"Previously on rescue me... let me get this straight." "I'm bangin' my science" "Teacher." "Mrs. Turbody?" "Do you want to ask me" "Something?" "Quite frankly, missy, I'm" "Pretty disgusted." "I'll only discuss this off" "School grounds over drinks." "You're tellin' me that I" "Have to put my wife of 31 years" "Into a home?" "Good-Bye, jerry." "Hey, daddy." "She never even had the" "Decency to come to her own" "Mother's funeral!" "She's changed." "Now come on over here." "Hey, probie, you know" "Anything about this chick" "Garrity's been seein'?" "Nah." "He's been pretty" "Tight-Lipped about her." "I know" "She's older, though." "So, uh, have you given any" "More thought to, you know, when" "We might, uh... tell Tommy?" "Yeah." "No." "You can't keep your eye" "On your own son while he rides" "His bike down the goddamn block." "You came to me and asked to" "Be taken back in." "There's blood" "On my hands, there's blood on" "Your hands, too." "You know the only good thing" "To come out of this is that now" "I don't have to watch Connor" "Grow up and turn out exactly" "Like you." "I don't belong to f-Bomb" "Anymore." "I don't belong to" "Anyone." "He took the money?" "Yes, sir." "How long did you know her?" "Uh, a little over a month." "Said she could buy her way out" "If she had enough money to give" "To her pimp." "I gave her $18,000." "Did she give you a name?" "She told me her name was" "Candy." "So Janet's not gonna go" "The lawyer route, so you don't" "Have to waste any more of your" "Money." "Uh-Huh." "She wants you to cover" "All of her expenses and the" "Costs for the girls." "Is she seeing' someone?" "Is everybody coming to the" "Party?" "Yeah, I'm just waitin' to" "Hear from a few people." "Some" "People I hope I never hear from." "It's my party." "I want the" "Whole goddamn family there," "Including Janet." "I know, but it is gonna ruin" "It for Tommy." "It's gonna be a" "Total disaster." "I can see it." "Are you kiddin'?" "We're gonna" "Have chink food and birthday" "Cake." "You can't have a disaster" "With that combination." "If they" "Had had chink food and birthday" "Cake at normandy, world war ii," "Over." "Does Tommy talk about me?" "Oh, for Christ sake." "Get me a" "Cup of tea." "'Cause this whole comin' over" "Here and lookin' after you" "Thing, I mean, is it really" "About comin' over here and" "Lookin' after you, or is it some" "Kind of, you know... thing." "Now, look, I pissed the bed 3" "Times in the last 15 days." "I" "Can't drive anymore, and I can" "Barely walk." "Believe me, the" "Last goddamn thing this is is a" "Goddamn thing." "What thing?" "Oh, this thing." "Look." "What is it?" "It's a travel mug, so you can" "Drink your coffee on the way to" "Work." "It's nice, right?" "Oh, yeah, it's gorgeous." "You" "Know, they should put a little" "Screen in the side so you can" "Watch gay porn in between sips." "It's nice!" "It's gay." "It's got a no-Spill feature." "A lot of these mugs, they say" "That they have it, and it's" "Total bullshit because this has" "A absolute no-Spill feature." "I read about it in gq." "Really?" "Who wrote the" "Article, brian boitano?" "Listen, speaking of brian" "Boitano, Janet's coming to the" "Party." "So?" "Just so you know." "I don't care." "It's a family" "Event." "She should be there." "I" "Got no problem with that." "Unless" "She brings her new boyfriend, in" "Which case, I'm gonna stick this" "Brokeback coffee travel thing" "Right up his goddamn ass." "You know she's got a guy?" "She didn't waste much" "Time, did she?" "And people call" "Me a whore." "Well, they do." "I gotta go." "Wait, wait, wait, take your" "Mug." "No." "Take it." "Take it." "I don't want it." "Why not?" "I quit smokin'." "If I have" "Coffee in the car, I'm gonna" "Want a smoke, so... oh, bullshit, you quit" "Smoking!" "We all quit smokin' down at" "The house, OK?" "Everybody put 50" "Bucks into, you know, the pool," "And last man standing gets to" "Take the whole kitty." "Oh, oh, the mug's" "Too gay, but the word "kitty,"" "Even without there bein' a cat" "Around?" "Apparently not!" "Wow, 6 guys." "You know, if" "Only 3 of them screw up, that's" "A nice chunk of change." "Yep." "What are you gonna do if you" "Win?" "Buy some cigarettes." "Wait, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy." "Listen, I was gonna come back" "This afternoon and check up on" "Pops, but I can't 'cause now I" "Have a parent-Teacher meeting at" "Damian's school." "About what?" "I don't know... bad grades, bad" "Attitude." "He ever mention a" "Teacher to you, a Ms. Turbody?" "Tss... no." "Nope." "'Cause that's who I'm" "Meeting." "She must be pretty" "Special 'cause Damian just loves" "Her." "Really?