"# In my arms I will keep you safe and warm #" "# Come to me #" "# I will shelter you from the storm #" "# I'm not one to pretend #" "# Why can't you understand #" "# That I love you?" "#" "# And I love you #" "# And I need you #" "# And I want you #" "# And I love you #" "# And I love you #" "# And I need you #" "# And I want you #" "# Come to me #" "# Oh, baby #" "# I'm a lonely man #" "# Living in a world of dreams #" "# I've got everything #" "# But the one thing that I really need #" "# Come to me #" "# I'll give you all the love you need #" "# 'Cause I have love just for you #" "Did you see that gorgeous thing at the bar, sitting all by his lonesome?" "How could we not, what with you flirting like a cheap whore?" "Honey, I may be cheap." "I ain't no whore." "Now, now, Pinocchio." "We know what happens to little boys who tell lies." " Ooh!" " Oh, please." "Enough already." "Come in." "# What's his name?" "What's his name?" "#" "Well, hello." "Your first time?" "Yeah." "Are you married?" "Divorced." "When did you know?" "In my first year of high school, my father made me play football." "Coach told me to line up center, bend over and grab the ball." "Donnie Walsh was the quarterback." "He" " He walked up behind me, put his hand on my ass for the snap." "I was in heaven." "It's honestly all been downhill from then on." "Oh, shit." "Don't worry." "Just roll down the window, and let me do the talking." "You boys having some fun?" "No, Officer." "We're actually just talking about playing high school football." "Yeah, right." "No, really." "And you look like you've played with a few balls in your time." " Whoa, whoa, whoa!" " Show me your hands." " Everything's cool, everything's cool!" " Why are you so angry?" " Do you wanna talk about it?" " I'm gonna count to three." "One." " Big man with your big gun!" " Two." "Shut up and do what he says!" "Put your hands up!" " Three!" " W-Wait!" "You-You pull that trigger, it's murder one." "I'm with the D.A.'s office." "Jury will convict you in five seconds." "You'll spend the next 50 years in a jail cell with some guy... that wants to play cops and robbers with you every night." "I'm sure the D.A.'s office would love to know about one of their own... getting sucked off in a parking lot." "And I'm sure Internal Affairs would love to hear about one of their own... drawing his weapon and threatening two unarmed civilians." "So let's just both forget about this little misunderstanding." "What do you say?" "Don't let me catch you in this parking lot again." "Okay." "Are you crazy?" " It's not funny." " Yes, it's so" "It's not funny!" ""Drawing his weapon and threatening two unarmed civilians."" "Oh, my God." "I thought he was gonna kill us." "Oh, my God!" "What is your name?" "Paul Fleiger." "You?" "Rudy Donatello." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, Mr. Donatello." "What now?" "He was kind of cute too." "I'm just staying here till they, uh, finish my place in Malibu." " Uh" " Okay." "Well, w-wait, wait." "Just" " Here." "Give me a call." "Are you sure that's what you want?" "Hmm." "Hey!" "What do you want?" "You got a kid, right?" "Yeah." "What about him?" "Yeah, yeah." "I figured this must be his." " You should turn that down." " What?" "Loud music ain't good for kids." "It hurts their ears." " Are you some expert on parenting now?" " No, but" "Then you know what?" "Mind your own business, you cock-sucking motherfucker." "Yo!" "Life of the party's here!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "You're six days late." "Twelve dollars?" "What are you?" "A comedian?" "Things have been a bit slow." "I'll-I'll get it to you by tomorrow, I promise." " Well, tomorrow's not today!" " Tomorrow is not today." "What is this?" "Some sort of existential philosophy we're getting now?" "You don't have the money by tomorrow, I'm locking you out!" "You know, instead of bleeding me dry, you could do something about the noise in there!" "It's like this morning, noon and night!" "Or at least ask her to close the door!" "Geez!" "Lady, close your door!" "Jesus!" "Your mommy didn't come home at all last night?" "Oh." "No?" "No idea where she might be, huh?" "Can you talk?" "Oh, good." "What's your name?" "Marco." "Hey, Marco." "I'm Rudy." "Paul Fleger's office." "Yeah, hello." "I'd like to speak to Paul Fleiger, please." " Can I get your name, please?" " Rudy Donatello." "Rudy, my main man." "Can you give me some change?" " Not now, Larry." " Give me some spare change, man." "Uh, can I tell Mr. Fleiger what this is regarding?" "Come on." "Don't be a Nosy Nellie." "Just put Paul on the phone for me, please." " I'll let him know you're on the line." " I gotta get something to eat." "This is not a good time to be hitting me up for money, believe me." " Look, a quarter, a dime." " Larry, don't get" " Larry!" "Jesus Christ, Larry!" "This is not a good time, I said already!" "Now beat it or I'll bust your face in two!" " Oh, you crazy faggot!" " Get" "It's okay." "It's okay." "Hello?" "Mr. Donatello?" "Hello." "Yeah, I'm here." " Yeah, I'm afrad I don't have Mr. Fleger." " You don't have him?" "What is that?" "Code talk for he's there, but he don't wanna talk to me?" "Would you like to leave him a message?" "No, I would not like to leave a message." "I would like to talk to him." "Look, if you'd like to leave him a message, I'll be happy to pass it along for you." "Lady, are you deaf?" "I already said I do not want to leave a message." "Give me your hand." "Come on." "I'm looking for Paul Fleiger." "Do you know where he is?" "No?" "Paul!" "Paul Fleiger!" "Pa" " Hey!" "Ex-Excuse me." " Oh." " Mr. Fleiger's not in his office." " Paul!" "Mister, if you don't stop, I'm gonna call the police." " Go for it, sweet cheeks." " It's all right, Monica." "I'll take care of this." "Come on in." "It's all right." "It's-Thank you." "What the hell are you doing, barging in here like a lunatic?" "If you answered your phone, I wouldn't have to barge in here like a lunatic." "This is my job, Rudy." "This is where I work!" "This kid lives in my building." "Last night, his mom left him alone, and she ain't been back since then." " What do you want me to do about it?" " You're a lawyer." "I" " I don't know." "Do