"THE CAIMAN" "As Mao says," ""The world is yours, as well as ours," ""but in the end, it is yours"." "We Marxist-Leninists favour a simple lifestyle." "Even the party leaders should live like the workers." "And when the sons of the rich come to us, with their long hair and trendy clothes, we tell them:" ""If you want to work for the party," ""you must give the party all your money," ""otherwise there is no trust."" "Our organisation must build the truly revolutionary party, destroying the revisionist clique of the CP and the unions who have sold out the Italian people to the bourgeoisie and its government." "This revolutionary couple celebrating its union, will fight against all economic deviance and intellectualism which preaches absurdities like struggle in the..." "Fabrizia!" "My name is not Fabrizia." "It is Aidra." "The police!" "I'm trapped!" "Surround the building!" "Quick!" "Police!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "CATARACTs" "Ladies and gentlemen, good evening!" "Thank you!" "We'll now hear how these great little films came to be." "Straight from the lips of the man who produced them." "Our special guest tonight, please welcome, Bruno Bonomo!" " Excuse me, can I give you this script?" " Afterwards." "No, I've got to go now." " The Caiman, I'll read it at some point." " Some point soon!" "Bruno Bonomo, the man who revived genre movies in Italy, years before Quentin Tarantino with films like:" "Moccasin Assassins, smutty Boots, Violence in Cosenza, Maciste versus Freud and the film Bruno watched with us tonight:" "Cataracts." "A film that ruined him." "His house repossessed, his company bankrupt..." "My production company is still..." "Come now, you never made another film." "Your director ended up an optician in Arezzo..." "I believed in it, I thought it'd be a hit." "It was a disaster." "I say that not out of cruelty but to make up for the exile you suffered." "We've missed you terribly these ten years." "What have you been doing?" " I'm preparing a film." " What!" "You tell me like that, out of the blue?" "I'm glad but a little offended." "You dark horse!" "What film are you making?" "A period piece about Columbus returning from America." " Directed by?" " Franco Caspio." "This man is blitzing us with emotion!" "Three major come-backs:" "25 years for Caspio, 10 for Bonomo, 500 for Columbus!" "That's it!" "No need to make a real one." "We'll use this one." "That's a model my grandson made." "Well done to him." "He's grasped the spirit of cinema." "We'll use this." "Luckily, Columbus only returned with one, the..." "The Niña." "We'll pop it into our pool and you'll be amazed." "That's how we made Ocean of Fear." " Remember that?" " No." "Bruno, please, I'm not used to shooting like that." " Not used to shooting at all." " Neither are you!" "Franco, don't worry, you'll have everything you need." " Hello, Paola?" " Marisa!" "I was wondering what to bring tonight." "Yes it's early, but I wanted to get ahead." "Do you really think I can make a movie with a toy like this?" "We shoot it all with that!" " They can use the money." " I can bring dessert." "Our set designer is Fritz simmons." " But he's an alcoholic!" " No, he's stopped drinking." "Some crew..." "For a year, it's been just you and me." "Thursday, after I sign with RAI we'll discuss the crew." "You could at least have given me an assistant!" "I've asked often enough." "Come Thursday, you'll have assistants, sets, wardrobe, the lot!" "Listen." "Yesterday, at Dino Risi's 90th birthday" "Aurelio de Laurentiis asked me if he could read the script." "He's heard about it for so long and he's interested." " Dino Risi's birthday?" " Yes." "He no longer invites me." " Got it!" " Andrea, look what Dad found!" "No, that's not flat." "No, it's exactly like this 12, but this isn't it." "Been searching for over an hour." "Roberto's dad said you played well on saturday." "You never tell me anything." "Sorry, but just help me find that piece otherwise I'll never finish the spaceship." "A yellow, flat 12." "A yellow, flat 12." "How did it go last night?" "Good, they screened Lady Cop in stilettos." " And Cataracts?" " Of course." "And was Aidra there too?" "No, she can't appear in public." "She's wanted by the police the world over." "Really?" "Why is that?" " So, tonight's story..." " Is Aidra in it?" "Yes, only I can't recall where we stopped." "At the bit where she'd become a top chef working in a restaurant." " Which was called?" " Slave of Love!" "In this restaurant kitchen, Aidra is almost unrecognisable." "No one knows her true identity." "In her new life, she's loved by all." "All, except a food critic who always slates her food." "But one day, this nasty critic returns to the restaurant to do another article." "A moment she's eagerly awaited." "Stuffed escalope sicilian style, Puerto-Rican risotto, rice alla piacentina." "Tripe à la mode de Zurich, stock-pot with apples, boiled veal trotters..." "After a while the first dish arrives." "A fork sinks into the risotto." "The critic barely tastes it and then calls the waiter." "Everything's OK." "He's tasted it." "He's left a bit..." "He's left it all." "Is that right?" "How can a restaurant like this dare rustle up a Puerto-Rican style risotto with a julienne of peppers?" "It needs spanish olives!" "You and your palates should never set foot here again!" "Never again!" "Bananas à la Copacabana, tomatoes stuffed with scrambled egg!" "Chicken à la sparafucile!" "I was waiting for you." "I'm not sure about this recipe." "What dish is this?" "They look alive." "They are alive." "But you are dead!" "Please forgive me!" "I've had sinusitis for 15 years." "I've lost all sense of taste!" "These films were considered Fascist, can you imagine?" " We were Fascists." " No, you weren't!" "Let me be the judge of that." "You fought the dictatorship of auteur cinema." "You were the antibodies." "Just two different ways of doing the same job." " Antibodies." " Franco, what's up?" "Listen, Bruno." "These people pay well." "They take everything, even trailers." "Have you got trailers?" "All except smutty Boots." "It got stolen in Viterbo." "I'll get it from the Ministry." "Young people want to see your films." "No one asks for them." "We'll do a box set." "I'll remaster the negatives, add tasty extras, an interview with Paola..." "Forget it!" "She doesn't want to hear anything about cinema." " Got the cuts?" " Cuts?" "The censor's cuts!" "I was never censored." "Of course you were!" "500 frames of suzy the Woman Hater." " 15 seconds!" " Well, you did go a bit far!" "All I have are my movies and this studio." "A piece of Italian cinema history!" "Where all we do is tele-shopping." "And gladly." "Only they haven't paid in 6 months." "Just a minute..." "Marisa, what's going on?" " He says he's leaving." " Where to?" "Franco, wait!" " What are you doing?" " Just let me go." "It's in the bag." "I've got an appointment with RAI!" " Has De Laurentiis read the