"(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)" "She actually kissed you?" "Mmm." "And trembled as she did so." "Had I been less of a gentleman," "I don't doubt she would've given herself to me like a street girl." "I would remind you, she is still my sister." "(SIGHS) Well, if your conscience pricks, say the word and I'll tell her the truth." "You could say farewell to sister and fortune with but a single wave." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "HONORIA:" "Why are they called lawyers?" "How can they contend to represent the law or justice or even common decency?" "Jackals would be a better name!" "I take it Mr Jaggers offered no help?" "He spoke at length and eloquently, without saying very much." "His main concern seemed to be the chances of getting paid by a man in debtors' prison." "I have written to father's agents overseas but even if they can offer help, it will be months away." "It would seem that our fate is in our own hands." " I agree." " You do?" "Yes." "James has offered to escort me to call upon everyone that father has done business with." "And that's your solution, is it?" "An afternoon with your captain?" "Do not try my patience, Frances." "Not today." "I am not in the mood for it!" "Father needs our help, and his cause will not be furthered by your petty disapprovals." "Would you have me in debtors' prison with Edward Barbary?" "I need to seduce her to further meld her heart to me." "Where do you suggest I do that, Beckity's oyster shop?" "No." "Then, do as I ask." "I've already borrowed against my share of the brewery." "It's all I have." "And it will continue to be all you have if we fall at the final hurdle." "Good man." "Another 50 should do it." "Fifty?" "Are we nearly done, love, or should I send for an ass?" "Stop complaining, Bumble!" "If we're to further your career, we must make a good impression and for that, we must have currants!" " Currants, my angel?" " Hmm." "We will have spotted dick pudding." "Oh!" "Transparent soup, pheasant and spotted dick pudding." "Then cheese, Bumble." "We shall have cheese." " Cheese and smoking bishop." " Oh!" "I will not have Mr Gradgrind speaking ill of our hospitality." "Heaven forbid!" "Ah." "When he leaves us, he will be eager to tell the trustees what fine and generous people we are and how we should be moved up the professional ladder without delay." "Moved up, Bumble, to a position that more suits our sensibilities." "So currants we shall have." "Two handfuls, if you please." "You, er..." "(STRAINING) Thank you." "Ah!" "Oh." "(GROANING)" "I feel so useless." "There's nothing you could have done." "If I'd been promoted, then I'd have more money." " Some influence, perhaps." " You're always there when I need you." "Just being with you gives me courage." "I'm afraid that courage alone won't help your father." "You think he'll be sympathetic?" "All I can do is throw myself on his mercy, hope he finds it in his heart to reconsider." "MRS GAMP:" "Ah, five pound, Fanny!" "There's some round here who'd sell their own mother for that." "Yeah, and then waste it on a bellyful of gin, no doubt." "How can you can say "waste" and "gin" in the same sentence?" "It has some very recuperative qualities." "Which I'm sure you'd know about." "Five pound, though, Fanny." "Makes me wish I knew something." "If you ask me, this Inspector Bucket can't be very good at his job, can he?" "Not if he's having to ask us for our help." "With five pound at stake, Fanny, we've got to be virulent." "We've got to keep our eyes to the grindstone." "The murderer is somewhere here amongst us and we could be the ones to find him!" "Oh!" "Reconsider?" "You wish me to ignore the fact that your father is in arrears?" "To let him repay the debt when the mood takes him, is that it?" "With respect, sir, that's not what Ms Barbary suggested." "With respect to you, sir, it's what she intimates with her plea, that I should have her father released before a penny of the debt is repaid." "We will repay your debt in full, sir, I swear it." "Of course you will." "You know why that is, Miss Barbary?" "Because your father's plight has concentrated your mind to it." "You were not here yesterday to assure me that the debt shall be paid in full." "Yet here you are today." "Have you no heart, Mr Scrooge?" "Allow me to ask you the same question, Miss." "It seems to me you'd be content to see me out of business, to see Bob Cratchit here out of paid employment." "How many children do you have, Cratchit?" "Uh, six, sir." "Three boys, three girls." "Seven if you count my new son-in-law." "Seven!" "Seven mouths to feed." "Yet Miss Barbary here would see you all in the workhouse." "You do me a