"What is an husband, girls?" "Man who makes living for home who turns his back in the bed and sleeps like a log." "Like a coach, like a brazier he's the dead-stock of home." "Hey girls, time's changed." "Men of old age were like goliath their houses were like a castle they used to perform like a real men in the bed." "Four wives were not enough for them." "More of four they hooked up on the string." "What happened?" "Time's changed." "Men got inferior, women got grandiose." "Then four men became inadequate for one woman." "Husbands of today don't interfere in anything give and get what's needed, pass away earlier with no trouble." "The deceased husband of Hürmüz owner of this huge mansion, Pasha Fettah used to shout as "Hürmüüüz" and when she gets near him used to say "Check if everything's all right"." "Hürmüz after examining his body, used to say "My Pasha the excellence, your bird doesn't show up today either"." "Sister, what a famous matchmaker you are you know what real a man is." "How can we identify the right man?" "A man is a bird to leave you at the first occasion." "It must be you who will catch him and hitch on to home." " How?" " You will cherish him, my child." "He runs away if you squeeze too much but if you pat his back, call him "my hero"..." "What does he do?" "Yes?" "Then the chicks scratch around, cocks cheer up." "How could they boast around saying "be you divorced"?" "You the old guys, you be divorced." "We need new ones." "Hey sister, you are so witty..." "Girls, why do you sit down dressed such indecently there is a man in the room." "No problem, there are no bans for the groom." "That's right." "He looks like a fly that can bite..." "I am sure this guy will not be able to make it." "He will be cruising in the morning." "Have you heard, Hürmüz had a husband who passed away in the jail." "How could have she get married again if he hadn't passed away?" "Hürmüz!" " Yes Safinaz?" "What number husband is this among your others?" "He is the first after my deceased husband..." "Gossip is something you should do in one's absence..." "But it is a tradition to make a bride cry, go away." "You the bride, come, let's belly-dance." "Come out with me." "You are not supposed to talk like this..." "What are you doing?" "Are you going to have me punished?" "But they thought I was joking." "I gave your money, I saw how you are." "Aren't we sharing the secret?" "Is the price of my matchmaking only a schilling?" "Husband none, home like a barn." "Perfect fit!" "You were supposed to take me to this mansion?" "If I hadn't introduced you the codger called "Fettah Pasha" how would have you owned this mansion?" "But what I get is only a widow's pension of a few cents." "Let the master take over the job, child." "Look at the husbands I found;" "one Pasha, one Captain!" "And yours?" "Sorry but you fall in love with basin in the baths and with clarinet in the wedding ceremony!" "Hey come on, what number husband is this man?" "Count please." "Let me see, Fettah Pasha one, but he passed away, so not included." "Barber Hasan, one;" "night man Memo, two..." "And you host those slovens in the mansion, right?" "When do all those men visit you?" "Don't worry, all of them don't show up at the same time of course." "Each one has a different day." "On Tuesdays, may barber expects me at his own home." "He thinks I'm a housemaid in the mansion." "Wednesdays belong to the night man Memo he comes here and sleeps like a log till the morning." "Thursday is the day of my Sergeant Memed Ali living abroad..." "Isn't he dead?" "He's in the war, but he is alive, I receive his letters." "Cotton-fluffer Rüstem in Lüleburgaz, takes Fridays." "Saturdays taken by Rocket Ömer he's in the jail because of fighting around." "It's good he's in the jail, I can relax." "And the sixth, if god allows, Captain Hýzýr!" "I plan to allocate him the Sundays..." " Oh my god!" "My husbands, my husbands, my husbands..." "How can you keep all those secrets on your own?" "OK, this room is yours." " Hey God!" "But now we share the secrets." " Thank god." "Let's go inside and celebrate this." " Yes!" "Maybe we can match make Günter Pasha for me, the yellow head." "What?" "I am not informed about the village lately." "I got horny too, for your info." "Come." "Girls!" "# You place your boat down to the arms of the sea #" "# Oh sea, Black sea, takes you in his arms, #" "# You sail shore by shore, #" "# You release the fish net down to the water, #" "# Boat starts sailing backwards #" "# Comes the fish right to the fishnet, #" "# Flows the water straight to the rocks #" "# Welcome you, the generous sea, welcome. #" "# Oh sea, shivers the water of Black sea. #" "# This girl is sometimes calm but sometimes get wavy. #" "# I am drunk with the love of the sea, #" "# Sail my Dragon, this girl's staying here. #" "# I'm looking at Hýzýr behind the boat, #" "# Hýzýr the Sea Dragon, sea got misty. #" "# Oh sea, shivers the water of Black sea. #" "# This girl is sometimes calm but sometimes get wavy. #" "Release my bird, here came the releaser." "Releaser..." "Let my heart, my bird fly away and land someday..." "Time of death comes and finds you." "Let yourself taken into hands someday." "Release my bird, here came the releaser." "Could we set a bird free for the sake of my father?" "Let's do." "How much?" "Somebody's money, somebody's prayers lady..." "Set this poor one free from the jail." "May God bless you." "May God accept." "Freedom, this is your day, move on..." "May god forgive..." "God bless you." "God bless you too, bye." "Keep working!" "Good night!" "See the judge!" "You blackguard, don't run away..." "What's the matter, why did that crazy bird-man run away?" "He catches birds using birdlimes then sets them free on pay, that's his job." "Our religion doesn't approve something like that." "He knows what will happen to him." "I applied him a twenty-stick beating." "From now on I will make it fifty-stick." "Sixty." "Seventy." "Eighty." "Ninety." "One hundred." "A Hundred, one hundred." "Look at the cuckold, he's rigorously staring around who knows which woman he's going after." "Even if forty sluts come together they cannot give birth to such a blackguard." "He can't get satisfied." "We can at least get the women he left behind, if god wills, Amen." "My grand judge, finally I could find you." "Night guard Memo, what's this hurry?" "Rýza Pasha called you." "Just a moment ago, a lieutenant informed us." "What is the matter?" "Rebellion!" "Rebellion in Sultanahmet prison." "Pasha calls your nephew Hüsrev as well, to go to Beyazýt." "Move, Hüsrev is at home." "Codger..." "What about your wives?" "Tell me even if it's a lie, I like it." "What's going on my boy, you'll break the door!" "Rebellion in the prison!" "Really?" "What's going on?" "Rebellion, I am sure many people are wounded..." "The infirmary of firemen bastion in Beyazýt is filled with wounded people, they call all the doctors." "Naturally, they expect you as well." "Let's go, how did it come out?" "How many people are wounded?" " So many." "Thanks for coming, come again." "Look at this mansion, everyday there's party..." "Does the bird of this Pasha sing?" "Isn't he dead?" "If he's dead, who has got married then?" "His bird is singing..." "It's a tradition." "Would I tell you what to do in bridal chamber?" "To me?" "I know better than everybody!" "Tell me, when will this man come home and go back?" "Did you set everything properly?" "Don't worry, I told Captain Hýzýr that Father Hadji went to the spa..." "I won't let him come home any day other than Sunday." "And that's only once a month and if he brings a golden coin each time..." "Excellent!" "Is there anything you need to ask before you step into the bridal bed?" "Yes there is..." "Was the call to night prayer given already?" "Yes of course." "Why?" "Sea Dragon is ready!" "That's my boat!" "Early in the morning, we'll move for sailing." "Where is this lady?" "Where is she?" "Where is she?" "Come on!" "Come on!" "I am sick of your continuously asking for wedding wedding and