"(theme music plays)" "Man:" "Oh!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Next please." "Comfortable, sir?" "I shall need your name, rank, and number, sir." "Roy Caspar, Lieutenant, 22413791." "Thank you, sir." "And you're attached to military intelligence, aren't you, sir?" "Aren't you, sir?" "Roy Caspar, Lieutenant, 224137... (shouts)" "You're attached to military intelligence, aren't you, sir?" "My name is Roy Caspar," "Lieutenant, 22413791." "I'll ask you that question once again, sir." "You are attached to military intelligence?" "Man:" "All right, Sergeant." "We'll take over now." "Well, now, feeling brave, Caspar?" "I beg your pardon, Lieutenant Caspar, 2241..." " 3791." " 3791, Thank you, Sergeant." "I don't doubt your bravery at all." "We get a lot of very brave men in here." "But they all talk..." "eventually." "You'll get nothing from me." "Nothing." "On the contrary, Lieutenant, we shall get everything we want from you." "Everything." "Hello." "Good-bye." " Urgent business?" " Very." "Mother will tell you." "Mother!" "Steed." "Caspar, Roy Caspar." "Military intelligence." "He's a link man to some of our paid informants." "What about his habits?" "His habits?" "Well, as far as I know, he's clean." "He's missing." "Have a drink." "Thank you." "For how long has he been missing?" "He hasn't reported in for 48 hours." "What about his apartment?" "(telephone rings)" " Hello, Mother?" " Yes." "I've just checked over Caspar's apartment, and I can't find anything out of the ordinary, except..." "Except?" "Well, there doesn't seem to be a clean shirt in the place." "Clean shirt?" "My dear girl, I didn't send you over there to look after his laundry." "No, no, Mother, you misunderstand." "I mean, I can't find a razor or a toothbrush either." "Yes, quite." "Well, stay there." "I'll send the forensic mob right away." "Oh, right." "No sign of a shirt, razor, or toothbrush." "Looks as though he packed and left of his own accord." "Exactly my deduction, but it still doesn't tell us where Caspar is." "Caspar." "Roy Caspar, Lieutenant, 22413791." "Caspar, look at me." "Look at me." "Sleep, please." "Let me sleep." "Sleep?" "Of course, you may sleep..." "A warm bed and soft, soft pillows... but not yet." "We know that you run a string of informers, people that you pay for scraps of information." "Roy Caspar." "The names of those men are known only to a select few." "3791." "I want those names, and I want them now." "22413791." "Roy Caspar, Lieutenant, 22413791." "We know that one of those is an archer." "You will tell me his name." " 22413791." " His name." "(knock on door)" "Who is it?" "Man:" "Sergeant Rasker, sir." "Come in." "Ah, tea, splendid." "What an excellent idea of yours, Rasker." "I'm sure we could all do with a spot of this, couldn't we?" "Yes, sir, it's thirsty work." "Oh, forgive me, Lieutenant." "Would you care for a cup of tea?" "Oh, thank you, sir." " Milk and sugar?" " No sugar." "No sugar." " There we are." " Thank you." "Of course, you mustn't forget where we were when we left off," " must we?" " Don't worry, you were asking me about my contacts." " Yes, I was, wasn't I?" " A chap who is a keen archer." "No!" "Caspar's talked." " Eh?" " Sold out, spilt the beans." "I don't believe it." "Either that or he's been grabbed and made to talk." "I still don't believe it." "Confound it, Steed, one of his undercover informers was uncovered and killed." " Who else?" " What?" "Who else is Caspar likely to betray?" "He had one other undercover informer, but that's most secret, utterly restricted work." "Well, hardly now, now that he's talked." " You're right, he must be warned." " What's his name?" "Izzy Pound and his Incredible Marching Sound." "(trumpet playing "Rule Britannia")" "Izzy!" "Izzy!" "Izzy!" "Izzy!" "Izzy!" " (telephone rings)" " Mother." "Steed:" "Too late, just too late." "Izzy Pound is dead." "That means an impasse, unless Tara can come up with something." "What about this?" "Hand-rolled, custom-made, mixture of Virginian and Turkish with a preponderance of oriental herbs, smoked by a right-handed male of medium build." "Of course, that's only in the nature of a wild guess at this stage." "I'll need to get back to the laboratory to confirm my findings." "A preponderance of oriental herbs, you said?" "Of that I am sure." "Well, that could mean our friend Caspar is in the wrong hands." "We need more than one cigarette stub to tell us that, Miss King, and, so far, we haven't turned up even the tiniest clue