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "What?" "You've seen her." "Seen who?" "What are you" "Talkin' about?" "Oh, God, I know!" "I know, not" "Only do you know who she is, but" "You've actually seen her, and" "You obviously think she's hot!" "Come to..." "I know all your grunts and" "Your tics and your tells." "Really?" "Yeah, inside and out," "Especially the tell that" "Involves the "uh-Huh" with your" "Tongue licking' at your lower" "Lip." "It means you are lying at" "Your basest level." "I gotta go." "I can read you like a" "Dog-Eared goddamn book." "OK, I was dropping him off" "For the sex talk thing, and he" "Pointed her out." "Don't forget to give dad his" "Enema." "Wait." "What?" "Gotcha." "Nnh!" "* on another day," "Come on, come on," "With these ropes I tied," "Can we do no wrong?" "Now we grieve" "'Cause now is gone," "Things were good" "When we were young," "With my teeth locked down" "I can see the blood" "Of a thousand men" "Who have come and gone," "Now we grieve" "'Cause now is gone," "Things were good" "When we were young," "Is it safe to say?" "Come on, come on," "Was it right to leave?" "Come on, come on," "Will I ever learn?" "Come on, come on," "Come on, come on," "Come on, come on *" "[Captioning made possible by" "Sony pictures television]" "Hey, day tour starts at 9 A.M., lieutenant." "Oh, really?" "I didn't know." "Tommy here yet?" "Yeah, he just got here a" "Couple of minutes ago." "Can I" "Talk to ya?" "About that smokin' thing?" "What?" "Never mind." "I have a situation." "Uh, that" "Place where I have jeannie?" "The place in connecticut." "Yeah." "They just raised the" "Monthly rent another 250 bucks." "Jeez." "I mean, it's not that I don't" "Have it, but I just, uh, figured" "If I did get in a pinch, maybe I" "Could come to you." "I don't know, jer." "Tommy's dealin' with his" "Wife, and his finances are a" "Mess, and the young guys, I" "Mean, those Julio fongulios are" "Livin' paycheck to paycheck." "Right." "I mean, it's not like you're" "Hurtin' for money, right?" "I" "Mean, you just sold the house." "You must be sittin' pretty." "Yeah, well, you know, I had" "To give half to the ex-Wife," "Plus I had a second mortgage to" "Pay off." "I mean, I'm sittin'," "But it ain't pretty, believe me." "Well, this'd only be a couple" "Of hundred bucks, and that's if" "I even need it." "Did you ever think about" "Maybe, you know, movin' her" "Someplace." "I mean, someplace" "Cheaper?" "It's not like she's" "Gonna know." "Jesus, Lou." "I'm sorry, jer." "I'm... but, look, just... if I need a" "Couple of hundred bucks, I mean," "Can I come to you?" "Sure." "You sure?" "Yeah." "Sure, it's fine." "Thanks, kenny." "So anyways, he spits the" "Cigar out like I didn't even see" "Him, you know?" "Right in front of" "Me." "Yep." "Second offense, that's 100 bucks in the kitty." "Thank" "You, lieutenant kenny shea." "Do you mind if we, uh, call" "The kitty the can from now on?" "Why?" "Ah, it's just an idea." "What's, uh... what's going on" "With that?" "Oh, nothing." "I'm, uh," "Thinking about taking the" "Lieutenant's exam." "Really?" "Yeah." "You know, uh, the test" "In a few months." "Well, if you're looking for" "Less fires and more paperwork, I" "Guess that's a good idea." "I don't know, Tom, you" "Know, I'm just, um, thinking" "About, you know, wanna better" "Myself, my position." "Uh-Huh." "Well, I don't know." "Life's" "All about moving up, right?" "You know, frankie, uh, when I" "Started out, first firehouse I" "Was in, it was me and 4 fat" "Guys, and I think sometimes we" "Forget what a good crew we have" "Here, you know?" "I mean you take" "That test and you just get" "Assigned." "You could end up with" "A midget and... and 4 idiots, but" "You're in charge." "Is that what" "You want?" "I got a kid at home, Tom, OK?" "A puerto rican kid." "You know," "Her mom was a spic." "I'm a spic," "And she's gonna end up stuck in" "New York city public schools" "For, like, the next goddamn" "Decade unless I do something" "About it." "I mean, personally," "I'd like to see her in the best" "Private schools in the city with" "Wealthy white kids, schools" "Where they don't, you know, stab" "Or kill each other." "Where they" "Just do really good drugs, get" "Incredible grades," "And go to great white colleges," "Do even better drugs, and then" "Graduate with well-Connected" "White friends who can help them" "Get hired into the upper" "Echelons of white American" "Society." "Now those schools, they" "Top out at what, like, 15 grand" "A year now?" "And ultimately in" "College almost 50k a pop." "Now if" "I'm a lieutenant making almost 50 grand a year total, I don't" "Know, you know," "Between me and the federal" "Government, maybe I can pull it" "Off." "She's puerto rican, man." "She's also a girl with no mom." "I" "Need to do her solid." "I gotcha." "You know they... they" "Have blow-Job contests in those" "Private schools." "There was a" "Huge article in the new yorker" "Magazine about it." "Yeah, I read it, Tom." "You" "Know, I don't know." "Maybe I'm" "Hoping my kid has a shot at" "Winning one of those." "Holy shit." "How much?" "450." "Holy shit." "It's only been a" "Couple days." "I know, but Tommy put in 50." "Lou put in 50." "I put in 50." "How much you put" "In?" "150." "No way." "Way, bro." "What happened?" "I went to have dinner with" "Polack dave." "You remember polack" "Dave." "Yeah." "He's a nice guy." "Yeah." "Not even