"(SINGING) You can tell she's a princess" "She doesn't need a crown" "You can tell she's a princess" "She'll turn the world around" "You can see it in her style" "You can see it in her smile" "You can see it in her flair" "And the way she wears her hair" "Spinning" "Twirling" "Girly" "You can tell she's a princess" "She doesn't need a crown" "You can tell she's a princess" "She'll turn the world around" "Her shoulders are back Na, na, na" "You'll never see her slack No, no, no" "And even if she falls Na, na, na" "She'll laugh and stand up tall Yeah, yeah, yeah" "You can tell she's a princess Yeah, yeah" "She doesn't need a crown No, no" "You can tell she's a princess Yeah, yeah" "She'll turn the world around Yeah, yeah" "But the secret to her majesty" "That sets the girl apart" "Is the kindness that shows royalty" "It's etched upon her heart" "(SIRENS WAILING)" "PHIL: (ON TV) And welcome back!" "Andrea and I are thrilled to be here bringing you the 144th Princess Procession!" "That's right, Phil!" "And where are those princesses processing?" "PHIL:" "Glad you asked, Andrea." "Why, to Princess Charm School, of course," "(IMITATING PHIL) "Where Glorious Girls Meet Dreams Of Destiny!"" "MOM:" "Emily!" "I hope you're doing your homework and not just watching that parade!" "I am, Mom!" "PHIL:" "Yes, every girl dreams it, but only a few can achieve it." "For those born to royalty from kingdoms far and wide, a chance to earn their titles as princesses." "(SIGHS)" "ANDREA:" "And for those born commoners, the opportunity to win a place as a princess' most trusted advisor, a lady royal!" "Boo!" "(GASPS)" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "blair!" "You're here!" "Dance with me, Princess Emily. (CHUCKLING)" "ANDREA:" "Oh, Phil, it's a beautiful day here in Gardania," "I've never seen so many people for the parade!" "PHIL:" "I know, Andrea." "You couldn't be more right." "It's a lovely day, everybody's having a wonderful time... (STATIC ON TV)" "You'II hurt your eyes looking at this." "Let me get your tiara, Princess blair." "(SCOFFS) I am so not a princess." "PHIL:...costumes are magnificent." "ANDREA:" "They are indeed, Phil." "Every girl's a princess." "Some of them just have fancier crowns." "ANDREA:" "Fuchsia." "It's just adorable. (LAUGHS)" "BLAIR:" "Mom okay?" "Kind of." "The doctor says she's comfortable." "Comfortable." "She should be all better." "(SIGHS) She'II get there, though." "I just have to keep working." "Then we can afford our own little house in a better area." "With better doctors for Mom?" "Mmm-hmm, and a better place for you to grow up." "Some place right out of the pictures you draw." "blair?" "Hi, Mom!" "I brought you a blueberry scone." "Oh, thank you." "It's the least I can do." "EMILY:" "It's time!" "It's time!" "It's time!" "It's Princess Charm School lottery time!" "We have to watch!" "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "ANNOUNCER:" "And now we'll hear from Headmistress Alexandra Privet." "At Princess Charm School, those born to the royal life unlock their princess potential." "Yet every year, one regular citizen of Gardania (ALL CHEERING) wins a full scholarship to the school, with a chance to become a lady royal and change her life forever." "Will it be you?" "Oh, I hope, I hope, I hope." "Did I mention I hope?" "When you're old enough you'II enter." "I promise." "To choose this year's lottery winner," "I present Miss Delancy Devin." "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "You of course mean Princess Delancy Devin." "My daughter will soon be ruler of Gardania." "Provided she successfully completes the semester." "Miss Delancy?" "blair Willows." "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "PHIL:" "And there you have it!" "(GASPS)" "Blair Willows!" "This year's winner..." "Yes!" "I knew it!" "Woo-hoo!" "What?" "But... (IN SINGSONG VOICE) Who's a lady royal?" "blair's a lady royal!" "Emily, that's not possible." "Who works in the palace?" "blair works in the palace!" "Uh-huh, go blair!" "I never even..." "Uh-huh, go blair!" "(GASPS) You entered for me?" "Only five or six times." "A day." "For an entire year." "(IN SINGSONG VOICE) Who's gonna be a lady royal?" "blair's gonna be a lady royal!" "Emily!" "(DOORBELL RINGS) (GASPS) They're here?" "They're really here!" "Mom?" "blair Willows?" "Congratulations." "I'm here to take you to Princess Charm School." "No, I'm sorry." "There's been a mistake." "I'm not going to Princess Charm School." "EMILY:" "Yes, you are!" "Emily, I don't belong with a bunch of princesses and lady royals." "Look at me!" "I'm a waitress!" "I've got straws in my pocket and ketchup on my socks." "You look perfect." "Thank you." "But the girls there won't think so." "And I have responsibilities here." "blair, it wasn't right of Emily to go behind your back, but this is a big opportunity." "A position as a lady royal?" "Would change our lives forever." "I'II go." "Yes!" "(HORSE NEIGHING) (GASPS)" "Wow, you get to ride in a carriage!" "It's time to go." "Now?" "Now." "(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Uh..." "Just let me pull together some clothes and I..." "It's all at the school." "We need to leave now, or you forfeit your scholarship." "But