"Oh, God!" "Oh, my God!" "Constables Turner, Davies, Cunningham and O'Connell, report to the station office immediately." "Detective Sergeant Jessard, report to the detective chief inspector's office." "The detective constable on standby, report to Detective Inspector Cameron." "Constables Turner, Davies, Cunningham and O'Connell, report to the station office." "Sergeant." "Here." " See you." "Bye!" " Bye." "Waste of time keeping them out here." "They wouldn't know Christmas from Pancake Tuesday." "Maybe it frightens him, knowing we're here." "We've got him so frightened!" "Bloody paralytic." "How many kids has he had?" "Three of them, and not a bloody smell." "We've got the bugger so frightened, he'll make it four before the week's out." "I had a chat with Kenny James." "Waste of time talking to Kenny." "It's not his line of country, young kids." "Flashes a bit maybe." "Having them off?" "Never in a million years." " It doesn't hurt, talking to him." " You must be bloody desperate." " On the house, Mr Johnson." " We'll pay." "My turn." " It's a while since I saw Kenny." " He's been away." " Not bloody long enough." " Sergeant." " Yes, lad." "What is it?" " There's another kiddie missing." "He's so bloody frightened!" "Most days, the girl walks home across this common." "Seems likely she did today." "No reason why she shouldn't." " No reason we know about." " The parents are not able to help." "Where were they when she left school?" "She left school with two of her friends." " They went home with their mothers." " Never bloody learn." " Janie walked towards the common." " Nobody tried to stop her?" " "Come home with us"?" " Can we get on with this?" " The longer we stay here talking..." " Do we know what she looks like?" "Frank, doesn't she look like the Corder kid, the first one he got hold of?" " I don't think so." " Looks to me like they could be sisters." "She was an only child." "Spent a lot of time on her own." " Too bloody much." " Any questions?" "Right, let's get on." "All right." "It's all right." "I don't want to hurt you." "Over here!" "No, no." "No!" "Go away!" "No!" " It's all right." " No!" "No, no, no." "Janie." "Janie, don't." "It's all right." "No, Janie." "Please, no." "No." "No, no." "Janie." "Yes." "No, no, no, no." "All right." "That's it." "All right?" "Make a way, men." "Make a line, men." "Stand back." "Johnny!" "No, no, no!" "OK." "OK." "OK." "No!" "No." "No, please." "No!" "No!" " Where are you going?" " Maybe she'll talk." "She's in no state!" "Once they get her into hospital, you won't get near her." "Wait for me." "I'll send someone with you." "Policewoman, would you go along?" "Don't, please!" "No." "You won't hurt me?" "I won't hurt you, Janie." "I don't want to hurt you." "Well, it does hurt." "It does hurt!" "Do you have to?" "Can't you wait?" "Give us a chance." "Sergeant, Mr Lawson says you should get back to the station." " He wants to see you." " The kid is here." "...go immediately to the incident control room." "Constables on standby, go to the parade room..." "Well, this man approached the girl." "He seemed to be a long way away." "And then..." "What's this?" "You saw the girl with this man?" " That's right..." " When did you see them?" " Tea time..." " Bloody hours ago!" " The chief inspector's waiting!" " Where the hell have you been?" " "Where the hell have you been?"" " Does she expect a reward?" "Coming in here bloody hours late!" " Can she tell us what he looks like?" " Not exactly, no." " Bloody good sort of lead!" " Hey!" "What?" "Next." "All right." "Is she gonna come up with something better than this?" "It doesn't look very promising, sir." "Any luck with the girl at the hospital, Sergeant Johnson?" "No, sir." "The coat is the best lead." "Puts him up a peg." "You won't find your average layabout in a coat like she's describing." "No, sir." "You won't." " Put you in mind of somebody?" " No, sir." "Not immediately." "That's not like you." "Usually rely on you to come up with something." "Like you say, it's a whole different kind of fella we've been looking for." "You've no business looking out for some particular kind of fella." "You know that." "You have to reckon it could be anybody until we know for certain who it is." "Tonight I want you out, all of you, talking to every likely villain you can lay your hands on." "People you've already talked to, talk to them again." "Find yourselves some new faces." "He's out in the open." "He's taking chances." "We'll get him." "It's a matter of time." " Mr Cameron." " Sir?" " I'm going to the hospital." "Keep in touch." " Right." "I want this bugger now, before he takes some other kid into the woods and cuts her throat, like some sort of bloody encore." "OK, sonny." "Billy?" "Hang about." "I've been talking to some people who know you, Billy." "Asking a couple of questions." "You've moved, Billy, haven't you?" "I don't