"# Wind blowing through my hair" "# Everybody telling me there's nowhere like home" "# Oh, no" "# There's somewhere else for me" "# I need to take the opportunity and go" "# And go, yeah" "# I wanna see my name in lights and someone to buy the movie rights" "# I wanna hear my music come to life" "# Ohhh" "# Sometimes you gotta get out of Kansas" "# And sometimes you gotta take your chances" "# Cos no one ever made it just waiting around" "# For their big 15 minutes in a two-bit town" "# And one thing I know is crystal clear" "# I gotta get outta here" "# I said I gotta get outta here" "# Mm-mm" "# I gotta get out of here" "Dorothy!" "Enough daydreaming." "These ketchup bottles won't refill themselves." "Sorry, Aunt Em." "I just can't stop thinking about my audition today." " So, how do I look?" " Like one of them girls in them rap videos." "Order's up!" "Uncle Henry, what do you think of my outfit?" "You look like one of them girls in a rap video." "But we cannot allow you to walk around the street dressed like that." "Dorothy's old enough to dress the way she wants." "Now, Em, don't get mad." "Baby?" "Uh-oh." "There you go." "It's three o'clock." "I've gotta go to my audition." "And this is what I'm wearing." "What?" "You can't leave." " Hey, Early." "Hey!" " Hey, Em." "I need you for the early-bird rush." "I know I'm leaving you short-handed, but this is big." "If they like me, I could get out of Kansas and become somebody." "If they like you?" "See, that's your problem." "Look, you can roll out of here in one of those stretch Hummers and sing all around the world, but you'll never get to where you wanna be until you're happy with who you are." "You can go audition after your shift is over." "Come, come, come." "You're gonna pass up an opportunity to audition for the Muppets, the most powerful puppets in Hollywood?" "You heard the wise one:" ""You won't be where you're going till you're where you're at."" "Well, you've been a great employee at my diner for years, and it's time I repaid the favour." "So go to your audition." " Thanks!" " Go on." " Excuse me." "Henry!" " Hey, baby." " Henry!" " Remember what I said." "Ten percent." "I'm kidding." "How can it be so hard to find an all-American girl with talent?" "Yeah." "How do the producers of Girls Gone Wild do it?" "Mr. Kermit!" "Miss Piggy!" "Oh, great, a groupie." "Sorry, dear, auditions are over." "I wanted to sing for you, but if it's too late do you think maybe you can listen to my demo?" " No time." "We'll get your song off Napster." " Piggy." "Sure." "Gee..." "And you're a singer?" " Yeah." " And you did this demo yourself?" " All by myself." " Time to go!" " Listen, I will try to listen to your CD!" " OK, thanks for your... time." "Through the Central Plains area." " Don't forget toilet paper." " This just in." "The National Weather Bureau has raised the twister alert from right-foot green to right-foot yellow." "So all you people in Boomville and Washedup should take extra precautions." "Baby, what took you so long?" "Miss your bus?" "You got what you wanted." "I'm still stuck here." " You need to talk to your niece." " You need to talk to your niece." "OK, I'll talk to her." "I'll just pack the box." "Toto, is this it for me?" "Serving meatloaf to truckers and living in a Kansas trailer park?" "Now, I know you think show business is all glitz and glamour, but it's not." "That is true." "That is very, very true." "Hollywood is full of crime and flash fires, earthquakes, paparazzi..." "I know you wanna leave, but you still belong here with your family and friends." " What friends?" " What friends?" "Come on." "Toto's your friend, and, um... you got, uh..." "Toto's your friend." "Toto's a prawn I rescued from the diner because you won't let me have a dog." "Well, dogs are funky." "And they got fleas, OK?" "Look, how about this?" "When this blows over, we will go to the Karaoke Bar and Buffet." " Sing, girl!" " Don't you guys get it?" "I don't want to sing karaoke in some little Kansas restaurant." "I want an exciting life." "I want to go somewhere where I can see a concert, or take dance lessons, or maybe even learn cabbala." " Cabbala?" "Did she blaspheme?" " I don't think so." "I wanna go somewhere where I can be someone." "Maybe even a star." "OK, do you wanna be a star or a singer?" "Because they're not the same thing." "All I know is that I hate living here and I don't want to end up like you." "Uh-oh." "Well..." "Hey, did you know that in the northern hemisphere hurricanes twist counterclockwise, but in the south they twist clockwise?" "I'd hate to be the guy that figured that out." "With the wind just blowing everything..." "Well, that's the round." "Back to your corners." "I'm heading to the storm shelter before this tornado hits and we all die." "Anybody care to join me?" "Great." "Stuck with these two knuckleheads in a storm shelter." "Dorothy, come on!" " Henry, come on!" " Come on, I'll help you." "Come on, babe." " Wait!" "I forgot Toto!" " No!" "It's just a shrimp!" "He's not a shrimp, he's a king prawn!" "Dorothy!" "Toto!" "Toto!" "Sorry, Toto!" "When I make it big, I'm gonna buy a nice brick house that's anchored to the ground." "Ouch." "Toto!" "Toto!" "Come on, Toto!" "Where are you?" "Toto!" " You're all big." "And you're talking." " Sí." "But more importantly, I am naked, OK." " Wait!" "No!" " Huh?" "What?" " Here." " Oh, no, no, no." "He's not my type, OK." " The clothes." " Oh, the clothes." "You want me to put on the clothes, you just have to say, "Put on the clothes."" " Oh." "It's a nice fit, OK?" " Yeah, it's kind of cute." "I like how..." "Sí." "Sí." "What am I doing?" " You can't be talking to me." " Oh, but I am." " I need some air." " Sí." "Sí." "I have this effect on all the womens, OK." "I'll come with you." " Little help, please." " Come on." "Gracias." "There." "They get satellite here." "Can't believe..." " Do you see what I see?" " Yeah." " All the houses are so tiny." " It's a small world, after all." " Oh, my gosh." "What?" " I can't believe it." "I can't believe it." "Ay, Chihuahua!" "No, wait." "They're not Chihuahuas." "Ay, rats!" "Rats in hats!" "Rats in hats - get it?" "I'm a poet and I didn't even realise I had such a capability." "OK." "I work in a diner." "I know how to handle rats." "Rats?" "We ain't rats." "Excuse me." "Pardon me." "Coming through." "We're the Munchkins of Munchkinland." "Munchkins?" "Sorry, but I know a rat when I see one." "Whatever you say, short stacks." "All I know is, thanks to you, the Wicked Witch of the East is dead and we are free!" "Get over here and get this tin can off me!" "Now!" "My gosh, she's alive!" "Quick, we gotta help her!" " Well, Munchkins, we're