"Doug, we always respected you and your company." "We just hope you consider sending your business over here to Miles  Rose." "For me, it's not just about business, Bill." "I consider the people I work with family." "Oh, well, so do we." "In fact, my dad is like a father to me." "Well, I've narrowed it down to your firm or Jake Davenport's." "Ah, Jake Davenport, yeah, good people." "I handled his divorce." "It's a shame when a family man gets his head turned by a stewardess like that." "Listen, Mr. Melville, why don't we get to know each other better over dinner tonight?" "I can Molly here reserve us a table for three at Oasis." "Tell you what." "Molly, make it for six, we'll bring the wives, we'll make a night of it." "Or husbands as the case may be." "Oh, I'm not married." "Free as a bird." "Make it five, Molly." "But I do have a boyfriend." "Too bad he can't come." "Five, Molly." "He can come." "I thought he was still in Brazil." "He's back." "Well, I hope I get a chance to meet him." " Oh, you will." " Someday." "Brazil?" "What, was the moon booked?" "Don't be ridiculous." "Scott's not smart enough to be an astronaut." "I've been trying to land Doug Melville for ten years, and I'm not going to screw it up by letting you invite Scott to dinner." "What are you afraid he's going to do?" "Chase the waitresses and pass out in the Key lime pie?" "Alex, what happens at the corporate retreat stays at the corporate retreat." "You heard what Melville said about family." "He wants us there with our significant others." "Scott's not significant." "You know as well as I do this thing between you and him is just a phase." "This is just your way of getting even with me for..." "What was it again?" "Putting you through law school?" "Dad, what do I have to do before you'll take me seriously about this relationship?" "Are you saying you two are in love?" "I'm saying we share very strong feelings of a warm and love-like nature." "Exactly the way I feel about a Reuben sandwich." "Dad, this is a real relationship, and I'm not going to let you ignore it any longer." "Ooh, West Virginia." "If I could only find Kansas." " You can't ignore me either." " I'm not ign..." "Texas!" "You know what?" "I'll talk to you when you're ready to take me seriously." "Don't you dare touch my coin dish!" " Molly." " Hi." " Hey, is Alex around?" " No, she went out." "Oh, that's too bad." "I thought I'd surprise her with lunch." "Oh, I don't know how to break this to you, but she just bought a pre-made tuna from the sandwich guy." "And this is how I have to find out?" "I tried to stop her, but he threw in a cookie." "Tell her I stopped by." "Ah, there it is." "Left my cell phone." "Hey, excuse me." "That's fire department pin, isn't it?" "Yeah, it's my grandfather's." "He was a truckie at Ladder 213." "My uncle was with the 234." "I was a smoke jumper in Montana." " Get out of here!" " Scott Larson." "Doug Melville." "Hey." "Wait a minute." "Was your grandfather Mad Dog Melville?" "The one and only." "No way." "The guy's a legend." "Best hose man in five boroughs." "In more ways than one." "I got to run, but it was great meeting you." " Hey, same here." " Yeah." "Take care." "Yeah." "Sir." "Yeah, right." "Hey, Bill." "Forgot my phone." "I hope he wasn't bothering you." "Not at all." "As a matter of fact, I thought he was a fine young man." "Scott?" "The one with no suit?" "Yeah, yeah." "Seemed real genuine." "I wish there were more like him." "I couldn't agree more." "Good ol' Scott." "He's dating my daughter." "Oh, so that's Alex's boyfriend." "Are you kiddin?" "Can't get those two apart no matter how hard you try." "Really?" "Are we talking wedding bells?" "Oh, Doug," "I only hope so." "Well, I look forward to getting to know him tonight at dinner." "Oh..." "Scott is going to be there, right?" "You know, I'm pretty sure he has plans tonight." "That's okay." "Maybe I can have dinner with Davenport tonight and we'll just reschedule when Scott can make it." "Oh, wait a minute." "What am I thinking about?" "His plans are with me." "It's our movie night." " Of course, he'll be there." " Oh, great." " I'll see you then." " Yeah, we