"♪ There's been girls that have stolen our hearts" "♪ They'll never let us in and say" "♪ Boys will be boys" "♪ Till the end ♪" "We spend our entire lives searching for love." "And we do everything we can to make it happen." "We believe we have control." "Think we can choose who we love." "But the reality is... life doesn't work like that." "Now I look back on it, none of this would have happened if it wasn't for the woman with two vaginas." "( # House )" " I don't believe you." " Why not?" "Koala bears have two vaginas." "I can't imagine it." "Think bowling ball." "I'll tell you, most men are confused enough by one vagina." " God knows what they'd make of two." " It's not that complicated." "Sure, big shot." "And you go from dusk till dawn?" " In the summer." " Summer where?" "Lapland?" "(Giggles)" "It all comes down to chance." "Take Fi and Jase." "They've been together for ages." "But they only met because of a mossie bite." "Ow!" "Oooh." "God!" "Sorry." "Sorry, I should have looked in the mirror." "I wish I hadn't." "Oh, my God." "Your face." "No, it's a mossie bite." "I was trying to put concealer on it." " Oh." " Is it that bad?" "No." "No, you look great." "I look like Mickey Rourke." " Er..." "I'm late for work." " Do you need a lift?" "No." "That's where I work." " See you, Mickey." " It's Fi." "See you, Fi." "And there it is." "That's the way things happen." "But the story doesn't stop there." "It keeps going." "Once chance moment after another." "Sorry, mate." "Opportunity of a lifetime, she just missed it." "Fi seems all right." "Yeah, she's good." "Get through another MOT." "Mmm." "Put that... somewhere safe." "Just get your rent sorted." "Honestly mate, I'm all right, I get paid next week." "Yeah, but it's peanuts." "Besides, I got a bonus." " I'll pay you back, I promise." " You'd do it for me." " How much bonus?" " Ah, it's sick." "It's all crap." "I think I'm going to move to the Outer Hebrides." "Take up sheep farming." "I've got to do something." "Not the bonus, obviously." "I'm very lucky, I know that." "I'm an overpaid, successful broker with a gorgeous girlfriend." " And you don't understand my problem?" " I don't understand." "So much in life comes down to chance." "To moments." "The little things." "It's only when you look back, you think..." "Well, like when Jase met Fi." "Anything behind me, mate?" "How much room have I got?" " Er..." "loads." " Yeah." "Aaah!" "Ah-ha-ha-ha..." "Ugh." "Can't find reverse gear." " I'll drive." " I'm all right." "I'm not." "Sort the drawers out." "Sorry." "Sorry, I should have looked in the mirror." "I wish I hadn't." "Oh, my God." "Your face." "No, it's a mossie bite." "I was trying to put concealer on it." "Is it that bad?" "No." "No, you look great." "Life could have been so different." "See you, Mickey!" "Imagine if I'd found reverse gear." "It would have been me." "Not that I'd have gone out with her." "I wouldn't." "Don't get me wrong." "Fi's sexy." "Really sexy." "She's just not my type." "She's not." "Why were you looking at me?" "I was looking at Koala Girl." "No!" "She'd only be twice as disappointed as your other girlfriends." " I don't think so." " Well." "Go on, then." "Chatting up women with unusual genitalia isn't a hobby, you know?" "It's for work." "And it's my knackers that are on the line." "Nathan, how'd you get on?" "Peggy Simmonds, my boss." "Runs a porn empire." "Erotica for couples." "The most uninhibited, sexually explicit woman I know." "And the most frightening thing about her?" "She looks just like my mum." " So, the feature, Nathan." " Hm?" "The woman with the Siamese twins." " Er, sorry?" " The double-barrelled vagina." "You haven't let me down again, have you?" "I warned you, this is your last chance." "No." "Shazney's well up for it." " With a photoshoot?" " I'll think of something." "So, what are they?" "Side by side?" "Or back and front?" " Erm..." " And does it let her off anal?" "Well...we didn't get that far." "And has she got two of everything?" "Cos I'll tell you, Nathan, if I had two clits," "I'd never get any housework done." " Hi." " Hi." "Is that Christian Lacroix?" "I wish." "Well, you make it look like one." "You love teasing him." "Oh, I want him to find someone who makes him happy." "Yeah." "She looks perfect." "Have we met before?" "I don't think so." "I mean..." "I know I've seen you somewhere." " Well..." " Don't tell me." "You're a model." " Yeah." " What, Paris, Milan?" " Glamour." " Oh." "Oh, you're