"('Come back' by J GeIls Band)" "Grown ups 2010 subtitles by greeneagle5" "(roaring) # when you left me # # all alone #" "(whistle blows)" "Double dribble" " Why?" "because I'm black" "Yeah, that's what I thought # on my own # # tell me and tell me, whatcha gonna do?" "# # tell me pretty baby # # because I'm still In love with you # # come back (baby) # # come back (won't you come back to me) # # come back (baby) # # come back #" "Ten seconds left Come on!" "we need a basket" "Play one Play one" "Kurt, Kurt, Kurt Here" "bring It In" "Banks open Lenny" "Great hoop" "his foot was on the line" "first off, I'd like to thank the Earnshaw family for..." "lending us their beautiful lakehouse to help us celebrate our victory" "Yeah!" "the Fernando five Is Dyn-o-mIte!" "You're drunk Dad" " Yeah" "Hey, we're here to celebrate the kids shots, not your shots" "(all laughing)" "Anyway, I want to talk about what you kids did this afternoon" "You know, you played the game just like I always asked you to" "You left everything you had out there on that court" "So when the final buzzer went off (ImItates buzzer)" "You were champions" "I want you to promise me something" "I want you to play life just like you played that game today" "So when that final buzzer of life goes off (ImItates buzzer)" "You'll have no regrets" "Here's to coach" "(all imitate buzzer)" "(laughter and applause)" "You're my first champions my first champions" "stick together" "(video game) time to die!" "(gunshots)" "I am the biggest agent In Hollywood and you just pissed me off!" "and now I'll pull Brad PItt from your movie" "I'll pull julia Roberts from your movie!" "I don't care Sandy" "That's right." "You better back down" "Thank you" "Have a good Fourth of July all right, love you too" "What's up boys?" "Hey!" "Greggy, KeIthIe" "You guys ever hear of a game called chutes and ladders?" "Pretty awesome game" "I used to play It when I was a kid" "What It Is, Is..." "they give you a spinner and you spin." "If you land on a ladder" "You get to climb up the ladder." "If you land on a chute you got to slide down the chute and start all over again" "Yeah what happens?" "The winner gets a training bra?" "Yeah dad, that game sounds like It sucks" "No, I'm telling you." "this Is like the greatest game." "Me and my buddies would play It on a winter day." "We'd go down to the basement and drink hot chocolate" "I wouldn't mind a hot chocolate right now" "Hey rita!" "rita!" "Dude you gotta text her She's doing laundry" "Hey Dad, we went to SpIelbergs' house yesterday" "They have a 150" TV" "Could we get one of those?" "You know what?" "When you direct E.T. I'll get you one of those" "(video game) Beg for mercy" "What Is the object here?" "I don't get It" "You're on a cruise ship and...and you chop peoples heads off with a chainsaw?" " Oh!" ", and you can drown them" "Oh, you can drown them." "Okay, now I get It" "(video game) Ahhhhh!" "(video game) Granny overboard!" "Can somebody answer the phone?" "Maybe I should get some chamomile for my throat too." "Would you stop texting the Nanny!" "Do you know how gross that Is for a kid to text his Nanny?" "Just go walk down the hallway!" " Why?" "you text everybody!" "I text people for my job!" "So I can make money to pay for your texting!" "Okay, I got everything for you boys" " Who was that on the phone rita?" "I'm sorry Mr. Feder I don't know Becky answered" "Okay okay thanks for making the..." "Oh my god rita!" "this Isn't GodIva" "What are you trying to poison me?" " Oh...umm" "Good lord, go back to texting" "I don't ever want to hear that out loud again" "What the heck's going on out here?" "Oh my god" "I dIdn't mean to It was an accident" "I don't care." "Are you all right?" "What the heck were you doing?" "I was trying to use the navy" " The navy?" "what's the navy?" "The navy In the car to ask It a question" "You mean the navigation system idiot" "Shhh..." "KeIthIe, relax" "Some man called." "He said your friend Coach Buzzer went to heaven" "I was trying to find heaven for you on the navy station so you could go visit him" "yikes" "Who's your friend Dad?" "Coach Buzzer was someone very special In Daddy's life" "It's terrible" "Ok... go drink some hot chocolate with these guys" "Are you sure you're okay?" "eric hon..." "It's your Mom" "(crashing)" "Oh my god!" "eric!" "Are you all right?" "Oh my god!" "Phoebe" "Stay on the duck!" "Stay on the duck!" "What Is happening?" "Oh hon!" "Hello Mommy" "Hey Mom" " HI Mom" "Well, I'll see you there All right" "Hey, Is something wrong?" "Yeah, It will be all right I'll talk to you about It later" "Hey hey, I made the pumpkin risotto" "That we saw on the Rachel Ray seasons of summer special" "It's awful Momma" "It tastes like road kill" "Deanne, do you hear how they talk to me" "Do you hear how?" "You got to say something" "All right kids, Now you know your Father works very hard at keeping this house clean and putting three meals on the table for us every day" " Hello?" "And besides..." "I brought us a pizza!" "(all laughing)" "You know what...fine have your pizza" "Have your pizza You broke my heart" "You broke my heart!" "Looks like It's his time of the month again" "Aww..." "God, that's rough buddy" "Who's making the funeral arrangements?" "Oh his niece?" "She must be devastated" "Hey Is she still hot do you know?" "(muffled) Don't make me lose my temper Marcus!" "What...?" "(quietly) Hey, If I don't make It to the funeral tell the police It was Arlene from Applebee's" "No, thanks for calling me" "I'll see you later bye" "The coach Is dead" "his funeral Is this friday" "I don't think I can handle this alone" "Can you come with me?" "Of course..." "I'll postpone my cataract surgery" "You are my special lady" "Now I'm going to transport you to a world of serene relaxation" "(sIzzlIng)" "Yaa!" "..." "Ahh!" "(sIzzlIng)" "Ahh!" "..." "Okay guys let's try to act normal In there" "What's wrong with your sunglasses?" "I don't want any reason For these guys to call me..." "Hollywood!" "Ha ha ha" "Hey, look at that" "Kurt McKenzIe and the whole McKenzIe clan" " Hey, come here" "Deanne, you look great" "(muttering) my wife's over there, go say hi" "See that ass Is still growing" "You got a little KardashIan In there" "Okay, you kind of turned Into a little michael vick thing..." "If he was bulimic" "HI Roxanne, I don't know If you remember me?" "I was at your wedding." "I was the one that was table dancing all night" "Deanne..." "mackenzie..." " Of course" "HI good to see you" " Hello" "Oh my god, you're glowing, you look so beautiful with your pregnancy" "What the hell are you talking about?" "(laughing)" "I'm just playing" "Oh my god!" "You should see your face... you're like..." "little Lenny Feder!" " Momma RonzonI got big huh?" "Look at this handsome hunk of prochute" "And such a big success." "Come on, give Momma a kiss" "(awkwardly) Can I get a cheek In all that..." "I got you, I got you Poked In the eye by the hat but I'm all right" "How about the tale of your son In law here He's a house husband now" "(blows rasberry) My daughter's got to bust her hump all day to pay the bills while dummy here stays home and cleans" "I don't know how you can talk to me like that when you look like IdI amin with a propellor on your head" "Oh, that's nice" "Roxanne, this Is my Mother" "Hello Momma RonzInI I am so pleased to meet you" "I am little Lenny's wife" "Ooh, whay a spicy quesadIlla you got yourself Lenny" "Oh, yeah...she tastes great" "Mmm..." "I bet." "(ringtone) I'm a gangster, what?" "I'm a gangster, beeotch!" "Whoa ho dIdn't I tell you to turn the phone off there Greg?" "Yeah, but It's my massage therapist" "What?" "No no No cell phones" "wait, no cell phones then I'm out of here" "HIggy!" "Who's ready to get their funeral on?" "I'm sorry, death makes me weird What's up McKenzIe?" "You got those soft hands still using PalmolIve?" "Hey, what's up Lenny?" "Buddy, I thought you were going to start working out" "What does that mean?" "Um... you're fat" " No!" "Hey guys, this Is good news I've always wanted to represent you" "You're the third Olsen twin?" "Keep It down So these are your kids?" "And who's that girl That's not a Nanny Is It?" "Uh..." "No, no this Is a...a friend of ours from china" "Oh yeah, No I've been on that website" " No, no, like an... an exchange student that my wife brought Into the house" "Oh your wife's Into chicks?" "Oh that's nice" "Hollywood" " Hollywood, see he always lucks out" "I always thought something like that..." "Hey now!" " Ha ha, Lamonsoff!" "rolling up In a Caddy" " That's how we do It" "Look at you you're growing up on me man you're a B cup now?" "Hey nice ears Do you get the NFL package on those?" "NIce Caddy You sell lawn furniture and crack?" "Come on!" "I'm the co-owner of Branchford lawn furniture man" "I'm the boss now baby" "Oh, good for you there" " I'm glad you brought your Mother this time" "Oh!" "that's a good one" "Wow!" "It's like shaking hands with an Eagle I'll see you later" "Oh my god, It's captain caring of