"Tickets, please." "My first murder north of Watford." "That's for you to decide?" "On the basis we've got mobile phone evidence showing someone pushing Lola off this very bridge." "I saw him jump, Pat." "I couldn't get to him in time." "I see it still every time I close my eyes." "My brother Enayat." "He was scared of shadows." "Could he have been so scared he tried to kill himself?" "No!" "Someone killed him." "Katie Marshall." "Aged 16." "Looks like we've found a mother for Michael." "I love her like a daughter." "Katie's mother was my mate." "It was supposed to be a new start for both of us." "I don't care about Katie." "I want my son." "I want to keep him." "The adoption service are confident they've found the right couple." "We can have that baby, Nus." "You know they think we're right for him." "There's no way they can find out about Khalil." "I've seen the photos on your computer." "I was lost, Dad." "You have to believe me." "I'm not that person any more." "There'll be other weekends, yeah?" "Yeah, Paris next time." "Don't I know you?" "Sohel, right?" "Mal!" "Mal!" "This programme contains some strong language." "I'll help clear that up later, love." "I'll make us a cup of tea." "We can take it back to bed." "You've got hours yet." "BABY CRIES" "Rockets and bangers and fireworks." "Boom, boom, boom!" "So much noises last night!" "Michael is a big boy." "Such a brave boy." "Nothing can hurt Michael now." "If it's only ever just me and you, Nus, that'd be OK." "Anyone can see it's too soon." "I don't know where you get this idea from, Jenny, that all you have to do is make a speech and she'll start agreeing with you." "You don't understand, you've haven't got children." "How could she possibly go back to work?" "I know we can't afford to replace everything at once, but I'd rather eat off an ashtray than some of these old plates of yours." "I only ever needed two of everything." "One for my hand and one for the sink." "We'll go to a car-booter, get rid of some of my old stuff and get some new." "Do I look like I do second hand?" "You look like a million dollars, love." "Oh, God, was there ever a woman like you for getting her happies and sads mixed up!" "It's just I've waited so long for things to start to come right." "And today you get to stop waiting." "Cos I were right when I told you to go to the police, wasn't I?" "Just be yourself today, love, your kind, beautiful, lovely self." "All you ever have to do... ..is exactly what you tell me." "Yes, sir!" "Seem to have developed a bit of a problem in the tummy department." "Well, don't blame me." "It's you does the cooking." "By 'eck, you look a picture." "I'm not too sure what to wear on my foot." "Are you going out?" "Where?" "I know we're going out, Gerry and me..." "I'm going with you." "Don't look so surprised." "I was in the school choir." "I may even sing the descant if the mood takes me." "Anyway, I promised I'd take you to the War Memorial." "No, love, that's later." "You don't want to drag that poor leg around all morning." "It's Remembrance Sunday." "Seems to me I've got a lot to remember." "HE COUGHS" "'Your brother knows you've got a visiting order." "'He's going to want to know why you're not with us." "'We agreed this already.'" "I never agreed." "That was you agreeing with yourself!" "Given it's Khalil's fault there's so much bad feeling, it's important for the community that someone from this family turns up to show our respect for the dead." "The community?" "Fat lot of good they've been." "Cut you in the street now, half of them." "Yes, they don't like reading headlines about Muslim terrorists in the local paper." "They don't like the police turning up on their doorsteps too." "It's an excuse, and I just wish you'd come out and say so." "Because of him, we won't be adopting anyone." "My brother has ruined my life, Danny, and yours." "So please forgive me if it's taking a while to get used to it." "CHURCH ORGAN PLAYS" "♪ Praise, my soul, the King of Heaven" "♪ To his feet thy tribute bring" "♪ Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven" "♪ Ever more his praises sing" "♪ Alleluia!" "♪ Alleluia!" "♪ Praise the everlasting King... ♪" "BABY CRIES" "♪ Father-like he tends and spares us" "♪ Well our feeble frame he knows" "♪ In his hands he gently bears us" "♪ Rescues us from all our foes" "♪ Alleluia!" "Alleluia!" "♪ Praise with us the God of Grace. ♪" "Please be seated." "On this day, when we remember our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, and those we have lost in earlier conflicts," "I am very glad to fulfil some happier duties..." "I just couldn't ever think of the right words." "And so it is with great pleasure that I publish the banns of marriage between Jennifer Susan Mason, of this parish, and Gerard Finlay Hopkirk, of the parish of St Saviour." "This is for the second time of asking." "If anyone knows of any reason in law why they may not marry each other, they are to declare it." "I wouldn't have