"[Man on PA.] Your attention please." "Flight t-17 from Venice Italy now arriving at gate 34." "Please place all baggage at..." "[Man on PA continues.]" " Uh!" " Hah!" "[Groans]" "Hah!" "[Thud]" " I'll be back tommorow for a start." " Call first coz I might be sleeping with a complete stranger." "Chicken rice!" "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, you got it in there?" "Didn't you honey?" "You..." "[Sighs] I need a ride." "Get outta my way." "[Engine revs]" "Get in!" "[Car seat creaking] Try keeping on the road for a change." " Can't you get in any closer?" " I don't wanna scratch the paint." "What do you do there Tom Leezak?" " Just open the gate." " You are told not together anymore" " just open the gateYuan- okay." "[Car screeches to a halt]" "That one is heavy." " Get that junk wagon out of here]" " Run away princess." "Not one word." " Are Mom and Dad home?" " No, they're at the infesima ball." "Don't worry peewee, we'll get these Tom mess cleaned up." " It's alright - [Sobs]" "[Door bangs]" " Hi all - [Kyle snoring]" " Kyle - [Snoring continues]" "Okay." "I'm home so...you can leave whenever you want." "[Answering machine beeps] Hi, this is Tom and Sarah." "We can't come to the phone right now cos we're honeymooning in Europe" "[TOM]" "It's a large wedding gift so we won't call you back." "I'm serious." "Tom." "Kyle." "I got your message." "I'm sorry the honeymoon sucked." "Anyway, don't wake." "I'll set up largely in your place so when you get back, we'll do some bug-lysing therapy." "[PETER]" " Hi Sarah." "It's Peter." "I thought I might catch you in..." "And Tom if you're listening buddy, I feel your pain." "[Ringing] So where you been man?" "You're on in five." "I got walked over." "I got to clean my hand." "So, what happened?" "I had the perfect relationship that was ruined by nerds." "How're you so hurt?" "Well, we were perfect from the minute we met, right?" "Yeah, that." " It was nauseating" " Thank you." "Fred" "Move, toward the right!" "Move, toward the right!" "Come on Ven!" "Come on Ven!" " [Thud] Gasps" " Oh." "Sorry." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, yeah." "That's an honest." "[Jazz playing]" " cheers. sarah McNerny - cheers. tom leezak" " So what do you do when you're not Joe Montana?" " I work at K and R radio." "I work at K  R radio." "Your traffic information station." " So I here a real life radio hit?" " No." "Someday, I'll be that guy." "Sports, hopefully." "Right now, I just do only traffic report." "And the grego shaft." "Every other week." "When the full time guy s" " You're that Tom?" " Yeah, yeah." "You usually hear me on the air?" " I called in about a week ago... like 3 a.m., you said the past way was all clear so I took it... and I got behind the...jack night frigid for likd 3 hours" "Sarah, from beverly hills... who...called me err...blackhead." "And I got pretty heated." "Very heated." " So, 3 a.m. That's a little past your bedtime huh?" " How'd you know my bedtime?" " I was wrapping out an auction in the Gofried saduvidtz" " Beverly hills." "Saduvidtz." "Let me guess." " Macauly major stanford smarty pants in the front roll" " Al-hisory major lolly back roll." " Wow, back roll." "Wicked." "Me too." "Communication." "Weeback community college, you wanna hear the parts off?" " No, thank you." " Are you sure?" "I'm really good at it." " No, really." "Thank you" "[Chuckles] It's a good choice." "i'll find me chance. daughter of dan McNerny, patner of the lakersdodgers McNernys..." "I'll take that as a yes." " You ready to get your ass kicked Tom Leezak?" " You're dreaming wealsly." "Pretty confident there uh, fathead?" "[Dog barking]" "[Barking continues]" " Well, uh." " Yeah." "[Tom narrating] And that was it." "A month later we moved in together." "Why did we get married when we had loving each other completely naive?" " Hello, ten seconds?" " But why does anyone get married and doesn't make sense to be with one person for your entire life?" " People change." "They grow" " You're on Tom" "Maybe we'll still be together if I got the proposal right,..." " but now the proposal is critical and I blew it..." " Tom!" "This is Tom Leesak with KR traffic at two-o-six a.m...." "At this hour, there are approximately seven vehicles on all southland freeways... so If you feel like skateboarding down to four or five, she's wide open." "Stay tuned for another traffic update in ten minutes on KR, your traffic information station" "[Button clicks] And we're out" "Okay Tom, you got to focus." "Alright man?" "Forget about proposals." "Forget about marraige." "Alright?" "[Dog grunting]" " Thanks - [Grunting continues]" "You just grunt all the time." "You just like... a gullible pig with hair." "[Talking gibberish]" "Beck!" "Seriously I would..." "Beck!" "I'm warning you." "Ouch!" "Catch!" " [Dog whimpers] [Car screeches] [Thud]" "It wasn't like becks chase pipeons" "This pigeon was cruel." "I mean he was..." "The back seat just went for it." "It was taunting." "Then squacking" " Squacking?" "Squacking." "Well, at first, it was more like..." "kind of a purring...you know like the... and Becks was like calling its attention." "But then it turned into this:" "like thrill like..." "[Mimicks squacking]" "You're