"STATE OF MIND SEASON 1 EPISODE 05" "STATE OF MIND" "IT'S A TREE TRUNK." "NO." "THIS WAY." "IT'S A ROPE." "NO." "NO, NOT AT ALL." "I KNOW." "IT'S A SNAKE." "Cordelia:" "NO." "SO WRONG." "I KNOW." "I KNOW WHAT IT IS." "IT'S..." "IT'S..." "I KNOW YOU." "YOU'RE..." "AN ELEPHANT." "I COULD SEE IT." "MM-HMM." "YET I COULDN'T SEE IT." "IT WAS LIKE IT DIDN'T EXIST FOR ME" "AS A COMPLETE ENTITY." "JUST PARTS..." "LIKE A PUZZLE." "WELL, PERHAPS THERE IS A CASE AT WORK THAT HAS YOU PUZZLED." "HMM?" "PERHAPS." "REMIND THE GUESTS THAT THEY ARE TO ARRIVE NO LATER THAN 6:30." "IF THE HENS AREN'T SERVED ON TIME," "THEY DRY UP AND THEIR SKINS BECOME LIKE WAX PAPER." "HMM?" "AN ELEPHANT CAN ALSO SYMBOLIZE," "UM, WISDOM, STRENGTH, SEXUAL PROWESS." "NOT SO MUCH A PUZZLE AS AN AFFIRMATION." "HMM?" "GO." "ANNOUNCEMENT, EVERYONE." "NOT YOU, FRED." "TAJ, YOU'RE AMAZING." "ABOUT TONIGHT -- COME AT 6:30." "DINNER WILL BE SERVED PROMPT-- [ CHUCKLES ]" "LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DO THIS," "BUT SOMEONE NEEDS A REFRESHER COURSE IN COFFEE PROTOCOL." "IS IT SO HARD TO TAKE OTHERS INTO CONSIDERATION?" "THE POT IS EMPTY." "THIS IS NOT COMPLICATED!" "IF THERE'S NOT EVEN HALF A CUP LEFT," "YOU HAVE TO BREW ANOTHER POT FOR YOUR FELLOW CO-WORKERS." "THERE WAS HALF A CUP LEFT." "IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT FOR DRINKING OUT A BLOODY TIKI BOWL." "THIS IS A STANDARD-SIZE CUP " "NO LARGER OR SMALLER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S." "BOYS, BOYS, BOYS." "Fred:" "YOU'RE KILLING ME.YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ALLOWED TO DRINK COFFEE." "YOU OWE THE COFFEE KITTY 8 BUCKS." "FINE." "PLEASE BE PROMPT TONIGHT." "NO NEED TO BRING WINE." "HERE'S A MAP TO OUR HOUSE," "TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION TRAFFIC," "TIME OF DAY, AND ROAD REPAIRS." "TAJ, I'VE BEEN TO YOUR HOUSE BEFORE." "JAMES AND I " " WE'VE BOTH..." "THANKS." "AND PLEASE WEAR SOCKS." "SO, IS THERE A PARTY OR SOMETHING TONIGHT?" "OH, YOU'RE PLAYING PRETTY FAST AND LOOSE WITH THE WORD "PARTY."" "MORE LIKE THE WAKE OF A DISTANT RELATIVE, ONLY BETTER FOOD." "EVERY SIX MONTHS, ONE OF US HAS THE OTHERS OVER FOR DINNER " "WELL, OBVIOUSLY, NOT ME, BUT THE NORMALS." "IT'S A LONG-STANDING TRADITION" "BORN OUT OF A LACK OF IMAGINATION." "IT'S NO CONCERN OF OURS." "TAJ DOESN'T INVITE THE HELP." "OR LAWYERS." "TRUST ME, BOYS, YOU ARE THE LUCKY ONES" "UNLESS SMALL TALK, SPICY FOOD," "AND HOLDING IN A FART FOR TWO HOURS" "IS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD TIME." "GOT A SEC?" "GIVE OR TAKE A NANO." "I'VE BEEN NAMED GUARDIAN AD LITEM TO AN 8-YEAR-OLD GIRL" "IN A CUSTODY DISPUTE." "I RECOMMENDED YOU AS A PSYCHOLOGIST FOR THE CASE," "AND THE JUDGE WENT FOR IT." "HOW ON EARTH DID YOU GET TO BE GUARDIAN AD LITEM?" "WELL, I GUESS THE OTHER FOUR GUYS ARE BUSY." "AND HOW MANY OF THESE CUSTODY EVALUATIONS" "HAVE YOU DONE BEFORE?" "AFTER TODAY..." "ONE." "OH." "NO, I CAN'T DO IT." "I'VE GOT PATIENTS ALL DAY," "AND I'VE GOT THIS GODFORSAKEN DINNER TONIGHT." "PLEASE, I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP WITH THIS." "FINE." "BRING THE GIRL 'ROUND TOMORROW BEFORE NOON." "THANKS." "YOU'RE A PRINCE." "AND YOU'RE A BLOODY IDIOT." "WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?" "YOU SHOULD WEAR BLUE MORE OFTEN." "IT SUITS YOU." "I PREFER RED." "NO." "PULLS FOCUS, COMPETES." "IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO TALK WITH ME ABOUT " "THE COLOR OF MY BLOUSE?" "NO, BUT SINCE YOU'RE NOT COMING TO DINNER TONIGHT," "I THOUGHT WE SHOULD CHOREOGRAPH OUR EXCUSE." "UNH-UNH." "I PLAN ON COMING TONIGHT." "WHY SHOULDN'T I?" "YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY ASKING THAT QUESTION?" "LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING." "DON'T YOU THINK IT'S MORE CONSPICUOUS IF I DON'T SHOW