"[scat singing]" "This show is best viewed with sugar-free treats." "[indistinct chatter]" "Mighty fine acorn collecting, Scaredy." "Why, thank you, Scaredy." "Aw, hello." "May I have an acorn?" "Uh, sure." "Uh, how about now?" "Trade?" "Yeah, go for it." "Oh, acorn!" "Whoa!" "Heh heh!" "Feather so tickly...ha ha!" "Presto!" "Paddy:" "Whoa!" "Coming through!" "Today's nearly as hot as I am." "[kiss, kiss] [chuckling]" "Ready for a super-awesome trick?" "I call it" ""The Stunning Paddy."" "[giggling]" "It's my favorite because I get to watch myself do it." "[giggling]" "Feather tickles... stop it!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "D'ah!" "Ah!" "Whoa!" "Ah!" "Wait a--whoa!" "Yaa!" "Yeow!" "Whoa-oh!" "Ah!" "[gasps]" "Paddy:" "Aah!" "Huh?" "Help!" "Abracadab" "Aah!" "[laughter] [coughing]" "Oh, clam up!" "Nothing I hate more than the laughter of children!" "[Scaredy laughs]" "Are you OK?" "Ha-ha-ha-oh!" "It is on!" "[stammering]" "What--what's on?" ""What's on?" ","" "he says." "Prank war:" "that's what's on." "But I don't want a prank war!" "Should've thought of that before you started one by dumping your acorns in my way." "It was an accident!" "That was no accident." "I know the "Feather" "Acorn-Magician-Kite" "Prank" when I see it." "Just watch your back, squirrel breath!" "[coughing] [kids laughing]" "Knock it off!" "Scaredy:" "It just seems like a weird insult... a squirrel should have squirrel breath." "[Dave laughs]" "Are you eating another" "Willy's Mammoth Pudding Pail?" "Who can resist the sweet, delicious flavor of lard?" "And it comes with a spovel... part spoon, part shovel." "Spovel!" "Mildred on P.A.:" "Emergency phone call for Scaredy, line one." "Eh!" "Emergency?" "!" "This is Scaredy Squir" "Paddy:" "Yeah!" "Take that, squirrel feet!" "[burps loudly]" "Boy, he pranked you delicious." "Whatcha got planned for him?" "Nothing." "Do you know how many noses are broken every year from pie-in-the-face jokes gone wrong?" "Both: 17." "How did you" "Pranks are dangerous." "As long as I don't prank him back, he'll stop doing it." "Please don't lick my face." "Aha!" "[groaning] [shrill voice]" "I can barely walk, but I'm taking the high road." "[clap, clap]" "Waah!" "I've been robbed!" "I'll check the other rooms!" "I'll call the goat police." "[bleating]" "Ah!" "Wah!" "Gah!" "Everything is gone in the" "Yep." "Nothing missing, no." "[Goat bleating on phone]" "Uh-huh." "That's right." "Paddy must've--ow!" "Oh, the P-Man is on fire!" "Later, squirrel knuckles!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Pizza should be here in 30 minutes." "I got double cheese, double sauce, double toppings, and double dough." "It's gonna cost double." "That's it!" "Now it is on!" "What about the high road?" "I'm gonna do this" "Scaredy style." "Scaredy:" "And each successful practical joke earns a sticker." "Mammoth Pudding coming at ya!" "I'll log the pranks in complete detail into the game journal for posterity and future referencing." "First one to 10 wins!" "Questions?" "Just one:" "why does my caramel pudding smell like broccoli?" "[sniffing]" "Fire me up another sticker, would ya?" "Appreciate it." "Later, squirrel knees!" "All right, then, it's go time!" "Yes!" "You can't see me right now, but I'm hanging my head in shame." "Ha ha ha!" "Just the usual shampoo and a blow-dry, Chantelle." "Wake me up when you're done, sweetheart." "Eh, voila!" "Aah!" "Grrr!" "I used beetroot, which naturally smoothes split ends, and it'll be back to normal after 20 washes!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Wow!" "Ooh!" "Ha ha!" "That could've been the floor!" "[whistling]" "Hold on now." "Beautifying goggles." "Be 53% more beautiful." "[growling]" "Me-ow!" "Hey, Paddy, do you like spaghetti?" "Too bad..." "I made oatmeal!" "Please wash and return those goggles." "Scaredy:" "It's almost all tied up.." "9 for Paddy, 8 for me!" "If Patty gets one more prank, he wins." "Better not slip up." "Oh, don't worry, heh-heh." "I won't be the one slipping... 