"Send him in." "Signor Sbisa." "Alright c'mon, let's go in." "Your Honor... this is Signor Sbisa." "Sit down please." "Still certain you want a divorce?" "Yes, yes." "Positive?" "No doubts?" "Either moral, religious, or above all, economic?" "No, no." " Clerk, do you have that?" " Yes, I do." "Send the lady in." " What's the problem?" " Calm down." "Sit down." "My duty is to try to bring about a reconciliation." "First separately, then jointly." "That is the law." "All right, so it's the law." "But the law doesn't know I'm ready to have a stroke!" "Come in Mrs. Sbisa." "Oh, my God, there she is!" "Would you sit down." "I won't look at her... then maybe I'll live through this." "That perfume..." "The same perfume..." "Now I'm getting the shivers!" "I'm talking to you, too." "Yes... excuse me." "So everybody is here..." "In an attempt to reunite this family..." "Now I feel fine." "Strange." "Maybe I'm cured." "Should I try looking at her?" "No reaction at all." "I can look straight at her..." "Maria Rosa..." "The witch!" "Funny when I think back to a few years ago when Maria Rosa didn't exist in my life." "Funny because I passed by that pharmacy all the time." "How mysterious, and sinister it is... that sheer chance rules our lives." "What most attracted me to her?" "The way she walked." loose, yet controlled." "A strange mixture of sensuality and modesty as if she were in a bed or in a church at the same time." "It's better like this." "Yes, it's better like this." "How many times have I said, "Better like this?"" "Remember Clara?" "And Luisa?" "You kept them dangling." "And Marcella?" "Poor thing... so sweet." "And Rita... so jealous!" "They all dropped me." "Or so they thought." "I really dropped them... saying every time, "Better like this."" "What can I do?" "I'm afraid of responsibility" "Top honors in architecture, and what did I do with it all?" "I'm pretty sure these stocks will go up tomorrow." "But it's too much responsibility for me." "You decide." "Well, buy!" "Well, buy!" "Thanks." "I work in a bank." "A temporary job." "I thought at first." "Yet, I'm still here." ""Deposited" for life." "The counter that separates me from the crowd is like a barricade protecting me from the hordes on the other side." "Yes, people frighten me." "Oh, but here's where I have no fear." "I'm really myself here..." "free, without a care." "For years, Oreste and I went mountain climbing on weekends." "He was my only friend." "Even though he was the exact opposite of me." "He never gave up anything." "He never said, "Better like this..."" "I lived with my father, and we got along just fine." "Thanks Papa." "A very quiet life." "Nothing extraordinary" "Why did it all have to change?" "Why?" "My golden opportunity!" "I just have to help her pull it down." "Nothing to it." "Yes, nothing to it..." "Alfredo!" "Hi Oreste." "What the hell are you doing here?" "I'm waiting for a streetcar." "They stopped running in 1959!" "So that's why I didn't see one!" "Are you OK?" "Want a lift?" "I'm going to the hospital." "No thanks." "I'll call you later." "Oreste, I changed my mind." "You can drive me home." "Wait!" "A golden opportunity..." "Alfredo!" "Alfredo!" "Come here!" "At that moment, I hated Oreste." "I was feeling so bad." "And what if she laughed at me for following her?" "But she didn't." "Pleased to know you." "My pleasure." "Pleasure ..." "I felt even worse." "She hadn't even noticed me!" "Oreste, doing his act again... with her!" "I was infuriated." "Can't I get a word in?" "Go on, talk." "I look like an idiot." "What does this one want anyway?" "Talking about her cat." "Who cares!" "She doesn't even notice me." "Damn it, she's beautiful." "He stole her from me." "Give me a pen.." "Here are all my phone numbers office, hospital, clinic, home." "Say it's Maris Rosa..." "...and I'll let my patients croak!" "I know guys like you but I might take you up on that." "Give your number to Gianna." "Go on, write it down." "Yes, c'mon." "Thank you." "Hello, Oreste!" "How are you?" "Fine." "But, who is this?" "What are you doing tonight?" "Guess who it is." "Yes, yes." "Yes, yes." "Oh, yes." "How's your cat?" "Oh, yes." "How's your cat?" "Sorry, I didn't expect you call me..." "I already made plans for this evening." "You're making a mistake." "This isn't Gianna, you know." "Aren't you...?" "No." "Who am I?" "Come on, guess... who am I?" "Maria Rosa!" "Was it so hard?" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Still busy tonight?" "Yes, yes... no, no..." "I'm not busy tonight!" "Why?" "See you then." "I couldn't believe it." "But it was hen" "Maybe there was something behind it..." "maybe it was all a joke." "Not a joke, it was really her..." "Here she comes." "With that same bewitching smile." "And the walk that drove me out of my mind!" "Why didn't you recognize my voice?" "Right away she made me the guilty one." "That was her specialty." "But I didn't know that then." "Now she's clinging to me!" "And what's even more incredible, she chose me over Orestes." "Oreste?" "That man?" "Listen, he's just the type I detest." "So cynical." "So sure of himself." "When he looks at you, it's as if he's undressing you." "Alfredo, you're different." "You were too shy even to approach me." "I thought you didn't notice me." "Of course I did." "I was ridiculous, right?" "Yes." "But so tender..." "And moving..." "I was in seventh heaven!" "I went to our second date, as if in a dream... 8 o'clock sharp, at the usual place." "...8:20... 