" Did I make it home in time for bed?" " Well, you missed it by half an hour, but we had an awesome day." "You look great." "Wow." "Not as great as this." "What's goin' on?" "Eh, just a little homemade gnocchi is all." "Ooh." "Yeah, I-I purchased a gnocchi paddle..." " Mm." " It's kind of a maiden voyage." "Oh, my God." "That is so good." "It's pissing me off." " Oh." " Damn you, gnocchi, you bitch." "It's ricotta-based, n-not potato." "It's..." "I was on Gwyneth Paltrow's website." "She kind of walked me through it." " Oh." " Oh, also..." " If the mood strikes us..." " Mm-hmm." "We can also take a night flight..." "To Cuba." " Uh!" " Ooh." "I've been studying Latin dance and discovered that it is much too difficult." "Well, I will join you in this forbidden dance, but first..." "Let me slip into something more comfor-table." "Gracias, señorita." "Yeah, you know, actually maintaining romance in a relationship is very, very important." "At least, that's what Gwyneth says." "As tweeted from the London spice market." "All right, let's eat." " Hey." "You are... comfortable." " Comfor-table." "You know, they..." "They say the key to rolling it is to find, like, a relaxed place..." "Mm." "Oh, my God." "You are so good at making this." "Oh, you know what?" "I have to put some, uh," " I got some shaved parmesan..." " Mm." "Doesn't need cheese." "No, I don't need any parmesan." "Okay, well, you know, one at time is the..." "Oh." "Oh, jeez." "Yikes." "You know what?" "Maybe you wanna just go and put on the, um..." "You know, that see-throughy sweater you used to always wear." " See, that's a nice one." " Well, no, actually, this stain matches all the spit-up stains on this one, so it's okay." "I love you, honey." " I-I love you." " Mm." "Hey, can I ask you somethin'?" "Only if it's personal, bro." "I feel like lately, while..." "While still awesome," "Reagan hasn't been exactly..." "Delivering on the sexiness front the way she used to, you know?" "Mas, por favor." "It's like, she goes to work all super-smokin' hot business lady." "But when she comes home, it's straight into maternity jeans." " With the elastic waist." " Y-yeah." "And while the baby's gone, there's, like, this saggy, denim pouch where a baby used to be, and now, I..." "And I can't say anything." " No, you cannot!" " Right." "So it's hopeless." "No, you can lead by example." "You can't ask for it, but if you put sexy out there, maybe it'll put her in the mood to respond." "I feel like I'm putting sexy out there." "Yeah?" "I made gnocchi the other night." "Oh, so you boiled balls of potato and expect that tasty slice to slap on some latex thigh highs?" "They were ricotta-based, but that was Gwyneth." "Listen, after the baby, my wife and I were living in a sweatpants purgatory." "I got us out." "I can help you." "Do you want me to help you?" "Yeah, totally." "Yes." "Okay." "But first, Henry and I are gonna do a couple sets on the bouncy frog." "Okay." "Let's go, bro." "Buenos dias, señoras." "Como estan ustedes hoy?" "Are you kidding me with the Spanish?" "How awesome is he?" "One more time for Dr. Deon!" "Dr. Deon's book, the hip-hop heart, is available now on kindle." "Like I tell my audience," ""there's no beat more important than the heartbeat."" " Oh, no." " What's wrong?" "Oh." "Benjamin "B-ro" Roth, who was Ava's ex-fiance/ crappy boy-band member, is getting married." "I didn't know Ava had a fiance." "Yeah, well." "It didn't end well." "It was the classic boy meets girl, boy embezzles girl's life savings, girl torches boy's tour bus while screaming," ""is your ho in there?" "I smell burnt ho."" "She's so assertive." "I wish I had her strength." "Oh, God, I hope she doesn't have her phone." "Extremely valuable." "30 minutes a day." "That's all it takes to reduce your risk of stroke by 20%." "She has her phone." "We're gonna take a quick break." "Brace yourself." "Ava always spins out of control over B-ro." "Here we go." "This show is out of control!" "Honey?" "Honey, you know what?" "That's..." "That's actually... you can't..." "Okay." "Okay." "Ava." "Ava, it's bolted down." "You're gonna hurt yourself." "I would..." "I would take my hands off of that right now." "Okay." "Well, you wanna" " Ava." "Ava?" "Okay." "Okay." " More!" " You know what?" "You know what?" " More!" "More!" " I'm gonna just do it for you." " Stand back." "Stand back." " More." "Let's just do it calmly." "Let's just do it nice and calmly." "There it goes." "It breaks." "Okay." "All better." "Back to work." "Okay." "They..." "God, they're so high on your waist." "Turn around." "Turn around." "And there's this plateau that covers your whole backside." "And I don't even know what this bubble