UP?" "WE'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER ALMOST A YEAR," "AND I STILL HAVEN'T MET YOUR WIFE." "DO YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE WOULD NOTICE?" "MY ABSENCE." "BESIDES, EVERYONE KNOWS I CAN'T STAND YOU." "AND VICE VERSA." "AND WHO CAN BLAME ME?" "YOU'RE POMPOUS AND ARROGANT..." "AND DIFFICULT." "I KNOW." "WOULD YOU LIKE SOME APPLE SLICES?" "OKAY." "UM, ELLA, DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE TODAY?" "MY MOMMY AND MY MOM ARE GETTING A DIVORCE," "AND WE'RE NOT GONNA ALL LIVE TOGETHER ANYMORE." "ELLA, EVERYONE JUST WANTS WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU." "SO I'M HERE TO WORK WITH YOU AND THE JUDGE" "AND BOTH OF YOUR MOMMIES TO HELP FIGURE THINGS OUT." "DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU?" "GOOD." "NOW, UH..." "IF SOMEONE WERE TO ASK YOU WHERE YOU WANTED TO LIVE," "WHAT WOULD YOU TELL THEM?" "I LOVE BOTH MY MOM AND MY MOMMY." "I KNOW THAT, HONEY." "BUT IF YOU REALLY HAD TO " "YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE FAST FOOD." "PARDON?" "IT SMELLS LIKE A HAPPY MEAL, BUT NOT IN A GOOD WAY." "I KNOW I HAVE SOME MINTS AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE." "SHOULD HAVE SENT WITH THE DIRTBAGS I SENT YOU, SON." "YOU ARE SO OVER YOUR HEAD HERE." "SHE'S AN 8-YEAR-OLD." "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT AN 8-YEAR-OLD LITTLE GIRL?" "THIS SHOULD DO THE TRICK." "SORRY ABOUT THAT." "DO YOU HAVE ANY TOYS?" "YES, BARRY, DO YOU HAVE ANY TOYS?" "OH, BUDDY BOY, YOU MESS THIS UP, YOU COULD RUIN HER WHOLE LIFE." "WELL, I DON'T HAVE ANY TOYS." "BUT..." "I DO HAVE A MAGIC PENCIL." "SEE?" "I TURNED IT INTO RUBBER." "WHY DO WE KEEP DOING THESE THINGS?" "BECAUSE WE REFUSE TO LEARN." "WELL, LET'S GET IT OVER WITH." "IT'S LIKE A BLOODY CONCERT." "CORDELIA, PUSH IT AGAIN." "I WANT TO ASK ANNE TO DANCE." "HEY." "WELCOME." "HOW NICE TO SEE YOU, ANNE AND JAMES AND " "HELLO." "I'M CORDELIA BANKS." "OH, HOW NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU." "I'VE HEARD SO MUCH." "PLEASE, EVERYONE, COME IN." "Barry:" "CAN I GET YOU A WATER?" "UH, BOTTLED?" "I DON'T MEAN TO BE FUSSY." "I JUST FIND THAT TAP WATER..." "LISTEN TO ME." "WOW." "SHE'S A LESBIAN?" "WHAT A WASTE." "HEY, WHO DOES SHE REMIND YOU OF?" "OH." "OBVIOUSLY, UM, I'VE BEEN HIRED BY THE COURT" "TO REPRESENT THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD." "I'VE GOT IT." "SHE LOOKS LIKE YOUR COUSIN CECILIA." "HUH?" "OH, MAN, DID YOU HAVE A THING FOR HER." "I-I'M SO GLAD." "I JUST WANT US TO ALL WORK TOGETHER." "IT'S IMPORTANT THERE BE" "AS LITTLE INTERRUPTION TO ELLA'S ROUTINE AS POSSIBLE." "UH, IN YOUR OPINION," "WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE BEST FOR ELLA?" "WELL, I AM THE BIOLOGICAL MOTHER." "THE SPERM WAS FROM A MUTUAL FRIEND" "AND NO RELATION TO MY EX, ELIZABETH." "THE HOME ELLA LIVES IN IS MINE" "AND IN MY NAME." "AND LIZ WALKED OUT ON US." "I'M NOT THE ONE THAT WANTS THIS DIVORCE." "WHY DO YOU THINK LIZ WANTS IT?" "WELL, SADLY, I GUESS SHE'D SAY ALIENATION OF AFFECTION." "MEANING?" "LIZ STOPPED SLEEPING WITH ME." "AND..." "WELL, I'M A VERY SEXUAL PERSON." "BINGO!" "FINALLY, SOMETHING INTERESTING." "I GOT LONELY." "I MET A WOMAN " " A TEACHER." "WE HAD A LOT IN COMMON," "SO I THINK YOU CAN CONNECT THE DOTS." "I THINK I RENTED THIS VIDEO." "SO YOU HAD AN AFFAIR?" "YES." "WHERE DID IT TAKE PLACE?" "WHY DOES THAT MATTER?" "WAS IT IN THE HOME?" "DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS IT WAS THE CLOVER MOTEL." "COME ON, SAY IT." "SAY IT." "NEVER WHEN ELLA WAS HOME." "LISTEN, DO I REGRET IT?" "YES, VERY MUCH." "IT'S JUST..." "LIZ WOULD COME HOME," "KICK OFF HER SHOES, PLAY WITH ELLA," "TUCK HER IN, THEN CONK OUT IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION." "WE'RE HUMAN, RIGHT?" "WE NEED AFFECTION." "I GOT TIRED OF IT BEING JUST ME AND A GOOD BOOK." "HAD