wedding!" "Stop stop, what's this flurry?" "She won't be coming here." "You will be going her room." "Then I am moving." "Good night." "Hey, stop!" "Come on, move!" "Come on." "Why are you in such hurry, what are you doing?" "I see you are ready but..." "Let's see how the bride is..." "What do you mean?" "It's a secret, I can't tell." "Don't drive me crazy, tell me now." "Look..." "That's very simple..." "But see, our girl is coy and shy she doesn't surrender easily, I have to understand what you'll do with her." "She will get calm if I slap her twice." "Is this how you interpret my words?" "How can you do this?" "What to do then?" "You have to offer her jewellery, as the cost of seeing her face." "So you can lift her veil." "And then?" "You have to use sweet words to convince her." "Then I say baklava!" "Use delicate, nice words." "Needle, string, hair..." "I will get crazy with you!" "It's me to get crazy." "You the festival clown!" "You think I am stupid?" "Stupid?" "Is it you who to teach me kindness?" "Two slaps in your face..." "Listen to me, if you peek in the key hole..." "I will shot you from your brow, understand?" " OK." "Hürmüz?" "Inside my cuff..." "Where have I put it?" "Let's take this first." "Let me present you the jewel to lift the veil then let's start working." "Come on, lie down my lady." "Pray!" " Pray?" "Yes, pray for the bridal chamber." " Pray for what?" "For bridal chamber." "If you don't, we can't benefit from our marriage." "I have done it once but..." "For bridal chamber?" " No, for funeral." "I didn't know how to do it, so I copied what the others were doing." "But this time you cannot do it together with several men!" "I don't know any prayers!" "God knows what you mean." "Come on my hero, do it as you know." "Ten parts." "Move." "You can use the pitcher over there for ablution." "Take this rope unleashed from its pier-post away from me, I feel very bad." "What do you say?" " He's a speaking axe, instead of a man." "You've already taken this staff, what else do you need a man for, right?" "Yes." " Yes!" "Are you nuts?" "This is almost a robbery." "This man is a real sly." "How will we get along with him?" "He carves both of us." "Leave him to me." " What will you do, tell me?" "Come on tell me, what will you do?" "Hey, girl!" "Oh my god." "# Oh cute and tiny, her honey skin so fragrant, #" "# Come on let's smell each other, I will not let you to fade away. #" "Fire!" "# Fire, fire, I am burning!" "#" " Come firemen, fire, help!" "# Fire, fire, I'm burning!" "Come help me friends, I am inflamed!" "#" "# Fire, fire, I'm burning!" "Come help me friends, I am inflamed!" "#" "# Fire, fire, I'm burning!" "#" "# Come help me friends, I'm inflamed #" " Fire!" " Where?" " Boats in Galata are burning." " What did you say, what?" "One ship named Zülfikar, the other one..." "Çehre-i Zâr, next one Dâr-ý Hülya, and the final one is Sea Dragon." "This damned crew, burned my boat." " My husband, my husband..." "I have to go immediately." "My Sea Dragon is burning!" "Don't go, my husband, my husband." "How will I survive without you?" "Take this and try to manage yourself, I am leaving." "My husband, what a miserable woman I am..." "Oh friends, will I ever be happy in this life..." "Help me friends, I am inflamed." "Welcome Pasha, would you like to have fresh tea?" "Will be glad." "Immediately." "Our crazy German came." "I guess his bird is a German one." "I heard he could not piss across the wall, he could do only when crouching." "Don't make fun of him." "He cannot bite I guess but he licks well." " Really?" "Oh secret love!" "Fate is merciless..." "Times are turbulent / Too many troubles but friends are few" "So strong the enemies, too bad the fate is." "He sounds too miserable, I can cry." "He speaks German but the accent is familiar, I think." " Yes." "Hasan, tidy me up." " As you o-order, of co-course." "I am ash-ashamed to say, it's be-become only three mo-months I got ma-married to my woman." "Bu-but I couldn't se-see her fa-face yet." "She is o-off once a we-week, on Tu-tuesdays but im-impossible to see." "Hou-hou..." " Husband?" "Housemaid in the mansion." "But her bo-boss is a bad wo woman, mistreating her all the time." "She ordered to stay in her room, saying "you are my a a a... "" "Abbey." "Addict." "Attach." "At home!" ""A-a-adopted child"." "Therefore she cannot visit me." "I didn't even see her face." "She cannot object her, poor girl." "I could not understand." " Me neither!" "She has to say, I just got ma..." "Mansion..." " No!" "Married, could I as as as..." "Be polite..." "Not to to to to to..." "Don't touch." " Not told, she can't." "She young and is naive." " She is?" "And I will tell you something, if you have one hour time I will speak to you for five minutes." "A woman..." "S-s-s-sss." " You will see." "S" " S-sly, if she's sly..." "Co co co..." " Contact!" "Come close to her whether or not sh-sh-she's got the thing, can understand the val-val-value of a man, but no ho ho..." "Ho ho ho ho ho..." " Horror Hasan?" "Hope, no hope..." "Our chicks don't understand." "See ho-how I co-co-uld s" " S-s-speak?" "But again I started to stu-stu-stutter, da-dam-damned mouth of you!" "I was just about to correct..." "Releaser..." "Releaser." "You keep silent, why don't you sing." "Girls, this bird is singing / Stands upright." "And lies down / Fat-bottomed Hayriye " "Always on my mind." "You the birdman Cebrail, you have wings right?" "I can sprout wings if you want." "I can even grow a tail..." "Don't think so." "Come on, release, may it bring me luck..." "How can you pay so much just for a bird?" "With this money I can release three concubines." "Don't worry, I will compensate it later." "For you..." "Don't go my bird!" "Love your father, don't forget him." "I will ask you a question." " Ask." "This bird flew away and didn't come back." "How could you teach the bird to come back after the customer disappears?" "I don't tell you, it's a professional secret." "How many husbands do you have, Hürmüz?" "Are you nuts?" "Have got chin tuberculosis, cracked clarinet?" "How many roosters you have at home?" "How can you manage without breaking the eggs?" "I said Hürmüz, the infidel / I didn't ask you to throw away." "It's enough if you just look at my face." "Thanks Hasan..." "Of course sir." "Thanks." "Here is a real man." "Hü-hü-Hürmüz?" "Hürmüz!" "Hasan." "My Hü-hü-Hürmüz!" " My Hasan!" "Hü-hü-hü..." " My Hasan!" "My Hü-hü-Hürmüz!" "I wa-was just thin-thinking about yo-you." "I was, too." "My dear, my soul." "I like your beautiful mind." "As I could step out from home, I wanted to see how my Hasan is doing..." "Very good, come in my sultan." "I can't come inside a men's barbershop." "Inappropriate!" "Banned!" "OK." "Ho-how cou-could you get rid of that bitch?" "I said I am bored." "I kept telling it for 10 days finally today she asked me to go out and buy some henna." "Oh that bitch!" "My Hürmüz, what's the matter with you?" " Nothing." "Yes there is something, te-te-tell me." "All the girls in the mansion have bracelets it's only me who doesn't, so the headmaid teases on me saying only I don't have saying I have a husband but not a bracelet." "That headmaid..." "You don't know my husband, he is so strong, such a hero, I said." "He wouldn't think of taking a bracelet even if he finds it on the road." "What do you think Hasan is like..." "What do you think he's like, I said." "My Hü-hü-Hürmüz, how much is a bracelet?" "Two golden coins..." " What?" "Two golden coins." " Two, right?" "But I would not make you upset, I already have the money for one It's enough if you give me the other one." "OK, I die for you." "Let me-me go to the je-je-jeweller, OK?" "Tell me once more!" " Let me go to the jeweller, my Hürmüz." "Tell me once more!" "My Hürmüz..." " My dear, my soul, bravo!" "# I was yours, stove stick to my hand. #" "# Don't leave me away my Hürmüz, let me be your louse, #" "# I come by you and accept your authority, #" "# I die hand in hand, I howl on your door #" "# Tie me, let me be your dog, #" "# Sit down