what lawyers do." "Give me some advice here." " You want my advice?" " Yes, I do." " Call Family Services!" " So they can toss him in a foster home?" "Do you have any idea what they do to kids in those places?" "Come on!" "You wanted my advice." "That's my advice." "A real Perry-fuckin'" "Mason you are." "Come on, kid." "Shh." "Shit!" "Rudy." "Wait!" "Hey, Rudy." "Do you need some money or anything?" "Let me guess." "And in exchange for the money, I don't come around to your office anymore?" "Hmm?" "You should be so ashamed of yourself right now." " What's going on?" " That's him." "That's the kid right there." " Who are you?" " I'm the neighbor." "What's the kid doing with you?" "I-I was looking after him till his mommy comes back." "His mommy's not comin' back." "Come here, kid." " If you need anything else, give me a call." " I will." "I think I got it from here." " What the hell's going on?" " His mother got picked up by Vice last night." "Come on." "We need to get you packed and out of here." "You got a suitcase?" "Where are your clothes?" "Come on, come on." "Show me where your clothes are." "Are they in here?" "Honey, where are your clothes?" " This is-This is it?" " Mm-hmm." "This is all you have?" "You don't have a bag?" "Nothing." "Okay." "All right." "Let's go, let's go, let's go!" "Let's go, let's go, let's go!" "Hey, hey!" "You don't got to shove him like that." " Sir, step aside, please." " What is your name?" "Sir, I'm gonna ask you one last time to step aside." "I will not step aside until I know your name, lady." "My name is Miss Martinez, Family Services." "You have an issue?" " I have an issue, Miss Martinez." "It's you." " Here's a card." "Why don't you give them a call?" " Thank you." " Thank you." "Come on." "I-I have friends in the- in the D.A.'s office, Miss Martinez." " You'll be hearing from me." " Are we done?" "We are done." "Marco!" "Wait up." "All right, all right." "Come on, kid." "# The show must go on #" "# Hey, one monkey don't stop no show #" "# If you don't want my love #" "# You're free to go #" "# You can go, you can go, you can go #" "# Life s a play #" "# We play different parts #" "# But to be a star in love, you've got to feel it in your heart #" "# You've been acting strange You don't love me with soul #" "# Well, there's lots of other guys who'd love to play your role #" "# If you don't want to be my leading man #" "# Get out of my life and let me live again #" " # You can go, you can go # - # Ah #" " # The show must go on # - # Oh..." "Oh #" "# Hey, hey, one monkey #" "Don't you think we should have this discussion in private?" "No." "Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of them." "I'm sorry." "I'm from Walla Walla, Washington." "Walla Walla, Washington." "Very fun to say." "And when I graduated college, I took over the family insurance business." "I married my sweetheart, and everything was perfect, except" "Let me guess." "Selling insurance bored you to death... and you secretly longed to meet the drag queen of your dreams." "Oh, it's the oldest story in the book." "Boy meets girl, boy loses girl... boy kicks open the closet door and finally meets Mr. Right." "I don't know." "Anyway, I got a divorce... and, uh, loaded my suitcase into the car... and I moved here to study law and change the world." "How's that world changing going?" "Honestly, when I got this job, I thought I'd make a difference, you know?" "I-I thought" " I-I" " I thought I'd fight the good fight... protect the innocent and prosecute the guilty." "Uh, I'm just babbling now." "Tell me about you." " You don't want to know about me." " Yes, I do." "No, well- No, there's really nothing to it." " I don't believe that." " Okay!" " Do you really wanna know about me?" " I do." " Georgie, give me the blues in "F."" " What are you doing?" "You just sit here and look pretty." "# Well, I was born across the country in a place they call Queens #" "# But I left my home behind me way back in my teens #" "# Now I live in the so-called paradise #" "# Where they spray their grass green #" "# Ain't got much in the way of possessions #" "# I ain't got much dough #" "# I work in this bar to pay my rent Keep the wolf from the door #" "# There are better things in life than money #" "# But I still would like some more #" "# So, you want to know about me, baby #" "# Well, I'm here for you #" "# I've got exes and baggage and hang-ups and shit #" "# And so do you #" "# We could stay in this bar all night talkin' #" "# Or go to your car for Round 2 #" "Boy, you've got an amazing voice." "Yeah, this lip-synch thing, it's just a cover." "What I really want to be is Bette Midler." " You should do it." " What?" "Sing." "Do your own stuff." "I don't know, make a demo." "Making a demo takes time and money, both of which are in short supply these days." "What the hell?" " What?" " Stop the car." "Shit." "Marco!" "Hey." "How" " How did you get all the way over here?" "I walked." "You walked?" "Where are you going?" "Home." "Home, like, to your mommy's place?" "You're going the wrong way." "Come on." "He's not a stray dog, you know?" "You can't just keep him." "I'm not gonna keep him." "I'm just gonna" "I don't know." "Once they find out where he is, Family Services is gonna come take him." "Then we'll hit the road, me and Marco, like fugitives... always one step ahead of the law." "I can already see my outfit." " Houndstooth suit, black overcoat and a gray fedora." " Shut up." "I will look fabulous." "What?" "You're remarkable." " Oh, stop with the compliments already." " I'm sorry." "Oh, I'm kidding." "Don't stop." "Tell me all the ways I'm remarkable." "It's like nothing scares you." "Yeah." "Well, that's a front." "I'm actually terrified of wearing white after Labor Day." "# If only you believe like I believe, baby #" "Good morning." " Oh, what time is it?" " 8:30." "Oh, shit!" "Have you got time for breakfast before you go?" "No." "I'm already late." " How about lunch?" " No, I have plans." " Dinner?" " Look, I'm really, really late." "Uh, just give me your number, and I'll call you later." "Uh, yeah, right." "That's the thing." "I" " I don't have a phone." "Uh, well, call me at the office, okay?" "Will you take my call this