"So here's what you missed on Glee..." "Mr. Shue's in Washington, so now Finn's in charge of the glee club, and they have to win Sectionals, which is just a week away." "Blaine cheated on Kurt, and he's super broken up about it, and Kurt's the whole reason Blaine came to McKinley, and now he's gone and Blaine's all alone." "Jake saw Ryder and Marley kiss, and even though she's super skinny and super beautiful," "Kitty's got Marley convinced that she's gaining weight." "The stage always adds at least ten pounds." "And that's what you missed on Glee." "The Secret Society of Superheroes Club is now in session." "It is the purpose of this club to fight injustice, to right all that which is wrong, and to preserve truth, justice and peace in the halls of McKinley High." "First order of business..." "roll call." "Go." "Asian Persuasion here." "My superpower is being the mistress of manipulation." "(à la George W. Bush):" "Blond Chameleon here." "My superpower is I can impersonate anybody." "George W. Bush, heh." "Tarantula Head here." "My superpower is lashing you with my dreads." "(whip cracks)" "Sweet 'n' Spicy, here." "My superpower is money." "Second order of business... inducting new members into our ever-swelling ranks." "Candidates, come forth." "Excited to be here, Blaine." "First of all, there are no civilian identities in here, okay?" "I am Nightbird the Nocturnal Avenger." "And second of all, I really hope you're not trying to pass yourself off as a certain telepathic leader of a certain group of superhuman mutants because that would be a copyright violation." "Uh, I'm Dr. Y and my superpower is wheelies?" "Welcome, Dr. Y. Next." "I'm Queen Bee and I can sting like a bitch." "(buzzes)" "Welcome, Queen Bee." "Next." "I'm the Human Brain." "Welcome, Human Brain." "(phone chimes)" "What's this?" "A text just came through on my NightPhone." ""Have you talked to Kurt?"" "I already told you," "Asian Persuasion, this account is only supposed to be for emergencies, and you cannot use your powers of manipulation to coax me into getting back with my ex, so stop trying." "What is it, Chai Tea?" "Emergency in the choir room." "To the choir room." "Someone took your Nationals trophy and left that laptop in its place." "ARTIE:" "Who leaves a laptop?" "Someone rich, someone who wanted to send us a message." "I got this." "(distorted):" "Greetings, New Directions!" "You have been living as national champions on borrowed time, and that ends now." "We have your trophy." "Soon we'll have your title as well." "The great reckoning is at hand..." "Sectionals." "Your move." "(school bell ringing)" "So, are you jumping on this superhero bandwagon?" "A club where you have to wear full-body spandex?" "Not really my thing." "Good, that means you'll be free to hang out Friday night..." "you and me." "What do you say?" "Um..." "I..." "RYDER:" "Marley's got plans on Friday, dude." "The football team's got an away game at Lawrence, and I asked her if she'd come cheer us on." "See, Jake, it's funny." "Girls don't like it when you make it seem like you're really into them and then totally blow them off." "You know what, dude?" "I don't remember asking for your opinion." "Guys, don't do this." "Whoa." "Whoa, you're really intimidating." "Let me ask you a question... what kind of a name is Ryder Lynn anyway?" "'Cause it sounds like your parents named you after a cowgirl doll who comes with her own pony." "Look, man, I don't want any trouble." "I know you're a badass." "You want to know how I know you're such a badass?" "Because you ride a Razor Scooter." "Nothing says "I'm a badass" like a Razor Scooter." "Guys, please, don't do this." "It... this is..." "this is stupid." "Stop." "Hey, hey, cut it out." "Stop." "Come on, stop, stop it." "Stop." "Cut it out." "Come on." "I persuade you to stop fighting immediately." "Freeze, bitches." "FINN:" "Thanks, Becky, both you guys." "Glee Club, 20 minutes." "(school bell ringing)" "(indistinct chatter)" "(laughter)" "Okay, guys, sit down." "We got a lot of work to do today." "(indistinct chatter)" "No, seriously, come on, I mean it, sit down." "Okay, so the first order of business today is to welcome the newest members to the glee club..." "Ryder