""PARK BENCHES"" "1 5% off shower nozzles." "2o% off shades and Japanese screens." "5o% off aquariums." "This brochure is for you." "2o% off wallpaper and power jigsaws." "1 5% off melamine shelves bought in ten installments." "Stop talking nonsense." "No one pays for a shelf in ten installments." "What are you doing?" "What you told us to do, Mr. Bretelle." "What did I say?" "To do street marketing." "Hand out flyers." "You don't do street marketing at the entrance!" "You have to haul them in from far away." "Come back." "The situation is serious." "We need to refocus fast." "Not again." "It says "Brico-Dram."" "I can see that." "This is the third time." "I've had it." "All hell's going to break loose!" "How about this?" "Shaded terrace, oceanfront..." "6,ooo a week." "Not bad." "6,ooo euros!" "Who can relax after shelling out 6,ooo?" "Come on!" "He looks like a premature ejaculator." "Show me." "She's right." "Simon!" "Lucie, you get a brownie point." "Remi double-checked." "The profit margin wasn't included for November and December." " October too." " Yes, exactly." "I came to give you money for Mrs. Renivelle's gift." "Down the hatch!" "What is it?" "Very original." "We had a nice idea." "Expensive?" "Life companions." "Very good." "You know, Lucie, when I see your serious face behind this screen, I know you're goofing off." ""The cicada sang all summer long, and got her year-end objectives all wrong."" "What an ass..." "This damn lamp." " Tighten the screw." " l do, nonstop." "Maybe the fish shouldn't stay in the dark." ""LONELY MAN"" "Well, I'll be." "What's this bullshit?" "It may not be bullshit." "It's a load of crap." "A message in a bottle." "Maybe it's a call for help." "Too bad." "He forgot to give his number." "It's the old solitude routine." "All alone in the big city." "Pure theatrics." "Who knows?" "He may kill himself." "Let's do something." "Easy does it." "Cool down." "It's a sex thing." "He wants to hook up." "We should get a banner." ""Lonely women for man."" "Idiot!" "If we wrote "lonely women," we'd be called sluts." "And our objectives?" "The big boss called today." "We need to finalize..." ""Lonely man."" "What the hell is this hoax?" "Some guy marketing himself." "It's a teaser." ""Appetease" our appetites." "Not a bad idea." "What's he selling?" "A book, a movie..." "a band?" "Would you do it... if you were alone?" "Pathetic." "Whining in public." "Back to work." ""Solitude... is shared with oneself."" "Says Krachberg." "That's it." "The guy just got dumped." "It's obvious." "Anger externalization." "He's targeting his ex-wife." "She must be able to see the banner." "Maybe she works in our building." "Maybe here." "Got an extra paper clip?" "He could be good-looking." "We should..." "Maybe he wants a friend." "We're being awful!" "He wants a woman." "It's like a personal ad." "Not with those colors." "All that black." "Like a tombstone." "He's at the end of his rope!" "He can't cope!" "Yell to him you're coming." "How stupid." "Too easy." "Your family's waiting for you." "So I can cook them dinner." " You're lucky." " Don't be dumb." "You're clueless about living alone." "Eating shredded carrots straight from the plastic carton." "Cooking just one egg." "Canned beef stew in front of the TV." "You eat beef stew?" "Buying four vanilla yogurts and eating all four." "Spare us the grocery list." "You idiot!" "Got to go." "Hello, ladies." "What's so funny?" "He wants a fuck." "That's all." "Okay, get out of here." "Beat it." " Making progress?" " You bet!" "I mean, any news from Banner Boy?" "No news." "Because I was thinking... lt may be a publicity stunt, but who knows?" "He may blow his brains out." "Maybe he's already dead." "Simon, here you are." "Where are Borelly's stats?" "I was just asking Lucie if she..." " What were you looking at?" " Nothing." "Simon, concerning Borelly's trader buzz, maybe we should..." "Did you see it?" "What?" "The banner?" "Sure, I saw it." "What can I say?" "It's pretty drab, color-wise." "Has anyone gone to check?" "No." "I doubt he did it just for fun." "Should we send someone?" "Volunteers can go during lunch." "In two and a half hours." "Fine." "Okay, go now, but Renivelle mustn't notice." "Excellent." "You're obviously not going." "Obviously." "Just Lucie, of course." "She can't go alone." "We can't all go." "Come on." "Borelly arrives at 1 1 :oo." "We have work." "Lucie, don't use my corridor." "But Solange may see her." "I'll keep her busy." "Go out separately in five minutes." "Solange... come with me." "I want a status report." "Over a cup of coffee." "Let's go." "A coffee, now?" "It's 9:5o." "Now." "I'm doing Mr. Borelly's PowerPoint." "Now." "Such big cartridges." "Careful." "That's watercress soup." "You okay?" "Yes." "Borelly's visit isn't simplifying things." "I left you a memo on Axel-Bust." "One step at a time." "How's your little dog?" "Still nibbling?" "Sorry about your phone." "But it was really tiny." "She swallowed it whole." "I heard it ringing." "I had to wait..." "The vibrating alert sped up the..." "Enough." "You can keep it." "Like yesterday." "I was having a simple TV dinner." "I went to get some parmesan." "I got back." "No more carbonara." "She ate my carbonara in a flash." "Who