wasted." "(Crowd cheering)" "I'm going to a party later." " Where?" " I'll write it down for you." "Here." "I don't want everyone seeing it." "I don't know how he does it." " It's a very long road." " (Giggles)" "It's a no entry." "Well." "Can always go round the back way." "Well, how was I to know she was dating the bouncer?" "(Tyres screech)" "All right?" "Sorry, mate." "Just when you thought you'd found the perfect woman." "Oh, no, no, believe me." " It's one of my golden rules." " Hm?" "I never date girls with more vaginas than brain cells." "Oi!" " Er, can I put my shoes on?" " Er, yeah." "(Nathan) Aaah." "Come on, Prince Charming." " There's nothing charming about doing this." " Oi." " I think we lost him." " I was wondering about Jase." "Yeah, that's who I meant." " Er..." "I'm not gonna worry about him." " Yeah." "He'll go straight to the party." "Yeah, course he will." " Sounds like things are going well." " What?" " You and Jase." " Why?" "Well, I..." "We're good." "We're always good." "Yeah." "Yeah, you always look like..." "Well, you're the ideal couple." "So, where do we go from here?" "What do you mean?" "Right or left?" " I was following you!" " No, I was following you." " (Fi) You brought us here." " I was just running." "No, it wouldn't be your fault, would it?" "( # Techno )" " See?" "I got us here." " Yeah." "Via Wigan." "Get us a couple of vodkas." "Do you think Jase is all right?" " And a Prozac." " Do you think he's gone back to the flat?" "Any chance of some vodka in this vodka?" " Were you just trying to chat her up?" " No." "You've no idea of the kind of woman I fancy." " Yeah, I do." " Go on, then." "The ones that say yes." " I've lost my bloody door keys." " Probably when we were running." "Yeah." "(Nathan) Here he is." "(Fi) Hey." " How come you took so long?" " You disappeared." "Well, I wasn't going to hang around." " What was wrong with that bloke?" " Er, you had your hand up his girlfriend's skirt." " I was inviting her to a party." " Yeah, right." "I'm going to get something to eat." "Tasty." "Very tasty." "Hi." "Is, er, that Versace?" " Next." " Next?" " It is a Versace!" " Does it matter?" "It looks great, whatever." " You're obviously not in the fashion business." " No." "New media." "Oh." "You're a web designer." "Hypertextual edu-tainment." "Catering for the more sophisticated internet user." "Believe me." "The new Polygon chip is the most important advance since the printing press." "It offers epic possibilities." "We've gone beyond multimedia." "Hyperfiction has to be the next big thing." " Are you following me?" " Oh, yeah." "You know what hyperfiction is?" "Yeah." "That's Attention Deficit Disorder." "You're thinking of hyperactivitiy." "Oh, am I?" "There are so many of these words, aren't there?" "Hyperbole, that's one that springs to mind." "Or should that be hyperbollocks?" "I'm never sure." " OK." "So, what do you do?" " Nothing as interesting as you." " No, go on." " Well..." "Recently, I've been thinking of setting up my own wind farm." "Nice to have met you." "Clearly a lesbian." "They don't know how lucky they are to have you working there." "No." " Do you wanna go?" " No, I'm fine." " Have another drink." " OK." "See?" "All you need to do is get pissed at work." "And get fired, and that'll really cheer me up." " Come on, you know I'll support you." " Yeah." "Thank you." "Sorry, I'm being really wet." " That's all right." " Maybe you're right." "Drink is the only answer." "I'm gonna make this stronger." " (Nathan) You all right?" " Yeah." "Work still shit?" "Aaaah!" "Sorry." " Want to go somewhere quiet?" " Yeah." " See you, then." " Oi!" "God, stop hurting me!" " I thought you were a hard man." " I can be." " That is cheap." " Made you laugh, though." "Yeah." " I'm gonna go and get some air." " I'll get us a fresh drink." "OK." " Oh!" " Ow!" " What the hell are you doing?" " It wasn't my fault!" " Stupid bitch!" " That's no way to talk to a lady." "(All gasp)" "Well, he caught me unawares." "I have something homeopathic for that." "Are you sure she has two vaginas?" "Yeah." "The bitch." "I'd settle for one." " How do you know?" " From a very reliable and doubly tired source." "And anyway, why do you think the guy did that to you?" "No!" " Leave him alone!" " Leave him." "Look at you." "Bloody idiot." "I'll go and get something to clean you up." "Excuse me." "Sorry." " What are you doing?" " I'm really