"Hello, Baby, I'm back!" "Hey, Gonzales!" "Surprise-surprise." "Hey, Bunny." "What a surprise!" "Bunny." "You've got this all wrong." "Why didn't the dog bark?" "Ms Voss, we've arrived." "I know." "Sarah Voss!" "You say nothing about the split-up." "Right." "Why don't you try my hormone pills?" "They kill the libido dead." "It's so liberating." "Pills meant for sex offenders aren't my thing." "If they hit the spot for those perverts, they must be good." "We should stop chasing the family dream." "It's just media propaganda." "Like Christmas, saving schemes, happiness and Africa." "So why did you marry twice, then?" "That was the 80s." "We all took coke, were romantic... and unrealistic." "At least you had friends." "I just get the run-around." "Friends, baby-girl, friends?" "You're thin and rich, what woman would be friends with you?" "Personal relationships are for losers with time to kill." "Maybe not being single is a personal need." "Smile, baby-girl!" "How about a beer?" "No, I've got to go." "This is the fifth time I've seen you, and you're better each time." "I'm delighted." "Thank you." "Could you sign here?" "Yes..." "It's for my husband." "Yes." "He was at the premiere, then he had a fall, and now he's in hospital." "I'm so sorry." "For your sake, he'll recover." "All right..." "Audition time!" "I'm coming." "That's my brother hurrying me along." "Bye, then." "And thanks." "Bye." "It's so touching when they enjoy it." "And the compliments I got!" "I get that, but..." "You're playing to the oldies." "You have to keep developing." "What?" "You don't have a clue." "The majority of German viewers are over 60, and the percentage is growing." "So you see, old age is Germany's future." "And I'm building up a fan base." "What an attitude to have!" "Get some perspective." "Listen, the audition tonight is being held by a hip young crowd." "They're young and exciting." "You have that in common." "Do you have a problem with getting naked?" "What, now?" "." "In the film." "Do you mind nudity around people or animals, particularly apes?" "That's just a suit." "We haven't cast the part yet." "Do you mind dancing naked with an ape?" "With plenty of physical contact." "Sex, too, maybe." "Love scenes." "ENTER YOUR PIN" "So you dance with a monkey!" "What's the big deal?" "Why is he always like this?" "How much?" "150." "The tickets alone are 80." "I'm lending you nothing." "Ask the refusenik here." "Goal!" "I'm not a bad actor, am I?" "I can't really judge." "I know about cars:" "whether they run or not." "I'm not bad." "It's showbiz I can't handle." "Rubbeldiekatz..." "A good homepage would help matters." "Are you stupid or what?" "The homepage is great." "I do it for you for free and you just whinge." "Yes!" "Hey, sausages!" "Not for you!" "You'll be too fat." "That's my business." "No." "You have an audition tomorrow." "I've had it with your auditions." "That's too bad." "This time it's..." "Hollywood!" "Not apes!" "You're kidding?" "Not at all." "The Yanks are here, doing a Nazi film, and you're being auditioned..." "So who's the moron-manager now?" "." "Hollywood!" "This is a woman's part." "Rubbish." "It says Maria Schneider." "But they checked your site..." "Uh-oh!" "What do you mean, uh-oh?" "I changed a few things." "The font..." "And there are less photos." "That's me as a woman!" "You don't understand web design." "Check the font!" "It's sick!" "Sick?" "It's pink!" "It's as kitsch as cuddly kittens!" "It's shit!" "Shit." "Look at it!" "You're useless." "Jan's a good web designer." "The Seidl Dance School's homepage is beautiful." "Thanks." "Sounds wicked:" "Maria Schneider head of the League of German Maidens, wife of an Obersturmführer, falls in love with a Jewess," "Rahel, who's hiding in the League." "You're going to go there in drag?" "Why do Hollywood guys only do films about Nazis here?" "They're Germany's greatest hit." "It's them or health-insurance companies." "The public ones are the baddies and..." "No..." "Wait..." "You know what?" "I'll do it!" "It's a great role for a young, talented actress." "But you aren't one." "You're a big, ugly dude." "I've played