"Oh, my god!" "It's David Gitelson!" "Oh, my god!" "David!" "David, over here!" "Going all the way!" "Go, the Wildcats!" "All the way to the championship!" "You can bet on that!" "Go get them, baby!" "Oh, what time is it?" "Don't ask me." "I don't even know what day it is." "Hey, what's this I'm sitting on?" "Oh, I told you, I came straight from practice." "Classified." "What are you, a spy?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "That is top secret." "You can't touch this unless you're wearing one of these." "Oh." "Mr. Gitelson, are we going home?" "No." "I want to go to the other club." "To the after-party." "Yeah, let's do it." "Let's do it!" "To the after-party!" "Here you are, sir." "Hey." "It's me." "I got the playbook." "Yeah, I'm looking at it right now." "Listen." "We've got to move fast." "We got one hour to do this." "Don't worry about that." "Just have the money ready." "It's all there." "You know, normally, I'd say good luck." "But you're not going to need it now." "What's going on, David?" "What the hell did you do, huh?" "Did you sell me out?" "What are you talking about?" "No, don't lie to me, man." "You know what?" "I'm calling the cops." "What did I do?" "Listen, you could cost me the game!" "Get up!" "Get up right now, 'cause I'm going to call the police on you!" "It's a jungle out there" "Disorder and confusion everywhere" "No one seems to care" "Well, I do" "Hey, who's in charge here?" "It's a jungle out there" "Poison in the very air we breathe" "You know what's in the water that you drink?" "Well, I do." "It's amazing" "People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time" "If you paid attention, you'd be worried, too" "You better pay attention" "Or this world we love so much might just kill you" "I could be wrong now" "But I don't think so" "'Cause there's a jungle out there" "It's a jungle out there" "The Condors have been there." "Those guys have all been to the playoffs." "The Cats are going to choke." "Richardson's the best running back in the league." "I don't know, boys." "I heard Richardson was hurt." "Yeah." "He tweaked his knee." "Mr. Monk said something very interesting today about the game." "No, I didn't." "I didn't say anything." "Yes, you did." "What was it again?" "It's just that..." "I saw a photo of the team in a newspaper." "It was just kind of interesting." "And I noticed that, if you added up all their uniform numbers, it adds up to 1000." "Wow." "Exactly 1000." "Anybody else notice that?" "That's got to be a good omen, right?" "I didn't say it was a good omen." "Hey." "Everybody's coming on Sunday?" "Yeah!" "I've got a brand new 52-inch plasma TV." "We're going to fire up the grill and watch the Condors kick butt." "I printed out some directions." "Here you go." "Whoa, hey." "What about Mr. Monk?" "Oh." "Sure." "Sorry." "I didn't think..." "Here you go." "Thank you." "Oh, wait." "No, wait." "You're talking about this Sunday?" "Yes." "Mmm, I can't make it." "Sorry." "I'm, uh, I'm going to be at Summit Stadium." "Wait a minute." "You're going to be at the stadium?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Are you going to the game?" "Yeah." "Since when?" "I have to go." "I promised Bob." "You know, Costas." "You know Bob Costas." "I didn't mention that?" "I helped him out of a little jam about 10 years ago." "I never mentioned this?" "No." "Bob Costas?" "The announcer?" "No." "Yeah." "Anyway, he sent me this ticket, and" "I promised him I'd show up." "It's not even a good seat." "It's..." "I have to sit in a box." "A box." "A press box." "Oh, no." "A press box with Bob Costas." "Look, there's an all-access pass in here." "You can go into the locker room with that." "Why would I want to go in the locker room?" "Hang on." "Oh, my goodness." "Monk, there are two tickets here." "Yeah." "Oh, yeah." "Who are you gonna take?" "Natalie." "Natalie." "Yeah." "Mr. Monk, can I talk to you for one second?" "Don't worry, I'm not going to charge you for the ticket." "Here you go." "Mr. Monk, you should take the captain." "He really wants to go." "I know." "It'll be fun!" "You and Leland at the big