"We all have our moments when we suddenly lose it, but his was in a whole different league." "He was like a cuckoo, caught between two families." "You're not responsible for how he's turning out, Ed." "You think you are, but you're not." "And divorce is hardly a novelty these days, is it?" "But he didn't belong in either of them." "Your mother may be blind to the guilt trips and the poor, misunderstood crap you pull, but I'm not." "What about your dad?" "Build some bridges." "Maybe even think about moving into his place for a while." "He might surprise you." " My stepsister's moved in with us." " And you like her?" "Half-brother, stepbrother... we're all one family now, aren't we?" "It's happening again, Gran." "It's like it takes me over." "You have to control it." " Your grandfather lost control and..." " And what?" "And yet losing control... still haunted him." "He kept doing that fight-or-flight thing." "But what if that threat is inside you?" "No matter how fast you run... or where you go... there's no escape." "Turn on all the taps and make sure the system's drained." "Jesus." "Are you OK?" "You don't know where my errant son is by chance?" "Er... he texted." "Something about going to his dad's." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "Who's hungry?" " Do you need a hand, or..." " Sure." "You could just take those to his room for me." "Sure." "So, how are you settling in?" "At college, here... and all points between?" "All good." "Why don't you and I do something on Saturday?" "Your dad can baby-sit." "We could check out a few clothes shops, maybe get some lunch?" "Catch a movie, even." "I've got college stuff to catch up on this weekend, so..." "Yeah, well, some other time." "That went well." " Yeah?" " Is he home yet?" " I thought he was at yours." " I'm at the hospital with Beth." " Everything all right?" " Well..." "I'm a surgeon, I work here." "We thought it was labour, it was a false alarm." "Shock, probably." "Shock?" "Yeah, something at home." "The damn water tank exploded." "And he was there, Hannah." "And he legged it, just like he did after the car crash." "What the hell is going on with that boy?" "Has he no shred of..." "common humanity whatsoever?" "Is there a swimming pool at the hotel?" "It's not a holiday, Jack, just a stop-gap until we get this place fixed up." " How long?" " Three or four days." "Just pop those in the car for me, please." "I've sent pictures to the insurers." "That's about all we can do for now." "Are you ready?" "Why would it suddenly go like that?" "The water tank just suddenly crack like that?" "A fault in the seal?" "God knows, I'm not a plumber." "You always say surgery's like plumbing." "It's not just the water tank, it's like an earthquake hit." "And why would he run away like that?" "What's going on?" "Come on inside." "Are you OK?" "I heard something." "The wind." "We should get one of those apps for him." "The guys at work were talking about it, a GPS thing that tracks your kid's movement without them knowing." "What, spy on him?" "Better than you lying awake every night worrying." "So, why do you have all that stuff on your computer?" "All that death and disaster stuff." "I had a snoop." "It reminds me, no matter how bad my shit gets... it has to be doable." "How bad does it get?" "Sometimes, if I hope for something, I know it won't happen... just cos I hoped for it." "You into all that as well?" "I once asked an RS teacher if God created the universe, then who created God?" "And he said, "It's because no-one created Him that makes Him God."" "They've got it all nailed down in the small print." "When my mum got sick... and all the pain she was in and..." "Dad said it was God's way of testing us." "Testing our faith." "And I failed." "Why keep wearing it?" "It was hers." "Wait, wait." "No, this isn't right." "This isn't right." "We can't..." "This isn't right." "We shouldn't be doing this." "This can't happen... ever." "Are you all ri..." "What's happening?" "No, no." "Don't come in, there's glass." " Did you do that?" " Leave me to this." "Will you see to the baby, please?" "What happened?" "I didn't touch it." " Right." " I didn't go near it." "I'm gonna clean this up in the morning." "You'd best sleep on the sofa tonight." "Where have you been?" "You do know Beth ended up in hospital?" "They thought she was having the babies." "False alarm." "How could you do that?" "Run off and leave her in that state?" "Well, I didn't know, did I?" "She was all right when I left." "What is going on with you?" "Why can't you tell me?" "Don't sweat the small stuff, Mum." "I'm fine." "Right, you lot, it's coming this arvo." "It's only 100cc at the moment, but once I've got a bit of paper together," " I'm gonna ramp that up." " Yeah, we gotta pimp her up." "Flags, reflectors, tail-fin exhausts." "She'll be cool." "As if my dad will ever go for that." "Why is it cars and motorbikes are always called she?" "Cos we like to ride 'em." "Is he always such a creep?" "Only 90% of the time." "Hey." "What's up with you, bro?" "I've just got some shit going on, man, that's all." "Such as?" "You know where I am, yeah." "Whenever." "Cheers, man." "Actually, Az, can you do me a favour?" "Sign me in, please." "Anyone asks, say..." "say I'm in the library." " Where's he going?" " I don't know." "Something's going on with him, though." "Are you OK?" "See this?" "In her room." "She never touched the stuff before, never went near it." "And you know that for a fact, do you?" "What do you really know about her?" "And I mean really know?" "Who her friends were, what she thinks, what she feels..." "Why are you acting like this?" "Because I will not let you make him a scapegoat." "You