"BARNABAS:" "It ís saíd that blood ís thícker than water." "It ís what defines us." "_índs us." "Curses us." "JOSHUA:" "Come, my love." "Let's go." "Come, Barnabas." "_AffNA_AS:" "For some, blood means a Ime of wealth and príyílege." "For others, a Ime of servítude." "WOMAN:" "Angelique, how many times do I have to tell you not to stare at him?" "Remember your place." "BARNABAS:" "When I was but a boy myfather took us to the New World to expand the Collíns famíly empíre." "We brought Englísh índusty to the wílds orMaíne and buílt a _shíng busíness the líkes of whích Ameríca had never seen." "JOSHUA:" "A man should take pride in what he builds." "But remember, Barnabas, family is the only real wealth." "Hm?" "[JOSHUA CHUCKLES]" "BARNABAS:" "As our busíness grew, the town ofCollínsport grew wíth ít and we decíded to put down permanent roots." "We spentthe nem15 years buíldíng our beloyed home:" "CoIIínwood." "But not eyeyone shared ín our famíly's success." "[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]" "Let me hear you say "l love you, Angelique. I want you."" "Angelique I am sory, my dear but you would be hearing a lie." "WOMAN :" "Make the hígh and míghty low" "Arrogant creatures, down you go" "[THUNDER CRACKING]" "[THUNDER CRACKING]" "[THUMP]" "BARNABAS:" "Conyínced my parents' death was no accídent I became obsessed wíth dark magíc and ancíent curses." ""Lo!" "Above the gates of hell he found a single letter." "A letter proclaiming Satan's true name." "Mephistopheles."" "But even then, ín the depths of my gríef, not all was darkness." "For I had found my one true loye." "Promise we'll be together forever." "God as my witness, Josette I swear it." "BARNABAS:" "Of all the servants I could haye spurned all the hearts I could have broken I got the one wíth the secret." "I got the wítch." "ANGELIQUE:" "ffhe doth another choose" "To lend hís heart an eye" "Then magíc shall the slíghted use" "So all he loyes wíll" "Díe" "BARNABAS:" "Caught ín Angelíque's spell my beloved Josette wandered helplessly towards Wídow's Híll where many a despondent soul had leapt to theír death." "Josette!" "Josette!" "Josette." "Help me." "Josette!" "What have you done?" "!" "[GRUNTING]" "BARNABAS:" "Angelíque had cursed me to be a yampíre so that my sMeríng would neyer end." "[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]" "There's the monster." "BARNABAS:" "Resolyed that I would neyer belong to her Angelíque turned the townspeople agaínst me and condemned me to sMer my anguísh alone ín the dark..." "BARNABAS:" "Let me out!" "...ror all tíme." "BARNABAS:" "Let me out, I say!" "Release me!" "Hello." "My name is Maggie Ev" "Hello." "My name is Victoria Winters." "Please, call me Vicm." "So where are you from, Veronica?" "New York." "And it's Victoria." "WOMAN 1 :" ""And it's Victoria." l love this chick, man." "New York's a trip, huh?" "I guess." "MAN:" "What about you?" "What brings a New York girl out to the sticks?" "An old friend." "MAN 1:" "Be cool." "WOMAN:" "Have a nice day." "MAN 2:" "Catch you later." "WOMAN:" "Take it easy, Veronica." "Hello. I'm Victoria Winters." "Congratulations." "I'm here to see Ms. Stoddard about the governess position." "Oh, yeah." "Been expecting you." "Come on." "Sory I didn't grab you down at the station." "Damn wagon's been acting up." "Miss Elizabeth won't spend the money to get her fixed." "VICTORIA:" "It's beautiful." "WILLIE:" "A bitch to dust is what it is." "This place was designed for a sta_ of a hundred." "Now they got a sta_ of me." "Me and Mrs. Johnson." "She's about as useful as a bucket without a bottom." "Still, not evey family has a house like this." "Or a whole town named a_er them." "Come again?" "Collins. "Collinsport."" "Never got that." "Who's that?" "WILLIE:" "Barnaby, maybe." "Something with a "Barn" in it." "One ofthe real important ones from way back." "Back when they were rich, rich people." "ELIZABETH :" "Barnabas." "His name was Barnabas Collins." "And he was the finest man this family ever knew." "Welcome to Collinwood." "You'll have to imagine us on a better day." "The house has some 200 rooms most closed o_to save on heating." "We don't even go in the old wing anymore." "Sit." "There are only seven of us, a_er all." "My daughter, Carolyn, and I." "My brother, Roger, and his son, David." "Willie, who you've met." "Mrs. Johnson and Dr. Ho_man who I suspect is sleeping o_ one of her legenday hangovers." "And where is David's mother, ifyou don't mind my asking?" "Laura was lost at sea when David was 5." "He's had a rather di_icult time accepting her passing." "I brought Dr. Ho_man here to work with him for a month." "That was three years ago." "There are just a few questions, ifyou don't mind that were not on the application." "Of course." "How do you feel about the president?" "Never met him." "The war?" "I don't watch television." "Do you think the sexes should be equal?" "Heavens, no." "Men would become unmanageable." "I think we'll get along just fine, Ms. Winters." "Vicm." "Please, call me Vicm." "[IGGY POP'S "l'M SICK OF YOU" playing over speaker]" "Carolyn." "Carolyn, this is Ms. Winters." "Síck of hangíng around your pad" "You're from New York?" "I am." "What's Manhattan like?" "I'm going to live there when I'm 16." "Carolyn has a fantasy that I'm going to allow this." "And Mother has a fantasy I won't run away if she doesn't." "So you're here to babysit the loony." "What have I told you about using that word?" "I'm here to teach David." "Good luck." "None ofthe others have made it past a week." "Ms. Winters." "Please, call me Vicm." "[DONOVAN'S "SEASON OF THE WITCH" playing over speaker]" "ROGER:" "Chop-chop, Willie, I'm starving." "And God help me if it's another bone-dy pot roast" "Who's this?" "Ms. Winters, this is my brother, Roger." "Roger, Ms. Winters is to be David's new governess." "Please, call me Vicm." "It's nice to meet you." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Nice to meet you." "That ít's strange" "JULIA:" "You're a liar." "I can tell, you know." "Just from a person's face." "Yours says:" ""l might look sweet and innocent, but I have secrets." "Secrets that'll make the hairs on your arms stand straight up."" "Leave her be, Julia." "You're the doctor." "Yeah." "And you're "the nanny," and she's "the bitch."" "How do you ever expect us girls to advance ifwe keep reducing each other to labels?" "So, Vicm, where'd you c--?" "Carolyn!" "Will you please turn that noise down?" "[MUSIC STOPS]" "ELIZABETH :" "David, this is Vicm." "She's going to be your new governess." "DAVID:" "You ruined it!" "I was gonna scare her." "Damn it." "What have I told you about cutting holes in the sheets?" "Those are Egyptian cotton." "I was gonna scare you." "Were you scared?" "Terrified beyond belief." "You don't have to be nice to him just because he's nuts, you know." "Carolyn...." "Carolyn touches herself." "She makes noises like a kitten." "David." "You little shit." "Carolyn." "Enough, both ofyou." "If I may, what is the family business?" "Seafood, Ms. Winters." "We had a large canney in town." "We still own a few fishing boats." "Rusty old boats that no one will hire." "And David's mother's at the bottom with one ofthem." "ELIZABETH :" "Carolyn, go to your room." "Eveybody in this house tiptoes around him, but no one cares how I feel!" "[DOOR SLAMS]" "She didn't die." "She can't." "Enough, David." "Yes, David believes his mother has some kind of cyclical immortality." "Fascinating, really." "I feel her." "She talks to me." "All the time." "Well I think ghosts are lust people who've moved into a slightly di_erent dimension than ours." "And I think some people just have antennas strong enough to pick them up." "There's actually scientific evidence to support" "Thank you, Ms. Winters." "VICTORIA:" "David, you startled me." "Getting ready for Halloween?" "He's coming." "He's coming." "[THUMPING]" "We hit something." "FOREMAN :" "Let's dig it out." "MAN 1:" "Get down here." "What the hell is this?" "MAN 2:" "Think it's a gas main?" "MAN 3:" "Not supposed to be any out here." "You've gotta be shitting me." "Grab me some bolt cutters." "[THUMPING]" "Jesus!" "[MAN 1 SCREAMING]" "FOREMAN :" "Run!" "[SCREAMS]" "[SCREAMING]" "[SCREAMS]" "[SCREAMING]" "I am terribly sory." "You cannot imagine how thirsty I am." "[MAN GRUNTING]" "[MACHINE WHIRRING]" "Mephistopheles." "Show yourself, Satan!" "Mock me not with your strange luminance!" "Curious terrain." "What is this?" "Some specter approaches." "It is the eyes ofthe devil himself, come to drag me to myjudgment." "Have at me, Lucifer." "My soul is prepared!" "[HORN HONKING]" "MAN:" "Asshole!" "mOMEN CHmTERING]" "[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "BARNABAS:" "My beloved Collinwood." "What have they done to you?" "mILLIE MUTTERING]" "[SINGING INDISTINCTLY] I'll keep on drínkíng and trust my" "Hi, pumpkin." "Fear me not, drunkard." "You shall not be harmed so long as you tell me all that I need to know." "Well, here's all you need to know." "See me, derelict." "Look into my eyes and deliver me your innermost thoughts." "[SNORING]" "Awaken." "Well done." "Now, tell me, the Collins family do they endure?" "A-yuh." "There's four ofthem." "Thank heaven." "Pray, what month is it?" "October." "That's why there's pumpkins." "What is the year?" "'l2." "Wait. 'l1." "A-yuh, 19l2." "19l2?" "Hear me, future-dweller." "You shall be my loyal servant until such time as I release you." "So, what first, master?" "You will cleanse me, miscreant." "And then you will take me to these living Collinses you speak of." "Okay." "[DOOR CLOSES]" "BARNABAS:" "Have you ever seen such majesty?" "WILLIE:" "Evey day." "The pe_ect marriage of European elegance and American enterprise." "Nine ofthe finest cra_smen the world will ever know lost digit, limb and life in the process of carving these glorious pillars." "And they all considered it worth the sacrifice, I assure you." "The opulence and complexity ofthis magnificent chandelier should only be found in the palaces of nobility." "The fireplace sculpted entirely ofthe most exquisite Carrara marble _rom Fírenze, Italía each ioint containing a single pearl." "Are you stoned or something?" "They tried stoning me, my dear." "It did not work." "When did they start allowing women ofthe night on estate grounds?" "DAVID:" "Carolyn." "Look." "Ah, yes." "Uncanny, is it not?" "Worth evey hour I spent posing." "Forgive me." "My name is Barnabas Collins." "I'm David Collins." "Are we--?" "Related?" "Distantly, you might say." "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Master David." "Children!" "Get away from that man." "DAVID:" "He says his name is Barnabas Collins." "And I'm prem sure he called me a hooker." "ELIZABETH :" "That'll do, Carolyn." "A word, please." "Ifthis is some kind of ajoke, consider it played." "If it's money you're a_er, I'm afraid you've been misinformed." "But whoever you are, you're not to look at those children again." "Am I clear?" "Your devotion to family is admirable, madam." "And your suspicion..." "[BUZZ] ...understandable." "A stranger arrives claiming to be a distant relation." "The question of motive is to be expected." "As a Collins surely you are aware ofthe darkness that has long plagued our family." "You mean our curse." "Witches, ghosts and vampires." "Myths." "And like so many before you I suppose you're here to rid us ofthem." "For a price, of course." "l can prove that I am di_erent." "Oh?" "Firstly, I do