"At the end of the World War Tomainia weakened." "Revolution had broken out, her diplomats sued for peace while Tomainia's army fought on, confident its war machine would smash the enemy's lines." "Big Bertha, able to fire 100 miles, was to make its appearance on the Western Front, and strike terror into the enemy." "75 miles away was her target:" "The cathedral of Notre-Dame." "Range: 95,452." "Stand clear!" "Fire!" "Stand by your trigger!" "Range correction: 95,455." "Breach secured." "Stand clear." "Ready..." "Fire!" "Defective shell." "We'll examine it." "Check the fuse." "Yes, the fuse." "Look out!" "Run!" "What's that?" " Air raid." " After Big Bertha." "The anti-aircraft gun!" "To the gun!" "Have you gone crazy?" "Come down!" "What do you think you're doing?" "Have you gone crazy?" "Sir, the enemy have broken through." "Every man to the front." "Muster the gun crew!" "Get your hand grenades, soldiers." "Where's your hand grenade?" "Give him one." "Keep moving." "Come along, hurry up!" "Pardon me, but to work this..." "Pull the pin, count to ten and throw it!" "Let them have it!" "This is no time to scratch." "Pull yourself together." "Take this." "Forward!" "Fall in!" "Hey you, come on!" "Order arms!" "Prepare to attack." "Forward!" "There you are." "The enemy!" "Come on, let's get him!" "May I come in, sir?" " Who is it?" " Friend." " What division?" " 21st artillery, sir." "Take this and keep firing." "I'll be back." "Comrade!" "Help!" "What is it?" "I'm exhausted." "Quick, help me to my plane." "Thank you." "I'll see you get the Tomainian Cross for this." "Only too willing to oblige, sir." "You saved my life." "Thank you." "I'll strap you in." "I can't make it alone." "You'll have to stay with me." "Can you fly?" "I can try." "Lift my hand to the stick." "I haven't the strength." "Take charge of that gun!" "The enemy!" "Quick, lift my hand to the throttle." "We'll fool 'em!" "Hold on to these dispatches." "If we get them to General Schmelloffel," "Tomainia may yet win." "I'm going to faint." "Don't say that." "Sorry." "Where am I?" "Don't you know me?" "Yes, I feel better now." "The blood's returning to my head." "What's below?" "The sun?" "Shining upwards." "Strange." "How's the gas?" "Kept me awake all night." "No, the gasoline in the tank!" "Almost empty." "We must be nearly there." "What time is it?" "Approximately one minute to twelve." "Strange." "We seem to be defying the laws of gravity." "Water." "Quick, I'm going to faint." "Wait a while." "We'll get into trouble if you faint any more." "Just hold it." "I think I..." "Now..." "Take it!" "Something's wrong." "I can't reach it." "It's all gone." "What's the matter?" "Belt too tight." "Loosen it." "I'm trying to!" "We're upside down." "I know it!" "The stick!" "Impossible." "There it goes." "We're out of gas." "Well, I suppose this is the end." "Cigarette?" "Not now!" "I shan't need this any more." "What month is it?" "April." "Spring in Tomainia." "Hilda will be in the garden, tending the daffodils." "How she loves daffodils!" "She'd never cut them for fear of hurting them." "It was like taking a life to cut a daffodil." "Sweet, gentle Hilda." "A beautiful soul." "She loved animals, and little children, too." "We've landed!" "Dispatches!" "Comrade, where are you?" "The dispatches..." "Where are they?" " Are you hurt?" " Take me to General Schmelloffel." "If we don't deliver these, we're defeated." " The war's over." " What?" "We lost." "Hynkel takes power." "The Jewish soldier suffered a loss of memory and remained in hospital for years, ignorant of the change in Tomainia." "Hynkel ruled the nation with an iron fist." "Under the double-cross emblem liberty was banished." "Only the voice of Hynkel was heard." "Adenoid Hynkel said," ""Tomainia was down but today has risen."" ""Democracy is fragrant."" ""Liberty is odious."" ""Freedom of speech is objectionable."" ""Tomainia has the greatest army."" ""The greatest navy."" ""But to remain great we must sacrifice."" ""We must tighten our belts."" "He now speaks to Field Marshal Herring, Minister of War." "Now Herr Garbitsch, Minister of the Interior." "He remembers his early struggles, shared by his two loyal comrades." "A reference to the Jewish people." "The Phooey remarks that for the world he has peace in his heart." "We now pause for station identification." "This is the Pari-Mutual network, bringing you" "Hynkel's address to the children of the double-cross." "The interpreter is Hynkel's personal translator, reading from a prepared manuscript." "Stand by for further commentary." "Go ahead, Tomainia." "His Excellency is about to descend the stairs." "Your Excellency, are you hurt?" "Ride in the other car." "His Excellency seems pleased as he is greeted by Tomainian children." "He pauses before a woman with a child." "Camera!" "Even the baby is thrilled and seems all smiles at the attention." "His Excellency leaves the scene and will return along Hynkelstrasse, where he'll pass Tomainia's modern masterpieces:" "The Venus of Today and the Thinker of Tomorrow." " How was it?" " The speech?" "Very good." "Your reference to the Jews might have been more violent." "What?" "To arouse the people's anger." "Violence against the Jews might make the people forget their stomach." "You're right." "Things have been quiet in the ghetto lately." "Good morning, Mr Jaeckel." "What's good about it?" "Conditions could be worse." "If you think so, you have a great