8:35..." "A quarter to nine..." "You're here?" "Aren't you getting in?" "I thought you weren't coming." "I called my - father to find out if you'd phoned." "I've been here since 8, watching you." "You're exactly as I imagined." "Thank you." "Thank you." "But why?" "There are many ways to wait for a woman... thank you." "What goes on in that head of hers?" "What does she want from me?" "Does she want to go to bed?" "Yes or no?" "After all, she came after me..." "But suppose I'm wrong?" "I studied her, as the leading man undressed the Nun of Monza!" "Do I touch her or not?" "Do I kiss her or not?" "Our third date is almost oven" "I'll do it!" "No!" "Yes!" "I'll count to five, and then kiss hen On the lips." "Two, three" "I can always apologize afterwards..." "Four, four and a half." "Isn't it late?" "No!" "No I can't!" "No, please!" "Yes!" "No, no!" "Sorry." "Yes, yes!" "No, no!" "What's going on here?" "Nothing." "Hello!" "Wait a minute." "Sbisa?" "It's for you." "Hello!" "Is this Alfredo Sbisa, Agricultural Bank, Cathedral Square?" "Yes it's me." "Telegram." "Shall I read it?" "Yes, please." ""Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me..."" "I see, go on please." "It goes on, sir:" "Forgive me, forgive me..."" ""I love you, I love you, I love you..."" ""I love you, I love you, I love you..."" "Total: 13 "forgive me's" and 25 "I love you's."" "Signed "Maria Rosa"..." "that's only one time." "Thank you." "You're welcome, sir" "Congratulations!" "Yes thanks, thanks!" "I told them at the bank I had to stop at the pharmacy..." "Thank you, thank you, my love, my love..." "Signorina, where's the Vitavit?" "Your prescription..." "Instead of a second kiss, my first letter..." "Think of Maria Rosa 100 times before each meal." "Double the dose at bedtime." "The second letter arrived at the bank 40 minutes Iaten" "It was a heart, filled with words." "You're good, you're sweet, you're handsome..." "You're kind, you're brave, you're noble..." "YOU'RE MINE." "I started to get an average of 4 or 5 letters a day" "Alfredo, A letter for you..." "Thanks, Dad!" "It was the third Papa had given me in 48 hours." "I knew he was excited." "He understood I was involved with someone seriously for the first time." "I am thy Goddess." "First." Thou shalt have no other Goddess before me." "Second." Thou shalt sanctify the day on which we met." "Odd, she listed all except the 6th Commandment... about impure acts!" "What was I to make of this?" "Should I try to kiss her again?" "When in doubt, abstain." "Good night, I'll call you soon." "When?" "When I feel like it!" "Bye!" "Well... maybe I shouldn't have abstained." "Darling we have to face it..." "one thing about our relationship." "This is serious..." "Each time I call you, I feel that you don't love me as much as I do love you." "Where are you?" "Doing what?" "What would I be doing?" "I'm at the bank, working." "I know that, I called you." "...I want to know all about you." "I want to know more." "Are you at your desk or at the counter?" "Sorry, I'm busy." "I'll call you later." "One thing I want to tell you..." "When I want to hear your voice, I'll call, no matter where or when!" "Where are you?" "Doing what?" "I'm in the manager's office at an important meeting." "We're much more important!" "Always!" "Yes, of course." "What are you wearing?" "What are you wearing?" "Normal." "Normal." "Suit or sport jacket?" "First one." "The brown one or the maroon?" "Yes, yes." "Yes?" "Go ahead!" "Thanks, I better call you back later, Signorina." "Don't be formal with me!" "Thanks, and the same to you." "Papa, it's for me." "I'm having more phone plugs put in." "Good night" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Hi!" "What are you doing?" "Standing in the hallway, as usual." "Were you sleeping?" "No, no" "No, I was reading." "Are you crying?" "Yes!" "Why?" "What's wrong, another bad dream?" "I dreamed you volunteered to joined the army!" "Volunteer?" "Which war?" "Just a war!" "I couldn't stop you." "And you went away on a long troop train!" "It was terrible!" "Listen, there's no war, thank God." "So stop worrying." "Damn it, this girl really has a sixth sense." "I'm not going to war, but mountain climbing on Sunday with Oreste." "But, how am I going to tell her?" "Why should I mind?" "Are you sure?" "I wouldn't want to deprive you of something you enjoy." "But, what will you do?" "Alfredo, you go and enjoy yourself." "Just phone me." "From the mountains?" "If you can, I'd be very happy." "I'll be home, waiting by the phone." "Alfredo, Why don't you kiss me anymore?" "Can I?" "Tickets!" "Is that a phone?" "It just connects to one up on top." "A phone up there?" "The phone up on top just connects to here." "Alfredo, who the hell do you have to call?" "Something had been torturing me for days."" "How to tell Oreste I'd taken Maria Rosa away from him." "Coward that I was, I waited till we were off the ground." "Then I stabbed him in the back... so I wouldn't see how hurt he was." "I'm sorry" "What did you say?" "She's a cow!" "What?" "She's a cow, I said." "All day I'd thought of Maria Rosa in her room, waiting for my call." "Tell her I forgive you both!" "I hoped she wouldn't answer." "I hoped she went to the movies." "Hello!" "Damn, she picked up on the first half-ring!" "Why didn't you call me earlier?" "But... me..." "Alfredo, you promised me." "I know, I know... but it wasn't easy..." "You could have if you wanted to." "Are you... are you angry with me?" "No, but, just disappointed." "I never thought you'd go in