know what you mean, Mr Johnson." "Well, the last time we talked, didn't you tell me York Street, you were living on York Street?" " Did I?" " You know bloody well you did." " Give us a chip." " I'm taking them home." "Surely you can spare a couple of chips?" "!" "C-couldn't we get into your car?" "If my friends see me..." "You've... got no bloody friends." "Look at that." "Everything all right, sir?" "Anything I can do to help?" "What is it?" "What's the matter?" "This way, sir." " How does it look?" " I wouldn't bet on it." " You wouldn't bet on bloody God." " Not a betting man." " Cheerful, aren't you?" "!" " One of my lads brought him in." "Now, I'm just trying to help you." "You say that you were at the cinema." "You know what time the cinema closes." " Is it him?" " I don't know." "Seems likely it is." " Bloody Cameron." "Have you had a go?" " He's saying nothing." "Barely told us his name - Kenneth Baxter." " Do we know him?" " No." " I'll have a go." " Cameron was asking where were you." "Tell us what you were doing, walking..." "Baxter, you have to admit, it looks a bit odd in the circumstances." " The constable finding you..." " We're trying to be fair." "If you won't help us, won't even try..." "I..." "I don't know how I'm supposed to help you, sir." "I don't even know what all this is about." " You bloody know, Baxter." " No, no." "I don't know." "Please, you have to believe me." "I..." "I don't know." "I don't know." "I don't know." "We'll wait for the chief inspector." "Maybe he can make you understand, it does no good refusing to talk." "I've told you." "I haven't refused." "I've answered your questions." "You won't listen." "How can I help if you won't even listen?" "Huh?" "Why..." "Why won't they listen?" " Are you married?" " Yeah." "Yes." " Got any children?" " Yes." "They'll be worrying - why aren't you home yet?" " Is it him?" " 60-40 is my bet." "Frank?" " Hundred bloody per cent." " What do you say?" " It seems likely." " That's him." "Come on, Johnny." "You can't know." "I bloody know." "Time was, I'd take your word." "Just now, don't know." "Even you can make mistakes these days." "We'll leave him sweat." "Sweating!" "He's not sweating." "Laughing!" "That's him." "Bloody laughing!" " Off you go." " Sir..." "Off you go!" "I'll take responsibility." " Brought you a cup of tea." " I've got nothing to say." "Thought you might be feeling thirsty." " I won't talk to anybody." " You don't have to talk." "Not to me." "Just thought you might fancy a cup of tea." "You've no right keeping me here, no right at all." "People talking to you, worrying at you." " Just leave me alone." " All the time, questions." " Please, let me sit here?" " Bearing down on you." " I've got nothing more to say." " Leaves the throat a bit dry." "Go away, please." "Leave me alone." "We can't leave you alone, can we?" "Thank you, Sergeant." " I'd be grateful..." " Cameron, I want to talk to you." "I'll call you back." "I'll read you, Baxter, like an open book." "I'll read you page by page." "It's here." "It's written in your face." "Lines, shadows, marks on your immortal soul." "Your eyes?" "I'll look into your eyes and tell you everything about Kenneth Baxter." "He didn't say anything, sir, as long as I was with him." " He's said precious little since." " You talked to him?" " Yes, I did." " Couldn't wait." " All right, Garrett." "Good work." " Thank you, sir." " Thought you'd get a quick confession." " I thought it best." "Keep him warm." "If he's the bugger we're after, he's warm enough." "Who else had a go?" " Frank was with me." " Oh, Jessard." "Where was Johnny?" "He came in a bit later." "A regular tea party!" "Did you send out invitations?" "Come one, come all?" "What sort of an inquiry is this?" "It's bloody serious." " Yes." "Yes, of course." " I'm beginning to bloody wonder." " Who's with him now?" " No one." "Vaughan, keeping an eye on him." "I've told him not to talk to him." "I hope he takes note." " You want to charge him?" " No." "I'd rather, you know, wait." "We have to charge him now or let him go." "Do you want to let him go?" " No." " Well, make up your bloody mind!" " Has he talked to his solicitor?" " No." " He knows he can." " He's been cautioned." "We'll leave him to think for half an hour, then I'll have a go." "If he doesn't cough and he has got a solicitor, we'll have to let him go." "We can't keep him sitting there all night, can we?" "You sad sorry little man." "I'm not playing games with you, Baxter." "I'm not playing games." "Now, you were seen with the girl, Janie Edmonds, this afternoon." "The other children..." "In the morning we'll talk to the other children concerned in the attacks." "They all described the man clearly." "Quite clearly." "Go on!" "Right couple 'ere." "Found them on the common." " Garrett, you still here?" " Talking to Mr Lawson." "You've got early turn." "Get