the S.S. Melodrama" "Oh, he's going to play this one big" "Cue pain..." "Hey..." " Hey" "Hell of a circumstance, I know" " I know, It sucks." "Great to see you" "Well, Buzzer's up there coaching heaven's team now" "That's true" "He's got wilt, pistol Peete Dr. J" "Yeah Dr. J's alive still" "Well those type of guys" " Yeah, yeah" "You look good though man like uh..." "If elvis was an Oompa Loompa he's right In front of me" "Wow." "I don't make jokes at funerals because It's disrespectful" "But If that's part of your healing process" "I'm cool with It" " Aw... that's nice, thanks" "Are you cool with a finger In you?" "Whupoo!" "Roxanne!" "Remember?" "..." "Rob, the guy I always tell you about?" "..." "Rob" "Of course!" "The kid who dIdn't hit puberty until he was nineteen right?" "That was our secret" "And this must be your mother..." "My wife" " I'm sorry" "HI, I'm gloria." "Oh It's so nice to meet you" "Your design line Is so beautiful" "Oh thank you, thank you and I love your...scarves" "She'll be tying me up with those later" "(awkward laughter)" "He's not kidding" "Oh grody!" "Oh... the long, long tongues" "See you In there See you In there" "right over there" "Oh, oh, sit right here sit right here" "I'm going to go say hi to Lenny hon" " No, honey..." "Oh hi Lenny!" "How are you doing?" "Oh, oh, oh, and I heard through a little bird that you guys rented the Earnshaw lakehouse for us for the entire weekend" "That's like a dream come true for us" "We had to rent It for the whole weekend but we don't get to stay the whole weekend because we have to go to milan tomorrow for Roxanne's fashion show" "Oh my god!" "that's a shame Oh, but you're going to have so much fun In milan" "J. Lo and Marc Anthony vacatIoned there last year" "And It's right up the street from lake Como where George Clooney has a villa" "You know, I read too many of those magazines what can I say?" "Come on, I'm sorry" " Sorry, I can't stop talking" "Here we are backing away ashamed...right?" "Oh, and Tom cruise got married there too" "Thanks for letting me know" " What?" "Well I don't understand why you had to rent It for the whole weekend" "You pay for the whole weekend because It's a holiday and they won't rent It to you for one night" "So your friends are partying all weekend while you're stuck In dreary old milan" "Well that was nice of you" "Well It was nice of us It's your money too Isn't It?" "Yeah." "It's your money It's his money" "It's my money." "Lets' put all our cash In a pile and split It" "That's a nice hat It brings out the death In the room" "I'm sorry, I'm nervous It's the funeral, I get weird" "There he Is" "Joe Hollywood" " Mr. big Shot agent" "Do you think he represents Hulk Hogan?" "No way" "Then he aIn't that big Is he?" "By the way, If anyone asks, rita Is an exchange student" "I think I just sat on your adding machine" "Now I know what happened to the fish tank" "Coach Robert "The Buzzer" Fernando was a caretaker by profession" "What a wonderful word that Is to describe his devotion to his fellow man he truly took care" "When Robert knew that his time was short" "He told me there was one specific man he wanted to say a few words to memorialize him" "So I'd like to ask Lenny Feder to come up now" "I'm sorry" "I'm not prepared at all I ..." "I'm" "I feel very honoured that ... that" "Coach asked me to do this but uh ..." "I also feel terrible, because I haven't seen the coach In so long" "And um... he always wanted me to come Into town and see him and uh ..." "I got caught up In what I've been doing and" "I regret It" "I understand that the St. Mark's team of 1978 was the only championship team that the coach ever had and uh ..." "That's very impressive" "I've got to say, judging from the talent we had to offer" "I mean, believe It or not" "robbie and Marcus were actually shorter In back 1979" "Yeah but those guys had a skill that you never masterd" "They knew how to pass the ball" "Looks like somebody has to learn how to pass the Kentucky fried chicken" "I'm kidding I'm kidding" "We're saying goodbye to a big part of our lives" "All of us" "You affected everybody In his room and um ..." "I hope we get to live our lives like you" "Have no regrets when life's final buzzer sounds" "So uh, let's all bow our heads In silence" "(singing LucIano PavarottI) Ave maria..." "GratIa plena" "They should have just ended It right after you" "this Is insanity" "Yeah, five bucks, It takes him down on one knee" "Oh your'e on" " Ok" "maria gratia plena" "Ave, ave dominus domInus tecum." "BenedIcta tu In mulIerIbus," "Ave maria," "(ImItates buzzer) (all laughing)" "Oh grow up will you!" " Oh look at him now" "Don't get so mad there robbie" "So how are we feeling about Rob's girl?" "Are we happy for him?" "Oh my god, the saint Polly Grandma?" "She seems all right" " She's pretty" "You know." "In a "me In a wig" sort of way" "When uh..." "Ben franklin was flying that kite, It had the key on It" "That was to her apartment" "You know what?" "I've gotta say he seems like he's In love you know" "Well he was In love with the first three wives too" "The cheater, the beater and the eater" "Yeah" "You know, his problem Is he's always so overly In love so quick and then one day he snaps and then It get's ugly In a hurry" "Coffee Mr. Feder?" "Uh..." "No, no, no, no I'm good, I'm good" "I mean I thank you" "That's cool of you to voluntarily want to give me coffee" "Just uh... you drink It you know while you're studying inside the church" "But you texted me you want coffee" "I texted you that I wanted you to drink the coffe and study" "So study Your books In the church" "Go ahead All right rita" "Mommy, I want some milk" "Oh sure angel, come here Let's give you a little something" "Slow down honey." "Not such big gulps You're going to get a tummy ache" "Your son Is so cute." "How old Is he?" "Oh he's uh..." "forty-eIght months" "That's four" " Yeah" "We meant to stop It last year but um... he likes It so much and we don't like to say no" "Hey sweetheart" "Could you use a fork please" " No, no, no, no, No!" "Looks like she dIdn't get the memo" "(eric laughing)" "('Last child' by aerosmith) # Yes sir, no sir, don't come close #" "# To my home sweet home # # Can't catch no dose #" "# Of my hot tail poon tang sweetheart # # Sweathog ready to make a silk purse #" "# From a J. Paul Getty and his ear # # with her face In a beer #" "Hey!" "let me get that spot" " Hey!" "gotta respect the Caddy" "NIce, you drove your piggy bank here" " Hey, come on" "Hey, Rob's car Is an Oompa Loompa too" "It's cute" "It will do for one night" "Yeah?" "you can handle It?" "Daddy, what Is that machine doing?" " It's getting rid of the moths honey" "Where Is It taking them?" " Hell" "Don't say that HIggIns" " Oh I'm sorry not hell, mexico" "It's giving them electricity, so the moths can fall asleep, electrically" "It's electrocutIng them?" "No, no, no" " But Daddy, they're dying" "It's killing them?" " No!" "Daddy No!" "No, no It's not okay?" "Let me adjust It" "They're all all right I promise you, see?" "Come on, look at this guy" "Whee..." "All right, It's still sleeping" " It's dead Dad" "Ooh a porch swing." "I know what I'm doing this weekend" "Now he's dead" "Welcome back to 1978 everybody" "I don't remember It this big this Is my kitchen." "this Is It right now" " Oh please, enough with the kitchen" "Lenny, thank you so much" "It's unbelievable" "Oh my god, an organ" "Oh come on could you at least humour me?" " Is this like an outward bound thing Dad?" "It's like an episode of Lost" "Hon, you might not want to bang on that" " But I lIke playing It like this" "Okay so listen guys who's getting what room?" "Actually, I made a map of who gets which room" "I took the liberty of reserving the room with the waterbed for gloria and myself" "Ooh..." "You're going to do the backstroke tonight" "I want to go swimming with you guys tonight" " Oh honey, we're not really going swimming" "What I meant was" "Oh no, that's okay." "She doesn't need to know what you mean" "I don't even know what you mean" " Oh, I know what she meant" "(ImItates vomiting)" "Anyway, let's get back to the room" "picking Rob, would you like to take us on a tour perhaps?" "Yeah, I'd love to show you a tour" "gloria was just trying to be clear" " I need someplace near a bathroom" "Why does the Grandma get to go swimming and I don't" "Okay, here's the big daddy" "The Master bedroom" "You know what?" "Lenny should have that" "Oh no, no, no Honey, honey" "Come on, let the kids have It" "It's a fun time for the kids to be together and they can do kid's things" "Come on, come on, go share It share the Master bedroom" "Hey Dad" "What's the big box attached to the back of the TV?" "Um... that's the rest of the TV" "They dIdn't always have flatscreens there sport" "Wow!" "That Is some stone-age shIznIt" "Yeah that's whack" " I need a room with heat" "It's summer, It's like 95 degrees In here" " There he goes again" "I got bunyans" " You know I actually have a poultice I make" "using maze" " Just