"Jazz:" "Previously on "I Am Jazz"..." "I know therapy is not your thing, but it's an important thing to have." "Let's talk about you and whatever you want to share." "I know it's important for me to go to therapy, but I kind of just want to deal with things on my own." "I feel like he knows where our kids go to school." "Greg:" "When they start using specific facts about our family," "I have a more heightened concern." "Jazz:" "And tonight on "I Am Jazz"..." "We go to a group called Gender Bender." "Isn't it, like, a support group where kids go to?" " Yeah." " I think you should go." "You should try it at least once." "I don't really like going to support groups, where you're like, "blah, blah-blah, blah-blah," "I feel so bad, here's my life."" "We really didn't get a chance to discuss the whole radio program." "Jazz is going to be speaking on a national radio show where people call in." "How do you know whether somebody's gonna come in and say nice things or not nice things?" "We have another caller on the line." "Man:" "You have a penis." "You may as well kill yourself back where I come from in your condition." "Jazz: 15 years ago, I was assigned male at birth, but inside, I always knew I was a girl." "I have a girl brain and a boy body." "Being transgender hasn't been easy." "You already have some breast shape." "We just have to make it better." "I get shy talking to gorgeous girls." "Wait, what?" "But it's made me who I am." "I am Jazz." "Knock, knock." "Just kidding." "We don't knock in this house." "What the heck?" "Jazz, when was the last time you worked out since soccer?" "You're working out." "You don't have a choice." "Come on." "Let's go." "Griffen:" "The whole family's been trying to get fit, so we found this Rugged Maniac obstacle course that we think would be great to test our fitness." "But Jazz is not doing well on her fitness." "She has barely been working out at all." " Come on." " Ow!" "Ow!" "My hair!" "My hair!" "Ow!" "Okay, okay!" "I'll work out!" "I'll work out!" "I think almost anyone in the world would prefer to be lying down and watching TV rather than working out." "I'm lazy." "I admit it." "You ready to get to work?" "Okay." "I haven't done jump rope since, like, kindergarten." "Have you done anything since kindergarten?" "Got him." "Oh, it got stuck in my hair." " Okay." " Did I say you were done?" "Yeah." "Let me get water." "Nope." "Nope." "If Jazz doesn't work hard leading up to the event and doesn't work out," "I think she might be huffing and puffing the day of the obstacle course." "I mean, at this rate, are you gonna be able to do any obstacles at Rugged Maniac, or are we gonna be pushing you up the obstacles the whole time?" "I know, but I have to work twice as hard 'cause our bodies are so different." "I'm taking estrogen, so I'm always craving food, and it's just so hard." "What obstacles have you not overcome?" "And this is another thing where you got to say," ""yes, I am put in a situation where I have to face adversity, but I'm gonna overcome these adversities."" "I know." "Jazz:" "Sander and Griffen are right." "If I want to meet my fitness goals," "I will definitely have to train myself through their annoying workout." "Ready?" "Go!" "One." "Let's go!" "Push yourself!" "Come on." "Pick it up." "Come on." "Why'd you stop?" "Don't slow down." " Down." " There we go." "Yeah, you feel the burn now." " Let's go." "Push yourself!" " Think about the snack pack!" "Feel the burn!" "Feel the burn!" " 13, 14." " You're not getting down enough." "15." "She did her squats." "Let's see lunges with weights." "Oh, ho, not with weights." "I'm about to, like, throw up." "Did we do that much stuff?" "I didn't feel like we did that much, right?" "It's not a lot of workouts." "We had more workouts planned for her, and she couldn't even get through them." "Are you okay?" " No!" " What's wrong?" "Ohh." "So, we're done for the day?" "Whoa!" "Oh, my goodness." "That meal will carry you through your birthday." "Yeah, well." "I'm not gonna eat it all." "I would love to have a pizza party for you for your 50th birthday." "Not a pizza party." "Yeah, like when you turned 5, you had a pizza party." "Jeanette:" "My 50th birthday is this week, and I'm not happy about turning 50." "It's a tough number to swallow." "Oh, it's like a fine wine." "You're getting better with time." "Want to give me a good present?" "I would love to have a face lift." "See that and that?" "Just right here." "Let's not analyze our body parts." "I just feel like time moves so much faster." "Yes." "It's awful." "Like, the twins are seniors already." "Where did the whole school year go?" "It just happened too quickly." "The boys heard back from their top two colleges," "Miami and Florida, and they both got accepted." "Congratulations." "Where you at?" "Both:" "Congratulations!" "I'm so proud of them because they worked really, really hard for this, and all their hard work paid off." "I'm gonna be bad." "You're gonna be like duh-duh-duh-duh, and I'm gonna be, like, calling them and they'll be like, "leave me alone."" "If