too late." " Guys!" "But no tears - she's in a better place." "I'm gonna put you in a better place - in my oven!" "You hear me?" "Could someone spot me?" "Wow!" "This is a lot heavier than I..." "Ew!" "OK." "Now she's dead!" "Look, even the twisters are Munchkin-size." "That's no twister, that's her sister." "She's the sister of the witch you just crushed with a house." "Sister?" "Cuddles!" "Cuddles!" "Each and every one of you!" "My speed-dating ended early, so I thought I'd drop in for a cuddle and a visit with my wicked East-Coast sister." "Yeah, well, a funny thing about the East-Coast sister..." "Not so much funny as, uh... disturbing." "Disturbing." "Yes." "You see, this giant girl over here kinda squashed her to death with a double-wide." " What?" " Yeah." "Right here." "Uck-ah!" "Excuse me." "I just want you to know that I've never met this giant girl before in my entire life." "Sorry, Dorothy... um..." "Giant Girl." "It was an accident." "I swear." " Well, in that case, c'est la vie!" " La vie!" "La vie!" "I drop things all the time myself." "Charmed to make your acquaintance." "I am Tattypoo, the old and Good Witch of the North." "So tell me, what kind of magical abilities do you have?" "Well, I don't have any magical abilities, but I am a singer." "A singer?" "Really?" "That's so funny!" "I'm a singer too." "My sisters and I were once the hottest girl band in Oz." "But all that fame and fortune left me feeling empty inside." "So I quit show biz and committed my life to advancing rights for the vertically challenged of Oz, my little Munchie-wunchies." "Cuddles!" "Oh, yes!" "Well, it's been nice meeting you and all, but I should probably be on my way." "Anyone know how to get to Kansas?" "Never heard of it." "Is this Kansas a civilized country?" "If by civilized you mean flat, boring and grey, yeah, it's civilized." " Then why do you want to go back?" " Yeah, why do we want to go back?" "Well, because..." "Aunt Em and..." "Well..." "I don't know what Kansas is, but if you want to be a famous singer, you must see the wonderful Wizard of Oz." "First you have to wear my sister's shoes." "Here." "You want me to wear shoes off a nasty old witch?" "I don't think so." "Oh, but there's a powerful magic connected to them." "And look how sparkly they are." "Nn-nn." "Listen, high pockets, here's how things work in enchanted lands." "Shoes have magical powers." "If you have the shoes, you get the powers." "But if you're going to question every little detail, the whole thing's gonna fall apart and we might as well call it a day, OK?" "They're Manolos!" "Manolos?" "Why didn't you say that?" " Check the label." " Yeah, they're good." " I'll help you, OK." " Ooh!" "Those are unbelievable, OK?" "Wow!" "They fit perfectly!" "If these magic shoes are supposed to make you feel confident and sexy, then mission accomplished." "So, take me to meet your wizard." "To get to the wizard, just follow this road of yellow brick to Emerald City." "It's in the exact centre of our country." "I gotta walk to the centre of your country?" "There's no bus or anything?" " You wanna be a star or not?" " OK, OK, sorry." "Well, let's go." " Oh, hold up there, Giant Girl." " The name's Dorothy." "Well, Dorothy, we Munchkins kinda owe ya for saving us and all." "You ever need a favour, just give us a holler, like so..." "# Calling all Munchkins" "# Let's do lunchkins" " # One for all - # And all for one" " # Calling all Munchkins - # Munchkins, Munchkins, Munchkins..." "# Take our call" "You sing that and we'll come a-scampering." "Yeah, we'll be sure to do this, OK." "Let's go, Dorothy." "One more thing." "A-ha..." "I don't know why I didn't mention this before." "Whatever you do, avoid the west." "My other evil sister rules there, and if she finds out you have the silver shoes, she'll hunt you down and pry 'em off your cold, dead carcass." "Bye." "Why are you just now telling me this?" "Come on, Dorothy." "You're not getting any younger, OK." "Let's go get famous." "I don't know." "That Witch of the West thing sounds dangerous." "Don't worry about it." "You're going to have to trust me, you know?" " I'm your agent, OK." " When did I make you my agent?" "Well, since you're asking, I thought possibly what we could do is..." "Come on, short stuff." "I wish you'd stop with this agent thing." "Yes, yes, I know." "It's very awkward for you, OK." "But it's important that we discuss my commission." "So, it seems that 50%% % is easiest." "I think I liked it better when you couldn't talk." "You think about it, OK." "Take your time." "I'm gonna get some corn." "It's fresh on the cobs, OK." " You got something in your eye." " What?" " This!" "Yah!" "Yah!" " Hey, stop that!" " Hey!" " Oh, this is the last straw!" " No, I see one here." " Stop that!" "Get your grubby beak off him!" "Huh?" "Cuckoo!" " You OK?" " Huh?" "What?" "Oh, I'm fine." "But lucky for that crow you showed up when you did, cos I was gonna come off these sticks and I was gonna..." "I was..." "Yeah, thanks." "I think I owe you one." "Name's Scarecrow." "I'm Dorothy." "And that's Toto." "Oh, what the hey?" "Go ahead and eat the corn." "Better you than the birds." "I'm the worst scarecrow ever." "But what can I do?" "I'm tied to a job I'm no good at." "Literally." "If you ask me, I think it's time for a career change." "No, I can't do that." "I'm not good at anything because  I don't have a brain." " You don't have a brain?" " Right." " Why are you whispering?" " What?" "Uh..." "Well, I can't really answer that because..." "I don't have a brain." "Well, let's get you down from there." "Now why didn't I think of that?" "Oh, right." "No brain." "Whoa..." " Why, thank you, Dorothy." " You're welcome, Scarecrow." " This was me." " Ugh!" "What?" "What?" "You can smell it?" "We're on our way to meet the Wizard of Oz and he's gonna make me a superstar singer." "And if he can do that, I bet he can give you a brain." "If I had a brain, I wouldn't be stupid." "And if I wasn't stupid, I'd be able to do something important." "Something that helps people's lives." "How about it, then?" "Will you come with us to Emerald City?" "Emerald?" "You mean it's green?" "You bet!" "I like it already." " Thank you." " I can't believe it." "She's got to pick up every Tom, Dick and Carlos on the road!" " This is totally unacceptable, OK." " These shoes are killing me." "Come on, quit busting my shell, OK." "My client is A-list now." "She deserves the A-list monies, OK." "Will you knock it off!" "You're not an agent and the cell phone isn't even real." "Listen, I'm gonna have to call you back." "The diva's having a meltdown, OK." " Ooh!" "Pinone nuts!" " Hey, do you hear that?" "Sounds like it's coming