"Mrs. Dimitri has asked a lot of questions about my wife." "She even wants to meet her." "It would not be a good idea." "Lieutenant, you have to come with me right away." "It's your wife, they've taken her to the hospital." "What?" "NARRATOR:" "Tonight, on Columbo." "We could go back to my place." "Not your place, not your bed, Leland." "Well, maybe she just got tired of her husband hitting on her best friend." "She never knew about that, I swear to God." "Unless you told her." "Do you think I killed him?" "Oh, no, ma'am." "No." "PRIEST:" "I am the Resurrection and the life." "The man who believes in me will live, even if he dies." "And every living person who puts faith in me will never suffer eternal death." "Lord, you wept at the death of Lazarus, your friend." "Comfort us in our sorrow." "We ask this in faith." "ALL:" "Lord, hear our prayer." "PRIEST:" "You raise the dead to life." "Give our sister eternal life." "We ask this in faith." "ALL:" "Lord, hear our prayer." "Bring our sister to the joys of heaven." "ALL:" "Lord, hear our prayer." "PRIEST:" "Our sister was washed clean in baptism and anointed with the oil of salvation." "Give her fellowship with all your saints." "We ask this in faith..." "VIVIAN:" "Why don't you cry?" "Damn it." "I cried." "Oh, yes, Lieutenant, I could give you lessons on that." "Don't you understand?" "Hasn't it hit you yet?" "Your precious wife is gone for good." "Dead and gone." "And, oh, how I've waited and prayed for this moment." "Don't worry, my dear friend." "You'll be joining her soon enough, but not until you've felt the pain, the way I did." "I'm entitled to that much." "You don't know what happened, do you?" "But you'll know soon enough because I'm going to tell you when it's too late for you to do anything about it." "You're stupid, Columbo, just like Charlie was." "Poor Charlton, he never saw it coming." "VIVIAN:" "I realize the master suite isn't too big." "But the builder says the wall to the adjoining guest room could be knocked down and the rooms combined." "Not too big?" "Ma'am, back in Virginia, we had a stable smaller than that bathroom." "George, you make it sound like we lived in a shack." "I'm beginning to think we did." "Don't misunderstand, Mrs. Dimitri." "Oh, the house is gorgeous..." "Isn't it?" "I knew you'd love it, even if it's a hair above your limit." "You've got that right, little lady." "Look, ma'am, back in Warrenton, we had ourselves a real fine place on 50 prime acres." "Sold it for 1.1 million." "Now, I come out here, and you show me this house for 6 million." "Look, Mr. Thornwood, I'm gonna be honest with you." "There are a couple of properties I could have shown you that go for as little as, say," "3.5, 4 million." "But you wouldn't have been happy with either the house or the neighborhood." "Try me." "George, don't be such a bore." "It took you nine years to get out of that dreadful city and we are not going back." "(PHONE RINGING)" "DEDE:" "Good afternoon." "Charlton Chambers Real Estate." "VIVIAN:" "Hi, Dede, is he there?" "Oh, hi, Mrs. Dimitri." "He's got Abe with him." "Put me through." "I'm gonna make his day." "Oh, I hope so." "He just finished spending an hour with Mr. Connolly and his lawyer." "Hang on." "Look at these, Abe, you're making this house look like a dump." "It is a dump." "You ever seen it?" "Look, I want low-angle shots." "Make the place look bigger, you know." "And I don't wanna see the place next door." "I don't have that listed." "Also, I want the flower garden in the foreground." "Give me lots of color!" "Make the place look like San Simeon." "Hey, I'm good, but I don't work miracles." "(INTERCOM BUZZING) Oh." "Yeah, Dede?" "Mrs. Dimitri on line one, sir." "She says it's muy importante." "I'll take it." "I wanna see a new set first thing tomorrow." "You want me to shoot in the dark?" "Don't argue with me, Abe, just do it, do it." "Hi, babe, what's up?" "My income, last time I looked." "I just unloaded the Smith place to a couple of tourists from back East." "(CHUCKLING) That white elephant?" "What did you get?" "4.5?" "5?" "5.7, in writing, with a binder for $250,000." "(CHUCKLES)" "Vivian, I knew the day I hired you, you were a born thief." "Well, I learned from the master." "Look, Charlie, there's some contingencies in this deal that I need to discuss with you, but I am wiped out right now." "Suppose we get together this evening and go over them, say, 7:30 at the office?" "7:30?" "It's Friday night, babe." "Everybody's out of here by 6:00." "Besides, there's a game at the sports arena." "Look, I've been running on adrenaline fumes since Tuesday afternoon." "I need a nap and a bath before my wheels come off." "Sure, Vivian, whatever you say. 7:30." "Incidentally, what's new at Falcon Ridge?" "Been served with any subpoenas lately?" "You got a very macabre sense of humor, you know that?" "Dede says that Mitchell Connolly burst into the office again." "This time with a lawyer?" "Don't worry about Connolly and those other crybabies." "They'll fade away, they always do." "Especially that ape, Connolly." "See you tonight, kid." "Bye, Charlie." "(ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Vivian, it's Dr. Steadman." "I was concerned when I didn't hear from you last week." "I hope everything's all right." "I know how well you've been coping, but you're not superhuman." "I think you still need support, if not from me, then from a psychiatrist there in Los Angeles." "As I've told you, I'd be happy to recommend someone." "Give me a call when you get a chance, either here at the hospital or at my home." "You have both numbers." "(BEEPS)" "(PHONE BUZZING)" "Yes, Frances?" "It's your real estate woman on the phone, Mr. St. John." "Oh, thanks, I'll take it." "Vivian, I was just thinking about you." "I've been thinking about you all day long." "Am I gonna see you tonight?" "Of course." "Oh, I was afraid your wife might have changed her mind about her trip to Sacramento." "Elizabeth is pathologically dedicated to the plight of the condor." "Why, I don't know." "Damn bird's nothing but an overgrown vulture." "It deserves to be extinct." "Well, I have a few things to attend to, you know, in the office." "Suppose we make it 8:30." "Excellent." "I've discovered this wonderful little Italian restaurant in Venice." "Not in the mood." "We agreed on the Penthouse Cafe." "Besides, I'm feeling sentimental." "Humor me, Leland." "Oh, if only you weren't so damned persuasive." "Good!" "So we'll meet at 8:30, and over the vichyssoise, we can discuss real estate." "Of course, darling." "Until then." "Real estate." "(DIALING)" "WOMAN:" "Police headquarters." "Homicide Division." "Lieutenant Columbo, please." "I'm sorry, he's not in right now." "Is he still on his vacation?" "This is his dentist's office." "I understood he would be back today." "Well, he's back, but he doesn't report in until tomorrow morning." "I see." "Early tomorrow morning?" "Probably around 8:00." "I'm sure you can get him at home." "No, that's okay." "I'll call back tomorrow." "Thank you." "Watch the lane, you dummy!" "Oh, beautiful!" "Give him a free shot." "Oh!" "Why don't we give him two free shots?" "Losing another one, Charlie?" "(CHUCKLING) Matter of fact, I'm up by 7." "I just like the aggravation." "Anyway, with these guys, 7 points is nothing." "How about a drink?" "Sure." "Rum and Coke, for old time's sake." "Oh, you look pretty sharp, Viv." "You got a date?" "It's Friday night, Charlie." "Mind if I turn that thing off?" "I like to hear myself think." "Sure, go ahead." "Rum and Coke, huh?" "Mmm-hmm." "I haven't seen you drink one of these things since 10 years ago when you and Pete, and me and Rita were hitting some of the high spots." "Some that weren't so high, right, Viv?" "I remember some of those dives you used to love to hang out in." "(CHUCKLES) Is that why Rita finally gave up on you?" "She couldn't stand the atmosphere?" "Or maybe she just got tired of her husband hitting on her best friend." "She never knew about that, swear to God." "Unless you told her." "Me?" "What for?" "Well, maybe if I'd thought you were a problem but I never took you that seriously, Charlton." "You were all talk then." "Like now." "Nothing changes." "What are you doing, Viv?" "Biting the hand that feeds you?" "I don't deserve that crack." "I'm sorry, I forgot." "You're the guy who rescued me from the rubber room, brought me back to L.A." "Put me in a nice house, gave me a job." "Now that you mention it." "Ten years, a lot of water under the bridge." "Rita walks out on you," "Pete leaves me..." "I mean, not like he had a choice." "When the state slaps you with 10 to 20 for manslaughter, tosses you in San Quentin, you don't have a lot of options." "Now, don't torture yourself, Viv." "Those..." "That part of your life is done with." "Forget it." "Pete..." "What a trip, right, Charlie?" "The stock market went sour." "He couldn't pull back." "No, not Pete." "He had to dip into his client's account." "Because of me, he said." "He promised