"Hi, Leah." "It's, uh, Max." "Hi, Max." "Hi." "Look, I just wanted to check a couple of things." "Does... your extended family know about this?" "It's nothing to do with them." "The house is mine." "Are you scared?" "Not scared." "But I don't think I'll sleep very well tonight." "This thing has been kind of always something that I've wanted to do." "I remember when I was, I think, like, seven or eight, my mum shuffling me into her stupid hippie car, and we drove off and went into this complete isolation." "Somewhere abroad." "But it felt like a completely different world." "And one day we were just lying on the beach." "My mum went out to swim, and I remember looking up and down the beach... and into the sea and behind me, in the trees, and she was nowhere." "And then sort of embracing that." "It was my kingdom, but it was the closest thing to heaven I've ever experienced." "And I guess since then I've never had that experience, never even gotten close." "But with this, it's..." "I know that we can have that." "I've only got enough petrol to go one way, so there's pretty much no going back." "No going back." "Do we just, I don't know, act on impulse, or..." "How's it gonna work?" "Maybe we should figure out the order?" "So we'll pick names from the hat." "There'll be a different couple in the marital bedroom every single night." "Once you're in there, you're completely free." "We have to stick to that." " Good night." " Good night." "Night, Jack." "Hi." "Hi, Jack." "It's me." "Sorry, maybe it's weird to call now." "I heard you were going away." "Um, it's..." "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." "Sorry I haven't been in touch." "I know I should have called." "I'm just really sorry... about... me and everything." "Okay." "Um, don't know what to say now." "Okay." "I'm gonna go." "There's a room downstairs." "It's really large, and, um, I thought it would be perfect for the evening entertainments." "As you can see, there are pieces of paper on each of your chairs with five questions on them." "And I thought that by answering these questions, it might help us to, like, start to get to know each other properly." "To begin that." "So, if we can answer the questions as honestly as possible," "I think it would be quite valuable." "Hi." "Hey." "What are you up to?" "I'm just getting some stuff ready for my turn." "I remember a family that lived in that cottage over there." "And when we used to come down in the summer," "I used to see them, like, every day." "We were outdoors a lot, running around, when I was little, always sort of naked, having water fights." "They were basically like a second family." "How did you feel last night went?" "Okay." "What do you think?" "Maybe people need to let their guard down a bit." "It will be better for the long run." "So." " Good evening." " Good evening." "Good evening." "Good evening." "And a very good evening to you." "Welcome." "Tonight we'll be doing some life drawing." "And... we'll be having a nude model." "Very artistic, tasteful, classy." "So, uh, Leah, if you'll come up, we'd like to draw you." "Uh, you don't have to do that if you don't want to." "Mmm." "No, I'll do it." "No, no, no." "Um, take this robe, go outside, undress," " put on the robe, come back, then take the robe off." " Okay." " Just do it, like, the real way." " Okay." "Terrific." "I'm really bad at drawing." "I'm really good." "Terrific." "So, let's begin." "We'll hold this pose for five minutes." "Max." "Max." "Max, are you awake?" "Max." " Max, are you awake?" " Mmm." " Max?" " Mmm?" " Are you awake?" " Yes." "I'm really tired." "I think I'm going to go to sleep." "Are you kidding?" "Are you kidding me?" "So where did you get my scarf from?" "Right." "Uh, I took it out of your suitcase when I was going through your stuff earlier." " Mmm." "You've been going through my stuff?" " Yeah." "I did." "Yeah." "You don't mind, do you?" "As long as you've been going through everyone else's stuff." "Yours was definitely the most boring." "Yeah, I don't really have any good stuff." "Yeah." "This is cute." "Stop it." " I've got some really ugly stuff in here." " I don't think so." "I'm just trying to find the underwear really." " Secret note?" " Don't look at that." "It's boring." "Who's Simon?" "Simon is an old friend." "Your boyfriend?" "Ex." "For a long time?" "What was he like?" "Boring." "What did he do?" "He was a musician." "Like a violinist?" " No." " A rocker." "Were you, like, in a band also?" "No." " Were you at the university?" " No." "What were you doing?" "Nothing." "Leah?" "Who