"Miss Jane Marple, gentlemen." "My dear, Miss Marple." "How do you do, Bishop?" "Now, this is your chair." "Thank you." "I am indeed honored." " Cecil Ffolly-Hardwicke." " How do you do?" " Sir Geoffrey Bucknose." " How do you do?" " Lord Rudkin." " How do you do?" "Now, my fellow trustees our annual meeting tonight is at once a sad and a joyous occasion." "Sad because of the recent demise of Rear Admiral Sir Hubert Marple." "Joyous because in his stead we welcome his niece and granddaughter of our founder, Admiral of the Fleet Sir Bertram Marple." "Hear, hear." "Now, Bishop, if I may..." "Please, please, if you allow me a moment..." "In Sir Bertram"s own words:" """The objective of this trust is to put backbone into young jellyfish. """ "Hence his purchase of that famous, old wooden wall of England the Battledore which has since served as a training ship for young hooligans who might otherwise have gone to the devil." "Bishop, we all know this but I have something of the utmost importance to say." "And so have I." "Madam, on this night your heart must be overflowing with pride at the achievements of your illustrious family." "I can only say..." "And from the bottom of my heart, welcome." " Oh, Bishop." " Amen." " Now..." " Please, please, please." "Bishop, my fellow trustees I"m deeply moved with the warmth of your welcome." "My heart is indeed filled with pride." "Forgive me." "Smoke does so get in one"s eyes." "That"s better." "Bishop, fellow trustees, I am honored to be one of you." "Would you mind taking your finger out of my snuffbox, madam." "Oh, I beg your pardon." "How dreadful of me." "As I was about to say with our steady hands at the helm I am confident that the good ship Battledore will continue to buffet her way through storm and tempest providing a safe haven for those who are in peril on the sea of life." " Hear, hear." " Thank you." "Gentlemen and lady, to the first item on our agenda." "Hang the first item on the agenda." "I insist on speaking." "Look here, whatever it is, why can"t you raise it under any other business?" "There won"t be any other business unless what I have to say is heard now and acted upon." "Well, that"s most irregular, but very well." "Ffolly." "Ffolly." "I suppose he was exciting himself about something." "Well, yes, Dr. Crump." "He did seem to be a little..." "Yes, thought so." "Well, there we are." "The spirit was willing, but the heart was not." "I warned him." "Must get moving." "Must get moving." "L"II deal with the police." "They"re just across the road." "Good night." "Good night." "Brisk young fellow there, eh?" "Poor Ffolly." "I wonder what he was going to say?" "He just made a surprise visit to the Battledore." "Got back this very day, as a matter of fact." "I shouldn"t wonder if he was gonna create a fuss over the reception he got." "The captain, you know, does not encourage visitors." "What a beautiful way to be taken, unawares." " Miss Pringle." " Oh, I say, not her too." "She has merely fainted." "I have some smelling salts in my bag." "Miss Marple, quickly if you please." "Thank you very much." "Curious." "Empty." "Well, that"s it, inspector." "L"II give you the death certificate for the coroner in the morning." "Thank you, doctor." "L"m sorry about the old boy." "Oh, no need to be." "Long life, money, four wives, quick death." "What more can you want?" "Well, I must get moving actually." "L"ve got a baby waiting." "Good night." "Good night." "Brisk sort of chap, isn"t he?" "Look." "Bacon." "Is it absolutely necessary for you to creep about like this?" "Miss Marple, it"s because I saw you creeping about that I am creeping about." "Yes." "But you don"t know what occurred up there." "It so happens I do." "What I don"t know is why you"re climbing out of windows and down fire escapes." "Yes, well, that was because the poor man"s snuff has been stolen." " Snuff?" " Not the snuffbox, mind you..." "Though that of course is quite valuable." " Just the snuff." "Snuff?" "Stolen?" " Quite." "By an intruder." " Miss Marple, what on earth...?" "There must have been someone lurking outside that window." "You mean, a burglar?" "What interest could our proceedings have for the common burglar?" "In any case what kind of a burglar is it who steals snuff?" "I realize you must have had rather a severe shock tonight." "Now you come with me and Sergeant Bacon here will see you home in my car." "A good night"s sleep and tomorrow you"II be your old self again." " Are you implying that I am unhinged?" " No, of course not." "Then what are you implying, pray?" "Well, just that you"re temporarily not yourself." "Chief inspector, I am always myself." " Did you get it, Mr. Stringer?" " Yes." " Thank you." " The chemist did question sulfuric acid but when he knew it was for you..." "Yes, yes, thank you." "Now I think we can proceed." "I must confess, Miss Marple, I"m at a loss to know what all this is about." "If the doctor said the poor man died of a heart attack..." " But he did." " Then what...?" " Oh, patience, Jim." "Patience." " What is that?" "A small quantity of Ffolly-Hardwicke"s snuff." "But I thought it was all stolen." "Due to a slight contretemps