I KNOWN HOW PUNITIVE LIZ WOULD BE TO THE BOTH OF US..." "Barry's father:" "MAYBE YOU CAN HELP HER." "I MEAN, IF ANYONE KNOWS ABOUT NOT GETTING LAID," "IT'S YOU, RIGHT?" "CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CONSTANT WEATHER CHANGE?" "WE SET RECORDS THREE DAYS STRAIGHT." "AND YOU CAN THANK GLOBAL WARMING" "FOR YOUR HIGH ELECTRICITY BILL." "OR PERHAPS THE PLANET SIMPLY ADJUSTING ITSELF," "AS IT ALWAYS HAS." "THAT MUST BE A COMFORTING THOUGHT." "I DON'T NEED A COMFORTING THOUGHT." "IF YOU LOOK AT WEATHER PATTERNS OVER THE PAST 200 YEARS," "HIGHS AND LOWS IN TEMPERATURE ARE THE NORM," "AND SOME OF US DO PREFER TO WEIGH WARMER WINTERS" "AGAINST A TRULY SUSTAINABLE PROSPERITY FOR EVERYONE." "YOU GIRLS ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE A MOM WHO IS SUCH A GOOD COOK." "YEAH, THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE SAYS." "WHAT WOULD YOU PREFER, THE KYOTO PROTOCOLS?" "RATHER THAN SUFFOCATING UNDER THE OZONE LAYER?" "YES, I WOULD PREFER THE WACKY NOTION OF DOING SOMETHING." "OF COURSE, THERE ARE A NUMBER OF WAYS" "IN WHICH PEOPLE TAKE ON THESE LITTLE PROJECTS " "PROTECTING THE OZONE LAYER..." "REMEMBER WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER WAS CONSIDERED SAFE?" "I DIDN'T KNOW SHE EVEN GAVE A DAMN ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING." "UH, I-IT'S ALL RIGHT." "Cordelia:" "I CAN GET A PAPER TOWEL." "NO, NO, NO, NO." "NO ONE GOT HURT." "I'M SO SORRY." "I, UH..." "NO, IT'S NOTHING, REALLY." "I HATE LATE." "SHOWS NO REGARD FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME." "THAT WAS THE ONE BEAUTIFUL THING ABOUT YOUR MOTHER." "SHE WAS ALWAYS PUNCTUAL." "MY BROTHER -- YOUR UNCLE LESTER?" "FORGET ABOUT IT." "HE'D SHOW UP FOR THANKSGIVING ON NEW YEAR'S." "ARE YOU BARRY?" "SORRY." "I WAS PICKING UP ELLA." "I HADN'T SEEN HER IN TWO DAYS." "THAT'S THE LONGEST WE'VE BEEN APART SINCE SHE WAS BORN." "THAT'S THE DAD?" "SHE'S A TOUGH COOKIE, HUH?" "SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE CAN KICK YOUR ASS, SON." "UM..." "WATER?" "NO, THANKS." "I COULD NEVER GET BEHIND THAT SCAM." "MS. ELLIS, IT'S THE COURT'S UNDERSTANDING" "THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE CUSTODY OF ELLA," "EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT HER BIRTH MOTHER." "IS THAT CORRECT?" "YEAH, YEAH." "ALL RIGHT." "UM, YOU'RE EMPLOYED?" "SELF." "I WORK OUT OF MY BROTHER'S GARAGE." "I DO TECH SUPPORT." "HOW MUCH DOES THAT PAY?" "$30,000, $35,000 A YEAR." "UM, AND YOU'RE LIVING CURRENTLY..." "AT MY BROTHER'S." "I SHARE A ROOM WITH MY NIECE." "OKAY, OKAY, OKAY." "LOOK, YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT I DON'T HAVE." "BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ALSO." "THE HOUSE THAT MARY INHERITED" "IS CLEANED AND WAS REMODELED BY ME." "THE PRIVATE SCHOOL THAT ELLA ATTENDS " "I'M THE CLASS MOM." "HER FIGURE-SKATING LESSONS -- I TAKE HER." "WHO STAYS HOME AND TAKES CARE OF HER WHENEVER SHE'S SICK?" "I DO." "I DID NOT GIVE BIRTH TO HER," "AND I DO NOT HAVE A NICE HOME AS OF YET." "BUT I'M NOT HER DAD, HER FRIEND, OR HER AUNT." "I AM HER MOTHER EVERY BIT AS MUCH AS MARY IS." "AND WHAT'S NOT GONNA WORK FOR ME IS SOME 80-20 SPLIT" "WHERE I GET TO SEE ELLA EVERY OTHER WEEKEND, ODD HOLIDAYS," "AND SIX WEEKS OUT OF THE SUMMER." "I UNDERSTAND." "DO YOU?" "DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND?" "I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COULD." "IF YOUR REAL POINT IS BECAUSE I DIDN'T GIVE BIRTH TO ELLA," "I'M NOT HER MOTHER, THEN YOU'RE JUST PLAIN WRONG." "IT'S LIKE SAYING THAT THE HOME YOU LIVE IN" "ISN'T YOURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BUILD IT." "LISTEN, I DO NEED TO ASK YOU WHY YOU LEFT." "LOOK..." "PEOPLE MESS UP." "MARY SAID THE AFFAIR WAS OVER." "I'M AN ADULT." "THESE THINGS HAPPEN." "BUT I COULDN'T LIVE WITH A WOMAN" "WHO