polish." "Weird," "Huh?" "Anyway, his wife makes" "Dinner, apple pie for dessert." "Strike one." "I can't have apple" "Pie without having a cigarette." "What?" "Yeah." "It's a chemical thing." "Yeah, I get that totally." "I" "Got the same thing, only for me" "It's chocolate." "Yeah." "No, mine's apple pie." "Oh, and I had another cigarette" "When I was having sex with my" "Girlfriend." "Yeah, the old cigarette after" "Sex." "No, it's more like during." "You know, she was on top and I," "Uh, I couldn't really focus, you" "Know, get the job done watching" "Her inhale, so I light up, bing" "Bang boom, saints go marching" "In." "Mmm." "You're awfully quiet" "Over there, Lou." "Nothing to add?" "Oh, don't worry." "Soon as I" "Think of something as equally" "Idiotic, I'll chime right in." "Put your, uh, money in the" "Can there, uh, smoky?" "You're a regular riot, alice." "Tommy bagged Lou crossing a" "Street with a big old heater" "Goin'." "Oh, busted, Lou." "That's 100" "Bucks in the kitty." "In the can. 100 bucks in the" "Can." "Well, kitty, can, whatever." "Come on, sailor, pony up." "Look, sorry, guys." "I'm a" "Little light today, all right?" "What are you talking about?" "You always got a wad of cabbage" "On you." "Yeah, well, not today, all" "Right?" "Don't worry." "I'll get it" "In there." "Well, when?" "Well, what, you don't think" "I'm good for it?" "L..." "I didn't say that." "I told you I'm gonna put it" "In there." "So when?" "Like by the end of" "The day?" "You know what?" "Screw you" "Guys, all right?" "You make your" "Own goddamn lunch." "I'm done." "Lou... shut your face." "I'm done, you" "Bunch of assholes." "Whoohoohoo." "What did I do?" "Uh, he's been a little bit on" "Edge lately." "I guessed that." "Yeah." "The no smoking thing" "Isn't helping." "Stop talking about me!" "We're not talking about you." "Bullshit." "Aish." "You're coming to the" "Party, right?" "Yes." "Yeah?" "You gonna bring your" "New girl?" "Uh... yeah, we can finally get a" "Look at her, you know." "No, no." "She's not gonna make" "It." "She's not gonna be there at" "All." "At all." "No, not at all." "She, uh, she" "Can't, um, she can't come late" "To things, so she's just, you" "Know, it's, like of all the" "People at the party, she's not" "Gonna... great." "Great." "You bringing" "Somebody... somebody less" "Complicated hopefully?" "Uh, no." "I'm banging this" "Chick, but I never seen her out" "With people." "If she eats the way" "She gets it on, well, nobody" "Needs to see that." "Really?" "Yeah." "Well, I'm coming, too, by" "Myself, and it's the last thing" "I'm saying to you assholes." "Still pissed off about that" "Kitty bullshit." "You... you mean the can" "Bullshit." "What can?" "You're pissed off about the" "Can bullshit, right?" "What can you talking..." "I" "Messed up the can?" "OK, forget the can." "All right, you know what?" "Screw the kitty." "Screw the can." "Whatever." "That's all I'm saying" "To you guys, all right?" "From now" "On, I'm not here!" "All right!" "Holy shit." "Jesus." "Who you bringing, Tom?" "Let's put it this way." "Condoleezza rice, at this stage," "Is using her cock more than I'm" "Using mine, all right?" "I can't believe what I'm" "Hearing here, man." "I mean, what" "The hell is happening to us?" "I know." "Not to me, actually." "You" "Know, I been banging it out like" "A goddamn sledge hammer." "But you, Tommy, come on." "I know." "All right." "We got to take" "Immediate action." "We're gonna" "Get you laid, and we're gonna" "Get you laid." "Matter of fact," "We're gonna get everybody laid." "I say we go on a lotus field" "Trip tonight." "Who's with me?" "I'm in." "I don't know, frank." "You don't know." "Jesus Christ," "Probie, what's not to know, OK?" "It's lotus." "Models, actresses." "Did I mention models?" "Mm-Hmm." "Hey, I'm in, but only as a" "Wing man." "Team player." "Got a girl." "I don't wanna" "Mess it up, but I'll go to be a" "Team player, you know?" "Plus," "There's models." "Good man." "Tom?" "Nah." "Changed my mind." "Hey," "Lou, you coming?" "Already booked us a table." "9:00, assholes." "All right, Jesus, I got to" "Talk to somebody, man." "It's" "Killin' me." "Why?" "What's goin' on?" "Well, you know this girl that" "I been seein'?" "Yeah." "It's pretty serious, man." "I" "Think..." "I think she might be the" "One." "No shit." "Who is she?" "Well, see, that's the" "Problem." "It's Maggie, Tommy's" "Sister." "Get away from me." "What?" "Why?" "I don't know you." "I don't" "Want to know you." "I don't even" "Want to know this information," "Sean, 'cause that alone is" "Grounds for him to come after me" "Once he's done you in." "Oh, come on." "You really think" "He's gonna be that upset?" "Come" "On, we been friends for like 8" "Years." "Seano, years ago, a guy from 24 truck grabbed Maggie's ass at" "A Christmas party." "Grabbed her" "Ass." "Long story short, the guy's" "Got fake teeth and a dent in his" "Forehead now." "Jesus, an actual dent?" "Yeah, well, you know, they" "Call it a dent." "It's actually" "More like a giant hole." "Wow." "Ow." "Oh, shit, Sean." "There must be 5 million broads in this city," "You gotta pick Tommy's sister?" "Not to mention she's insane." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "No, no, no, no, no." "Brother," "I'm not sayin' insane like some" "Kind of judgment thing." "I'm" "Sayin' like the very serious" "Mental disorder." "She's a total" "Wack job." "I know." "I know, but that's... that's like why she's perfect" "For me, you know?" "It's like why" "I became a firefighter." "I run" "Into a burning building, my" "Heart's beatin' a mile a minute." "I don't know if I'm gonna get" "Out of this alive." "That's what" "It's like bein' with her." "It's" "Like she could snap at any" "Minute and, like, you know, take" "Me out." "It's really... she's" "Dangerous." "I like it." "Ha ha." "You" "Know what?" "I'm gonna tell Tommy" "What's goin' on." "I gotta tell" "Him." "Yeah?" "Well, here's your" "Chance, champ." "Good luck." "Douche bag, hey, next time I" "Find your Scott pack in a seat" "Where my ass belongs, you're" "Gonna find my Scott pack halfway" "Up your goddamn colon." "OK, you know what?" "Maybe" "I'll, uh, tell him later." "Yeah." "Seems busy." "All right, all right." "Thanks, baby." "Yo, who's" "Gettin' this." "I thought it was" "Lou's round." "Yeah, perfect time for him to" "Disappear." "I'm tapped, guys." "I got it, boys." "Good man." "There is plenty of talent" "Here tonight, boys." "You can't" "Make it here, you can't make it" "Anywhere." "There's a dame that's" "Been checkin' us out all night." "Oh, yeah?" "Where?" "At the end of the bar." "Sexy." "Very sexy." "Ah, sure of herself." "Independent." "Yep." "With a great rack." "I'm" "Goin' over." "You know, she looks like my" "Mom." "What did you say?" "That lady, she reminds me of" "My mom." "Shit." "Your mom is that hot?" "Oh, yeah." "Oh, yeah." "I mean," "Hotter really." "Your mom has that kind of" "Face?" "Those lips?" "That kind of," "Uh, rack?" "Yeah, well, uh, my mom's rack" "Is a little bigger, actually." "OK, you know what?" "Where do" "You get off mentioning your mom" "And the word "rack" in the same" "Sentence?" "I'm just sayin', my mom," "She's got like a large set of," "You know... she's really in terms" "Of the... enough!" "Jesus Christ." "What?" "God damn it." "I was gonna go" "Over and talk to that chick." "Let" "Me qualify that 'cause she's not" "A chick." "In a room full of self" "Involved, young, titless" "Little chicks," "She's a woman, OK?" "A real woman." "Probably a very, very witty and" "Wonderful woman." "With a great rack." "The rack was secondary, OK?" "It doesn't matter now, but the" "Point being, I can't go over and" "Talk to her now." "Well, why?" "Why not?" "Because even if I went over" "And talked to her and got her to" "Go home with me somehow and got" "Her to reveal the aforementioned" "Great rack, all I'd be thinkin'" "About is your mom's rack and how" "Great your mom's rack is." "Not" "That I've ever thought of your" "Mom's rack before, but that's" "All I can think of now!" "Your" "Mom's rack!" "Whoa, hey, you know what?" "My" "Mom's married, pal, OK?" "Jesus." "What?" "Forbidden fruit, ball-Face." "You mean like melons?" "Yeah, hey." "Hey, it's me... your ex." "Because you sounded" "Like you didn't know who... listen, listen, you know my" "Father's watch, the Gold watch" "That they gave him?" "I need it." "Well, because it's mine, that's" "Why." "Yeah, well, look, I realize" "That that was the plan, but we" "Never had a son, so there's no" "One to pass it on to, so I want" "It back." "Listen, I'm comin' over in the" "Morning, and you're gonna give" "It to me, and I don't want any" "Bullshit, OK?" "End of discussion!" "Oh, really?" "Oh, you're goin'" "Away for the weekend?" "Oh, that" "Must be nice." "It must be nice to" "Be able to do that." "I want my" "Watch!" "Jesus Christ, would somebody" "Please make a move?" "I'm just watchin'." "Yeah, Chief, that's the" "Problem." "We're all just" "Watchin', OK?" "What the hell's" "The proble doin'?" "900 pounds of" "Fresh ass in here, he's over" "There talking' to some dude." "It's his friend hank." "He went" "Through the probie school with" "Him." "Yeah, well, that's real" "Sweet." "Excuse me, guys." "Do I know" "You?" "Because I was sitting over" "There with my friend, gail... that's her over there." "Hi, gail." "Anyway, I'm sitting over there," "And I'm looking at you, and I'm" "Thinking, "I know this guy." "I" "Know I know him." How do I know" "You?" "Uh, maybe she's seen you on" "The news, Tom." "Mmm!" "You're a reporter." "No, no." "I'm a..." "I'm a" "Firefighter." "Oh, like a real new York city" "Firefighter?" "That's amazing, the" "Job that you do." "Yes, uh." "Tommy Gavin." "Nice to" "Meet you." "How are ya?" "Can I buy you a drink, Tommy" "Gavin, firefighter, sir?" "Um, no, but I'll do you one" "Better." "I'll buy you a drink." "OK." "All right, after you." "All right, if I'm not back in an" "Hour, forget about me." "It's a total no-Brainer." "I" "Know a couple of other guys from" "Our class." "As soon as we become" "Regular firefighters, we're all" "Transferring