inside, don't turn on the lights, #" "# Don't get out of the mansion, don't look around, #" "# I would be coming if I had a horse, Hürmüz... #" "# Hürmüz let me be your horse, ride me." "Oh!" "#" "Hürmüz, do you know how Rüstem suffers here..." "I will fluff you like cotton, I am sick for you." "You the devious." "One might think you are a proper man." "But a good husband is something which doesn't exist!" "How can you dare to spend the sustenance of your family with a slut in Istanbul." "You the bear." "Give him a rose, he wipes his ass." "He got married to a housemaid in a mansion." "Then?" "You know Süloðlu from Þarköy?" " So?" "His wife, Rukiye will be giving a baths party." "She will also invite that bitch, so I will tear her hair out!" "And show her what it is to sweat in the bath." "Listen, my husband will be travelling to Istanbul." "Let's go together with him?" "Does your husband allow us to do this?" "He has to!" "Hey, man!" "What, you scared me." "I am going to travel to Istanbul." "What for?" " Henna party of Süloðlu." "Good." "Who will take care of my mother when you go there?" "Why don't you do it for a few days?" "That's not possible." "I cannot let you go on your own." "You are a delicate person." " What did you say?" "Have a safe trip." "Tell my regards to Rukiye." "But return back on Friday." " Lf I don't?" "You don't then." " Damn you!" "Hürmüz!" "What are you doing in front of this barbershop?" "Oh my country!" "Oh the compassionate science may you be pleased and happy today!" "Look at the night guard Memo, the hero!" "Here is my hero!" "You the motherland's children, stop crying." "Woman!" "I will spit to the arch of your chin." "I am about to laugh." " Don't laugh Memo..." "May your future come by soon, if god wills." "May your day come." "Are you waiting here to read me poems?" "I brought the razors of Pasha to the barber." "And he is out for sharpening them." "Is him the Pasha?" " No, not Pasha." "He is the night guard Memo." "He called the woman." "You will soon see that the roosters will start singing." "How could the Great Pasha be hanging around with her?" "It's difficult to be a government man." "Also difficult is to be my wife." "You have to wait for Wednesday." " You the shameless!" "Ye-yes, Pasha visits the island only on Wednesdays." "It's difficult to do it this Wednesday as well, Hürmüz." "I guess all vacations are cancelled." "Three prisoners escaped, the situation is very bad." "But my coat is getting old." "And Pasha is getting too stingy." "Oh the bastard Pasha..." "Shut up, someone can hear us." "I will inform Pasha about all this stuff." "Come on..." " See you later, bye." "My Hasan." " My Hürmüz." "The woman brings a bracelet." "She might have stolen it from the mansion." "And barber changes it." "Shares are taken up, you see?" "I am coming on Tuesday." "Like your mind." "I don't let anybody to swear me." "Don't fo-fo-fo-forget, my Hürmüz." "# My god, don't leave your servants alone. #" "# It's only you, who can stand all alone. #" "# It's very tough to survive without friends and spouses. #" "# It's only you, who can stand all alone. #" "# Wish, that one coming here be my lover. #" "# Wish he's holding a pomegranate in his hand. #" "# Wish two of us were in the same shirt, while its collar is narrow. #" "# The grape of the green vineyard, #" "# I look at the road, nobody's coming, nobody's going, #" "# Whom shall I say my word?" "#" "Why are you getting sad?" "You have everything you want." "I am getting bored Safinaz, getting bored." "You, why?" " Because of loneliness." "Hey my girl, your bedroom is full of men wouldn't more of it cause trouble?" "It doesn't matter if I cannot find the sultan of my heart." "You just talk." "How can we find the sultan for you?" "You think it is available for us?" "I did!" "The doctor!" "He is my sultan." "Doctor?" "Do you think he is fit for this?" "She doesn't have underwear, but looks for a wedding dress." "If doctor is mine, I wouldn't mind the others." "I'm sorry but you are not the one to forswear." "Why do you look so given up my sister?" "I love him Safinaz, what can I do..." "When and how you started loving him?" "He is well-educated, completely opposite to your ignorant army!" "You cannot cheat him by acting a role like the housemaid in Pasha's mansion." "Yet, would he want you?" "Come on, Rukiye has a baths party." "Let's go and dance." "Here he is!" " Who?" "Him..." "Come, come!" " I am scared, who?" "Oh, handsome man." " Yes..." "He is ringing the bell of cial's door." "Clal will take over my man!" "How can you call him as yours?" "Clal takes him." " Possible; beautiful girl..." "Door without an owner can be opened without a key." "What to do..." "What happened?" " Oh my head, I am dying." "None of the doctors can save me now, except my Hüsrev." "You painted all the colours, only the peanut green left, ha?" "I beg you, go and bring my doctor to me." " Impossible." "Please." "I am very sick." "Don't act the sick, at least to me." "OK, I am going." "Mummy, mummy..." "Help me doctor!" "Run, I am dying." " Shut up!" "Heart rate is high but no fever." "Could this be an occult fever?" "Occult?" "No occult fever in medicine." "Please check once more." " Check what?" "My pulse." " Door..." "One moment." "Come in Safinaz, welcome." "I am very much worried seeing the doctor gets inside your home..." "Let me see..." "Is something wrong with my Iclal?" "She faints occasionally, my neighbour." "She has a very fragile body." "Some quinine, some rest." "She will recover not later than next morning." "Don't worry." "Dear doctor, I would like to offer a cup of coffee, you get rest." "Thanks a lot." "I would better leave, maybe next time I would come by." "Kind of you." "Come anytime." "I will go and have ginger and cinnamon boiled it's good for all kinds of health problems." "Listen Safinaz, doctor comes across the patient who will recover." "Stop boiling ginger and have the mind of the doctor linked to my daughter." "You are a good guide." "A very good matchmaker, many couples are thankful to you." "My girl got sick just to see this doctor." "Go reach him." "It will be meritorious for you." "If it's her destiny." "If god wills." "Hmm." "Pulse fast, no fever." "Same things." "Interesting." "What did you say?" " Nothing my lady." "Very interesting, let me look at your eyes." "My eyes?" "Why?" "Eyes tell everything." "Don't look at me so close, I am embarrassed." "Please look up to the ceiling." "What happened?" " Open your mouth." "My mouth?" "But if my Father Hadji gets aware of what you do now, he kills me." "Then you please, describe me, what type of a pain you have." "Sure." "It starts from here..." "Goes down here, gets around here, goes down here walks around here, then turns down here, from here to there..." "OK." "Where is your husband?" "Sorry?" " Your husband I say, husband..." "My father does not even allow the matchmakers to see me." "I see." "Don't be shy." "I consider you as a patient, not as a woman." "You don't see me as a woman?" "Then what do I look like, if not a woman?" "No, I didn't mean this." "I mean you..." "Give me your hand please." "My god my god, please don't add this to my sins." "Or you open your back." " What?" "Your back." " Why?" "I will listen to the inside of your body." " Impossible!" "But I cannot examine you like this." "Ask your maid to help you." "OK I did." "I will." "I mean, will you open?" " Me?" "Open your collar." "This is your sin." "This is my sin." "Open." "My god, I beg you, let me come out of this safely." "Fever high, pulse high." "Interesting." "Breathe deeply." "Normal." "Open your mouth." "Your name?" "Hüsrev." "And I am Hürmüz." "Nice to meet you." "# I put fish on the plate, immersed in the butter, #" "# I attached a cloth to the pumpkin, all because of an idiot. #" "# Sun sets like a bowl, beater hits like a bunt, #" "# I flake off like salt because of you. #" "# Fire needs chimney, book needs teacher, #" "# I need a husband, and I need him tonight. #" "# Hive needs bee, rooster needs corn, I need a wife and I