game, hanging out." "Couple of guys." "You'll have some male bonding time." "I think I'd be more comfortable having male bonding time with you." "No." "Go." "He's gonna wanna go in the locker room." "Go." "Thank you." "That's right, Condors!" "Condors!" "I'm coming over there next!" "We're going all the way!" "Oh, yeah, you'd better believe it!" "Come on!" "Right here!" "Help yourself!" "Don't mind if I do." "Thank you, brother." "That's right, Condors!" "Condors!" "That's right!" "There you are." "Pretty sweet, huh?" "Who are all these people?" "Where are their parents?" "Well, it's a tailgate party, Monk." "People get here early and they start to party and they get all pumped up for the game." "But they're not actually playing in the game." "Well, it doesn't make any sense if you think about it." "The trick is not to think about it." "You just gotta turn your mind off." "You do have an off switch, right?" "I don't think so." "Well, here." "You can borrow mine." "Beer, nature's off switch." "No, thanks, I think I'll pass." "Hey, look at this guy." "Pace yourself, buddy!" "It isn't even kickoff yet!" "Yeah." "Get a job." "Hippie." "Excuse me, sir." "Could I ask you a question?" "I'm taking a little survey." "Of course." "Do you have Condor fever?" "I do now." "Thank you." "Because we've got the fever!" "Oh, yeah!" "Back at Summit Stadium for one of the greatest playoff games ever." "Just minutes now from kickoff." "Those Wildcat quarters are going to have all sorts of trouble staying with their speedsters." "Because the one thing you can't teach is speed." "Blaylock has been picking teams..." "Disher." "Oh, hey, Natalie." "Yeah, listen." "I can't talk right now." "I'm watching the pregame." "No." "No, no, no." "It's just me." "Yeah." "No, it's great." "It's better than being there." "Can I talk to you later?" "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh, okay, bye." "We're gonna go back upstairs with Bob Costas." "So, the playoffs get underway at Summit Stadium with the Wildcats and the Condors." "The Condors heavily favored." "And you can see why." "That passing combination of Dick Blaylock and Scott..." "I think I'm watching the game." "Hey, Pops." "You feeling it?" "I said, are you feeling it?" "Yeah, I'm feeling it." "I'm feeling it." "Feeling it?" "I'm feeling it." "Yeah?" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Did you enjoy civilization, Leland?" "I sure did." "It was a hell of a run." "Eight thousand years." "Championship game." "Great seats." "Perfect weather." "It doesn't get any better than this." "You said it." "Tickets." "This is better than sex." "What isn't?" "Tickets." "Tickets." "Tickets." "This will just take a minute." "I want to thank you in advance for your patience." "What did you do?" "You sealed the envelope?" "Almost..." "Almost there." "All right!" "Let's fire up the grill!" "Whoo!" "For God's sake, Monk." "It's almost kickoff time." "Just tear it open." "Give me that." "Whoo, whoo!" "Whoa, easy with that stuff!" "All right, all right, you big baby." "You're like a child." "I'm not." "I'm not a child." "Why don't you just take someone else?" "I know you want to." "No, no, no." "Hey, hey, hey." "Come here." "I don't want to take anybody else, Monk, okay?" "I'm here with you." "I'm having fun with you." "Here we go." "We're going to have a great time." "What was that?" "What was that?" "Uh..." "I don't know." "Just give him the tickets." "No, really." "We should go check that out." "Don't you think?" "Check what out?" "So, the playoffs get underway at Summit Stadium." "It's the Wildcats and the Condors, the Condors heavily favored, and you can see why." "That passing combination of Dick Blaylock, Scott Seidel..." "You're a lucky man." "If you were standing any closer, you might have been killed." "Better get you to a hospital." "No, no." "Not today, pal." "I've never missed a Condors game in my life." "Condors!" "How's this for a bandage?" "Good as new." "Better than new!" "Condors!" "Guess I'm done here." "What was that?" "That was the opening kickoff." "We're officially missing the game." "Why am I not