gone off and done it without telling you, of course not!" "So when were you planning on telling me your little secret?" "I don't know." "I kept forgetting." "Please!" "Please don't pretend this has got anything to do with senile dementia." "Unlike the decision to marry the pompous git in the first place." "Oh, he's a good man!" "He's a boring old fart, whose idea of fun is writing down train numbers." "Oh, Laurie, listen to me, sweetheart, please." "Gerry is so kind and steady, and he loves me, and I need that, especially now..." "What you need, you know what you've always needed, is to be the centre of attention." "You're jealous, and it isn't pretty." "Mum, I had a life back there, a real life with a career and friends and going out and time for myself." "And I gave all that up to come up here and end up with a bit part in the Jenny and Gerry Show." "Well, you should be glad I've found a man daft enough to take me off your hands." "Oh, life is so short..." "I know." "My man's dead!" "I watched him die for nothing." "What are you talking about?" "He left you." "Your husband left you for that slapper in his office." "Maybe we should have waited." "But we haven't got time to wait, whereas you..." "Don't..." "You're still young." "If you mention the fish in the sea one more time, I swear to God I will rip your bloody head off." "Oh, don't leave me like this." "Go on, take it." "Your mother and I will walk." "The exercise will do us good." "How am I supposed to drive?" "That's your clutch foot." "My car's an automatic." "Your mother can't help it, Laurie, you know that." "Just go easy on the handbrake turns." "Are you sure you like it?" "It's fine." "Only I wasn't sure about the colour, which was why I wanted you to come to the shop with me." "BEEPING Is that them?" "Soraya?" "Soraya?" "You can't blame them for going off the idea of putting a baby with a family of mad terrorists." "But it's so unfair." "Nus, I'm so sorry..." "Don't, Amira." "I haven't cried about any of it yet and I don't want to start now." "But Khalil's only on remand now." "So, when it comes to trial, he could still get off." ""Attendance at a place of terrorist training."" "Even his own solicitor says he'll have to plead guilty." "He could get 15 years." "No, I'm saying it's not your job to like it or not like it, Nick, you know that." "He only wants him cos he thinks he'll get a British passport out of it." "You can't say that." "Why?" "Cos it's not what you want to hear?" "No, cos it's not true." "Look at him." "Look at Farid." "He loves that child." "He's not making it up." "He wants him." "Everybody wants him." "Even this old slapper you're making me meet wants him." "He needs a grandma." "She's a prostitute!" "And that was all a bit dodgy, how his brother died..." "She went to the police and they believed her, which should be good enough for you." "And Farid likes her." "She's the closest thing he's got to family." "He rang her when he left the detention centre." "She's had a hard life." "Is that her?" "It's all for Michael now, remember?" "For his new life." "All right, Maureen?" "I'm glad you found us." "Thanks for meeting us." "I thought we could all go shopping." "You sure about this?" "My family is far away." "She is near." "Beggars..." "Tell me again, Nick?" "Can't be choosers." "Well, here he is." "What do you think?" "Can I?" "Of course." "Oh, so heavy!" "You're enormous, look at you!" "He is four months old now." "He is beautiful, Farid." "We lose, and then we find." "Excuse me." "Sorry, thanks." "What are they looking at?" "This feels uncomfortable." "That's why we all agreed to come here, remember?" "To get looked at." "To be seen, remembering the dead, with all the other British people." "MUSIC:" ""We Wish You A Merry Christmas"" "Coffee before we get going?" "Many things to buy, Colly." "I'll stay here with Michael." "No." "Michael must come with his daddy." "He must help choose his things for his new house, innit?" "Well, look, Farid... ..at least take a nappy, yeah, because you've got max half an hour before he starts shouting his head off." "Michael never shouts, do you, darling?" "I don't believe it." "You will see!" "You will hear biggest voice in England." "BAND PLAYS "Onward, Christian Soldiers"" "Parade...halt!" "Into line...turn!" "Get in there behind me." "Why?" "Just do it." "MUSIC:" ""Jingle Bells"" "Hello." "All the terrible things you worry are going to happen in your life..." "Some of them do." "Usually not the ones you're expecting!" "And then you forget, don't you?" "Like they say a woman forgets the pain of childbirth." "Has to, or she'd never go through it again!" "I wouldn't know about that." "I was with her, you know, when he was born." "Held her hand while she was screaming." "She was offered all sorts of support to help keep him, once we tracked her down." "But she was absolutely determined, she did not want that baby." "Oh, well." "Once Katie gets an idea in her head..." "Yes?" "Yes!" "So you've no