as to Caspar's whereabouts." "He could be anywhere, almost anywhere." "A dry martini please." "Certainly, sir." "Not too dry, lots of ice and no olive." "Aren't you coming home, Miss King?" "Oh, no, I think I'll stay, just to make sure you fellas didn't miss anything." "(footsteps)" "Caspar, Roy Caspar." "Right, Caspar, we'll go through all this again." "I told you a dozen times." "I wasn't on any particular assignment." "I took a few days off, took my car and toured around." "Where?" "We want names and places." " Now where did you go?" " The South Coast." " Where on the South Coast?" " Everywhere, anywhere." " Where?" " Stayed in pubs most of the time." " Names and places." " I can't remember." "Caspar, we want to help you." "I toured around, that's all, toured around." "And how about this." "That's a bruise, a nasty bruise." " I fell down." " Where?" "Names and places." " I can't..." " "I can't remember."" "Caspar trained with Minnow." " Charles Minnow?" " Mm-hmm." " They were very close friends." " So he can help us break him." "Worth a try." "Charles Minnow." "Tell Tara King to bring him in." "(buzzer buzzes)" "Man:" "Yes, who is it?" " Charles Minnow?" " Yes." "It's Tara King here." "I want to see you right away." "I'm afraid you've caught me with my pants down, as it were." "I just got out of the bath." "Can you give me a few moments?" "Yes, I'll wait." "I'll be as quick as I can." "Right." "Is there a back way out of here, Minnow?" " The service entrance, yes." " Lead the way, then." "Just a minute." "What is it?" "Almost went without my toothbrush." "(buzzer buzzes)" "Minnow?" "Minnow?" "Minnow?" "So, Caspar, you decided to take a few days off." " Yes." " You drove away on your own?" "Yes, yes, yes..." "Oh, for pity's sake, can't you see I'm tired, tired of questions, always questions?" "The past few days, I've had enoug..." "It's the past few days we're interested in." "Look, what's this all about anyway?" "I have a right to know that, haven't I?" "A right?" "I suppose you have." "Rhonda." "It's a... a trick." "Feel his pulse." "Feel it!" "Nobody knew about him." "Nobody except..." "Me and you, Caspar." "But you don't think I..." " You can't..." " You were missing for three days." "Where were you?" " I can't tell you." " Can't?" "Has somebody get some hold over you, is that it?" "Is a friend or relative being held as a hostage?" "No, nothing like that." "I can't tell you, not yet." "You must give me time to think." "All right." "We'll give you time." "Come see us tomorrow, sleep on it, and we'll talk about it then." "Tomorrow?" "Day after tomorrow, if you want." "Good-bye, Caspar." "Good-bye." "Give him a few seconds." "Then follow him, see where he goes." "Who he contacts." "Hello, Mother, it's Tara." "Listen, I'm at Minnow's place, and I don't like it." "No, Mother, it's got nothing to do with the color of the walls." "I mean, I don't like the situation." "Minnow is gone, and so's his toothbrush." "(high-pitched squealing and warbling)" " (squealing stops)" " Which do you think is worse, Minnow, the sound or not knowing when it will begin again?" "You become your own torturer, really." ""When?" your brain keeps asking." "When will it start again?" "You steel yourself against the moment, you tense every nerve... but the sound doesn't come." " Then, suddenly..." " (high-pitched squealing and warbling)" "(squealing stops)" "I'm afraid that Captain Soo doesn't altogether approve of these modern methods." "He is inclined to favor the older more physical approach." "Of course, I can't very well condemn him out of hand, can I, without giving him a chance to prove his point first." " Excuse me, sir." " Yes?" "Can I have a word?" "Caspar's pigeon, sir." " When did it arrive?" " Just this minute." "Hmm." "Then you better get over there right away, hadn't you, Sergeant?" " You know what to do." " Right." "(phone rings)" " Hello?" " Mannering:" "Caspar?" "Colonel Mannering, thank goodness you've called, sir." "It's all gone wrong." "The suspect's been murdered, and I've been held and interrogated, and..." " Now hold on a moment." " They think it was me." "I've been questioned for hours." "I didn't know how much to tell them." "Calm down." "Calm down, Lieutenant Caspar." "That's an order." "I'm..." "I'm sorry, sir." "All right." "Now let's have the facts." "You were picked up?" "As soon as I returned, sir." "They questioned me for hours." "But they didn't get anything out of you." " Not a thing, sir." " Obeyed my orders exactly?" "You