"I'm wayne malloy." "My family and iare travelers." "Our kind has been livingin this country for 150 years." "We're not listedin the phonebook, we don't havesocial security numbers." "We live off the grid." "Some call us gypsies,others call us thieves, most though,don't even know we exist." "I've got three kids,a boy,a girl, and,uh...um... my wife dahliais just out of jail,on parole." "We took her hometo the traveler camp." "The familygave her a warm welcome." "I,on the other hand,gota different type of welcome." "I am the new boss.He is the old boss." "Get over it." "Sometimes,it takes a beating to make you realizeit's time to move on." "So where are we gonna go?" "Life's a river,kid." "You gotta gowhere it takes you." "So,with a loanfrom the family bank," "I packed up the rv and went out in searchof something better, something we couldall be proud of, something with a bit more substance." "Look,dale and ihad a disagreement." "It wasn't that long before the familytried to stop us." "You're in the wrong lane,asshole!" " Mick,look out!" " Shit!" "Stop!" "Oh,my god,no!" "Unfortunately, they stoppedsomeone else instead, and then they ran." "Knowing that we couldn'tgo back to our old home, we decided to visit their new home, edenfalls,as the riches." "Now,who buys a houseon the internet?" "Come andmeet our new neighbors." "Doug,meet hugh panetta,biggest assholeeast of the mississippi." "You flatter me,jim." " You're sleepingout here,huh?" " Yeah." "You people wannawake up with no soul," "I'm proud to say my familyis finally on the grid and surrounded by substance." "I've takenmany things in my life, but I'm on my way to taking somethingI never thought possible." "The american dream-- we're gonna steal it." "What are you doing?" "Practicing." "Practicing what?" "Being her." "Why don't you come practice being her with me?" "You wanna do it like a buffer,wayne?" "Oh,you knowhow buffers do it?" "How?" "Once a year in a cave, standing uplike polar bears." " Like polar bears?" " Yeah,that's it." "I think they fake it." " What,the polar bears?" " A lot." "Oh!" "Oh,fake it,wayne." "Oh,fake it like a buffer." "Oh,wayne!" "Wayne!" "Oh,god damn it,wayne!" "Oh!" " It's me." " Where are you?" "I can't say." "Far." "You didn'teven say goodbye." "I couldn'T." "When am I evergonna see you again?" "I don't know." "I don't even knowwhat we're doing here." "I miss you." "Tammy?" "Shit,ma's comin'." "I gotta go." "I love you." "Oh." "Man's gettin'calls in the middleof the night,baby.Can't be a good thing." "Maybe it's ed mcmahon." "Maybe doug'salready a winner." "Don't be stupid,ed mcmahon don't call.He'd come to the house." "Promise meyou won't answer this." " Baby,I-- - promise me." "All right,all right." "Ow." "We can do this." "People do itall the time." "Oh,they do?" "They moveinto dead people's houses, steal all their stuff,and pretend to be them?" "Baby,this--all thisis manifest destiny." "It's meant to be." "You're my queen,baby." "But,wayne... what if I like it?" "Nothing wrongwith liking it." "When I was a girl," "I always wantedto go to a prom." "Wear one of thembig, old fancy dresses." "Have some of those-- what you call 'em?" "Shoes?" "You asshole." "No,them flower things." "Think of the lifewe can have." "Think of the kids." " It's not real,wayne." " We can make it real." "I'm gonna go checkon the kids." "Okay." "Three,four,five,six,seven,eight." "Okay." "All right." "The Riches Season 1 Episode 02" "Where do you think it all goes?" "You know,I don't know,sam, but it sure does make a lot of noise gettin' there." "Stop it,sam." "This guy's got crap taste in music, but he's got cool shit." "Hey,listen to this," ""when you follow your bliss," ""doors will appear where there would not have been doors before and