"LOVE STORIES my grandmother tells" "Hello!" "Oh, well Jack wait a second I take my..." "Ed its Jack" "But Dana." "Yeah we are doing a movie here, We've got all this machinery." "Yeah." "I have your caviar." "Why don't we have that?" "It's a special occasion." "I see." "Did you wake up... did they call you or did you call them?" "Oh, I see." "They called you this morning, oh I see." "Ok." "My childhood began in the horse and buggy days." "This period changed abruptly with the outbreak of World War I in 1914." "Page 7." "Father proposed to my mother taking her for a ride in the carriage." "The Batner family at first were taken aback." "For those days when you asked for the ladies hand in marriage this was done in the parlour." "Over a period of three years, electricity, telephones, phonographs, cars and airplanes all appeared on the scene." "They played Caruso records and had many long conversations." "Of course, they were the most beautiful records and they're still using that voice, you know." "There was just no voice like Caruso... even Pavarotti." "That was the first record and the only record we had." ""I would like special people to stay on." said Krishnamurti." ""Gustav Regler and Peggy and eight others."" "and we said "We are going to India."" "It was then that he asked us to come to Madras." "Cause we said, we are going around the world." "And then of course we didn't get there because Gustav died, in New Delhi." "You know everybody burns up the body on the Ganges." "But then they throw the ashes in the river, it's a sacred river." "You walk and go to the boat down the river, you see everybody sitting there burning mimosa." " Rather interesting, beside." " Right." "They still do that everybody in India, all the time." "We came home for lunch, to the Pavlant's and Keenie's house." "And Gustav said, he wanted to sit in the garden and write, and I said, I'll take the little walk around the Elodie tombs." "Then he run upstairs to get a pencil." "And he fell on the staircase." "And wether He hit his head and had a haemorrhage, or he hadva haemorrhage and fell" "We don't know." "So I had to come back and they pushed him in an old black Mariah to a field where you get... get a piece of cement as big as that rug." "And then you look around you give a man 50 cents or something, said we need wood to build a fire." "So the man brings the wood." "And then he finally dumps the body on top of it." "And he said the law is that you light the fire, nearest of kin." "And they said, we better put some grease on it because it's hard for him to burn." "So I covered him with grease." "And then this sister we'd been to came, and she brought petals, flower petals." "So instead of being absolutely naked poor little Gustav... she covered him with flower petals which was very nice, I thought." ""She covered him with flower petals."" "I wanted to jump into the fire too because you know... many places in India the wives all jump in the fire." "The next day I went into a state of shock." "I was coming back in the driveway and the little man had came by on a bicycle." "It was something in a piece of newspaper." "He said, "Could you deliver this in the house?"" "And I said, yes." "So I called Keenie and I said... there is something came in a newspaper for you." "And she opened it and it was Gustav's ashes." "Gustav was the big thing in my life." "I was just bowled over by his brilliance." "He was the top author in Germany before Hitler came in." "Gustav had been to Russia with Andrei Malrowe, Pasternak, and Sheed... and lot of the important intellectuals of Europe." "Thought the communism was the answer." "In other words they thought it was gonna put on a lot of new reforms." "And then they found out that it was another form of Nazism." "And that was even almost worse." "So they were disillusioned." "In '37 Gustav was badly wounded." "While visiting the Spanish war." "He was on a back seat of four people and three companions when a shell landed in Gustav's lower back." "Eh they were in a car... it blew up." "It went through the left side and he pulled out from the right." "Missing the kidney by one millimeter." "We were certainly forced to fight in Spain." "When in one battle we had... fifty airplanes against us." "We had only four." "When the States gave no support we knew we were done." "I used to take the train down when school holidays came." "My father came and picked me up." "He would give me a peck on the cheek, and say," ""You carry your own bag and follow me." ""We're not going to waste any money on taxis." "We're going over to Pennsylvania Station and we're going by subway." "The phone rang and he said, "Oh yes, you wrote me."" "I said, "Yes, I wrote you a year ago."" "He said, "I'm gonna ask the letter now."" "I'd like to meet you." "I said, "Where are you?" "He said, "I'm on 35th street."" "And I said, "Where is 35th?" "Why don't you come