me nothing but the best and he wouldn't settle for less." "Too bad his head wasn't as big as his heart." "You know something, he might have gotten away with it." "You remember how later that year the market snapped back?" "He could have replaced his client's money, but he never got the chance." "Somebody called his boss, and told him what he was doing." "Yeah, somebody in his office." "Mmm-hmm." "Yeah." "That's right, Charlie." "Isn't that what we figured?" "Somebody from his office?" "He didn't know that when he killed that client, you know, you remember the guy who was threatening to go to the cops?" "Oh!" "He never should've killed that guy, Vivian." "He shouldn't have done a lot of things." "We all shouldn't have done a lot of things." "Pete did a lot of stupid things, Charlie." "But I loved him, and he loved me and what he did, he did for me." "Eight years he was locked up." "One or two more years and he would have been out of there." "That prison killed him." "(CHUCKLING)" "He had a heart attack." "I mean..." "You know the way he ate, he never exercised..." "He was killed by the prison, Charlie." "And the people who put him there." "That police lieutenant, you know the one, who hounded him and hounded him..." "Why don't we talk about this tomorrow?" "And the man who informed..." "That's where it all started, you know." "With him." "I mean, you do know, don't you, Charlie?" "Of course you do." "Because you're the one who made the phone call." "Who told you that?" "You knew what he was up against financially." "He even came to you and asked for help and you turned him down." "That was bad enough, but then you had to go and make the lousy phone call, all because you wanted to get in the sack with his wife and you figured you might have a better chance if he was sent off to prison." "You..." "You are nuts!" "Look, you been, you've been hitting the sauce, right?" "You go home and sleep it off, and tomorrow we can..." "No, Charlie." "You do nothing tomorrow." "Are you crazy?" "Put that gun away." "Do you know how long I've known about this?" "Ten years." "I didn't do anything because all I wanted was Pete out of there." "So I kept quiet." "No mess, no waves." "And after he died, it took me a year to snap back." "But now, Charlie, there's nothing left to keep you alive." "Vivian, I swear it wasn't me." "First you, then the cop." "See you in hell, Charlie." "(GRUNTING)" "(EXHALES)" "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "Darling, I am sorry I'm late." "Charlie and I got wrestling over a very difficult sale and I lost track of time." "How late am I?" "8:40." "Only 10 minutes late." "For you, that's a record." "The usual, madam?" "Scotch on the rocks with a twist?" "No, Carlos, I think I'll have a rum and Coke." "You've gotta be kidding." "WAITER:" "Oh, very good." "Call me quirky, but I'm celebrating a very big sale." "Leland, you are a lovely man and that is a very generous offer, but no, thanks." "You don't need Chambers." "What for?" "I'll supply the investment capital and you'll supply the expertise." "What will your wife think about that?" "What should she think?" "What we do is our business, on every level." "(EXHALES)" "No, I couldn't do that to Charlie." "He put me back on my feet when I needed it the most." "I owe him too much." "Oh yeah, what is it you owe him?" "I mean, you hint around a lot." "Am I missing something?" "Nothing that really concerns you." "You know, we've known each other, what, about six months, ever since you sold Elizabeth and me the house, but it occurs to me that I don't know the first thing about you." "Which is exactly how I intend to keep it." "Now, be a dear and order me a black coffee and some brandy while I powder my nose." "Waiter?" "Yes, sir?" "(DOOR CLOSING)" "(CLICKING)" "(ATM WHIRRING)" "Mmm." "I was beginning to worry about you." "Sorry, I got to chatting with this woman who almost listed her house with me seven months ago, and here it is, seven months later, and it's still not sold." "So, what's on the agenda?" "Well, we could go back to my place." "I've got this new tape of Sinatra oldies." "Not your place, not your bed, Leland." "You know how I feel about that." "Well, as a back-up, I did reserve this rather nice room at a motor inn in the Palisades." "(GLASSES CLINK)" "I'll follow you." "What time is it?" "(SIGHING)" "Almost 2:00." "Wonderful." "Hmm?" "Well, where are you going?" "Home." "Home?" "Mmm-hmm." "The night is young yet, darling." "Wrong, Leland." "Besides, I need my sleep." "And I'd really prefer not to be seen leaving here in the cold light of dawn." "It was lovely as always, darling." "(CHUCKLES)" "Almighty God, through the death of your Son on the cross, you have overcome death for us." "Through His burial and resurrection from the dead, you have made the grave a holy place and restored to us eternal life." "We pray for those who died believing in Jesus and are buried with Him in the hope of rising again." "DEDE:" "Look at that poor guy." "Like a zombie." "How come things like this happen to nice people?" "His wife must have been nice, too, the way he was always talking about her." "I can't believe he's a cop." "The first time I saw him, I thought he was a..." "I don't know, I wasn't sure what he was." "That was last Saturday morning after I found Charlton's body." "You sure you're all right, ma'am?" "(SNIFFLING) I'm fine, really." "Thank you, Sergeant." "Well, you just sit tight, okay?" "The lieutenant's gonna wanna ask you some more questions." "Right." "(CAMERA CLICKING)" "Well, what do you know about that?" "You got something, Lieutenant?" "This guy, Chambers, he must know everybody." "You know who this is?" "Grace Kelly." "This guy, Chambers, put his arm around Grace Kelly." "That's not Grace Kelly." "That's Kim Novak." "You sure?" "Sure, I'm sure." "Well, having your arm around Kim Novak, that's not bad either." "Listen, Kellerman, did you happen to notice that check on the desk there?" "Yeah, I know." "I saw that." "$250,000, and it said "deposit." Mmm-hmm." "Did I read that wrong?" "No, you read that right." "When I bought my house, you could buy the whole block for $250,000." "The whole block." "The world's going to hell with itself, you know that, don't you?" "I know that, Lieutenant." "Lieutenant, I found the guy's topcoat in the closet out there." "Did you find anything in the pockets?" "No, sir." "I mean, not much." "A pack of gum, nine cents, an old Kleenex, and this scrap of paper with a bunch of initials and numbers on it." ""KP-2-600, CL-," ""plus 6, 800..."" "What do you think?" "Some kind of combination or something?" "I don't know what it is." "BERNIE:" "Lieutenant, he's all yours." "Thank you, Bernie." "Hold onto this, Sergeant." "I'll look it over later when I got some more time." "All right." "(EXHALES)" "(RUSTLING)" "Uh, excuse me, ma'am." "I work here." "DEDE:" "It's all right, Sergeant." "Dede, what happened?" "A policeman outside told me Charlie is dead." "Somebody killed him." "What?" "Last night sometime." "Why?" "How?" "What, did somebody break in here?" "What, was it robbery?" "I don't know anything, Mrs. Dimitri." "I just found him, that's all." "(GASPING) Oh, God!" "Oh..." "Oh, Dede... (CRYING) Oh, my God, Dede, I should never have left him here by himself." "Oh..." "Uh, Ms. Perkins, may I see you a minute?" "(SOFTLY) Yeah." "(SNIFFLING)" "When you came in the office here this morning, ma'am, did you touch anything?" "No, sir." "It's just that all these drawers were shut tight except this one." "Could you tell me if something was missing?" "Well, I really couldn't say, Lieutenant, until I crosscheck with my own files." "Would you do that for me, ma'am?" "Certainly." "Do you think it was robbery?" "I don't know, ma'am." "I mean, it wasn't your normal robbery, if that's what you're talking about." "The man had his watch, his ring, and over $200 in his wallet." "Uh..." "Oh..." "Oh." "I'm sorry, ma'am." "I wasn't thinking." "I'll just cover him up." "Well, the coroner should be here any minute." "DEDE:" "Thank you." "I know that this is difficult for you, um..." "Do you know if he had any appointments last night, if he was expecting someone is what I mean..." "I may be the last person who saw him alive, Officer." "Ma'am?" "Mr. Chambers and I had a meeting here at 7:30 last night to go over the terms of an offer on a house that we represent." "Oh, then you're..." "Mrs. Dimitri?" "The salesperson?" "Vivian Dimitri, yes." "Lieutenant, if you don't mind, I'd just as soon wait outside." "Oh, certainly, ma'am." "Yes." "Go right ahead." "That's Lieutenant..." "Lieutenant Columbo, yes, ma'am, Homicide." "This is some house." "5.7 million?" "Is that what that says?" "That's right." "What kind of a house sells for 5.7 million?" "Must have a lot of bedrooms." "Yes." "Eight, I think." "What is it, some kind of mansion?" "Well, not exactly." "It needs a little work, but it's in the right neighborhood." "Needs work?" "You mean it's a fixer?" "Well, I wouldn't go that far." "About last