" [ Speaking German ] - [ Speaking French ]" "[ Speaking German ]" "Ah, Heidelberg!" "[ Speaking German ]" "[ Speaking German ]" "[ All Arguing In German ]" "Oh, Sergeant!" "Which is the quickestway to Heidelberg, please?" " Uh, head down this street for four blocks." " Uh-huh." "You turn right." "You go straight ahead until you hit the autobahn." "There are signs all the way." "You can't miss it." "Thankyou, Sergeant." "What haveyou decided?" "[ German Accent ] We don't know." "I know." "Drive." "[ Speaks French ]" " [ Speaking German ] - [ Speaking German ]" "[ Conversation Continues In German ]" ""Captain Henri Rochard, French Economic Mission."" " Hey,Joe, we'll need you as interpreter." " Never mind, Sergeant." " We'll get along all right." " Oh, I'm sorry, sir." "Whom did you wish to see?" "The, uh, "O.I.C., A.M.G., W.A.C."" "Ah." "First floor." "Turn to your right." "Thankyou, Sergeant." "Hmm." "War Administration Industrial Relations..." "Coordinator's Office." "Service ofSupply Displaced Persons Property Disposal Department." "Uh, Labor Administration Department..." "Inter" " Inter" "I beg your pardon." "I'm looking for Lieutenant Gates's office." " Well, this isn't it." " Isn't it?" " Right over there, Captain." " Thankyou." "Yes, sir." "Yes, Colonel." "Yes, sir." "Yes, sir." "Yes, sir." "Yes" "Oh, it's you." "What do you want?" "Mm-hmm." "One nightshirt." "Gown." "What do you call this thing?" "Gown." " [ Whispers ] Henri!" " One pair ofbloomers..." " two pairs ofstockings-- and a run in one ofthem, I believe." " Henri, please!" "Just a moment." "And one slip." "I think that's all." "I'm sorry I couldn't get them toyou any sooner." "Good-bye, Lieutenant Gates." "Oh, what a stinkeryou are." " Did I forget something?" " What a dirty stinker." "And you're going right back and explain... howyou got my laundry by mistake in Dusseldorfand forgot to give it back." "Well, that's such a dull story." "Who would care?" " You know whatyou made them think." " I don't quite understand" "Oh, no!" "You mean, you and me?" "Why, I'd be glad to explain to them." "The very idea ofany connection is revolting." " Oh, no, you don't." "Never mind.Just" " I'd be delighted." "I'd explain to them I thinkyou're repulsive." "Shh!" "I said never mind." "Just forget it!" "Go away." "You've had yourjoke." "Now beat it." "Sorry, I can't oblige." "I'm here on official business." " Oh, don't tell me." "Another mission?" " Yes." " But don't getyour hopes up." "You're not going with me." " Thank heavens." " Who's yourvictim this time?" " My interpreter and aide is a Lieutenant Eloise Billings..." " whom I'm reliably informed is intelligent..." " Yes." " pretty..." " Yes." "and, as you Americans say, stacked." "That she is." "You haven't met her?" "No." "But that happy event's going to take place in Major Prendergast's office... in exactly, uh, 30 seconds." "Good-bye again to you, Lieutenant Gates." " Where are you going?" " Major Prendergast's office." " There's nothing foryou to do." " Isn't there?" " Wait." "Ifyou" " I'm in a hurry." " Hello, Eloise." " Hi, honey." "May I present Captain Rochard, Lieutenant Billings." "You two are going towork together." " Enchanted, Lieutenant Billings." " How doyou do, Captain?" "I was just" "I believe we have a mutual friend, Alex Brissac." " How nice." " Why, sure." "I remember him." "Lieutenant, due to the fact that I was on previous missions with Captain Rochard-- he just returned some of my things-- perhaps I can be of some help toyou." "Thankyou." "I can explain things to Lieutenant Billings." "Don'tyou have somewhere to go?" " Oh, no." "I'm free until 2:30." " Well, about this here mission" "It's a simple matter." "It's an overnight job." "We have to go to Bad Nauheim, a pleasant littlevillage, and" " Or itwill be till you get there." " Oh." "Well, I can explain thewhole thing bettertoyou when we're alone." "Betterwear side arms, Lieutenant." "He uses maps instead of etchings." "Captain Rochard, I've so looked forward to going to Bad Nauheim." "Billings, the French army shoe is built on slightly different lines." "It" " Ooh." " Hold the foot, would you,Junior?" " Yes, yes, yes." " As you can see by Captain Rochard's foot and my thigh." " For goodness sakes!" " That was purely accidental." " The mark on my chin" " May I have my foot?" " Mmm." "Thankyou." "The mark under my chin was an accident." " My fault entirely." "I tripped while he was chasing me." " Chasing you?" " Will you shut up?" " There." "You see?" "Something I would never have mentioned ifhe hadn't shown it." "His temper." "But the poor man's probably not to blame." "More like a form of epilepsy." " Will you shut up!" " I tell you this" "Will you shh-- shh" "Henri, I'm talking." "Yes, you are." "I tell you this because we're members ofthe same army and the same sex." "I think it onlyfairtowarn you Jack the Ripper's up that alley beforeyou head into it." "In case anything happens, would you like to give meyour mother's name and address?" " But, honey, that's what I've been tryin' to tell you." " Oh?" " I'm not goin' on this here mission." " Tell me" " You're not?" " I'm goin' to Frankfurt with Colonel Bliven on that D.P.job." " But who" " And you're goin' with him." " Tell me, who is Jack the" " Oh." "Honey, maybeyou'd better leave me your mother's little old name and address." "[Man Speaking German ]" "[ Speaking German ]" " Oh, hello, Captain Rochard." " Good morning, Major." "I was just going to send foryou, Gates." "Come in, please." "You too, Captain." "This shouldn't take long, Captain." "Gates, Billings is needed on another assignment." " You'll have to take her place along with Captain Rochard." " Thankyou, no." "But, Major, ifl may suggest, Lieutenant Perry is almost finished with her assignment." "No." "No experience." "And Captain Rochard wants our best, don'tyou, Captain?" "Well, uh, Major." "You see, this is not an important mission." "My government's request for an officer is only a technicality, so that" "Your orders call for our full cooperation." "It's myjob to seeyou get it." "Now, here's your identity card, security pass and temporary ration card." " Thankyou." " Your orders are being cut, Gates." " Captain Rochard will briefyou on the mission." " Yes, Major." "Well, Major, this Lieutenant What's-her-name" " Perry, she ought to do." "Oh, you're very kind, Captain, but we're used to being shorthanded." "Besides, ifl remember, you've had several assignments with Lieutenant Gates before... and very successfully, apparently." "It says here, "Recovered art treasures stolen by the Nazis from the Lille Museum." ""Also located hidden documents relating to rocket research." "Received Legion of Merit."" " Ah, she's your man, all right." " Wish she were." " What was thatyou said, Captain?" " Oh, nothing, Major." " Is there anything else I can do foryou?" " No, thankyou, Major." " You've done more than you realize." " Good luck then." " Good-bye, Major." " Good-bye." " Captain,Jack the Ripperwas a famous" " Thankyou." "Oh." "Thankyou, Captain." "I wonderwhat the armywould do ifl deserted." "They'd shootyou." "The thought makes my mouth water." " I'd almost prefer it myself." " Which way do we go?" "Well, let's get the briefing over." "What's the job?" " You don't need to know." " Oh, come on." "Come on." "What's the job?" " To keepyour mouth shut and do as I tell you." " [ Groans ]" "I would like to know the details of my assignment in order to know... what equipment to draw from the quartermaster." " See ifthey have a spare head." " And I may as well warn you, bubble mouth..." "I'm going to carry a revolver and a trench knife... and ifyou so much as lay a finger on me this trip... you're going back to France minus a lot of parts you probablyvalue." "Thereyou go again, you blistering idiot." "I didn't touch you!" "Oh, I'm sorry, Henri, but we're stuck." "We've got to be together for a while... so why not make the best ofit?" " There is no best." " Well, I'll go crazy ifyou" "We turn here." "I'll go crazy ifyou keep losing that maniac temper every ten minutes." "Aw, Henri, let's grow up." "I'm sorry about what happened in the wine cellar." "I have no temper." "No one ever accused me ofhaving a temper!" " They didn't, eh?" " No!" "Doyou rememberwhatyou were doing the last time I sawyou?" "You were chasing me down the Hermann Goring Strasse in Dusseldorf... swearing you were gonna tear my head offand make me eat it!" "And what colorwas I?" "I was blue." "A lovely, robin's egg blue..." " You looked so funny!" " on account ofhaving been pushed into a vat of dye byyou!" " I didn't know it was dye." "I thought it was water." " Water." " Blue!" "All over." "Blue." " [ Laughing ]" "It's your own fault anyway... drinking all that free wine and turning into an octopus with hands." "You misunderstood." "You flatteryourself." "I was only trying to be friendly." "Oh, I'm sorry I misunderstood." "Well, let's forget it." "It's all overwith, and the dye's come off." " No, it hasn't!" " It hasn't?" " No!" " [ Laughing ] Oh, I'm sorry." "Oh." "That's all right." "There's a certain advantage in being an oddity." " In here, Henri." " Oh." " Hello,Jack." " Hello, Catherine." "What's so funny?" "A little bit difficult to describe." "Oh, Henri, this is Captain Ramsey." "Captain Rochard." " How doyou do?" " Ofthe French Economic Mission." "Oh!" "[ Speaking French ]" " Hiya." " Hiya." " Haveyou some orders for me,Jack?" " All ready." "Oh, Burns?" "You know, Cathy, this means no dance for me Saturday night." "Don't be silly." "You can take Kitty." "I'd rather sit alone in my room and think ofyou." "Wouldn'tyou, Captain?" "Uh-huh." "Alone in my room." " Better take good care ofher." " I'll watch her every moment." " Oh, that's fine." " Well, we'd better be getting on." " Bye,Jack." " How about dinner the