"ALBERT'S AMERICA" " Me again!" " Out!" " Let me talk to her." " For the tenth time, Mr. Renaud," "Madame Pickford is no Ionger taking pupils." "Stop  to be, MurieIIe, and simply be!" "Decide what you are: a soubrette with fluttering eyelashes, or a genuine vamp who'II set the stage alight." "Motivation, my dear." "always seek the character's motivation and you'II be fine." "It's the pushy young man..." "albert Renaud... who will make the fairer sex swoon like no one has ever done, who will kiss their cheeks and Lord knows what else, who will fill jealous husbands with dark forebodings..." " albert Renaud." " Short of humility!" "The humble are humble for a reason." "I shall deal with this smug young fellow." "Leave us." "My respects, Mme Pickford." "How horrific!" "A veritable battlefield." "Each waging war on the other to be the most beautiful." "Ah, the caustic look of the true actress!" "Madame Pickford," "I want to be an actor." "darling, my declining years are devoted to the Daughters of the British Empire." "We now welcome French-Canadian girls." "They're wonderful." "Magnifique!" "And they must love you a bit more than you, them!" "Mr. Renaud, enroll with your fellows at the Conservatoire LasaIIe." "They're very nice." "And they really do try very hard!" "only you can get me to hollywood." "I've heard it before." "I'm also Mary Pickford's aunt." "Her great-aunt." "She has taken your name and maybe some of your talent." "You're a scoundrel!" "You manipulate my poor old heart so shamelessly." "Your old heart?" "But it's bursting with life." "You're quite radiant!" "really?" "Take me under your wing." "I shall bedeck you with flowers." "If I were but 20 again!" "I should leave for hollywood, too." "We actors all dream of being adored," "loved by the whole world." "That sorry weakness is our very strength." "100,000 turn out for valentino's funeral!" "New York mourns the Sheik!" "100,000 at VaIentino's funeral!" "Read all about it in La Patrie!" " hello, albert." " hello." "New York mourns!" " OK, lulu?" " Oh, croquias!" "They've all gone from the mountain." "Our scouts have pulled them all up, thank God!" "The vandals!" "They know nothing about the true purpose of flowers." "ThistIes!" "To soften me up, I suppose?" "No..." "For your eczema." "Make an infusion with the buds." "It's an old Indian cure." "What will become of me without you?" "And me without you?" "Without that introduction letter to your niece Mary?" "The letter..." "Oh, the letter!" "Where could I have put it?" "You've been looking for three weeks." "We can write it again." "I leave for Los angeles tonight." "No, no, I must find it." "I've never written such pretty prose." "The letter!" "No." "Something to bring you luck." "Put it on for me." "Good Lord!" "Have you lost your mind?" "Of course I have." "I've lost my mind because I Iove him, and I Iove him because I've lost my mind." " Get out!" " Very well, madame." "How could it be otherwise?" "He's as beautiful as a Greek sculpture, a heavenly cherub, a young wolf, a young buck..." "As beautiful as a final journey." "He reeks of eternal damnation and yet..." "Yet when he approaches I panic and lose control" "albert..." "You never cease to amaze me." "For the letter, the Sheik will act out the scene where he kisses the Beauty." "I prefer the scene where he strangles his rival." "valentino is wonderful..." "Madame?" "Give us a little privacy, damn it!" "The kiss... the kiss..." "PitifuI!" "With passion, albert Renaud." "I'm the Sheik's Beauty!" "The actor must always be able to stir people's hearts." "If you own flame isn't burning, how can you move people to tears?" "I was being VaIentino." "That's where you went wrong, you fool." "To hell with VaIentino!" "I'm asking you to be the Sheik." "albert..." "The movies will soon be talking." "hollywood is in a panic." "And with good reason." "Ramon Novarro talks like a hayseed," "George O'Brien Iisps and Constance TaImadge bIeats like a goat." "My own niece is taking eIocution lessons." "Give me another six months and I'II rid you of your French-Canadian accent." "They'II love my accent." "The Americans will think me... exotic." "They're so open-minded!" "Madame Pickford... the letter." "So be it." "albert, I must confess..." "something too shameful." "I beg of you..." "Stay Victorian!" "Enough!" "albert, you are irresistible." "I've loved you since the first day." "I've loved you, too, Madame Pickford." "Since