look forward to it." "Crap!" "Hey, you got a minute?" "For you?" "Nope." "That's funny." "Listen, I, uh," "I've been thinking about what you said, and you're right." "Thanks, but could you be a little more specific 'cause I'm right a lot when we talk?" "It's just that I've got to be more respectful of your feelings, and" "I've been too harsh on Scott." "I've been a complete jackass." "Oh, Dad, don't be so easy on yourself." "I'm just trying to say I'm ready to give Scott a chance." " You are?" " Yeah." "Well,if you really mean that, you'll invite him to dinner tonight." "Dinner?" "Oh, I forgot about dinner." "Bring him along." "That's a great idea." " It is?" " I wish I'd thought of it myself." "Oh, Dad, thanks." " Hey." " Hey." "I still can't believe my dad invited you to this dinner tonight." "You aren't nervous, are you?" "No, I've got no reason to be nervous." "He wouldn't kill me in a public place." "Would he?" "I was thinking of losing the tie." "No, I like the tie." "It's distinguished." "Maybe it'll come in handy tonight when we get home." "Wait." "Uh, where'd you get the tie?" "Tell me, Julian, be honest." "This tie do anything for you?" "It's only 8:30, mate." "I'm not quite ready to give up on the dream of a heterosexual evening." "Excuse me." "Well, it looks like someone needs another drink." "And since your credit card's out, why don't you buy me one as well?" "You're pretty cocky." "All right, what's your pleasure?" "Why don't I tell you that after you've bought me the drink?" "My God, it's so easy for you, isn't it?" "Yes, well, I am quite good-looking, and not in that off-putting Tom Cruise-Brad Pitt kind of way." "No, no, it's because of the accent." "You can say just about anything and women are mesmerized." "You're like" "The Chick Whisperer." "Well, I reckon women like me because I'm charming and clever and I can unhook a bra with my toes." "No, they like you because you say things like "mate" and "loo,"" "even though that just means "friend" and "toilet."" "Sorry, mate, but I can't have another pint until I've gone to the loo." "Ooh, what part of England are you from?" "Well, I'm from a little town called Cambridge just south of London." "North." "Just north of south of London." "Jolly confusing." "We're on the metric system." "Hey." "There they are." "Honey, you look absolutely gorgeous." "Thanks, Bill." "It's just a tie." "That was funny." "Where'd you find this guy?" "I appreciate your making such an effort." "That's your first scotch, right?" "I thought Mrs. Rose was coming." "Oh, a little conflict." "She thought she looked fat in her dress and I agreed." " Hey, all." " Hey, Doug." " This is my wife, Susan." " How are you?" " Nice to meet you." " Good to see you." "Bill, where's the missus?" " Ah, family crisis." "I hope it's nothing too big." "Depends on how you look at it actually." "I'm going to tell 'em we're here." " Good to see you, Scott." " You, too." "You got to tell me some of those smoke jumper stories tonight, huh?" "You two have met?" "Uh, yeah, in your office this morning." "Funny coincidence us having dinner tonight, huh?" "Actually, I told Bill I like this guy so much, he had to join us." "So it's the opposite of coincidence." "You could almost say it was planned." "Absolutely." "Your dad was willing to change the whole schedule so his future son-in-law could be here." "Now hold on, hold on." "That Bill over there said that about this Scott over here?" "That is so like my dad." "Table's ready." " Okay?" " Good." "Oh!" "I can't believe this." "His pretending to like you just so he can land Melville." "You're kidding." "And he promised me to take our relationship seriously." "And you believed him?" "He is not getting away with this." "You are about to see how sharp the thorns of this Rose can be." "What?" "Just follow my lead." "The next thing I know, I'm on the back of his motorcycle, my arms wrapped around him, riding into the sunset." "We've been together ever since." "That's so romantic." "A valentine." "Doug, I don't know when I've met three more charming people." "Well, Susan's stamp of approval is enough for me." "Bill, you've got my business." " Oh, terrific." " Isn't that great?" "Well, listen, nothing gives me more joy than to welcome newcomers to the Rose family." " Hear, hear." " Hear, hear." "Did you hear that, honey?" "Newcomers are welcome." "So should we tell him?" "Tell us what?" "What?" "Oh, Dad, it's not the right time." "Well, sure it is; you can say whatever you want." "We're among family now." "All right." "We're getting married!" "Oh, God!