"I wanted really good to my mother" "She was drug addict" "She was an alcoholic" "She was legally blind" "She was schizophrenic" "But I never forgot that she loved me even if she did" "all the time all the time" "all the time" "Give me the money!" "it's mine!" "it's mine, the state gave this to me!" "If you do not like us do not eat!" "Do not touch me, touch me not!" "Where are they, eh?" "Where are they?" "Where is it ?" "Please, give it to me" "I gave it to you," "Let go mom!" "I gave a 100 to you" "When the check came I gave $ 100 to you to one of you." "to keep them from, you understand?" "Those for us to live on every month it's the same damn thing so you can put it to your arms so we can starve it's mine" "I didn't have it." "You are a liar" "Give it to me, it's mine!" "it's mine!" "We are hungry!" "I can't We need food mom what do you ever do for me, hah ?" "I gave you life" "Do you want me to go on the streets as prostituitmi hah?" "do you want me to do that ?" "I know I do that sometimes, right?" "I need it" "I need it" "I need it" "what is Medina?" "what is Medina, that gives you $ 15,200 at the end of the round of double jeopardy." "I wanted that smile," "Oh God, I wantedthat smile so much" "I was pathetic, wasn't I?" "don't take the Acquedotto" "Mom!" "Dady ..." "she's taking the Acquedotto." "What the hell difference does she make?" " she'll get mugged !" " Who cares!" "Help her father, she can't see, she'll get mugged always a big production" "see, They said they'll fix the light for change" "The muggers will break them again" "No,No" "No, you see she's okay the water runs down hill" "There is no water" "You are wrong, dont you know what the aqueduct is?" "The aqueduct carried water to New York City Well, for over 100 years it did that" "Then they closed it down but now the ghost water,right?" "it carries your mother along." "My father, you could sitdown on a couch and talk to my father" "He just couldn't talk to him for long" "Hey Jane!" "He knew so much, he got all the answers righ on jeopardy." "He's a genius, he've the answer every time!" "Watch where you going" "That's the thing" "Your parents all you gots" "I looked at them as example of what should I find every where in the world and they paid so litle attention to my needs" "but then it felt their needs was so powerful it didn't make me feel gurt or angry but they didn't look into me" "because I felt okay this, This must be the human condition to be so" "And then the world came in" "you took my husband Elisabeth I'll kill you!" "No, Mom!" "I'm not your mother I did you a favor" "Help me cleanup Liz, if they see this they're gonna take us too!" "No, noo!" "get out of my house!" "you're not taking me" "I do not come with you, you understand?" "Noo, noo!" "what happen to the window?" "she threw the cat out" "leave me alone" "Why don't you take the medication and be a good girl?" "She takes it she just take too many other things" " This place is a mess - what happened here" "He took a knife!" "I fell down" " she got a knife - put the knife down" "Alright,Where's the phone?" "we don't have one" " This woman is unfit - you're kidding look you girls have a choice clean this place up help your mother!" "Tell our father!" "Ignore her she's a feminist." "I can take you anytime I want you keep skipping school you keep living like fealthy animal" "hey, hey, Where you going?" "comeback here ,come back!" "you're gonna go to a home and you don't know what it like ?" "They've girls in there they'll beat you down take everything you got you can't have anything" "You'll have to clean bathrooms you'll work there if you don't work here back off!" "back off!" "it's not a show got nothing better to do, hah?" "Mom!" "mom" "mom" "Couldn't they see?" "anyone could see she was in so much pain" "The strugle was so much on the surface so there if anyone cared to look it wasn't like she was running of a good mother to somebody else or not that was a good mother" "she just didn't have anymore to give" "Let me go ! Alright, hey hey hey!" "oh!" "something stinks!" "what is that?" "I was always the smelly kid in class" "Lisa stood on the bucket shower but daddy left her doing she had to marry a doctor she had so many expectations" "I didn't have any expectations, so therefore I guess I stunk" "I scratched for lice, and burn between my legs" "My teachers was always telling