn to give her unexpected things." "Unexpected little things." "That's how you can keep a woman crazy in love with you." "In that way." "I told my guys I wanna write a book:" ""365 unexpected things a man can do for a woman."" "I thought about it and..." ""52 unexpected things a man can do for a woman."" "You don't do that everyday!" "What was I thinking?" "Because they light up." "When I was first doing this I couldn't afford to take my wife with me." "So I was doing more travelling by myself." "I was at the gas station paying for the gas and I saw one of these rag of greeting cards." "This one caught my eye:" ""My favourite place to be..."" ""...is wherever you are."" "I thought:" ""I should get that." "How much is that?"" "Do you hear these women?" "In a minute..." ""Oh, you ruined it!" "You just ruined it!"" ""What was the motive of your heart?" "!"" "I just wanted to see how much it was." "That's all." "What's wrong with you?" "!" "Anyway, $1.50." "OK, $1.50" " I can do that." "So I paid $1,50." "I signed it." "I took it home." "I put it in the kitchen." "I sticked around to see what happens." "And... she eventually comes in..." "All of sudden she goes: "Ha, a card!"" "And she opens it up and it says:" ""My favourite place to be..." "...is wherever you are."" "I gotta tell you boys, it was the best $1,50 ever spent in my life!" "But we will talk more about that..." "...tomorrow." "No. 4: "Barter with him."" "Now, how does that work?" "Very simply:" "You become aware of something he wants to do." "You know you've got something you want him to do for you." "And you just say to him:" ""Honey, would you like to do this thing you would like to do?"" ""Yeah..."" ""Well, do this for me and you can do that."" ""What's the catch?"" ""There's no catch." So now he's doing it." "He is trained that way." "Guys like this thing." "Because we know what rules are." "And men are used to bartering." "That's why we do what we do." "That's why we go out and work." "I got to promise you, if they didn't pay us we probably wouldn't do it." "You know, I don't care how much you like your job, but if they didn't give you the cash I don't think you do the job!" "It's all part of the bartering system." "Men like that." "OK?" "Now, the strongest bartering tool a woman has we'll talk about..." "...tomorrow." ""That's terrible!"" "And one lady said to me:" ""Doesn't that make me a prostitute?"" ""He is your husband, for crying out loud!"" "Women have no idea about the power they have over us." "Just, they have no idea!" "I'm telling you:" "You can get a guy to do almost anything!" "You just come up to that boy and find something disgusting like cleaning the garage, and say:" ""Hey, baby..."" ""How would you like to..."" ""Why?" "Yes, I would."" ""I tell you what: you go clean the garage and then come and find me."" "Man, you got yourself a motivated boy!" "I was listening to Dr. John Gray talk along these lines." "He's the guy that wrote that book:" ""Men are from Mars, women are from Venus"." "Really briliant guy." "He was telling the story how his wife came up to him and said:" ""John, take me to the opera!"" "He said: "I don't want to go to the opera." "Hate stupid opera!"" ""Dress up like a pinguin and go out there..."" "And right there:" "I lot of you girls would just wept..." ""I think I'll eat worms and die!"" "She didn't!" "She knew about this stuff!" "She just aksed him again later: "Hey, John!"" ""Yeah" "Take me to the opera!"" ""No!"" ""John!" "Yeah?"" ""Take me to the opera!"" ""OK..."" "So, now she's a happy girl!" "He's got dressed like a pinguin, taking her to the opera." "And right there a lot of you girls would go:" ""Wish my stupid husband would take me to the opera..."" ""You got such a..."" "Seriously, a lot of you girls..." "You envy other women's husbands, because they're always doing things." "But you don't understand." "Women who get their husbands doing this stuff, know exactly what I'm talking about." "They do this all the time." "You sit down with your heart broken, 'cause you won't do these things." "You think:" ""He should just cosmically do them on his own."" ""Somewhere over the rainbow..."" "So he takes her to the opera and do this mind-numbing experience." "On the way home she's holding his hand just lit up." "And he says:" ""When we got home and I pulled into the garage..." "...as soon as the garage door closed..."" ""...she reached over and grabbed me and made love to me right in the garage."" "I assume they weren't driving a some compact." "You figure it out..." "Anyway..." "So, the next