lying." "What?" "!" "You know that your nose always flares when you're lying." "Flare!" "Flare!" "Did I flare'em?" "I'm not lying." "Honey I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm just really overwhelmed." "Promise me we'll never lie to each other." "It's a promise." "I love you so much." "Listen." "Sarah." "I wanna marry you Tom Leezak." "I wanna marry you too." "[Man on radio intercom] When you bring that to front, park at service entrance." " open the gate Yuan - okay." " [Sarah giggling]" " Here you go." "Well, well, well." " Huh, what a suprise" " Wow." "Oh, welcome to the family Tom." " thank you. mrs McNerny - oh you can call me pussy now." "Thank you..." " pussy - well, wonderful, wonderful." "Yuan, serve everybody." "[Camera shutter clicks] Knock it off dickie!" "Peewee...my youngest daughter" "You little rebel" "And you, Tom Leezak." "You're a..." "Well, wonderful suprise thank you, Mr McNerny. i..." "I just hope that I can be... all that I can be... in this...family." "Well, I love Sarah." "It's all I need to know." "[Pussy sighs] Well, you really missed the bouldour in Sefrenis" " Yes I did Dan" " You bet your ass you did." "I should be courting Sarah instead of putting in nineteen hours a day to the office." "Anyway, congratulations to both of you." "Seriously, from...from my heart." "Thank you Peter." "You're a lucky man" " Yeah I know that." " Grab a food of bubbly and rice." "Everybody ready?" " Why is Peter ?" " ?" "Alright." "Health!" "Wealth!" "Happiness!" "[All in unison] Health!" "Wealth!" "Happiness!" "Alright Peewee, ten yards out" "Leezak, give me a five yard swing" "You got this man." "Don't worry about it" " We need to calm down." " I know." "Why're you...?" "Bad things happen to good people." " That's what I wanna know" " She's very affirmative" " He's a pollock." "He's a pollock" " Yeah, I know that." "I warned you." " Let's see what Leezak's bagging" " Ready?" "All right." "[Together] And three!" " On one." "Ready?" "[In unison] Three!" "You sure you ready for this?" "Down!" "Set!" "[Thud] Ooh!" "[Laughs] That went the hard way" " That was a dumb act." " Yeah!" " That's what I'm talking about" " What are you doing Willie?" " Hey, I slipped." "[Tom groans] I still get my black." "I'm good." "I'm okay." "Oh my Peewee." "Always moving so fast." "Oh, you moved in together after one month." "And together for nine months." "Now you're engaged" "Oh, I know you love him darling but... sometimes it takes more than love to sustain a marraige." "[Sighs] You need to be old enough to know what you want and who you are and..." " Who he is" " Oh Mama, I know he's wild, and spontaneous and hysterical and above all that... he's centred and he's down to earth." "He's everything I want." " We have this passion for each other - [Pussy giggles]" "Alright." "First thing tomorrow... we're gonna plan this wedding." "[Footsteps] [Door closes]" "[Door opens] Hey you." "I guess some people think I'm crazy for doing this." "Since when do we start caring about what other people think?" "Are you sure you don't wanna marry a guy like Peter?" "If I wanted to know what exactly my life will be from here on out..." "I will marry a guy like Peter." "But I love not knowing." "I wanna start the life with you [Knock on the door] Sarah?" "Hi Daddy." "Peewee," "Marraige is like a business investment." "It's..." "It's long time viability is best established unemotionally." "Bottow line Daddy, we love each other, is all that matters." "[Tom coughs]" " Leezak?" " Bye sir." "[Crowd cheering] Congratulations Mr Leezak" "Big Daddy Leezak in the house [Applause]" "Oh, I hope she doesn't spook on you man." "What d'you mean?" "I love Sarah, don't get me wrong but... rich chicks spook" "The powerful Dad plus family money plus expectations, expectations are like a fungoe wrath on a marraige." "Our marraige is not gonna have a fungoe wrath." "We're gonna be happily married everyday for the rest of our lives." "Unless she finds out that you slaughtered her dog [Racours laughter]" "Oh don't worry, I'll take that" "[Woman laughing]" "Okay" " If you change your mind at the alter, just pass out" " I'm not going to change my mind." "Okay I'm saying you do it?" "Hit the floor." "Thanks" "So, are you saying you're ready to give up your grazing right?" "I'm not grazer Kyle." "But what if you became one later in life?" "We..." "Over the next ten years, you're giving up five?" "So I'm gonna be happily married to Sarah or have fifty one-night stands." "Minimum" "Cos I have no choice." "Okay, okay let's move." "Are there any chicks you didn't have that you wished you had?" " You are like the wo rst bestman ever" "You are like the worst bestman ever" "[Kyle] Did she ever hook up with that yahoo?" "Heared they went backpacking in Europe once, then after high school I don't think anything really happened." "Whoa!" "You're getting married, and she didn't share the roster?" "She shared the roster." "Nerd and Ross" "What do I promise?" "And you never asked again?" "I wanted." "It's ?" "." "Oh." "Okay." " As long as you're okay with the bogus roster" " It's not a bogus roster" "Is he on or is he off?" " He's..." " Shut up" " Huh!" "Huh!" " Anika had Peter" " I did have