"Look, people are lining up to get in." "That's right, Father." "Customers are aligning up..." "Lining up because Eric Matthews called a little lady named Holly Wood and arranged for all these nice people to meet TV's bear." "What show was he on again?" "Oh, I don't know." "Grizzly Adams, Gentle Ben, National Geographic." "It doesn't really matter." "See, this bear's been on TV." "He's famous." "People love that." "Excuse me, Mr. Matthews." "I'd like to take care of the business end up-front." "Oh, yeah." "Well, what did my partner and Miss Holly Wood agree on?" "$2,500." "That's a lot of money." "Well, it's not just any bear." "It's a TV bear." "Well, I mean, there are a lot of people outside, and if everybody leaves with a pair of socks," "I guess we're okay." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "The plan isn't to have those people come in here, is it?" "Well, yeah, that's the whole point of the plan is have all those people come in here, meet the TV bear, and, you know, buy stuff." "Buy lots of stuff." "Well, that's not going to happen." "You see, this bear can't be around people." "That's a TV bear." "Isn't it trained?" "You can't train a bear." "Eric, $2,500." "Fix this." "Now." "Okay." "Okay, I happen to have seen this very bear on an episode of Little House on the Prairie." "Well, sure, he's great with little children." "Okay, fine, then we can have the little children come in and play with the bear." "Oh, I wouldn't do that." "Didn't your partner fill you in on any of the particulars?" "No." "No, he didn't." "Well, first, we need another $2,500 for the female bear." "Eric, you cost me five grand." "Yeah, but, Dad, look, I mean, we got a bear." "It's a gentle, meek TV bear." "Now you've done it." "Ralph, no." "No, down." "Eric, get out of here." "Why?" "I work here." "Not anymore." "Not the shoe!" "Heel!" "Ow!" "Alan, this isn't the first time" "Eric has messed up at the store." "You've given him enough chances." "You had to let him go." "Well, that's what I did, Amy." "I let him go." "I don't want you to let Eric go." "I love Eric." "No, sweetie, he's not leaving the house." "I just fired him from work." "Would you ever fire me, Dad?" "Oh, never, princess." "I just hope Eric understood you." "I mean, he knows how much you love him." "You would never do anything to hurt him, but there is something called tough love, and he has to learn his lesson." "Well, Amy, I was tough." "I made it very clear to him he was fired." "Come on, Daddy-o, got to get to work early, get out that bear stink." "Whoa, whoa." "Eric, are you going to work?" "Uh, Mom, yeah." "Put a little food on the table, keep you in pretty things." "Let's go, Pops." "Oh, one thing." "One thing, before I forget." "I got to take an early lunch and then not come back at all, because I met a really nice girl and I'm going to have a second lunch with her." "Working for your dad is so great." "Eric, you're fired." "Uh, yeah, came up." "Let's go, Pops." "No, Eric, I'm serious." "You're fired." "You can't fire me." "You're the mama." "I work for the dada." "Ain't that right, Dada?" "Daddy?" "Da?" "You really don't help yourself, pal." "Here." "What's this?" "It's a..." "It's a list of colleges." "Yes, that is where I want you and Topanga to go." "Even if I'm not going to school, the three of us should still be together." "Okay, "University of Italy."" "Good old U of It." "Yep." "You guys hit the books." "You're studying hard." "Meanwhile, I'm out in the sun taking tourists around in my big canoe." "It's called a gondola." "And that is why you're going to college." "Wait, Shawn, Shawn, Shawn, Shawn." "You've worked too long to throw it all away now, okay, buddy?" "Why don't you take the SATs?" "I bet you'll do really well." "Fine, fine, I'll take your little test." "What's 10 minutes of my life, right?" "Ten minutes?" "Shawn, they take at least..." "Shawn, listen." "You know, I bet if you take Feeny's review course," "I bet you could knock them out in five, slugger." "No." "Too much school, too much Feeny." "Bye-bye." "I am going canoe shopping." "There are so many times I should've fired Eric, but I didn't." "I would have been admitting that I was a lousy boss." "Or worse, a lousy father." "Oh, Alan, how can you look at Cory and Morgan