morning he gets up early and..." ""Yeah, yeah..." "I just wanna know:" "How much are season tickets to the opera?"" "Men's brains - women's brains." "Women's brains they don't think very highly of themselves." ""I'm too fat..."" ""I'm too tall..."" ""I'm too oily..."" "Men's brains - we think very highly of ourselves." "We love us." "Just ask, we'll tell you." "All you got to do is point a camera to bunch of women and watch them freak." ""Turn it off!"" ""Sanctuary!"" ""I'm a hideous monster!"" "Point a camera to bunch of guys." "What do you get?" "Ever watched a woman walked by a bunch of mirrors in the mall?" "Ever watched a guy?" ""Still got it!"" "A lot of women - they can be such a drag, because their husbands are trying to be nice to them, compliment them..." ""You don't see that!" "?" "I'm ugly!"" "Why do you do that?" "Here is a secret:" "You want him to like you!" "Why you're pushin' him away?" "That's such a drag!" "Ladies!" "Do you know that there are 3 billion women in the world who don't look like supermodels?" "And only 8 who do?" "Are you seein' a pattern there?" "Do you know Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14?" "(EU size 44)" "Now, too many guys go on:" ""I don't know." "She's a little chubby, I think, for me."" "Did you know if Barbie were a real woman she'd have to walk on all fours?" "Explain it to her later, OK?" ""I don't understand..." OK." "Do you know that models in magazines, they are air-brushed?" "Do you know what that means?" "That means: even those women don't look like those women." "You are constantly staring at them..." "...these pictures..." "Comparing yourselves to these perfect women." "Men, I'd get depressed, too." "Me and my wife bought one of those women's magazines." "They are like this thick." "It's like encyclopedia." "98% of it are just ads." "Pictures of other women." "Beautiful, gorgeous, air-brushed women." "Good night!" "Do you know one out of every four college-aged white girls has an eating disorder?" "Can I be politically incorrect here?" "You know who has really problem in this area?" "You white women." "It's a documented fact." "Women of color generally don't have this problem." "Have you ever seen Hispanic women:" "They walk like they own the world." "Black women, they carry themselves:" ""What are you looking at?"" "Typical white woman:" "I mean, come on!" "I was watching this movie with Steve Martin and Queen Latifah." "You've seen this movie?" "She's like a hot babe in this movie." "She's a healthy girl, Jack!" "She's all over the place!" "But you know what?" "She came across as very sexy in that movie." "You know what, girls?" "Men are not looking for perfect women." "You now what's attractive to a man?" "A confident woman." "When women carry themselves in a confident way like that, it's very attractive to a man." "You just be who you are!" "Just carry yourself with confidence." "So you are not perfect, so what?" "!" "Nobody is perfect!" "Even the perfect women are not perfect!" "Now, tomorrow, I'm gonna be sharing with you, when we do our little talk about sex." "I'll do a reading from one of the most amazing books." "It's one of the most ancient books about sex." "And it's in the Bible." "It's called "The Song of Songs" or "Song of Solomon"" "And it's a very sexual book." "A lot of people miss it, because they're very poetic." "They talk about pomegranates in bloom, secret gardens." "People wonder:" ""Are you sure?" "We are in the gardening..." "What's the deal here?"" "No, no... not gardening, OK?" "It's about sex." "We'll look at that tomorrow, but tonight I wanna just take a quick look at half-way through this book he describes this woman that he's absolutely crazy about." "I just want you to see his description of her." "He says this:" ""How beautiful your sandaled feet, O, prince's daughter!"" "Apparently she had great feet!" ""Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman's hands."" "So she had grat feet, great legs." ""Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine."" "So she's got great feet, great legs, but she's got a outie." ""Your waist is a mound of wheat..."" "So she's got great feet, great legs, outie and a pop belly thing hapenning." ""Your two little itty-bitty breasts are like two itty-bitty fawns."" "So she's got great feet, great legs, outie, pop belly and little boobs." ""Your neck is like an ivory tower..."" "So she's got great feet, great legs, outie, pop belly, little boobs and a big neck." ""Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus."" "Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon!" "I