what about my..." "Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock." "I Iove you." "I won't let you down." "EMILY:" "blair!" "(NEIGHING)" "EMILY:" "blair!" "Goodbye!" "Goodbye!" "Bye, Mom!" "Bye, Emily!" "Goodbye, blair!" "You'II always be my princess." "(GASPS)" "Ah!" "Great!" "I've already flunked carriage riding." "BLAIR:" "Whoa." "Thanks for the ride." "Uh, hey, I wonder if you could maybe show me..." "Oh." "Or not." "(EXHALES FORCEFULLY)" "(ALL CHATTERING)" "Ooh!" "Hey!" "Pardon me." "(PAWS SCAMPERING)" "(BARKING) (GRUNTS)" "(LAUGHING)" "You scared me!" "(WHIMPERS)" "Aww, it's okay." "You're a good dog." ""Prince." (BARKS)" "(LAUGHS) Good boy, Prince." "Hmm." "You must be blair Willows." "We don't usually find our future lady royals sprawled on the floor." "Oh!" "Um, hi." "Sorry about the floor." "He's just..." "He's very sweet." "Not usually." "He's normally quite shy." "Go lie down, Prince." "I am Headmistress Privet." "Welcome to Charm School." "Thank you." "It's really an honor." "Shall I take you to your locker?" "Princess Charm School was founded on the principles of instilling young women with character and confidence." "And it has been preparing them for royal life for nearly five centuries." "BLAIR:" "Wow." "Emily would love this." "She's always wanted to come here." "Emily?" "My little sister." "She's the one who entered me in the lottery." "I never would have come, but it's a chance to make a better life for her and for my mom." "Ah." "blair, only 27% of the lottery girls make it through to graduation." "Do you think you can handle it?" "I think so." "I'II sure try." "You'II notice that all of our students carry themselves with dignity and sophistication." "(GASPS) Weekly dress-up tea socials!" "Yes!" "And we can give each other fun nicknames and swap shoes!" "(BOTH SCREAM) Shh, ladies." "GIRL 1: (WHISPERING) Dress up tea socials in our dorm room every week!" "This is the original Princess Charm School." "The centuries-old castle." "Most classes and the student dorms are in our new section." "Our world-class amenities include a state-of-the-art digital classroom." "To your left, our OIympic-sized ballroom." "And my personal favorite, our luxurious spa." "I do enjoy a good mani-pedi from time to time." "FEMALE VOICE:" "blair Willows!" "Ah." "Here we are." "blair Willows!" "Anyone seen a "BIair Willows"?" "(SHOUTS)" "(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) At your service, miss?" "This is Grace." "Your personal princess assistant." "Every student at Princess Charm School has one." "They are usually punctual, and usually helpful." "(CHUCKLES)" "I shall leave you in her..." "Capable hands." "I am so sorry." "It was buttercream." "Now if someone spills a pot roast on me, I'II be a complete meal." "I just wanted to give you the traditional welcome cupcake." "You wanna change clothes?" "Follow me." "It has everything a princess student needs." "Books, pens, paper, make-up mirrors, sparkle purse collection. (LAUGHS)" "And of course emergency pumps." "This is my locker?" "Then we've got your beauty supplies." "Jewel-encrusted hairbrush, diamond Iipstick." "Oh, I Iove this perfume!" "Ooh!" "Ugh!" "(COUGHING)" "Ugh!" "I'm so sorry." "It was an accident." "(SNIFFING) Um, Delancy?" "There's such a thing as too much perfume." "Portia!" "Oh, no, you're..." "Furious, that's what I am!" "How dare you?" "Look, Delancy." "They're serving floor cakes." "I just got here." "You just got here?" "(LAUGHS) Let me guess." "blair Willows, the lottery girl?" "Yes!" "So you understand." "Oh, this is all so new to me, and I..." "I understand the lottery is a joke." "Isn't it obvious?" "Commoners like you don't belong here." "Right, Portia?" "(MUMBLED) What?" "Wickellia!" "Yes, Your Wonderful..." "(CHOKES) Ness." "I need a princess pamper package, pronto!" "Make way!" "To the spa!" "Uh, are you taking orders?" "Because I would do anything for a double foam mocha latte." "The floorcake was delicious." "DELANCY:" "Portia!" "As you can see, everyone here is so nice." "Most of the time." "Uh, so let's get you ready for school." "Locker, please extend curtain for a princess primp." "Oh, it's fabulous!" "The best thing about Princess Charm School!" "Go on." "Get gorgeous!" "Oh, pretty as a princess." "Lady royal." "Okay, now your schedule and let's get you settled." "I'd love to." "(DANCE MUSIC ON HEADPHONES)" "Wow." "Hey!" "Our new roomie, right?" "Princess or lady royal?" "Lady royal." "You?" "Princess." "Isla, too." "Do you play?" "(BOTH GRUNT)" "(SCREAMS)" "(GASPS)" "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY)" "HADLEY:" "Nice." "Oh!" "Oh!" "I'm so sorry!" "Are you kidding?" "Isla's been Miss Mum's-The-Word about the tunes and I've been dying to hear them!" "(DANCE MUSIC STOPS) I'm still working on them." "They're not ready for anyone to hear." "Really?" "What I heard rocked." "Yeah!" "See?" "play one of your tunes for us!" "That's okay." "No rush." "I'm Hadley." "blair." "blair Willows?" "The lottery winner?" "Is it that obvious?" "Yup, 'cause they announced it on TV that "BIair Willows" was the lottery winner." "Oh, right." "Sorry." "Guess I'm just a Iittle overwhelmed." "PRIVET: (ON PA) All princesses and lady-royals-in-training are