the first place." "But you're the one who insisted." "All the more reason not to go." "I didn't understand that." "Forgive me." "No, you forgive me." "But, why?" "Forgive me I exist that's all!" "Hello!" "Mario Rosa!" "Hello!" "I promised I'd spend the next Sunday with hen" "But Wednesday she had a bad dream..." "Frida_y a cousin in Ancona died... so Saturday she had to leave." "I won't be able to call you tomorrow." "My cousins don't have a phone." "But I worked out a way we can keep in touch." "Not now!" "Swear you won't open this before tomorrow morning." "Swear it!" "Good morning, my love." "Happy Sunday!" "Go to the hospital pharmacy It's always open." "Say I sent you and they'll give you something." "See you soon, Ilove you." "I told Oreste to go ahead and I'd join him Iaten" "But I knew I'd never make it." "I suspected what her plan was to be near me, while far away." "By the third message, Ihad no doubts." "Each link of this love-chain led me to the next link." "74, ...75, ...76, ...77, ...78." "I was involved in a lover's treasure hunt." "Thanks." "My love, enjoy your lunch, and think about "G 2"." "Damn it, what the hell is "G 2"?" "I wonder, if I joined this game just because I was afraid of Maria Rosa..." "No, it isn't true" "I do it because I want it." "Just like her, with love." "What the hell is "G 2"?" "Under the eaves of an old city towen." "The Captain's Towen..284 steps..." "Destroyed by Barbarossa. .." "Then rebuilt to greater heights by the Camaldolesi monks..." "Damn their souls!" "Darling, are you tired?" "Who's tired?" "I'm not tired." "You weren't tired putting it here." "Why should I be tired getting it!" "You have a letter for me." "Yes, I have." "I'll give it to you in 3 minutes." "Give it to me now, please I'm dead tired I even got bitten by a female dog." "I see." "Thanks." "Well, darling, you've reached the treasure." "Turn around." "My treasure..." "Did you think of me a little bit?" "Come!" "Your suitcase!" "That night, I tossed around, unable to sleep." "And I, too, had a strange, disturbing dream." "How sad it was." "Hello!" "Where are you?" "Doing what?" "I'm on the toilet..." "...taking a crap!" "No, I couldn't blame her on the fever..." "I had no fever." "I didn't go to work the next day and skipped my date with Maria Rosa." "I wanted time to think about her, and our relationship." "About just how important it was becoming." "I must realize and find the answers." "I read her letters over and over again" "So sweet... so tender..." "To make me feel ashamed of myself." "They are too much, but, it's not bad at all." "She's so beautiful!" "I asked myself, "What would my life be like without Maris Rosa?"" "The silence of this house..." "Papa cooking, and talking to the dog..." "The milkman always delivering the milk, at the same houn." "Hello, is Alfredo home?" "Yes, come in." "You're the father, I guess." "Yes, that's me." "Alfredo, a visitor for you." "Quiet Willy, go to kitchen!" "Come in." "Hi." "Hi." "How are you?" "I was worried." "I thought you were sick in bed." "I feel much better now." "This is my father." "I already introduced myself." "I told her I'm Alfredo's father, not the maid!" "These are for you" "Thanks." "Why don't you sit down?" "Alfredo, you'll offer the lady a drink, right?" "Sure, Dad." "If you'd like to stay to dinner..." "Sorry, I can't." "I'm the cook." "And not a bad one!" "Thanks a lot, but I can't." "Alfredo, you convince her." "Excuse me." "Why don't you sit down?" "Have a drink." "You choose." "We have everything." "Then I don't want anything." "My father would be pleased if you stayed to dinner." "But would you be?" "Why did you say that?" "Last night..." "I had a strange dream..." "What dream?" "It's not important any more." "At last, I'm in your house." "I was thinking about you, more and more, each day." "But now I don't know if you worth it." "What's wrong, what've I done wrong now." "Alfredo, tell me, what do I mean to you?" "What?" "Yes, I want to know, what do I mean to you?" "You mean everything to me!" "Listen!" "If we both, me and your father urged to have a kidney transplantation who would you give your kidney to?" "My kidney?" "Tell me the truth now..." "who'd you give it to...?" "Err..., to my Papa." "I knew it!" "But listen, everybody knows it, you can only give it to your relatives." "Are you leaving?" "I was only kidding." "I'd give you both, each of my kidneys." "What were you doing when I arrived here?" "Me..." "I, I was re-reading your letters." "And I thought - oh sorry forgive me darling." "Please kiss me!" "Wait!" "I have a cold, you'll catch it!" "Maria Rosa, Dad is here!" "Cut it out!" "That's enough!" "Alfredo, what's going on?" "It's nothing, Papa!" "Can't you control yourself for once?" "I knew it." "My dreams never lie!" "My dreams too!" "Suddenly I was terrified I'd lose her." "Maria Rosa!" "Sorry, Dad!" "Maria Rosa!" "Wait!" "I ran after her like a madman." "Then suddenly I stopped." "What held me back?" "Was it once more... "better like this"?" "Was it once more..." ""better like this"?" "The first night was terrible." "I didn't sleep a wink." "I was a wreck the next day too." "I couldn't even work." "But the human mind has its own defenses." "It refuses to think about someone 24 hours a day!