"DRAWERS" "INSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS AND CHARACTERS." " Mom, he's gonna cut me!" " It's only a play my child." "CHAPTER 1-LOCKS" "There's a void inside of me that I just don't know how to fill." "Should I be yearning for money or for love?" "We are but actors and the streets are our stages." "I used to love a girl but she's now a slut." "I used to love a girl but now she's a slut." "One, two, three..." "Happy birthday!" "Let's see what it is." "Ayhan, let me take a family photo of you guys." "This dwarf will screw it up." "Ayse, you take it." "This is not a matter for the police." "I'm her mother." "It's just a case of the teenage blues." "Hang on a second." "Saadet, right?" "The paramedics have told me it was rape." "Don't you hear me?" "I'm telling you that it was an accident." "I have enough on my hands My daughter's life is on the line." "Ask her yourself when she wakes up!" "And it's Mrs. Saadet!" "You are rude!" "Know your place!" "Mind your manners!" "Know your place!" "Know your place, Ayhan." "The court gave this child's custody to me." "I'm still looking after your ass." "How will you take care of her?" "Do you want her to become a whore?" " Why would she become a whore?" "And what would that make you?" "One word and you're fired." "You lazy ass bitch." "You lazy ass, motherfucker." "Who's gonna fire me?" "Cut the crap short." "Who are you calling lazy?" "Do you know what people say behind your back in the theater?" "Do you want to know?" "Do you?" "Say it, say it if you dare." "Say it if you have the guts." "I'll make a fool out of you." "Crazy bastard." "We're just rehearsing." "Okay?" "It's just a play." "It's just a play." "Once upon a time there was a lonely mermaid, who came from distant lands... through warm, blue waters." "Whenever we leave her alone, she does that damned thing." "We need to make her stop." "The shrink said its normal for little girls and told me not to overreact." " Is this normal behavior?" " That's what he said..." "She's got her mom's blanket in between her legs and she's grinding." "I checked her panties the other day, they were all wet." "Sweetheart." "Why didn't you wake me up?" " Let me see them." "Where are they?" " You guys have such pretty feet." "Yes, we have!" "Let me see them little feet." "Can I have the remote control?" "Hello, Ayse?" "Where have you been?" "Something very bad happened." "You cheated on me!" "You never really loved me..." "If you can measure love, lets do it together." "With a cup or a pitcher?" "Zeus built the Parthenon in exchange for Athena's... virginity and you call me flirtatious?" " You are evil." " Evil!" "My little mermaid, would you like to go play?" "How dare you ask me to kneel?" "All I wanted was your love and loyalty." "Everyone is ready to die for their king." "Zafer, stop being a dick!" "You just ask for love and loyalty?" "Just like the ones before you." "Sure, I can fill my heart with love for my king." "But my body needs things other than your old body." "Cut it out!" "You have the body and the soul of a whore." "I would've traded my lands for your past." "But had I given up whole Olympus by now..." "It would not have been enough to purify your soul." "From now on, your gaze is poison, your soul is lost." "And you are mute!" "Ayse, where's the girl?" "Where's Deniz?" "She's in the room." "Playing." "I locked her in." "I told you to keep an eye on her." " I did." "I locked her in." " Give me the keys." "Please calm down." "You'll wake her up." "You're doing it again, aren't you?" "You little slut." "I forbid you to..." "Everything looked OK." "I told her to wait for you so we could celebrate all together." "Isn't it how we do it all the time?" "But she insisted." "Fine." "I went over and baked her a cake." "She didn't like it." "She wanted to buy one." "So she went out!" "I was watching TV." "That show my manager Nurhan mentioned." "I lost track of time." "I called but she wouldn't answer." "I flipped out." "She was nowhere to be found!" "So I walked back home." "It was horrible." "Her arms and legs were all cut up." "Anyway, I managed to call the ambulance." "My God, she was screaming so much." "All the neighborhood." "They all know me." " Who?" " What?" " Did she tell you who did it?" "No, I have no idea." "It's not like we know her boyfriends." "Here, I'll take it." "Thanks." "Do you have any money?" "I can think of a few names but not sure." " What about the police?" " Are you mad?" "We can't get the police involved." "God, we should get out of here quickly... before getting ripped off." "What can we fend for ourselves as women?" "No police!" "You know there are other things." "We'll end up in the papers." "OK, I get it." "No police." " So shut up then." " Deniz was little." "Ayhan was the king..." "Don't you know what Ayhan would say if he hears about this?" ""She's become a whore just like her mother."" " Exactly!" " He thinks I'm a whore as well." "Cause you left him." "He thinks you're a whore." "Open the door, slut." "Hope she gets well soon but this is not something easy to get over." "What a shock!" "You said it was an accident and refused the rape kit." "It was a nervous breakdown." "Thank God it's behind us." "Why did you refuse to talk to the