"previously on "weeds"... there are many safe andethnically diverse neiborhoods in pittsburgh,pennsylvania." "Shane,who are you talking to?" "Dad." "I need to rentyour empty house." "We need a grow house." "Can you deal with that?" "Hello -- eve meriweather,education coordinator, absolute truthministries campus." "The wrath of doug." "It's comin'." "What kind of man tears a crossoff the roof of a church?" "An impressive one,I'm guessing." "That'sa big fucking cross." "I read an articlein the paper about this cross of theirsthat got stolen." "I thinkI just found it." "You got a call." "From who?" "Roy till." "He's with the D.E.A." "I have questions." "You do?" "I don't think our businessarrangement's gonna work out." "And why's that?" "My customers don't seemto like your product." "That's a shame." "Three guys on motorcyclespulled me out of the car." "They saidthey're coming after you." "They're coming afterall of us." "So, what do you wantfrom me?" "What kind of protection wouldI get for half of everything?" "Anyone fucks with you,they fuck with me." "When they go down,they go down hard." "Fine." "The fire startedin their grow field." "Someone torched it." "You wouldn't happen to knowanything about that, would you?" "Weeds Season03 Episode15 good morning." "After a long night battling darkness, treacherous conditions, and high walls of flame, firefighters still do not have this searing blaze under control." "The west end of the charter school is gone." "We're trying to save the worship hall now, but we're just not equipped." "Oy vey." "Almost 300 acres and several homes have burned, and with santa ana winds blowing strong and tinder-dry conditions, this fire shows no signs of weakness." "They say arson is a sexual crime." "Couldn't you have just rubbed one out?" "You did this?" "Of course not." "You took care of the bikers, didn't you?" "There are tinder-dry conditions out there, warm temperatures, low rainfall, high-density housing in a natural habitat, santa ana winds." "Not my fault." "You're a gangster." "Shut up." "Well, I'm proud of you." " Don't be." " Don't be." "Well, what's our next move?" " Pitts-- - don't even fucking say pittsburgh, okay?" "We've had enough of that shit." "Just deal like the rest of us." " Pittsburgh." " Dipshit." "Dad!" "Okay, enough, everybody." "Time to pack up." "We're leaving." "Take only what's really important, okay?" "Everybody go." "Firefighters continue to lose ground in majestic despite the efforts of several local agencies." "We take you there live for an update." "Everything we couldn't get into the van we wrapped in trash bags, which we sunk to the bottom of the pool, because we figure the pool can't burn, right?" "Now we're just praying that water doesn't get into the bags and destroy the bowflex." "I am sorry to interrupt." "We have just received word that the evacuation of lower majestic is now mandatory." "I repeat -- there is now a mandatory call for evacuation in lower majestic." "Firefighters are going door to door, telling people to get out immediately as this insatiable conflagration continues to rage." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Firemen hello?" "You're blocking my driveway." "I can't pull my car out." "We can't move the truck, ma'am." "We asked for a voluntary evacuation of this area." "The evacuation order is now mandatory." "Ah, well, how am i supposed to evacuate with your truck parked in front of my fucking driveway?" "Well, there are shuttle buses running to the evacuation center every two blocks, ma'am." "I just finished loading up the car." "Come on, it'll take you two seconds, and I'll be on my merry way." " Please?" " Got it?" "Oh, you spiteful, fucking piece of shit." "What if this was your house, hmm?" "And all of your things?" "I live in a shitty apartment, and my ex-wife has all the good stuff, so I probably wouldn't give a shit, ma'am." "But you're welcome that I'm risking my life and lungs trying to save your home, your hybrid, and all your crap." "You know what?" "Fair enough." "You know, I don't need any of this." " I'm going to the shuttle!" " Good for you." "Here's my phone number." "Call me... a