"Don't tell me about my visa!" "My wife is stuck in that hellhole, and I am getting on that plane!" "It's bad, Joe." "They're evacuating the villages." "The roads are washed out." "We're hearing gunfire now." "Can you -- can you get to Calamar?" "Can you get across the border to Colombia?" "They're putting us on the bus." "I don't know where they're taking us." "Joe?" "Emily?" "!" "Em" "Aaah !" "Aah!" "Emily Darrow was not just a doctor and a credit to the medical profession , she was a healer and a credit to the human race." "Those who knew her were changed by her, inspired by her commitment to give literally everything of herself, which is why we're gathered here today, to celebrate this unique life not so much taken from us as given to us." "From her colleagues at the university to her young patients here in Chicago Memorial's pediatric-oncology ward, she will be sorely missed." "We're told in medical school that the face of an emergency-room doctor is the last thing a lot of people will ever see." "I've tried to keep that in mind when I see those frightened eyes staring out at me." "But I don't know what Emily saw, what image she took with her, if there was a compassionate face or she died in a world of chaos, and that I don't know this haunts me." "The divers saw inside, señor." "There is no one alive." "Then where is she?" "Where's her body?" "We are searching the shoreline and jungle now, but the bus is under 1 0 feet of water." "The river runs at 1 7 miles an hour, señor." "There is nothing you can do." "Por favor, go home." "I'm not going anywhere, not till this is over." "I assure you , señor..." "it's over." "Call me when you have something." "Yes." "" " No vitals, no pulse." "" " Put him in E.R. 3 on the left." "" " What are you doing here?" " l was paged ." "What do we have?" "Wasn't this morning your wife's memorial service?" "There's nothing I can do for her, okay, except keep anyone from joining her." "" " Now, what do we have?" " 6-car pileup." "1 1 injuries -- 4 went over to County, and 6 are coming here." "" " All right, let's go." "" " Watch your back." "All right, stay with me." "How extensive?" "Third degree -- 40% , maybe 50% ." "" " Couldn't tube him?" "" " Airway's crushed ." "Couldn't do a cric." "Pronounce him ." "Hit the windshield ." "All right, that's a blowout fracture." "Get a C.T. Find out what else he's got." "What's this?" "O.D., attempted suicide." "All right, give her to Simon ." "I'm interested in people who want to live tonight." "What's her term?" "She hit the steering wheel ." "How pregnant?" "Anybody know?" "She looks no more than six months to me." "Well , she's souring ." "Let's get it out." "At six months?" "It might have a chance but not in there." "Look at her color." "It's still got a heartbeat." "Let's get it out of there." "This requires a consultation , Joe." "Yeah , and let's order out for pizza while we're at it." "Move!" "There's a procedure in place for terminating a pregnancy, Joe." "I'm not terminating a pregnancy, I'm delivering a baby." "Get prenatal down here now." "It was the right call ." "Delivering a technically unviable fetus by cesarean section without consultation or permission of the mother " "Who was dead ." "Not officially." "The baby's alive, Hugh ." "I'm concerned , Joe." "So is the rest of the staff." "You refused to treat a suicide today." "I passed her on to Simon ." "As though she were unworthy of you ." "Can we discuss this tomorrow?" "Since Emily's death , you have been working around the clock," "2 4-hour shifts, I'm told , 7 days a week." "Think I'm losing my edge?" "Just the opposite -- it's getting too sharp." "You're starting to cut people around here." "You need time off." "You need to grieve." " l need to grieve?" "" " Mm-hmm." "I am serious, Joe." "Take that time off." "Was it you who reported me..." "passing on the suicide?" "How's she doing?" "She's waiting for a bed on the psych ward ." "Why did you do this to me?" "Do what to you?" "Bring me back." "Where were you going?" "Someplace better." "is that right?" "I'll do it again, too." "It's all I want now." "Well , unfortunately, your heart disagrees." "It's waged quite a battle tonight." "No one knows my heart." "Maybe that's why it's still beating ..." "to give somebody a chance to." "Let me tell you about that "better place"" "you think you're going to." "You better be damn sure it's there, 'cause crappy as this place is, it's all there is." "So go ahead , be my guest... but when you never wake up again , don't say I didn't warn you ." "Hi , Father." "Time for a rebuttal?" ""And on her footfall," ""in the rustle of leaves," ""her whisper on the wind , she speaks from a place beyond mortal pain ."" "Hey, look who's here." "Joe!" "" " Hey, you!" "" " Nice timing !" "You're just in time to finish the toast." "Here, pour him a beer." "Linda, can I have another one, please?" "Hey, Joe, "Rachel in Heaven" -- remember that poem, third-year lit class?" "Remember?" "Yeah ." "To Emily." "" " To Emily." "" " Emily." "How are things in the hospital?" "You know, I don't know why we try so hard to save them if they've got such a wonderful place to go like "Rachel in Heaven ."" "Well, that's