there's one thing about you, though, you've always been able to be busy, you know, out there with Jazz advocating." "Well, I guess we really didn't get a chance to discuss the whole radio program." "When you guys told me you were gonna be on the radio," "I just thought it was gonna be, like, a local A.M. radio station." "Then I heard it was "The Qiew,"" "and I realize, well, I have that on satellite." "Jeanette:" "Jazz is going to be speaking on a national radio show where people call in." "This is a really good opportunity for her that she's never had before." "I don't know how they, like, vet the calls." "Like, how do you know whether somebody's gonna come in and say nice things or not nice things?" "Given what happened at the Liberty Council town hall," "I still feel protective of Jazz, and I don't want her to be confronted with hate." "Doesn't that make her into a freak when you give her these hormones and then she has the other?" "Greg:" "That is something that she's opening herself up to when she's on a live radio station." "I can't make sure when Jazz and you speak in public places, you know, I can't really do much, and, I mean, that's more scary than anything." "Being that we're doing an interview with an LGBTQ radio station, it should be a friendly audience where we don't have to worry about any opposition, so this is not a big deal." "I'm glad that I have you to play devil's advocate, but this will be a great opportunity." "Griffen:" "Can't believe Mom's 50." "Jazz:" "She looks a good five years younger than she is." "See what I did there with, like, the glitter effect?" "Sander:" "Our mom loves things that have sentimental value, so rather than going out to the store and just buying cards, we're making her cards." "Besides the cards, what else can we do for Mom's birthday?" "I'll just massage her." "That's the same thing you do every year." "This is her 50th birthday." "It's kind of special, just a little bit." "My mom is not excited about turning 50." "She thinks that her birthday is the worst day of the year." "We need to work hard to make this birthday one that she will remember and be proud of." "You remember that one time when we put on a play for her, too?" "Yeah, we all walked out from over there." "We put our hands up." "She loved it." "What if we did a remix?" "Honestly, that would be pretty cool." "I like it." "Let's do it." "Sander: 50 is a milestone birthday, and this might be the last birthday we spend with our mom because we're gonna be up in college, so I'm thinking we do a little blast from the past" "and make her feel like we're little again." "Are we gonna ask Ari to come join us for this play?" "Do you think she'll be able to?" "If she's down." "Jeanette:" "Hey, guys." "Kids?" "I need grocery help." " Uh, you need help?" " Yes." "That's what I said." "Help me put these away." "Any chips for us?" "No." "Yogurt, apples." "It's healthy." "Point made." "I'm not eating any of this." "New message." " If I..." " Shh!" " " "This is the third message, and I am just... there's no words." "I want to, like, punch him through the phone." "Like, I'm just over it." "Like, leave us alone." "What did we ever do to you?" "We're doing an interview with an LGBTQ-friendly radio station." "We have a caller on the line." "Man:" "Yeah, you have a penis." "You may as well kill yourself back where I come from in your condition." "Tuesday, 10:16." " Didn't you go to the police?" " Yeah, we did." "We contacted the police." "We contacted the school." "We are keeping track of the calls." "Until the police track down this guy, you know, we're hopeless in many ways." "He sounds like he's out of it." "Well, that scares me even more." "They're out of it." "That means they're not in control of the things they do, the things they say." "I'm not concerned." "You know, being transgender," "I expect to receive the hate and nasty comments." "I don't care anymore." "I don't want to deal with it, and I let my parents do all the worrying." "Be serious." "This is very serious." "He's called three times." "He knows where we live, our phone number, and where you go to school." "And you're just, like, juggling." "Jeanette:" "With her, it's always fun and games, but this is not fun and games anymore." "This is too close to home." "There's nothing stopping this man from ringing the doorbell." "Dad and I are gonna do what we have to do to make this stop." "But didn't you say the first time that he wasn't gonna call us again?" "Well, I was wrong." "Frika-bruu!" "Hello." "I'm meeting Tayack and Jayleen at Blow  Go today just so they can meet my friend Noelle." "I've been wanting to introduce them for a while." "Guys, this is my friend Noelle." "Hi." "This is Jay, and this is Tayack." "You're really pretty." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, too." "So, who's going next?" "You should so get your makeup done, if you want." "Yeah, I..." "I actually need to." "Jazz:" "It's a little bit awkward right now, and I'm not sure if it's from the normal awkwardness of meeting new people, or if it's because Tayack and Jayleen have never met a transgender person who has gone through male puberty." "Okay, so, how do you want to do your makeup?" " No answer." " No answer?" " I have no clue." " All right, I got you." "Are you gonna do a lot of contouring?" "Oh." "Sorry I scared you." "Jayleen:" "I haven't really met another transgender person." "Noelle was a little different than Jazz." "Jazz is just, like, more feminine and more girly." "I don't like going out publicly in makeup, though." "Not unless it's a party or something." "Then I'm okay with it as long as it's not, like, diva status, like red lipstick and purple eye shadow." "Noelle:" "You just named like 70% of my friends." "The only reason, like, I really wear makeup is I've gone out with makeup, and I don't get any stares or anything, and then I've gone out without makeup, and I've had people, like, follow me." "Oh, my gosh." "Like, really creepy things like that." " That's scary." " Yeah, that's scary." "Tayack:" "I think life for Noelle is different from Jazz's life because since Noelle transitioned later, maybe people wouldn't accept her." "And she looks different than Jazz does 'cause Jazz, she looks like full-on girl, and so the people at school are more accepting towards Jazz than Noelle." "Oh, we got another message from the hater phone caller." "Before?" "Yeah, the same one from before." "Wait." "I never heard about this." "What is this?" "There's, like, this really creepy guy who keeps calling our house and saying really negative and hateful things." "Like what?" "Like I'm a man and how I should die and how I'm a freak." "Noelle:" "I'm scared for Jazz because the first time she told me that there was a mysterious caller, that was worrying, but to have a follow-up caller, maybe he may have a master plan." "I mean, that's just not a very fun thought." "So, what if this person, like, knows you and you don't even know it?" "When Jayleen says the caller might be someone that I know, it does turn the wheels in my head just a little bit." "But, you know, I'm not gonna cry in my room and sit in the shadows." "I'm just not gonna worry about it." "I'm gonna have fun." "I'm doing this cool radio show thing." "It's called "The Qiew," and it's, like, an LGBTQ radio." "It's gonna be fun." "Do you know what you're gonna be talking about?" "Not really." "I think they're just gonna ask questions about high school." " Oh, yeah." " Oh, high school." "Fun." "That is a word I would not use to describe it, but..." "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion." "Crap." "My mom's here." "I wanted to see you get your makeup done, though, Jay." "It's fine." "I'll send you a picture." " It was nice meeting you." " Nice meeting you, Noelle." "Yeah, it was fun." "Oh." "Bye." "Jazz:" "This hangout went really well." "I think my friends really accepted Noelle and now have a better understanding of the struggles of being transgender." "Hello." "Blow  Go." "Oh, my god!" "Oh, my god." "Look at you." "Oh, thank you." "Oh, you guys look so dramatic, and Noelle is smoky-eyed." "And it only took 45 minutes." "What did you think of Jazz's friends, Noelle?" "They were, like, really nice." "Jazz's friends are actually very accepting." "They didn't reference the fact that I was trans." "To be treated like, you know, just another girl or just someone's friend and not their trans friend is a very unique feeling to me." "I've never really been offered that privilege." "There are some friends that, like, on Mondays, like, it's a bunch of trans people, 'cause I have a lot of trans friends." "We go to a group called Gender Bender." "I think I've heard of Gender Bender." "Isn't it, like, a support group where kids go to?" "I don't like calling it a support group 'cause that makes it seem like we're all just, like, moping around, being like, "oh, I'm trans."" "Sorry." "I didn't know how else to describe it." "A happy group." "It's a fun group." "But it's the one that I've been mentioning to you for quite some time, Jazz, and you really haven't shown much interest in going." "But you should go since you know somebody there now." "Jazz:" "I don't really like going to support groups because it's therapy, where you're like, "blah, blah-blah, blah-blah," "I feel so bad, here's my life, blah, blah, blah."" "And it's too much for me." "For the kids who do come, you become, like, real friends, and that's just, like, such an awesome feeling." "Have you hung out with them outside of the group?" "Yes." "So, um, do you think Gender Bender is, like, something that you'd want to do?" "I don't know." "Like, I'd have to think about it just a little bit 'cause I'm not 100% sure." "I think you should go." "I want you to go." "I know." "It sounds cool." "But I just don't know if it's my thing." "Well, you should try it at least once." "She feels that she can solve her problems on her own or talk to me." "But I worry about her." "A strong circle of friends is so important for somebody that struggles with depression." "Just a couple hours of your life." "Not a lot of time." "Man:" "More of "The Qiew" is coming up." "We