few drinks." "Some angry sex." "Here I go." "Okay, we need to be leaving." "I smell smoke." "Damn, heylia, you get nervous around the barbecue." "Just let me pack a few more plants." "Look, we've done most of what we can do." "House burns down,we start again." "House still standing, we goback to work in a few days." "Oh, no." "I'm getting too oldfor this shit -- growing hereand running there." "Fuck it." "I'm going legit." "Now, what the fuckare you talking about?" "I'm opening up a club." "Heylia'scompassionate care." "What?" "I stillgot my connections." "You gonnabuy from me?" "So long as I don't haveto know where you growing it... and I don't have to seeyour fucking girlfriend." "She's notmy girlfriend." "Fine... your cock-charmingfuck buddy." "You know,I'm done fighting, 'cause I know you gonna dowhat you gonna do." "I'm simply askingthat you keep it out my face, and I hope for your sake,she make a decent turkey, 'cause she ain't comingto my house for thanksgiving." "Now, look at that timing." "There you go." "Residents in northern majestic have been ordered to evacuate, and voluntary evacuations are in effect for lower majestic and the area formerly known as agrestic township." "All evacuees are welcome here to the summer canyon recreation center." "Dan, back to youin the studio." "All right,that's it, guys." "Let's get backas soon as we can." "Careful." "Careful!" "This is my dad,not a washing machine." "I'm fine, honey." "No, you're not." "You were banging aroundin there like a pinball." "And were you tryingto hit every pothole, or do you justsuck at your job?" "It's beena long night." "She's tired, cranky." "Dad, you need to stopbeing such a pussy." "I'm not alwaysgonna be around." "Here we go." "I'm ready." "What's that?" "My turtles." "You have turtles?" "Franco and warhol." "How longhave you had turtles?" "I won them last yearat a carnival." "Turtles." "How did I not knowyou had turtles... for a year?" "No, honey." "No waffle maker." "We don't need it." "Homeowner's insurance policy,deed to the house, birth certificates." "Daddy'searthquake box." "He reminded me about itthis morning." "Well, tell him thanks." "He doesn't want toleave the house, mom." "Good thing he can't catch fire." "But we can, so we got to go." "Does he understand that?" "I'm not leavingif he's not leaving." "Shane... this has gonefar enough, really." "I'm not leaving." "Judah?" "Liste" "judah, listen to me." "No, it's my turn to talk." "Can I talk, please?" "Thank you." "Kindly tell our sonthat he needs to leave because his safetyis more important than hanging out with youin this prefab shitbox you loved so well." "You bothneed to let it go." "No, my hair's the same." "Okay, I stoppedstraightening it." "All right,are you gonna tell him?" "Fine." "Shane, your fatherwants you to go." "I'll startloading the car." "The evacuation center -- captive audience.High anxiety level." "Where there's smoke,there's smoke." "We need to stop off and get myseedlings at the grow house." "No." "I'm not leavingwithout my work." "Fine,I'll go and get it." "You guys, take the vanand go to the rec center." "I'll meet you there." "Start loading." "Did you knowshane had turtles?" "Franco and warhol." "Right." "Go." "Live at the scene here." "Mandatory evacuations of areas of majestic..." "Look at that!" "It's rightbehind the golf course." "Okay, team,we're in a giant roomful of unhappy peoplewith lots of cash." "So let's take their cashand make them happy, okay?" "On my count." "One, two, three." "Break!" "* Where there's fire,people like to smoke * * where there's fire,people like to toke * * oh, where there's fire,we can all get paid * * and if we're lucky,maybe we'll get laid *" "Your phone broken?" "Sorry about that." "I was trying to get as much outas I could before I lock up." "It's nuts out there." "Couldn't evendrive over here." "I had to park andsneak under the barricade." "Should you even be here?" "I was sent." "Got to rescuethe magical silas strain." "Plus, I hear there's a firebarreling towards this house." "I was wondering if there'sanything I could take with me." "Heylia took a bunch of it,but grab what you can." "And dole