"THE ROAD TO SANTIAGO (At the End of the Road)" "Look, I don't feel like it, José." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "No." "As soon as you see them you'll feel like it." "Blah, blah." "These two look like models." "Right now, I'd rather be alone." " What do you mean?" " Alone, thinking about things." "That's not being alone, that's being an asshole." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "They're really hot, and if you want to forget her..." " Don't even mention her." " I won't." "But, two things." "First, everybody's been dumped some time." "You're not the first one." "And second..." "Hey!" "José?" "What's the second?" "The second is that these girls are different." "Listen, Nacho, they're not your typical bimbos." "The girls tonight are students." "Why are you in my shower?" "I can hear you perfectly." "No, you can't." "You haven't heard me since you split up, and that hurts me." "Know why?" "Because I'm your friend." "And I love you." "I'm no fag, but I love you, OK?" "OK." "So what do they study?" "But we've just been in bed." "That's irrelevant." "How can it be irrelevant?" "You screw me at 9:00, and at 9:45 you say you want to leave me?" "Couldn't you have thought about it sooner?" " That's not what I said." " So what did you say?" "Try to understand, Pilar." "I'm immobilized, paralyzed." "I realized this weekend in the chairlift at Cerler." "What did you realize?" "What?" "I'm in a crisis." "Look, are you leaving me or not?" "Please, don't hassle me." "After three years, can't you tell me if you're leaving me or not?" "No, I can't tell you right now because I'm paralyzed." "When you were screwing me an hour ago you weren't paralyzed." "Arturo, we know each other." "You screwed someone this weekend in Cerler." " Didn't you?" " No." "I mean, that's not important." " You did!" " Look..." " Bastard!" " I don't know how it happened." "I love you." "And I used a condom, I swear." "I'm in the middle of a crisis!" "Can't you help me out?" "You son of a bitch." "Are you apologizing for screwing around or saying you want to leave me?" "I don't know." " Great!" " Where are you going?" "That's right." "Where am I going?" "You're the one who's going." "So, get moving." "What?" "Go away." "I don't want to see you." "And I want to have dinner here, because I know what I want." "Scram." "You're going to eat on your own?" "Is it OK if I have the gnocchi first?" "They're fantastic here." "Go away." "OK, but that's no way to treat me." "Dickhead." "That's great!" "I'm all messed up and you insult me." "Unbelievable." "Thank you." "Enjoy your meal." "Do you follow me?" "Weigh it up." "What's more important?" "Knowing how to listen, or knowing how to screw?" " Well..." " Listen?" "Wrong!" "Look, a cat knows how to listen." "And so does a geranium." "But do you think humans have got to where we are by listening to each other?" "No!" "No!" "The human species has progressed by screwing each other." "They're laughing." "Listening is overrated in our society." "Yes or no?" "I think knowing how to listen..." "No, you start by listening and you end up losing hope." "Why are you so quiet?" "Don't you like screwing?" "If you have to screw so that humanity can progress, you screw!" "Exactly!" "Well said!" "Let's go to the washroom." "Don't get lost." "Well?" " What?" " What?" "They're a bit stupid." "A bit?" "No, they're not a bit stupid, they're very stupid." "You want to screw Stephen Hawking?" "You told me they were students." "But are they hot or not?" " Yes, they are..." " They're two goddesses." "They've come down to earth to make you and me happy tonight." "Yeah, but I'm still..." "You're just out of practice." "If you go steady for so long you forget how the deal works." "What deal?" "I'll tell you something." "I think" "we'll tell these two that... and we'll have a two by two." "Shall we order dessert?" "We should have dessert at his place." " At my place?" " Sure." "Nacho's a professional photographer." "Yes, he is." "He might do a book for you." "That's very interesting." "And he's specialized in artistic portraits, very delicate stuff." "I always try to give an artistic touch to my photos." "A genius." "So." "Should we go, or should we stay?" " Hello." " Well!" "Hello." "I was listening to your friends while you were in the washroom and they just want to screw you." "Well, he'd like to have an orgy but this one can't stand you." " They think you're stupid." " No, no..." "Really stupid." "Anyway, excuse me." "Let's go." "Girls, girls!" "To tell you the truth, I'm glad." "Yes." "No, nothing's happened with Arturo." "At least, nothing serious, that is." "It's just..." "Nothing, he says that he's in a crisis and he feels immobilized and he..." "The bastard screwed some girl this weekend." "Hello." "No, I don't want to see him or talk to him or anything." "All I want now is to feel calm." "I just want to be left in peace." "No!" "All I want is to be alone!" "Alone?" "What for?" "Alone so I can... be alone." "I like Arturo, you make a good couple and anyone can slip up." "You like him because he's your brother, and don't defend him!" "OK, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." " About Arturo?" " Yes and no." "About couples in crisis." "There's an Argentinean guru who's a real knock out." "You go with him for a week to some special place, like Machu Picchu or Tibet, somewhere, and he fixes your relationship problems." " Just like that?" " Not exactly, he charges 20,000." "You want me to spend all that to fix things with Arturo?" "Something much better." "I want you to go along and write an article." "Give me a good reason, I'm in no mood for trips." " All right..." " And don't say you're my boss." "That's an excellent reason but I'll give you an even better one." "No one's ever managed it." "And I have to go with Arturo." "Darling, I'm talking about work." "W-O-R-K." "The photographer will act as your boyfriend." "What?" "Come on, we've done inside reports before." "You'll pretend to be a couple so you can be with the guru and do the article." "OK, two questions." "First one, who's the photographer?" "Garrido?" "No, no." "Santolalla?" "Who is it?" "All the staff photographers are busy." "He's new, I can't remember his surname." "Nacho something or other." "He's got very good references." "The second question." "What exactly do you mean by pretend to be "a couple"?" "That's up to you, but Olmo mustn't find out you're not a couple." "Where is this seminar anyway?" " In Machu Picchu?" "No." " The pyramids of Egypt." " No." " The Atacama desert?" " No." "It's