'cause they're banana peels." "Kind of a classic." "Slippery..." "I'm gonna stop now." "[yawning]" "Ow!" "No!" "Ha-ha!" "Ouch!" "What?" "Ooh!" "No!" "Way-ah-ha!" "Can't go wrong with the classics." "Tie game!" "Yeah!" "I'll get ya, squirrel guts!" "The tie will be broken by moi!" "Your oven timer's gonna go off in 7 minutes." "I made banana loaves sweetened with honey!" "[Scaredy laughs]" "Eh!" "All tied up!" "Scaredy!" "What happened to you?" "You!" "You happened to me!" "Your banana peel prank broke my leg!" "My, uh, lola-furla bone is all, uh, busted." "I'm gonna be in this cast for a month thanks to your prank, squirrel ears." "I can't believe it!" "I got so caught up in the game," "I forgot that the first rule of having fun is safety!" "Come stay with me." "I'll take care of you." "It's the least I can do." "Well, it, uh, it won't make up for what you've done." "But if it'll make ya feel better..." "It really would!" "Fine!" "I get the bed, you get the couch." "I like the fruit punch, and you better have cable, and chips...salty with a little sweetness." "[panting]" "Wasn't the wheelbarrow a good idea?" "I am just full of good ideas." "Heh heh." "You--you sure are, Paddy." "Maybe we oughta move a little faster, huh?" "Paddy:" "Scaredy!" "I need you!" "You dropped the remote again?" "Hey, if my leg weren't broken, I could get it myself, but..." "So that's everything?" "[gulp] [gulp] [gulp] [stomach churns] [chuckles] [toilet flushing]" "Paddy:" "Scaredy, I'm done!" "Scaredy:" "I don't know how much longer I can handle this." "Paddy made me read to him all night... while he slept!" "I'm on call 24/7!" "You did break his leg." "I know, and I feel horrible about it, but now he wants me to throw him a party." "Oh!" "Is it his birthday?" "No!" "It's a "Get Well Soon," "Gorgeous" party." "Paddy on walkie-talkie:" "This is Broken Wing looking for Leg Breaker." "Come in, Leg Breaker." "Can we please pick different code names?" "Paddy on walkie-talkie:" "The ice in my cola has melted." "I miss the sweet tinkling when I swirl my beverage." "Paddy, I'm at work." "I can't just lea" "Paddy on walkie-talkie:" "I would get my own ice, but..." "Fine!" "I mean, fine." "I'll be right there." "Gotta go." "Can I have a code name?" "How about" "The Spovelled Avenger?" "[TV playing] [snickering] [gasps]" "He's faking it." "I knew it!" "This is just one big practical joke!" "Oh, no!" "That means Paddy won." "No, not until he reveals that it's a prank... [gasps] which he's probably gonna do at the party!" "[gasps]" "He's been making me plan his victory party!" "[gasps]" "I like to gasp, too." "Before he gets a chance to reveal his prank," "I'll super prank him and win the game." "Oh, boy!" "Do it!" "Do it!" "Do it!" "I'll need pudding, lots and lots of pudding." "[applause]" "Heh heh!" "I can't wait to see the look on Paddy's face when I win the game in front of everyone." "[gasps]" "He's getting ready to speechify!" "Citizens of Balsa City, hello." "Get in position." "I'd like to thank everyone for still finding me beautiful because..." "I really am." "And here comes the squirrel that broke my leg." "[booing]" "Sweet, sweet, maimed Paddy," "I have a very special surprise for you." "Oh." "Well, I--huh." "I guess I should say something." "Oh, not before I do." "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Hey, hey, what's going on?" "[gasping]" "Uh, I'm cured?" "Now, Dave!" "See?" "He never really broke his leg!" "Ha!" "Prank number 10!" "I win!" "[cheering]" "Why, I oughta--whoa!" "Ow!" "My leg!" "It is broken for real this time!" "[jeering]" "No, no!" "Wait!" "No, that was an accident!" "I'm so sorry." "You're a monster!" "You hurt my beautiful, beautiful body!" "I told him not to do it." "Scaredy:" "I feel awful." "I'll totally take care of you until you're better." "Let me take care of you, please?" "Paddy:" "Ow!" "No!" "Stay away from me!" "Stay away!" "Whoo-hoo!" "We did it, Scaredy!" "You won the contest!