"(thunder crashes)" "(clears throat)" "(both shivering)" "MALORY:" "Woodhouse?" "WOODHOUSE:" "Mum." "MALORY:" "IfIsee thisglass empty again, I will be very unhappy." "WOODHOUSE:" "Perishthe thought, mum." "MALORY:" "Now,then." "Who'd like to go first?" "(Cyril coughs)" "No?" "All right, then I will." "Idiots!" "(both yelling)" "Thank you, dear." "For a moment there, I thought" "I was going to be unhappy." "Now, then." "Who's next?" "ARCHER:" "Okay,so ,uh ..." "I guess I'll go if..." "MALORY:" "IfIcan juststop  you there." "Will you please cover yourself?" "!" "CHERLENE:" "Withwhat?" "I don't have any... (spraying)" "There." "Happy?" "MALORY:" "No!" "I didn't mean with whipped cream!" "PAM:" "It'sactuallywhipped cocaine, so... (Malory groans)" "MALORY:" "Thatexplainswhere some of it went." "CHERLENE:" "Mmm,andthe tingly numbness of my nipples." "MALORY:" "Andwhyare you  dressed like the whore the rest of the trailer park finally decided they had to stone to death?" "CHERLENE:" "Duh,we were shooting my album cover." "KRIEGER:" "Yes!" "Good, yes, that is perfect!" "PAM:" "Perfectforwhat?" "Come on, it's an album cover, not a..." "Amish Bible!" "PAM:" "Yougottosexthatshit up sexy." "KRIEGER:" "Um..." "CHERLENE:" "I thinkit 'spretty sexy." "PAM:" "Youthinkthat'ssexy ?" "With the rocket pops... outside of you." "CHERLENE:" "I mean..." "KRIEGER:" "Butif sheeats them, we lose the whole red, white and... okay..." "PAM:" "Yeah,nottalkingabout eating them." "CHERLENE:" "Wait,whatare  you..." "You want me to put a rocket pop in my vagina?" "!" "PAM:" "Well,forstarters." "But let's not rule anything out." "You know?" "Let's kind of see where that leads." "We've got a shitload of film." "KRIEGER:" "I 'msupposedto have film in this?" "CHERLENE:" "Goddamnit !" "PAM:" "Krieger!" "LANA:" "So,Ihaveaquestion." "PAM:" "Thebutthole,Lana,is what I was..." "LANA:" "Yeah,Igot that." "But do you think the cover for a country album should be hardcore...?" "What do you even call that?" "Food porn?" "PAM:" "I do." "LANA:" "Youthinkitmakesa good country album cover or you call it food porn?" "PAM:" "Yes." "LANA:" "Areyou...?" "(Cherlene squealing)" "CHERLENE:" "Thesethingsare  freezing!" "KRIEGER:" "Film,film,film, film, film!" "LANA:" "Quitputtingrocket pops in your ass!" "CHERLENE:" "I 'meatingthem." "Jesus, what is wrong with you?" "LANA:" "I guessIjustdon't get art." "PAM:" "Youobviouslydon 't." "And it's not that we don't appreciate criticism." "It just needs to be constructive." "ARCHER:" "Yeah,Lana." "MALORY:" "Shutup ." "And then tell me what happened to the hundred pounds of..." "BOTH:" "Kilos." "MALORY:" "Kilos,thankyou , shut up." "Of cocaine that you took to" "Colombia." "LANA:" "Which..." "MALORY:" "Lana,whenIwant you to talk, I will tell you, and until then, zip it!" "LANA:" "Wha...?" "Whatdid Ido ?" "MALORY:" "Nothing!" "ARCHER:" "Yeah,Lana." "MALORY:" "Whichis whythese feckless idiots lost 200 kilos of cocaine!" "ARCHER:" "Yeah,La ..." "Oh ." "Uh, okay, technically, but then we stole a plane loaded with, like, twice as much cocaine!" "MALORY:" "Isthisthe part where you tell me to look under my seat?" "ARCHER:" "No,unfortunatelywe ran into some..." "CYRIL:" "Assholishness." "(all yelling)" "RAY:" "Archer,IsweartoGod!" "I will crash this plane right into the goddamn ocean!" "ARCHER:" "I 'lltakemy chances with the ocean!" "The ocean isn't full of alligators!" "And do not even think about it," "Cyril!" "CYRIL:" "Ray,whatdoI