from over there." " "T-l-N."" " Wonder what that means." "Maybe "trust in no one"." "It could be a sign." "There's another sign:" ""Danger." "High Voltage."" "Wonder what that means?" "Hm." "Hello?" " Look!" "Look at all the computers, OK." " Yeah." "Is there somebody in that chair?" "There's somebody in that chair!" "Dios mío!" "He's twitching, he's twitching." " Think he's stuck?" " You think he needs our help?" "You think he could check my e-mails?" "Maybe we should press this restart button." "Hey!" "Hey..." "Oh, gosh..." "Oh!" "Welcome to the Total Intelligence Network." ""TIN" for short." "Ooh!" "I must've froze up trying to run too many programs." "What in the name of all that is holy are you, OK?" "I'm a Tin Thing." "A fully-robotic information-gathering device for the Wicked Witch of the West, and I can answer any question in the universe." "Anything." "I'd give my stuffed foot for half of your brains." "Brains don't make you happy." "I'm nothing but a brain, thanks to the Wicked Witch." " She made you like this?" " Did she ever!" "When I was a research assistant, I made the mistake of asking for a vacation so I could marry the love of my life, Camilla." "She's a chicken?" "Weirdo." "The Wicked Witch got so angry she waved her wand and ka-blowie!" "Next thing I know, I'm a walking, talking robotic... thing." "Oh..." " That's terrible." " Yeah, she could've just said no." "But why did she turn you into a robot?" "Because robots don't have hearts, and without a heart, I couldn't love Camilla." "And without Camilla, I could work day and night." "Well, nice talking to you." "Back to work." " Excuse me?" " Huh?" "We're on our way to see the Wizard of Oz." "He's gonna make me a famous singer." " And he's gonna give me a brain." " And he probably give me lots of monies." "And if he can do that, I'm sure he can give you a heart." "Really?" "I'm sure if I had a heart I could win Camilla back." " Yeah!" " Maybe I will go with you." "All right, well, let's go!" "All right!" " Are you OK?" " Sure." "I just forgot to untether." "I don't get out much." "OK." "Oh, where's my cell phone?" "Ah!" " OK." " OK." "Let's go." " Wait a second." "That's your cell phone?" " Yeah." "Interesting." "What do these do?" "Nothing." "They're my nipples." "I feel dirty!" "What a weirdo." " This creepy forest goes on forever." " You can say that again." "How much further?" "My feet are killing me." " I gotta sit down." " Sí." "Me too." "Scoot over." "These shoes may be magical, but they're not so comfortable." "They can put a trailer in Munchkinland, but they can't make a magic shoe that's comfortable." "Go figure." "Ouch!" "This place is crazy." "Even the logs talk." " Um, Dorothy?" " Yeah?" "What is?" " What do you?" "Lion?" " Shrimp!" " No, prawn." " Oh, prawn." "Toto!" " Get... off..." " OK my... tail!" "Hey!" "Get your paws off my prawn!" "Please don't hit me." "Take anything you want." "Here, my wallet." "It's Velcro." "Take it." "Well, look at you." "You're nothing but a big coward." "So are you going to eat me or not?" " Eat you?" "Why would we do that?" " Don't you work for... she who must not be named?" " Who?" " You mean the Wicked Witch of the West?" " No." "We don't even like her." " B-because we love her so much!" "Ha ha ha ha..." "Are you crazy?" "The Wicked Witch of the West has spies everywhere." "The trees, the shrubs, the owls, the bunnies..." "Evil, savage bunnies..." "You're king of the beasts." "If some critter gives you attitude, all you gotta do is roar." "Yeah." "But I don't want to scare anyone." "I just want to make people laugh." "Kill 'em with comedy, that's my motto." "I dream of one day being Oz's greatest stand-up comedian." "Ever play Emerald City?" "I've never played, period." "I've got stage fright." " OK." "Tell us a joke now." "There's no stage." " Yeah, go ahead." " No, I can't..." " Come on." "OK." "I can do this." "Um..." "Wacka, wacka, wacka!" "Hey, there." "Thanks for coming tonight." "So, what's the deal with the wizard?" "For someone so wonderful, he certainly doesn't know how to..." "Sorry." "Performance anxiety." "You know, we're on our way to Emerald City to ask the wizard for some help." " Maybe he can give you some courage." " Courage?" "Gosh, that sounds... scary." "Oh, don't worry." "It'll be OK." "Yeah." "I mean, so you're not so brave." "I'm not so smart." "And I'm so empty inside I could cry." " And I'm so gosh-darn sexy, it hurts." " See?" "We all have our issues." "But we're working 'em out... together." "Right." "I mean, what are friends for?" "# Where my brain should be" "# There's a cavity" "# Where most folks have hearts I've got old spare parts" "# Now I'm on my own" "# In the great unknown" "# And it's more than one person can bear" " Bear?" " Agh!" "Where?" "# Well, now I got some smart new partners" "# Who can help me think things through" "# Folks say I'm just a hick on a stick" " # Well, that may be true" " Sí." "It's true." "# But when my stuffing's not enough" "# I know just what I should do-la-dee-doo" "# See, I don't miss the brains I'm missing" "# When I'm with you" "# I used to be romance compatible" "# I wrote sonnets and waltzes and more" "# But now that my heart is mechanical" "# It only beats four-on-the-floor" "Nice!" "# But you've got friends to stand beside you" " # And we'll reboot your old CPU - # Wow!" "# I don't miss the heart I'm missing" "# When I'm with you" "# I wish my stage fright weren't so terrible" "# My jokes never garner a roar" "# With us you can try new material" "# You see, that's what friends are for" "# Now you can sleep without a night-light" " # And forget every..." " # Creak, bang and boo!" "# Hey!" "I don't miss the spine I'm missing" " # When I'm with you - # Still we've got something great together" "# So let's all get up and go" " # We'll overachieve - # Wear our hearts on our sleeves" "# Get on with the show" "# Now we are in the right direction" "# And I see all our dreams coming true" "# Yes, anything is possible" "# When I'm with you" " # I'm just so sexy!" " Wow, a shrimp that shimmies!" " # Our act's unfloppable - # Troubles are hoppable" " # It's all so logical - # We'll be unstoppable" " # Cashmere is washable - # Anything is possible" "# When I'm with you" "# I'm with you" "# I'm with you" "# I'm with you" "# I'm with..." "# You" " Great!" " Come on, guys." "Let's get rich, come on!" "It's getting dark, isn't it?" "Anybody got a night-light?" "Just to let you know, nothing scares me more than heights." "There's a pair of vicious Kalidah Critics." "Very rare in these parts." "Those monstrous beasts just love to rip performers to shreds." "Really?" "How?" "They do it with their...... words." "So all we