due at the Starlight Welcome in one minute." "(ALL GASP) One minute?" "Whoa!" "(ALL SIGH)" "(STUDENTS CHATTERING)" "(STUDENTS APPLAUDING)" "Welcome, students." "(BARKS) Oh!" "And dogs." "Tonight you begin the greatest challenge of your life, training to be a princess or lady royal, the most important jobs of the realm." "Your classmates, Lorraine and Josette, are bringing around your training tiaras." "Thank you." "PRIVET:" "Don't get too used to them." "Only those who succeed this semester will earn the real versions." "Fail as a princess-in-training and you will not be crowned." "We have very high expectations here." "Each of you must attend every class on time and in uniform, and your grades must be exceptional." "That said, I believe every one of you has princess potential." "Work hard and stay dedicated, and you will achieve it." "(CLEARS THROAT AUDIBLY)" "(STUDENTS APPLAUDING)" "I'm so sorry, Dame Devin, that's a nasty little tickle there, would you Iike a glass of water?" "I'd Iike a proper introduction." "(CHUCKLES) Certainly." "Students." "Dame Devin." "(STUDENTS APPLAUDING)" "I have an earth-shattering announcement." "This is my last semester of teaching before I..." "Um, before my daughter takes over Gardania." "No, no, hold back your tears." "Ms. Privet will take over my classes next year." "In her own little way." "Of course, no one knows the royal life as I do." "I've lived at the palace ever since my dear sister-in-law Queen Isabella and her family died, and it has been my great..." "BOTH:" "If they died..." "BOTH:" "You know the legend?" "What legend?" "There's a legend that Queen Isabella and her family didn't all die in the accident." "I Iove that you know that story." "...and so I welcome you all to Princess Charm School." "May your time here be magical." "(STUDENTS APPLAUDING)" "Two lines, everyone!" "Curtseys to all and then everyone's excused for bed." "(GIRLS CHATTERING)" "HADLEY:" "Favorite legend about the Gardania Royal Family, go." "I don't know any of the legends." "So missing out." "Isla, go." "My fave's a simple one." "Gardania's magical crown." "Gardania's magical crown?" "(GRUNTS)" "Ow!" "(GRUNTS)" "BLAIR:" "Oh, no." "Ugh!" "You again?" "I'm so sorry." "What is with you?" "You're a walking disaster!" "(BELL CHIMING)" "I don't think Delancy and I are going to hang out much." "That's okay, you'II be hanging out with us." "Better believe it." "And wait till classes start tomorrow." "I bet you can do anything she can do." "Sure, I can do anything she can do." "I cannot do anything she can do." "Poise." "Proper poise commands respect, a necessity for anyone in the royal life." "Thank you, Delancy." "(ALL APPLAUDING)" "Now, princesses, lady royals," "let's see what you can do, hmm." "Start with one book and glide, glide." "Smoothly, gracefully." "I can balance a tray of coffee cups for customers, right?" "Of course, I've never done it on my head." "Hadley, you're tenderizing your brains." "Stop." "(ISLA HUMMING)" "That's lovely, Isla." "Thank you, Dame Devin." "Ifyou want to be the crazy princess who hears music in her head." "Whoa!" "Lorraine, you're practicing poise, not lifting weights." "Like a princess, Josette, not a migrating duck." "Portia." "What?" "(SIGHS) You're doing fine." "Come on." "Come on!" "Do it for Emily." "Did you get those shoes at a garage sale?" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "Is it nap time?" "How come nobody told me?" "You." "What do you have to say for this disaster?" "(SIGHS) It was an accident, Dame Devin." "I was trying..." "Stand up." "You're the lottery girl, aren't you?" "Yes, Dame Devin." "I should have known." "Meet my eyes, girl." "A true lady royal never hangs her head." "(GASPS)" "Mother?" "You were going to say something to blair?" "Yes!" "You are utterly unfit for the royal life!" "I want you out of this class!" "(ALL GIRLS GASP)" "You might also think about whether someone from your station in life should even stay someplace where you so clearly don't belong!" "I understand." "They're serving strawberry swirl today!" "Thank you, Miranda." "Don't let Dame Devin bug you." "Legend has it she's actually a reptile alien from the other side of the universe." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "You know what really bugs me, Portia?" "Yodeling hand puppets?" "When a commoner like blair comes to Princess Charm School, she makes it less special." "She makes us less special." "She does?" "She totally does." "Specialness is like this piece of cake." "There's only so much to go around." "If blair takes a huge chunk of it, what's left for us?" "You stole my cake!" "Not me." "blair!" "How dare she!" "I wanted that cake." "Don't worry." "I have a feeling she won't be around to steal cake much longer." "Wickellia!" "Yes, your Royal Sneakiness?" "(WHISPERING)" "So we're coming around showing everyone our school spirit cheer." "'Cause when you've got spirit, it's what we want to hear!" "Thanks, Lorraine." "Josette." "Yeah." "That was cute." "Rhyming and all." "We'II see ya." "Oh, that wasn't the cheer." "Had to make that clear." "But don't you ever fear." "'Cause the time to cheer is here!" "One, two, three!" "BOTH:" "Princess Charm School is the best!" "Royal skills put to