"( Banjo and Piano )" "( "The Bathing Suit that Grandma Otter Wore" )" "Together:" "LONG, LONG AGO THERE LIVED A LADY" "SIMPLE BUT ELEGANT AS ANY ON THE SHORE." "SHE WAS KNOWN FOR HER GENEROUS SILHOUETTE," "Together:" "AND YET..." "SHE WAS KNOWN EVEN MORE FOR..." "THE BATHING SUIT SHE WORE." "EVEN SO IT WAS HER BATHING SUIT THAT MADE HER FAMOUS," "IT WAS ALMOST HEAVEN-SENT." "MANY TIMES WHEN IT WAS DRYING ON THE LINE" "A TOURIST WOULD MISTAKE IT FOR A CIRCUS TENT..." "OH, HI, EMMET." "I'M FISHING!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "DELIVERING LAUNDRY AND GOIN' TO WATERVILLE!" "SEE YA, WENDELL!" "Together:" "NOW SHE HAS GONE." "NOW SHE HAS LEFT US." "LEFT WITH SWEET MEMORIES" "AND LEFT WITH SOMETHING MORE;" "WE'VE MADE CURTAINS" "AND HANDKERCHIEFS" "AND CLOTHING FOR THE..." "Together:" "POOR..." "FROM THE ONE BATHING SUIT THAT YOUR GRANDMA OTTER WORE." "FROM THAT ONE BATHING SUIT THAT YOUR GRANDMA OTTER WORE." "SAY, MA, THAT SOUNDED PRETTY NICE." "BETTER LEAN INTO THAT STARBOARD OAR." "THERE'S OLD GRETCHEN FOX ON HER DOCK," "WAITIN' FOR HER LAUNDRY." "WHEW-HOO, SHE LOOKS FRIENDLY AS A POLECAT TODAY." "WELL, IT'S ABOUTTIME YOU GOT HERE." "SAME TIME WEALWAYSGET HERE." "YES, YOU'RE LATE EVERY WEEK." "AND LAST WEEK WHEN I OPENED THE LAUNDRY PARCEL" "THERE WAS A SCORCH MARK ON ONE OF THE SHEETS." "OH!" "WELL, MAYBE I CAN" "KNOCK OFF A LITTLE BIT ON THE PRICE." "I, UH" "YOU CERTAINLY SHALL." "REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN I PAY YOU NEXT WEEK." "WELL, I'VE GOT THE BILL RIGHT HE-HERE." "AND SINCE IT'S THREE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS," "I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF" "TA!" "WELL, THAT'S TELLING HER, ALICE." "MORNIN', WILL POSSUM." "MORNIN'." "I DIDN'T SEE YOU SITTING THERE." "WELL, THAT'S OKAY, ALICE." "LISTEN, YOU GOT ANYTHING TO BARTER WITH TODAY?" "OH, GLAD YOU ASKED." "JUST KNITTED UP A FINE PAIR OF WOOL SOCKS." "GREAT!" "I'VE GOT A FEW BIG OL' PUMPKINS." "PUMPKINS, HUH?" "I COULD MAKE 'EM INTO PIES AND SELL 'EM AT A PROFIT." "WELL, THEY'RE IN THE GARDEN RIGHT OVER HERE." "( Quacking )" "CAN YOU MAKE MUCH MONEY ON THOSE PUMPKIN PIES, MA?" "OOH, ABOUT ENOUGH TO BUY WOOL" "FOR ANOTHER PAIR OF SOCKS, I GUESS." "GOOD THINKING, MA." "NOW YOU CAN KNIT MORE SOCKS TO BUY MORE PUMPKINS" "TO SELL MORE PUMPKINS TO BUY MORE WOOL" "( Laughing ) OH, ALL RIGHT." "ALL RIGHT." "LEAN INTO THOSE OARS" "OR WE'LL NEVER GET TO WATERVILLE." "( Engines Revving )" "( Brakes Screech!" ") ( Crash!" ")" "STOP!" "( Brakes Screech!" ")" "HEY, WHADYA DO THAT FOR," "RIGHT, BOSS?" "AAAGGHH!" "ME AND CHUCK'S GOING TO LUNCH," "WE DON'T WANT TO STOP;" "RIGHT, CHUCK?" "MY NECK!" "OH, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY." "YEAH, THERE'S A MUSIC STORE OVER THERE" "AND SNAKE NEEDS A NEW STRING FOR HIS GUITAR." "MM-HMM." "GET OFF MY SHOULDER." "I-I'M GOING, I'M GOING..." "JEEZ, A FELLA SHOULD BE GRATEFUL HE'SGOTSHOULDERS..." "COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO IN THE STORE." "ARE YOU CRAZY?" "ME AND CHUCK DON'T WANNA GO TO NO DUMB MUSIC STORE." "NAW, NAW, WE DIDN'T THINK SO." "I'D LIKE TO." "( All Agree )" "I'LL STAY HERE." "IT'S TOO DRY IN THERE." "HEY, YOU, YOU YOUNG RAGSCAMPS!" "YOU JUST MESSED UP MY FRUIT STAND." "AWW, SO SORRY!" "( Pfft!" ")" "( Splash!" ")" "( Excited Chatter )" "RIGHT, CHUCK" "SORRY ABOUT THAT..." "IS THAT ALL THE ERRANDS WE HAVE TO DO?" "NOPE, BUT IT'S THE END OF THE MONEY" "WE HAVE TO DO 'EM WITH." "( Chuckling )" "DI WAIT NOW, EMMET." "DN'T SAM TURTLE PAY YOU FOR FIXING HIS STEPS YESTERDAY?" "UH, NO..." "I WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE 'EM." "OH, EMMET," "YOU WITH YOUR ODD JOBS," "ME WITH MY SOCKS AND PUMPKINS..." "NO WONDER WE'RE SO RICH." "AWW, WE'LL MAKE