home, lad." "You're no good to us half asleep." "Knocking this fella off?" "Ought to be good for a commendation." "If it's the right fella, and they remember who brought him in." "Don't bet on it." "Your names, please..." " Please give your location, over." " The north side of the square." "No, no!" "For Christ's sake!" "Stand on your own bloody feet." "If I let you go, you'll find yourself flat on your bloody back!" "Bit of a bloody change..." "flat on your back!" "It's all right." "Get an ambulance." "...Davies, Cunningham and O'Connell, report to the station office." "Detective Sergeant Jessard, report to the detective chief inspector's office." "The detective constable on standby, report to Detective Inspector Cameron." "Constables Turner, Davies..." "Sergeant Johnson?" "Come along." " I'll type up my report." " There's no need." " It's easily read." " I'll type it." "There's no way you can keep him alive by writing about it." "If he's going to die..." "Sergeant Johnson, you are suspended from duty." "Any such period of suspension may be reckoned in calculating your entitlement to pension." "Let me have your warrant card." " Go to your home now and remain there." " Sir." "Report back here, ten o'clock tomorrow morning." "Thank you, Mr Cameron." "I'll take that." "That's all." "Johnny!" "What are you doing?" "Johnny!" "I had an accident." "Broke your bloody china lady." " You're drunk." " Not yet." " I don't know why you come home." " I keep trying." " I'll let you get on with it." " Why don't you stop?" "!" "Will you leave the bloody coat?" "!" "It's possible, see, just possible that I've killed a man tonight." "Frank's gone with him to the hospital." "You know Frank, Frank Jessard?" " Yes." " Somebody had to go with the bloke." "Frank went." "Who is he?" "He'll be all right." " I hardly touched him." " Johnny!" "You look such a mess, you know that?" "Such a bloody mess!" " Look at you!" "What happened to you?" " What?" "You never used to be a mess." "You didn't used to wear..." " It's warm." " It bloody well should be." "Looks like an electric blanket tied with rope." "Do something about it!" "A bloody mess!" "You're no bloody oil painting yourself!" "No, I'm not." " Tell me about it." " He got what he deserved." "What did you do?" "I hit him." "I don't deny it." "Something they all understand, sweetie, pain." "I've seen it." "I know." "You can't talk to them." "They laugh in your face." "I mean, what are they?" "Little better than animals." "Any man would understand pain." " You hurt them, they'll tell you anything." " Johnny, for pity's sake!" "I know." "You... didn't kill him?" "Well, he's in the hospital." " Johnny, love." "Don't!" " He had another kiddie, just today." " Oh, no." " Janie." "Her name's Janie." "Janie what?" "Edmonds." "You know her?" "No." "She was almost naked when I found her." " Did he...?" " Oh, yes." "She's in the hospital..." "the same hospital." " She'll be all right?" " She'll be all right?" "Janie will be all right." "She'll be fine." "Right as ninepence." "In a couple of days you won't know the difference." "As good as new." "Isn't that something to be grateful for?" "Just, she isn't new, good as new." "She can't be, not again." "He's..." "He's been there." "He's had her." " What's the matter?" " She's alive." "But she could be dead." "I've seen them dead." "Remember?" "The bloke nearly tore her in half." "What was her name?" "Dark hair." "I can see her and I can't..." "I can't keep everything here." "All the... all the people, the things and the death." "Bodies." "Stinking, swollen, black, putrid, and the smell of death." "White, shattered, splintered bones." "Filthy, swarming, slimy maggots." "In my mind." "Eating my mind." "It's not possible." "Not on my own." "You don't... have to." "Johnny, you're not on your own." "I'm... here." "Please, let me." "I can help." "Talk to me." " I don't want to." " You must talk to someone, if it'll help." "Why aren't you beautiful?" "You're not even pretty." "I never was." "When we got married?" "Oh, you said I..." "I hoped, for your sake." "I didn't really think so." "Why?" "Is it important?" "Would it help?" "I wanted something." "I don't know, I... thought there would be, or should be, something more, you know?" " Oh, yes." " I thought it was you." "And I'm not even pretty." "No." "I'm sorry." "The more I drink, it's funny, the more sober I get." " Johnny?" "Talk to me." " I don't want to talk to you." " I never have." "I made a point of it." " Who will you talk to?" " Not like some I can mention." " You stop, you start." " Chief inspector, for instance." " Talk to me." "Regular black museum he's got, in his own front living room." " "Mementos of my famous cases."" " You shout, you scream!" " I laughed, but he meant it." " What else is there?" "We could go to bed!" "That's no good." "We never talk in bed." "A couple of minutes at best, then