women thousands of times on stage." "I can do two days as a Nazi boss." "Right?" "I am not a bad actor." "Jürgen, say something." "And stop stroking that cat!" "It calms me down." "But you're the manager." "I think Alex has a point." "You've got your wigs." "And clothes from the theatre." "Two days." "For this:" "SOCIAL SECURITY" "Alexandra Honk." "What a forest!" "It's got caught up." "Stop..." "Skip into these tights, you'll be fine." "God!" "My God!" "They're as big as I am." "God, you look like a naked mole!" "Now the crucial bit." "Up!" "Okay?" "Fine." "Down." "What would you prefer, silicon or lentils?" "Lentils?" "It's better for the environment." "These ones." "All right." "Nice!" "You need freshening up." "We'll contour the lips, add highlights, make the eyes smoky." "They're a woman's weapon." "Hi, I'm Alex." "Feeling nervous?" "A little." "Really?" "I'm not." "Honk." "Alexandra Honk." "Could you come here?" "Yes." "Er..." "So..." "Bye." "Feel free to hurry up." "Okay, we start with the weeping scene." "Start when you're ready." "Now." "I start when I'm ready, right?" "That's what I said, yes." "Very German face." "My fatherland." "Hitler's land." "I was such a believer." "We were all seduced by that little man." "He led us to the abyss." "But..." "Should I do it again?" "Okay, this time..." "My fatherland." "Hitler's land." "Little German maiden." "Congratulations, you're cast." "Hollywood." "Hollywood." "You see, I'm not a bad actor." "Right?" "I put breasts on and I made it." "I made it." "To Maria Schneider." "To women." "To the Nazi film." "To Adolf Hitler." "Are you nuts?" "What?" "Without that idiot we wouldn't have a film industry." "Let's drink to the women, then." "To beautiful women." "Hollywood." "What strength's that?" "70 or 80." "I like it." "Excuse me." "Nice stride." "Wedding preparations mean more than my birthday." "It's so full of people here." "I'm out on the balcony." "What?" "Oh, him." "Yes... no." "We're not a couple anymore." "No, I've no idea who he's screwing now." "And you... are marrying Ralph, my dear little sister." "So it's all perfect." "I have to check up on the guests." "I'll call you back." "Hi!" "Hi." "I'm Alex." "I'm Sarah." "Do you always eavesdrop?" "No, I just happened to be passing." "Is the dog yours?" "What if he is?" "I'd put him on his lead..." "It's not a lead." "It's a chain." "People wear them like this." "Say... don't I know you?" "Not at all." "Can I get to know you?" "If so, then how about now?" "." "I'm actually here with my brothers and a mate." "We're having a barbeque." "It's like this:" "I'm going that way, and you can come along, or you can go back to your barbeque and your brothers." "What's wrong?" "I'll be back in a moment." "Oh, God!" "Fuck... fuck!" "No, shit!" "Oh dear." "Fuck, fuck." "Damn." "Hey." "Well..." "You're not wearing underwear." "I never do." "Nor do I." "This won't be a senseless affair, right?" "It's just the start!" "I couldn't take it" "Come off it." "Alex!" "Alex!" "I've had it." "I want to go home." "He'll have fallen asleep." "Had an adrenalin rush, then the alcohol did him in." "He'll have frozen to death." "Really?" "Rubbish, it's thawing." "He might have." "Look, there's a guy there." "I'll ask him, okay." "Hello?" "Hello." "Excuse me, do you know where Alex is?" "You're looking for Alex." "Yes, where is he?" "He'll be right back." "Where was he?" "We looked everywhere." "He'll be ready in a moment." "Were you partying with him all along?" "We looked everywhere for him." "Here he is, our Alex." "Hello!" "Well, what would you like, you three?" "But... you're straight." "Actually yes, but we're looking for our brother." "You know what?" "An orgasm has the same dramatic arc as a sneeze." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "Just aftershocks." "Basti?" "Jürgen?" "Basti?" "Jürgen?" "One hour." "Yes?" "Morning." "You ordered breakfast." "Yes?" "So..." "Where would you care to eat breakfast?" "Here, at the piano." "Yes..." "It was a crazy night!" "Yes..." "Large scrambled eggs with salmon twice." "Crimean caviar, large, eggs benedict, dessert, cheese platter, orange juice, champagne." "That's everything." "If you'd be so kind as to sign this." "Thanks." "Yes." "Well I've got no cash on me." "Yes." "Well thank you very much, enjoy your meal." "Thanks." "Hello." "Hey there." "What a night, eh?" "Yes, it was... cosy." "Come along, it was pretty..." "It was comfort sex." "Not too bad." "Crap!" "Hi." "I'm in a taxi." "I'll be there in a moment." "Yes..." "Comfort sex." "Mobile, purse... script." "Wow!" "We ordered a lot to eat." "Enjoy your meal." "Will we meet again?" "Hope so." "When, then?" "Who's to say?" "Shit... shit." "Yes?" "Where are you?" "We looked everywhere." "It's the reading rehearsal." "What?" "Christ alive." "Come home." "You can't go as a man." "You have to turn into a woman." "I'll be right there, okay." "Yes." "Shit." "Hi." "Morning." "Can I exit here?" "How did you enter?" "I was visiting." "Thanks." "Where did you end up?" "You... were with us." "Hey... hey!" "Maike!" "Are you nuts?" "I have to talk to you." "Maike, listen." "You want to talk but I've no time." "Okay?" "No." "We never talk." "We say we'll talk but never do." "I'm sick of talking about talking." "No time." "I'll call you tomorrow," "I don't believe you." "It's the last thing you'll do." "Why talk about relationships?" "We don't even have one." "That's the point." "The point of what?" "Okay..." "Tell me to my face, here and now, you don't love me anymore, you've got a new girl." "What do you mean, a new girl?" "You don't own me." "We're not guinea pigs." "Why do you always argue with me?" "Cause you always avoid conversation." "See?" "You argue, argue, argue." "It goes round in circles." "You can't enjoy it, either." "Right." "But what can you do?" "Okay, Maike, listen." "Let's stop this." "I'm running late." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Hello Maike." "Okay." "I'll be in touch." "You call me." "I'll call you." "Hello." "This is Alexandra Honk." "I'm her manager." "Where can we park?" "That's not for us." "We're the cast." "Shit..." "Come on, we're late." "Help me." "It's not easy." "Is that the Waffen SS?" "Look!" "Anyone for a latte macchiato?" "Great..." "Excuse me, do you have a light?" "No." "I'm sorry." "No." "It's an addiction." "You know?" "." "Hey." "The Führer just chatted me up!" "That's Thomas Henning." "He was in Broken Brain part one." "Mr Henning!" "Imagine me meeting you!" "Mad!" "I'm a huge fan of yours." "I even had a haircut like yours." "Alex, come here." "This is Mr Henning." "This is my client, Alexandra Honk." "She plays your wife, Maria Schneider." "Hi..." "Lovely..." "I'm Thomas," "I play Obersturmführer Helmut," "You can't imagine how your performance as that mad cripple in Broken Brain affected me." "It was mad." "Yes." "I spent seven months in a prison psychiatric ward to get into character." "That was no piece of cake." "I have some penfriends there, still." "When I got the Oscar," "I dedicated it to the boys in there." "Mad." "Your voice is like on screen." "Should you need a manager, our agency happens to have spare capacity..." "This would be for the German market alone" "International Management." "I represent him." "Her!" "Her." "I have to go in there." "To get into the mood." "Right." "See you at the warm-up." "Great." "No expense spared." "Alexandra." "Will you sit down with the others?" "Welcome to the read-through." "I'm Anne, the director's assistant." "You know John, our director, from auditions." "So, we'll start in a moment." "Our great star, Ms Voss, has told us she's running late." "Excuse me." "A round of applause, please, for Thomas Henning." "We'll be speaking English on set, so remember:" "Your opinions are welcome, so if anyone has anything to say, go ahead and say it." "Alex?" "Oh, hello Ms Voss!" "Excuse me." "Hello." "Hello." "Welcome." "How lovely." "Sorry..." "No problem..." "I know her." "I know her." "Everyone does." "So Alex..." "You wanted to..." "Anyone got a pen, a biro?" "The scene in which I speak..." "Oh, exactly." "John." "It's a minor..." "Despite her background and her faith, a Jewess falls in love with a Nazi league leader, Maria." "And vice versa." "That's