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Not appropriate, Dave." "Not appropriate." "Whoo-hoo!" "[laughing]" "Ahh, whoo!" "[humming]" "Why are making that way over here?" "Because, Dave, a toilet should be kept far away from food." "Hmm, must have a quarter in here somewhere." "Oh, maybe I left it in my pants." "Oh, come on!" "OK, I'm going in!" "Hey, my third-grade report on killer snails." ""D"?" "That Miss Wilson was such a meanie!" "No more quarters!" "What do I do?" "Anything I can do to help?" "There's nothing anyone can do!" "But, Dave, I have a" "Wait!" "I've got quarters at home in my porcu-bank!" "Dave, wait!" "[sniffing]" "Here, porcu-bank!" "Here, boy!" "Stop." "Think." "You probably put it somewhere safe." "Oh, the safe!" "Yes!" "Aah!" "Bad porcu-bank!" "Bad!" "Ow!" "[wailing]" "Ow!" "OK, that's ridiculous." ""Remember to get more quarters."" "Dave:" "Whaaat... nooow?" "!" "What am I gonna do without her?" "[crying]" "[crying]" "Hey!" "Haven't seen that montage in a while." "I'm not done yet." "Sorry." "OK, I'm going in!" "That last one was today." "[crying]" "It's OK." "By tomorrow, everything will be fine." "[Scaredy hums] [toilet flushes]" "Oh, Buck, that's not--agh!" "Hey, do you mind?" "A little privacy here?" "Hey, Scaredy, qua-qua-quarters knocking, knocking." "Wh-who?" "Ah!" "Shiny thing!" "My eyes!" "My eyes!" "Wow!" "Hey, Buck." "How's it going?" "Yo." "That's not a real toilet." "Scaredy, look!" "It just showed up at my door!" "[giggling]" "I just opened the door and there it was:" "a briefcase filled with perfectly shined quarters arranged systematically according to the" "Hey, it was you!" "Maybe not." "Why would you say" "There's a note on the case that says," ""Lift with your knees."" "Buck:" "Sounds like you," "Scaredy." "Fine, it was me!" "The important thing is that you can go back to riding Bertha." "But I can't just take money from you, Scaredy." "That'd be like stealing from someone who was trying to give me free money." "Buck:" "Oh, great!" "There's no toilet paper!" "Scaredy:" "Dave, I got it!" "You need a job!" "How is that going to help?" "If you have a job, you "get paid"..." ""in money."" "Quarters are money." "Why didn't you say so?" "OK, here we go:" ""Bank teller wanted."" ""Scuba instructor"?" ""Hot yoga salesman"?" "How about a job as a seashell salesman by the seashore?" "Me sell seashells by the seashore?" "No way." "Not today." "I couldn't do it anyway..." "I hate rhyming." "Last one: "Wanted, professional caretaking technician" ""for an esteemed elderly goat." "Each task pays one quarter"!" "I will get that gob!" "Job." "OK!" "Aren't you coming with me?" "I have a job." "Then couldn't you just give me some quarters?" "Um, I tried that, and you" "Right!" "Right, right, right." "Yep." "Right." "Come closer so I can get a look at ya." "Closer!" "My eyes ain't what they used to be." "A little bit closer, sonny!" "Come on!" "Closer!" "Oh, there you are." "Why is your face so flat?" "I want my employees to do whatever" "I say, but I don't like a yes-man!" "Whatever you say." "You're the boss." "Good!" "I don't want any arguments." "No worries:" "I hate arguing." "Not more than me." "you don't." "I don't know." "I might." "Are you arguing with me?" "!" "Oh, no!" "I think I am!" "Good..." "I love arguing." "But you said you hated it." "Never did." "Prove it!" "OK." "You're hired!" "Yes!" "This is great!" "Now go put some tea on!" "Put some tea on what?" "The stove!" "OK, but I'll have to make it first." "Oh, you're making me mad already!" "I can't stand how much" "I like you!" "And all I'm saying is, there should've been a sign or something." "Hey, how's the glamorous new job?" "Not so great." "That grumpy old goat sent me here to buy milk." "Dave, just do what he says." "He's your boss." "But he says he doesn't want a yes-man." "Doing what he says doesn't make you a yes-man, it just" "Nester:" "Scaredy!" "Yes, sir!" "Get back to work now!" "Yes, sir, nice sir, sir!" "I'll be back soon, pretty lady." "I'll be back-- [sobbing]-- real soon." "This milk feels warm!" "I like my milk cold!" "It was sunny outside." "If it's sunny, you carry the milk like this." "See?" "Now the elements can't get to it." "Heat." "Cold." "Wind." "Rain." "Volcanic eruption." "Mardi Gras!" "You are freaking me out, goat." "I'm right!" "Say it... or would you rather argue about it?" "I know you love to