"I PROMISE, I'LL BE BACK" "Peter..." "TOMATO SOUP" "PETER, SEVEN YEARS OLD" "Bye!" "What are you doing here?" "This area is closed!" "No, it's never closed!" "I live here." "Why have I never seen you before?" "I'm Francette, I've just been hired." "Don't worry, it's great here!" "Come here so I can clean you up." "ASPHALT IS IN THE AIR" "PETER, 30 YEARS OLD" "Free as the air Never on the road" "Summer as in winter, I see love and petrol stains" "Welcome to my service station!" "SERVICE STATION LIFEGUARD" "A sandwich" "A packet of crisps crisps crisps" "Crisps crisps crisps" "A naughty magazine" "And some red lipstick" "A coffee" "A quick stop to pee pee pee" "Pee pee pee pee" "Oh!" "Look how it shines!" "Free as the air" "Sedentary traveller" "At my service station" "Super or ordinary" "What was the task I set you all?" "What do you call this?" "A monopoly?" "The only monopoly is a perfect one!" "Your mistake was thinking this was the natural order." "When I do business," "I seek to return the natural order." "What was your offer?" "10 million." "He's a high-flying monkey." "That's how nature is, the predator adjust its skills to the resistance of its prey." "Still, 10 million is a lot..." "Alright then." "Take note, gentlemen." "If this primate is indifferent to absolute truth, money, let's give him the ultimate illusion." "Love." "I present to you, Nadia Petrova." "This maniac is so witless, she'll do whatever I say." "Bravo!" "Nature has given man the power to negotiate, but only to few, the genius to use it properly." "Business is a science." "Galileo, my grandfather, Newton, my father," " And I, Einstein..." " Sorry I'm late, Daddy." "But to have been late, you need to have been invited." "I've just finished my new buyback strategy:" " The "Lander Stroogel"." " The what?" "The "Lander Struggle"..." "I can't pronounce it yet, but it's really imaginative!" "I need to show you it." "I did pictures and everything!" "No, Marie..." "I said I don't need a negotiator!" " Get out." " At least let me try!" "I've only just finished it!" "This is revolutionary!" "I can't be an intern all my life, it's already been two years!" "4000 euros pocket money for an internship, who's complaining?" "Who's that?" "She's a negotiator..." "But you don't need one!" "This one is special..." "I'm special too!" "I'm your daughter!" "Aimé, are your parents good-looking?" " Yes, sir." " See, Marie?" "The best genes sometimes skip a generation." "Thanks, Aimé." "Maybe your son will have business sense, given that you find a man who is both oblivious and worthy of me." "Gentlemen, I'd like to end with an American technique used to lower stress and get rid of anger, all our negative emotions." "It's very easy, you just use your hands to chase away the bad feelings, saying:" ""Get away, get away."" "Go on." "You can do better!" "Louder!" "Terrible!" "It's like you have no anxiety to get rid of!" "My bad, I forgot the most important part." "You're all fired." "John, make ready the town car, we're going on a stakeout." "Very well, Mr Degrand." " We're moving to the Caribbean." " Oh, really?" "You'll never get to have coffee at our place!" " It's not that far." " True." "I also wouldn't get to invite you over as often." "You're not wrong there." "I'll never visit." "You sold out to Degrand!" "He gave us two million euros!" " Two million!" " That's great!" "It's only us left." "Yes!" "But the important thing is to push up the price." "Once, twice, three times!" " That's how you do it!" " He's always had business smarts!" "But we won't sell, it's not about the price." "Peter's just refused..." " How much did you refuse, Peter?" " 10 million." "10 mil... 10 mil..." " That's huge!" " It's not bad." "I knew we should have kept negotiating!" "Here's some advice, take the money." "Sooner or later, he'll get this place." " Come on, we'll miss the plane!" " Coming, dear." "Good luck, keep up the good work." " Thanks, safe travels!" " Liliane!" "Calm down!" "And our service station was twice as big as theirs!" "You're a real idiot!" "Don't worry, you can't buy paradise." " Well..." " But you don't get it, Peter." "These people are capable of anything." "So am I!" "Look at that loop-di-loop!" "Peter!" "I almost hit that bird." "Did you see?" "THALASSAUTO" "MUD BATH, WASH, DRYING UV, POLISH, CUCUMBER TREATMENT" ""Please collect your vehicle."" "What the hell have they done?" "This is an outrage!" "My car!" "You know, we don't just offer car washes here." "This is a proper "Thalassauto"." " See?" " Yeah, but my car!" "But the mud bath is very important!" "Especially after the UV wash!" "Our special clay gets rid of impurities and reinforces the bodywork!" "You didn't see the sign." " I thought it was a play on words." " Oh, no." " I see, that's pretty