off to sleep." "Half the time I don't think you're there at all." "All right." "You wouldn't... choose me, choose to talk to me, but I'm here." "I'll listen." "I want..." "Please, I want to help." "I can help." "If you could put your hands into my mind, hold it, make it stop." "Tell it, "Stop!"" "If you could somehow cut out the thoughts, the pictures, the noise, the endless screaming panic." "If you could make silence, peace, stop." "Oh, if you could..." "Talk to me." "A man without a face." "Burnt away, his face - acid." "They tied him to a chair." "He knew, they thought he knew, something to do with money." "I don't remember." "He was in this room." "He had no face." "I didn't know what to do." "I-I didn't know how to make it stop, the pain, the screaming." "I didn't know." "Red on white..." "Timmy Miles." "The man had a thin willow cane, Timmy told us, for naughty boys." "But if Timmy was a good boy, did what the man told him to do..." "Filthy, obscene things, the man told him." "Things..." "He was well spoken, posh, Timmy thought." "Eight years old, blue eyes, fair hair cut short." "Fresh complexion, school blazer - badge on the breast pocket, grey." "Grey trousers, white shirt, school tie." "Timmy was missing for three days." "The man had him for three days." "She was dead when we found her." "She was dead." "The wheels of the train had cut one leg off above the knee." "It was still there when we arrived, beside the line." "The girl was half a mile away." "She crawled after the train had cut..." "God knows where she was going." "She didn't get there." "Of course, she wanted to die, so that was all right." "The girl, she was dead." "She went through the windscreen." "The bloke got the steering wheel." "He was up climbing after the cat." "The railings were there when he fell." "The bloke didn't know what he was doing." "Used too much jelly on the safe, painted the walls with his mates and himself." "The girl was pregnant." "And she wasn't married." "Didn't have anyone, you know, to talk to?" "She went into the woods, deep into this wood... and hanged herself." "That was in the winter..." "November, they reckon, some time." "We cut her down in March." "Running down streets, back alleys." "Standing in doorways, dark corners." "Always night, no one there." "Silent, empty, people dying." "No one." "Bloody dying." "No one." "Oh, I've seen it." "Three weeks in the water." "Hung up on a branch." "Hidden under a bush." "There wasn't a lot left." "You could tell it was a baby, but not much else." "Couldn't leave it there, leave it to rot, go on rotting." "We fished it out." "No sweat, no fuss about the job." "Finding things people have lost, thrown away." "Sick?" "Sorry, love." "Sorry I did that to you." "Bloody unfair." "No reason you should have to hear things like that." " I asked you to tell me." " You can't tell people." "They just don't understand." " Tonight was the first time." " Yes, I know." "I'm sorry." "It won't happen again." "Don't!" "Please!" "Don't be nice to me!" " It's my job." " Don't push me away, shut me out!" "It's a job you do on your own." " Let me help you." " Look, sweetie." "Enough's enough." " Just go to bed." " Please let me help you!" "Help?" "Help?" "Help?" "Endless bloody bleating, like a sheep with a spike stuck up it?" "!" "I don't need your help." "Your help, or anyone's help!" "You had your chance." ""Talk to me," you said." "All you had to do was listen." "You couldn't even do that, just hold that bloody belly just listening." " Unfair." " "Talk to me," you said." ""I'll help you," you said." "It's all promises with you, bloody promises." ""I'll make you happy," you said." "You bloody didn't!" "I'm here to tell you, Miss Bride of 1956, you didn't make me happy!" "You never have, never once." "If only you'd enjoyed it, looked up at me, wanted me." "Him!" "Him?" "Is it him you want?" "Some sort of bloody pervert?" "Would he make you happy?" "Would you say "yes, please" to him?" "Is that why he laughed?" "I hope he's dead." "I wanted him dead." "I thought, "You bastard!" "Right!"" "So I hit him low in the gut, and he shook." "He won't do that again." "He won't take any more girls in the bushes, have them." "Looking down on their bodies, white bodies, pressing down on them." "I thought if I had a knife, I'd cut him." "In God's holy name, I'd cut!" "Cut!" "Can we come in?" "Oh, I'm... sorry, Mrs Johnson." "I..." "I didn't realise." "Baxter?" "He died in hospital." "You'll have to come back to the station." "Now." "Right away." "Yes." "Can I...?" "Have I time?" "Yes." "All right." "You'd better sit down." "Might have to wait a while." "Yes." "Probably going to Beckenham with a prisoner, over." "Romeo Zero, are you receiving?" "The other unit, repeat." "Detective Superintendent Cartwright." "Detective Sergeant Johnson." "Sit down." "Sit down." "Have we ever worked