"GRACE:" "Previously on The Secret Life the American Teenager..." "What the hell is she doing here?" "Forget about that guy!" "I can't!" "I should have told Amy we were going to church." "It's the first time she's seen us together and I think I might have upset her." "Our family doesn't exist anymore." "(SIGHS) Amy..." "It's very important to me that whoever you're with fits into this family." "Does he still have the extra key to the apartment?" "Yeah." "You keep blanking out on that video!" "STONE:" "You go see Grace and apologize to her and tell her how you feel and ask her to see you again and back the hell off from pressuring her to have sex." "Omar?" "Mom." "Mom?" "I could pretend to be dating Henry." "He could drop me off and pick me up and in between, I could be with you." "Huh." "That's brilliant." "I'm all yours if you'll have me." "Thank you, God." "That was the guy from the school board." "I know." "Tell me, tell me." "Well, Ben's off the hook and there'll be nothing on his record or Omar's." "They said they understood that Ben has been under tremendous stress in the last year and it was good he already apologized to Omar, so the whole thing is dismissed." "They're going to have the counselor let him know this morning." "That's great!" "Yay!" "You're on a roll!" "Well, all's well that ends well, right?" "I guess." "Long as he stays away from that girl, maybe he'll stay out of trouble." "And hey, if Camille calls, let me be the one that tells her, okay?" "I would never tell her anything that's personal to you, ever." "No, I guess not, I just wanted to be sure that I'm the one that tells her." "Okay." "Okay, then." "And why is that?" "Why is what?" "Why do you want to make sure you tell her yourself." "What's up with that?" "I just want to make sure she's told in the right way." "About Ben." "Yeah." "Oh." "I get it." "Mmm-hmm." "In a way that makes it sound like it was not easy." "In a way that makes it look like children are a whole lot of trouble and you just narrowly escaped disaster once again," "in a way that doesn't encourage her to want more children, and especially in a way that doesn't encourage her to want to marry you and be a part of the wacky family?" "I'm nine months from having him graduate high school." "Freedom is just around the corner." "(CHUCKLES) Yep." "So, that's it?" "Nothing goes on my permanent record about causing anyone any trouble?" "No." "And my record?" "You might want to ask for this to be made part of your record." "The school board was really pleased with the way you handled the matter, especially considering you're a student teacher and this was your first day of school." "They thought you followed the rules and," ""Conducted himself in a professional manner at a time" ""when it would have been easier to avoid filing a report."" "Nice." "But I think I'd like to keep it confidential and off-record anyway." "Done." "Read something they said about me." "Did they say anything about me like that?" "About how quickly I apologized, admitted I was in the wrong?" "Um, uh, I don't think so." "Let me see, um..." ""Understandable, considering the stress Ben has been under during the past year and..."" "So forth." "What's the so forth?" "You want to just leave this alone?" "I mean, we both caught a break here." "No, I do not just want to leave this alone, if you don't mind." "I would like to know about the "and so forth."" "Oh, they just understood that there might be some jealousy since you both had a relationship with Adrian." "Both had a relationship?" "I was married to her." "He wasn't married to her." "He's not married to her." "I might get married to her." "I asked her to marry me." "What?" "Months ago." "Look, I'm in love with Adrian." "All right?" "She doesn't want to think about getting married right now, but I want to marry her." "She met my mother last Sunday, after church." "What?" "All right, then, we should disperse." "Get going." "(CLEARING THROAT)" "I can't believe this." "Amy is married and" "Adrian is semi-engaged or something and I'm not even allowed to date." "This is ridiculous." "Ridiculous times call for ridiculous measures." "Like?" "Like staying home and studying and focusing on getting into college." "Getting an education prepares you for life." "Getting an education helps you think." "Thinking is a skill in itself." "Look, say what you want about school, but life is all about does the boy get the girl?" "Does the girl get the boy?" "Or does the boy get the boy?" "Or does the girl get the girl?" "Or any of that, all of that!" "I understand what you're saying, but let me put it another way." "Every relationship is a school." "Every person you meet is a teacher." "If you don't like learning things in school, you're probably going to have a few problems learning from people." "Now, that's ridiculous." "♪ Falling in love is such an easy thing to do" "♪ Birds can do it We can do it" "♪ Let's stop talking Let's get to it" "♪ Let's fall in