good." " It sure is." "Hand brake!" "But what about the cucumbers?" "What are they for?" "Oh, nothing, it's just for a laugh!" "So, leave it for five minutes..." "Get out the way!" "Out the way!" "Out the way!" "Down there, get out the way!" "Everything has its place in the universe, but with Marie, I don't see where." "John, the glove box, quick!" "Miss?" "Miss!" " Should I intervene?" " Don't move." "How did I not think of this earlier?" "Catastrophe is the perfect bait for this half-wit." " Oh, sorry..." " No, it was me." " I don't know what got into me..." " What?" "Kissing you and everything..." "You kissed me?" " Yes." " Well then!" "Where's the girl in pink?" "Was there a girl in pink?" " Girl in pink?" " Yes." "What girl in pink?" ""Please collect your vehicle."" "NORTH YONNE AMBULANCES" " Who are you?" " Sorry." "Peter." "Nice to meet you." "I'm the happy owner of the service station you've just wrecked." "This isn't right, this isn't right at all." " I have to think about this..." " Watch out!" "Let me through!" "I'm a mechanic, out the way!" "It's alright, you're safe now." "Alright?" "Is she hurt?" "How did you end up like this, Miss?" "Err..." "Ejected." " Ejected, that's it!" " What do you mean, ejected?" "Ejected!" "Ejected!" "You know!" "Ejected like a VHS tape!" " Like an illegal immigrant!" " What?" "Can't you see she's in shock?" "You are too, it seems!" "Francette, don't worry, I'll look after her." "Come with me, Miss, we won't stay here." "Alright?" "Come with me, Miss?" "Okay, I need to think about it." " Okay..." " I'm thirsty." "Okay..." "I have to think about it." "I'm really thirsty." "Let's get a drink then." "Then you can think about things for a bit." "That's the problem with sandwiches!" "You don't know which to choose!" "You're lucky to have met the Commercial Director who'll make you an exceptional offer, sir!" "For clients like you, do you know what we do?" "Two triangle sandwiches..." "Bosh!" "One square sandwich deal!" "That's great!" "I'll take it!" "Bye!" "Hello sweetheart!" "Bish bash bosh, how about a stroll?" "Allow me to introduce myself, Thierry-Antoine Cossart," "Commercial Director..." "Tac-Tac!" "On the till!" "Commercial Director?" "Hold on, I'm on the tills, but it's just to help out." "We're having problems with the cashier." " He was abducted by aliens..." " What?" " Tac-Tac..." " Calm down, it's alright!" "See you later." "I need to be alone." "I need to take stock of things." "I need to lie down!" "Alright." "I have exactly what you need." "On the left is my home." "You'll love it here, you'll see." "This is a concept I recently created." "It's one of a kind!" "Are you ready?" "Watch out." "Come in, come in." "Here it is, a bona fide motorway hotel!" "And, the cherry on top... the stunning view of the A440!" "You don't say..." "Beautiful, isn't it?" "Okay, that will do, thanks." "I should get some rest now." "So..." "Yeah, yeah, sure." "I understand, I'll leave you now." "If you really want me to..." "I'll leave you." "The secret to manipulation is to get people to convince you of what you expect of them, observe." "I didn't mean to, I swear!" "I was there, I was observing..." "Your negotiator had no class!" "You can't find women like that just anywhere!" "That was my last chance to get this land, to rub out this black mark on the map of my road." "Oh God!" "Why has my foolish daughter left an indelible smear on my monopoly?" "Wait!" "Wait!" "I could replace Petrova!" "What was her mission?" "To seduce the monkey, take him by the hand and lead him to his ruin." "She was a whore?" "Your deductive skills are almost matched by your ability to ruin my business!" "No!" "Wait!" "I can do it!" "I mean, I can seduce him!" "And I don't need to sleep with him, he's already madly in love with me!" "Fine." "Why did you never say yes to me?" "It's unbelievable!" "I'm no supermodel, that's fine," "I'm no supermodel, but I have charm, that will break him!" " Did you say yes?" " Yes..." " He said yes!" " Your mission is a secret." " Don't forget." " Thanks, Daddy!" "Don't worry, I won't say:" ""Hello, I'm Marie Degrand and I'm here to ruin you!"" "Fine, just don't disappoint me." "Okay." "I won't disappoint you." "You know that's a steering wheel, don't you?" "You know that won't work?" "But you said change the wheel!" "Replacing it isn't the same as changing it." "It's boring, I'll give you that, but as a mechanic, you always change one wheel for another wheel." "Leave that, let's check the motor." "Alright." "Where's the motor?" "Ejected!" "Bloody hell!" "It landed in the boot!" "Can you imagine the odds of that?" "Oh, yeah..." "To make thing's easier, we'll put it back up front." "I say "we", but you'll do it, as usual." "Well, no." "Luc, it's time for you to sink or