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Nothing... just a ghostly silence." "And a kind of pained sigh." "Then the click of someone hanging up." "Hello!" "Damn it!" "Ifelt okay the fourth day" "Except at around 2 pm, I thought I saw " "But that was all." "Then when Igot home, another mysterious phone call..." "Hello, who is it who is it?" "I don't know..." "It sounds like someone suffering like someone drowning, Alfredo!" "How could a drowning person make a phone call?" "Anything you say..." "Hello!" "Maria Rosa, is that you?" "Maria Rosa!" "If it's you, say something." "I'll come right over, if you want." "But I can't go on like this!" "Say something, or I'll hang up!" "My god!" "what's up?" "Hey!" "Oreste!" "Are you disconnected?" "Hurry up, put something on!" "Wait for me, I'm coming." "Hurry!" "we're late." "I have the most wonderful memories of that Sunday" "Sort of an unconscious last goodbye to my freedom..." "I can still see myself there with my friends, under a blue sky happyjust to be eating and laughing and joking." "And then coming home, to feel a wonderful weariness in my bones." "Come to Maria Rosa's house immediately!" "Murderer!" "I want to talk to him!" "I want to talk to him!" "I want you to realize, what have you done to our poor baby." "You can come in." "Thank you." "What happened?" "This way." "This way please." "She's the only child we have left." "We don't want to lose her, too." "She's out of danger now." "Son, how could you push the girl this far?" "Go to her." "Go on, Casanova." "But why?" "You made me feel like as if I were nothing to you..." "What?" "You made me feel like as if I were nothing to you!" "Forgive me." "Forgive me." "That's how I became officially engaged to Maria Rosa and informed of the family's most intimate secrets." "Four brothers, killed in the Wan." "The dusty souvenirs of years in the Duce's colonies..." "And those Friday dinners of fish sent from the Adriatic and, my future father-in-Iaw assured us." Caught an hour ago!" "My God!" "Those fish-heads still horrify me." "And those fiends, sucking out eyes, brains... everything!" "Can I have your head?" "And this led straight to my marriage!" "Why?" "Why had I gone this far?" "Out of what destructive masochism?" "or was it my cowardice?" "Three coffies!" "Three coffies." "Yes please." "Put all 3 of them in a cup." "In a single cup!" "My god!" "May I use the phone." "She cried all night long." "She was feeling a bit better in the morning." "But then she started crying again." "She put off her wedding-gown and went to bed..." "We were afraid." "We still treat her like a child." "I'll tell her after the wedding." "Will you try it?" "What about bridegroom." "He's late too." "Suddenly Maria Rosa seemed like an angel to me." "We both were having the same crisis ...I was feeling so close to her." "It will be a chance for you!" "Alfredo!" "Wait!" "Alfredo!" "Don't be stupid." "Have some time to think it over." "Alfredo!" "Come!" "You talk to her." "...I should've called the whole thing off right then!" "It wouldn't be God's fault if I were missing all those evidences." "Sssh!" "I beg you!" "When my father-in law realized he'd forgotten the rings I was the one to help him" "Or when the priest made that mistake because of some bizarre clerical erron" "Do you take as your lawful wedded wife Carla Antonelli?" "Why didn't I shout, "No!"" ""I don't want to marry Carla Antone/Ii or anybody else!"" "But I just stayed there waiting to give my imbecilic answer."" "Yes." "Maria Rosa Cavarani, do you take Alfredo Sbisa as your lawful husband?" "Yes." "Later!" "wondered, what if I had married Carla Antone/Ii?" "My wedding night might have been embarrassing... but less complicated!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Anyway I started struggling with Maria Rosa at Mantua and finally made it in the tunnel at Vernio Montepiano Cantagallo!" "Open the door!" "Open the door!" "I'll skip the explanations I gave, and my confusion and shame." "Yet all this became routine in our married life." "Be quiet Willy!" "Calm down." "It's nothing, don't worry." "Quiet, it's alright!" "That's enough, Willy!" "Cut it out, Willy!" "Lie down!" "Maria Rosa left her job and dedi- cated herself to me and the house." "The place was full of servants now." "And she started giving orders, counter-orders, commands..." "We were caught in the middle of a hurricane." "Leave that and get me the flour." "What?" "The flour!" "No, no, out!" "You can't come in here." "That's all we need!" "Oh, sorry!" "Yes, that is all we need." "No wonder I can't keep sen/ants in this house!" "This dog stinksL" "So Willy ended up in the basement, just like when Mama was alive..." "And the hurricane kept raging about us." "The first cook left, then the second and third..." "A constant stream of new faces..." "with the same unhappy ending." "I remember a certain Elda." "An Elisa, a Tina." "Lazare, Georgia, Sandra, Catherina." "Then one day I came home for lunch to find the house in silence." "Rita!" "Papa, anybody home?" "Papa!" "Where's Maria Rosa?" "She went out." "She's not back yet." "And Rita?" "You mean, Clara." "Yes, right, Clara." "She got fired this morning..." "there was a slight argument." "Aren't we eating today?" "I've had enough." "I'm not letting sen/ants ruin my life." "There, the delicatessen has everything we need." "And so Maria Rosa passed from frantic activity to complete inactivity" "No house cleaning, no cooking, nothing but a pigsty" "Dad and I were two single person once again." "What time it is?" "It's half past 2." "I'd like a spaghetti." "Sorry, Papa, I'm ashamed." "Women are mysterious creatures." "That's why they're so fascinating." "Fascinating, sure..." "The next morning, Papa disappeared." "He