a magical place, but a little nearer." "Excuse me, ma'am, the Camino de Santiago?" "Ma'am!" "O Camino de Santiago?" "Really!" "No, I still haven't met Pilar, and I haven't seen Olmo either." "I haven't seen anyone here." "How am I supposed to recognize him?" "Yeah, a journalist." "I know I'm a journalist but this place is full of pilgrims." "How will I know Olmo?" "Does he have a cape, a magic wand or...?" "Olmo." "Wait, I think I've seen him." "I'll call you later." "I]" "Excuse me." " Are you Olmo?" " What do you think?" "Yeah, of course." "I'm Nacho, pleased to meet you." "Take a tee shirt and join the others." "No photos, you say." "I like to take photos of all the trips I make, as a memento, but some other time..." "All right, see you later." "Hello." "I'm Nacho, and I'm in a crisis too." "I'M IN A CRISIS" "In a crisis, he says." "That's a good one." "I'm Antonio, a pleasure." "The woman eating a sandwich is Bea, my wife." "It's not a sandwich, it's a Galician pastry." "He hasn't got a clue." "Hi, there." "What a woman." "Like I say, if we're here it's because we're really screwed!" "What are you laughing about?" "Nothing in particular." "So where's your girlfriend?" "She's lost, I guess." "Lost..." " That's a good one." " All right, all right!" "It's a real pleasure." "You're obviously a nice person." "Shit, Antonio..." " Antonio..." " The compass." " Enjoy your meal." " Thank you." "I'm Nacho." "Kim, and my wife, Sum." "A pleasure." " Are you Chinese, Japanese...?" " Korean." "From South Korea." "She says not a pleasure, didn't want to come to Spain, didn't want to do the Camino and not in crisis." "She say she just sick of me and want go back to Korea." "And very sorry she doesn't speak Spanish." "Maybe you'll be lucky this week and bit by bit things will sort themselves out." "How can things get sorted out in six days?" "And we're paying a fortune." "Because paying that amount of money just to walk to Santiago..." "If we were even going on horseback along the Mino river." "Bea, don't start, please." "Look, there's Olmo." "Good evening." "I'd like to introduce the last member of our group." "Pilar, Nacho's girlfriend." "You?" "Yes, yes, yes." "It's me, Nacho, your boyfriend." "Don't you remember me?" "I remember you all right." " They're worse than us." " Welcome, Pilar." "Haven't you seen each other for a while?" " No." " Yes." " That is, yes, but no." " Yes, but no." " Our relationship is complicated." " Very complicated." "That's why we're here, to try to solve a few things." "Like everyone, right?" "No, I can't spend a week with this..." "I'm sorry, I can't pretend to be your girlfriend." "Neither can I." "There's no time to change." "Olmo has met you now." "Don't you realize?" "Look, what's the problem with you two?" "Give me that for a minute." "Look, Inma," "I really appreciate the chance to do this article, but Pilar doesn't want to be with me, nor I with her." "And I don't want to be here doing the lotus posture, but here I am." "What exactly is going on there?" "Pilar and I had a little confrontation in a restaurant because she's an interfering smartass." "No, I did it to warn two poor girls that you were two macho shits." "Moron!" "Did you hear that?" "She just called me a moron." "Put this on speaker." "Listen, both of you." "Olmo thinks you're a couple." "The magazine has spent 20,000 plus travel costs and I'm about to give birth so I don't give a shit about your problems." "You're staying there six days and you're going to bring me a fantastic article." "Otherwise, you shouldn't have accepted the job, OK?" "Now, get to work." "Kisses." "But..." "Well?" "I'm the writer here, I'm the one in charge." "OK, whatever you say." "At least, we won't have to share a bed, will we?" "No, we're in a crisis." " Separate beds." " Just as well." " I'll tell you something." " Go ahead." "The others think we're a couple, but if you dare lay a hand on me, I'll cut it off." " What?" " You heard." "You should be so lucky, but you're not my type." "So, get going." "And you...!" "Just as athletes go to the gym to exercise their muscles, we have to exercise our relationship as a couple." "How do we do that?" "It's easy, with little exercises that help." "We'll start with something very simple." "A good night kiss." "Kiss who?" "Our partner." "Bea, if you don't mind, we'll demonstrate." "Me?" "Good night, Bea." "Good night, OI..." "It's important to kiss every day." "With your tongue, even if you don't feel like it." "It's very healthy and strengthens the relationship." "He's giving your wife a hell of a smooch." "OK, OK, I think we've all got the idea, haven't we?" "OK, all right..." "Like that, every night." "Today we're going to Sarria." "It's a long walk, it'll take us all day." "But I'd like to introduce a couple who've joined us at the last minute." "They're from Madrid, José and Fran." "Hello, you're welcome!" "How are you?" "We're the last to arrive, but here we are." "And we've brought all our gear with us!" "This is my companion, Fran." "He's a bit shy." "Say hello to these nice people." "You're not a mute." "Hi, there, folks." "We've got a right couple of faggots here." "Well, we're all here." "Let's go." "Shit, the Camino de Santiago." "What are you doing here?" "And with him?" " Don't be so rude!" " I'm doing the same as you." "No, you're not, I'm working." "You're here to score, Nacho." "I know you." " Right, we know you." " What's with you?" "You turn up here with your cousin..." "What are you up to?" " Careful, careful." " Why?" "Careful, my cousin is a terrific guy." "I had to have a partner, so I brought Fran." "He needs a bit of a shake-up." " Yes or no?" " Thanks, José." "You have to leave, you'll screw up the article." "Are you serious?" "First of all, this place is full of girls in crisis." "Secondly, on the Camino everyone screws like rabbits." " Yes or no?" " Like rabbits." "And thirdly," "I've paid my 20,000 euros." "What?" "You paid to do the Camino with your cousin?" " We've paid 20,000 euros?" " Will you shut up!" "Well, I paid with a check and the account is a bit..." " You'll get us in a mess." " No way." " Shit, you..." " No, I won't get you in a mess." "What the hell's going on here?" "Is this your girlfriend?" "I think you know her already." "Hell, you're..." "Yeah, the one who screwed up the deal." "That's right." "What are you doing here?" "That's what I was wondering." "What are you doing here?" " Who's this, your boyfriend?" " Francisco Gutierrez, a pleasure." "I've got a question for you." "Which is more important, knowing how to listen or how