"( street activity )" "( street activity stops )" "( alarm goes off )" "Man:" "Testing, testing." "One... two... three." "Hello." "My name is Alan Gould." "If you're finding this tape, you're probably a new race that's gone through our cities and noticed that everyone's... dead." "Oh." "Except for birds and bees-- things with wings that can fly." "Anyway, you're probably wondering:" ""What the hell happened?" "!"" "I don't know why I made it, but I think I can explain the rest." "Now... technically..." "it could have been a lot of things." "A neutron weapon... some kind of nerve agent." "We had plenty of that one around." "Or maybe some sort of... deadly virus the government was studying." "Truthfully..." "I don't know exactly what happened." "But I do know this:" "some fucker ruined everything!" "Sorry." "But what happened here..." "and what happened since the first time some guy hit another guy with a rock, all comes down to the fact that someone... didn't get loved." "So they got even." "So you don't think I'm talking out of my ass-- 'cause I'm the last guy" "I think that I have some insight here." "Up until everything ended," "I was a graduate student in anthropology." "I studied the Chetabi Indians of the Brazilian rainforest." "This is them... that's me." "Now, the Chetabi were very interesting because they were primitive-- totally primitive." "I mean, seriously, these people were scared of... shiny things." "But they were... peaceful." "And they survived as a race for 4000 years." "Now... what did the Chetabi know, that we didn't?" "The Chetabi understood that when you became attached, when you cared too much for things," "or for people... that eventually, you would be crushed... when you lost them." "This would cause hate... and envy." "And so, they developed..." "Goyen Hai, the principle of detachment." "And they managed to get over..." "needy emotions." "I mean, that is this guy's wife!" "Now, what happened is a crime." "It's a horrible fucking thing." "'Cause I'm stuck out here, living in the woods, 'cause it's too depressing downtown." "My whole life has become some giant Twilight Zone episode!" "You never get a second chance at certain things." "But it's all right." "I'm okay." "Because, fortunately, having studied the Chetabi for six years, two on scholarship, I think I have mastered detachment." "I definitely got that down." "But I can't let this happen again." "So, hopefully, this tape will be a way for me to pass along what I've learned... so you guys don't wind up killing each other." "Well, that's it." "But I think this will be fun!" " ( turns on siren )" " Woo-hoo!" "** This is the time **" "** I remember **" "** First day of school **" "** Sweet September **" "** We fell in love **" "** In the summer **" "** I'm still hearing **" "** All the kids whisper... **" "( paper rustling )" "( oven door opening )" "( oven door closing )" "( beeping )" "( rattling )" "** ..." "Now it seems **" "** Like such a bad dream **" "** Come back, come back, right back to me **" "** You don't even know, people **" "** What it feels like... **" "It's amazing how long this stuff stays fresh." "It's funny, you know?" "All this is mine." "I should feel free to do whatever I want." "What the hell, it doesn't mean anything." "How are you?" "It's the midnight show here at the Last Man Lounge, and I'm taking requests." "Anybody?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Is this thing on?" "I guess it's dead out there tonight, so I'll play one of my favorites." "I hope it's one of yours." "It goes something like this... ( plays Beethoven sonata )" "It occurred to me that I let a few emotions slide yesterday." "But I want you to know that no matter what," "I will not edit this tape." "The Chetabi achieved detachment by making everyone reveal... their hidden feelings, no matter how embarrassing." "The shame would eventually wear off." "Which is why I am now preparing... for this Chetabi humility ritual." "When a secret bad thought was discovered, the offender was covered in mud... to single him out." "And then it was felt that public... masturbation would add a deeper layer... of shame... and cleanse the soul... of evil thoughts... and foolish pride." "So..." "This may take a minute." "I have to think back." "But I'm comfortable with it." "I am." "I'm not trying to justify anything, but this mud is cold." " ( woman screams )" " Alan:" "Wait!" "Woman:" "No!" "No!" " No!" " Alan:" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Wait!" " ( woman screams )" " Wait!" "Our Father Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name." "Forgive me, please, forgive me." "I'm sorry..." "It's all right." "It's all right!" "I'm not going to hurt you!" "I'm from the Bay area!" "Oh God!" "( woman weeps )" "I went to my mother's house... and she was in the shower... all twisted up... lying in the bottom... the water running." "My mother" "Alan:" "It's okay." "It's okay." "Woman:" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I just-- when I first saw you, I" "I thought I was being punished." "No, you're not being punished." "You seem great." "You don't know me." "Look, what happened-- it was everybody's fault." "It's stupid fucking pride." "Yes." "That's what caused