"(mouse squeaks) (penguins chirp) (screeches)" "♪ Adventure time, come on, grab your friends, we'll go to very distant lands. ♪" "♪ With Cake the cat and Fionna the human ♪" "♪ the fun will never end." "It's adventure time!" "♪" "Ugh." "Huh?" "Wha?" "Where am I?" "Gunther?" "(owl hooting) (crickets chirping)" "Gunther?" "I don't think this is Gunther. (humming)" " It's me, Ice King." " Lumpy Space Princess?" " Yeah." " And you're doing this because you like me?" "No." "Ice King, listen." "I'm gonna give you the straight dope." " Okay." " You're weird and old, and you kidnap princesses." " I know." " But I asked you here tonight, because I want to know what you think of this." ""The prince who wanted everything, a Fionna and Cake adventure?"" " Hey, why isn't my name on there?" " I want you to read it because you're their dad." "Please be their dad right now and bring them to life!" "(sighs) Okay." "Might as well, at least until the cops show up." "(clears throat) "Once upon a time, there was a most handsome prince, the future" " king of Lumpy Space, Lumpy Space Prince."" " Where do you want these" " gold-plated sandwiches, your highness?" " By the window!" "No!" "That's not how I sound!" "Read it in a better voice!" "Okay, okay." "Sheesh!" "(english accent) By the window, for from the window shall I shower the poor with presents, as is my altruistic nature." "(laughs) Eat!" "Eat, my children!" "(zoom!" ")" "(zoom!" ") (zip!" "thud!" ") Aah!" " Son!" "Come here at once!" " But all was not perfect for this philanthropic prince of the people." "His parents were slobbering monsters who didn't care that he was a beautiful prince." "They wanted him to be a monster, too." "Why aren't you working on your monster exercises?" " I don't want to be a monster." " Eat these worms!" " No!" " You will eat them!" " I won't eat them." " Sharpen your teeth!" " No!" " Eat these worms!" "Eat those worms and sharpen those teeth!" "No, no, no!" "I've told you hundreds of times that I don't want to be a monster!" "And there is nothing you can do about it!" "(gasps)" "(sparkle!" ") Aah!" "Aah!" "(insects buzzing) Oh!" "Stop it!" "Aah!" "(gasping)" "(coughs) Ugh!" "Where am I?" "(gasps)" "(birds chirping) Who's there?" "Reveal yourself!" "Hmm." "Citizens of this realm, I am the one and only heir to the throne of the Lumpy Space Kingdom." "I mean, I used to be." "I rebelled against my parents, and now I'm a refugee." "What's that?" "You wish to help me?" "I'm touched!" "Fetch me some clothes and I'll pay you handsomely by petting you." "First, I need freaky clothes!" "Cool freaky, not monster freaky." "Oh, yes, and something to read, as well, something mind-blowing." "Oh, wait!" "I also need servants." "Recruit some locals." "They won't mind." "(munch!" ") (hisses) Hmm." "Not bad." "Well done, my child." "Next!" ""Massenpsychologie und ich-analyse."" " That does sound mind-blowing." " Hiya." "Hiya!" "(whoosh!" ") Aha!" "(ting!" ")" "Cake, I'll save the captives." "You take care of those animals." "Yaaah!" "(animals gasp, shriek) Ha!" "Dance, you puppets!" "(squirrel squeaks)" "Ha!" "Ha!" "(ting!" ") Hiya!" " You're free to go, people!" " Whoo!" " Hey, those were my servants." " Hmm?" "What an innocent face." "It shines as if you have done no wrong." " Do you like my freaky clothes?" " I don't care about your clothes." "Hey, you're not supposed to read it like that." " Say it in a nicer way!" " I, uh... "I don't..."" " ...care about your clothes." " You don't?" "(helmet clinks)" "Finally, someone who's not impressed with my noble looks, but admires what's inside of me." " Hmm?" "(crunches)" " Is this really happening?" "Your clothes are so raggedy and soiled, and yet you use them as a napkin." "You care not about your personal appearance, nor hygiene." "Dress me in the fashion