will return right after this." "Announcer:" "You're listening to "The Qiew."" "Okay, thank you." " Hi." " Hello." "Hi, ladies." "How are you?" " Good." "How are you?" " Paul Karle, Jazz." " Nice to meet you." "Jazz." " Nice to meet you." "Hi, Jeanette." "How are you?" "Jazz and I are going to have a radio interview on a national show, which is really a new step for us." "She's never taken questions from a national audience before." "Announcer: "The Qiew" starts now." "And hey, hey, hey, everybody, and welcome to a very special episode of "The Qiew."" "So, let me introduce our guest, our special co-host today, Jazz Jennings." " Yay!" " Hello." " Hello." "How are you?" " I'm good." "How are you?" "And you're with this beautiful woman over here, Miss Jeanette." "Hi." "We do want to know that our phone lines are open for Miss Jazz." "Okay, Jazz, what do you say to people who still don't understand the transgender community?" "Honestly, it's really about being sympathetic and understanding how we feel, because you can't determine who we are and what we do without really putting yourselves in our situation." "Absolutely." "So, we have our first caller." "Do you have a question for Jazz?" "Man:" "Yes, I do." "Do you think it would be easier or harder to transition at a younger age versus at an older age?" "Yeah, that's a very difficult question 'cause each individual has a different experience." "For me, transitioning at a young age was great because I got to avoid male puberty, and I cannot imagine going through that." "I mean, I have female-to-male trans friends who have had their period, and they say it's living hell." "Yeah." "I think everybody does experience something different, absolutely." "So, we have another caller on the line." "His name is Steven." "Hey, Steven." "What question do you have for Miss Jazz?" "Yeah, I'm a concerned parent." "I was wondering about using the girls' bathroom at school." "Do you want to address that?" "Well, I use the female restrooms because I consider myself a girl." "I think it's not really a big deal." "I just want to use the bathroom, get it done with, remove my waste, and then that's it." "Wow." "I can't imagine walking into the men's restroom and people staring at me like, "why is a girl in here?"" "But, you know, with states like North Carolina enacting these bathroom bills," "I think that it's very important to have these topics being discussed." "Politicians are basically saying, you know," ""we don't want men in dresses going into the bathroom."" "They're saying that these people are choosing and there's gonna be sexual predators, which is not the case because they can't say there ever was." "It never happens, so they're making a problem by forcing people like Jazz to go into the men's room." "If Jazz were to go to North Carolina today and get off a plane and try to use the women's restroom, she could get arrested." "Is that ridiculous?" "North Carolina shame on you." "So, let's talk about high school." "What's the boy situation?" "Can we ask that?" "Sure." "Yeah." "I still don't talk to boys." "I don't know." "I know that one day I'll find a boy who does want to be my friend and who does want to talk to me and maybe even go further than that, of course." "No, no, no, no, no, Jazz." "I have nieces and nephews your age." "You cannot talk to a boy until you're 21." " Sounds good to me." " There we go!" "We have solved the problem." "So, we have another caller right now on the line." "His name is Alex." "Hey, Alex." "How are you?" "Alex:" "Yeah, I'm just trying to wrap my head around this." "Like, how do you even approach dating?" "Because honestly, I mean, you may as well kill yourself back where I come from trying to date in school in your condition." "Like, even if you could find some" "You have a penis, right?" "So, like, what... what happens on the third date?" "Alex:" "Even if you could find some" "You have a penis, right?" "So, like, what... what happens on the third date?" "Jazz:" "I think the reason why the dating situation is very difficult is because a lot of people think like you." "They are ignorant, uneducated, and they don't know the situation." "And I know that one day I will find someone out there who does accept me for who I am and who does realize that I'm beautiful no matter what." "It doesn't matter what's between my legs." "It's what's between my ears and what's in my chest, my heart, and I wish that everyone could understand that, including yourself." "Can we all clap for that?" "Yes, Miss Jazz, hallelujah to that." "We're running low on time." "So, we do have to take a break." "We will return right after this." "Announcer:" "You're listening to "The Qiew."" "Yeah!" " Thank you, guys." " So, we had a fun caller." "That's all right." "That's all right." "Do you get those often?" "No, but you were perfect." "I was really actually glad that this hater said what they said, and I was able to say something that educated people like this caller." " It was so nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you." "Good luck in high school." "Thanks." "No