say corn, maze Is corn everybody" "Yeah but he says maze because It sounds more mystical" "Exactly" " Well I lIke the way he said It" "(mocking) Maze, maze" "(all together) Maze" "It's fantastic okay" " It's a-maze-Ing" "Just spread It on cloth and moisten and heat It and then I apply It directly to the affected area" "Oka, well" "My affected area Is pretty big" "(all groaning) Ahhhhh!" "Momma" "I dIdn't know the Elephant Man lived In your shoe" "How In the world Is anyone supposed to get some sleep knowing they's under the same roof as "Tobe" Bryant over here" "You're stepping over the line woman" "(hoarse bark)" "So what's with that Labradoodle?" "It sounds like Stephen hawking or something" "Well Curly had his vocal chords clipped" "A neighbor filed a complaint so It was either clip the chords or put Curly down" "Wrong choice" " Come on, he's part of the family" "imagine when a burgler comes over and hears that he must run In terror" "Wow, what's that turkey doing In the house?" "By the way Lamonsoff you son." "What's up with the boob thing Is the kid a little old?" "He's going to be rubbing her boob with his beard soon" "Yeah, he's going to get a milk moustache on a real moustache." "that won't look right" "That kid, when he's ten on his bike The Mom's going to be In the basket he's going to be like..." "Why are they inside right now anyways?" "Why would they not come out here and enjoy the lake or do something In the woods" "There wasn't a time of day that I wasn't outside" "We weren't, we were always out..." "we were never In" "I can't take It anymore" "Oh, he's being a Dad, look at this" " He's going to do It?" "All right, that's It no more video games" "No more cell phones no more texting" "Just from now on, while we're here stay outside and play" "What are we supposed to do?" "Just play like normal kids come on, move It" "Where's Becky?" "Hey Greg" "When we were kids, your Dad used to talk us Into doing the craziest stuff" " That's right I remember one time" "We got our shower curtains" "Put them In shopping carts and went shopping cart sailing" "wait, how did you steer?" " Well, we dIdn't" "How did you stop?" "You just mashed Into something that was the fun part" "And we used to shoot bottle rockets at each other" "You always go for the guys face because you want to blind him" "Okay that's a little much pal" " No I know..." "kids, don't do that" "You don't uh..." "Erase, reboot" "Look, look make a tree fort I'll get you started" "Rob lived In one of those for a year" " Why?" "My Dad took away my rollerskates" " Uh oh, vietnam flashback" "wait a minute" "Are you kidding me?" " What, what?" "Rope on a tree baby!" " You know what that means" "We get to hang ourselves?" "Are you kidding me?" "You see a rope and a lake and that doesn't make you want to go nuts?" "It makes me like..." "(stuttering)" "You know what?" "Let me go!" "LammIe..." "Yeah baby" "Dude!" "Get up on the top rock" "Yeah, yeah top rock" " You got to back It up" "Back It up" " Go baby" "Class Is In session" "Who wants to see a double flip?" "Whoo!" "Too high!" " Drop!" "this was a mistake!" "I can't let go I'm too scared" "(eric screaming)" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "That was awesome!" "Oh God!" ", Oh God!" "my leg snapped!" "Oh my God!" "I have a bone sticking out!" "Oh God!" "I need help!" "It's a stick I got ya" "(all laughing)" "Very good!" "Daddy look!" "bIrdIes hury" "(weak chIrpIng)" "Oh my god" "I'll go get a shoebox" "Whoa, whoa, whoa here you go" "Hey did you really land on that bird, man?" "I'm not sure?" "I..." "I did hear a chirp, and then a "crunch" like noise but uh..." "that could have been anything" "Hey Lenny, remember we used to come In here In high school late night after we got wasted" "What's wasted?" " nice one HIggy" "Wasted, kids Is something... that's happens when you have a hankering for Ice cream" "Ooh!" "I want to get wasted" "I want to get totally wasted I want to get wasted every single day of my life" "I want to get chocolate wasted" " No you don't need to get wasted, It's okay" "All right everybody, you know what?" "Let me make this easy 17 burgers and 17 fries, okay?" "And uh, that will be just for me What are you guys having?" "Lamonsoff!" "Do me a favor, that's for everybody and just put It on there" "Oh you don't have to do that" "I am not going to have any hamburgers" "I'll take some meatloaf, some calzones, put the marinara sauce on the side with corn." "either on the cob or whatever you got?" "What are you going to the electric chair?" "What?" " No he was just kidding Henry VIII" "She's eating for two" "Her and "Toebo" cop" "But Momma, they do have bunyan rings If you want some" "That was good Lenny" " How about some drinks" "Hey, I said I'm paying so..." "take It easy with that okay?" "I'm kidding everybody" "We can drink all we want I'll start It off" "I'm going to have a coke and I know Donna, she's going to want a sprite" "And uh..." "Bean's good with milk obviously" "I want cookies" "Ooh, cookies and MILF" " MILF, oh HIggIns thank you so much" "Take It easy all right Tuck It away HIggIns" "And I'll take a flat water..." "Voss" " What?" "You know?" "..." "Voss." "well fiji If you don't have Voss" "You know, anything you got Is good" "Yeah, we have out of the faucet" " like from the hose?" "Tap water" " What country Is that from?" "Oh my god just get the water" "We're done talking about water Tap water" "I will get the Voss from the ba..." " Just sit down rita, study the menu the big test Is coming" "(speaking chinese)" "Hey now" "I'm sorry?" "What now?" "He says they have the best burger In town here" "Really?" "So since when did you learn to speak chinese?" "Just a little something I picked up watching a chinese cooking show" "That's great." "Maybe you should focus a little less on the talking and a little more on the cooking (all laughing)" "You got told" "You got "toe"" "He comes back!" " Mommy, can I have some of her milk?" "There Is..." "Joe Hollywood" "Who's that?" "DIckIe bailey?" "Oh my god Hey, long time no see" "How are you doing?" " You know that game had some bad calls" "What game are we talking about?" "The game.. what when we were kids?" "30 years ago, that game?" "That last shot... your foot was on the line" "Shouldn't have counted" "Wow, I don't know?" "I don't remember It quite like that" "You got the rest of the Fugly five over there huh?" "Yes.. yes, they are the boys are here" "Boys?" "they don't look like they could make It up and down the court anymore" "What about you?" "did you put on a few pounds?" "From when I was 12?" "Yes, I think so" "You don't know how to come at me do you?" "Rematch!" "I dare you" "Wow" "In basketball?" "you don't look like you're In the greatest shape either" "I could see having a getting off the couch contest with you but..." "anytime, anywhere" "I was just kidding I really don't want to do that" "And uh... hey!" "Next time you come to town I'll have plenty of that Boss water for your kid" "Wouldn't want him to go thirsty (kitchen staff laughing)" "All right, well uh... just for the record It's Voss water by the way, with a V" "Ooh" " Okay" "It's going to be an emotional day tomorrow boys" "spreading the Buzzer's ashes" " Oh my god" "Well the coach requested that we scatter his remains on McIntyre Island" "I've got a beautiful ceremony planned" "Lenny are you still going to be able to do that tomorrow?" "What time do you leave?" "What are you talking about" " What do you mean leave?" "I forgot to tell you fellahs, we've got to to take off In the morning" "You're leaving the lake house?" "What are you talking about?" "You can't leave" "We got the ceremony tomorrow" "Oh, Lenny's just playing everybody" "Are you joking?" " He's not" "Are you joking?" "I want to be there." "I mean..." "we all want to be there" "It's just, we've got to go to milan" "milan what?" "Italy" "What's In milan?" "It's pretty cool Roxanne's got her fall line coming out" "fashion week" "Three nights at the Four Season's baby" "Eggs benedict by the pool" "playstation 3 In every room and they show boobies on italian TV" "I'm going to Italy" "I meant no, no" "I dIdn't tell you guys we're probably going to go to Italy as a..." "thanks for ruining the surprise" "Lenny, It's not going to be the same without you" "Yeah, come on" "Roxanne was cool enough to let us come for tonight because this Is a big deal for her" "I mean, can't Roxanne go without you and you could meet her..." "We are seating me and my lady we do everything together" "Last year we had to Skype Becky's school play from milan" "Roxanne..." "I thought we were going to get wasted?" "sweetie, what was I supposed to do?" "LIe to them" "It's not what you said It's how you said It" "I am not some insensitive work crazy dragon-lady and I'm not going to let you depict me as one" "We are skipping the dinner In milan SpreeeadIng the ashes!" "And we are leaving first thing Sunday morning" "(hoarse barking)" "Lamonsoff!" "It's five In the morning Can you kill the dog now?" "I'm