do ?" "!" "RAY:" "Uh..." "I guess hang on." "(grunts)" "ARCHERandCYRIL:" "Whoa!" "(both grunting)" "RAY:" "Sorry,Cyril." "ARCHER:" "Ow." "CYRIL:" "Oh,shutup." "It's your own fault." "ARCHER:" "Debatable." "CYRIL:" "No,it 's..." "ARCHER:" "Shutup ." "Come on, Ray, there has to be somewhere to land besides the middle of the damn Everglades." "RAY:" "Well,notwithinfuel  range, so..." "ARCHER:" "Andwho'sfault is that?" "RAY:" "IsaacgoddamnNewton!" "You see that airstrip?" "The one that's circled?" "That's the only one in range, and we've only, barely, got enough fuel to make it there, so..." "ARCHER:" "ButMiami's,like, right over here." "CYRIL:" "Wecan'tlandata real airport!" "Even if Ray had filed a flight plan..." "ARCHER:" "Whydidn'tyou file a flight plan?" "!" "That's like Airplane Stuff 101." "CYRIL:" "Notwhenthe airplane is stolen and crammed full of guns and cocaine!" "ARCHER:" "Ah." "I will concede that point." "RAY:" "Damnit ." "ARCHER:" "What'sup ?" "CYRIL:" "What'sgoingon?" "RAY:" "Burningtoomuch fuel-- we're heavy." "CYRIL:" "Whatdo youmean, heavy?" "ARCHER:" "Yousaidwehad enough fuel to..." "RAY:" "I saidbarely!" "I bet the Colombians didn't count on three passengers." "CYRIL( sobbing):" "Oh,my God, we're gonna crash!" "ARCHER:" "Cyril,do notpanic." "Just get out." "CYRIL:" "What?" "!" "ARCHER:" "Dotherightthing," "Cyril." "You have nothing to live for." "CYRIL:" "Getyourhandsoffme." "ARCHER:" "Okay,relax." "Jesus." "Whatever happened to Team" "Archer?" "CYRIL:" "Pleasetellmethat  was never a real thing to you." "ARCHER:" "Eh..." "Imean..." "RAY:" "Hello?" "Time's a bit of a factor here!" "ARCHER:" "Cyril,forthe love of God, man, jump!" "CYRIL:" "Justthrowout the  cocaine." "ARCHER:" "What?" "!" "No !" "I'm not telling Mother I lost the original hundred pounds of..." "CYRILandRAY:" "Kilos!" "ARCHER:...whateverunitof measurement-- of cocaine!" "Plus, all this cocaine!" "Do you have any idea how mad she'd be?" "RAY:" "Well,the alternative is a belly-landing in a swamp filled with alligators!" "ARCHER:" "No." "No ,no ,no ." "No ." "What if, um..." "CYRIL:" "Archer!" "Alligators or your mother!" "ARCHER:" "What'sthe difference?" "They're both cold-blooded prehistoric monsters." "(Malory clears throat loudly)" "MALORY:" "Excuseme ?" "ARCHER:" "I meantthepainof disappointing you would... bite... alligator... ish... ly." "MALORY:" "Uh-huh." "ARCHER:" "Anyway,rightabout then..." "RAY:" "Okay,Ican see the  airstrip." "CYRIL:" "Well,canwemake it?" "RAY:" "Maybe,if you..." "ARCHER:" "Wait!" "Ray,you said the Colombians were flying to this airstrip?" "RAY:" "Yes!" "Why do you think it's marked on the chart, you idiot?" "ARCHER:" "Okay,well,let 's circle back to who's an idiot, and talk about who's probably waiting at this airstrip." "(Cyril gasps)" "RAY:" "Dukes." "ARCHER:" "Andwhattheir reaction will be to three total strangers showing up in their plane without their coke." "CYRIL:" "They'llkillus!" "RAY:" "Well...maybenot ." "ARCHER:" "Wait,why?" "CYRIL:" "Whymaybenot ?" "(sputtering)" "(Archer and Cyril shout)" "RAY:" "Becausethat." "(sputtering)" "(Archer and Cyril shout)" "And that." "Happy?" "ARCHER:" "What,like,in general or...?" "MALORY:" "Ooh,thisis exciting." "I hope everyone dies." "ARCHER:" "Uh,we obviouslyd..." "Oh." "Hardy har, Mother." "(slurps)" "MALORY:" "Andso ourheroes, such as they are, have run out of fuel and... what." "RAY:" "No,no ,no !" "What are you doing?" "!" "CYRIL:" "Throwingoutthe guns!" "RAY:" "No,no ,no ,no ,no !" "You're screwing the trim all to hell!" "ARCHER( chuckles):" "This no-phrasing thing is killing me." "RAY:" "Bestcase,our  glide ratio's maybe ten-to-one." "But it's a lot less with the damn door hanging..." "Oh, no, no, no!" "(automatic gunfire)" "CYRIL:" "Yeah!" "ARCHER:" "Woooooo!