think they can see it from Lebanon." "So she's got great feet, great legs, outie, pop belly, little boobs, big neck and a huge schnoz." "What does he say about her?" ""How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with you delights!"" "He was crazy about this woman!" "Men's brains - women's brains." "Give!" "Give!" "Give!" " Take!" "Take!" "Take!" "By the way, in this area of give and take." "A lot of women have really been..." "Now I'm speaking of Christian organizations, Christian women's clubs," "Christian women's retreats and stuff." "I call them estrogen fests." "And they are wonderful." "They're great !" "If you're a woman, I guess." "But..." "I know what they are trying to say, but a lot of you've really gotten bad information or at least faulty information." "This is what's been said at lot of these." "What they are saying is:" ""Unconditional love demands an unconditional relationship."" ""Unconditional love demands an unconditional relationship."" "You should do anything for this man." "You should just put out for this man." "If he wants sex, no matter what, just give it to him." "It all sounds spiritual and it all sounds wonderful, but the only problem is:" "It is patently false!" ""Unconditional love demands a conditional relationship!"" "The Bible is nothing if it is not a one big gigantic list of conditions." "Are you hearing me?" ""Oh, doesn't God just love everybody?"" ""For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that..." (John 3;16)" "What? "...that whosoever believeth...!" Conditional!" "So you have to do something?" "Yes." "You want God to get close to you?" "You know what the Bible says?" "What you have to do?" "You have..." "Conditions!" "The whole thing is conditional." "Unconditional relationship will destroy your marriage." "It will destroy any relationship." "An unconditional relationship with a child will create a hellion." "An unconditional relationship with a teenager - he will destroy himself and take everybody he can with him." "It is not healthy, it is not good, it is not holy." "It sounds right, but it is not right." "You girls need to get comfortable with this idea - taking - in your relationships." "Putting some conditions." "The stronger the relationship the stronger the conditions can be." "You need to be careful!" "I'm putting a lot of weight on girls tonight, I'll beat upon the guys tomorrow, but you know:" "The stronger the relationship the stronger the conditions." "You've got to be careful!" "It's kind of like if I play "hide and seek" with my grandsons." "You hide behind something, you know, they can still see you." ""Come and find me!"" "And they..." "You don't play "hide and seek" with two year old and run into the basement and hide into boxes!" "'Cause he won't get it!" "So you've got to watch the conditions!" "In a healthy relationship you can have higher and stronger conditions." "But you're not gonna get there if you're just never require something of the guy!" "And some guys - they don't like any conditions." "Guys, this is healthy." "It's not right for her constantly be giving to you and never get anything back." "And girls you can change them." "You got to get comfortable." "This is healthy for your relationships, to take back." "Most guys don't mind you're taking back." "But we get frustrated as you're expecting us to be like you." "That we just gonna do it "cosmically" like you and gonna somehow interpret your internal feelings..." "We don't do that well." "OK?" "This is a healthy thing for you." "I had a lady on a conference just a few weeks ago." "She is crying her eyes out." "I said: "What's the matter?" She says:" ""My husband, he'll never talk to me."" "I says: "Never?" "Never."" ""If he would just talk to me, just for a little bit." "I'd feel so much better."" "And she just cried." "I said:" ""How is your love life?" "Oh, it's OK."" "I said: "Let me see if I get this." "A man who never talks to you..."" ""...when he wants sex you just give it to him?"" ""Yeah!"" "I said: "Why do you do that?" "!"" ""Because I'm supposed to." "That's what we were told..."" "I said:" ""Sweetheart, you've gotten bad information."" ""Doesn't the Bible say we shouldn't deny each other?"" "Of course!" "But acceptance doesn't mean you can't have conditions." "Here is the example:" "You're trying to get a mortgage for your home." "And the bank calls you up and says:" ""Hey, you have been accepted!"" ""We have approved your loan!" "You just need to come sign some papers."" "And they hang up." "Have you