love" "It's important to have friends, girlfriends." "Not just a boyfriend and not just guy friends, but girlfriends." "I don't like girls." "They're catty and mean and, well, I like guys." "Okay, well, you probably don't like girls because you've had bad experiences with girls." "No, I've had a bad experience with a guy and I still like guys." "I just don't like girls on a general principle." "Look, I don't know what I would have done without my friends when I was pregnant." "You need to meet some girls, some girls your age." "Uh, it's kind of hard to make friends with girls my age when I'm pregnant." "Well, you made a friend and you're pregnant." "My point exactly." "Ethan wants to be my friend, even maybe my boyfriend." "You think there are any girls here who want to be my friend?" "No." "And I don't care." "You suck." "You suck." "Kathy, that is not how you make friends." "She was staring at me." "We were staring at her." "Thought she was going to say hello, at least, I was hoping she was going to say hello." "Well she didn't." "Because you told her that she sucks." "Here." "Let me help you out." "Hey, uh, excuse me." "You mind if I ask you a question?" "Get your hands off me and no, you can't ask me something, weirdo." "See?" "Hi, excuse me." "I'm Amy Juergens." "I thought you got married to Ricky Underwood." "Yeah, I did." "Then how come your name isn't Amy Underwood?" "Well, actually, the name Underwood, either." "It's totally lame." "Yeah, it's gross." "Amy Underpants." "Who needs that?" "Not you." "Not after being a teen mom and everything." "Not that Yurgens is any better." "Uh, it's "Juergens."" "Yeah, but it's really Yurgens." "Amy Yurgens?" "(IN GERMAN ACCENT) Yeah, Yurgens didn't wear underpants and that is how she got pregnant." "(CHUCKLING)" "Hey, maybe I could be friends with you two." "Yeah." "You know, I've been dying to ask you how you got pregnant." "You know what sex is, right?" "Hey, so it looks like your little mentoree made some friends." "Now we don't have to hang out with her." "Well, that's not very nice." "I thought you said you were sick of hanging out with her." "No." "Not sick, really." "Just..." "I really think that she should make some friends of her own, some girlfriends, instead of just hanging out with Ethan, her new boyfriend." "I don't think she should even have a boyfriend, especially Ethan." "You sound like an old married lady." "And I remind you, you pretty much hung out with Ben the entire time you were pregnant and forgot about Madison and me." "I remember that a little bit differently." "Your parents didn't want you hanging out with me when I was pregnant." "Right." "But they came around eventually." "Of course, I don't think you're their favorite friend." "Madison is." "Madison slept with your boyfriend." "But she didn't get pregnant." "And my parents like her parents." "My parents like your parents, too." "I don't think they'd go away on vacation with your parents or anything, but... (SIGHS)" "This sounds negative when all I wanted to do was say" "I'm happy for you that Kathy made some friends." "Now, I have to go meet Madison." "Why can't I go meet Madison?" "Uh... 'Cause we're looking for guys?" "(SIGHS)" "Hi." "Hey, Grace." "Hi." "Um, I don't guess that you'd maybe want to do something tonight, would you?" "Tonight?" "Yeah." "My mom wants us to try to be friends." "Oh, yeah, I think my dad wants the same thing. (CHUCKLES)" "Um, but, I mean, you've never not been my friend and I've never not been your friend." "We haven't been close, but we haven't not been close." "Right, yeah." "And I owe it all to you that I have a job at the church nursery." "I'll always be grateful to you for that." "Thank you." "Although, being grateful is not quite the same as being a friend." "Since I'm going to church again, it's the same church that sponsors the nursery where you work, it's just..." "It's really difficult to make friends because people are totally prejudiced against Christians, so I just thought maybe we could be friends." "But we're already friends." "Great, let's hang out, let's do something tonight." "Grace, I have a baby." "I have John." "And by the time the church nursery closes and I get him home and I bathe him and feed him and put him to bed and do my homework, it's, like, 11:00 and I have a husband, so..." "I don't really have time to hang out with you or with any of my other friends." "What if I came over and I help you with John and we did our homework together?" "And that would free you up for more friend time." "Well, it's just that Ricky is in the apartment trying to study at the same time." "Then I'll bring Jack, too." "I mean, maybe the four of us can be friends." "Thanks, Amy." "That's a great idea." "(DIALING)" "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Hey, what's up?" "Everything okay?" "Grace wants to come over with Jack tonight." "For what?" "Just to hang out, be friends." "What?" "My dad and Grace's mom want Grace