surprised?" "Monk, what are you doing?" "With the hands." "What..." "It's just a charcoal grill." "It doesn't make any sense." "Why would it just explode?" "Monk, it makes perfect sense." "These things blow up all the time." "First off, the kid was plastered." "He dumps a half a gallon of lighter fluid on the son of a bitch, drops a match, and kaboom!" "No, no, no!" "First play of the game, and we're already behind." "That's not lighter fluid." "Big Mack going deep to his good receiver there on a fantastic..." "Looked like a 40-yard pass, there!" "Looks like a little miscommunication between the quarters." "He came up, I think he thought the safety was going to come up and take it." "The pass was a little bit short." "He was able to come back and get it and turn around and get it in for six quick points." "Extra point is good." "And we're going to see whether now these Condors can answer them, as the Wildcats come out and take the early lead." "Seven nothing in this game." "Good, good, good, good." "Good field position." "And he's hammered there, down at the line of scrimmage." "It's gasoline." "You son of a bitch." "I didn't do it." "Well, at least quit smiling." "He tried to hit it, but there was just nothing there for him." "Well, this is better than the grill." "This is authentic." "This is how the pioneers used to eat." "Captain." "What?" "We're on duty." "I'm not on duty." "Their defense is killing us, man." "They've got to get Landow out of there!" "They don't have anyone else." "Gitelson didn't show up today." "They were just talking about it." "He's MIA." "Nobody knows where he's at." "What the hell is going on?" "Our backup quarterback doesn't even show up." "No, no." "Wait." "Davey Gitelson?" "He's definitely here." "I saw him this morning." "I asked him for his autograph." "He blew me off." "I think it was him." "Excuse me." "It's Chet, right?" "We're with the police." "I wonder if we could ask you a couple of questions about the fire." "Sure." "I found this Condors water bottle." "Condors!" "That's absolutely correct." "Um..." "There was some gasoline in it, see?" "Did you notice anybody tampering with your grill?" "I figured." "It's no big mystery." "Everybody knows who did it." "They do, huh?" "Yeah, this guy named Cory something." "He drives up from LA, him and his moron loser friends." "Legally, we can't stop them from parking here." "Believe me." "We checked." "Why would they want to sabotage your grill?" "Well, that's a good question." "I'll tell you why." "Because the Wildcats suck!" "We'll take you down, Condors!" "Wildcats suck!" "You suck!" "They're Wildcat fans, Monk." "See, it's a big rivalry." "Two years ago, they put a bag of bees in my car." "Yeah, then his mom spat on my mom." "Then we flipped his RV." "God, I love football!" "Condors!" "I told you." "It was just a prank." "I just want to make sure." "I wish we had some lab equipment." "We could dust for prints." "Hey, you know what I wish?" "I wish there was two of me, so one of me could be out here wasting my life with you, and the other one could be in there watching the football game with Bob Costas." "Hello!" "We come in peace." "We're looking for a fellow named Cory?" "Excuse me." "Yeah." "Can we help you?" "Yes, sir." "I hope so." "We're with the San Francisco Police Department." "We're investigating an arson fire that took place over in section 15 about a half an hour ago." "That can't be a real badge, huh?" "Pardon me?" "Well, there's no self - respecting police department in America would let Leland "the Hound Dog" Stottlemeyer carry a loaded weapon!" "Butterman!" "Cory Butterman!" "Leland!" "Brett!" "Hey!" "These are my buddies from high school." "This is, um..." "Adrian." "Adrian." "Adrian." "How you doing?" "How are you?" "What happened to you?" "What?" "You move up here and suddenly you're a Condor fan?" "I haven't lived in Los Angeles for thirty years." "And as far as I'm concerned," "LA still doesn't have a football team." "Ooh!" "You ugly, dumb son of a bitch!" "Hey, hey." "This man is a friend of mine." "If you want to make fun of him, you have to make fun of me