argue, but" "No, I don't!" "But you said you did." "Never did!" "Prove it!" "Goat's voice:" "Are you arguing with me?" "Dave's voice:" "Oh, no!" "I think I am!" "Goat's voice:" "Good..." "I love arguing!" "Why do you have that?" "Sometimes I get great ideas and" "I record them so I don't forget." "Oh, me too!" "Consider firing the skunk." "[grunting]" "Buy smaller tape recorder." "You're done for the day." "Be here tomorrow at the right time, or there's gonna be some arguing!" "Uh, what time is the right time?" "Not telling." "Right." "That's fair." "Scaredy:" "So he likes to argue... big deal." "A job's a job" "You know what'll make you feel better?" "If you put your quarters into your...bank!" "I fixed him... and made him less dangerous." "I can finally hug him." "Go ahead, put in all the quarters you got today!" "No, no, put them all in!" "Go on, put them" "I did--is that it?" "Yep." "I made a tea," "I bought milk... two gobs, two quarters." "Spent the rest of the day arguing mostly." "Dave, at this rate, it'll take you..." "Dave, it'll take you 3 years to fill it again!" "[sniffles]" "If he paid me to argue, it would be full in no time." "OK, OK, enough crazy talk." "We need an actual plan here." "All right, according to "Successful" "Rodents Magazine,"" "there are 3 key tips to success:" "one, always show up early for work;" "two, make yourself presentable;" "and 3--most importantly-- never argue with your boss." "Got it?" "You just ate two of the key tips to success." "[Dave cries]" "Whatcha doing here, Dave?" "Shouldn't you be at work?" "I took your advice and showed up early." "And?" "I interrupted his nap, which made him start to argue." "You didn't argue back, did you?" "No." "And he argued that my not arguing was argumentative, so he fired me." "Are you wearing mascara?" "I was making myself presentable." "Now leave me be so I can say good-bye to Bertha." "Well, well, welly, well well." "Look who it is... the skunk who doesn't know how to argue!" "I know how;" "I just don't want to." "Sounds like you're arguing with me." "Oops." "Careful, Dave." "You wanna piece of this fight, squirrel?" "I'll have you know I once beat 7 men and a little girl in an argument without using a single fact!" "We're not gonna argue with you." "Now if you'll excuse me," "I have a display to finish." "That's not how you stack!" "OK, hang on a second now!" "Scaredy, no!" "That's how it starts." "Skunk, argue with me!" "Argue!" "Do it!" "Go on, argue!" "[whimpering]" "Ha ha ha!" "I will argue!" "Dave, what are you doing?" "And I insist you don't pay me for it." "Too bad for you..." "I am gonna pay you for it." "No, you are not!" "Well, what does that look like?" "Looks like you're paying me too much." "You're wrong!" "I was underpaying you!" "Well, I'll be." "Dave:" "I insist that you stop it." "Goat:" "I won't!" "There's no way you could give me any more quarters." "Oh, just watch me!" "Dave:" "Stop it!" "Goat:" "I won't!" "Dave:" "No faster!" "Goat:" "Yes faster!" "Dave:" "Less money!" "Goat:" "More money!" "Ha ha ha!" "Your bank is full!" "Take that!" "Um, I am going to work for you forever?" "No, you're not!" "You're fired!" "Scaredy, my porcu-bank is full again!" "Dave, you solved a problem." "My brain's something good." "[sighs]" "You OK?" "Yeah." "It's funny, though." "I mean, I usually solve the problems." "Maybe there's another problem you can solve." "Nope." "There's not enough time for another problem." "Hatton:" "I got a problem." "See?" "This one is all yours." "Heh-heh." "[sighs]" "Dave: ♪ It's Scaredy Squirrel's" "Safety Corner ♪" "♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪" "So... what's the message on "Safety Corner"" "this week?" "Well, I guess we should start with breaking other peoples' legs is wrong." "And vanilla prank cake isn't as good as chocolate." "Paddy:" "Go get me another piece." "But I--yes, Lord Supreme" "Paddy, sir." "Ha ha!" "Ha ha!" "Ha ha!" "Aw, hello!" "May I push your wheelbarrow down a hill and into a river?" "What?" "Huh?" "Who are you?" "How about now?" "Beat it, rainbow butt!" "Hey!" "No!" "Stop!" "Hey, get away from me, crazy feathers!"