the test!" "We can dance and we've got poise!" "Now it's time to make some noise!" "Go, Princess Charm School!" "(CHEERING WILDLY)" "(BOTH HOOTING)" "Wow." "Cool cheer." "Thanks for sharing." "BOTH:" "Part of caring!" "You guys ready?" "(BLAIR GASPS)" "(ALL GIRLS GASP)" "(GIRL EXCLAIMS)" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "I'm so sorry..." "I..." "I have to go." "(LAUGHS)" "Serves her right for stealing my cake." "(SIGHS) Who am I kidding?" "I don't fit in here at all." "I'm like a burp in a symphony." "You have to give yourself more time." "You're right." "With more time, maybe I could destroy the whole school." "No, Dame Devin's right," "I'm not Princess Charm School material." "Seriously?" "blair." "Dame Devin was Princess Charm School material." "What do you mean?" "Oh, I know this story!" "She was a lottery winner, but no princess picked her to be a lady royal, not even her sister-in-Iaw, Queen Isabella." "Exactly." "If Delancy weren't in line for the throne," "Dame Devin would be no more special than anyone else." "Wow." "(GROANS) But it's not just her." "Everyone thinks I don't belong here." "Everyone except you guys." "(KNOCK ON DOOR)" "A little help, please?" "(GRUNTING)" "Ooh, care package!" "(SCREAMS)" "It's for you from..." "Emily Willows?" "(SIGHS)" "Emily?" "Really?" "ISLA:" "That's pretty." "BLAIR:" "Emily drew it." "She loved the story of me being found on my mom's doorstep." "I was only one." "Mom adopted Emily a few years later." "They're everything to me." "PRIVET:" "One-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three, and one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three..." "Ow." "PRIVET: (SIGHS) Again, blair?" "I'm sorry." "You've stepped on eight of my toes!" "I only have four left!" "Two." "You have two left." "That's even worse!" "(BELL CHIMING)" "Thank you, everyone." "See you tomorrow." "Not you, blair." "I'd Iike to see you after class." "Well, isn't that a surprise?" "(STAMMERS) Is..." "Is everything okay?" "No, it's not, blair." "Yesterday Dame Devin recommended we expel you." "Oh." "I can't say I blame her." "I know it's only been a couple of days, but honestly," "I don't think I have ever seen such a disaster of a student come through these halls." "I see." "Tell you the truth, I was almost going to do it." "Did you say "almost"?" "PRIVET:" "almost." "Do you know what it takes to make a princess?" "A crown?" "No, not a crown." "Character." "AII our classes in poise, manners, dancing, they're not superficial." "They build confidence." "But confidence without character is dangerous." "You, blair, have a different problem." "Character without confidence." "So you are going to expel me?" "I'm going to tutor you." "If you can dig deep and find the princess inside you," "I have no doubt you'II graduate with your pick of any lady royal position." "Ifyou can handle it." "Now, what do you say?" "Yes!" "Ooh!" "Uh, rule number one, no hugging the tutor." "Sorry." "I just..." "When do we start?" "Right now." "I can do this because I am perfectly comfortable and at ease with myself and in my body." "That's because you're not surrounded by people who make you feel like a complete nothing." "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Right." "Your turn." "Headmistress Privet, there's no way I can do this." "Not if you don't believe you can." "We start small." "Thirty seconds, right here on the ground." "That's right." "Just like that." "I can't. (GRUNTS) I can't do it." "Yeah, of course you can... (EXCLAIMS) (BARKS)" "Right." "I see we have our work cut out for us." "(WHIMPERING)" "(SINGING) I don't have the balance" "Think I'm gonna fall" "Wish I had the talent" "I don't belong here at all" "Drowning in the pressure" "In over my head" "Why did I think I could do this" "I could have walked away instead" "This is my chance to break free" "Everything's depending on me" "And if I keep trying I'll be" "On top of the world" "Where I can see everything before me" "Reaching up to touch the sky" "On top of the world" "All my dreams are rushing toward me" "Stretching out my wings to fly" "On top of the world" "On top of the world" "Nothing's gonna break me" "Gonna get it right" "Even if it takes me doing it a thousand times" "Trying once is easy" "Discipline is hard" "But nothing can defeat me" "If the change is in my heart" "This is my chance to break free This is my chance" "Everything's depending on me On me" "And if I keep trying I'll be I'll be" "On top of the world" "Where I can see everything before me" "Stretching out my wings to fly" "On top of the world" "I need two rows." "Ladies on the pink line, gentlemen on the blue." "Welcome, everyone, to our joint dance class with Prince Charming Academy." "(SCREAMING) (GIGGLING)" "Ifwe could keep the shrieking to a minimum, it would be much appreciated." "Hmm, it looks like we'II have one extra lady." "Delancy, that's the pink line." "I just don't see Prince Nicholas." "He's the one I want to dance with." "Maybe he's invisible." "No daughter of mine sits on the sidelines at a dance." "But, Mother..." "Looks like you're going to have to sit out this one, dear." "Pity." "AII right, everyone's paired up!" "Let's