first." "Monk." "Monk, they're just fooling with you." "It's okay." "They're just..." "It's just guy talk." "Yeah, I know." "I know." "That's what I was doing." "I was..." "That's what I was doing." "What is up with your yellow teeth?" "Don't you know how to brush?" "And you, hey, the moon called." "It wants all its craters back." "From your skin." "Because you've got bad skin." "So, what's going on?" "You guys married?" "Oh, yeah, read 'em and weep." "The party's over." "What about you, man?" "Well, he was married, and he got divorced." "Then his last girlfriend got arrested for murder." "Right?" "You ugly, dumb, sad, lonely, stupid, sad, son of a..." "Right?" "Yeah." "Are you really a cop?" "Yeah." "Can you take care of this?" "I mean, for old time's sake." "A speeding ticket?" "Hey, that's 2:40 pm today." "That's only..." "That's only 35 minutes ago." "Yeah, well, I'll see what I can do." "So, what's all this about a fire?" "If it was my kids," "I'll kill them." "They've been butting heads with these Condor fans for years." "Actually, this ticket means that you and your boys are off the hook." "It happened before you got here, so this is what we call an alibi." "In that case, let's play some ball!" "Let's see if you've still got that Stottlemeyer touch!" "Let's go." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Hut, hut!" "All right." "Go long!" "More, more, more!" "Damn." "Yep." "Still got it." "The Stottlemeyer touch." "Whoo-hoo!" "Go Condors!" "Randy?" "Somebody ordered some pizza?" "Randy?" "Randy?" "Hello?" "Whoa, out of bounds." "That was out of bounds." "You guys are blind!" "What's the score?" "Down by nine." "Wait, no." "Six." "Can you hold this?" "Pizza." "The Condors heavily favored, and you can see why." "That passing combination of Dick Blaylock and Scott Seidel." "Is that blood?" "Yeah, it's from the evidence room, so don't touch it." "I won't touch it." "I'm starving!" "Thank you." "I wish we had bendy straws." "Yeah." "I can't believe I used to run with those guys." "We all got suspended one time." "We had this new vice principal..." "The important thing is, though, that they have an alibi." "Speeding ticket, right?" "Jesus, Monk." "Are you back on that?" "Give it a rest." "No, I think we should pack up that grill and bring it downtown." "Monk!" "It was just a prank." "Yes, but what if it wasn't?" "You heard the paramedic." "That guy could have been killed." "No, something is going on here." "It feels more like attempted murder." "Hey!" "You want this to be attempted murder." "You do." "Yeah, admit it!" "You need this to be a real case because that's all you know." "Snooping around, sniffing around." "Maybe you're right about the grill." "You probably are." "But it can wait." "It can wait." "We can lock the scene down." "Nobody's going anywhere." "Tickets here!" "Who needs two?" "Who needs two?" "Hey, isn't that illegal?" "That's illegal!" "It's a football game, Monk!" "Come on!" "Use the off switch!" "Everybody has an off switch, right?" "He's probably selling them for twice what they're worth." "Maybe not." "All right." "Leland, wait." "Wait a second." "All right, look." "You're right." "Maybe I am overthinking it." "I always do." "Let's just lock down this scene, and then we'll go to the game." "The off switch?" "Click." "Click." "Changed your mind, huh?" "Woman's prerogative." "Press box." "Level three." "Press box." "Level three!" "Two tickets to paradise, buddy." "That ring." "Huh?" "What?" "Have you seen this ring?" "Yeah, that's the championship ring." "Yeah." "That's the ring they won last year?" "Look at that." "You see the stripes?" "On the band." "Yeah, what about them?" "What?" "What?" "Oh, no." "Monk!" "Hey, that's a real ring." "This must be the player they were talking about." "The one who didn't show up." "David Gitelson." "Number 18." "Captain, he's cold." "Hey, was that really Davey Gitelson?" "Yes, sir." "Didn't you say you were talking to him this morning?" "You asked him for an autograph?" "I did?" "I don't think so." "There goes the star witness." "Backup quarterback, huh?" "They're, uh, not going to say anything until