told them nothing?" "Nothing, sir." "You didn't mention this organization, did you, Caspar?" "No, sir." "What time is it?" "Just after 8:00, sir." "Blackie ought to be there by now." "Caspar?" "Sir?" "You've done an excellent job." "You have nothing to worry about, do you understand?" "But what about Izzy Pound, sir?" " He's dead and they suspect..." " You have nothing to worry about." " Yes, sir." " I'll get in touch with the proper authorities right away." "You'll be cleared absolutely." "Caspar:" "Yes, sir, but I... (gunshot)" "(telephone rings)" "Mother." "Tara:" "Mother, I just found something, a cigarette stub." "It's hand-rolled, custom-made, a mixture of Virginian and Turkish with a preponderance of Oriental herbs." "What do you think?" "I think you'd better watch your step." "Any man who smokes such a revolting mixture must be evil incarnate." "No, Mother, you don't understand." "I mean, it's the same pattern as before." "Whoever grabbed Caspar has now grabbed Minnow." "We don't know for certain that Caspar was grabbed." "But just the same." "Yes, you're right." "We better assume the worst." "Minnow will talk." "And betray his contacts." "Mannering:" "Minnow." "Minnow." "No time for sleeping, Minnow." "You have many things to tell us, many things we wish to know." "How did you get on with Caspar?" "Dead end." "Couldn't be deader." "Shot." "Looks like suicide." "Looks like?" "Looks like." "Minnow is missing." "Tara has gone to warn Fillington," "Minnow's number one contact, might be a repeat performance." "Let's hope it's not a repeat performance." "Let's hope that Fillington is alive and kicking." "(phone rings)" "Yes." "Tara:" "Mother, it's too late." " Fillington..." " Is dead." "Dead?" "That confirms it, doesn't it?" "Minnow's talked." "All right." "It's all systems go now." "I'm ready." "Just give me the name of Minnow's second contact." "Your second contact, Minnow." "The name of your second contact." "Give me his name." "I say, sir, escape attempts are in order, I suppose." " Certainly!" " Jolly good." " I wouldn't want to break the rules." " No, of course not." "I say, you've hurt your hand." " Oh, it's nothing." " But all the same," "I should get something to put on that if I were you." "Jolly good punch, though, a right cross." "I should think you've done a bit in the ring" " in your time, sir." " Boxed for the battalion." "Really?" "Then you'd know Nosher Wright." "On the same team together." "Gosh, a splendid chap, Nosher." " One of the best." " Salt of the earth." "Say the name, Minnow?" "The name!" "Tara:" "Mr. Puffin!" "Mr. Puffin!" "Yes?" "Yes?" " Mr. Puffin..." " Yes." "You're in great danger." " Danger?" " Yes." "A poor, gentle, old silly balloon seller like me?" "How could I possibly?" " Mother sent me." " Come inside." " What's the problem?" " Minnow." "Minnow." "Thanks for warning me." " I'd better..." " (gunshot)" "Down!" "I'm afraid he's got us pinned down." "You all right?" "Fine." " Do you know him?" " No." " Mother:" "What do you think?" " Steed:" "I don't know him." "Nor do I." "Minnow's our last link now if we can find Minnow." "Someone looking for me?" "I was just on my way home actually, but I..." "I thought I'd better pop in to see whether anything urgent had cropped up." "Well, how are things in the jolly old world of intrigue, eh?" "Have a drink, Minnow." "Jolly decent of you." "Been away then?" " Well, just..." " Took a little impromptu holiday, what?" "Yes, as a matter of fact." "Touring around, nowhere particular?" "Exactly that." "We've been trying to get hold of you." "Have you now?" "Well, can't be in two places at once," " eh, Mother." " (chuckles)" "Have you seen Fillington recently?" "Not recently, no." " And Puffin?" " Not for a couple of weeks." "How about him?" "You recognize him?" "Recognize him?" "Of course not." "Don't play with me, Minnow." "You're neither experienced nor clever enough to control your eyes." "There was a glimmer of recognition." "I want to know the name of this dead man." "Dead?" "It's no go." "They told me about that." " Said you might try to trip me up." " "They"?" "The photo's a jolly good fake, though." "Fillington's death was no fake." "We can take you back to the morgue, and you can see for yourself." "It'd be a waste of time, and we haven't the time to waste." " Fillington, he..." " Because you talked, Minnow." "Now you tell me why and where and to whom." "Mother, what shall I do?" "Tell us all you know, Minnow." "Well, hadn't I better contact Mannering