"I just remembered, I owe you money." "Well, thank you for sparing me the awkward confrontation." " Are you starting to feel exploited?" " Yeah, but in a good way." " Go ahead." " Yeah." " Are you looking at my balance?" " It's okay." "Size isn't everything." "Funny." "So does bad music make people deaf or do deaf people have really bad taste in music?" "Well, there is Beethoven." " Come on, let's go." " What the fuck is that shit?" " Hurry." " My receipt." " Come on, that's all right, just..." " Look, it's all yours." "Do you think you can do that kind of offensive shit in public?" " We're sorry, man, we didn't..." " Oh, he's sorry, huh?" "Look, Pete, let's go." " Fuck you, man!" " Fuck you!" "Fuck!" "Run!" "Help!" "The other one got away." "Fucking freak!" "Fucking pervert!" "Read a Bible, you pervert!" "Johnny, come on." "Come on, let's go." "Come on." "Okay, here we go with Uncle Nate." " You got him?" " Just about." " Put your hand under there." "There we go." " All right, I got him." "I got him." "Okay, but don't hold him like he's a football." "It's more like you're carrying a watermelon." " All right." " See?" " Okay." " Adjust, adjust, adjust." "There you go." "Hey, there, little guy." "Who looks just like his daddy, huh?" "When a baby's born it always looks more like its father which is nature's way of establishing paternity." "We're hoping he grows out of it." "Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he will." "Oh, yes, yes." "David, come meet Augusto." "I just have to get Mr. Perlmutter dressed for his viewing." "David, please, come take one look at him." "Nate was an extremely gassy baby, always crying." "David, on the other hand, hardly ever made a peep." "When are you guys gonna grow up and make this woman a grandmommy?" "Well, certainly not until after Mr. Perlmutter's got some clothes on." "You know, it's kind of funny, me coming back to school in a hearse." "It's hilarious." "This sucks." "Does everybody know?" "I don't know." "Who'd you tell?" "No, I mean, like, did they make an announcement or something?" "Don't you think you would've gotten, like, a couple of cards if they had?" "No." "It's not cool to OD." "Freaks people out." "Who gives a fuck what these people think?" "Everyone's too obsessed with what people think about them to think about anyone else." "You're a freak." "Yeah, well, so are you." "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" " That's the guy who OD'd." " Yeah, it is." "What the fuck are you looking at?" "What, you called me over here to show me a picture of you and the gravedigger?" "I need your key back, because you've crossed a line and I don't feel like I can trust you anymore." " You think I took that picture?" " I will not play this game with you!" "I won't deal with you when you're off your meds because I don't even know who you are." "For someone with so much animosity towards the psychiatric profession you sure love to push pharmaceuticals." "Makes sense, as you're no stranger to medication yourself." "You're sick, Billy." "You have to stay on your medication or you get scary, okay?" "You're not scared of me." "I'd never hurt you." "You're the most important person in my life." "Yeah, well, did you ever stop to think that maybe that's fucked up?" " I'm sorry." " Don't be sorry." "Just..." "Just take the meds." "Okay." "I promise." "Now give me the key." "I just told you I'd take the medication, Brenda." "I just..." "I just told you I'd take the medication!" "Jesus Christ, you don't have to be such a bitch!" "When did you turn into Mom?" "Okay." "I don't give a shit." "You want your fucking key?" "Great." "Here, take all the fucking keys." "I could have an extra copy at home." "Yeah, I could always change the locks." "Do you know how easy it would be to break into this place?" "I'd like you to go now." "Get your wet suit, clothing, robes." "Take them." "I just told you I'd take the medication, Brenda!" "I told you I would take the medication, please." "You have to take care of yourself now." "I can't do it, not anymore." "Please, Brenda, you're the only person I can talk to." "You're the only one that hears me." "Billy, you have to get a life of your own, okay?" "Please." "You probably read about it." "It was on the news what happened to Marc." "Yes." "The coroner still has his..." "They still have him." "In situations like this, when there's been violence the family may prefer a closed casket." " No." " Honey, I think he looks pretty bad." "I have to see him." "I brought some pictures, so you'll know what he looks like." "Wasn't he such a beautiful boy?" "Why does