night..." "Oh, excuse me, ma'am..." "Officer, do we have some kind of paper around here, this morning's paper?" "Well, I don't know, sir." "I haven't seen one." "Well, see if you can find one." "Which paper do you want, sir?" "Any paper." "Whatever you can find." "Uh..." "What was I saying?" "Where were we?" "About last night..." "Oh, right." "Last night." "Was anybody else here with you, ma'am?" "Besides Charlie?" "No, we were alone." "Friday night." "Fridays we close at 6:00." "Except last night, you came back to go over these papers." "For a commission like this, I'd come back at midnight and stay till Halloween." "And how long did you stay, Mrs., um..." "Dimitri." "Uh, Mrs. Dimitri." "Forty-five minutes." "And I assure you, Lieutenant, when I left, Mr. Chambers was alive and well." "So you left around 8:15." "I guess so, give or take five minutes." "And when you left, Mr. Chambers was still here working?" "Yes." "And when you left, ma'am, did you lock up?" "No." "I assumed Charlie would do that when he left." "Why?" "Well, somebody came in after you left, ma'am." "And if the door was locked, Mr. Chambers would have had to have gone to the door to let them in." "But if it was already open, anybody could have walked in and surprised him." "Oh." "I see." "Of course." "Would you mind telling me, ma'am, after you left, where did you go?" "Why?" "Is that important?" "Well, probably not, but I'd like to keep things neat." "I told you, Lieutenant, he was alive when I left." "I mean, where I went is really immaterial." "Possibly so, ma'am." "I went home, Lieutenant." "To a cold supper, a hot tub and bed." "I see." "And would your husband be able to verify that, ma'am?" "I'm a widow." "I live alone." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I didn't realize..." "When you said "Mrs.," I just assumed..." "Okay, well, never mind about that." "So you went home and you went to bed, and you stayed home the rest of the night, is that right?" "That's right." "Lieutenant, why are you asking me all these questions about my whereabouts?" "Do you think I killed him?" "Oh, no, ma'am, no, no, no, nothing like that." "It's just that..." "You see, we found his wallet and it had over $200 in it." "Ten $20 bills and this receipt from one of those automatic tellers." "You see, this is it, here." "You see the date, that's last night, and the time he withdrew the cash," "9:45." "Very strange." "Oh, no, not if you knew Charlie." "He hated walking around without cash in his pockets." "He grew up poor." "He used to tell me that money made him feel secure." "So he left the office, withdrew some cash, then he came back to the office, and then somebody came in." "Hmm." "Yeah." "Lieutenant?" "Oh, what do you say, fellas?" "Whenever you're through with him." "I'm all done." "You can take him." "We'll get out of your hair." "Why don't we go out there?" "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "Poor kid, I feel sorry for her." "Yeah." "She and Charlie were really close." "He was like a kind of uncle to her." "Well, it's too bad she had to find him like that, ma'am, instead of you." "Oh, she happened to mention that you usually come in early on Saturday to get organized, set up appointments, 7:00, 7:30." "Well, I usually do." "(SIGHING) But yesterday was a very tough day, I just overslept." "I was so tired I even forgot to set my alarm." "Oh, perfectly understandable, ma'am." "I'm just gonna look around a little bit more." "It was very nice meeting you." "Oh, excuse me." "Lieutenant," "(VIVIAN SIGHS) Here's your newspaper." "COLUMBO:" "Oh." "Yeah, okay..." "Oh." "Okay." "Yeah." "The paper?" "The paper?" "The little sheet of paper, the scrap of paper." "Yes, sir." "Here." "Okay." ""8, A..."" ""8, A..." Uh-huh." ""A, M..."" "Uh-huh." "Hmm." "You got something, sir?" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, I got something." "Two hundred plus three-and-a-half." "Yeah." "Two hundred over." "Right." "Right." "(SIREN WAILING)" "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "Excuse me." "Can I help you, Mac?" "I certainly hope so." "This man..." "Have you ever seen him before?" "Sorry, I can't say that I have." "I think it would help, sir, if you looked at the picture." "I don't need to look at it." "We get a lot of people in here and I got a lousy memory." "Morning, Claude." "Morning, Cleo." "Yes, I can see that you get a lot of transients." "Lieutenant Columbo, from the police." "We gave at the office." "Come again?" "Mr. Schneider, the owner, he acknowledged that everything's been taken care of." "Been taken care of, Lieutenant." "Oh, you mean..." "No, I didn't come about that." "Oh, come on, when are you guys gonna quit?" "People come here for a good time, okay?" "You got something against a good time?" "CLAUDE:" "Or maybe you're looking for a little something on the side." "You wanna get fixed up, is that it?" "You guys are something else." "That guy, what's that guy's name?" "You mean Joe?" "Say, Lieutenant, whatever you wanna do about Joe," "I couldn't care less." "The guy's a swift pain in the butt." "He's always tying up my phone." "If you ask me, he gives this place a bad name." "Right." "Thank you very much." "Excuse me." "Joe?" "Yeah, I'm Joe." "Who are you?" "I'm a friend of Charlton's." "Charlton Chambers, the real estate man." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "Sure, sure." "What can I do for you?" "You wanna get something down?" "Me?" "No, thanks." "I never bet." "Maybe once a month, the lottery." "If you don't bet, what do you want to see me for?" "I wanna ask you a few questions." "Questions?" "What did you say your name was?" "Columbo." "Lieutenant Columbo." "And I wanna talk to you about this." "VIVIAN:" "Oh, Lieutenant." "Good morning." "Good morning." "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" "It's gorgeous." "I was just doing some gardening." "Is there something I can help you with?" "Oh, nothing important." "Just a few questions." "Go right ahead." "I'll just tag along." "Are you sure?" "I..." "This can wait." "No, I love flowers." "So does my wife." "She's crazy about 'em." "Does she have a garden?" "Well, you couldn't actually call it that." "Nothing like this." "More like a flower bed." "Actually, if you wanna know the truth, she's got a dead thumb." "A what?" "A dead thumb." "That's like a green thumb, only the other way around." "Everything she plants, dies." "(CHUCKLING) Oh, dear." "So what happens is, she goes out and buys a lot of flowers." "Hey, that's okay." "Some women like furs and jewels, my wife likes flowers." "Well, she sounds like a very nice woman." "Oh, yes, ma'am." "How long you been married?" "Uh, let's see, 28 years next January." "Or is it 29?" "I know it's not 30." "That one I'd remember." "And I'm sure you love her very much." "Oh, that I do, ma'am." "That I do." "I wouldn't know what to do without her." "So, Lieutenant, you said you had questions." "Would they have anything to do with that other policeman who was canvassing the neighborhood asking questions about me?" "Yes, ma'am, it does." "I have a problem, here's what it is." "You said you left the office, the night Mr. Chambers was killed, around 8:15, went straight home." "The Medical Examiner can only guess at the actual time of death." "After 10, 12 hours, gets a little hard to be specific, but, because we know that Mr. Chambers made the bank withdrawal, his death had to have occurred sometime after 9:45..." "Probably closer to 10:00, 10:30." "The Medical Examiner said it couldn't have been any later than that." "What's your point, Lieutenant?" "Well, ma'am, it's just that if you were home, that'd be fine, but the thing is, we can't find anybody who actually saw you come home at the time that you said," "or could even verify that you were home." "You think I killed Charlie?" "Oh, no, no, it's just procedure, ma'am." "We have to check out the people that were closest to the victims." "The wife, the in-laws, and the friends." "And it's my impression that you were as close to Mr. Chambers as anybody." "Lieutenant, I did not kill the man." "I had no reason to kill the man." "I was home that night by 8:30 or so, no matter what my neighbors may say." "I'm sure you're right, ma'am." "I just wish I could verify it for the record." "Look, I came home," "I put my car in the garage, I went in the house," "I turned out all the lights and I fell in bed." "Naturally, they may have thought I wasn't home." "Turned out the lights and went to sleep?" "Oh, there's something off, here." "Hold the phone, ma'am!" "Here's what I wrote down." ""Mrs. Dimitri said," ""I went home to a cold supper, a hot tub and then bed."" "You must have written it down wrong." "No, ma'am." "No." "No, I don't think I did." "Look, what difference does it make?" "I don't spend my evenings looking out my window, spying on my neighbors." "I could have been standing buck naked in front of a living room window, and that doesn't mean somebody had to see me." "Yes, ma'am, but there's something else." "You said you put your car in your garage, but actually, we found a couple of people, early morning joggers, your paper boy, who saw your car in the driveway that morning." "Not in the garage." "And nobody saw it in the driveway that night, not at 9:00 or 10:00, or even midnight." "Do you see my problem?" "(SIGHING) Oh, God!" "Ma'am?" "I can't tell you." "I can't do this to him." "Do what to whom?" "Ma'am, if you could shed any light on this, I wish you'd do so." "Okay, Lieutenant," "I didn't come straight home that night." "I went out to dinner with someone." "A man I know." "Do we have to drag him into this?" "I have to get things straight, ma'am, for the record." "How long did this dinner take?" "About an hour and a half." "I see." "That would make it around 10:00." "And then we went to a hotel together." "Oh..." "I see." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "All right, hotel..." "And we were together until about 2:00 a.m." "Is there anything else you need to know, Lieutenant?" "No, ma'am." "I get the picture." "I mean..." "Oh, yes, there is one more thing." "The man's name." "(SIGHS)" "Please, Lieutenant." "(STAMMERING) He's a married man." "It'd be terrible if this came out." "I appreciate that and I don't want to cause anybody any trouble." "But I have to have the man's name." "(SIGHS)" "PRIEST:" "Father, God of all consolation, in your unending love and mercy for us you turn the darkness of death into the dawn of new life." "Show compassion to your people in their sorrow." "Be our refuge and our strength to lift us from the darkness of this grief..." "LELAND:" "God, will this thing ever end?" "I can't believe I'm standing here." "I hardly know the man, and I certainly don't like him very much." "I wonder why he asked me to come." "Maybe it was Vivian's idea." "Lord knows why." "Hello?" "Vivian?" "LELAND:" "Over here, love." "Why don't you look at me?" "Can't meet my eyes, can you?" "No, I daresay you can't." "I suppose you're proud of yourself." "Elizabeth is a phone call away from filing for divorce because you couldn't keep your bloody mouth shut." "Oh, indeed, that was a morning to remember." "Yeah!" "Oh, nice, Leland, what's your handicap?" "Twenty going on six?" "That's 50 more and don't whine." "Nobody likes a crybaby, Jerry." "All right, double or nothing on the next one." "JERRY: (CHUCKLING) Who's this, a friend of yours or a process server?" "COLUMBO:" "Excuse me." "Mr. St. John?" "Yes?" "I'm sorry to trouble you, sir, but I need a few minutes of your time." "Oh, can't this wait?" "I'm scheduled to tee off in 12 minutes." "I wish it could, sir." "Look, if it's about some traffic violation..." "Uh..." "It concerns a homicide, sir." "MAN ON P. A:" "Mr. Clay, please report to the pro shop." "See you on the tee, Jerry." "Do pick up your feet, Officer." "You really shouldn't be walking on a green in those shoes." "Come on." "Come on, come over here." "Oh!" "I'm sorry." "Come along." "Now, what's all this all about, um..." "Columbo." "Lieutenant Columbo." "Mmm." "Sir, would you mind telling me your whereabouts last Friday night, say from about 8:30 to 2:30?" "Yes, I would." "It's none of your business." "That is, unless you suspect me of killing someone?" "Uh, no, sir, I don't." "But I do need it to verify an alibi." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Vivian Dimitri?" "You think she killed Charlton Chambers?" "That's impossible." "Does that mean that you were with the lady?" "I don't think I care to answer that." "I think you just did, but I need it for the record." "Lieutenant, you're putting me in a very difficult position." "I'm a married man and my wife's sense of charity does not extend beyond an annual donation to the United Way." "But this is just routine, sir." "It's for my information only." "(WHISPERING) It doesn't even have to go into the report." "MAN ON P. A:" "Mr. St John, your group's up next." "Mrs. Dimitri joined me for dinner at 8:30." "We spent the remainder of the evening at a hotel." "She left sometime after 2:00 a.m." "Does that satisfy you?" "Perfectly, sir." "Thank you very much." "Except..." "Except what?" "From 8:30 until she left, was there a time when she was ever out of your sight?" "No." "Never?" "I just told you that." "Wow, that lady must have some constitution." "I know my wife, she can't go anywhere, especially to dinner..." "MAN ON P. A:" "Last call for the Leland group." "...without at least once going to the ladies'..." "Lieutenant..." "Lieutenant, a lady's right to go to the powder room is a given." "But I can assure you she wasn't away for more than five or six minutes." "Now, will you excuse me?" "Absolutely, sir, and thank you very much." "Thank you very much." "Bye." "MAN ON P. A:" "Mr. St. John, your group is waiting on the tee." "Uh, excuse me, sir, just one more thing, this restaurant... (SHUSHING) I think she said the Penthouse Cafe, was that your idea?" "It was a very special place for both of us." "Frankly, I was tired of the food but Vivian was a sentimentalist and insisted." "Anything else?" "No?" "Good." "If you think of anything else, call me tomorrow at the office." "Right now, I'm gonna play some golf." "Yes, sir." "And have a good game." "And thank you very much." "MAN ON P. A:" "We need a caddie on the first tee." "You're eating kind of late today, Lieutenant." "It's been that kind of day, Gracie." "Hmm." "Let me know if you see anything moving around in that chili." "It's from Wednesday." "Just the way I like it." "Lieutenant." "Oh, hiya, Brady." "Sir, we've got our break on the Chambers killing." "No kidding." "Sit down." "Have you had lunch yet?" "Uh, no, sir." "This place makes the greatest chili." "It's simply fantastic." "I can smell it from here." "I'll order you a bowl." "No thanks, sir." "I'm on kind of a diet." "Lieutenant, you know about the missing files?" "Oh, right." "All six belong to families that bought houses in that new development." "Falcon Ridge." "Falcon Ridge." "And some of them are suing because of breach of contract?" "Something like that?" "Well, they were trying, but they weren't getting very far." "Sir, they found the murder weapon in an empty lot up at Falcon Ridge." "Yeah?" "Ballistics matched it to the gun that killed Chambers." "Well, I wouldn't be that much surprised." "Well, it looks to me like we've got it narrowed down to a member of one of those six families." "Now, I've had a couple of guys taking statements, and so far, it looks pretty good." "Um..." "The Devereauxs, home all night watching television." "Husband and wife alibi each other." "Convenient, huh?" "Then there's Amanda Bristol, divorced, worked until 8:00, arrived home at 8:30." "And then there's this guy, Connolly, the neighborhood rabble-rouser..." "Yeah, right, Brady." "You're on the ball." "I like that." "All terrific." "But you're climbing the wrong ladder." "This stuff is terrible." "Sir?" "They've changed the recipe for the chili." "Gracie, what happened?" "You lost your chef?" "Chef?" "Ramon, the big guy." "He had one brown eye, one blue." "He went back to Mazatlán two months ago." "We got a new guy back there, Heinrich." "Heinrich?" "You got a guy named Heinrich to make chili?" "Keep the change." "Here." "Come on, Brady, I gotta walk this stuff off." "Thanks, Lieutenant." "My wife told me that, that stuff was gonna kill me someday." "I think she was right." "Sir, about those people up on Falcon Ridge." "None of those people killed Mr. Chambers." "They didn't?" "You know the piece of paper that you found in Mr. Chamber's coat and it had numbers and letters on it?" "Those were basketball bets." "No kidding." "Yeah." ""K-P," Knicks, Pistons." ""C-L," Celtics, Lakers." ""600, 800," the amount he bet." "Now, what did we find in the victim's coat jacket?" "An envelope." "With $1,400 in it." "Right?" "Like this one?" "Alden Hotel, right?" "Yes, sir." "Now, do you know what this is?" "This was the payoff from the bookie." "The bookie works out of the hotel lobby." "Now, at 7:00, the night Mr. Chamber's was killed, he goes, he collects from this guy, and then he goes back to his office." "You follow me?" "Yes." "Now, let me ask you something." "You're a guy with $1,400 cash in your pocket." "How come you suddenly leave your office at 9:30, go to an automatic teller and pick up another $200?" "Doesn't make any sense." "It makes sense, all right, if you're a killer trying to establish a phony time of death." "Chambers didn't make that withdrawal, the killer did, to make it look like Chambers was still alive at 9:45." "That means he died earlier." "Much earlier." "The Medical Examiner says it could have been as early as 7:30, 8:00." "But he was with Mrs. Dimitri until quarter past 8:00." "You know what I think?" "I think I gotta get something to wash out the taste of that chili." "You want ice cream?" "No, thanks." "As soon as I saw the money, I said to myself," ""This is a put-up job." ""Somebody's trying to hide the time of death, and why?"" "And as sure as Santa