"PRISON NR 1A" "DON'T PANIC" "Hey, guys, everything alright?" "You've gained weight, John." "You're not really fat, more like chubby." "Those 5 years of contemplation have done you good." "Must be very wholesome to become really grounded." "I've done 5 years for you, Rijk De Gooyer." "Where's my share?" "What?" "The 25 bucks I'd get for whistling." "I never heard that whistle." "We agreed I'd whistle to warn you if the man was coming." "25 guilders for that whistle?" "Yes!" "Give me the dough." "Five years is a long time, John." "A lot has changed in the Netherlands." "Money isn't worth a thing anymore." "For instance, this car's worth 80 bucks." "80 guilders?" "For you 25, John." "The car smells strange." "That's because it's new." "It's getting foggy." "I'm glad we're in a car." "You've got a good car, John." "That's not fog, the engine's boiling." "Is it under warranty?" "It's a no return policy." "Good!" "Say it again, Rijk." "You've got hands of gold, John." "Are you serious?" "And I've got the brains." "That's because you drink too much." "What shall I do for a living?" "You can't go back on TV with a criminal record." "Not even in a crime series?" "No, John." "You're a marked man." "People point the finger at you." "What about traffic warden?" "Can't I be that?" "No, John, you have to be able to tell the time." "Know what you need?" "A million." "No, a coach." "A mental coach." "Someone who rehabilitates you." "A wise and honest person." "Do you know such a person, Rijk?" "No, John." "Although... yes, me!" "Would you do that for me?" "Reha... thingie me?" "We've discussed it before." "An SOS service." "Coming to people's house to do repairs." "Yes, I have hands of gold." "And I could be the manager." "I'll stay with the phone." "But we'd need starting capital." "Auntie Toetje!" "Auntie Toetje!" "When's the last time I saw you, chubby hunk?" "5 years ago." "You had 1.5 girls." "How many do you have now?" "17 and all artists." "Civilised, yet tasteful." "All pedicures and manicures." "right?" "The average body has 20 nails, Mr De Gooyer." "This is for you, Gerda." "From the three German gentlemen and the shepherd dog." "Hello John Kraaykamp." "Kitty." "Do you remember me?" "If I ignore a few things, you look the same as when you were nine." "Little Kitty." "I was always afraid she'd end up in prostitution." "What about the money?" "Dear auntie Toetje..." "My colleague and me..." "We want to start a new life." "All new." "To help people." "People in need." "Just like you do, except with a monkey wrench." "Johnny has hands of gold and gold's a great investment." "I don't need to tell you that." "Your fly's undone." "Here's a little surprise." "Karel!" "After all those years!" "You can go." "But leave the shirt here." "Straight ahead." "Thanks, John, what can I give you?" "A hot chocolate." "You could also ask your aunt for an advance." "As long as you keep all the dockets." "Of course, aunt Toetje." "Can we also use your phone number?" "I'd make them sign for receipt." "We can trust each other, Roosje." "With who do I have the pleasure?" "With me." "This is Roosje, my protégée, my right-hand woman and my memory." "She's also the head of mud and salt baths." "I think this rose has been picked very often." "Are you coming?" "But not by me, John." "Really nice of aunt Toetje, don't you think?" "What the hell?" "My car, my new car!" "Don't laugh like an idiot." "I told you to pay attention to the handbrake." "Just my luck." "Know what we'll do?" "I'm paying." "Paying?" "A subway ride." "Subway?" "Yes, come." "Amazing what they can build in 5 years." "Come on!" "Anybody?" "Customers!" "Congratulations, gentlemen." "On what?" "On purchasing a brand new Daf." "We haven't decided anything yet." "My colleague will be driving about 120,000 kilometres a year." "So I want to sniff it first." "That's what they're here for, gentlemen." "I thought we had 16 Dafs here." "There's only one of them." "And it's red