and me to be friends." "What does that have to do with Jack and me?" "Well, Jack is Grace's boyfriend and you're my husband, so..." "So what?" "So, got roped into doing this tonight and I'd like you to go along with it." "Hey, Ricky!" "Are you coming in for a coffee?" "Yeah, I'll be right there." "Okay." "Is that your friend?" "Your friend Clementine?" "Yeah, you know, as long as people are coming over, maybe she could come over too." "To the apartment with Grace and Jack?" "Wouldn't she be, like, the third wheel?" "Wouldn't she be a fifth wheel?" "Fine, I don't care." "Might as well get that out of the way." "What out of the way?" "Making friends with your friends so that hopefully she'll leave you alone." "She's an old friend from a long time ago." "I never slept with her and I'd never sleep with her and if I tried to sleep with anyone other than you, she'd probably kick my ass." "What does that mean?" "That means I said the wrong thing." "I just want her to meet you." "And John." "Fine." "Bring her over." "Sorry, sorry, sorry." "I wasn't thinking." "Were you on the phone with your wife?" "Yeah, that was Amy." "She wants you to come over tonight." "She wants to meet you." "Why?" "You're my friend." "She thought maybe you could be her friend." "Really?" "Okay, I thought maybe you could be her friend." "My friend and her friend." "I don't know." "Why not?" "Amy is a really nice girl and so are you." "I told her all about you." "If you told her all about me," "I doubt she'd want to meet me." "No, she does, she does, promise." "All right." "What time?" "She's usually home by seven." "Are you sure about this?" "I don't feel like I can hang out in the coffee shop unless Amy's comfortable with our being friends." "She's my wife." "All right." "But if it gets boring, I'm leaving." "It's not going to be boring." "I have someone I want you to meet." "Oh?" "Why didn't you say so?" "See you at seven." "You want another cup of coffee?" "I'll get the waitress." "Oh, I don't know." "I kind of like those scones." "I got it!" "So, you're not dating anyone?" "Kind of." "But you know what they say about relationships." ""Sooner or later, they're all over."" "Even your relationship with Ricky." "And yours." "Hey, Clementine," "Adrian needs another cup of coffee, do you mind?" "No, I don't mind." "No, really, I'm fine." "Fine?" "You must be exhausted." "Multitasking, multi-flirting." "No, I'm used to it." "I think jealousy uses much more energy, negative energy." "Are you feeling okay?" "Oh yeah, I'm good." "I'm going over to Ricky's tonight." "Okay, everyone out!" "(SIGHS) Thanks, Adrian, see you around." "See you later." "Text me." "So, let me guess." "You're going over to Ricky's to meet Amy?" "Yeah, she says she wants to meet me." "She wants to be friends." "You know her, right?" "Yeah, I know her." "And I kind of doubt she wants to be friends with you." "She's not going to like you." "She's probably setting you up." "It is a setup." "They're introducing me to someone." "Who?" "I don't know, but, uh, should be fun." "Could I have some more coffee?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I just ran out." "I'll have to make you some new coffee." "Hi." "Hi yourself." "I was just thinking about you." "That's nice." "I like the sound of that." "It's the craziest thing." "All my life, the only thoughts I had were about one person." "Me." "I think it was mostly a survival instinct." "Anyway, suddenly I'm walking along, alone, and then, bam!" "I think of you." "(CHUCKLES)" "And the next thing I know, I've got this dumb grin on my face, like I'm high or loaded or something." "Only I'm not high or loaded." "I'm just thinking of you." "Is that the grin?" "Yeah." "I think that's it." "It's not so dumb." "You want to kiss me, don't you?" "Yeah." "I do." "But not here at school." "We can't keep hiding out in people's cars." "Would your grandmother let us make out in the living room?" "I think she would, but I wouldn't be comfortable with that." "Would your mother, your foster mother, let us make out in her living room?" "Not a chance." "Is this him?" "Yeah." "What do you think?" "It's not bad, kind of the dark and brooding type." "Like James Franco, just not as tall or good-looking." "He looks either really smart or really dumb." "I can't tell." "Uh..." "Who is this?" "We're her friends." "Do you have a problem with that?" "Yeah, I have a problem with that." "And I have a problem with you looking at me like that." "Who are you to look at me like that?" "I don't like him." "Let's go." "Me neither." "Who are you to look at me like that." "Come on, Kathy." "Bye." "Wait." "I can't." "Friends are really hard to get, especially when you're pregnant." "I'll talk to you later." "Isn't it harder to get a boyfriend when you're pregnant?" "(ALL GIGGLING)" "Ben just wants to see his girl." "Ben needs some happiness in his life." "He deserves it." "I don't feel like letting him pretend to date me, okay?" "I don't