did what?" "Fluffy." "My carbonara." "I'm sorry." "Of course..." "How long since your husband died?" "Six years." "And since?" "You live alone?" "It has its advantages." "I've gone places he'd never have gone." "China." "A cruise tracing Saint Paul's footsteps." "Scuba diving in the South Seas." "Millions of little fish, so friendly, escorting you to the surface." "And now that I'm about to retire..." "Exactly." "If you were home alone, at the end of your rope, desperate, what would you do?" "No idea!" "But it won't be the case." "Such sadness means you've known great joy." "But no banner for me, if that's your question." "You saw it too." "Everyone's talking about it." "Ridiculous." "What if it's serious?" "I've never seen you like this." "Don't worry." "I'm not!" "That banner is a leftist thing." "He's typically some kind of... some kind of..." "hippie-type." "A real subversive." "It's very heavy-duty stuff!" "No, that's cream of asparagus." "He's watching us and thinking, "Three for the price of one!"" "Shit." "An intercom!" "Odile de la Touze, Mr. and Mrs. de Brichembard..." "Eliminate the couples." ""H.S." as in "heartsick."" "Anyway, I was Highly Skeptical." "Mermot?" "There's a Bemol." "His name is Bemol!" "What is it?" "We're going to the fourth floor." "Can you open up?" "Want my pin code too?" "Haven't you seen the banner up there?" "Butt out!" "Screw you, old fart." "Wait till the next heat wave!" "Calm down." "Excuse me." "Perfect timing." "We want to go in." "To see who?" "It's for the banner." "Up there." "What banner?" "I don't know him." " Don't you care?" " Not at all." "In a small town, this would be unheard of." "I come from one." "So?" "Where I come from, we know each other." "We help each other." "We have block parties." "We have potluck dinners." "Enough, Amandine." "He may die all alone!" "Spare me." "I'll let you in." "Hurry up, before he jumps." "Why are you laughing?" "He may be hot stuff." "No way." "If he hung that banner, he's ugly." "He must have a major flaw." "Are you the lonely man?" "I'm not the only one." "Do you live here?" "No, but I'm a doctor." "I live nearby." "Want a drink?" "At 1 o:oo a.m.?" "No rest for the wicked." "You talk to a guy, and you're..." "A slut." "It should be this one." "Try again." "Wait." "Anyway, we have his name." "Mermot." " Mermoz?" " Mermot!" "Could be the gladiator's son!" "Aviator, idiot!" "He's rummaging about." "Keep quiet!" "Gag or tragedy?" "is it a matter of love or a matter of death?" "Hello, ma'am." "Do you know who lives here?" "He won't open up for you." "So what?" "Does a caretaker or a super have the keys?" "Snooper?" "A super." "A caretaker." "There will be no more caretakers." "No more snoopers." "No more neighbors." "No more lonely men." "Lonely man, lonely man, you shall always cherish the sea." "Shit, I'm talking gibberish." "Excuse me." "Your neighbor's banner, "Lonely man."" "Did you see it?" "What do you want?" "Your neighbor may kill himself." "He wants to blow his nuts off?" "Let him." "Instead of your pathetic sob stories, if I may, think about what's going on in the world." "Our soldiers fighting in Syldavia." "Africa." "The famine." "Not to mention Colombia." "Yes, don't mention it." "I used to hear" ""Forget about your neighbors, think of Bosnia!"" "Now the opposite." "Forget politics, think of your neighbor." "Do you know who lives there?" "We already had a suicide on the fifth floor." "The third floor!" "Not dead, just maimed." "Terribly." "But since the plastic surgery, his face is nicer." "He always looks amazed." "He used to be so serious." "It's a big difference." "But the doctors winged it." "They had no photo." "Bunch of lunatics!" "We'll go back in separately..." "So?" "Dial zero to get out." "You've reached 91 1 ." "Please hold on." "An operator will take your call." "Hello, officer." "We're in Rue de Noailles, and we can see, hanging from the fourth floor across the street, a banner, white letters on a black background:" ""Lonely man."" ""Lonely man," yes." "We knocked." "No answer." "Like he's not there." "He was rummaging!" "My friend said he rummaged about." "Lonely man in search of...?" "Nothing." "We don't know." "It just says, "Lonely man."" "We can't help if we don't know what he wants." "You won't do anything?" "What if he jumps out the window?" "You're facing his building." "If he goes onto the ledge, call us discreetly and try to make him wait." "Great idea." "What exactly should I say?" "Anything." "But avoid trigger-terms:" "happiness, prospects, tenderness, hope, second chance." "Good luck." ""Good luck" would be heavy-handed." "I said it to you." "Good luck." "No one cares." "Once more, new objectives mean betting on a new direction." "lncreasing market share." "As evidenced here, in this slide." "We're number one." "Simply because we have the best products." "Our target is very "top-qual."" "Next slide." "One moment, please." "Bitch." "Bimbo." "Limbo." "Never stay in limbo." "So once whore..." "Once more, and I can't repeat it enough, new objectives mean betting on a new erection." "New direction." "lncreasing market share." "As evidenced here, in this sleaze." "Of course, there are different strategies." "Blow job is not worth doing, and analysis