"KEVIN:" "The whole business, gone." "Thanks to your brother." "It was all over A Current Affair." "Did you see it?" "(Ah, no." "We don't... we don't get it over here, Dad.)" "Well, cameras were chasing him down the street while he was trying to be a smart arse." "(Actually, Dad, I'm just at work.)" "Why are you whispering?" "(I'm not whispering.)" "Are you still in the bin?" "(Dad, I've gotta go.)" "I've gotta go." "Can't you..." "Crystal!" "Piss off!" "Sean..." "There he is!" "Hey, Dad." "Wow." "Look at you." "Yeah, started to look after myself ." "Yeah, I can tell." "Come on." "30 years building a company, three months for your brother to run it into the ground." "Your mother and I should never have taken that holiday." "Where's the car?" "Didn't drive." "What, so we're going to walk home?" "And then I hit the sewerage line." "That's put us back a couple of months." "How much further do you think it is, Dad?" "Hmm?" "How much further?" "Ahh..." "Maybe we should have taken that last right." "(He's asleep.) (Oh, great." "Thanks.)" "(We should probably get going.) (OK.)" "(It was great to finally meet him.) (Yeah.)" "MAKEPEACE: (Glad you could pop by.) (See you.)" "Call off the search party!" "Shhh!" "(Baby cries)" "Hi." "Hey, Dan, welcome back, man." "Hey, mate." "Merry Christmas." "You, too." "Wow, you guys look, ah..." "Where are you..." "Oh, we've got this, um, party." "I know this jeweller in the city." "It's sort of this big networking thing for people in the fashion biz." "Wow, that's exciting." "Um, going as friends." "Dan!" "I'll see you later..." "Joseph." "Jesus." "Jesus?" "He's a baby in the nativity scenes, isn't he?" "Yeah, we're doing a whole different take on it." "The baby's there." "I'm there." "Alright, well, I'll see you." "Cora?" "Are you going to see us tomorrow?" "Ah, probably not." "I've got family stuff on." "Dinner." "You can still stay for lunch." "Yeah, yeah, come over." "Come on." "No-one does Christmas like us." "Yeah, I know." "I've been to the last three." "Have you?" "Yeah." "Three?" "Three." "No!" "Yeah." "Were you at the one where Dan got arrested?" "You weren't at that one." "Yeah, I was there." "That was like six years ago." "See you, mate." "Doesn't seem like that at all." "Alright, see you, mate." "See you, Jesus." "Thank me for that later." "I'm not even going to ask." "Ah, Cooper needs a new nappy." "Yeah?" "So?" "And he's your son." "You were holding him." "You know the rules." "Well, Dan was holding him." "Doesn't look like it." "Come on, bro time." "Well..." "See you, buddy." "See you soon!" "Come on." "Um, so Cora's..." "Yeah, Cora." "That's my Christmas present to you, by the way." "Merry Christmas." "How is that a Christmas present, Sean?" "Well..." "Yeah, Dad hasn't finished the pool yet." "Mm-hmm." "He hit a..." "Sewerage line, yep." "Yeah." "Yeah, he did." "So she just rocked up on your doorstep?" "Yeah. 'Said, this is Cooper." "You're his dad.'" "What'd you say?" "'Who are you?" "' Classy." "Well, mate, they were the S Moody Air days, you know?" "No, no, not really." "Mate, it was a goldmine of lonely housewives." "Say what you will about those Acron 258 units, mate." "If not for those defective water pumps," "Coops wouldn't even be with us." "Didn't one of them blow up and burn a house down or something?" "Ah, mate, who can say?" "Well, the papers, the police..." "Jury's out, mate." "Jury's out." "So, Hayden and Cora, it's not..." "Oh, yeah, no." "No." "I thought so, too." "No." "He's just slinging money into her business." "It's purely professional, mate." "Oh, yeah, I'm sure it is." "Well, mate, maybe if you hadn't gone to London the minute after you'd said," "'Oh, it's alright, Cora, I'm definitely staying here now.'" "She knew that I might get the job, alright?" "Well, she's single now, mate, I'm telling you." "Can see it in her eyes." "Can you?" "Big time." "She was