OUT." "YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH, MA." "OOH, I'VE GOT PLENTY OF FAITH." "I SPENT ALL THOSE YEARS" "MARRIED TO A SNAKE OIL SALESMAN, DIDN'T I?" "WELL, PASHOULD'VE GOTTEN RICH ON SNAKE OIL." "BUT, "THERE JUST AREN'T ENOUGH PEOPLE" "Together:" ""WHO WANT TO OIL A SNAKE!"" "( Laughing )" "OH, PA USED TO ALWAYS SAY THAT WHEN BUSINESS WAS BAD." "YEP, HE SAID IT A LOT." "WAIT NOW..." "WOULD YA LOOKAT THAT." "WHAT?" "THAT SWELL GUITAR!" "MOTHER-OF-PEARL INLAYS, TOO!" "NOW, MA,THAT'SWHAT YOU CAN GET ME FOR CHRISTMAS!" "OH, SURE..." "AFTER ALL, IT'S ONLY $40!" "SAY, WHAT IS THAT RACKET?" "( Loud Rock Music )" "OH, NO, NO, NO..." "OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE" "WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE IN MY STORE!" "WHO ARE THEY, MA?" "BEATS ME." "HOOLIGANS IS WHAT THEY ARE." "PROBABLY SOME OF THOSE RIVERBOTTOM BOYS." "( Crash!" ")" "Store Owner:" "NOW SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" "!" "I WANT ALL OF YOU OUT OF HERE AT ONCE!" "( Excited Chatter )" "HERE YA GO, IT AIN'T EVEN HURT." "IF THEY DIDN'T WANT THESE THINGS TO ROLL," "THEY SHOULDA MADE 'EM SQUARE." "( Laughter )" "HEY!" "YEAH, CHUCK?" "I'M HUNGRY." "HEY, EVERYBODY, CHUCK'S HUNGRY." "NO, I'M NOT HUNGRY..." "I'MHUUUNNNGRY!" "CHECK, CHUCK!" "NOW!" "( All Agree )" "( Engine Starts  Revs )" "OHH, GETTING COLDER EVERY DAY NOW." "BE WALKING THE RIVER SOON." "AND SKATING ON IT." "GOT TO EXPECT COLD WEATHER," "JUST A FEW DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS." "DON'T TALK ABOUT CHRISTMAS ALL THE TIME." "THERE'S NO POINT, IS THERE?" "WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FOR REGULAR DAYS." "SORRY." "I REMEMBER THE LAST CHRISTMAS BEFORE PA DIED..." "OH, EMMET." "I REMEMBER DECORATING THE CHRISTMAS BRANCH AND..." "PA SANG AND..." "YOU PLAYED THAT OL' PIANO WE HAD." "I REMEMBER ALL RIGHT." "SELLING THAT OLD PIANO" "WAS ONE OF THE SADDEST THINGS I EVER HAD TO DO." "SEEMS LIKE WE'VE SOLD JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING" "LAST COUPLE OF YEARS." "ABOUT ALL I'VE GOT LEFT IS A SENSE OF HUMOR AND A WASHTUB." "WELL, AT LEAST THERE AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "HEAD FULL OF GOOD THOUGHTS, BELLY FULL OF GRUB," "MONEY IN YOUR POCKET," "WHEN THERE AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "SWEET AS HONEYSUCKLE ON THE VINE, MA." "Together:" "YOUR NAILS WON'T BREAK AND YOUR TOES WON'T STUB," "YOU NEVER GET A FEVER" "WHEN THERE AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "IF YOU LOOK TO THE GOOD SIDE," "FALLING DOWN'S A FREE RIDE" "SLIPPING AND A-SLIDING IN THE MUD." "IF YOUR BACK IS HURTIN'" "I CAN SAY FOR CERTAIN" "I'LL BE THERE TO TREAT YOU TO A SOOTHING BACK RUB." "Emmet:" "WHEN THERE AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "LUNCH WITH THE UPPER CRUST," "DINNER AT THE CLUB," "HIGH ON THE HOG" "WHEN THERE AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "WATERMELON GARDEN, BERRIES ON THE SHRUB," "COOKIES IN THE KITCHEN" "WHEN THERE AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "HI, EMMET." "LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT!" "( Chuckling ) GOOD CATCH, WENDELL!" "YEAH, THEY'RE REALLY BITING TODAY!" "( Splash!" ")" "I'LL BE THERE TO TREAT YOU TO A SOOTHING BACK RUB." "WHEN THERE AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "THERE GO TWO OF THE NICEST FOLK ON THE RIVER." "IF YOU LOOK TO THE GOOD SIDE," "FALLING DOWN'S A FREE RIDE" "SLIPPING AND A-SLIDING IN THE MUD." "THOUGH IT TWISTS AND CONTORTS YOU," "THAT BARREL SUPPORTS YOU." "YOU CAN FEED AND CLOTHE YOURSELF" "WITH A RUB-A-DUB-DUB" "WHEN THERE AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "AIN'T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB." "( Music )" "( Music Continues )" "PHEW!" "BOY, IT'S COLD THIS MORNING." "WOW!" "RIVER'S FROZEN UP SOLID." "BOY, MA WILL BE NEEDING A MESS OF WOOD TODAY." "HI, EMMET!" "EMMET!" "MORNING, WENDELL." "GUESS WHAT?" "OLD LADY POSSUM WILL GIVE ME 50 IF I MEND HER FENCE." "50?" "!" "GOOD DEAL." "YEAH, BUT..." "I DON'T HAVE ANY TOOLS." "OH..." "I'VE" "GOT THE TOOLS IN PA'S OLD TOOL CHEST." "HEY!" "IF YOU COULD HELP, MAYBE WE COULD SPLIT THE MONEY." "SURE THING!" "I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU." "GOOD!" "OH, LET'S SEE..." "UM, HALF OF 50..." "HALF OF 50..." "OH, MORNING, MRS. MUSKRAT." "MORNING, EMMET." "IS YOUR MA HOME?" "SHE SURE IS." "OH, LET ME GET THE DOOR FOR YA." "OH, THANK YOU." "COMPANY, MA!" "HETTY!" "COME IN, COME IN." "OH, DON'T FUSS, ALICE." "I'M JUST HERE" "TO USE THE SPINNING WHEEL YOU KEEP BORROWIN' FROM ME." "SIT DOWN." "( Gasp!" ") MERCY!" "I DON'T EVEN HAVE WATER ON FOR TEA!" "Ma:" "GOODNESS GRACIOUS!" "MA, ME 'N WENDELL GOT A JOB." "REAL MONEY THIS TIME." "SEE YA!" "WATCH OUT FOR THIN ICE ALONG THE RIVERBANK." "OKAY, BYE, MA." "( Slam!" ")" "WHOO, CAN THAT BOY MOVE FAST." "NOW, WHERE'D I PUT THE TEAPOT?" "WELL, EMMET, ARE YA GOING TO ENTER?" "ENTER WHAT?" "THE CONTEST." "I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY CONTEST." "GOLLY, IT'S A TALENT CONTEST..." "AT THE TOWN HALL..." "ON CHRISTMAS EVE." "NO KIDDIN'." "AND FIRST PRIZE IS$50!" "$50?" "!" "THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY, HETTY." "YOU SURE YOU GOT THAT RIGHT?" "$50 CASH!" "THAT'S THE PRIZE!" "LOTTA MONEY..." "I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED, ALICE." "YOU DO HAVE A MIGHTY FINE SINGING VOICE." "HMM..." "HMM." "ANYBODY'D BE INTERESTED IN $50..." "HEY, WHY DON'T YOU ENTER, EMMET?" "YOU'RE A GOOD SINGER..." "I ARE YOU KIDDING?" "COULDN'T GET UP THERE AND SING ALL BY MYSELF." "IT'D BE EMBARRASSING!" "HI, HARVEY." "HI, CHARLEY." "HEY, EMMET..." "WENDELL," "HEY, LISTEN," "YOU TWO ARE JUST WHO WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR." "YOU BET." "OH, YEAH?" "WHAT'S UP, HARVEY?" "WELL, YOU KNOW ABOUT THE WATERVILLE TALENT CONTEST?" "SURE, EVERYBODY'S HEARD OF THAT." "RIGHT, EMMET?" "WELL, YOU SEE," "CHARLIE AND ME WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT" "WHAT WE SHOULD DO IS ORGANIZE A JUG-BAND." "YEAH, WOULDN'T THAT BE SWELL?" "!" "SEE, I PLAY KAZOO AND WASHBOARD" "AND CHARLIE HERE PLAYS A GOOD CIGAR BOX BANJO." "I REALLY DO..." "UH..." "MY MA SAYS." "MM-HMM." "SO ALLS WE NEED IS" "A COUPLE OF OTHER GUYS TO FILL OUT THE BAND." "WELL, HOW COME US?" "WELL, YOU SEE," "YOU CAN BLOW A JUG, WENDELL." "YEAH!" "HEY, THIS IS A GOOD IDEA, EMMET." "MAYBE." "WHAT WOULD I PLAY?" "WHAT ELSE?" "YOU GET TO PLAY WASHTUB BASS." "WHY ME?" "WELL, BECAUSE YOUR MA'S GOT THE WASHTUB!" "OH, NO!" "FORGET IT, COUNT ME OUT!" "I'M NOT IN YOUR BAND, AND THAT'SFINAL!" "CO" "ME ON, WHY NOT, EMMET?" "BECAUSE, TO MAKE A WASHTUB BASS," "YOU HAVE TO PUT A HOLE IN THE WASHTUB!" "HMM..." "I DON'T EVEN HAVE A PROPER COSTUME." "HETTY, I CAN'T POSSIBLY ENTER THAT CONTEST!" "YOU'RE RIGHT, ALICE." "FORGET THE WHOLE THING." "HETTY MUSKRAT, YOU STOP TRYING TO SWEET-TALK ME INTO THIS!" "THIS IS THE FENCE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MEND?" "WELL..." "YEAH." "THAT'S NOT REPAIRING, THAT'S REBUILDING." "DON'T JUST STAND AROUND, BOYS." "YA GOT WORK TO DO." "( Banjo )" "( Thinking ) JUST ONCE I'D LIKE TO GIVE" "A FINE STORE-BOUGHT PRESENT TO EMMET FOR CHRISTMAS." "AND WITH $50... ( Tap!" "Tap!" "Tap... ) ( Thinking ) I'VE NEVER GIVEN MA A NICE CHRISTMAS PRESENT." "NEVER GAVE ONE TO PA, EITHER..." "AND..." "NOW IT'S TOO LATE." "HARVEY SAYS $50 SPLIT FOUR WAYS IS $12.50." "LOTTA MONEY." "THAT GUITAR WE SAW IN TOWN..." "THE ONE WITH THE MOTHER-OF-PEARL INLAYS..." "EMMET REALLYWANTS IT." "BUT...