too." "Don't you have a yellow one?" "They take 6 weeks to order." "We need the car now." "How are the ashtrays?" "Clean!" "Can't you reduce the price?" "It's a gift." "For that chubby short gentleman." "One moment." "It has no gears." "That's easy!" "Do you want it, John." "Absolutely, Rijk." "Sold!" "Sold out!" "How far are we, Pen?" "Yesterday you bought two properties." "But how about Reguliersgracht?" "That's still largely standing." "You can demolish numbers 74 to 94." "Except number 84." "They don't want to leave." "84?" "Who's number 84?" "Widow Toetje Kluif." "She has a beauty salon there." "A beauty salon?" "Dear Pen, what's this?" "The Reguliersgracht subway station." "And what are we going to build there?" "A parking lot for 150,000 cars." "How will we arrange that?" "Don't panic, please, Mr Koster." "Don't panic!" "We'll arrange that as follows!" "I want to have that building tomorrow at noon." "Empty!" "Why did you come back, Henk?" "Because I love you, Roosje." "Only for that reason?" "No." "I heard Toetje Kluif's going to sell." "Yes, she's getting on and horizontal years count double." "She can't sell and if she does, it has to be to us." "But where do we get the money?" "I only have my body." "Rudolf has plenty of money." "There's 14% VAT on a vibro massage." "But not on sauna baths." "All those worries made my hair turn white." "But it is correct." "It's value added tax." "And in a sauna nothing's added." "The ceiling will come out in ten minutes." "This building's part of my childhood." "My great-grandmother used to sell water and fire here." "I can knock these walls out with my head." "You become a sort of mother to the girls." "And I do it for Amsterdam." "I don't think I could ever sign." "The entire property could go down in 3 hours and then we'll have lunch." "Then we'll drive some piles in the ground, some chipboard, a paintbrush..." "The day after tomorrow we'll open Amsterdam's newest parking lot." "Let the lady sign." "We'd lose a lot of architectural beauty." "I want red overalls with deep pockets." "Overalls?" "I need something modern for this chubby, short gentleman." "Won't I get red overalls?" "You're not a plumber or a simple repair man, you're an artist." "Yes, an artist!" "An artist!" "Modern, flashy, correct, yet stylish." "Artist!" "This jacket would make you look a lot better." "I have to be able to move freely for my work or I'll go mad." "Maybe you can move around a bit so I get an impression." "I grab... the woman comes to me." "And she says "I'm clogged" and I ask "Where"." ""Under my sink", she says." "So I dive under her sink." "I lie on my back under the S-bend." "Under that crooked thing." "Know what I mean?" "That's where you have to be." "I unclog it." "Hairs... mess." "So I get all that sludge in my face." "Now I have to close the S-bend again." "I turn it against the thread." "Against the thingie." "Then I tighten it through the clockwise." "Up to the 10:30 point." "Done." "No further." "Tight is tight!" "So I put my wrench in my pocket." "Feels cold for a moment." "All done!" "Payment." "It won't be easy." "Could you hold the gentleman?" "Can you hold me for a moment?" "Now what?" "Come on!" "I won't wear a soft boiled egg." "Beautiful, John, perfect!" "It's kind of funny." "It gives you character, John." "People will notice you." "Are you serious?" "Perfect!" "And for myself I need a night blue velvet suit." "Right." "No way!" "It's not happening!" "Punk!" "And you too!" "That's how I do business, Mrs Kluif." "Fast and reliable." "Is that a nice amount or not?" "Yes, it's tempting." "All those zeros look nice." "Does that mean we'll be fired?" "Will we be out on the street?" "On the Reguliersgracht, Miss." "Can I give you one piece of advice?" "Open all the doors and kick them all out." "Red can be such an obnoxious colour." "Yes." "We've been here for 10 minutes." "I think it's a loose contact." "I'll have a look." "Your hands are pure gold!" "If you