Claus wears red BVDs," "I know somebody will have an alibi you can't break with a sledgehammer." "Mrs. Dimitri." "I want one of those orange pops." "I'll tell you something else that's interesting, Mr. Brady." "That withdrawal." "That was made from a teller machine in the lobby of the Plaza Building." "That's the same building that the lady had dinner with her boyfriend from 8:30 till just past 10:00." "Now, just before they leave, the lady goes to the powder room." "You figure it out." "Lieutenant, that's great!" "We've got her." "Got her?" "How do you figure that?" "No, all I got is a theory and a set of circumstances." "What I don't have is anything the DA can bring to the grand jury." "Oh!" "Lieutenant?" "Oh, it's all right." "It's just this tooth." "I gotta have it looked at." "Whenever I get anything cold on it..." "Oh, that's another thing." "My dentist." "Sir?" "Before my wife and I came back from the vacation," "I got a couple of calls from my dentist's assistant." "They wanted to set up an appointment for me to come in and clean my teeth." "Yeah." "My dentist does that all the time." "But you have a dentist, Mr. Brady." "I don't have one." "Mine moved to Florida four months ago." "I never got a new one." "So somebody, and I'm pretty sure it's Vivian Dimitri, was very anxious to know when I was going back to work." "And now, all I gotta do is figure out why." "Since Almighty God has called our sister from this life to himself, we commit her body to the earth from which it was made." "Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust." "VIVIAN:" "Now there are two of them in the ground, Columbo." "Your wife, my husband." "It's been fun watching him fumble around, chasing down blind alleys." "I was afraid for a while he wasn't gonna figure out who I was, so I made sure he did." "When the time comes, I want him to know exactly what's happening to him." "Who killed his wife and why." "Just before I kill him." "It was a private ceremony." "Cremation." "Charlie wanted it that way." "No, I never did hear from his ex-wife." "I don't expect I will, either." "Well, for the time being I'm running the office." "His lawyer asked me to do it." "(KNOCKS ON DOOR)" "Look, Sid, I've gotta run." "Try and get that escrow into high gear for me, will you?" "Thanks." "Talk to you soon." "I hope you don't mind, ma'am." "Ms. Perkins wasn't at her desk." "Oh, I've got her down at the bank getting some loan documents." "Things are a little bit crazy around here right now." "Yes, I can see that." "Have you found out yet who killed Charlie?" "No, ma'am, but we're getting close." "You and Ms. Perkins, you've been a big help." "You know those people up at Falcon Ridge?" "Those people are very angry." "Just between you and me, Lieutenant, I would be very angry, too if I'd bought one of those houses." "I asked about Falcon Ridge because we found what we think is the murder weapon." "Tossed away in a vacant lot." "I see." "Have you narrowed down your suspects to anyone in particular?" "Because, you know, I've done some business with those people, and maybe I could give you some insight into how they think." "Maybe something they said in the office." "In anger." "Well, thank you very, very much, but right now we're just checking alibis for the time of the murder." "You'd be surprised how many married couples claim they were home together watching TV." "You try to prove that otherwise." "It's not easy." "I don't imagine it is, Lieutenant." "Is there something else?" "No, ma'am." "Well, actually, that's not true." "I came by to extend my belated condolences on the death of your husband." "My husband?" "Pete Garabaldi." "He was your husband, wasn't he?" "When I went through Mr. Chambers' personal effects at his house," "I found a lot of photos like this one." "Your hair's a lot different but I'm pretty sure that's you." "Yeah, it's me, all right, Lieutenant." "I was wondering how long it was gonna take you to recognize me." "You know what threw me off?" "In those days your name was" "Ann, Annie, Annie..." "Annette." "Annette Garabaldi." "When I came back to L.A.," "I asked Charlie if he'd mind if I used my maiden name and my middle name." "I'd made a clean break with the past." "I wanted to keep it that way." "Well, that's perfectly understandable, ma'am." "And like I said," "I was very sorry when I heard about his death." "Heart attack, wasn't it?" "Pete never took very good care of himself." "Too many calories, too many cigarettes." "(SIGHS)" "I doubt if the prison had much to do with it." "Well, thank you for saying that, ma'am." "Even though I arrested him, I liked your husband." "I think he was a decent guy." "He just got in over his head and he did some stupid things." "Yeah." "Uh..." "You were living up there, weren't you, ma'am?" "Near the prison?" "Yeah." "Just outside of San Francisco." "I used to visit him every time I got a chance." "You were under a doctor's care, then." "A Dr. Steadman, is that right?" "Who told you about that?" "It was in your personnel file." "We checked that." "It's just routine." "Of course." "Anyway, time has a way of healing all wounds." "Last year one morning, I woke up and I realized it was time for me to get on with my life." "Pete Garabaldi was dead, so I killed Annette." "That's when I called my old friend Charlton Chambers and asked him for his help." "God." "Charlie was great." "He just..." "He didn't hesitate at all." "He was so supportive over this last year." "He was always there for me." "I'm really sorry that I never got a chance to say thank you." "Well, isn't that part of life, too, ma'am?" "Missed opportunities." "Why is it that we never appreciate our loved ones until it's too late?" "That can't be true about you and your wife." "I mean, the way you talk about that woman, she must realize how devoted you are to her." "Well, I try." "We never had children, I'm sorry to say, but we had each other." "And I suppose that makes me a very lucky man." "I'd love to meet her." "The missus?" "Mmm-hmm." "Yeah?" "Well, why not?" "Sounds like a great idea if I could ever get it together." "This woman's schedule, I mean, you wouldn't believe it." "It's between the church and between volunteering at the hospital and watching her sister Ruth's kids, walks the dog five times a day..." "How about dinner one evening?" "Why don't I talk to her about it?" "Uh..." "Oh, gee, here I am, I'm taking up all your time." "Don't be silly." "No, no." "No, you're busy and so am I." "Anyway, I gotta get down to headquarters." "Help trace the ownership of that gun." "So far, it's a dead end." "It wasn't registered?" "No, ma'am." "Cold as an ice cube." "Again, my sincerest condolences at the loss of your husband." "Thank you very much, Lieutenant, that's very kind." "And as far as your invitation is concerned," "I think I'm gonna take you up on that." "To chat about those people up at Falcon Ridge." "Between you and me," "I think one of them killed Mr. Chambers." "There's no question in my mind." "And I just want you to know that I'm not gonna rest until I find the one that did it." "Maybe that's the least the both of us can do." "Anytime." "Right." "(SIGHS)" "What the hell is this, anyway?" "Am I under arrest or what?" "COLUMBO:" "No, sir." "Would you like to sit down, Mr. Connolly?" "I just want to ask you a few questions." "You could have asked me the questions at my house, without dragging me down here with the neighbors looking on." "That was necessary." "I want my lawyer." "You won't need him." "I'm not accusing you of anything." "That sergeant tells me that a gun was found in the empty lot next to my house." "And you say you're not accusing me of something?" "Is this more or less the statement that you made to Sergeant Brady concerning your activities on the night Mr. Chambers died?" "This is it." "Why?" "You want it notarized?" "Sir," "I'm not the one who's dinner's getting cold." "If you'll just answer a couple of questions, you're free to go." "(SIGHS)" "COLUMBO:" "Thank you very much." "It says here you went to bed around 12:30." "That's right." "Did you sleep soundly, sir, or did you happen to wake up at any time during the night?" "I slept like a log." "I usually do." "Your bedroom faces that vacant lot." "Is it possible that you noticed a car outside, say, around 2:30, 3:00?" "My eyes were closed, I was probably snoring." "No, Lieutenant, I didn't notice." "You're sure about this?" "Yes!" "I am sure." "Okay, Mr. Connolly, you're free to go." "Thank you very much." "That is it?" "You brought me all the way down here for that?" "If I need anything else, I'll call you, sir." "Oh, you do that!" "The officer outside will drive you home." "Thanks." "When you picked him up, the neighbors noticed?" "Two squad cars, flashing lights." "I did everything but throw the cuffs on him." "Yeah, they noticed, Lieutenant." "So what now?" "The lady has dropped a trail of crumbs leading right to Mr. Connolly's doorstep." "The least I can do is oblige." "But my gut tells me there's