lets us invaginate... envisage what the competition will use as a long-sperm strategy." "We can't stay like this, dependent on the fluctuations above 1 5%, especially if rates drop." "So if we... lf we weigh the differential by 2%, we'll be spared having to bear the cunt of the cock market-- brunt of the stock market." "Since we know his name and address, we can find his number on the net." "Let's go." " l may ask you to leave." " Listen to her!" "Answer phone." "This is your correspondent's voicemail." "Leave a message after the beep." "Hello." "Sorry to bother you." "We're worried about you, about your banner." "So if you could call us back, we'd appreciate it." "Are you a lonely man, or is it just an act?" "I won't give my name." "You don't give yours." "But here's my number:" "o6 99..." " No cell?" " lt doesn't say." "Hello!" "Ah, it's you." "I'll check." "Yeah, I do." "Don't get worked up, Mother." "No." "Yes." "You're already in Versailles." "Fine." "I'll meet you at the park." "Monthly drill." "These sirens freak me out." "You idiot." "You idiot!" "Sleep well?" "Still the same minor pain." "You open with a lovers' leap." "You'll roll a three and a one." "I call that a very good omen." "You know what Jean-Pierre Marielle says." "Jean-Pierre Marielle?" ""At 5o, if you wake up in the morning with no pain, then you're dead."" "Well put." "When's your colo?" "Colo?" "Ah, my colonoscopy!" "In a week." "It's my fifth one." "It's very common now." "In any case, from the age of 5o, life is a series of colonoscopies." "Marielle again?" "No, that's Duras." "Marguerite?" "Really?" "Still so gullible!" "We've written masterpieces, built bridges, harvested tons of wheat, taught thousands of children, but at 5o, the colonoscopies start." "Then you take your nice car, your bus, your shopping bag, and head off to your 6os." "When you get there, if you're lucky, another colonoscopy." "What's funny is that speaking like this with a friend isn't sad." "It's life." "Even though it's horrible." "Yes." "Another brandy?" "I'd love it." "I have potato chips, if you want." " Excellent!" " You like them." "Sleep, baby." "Don't worry." "We're here." "We're on the lookout." "He looks troubled." "What did war teach you?" "To partake in life's pleasures." "I eat, I drink, I breathe." "I sleep at ease." "Small things barely worry me." "What else did war teach you?" "To love wide shoes and soft collars." "To abandon the bourgeois habit of external trappings." "Can I take your chair?" "Definitely not." "I can't take the chair?" "I thought you wanted a cigarette." "How are you?" "Hello." "Hello?" "Lounging in the sun?" "What class were you?" "1 992." "Mrs. Derfuche." "You don't remember?" "My hood down to here." "Dunce caps too." "You were a real pain." " Yeah, I still am." " l can see." "I annoyed you nicely." "Just like now." "You never cracked a smile!" "Back then, when you put the cow's eye in my pocket, I wasn't amused." "Remember that?" "The rest too." "And you?" "I "do-you-speak-English" nonstop!" "We studied song lyrics." "With your chalky fingers, you'd stop Donovan in mid-song." "California?" "How ridiculous!" "Funny, I thought it was about California." "With songs, only the sound remains." "What do you do now?" "Same as usual, odd jobs." "Free as a bird." "You'll laugh." "I'm a ghost, in ghost trains at town fairs." "I travel around." "That's good." "I'm really scary." "Come with your grandkids, if you want." "I won't scare them too bad." "I'll let you go." "I want to finish my show." "See you, Mrs. Derfuche." "Good-bye..." "Thierry." " Good-bye, Thierry." " See you soon." "Yeah, right." "What else did the war teach you?" "As dangerous as they may be, we can count on them." "What else did the war teach you?" "That nothing is more useful to man than man, and nothing is better for man than man." "Three tablets a day, six in case of pain but no more than six a day." "I want us to tend to each other, but no." "Life is terrible, and we sleep and sleep." "But if we don't stay awake, our dreams become nightmares and our children's lives, terrible." "He gets out of bed at 3:oo p.m." "He'll live at home till he's 4o." "Chatting online all day." "Hasn't fucked a girl yet!" "Lost in virtual reality." "Virtual reality isn't half bad." "Babying him turned him into a jackass." "But he's not untalented." "But he won't be a cop, won't go in the army." "Says it's degrading." "These kids think they're geniuses." "He doesn't want anything." "Shoes, clothes." "He couldn't care less." "He just wants computer equipment." "She buys it for him." "She's happy." "When he was 1 8, she didn't want him in my car." "A real mother hen." "She'll sit on him till he's 45." "Sit on her son?" "Like a hen!" "That's how society is now." "It's too easy to blame it on society." "You work, period!" "You work!" "You work." "You work to..." "to make a living." "But people get fed up." "We may strike a new balance." "Unawares." "So I attached her wawa to her binkie." "Now she looks for binkie and finds wawa!" " What's that ball?" " lt's wonderful." "It's a learning ball." "It introduces children to sounds." "There are different kinds." "By pressing on them, kids learn to prioritize pitch and volume." "Too bad they can't