$40!" "I CAN'T BUY A PIANO FOR $12.50 ANYWAY..." "BUT YOU COULDPUT A DOWN PAYMENT ON A USED ONE." "BUT IF I DO ENTER, I GOTTA HAVE A COSTUME." "AND TO BUY A COSTUME, I'D HAVE TO HOCK SOMETHING." "HMM..." "NOTHING LEFT TO HOCK." "OF COURSE, THERE'S PA'S OLD TOOL CHEST." "BUT EMMET USES THAT FOR ODD JOBS!" "WE WOULDMAKE A GOOD JUG-BAND..." "BUT TO PUT A HOLE IN MA'S WASHTUB..." "HE SURE WOULD LIKE THAT GUITAR." "NOTHIN' WOULD MAKE HER HAPPIER" "THAN HAVING A GOOD OL' PIANO AGAIN." "I JUST DON'T KNOW..." "( Sigh!" ") I JUST CAN'T DECIDE..." "MA..." "I'M HOME!" "I CUT THE CHRISTMAS BRANCH." "OH, I SEE YOU DID." "WELL, AFTER ALL, TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS EVE" "AND EVEN IF WE DON'T HAVE PRESENTS," "AT LEAST WE CAN HAVE THE BRANCH." "IT'S A NICE ONE, EMMET." "JUST LIKE PA USED TO BRING HOME." "YUP." "EVERY YEAR HE'D GO OUT VOWING" "HE WAS GOING TO BRING HOME AREALWHOLE CHRISTMAS TREE." "HA!" "BUT HE NEVER HAD THE HEART TO DO IT." "AND EVERY YEAR HE'D SAY... ( Big, Deep Voice ) "BECAUSE I DIDN'T CUT IT DOWN,"" ""THE REST OF THAT TREE WILL STILL BE ALIVE IN 100 YEARS."" "( Laughing ) YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU EVEN SOUND LIKE YOUR PA!" "MA, DO YOU SUPPOSE IT'D BE SAFE TO USE PA'S SLIDE NOW?" "OH, I SHOULD THINK SO!" "THE ICE MUST BE SOLID BY THIS TIME." "RACE YA TO HER!" "HEY, WAIT FOR ME NOW..." "FIRST SLIDE OF THE YEAR..." "WHOOPEE!" "( Laughing )" "WOW!" "I FORGOT" "HOW MUCH FUN THAT IS!" "( Laughing ) WELL, STAND BACK!" "IT'S MY TURN!" "WHOOOO!" "( Laughing )" "WOW, WASN'T THAT GREAT?" "IT'S GOOD ENOUGH." "GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHAT?" "GOOD ENOUGH TO DO AGAIN!" "( Laughing )" "HEY, NOW, MY TURN NEXT!" "( Laughing )" "WATCH, EMMET, IT'S MY TURN AGAIN." "( Laughing )" "WHHHEEEEE!" "( Laughing )" "OH, BOY!" "OH, WATCH THIS ONE, MA." "OHHHHHH!" "( Laughing )" "OH, BOY." "THAT OLD SLIDE'S JUST ABOUT THE BEST THING PA EVER BUILT." "YEAH, HE MAY NOT HAVE LEFT US MUCH," "BUT THAT OLD SLIDE IS JUST ABOUT ENOUGH." "GEE, I THINK HE LEFT US A LOT." "WELL, HE LEFT WHAT HE COULD." "PA USED TO SAY," ""A PERSON'S GOT TO TAKE SOME CHANCES" ""OR LIFE WILL NEVER COME TO NOTHIN'."" "HE TOOK HIS CHANCES ON SNAKE OIL." "FACT THAT IT DIDN'T COME TO MUCH HARDLY MATTERS." "PA WOULD HOCK THAT TOOL CHEST." "PA WOULD PUT A HOLE IN THAT WASHTUB." "MA, REMEMBER PA'S FAVORITE SONG?" "HMM..." "WHEN THE MOUNTAIN TOUCHES THE VALLEY" "ALL THE CLOUDS ARE TAUGHT TO FLY." "THUS OUR SOULS SHALL LEAVE THIS LAND MOST PEACEFULLY." "Together:" "THOUGH OUR MINDS BE FILLED WITH QUESTIONS," "IN OUR HEARTS WE'LL UNDERSTAND" "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA." "LIKE A FLOWER THAT HAS BLOSSOMED" "IN THE DRY AND BARREN SAND," "WE ARE BORN AND BORN AGAIN MOST GRACEFULLY." "THUS THE WINDS OF TIME SHALL TAKE US" "WITH A SURE AND STEADY HAND" "Together:" "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA." "PATIENCE, MY BROTHERS, AND PATIENCE, MY SONS," "IN THAT SWEET AND FINAL HOUR" "TRUTH AND JUSTICE WILL BE DONE." "Ma:" "LIKE A BABY WHEN IT IS SLEEPING" "IN ITS LOVING MOTHER'S ARMS" "WHAT A NEWBORN BABY DREAMS IS A MYSTERY," "BUT HIS LIFE WILL FIND A PURPOSE" "AND IN TIME HE'LL UNDERSTAND" "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA," "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE ALMIGHTY SEA." "HOOT!" "HOOT!" "( Music )" "( Music Continues )" "Emmet:" "DEAR MA," "I'LL BE GONE ALL DAY." "I'LL EXPLAIN ABOUT THE WASHTUB WHEN I SEE YOU LATE TONIGHT." "LOVE, EMMET" "Ma:" "DEAR EMMET," "I'LL BE HOME LATE TONIGHT" "AND I'LL EXPLAIN ABOUT THE TOOL CHEST WHEN I SEE YOU." "LOVE, MA." "( Thud!" ")" "( Jug-Band Plays "Bar-B-Que" )" "All:" "WHEN YOU MEET SOMEBODY THAT DON'T LIKE SOUL FOOD" "THEY'VE STILL