and Kitty." "(cheering and applause)" "Wait, don't we all get to vote on her or something?" "Well, Tina, Kitty was fantastic in Grease." "In spite of my god-awful part." "Besides, we're under the gun." "We... we have to go to Sectionals next week and we need 12 members to compete." "Oh, well, then, just call Santana back from Kentucky again 'cause apparently she's better than anyone who's actually enrolled here." "Look, Tina, not now." "Uh, look, where was I?" "Sectionals, yes." "Here's the game plan." "Broke the marker." "Where does Mr. Shue keep the other markers?" "Uh..." "Screw it." "Uh..." "The theme is "Foreigner."" "We're gonna sing songs by Foreigner in foreign languages, wearing all the costumes of the world's nations." "Wait, seriously, that's your idea?" "Yeah." "Kiki, what do you think?" "FEMALE VOICE:" "I think I'm alive and you're the machine." "BLAINE:" "Finn, times have changed." "We're national champions now, which means we have to exceed all expectations, so if that's your best idea, I..." "I don't think we stand a chance." "Wait, where are you going?" "I'm going to get our trophy back from the Warblers... the one you haven't even noticed is missing." "Crap, uh..." "So, who exactly are you supposed to be?" "I'm the Beiste Master." "Blaine said" "I couldn't be faculty advisor unless I dressed up once a week, so I'm from the planet Testostergen," "I can digest any known substance and cry at the drop of a hat, and, hey, I'm not kidding about that last part." "Last night I teared up at an Activia commercial." "(chuckles)" "This is just all so ridiculous." "Oh, come on, pumpkin, this is fun." "Yeah, it's no wonder superheroes are all the rage." "Putting on a mask is like getting up onstage." "It gives you the freedom to be the person you secretly aspire to be, and if you ask me, the world could use a few more heroes." "(school bell ringing) So, what's bugging you, kiddo?" "You seem blue." "It was my first lesson in Glee Club today, and it was a total disaster." "What happened?" "I don't know." "I mean, the lesson that I planned was awesome." "I..." "I think it's just that the... the glee club doesn't see me as an adult." "(groans)" "God, is that what coffee tastes like?" "How do people drink that?" "I'm just spitballing here, but maybe you should invest in a pair of tights." "You know, Clark Kent was an awesome guy, but it was Superman who inspired everyone." "Be their hero, Finn." "I'm just saying." "(bell clanging)" "Sebastian." "Of course it was you." "No, it wasn't, I swear." "I turned over a new leaf, remember?" "No more bullying, blackmail or assault this year." "That must be boring for you." "Yeah, it is;" "Being nice sucks." "He's waiting for you in the library." "Who is?" "The guy you're here to see." "Captain of the Warblers." "I thought you were captain of the Warblers." "I knew they'd send you." "Allow me to answer the obvious questions." "I'm Hunter Clarington, I am the new captain of the Warblers, and I'm not even remotely bi-curious." "How are you captain of the Warblers when...?" "When you've never seen me before?" "Simple." "Dalton just gave me a full scholarship to move here from Colorado Springs, where I led my military academy choir to a Regionals victory with presidential honors." "Now I'm here to kick it up a notch, and that starts with you." "That's very intimidating." "Where's the trophy, Hunter?" "(chuckles)" "Don't worry, it's safe." "It was just bait after all." "See, you're kind of a legend here." "I like that." "So here's my offer:" "Your little diversity club can have its Nationals trophy back when you rejoin the Warblers." "And why would I ever leave McKinley?" "Why would you stay?" "I heard you only went there to be with Kurt, right?" "In fact," "I hear they even call you Blaine Warbler." "They know you don't belong there, so why don't you?" "SEBASTIAN:" "We all know the real Blaine, Blaine... ambitious, driven." "You're a Dalton boy." "Present the blazer." "That's not going to work on me." "Then why be afraid to try it on?" "Here's the thing, Blaine." "You know that Nationals trophy was a fluke, just like you know we're going to win at Sectionals." "Now, I don't want to see a Dalton legend like you