to other houses." "Yeah, hank, I don't know." "You" "Know, the guys in my crew," "They're like my family." "Yeah, but, you don't live" "With your family now, do you?" "Look, in a couple of months," "You're not gonna be a probie" "Anymore, but I guarantee you, if" "You stay in your house, no" "Matter what you do, no matter" "How long you're there, you're" "Always gonna be the probie." "You" "Gotta get out, Mike." "Hey, where the hell did you" "Take off to?" "Oh, Paris." "The best place to" "Take a piss this time of night." "Tommy found something?" "No, somethin' found him, and" "It looks like you have a secret" "Admirer." "You ever seen Garrity's mom?" "Nope." "Good luck and godspeed." "Wow." "Thank God I took the" "Time to paddle my balls before I" "Left the house." "How do I look?" "Pretty drunk." "Well, a little more might" "Help." "Ah!" "Oof." "I'm good." "Hi there." "I just, um, thought" "I'd, uh, come over and introduce" "Myself, you know." "Let you know" "That it's OK, you know, that I" "Kind of get checked out by women" "All the time. 'Cause as you may" "Know or, you know, may suspect," "I'm, uh, with the FDNY, you" "Know?" "America's heroes, blah" "Blah blah blah blah." "I'm, uh..." "I'm lieutenant ken shea, at your" "Service." "And you are?" "Kenny, just go" "Get the guy in the black shirt" "For me, all right?" "She wants you." "Me?" "Well, I'm young enough to" "Be her... well, hell, there's" "Nothin' else goin' on." "Garrity," "This doesn't work out, your" "Mother's tits are on deck." "That's not funny." "Oh, it's funny." "Uh, no, it's not." "You know, I always thought" "The national cheerleading finals" "Would be like the most exciting" "Night of my life, but here I am" "Talking with a real live" "Firefighter, and suddenly, I" "Can't even remember a single" "Cheer." "How old are you?" "You're" "Like 45, right?" "I'm guessing 44" "Or 45." "I'm really good at" "Guessing people's ages." "I don't" "Know why, but I can just look at" "Them, and I'll be right within" "Like 2 years." "You are, like, 46." "48 tops." "Tell me." "Wait, wait," "Wait, no, no, wait, wait." "You're 46!" "I knew it!" "Oh, I was right!" "Ha!" "Oh, my God, you're like the" "Same age as my dad." "Why does" "That turn me on?" "You know, my buddy just told" "Me you wanted me to come over" "And say hello, so that's what" "I'm doin'." "Hi." "Hi." "Yeah." "Nice meetin' you." "So you're intimidated." "What?" "No." "The thought of being with an" "Older woman who knows exactly" "What she wants and what she" "Gets, and she knows exactly how" "To keep it." "I mean, that kind of" "Scares you a little bit, huh?" "You know, I've really gotta" "Get back to my buddies." "Aren't you tired of girls?" "I" "Mean, a guy like you, the way" "You look, I'm sure they're" "Swarming all over you like bees" "To a blossom, huh?" "Yeah." "But you're not really" "Happy, are you?" "I mean, in bed." "Of course, maybe, but" "Afterwards, when you go to talk" "To them or you see them with" "Unclouded eyes, then you realize" "They're just made of paper, and" "The only sound they really make" "Is just the crinkle when you" "Ball them up and you toss them" "Aside." "Don't you think you" "Deserve a woman who's made of" "More than paper?" "Uh..." "I have business in milan." "I'm" "Leaving on Monday, which gives" "Us an entire weekend full of" "Possibilities, doesn't it?" "Oh, yeah." "Be safe." "Think she still uses a rotary" "Phone?" "Joking." "All right, so I gotta get goin'." "That's one extremely hot" "Piece of ass you caught there," "My friend." "I expect a full" "Report." "You got it." "So, I'll, uh... see ya." "Uh, what's wrong, Tom?" "She talks a lot." "Oh." "I mean, like a real lot." "I" "Mean, in the course of the last" "Half-Hour, she's said more than" "Most people say in a week." "I" "Actually thought I saw sparks" "Comin' off her tongue at one" "Point." "Well, you know, she's" "Probably just nervous." "You know," "Meetin' a firefighter and all." "Right." "Yeah." "It'll be fine, man." "All right." "See ya." "I like a man who drives a" "Truck." "I know people say that a" "Man's vehicle's connected to the" "Way they feel about the size of" "Their penis, but I totally don't" "Buy that one." "But, I mean, I've" "Been with guys who are really" "Well hung, and they drove these" "Little sports cars, and I was" "With this guy who drove a hummer" "And his penis was like a roll of" "Dimes." "Maybe there is something" "To it." "I don't know." "It's just" "Silliness anyway." "I'm sure" "You'll totally prove the theory" "Wrong, no pressure at all." "My" "Father's like, "if you want to" "Be an actress in new York," "That's all well and good, but" "There is no way that my daughter" "Is gonna live in some shithole" "And starve to death." So he" "Found me this apartment, which" "Was really nice, but I was like," ""Daddy, there's no way you're" "Gonna pay for the whole thing" "Because I need to be an" "Independent person and" "Responsible for myself."" "So I pay 300 a month, and he" "Pays the other 2,200." "Did you happen to see my floors" "When we walked