need her now. #" "# Fire needs chimney, rooster needs corn. #" "# I need a husband, and I need him tonight. #" "People!" "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Soldiers, idles, listen carefully..." "Bloody killer Rocket Ömer has escaped from the prison, goes around here." "Anybody seen him should immediately inform me." "We are late." " I want to dance." " Hürmüz!" " Ömer!" "What are you doing here on the street, at this time of the night?" "Crazy man." "Policemen has set up an ambush for you around the house." "I was trying to inform you." "You early melon, landed from the sky in a basket." "We planned to go out and inform you." "That's very well-timed, we came across you." "What?" "Police set up ambush?" " Yes." "And what did you say them while going out?" "Did you say you would go out and inform me?" "Hey come on, you, the rotten egg." "Do you think I am idiot?" "Our neighbour has a baths party, that was our excuse." "Who is there?" "God, return back to home, bitch!" "I am coming!" " Move!" "Hürmüz what are you doing here?" "You two, like sluts?" "Our neighbour has a baths party, we were on its way." "But how could we know that the killer..." " OK, OK!" "It was very hard to save our virginity!" "Mummy, who marries you should cry and attach blackthorn to his buttocks." "We laughed a lot." "Come on." "Look, one of the women you see over there is the mother of your doctor." "Don't be loose, make her be convinced in you." "Hüsrev's already taken." "I said such an "uh"." "I was laughing inside." "Could I miss him?" "I sent Safinaz afterwards and asked him." "Doctor has very much enjoyed you, this is what he said." "Oh my god, let us join as soon as possible..." "I will give the bread and you will give the onion anybody who is a killjoy, would never be in joy." "Girls, bring the henna here, come on." "Having all those beautiful girls around, it mustn't be very difficult to find a bride for Hüsrev." "Look at cial." "So naive..." "But I guess we have already finished the searching process." "Hüsrev has already fallen in love with somebody." " Really?" "She is the daughter of a very proper family." " Good!" "And she doesn't have a mother." " Very very good!" "I plan to ask for her father's approval." " OK, we'll find out." "She lives somewhere around here." "Hey sister, I liked you very much." " Me too." "Where were you so far?" "Why didn't we see each other before?" "I was in Lüleburgaz." " I see." "I came here together with Nuriye." "If we were living close to each other, I would always come and see you." "Doesn't matter, take her as well and come to me to spend the night." "Sorry but Nuriye's husband will not allow us." "And I have a blackguard husband too, he would be worried." "Husbands." "All of them should be destroyed." "Totally agree." "Wish he would die." "What's the matter girl?" "He got married to a second one and he spends all his money for her." "His fodder is too much for him, he neighs..." "But you will see how I will punish him." "How could he do this to a young lady like you?" "Where did he get that bitch?" "This is why I came to stanbul." "As soon as I see the slut, I will tear off her hair." "Come on, don't worry, if you visit me tomorrow, we will find her together." "She is supposed to come here tonight, I came here upon this information." "Shut up girl, there are too many important people around here." "Let's keep decent now, when you come tomorrow we will find that slut together." "Hey girl, God sent you to me." "I will lie down too." " OK, do..." "Safinaz!" "Where is that lady playing oud?" " Right now my lady, right now." "Hey girl, come and play your oud, everybody's waiting for you." "Yes." "Let's have fun." "Girls!" "Why do you sit down like fodder buffalos?" "Stand up and dance!" "Everybody hear me!" "Listen!" "As you know the song we will sing now is forbidden for men." "Only women can sing it." "It's women's secret, don't betray it." "# Love chain melts, love age comes, love... #" "# I say love, love, love, God gives me as I desire #" "# I say love, love, love, God gives me as I desire #" "# It's got cloudy, then will flash the lightning #" "# Women will go for watching on the roofs #" "# They say, tonight after the night-prayer, #" "# Husband will pour from the sky like a rain, from the sky like a rain #" "# Girls, please thank God..." " Thanks god!" "#" "# We were like a hot stove when we were alone. #" "# We were looking at the sky like we were in the desert. #" "# Guy, from the sky Man, from the sky, #" "# Fellow, from the sky, #" "# Husband, from the sky, will pour like rain. #" "# Husband will rain. #" "# From the sky husband will rain like cats and dogs. #" "# Thanks god." "Husband will rain." "# Open all breasts, ogle all eyes, #" "# Tell all words when right time comes. #" "# Go lie down to the beds and have fun girls. #" "# Thank god, thank god, thank god!" "#" "# Thank god, tonight after the night-prayer, #" "# From the sky guy, from the sky man, from the sky fellow, #" "# From the sky will rain husband... #" "# Husband will rain." "# From the sky husband will rain like cats and dogs. #" "Husband will rain. #" "# Husband will rain From the sky will rain husband... #" "# Husband will rain." "# From the sky, husband will rain like cats and dogs." "Husband will rain... #" "# From the sky, husband will rain like cats and dogs." "Husband will rain... #" "# From the sky, husband will rain like cats and dogs." "Husband will rain... #" "How many husbands you have my Hürmüz?" " Look at me, this is number?" "My god my god my god, I gave up." "Come on, stand up." "Stand up, stand up, stand up." " Safinaz?" "This is our end, we are finished." " Why?" "The mother of the doctor sent his housemaid a moment ago." " Then?" "They will come over to ask for your marriage." "What?" " I swear!" "My mummy, how can it be?" "Stop one moment." " Look at me, we should be very careful." "Hüsrev is the nephew of the judge." "I have never married by this style before." "This is so pleasing." " Are you nuts?" "Those women saw you last night..." "They already know that you are married..." "A lady playing oud and dancing but at the same time already married can be accepted as a bride?" "You should now be in sorrow, I guess." "I put the cat in the ba ba ba bag." "I put his head in the so so so soup." "How is life?" "You have the Pasha paste?" "How will you use it?" " It is applied to the body." "Something to apply externally." " No." "Hey barber, make it fly-sharp, polish my cheeks!" "Flies should slip and fall down." "Don't worry sir." "I gue-gue-guess there i- i-is a pa-pa-party around here?" "Yes, something like that." "Do you know a public-bath around here?" "Yes of course sir." "Be-be-behind the plane tree." "I would have seen it, because just next to that stands the mansion of my wife..." "Wha-wha-what?" " I say my wife Hürmüz!" "Name of my wi-wi-wife is also Hürmüz but..." "Sh-sh she..." "Don't touch!" "She's a housemaid in the ma-man-mansion." "In the mansion of Lady Hürmüz?" " No-no-no!" "Still touching!" "I see I see, your wife is a housemaid in somebody else's mansion." "Pa-pa-Pasha..." "Come on..." " Pa-pa-pasha's mansion." "Thanks my brother, you shaved very well." "Bu-but it's not over sir." "I liked your performance." "I am the wild boy of this area from now on." "And this is your tip." "Give me the hat." " But..." "I will be your customer from now on, I am the wild boy of the area." "I will come very often, I liked the way you shave." "Good bye." "Go go god ble bless you." "Look at that charming girl, did she move to this area recently?" "I came!" "I am Havva, we danced together in the baths party." "Yeah, I just recognized." "Come on." "Come on girl, I recognized you." "Welcome girl!" "You bring me luck!" " Why?" "What happened?" "I am getting married, what else?" "Sorry but, aren't you married already?" "Doesn't matter." "I will get divorced and get married to the new one." "Then how will we find the slut?" "I am very busy now." "Let's do it tomorrow, OK?" "But..." "I came here just for this reason." "But