me not to fidge it but my underwear..." "I didn't know what to do about underwear" "I just worried that it fell apart" "Alright, people thank you resess is over" "My teeth ached" "I was hungry ..." "The teachers words never seem to reach me" "Words just seems .. fall on the floor" "Give me the test,Liz. there's no point of taking that No, I'll take it." "But you been here what?" "three times this month?" "I'll take it it doesn't look that hard fine" "oh Liz, stay here" "you do smell, you know?" "doesn't your mother tell you..." "No, no ..." "it is my fault I just forget ok Well,when you wanna have shower tonigh will you wash back here?" "I've been saving something for you" "Here ..." "And here, bhow did you do that?" "you've never in school" "I read a lot yeah, what do you read?" "The Encyclopedia" "The lady of the upstairs, Eva, she found one in the dumpster the whole set, well except from R to S" "If you've asked me between R and S I would've done it wrong I was just lucky" "Oh Liz, you have to come to school OK No, I mean it, look it's redeculus you're way too smart not to be here" "I do not understand why toy don't come." "I will." "How can I tell her that school make me sad?" "I had never talked to her, I don't know how to talk to anyone." "My house was not a place that you can come out of it and be normal." " you'll have to come everyday" "It's not a threat, it's promise and is not a threat, is a promise." " Eva, look what I got, - a 100 - thanks to your encyclopedia!" "Good, you gotta get a good marks!" "you don't wanna be an idiot and you keep it up now, you hear me?" "now your mother's back" "My mother is back?" "Well, we had nice quite couple a months, did we?" "The only good thing about taking my mother to the nutt house was that when she came back she was my Mom again she cooked and she cleaned shorthand for the company in a for me, that was the good quite couple of months" "Before the drugs came back in" "Mom .." "momy" "Lizzy" "Are you OK?" "I'm okay pumpkin, you look real good" "I'm Glad you're home mom!" "don't you glad you're home?" "Well, that hospital wasn't too bad it's too green the walls and there were bars on the windows" "I'm sorry, you had to see that, you know and I'm glad you're home" "Look, Look I got a 100" "Ma. no .." "100 is a good good, 100 is the perfect didn't you ever get hundred?" "No !" "hey, I go to school" "I ran away too young." "Do not ever run away from home" "I won't" "I ..." "I will always be here for you" "I know, Mom" "I will always be there ... always" "I know, Mom" "I am sick ..." "I'm sick ..." "I'm sick, I..." "I have AIDS ..." "No. .. no ..." "No, no no ... baby, don't" "They say don't be afraid the say I migh.." "I could live forever, okay?" "but I can't live here" " I gonna go home" " This is home" "No, home to my pops, I will take you and Lisa" "No, no, you have to stay here" "I gotta stop the drugs, and I can't do it when daddy around" "But you'll be alone" "Liz, Lisa is already gone over, just packup your things and let's go" "No no, cause you said pops will beat you you said he raped your sister this is the way it has to be now" "No, stay here" "I can't stay mom!" "Everything was falling apart" "I thought If I stayed I could have stop it" "I thought If I stayed everything some how could stay the same" "just open the door, it's no use" "I know you're in there" "where is your mother and sister?" "they're gone where's your father?" "he's gonna get some food help, he'll be right back." "your teacher called, you still not going to school you never in school We gota do something about this" "Miss Wanda warned you, I warned you, everyone in case workers warned you this is been goining on for years" "we said clean up this place and go to school, clean up and go to school, and you haven't done either one of them had you ..." "Elizabeth, have you?" "No so, what are we gonna do?" "I do not know" "I do you're going into the system I'm taking her" "No!" "But things are better now, my dady buys me big potatoes everyday you're not paying the rent, you're not getting her to school" "I tell him to go, I told you to go to school she's got a mind of her own, she's a feminist this is not a joking matter, pack her a suitcase ..." "now!" "No, no!" "I'll go to school, please!" "This isn't working, we need an adult who is responsible" "My grandfather is responsible!" "My grandfather