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Congratulations!" " So when is the big day?" " Oh, as soon as possible." "You know, I've always wanted to get married at the Waldorf, but they're booked." "Yeah, so we might just elope." "Yeah... what are we doing this weekend?" "Nothing but a whole lot of cuddling." "Wa-Water over here, please?" "!" "You kids don't want to elope." "Yeah, what he said." "You want everybody there to share your joy." "No water, Scotch." "I don't know if I can wait to get married." "I mean," "I love her so much." "Oh." "I love him so much, too." "Bill, this must be like a dream come true for you." "A dream." "A dream that won't end." "This calls for another toast." "Bill, don't you have something to say?" "I'm afraid it wouldn't come out right, Doug." "Oh, come on, Dad, just speak from the heart." "I'm not sure it's still working." "You all right there," " Dad?" " Oh." "He gave up the throne for the love of a woman." "God, that's so romantic." "That's just how we Brits are." "Well, it seems that someone needs another drink, and since you're going, why don't you grab me one, as well?" "Sure but first, I've got to run to the ladies' room." "I mean," " the loo." " Pip pip." "If only I had thought of this in ninth grade, my whole life could have been different." "I'm telling you, it's not the accent." "It's just the confidence it has given you." "It's like a fake tan or a rolled-up sock down your pants." "No, I'm pretty sure she just likes the way I say "loo."" "Okay, see that woman over there?" "I'm going to get her number, and I'm going to do it without using my English accent just to prove my point." "Tally-ho!" "Hey, hi, how're you doing?" "It looks like someone needs another brewski, so since you're going, why don't you grab me one, as well?" "I don't think so." "Okay." "Yep, been there." "Well, at least I got my dignity back." "You're going to have to keep up that" ""north of south of Cambridge" accent all night." "No, I think this has gone on long enough." "As soon as she gets back," "I'm gonna tell her the truth." "Hey, you know, I was thinking maybe we could go back to my place and have a drink there?" "As long as you've got Pimm's, love!" " Hey, Alex." " Hey." " Congratulations." " Thanks." "Wait, for what?" "Your dad said you were getting married." "At least that's what it sounded like." "He was breathing into a paper bag when he told me." "Yeah, he's pretty upset." "I mean, poor guy." "Look, I'm not getting married." "It's just a little joke I'm playing on him." "I don't know, Alex." "That's a pretty elaborate deception to carry out." "Excuse me." "Hello, love, smashing of you to ring me up!" "I'll talk to you later." " Hey." " Hi." "Your dad's in your office." "He walked right past me with this far-off look in his eye." "Look, I know you're my boss and everything, but aren't you being a little mean?" "No." "Mean would be telling him I'm pregnant." "Nah, he's suffered enough." "I'm going to tell him the truth." "That's the right thing to do." "But, hey, can you wait until after we taste wedding cakes?" "Yeah, I'll just go get a Pop-Tart from the kitchen." "Hey, Dad." "Alex..." "I just have one thing to say to you." "Congratulations." "What?" "I know the words didn't come out exactly right last night, but I went home and thought about it, and it hit me." "My little girl has found somebody that can make her happy." "I can get on board with that." "Oh, Dad..." " that's so sweet, but actually..." " I got you the Waldorf." "What?" "The Gold Room." "I had to pull some strings, put down 30 grand for the deposit." "And to see the look on your face makes it all worthwhile." "Dad, we have to talk." "Who are you calling?" " Nana?" " Nana?" "!" " Alex has