begin!" "Ugh. (GASPS)" "(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)" "Okay, come along." "Gentlemen, please bow." "Ladies, will you curtsey." "Sorry I'm late..." "(GRUNTING)" "Oh, no!" "I'm so sorry." "It's okay." "No, it's not." "I feel awful." "please." "Thank you." "(PRIVET CLEARS THROAT)" "NICHOLAS:" "Whoa." "Sorry." "I didn't mean to be late." "That's fine." "The two of you can partner up and join the dance." "(GROANS IN FRUSTRATION)" "Now, gentlemen, lightly kiss the top of your partner's hand..." "And dance." "(CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)" "Milady, I am Nicholas, young swain from the east, most privileged to make your acquaintance." "Think that was polite enough?" "Absolutely." "Think you can top it?" "I, kind swain, am blair, maiden of Gardania, honored above all to be welcomed into your swaininess." "Well done." "I try." "(EXCLAIMS)" "(FAST-PACED MUSIC PLAYING)" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Wonderful, everyone!" "Wonderful, now a final bow and curtsey to your partners, and we say our farewells to the young gentlemen of Prince Charming Academy." "(ALL GIRLS GROAN)" "Keeping in mind that you will see them again at the Coronation Day ceremony at the end of the school year." "(GIRLS CHEERING)" "I shall count the moments till then." "As will I, good sir." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "PRIVET:" "I have an exciting announcement." "(GIRLS MURMURING)" "Thanks to the generosity of Dame Devin, dinner tonight will be a chance for you to get a taste ofyour future." "Our manners class served in the palace." "(LAUGHING) Yes!" "Sweet!" "No way!" "The palace!" "Can you even imagine it?" "I grew up in the palace, Portia." "I Iive there." "Oh." "But can you imagine it?" "To prepare for this event, you'II all have the afternoon to pamper yourselves in the spa." "Your princess assistants (CLAPS) will help you take advantage of all the amenities." "Enjoy." "(ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)" "Wickellia." "(WHISPERING)" "(GIGGLES)" "Whoa!" "(SPLASH)" "(BOTH GIGGLING)" "(LAUGHS)" "Top thing you've always wanted to see in the palace that you can't wait to see." "blair, go." "Hmm, I've never thought about the palace, but Emily would go nuts for it." "I want to remember everything so I can tell her." "ALL:" "Manicure time!" "Nice." "Isla, go." "I'd love to find out more about what happened to Queen Isabella and her family." "They're so mysterious." "So true." "I want to find out more about Gardania's magical crown." "Isla mentioned that before." "Emily would love that story." "Oh!" "Tell her the legend." "It's said that the crown glows when placed on the true heir of Gardania." "It lit up on Queen Isabella's head at her coronation, but it hasn't been seen since then." "ALL:" "AII done!" "These are beautiful." "FAIRIES:" "Thanks." "We should go." "The earlier we get to the palace, the more we can see." "(GASPS)" "BLAIR:" "Our uniforms." "Every one is in shreds!" "What are we going to do?" "We're not allowed in class without our uniforms." "And if we skip a class, we get an F." "We can't fail!" "Coronation Day is two days away!" "How could this happen?" "Seriously?" "It was Delancy." "It had to be." "She's the queen of "Make blair Feel Inferior."" "No." "She's not." "No one can make you feel inferior." "Not without your consent." "We're princesses, right?" "We don't even have our crowns yet." "And you..." "I'm not talking about crowns." "I'm talking about character." "The rule is we have to show up to class in uniform, right?" "Currently they're a Iittle too breezy." "Hmm." "They just need a Iittle alteration." "Grace!" "Caprice!" "Harmony!" "Won't that make them breezier?" "Hmm." "It seems blair, Hadley, and Isla are running late." "I do hope they're not skipping class." "I'd hate to fail anyone so close to Coronation Day." "(CHUCKLES)" "Well, time's up." "Oh, come now, Dame Devin." "I think we can wait a few minutes more." "And keep the other students waiting?" "That hardly seems fair." "I'm afraid we'II have to fail all three of them." "BLAIR:" "Wait!" "What do you think you're wearing?" "Those aren't school-issued uniforms." "Forgive me, madam, but they are, in fact, made entirely from the material in our original uniforms." "But that's against the rules." "Actually, Dame Devin, there is nothing in the dress code against what they've done." "Right." "We just used some hard work to unlock our princess potential." "PRIVET:" "And beautifully, at that." "Come, join the class." "(GIRLS EXCLAIMING)" "GIRL:" "Awesome!" "Where did you get new uniforms?" "Those are amazing!" "We made them." "blair made them." "How did you do that?" "I want one." "I didn't know people made clothes." "I thought they came from elves." "You know, Iike toast." "PRIVET:" "Attention, everyone." "Welcome to the royal palace of Gardania." "As a special treat you will have some time before the meal to explore the first floor of the palace." "Enjoy!" "(GIRLS EXCLAIMING)" "Sweet." "Royal secrets, here we come!" "(GASPS) No way." "blair." "It's a picture of blair." "That's not possible." "Why would there be a portrait of me?" ""Princess Isabella, age 18."" "That dog." "It couldn't be!" ""Queen Isabella, King Reginald," ""the Princess Sophia, and