" There's a strange man in my bedroom." " No." " Mum?" " I'm in town." "Just go home right now." " You're breaking up." " Mum!" "Agh!" "Right, then, I'll be off, unless..." "I don't know..." "You could come with me." " Is it always dangerous?" " Yeah." " How long have I been gone?" " About 12 hours." "I just want to see my mum." " What will you tell her?" " That I've been to the year five billion and only been gone 12 hours?" "No, I'll say I spent the night at Shareen's." "See you later." "Don't you disappear." "I'm back!" "I was with Shareen." "She was all upset again." "Are you in?" "So, how have you been?" "What's that face for?" "It's not the first time I've stayed out all night." " It's you!" " Of course it's me." "Oh, my God." "It's you." "Oh, my God!" "It's not 12 hours, it's 12 months." "You've been gone a whole year." "Sorry." "The hours I've sat here, days and weeks and months, all on my own." "I thought you were dead." "And where were you?" "Travellingl" "What does that mean, travelling?" "That's no sort of answer." "You ask her." "She won't tell me." "Just says travelling." " That's what I was doing." " Your passport's here." "It's one lie after another!" "I meant to phone, I really did." "I just forgot." "You forgot for a year?" "And I am left sitting here." "I just don't believe you." "Why won't you tell me where you've been?" "Actually, it's my fault." "I sort of employed Rose as my companion." " Is this a sexual relationship?" " No!" "Then what is it?" "You waltz in here, all charm and smiles." "The next thing I know, she vanishes off the face of the earth!" "How old are you?" "40?" "45?" "Did you meet on the internet?" "Did you pretend you're a doctor?" " I AM a Doctor." " Stitch this, mate." "Oh!" "Did you think about me at all?" "I did, all the time, but..." "One phone call." "Just to know that you were alive." "I'm sorry." "I really am." "What terrifies me is that you still can't say." "What happened to you, Rose?" "What can be so bad that you can't tell me, sweetheart?" "Where were you?" "I can't tell her." "I can't even begin." "She's never gonna forgive me." "And I missed a year." "Was it good?" " Middling." " You're so useless." "If it's this much trouble, are you gonna stay here?" " I don't know." "I can't do that to her again." " Well, she's not coming with us." "No chance!" " I don't do families." " She slapped you!" "900 years of time and space, then slapped by your mother." " Your face!" " It hurt!" "You're so gay!" "When you say 900 years..." " That's my age." " You're 900 years old?" "Yeah." "My mum was right." "That is one hell of an age gap." "Every conversation with you just goes mental." "There's no one else I can talk to." "I've seen all that stuff up there and I can't say a word." "Aliens and spaceships and things, and..." "I'm the only person on Planet Earth who knows they exist." "Oh, that's just not fair." "Get back." " It's blocked off." " We're miles from the centre." "The city must be gridlocked." "London must be closing down." "I can't believe I'm here to see this." "It's fantastic!" " Did you know about this?" " Nope." " Recognise the ship?" " Nope." " Do you know why it crashed?" " Nope." " I'm so glad I've got you (!" ")" " This is why I travel... to see history happening in front of us." "Let's go and see it." "Forget the traffic." "We've got the Tardis." "One spaceship's enough." "I don't want to shove another one on top." "Yours is a big blue box." "No one's gonna notice." "There'll be all kinds of people watching." "The Tardis stays where it is." " So history's happening and we're stuck here?" " Yes, we are." " It's gotta be Ken Livingstone, ain't it?" " We could always do what everybody else does." "We could watch it on TV." "Big Ben destroyed as a UFO crash-lands in Central London." "Police reinforcements are drafted in to control widespread panic, looting and civil disturbance." "A state of national emergency has been declared." "Tom Hitchinson is at the scene." "The police are urging the public not to panic." "There's a helpline number if you're worried about friends or family." "The military are on the look-out for spaceships." "All flights in North American airspace have been grounded." "The army is sending divers into the wrecked spaceship." "No one knows what they'll find." "The President will address the nation live." "The Secretary General has asked that people watch the skies." " I make him welcome or risk losing you." " Your mother sobbed in my arms." " I cradled her like a child." " I'm trying to listen." "News is just coming in." "Now to Tom at the Embankment." "They've found a body." "It's unconfirmed, but I'm being told that a body has been found of non-terrestrial origins." "It's being brought ashore." "A body has been found inside the wreckage." "Guess who asked me out." "Billy Croot!" "Unconfirmed reports say that the body is of extraterrestrial origin." "An extraordinary event unfolding here in Central London." "The body is being transferred to a secure unit mortuary, whereabouts as yet unknown." "And when you've stuck your fins on, you can cover it in buttercream." "Then ice it any colour you want." "Here's one