gotta do is ignore their words and keep our balance to the other side." " That's right." " What?" " What are you?" " You're going to cross?" " Follow me." " Dorothy, don't." " You're gonna fall off!" " You're gonna fall!" "It's a long way down!" "Hey, that's Dorothy Gale, the new overnight sensation." "She's killing 'em in Munchkinland." "Just ask the Wicked Witch of the East." "I hear she's really bringing down the houses." "Shut up!" "Concentrate, Dorothy." " She made it!" " Whoo!" "All right, let's go." " You go first." " OK." "You go next." " I hear it's lonely at the top." " Wait till he hits the bottom." " I did it, OK." "That was easy for me." " That's it, that's it." "One thing's for sure about playing the Kalidah Bridge." "You're sure to make a big splash!" "It's not that far down, anyway." "We made it!" "We made it!" " OK, come on, Lion." " Come on, Lion." " Nice log." " Be careful, it's slippery up there!" "Ooh, I feel a wind coming on!" " Oh, there's Lion." " He thinks he's a comedian." "Yeah, but his jokes bomb so badly, the army tried to put a fuse on him!" "Whoa, whoa!" "You know, there are two reasons why I don't like Lion's jokes." " What are they?" " My ears." "I can't do it!" "I can't do it, guys." "I can't move!" "Ignore them." "What they're saying has nothing to do with you." "What?" "Unless there's another lion up here on this log, I think they're talking to me." "I just think he needs a little help." "I'm going up." "Be careful." " Your jokes are no good!" " You're not funny!" "Pay no attention to your critics." "It's gonna be one step at a time, OK?" "Now take my hand." "Put your tail down." "Calm yourself." "Now take my hand." "Come on." "That's it." "Now we're just gonna walk off." " We're just walking." " Hang on!" "You can do it!" "You can do it!" "You're all right." "Come on, you've got it." "You've got it." "Yes!" "Oh, thank you, Tin Thing." " Come on, guys." " Let's go." "Go on, get out of here!" "You'll still never make it to where you're going." "Good work, Lion." "Wasn't he great, guys?" " He sure was." " I don't know." "Hey, what's that, guys?" ""Poppyfields." What's that?" "Poppyfields?" "It's only the coolest club in Oz, baby." "This day has been kind of crazy." "It wouldn't hurt to stop for a little fun." "A little fun?" "Get ready to have the time of your life, girl." "Come on, let's get inside before this place is no longer cool." "Yeah." "After you." "All right now, y'all follow me." "I'll put you in the best seats in the house." "Sounds great!" "# Nap time" "I can't wait to get a brain and understand what's fun about trendy nightclubs." "Yeah." "What's the deal with all these poppies anyway?" "Wait." "According to my database, the poppy has a powerful sleep-inducing effect." "Sleep-inducing effect?" "That's silly." "How could a little flower..." " Lion?" " Lion, are you OK?" " Lion?" " Is he all right?" "He's fine." "You know what?" "We don't need to go to Emerald City." "We should just stay here at Poppyfields, where it's so... relaxing." "Dorothy!" "Dorothy." "Dorothy, wake up." "Dorothy!" "Lion!" "Why won't they wake up?" "I don't know!" "You know, the bathrooms here are so comfortable, OK." "It's the poppies." "Let's get Toto out of here and then we can figure out what to do about Dorothy and Lion." "Come on." "You grab that arm." "Nap time." "Ooh, I'm so sleepy, OK." "If something happens to Dorothy, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself." "I know, but we can't carry them out of there." "We have to think." " Oh, rats!" "I'm no good at thinking." " Whoo, rats!" "Rats in hats." " What?" " They said they could... help us." "Wait!" "How?" "How?" " By singing the song." " What?" "You know, it goes..." "Wait!" "Sing the song!" "# Calling all Munchkins Let's do lunchkins" "# All for one and one for all" "# Come on..." " Come on, finish it!" " # Munchkins take our..." "What?" "What?" "#... call" "Somebody page me?" "Dorothy's in trouble." "Poppy exposure." "Poppies?" "Rats!" "Munchkins, fall in!" "We've got a girl to save!" "Sir, yes, sir!" "Sergeant Bubba." "Company, heel!" "Nice." "All right, troops, Operation Gingham's a go!" "# Nap time" "Hut, hut, hut..." "# Nap time" "Oh, Dorothy, please don't be hurt." "Wake up!" "OK, out of the way, peoples." "It's time for Toto to give the mouth-to-mouth." " I'll give to Dorothy, you get the lion, OK." " Wait a minute!" "I have a better idea." "Charging!" "And clear!" " I'm up." "I'm totally up!" " All right, she's alive!" " What happened?" " Lucky for you the Munchkins showed up." "Thanks." "I don't know what came over me." "I'd say about maybe 20,000 volts there, Medusa." "Big cat waking up, boys." "Time to go." "Good luck in Emerald City, Giant Girl." "What'd I miss?" "Very funny, guys." "Next time you could at least tell me about my..." "Emerald City!" "Look at it!" " It's so beautiful!" " And yet so terrifying all at the same time." "Whoa." " Well, this is the place." " Whoa!" "We made it, Dorothy." "Your dream's about to come true." "OK, we agree now - what happens in Emerald City stays in Emerald City, OK." " Can I help you?" " Hi." "I'm Dorothy Gale, and we travelled all the way across Oz to see the wizard." "Hm..." "Dorothy Gale." "Hm..." "Nope." "Not on the list." "Are you sure?" "Check again." "And who are you?" " We're friends of Dorothy." " Right." "Well, she's not on the list, so go away." "Erm..." "Hold on a minute, big bird." "Come here." "Listen, listen." "Mm-hm..." "Flattened by a double-wide?" "Well, we don't want any trouble..." "Um..." "Oh, there's just been a cancellation." "You may go in." " Oh, great!" " Door!" "...weirdoes..." "Gale... double-wide..." "They're all yours, sir." " Hello!" " Wait." "You're the Wizard of Oz?" "Oh, no." "I'm not the wizard, I'm Scooter." "First assistant to the big man." "Welcome, Dorothy." "Why, we've heard a lot about you." " You're all anyone's talking about." " A-ha!" " Really?" " That's terrific!" "Yeah, but before the wizard can turn you into an overnight sensation, certain precautions have to be taken." " Precautions?" " Yup." "Follow me." "Come on." "Let's go." "OK, here we are." "Come on in." "Welcome to Emerald City, where the place is so bright you've got to wear shades or your eyeballs will fry like a couple of eggs." "This spotlight duplicates the brilliance of the wizard and his radiant wonderfulness." "Radiant wonderfulness." "As you can see, thanks to my patented lenses, Beaker's retinas remain uncooked." "Ma-maa!" "And they will still protect his eyes even when the intensity is doubled." "Good grief!" "OK, give me the glasses." "So, do we get to see the wizard now?" "Oh, well, if you want to be the next big thing, you've