script?" " Yes, and he likes it." "Since he bought Napoli all he thinks of is football." "Peppe too, he reckons that..." "Peppe!" "Tell him!" "Together, you can still do amazing things." "Shut your mouth!" "I remember what you wrote about me." ""The violent use of supersonic zoom" ""reminds one of home-movies."" " You wrote that!" " 30 years ago." " I have not forgotten it!" " What a memory..." "Come now, don't go." " Give me that box." " No, please." "Forget it." "Let go, please!" "No one wanted you, I was the only one who believed in you!" "Give that to me!" "What the hell do you want it for?" "You'll break it!" "I never want to see you again." "Never again!" " Franco!" " Unbelievable." "Come back here right now!" "Andrea!" "Focus." "Keep your eye on the match." "Ref!" "I'm making substitutions." "Emanuele and Gianluca," "Giuseppe and Nicolas." " Well done." " Let's start." "Stay there." "Coach!" "I know my son's not great, but I feel he has improved." "Sure, but that's not important..." "Even Roberto's dad said he played well." "Yes, true." "But don't worry, they all get a game." " I'll bring him on." " Sorry." "So, Giuseppe... sorry." "Will you put him up front or in defence?" "I feel he's better as a defender..." "Dad, please!" "Mr Bonomo, don't worry." "I don't want to interfere in your technical choices... but have you seen number 16?" "Are you sure he was born in '96?" "He looks bigger." "They're all the same age." "Well, I'll just sit and watch." "Do your best!" "Aidra doesn't know what to do." "She's been underwater for seven minutes, pursued by four men with knives between their teeth." "Suddenly, Aidra..." "has an idea." "What was her idea?" "And I would disturb their sleep?" "Well, Andrea dragged me to see Men in Black 1 and 2, Matrix..." "Mystery of the Templars, The Incredible Hulk, full of explosions, killing, villains..." "The fact is, you don't want them to see you in Cataracts." "Only I'd like them to know that their parents did something together." "The kids know something is amiss." "Enough about the kids knowing." "They don't!" "I told them I'm not sleeping here as I'm filming by night." "They believed me." " They always ask..." " Bruno, we're separating." "We have to talk to them." "It's not a real separation, we said we'd think it over." "Maybe things will improve." "We seem to be getting along better." "Why do you say they know?" "Have they said something?" "No, it's just that..." "Andrea wakes up crying uncontrollably almost every night because he's lost a tiny piece of some toy." "In that moment it's what he cherishes most in the world." "He screams that we must find it." "We switch on the light, then Giacomo wakes up and cries too." "Sometimes even I cry." "Hours go by before we can get back to sleep." "I've got to go..." "I'm expecting something." ""Thousands of banknotes swirling around." ""Billions of lire from the 70s." ""Where have they come from?"" ""Billions and billions and billions of lire." ""All this money, fallen from heaven." ""Where has it come from?" ""All this money?" ""Where has it come from?"" "Hello, sorry to call so late." "Can I speak to Teresa Mantero?" "This is Bruno Bonomo." "I have a script here, The Caiman... with your phone number..." "You were the girl with the baby?" "Right, I remember." "Why did you give the script to me?" "I see, I was last on the list." "Of course I've read it." "Yes, interesting." "But I'd rather not discuss it over the phone." "Perhaps we could meet..." "Fine, let's talk again." "Goodnight, Teresa." "Good morning, Marisa." " How are you?" " Fine." "What's up?" "I was wondering what to do about today's meeting with RAI for The Return Of Columbus." "I'm not sure." "We'll see." " Did Franco Caspio call?" " No." "The bank called." "We're overdrawn by 40,000 euros." "They suggested staggered repayment." "What's that?" "Staggered repayment?" "No calls, please." "I have a script to read." "However if my wife calls put her through." "Scene 6, exterior, day." "We are in Milan, in the early seventies, for the inauguration of building work." "I want to build a district that inspires optimism." "Pessimists can do no good in life." "One, two, three!" "Here you go." "I want to build a town which has everything." "The birth clinic, the school, the work place, cable TV made especially for housewives." "This project is costing 500 million a day." "Could you tell us who gave you the money?" "All this money, where does it really come from?" "I'd rather not answer that right now." "In fact, not ever!" "Waiting for me?" "We wanted to ask you as administrator of Edilmilano..." "You probably misunderstood, I'm just a consultant, responsible for general management." "We inquired into the provenance of your money which is managed by 22 secret holdings." "I have no secrets, and anyway these holdings don't belong to me." "No, they belong to nominees, housewives, pensioners, even a poor stroke victim." "But we know it's all yours." "There's only one thing we don't know:" "Where did it all come from?" "Don't disappoint me." "Don't you ask that question too!" "You're smart." "Too smart for the job you're in." "Yes?" " Did Paola call?" " No." " And Franco Caspio?" " No." "Two years of collaboration and not even a call!" "So much for gratitude." "If any friends call, put them through." "Put everybody through, even strangers." "I want to be disturbed!" "When did you last see a helicopter in an Italian movie?" "This is an action film!" "Suitcases full of cash of unknown provenance, bids for power, crowd scenes..." "All this money, where does it come from?" "A mogul who wants to build an entire city." "And Columbus?" "Too sad!" "He came back from America with a single caravel." "There's no audience for period films." "But this is a film of today." " Is Caspio still directing?" " No." "She's a young, talented director." "You just switch the first contract advance from Columbus to The Caiman." "Bruno, it's not that easy." "But this will cost a lot less." "Savings all round!" "Sure, but it's a totally different film." "And this girl's an unknown!" "I know her." "Just read the script." "Not that again!" "I want to work here!" "Enough!" "I'm trying to help you here, can't you cooperate?" "What should Plop do?" "I don't get it." "Plop is a bird who falls from a tree." "A man or an animal passes by... and mistakes him for something." "What do they mistake him for?" "All right, I get it:" "The bird looks like..." " I'm off." " Will you be back late?" "You're so pretty!" "Even prettier than usual." "Why do you rehearse evenings?" "Because the conductor is busy during the day." " In ten minutes, you stop the film." " So soon?" "It's a good film." "So watch till the end." "As usual, we just give in." "He asked when you'd be back." "You'll be asleep." " Will you wake me?" " Sure." " Wait." "I need to ask you something." " It's late." " What could Plop be mistaken for?" " I have no idea!" " Nice jacket!" "I had never seen