lives here?" "I just..." "It wasn't like this." "There were people here that I knew." "And now everyone has gone." "But I'm here." "I feel like... none of us have really got a lot at the moment." "But... somehow we've found ourselves here, and we're together." "I'm gonna head back to the house." " Are you gonna come?" " Yep." " Wow." " Oh, my God!" " Jack." " Look at the fire." " Charlotte." " I love this den." "Come on." " Thank you." " Marshmallows." "So from now on, we are 12 years old." "And our parents have taken us on holiday, for a bank holiday weekend." "To... the Welsh valleys of Abergavenny." "Okay." "So they've got their camp all set up, and we've insisted that we're two miles away from their camp... so we can gossip about our top five boys and our top five girls in our class." "Well, if we're really gonna talk about boys, then me and Leah need to retire to the tent." " Yeah, I wanna go in the tent." " No boys allowed." " Okay." " Can I come?" "No!" "No boys allowed." "Are you a girl?" "Right." "These can be our midnight snacks, midnight feasts." "Yeah." "Midnight feasts." "Can we take the blanket?" " All right." " Which boys do you like best?" " Well, I like quite a few, but..." " Do ya?" " I'm not gonna tell you mine first." " Why?" "'Cause I'm..." "I think you might laugh." "Girls." "Have you been down to that field?" "With the forest?" "I saw this old guy there the other day." "He was, like, tall and scraggly, with this, like, beard." "And he told me this... this story about 75 years ago... four people came to the same forest." "And I think it was two couples, and they were completely in love." "And one of the girls, I think her name was, um, was Cassie." "Cassie!" "♪ Rose, Rose, Rose Red ♪" "♪ Will I ever see thee wed?" "♪" "♪ Aye, marry, that thou shalt ♪" "♪ When thou art dead ♪" " ♪ Rose, Rose, Rose Red ♪ - ♪ Shall I ever see thee wed?" "♪" "♪ Aye, marry, that thou shalt ♪" " ♪ When thou art dead ♪ - ♪ Aye, marry, that thou shalt ♪" "♪ Rose, Rose, Rose Red ♪" "♪ Shall I ever see thee wed?" "♪" "♪ Aye, marry, that thou shalt ♪" "♪ When thou art dead ♪♪" "Shall we sleep in the tent?" "No." "We're upstairs tonight." "Shall I go and lock them in?" "No, not tonight." "Do you think your parents would have liked us?" "Yeah, I do." "We've generated a lot of energy over the past few weeks, and now I think we're gonna be able to do something with it." "I just don't know what that could be." "And it very well could be destructive." "Charlotte." "How're you doing?" "Guys." " This is Simon." " Hey, I'm Simon." "How're you doing?" "Hey." " Nice to meet you." " And you." "Um, he's gonna stay for a couple of days." "Is that all right?" "This is an amazing place you've got here." "Yeah, of course." "Of course it is." "Thanks a lot." "Um, should I stick my bag somewhere?" "Yeah." "Cool, guys, nice to meet you." "This is..." "This is all very civilized." "I sort of half-thought, when I was coming here," "I'd find some sort of Charles Manson-type commune." "But it's not... not like that at all." "Good." "This is great." "How does it work with the cooking?" "Do you share it around..." " and... have a rota or something?" " Yeah." "In pairs." "Oh, yes." "So who-who..." "Who has the short straw with Charlotte?" "No, we all..." "We rotate, and we all cook with her." " All right." " And she's a brilliant cook." " Aren't ya?" " I am getting better." "H-How's your chocolate cake coming along?" "It's much better than it was for your birthday." "I can tell you that." "No spares from Sainsbury's." "Guys, do you mind if I don't do tonight?" " It's fine." " Thanks." "Wh-What's that?" "The thing that we do each evening for each other." "And actually, I kind of don't think I'll be able to do it properly." "Well, n-not 'cause I'm here?" "Mmm." "No, I just..." "It's fine." " Let's skip it tonight." " Oh, really?" "It's not a problem." "I don't..." "I don't want to stop you guys doing what you normally do." "No imposition." "I'd be really quite intrigued to see what you get up to in your evenings anyway." "It's cool." "Well, well, what is it?" "Sort of..." "Some sort of performance thing you do?" "No." "It doesn't matter, Simon." "It's sort of a bit silly to be honest." "Oh, come on." "Don't be shy." "It's not silly." "Is it karaoke?" "No." "Um, p-poetry?" "Hmm." "Do you ever write poetry for Charlie?" "I wrote the odd song." "Love to hear..." "Love to hear one." "We all would." " Well, let's..." "Let's do a show." " Yeah, that would be great." "Where-Where are you from in-in America, man?" "It's