in?" "I just got" "Them redone and there's paint on" "Them, and I told them not to." "I" "Told them it was my new floors," "To put down some, like, paper or" "Tape or something, and then it's" "There, and I must've told them," "Like a million times." "What do I" "Do?" "I mean, I called them and" "They wouldn't... ohh... oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "You... this is so good." "You are" "Really good at this." "Uh... you know, most guys, they get" "Down there, and it's like they" "Need a map printed out." "It's" "Like they need it tattooed on" "Your inner thigh or something." "It's like, come on." "They need," "Like an arrow that says put" "Tongue here." "Why did you stop?" "What's wrong?" "Oh, you're" "Thirsty." "Oh, there's vodka in the freezer" "Or beer in the fridge, unless" "You want water and then I have" "One of those filter thingies on" "The tap, which I don't know why" "Because all the reports say that" "New York has the freshest," "Cleanest drinking water ever." "Ooh, you naughty boy." "Tape!" "All right, girls, day out" "With dad." "You can buy whatever" "You want." "Food, clothes, cds." "Why?" "What do you mean, why?" "'Cause" "I want to do something nice for" "My girls." "Why?" "I want to buy grandpa a" "Birthday present." "See?" "There you go." "Your" "Sister's in the spirit." "Why" "Can't you come along for the" "Ride?" "Well, I don't know." "I know" "You, maybe." "You're either trying" "To mess with mom, or you've been" "Drinking." "I'm not trying to mess with" "Mom." "Unbelievable." "You can't be" "Nice to people without... here." "There's 300 bucks." "Wow." "Yeah." "Go buy whatever you" "Want." "Meet us back here in half" "An hour, OK?" "Half an hour?" "I'll only be" "Able to try on, like, one thing." "All right, an hour." "An hour." "All right?" "OK." "Don't be late." "OK." "Thanks." "Jeez." "Unbelievable." "All" "Right, kiddo." "What do you want?" "Ice cream." "Honey, it's like... it's like 14 degrees out." "It's 14 degrees out here, but" "In my stomach, it's the 4th of" "July." "OK." "Ice cream." "Come in." "You have company." "No, leave that." "You come with" "Me." "Say hello." "Come on." "Look" "Who's here." "Hi, babe." "Bud, what a nice surprise." "Give me a kiss." "Ohh... least I'm still bud." "Olivia, this is my brother" "Bud from arizona." "He lived out there 20 years ago." "He's back in the" "Area now." "How far do you have to" "Come to see me?" "It's too far." "Look, uh, there's something I" "Want to talk to you about." "Give" "Us a minute, huh?" "Sure." "Jeannie, make sure you" "Show him your art." "Oh, bud, look at what I made." "Aren't they glorious?" "I made" "These." "Wow." "I learned how in one of my" "Classes." "This is the best school" "In the world." "The teachers, the" "Students, everyone is so nice," "And they seem to like me." "They love you." "Everybody" "Loves you." "Look, jeannie, as" "Nice as this place is, I was" "Thinking it's a little bit far" "Away from home, and, well, I" "Have some brochures here." "There" "Are places just as nice as this," "And look, it has a lake, they" "Have a pool, they have aqua" "Aerobics." "So many activities and" "You'd really..." "I would die." "If you made me" "Leave here, I would die." "I love" "Everyone here, and they love me." "You just said so yourself." "Yeah, but... don't make me go." "Please," "Bud, you..." "OK." "OK." "Please don't." "OK." "All right." "We'll work it" "Out." "Hmm?" "OK." "We'll work it out." "Shit." "All right, kiddo, now what?" "I'm still hungry." "You know what?" "Is your mother" "Not feeding you?" "Is that what's" "Going on?" "She says I'm having a growth" "Spurt." "I guess so." "There's a place on the next" "Block." "They have fries with" "Chili and cheese on them." "Honey... uncle teddy took me once." "I" "Want some." "All right." "That's gonna sit" "Real well after a triple scoop" "Of rocky road." "Oh, God, babe." "That was" "Incredible." "What do you got, a" "Drink?" "You know what they say," "Nothing like a little" "Cocktail after a little cock." "Not that your cock is little." "Oh, that's very funny. 'Cause" "I was gonna start crying, you" "Know." "Seriously, what is that?" "It's a Manhattan." "I'm going" "Through a retro phase with my" "Booze." "Yeah." "My mother used to drink" "Those." "She used to let me, uh," "Have the cherry." "Ooh, can I have" "Your cherry?" "You know, you really look" "Like a retard when you make that" "Face." "What?" "Sorry." "If you knew me, you'd know I" "Never put fruit in drinks." "Cherries are for pies, slot" "Machines, and virgins." "You see" "Any of those around here?" "No, I sure don't." "Come here." "Hey, you make me spill, and" "I'll slit your goddamn throat." "All right." "Hey, uh, you know" "What?" "Tonight at, uh, at the" "Party... yes." "We gotta be really careful," "You know, I mean, like we" "Shouldn't touch each other or" "Barely look at each other, you" "Know?" "Yeah." "If Tommy finds out," "He'll shit melons." "Yeah." "I mean, but if he did" "Find out, it wouldn't be that" "Bad, right?" "It's like he knows" "Me, and