checking me out earlier." "Was she?" "Massively." "Massively." "You serious?" "But I'm off the market, so don't even worry about it." "And you and Peggy, you're... on?" "Yeah, she's pretty keen." "I am the father of her latest child." "And he's her favourite one too, so..." "BRIDGET:" "Sean, Peggy's here!" "Oh, speak of the witch." "Yeah, coming!" "Alright, so, lo I have provided thee with the miracle of Cora the hot girl at Christmas." "So thou shouldst do unto she as thy brethren surely wouldst have." "BRIDGET:" "Sean!" "Yeah, coming!" "Just don't fuck it up, alright?" "Hey." "Have you got the, ah..." "Yeah, yeah." "Sorry." "Little bit more in there for Christmas." "Sweet." "Yeah, no worries." "The nativity gig's going gang busters, so..." "Great." "..good coin." "What happens when Christmas is over?" "Yeah." "Um, I was thinking, tomorrow, maybe I could roll around after lunch if you like." "Why?" "Oh, I just thought, you know, Cooper's first Christmas with me..." "No, we're going to Mum's." "Right, well, you could come over here after that, if you want." "I just said we're going to my mum's." "Why are you getting all clingy?" "I'm not." "Is this cause of the handjob I gave you last week?" "No." "We've only had sex a few times." "It doesn't make us married." "OK, I know." "Sorry." "Forget it." "Sorry." "It's alright." "Don't worry about it." "Come on." "No." "Come on!" "No!" "Come on, you're all tense." "Yeah, I am tense." "Now." "But I'm not going to do that here now." "Well, what are you going to do with that?" "I'll take care of it, don't worry." "Lucky you're wearing a dress." "Do you want a..." "No, it's fine." "You sure you don't want a hand?" "No, it's fine." "(Baby cries)" "Be careful not to shake 'em up, boys." "Oh, sheep." "Hold me back, Narelle." "Liquid gold, Kevvie." "My best batch ever." "Merry Christmas, mate." "I thought you were joking when you said you were back on the home brew?" "No, mate, I've mastered it now." "Just be careful when you..." "Don't stack 'em too close together there." "If one explodes, they'll all go down like a bloody suicide bomber." "No, you're alright, Dad." "You sit down." "I did just have a fairly major heart attack, in case you'd forgotten." "Hey, Dan, what's the difference between a heart attack and a cow?" "What?" "Dad never milked a cow." "Get some new material, will you?" "That's..." "That's funny." "But actually, it's inaccurate though, Sean, because your father and I, we did milk cows." "Your great uncle had a dairy farm just outside of Kangaroo Valley..." "Sorry, Tez, I just remembered I've got to do something." "Do you need a hand?" "No, I'm good." "You sure?" "Yeah, that was before the expressway went in." "Used to be able to go down to Nowra." "There were lots of little windy roads just down..." "CORA: ..and I might call you back." "Hey, Cora, it's um, it's Dan." "About coming over today, if you didn't feel comfortable, then don't feel like you have to, you know?" "It's ah..." "We could catch up after Chrissy, if-if you wanted to, or um ..." "I don't know," "I was thinking we could head down the coast and do that trip that we missed out on if you... if you didn't have any plans." "So, yeah, so I'd love to catch up, mate." "Give us a call back." "Rock on." "OK, bye." "Hey." "Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." "Hey, Merry Christmas." "Good to see you." "Come on in." "Thanks, mate." "(Beeping)" "Dad, this is Elliott." "Elliott Pendle." "Kevin Moody." "Pleased to meet you." "No, pleased to meet you." "Can I get anyone a drink?" "Nah, no I'm fine, darl." "Yeah, white wine thanks, darlin'." "Anything buttery." "Oh, stop it!" "I call her darling, too." "Right." "I won't tell you what she calls me." "You know, Kev, I'm really pleased" "I've got the chance to meet you right now." "Bridget's told me a lot about you." "Heart attack, business going down the tube." "I