"(SINGING) Yeah!" "Do what you wanna do" "Be what you wanna be" "Freedom's no mystery" "Say what you wanna say" "Tomorrow is another day" "But here's the news" "Nobody's stopping you" "Do what you wanna do" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Hey, you just..." "Hi, Donny." "Hey..." "Carter." "Right." "How much?" "Oh, no, no, no." "No charge." "A deal's a deal." "Free bait in exchange for never having to take the bus again." "Great." "Carter, talk to you for a second?" "Yeah." "So, did he ask you to that homecoming dance thing yet?" "Dad!" "Don't embarrass me." "I'm your dad, it's my job." "Come home right after school." "We got a lot of work to do around here." "Yeah." "What are you doing here?" "Donny's driving us until I get my new ride." "Isn't that sweet?" "That's sweet." "There's no room for me." "Sure there is." "Come on, climb in." "No, she's right." "Brooke's already wrinkling my after-lunch outfit." "No, I'm not!" "Chelsea, this is high school, not Vegas." "You don't need a costume change." "Right." "But you might wanna think about it." "(CHUCKLES)" "I'm sorry, Carter." "Hey, thanks for the bait." "See you." "Bye." "(SINGING) Do what you wanna do" "Be what you wanna be" "Freedom's no mystery" "Say what you wanna say" "Tomorrow is another day" "I can't stand them." "They're such princesses." "You said that like it's a bad thing." "Carter, they're teenage girls." "They're probably just jealous." "Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're not." "(CELL PHONE ringing)" "It's Mason." "Yes, sir." "No, sir." "Right away." "You're leaving again?" "Two days, max." "It's no big deal." "It's just a routine op." "Yeah, that's what you always say." "Just be careful." "Okay?" "Always." "You and me, pal." "You and me, Dad." "DlMlTRl:" "Her Royal Highness, Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore." "Princesa de Costa Luna." "And you're walking, and walking as your adoring subjects welcome you." "Dimitri, my coronation is one month away." "Why do we have to practice now?" "Ah!" "The rehearsal is so that everything will be perfect." "Princesa, what a beautiful coronation dress you are wearing." "Who, may I ask, designed it?" "You did, Mr. Elegante." "So I did." "I am brilliant, no?" "(laughing) Yes." "sophia:" "Thank you for coming to help Rosalinda." "Now that my husband has passed away, only she can become queen of Costa Luna." "But it is so much for someone so young." "And I'm afraid that General Kane will take advantage of that." "No, I'll be here, Sophia." "I'll protect her like she's my own." "I know you will, Major Mason." "I know you will." "(CORONATlON music playing)" "Sounds like your music." "(ROSALlNDA speaking spanish)" "Turn to face your subjects, Rosalinda." "Honored guests, family, friends," "I present to you Princesa Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore, heir to the throne of Costa Luna." "She is willing to be your queen." "If any person has a reason to object, let them come forward and be heard!" "(ALL gasping)" "I object." "The Princesa is too young to be queen." "Costa Luna and Costa Estrella are two tiny countries who must unite and stand together against the world." "Therefore, for the good of both our countries, I, General Magnus Kane, declare myself El Presidente de la Republica de las Costas." "(ALL exclaiming)" "Seize them!" "(ALL shouting)" "(GRUNTlNG)" "What?" "JOE:" "The time is now." "Go now with Major Mason." "Go now!" "archbishop:" "Hurry, my queen, we must go now." "Who are you?" "Where are you taking me?" "I'm here to protect you, but you need to trust me." "But what about my mother?" "She's going to meet us, but we need to hurry." "Are you all right, Mama?" "Yes, yes, darling, yes." "I knew General Kane would try something like this, so I made a plan to protect you." "You must trust Major Mason." "You must do everything he says." "Do you promise me you will do that?" "Yes, Mama, I promise." "JOE:" "We need to move." "Okay." "Come on." "Mama, where are we going?" "No, not "we," mija." "You." "The General will say you abandoned the country, but I must stay, so the people know that you will return when it's safe." "No!" "Not without you." "Here." "So, no matter what happens, you never forget you are a princess." "Don't worry, mi reina bonita, we will be together very soon." "(GUARDS shouting)" "We gotta go now." "Let's go." "(helicopter BLADES whirring)" "JOE:" "Hurry up!" "Inside!" "Go!" "You will never find her." "And as long as she remains free, there will be hope in Costa Luna." "I could not agree more." "But the Princesa is only a girl, madam." "She will contact her mother." "And when she does, I will bring her back to Costa Luna, where she will rot with her mother in a tiny dirt cell." "You will both become a tragic symbol of futility to those who would defy me." "Take her away!" "What is this place?" "You'll see." "(birds squawking)" "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "Door opening." "Door closing." "(machinery WHlRRlNG)" "What..." "Where am I?" "Is this some kind of prison?" "Not prison, protection." "Princess Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore, you are now in the safe custody of the International Princess Protection Program, the PPP." "I've never heard of it." "Nobody ever hears about us until we're needed." "Good work, Major." "Thank you, Director." "A UTOMA TED VOICE:" "Level three." "Security." "You'll be safe now, Princess." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "(machinery WHlRRlNG)" "How long am I staying here?" "Until you're ready for stage four." "Stage four?" "What is stage one?" "Extraction." "That is what brought you here." "Stage two?" " Transition." "Transition to what?" "Stage three." "Come inside, why don't you?" "And I will explain everything." "Welcome, Rosalinda, to the operational heart of the Princess Protection Program, a top-secret agency funded by the world's royal families." "We are actively providing protection to 29 princesses, all of whom have been threatened in one way or another." "(machinery BEEPlNG)" "Chloe, may I?" "Of course, Director." "director:" "This is Princess Chandra." "Last January, Major Mason rescued her from a politically-motivated coup." "We have placed her where no one will find her." "(tapping ON KEYBOARD)" "Let's just say she's a little farther north than she's used to." "She is freezing!" "Probably." "But she's safe." "Let's take a walk, shall we?" "Please." "Chloe, report." ""Princess 383 has had a successful extraction." ""She arrives at 01 00 hours." ""Princess 299 is still rejecting all attempts at transformation." ""And princess 1 07 is in need of our services."" "ROSALlNDA:" "What about me?" "Where are you sending me?" "Nowhere yet." "First you must go through stage three, transformation." "First, we start with the hair and then the wardrobe, until you are unrecognizable as princesses." "(greeting in foreign LANGUAGE)" "No!" "Stop!" "I do not know any of you people." "I want to speak with Major Mason." "I only trust Major Mason." "Is everything all right?" "Take me back to my country." "Princess, I'm sorry, but General Kane has taken control of your country and assumed command of its government." "But I must go back." "And you will." "As soon as we find a legal way to remove him." "In the meantime, you have to let us protect you." "But what about my mother?" "Who's protecting my mother?" "You are." "As long as you're in Princess Protection, your mom will be safe." "Please." "General Kane is hoping you'll contact her so he'll know where to find you." "What if he does find me?" "He'll make an example of you by sending you to prison or a work farm." "And Costa Luna will become part of his own personal kingdom, with its true royal family nothing but a memory." "Bottom line, if you care about your country, and your mom's safety, nobody can know who you really are." "You may proceed." "director:" "Good work." "From now on, you are no longer princess." "You are now Rosie Gonzalez, an average American girl." "What happens now?" "Stage four." "Relocation." "Where?" "Somewhere where General Kane will never think of looking for the Princess of Costa Luna." "JOE:" "Welcome to Louisiana, Rosie." "(CAR DOOR SLAMS)" "(GASPS)" "JOE:" "Over here." "Welcome to your new home." "For a while, at least." "Here, let me get the door." "(ALL chattering)" "Here you go, sweetie." "Thanks, Helen." "Hey, looks like someone's back home again." "CARTER:" "See you tomorrow!" "Dad?" "Dad?" "Hello." "Hey." "Who are you?" "Rosa..." "Rosie." "Are you sure?" "'Cause you don't seem sure." "Rosie." "I'm sure." "Okay." "So, what are you doing here?" "Oh, Major Mason gave me this room." "He did, huh?" "Yes, he's been very lovely." "Lovely?" "Of course, the suite is much smaller than I'm used to, but it will feel much larger once I have that extra bed removed." "It's not extra, it's mine." "Will you excuse me for a second?" "Yes." "You are excused." "(DOOR SLAMS)" "JOE:" "Hey, pal!" "(SCOFFlNG) Don't "pal" me." "You..." "You met Rosie?" "Yeah." "Who is she and why is she in my room?" "Well, I had to bring her here." "The director didn't give me a choice." "Okay." "Just, you know, a normal dad would go to a foreign country on a secret mission and bring his daughter back a T-shirt, not a person." "You should have warned me." "Carter, I didn't have a choice." "She doesn't trust anybody but me." "Yeah, I know the feeling." "Hey, what I do is complicated." "But if I thought for one second it would hurt our family..." "Dad, I get it." "So, you're in?" "Do I have a choice?" "Good, 'cause I'm gonna need your help." "She needs to stay here for a while, undetected." "And in order for that to happen, she has to blend in as a normal American teenager." "Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen, Dad." "She's a princess." "Fine." "Who do I say she is?" "Your cousin." "(SCOFFS)" "Carter, thank you." "Now, if we do our job right, she'll be out of here and back to her own country in no time." "Okay, so by Tuesday?" "lt'll be soon." "I promise." "Still you and me, pal?" "No." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "(giggling) No." "No." "No." "ls that right?" "You're gonna go..." "No!" "...in the water if you don't say yes." "Put me down." "Put me down." "All right." "You give me a headache." "Be nice." "Mmm-hmm." "(DOOR OPENS)" "You have made other sleeping arrangements?" "Look, the room is not yours." "It's ours." "We share it." "Share?" "Share." "I know that's probably a foreign concept for a princess, but what it means is that you get one side of the room and I get the other." "So stay on your side." "(SLAMS)" "CARTER:" "I don't want that." "JOE:" "That's good." "So I thought princesses had designer clothes and stuff." "Well, she had to leave all that behind." "But I was thinking you could, you know, loan her some of your stuff." "(SCOFFS)" "Yeah, sure." "Why not?" "Thank you." "Now, go try again." "I will after this hand." "No, now." "And don't look at my cards." "(sighs)" "(DOOR OPENS)" "All right, the kitchen's closing." "Last chance to eat something." "No, thank you." "I wish to sleep." "Okay." "You may help me prepare for bed." "I "may"?" "Yes." "I need a nightgown." "Preferably silk, preferably pink." "Pink silk." "Let me see what I've got." "Here." "(speaking in spanish)" "Huh?" "May I use your restroom?" "Yeah, upstairs, first door on the right." "(THANKlNG in spanish)" "Okay, whatever." "(sighs)" "(SCREAMS)" "What happened?" "Come on!" "Do they not have lizards where you're from?" "Maybe, but I never see them." "That is why we have Henry." "You have a royal reptile wrangler?" "Yes." "And you should get one, too." "Good night." "She's gonna be okay." "No." "She's gonna be a royal pain." "(DOOR opening)" "Good morning." "Hey." "JOE:" "Hey." "Juice?" "Yeah." "All right." "There you go." "Coffee done?" "Good." "Don't be shy, Rosie." "Grab whatever looks good." "(CAR HORN honking)" "Bus is here." "Sure you don't want a ride?" "Yeah, I'll be fine." "You coming?" "Where