" Papers." " Sí." " What's the reason for your trip?" " They are traveling entertainers." "How many with you?" "Four big, four small." "You can go through." "Gracias." "[ Engine revs ]" "Chief:" "It was an impressive massacre." "Over 200 shots fired." "Chris:" "Looks like someone really hates school buses." " Brett:" "Or really loves tiny holes." " Chris:" "Okay, uh, Brett." "Remember when I duct-taped your mouth shut" " the other day?" " Brett:" "Yeah." "Chief:" "And it appears they got away with whatever they were after..." " Except..." " Chris:" "Ah, here we go." "Chief: [ Blows ] This." "Susie:" "A tiny bow tie?" "Really?" " What about bullet casings?" " Chris:" "How about sausage casings?" "Throw in some lemonade, and we got ourselves a street fair." "[ Scoffs ] Stupid." "Susie:" "Or why don't we analyze the tire tracks at the crime scene?" "We could trace the vehicle back to its owner." "Chris: [ Sighs ] Okay, Susie." "Why don't you and your brainiac friends go nerd out in the crime lab?" "This is the kind of lead Chris Monsanto knows how to follow." "Brett..." " Susan... sweetheart?" " Susie: [ Scoffs ] Fine." "Chris:" "Ah, it's always nice when you come along." "Susie:" "Thank you." "Then you take the handy-dandy green-and-yellow kerchief, wrap it around your hand, and presto!" " [ Gasps ]" " Why so blue, Mr. Kerchief?" "[ Laughs ]" "[ Bell dings ]" "Chris:" "Well, well, well." " Cyrus Barnaby." " Afternoon, marshal." "Stopping by for a quick tutorial of the linking rings?" "Chris:" "What do you know about this?" " I don't know anything." " Chris:" "Okay." "For somebody who tricks people for a living, you're not a very good liar." "Devin, call the police." "Brett:" "You should stick to peddling fake dog [bleep] instead of real bull [bleep] Barnaby!" "All right!" "Follow me." "Yes, a kid came in and sold this to me last week." "But it was worthless, non-functional..." "Had no "hand hole."" "Turns out a Mexican cartel used it to smuggle cocaine into the country." "Brett:" "How'd they get the drugs inside without a hand hole?" "Is there a drug hole?" "No, but..." "Take the handy-dandy arm, and then you dip it into the handy-dandy basin..." "[ Fizzling ]" "And presto." "Chris:" "Handy-dandy nostril candy." "The dummy is drugs." "It's a high-impact, pressure-molded cocaine." "And there's been a whole wave of fake dummies crossing the border." "Susie:" "So, our bloodbath was a drug deal gone bad." " Chris:" "I want a name." " Dominic Saldívar." "He owns the factory that makes these in Guadalajara." "Chris:" "Well, kids, you know what this means?" "Susie:" "We're gonna report this to the D.E.A.?" "Chris:" "Not quite." "We're going down to Mexico to find this Saldívar fellow and make him D.E.A..." "D." "[ Mariachi music plays ]" "Brett:" "Guys, let me ask you something." "Do you think it was a good or a bad idea for me to trade my gun in for this churro?" "Chris: [ Sighs ] Brett, your mouth is moving again and there are noises coming out of it." "Brett:" "Just bit my tongue." "Chris:" "Hey, shh." "Quiet." "Hey, guys, come here." "Take a look at this." "All right, think we found our source." "It's time to go undercover." "Welcome, my friends." "I am Dominic Saldívar." "You have traveled a long way to get here." "Brett:" "He's onto us." "Let's bail." "Chris: [ Clears throat ] Uh, my associate speaks very highly of your product." "Brett:" "Your drug product, he means..." "Cocaine, reverse-sneezing dust." "We're here to take a lot of it off your hands." "Let me show you what