"Studio 24 presents." "A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence." "The final part of a trilogy about being a human being." "Three meetings with death." "Meeting with death no. 1." "Meeting with death no. 2." " Hello." " Hi." "My mom is in here, I'm her eldest son." "Your siblings are in there, and you're welcome to join them." " Thanks a lot, I'm a little late, too." " No worries." "Thanks a lot." " Hello." " Hello." "How are things progressing?" "The doctor said nothing will happen tonight." "So we could go home, he said." "Okay." "What's this?" "The handbag?" "How did she get it?" " Who brought it here?" " I did." " Why?" " Mom wanted me to." " What do you mean, "wanted"?" " She wanted me to." "She thinks she can take the handbag with her to heaven." "Yes, she really wants to take it with her." " You look drunk." " And you're mean as always." "Well, well." "You know what's in that bag, don't you?" " Sure." " All her jewellery." "Dad's gold watch, wedding ring and cuff links." "And I know there's an envelope, too." "With the money she made from the car." " More than 70,000!" " Yes, I know." "There is no way." "We just can't leave it here." " You have to understand that?" " You're welcome to try." "I know you're going to heaven, Mum." "You were always kind, just like Dad." "He's there now, waiting for you." "He wasn't allowed to take his watch." "There you go." "You don't get to take this to heaven, Mum." " No, you don't." " It's not allowed." "You will get new jewellery in heaven!" "You don't get to take this!" "That's not the way things work!" "Meeting with death no. 3." " This doesn't look good." " No." "Is there any use calling for a helicopter'?" "There's no use." "He's gone." "We've been trying to revive him for half an hour." "There's just no way." "He's dead as a stone." "Well, then, we'll need a stretcher, and then take him to a vacant cabin." " If there is an empty cabin, that is." " Yes, there is." " May I ask a question?" " Go ahead." "What do we do with this now'?" " What do you mean?" " Well, he's already paid." "Good question." "We can't charge for it twice." " We'll have to try giving it away." " Yes, all right." "Does anybody want this?" "A shrimp sandwich with a draught beer, for free!" " I can take the beer." " Go ahead, sir." "Thanks a lot." "YES." "I'm happy to hear you're doing fine." "I'm happy to hear you're doing fine!" "YES." "Well, hello." "Maybe you recognise me, or some of you might." "I'm a sea captain, or rather I used to be." "As a matter of fact, I captained one of our larger ferries for nearly 15 years." "But not any more." "I had to quit, because I felt dizzy every time we left shore." "A form of seasickness, you would say." "So now I'm here." "The thing is my sisters husband, my brother-in-law as they call it, is ill." "He's a hairdresser." "This is his salon." "I've promised to help him run it until he feels better." "Try to, at least." "I learned to cut hair in the military a bit." "It's been many years now, but I do remember some of it." "I'll try at least." "Do the best I can." "What more can you do?" "Hello?" "Yes." "YES." "YES." "YES." "I'm happy to hear you're doing fine." "I said, I'm happy to hear you're doing fine!" " Hello, Nathan." " Hello." " How are things?" " I shouldn't complain." " There are people worse off." " That's true." "I thought you were getting a haircut?" "But you haven't?" " Maybe not." " Why not?" " I don't want to talk about it." " Why not?" " I don't feel like it, all right?" " Why are you so angry?" " I'm not angry." " Sure you are." "What have I done wrong?" " You're acting like a cry baby again." " What have I done wrong'?" "What's happened?" "Why is he sad?" "It's nothing." "He's just a damn cry baby." " Could I buy him a beer, perhaps?" " No, he shouldn't drink beer right now." "We're off on a customer visit." " What line of work are you in'?" " We're in the entertainment business." "We sell novelty items." "We want to help people have fun." " So what funny stuff do you have?" " Vampire teeth." "Vampire teeth?" "They've been popular a long time now." "We also sell these laugh bags." "It's a classic." "Then, there's a new item we have a lot of faith in." " Should I show him?" " Yes, I think so." "Uncle One-Tooth." "Hello, Ove Bergius here." "I just wanted to check with you." "I'm wondering if there might have occurred a misunderstanding." "That I've misinterpreted the date and quite possibly the time, too." "I suspect this may well be the case." "I'm outside the restaurant, and I've been in and asked them several times if someone has called about a cancellation." "But they say no one has." "I'm sure it's a misunderstanding on my pan." "That's probably it, unfortunately." "Could you possibly confirm that I'm the one who's made a mistake and got the date wrong, and maybe the time as well." "You can leave a message on my answering machine in case I don't pick up." "I'm so sorry if this is an