nightyou get back?" " Okay." "It's a deal." " Swell." "[ Speaking French Awkwardly]" "Seeyou in church." " Uh, sure." "So long." " So long." "Hmmm." "That, uh, linguist in there" "I think he's stuck on you." "What's the matterwith him?" " It's only natural thatyou wouldn't understand, Henri." " It certainly is." "You see, you chase after anything in skirts." "Anything." "They're all the same toyou." "But lots of men can tell them apart." "Believe me, sometimes they find one they like better than the others." "That's called love." "You probably haven't experienced it, but you must have read about it somewhere." " Where are we going?" " We" " I go that way." "I have to get my stuff." " Which way do I go?" "I have to pay off my cab." " I'll meet you at the motor pool." " When?" " Twenty minutes." "Before you go, why did you say I run after everything in skirts?" " I didn't." " You did." " I said "anything."" " Oh, that's different then." "[ Chuckles ] American women." "You know, I'm just beginning to get it." " Forweeks you've been talking as ifhe had yellow jaundice." " He did." "And nowyou're grinning like a Cheshire cat because a job means being with him forthree days." " You can do a lot in three days." " Ifyou work at it." "What about the dye?" "Is it worn off, or is he still blue?" "He's still just mad, but he's a lot offun to fight with." " Bring that stuff, will ya?" " Sure." "Areyou, uh, ready, Captain?" "Quite ready, Lieutenant." " Morning, Sergeant." " Oh." "Morning, Lieutenant." "Need transportation." "Going to Bad Nauheim." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I guess you're all out ofluck, Lieutenant." " We'll settle for a jeep." " All we got available are motorcycles and sidecars." " Oh, come on, Sergeant!" " Did you look atyour travel orders, Lieutenant?" " What about those cars?" " You got priority four, Captain, and that's bottom." " Well, Captain, what do we do?" " We'll have to take a motorcycle." " Areyou checked out on motorcycles, Captain?" " I can drive one." "Ifyou ain't checked out, you can't, and I can't checkyou out." " I have a motorcycle license." " Well, sir, I guess that fixes you up." " We'll wait for a car, Sergeant." " Oh, I can drive one." " I'm sure." " But I tell you I'm good on a motorcycle!" "My brother had one." "We used to go hill climbing." " I can even ride one standing up." " What for?" "Oh, all right." "But I can still ride a motorcycle." "Or areyou afraid?" "We'll take it, Sergeant." "And I am afraid." " Any one ofthese, Sergeant?" " Sure, Lieutenant." "Takeyour pick." "Remember, Captain, she has to drive it." "That's regulations." "Thankyou." "Sergeant, can you dig up a helmet and a pair of goggles?" " Shouldbesome in the toolbox, Lieutenant." " Oh." "Yeah." "Thanks." " [ Laughs ]" " What are you laughing about?" "Begging your pardon, Lieutenant, how do you intend to ride that thing?" "Sidesaddle?" "No, Captain." "Begging your pardon, astride." " Oh, that's a shame." " Excuse me." "Mm-hmm." "How far is it to Bad Nauheim?" "About 1 20 kilometers." " Doyou know the way?" " [ Motor Starts ]" " I've got a map." " OfGermany?" "Yes, Captain." "That's right." "OfGermany." "Amazing." "Stop that." "You'll be all right." "Hey, Lieutenant!" "You forgot something!" "Never mind.Just let her go!" "I'm sorry, Lieutenant." "I took it offfor oiling." " I forgot to hook it up." " [ Chuckles ] That's all right." "You'd better take this one, Lieutenant." "It's all in one piece." " It would be better." "Don'tyou agree, Captain?" " I don't know." " You don't know?" " Yes." "I don't know." "You know how sillyyou look just sitting there?" "[ Chuckles ]" " Well, is it still so funny?" " [ Motor Starts ]" "No." "I was just thinking." "I was thinking how nice it would be if this one came offwhilewewere driving." "[WarningBell Ringing]" "[Train Whistle Blows ]" " [Metal Clinks ]" " Oh, Henri." "I dropped my lipstick." " It rolled over there." " Get it, will ya?" "Well, it's a pleasure to get out of this portable bathtub." "[Bell Continues Ringing]" " I can't reach it." "It's gone over there, you see?" " Well, climb over the top." "[ Mutters ]" "[ Groans ]" " [ Yells ]" " Hey!" "Hey!" "Let me down!" "Let me down!" "Henri, what are you doing up there?" " What's the deal, Lieutenant?" " The area's sealed offfrom here to Battenberg, Lieutenant." " What for?" " Rounding up a gang ofblack market dealers." " I have a pass." " I'm sorry." "It's no good, Lieutenant." " And I've got a general pass." " Keep it, Captain." "All passes are suspended." " For how long?" " Oh, eight to 1 2 hours anyway." "Maybe 24." " [ Groans ]" " I'm sorry." " Well?" " I might have known." "Well, don't blame me." "It's not my fault." "What'll we do?" "I can't wait here for 24 hours." "I've got to be in Bad Nauheim by 3:00 tomorrow afternoon." "Ifthis thing had wings, we could" " Say, what's wrong with that?" " Hmm?" "What's wrong with what?" " That boat." " I don't know." "It should say "U.S. Navy" on it, shouldn't it?" "Oh." "I mean what's wrong with putting the motorcycle on the boat and rowing past Battenberg?" "It's only a few miles, and we can pick up the road from there." " Doyou think they'd let us?" " Well, we can try." "Hey, Lieutenant." "Is it okay ifwe take that boat and row down past Battenberg?" "So long as you don't row on the road, it's none of my business." " Good." "Can we have a couple ofyour boys to help us?" " Sure thing." " Thanks." " Sergeant Christien, could you bring some men over here?" "[ Henri ] Watch your feet." "Better put it in gear, Corporal." "[ Catherine ] Thanks, fellows." "Lieutenant, will you tell the O.I.C.... that we'll either return the boat or teletype him where to pick it up?" " Sure thing." " Will you please help us to shove off?" " Good luck toyou." " Thankyou." " Have a nice trip." " Thanks." " Thankyou." "Grab an oar." " Who, me?" "Yes, you." "An oar." "Go on." "Now, pull." "Pull!" "Right." "Pull." "[RoaringSound]" " What's that ahead?" " It's a bridge." " Not on the map though." " Well, where are we?" "A couple of more miles should do it." " Ah." " What's that?" " What's what?" " That noise." " Sounds like a C-47." " Oh, it's bigger than that." "Must be a C-54." "Must be an awful lot ofC-47s." "C-54s." "[ Roaring Increases ]" "Well, whatever kind ofairplanes they are, they make a lot of noise." "It doesn't sound like-- Henri, pull for shore, quick!" " Why?" " Don't argue, please.Just pull!" "Oh, now let me tell you something, Lieutenant Gates..." "I'm going straight down this river." "You sure are." "Butyou're going over a waterfall first." "Oh, well, that's different." "I'm" " Oh!" " [ Screams ]" "Ooh!" "Oh, Henri, stop playing ostrich." "Come, help hold this!" "Hold on." " Now let's try to pull ourselves free." " All right." " Come on, Henri." "Pull." "Pull hard." " I'm pulling." "Now we're getting it." "[ Speaks German ]" " Now row." " I'm rowing." "Come on, Henri, pull!" " Come on." "Row hard, Henri." " I am!" " Now turn it around." " I'll turn it." " Oh, boy!" " Oh!" "You're so clumsy." "Have you got it?" "[ Grunting ] A little bit more." "Henri, that's awfullywet ground you're sitting on." "Well, at the moment I can't feel anything anyway." "But when I do, I think I'm going to kickyou bowlegged." "Forwhat?" "For saving your life?" "Oh, yes, that's right." "You did catch that rope, didn'tyou?" "Yes." "I did." " Convenient, wasn't it?" " Oh, they always are." "Well, I suppose I oweyou something for that." "Okay." "I'll call it square ifyou'll tell me what we're going to do in Bad Nauheim." " Oh." " Come on, Henri." "Well, there's a man in Bad Nauheim who grinds lenses." "Good ones too." " His name is" " What's the matter?" " Charley horse." "Well, roll over." "I can fix that." "I'm" " Oh, no." "Never mind." "Go ahead with the story." " His name is Schindler." " Schindler, a lens grinder." " That's right." "Myjob is to persuade him... thatwe'rewilling to pay more for his lenses than he can get in the German black market." " Ooh, that's sore." " Well, do as I tell you." "Roll over." " Come on." "I'm good at that." "Come on." " Oh, all right." "I'll fix it." "I can helpyou." " What's our problem?" " No problem at all." "A few well-chosen words, a contract, a passport in his hand." "Then we can go home." "That's the whole plot." "Simple, isn't it?" "In that case, I don't see why they assigned me to this mission." "They probably didn'twant to make it too easy." " How is it?" " What?" " My leg." " Not bad." "Better than I remembered." " Perhaps the other one needs" " Oh, no." "Never mind." "That'll do it." "Thankyou." "Help me up." "I was just trying to be friendly." "Butyou never try to be friendly from a distance." "Henri." "Henri, one move, and this time it won't be a vat of dye." "It'll be the river." " You wouldn't." " Yes, I would." "I thinkyou would." "Catherine, your lack of cooperation is amazing." "I'll cooperate by getting the map and finding out where we are." "Whoput us on the river in the firstplace?" "I knew you were going to say that." "You're tiresome." "You're subnormal." "I don't propose to argue with you any further." "Oh, dear." "That darn road doesn't come within ten kilometers ofhere." "What?" "Across open country in that thing?" "Oh, it'll just be a little bumpy." "Only for a couple ofhours." " We'll make it by 3:00." " Ha." "Wewon't get there before dark, ifwe get there at all." "This motorcycle will go anywhere." "Ifyou'll getyour pants offthat grass... and help me get it out ofthe boat, we'll be on the road in no time." "Pitch dark." "Henri, we're lost." "Absolutely lost." " Is there a difference?" " Oh, haven'tyou got a bump of direction?" "That's the only kind I haven't got." "Well, come on." "You drive this thing." "My back hurts." "Oh!" "You're the one who checked out on the motorcycle." "You know