took his clothes, his books, and Willy and escaped to his cottage in the country" "Because, as he explained in his letter."" ""Young people should be left alone to create their own happiness."" "I was afraid of hen" "Whyl was afraid of Maria Rosa..." "From morning till night..." "From night till morning..." "Together... always!" "The only escape left was Oreste." "And I was allowed to see him less and less." "Hello, yes?" "Is Alfredo there, please?" "Yes." "Guess who?" "You're only supposed to see him once a month." "It's been a month!" "Hello Oreste." "Did I call too late?" "No, no." "Want to go to the mountains Sunday?" "Sunday?" "Sunday yes." "Sunday..." "I don't know." "Maybe." "Hello, who am I?" "Guess who I am." "The best piece in Italy!" "Bad boy!" "." "Don't talk like that or I'll tell Alfredo..." "I know you will." "...what's this about Sunday?" "I want Alfredo to go to the mountains with me." "Would you mind if I came along?" "No, no." "Just one time." "I won't ruin your day." "I don't know." "Well, do you want me or not?" "Hey, Alfredo!" "Help!" "I'm slipping!" "Hey, 5949... help!" "That's my phone number!" "She remembers it!" "She knows the plumber's number by heart too!" "No, that's not true." "It's written on the phonebook." "No, no." "I don't trust you." "Let me help you." "Maria Rosa!" "Did you hurt yourself?" "No." "Some wine?" "Maria Rosa!" "Come and have some wine." "Maria Rosa!" "Come and have some wine." "No." "Leave me alone." "No." "Leave me alone." "What's the problem with her?" "She's mad at you." "But why?" "How should I know why?" "I'll go and talk to her." "No Alfredo, not you." "You'll only make it worse." "I'll go, I'm better at it." "Maria Rosa, come and join us." "Who do you think you are?" "Keep away from me." "Maria Rosa!" "Dirty pig!" "And you're a fool." "I hate you!" "just hate you!" "What's the problem?" "What happened to her?" "Maria Rosa!" "What did you tell him?" "Nothing." "Some friend you have!" "Ask him what he said to me!" "She's crazy!" "Oh, no!" "Maria Rosa, wait!" "I know you!" "You've always been like this." "But not with my wife!" "You liar!" "Maria Rosa!" "I don't give a damn for your wife!" "Idiot!" "You believe her?" "Then you desen/e her!" "Go to hell!" "Maria Rosa!" "We don't need anybody else." "Not anybody!" "." "And so, with the heavy feeling that I'd been unfain." "Ilost Oreste, too." "My best friend for so many years." "It was during this period that my skin broke out in a rash." "I was covered with strange red blotches and pimples." "And I wondered what could have caused them..." "Did you eat fish that wasn't fresh?" "I don't even eat fresh fish anymore." "That nut from yesterday is on the radio again!" "We're dialing the lady's number right now." "Listen, she is crazy." "Hello!" "Good morning, Signora..." "happy Sunday" "Oh, there aren't any happy days for me any more." "Signora!" "Yes?" "You're going through a critical time, we know." "So we've called in a psychologist to talk with you today" "Maybe he could be helpful to you." "Good morning, Signora What is your problem, exactly?" "I can 't make any sense out of my marriage." "You're not alone." "Signora, many have said that marriage is senseless!" "It's no joke, you know." "I just want to help you." "I realize more and more that!" "married a complete mediocrity" "A nothing!" "A real nothing!" "A real jackass!" "A problem Signor?" "No, no, I just remembered I had a meeting." "Why don't you let me finish it?" "I give him everything, and he's just passive!" "Just wait, I'll give you something when I reach there..." "He gives me nothing." "I love him but he's just passive!" "Tell me more." "Give me a clearer picture." "Is your sex life normal?" "No!" "What should I do, Doctor?" "You tell me!" "Try the oldest remedy in the world..." "I'll rip the phone out of her hand!" "I'll end her radio career once and for all!" "Maris Rosa, where are you?" "It's still warm!" "Maria Rosa!" "Maria Rosa!" "Open the door or I'll break it down!" "We must have a baby!" "Right away!" "Then I won't feel so utterly useless!" "It is the oldest remedy in the world but what's a woman without a child?" "She's right, poor thing." "And I like children, too." "At least I think I do..." "We'd bring them up..." "We'd watch them grow, little by little..." "Through them, we'd find love again, and the joy of living!" "Say you want a child, too!" "Of course I do." "I never did anything to prevent it, did I?" "That's what worries me." "It's been six months now." "And since I'm positive I'm normal and healty..." "What worries me..." "Alfredo, ...you're probably sterile." "So that's why I'm here, Doctor." "...My wife wants to know if I'm sterile." "And frankly, I'd like to know, too." "It's a legitimate question and an easy one to answer." "We'll just examine your semen." "Here you are..." "When you finish, ring the bell." "Finish what?" "My dear boy..." "Here, see if you find something exciting in it." "No, no, it's too much!" "I won't do it" "My God!" "What will I tell her?" "I guess a father has to make some sacrifices for his son..." "And there was some satisfaction in it." "Mora/Ly Imean!" "It turned out I wasn't sterile... it was Maria Rosa who had problems." "In order to get pregnant, she had to follow a very strict routine." "Two pills at lunch and at dinner." "Intercourse..." "Two or more times a day during the most fertile hours." "Between 10:30 am and 11:30 am." "In the morning?" "...and or between 3 pm and 8 pm." "Always during office hours?" "You'll