imagination." "You heard Hynkel's speech." "I heard nothing." "I've got my own troubles." "You're better off than a lot of people." "What about the barber?" "Still in hospital." "He's been there since the war." "Why not rent his barbershop for him?" "He won't let me." "Every few weeks he writes to say he's coming back." "A pity it should be idle all these years." "Why worry?" "The government will soon take it from him." "Perhaps you're right." "Not such a good morning after all." "Now you said it." "Hannah." "On the mantelpiece is my tobacco pouch." "Will you get it?" "Everyone is full of troubles." "Yeah, everyone." "Look at Hannah, poor girl." "A hard worker, can't get a job." "Father was killed in the war, mother died last year." "Can't earn enough to pay her rent." "What can I do?" "I can't throw her out." "You need some more." " Where are you going?" " Mrs Shoemaker's laundry." "You'd better take the key." "Mrs Jaeckel and I are going out." "I'm locking up in case the storm troopers start their monkey business again." "Aryan!" "We're Aryans!" "And we go marching by!" "Look, fellows!" "Tomatoes and potatoes." "I'll take a box home." "Hey, the lorry." "Hold it there, will you?" "You have no right!" "Just charge it to my account!" "Nice ripe tomatoes." "Why don't some of you do something?" "If I were a man I'd show you." "What would you do, pretty?" "Not one of you has the guts to stand up alone and fight!" "Is the lorry in case someone hits back?" "Shut up!" "Come and take me." "You'll get medals for it." "You pick on women and rob defenceless people." "Don't rob the poor girl, boys." "Give her back her tomatoes." "I'll have to do it again." "Pigs!" " Patient 33!" " Yes, sir." "An interesting case:" "Amnesia." "Jewish soldier." "Been here since the war." "He thinks it's only been weeks." "Does he knows what's happened?" "No." "His one interest seems to be in his barbershop, which he believes he left a few weeks ago." "He'll have many surprises." "I'm afraid so." " Yes?" " Number 33 is gone." "He was to be examined." "But he's disappeared." "Disappeared?" "Let him go." "It isn't a serious case." "There's little we can do for him." "Come on, get out of here!" "What are you doing?" "I don't know." "Leave that alone." " Don't be silly." " I'm not silly!" "I appreciate that." "When you talk to me, "Hail Hynkel"!" "Who are you?" "I'll show you who I am!" "Come down to headquarters!" "That's my shop." "I don't care if it is or not." "Going to put up a fight, are you?" "Come to headquarters." "Let me tell you something." "Policeman?" "Arrest that man for assault." " Come here, you!" " Leave me alone." "Attacking a storm trooper!" "You'll hear from my lawyer." "He bit my finger!" "Sorry, I didn't mean to hit you." "I enjoyed that." "But you'd better beat it." " I'll call a policeman." " No!" " Why not?" " Are you crazy?" "More are coming!" " More what?" " Wait!" "Come in here." "What's wrong with you?" "Don't be foolhardy." "What's this?" "Who hit you?" "I think it was a gang." "You'd better get fixed up." "We'll investigate later." "What time is it?" "All right, they've gone." "Thanks, mister." "That did me a lot of good." "You've sure got some nerve." "We should all fight back." "We can't fight alone, but we can lick 'em together." "We didn't do so bad." "You're the barber, who was in hospital!" "Mr Jaeckel has talked about you." "We didn't think you'd come back." "The storm troopers will be after you." "You'd better hide." "I'll get the key to the cellar." " Is this the man?" " That's him." "Hail Hynkel!" "Who's he?" "Don't fool with me." "Hail Hynkel!" "Your hands." "Just a moment." "Not here." "Bring him outside." "First you'll finish this." "Here." "Go on, paint that!" "Wait a minute, boys." "I've got a bright idea." "Commander Schultz!" "First in command." "Second in command." "Oh, never mind." "You!" "Who told you to hang people from lampposts?" "What was the trouble?" "A Jew attacking storm troopers." " Where is he?" " There." "Break ranks." "So there you are." "Stand him up." "Get up." "You?" "Don't you remember me?" " You saved my life." " Me?" "Strange." "And I always thought of you as an Aryan." "I'm a vegetarian." "Don't you remember?" "We got away in my plane." "Plane?" "Then we crashed." "Now I remember." "Well, how are you?" "What's my friend done?" "He resisted my men painting his windows." "Any brave man would resist." "I'm sorry for this." "No harm." "In future you will not be molested again." "If you or your friends ever need help..." "Who did that?" "One of my friends." "Hynkel's palace was the centre of the world's greatest war machine." "Behind it was the dynamic Adenoid Hynkel, whose genius ran the nation, whose ceaseless activity kept him occupied every moment of the day." "Marshal Herring is waiting." "Enough!" "I believe we've got something now." "A bulletproof uniform." "The material is as light as silk." "Where?" "I've arranged for a demonstration." "It will only take two minutes." "I can spare one." "Professor Herr Kibitzen." "Actions speak louder than words." "A bulletproof uniform." "One hundred percent perfect." "Shoot!" "Far from perfect." " Where's my secretary?" " In the outer office." "Call her." "Take a letter." "Herring here in the tower room." "We've got something marvellous." "I shall be up." "A parachute." "The most compact in the world." "Worn like a hat." "It will open in 25 feet." "Demonstrate, professor." "Herring, why