"Maybe you ought to come on inside." "Are you trying to glamour me?" " That doesn't work on me." " Why not?" "I don't know." "It just doesn't." "Is Bill available?" "Let her in." "fuck him." "You have. we have some business to attend to." "Where'd you find this?" "Damn." "She smells fuckin' sweet." "And to think just five minutes ago you were telling us how you were living mainly on synthetic blood." "You big poseur." "Malcolm." "She looks like a virgin to me." "you nosy bitch." "cupcake." "You wanna know why?" "Because virgin blood is the best-tasting blood there is." "second best." " The best would be..." " Baby's blood." "I get hard just thinking about it." "Ladies first." "Stop!" "Sookie is mine." "Synchro:" "SilverArrow et mpm" "True Blood Season 1 Episode 3 (v 1.0) I certainly don't wanna do anything to disturb your little arrangement." "That's why I always bring Jerry with me." "Wherever I go." "He's like mad money." "Somebody needs to get down on my johnson." "She's innocent." "She's mine." "we got it." "human?" "Can't you see how hungry he is?" "if you're hungry you're more than welcome to have some of Jerry." "suck it." "you fucking vampire asshole." "do it." "Let's see how you like hep D." "You fuckers ain't be able to move for like a year." "he has hep D!" "What is hep D?" "Fuckin' bitch!" "How does she know?" "{\There's no way.}I didn't tell a soul." "These fuckers killed Marcus!" "he never would have left me." "We would've been..." "This has all been very illuminating. and I'm sure we'll all wanna have a little talk with Jerry" "when he wakes up." "Janella." "We're being evicted." "Isn't anyone even the slightest bit interested in how this little bitch knew about Jerry?" "sweetheart?" "I could make her talk." "You forget." "She's yours." "Whatever." "you stupid bitch." "Nobody fucks with me and gets away with it." "I'm sorry you had to witness that." "Their visit was unexpected." "What's hep D?" "Hepatitis D is the only blood-borne pathogen to which we are susceptible." "Malcolm must be furious." "Hepatitis?" "A mutation." "oddly enough." "I've never even heard of it." "That's because we've kept it out of the media." "And it makes you sick for a year?" "Just makes us weak for about a month or so." "The biggest danger to us from hep D is being captured and staked during that time." "You don't want your weaknesses to be public knowledge." "Precisely." ""Sookie is mine"? and therefore I was the only one who could feed on you." "You must certainly cannot feed on me." "they'd have considered you fair game." "I wouldn't have been able to stop them from attacking you." "and Malcolm is older than I am and quite strong." "And you and Diane dated?" "We... had sex once." "back in the late 1930s." "What?" "Gross." "so..." "Evil." "they are." "They share a nest." "more vicious." "They become laws unto themselves. much more likely to hang onto some semblance of our former humanity." "Here." "Contact info for two electrical contractors." "They're willing to come out at night and give you quotes." "Thank you." " I have to go." " May I kiss you goodnight?" "I couldn't stand it after them." " Why you still here?" " I don't wanna go home." "y'all." "Dawn." " Night." "Can I have one of those?" "I guess." "Long as you're not on the clock." "You think Sookie's getting serious about that vampire?" "I think she's getting to know him." "I don't think she'll be getting too serious about him." "I think he's getting pretty damn serious about her." "How so?" "I was over at the Stackhouses' last night." "He came over to call on Sookie." "All cleaned up and smelling' nice." "Lookin' like he just stepped out of some piece of shit movie about plantations and shit." "Do you know he actually owned slaves?" "Least he could've done was apologize to me. interested in her granddaughter?" "She seemed like she was in seventh heaven." "It was fuckin' weird." "You know you don't have anybody to blame but yourself." "It's obvious you're carrying a big one for Sookie." "I've known it ever since I met you." "is it? she's not gonna make the first move." "Do I have to remind you that I'm your boss?" "Sam." "Don't even try to pull any of that "working for the man" shit with me." "and you know it." "How come you never have?" "How come you never said anything to Jason? which is unattainable." "Which is part of my whole fucked-up thing." "snore." "What's your excuse? not everybody likes to lay their guts out on the table like that. but they all dream about finding somebody they can do it with." "the funny thing is?" "I kind of did let Sookie know for the first time night before last." "Not even a minute before that vampire walked through my front door." "I would get in there right now while you still got a shot." "you wouldn't." "You just said so yourself." "She can't hear his thoughts." "For real?" "that explains everything." "I told her she can listen to my thoughts whenever she wanted to." "she doesn't wanna listen to anybody's thoughts." "She wants to not hear 'em." "But that requires constant work on her part." "And now she's met somebody and she can drop all that effort and just relax... you don't stand a chance." "but you don't." "you can go home anytime you want." "I can't." "Really." "God." "I