where Emily is." "You can bet on that." "If anyone deserved to go there, it was her." "" " Hear, hear." "She was the best of us." "" " The best of us." "I don't know what the hell she saw in you, though ." "Lord knows I tried for years to talk her out of it." "She was the best of us, and I have no idea what she saw in me." "She saw the second best of us." "Come on, you guys were a great team." "She was the heart, you were the mind ." "Together, you were unbeatable." "Where are you , Joe?" "Nowhere." "I'm gonna go." "" " Aw, come on , man ." "" " Please, stay." "" " You just got here." "Like you said , Eric, I'm a mind without a heart." "Joe, come on." "Joe, I -- that's not " "Don't leave, Joe." "Buddy, that is not what I meant." "I know you didn't mean that, but you were right on , buddy, and I love you anyway -- all of you ." "Thank you for coming today." "See ya." "Hey, doc." "Hey, Miriam ." "Sorry I missed the service." "I didn't want to cough all over everybody." "Was it nice?" "I guess." "I couldn't handle it." "Well , then you're not gonna do too good with this." "They needed somebody to sign for it." "I didn't want to leave it out in the rain ." "It's a toy company in Texas." "That'll teach her to shop the Internet." "Yeah , that'll teach her." "You'd think a professor of law could be more precise with her language." "It's all right." "You have a good night." "Hey, I saw through the kitchen window" "Bigbird didn't eat again ." "Should he go back to the vet?" "The vet said Bigbird will outlive us all ." "Hey, Joe, it's Hal." "I forgot to tell you -- we are going on that white-water trip." "You got to come, Joe." "Don't leave me alone with these guys." "I sent you a packet, okay?" "" " See you, buddy." "" " Love you." "Sound good , Bigbird?" "Want to go rafting with my old college chums?" "Nice to see you , too." "Why is that funny?" "I just don't picture you with a beak, I guess." "Well, all right." "Well , then just imagine soaring around with me up there, flying ." " lf you do, you're on your own ." "" " Why?" "Because eagles eat bunny rabbits." "I'm a vegetarian ." " ln your next life, too?" "" " Yes." "Do you mean if you got a chance to come back, you'd want to be earthbound again?" "No." "I'll fly around with you up there, but you know what I'm gonna be." "Yeah , but..." "if I'm a bird and you're an insect..." "Yeah?" "How are we gonna..." "you know... youknow?" "We'll just have to do enough of that in this lifetime to make up for the next 1 0." "I'm going because I have to, Joe, because it's who I am , who we are, what we dedicated our lives to." "Oh , for God sakes, Emily, you're pregnant." "We addressed this, Joe, when we first met, that we'd pack our kids in on our backs if we had to to show them what was important, to teach them our values." "It was naive, Emily, all right?" "It was naive." "Our values?" "I'm needed there, Joe, and I'm going ..." "... whetheryouchooseto or not." "So, this thing was a paperweight?" "Yes." "It was a present I gave her for Valentine's Day." "It's got to weigh half a pound , and it was squarely -- l mean squarely -- on the bedside table when I went to sleep." "So what are you saying?" "I don't know." "Nothing , I guess." "Just that..." "dragonflies were sort of her thing , you know, like a personal totem ." "You know, how Indians have buffalo heads or tiger heads or hawks." "Hers was a dragonfly." "She even had this small birthmark on her shoulder that kind of looked like one." "She said her grandfather had one, too, on his -- on his butt." "It's called familial hemangioma." "I once skunked an entire graduating class by putting it on a final exam ." "Dr. Fitzgerald, you have a visitor in the main lobby." "And when she was alive, I had to scour for anything I could find with a dragonfly on it to buy her a present." "Now -- now I see them everywhere." "There was one -- there was one bouncing against my office window yesterday, a real one." "Last night, a package arrived she had bought over the Internet -- a mobile to put on the baby's crib of dragonflies." "And then this thing last night with the paperweight." "You know what I think?" "I think you are literally going buggy living in that house." "Yeah , you should move." "You're rummaging around in an empty nursery." "You're living with a talking parrot who won't even speak to you?" "Never would ." "Never liked me." "Would only talk to Emily." "She even taught it to announce her arrival when she came in the door." "Honey... honey,I 'mhome." "You ought to sell that thing , Joe, get rid of it." "I'm stuck with it." "I promised her I'd keep it forever, and I put a provision in my will that if anything ever happened to me, someone I trusted would take care of it." "Would you?" "Would you?" "Oh , no, it's your promise, buddy, it's not mine." "I need to live up to my promises to her." "That's one thing I need to do." "Okay, fine." "Any other promises that I should know about?" "Just one, but I'm taking care of that one myself, starting ... today." "Hi , Joe." "Hugh ." "I was kind of hoping that you took our conversations seriously." "I did ." "I convinced Joe to take a couple of months off with all that's happened, right, Joe?" "I