got to look the part." "Welcome to Emerald City's Magical Makeover Machine." "Oh, wow." " You want me to go in there?" " Absolutely." "No way!" "You just fried that guy's head off." "Well, you can't go see the wizard looking like that." " I mean, what is that, a tablecloth?" " Check, please!" "Fine." "I'll get in your makeover machine." "She's in." "Hey!" "What is that?" "Ow!" "Hey!" "Give that back!" " Now you're talking, baby!" " Beautiful!" " What do you think?" " Oh, my!" "She's ready to see the wizard now." "Come on, follow me." "Come on." "OK, walk this way." "Come on." " Fabulous." " Wow." "Who are those who seek an audience with the all-powerful Wizard of Oz?" "First." "Bring in the lion." " The lion?" " Wait." "Stop." "Hold on." "You heard him, Lion." "You gotta go in first now." "It's gonna be OK." "It's gonna be OK." "A wave of relaxation is flowing throughout your body." "A feeling of peace and..." "Don't wet the floor!" "Don't wet the floor!" "Scooter, is there a bathroom?" "Scooter?" "I am Oz, the great and terrible." "Who are you, and why do you seek me?" "I..." "I..." "I wanna be a stand-up comedian." " Really?" " Yes, sir." "Well then, tell me a joke." "No, I-I can't do that." "I..." "I have stage fright." "I kind of lack courage in general, actually." "Tell me a joke now!" "Why did the Wicked Witch throw a clock out the window to see time fly?" "No, wait." "I mean, when the witch had a clock and..." "Wacka, wacka!" "Next." "I am Oz, the great and terrible." "What do you want?" "Hi, there, Mr. Oz." "Um..." "Are you, by chance, any relation to Frank Oz?" "I'll, uh..." "I'll take that as a no." "Well, I'm here because I wanna ask you for a..." "I..." " Hurry up, brainless!" " Oh!" "Oh!" "Yes, yes." "A brain." "That's right, a brain." "I'd really love to have a brain." "Uh..." "For my head." "You know, the old noggin." "You're fired." "Next." "Well, hello." "What is it you're looking for, tin, dark and handsome?" " Actually, I'm here looking for a heart." " Oh, a heart." "Are you sure there isn't anything else I can do you for?" "No, no." "You see, I already have a girlfriend." "She's a chicken." "Oh, a chicken, eh?" "Yeah!" " Well, does she have a big beak like this?" " How did you know?" "And does she have huge floppy wings like this?" "Look at the size of those wings!" "No, no, no." "I'm not here for that." "Um... uh..." "I've just come here to get a heart..." "Whoo!" "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" "Next!" "Bye-bye." "That's it!" "What are you doing with my fr?" "Whoa." "What?" "No hello?" "Ooh!" "Aren't you the little girl who wanted to be a big star?" "Yeah." "I heard that you were all great and powerful, and I came all this way and I was sort of hoping..." "Blah-di-blah." "Let's just cut to the chase." "I am prepared to give you all your heart desires - fame, hit records, and a tabloid story linking you romantically to the famous person of your choice." "Really?" "So, what do I gotta do?" "Oh, nothing, really." "Just bring me the Wicked Witch of the West's magic eye!" "Eye, eye..." "I'm sorry, the what?" "The Wicked Witch of the West's magic eye!" "Eye..." "OK, she has this magic eye that gives her the power to see all in Oz." "If you cross the Mountains of Death, remove her eye and bring it back to me, your wildest dreams shall come true." " What about my friends?" " Brains, hearts, courage..." "Done!" "If you bring me the eye." "Jeez, you need anything else while we're there?" "A kidney or..." "Silence!" "That's the deal on the table." "Now be gone from my sight!" "Ooh." "Ooh." "Uh..." "Um..." "This is embarrassing." "Um..." "Would you mind, um... jumping?" " In there?" " Yeah." "If you wouldn't mind." "I guess." "Excuse me." "Are you busy?" "I thought she'd never leave, OK." "So for me, I would like a date with JLo, of course." "Nothing too serious." "Maybe a little something between marriages." " Do you guys hear something?" " Santa Maria!" " Oh, dear." " Oh, gracias." "Gracias." "Hey, good news, everyone." "The wizard is going to grant all our wishes, OK!" " Yes!" " Yes!" " That's great!" " I think I should tell 'em..." "And all we have to do is cross the Mountains of Death, poke out the Wicked Witch's eye and give it to the wizard!" "It could happen." "Stupid wizard." "Make us climb the stupid mountains to find the stupid witch." "Yeah!" "And I was very clear about being a cowardly lion." "I didn't know I'd have to do something like this to become a famous singer." "I'm starting to think maybe being a star isn't all it's cracked up to be." "Wait a second." "Dorothy, you know you'll always be a star with us, right?" "Thanks." "I never thought I'd say it, Scarecrow, but Kansas never looked so good." "I miss home." "I miss my family." "OK, OK." "Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, OK." "I live in a stinking algae-covered fishbowl in a trailer park, OK." "We're going to poke the witch in the eye." "End of story." "Wah, wah, wah." ""Poor me, poor me." You guys are pathetic, OK." "Let's talk about something else, OK, cos there's an amazing coincidence here." "It's incredible, really." "When you think about it, it blows the mind." "Kansas - '80s band." "Toto - '80s band." "We're on a "Journey" - '80s band." "What have we here?" "Intruders?" "...'80s band." "Oh." "And when we see the witch - "Wham!" - '80s band." "OK." "And what's this?" "I can't believe my own evil eye!" "How did she get the silver shoes?" "I'm next in line to have 'em." "Oh, hi, sweetheart." "I just filled up your bottled-water bath." "Cancel it." "Change of plans." "I've just discovered some new talent, and it's right in our own backyard." "Isn't that right, poo-poo kiss?" "That's wonderful." "Hey, maybe you two could sing a duet." "Hm?" " A du-what?" " A du-what?" "What are you talking about, duets?" "She flies solo, Sal." "Right, sugar patch?" "If I want those silver shoes, I'll have to pry 'em off her cold, dead carcass." "What's that?" "You want one of her bones when I'm done with her?" "Oh, yes, of course, dear." "Yes!" "Bring me the magic silver whistle." "The man-eating wolves are going to have an early supper tonight." "Pardon me..." "The man-eating wolves are on a, um... ski vacation." "Oh." "Well, then bring me the magic trumpet of death." "I will send in the Crows of Despair instead." "The Crows of Despair are at a wedding." " Angry bees?" " Stomach flu." " Vicious squirrels?" " It's nut season." " Bloodthirsty cockatoos?" " Religious holiday." "All right." "Bring me my enchanted biker cap... again!" "Round up the Flying Monkeys." "There's only room for one diva in Oz, and that's moi!" "# Dun dun daaa!" "Ha." "All right, guys, quit shoving." "Front and