boys until you're 21." "Okay." "Thank you." "Jeanette:" "Can we just talk about what happened, please?" "Like, I'm still kind of in a state of shock." "Like, what is it with us that bring out the bad people?" "I don't understand." " I don't know." " It seems to be a pattern." "So, now we have idiots calling our house, coming to Liberty Council, calling up on the radio." "The more exposure you have and the more you're out there, you're gonna have more encounters with the haters." "You can't walk through a minefield constantly without getting hit." "That's why Jazz really needs a very strong support system, because if she has her family and friends, all that other stuff doesn't matter." "Greg?" "Hi, Dad." "Well, they bleeped it out." "I don't think you heard because they bleeped out what the guy said, but he used the "f-a" word." "When I hear an ignorant, bigoted person on the radio station," "I'm upset." "I would think there's some kind of kill switch where they can hit the button and stop somebody from asking a question that's really negative." "Thank you." "I don't think anybody could've come up with a better response, but as a parent, I still don't feel like" "Jazz needs to confront the haters." "All righty." "Bye-bye." "Love you too." "Bye." "Bye." "Jeanette:" "Guys!" "Dinner's ready!" " I heard dinner." " Food!" " What'd you make?" " Nothing yet." "Oh." "You just said dinner's ready." "It's gonna be when you help me make it." "We're making light Turkey and Kale pasta bake." "It's very, very healthy." "Why do you want us to help?" "It's low in fat and low in calories." "Because we're trying to get in shape." "I believe, because it was the kids' idea to do all this health stuff and Rugged Maniac, it's really important for them to cook some food that's healthy and enjoy it." "All right, first, we have to make the pasta." "Pour 3 cups of pasta." "How do I cut an onion?" "Just be careful... fingers." "I don't even know what Kale is." "I never cook." "I make frozen food, and I'm not even good at that." "Throw it in here with the onions." "Wait, wait, wait." "You're missing this." "Wait, wait, wait." "Let me blow it in there." "Jeanette:" "Don't you think she should go to the Gender Bender?" "You spend way too much time alone." "I feel like with the support group stuff I don't need it, 'cause I have you guys, and you guys are there for me." "Jeanette:" "Hearing Jazz say that she doesn't need anybody but the family is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to hear." "No one else in the family is transgender." "We don't know what she's going through." "We can't be her everything." "In the long run, you'll be more happy socializing and having a lot of friends than just sitting in your room watching a show that you're eventually gonna finish." "But I'm gonna do whatever makes me happy." "I personally like being alone." "That's a lie, though, 'cause you need a couple more really nice friends that really care about you and you care about them and people that you can relate to." "But I feel like you only have a few friends that are like that, and I feel like you can get some more and get close to them." "What do you think, Jazz?" "I'll do it if you want me to." "I guess I'm just gonna have to suck it up and go to this support group or else my mom and Griffen won't stop bugging me about it." "But I don't need a group therapy, help each other session." "It's a waste of time for me." "Meeting people for the first time is always super awkward." "I just never know what to say." "My boobs look irregular." "I don't know how to describe it." "Like, they're not "porn star" traditional." "Griffen:" "So, Mom, who are you meeting up with on your cruise?" "The Debbies are gonna be there." " Cousins." " Yay!" "Your cousins." "You're gonna have to drive them home, too, probably." "Great." "They can hold their liquor, though." "They're not like me." "My cousins and my friends have planned a night out for me for my 50th." "It's a dinner cruise." "My lovely sons are driving me because if I have more than one drink," "I can't drive, so we're being safe." "So, Mom, are you ready to get turnt tonight?" "Turned up?" "What does that mean?" "Turned up?" "Plastered." "Hammered." "Wasted." " There we go." " Are you ready to black out?" "Please don't black out." "That would not be a fun car ride home." " I've never blacked out before." " Never?" "Except on my Sweet 16th." "You blacked out on your Sweet 16th?" "Mm-hmm." "Really bad." "I fell asleep on the top of a car." "Age 16?" " Oh, my god!" " Hi!" "Happy birthday!" "Yay!" "Being with my friends is so much fun because I'm just hanging out, having a good time, not worrying about anything." "Life is so much more enjoyable when you have friends that love you, and these people I know love me." "Oh, I know this handwriting very well, for 20 years." " Isn't that funny?" " No!" "You have the cutest little tushy." "You like my tushy?" "Yeah, your tushy is teeny." "Stephanie:" "So, Jeanette, how do you feel?" " Old and fat." " No, seriously." "Don't you feel like age is a number?" "Don't you really feel that way in a sense?" " No." " No." "I knew that." "But you know what?" "Deb:" "You have accomplished so much, and you set the example for me." "When Jazz says, you know," ""that's my mom, and she is my best friend,"" "and when your sons say or Ari says you are the one and only mom, that's, like, so, like... to me, I just go, "wow."" "I was born to be a mom." "You were." " That is really true." " That is true." "How do you feel with the guys going off to college and just you and Jazz?" "Do we have to discuss this?" "When I drop them off, they're gonna be like, "bye, Mom." "See ya," and I'll be" "You're gonna be holding their ankles." "I am." "I'm half a century old." "My god." "I realize the next chapter of my life is going to begin, but I'm really not ready for it." "I need to have a mourning period." "Well, the house will be quiet without them, right?" " That's the problem." " She still has one more left." "But still, there's a big gap there." "I know." "They are the life and the heart of the house, and then with them gone, it'll just be like cobwebs everywhere." "I have to grieve." "It's bad, but I, like, have to do my lay in bed for a few days." "I don't want to talk about this anymore." "When Ethan left, at first I was really, truly a mental, hysterical human being." "But then, you know, I was so proud of who they were becoming that it made easier for me just to want to explore anything that I would want to explore." "Whatever the future holds, at least I know that in my life I have some key people that will help me figure it out." "This is what Jazz needs." "She needs friends that will build you up when you're down and that understand the struggles that you're going through because they have similar struggles, too." "It is hard." "The house is so quiet, and you have to kind of, like, talk to your husband now." "You'll be fine." "Noelle texted me." "She's on her way." "Okay." "Nice shirt." "I know you don't like this shirt." "Puffy shirt." "Oh, my god." "I do not like it." "I like the color, but yeah, it is a little puffy." "Jeanette:" "I'm really, really happy she's going to the Gender Bender." "With all the negativity out there, there's other people out there that face that same negativity, and she could really use that support from them." "So, are you looking forward to going?" "Mm-mnh." "I don't know what to expect, really." "I don't know what it is." "I don't know who goes." "I don't know what we talk about, what we do." "I just think the situation could be awkward." "But it's support." "It's like a group, which is a really safe place to be and very comfortable." "I've been in many, many groups in my life." "Jazz:" "When I think about a support group," "I think about people really seeking advice in their life, and I don't know if I really have any advice that I want." "I don't want you setting up play dates for me after this." "You're not 2." "Set up a play date." "I might push you a little bit." "Hold on." "My phone buzzed." "I think that must be Noelle." "Oh, she's here." "Okay, give me a hug." "Have a good time." "Bye." "Noelle:" "I'm really excited to take Jazz to Gender Bender tonight just because it's my friends, and that brings her closer into my life." " It's nice to see you again." " This is Jazz." " Hello." "Hi." " Hi, Jazz." " Nice to meet you." " It's nice to meet you, too." "I really like your hair." "Thanks." "Meeting people for the first time is always super awkward." "I just never know what to say, and I always hate that part." " Hello." "Hi." " Maya." "Hi." "Nice to meet you." "Jazz." " Your hair is really nice, too." " All right, folks." "We're gonna go ahead and get started with group, so if everyone could just have a seat, that would be great." "Our topic for tonight is what do you see as your transition path?" "Noelle:" "At Gender Bender, there are people who want to transition medically, they want to transition surgically, and then there are people who don't really feel that." "They just maybe want to change their name and be perceived in a different light." "Um, hi." "I'm Cameron." "I am 19 years old." "My pronouns are he, him, or they, them, please." "Even though I predominantly identify as transmasc," "I am gender fluid, as well." "Jazz:" "Gender is not set in stone." "There is a whole spectrum, and gender fluid means that you could feel male one day, you could feel female another day, or you could feel somewhere in between." "I have been, um, just more recently starting to consider top surgery, and if I wanted to do that for myself because I know I can be feminine without my chest, but I don't feel like I can be ever masculine with it." "And I feel like a lot of the times that's what outs me." "If it's not my voice or anything else, it's definitely my body." "Anyone else?" "I identify as gender nonconforming, so I don't really identify as anything specific." "I think I've decided that I kind of wanted my whole top removed, and then not getting my nipple grafts and just having a blank canvas." "My path for hormones wasn't paved in, like, a yellow brick