listen, you will be very comfortable here." "It's the huge Pasha's mansion." "Safinaz, please show her a room." "Hey..." "Where are you going?" "I have a little stuff to do." "You please meet the guests, don't let them return back." "You!" "Girl..." "My God..." "Sha-sha-sha..." " Yes, sha-sha!" "Shave?" "Go damned, you crazy." "Your haircut can never be finished." "Go away from here, go go!" "Don't do, don't..." "Go away!" "Shave, please shave." "Sha sha shave?" "OK." "Maniac shave, I am Hasan to tear off all your d d d..." "Damn you!" "Ladies, is there a barbershop around here, I came from Lüleburgaz..." "Hello, barber." "Have a nice working day!" "How are you?" "Yes sir, come on." "Hair, beard?" "Please shave all my face." " OK." "Human-being is like a bird, now I landed in Istanbul." "From whe-where?" " From Lüleburgaz." "Yor wi-wife vi-visiting fr-friends?" "No." "Shamed to say but, I have two wives." "One of them is here, the other one in Lüleburgaz." "Maybe you know the one living here..." "Yo-your wi-wife comes he-here for sha-shaving?" "What did you say, you the pipe-mouth?" "How could I know yo-your wife?" "You could, as I know all women in Lüleburgaz." "Furthermore, I also know the women here." "Bar-barbers do don't know sir." "She is from your neighbourhood, named Hürmüz." "Hü-hü-Hürmüz?" "There is a fountain over there, just at the right side of it lives my wife." "Oh..." " What is that?" "What?" "You are late sir." "What do you say?" "Your wife is gone, I say." "Pi pi pi..." "Pi pi pi..." " Pipe mouth?" "You called me pipe mouth?" "It's you who are pipe mouth." "You were not supposed to know my Hürmüz?" "You said so a moment ago?" "You said so." "It was you, now you said." "You said a mome..." " Mr. Hasan?" "Yes lady?" "Where is the mansion of the Hadji?" "Who is that?" "She has a daughter at marriage age." "They said it is nearby the fountain, close to this area." "Ha-Hadji's man-mansion close to the foun-fountain?" "Sorry I don't know." "We are trying to arrange a marriage with Hüsrev." "Daughter of a very neat family." "Everybody knows the man, they say." "But I..." "OK thank you." "Your welcome lady." "My god." "Hey barber, you were not supposed to know the women?" "How do you know them, they ask you to shave the scales of their fishes?" "How co co coarse..." "It was you who said a moment ago that you don't know Hürmüz?" "It was you, right?" " Listen sir." "Then how do you know those women?" "What a silly, liar man you are..." "What a rude..." "Stop!" "But you mi..." "Mis..." "Mis..." "It's you are who are miserable, cuckold." "Mis..." "Mis..." "Mis..." "Let me misplace you in my pants, then you will see what happens..." "I told you before, now this guy is swearing Hasan." "I am sure there is a conflict about money." "Look!" "Aliye is forty years old but she is still so charming..." "She is so coy." "I can take her, if god wills." " Lf God wills." "Only once I mean, even if we divorce next morning." "Nobody knows, if she is divorced or sends you off." "Oh my lady, welcome..." "So good, guide Safinaz is also here." "Of course I am." "Come in Lady Aliye." "It's just a small gift." " Thanks a lot, come in please." "You honoured us." "Any bans for us inside?" " No, relax." "Where is Father Hadji?" "He is praying, will come soon." "If God wills." "Open your eyes." "If you cannot manage this, you will be disgraced." "Why would I, don't worry Lady Rukiye." "Come in please, welcome." "Lady Aliye, take your seat please." "You too, sit down please." "Where is our girl?" "Her a-aunt has got sick." "In fact she was supposed to go together with Father Hadji but as soon as we are informed on your visit, he sent his daughter just to have a look." "Bad luck for us." "What if Father Hadji doesn't approve this marriage?" "I think Safinaz is keeping a secret." "No Lady Rukiye, of course not." "Rukiye's right." "It's not relevant to send the girl away from home and not to welcome to the guests coming for marriage offer." "Please ladies, wait for a while, I know what I'm doing." "I see this is not good, this is bad luck." "My Hüsrev will be very sad now." "What should we do, Rukiye, come on, let's go." "May I come in?" "You go out." "How are you, is everything OK?" "I am enchanted to see you ladies." "My bird, the release." "Praised be god." "Hard..." "My deceased father, he was such a hard man." "How did the subject change?" "Your father." "Oh yes, it is good that you reminded my father." "I learned everything by means of him, in a fully scientific way." "He used to play the violin in such a style that the bird in the cage fainted away because of singing and singing..." "The reason of your visit?" "I am Rukiye, the wife of Süloðlu and my friend is the mother of Dr. Hüsrev..." "We mean, we are here to ask for your approval for the marriage of your daughter with our son." "Our son has a bird?" "Bird?" " Bird..." "Business, I mean." "We don't have birds at home." "I need to ask something, does your husband have a bird?" "He passed away." "Very good..." "I mean, good that you still survive." "Birds, we were talking about." "Hey, Rüstem came over, Father Hadji." "Father Hadji?" "He is the brother of the Pasha, he lives in the island." "What a tough man he is." " I will see Hürmüz." "Stop, come with me, it's banned." "Come on..." "You the guide woman." "How does he know me, that you said directly Rüstem's come?" "Who serves Pasha in the mansion, who takes care of his wife what are the names of the husbands, he continuously wants to know all those things." "What a curious man." "I really liked Father Hadji." "He is a nice pleasant man." " Exactly!" "Tell him please, he can meet me whenever he wants." "Mestaaan!" "Rusty buttock, my son..." "What's your son doing?" "My son is doing too many things, too busy." "If he's too busy he claps naturally." "He is a medical doctor." "He is the doctor of the fireplace of Beyazýt bastion." "What medical?" "I don't let any medicine to touch my bird." "What is medicine?" "What?" "What?" "This means you do not approve this marriage?" "Of course I do!" "I agree, If god wills it will be very good." "I am very happy to hear this." "Amin Amin." "May God not shame them." "May God not shame them." "Also you, may god not shame..." "You and I, we should not be ashamed." "I say..." "I will ask my son to come and kiss your hands." "Yes, soon." "May you as well, kiss please..." "Yet, please come here very often." "Then we get more close, more familiar." "I can show you my bird." "How it goes out of the cage." "He departs and lands, he departs and lands..." "Safinaz, Safinaz!" "Women leaving, I will see them off." "You, wait for me here OK?" "What's this?" "That's a buttock." "Safinaz, ask Hürmüz to serve the coffee." "She returned back already?" "Birds told me, she has come, go and see if you don't believe me." "Raising a child is quite difficult, isn't it?" "When children fly away from home, heart gets confused." "I know how to bring back the ones who leave home." " How?" "I encage their mother..." "I mean the mother of the birds." "Then they come and go, come and go." "How?" "Is it good?" "I also play violin." "He is so sweet, I feel very warm for him." "Holding his cheeks..." "Why did you cover your face, my girl?" "Is it banned here?" "Her mouth is a bird's nest, eyes a nightingale celebrating the candlelight." "My Father Hadji says, it is a tradition in our family to cover the face when joining the marriage arrangement." "But your face should be seen by those people..." "In fact not to see is better." "Mistletoe is gradually set..." " What?" "My Father Hadji says two hearts are traps for each other." "He means it's already done." "It's already done." "Who else can interfere in?" "You are right, OK let's go." "Please come again." "Don't leave us alone in our cage inn our heart feels the freedom with you." "Our mind gets fresh." "May it bring good luck." " Lf God wills." "Please come again, thanks for coming Lady Aliye." "Good bye." "Thanks God." " Hey girl, it's done." "May it bring good luck." "What's that