time?" "Ex-Excuse me." "I'm hungry." "Oh." "Then let's get you some food, young man." "So, um, what do you eat for breakfast?" "Doughnuts." "Doughnuts are poison." "They make you fat and give you pimples, okay?" "Um, let's see." "Oh." "Do you like peanut butter?" "Carrots?" "Cheese." "Ooh!" "Cheese and... crackers." "There we are." "Cheese and crackers." "Breakfast of champions." "It's what they eat in France." "Hmm." " Pay up or get out." " I got it." "I got it." " What's he doing here?" " He's just dropped by for breakfast." "There." "It's all there." "Do you want to count it?" " Do Family Services people know he's here?" " No, they do not." "And I'd prefer to keep it that way." "Thank you." "Okay, young man." "We've gotta get a move on." "You eat your breakfast, and I will put my face on." "Hey, sport." "Hey." "I heard you had some... interesting visitors in your office yesterday." "Yeah." "My cousin." "He can be a little high-strung." " Cousin, huh?" " Yeah, on my mother's side." "He was upset about a custody issue." "I thought you told me all your family lived in Washington." "They do." "But your cousin lives here, huh?" "Are you deposing me?" "Relax, sport." "I'm just making conversation." "Uh, Mr. Fleiger- Hi, Mr. Wilson." "Yes, Monica?" "Uh, that guy, Mr. Donatello, is on the phone." "Thank you." "Um, I was about to go and get some lunch... and I was wondering if maybe you wanted me to get you something... or if you wanted to come with me?" "No, thank you." "I'm not hungry." "I'm just gonna work through lunch." "Okay." "Cool." "You dirty dog." "What?" "You didn't tell me you were gettin' down with that." "I'm not gettin' down with that." "Relax, sport." "Your secret's safe with me." "Oh." "We got a problem." "Why?" "The manager of my building saw me with Marco this morning, and I think he called the cops." "Wow." "Just stay away from the building until we get this all sorted out." "Me and Marco, fugitives from the law." "I don't know about that." "I've been doing some research, and I found out a couple interesting things." " Like what?" " Let's talk about it in person." "Do you want to have dinner tonight?" " My place?" " I thought you'd never ask." "1254 Havenhurst, Apartment 3." " Say 6:00?" " I will be there with bells on." " Okay." "Bye." " Bye." "Bye-bye." "That man does not know it yet, but he's desperately in love with me." " How's it taste?" " Mmm." "It's delicious." "It's my mom's world famous lasagna recipe." "You don't like your own food?" "What do you like?" " Doughnuts." " Doughnuts." "Wow." "This just might be your lucky day." "Oh, doughnuts for dinner ain't healthy, Paul." "One doughnut every once in a while never hurt anyone." "You like chocolate?" "Hmm?" "Are you just gonna look at 'em, or are you gonna eat 'em?" "Thank you." "You're very welcome, young man." "There." "Is my mommy coming back?" "No." "Am I gonna stay with you?" "I don't know." "Will you-Will you tell me a story?" "Sure." "Um" "There ain't no books here." "You want me to make one up?" " Mm-hmm." " Okay." "I like happy ending." "Mmm." "Don't we all, sweetheart?" "Okay." "Once upon a time, um... there lived a boy whose magic was known throughout the land." "Um-And he lived a very happy life with his mommy and his daddy... and his grumpy little sister, Lulabell." "What's his- What's his name?" "Who?" "The boy with magic." "Well, his name was Marco, of course." "You're gonna try and keep him, aren't ya?" "Yes, I am." "You know it's not gonna be easy." "Well, I should just toss him aside because it's not gonna be easy?" "Marco didn't ask to be born to a junkie." "He didn't ask to be... different." "He didn't... ask for none of this." "And I just don't see why he should be punished anymore... for stuff that ain't his fault, you know?" "Okay." ""Okay"?" "What does "okay" mean?" "It means there's only one way to legally do this." "What the hell are you doing here?" "After you were arrested, they took Marco to a foster home, and, uh" " Is he okay?" " Yeah, he's okay." " He's okay now." "He's with us." " That's good." "You understand that unless Marco has an assigned advocate while you're incarcerated... he becomes a ward of the state?" "Who the hell are you?" "I'm his lawyer and his friend." "His "friend." Hmm." "Is that what you people are calling it these days?" "We have some legal papers we'd like you to sign." "And what do they say?" "That Rudy shall be granted temporary emergency custody of the minor child... until such time as your incarceration terminates... and you petition for reunification." "Which means what in normal-person talk?" "That Rudy'll take care of Marco while you're locked up." "What's it gonna cost me?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "You're gonna take care of my kid for nothing?" "Not just me, honey." "Mr. Lawyer here is offering to help too." "Like I said, me and Rudy are friends." "I have to talk with you about something before the hearing." "What?" "There's no way the judge is gonna grant you custody... with you living in the apartment you're in." "Hey, I know it's not the Taj Mahal, but, trust me, I've lived in worse places." "I know." "It's just" "The court is gonna require that Marco have a safe environment and his own bedroom." "What?" "If it's okay with you, I'd like to tell the judge that you and Marco live with me." "Are you asking me to move in with you?" "No, no." "J" "Just to fulfill the legal requirements." "Yes, you are." "You are." "You're asking me to move in with you." "There's no other way you're gonna get custody, Rudy." " And I have an extra bedroom, so" " The answer is yes." "Yes?" "Yes." "Okay." "That's good." "Okay." "That is good." "Yeah." "Just don't mention our relationship." "Your Honor, Marco's mother is currently incarcerated." "There are no known relatives... and she's signed emergency orders granting Mr. Donatello temporary custody." "And is there an education plan in place?" "Yes, Your Honor." "Mr. Donatello found a local school that has a special education program." "And is there a Mrs. Donatello?" "You're looking at her, sweetheart." "What did you say?" "What Mr. Donatello means is that he is not currently married." "But California state family code 143.089 clearly