we do here." "My process changed the entire industry." "The U.S. can't even begin to combat us." "Help!" " Susie:" "Chris!" " Chris:" "What?" "And this is what makes it all possible..." ""La máquina"..." "Roughly translated, "the machine."" "It can pressure-mold cocaine into any shape..." "Not only dummies but books, trophies, sporting equipment..." "Dreidels." "You name it." "[ Fizzling ]" "Susie:" "That's amazing." "Brett:" "Can you make a cocaine version of my shoe?" "Sure." "Brett:" "How about my other shoe?" "Yes." "Brett:" "How about my marshal's badge?" "Marshals?" "This is a trap!" "Chris:" "Oh, boy, here we go." "Okay." "Es un emboscada!" "Brett:" "Damn it." "I had more shoe-related questions." "Chris:" "All right, look, uh, I'm gonna pump some Mexican killing beans into that guy." "I'll meet you guys somewhere near the front, okay?" "[ Gunshots in distance ]" "Hi." "Chris:" "Well, hello, there, little lady." "I'm Rosa." "Chris:" "I'm Chris Monsanto, U.S. marshal." "Saldívar is my ex-husband." "He is a very jealous man, and he will not let me leave, even though I do not feel for him." "Chris:" "I get it." "Save you from the big bad wolf, huh?" "Okay, honey." "Come on." "I'll take you with me." "Uh, Susie, Brett, I'd like you to meet..." " Honey, what's your name again?" " Rosa." "Rosa." "Isn't that beautiful?" "Oh, watch it." "Okay, come on." "Susie:" "At this rate, we should be at the border by 2:00 A.M." "Then we can get a motel and get some sleep." "Thank you, Chris." "I don't know how I will ever be able to repay you." "Chris:" "Well, you can start by paying for half the motel room." "Then we'll figure out things as we go along." "[ Chuckles ] You're silly." "Brett:" "What state is Mexico in?" "Chris:" "All right, Brett, I want you to shut up." "Brett:" "What?" "Chris:" "This is what a luxury American hotel looks like." "It's very... accommodating." " Chris:" "Heck, look." " [ Gasps ]" "Chris:" "They even put chocolates on the pillows here." "Isn't that something?" "[ Chuckles softly ]" "Anyhoo, uh, when we get back into town," "I'm gonna help you get started with your new life." "[ Knock on door ]" "Brett, I told you, you can't come in and watch me sleep." "We're here for the merchandise." "Chris:" "Oh, sorry." "You got the wrong room." "The merchandise." "This is the last time we'll ask nicely." "Chris:" "Honey, do you know anything about merchandise?" "Rosa." " Rosa?" " [ Door closes ]" "Rosa!" "Rosa!" "[ Knock on door ]" "I'm sorry, Chris!" "Chris:" "Rosa, open up!" "Come on!" "We share the bathroom." "That's part of the deal." "Come on, let..." "[ Fizzling ]" "You're the merchandise." " You're cocaine." " I'm so sorry, Chris." "You were set up to smuggle me across the border." "Chris:" "No." "No." "Flush me, Chris." "Don't let them get me." "Promise me you will flush me!" "[ Pounding on door ]" "Sorry, Chris." "I had no choice." "Chris:" "Oh." "[ Fizzling continues ]" "[ Toilet flushes ]" "Presto..." "Change-o." "Chris:" "There's something I have to do." "[ Gun cocks ]" "Good work today, guys." "See you tomorrow!" "Chris:" "Hey, Saldívar." "Well, well." "Look who it is." "Chris Monsanto." "Where's your snort-up doll?" "[ Laughs ]" "Chris:" "Chew on some death." "Adiós, amigo." "[ Thunder crashes ]" "[ Rain falling ]" "[ Fizzling ]" "Chris:" "You shouldn't have given me a guided tour, Saldívar." "I picked myself up a factory reject." "[ Bones crack ]" "Mmm." "That's some primo me." "Pure, uncut vengeance." "[ Door hinges creak ]" "[ Mariachi music plays ]"