it." " It's new." "So, what are you singing for the concert?" "Cantatas by Handel." "First a Baroque concert, then us." "Plop is afraid of the dark, that might be the solution." "It's not a riddle, it's to develop the imagination." "So we have to invent." "We'll try." " All right." " Goodbye." " So, are you happy?" " Really happy." "Nobody else was interested." "I sent the script to many producers, yet they didn't even call to say they didn't like it, or didn't have time to read it." "And now we are even going to RAI..." "No surprise there." "I'm just doing my job." "So, how did you present the project?" "See this?" "The last Italian pirate movie was shot entirely here." "The subject might be a too much for them." "It was called Blackband's Last Words, ever heard of it?" "Never." " Do you know any of my films?" " Just Cataracts." "So?" "It's not really my genre, but..." " But it's funny?" " Yes, some scenes..." "What exactly did you tell those TV guys?" "Let me show you how we used to make movies." "What did you tell them?" "This is a saloon, made by an excellent set designer." "I'll introduce you, we could use him for your film." "We were shooting two movies at the same time." "Bloody Vigils For sheriff Clark and The Revenge Of The Wild Witches." "One by day, the other by night." "What did I tell them about The Caiman?" "From the very start, I knew they were interested." "At last, an ambitious, solid film." "We'll see what they think of the script." "I tried to explain the story but I got a bit lost at the end." " Yes, the end may need..." " No, it was my fault." "While talking, I lost the plot." "Because, in fact, I hadn't read it all." " You hadn't read it?" " I read it like this... diagonally." "I skimmed it." "Right now I just can't focus." "I've a lot of problems, personal too..." "What are you saying?" "I'm even taking Omega 3s!" " What are you saying?" " Teresa, I didn't read the script." "Don't worry, it'll work out fine." "How could you present it to the TV not having read it!" "What are we going to tell them?" "Don't worry." "I go on gut feeling." "This film has it all, I know it." "Action, atmosphere..." "It's there, let's go for it!" "I just got stuck with the money-runners." "It's complicated, I couldn't figure it out!" "Let's go back to the start." "You remember Cesari?" "The inland revenue officer who discovered the Caiman's slush funds has now become his right-hand man." "Into the Caiman's newly built district drives a black car." "From a safe, Cesari takes billions in state bonds which are taken to a bank in the Republic of san Marino, where they are converted into cash." "This cash is taken to Milan and kept in a secret apartment." "This is where the money-runners come in." "These guys specialise in taking money abroad." "They each take 500 million lire, cross the border and lodge it in a secret swiss bank account." "What was the money in the swiss bank accounts used for?" "The defendant is charged with using it for illicit party financing, to bribe judges for favourable verdicts and tax evasion." "So by now it's clear that the Caiman is based on Berlusconi." "Watch it!" "What an idiot!" "Of course!" "The helicopters, the stadium, the tax inspectors..." "And I hadn't twigged!" "Bruno, he's talking to you." "What is it?" "What do you want?" "Look what you've done." "You want me to make a lefty political film?" "I hated them even 30 years ago!" "What did you think it was, Cataracts 2?" "I wish it was!" "It took me ten years to win favour with RAI!" " The knock-for-knock!" " What?" "The knock-for-knock!" "The knock-for-knock declaration!" "Hand me that thing..." "The banks won't give me a cent, they'll take the studios..." "I told them it was an action movie and now I tell them we're doing a film on Berlusconi." " I even voted for him!" " And you admit it?" "Beat it!" "Clear the street!" "A man who gets rich overnight, who has three TV channels, who becomes Prime Minister due to debts and trials." "That's not a film, it's public knowledge." "Bruno, where do you fit in?" "It's a film I want to do, a film I believe in." "It's a film people have been waiting for." " People have been waiting for this?" " Yes." "It's a rather delicate topic for a novice." "Start with something more personal." "One feels this film is not born of urgent need." "Well, I feel it is urgent to make this film." "But it's too easy to make ideological films." "Ideological?" "You misunderstand." "Let's not be fixated on Berlusconi..." "That's obsession!" "And the film doesn't go into everything..." "Like the links between Berlusconi, Dell'Utri and the Mafia." "I don't understand, in what sense?" " Is that in the script?" " No." "So why talk about it!" "The Caiman is a broader movie, about power, about Italy." "And the Italy of the last 30 years, is Berlusconi." "Young people!" "So set in their opinions." "Maybe you'd like to see a second draft of the script?" "I can bring in an experienced screenwriter, perhaps someone of your choice... sorry, but we're not interested." "I really want to make this film." "It's crazy that in Italy no one's ever made a film on Berlusconi." "In America, about their President, they make political films, comedies, thrillers, love stories." "Here, they're scared to." "Lack of money is just an excuse." " Money doesn't count." " It does." "Believe me!" "I'd like a tub to take away, for the kids." "How far is your home?" "Ten or fifteen minutes away, I suppose." "Then, no!" "The ice-cream only lasts five minutes in the tub." "Any longer, it's ruined." "Then I'll take the tub, get in the car and drive like mad." "And if I happen to smash into a tree it means I didn't make it on time!" "Once it's out of the freezer, you have to eat it all or..." "The texture is modified." "I know, it's not good!" " Because our ice cream..." "...is different!" "I know it's different, but enough is enough!" "Why does everyone have it in for me today!" "You'll end up killing me!" "Hi Giacomo, how are you?" "I was reading Mickey Mouse." "Guess where Dad is." " In Bologna." " No, in La..." " In Lapland." " Lapland?" "A land of lakes and forests, where the sun never sets." " What does that mean?" " It never gets dark." " You never sleep?" " Yes, with a mask, like Zorro." " Good night, kiss Mum for me." " Yes, I will." " Really, you'll kiss her?" " Yes." " Yes." " Goodbye." "It's not enough... so, what do you say?" "Do you prefer state television?" "With two grey, identical channels and programmes which end at 11 pm?" "Fully dressed dancers..." "is that what you want?" "They tried to stop us, to take us off the air, but we prevented them." "And I haven't done this for myself, I have done it for you, because you had been waiting so long." "So, let us begin!" "You are obsessed with me, I fill your mind." "You think of nothing else." "I like to write ill of you." "And I'll carry on doing it, even though you've bought my newspaper." "I am a liberal publisher, you can write what you