"It's this weekend." "Lucas hasn't asked me to the semi-formal." "We're Riley and Lucas, aren't we, Maya?" "I don't know anymore." "Just tell me what to say." "It's all over the front of my notebook." ""Riley hearts Lucas 4-ever."" "What's on the back on your notebook?" ""Riley and Lucas, we're just friends."" "Sweetie, what are you doing to yourself?" "It's this weekend, and Lucas hasn't asked me to the semi-formal." "Told ya." "You got a problem." "You did?" "Have I brought this up before?" "It's 10 months away, why hasn't Lucas asked me to the semi-formal?" "Aah!" "There's nothing but time." "He doesn't ask you by the week before, I'll look at you like this, and say, "you got a problem."" "Stop planning your life so far in advance." "I'm not." "When the time comes, I want my ashes scattered over..." "Lucas." "Is it Lucas?" "Yeah, I know." "It's five months away, why hasn't Lucas asked me to the semi-formal?" "Aah!" "There's nothing but time." "He doesn't ask you by the week before, I'll look at you like this, and say, "you got a problem."" "You know, you look at me like that a lot." "Well, you got a lot of problems." "I do." "Yes, Riley, you've had problems before, but you haven't had a Lucas problem until now." "Aah!" "Why does he keep doing that?" "Lockers, blackboard." "Chalk, chalk dust." "Your daddy." "How long you gonna keep doing it?" "Till he comes out." "Okay, I'm done!" "Semi-formal coming up." "Young men and young women interacting." "Mixing in a social situation." "So, to avoid any casualties, I thought we could discuss etiquette." "Can anyone here tell me what etiquette is?" "No, you can't." "Etiquette is treating people politely and with respect." "Maya and I will demonstrate in a short play we put on before every dance." "It's called, "no."" "Miss hart, would you do me the great honor of accompanying me to the semi-formal festivities?" "No." " Etiquette." " Etiquette." " Thank you." " Thank you." "We'll see you at the holidays for "a Christmas no."" "Okay, so..." "The school board sent me this film." "It's called, "he asked me, he asked me, he really asked me."" "This is supposed to teach us how to act at the dance?" "They sent it." "I'm showing it." "You're animals." "Oh, there's a dance, and you're planning to attend this dance that you never mentioned in my general vicinity, that dance?" "Actually, I wanna talk to you about that... go on." "Psst." "Talk after class." "Have you no sense of anything?" "Nope." "Let's watch." "Oh, what's this here?" "Well, enjoy the old-time picture show." "Well, if it isn't our old friend, Billy." "Last time we saw you, Billy, you were teaching us that our bodies go through strange and horrifying changes." "Uck." "But today, we're here to talk about the biggest night in a young person's life." "The semi-formal." "Billy's been looking forward to it all year." "Isn't that right, Billy?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, Billy." "Because you know who hangs out at dances?" "Your old friends polio, typhoid, and the devil." "He's mean." "Now, let's meet your best gal, Sally, who, since you're a gentleman, you asked to the dance at least 10 months in advance." "Billy gets it." "Billy's dead, and all of his friends are dead too." "Except one." "No, wait, now he's dead too." "It does seem like relationships are a little more complex now than they were in the 1950s." "I just wanna be asked to the dance." " You wanna go to the dance?" " No." "Oh, you've seen my play." "Meet Sally." "She's a good girl." "Sally's dreaming of her handsome prince sweeping her off her feet." "Did he ask you, Sally?" "He asked me, he asked me!" "He really asked me!" "You and me, Sally." "Front of the notebook, baby." "Because everybody knows the semi-formal is the dance that determines the rest of your life." "Oh, there's nothing like a beautiful gown that makes you feel like you're in a beautiful gown." "How you enjoying the picture show, Sally?" "Life is so much simpler in black and white." "Look how Billy holds the door open for Sally so she won't develop unsightly arm muscles." "Now that's etiquette." "Yikes." "Okay." "So, can anyone here tell me if they possibly learned anything from that?" "Yes." "Time to make some choices, Billy." "Simple enough for you, Billy?" "Stand aside, underpants." "Underpants?" "You're the brother of a senator now." "Security issues." "That's your codename." "Underpants!" "Yeah." "As a new senator, I need protection." "I'm not sure if you're aware of this, there's a lot of people out there that'd like to do me harm." "And in here." "Plus, ever since I was elected, some guy's been stalking me." "He's there." "Oh, he's walking through the oorway-day." "Agent Lachance, sir." "Secret service." "I'm assigned to senator Matthews' security detail." "Wait, you are?