swim." " Really?" " Yes." "Thanks, Peter." "Now, it's personal!" "Come in, Miss." "Miss?" "Marie..." "Ah!" "Mari-ah!" "Maria!" "My name is Maria." "Maria!" " But what's this..." " Oh, I was sick of it!" "I was hot, so I..." "It's good you've got your strength back!" "The same can't be said of your car." "It's not in very good shape." "The motor's taken a beating." "We're trying to save it, but... it doesn't look good." "Listen, I have a proposition." "We'll wait for a car to pass on, we'll take out its motor, then we'll do a transplant." "On the other hand, I won't lie, it'll take a few days." "I'll have to spend some time with you then..." "No!" "But, I thought..." "Quick!" "Help me!" "There's no time to lose!" "They didn't even stop!" "You bastards!" "It's the same every time..." "You take the head, I'll take the feet." "Let's go." "Sorry, but can you explain what exactly it is you're doing?" "Each year, 1000 signs are run over, hit and disfigured by irresponsible motorists." "Most end up at the dump, or at best recycled into tin cans." "I'm revolted by this!" "But it's just a heap of scrap..." "A roundabout" "It's a black hole" "Turning round and round in despair" "No entry" "Without these signs" "I chose my life's direction" "One chevron, danger Two chevrons, safe" "You need to find the right distance" "Slippery surface" "I love being able to take another route" "I am an aficionado" "Of markings and signals Rather than Matisse or Picasso" "I prefer road signs" "I am alone on my island" "Like Robinson Crusoe" "Ever since I was a kid" "I've been snared by their charms" "I love the way" "People re-emerge" "From the hard shoulder" "Parking" "Questioning" "Must I remain indifferent?" "And when you think In on-coming lanes" "Pure madness is your answer" "All directions Without emotion" "Leads only" "To disillusionment" "I am an aficionado" "Of markings and signals Rather than Matisse or Picasso" "I prefer road signs" "I'm alone on my island" "Like Robinson Crusoe" "Ever since I was a kid" "I've been snared by their charms" "Parking" "Questioning" "No entry" "Without these signs" "Oncoming lanes" "You think and think" "Like a roundabout" "It's a black hole" "Parking" "Questioning" "No entry" "Without these signs" "Oncoming lane" "You think and think" "Like a roundabout It's a black hole" "I'm an aficionado Of markings and signals" "Rather than Matisse or Picasso I prefer road signs" "I'm alone on my island Like Robinson Crusoe" "Ever since I was a kid I've been snared by their charms" "Hey!" " Want to have dinner tonight?" " Already?" "Yes!" "I mean, I'd love to!" "But I have nothing to change into." "Don't worry, people leave stuff here all the time." "I could open a lost clothes shop!" "Shall I bring them to your room?" "Okay." "And your change, sir." "But hey, listen, just to be clear, I'm not a cashier." "I'm just helping out." "We're having problems with the cashier." "He turned up, walked in, then got abducted by aliens!" "I was there!" "Now I've got a sweet job!" "If they took me, there'd be no Commercial Director." "Yeah, I swear!" "Watch out, their saucer is blue!" "If you see it..." "Oh, if I may, Madam." "I'd recommend this one here." " But it's like mine at home!" " Exactly." "We all feel better peeing at home!" "That's so true!" " You like her?" " Who's that?" "Don't play dumb." "Oh, that girl." "Oh..." "Once you fix her car, she'll leave!" "Repair her car?" "Easier said than done." "It was no small accident she had." "There's a mechanical check to do, the insurance..." "It could take a little while." "Leave it out!" "You know very well what I mean." "Peter?" "What do you think?" "The grey or the black?" "Grey?" "No good?" "What about the black?" "What do you mean, a funeral?" "What am I supposed to do then?" "Francette was right, I'm not cut out for this." "This won't work out, in any case, I..." "Alright then." "But you come along with me." "Having a chat, mongs?" "Bish bash bosh!" "Look, I've had some cards made up." " What do you think?" " Thierry-Antoine Cossard." "Commercial Director." "Expert in sales and marketing solutions." "See?" "And my slogan's on the back." "Don't take people for idiots, but never forget that they are." "Bosh!" "I had 4000 of these made up!" "Wait..." "This isn't cheap!" "Are you off to a wedding?" "A dinner." "With the pretty girl who smashed up the fence?" "Right." "I'm a bit nervous." "Stupid, right?" "Yeah!" "But never fear, Tac-Tac is here!" "You know what, I'll help you out." "Chatting up girls is like selling, and selling's what I know!" "Right, rule one:" "find the selling point." "For example, with me, it's my eyes, see?" "With you, it's more..." "Look, forget it, you'll sell her "fantasy"." " Fantasy?" " You just tell her whatever!" "No, that's not my thing, especially not