not come seeking money." "Rather, to provide it." "Secondly I know the body ofthis mansion as well as I know my own." "Evey nook eVey COlnel evey secret!" "That's where l keep my macramé." "A disgraceful misuse." "Impressive." "But there are plenty of old houses with hidden doors." "I hope you have a "thirdly."" "Indeed." "Tell me what do you know of Barnabas Collins?" "Just legends, really." "He was confident and strong." "Admired by all." "But he believed our family was cursed and when his parents were killed, he went mad." "Went around insisting that a witch had turned him into a vampire." "And what is known of his death?" "Nothing." "Not that I can think of." "That, madam is because he never died." "mOLF HOWLING]" "I am Barnabas Collins." "That means you're" "A vampire, madam." "Yes." "And most regrettably so." "But more importantly, I am a Collins." "And I give you my word of honor:" "Neither you nor any under this roof need fear my cursed nature." "My father had quite a flair for secret passages and rooms." "[MOUSE SQUEALING]" "As a boy, I took it upon myself to discover each one." "But this one...." "This one was always my favorite." ""Family is the only real wealth," he would o_en remark." "Though clearly he was not opposed to other kinds." "ELIZABETH :" "Oh, my God." "We've been sitting on top of a fortune all these years." "Know this:" "I mean to stay." "I mean to be a part ofthis family again." "On one condition." "Yes." "Promise me that this all ofthis, will remain our secret." "So be it." "Partners." "Welcome home, Barnabas Collins." "I was awakened by a yellow dragon with iron teeth." "Confronted by a giant letter M with the luminance of a thousand lanterns." "He's not staying with us forever, is he?" "DAVID:" "I like him." "Yes, well, I'm sure things are vey di_erent in England." "So, Barnabas, what sort of business are you in back home?" "The Collins family has always been in the fishing business." "But a_er _o centuries of consideration I have decided to devote the entirety of my energies to family." "He means it seemed like _o centuries." "Morning." "Who the hell is this?" "Dr. Ho_man, this is our distant relative, Barnabas Collins." "The Third." "Barnabas Collins Ill is going to stay with us from England." "Barnabas?" "Dr. Julia Ho_man." "My God a woman doctor." "What an age this is." "is he for real?" "I think he's lust tired from his long trip." "I see that you have grown desperate enough to sell o_the prized family silve_are." "How could you tell?" "These are exact replicas." "Had this fork been real silver my hand would have burst into flames upon its slightest touch." "Yes, you mentioned you have a terrible metal allergy." "An_ay, the fishing business is all but gone." "The manor is nearly in ruins." "Well, I have returned." "And in short order, so shall our fortunes." "Huh." "Good luck." "Angie has deals with most ofthe boats in Maine." ""Angie"?" "ELIZABETH:" "Angelbay." "They've taken just about evey port on the East Coast." "Then that is where my work begins." "And with your blessing I shall restore the family business to its former gloy." "Josette." "DAVID:" "That's Vicm." "She believes in ghosts, like me." "VICTORIA:" "Hi." "Enchanted." "Surely you do not let them call you "Vicm."" "A name like Victoria is so beautiful I could not bear to part with a single syllable of it." "Yeah, well money might grow on trees where you're from but it's a little harder to come by here." "Do not concern yourself with my methods." "I should like to see the factoy immediately." "How soon can the horses be ready?" "We don't have horses." "We have a Chevy." "WOMAN :" "Hey, Angie, have a great day!" "MAN 1:" "Morning, Angie!" "BOY:" "Hi, Angie!" "MAN 2:" "Morning!" "MAN:" "One ofthe seamers blew a clutch." "It'll be _o hours before it's back online." "ANGELIQUE:" "Make it an hour." "And start cracking the whip out here." "Eveybody looks like they're moving at half speed today." "Tell you the truth, I think they're a little spooked about what happened last night." "What do you mean?" "Didn't you hear?" "They found 11 workers dead in the woods o_ Route 9 this morning." "ANGELIQUE:" "Well, accidents happen." "It wasn't an accident." "Some maniac ripped their throats out." "Where o_ Route 9?" "[POLICE SIREN WAILING]" "MAN:" "Yeah, Helen, it's me." "Yeah, you heard me right." "It's carnage here." "WILLIE:" "All right!" "I heard you the first 20 times." "Keep your damn panties..." "..." "On." "l'll do my best." "A word with Barnabas Collins, please." "Oh, he's, um...." "Who?" "Oh, I think you know who." "Black hair, handsome features." "Strange clothes covered in fresh blood." "My, we've let this place go to hell, haven't we?" "Right where it belongs." "[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]" "[GASPS]" "You must be Carolyn." "You're líke a hungy tíger" "We're growing into quite the fetching creature." "ELIZABETH :" "Angelique." "Elizabeth." "You're looking well." "And to what do we owe the pleasure?" "I'm here on behalf ofthe town council to welcome our new visitor to Collinsport." "He's asleep, I'm afraid." "During the day?" "How odd." "BARNABAS:" "What was that infernal banging?" "Barnabas, we have a guest." "My apologies, madam." "I have just arisen." "You must think me a fright." "Miss...?" "ANGELIQUE:" "Hello, Barnabas." "My name is Angie Bouchard." "So it is." "Do you know what I would vey much like to do with you?" "I can only imagine." "I would vey much like to have a word in the drawing room." "With your permission, Elizabeth." "Would you excuse us?" "How dare you defile my manor with your noxious--?" "ANGELIQUE:" "Mmm." "It's really you." "How dare you place your wicked lips upon me?" "I remember this place being less