thinking about It" "Go ahead, birdie coming through everybody, birdie coming through" "Good morning take It right over to the table" "How are we going?" "something stinks In here" "gloria and I are making breakfast for everybody" "using a dehydrator" "which never cooks anything above 115 degrees" "Those are pankakes?" "They're ocean pankakes" "They're grey, they look like you cut them off an elephant's legs" "I'm not eating that" "It's good for you" " What Is this?" "What Is this?" "a scab?" "It's dehydrated banana" " What happened to a normal banana?" "You peel a banana and eat It" " The kids will love It, It's fun man" "It doesn't go bad all day you slice It up really thin" "Oh, I see what you do with It" "(slapping) maybe you're right, this Is good" "Is that what they're meant for" " You could do that I guess you could" "I'd rather be hit by dehydrated fruit than a... (slapping)" "Processed..." "Processed fruit" " I'm just kidding around" "You think you're rich and you can just slap people with dehydrated... (slapping) I don't think that, don't say that" "Good morning..." "Honey, how Is the birdie?" "Ooh La La" "Where did you get those shoes (stammering)" " I know, I know, I'm over dressed" "But sorry, I packed for milan not the lake" "Made from acorns" " So dude, I'm not eating any of this" "You got any normal food?" "cereal...uh..." "Would you like to make your egg white frIttata Mr Feder?" "Oh, uh..." "Is that what you're doing In science class now?" "making frIttata's?" " No, you know what?" "We're okay." "You can go practice that In your room though" "I know you got the big test coming" "Yeah uh.. you know honey?" "I think you're overwhelming Lenny Here, I've got a present for you" "Bacon" "Knock yourself out" " Bacon!" "hey..." "She gets It" " She gets It" "Thank god she gets It" "All right so..." "Hey, what are you doing?" "cooking the bacon" " Not In here" "That's dead animal flesh and It's not going near the vegan food" "Murderer!" " fine" "What do I do with It?" "Oh I know... (slapping)" "I'm sorry buddy" "(loud fart)" "Curly!" "shame on you" "That crazy dog" "Must have got Into some of my leftover pasta pazul" "Yeah Momma I'm sure that's exactly what happened" "It did!" "We should get a dog" "We should get a water buffalo Whoo" "HIggIns!" "what are you doing?" "Look, I don't wear pants at my house I'm not wearing them at your house...sorry" "That was a man's ass?" "(bacon sizzling) Yeah" "How sweet Is..." "look at that" "(bacon sizzling) Ooh, ooh" "That's It buddy" "Okay, throw the rock" "skim It" "Throw It at tree" "Throw It at the lake" "Throw It at your brother" "hit your head with It" "Just do something" "(deep sigh) come on..." "GreggIe what are you doing?" "dressed like that" "You hanging out with JImIny CrIckey?" "We were supposed to be going to milan, remember?" "That's what I packed for" "Come on, just cut those Into shorts we'll play some hoop later" "Pass dude" "You don't want revenge for the last time I whooped you?" "That was four years ago homey" "All I want Is to fly to milan and have some fresh made gelato" "Ouch" "Wow!" "what would your Father have done on that one?" "That one would have been a backhand to the side of the head and possible bleeding from the ear" "My Father would have thrown me down the stairs just for using the word "gelato"" "Ah, you got the new Foreman" " Yeah" "this Is awesome HIllIard was trying to make me some tofu grape nuts In there" "Try It out" " You cleaned this thing right?" "Yeah I cleaned this thing" "Thanks alot" "By the way, McIntyre Island aIn't close" "Eat as much as you can We've got a big row ahead of us" "These are kind of..." "Come on man" "What are you doing to me?" "seriously..." "You don't want your breath to smell like your grandmother's closet?" "('Rock and Roll Never Forgets') (by Bob Seger and the silver Bullet Band)" "# So you're a little bit older and a lot less bolder # # Than you used to be #" "# So you used to shake 'em down # # But now you stop and think about your dignity #" "# So now sweet sixteens... #" "beautiful" "You got to respect going to McIntyre Island though haven't done that since we were 12" "Got my fist boob there" "I know you did, Tracy ThornhIll" " Tracy ThornhIll" "Absolutely, I remember that" " They were flat, but I was a fan" "HIggIns, Is that all you think about Is chicks man?" "Yeah relax we've got daughters" "That's all you guys think about too The difference Is, I can do something about It" "That's not tr...all right that's true" " You want to know what I fantasize about?" "Yeah" "Candy bars" "No, I had a bad blood sugar test at my last checkup and Sally cut me off" "You're a grown-ass man How do you deal with that?" "Oh, I've got my own hidden stash I'm not stupid" "Of course..." "seriously, I've got It all" "I've got Reese's, ButterfIngers, Three Musketeers." "I hide them under my clothes" "In the bottom of the hamper It's great because the smell of my sweat socks masks the chocolte smell" "And the looks of your underwear masks the chocolate stains" "Hang on guys I gotta make a sissy" " No, no, we're almost there" "I gotta make a sissy!" " Oh come on!" "you made three already" "It must just be oozing out at this point" " Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate" "It's taking a piss not the S.A.T's" "(intermittent splashes)" "Are you peeing or..." "Is a diesel truck turning off What the hell Is that?" "listen to hamper bottom" "I think he's sending a message In Morse code" "getting old...stop" "Can't pee...stop" "Reeks like asparagus...stop even though I dIdn't even have any..." "The good news Is these girls are going to say hi to It" "They don't all look like that ladies" "You'd think that 300 pounds..." "Oww!" "Come on!" "('Lay It on the line' by triumph) # I'm tired of playing foolish games #" "sick mix tape you made robbie" "Oh yeah" "Hey guys, I uh..." "I brought something too" " Get out of here" "It's the net Yeah" "championship game" " Let me see that" "Thought the coach should have It" "robbie, you got to put this on the urn buddy" "Your foot was on the line Oh, bailey" "What do you think the coach would have said If he heard about that trash talker?" "He'd kick our ass for not kicking his ass" "Yeah" " Why don't we do It the old school way have eric beat his ass for us" "We should!" " No, no, no" "I've got about eight seconds of fighting total, left In my life" "And I'm saving that In case I get mugged or... you know?" "Someone cuts In front of me at Burger king or something" "That's my hair at the bottom" "We can't delay It anymore guys" " He just bit his chicken...all right" "Are we going?" " We're doing It" "Let's do It" "You know I..." "I think the coach Is here with us" "I think he's proud to be here with us" "In ash form" " right here on this Island" "Where we hid from our parents and..." "right now where we're hiding from our wives and children" "Goodbye to you" "friend" "wise advice giver" "Buzzer noise maker" "(crying)" "Rob, come on" "I really messed up my marriages all of them" "It was my fault man" "I just couldn't hang on" "You know, my own daughters" "I don't even hardly know them" "The Buzzer would be ashamed of me" " No he wouldn't" "Come on man" " Come on" "You have plenty of time to patch things up with your daughters man" "You just..." "call them when you get back" "Actually, they're going to be here In about 20 minutes" "wait, what?" "I could use a piece of chicken" " No, no, no don't" "finish the bucket actually" " Actually I'm still going to eat It" "this Is pretty sick but I'm hungry" "('Escape (The PIña Colada Song)') (by Rupert Holmes)" "# If you like pina coladas # # getting caught In the rain #" "# If you're not Into yoga # # If you have half a brain #" "# If you like making love at midnight # # In the dunes of the cape #" "piece of crap car!" "What?" "Hey Dad..." "Me?" "What?" "How do you get that...?" "from that 95 percent of that's got to be from the Mother and I am low-ballIng" "How Is that possible?" "Oh no, the elvis hairs are going up her nose." "She doesn't know what to do" "Is this your car?" "My old man lent me this turd" "Because he doesn't care If I break down In the middle of nowhere and get eaten by a bear or something" "Your old man?" " Yeah, my boyfriend 47 years old" "You know I wish I liked guys my own age" "But I'm just chasing the Dad that ran out on me" "HoochIe Mama" "What does that mean?" "I don't know but It feels right" "I hope that car never gets fixed" "I don't think It will" "I took the spark plugs out" "NIce" "We're all looking at the same time let's at least...take shifts" "Yeah good Idea" " Lamonsoff, you and me look at the tree" "McKenzIe, we're going to look at her butt for a little bit okay?" "Okay, all right" " All right, good plan ...and shift" "shift" "shift" "shift ...and shift" "What are we doing?" " WaIt, are we all looking at the tree right now?" "Yeah, let's go back to the ass" "Hey jasmine, this Is gloria gloria, this Is jasmine" "Oh, hi" "Oh look, here comes Grandma going right In to the