with her." "No, wait!" "See here!" "You know what?" "I'll make you a loyalty card!" "With that, not only will she stay, she'll come back!" "After 10 dinners, she'll get one for free!" " But I'm the one inviting her!" " Doesn't matter!" "It's psychology!" "It makes her a loyal customer!" " Wait, who's on the tills?" " Francette." "Hurry then, you know she hates it." "Hold on, I hate it too, but nobody gives a damn!" "But you don't mind!" "You've got people and sales skills!" "It's easy for you!" "You're not wrong there." "I'll be off." "Aren't there any toilets in the rooms?" "Why not put rooms in the toilets while you're at it?" " How was it?" " Brilliant!" " I pissed in the sink!" " You're disgusting!" "You obviously don't do the cleaning!" "And then I'm told off!" "It's just like home!" " At your service!" " Goodbye!" "Thanks." "Did you forget something?" "No, we're here." "Sir, Madam." "Follow me, if you please." "What's making the lady smile?" "That's a bit formal, isn't it?" "So, what's making you smile?" "I just wasn't expecting this place..." "No, it's original to "dine out" at home." "It's the best in the region!" "Honestly, I don't get out much." "I really enjoy it here." "Madam." "The house cocktail." "Thanks." "Is it a Bloody Mary?" "I love Bloody Marys!" "Do you have a loyalty card?" " What?" " Don't mind him." "What's wrong with the soup?" "It's tomato soup?" "I know it's not fresh, it was only changed this morning," "So then." "Tell me." "Where were you going before the accident?" "I was..." "OTHER DIRECTIONS" " Other directions!" " What do you mean?" "You were following the "Other Directions" signs?" "Yes..." "So you were going from sign to sign to sign?" "You were following destiny, in a way." "Yes, that's beautiful!" "Exactly!" "So, tell me." "What made you think of following of these signs?" "Well, I was on the road." "As usual, I was driving..." "Then, I saw a sign, and I said to myself," "I don't know where to go anyway, so off I went!" "To "Other Directions"." "That's beautiful!" "It's poetic and brave." " Yes..." " Must be good to leave like that." "Imagining all the places to visit by following the signs..." "I reckon it's a way to end up in some industrial zone!" "Did I ask you whether you had a loyalty card?" " Can you excuse us?" " Sure." "Come with me." "Can you stop going on about loyalty cards!" " That's enough!" " You're supposed to!" "It's what the big stores do!" "Each time you go to the till, they ask you for your card." "Over time, it sticks in your head, then you end up getting one!" "Cut it out!" "Excuse me." "So, where were we?" "Look out!" "Now the night's starting!" "The house special:" "the triangle sandwich!" "Accompanied with industrial salad inspired by Renaissance still-lifes!" "Notice, I haven't stamped your loyalty card." "It would get you lots of great deals..." "Wait!" "I..." "I'd like to know more about this card!" "It's seems interesting, really!" "That's because it is!" " Yes!" " It's very simple." "This is the FBI:" ""Peter Loyalty Card"!" ""Peter Loyalty Card" doesn't make FBI..." "No..." "That makes PLC, but as it says FBI, it'll sell more!" "In principal, it's very easy." "Each time Peter takes you out to dinner, you'll be given one..." "A stamp, that is." " Give it a rest..." " Alright, sorry." "After 10 stamps, you'll get a free dinner!" "But he invited me out..." "Doesn't matter!" "It's psychology!" "It makes you a loyal customer!" "Wait!" "It'd be a shame to not use it right away!" " How much is it?" " You don't have to..." "But if I can get one tonight I'll be set!" "Fine!" "Do the card!" "Sure, everybody is talking about the card here tonight!" " I just need your surname." " Degrand." "Like Degrand Services?" "Not at all!" "My name is spelt D-E-G-R-A-N-D." " Like Legrand services?" " Right, but with a D!" "Like Degrand Services." "Alright!" "Shall we drink?" "Here's to us!" " To your signs." " To you." "To your "Other Directions"." "My "Other Direction"" "is you." "How can you say that?" "I mean, you hardly know me." "That's true." "Well, who are you?" "Maybe, you're a..." "Who are you?" "I don't know know know know know" "But I know that you're my other direction" "Who are you?" "I still don't know know know know know" "But something's telling me" "That you're not a cheat" "A chicken thief" "A vampire" "A philanderer" "Or even worse, a wife-swapping perfectionist" "Or a complete bull-shitter" "Solo!" "And, perhaps" " And, perhaps!" " You love eating dogs or cats" " Cats!" " In the mornings" "In order to start the day right" "Oh, for breakfast!" " Perhaps" " Perhaps!" "You love slitting the throats of little old ladies" " Slitting throats!" " Of Jeanines and Gérmaines" "So the week gets off to a good start" "Maybe you're a kleptomaniac, a farter, an