to screw?" "Not with her, Fran." "If you'll excuse us, we're falling behind." "The group'll be wondering." "See you later." "God bless." "Bye, Pilar." "Fucking hell." "José, are you sure we'll get laid?" "Shut up and keep walking." " What are you writing?" " A diary of the trip." "Wow, a diary!" "Look at him, lying sleeping like a basset hound." "That's how he spends his day, sleeping and walking." "If it's worked for others there's something to it, right?" "Kim, you came from Korea just to be with Olmo, didn't you?" "Imagine coming from Korea!" "I don't mind, if it solves problems with Sum." " What's she saying?" " Sum say Olmo fraud." "I agree with Sum." " Then why did you come?" " Because this one insisted." "We even mortgaged the taxi to get the 20,000." "Bea, don't bother them with stories that don't interest them." "You got a loan to come here?" " If you put it like that..." " Yes, we did." "I thought this was for people with money." "We haven't got money, but we've got three great kids and we've never gone short." "Just like us, darling." "We've never gone short either." " I like Olmo." " I think he's great." "You think everyone's great." "You can be so dumb." "Everyone stand up." "I'm going to take your photo." "Come on." "Cheese!" "You have to look hard at them." "What for?" "Shit, so that they realize we're looking at them." "Hi, girls." "Hi." "Do you come here often?" "They're foreign." " Shall I say something?" " No, leave it to me." "Let's see." "Are you leaving?" "Oh well,..." "French girls are always in a hurry." "Now what?" "Now, nothing." "We know there's nothing doing with those two." "Two less to waste our time on." "Yes or no?" "Francisco, we have to concentrate." "Right!" "Right!" "I don't think gyms are really..." "I go to the same gym." "Yeah, he goes too, but it's not a gay gym." "No, it's a gym for everyone." "You hear the words "gym", "sauna"..." "Right!" " Are you OK?" " What a whack!" "You should know the Camino's vocabulary!" "And you should be careful about people walking!" " We're all pilgrims." " I shouted "Right" twenty times." "You've got a helmet." "The walker comes off worst." " I'm sorry." " Like hell, I nearly got killed." " He's a miserable creep." " Didn't you hear him apologize?" "Maybe he's a bit deaf." " Asshole." " What!" "What did you say?" "Did he call you an asshole?" "I don't think it was me in particular." "I'll show you, you little bastard." " You can shove the bike." " Shit, you come here." "That Chinese guy turns me on." "Kim?" " Yeah, what about it?" " Nothing." "Kim!" "Hit him!" "Everything OK?" "Thanks." "I think I've hurt my knee." "No, I was talking about the camera." "The camera..." "Fuck it!" "No, the camera isn't OK." "Let's try to be a bit more careful." "We're not here on vacation." "Hey, I've still got the little one!" "Good night." "Nacho, will you put some cream on me?" "Me?" " Please." " All right." "Thanks." "My whole body aches." "I can't even move." ""Bisolfer" isn't bad but "Geobocid" is better and "Saltratos" is even better." "9 out of 10 podologists recommend it, it's got more mineral salts..." "How do you know so much about it?" "Everyone knows that." "Do you want a massage?" "I'm very good at massages." " No." " Come on." "No, don't bother!" "It's no bother, I'm happy to do it." "And we're a team, right?" "If you say so." "Did you know that in some cultures a foot massage is considered a sexual act?" " Don't talk rubbish." " It's true." "Look, the whole body is in the feet." "The little toe is the head." "The fourth toe is the back." "The middle toe is the chest." "The index toe is the legs." "And the big toe is..." "I think that's enough for today." " Pilar!" " I don't want any more massages!" "It's not that." "Your shoe..." "Oh, right." "Good night, Pilar." "That's it." "Now we're all united." " I don't understand." " Don't worry, Kim." "There's nothing to understand." "We're tied together." "Birds of a feather..." "Not "tied", "united", it's very different." " How long is this for?" " This is a bit tight." "Don't be such a nancy." "It's tight, he says." "Really, darling..." " No one is forced to do anything." " But we have to go like this." "You'll see how important it is to spend 24 hours close to each other." "But we can go the bathroom alone, can't we?" "At least for bigger matters, I mean..." "You can't separate." " Not at all?" " It's a long walk to Portomarin." "And today, we have new teeshirts." "I'M A BIT BETTER" "That's too long." "So, get going." "I don't think it's long." "I told you, and he said so." "It's very long." "That's OK now." "What do you think?" "Right." "That's it." " I'm sorry to bother you with this." " That's OK." "My bank called, it seems there's a problem with your check." "I don't usually have problems with checks." "It seems it bounced." "You're kidding, Olmosl" " Did you hear, Fran?" " Yes, I heard." "And I had to tell you." "Of course, I appreciate that." "Today I'll sort it all out." "In the next town, I'll call my bank and order a transfer." "A transfer, or a check from another account?" " A transfer, thank you." " That's it settled." " It's only money." " These days, the banks..." " What about the banks?" " You can't trust them." "Move, move." "OK, we have to be tied together." "OK, we've paid what we've paid." "But sleeping on the ground is going a bit far." "I love sleeping in the country in the open air." " It's good to sleep under the stars." " Yeah, sure, he hasn't got sciatica." "There aren't any girls here, just cows and cowpies." "Shut up and get out the camping stove." "I don't believe in this magic stuff but it's amazing." "You only see him from behind, or back lit or out of focus..." "It's possible the photographer isn't very good." "Look, I haven't got a photo of Olmo and you've got nothing to write." " Are there no more?" " Yes, but they haven't come out." "There's something about Olmo..." " That's personal." " When did you take these?" "They're for the article." "Are they private or are they for the article?" "I'm a photographer." "I take photos." "I don't think I have to give you any explanation." "That's all I need." " Nacho!" " Pilar!" "We're going to play "The best moment in my relationship"." "Come on!" "Play what?" "Do we have to be tied all night?" "It's a bit uncomfortable." " I've almost got used to it." " Get off." "José, no one is obliged here." "But I think you should stay tied together." "Antonio, when you're ready." "I'm a bit embarrassed about being the first." "Let's see." "I can't remember the best moment in my relationship but I remember