"Listen to that engine purr!" "Thanks to the cart, we picked up this manure in record time." "Yeah dude." "With this cart, there's no lame job." "Benson can give us that we can't handle." "Hey speaking of jobs, we're late for the staff meeting." "Punch it." "Oh, look who decided to show up." "Sorry, Benson." "As I was saying," "I crunched the numbers and the park has extra money this year." "Mordecai and Rigby, you can take this hunk of junk to the dump." "Whuh?" "'Cause I bought us this." "Say guten tag to the Smarten Karten." "Guten tag." "Modern, sophisticated, powerful." "These are three adjectives used to describe this miracle of German engineering." "This thing has 100 horsepower!" "A device that holds beverages." "No way!" "A butt warmer!" "Who needs all that stuff?" "Here are a few words to describe the cart." "Reliable, uh, classic..." "Won't smell like manure later." "These seats are vintage simulated vinyl." "And look at these classic details." "Those are stickers." "Dude, Benson, the cart's been at the park forever." "It's like the member of the family." "It's the eighth worker of the park." "That cart's engine is on its last legs." "It's releasing noxious gas fumes into the air." "We're not taking Muscle Man to the dump and releases noxious fumes all the time!" "No!" "He's not worth it." "Guys, guys." "I know you had a lot of good in that cart." "But it's not cost effective." "Who's gonna pay the bills for it?" "We'll pay 'em." "So, you'll pay the gas bill." "Done" "And the repair bills." "Not to mention insurance, tags, and the occasional tetanus shot." "Okay." "$2,000?" "!" "That's right." "Paid in full every month for the rest of your life." "You've made your point." "Now take the cart to the dump by the end of the day or you're fired!" "We'd better get going to the dump." "It's not fair, man." "It's not fair to the cart!" "Dude, I love the cart too." "But we can't afford to keep it." "Now let's pour soda on the hood, for old cart's sake." "Word." "Is it what it's like to be conscious?" "How is this possible?" "This is awesome!" "I'm happy also, Mordecai and Rigby." "Dude, you know us?" "You call us Mordecai and Rigby!" "Don't you have a name?" "Well according to the writing on my insides, it's..." "Hecho." "Hecho en México." "We'll just call you "cart"." "Wow my first nickname!" "A lot of good that'll do me, not if you take me to the dump." "I've only been alive for 30 seconds and I've already known that life is cruel." "And to think, I've still never felt a delicate touch of a lady cart." "I can't stand it!" "Cart, you deserve better than this." "Before you go to the dump, we' ll take you to experience all the things you've never got to do." "Wow you do that?" "For old cart's sake?" "Yeah dude, for old cart's sake." "So what do you wanna do first, cart?" "Well..." "I got to say cart, you're a pretty cool guy." "Right back at ya, Brodecai." "Mordecai, Rigby, are you there?" "Dude, dude, answer in a French accent." "What?" "No way." "Hey, Benson." "Wait wait wait, tell him we just picked up his mama." "Dude, shut up!" "You guy were do back hours ago." "Sorry, we..." "I don't care!" "Get back here or you're fired!" "Aright, we'd better head to the dump." "Where's cart?" "Ah!" "What?" "!" "Did he ditch us?" "Oh no!" "This is just like the time Benson had us take care of his dog." "Then we took the dog to Cheezer's then the dog ran away!" "Wait, there he is." "Cart, what're you doing?" "Sorry guy, I was just throwing away our trash." "Kinda like who's gonna throw me away." "You know, at the dump?" "Come on cart, it's not gonna like that." "Is that all I am?" "Just a... used-up taco wrapper?" "You know what make me feel better?" "What?" "If I can get a view of the sunset." "Yeah, that sunset is prime send-off material!" "Let's Goooooooooooooooooooo." "I don't know." "Come on buddy, just one more drive." "For old cart's sake?" "I can't say no to that face." "Wow, it's... magnificent." "Just seeing such beauty gives meaning to my short life, and even shorter life as a sentient being." "I really feel at peace." "That's great, dude." "Alright, let's get going." "You... you know I've never been to a... a car wash." "Yeah." "But we wash you all the time!" "No I mean a real car wash." "Look I know you won't understand because you are not a golf cart, but..." "I don't wanna go without experiencing this." "Then we'll get soaked." "Yeah... well I'm getting crushed." "Seems like the least you can do, with me being crushed and all." "Thanks so much guys, It really means a lot to me." "And now that I'm clean, I'm ready for my final wish." "Ah what?" "!" "You said the last thing was the last thing." "I promise!" "This is it!" "One last wish." "For old cart's sake." "Okay, fine." "But that's it." "Niiiiice!" "Let's gooooo!" "Where to exactly?" "You'll see." "Seriously, you dudes are gonna love this." "Family Restaurant?" "Why is everything in quotes?" "Hey, I ask for the dressing separate!" "Separate!" "Take it up with the complaints department, right here." "Puppies!" "Kittens!" "Puppies!" "Kittens!" "Hey, you're gonna order something?" "Engine oil, black." "I get it, oil's on me." "Dude, you should've just told us you wanna to find a oil change." "Hey, don't you know that grade of oil causes unnecessary wear impair on your engine?" "Oh maybe I got a death wish, pal." "Jokers like you should be taken to the dump." "You make me wanna puke!" "Jerk." "Okay... you got your last drink." "Let's head to the dump, it's getting late." "Oh this?" "This isn't the last thing." "Uh?" "!" "Then what is it?" "!" "Watch this." "I've always wanted to get into a fight!" "Aims fighting words?" "I hate this music!" "Who want some!" "Cart!" "Get lost!" "This is a decent family establishment." "Don't need you low lives of messing things up." "Wait a minute, where's the cart?" "I knew it, he ditched us!" "We should've taken him to the dump when we had the chance." "We're so fired dude!" "Mordecai look, an oil trail!" "There he is!" "Cart, what are you doing up here?" "I..." "I am so sorry you guys, I..." "I just didn't want you to see me like this." "It's alright dude, can we please just go to the dump right now?" "If I have to go, I'm gonna do it my way." "I want to be sent off this cliff, into the ocean." "Filled with fireworks from a third-world country, to go out in a blaze of glory." "That's my final, final wish." "That's... the coolest thing I've ever heard." "Alright, that's the last of them." "Thanks you guys." "Do you have any regrets?" "Well I never did write that novel, but I've seen things other carts wouldn't believe." "I've started an all-over board at family restaurant." "I've watched sun beams shimmer of the city from the highest parking ramp." "My only regret, is that I couldn't hold more fireworks." "Yeah, but it's still a lot." "Yeah it is!" "Let's get the show on the road." "Good luck, old friend." "Coolest decommission ever." "Totally cool!" "Mordecai, Rigby." "Hello?" "There's been an accounting error." "I forgot to carry a zero and it turns out we can't afford the new cart." "And the seat warmer gave Muscle Man third-degree burns on 70% of his butt." "We need you to bring the old cart back." "I bet you two're glad to hear that, you know, it wasn't such a bad old cart after all." "Let's go get him."