earlier in the evening, I spilled some." "Fortunately our thief overlooked it." "Oh, I see." "Now handkerchief to mouth for my first experiment, Mr. Stringer." " All clear." "Not cyanide." " Cyanide?" "First a little of the solution." "Then we add the catalyst." "A few drops only." "Now we wait a moment." "Not African boxwood." "Gonioma kamassi." "The sawdust contains an alkaloid that resembles curare." "Pity." "I had hopes of that." "Nil desperandum as my old science mistress used to say." "We try and try again." "Now, if this changes color..." " So that"s what it was." " What?" " Strychnine." " In his...?" "He was done away with through his nose." "Good heavens." "Very original." "Very ingenious." "Or perhaps not so." "Oh, propel me please, Jim." "Well, here we are." "The Doom Box by J. Plantaganet Corby." "Here it is." "Now listen." """"And so, me lad," declared Sefton Harricott:" ""Jacob Rushton did indeed suffer a heart attack but it was induced by a noxious substance in his snuff." """ "Oh, Miss Marple, I"m beginning to..." "Wait. """The murderer," continued Harricott, "made one error." "He failed to remove the incriminating residue from the snuffbox." """ "A mistake our murderer no doubt imagines he has not made." "But why should anyone want to do such a thing?" "That, Mr. Stringer, is the question." "Poor Mr. Ffolly-Hardwicke had just returned from our ship." "He had something important to say." "He never said it." "I wonder..." "Yes, that"s where the motive must lie." "Mr. Stringer, there is something going on aboard the Battledore." "Oh, goodness." "There she is." "Magnificent." "A real bit of history." "Pity anything so beautiful should hold the answer to something as sordid as murder." "Here comes the longboat." "Well on time." "Two minutes to two bells in the dogwatch." "Is this wise, Miss Marple?" "Shouldn"t we at least have tried to convince the chief inspector?" "Policemen, Mr. Stringer, particularly our good friend Chief Inspector Craddock are only convinced by proven fact." "Yes, but once you"re out there on the water, it"II be so easy." "A marlinespike in the dark, your body rolling in the scuppers a splash carried out on the ebb tide." "My dear Jim, calm yourself." "L"m sorry, but I must insist on pointing out the dangers." "Are you going to help me or are you not?" "Well, yes, of course." "Thank you." " Now, you have your signal lamp?" " Yes, yes." "Be sure to book a room overlooking the estuary." " I suggest at that hotel." " Yes." " You understand?" " Oh, yes." "Remember, keep lookout at 11:00 tonight." "I shall pass on to you any evidence I"ve uncovered so that if anything untoward does happen before morning..." "Oh, Miss Marple." " You"II be empowered to pursue the matter on your own." "That"s all then, I think." "I shall see you in the morning as arranged." "Unless, of course, I find it necessary to contrive a longer stay on board." "But if the captain"s all the bishop says he is I don"t fancy I shall be very welcome." "Miss Marple, I absolutely forbid you to..." "Damn the torpedoes." "Full speed ahead, Mr. Stringer." "Thank you, laddie." "Can I help you with your bag, sir?" "Oh, no." "No, thank you." " May I?" " Oh, certainly, ma"am." "Push off forward." "Give way together, lads." "Look at it." "Will you look at it?" "Reefer jacket, brass buttons, tricorn hat." "Who does she think she is?" "Neptune"s mother?" "All right, Connington, pipe." " Pipe." " Pipe." " Pipe." " Pipe." "De Courcy Rhumstone, ma"am." " Marple, captain." " Welcome aboard Battledore." " Thank you." " May I introduce you?" "By all means." " Commander Breeze-Connington." " How do you do?" "Organization and Accounts." " Lieutenant Commander Dimchurch." " How do you do?" "Navigation and Seamanship." " Lieutenant Compton, ma"am." " How do you do?" "Discipline and Character Building." " Sub Lieutenant Humbert, madam." " How do you do?" "Physical Training." "And?" "We find that"s quite enough, ma"am." " Assistant Matron Shirley Boston, ma"am." " How do you do?" " Yes, and last but not least." " Matron 1 st Class Fanbraid." " How do you do?" "First class?" " Yes, yes, first class." "Well, that went smoothly." "Now, ma"am, may I on behalf of the rest of the crew offer or sincere condolences on the loss of your fellow trustee." "Thank you very much, captain." "I don"t wanna waste your time, so here"s my program." "Just a minute." "Humbert!" " Sir." " Come here." "All right, thank you." "Seventeen thirty to 1830, that"s hours." "Naturally." "There"s a tour of instructional classes, 15 minutes for a wash and brush up then 1845 to 1945, drinks and cold collation in the wardroom." "Twenty hundred to 2100, sea chanteys by port watch of hands." "Twenty-one thirty-five, I personally see you aboard the last bus to Milchester." " I really thought that..." " Excuse me." "Miller." " Sir." " What are you doing with that?" " Carrying it, sir." " It"s mine, captain." " Yours?" " Yes." "My sea bag, you know." "Sea bag?" "But you"re only staying a few hours, aren"t you?" "Well, I do feel it my duty, captain, as a new trustee to be some little time with you." "I had hoped to spend the night on board." "Spend the