one day, just after Julia was born..." "Antonio, these people don't know us." "Julia is the youngest, Juan Vicente is..." "OK, OK." "Listen to her!" "Just after she was born in the hospital," "I didn't sleep a wink all night because with Social Security you have to share a room, right?" "I got up and I saw Beatriz sleeping in the hospital bed, in that horrible green gown they give you," "and beside her, my daughter." "She looked so tiny in the cot." "And I thought that" "I wouldn't change that moment for anything in the world and I can't really explain it" "but I started to cry." "You started crying in the hospital?" "You're such a softie!" "Stupid, isn't it?" "You'd have to be stupid!" "Fuck!" "Shit, that's lovely." "Nacho, your turn." "I can't think of anything right now." "Right, as he's in a crisis, he can't..." "Yeah." "It's a pity to lose your chance." "No, wait, I've got it." " You do?" " Yes." "The best moment in my relationship was the first time I saw her." "I mean, saw you." "Was it long ago?" " A really long time ago." " Yes, ages ago..." "But I remember it as if it were last week." "I was in a restaurant trying to pick up someone else." "She really put me down and wrecked the plan." "I did it on purpose." "Yeah, but I thought," ""Shit, I like her"." "Who, me?" "Yeah, I thought, "She's a real pain who sticks her nose in, but I like her."" "Why did you think that?" "That's what I want to know." "Maybe because I liked that you defended some girls you didn't even know or maybe it was chemistry because that's amazing, right, Olmo?" "That's what you thought the first time you saw me?" "Yeah, it is." " He didn't tell me." " Nor me." "Night, we drank a lot." "Made love in a restaurant washroom." "Then three more times that night." "Also with anal sex." "Then she swallows my semen." "First time Sum swallow my semen." "Very significant for me." "Great moment in relationship." "Then never swallow semen again." "My best moment in whole relationship." "Very good." "Very nice." "Hats off to Sum." "Nacho..." "WEEK?" "What you said before about you know..." " The first time you saw me..." " What about it?" "Why did you say it?" "I had to say something, we're supposed to be a couple." "Right." "You didn't think I was serious?" "No, no way." " You don't attract me." " Same here." "Not in the slightest." "No one could attract me less." " I really mean that." " So do I." "I want you to know I don't like you at all." "You said that already." " How was last night?" " How many went down?" "I'm not the kind that goes round telling secrets about girls." "Maybe not now, but we always told each other everything." "Maybe I'm changing on the Camino." "You're what?" "What?" "This article is affecting your mind." "It's a lie, she isn't your girlfriend." "You're doing this to write an article." "She won't even remember you tomorrow." "That's right, girls are the pits." "Shut up." "And for your information maybe I won't remember her." " You?" " Me." "If a girl says hello to you, you fall in love." "This time it'll be different, I'll ignore her." "Yeah, sure." "You'll end up proposing, like you did the last time." " You're a real bastard..." " It's for your own good." "I've told you already." "It's much better if I screw her." " José, forget me." " You forget me." "Be careful." "Skip it, we have to concentrate on ourselves." "I liked you better when you photographed analgesics." "I'M CLOSER" "Now that you're an important photographer you're big headed." " Yes or no?" " Yes." "Then fucking tell him!" " And there's the other thing." " What's that?" "Sleeping with other people." " Is Nacho doing that?" " No, not Nacho." "So who are you talking about?" "I'm talking about... people in general." "And I'm talking about me too." "I didn't want to sleep with Nacho." "Don't you realize?" "Why not, if he's your boyfriend?" "Yes, but I... no..." " No what, Pilar?" " No, I..." "It's one thing if my boyfriend sleeps with others, but I don't want to do it." " Don't do it." " But I have already!" " You've done it?" " Yes, and now I'm like him." " Who did you sleep with?" " Someone who isn't my boyfriend." " What's your advice?" " Nothing." " Nothing?" " No." "Right, you never say anything." "For 20,000, you could manage a few words." "Do you help people or not?" "And I don't mean walking with them, I mean really helping." "What do you want, Pilar?" "Me?" "I want to be happy and I don't want my boyfriend sleeping around." "Last night I slept with Nacho and now I feel like shit!" "Chief Olmo, we are walking three hours without stopping." " Do we stop or keep walking?" " Yes." " Yes, what?" " We're going to keep walking." "Closer to what?" "I guess closer to..." "Santiago!" "It must be that, because as far as solving our problems goes..." "I think we're advancing." "I notice it." "Advancing in what?" "We haven't advanced in years." "Look at last night." " What happened last night?" " What happened?" ""The best moment in my relationship"." "Didn't you like the story I told?" "Yes, it was lovely, Antonio." "That's the problem." "The Chinese guy talked about an amazing screw with his wife, and Nacho about the first time he saw his girlfriend." "But having three kids and a family is more important than that." "Exactly, you only see me as the mother of your kids, not your lover!" "I remember perfectly the first time I saw you." "At the Karaoke in the Plaza Eliptica." "When was the last time we sang together?" " I can't remember right now, but..." " No buts, Antonio." "And when was the last time we really screwed?" "I don't mean a quick tumble," "I mean really screw, like we used to." " What's sex got to do with karaoke?" " A lot, that's what." "We've lost the spark in bed and out of it too." "And I want more." " What more do you want?" " I want lots more." " But more of what?" " That's for you to find out." "You not have good sex with your wife?" " Shit, are you always listening?" " Yes." "You think I don't remember the first song we sang together?" "I remember perfectly." "It was..." "I'll leave my land for you and go far away from here." "I'll cross the garden crying and with your memories" "I'll go far away from here." "During the day I'll live thinking of your smile." "During the night the stars will keep me company." "You'll be like a light that shines upon my path." "I'm leaving but I swear that I'll be back tomorrow." "Come on!" "When I leave, a kiss and a flower, an "I love you", a caress and a goodbye." "I love you, Beatriz!" "I'm traveling light..." "Be careful, you might catch an infection!" "Drinking directly from