do you waste my time like this?" "Send Garbitsch here." "Herr Garbitsch is waiting." "Enough!" "What's the meaning of this?" "25 million for prison camps?" "We need to manufacture munitions." " We've made a few arrests." " How many?" "Five or ten thousand... a day." " A day?" " Just a few dissenters." "Dissenting about?" "Working hours, wage cuts, the synthetic food, the quality of the sawdust in the bread." "What more do they want?" "It's from the finest lumber!" "Nevertheless, the people are overworked." "They need diversion." "The people, bah!" "We might go further with the Jews." "Burn some of their houses." "An assault on the ghetto." "Something more dramatic." "When can we be ready to invade Osterlich?" "Three months." "I can't wait." "Napaloni's army might invade first." "We must strike now." "We'll require foreign capital." "Borrow it!" "The bankers have refused." "One man might make us a loan:" "Epstein." " Epstein?" "He's a Jew, isn't he?" " Yes." "Well, let's be big about it." "We'll borrow from Epstein." "It might be difficult in view of our policy towards his people." "Then we'll change our policy." "Tell Schultz all persecution of the Jews must cease." "At least till we've negotiated this loan." "I don't understand it." "The whole ghetto is so quiet." "You can't imagine what was going on." "This Hynkel business." "You weren't here, you were in the hospital, unconscious." "You don't appreciate what a good time you were having." "If things get worse we can go to Osterlich." "That's still free." "Sooner or later we'll have to go." "Anyway, it's nice to see you back." "It's like the old days again, eh?" "How's business?" "Very slow." "The men are in concentration camp." "You should fix up the women." "The beauty parlour business." "Know anything about it?" "You can learn." "You can practise on Hannah." "Hannah, get in that chair, we'll make you look beautiful." "What for?" "He's going to practise on you." "Not with mud on my face?" "No, we'll take some off." "Make me look beautiful?" "Sure." "He can't make you look any worse!" "Mrs Shoemaker's laundry!" "I'll give it to her." "You sit here and enjoy yourself." "I know." "I've seen you making eyes." "Don't pay any attention to him." "I like your shop since it's fixed up." "I wish I had a business like this." "There's no future in housework." "Maybe if I save my money I can have a barbershop some day." "But I can never save." "Money slips through my fingers." "I've always lived up to every penny I've earned." "Why shouldn't I?" "You're here today and gone tomorrow." "Do you believe in God?" "I do." "But if there wasn't one, would you live any different?" "I wouldn't." "Life could be wonderful if people'd leave you alone." "Things are looking brighter now." "Maybe because of you saving Schultz." "Funny how they've left us alone." "Too good to be true." "Do you ever daydream?" "I do." "That's the only time I'm really happy:" "Dreaming." "Sometimes I get so carried away I don't know what I'm doing." "Aren't you like that?" "We're very much alike." " Both absent-minded." " You think so?" "I like absent-minded people." "Like the man who put his watch in boiling water and held the egg!" "All great men are absent-minded." "It's a sign you're smart." "My folks didn't think so." "You have an excuse." "You were injured in the war." "I was born that way." "I wonder why women never grow whiskers." "Isn't that foolish of me?" "I could kick myself in the shins, I could..." "I'll give you a shampoo." "Ain't I cute?" "How did you do it?" "You should try it on yourself." "Fixed up, you'd look handsome." "Four pecks a pound, new potatoes!" "The potato man!" "I have to go." "Take it easy there." "Did you hurt yourself?" " Careful next time." " Here's another one." "How do you do?" "Something's happened." "The storm troopers helped me up." "How wonderful if they stopped hating us, if they let us go about our business like we used to." "How wonderful if we didn't have to go to another country." "I don't want to go." "With all the persecution, I still love it here." "Perhaps we don't have to go." "Wouldn't it be wonderful if they'd let us live and be happy again?" "Full stop." "Nothing works!" "Not even a sharp pencil." "I'm surrounded by incompetent, stupid, sterile stenographers." "I'll get you a pen." "Don't bother!" "I won't send it." "Get out, get out!" "We've just discovered the most wonderful poison gas." "It will kill everybody..." "All right." "Later." "B76 to see Herr Herring." "A lady." "My secret agent." "Your secret agent?" "Tell her to come here." "Have B76 come right in." "Any news from Epstein?" "Our agent reports that all the board of directors are Aryans." " The loan's bound to go through." " Good." "A strike at the arms factory." " The leader?" " Five of them." " Have them shot." " They were." "How many were going to strike?" "Three thousand of them." "Have them all shot." "I don't want dissatisfied workers." "These men are skilled craftsmen." "Let's train others first, then shoot them!" "Cannot afford to be lenient." "The rhythm of production will be affected." "Rhythm..." "All right, have your rhythm." "Spare the strikers and permit them to return to work." "But mark them for future reference." "That's my department." "I'll attend to that." "This way." "The strike leaders are all brunettes." "Not one blond." "Troublemakers!" "Worse than Jews." " Then wipe them out!" " "Doucement"." "We'll get rid of