together, Johnson?" "No, sir." "Not directly." " How do you mean?" " I was on the McKinlock murder inquiry." "Oh, yes." "Of course." "I remember." "I was on door-to-door." "You were in charge of my section." "Thought I knew the face." "Couldn't remember the name." " Well, you know what this is all about." " Yes, sir." "The deputy chief constable has instructed me to conduct an inquiry into..." "There's no necessity, man." "Sit down." "...an inquiry into the events and death of Kenneth Baxter." "How would you like to start?" "Tell me how it happened in your own words?" " As much as you can remember." " You know what happened." " I want you to tell me." " You've been told." "They've told you." "I read the report." "You want to compare what I've got to say?" "I don't like this, Johnson, any more than you do." "I don't like it." "All I'm interested in now is a preliminary talk, fill in some of the background." "We'll keep no record of anything said, unless you feel..." " No, sir." " I have to listen to your story." " I'm sorry." " There's no necessity to apologise." " I'm sorry you have to listen." " All right, let's have it difficult." " Makes no difference to me." " Well, it is difficult." "Sir!" "It is difficult, sir." "Yes, sir." "I have to find out what happened." "I've no opinion." "It's just, I have to find something like the truth." " I'll tell you the truth." " What you tell me is the truth." "In this case, the only truth." "You talked to Baxter." "What did you hope to achieve?" "I thought talking, him and I alone together, I thought I might reach him." " Anyone else talk to him?" " They got nothing." "The more people talked, the more time went by, the happier he got." "The inspector wanted to leave him on his own to think." " You didn't agree?" " He wanted to be left alone." "In your opinion." "You meet him, Baxter, he's normal enough." "Seems normal enough." "You wouldn't think twice - solid, respectable." "People know him, like him." "Inside that man, the man laughing at you, inside is the other man." "The man who fancies schoolgirls." "Right?" "One hundred per cent right." "When we brought him in, he was covered in mud." "Blood on his trousers." "His hands..." "His mind was crawling with pictures of that girl." "All he could see, her naked body covered in mud." " I got a hold of him." " Think what you're saying, man." "Think about it." "I understand your feelings, case like this." "Sit down, man." "Sit down." " I don't smoke." " Wise, very wise." "Filthy habit." "Did you say how long you've served?" "20 years, sir, almost to the day." "Made detective sergeant ten years ago." " First likely candidate Baxter." " Yes, sir." "Pretty pleased when you pulled him in." "Evidence, identification, confession, everyone goes home laughing." "Everyone except Baxter." "Difficult beggar." " Didn't bother me." " Something bothers you." " What?" " Something about Baxter." "No." " Pretty sure he was the man?" " Yes." " Instinct?" " I've seen his sort before." "No, not Baxter." "You've never had Baxter in before." "No." " Any past history?" " Not that I know." " Has it been checked?" " Nothing around here." "Nothing anywhere." "You know so bloody much, what's the point in asking me?" "Have you worked on cases like this one before?" "Hundred, two hundred." " What's special about this one?" " Special?" "Nothing." "It's about a man attacking children." "Girls." "Opening their bodies." "Savaging them." "Virgin blood." "Making them stink!" "Nothing!" "You've read the report!" "Yes, I've read the report." "Read worse things, too." "Seen them." " You don't know for certain he did it." " He did it." "You don't know!" "I am not going to argue with you." " You can't know." " I talked to him." " You were there?" " There was blood on his clothes." " Even so, unless you saw him..." " His hands were covered in mud." "...watched him assault the girl, criminally assault..." "Yes!" "All right!" "No!" "You can't know, in the sense we use the word." "Forget that and where are you?" "What's to stop you knowing I raped the girl?" "What's to stop me knowing you deliberately, unlawfully and maliciously beat Kenneth Baxter to death?" "No, I didn't." "I mean, I was talking to him." "Nothing." "You haven't listened." " You can't just walk out." " Walk out?" " Not listen." " I'm going nowhere." " There is more." " I hope so." "What you've told me so far doesn't make much of a story." "What's happening to me?" "In God's holy name." "I can see..." "All I can see are pictures." "In my mind, crowding, ten bloody million pictures, you know?" "Don't you know?" "I try to stop them, keep them somewhere, in the dark, at the back of my mind." "They won't rest, leave me rest." "All I can see, looking down, a body, whiteness." "White body." "And him." "Pushing himself, forcing himself." "She screams and screams." "Pressing down on her, tearing into her screaming." "I can