depressing." "I also remember the _o of us having a lot offun." "Here..." "[PIANO PLAYS] ...and here." "Have you any idea what you put me through?" "You killed the woman I love and cursed me to be this hideous creature." "Barnabas, get over it." "Locked in a box for 200 years!" "Don't exaggerate, it was only 196." "It was an eternity." "I shall have you tried for witchcra_ and burnt at the stake." "[ANGELIQUE LAUGHS]" "Poor, sweet Barnabas." "Things have changed while you were taking your little nap." "My Angelbay is Collinsport now." "So you are the one who has sent the Collins family business into the abyss." "They love me here." "I'm the only big fish le_ in their little pond." "is that so?" "And do the good people of Collinsport know that their beloved Angie is a whore of Beelzebub?" "Heh." "Do you really think anyone would believe a word you said?" "I've been an upstanding member ofthis community for 200 years in one form or another." "Your name may have changed, but you remain the succubus of Satan." "Harlot ofthe devil." "Vulgar--!" "[BARNABAS SIZZLES]" "The people of Collinsport are my worshippers now." "And to them you're just a stranger who's afraid ofthe sun." "Welcome back to the shadows, Barnabas Collins." "I've missed you." "Angelbay." "The vey audacity ofthe name summons vomit into the recesses of my mouth." "I always knew there was something o_ about Angie." "But a witch?" "Indeed." "But a witch with an impenetrable hatred of me." "Hate?" "No, if she merely hated you, she would've killed you." "A curse takes devotion." "Why must I alone bear the rotten fruit of our cursed family tree?" "My parents, taken." "[SYNTHESIZER PLAYS MELLOW MUSIC]" "My true love, taken." "[SYNTHESIZER PLAYS LONG NOTE]" "And what did you do?" "I attempted to throw myselffrom a cli_." "Tragically, to no avail." "And then I became a vampire and started to kill innocent townspeople." "[SYNTHESIZER PLAYS LONG NOTE]" "[MUSIC STOPS]" "Yes but you also kept the family business afloat and tried to keep the manor from falling apart." "Yes." "Yes, I did, didn't I?" "You fought on, Barnabas." "In your own crazy and miserable way, you fought on until they had to drag you away and lock you in an iron box..." "...to keep you from fighting." "My God, you're right." "You fought on because it's in your blood." "In our blood, madam." "And now you have a chance to fight again." "And fight I shall." "[HAMMER POUNDING]" "[MICE SQUEALING]" "Just the same for you and me" "All I need wíll be míne myou are here I'm on the top ofthe world lookíng down" "What sorcey is this?" "Reveal yourself, tiny songstress!" "[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]" "[YAWNING]" "[BELL RINGING]" "[CAMERAS CLICKING]" "[ROCK PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]" "You want fishermen, you gotta get Silas Clarney first." "He's got the ear of evey captain from Bar Harbor to Boston." "They call him the "Godfather ofthe Grand Banks."" "Excuse me." "Captain Clarney?" "Captain Clarney, I'd like you to meet Barnabas Collins." "Collins?" "And why does a Collins want to talk to me?" "To o_er you a contract." "I have a contract with Angelbay." "And if I told you I could o_er you a better one?" "Then, Mr. Collins, I would tell you to take a long walk o_ a short pier." "There is such a thing as loyalty in our line ofwork." "I see." "Mr. Clarney you have grown rather weay ofworking for Angelbay." "In fact, you would rather sell your soul to Satan than sell another fish to Angelique Bouchard." "Do you understand?" "I understand." "Vey good." "Now ifyou would be so kind as to introduce me to some ofyour fellow captains...." "[DOOR CREAKING] mOLF HOWLING]" "Barnabas?" "Why are you staring into Carolyn's room?" "What is that thing?" "JULIA:" "It's a lamp." "It looks like a pulsating blood urn." "I think it's time I showed you my o_ice, Barnabas." "JULIA:" "Do you know what a psychiatrist is?" "Regrettably, the word is foreign to me." "May I assume it is some species ofAmerican delicacy?" "It's a medical doctor that specializes in disorders ofthe mind." "l'm a psychiatrist." "Hm." "Now, where were you born?" "Liverpool." "Can you describe it for me?" "Filthy." "The air is choked with soot and the streets reek offreshly hurled chamber pots." "The smell of urine permeates the air." "Have you any experience with hypnotism, Barnabas?" "I find it vey useful, yes." "Yes, I agree." "You see sometimes we make up a fantasy world to help us erase horrible memories from our past." "I find hypnotism cuts through all that." "I employ it for other purposes." "May I hypnotize you, Barnabas?" "Madam I do not believe that remotely possi...." "Good." "Now I'd like you to tell me a few things." "A vampire?" "ELIZABETH :" "Keep your voice down." "What on earth are you talking about?" "Oh, spare me." "I had him under hypnosis for hours." "Barnabas?" "There's a point where delusions fail, but his didn't budge." "He told me evemhing including that you've known his secret since he arrived!" "Why didn't you say anything?" "l was protecting the children." "Oh, by letting a vampire use one ofthe guest bedrooms?" "He admitted killing those men at the construction site." "He's a murderer." "He's a Collins and a good man and these days, that's a desperately rare combination." "Oh, yes, I almost forgot, the family that can do no wrong." "You know, Julia, I'm surprised at you." "I'd think a physician like you would find him fascinating." "Well, sure." "Medically, psychologically and physically, he's fascinating." "Which is exactly why I came to you instead ofthe police." "Then be fascinated, Julia." "And ifyou have an ounce of love or respect for this family keep your mouth