are we going?" "School." "You're 1 6." "You go to school." "School." "Of course." "Goodbye." "Morning, honey." "Hey, Helen." "HELEN:" "Whoa!" "Who's this, now?" "That's just my cousin." "You don't say." "Hello." "Well, aren't you a cutie?" "I am Rosie." "And I am late." "Go ahead and grab a seat, quick as you can." "(kids chattering)" "(engine revving)" "(machinery BEEPlNG)" "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "Call attempted." "Scrambling signal now." "PPP link established." "This is the director." "What is your situation report?" "Princess 379 is in position." "Stage four is complete." "She's safe, then?" "That's affirmative, absolutely safe." "The girl can't help it" "ED: (IN BRITISH ACCENT) Could this be the queen?" "Obviously not, Ed." "Maybe this is the queen." "Well, technically, no." "Not yet, anyway." "Nice." "Honest." "I like it." "I'm Ed, by the way." "And you're..." "Rosie." "Rosie." "I'm making a documentary." "Listen, "The rocky path from humble peasant" ""to homecoming queen."" "The queen of homecoming?" "What is this homecoming?" "You don't..." "You've never heard of homecoming?" "No." "We have no such thing where I am from." "Really?" "Where's that?" "Oh, um..." "That's from Iowa." "She's..." "What are you doing?" "I'm going to school." "Bye, guys." "Yes, and you're supposed to act like a normal American girl." "You're supposed to blend in." "I'm trying." "Well, try harder." "There she is, Princess Carter." "Sit down." "ED:" "Bossy, bossy." "Sit." "I like bossy." "Excuse me, may I have this seat?" "I'm sorry, I think it's school property." "(ALL laughing)" "(BOTH EXCLAlMlNG)" "Yeah, sure." "ROSALlNDA:" "Thank you very much." "What?" "She's hot." "(BELL rings)" "(greeting in FRENCH)" "(CLASS greeting in FRENCH)" "(speaking FRENCH)" "(exclaims)" "This must be our new student, Carter Mason's cousin." "(speaking FRENCH)" "Where are you, my little princesa?" "KANE:" "Ah!" "Sophia." "Thank you for joining me." "Any news from Rosalinda?" "No." "And there will never be." "Now, now, now, now." "We must not be so negative." "Perhaps..." "Perhaps we should think happy thoughts." "Shall I begin?" "I am picturing a dashing young general." "(LAUGHS)" "And he is..." "He's sitting on a throne." "Royal subjects shower him with adoration." "And what do you know?" "They have crowned him their king!" "(KANE laughing)" "You will never be the king of Costa Luna, not as long as I'm alive." "You are ruining my happy thoughts." "Take her away." "What you see is what you get When you're looking at me" "I'm gonna tell it like it is Most definitely" "I can tell by the way you look me in the eyes" "That you're not like the other guys" "girl:" "Hey, no cutting!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Hey!" "Back of the line." "Pardon?" "That's the rules." "No cuts." "Of course." "Then I will not cuts." "Hey, Rosie, come on up with me." "(WOMAN speaking spanish)" "(speaking spanish)" "Well?" "You gotta pick something." "Oh!" "(speaking spanish)" "Mystery meat." "Then I will have one of those." "What is it?" "A hamburger?" "(THANKlNG in spanish)" "Next." "(SINGING) Am I missing something here?" "Got to say the signs are clear as mud" "True confession." "Are you gonna eat that nasty food?" "When I laugh I taste the tears" "Sometimes I wish I'd just disappear" "I'm so confused, misunderstood" "I can't be free" "Is it just me who feels this way?" "Trying to be where I am So out of place" "Can't I just wait to see what's right?" "'Cause it looks like we're all just flying blind" "Check her out." "Who does she think she is?" "I know." "She thinks she's Carter's cousin." "Ow!" "Oh, was that your leg?" "I'm sorry." "She may be a loser like her cousin, but she's dangerous." "Really?" "Why?" "Are you serious?" "Look at her." "I know." "Totally love the hair." "(kicking)" "Ow!" "What are you doing?" "Eating a hamburger." "Have you ever tried one?" "Yes." "And fyi, they have hamburgers in Iowa." "Oh!" "Right." "You're supposed to be blending in." "I am blending." "Speaking fluent French in class?" "And eating hamburger like you're having tea with the Queen?" "Well, how else should it be eaten?" "Like this." "The works." "There you go." "Mmm-hmm." "Stop." "Now." "Like this?" "It's perfect." "Can I have your attention, please?" "I have an announcement to make." "Can we sit down and settle down, please?" "On Monday, we'll be taking nominations for the homecoming court." "(girls cheering)" "These nominees must be girls of exemplary character." "Kind, intelligent, honest, charitable members of the Lake Monroe community." "Now, the three girls with the most votes will become your homecoming princesses." "(ALL cheering)" "There's more, there's more." "On Friday night, at our annual dance, one of these lucky girls will be crowned your homecoming queen of Lake Monroe High." "BOY:" "Yeah!" "BURKLE:" "Thank you." "You vote for royalty here?" "We're a democracy." "We're into voting." "So then, anyone can be a princess?" "Even you?" "Theoretically." "Excuse me, everyone." "May I have your attention?" "What are you doing?" "Sit down!" "No, no." "I would like to nominate my cousin, Carter Mason, to be your queen." "I think that she would make an excellent ruler." "(SPARSE LAUGHTER)" "BOY 1 : (WHOOPS) Carter?" "BOY 2:" "Yeah, right." "Carter." "Carter!" "girl:" "Carter?" "That's hilarious." "Was that for real?" "Wow!" "ED:" "Oh, man." "Looks like I'm the queen." "ROSALlNDA:" "Carter!" "Carter!" "Leave me alone." "I order you to stop." "You order me?" "You order me." "I order you to take a long walk off a short pier." "You cannot order me to do anything." "Wanna bet?" "You're in my kingdom now." "Okay, hey, hey, hey." "Whoa, whoa." "Whoa, what's going on?" "Dad, she can't do it." "She can't act normal." "I am normal." "Really?" "Okay." "So, a normal person who has never seen a hamburger before can order one in six languages?" "Really?" "You did that?" "I always speak to my staff in their native tongue." "They're not your staff." "They're