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "I've told you several times, senator." "I keep saying "secret service,"" "you keep saying, "I'll have the hummus."" "And I never got my hummus." "I'm not room service, I'm secret service." "I haven't eaten in three days!" "I'm sorry you got stuck with him." "Actually, he's the smartest senator I've ever worked with." "Ask him why he's here..." "Underpants." "I'll play along." "Why are you here?" "Senate resolution 328-17 awards a multi-billion dollar natural gas pipeline to either the good company or the evil one." "I'm in town to meet with the guy from the evil company." "He's going to try to buy my vote." "Can you be bought?" "I don't know." "Eric, is that even connected to anything?" "This?" "No, this is candy." "It's not the candy one!" "It's not the candy one!" "You know what I think?" "I think he's waiting until the very last minute, and then he's gonna do the big ask." "Sure, he is." "First, there'll be balloons in your locker." "Ooh!" "Then, people will hand you roses until you have a big bouquet." "What the?" "Keep making things happen, Maya!" "Aah!" "Okay, uh... disco ball?" "Music?" "Yogi on skates!" "Drop a banner, and then Lucas is right there next to you." " Riley..." " Yes, yes!" "I would love to go to the semi-formal with you!" "Good." "I was hoping you would." "Meet Riley, a swell gal who finds herself in quite the pickle!" "What will she do?" "What will she do?" "When we last left our hero, she said she'd go to the dance with Charlie gardner." " That's me." " Oh, Charlie." "I can't believe that you actually said yes." "I waited because I was sure Lucas was gonna ask you, but when he didn't, I just figured there was a problem." "So, I asked you because I think a girl like you deserves to be swept off her feet." "Uh-oh." "What do I do?" "Are you asking me?" "Because if you're asking me, I say you give me a chance." "Uh-oh." "Charlie, I want to thank you for the flowers and the banner and yogi on skates." "Yeah, I had to teach him." "Aah!" "But there's only so much time in the day." "I'm so sorry, but I can't go." " You can't go with me?" " No, I can't go with anybody." "I can't go with anybody because I can't go with anybody" "Yes..." "That night because I can't go anywhere that night" "Yes..." "Because my parents have something that night." "What Riley will realize immediately is that her father is one of the chaperones at the dance." "Isn't your dad one of the chaperones at the dance?" "I'm not talking about those parents." "Well, there's no coming back from that." "Uh, yes, yes, there is, Maya, because, see, my dad is at the dance, and my mom, my other parent I was talking about..." " okay." " Is also not home that night." "And so I promised her I would babysit my little brother, Auggie, because nobody had asked me to the dance." "I'm so proud of us." "She's obviously had a good bad influence." "Well, Riley's gotten herself out of this mess, what could possibly go wrong now?" "Oh, you can't go to the dance?" "Unbelievable!" "Well, you two must have a lot to talk about." "But before I go, I'd like you both to know that I don't regret asking her." "I did it because I know you're the type of person who would give up the dance to help your parents out." "Uh, let me understand this, you..." "you asked Riley to the dance?" "I did because, see, you didn't." "And I'm sorry, but do you need more than 10 months?" "Charlie, you may not know this, but Riley and I kinda have an unofficial thing going." "Yeah, but I've been tracking this thing all year, and I've seen both sides of her notebook." " You let him see your notebook?" " It was only one time." "So, what happens now?" "Guess that'd depend on Riley, wouldn't it?" "Close your mouth, Riley." "Well, I'll leave you guys to it." "I just naturally assumed that we were going together." " What?" " I thought we were going together." "I'm..." "I should have asked." " What?" " I'm sorry you can't go." "Do it for me." "Unbelievable!" "And now this." "Why, agent Lachance, this might just be the start of the best friendship since..." "Jack, who was that guy I used to know?" "What's up, buddy?" " Jack!" " Eric!" " Hey!" " Come on!" "How are you doing?" "I'm a senator now, didn't you hear?" "No!" "Yeah, it's the end of the world." "Haha!" "Probably." "So..." "I mean, what are you doing here?" "What?" "I need a reason to see my friend?" "So, we're still friends?" "'Cause I haven't seen you in a really long time." "Not a day goes by that your voice still isn't inside my head." "No matter what I do." "You know what I'm doing right now?" "Come on, sit down." "I'm actually senatoring right now." "Yeah, I'm waiting for some evil guy from some evil company who's gonna come in and try to sleaze his way into my pocket to buy my vote." "Really?" "Why would he do that?" "Well, because the other company is really environmentally conscious, and they saved the polar bears, but the evil company is scum who turns clean water into dirty water, and hires really good-looking employees with pocket squares and hair that goes "swoosh"..." "To hide their company's evil faces." "You're still an idiot genius, aren't you?" "Jack Hunter joined the peace corps with Rachel McGuire." "She stayed, you left, and you joined an evil company, and you haven't been the same ever since." "You know all about me, huh?" "I know what all my friends are doing." "What I don't know is why?" "Remember when we were kids?" "And the toughest choice we had was which one of us was gonna end up with Rachel?" "Rachel!" "What we never knew was that life was preparing us to make the right decisions later." "But then, you know, you get a little older." "Grow up, and face another choice, and you make the wrong decision." "Why does that happen?" "I don't know, Jack." "I wasn't there." "And now I'm in a position to influence the whole world." "What do you know?" "Me too." "I guess the only choice left is who influences who." "Well, I guess that's up to us now, isn't it?" "Hey, you free tonight?" "Yeah, I'm free." "It's New York City." " What'cha got in mind, buddy?" " Hahaha, don't touch." "Help me." "I got nothing." "Help me!" "This one's a doozy." "You've been in here six hours." "We don't hear any talking." "The bay window's broken." "What's up?" "I got asked to the semi-formal." "Oh, Lucas got around to it?" "No, Lucas assumed we were going." "I got asked by Charlie." "Gardner?" "I like him." "Little quiet, so far." "So, why aren't you dressed?" "Because I kinda made up a story and said I couldn't go." "And Lucas overheard, and now Sally's in a pickle!" "What is that?" "What are you doing?" "What is that?" "I'm never stopping." "Cheese souffle!" "Listen, Riley..." "I'm disappointed you felt you had to make up a story." "What's wrong with Charlie?" "Nothing." "It's just, he's kinda... swell!" "I just had this vision in my head about how the semi-formal was supposed to go." "How Lucas would ask, the dress I would wear, the corsage he would give me." "Riley didn't do anything wrong." "No?" "No." "I think she's just..." "Confused about how she feels." "How am I supposed to feel, Maya?" "I like Lucas, don't I?" "You were me." "How did I feel when you were me?" "What are me and Lucas?" "Just tell me what to say." "You know something." "Tell me." "Go to the dance." "I can't." "They're gonna punish me." "Go to the dance." "They're not gonna punish me." "Actually, we kinda are." "How?" "Well, Lucas and Charlie are both gonna be at the dance." "You need to face them, Riley." "You've got choices to make." "Oh, boy." "All right, I'll go." "What color goes with shame?" "Riles, look, big turnout." "Good." "Maybe there's a chance I won't run into either of them." "Oh, this is my punishment." "My parents are smart." "Hi." "Riley, dance?" "Absolutely." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no." "Riley's busy." "I'll dance with you." "That works for me." "You're Riley or Maya." "I owe you both an apology." "If we didn't know who you really are, Riley, then maybe you would." "You don't owe me anything." "So, you guys are both just gonna let me off the hook?" "Mmm... not really." "Well, then what are you gonna do?" "Well, see, I talked to Charlie, 'cause, you know, I thought he should have known better than to ask you to this dance." "Yeah, but when I explained the whole "10 months, five months, week before the dance" thing was kinda disrespectful," " we decided..." " Well, no, Charlie." "I think what we came up with is that it wasn't so much disrespectful as it was an assumed understanding between my friend Riley and me that we would, you know, naturally go to this dance together." "Which is when I said that the semi-formal deserves a little extra effort, like balloons and roses and yogi on skates." "Yeah, well..." "You know what?" "I gotta give you points for that." " That was a good one." " Thanks, man." "After I saw you put her on a white horse, I knew I had to bring it." "Yes?" "What is going on here?" "I really like this guy, Riley." "He's all right." " Yeah, new friendship." " Thanks to you." "Wait a minute!" "What do I do here?" "Oh, well, that's up to you, Riley." "Yeah." "Why make it easy for you?" "Here we are." "Are you kidding me?" "You brought me to a school dance?" "No, Jack, I brought you back in time." "See, look..." "There's Feeny." "Cory!" " Jack?" " 'Sup buddy!" " Hey!" " Hey!" "How's life treating you?" "Well, you know, I'm at a middle school dance, and your brother's my date." "So, nothing's changed." "Guys, do you remember?" "We used to be just like them." "I remember us every day." "What are you guys doing here?" "I wanted to bring him back to a time when life was a little less complicated." "I thought it was either gonna be the front of my notebook or the back of my notebook, but now there's another guy, so I think I'm gonna need to get a whole new notebook because Maya won't tell me how I feel." "Adults have it easy, dad." "All you decide is what's for dinner and what to put the thermostat at." "92!" "That's why all the polar bears left." "I'm the one who global warmed them." "Dad?" "Wait, this is your daughter?" " Hi, I'm Riley." " Hi." "Oh, hi, Riley, it's a pleasure to meet you." "What is it like having a daughter, man?" "How do you like two people differently?" "Jack, you wanna know what it's like having a daughter?" "Why don't you take this one?" "Oh, buddy." "Well, um..." "Okay, there was once this girl who had to make a choice between Eric and me." "She liked me as a boyfriend." " And she liked me..." " How?" "How did she like you?" "She liked me as a brother." "Are you two still friends?" "You know what?" "I haven't seen her in a really long time." "Are you two still friends?" "Yeah, we talk all the time." "She and I are still great friends." "Keep your friends around as long as you can." "That's the best choice you can make." "Dad?" "Riley, you got a lot to think about." "Why don't you go dance with your friends?" "Man..." "Keeping you around was always the best choice I ever made, wasn't it?" "Yeah." "I gotta go." "Hey, everybody." "Hi." "You all helped to get me elected, so I wanted to do something a little bit special for you." "So, ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Kangarootown, Sheppard." "Hey, guys, we're Sheppard." "Now, everybody grab your dates and hit the floor!" " Hi." " Hey." "Why did you assume we were going to the dance if we're not officially together?" "I don't know." "Why would you make a big deal about it if we're not officially together?" "Why would you make such a big deal about me asking her if you're not officially together?" "Yeah, no, I don't do that." "Why would you be dancing with me if you're officially a huckleberry?" "No, I'm not dancing with you." "How you doin'?" "I hate to break it to you, cowboy, but you're still dancing with me, and Riley's dancing with that guy." "I'm sorry everything didn't work out as planned, Charlie." "Hey, I'm here, and we're dancing." " We're all dancing." " We're all friends." "What else is there to figure out?" "Hi." "Hey." "Hi." "I'm senator Eric Matthews, and this is my niche, Riley." "Hi." "And her friend, mayonnaise." "You're not even trying anymore." "When I was a kid like them, there used to be polar bears all over New York City." "But now, because of "uh-oh, we broke the earth,"" "these bears have been forced to move to places their travel agents told them were colder, but aren't anymore." "Help me make the right decisions." "Let's make the world cold where it's supposed to be." "It's the warm thing to do." "This message is brought to you by... my heart."