like." "But you're wrong." "Because people love me, I've answered a need." "These letters," "I get thousands daily, all from women." "They say that since I've given them morning TV too, their lives have changed." "The judiciary, with its corruption inquiries, has wiped out a whole political class." "You must take a stand against the self-promotion of the judges." "They want to change the history of this country." "That's not good." "Surveys show that if elections were to take place today, the Left would have a crushing majority." " The country cannot afford that." " The country, or this company?" "Next year, there will be a general election and our group wishes to be directly involved." "All must lend a hand, our TV channels, our stars, our papers." "Moderates today are mediocre figures, devoid of charisma." "The only solution is a new political force, headed by me." "You couldn't care less about moderates." "You're only doing this because you're 5,000 billion in debt and the judges are closing in on your foreign bank accounts." "You want to enter politics, because otherwise you'll go to jail." "Italy is the country I love." "Here are my roots, my hopes, my horizons." "Here I learnt, from my father and from life, my trade of entrepreneur." "Here I also learnt the passion for freedom." "I've chosen to enter the arena to look after the state, because I do not want to live in an illiberal country, governed by immature forces and by men bound to a politically and economically disastrous past." "So, what do we do?" "The situation is not good." "So I came to reassure you." "Listen, when I leave messages at the office, you never call back." "You're never at home..." "I'm preparing the film." "I've heard that for ten years." "The mortgage guarantee on the studios has lapsed." "We've helped you, but you don't meet your repayments." "They want to sell your studios and evict you." "I just need a little time, the film is shaping up." " The film about Columbus?" " No, another." "A winner." "I reread it last night, in one go." "In three months we're back on track and our problems are over." "I don't know what to say, it's out of my hands." "It seems all right to me." "There was one little mistake and we corrected it." " Is it ready?" " Not yet." "I'm going back there." "When you come in we'll tell them." "Why don't you start?" "I'll be right over." "Right, I'll begin and then we explain the situation, calmly and quietly." "Exactly, we'll start to speak and you'll see, the words will come." "They must know we're separating, but we still love each other and them." "Here goes." "It's fine, darling, not a single mistake." "Mum agrees." "It'll be fine for your teacher, too." "What if she finds a mistake and screams at me?" "Everything is perfect." "No, I want to check it again." "I bet I know more swear words than you." "Don't I know it!" "I'll say them all, starting with:" ""Go fu..."" "No!" "Boys, Dad has something important to tell you." "Your mum and I..." "Be right back." "I can't do it." "Can't we put it off?" " Andrea is so uptight..." " He always is with homework." "OK, let's just have dinner." "And then we'll see." "Come here." "Pyjamas on and into bed." "Who's staying?" "We want Dad to tell us a story." "OK, I'll stay." "Tonight, we'll both stay." "Mum and Dad have something very important to tell you." "What a pretty mum we have!" "Let's give her a kiss!" "Stop!" "Are you crazy?" "Stop, please!" "That's enough, into bed!" "Thanks a lot!" "I was saying..." "We have something important to tell you, haven't we?" "As of tomorrow," "Dad will live in another house, a house of his own." "So he'll no longer come every night." "Not like before." "Why are you going to live in another house?" "That way, Mum and I will argue less." "If we argue less, we'll love each other more and if we love each other more, we'll all be happier." "We will no longer sleep all together?" "Idiot, you don't get it!" "No, we'll no longer sleep all together." "But you'll have two houses, two bedrooms, other friends..." "Can we go on holidays together?" "We'll see about the holidays later." "I've drawn up a schedule, a budget..." "I've planned for eight weeks, but I'm not sure that's enough." "I've left a lot of blanks in the budget, there are things I need to know." "Like when we are due to start, so I can call people." ""The Neo-Communists want power without free elections," ""a sick habit that is part of their DNA."" "The DNA." "It's important to make this film!" "Let's launch a public appeal for funds." " I'll do it for free." " There's no need for that." "I've always paid people, not much, but..." " What were you asking?" " If you had seen the budget." "Why?" " What solid backing do you have?" " I'm waiting for answers." " Do the costumes go next door?" " No, not yet..." "And I need to know who's playing the lead." "Better ask Teresa." " We've decided to do this." " Fritz, my friend..." "Teresa wants to reconstruct this section of..." "Of the Parliament." "We need to call the set builders, and order..." "The materials." "So, what do we do?" "What do we do?" "You have to tell us." "What do we do?" "Let's begin." "She's free..." "No one can stop her... she has decided... to love me no more..." "I'd like you to play the lead." "Thank you!" "I caress her shadow... sorry, can't turn it down, I like it too much." "Thanks, but a film about Berlusconi, no, honestly!" "Everybody knows all there is to know about him." "From the TV?" "Those who want to, know." "Those who don't..." "There's nothing more to tell, everything's known!" "So we do nothing and then he wins again?" "He has already won." "Twenty, thirty years ago, with his TV channels, he changed our heads." "And I'm not convinced by the script..." " But you haven't read it!" " Well, it's as if I had." "Read it!" "But I already know what's in it." "It's what the left-wing audience would love to hear, you know." "Berlusconi who messes up his facelift, but not his hair transplant, what a laugh!" "But that's not my film." "I know, but everybody laughs, even if they shouldn't." "Anyway, I have another project..." "I'm writing... seems we were mistaken, Bruno." "Shall we go back to work?" "Now she's offended, quite a character..." " she's stubborn." " She's talented." "And a touch unpleasant." "That's why I like her." "But I'm writing a comedy movie that I'm really into." "A comedy I really like..." "A comedy?" "You think now's the time for a comedy?" "It's always the time for a comedy!" "And off they go..." "EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT" "Mr schultz, in Italy, a producer is making a film on the Nazi concentration camps." "I'll suggest you for the role of the Kapo." "She voted for him too." "You're perfect!" "As well as letting Mr schultz speak," "I request that you ask Mr Berlusconi to withdraw what he just said in the name of the values that all we Europeans share." "What I just said, I said with irony." "If you are incapable