lunch ladies, okay?" "Dad, can't you see that this isn't gonna work?" "Carter, it's gonna work, okay?" "We just have to give it a little time." "(CARTER GRUNTS)" "It'll work." "(crying)" "MAN ON RADIO:" "It's gonna be a scorcher again today..." "Hey, Ernie." "Hi, Carter." "Hello." "Oh, great." "Good morning, Carter." "What are you doing?" "Chores." "Chores?" "I do not understand." "No, of course not." "Perhaps I could learn this "chores." You could teach me." "You know, that's the best idea you've had." "What must I do?" "We'll start you off easy." "Inventory." "lnventory?" "Counting." "You count what's in here, and put it in here." "Have fun." "Oh!" "And when you're done, there's a whole other shelf, too." "One." "Everything okay?" "Yeah." "Just peachy." "You got the bow?" "Uh-huh." "Stay above that line." "What line?" "Right there." "Okay." "(CLATTERlNG)" "Carter, what's Rosie doing in the bait shop?" "Chores." "(ROSALlNDA SCREAMS)" "Dad." "JOE:" "Rosie!" "CARTER:" "Are you okay?" "I'm all right." "I think I need to bathe." "Carter, why don't you go on in and clean this up, okay?" "Why me?" "She's the one who did it." "Come on, pal." "I'll help you." "All right, it..." "It's not funny." "(giggling) Yes." "Come on." "You know it's a little funny." "All right." "Here." "Go." "You wanna laugh, too." "No, I don't wanna laugh." "Yes, you do." "This is serious." "Come on." "What do you want for dinner tonight?" "Pizza." "Pizza?" "We had pizza last night." "How about..." "How about burgers?" "How about this?" "Pizza and burgers." "Pizza and burgers." "Yeah." "I wanna do both." "One as an appetizer, or just together?" "I don't know." "I didn't know we still had all that stuff." "What's all this?" "A proper dinner." "To thank you for helping me clean up the mess that I made in your shop of bugs." "It's bait." "I'm aware." "Okay." "Here." "Let me." "No, no." "Thank you, but tonight, I serve you." "Well, I'm not gonna say no to that." "It is for you." "For me?" "Mmm-hmm." "To wear." "Okay." "Fine." "(SNlCKERS)" "Come on, Carter." "So, you cook?" "I thought you had servants for that." "Actually, my mother grew up a peasant." "(MOUTHlNG)" "So she taught me many family recipes." "(speaking spanish)" "Wow!" "Yeah, that sounds kind of fancy." "Why don't we just order pizza?" "No, it's chicken and rice." "Fantastic." "Bring it on, Rosie." "(JOE CHUCKLES)" "You know, I haven't had a real home-cooked meal since..." "Forever." "Right." "Let's dig in!" "How do you like it?" "That..." "That is really, really good." "Gee, I had no idea you can cook." "Thank you." "This is terrific." "You're wonderful." "Thank you." "Would you like a roll?" "You made rolls, too?" "ROSALlNDA:" "Yes." "I had no idea." "Yes." "Wow!" "Must be nice to play peasant for a day." "Would you excuse me?" "You do not know me, Carter." "What's the big deal?" "You'll be back with your servants and your personal chef and private tutors soon enough." "How much did your father tell you about me?" "Other than the obvious, I think we're on a need-to-know basis." "I think you need to know that my name is Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore," "and I am a royal princess." "(SCOFFS) No kidding." "I am from a small island nation called Costa Luna." "Never heard of it." "lt is not on most maps." "It is very small, very unimportant to large countries, but very important to me." "When my father died, he left Costa Luna to me." "You don't have to tell me..." "One month before my coronation, our palace was attacked." "Your father was very brave." "He risked his life for you, I know." "That's his job." "He rescues poor, oppressed princesses." "Did he tell you we had to leave my mother behind?" "The man who invaded Costa Luna now holds her as a hostage." "I didn't know." "They told me my becoming Rosie Gonzalez was the only way to keep her safe." "Stop." "It's okay." "Carter, whatever I did to make you dislike me, I am truly sorry." "I will try to blend in." "I will try to be from Iowa." "It is the only way to save my mother's life." "Let's just start over." "I would like that." "But you need to lighten up on this princess stuff." "It's really annoying." "Absolutely." "Please, I only want to be this typical American teenager." "You know what?" "I think we can arrange that." "I love this place!" "What is it?" "It's a bowling alley." "That's bowling." "Just do what I do and don't draw any attention to yourself, please." "Right." "Thank you." "Sure." "Carter!" "How you doing?" "Hi, Ed." "ED:" "Hi." "How you doing, Rosie?" "I'm well, thank you." "What'll it be?" "Bowling, please." "(CHUCKLES) No kidding." "Five-and-a-half coming up." "Thank you." "Sure." "What size?" "Excuse me?" "Your feet." "What size?" "(stammering)" "I do not know." "All of my shoes are made for me." "There's a shock." "Just get her some shoes." "Okay." "Your Highness." "ROSALlNDA:" "Why, thank you, Edward." "It's Edwin, actually." "Edwin." "That is a wonderful name." "Thank you." "It's been a pleasure serving you, milady." "All right." "Thank you, Romeo." "Okay." "You're not blending in." "Pick a ball." "Did you see that?" "Yeah." "Nobody ever does that for us." "They do now." "(CHELSEA CLEARS THROAT)" "Your shoe's untied." "Don't trip." "DONNY:" "Oh!" "Careful there." "Donny, you don't have to carry that for her." "She can do it herself like a normal person." "So I'll just take this." "DONNY:" "Whatever you say..." "Carter." "Right." "So, Donny is your boyfriend?" "What?" "No, no." "He's just a friend." "ROSALlNDA:" "But he is very special to you." "I see the way you look at him." "It's the same way that Ed looks at you." "Okay, you're obviously not from here, so just bowl." "You first." "How do I win?" "You win by knocking down those white pins." "Okay, I'm ready." "What?" "You may fire at the target." "You may fire it yourself." "(pins CLATTERlNG)" "Impossible." "Nice shot, Rosie!" "You done already, Carter?" "Yeah." "Our lane's getting a little crowded." "You don't really like your cousin, do