promised Emily I'd look in on her kids on the oncology ward while she was gone and never did ." "I thought this might be a good day." "After six months, on oncology?" "I'm not sure how many are left, but if it's for Emily, fine." "Asshole." "You should get away, Joe." "Isn't there someplace you can go?" "Dr. Bond to radiology." "Dr. Bond to radiology." "Dr. Johnson to I." "C. U." "Dr. Winston, report to second-floor nurses' station." "Dr. Winston, report to second-floor nurses' station." "Dr. Mace, please call the O.R." "Dr. Mace, please call the O.R." "Joe!" "Joe!" "Joe!" "Joe!" "Joe, can't you hear me?" "!" "Joe!" "Joe!" "All right, hold CPR." "I'm getting nothing." "Continue it." "Shock him at 30." "" " Come on , Jeffrey, hang in there, boy." "" " Keep it going ." "Clear!" "Still nothing." "Charging to 60." "" " Shock him ." "" " Clear!" "Nothing ." "" " Go again ." "" " He's not responding ." "" " There's no pulse at all ." "" " He's not coming back this time." "Damn it, do it again !" "Clear!" "He's gone." "He's got a rhythm ." "He's back!" "Jump on it!" "He's coming back!" "Yes, Jeffrey, yes!" "" " Do you need to be here?" "" " Put that O 2 mask on." "Clear the room , please." "Get me an E .K.G ." "Doctor, you'll have to leave." "Don't let him pull out that I." "V." "Jeffrey?" "Jeffrey, can you hear me?" "How's he look?" "Pupils reactive?" "I just came on." "What happened?" "They're stabilizing him ." "He flatlined , then his heart started again ." "That's our Jeffrey." "His heart's stopped more times than anyone in the history of medical science, I think." "He'll come out of there with all kinds of stories about who he met in the tunnel and what they said ." "Hi , I'm Dr. Darrow from emergency." "I know who you are." "The hospital administrator heard that you got in the way in I .C.U . yesterday and asked to be notified if you came back here again ." "The boy who was being resuscitated last night, um , Jeffrey..." "Reardon ." "Right. ls he -- is he still on the floor?" "Mm-hmm ." "He was one of your wife's favorites." "Actually, that's why I'm here." "I promised I'd look in on her kids, but there don't seem to be many left." "It'd be great if you could give me a little help, maybe not put in that call to the hospital administrator." "Between you and me, doctor, the hospital administrator is -- how do I put it?" " l use the word "asshole."" "That about captures it." "3 1 5." "He's a real trip." "You'll love him ." "Thanks." "Hello." "Hi ." "How's he doing?" "Great." "Nice." "What is it?" "I couldn't say." "Guess." "All right." "A crucifix made of jello?" "Man , you're good ." "He's good ." "He hasn't stopped drawing them since he got out of the I .C.U . yesterday." "So, what is it?" "I don't know." "That's why I'm asking ." "I just woke up thinking about it." "I happened to be in the I." "C. U. yesterday, Jeffrey." "I know." "I saw you in there." "You saw me in there?" "Yeah ." "You came in through the back of the room , standing over my bed ." "You saw me come over to your bed?" "Pretty sure it was you , but the tie was different." "Jeffrey." "Could I ask " "We're not encouraged to discuss these things." "There was a nun on the ward interviewing kids who'd had near-death experiences," "Sister Madeline from chaplain services." "Stirred up all kinds of trouble for the hospital when some of it appeared on a TV tabloid show." "She never even talked to me, and I got the best near-death experiences of anyone." "I'm allowed a coffee break if there's a doctor with him ." "In spite of hospital policy, l-l think they need to talk about it." "You're scheduled for a CAT scan , Jeffrey." "Don't go without me." "So, what are we talking about here, Jeffrey?" "What we shouldn't." "In the I .C.U . yesterday, when I approached your bed , it seemed to me you were pretty -- l was flatlined ." "Exactly." "So how could you look up and see me?" "Couldn't." "" " But you said -- -- l looked down." "" " You looked down?" "" " From the ceiling ." "That's where l was when I saw you ." "Okay." "Don't believe me?" "Should I?" "Ever see that little bald spot on the top of your head?" "Bend down here." "Come on, bend down here." "Yeah , that was you ." "Dr. Barclay..." "Jeffrey, do you know my name?" "You look like a..." "a William to me." "I'm a Joe." "Does it ring a bell?" "Emily's Joe?" "Joe Darrow." "I saw her yesterday, too." "What do you mean , Jeffrey, you saw her?" "She was there." "Where?" "All around me..." "inside the rainbow..." "the mist." "I was falling , falling through it..." "u-until she caught me..." "and brought me back up." "She kind of flew me." "She f-flew me out..." "so I could come back..." "and -- and tell somebody something ." "Tell what, Jeffrey?" "To who?" "Joe." "Tell me what, Jeffrey?" "Tell Joe what?" "It was loud in the rainbow, like thunder in there." "Tell me what, Jeffrey?" "I don't know." "You were calling my name." "Joe." "Joe!" "Joe, can't you hear me?" "!" "Joe!" "All right." "" " Joe!" "" " Jeffrey." "Joe!" "Slow down." "Whoa, whoa." "Look at my eyes." "Look at my eyes." "Just breathe." "Just breathe a little bit, okay?" "What happened?" "I'm fine." "We were " "He wanted to know what happened