kids of your own, then?" "Er, no." "On purpose?" "Well..." "Me neither." "I thought I'd lost everything, but..." "look at me now." "They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old." "Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn." "At the going down of the sun and in the morning we will remember them." "We will remember them." "BUGLER PLAYS "The Last Post"" "'Ladies and gentlemen, today is Remembrance Sunday." "'We would like to invite you to join in observing a two-minute silence.'" "What is happening?" "Ssh!" "No talking." "Tell you later." "CLOCK CHIMES" "BABY CRIES" "They're looking at me now." "It's not all about you, Kimberley!" "That's right, it's not." "It's about your headscarf, and his beard, and our religion, and what about your brother, Nusrat?" "Ssh, Jamal, not here!" "Locked up for nothing." "Locked up for being a Muslim." "I thought it were for going off on one of them terrorist training camps." "You are so not helping." "Banged me up for two weeks just because my number was in his mobile phone." "Ssh!" "They won't even let me visit him cos I'm not family." "But he writes to me." "And that's how I know about you." "You haven't even been to see him once!" "It's got nothing to do with you." "I'm his friend!" "I'm his good friend that helped him out." "You should be grateful to me." "You're his sister and you're letting him rot!" "All right, mate, that's enough." "Got nothing to do with you, man." "Jamal, leave it." "Calm down, OK, try to remember where you are." "Don't you tell me to calm down!" "Mum, go for your lunch." "Don't wait for me." "Where are you going?" "Have it your way." "I'm arresting you for threatening behaviour." "Oh, man!" "I am fed up with this!" "Don't, please, it's just a private thing..." "Get off him!" "Jamal!" "HE CAUTIONS JAMAL This is not me!" "I don't do this any more!" "..anything you do say may be given in evidence." "Oh, come on!" "This is supposed to be a free country." "'Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.' CHRISTMAS MUSIC RESUMES" "Take a seat and I'll find out what is happening with your friend." "Can you buzz me through?" "Yeah, sure." "I'd have cautioned that little sod and let him go, if he hadn't made such a sodding fuss." "On and bloody on." "Yeah." "Jamal likes the sound of his own voice." "My ears are ringing." "So...that little bastard that Mal was chasing that night..." "Still on remand, yeah, for the poxy couple of wraps of smack which were all we found in his rucksack." "If he hadn't been on the train the day we did the reconstruction..." "Hey, don't go there." "..he wouldn't have recognised me, he wouldn't have panicked and run, Mal wouldn't have chased him..." "Things happen, love." "Things go wrong." "You can't explain it all." "There's no bombs in the end." "No guns or terrorists." "Just a big old stupid waste of a life." "It's this thing." "Good job we got that lift fixed." "If you want to stay on my Christmas card list, don't say anything nice to me, OK?" "She hates it when anyone says anything nice." "Which makes my life a lot easier cos I never do." "You dancing?" "Are you asking?" "What you doing here, Laurie?" "Can I come back to work?" "No." "Boss, I'm going mad at my mother's." "Ghost town on a weekend." "So we never got anything out of the landlady." "No, I heard that." "Other than that she was the other person on the bridge." "The boy who went under the train was unstable, homesick, frightened of his own shadow." "And the mobile phone?" "Inconclusive." "They thought they might have something, but they didn't." "I look for him everywhere." "Office was split down the middle, you know... ..about whether there was anything going off between the two of you." "No." "He wasn't my type." "I thought you had previous?" "Yeah, I were married to a policeman." "But he wasn't funny... or loving." "Or tall!" "Just let him go, please." "BUZZER SOUNDS" "I'm sorry..." "Nusrat?" "Where have you been?" "I've been sat here waiting and I can't get any sense out of anyone." "I've spoken to the arresting officer." "Your friend will be charged with threatening behaviour." "He'll go before the magistrate in the morning." "Jamal's a good person underneath. .." "He is!" "He's left all that bad stuff behind, and he was helping my brother..." "..helping him to calm down and see the world from a more peaceful place." "Can we phone your dad, get him to come and pick you up?" "He's out of town." "Over there, stand by the conveyor belt." "OFFICER GIVES INSTRUCTIONS" "'The police came when it was still dark." "'They turned the flat upside down." "'My dad was always a big law and order man, you know." "But the way they talk to you in these interviews..." "'Anyway, Dad went into total denial." "Must of been a religious camp, he says.'" "Open your mouth." "'A study break.'" "Wider." "'Outward bound." "'And then Khalil got charged." "'"Attendance at a place used for terrorist training."" "'Cos they found those stupid photographs.'" "I'm