could sign here." "You'll have a beautiful old age." "What are you doing?" "I don't know if this signature's valid." "Does it look like your real signature?" "I'm not wearing my glasses." "That's a done deal then." "Put it in your briefcase." "Can I go on the rocking horse?" "Rock away." "Did you sell the place?" "When are we closing?" "Are we closing?" "Why did you sign?" "Are we closing?" "I have to lay down for an hour." "Go to the dude and..." "What do you mean?" "What I said." "I don't understand, Henk." "Nick that contract." "R. De Gooyer, do you receive me?" "Do you receive me?" "Over." "Yes, John, I hear you loud and clear." "Over." "We need these things to stay in contact." "When you're working in the attic and me in the basement." "Kind regards." "Over." "Don't spit into that thing, John." "Over and out." "We'll be rich, Rijk!" "Rich, Rijk!" "Over." "Hush, people can hear us." "Over and out." "We'll show them what we can do." "Yes." "Over and out." "Rijk?" "Yes?" "Over!" "We're in a hurry, John." "Out, out, out!" "Shall I do my Frank Sinatra impersonation?" "What else do we need?" "Gas masks for when it stinks." "Alright, John." "A hazard light for when it gets dangerous." "Perfect, John." "A pickaxe for when we have to get through something." "Very good." "A flash light for further investigation." "We need that too." "Look what I found." "A mine detector." "Rudolf." "Hi, Henk." "She's selling." "Who's selling what?" "Toetje Kluif." "What is she selling?" "She's selling the beauty salon." "To Koster." "He'll turn it into a parking lot." "How do you know that?" "I was there." "Come on." "Take it from me." "If you hadn't been such an idiot, we'd have had the best brothel in Amsterdam." "Wait a moment." "Has it been put in writing?" "Is it all official?" "Don't panic." "Toetje was supposed to leave the building tomorrow at noon." "But Roosje will steal the contract tonight." "So what will Rudolf do tonight?" "Rudolf will have an early night." "Rudolf will go out for dinner with Toetje Kluif." "And then he and Toetje Kluif will have a roll in the sack." "No." "He'll make a lot of work of her." "No, not again." "Ok, no dinner then." "It's our last chance." "She's really fallen for you." "Right, like a sack of potatoes." "Can't I do that some other time?" "Tomorrow maybe?" "No, tomorrow at noon the contract goes into effect." "I'm so tired already." "From what?" "Hey, Rudie?" "DON'T PANIC" "But I had a shower last Tuesday, Madam." "I only wanted to get on the rocking horse, for old time's sake." "This treatment is introductory and entirely free, Mr Pen." "If you keep complaining, I'll pull out the beech twigs." "Yes, hello?" "I just saw your phone number and I have an emergency." "Why don't you pop over then." "Maison Kluif's open until 8 pm." "Where were we?" "My sock suspenders, Madam." "Auntie Toetje!" "Don't Panic!" "You gave me a fright." "Repair service Don't Panic!" "For all denominations, on one condition... 220 volts!" "Any phone calls for us?" "No, boys." "Yes, wait a moment!" "What, who?" "An old friend of mine." "Bill Silkstocking." "He can't leave his room." "Where?" "In that new hotel." "Okinawa, room 872." "Our first job!" "Good luck." "I'll go set up the bookkeeping." "No, we can do that later." "Come with me." "Hello, rising sun." "Don't Panic!" "No, we are from Don't Panic." "I think it's locked, Rijk." "It's double rate!" "Blanket, is that correct?" "Yes, John." "And think of his mother." "His mother's in there too." "I'm afraid I have to tell you I'm married, Madam." "But my wife understands me very well." "Put that suitcase away and relax." "What did he say?" "He only has 4 months to live." "Is that why he's in such a hurry?" "John, can you help?" "Yes, of course." "What's wrong?" "Hello, what's wrong?" "What needs to be done?" "Don't tell anyone, but I want to improve my life." "We all want that, but what's wrong with it?" "It doesn't vibrate anymore." "It should vibrate like