the river!" "What a man!" "You always play safe." " Water delicious." " Yes, delicious." "I'll give you water." "How are those photos?" "Fucking...!" " Do you see what you did?" " I'm sorry." "Now this one's wrecked too." "Cameras aren't what they used to be." "This isn't how I work." "It's not the way to do things." "I can't work like this." "Yeah, I know that." "Things aren't going well with Nacho." "My waters could break at any minute." "What do you think of that?" "That's great, Inma, I'm delighted, but I..." "I can't take any more." "Now what's wrong?" "What's wrong is that last night Nacho and I had a... an encounter inside the sleeping bag." " You screwed Nacho?" " A bit." "How was it?" "Awful, terrible, because I still feel something for Arturo." " I can't screw the first man I see." " It seems you can, dear." "It's your fault." "If it weren't for the article." "I'd never have slept with Nacho." "Get me out of here!" "I can write the article with what I've seen." "No, you can't, because the best part is getting to the end and seeing if Olmo solves the couples' crises." "Please, don't do this to me." "I'm begging you, get me out." "Don't worry about Arturo." "He's called several times to ask where you are." "Don't say anything to Arturo." "I'll call him when I get back." "I'm dying to see him, but not now." "I can't talk to him." "No, promise me." "Four" " Your turn." " I can't do as many." "Come on." "Four and a half." " It was hardly even four!" " Yeah, right." "Perfect stone is convex, create pocket air between stone and water, bounce more." "Shut up and just throw." " Five, six!" " Shit, the stone was convex." "I'm first in the nationals, and the Chinese is in the lead in the internationals." "What a bitch!" "HIDE!" " Give me a stone." " Here, the record is six skips." "Know what's wrong with girls?" " What?" " They're evil." " Really evil." " Evil like..." " Evil." " Evil." "Shit!" "Fucking hell!" "It's you again, you bastard!" "We'd better go, it's getting late!" "We have to go." "Come on, we have to go." "The hostel is beautiful." "I'm so thrilled!" "Yes, it's lovely." "Look at how she gets!" "I want to talk to you." "To me?" "I'm delighted, because I want to talk to you too." "I was just saying to Fran," ""I want to talk to Olmos about money"." "That's exactly what he was saying." " Really?" " Really." "As we were sleeping in the open I couldn't get to a bank." "Of course." "You're wondering, "Why couldn't José phone his bank?"" " I am wondering that." " You see?" "I did call, and you know what the bank said?" "I haven't got the slightest idea." "They said that the problem with the dud check is technical." "So it's all been solved." "You can take your check to the bank tomorrow." " Tomorrow?" " Tomorrow." "I don't know." "I'll go with you." "No, even better, Francisco can go with you." "Me?" "He needn't bother." "But you know if it bounces again we'll have a problem." "Of course, I know that." "Let's rest up, we're all exhausted." "Let's see if we can sleep in a real bed because the soles of my feet are raw." "I'M NOT PERFECT" "OK, if nobody's going to say anything, I'll try." "I admit that I'm not perfect, at times I'm a bit selfish and I don't always treat you very well." "That's it." "Do you approve of that, Fran?" "I don't think he really means it." "What?" "I'm sorry, but that's what I think." "You always treat me like you were superior." " Me?" " Yes, you." "And when you have the chance to admit it, you still do it, as if you were above me and above everyone else." "Wait a minute, Francisco." "I've made an effort." "I stood up here and said a couple of stupid things but if you don't approve, we're never going to have our fucking supper!" "Sorry." "Are you stupid or are you a mental retard?" "Did you all see that?" "That's what he's like." "Olmos, this guy is an idiot." " No insults, please." " I apologize." "I want to try." "OK." "I admit that at times I am a teeny bit bad tempered." "Aren't I?" "And if I've had a bad day I'm not very affectionate to you." "But you, you always look like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth and underneath he's as bad as his mother." " Bea..." " All right." "I really love you." "And I apologize for not being perfect." "But you're so dumb you bring out the worst in me." "Bea!" "All right." "But it doesn't matter, because I'm apologizing publicly." "How's that?" "What do you say, Antonio?" "Don't get angry but that doesn't seem like an apology." "At this rate, we'll never eat!" "Even if no supper, Chief Olmo says we can drink." "Pilgrim wine is good." "Good, he says." "This wine is "Don Simon"." "You understand. "Don Si-mon"." "He's Chinese." "My turn." "When you're ready, Nacho." "I admit that I'm an idiot." "I believed Pilar and I had something special." "But as I've seen we didn't, I'm a fucking idiot." "What do you mean?" "You know what I mean." "If you're so keen to be elsewhere with other people, why are you here?" "Where did you get that idea, love?" "From where I got it." "Why did you tell Inma that you didn't want to sleep with me, that you regretted everything and missed I don't know who?" " Were you spying on me?" " Yes, I was." "I admit that I'm not perfect and that I was spying on you." "But that's not what matters." "What matters is you're a liar and I understand perfectly why that Arturo dumped you." " What?" " What?" " What?" " What?" "Who is Arturo?" " A lot of things separate us." " A lot." "But the first and main one is that I'm a professional, not totally useless like you!" "And I don't mean just in bed." "You can't even take one lousy photo!" "What brought that up?" "She means they won't have any nice mementos of this trip." "You're manipulative, and a liar, and frigid." "Yes, frigid, that's why you caused the scene in the restaurant." "You can't bear to see others having fun." "You've gone too far." "The idea is to see your own defects, not your partner's." "Frigid?" "Me, frigid?" "Yes, I know it for a fact because we're a couple, like it or not." "You know what?" " What?" " It's..." " What is it?" "What is it?" "It's that you're so fast it doesn't even give me time to get warmed up!" "And for your information, I'm multi-orgasmic!" "What?" "Yes." "Multi-orgasmic." "Is good or bad?" "Fucking terrific." "Were you waiting for me?" "Yes." "Do you always brush your teeth with people?" "No, don't think I do this with just anybody." "Today we'll pay special attention to the premolars." "Right!" "That's it?" "And I've brought" "dental floss with wax." "You're going too fast." "What..." "What's your