yesterday." "Oh , his heart stopped again ." "I know." "I was there, actually." "He wanted to know what happened while it was stopped ." "Oh ." "Telling one of his tall tales again , trying to get on TV." "I'm gonna give him a dust mop next time so he can sweep the ceiling while he's up there." "My daddy don't believe me." "He do the bald spot on you?" "Yeah , it's... the- " "It don't work on everybody, just us bald guys, huh?" "Pshew." "Yeah, he got me with that one, too." "Dr. Ritzen, report to second-floor nurses' station." "You had me going there, Jeffrey." "It was the truth." "You don't believe me?" "Dr. Bock to radiology, please." "Dr. Bock to radiology." "What if I do remember... whatshe wants to tell you?" "Then would you believe me?" "Do you remember it?" "If you come back, I might." "Uh, what who wants to tell him?" "His wife -- she wants me to tell him something." "Probably take out the trash , huh?" "Dr. Johnson, call 499." "Dr. Johnson, call 499." "What?" "He even had me believing he saw my bald spot from the ceiling , until I saw a mirror behind my head ." "We can thank mom for those genes, right, dad?" "Well , I hate to burst your bubble, Joe, but I can see your bald spot from here." "Oh , Connie." "I think bald is sexy." "" " Really?" "" " Yes." "I've got a parrot might turn you on ." "Are you still living with that messy thing?" "Joe..." "We're working on our relationship." "is it a talking parrot?" "A listening parrot." "A bird after my own heart." "That's what I do for a living -- listen ." "Really?" "Gwyn's a grief counselor, Joe." "That's why I thought it might be a good idea for you two to meet." "is that right?" "In fact, I've heard a lot of clients talk about the near-death experiences of their loved ones, how they wake up talking about being in a dark tunnel , moving toward the light." "And what's your thought on it?" "I'm just your parrot, Joe." "Just listening ." "I can tell you as an eye surgeon, it's all very simple." "The tunnel is literal tunnel vision , and the white light is the gradual bleaching out of the optic screen ." "As it grows bigger, it would seem like you're moving toward it." "How do you explain their ability to recall what everyone said around their deathbed after they were declared dead , to describe what the doctors were wearing , down to the patterns on their ties?" "It's the way we measure death." "Obviously, the brain is still functioning on some subliminal level , soaking up all the last bits of what's left to hear and see." "That's what you get for having dinner with a family of doctors." "No discussion about floating around on the ceiling ," " no tunnel , no bright lights." " l guess not." "Next thing they're gonna tell us -- there's no tooth fairy." "The funny thing is, I thought I heard him calling out for me -- this kid." "I heard his voice calling "Joe. "" "And when I introduced myself to him, he asked me if I was Emily's Joe." "He said that Emily was trying to reach me." "Do you believe she's trying to reach you , Joe?" "No, counselor, I don't." "I can give you an hour for free." "Bye, Joe." "Do you want me to package up dessert for you?" "Sorry." "Use your phone?" "Excuse me." "I am kind of busy at the moment, yeah ." "Well, isn't there anyone else who can cover for me tonight?" "All right, I understand." "I'll be right over." "I'm sorry." "I'd really like to stay " "No, you wouldn't." "It's too threatening ." "It's about unresolved issues you're not ready to deal with yet." "Guilt, anger toward our loved ones -- that's why we conjure up spirits, from the Virgin Mary to our dearly departed ." "Because we need to talk to them, not the other way around ." "You asked if I thought she was trying to contact me, and I never answered ." "Let me answer now." "She was my ultimate partner, my best friend and lover." "And I miss her beyond belief." "I also know I'm never gonna see her again , not ever." "And I'm just beginning to understand what that means so intensely that I sometimes wish I didn't have to wake up anymore." "And the last thing I need is someone telling me what to feel , or how to feel ." "Anger?" "Yeah ." "Guilt?" "You bet." "But I don't need you crawling up my ass with a flashlight to tell me about it." "Keep going , Joe." "This is what you need ." "I'll drop you a check in the mail ." "Hi ." "Hey." "What's your name?" "Ben ." "I'm Joe, Ben." "I know." "Just admiring your artwork." "What is it?" "She said you should go there." "I'm sorry?" "The lady." "The lady in the picture down the hall ." "She said you'd..." "be coming to see me." "The nurse?" "They said she was a doctor here." "What doctor?" "She wants you to go there." "Go where?" "I'm not -- l'm not sure what you mean , Ben ." "Go where?" "I dreamed of her..." "in the ambulance when I came here." "Then ..." "Isawherpicture in the hall ." "You know, the lady doctor... in the picture of the Easter party, with the cake on her nose." "Are you talking about Dr. Darrow?" "She died , I guess." "And you dreamed of her?" "She wants you to go there." "What do you mean?" "Go where, Ben?" "The rainbow." "That's a rainbow?" "This -- this is a rainbow?" "Have we met before, Ben?" "I don't know." "How do