shut." "CAROLYN:" "I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you." "BARNABAS:" "Do not fear, my child." "I simply seek advice on the art of courting a woman ofthis time." "Land." "And who better to tutor me than a woman ofyour age?" "What is your age, if I may?" "Fi_een." "Fi_een and no husband." "You must put those birthing hips to good use at once lest your womb shrivel up and die." "You're weird." "But do you think me too weird for a woman ofthis land?" "You obviously mean Vicm." "She has the most fertile birthing hips I have ever laid eyes upon." "You're way too weird." "Do you really think so?" "You're all sti_, proper and old-fashioned." "And Victoria is she not proper?" "She likes to pretend she's rock 'n' roll." "She's a Carpenters kind of chick for sure." "Do you mean to say that she has a penchant for woodworkers?" "The Carpenters are musicians, stupid." "Ah, music." "Yes, I'm rather fond ofthe music ofthe day." "[SPEAKING LYRICS] I am a pícker I am a grínner I am a lover" "And I am a sínner I play my musíc" "In the sun" "[HAND SIZZLES] lf only Shakespeare had been as eloquent." "Okay." "Ifyou wanna get with her, you're gonna have to change your approach." "Drop the whole weird Swinging London thing and hang out with a few normal people." "Hmm." "You know what's good about this war, man?" "WOMAN 1:" "What?" "WOMAN 2:" "No way, man." "No, no, no, listen up." "What's good about this war is that it's so bad it's gonna be the last one." "WOMAN 1:" "Yeah." "WOMAN 2:" "The last one." "WOMAN 3:" "And this last war we're in the middle of who wins?" "Peace wins, man." "ALL:" "Yeah." "Peace wins evey war." "ALL:" "Yeah." "WOMAN 1:" "Evey war." "WOMAN 2:" "Yeah." "You speak of peace." "WOMAN 1:" "Yeah." "I have spent the last _o centuries locked in a box..." "MAN 1:" "Whoa." "...staring into the all-consuming void." "The dark shadows of one's soul." "That's heavy, man." "Man, you tripped for _o centuries?" "Indeed." "But with great purpose, methinks." "For I believe that I have found my one true love." "MAN 2:" "Whoa." "Alas, I know not how to win her tender a_ections..." "...for l fear that I am a relic in her eyes." "WOMAN 1:" "Aw." "That's what they say about us." "WOMAN 2:" "Yeah." "Where I'm from the love of a woman is won by giving money to her father." "Or sheep." "And ifthe love is earnest enough then perhaps even a combination ofthe _o." "Women don't care about money or sheep." "WOMAN 1:" "Yeah." "Are you absolutely certain?" "Love." "Chicks dig love, man." "WOMAN 3:" "Yeah." "BARNABAS:" "Yes." "I am reminded of a line from Erich Segal's wonde_ul novel, Loye Stoy." ""Love means never having to say..." "I I ...you are sory." "WOMAN 1 :" "That is so beautiful." "However, please know that it is with sincere regret that I must now kill all ofyou." "Heh." "WOMAN 3:" "Yeah." "[ALL CHUCKLE]" "[ALL SCREAMING]" "JULIA:" "No, it's brilliant." "Theoretically, an_ay." "A series oftransfusions to ty and puri_ your blood." "And my soul with it." "I should warn you, Barnabas, there's a slight chance it won't work." "It isn't exactly the kind ofthing they teach in medical school." "You must have faith, doctor for if a man can become a monster, then a monster can become a man." "But why become a man, Barnabas?" "Why give up the gi_ of eternal youth?" "Look at me." "Evey year I get half as prem and _ice as drunk." "Ifthat is true, madam you must have started as the most beautiful creature that has ever lived." "Uh...." "Barnabas are you aware ofthe concept of doctor-patient confidentiality?" "No." "Perhaps you would be kind enough to enlighten me." "All right." "VICTORIA:" "Barnabas!" "Ah, Victoria." "VICTORIA:" "Mind if I tag along?" "Nothing would make me happier." "You've come down for a stroll?" "Actually, I came down looking for David." "God knows where he's run o_to now." "We'll be lucm ifwe see him before Christmas." "He's a fine lad." "Evey bit as curious and rambunctious as I was." "He idolizes you." "Be_een you and his mother, I can hardly get him to talk about anything else." "You believe him, that he sees her and speaks to her?" "Part of me believes he's a lonely boy looking for comfort." "Part of me believes there are things in this world we don't understand." "Things like magic, death, destiny." "I guess as long as it makes him happy, what does it matter what anyone believes?" "Eloquently put." "MAN 1:" "Maybe we're getting too worked up about this, Angie." "They spruced up the canney and renovated their house." "So what?" "We still hold pink slips on 95 percent ofthe nets dragging the Grand Banks." "MAN 2:" "He's right." "It doesn't mean anything to our bottom line." ""Doesn't mean an_hing"?" "." ""Doesn't mean an_hing"?" "." "My great-great grandmother started Angelbay to show those Collins that they didn't own the water." "That they couldn't look down their entitled noses at us." "The Bouchard women slaved for over _o centuries sacrificing their lives to build this business." "So that means something, gentlemen." "And I'll be damned if I'm gonna see it destroyed by those bastards." "Call and arrange a meeting." "[THE TOKEN'S "THE lion SLEEPS roNIGHr__ playing on _Dlo]" "[HUMMING ALONG TO SONG]" "Sell to you?" "Never." "One cannot put a price on the restoration of a family's honor." "Let me ty." "I had no idea that my business acumen was giving you such spasms." "Hypnotizing fishermen isn't business acumen, Barnabas." "Those are my terms." "Here are my terms:" "Goest thou to hell, and swi_ly, please." "And there may Asmodeus himself suckle from your diseased teat." "Ooh." "No one talks like you anymore, Barnabas." "Yes, indeed." "I must say this age does remain a mystey to me." "Give me one good reason why I should not kill you this instant." "Because I'd kill you ifyou