more to it, Mr. Brady." "A lot more." "(SAD COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "VIVIAN ON ANSWERING MACHINE:" "Hello." "Sorry, I'm not in to answer the phone." "Leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you." "(BEEPS)" "LELAND:" "Vivian, pick up the phone." "I know you're there." "I need to talk to you." "Damn it, Vivian, do I have to come around and pound on your door?" "You know I will." "I need to speak to you." "Now, please pick up." "Go away, Leland." "LELAND:" "There you are." "I don't want to speak to you." "Oh, but you had no problem speaking to the police lieutenant, did you?" "VIVIAN:" "Well, I didn't really have a choice." "Leland, I'm very tired and..." "Please be quiet for a minute." "She knows, Vivian." "Elizabeth knows." "She confronted me." "What did you tell her?" "What could I?" "I tried to minimize it." "Said I'd been drinking and it was a fleeting thing, totally unexpected." "Oh, Leland, darling, you are such an accomplished liar." "Oh, am I?" "Maybe that's why she's walked out on me." "Vivian, you've gotta talk to her, you've gotta back me on this." "On what?" "My darling, you know how I feel about you." "I am deeply and desperately in love with you and that is exactly what I plan to tell her if she phones me." "Please don't call again." "(DIAL TONE)" "(ROMANTIC LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING)" "Pete." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "VIVIAN:" "Oh, Lieutenant, good morning." "Oh, good morning, ma'am." "I tried the front door." "Maybe you didn't hear the bell." "That bell hasn't worked since I moved in here." "Never seem to have time to get it fixed." "Please, come on in." "Thank you." "I won't take up much of your time." "Oh, don't be silly." "I was just having some breakfast." "Will you join me?" "Oh, no, thank you very much, ma'am." "I already ate." "How about some coffee, then?" "Actually, that sounds pretty good." "Sit down." "So, you're up and about pretty early this morning." "Yeah, I've been going since 6:00." "You gotta stay on top of these things." "You see, the more time that passes, the colder the trail gets." "And believe me, this trail is getting very cold, very fast." "Yesterday, I spent the day talking to those people at Falcon Ridge." "Oh, yes." "I heard you brought Mitchell Connolly in for questioning." "The man has quite a temper." "About a week ago, he stormed into the office." "I thought he was gonna kill Charlie." "That's a terrible thing to say." "Well, he wasn't too happy with me, either." "When I asked him about Friday night, he said he was home alone while his wife was out playing mahjong until around midnight." "Well if I was married to Mitchell Connolly, I would be out all night, too." "Her problem is she didn't divorce him years ago, when they lived in Reno." "(SIGHS)" "Some women are gluttons for punishment." "Here." "English muffin." "Try it." "Oh, no, really." "Thank you." "No, it's delicious with this lemon marmalade." "Lemon marmalade?" "Mmm-hmm." "Oh, I thought they made this with oranges." "Oh, they do." "And lemons, too." "It's English, it's very, very good." "You know who would love this?" "My wife." "That woman is crazy about marmalade." "Me, I can't stand the stuff." "Got too many bumps in it." "I like that nice raspberry jam, maybe boysenberry." "Well, your wife is a very discerning woman." "Here, have a bite." "Oh, no." "Thanks anyhow." "About this Connolly guy, I was wondering, maybe you could help me." "Maybe there's something in that missing file that could be a lead." "Not that I know of." "Actually, it was Charlie's sale." "I only know about Connolly by reputation." "See what I mean?" "Blank walls." "Well, I won't be bothering you anymore, ma'am." "Thank you very much." "Okay, I gotta go back up to Falcon Ridge, see whether I can put this together." "Lieutenant." "When do I get to meet your wonderful wife?" "Oh, I'm working on that." "Why do I have a hard time believing you?" "Look, I would love to call her personally, but your phone number's not listed." "Ah, yes, ma'am." "Department policy." "For the same reason that the Motor Vehicle people won't give out a police officer's home address." "Too many fruitcakes running around." "But..." "I'll be in touch, I promise." "Meanwhile, I gotta get back to work." "Bye, Lieutenant." "VIVIAN:" "Call me." "(RADIO CHATTER)" "You find something, Lieutenant?" "Yeah." "A dime." "A dime?" "One of those old silver ones." "This is real silver." "Look at the date. 1959." "I bet you that's worth 40, maybe 50 cents." "Your lucky day." "If all I find is a dime, it is definitely not my lucky day." "Any more luck with those neighbors?" "A couple of them were out of town, the rest of them were asleep before midnight." "If you're right and Mrs. Dimitri did drive up here after she left Leland St. John, nobody saw her." "She drives up the street, she opens the window, she heaves out the gun." "She doesn't even have to get out of the car." "She's here 30 seconds, maybe a minute, tops, and she's gone without a trace." "Did you ever think, Lieutenant, that maybe you got it wrong?" "Maybe it wasn't her?" "Maybe it was one of these people up here?" "No, Sergeant, I never thought that." "Did I tell you I talked to the security guy?" "What security guy?" "A private company." "The guy cruises around every night, checking things out." "On the night of the murder, he drives by the real estate agency at 10:00 and at 2:00." "That's his schedule." "He see anything?" "Not a thing." "The office is quiet and dark." "So?" "So when Dede Perkins, the receptionist, finds Mr. Chambers dead the following morning, the lights are on, three lamps, two overheads." "That's right." "Which is how it should have been if somebody from the outside came in, confronted Chambers, shot him, rifled the files and ran out." "A person in that kind of hurry would not stop and turn off the lights." "Makes sense to me." "I asked the security guy, I said," ""What if you'd come by and the lights were on?"" ""What would you have done?"" "He said, "I'd do what I always do that late at night." ""I'd go inside and check."" "I get it." "So Mrs. Dimitri killed him, turned off the lights so nobody'd check the offices, then she came back later, put the phony bank receipt in his wallet and took off, leaving the lights on." "Now you're thinking." "The problem is, it doesn't prove anything." "Nothing so far proves anything." "(SIGHS)" "BRADY:" "Lieutenant." "She's coming over here." "Okay, Sergeant, here's what I want you to do," "I want you to nod your head a lot and keep saying, "Yes, sir."" "Why, sir?" "Not "Why, sir?" "Yes, sir."" "And pardon my tone of voice." "Yes, sir." "COLUMBO:" "You got that?" "Yes, sir." "What do you mean, you can't get a straight answer out of these people?" "Look, Sergeant, I don't care if we have to spend another month up here, we're gonna get cooperation, you got that?" "Yes, sir." "Now, you go back and speak to those people again, especially this guy Connolly." "If he won't cooperate, take him down to headquarters again." "Yes, sir." "All right, talk to you later." "(SIGHS)" "I'm sorry." "The one thing I hate to do is lose my temper, but the Sergeant," "I don't think all his switches are working." "Well, sometimes if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." "Guess you have the same problem in your business." "Oh, it comes with the territory." "So, does this mean things aren't going very well?" "Nobody knows anything, nobody saw anything." "What can I do for you, ma'am?" "Not a thing." "And I'm late for a client." "I brought you this, Lieutenant." "Well, actually, it's for your wife." "I picked it up on the way over." "Oh, that's very nice." "You didn't have to do that." "Don't be silly." "It's nothing." "I think she'll really enjoy it." "You tell her it tastes delicious on an English muffin." "I'll do that." "And I penciled in dinner for the three of us on Saturday night." "You don't work on Saturday night, do you, Lieutenant?" "Not if I can help it, but in this business, you never know." "Well, I'm counting on you." "I'll call you later in the week to confirm, okay?" "And thank you very much." "She'll get a kick out of this." "(ENGINE STARTING)" "Got it." "Lieutenant." "That was headquarters." "A call just came in for you." "A guy named Steadman, returning your phone call." "He left a number where you can reach him." "Thank you." "Yeah." "Mmm..." "I'm looking for a Dr. Steadman." "Ah, over there." "Dr. Steadman?" "Yes?" "Lieutenant Columbo, LAPD." "We spoke on the phone." "You're a long way from Los Angeles, Lieutenant." "I wonder if you'd mind, sir, I do have to ask you a few questions." "Lieutenant, I thought I made it clear, there's nothing I can tell you about Vivian Dimitri." "You did, sir, and I wouldn't bother you except it's so important." "Do you mind if I sit down?" "Thank you very much." "I've been on my feet since 6:00 this morning." "Lieutenant, I am trying to eat my dinner." "Oh, don't let me stop