been rejected or accepted?" "You just been accepted!" "You're excited!" "Cool!" "Cool!" "But, you have to go what?" "Sign some papers!" "You go: "Stupid bank!" "They really give me that money, but I got to sign some papers!"" "I mean:" "Come on!" "I said:" ""The next time your husband wants to make love to you, you say:"" ""'Honey, I will knock your socks off, but we're gonna talk for five minutes first!" "'"" "That's fine!" "That's healthy!" ""You can do that?" "Yeah, you can do that!"" "The most guys don't mind." "Again, get us in that position." "Start taking back from us!" "Again, you got to be carefull." "If your relationship is really weak, you can't be demanding really heavy things." "The stronger the relation the tougher you can be." "Here's an example:" "My wife." "We have a very good relationship." "Also for long she's been teling me to kill the spiders in the house, in the garage, outside of house." "We live near the water and spiders love water, so we have spiders everywhere." "I went and bought the poison and stuff to kill'em, but I didn't feel like doin' it." "So she was on me for weeks about killing the spiders." ""Yeah, yeah, I'll do that..."" "So finally she walks in one morning and she, just as happy as can be and everything is good, she says:" ""Oh, by the way:" "No more sex until you kill the spiders."" "And she walked away!" "On a first day:" "I didn't kill any stupid spiders." "Second day:" "I didn't kill any stupid spiders." "Third day:" "I'm killing every spider within miles of our place!" "Killing spiders..." ""Die, you stupid spiders!"" "I sprayed our house, I sprayed the neighbours' houses, I sprayed every...!" "Did I want to do it?" "No!" "Did she care?" "Nope." "She is getting the stuff out of the boy." "Men's brains - women's brains." "Enclosing." "I want to talk to you how men's brains and women's brains are portrayed in movies." "You have "guy flicks" and you have "chick flicks"." ""Guy flick" is only a "guy flick" as long as somebody is dying." "And the more horribly they die the more we love it." "Some man's got his head chopped-off and we go: "Oh, yes!"" ""Dude, rewind that!"" ""Oh!" "That's gotta hurt!"" ""Play it again!" "Play it again!"" "We love it!" "And you know what?" "This appeals to all men of every culture around the world." "There was something God put in heart of every man that just lights up at the idea of living out your adventures and conquering your adversaries and going for your dreams." "You see it in the even in the smallest of boys." "You girls that have little boys." "You know what I'm talking about." "They are always doing something dangerous." ""Stop that!" "Stop that!" "You're gonna poke your eye out!"" ""That's the point, mom!"" ""If you can't lose your eye, what the point in playing?" "!"" "It wasn't a woman who invented football." "We like that." "There's something just blesses heart of a man when he watches one man kick another man's but." "Light upon the inside!" "We love it!" "You can't possibly read the Bible and not see that God is a first class, No.1, grade A butt-kicker." "Not a chance!" "Even at the end of the Bible:" "Someday Jesus is gonna come back and he's gonna be riding on a white horse and his robes are gonna be dipped in the sweatest perfume that he got from Bath  Body Works." "Is that what it says?" "No, no..." "Robes are gonna be dipped in what?" "Blood!" "(Rev. 19:13) And all the men go:" ""Oh, yeah!"" ""Dude!" "Blood!"" ""That means somebody's gonna get their butts kicked!"" "We love it!" "Women's movies - "chick flicks" are little different." ""Chick flicks" are about connecting the wires." ""Chick flick" can be two and half hours of four women sitting around a kitchen table talking." "And she'll be watching and goin'..." "And her husband's watching it with her goin'..." ""I wanna kill myself!" "Stupid movie!"" "But she just loves it." "And these movies they appeal to all women of every culture in the world." "Why?" "There is something God put in the heart of every woman that says:" ""Connect the wires!" "Connect the wires!" "..."" "It's all about relationships!" "One of the reasons why married men make more money than single men is that married men become more skilled in their relationships and become more successful in life." "They become more valuable to their employers." "Because when a man marries a woman, he is marrying a handbook on relationships." "It's true!" "It's absolutely true!" "Single men remain as they came into the world - clueless." "Married men get feedback and they start learning." "But you've got