after the game." "That makes sense." "So, what do you think?" "Drug deal or steroids?" "Maybe." "Look at this." "He was sitting on it." "The playbook." "The playbook?" "Yeah." "Every player gets one." "The whole game plan is in here." "Keep an eye on that." "Yeah, uh, Captain?" "This is John Metzger." "David Gitelson's personal driver." "He was the last person to see Gitelson alive." "Well, like I told the Lieutenant, I dropped him off this morning, just like any game day." "6:15, maybe 6:20." "He went into the stadium and that was it." "I never saw him again." "Did he say anything?" "Did he seem worried about anything?" "Oh, no, sir." "He was excited." "Up for the game." "You have a..." "You have a, what, a smudge there." "God." "What happened there?" "What happened?" "I don't know." "Do you remember every little smudge you ever got on your clothing?" "Yes." "Yes, I do." "I had a beer." "Is that a crime?" "Uh, no." "No, no, it isn't." "Is that it?" "Can I go?" "This whole thing is kind of freaking me out." "I'd like to get home and try to shake it off." "Yeah, sure." "You can go, but make sure the Lieutenant knows where you are." "Okay." "Why are you letting him go?" "Because, Monk." "I can't hold him." "He's just a witness." "That was a charcoal smudge on his jacket, and the smell of gasoline on his lapel." "You're still on the grill." "What grill?" "The..." "Somebody's barbecue grill caught fire right before kickoff." "So what does that have to do with Gitelson?" "Good question." "I think, somehow, they're connected." "Okay, look." "It's your day off." "There's nothing more you can do here." "You two go and enjoy the game." "I'll take care of this." "Really?" "Well, yeah." "Turns out it's not our case, anyway." "Chief Brenner just called and he's sending a squad down." "I'm supposed to stick around and bring 'em up to speed." "Ha!" "You hear that?" "It's not our case." "Let's go." "Enjoy the game!" "Oh, hey!" "Tell Bob Costas Randy Disher says hi." "Does he know you?" "No." "Well, then, wouldn't that just confuse him?" "Only one way to find out." "Yeah." "Come on." "Go!" "Go Condors!" "Oh, hell." "I'm sorry." "I can't do it." "Of course you can, Monk." "What happened to the off switch?" "Come on." "Clickety-click." "Click, click." "It's not working." "For the love of God." "I think we should talk to that guy again." "That Chet Walsh with the funny, foamy finger." "Remember?" "He had this big, foamy finger." "I know who you mean, Monk." "He said he saw Gitelson this morning." "Look." "Monk." "It's out of our jurisdiction." "It's not our case." "We'll just be in the way." "Okay?" "Come on." "Every good cop knows you can't be in it 24l7." "Even God took a day off." "And what day did he take off?" "It was Sunday." "Why did he take off Sunday?" "I'll tell you why Sunday!" "So he could watch football!" "Huh?" "Come on!" "You used to be a fun guy." "I don't think so." "Yeah." "No, I remember." "I remember the time when you graduated." "Right?" "We stole that rowboat, you, me, and Trudy, and the lake patrol stopped us and you started speaking Spanish." "Now, that was funny!" "That was funny!" "Where's that guy?" "Trudy died." "Yes." "Trudy died." "But you didn't die." "You're alive." "Alive is a funny word." "Could I have my ticket, please?" "Wait a second." "'Cause I'm going in there, with or without you." "Hey, what's your problem?" "Move the car!" "Move it!" "I'm trying to get out." "It's called reverse!" "You can't miss it!" "It's a big "R"!" "Jerk." "You again." "Yes, sir." "Me again." "You're missing the game." "Maybe the real game is out here in the parking lot." "Have you been siphoning gas?" "From my own car?" "Why would I do that?" "I don't know." "You tell me." "No." "You tell me." "No, you tell me." "Look, I don't know what you're talking about, okay?" "They said I could leave, so I'm leaving." "We had an explosion here today." "A guy was burned." "His name was Chet Walsh?" "Never heard of him." "Football jersey?" "Big Condors fan?" "Drunk?" "Yelling all the time?" "It's a tailgate party." "You're describing everybody here." "I'm pretty sure you know