what the sergeant said." " Oh, stop being so cute." "I hateyou when you're-- - [Traffic Passing Nearby]" "What's that?" "Listen." "Oh!" "We must have been driving alongside that road for the last hour!" " Perhaps theyjust moved it there." " Oh, shut up." "Henri, there's a sign back there." "See what it says." " I don't supposeyou have a flashlight." " No, I haven't." "[Thunderclap ]" " What does it say?" " I can't see." "Well, climb up, silly." "You'd better hurry up." "It's starting to rain." "[ Groans ]" " What does itsay?" " Well, I can't tell." "It's in German." "Well, moveyour arm." "Oh." "You can come down now, Henri." " What did it say?" " Never mind." "Get in." " But what did it say?" " "Wet paint."" "Well, how many miles?" "Oh, no, Henri." "No, you don't." "You'll get awful wet ifyou stay out here." "Come on." "Get in the sidecar." " I know it." "I know it." " Hurry up." "[ Bell Jingles ]" "All right, Henri." "We're in Bad Nauheim." " You can come out now." " You sure?" "Yes." "I'm sure." "And bring my bag." "[ Speaking German ]" " [ German ] - [ German ]" " [ German ]" " What areyou talking about?" "He wanted to know ifwe wanted one room or two." " You told him?" " I told him." " [ Groans ]" " What's the matter?" "My back." "I think it's broken, and it's all your fault." " My fault?" " Yes." "Ifyou'd pushed that cow out ofthe way... we wouldn't have had to take the detour that landed us in the brook." " It was a bull!" " Cow." "You told meyourselfyou couldn't tell the difference at 20 yards away." "I know." "But ifyou can't tell the difference at 20 yards, it couldn't be a bull." " He would have had horns." " Oh." "Yeah." " Who is it?" " Cinderella." " What doyou want?" " Myslipper." "Well, open the door." " Well, what doyou want?" " You just said that." "How's your back?" "Oh, it's awful." "It hurts." "Get into bed." "I will not get into bed." "What doyou thinkyou're doing?" " And what's all that stuffyou've got there?" " I've broughtyou a drink." "Oh, I thought so." "I knew you'd get up toyour old tricks." "And also some liniment to rubyour back." "Get into bed." "Oh." "We'll need some water." "Takeyour shirt offtoo." "I am not going to take my shirt off." "Well, how am I going to rubyour back through your shirt?" "You're not going to rub my back through anything, including my own foolishness." "Here." "Drink this." " Want somewater?" " No." "It's good." "Hmm." "[ Moans ]" "[ Moaning ] My back!" "Doyou want it rubbed or not?" "Is that stuffany good?" "Turn over." "[ Groaning ] Wait a minute!" "Go on." "All right." "Ow!" "Oh." "Ooh!" "Stop bawling." "I don't want them to thinkwe've smuggled a cow in here." " Well, it stings." " That's what it's supposed to do." " Oh." " Let it soak in for a while." "Now, relax." "Oh!" "You're dislocating everything!" " Oh, relax." " I hurt further up." "Well, how can I getyou to relax ifyou won't cooperate?" " You heard what I said." "I hurt further up." " Oh." "Mmm." "That's better." "Makes me feel sleepy." "Good." "Oh, that's nice, Henri." "You know, I'm sorry." "I thought when you came in hereyou were behaving like a stinker." "Butyou've been a stinker for so long I just" "I know." "I know." "Go to sleep." " What?" "With you in the room?" " Well, I can't rubyou from the hallway." "Ifl go to sleep, will you promise to get right out ofhere?" " I'll go now." " Oh, no." "It feels good." "Now go to sleep, and I'll be gone in a minute." "Henri, about this mission." " Never mind." " Well, Ijust want to ask a question." " All right." "What?" " Is this mission we're on so important?" "No." "Not particularly." "But it is to me, because it's my last assignment for the army." "I'm getting out next week." "Oh." "I didn't know that." " Then it is important, isn't it?" " Mm-hmm." "Henri, you know I" "Oh, I'm so sleepy." "Good night." "Oh, she'll never believe me." "[ Crowing ]" "[ Crowing]" "## [ Humming ]" " What happened?" "What happened?" " Shh!" "You unspeakable weasel." "I knewyou'd be up toyour old tricks the minute my backwas turned." " That's ridiculous." " Get out ofhere." " I can't get out." " I said get out!" " I can't get out." " Shh." "Why not?" " Because the door handle came off." " What an excuse!" " Even you could think of a better one!" " The handle came off" " I don't believe you." " You just try to open the door." " All right!" "I will." " Open the door!" "Tryto open the door." "I" " How did you do that?" "Oh, you liar." "You dirty" "B-B-But" "You're worse than I thought." "Put on your shoes and get out ofhere!" " I tell you" " Don't speak to me!" "Don't speak to me." "You understand?" "Don't speak to me again." "Ever!" "Mmm." "I don't want to talk toyou." "Don't speak to me." " I-- - [KnockAt Door]" "[Knocking]" "[Knocks ]" "Stop banging on that door!" "[Knocking Continues ]" " You can't come in!" " I'm in!" " Magic." " I told you not to speak to me, and-  [Knocking]" " Someone's out there." "Good." "Perhaps they'll let me out." "Who is it?" "[ Speaks German ]" "Fraulein, it's me." "The innkeeper's wife." "[ Speaks German ] Henri, we gotta do something." "You" " I know." "Get out that window." " Who, me?" "Go on, Henri." "You can't be found in here." "Don't argue." " Oh!" "American women!" " Go on." "What the" "Oh, shoot." "Come in." " [ German ] - [ German ]" "The Klinke" " The door handle came off." "It happened before once in the night." "I put it back." "I'm very sorry it happened." "[ Speaking German ] Climbing in the niceyoung lady's room!" "Out here!" " No, no, no!" " Out here!" "[ Screams ]" " [Crashing]" " Henri!" " [ Poultry Squawking ] - [Catherine Laughing]" "Come in." "Oh, excuse me." "I was looking for Captain Ro" "Oh, Henri!" "No!" " [ Laughs ]" " What do you want?" "You look like an organ grinder." "[ German ]" " What was that?" " The innkeeper." "I borrowed his clothes." "Why?" "I came here to Bad Nauheim to find Herr Schindler." "So I'm gonna make the rounds ofthe black market hangouts... and see ifl can get some information about him." "IfI'm in uniform, no one's gonna tell me anything." "Is that reasonable?" " Yes." " Seeyou later." " Don'tyou want me to helpyou?" " No." "Oh, now, Henri." "I'm sorry about the door handle." "I was wrong." "You were telling the truth." "I'm really sorry." "Nice ofyou to apologize." "That fixes everything." " Well, what more can I do?" " I often wonder." "Oh, Henri." "Stop being like that." "You're behaving like a little boy." " I know it." " Butyou said it was important." "I just want to help." " Never mind." " Is it all right ifl go on my own and tryto find Schindler?" " Shh!" " Well, maybe I could do something." " Don't do anything." " Oh, you make me so mad." "You don't want me to help." "That's right." "Don't do anything." "Ifyou see me, don't speak to me." "You don't know me." " Why not?" " Becauseyou're an American officer in uniform." "IfI'm seen talking toyou, they'll think I'm a stool pigeon." " I don't see why I can't go out" " Please.Just take orders." " Now remember." "You don't know me." " I don't know you." " You can't speak to me." " Okay." "I can't speak to you." " You can't even see me." " I never could." "Not for sour apples." " Oh!" " Oh, you stubborn" "He makes me so mad I could" "He makes me so mad I could" "Hey, Catherine." "Catherine Gates!" "Jowitt!" "Hello." "How areyou?" "It's good to seeyou." " What areyou doing in Bad Nauheim?" " I'm here on a mission." " What sort?" " Well, I'll tell you about it." "Can we get breakfast here?" " I know where we can get some real coffee." " Where is it?" " Come on." "Gonna be here long?" " Oh,just for a couple of days." "Fine." "Here we are." "Bill Trumble, Catherine Gates." " Hello." "How areyou?" " Glad to meetyou, Lieutenant." "Won'tyou sit down?" " Thanks." " Catherine just got in town this morning." " [ Speaking German ]" " Good morning." "Doyou want anything besides coffee?" " Oh,jam, rolls." "Anything you have." " Make it for two." " [ German ]" " How long areyou going to be here?" "Just a couple of days." " You haven't told me whatyou're doing here." "Well, it's not much ofa story.Just" " Say, isn't that the fellow I sawyou talking to at the inn?" " Yes." "That's him." "Well, he's going into the wrong place." "That's a black market hangout." "Bill has a friend in the M.P.s." "The German police are gonna raid that place this morning." "You mean the place hejustwent into?" "Mm-hmm." "That's why we came here for breakfast." "Get a floor show thrown in free." " Well, you couldn't have chosen a better spot." " [Sirens Wailing]" "Here they are now." "Watch them operate." "[Henri] Hey, Sergeant, willyou come and help me?" "Constable!" "Halt, halt!" "There's someone who can identify me." "She's an officer in the United States Army." "Come with me here." "Catherine." "Catherine, tell these men who I am." "Identify me." "Please tell them something." " Is something wrong, Officer?" " Ifyou please, Lieutenant." "He says he is French officer and you know him." "I never saw him before in my life." " That's what I thought!" " You shouldn't have done this to me, Catherine!" "I'll get even!" "I'll get even!" "[ Laughs ]" "I'll get even, traitor!" "I'll get even!" " Catherine, what is going on here?" " I'll tell you later." "Look." "By any chance could you fellows help me find a German lens grinder named Schindler?" " Sure." " We ought to be able to helpyou on that." " Think so?" " Mm-hmm." " Is this the man?" " Yes." "That's Captain Rochard." " Good morning, Henri." " I trust the captain will understand." "Therewas nothing elsewe could do." "No identity card." "Itwas not really ourfault." "Don'tworry." "I'm entirely awarewhose fault itwas." "Henri, I did exactly as you told me." "Well, thankyou, Captain." "Thankyou." " One question." "Why haveyou no beds in this jail?" " Didn'tyou have a bed, Henri?" "Well, you