"THE HAREM" "Come on, wake up." "Wake up, darling" "What's wrong with these animals?" "Gianni, I need to talk to you" " What's the matter?" " I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind" "I don't want to marry you anymore" " Then I'll marry you" " I'm serious" " I don't want to marry you" " Fine." "Now come here" " Let's make love" " Yes." "But I don't want to get married" "Everything has been booked - church, honeymoon, reception at the Hilton" "Are you saying I should marry you because the Hilton has been booked?" "What you do with your life is your decision but I want to know why you waited until now 7:14 am on our wedding day to tell me you don't want to get married" "Cuffs, please." "Why shouldn't we get married?" "Because I'm scared" "I'd like to, because I really don't want to upset you" "But my fear is stronger" "Sorry, but I can't do it" "This is madness!" "I can already picture the headline "High-profile businessman dumped by fiancée on his wedding day"" "Are you afraid you won't be able to be faithful to me?" "No, on the contrary" "I'd be too faithful" "I'd only think about you." "I'd worry about you" "I'd take care of you, to the point of losing my identity and becoming nothing other than your possession" "Eventually we'd grow tired of each other" " And who could blame us?" " We've already covered this subject" "You'll carry on working" "We'll decide together when to have kids" "Until then we'll carry on as we're doing now, using the pill" "No..." "Why don't we carry on as we are now?" "No ceremony, honeymoon or reception at the Hilton" "Just imagine - today we could spend the whole day together" "Come on, we have so much free time" "No, listen" "Marry me" "Then if in four months or a year you don't feel happy we will separate." "If you want, I can put it in writing" "Come on, let's get married Margherita" "I'm sorry, darling." "But I can't" "OK." "Let's end this, then" "Are you absolutely positive?" "In that case, it's not you who is dumping me" "It's me who is breaking up with you" "You'll realise that it's going to be much worse for you than for me" "Hello, is the professor there?" "Wake him up, it's urgent" "It's Invernizza speaking." "Hello?" "I can't go into detail right now but I have changed my mind" "I'm not getting married." "I don't want to get trapped in" "No, I haven't told her yet" "Anyway, the official excuse is that I'm ill" "I don't know!" "You think of something!" "Appendicitis, peritonitis..." "Send an ambulance to my house in an hour" "Just make sure you send an ambulance" "It has to be very loud so that everybody can hear that they're taking me away" "OK." "See you at the clinic." "Bye" "And remember, my dear that a woman can only find fulfilment in marriage, family and kids" "Have you been drinking?" "Come in" "So, no wedding?" "No..." "But I do love him" "It's just that I'm confused" "And scared" "I don't care" "I'm almost happy." "I don't like that Gianni" "Would you like some tomato juice?" "I'm sorry, but you should have made up your mind sooner not on your wedding day." "Salt or pepper?" "Why do you eat these nice, colourful puddings every morning?" "Because they're low in calories" "Plus, I love colours" "I don't want to be anybody's property" "Three kilometres in the snow, idiot" " The lady has managed to get here" " She must be better than me, then" " Hello, dear!" "How are you?" " Hi, Gaetano" "You don't like this house, right?" "Yes, it's a bit weird." "Lucky your mother didn't come or God knows what she'd have told me!" "No, it's not that I don't like it." "On the contrary, I find it very original" "You know I'm not here to see the house" "Any news from your fiancé?" "How are you doing?" "Why do you care so much about him?" "It's you I care about, not him." "You shouldn't feel guilty" "You've done the right thing." "Women have to defend their freedom" "And modern men must understand that women, in spite of appearance are still the most fragile and defenceless beings" "We have to help them to break out of their chains to be independent, to follow their instinct and true aspirations" "I'm sorry." "I'm pedantic, but the subject fascinates me" "Carry on." "It's not easy to find a man who speaks like you" "Mind you, I don't speak like this to other women" "Let's go and eat something." "We'll warm up" "As you wish" " What time did you get here?" " At 7:00" "Poor you" "It's snowing, you know?" "Darling, it's snowing" "My hair is driving me mad!" " Which one is Gianni?" " The bald one" " And the other one?" " That's Mike" "A bit bonkers, but quite a nice guy" "One day he left for Kenya." "God knows where he is now" "In other words, your little emotional graveyard" "Can we consider them dead?" "No..." "They're both alive" "How soft!" "I'd love to have my little place too" "You never know" "Come here, Gaetano" "Let's have a romantic dinner" "Here." "Let's turn the chair towards the window" "Come and sit down" "I'm in love, Margherita" "Madly in love" "You realised that, didn't you?" "Yes, I did" " And you?" " Me?" "I don't know" "It's too early to think about that again" "You're nice kind you've helped me through rough times" "I'm nice, I'm kind and I'm very comforting" "Is that all, Margherita?" "No, I also like you... very much" "No violence" "You said you would help me