the Jews first, then concentrate on the brunettes." "We shall never have peace till we have a pure Aryan race." "How wonderful!" "Tomainia, a nation of blue-eyed blonds." "Why not a blond Europe, Asia, America?" " And a brunette dictator." " Of the world!" "Why not?" "Aut Caesar aut nullus." "The world's effete, worn out, afraid." "No nation would dare oppose you." "Dictator of the World!" "It's your destiny." "We'll kill off the Jews, wipe out the brunettes, then will come forth a pure Aryan race." "Beautiful blond Aryans." "They will love you, they will worship you as a god." "No, you mustn't say it." "You make me afraid of myself." "Dictator of the World!" "We'll invade Osterlich first." "After that we can bluff." "The nations will capitulate." "The world will be under your thumb." "Leave me!" "I want to be alone." "Aut Caesar aut nullus." "Emperor of the World!" "My world." "The happy hour programme." "Work with the rhythm of music." "Our next selection:" "Brahms' Hungarian Dance number five." "Fifteen cents, please." "Happy hour signing off." "At six, Adenoid Hynkel will address the children of the double-cross." "It seems like the old days again." "How long is it going to last?" "In the papers it's rumoured that Hynkel's going to give the Jews back their rights." "Maybe." "What do you want?" "Business is much better." "Nobody interferes with us any more." "Doesn't that make you feel good?" "The trouble, Mr Jaeckel, is you're so used to bad times, you're unhappy without them." "Get my Sunday shoes." "They're on the windowsill." "I can't find the shawl." "I've got a shawl." "What's going on?" "They're dressing Hannah up to go out." "Is that so?" "She's got a beau." " Who is it?" " The barber." "Now, turn around." " My dear!" "Those hands!" " What's the matter with them?" "Those calluses." "They're so rough." "Maybe I better not go." "Don't be foolish." "He knows you do housework." "Wait!" "I'll get a pair of mittens." "See if he's ready." "Not yet." "He's polishing a bald man's head." "Bad news." "The invasion of Osterlich will have to be delayed." " What?" " Epstein refuses to lend the money." "Epstein refuses, eh?" "Send for Schultz." "Epstein refuses." "What did he say?" "He complained of the persecution and said he wouldn't have any dealings with a mediaeval maniac." "He'll deal with a mediaeval maniac more than he thinks!" "First I shall deal with his people." " Your Excellency?" " Call out the storm troopers." "A little mediaeval entertainment in the ghetto!" "At such a time I think it ill-advised." "Such demonstrations demoralise the country." "Indeed?" "Since when do you care about the ghetto?" "I speak in the interests of our party and the cause of humanity." "You need a holiday." "Fresh air." "A little outdoor exercise." "I'll send you to a concentration camp." "Place Schultz under arrest." "Very well, but remember my words." "Your cause is doomed to failure because it is built on the stupid persecution of innocent people." "Your policy is worse than a crime." "It's a tragic blunder." "Traitor!" "Traitor!" "You're a double-dyed democrat!" "Schultz, why have you forsaken me?" "Excellency, here are the notes for your speech." "I'll not need them." "What I say will not be directed to the ... children of the double-cross but to the children of Israel!" "That Hynkel isn't such a bad fellow after all." "Most amusing." "Get a Hynkel badge!" "A Hynkel badge!" "A fine photo on each!" " We'd better go home." " Yeah." "Let's hurry." "Wait a minute." "What's that?" "Turn off the radio." "The storm troopers!" " Bar that door!" " Get some water!" "Get the women and children upstairs." "Lock all the doors." "You men, stay right here." "We've got to make a stand." "We might as well die as live like this." "Wait a minute." "We have a social call to make here." "Wait a minute!" "Schultz gave strict orders not to molest anyone in this court." "These Jews attacked us." "I don't care." "Orders were to keep out." "You saw that!" "I can't help it." "Schultz's orders." "Let's get going." "Orders or not, I'm going to get that girl." "Out!" "Schultz arrested!" "Hear that?" "He's arrested Commander Schultz." " A Jew corrupted our commander." " Let's kill the louse!" "Schultz is accused of treason, and you know why." "Schultz was a friend of that barber." "Let's get the barber!" "We want the barber!" "It's the storm troopers!" " Get on the roof." " No." " They'll kill you!" " I'll fight." "Don't be a fool, you'll be murdered." "Get on the roof." "All right, here we are." "Smash in the door!" "Come on, we'll give the barber a haircut!" "Where are the bombs?" "There goes the barbershop!" "Never mind." "We can start again." "We can go to Osterlich." "That's still free." "Mr Jaeckel says it's beautiful." "Wonderful green fields, and they grow apples and grapes." "His brother's got a vineyard." "Mr Jaeckel said he'd take me with him." "Now we can all go together." "It'll be wonderful living in the country, much better than a smoky old city." "And if we work hard and don't eat much, we can save money and buy a chicken farm." "There's money to be made in chickens." "Look at that star!" "Isn't it beautiful!" "Hynkel with all his power can never touch that." "All right, the coast is clear." "Commander Schultz escaped." "He's hiding in my cellar." "He's holding a meeting at midnight and he wants you to be there." "Hannah, you come and help Mrs Jaeckel with the supper." "All right, I'll