see, Captain, when we had beds, everyone wished to be arrested." "It was terrible." "The people did anything-- everything--just so they could have a bed." " I know how they felt." " Oh, you poor dear." "You haven't had a wink of sleep." "Shut up." "May I go now?" " Yes." "Of course, Captain." " Thankyou very much." "I'd like to have a word or two with you outside." " Of course, Henri." "I want to talk toyou too." " Mm-hmm." "Now, beforeyou say anything, I wantyou to meet" "Listen, you little bug-eyed traitor, I wantyou to remember this." "I'll get even." "I swear I will." "I'll get even ifit takes years." "Ifit takes forever, I'll get even." " Please." "Captain Rochard." " Go away." "I'm busy." " I'll breakyou." "I'll breakyou like a dry twig." " Henri, this is" "I'll turn you into a shaking old woman with a tin" " Didn'tyou hear me say I was busy?" " With a tin cup!" " I'm trying to tell you this is" "While I can understand howyou can be an utter rat just for the fun ofit, one thing baffles me." " Oh, there's no pleasing some people." " And that's yourjob." "The army gaveyou an assignment." "You took an oath as an officer-- the oath of duty." " I just followed your orders." " Now we'll never find Schindler!" "Where is Schindler now?" " Well, he's right" " He's probably heard I've been looking for him... and he's gone underground-- maybe left the country" " I know how those fellows work!" " But, Henri" " What do you want?" "Who are you?" " I am Schindler." " Well, that's fine." "Will you please stop annoying" " You're Schindler?" " Yeah." "Schindler." " Well, why didn'tyou say so?" " Becauseyou wouldn't give anybody a chance to say a word." "Now ifyou'll button that big lip ofyours so Herr Schindler can talk toyou for a minute... he hasn't much time before his train leaves." "Yeah." "All I wanted to say is that I'm so glad-- so grateful, so full ofhappiness." "Thankyou." " Well" " Good-bye." " Wait!" "I want to talk toyou." " He'll miss his train." "Yes." "I go to Paris." "French Economic Bureau." "I've got my passport and documents and contract here in my pocket." " I took them out ofyour briefcase." " This wonderful young lady..." " is giving and telling me everything." " Mm-hmm." "So I leave Germany now." "I neverwanted to be in the black market." "I'm a scientist, and now I will work for science and for France... and no more like a thiefin the night." "Thankyou." "Thankyou." "Good-bye." "Thankyou again." "Good-bye." "Nice little guy." "Mmm." " Soyou found him." " I ran smack into him." "Someone I knew knew him." "He was very anxious to go, as you heard." " It was easy." " Yeah." "Easy." "Yeah." "Easy." "All right." "Go ahead." "Start hollering." "Call me names." " [ German ] - [ German ]" " [ German ]" "Just a minute." "Doyou speak English?" " Sure!" " Good." "You know, there's nothing I've ever reallywanted in life." "Fame, money, position-- nothing." "Nothing until now." "There's just one thing." "And that is never to seeyou again as long as I live." "Thatwas a mean, rotten thing to say, and I" "Will you get the coffee, please?" " That was mean rotten." " Maybe it was mean rotten, but it wasn't accidental." "Fortunately, I'm getting out ofthe army soon." "I'm going to be a civilian, so never again can they order me to associate with you." "What's more, I'm going back to Heidelberg by train." "You can get some other chump to torture in that lunatic sidecar ofyours." "Aw, Henri, I know whyyou're mad, and I don't blameyou." "I would be too." "I knew it was your last job in the army, and I just didn't think." "I spoiled it foryou." "I'd give anything ifl hadn't." "I'd cut offmy arm, almost." " Mm-hmm." " Oh, I likeyou, Henri." "I can't help it." "I do." "You're stubborn, and you don't know anything, and you're a fathead." "But I don'twantyou to go away and just disappearwithout saying you'll write... or kick me or use my toothbrush" " Oh, for heaven's" " Well, I wouldn't put it pastyou!" " And after all we've been to each other." " And all we haven't been." " And all we've done together." " And all" "All we haven't done together." "I know that's not your fault." "It's all mine, and I feel like a" "Oh, I'm making a fool of myself." "Now, get outta here, or say something nice!" "Oh." "Well, I don't know, Catherine." "I" "Oh, that was nice, Henri." "That was nice." "Please say more." "Well, ifwe're gonna get back to Heidelberg before dark, we'd better be going." " Oh, Henri!" " But, Catherine" " Yes, Henri?" "Just one thing." " What?" " Pay for the coffee." "Yes, Henri." "What happened?" "What happened?" "Well, you went to sleep, so I pulled offthe side ofthe road." " I thought this would be better." " Thankyou." "You know, Henri, I've been thinking." "Why do we fight all the time?" " You tell me." " Oh,just sex antagonism, I guess." " What does that mean?" " I don't know exactly... but I think it means just the opposite ofwhat it sounds like." " I can't even thinkwhat it sounds like." " Oh, Henri." "I think it means thatwe really like each other butwon't admit it." " Listen." "I'd like it distinctly understood that I-- - [ Motor Revving ]" " Ifl weren't so sleepy" " Don't do it." "Go to sleep." "I will." " You all right?" " Sure." "Go on back to sleep." " Why are we stopping?" " I want to see a man about a road." "I'll be back in a minute." "Takeyour time." " [ German ] - [Motorldling]" "[ Motor Revs ]" "[ German ]" "Henri!" "Henri!" "You know something, Catherine?" "I don't mind being the first one to say it." "I likeyou very much." "As a matter offact, I'd miss you ifyou weren't here." "Henri, stop!" "Come back!" "Henri!" "Oh, no." " Henri!" " Catherine, now that I've told you how I feel, I" "Oh!" "My, this is terribly bumpy." "Look out!" "Catherine!" "Catherine!" "Catherine, darling!" "Areyou all right?" "Where are you?" "Yes." "I 'm here." "I 'm coming!" "I can hearyou, but I can't findyou!" "Darling, are you all right?" "Where are you?" "Here I am, over here." "Oh, there you are." "Oh, darling." "Thank goodness you're safe." "How did you get out there?" "Well" " Wait a minute." "Ooh." "I'm all out ofbreath from chasing you." " From chasing me?" " Uh-huh." " You mean you weren't on the motorcycle?" " Uh-uh." "You were byyourself." " Oh." "You got off and left me." " Henri." " Huh?" " What's all this "darling" business... you were mumbling about a moment ago?" " Darling?" "Did I say that?" " I heard you." "It's probably fright." "It's only natural that" "Did you mean me, Henri?" "Uh, I think I was stunned momentarily." "Well, maybeyou were, butyou looked like you were going to kiss me when you saw me." " I what?" " I wish you had." "I've never been kissed by a Frenchman." "Well, there's not-- What's so strange about that?" "Oh, you know what people say." " Oh, that's nonsense." " Well, you just hear people talk." "We're no different than anybody else." " Well, I don't know." "I've just heard talk." " That's silly." "Why don'tyou try it just once, and let me see?" " Oh, Catherine!" " That's the onlyway to find out, isn't it?" " But I tell you, it's so silly." " Well, there's no harm in trying, is there?" " No." "I suppose not." " Well, all right." "Go ahead." " Hmm." "Well, areyou ready?" " Sure." " There." "You see?" " That was no good." "That wasn't the least bit different." "I told you it wasn't going to be any different." "But I thought it'd be better than that." "Well, after all, you didn't give me much ofa chance." " Oh, that wasn't fair, was it?" " What doyou expect?" "Of course it wasn't." " I really should giveyou another chance." " Yes, you ought." "Well, all right." "Go ahead." "Try again." "All right." "Here." "Come here." "Well!" "Thatwas a little better." "Certainly." "You see?" "It could have been even better ifI'd had some cooperation." "IfI'd had a French girl, it would have been fine." "Wait." "What did you mean by that remark?" "Well, you haven't been giving me much help." " Oh." "And you think a French girl could do better?" " Yes." "I do." " Doyou want to try it again?" " Doyou want to try it again?" " Yes." " Well, so do I." "Wait a minute." "Lean back." "Areyou comfortable?" " Yes." " Good." "Major, we-- we want to get married." "Well!" "When did you reach that decision?" " This afternoon, about 2:30." " In a haystack." "You see, Henri was on the motorcycle, and I" "Catherine, I don't think the major would be interested in all the details." "And you two didn't want to go away together." "It would seem your mission was very successful." " Thankyou, Major." " My congratulations." " You're the very first to know." " I guessed as much." "Now, as to getting married, there's one hitch." " Itch?" " It's probably the haystack." "Henri and I" " I don't" " I don't" " I said "hitch."" "All marriages between American military personnel and aliens-  and you come under that heading, Captain" " Ah." "must be approved by the commanding general." " Now, there's a set procedure for that kind ofthing." " Yes, but" " It's only red tape, Henri." " Well, doyou itch, Catherine?" "The major said "hitch," Henri." "She means we've got to get a lot ofthings approved." " Oh." " Here are the forms requesting permission to marry." "Fill them out in quadruplicate... and when you've completed them, send them to Colonel Bliven's office." " Yes, Major." " And good luck." " Good-bye, Captain." " Yes." " Is she always so confusing?" " No." "But this is going to be." " What's the matter?" " Look at all this stuffwe've got to fill out." " She said there was four ofthem." " You weren't hearing so good." "She said four of each." " Let's go and get to work." " Fine." "Wait a minute." "Wait." "Wait." " Souvenir." " You'll end up with a pocketful." "Well, this is impossible." "Don't give up now." "We're halfway through." "My uncle's politics, aunt's religion, anywarts, any" "By the