where there wouldn't be for anyone else' does that mean?" "I think it's what we're doing here." "What?" "Bliss?" " What's bliss?" " Bliss is passion." "If you live your life with passion," " fortune follows you." " Yeah,works real well" " if it's in a house behind a big-ass gate." " Maybe." "Maybe we're following our bliss." "Okay,listen up,team, we got a lot to do today." " Sajak!" " Shit,dad!" "All right,split up." "Hey,no, you guys stay together." "Hey,no,no.Steash. Stop." "The riches are law-abiding citizens." "Everyone stay where you are." "I'll handle this." "Hide." "Good morning,officer." "What can I do for you?" "Mr. Rich?" "Mr. Douglas rich?" "Is there a problem?" "Oh,that dependson what you call a problem." "I noticedyou don't have a system." "A system?" "An alarm system?" "Officer lloyd shrage, spartan security." "I like to welcome you and congratulate you on movin' to the safest community in louisiana." "Uh,thank you very much,officer." "I am so glad to,uh..." "to hear that." "My family is very precious to me." "At spartan,we provide for all of our residents' security needs:" "Alarm systems, 24-hour patrol dispatch, and armed patrol." " Oh,well armed?" " You bet." " We all carry assault weapons." "No shit." "When you all get settled in,then you give us a call," " 'cause you can't be too careful these days." " No,I noticed that." "So,yeah,I will do this, officer shrage." "Excellent." "Armed weapons,keep 'em locked and loaded." "Good." "Easy peasy japanesey." "Hello?" "You peoplehave got to relax." "Buffers arenot afraid of cops." "Cops are our friends." "What if thathad been a cop?" "What if that had been someonecoming to find them?" "Do you know what happensif they find us?" "Do you knowwhat happens to me?" "I go back to prison." "You go to prison.Kids go to foster homes." "You want that?" "We'll run if we have to." "Somehow,you're gonna haveto trust me." "Oh,I heard that before." "Okay." "So listen up,troops." "We're gonna dig into these buffers' livesuntil it bleeds." "I wanna knowabout their friends, their families,their jobs,their hat size." "Cal,getinto those gadgets,please." "Just get those messages,read those e-mails." "Will you do that?" "Thank you very much.Very kind." "Didi,grab that biglaundry basket full of mail and pull out any pre-approvedcredit card applications." " Dougy's gonna needsome new credit cards." " Okay." " Um..." " what can I do,dad?" "Sammy,I want you to getmy bag o' tricks and make us outsome new I.D.S,okay?" "Okay." "Baby,if you could getdoug's calendar,hers,too." "Just find outany relatives,friends, things about that and stuff... sex slaves,whatever." "Anybody who does good work gets to shove somethingdown the sink the sink." " Try "rich" with two rs." " Already did.No go." "Honestly,who spends $450on one pair of shoes?" " Try reallyrich guys." " And she buys threeor four at a time." "I know,and every oneof them butt ugly." " Seriously." " No taste." " Try "rich dead guy."" " Surprisingly,no." "What date is it today?" "It's the 23rd." "Okay." "Well,yesterday was apparentlyhis secretary's birthday." "Are you--yes!" "Well,hi there." "Is thisthe javitz hair salon?" "No?" "You're a law firm?" "Okay." "I have the wrong number." "Silly me." "Bye." "Got it." "Doug is a republican.His best friend is pete." "Pete's a mortgage brokerfrom dallas." "He's e-mailed twiceabout a golf trip, and doug is waiting for "big mama's house ii"on netflix." "Damn,I'm good." "Well done." "Okay,e-mailhim straight back." "Uh,tell him you got a contagious disease,an illness." " Mono." " Chlamydia." " From a female." " Okay,mono." "Mono." "And sign itthe way doug would." ""Weasel."" "Would I make that up?" "Shit." "Damn it." "Where you going,tammy?" "What the hell?" " Get out the