right over... and we'll talk?"" "So I had quite a friendship with him." "Then one day he said, kind of a Krishnamurti trick" "I know all about you now" "I don't think I wanna see you anymore so goodbye." "That's the way Krishnamurti used to be." "So our friendship came to an end." "The first thing I told him, it was just after Gustav died," "I wasn't able to get over the... shock of having to burn Gustav alive, light the fire." "And set Gustav and burn him on this Ghat." "And that I used to wake up at night seeing myself lighting the fire." "You know it's very hard to burn up your husband." "And he helped me to get over that." "He died by accident in India." "I buried his body on a ghat You know what a ghat is?" "What is that?" "Ghat is a cement block where you burn the bodies in India." "The ashes I put back in Urpsig." "Totality is that KGS word with another dimension." "I was so into philosophy and mysticism I was studying, studying..." "Gustav inspired me and then he goes and dies and you miss all out stimulation." "When I was going to Paris to meet this man that I... he was a great man of my life." "I met him before Gustav died, in Paris." "And I said, "Oh boy, Gustav ever dies that's the man for me." "After Gustav died..." "I went to an art exhibition because he was a painter." "And he was there." "But he was married, of course." "They're always married." "So without a long, long sad story." " Did you get together with him?" " Oh yes." "I've spent a month with him." "But he had this wife and she was very nice." "She, he never... he was always going away leaving her and painting." "It wasn't very good." "They had three children." "They had been separated in the War." "She lived in Rome." "She was very nice and she loved him." "And I said, we cannot..." "We've got to say good bye, because you cannot take at 50... it's a dirty trick to take a husband away from a very nice woman." "You know, you just don't do that." "I said, we'd be so ridden with guilt" "Thinking while sitting alone." "We have never had a happy day." "Because we both were decent people." "So we had to say good bye." "With great trauma, good-byes and everything." "A year later or two years later..." "I said we're not ever gonna see each other again because its gotta stop." "And then two years later I was with Alec." "A friend had given us an apartment right across from the plaza." "Alec went out one afternoon to go to a museum or something." "And I rushed around with.. to gristidius to buy something." "And gristidius was a long thing like this at the back with all the refrigerators." "There was a refrigerator that went like this and like this." "And I go and open this and a hand goes and opens that." "And it's this man." "I said, "What are you doing here?"" "He said, "I am around the corner with my wife."" "I said, "You know we can't see each other."" "Because why we just can't do it." "We both began to sort of shake." "We didn't know what to do." "I said, "Why don't you come up to my place you can stay 20 mins because Alec might be coming back any minute."" "so he came up and I said, "Don't sit near me you can sit over there... because I can't touch you because if I do I go to pieces." "It was so natural to fall asleep by his side." "The weekend will be eat and sleep." "We made love and went to the cafe where Voltaire used to eat, cold and grey Paris with Francois Michel." "When you really have been in love with a man and you know what the real thing is you just can't sit around and go with somebody else." "The important men in my life, except for Gustav, were not the men I married." "Of course that was the Landon thing which turned me upside down." "My marriage was sound because it made me realize what a huge mistake I've made." "The difference between Landon and Sam." "Then there was the Alvaro connection." "He was a brilliant man." "Then I realized what a life could be like." "And then I realized what life could be like with another type of man." "And then there was the man between Alec and Gustav." "Which was Seman." "I don't know why I was so bowled over by him." " In Paris?" " Yeah, in Paris." "Living with him for a while." " So that's it." " But you had a very long relationship with Alec." "It was 22 years." "It was only 20 years with Gustav, and 21 with Sam." "So that was it." "Sam Irwin began to call for me after he left law school, at the door of my school and drove me home through that beautiful Fairmount Park." "Day after day, and he left me at my door." "After several months of this devotion marriage was in the air." "My relationship with Sam was never any good because..." "I had loved Landon so deeply." "It was very superficial our relationship." "We were both very young, we didn't know what we're doing anyway." "What was the motivation for going Reno?" "To get the divorce?" "Well get divorce because I couldn't stand living with a drunken man." "And