GOT A SOUL." "AND IT DON'T MEAN THAT YOU'VE GOT NO RHYTHM" "IF YOU DON'T LIKE ROCK AND ROLL." "BUT IF YOUR TASTE'S LIKE MINE," "YOU LIKE CIDER, NOT WINE." "AND YOUR VERY FAVORITE THING TO DO" "IS GET A PRETTY GIRL DANCIN'" "TO JUG-BAND MUSIC" "AND A MESS OF MAMA'S BAR-B-QUE." "BAR-B-QUE..." "LIFTS MY SPIRIT." "I SWEAR IT NEVER FAILS." "AND THE SAUCE MAMA MAKES JUST STAYS THERE FOREVER" "IF YOU DARE TO GET IT UNDER YOUR NAILS." "WELL, YOU..." "MAY BE POOR, WITH THE WOLF AT YOUR DOOR," "BUT MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING;" "YOU'VE STILL GOT THE SUN AND A RIVER FULL OF FUN" "AND YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE A SONG TO SING." "Emmet:" "SO GET THE FROWN OFF YOUR FACE," "WE'RE GONNA REPLACE IT" "WITH A GRIN AND A DREAM COME TRUE" "WITH A PRETTY GIRL DANCIN'" "TO JUG-BAND MUSIC" "AND A MESS O' MAMA'S BAR-B-QUE." "( Kazoo Solo )" "BAR-B-QUE..." "LIFTS MY SPIRIT." "I" "SWEAR THAT IT NEVER FAILS." "AND THE SAUCE MAMA MAKES JUST STAYS THERE FOREVER" "IF YOU DARE TO GET IT UNDER YOUR NAILS." "SO..." "GET THE..." "FROWN OFF YOUR FACE," "WE'RE GONNA REPLACE IT" "WITH A GRIN AND A DREAM COME TRUE" "WITH A PRETTY GIRL DANCIN'" "TO JUG-BAND MUSIC" "AND A MESS O' MAMA'S BAR-B-QUE." "THAT'S A PRETTY GIRL DANCIN'" "TO JUG-BAND MUSIC" "AND A MESS O' MAMA'S BAR-B..." "MESS O' MAMA'S BAR-B..." "MESS O' MAMA'S BAR-B-QUE." "A MESS O' MAMA'S BAR-B-QUE!" "OH, BOY!" "THAT WAS FUN!" "OH, WOW!" "THAT WASI CA FANTASTIC!" "N FEEL THE PRIZE MONEY IN MY POCKET." "REALLY?" "!" "WE SOUND GREAT!" "WELL, WE SOUND FAIR." "LET'S DO IT AGAIN." "GEE, HAVEN'T WE DONE IT ENOUGH." "YEAH, WE'VE DONE IT ALL AFTERNOON." "WELL, LET'S DO IT SOME MORE." "I PUT A HOLE IN MA'S WASHTUB FOR THIS CONTEST" "AND..." "WE GOTTA WIN!" "NOW HERE WE GO." "GEE..." "MR. BIG-TIME CONDUCTOR." "ARE YOU READY, HARVEY?" "SURE, SURE." "( Jug-Band Music )" "THANKS FOR LETTING ME COME OVER" "AND USE YOUR SEWING MACHINE, HETTY." "I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT." "YOU ACTUALLY TOOK THAT TOOL CHEST" "AND HOCKED IT TO BUY DRESS FABRIC." "I HAD TO!" "I'VE GOT TO WEAR SOMETHING FOR THE CONTEST, DON'T I?" "BESIDES, WHEN I WIN," "I'LL HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO UNHOCK IT." "WHAT IF YOU DON'T WIN?" "GOT TO WIN." "EMMET IS GOING TO HAVE" "A GUITAR WITH MOTHER-OF-PEARL INLAY THIS CHRISTMAS!" "UMM, WHATEVER YOU SAY, ALICE." "( Sewing Machine Whirrs )" "WELL, WE BETTER HEAD FOR WATERVILLE." "I'D LIKE TO BE THERE EARLY FOR THE CONTEST." "BOY, I KNOW WE'RE GONNA WIN!" "I JUST KNOW IT!" "HE ( Engines Revving )" "Y, FELLAS, DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?" "SOUNDS LIKE A CAR OR A MOTORCYCLE." "( Engines Revving Loudly )" "( Engine Backfires )" "HE" "Y, WHO ARE THOSE GUYS?" "I THINK THEY'RE FROM RIVERBOTTOM." "LOOK AT THE BIRDS UP IN THE TREES." "YEAH?" "WELL, WE'RE NOT BIRDS!" "WE'RE A JUG-BAND." "YEAH, PRACTICING FOR THE TALENT CONTEST." "OH, SURE!" "THEY'REGONNA WIN THE TALENT CONTEST," "RIGHT, BOSS?" "!" "( Laughter )" "SHUT UP!" "( Engines Rev and Backfire )" "COME ON, EVERYBODY, LET'S GO." "HERE WE GO!" "COME ON!" "WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" "( Music )" "( Excited Chatter )" "Mayor Fox:" "CONTESTANTS!" "CONTESTANTS!" "I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO GO TO YOUR DRESSING ROOMS NOW, PLEASE," "IF YOU WOULD." "ALL LADIES OVER HERE TO THE LEFT..." "AND MEN TO THE RIGHT, PLEASE." "UH, MISS, TO THE LEFT HERE..." "AND, UH..." "BOYS, YES, OVER THERE TO THE RIGHT." "UH, LADIES TO THE LEFT..." "WHAT?" "!" "AND MEN TO THE RIGHT." "OH!" "( Ripping!" ")" "SORRY, DEAR." "OH..." "OH." "SEE YOU LATER, NAT." "SORRY TO SPLIT YOU UP LIKE THAT." "PARDON ME..." "UH, IS THIS THE, UH, TALENT CONTEST?" "YES, IT IS;" "YOUR DRESSING ROOM IS RIGHT OVER THERE." "OH, THANK YOU." "I'M VERY NICE TO HAVE HELPED YOU." "OH, IMEAN,I'M VERY NICE YOU'VE..." "EXCUSE ME!" "YOU'RE TERRIBLY NERVOUS!" "( Crash!" ")" "SORRY!" "WELL, GUYS, THIS IS THE COMPETITION." "( Excited Chatter )" "I TELL YOU, IT'S A SNAP." "TWO QUICK CHORUSES OF "BAR-B-QUE"" "AND THE MONEY IS OURS." "QUIET!" "IT'S STARTING!" "THE SHOW IS STARTING!" "( Sigh!" ")" "OKAY, WILL, STAND BY ON THE HOUSELIGHTS..." "DIM THE HOUSELIGHTS." "AND FADE UP ON THE SPOTLIGHTS." "( Applause ) ( Piano Intro )" "THANK YOU, THANK YOU." "WELCOME TO WATERVILLE'S FIRST ANNUAL CHRISTMAS TALENT CONTEST." "( Piano )" "AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW," "I AM HARRISON FOX, MAYOR OF WATERVILLE." "AND FIRST OFF," "LET ME INTRODUCE OUR JUDGES FOR TONIGHT." "NOW RIGHT DOWN IN THE FRONT ROW..." "WE HAVE JAMES BADGER," "MY LOVELY WIFE, GRETCHEN," "AND THIS YEAR'S CHAIRMAN OF THE JUDGES," "THE OWNER OF THE RIVERSIDE REST," "WATERVILLE'S FAVORITE CAFE AND NIGHTSPOT..." "DOC BULLFROG!" "( Applause )" "AND RIGHT NOW LET'S GET THINGS STARTED WITH, UH," "SHIRLEY AND NAT MUSKRAT AS..." ""CARROTS, THE DANCING HORSE!"" "( Vaudeville Dance Tune )" "( Thud!" ")" "( Laughter )" "WELL, IF THE ACTS DON'T GET BETTER THAN THAT," "WE'VE GOT NO TROUBLE." "AND NOW, MR. YANCY WOODCHUCK" "TO SING FOR YOU THE EVER-POPULAR "BAR-B-QUE."" "( Applause )" ""BAR-B-QUE?" "!" BUT THAT'S OUR SONG!" "( "Bar-B-Que" )" "WHEN YOU MEET SOMEBODY THAT DON'T LIKE SOUL FOOD" "THEY'VE STILL GOT A SOUL." "AND IT DON'T MEAN THAT YOU'VE GOT NO RHYTHM" "IF YOU DON'T LIKE ROCK AND ROLL..." "WE CAN'T SING THE SONG AFTER HE'S DONE IT." "PEOPLE WILL THINK WE'RE COPYING." "YEAH, WE'RE REALLY GONNA LOSE NOW." "NO, WE AREN'T!" "COME ON!" "WHERE ARE WE GOING?" "OUT IN THE ALLEY." "WE'RE NOT ON FOR A WHILE YET." "WE GOTTA REHEARSE A NEW SONG!" "...AND THE SAUCE MAMA MAKES JUST STAYS THERE FOREVER" "IF YOU DARE TO GET IT UNDER YOUR NAILS." "BAR-B-QUE." "( Laughing )" "( Applause ) THANK YOU!" "Mayor Fox:" "WELCOME, IF YOU WILL, GEORGE AND MELISSA RABBIT!" "( Can-Can Tune )" "( Can-Can Continues )" "( Sigh!" ")" "WELL" ", IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG NIGHT." "YOU THERE..." "AREN'T YOU IN THIS CONTEST?" "YOU GET IN HERE THIS MINUTE!" "YOU MIGHT MISS YOUR ENTRANCE" "AND WE WANT THIS SHOW TO LOOK PROFESSIONAL!" "( Music )" "WONDERFUL!" "MARVELOUS!" "( Applause )" "WONDERFUL!" "OH!" "OH!" "OH!" "AND NOW, WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT" "ONE OF OUR OWN TRADITIONAL SONGS OF THE RIVER..." "RENDERED BY A DEAR LITTLE LADY..." "ALICE OTTER!" "( Applause )" "( "Our World" )" "WE'RE CLOSER NOW THAN EVER BEFORE." "THERE'S LOVE IN OUR WORLD AND WE'RE SHOWING IT MORE." "OUR WORLD SAYS," ""WELCOME STRANGER, EVERYBODY'S A FRIEND."" "FAVORITE STORIES DON'T END IN OUR WORLD..." "IT'S MA!" "YEAH, AN" "D SHE'S BETTER'N WE ARE." "...SOME SAY OUR WORLD IS GETTING TOO SMALL." "I SAY WITH KINDNESS THERE'S ROOM FOR US ALL." "OUR WORLD IS ALWAYS CHANGING" "EVERY DAY'S A SURPRISE." "LOVE CAN OPEN YOUR EYES IN OUR WORLD." "WHEN NIGHT LAYS SAD UPON YOU," "GO WATCH A SIMPLE SUNRISE." "LOVE CAN OPEN YOUR EYES" "IN OUR WORLD." "( Cheers  Applause )" "MA, YOU WERE FANTASTIC!" "WAS I ALL RIGHT?" "THEY SEEMED TO LIKE ME." "MA, YOU WERE THE BEST, HANDS DOWN!" "YOU'VE GOT THIS CONTEST WON!" "WAIT A MINUTE..." "EMMET, WHAT ARE YOUDOING HERE?" "WELL, ME'N THE GUYS HAVE ORGANIZED A JUG-BAND." "HEY, HEY, EMMET..." "THE MAYOR'S INTRODUCING US!" "UH-OH!" "COME ON!" "...FOUR YOUNG LADS WHOM I'M SURE YOU'LL ENJOY." "THEY CALL THEMSELVES" "THE FROGTOWN HOLLOW JUBILEE JUG-BAND!" "( Applause )" "( "Brothers" )" "HOW MUCH ALIKE WE ARE," "PERHAPS WE'RE LONG-LOST BROTHERS." "WE EVEN THINK THE SAME." "YOU KNOW, THERE MAY BE OTHERS." "WE CAN ALWAYS USE A FRIEND." "THIS FAMILY JUST KEEPS GROWING," "THIS FAMILY DOESN'T HAVE TO END." "( Puff!" "Puff!" "Puff!" "Puff!" ")" "BROTHERS..." "BROTHERS..." "SO MANY THINGS TO LEARN" "BUT WE'LL ENJOY EACH LESSON." "PROBLEMS DON'T WORRY US" "WHEN HALF THE FUN IS GUESSIN'." "LIVE A LIFETIME OF SURPRISE." "WE'LL ALL BECOME MAGICIANS" "AND LEAVE THE WONDER IN THEIR EYES." "(" "Puff!" "Puff!" "Puff!" "Puff!" ")" "BROTHERS..." "BROTHERS... ( Cheers  Applause )" "BOYS, YOU WERE WONDERFUL!" "DID IT SOUND ALL RIGHT, MA?" "YOU WERE BETTER THAN BEST!" "YOU'RE CERTAIN TO WIN!" "WELL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN," "THATWASTO HAVE BEEN OUR LAST ACT." "NORMALLY WE WOULDN'T ALLOW ANY LAST-MINUTE ENTRIES," "BUT THESE KIDS HAVE COME A LONG WAY..." "ALL THE WAY FROM RIVERBOTTOM!" "YES, THESE RIVERBOTTOM BOYS..." "COME ON, LET'S CLEAR A WAY NOW, HUH?" "COME ON, CLEAR IT OUT!" "WHERE DO YOU WANT THIS STUFF?" "YEAH, HOW ABOUT THAT RIGHT THERE, HUH?" "YEAH, THAT'S GOOD." "Mayor Fox:" "SO LET'S WELCOME, PLEASE, TONIGHT'S LAST CONTESTANTS..." "HERE THEY ARE," "THE ROCK GROUP KNOWN AS "THE NIGHTMARE!"" "( Heavy Metal )" "Together:" "WE TAKE WHAT WE WANT." "WE DO ANYTHING THAT WE WISH." "WE GOT NO RESPECT FOR ANIMAL, BIRDIE OR FISH." "THE GRASS DOES NOT GROW" "ON THE PLACES WHERE WE STOP AND STAND." "RIVER BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND!" "( Musical Interlude )" "WE KNOW WE'RE A MESS." "OUR TYPE DOES NOT LIKE TO BE CLEAN." "NO, NO, NO, NO..." "WE DON'T BRUSH OUR TEETH" "'CAUSE OUR TOOTHACHE CAN HELP US STAY MEAN." "YEAHHHH!" "WE DON'T WISH TO LEARN" "BUT WE HATE WHAT WE DON'T UNDERSTAND." "RIVER BOTTOM!" "WHEN YOU SEE US COMIN', YOU BETTER START A-RUNNIN'." "WE'RE ALWAYS STARTIN' TROUBLE" "AND WE'RE HAPPIEST WHEN THINGS ARE OUT OF HAND." "OOH!" "AHH!" "OOH!" "AHHHHH!" "TEMPERS ARE FOR BOILIN', PARTIES ARE FOR SPOILIN'" "WE EITHER LIKE TO SIT AND POUT" "OR ELSE GO OUT AND TERRORIZE THE LAND." "OOH-HOO-HOO!" "RIVER BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND!" "( Music )" "AHHHHH!" "WE LAUGH IN YOUR FACE" "OR WE PRACTICE OUR GROWL AND OUR SNEER." "YEAHHHH!" "WE BREAK UP YOUR PLACE;" "WE ARE DANGEROUS WHEN WE ARE NEAR." "AND WHEN WE ARE DONE WITH OUR SONG" "WHO WILL GET THE BIGGEST HAND?" "WHO?" "RIVER BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND!" "RIVER BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND!" "WHA-HAA!" "OOOHHH!" "( Musical Flourish )" "( Cheers  Applause )" "AND SO THE WINNER" "OF OUR FIRST ANNUAL TALENT CONTEST IS..." "THE NIGHTMARE!" "( Applause )" "EMMET..." "I HOCKED THE TOOL CHEST" "TO GET THE MATERIAL FOR MY COSTUME." "OH?" "OH..." "WELL, YOU CAN SEE WHAT I DID TO YOUR WASHTUB." "YEP." "EVENING, MRS. OTTER..." "EVENING, BOYS." "( Murmur Greetings )" "I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW" "THAT THE JUDGES WERE IMPRESSED BY BOTH OF YOUR ACTS." "THEY JUST NEEDED..." "WELL, THAT LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA." "KEEP WORKING ON IT." "YES, SIR." "WELL, GOTTA BE GETTIN' TO WORK;" "THE RESTAURANT'S BUSY TONIGHT." "AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!" "MERRY CHRISTMAS, SIR." "( Heavy Sigh )" "WELL, BOYS..." "LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE CLOSING THINGS DOWN." "BETTER HEAD FOR THE RIVER." "QUICKER TO GET HOME IF WE WALK ON THE ICE." "YOU KNOW, EMMET..." "IF I'D HAVE WON THAT CONTEST," "I'D HAVE GIVEN YOU THAT GUITAR" "WITH THE MOTHER-OF-PEARL INLAYS." "WOULD YA REALLY?" "MM-HMM." "GOSH, I WAS GONNA GET A PIANO FOR YOU." "A PIANO?" "WERE YOU REALLY?" "YES'M." "OH, EMMET," "THAT'S ABOUT THE NICEST PRESENT" "ANYBODY EVER TRIED TO GIVE ME." "YOU KNOW, EMMET..." "I GUESS I SHOULD FEEL PRETTY BAD." "BUT THE FUNNY THING IS THAT I DON'T." "I FEEL PRETTY