way, my aunt's name is Fanny." "Would you put that down, please?" "Any identifying scars on my second cousin's clavicle?" "We'll never get this done." "And look at this silly thing. "Nameyourfather's gender."" " No." " Yeah." "It says so." "Look." "No. "Father's birthplace." Gender belongs to this question over here." " I thought there was something wrong." " What an idiot." " Wereyou ever captured by Peruvian Indians?" " No." "Why?" "I understand they do a very good job of shrinking heads." "Mmm." "Come on." "Come on." "Let's take time out." "Oh, there are a lot ofthings I'd rather do than answer questions." " This, for instance?" " Mm-hmm." "Maybe I'd better go back and see another double feature." "[Catherine ] Oh, no." "Come on in." "We're still filling out forms." "Ifyou find anyone who wants to fill out forms with me, let me know." " I'm gonna get some sleep." " Good night." " Good night." " Seeyou in the morning." " We gotta get busy." " Oh." "Why do we have to go through all this?" "It's the army's way offinding out ifyou reallywant to get married." " Well, I know a much betterway." " Henri." "[ Ringing ]" "Major Prendergast." "Yes." "At ease, Gates." "That'll be all right." "Well, Gates?" "I'm sorry to botheryou, Major, but we haven't heard a word about our application." " It's been over a week." " Your papers must've bogged down somewhere." "Isn't there something you can do to hurry them up?" "He's getting awfully nervous, and so am I." " I'll see what I can do." "I'll letyou know." " Thankyou, Major." " Oh, Gates." " Yes, Major?" " He is worth waiting for, isn't he?" " Well, he is now." "I don't know what he'll be like by the time I get him." "I can't understand an American marrying a foreigner she hardly knows." "It's ridiculous and disgraceful." " I just can't seewhy shewants to." " You all better get glasses." "Why areyou women such pushovers for this parlez vous hand kissing stuff?" "Hand kissing?" "Why, he does more than that." "Why, Catherine told me he was plumb crazy." "Always chasing her and trying to beat her up." "Why, he left marks all over her." "I saw 'em." " Leave marks on me any time." "I'll bring the stick." " Oh, it wasn't a stick." " He kicked her right in the" " What?" " Well, he did." " Hi, Catherine." " We were just talking aboutyou, honey." " I'll betyou were." "Oh." "Well, say something." "Did you see her?" " Don't loseyour temper." "The papers are stuck somewhere." " Stuck, how?" "Well, bogged down in channels, lying on someone's desk." " What for?" " Henri, please." "I don't know." "Well, they let other people get married." "What have they got againstyou?" "Against me?" "It's probablyyou they're investigating." " Nonsense." "Why should they?" " Henri, please." " There are other people in the room." " Why should they investigate me?" "Because the American army is very careful." "That's why." "American army had better be careful, or they're not gonna have any American children soon." " Will you kindly loweryourvoice?" " I'll do better than that." "I'll take it somewhere else ifit annoys you." "Do that, and whileyou're about it, go bag your oars." " "Bag your oars"?" "What's that, more army talk?" " Navy." "Oh, naval talk." "It sounds like it." "Charming." " You make me sick." " Good." "Henri." "Excuse me." "Catherine, let me askyou something like a brother." " Doyou reallywanna marrythat phonyjoker?" " Certainly not." " You're kidding." " I hope he chokes." "Slowly, very slowly." "That's what I said all along." "A girl likeyou-- you couldn't make a mistake like that." " Thank heavens for army red tape." " Oh, don't thank the army." " You can thank me personally." " You?" "Why?" "I hid the papers." "I knew it was a cinch you'd changeyour mind." " You hid the papers?" " That's right." "I knew I was doing you a favor." " You hid the papers." " I put them in the advance file." "Don't mind going out on a limb for a friend." "It was taking a chance, sure" "Now as toyour marriage, you, Catherine, want me to marryyou in my church." " That's right." " And you, Henri, always promised... the pastor ofyour parish that he'd do the job." " Yes." " I thinkyou'd better have both marriages." " I think he's right." " Oh, yes, yes." "Just a moment." "There's more to it than that." "Under the German law, which is recognized by the occupying army... you have to go through a civil ceremony before the church ceremony." " Oh?" " Soyou have to be married first..." " by the burgermeister here in Heidelberg..." " Ah." "and then come to me, and then go to Henri's pastor." " That makes three times." " Three?" "Chaplain, did you know that in China, the bride and groom just drink tea..." " out ofthe same bowl, and that's it?" " Areyou Chinese, Henri?" " Of course I'm not Chinese." " I didn't thinkyou were." "I'm not." " What brought that up?" " You just said something about drinking tea." " I was telling the chaplain" " I'll drink tea with you ifyou want me to." " You do?" " Stop it." "Stop it." " Chaplain, perhaps I shouldn't go through with this." " You can still say no, Henri." " We'll go to the burgermeister, and then come back toyou." " I'll be ready foryou any time." " Thankyou." " Don't pay any attention to her, Chaplain." " All right." " Good-bye." " Good-bye." " Good-bye." "[ Speaking German ]" "You have decided now to live your future life together." "[ Speaking German ]" "And forsaking all other... keep thee only unto him so long as ye both shall live?" " I will." " Will you please join right hands?" "Henri, will you repeat after me?" " I, Henri..." " I, Henri..." " take thee, Catherine..." " take thee, Catherine-- to be mywedded wife." " [ Speaking French ] - [ Speaking French ]" " He wants the ring." " I haven't got it." "Oh, here." "I" "[ Speaking French ]" "Well, you like it?" "I like it." "It's been quite a day, hasn't it?" "We're a lot married, Henri, three times." "It was worth it." "I don't see how we could ever get a divorce." "It would be something like unwinding the inside ofa golfball." " Want some more coffee?" " I just had four cups." " Besides, it keeps me awake." " Oh." "What's the matter?" "I was just thinking about a friend of mine on his wedding night." "Oh?" "What happened?" " Well, you see, he was a-- - [Doorbell Buzzes ]" "[ Speaking French ]" "No, no." "Not tonight." "No, no." "No, no." "[ Speaks French ]" " Tell me about him." " About what?" "About your friend on his wedding night." "Oh." "I'm not so sure I can tell you that." " Oh, of courseyou can, Henri." " That's right." "I can now, can't I?" " Mm-hmm." " Well, here's what happened" "[Doorbell Buzzes ]" "This is just like my friend's story." " Now what?" " Hi." "Can I come in?" " Well, you're in." " I didn't wanna come, but I have to-  [Henri] Then go away." " But" "Kitty, what on earth are you doing here?" "I thought you'd gone back." "Of all the times to-- Well, what do you want, anyway?" " Well, I certainly didn't wanna come here." " Then go away." "I've got something to tell you first, and you're not going to like it." " What is it?" " I've just been on the phone." "The colonel gave orders you're to leave for Heidelberg in 20 minutes." " You're kidding." " The whole outfit's been alerted to go back to America." " To America?" "Well, they're not going right away." " Well, I don't know." "Then we don't have to leave tonight." "Maybeyou don't, but Catherine does." "Those are orders." " When do I have to report?" " Not until morning." "Then we stay here tonight, and fly back and report in the morning." " Orders." " You could tell the colonel you couldn't find us." "He beatyou to it." "He said ifl tried to pull that one, we'd both be sorry." " Oh!" " Cathy, I'm in a spot." "So areyou." "You've got to get working on Henri's passport, or he won't be able to sail with you." "Henri, we're dead." "Well, this is a fine wedding night!" "You can find a place to stay in Heidelberg." "It's better than nothing." " What doyou mean, nothing?" " You better start packing." "You've only got 20 minutes." " How do we get back from here?" " Plane to Frankfurt." "There'll be a jeep there." " Seeyou later." " Orders are I'm to stickwith you until you get to Heidelberg." " Orders." " Orders?" "Uh" "Orders." "Theywouldn't do this in the French army." "Poor Henri." " Uh-oh." "Want me to wait foryou?" " What doyou mean, wait?" " What, all night?" " I don't think it's going to be that long." "Uh" " What kind oftrouble areyou dreaming up now?" "I just noticed whereyou're going." "It says "B.O.Q."" " Oh, no." " That means bachelor officers' quarters, Henri." "I don't care what it means." "That is where I live, and that's where I'm going to take mywife." "But it's against regulations." "Who cares anything about regulations at a time like this?" "Besides, I know the sergeant on the desk, and he always looks the" "He's a very nice fellow." "Comes from Tulsa, Oklahoma." "Driver, please take Lieutenant Lawrence home." "Good night, Kitty." " Good night, Henri." " Come along, Catherine." " But, Henri, I" " Now, please." " Good night, Kitty." " Good night, Catherine." " Hope it works." " Leave it to me." "[ CarDrives Off]" "[Doorbell Buzzes ]" " It's just us, Kitty." " Shh!" " B.O.Q means bachelor officers' quarters." " I told you it did" "And after that, we went to six hotels." "They're all against" "No military personnel-- What's the matterwith you?" "Billings is on the couch, and Thompson and Kay are in the bedroom." " What are they doing here?" " Sleeping." " Oh, no." " Come on, Catherine." " Where, Henri?" " I don't know, but since the beginning ofthe world... man has always found a place for his mate, even ifit was a cave." "Well, tonight mankind's a flop." "You haven't got a cave." "You haven't even got a bed." "It's 3:00 in the morning, and it's mywedding night... and my feet hurt, and I couldn't walk