like that." "That would be using me to do something that I don't even think he should do." "And Ben's my friend." "He shouldn't ask me to do something I don't want to do." "I've got the harder part." "I have to go over and convince Dylan's parents to let her go out with me." "But I think I'm up to the challenge." "It could be fun." "Or not." "And you don't have the harder part." "I have the harder part." "He wants me to meet him at his house and lie to Mr. Boykewich." "If we all get caught, what's Mr. Boykewich going to think of us after all he's done for us?" "He's going to think we're Ben's friends." "But we don't want Ben with Dylan." "We don't like Dylan." "She's okay." "No, she's not." "She got him in trouble." "First it was the pot, then it was the fire, what's next?" "Is she going to have him murder someone?" "No." "I'm not going to do it." "I don't like her." "And I don't like him dating her." "And for once, he should do what his father tells him and we should encourage him to do what his father tells him." "That's what a real friend would do." "That's not what a real friend would do." "A real friend would do anything a friend needs him or her to do." "I'm happy you said that." "Anything?" "Yeah." "What if Ben asked you to have sex with him." "Well, that's ridiculous." "Ben would never ask me to have sex with him." "Ben didn't..." "Ben didn't ask you to have sex with him, did he?" "Did he?" "Did you?" "When!" "I want to know when!" "Years ago?" "Months ago?" "Weeks ago?" "It was the night of the fire." "But it was friend sex." "I swear." "He was just so desperate." "He needed someone." "He needed comforting." "So you slept with him?" "Just so we're perfectly clear, you and Ben had sex?" "And he's been trying to make me feel bad about sleeping with Adrian!" "And you didn't tell me?" "You just let me feel bad about it?" "You let me agonize over that one stupid mistake when the two of you did something just as bad!" "Or even worse!" "What did I ever do to you that you did this to me?" "Were you ever going to tell me?" "I mean, if you did this just to get back at me for breaking up with me I think you'd want me to know." "Geez, Alice." "That's really low." "Henry!" "Pick me up at seven, okay?" "Seven." "I got it." "I'll be there." "What?" "You're gonna go through with this?" "Oh, yeah." "Game on." "Hi." "Hi." "You look really nice." "Oh, thanks." "Where do you wanna go on our first date back?" "I got to be in early." "I got curfew, you know." "Well, we were invited over to Amy and Ricky's." "What?" "Yeah, won't that be fun?" "I've never actually been over there before." "Yeah, me neither." "And that's because we're not really friends with Ricky and Amy." "Yes, we are." "We've known them for years." "That's where you want to go?" "I was going to take us out for dinner or something." "That's okay, I think they're just going to order a pizza or something." "They can't really go out because of John." "Great." "It'll be fun." "I don't think it will." "They're married." "They have a baby." "Well, don't you want to get married and have a baby someday?" "Someday." "Not today." "Not tonight." "Tonight I just want to spend some time with you." "We don't need to spend so much time alone." "It only makes us want to have sex." "I'm always going to want to have sex with you, so I'm just going to have to wait until you tell me you want to have sex with me." "All right, let's go." "I just want to be with you." "I know, I just..." "I think it's healthier to spend time with friends." "How is that healthier?" "Because if you start acting stupid or something or you're not nice to me," "Amy will point it out if I don't notice." "Girls need girlfriends for that." "I'm not going to be not nice to you." "Why would I be not nice to you?" "I'm in love with you." "It was just an example." "I want a friend." "I want us to have friends." "I liked it better when you were friends with Adrian." "That is over." "Let's go." "All right." "Not "all right."" "I want you to be enthusiastic about whatever I want to do." "Even when it's something stupid like going to a married couple's apartment and babysitting as our first date back together?" "That doesn't sound very enthusiastic." "I can't wait!" "(GASPS) There we go." "(SIGHS)" "Oh, Leo, I'm sorry I'm late." "Crazy day at work." "Relax, glad you could make it, good to see you." "How was your day?" "Oh, it was good." "Yeah?" "Any word from the school board?" "Oh, I heard from them, all right." "They let him off the hook, but it wasn't easy, let me tell you." "That's great news!" "I guess." "You guess?" "Leo, come on." "Ben didn't burn down the school and he didn't get kicked out of school or get anyone else kicked out." "That's the best possible outcome." "It's over!" "Congratulations!" "Oh, it's far from over." "He has to get through the rest of the school year without getting in trouble." "He won't get in anymore trouble." "He's not a bad kid." "Dylan's still circling around." "Oh, another girl will come along and he'll forget all about her." "(KNOCKING) No, I won't." "Ben!" "I heard the good news." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Congratulations!" "We should all go out and celebrate." "He can't go out." "He's on restriction." "Oh, Leo." "Wait." "I'm on restriction from seeing Dylan, but I can still go out." "I'm going out with Alice, uh, we're going to go catch a movie or something." "Oh, are you?" "Yeah, she's coming over." "I will just be in the kitchen." "That's okay, isn't it?" "Going out with Alice?" "Where's Henry?" "Uh, I don't know." "Alice probably called him." "We'll probably meet up." "Probably?" "It's not a big deal." "Are you leaving out Henry for some reason?" "No." "You and Alice dating?" "Got plans to sleep with her again?" "Dad!" "No." "We are not dating, exactly." "And I do not have plans to sleep with her." "But if that were going to happen, you wouldn't have Henry around." "Oh, I'll call Henry." "Henry doesn't know you slept with Alice?" "No." "He does not." "And I'd like to forget that ever happened and so would Alice." "Let me make a suggestion." "Hang out with Henry, or Henry and Alice, not just Alice." "You slept with her." "She's not just a friend." "Geez, Dad, what is going on here?" "What is going on here is I think you might be sneaking around trying to see Dylan." "Where did that come from?" "I'll tell you where it came from." "Dylan's father." "He called me asking about Henry, if I know Henry." "Dylan's going out with Henry tonight." "He is not!" "Henry would not date Dylan." "Why not?" "You're not dating her anymore." "Well, I mean, he can date her if he wants, but he knows I still like her." "I don't think he would ask her out on a date." "But then again, I guess he did." "Huh." "It's, uh..." "I can't believe that." "Fancy that." "I can't either." "You're not maybe planning on going to the movies with Alice and then bumping into Henry and Dylan and doing a little do-si-do, are you?" "Go back upstairs." "You're not going anywhere." "And give me your phone." "What's the code?" "D-Y-L-A-N." "(SIGHS) I figured." "Look, come on, Dad, just let me go out with her." "Adrian's boyfriend is asking her to marry him and she's practically engaged and Amy's married and it's not fair!" "See ya." "Can I at least call Alice and tell her not to come over?" "Her number's in your contacts, right?" "I'll call her." "All right, that's just an invasion of privacy!" "Go." "I'm too old to be sent to my room!" "I'm divorced!" "I've lost a child!" "I'm over 18." "I'm an adult!" "Then start acting like an adult." "I'm done here." "Go." "(DIALING)" "Alice?" "Uh, It's me." "It's Leo." "Oh, hi, Mr. Boykewich." "You have Ben's phone?" "Yes, I do." "Oh, no, did you tell him that you know?" "Yeah, but I told him, uh, Dylan's dad told me." "Oh." "Thank you." "No, thank you for telling me." "You did the right thing." "And I just wanted to let you know you don't need to come over." "He's not going anywhere." "Okay." "Thanks." "Henry!" "Hi!" "Come in." "I want you to meet my parents." "I never smoked weed." "Marijuana." "Thank you for the clarification." "And I've never had a drink." "Filipino parents are very strict." "What time would you like me to bring your daughter home?" "We haven't said she can go out with you yet." "Uh, how do you two know each other?" "Dad, from school?" "Actually, and I don't think you know this, Dylan." "I first saw you at the same party where you met Ben." "I even pointed you out to Ben, because I took one look at you and I was totally smitten." "But Ben Boykewich moved in on you before I even had a chance." "Huh." "Interesting." "Yeah." "We should go." "No, we shouldn't." "If you were my daughter, I wouldn't just let you walk out of the house with some guy I don't know." "Ask me anything you want." "And I will try to answer honestly and to the best of my ability." "Would you like a piece of cake?" "Honestly?" "Yes." "I have a real sweet tooth." "What's your favorite dessert?" "Whatever you like to bake." "What does your father do?" "He's a male nurse." "He works in assisted care." "He wanted to be a doctor but his dad died when he was young and he had to take care of my grandmother and that's how he got into the field." "He's very patient." "He likes older people." "Our culture is very respectful of the elderly." "What would your family say if someday you wanted to marry someone outside of your culture?" "I've already asked." "We've discussed it at length, and my parents feel that matters of the heart should be decided by the heart." "Okay, if we're going to get to the 7:30 show, we really should be going." "But he didn't get his cake." "Let me get the cake." "We don't have time." "HENRY:" "We should take the time." "If we're going to be in a relationship, we want to get off to a good start." "You know what?" "Why don't we just hang out here?" "Do you like board games?" "Henry, I really want to see the