"Dr. Montalivet was, politely put, diminutive." "When flaccid, his member was little more than a bobbin." "And when inflamed, it towered a mere four inches." "To compensate, he strove to impress his lady with other endowments." "Fine wine, fresh game, and a house as big as his other fortunes were small." "We`ve ceiling beams en route from Provence." "And next week a muralist from Paris arrives to paint a trompe l`oeil in the ballroom." "Doesn`t that please you?" "Very much." "I would prefer brandy in the salon where we can sit side by side before the fire." "l`d rather read, thank you." "You prefer a book to your husband`s company?" "Well, no wonder." "l`m only flesh and blood." "That`s no match, is it, for the printed page?" "Good evening, then." "Enjoy your solitude." "Your linens." "Now or never." "If you won`t read it to your own mother perhaps you ought not to be reading it at all." "lt`s not your cup of tea, Mother." "Oh, go on, darling, give it a read." ""Monsieur Bouloir was a man whose erotic appetites might discreetly be described as `post-mortem.`" "A habitué of cemeteries his proudest conquest was a maid six decades his senior deceased a dozen years."" "Oh, that`s terrible!" "That`s too, too terrible!" "Well, go on!" ""The vigor with which he made love caused her bones to dislodge." "Still, he granted her the highest compliment he accorded any woman:" "`Well worth the dig!" "`"" "You asked my name once." "lt`s Madeleine." "Sweet, then?" "Like the pastry." "Haven`t you a name yourself?" "Ride away with me someday." "Perhaps l`ll tell you." "Your mother may be blind as a bat, but you have a keen pair of eyes." "Mother`s blind on account of the lye in the laundry kettles." "Soaking sheets for lunatics cost this woman her sight." "This could cost her far more." "You`ll get more with kind" "What could cause a tincture like this?" "l`m a laundress, not a detective." "Perhaps your kettles are stained with rust, or the lye is rancid." "Or maybe just maybe, these sheets once belonged to our friend, the Marquis." "We`ve over 200 beds." "Could be anybody`s." "Such a fine thread count?" "Decorated in his very own script?" "She`s lying. it shows in her face." "Clearing everything, abbé." "Almost done." "Remember anything he might fashion as a quill." "His room stripped bare." "The doctor cracks the whip, and you dance!" "My bed, gone!" "Am I to freeze to death?" "Gaban, take his rug." "That`s a Turkish weave!" "It costs more than you`ll earn in your life." "Valcour." "His chair." "Fine!" "Take it!" "Take it all!" "Careful, it`s slippery." "You`ve no idea where it`s been." "And let`s not forget sweet Mary, the Jewish whore, God`s little harlot!" "Virgin birth!" "An entire religion built on an oxymoron!" "Orvolle." "His wine." "From now on, nothing but water at every meal." "Water!" "Your meat, de-boned." "Why this torture?" "Your writing continues, unchecked." "I didn`t create this world, I record it." "Its horrors. its darkest nightmares!" "To what end?" "Nothing but your morbid gratification." "I write what I see:" "The procession to the guillotine." "We`re all lined up waiting for the crunch of the blade." "The rivers of blood are flowing beneath our feet, abbé." "l`ve been to hell, young man." "You`ve only read about it." "I am sorry, Marquis." "Truly." "These chastity vows of yours." "How strict are they?" "Suppose you only put it in her mouth." "Pious little worm." "In conditions of adversity, the artist flourishes." "Curious, aren`t you?" "If I can pleasure myself, I can pleasure you too." "You don`t know what you`re missing." "l`m in search of a book." "Perhaps you know it." "l`ve only got one copy left." "Rescued it meself...from the bonfire." "Please hurry." "My husband locks the door at dusk." "Sweet little thing like you shouldn`t be reading such filth, anyway." "I grew up in a convent, sir." "Everything I