the accident." "No." "It wasn't an accident." "God was angry." "He wanted to leave me alone." "And then... when I saw you, all covered, and with the smoke..." "I thought you were" "God?" "No." "But you seem decent." "You're a decent person, right?" "So then, maybe I have a chance." "There we go." "Day" " I don't know-- five?" "Hi, guys." "The camera's been off for a little while." "Sorry about that." "But I met this terrific girl." "And we had to get to know each other." "I'll get back to you on that." "I first want you to meet her." "Sarah?" "Come here." "You'll love her." "She's terrific." "Sarah?" "( both laugh )" "So" "Anyway, Sarah is going to stay with us for a while." " For a long while." " He's very good." "He's a very good man." "And I explained to her that we are making this serious documentary" "Do you know about the Chetabi?" "They were Indians." "( mimics Indians )" "No, come on." "This serious documentary on how not to screw up the Earth." "So, tell them about yourself, Sarah." "I don't want to film now." "No, come on, you're a fresh face." "They want to see a fresh, beautiful face." "Tell them about yourself." "Alan:" "Okay..." "I guess you guys don't need to see that." "Hi." "It's still day five." "Sarah nodded off, so I thought we could talk." "She's something, huh?" "I mean, she's... pretty, and smart, and incredibly sexy." "A little mixed up philosophically, but what can you expect right now?" "She seems to have fallen for me." "It was... a meant-to-be thing, I think." "We spent the whole day just talking about stuff... you know?" "Then we tried to figure out things we had in common, to see why we survived." "It turns out it's either an allergy to ragweed, or the fact that we both take zinc." "But she's great." "She's got this cute little laugh." "God, I love her laugh." "We made love tonight." "It was unbelievable!" "I'm really not surprised things turned out like this." "Itjust proves the Chetabi were right." "They say:" ""Expect nothing from the sky, and it will bring you cool rain."" "So, have no expectations, my friends!" "It works gangbusters!" "Good morning, sweetie." "Breakfast is coming up." "Well... you seem a little tired out." "So..." "whenever you're ready." "** Where's my baby?" "**" "** Pretty little baby **" "** Here's my baby, pulling up here now **" "** My friend Jack is on the make **" "** Yes, he stole my last two dates **" "** Gotta leave this town **" "** Gotta leave this town **" "** Gotta leave town and move to someplace new. **" "Here you go." "I made them Florentine." "The garnish is fake, though." "Oops, sorry." "So, we..." "had some drinks last night." "Yes." "And we... had a good time." "I've never felt closer to anyone." "That's good." "I just... still feel a little sick is all." "Well, you've been through a lot." "Okay... you go back to bed and I'll clean up here." "And later, we can go into town and you can pick some stuff up." "Okay." "Hii..." "Hii... ya..." "Hii... ya..." "Don't you have anything kind of modern?" "This is a Chetabi love ritual." "The second hour really picks up." "( radio static )" " ( soft music playing )" " This isn't bad." " It's flapping." " It's not flapping." "I can feel it flapping in the wind." "We can't hold it." "We should have tied it down better." " Don't worry." "It's fine." " It's not fine!" "What's wrong with you?" "We can get another table." "No, Alan." "I still feel sort of... peaked." "But we drank three nights ago, sweetie." "I know." "That's how it gets me." "The thing is, Sarah, since you feel that God is behind this," "that I would think you'd feel sort of a responsibility in a biblical way to... propagate the Earth." "Come on, Alan." "What?" "We're going to have a child?" "Who will they have children with?" "Another one of ours?" "Start a whole race of imbeciles." "Yeah, if you're going to logic it out." "Don't be mad." "Hi." "Something's not right with Sarah." "I'm not expecting anything." "But still, everything was going fine on days four and five." "But by day seven, she started in with these moods." "She's not as... open as she was." "I mean, everything started off great." "But I feel almost like there's this-- this... thistle traps... are what the Chetabi used to capture the rodents, thus keeping them fresh... for the big evening roast." "Well, that about covers the traps... and the big roast." "We'll talk about after-dinner dancing later." "Morning." "Morning." "How are you feeling?" "Listen, there's something I want to do." "I'd like to use the camera for a while." "I think it'll make things better." "Sure." "I'll film anything you want." "No, this is private." "I'd like to film by myself." "Oh." "Okay." "Hi." "I'm Sarah." "We've already met, but not really." "I wanted to talk to you a little bit about the way you handle things in life." "Alan, please!" "What I wanted was to warn you... about people like me." "** You believe **" "** You can do **" "** Nothing to save yourself **" "** You've got demons, you need him **" "** And you're afraid to trust yourself. **" " Hey." " Morning." "Powdered eggs Benedict." "That's absolutely delicious!" "What do you say we take a little ride?" "Sure." "I've got this great idea!" "Cool!" "What?" "We'll go find other