that one." "Do you do that too with those men?" "Yes, we're being treated like animals, but we have a heart too." "Come out of that thing, pervert!" "Don't do that, John!" "He has paid and every minute that mine doesn't vibrate is taken off my pay." "You have to get out of here." "Yes, I want to." "But I have a contract." "I want to be a model." "And then movies." "And then I'll be a stewardess." "Stewardess..." "And then I'll be a nurse." "A nurse?" "Yes." "Your nurse, John." "What did I say, gold?" "Platinum!" "I have to talk to you." "I think I found something out." "Don't be shocked, Rijk." "I'll try, John." "Auntie Toetje's beauty salon..." "Yes, John." "It's not a beauty salon." "What are you implying?" "It's a brothel of easy virtue." "A what?" "I'm not certain, but I think it's a brothel of easy virtue." "A questionable house?" "Very questionable." "Don't panic." "What's the problem?" "We've come all the way from Den Bosch and we were going to grill chickens." "And now the grill doesn't work." "Where is that grill?" "Around the corner." "Don't panic!" "Ladies!" "Ladies!" "Ladies, listen to me!" "Is this our famous club spirit?" "Ladies, hold your tits still and no tingling of earrings." "Our staff needs to concentrate." "These gentlemen are a godsend." "They are experts!" "Kraaykamp and De Gooyer!" "Don't Panic!" "De Gooyer and Kraaykamp." "Ladies, how often are you at your wig's end?" "The manufacturer can't be trusted, the household device malfunctions." "And you don't know what to do." "Your husband's at work, your children are at school." "You're on your own." "But these days are over, ladies!" "Thanks to me." "My repair service Don't Panic is there for you!" "You, the lonely housewife with two left feet." "This is Mr Kraaykamp, one of my many assistants... who are there for you." "Day and night!" "Reliable, civilised tradesmen, equipped with hyper modern tools." "Thank you!" "Is it a lot of work?" "Could you hand me a skewer?" "You have a fantastic profession, Mr De Gooyer." "That's Mr..." "Never mind, Mrs Chairman." "Could you pass me the sauce?" "Don't get it on your clothes." "I won't." "I have this weird thing here." "It's a modern invention." "It's got two thingies." "They fit exactly in those holes." "They call that a socket." "It's great!" "Can you stick it in, hot woman?" "A big hand for these two gentlemen." "They've made our yearly meeting a big success after all." "Hello, Don't Panic!" "John!" "Kitty speaking." "No, you'll see." "Come as fast as you can." "Kitty's in trouble." "This is serious, John." "Jackets off!" "We have to tie a rope to ourselves, so we don't lose each other." "We don't have time." "So where's the central heating boiler?" "In the basement, behind the torture room." "I'll go have a look." "Where are these tall tanned legs going?" "I have the evening off." "Mail, that must be for me." "No, Rijk!" "Reguliersgracht 84, 250,000 guilders." "Entire property." "Tomorrow at noon." "Give it back!" "Have you ever seen my new little room?" "A nice room?" "John, I was afraid you were dead." "I came close." "Don't Panic." "Mice in the room?" "No, we're coming." "What did you say?" "Can I have the mice's address?" "Eastonstraat." "With EA." "204." "We'll be there in a bit." "Kitty, I keep thinking about your situation." "Yes... well... where's Rijk?" "He's gone upstairs." "He must be doing the bookkeeping." "Tell him I'll contact him by radiotelephone." "Oh, John..." "Concert pianist." "Yes, that was my dream." "I studied for 7 years." "Chopin." "Rachmaninov, Einstein..." "And then the piano lid fell on my fingers." "Isn't your life an escape from reality, Roosje?" "What's reality?" "Reality is yourself." "I have no self, Rijk." "I want to help you find yourself." "Do you know who you are?" "No." "But I have a suspicion." "It's not a jumper." "Some of them jump right in." "From the ground floor." "In what?" "In what?" "The mouse." "I've seen them jump through the skirting-board