another step." "Yes, darling, yes." "Well, doyou want to sleep here?" "No." "I mean, yes, but I wantyou to sleep here too." "Well, you can bunk up with me, and he can sleep in the bathroom." " Sitting up?" " It's not so bad." " I slept in a bathtub once." " On yourwedding night?" "No." "I'll getyou some blankets and a pillow." "Come along." "Oh, Henri, how could it turn out like this?" "I'd always planned us to have a wonderful" "I know." "I know, darling." "Come on." "There's the bathroom there." "Good night, Henri." " Here's your pillow and blankets." " Good night, dear." "Good night." "Oh, everything's wrong." "Now I can't wear my new nightgown." "There isn't even any rice" " Maybe Kitty has some mothballs." " Good night, Henri." "I don't think it's funny, not a bit... with me in one room and you in a bathtub." "Yes, dear." "Well, never mind." " Good night, darling." " Yeah, good night." "And don't cry." "I'll be all right." "I'll be quite comfortable." "I'll just turn on the cold water." "[ Sniffles ]" " [Banging] - [ Grunts ]" "[ Moans ]" "[ Sighs ]" "Hmm." "Oh, come on, Henri." "Hurry up." "We've got a lot ofthings to do." "Iam hurrying, just as fast as I can go." "Well, straighten up." "You look like a question mark." " Oh!" "Thankyou." " There." "That's better." "[ Sighs ] What a place to put a faucet." " Where?" " In the middle of my back." "It is unusual." "Well, cheer up, dear." "At least tonight you'll have a bed to sleep on." "Well, that's just it." "Catherine, I don't mean to sound cranky... but this situation is so unnatural." "I'll be at B.O.Q and you'll be sleeping miles away... all because the United States Army" "We haven't got time to look for another place today." "We've got to see the American consul." "Come on, silly." " What areyou doing in the gutter?" " Where else would I be?" "Now, I know it's very important and you're in a hurry... but it's not gonna be easy." "Take the matter of support." "Captain, have you any money in the United States?" " No." " And the laws ofyour country... forbid you taking anything but a nominal amount with you." "Yes, I'm afraid that's right." "Then a visitor's visa would doyou no good." "You couldn't take a job." "And unless yourwife can prove... that she's able to supportyou, you couldn't get a permanent visa." "Catherine isn't going to support me, so is there any other kind ofvisa?" "What about the French quota?" "The French quota's completely filled up for this year and next." " Well, what'll we do?" " I was wondering... if public law 271 would apply." "That's the one regulating the immigration ofwar brides." "Catherine doesn't have to immigrate." "She's an American citizen." "I was thinking ofyou as the bride." "[ Chuckles ] That's a pretty good imagination you have there." "It says spouses." "Doesn't mention sex." "I'm convinced the American army doesn't believe in it." "This is gonna work." "Yes, I think this is gonna work." " Well, sure, it will." "Say, this is wonderful." " What's so wonderful?" "It says spouses means mates." "Doesn't say anything about male or female." " We're mates, aren't we?" " [ Chuckles ] I reallywouldn't know." "You're a spouse ofa member ofthe American expedition forces." "Therefore, you're eligible to travel..." " under section 271 as her bride." " As her bride?" " No, Henri, please." " As your bride?" " Oh, Henri, it'll be fun." " But isn't it ridic" "Of course it is, darling, but it'll work." "You'll see." "It's the onlyway." "Here's the application right here." "I am not going to travel as her bride." "And besides, her name's Rochard." "Excuse me, Captain Rochard, but officially, it's still Gates." "Not at all." "Officially, it is Rochard." " I have three wedding certificates to prove it." " Henri." "I don't care." "Rochard." "Rochard." "Pay no attention to him, Mr.Jones. What do we have to do?" "Hereyou fill outyour name, rank, organization, yourwife's maiden name." " She hasn't got a wife." "Just for the time being." " Haveyou got a wife?" " No, dear." "But it's only a piece of paper." " Well, then you" " Well, obviously these applications... are intended for the husband to fill in." "Oh, well, I can write." "I can write." " Yes, we know, dear." "You can write." " No, this doesn't apply toyou." "You'll just have to make the proper adjustments." " What?" " On these papers." " You want to go, don'tyou?" " What?" "I tell you, Henri, it's the onlyway." "Just hand those over to the immigration officerwhen you've filled them out." " Thankyou, Mr.Jones." " But, Catherine" "It'll be simple." "You'll see." "On the contrary, the process ofturning a man into a woman... is enormously complicated." " But I'll do my best." "Thankyou." "Good day." " Good day." " Good-bye." " Good-bye." "Just a moment." "Brides first, please." " Oh, I beg your pardon." " That's all right." "Hello, Henri." " Well, nothing happened." " Hasn't it comeyet?" "I wonder ifthe application even arrived." "I handed it to the immigration officer myselffirst thing this morning." "Henri, braceyourself." "I'm leaving." " Ourwhole outfit leaves tonight." " Tonight?" "Oh, well, that does it." "We're cooked." " The application will come this afternoon." "It's got to." " It won't." "Oh, you'll see." "You'll go, and I'll sit here wondering which sex I am." "What a marriage." "Solitary confinement." "Separate rooms." "I've never been so lonely in my life." " Ifl have to leaveyou, I'll shoot myself." " Shoot me too." "I'm" " I think this is it." "It came to the office." " Thankyou, Kitty." "[ Muttering ]" "At last." ""Dear madame"?" "Oh, yes, that's me." ""Following application ofyour husband--" that's you" ""you are informed that permission to enter the United States... as a war bride has been granted."" " I gotta get back." "I'll see you later." " Thanks, Kitty." " I'm so happy." "Kiss me." " We've got time now." "That can wait." " Or maybe it can't." " Oh, no, darling." "No, no, Henri." "Please, the letter." ""Please fill in attached form and bring to this--"" "Another form." "Will they ever run out offorms?" " Hmm." "Hmm." " [ Chuckles ]" "I won't." "I won't answer those questions." " Oh." "Well, Henri, this isn't so bad." " I won't answer those questions." " You've got to." " I won't!" " You don't wanna stay, do you?" " No." " Then you've got to answer them." " How can I?" "You can, Henri, and perhaps the man at the office will helpyou." " It wouldn't be possible." " Now, please, control yourself for once and be nice." " How can you answer a single" " Everything will be all right." "Be sure and read them over on the way down." "Good-bye, Henri." "Good luck." " I tell you, there isn't another form." " I toldyou first." " This form isn't for a man." "It's for a woman." " Uh-huh." "On the other hand, ifyou don't get this form filled out and approved, you can't go." " That's right." " You mean I've got to use this form?" "Sergeant, I felt the same wayyou do... but ifthat's the only form, come on, let's fill it out." "Well, let's see." "Age and birthplace." "We've got all that." "Well, here's the first one." "Areyou an expectant mother?" "Uh-huh." "Yes." "How many months?" "Twenty." "Twenty." "Twenty months." "Any" " Any female trouble?" "Nothing but, Sergeant." "[ Groans ]" "And... haveyou ever had any children before?" "Oh, my aching back." "You know that awful feeling before breakfast?" " No, Captain, I don't." " Oh, Sergeant, you're lucky." "Captain, this doesn't make any sense." "I know, but come on." "We gotta fill it out." "Ask me another." "There's some good ones coming up." "[Woman OverP.A.] Attention, please." "Attention, please." "Will Mrs. Milton come to the desk, please." "You take seat 1 8 in bus number three." "All right, Mrs. Rochard..." " you take seat 1 9 in bus number three." " Thankyou." " Wait a minute!" "You're not Mrs. Rochard." " I'm Mr. Rochard." "It's yourwife who must report here for transportation to Bremerhaven." " According to the war department, I am mywife." " You can't beyourwife!" "Ifthe American army says that I can be mywife, who am I to dispute them?" " This is all wrong." " Major, foryour information, I am a war bride." " A war bride?" " Yeah." " Well, I'm slightly confused." " I don't blameyou... but the official wording says I am "an alien spouse..." ""offemale military personnel en route to the United States... under public law 271 ofthe congress."" "This is a strange situation, but I suppose it's perfectly legal." " Yes, it is." " Well, um, Mrs. Roch" " I mean, Mr. Rochard... it won't be necessary foryou to stop at the, uh, nurse's desk." " No?" " No." "Oh." "[Woman OverP.A. ] Attention, please." "Will allpassengers be sure to have theirbaggage checked before boarding the buses." "Will all passengers be sure to have their baggage checked... before boarding the buses." "Will Mrs. Turner-- Mrs. Turner please come to the desk." "Will Mrs. Turner please come to the desk." "[ Baby Cryi ng ]" "He's cryi ng, the baby." " I s that what he's doi ng?" " He wants water, yes?" "I wouldn't know, madame." "When I want water, I have a different way of asking for it." " He is a baby." "You are a man." " Thanks." "I'll get him some water." "You hold the baby, please." " Well, I" " No, no, I" " I'll only be a minute." " But I don't know anything about-- - [ Crying ]" "Oh, my good" " Yes, yes, yes." " [ Crying ]" " Yes, yes, yes." " Yes, yes." " [ Stops Crying ]" "Attention, please." "Ladies, please stop moving about and staywhere you are till I finish." "Ladies, you are now on the first leg ofyourjourney... to the United States as guests ofthe army." "Arrangements have been made foryour comfort... in Bremerhaven at the dependents'hotel." "You'll be able to get anythingyou need at the P.X. there... such as lipstick, hair nets, garter belts... foundation garments and so forth." "Now, a lot ofyou have asked me about the newest styles in the good old U.S.A." " Well, hair's being worn shorter, close to the head." " Oh." "Skirts are long, ofcourse, and rather hippy with that full-blown look." "The trend is to the natural bustline and" "[ Chuckles ] between us, girls, looking around the room..." "I don 't think any ofyou need to worry." "Now, ifyou'lljust move out in order, the buses are ready." "Happyjourney, ladies." "[ Cryi ng ]" "U h" " Wel l, he has to be here somewhere." " I know." " Oh, look." "Oh, look!" " Oh, no." "Oh, no." " Ah, Henri, you look so maternal." " What is that?" " A human fire extinguisher." "You wanna try it?" " Oh, come on." " Oh, he's cute." "What's his name?" " Niagara." " Henri, what a thing to do." " Where's the mother?" " She went to get more water." " She ought to get a plumber." " Henri, you've got to get out ofhere." " How can we when we still" " There's the mother." " Thankyouso much." "I'm sorry." " Let's get going." " Oh, darling." "[Woman OverP.A. ] Mr. Rochard!" "Mr. Rochard!" "Yourseat in the bus has been changed." "You're sitting with the driver." "Oh, no." "I thought I 'd be able to sit with you." "You can't." "Kitty and I are flying to Bremerhaven." " What?" " The whole outfit's going that way." " Oh, no!" " I'll be there to meetyou when you come in." "Will you try to arrange things so that we can be together in Bremerhaven?" " I hope so, Henri." "I'll try." " Well, ifyou don't, I won't sit with the driver." " You want me to carry that?" " No, thankyou." "Oh." "All right." " Darling, was it bad?" " Oh, 30 women." "With the exception ofyou, dear, I may never talkwith another one again as long as I live." " Poor Henri." " Let's get away from here." " Where areyou staying?" "Where do we go?" " You don't, Henri." " I don't?" "Butyou mean you couldn't fix it?" " Theywouldn't hear of it." "I'm in building 1 1 across town, and you stay here." " But isn't there any chance?" " I've argued for an hour, darling." "Oh, well, I'm learning what it is to be a soldier's wife." "I know, dear." "I feel the same way." "Tomorrow night on the boat, everything will be different." "To make things worse, I've gotta go now." "Come on, Kitty." "I'll meetyou on the dock in the morning." " Get a good night's sleep." " That's all I've been getting." " Hello, Henri." "Good-bye, Henri." " Hello." "Good-bye." "Hello." "Good-bye." "[Woman ] Putyourname andaddress on the list." "You understand there'll be a little wait for transportation... because we've got a lot ofpeople to attend to." "But ifyou'lljust fill out that form and bring it back here, I'll see ifl can help." "I 'm sorry, si r." "Visiti ng hours are over." "You can come and see your wife tomorrow." "My wife will have to visit me tomorrow." "I am billeted here." " You are?" " Yes." "But you can't" " Lieutenant." "There must be some mistake." "No mistake." "I am an alien spouse offemale military personnel... en route to the United States under public law 271 ofthe congress." " Good grief." " The manifest calls for 1 39 war brides... 1 26 children ofwar brides, nine dogs ofwar brides... three cats, two canaries, one parrot" " Oh, yes, here you are." " Then me." "You must have been added later." "One war bride, male." " Is that you?" " That's me." " Well, now, there's a problem." " Why?" " Because you can't stay here." " I have to stay here." " I am billeted here." " Well, ifyou insist." "But we already have from three to ten women in every room." "To say nothing ofthe dogs and cats." "I mean, you can't stay here." "I can't stay here, huh?" "I think the place foryou is the officers' billet in the staging area." " It won't be halfas interesting." " It's just down the street... the third building on the left." "Thankyou." "Thankyou very much." "Oh, yeah." "Thankyou." "I'm sorry." " Hello." " Hello." "I supposeyou wonder what I want here." "Well, I will ifyou want me to." "I'm an alien spouse offemale military personnel... en route to the United States under public law 271 ofthe congress." " Huh?" " I am a war bride." "No kiddin'." "That's interesting." "Would it interestyou enough to give me a bed?" " Oh, you can't sleep here, Mac." " Why not?" " Areyou an American officer?" " No." "That's whyyou can't sleep here." "You go to the dependents' hotel." "I have just come from the dependents' hotel." " You mean the one here in Bremerhaven?" " Mm-hmm." "I mean the one down at the staging area." "I'm afraid I'm much too tired to walk all that distance." "Well, suityourself, Mac, butyou can't sleep here." "Uh, yeah." "Well, there must be a bed that isn't being used." " You must have a bed." "Where is it?" " Right across the street." " Well, uh" " Mywife's in it, and you can't" "No, no, of course not." "Yes." "Quite right." "Naturally." "Well, it's" "Oh, brother." " Right down this way." " This is awfully kind ofyou, Sergeant." "I'm a private, mister, butyou gotta sleep somewhere, even ifyou ain't in the army." "You won't get into any trouble, will you?" "What are they gonna do, bust a private to a civilian?" " This ain't the Ritz, but it ought to do." " It's fine." "I'm grateful to find a friend likeyou." " Tell me, where doyou live in the United States?" " Brooklyn." " I'll lookyou up when I get there." " Get a good sleep." "Thankyou." "[ Sighs ]" "Hey." "Hey!" " No, no, no, thankyou." " Wake up." " No, no, no." "Not now, thankyou." " What areyou doin'here?" "Oh, I had a feeling." "I am an alien spouse offemale military personnel... en route to the United States under public law 271 ofthe congress." "Well, why aren'tyou at the dependents' hotel?" "I am writing a book about that." "You see, I'm not a woman." "That's too bad." "But I tell you one thing, friend" " You can't sleep here." " Can't sleep here." "You will note, I have not taken off my clothes in anticipation ofthat." " Where will I go?" " I don't know, butyou" " Can't sleep here." " That's right." "We're agreed." "Where will I go?" "Well, there's only one place left, and that's a German hotel." " Butyou're a dependent, aren'tyou?" " Mm-hmm." "And as a dependent, you come under military law... and all the German hotels are out ofbounds." " Where will I go?" " I don't know, mister." "I'm sorry, but there's an army rule." " And you can't sleep here." " Can't sleep here." "Beg your pardon." " Where will you go?" " I don't know." "It's a shame." "Because ifwe was in Brooklyn... you could've slept with the old man." "Hiya." "Oh." "Hi." " What can I do foryou?" " Well, uh" "I'm looking for a place to sleep." "Can you help me?" "Afraid not." "Nothing but women sleeping' in there." "Yeah, I know." "Building 1 1." "Mywife's in there." " A lot of people's wives are in there." " Yeah." "Haveyou ever noticed that women always get a place to sleep?" "I wonderwhy that is." "Well, I suppose it's because they're the weaker sex." "I don't believe it." "I believe they're stronger." "And doyou know why?" "Because they get enough sleep, that's why." "I am sorry I can't help you." "[ Chuckles ] Well, very kind ofyou, Corporal." "Good night." "You from Brooklyn?" "Yonkers." "What are those?" "Good night, buddy." "I am an alien spouse offemale military personnel en route to the United States... under public law 271 ofthe congress... and I've been everywhere in town looking for a place to sleep." "You poor man." "Well, you can't stay here." "This is a female building." "It is?" "[ Mutters ]" "Anotherwoman's building." "You know, I've come to the conclusion... that American men don't sleep." "Well, not in this building." "I was wondering ifthere'd be any objection to my sitting here for a while." "You could sort ofimagine I'm waiting for something." "Well, it all depends on what you imagineyou'rewaiting for." "I'm sure I don'twant to send you out on a night like this." "That's very kind." "That's nice." "Tell me, what part ofthe United States doyou come from?" " Boston, up in Massachusetts." " Massachu-chu-chu" "Right." "Is there a place called Yonkers?" " Sure." "It's in New York." " Oh." "I was wondering." "Well, I'm-- I'm a little mixed up." " May I hold that foryou?" " Oh, thanks." "[ Sighs ] You see, I just got married." "Well, where's yourwife?" "Oh, she's in anotherfemale building." "Building 1 1." " And you couldn't find a bed anywhere?" " No" " Well, almost." "There was, uh-- There was one in Brooklyn..." " and another one with a woman in it." " A woman?" " He was a very disagreeable man." " Who was?" "Her husband." "Yeah, it would've been nicer in Brooklyn." " With the husband?" " No." "The old man." "You are tired, aren'tyou?" " There he is." "I'll seeyou on the boat." " Okay." "Pardon me." "Excuse me." "Pardon me." "Oh, darling, I was afraid you'd missed the last bus." " Oh, sailor, could you take these bags, please?" " All right." "Thankyou." "Henri-- Henri, you look awful." " What haveyou been doing?" " I've been sitting up all night with a redhead." " What?" " Knitting." " What?" " You ought to see me purl." " Oh, you ought to see her purl." " What areyou talking about?" "[Man OverP.A.] Attention allpassengers." "Please get on boardas soon as possible-- as soon as possible, please." " I 'd like to show you how to do that sometime." " We gotta go." " Got your papers?" " What?" " Have you got your papers?" " They're right there." "Listen, darling." "All we have to do is get aboard the ship." "Remember, no back talk, no argument." "Just keepyour temper." "Promise?" " I promise." " All right." "Come on." "You've been to the navypersonnel." "They'll clearyou through." "Here's your boarding card." "Your orders, please, Lieutenant." "Thankyou." " Lieutenant Gates." " Right." " Here's your boarding card, Lieutenant." " Thankyou." " Surely." " What doyou want, mister?" " I want to go aboard." " I'm sorry." "This ship is forwar brides and a few" "I know." "I know, Sergeant." "Here