name?" "Laura!" " My father." " I was looking for you." " Well, I'm here." " I see you're here." " Who's this?" " Hello, I'm José." "A pleasure." " Your first time on the Camino?" " Yes, it is." "I'm a great devotee of the apostle." "We're not." "We do the Camino to be in contact with nature." " That's nice." " Yes, we love nature." "That's even better." "I'm..." "I'm an ecologist." "I'm a vegetarian too." "I'm quite vegetarian." "Laura, we have to go to bed." "Tomorrow it's a long walk to Monte Do Gozo." "Well, I have to go." "See you tomorrow." "Yes, I'll see you tomorrow on the Monte del Gozo." "Monte do Gozo." "Good night." "If she looks back, she likes me." "Look back." "Look back." "What are you doing there?" " Are you drinking?" " No, no." "I was looking for you." "You've found me." "I admit I'm not perfect." "I admit I'm very angry and I didn't think things out." "No, I know." "I'm not angry because you spied on me, even though you did, but that's a different matter." "I'm angry with myself because" "I don't know what I'm doing and above all because... because" "I liked the other night." "You did?" "I don't get this, Pilar, because..." "You liked it?" " If you did, why are you angry?" " I don't want to like it." "But you told Inma you were sorry you'd slept with me and you wanted out of here." "Or didn't you say that?" "Don't you see?" "I want to leave because I liked last night." "But it's crazy to leave a place because you like something." "Wouldn't you do it?" "It depends." "It depends on..." "It depends on lots of things." "So you liked last night?" "A lot." "Would you like a foot massage?" "We'd stopped at the big toe, hadn't we?" "I love the big toe." " You like it?" " I love the big toe." " You like the big one?" " Yes, I like it." "I warn you, I've drunk too much." "I may not be at my best today..." " Will you shut up?" " I'll shut up." "I've never showered with a gay before." "And I've never showered with a dickhead before." "Don't get angry, but Antonio's right." "Showering with a gay is a bit odd." "Very fucking funny." "But as sir dipped it last night he's in a good mood." "Shit, you dipped it last night too?" "With the same one?" "I mean, with your girlfriend?" "Of course with the same one." "Who else?" "And is she multi-gasmic?" "That's personal." "With you, not a chance, eh?" "The thing is, Pilar and I are much better, all thanks to Olmo." "This Olmo is a genius." "No, don't thank me, thank the Camino." "What's going on here?" "What's going on here?" "What's going on here?" "Hi, everyone." "I'm Arturo, Pilar's boyfriend." " This isn't what it seems." " Then who's Nacho?" " Yeah, who's Nacho?" " That's me." "I'm Nacho and I'm Pilar's boyfriend." "My heroine:" "multi-orgasmic with two boyfriends." "Exactly." "That's why we're in a crisis." " Have you got two boyfriends?" " Two?" "I'm sorry, Arturo, but yes, I've got two boyfriends." "I mean, they're not boyfriends as such, but I'm with Nacho and with you at the same time." "I'm really sorry." "What is all this?" "Since when?" "And why?" "It's a very long story, let's forget it for now." "It's a very long, very painful story." " I'm not talking to you!" " The three of us should talk, alone." "You knew Pilar was with both of you?" "I knew it, not quite so directly but, yes, I knew." " Nacho very liberal man." " Liberal and cuckolded." "Nacho's right, the three of us should go and talk." "I travel 600 kilometers to see you in the middle of..." "with all these cows and things, and you're with someone else!" "Pilar, I'm disappointed in you, very disappointed." "You screwed someone in Cerler!" "Yes, but this is a very different matter." "Please, let's go somewhere, the three of us, and talk." " Shit, shit!" " It hurts me too." "Don't come near me." "I want to thump someone." "Don't be long, we're leaving for Monte do Gozo in ten minutes!" "Challenge for you, Chief Olmo." "Now is not a couple, is trio." "Some people have all the luck." " So you're not with this guy?" " Nacho." "I told you, we're doing an article and have to pretend to be a couple." "Didn't Inma tell you?" "She wouldn't even tell me where you were." "I took her diary and saw all about the Camino..." " You were about to ruin the article." " You nearly wrecked everything." "I'm sorry, but the thought that you were with someone..." "I was dying to see you." "I don't want to interfere but hadn't you split up?" "No, what happened was that I had a crisis, a little one, but it's all sorted out now." "Yes, but it so happened he screwed someone else." " Let's not start that, love..." " No, I'm not starting, but a crisis is one thing, cheating on your partner is another." "Exactly, if things aren't right with your partner, you don't sleep with the first person you see." "She wasn't the first." "That third person can think you haven't got a partner and when he finds out you've lied he feels like shit." "The girl in Cerler didn't..." "I'm not talking about her precisely." " Who are you talking about?" " I'm talking in general." "You have to be a real bastard, or a number one bitch" "depending on the case..." " Really!" "To cheat on your partner, and on someone else by saying you're single." "I'm lost." "Darling, I promise this will never happen again." "Will you forgive me?" "Yeah, forgive him, what the hell." "Forgive him." "I forgive you, Arturo." "I've had a bad time, but I forgive you, because it's human to make mistakes and I'm very sorry I did it too." "You haven't done anything wrong, you're a saint!" "I wouldn't go that far." "And now that it's all clear, you go back to Madrid and tomorrow night I'll catch a plane back." "No, I'm never separating from you again, my love." "I mean it, never again." "I'll finish the Camino with you." "But..." " You haven't got a backpack or..." " Exactly." "And there's the article." "What would we say to the others?" "That we're a threesome, a modern, open couple." "Yeah, fucking modern." "And don't worry about the backpack." "I can get by with anything." "For a minute I think I believed you were with this guy." "I mean, you with him..." "What about it?" "Don't get me wrong, but..." "The magazine could've found a better "boyfriend" for you." "Did they really believe he was your boyfriend?" "They certainly did." "Pilar, you tell him if they believed it." "OLMO IS LOVE" "ON THE RIGHT ROAD" "Hey, Chinky, Chinky..." "Give me the water bottle, I'm exhausted walking." "My name is Kim, not Chinky, and you not have tee shirt, not from group." "Chinese bastard." "I still have the camera on my phone." "Well, do something, because we're not going to have any photos." "I am sorry Camino ends." "I'm sorry too, especially because it's ending and we haven't..." "Have some faith." "How are you and Fran getting on?" "You're the only ones who haven't talked about your problems." "What a woman, always interfering in other people's affairs." " At least I try to..." " No, I don't mind." "Our problem is that as we've been together so long..." "We don't screw very often." "Hardly ever." " You're not the only ones." " But you can't be in a hurry." "Like I say, everything in it's own time." "But that time never comes and the Camino's almost over." "I have doubt too." "Which of you is active and which is passive?" "What do you mean?" "Who gives and who receives?" "It's obvious, I'm the one who gives, and he receives." " Really?" "I'd never have thought it." " Sometimes it's the reverse." "No, usually you prefer to receive." "Skip it..." "What's she saying?" "Look, I've bought a real pilgrim's cape, with a staff and everything." "Lovely, isn't it?" "Your boyfriend is a bit of a dickhead." "Why judge people by appearances?" " He looks like Batman." " Come off it." "FOLLOW OLMO" "Antonio, come on." "How many kilometers have we done today?" "A thousand?" "The last night on the Camino." "Come on." "Wait!" "Why all the rush, for christsake?" " We have to talk." " About what?" "With Arturo turning up so suddenly, I think I owe you an explanation." "I think you tricked me and took advantage of me." " Took advantage of you?" " Yes." "I thought you'd split up and I'd drunk a lot last night." "Don't talk rubbish, and I didn't exactly say I'd split up." "This is too much." "Arturo's been my boyfriend for three years." "I need a bit of time to think about things." "It's very clear." "If Arturo ignores you, you sleep with me." "But if he turns up you want nothing to do with me." " It's not that." " Yes, it is." " No, it's not." " A "lovers" tiff"?" " What are you talking about?" " Nothing." " Tell him what we're talking about." " No, it's not the moment." " It is." " The moment for what?" "All right, then, let's finish this." "We all make mistakes and recently I've been a bit confused." "I think I'm in a crisis." "In a crisis?" " You screwed this bastard?" " I'm sorry!" "I want you to know now." "I don't know how it happened." "No, I do know, but I'm sorry." "Well, not that much." "Forgive me." "So it's all true, Pilar?" "You slept with this dickhead?" " A little bit." " Twice." " I'll thump you." " What?" "You can't fix everything with your fists!" "But you... with this creep." "He's the kind who goes after girls when their boyfriends aren't there." "Listen, smartass, I didn't know she had a boyfriend!" "Will you shut up?" "You're only making it worse!" "I won't shut up because I've got a lot to say." "I've got a lot to say." "You're the best thing ever and I love you." "What?" "What?" "I love you and I want you with me." "I want you to come back to Madrid with me, not with Arturo." "I love you." "But..." "That's it, I'll kill him." "I'm going to flatten you!" "I'll do you in!" "That's enough, please!" "I said, that's enough!" "Stop it!" "You cheated on me, now I've cheated on you." "We're quits." " But..." " But nothing!" "I'm sick of spending my life waiting for you." ""I'm in a crisis, I'm not sure about us, I screwed someone in Cerler..."" "Exactly." "That's enough, Arturo." "Why don't you leave me alone?" "You can't spend your whole life using me." "And me?" "You?" "Nothing." "I slept with you and I'm sorry I hurt you." "Right now I can't be with anyone." "I'm going to eat." "Watch it!" "When we're alone, you're for it." "What are you saying?" "Forget about me, man." "Fuck you, it's the last one." "I was telling Kim that Sum is looking lovely tonight, isn't she, Antonio?" "Yes, lovely." " You lovely too." " Thank you." "Here, we're all lovely." "Sum thinks you're very handsome too." "She thinks you're attractive, a kind of Latin lover." "How do you know?" "Because we talked about it earlier, right, Kim?" "Yes, we talked." "Sum say, "Antonio handsome."" "Thanks a lot." "And we thought, as this last night on Camino, we four could do something special." "We could swap partners." "You're joking, right?" " José, I was looking for you." " No, not now, Fran." "Yes, now, José." "The Camino ends tomorrow and we haven't scored once." "What you say is right, and it isn't." "Everyone knows you get to Santiago and then you screw everything." "No, either we screw tonight or I'll tell everyone we're not gay." "Tell everyone whatever you want." "In the end, it's all the same to me." "I've..." "You've what?" "I've found what I was looking for." "I've found something pure, something clean." "What are you talking about?" "On the Camino" "I've found a special person." "She's someone different, marvelous." "There she is." "There she is." " Shit, tell her to find me a friend." " No, no." "You can't understand this." "It's totally platonic." "Platonic." " Hi." " How are you?" "I got away, my father's always watching me." " Have you brushed your teeth?" " Forget that rubbish." "I'll see you in the barn at midnight." "And bring condoms." "Condoms?" "And your boyfriend." " What?" " Isn't he your boyfriend?" "I've never done it with a pair of gays and I'm really curious." "I want to do it with both of you." "Like the idea?" "Yes, no, I guess so." "So, has she got a friend?" " We don't need one." " Why?" "You're going to screw tonight." "I am?" "Who with?" " With me." " Quit messing." "We can't take off the blindfold until dawn?" "Exactly." "You can't take it off no matter what happens." " I don't get it." " That's the idea." "But we arranged..." "We arranged to sleep all night, and now with this blindfold..." "We've been doing exercises to think about our partner." "Now we'll try to not think about anything and be carried along by our instincts." "I don't want to disagree but even if we cover our eyes we can still think." "Yes, but we'll have to be guided by what we feel." "All right." "It's very important to wear the blindfold until dawn." "Very few manage it." "So what do we do?" "You can each do as you want, but blindfolded." "It's a case of finding the path." " What path?" " The one to solve our problems." "Each one has his path." " What is prize for winner?" " There are no prizes, Kim." "It's a case of looking without thinking of rewards or anything." "OK, but when does this start?" "It's started already." "Remember you can't remove the blindfold until dawn, no matter what happens." "We can't take off the blindfolds." "If we do, we'll have lost any chance