first?" "The new rules." " What Mannering?" " Colonel Mannering." "M-mother, tell him about Colonel Mannering." "Who is Colonel Mannering?" "But you must know." "It was your idea." "Surely you know who Colonel Ma..." "I think... if you don't mind," "I'd like to sit down." "If you don't mind?" "Perhaps you'd start from the beginning." "How did you meet this Colonel Mannering?" "Came to my apartment." " (door buzzer buzzers)" " There were two of them," "Mannering and Soo." " Miss King?" " Yes." "I'm Mannering, Interdepartmental Security." "This is Captain Soo, Oriental Military Studies, our identification." "Thank you." "Quite right, Miss King." "We can't be too careful these days, can we?" "Thank you, Colonel Mannering." "I just wanted to make sure exactly who you are." " Won't you come in please?" " Thank you." "Would you gentlemen sit down?" "Would you be good enough to show us your identification?" "Certainly." "You're quite right, Colonel." "We really can't be too careful about these things." "You watch others, Miss King." " We watch you." " Big brother." "Well, we had hoped that our interest would be slightly more paternal." " Would you care for a drink?" " No, thank you." "We discourage drinking on duty amongst out operatives." "Pity, good brandy." "Oh, won't you gentlemen please sit down." "Thank you, I will." "I'll come straight to the point, Miss King." "We've been sent here to escort you to Center 53 to attend TOHE course A7." "Perhaps you'd care to examine these documents, too." "I would, as a matter of fact." "Good." "You will see that the course is covered by Secret Security." "Sealed Instruction 47, subsection QR4932." "But these instructions say the course is to begin immediately." "As of this moment, yes." "Well, I've just spent the last 24 hours without a break on another assignment," " and I am very, very..." " Very tired." " Yes." " Well, of course, you are, Miss King, but that is the whole point of the course, that you should be tired, that your powers of endurance should be taxed to the limit." "But you don't understand." "The assignment I'm on, I haven't finished it yet." "Oh, but you have." "Haven't you been told?" "You've been taken off it." "By whose orders?" "Well, higher authority, Miss King." "Of course, you're perfectly entitled to appeal against this decision." "Perhaps, you would like to call Mother." "Perhaps you do it for me." "You've already committed a cardinal error, Miss King, by admitting to me the fact of Mother's existence." "That will be ten demerit points." "Bad start." "Hello, Mother, Mannering here, sir." "Yes, very well indeed, thank you, very well." "Bridge?" "Why, yes, we'd like to very much." "I'll have a word with my wife about it." "Sir, I'm at Miss King's place at the moment." "Yes." "Yes, I have told her about the TOHE course." "Well, she does seem to be a little bit reluctant." "I can't really blame her, I suppose." "It's quite understandable." "You will?" "Well, that would be a great help, sir." "I'd be very grateful if you'd have a word with her." "Hello, Mother." "Mother?" "Mother's voice:" "I selected you for this course, and I would be obliged if you would obey my orders." "Colonel Mannering is my representative, and his instructions are my instructions." " Just get on with your job and do as you're told." " But, Mother..." "Without questions or delays." " That's all." " Yes, Mother." "What is a TOHE course anyway?" "A Test of Human Endurance." "They must have impersonated my voice!" "Caricatured it." "A Test of Human Endurance?" "Yes, that's what he said." "Get me internal..." " What did you say the name of the course was?" " A TOHE course A7." "What do you know about the TOHE..." " You were taken to Center 53." " Yes, that's right." " Where is it?" " Well, get me someone who does know!" "It's in the country." "It's a large house." "Yes, but where?" "I don't know." "It is part of the security arrangements that I shouldn't know." "I was taken there in a closed van." "Here we are, Sergeant Rasker." " Good afternoon, Miss." " Hello." " Can I see your identification, please?" " Certainly." "Thank you." "If you'd like you to sign just there, please." "(blow lands)" "Tara!" "Tara King." "I didn't know you were coming here." "Mullard..." "Don't you remember?" "Paul Mullard." " We were in training together." " Paul, of course, silly." " Look, we'll have a drink in the bar later on." " Yes." "That'll be fine." "I'll look forward to that." "Okay." "The key to your room, Miss King." "I hope