pleasant with this;" "having one more husband?" "No, having a husband." "Why don't you burn the furnace and heat some water?" "Hüsrev will come, I should adorn myself." "Of course." "Let me burn the brazier and cook coffee." "And I want to be in charge of the dinner this time." "Come on, let me show you the brazier." "I am busy in the kitchen." "Come." "Cebrail!" "I might need you again." "Please be available when I need, OK?" "Take it." "Thanks." "I also might need you." "How?" "I will be your father-in-law." "Now please go soon, if Father Hadji sees you here, stays for the night so you cannot leave him for one month." "Come on." " One month?" "Oh no, I will go then." "Could you please ask Hürmüz to cook "keflkek" for me tonight?" ""Keflkek", OK, I will ask, good bye." "Come on, you're great, good bye." "Hey Hasan, put me in order please." "But you're al-already sha-shaved sir." "But this is very important, if you correct my moustache God will bless you." "Of co-course, as you or-order." "What's the ma-matter doctor, I me-mean, what is so im-important?" "You know the Father Hadji living in the big mansion over there I will marry to his daughter Hürmüz." "I would have told it slowly if I knew you would be so much happy..." "Hü-Hürmüz?" " Yes, Hürmüz." "You know her?" "What a girl, isn't she?" "Don't tell me you don't like her?" "He-here so ma-many Hü-hür..." " Hürmüz!" "...live here." " Many Hürmüz around here?" "My wi-wife al-also ca-called Hürmüz." " Hürmüz?" "What a coincidence." "But, as you to-told, the man-mansion..." " I need to go to the mansion soon." "Thanks, have a good working day." "Sheep comes laying down to the mud..." "You have no money, why do you walk..." "Hanging around..." "Come on sir, welcome." "Have a nice evening." "I came here upon the invitation of the Father Hadji." "Good." " Welcome..." "Nice to be here my lady." "Father Hadji had to go to the island suddenly." "So he apologizes from you." "That's not a problem." "He said, "There is no problem in your marriage, yet you can consider this as an order"." "Of course." "What can we offer you before the dinner?" "We have coffee, we have syrup." "And also two slices of baklava." "Baklava?" " Yes sir." "Here sir." "That's so kind of you." "I will take this one." "What I like most is cozy gathering." "Hürmüz, open the door." "I have nothing to do with the earthly possessions, what I want is the beautiful ladies." "Hürmüz!" " Sir." "Who is this guy, what does he want?" "You wouldn't like to know." "Open the door!" " This terrible man is the adopted child of Father Hadji." "Father Hadji tried to raise him as a religious guy but he could not." "Then he disinherited him." "Now he knows that Father Hadji has come here this is why he acts so strange." "Open the door!" "Hürmüz." "What will happen now?" "He will leave as soon as he understands that Hadji's not here." "If you want I can go and inform the firemen." "They like me a lot, as I'm their doctor." "They are strong men, they can come and extinguish him, if you want." "Only heroes who communicate by their fists can beat bully men." "Thank god that you are here." "This man will screw everything up." "I am going soon my lady, going soon." "Hürmüz!" "Strange." "Why does this man call you instead of Father Hadji?" "Yes." "Are you sure you want to know?" "He wants me." "He will dishonour me." "You see..." " Here is the coffee!" "Now it is a must to bring this man into line." "I am going immediately." "Going immediately." " Take him out from the side door." "I would prefer not to go out from the front door." "Sure, from the side door, Mr. Hüsrev, please." "Open the door!" "Hürmüz." "How nice to see you here!" "You are my soul..." "Why don't you open the door, damned woman?" "You think I open the door for every bully yelling out of the house?" "I will eat you." " Stop!" "You're drunk." " A little bit." "I didn't like this, you are a killjoy." "I prepared the raki table for you, but you came here as already drunk!" "Come on walk this way, come on..." "Walk..." " I will eat you tonight!" "All beautiful ladies should be mine." " Come on, walk!" "God, look at the table." "Did you prepare all of this food for me?" " Stop!" "Will you use those dirty hands for eating?" "Walk directly to the bathroom, walk!" "What's wrong with my hands?" "Very dirty." "You are worse than the prison Hürmüz." "I am waiting for you." " My God!" "Hürmüz..." "Are you in the restroom, open the door." "Is it you Rüstem, what happened?" "It's me of course." "You didn't like it?" "Only the housemaids of the vagabonds' inn enjoy you." " Why?" "You popped in our mansion and ordered me to cook "keflkek"." "I am not a housemaid." "And here's not a vagabond's inn." "If you want "keflkek", please ask the chefs of the mansion." "But couldn't I ask my wife to cook "keflkek"?" "Please speak more politely." "What is this, I don't understand a single word." "Because this is not your day." "But I came all the way from Lüleburgaz." " Please do not shout." "I cannot adapt your days all the time." "Good good..." " I am leaving." "But you cannot come in." "Disaster disaster." "Why?" "What is that?" "Can you keep a secret?" "My Hürmüz, I can keep everything if yo..." "Ah..." "My older brother is upstairs." " Yes?" "He is a thorny guy." "Yes?" "Thorny." " OK." "Bad." " OK." "Bad." " Yes." "Terrible." " OK." "Why should I be afraid of him, he's my brother in law?" "Hürmüz, where can I go at this time of the day?" "I'm your dog..." "Catch me Hürmüz, I am hiding upstairs, will you be able to find me here?" "I am counting up to three." "Three..." "Hürmüz!" "I am coming." "Follow my odour." "Hey, you have already cooked "keflkek"..." "What a nice thing to have a wife." "Hürmüz, where is the soap, I couldn't see." "Look at the top of the jar, or it might be fallen down to the floor." "Hürmüz?" "How strange your brother speaks, like thunders coming down." "You don't listen to me, he is a bully killer, just escaped from the prison." "And I don't even want to know what he will do when he sees you here." "Call this maniac, I want to talk to him." "No no no, I am sure my brother will not be nice to you." "He is my brother-in-law, why he would treat me badly?" "He always finds an excuse for raising a conflict." "He can't." "Even if he can, I will come over it." "You think I cannot?" "I'm your cat..." " I'm your dog..." "Come on, let me hide you." " What?" "I am not going anywhere, anywhere." "Then have a glass of raki." "No I wouldn't drink, you know I like raki too much but..." "If it's you asking me, I can drink litres of it..." "They swapped raki to the cat's ass, she asked where that wolf is..." "What?" "Raký is very nice." "Drinking raki makes me feel like you smack my head with wood." "I lose myself." "Once I couldn't go out of bed for three-five days." "Yes, it was three-five days." "What I mean by wood was something like that." "Yes." "I came from Lüleburgaz." "Let me rub it once..." "What's going on?" "Haven't you get washed?" "I know it stinks but there was no water for six months in the jail." "You will drive me crazy with all this cleaning stuff you push since I came." "I washed my hands, neck, throat thoroughly, what else do you need?" "But look, how do you think you can do this, that, this, those with your dirty body?" "You cannot even smell me." "Go walk to the bathroom and don't shout every second..." "I am getting mad..." "And I know how to put you in order!" "Finished..." "Such a special lady." "Thanks." "Go walk to the bathroom, go." "Hürmüz?" " What?" "I will eat you." "OK you will, but now go." "You made me a water bird." "My husband." "Is it you?" "So many men around!" "Guys raining from the sky..." "Only my damned one is not here." "Is there a man in the closet as well?" "This is why I told you, I was asking you to move him down." "Hü hü Hürmüz!" " I'm going mad, who is this one?" "He's faltering, so that's my barber." "How many husbands you have?" "May I come in?" "Hürmüz?" " My Hasan is here!" "Come in, come in." "Hasan!" "Oh my clever Hasan has come." "Come on