their loyal dog," ""Prince."" "No way!" "blair?" "Do you know when your mom found you on her doorstep?" "The date?" "Sure." "I mean, she made it my birthday since she didn't know my real one." "April 26th." "What?" "blair, you know what April 26th is, don't you?" "BLAIR:" "Um, yeah." "My birthday." "I just said that." "It's the day the royal family died in that car crash." "I'm thinking maybe baby Sophia didn't die in that crash." "Maybe she was found and left on someone's doorstep." "No!" "Yes, look at the portrait." "You look exactly like Queen Isabella!" "You could be baby Sophia." "If it's true, and Dame Devin and Delancy know it, that would explain why they're so awful to you, because you're the rightful heir to the throne, and not Delancy!" "Okay." "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard." "(CLOCK CHIMING)" "Dinner time!" "We've gotta go." "HADLEY:" "This is serious, you know." "The whole fate of Gardania is at stake." "BLAIR:" "Come on, you guys." "It's crazy." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Excuse me!" "My daughter has a declaration about how she'II handle things when she's crowned princess in two days." "Delancy!" "Huh?" "I, um..." "Uh..." "I..." "My brilliant daughter noticed that Gardania's poorer sections are a blight to the otherwise beautiful community." "(GASPS) Hey!" "To remedy this she will take over those areas, bulldoze the buildings, and turn the land into beautiful rolling parks, full of trees and grass, and streams." "Wonderful for the environment." "But people live in those areas you just knocked down." "My neighborhood is there." "It is?" "Delancy is aware of that." "Those people will move elsewhere." "How?" "They're like me." "They don't have money." "They can't just pick up and move." "If I were you I'd leave this school immediately and get my family ready to move." "Delancy?" "(SOBS)" "I think it is disgraceful." "Duly noted." "Now, shall we continue our lesson in dinner manners?" "Right, then, students, we will start with our salads." "Outermost forks." "You may begin." "(HORSE NEIGHING)" "Let's go." "blair, are you okay?" "I'm better than okay." "I'm ready." "Ready for what?" "To fight." "If Delancy gets on the throne she's going to ruin my family, and probably this kingdom along with it." "If she gets on the throne?" "She can't, ifwe can prove someone else is the rightful heir." "Gardania's magical crown." "It must be in the palace." "Right?" "The crown glows when placed on the true heir of Gardania." "But we have to find it before Delancy's coronation." "So we have to find the crown..." "ALL:" "Tonight." "BLAIR:" "It's time." "Do we have everything we need?" "Game on." "(ALARM RINGING)" "What's that?" "What's going on?" "(IN SINGSONG VOICE) Fire drill!" "Fire drill!" "There's no time!" "Single file!" "In a line!" "Hmm." "I don't see a fire drill on the schedule." "What about the plan?" "We wait a Iittle longer." "Hopefully, this will be fast." "(GASPS)" "Lovely day for a surprise fire drill, isn't it, darling?" "Mom, what did you do?" "Oh!" "What have you done to your uniform?" "I Iike it, Mother." "Ugh!" "Come on." "Let's join the others outside." "PRIVET: (ON PA) Attention, students!" "You may now return to your rooms!" "How much time did we lose?" "Thirty minutes." "plus another 15 minutes trying to untangle Portia from the tether ball pole." "Let's go." "(GASPING)" "Thieves!" "They're thieves, I tell you." "ALL:" "Huh?" "Arrest them." "What?" "I'm sure it's some kind of mistake, but Dame Devin believes you stole her jewelry." "No!" "I would never!" "Not to save your poor family about to lose their home?" "I doubt that." "plus my daughter, Delancy, saw you." "Didn't you tell me you saw blair poking around in my office the other day?" "I don't..." "I don't remember exactly, but..." "Yes." "Yes, I did." "I demand you search their room." "ALL:" "What?" "Girls, it's procedure." "If you have nothing to hide, it shouldn't matter." "Look what I found." "(GASPS)" "My jewelry!" "That's not..." "I didn't put that there." "Here's another." "No way!" "One more." "We didn't steal anything." "Don't lie." "It's unbecoming." "Lock them up." "Headmistress Privet, I promise you." "With the evidence and the witness" "I'm afraid I have no choice." "Brock, take them to the detaining room." "No!" "We can't investigate until after the ceremony tomorrow." "You will remain detained until that time." "Detained?" "As in, locked up?" "During the coronation?" "I'm afraid so." "Unless there is another way to explain this." "Hmm." "How very disappointing." "I'II say." "Brock!" "Isla, Hadley," "I'm so sorry." "Now neither of you will become princesses." "Don't sweat it." "Who needs a tiara anyway?" "They just make your head itch." "And it's not easy to kick a ball in four-inch heels." "DELANCY:" "Brock, stop!" "I've got something else in mind for the prisoners." "You may turn them over to me." "But my orders..." "Will officially come from me in only a few hours." "The keys?" "They're all yours." "Thank you." "You may go." "If this is your way or rubbing it in, you don't have to." "You've won." "Yeah, we get it." "(SHUSHING) What are you..." "I'm supposed to be asleep." "Tell me, are you really Princess