it outas slow as you can, because I think that'sgonna be it for a while." "Wildfire." "Guillermo fire." "No shit?" "I don't think he meantfor it to spread." "He was burning outthe bikers." "That's what happens when youmake a deal with the devil -- fire." "Fire." ""Fire on the mountain."" "The grateful dead." "Can you make a turkey?" "Can I make a turkey?" "Where did that come from?" "Just answer the question." "I can... buy a turkey." "Heylia makes, uh,these deep-fried turkeys." "Unbelievable." "Yeah." "Can't reallysee myself deep-frying." "I'm more of a bake-and-broilkind of girl." "******Think I could fit a turkeyin the microwave?" "You'd have to havea pretty big microwave." "Or a pretty small turkey." "Nancy... what are you gonna do?" "If it all burns down?" "Your house." "Your suburb." "Well..." "I guess..." "I guessI'd have to go." "Cookies!" "Would you liketo buy some cookies?" "Drink up." "So, what'sour next move, nance?" "I thoughtI'd get some cheese." "They're making fondueat cot 14." "No, not that." "The business,our friend mary jane." "Why don't we see how the firegoes, and then we can regroup?" "Well, don't forgetthat I am in the group when we regroup." "Fine." "If we regroup the group,you'll be in the group." "She's got a great ass,your mom." "Don't be gross." "I was just kidding." "Isabel... are you reallya lesbian?" "Do you really talkto your dead father?" "I gotta goto the bathroom." "Go." "Agrestic -- shit --majestic police!" "Hello!" "Anyone here?" "Holy shit." "Hello?" "Anyone here?" "Sorry, guys." "You reallygot to clear out now." "The fire's up the block,and it's moving fast." "Holy shit." "I think they shot "peckersof the caribbean" here." "Okay, the fire justtook out the olive garden." "Come on, guys,we really got to go." "Franco,like the spanish dictator?" "Franco,like franco harris, the steelers hall-of-famefootball player." "Honey, I know whereyou're going with this." "We are never going to move to pittsburgh." "Mommy hates the cold." "If you still feel this stronglyabout it in five years, you can applyto carnegie mellon." ""And he doth great wonders, so that he maketh firecome from heaven..."" "creepy." "What about tampa?" "Oh, I gotta go." ""And men were scorchedwith great heat, "" ""and blasphemed the name of god, which hath powerover these plagues."" "Amen!" "Stand up." "Raise your hands highand pray for him!" "* the jesus freaksare singing * * the jesus freaksare singing * * the jesus freaksare singing * * they're annoying,self-righteous, and lame *" "Everybody, come on.All together now." "So, it's not your house?" "No." "No." "That housebelongs to celia." "Celia hodes." "H-o-d-e-S." "Then why is it in the nameof a company that you own?" "Well, becausemy company bought it, and then I gave itto celia." "Now, why would you give thiscelia person a house, mr.Groff?" "Because she was my lover." "And it was good." "And she was getting a divorce,and she wanted a house." "But I couldn'tput it in her name because the divorcehadn't gone through yet." "The power of passionmakes you do crazy things, captain till, is it?" "Okay, so,you buy her a house, and I assume you're fucking herin said house, she of the magicalhouse-earning pussy." "Did you not noticethe many marijuana plants that were growingin her living room?" "Well, we broke upa few weeks ago, so she must have startedgrowing it right after that." "You know, it's funny." "I would have never pegged heras the drug-dealing type." "She's a verycomplicated woman." "Jesus, groff, if I let youstick your finger up my ass, can I get a porsche?" "May I go now,captain till?" "My work here's finished." "I'm due in colorado springsin three days, and it's time for meto hit the road." "Leave a numberwhere I can reach you." " Will do." " Go." "Hey, I just got a callfrom guillermo, and I needto go meet him." "No." "Nancy, no." "Just stay here." "Stay herewith me and the kids." "Get your toes done,sell some weed." "I hear there's fondueat cot 14." "It wasjust a cheese plate." "You need to stop hanging outwith bad people." "The manset a town on fire." "All the more reasonnot to piss him off." "We just need to talk,guillermo and me." "I'll