night?" "Spend the night?" "Oh, I"m terribly sorry, that"s entirely out of the question." "Apart from anything else there"s no suitable quarters." "L"m terribly sorry." "Splendid quarters, captain." "So kind of you to give them up." "Not at all." "Not at all." "Yes, this"II do splendidly, I think." "Delightful view." "Delightful view, captain." "Yes, I"m gonna miss it." "Snuff." "Yes, well, I think that"s about all then, madam." "A handsome blade, captain." " Yes, it is, isn"t it?" " Yes." "That was awarded to my great-grandfather after the Battle of Trafalgar." " Really?" " Yes, it was." "L"ve never been parted with it in my life." "I see." "Good." "Yes, well, I"II see you on the poop in about 10 minutes then." "Yes." " Captain." " Yes, madam?" "Haven"t you forgotten something?" " Forgotten something?" "I don"t think so." " Surely you want your snuff." "Oh, yes." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." " Allow me." " All right, thank you." "I wonder if you"d mind..." " Thank you." " All right?" "Thanks." "No, you can have that on me." "In memory of Trafalgar." " How very kind of you." " Thank you." "Oh, heavens." "I hope I"m not giving too much trouble." "No, of course not, madam." "After all, it is for only one night." "Isn"t it." "What a waste." "What a diabolical waste." "Come on, everyone." "Cheer up." "After all, it"s only for one night." "The captain and his visitor will be here any moment." "For heaven"s sake let"s try to create a good impression." "But, sir, Eric and I were going to the Ellington"s party." "Bingley Castle." "The party of the year." "Never mind, darling, there"s always another night." "And tomorrow night I"II be free." "If you want to cause trouble, Compton, now isn"t the time." "Darling, please." "I do agree, muscles." "I do so agree." "Compton." "Stop this, you two." "Well..." "Miss Marple"s presence here at least ensures that we shall eat hearty tonight." " Hey, Dimchurch?" " What?" "Oh, yes." "Yes." " Are you all right, old chap?" " Yes, yes, fine." "She doesn"t worry you that much, does she?" "No, no, it"s just a nuisance." "Oh, never mind, old son." "We just have to keep the cupboard doors closed a little longer." "Stop the skeletons rattling and all that." " Skeletons?" " Skeletons?" "Skeletons." "How interesting." "Bravo." "Bravo." "Encore." "Encore." "Why don"t you shut up." " That"s all." "That"s all." " Thank you, commander." "I found that most stirring." "Most stirring, indeed." " Really?" " Well, all these young things singing." "The lads of the starboard watch stay better together on the whole but it"s their night for shore leave." "Perhaps another program can be arranged." " As to that, Miss Marple..." " Yes, yes, yes." "It can, it can." "Next year." "Oh, thank you." "Not at all." "I take it you"re satisfied with what you"ve seen?" "I must say, captain, everything seems to be shipshape and Bristol fashion." "L"m glad to hear you say it." "Mind you, I expected no less." "It"s been a long day." "How about a nightcap before you turn in?" " Very good idea." " Good." "Right." "Dismiss." " Dismiss." " Dismiss." "Dismiss." "Well, we"ve enjoyed your visit tremendously, madam." " It"s been a great fillip to morale." " Thank you, captain." " But there is one thing that disturbs me." " What"s that?" "I can"t for the life of me think what it was so upset Ffolly-Hardwicke after his visit here." "Upset?" "What about, Miss Marple?" "Well, unfortunately the poor man passed over before he was able to pass on whatever it was that was on his mind." " We had hubble-bubble that day." " Hubble-bubble?" "You know, mixture of baked beans and leftovers." "So that"s what you call it." "Even the boys loathe it." "I suppose he did too." "L"m rather fond of it myself." "Mind you, there"s no accounting for taste." "Well, we got that cleared up." " Nice to get these things cleared up." " Yes." " Won"t you please sit down." " Thank you." "There." "Now may I say on behalf of all of us how sorry we will be to see you leaving in the morning." "Oh, how nice of you to say that, captain." "I had no idea you"d have welcomed my staying on." "The inconvenience, I mean." "Madam, there has been none involved." "It would have been splendid for you to have stayed as long as you wished." "Then say no more, captain." "I stay." "Good." " Steward." " Yes, ma"am?" "You know." " Captain." " Yes, madam?" "As a measure of my appreciation and with your permission, of course I should like to give the order." " What?" " Steward." "Splice the main brace." "Thank you." " Thank you, captain." " Thank you, sir." "No, not for me." "If you don"t mind, ma"am, I don"t really care for the stuff." "I think I"II turn in." " Oh, well." "Captain." " Yes, madam?" "Ladies and gentlemen, the good ship Battledore." " Battledore." " Battledore." "And now, if you"II excuse me, I think I"II retire." "Good night, everyone." "See you all in the morning." "How the devil did that happen?" "L"m afraid you more or less invited her to stay." " Who"s talking to you?" " But you did, captain." " Did I?" " Yes." "Did I?" "I feel it"s rather a case of being outmaneuvered, sir." "Outmaneuvered?" "Me?" "Outmaneuvered." "Well, you"II