ask for time off, that's all." "I took off from work three, four times and then Istarted running out of excuses." "Well, here it is Sir, read it yourself, please." "It's a delicate matter." "Please be discreet, sir." "Of course!" "Who gets this double egg nog?" "Sbisa will take it..." "Otherwise he'll never make it!" "One day between 3 and 5 pm, when my rash was killing me I suddenly realized I hated hen" "I hated her, I hated hen" "I pretended that my father was sick, and got two days off." "Alfredo, come on, it's ready." "I didn't explain anything, and he didn't ask maybe not to upset me, or maybe not to upset himself." "Like all vacations, this one finished too soon." "Back I went to the front lines." "My son!" "Come in." "Alfredo!" "My son!" "Good boy!" "I'm a grandfather!" "Thank you!" "You've made it!" "I gathered I was going to be a fathen" "I had done it!" "B ravo!" "I didn't understand who that gypsy was." "Crucifissa!" "Why are you always laughing like an idiot?" "Now repeat what your orders are." "You two sleep in the second room." "He sleeps in the sotano." "Call him "Sir." He's the one who pays you!" "She doesn't cost much." "The nuns sent her." "She is not an ordinary sen/ant." "Fine, fine." "Only what's a sotano?" "Maris Rosa has a difficult pregnancy." "The doctor says we have to be careful." "She has to stay in bed for two months without moving, not an inch." "Get the idea, Alfredo?" "Yes." "We all have to make sacrifices." "We'll stay in your father's room to take care of her." "And you don't want to put straw near fire... not in the same bed!" "I wouldn't dream of it." "Only where the hell is the sotano?" "Please translate it..." "That cozy room downstairs..." "It's nice and dry, and right on the garden." "He meant the eel/an So that's sotano in Spanish..." "Fine, as long as they left me in peace." "I got my things together." my books, my mountain climbing equipment... meverything that was really mine, in a house abandoned to the invaders." "And I discovered things I'd long forgotten." " You did it?" " A long time ago." "Pretty." "I like it!" "Crucifissa was right." "It wasn't bad at all." "I had the urge to paint again." "I got out my old easel." "[bought new paints and started in." "And what was the first thing I painted?" "Birds flying away!" "Excuse me, I'm a little tired tonight." "We've brought you the third episode of "The Count of Monte Cristo" from the novel by Alexander Dumas." "I, too, crept into my cot like the Count of Monte Cristo when he heard the guard change, after he'd started digging his tunnel." "And he still clutched his spoon, to dig deeper the next night!" "I dig deeper the next night and went to Dorde Cafe." "No, nothing new..." "Nobody miss me." "She didn't need me anymore." "Third night, I reached out a ban" "A cognac..." "Couurvoisier..." "Make it a double." "I made a private toast to my freedom." "Some freedom!" "Look at me, I'm covered with pimples!" "Now I'm starting to lose my hair!" "The one thing I had left!" "I'm finished!" "Here's to the past!" "For a minute, I thought you'd pour that cognac over your head." "So you were laughing at me." "No, you made me laugh." "Well, how much is this hair lotion?" "800 liret." "See you tomorrow night." "I started looking around again, looking at girls." "And I couldn't help noticing that some of them looked back." "There was Nora, the scalp therapist I'd started going to." "She always smiled at me in the mirron" "And we became friends in this new, easy atmosphere." "Even Crucifissa became part of it." "To keep you company!" "Flowers, too!" "Well, why not?" "I thought of my father and his garden." "And I bought seeds, bulbs, a gardening book, tools..." "Naturally my new interests weren't appreciated up at headquarters." "But who the hell cares?" "At least my pimples disappeared!" "Well, almost..." "Since [stopped sleeping with her, they'd cleared up!" "Maria Rosa started to walk for an hour each day" "It was Sunday... a beautiful day" "I thought of the mountains, and of Oreste." "How's Oreste?" "Ever hear from him?" "No." "My God." "Now she's reading my mind!" "She's a witch, this wife of mine!" "So is my mother-in-law." "Mum, it's 12:30." "Where is Crucifissa?" "I only wish, devil will take her away." "Oh, here she is." "Anyway the next day I phoned Oreste." "Guess who this is, Doctor." "Alfredo Sbisa!" "What a surprise!" "You bring tears to my eyes." "How's it going?" "Did you strangle your wife yet?" "No." "Did you poison her?" "No, no." "So things are bad and you need help!" "I had a strong desire to see him again." "I asked him to dinen" "Not with her!" "No, no, I promise..." "I reassured him it would be just the two of us..." "Thursday evening at Golden Grill." "Then, on that Thursday I was jolted by a remark of Nora's..." "If you ever invited me to dinner, I sure wouldn't order an omelette!" "You'd go to dinner with me?" "Why not?" "If you invited me..." "OK, I'll invite you to dinner." "When?" "I'm free tonight." "So am I!" "Free like hell." "I was having dinner with Oreste." "I tried phoning him to call it off, but he wasn't in all day" "Should I bring Nora with Oreste?" "Two of us and one girl?" "I had an idea." "Irene, the cashier, accepted right away." "She even changed her night off." "Nora thought Irene was for my friend." "Irene thought the same about Nora..." "And I preferred to ignore the problem." "At last, I was bringing a girl for Oreste." "Alfredo!" "Nice to see you again." "You look good!" "But Oreste had brought