sorry." "It's not your fault!" "You let my brother go." "He liked you." "Yeah, but it were me that arrested him in the first place." "DOG BARKS" "One day our social worker saw him with my dad and asked, who's that?" "And I said I don't know him." "My own brother." "So, what, you make one mistake and it stays with us for ever?" "Sullivan." "Laurie!" "You're all done." "Oh, love, look at the time, you must be starving." "I told you we should have waited." "Excuse me, excuse me!" "Your mother had the pork, and it looked lovely." "What do you mean, it looked lovely?" "You ate half of it." "And all the crackling!" "Could we have a menu, please?" "Yes, of course." "Oh, it's lovely that you came, isn't it, Gerry?" "Cheers." "I'm sorry about before." "I'm having a bit of trouble contacting my inner adult today." "And I'm happy for you." "Congratulations." "You don't have to be brave, not with me." "Well, I can have brave, or I can be a puddle on the floor, so..." "No, I'm fine." "I'm a big girl now." "Not to me." "BUZZER SOUNDS" "Salaam aleikum." "Hello, son." "How is she?" "She's good." "She sends her love." "You know, if I did want to be some kind of mad bomber, this place'd be like Oxford University." "Well, you're not, are you, so hush now." "They're all in little groups, winding themselves up, talking jihad and swapping stories and, you know, trying to outdo each other..." "..who's the most devout, who can break down a Kalashnikov in less than two minutes." "Don't talk to them, Khalil." "I don't." "I don't want anything to do with them." "But it's hard, you know, it's a big deal, if you're not part of a group in here." "If you don't belong..." "That's why I went in the first place." "Don't talk about that." "Why I went to Pakistan." "The first time... the first time I picked up a gun, I dropped it on my foot." "Didn't know it would be so heavy." "My foot's never been right since." "And when they took those photos... ..I was thinking, "God, I bet I look a right prat."" "I'd never felt so lonely in my life." "And now look at me." "Dad." "Dad?" "I'm going to come back when you're ready to talk about something else." "DOOR BUZZES AND OPENS" "Does she hate me too?" "Your sister loves you, and so does your dad." "It's just... ..hard for everyone." "It's hard..." "I lost my way, Danny..." "It's all right, mate." "We'll all survive." "Inshallah, yeah?" "When you became a Muslim, was it all so you could marry my sister?" "Tell me the truth, now." "At first... yeah." "But..." "You know my nana was Irish?" "Both your nans." "Were Irish, yeah, but this one... she used to say this prayer." ""May the road rise to meet you..." ""..may the wind be always at your back..." ""May the sun shine warm upon your face." Yeah, I heard that one." ""And may God always hold you in the palm of His hand."" "Yeah?" "Now I'm Muslim, I understand it." "Like when things go wrong, when they go as wrong as wrong can be," "I know that God will always hold me in the palm of His hand." "Me and my wife... ..and you too, Khalil." "SHE SOBS" "I don't know why you bought all these pans, he's never going to cook." "Why don't you spit it out?" "I'm the social worker." "So it's my fault." "I don't blame you, Colly." "You're just doing your job." "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." "Where is Michael?" "Where is my son?" "Excuse me!" "Excuse me!" "A little baby, and a woman?" "Please?" "Have you seen them?" "Excuse me, have you seen a woman with a little baby?" "He's wearing a grey and blue stripy top." "No, I'm sorry." "Excuse me!" "A little baby and a woman?" "Police, please." "It's OK, it'll be OK." "..Hi, yeah, police, please." "Hiya, love, it's only me, just to let you know I've changed that lampshade." "Any idea what time you'll be home?" "Hope you're OK." "MOBILE RINGS" "We're checking CCTV and the bus and train stations, but we've drawn a blank so far, I'm afraid." "They've got a car outside the house, waiting for her." "Waiting!" "Christ, we can all do that." "My poor brother... ..I brought him to live with that woman." "I left my brother there all alone." "It's not your fault you got caught by Immigration." "I can now see it was her fault." "Maureen's fault." "She knew where I was going that day." "She knew where they could find me." "You think she shopped you?" "Yes." "She did it to get Katie." "Only Katie is what she wants." "You have a nice bath?" "Yeah." "Watching this, are we?" "This is Gerry's favourite." "No, no, we don't have to watch this." "No, don't." "Don't turn it over, it's fine." "I'll get a book." "Oh, well, I'll get it for you." "You're going to have to have a word with him about trying too hard." "Aw, bless him!" "Any particular book?" "She says you're trying too hard, love." "Oh, dear!" "BABY CRIES" "MOBILE RINGS" "So you're saying you saw his car?" "Last time I saw it, it was over there." "You can identify him, it was definitely him?" "Oh, aye, yeah." "SIREN WAILS" "'I can't take your call right now." "I'll