"And starting now, the 'Puberty Blues' season finale." "Debbie!" "Put my board down now!" "What's the big deal?" " Girls don't surf." "You're lucky Gary didn't drop you on the spot." "Am I really going to spending the rest of my life drawing food that wears hats?" "You're up for a new job?" " I am." " I'd have to shut down my place." "It's a big leap." "Is that it?" "You just stick it in, wave it around a few minutes, don't even look at me, and it's over?" " It's just rooting'." "There's Freida." "Why is there a horse on our lawn?" "(LAUGHTER)" "At least wait till I stop." " Sue!" "You wait right there." "I know you don't mind Sue roaming the streets with drunk men on horseback." "But she needs to leave Debbie out of her misadventures." "Nick!" "You gotta be fearless." "OK." "What's it like?" " Stopped giving a fuck, eh?" "Gary!" "SONG: # See the lady in the streetcar light" "# Got a whole lot to lose" "# Television and red, red wine" "# So, won't you tell me" "# Won't you tell me the truth?" "# 10 years in the jailer's eye # Are you old enough?" "# And I'm thinkin' 'bout my baby # Are you old enough?" "# Lookin' at my life go by" "# Are you old enough?" "Ooh-ooh" "# Are you old enough?" "# Ooh" "# Are you old enough?" "# Are you old enough?" "# Are you old enough?" "He loves me." "He loves me not." "He loves me." "He loves me." "(SINGS) # Lovin' you" "# Is easy 'cause you're beautiful" "# And everything that you do" "# I'm so in love with" "# You... #" "# La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la" "# La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la la-la" "# Do-do-do-do... #" "(SQUEALS HIGH NOTE)" "'Bye!" "I'm gonna miss the bus!" "Present tense no longer applies." "(SIGHS)" "It's gone?" "But I wanna see Gary before school." "Aww." "I don't know how I can help you, except turn back time." "You can do that?" "!" "Uh-huh." "Go on, eat quickly." "I'll drive you." "(GROANS)" "(SINGS) # No-one else can make me feel" "# The colour that you bring" "(MARTIN SINGS) # Stay with me while we grow old" "# And we will live each day in springtime" "# La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la" "# La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la la-la" "# Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh... #" "Brenda Murray's trying to close down the nudist beach." "Here's another one of her petitions." "I've never noticed anyone down there in the nuddy." "But she says that's because they're all hiding in the bushes, tugging on their things." "Do you..." "Do you think that's true?" "Oh, imagine that!" "(LAUGHS) Naked where anyone might be able to see you!" "Oh!" "I just don't know if I could do that." "(LAUGHS)" "Mate." "(SIGHS) So the contracts arrived at home." "They've signed it." "They're just waiting on you now." "Bloody hell." "What, are you having second thoughts?" "I mean, you can." "It's not too late." "Nuh." "It's now or never, Pammy." "Well, I'll be off to Franklins, then." "So you tell them." "Now." "Tell them today." "It's gone on far too long." "'Bye!" "(GROWLS PLAYFULLY)" "You're hogging it." "I'm not." "Well, you are." "And you slobbered on it." "I didn't." "She always gives it back to me with a bit of slobber on it." "(ALL LAUGH)" "You're dropped." "Slack-arse moll." "(GIRL MUTTERS) Molls." "DEBBIE:" "Sue!" "(PANTS)" "Why did you do that?" "I don't know!" "It just came out." "My mouth formed the words by itself." "I didn't even know I was gonna do it!" "He must be spewing." "You did it in front of everyone." "Now I have no boyfriend." "Can't be midday already, Kenny." "We, uh, just wanted to wish you luck with the new job." "(SIGHS)" "You knew?" "All of Cronulla knows about it!" "You cheeky bastard!" "Come here." "We knew we'd lose you to the big smoke, you wanker." "It's the end of an era!" "Mwah." "Karen, mostly I'm gonna miss you and your little titties." "Oh, you