for a bit of Edam." "I just talked to you on the phone, didn't?" "You're from Don't Panic, right?" "Can I ask you a strange question?" "Do you know the ego of the mouse?" "No!" "Don't say yes." "No!" "Do I know the ego of the mouse?" "Of course I do!" "Stand on the bed, so you're off the ground." "But listen, sir." "I'm focusing on the mouse's psyche." "You the bed, me the psyche." "Now I need absolute silence." "I'll make this sound..." "I don't hear anything." "Of course you don't." "It's too high for the human ear, but mice love it." "So he shows up." "He gets a fright." "He sees his own kind." "What does he do?" "He runs!" "He runs away from his own kind." "Which mouse?" "Each mouse." "All healthy, Dutch mice get scared by their own kind." "When he sees his own kind, his ego splits." "It's very strange." "So he wants to run away from his own kind." "But he can't run, because his own kind follows." "Luctor, ergo et emergo." "He runs from one mirror to the next." "Run, run, run." "He sees himself, turns around and runs." "Then the mouse wonders:" "Who am I?" "Who am I?" "And then he reaches the plank with the cheese." "He's sure of one thing:" "he loves cheese." "The nose works..." "the mouse walks up..." "The plank goes like this and the mouse's caught." "That's sad." "Such is life, Madam." "Life!" "But there is no mouse." "That's the point... huh?" "No mouse?" "No." "Didn't you call me about mice?" "About ice." "I spilled ice on the TV." "There." "Ice, now I understand." "The TV started acting strange." "On a Peyton Place night too!" "You look a bit like Dr Rossi." "The image became all warped." "Did you try the buttons?" "Which buttons?" "The controls." "No." "I only ever used the on/off button." "That's all." "Wrong!" "A TV wants attention, love and understanding." "You shouldn't just look at it, but also look after it." "Would you like to be alone, in the corner of a room... with no one who cares about you?" "That wouldn't be fun, would it?" "Hello, darling." "Ah, Peyton Place." "Hello?" "For you, Johan." "Hello?" "Excuse me, business." "Contract!" "Which contract?" "Let's see what this will cost you." "What's this?" "Widow Kluif, sale of property..." "Give me that piece of paper." "Why?" "Grab him." "There's a bit of a problem with the ego of..." "Hello, Mr Koster?" "Pen speaking." "That man's leaving my house with the contract." "Go after him right away." "Do you understand?" "I had to steal it." "To start a day care centre with you for children of all ages..." "Let's read it through carefully first." "What's that?" "It's gone!" "What's gone?" "The contract!" "Gone!" "Don't be so anxious." "Just say yes to her and we'll have the best brothel in Amsterdam." "Yes, of course." "Give me another joint then." "When I'm stoned she looks a bit like my mother." "I'll have more guts." "But today I'm going to paint the town red." "Of course, I'm stupid!" "Johnny's got my jacket." "That crazy Kraaykamp." "Who's the pale face?" "That's Rijk." "Yes, you may have heard of me." "De Gooyer." "Director of Don't Panic Ltd." "Where's that letter?" "Mr Kraaykamp, one of my repair men, has the sales letter." "Mr Kraaykamp." "You see, Roosje and I are starting a day care centre here." "Together." "I see." "Hello, Rijk." "Hello?" "No, Mr Kraaykamp." "Rijk isn't here." "But I have to ask you to come to Third Helderstraat right away." "3rd floor, number 64." "My pleasure, Mr Kraaykamp." "You're welcome, bye." "I should have known." "Einstein never wrote piano concertos." "Very important." "I can't believe you came back to me tonight, Rudolf." "I had to, Toetje." "Who said you had to?" "My heart." "Shut up, darling, I hear something." "I always thought you were a healthy man, Mr De Gooyer." "People's sex lives are becoming crazier and crazier." "Compared to this, Sodom and Gomorra was an entertainment park." "To know that this property could become a great evangelization centre." "I thought you wanted to turn it