people!" "Wait!" "Sarah!" "We both know what the story is out there." "You drove halfway across the country!" "I found you." "There's got to be others." " But" " We owe it to them." "But, what about" "Last night, we" "I don't want you to get disappointed." "What?" "!" "What is really going on, Sarah?" "And don't tell me it's last week's tequila shots, because that's wearing a little thin." "What is wrong?" " Nothing." " Bull!" "You've been acting strange for days." "Well, maybe I am strange, Alan." "Who do you think I am, huh?" "You think I'm just some good-looking girl from across the bar?" "Or some Penthouse fantasy you just lucked into?" "What the hell are you talking about?" "!" "I don't know." "I'm scared." "Which is it, that I don't know you, or that you're scared?" "Maybe it's your big underwear." "It was a joke." "Alan." "I'm sorry." "Sorry." "Please, give me some time." "I just need to think about things." "We'll leave after lunch." "Look, Sarah." "I knew this would happen." "I'm sorry." "We just have to accept that-- that we only have each other." "But that's okay." "We'll be fine." "Don't ever leave me." "Alan:" "Well, Sarah and I finally started settling in." "I guess things don't always flow exactly the way you plan, which is why you shouldn't plan." "But it's very clear that she's attracted underneath." "So if she needs some time to tap into her feelings for me, that's fine." "As the Chetabi say, "If you want to fence in a goat, give it plenty of grazing land."" "Still..." "I'm not sure why I have to sleep out here for now." "The whole thing is very confusing." "What is it she needs to figure out?" "Sure, I've got my problems..." "I sweat a lot, can't deny it;" "love handles, yeah, I've got those;" "but..." "I am the last guy on Earth, okay?" "** What the world needs now **" "** Is love, sweet love **" "** It's the only thing **" "** That there's just too little of **" "** What the world needs now **" "** Is love, sweet love. **" "Alan:" "Know thatjust the sound" "Oh my God!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "!" "Man:" "Hey... thanks for stopping." "Hi." "Yeah, I'm glad you guys stopped." "I wasn't getting any rides." "My name's Raphael." "Rides?" "He doesn't know." "A nerve agent?" "Sarah:" "No." "It was something bigger." "It was God," "I think, starting over." "How come I survived?" "I don't know." " Are you allergic to ragweed?" " No." "Do you take zinc?" "Yeah." "There's a reason for everything." "Jesus." "My mom... and my brother Todd... we had this whole plan to build our own putt-putt golf course out in Oregon." "I was on my way there." "I never got to meet Roy Orbison." "He... actually died before all this." "What?" " Are you all right?" " I guess." "Maybe I just need a minute alone," " as retarded as that sounds." " It's okay." "I'm okay." "Jeez, that's pretty good." "It'll be like camping forever." "Well, that's true." "That's one way of looking at it." "Will you stay with us?" "I will never leave." "Alan:" "There's been a new development." "We discovered a third person." "His name is Raphael." "We saw him hitchhiking and immediately stopped." "Shockingly, he didn't know what had happened." "He was a little shy of the casualties at first, but quickly nicknamed them "grippers."" "He seems eager to make the best of things, although I admit I have some concerns." "without getting frustrated-- not that it could be challenged at this point." "But he seems like a good guy." "I don't expect any surprises." "Still, on the way home, he was telling these endless stories from when he was camping, like how he set his own broken wrist with wet bark." "Sarah tried hard to be patient, and he could take that as something else." "But I'm not worried." "It'll be good having someone new around to show the ropes." "( Raphael sings Reveille )" "Raphael:" "It's wake up time." "Hey... breakfast is burning." "Let's go." "Sarah:" "Good morning." "Man, flapjacks." "Did you know who they're named after?" " Jack Dempsey." " Really?" "I thought it was before then, during the Civil War" "No, it was Dempsey. 'Cause of the way he'd pound guys into the mat." "They'd all yell, "Flap 'em, Jack!"" "Flap 'em?" "You mean, "Flatten them, Jack"?" "No, "Flap 'em."" "You know, with your flaps." "Plus, their faces looked like pancakes after." "Ouch!" "Hey, work detail in 20 minutes." "That's enough blueberry." "Next up... boysenberry." "Man, this ain't bad!" "** Well, I'm country good, and I'm city fast **" "** I'm ready-made and built to last **" "** Just a local unarmed guard you've come to find **" "** Skyscraper low and backwoods high **" "** I'm standing still and floating by **" "** Defending to my death what always was **" "** I'm defending to my death what always was **" "** I'm defending to my death what always was. **" "I just think it's a little silly." "We eat every day." "Why such a big deal tonight, filming the whole thing, and with this costume ball?" "Sarah:" "Come on, I think it's sweet." "We spent the whole afternoon fixing the place up." " He just wants to celebrate." " Invitations, Sarah?" "Is this Gilligan's Island?" " Sarah:" "Have a little fun." " I know how to have fun, okay?" "Woo-hoo!" "That's fun!" "This is just show-offy." "( oriental music playing )" " Alan:" "Wow." " Sarah:" "Check it out, Alan." "Raphael:" "Pull up a pillow and take a load off." "Sarah:" "Oh my God." "I cannot believe this." "This is amazing." "I may have misjudged the situation." "I have a very peaceful nature, but Raphael is getting on my nerves, telling these stupid stories every two seconds, and all this other childish crap." "He's changing everything." "And Sarah!" "Acting like it's funny, as though she could be charmed by him." "You think I'm crazy?" "Here, I'll show you something." "I'll go now to a direct video feed." "This is us, just having dinner." "Raphael: ..." "And I finally realized, that was no stuffed rabbit." "And those weren't raisins." "Wait, that doesn't make any sense." "Raphael and Sarah:" "Chee chaw!" "Alan:" "What is this "chee chaw" stuff?" "What does it mean?" "It's like some little "inside" thing." "When did they get the time to work out inside jokes?" "Did I ever tell you about the time when I set my own broken wrist?" "Yeah, the other day." "Well, I set it with bark." "I almost sprained my ankle up there too." "You've got to be careful, because with a sprained ankle, out in the woods, it's worse than appendicitis." " Why?" " With a bad appendix, you've a chance." "But with a sprained ankle, you get caught out there, you just lay there till you get found by animals." "That's ridiculous." "You could make crutches out of tree trunks and hobble out!" " Sarah:" "God." " That's ridiculous." "You could make crutches out of tree trunks and hobble out." "But if your appendix bursts, you'd be finished." "But how will you find tree trunks if you can't walk?" "You crawl around on your back and you chop them down." "You chop them down on your back?" "Yeah, you lay there and you chop them." "It'll take a while, but you've got time." "Alan:" "Did you see the way she jumped in there and defended him like that?" "And watch this..." "It's not like it's the end of the world or anything." "Alan:" "Look at her body position." "She was fully standing, completely stable, and yet he holds on!" "And now look..." "See that?" "!" "See that?" "!" "A-ha!" "See?" "Something is not right." "I can't understand what's going through Sarah's head." "What could she be thinking?" "Something's not right." "Sarah:" "I wanted to talk to you a little about... the way you handle things in life-- relationships-- because there's" "Alan, please!" "What I wanted was to warn you... about people like me." "It's Michael." "We used to go out." "He was a great guy." "He was crazy about me." "He's dead now." "I feel like I" "I killed him a little bit first... by sleeping with his friend." "I did the same kind of thing to my old roommate, Sharon." "And... a few other people." "I have some problems." "I'm a very... weak person." "That's why I'm being punished." "But I can't be alone." "I'm scared about Alan." "itjust..." "doesn't feel right with him." "You know how he is." "And physically, it's just" "I keep hoping my feelings will change, but it's so hard." "I know if he finds out, he'll leave me alone, but I've got to do things right this time." "I have to try to find other people." "I've got to try to find other people" "( loud music playing )" "Alan:" "Okay." "I know what you're thinking." "You're thinking I shouldn't be installing these cameras, but if people are going to have secrets, I have a right to know, because when you have secrets, there is no detachment." "And without detachment, you have a planet full of dead people." "So, things must be watched, until all these secrets can be flushed out." "And only then can we have open, honest behavior" "Raphael:" "What are you doing?" "Nothing..." " just a little Chetabi work." " Thank you for that disco ball." " It looks great in Rancho Raphael." " Sure, sure." "How about a relaxation break?" " I'll really have to catch up." " Come on." "Come on." "I want to talk to you about something." "So, you had something on your mind?" "I was thinking about how we're really alone." "You mean, philosophically?" "No, I mean... how there aren't any other people." "Uh-huh." "And I realized we might have some problems." "In what ways?" "I mean, like together." "With you, me and Sarah." "Yeah?" "I was kind of concerned, because there's this back and forth thing going on between Sarah and me... and I didn't want to mess up anything you guys have got." "You were together first... and I don't want to interfere like some homewrecker." "Oh..." "I understand how you feel." "'Cause I know how you try to be spiritual, but it seemed like you might have slipped and gotjealous." "Oh no... that's just a little flu thing that I had." "No, no, there's no problem." "Sarah and I have... a solid understanding." "I'm not possessive of her." "We're above all that." "When you follow a spiritual framework, there's no jealousy anymore." " You might want to do some reading." " Thanks." "Raphey's not really a bad guy." "Bright even, in a way." "Just a little confused, but you have to give people a break." "And Sarah, I sensed that she was going stir-crazy," "but she just needed to meet a new person, get it out of her system." "Raphael has taken her out for a picnic to set things straight." "I guess he'll let her down easy." "She'll be