break centuries-old chains and barriers" "You're contradicting yourself, my dear lawyer" "You're right, I'm sorry" "I don't know what happened to me" "But I kept telling myself, "Calm down "you don't have any right to violate her personality, she needs sweetness"" "Now you're exaggerating" "Don't be silly, Gaetano." "You're great" "I want to go away" "I love it when you pull this childlike face" "Look" "I am childish" "You are childish" "We're all childish" "Who's throwing darts?" "Mike!" "How crazy!" "I'm so happy to see you again!" "You're such a fool." "You could have killed me!" "It's a present for you" "The cheetah's name is Jack" " But he doesn't know" " Take him away or I won't come out" "How crazy to bring a wild animal here!" "It's just a baby cub and I've taken out all his teeth" "Are you absolutely sure he's harmless?" "Come on, open up, Margherita" "OK, I'll open the door" "Mike, how wonderful!" " What happened to your eye?" " I've lost it" "How silly!" " Let's have a look!" " No, what are you doing?" " Why are you undressing me?" " I want to see your whole body" "No, let me cover up, I'm cold." "What do you want?" "Here." "Stand still" " But why?" " I want to take a picture of you" "Are you a photographer now?" "200 different Margheritas" "The Lady from Shanghai" " And now..." "let's go to bed!" " No!" "Three days of travelling, five planes and a taxi to get here" "No!" "Not with that beast in here." "No!" "Unless you attack him, he's harmless" "I'm scared anyway" "Be good, Jack" "I'm sleepy." "I want to have a really good sleep" "No, you can't stay here" " Why not?" " I'll take you to a hotel" "A hotel?" "What nonsense." "Hotels drive me mad" " I want to stay here" " No" "Either you go to a hotel or to René's house" "And take your cat with you, because I don't want him" "You don't want me anymore?" "I understand now." "You married Gianni, that fat guy" "I'm not prejudiced." "You didn't get married?" "So, we can still make love" "Yes, but not now." "Get up" "I'm staying here, Margherita" " Jack, we're staying here" " No." "You are going!" " What are you doing?" " Do you like them?" "They suit you" "Beautiful" "Don't be silly" " Go and get the car" " Yes, boss!" "Nice guy, this Mike." "He goes hunting in Kenya dances, plays the drums and knows a lot of back girls" " Ugo Tognazzi!" " Yes" "Pleased to meet you" "Thanks" "He's the sexiest Italian actor" "I don't find him that sexy" "You see?" "The blackmail has already started" " What blackmail?" " The emotional blackmail" "You had a long face all night." "And all because of Mike" "Where's your understanding?" "Your generosity?" "Now you accuse me of being jealous." "I know I don't have rights on you, but..." "May I?" " Margherita!" " It suits you" " It suits her more than you" " Let's go." "The car's here" "Sir, the car's waiting at the door" " Thanks, Mike" " You're welcome" "Listen, why don't we take Mike home first?" "I'd love to be alone with you" "No, Gaetano." "I'm tired" "I'd like to go to bed." "Plus, Mike lives with René" "Let's go" " Why does he have to live there?" " How nice!" "So let's see if I can help you make things clear once and for all" "You always say you're cold, but then you don't put enough clothes on" "You're such a darling" "How can this be possible?" "A woman like you - intelligent, independent with great clearness of mind  doesn't know what she wants when it comes to feelings" "I don't know." "Do you?" "At least I don't annoy you all the time with my problems" "Are you really annoyed that I keep asking you for advice?" "No, but at least I'd like you to put it into practice" " What are you doing?" " Nothing" "No!" "Why are you cutting them up?" "To make an identikit of your ideal man" "Come here" "Look carefully" "I've divided it up equally from the faces of three men... your men" "Forehead, eyes and nose - sensuality" "Mouth, chin and neck - determination." "Do you agree?" "OK" "Now, let's try it with these segments of Gianni, Mike and Gaetano" "Your ideal man." "Like this, this, and this" "What do you think?" "Don't you like it?" "I suggest we take out this big nose" "You haven't understood anything" "I don't want an ideal man." "I want them" "Then why don't you carry on as you've done so far?" "A bit of hypocrisy, a bit of discretion" "A lot of women do that" "But why should I be hypocritical with them?" "I respect them." "I don't want to deceive them" "But now I can't give any of them up" "Not Gianni, not Gaetano nor Mike" "So, what you want is... a harem" "That's it." "Wait a second" "René..." "I'd hoped you would understand me" "A harem" "You think sex can solve everything" "Right" " Bye" " Have you decided where to go?" " To Yugoslavia, for two weeks" " Have a nice holiday" " And enjoy yourself" " I'll try to" "Have I done the right thing by leaving?" "Jack, stop it!" "Do you think that I can solve my problems by running away?" "You're not running away." "Don't exaggerate" "Think of it as a little holiday" "It's easier to think straight in a new environment." "Plus, you'll have some rest" " Do you ever work?" " In theory I work in public relations" "But if I'm busy with your private relations..." "So you're my eunuch" "What I don't understand is why you want to go all the way to Yugoslavia" "I've heard that Dubrovnik is beautiful" "And