agoraphobic" "A dentist, a taxidermist" "Or a raccoon" " Hey, Peter" " Hey, Peter!" "I don't know who you are, but I like you" "You are, without hesitation" "My other direction" "You are, without hesitation" "My other direction" "You are, without hesitation, my other direction" "No, no!" "Not before marriage!" " What are you doing?" " Calling the Mayor!" "It's a bit late, isn't it?" "Yeah, you're right." "Let's do it tomorrow." "Maria" "From the moment I saw you" "Laying in the sand" "I imagined us completely naked" "When we'd be old, inseparable" "Oh, Maria" "My wealth, it is now you" "My new service station, my fortress" "Will you give me your hand?" "Do you want to marry me" "Tomorrow?" "Actually, I can't do tomorrow." "Because of Patagonia!" "Yes, that's right!" "I've always dreamed of going to Patagonia." "I know you're very comfortable here." "But I've always sworn to myself to get married and have kids there." "Alright." " What are you doing?" " A transplant." "I replaced your motor, you can leave today." "Luc, number 12 spanner." "Today?" "Without you?" "What about last night?" "I don't understand." "Last night, I was intoxicated by the mood, by your charm, by the tomato soup." "Luc, Phillips head screwdriver." "But, wait." "The "Other Directions" signs, destiny, you and me..." "I didn't make it up!" "This can't be!" "Your life is half the world away!" "I have my team, my family," "I can't leave them like that, I'm sorry." "But..." "Maria!" "This isn't any easy job, please don't make it harder!" "But if you sold this service station, you could give everyone a brilliant retirement." "Your whole team!" "Hey..." "Like this." "Where does your unleaded 95 come from?" "The Persian Gulf?" "From the smell, I'd say it's cut with North Sea oil." "You're a loser." "You're a loser too." "You over there, you're ugly!" "Free as the air" "What is this place?" "This hell?" "I'm not even somebody, I'm just somewhere else" "Yes, that's right" "I'm there, just there, I'm tired" "Everything goes by, and I" "I'm still in the same place" "Free as the air" "DEGRAND FUEL CHEAPER AND CLEANER" "I don't give a damn about birds..." "CHEAPER: 0.5 EUROS PER LITRE CLEANER:" "TWO EUROS PER LITRE" "NATURE THANKS YOU" "Thanks from Degrand Services!" ""Thanks from Degrand Services, and have a nice day!"" "It took marketing big-wigs hours to come up with that slogan!" "Being a cashier isn't a hard job!" "Marie!" "So happy to see you!" "Try these strawberries, I've got hectares of them!" "You'll be happy, I've used your idea." ""The Land Struggle."" "I've purchased all the fields around the monkey's station." "From a technical standpoint, this changes nothing, he's still the owner of his station, but for how long?" "Psychologically, it's sublime!" "A monopoly is like the tide, the waters rise, progressively, inevitably, until they engulf everything." "And when you leave him penniless, his lost island will complete the biggest commercial area ever built on the A440!" "Marie, put my mind at ease." "Are those tears of joy running down those delicate cheeks?" "Hey, Peter!" "You dropped this, what is it?" "It's to make weirdoes talk!" "DEGRAND SERVICE STATIONS" "You were right, I am a loser." "I messed it all up." "Painful, isn't it?" "To think yourself a winner but turn out to be a loser?" " Answer me." " Yes, it's funny like that." "Then what good is it to admit you lost at being a winner?" "What pomp!" "What nobility!" "What pride!" "Failure and shame give sense to victory and pride." " He was into me!" " And your departure consumes him!" "He's in absolute agony!" "Roger Bussy-Rabutin once said:" ""Absence is to love as wind is to fire, it extinguishes the little and kindles the great."" "Let his pain run its course for a few more hours and go back." "You marry him and make him think that his shabby station will be your lifetime retreat!" "You want us to get married?" "Every divorce needs a marriage to begin with!" " What?" " You'll sign twice." "The first time to join your assets, of which you have none, the second time to make off with half of what's his." "Ruined, he'll beg me to put him out of his misery!" "You see?" "Love is nature's gallows, and he will hang from it!" "It's simple, like a brainwave!" " Isn't this going too far?" " I always knew you'd go far." "Really?" "DEGRAND FAMILY SERVICE STATIONS MR DEGRAND AND HIS DAUGHTER MARIE" "EDOUARD DEGRAND" "IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE..." "Hello?" " Hello?" " Peter..." "Peter, I thought about it, you're my Patagonia!" " Maria?" " How could I ask you to leave?" "I had nothing!" "I didn't even know where I was going!" " Do you forgive me, Peter?" " For what?" "I've come to live here with you!" "Great, right?" "What do you think?" "What?" "What!" "Do you think I'm