notice the champagne was already laid on, sir." "Yes." "Already laid on." "What"s her little game then?" "Mr. Stringer, what..." "Dusty." "Whatever can the dear man mean?" "Captain." "Captain, sir." "Officer of the watch, sir." " There"s no need to bash the door down." " Sorry, sir." "One thing I can"t stand is being disturbed when I"m curling my beard." " What do you want?" " Well, sir, shore leave..." " Keep your voice down." " Oh, yes, sir." "Shore-leave party just returned minus one." "Minus one?" "One?" " Who"s adrift?" " Dusty Miller, sir." "Dusty." " No." "Not him." " L"m afraid so, sir." "You mean to tell me, you let that young villain loose with her about?" " I didn"t see reason to change the..." " You blithering twit!" "Blith..." "You should"ve clapped him in irons the moment she came aboard." " Request permission to round him up." " Permission granted." "Thank you." " And, Compton." " Yes, sir?" "You can tell Miller from me that for once in his miserable life he"d better put his heart and soul into morning prayers." "Aye, aye, sir." "Patrol, quick march." "Patrol, halt." "Prisoner"s escort, fall in." "Patrol, right turn." "Quick march." "L"ve been observing you and I"ve been wondering why a gentleman like yourself that"s able to live in a lovely hotel like that, is wanting to sleep in my bed?" "I do assure you, I"d no intention of..." "Good night." "Prisoner and escort, halt." "Petty officer, carry on." "Quick march." "Prisoner and escort, halt." "Left turn." "Petty officer, fall out." "Operation Snatch." "Go." "Mr. Stringer." "Miss Marple, I..." "I stole their boat." "Calm." "Steady yourself." "Now go on." "I did as you said." "I followed the shore patrol." "Those boys, Miss Marple." "They robbed the place like professionals." "Did they indeed." "I strongly suspect that one of the officers is an arch criminal." "A man who corrupts the mind of youth and profits by the corruption." "Yes." "Return ashore, Mr. Stringer." "And keep on your guard." "I will, Miss Marple." "Oh, it"s you." "What are you doing?" "Don"t be a fool." "No." "Oh, pump up, lad." "Pump up." "That"s better." "Don"t think I"m enjoying this, do you?" " Captain, sir." " What?" "Captain, I"m glad you"re an early riser too." "A word with you, please." "Not at the moment, madam." "As you can see, I"m somewhat déshabillé." "But, captain, this is important." "Now if you don"t mind." " As you like, madam, yes." " I think I mentioned to you that poor Mr. Ffolly-Hardwicke was exceedingly troubled." "Yes, you did indeed." "I believe..." "I mean, I"m sure I"ve stumbled upon the cause." "This lad Miller." "Madam." "Please." "If you are about to suggest that by some manner or means there"s been any dereliction of duty aboard this vessel I will see to it that the culprit hangs from the highest yardarm on the ship." "Just like that." "Yes, just like that." "Hello." "Compton." "L"m not having it." "Not in my ship." "L"m not having it." "Nothing but questions, questions, questions." "I haven"t asked any yet, sir." "Well, it"s about time you started." "Place swarming with police." "It"s unsettling the lads, unsettling the staff and it"s certainly unsettling me." " Yes, sir, and I can see that." "Death:" "Instantaneous." "Time:" "Round about midnight." " Cause:" "Asphyxiation by hanging?" " Wrong." "Run through first then hung up afterwards." " Run through?" " With a sword." "Seems rather like gilding the lily but there we are." "Extraordinary business, the whole thing." "Like to discuss it with you but not now." "Got a baby due." "Give you a full report later." "Good morning." "Morning." "Morning." "Well, he"s a bit on the brisk side, isn"t he?" "Yes." "Run through, eh?" "You hurt yourself?" "Any more of these weapons on board, captain?" "Yes, there are." "I got one myself, as a matter of fact." "Well, everybody has." "Part of dress uniform." "Except for the ladies, of course." "Anyone could"ve used this, couldn"t they?" "That is hardly gallant, chief inspector." "Sorry, madam." "It might help if I could establish who was the last to see Compton alive." "The last person to see Lieutenant Compton..." "Yes, establish that and you"ve got whoever did him in, haven"t you?" "Well, let"s begin with you, sir." "Well?" " ""Well,"" what?" " When did you last see the deceased?" "Well, I can"t see it"s any of your business but it was six bells in the first watch." " Which means?" " Eleven o"clock last night, of course." "Thank you, sir." "Any advance on 11?" "Well, you heard what he said." "Any advance on 11?" "I see." "Any reason why anyone should want to do away with this officer?" "No, I can"t." "He was a most popular fellow, wasn"t he?" "Probably one of the most popular on board." "Clearly not with everyone, sir." "Perhaps you can help me, sir." "Did Lt. Compton have any enemies you"re aware of?" " I don"t think so." " Quarreled with anyone?" " Had there been any bad feelings?" " Well, I..." "I couldn"t really say." "Can anyone say?" "What about you, sir?" "I had little to do with him." "I don"t know." "And you, Mr. Humbert?" "Yes, well." "All right, it"s..." "It"s..." "It"s quite true that Compton and I hadn"t