of understanding irony, then I'm sorry." "But I will not withdraw what was said in irony..." "He has a very personal notion of irony." "Abroad we're a laughing stock." "It's no longer just a conflict of interests." "Hello." "Yes?" "So what do I do?" "Of course I'm at the office." "But you said you were going." "Yes, I know..." "Don't bother, I'll take care of it." "Problems?" "I've got to pick up the little one." "There was a mix up." " A misunderstanding, it happens." " See?" "Abroad they cannot understand..." "how a guy like him has managed to paralyse Italy with his personal problems for twelve years." "For now, that's how it is." "See you tomorrow." "In Italy, the press, but especially the TV, which belong to my group and to my family, are among our severest critics." "And why?" "It seems you haven't been in Italy of late." "You have never been, and you've never switched on, never switched on, never switched on... an Italian TV set." "If that is the form of democracy that you intend to use to silence the President of the European Council, then... by all means come as tourists to Italy, but here, you seem mere tourists of democracy!" "Tourists of democracy!" "Reading it you might feel like adding things." "There's scope for building up this character, adapting it to yourself," " with new ideas..." " You hadn't thought of me?" "Bruno, was there another actor?" "No, she'd thought of no one else..." "If she had, I wouldn't be offended." "No, no one in particular." "But perhaps you can bring more humanity to it." "Yes, I like that." "I didn't want to recount the private life of the Caiman, but his public dimension, from the building of Milan2 to becoming Prime Minister." "So it's really Berlusconi, not just based on him!" "In broad outline..." "No, but Berlusconi is a key figure of our times!" "Like it or not, maybe the key figure." "It's a film about Italy..." "It's a nice idea, a nice challenge for an actor." "When Gian Maria..." "Volontè played Aldo Moro, he did a wonderful job." "And that other character..." "the oil guy..." "We need a return to this kind of cinema." "I agree." "Here's the script..." "I'll read it right away." "Now I'm curious." "And when..." "Teresa..." "As soon as I read it we can meet and talk..." "Just a second!" "We have to help this girl." "She's a fighter, but charming too, with good ideas." "You have..." "Honey, where did you get to?" "Where are you?" "What do you want to do?" "Want to come over?" "Listen, I'm here with friends." "So, take a taxi." "When you get into the taxi... remove your knickers, without the driver seeing you..." "Or rather, let him see you, just a little..." "No, hold on, I'm not sure." "Be right back." "Last time, it just didn't happen..." "I don't know why." "So, on the bedroom ceiling, I've had them fit this huge mirror..." "That's him:" "Free and easy." "Perfect for the role." "Almost sixty and not a wrinkle." "And what you were saying about him bringing more humanity to the character..." "That's important." "Is he watching?" "Say it!" "He really liked the project, he's almost agreed." "Just like that!" "What a wonderful project, a new film together!" "I knew you'd surprise me sooner or later!" "And here I am." "Brought your swimming trunks?" "And your wife, still as beautiful?" " More than ever." " She had talent too." "She says not." "She's still ashamed of that period." "Have you tried to make her change her mind?" "Of course I have!" "She's returned to her first love, music." "She sings in a choir, to have more time for the kids." "I'm sorry to hear that." "She was really talented!" "That's a shame." "Here you go." "For your children." "Thank you!" "You shouldn't have." "Come now, Bruno, we worked together for ten years." "When do we meet Pulici?" "I'm dying to meet him." "Always wanted to do a film with him." "Marco Pulici!" "Whenever you like, we'll arrange it." "When did we last see each other?" "Cataracts?" "I told you that title wouldn't work." "I re-edited the film, made a few cuts, retitled it All Aidra's Men and in Poland it was a hit." "I knew that film had something." "Why was it such a flop here?" "I was the only one not to lose money on that movie." "The idea of recounting your "little" Italy amuses me." "Keep it down, Jerzy!" "I find it really amusing." "You're so funny, so ridiculous!" "All you Italians talk about is TV and Berlusconi." "You are a people half way between horror and folklore." "Don't overdo it!" "You've grown used to your sleaze." "And each time we think you've touched the bottom, in fact you haven't." "You continue to dig." "You dig. and you slip ever deeper." "Ever further down... you scrape!" "So we're celebrating?" "Yes, Dad's starting a new film." " Well done Dad for making films!" " We can't celebrate without Mum." "She'll be home soon, from rehearsal." "No, she's eating out." "A man friend came to pick her up." " A girl friend." " A man." "She should be back about half ten?" "She didn't say." "She went out." "So what does the Caiman do with these accounts?" "He's cunning." "So as not to get found out, he covers his tracks abroad with what are called "offshore" companies." "They belong to nominees, people who say they are chairmen, administrators," "Who pretend the money is theirs, while it's really the Caiman's." "See how clever he is?" "That's enough, I want stories about Aidra." " Yes, Cataracts is better." " All right then." "Aidra's hair is black, as black as pitch." "Unrecognisable, she wants to make a fresh start..." "What are you doing here?" "Where's the baby-sitter?" "I sent her home, it's late." "Yes, it is." "You'd better go." "Where were you?" " At the theatre." " You didn't tell me." " They had tickets, so I went." " Who had tickets?" "Friends, our friends, you know them... so why don't they invite me anymore?" "Because they know we've split up." "Sure." "Giacomo, stop that!" "Here he is!" "Come on, Dad's here." "Dad!" "Just look at this mess." "Four flat tyres." "I'll call the garage." "One tyre, OK." "But all four, what a sick joke!" "Don't worry." " Hurry, we'll be late for school." " We already are." " Too late, the bell's rung." " Stop being smart, let's go!" "Where are you going?" "Rehearsals, I'm late." "I'll take you, I told Teresa I'd be late." " All you do is rehearse!" " We open in ten days." "Listen..." "Teresa, is she young?" "Yes, but don't worry." "Ours is purely a work relationship." "I'm not worried..." "I was just wondering if she's experienced." "No, but she's talented." "You must come and visit, the sets are wonderful." "Just when I felt all was going badly here I am doing a film about Berlusconi, with a famous actor, Marco Pulici." "I even have the money to make it!" "I'm really happy." "See how life is?" "A new project... a serious, important movie, on Berlusconi." "Well done!" " Have you had lawyers read the script?" " Not yet, but don't worry." " But I would like you to read it." " Sure, I will." "There's this tiny role..." " I've