be down." "I don't understand it." "This crazy midnight supper..." "What does this Schultz want of us?" " He wants us to blow up the palace." " What?" "We Jewish people shouldn't get mixed up in such a business." "I know it but Schultz has them all hypnotised." " I knew he was up to some mischief." " Sure he is." "I found him putting a coin in one of your puddings." "Don't worry, I've fixed everything." "Wait and see." "Gentlemen, may I claim your indulgence for a moment?" "We are here tonight to rid the country of a tyrant." "In order to carry this out one of us must die." "In ancient times the Aryan tribe of the Langobardians made human sacrifice to the god Thor." "At a feast by lottery the victim was chosen." "Tonight, at this feast, one of you will be chosen." "Each man will receive a pudding." "Concealed in one of these is a coin." "Whoever gets it must give up his life but he will join the long line of history's noble martyrs and will rid his country of a tyrant." "I know that it is the wish of all of us to be chosen this night to die for Tomainia." "Much as I should like to participate in this ordeal, I cannot..." "Why?" "Don't you understand?" "He's too well known." "It must be somebody like us." "I can't see it like that." "It is a question of my honour." "It is very embarrassing." "Commander Schultz, I apologise for my friend." "Let me say, on behalf of myself and the others, that we consider it a great privilege to die for our country." "Very well, then." "Gentlemen, I shall now retire until fate has chosen the liberator." "Until then..." "Hail Hynk..." "What am I saying?" "Gentlemen, we have pledged our honour." "Proceed!" "Gentlemen, the coin is here!" "What's the meaning of this?" "Somebody made a fool of us." " I did." " What?" "I put a coin in every pudding." "Blowing up palaces and wanting to kill people!" "We're in enough trouble!" "Hannah's right." "We've all been foolish." "Our place is at home, looking after our own affairs." "The papers say Schultz may be in the ghetto." "Here, read it for yourself." "Hannah, read that." ""Mystery surrounds the disappearance of ex-Commander Schultz." ""At police HQ it was believed he may be hiding in the ghetto." ""A certain Jewish barber, reported to be a friend of Schultz," ""is wanted for questioning."" "Me?" "Only for questioning." "Not too serious." "Meyerberg was only wanted for questioning." "We never saw him again." " Who is it?" " It's me, Mr Mann." "Did you hear what they're saying about Schultz hiding in the ghetto?" "I know, I know." "Don't you think it's serious if they find him in the house?" "Don't you realise there are spies everywhere!" "Spies?" "What's the matter?" "He's wanted for questioning." "Where's the Commander?" "In the next room." "If Commander Schultz is found in this house, we'll all go to a concentration camp and have our heads cut off, too!" "Am I arguing?" "Then get rid of him." "You can't throw him out." "Of course not." "But I'd like to know how long he's going to stay here." "Your breakfast is on the table." "Thank you." "I have breakfast waiting at home." "Search every house." " What now?" " They're looking for Schultz." "He's in one of these houses." "They're always looking for somebody." "It's me." "Let me in." "The storm troopers are searching every house." "Tell the Commander." " Did you tell him?" " Yes." " What is it?" " The storm troopers." " What?" " You'd both better get on the roof." "We can't leave all these things." "All of you, pack my cases." "You pack that." "Clear this shelf." "Pack this and this." "This mustn't be found." "Open the door." "They're here!" "Get up on the roof." "Nothing left behind!" " My golf clubs!" " The hatbox!" " Take this." " Come on, let's hurry!" " Where are you going?" " With him." "You'll see him later." " I'll meet you tonight." " All right." "Take this." "Quick!" "Open in the name of Hynkel!" "Stop!" "Look where you are!" "I can't see, wait a moment." "My bag!" "It's right here." "Here it is." "Don't drop the other one." "My golf clubs, not my golf clubs!" "Come here." "They'll see you." "Quick, this way!" "Woah, steady!" " Now be careful." " Yes, sir." "Lucky you didn't break your neck." "You'll pardon me." "I'm sorry." "You guard the back." "Wait a minute!" "I'll have to bother you again." "There he is." "How are you?" "So-so." "Here's your friend." "Your silence will be appreciated." "Take him to the wagon." "Where are you going?" "Smoking room." "Come on, this way!" "Osterlich!" "I am pleased to announce that we are at last ready to march on Osterlich." "This was made possible by the genius of Field Marshal Herring, upon whom I shall now pin a token of my regard." "Turn around." "No!" "Gentlemen." "To Field Marshal Herring!" "To the invasion of Osterlich!" "Elephant!" "Wait." "Napaloni's army is on the Osterlich front." "60,000 men are on the border." "To take Osterlich!" "I can't believe it." "You can't believe it!" "You let him steal a march on us." "I had the ground covered." "Declare war on Napaloni!" "Mobilise every division of the army and air force." "Attack Bacteria at once!" " But..." " Do as I tell you!" " Madness." " Shut up!" "Will you sign this?" "What is it?" "A declaration of war." "Yes." "A pen!" "I'll sign it." "A pen!" "I'll sign it!" "Napaloni..." " It's Napaloni." " Wait a minute." "Napaloni?" "You talk to him." "What'll I say?" "Be nice, affable, pleasant." "Well, well, how are you?" "No, he hasn't