you?" "No, it's..." "It's just..." "She can be sometimes, you know, a..." "Princess." "She could win it all." "She is getting really popular." "The vote is on Monday." "We can't let her get more popular than we are." "There's only one thing to do in a situation like this." "Excuse me!" "Excuse me!" "Roe!" "Excuse me!" "Excuse me!" "Roe." "You are such a natural." "Will you show us how to bowl like that?" "Of course." "But my name is Rosie." "Oh!" "Roe's our nickname we gave you." "We give all of our friends nicknames." "She's Chels." "And she's Brookie and you're Roe." "You're one of us now." "ROSALlNDA:" "Carter?" "CARTER:" "What?" "Why do you care so much for this boy Donny?" "Who says I care for him?" "Fine." "I've been totally in love with him since, like, the third grade, when he kissed me under the basketball hoop." "ls that what you want to hear?" "He is quite beautiful." "Much like a prince." "I wonder if he is beautiful on the inside as well." "Shall we bowl again tomorrow?" "I can't." "I'm working at the bait shack." "I've never worked before." "Is this normal?" "Yes." "Lots of kids have jobs." "Then I will help you." "You can't." "Why not?" "Because it's mine." "You can't have everything that's mine!" "Well, just..." "Want a job so bad?" "Just go get one yourself." "All right." "Good night, Carter." "Thank you for giving me this job, Chelsea." "No prob, Roe." "Daddy owns, like, 1 7 Udderlys all over the South." "He's the King." "Your father is a king?" "Of frozen yogurt." "One more thing." "You have to wear this." "(TlNKLlNG)" "So these are the frozen yogurt machines." "You just pull the lever and when it comes out you just put a little swirly on top and you're good to go, okay?" "Swirly?" "This is gonna be great." "And all your friends will be here to support you." "We all want you to succeed at your first job." "Thank you so much." "Uh-huh." "(BOTH LAUGH NASTlLY)" "Ed!" "ED:" "Here she is, folks, a future homecoming princess of Lake Monroe, Louisiana." "Who is this natural beauty, you ask?" "Will you go away?" "I'm working." "This is Carter Mason." "Secret identity?" "Bait Girl." "So confident of her innate royalty, she is completely unafraid to handle whatever disgusting creature..." "Hey!" "Isn't that..." "Not on my camera, please." "Then turn it off." "No." "Today's my last day to get the "before" footage." "The princess vote is tomorrow." "Well, then go shoot Chelsea or Brooke." "Nah." "I've got tons of them already." "They pay me to film them." "ls that why you're doing this?" "'Cause of the money?" "Absolutely." "I'm the only senior guy in Lake Monroe who doesn't have a car." "Figures." "You really hate this whole princess thing, don't you?" "I don't hate it exactly." "I just think it's shallow." "Girls like Chelsea and Brooke, all they care about is shoes." "Like wearing the right clothes makes them superior." "I just want to do something more important with my life," "like my dad." "Yeah, yeah, he does sell some sick bait." "Right." "So, speaking of princesses, where's Rosie?" "How should I know?" "(CELL PHONE ringing)" "I think I just found her." "girl 1 :" "Hey, I've been waiting here for, like, 1 0 minutes." "BOY 1 :" "I haven't got all day!" "ROSALlNDA:" "Just a second." "(PEOPLE grumbling)" "Hold on." "Oh, no!" "girl 2:" "It's not brain science!" "BOY 2:" "Come on, what are they paying you for?" "girl 2:" "I've been waiting for, like, ever!" "Come on, Chels." "She's dying in there." "Help her out." "You're absolutely right." "Brookie, we should go in there." "Oh, Chels." "If only our pedicures were dry." "Fine." "Bull, will you do me a huge favor?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "(whispering)" "(SOFTLY) Wait." "How do I know it's the right one?" "It's big." "It's red." "Can't miss it." "BOY 3:" "I can't believe it." "This is ridiculous!" "BOY 4:" "I want my yogurt, okay?" "girl 3:" "You need some help, or what?" "BOY 4:" "Hello?" "girl 3:" "I have to go!" "(machinery powering UP)" "(gasping)" "Oh, no!" "(PEOPLE SQUEALlNG)" "(SCREAMS)" "(PEOPLE laughing)" "What are you doing?" "Are you okay?" "Come here, Rosie." "You said to get a job." "Not this one!" "This job's for losers." "Trust me, I've had this job." "The bait shop is a step up." "(PEOPLE chattering)" "Hey, check it out." "What is happening?" "CARTER:" "Chelsea set you up." "She invited all those people to come watch you make a fool of yourself." "Carter, it's okay." "I am not a fool." "And she cannot make something out of me that I am not." "Rosie, we have to do something." "I will turn the other cheek, because that is what princesses do." "Your father, the King of Yogurts, would be very disappointed in you." "(ALL gasping)" "Yeah, well, I'm not a princess." "(EXCLAlMlNG in disgust)" "(ALL laughing)" "She can't be a princess!" "Don't freak, but she kind of can." "I've just been texted, like, 1 0 times." "Everybody thinks she's pretty cool." "Tomorrow, when the whole school votes for three princesses, she could be one of them." "And if she gets enough votes..." "Don't say it." "...she could become queen." "No, I'm the queen!" "It's my destiny!" "(ALL murmuring)" "That's kind of iffy now." "I'd rather eat carbs than see her wearing my crown." "We have to stop her." "How?" "If she never becomes a princess, she can't be the queen, right?" "I'm not sure where you're going here." "Grab your cell." "We've got a whole lot of texting to do." "So, it's a skill that most Americans master in, like, the third grade," "but it's never too late to learn." "I am ready to try." "Good luck." "(BURPS)" "(CARTER LAUGHS)" "Nice." "Okay, next we'll work on slouching, eye-rolling and talking back to my dad." "If Mr. Elegante could see me right now, he would be so mad at me." "Who's Mr. Elegante?" "My royal dress designer." "You're kidding, right?" "No." "He is a close family friend." "If there were ever an emergency, he would be the first I would call." "Must be nice to be a queen." "Actually, it's not all about the dresses and crowns, Carter." "My mother told