of this peasant." "(animal squeaking) (fabric tearing)" "I have much to learn from you, Fionna the human." " How'd he know your name?" " Unh!" " Judo chop!" "Hiya!" "Hiya!" " Hmm, your movements are so free." "My parents only want me to fly like a proper monster, stiff and rigid, with a sharp-toothed scowl permanently in place." "But now I see a new way to move." "Dance with me." "(romantic music plays) (sparkle!" ")" " Y'all seeing those big, floaty faces?" " Pretty." "(gasps) No!" "Release!" "(sighs)" " Ugh!" "What just happened?" " You were under my handsome spell for a moment." "We can never marry, you know." "I can only be with someone who's my equal in every way, a person so much like me that she doesn't even exist." "I don't care, as long as we can hang out." "Anyone want a sandwich?" "Oh, I'll have one." "(creak!" "creak!" ") (thud!" ")" "(gasps) So rustic, so humble." "Delightful!" "(baby coos) (plate clinks)" "Wait." "Where are your baby tables?" "(munching) What?" "!" "(gulps) You don't dip your foods in gold before eating?" "!" "Who eats gold?" "(both munching) (nibbles)" "Great glob!" "What is this?" "!" "So charming, so quaint, so self-reliant!" "Omh!" "(munching)" "(sparkle!" "drip!" ") For years, I've thought only of the needs of my people, but what about me?" "What do I need?" "This poorly made sandwich has enlightened me!" "♪ How pleasant to be living in the present... ♪" "(whoosh!" ") * A peasant eating crud instead of pheasant... *" "♪ Just like this cat and dirty adolescent... to feed!" "♪" "♪ That's all I need..." "I'm fab and fit and fine and firm and able... ♪" "♪ No longer need a baby for a table... ♪" "♪ Can't pin me down with any kind of label... ♪" "♪ I'm freed!" "I'm freed!" "♪" "♪ That's all I need!" "(bird chirps) That's all I need... ♪" "♪ I also need this cup." "Don't bother getting up." "Farewell to fancy friends ♪" "♪ and party platters!" "(glasses clink) I'm happy now, and that ♪" "♪ is all that matters!" "So take my lead!" "♪" "♪ And heed my creed..." "That's all you need!" "That's all you need!" "♪" "What I want is to be like you, Fionna the peasant!" " And I'll need you as my pet, Cake the cat." " Yeah, whatever. (thunder rumbling)" " Huh?" "(grunts)" " Son!" "Flee, noble Fionna, for it is my stupid parents." " And they're fatter than ever!" " Silence!" "Aah!" "I'm just being honest." "Huh?" "Come on, you beautiful dandy." "Only your pierced spirit can defeat your evil family." "(ting!" ") And this sword." "(both growl)" " (hawks) Whoo!" " You're right, Fionna." " This is my destiny." "I do have the power." " Aah!" " Huh?" "Fionna!" " You must obey!" " Ugh!" "My heart!" " Submit, young one." "Become a true monster." " No." "It isn't right." " Silence!" "Ugh!" "Aah!" "(whoosh!" ") (explosion) Oh, Fionna, this is the end for me." "(gasps) But at least I made you proud." " Didn't I?" " I don't care. (gasps)" "My glob, Fionna." "You've been telling me the answer all along." "The only way to defeat parental disapproval is not caring about anything." "♪ I don't care!" "♪" " Aah!" "Aah!" " I don't care!" "lsp!" "(hum!" "zap!" ") (ding!" ")" " (laughs) Cake's helping!" " (microphone squeals) I don't care!" "(loud humming) Thank you, son." "You've freed us from adult mediocrity and fatuousness." "I don't care!" "(sparkle!" ")" "(microphone thuds) Fionna, Cake, both of you, buy me dinner." "Yes, your hotness." ""...and then Lumpy Space Prince became so real that he could actually break through into this plane of existence..." Whoa!" ""...and meet his one true love, Lumpy Space Princess." "It was really happening." "The secret portal began to shake and tremble." (both gasp)" "(rustling) "The countdown began. 10, 9, 8... 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." (rustling continues) (hisses)" "Aah!" "(hisses)"