you enjoy your stay with us." " Thank you." " Well, that's that." "This way." "Might as well have a drink together before we start." "I know you're gonna enjoy it here, Miss King, once you get used to it, of course." "A splendid lunch we've got here." " Fine spinach..." " (screams)" "and, of course, we do try to make their stay as pleasant as possible." "Plenty of recreation, too, sport and all that sort of thing." "I'm a great believer in physical well-being." " Afternoon, Johnson." " Afternoon, sir." "Gentlemen, may I introduce you to Miss Tara King." "Ah, hello, Miss King, how are you?" " What would you like to drink?" " Brandy." " Two brandies." " Please." "This bar is absolutely sacrosanct." "It's the one place in the entire building where you can relax completely, where you can switch off as it were." "But let me remind you that the course has already begun, and you can be taken away and interrogated any time, any time at all." " Minnow:" "Course A7." " A course to test your breaking point," " your reliability as an agent." " That's what he said, yes." "Yes." "Course A7 under the direction of Colonel Mannering." " But that's it, sir." " It doesn't exist." "The name, Mullard, the name." " You have a contact in Hong Kong." " No." "Yes, Mullard, yes, and I want the name." "The name, the name!" "Captain Soo." "All right, Mullard, Jolly good show." "Absolutely first class." "You mean that's it?" "We haven't been able to break you, have we?" "As a matter of fact, I never really thought we would." "It's really over?" "It's really over." "Congratulations, Mullard, you've passed the test, class one." " Oh, thank you, sir." " Thank you." "And thank you." "Well, I think this calls for a celebration." " Come along." " Yes." "Oh, thank you." "It's clever." "You must admit it's clever." "Turned our own secret bureaucracy into a weapon." "Tied us up with our own red tape." "It's very simple." "Persuade our agents that the course is genuine, get their full cooperation and interrogate them for as long as they like." "Until they talk." "Well, that isn't true." "I got a class-one pass." "They interrogated me for hours, but I didn't talk." "I didn't tell them a darn thing." "All:" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." "(all cheer)" "Well done, sir." "Can you manage another one?" "Not just at the moment, thank you." "(exhales deeply)" "And you weren't kidding me, sir, I really got a class-one pass?" "You can take my word for it." "Mind you, it was touch and go at one point." "Do you mind telling me why, sir?" "Well, I don't suppose it matters now, now is that it's all over." "It was... when we were questioning you about your contact in Hong Kong, you remember?" "We thought we had you a couple of times, but you held out." "You kept denying that he ever existed." "Mind you, the fact that you don't have a contact in Hong Kong certainly helped." "(laughs) Yes, I do, sir." "You do?" "Yes, afraid so." "Well, that's extraordinary." "You really had us fooled." "This calls for another drink, a short one this time." "Don't worry." " Rasker, two whiskeys please." " Certainly, sir." "Manning:" "You've covered the thing brilliantly." "This contact, by the way, anybody we know?" "No, no." "I doubt it, sir." "His name's George Criddle." " George Criddle?" " What, you do know him?" "Well, if he's the chap I'm thinking of, yes." "Well, he's a tall chap, glasses, fair mustache." "Tall, glasses, fair mustache, yes, that's the one." "Nice to get in touch with him again after all this time." "Where do you normally reach him?" "Well, I usually get in touch with him at the Fu Yung Café." "The Fu Yung Café." "Thank you, Rasker." "Here's to George Criddle then." "Yes, that's how it must have happened..." "In the bar, the one place where we were allowed to relax, to lower our defenses." "I'm jolly sorry, Mother." "Sorrow is a negative after the event emotion, Minnow." "What we want now is positive thinking." "Attack." "What do you suggest?" "Well, I..." "I, um..." "Yes, Norton?" "What is it, Norton?" "I've just come from Miss King's apartment, sir." "I called in to give her my findings on the Caspar/Minnow cases." " Mother:" "Which were?" " Negative, sir." "Only forensics would make a special trip to say that they hadn't found anything." "Well, what's the point?" "The point is Miss King is not in her apartment, sir." "But whilst I was browsing around," "I found this." "And her toothbrush?" "That's gone, too." "Now suppose we start with everything that you