"The Chinese Water Torture Cell was invented in 1911 by Harry Houdini." "Nothing like new material." "He was lowered head-first into the water." "His ankles were locked and bolted to the top of the tank." "I'm going to need a volunteer." "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "right there." "Could you tell the guy next to you to come up?" "man!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "have we met before?" "No." "you could've gone back to your seat." "can you vouch for this audience that this is a glass tank full of water?" "you can't." "You haven't done anything yet." "Come on." "Knock on the glass." "Solid glass." "Knock on it." "splash the guy." "Does that feel wet to you?" "Yeah." "And you think that proves it's water?" "I think we have met." "Do you know the public washroom behind the truck stop east of Omaha? that would have been so funny." "Hold out your arms for me." "right?" "No." "two choices and you went for the unfunny one." "remember." "There's only one thing you've got to be able to do." "crying shackled man out of a tank of water." "Up!" "right?" "Tell me you can swim!" "Yeah." "man." "Two answers!" "Is that part of the act?" "I'm new." "I think so." "Maybe not." "Get up here!" "Aw." "and no sick people." "Let us try and fill our spare time with a new challenge." "The winner gets immunity..." "I've a sick guy." "I saw this magician last night..." "The girl's fine." "He didn't really cut her in half." "His heart stopped while he was hanging upside down in a water tank." "A drowning man's heart stopped?" "That is a mystery." "the winner gets to nominate two..." "He lost consciousness almost as soon as he hit the water." "but you make time for man dates?" "What's the challenge?" "Are we not allowed to be friends?" "I'm just hurt." "When I asked you to come see Mamma Mia... no..." "He's lying." "About his history?" "ER confirmed..." "About everything." "He's a magician." "That's what they do." "started drowning and he got a cardiac arrest." "You were talking about a challenge?" "The winner nominates two of your competitors." "I will fire one of them. it would have taken longer to set off a cardiac incident without some underlying problem..." "Fine." "Go run your tests." "you're fired." "do I stay?" "are you going to let your patient die?" "What's the challenge?" "We can all applaud the doctor who's willing to break all the rules. because he broke the rules without getting caught." "I need to know you have these skills." "I need you to bring me the thong of Lisa Cuddy." "Not kidding." "go." "It's how I got hired." "You're actually considering this?" "I really respect you for that." "unprofessional and inappropriate." "The job is not worth it." "no losers." "Fine." "aren't you?" "Of course I'm going to do it." "no other structural defects." "I'd say that was good news." "not for him." "Notice any heaviness in your legs the last couple days?" "Why isn't it good news for you?" "he gets fired." "Seriously?" "Somewhat seriously." "Your legs?" "Haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary." "Shortness of breath?" "Would it help if I puked?" "Pick a card." "Any tightness in your chest or arms?" "Pick a card." "You don't seem too worried." "Would you please pick a card?" "Our boss thinks your cardiac arrest was just a result of you accidentally drowning." "Your boss is an idiot." "Put it back." "Shuffle them up." "why aren't you worried?" "Either I'm dying or I'm not. but unless worrying is some new form of treatment..." "Your card." "No." "I'm going to prep you for a transesophageal echo." "You sure you shuffled these?" "And I'm going to need to sedate you." "Might wanna check your wallet first." "Would you check your wallet?" "It's part of the trick." "That's my card." "How did you do that?" "Do it again?" "Thought you weren't playing." "I'm not." "She'll fire you if she catches you." "I don't think she can fire me for not trying to steal her panties." "You trying to will them off? the first part would be not telling you what the plan was." "You haven't touched that coffee." "I have." "She can't keep her panties on if they're wet." "We work together." "protects the other." "and then you try desperately to convince me to spare you." "Dr. Cuddy!" "are you okay?" "I just tripped." "I'm so sorry." "I have some extra time." "Do you need any help in the clinic?" "Okay." "We found no apparent cause for the arrest." "TTE and TEE revealed no..." "Send the patient home." "You can give him a lift." "we checked for... because this isn't a case." "And you thought I'd save your ass." "Yeah." "I thought he was sick." "What was I supposed to do?" "What about his lungs?" "Decreased oxygen saturation leads to heart failure." "ER didn't find anything." "ER wasn't looking." "Too busy trying to keep him alive." "Get an MRI." "can you ask Dr. Cuddy to come to the nurses' station?" "Stat." "Right away." "I asked you to get Dr. Cuddy." "Dr. Taub said she'd be right out." "A fungus in my lungs?" "How would I even get something like that?" "right now it's just a theory." "We don't