sidelined in his senior year." "I want you on the winning side, here with us." "You know what goes great with a new Dalton blazer?" "An impromptu song." "What?" "No, no." "Oh, come on, one song for your old buddies." "Guys, I didn't come here to sing a song." "(vocalizing and whistling Kelly Clarkson's "Dark Side")" "♪ Oh, oh-oh" "♪ Will you love, will you love, will you love?" "♪" "♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh ♪ Will you love?" "♪" "♪ Will you love, will you love?" "♪" "♪ There's a place" "♪ That I know" "♪ It's not pretty there" "♪ And few have ever gone" "♪ And if I show it to you now" "♪ Will it make you run away" "♪ Or will you stay?" "♪ Even if it hurts" "♪ Even if I try to push you out ♪" "♪ Will you return" "♪ And remind me who I really am?" "♪" "♪ Please remind me who I really am ♪" "♪ Everybody's got a dark side" "♪ Do you love me?" "♪ Can you love mine?" "♪ Nobody's a picture perfect" "♪ But we're worth it, you know that we're worth it ♪" "♪ Will you love me?" "♪ Will you love, will you love, will you love?" "♪" "♪ Even with my dark side?" "♪ Will you love, will you love?" "♪" "♪ Will you love?" "♪" "♪ Don't run away, don't run away ♪" "♪ Don't run away ♪" "♪ Just promise me you will stay ♪ ♪ Promise me you will stay ♪" "♪ Promise me you will stay ♪" "♪ Promise me you will stay ♪" "♪ Will you love me" "♪ With my dark side?" "♪ Oh, whoa" "♪ Everybody's got a dark side" "♪ Do you love me?" "♪ Can you love mine?" "♪ Nobody's a picture perfect" "♪ But we're worth it, you know that we're worth it ♪" "♪ Will you love me?" "♪ Will you love, will you love, will you love?" "♪" "♪ Even with my dark side?" "♪ Will you love, will you love, will you love?" "♪" "♪ Don't run away" "SEBASTIAN:" "What'd I tell you?" "Flawless." "Keep it." "It's already yours." "Don't you think it's time you came back where you belong..." "Blaine Warbler?" "(school bell rings)" "Okay." "Oh, dear God." "So, I-I get it..." "my first idea was pretty bad." "Worse than funk." "Worse than "Night of Neglect."" "So..." "I decided to try something new... "Dynamic..."" "Duets."" "This is gonna be a lot more fun, and it focuses on something you guys actually like:" "Superheroes." "MARLEY:" "Oh, so wait... are we all gonna have to wear costumes?" "ARTIE:" "And who exactly are you supposed to be?" "The Bulge, who makes gym socks disappear?" "BRITTANY:" "Please don't melt us with your bulge." "Well, I am..." "the almighty Treble Clef," "Uniter of Glee Clubs." "KITTY:" "Jesus is the only real almighty superhero." "Amen." "Nobody asked you." "Come on, guys, let's hear him out." "Thanks." "(Finn sighs)" "Look at the Avengers." "Individually, they all have amazing powers, but... as a team, they cannot be stopped." "Right now, we're a bunch of individuals with great powers and talents, but... we're not a team." "Some of you even have mortal enemies in this very room, allowing the Dark Side to turn us against each other, when we should be focused on the Warblers." "Nightbird is handling the missing trophy." "Great." "Thank you, Nightbird." "Jake will pair up with Ryder," "Marley will join Kitty to perform the duets." "The rest of you, start preparing to fight an epic battle against the forces of evil at Sectionals." "(cheering, whooping)" "That idea was slightly better." "Still could be horrible." "(fanfare plays)" "(school bell rings)" "Here's the only thing you need to study." "Isn't part of the assignment that we have to pick a song together?" "The assignment is "Dynamic Duets."" "I took the liberty of choosing a song to show off my vocal bombasity while at the same time highlighting your mousy softness." "Well, can we at least talk about which superheroes we're gonna be?" "You can talk all you want, but I already decided." "I'm Femme Fatale... 