stipulates... that marital status shall have no factor... when temporary, emergency orders have been signed by a custodial parent." "Relax, sparky." "It was just a simple question, not a cue for you to recite your vast knowledge of code law." "Yes, Your Honor." "I see here that Mr. Donatello lives with you." "Is that correct?" "Yes, ma'am." "And what is the exact nature of your relationship?" "He's my cousin." "We know you love your doll, but... we got you all those other toys, too, that you could play with- the robots and the teddy bear and the pig." "Is this my home?" "Yeah." "This-This is your home." "Oh, sweetheart." "Are you all right?" " You okay?" " I'm so excited." "Ah." "That's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's good to be excited, huh?" "Huh." "Here we go." "Follow the light." " Now say, "Aah."" " Aah." "The kid's in rough physical shape." "It's pretty clear he hasn't been treated well in years." "His eyesight's terrible." "He's gonna need glasses." "And, uh, he's susceptible to all kinds of medical conditions... including thyroid problems... intestinal abnormalities and a high risk for leukemia." "And the good news is?" "Well, I just want to make sure that both of you understand... that raising a child with Down syndrome... is a major commitment." "We got it." "We signed up for the gig, didn't we?" "Now, he's never gonna go to college... or leave home on his own or get a job." "What you see is what you get." "That looks really great." "Good job." "Hi." "This must be Marco." "Hi, Marco." "I'm Miss Fleming." " Nice to see you." " You too." "What's your doll's name?" "Ashley." "Ashley." "Okay, I'll take it from here." "Uh, shouldn't we wait a little bit?" "Yeah." "You know, to make sure he's okay and everything." "I think it's easiest if you just leave quickly." "Oh." "It might be best for him, but what about me?" "We'll see you at the end of the day." "Let's go meet your friends, okay?" "And bring Ashley with you." "Okay, this is the gang." "This is Marco." "We're doing a big puzzle right now." "Do you want to join us?" " Um" " Okay." "It's okay." " I'm gonna get you a chair, all right?" " Mm-hmm." "Okay, what do we got?" ""The cat sat by the door."" "That's pretty good, except there's two O's in "door." Good." "Let's try the next one." ""The bug sat in the grass."" ""The bug sat in the grass." Think you can do that all by yourself?" "Yeah?" "Let's see ya." "That's right." " I am so sorry." " Nice of you to join us." "Marco had loads of homework, and Paul was late getting back from the office." "Yeah." "You're a regular Ozzie and Harriet, ain't ya?" "What's going on?" " This is" " No." " Where are you taking me?" " Stop it." " Just walk." " My eyes are closed." " Okay." " Bing!" "So... you can sing, do your demos." "Oh." " You." " You deserve it." "# Come to me #" "# When your world is empty and cold #" "# Come to me #" "# When you need someone to hold #" "# Come to me #" "# In my arms, I'll keep you safe and warm #" "# Come to me #" "# I will shelter you from the storm #" "# I'm not one to pretend #" "# Why can't you understand #" "# That I love you?" "#" "# And I love you #" "# And I need you #" "# And I want you #" "# Yes, I love you #" "# And I love you #" "# And I need you #" "# And I want you #" "# Yes, I love you #" "# And I love you #" "# And I need you #" "# And I want you #" "# Come to me ##" "Why you kissing it?" "Um, well, they're demo tapes, and, uh, I'm sending them to club owners." "I'm trying to get a job singing for real." "And the kiss just gives it a little bit of extra luck." "And trust me, honey, we can all do with a little extra luck in this crazy world." "You wanna kiss one?" "There we go." "This is the one." "I can feel it in my water." "# America, America #" "# God shed his grace on thee #" "# And crown thy good #" "# With brotherhood #" "# From sea to shining sea #" "I thought you should see this." "Marco says it's a picture of his two daddies." " "His two daddies."" " Oh, no, no." "That couldn't possibly be me." "I-I never wear canary yellow." "It makes me all pale and washed out." "Look, I personally don't care what your relationship is." "We don't have a relationship." "Like I said, I-I" " I don't care." "But people talk, and other teachers talk." "Other parents talk." "I mean, all it takes is one person saying something to the wrong person... and you could have a real pickle on your hands." "Yeah!" "Nice." "Top." "So" " I decided I'm gonna put you on the Franklin case." " Really?" " It's a big step." "Are you ready for it?" "Absolutely." "Thank you." "You know we're held to a higher standard at that D.A.'s office, right?" "Sure." "So I'm gonna ask you straight." "Can I count on you?" "You can count on me." "Good." "Take it out." "Oh, before I forget." "We're having a shindig at the house Saturday." " Can you make it?" " Sure." "Is your cousin and his kid still living with you?" "Uh, Kelly wants to invite them too." "Oh, we'd hate to impose." "Hey, trust me, it's not an imposition." "Come on." "Come on." " I know." "It's just" " I insist, all right?" "So stop flapping your gums" "And tell me you can make it." " Okay, I can make it." " Ho!" " You must be Rudy." " Enchanté." "Oh." "Such a gentleman." "What do you do for a living?" " I'm a performer." " I knew it." "I could just tell that you were an artist." "I could just tell from your energy." "You just have such an artistic style." ""Performer." That's a pretty vague answer, isn't it?" "What details were you lookin' for?" "This is Marco." "Oh!" "Can you give me five, Marco?" "Go ahead." "Give her five, Marco." " It takes him a few minutes to warm up." " Oh, it's okay." "Just make yourself at home." "Enjoy the party." "Honey, Phyllis is over there." "We need to go." "Yeah." " Hi, Mr. Fleiger." " Hey, Monica." " You remember Mr. Donatello?" " Yeah." "# Baby, please #" "# Don't leave me this way #" "# Ah, baby #" "# My heart s full of love and desire for you #" "# Now come on down and do what you gotta do #" "# You started this fire down in my soul #" "# Now can't you see it's burning out of control?" "#" "# Come on, satisfy the need in me #" "# 'Cause only your good lovin' can set me free #" "# Hey #" "# Don't, don't you