been getting on very well lately." " Really, sir?" " It..." "Well, I"m sorry, Shirley, but it"II have to come out sooner or later." "It was because Compton was always making up to Shirley." " That is, Miss Boston." " Eric." "You see, Shirley and I are more or less engaged." "What?" "Do you know what you"re saying?" "Oh, Humbert, this is serious." " Yes, I quite agree, sir." " Yes." "In my ship there is no..." "Repeat, no hanky-panky between the sexes." "It is a golden rule of the trust and we are bound to uphold it." "By thunder, Humbert, you"ve got some explaining to do." "Engaged." "To a woman." " Explain, sir, explain." " Will you kindly let him, sir?" "Sir?" "Excuse me." " What do you want?" " Excuse me, but something important..." " Have you hurt yourself, sir?" " Get on with it, Bacon, please." "Well..." "I just heard that the lads up in town..." "All right." "You sent a patrol ashore last night, sir?" "Well, what on earth"s the matter with that?" "Well, sir, the lads are at the police station reporting a theft." "They couldn"t return to the ship last night because someone stole their dinghy." "A man"s been murdered, man, and you"re fussing about dinghies?" "Sir." "I take the point to be that whoever stole the dinghy could also have rowed out here and..." "And..." "Yes, that"s very good." "Well done, Conners." "Why didn"t you think of that?" "I did." "Your dinghy"s been recovered adrift in the estuary." "It must"ve been tied up by an amateur." "We"II return it, when we"ve tested for fingerprints." "Just a minute." "Don"t you think I"m due for some sort of ""l"m sorry, captain""?" " L"m sorry, captain." " Thank you." "Bacon, you get the launch alongside to..." " Bacon." " Sir?" "Are you all right, sir?" "I thought I saw..." "No, it couldn"t be." "Oh, botheration." """Secretary to the trustees." "Cape of Good Hope Youth Reclamation Trust, Milchester. """ " Bacon." " L"m sorry, sir." "I lost my hat." " What a time to lose his hat." " Onto something, sir?" "We"ve got to find whoever stole that dinghy." "He"s our killer." "Mr. Stringer." "Oh, dear." "Poor Mr. Stringer." "Mr. Stringer." "Mr. Stringer." "Yes, Miss Marple?" "No." "L"m here." "L"m sorry, Jim." "I had to come to warn you." "Warn me?" " You"re a wanted man." " Wanted?" "That dinghy you purloined last night." " Borrowed, only borrowed." " L"m afraid the police think that whoever borrowed that boat is a murderer." " Me?" "A murderer?" " Look." "I brought you a little brandy." "I thought you might need it." "Roadblock, map reference S14 X02." " Tommy 3 and Tommy 2 move to Y." " Beat five extended 200 yards." " Beat six, await sergeant"s instructions." " I don"t care, it"s orders." "Yes, sir, I realize our man is probably dangerous." "L"m taking all precautions." "Yes, sir, every man and dog in the force." "If you want to argue, take it up with the chief himself, Inspector Craddock." "What the...?" "Sorry, sir." " Sir?" " Yes?" " A tramp wants to see you urgently." " I don"t want to see a tramp." "Oh, yes, you do, sir." " What the...?" " The man you"re looking for I know where he is." "So all you need to do is lie low and allow the hunt to continue." "That"II keep the chief inspector out of mischief and give me a free hand." " But surely a combined operation..." " No, don"t you see?" "So long as the real killer thinks the police are looking for you he"II be lulled into a sense of false security." "Very well, Miss Marple, I"II do it." "Stout fellow." "Well, then I suppose it was the nefarious activities of the wretched Compton and his misguided lads that Mr. Ffolly-Hardwicke found out." "Well, let"s say it was that." " So Compton silenced Ffolly-Hardwicke?" " Yes." "Well, then who killed Compton?" " Well..." " His accomplice perhaps." "But did he have an accomplice?" "Oh, yes." "The person who intruded into Compton"s cabin when I was intruding." "That person obviously knew about the sea chest and its contents." "I see." "I wonder what it was that he or she wanted out of that chest." "Could it have been the loot from a previous robbery?" "By Jove, Miss Marple." "Yes." "The classic situation." "Thieves fall out." " Yes." " I see it all." "Compton murdered Ffolly-Hardwicke to procure his silence." "Compton"s accomplice murdered him to procure the loot." "Two murderers." " No." " No?" "No." "There"s something wrong there." "I feel it in my bones." "I have it." "What was bothering me." "Surely Compton"s accomplice would have chosen a more discreet way of disposing of his partner in crime." "Yes." "A sharp blow on the head a quick heave over the side, body carried out on the ebb tide." " Perhaps never to be recovered." " Precisely." "But to run a man through and then suspend him for all to see and from the mizzen yard, the traditional gibbet for mutineers and traitors." "No, Jim." "This suggests a different kind of mind from that of the common criminal." "The kind of mind that could conceive something so diabolical as to poison a man with his own snuff." " You don"t mean...?" " Yes." "I strongly suspect there is only one murderer." "That he killed both Ffolly-Hardwicke and Compton from a motive that we don"t yet know of." "A motive