even know if..." "I knew I shouldn't have done those mushrooms in college." "I'm sure there's no connection." "It was a joke." "You really lose your sense of humor when your job's on the line." "Sorry." "Most dying people don't really like to..." "Not that you're dying." "But a little sick would be perfect?" "Yeah." "My stomach!" "Stabbing or throbbing?" "Grey Turner's sign." "He's got internal bleeding." "I'll call surgery. but they're still looking for the source of the bleed." "vitamin K deficiency." "nothing." "And we would've noticed something chronic like liver disease." "It's probably an intestinal infarct." "I got it!" "Eau de Cuddy." "No way." "How did you get them?" "Only one way." "These are not Cuddy's panties." "You don't think that I..." "No." "she's wearing a red bra today." "Like I'm the only one who noticed." "Means that the downstairs will match." "people." "An intestinal infarct could be linked to the cardiac arrest." "Hike up your skirt." "even for you." "Hike it down then." "You're wearing a black bra." "Let's see the underwear." "No!" "You two cut a deal." "you're not trying hard enough." "you're not wearing any underwear?" "There's a guy bleeding... she's not wearing any underwear." "You used to be more fun." "big deal." "then we can drop the medical stuff." "Let me see the MRI film." "We didn't get any images." "He started screaming as soon as I turned it on." "Define soon." "I didn't even get a chance to sit down." "You guys ever wonder how he was going to get out of that water tank?" "come." "Lacerations in his digestive tract and his spleen is shredded. nothing up my sleeve. but it's not going to help with this particular trick." "Watch closely." "'til now." "Ta-da!" "you disappear." "Look familiar?" "The MRI's magnet ripped this through your intestine into your spleen." "on account of almost dying." "Where's Dr. Kutner?" "He's no longer on your case." "'Cause there's nothing wrong with you." "I didn't screw up that trick." "Everything that's happened can be explained by you being forgetful and incompetent." "you passed out..." "Know my favorite time to lie?" "When my life hangs in the balance." "Your life doesn't hang in the balance." "You know your life doesn't hang in the balance." "Your reputation might hang..." "You ever do magic as a kid?" "obsessive..." "I outgrew it." "You?" "Pick a card?" "Too much trouble." "Can I just pick my nose?" "I am not a hack." "will you go home?" "Guess you're going to make it magically appear in my wallet..." "You are a hack." "I don't screw up." "Nosebleed that major means he's actually sick." "Means the cardiac arrest was a symptom." "Stop gloating." "I'm not gloating." "Then what's that smirk?" "it's just how I look." "What about the underwear challenge?" "I declare it officially on hold." "but I get it." "It's Cuddy's." "Pull down your pants." "You think I'm lying?" "I think you're lying." "Cardiac arrest plus nosebleed." "Go." "no prior attacks." "What if isn't his heart?" "What if it's the vessels around his heart? which makes his nose bleed." "You know what else makes your nose bleed and your heart race?" "Cocaine." "Guy works in a B-list nightclub in Atlantic City." "He's got to be taking regular rolls in the snow." "take the gloater to the patient's drug den." "Make sure you pat down his pockets before you leave." "biopsy a blood vessel from around the heart." "Test for polyarteritis nodosa." "in my office." "Those aren't my panties." "I know." "Hypothetical. she gets irrationally upset." "Explain." "Maybe she's clumsy 'cause she's nervous 'cause she forgot to do her spelling homework." "she's eight." "This girl's not insecure." "Seems more like she's afraid." "or did you just get a new book of riddles?" "I think you're hiding a medical condition." "I'm not." "I'm glad we had this talk." "because they think they can't get sick." "I need you to take care of it." "And I take your compassion entirely at face value." "It's not compassion." "It's self-interest." "I want my team healthy." "It's not self-interest." "It's curiosity." "House." "I'll be sure to make an appointment." "Okay." "found some pot." "Bag it." "I'm not sure it really fits the symptoms." "but it'd be irresponsible to leave it here." "You have a quarter?" "No." "How did Cole get those panties off Cuddy?" "They were never on her." "No way those are hers." "Aha." "Tularemia." "he'd have to have rabbits." "maybe a tick jumped from a rabbit fluffy alligators. explains everything." "What are you giving me?" "How'd you do the trick?" "it becomes mundane." "You lose the actual magic." ""The actual magic"?" "You think you're actually sawing women in half?" "You going to tell me what's wrong with me or not?" "Magic is cool." "Actual magic is oxymoronic." "Might not even be oxy." "You're not going to tell me unless I tell you?" "You got a nurse to plant the card." "I can't get a nurse to help me pee." "You got a buddy to plant the card." "The fun is in not knowing." "The fun is in knowing." "I've got a headache." "How bad?" "Is it new?" "It's not too bad." "I'll just take one