crazy?" "You think I change my mind from one day to the next?" "Do you think it's going too fast?" "What is it?" " Wait, Maria..." " No!" "You're not listening!" "You'll confuse me so I forget what I'm saying!" "What was I saying?" "Oh, yeah!" "I want you to say yes." "Yes, yes, yes!" "Yes, you're happy to see me and you want to marry." "And yes, I can live here with you." "Maria, you won't last a week here." " Not a single week!" " Is that a bet?" " A bet?" "What do you..." " Alright then!" "One week, and if I win, you marry me!" "You're on!" "1 OCTOBER" "Thank you." " Thank you." " Thanks, goodbye!" "Bosh!" "Your turn." "Bosh!" "I might not be the only one, but I'm glad you're here!" "I don't know if I said, but I'm not a cashier." "I'm Commercial Director." "We had this massive problem..." "Oh yes, with the light and the saucer?" " I know, you told me." " Exactly!" "Get out of here then, Mr Commercial Director!" " Maria's on the tills..." " Yeah, right!" "And Peter's doing rhythmic gymnastics." "Luc!" "Love really does turn you into an idiot." "2 OCTOBER" "Here you go." "Thank you, goodbye." "Peter!" "Gypsies in the car park!" "Call the police!" "Ladies and gentlemen, everything is fine!" "It's not that my cashier thinks that all gypsies are thieves..." "Oh, it is that." "Don't worry about your bags and kids, they're fine." "You can't scare people like that for no reason!" "Sorry." "I hope you've learned your lesson." "There's no prejudice here." " Not all gypsies are thieves!" " I get it!" "Good." "By the way, I know this lot, and they are in fact thieves." "Come on." "Hello?" "Hello." "Oh, nobody's there." "Oh!" "Thieves!" "Oh!" "My cigar!" " They stole my cigar!" " Thieves!" " Thieves!" " Oh, no!" " Thieves!" " Thieves!" " Thieves!" " Those thieves!" " Thieves!" " Bloody thieves!" " Hey, Peter." "Alright?" " Yeah, I'm alright." "How were we?" "Was I a bit too over the top?" "No, it was great!" "Perfect!" "I'm a big fan!" "Oh yes!" "And all the gestures..." "I've just done a class in..." " Miming!" " You can really tell!" "Maria, allow me to present Ben and Julie, two actor friends." " Thanks, guys." " No problem." " I'll send your pay tomorrow." " Great." " See you soon." " Bye, Peter!" "You pay them to get robbed?" "No, those things are from lost and found." "See?" "Everyone's happy!" "Proper travellers aren't robbed and the thieves leave with a little something!" "Don't you think you're encouraging the thieves?" "You know, I'm not here to judge them." "I just want people to have a good time here." "Understand?" "I guess." "Okay... 3 OCTOBER" "Thanks." "Oh, Babylon!" "It's rotten to the core" "Have you seen this Bob CD?" "Have you seen the price?" "I say that humans beings are not good people" "Bob Marley said it too in the all his choruses" "His message of peace, to listen to it, you must pay" "If everything was free, we'd all get our fill" "Hey there kid, I'm Peter I own this place" "You're young with a good heart but you're getting worked up" "The world is good for blacks and whites" "As for the Bob Marley CD" "It's on the house, take it, please" "Yeah" "What?" "You're the boss of this station?" "Capitalist exploitation!" "If you give away his music" "You're screwing over Bob Marley!" " No..." " He needs to eat and smoke too!" "The way you put it, the world is poor" "Yeah man!" "I'll deal with him." "Let me tell you something." "In fact, Bob Marley is dead, didn't you know?" " No!" "I didn't know..." " I'm so sorry." "Thanks!" "SHOULD THE RICH BE TAXED?" "Your girlfriend was right!" "Now, I'll start studying law again to make money and crush everyone!" "I'll switch from spliffs to coke!" "Here you go." "Ciao!" "I made him happy!" "I thought we weren't here to judge?" " No?" " One point to you then." "One point to me." "4 OCTOBER" "Sorry, I'll start again." "5 OCTOBER" "6 OCTOBER" "May I?" "That's pretty good!" "Super!" "It's starting to sink in." "Good job!" "I'll let you get on with it." "Here she is again!" "She's our most frequent customer!" "What?" "You didn't know?" ""The Girl in Every Porsche", we call her." " I'll be off." " Okay." " It's great you've met someone." " Yeah." "I'd never stay here for this!" "That's for sure." " Know what this is?" " No?" "It's a potion that makes weirdoes talk!" "Aren't you sick of telling me rubbish?" "Hey!" "Your stringless yo-yo doesn't work!" "It doesn't work!" "Look!" "See?" " It doesn't work!" " Obviously!" "There's no string." "You need to connect it to Wifi, then it'll work!" "I'm so stupid!" "Can I get a new one?" "Sure." "That'll be 50 euros." " Thanks, have a nice day!" " Thanks!" " Excuse me, are you a weirdo?" " No." "I'm stunned to hear you say that, but that guy there, he's a real weirdo." "Drink this." "It'll make you talk." "It will, I'm telling you." "That's