of his own." "By Jove, I believe you"re right." "But what could that motive be?" "A moment, Mr. Stringer." "I found this envelope in Compton"s sea chest." "It had been steamed open." "Why should Compton wish to intercept a communication to the trustees?" "On the back, these figures." "Some sort of calculation probably by Compton." "But see here the number 33." "You will remember Mr. Ffolly-Hardwicke"s preoccupation with just that number, 33." "Mr. Stringer, you must return to Milchester at once." "Go and see the secretary of the trust." "Miss Pringle." "And ask her what kind of communication from the ship would be likely to be contained in an unusual envelope of this sort." "But, Miss Marple, the police." "I thought you said I was to lie low?" "Well, use the back stairs." "Turn up your collar and pull down your cap." "Goodbye." "Good luck." "The chief constable and I have read your statement." "We can"t believe it, but we"ve read it." "Then there seems no further point in my staying." "Just a minute." "I could prefer charges against you for withholding information from the police, conspiracy aiding and abetting a fugitive and I expect a good many more if I put my mind to it." " Then why don"t you?" " Lf I had my way." "Anyhow you"re lucky." "The chief constable considers that some good has come out of your meddling." " Meddling?" " Meddling." "May I ask what line you intend to pursue?" "We"re already pursing it." "Compton was killed by his accomplice." "I thought you"d think that." "Glib." "Glib?" "Thought you"d want to see this in a hurry." "Thank you, Bacon." "Thank you very much." "We now know who that accomplice is." "In addition to last night"s there were six robberies in this neighborhood in as many weeks." "Jewelry mostly." "A social event preceded each robbery." "At all these social events the guest list included the name of Sub Lieutenant Humbert." "I see." "Are you going to arrest him?" "L"II pull Humbert in for questioning, confront him with those safebreakers." "But I feel that"s going to be a formality." "I take it that you"re going to disregard the possibility that Mr. Ffolly-Hardwicke died any other than a natural death?" "Come, now, Miss Marple, snuffed out by strychnine in his snuff." " You have too much imagination." " Just as well." "Since I seem to need enough for both of us." "The way lies before you, Miss Marple." "May I suggest you take it, collect Mr. Stringer and carry straight on home to Milchester." "The way lies before you, chief inspector." "I suggest you take it." "Lock yourself up for the night and do some good hard thinking." "Of course." "Craddock how much longer are you going to have us sitting here?" "We"II wait for the doctor"s report, captain, if you don"t mind." "Just a..." "Just a..." "Do you know what day it is?" " Wednesday." " Wednesday." "It"s Trafalgar Day." "We"ve got our annual hornpipe display to do tonight at the Quay Hotel." "There"s a lot to do." " L"m afraid you"II have to cancel it, sir." " Cancel it?" "That"II break a tradition, chief inspector." " L"m sorry." " You"re sorry?" "It"s the death of Nelson." "I can"t ignore the death of Nelson." "And I can"t ignore some rather more recent deaths, captain." "It"s all very upsetting." " Ever got any snakes on board?" " Snakes?" " Yes, snakes." " What is he talking about?" "Yes, I thought as much." "Still, it"s most peculiar." "The girl was poisoned through a puncture in her middle finger." "Quick-acting stuff." "Curare possibly." "Very popular with the South American Pygmies." "They use the blowpipes." "Straight into the system." "Most effective." "They"ve gone in a jiffy." "Most extraordinary business." "L"ve never met anything like it in my life." "L"d like to discuss it, but I can"t wait." "Where"s my bag?" "You"ve got my bag." "Thank you." "Yes, I"ve got a baby due." "Actually it might even be twins." "Could be triplets." "Good morning." "That chap really is brisk, I must say." "All life and death with him, isn"t it?" "Snakes Pygmies blowpipes." "It"s her, you know?" "Talk about the Ancient Mariner, he had nothing on her." " Are you all right, captain?" " All right?" "No, I am not all right." " You"ve gotta get that woman off." " What woman?" "Miss Marple, you fool." "Listen, listen." "I wrote out my logbook this morning." "Do you realize that since she came aboard two of my staff have been slaughtered Humbert"s been slapped into jail by you idiots and four of my lads have been accused of housebreaking." "Apart from that, the ship"s stuffed to the gunwales with this stuff." "What do you call it?" "Loot." "Look at it." "Craddock." "My friend, my dear inspector friend." "I don"t care how you do it, but get her off." "I mean, trump up some charge if you like." "L"m sure you"re very good at that." "Do you see she"s a jinx." "She"s a Jonah." "She"s blowing an ill wind." "Where is the dear man?" "He must be back by now." "The captain thinks you"ve got the evil eye." "He wants me to get rid of you." "L"m sure he does." "Well, can I come in?" "If you wish." "And now I suppose you intend to release Sub Lieutenant Humbert?" "L"m not so sure about that." "I admit the girl must have been the