and think you're anything but the best father?" "Well, then why am I having such a difficult time with Eric?" "It's not like I did anything different with him." "We did everything different." "We both did." "I mean, he's our firstborn child." "We coddled him." "Oh, I didn't coddle him." "But Eric's very different than Cory and Morgan." "He needs to be protected." "You really think that's going to help him?" "Yes, I do." "You really think that?" "Yes." "Would you be willing to listen to someone else's opinion and not overreact?" "Eric is lazy." "George, that's my son you're talking about." "Mom." "Dad." "Feeny, you know the reason I signed up for your SAT prep course is to prep, possibly even review." "But you've gone way beyond that, haven't you?" "Too much work for you, Mr. Matthews?" "Oh, I'll do it." "I'm not afraid of you, Feeny." "You remember that while I'm in the kitchen working and watching you." "Mom, Dad." "We'll talk to him." "He shouldn't talk to you like that." "No, no, I like his determination." "Cory works hard for his grades." "And Eric?" "Eric could get passing grades in his sleep." "In fact, he did." "Which is a shame, because I'd be hard-pressed to come up with a handful of students who are brighter, wittier or smarter than Eric." "So you're saying that Eric is smart?" "Mmm-hmm." "Good." "See, Alan?" "Now we know we haven't come down too hard on him, and he is capable of reaching our expectations." "Why are you dressed in a security guard costume?" "It's not a costume." "It's my uniform." "I finally found my calling, law enforcement." "You proud of me?" "You took a job as a security guard?" "Why would you possibly want to do that?" "Oh, only for about 10 reasons." "One, walkie-talkie, two, partner, three, dog, four, partner." "Sometimes we switch partners." "Five, you want me to keep going?" "Six, I pack heat." "You carry a gun?" "Nope, a heater." "It gets cold out there in the shed." "Eric, you could do anything in your life." "Wait a second." "I don't get this." "Look, you fire me from one job, I go out, I get another job." "What do you want?" "Dad, get her off my back." "No, your mother is right." "We are tired of you taking the easy way out." "From now on, the free ride is over." "Oh." "Okay, good, Mom got to you, too." "That's great, that's great." "How about you, Mr. Feeny?" "What do you think?" "Am I taking the easy way out?" "Oh, God, not another question." "Yes, Eric, I do." "Ah." "Great." "That's great." "Well, I'd love to stay here and, you know, debate with you guys, but I'm late for work." "Oh, and another thing." "Don't wait up for me tonight." "I won't be coming home." "I'm moving out." "Okay, here he comes." "Okay, Cory, give me another one of those tough SAT questions." "Okay, here's a doozie." "Kept me up most of the night." ""Which of these ingredients" ""does not help you make mud?" ""Dirt," ""water," ""or turkey?"" "Turkey." "Correct." "Wow, Shawn, I didn't even know that one." "That came from Feeny's prep course?" "Well, it was only one of the tougher ones." "Let me see that book." "Uh, see, Mr. Feeny?" "Right here, after the question," ""Which is sweeter, sugar or salt?"" "Sugar." "Wow, two in a row." "Where are my glasses?" "See, what we're doing, Mr. Feeny, is we're just trying to show Shawn that through your review course, a student builds a certain level of confidence through a series of not-quite questions." "It's really this basic?" "Shawn, I don't want anyone misleading you." "My prep course involves a lot of hard work." "Oh, then I don't want to do it." "But it's fun." "Tell him, Mr. Feeny." "Tell Shawn about the carnival-like atmosphere of your prep course so that Shawn will join us." "No." "Come on, Mr. Feeny." "I mean, if Shawn doesn't get into college, he starts washing windows, playing lotto." "Then he loses his teeth, becomes a ward of the state, and moves in with you." "Well..." "If I tell him about the cake," "well, then everyone will want to take the class." "Cake?" "Yes, cake." "Delicious cake, actually, from the Westchester Bakery" "is where we get the cakes." "It's where we get them." "Really?" "What else?" "What, cake's not enough?" "Fine, uh..." "And then we have a talent show some nights." "Oh, this is amazing." "Cory, why didn't you tell me any of this?" "Mr. Hunter, in between the hoopla, there will be learning going on." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Cake, right?" "Yes, cake." "Thanks a lot, Mr. Feeny." "You did the right thing." "I suppose." "I mean, after all, what good is it if you can't get the butts in the seats?" "Hey, Dad." "Hey, Eric." "It's been a while, huh?" "About 12 hours." "Yeah, you know, it seems longer when you're out on your own." "Oh, Dad, this is my partner Ronny Patell." "Hi, it's good to meet you." "Nice to meet you, Ronny." "It's a very nice store you have here." "I admire anyone who runs his own business." "One day, I hope to do the same." "Yeah, Ronny's cool." "He's letting me crash with him for a while." "We're going to be roomies." "Eric told me about your little family crisis." "I'm very sorry to hear about the mother going insane and throwing people out of the house." "You know, Ronny, why don't you look around a little bit?" "Ah!" "You're mad at your mother?" "Yeah." "But you're not mad at me?" "No." "Well, you should be." "Because as much as you messed up, I messed up even more." "I should've fired you." "I should've fired you a million times." "Dad, Dad, ease up." "We're friends." "Eric, you're a goof-off." "Well, I won't be friends with you anymore." "You want to know when I started messing up?" "The day you were born." "Did you know that I was in the delivery room?" "The only thing I remember is that cute nurse who slapped me on the tushie." "I remember Dr. Hodges gave me these rubber gloves to put on to keep everything safe and clean." "So I put them on, and then you were born, and you were moaning and groaning like you do now." "And I did what every father does." "I counted fingers, I counted toes." "I looked at you, and you were healthy and vital." "And I was happy, and I kissed your mom." "Why are you telling me this?" "Because it's 20 years later, and I've just figured something out." "I've never taken off those gloves." "Hmm?" "I have been treating you with kid gloves your entire life." "And it's not your mom's fault." "It's not Feeny's." "It's mine." "All you did was love me." "Yeah, and I do." "And I love Cory, and I love Morgan." "But because you were the firstborn, I loved you differently." "I let you get away with stuff." "I let you take advantage of me, but I did a lousy job of preparing you for the world that is out there." "Now, one day, I'm not going to be around anymore, and you're going to be on your own." "Then what?" "I did not know the bosses required us to have a guard dog." "Well, actually, they don't, but I just figure with a beat as rough-and-tumble as John Adams High, we could use a little backup." "It does not appear to be very ferocious." "What?" "He's a trained killer." "Isn't that right, Poppy Seed?" "You're a trained killer, aren't you?" "Yeah." "Yes, you are." "All right." "Listen, I know this is a sensitive subject, Eric, but your mother, is she back from the insane?" "Oh, R.P., my mom's not insane." "And, actually, next time we talk, do you think you could kind of keep that between us?" "Ah!" "I understand." "Thanks." "So, Eric, while we wait for danger, will you help me with my studies?" "Yeah, sure, what do you got there?" "I'm trying to get into college, and this is the book that helps you prepare for the entrance exam." "Wait a second." "I thought you said that back home you were, like, an engineer or something." "Back home, I am an engineer, but, here, they don't know that." "I must start over, and I'm willing to." "Wait a second." "You've already gone to college, and now you want to go again?" "I know it's a lot of hard work, but anything of value is worth that hard work." "And in this country, there are so many opportunities." "Look at you, fulfilling your dream of doing this job." "Security guy." "Wait a second." "You think this is my dream?" "Well, it must be." "You are doing it." "Yeah, well, I mean, look at you." "You're doing it, too." "You're a security guy." "Oh, no, no, no." "I am an engineer, and soon, they will know it." "Okay, what was that?" "Up, Poppy Seed." "Up, Poppy Seed." "Okay, better, you pretend to be asleep and then spring into action to save me at the last second." "Come on, R.P. This is where your experience is needed." "Come on." "I got your back." "Okay." "Oh, hi, Mr. Feeny, okay." "You scared the hell out of me." "I scared you?" "You snuck up on me." "Oh." "You know him?