the first day." "You've been a real mother to me." "That will do!" "Your youth makes you odious." "albert, kiss me!" "Just this once..." "A real kiss." "Since you must leave and never return." "A kiss I shall guard for all eternity." "Madame Pickford!" "telegram for you, Mr. Jackson." "Thank you, George." "NoIton." "NoIton Barnett, at your service." "George!" "AII waiters are called George." "Why complicate matters?" "NoIton." "Cookies made with maple syrup." "From Canada?" "It's a good life up there." "Maybe." "But for an actor..." "I'm going to hollywood." "I'd never leave my Georgia." "This is from my own garden in Georgiana." "Thank you, Georgia." "But isn't Georgia a Iong way from here?" "Yes." "We travel all over." "My wife sends me packages but I haven't seen her in two months." "That's a Iong time." "But the Porters' Brotherhood will change things." " May I?" " Of course, NoIton." "Keep the bag." "Thank you, George." "NoIton." "NoIton Barnett, at your service." "Good old George!" "welcome aboard the silver bullet, miss." "Thank you, Mr. Barnett." "You'II burn in hell if you dishonour our family," "Grace Carson!" "I wasn't born just to be your midwife!" "God gave you to me to do His will!" "God gave me to nobody but myself." "He'II forgive me if he loves women." "The League of the Garter!" "Kissed by the Georgia sun." "Thank you, Mr. Barnett." "well...bon voyage!" " You!" " Sorry?" "You again!" "How handsome you are." "You look well, too." "And I Iove your perfume." "Do you want the name of my embaImer?" "I can't forget that kiss." "It haunts me, I can't erase it from..." "I wanted to assuage your desires and calm your sighs." "I didn't realize..." "Oh, forget it!" "I was already dead, anyway." "I was no Ionger seductive." "And what an exit for an actress, going out on such a kiss!" "You really  the Sheik, albert." "Thank you." "Thank you for everything, Madame Pickford." "You'II have plenty of time to thank me." "It's all just beginning, albert." "hollywood!" "I'm coming to hollywood with you." "What?" "You and me, together in hollywood?" "Yes, Iike Mary Pickford and douglas Fairbanks." "But you're dead." "Now it's the turn of the living." "First you're here, then you're gone." "Not for me, my sweety." "Not for Jane Pickford." "Your magnificent kiss imprinted on my soul the indelible flavour of your lips." "The dead shouIdn't whore with the living!" "Who cares?" "Imagine our names in lights..." "albert Renaud and Jane Pickford in The Sheik of the Ice floe." "Mass hysteria!" "Ta-ta, my poppet!" "Ta-ta!" "Thank you, sir." "You saved my Iife." "When one closes one's eyes at night on a train, one never knows who one will see on awaking." "Miss...?" "Carson." "Grace Carson." "albert Renaud." "would you Iike some water?" "Can I do anything for you?" "No, thank you." "I'm just catching my breath." "It would seem that you have had a tumultuous affair with Mary Pickford." "Am I mistaken?" "Now you are embarrassing me." "really." "Let me read all your love letters and we will be quits." "I fear you'II be disappointed." "No lovers, no love letters." "really?" "I find it hard to believe." "You are so pretty..." "Your lips are ripe and just asking to be eaten, peel and all!" "Such a beautiful fruit, with no one trying to pluck it?" "It's unnatural." "There can't be any lack of suitors." "I am not the sort to make hasty decisions, nor am I looking for a lifetime's pension." "Good!" "I am penniless." "But I can still... share my cookies" "What's more, in my job it's best to stay single." "I'm an actor." "One day, all women will be crazy about me." "That's certain." "How could you love a man worshiped by the entire planet?" "apparently, fame can make one lonely." "Are you going to Los angeles, too?" "Yes." "I couId visit you." "No." "My nursing days are over." " I was a midwife in Carson." " Carson." " Everyone in Carson called Carson?" " Everyone." "My 75 sisters and my father's 13 wives." "Another girl!" "No!" "Not another girl!" "Another girl!" "The poor man is desperate for a son." "Poor man..." "What does he have to complain about if they're all as beautiful as you?" "Women are cattle for traditionalist Mormons." "I lived in a pasture with an enraged bull." " You remind me of him." " Me, an enraged bull?" "My father, too, believes his organ is the centre of the universe." "It's true that, as regards virility, the French-Canadian male is a special case." "During his lifetime