rescue" "Let me take a look" "Oh, honey..." "You've blown your gasket" "# If you like pina coladas # # getting caught In the rain #" "# If you're not Into yoga # # If you have half a brain #" "# If you like making love at midnight #" "I'm good, I'm all good" " Wow" "That was rough..." "You guys thought seeing them at the car was gross you should have heard that waterbed action last night" "Sounded like two grizzlies fighting over a salmon" "Aww..." "there was a lot happening" "At least he's getting something" "I've been shut out ever since Deanne found out she was pregnant" "Oh yeah, that will happen" "Can you have sex when they're pregnant?" "or does that hurt the baby" "No, McKenzIe can because the baby thinks he's getting a tootsie Roll" "(all laughing)" "SnIckers..." "SnIckers" " Oh, a little bigger" "I got lucky on St Patty's day but uh... she was half asleep" "And by half asleep I mean she was asleep, yeah she was out" " You're allowed to do that?" "She was fine with It" "robbie!" "Hey, how did It go with the daughter" "Awkward..." "I guess the first 20 years of a kid's life Is more Importsnt than I realized" "It's always the kids who pay" " kids pay" "They pay" " They pay" "They always pay" " They pay with maze" "It's good hanging with you guys" " No, no, stop" "I'm glad my family turmoil can provide entertainment for you guys" "Let's cheer him up, how did we cheer robbie up In the old days a little arrow roulette whoa, whoa, arrow roulette" " did we really do that?" "single stupidest thing we ever did" " It was the craziest" " MoronIc" "AssenIne" "I can't believe we're doing this" "How do we always let Lenny talk us Into the stupidest stuff?" "Remember the rules, whoever stays In the circle the longest, wins" " What?" "!" "Whoever stays the longest" " We gotta stand here?" "And a one..." "And a two..." "Why are we doing this?" "!" "Go!" "('Walk All Over You' by AC/DC)" "I don't see It, I don't see It" " Where Is It?" "!" "I lost It In the sun!" " I lose!" "(all screaming)" "# Out of my way I'm running high #" "# Take your chance with me and I'll give It a try #" "# AIn't no woman In the world I know #" "# 'Cause I aIn't looking for (an overflow?" ") #" "# Oh baby I aIn't got much #" "# resistance to your touch #" "# Take off the high heels, let down your hair #" "# paradise aIn't far from there # # I wanna walk all over you #" "I am the champion!" "I beat all you panzIes!" "(arrow landing)" "Ahh..." "Haa!" "Whoraaa!" "(hitting ground)" "Come on, come on" " You're moving!" "ahh...!" "you're shaking..." "You're complaining about your hammy I've got an arrow In my foot!" "Oww!" "Easy, easy..." "What's going on?" "Rob got attacked by an indian!" "Yeah, but he got away!" "What?" " He got attcked by an indian?" "Daddy, what happened?" "Amber!" "I'm glad you got here" "this Is my daughter Amber everybody" "# If you like pina coladas #" " You've got another one" " Dude, high five" "(whispering) I'm not high fiving, my wife's coming" "Oh my God!" "Oh my God!" "You made me look at that!" "Ahh!" "this Is killing me!" "bridget come down here Daddy's hurt" "# Yes I lIke pina coladas #" "You got another one?" " Yeah" "Hey..." "(all together) Hey..." "Now I get It" " Now that makes sense" "Shut up!" "Foot...arrow...why?" "I think we've got to pull It the rest of the way through" "Oh let me get It!" " No, I'll get It" "It was my Idea I said It first!" "(all arguing) Hey!" "(hushIng)" "We're going to be all right here" "All we need Is a poultice with some maze..." "Oh shut up!" "That poultIce shit doesn't work" "It never worked!" "Are you Insane?" "!" "Get some alcohol on this bitch!" "You should know about that!" "You were born during the prohibition" "(mouthIng word) ...And there's the snap" "(under breath) That was bigger than I thought" "It was going to be...wow" " Snap, Crackle and Pop" "(studying out loud)" "Excuse me, princess rita" "Are you just going to sit there or are you going to help me?" "No, Mr. Feder said that I must study for the big final" " What final?" " You tell me!" "He just keeps handing me books" "Oh for... never mind." "did you pack the adapters for Italy?" "Yes, I did In L.A." "Great, and just wipe your hands, I need you to organize all those papers In here" "Very neatly, okay They can not be ruined" "Hello, HI..." "this Is Roxanne Feder" "I just want to make sure..." "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "It came out!" ", It came out!" "Not now honey I'm on the phone okay" "My tooth, It fell out!" "That's great honey just put It under the pillow and I'll put a dollar In there later okay?" "What?" "Becky, I am on the phone I'll put the dollar under..." "Why would you?" "There's no Tooth fairy?" "I can't believe I just did that" "Oh Lenny, you should have seen her little face" "I don't know what's wrong with me?" "I mean, I try so hard and I can't seem to get anything right" "You made a mistake parents make mistakes" "Remember the time I told Greg babies come from Mommy's poop?" "and he kept looking In the toilet for a baby brother" " That's not funny I'm just saying" "(Greg In other room) Can you hear me now?" "...okay" "I just feel... (what about now?" "...can you hear me?" ")" "I feel like I ruined her childhood" " She was going to find out eventually Eventually, but not today" "(can you hear me now?" ") (this Is so cool, are you there?" ")" "Hey!" "DIdn't I say no cell phones?" "I thought we had a deal!" "What's up Dad?" "That was cup phones?" " Yeah, Charlotte taught us" "Cool huh?" "hey check out Becky's" "Look Dad, I have cup waiting" "I've got to call you back I'm on with Spongebob" "(Curly barking)" "Was that a turkey?" "Yo Andre, can you hear me?" "Where's the player?" "can you hear me?" "Oh yeah (all talking)" "The best thing about these Is we can leave the cup In the shower and listen to jasmine clean herself tomorrow morning" "What!" "Oh my God!" "May I borrow this?" "attention troopers..." "There's been a request from the phone company would you please Install cup phones" "In every adult bedroom right away!" "Thank you here we go!" "... move It, move It" "I said move It, move It" "(high pitched fart)" "(loud fart)" "Oh..." "Yes, I have always been the Tooth fairy" "No..." "Bean's Mommy Is the Tooth fairy for his family" "I just cover our family" "Do not tell Bean...okay?" "Becky, I love you so so so so much okay?" "I'm sorry sweetheart" " Okay come on, you're costing me a fortune" "Let's go, this Is going to be a high cup bill" "(gloria) Can I still put maze on your arrow wound?" "What the hell Is that?" "Is that gloria laughing?" "She's still here after he had to snap on her like that?" "She forgave him right away" "You are my special lady" "And you are my one footed maze covered lover" "Okay come on We've got to go to sleep" "We're going to milan tomorrow right?" "...long flight" "Wow..." " Let's get our rest" "(Curly barking)" "(Bean) Somebody kill that turkey!" "(Lenny laughing)" "(bird cooIng)" "Is that getting me horny?" "Yes..." "Do you promise you'll still feed her after we leave?" "I promise" " Mommy, that's my milk" "Bean, we have to learn how to share even with birds" "But he's going to drink you dry!" "(children laughing and playing) ('time to Fly' by REO Speedwagon)" "# I've been around for you # # Been up and down for you #" "I got a third time" "Donna, you want to try?" " Sure" "But, I stink at sports" " That's all right, here" "# I've swallowed my pride for you #" " Hold It like this" "Down low and throw It and let the rock do the magic" "NIce!" " I did It!" "Good job Donna" "Do you know how to skip rocks Mrs. Feder?" "Are you kidding me?" "I am the best at this" "give me that Now watch me # and we can't relive It # # Well I make you... #" "(rock hitting Greg)" " Oh!" "..." "Oh my God baby are you okay?" "Yeah Mom, I'm just glad to see you having some fun" "I'll take your luggage to the car Mr. Feder" "It's not my luggage that's your textbooks and that's nice of you to take your own stuff down" "In your ca..." "come on, why are you..." "Oh come on man, already?" "You're leaving?" "Yes I've got to go" " You need any help getting to the airport" "Lenny, we've got a little problem" " What, what happened?" "I forgot how to skip a rock" "Now, I think It's going to take a couple of days to figure It out" "So..." "I think we better stay" "Are you kidding me?" " For reals Mom!" "we're not leaving?" "No, I don't need to see a bunch of starving models walking around In my clothes" "Yeah, why would you want to see models when you can see this?" "(all laughing)" "See..." "You couldn't get that In milan" "You...you, what do you want to do today?" "...anything" "I don't know, you tell me What was your favourite thing to do when you were 12 and It was sunny out?" "Ooh..well I can't do that" "Maybe...go to a water park" " Then what are we waiting for?" "seriously?" "Let's load up the car people" " Water park!" "I'm not taking my shirt off!" " I'm not taking my shirt off either" "(foot crunching) Oww!" "...oh...oh Whoo Hoo!" "You're wasting