Sophia?" "I..." "I don't know for sure." "But I think so." "I think so, too." "This is a map of the palace basement." "There's something of yours inside the vault." "Gardania's magical crown?" "DELANCY:" "You have to get it." "Let everyone know the truth before coronation." "Once I'm crowned, it's too late." "Gardania's mine for life." "You don't want that?" "I want what's right." "I have to get back." "My mother will be looking for me." "Thank you." "I'II leave a window open for you on the third floor." "Good luck." "(PRINCE BARKS)" "Hey, Prince." "(CONTINUES BARKING)" "Aw, don't look at me like that." "(PANTING)" "(GROANS) I can't play fetch, I'm on duty." "Hey!" "Prince." "Prince." "No, no." "Prince, come here." "I gotta work." "Prince." "Prince." "Come on." "Come here." "That's the window." "Let's hope Delancy did what she said she would." "You're sure this will work?" "Positive!" "Just hold on tight and don't look down." "GUARD:" "Come." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Prince, hey." "Drop it." "Drop it." "Drop it." "Come back here!" "The elevator should be right down this hall." "DAME DEVIN:" "It's time for you to be asleep, Delancy." "You've a big day tomorrow." "(CREAKING)" "Don't move." "What now?" "Laser alarm." "We've got 'em at home." "If we break the beams, alarms go off." "I can't see any beams." "Perhaps a Iittle touch up will help." "HADLEY:" "Nice." "So, how good are you guys at gymnastics?" "I do a mean tree pose." "I think I can do a somersault." "Follow me." "(GRUNTING)" "Whoa!" "(GRUNTS)" "(EXCLAIMING) No!" "This way." "Careful!" "Huh?" "Okay." "No, no." "Whoa!" "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "(BOTH SIGHING)" "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "Welcome, Dame Devin." "Your security is our priority." "Please enter your password." "Password?" "Try something." "What would Dame Devin choose?" "Delancy's coronation day?" "Today's date." "(BUZZER SOUNDING)" "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "You seem to be having trouble." "Would you like your password hint?" "ALL:" "Yes." "Your hint is," ""The day it all fell into place. "" "Ten seconds until your lockdown." "The day it all fell into place?" "Nine, eight..." "What does that mean?" "...seven, six..." "Wait. "The day it all fell into place."" "The day Dame Devin's plans started working." "The day of the car crash." "(MACHINERY WHIRRING)" "Thank you, Dame Devin." "Enjoy." "Not in here!" "(BOTH EXHALING IN RELIEF)" "(GASPING) Hadley, Isla, look!" "Gardania's magical crown!" "How do we get it out of the case?" "DAME DEVIN:" "You won't." "But I shouldn't have too much trouble with it." "(ALL GASPING)" "(CRYING OUT)" "(SCOFFS)" "(WHIMPERING)" "(LAUGHING EVILLY) Goodbye, blair." "Enjoy Coronation Day." "BLAIR:" "No!" "(SIGHING) That's it." "We're sunk." "ANDREA:" "Well, Phil, here it is." "The day we've all been waiting for!" "PHIL:" "My birthday?" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "ANDREA:" "No, it's Coronation Day." "Even now, our beloved princesses-in-training are pulling into the royal palace to receive their royal crowns on their royal heads." "(APPLAUSE)" "Ladies and gentlemen!" "I welcome you to our annual Graduation and Coronation Day..." "This will be the best" "Coronation Day ever, don't you think?" "(METAL CLANGING)" "(GRUNTING)" "(ISLA HUMMING)" "Grace, go find Miss Privet and tell her where we are." "(CRYING OUT)" "(EXCLAIMING)" "(MOANING)" "Now, what are we going to do?" "(CROWD APPLAUDING)" "You are hereby dubbed" "Lady Royal Josette of Zinnia." "(SQUEALING EXCITEDLY)" "You are hereby dubbed" "Princess Miranda of Philadelphia." "You are hereby dubbed" "Princess Portia of Narcissia." "(ALL APPLAUDING)" "(ISLA HUMMING)" "Ugh!" "There is no service at all down here." "(GRUNTING)" "(SIGHS)" "Hmm." "What's this?" "Stand back!" "(ALARM BLARING)" "If only there was a keypad inside the vault." "Maybe there is!" "(FANFARE)" "Standing before me now is Delancy Devin, who will now govern our beloved and flourishing country, Gardania." "Delancy, I now crown you" "Princess of..." "Wait!" "Uh..." "Proper princess protocol!" "(FANFARE STOPS)" "The bylaws state that before a new princess can be crowned, the entire assembly must spin around seven times, in honor of the seven hills of Gardania." "(ALL MURMURING) What is she doing?" "I don't know." "What are you doing?" "You need to be crowned!" "I just..." "Uh..." "Want to do it properly." "Spin, you say?" "It is indeed proper protocol." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "In honor of the seven hills of Gardania," "let us rise and spin around seven times!" "(ALL RISING)" "(BEEPING) BLAIR:" "I got it!" "The phone's linked up with the keypad." "Day of the car crash." "(BUZZING)" "Ugh!" "Dame Devin must have changed the code." "You're right!" "I heard Dame Devin change it when the doors were closing." "I heard it too!" "(HUMMING TUNE)" "That's what I've been humming this whole time." "Let me see the phone." "Do, re, mi..." "Ah!" "I got it!" "Woo!" "Yes!" "We did it!" "Now, hop on one foot to honor those who have hopped before us." "(SNEEZING)" "bless you." "Hey!" "What are you doing here?" "And now everyone must pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time." "Enough!" "The protocols have been satisfied!" "Crown her!" "(FANFARE)" "BLAIR:" "Wait!" "(ALL MURMURING)" "No!" "Do not wait!" "I am making a claim to the throne, because I am Princess Sophia, daughter of Queen Isabella!" "(CROWD EXCLAIMING IN SHOCK)" "You know, there is a resemblance." "This is ridiculous!" "The princess died 17 years ago." "Finish the coronation and make Princess Delancy ruler of Gardania for life!" "Dame Devin, this is a serious claim and we have to..." "We have to crown my daughter." "(GASPS)" "Come on!" "Oh!" "Get away!" "Hah!" "(BARKS)" "(CROWD GASPING)" "It is Princess Sophia!" "You useless child!" "Do you have any idea what you've done?" "I eliminated Queen Isabella so you could be princess one day." "(BOTH GASP)" "(CROWD EXCLAIMS IN SHOCK)" "(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) No, that's not what I meant." "Guards, please take her away." "No!" "You can't do this to me!" "Get your hands off me!" "You have to crown Delancy!" "You have to!" "You'II pay for this!" "blair..." "That is, Princess Sophia, is there anything you would Iike to say to your new subjects?" "(INHALES)" "Hello." "I'm just a regular girl." "But I think Headmistress Privet is right when she says every girl has princess potential." "It is an honor to be your princess." "(ALL CHEERING)" "blair, this is when the Princess of Gardania chooses her lady royal." "Now, I know it's an important decision, so if you need more time, then..." "I already know who I want." "It would be an incredible privilege if my lady royal could be" "Delancy." "But blair, why me?" "I was horrible to you." "I wouldn't be wearing this crown without your help." "Will you accept?" "I would be honored, Your Highness." "JUDGE:" "Lady Royal Delancy of Gardania." "(ALL CHEERING)" "(CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYING)" "PRIVET:" "Ladies and gentlemen, royals of all ages," "(PRINCE BARKING) and dogs, it's time to party!" "(CROWD CHEERING)" "(DANCE SONG BEGINS)" "Here's a special track I wrote myself." "Hope you Iike it!" "(SINGING) All of us" "Fabulous" "Put your hands in the air All of us" "We rule, we rule this school" "We rule it We rule it" "All of us" "Fabulous" "And this is how we do it..." "No way!" "You're spinning your tunes?" "It was totally time." "I Iove it!" "Hey, blair, don't look now, but look now." "Congratulations, Princess..." "Um..." "You can call me blair." "Congratulations on your coronation, too," "Prince Nicholas." "Wouldst thou do me the honor of a dance?" "I would be most delighted." "(BOTH CHUCKLING)" "(SINGING) Jump up, hands in the air" "Crowns on our head, lighter than air" "Come on, now, spin to the left" "Spin to the right, we're graduating" "And it's our night" "We rule this school" "We rule this school" "It's friendship that makes us strong" "And we all belong" "Yeah, we all belong" "We rule this school" "Your Highness?" "There are some important people here to see you." "(GASPING) Emily!" "Mom!" "blair!" "Oh!" "Welcome to our new home!" "Really?" "We get to live in the palace?" "We do." "Oh, blair." "I know it's not exactly the place we dreamed about..." "Are you kidding?" "It's better than anything we ever dreamed about!" "It is, now that the two of you are here." "blair?" "If you're a princess now, does that mean I'm a princess, too?" "Of course." "There is a princess in every girl." "Come on." "I wanna introduce you to everyone!" "(DANCE MUSIC GETS LOUDER)" "(SINGING) Jump up, hands in the air" "Crowns on our head, lighter than air" "Come on, now, spin to the left" "Spin to the right, we're graduating" "And it's our night" "We rule this school" "And we all belong Yeah, we all belong" "We rule this school" "All of us" "We rule this school" "We're fabulous" "We rule this school" "All of us" "We rule this school" "We're fabulous" "We're fabulous" "We're fabulous" "(SINGING) You can tell she's a princess" "She doesn't need a crown" "You can tell she's a princess" "She'll turn the world around" "You can see it in her style" "You can see it in her smile" "You can see it in her flair" "And the way she wears her hair" "Spinning" "Twirling" "Girly" "You can tell she's a princess" "She doesn't need a crown" "You can tell she's a princess" "She'll turn the world around" "Her shoulders are back" "Na, na, na" "You'll never see her slack" "No, no, no" "And even if she falls" "Na, na, na" "She'll laugh and stand up tall" "Yeah, yeah, yeah" "You can tell she's a princess" "Yeah, yeah" "She doesn't need a crown" "No, no" "You can tell she's a princess" "Yeah, yeah" "She'll turn the world around" "Yeah" "But the secret to her majesty" "That sets the girl apart" "Is the kindness that shows royalty" "It's etched upon her heart" "You can see it in her style" "You can see it in her smile" "You can see it in her flair" "And the way she wears her hair" "You can tell she's a princess" "Yeah, yeah" "She doesn't need a crown" "No, no" "You can tell she's a princess" "Yeah, yeah" "She'll turn the world around" "Yeah, yeah" "You can tell she's a princess" "You can see it in her style" "She doesn't need a crown" "You can see it in her smile" "You can tell she's a princess" "You can see it in her flair" "She'll turn the world around"