been playing much." "You went round in 92?" "His Excellency?" "Just now he's a little hoarse." "No, I mean he can't talk." "May I take a message?" "He says no doubt you've heard about Osterlich." "He wants to discuss it." "Ask him to come here." "His Excellency invites you to Tomainia to discuss the matter." "Very well." "I'll make the arrangements." "He's coming." "Good." "We'll put on the greatest military show the world has ever known." "Napaloni will leave the invasion of Osterlich to me." "And this?" " What is it?" " Your declaration of war." "Peace is declared!" "2,"9"75,000 eager citi"z"ens are massed in the station s"q"uare awaiting Ben"z"ino Napaloni." "Entering the station is our Phooey, ready to greet his guest." "This will cement the friendship between our Phooey and the Dictator of Bacteria." "His Excellency is about to greet the Bacterian ambassador." "How do you do?" "Garbitsch..." "See about the photography." "Tell the press to see that our Phooey is well photographed." " Not the back of his head!" " Yes, sir." "Napaloni's train is coming into the station." "From a pink and white carriage" "Napaloni and his wife will step out and Adenoid Hynkel will deliver his address of welcome." "What's all this mix-up-a?" "They've gone too far." "At ease!" "Bring the carpet." "Why can't-a we get out here?" "No-a carpet." "Who cares?" "Me, Napaloni, I never get out without a carpet." "Lay it down here." "Quick." " It's going back." " What?" "Let's get out while it's stopping." "Shut up!" "Take it away!" "Stay here until they've made up their minds." "You got-a da carpet." "Put it down!" "Here he is." " My friend!" " Napaloni!" "This is indeed a pleasure." "Welcome to Tomainia." "This way." "Pictures!" "Sure." "Salute!" "Another, please." "This is a pleasure, my friend Hynkel." "You want another?" "There." "Where's-a my ambassador?" "Hello, Spook." "How do you feel?" "Look after mamma." "Hynky, did you meet-a my wife?" "That's her." "Let's go." "Tomainia... very nice, very nice." "Your clock is-a slow." "This way." "It's-a very nice people." "The people are very nice." "Thank you." "He's my husband!" "You make a mistake!" "You make a big-a mistake!" "Napaloni's army shall not invade Osterlich." "It belongs to me!" "We shall not discuss the Osterlich situation." "This interview is to impress on him the force of your personality." "To make him feel your superiority." "Napaloni is aggressive, domineering." "We must put him in his place." "But how?" "By means of psychology." "By making him feel inferior." "This can be done subtly." "For instance," "I have arranged that he'll be looking up at you, you looking down at him." "His position will be inferior." "Then again we shall seat him here beside your bust so that if you relax that will always be glaring at him." "Where is he now?" "Resting." "I have arranged that he will enter from the far end of the room." "Another psychological triumph." "He will have the embarrassment of walking the entire floor." "Signor Napaloni is now leaving his room." "He's coming." "Quick, give me a flower." "At all times be above him, before him." "Entering or leaving you must be first." "Hello, Hynky!" "How are you feel?" "My brother dictate!" "You're a nice-a little man." "I'm so glad to see you again." "And my friend the Garbitsch!" "This is a lovely place." "I feel-a fine." "I just had a nice cold shower." "When you have the plumbing fixed it'll be in good shape." "Won't you sit down?" "Well, Hynky, my dictator friend, you." "I must be a-growing!" "What do they give me?" "A baby stool?" "This is not for me." "I like it better upstairs." "Garbitsch, this is a lovely country." "Very nice-a people." "I thought the public enthusiastic." "Sure." "They like to see new faces." "I'm sorry for the mishap that occurred to Madam Napaloni." "What's that?" "I'm sorry for the Napaloni that occurred at the... at..." "Madam Napaloni at the station." "She's not used to public life." "She can't take it." "Match." "I'm sorry..." "Don't apologise." "I find-a one." "I'm simply crazy about this palace." "Ivory and gold." "A lovely combination." "Gets away from that gingerbread idea." "Tell me something, Garbitsch, what's on the programme?" "The grand ball this evening." "And a review of the army." "That won't take-a long!" "I'm afraid it will." "So you got a big army, huh?" "Modesty forbids." "Seems I've heard about it." "I think I'll get me a shave." "We have a barbershop." "Is that so?" "You look blue under the gills." "What do you say we go together?" " Delighted." " Good!" "Very well, this way." "This is it." "I can-a smell 'em." "This is-a very sweet." "It was the library." "A good barbershop." " Too old-fashioned." " Is that so?" "When I get shaved I like something to look at." "So I'm putting in glass walls." "This way, I shall have a view of the mountains." "And this, a view through the glass ceiling." " What's above?" " The ballroom." "In my summer palace I have a barbershop." "Is that so?" "Also with glass walls." "You don't tell me!" "With goldfish inside." "Goldfish swimming inside the walls?" "How do you feed them?" "You can't, they're all dead." "That's why I'm building a new one." " Very interesting!" " You like it?" "The Hynkel stadium." "Before half a million spectators the greatest ever display of arms marches by in review." "Our beloved Phooey and I'll-Dig-a-Ditchy are seated, thrilled by this historic event." "What?" "Nothing." "I'm