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "(Archer and Cyril grunt)" "RAY:" "Youidiots!" "CYRIL:" "WhatdidIdo ?" "ARCHER:" "Don't." "There'sno talking to him when he gets like this." "RAY:" "Dumpthedamnguns !" "CYRIL:" "Uh,Iam, ifyou'd shut up!" "ARCHER:" "Wait,wait,wait, wait, Cyril!" "CYRIL:" "What?" "Archer!" "RAY:" "We'recomingin!" "Brace for landing!" "ARCHER:" "Tellyouina minute." "RAY:" "Geardown!" "(Cyril moans)" "RAY( strained):" "We'renot gonna make it." "(Cyril whimpers)" "ARCHER:" "Exciting,isn'tit?" "(Cyril yelping)" "(Archer chuckling)" "ARCHER:" "Oh,so ,Cyril... what I was gonna say was... maybe don't throw out all the guns because you know what they say... it's better to have a gun and not need it than to be the" "world's biggest dickhead, and inside your head there's a million more dicks, like, uh, if you cut open a golf ball, only instead of those little rubber bands in there, it's just, you" "know..." "CYRIL:" "Dicks?" "ARCHER:" "Oh,so youhaveheard that." "MALORY:" "Andso Gillettelands safely" " I'm sure there's a joke in there about fairy dust-- and then what happens?" "CYRIL( chuckles):" "Yeah,tell her what happens next." "ARCHER:" "I willif youshut your... mouth." "(quietly):" "Okay, listen up." "Say what you will about my skills as a drug kingpin..." "RAY:" "Youdon'thaveany." "CYRIL:" "Completely nonexistent." "ARCHER:" "Areyoudone?" "RAYandCYRIL:" "Yes ." "ARCHER:" "Good,becauseif there's one thing I'm good at, out of the million other things" "I'm good at, it's infiltrating the enemy with an assumed identity." "RAY:" "NamedRandy." "ARCHER:" "Namedshutup, it's not always Randy." "GILLETTE( chuckling):" "Oh,my" "God." "CYRIL:" "Always." "(others agreeing)" "ARCHER:" "That'sbecause" "Randy's awesome!" "And I'm the best in the world at this, so shut up and follow my lead." "Hey, guy... (grunts)" "(Ray and Cyril squeak)" "SLATER:" "Anybodyelsein there?" "RAYandCYRIL:" "No." "(others reacting in shock)" "MALORY:" "Sterling,howare you  not dead?" "ARCHER( sighs):" "BecauseI didn't get shot with buckshot." "I got beanbagged." "(Pam growls)" "Beanbagged, Pam." "(others gasp, groan)" "MALORY:" "Oh,my God." "ARCHER:" "Yeah,Icould've died." "CYRIL( scoffs):" "Itwasa beanbag." "ARCHER:" "Medicalfact,Cyril." "If you get hit in the chest between heartbeats, you can die." "Go ask Houdini." "PAM( chuckling):" "Askhim what, how to get AIDS?" "MALORY( sighs):" "Sowhowere these goons?" "ARCHER:" "Theywere..." "They kind of looked ex-military, now that you mention it." "MALORY:" "American." "ARCHER:" "Yeah,andthe  leader's name was..." "SLATER:" "Slater." "Just call me Slater." "And sorry about the beanbag." "Man, that must kill." "ARCHER:" "Yeah." "Yeah,you hear" ""beanbag," you think Beanie" "Baby, not... internal bleeding." "SLATER:" "Well,thedoorwas shot off, and we didn't know who you were." "Still don't, I guess, formally, uh..." "ARCHER:" "Uh,Rand...o." "SLATER:" "Rando." "ARCHER:" "Yep." "SLATER:" "Rando...?" "ARCHER:" "Uh,no ,that'sit." "It's a mononym, like Cher." "CYRIL:" "Pliny." "RAY:" "Cantinflas!" "SLATER:" "I knowwhat"mononym"" "means." "What I don't know