Peter, he wasn't that hot okay?" "Excuse me." "I was in Seattle, opening up a new paybar... ran into Peter, we went out, I drink way too much." "And before I knew it we..." " tussled" " You bad girl." " I wanted to tell Tom so many times, but he gets too jealous, you know" " Listen, it doesn't matter that he doesn't know." " It's not like you guys were married and if you were" " No, no, no, it matters to me." "It's like living a lie." "I cannot live a lie." "There will always be this big, fat elephant in the room with us" "Listen baby, never tell him!" "It's time to go Sarah." "Come on" " Got everything?" "Got you" " Yeah." "Good." "How're you holding up?" "Pussy's a mess." "I'll just turn you in right now." "Be prepared" "[Here comes the bride playing]" "Wait" "[Thud] Oh." " Are you hurt?" " No" "[Racous laughter] Daddy got the big tree." " We're really married" " Yeah" " We're really, really married" " For ever, and ever" " Do you feel like it?" " I don't know" "Do you?" "Oh, I'm getting tired." "Me too." "Okay" "[Sarah sobbing] What's the matter?" "It's our wedding night and we don't wanna have sex." "No." "Oh, it's okay." "What's wrong?" "What's wrong?" "It's just that this is our wedding day and it's the biggest event I've dreamt about my whole life... and now it's over." "Did you have wedding fantasies when you were a little boy?" "Kind of." "Oh my God." "They're gonna know I'm not a virgin anymore." "Sarah?" " You've been a virgin since college" " I know." "I know by tomorrow, they're gonna know for sure that I'm not a virgin... and they're gonna know that you deflowered me." "Oh God, oh no!" "Deflowered?" "Oh Sarah." "Oh woah, woah, hey [Sobbing continues]" "I love you, okay?" "And we can have our entire lives... to have sex." "So it's okay if you don't do it tonight." " Now I kinda feel like it" " Yeah?" " Yeah" " Turning on everyone." "Oh, bloody nose, bloody nose." "Oh hello, hello, hello hello" "You're quite a gentleman." "And you're georgous." "Let's go sleep dear" " I love you" " I love you too." " Sweetié, our plane is in an hour - [Thud]" " Oh!" " Oh!" "Okay." "So that wasn't a smooth way to start a honeymoon but..." " tomorrow we'll be at the foot of the alps at the hotel Du'rev" " Yeah" " It's gonna be totally perfect." " It's gonna be totally perfect." "I can't wait until then" "[Woman speaking on PA]" "Great Cole." "[Door Opens] Holy birch!" " Is there a problem?" " [Together] No" " No problem." "We're just waiting." " Yeah" "[Giggles]" "[Door Opens] Mexican food" "Sweetié, where did that come from?" "[Breathing heavily] [Woman on PA]" "Okay, breath through your mouth, breath through your mouth" " No." " Do it." "[ Racous laughter ]" " What?" " My leg is stuck." " Okay wait." "Let me help you." " Yeah" "Okay." "One.." "Two.." "Three" "[Giggles and Laughter] [Knock on the door.]" " Return to your seats please" " Right out" "Okay wait, wait, wait." "Okay." "One.." "Two.." "Three" "Return to your seats now please" "[Banging on door]" "Playtime is over" "You get yourselves off the bathroom seat alright." "[Groaning]" "[Man speaking french]" "sorry" "[ Mimmicks screeching sound ]" " Bonjour" " How're you chief?" "Think you got room for Leezak?" "[Amidst laughter] Bonjour." "[Speaks french]" " You never told me you spoke french?" " ?" " Here we are." "For Mr and Ms Leezak." "Must be some mistake, uh?" " No." "No mistake." "Mr and Ms." "No, no mistake." "Mr and Mrs" "What's all here?" "This's supposed to be three days on." " So?" " So?" "You know if I dont have enough to do sports session work it disrupts my whole day starting with my morning talk." "Hey, there's gonna be sallay TV in the hotel" " [Giggles]" " Violá" "Huh." "Wonder what kind of wheels we got." "I'm telling you this is not specifically the car I ordered for" " This is a European car van" " No, this is a european wingling brother." "I don't drive in trucks bigger than this car" " I mean, I looked at the brochure and there...there was a fiesta on the cover, not a bingo" " Uh, baby a big car is gonna make you happy" " We could really use a bad car about now" " We could really use a bad car about now" " What was that?" " ?" "Thank you ma'am." "Are you mocking me?" " No baby." "Just floor it." " I am flooring it." "If I push any harder, ... my foot will blow through the floor and we'll be flintstones in our ass there" " Wow, wow, wow." "Turn here [Car screeches][Horn honking]" "If you had told me to turn maybe before we passed it, I wouldn't have had to pull such a nice car against a beaver" "I was busy looking at the maps, somebody has to navigate." "Listen to us." "We sound like an old married couple" "Never again" " Can't wait to get to that hotel" " That looks like a castle" " A castle?" " Not precisely, but it looks like one" "Okay." "[Laughing]" "That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" "Let's go" " Hey baby, it comes to seeing nuns." "Bonjour" " Bonjour" " Bonjour" " Bonjour" "[Together] Ah, bonjour, mérci" "[Together] Bonjour, Mérci" "Welcome to Hotel d'urev." "I am Orie Màku." "[Speaks french]" " Ouí" " Non" "So far young to have marraige." " No, marraige" " I almost forget" "Congratulations." "Have a wonderful honeymoon." "Love, Peter" "That's a platonic