he produces enough semen to drown in!" "I see you Iike my cookies." " I can't stop." " Indeed." "They're my favourites." "still nothing but mist!" "I don't care." "It reminds me of the film where Siegfried kills the dragon and bathes in its blood." "There's nothing but sky and prairie." "There are no dragons in that pea-souper." "I want to see the Grand Canyon." "And the Arizona desert." "Do you read the adventures of Arizona Jim?" "It's the Women of the West's Gazette that stirs my dreams." "The future!" "Is everything fine here?" "Yes, it's more or less it is almost pleasant." "Mr. Renaud, my colleagues are crazy about your cookies." "Grace loves them, too." "To make my wine, I use only fruit from the highest branches." "What about prohibition?" "Anything to finance our struggle." "Drink to the Porters' Brotherhood and the League of the Garter!" "Courage, sisters!" "Soon we shall be free to choose the life we want." "Hooray for the League of the Garter!" "We're fighting for the rights of Mormon women." "I'II be their spokeswoman at the congress." "Mormons aren't allowed to drink." "They should." "They're afraid of sin because they've never tasted its pleasures." "You make sin seem very attractive." "So do you, Grace." "You make sin seem very attractive." "To the Brotherhood of Garter Porters... to the Brotherhood of... to the League of the Garter and equality!" "To equality in pleasure, wherever it may be found." "You want as many husbands as the men have wives, I suppose?" "I shall steer clear of such silliness in my speech." "Fine." "I couId help you rehearse it." "I don't need your actor's tricks." "The Congress of the Women of the West is a proforum gressive..." "A progressive forum." "But men can still cheer on all those beautiful Amazons." "You're worse than a Mormon!" "Not even God can make the whole world love Him." "Sorry..." "Sorry." "You saved my Iife, and I just send you packing." "Mary Pickford, United Artists?" "An introduction letter from my late drama teacher," "Jane Pickford, to her niece Mary." "This is all very disturbing." "You write her love letters after administering a fatal kiss!" "dalton's Creek!" "refueling!" "One hour!" "Who is Darwin?" "The scholar who claims apes are the ancestors of men." " Thank you, George." " NoIton." "NoIton Barnett, at your service, Miss America." "If this Darwin is right, some men are closer to apes than others!" "Miss America is in a bad mood." "The welcoming committee is late." "The governor is at the trial of the professor who teaches evolution." "AII I can say is that humans are the only animals whose females depend on the males for food, and whose patriarchs decide everything." "Grace Carson, I shall be there to applaud you at the congress." "Did you say there was a pawn shop?" "That way." "You can't do this to your old teacher." "You don't pawn love for money!" "Save the lesson in morals." "Anyway, who mentioned love?" "Tonight I'm inviting you to dinner." "albert, don't sell this costume!" " How much for this english tweed?" " It's very warm and comfortable." "welcome home, Miss America!" "You are living proof that man does not descend from monkeys." "while I'm governor of this state, evolution will not be taught here!" "Sorry, Miss America, but there's not enough light to film you." "I'II complain to MGM!" "Let the party begin!" "Hooray for Miss America!" "I can't dance." "In Carson we only danced to the beat of father's whip." "She has a certain je-ne-sais-quoi!" "A magnificent couple." "Magnificent!" "AII aboard!" "I'm an actor." "Come on, Iet's talk about MGM." "I'd Iike to help but I'm a reporter." "I don't mix with actors." "would MGM be more interested in a woman's cause?" "definitely!" "real causes touch my heart." "Excuse me..." "charlie Brown, Los angeles Times." "I adore snapping people who are in love." "In love, you say?" "albert dreams of another woman." "But the two of us are having a lovely journey together." "There were 4,000 sheiks at United Artists the other day." "You're not the only pretender to Rudy's crown." "valentino was VaIentino." "I'm the actor who will help America get over the trauma of his death." "I shall be the balm to soothe the hearts of his myriad widows worldwide," "and then, via my films, I shall  albert Renaud!" "I'm less ambitious." "My duty is to inform." "My work depends on rhythm and light." "You know, Grace, a good cameraman must have rhythm, a song that sets the beat