is who you people are." "ARCHER:" "Uh,I'mRando" "I think we covered that fairly well-- and these are the, uh," "McCracken brothers, Phil and" "Odie." "CYRIL:" "Hello." "RAY:" "Odie,hush." "SLATER:" "Sowhydoyouguys have my cocaine?" "ARCHER:" "We..." "SLATER:" "I 'mnotdone." "ARCHER:" "Sorry." "SLATER:" "Whathaveyou done with Gomez..." "What, you're just not gonna answer?" "ARCHER:" "Oh!" "S-Sorry." "You kind of trailed off like there was, like, a third..." "SLATER:" "Whydo youhavemy cocaine and where the hell is" "Gomez, full goddamn stop!" "ARCHER:" "Gomezwasgonnasteal it." "SLATER:" "Sayswho?" "ARCHER( chuckles):" Who."" "Nice." "Anyway, they called us in, uh, to address that, which we did and now we're here and..." "Full stop?" "TOUGHGUY:" "Okay,thisisthe last of it." "The weight's good." "We tested ten of the bricks." "Looks like it's all here." "SLATER:" "Well,eitheryou guys are the shittiest coke thieves on the planet..." "CYRIL( chuckles):" "Whichwe  are not." "(chuckles) You know, I mean, if that was..." "I mean, if we put our minds to it." "Look, here's the thing about the" "McCracken brothers..." "ARCHER:" "Odie,hush!" "Uh, you were saying?" "SLATER:" "Hey,betweenyou and  me, I thought Gomez was hinky from the get-go and, since the coke's all here, let's get you fellas loaded." "ARCHER:" "Yeah,nowyou 're talking." "About something else entirely." "Apparently." "SLATER( chuckles):" "What,did you nerf-nuts think I was talking about getting drunk?" "ARCHER:" "Uh,yeah,onmoney." "SLATER( laughing):" "Oh,man, classic Rando." "And don't worry, Calderon's good for the money." "At least for now." "Am I right, fellas?" "ARCHER:" "Areyou?" "SLATER( laughs):" "Classic" "Rando." "ARCHER( chuckles):" "Yeah," "Rando's awesome." "SLATER:" "So,obviouslyyou 're not gonna be able to pressurize this baby, so, uh..." "RAY:" "I 'llkeepit under 8,000." "SLATER:" "Stillgonnafreeze your asses off." "Good thing you're flying south, huh?" "ARCHER:" "Mmm...yep." "SLATER:" "Youdo knowwhere you're going, right?" "ARCHER:" "I absolutelyknow where we're going." "CYRIL:" "Yeah,backhometo ask Mommy what to do." "ARCHER:" "Hey,shutup!" "CYRIL:" "Youshutup!" "ARCHER:" "Ow.(grunts)" "Ma, they done killed old Rando." "LANA:" "So,youleavehere with  a bunch of the first load of cocaine, which just mysteriously appeared at ISIS and that Malory swears wasn't hers..." "MALORY:" "Becauseit most certainly was not!" "CYRIL:" "Wait,thenwheredid it come from?" "MALORY:" "Obviouslyfrom" "Sterling." "ARCHER:" "Obviouslyfrom" "Mother." "MALORYandARCHER:" "No, not  from me!" "Well, I certainly... (high-pitched whistle)" "(others groaning)" "LANA:" "Sorryto breakthatup." "I love Freaky Friday as much as the next gal, but let's just press on, operating under the assumption that one, or more likely both, of you are lying and that..." "MALORYandARCHER:" "Lana,I swear..." "LANA( whistles):" "Pressingon ." "So then you stumble into another bunch of cocaine in the jungle and then continue stumbling into a beanbagging arms dealer, so that now, almost inexplicably, we have enough weapons to invade" "Quebec." "KRIEGER:" "Wait,literally?" "LANA:" "No,Krieger,not  literally." "PAM:" "Aww." "CHERLENE:" "Lame." "KRIEGER:" "Well,if we everdo,  the best time to invade is right after brunch, when they're all logy." "LANA:" "Archer?" "ARCHER:" "I don'tknow." "I mean, it couldn't hurt, but..." "LANA:" "Stilltalkingabout this." "Not invading Quebec." "ARCHER:" "Oh,yeah,thenthey  