don't like to wait." "I need to taste you again." "Jason." "I'm gonna get some more of that sweet stuff out of you." "I guess you don't have too much of a problem with that." "Don't fight me." "Because I will hurt you." "What are you to me?" "Just another idiot slut who puts out for vampires." "Here we go." "I know you liked it." "Slow down." "I'm in no hurry." "I just drained that poor fuck you left tied up to the bed." "by the way." "no!" "Which part of him?" " This isn't happening." " What do you expect me to do?" "You lay them out like an all-you-can-eat buffet." "Although he did put up quite a fight." "You!" "That is not funny." "That is not funny!" "You... baby." "Do it again." "Do it again." "Give me some of that sweet stuff." "Bill." "do not do that?" "I'm sorry." "It wasn't intentional." "I just got here." "I wanted to make sure that you were safe." "Why can't I hear your thoughts?" "Do you even have any thoughts?" "I have thoughts." "Many lifetimes of thoughts." "So why can't I hear them?" "I don't know." "Perhaps it's 'cause I don't have brain waves." "Why not?" "Because I'm dead." "talking to me." "I have no heartbeat." "I have no need to breathe." "There are no electrical impulses in my body." "What animates you no longer animates me." "then?" "Blood?" "How do you digest it if nothing works?" "Bill." "but I'm not." "And you need to remember that." "You think that it's not magic that keeps you alive?" "Just 'cause you understand the mechanics of how something works doesn't make it any less of a miracle." "Which is just another word for magic." "We're all kept alive by magic." "that's all." "I think we need to stop seeing each other." "Why?" "Because you don't breathe." "You don't have any electrical whatever-it-is." "Your friends would like to rip my throat out." "And because vampires killed that preacher from the Fellowship of the Sun church and his wife and baby." "You look me in the eye and tell me they didn't do it." "Humans have killed millions upon millions in senseless wars." "I do not hold you responsible for that." "I had to bury my bloody clothes because I didn't want my grandmother to find out I was almost killed." "I was almost killed again." "Why on earth would I continue seeing you?" "Because you will never find the human man you can be yourself with." "Do not touch me." "please." "Thanks." "So..." "Can I ask you a personal question?" "Sure." "Why is it you don't wanna go home?" "This right here." "My mama's a drunk. a waking-up-in-her-own-vomit kind of drunk." "I'm sorry." "I just can't be around her when she's gone like that. but I can't." "I won't. my guilt about it just makes it that much worse." " Why don't you get your own place?" " Why don't you give me a raise?" "Had she ever tried AA?" "She doesn't need AA." "She's got Jesus." "Can I ask you a personal question?" "Hold on." "All right." "Are you lonely?" "I am." "I am very... very lonely." "How come you don't have a girlfriend?" "Plenty of women in this town will go for you. you're not a serial killer." "Who could resist that?" " Why don't you have a boyfriend?" " We're not talking about me right now." "well..." "I just have a hard time that's all." "please." "What have you got to hide that's so fucking bad" "Tara." "and I mean it." "I'm not gonna do it." "Don't you ever get horny?" "Sure." "How long has it been since you've had sex?" "A few months." " That sucks." " How about you?" "three weeks." " That sucks." "You don't know." "well." "I guess you do." " You want another one?" " Are you kidding?" "I'm an adult child of an alcoholic." " I'll need at least three more." " All right." "I'll be right back." "Okay." "So maybe you and I should sleep together." "we're grownups." "No strings." " Friends with benefits." " You're my employee." "Aren't you sick of not getting laid?" "I know I am." "but that doesn't..." " You have condoms?" "That's a terrible idea." "All right." "Whatever." "I am not looking for a boyfriend." "Especially one who could fire me." "This would strictly be a one-time deal." "We never even have to mention it again." "Suit yourself." "{\You think}you'd be able to forget about it and not let it affect our working relationship?" "believe me." "I'd probably have to let you go." "Big deal." "Didn't even wanna hire me in the first place." "Great." "I know I do." "What's wrong?" "baby." "What is it?" "I hate that you've been with vampires." "And how exactly is that any of your business?" "They're fucked up." "They're freaks." "They're fucking dead." "letting something nasty like that even touch you?" "That was the best sex I ever had in my life." "And who are you to judge?" "You fuck anything with a space between its legs." "You told me I was the best sex you ever had." "And then you stopped calling." "And coming to Merlotte's." "And then I met that vampire." "Which vampire?" "crazy?" "he had a lot of hair." "I met him in Shreveport at the vampire bar." "And you just let him bite you?" "and I'm not..." " I'm not ashamed of that." " You ought to be." "You ought to get off your high horse." "Is that who you thought I was tonight?" "When you started rubbing up against me like a cat in heat?" "baby." "I knew all along it was you." "You're a lying sack of shit." "You would fuck