"_" "Alpha team." "We're live." "Operation Fat Fish is a go." "Heads up, people." "It's our mission to make sure Gary The Killer Whale makes it safely overseas to entertain the troops." "Easy, boy." "We're almost there." "Agent Hauser." "Colonel." "How are you?" "Why are you so dressed up?" "I'm hosting the NTSF Awards tonight." "I didn't want to go home and change." "Trent." "I'm picking up an energy signal." "We've been compromised." "Abort!" "Abort, Trent!" "What's that?" "What the hell?" "Ren faire music?" "Run!" "Run!" "Aah!" "I guess all's whale that ends whale." "But that whale died." "Diego!" "♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪" "♪ oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪" "It's been labeled the greatest tragedy in San Diego history." "You're being charged as terrorists in the assassination of Gary The Killer Whale." "You've all been disavowed by NTSF." "Disavowed?" "Wait." "Can we still use the photocopier?" "'Cause I cannot pay Kinko prices." "I have a half order of General Tso's in the fridge." "What is gonna happen to that?" "I know you're innocent, but the President of the Navy ordered me to detain you on sight for an immediate trial-- unless one of you assaults me right now and you can escape." "Okay." "Got it." "So, when's that trial?" "If you knock me out and escape, you can find out who set you up and clear your name." "Damn." "Wish we would have thought of that plan." "There's a mole in this organization." "A mole?" "There's only one thing I hate more than a mole, and that's a mole on your skin." "And don't bother writing that down, because I'm no moleskin notebook." "I can only hold off Internal Affairs for so long." "You need to find out who set you up before those IA bastards find you." "Now, get moving." "Oh, oh!" "I've been knocked out!" "Oh!" "Oh, oh!" "Oh!" "This is where I come to get away from it all." "We'll be safe here." "This place looks just like headquarters." "No, it doesn't." "Headquarter has LED TVs." "These are plasma." "Oh." "All right." "The first question we have to ask is, who would want to do this to us?" "Somebody who wants us out of NTSF and knew exactly where we'd be." "But we were the only three that knew the drop location." "You think that one of us is feeding the terrorists information?" "That's ridiculous." "Is it ridiculous, Piper?" "Hey." "Look, we're all friends here, and we just need to stick together like Schwimmer and the gang." "I might be a total Ross, but you... are no Rachel." "Internal Affairs." "Uh-oh." "Internal Affairs." "Heads up" " IA coming." "I'm so sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I just wanted to introduce myself." "I'm Agent Fitzpatrick from Internal Affairs." "I just wanted to talk to you about this whole whale incident." "Bite me, you IA scum." "You come into my home and try to play hardball with me?" "Let me tell you something, sweetheart." "Mama don't play that." "Yeah." "People don't usually love us folks in Internal Affairs." "But I'm just doing my job, and if you give me a chance, I'm actually pretty fun." "In fact, after work, I'm going to Tig Bittley's for trivia night." "Winner gets a Magnum of Pinot Greege." "You want to come?" "That's for abbreviating "Grigio."" "Do you want to come?" "Why'd you sell us out, Piper?" "Because we never wear those scarves you knit for us?" "!" "It's not knitting." "It's crochet!" "San Diego's not scarf country, Piper." "By the way, how's your OCD treating you?" "No." "No!" "No!" "You animals!" "What-- what are you doing here?" "I just wanted to surprise you with a cookie." "Surprise." "I don't eat IA cookies." "If you want to grab lunch later, I'll be around." "Do you have my cell?" " Go here..." " So, I guess you're not the mole." "No one could have withstood 12 hours of continuous torture like that." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Sorry, Piper." "I guess all of our emotions are a little explosive right now." "What do you mean by "explosive," Alphonse?" "Oh, so now I'm the mole?" "You are?" "!" "Look at it." "All of your playlists-- labeled, perfectly organized, artwork intact." "It took me six years to make those playlists!" "Then you should have sung when you had the chance." "Not my "Get Psyched" workout mix!" "Fess up, Alphonse." "We all have secrets." "You have secrets?" "Sunglasses." "So stylish." "So fragile." "Val Kilmer gave me those." "He was Iceman in "Top Gun."" "No!" "Iceman!" "It must be tough being a robot." "So, none of us cracked under torture." "I guess none of us is the mole." "Maybe the mole's still inside NTSF." "Looks like we're gonna have to whack... a mole-- you know what?" "You guy-- this-- you ruined these for me." "Sorry." "I didn't mean to frighten you." "Oh, no, it's fine." "I just haven't had a visitor for a couple days." "You've been locked in here all alone for a couple of days?" "Well, I wouldn't say "locked."" "But the door was bolted from the outside." "Yeah." "Well, friendo, I sure know what it's like being an outcast." "Hey, if you're not busy, would you want to come over to my house and watch "The Bachelor" with me?" "We can make jokes about the people on the show during the commercial breaks." "I love talking during commercial breaks!" "Hey, is that larping gear?" "Yes, it is." "Um, is that a recorder?" "Uh, do you play?" "Yeah!" "The NTSF mainframe is straight ahead." "We got company, though." "One guard." "All right." "Follow my lead." "Damn!" "Security lock!" "Must be a retinal scanner." "Good thing I have an "eye-dea."" "What are you doing?" "Lot of extra junk connected to this eyeball." "Aah!" "That was Frank." "He organizes the office birthday cakes." "It worked, didn't it?" "Retinal scan unnecessary." "Insert security card." "Yeah, that-- all right." "It's a confusing-- it's a confusing machine." "Damn!" "Laser security!" "I got this." "Give me a second." "We're almost there." "I'm in!" "All right." "Great." "Um, excuse me." "What's going on in here?" "You guys are supposed to be disavowed." " Hey, Eddie..." " Oh, okay, nice try." "No." "I am not falling for that sexy stuff again." "Last time, you stole $2 million from me, and I got demoted, and they docked my pay." "So I'm not gonna be able to retire till I'm 165 years old." "No, thank you." "I'm reporting this." "Great job, Eddie." "Great job." "You passed." "Passed what?" "The test." "This has all been a test." "Right, to see if you were loyal." "And you are." "Yeah." "You just got promoted, Eddie!" "Yay!" "Shut up." "No." "A promotion?" "Yeah." "We want you on the team." "Really?" "Like undercover and stuff?" "Exactly." "Yes!" "I knew it!" "Now, tell me." "Besides Kove, who else knew our drop point?" "Oh, um-- oh, that's easy." "Agent Fitzpatrick." "She's been monitoring your every move for months now." "So, yeah, she knows everything about you guys." "She is so cool." "She plays the recorder, and she does this renaissance faire stuff." "Wait a second." "Recorder?" "Fitzpatrick." "She set us up." "We got to tell Kove." "Hey, what's going on in here?" "Whoa." "Great job, Teddy." "Ow!" "It's Eddie." "Could you call an ambulance?" "No time." "Jessie, you sound amazing." "You're my best friend." "I've never truly been happy until this moment." "Let go of the lab geek, you IA donkey spunk." "Wait." "You're IA?" "I'll never get clean again!" "But, Jessie, I thought we were BFFs!" "So that's it?" "This was all to get to Jessie?" "No!" "I just wanted to make a friend." "Any friend." "Nobody ever gives us Internal Affairs people a chance, and I thought with all the cool people out of the way, maybe one of the weird ones would be my friend." "Wait." "I'm a weird one?" "Nice dream." "But you forgot one thing-- They don't dream in" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Was that "weird" of me?"