just chewing." "Some peanuts?" " I've had some." " Good shape." "Here you are, Spook." "Now passing, Tomainia's heavy artillery." "It's all right." "I want to show you my new bombing planes." "They're coming over." " Where from?" " Aroma." "Aroma?" "That's 400 miles away." "Right." "I don't know what's detaining them." "Now passing, Tomainia's light artillery." "Very light!" "And here come the armoured tanks, the pride of Tomainia's army." "The latest design, the last word in modern warfare." "Where's the propellers?" "For going under the water!" "Under water?" "You never heard of tanks that go under the water and fly up-a stairs?" " What's that?" " Under the water and in the air." "Obsolete now!" "We're concentrating on flying dreadnoughts." " What's that?" " My planes!" "Now passing, Hynkel's flying division number 34." "Our planes!" "You're right." "They're yours." "Garbitsch!" "The invasion of Osterlich." "Our troops, tanks and guns will be hidden along the border." "To disarm suspicion, you will go hunting." "Then you will show up at Pretzelburg, meet the army, step into a car and cross over into Osterlich." "Herring and I will be waiting at the capital." "First Napaloni must remove his troops." "To be decided tonight." "Where is Napaloni?" "I'll look for him." "It might be advisable for you to dance with Madam Napaloni." "It'll carry weight." "You mean I will!" "You find him!" "And let me know at once." " Madam Napaloni..." " Your Excellency!" "Why so triste?" "Because I no speak." "No?" "May I have the pleasure?" "Allow me." "Madam, your dancing was superb." "Excellent." "Very good." "Good." " My dear Adenoid." " Benzino!" "I've been looking for you." "Let's go to some quiet place where we can talk-a things over." " As you wish." " An excellent idea." "To the buffet!" "Of course, this way." "There's a Tomainian proverb..." "Funny." "I wish I understand it." "Now about the border." "Yes." "No problem." "It should be no trouble." " What's the matter?" " Wait." "You, too." "Out!" "Out." " So... the border question." " Yes." "It's just a matter of detail." "Formalities." "Strawberries!" " Have you any English mustard?" " English mustard." " That's da hot-a stuff?" " Very hot." "Good shape." "Cream." "Hynky, I'm going to make this very simple." "You agree not to invade Osterlich," "I agree not to invade Osterlich." "We sign, then I remove my troops from the border." "When your troops are gone, I sign." "That's-a right." "Just a minute, you don't understand." "First we sign, then I remove-a da troops." " Precisely." "I sign after." " Just a minute." "Hey, Spook, treaty." "Hold-a dis." "Now, look, you sign-a dis treaty first." "Then I remove my troops after." "Why are we arguing?" "You said I remove first." "I can't sign while they're there." " I won't remove them till you sign." " Why not?" " Why should I?" " Osterlich is a free country!" "Your soldiers are there." "And they'll stay until you sign." "I'll blow them off." "This won't get us anywhere." "To quote an old Latin phrase..." "Strawberries!" "Where's-a my sandwich?" "Another one!" "I don't get this treatment in my own joint!" "Can't we discuss this without passion?" "I'm not-a passionate." "I'm just..." "I want him to sign the treaty." "What would my people think, signing such a treaty when your soldiers are on the border?" "I won't move until you sign!" "Not until you clear the border will I sign!" "Then they remain." "Then I kick them off." "One move from you and my artillery will blow you to pieces!" "And my aeroplanes will bomb your artillery like that!" "You want-a start a world war?" "You and the world I'll throw in the ocean!" "Strawberries!" "Your Excellency, we have..." "I got-a my guns here in the pass and I'll blow him to pieces." "What's the matter?" "What ails you?" "This isn't like you." "Hey, Garbitsch, come here." "What's with Hynky?" "Mustard on his strawberries." "What else can you expect from Hynky?" "My little bambino!" "The Bacterian..." "Tomainia..." "You cannot treat Bacteria this way." "I'll take the Bacterian people and tear them apart, like this!" "Look what he's doing!" "It's an insult to my people!" "He's-a tearing spaghetti!" "He sign-a the treaty or we have a war!" "Give me a-something!" "Quick, give me a-something!" " I have an appointment." " What's this?" "Press." "How's the conference progressing?" "Very successfully." "How did you get in?" "How did he get here?" "You know the regulations about reporters." "No one is to enter the palace under any circumstances, understand?" "There are minor details to be cleaned up..." "Excuse me, we're busy." "The whole world will know we're fighting!" " So what?" " Can't we come to an agreement?" "When he signs." "I sign nothing." "I must speak to you alone." "Do you mind?" "Mind?" "I don't mind!" "Sign!" "Sign!" "He'll have the advantage." "It's a mere scrap of paper." "When his troops are off the border, we can move in." "I'll sign." "What?" "Hold-a this." "Ah, my little Hynky!" "My dictator brother!" "I knew we have-a no trouble." "Two prisoners escaped in officers' uniforms." "Sound the alarm!" "Two prisoners escaped." "The planes are searching for us." "The woods." "No, the open." "The border's that way." "The invasion of Osterlich." "Now or never." "Ducks." "Did you hear that?" "It came from over there." "A yodeller." "Where did you get that outfit?" " What?" " Don't answer back!" "Where's Schultz?" "You won't talk, eh?" " He