will take me!" "My sister is there" " your sister goes to school." " I'll go to school!" "I'll go to school, please!" "Not make noise" "I'll talk to him and if he will take you you will be out in 24 hours" "I'm sorry and if he won't?" "You will have time to figure out how to live life" "figure out my life ... do people really do that?" "If they do that , they're falling down in a deep dark hole" "buzzed in, locked in it was like to visiting my mother" "Only I was in the crazy house now" "Get her! I didn't get out in 24 hours, I didn't get out in 24 days, no one wanted me." "they just left me there" "Why don't you go to school?" "That's the big problem I got Here, why dont you go?" "Forom what I can see you have got a discipline problem" "Liz!" "Hey pops!" "You call your mother Jean!" "Come out here, she's here" "I'm late for school but I wanted to see you first" "Thanks Lisa don't screw this up we are doing okay and don't expect too much, she is dying" "Lizzy!" "Mom oh God" "When I think of my life, this is the time I like to think of when I got back and my mother's mind was clear there was no cokain so her schizophrenia medicine kept on working and we go to the cafe, and sit and talk" "eat hamburghers, we were together even with her bad eyes I think she could see me well, she can see my outline and for a while I had my mother again even the park, yea I remember, we used to slide down the hill" "remeber we put down that cart board and we pretend that we sled" " you remember that?" " Yes" " how about the tickle monster ?" " we screamed and laughed about that one" "Yeah, I was a good mother, wasn't I?" "yea, you were fine yeah" "well, I'm really glad we are all together you and me, and Lisa what if dad went off drugs too would that be great?" "Maybe we can go back to University Avenue well,your dad is in a shelter for homeless" "I'm afraid he lost the apartment he kind of ignore the rent, so, you know ..." "What about my stuff?" "got thrown out all of it?" "Even my encyclopedias?" "I'm really sorry , they board up the whole place there was nothing we could do, it just, crap happens I mean ..." "Look, I gotta go around the corner and see few friends just for a minute okay?" "You finsh your burger and I ..." "I'll be right back just be a minute just be a minute" "so that was that, no going back" "I hadn't kept anything together, I only made thaings worse" "If I had only go to school ... if I had only, if I had only ... so that part of my life was over" "I guess the new part have begun" "Elisabeth Murray and you're her mother?" "Yes" "Ah Look, take you to your class now" " Thanks" "A moment" " Bye Mom" " Bye" " are you gona get home okay?" " Yes, I'm just gonna go see my buddies you know they'll take care of me" " Maybe I should come with you" " No no, you gotta stay at school or they'll take you away again go, go ..." "Bye" "so we have nouns, verbs, adverbs and prepositions who's that, duke?" "Thank you" "I wasn't the smelly kid anymore, I had learned to shower every day at the group home and my clothes, even if they came from the shop, all fit but still didn't know how to be in school" "I just don't know how to be normal people, can we try to settle down?" ", Chris would you like to try diagram number 12?" "No" "Bobby?" "you find it a musy Miss ..." "Elisabeth?" "please don't call me that" "That's your name according to these forms" "Liz or Lizzy" "Liz or Lizzy is a nickname aren't nicknames" "No, I'm afraid not chesus, call the girl she wants to be called!" "Elisabeth is a fine name, is the name of a queen, the Elizabethan was the age of Shakespeare" "What's you problem with it?" "My mother calls me Elisabeth when she's going insane ..." "Liz then" "Bobby, the sentence so Where do you go to school before this?" "I didn't how did you fall in here?" "I was in a group home is that freaky?" "yeah" " but you are not a freak" " No it's too bad, I am my Birthday is coming up yeah?" "when?" "Ah, you'll know I'm gonna wear my dad's trunch coat" "I'm gonna come to school with nothing on, but my trunch coat, and a pair of boots and I'll flash all the teahcers Happy birthday ..." "You do not believe me?" "yea I do" "No you don't" "It's a great place, I never had a sopha before" "My grandfather is a little crankie we'll have to be out by 6 by the way" "Liz, where is your phone?" "Make that TV game show Lì" "Never gonna win