inconvenience to you." "I wouldn't want that." "Thanks a lot." "Bye." "Yes?" "We would very much like to show you some of our products." "Okay." "One of our best selling items for a while now are these vampire teeth with extra long fangs." "Could you show him, please?" "That's enough." "That's enough." "He's seen them." "Why are you so angry'?" "He's a little sensitive." "No, I'm not, it's you being mean all the time." "Then there's the true classic, the laugh bag." "It brings out a smile at parties, either at home or in the office." "We want to help people have fun." "Then there's a new item we have a lot of faith in." "Uncle One-Tooth." "YES." "Excuse me." "How much is this one?" "Listen, guys, I don't think this is for us, really." "But thanks for stopping by." "Thank you." "You have no messages." "Would you like another one?" "Would you like another one?" " Would you like another one?" " Yes, of course I do." " He's hard of hearing, the poor man." " He should be grateful." "That way he won't have to listen to all the bullshit." "So you're in that kind of a mood today, Gunnar'?" "What else could I be?" "Well, he's been a regular here for more than 60 years, I think." "That's a lot of shots." "Yes, quite a few." "What would life be without a shot of MO?" " A horrible thought." " Damn straight." "A shilling for a shot glass is the price you have to pay." "When you drink at Limping Lotta's bar in Gothenburg." "A shilling for a shot glass is the price you have to pay." "When you drink at Limping Lotta's bar in Gothenburg." "We with pockets without shillings." "How can we pay if we are wining." "When we drink at Limping Lotta's bar in Gothenburg." "How can we pay if we are wining." "We with pockets without shillings." "When we drink at Limping Lotta's bar in Gothenburg." "With kisses you shah pay if you are willing." "When you drink at Limping Lotta's bar in Gothenburg." "With kisses we shall pay since we are willing." "When we drink at Limping Lotta's bar in Gothenburg." "With kisses we shall pay since we are willing." "When you drink at Limping Lotta's bar in Gothenburg." "With kisses we shall pay since we are willing." "When we drink at Limping Lotta's bar in Gothenburg." "Good night, Arne." "Good night, Arne." " What?" " Good night!" " What?" " Good night!" "I'm happy to hear you're doing fine." "I'm happy to hear you're doing fine." "Yes." "Yes." "Do you want to say anything?" "You can tell them I'm also happy to hear they're doing fine." "He says he's also happy to hear you're doing fine." "YES." "I caught it!" "Yes, that's correct." "On April 16th you received two 10-packs of vampire teeth, standard size, and three 10-packs with extra long fangs." "Yes, that is correct." "You also received six Uncle One-Tooth." "I see three." "Have you sold the others?" "Yes, we have." "That was a while ago." "And we have not received payment." "Why not?" "I'm not sure." "Just a moment." "I'll ask my husband." " He says you'll have it by next week." " We don't believe that." "Nah." " We've sent four reminders." " Yeah." "And we've called your answering machine over and over again." " We won't accept this." " Nah." "Wait, I'll talk to my husband again." "Just make them go away!" "This won't do!" "We won't accept this." "I have no money!" " I have no money!" " Then we'll take the masks back." " We will take the masks." " Please, don't" "I have no money!" "Now it's Wilma's turn." "Welcome, Wilma." "Stand right here." " How do you feel?" " Fine." "Good." " What are you doing for us?" " Reading a poem." "You're reading a poem?" "Okay." " And who taught you that?" " I did myself." "You learned the poem yourself?" "That was very good of you." "What's the poem about?" " A bird." "It's about a bird?" " What kind of bird?" " A pigeon." "About a pigeon." "And what did the pigeon do?" " It sai on a branch." " It sat on a branch?" " And what did it do on the branch?" " It rested and reflected." "It rested and reﬂected?" " What did the pigeon reﬂect on?" " The fact that it had no money." " What was that?" " The fact that it had no money." "That it had no money?" "Gosh." " What happened then?" " It flew home." "And then it ﬂew home?" " I see." " Then the poem ends." "And then the poem ends?" "That was a beautiful poem." "I say we give Wilma a warm applause!" " So what the hell do you want?" " We're sort of lost." "What?" "Turn the music down." " What was that?" " We're lost." " What do you mean, "lost"?" " We don't know where we are." "No?" "We're looking for a street address that doesn't exist." "We have the directions, but they seem completely off." "Yeah, it's all wrong." "We're looking for a store called Party." "Yeah, the owner's name is Bengtsson." "He owes us money." " Yeah, 13,800." " Really?" "What line of work are you in?" " We're in the entertainment business." " Yup." "We sell novelty items." "We want to help people have fun." " So what kind of stuff are you selling?" " We can show you." "All