accomplice." "She must"ve been the one who took the loot from Compton"s cabin." "But I still think Humbert"s mixed up in it somehow." "Oh, he is." "Well, you see, he"s one of the Rutherfordshire Humberts." "As such, acceptable socially at all the big houses in the county." "Which would explain, would it not his presence at the functions you spoke of, which preceded each robbery?" "I suppose it would." " I presume he went with the girl?" " Yes." "You know, it may be she made up to him deliberately in order to gain entrée into these houses so as to, as you would put it, case the joints for her real paramour Compton." "L"II think about that." "Meanwhile she was poisoned." "Somehow or other the poison was injected into her finger." " So I perceived." " All right, but how?" "By mousetrap." "Mousetrap?" "Yes." "I think that last night that unfortunate girl was seeking a safe hiding place for the ill-gotten gains." "She found one, reached inside, and snap." " Snap?" " Yes." "The wheal across the back of her hand:" "Consistent." "The puncture:" "A sharp point attached to the snapper." "But wait a minute." "A mousetrap primed with a deadly poison?" "In heaven"s name, why?" "Clearly because the hiding place she found was already in use." " What?" " Hiding something else." "Something of even greater value." "Obviously, as the owner was prepared to guard it with a murderous booby trap." "Miss Marple, all this seems so fantastic." "Not really, chief inspector." "The method is outlined in this book, The Doom Box." "As is, by the way, the principle of murder by snuff." "Excuse me." "I take it you and your men will be wanting luncheon?" "Don"t want to put you to any trouble, madam." "Oh, it"s no trouble." "There are four meals going begging, now that our lads have been reduced to 29." "Twenty-nine plus four equals 33." "Thirty-three, chief inspector." "L"m convinced that the key to all this lies in the fact that the full ship"s company of lads numbers 33." "Miss Marple, you"re way above my head." "Mr. Stringer." "Rash." "Foolhardy." "What hit me?" "Seems some joker heaved this rock through the cabin window, sir." " Does it?" " Probably one of these hooligans we read so much about these days." "It"s a pity the police can do nothing about them." " Now, look here." "As soon as you"re compos mentis, chief inspector the captain would like to see you on a matter of utmost urgency." "Chief inspector." "Miss Marple." "I must be quick." "Listen." "The captain intends to demand that you allow tonight"s hornpipe display ashore and I want you to give way to him." " What?" "You must." "Chief inspector, do you know who threw that rock?" "If I only did." "My friend, Mr. Stringer." " Mr. Stringer?" " Yes, and you"II thank him for it." "I found this envelope in Compton"s cabin after his death." "Assaulting a police officer, withholding information again." "Now don"t be petty, chief inspector." "This type of envelope is used for the ship"s quarterly report to the trustees and Mr. Stringer has enclosed the latest example of our perusal." "You will see that the compliment of lads is quoted as 45." "In fact it is only 33." " You mean, a swindle?" " Yes." "And one which, if it"s been going on as long as I think it has has cost the trust a fortune." "May I, sir?" "I think it was this swindle that Mr. Ffolly-Hardwicke stumbled upon." "So did Compton who then added to his list of crimes, blackmail." "Blackmail?" "He intercepted that report, steamed open the envelope and as you will observe, calculated the amount to which our miscreant was profiting per year." "No doubt he intended to claim a substantial cut for himself but, of course, he got rather more than he bargained for." "Who signed that report?" " The captain, sir." " Come on." " No, inspector." "Nothing precipitant." " But, Miss Marple..." "No one must be apprehended yet." "They must all be allowed to go ashore tonight." "That"s impossible." "Embezzlement is one thing." "Proof of triple murder is another." "Softly, softly catchee monkey, with a mousetrap." "Liberty boats away in two minutes, madam." "What?" "Oh, my goodness, I haven"t even changed." " Captain." " Yes, madam?" " I wonder if you"d let me cry off?" " ""Cry off""?" "Well, I"II be returning home to Milchester tomorrow." " Tomorrow?" "Yes, of course, tomorrow." " Yes." "And while I"d tremendously enjoy accompanying you tonight I"d like so much more to spend my last night on board." "Yes, well, of course that"s entirely up to you." "L"m a landlubber, you see." "And, well, to hear the sea gently slapping the sides of the ship, to be curled up with a good book..." "Well, I"d be only too happy as long as it tops off your stay." "This is a rattling good detective yarn, you know." "I borrowed it from the ship"s library." "I know only one of you has read it, but I suggest that all of you do." "L"ve just got up to the most exciting part, when..." "Well, I hope I won"t be giving too much away if I say the answer is a mousetrap." "A mousetrap?" "There." "L"II say no more." "Otherwise I"II spoil it for you." " Captain, the boats are waiting." " Yes?" "Oh, yes, of course." "Well, then, may we wish you a very pleasant