know what?" "shut up !" "gotta call this number before I forget it" " Do you understand the theorem?" " come on bob!" "give it a wrest the test isn't till like a week" " Can I take that chicken in the fridge?" " Sure is it 6 aleady it's only 4:30 some drunk lady oh, so disgusting she puked on the door" "I'll go open the window" "I don't feel really good, Liza, help me please what, what happen come on This way Alright, up" "I am a good mom, I just need a hug, okay?" "Come on!" "Oh God!" "here we go, All clean, you see she couldn't take living straight, why should I expect her to take dying isn't dying the hardest thing onyone have ever done?" "Everyone is gone" " except you ..." " yeah" "So where does you grandfather sleep?" "Here?" "safe to his daughter?" "But I don't think like that" "Yeah, but don't know he Did some things to her when I was younger, she told me that" "With her sister and not her?" "I figure he did them both ... so your sister is crazy too?" "Yeah, and their mother too, that's why I didn't wanna come here you know, My..." "Mom is getting back to my dad" "I wish My mom would" "He does staff to my sister" "You do not have a sister" "Lucky for her did you tell your mother?" "Yes, I told her but she left him, and cursed him she said she's gonna call the cops, and now she's getting back with him you know, I asked her how she could do that, and she said that she missed him" "she missed him ..." "I was 7 years whe he first stuck it in" "Chris, Chris, don't!" "move in with me" " What, stay here?" " Yeah!" "What .. what will your grandfather say?" "He won't know We will work it out so will never see him he won't get up until after this for work he's like a robot anyway, he's out by eight" "I'm back at 6 out!" "Pops!" "she had no place to stay!" "This not my problem" "Leave her alone!" "Your mother is dying your peace of trash father walked out and stuck me with all of this did I ask this in my old age?" "tell me!" "What are you doing?" "fine, that suits me, you'll end up trash anyway just like your parents" "So I left" "you wanna go get your staff ?" "or you'll leave me here alone" "do anyone of us bargain for our life it seems to me that we're just gonna fall into them and then we have to do the bets we can Let's go!" "My mother was dying, my father was gone but I had to believe that I the road would rise up to meet me" "I was 15 years, when I wen out of door" "What is a home anyway, a roof, bed" "A place when where you go there they have to take you" "If so, I was 15 years when I became homeless" "You get some change?" "Get a job" "how are you doing tonight?" "Good bless you kid" "spend some changes" "Sometimes I felt I had neverhad a home in my life" "Bring it on" "Let's go" "what are you doing!" "come back here" "At other times I knew where ever my mother was that's where my home was" "oh god!" "but month by month she was fading away" "Liz ... yeah!" "where did you go?" "I've been staying with friends" "I miss you" "paps!" "he hit me and you know" "I couldn't stay here" "Alright" "Look!" "your sister told me that you stopped going to school" "I'm gonna go back when?" "when you get better" "They tease me they tease me at the bar cause I shake" "I can't stop shaking" "I think it is becuase of the drinking you should propably stop" "Ok, ok .." "you're gonna get better" "I love you, mom mom" "I love you" "get over there" "sorry!" " Look out!" " Stop" "hey guys, wait up I'll catch you later I'm just gonna ..." "Bye mom" "We took up a collection she isn't coming here anymore becuase she always think you're laughing at she's dead honey she died yesterday morning" "Sometimes I feel that there is a skin on the world and those of us who were born under it can see through it" "we just can't get through it" "My mother was being buried in section 51 the charity plot" "My mother was in there, strangers had put her in there was she naked, was she frightent no, she was gone come on, let's go No, wait a minute there should be a service, there should be a priest, what supposed to happen?" "When you go, we're gonna burry you, that's all it's a she" "it is my mother" " There is no priest?" " Not in these cases, you did know that?" "she is dead, put her in the ground" "Priest or no priest, what does it matter, she was gone, she was already rutting sorry as I suppose to believe she had found a turnal Peace" "you Coming with