a thing like this happen?" "Come on, now, we all know why this happened." "That is not a reason." "It's the only reason." "If he wasn't..." "He'd be alive today." "You know, I was always so worried about AIDS." "I never even thought that just being out on the street..." "What is wrong with people?" "Could've told him this happens." "I would've too if he'd ever just talked to us about it, ever come out and told us what he was." " Well, what do you expect, Marcus?" "You can't even say it." "Hey, Dave." "I'll be right with you." "Okay, okay." " Jesus." " Oh, boy." "Okay, Cinderella we're gonna have to work overtime to get you ready for the ball because men don't make passes at girls with big gashes." "That was funny, right?" "Daddy's Mr. Funnyman." "Let me just run Augusto upstairs, and I'll be right back down to do him." "I can handle this, Federico." "Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" "That's a pretty tough job, Dave." "The skull's all shattered up there." "You might have to rebuild the tissue on his cheek." "I can do it." "Hey, thanks, man." "I'm so damn tired I can barely see straight." " Get some rest." " You bet." "Good luck." "Let's go, buddy." "Let's go, buddy." "Let's go." "And I told him not to come around for a while." " That's it?" " Oh, what else could I do, Nate?" "You could talk to the police." "You could get a restraining order." "I don't need you to tell me how to handle this." "That is so arrogant and patronizing." "I just need you to listen to me." "You can't just wait for the next fucked-up thing Billy does." "You need to do something now." "Do you think that was easy for me, just cutting him off like that?" "Do you even comprehend what it's like to be responsible for someone your whole life?" "Do you even get the concept of loving somebody that much?" "Yes, I get that concept." "He's sick." "He's not just sick, he's dangerous." "He built a bomb." "He broke into our hotel room and took pictures of us in bed." " What's he gonna do next time?" " I took his key away from him." "Yeah, well, he didn't have a key in Vegas." "That didn't keep him out." "I'm sorry." "I know you don't trust your parents but I really think they're right on this." "He needs to be somewhere." "This is so not how I need you to be right now." " What are you doing?" " I don't wanna discuss this with you." "In fact, you know what?" "Why don't we just take some time off?" "You dump Billy, so now you're gonna dump me?" "Don't you fucking analyze me!" "You might as well throw away your key, because I changed the lock." "Where's Claire?" "Well, she claims to be at a movie, but what do I know?" "Nobody ever tells me what's really going on." "That boy who got beat up on the street was he doing something?" "He was getting cash." "Didn't you read the paper?" "Yes, I just thought you might know more about it." "Do you like the hen?" "Yeah, very much." "What did you stuff it with?" "Chestnuts, bread crumbs, celery." "Do you wanna know all the ingredients?" "No, thanks." "Are you going out tonight?" "No, not tonight." "Are you?" "Me?" "No." "But, you know sometimes I do see Hiram on occasion." "And I know you don't like that but I also know you love me no matter who I see in my private life." "Well, that's good, Mom." "Why'd you drop jazz vocals sophomore year?" "Because the music teacher was a crackhead." "I'm serious, Claire." "So am I. He got busted and fired, and then jazz vocals was discontinued." "Do your homework." "What happened with the literary magazine?" "Censorship." "I wrote this totally, like, harmless like, cartoon story about this girl who can make people's heads explode and apparently it was too disturbing to publish." "The debate team?" "They debated what the prom theme should be." "I mean, God, the people in this school, they have the mentality of teenagers." " You are a teenager." " Yes but I actually think about things beside trying to figure out how to puke after lunch without anyone noticing." "So, what do you do for fun?" "I don't know." "What do you do for fun?" "I go bowling with my friends." "I take hikes with my girlfriend." " I bake." " You bake?" "Your turn." "I read." "I go online and make up freaky cyber identities." "You know, sometimes I'm a Scientologist." "Sometimes I'm a young, Christian wife." "What about friendships that are based on the truth?" "Any of those?" "Sometimes I hang out with Parker McKenna." "I kind of like her even though she's pretty much a split-personality freak." "Dating anyone?" "Dating?" "You mean, like, getting drunk and screwing?" " Lf that's what it is." " Yeah, that's what it