fine." "Then, everything will be back to normal again." "It'll be good." "It's 7:30." "They aren't back yet." "It could be kind of a late, dinnery picnic." "There's no rule that says picnic has to be lunch." "Besides, they have a lot to talk about." "It's fine." "Okay, it's 1 1 :00." "and that does not concern me from any standpoint other than a safety concern, which is why I am routinely checking the area in case of an accident." "It's 4:30 in the fucking morning!" "Where are they?" "!" "I should have gone!" "I'm such a fool!" ""Give people a break"!" "Forget that!" "That is canceled!" "( sniffing )" " Raphael:" "Want some?" " Sarah:" "No." "Raphael:" "There's plenty more." "So what are you going to tell Mr. Magoo?" " Leave him alone." " Sorry." "Didn't mean nothing." "Come here." "Come on, Mary Ann... come here." "Come here." "Morning." "Got to use the bathroom." "Kind of a crazy night." "Who would have figured?" "I guess I really didn't know I was... in love." "I kind of owe it to you." "I wouldn't have made a move hadn't you okayed it... by telling me you were non-possessive and all." "So, thanks." "I see my mistake now." "Trying to be a nice guy." "Even the Chetabi were prepared for the battle against nature." ""When the hunter goes against the bull cricket or the tree weevil, hands are fair game." "But against the lion or the viper, he knows to add claws and fangs."" "This guy doesn't have anything over me." "We're going to turn this puppy around." "** Well, I'm a lovesick fool **" "** I graduated from Heartbreak school **" "** I do the best that I can **" "** But then I see you with another man **" "** You know it's hurting me **" "** Yeah, you're pretending that you just don't see **" "** How can you be so cruel **" "** To a lovesick fool?" "**" "** Well, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do **" "** I love you, baby **" "** Well, I do and I do and I do **" "** And I don't mean, baby **" "** I've got some lovesick blues **" "** I got this loneliness that I can't lose **" "** I can't sleep at night **" "** I miss you, baby, with all my mind **" "** I try to pass you by **" "** But when I look at you... **" "( Raphael cheers )" "Raphael:" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on, Big Al." "Come on, jump on!" "Carnival rides." "I can't compete with that." "This isn't me." "This is stupid!" "See, this is what happens when you go against everything you know and you give in to your petty thoughts." "You guys must be pretty disgusted." "Beat them at their own game, pff!" " Raphael:" "Come on, baby." "Give me that." " ( Sarah laughs )" "Raphael:" "Come on!" "Beat them with your strengths!" "That's what you do!" "Okay, I may not be Mr. Cool guy, but I'm pretty smart, and that guy's practically a moron." "Sarah's got to see that." "So out of everybody, she brushed me with the ostrich feather, and she's like the God of the Ashram." "Everyone there said there were divine reasons for the whole thing." "I tried to get her out for a beer to discuss it, but they don't drink." "So I sat down and I wrote a haiku about it." "That's a special Japanese poem." "It almost won an award." " You want to hear it?" " Sure." "All right." ""One lone man got brushed" "Then in a bar, he got flushed" "Had to call a cab."" "See, it's tricky." "You can only use 1 7 syllables." "Five, then seven, then five, exactly." "It took me a couple of hours to shave it down." "Wow, that is tricky." "So... another one might be:" ""He went for knowledge" "Instead, he got good and drunk" "Is nothing sacred?"" "Yeah." "I guess that works out to 1 7 syllables." "That's fun." "Hey, wait." "How about this one:" ""They heard his stories" "He swore they were true always" "Still, one never knows."" "Raphael:" "Yeah." "Wait, wait, wait." ""The man stumbled off" "It happens to sore losers" "They can't take the heat."" "1 7 again!" "What?" "You think this impresses me?" " Humiliating him like that?" " Just making up poems." "It's cruel." "And it's beneath you." "Alan:" "Well, that really backfired." "** If I lose my mind **" "** You'll be the first one I would find... **" "The following weeks became a somewhat dark period for me." "** ..." "The last thing I would see... **" "I guess you just have to accept when things don't go your way." "** ..." "If I lose my head **" "** You'll be the first one out of there... **" "Plus, I realized they were great together." "But then, after many, many nights alone in my trailer," "I realized something else." "There's no other women!" "And besides, she liked me first, and he's just a reckless fool." "Things just need to be made clear." "The Chetabi also say," ""With a helping hand, the snake will bite its own tail."" "All I have to do... is wait." "Would you stop?" "Did you take something?" "Just a little wake-me-up." "Good morning." " Hey." " Good morning." "Mmm..." "Is that chicory?" "No." "Listen." "I just want to let bygones be bygones." "What do you say?" " Of course, Alan." " Sure." "Great." "Woo-hoo!" " Come on, guys." "Get in." " It's too cold for me." "Come on, get in." "Raphael:" "Hey..." "I want to play a little joke." "Let see how long I can hold my breath." "Come on." "Don't mess around." "It's not funny." " I'll time you." " You're on." "All