"NARRATOR"." "A peaceful day in Gotham City." "But at the Gotham City branch of the Mint the peace is about to be shattered by a familiar feathered felon." "Hey" "Get going." "Hwah, hwah, hwah." "Come on, follow me." " Hands up." "Penguin, what do you want here?" "I'm here to get a gift for my lady love." "What do you want, my dear?" "Well, I don't know, Pengy." "Um, ha, ha." "What do they have?" "Ha, ha." "Well, there's a very fine ink." "Would you like that?" " Just plain ink?" "Green ink." "Green ink, my love." "And here's some fine paper." "You get the idea?" " Oh, Pengy, I'm beginning to catch on." "Of course, you are." "You see, green ink and paper make a very interesting combination." "Perfect." "There's your money." "Wheelbarrows full of money." "And when Barbara told me she'd been elected chairman of the Gotham City anti-littering campaign..." " Daddy arranged for this meeting, Bruce." "I'm glad he did, Barbara." "Never hurts to remind anyone of the litter basket." "Gosh, yes." "A clean city is a healthy city." " Then we can count on your support." "Of course." "A call for Commissioner Gordon, sir." " Take it there." "Oh, thank you, Alfred." "Commissioner Gordon." "Terrible news, Chief O'Hara." "Use the red phone and call Batman immediately." "I'll hold on to this line." " Anything serious, commissioner?" "Penguin's just been reported in the Mint." " Penguin in the Mint?" "That is serious." " Yeah." "Oh, sir, this is perhaps an inopportune moment but the downstairs hot water line has burst once again and the shut-off valve seems to be rusted up." "I'll give you a hand, Alfred." "Would you excuse me?" "Yeah, surely, surely." "Maybe I didn't work it right." "Yes, chief" " Commissioner." "It's Chief O'Hara, Batman." " Oh, oh." "The commissioner is visiting Bruce Wayne." "He wanted me to call you and tell you that The Penguin is back and he's broken into the Mint." "Is he still in the Mint, chief?" "No, drat the luck." "He's already made his escape." "We'll be right down, chief." "The dynamic do-gooders." "You've been helping old ladies across the street, Batman?" "Hwah, hwah." "We're going to help you into a jail cell, you beaked buffoon." "Leave my beak out of this, you baby barnacle." " Let's get them, Batman." "No, no!" "Stop this loutish violence you teenage truant." "It offends my cultured soul." "Hwah, hwah, hwah." "Hwah, hwah, hwah." "Come on." "There's the blue-coated baboon and his boorish boss." "Perfect witnesses, Pengy, when you bring suit for false arrest." "False arrest?" "I'm afraid it's true, Boy Wonder." "You mean, The Penguin has committed no crime, Chief O'Hara?" "He didn't steal a thing from the Mint." "Not one red cent, Batman." "I just talked to the supervisor." "I didn't steal a thing." "And what do you say to a million-dollar lawsuit, eh?" "What do you say to the fact that you're still guilty of breaking and entering and therefore your arrest was not false?" "What?" "By golly, you're right, Batman." "The slimy bird outsmarted himself." "This is trickery." "This is low, conniving trickery." "The only trickery was on your part, Penguin." "So for the present, you drop the lawsuit, we'll drop the charges." "Now, Commissioner Gordon, would you like us to show these uninvited guests out of your office?" "Very definitely, Batman." " Hwah." "We're going." "That's right, we're going." "Or maybe you'd like a helping hand, huh?" "You sure outwitted that waddling weasel, Batman." "But why did you let him go?" "We couldn't have held him long on those minor charges, commissioner." "He must've gone daft, breaking into the Mint for no reason." " I'm sure he had a reason, Chief O'Hara." "But if he didn't take anything out of the Mint..." " Maybe he put something in." "Batgirl." "How did you know about this, Batgirl?" "I just happened to be driving by the Mint, Batman and saw the police cars." "Why?" "Oh, just curious." "But your hunch is a shrewd one, Batgirl." "I might also add, the police found all the Mint employees..." " ...fast asleep." " Asleep?" "Penguin always uses gas, Batman." "But Penguin gas wears off quickly, Robin." "I suggest we take a tour of that Mint." "We'll be in touch, commissioner." "Great Scott." "Take a look, Robin." "Looks like a bunch of miniature