'cause in French, that means: "Kill Women."" "No, it doesn't." "Which is what" "I'm going to do when we perform." "Okay." "Let's be honest, I don't like you, you don't like me, and dressing up in a cape and tights..." "not gonna change that." "Fine." "Don't do it, and get booted out of Glee Club." "Mega Stud won't complain." "Hold-hold on." "Did you seriously just call yourself "Mega Stud"?" "It's my alter ego." "So your superhero choice is to be me?" "There can be only one." "♪" "♪ I am ♪ I am" "♪ I am Superman" "♪ And I know what's happening" "♪ I am ♪ I am" "♪ I am Superman" "♪ And I can" "♪ Do anything" "♪ You don't" "♪ Really love that guy" "♪ You make it with, now, do you?" "♪" "♪ I know you don't love" "♪ That guy, 'cause I can see right through you ♪" "I am ♪ ♪ I am" "♪ I am Superman" "♪ And I know" "♪ What's happening" "♪ I am ♪ I am" "♪ I am Superman" "♪ And I can do anything" "Isn't MS a degenerative nerve disease?" "I thought it was a girl's magazine." "♪ If you" "♪ Go a million miles away" "♪ I'll track you down, girl" "♪ Trust me when I say" "♪ I know the pathway" "♪ To your heart..." "FINN:" "Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing!" "Hey!" "Stop it!" "(screaming, shouting)" "Finn, do something!" "FINN:" "Uh..." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey, hey, what's wrong with you guys?" "SAM:" "Full nelson, full nelson." "You're not too tough now, are you?" "My goal was to bring you two together, not to have you dress up and... karate-chop each other in the face!" "It was a lame exercise." "No, you know what's lame?" "Not winning at Sectionals." "And if we don't get our act together, we're gonna lose, and then that's gonna be it." "I need you two to get along." "I heard you, Finn, but I don't like this guy." "He's working his way through every girl at this school, and I think Marley deserves better." "You have no idea what Marley wants, or deserves." "FINN:" "Enough!" "Okay?" "Enough." "Clearly, you did not take anything from my last assignment, so I'm gonna give you a new one." "Will it also be lame?" "Ignoring you." "It's a "Kryptonite Lesson."" "You two think you hate each other." "I think you don't understand each other." "So I want you to sit in a room and tell each other your deepest fears." "Only by admitting your weaknesses can you realize your strengths." "You sound like Yoda, dude." "Deal do we have?" "(fanfare plays)" "(school bell rings)" "Hey." "You got a minute?" "Yeah." "Dude, I was just gonna text you." "How is Operation:" "Rescue/Recovery going?" "Well, when" "I went back to Dalton, all those blazers and singing with the Warblers again..." "Wait, wait, what, you sang with the Warblers?" "It just sort of happened." "But they embraced me like I was a long-lost brother." "It was like in X-Men 2, when Pyro left the X-Men to join Magneto's Brotherhood." "It-it just felt right, like maybe I belong with the Warblers." "Dude, no, no, you belong here, with us, okay?" "Does this have to do with Kurt?" "Everything in this room reminds me of him." "We were..." "a dynamic duo in here." "Kurt was my anchor, Finn, and now that he's gone, I just..." "I feel like I'm floating." "And you, you need a team that's gonna gel." "Yes." "Absolutely." "We need a team with a lot of gel." "And... you're, like, the biggest part of that." "I'm sorry, Finn, but the Warblers are my birthright... and my destiny." "(school bell rings)" "I can't do a duet with you." "Because my singing voice is crystal-clear and you sort of sound like you've got a snot bubble stuck in the back of your throat?" "What?" "No." "I don't think that... that's just what everyone's saying." "Look... the reason I can't do the duet is because of the costume." "I can't wear a head-to-toe body suit made out of clingy fabric." "I'm too self-conscious." "I'm gonna ask you a question, and I want you to answer me honestly." "Are you still driving the bus to Puketown?" "What?" "You know." "Are you still giving yourself self-inflicted barf-wounds to the uvula?" "I've done it every day this week." "You know, you and I are a lot alike." "I think that's why I was so mean to you when we first met." "I've had body-image issues, too, but my good friends, the finger sisters, Pointy and Birdie, helped me keep the trim figure I retain to this day." "Sweetie... you have to trust me on this... we'll try on our costumes, and I swear, if you look fat even a little bit, I'll be honest, and we'll cancel the performance, okay?" "Okay." "Promise?" "Promise." "(fanfare plays)" "When Gotham is ashes, then you have my permission to die." "Good to know, Bane." "Is that a jockstrap?" "Let the games