be back soon." "Do you havesome sort of a plan?" "I'm working on it." "Work in progress." "I got to get going." "They found the cross!" "It's in a house in majestic." "We have to save it!" "Majestic's on fire." "Jesus will protect us." "Jesus will protect us!" "Jesus does not make youflame-retardant." "I have to go." "This was notwhat I had in mind." "Act of god, baby." "Fire's part of nature." "Act of stupidity." "Those are people's homes." "Fema's gonna set them upat the marriott." "They're gonna get room servicefor two months, premium cable." "And they'll come back, see it all built upbigger... brighter... and then god's gonnaburn it down again... 'cause they don't belong herein the first place." "And the whole thingstarts over." "It's the circle of life." "Hakuna matata." "My house is about toburn to the ground." "You got insurance?" "My weed is about to burn to the ground." "My customer base is about toburn to the ground." "For that,I don't have insurance." "Couldn't get themto offer me a drug-dealer,loss-of-product policy." "Then it's a sign." "A sign?" "That it's timeto move on, that you don'tbelong here." "This is not your home." "What happenedto the bikers?" "They moving on, too." "But I don't thinkyour paths are gonna cross." "What am I gonna do?" "You're white." "You're smart, pretty." "Yeah, I'll thinkof something, huh?" "Fuck you." "That's my entire life." "All that." "Your entire life." "Come on." "This is one tiny valley." "Over the hill, there'sanother one just like it." "Then another hilland another valley." "And it goes like that,just over and over, all the waysouth to mexico." "You're facing west." "See, I could use you." "You tell mewhich way is south." "You be my navigator." "Hand off the ass." "And thank youfor the muscle." "Sorry I can't pay you." "It's not my fault, is it?" "I bring a lot of motaacross the border." "Yeah." "I'm not selling for you." "I'm nobody's bitch anymore." "Nah, we'd take youoff the sales floor." "That's forthe little people." "Navigator." "I get stuckin traffic a lot." "Traffic?" "Which oneis your house?" "That one." "No, that one?" "I don't know." "It's over there somewhere." "Maybe the firewon't get there." "And you canstay here forever." "Gotta go." "* Well, this is justlike the superdome * * except no rapeor piles of human waste * * it's stillnot quite like home even though we got wi-fi,some cookies, toothpaste * * yeah, it's justlike the superdome *" "* 'cept everyone's whiteand middle-class * * we got someyoga people chanting * * there's lots of gatorade and toilet paperto wipe our ass * * this is just likethe superdo-oh-ome *" "Apparently, a religious group chanting" " "jesus will protect us"" " Check it out forced their way into the burning house in an attempt to rescue the majestic cross." "Now those members are being treated at a nearby hospital for minor burns and smoke inhalation." "Can you tell us why you ran into a burning house?" "The lord told us to go." "Okay, I'm over her." "Hodes?" "Celia hodes?" "If celia hodes is in the room, could you please raise your hand?" "Hodes?" "Celia hodes?" "I thinkthey're calling you." "Is there some kind of rafflethat I didn't get in on?" "I hate itwhen I miss out!" "I don't think so." "Well, raise your hand." "See what they want." "Here!" "She's right here!" " Celia hodes?" " Yeah?" "Nancy botwin." "Sorry, ma'am." "This whole area'sbeen evacuated." "I know." "I live here." "I evacuated." "It's just my houseis right there.Please?" "Ma'am, the fire's rippingthrough the canyon right behind your house." " It's not safe." " Look..." "My husband'sashes are in there." "Please, I forgotmy husband's ashes." "Let me go in there." "My house is right there." "I'm begging you." "Please." "You live right there?" "Yeah, that's my houseright there." "Two minutes." "I'm counting.Go." "Andy, get the kids ready to go." "I'm coming back." "It's time to hit the road." "No, now, andy!" "Do it!" "Well, then don't make me yell." "Okay." "See you soon." "Judah... if you're still here..." "I tried." "Hey... where are the ashes?" "I forgot that, uh,we buried him." "Thanks, though." "Gotta go." "Weeds Season03 Episode15"