come on." "Soon ex-ex-ex..." "I will excite you, I will do it inside, come in." "Explain!" "Where are you going at this time of the night?" " I'm going home." "What?" "Where?" " What happened this time?" "Don't go there." " Why?" "Don't drive me crazy..." "Hürmüz!" "Who is this, explain Hürmüz!" " Come sit down." "This is the catty son of the Pasha." "He made his father sick." "Now he is in the bathroom, enjoying to clean up himself." "I have a question to you Hürmüz." " Ask." "How ma-many Hürmüz li-live in this ma-mansion?" "Explain." "Look, the wife of the son-in-law of Pasha, this is the first." "Then, the daughter of Father Hadji, this is number two." "And myself." "How many?" " Three." "We are really a lot." "I am confused Hürmüz." "Who is this?" "It's me, Hýzýr, captain of the Sea Dragon." "Welcome." "Hello, guide woman." "And this is the groom." " Where is my Hürmüz?" "I know this man, he came to my shop." "I came to eat her." "Slow down." "How can you do something like that, in a house full of relatives of Hürmüz..." "Relatives?" " Yes." "I want to meet them." "Stop, it's banned here." "Come on." "Tell them that it's not a stranger, it's their brother-in-law." "OK OK, I will." "You please wait here in the kitchen." "Come on, come." "Have some walnuts, over there." "OK bye, I will come on Tuesday, you see the situation at home." "No problem my Hürmüz." " OK, bye..." "Senna in the cellar." " What?" "I say, there is senna in the cellar." " Senna in the cellar?" "What to do with cenna?" "Put it in the raki?" "OK." "Sweeties are nice to eat but it gives you bitter floating afterwards." "Gee..." "My husband, my husband, glad you came." "Hürmüz!" "Bring me a towel!" " Who is this?" "That's my brother." "Brother?" "That's good, let's meet." "It is good to have people around." "And this is my sister-in-law." " Sister-in-law?" "Hello lady." " Shh..." "Introduce me to your brother then." "But if he sees us now..." "That means party Hürmüz, party!" "Sit down." "This is the family felicity." "This is a very special type of raki, my brother brought." "I love lion's milk." "Don't add water." "Don't add water I said!" "Take it." " Oh..." "My husband the lion, takes only one sip of lion's milk?" "A hero can best be known by his style of drinking raki." "It's a joke, joke." "Who do you think I am?" "Hürmüz come." "Good for you." "What happened?" " The husband upstairs is asking for a towel." "Take from the bedroom and give him." " OK." "How many husbands you have?" "Don't worry, they are the old accounts, I will close all of them." "What happened?" "Something happened to me." "You just arrived, maybe it's due to the voyage." "I need to go to the restroom." " Come, come." "Stairs..." "My God." "Who smacked my head, Hürmüz?" "My brother did, as you didn't listen to me." "Why did he?" "We were drinking Raký here, this is the last thing I remember." "Isn't he my brother-in-law?" "What type of a brother he is?" "How?" "Look..." "Oh, I am excited." "What a strange man you are..." "I will eat you." "You the prison bear, my brother's here, now in the toilet, will come soon." "And my sister-in-law is also inside, go get dressed, wait for the night." "Really?" " Yes..." "I have been dreaming of this moment for 6 months, god damned!" "After the cleaning up, it's her brother and now sister-in-law." " Come on my lion." "What is this?" "My head, he smacked so badly." "I will bring him to account." "Hey my brother, thanks god for coming together, where are you?" "I am looking for you." "Glad to be here..." "What a silly man you are, why do you smack my head?" "Hey what are you talking about, I'm driving mad..." "Do you think I don't react?" "I will kill you as well." "What is this?" "What's that, in your hand?" "A weapon?" "That's a gun." " Gun?" "Look at me..." "You the bloke, get out of here before things go wild." "You will pay for this." "Gee..." "You the coward..." "This is how I terrify others..." "You will pay for this." "Hürmüz!" "Avva come on." "Avva?" "Rüstem?" "Havva..." "What are you doing here?" "What is it here?" " What are you, doing here?" "I am here for a lady who wants her cotton to be fluffed." "This is my husband." "But that's my husband as well." " What?" "How could he do something like that to a woman like you?" "How could he do something like that to a woman like you too?" "God damned." "Be you divorced, be you divorced!" "Lie down there, you the dog." "You will see how I will turn you into a cuckold with shining horns!" "But the brother-in-law is still in the toilet, whatever meal you served him..." "Stinger, anise soup..." "Come on here, sit down." "But it was too much for him, now he misunderstands everything." "He thought I'm his mother, then I got a little bit concerned." "He can't recognize even his father." "Tell me, where is your husband?" "I sent him off already, don't worry, look, who is coming." "Oh my brother, I am happy we met." " Come on." "Thanks god we met." " Thanks god." "Welcome, sit down." "How are you?" "Are you OK?" "Thank god, I am OK, living around." "You know, this is life." "This world, god damned world..." "Damn it, damn it." " Damn it, damn it, come on." "Oh..." "Do you know me?" "Of course I do." "Who am I?" " For sure I know." "Who am I?" " You ask me who I am." "You're the brother of my wife." "Bravo, excellent!" "Some calls it as the mansion of the Hadji while some others call Pasha's..." "I have a question." "Whose mansion is this, Pasha's or Hadji's?" "This mansion belongs to Sultan Hürmüz." "You can consider as mine as well, since I am the husband of Sultan Hürmüz." "What?" "Hü-hü-Hürmüz?" "Get lost you the clown, you clog a very important government mission here." "Look, it's a lot of Hürmüz here." " Two?" "Three." "Daughter, daughter-in-law and housemaid of Pasha..." "Which one is yours?" "Not the daughter or the daughter-in-law." "Housemaid then." "Ho ho housemaid?" "Te-tell me, a-a-re the e-e-eyes of Hürmüz gr-gr-green?" "Yes." "She is so-somewhat ta-taller than av-av-average?" " Yes." "Talks like ths ths ths, a si-si-silly girl?" "No, she speaks like a poetry but I don't understand anything." "Thank god." "I tho-tho-thought..." " Me too, me too." "Mine has nothing to do with poetry." "She perceives poetry as a prayer but to be honest she plays oud very well." "But, this is correct." "What?" "Whole night we spent in the toilet, right?" "I already took off my panty..." "I was able to complete once, but look, this is a secret between us." " OK." "I have to go again." "Mummy..." "Oh my mummy." " What's going on?" "I did it." "Oh." "What's going on?" "Let me have a look from back-side." "Me me me too." "Hü hü Hürmüz!" "Hürmüz!" "Hürmüz!" "I sus sus suspect." "Three Hürmüz in a home is not possible." "Hürmüz should come here immediately." " OK." "Hello lady, how are you?" "I hope you are fine, that's so kind of you, how is the gentleman doing?" "It's fire, fire in the mansion." "Help, it's fire in the mansion." "Help." "# Oh cute and tiny, her skin fragrant # Where are you all, damned ladies?" "# Come on let's smell each other, I will not let you to fade away. #" "# Oh cute and tiny, her skin such fragrant #" "# Come on let's smell each other, I will not let you to fade away. #" "# It's fire, fire, I am burning #" "# Help me friends, I am inflamed. #" "# It's fire, fire, I am burning #" "# Help me friends, I am inflamed. #" "Thanks my hero, could you please give your name, I need to know who saved me." "Adem." " Really?" "And I am Havva." "Look at you." "Seven heroes to get famous all around the world." "We are honoured..." "Me too, me too." "I need to tell you something." "Your situation solved." "Turkish Classical Music in German." "See how he improved his Turkish." "They will sort him out soon." "Stop it." "You mean, all of you make a complaint against this lady, right?" "Ye ye yes, ju-ju-ju..." "I swear we complain father judge." "OK OK, Mr. Hasan, come to the front." "Tell us the situation." "Ho ho honourable judge." "Th th this la la lady che che..." "Cherished you?" "What?" "What is it, what?" "She