in the seat is." "Are you kidding?" "The bubble is-- the bubble was in a different spot bef..." "What the hell have I been doing?" "Why would Reagan wanna dress up for me?" "N-no." "Don't shame-spiral." "We're fixing this." "Let's talk tops." "How do you feel about your chest?" "I don't know." "I feel pretty good about it, I guess." "Well, I don't know how to feel about it." "Your shirt's so bulky and uncertain." "I look at your chest, and I see a big question mark." "All right." "Let's assess your underwear." "Right now?" "Let's assess your underwear." "Drop your drawers." "Oh, my God." "Not even laundry day." "Dude, you can do so much better." "Here, check this out." "They're Swedish." "Made by Bjorn Borg." "The tennis player makes underwear?" "No, the underwear-maker played tennis." "Oh, while we're at it..." "You know about "the flex," right?" "N-no." "Not at all." "You're about to know about it right now." "Are you kiddin'?" "Look at that!" "Look at the lift you get." "It's, like, 40% more butt." "I don't like to put a number on it, but that's probably about right." "Thank you so much, man." "Reagan's really gonna love all this." "Just keep the body tight..." "But the message subtle." "You're a good dude." "You're a good dude." "Maybe we should put our pants back on." "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing." "Listen, I know you're upset about B-ro, but you have a whole audience out there who's waiting." "No, this show is a mess." "Look at this." "Look!" "So this is the moment, where I'm having this emotional moment with Dr. Deon." "Then, all of a sudden, poof!" "You cut to Kenny Rogers burping." "Look at this." " Okay." " Look." " Listen." "Ava." "Ava." " Out, in." "Oh, there goes a burp." "Back out, back in, out..." "Ava, it's okay to be upset." "You were engaged." "And why would I care about an aged b-boy?" "I mean, I have endless options." "Ava, come on." "Ava, open up." "It's us." "You want me to open up?" "The love of my life is getting married." "And it's not to me." "And I blame Reagan." "What?" "How can you blame me?" "We were two pop stars in love." "As my friend, you should've supported us." "But instead, you did everything to split us apart." "That is not true." "You told me to break up with him about a million times, and when that didn't happen, you talked him into going on an Asian tour with..." " Lisa Stansfield." "Yes." " Yes!" "And he tapped that!" "Yes, he tapped it." "Because he tapped everything." "But he fell in love with her." "I mean, it didn't last for very long." "But by then, we had both moved on." "Ava, you know I was right." "All I know is, I am going home to be alone in my beautiful manse in Bel Air, which I purchased from jazz and soul legend Peabo Bryson." "Enjoy your full, happy life while I cry in a jacuzzi shaped like an eighth note." "Wait a minute." "Ava?" "Uh, the show?" "Why don't you tell the show to go on tour with Lisa Stansfield?" "Because that makes no sense." "Oh, here you are." "Hi." "Oh, my God." "What a day." "B-ro is getting married." " Hello." " Oh, wow." "Somebody's actually marrying that creep, huh?" "Yes." "And Ava walked off the show." "And she's blaming me for their breakup." " Whoa." " Honey?" "Why are you..." "Shuffling around like you're smuggling drugs over there?" "No, no, I'm just..." "Thought that you might wanna see..." "A little someone." "Make your day a little bit better." "God, you're so cute." "Thank you, babe." "I gotta say, just lifting Amy all day really crushes my 'ceps, you know?" "Huh?" "Oh, I'm sorry, honey." "I was talking to Amy." "So was I." "You know what the great thing is with this new underwear..." "Is it really hugs me in all the right places." "What's going on?" "Wh--oh." "You mean with nouveau ensemble?" "Yeah." "Just put it on just for you, babe." "Aw, for me." "Why, thank you." " Very nice." " I just figured, you know..." "Even though we're hanging around the house, it might be nice to wear clothes that fit and don't have holes in them and whatever." "Like the stuff that I wear?" "Do you?" "No, I don't" "That's..." "I hadn't even thought..." "No." "Not that I..." "Are you sending me a message right now?" "Like, when I'm at home, am I not-- am I not fancy enough for you?" "No." "Babe, don't get..." "I love your..." "Charity walk-a-thon sweatpants and your birthing ponchos, all that stuff." "Oh, my God!" " N-n-no." " I had your baby!" "No, I know, I was there the whole time..." "I laid out on that birthing table with all my junk" " hanging out there..." " Most of that stuff I can't even get out of my mind if I wanted to..." "And they sliced me from here to here and literally pulled the baby out of my stomach, so you