at this time of year it's warm and sunny" " We'll swim a lot" " Yeah, in January?" "How nice!" "Come on, get out!" "Let's go" "It looks like taking a holiday wasn't the right therapy after all" "Maybe you're not the right doctor for me" "And who would you need?" "You don't want to tell me, do you?" "You'd need all three of them waiting on you" "Why don't you invite them over?" "I'm serious" "Call them." "You just need to send a telegram and I bet they'll come running!" " The exchange is one to two" " Listen it's better if you accept the situation." "We've both received a telegram" "So we're even" " Where are the taxis?" " At the exit" "Thanks." "By the way, I'm very calm" "Are you free?" "Can you take us to this address?" "Very modern" " A 60-metre concrete vault" " A big factory" " Come and visit me" " Many thanks" " Is the taxi ready?" " This way, sir" " Is Tristeno part of Dubrovnik?" " Yes" " That way" " Are there any good restaurants?" "Excuse me, which villa is it?" "Margherita, they're here." "They've all arrived at the same time" "OK, go and greet them" " Where's the ammonia?" " Don't tell them I sent the telegrams!" "No, don't worry." "Don't say a word, just that I'm ill" "Margherita has always been a bit strange" "Nice place" "We're not alone anymore." "There's three of us now" " How are you?" " Not too bad" " Did you have a nice trip?" " Yes, thanks" " Who's this gentleman?" " Of course!" "You two haven't met before" "Gaetano Mattia di Fucillà, lawyer" "Gianni Invernizza, engineer" "Nice to meet you" " Margherita has told me about you" " She's told me about you too" "Your mother is a friend of Margherita's right?" "Margherita is my friend." "I like to take care of my friends personally not through my mother" " Let's try to keep calm" "If Margherita has summoned the three of us here, she must be really ill" "Must be" "To be honest, I'd rather be here on my own but I would never forbid anybody from seeing Margherita" "I'm sorry, I am not aware of your feelings for Margherita and I don't want to disclose mine but we shouldn't go up to her on a war footing" "You're right, Gaetano" "OK." "After you" " After you" " No, I insist" "Sniff this" "My God!" "What's going to happen?" " It's a nice villa" " It's not the best time to talk about it" " Where's Margherita?" " She's upstairs, resting." "Speak quietly" "I hope that animal didn't make her ill" " Who knows" " Follow me, but be quiet" "After all, it comes from the jungle, and the jungle is contaminated" "What's wrong with her?" " She arrived here feeling dizzy..." " She's certain it's serious?" "Of course That's why she sent the telegrams" "Why did she come to Yugoslavia?" "I bet it was your idea" "Me?" "She dragged me here It's you." "It's all your fault" " After you" " No, please, after you" "Margherita, I have a surprise." "Look who's here to see you" "How kind of you" "Hi, how are you?" "Don't worry." "We're here now" "Come on, Margherita." "Aren't you happy to see us?" "I feel so ashamed" "But why?" "Because I forced the three of you to come here all together" "But I really needed you" "Margherita, don't worry about that" "It's nonsense" " Am I right?" " He's right" "See?" "We've become friends" "Even Gianni and Gaetano" " It was quite funny" " Oh, I do apologise" "We were all on the same flight but we didn't see each other" "I met Michael at the airport, when I arrived." "Gianni was already here" "You said you are friends but you speak so formally to each other" "Sometimes we get it wrong, but look" "My dear old friend, Gaetano" "My dear Gianni." "See?" "We all like each other." "Isn't that so, Mike?" "If it was true, I'd love to get better and be with all of you without any issues" "Where's René?" "My dear René" "So sweet, so lovely" "If you could be friends for real, I know I'd get better straight away" " Are you all right?" " If I could have all of you around me in harmony as you are now" " Wouldn't that be great?" " Of course." "We're staying" "Of course." "Now we know what we have to do" "What a wonderful holiday we could spend all together" "Don't you think so, Gaetano?" "Of course" "It would be wonderful, wouldn't it?" "Everything you want, Margherita." "But don't tire yourself" "But then why the long faces?" "I am so happy" "Aren't you happy?" "Here I am, miraculously cured!" "Gentlemen, she's been pulling our legs" "She's done a good job" "And you were a party to this." "We'll talk again about this!" " I'm not responsible for this" " We'll see!" "What if I had called you to explain myself?" "Yes, but you should have at least called us individually" "Come on." "Don't look at me like that" " You tricked us" " It's true, I lied to you" "But just to get you here" "I missed you and..." "No!" "It's ammonia!" "Don't breathe in, there's ammonia in it!" " Don't touch me!" " Throw it away!" " Murderer!" " He needs water" " How much was there?" " Quite a lot" " It's all right" " Here's some water" " Wash your eyes" " Do you think it will be enough?" "You'll feel better straight away" " It's partly my fault" " Don't be ridiculous..." " Don't worry, it's just fumes ...I shouldn't have left it there" "Let's go back to the hotel" "What about you, Mike?" "Are you staying here?" "Maybe she's right, or maybe not." "I want to try and understand" " So I'll stay" " Of course