tried." "lmpossible." "That would require mercy." "Instead, you have made me a monster." "We're both monsters, Barnabas." "Just _o big fish in an im-bim pond." "Now, we can either fight until one of us is dead or we can make little fish together." "I'll be honest. I was really angy at you for the first centuy or so." "Sure, it was fun watching your family squirm and burn away like ants under a magni_ing glass." "And yes, it was fun being adored as the Collins name crumbled growing wealthy on the backs oftheir despair." "But lately...." "Lately it's lust been lonely." "We're di_erent from these people, Barnabas." "We're better than they are." "That's why I've missed you." "You're the only ant l couldn't burn." "What is it you want, Angelique?" "Your love." "You do still love me, don't you?" "Somewhere deep down in that cold, un-beating heart." "My dear, even Aphrodite herself could not construct a more odious union." "What if I made you?" "With what, a spell?" "A little doll filled with pins?" "That is not love." "With this." "Oh." "The body you once begged me for." "Mmm." "I must admit, they have not aged a day." "I'm willing to start over, Barnabas." "I'm willing to call a truce ifyou'll just take me." "I am not as I once was." "I could change that." "And if I refuse?" "I'll take evemhing you love starting with that little creature you've been eyeing so fondly." "The one who looks like Josette." "Well, then I suppose strictly in the name of her honor I must now defile your most intimate and womanly segments." "[ANGELIQUE GROANING]" "[BARNABAS GROANING]" "BARNABAS:" "That was a regrettable turn of events." "You didn't seem to regret it." "Yes." "Seems that even in death, I have a weakness for the living flesh." "Especially yours." "What a cold way to describe something so hot." "Perhaps." "But I cannot succumb to your charms ever again." "Please, forgive me." "If I can't have you, my love I'll destroy you." "[INDISTINCT DIALOGUE ON TM" "Five more minutes." "This is a vey silly play." "AwerewoH." "AwerewoM" "Yeah, well, it's the only station we get out here." "How are we doing?" "I do not feel as though I'm becoming more human as yet." "Give it some time." "Time, doctor, I have an unfortunate excess of." "[BREmHING HEAVILY]" "VICTORIA:" "Thís ís my fayoríte doll, called Lucy." "And my favorite bit about Lucy is her crazy, crazy red hair." "I mean, look at her red hair." "And my second favorite bit about her is her nice, shiny, pink bow and...." "VICTORIA:" "No!" "Please!" "Please, no!" "Please!" "Please, I'm begging you!" "Please, don't!" "It's really true!" "Mommy, Daddy, please!" "Mommy!" "Daddy!" "Mommy!" "Please, Daddy!" "Daddy!" "[GASPS]" "Help me." "Help me." "Help you what?" "ELIZABETH :" "A what?" "BARNABAS:" "A ball." "And a most splendid one." "A ball for who?" "For the entire town, of course." "Don't you know the entire town kind of hates us?" "Balls are demonstrations of power." "Balls are how the ruling class remain the ruling class." "Exactly what I've been saying." "This family could use some balls." "Indeed." "And the Collins family have always held the biggest and the most wonde_ul balls." "Jesus, can somebody shut the drapes?" "ROGER:" "You know, Barnabas has a point." "It's about time we threw a little dough around." "Hm?" "Show the peasants that we're back in action." "People don't throw balls anymore, stupid." "BARNABAS:" "Do they not?" "They throw happenings." "And how, pray, does one throw a happening?" "Well first things first, you'll need a mirror ball." "Whatever that is, we shall have it." "And booze, lots of booze." "Carolyn." "We shall have spirits enough to fill a schooner's hull." "And Alice Cooper." "[ROGER SCOFFS] I seem to recall an Alice Cooper from my youth." "Does she reside in Collinsport?" "Not exactly." "Well, she shall be our guest nonetheless." "How do you do?" "Thank you for having us." "Evening." "Good evening." "Welcome to Collinwood." "I have to hand it to you." "This is a happening." "I guess the only thing missing is Alice Cooper." "Perhaps you should go and acquaint yourselfwith the evening's entertainment." "[CROWD CHEERING AND BAND PLAYING __No more mr." "nice Guy__]" "[SINGING] I used to be such a sweet, sweet thíng" "Tíll they got ahold of me I opened doors for líttle old ladíes I helped the blínd to see I got no fríends 'cause they read the papers" "They can't be seen wíth me" "And I'm gettíng real shot down And I'm feelíng mean" "Ugliest woman I've ever seen." "No more Mr. Níce Guy" "No more Mr. clean" "No more Mr. Níce Guy" "They say he's síck He's obscene" "I got no fríends 'cause they read the papers" "BARNABAS:" "Master David." "Where is the female coat attendant?" "My dad's talking to her inside." "BARNABAS:" "Hm." "But he told me to keep eveybody out." "I'm sure he did, David." "And you've done a marvelous job." "But now I would like you to go and watch Alice Cooper with the others." "But my dad said" "Go and watch the Cooper woman." "[COUGHS]" "You were right about this stu_." "Nothing but the best for you, pussycat." "Who was the kid?" "I have no idea. I never saw him before." "Now..." "Mommy, where's Daddy?" "He's been gone for so long." "is he ever coming home?" "[BAND PLAYING __BALLAD of DwIGHr fry__]" "[SINGING] I was gone for 14 days I could'ye been gone for more" "Whatever are you doing outside, my dear?" "You'll catch your death of cold." "I've caught the only thing that matters, Barnabas." "Your eye." "I have withheld my tender a_ections fea_ul that they were unrequited." "I've not spoken of my feelings to another soul." "Right." "You've only spoken of my birthing hips." "Yes, well...." "l don't know why, but for some reason, I feel like I can tell you anything." "It's like I've