disservice, sir!" "I've simply pointed out a possible outcome of what you propose." "If you do not wish to hear it, I suggest you leave us to our work." "Come, James." "He will not listen." "HONORIA:" "Good day, Mr Scrooge." "(DOOR SLAMMING)" "If they're here begging for clemency, they clearly have no funds to pay the debt." "Contact the bailiff, have their possessions valued at once." "Stop dawdling, Bumble!" "There's a meal to prepare!" "And then I need to make myself look beautiful!" "Then time is indeed of the essence, my dearest honeypot." "MAID:" "Come in, Mr Compeyson." "Mr Compeyson, Miss." " Mr Compeyson." " Miss Havisham." "Forgive me." "Though I admit spending most of the night awake thinking of seeing you again, I didn't envisage myself being quite so forward." "You have nothing to apologise for." " I was presumptuous." " No." "The truth is I too have spent most of the night awake thinking about seeing you again." "ARTHUR:" "They're of the highest quality." "They are indeed, Mr Havisham, sir." " So you'll buy them?" " Well, there's my dilemma, you see." "Because while there's no doubt as to their quality, there is some doubt about who I could sell them to." "I was told you'd buy such items." "Ordinarily, that would be the case but I don't have that many gentlemen such as yourself banging on my door, demanding to see my stock of gold cufflinks." " And the hip flask?" " Same thing, my dear." "Can't remember ever selling a hip flask for more than a shilling." "And even then, I had to give generous payment terms." "The ring I could melt down and not wanting to offer you offence, offer you scrap value." "(BANGING TABLE) Damn your eyes!" "Just give me a price." "For the flask, the ring and the gold cufflinks, 10 pound." "(SCOFFS)" "I know, Mr Havisham, sir, it's an insult." "A downright liberty, a travesty." "And I'm ashamed such a figure had to pass my lips as it did, but I can only buy" "with one eye on the sale." "I've had a very difficult morning." "I've had a pregnant whore in Lillibon Lane, whooping cough at the sponging house and a poorly Cratchit." " Which one?" " Young Timothy." "Always been the runt of the litter." "Needs some goodness inside him." "And as I always says, you gets out of your body what you puts in." " Ah." " Course, it didn't help that I didn't hardly sleep a wink last night." "Nightmares overtook me." "A huge, leering, one-legged beast trying to have his way with me." "Forcing himself on me, intent on ravaging me." "Stealing my innocence." " Your innocence?" " Yes." "I'd have thought that carriage had already left." "I could still call the constable if I was so disposed, you know." "Brandy." "Pleasure doing business with you, my dear." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "I never thought I'd ever have another man in my life after father died." "I found it unthinkable." "It seemed disloyal somehow." "Is that strange?" "No." "Simply a testament to how much you loved him." "It was as though the world lost its last good man." "And now?" "And now there is you, Mr Meriwether Compeyson." "You've shown me only kindness since the second we met and yet never asked for anything in return." "Well, I've been skittish at best." " Truculent, even." " (CHUCKLES)" "I admit I don't quite know why you maintained your interest in me." "Because beneath all that stiff and shiny Havisham veneer," "I saw something else." "What?" "A little girl." "Frightened and alone, trying to make father proud." "You're not alone any more." "No." "And I'll be happy to help with the brewery." " It must be weighing heavily on you." " Not at all." "The truth is I think I've come to enjoy it." "Well, even so..." "Please." "Consider me an extra pair of hands." "I wouldn't dream of it." "No, the business is my cross to bear." "No one else's." "(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)" "Landlord!" "I'm sure you can amuse yourself for a few minutes." " I would rather come with you." " I'll only be in the garden." "I'm meeting a new head gardener, so I must be serious and instruct him properly." "Then why on earth did you hire him?" "Shouldn't he already know what to do?" "Stop being so difficult." "I'll have cook prepare some lunch for when I'm back." "(COMPEYSON SIGHS)" "(DOOR CLOSING)" "(BELL RINGING)" "Pardon me, sir, but Miss Barbary is here to see Miss Havisham." "She's in the garden and left word not to be disturbed." "Sir." "Oh!" "No, wait." "Show Miss Barbary in." " Miss Barbary." " Mr Compeyson." "I was visiting Amelia but she was called to attend to a staff matter." "We can wait for her together." "Can I call for some tea, perhaps?" "Oh, no, thank you." "(SIGHS) I heard about your father." "I'm