of the crank, keeping the movement on the screen natural." "A song?" " Sing us this poem, then." " It's a secret." "Whispered things should not be sung out loud." "Except perhaps on the pillow, to the woman of your dreams!" "careful, Peter..." "Touch the princess and the Sheik will drag you behind his camel!" "albert..." "I've never ridden your camel!" "It's likely to get carried away, Grace." "albert, you have style." "hollywood will love you." "Peter, you're the man I need!" "If needs must, Grace." "I want MGM to cover the congress, in particular, my speech for the League of the Garter." "I'II be there, on behalf of MGM." "You'II be on all the movie screens, and before albert!" "I hope he'II forgive me." "Thank you, Peter." "gentlemen of the press!" "My name is Grace Carson." "I represent the Order of the Garter, fighting for the rights of Mormon women." "I hope you'II all be as sympathetic to my cause as your colleague." "After having campaigned in obscurity for three years for the Federation of the Women of the West, in salina," "I have finally obtained a permanent position in Los angeles." "Our congress is in one month." "It's time you stood up for women's rights!" "Stop excluding us!" "You've all heard of Mormon polygamy." "well..." "If our men can have as many wives as they want, then we women can have all the husbands we wish for." "The twentieth century will be that of Mormon poIyandry!" "albert, will you be my first husband?" "I'II be all the husbands you wish!" "The steak?" "OK, guys, I'm beat." "I'm going to bed." "Is there a party?" "Yes, on board the  that's heading to Los angeles." "Where's the station?" "I must send a telegram." "Los angeles..." "The city of angels!" "The station, sir?" "relax, all Baba." "We'II be at the station before the train reaches Los angeles." "Do you often play at night?" "I used to." "I was the pro here for two years." "But now I have to leave." " Do you play golf?" " No." "A golf ball is a flighty mistress whom one knows by her perfume." "Bewitching." "Ambergris." "In Java, maidens dive into whales' bellies for this treasure." "Rosie is the most beautiful of all." "well, I'II be doggone!" "Two skirt-chasers together!" "Sir, I was aboard the silver bullet..." "Shut up, valentino!" "Mayor Jones, this man has nothing to do with me." "I'm going to United Artists." "I'm an actor from Canada." " From Cana who?" " Not who, da!" "My fiancée." "Da, niet!" "He's a communist." "And drunk as a skunk, too!" "alcohol's not allowed here, pinko." "No, wait!" "I'm not a communist or drunk." ""official proclamation of Turquiose valley, Arizona." ""In view of the fact that Jack Dekker has seduced and sullied" ""many of the town's honorable women," ""the town council hereby orders" ""the incarceration of the aforementioned until he is rid of his pubic lice."" "Most of the women wouldn't talk, but GIadys walker spilled the beans." "Beans aren't all she swallowed!" "hello, Grace." "You missed the sunrise." "The desert aurora is amazing." "I almost woke you to share the pleasure." "Where's albert?" "Your traveling companion wasn't here when I arrived." "That's impossible." "It is odd." "He had a ticket for L.A., didn't he?" "charlie!" "What is it?" "What's happening?" "Have you seen albert?" "albert?" "They were in each other's arms when I fell asleep." "No one has seen him." "Maybe he got off at Phoenix." "What would he do there?" "A man dreaming of hollywood doesn't get off at Phoenix!" "Some men are unpredictable." "albert doesn't change with the wind direction." "Los angeles is his destination and he wouldn't get off anywhere else!" "Anyway, Grace," "I'II be at the congress." "The fate of women matters more than that clown." "Keep still, Mr. Dekker." "I have to get rid of your lice." "I think you can call me Jack now." "You really pulled it off this time, Mr. Mayor." "Grace!" "albert!" "Good Lord, the world's topsy-turvy!" "Those policemen are criminals." "Grace, you have to tell Arizona Jim!" "Grace, are you OK?" "darling, are you alright?" "Yes, thank you, Madame Pickford." "I'II be fine..." "Once I get my breath back." "Grace says she's fine, my dear albert." "What's going on?" "Things aren't always clear in a ménage-à-trois." "There are always things one would wish otherwise." "And vice versa." "It's chaotic!" "Grace has nothing to do with us..." "And anyway, there is no "us"!" " You're dead and you have no right." " Oh, come now!" "She distanced