I made a little bit earlier - your very own spaceship, ready to eat." "We still don't know if it's dead." "Whitehall is denying everything." "The body has been brought to Albion Hospital." "It's the closest to the river." "Go on." "I'm being told that General Asquith is now entering the hospital." "The building's been evacuated." "The patients have been moved onto the streets." "The police won't confirm that an alien body is inside those walls." "Let's have a look, then." "Good God!" " That's real?" "It's not a hoax or a dummy or?" " I've X-rayed the skull." "It's wired up inside like nothing I've ever seen before." "No one could make this up." "We've got experts being flown in." "Until they arrive, get that out of sight." "Excuse me, sir." "I know it's a state of emergency and there's a lot of rumour flying around, but is it true what they're saying about the prime minister?" "Mystery still surrounds the whereabouts of the prime minister." "The opposition are criticising his lack of leadership and..." "Hold on." "That's Joseph Green, MP for Hartley Dale." "He's chairman of the parliamentary commission on the monitoring of sugar standards in exported confectionery... hardly the most important person." "Indra Ganesh, sir, Junior secretary with the MOD." "I'll be your liaison." " Where the hell is he?" " We'll talk upstairs." "Excuse me." "Harriet Jones." "MP for Flydale North." " I'm sorry." "Can't it wait?" " But I did have an appointment at 3.15." "A spaceship crashed in the middle of London." "I think the schedule might have changed." " You've heard about the alien, sir?" " Never mind that." " Where's the prime minister?" " He's disappeared." "With the Cabinet stranded outside London, that makes you acting prime minister." "Oh, Lord!" "Oh, hold on." "Pardon me." "It's just a nervous stomach." "Anyway..." "Margaret Blaine." "She's with Ml5." "I escorted the prime minister from the Cabinet Room to his car." " This is Oliver Charles, transport liaison." " The car's disappeared." "It literally vanished." "Right." "Inside." "Tell me everything." "Er, sir..." "The emergency protocols." "Detailing the actions to be taken in the event of an alien incursion." "Right." "Good." "Blimey!" "Pardon me." "Let's work, eh?" " Where are you going?" " Nowhere." "It's a bit human for me." "History just happened and they're talking about cheap top-up cards." " I'm only off on a wander." " A spaceship landed and you're just wandering?" "Nothing to do with me." "It was a genuine crash-landing." "Angle of descent, smoke." "Perfect." " So?" " So maybe this is it." "The first contact!" "Mankind officially comes into contact with an alien race." "You have to handle this on your own." "The human race will finally grow up." "Just this morning, you were all tiny and small and made of clay." "Now you can expand!" "Celebrate history." "Spend some time with your mum." "Promise you won't disappear?" "Tell you what." "Tardis key." "It's about time you had one." "See you later." "Oi, gorgeous!" "Join the party!" "Oh, my God!" "Wait, Doctor!" "Doctor!" "I bet no one's brought you a coffee." " Thank you." " Pleasure." "You still can't go in." "Damn." "You've seen through my cunning plan." " I'm sorry." "It's just impossible." " Not even for two minutes?" "I don't often walk these corridors." "I'm not a babe, just a faithful backbencher." "I know we've had a brave new world land on our doorstep, and that's wonderful." "Probably wonderful." "Nevertheless, ordinary life keeps ticking away." "I need to enter this paper." "Mr Green, sir, I know you're busy, but could you put this on the next Cabinet agenda?" " What is it?" " Cottage hospitals." "I've worked out a system whereby they do not have to be excluded from centres of excellence." "My mother's in the Flydale Infirmary." "That's my constituency." "Tiny place." "By all the saints, get some perspective, woman!" "I'm busy!" "Shh!" "Agh!" "Defence Plan Delta!" "Come on, move!" " It's alive!" " Spread out." "Tell the perimeter it's a lockdown." " My God." "It's still alive!" " Do it!" "Mick!" "Terry!" "Side rooms, now!" " Clear!" " Front clear!" " Keep it moving!" " Clear!" " I swear it was dead." " Coma, shock, hibernation." "What does it look like?" "It's still here." "Hello!" "Don't shoot!" "What did you do that for?" "It was scared!" "It was scared!" "I've got the White House phoning me because Downing Street won't answer their calls." "We haven't even started the vaccination programme!" " The nations of the world are watching us!" " Well, it has been a bit of a shock." "This is the greatest crisis in modern history and you've done nothing." "You're in charge." "We need positive leadership." "The capital's ground to a halt." "We assume that the prime minister's disappearance is the result of hostile alien action." "And what have you been doing?" "Nothing!" "Sorry." "I thought I was prime minister now." " Only by default." " Oh, that's not fair!" "I've been having such fun." "You think this is fun?" "It's a hoot, this job." "Honestly, it's super!" "Oh, excuse me!" "Oh!" "What's going on here?" " Why hasn't the Cabinet been airlifted in?" " I cancelled it." "They'd only