of these Vicodin." "you have an electric toothbrush and you sleep less than six hours a night." "That's impressive. which are then swirled by your spinning toothbrush." "Your heavy lids and your prematurely aging skin tell me that you're carrying a major sleep debt." "That was way cooler before you explained it." "It was meaningless until I explained it." "People come to my show because they want a sense of wonder." "They want to experience something that they can't explain. there never was any wonder." "You have tularemia from your rabbits." "I put you on antibiotics." "You'll be better in a couple of days." "Sorry to spoil the mystery." "Thank you." "I'll get it." "my God!" "I'm... you got no secrets." "A skirt that tight I can tell if you got an I IUD." "Have you seen Dr. Cole?" "No..." "You're blushing." "I am not." "Look at me." "my God!" "How'd you do it?" "So I'm safe?" "on the other hand..." "How'd you do it?" "mostly." "Just tell me." "Does Cuddy have her groove back?" "Lt'd be rude of me to discuss." "You handed over her panties." "I don't think gallantry's really an option at this point." "then where is the magic?" "He passed out." "Ultrasound revealed bleeding around his heart." "We drained 100 cc before it stopped." "The antibiotics aren't working." "It's obviously not tularemia or any other infection." "we were talking." "Bleeding around the heart could mean botched biopsy." "When Cole was looking for..." "Why would you accuse the man who decides your fate of screwing up?" "Those really were her panties?" "Cole has traveled through the forest of crustaceans and brought us a treasure." "He has earned his reward." "I would..." "Sophie." "You can't." "Use whatever criteria you want." "Could be a clotting issue." "even a normal biopsy bleeds out of control." "cardiac arrest and DIC." "What's the common denominator?" "Could be cancer." "We've been looking at his chest since he got here." "It's clean." "So the main mass is somewhere else." "causes the arrest." "Good." "Go find out where he's hiding his cancer." "If you swallowed any more metal now would be a good time to tell us." "My hands feel kind of numb." "You lost a lot of blood." "I'm going to die." "Everybody gets scared in the hospital." "you feel awful..." "No." "I'll be dead." "So who's going on the block?" "He thinks he's dying." "He's probably right." "Tomorrow." "I totally get it." "Nothing personal." "I haven't decided anything." "But you don't like me." "I like you." "There's some fluid in the lungs." "No masses." "I'm manipulative." "I play the game." "I can be a bitch." "There's a dark spot." "Damage from where the key ripped through." "You're probably expecting me to bash the others." "Give examples of how they screwed up." "You know I can." "I'm a good doctor." "As good as anybody around here." "Probably better." "And you know that's the only thing that matters." "What's that?" "it's another bleed." "This one's in his kidney." "And his thigh." "He's bleeding all over the place." "His timetable may be right on." "It was creepy." "The patient predicted his own death." "Would have been more impressive if he predicted that he wasn't going to die." "that takes longer to prove." "Could be a symptom." "Sense of impending doom. anaphylaxis... at least wait until he's had a good idea." "It's a symptom of him being a charlatan." "He's a second-rate magician with a mysterious illness." "Why wouldn't he predict his own death?" "he goes out a legend." "He got scared right after a transfusion." "Tainted blood has been known to cause a sense of impending doom." "It could also explain the DIC." "I predict all your pagers go off right now." "But if it had happened..." "Anyone bother looking at his panel?" "His immunoglobulin levels are low." "That doesn't tell us anything specific..." "Are you acting stupid because you know you're safe?" "Clever. plus internal bleeding equals amyloidosis." "He's bleeding way too much for amyloidosis." "Say anything about his hands or feet feeling weak?" "but that's explained by the blood loss." "No!" "Do not give me credit for that." "Close doesn't count." "That's how people get sucked into this stupidity." "He's seizing." "Somebody stabilize him." "The rest of you pull his medical records." "Go back 10 years." "anything associated with amyloidosis." "nod if you can hear me." "You had a grand mal seizure." "We're giving you liquids and an anticonvulsant." "Just try to rest." "Pulse is dropping." "He's stabilizing." "are you?" "I haven't decided who I'm going to pick." "It's cool." "His legs look swollen to you?" "Slight swelling could be renal." "I baby-sat for you." "I decided I'm going to make my decision based solely on who deserves to be here." "though stupid." "You shouldn't save the strongest." "You should get rid of the strongest." "which is definitely not me." "And I'm your friend." "And how you going to explain to your kid that I can't take him to the zoo next week because you got me fired?" "he's going to seize again." "Amber's a racist." "You knew they'd get paged?" "I noticed a trend." "sick