It" "Sorry" "It's all right It's actually not that bad" "('Just Can't wait' by J. geils Band)" "I have to go number two" " Okay, hang on" " Yeah Hey Dad" "Hey, where have you guys been?" "Well, we dIdn't bring our swimsuits so Marcus went to take us to buy some" "We got them at a store called Naughty and nice" "Marcus said..." "It was the only one that was open" "The only place open...for bathing suits?" "In the summer" "We got my bathing suit at Stop N' Shop" "That's uh..." "I lIke that one" " Let's hit the waterslide!" "# I just can't wait # # I just can't wait #" "# I just can't wait #" "What a beautiful day" "It's a girls day" "Oh boy..." "Are we really doing bathing suits?" "Oh come on girls, we don't know these people." "Who cares?" "Yeah you're right, who cares?" "I've been working all summer on this six pack" "How you feel about that?" "Uhh..." "Baby got front!" "Go Dee...go Dee..." " Uh huh" "Come on Sally It's your turn Take It off" "Oh no, I have a bit of a chill actually gloria, how about you?" "I don't own a bathing suit..." "but I lIke to go nude" "No, no, no..." "Hey, somebody likes what he sees" "('Ready for Love' by Bad Company) # I'm ready for love #" "# Oh baby, I'm ready for love #" "# I'm ready for love # # Oh baby, I'm ready for love #" "(purrIng)" "Daddy, this line's not even moving - (together) I know" "I want Mommy's milk" "I know you do son" "He wants Mommy's milk give him some Mommy's milk" "No, no, no..." " Mommy's milk, mommy's milk, mommy's" "dammit, no more Mommy's milk okay" "You want milk you're drinking regular milk" "Hey, hey, here kid..." "Hey!" "Don't give me the guff right now kid Here's a buck, run along...run along" "Here, drink milk straight out of the carton" "I don't know If Mommy will want me to" "All right just drink It okay!" "Just like Daddy does, let me show you okay" "Okay" "I'm just like Daddy!" "(all cheering)" "There we go" " See that?" "no more booby milk" "Yay!" "more for us!" "So ladies... how do we get Mr. Banana Hammock to come over here where we can get a better look at him" "Okay, well there's two big advantages to breast feeding and I'm going to put mine to work" " Sally, wow!" " That's It girl" "Work that umbrella pole baby" "Sally!" "Oh my God!" " Oh, It's definitely working" " You're good at that" " Oh my God, he likes It!" "All right doing the back door shuffle Cut the line, go, go, go" "Don't get hurt" "Dad?" "Are we allowed to go through here?" "Absolutely not but we're doing It anyways" "Your cool Dad found this back In the day" "Go up the ladder" " Hey, It's dark In there maybe you should hold my hand..." "I'm scared" "Hey, hey, hey come here..." "Don't fall for that crap you stay away from him" "What are you talking about?" "He's gay Isn't he?" "No, he just seems gay He's a genius" "All righty... who's next?" "Now's a great time..." "Charlotte, you're up first" "Who's next?" "Let's go" "Is he coming this way?" " He's coming this way" "He's coming towards us right now" "this Is good." "Now, whatever you do, don't fart" "(squeaky voice) Hey what's up ladies?" "So... you are from around these parts eh?" "Yeah, I'm from Saskatchatoon!" "That's up In Canada eh?" "You american ladies, you've been up to Saskatchatoon eh?" "(all laughing)" "Hose teasers" "(laughter)" "everything was on steroids except for the voice" "('Just Got Back' by Cheap trick) # Well just got back #" "# Been gone too long #" "# Wasn't my Idea, dIdn't pull the trigger # # Oh oh oh I I I I'm just so glad #" "# I'm just so glad to be back home, yeah #" "# I just got back # # Been a long long time #" "# Wasn't my Idea, dIdn't point the finger # # Oh oh oh I I I I'm just so glad #" "# I'm just so glad to go home #" "Hey, weren't you guys just here?" "No, I think you have us confused with some other people" "I don't think so because you're two of the hottest chicks" "I've ever seen In my life" "Hey!" "What?" "These are my daughters" " right...uh uh" "Her definitely...because she's Fugly just like you" "(together) Hey!" "Now who's next?" "Ahh!" "# My god, Is It a dream?" "#" "# I just got back # # Been a long long time #" "# Wasn't my Idea, dIdn't point the finger # # Oh oh oh I I I I'm just so glad #" "# I'm just so glad to go home # (laughter)" "Dad, come on, hurry up!" "I want to go to Power Splunge" "One second sweetie, we're going on all the rides today, we're doing them all" "We're going to have fun" " Are you making a sissy?" " No I'm not" "You know they put a chemical In the pool that turns urine blue" "No, no they're old wives tales sweetie It's an old wives tale" "Oh my God!" "You're humiliating me!" "(children screaming)" "# I just got back # # I been asleep too long #" "# Wasn't my Idea what the doctor figured # # Oh oh oh I I I I'm just so glad #" "# I'm just so glad, I'm just so glad, # can I get a picture?" " A little further, a little further" "(children screaming)" "(man screaming)" "I don't know about this one Dad It's kind of steep" "Yeah, yeah, It's a little steeper than I remember" "Okay let's go to another ride" " I don't like It either, yeah come on" "Good thing the kid chIckened out so you don't have to go, right Feder?" "Why don't you hire somebody to do It for you Mr. RItchIe rich?" "Hey wiley what's up man?" "Step aside chumps let me get this on" "Hasta la vista chicken shIznIt" "Yeah!" "Go kid!" "Whoo!" "That was good, that was very nice" " All right, now I want some of this" "Look at this" "Atta boy" " What happened there?" " Atta boy!" " Backwards huh?" "Yeah!" "You're up Hollywood" "I'm up?" "..." "All right I don't know how you follow up backwards?" "Just pay attention to the dismount would you" "Oh ho!" "Looks like second place again bailey huh...?" "Do you believe this guy?" "Second place?" "Second place..." "Go down the hanging by your feet" " Show these idiots" " By my feet?" " Yeah" "Is that safe?" "What do you care?" "you're an animal..." "You're an animal!" "Yeah!" " I'm an animal!" "Whoohahooa!" "Why don't you do It?" " I got kids" "Yeah wiley!" "(all together) wiley, wiley" "You don't need to do this" "wiley, wiley, wiley!" "I'm an animal!" "I'm an animal!" "Yeah!" "I can't get my foot out!" "Ahhhh!" "(crash) (crown groans)" "That's how you do It boys" "Go Becky" " You can do this" "Good there you go" " Yay!" "give me a five" "Roxanne, look at him..." "It's like he totally forgot about me" "typical man..." "they take all you can give and then they trade you In for some cow" "Yeah, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do with these now" "I do" "See that buddy that's the old bank shot pick a spot..." "aim for It" "Oh yeah, your Dad will go 50 for 50 with these" "Really?" "because on the WII the bank shot never works" "Yeah, well you should "WII"turn It and get a "WII"fund" "Okay, tim Duncan's had about a hundred game winners with that bad boy" "Honey, are you watching me?" "Oh baby!" "that was hot" "Come here for a minute let me show you" "What you got to do Is..." "see the box up there?" "The top right corner of It?" "Hello?" "Focus boy, focus get off of that" "Lamonsoff!" "...(snaps fingers) Focus" "Oh my God!" "What a perv" "He's totally checking me out" "He wans't..." "Lady..." "I don't know" "All right, come on Go ahead" "Follow through, keep the hand up" "Are you kidding me?" "...Respect" "See how good you can be when you wear normal people clothes" " Hey Momma" " Hey baby" "How come you're not out there playing basketball?" " You know I got..." " You got bunyans, I know, where's Kurt?" "Are you scared, what's wrong?" "(rita giggling)" "Ooh...somebody's In trouble not looking good" "All right, I did everybody's first shot for them, now you do the second one" "Come on now!" "Nobody's doing shots we got kids there dummy" "Got to wake up In the morning" "All right we're going to bIzz beers Instead" "Who's got beers?" "Check 'em off" " I'm going to go with one tonight" " Yeah, I'll stick with coffee" " I'm having this many" " Cheers" "I'm just having MetamucIl tonight" "What's wrong with you guys?" "We used to come up here and... party man!" "...get wasted You losers" "Don't worry, you'll grow up one day HIggy" "You just need to meet the right girl" "Oh, my older sister would be perfect for you" "(snorting) What?" "She's legally blind but she can see shapes" "Anyways, Roxanne?" "How did you and Lenny meet?" "(slurrrIng) Good question" "How did this blob of crap...?" "No offence" "Meet this lola senIorIta" "Oh, he came Into the department store where I was working, I helped him" "He wanted me to try this skirt on" "Oh, the old try on the skirt trick" "I got ya, very sneaky sis" " Yeah he did trick me." "Because afterwards he made me try on a bra and hey, I was just trying to help" "Okay, okay, I did like him a little" "It was, It was a good day" "Oh God!" "Oh my water, my water's breaking!" "The baby's coming!" " Oh dear God" "Are you serious?" " Oh!" "yeah..." "I got you, I got you I got you" "I'm just playing" "('sentimental Lady' by Bob Welch)" "Oh my god It's..." "Do you know this song?" "Oh, this song Is the