sorry." "It must be a terrible time for you." "People are such gossips." "I'm afraid it's common knowledge." "I find it surprising others take such interest in our misfortune." "Indeed!" "Can I say how impressed I am by the strength of your friendship to Amelia?" " Your loyalty." " Well, she's very dear to me." "Indeed." "And forgive me for saying, but some in your position may have abused that friendship and you have not." "I know she's thankful for that." " I'm not sure I understand." " Put simply, um, you could have used your friendship with Amelia to ask her for money to settle your father's debts, breaking her heart in the process." "I know she values your friendship because you see her for who she is, not simply a stepping stone to the Havisham fortune." "Yes, of course." "A true friend." "I, um..." " I think I'll call another time." " But you only just got here." "Uh, yes, but I've just remembered I... have something, um..." "Please give Amelia my love." "Tell her I'm sorry I missed her." " Any other message?" " Um..." "No." "Thank you." "Good day." " Mary said Honoria was here." " Yes." "She left." "I'm afraid she became a little upset." "You know, her father's been taken to debtors' prison." " No." " Yesterday evening, I believe." " Well, then, I must help her." " Exactly what I said." "That all she had to do was ask and I was certain you would help her and her family." "Yes, of course." "Which is why, I'm afraid, she became upset." "I think she felt insulted, that you offering her money would destroy your friendship." "Oh." "She was very insistent and demanded I not mention it again." "She's clearly a very proud, very independent woman." " Wants to deal with the matter herself." " (CHUCKLES)" " That's so silly!" " It is." "But as her friend, you must respect her wishes." "(SIGHS) You're right." "Of course." "(DOG BARKING)" "(HUMMING) Ooh." " Bumble?" " Er, yes, my love?" " Have you washed?" " Oh!" "Washed, powdered, sprayed and combed to within an inch of me life, dearest." "If I were any cleaner, you could serve your pheasant off my bare torso." "Don't be disgusting!" "Sorry my love." " Mmm." " Decant the wine, Bumble?" "Let it breathe." "Go!" "If things go well tonight, Bumble, if Mr Gradgrind agrees to put you forward for a new position, then I daresay the very thought of our new house, of our improved social standing might make me so giddy that I weaken." " I weaken." " Hmm." "And call for you to visit me once Mr Gradgrind has left." "Visit you?" "Visit me." "Ohh." "Would you like that, Bumble?" "Oh, more than you can imagine, my love." "Mmm." "Then, on your best behaviour." "Let's ensure that the evening is a success!" " Mmm..." " The wine, Bumble." "(GRUNTS)" "Yes. (CLEARING THROAT)" "FRANCES:" "If he manages to find any money," "I daresay he'll take it straight to the card table." " You know nothing about him." " I know that he's a wastrel." "A ne'er do well." "How can you say that?" "You've spent less than two hours in his company." "He's the kindest, sweetest man I've ever known." "There's no substance to him." "If you'd done more to encourage Sir Leicester, he'd be here now helping us out of this terrible situation." "I love James." "How can you speak of love when father is in prison?" "For all we know, surrounded by thieves and murderers!" "Stop it." "It cuts you because you know it's the truth!" "That it's within your power to put an end to father's ordeal" " and yet you choose not to." " No." "Instead, you sit here waiting for your ridiculous Captain Hawdon to bring a few shillings to bribe a turnkey and he can't even do that!" "(KNOCK ON DOOR)" "(DOOR OPENING)" "Good evening, Captain Hawdon." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "MR BUMBLE:" "Mmm. (SLURPING)" "I trust the soup was to your liking, Mr Gradgrind?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Made fresh today as it was with the finest ingredients and by the fair hand of Mrs Bumble." "It was hot and not without flavour." "Oh!" "Did you hear that, my angel?" "Hot and not without flavour!" "High praise indeed." "We've pheasant to follow, Mr Gradgrind." "Plucked and prepared according to my mother's recipe." "Soaked first to plump up the breast, then smeared in butter." " I think you'll find it very succulent." " (MR BUMBLE GRUNTING)" " Oh, yes." " I'll leave you two men to, um, talk business." "Um, uh..." "Open up!" "We wish to visit this lady's father." " What's his name?" " Barbary." "Mr Edward Barbary." " No visitors." " Why not?" "Fighting." "I have two shillings here if you let us in to see him." " Five." " Two is all I have." "(PATRONS CHATTERING)" "# Oh, she'd had quite enough" "# Of my nonsense, at the same time I'd