CONTINUALLY CHEATED ON ME." "CONTINUALLY?" "MARY HAD MORE THAN ONE AFFAIR?" "NO." "SHE NEVER ENDED THE FIRST ONE." "SO, AZITA, YOUR FATHER TELLS US" "THAT YOU'RE QUITE THE SOCCER PLAYER." "I GUESS." "I'VE BEEN THINKING OF ADDING SPORTS" "TO THE SUNLIGHT PROGRAM I RUN AT THE HOUSE." "WHAT'S THAT?" "IT'S A PROGRAM FOR UNDERPRIVILEGED GIRLS WITH NO PARENTS." "OR A FUTURE." "YOUR FATHER HAS NEVER BEEN A FAN OF MY PROGRAM." "DO YOU REALLY THINK SPORTS IS THE ANSWER FOR THESE GIRLS?" "IT'S ABOUT AS PRACTICAL AS PUTTING CLOTHES ON CHICKEN." "WELL, FLANNERY O'CONNOR DID -- DRESS UP CHICKENS." "NO OFFENSE, BUT AS WELL-MEANING AS THE PROGRAM IS," "IT MERELY REINFORCES THE VICTIM MENTALITY OF THESE CHILDREN." "AND SUBSIDIZING THEIR LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY" "WITH DISTRACTIONS LIKE SOCCER" "ONLY FURTHERS THEIR SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT." "HOW CAN YOU OBJECT TO SOMETHING YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT?" "THIS PROGRAM IS REALLY ALL THAT STANDS" "BETWEEN THESE GIRLS AND THE STREETS." "MEENA, THIS CHICKEN IS INCREDIBLE." "DO I DETECT MINT?" "I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST YOUR PROGRAM." "JUST DON'T PRETEND IT'S ANYTHING MORE" "THAN AN ADVANCED DEGREE IN FREELOADING." "I BELIEVE CORDELIA IS CORRECT IN HER ASSESSMENT." "NUMEROUS STUDIES HAVE SHOWN A DIRECT CORRELATION" "BETWEEN SUCCESS IN SPORTS AND SELF-ESTEEM." "THERE WAS AN ARTICLE THIS PAST NOVEMBER" "IN THE JOURNAL OF MEDICINE " "EXCUSE ME." "TAJ, YOU'RE INTERRUPTING MEENA." "PLEASE CONTINUE." "IT'S ALL RIGHT." "I'VE GOT..." "DESSERT TO PREPARE." "EXCUSE ME." "I PROMISE TO MAKE MY RECOMMENDATION SOON." "BELIEVE ME, I ONLY WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR ELLA." "Ella:" "OH." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "WHOA." "SHE'S A REAL NATURAL." "YEAH." "I'VE BEEN TEACHING HER." "REALLY?" "LOOK, IF YOU KEEP THINKING I SHOULD BE BOWLING" "OR FIXING MY PICKUP, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS." "* YOU'RE GONNA LONG FOR ME, BABY *" "* ONE OF THESE OLD RAINY DAYS" "* THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY..." "COME ON, MOMMY." "* THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY" "* BABY, THAT'S ALL RIGHT FOR YOU *" "YOU GOT HEAVIER SINCE LAST TIME." "YEAH, MAYBE ALL THOSE APPLE JACKS." "OH, PLEASE." "I USED TO DO THE SAME THING WITH YOUR SISTER." "SHE HASN'T TALKED WITH ME IN SEVEN YEARS." "IT DON'T MEAN A THING." "* ..." "BETTER THAN I DO MYSELF" "* COME TO FIND OUT BABY WAS LOVIN' SOMEBODY ELSE *" "* YES, YES" "I FEEL BADLY THAT YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING." "IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO?" "YES." "NEVER DEFEND ME TO MY HUSBAND AGAIN." "I'M " " I'M SORRY." "I DIDN'T " "PLEASE, GO BACK TO THE DINING ROOM WITH THE OTHER GUESTS." "Anne:" "ARE YOU DECENT?" "UH, YEAH." "COME IN." "WHEW!" "WHAT A SCENE OUT THERE." "HE ACTUALLY TAPPED THE GLASS." "NO EYE CONTACT, NO NOTHING." "IT'S HORRIBLE." "ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" "YES." "I HAD A, UM, HARD DAY." "DO YOU HAVE ANY DRUGS?" "I WISH I DID." "NO, NOTHING -- NOTHING AT ALL." "TERRIBLE HOSTS." "DID YOU NOTICE ANYTHING PECULIAR ABOUT JHASMINE?" "NOT REALLY." "SHE AND HER SISTER WERE WELL-BEHAVED ROBOTS." "SIX GLASSES OF WATER AT DINNER," "TOYING WITH THE FOOD ON HER PLATE," "POCKETING HER DINNER." "YES?" "WHAT'S UP?" "WHAT'S UP?" "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANKERS LEFT ME ALONE WITH THEM." "SO WHEN YOU FINISH POWDERING YOUR NOSES," "CAN YOU PLEASE GET YOUR ASSES BACK OUT HERE?" "DESSERT'S COMING, AND IT'S ON FIRE." "I'LL SEE YOU OUT THERE." "I'LL BE OUT IN A COUPLE SECONDS." "YOUR NOVEL?" "OH, I THOUGHT I SHOULD WRITE TO MEENA " "SOMETHING THAT COMPLETELY DISGUISES MY TRUE FEELINGS " "A PROPER THANK-YOU NOTE." "AH." "ABSOLUTELY." "SENT