sorry." "Thanks." "Hello?" "Can you open the door?" "It's an emergency." "Come on, hurry up." "Someone's been hurt." "I need some antiseptic cream, or something, or... tissues." "Come on!" "Sod you, then." "Oh." "Why'd you have to be like that?" " I was trying to protect you." " He didn't do anything." " He swore at you." " Oh, my God!" " I'm being serious." " So am I." "For fuck's sake." " Are you swearing at me?" " That's not swearing at you." " What is it?" " That's swearing... beside you." " That's different." " Very different." " Ah." "I'm off." " Do you want me to get you a taxi?" " How about a guide dog?" " # When you fell apart" "♪ You fell down" "♪ Down ♪" "(Knocking at door)" "I can't find Jase and I haven't got my keys." "I'm locked out." "Well, it worked for Lennox." "I think you've got to be black." "I'm bloody close." " Ooh." " Mm." " I wasn't having a go at you earlier." " I know." " It's just, you're not usually like that." " Oh, cheers." "What?" "I'm apologising, aren't I?" " No, it's gonna hurt." " Nathan, stop being a baby." " No, please!" " I'm going to be really gentle." " OK?" " Mm-hm." " Mm-hm." " Mm." " Mm-hm." " Mm-hm." " That hurts!" " OK, OK, OK, I'm sorry." "I won't..." "I won't touch it." "Er... what other injuries do you have?" "Mm." " Oh!" " Mm." "What a bastard." "Can I say something to you?" "Yeah." "You wanna get some hand cream on those fingers." " (Laughs)" " You..." "(Groaning)" "♪ That is so nice... ♪" "Aaah!" "Ow!" "Fucking..." "♪ It was so nice" "♪ I don't... ♪" "(Knock at door)" "What the fuck is that?" " (Banging)" " Come on, mate, I know you're in there." "Oh!" " What are you doing?" " I've been trying to find you." " You need to go home, mate." " I got a message from Fi." "She lost her keys." " Shit, man!" " Oh, yeah, I... ran into that boyfriend again." " Oh, God." " Yeah, it's all right." "It's just a black eye." "And what about your neck?" "Aaah!" " Oh, it's nothing." " I can't find her." "Well, er, she's not in here." " She's switched her mobile off." " Come on, Jase." "Let's get you home." " No." "I wanna come in." " Yep." " Aah!" "Fi's probably waiting for you." " She isn't." " Come on, Jase." " She's gonna be pissed off with me." " Let's just go home." " I hope she's OK." "I just left her, didn't I?" "I've really messed up." "I just left her stranded." " I'm a shit boyfriend." " You need to go home." " I don't deserve her." " What?" " I just push her away." " Rubbish." " No." " Jase, please, let's go." " I want to talk to you." " On the way." "Fi is the most beautiful, gorgeous..." "You think she's beautiful, don't you?" " Kind of." " You don't find her attractive?" "I do." "Well, I mean... yeah, of course." " Know the wonderful thing about her?" " Er, no." "It's not just about sex, it's not like that." "She's not just a girlfriend, like you, she's my best mate." "Look." "Can we just stop?" "I want you to go home." "No." "You don't understand what I'm saying." "The sex is... well, it's all right." "But it's like we've gone past that." "No, no, look, I'm not listening to this." "This is drink talk, mate." "We both said it." "It's almost like we're on a higher level." "She's special." "Sometimes I don't treat her like that, I don't know." "It's not about her, I can't explain." " If I don't sort myself out, I'll lose her." " I'm not getting into this." " It's rubbish." " You think I'm wrong?" " Course you bloody are." " Let go of me a moment, will you?" "Yeah, course." "You just, er, sit down over there." " I think I'm gonna throw up." " Oh, no!" "Some days, you look back at your life and wonder if Alzheimer's is such a terrible thing." "(Vomiting)" " Oh, God!" " You have to go home." " You have to go!" " What are you doing?" "I don't want her to see me like this." "I want to sleep here tonight." " No." " Please." "You've got the keys." "How's she going to get in?" "Maybe she won't come back." "I mean..." "What happened to me?" "Because I love this woman." "I love her, Nathan." "This is something I've never said before." "But I know..." "I'm not the man she wants." "Just shut up, will you?" " I'm trying to say something." " You've said it." " Now please, can you just leave?" " What's the matter?" "I thought we were mates." "Hey, I'm sorry." "Listen..." "I'm tired." "It's all right." " I'll get home by myself." " No, I didn't mean that." "Come on." "Hey, don't lose that." "You're my best mate." "Whatever happens... we'll always be mates, yeah?" "Yeah." "I'd