news!" " No, no, no, Daddy, I can't." "Don't deny her this." "She always wanted to see you married before she turned 100." "You're two years late." " Make her happy." " No." " Here she is." " Dad, I don't want..." "Nana?" "It's me, Alex." "How are you feeling?" "Oh, for God's sake, that'll take a week!" " Mom, guess what?" " Dad, wait!" " Alex is getting married." " No!" "You didn't wait." "I didn't think you'd live to see it, either." "Dad, call her back." "Call her back?" "She's only awake a half hour a day." "Dad." "Mom," "I'll call you back." "Yeah." "Okay, I don't quite know how to tell you this, but try not to get too upset, okay?" "It was just a joke." "What?" "!" "Scott and I aren't getting married." "We made it up." "Dad, say something." "You're taking it very well." "I'll back you on whatever you do, especially this." "A minute ago, you were thrilled Scott and I were getting married." "If not marrying Scott makes you happy, then we're both happy." "I'm not happy." "Dad, you lied to me." "You didn't accept Scott." "You just used him to land Melville." "That, that... that's one way of looking at it." "Go ahead, and make a joke out of it, but you really hurt me, Dad." "Honey, I know I screwed up big time." "I just hope you can forgive me someday soon, 'cause I won't be around forever, you know." "Oh, please-- your mom is 102." "You got the genes of a sea turtle." "What were you thinking?" "!" "Melville!" "I was thinking Melville." "I've been trying to land him for so long, I lost sight of what's important to me:" "you." " And Scott?" " No, just you." "Dad, I'm not just me, anymore." "I'm with Scott." "You're going to have to accept that." "Yes, I am, and I'm sorry." "I should have respected your feelings before." "Thank you, Dad." "Even though it burns my ass that you two are together." "It burns my ass you had to add that." "So... are we good?" "Yeah, we're good." "I guess now the only question is how do we tell Nana her little Alex" " isn't getting married?" " Oh, don't worry about Nana." "I'll throw some rice in her hair and tell her she had a great time at the wedding." "So what about the Waldorf?" "Can your dad get his money back?" "Nope, but it's not a total loss." "Nana turns 103 in a month, so we're just going to have a big party." "I feel bad, but..." "I really enjoyed torturing your dad." "Oh, my God, the look on his face when we told him we were getting married." " And we might elope?" " Yeah." "Oh, and when we told him how much we loved each other?" "Okay, who wants more wine?" "Alex," " last night..." " I know." "We were just kidding around." "God, I can't believe my Dad actually fell for it." " No, I meant..." " It's okay, we don't have to talk about it." "When the time is right, that moment will happen for real or not, but the last thing we need now... is some awkward conversation about who feels..." "Alex, I love you!" "You do?" "Yeah, I do." "Cool." "'Cause last night, when you said it, my whole body was, like, "Wow," you know?" "And I thought, "Either this guy's a really great actor..." "Oh, my God, I love you, too." "I don't mean "too" just because you said it first." "I do actually love you enough to have said it first." "I just didn't know, like, if you were..." "Yeah, that." "I couldn't do it." "We got back to her place, and I felt so guilty, I made up some stupid excuse about dirty knickers and ran off." "So after this whole charade, you didn't sleep with her?" "You could have been yourself and done that." "Look, as soon as she gets here, I'm going to tell her the truth." "Oh, there she is." "Good luck, mate." "Hey, Stephen." " Darling." "Listen, there's something I've got to tell you, and I hope it doesn't make you hate me." "I could never hate you." "Yes, hold that thought." "Look, I'm not really British." "I just put on the accent to get you to like me." "I'm really from Morristown, New Jersey." "Sorry." "So are we good?" "Ballocks." "I couldn't help notice you and your drink parted company." "Please," "I am not in the mood for any more British accents tonight." "Boy, you must be hearing things, little lady." "I was born right here in the good ol' U.S. of A."