leave me this way, no #" "# Don't you understand #" "# I'm at your command?" "#" "# Oh, baby, please #" "# Please, don't leave me this way #" "# No, no, baby #" "# Don't leave me this way, no #" "# I can't survive #" "# I can't stay alive without your love #" "# Baby, don't leave me this way #" "# Ah, baby #" "Poor, poor Lois Lane." "# My heart s full of love and desire for you #" "She has no idea that her mild-mannered Clark Kent... is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive... and able to leap tall cocks in a single bound." "# So come on, satisfy the need in me #" "So, what's the game plan here, hmm?" "We're gonna be, what... wrinkled, old queens still telling people we're cousins?" "Do you want to lose him?" "'Cause that's what'll happen." "That's discrimination, Paul." "No, that is not discrimination." "That's reality." "Good thing the black people had Dr. King instead of you." "Different situation, Rudy." "No, Paul, it is not." "# Hey, hey, baby #" "# Come and satisfy the need in me #" "# Oh, baby, come and satisfy the need in me #" "# Oh, baby, don't leave me this way ##" "Monica, what's wrong?" "What's wrong?" "Marco!" "Mar..." "Leave him!" "Marco!" "You have no right, lady!" "Bring him back!" "Sign on lines seven, 12 and 13." "We gotta get him back." "There's a 72-hour mandatory evaluation period." "There's nothing we can do until then." "Our son is God knows where." "He should be home and safe with us." "He's not our son." "Fuck you!" "You had temporary custody subject to the judge's" "Oh, fuck the judge." "Sure, fuck the judge, fuck me, and fuck the fact that I lost my job today!" "That's the best thing that ever happened to you." " Best thing that ever happened to me?" " Yo!" "You don't have to live a lie anymore." "Now is your chance to-to be you." "Listen, I spent the last 10 years of my life... studying, saving and busting my ass for that job!" "So pardon me if I'm not in the mood for your idealistic bullshit!" "You told me you became an attorney so you could change the world!" "Do you remember that idealistic bullshit?" "So here it is." "Here is your chance to kick open that closet door... and do some of that world changing." "Your Honor, we are requesting that Marco be released into our custody." "Your request is denied." "And after lying to this court about the true nature of your relationship... you are lucky that I don't charge you both with perjury." "Oh, please" "Respectfully, we ask that you consider the wishes of the mother." " You got him in some home when he belongs with us!" " Get your client under control." "Is this your idea of justice?" " Mr. Donatello" " We are talking about a human life here!" " Mr. Donatello" " A human life that you people don't give a damn about!" "Mr. Donatello, if I so much as hear one more word out of your mouth this morning..." "I will find you in contempt of court and have you tossed back into jail." "Now, I have already ruled on your request... and there is nothing that you can say or do... no matter how impassioned or dramatic... that will make me change my ruling." "So unless you have some other business before the court..." "I suggest the two of you find another venue in which to display your histrionics." "What if we file a petition for permanent custody?" "I will rule against it." "State code 143.56 prohibits you from making a determination... in a permanent-custody case without a hearing." "You are wearing my patience thin, young man." "Your Honor, I am simply trying to ensure... that an innocent child... isn't allowed to fall between the cracks of the system." "Please." " That's good news, right?" " Define "good."" "She agreed to hear our case." "A case we can't win." "Stop." "Stop it!" "Paul, I believe in you... and I believe in us, and I believe that no matter what, we have right on our side." "Okay." "I have a lot of prep work I need to get started on right away." "Mm-hmm." "Yeah." "I'll- I'll" " I'll help you." "I'll be your secretary now that you've broken Lois Lane's heart." " No." "There's something else I need you to do." " No." "No." " Rudy." " Paul, do not make me wear... the Ward Cleaver suit again... 'cause wool and me- it's just- It's" " Oh, it's like oil and water." "This is about your job." "It's about your job." "Rudy." "Look, I know, I know." "I get it." "But I talked it over with Paul." "For us to have any chance of getting custody, I can't be working as a drag queen." " So you're just gonna quit on us?" " Well, come on." "Please!" "She quit on us as soon as she decided to become a wet nurse for the little retard." " Don't ever call my boy a retard." " Rudy!" " Okay?" " Rudy, we go on in 20 minutes." "We cannot do this without you." "Sure you can." "You always wanted to be the star anyway." "How long have the two of you been in a relationship?" "Well, I-I-I guess that depends on how you define "relationship."" "We met in September, and, uh, that's when Rudy and Marco moved in." "And how long after you met did Mr. Donatello and the child move in?" "How long?" "I don't know exactly." "Well, why don't you just give it a good guess?" "Couple of days." "It was love at first sight, but we didn't want to rush into anything." "Dd you ever see Rudy and Paul wthout ther clothes?" "Did they ever touch you in your private areas?" "Did they ever hit you?" "Young man, unless you give me some answers... you won't be able to live with Rudy and Paul ever again." "Do you understand that?" "Do you want to live with Rudy and Paul?" "Did you ever believe Rudy and Paul's story that they were cousins?" "No, I did not." "And did you tell anyone about your suspicions that they were, in fact, homosexual lovers?" "Absolutely not." "Why not?" "Sir, I believe that we are all sexual creatures... and how the- the parents of my students choose to enjoy their sexuality... is no more my business than their personal finances." "But we're not talking about finances here." "We're talking about a lifestyle that most people would call deviant." "Objection." "Argumentative." "Sustained." "Were you ever concerned about the effect... that Rudy and Paul's lifestyle might have on Marco?" "No." "Interesting." "Nothing further." "Miss Flemming, would you share with the court your