exciting." "You get me?" "There's no way that the leading actress does only one love scene, then bang!" "I get shot, the Nazis all arrive..." "It's old hat!" "The point is:" "Your social security card will take a moment." "Okay." "Alexandra, would you come here?" "I'm waiting for my social security card." "Don't worry about that." "I need it or I won't get work elsewhere." "Yes, yes." "Come along." "And hurry up about it." "March!" "I think you made some very good points." "So Arthur back there will do a re-write and you'll stay." "Really?" "But I just said that..." "Tip-top!" "Here's the contract." "Well, what do you say?" "Want a regular coffee?" "What, how?" "." "The Yanks are crazy!" "They take me for the goddess of love." "But so what?" "I'm in!" "I've got the low-down." "You're shooting for 20 days." "It's too much." "Are you nuts?" "You'll like it." "You are not a bad actor." "You and Sarah Voss are the leading roles." "Forget Thomas Henning!" "I can do 2 days, not 20!" "Those Yanks wanted to give me a set price but I said no way." "Every single day must be paid for!" "That's management!" "It's impossible." "Take it easy." "I slept with the lead actress!" "I slept with the lead actress!" "Just now?" "." "Is that what goes on in there?" "No." "Yesterday." "I'd never heard of Sarah Voss." "Or George Clooney, the pope or Coke." "Alexandra, come for your make up and your costume." "One moment." "I... yes." "Fuck." "What do I do now?" "." "Break your contract, pay the 50 million." "Shit." "Is that the fine?" "What did you think?" "A slap on the wrist?" "Alexander, make up, costume!" "And, as you're leading cast, you're invited to the Gala tonight." "Okay?" "Thanks but..." "Sure thing." "We'd be glad to come." "It's an important event." "We want four tickets." "I've got one." "We're coming." "Thanks." "I'll see what I can do." "I don't want to go there." "I don't want to." "Listen up, Bro." "You just do what they tell you." "Think of our bank account." "These are the Yanks!" "They don't hang about." "They started a war in Iraq." "Off with the clothes, love." "What do I take off?" "The lot?" "Yes, the lot." "Now?" "." "Rubbeldiekatz!" "We'll turn our backs." "Have you got a cabin?" "I'm ticklish." "Thank you." "That will do." "My God!" "She's cute." "It felt great." "Well?" "Holy moley!" "More corns than a corn dog!" "Football..." "Come here." "Go!" "Lord, did you take a potato-peeler to them... or what?" "Oh, anyway..." "Well... great." "A little sexy, but... ladylike, too." "Wow." "Yes." "The Nazis were good at haircuts and knitwear." "The tailoring was emancipated..." "Sugar!" "Come, come!" "This is for you this evening." "That's your colour." "Nude." "What?" "Nude: skin." "All right." "This is for you." "These are fit for the red carpet." "Nipples." "You'll drive the men crazy." "20 percent more attention guaranteed." "Look." "It's this way up." "Upwards 23, downwards 53 years old." "23, 53." "Get it?" "So... that's the one." "All right." "Park it, son." "We don't do that." "Then it's staying there." "What's that tent you're wearing?" "It's no tent." "This dress is by Guido-Maria-Kretschmer." "Most women would kill for it." "What's with the colour?" "Skin-colour or what?" "It's nude you idiot." "It's in nowadays." "You wear something skin-like over your skin?" "That's fashion." "What?" "They're squinting." "What?" "Oh God!" "Fix them." "No." "Fix them for me." "I'm not touching you there!" "Do it!" "All right, all right!" "Good girl." "Don't let anyone see." "Got it." "About time!" "We're expected." "Well, fuck it." "Wicked, prawns!" "Where's the booze?" "Oh, excuse me." "Oh, sweet." "It'll last longer..." "Thanks." "Germany... the unemployed." "It's just too real." "Opposite my house in Hollywood there's this bum with the best breasts" "I have ever seen." "The American dream." "Great!" "Hey, Alex." "This here is David, a friend of mine from New York." "David is doing a reading in the Jewish community." "Yes." "So you play the head of the League?" "Yes." "I'm from Berlin, too." "My parents are from New York." "My grandparents didn't make it." "I'm so sorry." "Say, you