he wants to stay" "He's a pervert" "My case" " Are you sure, Mike?" " Let's go to the hotel" "Yes, I'm staying" "Don't mix with scum" "Well, now that we're alone what are we going to do?" " You have to go as well" "Either all or none" "First you invite me, then you chuck me out?" "I don't want to go" "It wouldn't be such a bad idea to stay here on holiday for a couple of days" "Yes, it might be nice" " I was about to marry her, you know?" " Really?" "What happened?" "I changed my mind at the last minute" "So, when did you meet her?" "It was through my mother, I didn't..." "I'm not saying I'm a mummy's boy, on the contrary but you know mothers - they want to see you settled" "She said she was an intelligent girl and quite pretty, so why not marrying her?" "You know what mothers can be like" " Margherita chucked me out" " He's back" "She said either all or none" "What is he doing here?" "I'll come around" " What about women?" " I don't care anymore." "Cheers, to us!" "To us!" "I must say, there's one thing I like about Margherita" "Her honesty" " The lawyer is appealing to the court - 16 degrees!" "Maybe "honesty" is not the right word" "Maybe I should say "loyalty"." "Another woman in her place would have stayed in Rome and cheated on us three at the same time" " Instead, she ran away and confessed" " So we're cuckolded and happy" "Why do you have to say "cuckolded"?" "It's an obsession" "What are you trying to say?" "I want to take some of these bottles back to Italy" "It's very simple" "Margherita wants the three of us" "Did you hear that?" "According to this immoral person a woman can love three men at the same time" "Where's our fried fish?" "Yes, because in a matriarchal society..." "That's rubbish!" "I have been to university too, you know?" "The idea of matriarchy makes me laugh" "Women are biologically inferior to men" " Do you know what Plato said?" " No" "Or maybe it was Rousseau, I can't remember now" ""The ideal family, and therefore the ideal society "should be based on the freedom of the husband "and the subjection of the wife"" " Our sardines!" " The service in here is awful" "I don't understand why tourists come here to Dubrovnik and spend so much" "Yes, it's a nice city" " But it's similar to Venice" " Is this a scale?" "Italian!" "Please, weigh yourselves" " 100 kg" " That's impossible" " Are you drunk?" " The scale is right" " The scale is precise, it doesn't lie" " Put it on 80 kg" " How are you?" " I've tried a new great restaurant" "I've eaten really nice fresh fish" "Ask him where we can find prostitutes" " 90 kg." "That's right" " Good" "This is Mr Fucillà, a friend of mine from Rome" "Many thanks" "So, goodbye" "You're crazy" " Why?" " How do we find them now?" " Oh, please!" " They must be somewhere" "I don't know the guy, I can't just ask things like that." "I don't want to find prostitutes, I want to go to bed." "We're leaving tomorrow" "Is that René?" "I don't want anything to do with you or Margherita." "Bye" " Come on, Renato" " What do you want?" "Don't go away." "Stay with us" " Renato, come here" " Come on, Renato" "I don't want anything to do with your Margherita" "You mean "your", not "our" Margherita" " What happened?" " That wicked woman." "It's your fault" " Did Margherita do that?" " Who else?" " If you keep laughing, I'm going" " No, wait" "If she'd thrown that stone a bit harder, she would have killed me" " But where's Margherita?" " I'll take you there" "Drink up" "Give me the bottle" " I want some, too" " Who did that?" "Margherita?" "I suggest we go there and say hello as friends" "Just to be polite Do you agree, Gianni?" " He's right" " Yes, why not?" "We'll say hello, as if nothing happened, then we'll leave" "I agree, but let's be very cold" " Yes, as cold as ice" " That will teach her" "Young lad, do you like Margherita too?" "Margherita, do you like this lad?" "Our flight is tomorrow morning" "We've lost Margherita and we've found plum brandy" "As we said, our plane only leaves tomorrow morning" "Didn't you find anything better?" "We're not drunk" " It's a souvenir, right Mike?" " Yes" "René, join us!" "Wait" " René!" " Here, Gianni." "Drink up" "Listen, René." "Make an effort." "Say hello to her" "Come on, let's go." "Come" "Margherita, look what you've done to him" "Poor René" "If it wasn't for them, I would have reported you" "You'll pay for this, sooner or later" "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to hurt you" "Right on the temple" "I'm going back to Rome with them" " Good bye" " Good luck." "Bye" "No, wait." "Let's stay a bit longer" " Wait" " We'll listen to some music" " I'm tired, I have to go back to the hotel" " No hotel" "Gianni, no." "We're not leaving" "Margherita, taste this brandy." "It's made with plums" "Thank you" " René..." " Drink with us." "Drink" "Drink some more" " Thanks" " Mind you, this isn't a reconciliation" " Isn't that right, Gaetano?" " Absolutely" " We're just friends" " OK, Gianni." "As you wish" "Here you are, René" "Margherita, I'll forgive everything" "Can we make a fresh start?" "Margherita, I may be crazy but I cannot leave without you" "Do you know that those two wanted to look for prostitutes?" "But I said no" "I am different" "Listen, I'll close down the factory and sell everything" "We'll travel around the