way." " No." "Move your ass." "I know what you're up to." "I'm going with you." "The hell you are." "I'm not happy,dale." "You promiseda marriage for ken." "What do you think I am doing,ginny dannegan?" " You're following tammy sims.I know about her and cal." " Oh,yeah?" " I know everything." " You don't know shit." "I know wayne malloystole the family bank." "I know that you are up to your eyeballsin shit if you don't getthat money back." "I know none of this is helpingyour position here." "I know all that." "Get out." "No." "Get out of my truck!" "No!" "Aah!" "Let..." "Let go of me.Let go of me." "You soy excuse for a man." "I am pregnant,asshole." " Easy,dale." " You okay,ginny?" "Mind your own business." "Oh,god damn it." "I lost her." "That's real nice,hittin' a pregnant woman." " What did you say to me?" " Nothin'...dickhead." "You son of a bitch." "God!" "Broke my leg!" "Pussy." "Oh." "Oh,damn." "Doug richwas a litigator, a securities lawyer,whatever that is." "Cherienwas his dental hygienist." "They fell in loveduring a gum scraping" " and were marriedtwo years ago." " In tampa." "Took a long honeymoonaround the world, kept a blog of their trip." "Doug doesn't seemto have too many friends, except that guy pete, who gave the toast on his wedding video," " so pete could be trouble." " Cherien?" "Cherien's dad is dead and her ma'sin a nursing home in biloxi." "Okay,apart from pete 256 00:15:37,176 -- 00:15:39,209 not gonna have much troublefrom family or friends." "So,it looks like doug and cherien's monthly expensesare about $7,500 a month." "We gotta findabout eight grand a month for this new life," " and by "we," I mean you." " Thank you." "Well,I mean,yeah,if we don't want the credit collectorson our asses." "Judging from his tax returns, dougwas raking in the kush." "Doug had to be planningon makin' a living here,yeah?" "Well,it's funnyyou should mention that because... dougy was lookingfor work as a lawyer," " and you've gota lunch interview today." " Huh?" "Let me look at that." "Hi,doug rich." "Yeah,doug rich." "Hey,how you doin'?" "Doug rich" "Hi,I'm doug." "I'm doug." "I'm doug." "Hi,doug,doug rich." "Doug rich." "You like that?" "Hello." "Didi." "You're looking good,dad." "You're looking good." " You're reallygonna do this?" " It's not likeI'm gonna get the job." "I just gotta turn up." "If doug doesn't turn up someone's gonna wonder why, and we don'twant that,do we?" "Why don't youjust call in sick?" "Too late.It wouldn't look right." "You don't know the first thingabout the law." "Well,I talked my way outof that nashville thing." " The judge was drunk." " Bullshit is bullshit." "Oh,I know bullshit,wayne." "And right now,you are full of it." "You just wanna play." "You just wanna seeif you can get this job." "Why don't youjust let me do my thing?" "You just sit thereand look pretty." "Don't break any laws,don't break any windows, don't break anything." "Come on,cal." "You son of a bitch!" "You,get out." "Go on." "Just like your dad." "Don't you smile at me!" "Asshole." "Break anything.I'll break your ass." "One pill." "Well,that ain't gonna do it." "God damn it,didi!" "Damn it!" "Put the cookie down." "Put it down,half pint." "Put the cookie down!" " But I want one." " Put the cookie down." "You're gonna have to makeyour own." "Hi,nina.I made you some cookies." "Give me some drugs?" "Hi,nina." "I made you some cookies." "You got any moreof them little pills?" "Hi,nina.You got any drugs?" "Shit,shit,shit." "Well,hey there,dahlia." "Hi,nina." "I made you some cookies." "To thank you for my handand everything." "Well,thanks,hon." " So you wanna come in?" " Uh,yeah." "I saw your two girls out ridingtheir bikes today." "My girls?" "Uh,didi,and the--and the little one?" "Oh,sam." "She's cute,real