right." "One of our best selling items for a while now are these vampire teeth with extra long fangs." "Then there's the classic, the laugh bag." "Known to bring out a smile at parties, both at home or in the office." "We want people to have a good time." "Then there's a new item we have a lot of faith in." "Uncle One-Tooth." "You there, get out." "You!" "No women in the establishment." "Out!" "No women in the establishment!" "Listen up, God damn it!" "No women in the establishment!" "Out!" "Out, damn it!" "Provosts, forward!" "Let that man taste the whip." " Show respect to His Majesty the King!" " That's right!" " His Majesty the King is thirsty." " Very thirsty." " His Majesty wants something to drink." " That's right." " Beer perhaps?" " No." "His Majesty prefers water." "Excuse me, sparkling water?" "Mineral water'?" "Affirmative." "His Majesty the King would appreciate it if that young man filled his glass." "That was good." "Splendid." "Now that sly Russian will receive a proper walloping." "That he will." "Yes, Your Majesty." "His Majesty thinks a man as young and handsome belongs on the battlefield." "He can sleep in the king's tent." " Captain Bjalke!" " Yes, Lieutenant Colonel!" "His Majesty the King wishes to hear a song!" " Carry out!" " Yes, Lieutenant Colonel!" " Lieutenant Rask!" " Yes, Captain!" " Carry out marching song!" " Yes, Captain!" "Company, marching song!" "One, two, three, four!" "The army of Charles XS!" "Is a hundred thousand strong." "As he's marching through smoke on his road so long." "Why can't we come in?" "Only tenants have access." "Those are the rules." "Sorry." "But here they are." " Hello." " Hello." " I'm sure you know why we are here." " Yes." "Whose signature is this?" "It's mine." "Do you understand what it is you've signed?" "Well, yes." "It's an agreement." "A contract." "You're required to declare sales every month." "You haven't." "Why not'?" "We've had some bad luck lately." "My partner had an accident." "He stepped out in the street without looking and got hit." "By a cyclist." "He hasn't been able to walk." "And I haven't been in the best of health either." "We're not interested in your health." "We want payment for our goods." " We're a bit short of money." " Yup." " We've been down on our luck." " Yup." "We've been dealing with people who don't pay." "Just like you two bastards!" " Can you open the door?" " You're not getting in here." " Why not?" " You're drunk." " I haven't been drinking." " I can smell it a mile away." "I was just going in for a quick nap." "You'll have to come back when you've sobered up." "You know the rules." "I haven't had a drop all day!" "Damn." " Rules are meant to be followed." " Exactly!" "Pay what you owe us." "You have 14 days, or it won't be fun and games any more!" " Understand?" " Yes." "Or it won't be fun and games any more!" "Or it won't be fun and games any more!" "Understand?" "I was supposed to attend a lecture tonight." "Major-General Sandberg was supposed to talk on the orderly withdrawal." "But when I got there, it was cancelled, of course." "I left home, early, of course" "because I wanted to catch the 7:22 bus." "It started raining, of course," "and I had no umbrella, of course, so I decided to hurry home and get it, of course," "I thought it would be there," "but it wasn't, of course." "On my way to the bus stop it started raining even more, and I got soaking wet, of course." "When I got to the bus stop," "I saw the bus leaving, so I missed it." "Of course." "So I had to start walking, of course." "When I arrived, not a single person was there, of course," "just a note on the door saying it was cancelled." "And that was a shame." "Of course." "I'm happy to hear you're doing fine." "I'm happy to hear you're doing fine." "Features fine as all that I hold true." "Skin as white as snow Loveliest I know." "Placed heron this earth for me and you." "Finally we heaven's grace attain." "Meeting mother, father dear again..." "Rosy cheeks and eyes of deepest blue." "Features fine as all that I hold true." "Skin as white as snow Loveliest I know." "Placed heron this earth for me and you." "Finally we heaven's grace attain." "Hi." "What are you doing?" "Listening to this." "It's so beautiful, but horribly sad, too." "What's horrible?" "What he's singing at the end." "That's he's going to heaven to meet his parents." "That's horrible." " Then why listen to it?" " I can't help myself." "I've tried, but I can't." "You need to go and see the doctor." "This is not normal." " I'm actually worried about you." " So am I." "What's going on?" "He can't get this song out of his head." " Do you feel troubled, Jonathan?" " Yes." "What's troubling you?" "That I will have to meet my parents again." "I don't understand." "My parents were very kind, but I don't want to meet them again in heaven." "Do you have to?" "I hope I don't have to." "Shut the door if you're playing music this late." "There are people here