best" "this song Is the best" "# You are here and warm #" "Oh this song gets me so horny" " You know I was thinking that but now, not so much" "I'd like to claim credit for that" "Because that's all part of my get some nookie playlist" "Get the ladies on the dance floor And I got my lady right here" "Come on honey" " Aw..." " That was a good move" " Good m...all right, let's do this" "I know how much you love to dance" "Well you know me..." "I'm a regular Shavadoo" "# And all of the things that I said that I wanted # # Come rushing by In my head when I'm with you # # 14 joys and a will to be merry # # And all of the things that we say are very #" "# sentimental gentle wind #" "Look at you..." "all sexy" "Deanne?" "You should change your name to Deyonce" "Oh, God..." "Yeah so now he thinks I'm sexy huh?" "Can I just enjoy a dance with my fine ass wife" "Yes, to the whitest song ever...yes" "this Is the whitest song ever" "You know Lenny?" "You were right about bringing us here" "this place Is pretty special" " It Is, right?" "nothing's going on here and I love It" "Roxanne, I have made out with about 25 different girls In this very spot and I want you to be number 26" " As long as I'm the last one" " Oh, that's a guarantee" " I'm horny too" " What are you doing?" " Oww!" "(thud)" "(slapping)" "Lamonsoff, what are you doing up?" "That day was crazy" "Sally...she just attacked me, like never before, It was Insane" "I just did the same thing with my woman" "Really?" "Wow" "Hey, where's Saskatchatoon?" "Yeah!" "I don't know?" " What am I?" "(slap)" " A hose teaser (slap)" "(gloria moaning)" " Look at this" " What am I?" " A hose teaser!" " And where are you from?" " Saskatchatoon!" "What the..." "What are we going to do with HIggIns?" "You know what?" "this Is really pissing me off, because..." "You know what?" "...you can't be passed out drunk, single with no responsibility and not pay for It" "You should have to be hurt for that" "(whistling)" " Sweetheart?" "(groaning)" "You fell asleep on the couch again" "You know you're supposed to go to your room (slapping)" "Marcus, the bird Is all better Marcus..." "He want's to talk to you" "(flappIng)" "Marcus, you're going to be the best lifeguard at the whole pool" "Hold your breath honey Hold your breath honey" "(gasping)" "Who's that?" "Oh, It's Mommy's boyfriend the one who dresses you" "(whistling)" "(crying)" "He's crying...he's crying (sobbing)" " Momma?" " It's all right..." "It's all right" "It's okay baby" " It's okay precious" "Okay, I'm going to take you upstairs sweetie going to put your pj's on" "It's not right what you did" "You can't just sleep anywhere you know that" "You go to your room...you go to your room" "this Isn't a closet...this Is your bedroom" "Okay?" "You could..." "It's also your bathroom, you can make a pee pee" "(thud)" " I'm making a pee pee" "Happy Fourth of July everyone" "It's the birdies Independence day too so keep your fingers crossed honey" " Yay!" " Bye birdie" "('Monday morning' by Fleetwood Mac) # Monday morning you sure look fine #" "(speaking In spanish)" "That's so sexy...what did you say?" "Oh, I think she said..." "(imitating poorly)" "(laughter)" " That's great" "You know, these guys at the store were talking so much smack about this basketball rematch that was supposed to go on" "Well I'm glad we're getting these uniforms ready" "Oww..." "No more drinking" "did you really sleep In the closet you drunk?" "I think so" "No... (suction)" "Oww!" " Oh God!" " HIggIns!" "Oh, I had the...sexiest dream about a little blonde girl though" "YI..ya" "I think It was a dream" " Oh come on..." " That's sick!" "(phone vibrating)" "You know, these devIlled eggs would really be good If you had some marinara sauce" "Oh, It's Lenny's phone..." "Hello?" "All right, here we go..." "Oh!" "that's a three" "That's one, two, three..." "ladder!" " Oh come on" "Ladder!" " No" " Oh that's It" " The rich keep getting richer" "SchnIggly Is here, so come on robbie, tell the...tell the man what's going on" "He doesn't care" " Tell him" "gloria and I are thinking about having a baby together" "How great Is that?" " Isn't that nice?" "Wow...that's great" "You know the good news Is she can't get any more stretch marks" "(laughter)" "Wow...boy, that's a good one" "Th..the good thing also, Is that..." "gloria and the kid can share diapers" "Wow" "Man you see, that's just ugly" "He doesn't get It He's not In a commited relationship" "He doesn't get It, you know he can't because he can't stay" "In a commited relationship I'm trying" "Oh look...he's just mad because... all the girls I go out with are 70 to 80 years younger than his wife" " You can't stop him...you can't" " like the last one I was with" "So she's blonde, she's tall super hot...not your type me and blondie start going at It and you know, we're shaking the bed" " shaking the bed?" "I don't know..." "I just know wetting the bed" " shaking the bed..." "And right at the good part, you know?" "this picture behind, right on the wall...falls and goes (ImItates sound) hits her In the forehead" "She cut her head?" "It cuts her!" "I dIdn't slow down" "I just throw her two aspirins she yaps on 'em like a frisbee dog" " Hey boys!" "I am tired..." "Marcus!" "your snoring kept me up all night long" "(ImItates buzzer)" "You're a dead man!" " Oh wow!" " That's my baby girl!" " I thought you were my friend?" "!" " Leave me alone, drink your maze" " You're going to pay this time!" " No...!" "Bad turtle!" " You evil pig!" " Oww..." "Lenny!" "robbie, robbie!" " You're a psyco!" " Get off man!" " Jesus guys..." "Calm down!" "Buddy...buddy" "What's the problem?" "(kick landing)" " Ahh...!" " Ahh!" "..." "Oh..." "Oh" " Arrow foot, come here you baby...whee!" "Come on!" "Why are you fighting?" "Good to see midget wrestling again though I got to say" "How could you do that?" "That's my daughter!" " Do what?" "!" " Shake the bed with her!" "You think I would do that to you?" "!" "Out of any of us?" "yeah..." "You'd be the one to do that" "I mean you did sleep with StImpson's Mother" "I dIdn't even know that guy!" "It was your friend!" "I barely knew him!" "She grabbed my wiener..." "I told you guys!" "That's his daughter, It's different!" "Me and him?" "Okay, maybe I flirted with him but that was just to get your attention" " Well what about his snoring?" " I heard It too" "(ImItates buzzer)" "(kick landing)" " Ahh!" "Oh no!" "...twice?" "We heard It from three rooms away" "All right then, he's off the hook You know Marcus wouldn't be with your daughter." "I.." "I mean not that she's..." "You know what I'm saying" "Well what happened to your head?" "When I was changing Into my pj's" "I got the feeling that some perv was looking through my window" "So I went to go close the shade and I tripped and hit my head" "Yeah dude...that's your daughter." "I'd never be with her, you're my best friend man" "And jasmine would never be with me because I'm me" "Sorry I don't have my whole life together like Lenny" "Oh, together like Lenny...please" "I answered your phone you pIchacorta It was your assistant" "I asked him If he cancelled the flight to milan and he said he did..." "Before we even came here!" "He said that?" "Why would he say that?" " I mean..." " So he just made that up huh?" "I'm not saying he made It up..." "I think In his head he believes It's true" "Don't you agent me Lenny!" "Stop trying to handle everybody and everything and start taking a little responsibility for once!" "I'll take responsibility" "Okay, you're right I thought It would be better for our family to be here with normal people Instead of going to milan" "We're normal?" "I was scared to tell you It was easier for me to keep It a secret" "You peel back any marriage there are secrets" "mine Is..." "I..." "I love you" "I love you very much" "Roxanne, I just..." "I...our kids are becoming nutty, snotty, spoiled" "I..." "I...we got a Nanny, we got..." " So she Is a Nanny" " No, no, no. she's not a Nanny" " Of course she's a Nanny!" "When does the lying stop?" "It stops right after this" "She's more of an au pair okay?" "not really a Nanny" " Lenny - (laughing)" "All right that's It, the lying stops now I won't lie to you ever again, I swear to God" "I love you" "Men lie!" "They can't help themselves" "Kurt sure as hell lies!" "What do I lie about "Toe" J. simpson" "Oh please...the Nanny?" " What about the Nanny?" " You have a thing for her!" " I do not have a thing for the Nanny" "I'm a married man...period" "But did I enjoy having a nice conversation with a woman that wasn't going "where's this?" and "did you pick up that"" " Yeah" " Well you could have nice conversations with me" "When?" "You're always working and when you come home your just...you're tired all the time" "You barely even touch me or look at me" " He sounds like an old woman!" "Deanne, you should have married Umberto DenuzzIo like I told you" " Yeah and you know If I'd have stayed with him you'd be the one that's pregnant right now Momma!" "You're probably right sweetheart