movie." "The 7:30 movie." "What you want, Dylan, is very important to me." "But what your parents want is just as important." "Good man." "Nice to get some respect." "You sleep on the bed." "Let the girls sleep on these." "Okay, I'm sure they won't mind." "Thank you so much for letting them come over." "Letting them?" "Honey, this is your house, too, and your friends are always welcome here." "I'm so happy you made some friends." "I know how lonely you've been." "Yeah, my old friends kind of abandoned me." "Ah, who needs them?" "You're a darling girl." "You're smart and you're a lot of fun." "You girls have a good time tonight." "Now, I've got pizzas and salad, there's some fruit, popcorn, cookies." "There's some leftover chicken." "I can make some flautas and guacamole." "Whatever you want." "I think the pizza and the salad will be enough." "Thank you so much." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hi." "So are we doing something tonight or not?" "I can't." "My girlfriends are sleeping over." "I'm having a sleepover." "This is like the first normal thing I've done since I got pregnant." "All right, well..." "Just let me know where I fit in here." "Okay, I'll talk it over with Jody and Francine and I'll let you know." "(SCOFFS)" "I'm just joking." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, not funny." "And..." "You know what?" "This isn't going to work out." "I have to go." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "No, I have to go." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "And I don't like your friends, either." "They're not nice." "What does that have to do with anything?" "They're still my friends." "We'll see." "Yeah, we will." "Boyfriend problems?" "He thinks my friends aren't nice." "And why would he say that?" "Because they aren't." "But it's high school and you have to have friends and these are the only friends I can get right now." "Ooh, let's make some spicy ones." "Amy doesn't like spicy." "Actually, she prefers no meat." "You work at a butcher shop." "Yeah." "Okay, what about we make some hot sauce to dip them in?" "Good idea." "Remember that time..." "No." "Not unless you tell me the time." "You got the fusilli stuck up your nose?" "Okay, whose idea was that?" "And Mrs. Ramsey called the fire department to get it out." "I was turning blue in the face." "I stuck it up both..." "Oh, hi." "Oh, hi, Amy." "I didn't hear you come in." "Hi, I take it you're Clementine?" "Yeah." "Nice to meet you." "And who's this?" "That's the guy I wanted you to meet." "That's our son, John." "Hey, John, say hi to daddy's friend Clementine." "No." "(SIGHS)" "It's a great apartment." "Thanks, yeah, we're good." "So, how long have you been married?" "Um, just a couple of weeks now." "Oh, whoa, so you just got married." "I'll have to get you a wedding present." "Oh, no, no, please." "You don't have to do that." "So, you're a sophomore?" "Yeah." "Are you a freshman somewhere?" "No, I'm a senior." "In high school." "I'll be going to college next year." "I hope." "Great." "You're gonna love it." "I love it." "Great." "So, do you, like, have a boyfriend or anything?" "No." "I went out with this guy recently, but he's a jock." "You know how jocks are." "It was just, you know, a physical thing, I guess." "For him, anyway." "Actually, I don't really know how that is." "I've only really dated Ricky and a couple of other guys, but no jocks." "Well, I mean, Ricky is a jock, right?" "He's an amazing baseball player." "Or did he give that up?" "Yeah, I guess he did give it up." "Oh, man, he was playing for this team one summer and they were going to nationals and he had a no-hit season going." "It was unprecedented." "His name is probably on some plaque or something." "And then he drew a bunch of body parts on the bases." "Like first base for first base, second base for second..." "Yeah, I get it." "(CHUCKLES)" "He thought it would inspire the guys to try a little bit harder but the other team's coach saw it, protested, and had him kicked off the team and they lost without him." "So, maybe his name is not on a plaque." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Oh, excuse me," "I have friends dropping over, too." "Hi, Amy." "Hi." "Hey, come on in." "Sorry we're late." "We wanted to stop and get some dessert." "Oh, hi." "I'm Grace." "I'm..." "Clementine." "Yeah." "This is Jack." "And we're Christians." "Oh." "Interesting." "Clementine is at the same college that Ricky and Jack go to." "Hi, Clementine." "Hi." "I should be going." "Oh, no, please stay." "Ricky's just getting John down to bed." "I really should be going." "Thank you so much for inviting me over and letting me meet you and John." "Ricky loves you both so much." "But the meatballs..." "I have work tomorrow." "Hey, it was nice meeting you, uh..." "It's Grace." "Grace." "And Jack, right?" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "You slept with her?" "I feel bad that Ben didn't want to eat with us." "I felt badly he lied to me yet again." "Well, Leo, maybe you're just going to have to let him date Dylan." "No, I'm not." "I want to say something, if I may..." "I hope, whatever it is, it starts with an apology." "No." "It doesn't." "I just want to say that if you're going to tell me who to date," "I think I should have every right to tell you who to date." "What!" "Yeah." "And unless you plan on getting her pregnant or importing some offspring from some other source and adopting them, you should quit dating Camille." "No offense, Camille." "Are you drunk?" "No, I'm perfectly sober." "Last time, you married a hooker and I didn't speak up." "This time I'm speaking up." "You two do not belong together." "You're too fat and she's too thin." "She probably can't even get pregnant." "If she could, she would have trapped you by now." "(GROANS)" "(LAUGHING)" "You want to get married?" "Ow." "Well?" "Seriously?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "(LAUGHING)" "(WHISPERS) That really hurt." "(GROANING)" "I knew they weren't gonna come." "Maybe they got lost." "Maybe they got lost and they lost my phone number." "It was just a big joke on me." "I'm such an idiot." "No one wants to be friends with me." "I am sure there's some explanation." "Get real, Grandma." "I'm pregnant and I'm new at the school and no one wants anything to do with me." "And I knew it was going to be that way going into this." "Honey, don't say that." "And, of course, I blew it with Ethan because I was the "b" word to him." "Bitch." "Yes, I'm just surprised you said "'b' word."" "You have a tendency to use foul language, which I'm not completely opposed to when it's called for." "Why don't you call him?" "Oh, I can't." "I'll call him." "No, it's stupid for me to have a boyfriend." "It's bad timing." "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "I already called him." "Stay off the bed." "Or the one she's on, anyway." "So, mind if I come in?" "I guess not." "I told you those two weren't nice." "You came over here to tell me you told me so?" "Yeah." "And I wanted to show you how much nicer I am." "That's because you want to make out with me." "Uh, not in here." "It's a little intimate, you know." "And it would be a little difficult since I can't sit on that bed." "Maybe I'll just sit..." "Over here." "I feel like such a loser." "I have no girlfriends." "I don't have any friends either, but I'm not a loser and neither are you." "It's not that I'm feeling sorry for myself, but..." "I miss my room." "I miss my bed." "I miss my pets, my friends, my family." "And most of all, I miss my virginity." "Well, if you want, you can have mine." "(CHUCKLING)" "Shut up." "I knew you were going to say that." "So, what were you girls going to do at your sleepover, anyway?" "Talk about you." "I told you that's my favorite subject." "We can talk about me all you want." "Cecilia, you are a heck of a mah-jongg player." "Played growing up." "I'm still lost." "Next time, poker." "Oh, I don't gamble, but if you make it penny poker," "I might be willing to lose a buck or two." "Put the phone away, Dylan." "You have company." "Just texting my girlfriends." "It's time for me to leave." "Oh, It's only 9:00." "We could have some coffee, watch a movie." "More cake?" "Oh, the cake was awesome." "But really, I don't want to overstay my welcome, so, Dylan, do you want to walk me to the door?" "Go ahead, Dylan." "Go ahead." "Of course." "What are you doing?" "Ben has been waiting for hours." "Oh, I doubt it." "You doubt it?" "Okay, let me rephrase that." "I don't care." "I don't care about Ben." "I care about you." "And I did see you first at that party and I am really smitten with you." "And I'm angry with myself for stepping aside for my friend." "You slept with Ben's wife that night." "Yeah, I did." "And it was a huge mistake, huge." "But stepping aside, huger mistake." "He doesn't deserve you." "He's in love with Amy." "He's always been in love with Amy, so don't waste your time." "And I hope you'll give me a chance." "Good night, Robert." "Good night, Cecilia." "BOTH:" "Good night, Henry." "He's such a slut." "He's probably slept with half the girls on the campus already." "JACK:" "No, I haven't." "You know how much it costs me to fill up my truck?" "A hundred bucks." "Get a hybrid, man." "It's the only way to go." "Uh, a little too girly for me." "Oh, yeah, that's right, sorry." "It was a free car." "My parents gave it to me, so..." "It is a little girly, but I'd have to have a very good reason if I wanted to trade it in." "You got a family." "You need something bigger." "Amy's got a bigger car." "Of course, it's orange." "Why did she pick orange?" "I don't know, some friend of her mother's gave it to her just to annoy her dad." "You both got free cars?" "Yeah, so no car payments." "If we had car payments, we'd be in trouble." "You got a scholarship, right?" "Yeah, you got one too, right?" "Yeah." "Yours is based on