begin!" "What's this?" "What Finn wanted us to talk about." "My Kryptonite." "Don't just hand me some lame note... be a man, tell me face-to-face." "My whole life, I've never felt like I fit in." "Not anywhere." "Why?" "I'm half white, half black, half Jewish." "And just in case" "I forget... someone always reminds me." "Brah, I got a really good black joke, and since you're half black, you can half listen." "(laughing)" "Hey!" "Baruch Obamastein!" "What are you exactly?" "You a Oreo, or a lightly toasted cracker?" "Shalom!" "So, what's your Kryptonite?" "You know what, forget it." "This whole thing was stupid." "JAKE:" "Dude, you just told me to be a man, so are you gonna be a man, or are you just gonna walk away?" "I made you tell me what your note said, 'cause I couldn't read it." "(school bell rings)" "Meow." "Well, I don't know about you, but this kitty cat's feeling so much yummier now that she's slipped into her tightest outfit as Femme Fatale." "I'm waiting." "MARLEY:" "I can't." "I look ridiculous." "I'm sure that's not true." "Come on, I won't judge." "Uncross your arms." "I don't get it." "What's WF?" "It's supposed to be Wallflower." "Wallflower?" "Your alter ego's supposed to reflect how you feel about yourself, right?" "When I looked in the mirror, this is what I saw." "Well, get over here, so Femme Fatale can tell you what she sees." "Stand up straight." "Shoulders back." "You look H-O-T-T, hot." "I do?" "Now, your clothes..." "your mom made this, right, like she does most of your stuff?" "Uh-huh." "Well, bless her clogged, overworked heart, but from now on, I'm buying your clothes, and they're gonna show off your bitchin' bod." "But first things first." "Marley Rose, you are Wallflower no more." "You are Woman Fierce, and we are going to kill this song." "(laughs)" "(Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero" begins)" "♪ Where have all the good men gone?" "♪" "♪ And where are all the gods?" "♪ Where's the streetwise Hercules ♪" "♪ To fight the rising odds?" "♪ Isn't there a white knight" "♪ Upon a fiery steed?" "♪ Late at night I toss and I turn ♪" "♪ And I dream of what I need" "♪ I need a hero" "♪ I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night ♪" "♪ He's got to be strong and he's got to be fast ♪" "♪ And he's got to be fresh from the fight ♪" "♪ I need a hero" "♪ I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light ♪" "♪ He's got to be sure and it's got to be soon ♪" "♪ And he's got to be larger than life ♪" "♪ I need a hero" "♪ I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night ♪" "♪ Up where the mountains meet the heavens above ♪" "♪ Up where the lightning splits the sea ♪" "♪ I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood ♪" "♪ Like a fire in my blood ♪" "♪ Like a fire in my blood, like a fire in my blood ♪" "♪ Like a fire in my blood ♪" "♪ Oh, I need a hero" "♪ I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night ♪" "♪ He's got to be strong and he's got to be fast ♪" "♪ And he's got to be fresh from the fight ♪" "♪ I need a hero." "(cheering)" "FINN:" "That was incredible." "You worked so well together." "Teamwork!" "Yeah!" "You guys, I don't smell raspberry hair gel." "Does anybody know where Blaine Warbler is?" "Uh, well, as some of you guys might know, uh, recently, Blaine has been going through a bit of a rough time..." "Oh, boo-hoo." "Get over it." "It's like a bad Lifetime movie." "...and he's decided to finish the rest of his senior year at Dalton Academy." "He's been taken by the Dark Side." "(school bell ringing)" "Finn?" "There's something I need to tell you about Ryder." "(school bell ringing)" "What's going on here?" "I'm Mrs. Penkala." "I'm the district special education director." "And Finn brought you here so I can help you, Ryder." "I don't need any help." "I've made it this far on my own." "Jake should've kept his mouth shut." "Dude, just-just relax, okay?" "Don't you want to figure out why you keep studying but you don't do any better?" "Just have a seat." "Well, I read your file." "And you'd be surprised how often bright kids like you who are struggling don't have any testing done." "Even with conscientious parents." "Don't be nervous." "The great thing