you, sir." "Excuse me, Dr. Steadman, is there some problem?" "No, no problem at all." "Lieutenant Columbo, Police Department." "I just have to ask the doc a few questions and we thought we'd get it out of the way over dinner instead of having him spend all night in the police headquarters." "I know how busy you must be, sir." "Perhaps the lieutenant would like to see a menu." "That won't be necessary, sir." "I'll just have a BLT on white toast and a cream soda." "One Embarcadero, garni." "Thank you very much." "What are they?" "Snails?" "Escargot, dipped in garlic butter." "The flavor is fantastic." "Oh, garlic!" "That's what I smelled." "What's it for?" "To kill the taste of the snails?" "Lieutenant, can we make this as quick and as painless as possible?" "A man named Charlton Chambers is dead." "I have reason to believe that Vivian Dimitri killed him." "Ten years ago, Chambers tipped a stock broker to the fact that one of his employees, Mrs. Dimitri's husband, Pete Garabaldi, had embezzled funds from his clients." "Although that fact was not known to the world, it is my guess that Mrs. Dimitri found out about it." "And last Friday night, she evened the score." "Lieutenant, if you expect me to make a comment on that, you have a long wait." "For me to divulge what Vivian Dimitri may or may not have revealed to me would be a violation of a trust." "Thank you." "Ah, a small mariner's salad." "You're gonna have to forgive me, sir, but here I am, I'm talking about murder, and from this side of the table, it looks like you don't care one way or the other" "that this woman shot down an unarmed man in cold blood." "Lieutenant..." "If I understand correctly, you're trying to get me to confirm your suspicion that Vivian Dimitri may have murdered" "Charlton Chambers out of revenge." "If that were true, and I'm not saying it is, Lieutenant, such an obsession might not end with Chambers." "He is, after all, not the man who put her late husband behind bars." "You knew who I was when I called you." "She mentioned my name." "I can't comment on that." "Mrs. Dimitri has asked a lot of questions about my wife." "A lot of questions about her, sir." "She even wants to meet her." "I'm afraid that would not be a good idea." "When you say that that won't be a good idea..." "I mean, it would not be a good idea." "The other night, I took a couple of books out of the library." "Mental disorders, psychotic behavior, that kind of thing." "I found a case history." "A woman who felt that someone's actions led to the death of her husband." "But her obsession for revenge didn't focus on the person that was responsible for it, but on that person's wife." "Would you say that was unusual, sir?" "Not at all, Lieutenant." "In extreme cases, such a fixation is common." "You rob me of my husband, I rob you of your wife." "In this example, sir..." "Well, it seemed to me pretty dumb." "I mean, the woman couldn't expect to get away with it." "I'm sure she didn't expect to." "On the contrary, I imagine she would have gone out of her way to make sure the man knew that she had been responsible." "Even if she had to spend the rest of her life in prison?" "She wouldn't care very much about that." "WAITER:" "Your Embarcadero, sir." "Garni." "Oh, excuse me, I just ordered a BLT." "What's all this?" "That's garni, sir." "Oh." "Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not feeling too hungry." "Maybe you could put this in a doggy bag, and I'll eat it on the plane." "Of course, sir." "Thank you." "Just the sandwich." "The garni..." "You can keep the garni." "Thank you, Doctor." "You've been a very big help." "Hey, Lieutenant, the woman you described, from that case history you found in that book." "If she did exact her revenge, she would have to make sure her victim knew that she was responsible." "Otherwise, where is the satisfaction?" "Do you follow me?" "Oh, yes, sir." "Yes." "I follow you perfectly." "Yeah." "Over there." "Let's plant some petunias, marigolds..." "I've got a buyer flying in from Japan." "I want this place to look like the arboretum." "Now, how about those broken sprinkler heads over by the west gate?" "This is not a Reseda tract home we're unloading here, Nick." "Whatever it takes, let's do it." "Yes, ma'am." "Peeling paint, window casements, first and second floor, east side." "(ENGINE BACKFIRING)" "Morning, ma'am." "Good morning, Lieutenant." "Your office told me I could find you here." "Wow, this is some place." "This must have, what, five, six bedrooms?" "Eight." "Why would anybody wanna sell a place like this?" "The owners wanna move up a notch or two." "Up?" "Up from this?" "My whole house could fit in here." "A couple times." "Well, you wanna know the truth, the plumbing's terrible, the roof leaks and all for $6.2 million." "How many zeroes is that?" "Too many." "So, what can I do for you, Lieutenant?" "Not a thing, ma'am." "I just came by to put your mind at ease about Mitchell Connolly." "You arrested him?" "It's just a matter of time." "We ran a check on him, found out he's got a felony conviction for assault, probation, suspended sentence." "That was a few years ago." "Now, I realize that assault is not the same as murder..." "VIVIAN:" "That is definitely scary." "I guess you can never tell about people." "You know, I'm surprised you're surprised." "Oh?" "It was in the file." "What?" "The felony conviction." "The bank picked it up when they checked on his background." "Really?" "The pond needs to be drained." "Let's clean it and check it for leaks." "Actually, Charlie handled that sale personally, a couple of months before I came to work." "It's funny, he never mentioned it." "Yes, that is odd." "Maybe that's why Connolly took the file and destroyed it." "He destroyed it?" "Well, it would've been dumb of him if he hadn't and I've never thought of Mitchell Connolly as dumb." "Then you never actually read Connolly's file?" "I have my hands full reading the files I get commissions on." "We've got a broken window in the master bedroom." "We've got to fix that." "Where did I get the idea that you read the file?" "I don't know." "I know where I went off." "The assault happened in Reno, Reno was written in the file, and the other morning, you mentioned to me that the Connollys used to live in Reno." "So I must've thought that's where you got that information." "From the file." "No." "(SIGHS)" "As a matter of fact," "Connolly came into the office one day to see Charlie and we got talking about blackjack." "I was going to Vegas for the weekend," "I think that's when he told me he that he used to live in Reno." "Oh, I see." "Well, that explains it." "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "(HORN HONKING)" "Oh, the way that kid drives." "One of these days, I'm gonna give him a ticket." "Lieutenant..." "Sergeant, you take care of your car and it will take care of you." "Lieutenant, you have to come with me right away." "It's your wife." "They've taken her to the hospital." "What?" "What happened?" "BRADY:" "I don't know." "A neighbor found her on the kitchen floor." "Is she all right?" "Well, I don't know." "They told me to find you, that's all." "COLUMBO:" "You drive." "Yes, sir." "I'll be back for my car later." "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "PRIEST:" "By dying, you opened the gates of life for those who believe in you." "Do not let our sister be parted from you, but by your glorious power give her light, joy and peace in heaven where you live forever and ever." "ALL:" "Amen." "Give her eternal rest, O Lord, and may your light shine on her forever." "ALL:" "Amen." "MAN 1:" "I'm terribly sorry." "COLUMBO:" "Thank you." "MAN 2:" "So sorry." "COLUMBO:" "Thank you for coming." "WOMAN:" "We're so terribly sorry." "COLUMBO:" "Thank you very much." "WOMAN:" "She's gonna be missed." "COLUMBO:" "Yes, I know." "I'm sorry." "I..." "I wish I had the words, Lieutenant." "I don't." "Her mother's still alive, 82." "Her grandmother died, 90." "How do you figure?" "I don't know, do you have plans?" "'Cause, I mean, I don't wanna impose, but could you come back to the house with me?" "Certainly." "I don't want a lot of people around." "I just wanna talk." "I don't know." "You've been through this." "So if I start to babble like a lunatic, you'll be able to understand." "Yes, yes." "Uh..." "Could I drive with you?" "I've had enough of this thing for one day." "Well, of course." "Okay, I'm gonna go with the lady, here." "There you are." "Thank you, sir." "VIVIAN:" "You know, I never found out." "What exactly did she die of?" "Um..." "A heart attack." "I mean, it's crazy." "I never even knew she had a problem." "(TIRES SCREECHING) Columbo!" "Well, what do you say, Benny?" "Look, sorry I didn't make it earlier but they had me out at 5:30 this morning." "I understand, Ben, no problem." "Look, I don't know if this is important, but we got a call from the Coroner's office and they wanna delay the burial." "COLUMBO:" "What for?" "I don't know." "Maybe they found something in the