into a croquette joint." "Yes, but I've changed." "It's a long story, Toetje." "Why don't I tell you about it during a Turkish dinner." "Pilaf, I love it." "Mr De Gooyer!" "You have to help me." "I want to get out before I fade away." "This is my last chance." "I can feel it." "I know exactly what's going on." "That's why I beg you to let Mrs Kluif sell the bloody beauty salon." "By the way, is Johnny married?" "And does he still have his own teeth?" "Hello, Mr Koster, Pen speaking." "Can you come right away?" "I'm at 64 Third Helderstraat." "Hush." "What hush?" "Oh, is it you?" "Business is great." "John, where's the contract?" "Contract?" "I don't have time to explain." "I'll take this to auntie Toetje." "Kitty says she loves you, lucky bastard." "She loves me?" "Hey!" "She loves me?" "She loves me!" "Rudolf, how are you going?" "Fine." "The short chubby guy's here." "I'm at the Turk with Toetje." "Is everything alright there?" "Yes, he's got to have the contract." "Are you coping, Henk?" "Roosje and I will deal with him." "Thanks." "Ok, bye." "Who was that, darling?" "That was the reverend." "What did he want?" "He's just gotten back from the Urals." "He's been converting." "He asks how the evangelization centre was coming along." "We've discussed it in the past." "He'd do the converting... and I'd do the business management." "But how do we find the right place?" "Terrible that I just sold my beauty salon." "I always thought it was a great book." "The bible." "And we could get married." "You could make coffee for the believers." "Has the sale been finalised?" "Don't Panic, got it!" "You can go!" "You're kidding me!" "Ladies and gentlemen, apologies for this incident." "Thanks to Mr..." "Kraaykamp, Don't Panic." "we've discovered this terrible fraud by our croupier." "If you follow me, I'll pay you." "You can do it here." "In chips, please." "Twenty guilders." "Twenty guilders." "On 27." "Is that our man?" "And now everything on 45." "It only goes to 36, munchkin." "I know you from somewhere, but I won't tell." "Everything on 33 then." "Hello, Don't Panic, Kraaykamp." "John, come to Istanbul." "Over." "Yes." "Istanbul?" "Shouldn't we only accept jobs in the Netherlands first?" "No, John, Turkish restaurant Istanbul." "I'll be there right away." "Ok, Rijk, how do you do!" "May I..." "Croupier, could you pick them up?" "Can you give me a hand?" "Ladies and gentlemen..." "Don't panic, Mr Koster, the contract's watertight." "If we get it back, idiot." "If I see you on a rocking horse one more time..." "It's all your fault." "You let Mr De Gooyer get the better of you." "Waiter, where's our kebab Istanbul?" "The contract!" "Come, Kitty." "Of course." "Hey guys!" "What a day, what a day!" "Waiter, garçon, please." "Can I have a double steak and a can of peas?" "Medium size." "Not too big, not too small." "In between." "More than 60 guilders turnover in one day!" "What about that?" "Is that good or what?" "Fantastic." "You are in possession of a document that belongs to my employer" "Shut up, horny pencil pusher." "This has been going on for too long." "Give me that paper." "Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs Kluif and I have just decided... not to sell the beauty salon." "We're opening an evangelization centre... for the affluent." "The Holy Trinity:" "Rudolf, Henk and Roosje." "Then it's simple." "I'll return the contract to Mr Koster." "Stop him!" "What do you have to do with Henk?" "Clearly, ladies and gentlemen, opinions are very divided." "Legally, you don't have a leg to stand on, Mrs Kluif." "If we divulge the true nature of this company, you'll be closed down." "Nobody else will pay you 250,000 guilders." "300,000 guilders." "I don't know what to do." "I don't know anymore." "Kebab Istanbul." "Get lost with that crap!" "Rijk?" "Yes, John." "Was I right?" "Is it a brothel?" "Yes, John." "Your auntie Toetje owns the biggest, most secret brothel of Amsterdam." "Kitty, auntie