big perve!" "To Roger." "ALL:" "To Roger." "Never forget where you came from." "'Cause we won't." "Bottoms up." "Cheers, Rog." "Morning, Mr Martin illigius peelii peelii." "Are you alright?" "You seem worried." "Yeah, I'm sorry, Annie." "I... ..have been avoiding you." "I needed time to think." "I'm gonna take that as a very honest compliment." "Do you wanna have lunch today?" "No, not today." "I know that you're not the kind of guy to make a move on me, and... ..that's what I like about you, Marty." "I just want you to know that whatever you want this between us to be," "I do too." "I think you've got the wrong idea about me." "Oh?" "You can keep your job." "I'm not gonna take this any further than a warning." "My job?" "You need to keep yourself in check if you're to be taken seriously at work." "You can't let your emotions put you at an even further disadvantage than you already are." "I'm sorry if I offended you, Martin." "Nothing happened." "No, nothing happened." "I have to get these fish out of this bucket." "OK." "You're slowly being swept up in crystal-clear water." "When you look down, you can see the sea floor..." "..and it's smooth...and round." "The bottom of the earth." "You can feel the waves..." "rolling above you... ..one after another after another after another." "You're underneath the whole world." "And it's only you." "It's yours." "You own it." "(LAUGHS)" "Your turn!" "Come on!" "Imagine you are on a beach." "You've been there for four hours." "It's hot, and you really need to wee." "Your boyfriend is showing signs of coming in, but then you realise he's just making sure you're still watching." "(BOTH LAUGH)" "He goes back to surfing and you sit on the beach for another three hours." "Mmm." "I better go get him a Chiko Roll." "Ahh!" "(LAUGHS)" "(LAUGHS)" "(SIGHS)" "Oh, dear." "Something's happened." "I dropped Danny." "Oh, darling." "Come here." "(CAR DOOR CLOSES)" "ROGER:" "Hello!" "Family chinwag?" "(LAUGHS) Dad's pissed." "So you told them, then?" "I didn't have to." "They knew." "They told me." "So we had a couple of coldies, Ken witnessed the contracts, courier came - it's done." "Oh!" "Goodbye present from Karen." "(LAUGHS) Well, we're thrilled for you, darling." "We're taking a leap into the great unknown and I want you to know I couldn't have done it without my two favourite girls." "Well, you deserve it, darling." "It's finally time you get to spread those artistic wings of yours." "I'm making bloody marys." "Good idea." "I can see pubic hair." "What?" "Give me a look." "(SIGHS) I can't find your father's chequebooks." "Aren't they in the top drawer?" "And...when I phoned the surgery, no-one's answering." "He always disappears, Mum, but he comes back too." "(CHUCKLES) Yes, but he's never taken all the chequebooks before." "Can I borrow your car to drop Debbie home?" "What, Debbie's here?" "Oh, um..." "Thank you for having me, Mrs Hennessey." "That's a pleasure, Debbie." "So the keys are on the hook." "(GARY WHISPERS) OK." "'Bye." "'Bye." "(SIGHS)" "Oh!" "Bugger!" "DEBBIE:" "Mum!" "Um...where's Mum?" "Syllabus meeting." "(COUGHS)" "(COUGHS) Um, Mr Biggs is here." "From next door." "Look, there's kids all over the street." "How do you know it was David?" "Can we not tell Mum?" "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS)" "(JUDY CALLS) Hello?" "In here." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "A tree gave its life for whatever that is." "It's reading material for the syllabus committee." "What an inspiring night!" "Such wonderful people." "So many ideas." "And then they gave you even more paperwork." "Oh, I don't mind." "I'm enjoying myself." "What about the children and I?" "You work all day, and now you're gonna work all night too?" "It's one night a week." "Well, I can't do it again." "It nearly killed me." "It was chaos!" "I know it feels hard now, but this is who we are." "We're people who can take it." "You are!" "I burnt their dinner." "The kids ate cereal." "For dinner!" "(SIGHS)" "But you survived." "That's all I'm asking you to do." "(SIGHS)" "(SPEAKS INAUDIBLY)" "There he is." "Where's Gary?" "Cripes." "My heart's beating too fast." "What if I spew?" "I might spew." "Can I spew on you?" "Imagine if he stood up in front of everyone and confessed his undying love." "Would you take him back?" "How do I tell him that I'd get back together for a Violet Crumble?" "Ohh!" "I bet he's got a Violet Crumble in his bag right now ready to give to you." "He's probably gonna surprise you with it." "Yeah. (SQUEALS)" "GIRL:" "Whoo!" "(LAUGHS)" "Backstabber." "Finders keepers." "(LAUGHS)" "I'm really worried about Sue." "We collected some of her tears in a science beaker today and it almost reached 1/64th of an inch." "In the scheme of things, this is just a tiny blip in Sue's life." "Blip?" "He's not a..." "Do you think Gary's a blip?" "I hope that you'll have many important blips in your life." "And Gary will always be the first." "He'll always be special." "He wasn't at school today and I missed him." "Ooh, I miss that feeling of missing." "How'd you know Dad was the right one?" "Well, because after I met him," "I stopped wondering." "He was smarter than the others." "Handsome." "(DEBBIE GIGGLES)" "And quiet." "You hate Dad when he's quiet." "It's the things you fall in love with that drive you crazy in the end." "I know." "I used to love watching Gary surf, but now I'm sick of sharing him with the beach." "Tell him." "Stir the pot." "He's not a good talker." "Talking's important." "Stir the pot!" "(LAUGHS) Mum!" "Do you want me to end up with no boyfriend like Sue?" "(LAUGHS) Hey!" "(LAUGHS) Hey!" "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Ferris?" "No, it's me, sorry." "Gary." "Darling, Debbie rang for you." "Righto." "Have I been so miserable that you went out and bought your poor old mum some flowers?" "No." "They're from Dad." "They got a bit saggy on the train." "So you saw your father?" "Yeah, well, you'd been worrying about him so much" "I went to the surgery." "So now you can stop." "He's been really, really busy with work, Mum." "He, um, reckons there's been a run on broken teeth." "Says people must have been punching each other out a lot lately." "(LAUGHS) Yeah, that sounds like your father." "Can always turn a bad situation into a funny one." "Ohh." "Oh!" "(LAUGHS)" "You wanna know something?" "Danny's with Cheryl because he's really hurting." "Boys just have a funny way of showing it, that's all." "I just want him to ring up so much." "My teeth keep clenching." "My jaw hurts." "I just keep thinking... ..that he'll knock on our door." "And he'll sing 'Tonight's the Night'." "And he'll tell me that he's sorry." "And that he loves me more than a thousand Violet Crumbles." "And then you and Dad'll come in." "You'll ask if we want Cheezels." "We'll say, "Yes, please."" "And then Danny'll tell the whole family that Cheryl's got some ugly, incurable rash on her face." "And that it's spreading." "And it's just a little bit painful." "Well, we all want that, darling." "Why'd he have to pick her?" "They hardly even like each other." "You'd be surprised what some boys would do to get your attention." "Hello?" "Gary?" "You're late, mister." "(EXHALES)" "You missed the bus." "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "Looks like it feels nice." "It feels like being wrapped up in this blanket with you." "Well, you can't stay here all day." "You'd better get to school, huh?" "(GRUNTS) Shit." "Please come." "(GRUNTS AND LAUGHS)" "Deb!" "What are you doing over here?" "I'm not sitting with them." "Cheryl's a bitch." "Well, you can't sit over here like this." "You look like a..." "I'm Frieda." "You're not Frieda." "I am." "I don't know who I am