call you back.'" "HE STARTS ENGINE" "All right." "Come on, pet." "Oh, no!" "Thanks, love." "PHONE RINGS" "'I can't take your call right now." "I'll call you back.'" "Just... ..if you're thinking of leaving me again, don't." "Don't do it." "Don't, love." "Who is it?" "It's Auntie Maureen." "How did you find me?" "Saw you in town one day last week." "Followed me?" "Sad cow." "Saw what bus stop you got off." "Never give up, do you, Maureen?" "What are you on, you?" "Look at him!" "Look at what you're missing, love." "Look at his little hands." "We can do it together." "I helped you get off smack once and I'll do it again." "Is that your bag?" "I'm not interested." "Come on, get your stuff together now!" "You can't help me." "Look at me, Maureen!" "How many times do I have to say it?" "You're not my mum." "We were happy." "I don't want him." "Just fuck off and die, will you?" "BABY CRIES" "Shut the door, Pat." "Someone might see." "They'll not see a bloody thing!" "I knew where I'd find you." "It's a dump, is this." "What did you want to come here for?" "We were happy here." "Me and Katie." "Come home with me, love." "Those days are gone." "Look..." "You've been good to me, but it's over." "I saw what happened, Soraya." "I saw you up there on the bridge with that lad." "So you said." "I saw what you did and I never told a soul." "You saw nothing." "I never hurt him." "You never saw me hurt him." "Come home with me now, or I'll tell the police you pushed him." "You've got it all wrong." "I can't let you leave me again." "You've got it all wrong." "He was so upset." "He went mental when Farid didn't come home." "He thought the drugs men had killed him and were going to murder us all in our beds." "I've run myself out of my pills, giving them to him to calm him down." "In the end, all I could think of was to put him on a bus out of town." "I gave him a phone number on a bit of paper." "Just random numbers." "Come the morning, and we're leaving, and he comes down in this bloody burka!" "No-one will know me in this, he says!" "And he's got Katie's bloody trainers in his hands and he can't tie the laces." "So I tied them." "Tied them on him like it was his first day at school." "SIREN WAILS" "Leave him." "Come on, we've got to go." "And we got almost as far as the bridge and he's in a panic, and he's crying, and I stopped to get him something to drink." "And I get back to the car and he's not in it." "He's on the bridge and the train's coming." "Come on!" "On my life, Pat, I swear I never pushed him." "He stood there and he said, "Will it be all right, Maureen?" ""Will Farid ever come home again?"" "And I thought, "He knows." ""He knows I shopped his brother."" "And I looked at him and I said, "No..." ""..he won't come back ever."" "And then..." "..and...and then the train came." "That's just like you, though, isn't it?" "You left him without a word of comfort." "The same way you left me!" "I loved you." "You gave me money for sex." "Now you give me a roof over my head, but the deal's the same." "Me on me back and you on top grunting." "Come home." "I can't." "I don't love you." "What are you doing out here?" "I could do with some air." "You'll need take a torch, the security light's out." "Mum, don't fuss." "Take Gerry's." "Mum!" "God." "Hellfire!" "It's for spotting trains in the dark, I imagine." "THEY LAUGH" "Well, all men are the same." "Yeah, they're OK if you don't have to live with them." "FIREWORKS WHIZ AND CRACKLE" "Oh, you daft bugger!" "PHONE RINGS" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Yeah, yeah, I know which Pat." "What baby?" "TV IS ON" "CAR STARTS UP" "Is that my car?" "That's my car!" "If you want her to treat you like daughters treat their dads, you'd better get used to it!" "Pat!" "Pat!" "She never loved me at all." "Where are they?" "Where's she taken him?" "She never loved me at all." "Where's the baby, Pat?" "I always knew that." "Pat, where's the baby?" "If she'd just not said." "She didn't want him either." "Not really." "She just wants Katie." "And she can't have her." "She could have comforted him, that lad, and she didn't." "Could have saved him with a word." "Doesn't take much, does it?" "Bit of comfort." "Little white lie." "God, what have you done?" "She saw what my train did to him." "Don't let it hit me, she said, not even when I'm dead." "Please." "Not the baby too." "If I'd have killed her before, I could have saved her a lot of misery." "TRAIN APPROACHES" "TRAIN BRAKES" "SIREN WAILS" "She's left me alone again." "No." "You were on your own before, Pat." "Patrick Dowling, I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder." "You do not have to say anything..." "BABY CRIES" "CRYING GETS LOUDER" "Ssh." "I've got you." "You're safe." "You're safe now." "Hey, Michael." "See all those pretty lights?" "Well, they're all for you." "They're all for you." "Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd" "E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk"