"How much is a hamburger and a coffee?" "Forty-five pence" "Forty-five, yes." "See you tomorrow." "You've got to make the most of what life offers you." "Life isn't meant to be easy." "Not for anybody." "Ok, some of us might start out with more than others." "More... advantages, you might say" "That's not the main item." "It's basically every man for himself." "Take the two of us for instance." "What did we start with, what did we do with ourselves?" "Well for a start there's my O Levels - two!" "Ah!" "There's a fair advantage you might say." "But I worked for them." "You see, that's what you and I have in common." "Not the O Levels..." "the advantages, eh?" "The little supports that help us along life's weary way." "Let's face facts, Earl, we've had our fair share of advantages." "Like for instance, you had a nice warm country... money, big house, girls, big horse," "And I bet you had a lot of nice curries up at that Kandahar, eh?" "Nicely done, Earl!" "Wait a minute, here." "I don't see too many O Levels there, Earl old son!" "How did you do it?" "And why don't I have a job?" "!" "Oy!" "Get on yer bike!" "I'm trying to sleep here!" "Come on, clear off!" "Go on!" "You've got the DC amp px135 quadraphonic progression for quadraphonic speakers" "And you've got the wattage metres built in at the start, so..." "How much is that?" "Including the pre-amp, that'll be £740." " And what about the FM tuner with the..." " Automatic phase tracker?" "Aye, the automatic phase tracker." "That would be another £460 and you've got the basic setup for a first-rate system..." "Eh?" " The basics..." " Oh, the basics" "If you took the Elite speakers I could give you the lot for, say, £1080." " Have you got a cigarette?" " Aye, certainly." "Thanks." "You're tempting me, but I want to think about it." "I want to think about that..." "automatic..." " Phase tracker." " Aye, phase tracker." "Tell you what, I'll pop in on Friday and let you know." "Thanks a lot." "That big speaker and the wee phase tracker's magic." "My dad only needs it on Saturday so it's mine all week." " I've got to buy my own petrol though." " Really?" " Aye, it's 20 miles to the gallon in town." " That's tough..." "Are you working yet?" "That's tough too." "Ah, well, things are tough all over." "Aye." "I have to scoot now." "See you!" "Och, come on!" "Where are you going?" "I'm going for a walk." "I'll see you later, eh?" "I'll get it fixed in a minute!" "Sit down!" " It's not that, I just..." " I won't be a minute!" "See you later, Ronnie." "The rain's definitely going off, eh?" "Sure is." "A good shower really cleans the place up." "It makes the world sparkle." "Sure does..." "Did you have a good day?" " Very enjoyable." " Same here, very, very enjoyable." "Me too." "In the park, mostly." "It's miserable isn't it?" "Yeah." "I tried to kill myself today." "Just after you left, Wal." "I took a mouthful of cornflakes and milk and held my nose shut." "I tried to drown myself in cornflakes and milk!" "If you want to kill yourself, what you do is... stand somewhere wet, get yourself a good earth, then plug yourself into the mains." "That was what I was gonna do." "Woof!" "No, I think the best way is out a window." "Really high up." "I was going to try that up at the high flats, but the lifts were stuck." "Couldn't be bothered climbing 400 stairs." "Christ, you'd be fit for nothing by the time you got to the top." "There's got to be more to life than committing suicide." "There's gotta be something." "Got to be some way out." "Hey, the rains going off, eh?" "Ah, beat it, eh?" "Are you's coming down the road then?" " You going?" " Aye..." "Don't you think it's time you traded that in for something with wheels?" "Right." "Sorry I had to drag you all out on such a cold night, lads, but now we're all here... well, Ronnie wants to say something." "I've got