who are getting up early for work tomorrow." "In a tiny cabin we will stay." "Spend our lives so peaceful day by day." "Teach our children dear King and God to fear." "We will have the best of times I say" "I've come to realise something." "I realise I've been greedy all my life." "Ungenerous." "And that's why I've become so unhappy." "I've been greedy all my life." "Ungenerous." "And that's why I've become so unhappy." "Show respect to His Majesty the King!" "His Majesty the King needs to use your bathroom." " Where is it?" " The green door, over there." "Your Majesty, allow me to inspect it." " Your Majesty, I'm afraid it's taken." " Too bad." " Half the kingdom is lost." " Yes, Your Majesty." "If we had only had more horses." "And if it hadn't rained..." "It rained?" "Maybe not." "But it could have." "You never know what that Russian is up to." "He armed himself in secret, that sly Russian, or we would have beaten him." "He armed himself in secret." "He must have." "Is that so?" "You were widowed at Poltava." "You were widowed at Poltava." "A widow's veil was your gift." "You were widowed at Poltava." "A widow's veil was your gift, too." "You were widowed at Poltava." "Widows' veils were your gifts." "The army of Charles XII was a hundred thousand strong." "The army of Charles XII was a hundred thousand strong." "As he marched through smoke on his mad so long." "What now'?" " "What now?"" " Yes." "I'm the one who's hurt." "And I'm supposed to wait for you?" "No, what do you mean?" "You're so slow." "You look like you're sleeping while you walk." "You walk like a goddam zombie." "Like this." "No, I don't." "I walked like this." "Casually." "Whatever I say, you contradict." " No, I don't." "Now you did it again." "You do it all the time!" "I'm getting bloody tired of it." "And you have no business sense." "All we have are debts." " But it was your idea." " My idea?" "What the hell does it matter?" "You have no business sense anyway." "I'm so damn tired of all this crap." "I don't want to do this any more." "But it was your idea!" "But it was your idea!" "But it was your idea!" "But it was your idea!" "But it was your idea!" "She had a stone in her shoe." "She had a stone in her shoe." " Yes, I saw that." " That was nice." "What's nice about a stone in your shoe?" "It was nice when she took it out." "Pardon me for asking, but could I interest you in some novelty items?" "I have vampire teeth you can have at half price." "You have no messages." "Jonathan." "Jonathan." "Listen, I'm sorry." "Very sorry." "Can you hear me?" "I'm sorry." "I've been mean." "I know that." "I regret it, Jonathan." "I regret it a lot." "Forgive me, Jonathan." "Can you forgive me'?" "It would make me happy if you did, Jonathan." "I want us to be friends again." "You're the only friend I have, Jonathan." "Otherwise, I'd be so lonely." "That can't be." "We have to stick together." "You've been mean." "I know, Jonathan." " But I won't be from now on." " Good." "We should get some sleep now." "So we can do big business tomorrow." "Good night." "Can you be quiet down there?" "There are people here who are getting up early for work tomorrow." "Today I feel kind." "Damn kind." "YES." "Well, here we only have three above zero." "YES." "I'm happy to hear you're doing fine." "I said, I'm happy to hear you're doing fine." "YES." "What now'?" "What's wrong with you?" " I thought of something horrible." " Really?" " Something horrible." " Really?" "And I was involved." " Involved in what?" " That horrible thing." "Explain yourself." "Have you been dreaming?" " Was it a dream?" " I'm not sure." "But it felt like it had happened." "That's what scares me." "Horrible!" "And no one has asked for forgiveness." "Not even me." "No one has asked for forgiveness." "So what happened?" "It's so horrible I don't dare tell." "Then don't, you stubborn fool." "I can't make sense of you." "We're supposed to do business tomorrow, we've decided." "You want to help people have fun, right?" "Yes, I know." "Cry baby." "Is it right using people only for your own pleasure'?" "Is it right using people only for your own pleasure'?" "What the hell are you doing?" "Is it right using people only for your own pleasure'?" "I don't understand what you're getting at." " He's being a little philosophical." " All right." "But should we be discussing these things in the middle of the night'?" "There are people here who are getting up early for work tomorrow." "Good night, then." "Good night." "And then it's Wednesday again." " Is it Wednesday today?" " Yes." " Is it Wednesday today?" " Yes." " I was certain it was Thursday." " But it's not." " No it's not!" " No!" "But it felt like Thursday." "You can't feel what day it is." "That's impossible." "You have to keep track of that!" "Yesterday was Tuesday, today is Wednesday and tomorrow is Thursday." "If you can't keep track of that, chaos will reign." "That's right." "And then it's Wednesday again." "Bye."