you know who I am?" "She showed me your face." "A picture?" "In my mind ." "She said ..." "I have to come back to tell you to go there." "To a rainbow?" "Yes." "Well , how would I -- how would I do that, Ben?" "" " Christine." "" " Mm-hmm?" "" " The boy in 3 1 2 ." "" " Ben?" "Yes." "Wh-- did he know my wife?" "I don't think so." "I think he just came in two weeks ago." "Yeah, on the 3rd, in a coma." "Septic shock." "Why, Joe?" "Nothing ." "Miriam, d-- t-the first kid -- he -- he calls my name." "I follow him into the I .C.U . , where he flatlines." "All right?" "Dies." "Then when he's resuscitated , says he saw me while he's floating around the ceiling , and that Emily, who he met in a rainbow, sent him back to tell me something ." "Tell you what?" "He doesn't remember." "But the next kid does." "You want jelly?" "I got two kinds." "Are you taking me seriously?" "Yes!" "is strawberry okay?" "What does it matter?" "!" "Do you -- do you hear what I'm telling you?" "!" "I'm just trying to focus on something real here, Joe." "And you think this isn't." "Doesn't sound it so far." "Listen to me, Joe." "After Hannah died , I -- l saw her everywhere." "She told me I'd know she was watching over me if I saw a daisy growing out of the ground with all the petals missing except one." "We used to play "she loves me, she loves me not. "" "And one day, I saw an entire field of one-petaled daisies." "Well , there you go." "How do you explain that?" "I was delusional !" "Well, I'm not, okay?" "I had these conversations." "Aren't you the guy that doesn't believe in Heaven?" "This isn't Heaven ." "This is rainbows." "Oh ." "And she wants you to join her... insidea rainbow." "According to these kids, that's accurate." "Well , according to me, they're putting you on ." "So you think they're lying?" "I'm a lawyer, Joe." "Nothing is real without evidence." "Have you personally had any experience with Emily since her death?" "And if so, has it been documented?" "You know the answer." "Of course I haven't." "And why haven't you?" "Because I haven't gone halfway to Heaven , and she has no way of reaching me!" "It does sound nuts, doesn't it?" "Well , I wouldn't employ you in my hospital if I heard that." "And if I were you, I'd stay away from there." "Isn't there somewhere you can go?" "I could go on a white-water trip." "Just what I've always wanted to see -- white water." "I'll take care of Bigbird." "Get outta here." "Go see white water." "And get your head straight." "Wanna see?" "They were the last things she sent us." "Hmm ." "Sorry to break it to you, pal, but, uh..." "She was cheating on you ." "It's just a bug , Bigbird ..." "attracted to the light." "Let's not get crazy here." "Honey, I'm home." "Honey, I'm home." "Uh !" "Bigbird !" "Bigbird , no!" "Ah !" "" " Hello?" "" " Miriam?" "Joe?" "Miriam , listen to me." "The bird -- it's sick." "I had to leave it." "I'm on my way to the hospital." "Are you okay?" "Actually, I'm not." "I feel ..." "I feel like I'm losing my mind ." "What can I do?" "It was acting like it used to when she'd come home." "I felt like she was there..." "in the house." "Jesus, Joe." "I don't know what to do about the " "The bird?" "l-l'll take care of it." "I'll wake up the vet if I have to." "You just..." "hang in there, okay?" "All right." "Thanks." "is Jeffrey awake?" "Uh, not a good idea right now." "is he in his room?" "Visiting hours aren't until 1 0:00, Joe." "Joe!" "Joe." "Dr. Stanford report to emergency please." "Dr. Martin..." "Joe, there was some talk around here I think you should know about." "Where is he -- Jeffrey?" "He's downstairs, getting blood work." "His nurse -- is she with him?" "Would you just listen to me for a minute, please?" "She said there was a nun on the ward interviewing kids about near-death experiences." "Sister Madeline." "Do you know where she is?" "She's no longer employed here, Joe." "And do you know why?" "Because she overstepped her bounds." "Where is she employed?" "Would -- would chaplain services know?" "Could you leave us alone for a minute?" "Dr. Horner..." "please pick up extension 1 1 7." "Dr. Horner, extension 1 1 7." "What are you doing , Joe?" "You know what I'm doing ." "All right?" "" " You gave me permission ..." "" " To look in on Emily's kids." "That was two days ago, and from what I've heard , you haven't left since." "I told you , I promised my wife " "That you'd upset them?" "Jeffrey's cardiologist saw the readout on his E .K.G ." "from 2:30 yesterday afternoon, and he was damned upset that your visit put him under that kind of stress." "What is going on , Joe?" "The bird's okay." "He will outlive us all ." "I tried to clean up some of the mess in there -- overturned lamp, broken vase." "You didn't have to do all that." "I didn't do all that." "I left some of it..." "to discuss with you ." "That weird picture you told me the kids were drawing, the wiggly cross?" "is it the kids drawing it, Joe?" "Or is it you?" "'Cause if you did this, you need some help." "It's all over the windows, too." "Watch the bird for me, will you?" "Excuse me." "Excuse me, I'm looking for Sister Madeline." " ls that -- " " May I ask what this is about?" "It's personal ." "is