of finding our path." "José, I think we're lost." " If we take off the blindfold...?" " Hang on." " Get the hell out of here!" " Sorry, sorry!" "Don't push me, I'll hit you!" " Sorry, I've got the wrong bed." " No, you haven't, this is your bed." "Olmo?" "Yes." "If you don't mind, as it's the last night, I'd like to sleep here." "Is this a kind of exercise?" "We could say that." "Well..." "You two, it's about time." " Laura?" " We can't take off the blindfolds." "Whatever you say, I love games." "Let's go inside." "Keep to your right." "Hey, José, what if she asks us to smooch each other?" "If you put a hand on me," "I'll knock you through the wall." "What is it, Beatriz?" "The Chinese are waiting." "How can you be sure if you're blindfolded?" "Maybe it's not them and we'll be sleeping with God knows who!" "Don't talk rubbish." "Anyway, it's what you wanted." " What?" " A change." "This is our chance." "But I didn't want you to sleep with a Chinese man!" "I love you." "Now, come on." "Find your path." "Find your path, as if it was so fucking easy!" "You're naked." " Do you mind?" " No, not at all, no way." "Saint James, this is an odd request, especially coming from a guy who's blindfolded, but if the Chinaman could fire a blank tonight" "I promise I'll do the Camino on my knees next year." "I've screwed other girls." "Hell, everyone does that." "But at least they were all much prettier than her." "Who would cheat on their girlfriend with someone uglier?" "Nacho's a lot uglier than I am!" "Am I right or not?" "I said I loved her." "I said she was the best thing ever." "What more do I have to do?" "God, give me a sign!" "Can't you fucking scream somewhere else?" "It's 2:00 in the morning, you dickhead!" "Sorry, sorry." "I'm coming, Beatriz." "Come on, Antonio, come on." "To hell with Blindman's Buff!" "They can play." "They're the ones in a crisis." "I'm fucking great." "So, move." "Get off!" "Go, China!" "Sorry, sorry." "Is it morning yet?" " What?" " No, nothing." "You're looking at me." " Good morning." " Good morning." "We get to Santiago today." "So it seems." " What?" "What is it?" " Well, it's just that..." " Not me..." " Skip it, OK." "I'M A NEW PERSON." "Well, let's get this finished." "Which way is Santiago?" " Apparently it's only five kms." " And it's all downhill." "That's great." "This is a splendid day to finish the Camino." " She told me she had to leave." " Who?" "Pilar." "She told me to say goodbye to you." "She left recently." "Get off bus in Santiago and get train." " She said nothing else?" " No." " Why did she go?" " I guess she's tired." "I don't understand." "I don't understand." "Don't try." "Do something." " And what do I do?" " You shut up." "She didn't even say goodbye to you." "Give me a break." "She didn't tell you anything special." "It was more than she told you." "What bus did she take?" " Those white ones down there." " Dammit..." " Where are you going?" " To tell her I love her." "Again?" "Pilar, wait!" "Pilar, stop!" "Pilar!" ""Gill" "Get out of my way." "Bastard, I've broken my soul!" "It isn't that serious." "Stop, Pilar!" "Wait!" "I don't believe it!" "Are you OK?" "Get off!" "Coruna" "Shit!" " That hurts." " It'll hurt more." " It wasn't me." " I don't care." "Gentlemen, please." "We'll take them to the hospital." "Fine, thank you." "Let's get going." "The apostle is waiting for us." " Are you OK?" " No, José, I'm not OK." "Santiago cathedral." "Millions of people come here every year." " Now what do we do?" " We go inside, kiss the saint... and give thanks for the journey." "Look, Fran, you're worried about what happened last night and you're probably wondering about your sexuality." " You're very young and..." " I'm not that young." "What I mean is..." "You know what I mean." "The past is the past and we have to look forward." "Jose..." "What?" "Could we do it again?" "Shit, I don't know if we'll see Laura again." " I mean, do it again with you." " You and me with a girl?" "Or without a girl." "I was thinking that next year we could do another trip." "If we've paid off the mortgage." "Yeah, but no walking or hostels or stuff like that." "I'd thought of a cruise." " A cruise, just you and me?" " A Mediterranean cruise." "But it doesn't have to be just you and me." "We love Mediterranean." "Sum say four together have good time." "Four on a cruise?" "And those ships have got swimming pools, discos, karaoke..." "Karaoke!" "Well, if we have to go, we'll go!" "Why are you lying there?" "You've come back?" "I didn't go, that's different." "Why's that?" "I was going to send you this card but I don't have your address." " My address..." " Yes." "I'm not at home much." "Then I'll give it to you personally." "Here." "It's very nice." " Aren't you going to say anything?" " No, nothing." "Not a word." "Why are you lying here in the middle of the square?" "It's tradition." "You get the best view of the cathedral." " I didn't know that." " Now you do." " All right." " OK." "Can I kiss you?" "Here, in the square, I don't know." "The cathedral, the saint..." "All right, sorry." "You want to kiss me?" "I'll kiss you." "What you said about being multi-orgasmic..." "What?" "Were you serious?" " I'll prove it right now." " Right now." "Me too." "I can't fall in love with you." "I can't fall in love with you." "I'll leave my land for you," "I'll leave my land and go far away from here." "I'll cross the garden crying and with your memories I'll go far away from here." "During the day I'll live thinking of your smile." "During the night, the stars will keep me company." "You'll be like a light that shines upon my path." "I'm leaving but I swear that I'll be back tomorrow." "When I leave, a kiss and a flower..." "There's no money?" "I'm sorry, there's no money." "How come?" "I gave him a dud check." "How could someone take 20,000 from my other account?" "How?" "You wrote a dud check for 20,000?" "Who are you calling?" "Listen, the problem isn't that I gave him a dud check." "It's that someone has taken all my savings from my other account!" "Too much!" "...The stones on the path." "What we love is always left behind." "I'll look for a place for you where the sky meets the sea," "far from here." "With my hands and with your love" "PH manage to End another dream, far from here." ""How to get your partner back for 20,000."" "A story of true love on the Camino de Santiago." "During the night, the stars will keep me company." "You'll be like a light that shines upon my path..." ""The man who walks in shadow."" ""Is he a fraud or a genius?"" "Adaptation:" "D. MacCloskey"