I had all these other men telling me I should leave this kind of alone." "It was just a great mistake." "I had lots of lovers during that time," "because he did too." "He had a mistress." "I called the Travel Bureau and I said" ""I have 1200 dollars where can I go?"" "Any place with 1200 dollars." "They called me back and said there's a freighter leaving for Baltimore you can... carrying bananas to Haiti" "It takes usually 52 people but it hasn't any lifeboats so its only gonna take 5." "You can go on that freighter." "So I said, "Fine"." "There were five others." "A married couple, a very unhappy woman and a man, called Artzi Bashev." "He was having a break down." "His wife had sent him off." "So we had the best old time on Tahiti." "The silence of the evening was occasionally interrupted by the blowing of an automobile horn." "Life moved at a faster pace." "He said... he said, you are pathetic." "You are just unhappy, married an American girl, you know nothing about life, sex or men." "You've got three children and you don't know what you are doing." "You'd better come up and spend the night... sleep with me every night..." "I'll tell you a little bit what is going on..." "I'm married, I'm going back to my wife" "I'll never see you again after this trip so I said, sure." "He was up on 8 deck." "We had champagne and big suite and everything." "We had a good time, and we said good bye." "I got to London." "Then I picked up this man... the diplomat who'd asked me to come over." "He met me, came over to the hotel he said, let's go over to the apartment." "I said, fine." "We got to the apartment." "He walked in the door he said, I never wear any clothes in the apartment." "You have to take your clothes off." "I said, that's all right." "Having just had these nights with the Polish man." "We had a very nice few days together." "So ridiculous." "I was married with three children he was this wild man living in London." "A year after going to London, I decided to divorce Sam." "So I went to Rhino, and I hired a governess to take care of the children." "Oh, mother died long before and he doesn't even remember her." "Mother died when Paul was born." "Paul was about 3 or 4." "When mother died." "She adored Paul." "Sam phoned, "I fired the governess you have to come back."" ""Crazy blackmail," I said." "Then he came every night at 7 o'clock and he said" "Listen, I'm very rich my brother is a big lawyer." "I am getting the children from you." "If you don't marry me again." "He said, you have no money." "Your father won't give you any." "And you can't fight me." "I said, well... let me think it over." "All right." "I'll marry Sam." "So he met me at Baltimore and we got married again." " You did?" " Yeah." "Then I said, I take Andy 16." "I don't want any trouble." "I want my evenings to myself." "I refuse to play bridge every night with you." "He said, fine." "But I'll give you 50 dollars when you leave." "And that was the contract so he stayed until Andrew was 16." "I think it was about 5 years, I don't remember." "I had lots of lovers during that time because he did too." "He had a mistress." "Ever since I was young I've been reading philosophers, religions..." "I was always studying." "Because this man, friend of Sam's, who was a great reader and he told me to read all these things." "Here is one thing." ""Love is self remains constant." "Only the particular body from whom we sometimes come to expect may change."" " That's interesting." " Yeah." "Religion is nothing but form." "A form way of living." "With lots of rules." "He says, we better get out of this as much further." "There's lots more out there." "And when you get... bring yourself out of that box into the spiritual life you enlarge and you grow" "...you expand... into many more higher interests." "And a different form of attitude of life towards people and towards everything that you do." "It was an autumn morning and we were driving through Fairmount Park." "At the upper end of the drive there is a small stream that runs along side and can be seen very clearly." "When we were rounding a bend." "My father said in animated tones," ""Look, Margaret dear, at that group of willows that line the banks of the creek." "Yes," I nodded." ""That, to me, is just what Shakespeare had in mind as the kind of place where poor Ophelia was drowned." "Yes, this is the way it was."" "For years I could never pass that spot without imagining Ophelia floating along there with her white dress and long matted hair." "Pearl Harbour." "You know Pearl Harbour we started the war." "Sam decided that he would go to war." "And Paul was called to war." "I kept the children in Mexico and it was Christmas time." "Sam wrote and said, I think it's very important we all have as a family, a reunion in Orlando." "So we went." "We had... we all had terrible time getting there." "Cause you just couldn't travel in war