known you forever." "Yes." "It's almost hypnotic." "Yes." "But, wait, no." "I have used no such trickey to summon your ardor, I assure you." "I don't know what it is. I just know there's always been something pulling me here." "Pulling me to Collinsport." "To you." "Oh, my dear Victoria." "Hath my scent o_ended thee?" "No, no." "I'm sory." "It's lust...." "The people I love haven't always loved me back." "VICTORIA:" "My own famíIysentme away." "Swept me under the rug because ít was easíer than havíng a daughter who was dnerent." "Who was cursed." "Cursed because I saw things other little girls didn't." "They were the lonelíest, most paímul years a chíld could know." "Now, hold still, Maggie." "This will only hurt for a minute." "Aah!" "VIC_O_lA:" "But as hard as they were, I neyer lost my wíll." "The need to feel the sun on myface agaín." "So I set out ín search or a new home." "A new Ime, far awayfrom that paín." "But even in my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd feel as happy as I do now." "To betray one's own kin, and because she possesses a gi_." "No, Victoria." "It is unforgivable." "And your parents deserve to boil in hell's everlasting sulfur." "See my lonely Ime unfold" "Sínce I'ye gone away" "Uh-oh." "Hey." "Hey, you're not invited." "Um...." "Hey." "Uh...." "But" "Sleepíng don't come yey easy ln a straíght, whíte yest" "Should líke to see that líttle chíldren" "She's only 4 years old" "For most of my life, I've wanted a place where l belonged." "A place where l could feel at home again." "Feel loved again." "And I've found that place here at Collinwood." "And here." "BARNABAS:" "We must intensi_ our e_orts." "I have urgent need to be human again." "I can explain." "My God." "You're not using your blood to make me human." "You're using my blood to make yourself immortal." "Yes, but Barnabas, you have a gi_." "It isn't fair to keep it all to yourself." "The Collins family took you in, bestowed their sacred trust upon you." "And you brazenly betray that trust." "I'm sory." "I lust don't want to grow old." "I want to be beautiful again." "l want to live forever, like you." "l'm afraid that is out ofthe question." "A stout man contains some five quarts of blood which, ifyou will forgive the boast I can consume in a mere seven and a half seconds." "But you, my dear little wisp I dare say I shall drink you to a withered husk in less than five." "Please don't kill me." "You're a good man." "You're a gentleman." "Please, forgive me." "Madam." "I am neither good nor gentle, and I do not forgive." "Aah!" "BARNABAS:" "I should tell you, Willie ifyou ever speak a word ofthis to anyone I shall have to kill you in a most unpleasant manner." "WILLIE:" "Don't wory, Mr. B." "I never liked the bitch an_ay." "Come on. I know you're here." "Hey." "Beautiful workmanship, isn't it?" "Hm. I was lust looking for the, uh...." "This?" "[DOOR OPENS]" "There's nothing worth stealing, I'm afraid." "Sadly, Elizabeth uses it for the badminton equipment." "That's what I was looking for." "[ROGER GRUNTING]" "What are you?" "I am about to do something so repellent that it sickens me to my vey core." "I'm going to give you a choice." "What choice?" "Either you remain at Collinwood and devote your evey waking moment to becoming an exemplay father the father David so desperately wants and deserves...." "Or?" "Or you leave with su_icient money to live your thieving, selfish life elsewhere." "Where on earth is Dr. Ho_man when we need her?" "Indeed." "[SOBBING]" "[GASPS]" "[BARNABAS SIZZLING]" "[SNIFFING]" "Barnabas, you're on fire." "[SINGING OVER radio] I'd líke to teach the world to síng I demand that you release me from my curse." "You're late." "What is that?" "The only thing you drink these days." "From where does it come?" "No one you know." "I promise." "I knew it wouldn't be long before you barged in begging me to make you mortal again." "Now that Dr. Ho_man isn't around to give you your little transfusions." "Yes." "Yes, it was a shame she was called away on business so suddenly." "lnteresting. I don't know many people who take business meetings on the bottom ofthe ocean." "She was a liar." "She was stealing my blood." "Aren't we being a smidge hypocritical?" "Lying and stealing blood are things you're rather familiar with." "Yes, I killed Dr. Ho_man and the workmen and those vey nice, unshaven young people." "But know this:" "With each life I take a piece of my wretched soul dies." "For I only kill because I'm compelled to." "Compelled by your witchcra_." "By your curse." "Why have you done this to me?" "It's a shame." "You know, ifyou'd just been smart enough to love me, I would've let her go." "Speak plainly, snake." "I sent your little girlfriend over the cli_s once before." "What makes you think I wouldn't do it again?" "I'm gonna o_er you a business proposal, Barnabas." "My final o_er." "Either you agree to rule this little pond of mine side by side partners and lovers or I put you back in the box." "I have already prepared my counterproposal." "It reads thusly:" "You may strategically place your wonde_ul lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!" "[SNORING]" "Sleepíng _ame, I summon thee" "To yourform return" "Make the níght as bríght as day" "And burn, baby, burn" "mILLIE GRUNTS]" "Wha--?" "I've come to realize shutting you in that box for all eternity might've been a tad harsh." "So here is the deal:" "I'm gonna destroy evemhing you love and you're gonna take some more time to think about us." "See you in a couple centuries, lover boy." "[MAKES KISSING noise]" "Do not dismay, Barnabas." "We shall yet again escape this nightmare." "Perhaps only a few brief decades this time." "[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]" "BARNABAS:" "Oh, hello!" "Hello!" "I