us?" "will you just go?" "Hey, wait" "Ok .." "let us get out of here, okay?" "Liz, you know ..." "I just .." "I can't I can't do this anymore." "you know.. so, I'm going" "Where?" "group home" "A crazy house" "You know Liz, it's this, this ?" "this is crazy" "you should Come with me" "yeah, so see you around" "People died, things decayed everything that seems so solid is meaning less" "all that we left is the gestures we make gestures in air, that's what we remember" "I remember riding with my mother through the leaves the year ending put her arms around me, when I was little, and she was well that was long ago, maybe it only happened once mybe she betrayed me a thousand times it didn't matter Math will always be as a subject" "we remember what we choose get out of there!" "Where you gonna put the stone?" "there's no stones here , there's no room" "In a week there would be no trace over but what did it matter, this wasn't the real world, and we really live in each others hearts" "She lived in my heart, but I live nowhere, I was all alone in the world" "You are 16 years old with an 8th grade education and when you are down the world spiral that will end in the worst place than you ever dreamed" "you've burned every bridge, you're ran out of every welcome an everyone who has ever believe in you you have let down" "Eva?" "I don't want to be an idiot, I want to go to school" " Yes" " Hi, I am ELisabeth Murray, I have an appointment at 9:30, it's 10:30" "I'm Sorry, the subway got stucked I'm sorry too ,but it's really late" "The school started 3 weeks ago we are just about full kids get on time here honey" "I read the brochure intensive Student participation for the Development of injust community calendar" "I just need one chance" "You can wait and talk to David, but he got this meeting right after" "I knew at that moment I had to make a choice" "I could submit to everything that was happening and live a life of execuses or I could push myself, I can push myself and make my life good" " We'll get to you back on Friday." " Ok, thank you it's a pleasure guys" " Elisabeth" " Liz" "Liz I am sorry, we are making our last decision and I'm already late can I just talk to you for a minute ?" "30 seconds?" "well, there's the application, and the whole big eassy question" "I've already done the eassy I really want this" "I haven't had a lot of gown ups that proved to be trust worthy or in it for the long run .. so..." "Maybe I don't know how to talk to you" "My parents both use drugs, alot of them, I won't go near them, but ..." "I guess I've kind of lived that life style" "I'm embareced now, not how late back I've been I mean..." "I've really never been in school except for the 8th grade, but... but your grades are very good to enter school" "I used to show up last week and take the test, and that's how I got promoted" "I'm smart, I know I can succeed, I just need a chance" "I need the chance I need the chance to climb out of the place I've born in, I mean..." "Everyone I know they just, angry, tired they are trying to survive" "But I know that there is a world out there that's .." "better!" "that's... better developed and..." "I wanna live in it" "Why now?" "My mother died of AIDS, she died couple of months ago and ... it was real .." "slap in the face" "I guess I always thought that she was gonna get better and take care of me .." "it's prety stupid, huh?" "You had never take care of me, I took care of her .." "she was my baby but now she's gone .." "so .." "now it's time to take care of yourslef" "can you get here on time Liz ?" "I'll sleep here, If I have to" "Ok, you're in" "But you told the others you won't know before friday" "you're in" " David" "Thank you!" "He just changed my life!" "that's word's man?" "just take the file and start the paper work, got your transcripts ?" "it's just the easy staff address, phone number we have to have a meeting with your parents or you guardian, get that in, and you are good to go" "Dad" "hey, Lizzy!" "I need your help, please .." "such a Production ... such a production why don't you just stay in Bronx Then you can go to Kennedy" "I don't know how to go to a normal school" "Why, this is not a normal school?" " Well, it is public, but it is like private - yeah" "Dad, Dad!" "I think I can do this yeah?" ", that's good I don't think I can hey, you can, you can well just say you're