will when we get him to camp." " Come on." "There it is." "The village of Pretzelburg." "If we can pass through there we're safe." "Through the woods?" "They're swarming with soldiers." "They'd suspect us at once." "If you see anyone, don't look right or left." "We must bluff our way through." "Here they come." "Can you see what they're doing?" " Looking this way." " Keep going!" "They're following us." "Shall we run?" "Certainly not." "Just a little bit?" "Keep walking!" "We could walk faster." "Make up your mind." "Slow down?" " No!" " There's no hurry." "He's here!" "Sound assembly!" "Attention!" "Present arms!" "Turn back?" "No, keep going!" "Hail Hynkel!" "Your Excellency, everything is under control." " Good." " Good." "I have been in communication with Marshal Herring in Osterlich." "The route is well guarded." "Behind us are 200 tanks, 50 armoured cars and 500 machine-guns." " Good." " Good." "Are we ready to start?" " Yes." " Yes." "Gentlemen." "Schultz, I'm happy you're with us again." "Thank you." "Where are we going?" "You're invading Osterlich." "They're coming." "Your Excellency." "The world awaits your words." "What's happened?" "He looks strange." "What's Schultz doing here?" "Pardoned, I suppose." "His Excellency Herr Garbitsch," "Secretary of the Interior, Minister of Propaganda..." "Corona veniet delectis." "Victory shall come to the worthy." "Today, democracy, liberty and equality are words to fool the people." "No nation can progress with such ideas." "They stand in the way of action." "Therefore, we abolish them." "In the future, each man will serve the state with absolute obedience." "Let him who refuses beware!" "Citizenship will be taken away from all Jews and non-Aryans." "They are inferior and therefore enemies of the state." "It is the duty of all true Aryans to hate and despise them." "This nation is annexed to the Tomainian Empire, and the people will obey the laws bestowed on us by our great leader," "the Dictator of Tomainia, the conqueror of Osterlich, the future Emperor of the World!" "You must speak." "I can't." "You must." "It's our only hope." "Hope..." "I'm sorry but I don't want to be an emperor." "That's not my business." "I don't want to rule or conquer anyone." "I should like to help everyone:" "Jew, gentile, black man, white." "We all want to help one another." "Human beings are like that." "We want to live by each other's happiness, not misery." "We don't want to hate one another." "In this world, the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone." "The way of life can be free and beautiful but we have lost the way." "Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into bloodshed." "We have developed speed but have shut ourselves in." "Machinery has left us in want." "Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness, hard and unkind." "We think too much and feel too little." "More than machinery we need humanity." "More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness." "Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost..." "The aeroplane and radio have brought us closer." "These inventions cry out for the goodness in man, cry out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of us all." "Even now my voice is reaching millions, millions of despairing men, women and children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people." "To those who can hear me I say, do not despair." "The misery upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress." "The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took will return to the people." "So long as men die liberty will never perish." "Soldiers, don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you, regiment your lives, tell you what to think and feel, who drill you, treat you like cattle and use you as cannon fodder." "Don't give yourselves to these men, machine men with machine minds and machine hearts." "You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men!" "You have the love of humanity in you." "Don't hate." "Only the unloved and the unnatural hate." "Soldiers, don't fight for slavery, fight for liberty!" "St Luke says, "The Kingdom of God is within man."" "Not in one man nor a group of men, but in all men." "In you!" "You have the power to create machines, the power to create happiness." "You have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure." "In the name of democracy, let us use that power." "Let us all unite, let us fight for a new world, a world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age security." "Promising these things, brutes have risen." "But they lie!" "They do not fulfil that promise." "They never will!" "Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people." "Now let us fight to fulfil that promise!" "Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance." "Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to the happiness of all." "Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us unite!" "Hannah, can you hear me?" "Wherever you are, look up, Hannah." "The clouds are lifting, the sun is breaking through." "We are coming out of the darkness into a new world, a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and their brutality." "Look up, Hannah." "The soul of man has been given wings." "He is flying into the rainbow, into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us." "Look up, Hannah." "Look up!" "Did you hear that?" "Listen..."