anymore." "Where do I sit?" "You sit with me." "Yeah, but you sit with Gary, and Gary sits with Danny, and Danny sits with Cheryl, and Cheryl is a bitch." "Well, you can't sit over here by yourself." "Come on." "(RADIO PLAYS SOFTLY IN BACKGROUND)" "Roger Knight...has arrived." "(KNOCKS) Rog, out here, mate." "Roger, our gun for hire from the Shire." "This is Craig, copywriter." "G'day, mate." "Take a seat, mate." "OK, we've got a new client." "They want brand-new artwork." "Nothing groundbreaking required, OK?" "We gotta ease Cinderella into the slipper as opposed to getting out the old shoehorn." "Cinderella is ready." "Alright." "Well, your prince awaits." "Larry, is there something else I could start on?" "Another brand?" "Mate!" "Make it fun." "Put a cigar in his pincer." "Or a hat, something like that." "They'll love that." "Any copy?" "Craig?" ""Arrr."" "(LAUGHS)" "How do you spell that?" "Like a pirate." "But he's a captain." "Hey, Craig's the best there is, yeah?" "He'll come up with something eventually." "You just leave him some space, OK?" "Get to it." "Hello!" "Hello." "Lovely day." "You alright there?" "Yep." "OK." "(CHILDREN CHIRP HAPPILY)" "Poor little grubs." "(MUTTERS) 775-5... 775-5000." "ROGER:" "Hello!" "Hello." "(SIGHS)" "You smell like booze!" "Well, it's a long drive home." "So, you think you're gonna get yourself a little city minx just like Ferris?" "You get the keys to the city and they throw in a free girlfriend." "(LAUGHS) Well, I might get myself a little minx, then, to keep me company." "Aren't you gonna ask... (LAUGHS)" "Aren't you gonna ask me how my first day at work was?" "(LAUGHS) Oh, I almost forgot!" "How was your first day?" "Ta-da!" "(BOTH LAUGH) -(WOBBLES BOARD)" "Ohh!" "Ohh, absolutely ridiculous." "(LAUGHS)" "Oh, my darling." "Captain Crab alright!" "(LAUGHS)" "(GASPS)" "(WHISPERS) Yes!" "MARTIN:" "Who wants to start?" "Best thing that happened this week." "David?" "Well, Mum never found out about the paint." "JUDY:" "What paint?" "One day, aliens will come down and reclaim you and it'll all make sense as to why you're living in this house in the physical form of my brother." "Well, one day, the farmer will come back and collect his cow and lock you back in your paddock." "I don't care." "Just...stop!" "I want to hear everybody say one nice thing about each other." "No way." "That's even more dorky." "Martin, the thing I like best about you is that when I look into your eyes," "I can still see the boy on the beach that I fell in love with." "I like this game." "The trick is to remember to look." "Dad, your turn." "Do me." "The thing I like most about you, David, is your irrepressible nature." "(LAUGHS)" "What?" "Look it up in the dictionary." "Your turn." "Well, the thing I like most about Debbie is that she never counts the money in her piggy bank." "Ow!" "Don't go in my room!" "Fine, then." "I take it back." "I wish I had never said anything nice about you." "Debbie, your turn." "Come on." "(SIGHS)" "Alright, Mum." "The thing I like best about Mum is that... ..she has a job and she's a woman." "And she does a lot, so it makes me think I can have a big life too." "(ENGINE STARTS)" "(ENGINE STARTS)" "SONG: # I've seen" "SONG: # I've seen the fields of barrenness" "# From the work that man has done" "# What about the dams and weirs that feed the countryside?" "# I've seen the brownness of the grass" "# When the dams and weirs run" "# Just give me sunshine through the autumn" "# Sweet snow to the spring" "# Corn by the water of an old millstream" "# And you give me all" "# You give me all... #" "ROGER:" "You got enough there?" "You want some more calamari?" "I'll have some more." "Beautiful." "(BLOWS RASPBERRY) -(BOTH LAUGH)" "Come outside!" "No, I can't." "If I see Cheryl hanging off Danny's arm again, I'm gonna choke and die." "Cheryl is just a twit with nice tits." "A pair of