that vampire and let him bite you" " if he showed up tonight." " All right." "Now this is getting boring." "And I think you should leave." "And you gonna throw me out?" "I don't think so." " This is my house." " And I go nowhere." "just because you lost your hard-on doesn't mean you have to have a fucking meltdown." "the world does not revolve around your dick." " Where are you going?" " To get a cigarette!" "It isn't like I don't know that you're a great fuck." "It happens to every guy at some point or another." "please?" "Every guy except for vampires." "you should be." "Jason Stackhouse. you better get your sorry ass out of here." "you are." "You are obnoxious and full of yourself and dumber than a box of hair." "And now you can't even get it up?" "There's no reason why I should be seeing you anymore." " You're fucking crazy." " You bet your sweet ass I am." "Now get the fuck out of my house." " Let me get my pants on." " I don't think I feel like waiting." "Get the fuck out!" "woman." "you get the fuck out of my house!" "Limp dick motherfucker!" "Go try your fucking grandmother with that limp dick!" "Bitch!" "I can get it up!" "Bitch!" "you heard me." "Your neighbor's a crazy bitch!" "Damn bloodsuckers." "Fuck!" "don't ever sneak up on a vampire." "What are you doing here?" "here's the deal." "And this is a little embarrassing. for all the reasons I told you about." "But I feel things when I'm with you that make me think." "one I will regret forever." "But it feels like you're the one I'm scared to death of you." "So can we just get it out of the way already so I can relax and get a good night's sleep?" "okay?" "Stop that." "You gotta be kidding me." "because of his campaign against the vampire agenda." "Theodore Newlin is a hero." " First casualty in World War III." " Amen." "It's Armageddon." " Amen." " Amen." "... I intend to continue my..." "feeding on the blood of animals like pigs and horses." "The vampire bat requires about two tablespoon..." "Damn it." "baby." "Damn." "I really liked Jerry." "Don't worry." "We'll find you another hot little blood bank." "Let's go down to LSU tomorrow night and raid us a frat house." "thick and juicy." "What luck." "Everyone's favorite buzz-kill." "Mr. Main Street." "Thirsty?" "Hungry for something else?" "I remember you having a very sizeable... appetite." "The three of you will stay away from me and Sookie from now on." "I'm your elder." "You have no authority here." "There are higher authorities." "I'm not afraid of Eric." "Higher than him." "she can speak to me." "She can suck on sunlight for all I care." "you were doing nothing to help out Carla." "Bill." "Not everybody wants to live off that Japanese shit either." "As if we could." "We have to moderate our behavior now that we are out in the open." "Not everybody thinks it was such a great idea." "And not everybody intends to tow the party line. what's the point of being a vampire?" "Where's Jerry?" "We left him on the side of I-20." "anyway." "I kept a souvenir or two. she made the ultimate sacrifice." "you all make me sick." "You used to be fun." "This all on account of that little blond breather? there will be consequences." "Asshole." "you dirty whore?" "Out all night doing all kinds of God-know-what." "child." "You ain't no child of mine." "Jesus." " Jesus ain't gonna help you." "That's been clear for quite some time." "You sass the Lord you hear me? ugly old bitch." "Shit." "I ain't ugly." "why do you wanna do this to yourself?" "he'd take one look at you and he'd apologize for giving me such a spiteful child." "You kidding? not with the way you smell." "let's just go and take a shower." "I'm gonna help you up." "Who's ugly now?" "All right." "You may have carried me but obviously you are now set on killing me. guess what?" "You lose." "You get back here." "You help me up." "old woman." "honey." "It's barely 9:00 and already 80 degrees." "Here." "I made you some lemonade." "Fresh-squeezed." "Gran." "what has got into you?" "that's all." " What?" "How long have you been..." " I started when the sun came up." "But I was out much earlier than that." "I just stayed inside." "Are you concerned about the vampire?" "Has he done something untoward?" "Not at all." "I'm just thinking..." "What I'm thinking is..." "is stay away." "But what I'm feeling..." "What I'm feeling with my whole body is something else entirely and I don't know whether to trust" "My head or..." "Heart." "that is a dilemma." "I cook you something? you ought to at least to have something in your stomach." "Thanks." "I'm not hungry." "I didn't ask if you were hungry." "I'm coming!" "Hell." "Beating on my fucking door." "Damn." "She hit me with a fucking liquor bottle." " My head is bleeding." " Will you stop yelling." "shit." " He in the shower." " Do you think I'll need stitches?" " Let me see." "You're gonna put some peroxide on that..." "Then take two Vicodin with a big glass of red wine." "baby." "By the time you wake up..." "All healed." "Here. two." " Mind if I stay here for a while?" " Does it matter if I'm around?" "Then do you." "Damn." " Everything I've done for that woman." " Poor baby." "Here." "Suck on this." "Here to make you feel a lot better." "This is my cousin Tara." "this