that her?" "You'll have to call the office for an appointment." "Excuse me!" "" " Sir." "" " Sister Madeline?" "!" "Sir!" "Sister Madeline?" "!" "Could I speak to you?" "!" "Sir!" "Please?" "!" "Sister Madeline?" "!" "Please, are you Sis" "Please...are you Sister Madeline?" "This is private property." "You are trespassing ." "I know. I tried to call ." "I'm sorry." "Chaplain -- chaplain services only gave me an address." "He'll call the police." "Please." "J-Just five minutes." "You people have done enough damage." "You don't understand !" "You don't!" "No more journalists." "No more interviews." "I'm not a journalist." "I'm a... I'm a doctor." "Head of -- l'm head of emergency services at Chicago Memorial hospital." "Joe Darrow." "" " Emily's Joe?" "" " Yes." "That's why I need to talk to you !" "I need to know about your work." "I've called the police." "I'd advise you to leave." "It's all right." "He's not a journalist." "He's still trespassing." "I'm sorry. I ju" "We agreed to hire Sister Madeline with the understanding that her presence here wouldn't cause any disturbances." "Sister." "Yes, sir." "The police respond quickly." "I'd advise you to leave." "You have business at the school , sir?" "I beg your pardon?" "Step over here, please." "He's at 3rd and Western." "1 480, 1 480." "2 5 on site, too." "1 0-4." "1 380, 6 1." "1 380, 6 1." "Detective for 1 3 Sector 6." "Unit 26...on site." "And I realized that, in an age when no one believes in miracles anymore, I was witnessing miracles every day." "And the pediatric oncology ward was the perfect laboratory to study it -- the near-death experience." "Being kids, they were more open to what happens on the other side." "You're convinced it's not just in their minds?" ""Just in their minds"?" "What we're experiencing right now could be just in your mind ." "You're a doctor because you dreamed of being one, right?" "You ... imaginedthat for yourself." "If we can create this world with what we imagine, why not the next?" "S-So you're saying belief " "Gets us there." "Did Emily believe?" "Because I think she got there." "I believe she's trying to contact me." "Two kids have seen her." "One was flatlined , another in a coma." "In the tunnel?" "In a rainbow..." "trying to tell me something , something urgent." "But I don't know what." "And they -- they..." "they draw this after they've..." "after they've seen her." "Have you ever seen this before?" "No." "I don't know." "Am I -- am I just going nuts?" "As nuts as Christopher Columbus, thinking there was another side to the Earth ." "Talk to an anesthesiologist." "They'll tell you ." "There are 1 00 steps on the ladder of consciousness between being fully alert and being dead." "To put a patient under, they bring them down only to the 1 0th rung." "Beneath that is a descending gray scale, like the depths of an ocean no one has explored ." "It's in those depths, those murky depths, she's finding them -- the children ." "They're her conduit because she knew you'd find your way to them ." "Stay close to them ." "Be with them when they slip away so you can be with them when they first awaken , before the details fade." "One of them will come back with the answer." "Careful, careful." "Okay, let's go." "Watch the back." "" " Release form?" " l'll get it." "" " Thank you ." "" " Thank you ." "" " Take him to 2 1 5?" "" " Yeah ." "" " Down on the right." "" " Careful when you transfer." "Okay, watch your line here." "Hook him up to the ventilator once you get inside." "All right." "I'll get the monitor." "This is Jeanette in nephrology." "I need to speak to Dr. Dickinson, please." "" " Monitors are ready." "" " Dr. Darrow!" "Yes, it is an emergency." "No, I can't hold." "Keep me on the line." "Dr. Dickinson?" "We've got a healthy kidney up here." "Just Dr. Darrow." "Joe." "" " Yeah?" "" " Joe, I'm on my way over to harvest a kidney, and I want you to protect it for me." "Tell me what to do." "All right, they're coming in for other organs, but that kidney is mine." "I want that made clear in case anybody choppers in and tries to grab it." "Stay on top of his vitals." "Don't leave the room and hold off the vultures." "I don't want anybody cutting until I get there." "Consider it done." "Put Jeanette back on the phone, buddy." "I'm 1 0 minutes away." "Jeanette." "Yes, sir." "You're Dickinson?" "Darrow." "They told me not to leave him , but I got to get this monitor over to the recipient." "I'll keep watch in here." "Ventilator's set at 1 6." "That oughta keep the organs fresh ." "Joe..." "Joe." "Come closer." "Dear God ." "We're here from Lakeview." "What room's the donor in?" "2 1 5." "First double doors on your right." "Call air support and tell 'em we'll be right up." "All right." "Guys, we're gonna have to..." "Ooh ." "We're from Lakeview in Lansing ." "We have a heart recipient prepped and ready to go." "You're not supposed to be in here." "Are you Dickinson?" "Get out." "Just get out, please." "Hey, take it easy, doctor." "Get him out of here, all right?" "Get everyone out." "No, no, no, no." "It's okay, Joe." "" " Dickinson said -- " " Dickinson's in the parking structure." "I just spoke to him ." "He said let's move 'em