a long time truck driver that's why they will never see you you're living with your girl friend now or also" "Already, a truck driver who travels, and then I have a companion buckle" " Eva" " Eva !" "that's not good Eva is old enough to be my mother" "Dad!" "I just" "I just need an address, you know?" "A phone number they can call" "Please, please, they can't know I'm homeless they'll call the city and I will be locked again" " Ok .." " Yeah ?" " Ok" "Mr Murray I am Peter, Peter Fidelty, I never actually married Liza's mother" "Sit down, please" "I am grateful you take my daughter in this" "This is a very nice place well, we're still new, we have big ambitions yea, so as Lizzy I guess, she's a feminist" "I knew you excpected that already her mother was actually beautiful, like a movie star but.." "aher mother was also kind of feminist or something like that" "Anyway I thought when I met her she was just, you know ... spirited bu actually she was completly insane" " We just need you to sign right here." " yeah." "and give us contact information address and phone number" "Yes, 3458 University Avenue" " There are a number of apartment?" " Yep, 2b 3b, 3b!" "yea!" "That's right" "That's right we moved upstairs phone number?" "718 5 85 57 67 555 55 67" "Excuse me, are somewhat out of phase so that's it ?" "wI got staff I got to do yea, that's it" "Thanks for coming" "Can I start now?" "It's *** to have someone actually want to come to school, yea" "I'll walk him out" "Alright oh, they give you token here?" "No, I got a job yea, I remember when you're a kid you used to bag groceries down in Foren Road put food in the fridge" " How old are you?" " 8" " I am not a people person, you understand that" " Yes" "I'm just not a people person Liz" "I got nothing to do with you, you know it's not personal" " But you came today though ..." " yep!" "I love you dad !" "oh don't do that, don't love me, it is a waste of energy" "You know, when I was litle you were the most interesting thing in my world everyone was just talking about drugs or sex or..." "just trying to survive the day but you always had ideas it's becuase of you I know there's another way of being" " yeah are you okay?" "yea yea, I'm fine they take care of your dad fine in the shelter" "Actually I'm gonna get my own apartment I would like to do that, you can come stay with me visit me anytime" "your own apartment..." "Yes,they like to do that, they keep the people like me out of the shelters you know,like the patients, you know, people with AIDS" "Hey Listen, alot of changes than jean I got all this medicens now, and I'm clean, So I'm gonna live forever" "Ok, I'll be fine, I'm gonna live forever" "stay in school, I blew this, but you can do this" "Golf Tonkin Remember the Maine anybody?" "Franco-Prussian War?" "You did you get Bismark?" "you didn't get Bismark I didn't get Bismark either" "I thought this Bismark was kinda role so is this Bismark a kizar ?" "stop talking about food, you're making me hungry" "Dave are we gonna have book next year?" "cause I keep losing this things hmm.. textbooks Why don't we use textbooks?" "anyone?" "Too heavy !" "Bzzt!" "they are, but no cigar!" "it's too expensive, the school is so poor Bzzzt!" "I'm keeping my cigar today" "You, new girl Her name is Liz!" "chesus dave she's been here for a week, try to Remember" "Liz, sue me ..." "Here, Textbook, text ..." "book ..." "Up, open it, what do you see?" "Words" "What kind of words?" "the words of the author" "No, no, it is important and what do we have here?" "alot of other people's words and I want you to have them?" "because one point of view gives you a one Dimentional-world" "Cigars!" ", Cigars!" "Bismarck, Marx, the guy who sold me the buble gums Cigars why on earth we could find ourselves To his story ... history but isn't that the deal dave?" "I mean, is there an official history" "New girl, tell him what history is" "History is all of us all our stories count" "that's it, grap your papers I will be in the lounch if you want to talk about it" "hey Liz, this is yours" " hey, new girl - you let me in and you don't remember my name" " oh, I remember your name," " I just like to gang up on your side" "You are pretty smart hah, so as you you gave me an A minus Yes, sounds a very good paper" "How do I make an A Liz, an A minus is an excellent mark" "This is your first working school in ..what .. forever?" "If my words count I want them to be right" "Okay well ..." "Oh!" "What are you still doing here?" " Algebra - yea Well, it's after 11, I locking up" "how many classes are you taking?" "Um, the regular five, then the saturday programming, the night school French and the after school sciences 10 ..." "Now you see why I need the before school math" "It's alot I'm 17, I do not want to be 21 before I finish high school" "So you're trying to do what 4 years of high school in 3?" "2 you need before math school too" "Yeah, you're gonna kill yourself!" "No. .." "I'm gonna live" "I had a down, the B train took 70 minutes to do that entire run" "I've been back 4 times and I would be at school just a little early" "Then David would let me in" "For the first time my life had some order I can count on" "Chris? What are you doing here?" " hanging out - what about the home" " I got hookie" " so how come you didn't look for me?" " I did" "I have been looking for a long time just that ... you haven't been in any other places" "I'm here now and I'm going to a new school, you'd like it" "Hey ..." "hey, come on it will be great, we are together" "Last one out, first one in No, that describes you david how did you get so dedicated" "Well, I'm such a privilage jurk, I wanted to give something back and this is ...?" "My friend Chris, my best friend" " Hi Chris" " Hey" "I want her to come here too it's not a party, you know .. it's a tough place well, she's good for you, she's good enogh for me, come on in" "so, what you were putting on the bored?" "oh we decided to send our top 10 students on schoolarship to Boston" "Cool!" "you ever been?" "I've never been out of New York we went to Queens once Well, you're going" "come on, Noway I'm in the top 10 students well, you're not one of the top, you're the top you're not among the best, you're the best ..." "You got the best grades in this whole place Liz" " yea, so what .. going to Boston?" " All expenses paid" " how long?" " 5 days" " you okay, Liz?" " Yes" "I've just was always been trash, you know.." "You are not trash" "This is to get you thinking about college" " what's college like - it's all crap, shut up!" "You can come too Can't she?" "sure, if she does the work come on chris dream a little, what do you wanna be when you grow up?" "boy, I was grown since I was 7" " Chris ..." " I mean after high school, it's okay" "No, it's not okay I'll be a garbage man, I'll be a prostitute" "who cares what the hell I'm gonna be?" "Welcome to Harvard guys" "So, does it looks like you though it would?" "Better, definitely better" "Liz, they're just people" "Not people like me" "Why not people like me?" "What made them so different?" "becuase of the way they were born?" "I was working as hard as I could so so I didn't end up as food stamps or hustling" "What if .. what if I worked even more?" "I was so close to this skin that I can touch it" "It would be a reach, it's not impossible" " dona, there any other scholarships?" " yea,it's quite a few" "Write 1500 words about the importance of the free market in the free world and win $ 500 yea, I would need only 70 of those, every year" "Ah, there was something brand new from the newyork time, maybe I didn't put them in yet - $ 12,000 every year for 4 years!" " What do you have to do?" "Attach a brief eassy describing what you believe to be the most significant academic achievement and how you have overcome any challenges tor obstacles can I have copy of this?" "I want to stand beside the people in the sidewalk not be so far beneath them" "I wanna go to Harvard, and become very developed read all the bets books" "Then I find myself thinking:" "if I just go crazy?" "even lose every *** of my potential to do that" "I have to do it, I have no choice" " Am I late?" " No, I'm early" " I made you some coffee one sweet ***, right?" " Right!" "Thank you" "Can I have a stamp for this?" "that's the New York Times schoolarship!" "you haven't mailed it yet?" " When is the dead line?" " Tomorrow" "I gave you that 4 months ago, Liz!" "What were you waiting for?" "for today, for me to turn 18 it's your birthday?" "Happy birthday!" "but I don't think that an age required" "No, Thank you but now I can tell the truth, that I was a homeless and no one could come and take me away" "Lisa" "Liz!" "Yes" "What are you doing here?" "I have this interview I am