disgusting." "Disgusting?" "Is everything going well?" "Yes, very well, in fact." "Is that why you left the till with no word of warning?" "Don't you want to tell me what's going on?" "You're the kind of guy who hits on any girl!" "Hold on, it's finished with her." "It has nothing to do with you." "Did I ask you what you were doing before you got here?" "Peter, this is great!" "It works!" " It works!" " What is it?" "It makes weirdoes talk!" "What?" "Oh, thanks, Luc." "What is it?" "This doesn't make sense." "Why take petrol from my Porsche?" "Incredible!" "So..." "Not easy." "Scent of tetraethyl lead in order to reveal octane undertones." "This is no longer in production." "I'd say it's from 1972." " No!" " Yes!" " That's it!" " It is!" "That's mind-blowing!" "Hold on..." "You'll never get this one." "It's very rare." "Excellent distillation..." " That's easy." " What is it?" "It's..." "What is it?" "Schist?" " It's..." " Oil shale!" "That's easy." "1939, Télots mines in Bourgogne." "The "grand cru"!" "The ultimate luxury!" "That's crazy." " Great noses smell alike." " Right." "How did you develop this great nose of yours?" "Oh look!" "He's cute!" "So funny!" ""Hello!" "I'm the motorway kangaroo!" "I live on a magic island on a sea of asphalt and I love everyone!"" " No..." " No?" "What is it?" "Maria." "This is the stuffed toy that my mother left in my cot on the day she left me at the shop." "It's not so great." " She abandoned you?" " Yes." " Did she not come back?" " Well..." " I mean, will she never come back?" " I don't know." "That's so dodgy!" " What I mean is, it's bad." " Right." "No so lucky, eh?" " My mother is dead." " Oh..." "It's not exactly the same thing." "With me, it's quite clear cut, she's dead." "So," "I've grieved for her, I'm not waiting for her." "I'm not saying you're waiting, I just mean..." "Look, don't worry." "With any luck, your mother is dead too." "Well..." "I'd best get going." "I need to be on top form for my last trial day." "Please!" "My wife is giving birth, I need help!" "I'm sorry, sir." "For insurance issues, please understand, we can't take any responsibility." "Where's the nearest hospital?" "I'm sorry, sir." "We don't have the right to advertise other establishments." "What can you do then?" "Thanks from Degrand Services!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "And have a nice day!" "The only trick is, don't fly above the fields." "If you have to land there, it gets a bit complicated." "Yes!" "That's it!" "The exact opposite of what I said!" "I can't fly straight." "No, no, straighten up, otherwise you'll..." " I'm sorry." " Don't worry." "Coming?" "What is it?" "Are you angry?" "What's wrong?" " Maria, listen..." " Peter!" "Peter!" "Big problem in the car park!" "As much as I know about mechanics, this is..." "Peter, are you alright?" "I'll deal with this." "Do you happen to have a heart rate monitor here?" "Err, no." "Well make do with what we have, I need one!" "It's alright." "It'll be alright, you're in good hands." "Luc!" "I'll need a number 12 spanner." "Why a number 12 spanner?" "I know what I'm doing." "Tac-Tac!" "GPS." "Bish, bash, bosh." "There you go." ""You are in the vaginal tunnel." "In two centimetres, gently turn right."" "Francette!" "Clean sheets and hot water." "Peter." " Yes?" " Beat-box." "Okay..." "Joe!" "Don't do anything." ""Estimated arrival in five minutes."" "Please, don't worry" "I don't know how to do this" "In any case, you need to push" "Where on earth is the perineum?" "Everything is going really well" "Well, what do I know?" "Push!" "Push!" "Push!" "Oh my God, this is great!" "Oh my God, I can see a foot!" "When will this be over?" "Just after the episiotomy" "Would it hurt less" "With an epidural?" "Err, I don't have one." "Push!" "Push!" "Push!" "Okay, it's fine." "Breathe!" "Contract!" "Contract!" "Breathe!" "Push!" "Push!" "Breathe!" "Contract!" "Push!" "Number 12 spanner!" "Here." "Thanks." "Thank you." ""You have arrived at your destination."" "To Maria!" "Here." " She's a real champ!" " To Maria!" "I'd say you've won your bet." "It's been a week." "Maria, will you marry me tomorrow?" "Tomorrow?" "Who are you?" "Now that I know" "I can no longer be far from your arms" "You are my journey, my home" "Tomorrow, I'll marry you!" "There's something you should know." "What?" "Come with me." "Here we are." "Listen." "Peter!" "Bloody hell!" "Tell me, neighbour, were you about to come onto my land?" "Your land?" "You're getting into farming?" "Aren't service stations working out?" "There's no competition, it's no fun." "But enough about me, how are you?" "I was worried, I haven't heard from you." "I've very good thanks, marvellous, in fact." "I'm getting married tomorrow!" "Oh!" "What great news!" "And this lovely lady