got to go." " It's important, wait." " I'd like you to do it." " Me?" " Please, don't start." " Why not?" "Yesterday I was talking to sturovski." "Remember him?" "He said, "Why did she give up?" "She was so talented!"" "Remember how he used to talk?" " Bruno, that chapter is closed." " Laura, I'm leaving." "Coming!" "Let's be serious here." "Things are better for you, aren't they?" "You need to organise yourself differently, for the kids." "They need to spend more time with you." "Where?" "I sleep at the office!" "Maybe it's time you got an apartment where the kids can bring their stuff." "I'm prepping the film, I don't have time and anyway, I don't agree." "I have an idea, to help you." "With my parents' help," "I could buy out your share of the apartment." "That way, you could buy a smaller one nearby." " To help me, you kick me out!" " It's not like that." "MILAN MUNICIPAL COURT" "The top managers in the group would come to my home in Arcore with their wives, for Christmas, and I would personally buy jewellery with an attention to detail worthy of my perfectionism." "Thus, to each lady, using the computer, over the years, I'd offer earrings, a bracelet, a necklace, a brooch." "And so as not to repeat myself" "I'd choose a piece of jewellery which would complete the whole, a jewellery set offered down the years." "It's a documentary, just to get an idea." "You have to build a character..." "Yes, but my Caiman has to be multifaceted, more nuanced." "Wait till you taste this cheese!" "I was saying to Teresa that the Caiman ought to be more nuanced." " Do you agree?" " No!" "Berlusconi is self-made, he's something new..." "New and totally negative!" "So, we have to work on every aspect of the character." "The hero must have appeal otherwise the audience..." "Help me, you're the producer!" "He can't be purely negative, people have to take to him." "Exactly." "When Gian Maria Volontè did Investigation Of A Citizen... the character was unpleasant, but also..." " Comical." " Hell, no!" "Light..." "Fascinating!" "That's it." "I understand but what matters is to tell what this man's done to our country." "What he's reduced your "little" Italy to." "Jerzy, enough of "little" Italy." "Here's to The Caiman." "What proof have you?" "What evidence?" "What testimony?" "None, except the wild imagination of judges who have invented this plot of persecution against me!" "We want an Italy which gives more scope to the private and less to the state." "An Italy with more private and less state." "Less state!" "Here are the buttons." "Each one corresponds to an MP, and hence a vote." "Red:" "Against." "Green:" "For." "White..." "Not bad, the choice of extras." "What do you reckon?" "Well, I don't just want a crowd around the Caiman," "I want real people, with real faces." "Yes, you've told me umpteen times, but we need to decide how many." " Bruno said nine hundred." " Did he?" "900 extras, 900 meals, 900 employer's contributions?" "900 extras, that's too many!" "900 extras..." "We don't have the money." " How would we manage them?" " 900 for the whole film." "It still means 100,000 euros." "These are the drawings for the house..." "For the Caiman's house." "I wanted something more showy, more tacky." "But it is showy!" "And anyhow, film tends..." " To amplify." " Right." "It's better to do less, but well." "We ought to halve everything." "Halve the sets, by grouping certain scenes." "Halve the schedule, the extras, the film stock..." "We don't have the money, Teresa, we should halve everything." "I've only directed two shorts of eight and eleven minutes each." "So?" "Maybe I'm not up to it." "Everyone asking me what to do..." " Are they being rude?" " No, maybe I'm not getting across." "I can't do it, I've never done it in my life!" "Well, you're doing it now!" "It's too tough for a first film." "I should've done something more personal." "But this is personal!" "Something I know better, something closer to home." "The set designer has another idea for the Caiman's house." "Later!" "Please don't panic, or I will too." "And no more about those shorts of yours, or else I'll watch them, hate them and drop you." "Now, back to work." "Go on." "By the way... on sunday, I'm having lunch at my parents' house in the country." "Maybe you'd like to come with your wife and kids... sunday?" "We'll see, that'd be nice, for them too." "Go on." "Listen, we have something new to propose..." "That was mine!" "Eat up!" "This is Dad's new house." "It looks nice from the outside." "Good evening." "The keys, please." "Good night." "Say good night." "4,567,226 euros for 554 screens..." "An average of 5,016 euros." "War Of The Worlds is doing better than Batman and star Wars III." "Sunday, we'll see War Of The Worlds." "No, Dad, enough scary films!" "And you always choose." "We choose together." "Giacomo, who chooses?" " You do." " Not true." "Besides, who said it was scary?" " My friends." " Your mum!" "And it's a film for grown-ups, they sex!" " They what?" " They sex." "In this film I don't think they really..." " Until when can I cuddle you?" " Ten years." " Ten more years..." " No, when we're ten, you stop." "What a shame!" "How did it go with the psychologist?" "Her dinosaurs are old and ugly, and she has hardly any Lego." "Why don't you reconsole with Mum?" ""Reconcile"!" ""Reconstyle"." " Learn the words!" " And you shut up!" "All right, time to sleep." "Who's better, Dida or Buffon?" "I don't know." "Who's the best goalie, Dida or Buffon?" "Depends on the day." " But for you, who's the best?" " Dida." "I think it's Buffon." "Good night." "Are you at home?" "The match?" "They called me at the last minute." "Three other kids were sick so they called me." "Yeah, I think so." "I've got to go now, I'll hand you over to Mum." "It's a really big pitch." "Massive." "Good bye." "Off you go." "Why didn't you call me?" "What does he mean a "big pitch"?" "That it's big, it's a big pitch." "Yes, I think he's a substitute." "Hold on..." "Are you substitutes?" "Substitutes?" "They don't know." " How many a side?" " Eight." "Eight." "What does that mean?" "Yes, it must be eight-a-side, there are eight of them." "There are goalposts all around." "Goalposts all around, I don't know which they'll choose." "No, not green, the pitch is brown, ugly... full of dust... like dirt, with stones in it." "Yes, it's..." "Yes." "No, I don't have the right shoes, I'm getting filthy!" "Ah, you mean Andrea!" "I don't know..." "Yes..." "I think so." "No, I'm not going to ask him." "I'd be ashamed, in front of his friends." "Coach!" "Does Andrea have the right shoes?" "Yes, he's fine." "I have to get off, I'm being whistled at!" "I'm going to change Margherita's nappy." "Hi." "We were expecting you with the boys." "They'd love it here." "Andrea had a match he couldn't miss." " I just found out." " What a pity." "Yes, an important match." " I'll change her." " It's his first time on a big pitch." "They're playing eight-a-side, it's