cute." "Yeah,she is." "Real cute." "What schoolyou got them in?" "Oh,we haven't decided yet." " So,nina..." " hmm?" "Oh,nina, you know these little pills you gave me yesterday?" "I was just wondering,like, if you just had like a few more?" "I gave you five,hon." "That's enough to lastyou four more days." "I know, but would you believe I dropped them allin the toilet?" "Darlin',maybe you needto ask yourself why you need themin the first place." "On second thought, it's reallynone of my business." "But what I can do is give you the nameof a nice doctor in town." "Dr. Salhanny?" "He's a sensitive man who understandsthe sometimes... distressing natureof modern life." "How long will you be needinga rental car,mr." "Pratt?" "A couple of weeks.My 740's in the shop." "Chip heretook it out for a drive, got it side-swiped." "It was some dickwad in the corvette,chuck." "So chip won't be drivingfor a while." "Well,chuck, it wasn't exactlymy fault,now,was it?" "Troy,could you tell chipto tell that to allstate?" "Well,geez,if you're usedto drivin' a 740, you'll probably be interestedin renting a car from our prestige collection" "Jaguar,rover... mercedes." "Sure,we can--we can pick you up." "Yes,we would." "Come on,mom!" "I'm comin'!" "You're so slow." " Somebody's tired." " Hurry up!" "Ohh!" " Come on." " I'm gonna snag my pantyhoseon the bike chain." "Who the hell wearspantyhose?" "Stuck in buffer ville,circa 1954." " Oh,man." " Come on." "Wait up!" "Didi?" "Just stop!" "Hey!" "Stop!" "Hey!" "Stop!" "The rv!" "Stop it!" "Aw,shit." "I knewwe shouldn't have parked there." "That's right.Y'all are tresspasin'." "Hi,there." "You're on my land." " Keep tellin' my husbandwe need a fence." " So what?" "You just had it towed?" "How'd ya'llget in the front gate?" " We live here." " Yeah,in that really big house" " just right over there." " I've never seen you before." "So,you knoweveryone then?" "Well,as a matter fact,I do." "I'm hartley underwood,president of e-ha, the edenfallshomeowners association." " Great." " And who are you?" "I'm cherien rich." "This is didi,this is sam." "My husbandis doug rich." "He's a securities lawyer.He's a republican." "The riches." "I was toldthere wouldn't be children." "Yeah,condoms ain'twhat they used to be." "Huh." "Well,it was real niceto meet you,charlene." "Oh,and by the way,we are not zoned for boat or rv parking'here in edenfalls." "I guess you're gonna haveto make other arrangements." "It's cherien,you stupid ludney bitch." "What aboutmy colored pencils?" "Hey,we're gonna get 'em back,all right,honey?" "Don't worry about it,I promise." "Oh,my god." "Oh,my god!" "What is wrong with her now?" "Come on,mom." "Okay,eight from the door here." "One,two,three,four,five,six,seven,eight." "Which tree was it?" "Oh,god." "Oh,man." " Hey,mom." " Yeah?" "What are you doing?" "Nothin'." "One,two,three,four,five,six,seven,eight." "Okay,let's go." "$235?" "175 for the towing,plus $60 for the ticket." "Well,all right." "This has just beena big,old stupid mistake." "Plus,I'm gonna need to see a valid driver's licenseand proof of ownership." "Proof of ownership?" "Well,we just moved here, so I don't know where my husband keepsall the documents." " So if you'd just-- - that's not my problem." "NO ID?" "No proof of Ownership?" "NO VEHICLE!" "For all I know,you could've stole it." " May shit rain downon these honest buffer ways." " Yeah,I told you." "We gotta gowith a different plan." "You game?" "Sure." "Let's get samhis colored pencils back." "Hey,wait up.Hold on." "I know your boy dale has been a great disappointmentto you,earl." "Well,he's disappointedme,too,earl." "Earl!" " Huh?" " Hi." "Tea?" "Now,us dannegans 433 00:27:12,160 -- 00:27:14,060 we've been wanting a relationshipwith you malloys