world, just the two of us" "I'm going to marry you, Margherita." "I need you" "Where are we going?" "Come on, wake up!" "Come on, wake up, guys." "We're here" ""Here" where?" "Don't touch me, Margherita." "Gianni, help me" "A sportsman like you, tired already!" "Look at me." "I am a businessman but I'm fine" "Today's sportsmen are different" "Mike, Gaetano." "Let's make this clear" "I didn't object to coming here, but there was one condition" "From now on the three of us must respect Margherita" "We're here as friends" "Do we agree?" " Yes" " OK" " He rebuked you, eh?" " Let's go in!" "Come on, Mike, wake up" "Come on, wake up, Mike" "Instead of staying here why don't you go and sleep in your bedroom?" "It's ready" "Here, this is for you" "No, Mike..." "I'm tired" "If you don't want to make love, why did you wake me up?" "Tell me" "Why did you make love to Gianni this morning?" "I saw you" "I don't know" "Because he's nice, kind and he still talks about marrying me" "So what?" "I was the first one" "Your first love" "You can never forget your first love" "Come on!" "You know you like it" "Wake up" "Close the shutters, please" "No, you have to wake up" "We have to make love" " You have the same rights" " What?" " It's beautiful here" " Do you like this?" "It smells great!" "It's butter" " Pepper?" " No" "It feels like spring over here" "Listen, where are Margherita and Gaetano?" "They're coming." "You're lucky you could sleep" "I had to go shopping and rush through the housework" " Don't you have a maid?" " In the morning, just for cleaning" "But now you're here it's not enough anymore" " I'll have to solve the problem" " Come on" "We'll see" "Are you going to stay?" "Maybe" "For a couple of days" "It's a nice place and the food is great" "I don't see why we should go" "Plus, Mummy René takes care of everything" "What do you think, Mike?" "Shall we stay for a few days?" "I'm OK with that." "I'd already said that I would stay" "How cute!" "If only the Americans could see him." "It's like Walt Disney!" " Beautiful" " Good morning, dears!" " Good morning" " Did you sleep well?" "Here you are" "What does this mean?" "What kind of joke is this?" "Can you pass me the butter, please?" "Thanks" "I am immoral" "You are immoral" "And he is immoral" "I'm sorry but I still don't understand" "You, my dear yesterday morning on the beach." "Method - sweetness" "That's right" "You, in the villa" "Method - violence" "Me, in my bed, taken advantage of" "Not bad" "We're missing a sign." "Give me the pen" "You know what I'm going to write?" ""Bitch"!" "I am an amoral not an immoral" "Let me remind you that we had a deal" " Do you remember?" " No" "I'm sorry but I didn't break the deal" "I have been taken advantage of" "We're only men." "We can't resist temptations" "She should have respected us, in this case" "Plus, I was drunk last night" "I really don't understand." "What does she want?" "Do you know?" "She wants all of us at her service" "At any time" "So she can take from each of us what she wants" "That's it" "We shouldn't even be discussing this!" "She's a mad visionary" "As far as I'm concerned, I don't understand jealousy" "And I think you are nice people to be around" " I'm coming!" " Have you seen my friends?" " They're in the garden" " What are they doing in the garden?" "Can I ask you what this is all about?" "It's your harem, princess" "I don't want a harem" "And I don't want to have to choose either." "I want to be chosen and loved" "But that's impossible." "We have already decided to be your slaves, am I right?" "Do you want to play harem?" "Very well" " Sit down, princess" " Let's play harem" "Please sit down, princess" "Spanish slave, the veil" "Lift up the veil" "Let our princess sit" " Careful, please" " Be gentle" "Shall we lift up the stretcher now?" "Slowly!" "René, please help me carry the princess" "I can't!" "I am her eunuch!" " Let's go, slaves" " Take him away" "We're taking Madam Susanna for a swim" "Careful down the steps" "Who had this brilliant idea?" "Damn it!" "I even have to be a porter now!" "Place the princess over there, quick!" "Good." "The black slave here." "You..." "Come closer." "Quick" "Careful" "Princess, may I introduce to you your slaves?" "Eunuch, you can introduce the harem" "Thank you" "The slave from Nubia" "Very faithful" "Extremely strong" "Come on, get up" "Great stallion." "Extraordinary muscles." "Good at everything" "Spanish soldier." "Taken prisoner in Lepanto." "Kneel down!" "He's worth a lot" "He can read, write and..." "his teeth are healthy" " Back away on your knees" " Stop it" "Come on, enough of this farce" "And now the best specimen - the Puritan." "He didn't want to undress" "Come on, introduce yourself to the lady" "Panic flute" "And now you can choose" "The slave from Nubia" "The Spanish soldier" "The Puritan" "They're all equals to me" "Leave me alone" "I'll make my choice when I feel ready" "I don't understand what's so funny about it" "She has to have fun, not us" "No wonder, just look at her" "Very romantic indeed" "Very romantic" "I am Gaetano's mother." "The landlady's friend" "Signorina Margherita." "Italian." "Sick" "Yes, Margherita." "Italian." "In the garden" "Take this off now." "The light's beautiful" "We'll take lots of pictures and send them to "Playboy"" "My God!" "That's