thoughts on Marco's progress at school?" "Well, if- if you merely look at his academic growth... it's clear that he- he flourished intellectually." "But I think the most interesting aspect... has been the improvement in Marco's social skills." "So, in your estimation, the change you've seen is in part due... to Mr. Donatello and Mr. Fleiger?" "Absolutely." "Mr. Donatello and Mr. Fleiger... are as compassionate and loving parents as I've ever seen." "What was your impression of Rudy and myself as parents?" "Well, I admit I did have my initial reservations... but overall, my impression was very positive." "And the home environment that we created for Marco?" "It appears to have been safe, comfortable and loving." " You evaluated Marco, didn't you?" " I did." "And did he express his desire to live with Mr. Donatello and myself?" "He did, very much so." "And would it be your recommendation that it would be in Marco's best interest... to be raised in our care?" "It would." "Can you tell us about your relationship with Mr. Donatello?" "I never had a relationship with Mr. Donatello." "I mean, he's cute and all, but he's definitely not my type." "How do you know Rudy?" "We used to work together, at Fabio's." "We had a female-impersonation act." "Which means?" "Which means we put on shiny dresses, wear makeup and wigs and lip-synch to songs." "It was tres sexy." "Did Rudy ever bring the child to the bar?" "Sometimes he would bring Marco to rehearsals." "Mentally handicapped child in a gay bar." " Wow." " Is that a question?" "No, no." "Just an observation." "Let's limit it to questions, Mr. Lambert." "He would only bring Marco there when the bar was closed." " I don't believe I asked you a question." " I know." " I was just trying to clarify." " Trust me, it's clear." "Now, did you ever see, uh, Rudy and Paul... kiss in front of Marco?" "They're lovers." "So the answer to my question is?" "Yes." "Okay, so they kissed in front of the child." "Now, are we talking a peck on the cheek... or was it something that your friend might call..." ""tres sexy"?" "When you're on the stand, just answer the questions straightforward and simple." "No Rudy-isms." " "No Rudy-isms"?" " No Rudy-isms." "I need you to be cool, okay?" "I will be cool." "As cool... as the other side of the pillow." "Let me see how cool your pillow is, mister." "Oh, Mr. Fleiger." "Oh, I'm very sorry to report, but... the underside of your pillow is quite hot." " I'm gonna have to take your temperature." " No." "No!" "Oh, yeah." "It's kind of hot down here." "I love you." "Yeah, I know." "Shut up." "Oh!" "Mr. Donatello." "Marco was in your care for how long?" "About a year." " And he's 14 years old?" " Fifteen." "He's 15 now." " His birthday's May 23." " Oh, that's right." "Fifteen." "So, Marco... for one year of his 15 years... was in your care?" "You formed a pretty strong attachment in a short period of time." "Yeah." "We fell in love." "Don't take long." "Clearly." "You moved in with Mr. Fleiger, what, the day after you met?" "Objection." "Relevance." "Sustained." "In the one year of the child's 15 years... that he was under your care... what kind of parental figure would you say you were?" "I would say I was a great parental figure." "Both me and Paul were." "Let's forget about Paul for now and focus on you." "What made you a great parent?" "I, um" "I cared for Marco like he was my own- our own." "We got him up every morning, made him breakfast... took him to school, played with him... tucked him in with a story every night." "We were... his parents... and we were damn good at it... and we would like to keep on doing it." "That's very clear, Mr. Donatello." "Did you, uh" "Did you call the authorities- the police or Family Services- after you first found out that Marco was left alone... after his mother's arrest?" "No." "I called Paul." "He is a lawyer, and, uh, I thought he would know what to do." "Oh." "And did you call the authorities... after he came back after running away from the foster home where he'd been placed?" "No, I did not call the authorities." "In fact, you and Mr. Fleiger... decided unilaterally to just keep the child." " Isn't that correct?" " His mom signed the papers that made it legal." "His mom, who's doing 36 months for a drug-possession charge." "Your Honor, a mother's incarceration doesn't deny her right... to make custodial decisions on behalf of her minor children." "Let's move on, Mr. Lambert." "Um, your friends testified... that you took the child to a bar called Fabio's." "They're not my friends." "So, did you or did you not take the child to a gay bar?" "Not when it was open." "So the answer is yes... you did take him to a bar that was frequented by homosexuals." "Yes." "And your friends also testified that you took part... in a female-impersonation act." "Was their testimony accurate... that during the time Marco was in your care... you wore a woman's dress and makeup for work?" "Yes." "Have you ever worn a dress and makeup in front of Marco?" "No." "No?" "You sure?" "Are you sure that that, uh, is the testimony you want to give under oath?" "Halloween?" ""Halloween"?" "What does Halloween mean?" "I, uh, dressed up like the Bride of Frankenstein." "Oh, so the correct answer is yes... you have worn a dress and makeup in front of Marco." " Your Honor, asked and answered." " Overruled." "Just answer the question." "It was a costume!" "Uh, Marco was wearing this, um, funny Frankenstein head." " Paul was a cowboy." " Mr. Donatello." "I asked you a very simple question." "Have you ever worn a dress and makeup in front of Marco?" "Yes, I have." "Did you ever once worry what effect that would have on Marco?" "No, I did not." "What is Marco's favorite toy?" "I'm sorry." "Did you say something?" "His favorite toy was his doll." "It's a girl doll, right?" "Dress, long, blonde hair, makeup?" "You know, you can twist the truth any way you like... but it does not alter the fact that Marco is a needy kid who deserves a family." "See, I'd argue that this is becoming less and less... about a needy kid who deserves a family... and more and more about a couple of needy men... who aren't willing to truly look at what is best for the child." "Oh, and you think