both into surgery." "" " Okay, let's go." "" " Wait!" "Okay?" "!" "Hey, Joe..." " it's all right." " lt's not all right." "He's not ready to be moved ." "Hey, what are we waiting for?" "Come on." "Move him out." "Charlie, wait a second ." "What?" "This man's not dead ." "The brain scan jumped ." "I saw it." "I saw it on the monitor." "Come on , Joe." "It's flat as a pancake." "Come on !" "Let's move him out of here." "Come on ." "Let's go." "Charlie, listen ." "Charlie, there's something going on ." "Don't do this yet." "Don't kill this man ." "Joe, get ahold of yourself." "This man is dead ." "He spoke to me." "" " Joe, please." " l'm telling you ." "Joe, this man could not speak to you ." "It was Emily!" "It was her voice!" "And I'm not crazy!" "Then back off." "" " Don't talk like this." "" " You've got -- you've got to listen to me." "Just listen " "Charlie, just hold off, for one minute." "Leave me alone with him ." "This is nuts, Joe." "" " Come on !" "Get him inside!" "" " Hey!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Easy!" "Easy!" "" " Back off, man!" "" " Get him inside!" "Somebody get security!" "Get him out of here!" "For God's sake, Joe!" "Charlie!" "Get security, will ya?" "!" "Charlie, one fucking minute!" "Get him out of here!" "Joe!" "We need security in 2 South right away." "Please listen to me!" "Listen, I'll run down and get it out of the..." "All right." "" " We're going down ." "" " All right." "I said to him ..." "Thanks for coming down." "You posted bail?" "First offense." "I got it waived ." "I also spoke to the hospital administrator, who's willing to drop all charges if you'll agree to take a lengthy sabbatical ." "I'll bet." "He said you claimed a brain-dead organ donor spoke to you ." "is that true?" "No." "Good." "It was Emily..." "Speaking through him ." "You know, I could almost understand it with the kids, because they all knew her." "I mean , of course they're gonna dream about her." "She was key to their survival ." "Okay, then how about the kid who never even laid eyes on her?" "What kid?" "The kid I told you about in the kitchen ." "The first time he ever met her was in a coma, Miriam , remember?" "I've got his admission records to prove it." "That's evidence, right?" "Isn't that what you wanted?" "She's trying to reach me, and she's becoming desperate." "Why?" "Why desperate, Joe?" "Oh , you don't think she's still alive." "If a kid could see her in a coma, then why couldn't she be trying to communicate from one?" "There were no survivors." "The Venezuelan government searched the jungle for almost a month ." "And never found her." "Exactly." "And that's why we're here tonight, because you never saw her body and never got closure." "Emily's dead , Joe." "That's what this is all about..." "your refusal to accept that." "Look, I understand it." "If I hadn't seen Hannah's body, I wouldn't have believed it, either." "I'd still be waiting for her to come home, just like you are." "You have to end this, Joe." "You gotta do the hard stuff..." "like I did, like everyone does." "You gotta clean out the closets, empty the drawers, and take down the vacancy sign that says "Emily's ghost is welcome here,"" "and get on with your life without her." "All right." "What about that rafting trip?" "What do you mean , what about it?" "Well , anything to get your mind off of this." "So you think I should go?" "Maybe I'll go with you , huh?" "I'm mean with a paddle." "The river's up this time of year." "It's gone from a 2-point difficulty to a 5." "I want us all to go home, go over our river maps." "Note the hazard points, the portages, the waterfalls." "Oh , check out these safari pants." "It says to pack light." "I'm just bringing my thong ." "Well, then, I'm bringing my camera." "Well, it better be disposable, because it's likely that everything's gonna go in the drink." "Not me." "Speaking of drink..." "here's to adventure." "" " Yeah." "" " Adventure." "" " Adventure." "What do you think?" "I think it's an idea whose time has come." "No, I mean -- l mean , do you think it'll sell?" "The agent said it needed a paint job." "Ahh ." "Get what you can and get out." "Leave the memories behind ." "You didn't after Hannah died ." "Yeah , but I didn't have corpses playing ventriloquist with me, either." "I'm gonna miss you , Joe." "I'm gonna miss your waffles." "Would you show it for me..." "if I'm gone for a week?" "I'm taking that white-water trip." "With pleasure." "It's good to see you joining the world again ." "" " Hello." "" " Hal." "Reading the map of the river, there's a symbol -- two wavery lines that crisscross in the middle." "Waterfalls." "Put a big, red circle around those." "We'll have to portage there." "They're too high this time of year." "Joe?" "A rainbow." "Very well ." "Oh ." "You are, uh , the doctor?" "Yes." "Very well ." "How's it going , boy?" "Very well ." "What do we have here?" "is my pilot here?" "That is me " " Victor." "How's it going?" "I take your bags." "You been flying long , Victor?" "Don't worry." "I know how." "You have a license, though , right?" "Sí!" "Pretty much ." "Guanahuapa..." "Guanahuapa -- you've been there?" "Uh , sí " " Guanahuapa." "This is