love" " Forget about Peter" " Huh" "Please enjoy" "Upstairs." "Bonsoir" " Bonjour" " Mérci" "Oh, tell me this isn't your fantasy" " This is my fantasy" " Good." "Cos we paying out the ass for it" "Hey, just for the record, when we talk about money, especially in reference to coming here it sort of kills the romantic moment" "Alright, sorry." "[Clears throat]" " Now fight your deep urge to be cheap and give the bell boy a large tip" " Alright" " Hey, you guys here provide satellite tv?" " [Man speaks french]" " There's no TV in this room?" "] - [Man speaks french]" "Ask him if they have ESPN?" "[Man continues speaking french]" "[Laughs] He said the TV is in the bar." "He also said that if you are here wit me, you wouldn't be concerned with TV" " He makes a point" " Yeah, better come on to bed" " It's not ?" " I told him I'll call him." "It'd take a minute" " Hey mum, it's peewee" " Oh, say hi to pussy for me" "Tom says hello." "Yeah." "Oh, it's so great," " Uhun" " To Tom and Sarah, an ends time honeymoon." "Love, Kyle" " I'll call you later Mom." "Bye." " Jezz." "Is that thing from Collin andrew?" " That sure doesn't have the 's' word." " I thought about that in college" " You didn't tell me about the hardware." " Getting the visual?" " We gotta thrash this thing." "[Giggles]" " Uhm." "That plug won't fit your pin outlet." " I'll make it fit." " Honey don't force it." "[ Clicks ]" " Hey [ Static sound ]" "[ Static continues ] [ Groans ]" " Are you okay?" " Oh." " Are you okay?" " Oh, Drew." "Jesus." " This thing doesn't happen usually [ Bell alarm sounds ]" " Oh God - [ Man speaking french ]" " C'mon!" "C-mon!" " Oh no." "[ Men laughing ]" " My grandparents installed the wiring in the hotel before world war first..." "It worked fine until you young kids had to bring in your toys and ignore the signs" "The..." "That is the...the..." "That's in french for God's sake" " That's because we are in France" " Is there anything we could do?" " Pay the damages" " Hold on there gosh." " You should not..." " Whatever." "But this hotel gets gas from all over the world." " It's your responsibility to put some American on your signs" " He means English" "Sarah?" "[ Mouthing words ]" " So I must make the hotel of my dreams like any other with a brighter red robes ...It wouldn't hurt" "[ Speaks french ]" " Cos I'm what?" "Stupid American pig." "Well, I guess that makes you a stupid french... frog [ Unri gasps ]" " Oh yeah." "I say it." "Frog" " You get out of my hotel tonight." "I wouldn't stay in this dump if you paid us." " Let's go to the Ho-jos honey" " There are no ho-jos here Tom." " Sarah." "Please" " There is a barn at the road and they have a nice pig sty for you" "Yeah." "Well maybe they'll have a nice little bulldozer and we then can finish this place off!" "Tough guy" " And then just get out of this place, tough guy!" " Yeah, yeah." "And we're keeping the champaignes and the gins jackstrap!" "Let's go honey." "What's wrong?" "Where are we gonna stay Tom?" "Don't worry. it's like a vacation zone." "We'll find a place." "Now get your shirts." "Let's go." " Where is the next place?" " The next place with no vacancy will be sludge throught the windowsall." "How far is it?" " More than 2400 hours" " In miles please." " Seven-four-point-four you multiply by point-six" " Huhn," " I'm learning so much" " Me too, me too." "[ Car door closes ][ Thunder rumbling ]" " Let me guess" "This is straight." "This is just what we need." " Do you want me to drive?" " Honey I can drive in the snow" "[ Truck horn blares ]" " [ Horn blaring continues ]" " Drive it straight jackass!" "[ Drew screams ]" "[ Drew sighs ]" "Great." "Now we get to freeze to death" "Look uh, we just...we'll sleep in here and we'll dig out in the morning" "I'm so glad we get to hear the phrase that we'll dig out on my honeymoon." "Yeah." "Why don't we just get it over with now, blame me?" "If you hadn't insulted Unri at the hotel, then we wouldn't be spending the evening in a snowball" " I'm sorry." "Next time I'm gonna be a little more refined like your friend Peter" " Goodnight Tom" " Goodnight Sarah [ Clicks switch ]" "You gonna hate me forever?" "I don't know" " Wanna get drunk and make out?" " Well, if that's not gonna get me drunk" " Well, we can make out" " Uhun." " Where d'you get to enjoy doing this?" " It's not the first starter" " Sammy, get this shit outta my ass - [ Sarah giggles ]" "Sarah." "It's morning" "[ Sarah gigling and laughing ]" " Oh my.." " Oh my God" " Let just stay here for the fancy trip" " Come with me." " Hey!" "Up here" " Hippie" "Hey!" " Hey, it works" "Okay we can still get the two-o-clock train back to Venedia straigh to Giana" "No." "Our reservation ends on Tuesday" " But it's just for a few extra days" " I just put an entire castle on my credit card." "We can't afford to stay at the Giana for a few extra days" " Then we'll call my Dad maybe he'll loan us the money" " No." "No." "There is no way of taking money from your Dad." " Pride is a crutch of the insecure" " You are not taking the money." "I am taking the money" "No." "We don't need to take the money." "This is about us now" "Listen." "My Dad told me about this nice little Pansione on..." "[ Driver speaks french ]" "Excuse me." "Can you just drive?" " Please." "Just let me call my Dad, please" " No!" "This is our honeymoon." "Not his" "So it's fine if we stay at some Pansione as your father opines" " No." "We're staying at the Pansione Forchelle..." "No." "We're staying at the Pansione Forchelle..." " ...and we're gonna have a hell of a good time" " I can't take this anymore" "Honeymoons are supposed to be all stripping, and room service and bath naked we haven't even bathed and no, no, no, what have we get?" "... ...we get evicted from a five star hotel and to put..." " ..." "I'm yelling at you, we're yelling at each other" " It's okay" "And we were really angry at each other." "I'm sorry, I wanna go home right now" " Maybe we should go home" " It's okay." "Stop" "I know this honeymoon hasn't been perfect, but I know this Pansione is going to be fine" "Look we'll check in, sleep late, eat pasta gaze out at the piasido something, something." "I'll make it happen" "[ Man speaking ] Pansione Forchelle" " Are you sure this is correct though?" " [ Man responds]" "How bad can it be?" " [ Baby crying ]" " Oh crap." "Hey, we're in this together." "Alright?" "Do you have four men staring at your boobies right now?" "[ Men talking ]" "No" "[ Woman farts ]" "[ Continues farting ] [ Both giggling ]" "[ Door creaks open ] [ Bell tolling in distance ]" " Yeah, this...you know." "We'll try it night and if we don't..." " Leave?" "...like it - we'll, you know, get somewhere nice tomorrow." "Gracias" " Gracias" "[ Door closes ] [ Both giggling ][ Bottle breaks ]" "I'm not gonna forget this honeymoon" "[ Crash ] [ Woman screams ]" "[ Man sighs ]" "Sorry" "Bonasire" "[ Couple moaning ][ Bed creaking ] [ Speaks french ]" "[ Bed creaking continues ]" "Cockroach!" "Cockroach!" "[ Leezak screams ]" "Okay, okay." "Let's get out of here please." "Get it out!" "Get it out [ Sarah screams ]" "Thanks for the help daddy" "I miss you okay, thanks." "Honey, he wants to talk to you." " Why just tell him thank you from all of us here at georgiana?" " hello there, mr McNerny - please bear in mind that our daughter loves him dan" "Listen Leezak." "Uhm, I don't expect a cracker like you to ever measure up to anything approaching what I will consider a good match for my daughter." "But however I do expect." "I expect you to pay me back in full just soon as that silly ass radio show of yours yield any kind of reasonable income." "Good bye cracker [ Dial tone ]" " Ass peg!" " What was that?" "He called me a cracker." "A cracker, honey." " He did not, uhum" " Well, that suprises you?" "I mean, you dad hates me [ mimmicks Dan McNerny ] well, wonderful, wonderful." "It's..." "He's got the whole family praying that this marraige fails" " That's not fair." "Mom never said a bad word about you" " Wao." "Pussy's never insulted me." "Now I feel loved." " Has your father never judged me?" " No, he hasn't." "Not once" " Maybe we should just have sex" " Call me crazy." "But I'm just not in the mood to make love" " Uhum" " Me neither." "But we haven't had sex since we're married" "...and there is something very, very wrong with that - [ Sarah laughs ]" "And I have to tell you..um..why are you la..." "It's not funny - [ Laughs ]Sorry" " I'm concerned" " I've gotta sleep." "Get a good rest" "Look, I'll see you tomorrow." "Be first in the morning." "Fine [ Clicks switch]" "And then we'll have sex" "* When I'm with you *" "* I see the world in a different look, It shines so bright*" "* When I'm close to you *" "* I see the way that you held me up, and move my heart *" "* You amaze me *" "* You lift me up to a higher place, Put a smile on *" "* There... *" "* You make me wanna be * * the people *" "* You make me wanna be *" "* Just like you *" " Imagine all the people right over there..." " * You make me wanna live... * ...on the cafetaria" "?" " dreaming of his next masterpiece - [ Giggles ]" "Those birds are psychotic" " It's just ?" ", that's it baby" " Huh." " Yeah." "It's us." "I was an artist in history major" " You don't have to be artist in history to appreciate art" " Wao, wao" " What?" " What?" " Did you hear that?" " The bell, no" " Uh." "What?" " What?" " That." "There." " Stop acting crazy" " It's a message from God" " It's a mes..." " God?" "!" "Jackpot!" "Honey, we still have to see the paintings" "Oh." "The..." "The church art is unbelievable but it all kind of looks the same to me" "Do you know I love sports?" "And I'm a sports freak" " But how often are we in here?" " How often are the Dodgers on TV in Europe?" "You're right." "You go watch sports." "I'll go watch the paintings" " Honey" " Yeah?" "Is...is this an act of generosity or..." " ...am I in the paper this later?" " It doesn't make a difference" "I'm gonna make this up to you huge." "Huge" "Tonight, everything is your choice." "Dinner, and the church if you want" " I'll meet you at the hotel" " Love you" "I love you" "Gracias!" "Gracias." "Goddammit!" "[ Man speaking french ] Oh, bonjour le Mr. Peter" " Bien." "Bien" " Peter" " Peewee, what a suprise" " What're you doing here?" " In Venice?" " Yes in venice." " well, there's a deal that me and your dad are working on, so they sent the kid in to close the deal" " Did you know about the