this guy." "Because you tried to kill him about an hour ago." "Why would I do that?" "I don't know." "You don't know much, do you?" "Would you move away from the car, please?" "I'm going home." "Shawn Metzger!" "You can try and leave this stadium." "You can drive away." "But you're not really going anywhere." "The wheels of justice may turn slowly, but sooner or later" "they always find a..." "What was the question again?" "You said you were here about 6:30 this morning." "You saw Davey Gitelson coming through that door." "Right." "Right." "And you asked him for an autograph, but he ignored you." "Right." "Right." "You said he was upset about something." "Right!" "He kept..." "He kept repeating something over and over." "Right!" "What was he yelling?" "Chet!" ""Out of order!" "It's out of order," that's what he kept saying." "What was out of order?" "I don't know!" "It must have been something." "Something." "That's a big help." "Thanks." "Okay." "Yeah." "It's not the phone." "Something is out of order." "Something is out of order." "Must be inside." "Whoa!" "It's an all-access pass." "Come on." "Dude!" "You're, like, my best friend." "You want to hear something sad?" "You're my best friend, too." "So the Wildcats take yet another time out, and with the score still tied." "We'll be back right after this." "Hey." "So he was murdered, huh?" "I still can't believe it." "Well, you know, these things happen every day." "Yes, but it's heartbreaking." "Where's Adrian?" "Oh, he's outside." "He's working the case." "He can't give it up." "That's just like him." "The monomaniacal Mr. Monk." "Yeah." "Did he ever tell you how we met?" "No." "Not really." "He mentioned something about a demented cat salesman." "Well, no, that's not it, exactly." "There's a distinction here, and it's, really..." "It's fascinating." "The cat salesman was not demented." "He sold demented cats." "No, no, but really, understand." "He had a Siamese who was manic depressive." "He had a paranoid Persian." "The guy tried to sell me a calico kitten who was completely psychotic." "Evil." "I mean, tried to kill me." "The kitten tried to kill me." "Yeah?" "Okay." "Nice game, though, huh?" "It's a great game." "Yeah." "He had a Burmese." "Multiple personalities, one of which was a dog." "That's how weird it was." "I'm not really a cat person." "Well, it's..." "These are the facts." "I'm just telling you." "This one works." "They all work." "So, what was out of order?" "I don't know." "It's like a mystery." "This is Chet." "What are they offering?" "Don't kid yourself. 55 million means 70 million." "We don't counter till they hit the number." "I'll call you later." "Who are you?" "Hedge fund manager." "But not today." "Condors!" "All right." "Here's the snap." "Wildcats blitzing." "And it's picked off again!" "That's the third Condor turnover." "The defensive coordinator of the Wildcats," "Brian Binsack has been one step ahead of the Condors all game long." "It's almost as if he's reading their minds." "You know, with head coach Kent McFarland scheduled to retire at the end of the year for the Wildcats, I'd say the way things are going, Binsack is a shoe-in to get the job." "I got it." "I know who killed Davey Gitelson." "It wasn't a vending machine." "I can't help but wonder what we're talking about." "Something was out of order, right?" "But it wasn't any machine." "It was the playbook." "The team playbook." "I remember now." "I saw the book." "Some of the pages were mixed up." "Here's what happened." "His limo driver, Shawn Metzger, was in a perfect position to steal the Condors' playbook." "He probably only had a few minutes." "He made a quick copy." "And at some point, the pages must have gotten mixed up." "He sold the Xeroxed copy to that coach from the Wildcats." "He made a few bucks." "He probably thought that was the end of it." "But this morning, after he got dropped off, Gitelson realized something was wrong." "It's out of order." "It's all out of order." "Whoo!" "What?" "Will you sign that?" "No, look, look, I'm looking for somebody." "He figured out what happened." "He went looking for the