centre." "The Flying Monkeys are ready to go, boss." "Fabulous." "I want the girl caught and captured." "If she resists... destroy her." "Really?" "Knock off a girl?" "I'm sorry..." "What do you see on my head?" "Enchanted biker cap." "And what does it mean?" "Your wish is our command." "Good." "And gas up my ride, too." "I wanna make sure you knot-heads don't screw up." "The witch!" "Well, well, well." "Looks like someone forgot to take out the trash." "Trash?" "Pretty big talk coming from a hog on a hog." "Ha ha ha." "Oh, so clever." "Such wit." "I know your type, missy." "You sweet young things come in with stars in your eyes, ready to show the world what you've got." "Well, now it's time to clear the stage for the real talent, cos the diva gig's a killer..." "and so am I." "Hey, you can't talk to my friend like that." "Oh, yeah?" "And who's gonna stop me?" "Um..." " He will." " Uh..." "Boo!" " It never worked on the crows either." " Capture the girl and the fur ball." "I'm in the mood for lion nuggets." "As for the others... shred 'em to pieces." " But why?" "They've done nothing to you." " Why, you ask?" "Why?" "I'll tell you why... in a song." "Hit it!" "# Maybe I need to spell it out, Dorothy Gale" "# This is my show Sorry, you fail" "# There's only room for one rock goddess in Oz" "# You've lost your bloom, poor thing, already a "was"" "# Pay attention, listen to moi" "# This TV special is mine, comme ca?" "# So you can leave the silver shoes at the door" " # Cos the diva's got the floor" " Look out!" "# The witch is in the house" " # The witch is in the house - # The witch is in the house" "# She's hot The witch is in the house" "# This is my scene, this is my set" "# I may be gorgeous, but I'm bad as they get" "# She's hot" "# You better run cos you ain't seen nothing yet" "# Watch out" "# The witch is in the house" "Two, three, four!" "Get 'em, boys!" "Come to Papa." "I'll stop 'em..." "# The eye, oh, no" "# The eye, eye, eye, eye" "# The eye sees all" "# The eye, eye, eye, eye" "# Here comes the eye!" "# The witch is in the house" "# The witch is in the house" " # Eye, eye, eye, eye - # The witch is in the house" " Leave them alone!" " # I'm taking the shoes" "# Audition's over and this time you lose" "# Look for all the gory details on the ten o'clock news" "# Watch out" "# The witch is in the house" "Watch out!" "The witch is in the house." "Hey!" "I can't see!" "I'm going to hyperventilate, OK." "I can't even see, OK." "I'm going to hyperventilate." "Whoo-hoo!" "Nice meeting ya, fellas!" "Too bad you went to pieces on us!" "Sal, let's go." "Time is money, huh?" "We're on the air in three, two..." "Bonjour!" "Witch of the West coming at you from my lair of evil." "Good news, fans." "In order to keep up with the Joneses," "I've decided to lend my talent to reality television." "Today, you'll see me do my hair, take my daily bottled-water bath, and as an added bonus..." "I'll try on some awesome footwear that will help me totally rule all of Oz." " I'm never giving you my shoes, witch!" " We'll see about that, won't we?" "Why me?" "I don't have the magic shoes!" "Why me?" "So, Dorothy, any last words before suffering the agony of "de-feat"?" "Wait, wait!" "Hold that!" "That's a great pun, honey." "Ow!" "Ow!" " Why are you poking me?" " We're tenderising you so you taste better!" "Oh, well then..." "He screamed good that time." "Are you sure you want to eat me?" "After all, I am a stand-up comic." " So?" " So?" "You should never eat the comedian." "They taste funny!" " Was that supposed to be a joke?" " Yes." "But seriously, it must be tough being a Flying Monkey." "Know why your motorbikes won't stand up on their own?" "They're two-tyred!" "Wacka, wacka!" "Oh, cos motorbikes have two tyres!" "Two tyres!" "It's funny on many levels." "OK, big dramatic ending, babe." "Here it comes." "Wait for it..." " What are you doing, Johnny?" " Hm?" "Oh, I just got this jacket cleaned." " Who here likes comedy magic tricks?" " Oh, I do!" "OK!" "I will need some keys." "Like those used to open cages." "Who's got the keys?" "Sweetums has the keys." "Will these keys do for your comedy magic act?" " Ah, they're perfect!" "Thank you!" " You're welcome." "OK, now everybody close your eyes and put your hands on the floor." "Now, say the magic words, "owah tafoo lyam" four times." "Owah tafoo lyam." "Owha tafool iam." "O what afool iam." "Oh, what a fool I am." "He's gone!" " That's comedy and magic!" " Yeah!" "Big finish, sweetheart." "In three, two..." "Oh, who let the cat out?" "Who?" "Who!" " I'll save you!" " Lion!" " Whoa!" " Oh, gosh." " Don't just stand there, get him!" " I am getting him." "In a nice wide shot with you in the foreground." " Oh, good." "Nice." " Hi, Mom!" "Excuse me, could I trouble you to kill someone for me?" "OK." "Whoa!" "# Calling all Munchkins, let's do lunchkins, uh..." "Come on, come on, come on." " What took you so long?" " Oh, ow!" "Oh!" "Sal, let's get this." " That tickled." "Take that." " You're ticklish?" "The big lug's ticklish!" "Tickle, tickle, tickle!" "All right, Alpha Team, crustacean emancipation." "Delta Team, come with me." "Disengage Dorothy." "All right, team leaders, isolate and secure these silver shoes." " You know, you're a pest." " Munchkin, actually." "And you know what I do to pests?" "You welcome us as part of an unconventional multispecies family?" "I kill pests!" "Until they're dead!" "Your little show's about to be cancelled." "All right, Gale." "This ends now, once and for all." " Bring it!" " Let's go!" " It's on!" " I'm ready!" " Come with it." " I..." "You..." "I'm out." "Let's just fight now." "Hiiii..." "Uh-oh." "Somebody's gonna get witch-slapped." "We're outta here." "...iii..." "And then, just as Dorothy and the Wicked Witch charge at each other..." "Bam!" "Blow-out fight scene." "The gals whip out these huge samurai swords, and they just tear it up!" "I'm talking kung fu!" "I'm talking walking on walls!" "I'm talking explosions everywhere!" "I'm talking Oz in flames!" "Burn, baby, burn!" " You digging it?" " Uh..." "Yeah..." "That sounds a bit violent for a family film." "OK." "OK." "Uh..." "Think, think, think, think..." "I can work with this, don't worry." "Think, think..." "I got it." "Dorothy... big, bad Dorothy... goes to kick the Wicked Witch..." " Are you ready?" " Yeah." " Ready for this?" "Here it comes!" " Yes!" "...in the face!" "Oh, now that we can afford!" "Yes!" "Hiiii ya!" "Hii-ya to you, too!" "That all you got?" "A bottled-water bath?" "What's next, a deadly pedicure?" "Why am I itching?" "What kind of water is this?" "Oh." "Oh, I..." "We most definitely filled it up with bottled water." "Right, Sal?" "Oh, yeah." "Right, Johnny. 