academics, but mine a depends on my game and the coach isn't too happy with me right now." "Yeah, well, you gotta do what you gotta do." "I don't know." "Grace, he was with Clementine before you guys were even back together." "He was with Clementine knowing we were going to get back together." "All right, well, aren't you happy that you didn't have sex with him?" "I mean, aren't you happy that you decided to wait?" "Not to wait, but to wait to do it again?" "'Cause you're worth waiting for." "And if Jack's not ready, then he's not ready." "Let him do whatever he wants to do." "You just have to stay committed to yourself and your beliefs and who you are." "Wow." "I wish we had been closer the last few years." "Well, it would have been awkward, considering my mother and your mother were not so friendly." "Yeah." "Think they'll ever be friends?" "Yeah." "I do." "My mother is clearly not interested in being with my father anymore." "How's that going?" "For you, I mean?" "Is it weird?" "Uh, yeah." "(CHUCKLES)" "Yeah, it is." "But you know, she should be who she is, too, and I just have to get used to that." "Do you think your dad and my mom will ever get married?" "Think we'll ever be sisters?" "I wouldn't mind." "I always kind of wanted a sister." "I always wanted a nice sister." "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "Let me get that." "Ugh, she better not have come back." "(SIGHS)" "RICKY:" "Who is it?" "ADRIAN:" "It's me." "I'm not going to be left out." "I'm not interested in you." "Where's Clementine?" "What are you doing here?" "Why shouldn't I be here?" "I'm friends with all of you." "I heard from Clementine you were having a little party." "I had to hear it from her." "What, am I not good enough to hang out with the rest of you now?" "Oh, no." "Come on in." "You're welcome to come over whenever you want." "But you should bring Omar because this is like a couples thing." "Oh, geez, I'll just be in the kitchen." "So?" "Where is she?" "Jack slept with her." "That slut!" "Her or Jack?" "Both." "And you know what, Amy?" "I think she's after Ricky." "But don't worry." "I got your back." "I am not worried." "Look, she didn't know that Jack was in love with Grace and they weren't together yet, so let's not judge her, okay?" "She seemed nice enough and I want to like her." "How do you do it?" "How do you look at that girl knowing what she did to our Grace, and see nothing but unicorns and puppies?" "I'm tired of girls being mean to girls, all right?" "All right, who's being mean?" "We're all being mean to Clementine." "Oh, come on." "Yeah, come on." "Where's Omar tonight?" "Oh, uh, he introduced me to his mother, so now I have to take things really slowly because he is being really serious." "But that's great." "I don't know." "Might be the right guy at the wrong time." "(SIGHS)" "What's in these?" "Meat." "Ground beef and pork, some seasoning, bread crumbs." "I got a game tomorrow." "I should be eating some carbs." "Well, there's pasta." "It's still in the pan." "We just never got around to serving it." "Help yourself." "I think we're in for a long night." "I got curfew." "Who are you playing tomorrow?" "A team we've never beaten, so..." "Hmm." "So." "This might be a good time for you to come out of the closet." "(CHUCKLING)" "I know you're a Christian." "Oh, man, maybe, but it's just such a burden." "I guess I should go now." "Margaret's sitting out in the driveway." "You left her sitting in the driveway?" "I owe her." "She does it to me all the time." "So, I'm going to go." "All right." "Good night." "Good night." "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "Ew, you're going to kiss him?" "What is he doing here?" "What are you doing here?" "You invited us." "Yeah, thanks for the wrong address." "Are you dyslexic as well as pregnant?" "I'll go now." "We got lost and it took hours to convince my mom" "I wouldn't get pregnant just by sleeping in the same room as you." "You went to state in the spelling bee?" "Y-E-S." "Yeah, my mom saw it on the Internet and a whole bunch of other things." "How can you be so smart and get pregnant?" "Do you know what you're having?" "She's a girl, but I'm letting a couple adopt her." "Oh, I was adopted." "Can I have this?" "I'm starving." "You're always starving." "How was it, being adopted?" "I don't remember." "I was just a baby." "But, you know, my mom and my dad have always just been my mom and dad." "I had these fantasies that my birth mother was this big famous movie star, so my parents encouraged me to meet her." "She is not a big famous movie star." "She's this 45-year-old actress who had like one line on a sitcom you never heard of 20 years ago she never worked again." "And she thought I would get in her way." "She still does." "She posted a video of herself online." "Do you want to see her?" "I guess." "I mean, this doesn't make you feel weird or anything, does it?" "No." "Okay." "(BEEPING)" "(VIDEO PLAYING) (ALL LAUGHING)" "Oh!"