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's fine." "Then I'll go back to my studies." "Okay." "All right, Mr. Feeny, I still got to do this by the book." "So what are you doing at John Adams High after school hours?" "SAT prep course, Mr. Matthews." "And judging from the hotbed of criminal activity raging out here," "I think your time would be better spent inside with us." "Take the class?" "Well..." "No, I don't think I'm going to do that." "What are you afraid of, Eric?" "I'm not afraid of anything." "No." "You're afraid of something, and it's stopping you." "Stopping me?" "From what?" "From becoming what we all know you're capable of being." "What I'm capable of, what I'm capable of." "You know something, Mr. Feeny, I'm always hearing that." "What I'm capable of." "I took the SATs last year, remember?" "I blew them." "You know, maybe I'm just not meant to be in college." "Maybe you're someone who gives up too easily." "What'll it be, Mr. Matthews?" "Who are you?" "What in heaven's name?" "Mr. Feeny, we've got a few issues to discuss with you." "Yeah!" "We just came from taking our SATs." "Yeah!" "How did you do?" "Yeah!" "That's why we're here, sir." "I mean, for more years than I care to remember, you have drove us nuts by filling our heads with dates and ideas and numbers and concepts." "Yeah, and with the last three weeks of that course of yours, drilling us, pushing us to the edge." "Yeah!" "And making me eat cake." "Five pounds right here, baby." "And now that it's all over and we've taken the test, we had to come here and tell you to your face." "Thanks a lot, man." "We finally understood why you pushed us so hard." "We're really glad you did." "Hi, Mom." "Hi, Eric." "You fired me." "I did." "Well, then I guess I deserved to be fired because I know how much you love me, and I know it must've been really hard for you to fire your son." "I'm just sorry I let you down." "Thank you, Eric." "And you, you said something wrong to me." "I was the good guy in all of this, and you turned it around, didn't you?" "Good for you." "See, you said to me that there would come a time where you weren't gonna be around anymore, and that's not so." "Eric." "No, no, no, Dad." "I remember everything that you taught me." "And I'm gonna turn around, and I'm gonna teach that to my children." "So, you see, Dad, you're always gonna be around." "Well, thank you, Eric." "And I remember that one of the things that you taught me was that I could be anything that I wanted to be." "Yes, I did." "Do you still believe that?" "Yes, I do." "If you don't take the easy way out and try as hard as you can." "Well, I hope you're right." "Because I tried as hard as I could." "SAT scores?" "You took the test?" "I did, and I thought that we should all you know, open it together." "Okay." "All right, here we go." "Now, I didn't take the easy way out." "I tried as hard as I could." "You tried as hard as you could?" "Yeah, I did." "Well, then, it's a good thing you're not working for your father anymore, or I'd have to fire you." "What?" "1120." "That's 200 points higher than last time, Eric." "I'm very proud of you." "I'm very, very proud of you." "I knew you could do it!" "I knew I could do it, too." "Yes!" "Mr. Feeny!" "Mr. Feeny!" "Mr. Feeny!" "Hi." "It's me, Eric." "What are you doing now?" "Well, I was sleeping." "It's something I've gotten accustomed to in the middle of the night." "That's cool." "Get dressed." "Are you crazy, man?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I am." "I got this book of colleges, and I need you to help me pick out a good one, okay?" "So, come on, get dressed." "Let's go." "First thing in the morning we'll go a-college picking'." "No, no, no." "You see, Mr. Feeny, I really need your help now." "Those spaces, they're filling up fast." "How about Penbrook?" "Well, actually, that's a very good school." "How about Harvard, any good?" "All right, put on the coffee." "I'll meet you in the kitchen." "All right." "Hey, Mr. Feeny." "What?" "I heard you told my parents you thought I was smart." "Just knowing you said that was worth about 1,000 SAT points."