evening." " Thank you." " Good night." "The same to you." "All of you." "Miss Marple, I understand that you spoke up for me." "L"d just like to say thank you." "Good night." "Good evening, Miss Marple." "Are you quite comfortable, chief inspector?" "No." "Well, it won"t be long now." "Torch." "You." "I didn"t go ashore." "No one noticed in the dark." "No one notices me anyway." "What do you want?" "This was my last chance." "You leave tomorrow, don"t you?" "That is my intention, yes." "L"ve been under a great strain since you came aboard." "I want to talk to you." "L"ve got a confession to make." "Yes?" "I suffer from chronic seasickness." "I am not fit to teach seamanship." " I have to keep going on pills." " Oh, I see." " Do you purloin them from the sickbay?" " How did you know?" "It doesn"t matter now." "I suppose I"II have to resign." " No." "I don"t think so." " What?" "Admiral Lord Nelson had your complaint, you know." "And where would we all have been if he"d resigned?" "If it sets your mind at rest, I suggest it"s not too late for you to go ashore and join the festivities in honor of your noble predecessor." "Miss Marple I hardly know what to say." "I don"t know how to thank you." "Then don"t try." "You can show yourself now." "Good evening, commander." "Good evening, Miss Marple." "How long has it taken you to embezzle such a vast sum?" "Twenty years." "My fellow trustees must indeed have been lax." "Mr. Ffolly-Hardwicke"s visit was the first for a decade." "You prepare the quarterly reports, don"t you?" "Yes, I do." "I must admit I suspected the captain at first since he signed them." "I thought perhaps you might." "Then it dawned on me." "You had two reports, didn"t you?" "The one accurate, the other false." "A sheet of carbon paper between them, and the captain signed them both." "True." "Apparently you"ve spent very little of the fruits of your labor." "I find that curious." "It"s simply that I wish to retire in a style befitting an admiral of the fleet." "I beg your pardon." "My rank, you know." "I understood you were retired as a commander." "You don"t understand anything." "You don"t understand at all." " I should like to." " I was axed from the navy." "Nothing to do with my competency." """Unsuitable for further promotion,"" I think the phrase was." "I was offered this post afterwards." " And you took it?" " Yes and I also took as my right the regular promotions that would have been mine had I still been in the service." "And the pay rises that went with them." "I may be wearing the uniform of a commander, but I am in fact an admiral of the fleet." "I think you"ve heard enough, chief inspector." "You almost convinced me there." "Now I propose to execute you on the spot then scuttle this vessel." "That way they"II think that we both went down with her." "And by the time the truth comes out, if it ever does I shall be enjoying a well-earned retirement a long way from here." "You won"t find it as easy as you think." "I warn you, I was ladies" national fencing champion in 1931." "And in 1931, madam, I was fencing champion of the Yangtze Flotilla." "En garde." "Inspector." "Salute, Miss Marple." "And now, I"m afraid, the coup de grâce." " Mr. Stringer." " Not this time, Miss Marple." "Touché, Mr. Stringer." " Well done, well done." " I was so worried, I couldn"t stay away." "My goodness, the chief inspector." "Quick, the hatch." "Allow me." "Are you all right?" "I was so concerned about you." "Captain, sir." "Sir?" "I think they want you." "What?" " Captain." " Madam please, there"s no need for words." "Hilt towards me." "Guilty." " The end of my career." " Captain." "Your great-grandfather"s Trafalgar sword?" "Madam, I"II tell you something." "I never had a great-grandfather." "And I bought this in Portsmouth Market for 35 and 6." "I think you"ve misunderstood." "The hilt was towards you." " Yes, I know." " Which means you"re not guilty." "No." "We trustees must take full responsibility for all that happened." " Not guilty?" " No." "Not...?" "But I thought when...?" "I thought when the hilt was towards you...?" " It"s the other way around?" " Yes." "I never could get it right." "Not guilty." "Oh, thank you very much, madam." "Gentlemen, thank you very much indeed." "Excuse me." "Nevertheless, I regret I shall have to tender my resignation." "You see..." "Just a minute." "Would you come in, please?" "You see, Matron Fanbraid wants to get married." "And so do I." "We"ve been courting now, underhand, for far too long." "Fourteen years as a matter of fact." "It"s about 14, isn"t it?" "Fourteen years." "Now, I fully realize, madam, that it is a golden rule of the trust that there shall be no hanky-panky between the sexes." " I see." " So we"II wish you good day." " Come on, girl." " Matron." " Captain." " Yes?" "I think I speak for all my fellow trustees when I say that golden rule is hereby rescinded." "You"re a fine sea dog, captain, but it seems to me that the Battledore could well do with a woman"s hand at the helm." "Sydney." "Alice." "Push off forward." "Give way together, lads." "You know the moment I clapped eyes on her I said to myself:" """What an old darling. """