prioritize a little more." "Why are you bald on top?" "Get lost!" "Here you are!" "Come kiss your mother." "Kid, come here!" "Chocolate pudding?" " ls that your mom?" " With Grandma." "Where's your daddy?" "He left Mom for a guy when my sister was born." "That's good." "What do you mean?" "I'll make you a plane." "You like planes?" "Why are you being nice now?" "I was always nice." "Your mommy seems nice." "What's her name?" "Lucie." "I'll give you a kiss." "And you give it to her without saying it came from me." "Okay?" "Why didn't you give me Yop before?" "It wasn't Yop." "Beat it." "Another one." " Know what Sacha Guitry said?" " He said... I'd like more potato chips." ""Observing a person asleep is like opening a letter meant for someone else."" "That wasn't Cocteau?" "In La Bruyere, a man confuses dice cup and wine glass and waters the game." "I should reread Characters." "It's very amusing." "What the hell?" "Bitch!" "What time is it?" "1 :1 2!" "No problem, then." "Hey, Gramps, got a smoke?" "My last one." "I'll take a few puffs and give it to you." "Go on, stop bargaining." "Play!" "Everyone bargains now, even in jacquet." "Not jacquet." "Backgammon." "We're playing backgammon." "Shut up, Gramps." "Throw the dice." "Give chance a chance." "That's important in life." "You look a bit like Jean Poiret." "Yeah, Jean Poiret." "Sublime Jean Poiret!" "He and Serrault were incredible." "Where are you?" "Poiret and Serrault!" "Where are they?" "Jospin, give us a break!" "Shut up!" "How does she know my name?" "Without TV at night, I'd go mad." "You wouldn't do like him, a "Lonely woman" banner." "I mean my insomnia." "It's not connected?" "Would you care about moose if you had a man in your bed?" "Sorry." "Do animals have insomnia?" "The night birds." "Bats." "You know about fruit bats?" "I'm all ears." "Pallas' long-tongued bat lives in Ecuador, in the Andes." "If it wants to, it can lick its feet." "I can also lick my..." "Without leaning over." "Its tongue is 1 5o% longer than its body." " How tall is it?" " 9o millimeter." "It's tiny." "It can lick the floor." "I'm a funk." "Punk, not funk." "A punk's not a soldier." "My grandpa fought a world war and the Algerian world war and Vietnam." "He shot with a AA-52." "My grandpa loved his sister." "Marianne, don't repeat that!" " Let's play magic tunnel." " No, war!" " What's magic tunnel?" " lt's that tunnel." "It goes to the castle." "To enter, you have to tell the guard a nice secret." "If I tell you, I go in?" "It's a secret just for me." "I'll decapitate your legs and go in anyway." "I'll whack you till you piss blood!" "Mind your tongue!" "Her brother's influence." "My son has no brother, no TV in the house..." "Where does he get it from?" "What happens in the tunnel?" "We go and make love." "I'll tell you a secret then." "I go first!" "You don't want to!" "Yeah, I go first." "Okay, then." "I'm listening." "I have a nice secret for you." "Shut up!" "My turn!" "Arthur!" "Speak nicely!" "Television..." "But we don't have a television!" "That's your nice secret?" " Yes." " lt's dumb." "What did he say?" "Quiet!" "I'll hit you!" "Shut up!" "Mom, Arthur said..." "Shut up!" "Bitch!" "Arthur, enough!" " What did you tell her?" " Nothing." "I won't say." "If you do, I'll never speak to you." "You won't be my friend anymore." "I have a nice secret for you." "The game's over." " What did he say?" " lt's a secret." "You can tell us now." "He went away." "No." "It was a secret for me." "Good girl." "You're right not to say it." "Not many people can keep a secret." "Sorry." "What was your secret?" "I won't say." "You won't say?" "Good." "You can play." "It's nice doing nothing." "You say it like it's unusual." "I need to buy a diary." "Me too." "Lots of good TV shows, so I need a diary." "is that a sparrow there?" "Just relax." " May I?" " Of course." "I don't care." "Whatever." "You're alone." "You're alone..." "You're not alone to be alone." "Everyone's alone." "I'm alone too." "I'm all alone." "But I take care of myself." "I keep on cooking for myself." "I dress very well." "I go out at night." "I cajole myself." "I said, I cajole myself!" "Sometimes I sing "Happy Birthday to Me."" "I'm hypersensitive." "You know me." "Hypersensitive, open to everything, to whatever comes along, to the cloth on a beautiful woman's skin." "I have to see you." "We have to talk." "You can't sneak off!" "Come!" "I know it's over." "I need one more caress." "You said our hearts were hand grenades." "What counts is pulling the pin." "With you, I already pulled my pin." "I'll explode all alone in this park!" "I love canned peas too." "Canned, because I like sopping up the juice in the can." "So tell me face-to-face!" "Do I have to come get you?" "Men are such cowards!" "I should have known." "The way you picked me up was so underhanded." "All innuendos and insinuations." "Now you're hinting it's over?" "Bastard!" "The first guy I see with some daring, I'm following him home!" "Picard's frozen food is good." "I really like Picard." "They do a great creme brulee." "And they deliver, which is cool." "Or else it melts in the shopping bag." "Hold on." "We got cut off." "Hello." "If you said, "Sleep with me,"" "I'd say yes on the double." "I won't be