about this test is there are no right or wrong answers." "I want you to say the numbers in numerical order and the letters in alphabetical order." "Nine, one, T." "Seven, two, F, K." "Father." "Minute." "Pretty." "(timer ticking)" "School." "Then." "Flowers." "I don't know what that says." "Try sounding it out." "I can't." "Fly." "I-I can't read that." "Uh, brown." "Is that even a word?" "(timer continues ticking)" "(bell dings)" "Time's up." "I don't know why this stuff is so hard for me." "Am I stupid?" "No." "You're actually very smart." "(school bell ringing)" "It's not a brain tumor, is it?" "No." "Uh, I'm dyslexic." "You know, do you know what it's like to have a real secret identity?" "Not like Clark Kent or Peter Parker, but to know inside you're not who everyone thinks you are." "My whole life, it's been, "Ryder just needs to apply himself."" ""Ryder's smart; he just needs to work harder, focus, get it together, man up."" "But inside, man, I knew they were all wrong." "It didn't matter how hard I focused or how hard I worked;" "I was stupid." "And if anyone ever found that out, if they knew the real me..." "I was..." "I was sure it would've killed my parents." "Man, and my dad's a freaking PhD." "How is he gonna feel about having an idiot for a son?" "I'm sure your dad loves you no matter what." "Dude, you learn to read when you're six." "When you're six;" "That's first grade." "Then they separate you into these levels." "They don't tell you that's what they're doing, but everyone knows who's in the smart group and who's in the dumb one." "You think a six-year-old knows his dad's gonna love him no matter what?" "I've been carrying..." "I've been carrying this secret around my whole life, man, all this time." "Now you can put it down." "Okay?" "'Cause the only secret is that your brain works a little differently than everyone else's, that's it." "Okay?" "They're gonna start an individualized education program for me." "I'll start working with a special teacher every day next week." "Yeah, thank you." "Thank you for helping me, Finn." "I owe you." "Actually, you owe Jake." "(school bell ringing)" "Hey, Mrs. Rose." "Hey." "There is something different about you." "Is that a new hairnet?" "(laughing):" "No, it's the same one." "You know, tell you the truth, I did lose a little weight." "Six pounds this month." "Well, I knew it was something." "You look great." "Thanks, Jake." "Oh." "Marley would kill me for telling you this, but she talks about you all the time." "You know, I had my chance... and I blew it." "Well, it's never too late to change." "Look at me." "BOBBY:" "Hey, Dump Truck, get back to work." "What did you say to her?" "I believe he called her a broken-down, ten-ton crap-filled dump truck." "Oh, and your new name is officially Kosher Cappuccino." "(laughs)" "You make this so easy when there's only two of you." "Why don't you count again, sweetheart." "It's payback time." "RYDER:" "Hey!" "Jake's my boy." "From now on, you mess with him, you mess with me." "And me." "And me." "And me, too." "Whatever." "Better stuff to do anyway." "What'd you do that for?" "You had my back." "Now I've got yours." "Excuse me." "Uh, which superhero are you supposed to be?" "Kidding me?" "I'm the Puckerman!" "Can we take photo, please?" "That'll be ten bucks." "For 20, I'll clean your pool, and if you give me 100, I'll give you the greatest night of your life." "(both speaking French)" "Un, deux, trois." "(camera clicks)" "Voila!" "Merci." "Merci, suckers." "Au revoir." "All right." "(cell phone vibrating)" "What's up, half bro with the afro?" "Hey, man." "Uh, where are you?" "It sounds really loud." "I'm just making some scratch out on Hollywood Boulevard, aka the enormous skid mark Los Angeles found in its undies." "What's going on?" "I need some brotherly advice." "I'm all ears." "Okay, what are you supposed to do when you really like a girl, but you didn't know it at first, then you sort of blew your shot with her, and now this other dude's really into her" "who you used to think was a total poser, but turns out he's actually a really cool guy who totally has your back, and you know you'll be a world-class D-bag if you jump in now and try to break them up?