100%%% ." "Ain't that right, Angel Marie?" "Oh, uh..." "Well, when we ran out of that stuff, I topped her off with a hose." "What?" "I told you to use only bottled water!" " Oh, no!" " Oopsy." " What a horrible way to..." " My bad." "I'm not melting." "I'm getting skinny!" "Oh!" "I'm getting skinny!" "# Ha-ha ha-ha-ha!" "I win!" "I win!" "What?" "Aw, nuts." "No!" "Uh..." " Should I cut?" " What?" "What?" "Yeah, cut." "Whoa!" "Hey!" "Fabulous performance, darling." "Fabulous!" "That's incredible!" "What a performance." "Unbelievable, ba... by." "Oh!" "No, sugar patch, how could it be?" "You were deathly allergic to tap water!" "Ugh!" "Oh..." " I don't think she can hear you, Johnny..." " I know she can't!" "No, baby, don't look." "Don't look." "Mama melted." "Ugh." "We must be strong." "Go to your happy place, you rotten little dog." " What does she got there?" " Got it!" "Her magic eye!" "What happened?" "The witch is no longer in the house, OK?" "She is down the drain." "We melted her." "Wait, why are you guys hugging me?" "You're her vile henchmen." "Vile?" "No!" "We were just a gentle band of motorcycle enthusiasts until the witch put us under an evil spell and enslaved us with her..." "her enchanted biker cap." "Enchanted biker cap!" "Since you wasted her, this hat rightfully belongs to you." "Give her the hat." "And now, we must obey any order you give us!" " Yeah." " Yeah, that's right." "First, we need to pick up some friends of mine." "Yeah!" " Oh, Dorothy!" " Dorothy!" "Thank goodness!" "Dorothy!" " You guys didn't think I'd forget you?" " No, but what happened?" " It would take too long to explain." " No, no, I explain." " What happened was, the witch..." " Flying Monkeys, put 'em back together." "Oh, great." "Ouch." "Hey, easy." "OK..." " Thank you." " You're all backwards." "Gee, I can see my rear end!" "I must be working out, huh?" "Flying Monkeys, take us to Emerald City." "We have an appointment with the wizard." "Come on, everybody!" "Come on!" "What are you doing here so... alive?" " With Flying Monkeys?" " We're here to see the wizard." " But you don't have an appointment." " This is our appointment." "No!" "No, you can't!" "No!" "The wizard won't..." "No, you can't do that." " You can't stop us now." " Ow!" " Open the door!" " Come on, guys." "Follow me." "We got the eye." "We want what you prom... ised..." " This is what I was afraid of?" " It's not even green." " What's going on?" " Wait, stop!" "Stop!" "You must wear the glasses or you will fry from the wizard's brilliance!" "Really?" "Cos... you're not frying." "Oh." "Well, uh... um..." "It burns!" "Oh!" "My face sizzles and cooks before your very eyes!" "Oh, the horror!" "The horror!" "Huh?" "Oh." "Um..." "Well..." "I guess they're not buying it, Beakie." "So, we must away." "Toodle-oo." "I am Oz." "The great and terrible!" "Jeepers, fellas, the joint is haunted!" " Yeah!" "Make like we're running away!" " It's OK!" "It's all right!" "Why do you seek me?" " Because we want what you promised!" " Yeah!" "Oh." "Dear me." "This is sudden." "Uh..." "Come back tomorrow during normal business hours - 8:30am and 5:30pm." "No way!" "You've had enough time already!" "Sí." "You better keep your promise or..." "I'll go cyclone in here!" "Hey!" " We're done here!" " Uh..." "Yeah..." " We can see you." " No, you can't!" "I'm invisible!" "Stop." "Seriously." "You're embarrassing yourself." "Oh..." "Oh, boy." "Hello." "So you're the wonderful Wizard of Oz?" "I'm a little afraid of heights." "Uh..." " Hi, how are ya?" "Good to see ya." " Hi." "Well, so, Francis Kornfine, at your service." "Let me see this!" "It says I'm from Hollywood, California." "And it says that I drive a tour bus." "This is more than a little disappointing." "So that's why you wanted the eye." "You were afraid the Wicked Witch would see you for what you really are - a big phoney!" "No, um..." "Yes." "Well, something like that." " You're a bad man." " No, I have to disagree." "I'm not a bad man." "I'm..." "But I'm a bad wizard." "I gotta tell ya, I never set out to trick anyone." "It's just, I got here and everybody assumed that I had this thing, that I was this all-powerful wizard." " Why would they think that about you?" " You know why?" "Because I could do this." " Oh, my goodness!" " Wow!" " Oh, do that again!" "Do that again!" " It's amazing!" "They're simple people but they're loving." "Did you ever tell anyone you weren't a wizard?" "No!" "One of the secrets of show business - you gotta give 'em what they want." "Then give us what we want!" "And explain how you turned into such a sexy chicken." "All right, I'll do it." "I'm not really a wizard, but I'll do it." "I'll give you - every one of you - what I promised." "Give me two hours." "Two hours." "Ladies and gentleman - and unisex penguins - live from Emerald City, it's the wonderful Wizard of Oz!" " Ah, thank you." "Thank you." " Oh, this is so exciting!" "Thanks." "Thank you." "Please." "Come on!" "Thank you." "Listen..." "I called you all together tonight so the good folks of Emerald City and Oz at large can... finally know the truth." "I..." "I am not who I appear to be." "You see, I'm just..." "an ordinary guy from Hollywood." "That's a beautiful place where people keep their word and a deal is always honoured." "You see, I made a promise to some brave folks, and I want to keep that promise in front of everyone!" "So... your wizard is gonna grant some wishes!" " Come on." "Come on!" " Oh, I love wishes!" "First of all, let's bring out... the lion." "Welcome, Mr. Lion." " I believe you asked for some courage." " Yes." "Yes, I did." "And courage you shall have." "This golden microphone of bravery will certainly end any debate as to who is really the king of beasts." "There you go." "Let me turn this on for you." " Whoa!" " Uh-huh." "Wow!" "I guess I do feel a little braver." "So, two ducks waddle into a bar." "Bartender says..." " Get off." " That's not what he says." " No, no, no." "Get off." " Oh, me." "Yeah..." "And now, ladies and gentlemen..." "Tin Thing." "Tin Thing, you asked for a heart, and thanks to my clever scientists at the Emerald City labs, your chest... will never be empty again." "This won't hurt." "Gosh!" "This is... this is so nice!" "What if there were someone to share that heart... with?" "Camilla!" "Oh, my darling!" "I've missed you so much!" "Aw!" "Aw!" "Oh, dar..." "Look who's filled out!" "I don't mean chubby." "I mean in a nice..." "Would you excuse us?" "Yes, take it offstage." "Let's not forget... the scarecrow." "Oh..." " Hi, guys." " Hey, Scarecrow." "Well, Mr. Scarecrow, you've asked for nothing more than a brain." "Now, from this day forth, your knowledge