a lot to say, boys." "But I've just got one key word to say first of all." "Sink!" "No, no!" "Get up." "Let me put it another way, eh." "We are sitting on a gold mine." "Or should I say a steel mine?" "A stainless steel mine!" "Look..." "what's this area famous for?" "What's it well known for?" "Drunks!" "Muggers!" "Multiple social deprivation!" "Sinks!" "Stainless steel sinks!" "Hundreds of them up at Martins' warehouse!" "Sinks worth a fortune!" "You mean where I used to work?" " Aye..." " We mean where you used to work!" "The sinks come at £60 a piece." "In an hour we can shift 80 or 90 in to a van." "60 x £90, that's over £100!" "Where will we get a van?" "Vic's mate's a van boy, he's gonna fix it with him." " Any cornflakes?" " No..." "Sugar Puffs?" "We need a modus exper..." "A modo opper..." "You mean a modus operandi?" "No, we need a way to get in!" "Wal, put yer shoes on!" "Decoys, 2 guys dressed up as cleaning ladies to take care of the night watchman." "We can get wigs, make-up, a dress..." "I'll be one of them!" "Good idea Vic" "We need some inside information." "Alec, where did you work before you got the sack?" "Accounts department." "It was unfair dismissal!" "It was no ma fault, rotten computer!" "Okay men, back to work." "Keep thinking, this job's gonna be perfect." "It's gonna be a work of art." "We're gonna be rich." "We still need more guys though." "Vic, get the van fixed up." "You sure you've no cornflakes?" "Alec, remember all you can about the layout... doors, windows, anything." "Draw a plan." "Wal, check the night watchman." "See where he spends the night." "Check out his routine." "What else?" "4 or 5 more people with skill, courage and determination!" " Morning rolls?" " 10 dozen." " Jam sponges?" " No." " Bradies?" " No." " Pancakes?" " No." " Coffee buns?" " Dozen." " Harris buns?" " No" " Small Alberts?" " No" " Chocolate doughnuts?" " Dozen." " Iced doughnuts?" " No." " Sugar doughnuts?" " No." " Apple turnovers?" " Dozen." " Madeira cake?" " No." "Angel cake?" " Ginger slabs?" " No." "Albert slabs?" " Dozen." "What's up?" "Got something important to tell you, Bobby." "We can't talk here, we'll go somewhere quiet." " I can't leave the shop." " Just a couple of minutes..." " Sultana cake?" " No." " Cream cookies?" " No." " Apple slab?" " Two." "What do you think?" " Well?" " Sorry, I couldn't hear you!" " Small trifles?" " No." " Large trifles?" " No." "It's a big job." "Local..." "High class goods." "Fool-proof entry." "We want a lookout." "Plus someone that can handle alarms." "For God's sake, it's like a public park here!" "Let's get somewhere quiet." "This place is magic in the summer." "So, a good alarm man is what we need." "One circuit does the whole place, as far as we know." "Then 1 or 2 good lookouts..." "One inside and one outside on the road." "We want people with skill, courage and determination." "What's up?" "It's quite choppy today, isn't it?" "Sorry to be a bother, Ronnie, but I'm not a good sailor." "I'm keen on the job though, it sounds fine." "I'll be fine if I was sick..." "Come in number 7, your time's up!" "Keep away from these swans, they're evil." "They can break your arm with their muzzles." " Beaks." " Aye, beaks..." "Ducks are no' so vicious though." "Hey, where's New York?" "3000 miles that way." " Where's Australia?" " 12000 miles that way." " Where's China?" " 5000 miles that way." "Ask me the capital of Ethiopia." "Okay, what's the capital of Ethiopia?" "Addis Ababa!" " What's 6 + 8?" " 14!" "Rubbish, no where near it!" " I am!" " Yer miles off it!" "No where near 14!" "One of us should talk to Simmy and give him the details." "Better tell him about the key to the warehouse door." "And the signal." "And to get the door back down really quick." "Where will he be?" "He's usually up at the Arts Centre." "He looks after the bees." "That's