ever sincethat didi was young 'un." "I even offered wayne $50,000to take ken on." "But it just don't look likethat's gonna happen." "Dale just ain't strong enoughto be the boss." "I mean,he isn'T.You know that." "And whatI've been noticin' is that a lot of folkaround here, well,they respect kena whole lot." "So,with your blessing" "Hey,ginny-gin." "Nice of youto visit daddy," " but he is a little tied - get your hands of me" "No one talks to daddyunless I say." "No one." "Get the hell away from me.I'm done with you." "I wouldn't go talking upthat dumb-ass brother of yours." "Something bad might happento him and you." "Real bad." "And no onewill give a shit." "Don't mess with me.I know things." "How do people go about their dayin shoes like these?" "I got things to do." "I can't do shiting these shoes." "Take my purse." "Take it." "I like the shoes." " You can keep 'em." " Really?" "Hold on,hold on,hold on." "You know,I wasn't even parkedthere that long." "Oh,so you thinkit was towed,huh?" "Yeah." "Yeah,towed." "I guess that's probablywhy I'm here." "You know,I had this-- this scale modelof ancient rome in my trunk, and if I--if I don't find it,I am really so dead." "It's really my last chanceto get a "C."" "I made these little emperorsand gladiators and vestal virgins and stuff." "I mean,I really workedmy ass off." "What kind of carwas it again,hon?" "Um a brown corolla." "Do you thinky'all could help?" " Sure.Let's go look for it." " Thank you so much." "Oh." "Oh,my god.That's it." "That'smy car right there.That one." "Oh,I'm pretty surethat's not it,hon." "That's a malibu." "Oh,wow.They look extremely similar." " Well,that's a malibu." " Okay." "All right." "Well,maybewe'll just keep looking then?" " Well,yeah." " Okay." "Hey!" "Hey,what the hell?" "Hey,stop!" "Stop,you!" " What do you wanna do?" " Do it,mom." " You got it." " Stop!" "Stop right there!" "That girl." "Mom,why did we park here?" " It's a free country,ain't it?" " You heard her.We're not supposed to." "Oh,ask me if I care." "You know, roy lidgecould not find a single good wordto say about you,doug." "Well,roy lidgecould not find a single good wordto say about gandhi." "Actually he wentcompletely nuts when he heardyou were coming in." "Ah,well,that's roy.What a nut." "I understand lidgeis an animal." "Yeah,he is." "Every day,we'd rattlehis cage,toss him a steak." "Why are you interestedin hayden,javitz,doug?" "Well,I know you're a bunchof tough sons of bitches who don't stop until you bring an opponentto their knees." "But I also know you wonthe client choice award, which means that... this means, no matter how hardyou screw 'em, they still love youin the morning." "And I want in on that." "A lot of lawyersdo,doug." "What makes youright for us?" "Napoleon used to say," "I know he's a brilliant general,but is he lucky?" "He used to say it in french." "But I'm the lucky guy." "Je suis lucky." "I'm like a racehorse.That's better." "Like,uh,sea biscuit,the sea biscuit of the non-sea biscuit world,you know?" "I just work very hard." "At kerriman,fox,I billed more hoursin a month than most guys doin a year,in 10 years." "Well,a yearis more realistic." "I just worklike an idiot." "I just don't have any life outside the firm,that's all." "I'm like an animal, like a nocturnal animal,like an owl." "Or like one of those,you know,thing." "I'm like tiger, a saber-tooth tigerat night,you know?" "A big nighttime tiger, that's me." "You know?" "Bob," "I didn't cometo louisiana for the etouffee." "I sure as hell hope you didn't come herefor these bubbas." "How you doing,doug?" "Good to see you." "Bob." "Hey,tommy,how you hittin' 'em?" "Better,hugh." " You know panetta?" " No." "Oh,yeah." "Yeah." "Well,just enough to kick his asson the golf