"***Gossip girl here-- your one and only source into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite." "Top story on my home page" "Serena Van Der Woodsen, serena van der woodsen, everybody's favorite "it" girl, has just returned from a mysterious absence." "You'll never believe what's on "gossip girl." "" Someone saw serena getting offa train at grand cen al." "Everyone knows serena...and everyone is talking." "blair, it's serena." "Serena?" "Serena?" "And B.'S boyfriend nate-- rumor has it-- he's always had a thing for serena." " But you're back now." " I didn't come back for you." "Look, blair's my best friend,and you're her boyfriend, and she loves you." "Why did she leave?" "Why did she return?" "Must be a lot of rumorswhy you're back." "Yeah, but none of themmention you." "He tries to take his own life,and you're worried it's gonna cost you, mom?" "You have no idea what it's been like." "The best friendand the boyfriend-- that's pretty classy, S." "And nate's friend chuck won't let serena forget about her past." "I'm trying to change." "I liked you better before." "And then there's dan, the outsider.Looks like his childhood crush has returned." "She doesn't know me.Nobody knows me.It's cool." " Uh, serena," " No.No, no, no, no, no." "um,do you know this young man?" "Oh, from last night." "You remember me?" "You'd really go outwith some guy you don't know?" "Well, he can't be worsethan the guys i do know." " Guess whose dad is cool." " It's a trick question." "yeah,'cause it can't be ours." ""Top ten forgotten bands of the '90s." "" Yeah, check outwho's number nine." "He's very proud." "Hey!" "Hey,way to be forgotten." "why is my daughtergoing to one of your concerts?" "Well, our kids were bound to meet.It's a small island." "Are you sure it's not some ploy,your using my daughter to get to menow that your wife left you?" "Serena and her mystery man made a surprise appearance at blair's kiss on the lips party." "serena's here?" "What is she doing here?" "She wasn't invited." "But serena wasn't the only one who made an impression... who's the newbie?" "Jenny made an impression on chuck." "Let's go and talksomewhere quieter." " Get off!" "Stop!" " Hey!" "That is my little sister!" "Don't you ever touch her again!" "Hey, your life is over, slut!" "She betternot show her face again." "I'm actually hopingshe will." "You think I got a shot at a second date?" "We'll talk about itin the cab." "And now that S.Is back, will the upper east side ever be the same?" "We're all just dying to see what happens next." "gossip.girl Season1 Episode02" "I bet you're wondering what gossip girl is doing up so early." "Truth is, I never went to bed." "Why waste precious time dreaming when waking life is so much better?" "I ain't looking is there really anything better than a lazy sunday?" "Re ading the paper in bed, sipping coff , scrambling an egg or two." "Yeah, right.We upper east siders don't do lazy." "Breakfast is brunch, and it comes with champagne, a dress code and a hundred of our closest friends...and enemies." "chuck's dad, bart bass, is hosting the annual brunch for his foundation." "Everyone is invited." "Well, not everyone." "Hey, you're up." "And you're checking up on me." "I'm okay.Really, I'm okay." "You know, I was okay when you asked me at the party and in the cab, when we got home, before and after I brushed my teeth." "Look, I just feel really stupid." "I mean, how could I have actually thought that chuck bass just wanted to talk to me?" "Because you trust people, which is normally a good thing." "Yeah, except when it involves chuck." "Yeah, pretty much." "So the real question is, uh, how are you?" "Me?" "Why wouldn't I be okay?" "You know, at the end of the night, with serena and the--the--the... was it really that bad?" "This is me." " So...good night." " Yeah.yeah." "Um, yeah, good night." "go!" "Walk her to the door.Something.Go!" "ok" "Whoa, whoa, stop, stop.Sir, stop, stop, stop." "Oh, I think I have brain damage." "You know what, dan?" "If you had brain damage, you wouldn't even know if you had brain damage." "No, let's go, please.Uh, wi--williamsburg." "no!" "H-hi." "so he waved?" "I wouldn't have taken him for a waver." "No, he was just trying to be funny." "Maybe he's shy." "Or he hates me." "No guy in the history of the world has ever hated you." "She probably thinks I hate her now." "I've waited my entire adolescent life for a date with this girl," "Serena Van Der Woodsen..." "you know, serena van der woodsen... and I decide to close the evening with a wave." " It was a nice wave." " At the end of a date?" "Come on, there's no such thing." "And you only get one shot with a girl like serena." "I got mine, and I blew it." "Which means you have nothing to lose." "no, nothing except my last shred of dignity." "Oh, no.I think that's gone." "You're right." "You know what?" "I'm just-- I'm gonna go talk to H." "I'm gonna apologize for the wave." "I'm gonna tell her how much I like her, and I'm gonna ask for a second shot." "No, I'm gonna get a second shot." " Yeah, you are." " Yeah." "Wait, wait, wait." "I love the plan, but, uh, you need a better outfit." "And maybe a shower." "whatever.It's probably for the best." "The last thing I need in my life is a new guy." "He was just so smart, though, and--and funny... it sounds like you like him." "And really nice." "God, blair was so mean to me last night." "I don't even know why.Whatever.I'm sure if we talk about it, we can work it out." "Hey, maybe I should go over there." "serena had better just stay away." "went***" " Thank you, dorota." " yeah, thanks." "We love sleeping at blair'S." "I don't want to see serena at school, and she better not show at brunch today." "You're really mad at serena." "Yeah, I hope you never get that mad at us." "Well, you would never do what serena did." " No, never." " Of course not." "I wonder if nate remembered brunch." "It would be so wrong for me to show up without my boyfriend whom I love, and who loves me." " Hello?" " Hi, sweetie." " Did I wake you?" " No, I'm up." "Well, get some strong coffee and jump in the shower, sleepyhead." "Chuck's dad's brunch for his foundation is today at the palace." "Oh, right.Of course." "nathaniel, keep it down." "Some of us are tryingto regain our strength." " Your dad's brunch is today." " Alarm's set for 9:00." "It's 10:00." "ladies, double-time." "Oh, unless...nathaniel..." "I'm good." "Actually, could you twobring some coffee when you get a chance?" "And some water..." "lots of water." "You want ice with that?" "Looks like you could use some." "That's enough, ladies." "And I'll be sureto tell my father just how committed you areto the hospitality industry." "That kid poppedyou pretty good, huh?" "Never mess with a guy's sister." "And if I knew his name,I'd hunt him down and kill him." "Why, 'cause youkill people now?" "You gonna strangle himwith your scarf?" "Don't mock the scarf, nathaniel.It's my signature." "I'm just saying, death by scarf--not that intimidating." "He sucker punched me.I told you." "Besides,better a broken nose than a broken heart." "What?" "I didn't even talkto serena last night." "Who said anythingabout serena?" "do I look okay?" "Definitelysecond-shot material." "All right,then I'm gonna go." "Oh, um, and about what happened,you know, with, uh, chuck?" "If you wanna,like, talk to someone... n-not your brother--just let me know." " Okay." " Yeah, I'll...all right." "Hey, uh, wait." "Actually, there is someoneI wanna talk to." "Hey, hey,where you guys going?" "I was gonna make waffles." " Sorry, dad." " Yeah, can'T." "But I wanna hearabout your date." "later." " And your party." " When we get back." "You guys misseda really great show, and I makereally good waffles." "palace hotel lobby." "Nate Archibald Hi.This is,uh, nate archibald calling from the bass suite." "I know you don't normally give out this information, but can you tell me what room the van der woodsensare in, please?" "Hey, blair.It's me." "Uh, I guessyou're still sleeping, but I'm gonna come over." "I think we need to talk." "Okay.Uh, see you soon.Bye." "it likookse the table's all set." "As soon as the guests arrive, we can start dishing." "Here's what's on the menu..." "Mom, did you borrowmy michel perrys?" "I can't find anything in here!" "Well, it might helpif you unpacked." "Look, you're home now.It's your life.You should start living it." "This is not life,this is a hotel-- which we're living in becauseyou decided you didn't like the color of the wallsin our real home." "Mom, I saidI'd go to this brunch.What more do you want from me?" "Sweetie, why are youbeing like this?" "You love parties.This is just not like you." "Maybe it is like me.Maybe youdon't know what I'm really like." "ok***" "so did you and dan have funat the concert last night?" "We, um, never made it." "We actually ended upat the kiss on the lips party." "Well,that must have pleased blair." "Blair?" "Actually,no, not that pleased, which is why I'm goingto talk to her." "Well just be back in time for brunch, okay?" "Mom." "Look, honey, I know how hardit is for you to be back, but the moreyou hide yourself away, the more people are gonna think you have something to hide." "Coming from someone who's keeping my brotherin an institution." "That's different." "I mean it.Don't be late." "wait!" "Thanks." "hey." "How you doing?" "Uh, I-I was in yesterday with serena." "How could I forget?" "Yeah, well, um,is she in?" "Just missed her, actually,but you're welcome to wait." "Okay, maybe I will.She--she probablywon't be that long, right?" "Once she went out and didn'tcome back for six months, but feel free to sit." "Over there." "Over thereis where I'll be." "hi, nate.It's great to see you." "Hi, mrs.Van der woodsen.Good to see you." "Oh, I'm just heading out." "Oh, is serena in?" "Oh, you just missed her,but I'll tell her you came by." "I'm sure she'll be happy to hear it." "Uh, I don't know about that." "Oh, what?" "Come on, serena loves you." "I mean, I think she's alwayshad a little crush on you." "Of course, you and blair are the perfect couple." "Is serena gonna be long?" "I could just wait." "Oh, well, dexter herecan take care of you.I'm just gonna step outfor a while." " Nate's gonna waitfor serena." " Great." "He can get in linebehind that guy." "I had a feelingyou'd be back." " Dan, is it?" " Humphrey.Yes." "It's nice to see you again,mrs.Van der woodsen." "I hope you've hada pleasant, uh... uh, 21 hourssince I last saw you." "Yes, it hasbeen very pleasant... until now." "Gentlemen." " Hey." " Hey." "Blair blair?" "Hey." "Serena Serena." "Hey, I got two bone-dry capsand audrey." "I musthave totally blanked on the partwhere I invited you over." "I-I called you." "Blair, it's sunday morning." "Coffee, croissants,"breakfast at tiffany'S." It's our tradition." "I have new traditions now." "Well, they're not traditionsif they're new." "Look, blair, I'm really tryingto make an effort here." "I thought everythingwas good between us." "It was... before I found outyou had sex with my boyfriend." "How'd you find out?" "Nate told me." "At least he felt he owed it to me to tell the truth." " I don't know what to say." " Don't bother saying anything." "I wouldn't believe you anyway." "Blair, it was... you know..." "I always knewyou were a whore." "I never took youfor a liar, too." "Blair, how can I fix this?" "You don't, serena." "You just stay awayfrom me, my boyfriendand my friends." "You're done here." "Serena's visit was short and apparently not very sweet." "But you know what is?" "Revenge." "We hear it's best served cold." "Who's hungry?" "dorota, I told youI didn't want to see anyone." " Hi, jenny." " Hi." "What do you want" "I realized that I still haveyour calligraphy pensfrom the party invitations, and thought you mightneed them for something." "That is the lamest excuseI've ever heard." "You wanna know what chuck bassis saying about you." "No." "Is he... saying things?" "Is anyone?" "no.Not yet, anyway." "Chuck likes to brag abouthis conquests, not his victims." "Come on." "You can help meget ready for brunch." "Okay." "Sure." " Nice flowers." " They're hydrangeas." "just coffee.I'm not staying long." "I'd like to get out of herebefore someone throws me down and tattoos me." "This is brooklyn, lil,not the warped tour." "And don't tell me you hadall your tattoos removed." "I mean, even that one, that little heart-shaped one between your, uh... uh, don't try to be cute, okay?" "Those days are well behind you." "And here I thought I was gettingbetter-looking every day." "So what's the big emergency?" "Dan went outwith serena last night." "And us humphreys sure are proud of him." "Well, currently,he's sitting in the lobby of the hotel where we're living." "hi.Can I help you?" "Two americanos... one with an extra shot?" "You don't actually thinkI'm gonna tell my kid who he can and can't date." "I mean, is that reallythe reason you came down here?" "Oh, well, I know what you're implying." "Admit it.You're falling for me again." "You're right, you're right." "It's the low-income tax bracket, the bad v-neck t-shirts,the awful jokes." "I don't knowwhy your wife you." "Well, she's got better taste than you." "Here you are.Thanks." "I mean, come on." "Why else have I seen you more in the last 2 days than in the last 15 years?" "An unfortunate twist of fate." "But fate nonetheless.Unless you, uh... are you seeing someone?" "No, not really." "not serious... or he's married.That is your type." "That's enough, rufus." "What's his name?" "I've read about himin "forbes" or "rolling stone"?" "Well, whoever he is, I'm surehe can't keep up with you." "Well, I'm gonna take thatas a compliment, but I'm serious.I'm worried about serena." "I don't need some new boyinfluencing her, distracting her from her needs." "Well, no offense, lil, but I'm guessing a kid like danis exactly what serena needs." "so, uh... what do you needto talk to serena about?" "Nothing,just in the neighborhood." " You?" " I... am nowhere nearthe neighborhood, but I'm workingon a better excuse." "You guys, like..." "I..." "I don't know." "Yeah, well,that's serena." "With her,you'll never know." "Nathaniel Nathaniel." "There you are.What are you doing?" "Nothing, waiting for you." "Him?" "Hey, what are you doing here?" "Why, what is this--uh, your hotel?" "Actually, it is." "Yeah, so unless you havea reason to be here," "I'll have to ask youto wait on the curb with the rest of the trash." "Trash?" "Look, man,I live in brooklyn, all right?" "Not the ozarks...no offense to the ozarks." "But don't you think we'retaking this class warfare thing a little too far?" "I haven't even started, man." "Okay, man, let's just go." "Don't tell me you're sticking upfor serena's new bitch." "If anyone's got a reasonto kick his ass, it's you." "He's not worth it.Not here." "This isn't over." "Hey, anytime, man.That one black eyelooks a little lonely." "come on, chill out." "Blair, it'S...it's beautiful." "I mean, you look... beautiful." "it's average." "The color is last season, and besides, stella mccartney has a much better versionat bergdorf'S." "Right.I..." "I've been meaningto go by bergdorf'S." "Wow,these dolls are great." "Oh, my god.You have a cabbage patch." "My brother used to have oneof these.His name was cedric." "Your brother's name is cedric?" "Uh, no that washis cabbage patch kid." "My brother's name is dan.Actually, you might know him." "He, um, he went outwith serena last night." "That's your brother?" "so does that meanyou're friends with serena now?" "I mean, I don't havea problem with her, but if someone did havea problem with her, I wouldn't have a problemwith that either." "You know... if you like that dress,you can have it." "What?" "No, no." "I'm sure you'llfind some way to repay me." "Oh, blair, thank you.I mean,for the dress and... for the other thingabout, uh, about chuck." "If you want to bepart of this world, jenny, people will talk... eventually, and you need to decideif all this is worth it." "dan.hey." "I-I-I wasin the neighborhood... uh, give or take 70 blocks." "I just wantedto tell you in person that, uh,the end of last night may have not beenmy finest hour." "There was a, uh, a wave." "I-I-I saw that," "Yeah, yeah, and since then, I've justbeen wondering, uh... are you hungry?" "Yes.Actually, I've hadthe worst morning." "Well, you--you wanna--you wanna talk?" "And eat?" "Not necessarily in that order." "Yes, I would love to do both, but food first, because I'm starving." "Great.Just in time for brunch." "Mom." "Ms.Van der woodsen." "Dan...still here." "Look, mom,I really don't think it's a good idea for me to go to that brunch." "You promised." "Yeah, but that was bef-- before I knew danwas hungry, too." "I can't let the boy starve." "It would be inhumane." "He's not invited." "Yeah, that's whyi'm going with him." "Because I can't gowith her." "And we have plansto go to brunch together today." "We had those plans." "Serena, you're home, living under my roof,my rules." "What is it gonna taketo get you dressed and through that door?" "uh, you know what?" "May--maybe this was a-a bad idea." "you've got to be kidding." "Yeah, this was--this was definitely a bad idea." "This should be fun." "Looks like chuck and blair showed up with quite an appetite... for destruction, that is." "hey, dad,how's the new song going?" "Oh, I thinkI need more coffee." "Whatever works." "Where'd you get the dress?" "Oh, it was a thank you-giftfrom blair for doing the party invitations." "Oh, and it looks like a veryexpensive thank you-gift." "Dad, she has a closetthe size of this apartment just full of them." "See, her mom designed it." "And her momis very talented, but the dress you made for yourself is much nicer." "Which is whyyou don't wear dresses." "Uh, one of a coupleof reasons." "Hey, y****" " yeah.Why, you wanna go?" " Yeah." "I thought you were getting too old to go places with your dad." "Well, you used to be cool, and the '90sare having a comeback." "You have no ideahow much that hurts." "well, I can't say muchfor his child-rearing skills, but bart bassknows brunch." "I, uh, I-I need to usethe ladies room." "Uh, you think you'll be okayby yourself for a while?" " Okay." " Great." "Hey, how's it going?" "no, you're--you're okay.Yeah, just, uh, go aheadand do your thing." "charles.Would you excuse me?" "Father." "The, uh,the invitation said "black tie,"not "black eye." "" Are you okay?" "I mean, if you'rein some kind of trouble... only of my own making." "why do you thinkI do all this, huh?" "This party is for you,okay?" "So you can meet people, you know,become a part of something, make some kind of change." "Really?" "I thought it wasanother excuse for an open bar and, uh, reh ingof the nearly nude statues." "do me a favor, will you?" "Lose the scotch." "It's barely noon." "serena, I really needto talk to you." "Actually, I need to talk to you,which means you can listen." "Nate, you told blair.What were you thinking?" "Look, I want to explain." " Excuse me." " Sorry." "We can't talk here." "What,where blair might see us?" "Meet me in chuck's suite." "I'm not sneaking aroundwith you." "Please.Just to talk." " Ten minutes." " I'll meet you up there." "you look beautiful,as always." "Where's your lovely mothertoday?" "Paris.Must be some dramaat the atelier." "Oh, nothing too dramatic,I hope.Her line is doing very well." "I was just telling my firm whata great investment she'd make." "She's really going places." "Hopefully placesfar, far away." "just kidding." "Hey.Let me get you a refill.I'll be right back." "I'll go with you.Excuse us." "blair seems happy." "It looks like, uh, you're taking careof business, as discussed." "Dad, not everything in life'sa business deal." "Come talk to mein thirty years." "I want to introduce you to timothy good." " His firm has got some really interesting summer internships." " Nice to meet you." "I can't believe serenacame to this brunch." "I told her to stay away." "You worried about nate?" "just a shot in the dark." "I think you know what you needto do to get his attention." "And what's that?" "The key to my suite, nate's heartand your future happiness." "And bow out gracefully I'm honored to be playingeven a small role in your deflowering." " You're disgusting." " Yes, I am, so why be shy?" "Just grab nateand finish this." "Report back with details." "nice to meet you." "Dad." "hey, can I get you a drink?" "What are you doing right now?" " Uh, well, I was just gonna-- - how about me?" "what, you havea better offer or..." " no, of course not." " Yeah?" " Uh, now?" " Now.Now." "Where are we going?" "I got us the best rooming the whole place." "wait, this is chuck's suite." " Nate" " Serena?" " Nate." " Serena?" "Blair Blair." "Spotted--N.And B.Hot and heavy in the halls of the palace hotel, only to find S.Already waiting." "Sparks were flying for sure, but will it be a 3-way or d-day?" "what is she doing here?" "I was meeting nate." "Just to talk, I swear." "You said you'd neverspeak to her again." "You said that?" "Why would you say that?" "Because you can't be trusted." "It's not serena's fault." " Do not defend her." " I asked her to come." "Oh, so you do want to talk to her." "Yes, to explainwhy I'm not talking to her." "Maybe I'll leave you two to finish that fascinatingconversation." "Oh, no, no.I'll go.Let youguys get back to your quickie." "It wasn't a quickie." "Sex is actually kind ofa big deal to some of us." "Oh, yeah, I can see that.Chuck's bed?" "Very romantic.Classy, too." "Oh, like you?" "I'll bet your new friend dan would love to hear all about how classy you are." "Dan?" "Dan?" "What...what, you really think she would tell him?" "It's blair." "I can't believe you told her." " You just expected - yes, nate." "There's nothing wrongwith keeping a secret if the truth is gonna hurt someone." "That's a hell of a wayto look at things." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I didn'trealize all of a sudden you're the most honest guyon the planet." "well well, it just seems to methat you're the one that doesn't want to be seen together in public." "No, i do want to be seen together." "I just don't want to see youwith anyone else." "Tell your haremof shopgirls and models that you're seeing someone." "I am, but those conversationstake a little time." "Well, they've got nothingbut time, bart.They're 25." "Excuse me." "Dan, wait." "Look, I really don't appreciateyour lurking in the shadows, eavesdroppingon my private conversation." "What?" "No.No, no, I wasn'T.I was looking for serena." "Well, I don't see her.Do you?" "No, which is whyI was looking." "I don't knowwhat you're doing here or what you think you heard... nothing.I heard nothing." "But serena doesn't know." "And neither do I, okay?" "So now if you'll excuse me,I'm gonna go back inside, not tell anyone a thingand mind my own business." "dan.Hi." "I'm blair waldorf,serena's friend." "Oh, hey." "Yeah, uh, do youhappen to know where she is?" "As a matter of fact, I do." "Blair blair." "Serena, there you are." "Uh, where were you?" "She was waiting in a hotel roomfor my boyfriend." " To talk." " About whywe weren't talking." "That doesn't sound any smarter the second time." "Why weren't you talking?" "Does this haveanything to do with why you were waiting for serena this morning?" "you were what?" "and here I thought you were waiting for me." "Oh, exactly whatthe situation needs--chuck." "Now what is going on here?" "We were just getting into that." "Blair, please, don't do this." "Sorry.Oh,do you wanna tell him?" "I'll tell him." " you know?" " I know everything." "And apparently,I know nothing." "Look, dan, it--it was a long time ago, and I regret it." "look, serena, stop trying to pretendyou're a good girl." "So you slept withyour best friend's boyfriend." "I kind of admire youfor it." "Is that true?" "Well, then she ran awayedand li about it." "I just thought you should know before you fall head over heels for your perfect girland her perfect world, and then get left all alone with no one but your cabbage patch kid." "Cabbage patch?" "Did you talk to my sister?" "Ah, yes, little jenny." "I do believe she and ihave some unfinished business." " You stay away from her." " Poor daniel." "So little time,so many sluts to defend." "it's fine.It's fine.Everyone can stop looking." "He's a jerk... but it's my fault,and--and I'm leaving." "I--I'll go with you." "Actually,I'd prefer if you didn'T." "Hope you're happy." "Not even close." "Looks likeit's just you and me." "Apparently, my room is available." "some might call this a "fustercluck,"" "but on the upper east side, we call it sunday afternoon." "Dan!" "Dan, wait.I'm so sorry." "There's no--there's no need to be.Really, I shouldn't have comehere today." " I made a mistake." " No, you didn'T." "Look, I'm sorryabout blair and chuck-- it's not aboutblair or chuck." "I mean, it is,but it's--it's not just them." "No, I know.Trust me, I know.This world--it--it's crazy." "Yeah, it--it is... and you're a part of it." "What, and you didn'tknow that?" "I don't know.I-I thought you were different." "Well, I'm sorryI'm not who you thought I was, but what's happenedis in the past, you know, and all I can dois try to change." "But if youcan't accept that, then, you know, you'renot who I thought you were." "Well, I guesswe both made mistakes." " hi." " Hey, jen saidyou went looking for serena.Did you find her?" "Yeah, yeah, I found her,and, uh, and then I lost her." "Oh, uh, that's, uh... it's fine.It's fine.Really, it's all for the best." "Serena and her friendsand her family... her whole world... turns out it wasn't for me." "Wait, dan.What happened?" "Did you tell blair waldorfabout cedric?" "I... it may have come up." "You can't trustthese people, jen." "Don't tell 'em anything." "They're nice flowers." "They're hydrangeas." "Look, blair, either you tryto forgive me and move on... or we end it." "well, serena's mystery man is a mystery no longer." "His name is... oh, who cares?" "Now that he and S.Are over, so are his 15 minutes." "But his sister jenny was spotted with a new dress... gifted from blair herself." "Everyone knows an eleanor original is the uniform of B.'S private army." "But will J.Be a loyal soldier or will she side with S.'S rebel forces?" "And as for S.Herself, we hear that she left today's brunch with nofriends, no boy and nowhere left to run." "it looks like the ultimate insider has become a total outsider." "It's your move, serena, and you know who will be watching-- gossip girl."