"[SINGING] Core the pumpkin Ghosts come play" "Halloween, oh, happy day" " Halloween, oh, happy day" " Halloween, oh, happy day" "What are you doing to Salem?" "I heard him screeching." "ZELDA:" "Very funny." "We were singing a Halloween carol." "Yes." "Happy Halloween." "I bet you couldn't sleep last night with all the excitement and anticipation." "I managed." "Oh, that's not the spirit." "Halloween is our favourite holiday." "It's a magical night." "Yes." "Sing it, Zeldie." "[SINGING] Have a jolly-olly Hallo-alloween" "Please stop singing." "Look, I'm trying, okay?" "I'm going to school in a costume." "Guess who I am." "Sally Jessy Raphael." "What, do I need a microphone?" "That is the lamest costume I've ever seen." "It's just a pair of glasses." "There's no fooling you." "Well, if you can do better, be my guest." " There." " Much better." "What did you do?" "Oh, man." "Next up, we are going to talk to a teenage witch and her aunts who take things too far." "BOTH [SINGING]:" "Have a jolly-olly Hallo-alloween" " Have a jolly-olly Hallo-alloween" " Have a jolly-olly Hallo-alloween" "Does this make my butt look big?" "Hey, Sabrina." "I got something for you." "It's kind of last minute, but here." "My parents are making me have a Halloween party." "Bummer." "Next thing you know they'll make you go on a ski trip." "No, see my dad always buys in bulk at these discount clubs, and we got a lot of snack food that expires in November." "Oh, so that's why it says "all food must be eaten by midnight."" "I'm thinking about going as James Dean." "I love James Dean." "Yeah, and all I need's a white T-shirt, some jeans, and something to lean on." "Anyway, I was hoping you could come early and help me set stuff up." "I can't." "[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]" "I've got a family thing." "My aunts take Halloween very seriously." "I know it's weird." "No, no, my mom's that way about Flag Day." "Well, I wish I could help." "I feel really bad." "I got your invitation, Harvey." "See you at 8." "Unless you need me to come early and help." " Sure." " No problem." "Hey, and now you don't have to feel bad." " Please, I have to go to Harvey's party." " No." "What if I promise to be with the family all Thanksgiving?" "We're not big on Thanksgiving." "That holiday was started by Puritans, who weren't exactly witch-friendly." "So instead we celebrate a night devoted to little kids dressing up like superheroes?" "That is not what All Hallows Eve is all about." "It's a time for remembering the dead." "Oh, that sounds like fun." "I just know I'll have a terrible time." "And that's what family gatherings are all about." "You think I wanna listen to cousin Marigold brag about how married she is and how single I am?" "No." "But we go, because it's tradition." "And Zelda makes me." "And now you're making me?" "See?" "Tradition." "I tell you what." "If we get back in time, you can still go to Harvey's party, okay?" "Not okay." "Libby's going early, so unless I'm there from the start," "I may as well go to the Other Realm and never come back." "Can I go to Harvey's party?" "It's so unfair." "They can't make me go to the Other Realm." "They made me a cat." "You're messing with the wrong crowd." "So there's no way I can go to Harvey's party?" "There might be." "Get your magic book, turn to full body duplication." "What's that?" "You can make a double that looks and acts just like you." "I'll send my double to the family thing." "No can do." "Your aunts would spot the switch in no time." "Well, then my double will hold my place until I can be with Harvey." "Okay, here goes." "Double, double, toil and trouble." "Bill Shakespeare stole that from us." "What a hack." "It didn't work." "Step aside." "Wow." "amazing." "It can't talk until you give it something to say." "And keep in mind, it can only say three sentences." "Let me think." "I want my double to be positive, because people always feel positive about positive people." "My tuna's coming up." "So let's start with "I'd love to."" "I'd love to." "Okay, and I want me to be a good listener, so let's try "That is so true."" "That is so true." "And we need a universal truth." "Oh, that's easy." ""Mr. Pool can be so annoying."" "Mr. Pool can be so annoying." "Well, then I guess I'm-- We're all set." "Except I need a costume." "Hey, I look really cute." "That is so true." "I like me." "[SALEM CHUCKLES]" "Okay, that's Libby." "She's really annoying." "Mr. Pool can be so annoying." "Now, your mission is to make sure she's never alone with Harvey." "Okay?" "Go." "[DOORBELL RINGS]" "Sabrina?" "You're not supposed to be here." " You are totally