a girl for me!" "Nothing to do." "He is Oreste." "I felt like leaving all four of them with him and running away" "But then I would've never met Carolina." "It seems to me that you two really screwed things up!" "Six of us... if you haven't invited some other girls..." "It's better like this." "I sit here." "Alfredo, you sit there." "Alfredo, sit down!" "Hey girls, your turn." "There's something about Carolina that's appealing." "Live/M direct, genuinely happy" "I never met anybody like hen" "Are you and Oreste - very close friends?" "He's just a client." "I landscaped his garden." "You do landscaping?" "Yes, that's my profession." "If I give you some steak, will you give me a stuffed olive?" "Yes sure." "Thanks." "I'll order you some." "Then I wouldn't want them anymore." "Why?" "I only like things that belong to others." "The other night I made a list of the men in my life." "And guess, what did I notice?" "What?" "And I realized they were all married." "May I take one more?" "I'm married, too." "Unhappily married." "Does it show?" "Your friend told me about it." "It's as bad as he says?" "Better skip it?" "OK, then I won't." "Can I have one more?" "What's on your hair?" "A special egg preparation for undernourished roots." "If you want it...!" "Yes, I want it." "Now's the time to plant flowers." "Mimosa, geraniums, gladiolas..." "Some bloom three times a year, ...depending on the sun, of course." "Does your garden get sun?" "Only in the morning." "Too bad." "Listen!" "I feel we're close friends!" "I wish we were..." "Let's go to the greenhouse to see the flowers." "...and have some fresh air." "Leave now?" "But how?" "Yes, why not?" "But what about others?" "Forget it." "Let's go." "But the bill?" "Hell with it!" "These are called Croton." "Beautiful, aren't they?" "And those are philodendrum." "And that's a maidenhead fern." "Oh, my work is so lovely." "Yes, but I don't see any flowers." "That was just an excuse, of course." "It's really possible to kiss like that?" "And even better." "Only now, at the age of 35, do I discover what it means to love." "It's something I haven't experienced before." "and while waiting that horrible scream of her at the end." "I forget time, my obligations, my problems my fear of Maria Rosa and even her existence." "Go on, it's late." "I couldn't care less." "My sweet!" "Maria Rosa!" "Calm down for the sake of your baby." "Call Sbisa!" "Calm down honey." "Crucifissa!" "Bring a towel!" "Damn you!" "Damn you!" "Don't say it!" "If she loses the baby, it'll be on your head!" "You'll go to hell!" "Oh my God!" "An hysterical pregnancy..." "It's quite a rare phenomenon." "Even the most thorough madical analysis can't detect it." "No tests can prove it is a false pregnancy" "So it'll be a long time before..." "we can have intercourse?" "No, don't worry." "In a few days, your wife will be back to normal!" "Back to normal..." "Oh my God!" "But what about Carolina?" "Back to normal..." "Everything back to normal..." "The TVgoes back in the living room." "And I go back to TV" "And I break out again from head to foot." "My pajamas go back on our bed." "And all too soon, just as the doctor predicted Maria Rosa is back to normal." "Excuse me." "I'll be with you in a minute." "I want to shave before I " "Alfredo!" "Alfredo!" "Carolina!" "What are you doing here?" "I ran away from home." "What happened?" "Better not talk about it?" "What will you do now?" "I don't know." "You can't stay here on the church steps." "I can't go to a hotel, or to my father's." "She'd find me." "Yes, let her calm down first." "Let's see what I have to do today." "Oh, to hell with it." "I'm taking you home." "Home to my parents." "Come on." "Mamma!" "Papa!" "Meet my friend Alfredo." "He'll stay with us a while." "Mama, make up the bed in my studio." "Hurry, he's been up all night." "There's no chance of us getting married, so don't worry!" "Oh!" "excuse us." "Feel yourself at home please." "Mama, where are the sheets?" "Oh, I'll show you." "Excuse me." "Would you like to have some coffee?" "No,no, thanks." "Better to have a breakfast Dad." "Sorry." "Where is your suitcase?" "I'm afraid I left it at..." "No problem, I'll go and get it, while you're taking a shower." "Tell me the telephone number of your work." "What?" "You can use this one." "There must be a razor blade..." "My work telephone number?" "Why?" "You'd better have some days off." "Not agree with me?" "Or you want to go to work?" "3-2-5-0" "What are you doing?" "You just go and take a shower" "Agricultural Bank?" "Head officer please." "Hello!" "Signor Sbisa is taking a few days off, for personal reasons." "To have some time with his family." "What do you mean?" "Who are you?" "If you must know, he left his wife." "If he came to work, she'd make a scene at the bank!" "What a wonderful woman!" "Just like an angel." "During that time, she devoted herself to me." "She found me an apartment." "Later she helped me to move in." "And she turned a miserable fugitive... into a happy man." "Bye." "It was marvelous having her with me." "And marvelous that she had a life of her own." "I'd stretch my legs out in bed, alone." "At the end, all alone..." "And listen to the silence in those two small rooms." "I wondered how I could be so happy" "Who knew I'd be crucified for it?" "I could never imagine those knocks on the door would be the beginning of years of persecution, four long years that would bring me to addressing in a meeting fon.." "The Instution of the Divorce Law, without even