saying it." "Then I say no." "No what?" "You won't sleep with me." "Exactly." "Out of the question, anyway." "Why?" "You won't say it." "Absolutely." "It's out of the question." "Not even a question." "What question?" "Stop it!" "You want to make me talk, say things." " What things?" " Stop, I said!" "Nothing, that's all!" "Relax..." ""Nothing" is better than nothing." "It's already something." "Honestly." "You find me daring?" "Aren't I frank?" "Frankly dumb!" "Really, really dumb!" "A stupid little pony who can't stop jerking his tail!" "Guys and their pathetic plotting." "You want flattery, then do your vanishing act." "You wage wars to dazzle us, and we roam the battlefields, playing nurse!" "We toil away, and you come back, no arms, no cock!" "And we mother you!" " Cool it!" " Beat it!" "Cannon fodder!" " You beat it too." " Beat it!" "Beat it, okay?" "Got a minute?" "You beat it too." "What the hell?" "Thanks a lot for calling me." "What did she say?" "She called me a pony and a cannon fodder." "A cannon fodder?" " What's that?" " No idea." ""Cannon fodder."" "You think wars are nice?" "Very nice!" "Keep it up." "Bunch of losers!" "Starboard!" "I'm in a rush." "Borelly's here." " And this banner..." " l'm glad you came." "Me too." "I'm glad I came." "Why don't you have a boat?" "How did your interviews go?" "Nothing." "No offers." "Why not?" "I don't work, because I can't." "At least you're free." "Don't tell me that." "Yes, but you are." "I feel like nothing's tangible." "I'm living in limbo." "Be frank." "Are you in love?" "With me, I mean." "No." "Why do you say no?" "I'm not anymore." "Were you in love?" "Yes, but not any longer." "That means you were never in love." "Not true." "You know when it happened?" "Be frank." "Dinner with Bazille." "You described the sunset with a sound." "Why the noise?" "The sun doesn't dart around." "Life's not a cartoon." "At first, I found you so funny." "I like cartoons." "How will I live without your scent?" "I'll do something I've never done with you." "A forced sign of affection." "But I'll do it." "We can be so soppy." ""ARE YOU OKAY?"" "What are you doing?" "As you can see, to remove graffiti, they need a report." "I'm filling it out." "Over here too." ""FAT WHORE"" "Okay, back to work now." "A splash of Fishcool in the tank, and soon enough, your finned friends will sparkle and shine." "Once their protective mucus is restored, your discreet lodgers will regain their balance and harmony." "Fishcool, the answer to aquatic equanimity." "A splash of Fishcool in the tank..." "Where were you?" "Street marketing in the park." "The park!" "That way." "You guys are my staff." "Don't forget it." "I need you to raise standards." "Raymond, are you carrying?" "Romain." "Sure I am." "Once more, kids." "New objectives mean..." "Easy does it!" "Betting on a new direction." "lncreasing market share." "Paul, temporarily turn it down." "Our target is very "top-qual."" "We have no more room for stock." "So what's our strength?" "Service!" "Raymond, please." " My name's Romain." " Romain, sorry." "Moreover, we're overstaffed, you know, in relation to our potential." "So be aggressive." "Go and bite!" "None of you is a real shark." "You, Maurice, your name is Maurice Bejart, so give them a song and dance!" "Get it?" "No." "Just a banner?" "Yes, and it says, "Lonely man."" "What huge batteries!" "It's for Mega-Spresso, the coffee machine." "Ultramarine blue." "Mother, it may not be a boy!" "And blue is sad." "It won't be a monkey, so why those branches?" "Such ugly wallpaper!" "That's why it's on sale." "There are pretty things." "They have crappy taste." "See their aprons?" "A little whimsy is nice." "If that's whimsy, I'm shooting myself." " Don't talk nonsense." " l'm not." "Understand me... lf the customer follows you, he's interested." "For example, if you bend over for a product, and he does too, the battle's won." "Soft wood?" "I don't know." "It's wood..." "Carbonic steel or cobalt steel?" "For making holes, right?" "Holes." "Normal holes." " Take a twist bit." " Why?" "Its Morse taper shank is perfect for removing shavings." "42 euros!" "It seems fine." "I'll take it." "Could Raffarin's daddy please come to Customer Service?" "I'd like to see your portable drills." "Remember to make special offer alerts." "Fight!" "Yes, yes." "Everyone asks how much goldfish cost." "We don't sell fish." "He put them back." "Aime!" "Where is he?" "I'll shove his fish..." "You better stop." "Bretelle's watching." "You find that funny?" "Not at all." "I prefer Marsupilami's tail." "Yes?" "I need a one-handle faucet." "One-handle faucets." "This way." "Down this aisle, straight ahead..." "After the lightbulbs, turn right, past the pumps, and all the way down." "Opportune..." "Service alert." "Call Raymond." "Help that guy." "He's confused." "Sales clerk wanted in faucets!" "Cool it!" "Like on an airplane." "Smooth voice." "Sugarcoat the customers." "I'll sugarcoat..." "Talk with a smile." "A sales clerk is wanted in one-handled faucets." "Hello, sir." "You're taking all three?" "Give him a Loyalty Card." "Of course." "I was right." "Not potable." "Like it says." "The test is conclusive." "Tell me, it's not too..." "Too?" "What's the word?" "My house