usually five." "If you plough on a slope, the clods roll and damage the vines." "Depends on the slope, the earth..." "But olive trees, you only need to water them for the first two years." "Then, you have to weed the ground..." " What's up?" " Just checking the time." "Hoeing." "Hoeing." "That's the technical term." "Once we've harvested the olives... sorry, I have to make a call." "Andrea's match is over." "Ah, these matches!" "When we take them to the mill, I make sure that they press my olives immediately." "Otherwise the oil becomes too acidic." "Finished?" "So what was the final result?" "Two all." "Good!" "Were the goals his fault?" "And I check that... she's asleep." "Of course she is, you'd just been!" "What's the problem?" "I just went to check." "Your anxiety is making me anxious." "Easy, she just went to see if she was asleep." "I know she "just went to see if she was asleep"." "I never saw you get anxious over Margherita." "Are you reproaching me for not being up and down like you?" "Poor Luisa, she was just worried." "Yeah, she's a good mother, but I'm not!" "And you always take her side." "Poor Luisa." "Why do you do this?" "Sorry, something's up here..." "No, don't worry," "I'll call you back." "Everybody was in the know!" "Your brothers, your mum, your dad." " And all delighted!" " Hush, you'll wake her." "Why didn't you tell me?" "We eat and work together and you didn't tell me you live with a woman!" "Well, I've never met your wife, not even today." "She didn't come because of the match, which I missed to witness you two bickering!" ""I'm this kind of mother, and you're that."" ""My mum takes your side, but your mum doesn't take mine."" "I don't even know if my son's improved." "My wife knows nothing about football!" "Thank goodness." "Teresa, suppose I was falling in love with you..." "What an arsehole I would have looked!" " You're in love with her?" " I said, "suppose"." " Careful, I'm the jealous type!" " Stop being smart!" "So this baby, how did you have it?" "We went to Holland and..." "Don't tell me!" "I don't want to know!" "Lt'd only upset me." "And I don't think I'd understand." "You'd explain and I wouldn't understand." "So let's just drop it." "This is where they'll put the Caiman when he dies." " He dies at the end?" " No, he doesn't." "But as he's very rich, he had a tomb built exactly to his liking." "That way, when he dies, he'll be happy." " Well, Giacomo?" " I might like this film." "More than Cataracts?" "That's going too far." "Not more than Cataracts." " Hey, Bruno." " Hi, Marco." "Hello." "I asked you to come early as I'd like a word with you." " Sure." " Everything all right?" "Sure." "The sets are wonderful!" " Family keeping well?" " Fine." "How many kids do you have?" "Two. 9 and 7." "And how old are they?" " I just told you, 9 and 7." " Yes." "I have one just starting secondary school." "Puberty can be..." "We were young too, we know what it's like... so..." " Having problems?" " No, it's this job." "You see your kids for a week, and then not for a month." "We need to spend more time with them, as a family." "Children feel a father's presence, they need it." "Especially at that age." "It's... so, one has to make choices..." "We have to..." "We have to be men!" "Sure, but I don't see what you're getting at." "I'm sorry about the film, for Teresa." "I mean, she's got talent." "She's a good director." " And you sure know how to choose." " Yes, she has talent, and so?" "Well, I'm taking a year..." "What's it called?" "A year when you do nothing..." "a sabbatical year." " When?" " Well, when..." "Know what my son said to me?" ""I switch on the TV in the hope of seeing you."" "That made me think." "I need to take a break." "Take a break after the film." "You made a commitment!" "I didn't sign." "And anyway, that's not the point." "You don't want to do Berlusconi?" "I've always been a fighter." "Allende, Vietnam, the Union struggles with Gian Maria..." "I want to take it easy." "What about the Pole?" " Sturovski?" " Yes." "Do you want me to talk to him or would you rather tell him?" "It might be best if you did." "You're really old school..." "You immediately sensed I was..." "Kiss me." "Take care." "Goodbye, Bruno." "You'll find a way." "Answering machine..." "But he'll turn up." "You know Marco." "Always working..." "from one set to another." "At the moment, he's mostly with his kids." "Do you realise how lucky you are!" "Pulici is like a stradivarius, the barest touch and he soars." "Let's not overplay the actor." "The film's more than him." "Like you said, "little" Italy..." "But it needs a solid actor!" "But imagine if he wasn't in it, the film would lose a lot, but it'd still have..." "It'd still have?" "The film would still have..." "It would still have the same punch." "I don't think so." "Without him, you wouldn't do it?" "No, I wouldn't." "You know how it is." "She's a novice, we need a famous actor..." "Why are we talking about this?" "What's going on?" "Teresa..." "Can I have a word?" "Be right back." "What's going on?" "Pulici's left the film so sturovski won't do it." "But why?" "He can't." "I did what I could." "But I've had enough." "I can't even go back to that table." " I've got to go." " Where?" "See that blonde over there?" "That's my wife." "We split up six months ago." "And that guy, I don't know him!" "Why did you do such a disgusting thing?" "What do you want from me?" "What have I done?" "You scare me!" "But you don't care how the kids feel to see their father in this shithole..." " That has nothing to do with it!" " Is that so!" "I bet it was you who punctured my tyres, you bastard!" "Are you crazy?" "And what if it was true?" "Who was that guy at the restaurant?" "Well?" "We've separated!" "We no longer live together!" "The children know, everyone knows!" "What do you want from me?" "Nothing, I just ruined a sweater." "I gave it to you." "It was beautiful." "What do you want?" "It was a nice gift." "That's why I ripped it up." "Goodbye, Paola." "What must I do?" "What must I do?" "Marisa, any messages?" "The bank is looking for you." "It's urgent." "They called three times." "Teresa was trying to get you too." "I have actors coming by." "Do I ask them to leave their photos?" "Yes, do that." "I also got a call from a festival, Cinema and Psychoanalysis." "They want a copy of Maciste Versus Freud." " Do I send them one?" " If you like." " Are you coming by this afternoon?" " No." "Pulici's left the film and sturovski pulled out." "We're no longer making it." "What?" " The whole thing's off." " You must make the film!" "We have to make it!" "What will happen otherwise?" "A flat yellow!" "Why can't I find... that tiny piece?" "What did I do to you?" "What did I ever do to you?" "Time for a camomile." "Good evening." "Natives in position!" "Gather around Columbus!" "Without shoes, please." " Listen..." " Yes." "We are going to do a dolly shot, but tracking very, very slowly." "Make sure they