is." "No, I'm not." "Keith, got a minute?" "Yeah, sure." "What's up?" "I wanna put you on security for the Marc Foster funeral on Thursday." "Okay, why?" "The wackos turn out for these things." " Why me?" " Come on, Keith." "You're a good, smart cop, and you use your head before you use your gun, all right?" "So it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm gay, right?" "What do you wanna do, sue me for discrimination or show up and protect this kid's family?" "Oh, God, I look like something Chef Boyardee makes." "So you never told your parents you were gay either?" "Oh, please, they knew." "I just didn't want my dad making me feel guilty about it all the time." "Maybe he could've accepted it if you'd given him a chance." "You heard him." "He thinks it's my fault I'm dead." "That's not what he was saying." "He was saying it's a sick world." " I'm the one who was sick." " Shut up." "So I liked men." "I never should've given in to it." "It's not what God intended." "I could've had a family and a normal life." "You could've too." "That life would've been a lie and unfair to your wife and children who would've hated you." "Not if I never looked back." "Not if I had faith." "God challenges us like this, so we'll choose good so we'll triumph over evil." "Only thing is, so few of us do." "It's not a choice." "God already made the choice for you." "That's just liberal propaganda to justify your own depravity, Jim." "No matter how nice you fix me up, I'm still going to hell, and you know it because you're going there too." "Brenda, pick up the phone." "Don't just lay there and say, "Fuck you."" "Okay, I'm sorry I pissed you off." "I know you're under a lot of pressure but so am I." "So let's talk about it, okay?" "Call me." "Hey." "Yes, this is Fisher  Sons." "Can I help you?" "I'm terribly sorry." "Yes, we can pick up the body..." "The deceased." "Which morgue?" "A residence, okay." "What's the address?" " Robbie?" " Oh, I'm sorry, did my tree hit you?" " Do you have a moment?" " Well, I don't know, Ruth." "I got a whole big bunch of ferns out back I gotta cut up so you can make some more of those beautiful, one-of-a-kind arrangements." "How did you tell your parents you were..." "Into flowers?" "Well, it was obvious from the beginning." "My first word was "perennial."" "How did you tell them you were gay?" "What makes you think I am gay?" "Just because I have a refined aesthetic you make assumptions about my personal life?" "I'm so sorry." "You're not gay?" "Yes, I'm gay." "But I certainly don't see how that's any of your business." "Do I ask you about your intimate sexual life even though it is on full display in the workplace?" "No, I do not." "I tolerate the repercussions, but I don't pry." "I'm sorry." "I'm asking because my son..." "Oh, dear Lord, save it for Geraldo." "Someone in the family shows signs of homosexuality and suddenly it's a national crisis." "Coming out to my parents." "Honestly, why don't you tell me the most horrible moment from your intimate past?" " It was horrible?" " It's none of your business." "I'm sorry I offended you, Robbie." "That is a shitty place for the lily." "Mr. Jacoby?" "Oh, fuck." "Jesus, Billy, you fucking psycho." "Did I get you?" "Come on, man, it's paint." "Why aren't you laughing?" "I don't think it's funny." "Oh, no, it's just plain fun." "You know, if you mix up the letters in "funeral," you get "real fun."" "How much do you love that?" "You stay away from my sister." "She's just a kid." "Now, that's kind of ironic, don't you think?" "You telling me that." "What'd they tell you?" "They tell you I made a bomb?" "They tell you who it was for?" "I know you wrote things about your family." "Liar!" "Don't fucking lie to me." "He thought he was such a genius, everybody thought." "He even had Brenda fooled, which blows my mind." "Well, okay, she was young." " Are you talking about Dr. Feinberg?" " No, Trevor, you fucking moron." "Trevor." "Perfect fucking Trevor." "He thought he was the king of Brenda, which is such adolescent shit as if you could know somebody for a few months and replace their whole life." "Their family." "Brenda's not allowed to love anyone as much as she loves you?" "Able." "She's not able." "You know what?" "You're right." "Bren never even told me about Trevor." "She doesn't trust me." "You don't get to call her that." "You call her Brenda." "You know, she broke up with me today." " Really?" " Yeah." "Took away my key." "Well, it's probably for the best." "You and Brenda was never a good idea." "Yeah, tell me about it." "Listen, I gotta go, so you take care." "Hey." "Hey." " Ready