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it up." "Question: is she hot?" "Yeah." "Uh, dude, you could say that." "Got it." "All right, well, listen up." "Play it cool." "Unlike the rest of those Lima losers, you have superior Puckerman testosterone that's pumping those hallways full of premium." "Puckerman-brand pheromones." "Just let her catch a whiff." "Then you can sit back and play nice." "And in a couple weeks," "I guarantee she'll be begging for it." "You really think that's gonna work?" "Trust me." "That's how I bagged Teri Hatcher." "Let me tell you, she's not complaining." "Listen, man, I got to go." "Homeless guy just threw up on Barbra Streisand's star." "I got to snap a pic." "But remember my advice:" "Don't be a dick..." "But don't give up." "Thanks, bro." "(school bell ringing)" "Dude, this is part of some master plan, right?" "You're going back to the Warblers to gather intel for us so we can kick their ass at Sectionals." "Sam, don't." "I feel awful enough as it is." "Stop, okay?" "You've been beating yourself up for, like, weeks since you and Kurt broke up." "But going back to Dalton?" "You told Finn it was 'cause you feel more at home there." "If you ask me, it's just another way to punish yourself." "And for what?" "What did you do, exactly?" "(panting)" "You okay?" "No." "Is it because I don't look at all like my profile picture?" "I'm sorry, I-I have to go." "It was a guy that friended me on Facebook." "I went over to his place because it felt like Kurt was moving on with his life and I wasn't a part of it." "And I got to thinking that maybe" "Kurt and I weren't meant for each other." "That we weren't supposed to spend the rest of our lives together." "But the horrible thing is, right after I did it I knew that we were." "Dude, you got to tell Kurt that." "What, you think I haven't told him that?" "You think I haven't tried?" "Calm down." "It's okay." "No, it's not okay, Sam, 'cause I cheated on the one person that I love more than anything in this world." "I hurt him, so of course he's not gonna trust me." "He's never gonna forgive me." "Even if he doesn't, you got to forgive yourself." "You got to stop..." "What's-what's the word when you make someone into a villain?" "Uh..." "Villainize?" "Yeah, you got to stop villainizing yourself." "Yeah, you hurt Kurt;" "That wasn't cool." "So you're trying to make it right." "But exiling yourself to Dalton won't fix anything." "I just want to stop feeling like" "I'm a bad person." "You're not." "You're one of the good guys." "And I got a whole glee club that agrees with me." "Give me a day." "One day before you pack it all up." "One day... to be the hero we all know you are." "And then, you know, you can... decide where you really belong." "(David Bowie's "Heroes" begins)" "♪ I" "♪ I wish I could swim" "♪ Like the dolphins" "♪ Like dolphins can swim" "♪ Though nothing" "♪ Nothing will keep us together ♪" "♪ We can beat them" "♪ Forever and ever" "♪ Oh, we can be heroes" "♪ Just for one day" "♪" "♪ I will be king" "♪ And you" "♪ You will be queen" "♪ Though nothing" "♪ Will drive them away" "♪ We can be heroes" "♪ Forever and ever" "♪ Then we can be heroes" "♪ Just for one day" "♪ We can be heroes" "♪ We can be heroes" "♪ Just for one day." "Well?" "What's your decision?" "(sighs)" "One last mission first." "You in?" "(fanfare plays)" "(birds chirping)" "(jazzy superhero music playing)" "(school bell rings)" "Hey." "Listen, I hate to do this, but..." "I have to reschedule our date on Friday." "What?" "Wh-Why?" "I have to study." "(clears throat) And, uh..." "I have my first appointment with a dyslexia specialist on Saturday, and he's, like, the best in Ohio, so he could only squeeze me in at 7:00 a.m., which means I have to go straight home after the game." "Well..." "I was really looking forward to hanging out." "Me, too." "I-I just..." "It's really important." "I want this to be the first semester" "I hand my mom a report card with an "A" on it." "How about next Friday?" "Can we go out then?" "Sure." "Awesome." "Thanks." "Ouch." "That sounded like the beginning of the end." "What do you mean? "I can't go out because I have to study"?" "Sounded an awful lot like "I'm not that