know." "So, listen to me." "This is the triumph of Columbus." "No one believed in him." "Are you listening?" "But after seven months at sea, suffering..." " Ah, I didn't know." " Seven months!" "...the world is grateful." "Thanks to you it has grown." "So, smile." "Where?" "Sorry, I said smile." "That's it, great!" "No, the director was talking about Columbus' smile." " What about the Dominican?" " Take him out of shot." "We head over to Torvaianica... all together, all right, and have a nice pizza." "Hey, savages!" "What's that pizzeria called?" "Uncle scrooge's." "Uncle scrooge's at Torvaianica." "I heard you!" "Knock it off!" "Honestly!" "No, nothing..." "I've told you before." "An actor has to concentrate before playing a scene!" "Darling, two more takes and we're done." " Action!" " It's off." "Majesty, the joy of seeing you again is as boundless as the ocean I have just... crossed." "Sorry, let's do it again." "We'll do it again straight away." "That's it." "Good." "...spouse Bonomo, born in Rome... domiciled in Rome." "The parties, whose identities the notary hereby certifies, have agreed to the following..." " Everything all right?" " Of course." " Are you sure?" " Yes." "This is an important step." "We know." ""Bruno Bonomo sells, cedes and transfers his due rights" ""to half of the whole to Paola Zamorani, holder of the remaining rights," ""who thus becomes the sole owner..."" " Over here!" " Come on." "Good!" "On the forehead!" "Come on!" "Done?" "The front part now." "Done." "Your turn now." "This one?" "Here you go." "Here we are." "Go back in, let's close it." "Help!" "Don't panic!" "That's the wardrobe truck, where the costume designer works." "And that's the truck with all the electrical equipment." "And you're the one who pays all these people?" "How do you do it?" "Dad only has enough money to tell one day in the life of the Caiman." " Which one?" " The last day of his trial." "It's dragged on for ages, but today he'll be declared guilty or innocent." " Bruno, almost ready." " Come on, we are ready." "What if it costs too much and you don't have the money?" "Don't worry about that." "And if the film doesn't work?" "If it works, it works." "If it doesn't..." "You'll never make another film." "Giacomo!" "Paolo, in position, please!" "Bodyguards!" "Come on." "Paolo, please." "Hurry up." "Bodyguards, into cars, please!" "Quick." " Are we ready, Leo?" " Yes." "Maurizio, this way." "Ready to shoot!" " Two?" " Well..." " Are you ready?" " Yes, sure." "Everyone in position, please." "Off you go." "Camera." "Rolling!" "Action." "A bit louder." "Action!" "I wish to remind this court that today I speak to you not simply as one accused, but also, and above all, as a citizen, to whom the majority of Italians has entrusted the onus and responsibility to govern." "Because you do govern this country the Italians have the right to know if you..." "You are attacking me as Prime Minister, and as a magistrate you cannot do that." "If you wish to engage in politics, resign and get elected!" "When I had cancer, the Left gave me six months to live, a year at the most." "Because they thought they could beat me in the elections, only with the help of cancer or the judiciary." "The anomaly is not me, it is the Communists, and their hatred for me." "Their political use of justice, that is the Italian anomaly." "We cannot continue to waste public money on a trial based solely on lies." "I am the only one to have governed a complete term and I've made more reforms in five years than the Left made in fifty." "It was not in government, but it was in power." "In the schools, the universities, the tribunals, the newspapers, the television, the judiciary and the Constitutional Court." "Your administrator admitted to the existence of slush funds on your group's foreign bank accounts." "Do you refute such a serious charge?" "I invoke my right to silence." "How sad they are, the Left." "They are sad and they make people sad." "But I wanted to give hope to this country." "Alas, half of the Italian people can no longer even hope, as all they can do is hate." "That's all the Left can do:" "Hate me." "You allocated large sums of money to regularly pay magistrates to accomplish acts contrary to their duty." "Were they on your payroll like employees?" " Don't answer that." " Sorry, I must go." "I've been reminded that I am late." "The Greek President is expecting me for a key institutional meeting." "I had hoped that this time..." "I belong to a troika..." " Leave, don't answer!" " I'm going." "A troika which heads the Council of Europe." "The accused continues to evade this trial." "Yet here, I read:" ""All citizens are equal before the law."" "But this citizen is perhaps a bit more equal than others, as the majority of Italians..." "Yes, I'm leaving." "The majority of Italians, via free elections, gave him a mandate to govern!" "My allies were nobodies." "They were Fascists." "I put them in government, I made them ministers." "They were Christian Democrats, beating their breasts." "I reassured them." "Then, those from the Northern League..." "All of Europe was telling me:" ""Careful, they are racists."" "I got them to see reason, I put them in government, even though they insulted me and called me a Mafioso." "I put them all in government." "All of them." "Yet today, not one of them has called me." "Five years have passed since the first preliminary hearing." "The accused has consistently evaded this trial." "He did not attend when summoned to do so." "He has done his utmost to pass laws aimed at hindering this trial's conclusion." "What's been at stake in this trial, is the very possibility of holding it, so that the judiciary might fulfil its functions in the service of the state." "Your Honour, one last thing before the court retires." "I hope you are aware that with your verdict you may change the history of our country." "Prime Minister..." " Prime Minister." " What is it?" "The court called, they are ready." "We're ready too, let's go." "Prime Minister, what verdict do you predict?" "What can you tell us?" "...does sentence him to seven years' imprisonment, interdiction from public office, and suspension of civic rights for the term of the sentence." "The accused is also ordered to pay all legal costs." "The grounds for the decision shall be lodged within sixty days." "The hearing is closed." "In a liberal democracy, the judges apply the law." "They do not put up resistance, resistance, resistance to him chosen by the electors to govern." "In a liberal democracy, he who governs may be judged only by his peers, namely, those elected by the people." "Yet the caste of judges wishes to have the power to decide in the electors' stead." "And I feel the moment has come to stop them." "Thank you." "Prime Minister, will you resign?" "With my conviction, our democracy has become a regime." "A regime which all free men like you have the right to resist using every means." "Thank you."