me that my father never called himself king." "To our people, he was father, brother and friend." "I hope to be like him when I am Queen of Costa Luna." "Father, brother..." "(laughing) No!" "I want to make a difference." "To do something more important with your life?" "Yes." "You know, you're different than I thought a princess would be." "I hope that is a good thing." "Yeah, it is." "Thank you for helping me today." "A princess is never sure who her true friend is." "Today, I am sure." "Me, too." "(BURPlNG LOUDLY)" "I'll give myself this one and this one, for bravery and honor." "A thief has no honor." "Sophia!" "Come in, come in, come in." "We have a great deal to discuss." "Do you think it's too much?" "I want to look my best when I announce my engagement today." "Who could be so unfortunate as to become your bride?" "Well, as a matter of fact, she is standing right here in this room." "(laughing)" "That's ridiculous." "I will never marry you." "Ever." "(laughing) Of course you won't." "But Rosalinda will not know this." "She will see the announcement, assume you are doing it to protect her, and come racing back to her mother's side just in time to join you in exile." "The people of Costa Luna will never accept that." "The same was said for the people of Costa Estrella 20 years ago, and look what happened." "Hmm." "Take her back to her cell." "Oh, and bring me my hair and makeup team." "We must touch up this gray before I go on camera." "Yeah." "(SHOUTS in pain)" "Sorry." "CARTER:" "Wait, where's everyone going?" "BURKLE:" "Good morning, students." "The votes for your three homecoming..." "ROSALlNDA:" "We must hurry, Carter." "CARTER:" "Okay, you're way too into this princess thing." "BURKLE:" "Now, I'd like to announce the winners." "And your princesses are Chelsea Barnes!" "(ALL cheering)" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Carter Mason!" "(ALL cheering)" ""Carter Mason."" "And your third and final princess is" "Rosie Gonzalez!" "(ALL cheering)" "Thank you." "Thank you." "What happened?" "I don't know!" "We texted everyone in the school." "They were supposed to vote for Carter instead of Rosie, not Carter and Rosie." "This is all your fault." "How is it my fault?" "If you were more popular, you'd be the princess, not her." "I am popular!" "This is not good, okay?" "Me being a princess is not normal." "Hey, there." "Hey, Rosie, can I talk to you?" "Me?" "Her?" "Yeah." "So, you know there's the homecoming dance and everything, and..." "Will you go to the dance with me, Rosie?" "Me?" "Her?" "Yeah." "I want you to be my date for the dance." "Donny, that is very kind of you, but no." "Will you excuse me?" "Uh..." "Sure." "That was the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me." "And I've been humiliated a lot." "What was I thinking?" "A guy like Donny would never go out with me." "Then he is not worthy of you." "Yeah, you can say that 'cause you're all high and royal." "But I'm just a girl who sells bait." "No." "You are so much more." "You are a princess now." "Yeah." "Trust me, I am not a princess." "Yes, you are." "You just do not feel like one yet." "When I came here, you taught me how to act normal, not royal." "Now it is my turn to teach you." "You think that being a princess is superficial." "Yeah, I guess." "That it is about what you wear, and how you look." "Well, it is a little bit about how you look." "But more importantly, it is about what you have to offer the world and who you are inside." "Come on, Carter." "Let's go find your inner princess." "(ONE AND THE SAME playing)" "You come from here I come from there" "You rock out in your room I'd like a world premiere" "We're more alike than anybody could ever tell" "Ever tell" "Friday we're cool Monday we're freaks" "Sometimes we rule Sometimes we can't even speak" "But we kick it up Let loose and LOL" "LOL" "It may seem cliched for me to want to say that you're not alone" "Not alone" "And you can call me uncool But it's a simple fact I got your back" "Yeah, yeah, yeah" "'Cause we're one and the same" "We're anything but ordinary" "One and the same" "I think we're almost legendary" "You and me, the perfect team" "Chasing down the dream" "We're one and the same" "(inaudible)" "One and the same" "We're anything but ordinary" "One and the same" "I think we're almost legendary" "You and me, the perfect team" "Shaking up the scene" "We're one and the same" "You're just so good with everybody." "Kids, old people, you're probably even good with dogs." "That is true." "You're so much more generous than I thought you'd be." "It is a princess's job to help people." "I guess I never really thought about what it really means to be a princess." "(BOTH giggling)" "Like this." "I can't believe you actually have to do this." "Oh, no, you don't." "Wait, then, why am I doing it?" "(laughing) Because it is funny." "What?" "I hate you!" "You do?" "No, no, no." "No." "No, I didn't mean it that way." "I didn't mean "l hate you" I hate you." "I meant "l hate you," like, you're my best friend." "Oh!" "Well, then, I hate you, too." "And that dress is ugly." "lt is?" "No!" "It is beautiful." "And so are you." "Look." "You're becoming a princess on the inside." "And now you look like one, too." "Excuse me, I have this lame reading assignment for Spanish class." "Do you think that you have something that's really easy with lots of pictures?" "Oh!" "Cool." ""Princess Rosalinda"?" "No way!" "(CELL PHONE ringing)" "It's Mason." "What's going on?" "DIRECTOR:" "General Kane's announcement of his engagement to dona Sophia Montoya has popped up in several tabloid magazines." "The story is contained so far, but I would be lying to say I was not concerned." "She'd never agree to marry him." "I was not suggesting she would, Major." "General Kane's doing this to draw Rosalinda out." "He knows she won't allow her mother to be forced into marriage." "Absolutely." "So, it is imperative that we keep this from Rosalinda." "Yes, ma'am." "I agree." "Major, has she made any