deal?" " Yes, I..." "I thought you and dad thought it inappropriate" "I'm sorry." "I didn't uh..." "I'm just trying to pick the contract here" " Peter..." " We'd celebrate this great coincidence?" "We're in Venice" " I'll take you guys to dinner" " I'm on my honeymoon" " My...my honeymoon." "Yeah" " Right" "I can be so thick sometimes." "Gracias, I'm sorry." "I got a lot of work to do anyways. so I'm gonna disappear." "You guys have fun" "Oh Peter... ..." " I don't mean to be rude" " No, you can't be rude with your eye" "How's your honeymoon?" "Is it good?" "Is it your dream?" " It's great" " Yeah?" "Oh, yeah, great." " where's Tom?" "_ Oh, He's at the er...to the church with um...with" "..." "He's..." "He's a huge history buff." "Yeah" " Whao" " Was He." "I thought you guys showed up in there" " Oh, yeah." "Yeah" "Here." "I need to know where that little senor is at all times" " Very bold Mr Prentiss" " Gracias" "[ Leezak shouting ] Got this one honey." " I knew you're gonna make me pay for what I did" " No, no." "It's not that" "We need to talk" "On what?" " Have you always told me the truth?" " Yeah." "Except when I told you I liked your brother Willy" " This is serious" " I am serious." "I really don't like him" " Then let's build our on honesty and trust" " I totally agree" "Okay." "Then did you ever do something that you wanted to tell me about but you couldn't because you felt bad about it, and the more time it got harder for you to tell me and then it turned into this big, fat lie cos you kept not telling me about it..." " Is this after Kyle?" " No." "Why?" " There isn't" " Does Kyle know anything I should know?" " No" " You covered your nose" " I had a nitch" " You were hiding flared nostrils. what d'you have to tell?" "Okay." "It's just..." "When Byke started, he didn't exactly die, the way that I described it" " He didn't follow the squacky beech down the balcony?" " Got that" " What happened?" " Well, okay." "I'm reading my magazine, and I'm really..." "I'm focussed in it and I'm really in to it and aloe comes back and really tugging on my ankle and I was like dang, I'm..." "I'm..." "I think I even said I'm trying to focus like don't and he looked up to me and was like...giving me the..."you..you gonna play with me or not" and I was like I wanna read, and he's...he started pulling on my ankles again and... so.." "I grabbed the ball...and, I was like okay buddy and I and I threw the ball over my shoulder and was like it went it thru' the window...and he bounced over and he died" " You killed max?" " It was an accident" "And you lied about it all these time?" " Actually it was more of an omission" " No, it was more like a lie" " I'm...where are you going?" " I have to figure out what to do with this" " What's does that mean?" " I can deal with you being a shitty driver but I cannot, not deal with you being a liar" "Oh, wait." "Stop." " This all started with you wanting to talk about something" " Well I don't wanna talk about it right now" " See, you're feeling guilty about something too" " Yes." "There is something I omitted but I don't wanna talk about it right now" " You want a marriage based on trust and honesty?" "Well here is your chance." "C'mon." "Yeah, yeah, you got it." "I can see it" " Bring it" "I slept with Peter Pantes" "What?" " I slept with..." " I heared you" " I'm sorry" " I need to hear everything" " No, you don't" " Yes, I do" "That's what I do." "That's what I do." "I need to know everything." "Where you were." "What...what he did" "How small his winnie was." "Everything" " I was helping him on a ?" "in Seattle" " No." "I don't wanna hear it!" " You slept with th..." " It was a long time ago" "When?" " Before we..." " Got married?" " Yes" " Got engaged" " Of course" " Got together" "Yes." "No, no." " It was right after we met and my parents were pressuring me to..." "Ahah." "Imagine my suprise" "I was confused." "I'm in Seattle he asked to dinner and the champaigne's flowing..." " Please try not to break in the sore" "My feelings for you were very, very strong and I needed to know that they were real" " I wasn't brought up to manage feelings like that very well" " Yeah" "Yeah." "Real tough upbringing" " I need some air" " Yeah, yeah." "Me too." "Happy now." "You broke it." " [ Door bangs ]" " Oh, by the way Peter's staying at the hotel" "That's funny!" " Poker!" " Muderer!" "[ Car revs ]" "* [ AVRIL LAVINGNE PLAYING ] Everything's changing... * * when I turn around * * out of my control, I don't know 'bout *" "* Everything's changing... * * when I turn around *" " What's the score?" "Three-Two." "Half the time" " * out of my control, I don't know 'bout *" "Are you American?" "I guess" "[ Bell tolling in distance ] [ Footsteps approaching ]" "[ Sarah sighs ]" " Where's Tom?" " We don't feel the need to be with each other all the time" "Hey." "But you're spending so much time apart, on your honeymoon" "Are you okay?" "Peter, just go please" "Go!" "Sarah." "Sarah" " Why are you still here Peter?" " I'm not gonna leave you here like this" "Listen, I have a car and I'm gonna take a quick drink at a friend's house" "Just...take a ride with me." "You know, catch your breath." "I'll take you back to Tom" " Champaigne?" " Sure" "[ MAN ON TV] And