see." "Hey, I've had my fair share of hardship, too." "I just want you to know I'm here for you, bro, right?" "You and me." "BFFs, I reckon." "Oh, you got back problems?" "No, just pulled a muscle." "I think I just exerted myself a little too much in the heat of the moment." "Used to get tennis elbow too, you know?" "Happily, this is not from playing tennis, though." "Darlin'." "Look at that." "Oh, kiss for the butter." "(Sheep bleats)" "Why is there a sheep?" "Hey, Seanie, tell Irene about your little concert there." "So I take a standard nativity scene, the traditional one, and I just Baz it." "Romeo and Juliet." "Yes." "Exactly." "It's camp." "It's now." "We just Bazzed the shit out of it." "It's awesome." "Ding ding." "May I have your attention please?" "I'd like to propose a toast to my brother, who, this day a year ago, suffered a sizeable heart attack." "Just there." "We thought we'd lost him, but we didn't." "We got him back." "And also into the equation I bagged this little minx here, my lovely wife Irene." "You saved two lives that day." "No, I not doctor." "I..." "Kevvie, he... he owes you his life, and you... you just saved me." "I wasn't sick." "But I was..." "I was broken on the inside there, and you put me back together." "But you know, alas, she accomplished what all the King's horsey men could not." "Horse?" "Well, I'm ..." "I'm the egg." "What?" "Well, look, what I'm trying..." "I love you, and here's to Kevin." "ALL:" "To Kevin." "When are you heading over to Peggy's?" "Ah, yeah, I'll go there soon." "Why am I egg?" "It gets cracked." "It's put back together." "I'm horse?" "That's a snazzy little unit." "Can I have a..." "You're a professional, yeah?" "Ah, well..." "So I imagine this is just for hiding in those tight little situations?" "Ah, no, it's more of a holiday kind of camera." "Mind if I fire off a few now?" "No, be my guest." "Maybe Bridget?" "Cora?" "Maybe you two nice and close together." "There you go, you could be sisters." "Terry, might move you out of this one." "Irene, perhaps we could get a little threesome going here, ladies." "There you are." "Nice and close." "Closer." "Oh, that's one for the internet." "So, I'm getting recognised on the street." "Radio stations are calling me up." "I don't know how they got my number." "I don't think there's anything to be proud of." "You were exposed as a shonky repairman." "Um, sorry, who else here has been on prime time TV?" "My name has, thanks to you." "Name only, no footage." "I've been on Border Security." "That was ensemble." "I was the lead." "So, how long have you two been back on?" "Oh, we're not..." "We're not really back on." "Yeah, we've actually gone into business together." "This is actually..." "This is one of the belts she's designed." "Is that a woman's belt?" "No, it's unisex." "It's unisex." "Well, if you need any more photos taken, cha-chow!" "No." "No, I don't think that I do." "Yeah, I think we've kind of moved past the dodgy garage shoots, no offence, mate." "No, no, none taken." "I've kind of moved past models and fashion anyway." "Oh, you shoot models?" "Yeah, yeah, in London and Paris." "What, stalking them through their windows or chasing them down the street?" "No, neither of those." "Hiding in bins when I spoke to you." "No, I've been doing lots of different things." "And it wasn't in a bin, Dad." "I was near..." "I was behind the bin, OK?" "It's a big difference, so don't ..." "Look, he might be a paparazzi sell-out scumbot, but he's making a fortune doing it." "So..." "Cheeky rose there, Kevbo?" "I think this one's from Provence." "Ooh-la-la!" "Another wine snob, eh?" "Just like Roger." "Tez!" "Ooh-la-la!" "Tez." "What?" "OK... see you, everyone." "ALL:" "See you." "Jeez, sorry, Bridget." "Just..." "Just having a little joke." "Just kidding, yeah?" "You'd be pretty unlucky to have two of them in a row, wouldn't you?" "Ooh-la-la!" "Thanks, Terry." "(Glass shatters)" "Bang!" "Bottles akimbo!" "It's like the fireworks to Mardi Gras, isn't it, Elliott?" "Oh, well, packed them too close together." "Don't you worry, I've got another case in the car, so I'll just..." "They might be a bit warm, but that's alright." "To Moody now, Moody takes it." "Little chip, no, it's a bomb!" "He's underneath it and he's continuing now!" "Seanie!" "What?" "What are you doin'?" "Peggy's, ah, picking me up over here, so just waiting." "Um, sorry." "Excuse me." "It's Terry's home brew." "Yeah, right." "I just..." "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the message." "It's..." "It was..." "I didn't want things to be awkward between us." "It's not awkward." "Good." "Great." "And I just..." "The whole heading down the coast thing," "I wasn't really, um..." "Because you're probably back now with Hayden, so..." "Are you?" "Or, are you back with Hayden now?" "Now it's getting awkward." "What?" "No, that's not what I..." "Do you mind if I just..." "No, go, go for it." "Go straight in there." "Excuse... get your stuff done." "Just hypothetically, if I was going to head down the coast..." "Dan, I just need to use the bathroom." "Yeah, sorry." "Bye." "You know, you've had a tough year." "You've ruined your family's business, you're still living at home, you're not much of a father." "Oh, steady on, mate." "I see Coops twice a week." "Twice a week?" "That's not enough, is it?" "And Peggy?" "I mean, you know, you probably imagined you two would be perfect together, but she doesn't want a bar of you." "Yeah, I know." "Look, my point is, I know how you feel." "You know, I've been there too." "I mean, you don't think Irene wanted a bar of me at first, do you?" "No way." "No bloody way." "I turned up at the hospital night after night after night with all sorts of ailments." "Broken toes and a knife wound." "Even faked an asthma attack in the waiting room one night." "Eventually she saw something in me that she just could not ignore." "What, love?" "Love?" "Not love, mate." "Love's for the movies." "Yeah, well, you get it in the end." "It is a by-product." "But no, you gotta wear 'em down at first." "It's a bloody war of attrition, eh?" "You should see me in full flight, Seanie." "Oh, I do not stop." "I'm like some kind of romantic Terminator, just coming at you and at you." "Oh, you cannot kill me." "Eventually they just give up." "So ring her, text her, send her a smiley face, a little poem, little joke." "Just call her and call her, and call her and call her and call her." "Just keep calling her until your fingers bleed and you've... and you've run out of credit and you've got nothin' left." "And you're just spent." "Yeah..." "Call her again." "Jesus, Terry." "Then call her again." "Anyway, let's get back to the party, nutsack." "Yeah, righto." "You can give me a hand in with the home brew out of the car." "Ah, can we get going now?" "Yeah, yeah, soon." "So, like, do you reckon I could come to yours for dinner tonight, or...?" "Ah, probably not." "You alright?" "Sorry, guys." "Yeah, yeah." "Oh, quick, Dan." "I think I saw Sporty Spice run into the dunny." "Babe, I..." "So, you guys, are you back on, or...?" "Oh, pretty much." "We're gettin' there." "Right." "It's time to settle down, Dan." "We've both had our fun." "I mean, she was seeing some bloke in London, and it's not like I put up with a dry spell." "I mean, I was ploughing fields." "I was having so much sex..." "She was..." "She was seeing someone?" "Oh yeah, some idiot." "Technically we were broken up." "That's right." "That's right, you were." "Anyway, it meant nothing to her." "She was bored, didn't know him, so started seeing some nob." "Man, you don't... you don't know the guy so you can't..." "No, I do." "I do." "Walt Roskow." "I know, sounds like a joke, right?" "It was some student in her class, apparently." "Yeah, I know." "You know?" "What do you mean?" "Yeah, it does." "Sounds like a joke name, doesn't it?" "You enjoy them?" "Ah, no, just getting used to them." "They're fine." "I think you've got the gas on, mate." "Kevbo, there you are." "Ah, no thanks, Elliott." "I don't drink these days." "Are you sure?" "It's the good stuff." "No, I'm fine, thanks." "Alright, well, you hold that for me, eh?" "Christmas." "You've done alright for yourself, man." "I mean, beautiful, mature wife." "Sean's a riot, Bridget's a firecracker." "Dan can be a little pretentious, but he'll be okay." "You got kids, Elliott?" "Oh, big time." "Check it out." "Fernando, 21, Dravad, 17," "Pia, Gertrude, both eight." "Twins, eh?" "No, not twins." "Born two weeks apart." "Listen, you do know that Bridget's very keen to be a mum?" "Duh!" "Like I don't hear that every day." "Oh, so you know it's something that's very important to her?" "Dude, say no more." "I know where you're headin'." "You're thinking I'm going to pogo your daughter senseless and then take off to Tahiti, leaving her holding the bundle." "Ain't gonna happen, bro." "Not my style." "Check it." "What's that?" "Hmm?" "What's that?" "Oh, this is more to scale, probably." "Are you saying that you've had a vasectomy?" "Bingo." "Tubes are firmly tied." "And does Bridget know?" "Yeah, I talk to chicks about that sort of stuff." "Come on, dude!" "Strictly bro talk." "Now you know there's nearly a 1% chance that after the op you'll never get it up again." "It's scary stuff." "I was worried there for a couple of days." "Then, out of nowhere, whooshka." "Massive erection." "I actually thought it looked bigger than before the operation, but the doctor tells me that's probably not possible." "I think it was an optical illusion of some sort, the way the dappled light was hitting the shaft at the time." "What's he telling you?" "No, no, no, nothing." "Strictly bro talk, yeah?" "Alrighty." "He's alright, your old man." "Catch you on the flipside, K-Dog." "Do you know that you're drinking out of a jar?" "Yep." "I just wanted to say that I'm really glad things are going so well for you." "Thank you." "You too." "I mean, having a bit of cash must make things easier." "Hayden's actually been really great." "Is he?" "Good." "Good." "Excellent." "And what about Walt?" "Has he been great too?" "The guy in your class?" "We used to joke about how his eyes were close together and..." "I mean, what?" "Was that before or after you and I were together, hmm?" "You're an idiot." "Oh, right." "So I'm Walt." "Awesome." "You'd prefer that your cousin hated you?" "No, what I'd prefer is to not be a boring nob that meant nothing to you." "Why'd you have to choose Walt?" "The guy's such a..." "What about Andy...?" "Oh, my God, you have totally missed the point." "And Hayden is not just... he's not the only one who's supportive because he just shoved money into things, OK?" "You're the..." "You're the one who cares about money." "You took that job overseas, and you said that you hated that stuff." "Yeah, well... at least I don't wear lady belts." "They're unisex." "Are they?" "Thanks for that." "That's really lovely." "Take your time, son." "Come on, Murali." "Oh, wide." "What was that?" "You bowling like a Pom now?" "Keep bowling like that, Dan," "I'm going to have to get a wide angle lens." "Oh, that's funny, Elliott." "Ooh-la-la." "There you go, Bridgie." "Maybe get the two girls in there together." "Come on." "Have a little kiss." "There you go." "Shot!" "Bridge, you call that fielding, mate?" "Can you stop calling it that?" "That's its name." "It's a sheep, and it's a boy." "Come on, mate." "Let's get this punk-arse bitch." "He's wearing a pink shirt." "It's salmon." "How much of a man can he be?" "It's a salmon shirt." "Like the fish." "Come on, Dan." "What's your problem?" "I don't have a problem, mate." "You can't bat." "That's your problem." "Oi, settle down." "You've had enough time." "20 minutes." "Time to retire." "Cora?" "Your bat." "Fine." "CORA:" "OK." "Not my problem you can't bat, mate." "Come on, darlin'." "Show them how it's done." "Hayden, maybe you could take the honours there." "I gotta take a wazz." "Maybe get a shot of the ladies while they're playing, eh?" "Sure." "Come on, Cora." "Smack him!" "Easy, Dan." "(All cheer)" "Hey, Dan." "Hey, careful!" "Get off me!" "What did I miss Get any photos?" "Ah, yeah." "These two were seeing each other in London." "Dan?" "Yes, OK, we were, but they were broken up at the time." "You're my cousin!" "We're family!" "Yeah, well you've got her now, so you've won, OK?" "Hey, hey, that's enough!" "You're carrying on like idiots!" "Just..." "Just forget it." "No, let's not forget it." "Let's sort it out now." "What's to sort out?" "He was with her, then he was with her." "Hold the front page!" "Yeah, but now he's back with her." "We're not back together." "Yeah, you're right about that." "Well, who bloody cares?" "Last year I nearly died," "I saw my business being driven into the ground." "Yeah, knew it." "Always finds a way to bring it back to me." "Yeah, Sean. 30 years of my life went into that business and now, thanks to you, I've got nothing left to show for it except a mountain of debt and some muck story on Today Tonight." "A Current Affair." "Oh, Jesus!" "Dad!" "Dad!" "K-Man, chill out." "No, Elliott, I won't bloody chill out." "Dad, just calm down!" "I am calm!" "But I've got every right to be angry." "But do you see me losing my temper?" "No!" "Because I'm a rational adult human being." "And if I can do it, the rest of you can bloody well do it as well!" "By the way, don't expect a kid from him." "He's had the snip." "Dude, that is so not cool." "Can you believe your old man?" "Total cock block." "Yeah." "I specifically asked you." "And I specifically never answered." "Darlin'." "Bridgie." "Bridgie." "You know what?" "This, here?" "This is a woman's belt!" "Well, Bridge is pretty upset now, so thanks for that." "Hang on!" "Was this taken out the front of that little chippie at the back of Earls Court station?" "Yeah, looks like it." "I used to hang out there in the '70s." "Had great Cornish pastries." "You ever had one of those?" "Terry." "Yep?" "This boring." "Yep." "Let's go." "(TV blares) Is this out of sync?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I got it from work." "(Doorbell rings)" "Confiscated off a bloke guy who brought 2,000 movies in." "Well, let's try an alternative title here." "Whoa, spoiler alert." "I've got every Bond film." "No." "What else you got?" "Look who's here." "There's my little man!" "There he is." "You came." "Yeah, nothin' else to do." "Yeah, great." "Anyone seen Once Were Warriors?" "No, it's not exactly Christmassy, is it, Dan?" "I got one." "Oh, Sean, no." "Oh, Sean..." "Stick it on again, Sean." "Coops hasn't seen it yet." "Come on." ".. dubbed 'the great aircon con.'" "Deborah Anderson and her family were looking forward to a lovely cool summer with their new air conditioning system." "Instead, they got this man, Sean Moody." "No comment." "Mr Moody, you've ripped people off and you're not even sorry." "Look, there's Daddy." "Here comes the best bit." "So you are sorry now?" "Yeah, I'm sorry." "I'm very sorry." "I'm sorry that your girlfriend has to put up with your BO." "You stink, mate." "You stink." "You stink, mate." "You stink, mate." "You two went to Paris, didn't you?" "Oh, my God, did you used to shag?" "Christmas has been a bit dull since you've been on the inside." "And you find you try and look after each other's backs." "Why would I want to look at a painting of you having sex with the kid's babysitter?" "That's not Fiona." "That's Dashenka, but you don't see Terry jumping up and down about it." "Gra-Gra?" "Where is she?"