are my orders." "Haveyou got a Rochard on your list?" " Yeah, a Mrs. Henri Rochard." " That's me." " You're not a woman." " We don't want you." "We want yourwife." "You can't have mywife." "That's one thing I'm particular about." " Henri." " Oh, yes, Catherine, I'll remember." "There's been a slight misunderstanding, gentlemen." "My name is Henri Rochard." "Henri." "Haveyou ever heard ofa woman called Henri?" "I'm tryin' to think." "You know a lot of dames, Sam." " I know a Billie." " I don't know any." "Maybe he's right." " You see, I am a war bride." " What?" " This is mywife." " [ Both ] Oh." "It's a very natural mistake." "You're not the first to have made it." "Now, if my papers are in order, may I go aboard?" "I guess we'll have to let him go on." " Here's your boarding card." " Thankyou." "Good day." " Good day." " Good day." "You were wonderful, Henri." "I knew ifyou keptyour temper, everything would be all right." " I thought I behaved quite well." " Oh, you did." "May I seeyour orders, please?" " Stateroom B-1 4, Lieutenant." " Thankyou." "How'd you get up here?" "This ship is forwar brides and military personnel." "Yes, yes, I know." "My name is Rochard." "You'll think I'm a bride, but actually, I'm a husband." "There'll be a moment or two of confusion..." " but ifwe all keep our heads, everything will be fine." " I don't think itwill." " I've got a Mrs. "Rotcherd" on my list." " Rochard!" "She's in A-88 with two other brides and three children." " Oh, well, that, of course, will have to be altered." " Not by me it won't." "I have just explained everything to the army." "They understood." "They passed me." "The army understood, and they passed you." "Oh, that's fine." "That's just dandy." "Did you hear that?" "The army understood, and they passed him." "This is the navy, bud." " My friend, I have had weeks of the United States Army, and" " Henri." "and I'm quite prepared to take on the United States Navy." "And the United States Navy's quite prepared to take you on, mister." "Hey, fellas, get this guy out ofhere." "Just a minute." "Haveyou heard of a woman called Henri?" "Yeah." "Henrietta." "Powell Street." "San Francisco." "Take him." " No, no, no." "No." "Never mind." "Never mind." " Get goin'." "All right, I'm going." "Just go on aboutyour business." "Henri, you shouldn't have lost yourtemper." "Where areyou going?" "I'm going someplace to change back into a man." " I'm tired ofbeing my own wife." " You can't give up now." " Well, make them give up." "Someone has to." " Listen, will you?" "Once on board that ship, everything will be over, and you'll be a man forever." " Now, it's worth a try, isn't it, darling?" " How can we?" " Well, Henri, I don't know" " Lieutenant, would you take this bag for me?" " I left something on the bus." " I'll have someone put it in the mess hall foryou." " Now, what wereyou saying?" " Henri, doyou love me?" " Of course I loveyou." " And you'll make one more try to get aboard that boat?" " Ifyou say so." " You promise?" " I promise." " And you'll keep it?" " I promised, didn't I?" " All right." "Come on." "Here." "Hold these." "Whoa, boy." "Whoa." "Nah, that won't do." "Oh, here's a better one here." "Whoa, boy." "Whoa, fella." " What areyou doing?" " Come on, Henri." "Lean down." "Lean down close." "I wanna see somethin'." "Uh-huh." "That goes perfect." " With what?" " Give meyour knife." "You're not going to-- I won't do it." " This will make a perfectly good wig." " I won't do it." " And we've got the clothes right here." " Catherine, I will not do it." " But, Henri, you said you loved me." " Well, I'm not so sure now." " And you promised." "Give meyour knife." " [Ship Whistle Blows ]" "Come on, Henri." "There's not much time." "This is ridiculous." "Catherine, can'tyou at least cut it offthe mane?" "Henri, you're taking this much too personally." "Now, stand so no one can see what I'm doing." "Mmm, a little tough." "Hmm." "Won't be so bad when I getyour bangs rolled." "Wanna seewhatyou look like?" "Horrible." "I don't think I'll be called upon to defend my honor." " I doubt it." " It's a pity." " I wonder ifsome lipstickwould help." " Oh, no." " Well, why not?" " I'm more the outdoor type." "Sea Biscuit." "Bang Tail." "You know?" "Oh, silly, hold still." "Let me roll these." "Oh, wait a minute." "I forgot somethin'." "Can you talk like a woman?" " [ High-pitched ] You mean like this?" " Can'tyou do betterthan that?" " [ Own Voice] No." "Just remember" " Keepyour mouth closed." "Not a word." "Leave everything to me." "And keepyour head down." "Oh, sailor, would you put this in the mess hall for me, please?" " Sure, Lieutenant." " Thankyou." " Wait a moment." " [ WolfWhistle ]" "Hey, did you hear that?" "I must look pretty good." " Don't be silly." "That was for me." " Foryou?" " Of course." " I ought to punch him in the nose." " Henri, remember, you're a lady." " Oh, yeah, yeah." " We have our boarding cards." "We've been up before." " Go ahead." "I don't remember that tall one, Sam." " It's hard to believeyou could forget a face like that." " Yeah." "Lieutenant Gates." "B-1 4." "I was up before." "Oh, yes." "Your orders, please." "Say, that's funny." "Rochard." "Why aren't you listed among the military personnel, Lieutenant?" "Saveyourvoice." "You'll have to excuse her." "She has laryngitis." " Now, what wereyou saying?" " Why isn't the lieutenant listed among military personnel?" " Well, you see, shewas just married." " Married?" "That may be, but" "Hey, Red." "Come here." " What's the trouble?" " This lieutenant is listed as a missus." "Why'd they putyou down as mi" "How doyou do?" " Why'd they putyou down as missus instead oflieutenant?" " She has laryngitis." "They possibly didn't list her as lieutenant because ofher husband." " Who'd she marry?" " Admiral Rochard." " Who?" " Admiral Rochard." "The name is familiar, but I don't remember it connected with an admiral." "You never heard ofher husband?" "Hewon't like that." "Florence, ifl wereyou, I wouldn't say a word about this." "Sure." "You heard ofhim, Red." "Admiral Rochard." "Sure." "Oh, yeah, yeah." "Maybe I have." "All right." " Stateroom A-88, Lieutenant." " Getyour instructions in the mess hall." "Thanks so much." "Come, Florence." "First time I ever felt sorry for an admiral." "Gams aren't bad." "Now I'm beginning to feel sorryforyou." " In here, please." " We were just going" " Please, Lieutenant." "Your instructions first." " Come on, Florence." " I don't like that name Florence." " Oh, shut up." " Kitty." " I've been waiting" " Shh." " Oh, no." "Stand on the other side so they can't see so well." "This was the onlyway." "Theywouldn't let him" " Henri, duck down." " I can hear quite well." " You're too tall." "Duck down." " He looks awful." " I didn't have much to workwith." "I don't see how I could get him aboard." "You got a room where we can put him?" "I've got a room, but theywouldn't let a thing like that in." "We gotta hide him somewhere till we can change his clothes and the boat sails." " What about the linen" " No, and the men's room won't do either." " Somebody's spotted him already." " What?" "We need a nurse." "It's an emergency." "Will you come with me, please?" " I'm a nurse?" " Come along, please." "I hadn't counted on this." "[Ship Whistle Blows ]" " It's very lucky they found a nurse." " What's the matter?" " Mywife's expecting' a baby." " What?" "Oh, no!" " No." "It isn't a very convenient time, is it?" " You can say that again." " It isn't a very convenient time, is it?" " No." "No, it isn't." "No." "Oh, gee." "I wonder ifthe baby will be a girl." " I'll be grateful ifit's a baby." " You will?" "Oh, you're very kind." "Gosh, I" " I wish I knew what was going on in there." " Oh, you won't have long to wait." " I won't?" "Oh, gee whiz." "Gosh, I" " I don't think I can stand this." " You got a bigger shock coming." " I have?" "Mm-hmm." " The lieutenant got a little dizzy." " Thankyou." " I'll take care ofher." "I'll getyou some water, dear." " Pardon me." " Oh, this is the father, Florence." " How doyou do?" " Is it a boyora... girl-- - [ Sighs ]" "Oh, no!" "What happened to hi" "Well, ifit isn't Florence, huh?" "Arrest that man." " It's all right, Henri." "The ship has sailed." " Hmm?" "Come along." "Come on, Flo." "Florence." "Mr. Rochard, maywe come in?" "I don't see how I can stopyou." "The key's on the outside." "Thankyou." "Henri, this is Lieutenant Perkins and CommanderWillis." "The commander's the chaplain." "Chaplain?" "Oh, no, no." "No, nothin' doing." "I'm sorry, Chaplain." " Nothing doing what?" " No more marriages." "It isn't worth it." " I'm not gonna marry her again, Chaplain." " Why, Henri." "I don't think that'll be necessary." "We've got thewhole thing straightened out." "I'm sorry about the mix-up, sir, butyour case was a little unusual." "You see, you're an alien spouse offemale military personnel... en route to the United States under public law 271 ofthe congress." " Am I now?" " Yes, and under the circumstances..." " the captain would like to forget the whole thing." " [ Chuckles ]" "Don'tyou understand, dear?" "You're free." "You can go now." " Where?" " Anywhere on the ship." "We've gotyou bunked in with one ofthe officers." "He doesn't mind." "I think he would mind." "He wouldn't like that at all." " You see, I snore terribly." " Why, Henri, you don't snore." " How would you know I don't?" " Oh." "Couldn't we do something simple?" "Couldn't I just stay here?" " Well, I" " I suppose that" " I don't see why not." "Well, thankyou." "That's very nice." "You've been a great help." "Good night." "Thankyou very much." "All right." "Mm-hmm." " You wouldn't." " Yes, I would." "I believeyou would." "Henri, how will we ever get out ofhere?" "I'm not gonna worry about that until the Statue of Liberty goes by that porthole."