police, ma'am?" "Deniz won't speak." "That is normal." "But if you don't get the police involved... we can only keep her here for a limited time." "I want to have her in my ward so maybe I can talk to her." " Unfortunately Deniz won't speak." " But she should!" "If we can get help from family members or friends..." "She was a lonely kid." "She used to draw faces on her fingers and name them." "She kept diaries." " That's it." "Diaries!" "Scrapbooks!" "All gone!" "We were on the roads touring all the time." "Mrs. Saadet, in order to get free treatment,... you need to get a police report and get a case record." "For God's sake." "No need for police reports or case records" "She left the house and ended up like this in a few hours." "It is so strange!" "My daughter is not insane!" "Go and find yourself crazy people out on streets!" "What did I tell you before?" "Didn't I forbid you to do that thing?" "Didn't I?" "Why do you lie to me?" "Yeah!" "Bravo!" "Strip!" " Allah!" " Go girl!" "Cut it out!" "Saadet, stop." "What else am I supposed to do?" "Lift up my skirt and show my underwear?" "It is the military." "That's why they tell you to strip." " It's a theater here!" " You gotta show them your panties." "And you idiots!" "Tell her to shake it." "Lift it up!" "Come on." "Let's go!" " Strip!" " Shake it!" "Stop!" "Sorry!" "Deniz, sweetheart?" "Mom, can I stay with you from now on?" "Where did that come from?" "Why are you so sweaty?" "Hold on, let me get you something to change into." "Take off your shirt." "Come on!" "What do I tell you all the time?" "Whatever happens in life, however bad it may be... just tell yourself, it's just a play." "It will pass." "Okay?" "Saadet!" " Ah here comes Erkut." " Welcome Deniz." "Let me get changed." "We'll go out shopping." "He beat her again!" "Saadet, please." "We'll see you at home." "And then I asked him:" ""Who the hell are you!"" "Because he talked too much." "Check out my pilaf." "Perfect!" "Oh my!" "I told you to turn that thing off." "So tired of all of that nonsense." "We got great music here." "Guess what we bought for Deniz today?" "A red lamp." "It looks so good." " Great!" "Honey, take a picture of us." "Yes." "I'll get the reports from police tomorrow." " No." "Please don't." " Are you sure, Saadet?" "Yes." "I just want to leave it behind us and carry on." "Do you know what we decided to do?" " To open up a tavern!" "I'll make granny's appetizers." "My sweet daughter will run the place." "At nights, I'll be singing along the piano." " In a tavern?" " Yes, Sir!" "And why not?" "Go and tell him why..." " Ours will be an elite tavern." " Then lets drink to that!" "Oh my..." "It was real cheap wine." "Aw, my curly haired angel is up already." "Good morning." "Oh!" "She even fixed breakfast." "What are you writing?" "Shall we make granny's omelet?" "You should visit her." "She misses you so much." "Mom, do they serve breakfast in a tavern?" "What tavern?" "Oh my..." "I'd never get up that early." "It's your duty!" "What shall we name it?" " King's Tavern." "Right." "And I am the queen after all." "Erkut, where is he?" "Morning!" "He's always grumpy in the mornings." "But he's a nice guy." "Thank God we never fight." "Sweetie, I will be rehearsing late tonight." "You'll have dinner with Erkut, all right?" "Come on!" "Move!" "Before the 19th century, only male writers' works were recognized." "That was until letters and diaries were accepted as literary works." "Only then were women writers recognized too." "Just like which mythological character, punished into silence by Zeus?" " Medusa!" "Exactly, like Medusa with her serpent locks." "Women began speaking up and writing." "But it took time." "Because they were silent for centuries." "They didn't have a language of their own." "So what did they do?" "They started imitating male writers." "Deniz!" " What's up?" " Fine." "Jump in!" "How's my pretty girl doing?" "We missed you." "Shall we go home?" " Okay." " Good girl." "How's school?" "What are you studying?" "We are studying mythology." "Medusa!" "She's got snakes in her hair." "Deniz, listen!" "I don't want you to use that tunnel." "It's a shortcut but very dangerous." "Day or night." "With or without your friends." "Don't you ever get in." "Use the main street." "Do you understand?" "So what were you saying?" "You little runaway." "Come here." "Where have you been?" "Ayse, clear that make-up stuff." "Deniz, go get changed." "Women are unstable." "Untrustworthy!" "The chef's in a good mood today, cooking pasta!" "Her mood constantly changes." "Mom asked me to show my essays to you too." " Her rubbish ideas again!" " Come on guys, I'm starving here." "You'll become a much better actor than me." "I told you to read Shakespeare and Chekhov." "They wrote all that can be written." "Forget that contemporary crap." " Shakespeare is so last century, baby!" "Ayse, fix the table!" "You don't do it anymore, do you?" "Show it to me." " I got some garden tomatoes." " Ayse!" "Good girl." "Don't you ever do it." "I love you so much." "Did you like my skirt?" "Shall I get you one too?" " Yes." " Oh you're so beautiful." "Come on!" "Before it gets cold." "She'll become a model." "Maybe we shouldn't have cooked pasta." "She looks like a twig." "Aw, darling." "I