road or anything." "I was admitted to a psych ward about seven months ago." "I was truly willing just to end my life." "Jordan:" "I think I've decided that I kind of wanted my whole top removed, and then not getting my nipple grafts and just having a blank canvas." "What is the big..." "I don't understand the big difference with that." "'Cause... okay." "If you get your chest taken off, right, and then you keep your nipples, then you have what is perceived as a male's chest." "Okay." "But if you take everything off and you don't have nipples or breasts, then you just have a chest." "It sounds like it's a political statement." "That's really powerful." "Like, you know, I don't have to even have nipples." "Who doesn't have nipples?" "I don't!" "Jazz:" "You know, I've been thinking about what my boobs are gonna look like since I was a little girl, so I can't really relate to her." "But everyone should do their own thing to be happy." "So, we're talking a lot about the future." "Has anyone in the room already taken some active steps toward any surgical procedures?" "James:" "Or what about hormones?" "Um..." "I have been on hormones for five months." "You know, like, my path for hormones wasn't paved in, like, a yellow brick road or anything." "I went to a lot of doctors, and I've been turned down from a lot of doctors because I was too young, and so my depression ended up getting so bad," "I was truly willing just to end my life." "So, I was admitted to a psych ward about seven months ago." "I stayed there for almost a week." "And then the next time I went to the endocrinologist, she finally gave hormones to me, and as far as I'm concerned, this is just the starting of my transition." "Jazz:" "When Noelle shares that she was suicidal after not being allowed to go on hormones at first, it was really sad." "And sometimes I just feel a little bit bad because my transition was relatively easy for me." "And sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing my story because of that reason." "Any time we have someone new, we always want to make sure that folks get out of group what they need out of group, and so, of course, Jazz, this is your first night, so we just wanted to know" "if you had anything that you wanted to share in relation to this topic." "My transition has been pretty simple, in my opinion, at least." "I got the testosterone blocker." "I also started estrogen when I was 12 years old, on march 6, 2013." "I remember the date." "In terms of my future transition and knowing that the time is approaching when I'm gonna have to start considering bottom surgery, like, really soon," "I'm thinking that I'm gonna go for it and just do it 'cause I think I'm gonna be happier that way." "Nice." "Sharing that I'm definitely going to get bottom surgery feels really good." "Having their support makes me feel like I'm on the right path." "You said something about "I feel like I'm at that place where I have to make a decision" around bottom surgery." "And, of course, what we know is that most of you in the room are of dating age." "We wanted to hear what are you thinking about dating?" "Dating is a mess." "Okay, because you want somebody to be attracted to you, right?" "And then it's like, okay, why are you attracted to me, right?" "Are you attracted to me because I am trans?" " Mm-hmm." " Yeah." "Right?" " Fetishizing trans people." " Yeah, so, it's terrible." "But at the same time, you want them to like you for what you have." "How do you feel about telling people that you're trans?" "I'll definitely share with them that I'm transgender right off the bat." "It's something that I'm proud of, but it's also something that doesn't define who I am, and I want them to know that." "I want them to understand that." "And then I want to move on from it." "But you also, as a person, want to be safe, too, so in my opinion you need to get to know that person first because they may have more of a problem with it than you think that they might." "At the end of group, we want to give everyone some time to decompress, relax, hang out, talk." "I'm so relieved when the group session is over." "I definitely learned some stuff, but I do well with, like, one-on-one or just a really small group, and then I can talk to them like normal kids." "Estrogen makes you so hungry." "I hate it." "The first couple of months I was like, "I'm so fine." "Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I'm not getting emotional."" " And then, like..." " I know." "Me too." "I'm like, "see?" "I'm so great."" "And then, ugh, it all went downhill." "Do you want to share what cup size you are?" "Oh, well, okay." "I wear, like a "B" bra." "I feel like I'm just kind of... it's padded, so, like, it makes me look a little bit better." "Yeah." "I don't know." "Somebody was like, "oh, you're a solid 'A.'"" "but I feel I can work a "B." I can work a "B."" "When I'm casually talking with Maya and Noelle, it definitely feels more organic." "We're just chilling, hanging out, saying what we want to say, not some type of forced conversation." "I'm, like, a