we're, you know, I mean," "It's not like I'm a stranger." "No, Sean, it makes it worse." "Once I dated this guy, he was a" "Friend of Tommy's from high" "School, only the guy didn't tell" "Tommy he was seeing me." "Tommy" "Killed him." "He did not." "They found the guy strung up" "In his parents' garage." "So that's a... that's a" "Suicide, right?" "Well, that's what Tommy" "Wanted it to look like." "Ohh... yeah." "Maybe we should" "Be careful" "Yeah." "No shit." "Yeah." "Hey, you want to do" "That thing that we did before?" "You mean where I smoke and we" "Make out?" "Yeah, man, I really need it." "Give it to me." "All right," "There, buddy." "So how'd you manage this," "Ken?" "I was breaking into my" "Ex-Wife's to steal a watch that" "Belonged to my father so I could" "Pawn it to get money." "How'd you really do it?" "Broke a glass in the sink." "You know, I really shouldn't" "Be doing this." "Why not?" "You're a doctor." "I'm a veterinarian." "Well, you used to be a real" "Doctor." "Watch that." "How would you" "Like to be sewn up crooked?" "Sorry." "So how you doin'?" "I was sittin' out in my car," "You know, just bleeding, and I" "Thought, why not just let nature" "Take its course?" "It's supposed" "To be a peaceful death, isn't" "It?" "Now here I am gettin' fixed" "Up by you." "For what?" "I mean, I" "Lost every cent I ever had." "I" "Got nobody in my life." "I'm out" "Drinkin' every night 'cause I" "Don't want to go home to the" "Goddamn rat hole that I live in," "So... so why didn't I just stay in" "The car?" "God, ken, you've got to come" "Over more often." "You're a hoot." "Oh, God, honey." "Yeah, we're" "Still on the pizza." "When will it be over?" "Well, about five minutes" "After we get to the ice cream," "Honey." "Hold your head." "Yeah," "There you go." "Perfect." "All" "Right." "What's that?" "Miniskirt I bought." "I hope you paid half price." "Why?" "'Cause you only got half a" "Goddamn skirt." "It's goin' back." "No way." "It's going back." "Why?" "I'll tell you why." "Because" "Easy access." "That's why." "Every" "Boy at school's gonna be" "Droppin' his pens and his" "Pencils every time he sees you" "Walkin' down the hallway." "It's" "Goin' back." "That's good, sweetheart." "We're all the way to the chili" "Cheese fries now." "Good job." "Dad, I'm not interested in" "Boys." "Yeah, OK, I know that, but" "Lesbians pull the same tricks," "OK?" "It's goin' back." "Ever since I turned my life" "Over to the lord Jesus Christ," "My entire outlook on, like... did you just... what?" "What did" "You say?" "I'm a born-Again christian." "Bullshit." "I am." "Not in my house." "It's the hot new thing at" "School, OK?" "All my friends are" "Born-Again." "Yeah." "Look, I thought the hot" "New thing in school was blow" "Jobs." "Blow-Jobs are so last year," "Dad." "Shh!" "Catch up." "What's blow-Jobs?" "Uh, nothing, honey." "It's a" "Haircut thing." "Don't... don't" "Worry about it." "Oh." "No ice cream, God damn" "It." "So what's the deal with" "These born-Again people?" "Well, it means that I accept" "Jesus Christ as my..." "I know that part." "I'm talkin'" "About, you know, when it comes" "To... sex." "What?" "When it comes to, you know," "Sex." "Oh, um, no sex until" "Marriage." "Really?" "Mm-Hmm." "Cool." "I'm in." "But, wait, don't you want to" "Know about... no, no, I'm good." "I'm good." "And one other thing." "Um, who's" "Your mom dating'?" "I can't tell you." "Pretty sure there's a thing" "In the bible where Jesus says" "That you should honor your" "Father and your mother, right?" "I think Jesus wants you to tell" "Me who your mom's seein'." "Yeah, but if I tell you, I'll" "Be dishonoring her, so I really" "Can't." "Uh-Huh." "What about all the" "Stuff I gave you the money to" "Buy today?" "Dad, when you want" "Information, you ask first, then" "You offer the bribe." "OK, that's" "How it works." "You did it the" "Wrong way around this time." "Duh, yeah, I know." "I was" "Tryin' to be nice." "Oh, and by the way, you're" "Gonna have to give me another" "Hundred to keep me from telling" "Mom about you getting katy sick." "Dream on." "I'm not givin' you" "Another dime." "Them I'm calling her right" "Now." "Go ahead." "See if I care." ", all right!" "Call yourself a" "Christian." "Unbelievable." "Yay." "Ice cream." "He used to bring us here" "When we were kids." "Nothing has" "Changed." "I think it's the same" "Wait staff, you know, same" "Chairs." "See that brown stain?" "I" "Think that's where I dropped" "Some ribs when I was, like, 9." "Yeah, it's hideous." "Yeah." "I tried to talk him into" "Someplace nice, but you know" "Your father." "Chinks, chinks," "Chinks." "Ooh, not you, the food." "Oh, look at Damian." "He hates me." "He so did not want to come here" "Today." "Why?" "Well, because he wanted to" "Invite his teacher, that Ms." "Turbody, and I said no." "What?" "!" "I know, that's weird, right?" "That's insane." "Retarded." "I mean, I'm glad he likes" "Her, but he's like really into" "Her." "Should I be worried about" "It?" "Yeah, you should say" "Something." "That's... that's