hear you!" "Oh, sweet glories be." "Whoever you are, fear not. I will not harm you." "What year is it?" "How many centuries have l--?" "How long has it been?" "It's been 20 minutes." "Young Master David." "How on earth did you know I was imprisoned?" "My mom told me." "You probably think I'm crazy." "Young man, I think nothing ofthe sort." "Uncle Barnabas why do you have ladies' unde_ear on your face?" "Never mind that." "Where is your family?" "Where is Victoria?" "I haven't seen Vicm but eveybody else is in the town watching our canney burn." "We must save them!" "Hury!" "Master David!" "Perhaps you should unchain me first?" "Hank, we need another brigade out of Portland, quick as you can!" "Get these folks out of here!" "All right, eveybody, stand back!" "Please, stand back!" "Oh, boy." "Miss Elizabeth's gonna shit a brick." "Sheri_, we need to talk." "Christ, Angie, I ain't got time for chitchat." "The damned town's burning!" "You don't have time for proofthat the Collins family is harboring a murderer?" "BARNABAS [ON RECORDING]:" "Yes, I kílled Dr. Hoffman and the workmen and those vey níce, unshaven young people." "Well, I'll be damned." "And to think the whole town's named a_er them." "I'd be willing to bet that Barnabas has already skipped town." "And I'd be willing to bet that you'll find the corpses of more of his innocent victims in there!" "The Collins family has rebuilt their business with murder!" "Well, I say, not in my town!" "[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]" "There's one ofthem now!" "He's probably the one who started the fire to cover his boss' tracks." "Time to go." "MAN:" "Where you going?" "mHIMPERING]" "[SCREAMING]" "[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]" "Willie." "What on earth's happened?" "Fire." "Murder." "Angy mob." "Run!" "ELIZABETH :" "David, go inside." "[POLICE SIRENS WAILING]" "SHERIFF:" "Liz I'm sory." "We're gonna have to take you in." "All ofyou." "Bill the Collins family built this town." "We built it with our boats and our nets." "With our sacrifices and our blood." "And this is how you repay us?" "You've been harboring a murderer." "Arrest them." "I shall go willingly to whatever punishment awaits provided no harm befalls my family." "Hold it right there." "BARNABAS:" "And provided Miss Bouchard goes along with me for she is no less a monster than I." "Perhaps it is best ifwe are both destroyed." "[ANGELIQUE GRUNTING]" "Mr. Collins, back o_!" "I'm warning you!" "[GUNSHOTS]" "[CROWD GASPING]" "Go on, slaughter me." "Show them what you are." "No." "I shall show them what we are." "ANGELIQUE:" "Unh!" "WOMAN :" "What's that man done to Angie?" "It's not him, it's her." "She's a witch." "[NECK CRACKING]" "[CROWD GASPING]" "Excuse me." "You gotta get through me first, lady." "[CROWD GASPING AND MURMURING]" "[OVER PA] All right, eveybody, go on home now." "Nothing to see here." "COP:" "Let's move." "You should've loved me, Barnabas." "None ofthis would've happened ifyou'd just loved me." "I should have destroyed you." "You've brought me nothing but misey." "I gave you my heart!" "You have no heart." "You're the curse!" "Women are undone by loving you." "Josette, Dr. Ho_man." "And your beloved Vicm." "I command you to release her from your curse." ""Command"?" "." "You make me sick." "Missed me." "Vulgar, hideous serpent, I shall deliver you to hell's doorstep." "[GROWLING]" "[ROARS]" "Get out of my room!" "Angelique!" "Get out of my house." "Your house?" "mOMAN LAUGHING]" "[ALL LAUGHING]" "[CRACKLING]" "[HISSING]" "Enough trickey." "I worshipped you." "Plagued me." "Adored you!" "BARNABAS:" "Despised you!" "Fine." "If Collins blood built this house then let us bathe in it." "[CRACKLING]" "[STmUE LAUGHING]" "[STmUE LAUGHING]" "[CAROLYN SNARLING]" "Leave us alone." "Carolyn?" "Carolyn, my God." "I'm a werewolf, okay?" "Let's not make a big deal out of it." "Woof." "[CAROLYN GROWLING]" "What have you done to my daughter?" "Well, Liz your pe_ect Collins pedigree lacked a bit of substance so I sent the werewolf who bit Carolyn in her crib." "Just like I made David no better than a bastard when I sent his mommy to the ocean floor to have tea with the tuna." "And as for you, my love I killed your mother and father." "I cursed your family, my Barnabas." "They kept us apart." "They never understood, we're the same." "We're meant to be." "DAVID:" "Leave him alone." "I think I'll kill you first, orphan." "David, get out!" "Your quarrel is with me." "My quarrel is with all ofyou." "I'm warning you." "This is your last chance." "Let us go." "And what will you do if I don't, you little bastard?" "Not me." "My mom." "[SHRIEKING]" "Go!" "David, come on." "Willie, come on." "So this is how it ends." "So quiet as ifyou were asleep." "You know, there was a time when I might have loved you." "We could have spent eternity together." "We still Can." "You never wanted my love." "You wanted to possess me." "No." "I love you, Barnabas." "You cannot love, Angelique." "That is your curse." "[HEART BEmING]" "Take it." "BARNABAS:" "Victoria!" "Victoria!" "She said Widow's Hill." "What do we do now?" "What we've always done." "Endure." "BARNABAS:" "I thought I'd lost you." "You have lost me." "I live in the light, Barnabas." "You live in the shadows." "I'll grow old and die, and you'll live forever." "We will find a way, my love." "There's only one way." "No. I will not see you su_er as I do." "Never." "No!" "Oh, Victoria." "My sweet Victoria." "Victoria." "Josette." "BARNABAS:" "It ís saíd that blood ís thícker than water." "It ís what defines us." "Bínds us." "Curses us." "My name ís Barnabas Collíns and my curse has _nally been broken." "[English" " US" " SDH]"