Toetje, Rijk?" "Give that paper back to that man." "Let it be sold." "You don't deserve any better." "What about us, John?" "We have our office there." "And after one day, all of Amsterdam knows the phone number." "That's true." "What should we do?" "We'll start by leaving this place." "Come, Mrs Kluif." "You too, Kitty." "I'll be back tomorrow at noon." "With four photographers." "Tomorrow at noon, I'll be at your doorstep, Mrs Kluif." "With the alderman for public health, the Salvation Army... and the treasurer of Moral Rearmament." "And a film crew from the Evangelical Channel!" "What do I tell the reverend, Toetje?" "I don't know anymore." "I just want to die." "Have a good night's sleep." "John and I will think of something." "Excuse me." "I couldn't sleep." "Me neither, John." "What are we doing, Rijk?" "Wondering aimlessly through the city." "I mean with the contract." "John, I never want to hear the word contract again." "It's driving me nuts." "Give it to me." "I don't have it." "I don't have it." "Keep Amsterdam clean." "You're right, John." "Pick it up." "But now we're stuck with it again." "Here." "I can't accept this, it's too much." "But the music's beautiful!" "I still can't accept it." "I have my pride too." "Look, John." "The nasi ball trick." "One, two, door open, nasi ball out, contract in and gone." "Does it taste good?" "Excellent." "Excellent." "Seriously?" "Not too greasy?" "Not at all." "Not too oily?" "What the hell?" "Contract out." "Nasi ball in." "Put it in anybody's mailbox and we'll have gotten rid of it." "You'll be on the lookout." "And do another 5 years in jail?" "Just to make sure, John." "In case the police arrive." "Alright." "Let me tell you..." "Rijk!" "Indian nightingale." "Black canary." "In love, engaged, married." "That was the roughskin tree pipit." "That's nothing." "It's a man who blows his nose." "You have good lips for it." "Flip over your tongue and put your fingers on top." "Practice well." "Did you lose it, Rijk?" "Not yet, John." "Not interested!" "Wait a moment." "Let them prove there ever was a contract." "What if they kick us out anyway?" "We still have half a night, John, come." "Good evening, gentlemen." "Is this your number?" "I found this on my car's antenna." "Very kind of you." "If only there were more people like you." "Get lost!" "Don't you mind?" "I don't care, John." "I always find myself very forward." "No you're not, John." "No." "Really?" "So you're not angry?" "What will happen to us now?" "I have no idea." "That's ok, John." "We'll wait and see." "Leave it up to Rijk." "Rijk hasn't lost his marbles." "Haven't you noticed?" "I've never seen him naked." "I've got it." "I've got it!" "I've got it!" "Let's see what I need." "Good morning, Mr Toetje?" "Yes, thanks." "You're welcome." "From Rudolf for Toetje." "Have you lost your mind?" "Shut up, everybody, this is very important!" "It's 6.15 am." "How much time until noon?" "Minus three quarters that's..." "There are boiled eggs in the fridge." "5 hours and 45 minutes." "I still have to do my hair!" "The red one..." "frequency 1... no positive..." "Hello, can..." "Don't Panic!" "Do you understand?" "Fantastic!" "This isn't good." "I have to..." "What are you doing, John?" "I'm interfering with the quadratic system." "Does the phone company know about it?" "I'll call them when I reach them." "One moment." "Good morning, Inspector." "Sorry for calling so early." "But this is a very important matter." "Could you send a few men to 84 Reguliersgracht, this afternoon?" "Thank you." "I don't care." "But we would have to be able to move around in it freely." "Could you move a bit, so I can get an impression?" "Morning!" "I had such a strange dream." "Yes?" "I dreamt that someone bought ten Dafs from me in one hit." "Did that man look a bit like me?" "Now that you mention it." "Can I take all ten home?" "I knew your father." "He was a painter too." "A bit like that." "Dear Mrs Kluif, we'll call our