better get back." "Stay." "I'm going." "Yeah." "Yeah, of course." "Erm..." "(Groans)" "♪ Such a shock" " # When you fell apart... #" " Uh?" "Well..." "Jase isn't gonna find out." "How's he gonna know?" "She'd have to be really, really stupid to tell him." "Well, she wouldn't." "Fi?" "♪ Build a life" "♪ Aah, try and live" " # With myself #" " Thought you'd gone." "I didn't set the alarm." " What time is it?" " Er..." "Sodding market's going to be closed." "Oh, what's wrong with my bloody shoes?" "No, no, no, I'm OK." "Ah." "Right, I'm going." "Jase, mate." "Hi." "So, squash, later?" "Nah." "I've got a session with my trainer." "Can't talk." "I'm late." "He knows." "Maybe he's always known." "(Thunder)" " Aaah!" " Oooh!" "(Giggles)" "You two old friends?" "Not really, no." "I'm just his social worker." "You don't look like a social worker." " What do you do?" " I'm a sex therapist." " Really?" " Yeah." " Group or individual?" " Well, er..." "I'm very open-minded." " (Mobile)" " Sorry." " Hello?" " Hello, it's me." "Put me on speaker." " OK." " Nathan." " Yeah?" " Bring the ketchup, they're nearly done." "Aah, aah, I would, mate, but I can't reach." "It's in the back seat." " Oh, and Fi?" " Yeah?" " Don't let him chat you up." " OK." " I don't know what you see in him." " I don't know." "You're both just really fun." "Er, Jase, Jase is great." "Well, the way we met." "I've never had someone just bump into me and ask me out." "Everything's just very spontaneous with him, isn't it?" "Yeah, it's just the type of guy he is." " Don't believe any lies about me." " What?" "Not even lies you've told her?" " Here you are." "You can have the first one." " Aw, bless you." "Thank you." "Cold soggy sausage." "I thought it was obvious." "But maybe it wasn't." "Maybe we can all just forget it ever happened and move on." "This is me when I was younger." "This is me with my wife." " Your wife?" " My second wife." " She didn't mind?" " What?" " That I had better legs than her?" " Huh." "She was fine at that stage." "It was when I started growing breasts that she ended it." " Right." " I'm hoping she'll get used to it." "When I've had the op and everything." " Maybe we can be friends." " Oh, sure." "So." "Girl with the twin-pack." "I thought I made it clear your balls are on the line here, Nathan." " It's all lined up." " With an interview?" " Yeah." " What it's like when she has an orgasm, how many boyfriends she's had, how many she's had at the same time." "Yeah." "That sort of thing." " Hm." "Oh, and Nathan?" " Hm?" "Don't stinge on the minge." "Yeah, course." "I know you lot think I've got a dream job, but you're forgetting the long-term psychological damage this sort of thing can do." "(House music ringtone)" "Yeah?" "Sorry I couldn't talk before but we need to speak." "Something's happened." "Oh." "I've got appointments all day, Jase." "Erm, I'm just looking through me schedule here." "No, I..." "I can't, I can't see that I can move anything, mate." "Nate, it's important." "It can't wait." "Well, er... maybe this evening." "See you then." "Don't you just love it?" "One moment, life's going along fine, the next, I'm so far up shit creek I don't need a paddle," "I need a bloody diving bell." "..salad, medium rare, them steaks." "Table four, away." "Come on!" "(Mobile)" "Four chicken!" "Come on!" " What's going on?" " They're on their way, Chef." "Nothing's fucking prepped." "Where were you this morning?" "It's never happened before, Chef." "Oh!" " Jesus!" " Sorry." "Want to go and tell them that?" "Leave it." "I'll do it." "Just sort out some more plates." " (Knocking) - (Sobbing)" " (Jase) Fi, don't do this to me, please." " (Sobs)" "Please just open the door." "Speak to me." "I'm really sorry." "I..." "I shouldn't have done what I did." "I can't explain." "I wish..." "I don't know why." "I won't do that again." "Please, Fi." "(Mobile)" " Hi" " Nathan." " What is it?" " Can you talk?" "Erm..." "Er, yeah." "Yeah." " Where are you?" " Er, I'm, I'm here." "Here." " Nathan..." " Yep?" " Sorry." " Look..." "It's not your fault, Nathan I don't..." "I don't blame you." " I don't blame anyone." " Are you the third nun?" " No!" " What did you say?" "Er, I said, "I know," yeah." "Honestly, Nathan, believe me, you don't." " What do you mean?" " Last night after I left..." "What?" "My world's falling apart, it's all totally fucked up." "Oh, Jesus." "Jase is gonna kill me." " Is that all you're worried