is..." " Duke." "Duke Smith." "you are so not a duke." "Excellent." "For the road?" "All right." "Thank you." " Call me when the... comes in." " I will." "Ta-ta." "Take care." " What the hell was that?" " That was a state senator." "You're a prostitute now?" "I'm an entrepreneur." "What?" "I'm supposed to be satisfied being a fucking short-order cook and working on the road crew?" "Which is basically one step from the chain gang." "'cause he gives me this body." "And this body's gonna be my fucking ticket out." "It is." "How else am I gonna get ahead in this poor dump town?" "Already got a website." "Lafayette?" "You're a state-senator fucking prostitute and I'm a bartender in a redneck bar who fucks her boss who's in love with her best friend." "Here just take another hit off this." "Wait a minute." "You slept with Sam." "You know what?" "He barks in his sleep." "that's what I said." "my brother?" "hell." "Starbucks coming to Marthaville." "I wonder if I just break down and get a goddamn cappuccino machine." "Do you know what I really wish would come to Marthaville?" "Buffy." "A Blade." "Or any one of those badass vampire killers to take care of Mr. Compton." "That's what I wish." "do you?" "You just want to play." "One-track mind." "Ready?" "Ready?" "Go!" "Go get it!" "Marthaville's getting a Starbucks." "I cannot for the life of me see why anybody would spend $3 on a cup of coffee with too much milk." "Arlene told me that people are less calcium-deficient than they used to be because of all the fancy coffee they drink nowadays." "I never thought of that." "But it does make sense." "Gran." "Do you think I should continue seeing Bill?" "I can't tell you that." "I can tell you that I think he is handsome and very polite young man." "But of course he's gonna show his best side to me so that I won't stand in the way of his courting you." "He scares me." "it is scary opening your heart up to somebody." "I think it's a little scarier the vampire then... the regular guy?" "I suppose." "Bill is the first vampire I ever met that I know of." "Not scared that he would ever hurt me." "Scared because" "I don't know what he's thinking." "I would imagine that wouldn't be such a bad thing for you with your... ability." "your grandfather used to know things." "What things?" "running around behind their wife's back." "Sick." "That kind of thing." "Personal things they never would have told anybody about." "that's exactly it. darkest secrets." "I'm sorry." "That's just too much information. came back from Korea in real bad shape." "All torn up from the things he'd seen." "Earl knew he was thinking about killing himself." "He went over there in the middle of the night one night." "Francis was just about to kick the chair out from underneath him." "Already had the noose around his neck." "But Earl talked him out of it. whether it's a unique ability" "or a cup of overpriced coffee with too much milk." "Or a vampire." "God will reveal that purpose when the time is right." "Wait." "with a shotgun." "he did." "But that was years that... goddamn it." "Shit." "What the damn fuck?" "hello... hotness." "I need your help." "I am so glad you finally recognized that truth." "You're wearing gold pants." "what you need?" "Do you have any..." "Viagra?" "What?" "Viagra." "Do you have any Viagra?" "Seriously?" "I thought you had everything." "Viagra is legal." "You can buy it in the drugstore." "but I need it now." "Don't you have anything that would..." "Give you wood so hard a saw couldn't cut through it?" "that sounds good." "I think." "I do." " But it's very expensive." " How much?" "Six hundred a quarter of an ounce." "Get the fuck out of here." "What in the hell's worth that kind of money?" "When'd you start dealing V?" "When I realized there was a market for it." "motherfucker." "Do you understand me?" "The vamps don't take kindly to the juice dispenser." "Where'd you get it?" "Let's just say I have an arrangement with a certain life-challenged individual who appreciate my multi-faceted talents." "Goddamn." "Is there anybody who isn't fucking vampires these days?" "lover." "Do you wanna get it up and keep it up and have the best sex you have ever had for both you and your lady friend?" "maybe two drops of this." "No more." "I don't mean in a good way." "man." "Appreciate it." "Ain't nothin' free in my world." "Can I pay you later?" "I need to run to the bank." "who you think I am?" "I don't run a layaway program." "Lafayette." "Isn't there some way you can let me pay you this afternoon?" "I hate video cameras." "You know how much you could make if you had your own website?" "Queens all over this world would pay good money just to watch you jack off." "You said all I had to do was dance." "Dance." "Is anybody gonna see this who knows me?" "Probably." "There's a lot of pervs in this town." "man. do you want the V or not?" "Give me the fucking mask." "That's my Jason." "What the fuck?" "I like what you're working with." "Shake that ass." "you gonna make me clutch my pearls." "maybe." "Dawn still hasn't shown up for her shift." "I really need my day off." "I'm not asking you to come in." "I need you to run by Dawn's and wake her up." "She probably just overslept." "Sookie." "you overslept." "Are you here?"