people often gets sicker." "Do you think it's remotely possible they had sex?" "They're both single." "It's still legal in the blue states." "She barely knows him. hiring people to steal someone's underpants is considered wooing." "creepy." "This was no woo." "This was an effective test!" "This is beneath my skills." "Kidneys are shutting down." "Led to a sodium deficiency and caused him to seize." "Kidney failure means that I was right about amyloidosis." "Except that nothing in his medical history remotely indicates amyloidosis." "kidney failure proves I'm right about the bad blood." "Bad blood doesn't explain the heart or the liver." "His major symptoms didn't start until after we transfused him." "His cardiac arrest's no longer considered a major symptom?" "Not when it's caused by drowning." "So your new theory is that you were an idiot to take this case." "Yes." "Can I go test that theory now?" "Waste of time." "He needs a bone marrow transplant for the amyloidosis." "You'd have to irradiate him first. you'd be destroying his immune system for nothing." "Which could be a good thing." "Does he have a really crappy life?" "Go prove I'm right." "Do a subcutaneous fat biopsy." "At least let us eliminate the bad blood theory." "Check the blood banks for mis-marks and contamination." "You got two hours." "That's completely arbitrary. that'd be completely arbitrary." "Two hours is how long it's going to take Big Love because you're wasting two hours checking blood." "three!" "all!" "brought you something from the cafeteria." "It's not a bribe." "This is a bribe." "How much?" "$1 million." "000." "This is so wrong." "House specifically said you can use whatever criteria you want." "I've got money." "You need money." "you're earning which is miserable." "I know what school your kid's at." "I know what it costs." "I've seen his picture." "He's going to need braces." "No RBC damage." "Nothing wrong with storage." "I'm going to double-check type and start cultures." "We still got 32 minutes left." "Time flies." "What have you found?" "You're checking up on them." "It means Cole's finished with the biopsy and it was negative." "Inconclusive." "The fat doesn't always give you the answer." "liver." "he'll hemorrhage." "Unless we start treatment for amyloidosis." "Unless it's not amyloidosis." "the radiation will kill him." "Show me evidence of infection." "We need more than two hours." "Some of these cultures will take at least a day to grow." "He'll be dead in a day." "Like he predicted." "he'll be half a day off." "Would it make you guys feel any better if I let you argue with me for three minutes before I order you to treat for amyloidosis?" "No." "Just treat for amyloidosis." "don't." "You're playing the Cuddy card?" "That's why I'm here." "Amyloidosis was your idea." "I was wrong." "too." "You were never fun." "Give me the blood." "I'm type AB." "Give me the blood." "Whatever's in there could be killing him." "In where?" "How much tainted blood do you think they keep in here?" "How many people have gotten sick from... the splenectomy." "That's when the symptoms started." "let's transfuse blood from those donors." "treat for amyloidosis." "Fill 'er up!" "I have a new theory." "You're not stubborn." "You're not going to get checked because you already know the answer." "I found an old picture in your wallet." "Of course you did." "I wasn't snooping." "I needed lunch money." "except she looks about 32 years old. which would also be interesting." "She's dead." "So is Grover Cleveland." "Pretty young to have a dead mom." "Even younger 20 years ago." "I Googled her obituary." "Said she died at New Haven Presbyterian after a long illness." "Parkinson's?" "Huntington's chorea." "I'm sorry." "I'm leaving when this case is over." "you're not." "You don't want a doctor on your team who's slowly losing control of her body and mind." "Huntington's isn't the only thing that causes tremors." "You think it's just a coincidence?" "I think you're the only one on the team who drinks decaf." "I've been switching it out with the regular ever since you dropped that file." "You're trembling because you're hopped up on caffeine." "The first file wasn't my fault." "people drop things." "I've been walking around thinking I'm dying." "You are." "You don't know that." "it's inevitable." "because I don't know." "How could you not get tested?" "it's a 50º/º chance you're a bomb waiting to explode." "Not knowing makes me do things I think I'm scared to do." "work for you." "you couldn't do any of those things." "What?" "You're sweating." "You're burning up." "you're sick." "Could be pneumococcus." "That'd cause chest pain and a stiff neck." "It's not pneumococcus." "Let me check your lymph nodes." "I'm not the patient!" "The patient is the one whose body is shutting down." "I'm having a benign transfusion reaction." "Pseudomonas would present as an armpit rash." "Take off your shirt." "you gotta let us do this." "We can't biopsy him without bleeding him to death." "You are not biopsying me." "How's your stomach?" "Any diarrhea?" "the