not my son!" "How awful!" "Maid, take me to see my son Mattia de Fucillà" "No, hair down." "Like this" "That's it." "Don't bite me, little cat" "Naughty cat" "Here you are" " This is your son's room" " Leave us alone, please" "Oh, my God!" "What's the matter?" "You ask me that!" "What kind of man are you?" "Mum, what are you doing here?" "It's a disgrace!" "Don't say a word!" "Thank God your father is dead" "Yes, but you can't judge me like..." "Get dressed!" "Oh, my God." "I don't feel well" "Mum, calm down" "You can't judge me like this, without letting me explain" "You liked Margherita and René so much" "Mum, what's wrong?" "Come on, Mum" "You'll end up making me cry too" "Please" "It's good, isn't it?" "Wouldn't you like to eat it?" "Get your tongue off." "This is not mould, you know" "It's seasoned" "Now the only problem is transporting it" "It's a rarity." "We don't have this kind of ham in Italy" "If you add tax, you end up paying as much as you would for a Parma ham" "San Daniele ham is the same price" "I'm pleased to see you again" " He hasn't done anything" " Yes, he has" " Everybody is a pervert in this house" " Mum" "Calm down." "I'll explain you later" "Mum, calm down, please" "What's wrong, Mum?" "The car is just outside." "Can you walk?" " Who is she?" " His mother" "His poor mother" "Who called her here?" "Oh, dear" " Are you talking about Gianni?" " Yes" "Let's go and get some fresh air" "Gianni is her uncle" "He has nothing to do with this." "Why do you think I accept this situation?" "Because you're madly in love with her" "No, it's because Margherita is cheating on the photographer with me" "You don't know anything." "Put this on, it's cold" "You must look after yourself" "This is how things went" "Mike was Margherita's first love" "He came back after I met her, and he wanted to get back with her" "Do you understand now, Mum?" "I'll spend three or four days here" "I need a holiday every now and then, don't you think?" "Be careful, son" "Yes, don't worry" " Only passengers on board" " Yes, thank you" " Bye, Mum" " Bye-bye." "Take care" " No visitors on board" " Have a safe trip" "Gaetano, promise me you'll never marry that woman" "Yes, Mum." "Yes, bye." "I promise you" "His mother came here thinking she would find her son engaged" "Or almost." "If it had been your mum can you imagine it?" "My mother is dead" "I think you're making a big deal out of nothing" "Stop acting dumb" "I consider Gaetano's mum as my own" " As our own" " True" "Where's your mother?" " She left" " What?" "You let her go on her own?" " What else could I do?" " Take this" "She doesn't want to know about me anymore." "She left cursing me" "Poor woman" " Where's Margherita?" " She's upstairs" "Don't be too harsh with her." "She's devastated" "She didn't even want to eat" "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to my room." "I'm very tired" "We should all leave" "Do you realise how terrible this situation is?" "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh" "We have made a mistake." "Poor woman" "Why did she have to come here?" " Can I switch the light on?" " If you want to" ""The Triumph of Death", by D'Annunzio" "Giorgio Rispa is madly in love with lppolita  a woman he has shaped to meet his requirements  and suit his needs" "The dissatisfaction of this relationship is slowly consuming their lives" "Only isolation and contact with nature..." "And contact with nature  give way to feelings of regret  while the mystic aspirations  can't relieve the pain  caused by a string of sins, until death puts an end to it" "This is how she appeared" "A strong, intelligent courtesan who was inspired by grace" "Wonderful in her voluptuous aura" "Although she may appear to me in many different ways  her shape is outlined by my desire  and her shadows are produced by my thoughts" "The way she appears to me every moment..." "It's worse than a Hitchcock film" "There isn't a law that regulates the sale of these pills yet" " Thanks anyway" " I understand but..." "I'm sorry" "Margherita, you should have seen it!" "I've been attacked by..." "I'm not talking to you after what you've done" "No, Margherita, listen." "I explained to you why I've done it" "I thought you'd appreciate it" "Why don't you want to accept it as a sign of love?" "I'll take my responsibilities" "Close that umbrella." "Can't you see that it's not raining anymore?" "You shouldn't have thrown away my pills" "They belonged to me" "I want a baby from you" "Ah, very well!" "What's going to happen when the baby is born?" "Who is going to keep it?" "Me or you?" "Can you tell me?" "What do you mean?" "We'll get married" "Can't you take this as a sign of love?" "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to get married?" "Margherita, don't you think you're being too repetitive?" "Stop it!" "I don't want to hear you!" "Go away!" " Where did you leave our friend Gianni?" " In town" " Did you find the pills?" " They don't have them here" "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find some tomorrow" "There she is." "The superior woman" "Without the pill she's lost" "No more equality of the sexes, right?" "We're back to the time of cavemen" " And the ancestral fear is back" " Very good, Mike" "Of course I'm scared." "Because you are irresponsible people" "It's