know perfectly well you've been no kind of father to that girl all these years." "And now you want to make up for it." "Yeah, right." "Well, it's too little, too late." "So much for us being a team." "You mentioned your stepsister yesterday, about having feelings for her." "Did something happen there?" "Nothing's gonna happen." "I told you." "And building those bridges with your dad that we talked about, how did that go?" "It didn't." "It happened again." "The control thing, I..." "I lost it and..." "And?" "I trashed his house." "And what triggered that?" "A row." " With your dad?" " Stepmother." "When you lose control like that, how does it feel?" "I mean, physically." "Describe it." "Everything gets, like, heightened... intense... sounds and colours... my hands go ice-cold... and I can hear my own heart... throbbing, pounding deep in here." "And emotionally, what do you feel when that happens?" "Ecstasy." "Sorry, receptionist is off today." "One minute." "Sorry about that." "I want you to take a look at this." "Here, deep inside the brain is something called the limbic system." "It regulates all of our emotions." "Passion, pleasure... anger, fear." "But if it gets impaired in some way, a hormone dysfunction or injury or whatever, it ceases to function effectively, your emotions can get out of whack." "They start to control you rather than vice versa." "I'd like to send you for some tests." "A blood test, a brain scan, just to rule anything like that out, OK?" "It's a routine precaution, that's all." "Just so we know the best course of treatment to go for." "I can call your dad, he can go with you..." "You said what happened here is between us, no-one else." "I stand by that." "I just thought you could use the support." "But what if it's something else?" "What if I was born with it and it can't be treated and I can never control it?" "Why would you think that?" "Whatever's going on, we're going to deal with it, OK?" "Go on." "In the middle!" "In the middle!" "Jack!" "Yes!" "That's my boy!" "Hey, Azfal." " So, is this the new scooter." " Yep." "Coming for a spin?" " Ready?" " OK." " Keep your legs on there." " All right." "Like this?" " Yeah." " OK." " Hold on tight." " All right." "Looking back, the signs were there... we just didn't see them." "Or we didn't want to see them." "We were all set on a collision course but we never saw it coming." "Not for him, for me... or any of us." "Bless us, Lord, and these thy gifts that we are about to receive from thy merciful bounty, through Jesus Christ, our Lord." "Amen." "Do you want to explain this?" "You first." "What, am I not allowed my own personal space now?" "Not if that's what you're gonna use it for, no." "Where'd you get it?" " Victor." " I want an answer." "It's mine." "Everybody does it, Dad, it's not a big deal." "It's illegal." "Excuse me, I call that a big deal." "It's the first step to hard drugs, to addiction." "Your brain is still developing." "You want to risk doing it long-term damage, permanent damage?" "Someone's been Googling." "I'll say this just once." "So long as you live under my roof you do not give, sell or provide my daughter with any more of this filth, ever." " Do you understand me?" " Except it's not your roof, is it?" "Cos my dad paid off the mortgage in the divorce." "So technically, it's his roof, and his house." "You're like... a lodger here." "Go to your room." "You stay." "There are less confrontational ways of handling things, Victor." "Yeah, well, we lodgers are a dumb lot, aren't we?" "You didn't need to do that." "No biggie." "Anyway, thanks." "Yeah." "I assume this isn't a professional visit." "I was hoping to talk about your lad." "Thought it best to do it in person, but if now's not a good time..." "I know teenagers can be rebellious, volatile and the rest." "I know that." "But he... he's... he's beyond reach." "Beyond mine anyway, and his mother's." "He's out all hours of the night, and when he is home, it's back-chat or you can't get a word out..." "As you say, par for the course for teenagers." "The other night he smashed up his room for no reason." "Is that par for the course, too?" "Yep." "Two minutes." "My daughter lives with us now." "Did he tell you?" "I can't have him doing that stuff around her, getting her into all that." "The weed." "And God knows whatever else he's into." "I'm the bad guy, aren't I?" "I'm the wicked stepfather." "I'm the last person he's gonna listen to." "Hannah won't... or can't confront him." "It's like, I don't know, she feels guilty about your marriage ending." "Not that she's anything to feel guilty about there." "I hardly think the blame game is particularly fruitful at this point." "Hannah mentioned your late father, his grandfather." "She said she saw some photographs of him, how he and the boy are dead spit of each other." "Two peas in a pod, she says." "She said something about him having mental health problems." "Do you think that's what we could be looking at here, too?" "That's quite a leap" "I'm just trying to find a way..." "There's no empirical evidence that genetic factors are the cause of behavioural issues." "It's not only simplistic to go down that road, it's ill-informed." "You know something's not right with him." "Why else would you be sending him to that shrink?" "Or do you pay him to listen so you don't have to?" "This conversation is over." "I came here in good faith because I'm running out of road with that boy." "I've got my own family to think of." "They're my priority now as he should be yours." "Er... stay here." "Are you OK?" "She started freaking out in the hotel, said we had to come back." "She's been at it since we got here." "Did I do right to call