"(woman screaming)" "Subtitles by Aaslund" "Sara, it's a lighter, you cannot use it to kill yourself." "Listen." "It's not like I abhor you and consider you to be despicable creatures." "To me this isn't personal." "But what you're talking about I've heard from a hundred other couples." "So let me repeat:" "There are no compatible personalities." "If you live together, over time  you end up eating off of the other persons personality." "Do yourselves a favour..." "Get a divorce." "End the relationship." "It is purely a mercykilling." "I'm going to do it!" " You can't just leave now!" " The hour is over." "You can book a new appointment with Malin." "Make sure your head doesn't catch fire." "Every morning he wished the door was a window on the twelveth floor." "(door bell)" "Goddamnit!" " Brother." " Sister." " What are you up to?" " I'm alone with someone I despise,  but appreciate more than anyone else." " You mean you're alone?" " Yes." " What can I do for you?" " You're going on a date tomorrow." " Yes." "Unfortunately." " No, it'll be nice." "You need a girlfriend." "What's different now compared to the other 18 blind-dates?" "You've misunderstood the word blind-date." "You can't get wasted on drugs before showing up." "If the alternative is feeling so uncomfortable that you don't show up,  you can." "What's her name?" "Don't know." "I'll check my phonebook." "I've been through that phonebook of yours." "It's lying like a battlefield behind me." "My cats are like my children." "They're so independent." "Trusting." "Just like little kids." "But with a grown up brain." " Is something wrong?" " No, no." "Are you really going to eat carbonara?" "Are you aware of how many calories are in that tiny little..." "I think all the movies of Margaret Olin are just fantastic." "Fantastic." "ln "My body", for example." "How she is using a big canvas to paint a tiny, tiny picture" " describing a very big body." "Dag?" "Dag?" "But..." "Everyone has said they find you very...nice." "I don't want any Adam-and-Eve stuff." "I don't want any Adam-and-Adam either." "If there's noone else in the garden,  you're not going to eat an apple." " It's just because you're so sensitive." "Oh, I have to go." "But hey?" " I love you." " Well, then you're luckily the only one." "Bye." "(music)" "I look at my body as something that is carrying my brain around." "I'm not going to be a rockstar or a writer." "But I don't see that as a negative." "Salieri said about his relationship with Mozart that God had punished him  with the ability to recognize greatness, but not being able to create it." "I disagree." "I enjoy it." "I want to hear every fantastic song and read every good book and love it!" "I want to experience the best, without having to share it with anybody." "I don't hate myself." "I just really want to be alone." "(Knock on the door)" "Goddamnit!" " Benedikt." " Dag." "All is well?" "I just have to sleep here for a couple of hours." " Why?" " I did it." "You did what?" "Hi." "Benedikt Skovrand." "I'm looking for Mia Ballac." "You can relax." "You made it." " Ok." " She's only 4 cm dilated." "It's probably not going to happen for a couple of hours yet." "She's in room 6." "Just go in." "(woman screaming)" "Hello." "Hello, you." "He's an eager little boy, this one." " A little Benedikt." " You can't call him that." "We'll agree on something." " Mia..." " Here it comes..." "Oi, oi, oi." "It's ok." "You're doing great." "Mia, I..." "It's never the right time to say something like this, but..." "I think we've..." " grown apart." " What?" "I just want to do the right thing." "To let you know." "Mia, I think we want different things." "You obviously want kids." "Sorry, Mia." "I'm really sorry." "I..." "I just don't know what..." "Sorry..." "Sorry." "I'll just leave the flowers." "Sorry." "Call me when you get out." "We'll pick it back up then." "You dumb son-of-a-bitch!" "What?" "You're the one who always told me to break it up." "Two years ago, yes!" "When you started sleeping with everything with a pulse." "How stupid can you get?" "I didn't want to give her false hope." "No." "I think you dodged that bullet." "I have to sleep a little." "I can't go home in case the in-laws get there." " You have to talk to her." " She's from a family  full of Serbian butchers." "I'm not going over there now." "No fucking way." "It is strange, really." "You do look fairly normal." "I'm home." " Theo!" " He's in the shower." "Welcome home." "Thanks for lending it to me." "Eva!" "Hi!" " Hi!" " Hi!" " Where have you been?" " I've been everywhere." " Lived the life of a gypsy." " For 10 years?" "Yes." "I brought you this." "Oh!" "Good God!" "Is that what we looked like 10 years ago?" "Is all this yours?" "Yeah." "I guess it is" " What are you doing now?" " I'm a mom." "Working at the pet store." "Yeah, same." "Here we live life as