been very bad... #" " Sorry." " Watch yourself there, sir." "No, Landlord." "You watch yourself!" " I'm a Havisham!" " We all know who you are, son." "Good." "So you bloody well should." "Steady there, sir." "I am Arthur Havisham!" "(DOG BARKING)" "(GASPS)" " (GRUNTS)" " What have they done to you?" "Honoria, you shouldn't have come here." "Look at you, they've hurt you." " Who did this?" " Doesn't matter." "There was a disagreement." "It's all over with now." " You take her away." " No, no." "Please open the gate." " Let me in for a moment, please." " Take her away from here." "Papa, we will get you out of here." "I promise." "Take me back." "No, he's only just got here!" "(WHIMPERING) I'm so sorry." "Let's go." "Was that not the finest spotted dick pudding ever to grace a table in the civilised world?" "(LAUGHING)" "It wasn't unpleasant." "Not unpleasant?" "Did you hear that, my love?" "Mr Gradgrind heaps more praise upon you." "I'm very grateful." "There's cheese and smoking bishop when the mood takes you, sir." "(MR BUMBLE CHUCKLES)" "So, Mr Gradgrind, as you know, er, Mrs Bumble and I are looking for a new position." "Something more befitting our social aspirations, if you will." " Indeed." " The workhouse here is cold and damp and the children wild." "I fear our being placed here has been some terrible mistake!" "MR BUMBLE:" "Yet I understand there are new workhouses being built in the Midlands?" "With houses attached and a maid." "Er, cheese and smoking bishop, you say?" "(CHUCKLING)" "You worry about me too much but I am more than capable." "I don't doubt it for a second." "I simply wish to have a greater understanding of what keeps the woman I love so occupied." "To offer my advice from time to time." "I should be happy to have your advice." " (DOOR OPENING)" " Excellent." "BUTLER:" "Mr Havisham." "ARTHUR:" "Out of my way." "BUTLER:" "One moment, please!" "Get out of my way, girl." "This is my house." " I'm sorry, Miss..." " It's all right, Mary, you may go." "That's right, Mary." "Do as my darling sister says." "You may go." "Ah, Compeyson!" "Cheers." "You're drunk." "Yes, I am." "I came into some money, you see." "Just like you told me to." "Sold my possessions to a very unsavoury character." "Even more unsavoury than you." "Ten pounds." "Less." "I had a drink, you see, but it's all there." "You can count it." "I don't understand." "What's he talking about?" "I don't think he knows himself." "That's right." "Sorry." "Secret." "Shh!" "Arthur, I thought we were on good terms again." "What is this?" "I must be such an embarrassment to you, sister." "The son of a cook." " No!" " Cook's son and a trollop." " Quite the pair, aren't we?" " That's enough." "He's drunk." "He doesn't know what he's saying." "Come, Arthur." "Let me take you home." "I live here." "And it'll all be mine again, won't it, Compeyson?" "All mine again." "We're a match for the trollop, aren't we, Compeyson, you and I?" "I'm sorry, Amelia, I can't let him talk to you like this." "Oh, that's right, old chap." "You tell her." "Oh, please don't hurt him." "(ARTHUR LAUGHING)" "(DOOR OPENING)" " Open the gates!" " Easy, old boy." "Wait." "Did you get the money?" "I brought it." "I'll talk to you later." "(SIGHS)" "Poor Arthur." "What's to become of him?" "The evening was not disagreeable." "(LAUGHING) Not disagreeable." "Oh, look, sir." "You make Mrs Bumble blush!" "And the thing we talked about, Mr Gradgrind, the, um, the new position?" "Uh, duly noted, Mrs Bumble." "Good evening, Mr Gradgrind!" " Er, good evening." " (MR BUMBLE LAUGHING)" " (DOOR CLOSING)" " Did you hear that?" "We have been duly noted." " Indeed we have!" " (LAUGHING)" "The evening was a success!" "Although the exertion of it has worn me out." "I'll leave the lights to you, Bumble." "(LAUGHING) I shall extinguish them in quick time, my angel." "And visit you shortly afterwards." "Visit me?" "As we discussed, my love." "Oh, not tonight, Bumble." "I'm exhausted!" "Have you no heart?" "(MUMBLES)" "(EXHALES)" "(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)" "# Oh, where have you been all the day" "# My boy Willie?" "# Oh, where have you been all the day?" "# Willie, won't you tell me now?" "# I've been all the day courting of a lady gay" "# But she is too young to be taken from her mummy" "(SOBBING)" "# Oh, can she brew and can she bake" "# My boy Willie?" "# Oh, can she brew and can she bake?" "# Willie, won't you tell me now?" "# She can brew and she can bake" "# And she can make a wedding cake" "Oh, Compeyson." "There you are. (LAUGHING)" "# But she is too young to be taken from her mummy #" "(CROWD CHEERING AND CLAPPING)" "(LAUGHING)" "(WHIPPING)" "(ARTHUR GASPING)" "(SOBBING)"