right." "One... two... three." "Where is he at?" "Come on, you won." "You're the champ." "Raphael, come on." "Alan, look for him." "Sarah:" "My God!" "Alan, help him!" "Help him!" "Alan:" "I can't see where he went." "It's too dark." "Raphael!" " Alan, find him!" " Alan:" "I can't see him!" " Gotcha!" " Son of a bitch!" "Fucking moron!" "Sorry." "It was a joke." "I'm not a goddamn moron!" "Alan:" "Come on, Sarah." "Come on." "That's part of his charm." "He doesn't mean any harm." "I know, but it can cause harm." "You can't be unreliable in these circumstances." "Look, we can catch any mistakes that he makes." "Come on, it's not like he's a drug addict or something." "Yeah." "Anyway, tell him I expect an apology." "Of course." "It's no biggie." "She said she's a little overtired and it's probably best to let it go." " You think?" " Yeah, man." "Just be yourself." "That'll snap her out of it." "Good advice." "Okay." "Raphael:" "Hey... you think I can go off the chair and make it?" "Go for it." "Do your gripper." "Dinner." "Woo!" "44 to zip, and still champion of the world:" "Raphael!" "Let's mix this up." "( cars honking )" "Candied yams." "All right!" "So I was thinking about putting a whole dirt bike course." "It'd be cool, with jumps and everything." " What do you think, Al?" " I love dirt racing." "Relax." "It's not fun to be the last people on Earth lately." "It's not supposed to be fun." " What does that mean?" " We have responsibilities." "We should contribute something." "Alan has his research, and I want to do something instead of sitting around all day." "What do you want to do?" "Well..." "I was thinking about a memorial... to good people who never got noticed 'cause everybody died so fast." "I had this idea how to do it." "With balloons, each one carrying a little pouch with somebody's story in it." "And they could just scatter everywhere for somebody to find someday." " You could help me write them." " Okay." "Yeah, that's cool." "I could even put them in a net that would release with a charge." "We could have a launch ceremony right in the middle of the camp." "Okay." "But we'll release them from the ridge." "Gee, it's kind of high." "I said the ridge!" "It'll be beautiful." "Okay, we're secure." "I've just got to pack the cap." "I checked my notes." "I think I worked out to 54 grams." "Yeah, that's what it says." "Raphael:" "Okay..." "Done deal." " Sarah:" "Are we all set?" " Raphael:" "Yep." "Hello." "Today is a very special day, because we are honoring those who contributed to our world, but went unrecognized." "I'm speaking of those people I knew who contributed to our world and made things better in a small way." "and many others whose stories will now be carried to the far winds." "Remember them." "No!" "I just don't understand it." "It still looked kind of cool, though." "Yeah." "( Sarah and Raphael arguing in the distance )" "Things... seem to have changed." "I knew they would eventually." "Sarah needed to wake up a little bit." "The female brush boar circles the males, until she finds her mate, and then she never leaves." "It was inevitable." " ( knocking )" " It's Raphael." "Can I come in?" " Yeah, sure." " Am I interrupting anything?" "No, just making some crank calls." "What?" "You old dog you!" "I wanted to talk to you." " Is that thing on?" " No." "What's up?" "I don't know." "Something's weird with Sarah." " How do you mean?" " She's pissed about the balloon fiasco, and 'cause of the day at the stream." "But it's more than that." "It's her attitude..." "Alan!" "Wake up!" "Wake up, God damn it!" " What?" "I'm awake." " Raphael." "He was here." "He went out for a spin." "Did you say something to him?" "Did you?" "!" " We talked a little." "Why?" " What did you say?" "!" "Nothing." "What's wrong?" "He's gone, Alan." "He's gone." "Jesus." "I figure she talks to you." "You might know what's going on." "Well, no, she doesn't really talk to me so much anymore, since things changed." "Raphael:" "I guess that's my fault." "I really am sorry about that." "You didn't exactly have a fair chance." "Alan:" "Well, it's okay." "You know, I know what you mean about Sarah." "And you shouldn't take it the wrong way." "Sarah was raised around a certain type of person, and it's what she's used to." "A certain amount of education, that sort of thing." "You know, when she thinks someone's a little slow for her." "Raphael:" "I'm not slow." "If that's what she thinks, she can kiss my ass." "Who the fuck does she think she is?" "I'm not some white-trash motherfucker!" "The funny thing is..." "I actually love her." "She's right, I'm probably not good enough for her... but I really did love her." "Alan:" "Things were rough for a while." "Raphael's disappearance was a big blow to Sarah." "And I've got to say, I feel pretty crappy about the whole thing." "But he wasn't exactly Mother Teresa, and I honestly think it's for the best." "( melancholy ballad playing )" " Morning." " Morning." "Alan:" "And now, well..." "things are good." "They're really, really good." "Who's my little sleepy bear?" "Come on, it's breakfast time." " Here we go." " No, that's okay." "It's spilling." "What time is it?" "It's like..." "4:00 in the morning, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Let's