you?" "Only she was weirding me out with it and..." "Yeah, of course, of course." "Go watch TV for a bit, OK?" "It's all good." "I'm here now." "Look at it!" "And they've barely started on the damn plastering." "It's gonna be weeks at this rate." "They're probably just sitting on their backsides all day because no-one's keeping tabs on them." "Well, we could stay at the hotel and do that, sweetheart." "I could pop by on my way to work, keep an eye on progress." "I could pop by on my way to work, keep an eye on progress." "Progress?" "There's a crack in the ceiling in the bedroom." "And look at these scratches." "They applied the seal before they removed them." "The only way is to be here to check on them before they screw up anything else." "OK." "But stressing out about it isn't gonna do you or the babies any good, is it?" "Come on, let's get you upstairs." "Seriously, Beth, you need to rest." "The plumber said it wasn't the seal that broke on the water tank." "He said it looked like the thing just exploded." "Literally exploded." "An act of God, he called it." "What if it wasn't God?" "What if it was... something else?" "Like what?" "It was bad luck, that's all." "It happens." "No-one is immune from it." "Let's get you upstairs, you need to rest." "It was all so perfect." "If it can happen once, it can happen again, can't it?" "No." "Lightning never strikes twice, does it?" "You must be telepathic." "I've only just this minute been trying to call your father." "Now, not to alarm you, pet, but your gran's had what's called a TIA, a mini stroke." "Hey, Gran." "What have you been up to?" "You're going to get through this, OK?" "That's an order." "Why not close your eyes for a bit?" "I'll sit with you." "Hi." "So, is this how it's going to be with us?" "The big freeze?" "The thing about Azfal is... he'll chat up anything in a skirt." "Thanks for the heads up." "Sometimes I do stuff." "Bad stuff." "Like what?" "You don't want to know." "I do, as it goes." "Some graffiti near my dad's house." ""The urge to destroy is creative"." "Do you believe that?" "I might, if I knew what it meant." "This stuff you do... how bad is it?" "You know what I think?" "I don't think you have a bad bone in your body." " You don't know the half of it." " So tell me." "If I did..." "I'd have to kill you." "You think we can do this whole brother-and-sister thing?" "We have to." "Easier said than done." "I didn't say it was easy." "Maybe I can make it easy." " Come in, Mr Jarrett." " Thank you." "My boys." "He forgot his packed lunch again." "See you in a bit." "He's not in a very good place at the moment, Faith." "He really doesn't need any more... complications in his life." "However we got here, we're a family now, but... we're hanging on by a thread." "We used to come here every weekend, you and I." "Do you remember?" "It was that roundabout, you used to love it." " All right, ready?" " Yeah, go." "So, you're seeing the shrink again?" "Is it helping?" "She'll be all right, won't she?" "Gran." "She's a lot tougher than people think." "Where'd you get this?" "What made him do it?" ""The balance of his mind was disturbed," to quote the coroner." "His note said something about by ending his life, he might save the lives of others." "He suffered from delusions." "He was obsessed with the idea that he had psychic powers, that he could move objects through thought control." "Not that it made him happy." "If anything, he was tortured by it." "That's why I became a surgeon." "The safe harbour of logic... reason." "The science of deduction." "Then again, maybe we all rebel against our fathers when we discover they're not perfect." "I was thinking... maybe I could come live with you for a bit." "Because of Victor?" "No, it's just... things are kind of heavy at home right now." "I would like nothing more." "You have no idea." "Beth is very fragile at the moment since that damn business with the water tank." "And you legging it away like that didn't help." "I'll try harder with her." "I will." "She just... she can't deal with... chaos, uncertainty." "If she's not in control she..." "she finds it threatening." "When the babies come, when we're in a routine, when she's more settled, I'll broach it with her then." "A couple of months, max." "You can hang on that long, can't you?" "No worries." "Late for clinic." "Dinner next week?" "Yeah?" "I'll text you." "It was just a white lie." "Just one stupid white lie." "I only did it to protect him." "Instead, I pushed him into the abyss." " Hey." " Where are you?" "I'm at the library finishing an assignment." "Look, whatever's getting on between us, we need to, you know, deal with it." "One way or the other." "Can we talk about this later?" "OK." "So I'm your assignment now, am I?" "I don't know how you..." "All right, I'm off." "See you later?" "Yeah, yeah." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Azfal!" "Azfal!" "I'm a nurse." "I came as soon as I could." "I can't make it stop." "It just keeps coming, it keeps happening." "What?" "What keeps happening?" " I did a wrong thing, a bad thing." " All right, take a breath, OK?" "Calm down." " What kind of bad thing?" " I didn't mean to, I didn't mean it." "Hey, stop that." "Enough." "Stop." "Just tell me what you did." "I can't help you if you don't tell..." "I didn't want this." "I never asked for it." "I got it from him, my grandfather." "He had it, too." "He could do it, too." "Move things with this." "You don't believe me?" " You want proof?" "I can give you proof." " You don't have to prove anything to me." "I need you to believe me." "Don't you get it?" "I can't be alone with it any more." "All right, fine." "Prove it." "Now do you believe me?"