still didn't get to wear the ones you got me last week." "Please." "You're embarrassing me." "You are getting depressed." "Maybe we should take a trip together." "A few days away would be good for both of us." "Can I be alone with Deniz for a while?" "Saadet, I meant to say this earlier." "When Ayhan was playing King Solomon..." "I don't give a shit about the king right now!" "Go to Deniz's place." "Tidy it up a little." "I left everything in a mess." "Bring some clean clothes too." "So we can get her out soon before they screw us totally." " Oh, and get me two packs of cigarettes." " But I..." " My beautiful girl." " My precious." "Mehmet, someone needs to look after Deniz." "I don't trust that bastard Cahit." "He'd always come up with an excuse to flunk her." "Nobody's perfect!" "Some miss an eye, others have small ears." "Ayse would fix it with make up." "Don't you worry." "If she can dance then she has a musical ear." "Ayhan has always been kind to me." "I owe him a lot." "Happy birthday Deniz." " Foxy fox." "What time is it?" " Here, I got you stomach pills." "Some make your head spin while others make you outright puke." "Foxy and Gazelle are so funny!" "Gazelle has loose pants!" "She's not trustworthy!" "Probably jealous of you." "She's in love with me." "Enough is enough." "Come on!" "Why are you so grumpy, man?" "It's just a joke." " Zafer, you dwarf!" " Dwarf but hung like a horse, baby!" "I'll crush you under my cock, you midget!" "Yeah?" "Thought you were gonna crush me." " What happened?" " Take out that trash!" "Ayse, forget about Ayhan." "Here's a real man!" "Mehmet, can I trust you?" "You're an honorable man!" "Don't tell me it was your first time." "Not at all!" "I've been doing it since I was five." "The reason I asked is because there's nothing like the first time." "Imagine the first time for bugs, birds and fish..." "Seek the patronage of some great man, And like a creeping vine on a... tall tree." "Cyrano de Bergerac!" "They were my fairy tales!" " Don't hate literature." " I don't." "I like other stuff." "I like Isabel Allende." "Magic realism." "Here, these are mine..." "Ay-yende." "Your essays are useless." "They won't like contemporary stuff at the exam." "What happened after your girlfriend left you?" "If you fail to enter the conservatory your dad will kill us both." "Nina works every time." "Why would you tell me that you kiss the ground I walk on?" "Someone should kill me." "I'm so tired." "Here." "Look." "Let's try this." "Take these." "Your wings." "Look here." "I am a seagull." "No." "Smile right here." "I am an actor." "Step back." "Look to the distance." "No." "I am an actor." "So he's here too?" "Did you know?" "He never believed in theater." "He mocked with my dreams." "So I lost my confidence." "Lost all courage." "I didn't know how to use my hands or how to stand on stage." "I can't not control my voice." "Do you know how it feels to realize you are a terrible actor?" "We know, honey." "That's enough." "She was really great, Ayhan." "She did not stumble once." "It was Cihat's rudeness." " I don't want to be an actor, Dad." " What do you want to do?" "We'll open up a tavern together with mom." "Don't look." " You forgot your lines again!" " You have no "souplesse!"" "I got no "souplesse?" You slut!" "Yes, you are a slut!" " Yes I am!" " Yes you are." "Slut!" "He never gets off the stage." "That snake!" "Aren't you tired of him yet?" "Any fuckers around?" "I was at moms." "I missed her, dad." "What do you mean take another look?" "She hasn't lost her virginity." "You should be ashamed to bring your daughter here." "I know you're lying." "Don't cry, dad." " You're already dressed up." " Lock the door behind you." "OK?" "Are you leaving?" "Could you not tell your mom you're staying at a friend's?" "I can't." "But I'll come back for breakfast." "He hardly talks and never wants to be in a photo." "Something is fishy." "Men are like lemons." "They make your mouth water but you feel sick when you eat them." " I think he's gay." " Nonsense." "He must be married." "Much better!" "He'll fuck off when he's done." "Dick!" "You say "I'll dick you around!"" "I think it's a newly furnished flat." "Very dusty!" " What's wrong with your toes?" " Same as my dad's." "We have wonky pinky toes!" "He already likes you guys." "Wants to meet you all." "Well, bling bash no cash!" "The house is empty." "We need to do some shopping." "Ayse made meatballs for you." "Come on, dear, you must eat." "Deniz." "Sorry, we can't accept visitors." "I came by as soon as Ayse called." "Silly of her!" "She shouldn't have called." "I'm her mother." "Oh my..." "I'm Ayhan's neighbor from Kirazlidere." "Nothing serious." "Just a minor accident." "We don't want to worry her dad." " I need to go back inside." " If you ever need anything..." "Ah sure, thanks." "Ayse, come on in, honey!" "Have a nice day." "Have you lost your mind?" "It's the biggest agency dad." "They organize fashion shows and shoot commercials." "Why not?" "Yeah, Ayhan." "Why not?" "It was my idea." "Can't you see how pretty she is?" "Never mind him." "You know what's bugging him." "No." "What's that?" "Everyone has problems." "Why make such a big deal?" "That's how all dads are." "It's men's stuff." "Coming to the beach?" "They still give him a hard time at the theater." "We should move out here." " Nothing will change." " He has already changed!" "Look!" "He's in such a great mood." "We are so much closer now!" "Hey, wait!" "Let's swim!" " Welcome." "You must be Ayhan's daughter." " I am." "My name is Deniz." " My daughter is a big fan of yours." " What's your name?" " Asli." " You're so pretty Asli!" " What do you wanna be when you grow up?" " An actress." " Ayhan influenced her." " Ah!" "Good luck!" "Mommy!" "Good morning, sir." "I'd like to visit you about a very interesting case." "I can't seem to figure it out." "I'd like to have your opinion." "Alright sir." "You'll wear the wedding dress, huh?" "Are you a virgin?" "Kidding!" "Why don't you come over sometime?" " Sure, for dinner?" " Yeah, right, to eat you up." " Yunus!" " Someone has messed with my stuff." "All my stuff was on the floor." "This place is filthy." "No one would touch it." "If you don't want to wear them I'll find someone else." "Good damn you all." "Deniz, come on!" "All of you!" "Line up!" "Quickly!" "Watch out for him." "Nut job." "Hear the music." "Heads up." "Smile!" "I looked at her scrapbook Deniz clearly has a drawers problem." " What?" " Drawers." "Well, I have plenty of drawers, cabinets, closets and whatnot." "In English, the word 'drawers' also means underwear." "In fact, the two are connected." " This part is very important." " I didn't know you spoke English." " Deniz should receive EMDR treatment." " What the heck is that?" "Let me explain." "We all have drawers in our minds." "Some are wide, others narrow, or deep..." "Some are filled to the brim while others are empty." "For example, we may fill our work and achievements into a separate drawer." "Or not." "We may call one a family drawer." "Another may be filled with sex, And yet another with hobbies..." "Some drawers remain empty." "Later in life, these empty drawers may cause disappointment and despair." "Sometimes, we waste time with a wrong drawer." "Some drawers remain locked." "The answers and reasons remain hidden there." "CHAPTER 2" " DRAWERS" "Deniz, we talked about this before." "You want to open up a tavern with your mom." "A childish dream!" "I told you, I can give up everything." "My parents would never accept you." "Your parents are actors." "Do you love me?" "Just like others." " So?" " I sleep with all of them." " I'm cheating on you." " I'm cheating on you too." " I'm not joking." " Neither am I." "My parents found me a girl to marry." "I have a wedding soon." "This is where we're at." "Lets keep it like this.." "And don't leave these bills lying around." "I said "get up and leave"." "He says "you must hear this one thing"." "Just finished sex." "Just get up and leave, right?" "He wants to keep dating." "Hand in hand." "Forever!" "Until we fuck!" "And then?" "His breath would stink." "Or he'd come early." "Or he couldn't get it up." "And I have been thinking that you were the love of my life." "Marriage talk-already!" "His military service stories!" "He even asked me if I liked babies." "Yuck!" "Get yourself a fresh pair of underwear first, then you can propose." "Anyway, I woke up the other night, and saw three more guys in bed..." "I said:" "That's life!" ""Get up and leave."" "You must be firm. "Get up and leave!"" ""Get up and leave!"" ""I've got the goods, I make the rules."" ""I've got the goods..." What?" ""I've got the goods, I make the rules."" "Who's that bitch?" "Pay your own bills." "Mahmut is not coming back." " It's Ayse." " Ayse?" "They drove him mad at the theater again!" "He's been asking about you." "I told him you were at your mom's." "Dad." "All because of you." "You're happy with your mom." "You finally became just like her." "Look at you." "You look like a whore." "You worship money." "I make enough money by modeling." "Though, I had flu last week, I stayed in." "A week before that I got an abortion." "Did you know about it?" "I've been to London for English classes." "Did you know that?" "Look at my clothes." "Who do you think bought them?" " Your mom..." " My mom?" "How?" "She's starving." "You just used her and threw her out." "Do you even care?" "She made a whore of you." "Just like herself." " Do you sell yourself for money?" " How do I look from behind, dad?" "Can you see my boots?" "Very popular, my boyfriend bought them.." " Do you like them?" " Your mom sold you out." "She even sold your custody to me." "That whore." "I've plenty of lovers, dad." "They buy me panties, underwear!" "I never said, you can't have lovers." "I said, don't become a whore!" "I'm not a whore." "I give myself away for free!" "It's a nice bed." "Sturdy." "Your dad knows his business!" "Guys must be disgusted by your wonky pinky toes." "MONEY TRANSFER TO SAADET ALGIN" "Don't rush so much." " Yunus, you keep calling me, all the time." " What's up, girl?" "I'm going to see the doctor." "Hope everything's OK." "My tongue has healing capabilities." "Your tongue's sick." "You should also go see a doctor." "You're the most comfortable in underwear, why are you so stiff?" "Not stiff." "Uninterested!" "There's no cold woman, if you know how to warm her up." "How about some dry panties, horny girl?" "What's up, honey?" "Yes