got a boyfriend?" "What?" "Hey, maybe we can go eat together." "Maybe you'll come to my reading next week." "Sure thing..." "I know, they squint." "So what?" "Just look at her!" "What a cheap slag!" "Look at that Alex, and you know..." "Excuse me." "I have to compliment you." "May I introduce myself?" "Honk International Management." "Should you be interested." "Honk:" "He's One Notorious Knave." "Thanks, anyway." "Who is this Alex, anyway?" "No one knows." "Why not?" "Hey..." "We can't accept visitors..." "They took that troll instead of me!" "Yanks!" "She may be a bit austere, but, unlike you, she can act." "And she's no empty, heartless blonde." "You take that back right now." "I'll do nothing of the sort, you twit." "I'm giving it to you straight." "Jürgen!" "You okay?" "Who's that?" "My brothers." "Hey!" "Them?" "All right!" "You're tough, when you're in a group, huh?" "Come and get a load of this." "Here we go." "That was not the time and place." "Thanks, Brother Judas!" "She's a good woman." "A devil-woman." "How is she in bed?" "Does she scream Oh, God when she comes?" "Mind your business." "What?" "Just cause she's famous or what?" "Why did a woman of her class demean herself by having sex with you?" "She was rated 17th sexiest woman alive last year." "They offered her about a million for a nude shoot." "And you had it all for free." "An hour long." "I jerk off to 1 to 35 all year long, when there's a new poll, I start all over." "What, you jerked off over Sarah?" "Yes." "You stop that." "You can't make me." "Please." "A whole hour?" "If she got her tits done, she'd get two million and come in at number ten." "Well, twelve..." "That's enough." "I introduce this nice girl to you, and you just think smutty thoughts!" "Who's the smutty one, huh?" "You did all the stuff." "We're just talking." "Like always." "Right." "We always speak openly." "Honestly, if she ever did a nude shoot, then, as a man, I'd be bound to... rejoice." "Rejoice." "You're reducing a woman to a body." "Right?" "Right." "Right." "Did you not notice she has a brain and other qualities?" "That's not the issue." "An hour!" "Like hell." "My ideal in this world, its hero so bold is a man both great and blond" "He comes from a fairy-tale land, gives me his strong hand that can break me like snapping a twig..." "No great idea will ever perish due to a couple of snow flakes." "In your hearts the passion and fervour of the German fairy-tale glow hot." "Breeding in keeping with type has the advantage of preventing the intermingling of characteristics..." "The Aryan woman will always remain the ideal!" "But..." "But..." "A German woman is not to be judged by her racial qualities alone." "Empty, heartless blondes are of no value to us." "Are we ready for the next shoot or what?" "No retouches here." "Hurry up." "His name's Waldemar," "He is not a star His home is in Berlin" "And I'm in love with him" "The boy's the very contrary of my ideal" "I do not know what I'm about and I accept the deal" "Make her pregnant." "I can't do it up." "Here." "Twins are too much." "Leave it to me." "Sugar, go and get Hannah changed over there." "We need a bit of privacy." "All of you!" "A bit of privacy, if you please!" "Have you had the operation?" "Take more hormones." "You're wonderful, love." "I'm not easily shocked, you know?" "." "Come here." "Are the operations over?" "What?" "Not yet." "I am a man." "I need the work." "I need the work." "We all have our secrets." "I'm as silent as the grave." "So on we go, Fräulein!" "Children, that's enough." "There's a war on!" "Once more and I'll break your arms." "All right." "Ready." "Thomas, can we..." "Can we run through our lines?" "His name is Waldemar, his hair is dark" "He's neither proud nor brave but I'm in love with him" "Waldemar, he's a barbarian..." "WITH THE FÜHRER TO VICTORY!" "... MEET YOU..." "THURSDAY..." "I YEARN FOR YOU..." "RAHEL" "You smell good." "It reminds me of something." "Alex..." "Alex, your face is too red." "It's not good on screen." "John wants you to stop with it." "Mind if I French you?" "Sorry?" "French kiss." "Well..." "Are you insane?" "Stop!"