course." "Good." "Panetta is a scumbag, biggest thiefin the real estate biz." "Can't tell you how many lawsuitswe filed against that prick." "Yeah?" "How many you won?" "See,the thingabout guys like panetta is he's got weaknesses,which can be found if you knowwhat you're looking for." "You've got to beat himat his own game." "I already have." "Hi,didi.Is your momma home?" "'Cause I'd like-- hey,mom." "Well,hi,ms." "Hartley." "Who the helldo you think you are?" "Excuse me?" "I told you not to parkthat shit-heap on my land." "Well,I didn'T." "Well,these two tires are nine incheson my property." "Oh,honey, you wouldn'tknow nine inches if it jumped in your bedand smacked you upside the head." "Oh,don't youtalk trash to me." "I will have that thing towed to the junkyardthis time." "You touch my rv,I will kill you." "Really?" "Well,maybe I should callthe police right now." " you can callgoddamn jesus christ!" " Oh,don't you takethe lord's name in vain!" "Don't you mess with me,you stuck-up little bitch." "It willnot end pretty--oh!" "You only got one arm." "You're crazy." "You just madea big mistake,charlene." "Thank you." "You just beat upa one-armed woman." "Well,how was I supposedto know?" "I ain't never" "I ain't never seenanything like that before." ""The issuer of any securityupon which a restriction" ""or transfer has been imposed pursuant to section 260.102.34" ""shall cause a copyof this section to be deliveredto each issuee."" "Have you any ideawhat that shit means?" " No,sir,I'm sorry.I have no idea." " Bobby,bobby,bobby, just call me,wayne,or call me doug." "Wayneis my middle name." " Okay,doug." "Yeah." "Who am I kiddin'?" "Oh,no,this won't do." "Man should neverdrink alone." "What happenedto your friends?" "Well,you know,hugh, places to go,people to sue." "Oh,I could've used you out thereon that course today,doug." "Got my ass kicked." "Happens tothe best of us,hugh." "You're not payin'for this shit,are you?" "I haven't yet." "Let me buy youa real drink." "Come on." "Hugh's tab." "Mom's crazy." "Yeah." "I guess we'restayin' here,huh?" "I guess so." "Pool's cool." "Yeah." "I guess we're gonna be sleepin'in the house now." "We never hada pool before." "Limbaugh,you freakin' drug addict!" "Ah!" "I tried everything." "Vitamins." "I tried lipitor." "I tried aromatherapy." "I triedjumpin' off a cliff." "I tried strapping'electric wiresto my 'nads." "Nothin' worked." "My numbers were just-- blood pressure numbers,shit." "Flyin' off the charts." "The only thing that worksis right here." "Isn't that jim,my neighbor?" "Sure is." "Neighbors,friends,employees,people I know." "Shit,some of 'emare even people I like." "See this?" "This is modeled on hermann goering'ssummer place." "Yeah,I noticed you hadthe same patio furniture." "Yeah.You should see the bunker." "Hey,doug,here, wanna try the next one?" "Sure." "Not bad." "Nice grouping'." "You're a shooter,aren't you,doug?" "I've shot a fewin my time,hugh." "A few what?" "A few trespassers,hostile witnesses." "So what were you doin' with thosehayden,javitz pricks?" "Just listeningto what they have to say,hugh." "Miss schleewee,fourth grade." "I loved her." "If you ask me, I wouldn't work atany one of those joints." "Too many assholes observing' you,watchin' you." "Can't even take a dump without everyoneknowing about it." "They've all tried to get a piece of meat one point or another." "I shoved those lawsuitsright back up their asses." "Can't touch this." "They're amateurs." "Ever done in-house?" "In-house." " As in "in-house counsel"?" " It's a lot more interesting." "Lot less bullshit." "No." "I think I've decidedto retire,hugh." "Get an rvand travel the country." "Since when?" "Since now." "It feels good,don't it?" "Who is that,dershowitz?" "Come here,you