doctor." "Right away." "Dr. Moshe is waiting for you." "The discharge and the odor might occur for many reasons." "I'll write you some antibiotics." "But most importantly you should refrain from sex for the next three weeks." "Your partner would be turned off by the awful smell, anyhow." "Yunus, I'll be right over." "Nice house." "Who does the cleaning?" " I do." " I can tell." "It's spotless." " Champagne?" " Yes, I'd love some." " Would you like to take a shower?" " No, I took one before coming over." "Here." " To health." " No, to hygiene." " I wanna lick you all over." " Yeah?" " Your panties, are they clean?" " What?" "Oh, sure." "I've been changing them three times a day since I was a kid." " Hmmm love it." "I'm gonna lick you so deep!" " Really?" " I'm going to make you my bitch." " Three weeks ha?" "I got the goods I make the rules." "Shhhh, never mind, you keep going down." "That's how we girls fuck men!" "You are officially graduated." "There Deniz." "This it how it goes." "Don't ride the donkey, he might start believing he is a horse." "I'm so tired of this thing." " I never liked that pussy boy Mahmut anyway." "Let's not talk about that." "I'm hungry." "In order to find true love you need both sides with good hearts." "Eww!" "I'm gonna find you loveless relations." "So tired of your love talk." "Nonsense, people who are left behind suffer." "Think I'm gonna throw up!" "There you go." "Will you take these wings off my plate?" "I've told you a million times!" "Fine, put them back." " Bring them, I'll take more.." " Coming." " Could you drop that phone for two minutes?" " It's not for me." "This number used to belong to that high society girl." "So I keep receiving invitations to do parties and commercials." " What now?" " Sush, I'm checking." "'You're invited to rally champion Ali's flower themed party'." "Let's go!" " We're already there!" " Don't be silly, we don't even know the guy." "But I'm bored to tears over here, Noynoy." "I promise, I won't leave you for a second." "Can we go, please!" " Please let's go." " I don't want to." " Please, please." " No!" " Foxy, what are we going to do?" " I don't know." "I wanted the theme to be flowers but guests turned out to be haystacks." "Absolutely!" "So who invited you guys?" " We're Ali's friends from school." " Really?" " Yeah!" "From college." " Which one?" " Marmara, Fine Arts." "I'm glad to meet you guys." "Especially you!" "Guess we have all changed." "I'm Ali." "But you were a skinny kid back then." "No complaints now." "Ah you covered it so smoothly!" "Well, it's better to sit on something hard." " I need a drink." " Cocktails here are crap!" " Would you do anything for me?" " I would." "Anything you ask." "She attempted suicide a few times." "Apparently melancholia is blue happiness." "We know none of that stuff." "The only medicine dad used to buy was aspirin." "Did she receive any treatment?" "We often went to hospitals." "Even the day after we got married." "People say she wasn't always like that." "Makes me sad." "Come with me, I want to show you something." "Asli!" "Is this it?" "What does your wife think?" "We moved seven times in the last eight years." "She never was happy." "She's not interested in material things." "Why would you waste time in a garden while you live by the sea?" "I've never seen you swim either!" "Don't let my appearance fool you." "I come from a farming family." "My medicine is soil." "The well known rally racer made an accident on his way back from vacation," "God bless him." "So young!" "It's so sad." "He died on his way to the hospital..." "The accident was caused when an oncoming vehicle spun out of control." "One love is never enough for me!" "I know she can handle it." "She's got a little confidence problem but hey, no worries." "We were looking for a model who can act as well." "Meeting you was really unexpected!" "There are plenty of scriptwriters." "And dialogue writers grow repetitive over time." "I'm not creating anything special." "I just talk as if I were somebody else." "After all Shakespeare has written everything that can be written..." "I can't make it, sorry." "You write stuff as if it comes out of other people's mouths." "This is important." " You just played an Ukrainian model." " Impersonations, a family gift." "Literature is my passion." "I see lot of similarities between you and your father!" "Watched him on stage, long time ago." " Do you know my father?" " Yes, he was great at impressions." " You remind me of him." " Really?" "Yeah, right?" "Ayhan is so talented, so sweet..." "So, Ahmet, what do you think?" "I think it's worth giving a shot." "But she has to decide first." "Come on, give her a chance!" "I don't think I can do it." "Come on, Gazelle." "Oh come on." "One last drink." "We're celebrating." " I'm not waiting on this line." " Leave it with me." "If you turn your back then leave If you give up then shut up" "I've hit rock bottom and I just don't care" "My head's kinda fuzzy don't know how to say." "Not sure how many more drinks or smoke I can take." "Being broke is just another lame excuse." "One more sip one more toke and I just don't care!" "If you come at me then go right ahead If you turn your back then leave." "If you give up then shut up I've hit rock bottom and I just don't care." "The doctor is here." "Mrs. Saadet, it's really hard for me to keep Deniz here..." "Furthermore, she's not ready to leave." "But she feels so much better." "She went out for a walk, ate lunch." " The only thing is that her scabs are itchy." " Her real wounds are so much deeper." "I swear she wants to leave!" "I'll take really good care of her at home." " Saadet." " You shut your hole!" " Fine, I'll release her." " Thank god." "We need to celebrate this." "What is there to celebrate?" "Do you know what kind of drugs caused the marks on her face?" "No way!" "She just has bad skin" "Yes, she did drugs." "The most dangerous type!" " Good going Ayse." " Sorry but I had to admit." "Now we'll never leave here." "You're away all the time." "There's this void in your mind." "Spiteful critical." "Ultimately dull." "The actor's daughter!" "Constantly observing." "Life is a play to you." " You just sit back and watch us." " You're the king of actors, you!" "Enough, for six months!" "Always your dad!" "You're doing all this shit just because you want to do it." "Here it comes." "Here I slide in." "What's the matter?" "Can't get it up?" "So what if your little toe is crooked?" "Who cares about your similarities with your dad?" "Fuck that." "If that's what you worry about, better break it." "Cut your ties with him and finish it." "All losers dream about moving south and opening a tavern." "I'm not going!" "I'm not going to be another wannabe rock singer!" "Don't wash the corpse too much, it'll fart." "Those people are all dead." "God is not your salvation, girl." "I have no problem with God." "His followers are dickheads." "Why don't you guys rape me one day." "Maybe I'll find some salvation." "I'm going south now to piss on your dreams." "Hard-on issues are painful." "The needle broke on it." "Gazelle, come on." "We're leaving." "God damn you!" "I love you so much, sweety!" "Dad, I wrote the dialogues for this show." "Deniz bought you a gift with her first paycheck." "When I call you will see my photo, dad." "Ah, welcome!" "These are from Ayhan's seedlings." "The ones that you bought." "Really?" "Look at those tomatoes." "I didn't mean to interrupt." "He loved the gift." "I'm sure he'll use it." "You have no idea what happened..." "I asked her if she'd want to go." "She said "yes, but by myself, alone."" "I asked, "where, with who?" No answer." "She was very distant in the last days." "She opens the drawer." "Bakes a cake for Asli." "And she leaves a short note." "Luckily, Asli was asleep." "I was in the garden, working." "She baked a cake..." "She opens the chest..." "Happy birthday Deniz!" "Damn it." " Happy birthday." " Hello?" "I can't hear you." "I'm sorry." "Poor reception!" "Sorry." "But you haven't taken a shower yet." " I did but couldn't..." " I brought you clean clothes." " Darn!" " You smell clean." "What, yes I watched it." "Mom, it's OK." "Yes, I can hear you." "How much do they offer?" " Doesn't matter really." " How much?" "Never in a million years." " Put on those nice clothes." " It's OK really." "Mom!" "I told you there was no hot water!" "What else do you want?" "OK, fine." "Here, look." "I'm wearing fresh panties!" "Would you like to check?" " No, it's OK." " Here's the old one!" "See?" "Enough!" "Deniz, don't!" "Get the fuck out of here!" "All of you!" " Shut up crazy!" " Mrs. Ayse please." "Shut up crazy!" "Get the fuck out!" "Fuck off!" "Mom!" "You should go." "I'll stay over tonight." " It's so nice." " Yes, April showers." "My perm has been ruined." "You should thank Ayse." "She is Ayhan's best work." "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENIZ" "It's my beautiful daughter's birthday today!" "Happy birthday!" " What?" "Did I say something wrong?" " I need to wake up early tomorrow." " There's the cake!" " What the heck?" "Her daddy's girl." "Stubborn as a mule." "The king's daughter." "Go on, run away." "Without your queen you wouldn't have been here." "I worked my ass off for ten years to give birth to you!" "She didn't run away Saadet." "Yes she did." "So many times." "Straight back to the king." "Finally I gave her away and found some peace." "We have such a beautiful daughter!" "My daughter!" "Isn't that so?" "One day you'll know my worth but it will be too late." "My dad used to provoke rivalry between me and my brother." "He would ask "what is eight times nine?" How should I know?" " 72." " How shall I know?" "I'm bad at math." "My brother would give the correct answer immediately." "Dad used to say 'She'll never become anything."" "What happened?" "I'm the leading actress!" "And your clever son?" " Plumber!" " Exactly." "Sells tiles." "Never goes to the theater." "Now I want to see all hands up, let's dance!" " What's with the girl, Saadet?" " Ah do you believe in everything she says." "She makes things up." " She had so many abortions." "Good God." "Have you seen it with your own eyes?" "She grew up alone." "Who knows?" "That's what I'm saying." "Who the heck could know?" "She can't relate to anyone." "Can't keep a job." "She keeps talking about opening a tavern with you." "What?" "I used to say that just to amuse her." "She took it seriously." "Why do we do this to our kids?" " This is not good parenting." " How the hell would you know?" " Are you a parent?" " I was not that lucky like you Saadet." "You should solve your issues with your dad." "Who the heck are you?" "Know your place!" "You will respect me." "You've turned Ayhan into your pet but I'm still your superior." "Do you dye your hair yourself?" "I like it." "Color mine too." "Daughter." "How come no one told me?" "I was so scared." "We were scared too, dad." "When you didn't pick up your phone that day." "Don't you know your old man?" "Girl, I've got a surprise for you." "Love you!" "Check out the envelope." "Gazelle!" "Impossible to wear heels." "At least you wear underwear." " How you been girl?" " I'm getting married dude." "Where did that come from?" "Well, I've met Metin years ago." "He called and asked me out to dinner!" "Then I thought, there might still be hope out there." "And he proposed that night." "He thinks I can make a great mom." "Then I met his parents and three weeks went by like a breeze." " So?" " So what?" "You woke up in bed with three other guys and that was life!" "So husband's bringing three of his friends tonight?" "Did you come to ruin everything?" "How many relationships have you buried so far?" " Aren't you ashamed?" " Excuse me?" "You have lost it, girl." "How did you end up here from there?" "Don't mess with me." "Fuck off!" "You were gonna act and dance." "Were they so worthless?" "Worthless?" "Don't use that word." "For the 22 years that I lived with my parents," "I ate chicken wings while my brothers and parents ate the breasts and the legs." "Do you know the meaning of worthless?" "I'm getting married and having my own kids." "Gazelle, please, don't go!" "I will shred you to pieces." "Get out of here!" "Gazelle, please!" "CHAPTER 3-KEYS" "Good morning Mrs. Saadet." "We will be working for a while today." "Let's go." "It's okay." "Are you cold?" "The notes become unreadable after a while." "Do you want to talk?" "Did you find the key?" "You mention a locked drawer in your notes." "It's enough for the day." "Are you hungry?" "You must be tired of hospital food." "Ayse?" "Ayse?" "It's the first time he was this rough." "Usually he would stop after a few slaps." "It was my fault." "I walked in when the lights were on." "He thought I was laughing at him." "I swear, I wasn't." "Enough!" "Enough!" "I used to do this with make up, at the theater." "Get up, dear." "Get yourself together." "Once upon a time there was a lonely mermaid who came from distant lands... through warm, blue waters." "Dad, Ayse is leaving." "Won't you say a thing?" "Shakespeare says "Nothing can come of nothing."" "So you are nothing!" "Let's go Ayse." "What's that?" "I'll sell it for the right price." "I need to support Asli when she starts school." "This is not a suitable place for a young girl." "What are you doing?" "Deniz don't!" "Are you okay?" "Girl are you alright?" "Why is it that when we meet someone for the first time, we think we've slept before?" "Do you forget them?" "Your mom thinks those friends are imaginary." "Ayse told me that you used to draw gazelle and fox pictures on your fingers." "Then what?" "I started forgetting them." "The faces disappeared." "What happens when people forget about the ones that they have been with?" "It's natural that you forget." "We become like the people around us." "And you became many people." "Hundreds of them." "We unconsciously feed the obsessions of others." "Unless of course, you imagine them like your finger puppets." "Fox, gazelle, mom and dad." "There's not a single photo of you with them, here." "You drew some pictures but that's all." "They are not here." "Got it." "The camera made you uncomfortable." "Are you tired?" "Not tired." "I said they are not here." "How would Gazelle be on stage on your 5th birthday?" " I'm not lying." " I didn't say that." "Everybody dreams." "And you're smart girl." "You have vivid dreams." " I'm not talking out of my ass here." " But you could." "It happens to kids with separated parents." "It's not your fault but your problem." "Fuck off!" "You write about gazelle and foxy in this notebook." "You write about everything." "There are dozens of photos of other people but not of them." " You're in pain Deniz." " No." "I just miss them." "To live these relationships is as painful as imagining that they are real." "You've been here for 26 days." "Does it feel good to have your parents around?" " Yes." "That's why I cut myself." " What else did you mean then?" "So I give pussy." "I'll deal with the price." "So what?" "Is that you Gazelle?" "I'm a wounded gazelle." "Do you want to touch me and see if I'm real?" " Can't we just be friends?" " Like Foxy." "Are you a faggot?" " Did Foxy really exist?" " No, that was me as well." "I'm a fag and a slut." "Don't you like fags?" "Was it Gazelle doing all that naughty stuff?" "Are you scared?" "Don't be." "Are you tired of all that hospital food?" "Are you a romantic?" "You wanna take me out?" "What's all that smiling and waving hands for?" "Who gives a shit?" "My dad was there." "That little girl was there too, across the road on the sidewalk." "Some fucking car kept honking." "If it stopped, dad would've answered his phone." "But my dad never blocks the traffic." "Ayhan never forgets his