isn't a bunker." "It's not reinforced concrete." "That drill works on all kinds of walls." "Load-bearing walls, flimsy partitions, concrete... lt's the bit." "Careful..." " lf you please?" " lf you please." "It's a thin partition but a big headache." "I want to attack it well-armed, if you follow me." "I don't want to bore right through it." "I thought you were knocking it down." "That's one of the possibilities." "For the time being, I can't decide." "No, no, no." "If you please... lt's best that you ask my colleague." "He sent me to you." "He didn't know." " What?" " A screw anchor." "What are you screwing?" "I'm attaching paneling to some BA 1 3 in my room." "It's hollow, so I'm a bit confused." "I was thinking an expanding anchor." "Why are you screwing?" "Just glue it." "Don't bother screwing into BA 1 3." "I have a dream glue." "Simple, easy to apply." "Dries in a jiffy, inexpensive, invisible." "I'd even describe it as sensual." "Really?" "Can I help you?" "It's loose." "Yes." "It's not loose." "No." "Sorry." "Can I help you?" "You and your damn wallpaper!" "A faucet specialist is needed in the faucet aisle." "The Bazook." "Serious stuff." "You want the lowdown?" "You're in good hands." "Perforator-engraver." "Accelerated hit rate:" "57,ooo a minute." "Automatic variation conservation." "It looks very..." "state-of-the-art." "Optimized cooling, and the motor:" "a Buchor 24 with a safety clutch, of course." "Isn't there a..." "No, there isn't." "I want a double-injection laser tracer, three filters, and a Beuk DCA-7, Fergussun, and 1 8 Advantex cartridges." "But I need some information about the Beuk DCA-7." "No problem." "I'd rather you ask a colleague." "Your competence levels vary." "The Beuk DCA is very particular." "Can I have a demonstration?" "Of course." "Here you have the control panel with its built-in screen." "That's the emergency light." "Nice." "Gets your juices flowing." "At what speed does it perforate?" "Well, it's variable." "It allows you to perforate..." "That's the demonstration." "What else does it do?" "As you can see, the thing spins around." "Careful." "Cool." "Pretty cool." "I'd like to... lt's over now." "Sit." "Very good." "I really like the cooling system." "Before, it was underneath." "Now it's on top." "Very practical." "It's not stopping." "It's still on." "It's just the inertia." "Now it's slowing down." "You're a pain!" "I'm fed up!" "Asshole!" "What a nightmare!" "This socket costs a fortune!" "The nerve of you!" "What do you think?" "46 euros for a socket." "Sock it to me!" "Don't get so worked up!" "Want some herbal tea?" "What's wrong?" "Husband trouble?" "If he's fixing up the house, then he's faithful." "He's doing it out of guilt." "Retiling the bathroom isn't enough." "Give him a break." "A pretty girl like you..." "Buy him some mortar." "Stockar does good mortar." "Let's see." "Who cares about the color?" "You're wrong." "Almond grouting is very nice." "Think so?" "Based on what I see of your personality..." "This is a compliment." "You're a little devil." "I like my job." "Live alone?" "I may." "You may?" "May." "May what?" "May, June, July, August, September." "I see." "See what?" "That you're a devil." "Where the devil are you off to?" "Maurice?" "Paul?" "Do you have... doormats?" "Yes." "In the back of the store." "Ask for Romain." "He'll be happy to help." "Very kind of you." "Romain?" "Romain?" "Romain?" "Yes, yes?" "Come in." "Hello, Romain." "Hello." "I'd like... a doormat." "They're all here." "Help yourself." "Plenty of choice." "We can print your initials on them." "No, no triumphalism." "Or else we can print "Welcome."" "It's not always the case." "You can put "Bad Dog."" "My dog is dead." "Then you can put "Bad Wife."" "My wife's very nice." "Then you can put "Good Wife."" "But then I wouldn't be able to wipe my feet on it." "Never go higher than five." "Yes." "I think I'll take a smaller one." "Take the..." "Mini-Bazook." "Small but...powerful." "At Brico Dream, we're a team, to help you find the right palette for the summer." "Also check out our plasters in the paint department." "1 5% off melamine shelves." "What the hell?" "Not the melamine shelves." "I'm hallucinating." "She didn't invent the Post-it." "Our lampshades are still on sale." "3o% off selected models for a soft, warm glow in every room of your house." "Do you have Sporgex?" "Sporgex liquid or Sporgex foam?" "Shit, she didn't say." "How's your wife?" "Fine." "We listened to Aime and took a kayak trip." "How's your wife, Maurice?" "The second operation went well." "Still intubated but okay." "I'm sorry." "It's true, I..." "Yes, Ducky..." "No, I'm glad you called." "Thanks very much." "Love you too." "Thanks for the tip." "What tip?" "How was your vacation with Ducky?" "Was it good?" "Pretty good." "What's her name again?" " Lucie." " Oh, yeah?" "Her name's not Virginie?" "Her name was never Virginie." "What did she give you for your birthday?" "A stupid game." "You fish stuff out." "If you touch the edge, it buzzes, and the nose lights up." " That was your present from Virginie?" " Lucie." "He's got a screw loose-y." "My overstaffed staff, get moving!" "We have confused customers." "Did you see my anchor maneuver?" "Did you take