do something." "What do you want to do?" "I don't know." "Maybe we could sleep a little longer." "Then, we could... read." "After we sleep." "Okay." "You could read to me." "Yeah." "Okay." "But I'm going to get 40 more." "Winks." "Hi." "I really felt it was about time we got back to our Chetabi lessons." "So I thought we'd spend the afternoon discussing rock prints." "They were used as a record, like cave paintings, but they captured internal experience rather than mere events." "The Chetabi would douse themselves in coloring... then think about their ordeal during" "I don't know, a big hunt or whatever-- and make a print." "( screams )" "Really, they were... a far more accurate representation" " Hey, honey." " Hey." "You have paint on you." "I'm kind of in the middle of a piece here." "Sorry." "I'll just sit here and watch." "Okay, as I said, they really were a more accurate representation than, say, some stick figure of a buffalo falling in a hole... because they captured the brutal essence of-- no, honey." "No." "You're messing up the rock print." " Oh, sorry." " It's serious stuff here, and I kind of need to concentrate to get through it." "I'll be real quiet." "You won't even know I'm here." "Okay." "Now, as I was saying, one can sense the true brutal nature" "of the animal running down... the-- the thing is..." "I can't concentrate while you're sitting there... is the thing." "Okay." "Fine!" "What was that?" "It's kind of odd behavior, don't you think?" "Odd." "Eat your carrots." "No, honey, I don't like them." " They're good for your eyes." " Sarah." " Sarah:" "Here comes the airplane." " I don't like car" "Sarah:" "Open up." "I said, open up!" "What are you doing?" "I said, I don't like carrots!" "Come on, what's wrong?" " You're going to leave." " No, I'm not." "Yes, you are!" "You'll leave me here alone!" "I won't leave." "I just don't like carrots." "I'll never leave you." "Alan:" "Things have been interesting." "Sarah and I have been spending all of our time together." "A great deal of time." "And I guess I've had some time to think." "Sarah, screaming:" "Alan!" "I said maxi pads!" "These things are useless!" "But I got two cases of these things." "Alan:" "And really, things aren't working out perfectly." "Sarah's fine, but she clings to me." "Like I'm going to disappear if I go to the bathroom." "Jesus." "I live by certain principles, and the Chetabi understood that when you're too attached, it puts pressure on things." "I need some breathing room." "Just for a little while." "It'll be good for us." "I've got to talk to her." "That little laugh of hers is driving me nuts." "Now, birthday boy, you just sit right there." "It's time for your big surprise." "Come on, I don't like making such a big deal." " The Chetabi didn't do birthdays." " Never you mind." "** Happy birthday to you **" "** Happy birthday to you **" "** Happy birthday, dear Alan **" "** Happy birthday to you. **" "Now, blow out your candles." "Yeah!" "Now... it is time for... your big surprise." " Can you guess what it is?" " I'm not good at that." " Come on, guess." " A new car." " No." "Guess again." " A lifetime supply of everything." "Alan, come on." "It's really exciting." "I don't know." "Is it something new?" "It's brand new, but it's been going on since ancient times." "A Bible?" "A watch?" " They had those back then." " No." "No?" "It's brand new... but it's been going on since" "Are you pregnant?" " No." " Oh." "It's a copy of your goddamn dissertation." "I gathered it up and sewed the binding myself." " It's a great gift." " Why did you ask if I was pregnant?" "I didn't mean it to sound that way." "How did you mean it to sound?" "You said it the way you meant it." "There was a time when you'd joke about how we had to sleep together all day to fill up the Earth." " And now, you're going to leave me." " I'm not!" "Why do you keep saying that?" "Jesus, Sarah!" "I don't know." "I just feel that lately, we've been on top of each other." "I just need some breathing room... to step back and think." " What's to think about?" " Nothing." "I think we should change things a little." "Be more like friends..." "for a while." "I didn't have to put on this dress, or these miserable high heels, or give you this fucking party." "'Cause you know what?" "I'm the last fucking woman on this Earth!" "I could sit around eating bon-bons all day, wearing a house coat and gain 300 pounds." "And you know what?" "You'd still have to fuck me." "But I was being nice." "It's going to work out." "We just need some time." "( engine roaring )" "Where is she?" "Where the hell were you?" "!" "Off raiding some pharmacy chain?" " Where is she, Alan?" " She doesn't want to talk to you." "Sarah?" " Sarah?" " No, don't listen to him!" " Sarah!" " Sarah!" "I'm sorry!" "What I said-- I was confused." " I'm sorry." " I had to go." "I thought that... you didn't want me here anymore." "But then, I found one." "I guess you've learned the same lessons I have." "I started this tape to teach you about decent behavior, but the truth is, I was happier back then." "You saw what happened." "These people moved in, and they ruined everything!" "They screwed around with my emotions, like I was nothing." "You