get in the way." "Oh!" "There I go." "And me!" "I'm shaking my booty!" "Sir, under section five of the emergency protocols, it is my duty to relieve you of command." "I'll put this country under martial law if I have to." "Oh, I'm scared (!" ")" "I mean, that's hair-raising." "I mean, literally." "Look!" "I assumed that's what aliens looked like, but you're saying it's a pig from Earth." "More like a mermaid." "Victorian showmen used to draw the crowds by gluing the skull of a cat to a fish and calling it a mermaid." "Now someone's taken a pig, opened up its brain, stuck bits on, put it in that ship and made it dive-bomb." "It must have been terrified." "They've taken this animal and turned it into a joke." "So it's a fake." "A pretend, like the mermaid." "But the technology augmenting its brain is like nothing on Earth." "It's alien." "Aliens are faking aliens." "Why would they do that?" "Doctor?" "Doctor?" " Here's to the Martians!" " To the Martians!" " I was gonna come and see you." " Someone owes Mickey an apology." " I'm sorry." " Not you." "It's not my fault." "Be fair, what was I supposed to think?" "You disappear, who do they turn to?" "Five times I was taken in for questioning." "Five times." "No evidence!" "Then I get her whispering around the estate, pointing the finger." "Stuff through my letter box." " I didn't think I'd be gone so long." " I waited for you." " 12 months, waiting for you and the Doctor." " You knew about the Doctor?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Yeah, why not, Rose?" " How could I tell her where you went?" " Tell me now." "I might as well 'cause you're stuck here." " The Doctor's gone." "That box thing faded away." " What do you mean?" "He's left you." "Some boyfriend he turned out to be!" " He wouldn't just go." "He promised me." " He's dumped you." "Sailed off into space." "How does it feel?" "Now you are left behind with the rest of us earthlings." "Get used to it." " He would have said." " What are you going on about?" " What's this Doctor done now?" " He's vamoosed!" "He's not, 'cause he gave me this." "He's not my boyfriend." "He's better than that." "He's much more important..." "I said so." "Mum, go inside." "Don't stand there." "Just go inside." "Mum..." "Oh, blimey." "Huh?" "How did you do that, then?" "All right, so I lied." "I had a look." "The whole crash-landing's a fake." "I thought so." "I mean, hitting Big Ben - come on!" " My mum's here." " Oh, that's just what I need (!" ")" "Don't make this place domestic." " You ruined my life, Doctor." " I was a murder suspect because of you." " See?" "Domestic!" " I bet you don't even remember my name!" " Ricky." " It's Mickey." "I think I know my own name." " You think you know?" "How stupid are you?" " Mum!" "Don't go anywhere." "Don't fight." "Mum, it's not like that." "He's not..." "I'll be up in a minute." "Hold on." " That was a real spaceship?" " Yep." "What is it, then?" "Are they invading?" "Funny way to invade - putting the world on red alert." "Good point." "So what are they up to?" "As the government shows a remarkable lack of leadership, paranoia sweeps the country." "There's been three reports of assaults on people falsely identified as aliens." "Now back to Tom Hitchinson." "Are there more ships to come?" "And what is their intention?" "The authorities want your help." "If any previous sighting has been made, then call this number." " We need your help." "Yes." "I've seen one - an alien - and she's with him." "My daughter, she's with him." "And she's not safe." "Oh, my God." "She's not safe." "I've seen an alien." "I know his name." "He's called the Doctor." "It's a box." "A blue box." "She called it a Tardis." "What are you doing?" " Ricky..." " Mickey." "Ricky." "If I told you what I was doing to the controls of my magnificent ship, would you understand?" " I suppose not." " Well, shut it, then." " Some friend you've got (!" ")" " He's winding you up." " I AM sorry." " OK." "I am, though." "Every day I looked." "On every street corner." "Looking for a blue box for a whole year." "It's only been a few days for me." "I don't know." "It's hard to tell inside this thing, but I swear, it's just a few days since I left." "Not enough time to miss me, then." "I did miss you." "I missed you." "So, um..." "In 12 months, have you been seeing anyone else?" " No." " OK." " Mainly 'cause everyone thinks I murdered you." " Right." "So... now that you've come back... are you gonna stay?" "Got it!" "Ha-ha!" "Patched in the radar." "Looped it back 12 hours so it followed the flight of that spaceship." "Come on!" "That's the spaceship on its way to Earth." "Except..." "Hold on..." "The spaceship did a slingshot round the Earth before it landed." "It came from Earth in the first place." "It went up and came back down." "Those aliens have been here for a while." "The question is, what have they been doing?" "What do you think?" "How's the compression?" "I've got too much ballast round the middle." "Oh!" "That's better." " We've got to fix the gas exchange." " It seems very human to me." " We'd better get rid of his skin." " Shame." "I quite enjoyed being Oliver." "He had a wife, a