see her hands... reach up, clutch at his eyes." "I can see..." "All I can see..." "Johnson?" "If I were blind, deaf..." "I couldn't think." "Come on, man." "Pull yourself together." " Sorry." "Sorry, sir." " Well, there's no necessity." "Things I can't say." "Don't have the words, right words." "Have to find the right bloody words." "Have to tell someone." "Listen..." "I think I can tell you." "When I..." "When I hit him..." " Let go!" "Let go!" " No, listen!" "What are you trying to do?" "Burnt my bloody hand." "Are you all right, Johnson?" "Huh?" "Give you a hand." "I'm all right." " Sorry about that." " My fault." " Burnt my hand." " Must've hurt." "Well, yes." "As a matter of fact, it did." "Doesn't do, brooding on..." "well, things like that." " You can't spend your life..." " How do you stop?" " Keep some part of yourself separate." " Don't take them home with you?" "End of the day, shut them away, lock the drawer." " The day never bloody ends." " You've got to accept you're two people." " You're lucky, aren't you?" " A police officer." " Bloody lucky." " And the bloke you are off duty." " With your wife, your kids." " That's how you do it." " Everyone finds their own way." " Because you're lucky." "Or is it because you don't have to dig them out of their dirt graves any more?" "Send your inspector, your sergeant, just don't go yourself." "That's enough, Johnson." "That's more than enough." "Who do you bloody think you are?" "I've been soft with you, but there's a limit, and you just got there." "You're the only one gets the dirty jobs, are you?" "You get special privilege because you get your share of blood on the walls?" "No bloody more than anyone else!" "I don't know what went on in that room." "I come here and I want to be fair." " In God's holy name." " From the bloody word go!" "You don't wanna be fair." "I know what you want." " Shout and swear from the word go!" " Least said, soonest mended." "You won't help me." "Won't help your bloody self either." " No one will help me!" " Shut up!" "Bloody shut up and listen to me." "You want everyone to carry on the way you do, I'll bully you bloody sick." "You think you're a hard case?" "I was shouting and swearing when you still wet your bed." "I'm not proud of it." "I don't look back and think whatever it is you think, shouting at me." "I don't have to impress people, shouting, I've got the rank." "If I want to bully some bloke, I tell him I'm detective superintendent." "That frightens him." "He knows the sort of man is made detective superintendent." "The man that stays detective sergeant, running errands, shouting, swearing, you know that sort of man, Johnson." "You've seen him." "You." "Detective sergeant all your life." "One thing..." "You're right about one thing." "I don't want to be fair." "I came here because I was told to come." "I was told I had to talk to you." "I don't want to talk to you." "I don't want to waste ten seconds on you." "It makes me sick, Johnson, what you did." "What you are turns my stomach." "Going to help me?" "Something like this, I know it happens." "We all know." "Help me." "I'll talk to them." " You will?" " Can't promise anything." "You'll make him understand?" "I can't promise they'll listen." "Make him forgive?" "No reason why they should." "Sorry I burnt your hand." " There's no necessity..." " None at all." "It was your own fault." "All the same..." "I didn't tell him." " Brought you a cup of tea." " I got nothing to say." "You don't have to talk to me." "You don't have to talk to anyone." "Just, don't you think it would help matters if you did?" " No." " I don't want the story of your life." " God, I've got troubles of my own." " I've told you..." "Just one thing." "Where did you go at 3.30 when you left your office?" "What did you do till we picked you up at 10.30?" "And how did you find yourself wandering around town at that time of night?" "That's three things, I suppose." "Really all part of the one thing." "What happened to you this afternoon?" "I can guess." "I've been in the force 20 years." "The things I've seen..." "You're a married man, right?" "Two children. 12, 14 - how old?" "Linda's 13." "Marion's nearly 16 now." " How long have you been married?" " 18 years." "That's a long time." "I've been married 16 years, myself." "What I'm saying is, you feel like a young man inside, where it counts." "Doesn't matter what you look like." "It's what you feel, right?" "One hundred per cent right." "Now, when you get into bed, you won't feel any different now than at, what, 25, 30?" "I know I don't." "Anything I could do then, I'll do it now." "Twice over." "They're not interested." "Like they're doing you a favour." " I'm happily..." "I'm very happily married." " Of course you are." "We don't have any problems of that kind." "No." " Anyway, I've never thought..." " Never thought?" "What?" "Well, that it..." "that