know about John Steed." "Oh, that could take some time." "Ah, ah." "Later, later." "You can deal with her later." "They've taken Tara King." "Now don't you understand that she is different" " from you and Caspar?" " She's a woman." "Hmm." "She's also sharper, brighter and more intelligent." "Now they may fool her for a while." "Their plan is clever enough to fool anyone for a while." "But after a time, she'll understand what's going on and then... (snaps fingers) Just a moment." "When we showed you this, you thought we were trying to trick you." "Now, why?" "That was in the briefing." "Yeah, Mannering said there'd be other tests." "The course didn't end when I left the center." "They'd be unexpected ones, too." "So that you wouldn't reveal what went on at the course A7?" "Yes." " Suppose everything went wrong..." " Huh?" "And you find yourself on trial for treason?" "Aha, well, in that case, I'd simply contact Mannering, and... the pigeon." "Any trouble, and I am to release it, and Mannering will contact me within the hour." "Within the hour?" "Can't be too far away then." "As the crow flies." "Follow that pigeon." "(high-pitched squealing)" "(bell rings)" "(helicopter approaching)" "Emergency, sir." "Minnow's pigeon, sir, and Steed is right behind it." "Steed?" "I just caught a glimpse of him in the grounds." "You keep an eye on the girl." "(speaks foreign language)" "They'll cover the rear entrance to the bar." "That's all very well, sir, but this is a big house." "There are at least a dozen other ways into it." "Don't be alarmed." "Man on every one." "You open the armory, all the guns you can find." "I'll send for the trainees." "(alarm rings)" "(indiscernible chatter)" "Now all in good time, gentlemen, all in good time." "Since we're all here, I will tell you." "We're all here now?" "Good, good." "Now this is in the nature of a surprise test." "We've arranged for an intruder to penetrate the area." "It will be your job to deploy and find him." "Each of you will be armed with a pistol loaded," "I need hardly say, with blanks." "When you find the intruder, you will shoot to kill, and there will be ten merit points for the lucky man." " Any questions?" " Yes, sir." "Who's playing intruder?" "Mannering:" "An old friend of ours, some of you you may even know him." "You certainly can't fail to recognize him." "Bowler hat, impeccably dressed." "Name's Steed, John Steed." "Well, off you go then, chaps, and don't forget, ten points for the lucky man who kills him." "(leaves rustling)" "(door creaks)" "This way, chaps." "Hands up!" "Man:" "Well, I say, aren't we supposed to shoot him?" " Well, I saw him first." " No, I did." "Hang on, hang on." "There are ten of us." "Why don't we all shoot at once, then we claim a point each?" "Ready?" "Tara:" "No!" "No." "Those guns are loaded." " Naturally." " I mean, with real bullets." "Oh come, now, dear lady." "I know you must be anxious for those ten points and all that." "No, we've been duped." "Mannering, this whole course, it's all a trick." " It's a fake, everything." " Fake?" "She's right, you know." "Mannering:" "Jolly good Steed, excellent." "Test their gullibility, eh?" "Trick them, see how they would react to the persuasive tongue of an enemy." "Mannering is the enemy." "I'm telling you the truth." "Is she?" "(Chuckles)" "Don't forget there are ten merit points at stake, gentlemen." "Mullard:" "Yes, but she..." " She sounds sincere." " Well, of course she does." "What kind of a test would it be if she didn't?" "The guns are loaded." "Convincing, Miss King, but not convincing enough, eh, gentlemen?" "You will carry out your orders, but this time, you will shoot them both." "Might I make a suggestion?" "To see who's really bluffing, why don't you, Mullard, point your gun at the Colonel and pull the trigger?" "Why not?" "Now when I count three, you fire." "One, two... (gunshot)" "Well, gentlemen, what we need is a drink." "And I think we will have it on the house." " I must have an answer." " I won't tell you." " I insist." " So do I." "Very well." "I'll give you until 6:00." " Why 6:00?" " It's as good a time as any." "Well, I prefer 11:00." " I must have the secret." " You'd only tell everyone." " Promise." " You're a hard man, Steed." "Oh, yes, I'm a hard man." "I'm a monster." "Well, do you promise to promise?" "Steed:" "I promise not to give away your secret recipe." "All right then." "It's yogurt." "Just yogurt?" "Just a tablespoonful." " Incredible." " Delighted." "(theme music plays)"