ideal for secret discussions." "It's up on the roof." "It's a good, quiet place to talk." " Right." " Right." " Who was that masked man?" " Search me." "Come on, yeah, come on..." "Coochie, coochie coo." "About the plan." "If I get the key from the watchman, we'll pass it on to the guy inside, the little guy." "He'll go to the back gate and tap out the signal." "3 taps." "The van goes in, the gate goes down again." "Really quick." "Ronnie'll show you what to take, just the sinks, nothing else." "What are you doing here!" "?" "What are you doing here, you idiot." "I came to tell Simmy just what you've been saying." "I'd forgotten about 2 taps." "It's a good job you remembered." "It's good to have you with us." "It's a big job but it's simple, and that's the beauty of it." "We're all gonna be rich." "Have you finished with this roll?" "Big, big money." "Capital for anything you want." "I'm gonna make you rich." " Two coffees and a roll?" " Yep." "57 pence, please." "Could you take care of the coffees?" "I've left my wallet in my other jacket." "I'll square you up later." "I'm sorry." "You're a screwball." "Big money, lots of capital, do what you want!" " You can't even buy me a coffee?" " I'm sorry." "How do you expect to do a robbery when you can't even buy me a coffee?" "That's why we're doing it." "We've no money just now." "Can't do a robbery without money, can you?" "I'm in the gang 2 minutes and I'm losing already!" "Okay lads, can I have your attention please." "A wee bit o' hush." "Attention!" "Will ye shut up and gimme your attention!" "Will ye shut up!" "Right lads, the boss wants a word with you." "Thanks." "I'd just like to say, you're doing a great job." "Keep up the good work." "Thanks!" "What does it do?" "Puts the alarm out of action, completely." "How does it work?" "You find the main fuse box inside the warehouse," "Yeah." " Locate the fuse for the alarm circuit." " Yeah." "Then you throw this box at it." " What's that?" " Gets the alarm system down." "Head up, swing your arms." "Come on Wal, stop mucking about." "I'm not mucking about!" "Aye, you are..." " No I'm not..." " We've got dresses to try on, and makeup." "I'm trying my best." "What else have we got to do?" "The clothes." "Have you got the clothes?" " Aye." "You?" " Aye." " Blue and red, eh?" " Aye." "How do you become a girl?" "Convince yourself first." " Tell yourself you're a girl." " How?" ""I'm a girl." Say it." "I'm a girl." "That's it." "Try Wal, it'll help." "I'm a girl!" "I'm a girl?" " Wal, try it." " No, I'm no saying that!" "I'm a girl, I'm a girl.." " You're an idiot!" " I'm a girl!" " You like this, don't you?" " No, ahh..." "I'm a girl..." " Try it and see..." " No, I'm no sayin' that!" " Wal, try it!" " No" "Oh, no... 3 week high-protein diet, in last week's Vanity Fair." "Is there anything worrying you?" "Are you quite happy?" "Well, there was 1 or 2 things I wanted to talk about." "Would you wear a brown skirt with a red top, a really deep red, kind of maroon with maybe grey tights?" "Vic, what's wrong with you?" "You're right, brown tights." "Needs to be brown tights." "What's up?" "Look Mary, it's good." "It'll bring us closer together." "We'll be able to share things..." "Talk about makeup and frocks, we can be real buddies." "I've got girlfriends for that." "It's meant to be different with you." "I know what I'm doing." "It'll work out fine." "Tell me, talk to me about it." "I'm just interested in girls." "I like them." "You don't have to BE one!" "Of course not!" "I'm a boy." "I'm a boy." "I'm a boy." "I want my lipstick back." "The one you took from my bag last night, remember?" "I'm still a good kisser, eh?" "What's going on, Vic?" " I'll tell you soon." " Tell me now!" "Soon!" "What do you fancy?" "I've set my heart on 10 days in Barbados." "Oh, very nice." "4-star hotel, full board, return flight for, er... just over 4 sinks." "It's no' bad!" "Look, for an extra sink you can get an African safari." "5 nights in Nairobi." "I dunno, it awfully difficult to choose." "Here, what are you gonna do with your sinks?" "I've got my eye on a lovely wee CSL." " Huh?" " Guitar, you know?" "Amplifier box, wow peddle." "I've even got the plectrum." "Show me." "Oh, aye, pretty good." "Give us a tune." "I don't wanna holiday in the sun, I wanna go to the new Belsen," "I'm a boy, I'm a boy." "Does it involve other boys?" "No, course not, it's just me." "How's Vicky?" "I've got my sister's shoes, she won't miss them for the weekend." "Not now Alec, later eh?" "There's a bigger brassiere, I could only get 36B but there's room in the straps, it'll fit you okay." "Have you got the lipstick for Wal?" "He said you'd get it for him." "He can't get lipstick, he said you'd get it." "You away, Mary?" "What about the tights, did you get the red ones?" "What about the van?" "Bobby's fine. 2 days notice is all he needs." "Everything's worked out." "15th floor." "Be here in a minute." "What's he gonna do?" "The driver always has tea." "He's gonna put something in it." "Knock him out, the van's his." " What's he gonna knock...?" " How are you, boys?" "What's he gonna knock him out with?" "Chemicals, a special mixture." "Bobby knows what he's doing." "Don't worry, it's guaranteed." "Is the van driver guaranteed to wake up again?" "Aye!" "Bobby knows the score." "Two days notice?" "That makes it Wednesday night." "Okay, tell the boys we hit Martins on Wednesday night." "Wednesday." "Tuesday." "Wednesday!" " Sure?" " Wednesday, Wednesday!" " But me a coffee, son?" " Wed..." "Ens..." "Day!" "It's Wednesday." "Pay attention lads." "We've got to know all these signals for the big night." "Number 1:" "Two arms across the chest is "start loading"." "Start loading!" "Start loading." "We'll do it again." "Start loading." "Start loading!" "So it's start loading?" "Do it again...." "Start loading." "Made good time today, Bob." "Only a few drops to do." "Should be finished pretty sharp." "Sleep like a log tonight." "What are you up to yourself?" "Wednesday?" "I go to night school." "Oh aye?" "What you learning?" " Chemistry." " Ah, just the man..." "Can you do love potions?" "Maybe." "Could you do one for my wife?" "Maybe." "Could you make her run away with someone else?" "!" "Ronnie!" "Ronnie!" "It's me!" "Don't jump, it's only me." "Davy, yah bastard yer." "You trying to kill me?" "Come on." "Sorry if I gave you a fright there, Ronnie." "It's an automatic reaction, comes with the training." "That's okay, I can appreciate that." "You've obviously got the reactions of a tiger." "How are you?" "Haven't seen you since we left school." "I'm fine, I'm fine." "You've grown a bit, you used to be about..." "I just sprouted in the past year." " You still play the violin?" " No!" "You working yourself?" "No!" "How's the gang?" "What gang?" "!" "I don't know any gangs." "If you're looking for a gang you got the wrong guy." "I don't know any gangs, honest!" " The boys!" " The boys?" " Aye, Simmy..." " Simmy?" " And Vic..." " Vic?" "And Wal..." "Is he still up to his daft old tricks?" "Remember he wanted us to break in to Aldo's cafe and steal all his cheese and onion crisps?" "That Wal's a bad 'un, and always has been." "No, we were just boys, daft boys." "Wanna see my whistle?" "Aye." "Name laddie!" "This is ma notebook." "Name!" "Ronnie Munro." "No fixed abode." "That's Glasgow G40, isn't it?" "I know you're not a bad lad." "Just mixing with the wrong crowd, that's all." "Do yourself a favour..." "Come on, take them off." "Christ, Ronnie, I seem to have lost the key." "You'd better come down the station to get a spare." "Tango 81 to base, Tango 81." "Please repeat." "That's 2 pounds of sugar and 1 pint of milk." "Over and