was so important." " There are other things in life." " Yes." "My wife and I agreed a long time ago... 14 years ago." "You did say that your youngest was 13." "I don't see what all this has got to do with it." "What do you do with it?" " Do with what?" " You still fancy a bit." " I don't understand." " You've given it up?" " I hear the words but..." " You're not getting it at home." "Have you got a mistress, a fancy woman, a tart that gives you a cut rate for regular visits?" " You think you can get away with this..." " Know, Baxter." " Bloody know." " When my solicitor gets here..." "Talk for yourself, can't you?" "Hiding behind some bloody solicitor." " What are you frightened of?" " You." " You've cause enough." " Yes." " Tell me about your wife." " No." " What sort of woman is she?" "Past it?" " I won't discuss my wife." " She's got nothing to do with this." " Sends you off to bed with a good book?" " Nice hot cup of cocoa..." " I shall report you." "I know the sort of book you read in bed." "Shut up, for God's sake, will you?" "What happened to you?" " You should sit down." " Take your hands, damn you!" "What is it, Baxter, about people touching you?" "Makes you feel what?" "Dirty?" "Unclean?" "How do you think they feel?" " I won't stay here a minute longer." " Yes." "Oh, yes, you will." "If I want to touch you, I'll touch you." "We're getting on." "We're making progress." "I'm beginning to know you." "Soon, I'll know what you're thinking." "I'll read you, Baxter, like an open book." "I'll read you page by page." "It's here." "It's written in your face." "Lines and shadows, marks on your immortal soul." "Your eyes?" "I'll look into your eyes and I'll tell everything about Kenneth Baxter." "I'm watching you, searching you?" "My hands, well, they're all over you, reaching into your secrets." "My fingers, probing." "My eyes, feeling." "I can tell when you sweat." "I can tell when you shiver." "You're sweating now." "I'm going to make you see what you've done." "I'm going to make you feel like that little child felt you." "I'm going to make you feel... pain." "You have to feel pain, pain like she felt, to understand." "To know, yes, to know what you've done." "Pain!" " Get up." " Look at it!" "My hand!" " In God's holy name." " You've broken it." "Nothing's broken, if that's what you're worrying about." " Mad, I think you must be!" " You're the one who's mad, Baxter." "You won't find me chasing girls, ripping their clothes off." "You won't find me following girls home." ""I've got something to show you."" "I know you." "Can't get enough at home." "Don't know what to do with it." "Look at your secretary, think about her:" "What would she look like stripped off?" "You've got money!" "Easy when you've got money." "You, I want you." "Come here." "Cash on delivery." "But will you bring it off?" "Will you see something in her eyes that says, "I'll remember you"?" "Suppose she just looks at you." "And it's just one face, one more face in ten million others." "Suppose she doesn't even see you!" "You sad sorry little man." "I want to speak to your superior officer." " You hear what I say?" " The chief inspector is at the hospital." " I'll speak to the inspector." " Stay where you are." " Don't come near me." " You think you're getting away with this." " No, no." "Please, no." "Don't you..." " You think you're so bloody clever." "A man like you, you make me feel sick." "I'm frightened." "Yes, I'm fri..." "I'm frightened of you, is that...?" "You walk in here like you own the bloody world, laying down the law." " You want this, you want that." " I'll tell you anything." "Walking out again?" "Different then." "Will I walk out of here?" "Will you let me?" "In here, in a room like this room, you find something about yourself." "You won't let me." "Something like the truth." "All my life, men like you!" " Men!" " I want you to show me the truth." "Men!" "Women!" "Boys!" "I want you to tell me you're wrong." ""I've done wrong."" "God will punish me?" "I've gone all my life, waiting for God to punish me." "Before you leave this room, Baxter, you'll be begging me to listen." "Oh, yes." "Yes." "Yes." "They always go..." "Thank you." "They always go away, you know." "They always go away." "Ask them and ask them, you know." "Please?" "Please." "There's something they have to do, they have to think..." "And then, alone." "Alone." "I've been alone most of my life." "Does that sound strange?" "I've got so many friends, you know." "Somehow, I collect friends." "People I've known since school, I still know them." "I didn't like some of them when I was at school." "That's strange." " People change when they grow up." " I don't think so." "Those boys, the men I didn't like, they haven't changed." "One used to bully me." "Going to school, I'd think, "Ooh, he'll be there."" ""He'll make me..." The sort of things they always make you