about, you and Jase?" " No!" "It's the only reason you called me, isn't it?" " I..." "I wanted to speak to you." " Yeah, right." " Yeah." " I've got to get back to work." "Well, my bollocks are now officially earrings." "I can't live like this." "I've got to talk to him." "I'm gonna be grown-up about it." "I'm going to speak to him." "Face-to-face." "Man-to-man." "Man-to-man." "It's a very old-fashioned way of dealing with things." "What?" "I'm thinking of him." "Poor guy's been hurt enough today." "(Woman) Fantastic." "Yeah." "You're probably wondering why, in a moment of emotional crisis," "I'm with a semi-naked woman." "But I am looking at the one arse that could save mine." "And the other thing you're wondering is how I got her here." "No, no, it's sweet of you to ring back, Shazney." "I'm a bit bruised, yeah." "Lost temporary sight in one eye." "It'll probably be fine." "Yeah, and, hey, I'm not gonna listen to my lawyers." "Shazney, Shazney." "Do I look like the type of bloke who's gonna press charges?" "No, there must be some more, I don't know, civilised way of sorting this out." " Wow." " (Photographer) Wow." "Oh, my God." "Lucky bitch." "Try getting that in a bikini." "Blimey, there are some birds in here." "Get the jug-o-meter out on that one!" "I need to talk about last night." " Me and Fi had a bust-up." " Probably just the time of the month, mate." " Nothing like that." " No, there's always times like this." "It's more than that." "Last night, you didn't notice?" " What?" " Anything different about her." "(Kissing)" " I don't think so." " Did she say anything?" "Yes!" "Oh, yes!" "We didn't really talk much." "She wouldn't talk to me either." "She didn't even have a go at me for getting drunk." "I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't." "She locked herself in the bathroom and cried." " Women." " Why is it so hard?" "God, it wasn't meant to be important." "Why can't I just say bollocks?" "If it was any other woman, it wouldn't matter." "I'd just finish it." "But I can't." "Yeah?" "So, what was this bust-up about?" "It wasn't a bust-up where you talk about things, it was a bust-up where you don't." " Right." " What's wrong with me?" " Why can't I just face up to it?" "It's over." " That's what she said?" "Why can't we be honest with each other?" "I don't know." " This is so difficult." " What?" "There are too many secrets." "I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you." "You're my best mate." "No." "You know who I am?" "I'll give you a clue." "Shazney's got two of them." " This is stupid." " What?" " I don't know how to put this." " No." "It's me." "I should say something." "You know, don't you?" "When you were in the bathroom, she was behind the door." " Oh, Jesus, I knew it." " I'm so sorry, mate." "Honestly, it's not what you think it is." " I met him before." " What are you talking about?" " It was all that woman's fault." " What woman?" "The woman with the two vaginas." "All right?" "You OK?" " Yeah." " Sorry, mate." " You're hurting?" " Well, it could be worse." " I didn't see him coming." " I always find that with Italians." " What was the hurry?" " Oh, some guy was chasing me." "Gets you down, doesn't it?" "So, you fancy a drink?" " No, I've gotta go." " OK." " I'm meeting some friends." "Otherwise..." " Yeah." " And I've got a party to go to." " Maybe I'll see you there." " You don't know where it is." " Oh, you could always tell me." "You told some bloke about the party?" "So?" "Look, Nathan, it's not that simple." "Just listen, will you?" "I'm going to get something to eat." "Tasty." "Very tasty." "So he turned up with that bird I tried to chat up?" "He's welcome to her." "I reckon she's a dyke." "Sorry, I'm being really wet." " That's all right." " Maybe you're right." "Drink is the only answer." "I'm gonna make this stronger." " Drink?" " Erm..." "Yeah." "That cycle coil really messed up your jeans." "It's fine." "They were two for one." "Very handy." "Don't know your name." "Some people call me Manny, some people call me Doc." " I'm Jason." " So tell me, Jase." "Have you ever had an out-of-body experience?" "I've been out of my mind a few times." "Would you like one?" "That your girlfriend?" "It's all right." "She won't know." "Easy!" " Oh!" " Ow!" " What the hell are you doing?" " It wasn't my fault." " You stupid bitch!" " That's no way to talk to a lady." "(Fi) Leave him alone!" "OK!" "So the guy was a dealer." "So you were getting