time." "How did you get there?" "You know, there were soldiers on the train and everything." "In the morning the next day, a large envelope, mailed from Mexico was delivered to me." "I had called... told Gustav that I was going." "And Gustav said, that he wanted to write me a diary." "And that he would mail it to me to Orlando." "But in order to disguise it he would call himself..." "What did he call himself?" "He called me Pug and called my father King Lear." "We had different names." "So this diary comes for me." "And it's censored by the army." "It's partly in German and French." "He liked to change it around because he knew Sam couldn't understand them." "Sam said, what a hell is this?" "The army has decided that you are a spy." "I'm gonna be kicked out of the army and you're going to have to go... you're gonna have a hearing tomorrow." "And explain this diary." "So I went and I said well... it happens to be someone that I know that I love very much." "They found out it was just a love letter, you see." "But that broke up the marriage pretty well." "So that's the end of that story." "We went every morning and set around with Krishnamurti." "It was then that he invited us to Madras." "And of course we didn't get there because Gustav died in New Delhi." "I went into a state of shock." "I used to wake up at night seeing myself lighting the fire." "Of course, Gustav was a big thing in my life." "I was just bowled over by his brilliance." "And his terrific experience and all the horrors he'd had in his life." "He was like a cat with nine lives I mean he's almost killed and died so many times." "His son died killed by the Nazis," "Then he landed in Mexico with a wife with cancer and... having his son die... killed by the Nazis, it was just one tragic thing after another." "He said, that his affection for me was that I was so full of life." "And he had had so much death." "He wanted to hold on to me because I sort of could revive him." "It was just one tragic thing after another." "Bring him back while his wife was dying." "Then I got nervous about the relationship." "Because I didn't think I should be having this strong relationship." "It wasn't fair to the wife." "So I left Mexico." "I went to live in Washington." "13... a year before she died." "So that she wouldn't get wind of the thing." "That was a very difficult year." "That was in 19..." "You know the War ended in '45." "I went I think the end of '43 to Washington." "A year later I ran over a squirrel." "We had little meat so I took it home and cooked it." "I don't know why I did that." "The War was over, Paul was safe." "He wrote, I may go to Japan, damn it." "Because he'd been fighting." "They said, we have to take the season troops to Japan." "Paul was in that but then the bomb came." "Then came the end." "Paul telephoned for 5 minutes from overseas." "The same day, then Sam telephoned." "And said, let's get married again." "And then Gustav telephoned." "All this happened on one day that Marie Louise had died." "So I was going to marry him." "Then Gustav called me up a month or two later and he said." "I have 400 dollars in the bank." "I said, I couldn't come." "I couldn't leave the children." "I had no money." "He called up and said, I have 400 dollars in the bank," "I'm sending it all to you and I'm not eating until you come." "I received the money draft from Gustav." "It was all he had." "But enough for me to come for 10 days." "Both of us were completely penniless but happy." "We took a second class bus to Veracruz where he knew a woman who has been a grenade thrower in the war in Spain." "I think that's enough." "Don't you, Dana?" " Well, I tell you one more thing here." " Ok." "My mother told me." "She'd had some children." "She had all these boys and she was exhausted." "She nursed all of them for 2 years or something." "She had gone 4 years without any children." "Three years." "She was having menopause." "She thought this is just wonderful I am through." "Father came over to go to the library." "She came to New York." "And she went to the doctor... and he said, you are pregnant." "Oh my God." "Another boy." "She had five in a row." "That was six all together." "She met father at the library." "She sat in front of this lion on a bench and cried." "She wasn't strong enough to have..." "She was never well after I came." "Because she haemorrhaged" "And you know she died quite young." "And I think my father blamed me a lot on her death because it really brought her down." "She never should have had this child." "Those days they did not know what to do so..." "The only thing was if it's a girl it won't be so bad." "I told that to Gustav and this is what he said." "It's so sweet." ""Your mother hesitated to launch you into the century." "But I invite you to a tour de monde, a tour the world."" "He invited me to go around the world." "Subtitles by mitbrille Karagarga@2013"