tits with a twit attached to them." "Come on." "I wanna find Gary." "Oh, there's Judy." "I wonder what she'll say." "She mightn't say anything." "You gotta be ready for that too, you know?" "She can't ignore what happened." "(SIGHS) If nothing else, Judy Vickers is captain of her own ship." "Yeah, maybe you could draw Judy with a little captain's hat and a battleaxe in pincers." "(LAUGHS) Yeah, right!" "(BOTH LAUGH)" "I thought Pam would be avoiding me." "A flawed plan from the start." "I'd avoid me if I was Pam." "I don't wanna go in, Marty." "Do you wanna go to the beach?" "(BOTH LAUGH)" "If you were Roger and I were Pam, we'd be frolicking naked in those waves right now." "Do you wanna swim naked?" "Do you?" "(LAUGHS) Not really." "Sharks are out." "Bluebottles." "(LAUGHS) It's cold!" "Yeah!" "It's sort of...beautiful." "Sparkly." "Sparkly scrag. (LAUGHS)" "Sparkly scrag. (LAUGHS)" "(LAUGHS)" "It's a sign!" "He wants you back, Sue." "I don't want him back." "You said you did." "No, I said I want him to want me back." "And then I'll say, "No way." "You're dropped."" "Again?" "Yeah." "Yeah. (LAUGHS)" "Can't believe Gary stood me up." "He promised me he was coming tonight." "Fucking pussy!" "I'm starting to think they're all dickheads." "Mmm..." "Well, maybe..." "Maybe we're just looking for signs and there aren't any." "There's someone in there." "Exactly." "I know Gary is in there somewhere." "Then he just switches off and..." "No." "What?" "There's someone in there." "In Bruce's van." "I think it's Frieda." "Why doesn't she ever fight back?" "Oh, I'm amazed." "I'm amazed that you even suggest that." "What if it was only for a year or two?" "Rog, you belong here, on the beach." "These are your people." "We could always come back." "We'd have to pull Sue out of school." "It's away from Debbie." "Oh, come on." "You try spending four hours a day in the car." "I don't want to move." "I don't fit in in the city." "Their stupid social clubs, their espressos..." "Come on, Pammy." "Just give it a fair go." "I don't even like espressos." "Nobody does." "Do you even know who invented espressos?" "Who?" "The wogs." "Alright, Strac, you're up, mate." "Come on." "I'd never let them do that to me." "They'd have to get past me first!" "Hoi-ya!" "Wha!" "Pow!" "Frieda doesn't have anyone to stand up for her." "Maybe she has us." "So, what, do we just..." "walk over there?" "See what we do when we get there." "It's just walking." "We can do that." "So, why aren't we walking?" "OK, then." "Walk." "Come on." "If they try to punch us, just... ..kick wildly with your legs." "And scream." "What do you want?" "We wanna talk to Frieda." "You should go." "Bitch." "Do you want this, Frieda?" "Frieda?" "Yes or no?" "She doesn't want it." "Come on." "Move your legs." "That's my towel!" "You fuckin' stink, Frieda!" "Fat slags." "What did we just do?" "I don't know, but we just did it." "(CONTINUES YELLING)" " ROGER:" "Oi!" "You, son." "Now, you watch your mouth, son." "Piss off." "Oh!" "Don't be an idiot!" "You hear me?" "And you can wipe that smile off your face, Danny." "And you can wipe that smile off your face, Danny." "Frieda took Straccy's towel, and he called her a moll." "And then Mr Knight whacked him." "That's not what happened." "You ready?" "I still can't believe we did it." "(LAUGHS)" "Move legs, move legs, move legs." "Ohh!" "Your dad nearly knocked Straccy's block off. (LAUGHS)" "I just wanna do it all over again!" "Me too!" "Just to see their faces." "You know what we could do?" "What are those molls doing here?" "Oi!" "What are they..." "Morning!" "Go get me a Chiko Roll!" "And five pluto pups!" "And don't drink me Moove!" "Who ate my pie?" "Slack-arse molls!" "(DREAMY PIANO MUSIC)" "(SHRIEKS)" "(BOTH SQUEAL AND LAUGH)" "(SPEAKS INAUDIBLY)" "(BOTH LAUGH)" "(BOTH LAUGH)" "WOMAN:" "That was the season finale of 'Puberty Blues'."