autopsy." "All I know is what they told me." "Right, sure." "Listen, I gotta go home, so I'm going home, Ben." "If you find out what that's all about, let me know." "Oh, yeah, sure." "(ENGINE STARTING)" "Oh, I'm sure it's nothing." "Just some red tape." "Something like that." "Let's get out of here." "(DOOR OPENING)" "I know it doesn't seem like much," "I mean, with all the fancy houses you see every day..." "Don't be silly." "This is lovely." "This is very warm and homey." "Well, at least it's neat." "Last night, I spent five hours cleaning the place." "Not that it needed it." "My wife was a very tidy person." "But, you know, I'll tell you the truth, I was going crazy." "I started washing the walls." "You know what I did when Pete died?" "Polished silver." "Three nights straight, till daybreak, over and over and over." "Funny, the only silver we had we'd been given as wedding presents and I remember who gave us each piece." "I wonder if I should feed these fish again." "I read somewhere if you feed them too much, they die." "You know, my wife, she kept these fish almost three years." "I'll be lucky to keep them three days." "It hurts, doesn't it?" "Yeah." "Yeah, very much." "But they say after a while you get over it." "Don't count on that." "I still can't get used to the idea of being alone." "Maybe you'll be luckier." "You hungry?" "What?" "I've been up since 3:00." "I suddenly realized I didn't eat anything since yesterday afternoon." "You want breakfast?" "No, no thanks." "Hey, this is crazy." "I gotta eat." "Come on, I'll fix you a cup of coffee." "(DISHES CLATTERING)" "Your wife was a very attractive woman." "You met her?" "No, that's a picture of her on the piano, isn't it?" "Oh, right." "Do you play?" "Me?" "No." "But she did." "Not very well, either." "I never told her that." "She was crazy about Chopin." "I think if Chopin ever heard her play, he'd turn over in his grave." "This was made this morning but I think it's still okay." "You want milk?" "No." "Sugar?" "Black is just fine." "That's the way I like it." "Hot, strong and black." "Plenty of caffeine." "None of that decaf stuff for me." "Say, did I tell you about Mitchell Connolly?" "No, what about him?" "The DA thinks we've got a case." "He's getting ready to press charges." "Oh." "That's wonderful." "Of course, it's mostly circumstantial." "We hope the guy will crack, try for a plea." "Maybe second-degree or manslaughter." "I figure something's better than nothing, especially with what we got." "That's wonderful." "Congratulations." "Who, me?" "I didn't do anything." "This one was simple." "Do you ever have second thoughts?" "About what?" "I don't know." "Worrying maybe you might've made a mistake." "Well, I'm not the judge or the jury or even the DA." "I investigate, I make arrests." "I don't pass judgments." "That's not my job." "Oh." "Looks like my wife already tasted some of this." "I'm gonna try some myself." "My wife used to kid me about that." "She said I had a closed mind." "You know, the movies, music, books." "Well, to tell you the truth, I'm a Gary Cooper type of guy." "I like Gary Cooper, I like Louis Armstrong and Mark Twain." "But I gotta change that." "I gotta open myself up to more." "You sure you don't want a piece?" "This marmalade, it was your idea." "Mmm, no thank you, I really am not hungry." "Lieutenant." "What's the matter?" "Maybe I will have some more coffee." "No, no, no." "Stay there, I'll get it." "There's only one thing I don't get." "And I'll admit, it's bothering me." "Why did Connolly toss that gun so close to the house?" "That was a very stupid thing to do." "You know, this stuff is pretty good." "Show you what I've been missing." "Me and my closed mind." "Doesn't that come with the job, Columbo?" "A policeman needs a narrow, straight-ahead mentality." "You know, no room for motive or extenuating circumstances." "Well, ma'am, when it comes to first-degree murder, my feeling is, there are no extenuating circumstances." "Maybe you've never been desperate or frightened." "There are men who will go to any lengths just to protect the people they love." "My husband was like that, believe me." "It's getting very warm in here, isn't it?" "See, he wanted the judge to understand, he tried to explain to him that..." "Well, the judge did understand, ma'am." "That's why your husband got a reduced sentence." "Because he was mentally unstable." "My husband was not mentally unstable!" "You have got no right to say that!" "Well, excuse me, ma'am," "I mean, this is not my judgment," "I'm just bringing out what was in the trial." "It's getting very warm in here, I..." "I think I'm gonna turn down that thermostat." "That judge was a sick, prejudiced old man." "I hated the sight of him," "I hated the sound of his voice." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Oh, excuse me." "Columbo." "Oh, hi, Benny." "What?" "Poison?" "What kind of poison?" "What are you talking about?" "I am listening." "Well, do that." "That's crazy." "What is it?" "The Coroner's office." "They made additional tests." "Don't ask me the names." "Very complicated long names." "They found evidence of poison." "Did they?" "What kind of poison?" "Something very unusual." "(SIGHS)" "How could she be poisoned?" "It doesn't make any sense." "No sense?" "Really?" "Oh, Columbo, you are blind." "You are so blind." "(LAUGHS)" "You really don't get it, do you?" "Hmm?" "I'm sorry, ma'am, you've lost me." "Well, then let me help you back on the trail." "The poison." "You wanna know the name of it?" "I'm not sure I can spell it." "I know I can't pronounce it." "But I researched it for weeks just to find the right thing." "It had to be perfect." "What are you saying?" "You poisoned my wife?" "Why?" "Why?" "For the same reason that I killed Charlie Chambers." "Retribution, Columbo." "A balancing of the books." "You killed Mr. Chambers?" "No, no, no." "No, that's not possible." "Would you like me to tell you how I did it?" "Ma'am, I have to warn you not to say anything." "Until I talk to a lawyer?" "Oh, I have that little speech memorized." "I know that one by heart." "It got burnt into my memory over the last 10 years." "Are you telling me that Leland St. John lied to give you an alibi?" "No." "Charlie was dead before I had dinner with Leland." "The ATM withdrawal." "I did that using Charlie's code." "Charlie let me use his card all the time, whenever I needed cash." "Ma'am, is this some kind of confession?" "You're forgetting, I'm still a police officer." "But you won't be for long." "In a little while, the phone is gonna ring." "And it'll be your friend Benny again with some more information from the Coroner's office." "Only this time, you won't be able to answer the phone, Columbo, because you'll be dead." "Lying right here on your kitchen floor." "I don't think so, ma'am." "You see, this is not my kitchen floor." "What?" "I said, "This is not my kitchen floor."" "And this is not my house." "This belongs to my friend, Sergeant Brady." "Sergeant." "Did you get all that?" "Yes, sir." "I would have done this at my house, but..." "My wife's got a bad case of the flu, I didn't wanna disturb her." "Your wife is alive?" "COLUMBO:" "Oh, yes, ma'am." "VIVIAN:" "But the funeral at the cemetery." "I saw..." "What you saw were a lot of my friends, other policemen, their wives..." "Oh, and by the way, this marmalade is not the marmalade you gave me the other day." "This one, I bought myself." "The other jar..." "As soon as you gave it to me," "I took it right down to the forensic lab and had them analyze the contents." "VIVIAN:" "Then..." "Then you knew all along." "COLUMBO:" "Yes, ma'am." "I did." "I want to tell you that..." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry that your husband died and I'm sorry for your grief." "And maybe there was another way to do this, but if there is, I don't know what it was." "But there is no way that you are going to walk away from Mr. Chamber's murder." "Besides which, you wanted to kill my wife and you would have killed me." "I take that very personally." "You bastard." "(SOBBING)" "Hi, it's me." "How're you feeling?" "Gee, you sound awful." "You getting any sleep?" "That's crazy." "Who cares if Nurse Wilson is running off with the gardener's son?" "Excuse me, the pool man's son." "Listen if you miss a day on the soap opera, you can catch up." "No, honest." "Believe me, they write them that way." "Get some sleep." "I'll grab a bite at the diner." "Get some sleep." "Okay." "Yeah, that's good." "Just get some sleep." "Oh, and tell your sister, Rita, I got her picture." "She can pick it up tonight." "And when you're better, you and me, we're gonna go to a photographer and we're gonna have a decent picture of you taken." "What do you mean, you take lousy pictures?" "How do you know?" "You never had a picture taken." "We can do it both ways." "You do one with a hat, you do one without a hat." "Can we discuss this later?" "Take your medicine and go to sleep." "I'm hanging up now." "I love you, too."