first-born Toetje." "Henk and Roosje." "I think that dude's got hands of gold too." "And there's the danger of venereal diseases." "We could build a clean, hygienic parking lot at this location." "The sooner we solve this, the better." "Especially for our children." "I'll ring the doorbell and when the girls come out naked, take a picture!" "The contract, John." "Don't Panic Ltd. is honoured by your interest in our company." "What's all this?" "Madam, Major, gentlemen." "Don't Panic Ltd. is honoured by your interest in our company." "Very thoughtful and charming." "Let me introduce our mobile repair service." "You, me, all of us..." "And my colleague, Mr Kraaykamp." "Absolutely." "We've decided that the cold male dominated world of technology... needs a bit of feminine charm." "All our technicians are familiar with the most common household problems." "Did I say that correctly, Rijk?" "Perfectly, John." "Now let me introduce the heart of Don't Panic Ltd." "Ladies Kluif and Klaver." "Together they will be holding their finger on Amsterdam's pulse." "Allow me to give you our phone number." "Sooner or later everybody will need Don't Panic." "Right, Rijk." "Excellent, John." "Weren't you going to see your mother this afternoon?" "Why, Leo?" "Never mind." "Hello, Don't Panic?" "I have a problem." "Can you send someone?" "Preferably a blonde technician." "I don't know what's broken." "I don't see anything special." "No?" "But I do." "When I build something new, I have to pay 14% VAT." "When I demolish something, I pay 0%." "That's where I get my grey hair from." "They'll be there soon, bye." "Car 9 reports a problem, John." "That's Treesje, she will never learn." "I knew it." "We charge double for work done in the dark." "That's 17 guilders." "If I give you 25, will you also check my fly?" "Don't Panic." "There's no one present at the moment." "Sauna?" "The management themselves will come." "Come with me, Rijk." "You bet." "Sorry!" "Here's your hat!" "I know that man." "Where do we go?" "That way!" "Hello, anybody here?" "Look, Rijk!" "We have to decide who has to do the mouth-to-mouth." "Give me a number under 10." "4." "Wrong, go ahead." "I lost, fair and square." "Rijk!" "Auntie Ali!" "What happened to you?" "Didn't you have a hair salon?" "It got out of hand, Rijk." "Another brothel of easy virtue." "Fire!" "Another porn movie projector overheated!" "Does the subway run underneath this place?" "No, it's those new vibrators for spoilt customers." "This whole business drives me nuts." "Don't cry, auntie Ali." "It's bad for your mascara." "When sex was still sex in a little red room, it was a beautiful job." "But ever since electricity..." "If paid love means that people are getting wounded, the fun's over." "How many girls do you have, auntie Ali?" "21, including me." "John?" "Yes, Rijk?" "Soon we'll cover the entire country!" "Where are the central heating boilers?" "Downstairs, in the basement." "Why?" "What did I say, John?" "It's a dream." "Ten million customers in half a year." "Yes!" "Auntie Toetje and auntie Ali are crying in their beds." "From happiness." "That's great." "Henk and Roosje split up and Rudolf as well." "Mister Silkstocking has 4 more months." "And I have another 5 to go, John." "What?" "I'm in happy expectancy." "I'm in happy expectancy, Rijk!" "You don't only have hands of gold!" "Where are you going, girl?" "The Delta Works, Mr Kraaykamp." "The Delta Works, good." "Hey, hello!" "The dykes aren't working properly." "Fine, we'll get rid of the dykes!" "The queen's late, Rijk." "Lots of traffic lights, John." "DON'T PANIC OPENS NEW HEADQUARTERS" "The queen's coming." "Is my tie alright?" "Perfect." "Crazy fool!" "Don't Panic!" "Don't Panic." "Even if your place is a mess..." "Don't Panic, Don't Panic." "We'll help you straight away." "You can call us at any hour of the day." "Our slogan is:" "We'll help you right away" "And if we can't help, our slogan becomes" "Don't Panic, money back!"