loaded the plane with the weapons, said we were heading south and that Calderon would pay us." "LANA:" "Calderon?" "(gasps) As in Gustavo Calderon?" "ARCHER( burps):" "ShouldIknow who that is?" "CYRIL:" "Howcouldyou not ?" "ARCHER:" "I don'tknow,Cyril." "Maybe I was busy saving your life once, and then you shot me." "MALORY:" "GustavoCalderon,aka" "Baby Gus, is the president of" "San Marcos." "(Archer burps)" "ARCHER:" "ShouldIknow..." "MALORY:" "OhforGod 'ssake," "Sterling, it's a country in" "Central America." "ARCHER:" "Mm,notaccordingto this." "LANA:" "Becausethatthing'sa hundred years old." "It still says "German East" "Africa."" "KRIEGER:" "Wewillnever recognize Tanganyika!" "LANA:" "Well,it 'sTanzania now, so..." "PAM:" "Aww." "CHERLENE:" "Lame." "KRIEGER:" "Well,whatever,as long as they don't nationalize the ivory trade." "I don't think my portfolio can take the hit." "LANA:" "Trustme ,SanMarcosis a country." "MALORY:" "Andit 'sin the middle of a civil war." "Communist rebels are tearing through the countryside like... like..." "PAM:" "Cows." "Bees." "Hang on." "Bees." "MALORY( sighs):" "Howdo you not know about San Marcos?" "It's all over the news every night." "ANCHORMAN:fromSanMarcos tonight, as the Communist rebel forces consolidate their gains in the countryside, and now prepare to move on the capital." "We spoke with President Gustavo" "Calderon, seen here volunteering at the hospital, comforting the wounded." "CALDERON:" "Oh,hello,Idid not see you there." "I was comforting this brave young man here, the fruit of San" "Marcos, wounded by a Communist sneeper." "I think he has died." "Yes." "But let me say this, to the" "Communists who are murdering our brave young fruits, and to the puppet masters in Moscow and the capital of China, you cannot kill the spirit of" "San Mar..." "PAM:" "Aww." "CHERLENE:" "Lame." "As in who cares." "MALORY:" "TheUnitedStates." "Apparently Calderon is barely clinging to power." "ARCHER:" "Huh." "You think this is somehow related?" "(chuckles)" "I'm kidding, obviously." "RAY:" "Areyou?" "PAM:" "Yeah,right." "LANA:" "I don'tthinkyou are ." "ARCHER:" "Yes,I'mkidding." "Because you want to know what I really think is going on here?" "CHERLENE:" "You'realljealous!" "My album's coming out, and it's gonna be huge, and you're all jealous, and so you just want to ruin it for me." "MALORY:" "WhywouldIwant to ruin your album?" "I get 50% of the profits." "LANA:" "Archer?" "ARCHER:" "I don'tknow,maybe a little jealous." "It's an exciting time for her." "LANA:" "This." "Still talking about this." "ARCHER:" "Oh,right,right, right." "So what I think is..." "MALORY:" "I thinkyou've managed to stumble backwards into a CIA-backed, anti-Communist, drugs-for-arms operation." "ARCHER:" "Wow,thatactually makes more sense." "LANA:" "Than...?" "ARCHER:" "No,no ,let'sjustgo with her thing." "CYRIL:" "Which,if it 'strue, is..." "MALORY:" "Wonderful." "CYRIL:" "I wasgoingtosay terrible." "MALORY:" "Becauseyouare a timid man, Cyril." "CYRIL:" "What?" "No ,I'mnot ." "PAM( laughing):" "Dude,your balls are made of pussy." "(Archer laughs)" "ARCHER:" "Aah!" "Ow ." "Oh ." "All kidding aside, I maybe should go to a hospital." "MALORY:" "Cyril,thisisan opportunity to finally make some money." "Even if we had a buyer for the cocaine, do we even still have half of it left?" "KRIEGER:" "Eh..." "MALORY:" "What?" "KRIEGER:" "It's,um ,youknow, not..." "It's..." "MALORY:" "Krieger!" "KRIEGER:" "Mm?" "MALORY:" "Tellme