"Of all the disgusting..." "Look out, you crazy!" "Rough night of crime fighting, sir?" "Very." "Well, you'll be happy to know I've drawn you a bath." "Whenever you're ready." " What's the deal, Alfred?" " I said I drew you a bath, sir." "April Fool's!" "Very funny, Alfred." "I guess I'll just take a shower." "Not a funny bone in his entire body." " Alfred, hit the radio, would you?" " Right away, sir." "Traffic is at a standstill on the Gotham expressway where a trailer full of eggs has overturned." "This just in:" "Gotham police are investigating a series of near-fatal accidents along the river." "Initial reports indicate that hundreds of Gothamites have inexplicably begun acting like total laughing fools." "More details as they become available." "Sounds like a rather dirty April Fools' prank." "Sounds like the Joker." "At this hour, Gotham City is in the grip of insanity." "Everywhere, people are turning into lunatics." "Latest reports say that the wave of foolish hysteria is moving down 7th Avenue toward" "Towards the financial district." "That's my cue." "Perfect." "Now, everybody, remember where we parked." "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping." "Who says crime doesn't pay?" "Now, this is what I call a sidewalk sale." "Airborne gas emanating from riverfront district." "Analysis:" "Lengthy exposure to the gas will result in permanent insanity." "Alfred, I left the hex key upstairs in the den." "Would you bring it down?" "Oh, go fetch it yourself." "Very funny, Alfred, but I've no time to play." "Alfred?" "Alfred!" "Just a little spring cleaning, sir." "The gas!" "I believe I've contracted a giant case of the giggles." "Lengthy exposure to the gas will result in permanent insanity." "Okay, let's shoot it." "This place is giving me the creeps." "I'm here in downtown Gotham where corporate CEOs have gone stark, raving mad." "It would appear that the collapse of the stock market is now imminent." "The question is:" "Will April Fools' Day mark the end of Gotham City as we know it?" "The only things gaining now are the laughingstocks." "Look who's come to trash the place." "A fitting setting for you, Joker." "I just love to get down and dirty." "Okay, boys it's playtime!" "It's about time." "What are we waiting for?" "Batman, you're a real party peeper." "Why don't you take your mask off and have a few laughs?" "Cut the clowning, Joker." "Get him!" "You shouldn't have made Captain Clown mad." "Time to take out the garbage." "I just love these new Ziploc seals." "We wouldn't want our little caged rodent to suffocate so we'll just punch some air holes." "Okay, captain, give it the old heave-ho." "Looks like our air holes are water holes too." "What a shame." "I never knew Batman could sink so low." "Well, captain, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship." "You want to play dirty, Joker?" "Get ready, boys." "Here it comes." "This will give those April fools a lot more smiles per gallon." "What are you fools--?" "Batman!" "Hey, Batman!" "Looks like Captain Clown is really getting attached to you." "You killed Captain Clown." "You killed Captain Clown!" "Just for that, Batman..." "Hey, Batman, you stink so bad I can smell you from here!" "Justice is served hot, Batman!" "You're going to melt just like a grilled cheese sandwich." "Justice will be served, Joker." "Service with a smile?" "Clean up your act, Joker." "Oh, that's a joke, right?" "Batman finally told a joke." "Batman!" "You wouldn't let me fry, would you?" "Batman!" "I've taken eight showers and I still feel soiled." "I've never seen so much garbage." "What's wrong, Alfred?" "Aren't you feeling better?" "What's wrong, sir?" "I destroy a priceless Ming vase, and you ask me what's wrong?" "Don't worry about it." "I'll just take it out of your salary for the next couple of years." "Very well, sir." "Alfred April Fool's."