driver." "Did you sell me out?" "What are you talking about?" "No, don't lie to me, man." "The fight must have escalated." "Metzger panicked." "But the gates had already opened." "Fans were just starting to show up." "Metzger was racing the clock." "He was improvising." "He had to hide the body in plain sight." "That's why Metzger was trying to kill you." "He saw you two talking." "He thought you knew too much." "Hedge fund manager." "Yeah, that makes sense." "So what do we do now?" "Call the cops?" "No." "There's not enough time." "If he destroys that playbook, we don't have a case." "It's probably in the locker room." "What?" "Well, this morning, the Condors were favored by 12, but the Wildcat defense has played a nearly flawless first two quarters of football." "And as we send you back to the studio for the halftime show, it's all tied up." "Ten to 10." "Ten to 10." "Monk would love that, huh?" "Yep." "Everybody, settle down!" "Settle down!" "Eyes up front." "That was a good first half." "But we have a long way to go." "The key is to maintain control." "Stay focused." "They're going to try to change some things up on us in the second half." "Look for the triple option out of the wishbone formation." "Triple option?" "Coach, I haven't seen that since college." "Well, you're going to see it today." "You can count on it." "Probably on their first possession." "All right, Dante, take us home." "Okay, guys." "Let's take a knee." "Lord, let your light continue to shine on this team today." "Give us the wisdom and the strength to accept whatever fortune befalls this team today." "Give us the power to devour the other team." "Give us the strength and the discipline to remain calm in all hard times." "Help us dominate the other side, Lord." "Give us the power to just totally annihilate the other team." "Amen." "Amen." "Hey, that's our playbook!" "No, no!" "This is not your playbook!" "This is stolen property!" "I'm a former police officer." "Here's the thing." "Wildcats suck!" "Security, get that playbook!" "Security!" "Get that book!" "Hey, Bob." "Yeah?" "I gotta go." "Now?" "It's only halftime." "Yeah, I know." "You've been great." "Thank you for everything." "No problem!" "But my best friend, great guy, an amazing guy," "I left him downstairs alone, and he deserves better." "Sure, I understand." "Is he with Monk?" "Security!" "Get that book!" "Get him!" "Get the book!" "Monk!" "Captain!" "Captain!" "Is the game over?" "Yeah." "Who won?" "We did." "Back at Summit Stadium, where the Condors have come from behind and defeated the Wildcats, 27-24, in one of the greatest playoff games ever." "Meanwhile, there was plenty of drama away from the field, and here to tell us about it is Captain Leland Stottlemeyer of the San Francisco police, along with former detective Adrian Monk." "Uh, Captain." "We just saw the defensive coach of the Wildcats led away from the stadium in handcuffs." "What can you tell us?" "Well, uh, Mr. Binsack has been arrested, and charged with receipt of stolen property." "Monk?" "And I can also tell you that Davey Gitelson's personal driver has also been arrested in Marin County." "Bob." "Well, I'd say, from the standpoint of law enforcement, you and Mr. Monk are the MVPs today." "You know, for those who don't know," "Adrian Monk is a legend in San Francisco, and on a personal note, a few years back, this man literally saved my life." "No, I wouldn't say that." "They're two..." "How can you say that?" "You were there!" "The cat tried to kill me!" "You weren't really in any danger." "It was a little calico cat." "It was about this big." "Wait a minute." "You proved it." "You solved the case." "The cat planned the whole thing out." "She was going to kill me with that squeeze toy." "Yeah." "Truth is, I just wanted to get out of the house." "Yeah, look, I think we're done here." "Bob, cut to a commercial." "I guess that does it from Summit Stadium." "Again, the final." "The Condors, 27, the Wildcats, 24." "I'm Bob Costas saying, so long." "And one last time." "The cat was definitely trying to kill me." "Randy's right." "This is better than being there."