WITHIN 24 HOURS OR, AT WORST, WITHIN THE WEEK." "YOU MIGHT ALSO SEND FLOWERS." "ISN'T IT A BIT LATE?" "I MEAN, THE PARTY'S OVER." "EXACTLY." "YOU SEND FLOWERS AFTER THE PARTY." "OTHERWISE, YOU INCONVENIENCE THE HOSTESS" "WHILE SHE'S AT HER BUSIEST" "AND RUN THE RISK -- A HIGH RISK, I MIGHT ADD " "OF YOUR FLORAL ARRANGEMENT CLASHING WITH THE TABLE SETTING." "OF COURSE, IF IT WAS A CASUAL MEAL," "YOU SEND A NICE HANDWRITTEN NOTE" "ON YOUR PERSONALIZED STATIONERY." "THAT WOULD SUFFICE." "CAN I RUN THIS BY YOU?" "MM-HMM." ""DEAR MEENA AND TAJ, THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY DINNER." "THE CHICKEN WAS DELICIOUS." "BEST WISHES, JAMES LECROIX."" "THAT'S IT?" "THAT'S YOUR GRACIOUS NOTE OF APPRECIATION?" "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE?" "IT WAS A BLOODY NIGHTMARE." "PEOPLE HAD MORE FUN MARCHING ON MOSCOW." "THE MEAL TOOK ABOUT 11 HOURS," "WITH MOZART ON A CONTINUOUS LOOP." "GOD, I HATE MOZART." "TAJ AND CORDELIA" "HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING," "FROM WHICH I'VE STILL GOT A HANGOVER." "AND TO TOP IT ALL, I BROKE AN ANTIQUE GRAVY BOAT." "UGH." "ON THE PLUS SIDE, I DID LEARN FROM ANNE," "IN ONE OF HER MORE DESPERATE MOMENTS," "THAT FLANNERY O'CONNOR DRESSED UP HER CHICKENS." "OH, YES, AND TAUGHT THEM TO WALK BACKWARDS." "DON'T PUT THAT IN THE NOTE." "THINK OF ROCHEFOUCAULD." "ALL RIGHT, I'M THINKING." "WHEN YOU PICK UP YOUR PEN, WRITE ALL THAT SHOULD BE SAID," "NOT ALL THAT COULD." "IT'S NICER IN FRENCH." "I THINK I'LL SEND FLOWERS -- LOTS OF FLOWERS." "NOT TOO MANY " " YOU DON'T WANT TO BE INVITED BACK." "IT'S A SCRATCH ABOUT 8 INCHES LONG" "ON THE PASSENGER SIDE OF MY CAR." "I NOTICED IT THIS MORNING." "I NEED TO TALK WITH YOU." "CAN I CALL YOU BACK?" "THANK YOU." "VANDALS TOOK A QUARTER TO THE PASSENGER SIDE OF MY CAR." "MEENA KNOWS." "KNOWS WHAT?" "ARE YOU DELIBERATELY BEING STUPID?" "MEENA KNOWS ABOUT US." "WHY?" "WHY DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?" "BECAUSE OF YOUR EXCHANGE IN THE KITCHEN?" "PLEASE." "DO NOT WAVE ME OFF LIKE I'M SOME HYSTERIC." "SHE KNOWS." "LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I KNOW." "BY DEFENDING MY WIFE TO ME, HER HUSBAND, YOU INSULTED HER." "BY BRINGING YOUR EMPTY PLATE INTO THE KITCHEN," "YOU INDICATED THAT SHE DIDN'T SERVE YOU WELL ENOUGH." "BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT." "EXACTLY." "IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING, NOTHING MORE." "SO LET'S MOVE ON, SHALL WE?" "YOU'RE BLIND." "YOU CAN'T SEE IT" "BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN THAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT," "AND WE ALL KNOW HOW UNPLEASANT THAT IS FOR YOU." "I'M AFRAID IT'S YOU WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND." "MEENA'S KITCHEN IS HER DOMAIN." "YOU WERE TRESPASSING." "BUT IF YOU'D LIKE TO CONTINUE YOUR PROJECTION," "WE CAN SET A TIME LATER TO DISCUSS IT." "RIGHT NOW, I HAVE CALLS TO RETURN." "PROJECTION?" "WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT?" "YOU'RE 35, DIVORCED, AND CHILDLESS." "IT'S NOT OUT OF THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY" "THAT YOU MIGHT FEEL JEALOUS AND REACT THIS WAY." "DO NOT TALK DOWN TO ME." "I AM NOT YOUR WIFE." "LUCKY ME." "YOU HAVE TO CROWN ME." "DAMN!" "OH!" "SORRY." "I WON'T TELL." "MOM SAYS PEOPLE WHO USE SWEARWORDS AREN'T SMART ENOUGH" "TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES WITH REGULAR WORDS." "OR THEY'RE PEOPLE WHO HAVE JUST BEEN DOUBLE-JUMPED TWICE" "IN A LIFE-AND-DEATH GAME OF CHECKERS." "I'M JUST REALLY GOOD AT CHECKERS." "YOU WON'T GET ANY ARGUMENT FROM ME." "I'M JUST REALLY GOOD." "OKAY, YOU WIN AGAIN." "I'M GONNA PACK UP." "WHICH OF YOUR MUMS SAYS THAT THING ABOUT SWEARING?" "MY MOM." "MOM IS MY MOM MARY, AND MOMMY IS MY MOMMY ELIZABETH." "AND HOW DID YOU GET SO GOOD AT CHECKERS?" "DID YOU GO TO CHECKERS CAMP OR SOMETHING?" "NO, MOMMY TAUGHT ME." "MOMMY ELIZABETH?" "YEAH." "LAST SATURDAY, I WON FOUR TIMES FROM MOMMY," "AND SHE ONLY WON ONCE, SO SHE HAD TO TAKE ME FOR ICE CREAM." "SO I HAD CHOCOLATE WITH SO MANY JIMMIES ON IT," "AND I GOT A STOMACHACHE." "SO MOMMY RUBBED MY BELLY, AND WE WATCHED "LITTLE MERMAID,"" "AND I GOT TO WEAR MY COWBOY PAJAMAS" "WITH MY PINK BALLERINA T-SHIRT..." "AND MY BALLET SLIPPERS ON," "EVEN THOUGH MOM SAYS I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO," "BECAUSE I COULD OVERHEAT, FAINT, THROW UP," "AND CHOKE AND DIE IN MY SLEEP." "IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A LOT OU FUN WITH YOUR MUMMY." "YEAH." "SHE'S THE BOMB-DOT-COM." "AND WHAT KIND OF FUN DO YOU HAVE WITH YOUR MUM?" "WELL, SHE HAS TO WORK A LOT" "SO WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS AND A ROOF OVER OUR HEADS." "BUT SOMETIMES WHEN SHE DOESN'T WORK LATE," "SHE COMES HOME AND WATCHES "WALKING WITH THE DINOSAURS"" "WITH MOMMY AND ME." "THAT SOUNDS GOOD." "YEAH." "HEY." "LOOK AT THE LITTLE DOLLY." "SHE IS SO CUTE." "WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE A MOMMY" "AND HAVE A LITTLE GIRL JUST LIKE MY MOMMY." "OH, DAMN IT!" "HEY." "WHY IS IT SO INCREDIBLY HARD TO STOCK PAPER TOWELS?" "OH." "HERE." "IT'S NOT WHERE THEY GO." "I'M SORRY." "AH, FORGET IT." "TOMORROW IT'LL BE MY TURN." "ARE " " ARE WE OKAY?" "ABOUT YOU SLEEPING WITH MY EX?" "WE'RE NOT NOT OKAY." "GOOD, BECAUSE IT'S, UH..." "STOP IT." "FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO WORK THROUGH YOUR GUILT WITH." "RIGHT." "MAY I RUN SOMETHING BY YOU?" "YES, YOU MAY." "I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT AT TAJ'S" "AND WONDERING IF SOMEONE SHOULD BRING UP JHASMINE." "SHE IS OBVIOUSLY IN THE EARLY STAGES OF AN EATING DISORDER." "BUT IF THEY CATCH IT NOW," "IT COULD SAVE THE FAMILY A WHOLE LOT OF HEARTBREAK." "SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?" "SHOULD WE TALK TO HIM?" "WE?" "COME ON." "YOU KNOW TAJ." "IF I TALK TO HIM, HE'S GONNA BLOW ME OFF AS AN ALARMIST." "NO, I'M NOT INTERESTED." "BUT YOU SAW HER." "YOU SAW HOW SHE ACTED." "I DON'T THINK WE CAN IGNORE IT." "I'D RATHER PICK COTTON." "OKAY." "HOW ABOUT GOING TO MEENA?" "MEENA?" "AND SAY WHAT?" ""THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL DINNER." "BY THE WAY, YOUR DAUGHTER IS DISAPPEARING"?" "NO, THANKS." "BUT YOU, HELPY HELPERPANTS," "BY ALL MEANS, GO RIGHT AHEAD." "SLIP INTO YOUR CAPE, PUT YOUR MASK ON, YOUR WHITE GLOVES," "AND DASH RIGHT ON OVER TO THEIR HOUSE." "GOOD LUCK." "I'M GOING WITH AN 80-20 SPLIT" "WITH MARY AS THE PRIMARY PARENT." "BASED ON?" "WELL, SHE'S MORE PUNCTUAL," "AND ELIZABETH WAS MORE THAN 10 MINUTES LATE FOR OUR MEETING." "SO SHE WAS 10 MINUTES LATE," "AND YOU'RE GONNA TAKE AWAY HER CHILD?" "WOULDN'T IT BE FAIRER JUST TO CHOP HER HAND OFF FIRST," "YOU KNOW, AS A WARNING?" "DID YOU ASK HER WHY SHE WAS LATE?" "IT'S NOT MY CONCERN." "IT IS." "IT'S ALL YOUR CONCERN." "YOUR LACK OF CURIOSITY IS ABSOLUTELY STAGGERING." "ELIZABETH WAS LATE BECAUSE HER CAR WAS IN THE SHOP" "AND SHE HAD TO BORROW HER BROTHER'S." "BUT FIRST, SHE HAD TO DROP HIM OFF AT WORK" "BEFORE SHE COULD PICK UP ELLA." "EXACTLY." "SHE'S IN OVER HER HEAD." "YOU'RE MAKING MY ARGUMENT FOR ME." "LOOK, I THINK SHE'S A GOOD PERSON," "BUT MARY IS CLEARLY BETTER ABLE TO " "HAVE YOU CHECKED WITH ELLA'S BABYSITTER ABOUT THE FAMILY?" "NO." "HOW ABOUT HER SCHOOLTEACHERS OR FIGURE-SKATING COACH?" "[ SIGHS ] NO, I HAVE NOT." "BUT MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED UNDERMINING MY COMPETENCE " "MY APOLOGIES, BARRY," "BUT MAKING YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOU IS YOUR MUM'S JOB, NOT MINE." "I'M JUST HERE TO TELL YOU YOU ARE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE." "HAVE YOU EVEN READ MY WRITE-UPS ON THE PARENTS?" "WHAT, THE 20 PAGES ON MARY AND THE EIGHT ON ELIZABETH?" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING." "YOU THINK YOU'RE USING COMMON SENSE." "YOU KNOW, PRETTY ONE WITH BOUNCY CURLS " " MUM." "LESBO WITH CHUCK TAYLORS -- AUNT DAD." "THAT'S NOT COMMON SENSE." "THAT'S JUST BLOODY PREJUDICE." "I DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS RIGHT." "YEAH, THAT'S CLEAR." "LIMEY BASTARD." "I TALKED WITH THE JUDGE." "I CONVINCED HIM THAT A 50-50 CUSTODY SPLIT" "WAS WHAT'S BEST FOR ELLA." "OKAY?" "EVERYONE WINS." "NOT EVERYONE." "A 50-50 SPLIT IS ABOUT MAKING THE PARENTS FEEL GOOD," "NOT THE KIDS." "WHO LOVES 50-50?" "WHY CAN'T WE JUST ACKNOWLEDGE" "THAT CHILDREN, LIKE THE REST OF US," "ARE USUALLY CLOSER TO ONE PERSON THAN ANOTHER?" "SO WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO PICK?" "PICK THE BETTER PARENT AND LET THE OTHER ONE SUFFER." "CHOOSE THE CHILD, BARRY." "MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THIS JOB." "YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT ABOUT THAT." "BUT I DID, AND I NEEDED YOUR HELP," "AND YOU TURNED IT INTO A GAME OF CHICKEN." "MY BEING WRONG AND YOUR POINTING IT OUT" "WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN HELPING ME GET IT RIGHT." "THE REAL REASON YOU GET ALONG SO WELL WITH 8-YEAR-OLDS" "IS BECAUSE YOU'RE AN 8-YEAR-OLD." "COUNSEL, JUST A THOUGHT." "UH, IN THE FUTURE, STICK TO THUGS." "YOUR INSTINCTS ON FIRST IMPRESSIONS" "WILL BE BETTER SERVED THERE." "THIS IS A JOB FOR HELPY HELPERPANTS." "ALLOW ME." "ANNE." "I THOUGHT I HEARD SOMEONE KNOCK." "I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR LAST NIGHT." "IT WAS SUPERB." "MEENA'S CHICKEN WAS " "YOU'LL FIND NO GREATER FAN OF MEENA'S CHICKEN THAN MYSELF." "I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS " "ON THAT I'M SURE WE'RE IN TOTAL AGREEMENT." "BUT I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE" "WHAT LITTLE APPETITE JHASMINE HAS." "AND?" "I THINK SHE MAY BE IN THE EARLY STAGES" "OF AN EATING DISORDER." "SHE WATCHES WHAT SHE EATS." "THAT'S CALLED SELF-DISCIPLINE, NOT AN EATING DISORDER." "YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN TREATING ADOLESCENT GIRLS FOR A WHILE." "THEY'RE A GOOD PORTION OF MY PRACTICE." "EXACTLY." "YOU SEE ALL GIRLS THROUGH THE PRISM OF PATHOLOGY." "TAJ, YOU SAW HOW MANY GLASSES OF WATER SHE DRANK AT DINNER," "THE WAY SHE WAS HIDING HER FOOD WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING." "THANK YOU." "THANK YOU." "BUT I THINK I KNOW MY DAUGHTER BETTER THAN YOU DO." "BARRY WHITE." "WHAT?" "IS THE GIRL ALL RIGHT?" "YEAH." "YEAH, I HAVE THE ADDRESS." "I'M ON MY WAY." "I NEED YOU TO COME WITH ME." "ELLA CALLED 911 AND SAID MARY WAS BEATING HER." "SORRY." "WHAT DID SHE SAY?" "THAT MARY BEAT HER FOR NOT WASHING THE DISHES." "SHE WAS CALLING, CRYING, LOCKED INSIDE THE BATHROOM." "COME ON." "I'M BARRY WHITE, THE ATTORNEY IN THE CASE." "THIS IS DR. LECROIX, CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST IN THE CASE." "HOW YOU DOING?" "WHERE'S ELLA?" "SHE'S, UH, SHE'S PRETTY RATTLED." "SHE'S UPSTAIRS WITH MY PARTNER." "WHERE'S THE MOTHER?" "KITCHEN." "AND NONE TOO HAPPY." "WHAT HAPPENED?" "911 CALL FROM THE GIRL -- SAID HER MOM KNOCKED HER AROUND" "'CAUSE SHE HADN'T DONE THE DISHES." "WE GOT HERE." "SHE CLAMMED UP." "HASN'T SAID A WORD." "NOW, THE MOM -- SHE WENT BALLISTIC." "ALCOHOL?" "SOME WINE." "SHE'S NOT DRUNK." "THE LITTLE GIRL, UH, SHE'S SCARED TO DEATH." "BUT THERE'S NOT A MARK ON HER." "CAN WE SEE HER?" "SURE." "UH, BRING DOWN THE LITTLE GIRL." "OH, WE, UH, CONTACTED..." "THE OTHER MOTHER." "SHE'S ON THE WAY." "[ Crying ] JAMES." "Mary:" "IS THAT ELLA?" "[ Crying ] LET ME SEE MY DAUGHTER." "MARY." "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME." "I WANT MY" "MARY, STOP!" "" " ELLA!" "STOP." "THIS IS NOT HOW TO HANDLE THIS." "I NEVER HIT HER." "Elizabeth:" "ELLA!" "ELLA!" "ELLA