stammering." "Me, yours truly, Alfredo Sbisa." "Is it fair to deny a man a dignified life?" "...without been forced in hiding..." "Or for the police to persecute us, at the whim of a vindictive spouse?" "Number 10." "Three years of being careful three years of running and hiding." "That's the real sentence."" "...to love, and have to hide." "For some time we had no news of Maria Rosa." "Finally we had enough..." "We started demonstrating to make divorce legal." "We and our companions hoped Italian law would change, but it didn't." "Finally and incredibly divorce became legal!" "Let's toast the real heroines of this past tragedy:" "The women who have suffered humiliation and slander." "And now my personal toast to a lady who for 14 years has been my companion of my life and mother of my children." "Now I can call her, my wife my companion and my wife." "Sbisa!" "We want to listen to Sbisa!" "Sbisa!" "Sbisa!" "Thanks." "I..." "I..." "I..." "Go on, go on." "I..." "My friends!" "I'm afraid we've lost one of our speakers." "...maybe he's nen/ous because he's a bachelor again." "Easy darling, I can handle it." "Anyway, I guess everything already has been said." "Long live republic, long live marriage!" "What is it?" "Don't you want to talk with me?" "You..., you." "Do you want to come with me?" "No, no, not tonight." "Why?" "It won't be fun tonight." "But why?" "Cos' everybody will be doing it tonight." "Do you think so?" "Yes, I'm sure." "Mira and Sherman too?" "I don't wanna think about it!" "Take me home, OK?" "Bye." "Bye." "See you tomorrow!" "Carolina!" "Signorina, the moment I saw you, I knew I couldn't live without you." "Now with deep emotion, I humbly ask for your hand." "This is such a surprise, Signor Alfredo." "Give me time to think about it." "May I at least hope?" "There is nothing I can do to prevent that." "Next morning Iwoke up with my back aching me." "Maybe I had too much drink the night before." "Hello!" "Where are you, what are you doing?" "Listen, don't ever play those jokes on me again." "But, I wasn't kidding you know I'm starting to learn how to be your wife." "Yes, I decided to accept your proposal." "I'm going to break the news to my father and mother tonight." "I'll cook fish-heads for the dinner to celebrate our engagement." "8 o'clock will be alright?" "OK." "Bye, I have to go." "Bye." "Good evening professor." "These are for you." "No." "Oh, but excuse me professor." "...oh, you see, they are Cuban." "How can you do this to us after all the sacrifices we've made for you." "Stop it Mama will you!" "I'm sick and tired of these Greek tragedies or farce anyhow." "I'm a mother who is trying to prevent her daughter from ruining her life and do you call that a farce." "Oh, go on, go on." "And the sacrifices we've had to bring you up for years." "Is that a farce too." "Alfredo, sorry." "We wont be eating here." "C'mon I'll take you to a restaurant." "The plans and hopes of a mother for her daughter..." "Oh, I know what you've wanted for me." "Do you think I want him as my son-in-Iaw?" "A mediocrity." "...who can't even earn a decent living he is just a little bank clerk." "He'll never do better things in his life." "How can you respect him?" "A man capable of leaving his wife!" "One day he'll do the same to you." "When he was my lover you didn't mind." "But now he is no good!" "We thought he was just a boy friend." "I swear we didn't know." "We've never thought you'd been in bed with him." "Let's go." "Don't take her away from us please!" "Stop this Mum." "She means everything to us!" "You know, as long as I stay with them they wouldn't mind if a became a lesbian" "Like Saint Rita." "Oh, she was preventing virgins?" "..." "I tried joking to cheer her up that everything would be alright." "Go on." "Go on sleeping." "I'd like to see you when you awake." "I don't want you to regret for the things you did for your mother and father." "After that you won't be sleeping." "Good night... good night..." "What are you doing." "Stop it." "Give it to me, give me!" "What else could I do?" "I came here." "And you left her just like that?" "No, I first disinfected her with a bit of..." "But you can't leave her now." "She... she might try it again." "Alfredo!" "How naive you are." "She only did it 'cos I was there." "Things are gone too far, either I'll spend my life with them or with you" "What do you think?" "Now, you gonna let me come in?" "Oh, excuse me..." "I... am... sorry." "I have to admit she took me a bit by surprise." "I watched Carolina putting her things on to my bed." "underwear, shoes, stockings..." "Just like a wife coming back from a trip" "I just noticed even the things had different sexes." "...they blend... unite side by side wear each other out and marry" "Well!" "I've never seen you in a night gown before." "Take it off." "There, it's done." "Maria Rosa and I are no longer man and wife." "It's oven All those years of loving, and fighting, and hating." "Now we can go our own way." "Carolina!" "It's over." "All over." "And here I am again." "This time it's city hall, instead of a church." "And next to me is Carolina..." "my own sweet Carolina." "But I still feel the same terror I did the first time." "The same desire to run away!" "Do you, Alfredo Sbisa, take as your lawful wedded wife the here present Carolina Bettini?" "Yes." "Do you, Carolina Bettini..." "My love, say no!" "At least you say no!" "I'm a coward." "But you've always been brave and honest." "Tell the truth, I beg you." "My love, say no!" "Yes."