tadpoles, Batman." "Batgirl?" "Bacteria." "They seemed to be of the species somnophilia." "Somnophilia lygeria to be exact, Batgirl." "Lygerian Sleeping Sickness." "They're normally carried by the Lygerian fruit fly." "In this case, Penguin was able to plant a culture of the bacteria in the ink used in making this money." "Officer, have any bills been shipped out of here since Penguin made his raid?" "I'm afraid so, Batman." "Gotham National Bank picked up a load not half an hour ago." "There's no time to lose." "Batgirl, you go to the bank." "Robin and I will go to Gotham General Hospital and meet you later at the bank." "The hospital?" "Yes, it's the only place in the country that carries a supply of B-6 vaccine." "And B-6 vaccine is the only known antidote for Lygerian Sleeping Sickness." "Holy hypodermics." "We'd better get our hands on it fast." "NARRATOR"." "But at the Gotham General Hospital a certain well-known bird is up to his usual well-known tricks." "Hurry up with that hypo." "And give him a double dose too." "Gee, boss, do I have to?" "Unless you wanna sleep the rest of your life, dolt." "There is no fun in that, is there, Dustbag?" "All right, jab him." "Go ahead before I do some jabbing myself." "Very good." "Now we're all inoculated." "Where's the rest of the vaccine?" "Come on, hand it over before I demonstrate the famous Penguin technique of open-heart surgery." "Very good." "Is this all of it?" "Huh?" "You don't talk much, do you?" "He's a mute doctor." "Here we are." "Ah." "Now we're the only people in Gotham City protected against the Lygerian Sleeping Sickness." "Hwah, hwah, hwah." "You're not protected against a good right jab, you slimy bird." "It's beddy-bye for you, Penguin." "Nobody catches The Penguin sleeping, dynamic dreamers." "Try this on for size." "The lethal Lygerian fruit fly." "Pleasant dreams, Batfink." "Look out, Robin." "They are deadly." "Missed." "They're too fast, Batman." "What about the Insecticide Bat-bomb?" "I left it in the Batmobile." "But we dare not open that door until all three of these flies are dead." "Fortunately I brought my All-Purpose Bat-Swatter." " You got one, Batman." "Touché." "You got another one." "That means there's one left, Robin." "Batman." "Don't breathe, Robin." "Hold perfectly still." "This calls for the Bat-tweezers." "One bite from this fruit fly, Robin and you might have been asleep for years." "Holy Rip van Winkle." "But this specimen might prove quite rewarding research-wise." "Hold that, Robin." "In the bottle." "Gingerly, gingerly." "Ah." "Doctor, has Penguin disposed of all that B-6 vaccine?" "I'm afraid so, and the only other supply is in Lygeria." "Telephone Lygeria." "Have them fly fruit fly vaccine here immediately." "All right, Batman, but "immediately" means 24 hours." "Twenty-four hours of hope." "Hope that Penguin has no more of those fruit flies on hand." "And that Batgirl reached Gotham National to prevent circulation of the infected money." "Yes, that money can be as dangerous as those fruit flies." "To the bank, Robin." "Well, we're out or luck, Batgirl." "Thirteen thousand dollars has already been distributed." " To whom?" "To whomever came in today." "Then that infected money could be anywhere in Gotham City right now." "We missed, Batman, 13,000 infected dollars have already gone out." " What about the vaccine?" "Penguin beat us to it." "And it'll take at least 24 hours before we can get any more." "That means everyone in Gotham City will be vulnerable to Lygerian Sleeping Sickness because of those contaminated bills." "Yes, there's only one thing to do." "May I use your telephone?" "Commissioner." "I want you to notify all radio and TV stations to broadcast the following message:" ""Some of the money now circulating in Gotham City carries a deadly disease." "No one is to handle any of this money." "Repeat." "No one is to come in contact with any of this money."" "Isn't that rather drastic, Batman?" "There's no other way, commissioner." "We don't know what money is infected and what money is not." "We must prevent contact with any of it." "Of course, Batman." "I'll see to it right away." "Thank you." "Batgirl, Robin and I will meet you in a couple of hours." " We have some things to attend