BABY!" "Elizabeth:" "ELLA." "OH, COME HERE." "YOU ALL RIGHT?" "YOU OKAY?" "OKAY." "EVERYONE, PLEASE GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR HOUSE." "YOU'RE UPSETTING MY FAMILY." "ELLA, SWEETHEART..." "IT'S OKAY." "YOU MISSED YOUR MUMMY, AND YOU MADE THE CALL," "AND THAT'S ALL RIGHT." "BUT NOW YOU JUST HAVE TO TELL THE TRUTH," "AND THE POLICE WILL GO AWAY." "SO, DID ANYBODY AT ANY TIME HIT YOU?" "IT'S OKAY, BABY." "JUST TELL HIM." "NOBODY HIT ME." "IT'S OKAY." "AND I " " I DON'T KNOW IF TAJ TOLD YOU," "BUT I JUST -- THE OTHER NIGHT WAS JUST " "IT WAS WONDERFUL." "IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DINNER." "MEENA, I KNOW THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS," "SO PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGIES UP FRONT." "I " " I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE" "JHASMINE'S DRAMATIC WEIGHT LOSS FROM JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO." "I DEAL WITH A LOT OF GIRLS WHO HAVE EATING DISORDERS," "AND BOTH CORDELIA AND I -- WE FELT " "WHAT IS IT WITH THIS COUNTRY AND ITS OBSESSION WITH WEIGHT?" "TOO FAT, TOO THIN." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "I KNOW, I KNOW." "JHASMINE IS NO DIFFERENT" "THAN THE OTHER GIRLS THAT SHE PLAYS WITH." "THEY ARE ALL LIKE STICKS." "IT'S AN AMERICAN THING." "WHAT, DO YOU THINK I DO NOT FEED HER?" "I..." "I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY SHE EATS." "I TRY TO TALK TO HER ABOUT IT." "I " " I DON'T..." "HAVE YOU TALKED WITH TAJ ABOUT IT?" "[ SIGHS ] TAJ." "HIS CHILDREN ARE PERFECT." "I DO UNDERSTAND." "I BROUGHT OVER SOME LITERATURE, WHICH YOU CAN READ OR NOT." "AND THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME INTRUDE." "STAY." "PLEASE?" "LET'S FINISH OUR TEA." "MY BABY HATES ME." "MARY, SHE DOESN'T HATE YOU." "SHE CALLED THE POLICE." "SHE TOLD THEM I WAS BEATING HER." "[ Voice breaking ] SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME." "[ Sobbing ] I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY BABY." "LOOK, ELLA LOVES BOTH OF YOU." "SHE REALLY DOES." "BUT FOR A CHILD WHO LOVES BOTH HER PARENTS," "IT'S BEST WHEN THEY'RE TOGETHER." "SO A DIVORCE, EVEN A CIVILIZED ONE, IS A CRISIS." "THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER IS ALL SHE'S EVER KNOWN." "WHAT " " WHAT WILL MAKE IT WORK FOR ELLA?" "WELL, THERE'S NO MAGIC EQUATION, MARY." "NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, YOU'RE SLICING UP THE BABY." "WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO" "IS GONNA TAKE ELLA A WHILE TO GET USED TO." "I'M ENDING THIS CUSTODY BATTLE." "WHAT?" "THAT'S IT." "WE'RE NOT SLICING UP ELLA." "REALLY?" "DOES THAT MEAN YOU DON'T WANT A DIVORCE?" "I SWEAR, LIZ, I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU." "IT'S TOO LATE." "I'LL MOVE INTO THE GUEST ROOM." "AND NEITHER OF US BRING ANY DATES HOME." "I GOT TO TELL YOU..." "I LIKE THE DADDY BETTER." "GOOD NIGHT." "GOOD NIGHT." "NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED." "NO NEED TO THANK ME." "* I'VE SPENT A LIFETIME, MAKING UP MY MIND TO BE *" "* MORE THAN THE MEASURE OF WHAT I THOUGHT OTHERS COULD SEE *" "AH, WELL." "* GOOD LUCK AND FAST BUCKS" "COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE." "* AN OLD FIVE AND DIMER IS ALL I INTENDED TO BE *" "WHAT'S THIS?" "ANNE BELLOWES CAME BY TODAY." "SHE BELIEVES OUR JHASMINE HAS AN EATING DISORDER." "SHE CAME TO OUR HOUSE?" "I READ THE LITERATURE, AND I WENT ONLINE." "JHASMINE HAS A PROBLEM." "AND AS HER PARENTS," "IT IS UP TO US TO FIND HER PROPER HELP." "ANNE'S DIAGNOSIS IS ONE PERSON'S OPINION." "SHE SEES SICKNESS EVERYWHERE." "IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING." "ACTUALLY, IT'S TWO PEOPLE'S DIAGNOSIS." "DR. BANKS, THE WOMAN YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH," "SHE ALSO AGREES WITH HER."