notes?" "Instead of four screw anchors at 1 o cents each, she bought a tube of glue at 7 euros." "She's thrilled." "That's selling power!" "You okay?" "What's this?" "A customer was fiddling with it." "No fiddling with the wazziters!" "These things aren't selling!" "Let's knock 3o% off." "Raymond!" "Change the price tags on the wazziters!" "3o% off!" "Don't scream!" "And it's not Raymond." "It's Romain." "Ma'am?" "My cabinet is perishing." " We'll have a look." " My husband gave up." "Let me relieve you of this." "My grandfather made it for me, when I was a child." "Of course..." "Let's have a look." "The partition is diseased." "We can give it some curative injections and preventive ones elsewhere." "Can you keep it here?" "We can't do anything." "I'll give you Cyano Chiolate." "Spread it all over the infected areas." "From now on, you can't put any weight on it." "You mean I can no longer use it?" "I'm afraid not." "The partition is eaten away." "Ideally, you should remove the partition." "We'll remove it for you." "We'll do it on the double, please." "Go on." "It's in good hands." "I want a massive dose of Cyano Chiolate." "What is Cyano-shit-alot?" "Cyano Chiolate." "Follow me..." "A kind of glue." "A dream glue." "They'll look brand-new." "The exclusive formula is comprised of microscopic crystals that equalize wood and plastic surfaces." "Solid as a rock!" "I won't be jumping on it." "Of course not." "Don't pay any attention." "It's just a sales pitch." "Want some herbal tea?" "Herbal tea." "We have an eco-friendly waiting area." "It's very cozy." "Have a seat." "Take your time." "We offer a selection of Relaxa Teas." "A steel trowel." "Wood handles, plastic handles." "How much are they asking?" "They don't kid around." "Give me all that!" "Go help your brother." "Good-bye." "Thank you." "Good-bye." "Hello." "Why are you sitting in the baskets?" "You don't have a drink!" "Nice cup of tea... I don't know this stuff, but it has a nice calming effect." "Drink up." "I'll have to relocate my shell collection." "Just stick them somewhere else." "They're delicate." "Two beautiful Venus combs with long teeth." "Can you hear the sea?" "It's silly." "I always believed about how you hear the sea in your ears..." "Objects we like should be displayed." "Keep your Anus combs out." "Venus!" "I'll have some of this weed tea." "They require a display case." "Tell me, are you the type to tidy up everything, every day, or to alternate tidiness with messiness, disorder, disarray?" "Not tidying up is a form of narcissism." "Because I'm knocking 3o% off melamine shelves, and I thought..." "Do you have polyplots?" "Polyplots 1 2 or 25?" "25, but ustensorial." "lnvitiated?" "I'd prefer." "But size four." "I'm all out of four." "They don't make them anymore." "The Chinese don't use four." "It's only three or five." "You have to make a four with three or five." "The Chinese again." "Want to see them?" "Japanese, Chinese..." "They're useful." "You don't say, "l'm all out."" "You say, "They're on order."" "Take care of the lady." "Our objects will survive us." "Not if we don't take care of them." "You like your tools?" "Ever hear of Petit Pierre?" "No." "His whole life long, he built a huge merry-go-round, which he maintained and operated every day." "The deaf-mute who did everything with scrap metal in the Loiret." "On his deathbed, you think he asked about his merry-go-round?" "Yes?" "No?" "No." "He asked about his tools." "You idiot!" "The man who invented Boursin made a fortune." " Hello, Opportune." " Hello, Mr. Verite." "You okay?" "I'm fine." "A little tired." "I see." "It shows." "Yeah, it shows." "is Aime here?" "There are other clerks." "I like Aime because we understand each other." "I'll call him." "Aime is requested at Customer Service." "Aime, come here!" "He'll be here in a minute." "Surveillance." "It's important..." "security." "Are you hiding?" "This is my wife, Barbara." "Yes?" "I didn't hear." "I was talking about..." "Why me?" "We understand each other." "I have a minor comment." "Last Wednesday, I bought a yellow hook." " Remember?" " Yes." "I wanted to hang a bathrobe on it." " Or pajamas." " Please, Babs." "When I nailed it in, I destroyed my wall." "You shouldn't sell those things." "No problem." "I nailed it to the closet." " lt's fixed." " So what?" "This isn't why I came." "Why then?" "I'm getting there." "I have a space, an area." "It's very roomy." "But it's not fully utilized." "Babs wants to turn it into a room." " What is it now?" " A garage." "No beating around the bush." "It's a garage." "The problem is that I have my car... I didn't dent it." "Babs' mom has bad eyes." " She dented my car." " Okay...and?" "I want..." "To get back to the garage..." "Stop it, Billy!" "I want to turn it into something warm and inviting." "Enough!" "Warm and inviting." "lnviting but also practical." "Because a garage is a garage." "The door goes up and down." "Where's the car?" "It's not inside?" "In the garage." "In the room." "The future room." "Please, Babs, don't make things worse." "So I thought... maybe you'd have an idea." "What is it?" "I'm thinking..." "And?" "Not bad." "New product from Clair de Lunette." "No-toil phosphorescent toilet seat." "No shock in the midst of