to listen to her." "We don't like listening to you." "I got to be honest with you." "I'll come up with some plan and my wife will say: "Better not do that!"" ""Oh, woman, what are you talking about?" "I'm telling you, it's a bad idea!"" ""Yeah, you guys!" "We better not do that!"" ""I just feel it in my spirit..."" "As different as the "chick flicks" and the "guy flicks" are from each other there is one theme that both share." "That is the same." "And that is this:" "The hero always goes back for the girl." "You see it in the "guy flicks", men are just fighting their battles, they are at the edge of victory, suddenly the hero starts to pull back." "And his men say:" ""Where're you going?" "!"" "He says: "Go on without me, boys." "I've got something I gotta do!"" "And at great risk to himself he goes back for the girl." "And he rescues the girl." "And guys watch that on the screen and we go: "Yeah!"" "Women have the same theme:" "The boy always comes back for her." "I was wathing this "chick flick"" " Jerry Maguire You've seen this one?" "In this movie they've broken up, and finally he wins the big contract, and he realizes it doesn't mean anything, 'cause he doesn't have her." "And he quick hops on the plane and he flies home." "He walks into the house and she's there with a bunch of her girlfriends." "And he walks in unexpectedly." "And they all look up..." "And he goes: "Hello!"" "And she says: "What are you doing here?"" "And he starts to explain to her that he finally suceeded and got everything he dreamed of, but it meant nothing without her." "And he said to her:" ""You complete me."" "And she goes:" ""You had me on 'Hello!" "'"" "And all the girls see that." "They all go:" ""Yes, yes, yes, yes!"" "All I'm saying to you boys is this:" "Do what's in your heart." "Live you dreams." "Live your adventures." "Overcome you obstacles." "Do what you gotta do, just don't forget about the girl!" "I never met a man who was a financial success and who had lost his family, who ever said to me:" ""You know, it was worth it!"" "It's never worth it." "Don't be like Adam." "Remember Adam at the Garden of Eden?" "Women say:" ""Where would we be without women?"" "I say:" ""Garden of Eden." But..." "That's just a joke!" "I know it's not, but really Adam's job was to guard the Garden, to take care of the Garden." "He fell down on the job." "When that serpent came around, he should've kicked that thing out of his butt." "I don't know if serpents had butts, but they don't now." "When God takes hear, man, I'm telling you, you'll lose your butt altogether!" "But you know what happened?" "He didn't do anything." "How do we know it?" "Because we read the story:" "Eve listened to the story and then took of the forbidden fruit and then turned and handed it to whom?" "Adam?" "She didn't have to do anything or to the jungle going:" ""Adam!" "Where you are, boy?" "I know you're here!"" "He was right there the whole time." "He said nothing." "He did nothing." "Do you know why?" "Because he was coward." "He was a coward and the father of cowards." "Of men, who claimed to be men, they're no more men than the "Man on the Moon"!" "(biography of comic)" "They are spineless jellyfish, impersonators." "Who are afraid to engage their wives." "Afraid to engage their children." "You, Sir, are no men!" "Don't be like that Adam!" "You need to be like the second Adam!" "You see the Bible refers to Jesus Christ as to the second Adam." "The first Adam messed everything up, the second Adam set everything straight." "And at great cost to himself he came back for the girl." "He came back for you and for me." "That is the man!" "You need to be like that!" "Live your adventures" " Yes!" "Go for your dreams" " Yes!" "Overcome your obstacles!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Just don't forget about the girl!" "Don't get so caught up to your puking' little life you forget about her!" "You start working too late?" "At some point you just stand up and start heading for the door!" "All the guys will say:" ""Hey, where you're goin'?"" "Just say:" ""Go on without me, boys." "I've got something I gotta do!"" "And than go back for the girl, surrounded in the camp of the enemy by wild monters!" ""You mean like in the movies?" No, I mean your children!" "All I'm saying to you is:" "Do what's in your heart." "It's in the heart of every man here and it's in the heart of every woman here." "Don't forget about her." "Don't neglect her." "Do what you need to do, but make sure that you go back for the girl!" "Are you glad you came tonight?"