you know what is best for Marco?" " You didn't even know how old he is!" " Mr. Donatello" "He didn't even know that Marco had a birthday last month, Your Honor- a birthday he spent alone!" " Your Honor, may we get a recess?" " No, Mr. Fleiger!" "Have you ever engaged in sexual activity in front of Marco?" " Objection!" "Relevance!" " Overruled." " What, you think we're child molesters now?" " You said it, not me." "Any fucking we did was in the privacy of our own bedroom!" "Mr. Donatello" "Look, just because we are different does not make us bad parents!" " This is such bullshit!" " You are out of order!" "How can you make a ruling... when all we've talked about is gay or straight or dolls or fucking dresses?" "Why aren't we talking about the real issue?" "This hearing is about Marco... who at this very moment is sitting in some foster home... and who will sit in some foster home forever... because no one wants to adopt him." "No one wants to adopt some short, fat, mentally handicapped kid." "No one in this entire world wants him... except us." "We want him." "We love him." "We'll take care of him and educate him... keep him safe and raise him to be a good man." "Isn't that what he deserves?" "Isn't that what every child deserves?" "I'll take your comments into consideration, Mr. Fleiger." "Yes, ma'am." "Thank you, Your Honor." "Ain't going to be much longer, and we're gonna have you out of there." "So you pack your bags... 'cause we are bringing you home." "P-Promise?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I promse." "After listenng to all of the testimony and reviewing all of the paperwork." "I'm prepared to make my ruing." "It's very clear that Mr. Donatello and Mr. Fleiger... have had a powerful and positive effect on Marco's life." "They have made numerous sacrifices... and they have ensured that all of Marco's needs were properly met." "However, I cannot ignore the other facts of the case." "While Mr. Donatello and Mr. Fleger obviously love the child." "It is this court's opinion that they have at times." "Subjected him to inappropriate situations." "And that their openly homosexual lifestyle." "Could be assumed by the child to be normal." "And could lead to confusion, sexual..." " Hello?" " Is this Rudy Donatello?" " Who's this?" " Miles Dubrow." "I own a club called 'The Spot in Hollywood.'" "I gotta tell you, I'm quite impressed with this demo." " You got a hell of a voice, kid." " Thanks." "Tell you what I'll do." "I can offer you two nights a week to start." "We can see how it goes." " I know it's not much, but" " I'll take it." "# You abandoned me #" "# Love don't live here anymore #" "# Just a vacancy #" "# Love don't live here anymore #" "# When you lived inside of me #" "# There was nothing I could conceive #" "# You wouldn't do for me #" "# Trouble seemed so far away #" "# Oh, you changed that right away #" "You're a lawyer." "Why don't you handle the appeal?" "We believe the judges and Marco's court-appointed attorney are biased against us." "Oh, so I'm your man 'cause ain't nobody in that courtroom got a bias... against a black man who knows the law better than they do, huh?" "Let me guess." "All them white lawyers you talked to before you came to me... didn't want nothing to do with this case, did they?" "That's 'cause they know you're gonna be judged by the dicks you've sucked... and not by the content of your character." " We can find another attorney." " Rudy, wait." "The word on you is you're a smart lawyer and a hell of a negotiator... who's not afraid of a tough case." "Well, your case is beyond tough, my friend." "We're well aware of our chances." "Frankly, it's damn near impossible to get custody as a gay man." "Frankly, it's damn near impossible to do anything as a gay man." "I have found several examples of case law... that I believe clearly support our argument." "Okay, gentlemen, let's talk some straight shit." "If I decide to take this case... everything you have ever said or done is gonna be fair game... when we walk back into that courtroom and we tell them... that the great and powerful Judge Meyerson has made a mistake." "And you think they were biased against you before?" "They gonna get some nasty dog who's gonna dig and dig and dig... until he finds every person you have ever fucked... every drug you have ever snorted, every street you have ever crossed... without waiting for the goddamn walk signal." "And do you know the one thing I cannot stand when I walk into a courtroom?" "Surprises." "So I'm gonna ask you guys some tough questions, and I need the truth." " Hello?" " Hello." "Uh, this is Rudy Donatello." "I was lookng after Marco for a whle." "Yeah, I know who you are." "Yeah, well, I was" " I was wondering if I could, you know, maybe talk to him... just find out how he's doing... and let him know I'm thinking about him." "Marco ain't here no more." "Your Honor, they have moved the child from a foster home to a state institution." "We're requesting visitation from our clients." "As the child's court-appointed attorney, I don't see any change in circumstance." " Can't recommend a modification." " Agreed." "Request denied." "If you simply weigh the interests of the child" "I said request denied." "Fine." "We'll be filing a motion to have this case heard in another court." "I will cite the deep and loving bond that clearly exists between the minor and my clients... their willingness to adhere to all conditions as stipulated by the courts... and, of course, your complete and utter unwillingness... to consider the best needs of the child." "This really the way you want to start, Lonnie?" "I don't know." "It seems like, to me, the ball's in your court..." "Richard." "Do you have supporting documentation?" "I had my girl type these up for you in the off chance that, you know, you saw things my way." "I'll approve one visit prior to the hearing- supervised, 30 minutes- not a second more." "You look skinny." "You getting enough to eat?" "Do they have doughnuts here?" "Well, no doughnuts." "No wonder you're down in the dumps." "Will you tell me a story?" "You want the one about the magic boy named Marco?" "With the happy ending, right?" "Okay." "Once upon a time... in a land far, far