you from me, and now she begs me to find you." "Grace, you want me to help you find albert, don't you?" "Yes, please, Madame Pickford." "I'II do anything you ask." "She's so sweet." "I think she really loves you, albert." "It was you who kicked me of the train, huh?" "So what are your plans now, Dekker?" "From now on, Mr. Mayor," "I'm saving myself for the woman of my dreams." "I swear to respect women, my sisters, and not to lose my head over a hot piece of ass, unless it's behind my power to..." "But no, not even then!" "I promise to be a good boy." "I'm glad to hear it." "That's my Dekker." "And I don't even care if you're telling me a bunch of lies." "Bon voyage, pinkos!" "I didn't imagine it like this..." "Arizona." "They've changed their minds." "Now they'II make me cut your balls off." "W... would you do that?" "If it saved mine, yeah." "Shit!" "Hey, that's damn decent of you guys!" "That's really decent!" "You're good guys!" "Do you want to try?" "No." "No golf for me." "You've hurt me now." "Rosie always leads me where I want to go." "The road's six miles due west." "You're not going to play golf all the way to the road?" "Why not?" "Rosie'II get us out of this." "Tomorrow we'II be in california." "Look how the ball cuts through the air." "Where's the road?" "relax, all Baba." "On a golf course, you find west by looking at the greens." "The grass always leans to the west." "Where?" "Leaning or not, do you see a single blade of grass?" "I must admit that, for the moment, you've got me there." "albert..." "Keep going, Jack." "Find the road." "Think of Rosie, who always leads you where you want to go." "The bitch has taken me for a ride this time!" "Thanks, albert." "That's better." "That's... a Iot better." "Kiss the sky, Rosie!" "DefIower this prim and proper prude America for us!" "Miss Carson, Mrs. Pickford will see you now." "Grace Carson!" "Come in." "Thank you for seeing me, Mrs. Pickford." "So you're looking for albert Renaud?" "Yes." "I was wondering if he'd been to United Artists." "Another sheik..." "Pathetic!" "That costume was given to him by your Great-Aunt Jane, for luck." "Aunt Jane..." "My father died when I was five," "leaving our mother without a penny." "Where was Jane when we needed her?" "But albert had an introduction letter from your aunt." "really?" "AII I know about this albert Renaud is that my aunt's maid is also looking for him, to give him a few undeIivered Iove-Ietters." "The old hussy certainly had an eye when it came to choosing lovers!" "They were lovers?" "She's sublime." "She defends her cause with all the gentleness that she feels for her sisters." "And she's got 75 of them!" "She makes anything possible." "I know that life with her would be so thrilling." "If you only knew her." "Stop it, albert." "This candid and naive speech is giving me cramps." "Either you love a woman or you know her." "One or the other." "In any case, loving is such a selfish act." "You're only indulging your own pleasure by preferring a woman to yourself." "But it seems to me, Jack, that such a preference is what we call "Iove"." "It's only natural that both parties enjoy it." "Love is like ghosts..." "No one has ever really seen one." "The more beautiful a woman, the more qualities you think she has." "Jack, you should see montreal in the spring." "The women are so beautiful your head spins." "The most beautiful in the world!" "Sitting on a bench in the park, watching them walk past, you don't care what qualities they have, you're just happy to watch them." " The most beautiful in the world?" " Everyone says so." "Do they play golf there?" "beautiful, isn't it, Jack?" "We're right at the heart of America, the land of plenty." "Most people wouldn't dream of taking a trip like this." "They think only of making money." "while the most beautiful things are free and there for the taking." "I can see him, darling." "More to the Ieft." "No, the right!" "Grace!" "I can't see him!" "Sorry, darling." "I thought I saw something." "It was just a mirage." "We love you, albert." "We're looking for you, my handsome Iove-of-another, and who knows..." "we may even find you!" "Pickford again?" "She'II never leave me in peace." "Give her what she wants." "She wants to get laid before taking her bow, that's obvious." "Give her what she wants!" "Screw her!" "It can't be as bad as all that, a bit of ghostly hanky-panky!" "We're here and we're going that way... but we're