is the bride, I suppose?" "Absolutely." "This is Maria, Maria Degrand." " No!" " Ironic, isn't it?" "Oh yes!" "She could be my daughter!" "Pretty, honest and down-to-earth?" "I don't think so." "Pretty and honest, sweet illusions of blind love." "May you never be fooled." "If you don't believe it, come to a happy event for once." "It's at 10 am tomorrow." "With pleasure!" "I'll arrive near the end though." "I have important admin tasks to complete for tomorrow morning, concerning the promotion of one of my best female workers." "Great." "See you tomorrow." "Tomorrow it is!" "And congratulations, Miss." "Rest assured, tomorrow, your dream will come true!" "Are you alright?" "Wait, Maria..." "I..." "I love you." "I've never left this service station." " What?" " Never." "In all my life, I've never left once." "What are you telling me?" "The truth." "If I try to cross that line," "I don't know, I can't breathe, it's like I'm suffocating..." "You had me going for a minute!" "What are you doing?" " This'll get me there." " What?" "Peter?" "Peter?" "Peter!" "I'm so stupid." "Good day, Madam!" "Welcome to the marriage of Peter and Maria!" "I'll find you a nice space, you'll see." "Sit yourself down here." " Thank you." " There you go..." "The ushers are paid in tips..." " Oh, sorry." " No problem." "Thank you." "Who wants to throw rice?" "Rice here!" " I'll take some rice." " Sure thing." "There you go." "That'll be one euro." "That's not cheap..." "Well, it is basmati." "Thank you!" "Bish, bash, bosh!" "Sweets, toffees, chocolate, grains of rice..." " Hello!" " Hello." "I'm Peter, nice to meet you." "Sir." "Maria?" "You could use this for a veil." "It's a bit heavy but the colour's not bad." "Maria?" "I have to say, it's exactly like mine at home." " Mr Degrand, I think it's time." " Not yet!" "Maria's gone!" "Her bike isn't here." "Sorry, don't you mean her car?" "Who cares about the brand?" "Why ask about her bike's maker?" " Mr Degrand, I think it's time." " Not yet." "John!" "It's time!" "Wait!" "There she is!" "MR DEGRAND AND HIS DAUGHTER MARIE" "Marie..." "Welcome to my service station!" ""Put your hands up in the air", it's English!" "A marriage, a divorce" "And your entire life comes tumbling down and collapses" "You believed in love" "You were snubbed off" "I am the end of your service station" "The meteorite to your Jurassic period" "And so a great reptile ends up as a fossil" "And this service station" "Will be, and don't be displeased," "Part of my empire, the firmament" "You danced" "Oh, I'm so happy!" "This is now a construction site!" "Tomorrow, we will erect the biggest Degrand tower ever built on the A440!" "No!" "No!" "There was no wedding." " I beg your pardon?" " She's left, it's for the best." "She's gone!" "It's in everyone's interest!" "Hurts, doesn't it?" " Does it sting?" " Go away, don't come any closer." "Don't come any closer." "Yeah!" "That's right!" "Does anyone here want this guy to "get away"?" "Yeah!" "Peter?" "I PROMISE, I'LL BE BACK" "Control tower, authorising take-off of 4L Charlie Tango." "I'm as free as the air" "Peter!" "It's Luc!" "Respond!" "Peter!" "Peter?" "Are you alright?" "Peter, respond!" "Peter!" "Are you alright?" "Do you read me?" "Peter!" " It's alright, I crossed the line." " Yes!" "OTHER DIRECTIONS" "INDUSTRIAL ZONE" "Marie." "I prefer Maria." "Your breasts are like apples I bite into them" "You are stunned" "Your ears are like chewing gum" "Which I bite unashamedly" "Tie up my hands" "Treat me like a pig" "I leave marks on my man" "Like a snail from Bourgogne" "I slap your backside" "I'll be your mistress" "I'll bump your other cheek" "You little sinner" "Give me your sweet caress" "You doubt your weaknesses" "Give me everything" "Even your herpes" "You are the Eva Perón" "Of my testosterone" "And you're the Che of my hormones" "This is the revolution!" "Come see, my sweet" "The roses are in bloom" "The finger on my klaxon" "You've found the "on" button" "I press all your buttons" "Until they explode" "You snore like a bison" "It gives me the shivers" " All my short-comings go away" " Oh, yes?" " I'd think you were pretty..." " What?" "Even if you had three nipples" "Love makes us stupid" "But it's oh-so good!" "Laughing for no reason" "In every position" "On the floor and on the ceiling" "We orgasm as we please" "You're a little late." "Hold on, there was the light, and the saucer..." "Yeah, yeah, whatever..." "Love makes us stupid" "But it's oh-so good!" "Laughing for no reason" "In every position" "On the floor and on the ceiling" "We orgasm as we please" "Love makes us stupid" "But it's oh-so good!" "Laughing for no reason" "All the positions" "On the floor and on the ceiling" "We orgasm as we please" "ASPHALT IS IN THE AIR" "SUBTITLES:" "RED BEE MEDIA FRANCE"