the one who threw the boxes away" "Gianni, come here" "What's wrong?" "What have you done to the lady?" "Me?" "Nothing" "He wanted a baby, can you imagine?" "Margherita, please" "I really can't understand you, Gianni" "Can't you see?" "Conceiving babies in this situation!" "Who'd be the father?" "Nothing happened" "I don't even want a baby" "We'd have sorted the paternity issue in alphabetical order" "The first baby would be Gaetano's..." "G-A" "The second Gianni's..." "G-I" "The third Mike's..." "M-I" "The fourth, strange as it may seem, would be René's" "Leave me out of it, please" "So you all think that my main aspiration is to have a baby from you?" "You're just selfish and arrogant men" "Let's be nice to this poor woman, let's give her a baby" "So she'll feel happy, content" "She'll believe she's become important" "And let's also tell her that we're letting her raise our child" "Making sure to stress the word "our"" "She's even rebelling against the laws of biology" "It was a great idea to throw the pills all over the place!" "Gaetano, please, stop complaining" "I'm cold and angry" "When I throw things away, I throw things away" " Hey, are you not joining us?" " No, I'm not going to play this silly game" "I won't join you full stop" "There's no more respect" "You even trample on maternal feelings in order to achieve what you want" "And now you're bringing babies into this" "I disagree." "And I won't allow you to make fun of sacred things" "Come on." "You're mad" "Mike, have you found anything?" "I've found two" "See?" "With a bit of patience..." "He's found two" "Hey, look what he's eating" "What are you doing?" "Are you eating the pills?" "Open your mouth!" "No, he's not eating the pills" "Oh, look at this." "Ouch!" "Stupid..." "Mike!" "Come in." "The film screening today is "Naked Curves"" "You're not the only diva here." "You have competition." "Look" "You know, the job of a photographer is great" "It's good fun" "You obviously have to find nice and interesting subjects" "Margheritina, you're in the way." "You're not see-through." "Please, move" "Next one?" " Take that insect off" " It's a friend of mine" " Do you recognise it?" " It's the desert" "What is it then?" " Our Margherita" " No way!" "It's amazing what you can do with photography" "Close the door" "Mount Margherita" "And now I'll show you a lady from Hamburg" "I'll be the screen." "Project the photo on my jumper" " That's it" " Here you go" "You can't fish when the sea's rough" "Who said that?" "I've caught one, haven't I?" "Madam wants to see you Come on, chop chop!" "This place is not a harem." "It's worse than the barracks" "All done" "Fancy a drink, Margherita?" "The others will be right here" " Do you want some, Gaetano?" " Yes, please" "Why did you call them up?" "I didn't ask you to" "You didn't but you complain about being lonely" "We need to be four bodies and one mind - yours" "A rare specimen because it's the only one" " Fishermen..." " Nice rifle." "Did you buy it?" "So, we'll all go hunting tomorrow" " Stop it" " Look at them" "Very good." "You're planning to go hunting while the lady suffers from loneliness" "I'm not suffering from anything" "I know that real friendship is between men" "I've introduced you, you became friends" " Now I can leave" " What would we do without you?" "Women are impossible to understand" "She was the one who gathered us here but now she's jealous of our friendship" "So..." "You are very confused." "You can't decide, actually you don't want to decide" "But the game is getting dangerous" "Careful, because they will make all the decisions for you" " Can you tell me how it will end up?" " No?" " Women..." "I'll never understand them" " She got bored of us" "I'm speaking for myself." "But what do you think?" "Margherita is not in town" "Nor at the hotel." "I don't know where to look for her anymore" "When she feels like it, she'll come back" " I'm going to eat." "I'm hungry" " Me too" "Here's your coffee" "Wake up!" "Coffee time" " Coffee anybody?" "Gianni?" " Yes, please" "Hi, Margherita." "We've been waiting for you for hours" " Coffee?" " I'm leaving" "You're leaving?" " She's leaving?" " She's leaving" "The lady does as she pleases" "I won't ask you where you've been" "I don't have the right to do it, but they are fuming" "I couldn't stand it any longer" "But you have to understand them." "They spent all night looking for you" "I'm sorry" " Are you really leaving?" " Yes" " Are you going back to Rome?" " In a few days" "Did you meet somebody else?" "You did." "I know you too well" "Who is he?" "Is he young?" " Why do you want to know?" " Well, if it's a secret then it's the man of your life" "The problem is, today the maid is not even coming" "Well, you can do the chores" "No, Margherita!" "I'm tired of it." "There's a limit to everything" "I'm a man too!" "I want to leave" "Sorry, I locked up to make sure the cheetah wouldn't get out" "Have a safe journey and be happy" "We'd like to apologise to you" "Can you accept our apologies?" "Answer." "Do you accept them?" "Come on, make peace" " Do you accept?" " Come on." "Let's part as friends" "We've made a mistake." "Forgive us" "Forgive me" "You have to forgive me" "Wait, Margherita" "Only one last favour" "Mike's trousers" "You can sew, can't you?" "You're not