your dreams." "No need for the bathroom light at night." "Easy to see glow-in-the-dark target." "Airtight closing mechanism... lt works." "Perfectly visible." "It's smart." "Very clever." "A really great idea." "It'd be funny to place it somewhere else!" "Mankind is really amazing." "Constantly inventing." "Do you gift wrap?" "You sleep in there?" "Not in the house?" "We rented out the house." "It no longer belongs to us." "You know what we did yesterday?" "Know what?" "We had a picnic." "Beautiful day, so we picnicked in the car!" "Isn't that funny?" "We lower the windows to pass the peanuts around." "Funny." "But that's not why we're here." "What exactly can I do for you?" "Listen, I had an idea." "Tell me what you think, honestly." "I thought we could make a sort of hearse." " ls "hearse" the word?" " A hoist." "A hoist is what I meant." "A hoist, and I'll suspend the bed from above." "From the ceiling." "Babs, keep out of it." "So we have more room below." " l have a call." " l didn't hear." " Vibrating alert." " lt's very discreet." "Yes." "I'm sorry, Ducky." "Yes, Ducky... lt's better if..." "Forget about me?" "It's like..." "you're not entirely here." "Been drinking?" "You smell like a boozehound." "You have something on your back." "Looks ridiculous." "Maurice, don't stare at each leaf." "Scatter them around, so it looks haphazard." "Paul, don't just stand there." "Help your coworker with the streamer." "Not on the moose head." "Unbelievable!" "Give me that." "Try explaining." "I can't understand him well." "Give him a paper and pen." "Write it down." "Draw instead." "You were drilling a hole." "And you ran away." "The drill was spinning too fast." "Hungry." "An animal?" "Putting up shelves!" "Pierced the wall!" "And the hairy thing behind it." "What hairy thing?" "A rabbit?" "A fish?" "A hamster?" "The animal spun around on the drill." "You wore a wig." "It was your daughter's hamster." "Let's go have some herbal tea..." "Aime, the drill is losing air." ""At Brico-Dream, we make you scream."" "Fill it with helium." "He doesn't know how." "Hello." "Where are the wheelbarrows?" "And you have diaries?" "Yes, yes." "Be right back." "What have they concocted for us?" "Beware." "Touch with your eyes." "Hello." "I'm looking for fish." "And those?" "For the wheelbarrow, Robin said to ask you." "Can't I have a few?" "I bought some to give as a gift, and they just got electrocuted." "Are you okay?" "Don't I know you?" "We took a plane together?" "Yes?" "I know they're yours, but I'd appreciate it." "It's no problem at all." "For the modest sum of 3o euros, you get the fish, the sand, the aquarium, and for the trip, a splash of Fishcool." "It relaxes them." "Sort of like herbal tea." "What did they do?" "What about my wheelbarrow?" "No, no." "That's the auxiliary." "Cut the battery." "Not the red one, the black." "It's nothing at all." "The Beuk DCA is polyvalent, as you can see." "One of its functions is tunneling." "It's a home tunneler." "Speed racer!" "Damn." "They opened the champagne!" "Only once we've reached our objectives." "We're toasting for another reason." "Really?" "Yes, to celebrate Mrs. Renivelle's retirement." "I see!" "Who?" "Renivelle." "Solange Renivelle." "Shut off the helium!" "My dear madam..." "Revinelle..." "Renivelle, Renivelle." "These gifts... very modest, but which nevertheless attest to this friendship... this friendship and this camaraderie which we feel... which we feel deeply, which you feel and which we feel, which everyone attests for you, of course." "One last word..." "Bravo." "A special sponge for cleaning windows." "What a good idea!" "Thank you!" "Wait, there's more." "An adorable object for my night table." "This is the pump." "The pump." "Thank you." "I'm so spoiled." "Wonderful." "You didn't overexert yourselves." "What about the fish?" "And here are your new friends." "I'm very moved." "I didn't expect... I didn't expect an aquarium." "I was thinking a trip." "But don't get me wrong!" "I prefer this!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thanks to all of you in particular and each one in general." "I'd like to thank this company, now a subsidiary." "This company which allowed me to meet the handsome men who punctuated my modest career." "I'm going to love these friendly fish." "I'll give them your names." "That one there is Mr. Borelly." "We started together in Exports." "And that's..." "Simon." "The seminar in Lens." "And Charles, who was so passionate." "On the job." "And so many others." "Gary!" "Where's Gary, our custodian?" "Gary!" "Don't be shy!" "Come forward!" "Thank you." "Look." ""l'm Aime Mermot." ""l'm speechless." "Thank you."" "He didn't see our banner." "I still think your joke sucked." "Why did they shut off the lights?" "Why do you think?" "Or else they're French kissing." "Closing time... 8:oo p.m." "Closes at 8:oo." "Welcome, pal." "Newcomers go here." "It's gonna blow!" "Trust me." "No need to say more." "You got it." "I know about smart girls like you." "What do you know about smart girls?" "I know more than enough." "Go on..." "You started, now continue." "I won't remind you of the phone supposedly off the hook." "No, don't say anything." "Okay, then." "I'll stop." "You get the picture."