if every day was the middle one." "Hi, Theo." "You couldn't find a bigger towel?" "We have guests." "Relax, Mom." "God!" "Eva?" " You checked him out." " Did I?" " Did you?" "!" " I'm getting all warm now." " That's my son!" " He's good looking." " Fit." "Nice." " If you mean that, you're better off lying." " I can't." " What?" " I can't anymore." " You're kidding now?" "No." "I woke up one moring and I had spent my quota." "What happens if you lie?" "I throw up." "Am I still as pretty as in this picture?" "Oh yeah." "(throwing up)" "Good luck." "Pretty carnations." "Hello." " That went so-so?" " Yep." "Mother-in-law isn't very forgiving, even by Serbian standards." "Blanket and pillow is in the hallway." "I feel that Morten has just given up." "He doesn't do anything at home." "He does it if I ask him to." "If I say:" ""Take that garbage bag that's right in front of your nose."" ""Can you rinse your plate?"" "Then, he does it." "And expects me to pat his back for it." "I've gotten a teenage son." "I've become your mother, Morten." "It's an incredibly sad part to play." "You're probably thinking that you have to be two to tango, and... that it's my responsibility too." "One night last week I tried to ..." "I cooked, we had wine." "I was thinking we could have sex." "We hadn't had sex in a long time." "So I go to bed and wait for him." "Then it's dead quiet." "So I walk around the house. "Where are you?"" "Eventually I go into the garage." "And there he is." "There he is masturbating." "Good." "Very good." "Great start." "Well, Morten?" "What is your problem?" "That I have to listen to this every day." "Have you ever considered splitting up?" "It's a nice thing to live alone once you get used to it." "Just look at what you're doing to each other." "There's nothing about you that can make anyone happy." "This is hell." "Your relationship has gotten CFS." "You work all day." "And at home you're also exhausted." "Go live alone!" "Then you can rinse the dishes until the demons get you." "And you can jerk off in the garage as much as you want." "Questions?" ""It is better to wake up alone and know that you are alone, than to wake up with someone and still be alone." " Liv Ullman" " How did the new spot-lights work?" " I think they were a bit much." "You can change them to 25 watts." " Home to another comfortable night alone?" " No, it's another date." "I know you're doing it for your sister, but how do you actually manage?" " You're not really fond of people." " No, in the words of Pascal:" ""Despite all our misery, holding us down",  "we own within us an indomitable instinct lifting us up."" " Do you have that?" " Me?" "No." "I use valium." "Good bye." "Just stay down." "I'm soon going out again." "Where are you?" "Are you hiding?" "Let's see..." "No." "There you are!" "Aw... were you lonely?" ""I thought you might be hungry?"" "You know..." "Unkel Dag is always a little hungry." ""But only one valium." "Remember you have to work at 9 o'clock tomorrow."" "Ok, the date-shirt?" "You know how this is going to turn out?" "How many have your sister hooked you up with by now?" "15?" " Huh?" " 19." "Oh yeah, that's right, you're a daddy now." "Me?" "Congratulations." "How does it feel?" "We're not sure it's mine yet." "We have to find that out first." " Hi." "Eva." " Hi." "Dag." "I know." "Marianne showed me a picture." "You were holding a giant cod, but I recognize you." "She's trying to portray me as outdoors-y." "Truth is that's the only fish I've ever caught" "The alternative was a silver-wedding in the countryside." " Yeah, I hear that about you." " That I cuddle with cod?" " That you like being alone." " Yes, what does it say in the Christmas oratorium?" ""Loneliness is the biggest community in the world."" "It also says the meek shall be rewarded in heaven." "Maybe not the best printed work to use as a life coach." " Like?" " The most irresponsible thing we can do,  is to live in any other way than as if this is the only life we have." "And instead get a nice surprise if you had it wrong." "You want to skip food and get a drink?" " Yes..." " A small one..." " I've got red wine." " That's nice." "So where did Marianne dig you up from?" "I've seen you before." "Marianne and I were best friends." "Oh yes." "Where have you been since?" "I've been everywhere." "Mostly in Goa." " Goa?" "Really?" " Yes." "You would have noticed if I was lying." " Cheers." " Cheers." "(text message)" "Benedikt!" "These are your things on fire!" "That's what happens when you dump my sister!" "(text message)" "Yes, yes." "Bergesen." "One more to go then." " Are you alive?" " Yes." " But not for long." " That's good." " What happens now?" " I go to bed." "You go to bed." "That works." "This went well, right." "I think so." "Night." "I can sleep with you." "Yeah, but I..." "Hush!" " Seriously." " Hush!" "Are you..?"