can't tell me what I can wear!" " You work so hard." " I work 14 hours a day!" "I'm allowed to come home and put on something comfortable." "That's your God-given right!" "What?" "What do you want?" "Want me to just, like, come home and put on a silk cami and a thong?" "No!" "Babe, I'm not e-- do you have that?" "No." "That stuff is so, way too revealing." "I am so sorry for my..." "Existence." "No, it's okay." "I'm not mad." "Because that was some very helpful feedback." "I thank you." "Oh, don't do pray hands." "Please, that..." "Okay, you're thanking..." "Th..." "I..." "You're welcome, then, I guess." "Is--right?" "I mean, if you..." "If you mean it." "I just..." "Honey, I got up early and spent two hours making you a fabulous, your favorite, omelet with goat cheese and genoa salami." " I am sorry." " Oh, darling, will we be taking breakfast in the kitchen this morning?" "What is happening?" "Well, I thought about your advice." "And you're right." "We should be much fancier when we're at home." "Come on, Reagan." "Haven't you dressed?" "Oh, God." "It feels so good to be fancy first thing in the morning." "And to think, without your advice," "I would be having this beautiful breakfast in a non-fancy way." "Boy, I was really hoping that you were gonna let this go." "Let this go?" "Oh, no." "No, I'm hooked." "I have an addiction to being fancy." "Exquisite, darling." "Chris, can I just be serious with you for one second?" "Yes, that would be great." "I think the staff" " is stealing our silver." " Okay." "So we're not gonna be serious." "Okay..." " Eyes and ears open." " I'm not gonna win this, yeah." "I really screwed up." "I brought it on the sexy front, but I blew it on the subtle part." "To make matters worse, I sent her a bouquet" " in the shape of a dog." " Awful." "I know." "I panicked." "The lady on the phone from the flower place..." "She seemed so... confident." "It's just so upsetting." "I am committed to a man who sends me a card that says, "I woof you."" "I hate that." "Oh, did somebody get flowers from someone who loves them?" "Good for that person." "Please send these to Carol in accounting from Marco in the mail room." " Aye." " Thank you." "Okay, fine." "You know what?" "I did break you up." "But that's because you are my best friend." "And when you see a train coming after your best friend, you push them out of the way." "Well, maybe a real friend would've given the train a chance." "The train cheated on you with all the members of tlc." "It was only "T" and "l."" ""C" just stayed the night." "And besides, we both had our flings." "I certainly enjoyed my one night of passion with that little Greek that ran Bill Clinton's campaign." "George Stephanopoulos?" "B-ro was sexually and creatively devastating." "Ugh." "It was like making love to fire." "Look." "Remember this?" "♪ Ava." "Ava. ♪" "♪ basically ♪" "♪ there are currently no reasons why I shouldn't be with you ♪" "♪ basically ♪" "♪ it would certainly be pleasing ♪" "♪ if you'd consent to be my boo ♪" "♪ mm, girl, ♪" "♪ pragmatically speaking ♪" "♪ you're the perfect option for me right now ♪" "♪ I appreciate it ♪" "Honey, this was not real life." "It represented how we felt." " He shot the director." " At the director." " He was only peacocking for me." " Oh, God." "You guys had millions of problems." "Here, do you remember this night?" "Where my money at, bitch?" "Baby, I told you, I'm about to make a mint." "Me and Jodeci invested in that dope 24-hour chicken pot pie restaurant." " That's money in the biz-ank." " Guys!" " Eat Prada, fool!" " Guys, guys!" "Aw, really?" "Who offered to buy you that Prada?" "Listen!" "We've all had too many zimas, okay?" "Both y'all bitches actin' crazy!" "Don't you call me a!" "I will kick your." "So we bickered." "Every couple does that." "Honey, b-ro was the worst." "Details magazine voted him literally "the worst."" "There was a lot of good." "He was my soul mate." "And now he's getting married, and I'm all alone." "Terrible people can get married, you know?" "Terrible people can change." "You know, I'm gonna give him a call." " What?" " Yeah." "We'll all go meet for drinks or something, or whatever his probation officer will allow him to have." "And I will prove to you that you are better off without him." "That dude cannot change, okay?" "Trust me." "♪ Basically ♪" "♪ there are currently no reasons why I shouldn't be with you ♪" "Hi, excuse me." "Um, I'm here to meet Benjamin roth." "So, um, ah." "You know what?" "Never mind." "I see his crew." "Hey, guys." "How you doin'?" "Let me guess." "B-ro's late, right?" "Look, I-I know how this goes." "So let's just set a few ground rules." "First of all," "I am not