know I owe to books." ""To the young maidens of the world:" "Wrest yourselves free from the tyranny of virtue and taste without shame the pleasures of the flesh." "Male power lies in the clench of a fist but a woman`s power lies elsewhere:" "In the velvet cavity betwixt her thighs. "" "lt`s late, Simone, darling." "Put your poems aside." "Breakfast." "I beg you...." "What have they done to you now?" "Tortures so arcane so medieval, even I haven`t the words to describe them." "If you`ve an ounce of pity you`ll throw caution aside and unlock my door." "God help me." "l don`t dare." "Don`t be a dunce. l`ve a surprise." "Now open the frigging door!" "My newest book." "It starts at my left cuff and continues across my back." "The longest sentence runs the entire length of my inseam." "It all completes itself at the base of my right shoe." ""Pikestaff"?" ""Naked on a plate"?" ""One hundred unholy tongues"?" "You`re a genius!" "Yes!" "Go quickly so you won`t be blamed for my misbehavior." "Maddy!" "You traffic with the Devil, you`ll pay the Devil`s price." "Sorry." "Guards, stop him!" "Guards!" "Yes!" "Look what l`ve brought you, my darlings!" "Two chapters:" "one for each cheek!" "My writing lives!" "Take this beast back to his cage!" "Don`t tell me, you`ve come to read my trousers." "Don`t keep me in suspense." "Fifty lashes?" "A night on the rack?" "l won`t sully my hands with him." "Nor should you." "The first rule of politics:" "The man who orders the execution never drops the blade!" "You`re lucky it`s me punishing you." "If it were up to the doctor, you`d be flayed." "The doctor is a man after my own heart." "What am I to do with you?" "The more I forbid, the more you`re provoked!" "Strip." "Your breeches as well." "You started this little game you finish it." "Or haven`t you the courage?" "I thought not." "lt`s a potent aphrodisiac isn`t it, dumpling?" "Having power over another man?" "Your wig." "You`ll no longer spread your insidious gospel." "From now on, you will not even write your own ignominious name." "Are your convictions so fragile, they cannot stand in opposition to mine?" "is your God so flimsy?" "So weak?" "For shame!" "Don`t flatter yourself, Marquis." "You`re not the Antichrist." "You`re nothing but a malcontent who knows how to spell." "I saw her myself." "She put the key in the latch, proud as you please." "Free her!" "Now!" "Leave her duly strung." "If only blood will appease you then shed mine." "Abbé, no!" "Go on." "Now!" "That won`t be necessary." "If you`re going to martyr yourself, abbé do it for God not a chambermaid." "Now put your clothes back on." "Had I known your taste in novels I never would`ve taught you to read." "Don`t say that." "Reading`s my salvation." "But why must you indulge in his pornography?" "lt`s a hard day`s wages, slaving away for madmen." "What l`ve seen in life, it takes a lot to hold my interest." "I put myself in his stories." "I play the parts." "Each strumpet, each murderess." "Maddy." "If I wasn`t such a bad woman on the page l`ll hazard I couldn`t be such a good woman in life." "This is no place for a child like you." "l`m sending you away from here." "We could line the walls with Chinese silks." "Or, if you prefer a Florentine tapestry." "Are you a literary man?" "Excuse me?" "I do so admire men with an appetite for books." "Madame how could you?" "Have you actually read this volume?" "l`ve memorized it." "There comes a time in a young lady`s life when she must cast books aside and learn from experience." "That, monsieur requires a teacher." "What are you--?" "is something wrong?" "Abbé." "Don`t send me away, I beg you." "I shouldn`t refuse your kindness but my heart`s held fast here." "By whom?" "The Marquis?" "Mother`s not half so blind as you." "Oh, Madeleine." "There are certain feelings we must not voice." "Why not?" "They incite...." "They incite us to act in ways we should not." "What have I done?" "Go back to your room." "You`ll hate me now, won`t you?" "I love you, Madeleine as a child of God." "Forgive me." "Madeleine!" "You don`t fear the Marquis` sway on me." "You fear your own." "If you`ll grant me a final favor, l`d like the chance to explain." "Don`t come any closer, abbé." "God`s watching." ""Most esteemed Dr. Royer-Collard at long last, your chateau is complete." "You will find everything in its assigned place:" "The chintz draperies, the English bell pulls even the ivory doorstops." "Only one detail is missing:" "Your wife."" "Tell him l`m no fool." "A prison`s still a prison, even with silks and chandeliers." ""By the time you read this, we`ll be long gone bound for England or points beyond."" "Tell him if he discovers our whereabouts you`ll slit your wrists, and l`ll plunge a hatpin through my heart." "You`d do that, rather than forsake our love?" "No." "But tell him I would." "Sign it, quickly." "Then you can ravish me again on linens for which he so dearly paid." "And then, I beg you on the bearskin rug in his study and finally, as a crowning gesture we`ll leave puddles of love on the Peruvian marble." "Simone!" "Simone!" "Stop, I beg you!" "l`ll write dainty stories!" "Odes to virtue." "Children`s verses. I promise!" "Excites you, doesn`t it, to hurt me?" "You`re solid as a bone, straining your trousers." "Don`t you see, you self-righteous fuck the longer you continue your vexations, the deeper you root my principles in my heart!" "Haven`t you seen a man naked before?" "The abbé`s sending me away." "Yes." "Of course he is." "Marquis tell me one last story." "How do you propose I do that?" "With dust, upon the air?" "Whisper it to me now." "Child, that`s far too dangerous." "I may never see you again." "Let me transcribe something to remember you by." "This is neither the time, nor the place." "We`ve lost." "Never thought l`d see you defeated." "l`ve thousands of stories to tell" "Then tell me one." "Perhaps I can." "Tonight, go to the linen pantry with ink and a quill and you shall have a story that will make the angels weep and the saints all gasp for air." "She`s here." "Dauphin!" "Cleante!" "Cleante, are you ready?" "Are you ready?" "Marquis, is that you?" "For fuck`s sake, who else would it be?" "Have you alerted the others?" "l`m no longer a man." "I awoke to discover l`d turned into a sparrow." "is that so?" "I awoke to discover l`d turned into a cat." "If you don`t do as I say, l`ll sink my fangs into your drumsticks and suck the marrow straight out of your bones." "At your service, count." ""To my beloved reader:" "Prepare yourself for the most impure tale ever to spring from the mind of man."" "Off your hump." ""To my beloved reader:" "Prepare yourself for the most impure tale ever told."" ""To my beloved reader:" "Prepare yourself for an impure tale."" "Bouchon." ""To my beloved reader:" "Prepare yourself;" "l`ve an impure tale to tell."" ""Prepare yourself."" "Bouchon?" "What did you say?" ""Prepare yourself. l`ve a tale." "An impure tale."" ""Our story concerns the prostitute Fanchon whom nature had equipped with a tight and downy fissure between her thighs and the most finely cleft ass ever molded by the hand of God."" ""Fanchon was a prostitute with a tight and downy fissure between her thighs and...."" "The most finely cleft ass!" ""The most finely cleft ass...."" "My glorious prose, filtered through the minds of the insane." "They might improve it." ""lt`s about a harlot named Fanchon."" ""lt`s about a harlot named Fanchon with a downy fissure."" ""One day, Fanchon`s first client was a surgeon." "He ran his fingers across her naked skin pulling apart folds of flesh."" ""He ran his fingers across her naked skin pulling apart folds of flesh."" ""Pulling at her folds."" ""And ran his fingers over her naked skin, pulling at her folds...."" ""Feeling over her naked skin."" ""Her naked skin."" "Naked." "Yes, l`ve got that bit." ""`What shall I make ready?" "` asked Fanchon." "`My mouth, my ass or my succulent oyster?" "`"" ""`What shall I ready?" "`"" ""`--my ass or my succulent oyster?" "`"" ""`None!" "` cried the surgeon with his scalpel."" "Yes?" ""`Which hole?" "`" "My mouth, my ass or my succulent" "Succulent oyster!" "`"" ""`For l`ll carve new orifices where there were none before.`"" ""`None!" "`" -"Cried the surgeon." "`l`ll carve new" "New orifices where there were none before!" "`"" ""With that, Fanchon expelled a scream so extravagantly pitched that the surgeon was obliged to tear out her tongue."" ""Fanchon expelled a scream with such extravagant pitch--"" ""With that, the extravagant bitch screamed so loud--"" ""She screamed so long and so loud--"" ""She screamed, so he felt he should" "Ought--"" ""To seal the wound, he took a poker from the fire--"" ""A poker!" -"To tear out her tongue!"" ""He took a poker from the fire!"" "Fire." ""From the fire!"" ""He took a poker from the fire."" "From the fire." "From the fire...." ""He took a poker from the fire!"" "Dauphin." "From the fire." "What`s next?" "Bouchon, the words." "Tell me the words." "Dauphin?" "Dauphin!" "Fire!" "What`s the next bit?" "Fire!" "What`s the next bit?" "Fire!" "Fire!" "Just tell me the next bit!" "Tell me the words!" "Fire!" "Open all the doors!" "Let the patients out!" "Chase some water!" "Move yourselves!" "Move on!" "Get some water!" "lt`s hot!" "No!" "No!" "Nice fire!" "Nice, nice, Dauphin, fire!" "Where`s that water?" "Get Dauphin!" "Stop him!" "Fire!" "Fire!" "Fire!" "Bouchon?" "Bouchon!" "Remember your manners, Bouchon." "Don`t" "Madeleine." "Madeleine!" "Madeleine!" "Madeleine!" "Madeleine!" "Madeleine!" "Madeleine." "Maddy!" "Madeleine!" "Maddy!" "lt`s her fault the Devil`s unleashed himself upon us!" "lt`s her fault!" "No!" "No!" "Madeleine!" "Madeleine!" "We must save Charenton!" "Ikeep the chain going!" "We`ve got to stop it before it gets to those beams!" "Madeleine!" "Madeleine!" "Guards!" "Guards!" "Are you all right?" "Madeleine!" "Madeleine!" "Go!" "Quickly!" "Madeleine!" "Where are you, Maddy?" ""She screamed, so he felt he ought to tear out her tongue."" "Bouchon, wait!" "l`m sorry. l`m sorry, abbé." "I couldn`t help it!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, no!" "Madeleine!" "Now, now, don`t be shy." "We have a nice surprise waiting for you." "There`s a good boy." "There`s a good boy." "Sorry." "Wait!" "I promise I won`t do it again!" "I promise!" "We mustn`t blame Bouchon." "He is merely one of nature`s experiments gone awry." "No discipline." "No conscience." "No morality." "In fact, it is our duty to provide such things on his behalf." "is it not?" "As you say, doctor." "He was so impressed by the Marquis` tale that he chose to reenact it, yes?" "Upon a certain chambermaid." "Perhaps you`ll be so kind as to remind me of her name." "I beg you, doctor, don`t make me say it." "Her name, abbé." "Madeleine." "Tell me, abbé when you are called before God how will you answer for Madeleine`s death?" "Murderer!" "Your words." "Your words drove Bouchon to" "For fuck`s sake, abbé!" "Suppose an inmate tried to walk on water and drowned." "Would you condemn the Bible?" "I think not." "An innocent child is dead." "So many authors are denied the gratification of a concrete response to their work." "l`m blessed, am I not?" "lt`s no secret that you loved her." "l wanted to fuck her, that`s all!" "And did you?" "lt`s not your province to ask." "Why did you not take her by force?" "Who`s to say I did not?" "Was it impotence?" "Never!" "Then it must have been love." "I fucked her, countless times and all the while, she pleaded for more." "We inspected the body." "She died a virgin." "Give her a proper burial in the churchyard at my expense." "Do not inter her sweet body in the same ground as the devils who inhabit this accursed place." "Your terrible secret, revealed." "You`re a man, after all." "l`ve opium to numb the pain." "Our intention is punitive." "If we numb the pain, what`s the point?" "Abbé de Coulmier." "l`m here." "Would that I were so easily silenced." "There`s a good boy." "My, my!" "You have exceeded my expectations." "Have I?" "l`m not the first man to shed blood in God`s name." "And l`m not the last." "Will you sleep soundly tonight?" "No, sir." "Plainly put, I never expect to sleep again." "Don`t send me away, abbé." "Abbé." "Abbé." "Abbé!" "Abbé." "Abbé." "Abbé." "Abbé!" "Abbé!" "Abbé!" "You`d best come quick, abbé." "He`s written all over the walls!" "Used his own filth!" "Made himself a kind of paint." "Dear God!" "The stench!" "Free his mouth." "Mustn`t do that, sir." "I must grant him his last rites." "Give me your dagger." "Leave us." "I failed to save your soul in life." "I won`t fail in death." "Dear Heavenly Father:" "Prove Your infinite mercy, and open Your gates to this man no less Your child than any other." "There is in each of us such beauty and such abomination." "No man is exempt." "Forgive him." "Forgive us all." "lKiss the cross." "Marquis!" "No!" "No!" "Welcome." "Pleased to have the post." "Are you?" "Our endowment has shriveled to a mere pittance." "We are the laughingstock of all France." "However, on a happier note the hospital is now in my sole command." "My policy here is that each man must earn his keep." "The "Charenton Press," abbé." "We produce books for the discriminating collector." "The compulsive inmates set the type." "The listless ones do the binding and prepare the ink." "lt`s remarkable, doctor." "The patients are so subdued, so docile." "Yes, they are at peace." "They have the satisfaction that only a hard day`s labor can provide." "I don`t believe it." "The Marquis de Sade." "You`re actually publishing his novels." "Yes." "Ever since his death, there`s been a surge of interest in his works." "Of course I will use the profits to restore Charenton to its former glory." "Oh, doctor." "We have a meeting with Herr Becker at 4:00." "He wants to publish a Swiss edition on gilded paper, bound in calfskin." "Thank you, Charlotte." "My pleasure." "Have a look at page 205." "I turned the corner down...." "On your last one!" "Come on!" "Next one!" "Come on, get these books onboard!" "Next boxes up there." "Move yourselves, all right!" "All right, old mates, that`s it!" "See you next week!" "Of course, everything is not quite as harmonious as it seems." "I hope you have a strong constitution." "My years tending lepers have steeled me for life`s grisliest offerings." "We still have a few lone incurables." "Prone to violence and perversion." "So you`re my successor, yes?" "Successor?" "Listen to me, abbé and listen well." "l`ve stared into the face of evil and have lived to tell the tale." "Now I beg you, for your sake, let me write it down." "Gibberish." "He rants and he raves." "If you`ve an ounce of Christianity, you`ll bring me parchment, ink and a quill." "No, this patient poses a grave danger to himself and to others." "Are you all right, sir?" "Do you not see, abbé?" "Do you not see, abbé?" "Some men are beyond redemption." "No, wait." "Please!" "Please bring me a quill." "Please." "Wait, l`m sorry." "Oh, goddamn you, abbé!" "A quill!" "A quill." "Use it well." "You owe her that." "Beloved reader:" "I leave you with a tale penned by the abbé de Coulmier a man who found freedom in the unlikeliest of places at the bottom of an inkwell on the tip of a quill." "However, be forewarned its plot is blood-soaked its characters depraved and its themes, unwholesome at best." "But in order to know virtue  we must acquaint ourselves with vice." "Only then can we know the full measure of man." "So come." "I dare you." "Turn the page."