what'sgoing on or I will literally emasculate you." "KRIEGER:" "Well,no ,if you literally emas... (coughs)" "Okay, so, for a few weeks, I've been working on a bit of a side project." "I give you... the Red Kriegtober." "LANA:" "Um..." "KRIEGER:" "OrtheRed" "OctKrieger." "I can't decide." "It's a narco-sub." "For transporting cocaine." "It's totally undetectable by the Coast Guard." "Thoughts?" "LANA:" "Howyougonnagetit out of here?" "KRIEGER:" "Hm?" "LANA:" "Howdoesthatthing leave this room?" "KRIEGER:" "Goddamnit !" "MALORY:" "Oh,forthe ..." "How much money did you waste on that little boondoggle?" "KRIEGER:" "Well,it 'snotthat so much as..." "MALORY:" "Krieger?" "KRIEGER:" "Well,Ineeded ballast, and what better to simulate bricks of cocaine than, you know, bricks of cocaine?" "MALORY:" "Krieger..." "KRIEGER:" "AndwhenIrealized it would never feel the wind on its face, or taste the salty spray of the sea, I..." "I... (explosions)" "MALORY:" "Youwhat?" "KRIEGER:" "I blewit up !" "Goddamn you all to hell, I blew it up!" "(all exclaiming)" "CHERLENE:" "I 'mnotcleaningit up." "PAM:" "Youmeanit'sallgone?" "KRIEGER:" "I ...( sniffles)" "No, no, not all of it." "(Pam sobbing)" "PAM:" "Why?" "KRIEGER:" "Shh,shh,shh ,shh , shh, shh, shh." "There, there." "MALORY:" "Woodhouse,dear,I need some more ice." "WOODHOUSE:" "Straightaway,mum." "MALORY:" "Oh,andasmallbowl,  a mirror, a needle and thread, and a straight razor." "CYRIL:" "Whoa." "RAY:" "Justcalmdown." "ARCHER:" "Whoa,whoa..." "LANA:" "You'renotemasculating" "Krieger." "KRIEGER:" "Whatthehellwas the mirror for?" "MALORY:" "Soyoucouldwatch." "(thunder rumbles)" "(Krieger squeaks)" "(Malory sighs)" "MALORY:" "Theperfectending to the perfect... (laughs)" "I almost said "evening."" "More like months, though, isn't it?" "Since we started scrabbling for coins because the damn government took away our... everything." "They took everything." "And the only thing that was left, you idiots either lost, gave away, ate or just blew up and sank." "ARCHER:" "Yeah,Krieger." "LANA:" "Archer." "MALORY:" "Andso ,startingnow , in addition to the country music business, which..." "CHERLENE:" "Right?" "MALORY:" "Weareinthearms business." "KRIEGER:" "There'sstilla little cocaine left." "LANA:" "Krieger." "ARCHER:" "Yeah,Krieger." "LANA:" "Anddo we wanttotalk  about this or..." "MALORY:" "You'rewelcometo." "I, personally, am going to bed." "It's been a long night." "ARCHER:" "Oh,yeah,wh-whyare you all dressed up?" "MALORY:" "Well,notthatit's  any of anyone's business, but I had dinner with Ron." "ARCHER:" "What?" "CHERLENE:" "Ooh." "CYRIL:" "Soundsdelightful." "ARCHER:" "Wait--you'restill getting divorced, right?" "MALORY:" "No." "We have decided to give it another chance, and so we will be going to marriage counseling and... (mumbles)" "ARCHER:" "Wait,what?" "PAM:" "Huh?" "CYRIL:" "Marriagecounseling and what?" "ARCHER:" "I didn'tcatchthat." "MALORY:" "Oh,for..." "We've decided to have an open marriage." "CYRIL:" "Okay." "PAM:" "Nice." "KRIEGER:" "Gross." "CHERLENE:" "Oh,my God." "MALORY:" "Well,it waseither that or... (phone rings)" "CHERLENE( gasps):" "Oh,my God." "It's Ron." "Hello... (all gasping)" "ARCHER:" "Oh,no !" "MALORY:" "Andso ..." "ARCHER:" "Jesus." "Hope he doesn't call me." "LANA:" "Whywouldhecall y...  (phone rings)" "(Pam clears throat)" "(clicks phone off)" "Captioned by" "MediaAccessGroupatWGBH  access.wgbh.org" "MAN:" "Made...in Georgia."