a great housekeeper, but I assume you can at least sew" "Look, five buttons are missing" "Can you see what state he is in?" "You wouldn't leave him like that, would you?" "Only five buttons and then you're free to go" "Look how beautiful she is" "Tell her to prepare something to eat." "I'm hungry" "He wants you to prepare us something to eat" "You will prepare us a nice lunch as a lasting memory" "A nice lunch." "Margherita, the housewife" "Margherita, the angel of the house" "Of course." "Our angel" "Lunch!" " Hooray for the spaghetti!" " Well done!" "Everybody - smell" "Is everything on the table?" "Salt, pepper, sauce?" " Say when" " As usual, there's something missing" "It's easy to criticise, but you can't find Grana cheese here" " Wine, Gaetano?" " Yes, please" "This is for René" "From the smell I can tell it's much better than yours" "Pass the plate" "Are you not going to eat with us?" "Gaetano, pull up a chair" "Sit down with us, Margherita." "Come here" " Wait" " Please" "Now that the lady has sat down, we can start eating" "Would you like some?" " This pasta's not that great." " I'm only eating it because I'm hungry" "Then do what I'm doing add some salt, and a bit of pepper" " René cooks much better" " There's no comparison" "It's still rubbish" "Try some" "Have some, come on" "So you know it too" "Not even the cheetah can eat it." "This spaghetti's crap!" "You can't do this to a lady" "Gaetano, don't get carried away now." "We're gentlemen" " I'm sorry" " Margherita, I'm sorry but a woman should at least be able to cook but you don't have the faintest clue" "At least spaghetti." "She can't do anything, for God's sake!" "Yes, he's right" "Come on, Margherita, at least spaghetti" "Don't you know that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" "Didn't anyone tell you that?" "You should have learnt something else apart from having sex" "Cooking is not that difficult after all." "What can you do?" "Tell us" "What can you do?" "Fried eggs" "And steak" "See, Margherita first we made you become a good housewife and now a beautiful erotic object" "Do you know why?" "It's not for our own pleasure" "But for your own good" "To allow you to get back to your natural female status" "Sacred words" "Stand up and take the blanket off" "Do you want me naked?" "No, Margherita, not naked" "Don't overdo it" "We just want you to be a nice erotic object" "We're not pornographers" "Maybe we should ask Prince Charming what he thinks" "He's a man too with his own opinions" "Tell us where this Prince Charming is" "We'll go and look for him, Margheritina." "Where is he?" "Here he is" " Prince Charming!" "Gaetano - a lawyer" "Gianni - an engineer" "Very good" "Mike - unemployed" "Name and surname" "What's his name?" "True..." "what could we call him?" "What could his name be?" "Tell us his name!" "His name is "Secret Passion", "Mystery"" "We'll just call him Mr X" " Do you agree?" " Yes" "First name, X. Surname, X" "The sun" "I am going to go now" "Wait a second!" "Before you leave we still have one more game to play" "The tower game" "It's a very interesting game" "A very revealing scientific test" "You'll like it too" "And it's very stimulating" " Come on, let's play" " We're ready" "Give me your arm" "Come on, princess!" "Come on, the tower game is fun" "Who are you?" "Where do you come from?" "What do you want?" "She's an alien!" "Careful, Mr X. She's an alien" "Come on." "Let's hurry up with this game" "Margherita has to leave" "I am cold!" "This is salt" "We have caught the alien!" "And we're taking her to the tower!" "'The Bridge of Sighs'" "Mind the step" "What an awful place." "It gets worse and worse" "Hurry up, Gianni!" "We have to be quick!" "Here we are, on top of the tower" "Here" "Sit down" "We have here the lady, the tower and Mr X" "Now, Margherita you are on top of the tower with your Mr X" "One of you has to jump to save the other's life" "Understood, Mr X?" "It's a nice test, but cruel." "Like the Chinese bell one" "You win a fortune but the man dies" "They should do this in churches, before celebrating weddings" "So, Margherita, who is going to jump?" "One of you has to be willing to sacrifice their life for the other" "What do you think?" "Who is going to jump?" "You or him?" "Who is going to jump from the tower?" "It's obvious, men are more selfish" "But look at Margherita" "She'd like to jump but she's a woman" "Her feelings are decent" "Margherita, make a decision, then you can leave" "So, which one of you is going to jump?" "I don't want to play this game anymore" "Come on, be a good girl" "Once you start a game you have to get to the end of it" "Come on" "We can wait for days, but you can't." "You're in a hurry" "It would be too easy to leave without making a decision" " You have to choose, Margheritina" " Am I the one you'd like to push down?" "It's the truth, you'd like to push me off the tower" "Come on, Margherita." "Come" "You have to jump from here" "Do you see what women are like?" "First they use men, then get rid of them like old rags" "Women have always made sacrifices for men" "That's their real strength." "Am I right, Mr X?" "So, who do you want to push down, Margherita?" "Me?" "You won't push me down!" "THE END" "Translated by Lorena Uras" "DVD Subtitles by International Broadcast Facilities"