lines." "There's no one like Ayhan." "My mom was there too." "She baked a cake." "Granny was sick." "I stopped by your granny." "She's very sick." " What's wrong?" " She's just old." "Wait." "This is the show Nurhan was telling me about." "Should I do it?" " Shall I just go buy a cake?" " Fine, so I won't deal with this." " I thought you were taking me out." " Can we stay in?" "Do you want booze?" " Buy something good and I'll stay." " What do you want?" "Whiskey!" "Something good, huh?" "Mom, are you going to stay tonight?" "Sure, we can watch the show." ""I will never leave you." Tonight at ZTV." "I will never leave you baby." "Hello, it's Deniz." "Is it Deniz or Gazelle?" " Deniz." "Don't you remember me?" "I'm Ahmet." "I think you're confused." "Do we know each other?" "Deniz, it's me Ahmet." "Don't you remember?" " Ahmet from the theater?" " What theater?" "From the agency." "Are you OK?" "Ahmet from the agency." "Lost your mind?" "Your dad is the actor one." "Not me!" "I came to one of your orgies." "We had great sex." "Don't you remember?" "You had a blue book." "You pasted my picture in it." "You wrote 486 right next to it." "Deniz!" "Gazelle!" "Come back!" "You're doing it again aren't you?" "I'm gonna cut you slut." "You did it again." "I forbid you." "I will cut you up." "Ayhan, stop!" "What are you doing?" "Mom, he's gonna cut me." "Did you see this sweetheart?" "She looks just like daddy." "I hope she passes the exam." "Even if she does, it's never easy." "Rehearsals, tours." "Deniz used to come and ask for a fairy tale." "Who's got time for that?" "I don't know how I raised her." "Deniz used to tell my daughter a fairy tale of a mermaid." " She said she heard it from her mom." " No way!" "She must have made it up, again!" " Mom." " I don't know how I raised her." "Mom?" "There's my baby." "My yellow rose." "Good to see you well." " I'm expecting you next week." " I'll be here." "I'll see you later." "Ayse, are you going out?" "Where to?" "My friend's birthday." "I told you." " Yes, now I remember." " I've set the table for you two." "Thanks." " Deniz?" " She's inside." "Resting." "My mermaid!" " Food is ready." " I don't want to..." "Ayse made some wonderful rice." "Granny's style." "I don't want to." "I'm not hungry." "Fine." " Here." " What's this?" "The money your dad had sent me for years." "Your grandma always grabbed it out of my hands and went straight to the bank." "She's gotten so old." "She forgets where she hides it so asked me to take it away." "That's the key money for the king's tavern." "I always believed in you." "You know?" "That's because you're in the audience." "Actors can't convince each other easily." " Look at that." "Our king." " And you're my queen." "We didn't act well." "We destroyed everything." "Always in an argument..." "I remember first time I was left alone with you." "I didn't know what to do at all." "I didn't feel anything." "I said "He screwed me again."" "I started watching other moms." "I imitated them." "In other words, I acted." "So you started loving me later on?" "When I saw you at the hospital in blood that night." "Never mind." "If I were to back out of the tavern business, would you forgive me?" "It's just a play, mom." "Just a play." "Yes it was..." "Something about a heart attack." "Intensive care." "We need to go..." "We are not going anywhere." "Calm down." "Is he dead?" "He had a heart attack." "But they put him in intensive care." " Mom, tell them not to move him." " Do what now?" "Hold on." " Mom, I need to go see him." " Deniz, for God's sake!" "We will pack up and leave together then." "Deniz, please calm down." " Where are the keys?" " Over there!" "We'll go together in the morning." "What are you going to do?" "I need to see him." "Just one last time." "It's not a game." "Our condolences." "So, we buried the king." "FOR IN THIS SLEEP OF DEATH WHAT DREAMS MAY COME." " Deniz, don't!" " Let her go." "Do you know what I've been thinking, Kostya?" "It doesn't matter if we act on stage or write." "What matters is..." " I'm sorry." " You can start over." "Have some water." " No, thanks." "Do you know what I've been thinking?" "It doesn't matter if we act on stage or write." "What matters is... to achieve the things I once dreamed of..." "You may leave." "Is there a reason why you chose that dress?" "It was my mother's..." "Did you prepare anything else?" "Maybe something more contemporary." "Could be a local writer or a poem." "Yes something called "The Keys"." "Okay, go on, do that." "There is a baby trapped inside a drawer." "Crying." "Waiting to reveal all." "Someone who is cursed." "Silent for thousands of years." "Some people call me God's lamb." "Created to cover the king's shame." "A mermaid with snakes in her hair." "Maybe a starving stray dog." "Maybe a wounded gazelle." "Perhaps a fox..." "These words are not mine." "The one burned by demons, cursed by kings." "No, no." "I'm just lying." "I just write and play." "Can you hear it?" "Listen closely." "Isn't that everyone's favorite melody?" "What about that soothing smell?" "Don't you believe in the tale of the curvy mermaid with snakes in her hair." "I don't know what I am and what I shall become." "I'll tell you everything once again when I have my own language."