mistress and a young farmer." "God, I was busy!" "Back to work!" " I have an army to command." " Careful." "We're not there yet." "General Asquith!" "We've had a priority alarm." "It's Code Nine confirmed." "Code Nine?" "Which would mean?" "In the event of the emergency protocols being activated, our software searches communications for key words, including "Doctor"." " I think we've found him, sir." " What sort of doctor?" "Who is he?" "He's an expert in extraterrestrial affairs." "The ultimate expert." "We need him, sir." "We need him here right now." " How many channels do you get?" " The basic packages." " Do you get sports channels?" " Yes, I get the football." "I know that lot." "The Government's bringing in alien specialists who have devoted their lives to studying outer space." "UNIT" " United Nations Intelligence Taskforce." " How do you know 'em?" " He's worked for them." "I didn't sit on my backside for 12 months." "I read up on you." "Look deep enough on the internet and there's his name," " followed by a list of the dead." " Good boy, Ricky!" " If you know 'em, why don't you go and help?" " They wouldn't recognise me." "Besides, there's aliens out there and fake aliens." "I want to keep THIS alien out of the mix." "I'm going undercover." "Better keep the Tardis out of sight." " Ricky, you've got a car." "You can drive." " Where to?" "Let's go and look at that spaceship." "Do not movel" "Rose!" "Rose!" "Raise your hands above your head." "Take me to your leader (!" ")" "This is posh." "If I'd known being arrested was like this, I'd have done it years ago." " We're being escorted, not arrested." " Where to?" "Downing Street!" " You're kidding!" " I'm not." " 10 Downing Street?" " That's the one." "My God!" "I'm going to 10 Downing Street." " How come?" " Mickey was right." "I've visited this planet a lot of times" " and I've been noticed." " Now they need you?" "They're gathering experts in alien knowledge." "Who's the biggest expert?" " Patrick Moore?" " Apart from him." "Don't you just love it!" "Lloyd George used to drink me under the table." " Who's the prime minister now?" " I don't know." "I missed a year." "Oh, my God." " She's all right, then?" "She's not in any trouble?" " Your daughter and her companion might be in a position to help the country." "We need to know how she made contact with this man - if he is a man." "Ooh." "Off you go." "I need to talk with Mrs Tyler on my own, thank you." "Harriet Jones, MP Flydale North." "Ladies and gentlemen, can we convene?" "Quick as we can, please." "Can I remind you, ID cards must be worn at all times." "Here's your ID card." " Your companion doesn't have clearance." " I don't go anywhere without her." " I'm sorry, Doctor." "She'll have to stay outside." " She's staying with me." " Even I don't have clearance to go in there." " It's all right." "You go." " Are you the Doctor?" " Not now." "We're busy." "Can't you go home?" " I just need a word." " You haven't got clearance." " I'll have to leave you with security." " It's all right." "I'll look after her." "Let me be of some use." "Walk with me." "Just keep walking." "That's right." "Don't look round." "Harriet Jones, MP Flydale North." "This friend of yours... he's an expert, is that right?" " He knows about aliens." " Why do you wanna know?" "If I could have your attention, please." "As you can see, the ship had one porcine pilot." "The really interesting bit happened three days ago, filed in Any Other Business." "The North Sea, a satellite detected a signal, a blip of radiation, at 100 fathoms... like there's something down there." "You were about to investigate, then came the spaceship - a massive diversion." "From what?" "They turned the body into a suit - a disguise for the thing inside." "It's all right." "I believe you." "It's alien." "They must have some serious technology behind this." "If we could find it, we could use it." " Oh, my God!" " This has gone beyond a joke." "You cannot just wander..." "Oh, my God!" "That's the prime minister!" "If aliens fake an alien crash and an alien pilot, what do they get?" "Us." "They get us." "It's not a diversion, it's a trap." "Oh..." "Has someone been naughty?" "It was bigger on the inside." "I don't know." "What do I know about spaceships?" "That's what worries me." "This man is classified as trouble, which means that anyone associated with him is trouble." "And that's my job... eliminating trouble." "That's not possible." "He left this afternoon." " The prime minister left." "He was driven away." " And who told you that?" "Hmm?" "Me!" "This is all about us." "Experts with the knowledge how to fight aliens, together in one room." "Do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?" "Would you rather silent but deadly?" "Ohhh!" "We are the Slitheen." "Agh!" "Thank you all for wearing your ID cards." "They'll help to identify the bodies." "Agh!" "Agh!" "Yesterday saw the start of a brave new world." "Today might see it end." "Oi!" "If you want aliens, they're inside Downing Street." "Agh!" "Planet Earth is at war." "Everybody run!" " Who are the Slitheen?" " They're aliens." "I could save the world but lose you."