cheated me." "Why?" "My husband..." "God." "She said I don't have a husband." "Stop Hasan, I am bored..." "Go back." "But..." " Hasan, go back." "Go back!" "You come, come." "Together?" "Tell me what is the situation." "Regards, my father judge." "I experienced so many difficulties with this lady, my father judge." "Look at you." "Speak more politely." "What does this mean, my father etc, be more careful." "I present my full respect." "My uncle judge, this lady..." ""My uncle judge", what is this, speak in line with law terminology!" "You are supposed to say, honourable judge..." "I kiss your hands." " Good!" "Hey codger, do you know this woman, I swear..." "Go back, how can you speak like this, codger etc..." "You come." "Now my little Judgie, this woman..." "What is this "little judgie", do I call you "little mannie"?" ""Mannie" mouth." "You have to speak in line with the rules, saying honourable judge." "My honourable little judgie..." "Not "little judgie", god damn you, honourable judge!" "I don't understand anything from what you say." " Go back, go back." "Memo, what is this?" "Come on, come." "But it is me who married with her first." "Don't talk, don't." "Tell me my son, what is the situation?" "This lady has married to all of us at the same time." "You the coarse infidels!" "According to the Islamic law, this is prostitution; is it possible?" "This woman told all of us that she didn't have a husband." "I was not aware, I swear, unaware!" "But will get craz..." "Lady, explain the situation..." "What is this?" "It will be much convenient for me if they go out and two of us can talk..." "Go out." "I have full confidence in Ottoman justice." "God!" "God." "Tell!" "May I take off my veil, it is too hot here." "Sure." "Relax." "All those damned men, after my husband's death, wanted to have me they all have an eye to own the mansion." "Of course, I inherited somewhat money from my husband." "They came home and started to threaten me." "God." " And they bruised me." "Being exposed to this cruelty, I tried to find a way to inform you, my honor." "I am a lonely woman, how can I manage all those men, right?" " Yes." "Each was saying that he is my husband, I was just confirming." "It's so good that I could finally see you, thanks god." "Don't get sad, my child." "Women get too weak, my sir." "Sorry." "Do those two women witness for you?" "Sure they do." "They've also beaten those women, not only me." "Really?" " Yes." "How did they beat?" "Could you uncover and show me?" "Since this is a court..." "We witness sir, they've also beaten us very badly." "Uncover and relax." "Take off take off." "They've beaten us so badly, all parts of our body." "Which parts, which parts?" "Here here." "Like this." "Mostly where?" "Give Leyla the money, we won't be born again." "You damned men, aren't you ashamed?" "Based on the islamic law rules, this trial is ineffective." "That's all, that's all." "Father judge!" "I thought you were a wise man." "But such a dissolute bloke you are." "You the coarse..." "Go out, get lost!" "Bu bu but I..." "Go out of here!" "My my my..." " Dissolute guy!" "While you are responsible for establishing the public order you molest the widows, right?" "Everybody counts on you for their honour and virginity." "Tell her to be divorced, now!" " Be you divorced!" "And now go away!" "Go." "OK." "And you..." " Yes sir." "Last night you already asked this lady to be divorced, in front of this woman." "I didn't say something like that." " He said, my sir." "See?" "Go out, go out!" "It cannot go on like this, I will discuss it with the wise men." "Are you threatening me?" "No sir." " You the damned cucko..." "My god, forgive me." "And you, we thought you were a strong, tough man..." "Tell her to be divorced immediately!" "I will definitely not tell my father judge, I will not..." "I will not say either;" "let's see what you can do." "What does it mean what I could do?" " I will carve her..." "And I will have you hung!" "If you hang me, my cousin will chop you to bits." "Then another judge comes and he hangs your cousin." "No problem, my other cousin will carve you in turn." "Then the law will sentence your other cousin to be hung." "Damn that man called law..." "Don't do this to us, codger." "Sir, those two are lying." "Because they were the slaves of my Pasha." "If you want you can see the stamps at their body." "Don't do." " Here's a court, take off your pants." "God." "She is the one to seal us father judge, I swear you." "How can you consider yourself as a bully?" "Can such a delicate, tiny woman beat a bear like you and stamp your body?" "Those men even cannot declare any divorce state, trial has ended." "Lady Hürmüz is free." " Thank God!" "Go out, go out!" "You rude blokes!" "Thank you sir." "Thank you." "Come on lady Hürmüz, come on please." "You, such a young and beautiful lady needs protection, right?" " Yes sir." "Why wouldn't such a wise man with superior authority be your husband?" "Right?" " Yes sir." "Of course..." "Hürmüz, if you want I can marry you." "But sir, we need two witnesses for getting married, right?" "Don't say so my child." "Here is one of the witnesses." " My God!" "You have a visitor Judge!" "Oh my great God, am I your one of best servants?" "And here is the second witness." "But how could we?" "We could do it very smoothly." "But..." " God!" "My esteemed uncle, I am here for your approval." "You honoured me my child." "On your and the bailiff's witnesses as well as with God's permission I accept this lady as my wife." "The book also declares it like this, right?" "May it bring bad..." "Good luck..." "Once upon a time in Istanbul, a lady with a velvet voice, a crystal breath singing and dancing, called Hürmüz, used to live." "When she did her first marriage with Dr. Hüsrev her mother-in-law was also a bride and her father-in-law was also her father Hadji." "The man I call as Father Hadji was such an extraordinary and wonder-producing saint, riding on the birds." "You are trying to turn this simple story into a legend." "May god forgive you." "So called Father Hadji had two beautiful daughters, he approved the marriage of one of them with the doctor Hüsrev." "Second daughter Havva is too young already, but will soon get married to Adem, if God wills." "Hey girl, when have you become a Pasha's daughter?" "How could you forget the days you chased Rüstem off?" "What number husband will he be now?" "Here is my sister, ask her." "The witness of the blind is cross-eyed; all of those are..." "Why don't you believe in this fairy tale while you believe in all others I tell?" "Hey sister, is this circumcised boy yours?" "He has not become a man yet." "Come on wait, nothing's ended yet." "Everything starts just now." "First we need to find seven husbands to get married to." "May god give me three husbands..." " If God wills!" "The day will come that, for any lady who opens her heart sincerely plenty of husbands will rain down from the sky." "If God wills!" "Come on and make all the brides dance..." "Hürmüz!" "Come on, you have a new candidate for marriage!" " Aaaa?" "I swear you, the head clerk of the court has seen you and liked very much." "What do you think?" "Is this the right time, during my wedding ceremony?" "Sorry." "Thank you." "Are you OK?" "Safinaz, we will think about it tomorrow." " OK." "# My god, don't leave your slaves alone, #" "# It's only you who can stand all alone. #" "# Don't mind whether beautiful or ugly, #" "# And grant a proper husband for each of us. #" "# I saw homes with a groom, spanned like a cross-bow. #" "# I saw homes without a groom, looking like a dried creek. #" "# To the ones who have missed it for long, #" "# To the ones who got widow very young, whose roses faded away, #" "# Give, give, give!" "#" "# To the birds flying in the sky, #" "# To the ones got older, to the ones who are desperate, #" "# Give, give, give!" "#" "# Oh my god, I need three..." "# Three is not enough, five..." "# Five is not enough, seven..." "# Give, give, give, give... #" "# Give me my god, GIVE!" "#"