shall know no bounds." "Oh." "But, um... to grant your wish, I have to take your head off." "Uh..." "Could I think about it?" " No." "You have no brains." " Oh." "Good point." "Bring in the brains." "Thank you." "All right, quiet please." "I need absolute... concentration." " Shh, shh!" " Quiet!" "Shh!" "Drum roll, please." "What are you?" "Oh!" "This is surreal!" "Or should I say, cereal?" "And now you will be a great man." "For I have given you a lot of bran new brains!" "A-ha-ha-ha-ha." " That's funny?" " Excuse me." "Excuse me." " Oh, right down there, to the left." " Left." "Thanks!" "And finally, it's time for Oz's newest overnight sensation to sing." "My spotlight now belongs to Miss Dorothy Gale." "# It's a good life" "# A happy ending where you landed" "# It's a good life" "# Don't you love how it's turning out?" " # It's a good life" " Oh..." "# See what happens when you take your chances" "# It's a good life" "Stop!" "Stop the music." "I'm sorry, but this whole thing is a lie." "It's no different than those fake green glasses in Emerald City!" " Or that applause machine." " Oh!" "Oh, oh..." "You see, this wizard hasn't given you anything you didn't already have!" "I've never had such a shiny microphone before." "The point is, wizard or no wizard, you were already brave, kind and smart." "Well, gee, I didn't think I was thinking, but, come to think of it, I think I was thinking." "Huh." " Makes you think." " OK, I'm..." "I'm really upset." "Dorothy, you say I didn't grant your wish?" "But you're on television." "Millions hang on your every word." "Yes, I control the programming and nothing else is on, but... you are famous, Dorothy." "You're a star." "And that" " I gotta say it - that's... that's because of me." "You really want to grant my wish, wizard?" "Send me home, to Kansas, to my family." "Dorothy, you consider it done." "Really?" "Oh, thank you, thank you." "I knew you couldn't be completely useless." "When do we leave?" "Well, actually, you have to visit the fourth witch, Glinda, the Good Witch of the... of the South." "You gotta be kidding me!" "Another witch?" "Great." "How do I find this one?" "Sí." "Sí." "What freaky land we got to visit now?" "Tomorrowland, Adventureland, Canada..." "The wizard possesses a magic eye to... give us all the answer." "Dude, I know all about the magic eye." "I gave it to you, remember?" "Oh, yes." "Ah!" "There she is." "She's in Munchkinland." "Can you see that?" "She's..." "She's visiting her sister, Tattypoo, the Good Witch of the, um..." "North." "All right, guys, back to Munchkinland." "Oh, well." "You're not so scary." "Hmph!" "Yeah, this is it." "This is Munchkinland." "I've seen it in the postcards." "Welcome back, Dorothy." "I'm glad to see your quest for fame was such a triumph." "You're now the most talked-about diva in all the land." "I saw you on TV." "TV!" "I saw her on TV!" "Yes, I know." "Excuse me, but where can I find your sister Glinda?" " Here's your cattuccino, Glinda." " Right here, dear." " Where you goin'?" " Shoo, shoo, shoo." "Enchanté." "How is it we've never met?" "Hate to interrupt, but the wizard said you can help me get home." "It's true." "Just say goodbye to your friends and I will show you the way." "Well, guys, guess this is goodbye." "Aw!" " We're really gonna miss you." " What?" "You were the best boss we ever had." "I think it's time for you to be your own boss." "Oh, I don't believe you're gonna do this..." "I'm sorry, I'm not following." "The monkey gets the hat?" " The monkey gets the hat?" " The monkey gets the hat." "Huh." "Looks like this is finally it." "We must be brave, Dorothy." "Oh..." "Goodbyes always break my heart." "I love you guys." "I'll never forget you." "I'll never forget you, either." " Toto, you sure..." " No!" "Don't speak, my little Dorothita." "Just go!" "Don't look back, OK?" "Because if you do, I feel my tears would..." "So how do these things work, anyway?" "Is there a bus or something?" "No, it's your shoes." "They have the power to take you anywhere." "All you have to do is knock your heels together three times and command the shoes to take you wherever you wish to go." "I hope this works." "One, two, three!" "Take me home to Aunt Em!" " Bye, Dorothy!" " We'll miss you." "Hey, need any help with the early-bird rush?" "Dorothy!" "You're alive!" "Look at you!" "Man, when that twister hit and flew off with the house, well, we thought that you were... well..." " Where on earth have you been, Dorothy?" " And what are you wearing?" " What's wrong with my clothes now?" " Guess which refrigerator broke down..." "Don't worry, Uncle Henry." "I don't want to fight." "I just want to say... you were right." "Wanting to be a big star made me forget what I really love about singing." "When you're doing it right, I mean really singing, you don't notice where you are anyway." "I don't think I'm leaving Kansas for a while!" "Somebody will be sorry to hear that." "He's been in here every day asking about you." "And eating' up all the flowers." "Mr. Kermit?" "Oh, Miss Gale!" "I'm so glad that you're all right!" "We listened to your demo, and you're the best singer we heard anywhere!" " We're hoping you'll join our tour." " Oh, wow!" "I can't believe it!" "But..." "I can't leave now." "I just got home with my family." "Oh." "Well, OK." "Uh..." "Thank you for your time." "Um..." "There was that one other girl in Nebraska who was all right..." "Kermit, wait." "Don't leave yet." "OK." "Dorothy, when that wind picked up our house and blew it away, it gave me a whole new perspective on what home is really about." "If you want to go on tour and sing, I want you to go." "Because now I know you'll always be home with us, no matter where you are." "You mean it?" "Come on and get some, Kermit." "You're family now." "You guys are great." " Well, Kermit..." " Yeah?" " Guess I'm going with you!" " Great!" "Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dorothy Gale!" "# Ah-ha, whoa" "# Yeah, yeah, yeah" "# I got a feeling that we did something right" "# Everything looking up, future shining bright" "# Gotta get the message out, send it loud and clear" "# Closer than you might think." "Find it every day" "# Step back, you'll see you're part of a family" "# It's a good life" "A happy ending is where you landed." "# It's a good life" "Don't you love how it's turning out?" "# It's a good life" "See what happens when you take your chances?" "# It's a good life" " # Come on and find what I've found" " Good life!" "Good life!" "Oh, that's my niece!" " It's my niece." " That's my niece!" "# Yeah" "Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dorothy Gale!" "Yay!" "Yay!" "Mm-wah!" "Subtitles by FYI-Media"