crazy." "Oh, I gotta go check on the" "Cake." "You know, they wouldn't" "Let us bring our own in." "They" "Had to make it." "Yeah?" "It's probably gonna be a" "Gigantic fortune cookie with a" "Bunch of sweet and sour gook" "Stuffed in it." "Oh, not you... the cake." "Yeah." "Ahem." "They're" "Gonna poison us all." "Oh, yeah." "Oh, goody." "Princess Janet is" "Here." "Party can officially" "Start." "Hey." "How you doin'?" "Pretty good." "Janet looks" "Great." "How you two doin'?" "Oh, fantastic." "She's, uh, at" "Least not goin' the lawyer" "Route, so I'll save some money" "That way, but she doesn't even" "Talk to me anymore, so, I mean," "I have to go through Johnny to" "Arrange the kids and everything," "You know?" "Yeah." "Maggie looks good, though," "Huh?" "Oh, yeah." "Real good." "She" "Looks nice." "Yeah." "What's with the probie?" "The proble?" "Oh, yeah." "Me and" "Mike, basically, I'm doin' a" "Little bit of matchmaking'." "We" "Were at the club last night" "Talkin' to these 2 dancer" "Chicks." "I sealed the deal with" "My girl, but probie was like" "Totally not into it." "And this" "Girl basically had a sign on her" "Forehead that said, "nail me,"" "So, anyway, I promised my chick" "That I'd hook 'em up tonight," "Which I did." "And how was your chick?" "She's OK." "Kind of girl I call" "A firecracker." "You know, she's" "Got like one good bang in her." "That's about it." "What happened to your hand?" "You cut yourself shaving?" "That's" "A good one." "I broke a glass in the sink." "Now, listen, 3 of us guys have" "Got to stick together, right?" "The 3 losers who couldn't get a" "Date." "Right." "You're seein' somebody," "Right?" "No." "Uh-Uh." "You are, right?" "Yeah, yeah." "I mean, nobody... nobody here, but I am..." "I'm" "Seeing someone, who's, uh... she's someplace else tonight." "I" "Gotta pee." "I think he's dating somebody" "Here." "You?" "I just said I wasn't datin'" "Anybody here or anyplace else." "Jesus Christ." "Oh... this is gonna be a lot" "More fun than I thought." "Hey." "Hey." "Club soda?" "Club soda." "I feel my liver" "Twitchin'." "Yeah, well, this is where it" "Happens." "You know, most people" "Who screw up in the program," "This is the kind of thing that" "Does it." "You can go through all" "This trauma, pain, lose a kid," "Stay straight as a goddamn" "Arrow." "A little innocent family" "Get-Together, you know, a little" "Birthday party, wham." "Simple." "It's, you know, perfect" "Combination of accessible booze," "A little repressed hostility." "How do you handle it?" "I smoke a Ton of weed." "Asshole." "The birthday boy wants" "Everyone to know, dinner is" "Served!" "Oh, dinner is served." "The" "Birthday boy... hey, honey, you ate hardly" "Anything at all." "Why don't you" "Try some of this spicy orange" "Chicken?" "What'd I do?" "It's OK, grandpa." "Did I tell" "You how much Jesus loves you?" "Yeah, a couple of times." "Tell" "Jesus to lay off, will ya?" "You" "Know, I'm glad he loves me, but" "That's how rumors get started." "Here comes the cake!" "* happy birth... *" "Shut your hole!" "Now, I'm" "Warnin' all of you right now," "Anyone who comes up with that" "Happy birthday bullshit, I'm" "Dropping my pants, takin' a leak" "On this cake, and walkin' the" "Hell out of here." "All right, everybody, on 3... give us some wisdom, dad." "Come on." "All right, seriously." "I never" "Expected to live this long." "Thought maybe the nazis would" "Get me, or the gooks." "Oh, not you." "The Japanese." "And we know how that turned" "Out. 16 kills... no maybes." "And here I am." "You get older," "You get wiser." "And if you're not" "A complete moron, you start to" "See things the way they really" "Are." "And I'm seein' the way" "Things are goin', this is" "Probably the last birthday cake" "I'll have my name on." "Hell, I wanted this to be funny." "Let's have cake." "Hear, hear." "Daddy?" "My stomach hurts." "Tommy!" "Tommy!" "Break it" "Up!" "Break it up!" "Hey, knock it off!" "Cut it out!" "Come on, Tommy!" "Tom!" "Tommy!" "Son of a bitch, Tommy," "Cut it out!" "On my birthday." "Stop it now!" "Come on now, that's enough!" "That's enough!" "God damn it!" "Get off me!" "Take it easy." "Tommy!" "Tom, Tommy!" "Tommy!" "Hey, hey, Tommy!" "Hey, Tom!" "Hey, Tommy." "Get him." "Come on." "Calm down." "Come on, Tommy!" "Let him go, let him go." "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Come on, Tommy," "Enough, huh?" "[Dead to rights by the twilight" "Singers playing]" "* there is a rupture" "So I can never see you anymore," "Nightmare's believable," "Walkin' in to see" "If you've been here," "Not sayin' it's easy, no, no," "To feel it all or not at all," "Somebody said," "Lay down your gun," "And when you lay it down," "You're ready to run," "Situation dire," "It's gone away," "It's not goin' away... *" "* if she's your master," "Then get down on your knees" "And beg for more," "I'm not sayin' it's easy" "To live your life" "Like a little whore," "'Cause when you play with fire," "Take your faith," "It's not goin' away," "Situation dire... *"