greater the chance of you reacting." "I've had three in a decade." "The fever will be gone in a couple of hours." "I heard somewhere that doctors ignore symptoms because they think they can't get sick." "You told us to give you the blood so that you wouldn't..." "I am not sick." "Fever is a symptom." "But not of what the patient has." "My kidneys are working." "I'm not bleeding out of every organ." "Yet. and it's distracting you from the actual case." "What's wrong?" "The room's spinning." "You okay?" "my mouth just went dry." "Could be a symptom of a..." "It's a symptom of narcotics." "Who spiked my..." "What'd you drug him with?" "Amber's nickname is "Cutthroat Bitch" and you're pointing at me?" "Got the kidney sample." "You're the only one with nothing to lose." "Could have been you." "You don't seem to care if you get this job or not." "I've been here for eight weeks because my subscription to Masochism Weekly ran out." "You're the only one who hasn't asked me not to put them on the block." "You're either going to pick me or you're not. and arrogant enough that nothing I can say will change your mind. unless worrying about it is going to make a difference..." "I'm going to run some stains." "He'll be less of an ass to you." "Patient dead yet?" "No." "It's a little much for a first date." "you've never dated me." "Feels like you already got the lung and kidney samples." "Now I just need a piece of your liver." "you might want to use a little bit of lidocaine." "I forgot." "Slight pinch!" "You drugged me." "You drugged me." "Stopped by the lab." "Your mutinous team is starting to worry about life on Pitcairn Island." "All your biopsies are clean." "Because there's nothing wrong with me." "Did Foreman finally okay the amyloidosis treatment?" "Patient's scheduled for irradiation at 9:00." "You risked your life again." "You couldn't be sure he had amyloidosis." "You can't be sure that I couldn't be sure." "You did one test." "It was negative. flood your body with possibly lethal blood. but I'm the only one who's type AB." "universal recipient." "You take from everybody." "you're type O. Universal donor." "No wonder you're paying three alimonies." "How do you know what blood type I am?" "I don't." "It just seemed to fit the metaphor." "no." "Did you test my blood for something?" "Why would you test my blood for something?" "I didn't." "You must have told me what you were." "Who the hell chats about their blood type?" "You had to have tested me." "There's no reason to ask anyone their blood type." "aren't you?" "can I have a moment with my patient?" "He's due in radiation." "he's dying." "Told you." "I'm sorry I doubted you." "It'd be a shame if your secrets died with you." "Perhaps you've got that trick written down somewhere." "Or maybe you want to tell me and I'll write it down for you." "That way you can live on." "that way it stays magic." "You were wrong about everything." "and you're not dying." "What's your blood type?" "Type A." "What?" "it's way cooler to know." "Where's Finn?" "Up my sleeve." "It's not amyloidosis." "And his blood's fine." "We just gave him the wrong type." "multi-system failures." "But we tested his blood." "That's because we don't test blood for type." "We test for antibodies." "Because your body only makes those antibodies when you actually have that type of blood." "he has one more symptom." "type B. he magically pulls blood type AB out of his hat." "yes." "still... it's happened again." "I finally have a case of lupus." "type A and start him on steroids." "He'll be back hoodwinking idiots in no time." "rise." "my Lord." "I nominate Amber." "rise." "You're surprised?" "You're everyone's pick." "Next victim." "I nominate" "Kutner." "Now everyone's surprised." "Why?" "You said I don't have to justify my picks." "I said you could use whatever criteria you want." "Doesn't mean I don't wanna know. he was right about the botched transfusion and he's your love nugget." "You got no reason to pick him." "But somebody else does." "Kutner's a liability. it's only a matter of time before he burns the hospital down." "You made a deal with Cuddy." "That's how you got her underwear." "She sold it to you for the right to put her choices on the block." "You said get her underwear." "I got it. and you're fired." "You're all about breaking the rules." "not mine." "The whole point of this was to subvert Cuddy." "gave her power she didn't already have." "which sadly is not as dirty as it sounds." "Thanks for playing." "What the hell is this?" "Looks like an envelope with the results of a genetic test for Huntington's inside." "Did you look?" "I thought it'd be fun to find out together." "I don't want to know." "you're afraid to know." "I might die." "So could you." "You could get hit by a bus tomorrow." "The only difference is you don't have to know about it today." "So why should I? I'd take them. because you think the next answer will change something." "Maybe make you a little less miserable." "And you know that when you run out of questions you run out of hope." "Are you glad you know that?"