that's the ball game [ CROWD CHEERING ]" " Oh my God!" "Oh God, look at that!" " No wait." "I really shouldn't go." "No I can't." "Listen" " Rono Saviato connects his traces back to Mackiavelli" " Huh" "Oh, Whao." "That's the big house" "Nack's trying making a buy of it." "Turning it into a resort complex" " Peter." "Hello" " Good to see you" " Hello." "What brings you to Venice?" " I'm on my honeymoon" " Your honeymoon?" " Yeah" " But you're still yet to be married" " Why does everyone keep on saying that?" " Where is your husband?" " Um..." "I'm going to meet up with him." "Yeah, later" " Yeah" " I was married for 27 years before my wife passed away." "Believe me, the first months are the most difficult" " Ah, He's a little bit of romantic" " Uhm" "[ Whispering ] I love that" "You're on the radio?" "That's awesome." "So, when are we gonna go back to the..." " Oh, yeah." "Can't do that" " ..."ni-ni-ni-ni"?" "What?" "!" "Don't tell me all the cute conversation and air humping is leading nowhere" "No, Oh." "You mean...when are we gonna..." ".." "Aaagrh." "Okay - [ Giggles ]" " Alright, I'm gonna hit...er...the...and we're gonna hit it big" " Okay" " Cool" " Okay" "I'll be waiting" "Whoa!" "[ Crashes ] All these just keep on coming" "Can I get the...er... key to three-o-nine please?" "Oh and...er...do you know if my wife's up in the room?" "A good husband knows where his wife is at all time" "And a good-natured "he" answers questions when he's asked" "Look, I'm not gonna pay you for an answer" "In this case you should" "Your wife is in a car on her way to saviotis with Mr Prentiss" "Mr Peter Prentiss?" "What's saviotis?" "One of the oldest and most beautiful estate in New Venice" " Maybe Mr Peter will buy it" " Of course, Mr Peter will buy it" "Okay." "Where is this place?" "Huhm, Okay you can go." "You will be shot on sight" "[ Groans ] When are they coming back?" "You watch for Mr Peters during the evenings" "Um, you know what?" "I'm not gonna be waiting here for her when she gets back." "Oh no!" "[ Sarah laughing ]" "Sarah, Sarah, Sarah." "Maybe we shouldn't waste the water." "Huh?" "I think we should go find Tom now" " That was the longest freaking fix in the Italian history" " Hey, Wendy." "Er..." "I couldn't find you in the crowd" "That's cool." "You ready though?" " Er...yeah." "Listen" " Why don't I walk you back to your hotel...drop you off?" " That sounds like fun" " Okay." "Um...what hotel are you staying at?" " What hotel are you staying at?" " Er..." "The Gianna" " Oh my God." "Me too." "Hey, Whao." " Oh my God." "This is like a twilight zone" " I couldn't agree with you more" "[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]" "We're here." "Damn." "I don't have my keys." "Can I use your phone?" " Make use of my phone?" " Yeah, to call downstairs...for my key" "Yeah." "Oh, oh, oh." "Slow down there" "Oh my...!" " God, Oh" " Insult me, radio man" " I..." "I'm on my honeymoon" " Ew." " Yeah, uh" " I'm telling you..." " Gracias" " Gracias" "What?" " What?" " I can't take this anymore" "I'm on my honeymoon" "Gosh" "Calm down." "You almost did the same thing with Wendy, you have no right to be angry" " You slut!" " 'Scuse me?" "You stuck your tongue down his throat." "I saw it at the window" " Did you see me slap him then?" " Oh, don't give me that" "Some part of you wants him." "Just say it" "Fine." "I'm not goona lie anymore" "Certain things will be easier given his background and a small part of me thought that I want him back once, a very small part." " Why would you invite him on our honeymoon?" " I didn't invite him." "I don't know how he found us" "Oh yeah, oh, maybe it was magic." "No!" "Peter must be a warlock" " That's yours" " Yeah sure." "When did I start using this type of panties?" "Okay." "I met a woman at a bar, nothing happened" "You picked up a total stranger at a bar brought her to our honeymoon suite and took off her disgusting red bra" " Nothing happened, I swear" " No, no, no." "The bra just turned off from bare-naked breasts" "You stand there and make me feel guilty for a kiss." "A kiss that I didn't even want in the first place" " Don't tell me you didn't want it." "You wanted it." "I could see it from the balcony that you wanted it - [ Thud!" "]" " I'm sorry." "Oh my God" " Son of a Biarch!" " Oh my scum is on fire!" " Oh, oh." " [ Knock on the door ]" " Okay." "Who is it?" "[ Knocking continues ] [ Leezak groans ]" " Go away!" " No, no." "I'm leaving." "Last chance." "Come with me to Seattle" "Hello Peter." "So glad you could join us" "Welcome...to the honeymoon from hell" " Shittio!" " What're you doing Tom?" "I think it's time for Peter and I to tango" " See, you have no business with this lunatic" " Shut up Peter." " Tom you are acting like a crazy person?" " Maybe cos I jst got hit'n the head by a 10-pound ashtray" "I gotta warn you Leezak" "I got a courting with a chinese drill master" "Yeah, well I hope he showed ya how to pull a fire poker outta your ass!" "Tom, put the poker down" "[ PETER ]:" "Call the police" "Move!" "Move!" "Move!" "You had her already." "You hurt us,... take our best." "You still have the nerve to show up on our honeymoon and try to have sex with my wife" " Come here coward." "Get away