nowhere!" "Deep down that's not such a bad thing." "When you're totally desperate, things can only get better." "You'II learn that one attains a sort of bliss when one discovers to what exact depths of despondency one can sink." "You're delirious, Jack." "I don't care." "playing golf in the desert..." "Shit, I Iove it!" "I'II keep on driving them over those dunes." "Shut up!" " Did you hear that?" " What?" " SeaguIIs." " SeaguIIs?" "SeaguIIs in the desert?" "Yeah, right!" "What else?" "Maybe a little café with a terrace overlooking the sea... of sand!" "Listen, listen!" "Birdie, birdie..." "I can hear seagulls." "You've lost it, albert." "Just as I was growing fond of you." "No, you're the one who's lost it." "I swear I can hear them, Jack." "They're that way." "If you say so, albert." "I've always been afraid of facing a friend's unhappy end." "So I'II agree with you this one last time, before you forget what a good guy I was." "Go, Rosie!" "SeaguIIs..." "I must have hooked it." "How were my feet positioned?" "SeaguIIs, seagulls..." "albert!" "I'm so glad we met." "I was getting bored in the Desert Inn." "You'II love the balmoral, Maria." "bal... mo... rai..." "It sounds nice:" "BaImoraI." "The swankiest place in Phoenix." "I hand-pick my dancers, and all the customers are gentlemen." "Like you, Simon." "Do you Iike it?" "Sand, seagulls..." "AII we need is the sea." "will you dance for me, Maria?" "Just for me?" "wonderful, baby!" "wonderful!" "But it's still not quite right." "You need to give it more... romanticism." "Romanticism?" "More staccato!" "What do you want from me?" "And why are you shouting?" "Oh, that..." "I posed for Lou a Iong time ago." "And I've been looking for you for a Iong time." "You're the jewel of my fIip-book collection, my pièce de résistance!" "The lamb of God never tasted so good!" "Get it over with!" "Hurry up, you pig!" "A sheik!" "kill him, lovely sheik!" "kill him!" "Where did you come from?" "Canada." "God bless the Sheik... of Canada!" "Look!" "Look what you've done to my baby!" "You've killed her!" "I'II massacre you for that, you bastard!" "albert, you were fabulous!" "I Ioved the strangulation scene." "valentino never had your charisma." "You sent shivers down my ghostly back." "Such intensity!" "Madame Pickford..." "I killed that woman." "Such a Iot of fuss over a mere extra!" "And he got just what he deserved." "You're a hero, that's all that matters." "He was a real son-of-a-bitch!" "Forgive my language." "while still alive I was able to control it, but this ethereal existence forces me to use language that's more... more colorful!" "But just between us, my lovely, what a wonderful feeling of freedom, after so long keeping up appearances." "I was her only hope... and I killed her." "III-fate guided me across the desert to commit that irremediabIy absurd act!" "Give me a break, albert!" "This is becoming a bad habit." "I'm the Sheik's Beauty, the only one who matters." "This whining is misplaced, annoying, hurtful and unjust!" "III-fate..." "My ass!" "Grace!" "Have you seen albert?" "Here, darling, and give me a goddamn break!" "albert..." "Without my letter, your future is in fIip-books." "You can forget hollywood, you little opportunist!" "Murderer!" "Arizona Jim!" "I'm the only one responsible." "It's all my doing." "I'm not just a ghost that comes alive only in your dreams." "Did you think I'd stay there while you get all Iovey-dovey?" "Oh, no, my lovely!" "You're not getting out of it like that." "Go to hell, and hollywood with you!" "I'm not an opportunist." "How about this for an audition?" "I have talent, see!" "well?" "Have I grasped my motivation?" "Am I in character, Madame Pickford?" "You've finally got it, albert, you little hard-on!" " That's good!" " No!" "Yes, it's good..." "I'm not stopping now!" "I hope not." "The devil save us, my wonderful lover!" "Oh, heaven!" "albert!" "I've killed Pickford, Jack." "The crazy old woman?" "well done, albert." "She had it coming to her!" "I've killed Pickford!" "I suspected that she was trying to come between us and that she thought I was an asshole." "Some people are like that, they won't accept..." "What the hell happened here?" "I admire women who earn a living with the sweat of their ass, who devote all their skill to their art." "I've often had me some ass without putting my heart into it." "Shut up, Jack!" "I couId have saved her." "albert, you risked your life for hers." "She died