little scum." "How doesit stay there?" "It's 'cause your noseis bigger,you weirdo." "Yeah?" "Oh,you'rejust in time." "You cooked." "I did." "Right here?" "Maybe we should say grace." "Okay." "Bless us,o lord,and these,thy gifts, for which we are about to receivethrough christ our lord,amen." "Amen." "So,dad,how'd it go?" "Well,the good newsis I got the job." "You did?" "Well,what's the bad news?" "The bad newsis I got the job," " and I don't know shitabout the law." " Dad,there are so many bookson law upstairs." "I can help you brush upif you need help." "That's very sweet,baby,but I-- you gotta know somethingbefore you can brush it up." "You talked your way throughthe nashville thing,dad." "You're fine." "That was a misdemeanor." "I can't con my wayinto a court of law." "A court of law isa court of goddamn law." "Who am I kidding?" "I--I--I don't even know what a securitieslitigator is." "So what are you gonna do?" "Don't know." "I'll think of something." "Yeah,you always do." "Least we got the money." "For now,we can use thatto pay the bills." "Oh,god damn it!" "This is useless,wayne." "We arenever gonna find it!" "Tell me once again, which treedid you think it was?" "I don't know." "I wasn't thinking straight." "Yeah,you know what,ma?" "I wonder why." " Would youshut your mouth?" " Why don'tyou shut your mouth?" "Damn it!" "This is 40 grand!" "We can't goback home now,ma!" "That is not home!" "This is the only homewe got now." "We could paintdriveways again." "We don't have to live in some big-ass houselike that,dad." "What are wedoin' here,wayne?" "We don't have any money." "You ain't nevergonna be a lawyer." "We're travelers,baby.We're thieves." " We gotta stick with our own kind." " We are with our own kind." "That's why we'regonna stay right here-- together,us." "I'm gonna get usail the life we deserve, whether we want it or not." "where are you going?" "To war." "Doug." "Hugh." "It's almost midnight,doug." "Are you the ghostof christmas past?" "Yes,I am." "Nice gun." "Thank you." "Why are youin my house,doug?" "Why are you here?" "Why am I talkingto you?" "We're discussingmy package,hugh." "Your what?" "My compensation packagefor my services." "As what,my pool boy?" "As your in-house counsel." "I didn'toffer you a job." "I think you did." "Is that right?" "I'm worth 150 millionon paper,doug." "I run panco," "I run techcurrents,I run a lot of things." "Not bad for a guy who used to cleanseptic tanks,huh?" "So,you want a shotto be my in-house counsel." "You gotta be the best 'cause I wipe my ass with those hayden,javitz pricks, you understand?" "So are you the best,doug,or you just... middlin'?" "What do you think?" "I tell you what I think." "I think you'rean asshole,hugh." "You really are." "And your numbers,they're not that high." "Your blood pressure,it's normal." "I think you simply like to shoot your friendsand neighbors in the face." "Put down my gun." "Now,I know this because I used my powersof deduction." "I assess and deduce." "That's whata good lawyer does,hugh." "He assesses and deduces." "A good lawyer makesyou believe the truth." "Holy shit." "And,hugh,you knowwhat a great lawyer does?" "Doug...whoa." "A great lawyermakes you believe the lie." "Oh,shit." " You crazy bastard." " Thank you." "You'rea sick mother,doug." "Yes." "Yes,I am." "And I likethat in a liar." "Baby,don't splash mommy." "Baby,you really gonnaget paid $200,000 a year?" "$200,000." "With benefits!" " What?" " I gotta pee." " Oh,my god." " I gotta pee." "You can't peeing the pool,dad." "We're buffers now." "If we don't swiming the toilet, y'all can't pissing the pool." "I am a shark.I got $200,000." "Don't pee in the pool!" "Doug,I know you're there." "Say something." "Don't you hang upon me,doug." "Doug?" "Doug."