to go?" " Yeah, just give me a second to recover." "Still bad, huh?" "It's just fucking tiring trying to act normal all day." "I know what you mean." "So, what's the stupidest thing anyone's said to you today?" "Packy Walker told me that he once had to get his stomach pumped because he ate his dog's deworming pills." "He thought they were ludes." "Well, isn't it comforting to know that being miserable is still better than being an idiot?" "All right." "You wanna hear the most horrible moment from my intimate past?" "No, sister, I do not." "I was married to my husband for 30 years." "I never slept with another man until I started having sex with my hairdresser." "And the first time my hairdresser friend and I had intercourse he asked me to pleasure myself, so he would know you know, how I did that." "And I couldn't." "Because I had never pleasured myself in my life." "I was 52 years old." "And I had to learn how to..." "Masturbate." "From a hairdresser." "Oh, my." "Oh, my." "Well, Ruth, thank you for sharing that." "But I'm still not gonna tell you about coming out to my parents." " Why not?" " Because I never did, cupcake." "My daddy would've never spoken another word to me and my mother would've just gone insane, right there on the spot." "How do you know?" "A child knows what his parents need him to be." "My mother is one of those women that never did anything but raise children." "So, if you came out wrong, like the opposite of what she was trying to make you into, then, you know her whole life is a failure." "I'm not like that." "Did he ever actually threaten you?" "Telling the new boyfriend you wanted the old boyfriend dead while you're playing with a knife." "Yeah, that seems like a threat to me." "How come you never told me about Trevor?" "It's such ancient history." "You said you'd never been serious about anyone." "I was 18." " Did you love him?" " Yes." "So, what happened?" "Billy got sick." "Trevor went to Yale without me." "Billy got rid of him because he was jealous." "Everyone was jealous of Trevor." "He was ridiculously gifted one of those people everybody secretly hates because he's good at everything and always gets what he wants." " Well, he didn't get you." " Oh, please." "He could do better." "He did, actually." "The woman he married won the National Book Award last year." "You know, you're ridiculously gifted too." "You could be one of those people who has everything." "If you don't wanna deal with this, I might have to wanna call your parents." "Well, you might have to wanna call my parents but unfortunately, they're in South Africa at the moment." "I have absolutely no idea how to contact them." "Would you stop fucking around?" "I love you, and I'm sure whatever you feel about me you don't wanna see me dead." "Are you okay?" "No." "Do you want me to take you to a doctor?" "What, now you think I'm crazy too?" "No, no." "Goddamn it, why are you shutting me out?" "I just wanna be alone, okay?" "I just wanna go to sleep." "Well, good night." "Why didn't you tell me about your relationship with Gabriel Dimas?" "I guess I just wasn't in the mood for a lecture on inappropriate friends." "What makes you think I'd do that?" "Well, some people don't think he's the greatest influence." "And what do you think?" "I think that I'm as much of an influence on him as he is on me so it's not like it only goes one way." "Right." "Relating to another person is a way that we relate to a part of ourselves." "It's like, he's, like, an extreme version of me, you know?" "I can see that." "But what he's going through, it's so much more." "But I understand, you know?" "Feeling like you've got this shadow over you all the time." "What's your shadow?" "Death, I guess." "Death and silence." "Is that crazy?" "What's the silence?" "I don't know." "It's, like, sadness or fear, maybe." "It's, like, you know, everybody's so scared that they're gonna say the wrong thing because, like, you know, when you bury someone that's, like, the most sensitive time in a person's life." "So it's, like, my family, they're just so careful." "It's like they almost become invisible." "That was heavy." "What's going on?" "Nothing." "I'm just being a freak." "You don't have to be afraid that you'll say the wrong thing." "That's just it." "I'm not." "I mean, I do say the wrong thing." "But, it's, like, this is gonna sound stupid but, like, I talk so much shit all the time, you know." "And that's just another way to not say..." "Whatever." "To not say what?" "I'm not here for the school or for your mom." "I'm just here for you." "This is confidential, right?" "Gabe