full of hope." "You never know what life has in store for you." "Give it a break, Jack." "Remember this..." "The world would admire the strangest of our acts, if it but knew the reasons behind them." "What's with this epidemic of the dead not staying put?" "God be praised!" "We're in california." "Hannah..." "Good morning, Noah." "What am I doing without you?" "Be strong, my love." "only 24 days to go." "Once we've broken the record we'II be rich!" "Yes, 24 days." "Ma'am, this woman needs a doctor!" "A doctor!" "Dr. Sax!" "I was golfing across the desert, showing America to the Sheik of montreal, when we happened upon a madman, who was murdering this young woman." "This young Canadian saved her life." "Noah!" "The sheriff." "Sir, the sheriff is in Desert City." "I have a pigeon that fIies there." "I don't know how I got here." "Don't worry." "She doesn't know where she is." "She says she's never been to America." "Not true!" "Look, Maria..." "That's you in Pasadena." "You're an artist!" "She's fragile, you fool!" "You're safe now, miss." "This Canadian saved your life." "The Americans love Mexicans." "Doctor, I have never undressed in front of a man." "I understand." "I understand, Maria." "The girl's suffering from partial amnesia." "She has no memory of her life in the U.S.A." "Come with me, come on..." "partial amnesia!" "I'd give anything to forget Arizona and get back my virginity." "Sir, I have to send a telegram to Los angeles." "My fiancée works for the Federation of Women of the West." "I have a pigeon that fIies to L.A. too." "Come up." "help me put the body in the ice-box." "Come on!" "The dead can't hurt you." "Come on!" "With you I'm not so afraid." "You're a brave woman." "You've got guts." "My husband is brave." "With the prize money, Dr. Sax will make us partners." "alright..." "In the desert you have to keep moving, always walking." "God was walking at your side and led you to us." "Praise the Lord." "Look at that rigging!" "It's just like being at sea." "Yes, but a sailor's life isn't always a happy one." "Like UIysses, hearing the whirlpool and the song of the sirens." "Sometimes, from the east, I hear seagulls." "We wanted to conceive a child on board." "But the moment she embarked, Hannah was incapable." "Do you understand that?" "She'd never suffered from vertigo before that." "The thought of making love at the top of a pole robbed her of all her faculties." "So large a boat on so delicate a mast." "She has vertigo because she's afraid." "She's afraid for you." "And she's afraid for you because she loves you." "It's all in the swing, Mrs. Steinway." "That's something you most definitely have..." "You definitely have a great swing!" " A swing?" " A swing." "That special movement, so fluid, so poetic, the ultimate harmony between the mind and the body..." "It's when you're in complete symbiosis with the club..." "Like an extra appendage, it becomes part of you!" "Harmony between mind and body..." "An appendage that becomes part of you..." "If only I couId go up there!" "I've tried so many times." "You are so... erotic." "Heroic, I mean!" "Excuse me." "Gas." "I didn't know this place existed." "It's not on the map yet." "We're here because he's up there." "He brought you here?" "To this dump?" "My asthma was killing me in L.A." "You see, my husband..." "is a genius." "He defies the laws of physics." "hello, Mr. Steinway." "It's pretty brave of you to do that, with such a lovely wife." "Jack Dekker!" "GIadys?" "My, it's a small world!" "You screwed my sister, my friends, maybe even my mother!" "My husband nearly killed me!" "You're too classy for elmo." "gentlemen, don't trust your womenfolk when Jack Dekker is around!" "Jack Dekker!" "I don't know who raised you, nor where you come from, nor what your beliefs are, nor what you respect..." "But remember the great commandment!" "Thou shalt not covet the wife of your neighbour!" "calm down, Mr. Steinway." "Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Dekker is a new man." "Crossing the desert," "Jack realized that abstinence suited him better than moderation." "Touch my wife and I'II disemboweI you, Dekker!" "When you get back down onto dry land, Mr. Steinway, we'II play golf together." "You'II learn how to control your emotions and your impulses." "It'II be an opportunity for us to get to know each other." "You want to know me?" "You want to know me?" "You want to know who Noah Steinway is?" "As