do." "Fetch them milk." "Do their homework." "Eat their pudding." "I was sick on the pavement, I was so afraid." "When we..." "When we went to play games, he used to watch me changing." "In the showers, he used to look at me." "He wasn't... you know." "I wasn't." "Just, he looked at me like, "You haven't got much to boast about."" " You still see him?" " Every so often." "They have dinner with us." "He hasn't done all that well." "Hasn't done as well as I have." "One..." "One thing I didn't know when I was at school." "Letting him bully me, make me fetch and carry for him, shout at me, laugh, all made it so he needed me." "I..." "I hated..." "I hated him." "But he needed me." "He gave me something." "He didn't know he was giving." "He thought he had me." "And all the time I was having him." "Don't you think that's strange?" "Are you still having him?" "I'm still making him pay for every drop of sweat, every tear, every breath, and he still doesn't know." " That gives you pleasure?" " Why not?" "He had his pleasure then." " Are there many others?" " Yeah." "Anyone big enough to frighten me, stupid enough to try." "Was your father a big man?" "No, no." "Really, no." " I'm..." "I'm sorry." " What's so funny?" "No, no, no." "Nothing." "Nothing, no, no." "Something's bloody funny." "It's the first time I've seen you laugh tonight." "Don't..." "No, no, don't hit me, will you?" "You think you're having me?" ""Was your father a big man?"" "Yes, Doctor." "My father was a big, stupid man." "My mother dug his grave, dug it deep, and pushed him into it." "What am I laughing at?" "You!" "You're pathetic!" "I'll pull your head off your shoulders." "I'll break your legs in half." "Before you shout, think." "Who is there?" "Who's gonna come?" "Who's gonna help?" "Your wife?" "After we tell her what you've done?" "Your children?" "Children like Janie Edmonds?" "Your friends?" "What friends?" "After they read in the papers the sort of animal you are." "No one will hear." "No one will come." "No one will care." "You and me in all the world." "Let go of me." "You and me." "You and me." "You and me." "You and me, I know." "You, you, you." "You, I know you!" "And I will have you." " I'll kill you." " Yes, I know." "Something." "You have to do something." "You filthy bloody little pervert." " Takes one to know one." " What will you do with that?" "Don't know." "Seems like a good idea, holding on to it." "Right." "All right." "Don't want to make it easy." "You wouldn't like that." " One way or the other." " The other, any time." " Funny bloody man." " I love you, too." "Young lad can get hurt, playing silly games like that." "What would you do then?" "Means a lot to you." "You talk about nothing else." "Like Confucius said..." " No more bloody jokes." " "Lie back and enjoy it."" " Listen!" " You don't even know." " One last time." " What a mess you must be." " Where were you this afternoon?" " I went to the bloody pictures." "Make up your mind!" "Like a bloody yo-yo, up and down!" "Tell me, Baxter!" "Nothing I have done can be one half as bad as the thoughts in your head." "I wouldn't have your thoughts." "Don't beat me for thoughts in your head, things you want to do." "I don't have to tell you anything." "You know exactly what it's like." "There's nothing I can say you haven't imagined." "One day..." "Oh, you've found it, haven't you?" "Huh?" "Something like the truth?" "Does it surprise you?" "Does it shock you?" "It's there in everyone." "You must know that better than anyone." "Surely you know, don't you?" "Of course." "You think just everyone else, not you." "Being a policeman, you have to." "20 years thinking you're different must be a habit." ""Thank God I'm not as other men!"" "It's..." "It's difficult." "It's dangerous." "Cos you're just the same, you see." "Some of you, one hell of a lot worse." "You, for instance." "Come here." "Oh, no, thanks." "Come here." "Thoughts in my head." "Now, don't..." "You won't hurt me, please?" "You know." "I thought, me and no one else." "Help me, if you can." "If you know, and you can tell me." "Please." "Hasn't always been like now, like it is all the time." "I can't think, can't stop thinking." "Is it..." "like that?" "Is it the same for you?" "Is your mind full of things all the time?" "Thoughts." "Pictures." "Shadows and darkness." "White..." "Smooth white legs." "Thighs and breasts." "Blood and pain." "You're hurting me." "Help me." "You're hurting me." "Help me!" "Help your bloody self, will you?" "No!" "Don't!" "For Christ's sake!" "Every single thing I've ever felt, wanted to feel, in one moment." "Hitting him." "I had to hit him again." "Somehow I..." "I didn't have any choice." "I wanted what he could give me, sitting there, letting me hit him." "I wanted that." "He knew." "He was saying, like, "Welcome home."" "I had to kill him." "Get an ambulance." "Oh, God!" "Oh, my God!"