enemies?" "Anyone who might want to expose her identity?" "Not that I know of." "Let's move that throne here." "No." "No, actually, there." "Oh, I know." "Up there." "And let's hang some lights directly on it." "That might be too harsh on my skin tone." "We should hire a lighting designer." "The budget's gone, Chelsea." "What you see is what you get." "Okay, okay." "I know!" "A follow-spot just on me." "Maybe light pink, or golden like the sun." "It's great to be queen." "You're not queen yet." "Carter could win," "or Rosie." "Can it, Muffy." "My name's Margaret." "Not anymore." "Hey, Chels." "Don't call me that." "You lost that right when you lost your princess crown to Bait Girl and her strangely formal cousin." "Well, what if we could get Rosie to drop out of homecoming altogether?" "She would never do that." "She might." "She's not who she says she is." "She's Princesa Rosalinda." "CHELSEA:" "It's in Spanish." "What does the article say?" "I'm not sure." "What?" "I'm pretty, not smart." "Okay, let me try." "It's about Rosie and her mom." "One of them has fled the country and one of them is in prison or a paper bag." "I get those two mixed up." "No biggie." "Good work, Brookie." "Thanks, Chels." "CHELSEA:" "I have the perfect plan." "JOE:" "Hey, girls." "Hi, Mr. Mason." "Is Rosie home?" "Maybe." "What's up?" "Up?" "Well, we're planning a little princess surprise for Carter." "To congratulate her." "Yeah." "It was Rosie's idea." "She's in her room." "Go on in." "(CHUCKLES)" "(speaking spanish)" "I've never heard of Costa Luna." "Have you, Brookie?" "No, Chels." "I do not know what you are talking about." "We know all about you and your mother." "And the paper bag." "What?" "Poor Princess Rosalinda." "Did you hear she's in hiding?" "You do not understand." "I understand that you lied to us." "Only to protect my mother." "From the paper bag?" "No." "Look, I will give you a reward for keeping my secret." "We know you will." "You do?" "And we already have it picked out." "I don't understand." "Yeah, me either." "You're gonna turn in your crown, Princess." "You're going to tell everyone that there is, and only will be, one true homecoming queen, and that's me." "That's good." "Fine." "You may take my crown, but you will not take Carter's." "She's no threat to you, Chelsea." "Fine." "Let Bait Girl play princess for one night." "She just won't look like one." "(HONKS)" "(CHELSEA laughing)" "CHELSEA:" "Have fun at the dance!" "(BOTH laughing)" "(CAR HORN honking)" "Look at what Chelsea and Brooke..." "What's wrong?" "I have to leave, Carter." "Leave?" "Leave where?" "Back to my country." "(sighs)" "General Kane is forcing my mother into marriage." "Father's never gonna let you go back." "He'll never know." "Yeah, but I know." "And I'm not gonna let you go back, either." "Carter, you have to stay out of this." "I have a duty to my people." "And this is something that you'll never understand." "I've loved living here in Louisiana." "And I wish my life could be like this every day." "But this is not reality." "I mean, you think my life as a princess is some fairy tale?" "This here is a fairy tale!" "And I cannot hide here anymore." "Soon I will be Queen of Costa Luna." "My country needs me." "You're right." "They do need you." "They need you to lead them, and to protect them." "And that's something you can't do from jail, which is exactly where you'll end up if you go back to Costa Luna." "No way am I letting this happen." "(CELL PHONE ringing)" "Hola, this is Elegante." "Who is this?" "That's not important." "All that matters is I'm a friend of Princess Rosalinda, and she's about to make a very big mistake." "My princesa?" "What mistake is this?" "CARTER:" "She wants to come home." "No, no, no, no, no, she must not." "(speaking spanish)" "It's too dangerous." "I know." "But I have a plan." "And I'm gonna need you to listen very carefully." "I will do anything for the Princesa." "Anything." "Okay, to start with, I'm gonna need two dresses." "You okay?" "I'm going to miss this place." "I'm going to miss you, Carter." "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to miss you, too." "Rosie, can you do me a big favor before you go?" "Anything." "You said it is a princess' job to help others." "It is." "Well, the dance is on Friday night, and there's some people that I want to help." "I want to make this night special for them, for all of us." "Will you please stay until then?" "For them, please." "(inaudible)" "MARGARET:" "That's it, keep your chin up." "JOE:" "What in the..." "MARGARET:" "Okay, stay there, that's perfect." "Very good." "Morning, Dad." "Morning." "What the..." "What are you girls up to?" "Just having some friends over from school." "Is that okay?" "Yeah, yeah." "It's fine." "What's in the box?" "Homecoming stuff." "No biggie." "Hmm." "KANE:" "And you are sure about this homecoming dance, Senor Elegante?" "ELEGANTE:" "Absolutely." "I feel, in one way, I'm betraying my queen, but I thought you should know, General." "It's for the good of Costa Luna." "You did the right thing by coming to me, senor." "Fuel the jet!" "Tell the pilot we will be flying to Louisiana." "(speaking spanish)" "(laughing)" "A lovely color." "Lovely indeed." "Caribbean blue, General." "To complement Princess Rosalinda's skin tone." "Well, back to work." "You have a dress to finish." "Two, actually." "Where did you get them?" "Well, you said to call Mr. Elegante if I had an emergency." "And I think that this is a fashion emergency." "Carter, you are brilliant." "This one is yours." "He says you look best in pink." "And this one is mine." "It's Caribbean blue." "(ROSALlNDA CHUCKLES)" "Thank you, Carter." "This is a night I'll always remember." "I hope so." "Are you guys ready?" "'Cause it's getting kind of late." "HELEN:" "Come on in, girls." "Helen's House of Beauty is open for business." "(ALL chattering)" "Okay." "Oh, this is a great color on you." "How do I look, Dad?" "I think we have a problem." "I may have to stop calling you "pal."" "(CELL PHONE ringing)" "All right, I gotta grab this." "You girls gonna be okay?" "Yeah, we'll be fine." "Go ahead." "You sure?" "Of course." "We're not kids." "All right." "Well, have a good time." "And be careful." "HELEN:" "Mason." "Helen." "All right, Your Highnesses." "Time's a-wasting." "The dance starts in 1 0 minutes." "Masks?" "No one said anything about masks." "(GRUNTS)" "Come on!" "(CAR LOCK CHlRPS)" "Hey!" "Hey!" "I'm stuck!" "Open the door, Donny." "Hello?" "Donny." "Donny!" "(CAR LOCK CHlRPS)" "(SCREAMS)" "(WHlMPERlNG)" "(CHELSEA sputtering)" "ED:" "Come here, come here." "(WHlMPERlNG)" "You okay?" "(exclaims) Get off!" "(GRUNTS)" "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "Okay, freshman, I think I can take it from here." "No." "Carter, what's the problem?" "I thought we had, you know, something." "Actually, we don't." "Okay, what's up?" "Isn't this what you've been waiting for since, like, third grade?" "Before I put on this dress, you couldn't even remember my name." "I might be a princess tonight, but I'll always be Bait Girl." "And I'm proud of that." "Carter, you're making a big mistake." "No, Donny." "I don't think I am." "(sighs CONTENTEDLY)" "You deserve better than him, Carter." "I know." "Too bad it took this long to realize it." "Guys!" "(GRUNTlNG)" "What happened to you?" "Shut up and fix me." "Did you get me a crown?" "Who cares?" "In a few minutes, it won't matter anyways." "I'll be named queen and this will all be over." "I thought we were in this together." "We are." "Lip gloss." "No." "What?" "I said no." "You can't use my lip gloss anymore." "But I have to look pretty." "I'm a princess." "Yeah, a terrible one." "A princess is supposed to be a girl of exemplary character, a role model." "But you, you're not even kind, honest or charitable in any way." "You're not even nice." "I don't think I want to be your friend anymore." "Brookie..." "Don't call me that." "Carter, Rosie, I just wanted to thank you for tonight." "I never thought I could look beautiful." "Or feel beautiful, for that matter." "Margaret, you are beautiful." "(speaking spanish)" "And thanks for not calling me Muffy." "No problem." "(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)" "I love this song!" "Let's go dance!" "Well, why don't you two go ahead?" "Be princesses." "Okay!" "There you are!" "Finally!" "You don't understand, miss." "I'm the..." "Security." "I know." "You're late." "And what is with the uniforms?" "No one's wearing berets this year." "Just stay out here and make sure no one gets in that dance, unless they're students from Lake Monroe." "Got it?" "Got it." "Enjoy your evening." "Okay, everybody, he's about to announce the winner." "Let's put on our masks." "(exclaims in exasperation)" "KANE:" "Princesses everywhere." "(sighs)" "Caribbean blue." "Beautiful indeed." "Come with me now, Princesa, and no harm will come to your friends." "Can I have your attention, please?" "I hold here in my hand the name of our 2008 Lake Monroe Homecoming Queen." "And the winner is" "Princess Rosie Gonzalez." "(cheering)" "Rosie, are you out there?" "(whistling)" "(APPLAUSE)" "Thank you." "Since I've been here, I've learned many wonderful things." "Most importantly," "I've learned about friendship and loyalty and trust." "And that those are not things that are just given, but things we must earn." "So I want to thank Carter Mason for teaching me these things." "And for being my friend." "Carter, where are you?" "(MUSIC PLA YING)" "That was so beautiful, Rosie." "Thank you." "But I need to find Carter." "Hold it right there, Princess." "My crown." "Hand it over." "Chelsea, please..." "You're not going anywhere until I get that crown." "No!" "(SCREAMS)" "Sorry." "I am so getting you back for this!" "ROSALlNDA:" "General Kane!" "Well, it appears as if everyone wants to be a princess." "Unfortunately, it is time for the masquerade to end." "What are you doing?" "The plan was working perfectly." "This was a very brave plan." "But this is my fight, not yours." "You don't have to go with them." "Enough!" "As the Princesa so eloquently pointed out, this is not your fight." "General Kane." "Good to see you again." "KANE:" "What is the meaning of this?" "You are interfering with official business of the sovereign land of Costa Luna." "Maybe this will fly in your country, but, here, it's called kidnapping." "We're turning you over to the international authorities." "Get him." "No, let me." "I'm going to enjoy this." "(CHUCKLES)" "Not so hot." "(sobbing)" "I can't believe you would do this for me." "That's what princesses do." "They do it for each other." "And you are truly a princess now, Carter Mason." "You rightfully deserve this." "Hold it!" "Nobody moves!" "Nobody goes anywhere." "I'll take that." "Let her go." "She needs it way more than I do." "All right." "Come on." "Hey, guard." "(GRUMBLlNG)" "You got him?" "Oh, I'm in so much trouble." "(sighs)" "What were you thinking, Carter?" "I was thinking I'd be perfect bait." "Get it?" "I'm Bait Girl." "Why didn't you just come to me?" "Dad, you would have never let me do it." "You're lucky I was here." "I knew you would be." "You're always there for me." "You rescue princesses." "That's what you do." "You and me, pal." "You and me, Dad." "archbishop:" "I present to you" "Queen Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore of Costa Luna!" "Long live Queen Rosie!" "Long live Queen Rosie!" "(shouting in spanish)" "(ALL shouting in spanish)" "(TWO WORLDS COLLIDE playing)" "You had your dreams, I had mine" "You had your fears, I was fine" "You showed me what I couldn't find" "When two different worlds collide" "When two different worlds collide" "Ladies, you're here." "Excellent." "Are you ready for your next assignment?" "I am." "Me, too." "But can we go somewhere a little bit warmer?" "My feet are still frozen from that walk through Helsinki." "Carter, you can be such a princess." "Something wrong with that?" "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "Door opening."