didn't OD by accident." "He did it on purpose, I think." "Well, most ODs aren't really just accidents." "Right, so, what can I do as the friend of a person who would do something like that?" "Like, I know all the "I can't save him" stuff, and I went to the websites." "And it's all, like, what you can't do." "So, what can I do?" "Try not to make yourself invisible." "This isn't about me." "That's not a very good start, is it?" "At least my tie can be straight, right?" "You should've left me the way I was." "Let the world see me for who I really am an abomination of nature." "Shut up." "Who you are is nothing to be ashamed of." "That's a little hard to buy, coming from somebody who cruises for dick on the Internet and has unsafe sex with prostitutes." "They made a shrine at the place where you died with pictures of you and flowers." "People go there and hold candles in your honor." " What people?" " Your friends, your community." "Bleeding-heart faggots with nothing better to do." "Guys who fucked me when they were drunk and then never called me back." "There are people who love you." "But not as many as hate me and you." "Nice job." "Man, that is the best work you've ever done, David." " Thanks." " Nice, very nice." "Hey, there's, like, 200 homos outside." "Oh, shit." "Already?" "It's only a quarter of." "You'd think the family wouldn't want all of that coming in here, you know?" "All of what?" "There's this one guy, he's dressed like Jackie Kennedy." "You think this guy's mother really needs to see that today?" "How'd you get those abrasions on his cheek so smooth-looking?" "I used diaper rash cream." "You left some." "You know, Rico, I'm a homo." "I may not dress like Jackie Kennedy, but I have sex with men." "Don't..." "Don't talk to me about that." "All right?" "Why should I hide it from you?" "You change your baby's diaper in my house." "You show me a videotape of your wife giving birth." "Where I come from if men need to do that sometimes they don't talk about it." "They don't leave their families." "They're men." "I am a man!" "So I took the height of tree A and divided it by the length of shadow B." "So do you see how I got to tangent C?" "Since when were you such a trig bitch?" "Don't get me wrong." "I know it's totally pointless." "Just somehow, teaching you makes it seem more interesting." "It must be the power." "Well, you are a very stimulating teacher." "I love your grasp of the material." "Well, maybe we should grasp the next one." "Which one?" "Number five." "Come on." " What is it?" " Oh, nothing." "Allergies." "Hey, come on." "I'm scared." "It's okay." "I'm scared too." "I'm scared you're gonna disappear." "I'm not gonna disappear." "What are you scared of?" "I'm scared I'm not gonna finish my math homework." "Hey, I told you." "I'm scared that you are too good for me." "Oh, you're crazy." "I finally find a woman I wanna commit to, and she makes it totally impossible." "You think that's a coincidence?" "What is that supposed to mean?" "Maybe if she made it easier, you wouldn't be so eager." "I need more garlic." "You've always been bored with the girls you could have and fascinated with the ones you couldn't." "Yeah, well, whose fault is that?" "Your brother's gay, isn't he?" "I think that's a question for him." "Has he told you?" "No, he has not told me." "But it's obvious." "Everyone knows." "Am I supposed to say something?" "I tried to discuss it." "He wouldn't let me." "I guess he doesn't wanna talk about it." "It's not good for him to skulk around like that." "He's very tense." "It's not good for him." " Breathe, Mom." " I know how to breathe!" "I don't appreciate you blaming me for all your problems, thank you very much." "Your carrots are burning." "Haven 't you seen a little girl called Bunny?" " About your age," " No," " A new girl," " No," "With a dress, just like yours," "Look, there's no point in questioning the children," "What are you doing here?" "I know what to do." "I know how to fix it." "Yeah?" "Fix what?" "Oh, it was a big mistake." "But I'm gonna fix it, okay?" "Oh, my God, Billy, what have you...?" " Did you hurt him?" " No, no, no, I fixed it." " Oh, God." " See, I can't be him anymore." "He's somebody else now." "I did it for you." "Now we can bury him." "And the best part is now the nurse won't ever be able to find him." "You've lost a lot of blood." " Let me get a towel." " We just have to get yours now." "This way, you'll be safe from her too for the first time." "Then we can bury them, and you and I can be new people." "And we can forget about everything bad that they wrote." "I