it, right?" "With the waterfall?" "I don't know." "I only been there in the dry season ." "is my interpreter here?" "The Yanomami speak a little Spanish ." "I speak a little Guahibo." "You talk to them through me." "Okay, we go?" "That your girlfriend ..." "in the picture?" "It's my wife." "Used to be." "You come to get her back, huh?" "In a way, I guess." "There was an accident here last spring -- a bus that washed away on the road?" "The Red Cross." "" " The Red Cross." "" " Yes, that's right." "You can probably see it now that the river's not so high ." "It's just up ahead." "It's on the way." "The rock slide took more than just a bus." "It isolated an entire tribe from the outside world ." "Can you see it -- down there?" "Nobody lived." "The Yanomami are still wearing some of their clothing." "And Guanahuapa up ahead ." "Some of the bodies washed out of the bus, down the river, and right into the village." "The guide we are meeting, they work with all the tribes in the area." "Did I mention they don't like outsiders?" "It's a good thing you have me with you ." "I have the, uh , American ." "He wants to go to Poblado." "No, no, no, no." "He's not with the mining company." "" " You want money?" "" " Uh-huh ." "What you want is money?" "Don't fuck with me." "He said ... hecannottake you to the village, but for a price..." "he can take you to their graves." "Señor..." "Yeah?" "Señor..." "Yeah ." "We should go." "They, uh ..." "they wouldn't know, would they, which , uh ..." "body was buried where?" "Look, if the weather gets... anyworse, we don't get out of here, and -- and that's no good for nobody." "Señores..." "Señores, uh ... mywife." "Uh , his wife." "My wife." "Red Cross." "The Red Cross." "Red Cross." "Where?" "" " Where?" "" " Where?" "Does any-- does anybody know where?" "Do you know her?" "Which one?" "Do you know her?" "What are they saying?" "They say they know her." "What's he saying now?" "What's he saying now?" "Okay, well , he says he wants to take you to the village, okay?" "And he says that, no, you need permission ." "They, uh..." "What the hell is he saying?" "I -- l don't know!" "I ..." "Señor!" "Señor, you cannot go into the village!" "It is forbidden!" "Señor!" "Señor!" "Señor, stop!" "Señor!" "We can return with government people, but you must come back with me now." "I said now, señor!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Señor!" "She wants you to go there..." "" " Joe..." "" " Join her..." "" " Joe..." "" " Joe?" "!" "Joe, can't you hear me?" "!" "Joe?" "!" "1 00 steps on the ladder of consciousness." "Go there." "" " No survivors..." "" " Where's her body?" "Think she's still alive." "" " Emily!" "" " Joe?" "!" "Listen to me!" "You are one crazy son of a bitch , you know that?" "You're lucky to be alive, señor." "You were not breathing ." "It's been over an hour." "Get up." "We will cross the river downstream , and with a little bit of luck, we can get to the airstrip before nightfall." "Let's go." "She lived through the bus accident." "She made it to the village." "Yo, you cannot go to the village!" "Stop!" "I cannot go back without you !" "They'll take away my license!" "Stop, señor!" "Señor!" "Señor, stop!" "Don't do this!" "Señor!" "The man said we must have permission !" "I've got permission ." "No one's keeping me out of there." "Please..." "my wife -- did you know her?" "My -- my wife." "Did you know her?" "My wife." "Doctor." "Doctor." "My wife." "My wife." "The waterfall." "She was here." "Come here." "She say..." "they knew her alive." "She came to help them ." "Until the river brought her back... dying." "They could not save her body..." "but they save her soul ." "She said , "Dragonfly."" "I don't know if Emily ever saw her, at least while she was of mind and body, and I don't know how the baby survived -- premature, so small and fragile in the middle of a jungle." "What I do know is that Emily made sure our child found her way into my arms." "What she taught me in life, she taught me in death -- to trust... to have faith." "Because as a friend of mine once said," ""lt's belief that gets us there. "" "* Come, come out and play *" "* We miss your face *" "* And the funny things you say *" "* Be, just be yourself *" "* And nothing else will push you away *" "* And I feel so much love *" "* When it's all mixed up * * lt wraps itself around me *" "* Star, we knew you well *" "* Yeah, all too well *" "* And there's nothin' left to hide *" "* Don't hide *" "* And I feel so much love *" "* When it's all mixed up * * lt wraps itself around me *" "* And you get what you want when you know what you need *" "* And you tag me, I'm it, Ollie O x, and you're free *" "* Let me play on your side, let me be on your team *" "* Let me state my case *" "* Don't go away *" "* Find what you already are *" "* Where it's not too close, but never too far *" "* Don't go too far, too far *" "* And I feel so much love *" "* When it's all mixed up *" "* And wraps itself around me *" "* Me, me *" "* And I feel so much love *" "* So much love *" "* When it's all mixed up * * lt wraps itself around me *" "* And I feel so much love *" "* When it's all mixed up * * lt wraps itself around me * *"