into you." Well, he has to get up early to see a doctor." "Is that what it is?" "Or is it maybe all the yogurt-covered raisins?" "Don't listen to what everybody else is saying..." "I don't think you look bloated at all." "But if you want to win his attention, you should really hit the elliptical." "Stat." "You know what?" "The old Marley would have sat home alone on a Friday night, but the new superheroine Marley's not gonna wait around." "Hi." "What are you doing Friday night?" "Uh... going on a date with you." "Good." "(sighs)" "SAM:" "Guys, it was epic." "Dalton was like Death Star meets Mordor meets Temple of Doom." "I mean, I might be exaggerating, but probably not." "I owe all of you an apology for ever doubting McKinley's my home." "You guys are my home." "We've got a real fight ahead of us with the Warblers at Sectionals, but I am not worried at all." "Because we've got the team, we've got the talent, and... we have, most importantly, the leader." "(cheers and applause)" "Thank you." "That's you, Finn!" "Go put that in the case." "I love you, Finn!" "All right, all right, all right, all right, all right." "Let's start with some warm-ups, and then we can..." "Uh, Finn, wait." "Can I say something?" "This is for you, from all of us." "ARTIE:" "It's a superhero utility belt cleverly disguised as a fanny pack." "There's some stuff in there we thought you could use." "Ah, cool, uh..." "Magic markers." "I could never find these." "Antacid." "(chuckles)" "In case you get the show choir squirts." "Thanks." "BRITTANY:" "That's from me." "You're welcome." "BLAINE:" "That's to always remind you that you're the almighty Treble Clef, the Uniter of Glee Clubs." "And the Uniter of Friends." "Wow." "Uh..." "I don't know what to say." "I'll never let you down." "I promise." "Okay, come on, huddle up." "All right, let's huddle up." "(Brittany squeals)" "Next week at Sectionals, we are gonna kick some Warblers' sorry asses." "Yes." "And then it's Regionals, and then it's Nationals, and then this year is gonna go down in the McKinley High record books as the greatest year the New Directions!" "Has ever seen." "Onwards and upwards!" "ALL:" "Amazing!" "♪ Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck ♪" "♪ Some nights I call it a draw ♪" "♪ Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle ♪" "♪ Some nights I wish they'd just fall off ♪" "♪ But I still wake up, I still see your ghost ♪" "♪ Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for ♪" "♪ Oh, what do I stand for?" "♪ Oh, oh ♪" "♪ What do I stand for?" "♪ Most nights I don't know" "♪ Anymore ♪ Oh, whoa ♪" "♪ Oh, whoa, oh ♪" "♪ This is it, boys, this is war ♪" "♪ What are we waiting for?" "♪ Why don't we break the rules already?" "♪" "♪ I was never one to believe the hype ♪" "♪ Save that for the black and white, try twice as hard ♪" "♪ And I'm half as liked" "♪ But here they come again to jack my style ♪" "♪ That's all right ♪ That's all right" "♪ I found a martyr in my bed tonight ♪" "♪ Stops my bone from wondering just ♪" "♪ Who I, who I am" "♪ Oh, who am I?" "♪ Mmm" "MARLEY:" "♪ Who am I?" "♪ Who am I?" "♪ Well" "♪ Some nights I wish that this all would end ♪" "♪ 'Cause I could use some friends for a change ♪" "♪ And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again ♪" "♪ Some nights I always win, I always win ♪" "♪ But I still wake up" "♪ I still see your ghost, oh, Lord, I'm still not sure ♪" "♪ What I stand for, oh ♪ Oh ♪" "♪ What do I stand for?" "♪ Oh ♪" "♪ What do I stand for?" "♪ Most nights I don't know" "♪ Oh, come on" "JOE:" "So, this is it?" "I sold my soul for this?" "Washed my hands of that for this?" "I miss my mom and dad for this?" "♪ So, come on ♪ Oh, come on" "♪ Come on" "♪ Oh, come on!" "♪ Oh, oh, whoa, oh, whoa ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa, ooh" "♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah" "♪ The other night you wouldn't believe ♪" "♪ The dream I just had about you and me ♪" "♪ I called you up, but we'd both agree ♪" "♪ Oh, come on!" "♪ It's for the best you didn't listen ♪" "♪ Oh" "♪ It's for the best we get our distance ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, whoa" "♪ Oh, whoa, oh." "(cheers and applause)"