a finalist for a big New York times scholarship" "But, I don't have anything to wear you want my cloth?" "Well, nothing fancy it's just .. something I can put over this" "Thank you" "Mom sold my coat once I couldn't go to school" "I remember" "I cried, I love going to school so much you never went to school how did they gave you the scholarship?" "because I'm homeless and I'm doing really well in school now" "You are not a homeless, Liz, you could stay here" "No I couldn't, you know that ..." "Grandpap hates you !" "I'm going blind like Mom" "I'm scared" "Liz!" "Liz, they kicked me out of the group home with all my stuff" "They can't kick you out you are not 18 years then group with me in Brooklin, I don't wan to go to Brooklin!" "You have to help me!" "I have an interview" " No!" "Liz!" " I have to!" " You can not leave" " I have to" "Chris!" "just let me go through this one thing, and then you can go back and go to school with me" "I don't want to go to school!" "I don't belong there, and either do you" "Yes, I do you think they like people like us into harvard" "The world moves, you just a spec., it can all happen without you situations are not conducive to what you want for yourself someone else's needs someone else's plat is going to be stronger than yours is" "I think people just get frustrated with how harsh life can be" "So they spend their time ** on that frustrations and calling it anger keeping their eyes shut from the wholes situation to all the little tiny things that have come together to make it what it is?" "because I was turn so inward by my Mom and Dad, I got a chance to see how all the litle tiny things come together to make the final product so, I was never ** to wonder why this or why that" "I knew why not that I was happy about it, in fact I was really sad about it most of the time but I was very accepting" "I was very accepting" "I just always knew that I needed to get out" "Is there anything else you would like to tell us?" "I loved my mother, so much .." "I mean" "She was a drug addict, was an alcholic she was legally blind she was schizophrenic" "But .." "I never forget that .. she did love me" "even if she did," "All the time," "All the time," "All the time ..." "I hope you all know how much I really need this how I can't go to college or anything without it" "she earned a 95 average and finished at the top of her class of 150 she did alot completly 4 years high school in 2 she did it while homeless her mother is dead her father is a drug addict and living in shelters" "and anyway I can describe this can't do justice to her accomplishments" "So, I'll just introduce to you our sixths New York time schoolarship winner" "Liz Murray" "everything is changed, my life will never be the same and I don't know what else to say except for thank you thank you very much" "Liz!" "Liz, how did you do this?" "How could I not do it .." "my parents showed me what the alternative was" "Didn't you even feel sorry for yourself" "Sorry?" "Sleeping in the subway, eating out of dumpsters that had always been my life" "I really .." "I feel that I get lucky because any sensive security awas pulled out from under so I was forced to look forward" "I had to , there was no going back" "And I reached the point I just thought:" "Alrigth," "I'm gonna work as hard as I possibly can and see what happens" "And .. now I'm going to college and the New York Times is going to pay" "So you were lucky ... but is there anything you change if you were able?" "Yes" "I'd give it back" "All of it" "If I could have my family back" "I got into harvard," "I got a job at the New York Times," "I got an apartment" "I don't have to carry my whole life with me any more" "I don't have to carry my whole life with me but I do ..." "Every one I have known, Everything I have done pieces chip off, I forget the little things" "I had still hard to carry alone" "so that's why I told you so," "That's why I've told you my story" "Now I can lay that burden down, put it dressed AND... and I can go on" "Hi, Mom" "Liz's father suffering from AIDS and lives in his apartment" "Chris has a steady job and remained good friends with liz" "Liz pays the rent of her apartment with the money she earned from making confrences" "Liz has left Harvard in the spring of 2003." "she continued her studies at college." "She is convinced that her path will come by itself."