toasted." "No wonder you were so out of it when you came round." "No." "Well, that's part of it." "Excuse me." "Sorry." " What are you doing?" " Sorry." "Excuse me." "I'm really sorry." "Thanks." "Hello?" "Can you open the door?" "It's an emergency." "(Fi) Hello?" "Quick." "Someone's been hurt." "I need some antiseptic cream, or something, or..." " (Knocking)" " Come on, quick!" " Sod you, then." " (Gasps )" "Then I just wanted to get drunk." "I tried to find Fi, came round to your place." "I wanted to talk to you then, but..." "You haven't said anything." " Well, they say you should try everything once." " Yeah, but..." " But what?" " I don't know why." "I mean, I'm not gay." "No, course you're not." "I'm sure loads of blokes do it." "Fucking hell!" "Can't believe...finally..." "I've told you." "Bloody hell, mate." "I can't understand why you didn't tell me earlier." " I just thought..." " No, I know loads of gay blokes." "Not that you're gay." "I mean, course you're not." "You can tell by the way you walk." "What am I going to say to Fi?" "She was behind the door." "She heard me." "I knew she heard me." "I kept thinking she was going to say something." "She came back last night, I tried to tell her." " (Knocking)" " Fi, don't do this to me, please." " (Sobbing)" " Please, just open the door." "Speak to me." "I'm really sorry." "I..." "I shouldn't have done what I did." "I can't explain." "I wish..." "I don't know why." "I won't do that again." "Please, Fi!" " She's gonna end it, I know." " No." "Did she say exactly what she heard?" "She didn't quite hear what you think she heard." " She thinks I'm with a woman?" " No!" "She thought she heard something and I told her she was mistaken." " And she believed you?" " Course, mate." "You're fine." "Whatever is going on in Fi's head, that is definitely not it." " You're sure?" " Trust me." "You're a life-saver." " I'm telling you, you're a top mate." " Well..." "I'm gonna sort it out with Fi." "These things happen, don't they?" "And, well, sometimes, honesty isn't the best policy, is it?" "(Gasping)" "There are those occasions." "I can't believe the way you've taken this." "I dunno." "I just thought... in a funny sort of way, you'd feel like you'd been lied to." "Huh!" "Just shows what good mates we are." "Listen, mate." "Anything I said is..." " That goes without saying, yeah." " And I don't wanna lose her." " Course." " I mean, you're the only person I'll tell." "Well, about, you know...what happened." "It's between you and me." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "You're such a good mate." "Yeah." " Hey!" "Easy, tiger!" " I've got the urge." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Come on then!" "All right!" "All right!" "Oh, my rib!" " You need to get in shape." " Ah!" "Yeah, I'm working on it." " I gotta go." " Yeah." " (Groans)" " I really appreciate this." "I mean, without you..." "I'd have never got together with Fi." " That your new way of picking up women?" " What?" " Run 'em over." " You think she, er..." "Oh, definitely, mate." " She was probably concussed." " Right." " Yeah." " You never seen that technique before?" " Never." " It's why they're called pick-up trucks." "You should have asked her out." "Aah..." "Well, you only get one chance in life, mate." "Go for it." "Hang on." "(Sighs)" " Hi." " Hiya." " Do you want a hand?" " Oh, I'm..." "I'm fine." "I've got you a latte." "Latte all right?" "Thanks." " How are you?" " Yeah, OK." "I saw him." " What did he say?" " He said you'd been crying." "Yeah." "It was... just a mad night." " It'll be fine." " Are you sure?" "You didn't say anything?" "It was a mad night." " Good mad?" " Yeah." "It's good to go mad once in a while." " It was my fault." " You can't say that." "It was totally wrong." "But..." "I don't know." "It was also kind of right." "I don't think so." "Yeah." "Course." "Nothing's changed." "No." "Well, except I know you've got hairy nipples." " What?" " It was a joke." " You can be such an arsehole." " No, you've got beautiful nipples." "Come on." "You know that's not what I want to say." "You know what I feel, don't you?" " I've got to go." " Why?" "My ice cream's melting." "♪ Such a shock" "♪ When you fell apart" "♪ You fell down ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh" "♪ Down" "♪ Broken heart" "♪ Have a heart" "♪ Edges frayed ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh" "♪ Frayed" "♪ You're out of my hands"