I'll just butt out" "Thank you!" "Look maybe I do take you for granted and I'm sorry" "How's about I take you out every Thursday night for date night?" "No, Thursday's Grey's Anatomy but..." "any other night would be beautiful" "As long as we're all being honest" "I think I should be honest too" "Um..." "I'm actually not a part owner of the lawn furniture store" "I don't even work there anymore I got laid off In april" "But I rented a Caddy and I acted like...you know, a big shot because I dIdn't want you guys to know" "Lamonsoff, you don't have to hide anything from us" "I'm sorry" "Yeah, since we're getting things off our chest here" "I've got a confession to make" "I'm wearing a toup" " No shit" "(laughter)" " I have a confession to make" "I'm really...a man" " No" " I said that" " I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding" "I'm really a little hurt that so many of you believed It" " No, no, no we were just saying..." " seriously, you're very womanly" "Nevertheless, I know It's not my place but uh... well after all, I am older than anyone here" " Hell yeah you are!" "Well despite the joking and the razzing I see a lot of love here" "And with love, comes hostility" "LIke uh..." "Rob, when he snapped at me the other day." "That was scary" "And you all thought that I was so calm" "But inside..." "inside I was saying gloria Noonan, do not call him a bug eyed socIopath with a little man complex" "Do not say that his hair makes him look like a dirty Q-tIp" " I lIke that" "Or that he resembles an elder...gay..." "Jonas brother" "They get It..." "they get the point about where you're going" "Or a midget PhIllIpIno FonzIe" "I dIdn't say any of those things" "That's my favorite one" "(all imitating FonzIe)" " Hey...!" "life can be difficult sometimes It gets bumpy" "What with family, and kids...and things not going exactly like you planned" "But that's what makes It interesting" "In life, the first act...alway's exciting" "The second act..." "that's where the depth comes In" " Why dIdn't you ever tell us that she gets It?" " Yeah you were really holding out" " That's what I've been trying to tell you guys" " Group hug!" "('Do I' by J. geils Band)" "# Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do # # Oh do I love you with all my heart #" "# I do, I do now, yes I do # # Do I want you to stay by my side #" "# I do, I do now, yes I do #" " Okay, It's In position" " I don't know man, this seems crazy" " It will be fun!" "Come on..." "I spent all morning blowing that thing up" " You should be all right" " Should be?" "!" " Yeah!" " Oh..." " Are you ready?" "Go!" "Ahh...!" " (everyone) Whoah!" "(slapping)" "Let's do that again!" "It's not a favor..." "It's like a great Investment for me man" "A car detailer, there's non around It's going to be a gold mine" "I don't want to take your money, I dont..." "You're not taking my money you're making me more" " I want In okay?" "I know the owner of the celtics and I can get us that account" "Those guys all drive Bentley's and ferrari's" " How do you know the owner of the celtics?" "Hey, I'm the leader of his Daughter's girl Scout troop" "Now If he wants to make sure she gets her cookie biz bash" "He will give us that account" "# Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do #" " You ready to have some fun?" " Yeah, hit It!" "(motor revving)" "Okay..." "(revvIng intensifies)" "It's not going you gotta get It In...high (full throttle)" " Whoo!" "(motor breaks)" "You really want to do this bailey?" "My five against your five" " Oh boy, look at this" "I see the boys stayed In shape huh?" " (burpIng)" " RobIdoe, good to see you" " Lenny..." "If you're looking at me..." "I don't know?" "Look fella's, we just want to eat some watermelon and relax, If youre all right with that?" "Oh no, It's not all right, you're not going to weasel out of this one Feder" "wiley snuck out of intensive care to see you finally get some justice" "Yo!" "you best be getting the ball In, Feder!" "Hey wiley..." "Was the field goal good?" "Yeah, first time I ever heard that one" "Okay, sorry man" "Oh, do you want me to get something off the top shelf?" "heard that one a lot too" "seriously though DIckIe let us just hang out with our families all right?" "we want to relax" "Yeah, they're afraid of us!" "that's what It Is" "We're afraid you might eat the ball before we even start the game" "Same old HIggIns, he can talk the talk, but he can't..." " I forget the rest" " Boo Ya!" "We got Rob here with the bad foot You can't do It right buddy?" "I think If the Buzzer was here..." "He'd want me to try" "I think he'd want us all to try" "Was that william Shatner?" "All right, let's do this then" " It's on!" "(all cheering)" "Game to 21" " Whoo!" "('Every 1's a winner' by Hot Chocolate)" "Guys,..." "look!" " Ahh...!" "# Never could believe the things you do to me # # I never could believe the way you are #" "# Every day I bless the day # # That you got through to me #" "# 'Cause baby I believe that you're a star #" "Well, well well If It Isn't the other black guy who grew up here" "No, no, no..." "In this town, I'm the black guy and you're the other black guy" "No man, In this town I'm the black guy When white people see me coming" "In their store, they get scared" "When white people see me coming In their store they run, okay?" " Wow..." " Yeah, these are my white people... go get your own white people" " You're crazy" "Lucky shot" "Defence...defence...defence" "In your face!" "Hey guys..." "motion 78" "# Baby, It's amazing just how wonderful It Is # # How the things we like to do are just the same #" "# Everyone's a winner baby that's true # # making love to you Is such a thrill #" "# Everyone's a winner, baby, that's no lie # # You never fail to satisfy (satisfy) #" "Show me what you got Say what..?" "Hey "Y"...where's "M.C.A"?" "Oh...he he" "(Curly barking)" "What the hell Is that?" "Sounds like owls having sex" " RobIdoe, heads up!" " Ahh...!" "Boo Ya!" "You made me spill my freaking beer!" "Honey, why does everything always have to be about you?" "Why do you always have to be such a dink?" "I can't do this anymore I can't even breathe" "I haven't felt my legs since the second quarter" "Hey, do you want to fake injuries?" " You got It" " Ohh!" "Oh, my God..." "I'm out of this game" " Oh!" "..." "I can't go on" "I got a slippery disc...oh It just slipped out" " Oh, hon..." "I'm done, I'm done" "this Is ridiculous, somebody's going to have a heart attack" "What are you doing?" "That's It?" " Darth Vader, let's go...sit down" "Ooh Is that a cannoli fron VergIllIo's?" "did you seriously just take your daughter's cannoli?" "from VergIllIo's, leave me alone" "Love tough Daddy!" "What do you say we bring my son and your son Into this?" "Done!" " GreggIe" " Me?" "...uh..." "Come on baby, you can do this!" "Hey bailey?" "And hey, somebody fill up that jug with some Boss water, for the Hollywood kid" "It's Voss, with a "V"" " Ooh Hoo..." "Hey, would you mind If I touched your belly?" "I love babies I love to feel them kick" "Yeah, go ahead" " Oh, thank you" "That's not my baby, that's my boob" "Oh, I lIke to feel of those too" " Hey!" "Hey, no harm done" "All right, 16 to 16" " Half court two on two..." "let's go" "Hey, keep your feet off the line this time please" " All right - 19 - 16, let's go" "Oh yes!" "It's raining threes on Hollywood" "Your foot was on the line!" "your foot was on the line!" "It aIn't raining threes..." "It's drizzling two's" "It's all right, It's all right...good shot" "That wasn't a three, his foot was on the line!" "Next basket wins, let's go" "Pump It Lenny!" "Bank's open Dad!" "He never misses that shot" "Down goes Hollywood, down goes Hollywood Down goes Hollywood!" "Sorry Dad, we'll crush the next year I'll work on my left when we get back to L.A." "That's my boy, come here" "I love you" "('Better things' by the kinks)" "# Here's wishing you the bluest sky # # And hoping something better comes tomorrow #" "Hey Lenny, I thought you never missed a bank shot" "Yeah, well I just thought the bailey's needed to learn how to win every once In a while and the Feder's needed to learn how to lose" " That was nice" " Yeah" "# Here's hoping all the days ahead # # Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you #" "Lenny, hey man..." "I know you're bummed about losing the game for us today" " And you're drunk?" " No!" "..." "Yes" "Hey man, there's one thing they'll never beat us at" "What's this?" " Arrow roulette baby!" " Yeah, yeah" " We are good at that" " All right everybody!" " What are you doing?" " Last one to stay In wins!" " No, no, no!" "(all screaming)" "Start running kids!" "# I hope tomorrow you'll find better things # # I know tomorrow you'll find better things #" "# I hope tomorrow you'll find better things #" " A little help here, take me with you" "seriously?" "...you're going to leave me?" "No...!" "(arrow landing)" " Ahh...!" "Haoww!" "We win again!" "(thud)" "repair and synchronization by Easy subtitles SynchronIzer 0.9.5.2"