from my wife - [ Car siren wailing ]" " You know they were right" " Who?" "Everyone." "They said we were too young and that we needed to get to know each other better ...maybe they were right" "Maybe love isn't enough" "[ Officer speaking french ]" " What'd he say?" " Peter just bailed us out" " I'm going home" " Yeah." "Me too!" " [ Female voice over intercom ]" " Passport please" "Are you leaving with any fruit, vegetables or any currencies in excess of ten-thousand dollars?" "No." "But my husband do have two pounds of ash hidden in his rectum" " The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino - [ Sarah laughing ] ...and you're laughing?" "[ Sarah laughing ]" "'Scuse me stewardess. can I er...can I g...er...one of those...er... doughnuts?" "Yeah, right away" " I feel like we've been married for fifty years" " Oh, you should be so lucky" " Wanna tell me how Peter ended up in the same hotel?" " You wanna tell me what happened with the red bra?" "What, what?" "What are you looking at?" "I hope you used the rubber" "No, no." "I didn't." "It didn't get that far." "I hope you used one though" "Yeah that's funny." "Did you hear that?" "We got a comedian on the plane" " You're a laugher" " You wanna laugh, you want me to make you laugh?" "You think I'm really funny" " I'm gonna move out when we get home." "How about that?" " Yeah, that's great, that's great" "You know what?" "I'm done talking now" " Me too [ Applause ]" "[ LEEZAK NARRATING ]And that was it." "Game over" "[ Scooter revs ]" " She came back to your apartment" " Is she there now?" "No she left" " Did she say anything?" " She took all her stuff." "Can't be good" "Oh, and she left you this" "C'mon men. you're getting divorced." "Breakfast beer is a must" " I need to talk to my dad." "Give me a lift?" " Sure" "You're going to tell me what you're chewing on?" " I just don't know if love is enough anymore" " What d'you mean enough?" "I mean, even if Sarah and I do love each other, maybe we did need more time to get to know each other" "So, what you're saying in here is a couple of bad days in Europe and...it's over" "It's time to grow up Tommy" "Somedays your mother and I made love to each other." "Other days we had to work at it" "You never see the hard days in a photo album" "Those are the worlds that take you from one happy snapshot to the next" "I'm sorry your honeymoon stung, but that's why you got Delp." "Now you gotta work thru it" "Sarah doesn't need a man with a fat wallet to make her happy and so how you love this girl how you two made each other up she doesn't need any more security than that" "Thanks dad." "Is it over?" "Not even close" "You are allowed here no more" "What're you doing here Tom Leezak?" " Open the gate jack-in-the-box" " Me no jack-in-the-box." "You jack-in-the-box." "Go away now" " don't make me break my foot off in in your ass - alright. look Yuan, i just need to talk to her" "Relationship over." "She no like you anymore" " Open the goddam gate" " Shut up Kyle" " look Yuan, did she actually say those words to you?" " she say you have kinky with bimbo" "Look, we are not leaving this intercom until Sarah herself confirms that she is shitting Tom" " we're not..." " Yuan, get this straight. this's my wife. now open the gate" " Can't we even give the guy a chance to explain?" " Don't even think about it dickie" "Okay, this is the deal." "Either you're gonna open the gate or I'm gonna open the gate either way, I'm coming in" " We'll seek the hands on you Leezak" " Bring them on Willy!" "[ Breathing heavily ]" " You leave me with no choice." "I'm gonna have to ram the gate" " What's going on?" "Well then." "Show down with that" " What do we do now?" " Call the cops" " I am ramming the gate." "I don't know if you're hearing..." " We call SWAT team on your ass ...but I am going to ram your gate." " What is the commotion in here?" " Coming up the gate" "[ Car revs ]" "What the hell is this?" "It's go-time" "[ MAN ON TV ] Another report of a satellite picture" "That's one strong gate" "Tom" "listen." "Yuan, willy. who else is in the house listening to me." "You don't want me to be with Sarah and I can't change that" "I don't know where we're gonna be in 10, 20, 40 years" "I don't know who we're gonna be." "I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to give her all of these" "There are million things that I don't know" "But there is one thing that I do ...and that is I love Sarah and I am going to love her day in and day out for the rest of my life" "Now will you please...please ...open the gate so I can tell that to my wife" "I'm sorry man." "Sometimes when it's over, it's just over" "[ GATE OPENS ]" "KYLE:" "Drop the log on baby." "Yeah" "Daddy you get him." " I love him daddy" " Then go get him" " Hi" " Hi" " I miss you" " I miss you too" " I miss wrecking the airplane bathroom with you" " I miss sleeping with you inside a snowball" "I miss spending time in prison with you" "* Can you see *" "* There's a feeling that's come over me *" "* In my eyes *" "* You're the only one that makes me completely breathless *" "* It makes me wonder why *" "* Sometimes you get that thing you can't deny *" "* Set me free *" "Subtitles By FODAV MEDIA For FODAV INFINI CORP."