away... there lived a magic boy named Marco." "Gentlemen, I was looking over state law last night... and found that California allows adoption... by folks with a history of substance abuse and domestic violence." " Not us." " But not you." "Which I intend to argue quite passionately is a violation... of the 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution." "Of course." "That's brilliant." "What's-What's the 14th Amendment?" "The state can enforce no law which abridges the privileges or immunities of a citizen." "Nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction equal protection of the laws." "Which means what?" "Which means they're supposed to treat you the same as every motherfucker in this state." " What the hell is he doing here?" " Who?" "D.A. Wilson." "Probably just observing." "All rise for the honorable Judge Richard Resnick." "Okay." "Let's get right down to business this morning, shall we?" "Mr. Lambert." "I'm prepared to approve your motion to dismiss... pending the testimony of the mother." "Wait a minute." "What motion to dismiss?" "Have you coordinated with the D.A.'s office?" "We have, Your Honor." " What the hell's going on?" " I don't know." "Your Honor, you're dismissing my clients' case without any notice or explanation?" "When did she get out?" "Your Honor, I'd like to request a recess." "Request denied." "Excited about going home?" "Miss Deleon, I received your petition for reinstatement of custody." "Wait." "She wants him back now?" "Are you prepared to reassume the responsibilities as the child's mother?" "I need an answer- a yes or a no." "Yeah." "That's not my home." "That's not my home." "Miss Deleon has also filed a restraining order on behalf of her son... against Mr. Fleiger and Mr. Donatello." " What?" "Restraining order?" " The restraining order is granted." " Your Honor" " You gave him up!" " You signed them papers!" " Miss Deleon has served her sentence." " Do you know what you're doing to that kid?" " She's served her sentence!" " She's a junkie, Your Honor!" " She now has the legal right to petition for resumed custody of her child." "You're gonna let her have her kid back after how she done him wrong?" " Miss Deleon, you're free to go." " On what grounds?" " Your Honor" " This hearing is over." "You can't do this!" "You really need to consider what's best for the child in this case!" " This is a travesty of justice- a travesty!" " What did they promise you?" "What did they promise you, Marianna?" "Do you know what you're doing to that kid?" "This ain't right!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "That's not- not my home." "It's not my home." "D.A.'s office brokered the deal with her and Lambert." "They got her paroled early... as long as she was willing to fill out the petition for custody." "So what do we do now?" "Nothing you can do." "Mother wants the kid, mother gets the kid." "Ain't a court in the world that'll give that kid to you." "So go home, get on with your lives." "It's gonna hurt like hell at first, but time's a great healer." "If you're lucky, maybe the kid'll come see you once he's grown up... and away from the mother's control." "There is no justice, is there?" "You went to law school, Mr. Fleiger." "I'm surprised that's not the first thing they taught you." "That don't mean we stop fighting for what's right." "# Will ya be my girl?" "#" "# Be my girl #" "Hey, wait, wait, wait." "Wait, man." "We can't do this in front of him, man." "Come on." "Go out in the hallway till I tell you come back in." "Did you hear what I said, you fucking retard?" "Get out!" "Go!" "Go!" "Marco, babe." "Will you go out in the hall for a few minutes, baby... until Mommy's- until Mommy calls you back, babe, okay?" "# They say everythng can be replaced #" "# They say every distance is not near #" "# I remember every face #" "# Of every man who put me here #" "# I see my light come shining #" "# From the west down to the east #" "# Any day now #" "# Any day now #" "# I shall be released #" "Enclosed, please find a newspaper artcle." "You might have seen it when it was published, although I doubt it." "It was buried deep in the middle of the paper... not nearly as important as the front-page stores about rising gas prices." "Or presidental politics." "Just a few brieflines about a mentally handicapped kid named Marco." "Who died all alone under a bridge." "After trying to find his way home for almost three days." "Since you never got to meet him in person." "And since this article is short on details." "I wanted you to know who Marco really was." "He was a sweet kid and smart and funny." "He had a smile that could light up a room." "He loved junk food." "Chocolate doughnuts were his drug of choice." "He was the world's greatest disco dancer." "And he liked to have a story told to him every night." "As long as the story had a happy ending." "Marco loved a happy ending." "# They tell ya, they tell ya #" "# Every man must have protection #" "# And then they tell ya They tell ya #" "# That every man must fall #" "# I swear, I swear I see my own reflection #" "# Far beyond these walls #" "That's right!" "# I see my light come shining Come shining #" "# Come shining from the west down to the east #" "# And, oh, my God #" "# Any day now #" "# Any day now #" "# Any day now #" "# I shall be released #" "# Yes, I see my light come shining #" "# From the west down to the east #" "# And I swear #" "# I swear #" "# I swear, my love #" "# We shall be released #" "# I can't say good- bye #" "# To you yet #" "# Even though you have to go #" "# And get your jacket #" "# I can't say good- bye #" "# To you now #" "# Even though you have to go #" "# And throw #" "# The metaphorical blanket #" "# Over the symbolical fire #" "# Of my all-too-practical #" "# Heart #" "# I remember #" "# Holding your hand #" "# And not wanting to let go #" "# But I understand #" "# Then asking you up to my room #" "# And then walking up alone #" "# Away from you #" "# But stil, who knows?" "#" "# Perhaps the metaphorical blanket #" "# Was then set on symbolical fire #" "# By my all-too-practical #" "# Ungullible, indestructible #" "# And untouchable #" "# Heart #" "# I can't say good- bye #" "# To you yet #"