GOOD." "SO DO I..." "I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I DO." "I GUESS IT'S 'CAUSE WE DID" "JUST WHAT PA WOULDA DONE." "( "Snow on the Rooftop" )" "Ma:" "MIGHTY NICE KAZOO BLOWING, HARVEY." "YEAH, IT WAS A GREAT-SOUNDIN' SONG." "WE SHOULDA WON." "WELL, IT JUST DIDN'T TURN OUT THAT WAY." "I THOUGHT MA'S SONG WAS NICE, TOO." "HMM..." "I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT OLD SONG IN YEARS." "BUT WHEN I DID, IT JUST FELT RIGHT." "( Humming with Kazoo )" "SAY..." "THOSE TWO SONGS COULD FIT TOGETHER." "HOW DO YOU MEAN, MA?" "UH, HERE." "BOYS, BOYS..." "I'M GONNA START SINGING MY SONG," "AND YOU COME IN SINGIN' YOURS WHEN I SHOW YOU, OKAY?" "OKAY." "YEAH." "WE'RE CLOSER NOW THAN EVER BEFORE." "HOW MUCH ALIKE WE ARE." "PERHAPS WE'RE LONG, LOST BROTHERS." "THERE'S LOVE IN OUR WORLD AND WE'RE SHOWING IT MORE." "WE EVEN THINK THE SAME," "YOU KNOW, THERE MAY BE OTHERS." "OUR WORLD SAYS, "WELCOME, STRANGER,"" "EVERYBODY'S A FRIEND." "WE CAN ALWAYS USE A FRIEND." "FAVORITE STORIES DON'T END." "WELCOME, BROTHER..." "Together:" "IN OUR WORLD." "GEE, MA, THAT SOUNDS FINE!" "IT SURE DOES, EMMET." "SOME SAY OUR WORLD IS GETTING TOO SMALL." "SO MANY THINGS TO LEARN," "BUT WE'LL ENJOY EACH LESSON." "I SAY WITH KINDNESS, "THERE'S ROOM FOR US ALL."" "PROBLEMS DON'T WORRY US WHEN HALF THE FUN IS GUESSIN'." "OUR WORLD IS ALWAYS CHANGING," "EVERY DAY'S A SURPRISE." "LIVE A LIFETIME OF SURPRISE." "LOVE CAN OPEN YOUR EYES." "BROTHER, LOOK AROUND." "Together:" "IN OUR WORLD." "WHEN NIGHT LAYS SAD UPON YOU," "GO WATCH A SIMPLE SUNRISE." "SEE WONDER IN YOUR EYES." "LOVE CAN OPEN YOUR EYES." "WELCOME, BROTHER..." "TO OUR WORLD." "( Applause )" "THAT'S FINE MUSIC, FOLKS!" "I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED SOMETHING A LITTLE EXTRA," "BUT IT APPEARS TO ME THAT WHAT YOU NEEDED" "WAS EACH OTHER." "WELL, WE'RE MIGHTY HONORED YOU LIKED IT." "YOU WOULDN'T CONSIDER WORKING AT THE RIVERSIDE REST, WOULD YOU?" "( Excited Chatter )" "Ma:" "NOW, WAIT A MINUTE." "IS THE PAY REGULAR WHEN WE PLAY REGULAR?" "SURE IS." "AND MEALS ARE ON THE HOUSE." "GOODY!" "YOU GOT MASHED POTATOES?" "SURE..." "AND YOU CAN START TONIGHT." "( Group Gasps )" "PEACHY KEEN!" "EMMET, WHAT DO YOU SAY?" "SOUNDS BETTER'N SELLING SNAKE OIL." "WELL, SURE!" "NOBODY WANTS TO OIL A SNAKE THESE DAYS!" "( Jug-Band Begins )" "WE'RE CLOSER NOW THAN EVER BEFORE." "HOW MUCH ALIKE WE ARE." "THERE'S LOVE IN OUR WORLD, WE'RE SHOWING IT MORE." "YOU KNOW, THERE MAY BE OTHERS." "OUR WORLD SAYS, "WELCOME, STRANGER."" "EVERYBODY'S A FRIEND." "FAVORITE STORIES DON'T END." "WELCOME..." "Together:" "TO OUR WORLD." "Ma:" "I SURE ENJOYED OUR FIRST NIGHT'S WORK." "GONNA ENJOY THE REST OF 'EM, TOO." "GONNA LOVE THE MASHED POTATOES!" "LET'S FACE IT, MA." "WE'RE BETTER AT SINGIN' AND PLAYIN'" "THAN WE ARE AT LAUNDRY AND ODD JOBS." "( Chuckles ) YEAH." "YOU KNOW, BOYS, I'D LIKE TO DO A SONG FOR PA," "RIGHT HERE AND NOW." "HE TOOK A CHANCE ON SNAKE OIL" "AND YOU TOOK A CHANCE ON A WASHTUB." "OKAY BY ME, MA." "( Hymn Style ) WHEN THE MOUNTAIN TOUCHES THE VALLEY" "ALL THE CLOUDS ARE TAUGHT TO FLY." "THUS OUR SOUL SHALL LEAVE THIS LAND" "MOST PEACEFULLY." "PEACEFULLY." "THOUGH OUR MINDS BE FILLED WITH QUESTIONS" "IN OUR HEARTS WE'LL UNDERSTAND" "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA." "PATIENCE, MY BROTHERS," "AND PATIENCE, MY SONS." "IN THAT SWEET AND FINAL HOUR," "TRUTH AND JUSTICE WILL BE DONE." "LIKE A BABY WHEN IT IS SLEEPING," "IN ITS LOVING MOTHER'S ARMS," "WHAT A NEWBORN BABY DREAMS IS A MYSTERY." "A MYSTERY." "BUT HIS LIFE WILL FIND A PURPOSE" "AND IN TIME HE'LL UNDERSTAND," "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA," "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE ALMIGHTY SEA." "( Fast Country Style )"