can't manipulate someone like that." "And if that's what it's going to be like living together," "I'll just go it alone." "They can move out and build their own fucking camp, or I'll break his goddamn neck-- I don't care how tough he is." "New rule:" "be true to yourself." "Get out of there, you son of a bitch!" "This is my trailer." "I want you out of there." "I want both of you out of here." "This is my camp." "You can go build your own, or go live in the fucking city." " Piss off." " What?" "!" "Where do you get the audacity to talk to me like that?" "You come in here and you fuck everything up" "Let me tell you something, just once." "You're going to get out." "Get into your car and drive away real quick." "Or I'll kick your ass right back down to the highway." "Sarah:" "Forget it." "Just let it go, Raphael." "Sure!" "Sure!" "Why don't all the beautiful people just stick together and fuck over everybody else?" "!" "So you can stare at yourselves and get off on how much better you are than everybody else!" "?" "It's over." "We know about you." "We watched the tape." "You're a sick motherfucker, spying on us and twisting everything around in your little Chetabi fantasy land." "Do you really think that makes you better than us?" "You're such a loser." "Now, get the hell out of here." "Goodbye, Alan." "The Chetabi have a word for members of the tribe who don't belong" "Kirosu." "These are people who take advantage of others, who don't mend their ways." "So, one morning... they're just gone." "No one ever asks any questions." "It's really very civilized." "I was wrong." "Violence isn't caused by hate and envy." "It's caused by these kinds of people-- people who aren't decent, who corrupt innocent people." "The Chetabi say you have to cut away the bad leaves to save the plant, and I can't let these kinds of people ruin the world again." "This isn't what I wanted, but there's no other way." "** I'll save who walks this Earth **" "** To give to you from birth **" "** All the love our Father felt for us on high **" "** Now you dare to speak His name **" "** In tongues of fire and shame **" "** Repent, my friend, or you will burn in hell **" "** Your life is but the thing which loving Jesus brings **" "** And there will not be a time after today **" "** Come over here and bow **" "** Get on your knees, bow down... **" "I'm sorry it had to be this way." "Shit!" "Let's go." "** ..." "Without Jesus, they will surely burn in hell **" "** Your life is but the thing which loving Jesus brings **" "** And there will not be a time after today... **" "Okay, I was a little hot under the collar." "I'm not perfect." "So, I didn't kill them." "But I scared them like hell." "The Chetabi say that a man is not a man until he faces his own-- no, himself, his own face... something like that." "Well... that's all I have to offer." "I'm leaving this tape at the supermarket, next to the peanut butter with the jelly already in it... because everyone is curious about that." "You'll wander over here eventually, and you'll find it." "As for me," "I'm heading south." "The Chetabi are known to eat a lot of leafy green vegetables, and that stuff is loaded with zinc." "So, maybe if they survived, they'll let me hang around and shoot the bull awhile." "I was trying to think of a helpful way to finish this thing." "And I guess I realized... life's a bitch, you know?" "You've just got to try to set some limits." "So... be decent to each other." "That's the final thought." "And... try to respect each other's privacy." "That's something new that we could add." "So those two things, limits and privacy... and... goodbye." "Aw, who am I kidding?" "What the fuck do I know?" "** Damn old blues **" "** Send me out to drink **" "** Before the evening's through **" "** You show up **" "** I can't think **" "** Everywhere I turn **" "** You come into view **" "** This world ain't big enough **" "** For me and you **" "** I'd drive 1 0,000 miles **" "** If I thought I could get away **" "** But your memory would follow me **" "** Down every lonesome and dark highway **" "** Everywhere I go **" "** The same old thing rings true **" "** This world ain't big enough **" "** For me and you **" "** No, this world ain't big enough **" "** To disappear when you're in love **" "** You keep haunting everything I do **" "** Maybe someday, we'll lose touch **" "** I'll run so fast, you can't keep up **" "** This world ain't big enough **" "** For me and you **" "** Oooh yeah, yeah **" "** Now this ain't some picnic **" "** Near some shady tree **" "** I can't shake no peaches, baby **" "** When you got your little eye on me **" "** Hearing everything I say **" "** And watching what I do **" "** This world ain't big enough **" "** For me and you **" "** No, this world ain't big enough **" "** To disappear when you're in love **" "** You keep haunting every little thing I do **" "** Maybe someday, we'll lose touch **" "** Yeah, I'll run so fast, you can't keep up **" "** This world ain't big enough **" "** For me and you **" "** Yeah, I cry **" "** I'm going to survive **" "** There just ain't no place to run and hide **" "** The world ain't big enough **" "** For me and you **" "** You know itjust ain't big enough, darling. **"