God is my witness..." "I'm coming, Dekker!" "Prepare yourself!" "farewell, albert." "I'm scared." "And when I'm scared I play golf!" "Noah Steinway!" "Keep your jealous ass on that boat or you'II never see me again!" "Don't give up, captain." "Those are the voices of malefic goddesses you hear!" "Your sirens are called jealousy and blindness!" "Think of our asthmatics!" "And, above all, think of Hannah!" "Mr. Steinway, please..." "You don't want to lose your wife." "Rediscover your trust in her and in yourself, for heaven's sake!" "I've prepared you a room and clean clothes." "That's nice of you, Mrs. Steinway." "I hope Dekker's back tomorrow, when I return to pursue my investigation." "A little goulash, albert?" "I'd love some." "It smells good." "Good enough to wake the dead!" "No, please!" "Leave them where they are." "You're hurt!" "It's nothing, just..." "Let me dress it." "Anyway, it's months and months since I touched a man's shoulder." "Forgive me." "Forgive you?" "What for?" "only children and madmen need forgiving, Mrs. Steinway." "Hannah." "Did you know that Hannah is Hebrew for "grace"." "That's lovely, Hannah." "I'd never been out of Kansas." "The mist blinded me to all but albert." "I'm sorry." "And thank you." "It doesn't matter." "Let's just forget it." "Sisters, this is Peter MaIone of MGM News!" "Yes, MGM will be at the congress in order to show America that woman is the future of man." "I dare to hope, sisters, that Peter MaIone is the future of American man!" "Los angeles, the city of angels..." "I think you're lost, old chap." "This afternoon, as I was playing golf," "Rosie found my friend's message next to a pigeon that had been blasted by a thunderbolt hurled by a jealous man from the masts of a ship sailing through the desert sky..." "Here, get a bath at the salvation Army." "I come on behalf of albert Renaud." "Good God!" "How smitten he must be to have described you with such uncanny accuracy!" "You are Grace Carson." "Here." "I've always dreamed of western beef." "In montreal you just eat old nags." "I should have had salmon, but saImons die after mating, and I find that hard to digest." "Then there was Jack." "If not for him, I'd be with you now, but he's still chasing his first love." "With my letter burned, I have no passport to hollywood." "But I don't care if you love me as I Iove you." "That albert has a wonderful gift for curing vertigo." "Yes." "Hooray for Canadians!" "Grace is too busy looking for you to read what you write." "She gave me the job of returning to sender." "You again!" "The dead go on living for as long as you think about them." "For as long as you think about them." "still want to be my first husband?" " Grace, you knock me out!" " The same here!" "I'II get the breakfast." "What a gorgeous day!" "No rain today." "The district attorney general!" "Hey, charlie, who let you in on the scoop?" "Scoop?" "What scoop?" "The young Canadian who caught the Choreographer." "The Choreographer?" "Yeah, the worst butcher since Jack the Ripper." "And you settled his account for him!" "The guy in the desert was the Choreographer." "A man God himself couldn't have saved, even with a second crucifixion!" "Come on, albert, give us a smile for the front pages." "Rosie!" "We found the vital lead in the end." "AII his victims appeared in these erotic fIip-books." "albert, my friend!" "Peter MaIone." "hello, Grace." "God reunites those whose love is true." "You'II be on all the movie screens." "Let's hurry before our hero rides off into the setting sunset sun." "You know, Buster, it's sort of down to me that those two met." "The small community of Asthma, CA," "and the young actor albert Renaud," "led to the Choreographer's end." "of $3,000 from the D.A." "What a joker, that Dekker!" "Here we see Dr. berlin Sax with Maria Romero," "the Choreographer's attack." "Here in albert's America," "rediscovered her purity." "Thanks to our hero's courage," "on the path of righteousness," "in which she wasted her youth." "officiated at the wedding." "Divine providence, by separating our two lovebirds, only strengthened their love." "Love..." "Iove eternal!" "Before conquering hollywood," "Maria home to Mexico," "no doubt awaits her, too." "It's a dangerous world, a world of madmen, uncertainty and degeneracy." "Yes, America needs a real hero!" "Get to hollywood, albert Renaud." "Peter MaIone, MGM News." "subtitles:" "CNST, montreal Processing:" "global Vision"