to." " I'll be here." "We interrupt our music to bring you a special bulletin." "Some of the money in Gotham City has been infected with a deadly tropical disease." "Any contact with money now circulating in Gotham City may be extremely dangerous." " How did it go?" "Like taking candy from a baby." "I never thought it'd be so easy." "We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin." "Some of the money in Gotham City has been infected with a deadly tropical disease." "Any contact with money now circulating in Gotham City may be extremely dangerous." "I just love sweeping up." "I never thought I'd like being a trash collector, boss." "It's different when there's gold in the garbage, huh?" "Hwah." "There's trash of another color on the horizon." "Bat trash." "Consider your collecting career over, Penguin." "Shall we finish her off, boss?" "No, no, no, business before pleasure, Dustbag." "With all this moola lying around, there's no time to bother with Batgirl." "Onward and upward." "Sweep, brother, sweep with care There's a bunch of moola everywhere" "Sweep, brother, sweep with care There's money, money everywhere" "Sweep, brother, sweep" "Sweep, brother, sweep" "Hello, Ibn Mukdash?" "This is Bruce Wayne." "No, no, it's not about my oil interests." "I called to tell you that the currency here in Gotham City is infected with a dangerous disease." "I wanna warn you against accepting any of it for the next few days." "You're quite welcome." "You might pass the information on to the other financiers in your area of the world." "Yes, goodbye, Ibn." "Is that, uh...?" " Carpathia." "Thank you." "Hello?" "Hello, Mr. Bolescu." "NARRATOR"." "And in a warehouse near the outskirts of the city..." "There's millions!" "And plenty more in the streets ready for us to pick up." "Oh, Pengy, are you going to buy me something?" "Yes, anything your evil little heart desires, you just name it." "Hmm?" "I've always wanted a little house in the country." "One house in the country coming up." "Where's that phone?" "Ah, here it is." "Hello, operator, would you give me the headquarters of the World League of Nations?" "Why are you calling them for, Pengy?" "'" "You said you wanted a house in the country, I gotta buy you a country to put the house in." "Hello, World League of Nations?" "I'd like to buy a country." "What have you got?" "No." "I don't want that one." "I'm allergic to vodka." "Heh." "Something a little smaller, you know, with a few mountains, a little seacoast." "Yeah, that'll be fine." "I'll take it." "I'll pay cash." "The name is Penguin." "Address:" "Gotham City." "What do you mean?" "What do you mean you can't accept my money?" "It's perfectly good money." "I don't care what Bruce Wayne said." "What?" "Wait a minute." "Hello?" "Hello!" "Hwah, hwah, hwah!" "Penguin, why don't you try somewhere else?" "After all, Bruce Wayne can't have notified everyone in the world." "All right, how would you like some diamonds, a couple of hundred pounds of them, huh?" "You like that, my dear?" "You're a doll." "It's perfectly good money." "You can't do this to me!" "Hwah, hwah." "Here we are, knee-deep in money, and we can't even buy a stick of gum." "That millionaire fink Bruce Wayne has warned everybody in the world about me." "Well, he'll learn that nobody crosses The Penguin and gets away with it." "Hwah, hwah, hwah." "Thanks to your calls, Batman there's probably no one in the world who will accept Penguin's money." "A brilliant idea." "Merely common sense, old churn." "If you can't spend it, money is just a lot of worthless paper, isn't it?" "And that's exactly what Penguin has, a pile of worthless green paper." "Our main worry right now lies elsewhere, Robin." "Lygerian fruit flies such as the one under this microscope pose a frightening and lethal threat." "If Penguin has any more of them, and he probably does he's may be fiend enough to loose them all on Gotham City in a fit of rage when he finds he can't spend that money that he's swept up." " The weather forecast, Alfred?" "I make it clear and cool, sir." "Temperature approximately, uh, 45 degrees." " Are you sure, Alfred?" "Sure as any weatherman can be, sir." "That's probably our feathered friend." "Bruce Wayne." "I know all about your calls to