don't want us to be new people." "I like us the way we are." "Well, I already did it, Brenda, so you have to do it too." "Okay." "Give me the knife." " I wanna do it." " No, you did yours." "I should do mine." "Nathaniel saved Isabel on the sailboat." "It's a book." "It's fiction." "He saved her for the first time." "She always saved him before." "Nathaniel and Isabel are not real." "I need to do it." "Billy, get off!" "Billy, get off me!" "I'm warning you." "This is gonna hurt." "Yes, hello." "I need an ambulance." " It's in the Bible." " Your son's burning in hell." " God hates fags." " God hates morons." " The wages of sin is death and AIDS." " Amen." "You leave these people alone, or so help me..." " It's my right to be here." " This is America." "It's my right to tell the truth." "God killed Marc Foster, and I'm here to celebrate." "God just shoved your stomach into your lungs, and I'm here to celebrate!" " Look, God just got you in the face." " What's wrong with you?" "He started it." " You all right?" " That man ought to be arrested." " We'll take care of it." "Watch yourself." " I demand that man be arrested!" "This is a funeral." "Show some respect." " What happened?" "Did something happen?" " No, nothing happened." " I'm sorry." " Don't apologize to me." "Damn, you messed that guy up." "No, I'm sorry for how I've been." "I'm just..." "I'm sorry." "You know, I have to work not to be worrying about you all the time." "You could get yourself killed if..." " lf what?" " Lf that's what you want." " That's not what I want." " Are you sure?" "Yes." "I'm sorry for how I was with you when we were together." "I don't know why it's so hard for me." "It's hard for all of us." "But you know that you're right, that you're a good man." "For me it's like I agree with them, you know?" "Like it is my fault, and I should be able to fix it." " There's nothing to fix." " But it's not who I wanna be." "I wanna be the guy at church with the kid on his knee." "You can have a kid on your knee, David." "That guy probably hasn't slept with his wife in five years." "I feel like my father would hate me if he knew." "You told me he did know." "And he never said anything." "Did you?" "Would you shut up?" "My mother'll fry your balls for breakfast if she catches you in here." "Nice." "So is that pretty much what you eat in a funeral home?" "Yeah, why?" "Hey." "I had Billy committed." "Mom?" "Are you okay?" "I have a terrible headache." " Well, maybe we can talk later." " What?" "What?" "I'm gay." "Why didn't you ever tell me?" " I am telling you." " Before, before." " Don't you trust me?" " What do you mean?" "I'm telling you." "But I've tried to discuss it with you several times." "Look, I just wasn't comfortable, okay?" " What does it matter now?" " Why not?" " When I was clearly trying to be open?" " You know, Mom you may be trying to be open now and that's great." "But that's not how you've been for all my life." "You and dad, no one talked about anything." "None of us are like that, except Nate and that's just because he has no other way to distinguish himself." "I've always loved you." "I know you love the part of me that's your son." "What part of you isn't my son?" "You're all my son." "I don't think you know me very well." "Well, whose fault is that?" "I'm sorry." "And, you know, when you've tried to bring it up before or now even it's like you've decided you should know who I am." "You're willing to see me how you look at something horrible like a corpse, because it's your job, your duty." "It revolts you, but you make yourself bear it." "Well, you're wrong." "You don't revolt me!" "I don't choose which part of you I love, like some kind of chicken!" "It was just so much easier when you were little and you would tell me everything." "And when you were upset, I could always fix it." "I don't know how to take care of you anymore." "Just let me..." "Just let me take care of myself." "But do you?" "I'm afraid that you don't." "I do." "I will." "Well, that's all that I wanted to say." "All right." "We're having veal." "Well, Mommy still loves you." "Does that make everything better?" " Yeah, I didn't think it would." " What are you still doing here?" "I could've come out to every mother in the world, and I'd still be dead." "Oh, what, you're gonna interrupt him and his matching love stud?" "Both of them will be in hell with us, by the way." "But something tells me they're gonna have a lot more fun." "Stop, stop." "Make me." "Please, God, help me." "Take this pain away, please." "Fill this loneliness with your love." "Help me, God." "Please help me."