butting in." " That is so true." "Hey, Libby." "Hi, Sabrina." "You made it." "You know, you look good as a witch." "Harvey, did you notice I'm dressed as Jackie O?" "Very classy." " You guys wanna come in?" " I'd love to." "Sabrina and I will put out the sodas." "Jackie, you can fill a bathtub with CheeZ-Its." "Yes." "I'm in." "ZELDA:" "Come on, you three." "Even with instantaneous transport, we're going to be late." "SALEM:" "Coming." "Coming." "Salem, you look adorable." "I feel like a Chippendales' cat." " Okay, I'm ready." " You are not going dressed like that." " Well, then I guess I'm not going." " Sabrina," "I know you have something more appropriate." "What about this?" "Please, I only wore this dress to make Granny happy." "Now that she's passed away, I'm done with it." "Oh, come on." "It looks sweet on you." "That's what Granny used to say." "Let's get this show on the road." "ZELDA:" "You look nice, Hilda." " Pass the potatoes." "SALEM:" "Someone's in a hurry." " Happy Halloween." " Hold on." "What colour is my dress?" "Pass the potatoes." "Hilda, you are in big trouble." "Stupid double." "Let's go." "Am I the only one looking forward to this?" "[IN UNISON] Yes." "[THUNDER CRASHES]" "[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING]" "Are we there yet?" "[BELL DINGS]" "Wow." "No wonder my ears popped on the way up." "Oh, the Earth looks so full tonight." " Zelda." " Marigold." "And Hilda." "That outfit always looks so nice on you." "Thank" " Wait." "I see you brought your cat." "But no dates?" "No, Marigold, we're still not married." "Don't, I'll cry." "Oh, and this must be Sabrina." "I heard you'd gone to live with your aunts." " Is it okay?" " Yes, it's fine." "We love having her with us." "Well, a niece, it's almost like having a daughter." "My little girl, Amanda, is right here." "You get to sit with her." "Oh, goodie." "We can talk about dolls." "Zelda, Hilda, you'll sit with me." " And, Salem, you'll be with the cat." "SALEM:" "Swell." "You can all take your seats." "I'm going to check on the consommé, or as Hilda would call it, soup." "What's wrong with soup?" "Don't start." "Oh, look, Uncle Nuhney." "Here, Sabrina." "Uncle Nuhney?" "Uncle Nuhney!" "I can't believe I have to sit at the kiddie table." "I can't believe I have to sit at the kitty table." "Wait, give me a sec." " M'Lady's here." " Who's that?" "Marigold's pet." "She thinks her litter box doesn't stink." "And what a lush." "M'LADY:" "Ooh, catnip." "Don't mind if I do." "SALEM:" "Okay, here we go." "Hello, Salem." "Hello, M'Lady." "Hi, Amanda." "I'm your cousin Sabrina." "You better be nice to me or I'll put you in a jar." "Excuse me?" "I put all the people who aren't nice to me in jars." "This is Mr. Altree." "He tried to teach me math." "Can he breathe in there?" "Yes, I gave him air holes." "Here's a math problem, Mr. Altree." "Five air holes minus one air hole is how many?" "No, please." "I wanna live." "I wanna live." " See, nobody likes pop quizzes." "ALTREE:" "I wanna live." " Do you wanna put someone in a jar?" " No." "My aunts taught me it's not nice to use magic to hurt other people." "Well, my parents let me use magic any time I want, and I don't even have to ask." " Brat." " What was that?" "Nothing." "Why do I have to sit by myself?" "Can't I move over one seat?" "No, I'm saving this for my husband." "Poor Harold's been working so much these days," "I'm not sure he'll make it, but someone's got to bring home the prosciutto." "What's wrong with bacon?" " Aunt Zelda, can we go yet?" " Sabrina, we just got here." "Don't you walk away from me." "I wanna braid your hair." "[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]" "Did anyone eat anything?" "Deenie took a handful of pretzels." "Great." "I'd better refill." "Isn't the music kind of loud, Harvey?" "I don't know." "The neighbours haven't complained." "[SIRENS WAILING]" "I'd better go check that out." "Hey, turn it down." "Will you leave me alone?" "Would you stop smiling at me?" "Oh, you are such a goody two-shoes." "That is so true." "Well, at least you admit it." "You know, I'd like you a lot more if you'd just make fun of people." "But I suppose you would never do that." "Mr. Pool can be so annoying." "That's a start." "You're gonna ruin your dinner." "My parents let me eat ice cream whenever I want." "My nanny said it would rot my teeth, so I put her in a jar." "You know, you should find other ways of dealing with people." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Just that, you know, you don't have to put everyone you don't like in a jar." "That's what my psychologist said." "So I put him in a jar." " Brat." " I heard that one." "Slow down, M'Lady." "Hey, I can handle it." "And that's Harold and me in front of our villa." "You know, if either one of you ever has a honeymoon, you really must take it in the south of France." "On second thought, don't wait." "I wouldn't want you to miss out." "Excuse me." "I am in no hurry to get married." "That's right." "Hilda is single completely by choice, because she refuses to settle for any of the losers she's been dating." "And, Zelda, what's your excuse?" "Zelda doesn't need an excuse." "She's passionate about her intellectual pursuits." "Her love life is all in her head." "Mommy, look what I did." " Is that Sabrina?" " What did you do to her?" "She wouldn't colour with me." "That is so cute." "Can we please go home now?" "I'm really not having any fun." "I'll colour with you, Amanda." "Please let me out." "I chose Jackie because" "Well, I sort of see myself as the first lady of Westbridge High." " That is so true." " Thanks." "This party is dying." "We gotta do something." "Oh, man, the onion dip is bubbling." "What this party needs is something big, something wild." "I know." "Someone should streak." "It's fun, it's fast, it's naked." "I'd love to." " You'd streak?" " I'd love to." "Sabrina, this is a whole new you." "Man, this party is boring." "I'd leave if it weren't mine." "Harvey, I've got it taken care of." "Sabrina's going to streak." "What?" "You're kidding." "Sabrina, look, I appreciate you trying to help out my party, but streaking is never the answer." "Don't you know you'll be teased for the rest of high school?" "That is so true." "Then why are you doing it?" "Mr. Pool can be so annoying." "Don't change the subject." "Look, this isn't like you." "Why are you acting so weird?" "I'd" " Mister" "I can't even talk to you." "I feel so alienated." "Salem, you're the only one who understands me." "Yeah, but it doesn't mean I care." "Dinner's over." "Can we go now?" "We got you out of the jar." "Stop whining." "All right, everyone, time to open presents." "AMANDA:" "Yay!" " Amanda, darling, you go first." "This better be good." "Nothing like watching Halloween through the eyes of a spoiled child." "A solid-gold dolly." "Thank you, Mommy." "It's from Mommy and Daddy." "We got Sabrina something too." "Oh, here you go." "It's from both of us." "Happy Halloween." "Oh, nice card." "Kids love those." "It's a gift certificate to spend half an hour with the deceased of your choice." "What's this?" "You got her a reanimation?" "Those are very pricey." "I want a reanimation." "I want a reanimation." "I want a reanimation!" "This is the weirdest gift." "What do I do with it?" "It's yours to spend as you like." "But you must use it tonight." "The gap between the living and the dead is weakest on All Hallows Eve." "Well, then maybe one of you should use it." "I just wanna get back to Harvey's party and see him dressed like James Dean." "Why not meet the real James Dean?" " I could do that?" "ZELDA:" "Mm-hm." "How does it work?" "Now, you just fill in the name of who you wanna see, and put it through that mail slot." "Now, how do I know I'm gonna get the real James Dean and not the sausage guy?" "First of all, the sausage guy is still alive." "But just in case, write, "Star of Rebel Without a Cause."" "This is so great." "Wait." "I have a better idea." "There." " Now what?" " We leave." "This is your own personal, private moment." " Who'd you choose?" " Hilda." "Sabrina." "Granny?" " I've missed you so much." " Oh, I've missed you too." "Oh, let me take a look at you." "You look so sweet in that dress." "That was a lovely gift." "Harold gave me this." "I picked it out myself." "Which reminds me, Hilda, I got you a little something." "Zelda, you said we weren't gonna exchange gifts this year." "I know, but I couldn't help myself." "Me neither." "Thank God you have each other." "We've been living together way too long." "M'LADY:" "Give that back." "I know when I've had enough catnip." "Oh, no, the cat's soused again." "Why does one of our relatives always have to get drunk?" "SALEM:" "You are not gonna believe what M'Lady just blurted out." " What?" "SALEM:" "Come close." "[WHISPERS] Marigold and her husband are getting a divorce." "I don't believe it." "Marigold is splitting up with Harold?" "Oh, this is the best Halloween ever." "So I moved in with Aunt Hilda and Aunt Zelda." "They do more weird things before 9 a.m. than most people do all day." " They take really good care of me." " I always liked them." "So tell me, how's school?" " Do you still like science?" " Yeah." "My teacher, Mr. Pool, can be so annoying, but he's actually a good guy." "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" "There's a guy I like." "His name's Harvey." "But right now we're just sort of friends." "Oh, well, he'd be a fool if he doesn't fall for you." "You think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." "That's because you are, and smart too." "Thanks, but, Granny, there's something I wanna tell you, only, well, it's kind of strange." "Well, Sabrina, you know you can always tell me anything." "I'm a witch." "Well, dear, as long as you're happy." "The clock's ticking." "Why don't you go outside and find a place to strip?" "I'd love to." "You know, Sabrina, your new do-what-I-say attitude is really great." "Pay attention, everyone." "Midnight is 15 minutes away, and I think you should all pay attention to those windows." "Why, did the Kinkles put on some cheesy ghost show?" "No, but watch closely and you might see a full moon." "SALEM:" "M'Lady also said Marigold went to the south of France alone." "But we saw Harold in the pictures." "SALEM:" "That was a cardboard cutout." "I'm back." "Oh, how was it?" "It was an amazing gift." "I got to see my granny again and tell her everything's okay." "Thanks, Aunt Zelda." "Thanks, Aunt Hilda." "We're glad you liked it." "And now it's time to leave." "Amanda, darling, when someone gives you a gift, you're supposed to say thank you." "Fine." "Thank you." "[GLASS BREAKS]" "Now, that's verging on rude." "We've come to say goodbye and to thank you." "You've made our evening in so many ways." "We hope it wasn't too stressful, you know, planning the party, preparing the food, divorcing Harold." "No, it" " What?" "Oh, we know all about it." "The cat blabbed." "But don't worry, you'll love being alone." "Filling your days with romance novels, Lean Cuisines, Internet chat rooms." "Oh, God." "I'm going to be just like you." "Oh, Hilda, we've made her cry." "Oh, how awful we must feel." "Let's go." "[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING]" "You know, I really had a good time." " Me too." "SALEM:" "Me three." "I told you family gatherings were fun." "It's still better to be a divorcée than a spinster, right?" "Ah, stuff it." "Mommy, I'm hungry." "I want a hamburger." "Not now, dear." "It's not a good time." "But I want it now." "Now." "Now." "Now" "I think somebody needs a time-out." "You'll be sorry." "I'm telling Daddy where you hid the silver." "Oh, really?" "Whoa." "What happened to Harvey's party?" "Oh, I decided to stay in and read some of Granny's letters." "Are you nuts?" "You can't leave a double running around." "Oh, I forgot." "I gotta change." "Wait, I'm a witch." "Now, I've got your clothes." "I'll wait for you on the other side." "Count of 10." "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six," " five, four," " Oops." "I'm already here." "three, two, one." " Hey, what's everyone looking at?" " Sabrina's gonna streak." "There she is." "[ALL CHEERING]" "I can't believe Sabrina did that." "I didn't." " That wasn't me." " Sabrina, you're here." " Yeah, where else would I be?" " Libby couldn't make you streak." "But then who was that?" "I don't see Libby anywhere." "I guess it must've been her." "That was Libby?" "Hey, everybody, that was Libby streaking." "[ALL LAUGHING]" "Wasn't that fun?" "[ALL CHEERING]" "I'm glad you all enjoyed it." "How'd you get in here so quick?" "What?" "I've been here the whole time." "I just gave you your clothes outside." "Oh, give it up, Libby." "We all know you're the one who streaked." " I did not." " Yes, you did." "We saw your butt." "That was not me." "You are all so immature." "Well, my aunts were right." "Halloween is a magical night." "I know I blew up at you before, but do you think you could stay late and help me clean up?" "I'd love to." "I mean, I'd really enjoy that." "But first I've gotta get some fresh air." "Hey, I don't blame you." "Those expiration dates are a lot more precise than you'd think." "Sabrina." "Sabrina." "Hey, look at you." "You put your dress on backwards." "Man, I'm a mess." "Come on, let's get it together." "Great." "Everything is back to normal." "That is so true." "Weird." "Hi, I'd like to take half a minute to talk to you about the true meaning of Halloween." "It's not about candy and costumes." "It's about family and showing them how much you care." "So don't buy into the hype and commercialisation of the season." "This Halloween, stay home with your loved ones." "Just gather round the jack-o'-lantern, and remember, the true meaning of Halloween is inside you." "Right, Salem?" "There's a pound of candy corn inside me." "[SALEM CHUCKLES]" "Ignore him." "Happy Halloween."