sleeping with any of you." "Secondly, I am not gonna have a drink that is not ordered in my presence." "Reagan, over here!" "Mm." "Drakkar Noir is..." "It's, um..." "You're all wearing it." "I love it." "I could smell it when I walked in." "So enjoy your lunch." "All the best." " Hey." " Hi." "Oh, it's so great to see you." "You look fantastic." "Wow!" "So do you." "What's with the, uh..." "The no-ponytail a-and seeming-soberness?" "Well, I cleaned up finally." "Quit the music biz, got really involved in my church, started a charity." "Uh, just tryin' to pay things forward." "Yeah, but if I-- if I got you some 'shrooms and a styrofoam cup of some fresh "sizzurp,"" "you'd be down with that, though, right?" "No." "Not really." " But kinda." " No." " Eh, little bit." " No." "What if I said I had it in my purse?" "Hi, boys." "Ava, honey." "Over here." "Oh." "Oh!" "Benjamin?" "Ava, you look amazing." "So do you." "He looks good." "Don't be fooled." "And this is the school I founded in Kenya." "And this is little mwai." "Oh, just adorable." "This is Sophie, his sister." " Super-sweet." " I hope you're happy, Reagan." "Don't forget, he stole all your money, okay?" " Where's it at?" " Anyway, that's Kenya." "Now you have to see pictures from El Salvador and Guatemala." "Yeah, no." "You know what?" "Um, b-ro..." "Benjamin..." "I owe you an apology, okay?" "I-I was being very cynical." "And I did not think that people could change." "Especially you." "But th-that was stupid..." "Of me." "Because, really, for the last ten years," "I have been watching Ava turn into one of the most amazing people that I've ever met." "Aw, honey." "One love." "One love." "Oh!" "It's my lunchtime call with my baby." "Excuse me." "Hi, honey." "Wow." "You seem really great." "I'm really happy for you." " Your show is so amazing." " Aww." "Hey, but I'm-I'm so impressed to see how successful you've become." "Thank you." "And maybe now you don't have to be so uptight with your money." "Say what?" "Hi, boo-boo." " Who you calling a bitch..." " You, bitch!" "Oh, get that Outta my face." "Oh, there it is." "I have to call you back." " Where my money at, fool?" " Guys!" "Guys!" "Okay, you have to stop." "Reagan, I think you were right." "I think my instincts with men are [Clicks tongue] Well..." "Let's just say, it's no secret why I'm alone." "You're gonna find someone." "Until then... ♪ Basically ♪ Ugh." "♪ There are currently no reasons... ♪" " Oh, God." " ♪ Why I shouldn't ♪" "♪ be with you ♪" "♪ I appreciate you ♪" "Good." "Thanks, buddy." " Oh!" " Yeah." "I got you a little something!" "Oh!" "You got me a thong!" "I was thinking about your doggy bouquet." "And, look..." "Chris may have made a mistake." "But he's one of the good ones." "Forgive him." "He just doesn't understand." "I just had a baby." "I mean, what?" "He wants me to walk around the house looking like this?" "I mean, underneath this," "I have a girdle and two pairs of spanx on." "I may not be good at relationships, but I am really good at helping other people with theirs." "That's why they gave me my own show." " See that?" " Mm-hmm." "Hey." "Hey." "Come sit down here for a second." "Okay." ""My life without you."" "If I had never met you, who would I be?" "Honey." "You don't have to..." "Without you, I would be lost and alone." "I would have a strange, non-ironic mustache." "Without you, I would've dropped out of law school and spiraled until I finally hit bottom." "Oh, God." "You'd be working at hurricane harbor?" "Yeah, it's actually soak city." "Oh." "And without you, I wouldn't have had any of these wonderful experiences." "Oh." "Barack and the kids." "I forgot about that night." "I forgot how much I love Photoshop." "And, lastly, and most importantly, without you, I wouldn't have this." "That's pretty perfect." "I am gonna go slip into something a little more..." "Comfortable." "♪ Bow-chicka-bow-wow ♪" "Wow." "I like it." "Yeah, me too." "It's like, rec room on the outside..." "Strip club on the inside." "Yeah." "And I'm kind of like, nerd dad on the outside..." "And '80s tennis star on the inside." "Yeah, baby." "♪ Basically ♪" "♪ there are currently no reasons why I shouldn't be with you ♪" "♪ basically ♪" "♪ it would certainly be pleasing ♪" "♪ if you'd consent to be my boo ♪" " ♪ basically, you'renza the woman of my dreams ♪" "♪ like a princess with a crown ♪" "♪ or even a queen ♪" "♪ wanna kiss on your neck ♪" "♪ and tickle your feet ♪" "♪ and [Bleep] While I ♪" "♪ you're my heart, my world ♪" "♪ an angel on earth ♪" "♪ a grown woman I respect ♪" "♪ 'cause you know what you worth ♪" "♪ strong and independent, educated, too ♪" "♪ that's why I wanna ♪" "♪ I love you ♪" "♪ I love you ♪"