Jack." "Jack, sorry." "I'm not very good with names, Charlie will tell you." "Um, I'm from New En..." "New England." "Uh-huh." "On the East Coast." "That's right." "Yep." "Did you and Charlie ever go to America together?" "No, we didn't." "Did we?" "We went to Europe a lot." "Toured a bit in Europe." "With your, uh, with your act?" " Mmm." "Yeah, my band, yeah." " Cool." "And you took her along?" "On the tour?" "Yeah, sometimes she came with me." "That's nice." "She must have kept you out of trouble." "Are you following the presidential elections?" "Mmm." "No, we don't want to know about that kind of stuff." " What-What about the..." " Just sort of general stuff." "Just not of interest to us." "Okay?" "Yeah, I don't care." "What, because you're not interested in politics?" "I'm not really interested in America." "Fair enough." "So... you like these guys, yeah?" "Yeah." " You like Jack?" " Yeah." "What-What's the situation with Leah and Jack?" " What do you mean?" " I mean, are they, are they together?" "Not really." "And what about Jack and Max?" " Are they together?" " Not really." "Do you remember this?" "♪ Sesame seed ♪" " So because you're new here..." " Hmm?" "We just have a small initiation." "We've all been through it." "It's uh, just a little game." "Just a bit of fun." " Yeah, painless?" " You're not gonna get hurt or anything." "All right, cool." "So, um, I guess, Leah, would you please put the blindfold on?" "All right." " Does that feel okay?" " Yeah, that's fine, yeah." "What is your name?" "Simon." " How old are you, Simon?" " What's your name, Simon?" " Sorry, pardon?" " What's the address in the house that you were born?" " How old are you, Simon?" " Uh, 26." " I'm looking for your name." " When is the last time you slept in bed with..." " Your name?" " Sorry, I can't hear." "Say that again?" "When is the last time you slept in bed..." " I'm trying to work out your name." " Have you been to prison?" " Simon, I'm just trying to find out your name." " Never been to prison." "Simon, have you always been as unhappy as you are now?" "I thought it was Joseph, but it's Simon..." "Have you always been as unhappy as you are now?" "Eeeee!" "Is that it?" "Is that the end of the game?" " Boo!" " What the fuck?" "What are you doing?" "It was..." "It was just a game." " Just a game." "Just a game." " Just a game?" "That was fun." "How long have you known Charlotte for?" " I didn't actually know her before we came, you know?" " Oh." "How long were you together for?" "About five years." " That's a long time." " Yeah, it is." "Yeah." "You bite your nails like me." "Yeah, I do, yeah." "In times of stress." "Are you a painter?" "No, a musician." "Yeah." "I thought you were an artist of some kind." " Look..." "Yeah, because you've got the same long fingers as me." " Yeah?" "We've almost got the same sized hands." " What are you doing?" " I like you, Simon." " What are you doing?" "Don't!" " I like you." "What are you doing?" "I came here to see Charlotte, you know?" " Did you lock the door?" " I didn't lock it, no." "Come on." "It's locked." "Can you come and open it?" " I can't unlock the door." " What do you mean you can't unlock it?" "It's locked from the outside." "But that's okay, because we get to spend... the whole night together in this room." "And we can do whatever you want." "I could play out any fantasy you wanted." " Whatever you want to do." " Come on." "Open the door!" "Come on." "I'm tired of this!" "Open the door!" "We're gonna have sex 'cause we're weird!" " A strange, weird, odd, surreal cult." " Come on!" " That's all we are." "Absolute freaks." " Come on!" "Weird freaks." "Do you want me to go?" "For fuck's sake, Charlotte." "Do you know what's been going on?" "Do you know what they're doing?" "I've just been locked in a bedroom with Leah." "You know, they're..." "They're trying to freak me out with some game downstairs." "Trying to humiliate me." "Ah!" "Look..." "Charlie, like, I came here... because I just wanted some time to talk to you." "You know, talk things through and..." "I missed you so much." "You..." "Things are really..." "You know, I've got..." "I've got some momentum now, you know?" "And I..." "And I'm in a new place." "And I've got a beautiful big room." "And you know, this..." "What's going on here is not real." "You know, we..." "We have something." "Something precious." "And, you know," "I've got a whole bunch of songs ready to record." "And the singing..." "I know..." "I know how much you wanted to... to do it." "We-We can make it happen." "We can make something real." "Because this is not going anywhere, Charlie." "These people..." "They're not good for you." "I'm sorry." "What do you mean?" "I'm the happiest here I've ever been in my life." "You're the happiest you've ever been in your life?" "Well, look, when this all falls apart..." "You know, 'cause it will fall apart, next week or the week after that..." "I want you to remember this." "Don't forget it." "Don't forget me here." "Don't forget me coming here for you." "Don't you dare forget it!" "Before... it's properly over, I just wanted to say some things." "Um..." "I'm really, really grateful... for everything that you did for me." "Um." "And I wanted to say thank you for... being there for me for such a long time... when no one else was." "And... for teaching me so much... about the world." "And I'm sorry that things change." "But they do." "But... they're changed but not forgotten." " Bravo!" " Bravo!" " Encore!" " More!" "I remember when I first arrived here," "I thought I'd open the door... into this utopia." "But..." "I kind of realize now... that you have to... you have to work for perfection." "Hey." " What ya doing?" " Making a bridge." "We might be here forever." "Really?" "Do you wanna come and sit on my bridge?" "Is it safe?" "I don't know." "I think so." " Have you ever kissed a girl before?" " I don't think so." "Would you like me to teach you how to kiss a girl?" "How can you do that?" "You're just a barber." "Well, I-I have more talents than just shaving." "You're not very good at shaving." "Don't do it." "Why don't you ever kiss me like that?" " Maybe I will later tonight." " Oh, maybe you will?" " Maybe." " Oh, maybe you will." "Oh." "I think I can see your pubic hair sticking out of your underwear." " Oh, really?" " Yeah." "But maybe you can let me confirm it?" "I think you're wrong." "Could be." "I think you definitely are." "And welcome back." "We are very lucky to have three wonderful guests this evening." "I'd like to invite my first out now." "A very lovely and chesty young woman," "Charlotte Robertson, please come join us." "Charlotte, you are looking absolutely ravishing." "It's great to be here, Jack." "Please try to be honest, open, and we'll get along just fine." "What's your take on current affairs?" " I'm kind of out of touch." " It's so hard to keep up these days, isn't it?" "It really is." "Well, just tell me." "What have you been doing?" "Well, yesterday," "Leah and I... made the world's biggest daisy chain." "That's wonderful." "Thank you so much for that." "Let's bring out our next guest, the always-amazing Leah Kimber." " Leah, my darling, thank you so much for coming." " Jack." "Thank you." "Perhaps, I was thinking, after the show, maybe the three of us could go somewhere, have a little fun?" "Ooh!" "But I think we'll have a good time." "No stranger to a good time himself, my next guest, Max Morris, has come here to talk to us about his many failures with women." "Max, please join us." "Max, baby, how are you?" "I'm feeling..." "I'm feeling good." " And how is everything?" " Everything's good." "So, is it true... that you've sabotaged every relationship that you've ever had?" "Uh, I don't know where you got that information, Jack, but no." "So, I'm sorry to have to bring this up, but it's the elephant in the room." "There have been some rumors circulating." "You know, you two have been spending quite a lot of time together." "Is there, uh, some kind of romance under the surface?" " Uh, I don't know." " So then, yes." "And you know we don't lie on this program." "I can't believe it." "Absolutely wonderful." "Do you think you could describe, uh, in some kind of graphic detail how it is?" "Yeah, look this is strange." "Uh, maybe we should do something different... and start asking questions of Jack." " Maybe let's call it the Jack interview." " Interview?" "Well, I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today." "It's been an absolute pleasure." "Charlotte, Leah, Max, it's been wonderful." "I do hope you'll come back soon." "Thank you and good night." "I feel like you're my sister." "Mm-hmm." "And I think..." "No, I know that... it'll always be that way." "That we'll always be best friends." "Best friends forever." "I know that, years from now, you'll still be my sister." "Never leave me." "Whoo!" "Ooh!" "Whoo!" "I need some help." " With what?" " Now, in there." "Mmm." "Come on." " Come on." " Right." "Give me a lift." " Give you a lift?" "I'll give you a piggyback." " Guys." " Come on." " Coming!" " Really?" " "If I profane, with my unworthiest hand..."" " What does that mean?" " I think he takes her hand." "Oh." ""This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:" "My lips, two blushing pil..."" " That's pretty forward." " Yeah." " He's making a move." " Yeah." "He's smooth." "Charlotte, you're 15 minutes late." "For what?" "For your date." "Sit down." "To us." "Sorry to disturb." "Um, are you ready to order, sir?" "Yeah, uh, we will have two of the specials." " Two specials." " Yeah." " That's an excellent choice." " Yes." "It's really, really special." " Okay." " Yeah." "A little too special, um, but you'll see." " I can't believe that you remembered." " Yeah." "That's so sweet!" "Shall we?" "Mm, that is gorgeous." " Mmm." "We're late." " Mmm." "I booked tickets for the best show in the West End... of the room." " "O, then, dear saint..."" " I'm not being a prude." ""Let lips do what hands do." "They pray..."" ""grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."" ""You kiss by the book."" " Thank you, and I'll do it again." " Mmm." "I think I should walk you home." " So, this is your place, yeah?" " Yes, this is where I live." " Mm." "No, it's gorgeous, yeah." " Thanks." "You gonna invite me in for coffee or..." " Yes!" " Okay." "Do you fancy coming in for coffee?" "Yes, I would love to come up for coffee." "But, um, first, there's something I wanted to tell you, quite honestly." "So, you've probably already realized that this is all for you." "And I've realized that everything I ever do... from now on in my life, I want to do for you." "Because I am completely in love with you, Charlotte." "I love your stupid little jokes, and... and your silly little smile." "Your eyes." "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." "So..." "Oh, my God." "Charlotte, will you marry me?" "Yes." "Yes?" "Okay, wait." "So, as you've probably realized, um, I'm very happy." "But this can't work now." "Because when we came here, the idea was that we were missing something in our lives." "And that thing that I was missing... was Charlotte." "And I've found her, and my life is perfect." "So there's no need anymore for this." "We don't need it, which is why..." "Charlotte and I are gonna leave." "And I hope you can be happy for us." "So that's it then." "Everyone will leave tomorrow then, I guess." " Uh, I..." "I mean, I was sensational." " That went..." "I cri..." "I'm crying." " You are crying." " I win." "But then, tears, schmears, darling." " That was absolutely perfect." " That was so good." "Did you see them?" "Yeah." "I feel a bit bad." "No, I don't." "I don't!" "I feel..." "It's great." "It's great." "We should go back in and tell them." "No, we shouldn't, we shouldn't, we shouldn't." "We should... definitely go back." "Okay." "Wait." "Smile." "Go, dear." " That was mean." " It was... a joke." "It wasn't funny." "It was." "Come on." "It's nothing." "It's not like we're actually gonna do it." "Not a very good joke." "It was quite a good joke, wasn't it?" " It was unfair." " We wouldn't do a joke like that." "No, we wouldn't." " But." " But?" "What if it wasn't a joke?" "Come in." "They got Christmas in here." " They did get Christmas in here." " Yeah." " Merry Christmas." " Thanks, Charlotte." "♪ In the bleak midwinter ♪" "♪ Frosty wind made moan ♪" "♪ Earth stood hard as iron ♪" "♪ Water like a stone ♪♪" "But I just think maybe we can sing it together." "Yeah." "We can take turns, and you do it first." "♪ In the bleak midwinter ♪" "♪ Frosty wind made moan ♪" "♪ Earth stood hard as iron ♪" "♪ Water like a stone ♪" "♪ Snow had fallen ♪" "♪ Snow on snow ♪" "♪ Snow on snow ♪" "♪ In the bleak midwinter ♪" "♪ Long ago ♪" "♪ What can I give him ♪" "♪ Poor as I am?" "♪" "♪ If I were a shepherd ♪" "♪ I would bring a lamb ♪" "♪ If I were a wise man ♪" "♪ I would do my part ♪" "♪ Yet what can I give him?" "♪" "♪ Give my heart ♪♪" "If we carry this on indefinitely," "I think we're going to have to... treat it like something organic... and let it continue to change." "If we were to continue forever, then I think together... we could move towards paradise." "And no one would be hurt or rejected, because everyone would still be together." "We'd still be in each other's lives... but new relationships would form." "We'll wake up, and there will be no obstacles in our way." "And we'll have forgotten that there ever were any obstacles." "And..." "I reckon... we're pretty close to that." "If this were to continue forever, we would grow old." "And we'd die." "But..." "I think we'd all die together, holding each other." "I think that's what I'd like."