world financiers, you fink." "Now you listen to this." "Unless you call every one of them back and tell them to accept my money I will let 500 Lygerian fruit flies loose on Gotham City." "I refuse your ultimatum, Penguin." "And I will not reverse any of those calls." "All right, Wayne." "You have just doomed Gotham City to 1000 years of very sound sleep." "Hwah, hwah, hwah." "Hop on, my little baby." "Come on, my little sweetheart." "Here we are." "Listen to them." "Maybe the money's contaminated but the diamonds and the jewelry aren't." "We'll put the whole city to sleep and then we'll loot it, we'll strip it clean." "But I thought Batman and Robin were with you, Batgirl." "I haven't seen them since they left the bank." " Maybe that devious devil, The Penguin" "Don't say it, chief." "Don't even think it." "If Batman has been harmed..." "Thank heavens." "Batman, are you all right?" "When we didn't hear from you, we" "Yes, commissioner, Robin and I had some important matters to attend to." "Is Batgirl there?" " Yes, she is." "Good." "Yes, sir." "Very well." "Don't worry, we'll be there." "We're to meet them at Gotham National Bank." "The fruit flies really did their work." "They're all sleeping like babies." "Even this mutton-headed police chief." "Of course he looks like he's sleeping even when he's awake." "What have we got here?" "A watch." "This is no more than I deserve." "A very fine watch." "You won't be needing a watch where you're going." " What?" "You'll need a calendar." "A 20-year calendar." "This is impossible." "You're all infected with Lygerian Sleeping Sickness." "Oh, you see, that's what happens, Pengy-poo when you send out a fly to do a man's job." "That's right, Pengy-poo." "We're just sleepwalking." "What do you say to a little sleep-fighting, Robin?" "Good idea, Batgirl." " Get them finks!" "Get them!" "We'll handle this." "Get them!" "Hwah, hwah, hwah." "No!" "Take your fumbling fingers off my person, Batman." "You used a foul trick to murder those innocent fruit flies." "You murdered them, Penguin, when you let them out." "My recent research on Lygerian fruit flies has proved conclusively that Gotham City's 45-degree temperatures caused an inversion of air layers." "Which, in turn, raised the atmospheric pressure and crushed the flies to death." " That's right, Batgirl." " I've been tricked." "You tricked yourself, Penguin." "Just as you did when you had that doctor give you a double dose of B-6 vaccine." "So large a dose, you'll probably contract Lygerian Sleeping Sickness yourself." "Me?" "Ha, ha." "That's impose" "You know what?" "That's impossible." "That's impo" " What?" "Impossible." " Well, you stopped the Penguin cold, Batman." "Cold indeed." "Now, how did you know it would be cold?" "I consulted a very reliable weather forecaster who predicted that today would be clear and cool." "Well, he was certainly right about it being cool but those clouds up there don't look very clear." "After all, even the best of Weathermen is entitled to an occasional miss." "It was very nice of each of you to drop by separately and unannounced." "I was in the neighborhood, Barbara, and I thought you might buy me a cup of coffee." "Oh, make that two cups, Barbara." "I just get tired being at the office." "I don't blame you, Daddy." "I'm amazed your office does everything it manages to do." "Foiling Penguin and his tainted money scheme and ridding Gotham City of those deadly Lygerian fruit flies." "Oh, but as usual, Barbara, the majority of credit goes to Batman and Robin." " Don't forget to mention Batgirl, commissioner." "Yes, yes, a remarkable young woman." "I wonder who in the world she really is." "Hello." "Yes, Bonnie, he's right here." "Daddy." "What is it, Bonnie?" "Warden Crichton on the other phone, yes." "Calling about two women who keep visiting Shame at Gotham State Prison?" "Calamity Jan and Frontier Fanny?" "Staying somewhere in Gotham City." "Tell the warden I'll look into it at once." "NARRATOR"." "But little does Commissioner Gordon know what he's about to see or what trouble that double-dealing desperado Shame is hatching right now with Calamity Jan and Frontier Fanny in the prison visiting room and which will explode before everyone's eyes on our next episode."