large "B," almost "C" cup." "Are you, like, comfortable with where you are, or do you want to get bigger?" "Well, mm, I don't really care about them getting bigger, but, like, my boobs look irregular." "I don't know how to describe it." "Like, they're not "porn star" traditional or whatever." " Those are the good ones." " I know." "But, like, I've seen trans girls who, like, do have those, and I'm like" "I really like Maya." "I think she is super chill." "She's super beautiful, super cool." "There was a value coming to the Gender Bender group tonight." "Maybe I just made a new friend." "Jeanette:" "As a birthday celebration, my parents are taking us to a play." "I guess we're early, huh?" "So, I know something really strange is going on here." "Like, we're the only ones in the theater." "He wants to see me." "It could just be nothing." " Have you told Mom and Dad?" " No." "I know they don't like secrets, specially with you." "There's nothing to tell them." "Not yet, at least." " Hey." " Hi, sweetheart." " Okay." " All dressed up." " You look great." " How gorgeous you look." "Jeanette:" "As a birthday celebration, my parents are taking us to a play and dinner, and I think that's very sweet of them." "I just hope that I stay awake." "You both look great." "It could be your 40th birthday." "Well, thanks." "And that would make me 10 years younger, too, and your mother." "To have a 50-year-old daughter when we feel like 12 years old half the time and 110 years old the other half is what it is." "For us, she still is young as we are whirling around senior-senior world." "I guess we're early, huh?" "What time did you say the show starts?" "It was an early bird for old people like us." "Oh, you're not old." "I forgot." "So, I know something really strange is going on here." "Like, we're the only ones in the theater." "Oh, I think the show's starting." "What's with the bellies?" "Good choreography." "I need a tissue." "It's like when they were little." "It's the same dance they did." "Oh, my god." "Do you have a tissue?" "I'm looking." "Oh." "Nice costume." "Oh, my god." "Yay!" "I'm feeling a little foolish but really excited." "Like, I know we're a little bit too old to be doing something like this, but I'm excited to see my mom's reaction." "You were the first to touch my gentle skin." "Your pure, warm breath of love I cherish." "You kissed my chin, and then I grinned." "This moment of joy will never perish." "Through the times of pain and struggle, you encouraged us to let our light shine through." "Be who you are and shine like a star for you said there wasn't a message more true." "With everything you have done for us kids, on your special day, you deserve a treat." "You have helped us grow, so for the end of the show, we have a surprise to make your heart skip a beat." "All:" "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" "It's a special moment in your life, so don't dwell on the time gone by." "Enjoy the scene that unfolds before you, smiling at our family united, and never forget you will eternally be our mother." "Jeanette:" "I'm overwhelmed with emotion, and just feel so blessed that they would go to the great lengths of, like, reserving a theater." "I feel so lucky." "I just, um..." "I'm overwhelmed with so much emotion." "I keep saying that, but that's how I feel." "This is the first show I've ever been to" "I haven't fallen asleep at." ""To Mom, you are my best friend." "Without you, I wouldn't be able to live my life as the person that I am today." "You have guided me on the path of unconditional love and support, and now you deserve to feel all the care that you provided."" "Jazz." "Aww." "And it's so pretty." ""Made by Jazz Jennings Cards."" "I thought that was fun." "You know, guys, I hate my birthday." "I hate getting older." "Um, it means that time is going by, and I don't like that." "I don't like people growing up." "I don't like people going away." "I don't like getting older." "But seeing you on the stage like that was just the best birthday present ever." "And then you came." "I'm so blessed and lucky to have you and my parents." "And I want every birthday to be like this." "Jazz:" "My mom's reaction to the play is super great." "I think she was a little overwhelmed 'cause she wasn't expecting all of this." "But it was a super joyous moment for her, and she can realize that we're still her little babies, no matter what." "Group hug." "Group hug." "Jazz:" "Next time on "I Am Jazz"..." "Why do they make it look so easy?" "They're like twins." "They go exactly the same." "The whole family's been trying to get fit to be ready for the Rugged Maniac." "Come on, ACL tear!" "Look." "My knee's kind of swollen." "I'm gonna go climb trees." "Sander:" "When I'm not feeling okay, look where Mom and Jazz are again." "Mom told me she cared so much and wanted to be there for me." "Why isn't she there for me now?" "What's the youngest age you could get breast surgery at?" "You already have some breast shape." "We just have to make it slightly better." "She's still too young." "She's not ready yet."