out." "Look..." "relax!" "When they snapped shut," "I could see my whole life flash before my eyes." " It was horrible, Wal." " Och, you're safe now!" "Look, he rains going off as well." "We may get a good night for it." "Yer no excited?" "It's been hard work." "Yeah." "Everybody's been great." "I'm sorry it's gonna be over so soon." "If it works, you can do it again." "Another job?" "Why not?" "You might have a flair for it." "No." "I think I'll retire on my ill-gotten drains!" "Hey, cheers anyway, yeah?" "Right, I have to go." "Still got my hair to do!" "Stay cool, eh?" "See you later." "Give us a cup of tea will you, Bob?" "Don't you want to stop and have a proper one?" "Nah, we'll keep going and get finished early." "Have it your way." "Thanks." "Everything okay?" "Fine." "What's that?" "It's the driver." "I couldn't just dump him!" "Do we have to take him all over with us?" "How long's he gonna be out for?" "I don't know." "It's the first time I've tried it on a human." "What did you try it on before?" "A mouse." "How long was it out for?" "Four months." "But it woke up in perfect health!" "Four months!" "Get the boys in, or we're gonna be late." " Ronnie, who's the stiff?" " Get out!" "Look at your hair." "What a mess!" " It was the rain!" " Wear a scarf, then." " Where's the wee man?" " Here!" "Come on!" "You really are a sight." "Let me do the talking." "Don't throw yourself at him." "Play hard-to-get for the first half hour, then we'll play it by ear." "Where did you get that awful brooch...?" "Good evening, ladies!" "You probably think we're a pair of silly girls but is this Abernetty's factory?" "We're supposed to clean the offices but we can't seem to find the place, silly girls that we are." "No, no, you're a long way from Abernetty's, ladies;" "a fair bit off yer track." "It's our first night too." "What will we do?" "You just sit down here." "You can have a nice cup of tea and you can 'phone the man and don't you worry your pretty little head any more okay?" "What do you think, Marion dear?" "Will we stay here with the nice..." "man." "Excuse me, is there a wee girls' room where I can fix my make-up?" "Aye, right across the corridor, and take your time." "I love you, I love you." "A sweet thing like you won't need any sugar, eh?" "Do you want to go to the wee boys' room?" "Don't you catch cold, mind." "The key... the key's in the lavatory pan upstairs." "The key's in the pan..." "We're 10 minutes behind already." " Relax..." " Relax!" "?" "Maybe you'd like to give me a wee something to put me out for a couple of centuries, eh doctor?" "Sorry, wee hold up." "Lot's of pans." "Hey Andy." "Your sister'll kill you if you get a hole in her tights!" "You did say it was a robbery." "You gotta watch you don't go too fast." "These tights are run resistant." "You could break a leg!" "Ha, ha." "Let's get back to work." "Steel sinks, kitchen size, that's all we want." "Alec, what floor are the sinks on?" "The second floor." "Third floor!" "Come on." "This is the place, lads." "Let's get to work." "Oh, she's a shy one, eh?" "I like the shy ones." "Wonder where that wee rascal's got to?" "I'd better go and find him." "Sometimes has trouble with the zip." "Takes after his father." "Bysie-bye!" "What are you doing?" "I'm having trouble with this, missus." "Now you're wet in front of yer ears as well, you chump!" " How much is one of these?" " 40 quid." "For that price, you'd think you'd get a new one!" "Put it back." "Give us a break, Ronnie." "It's my mother's birthday next week." "You know the rules, these things are too easily traced." "Now, put it back." "Hey, Alan, do you know where there's a toilet?" "Along the corridor, turn to your right, 3rd on the left." "How's the watchman?" "He's okay." "Wal's taking care of him." "Do you want a wee something to put in his tea?" "No thanks, Bob, we can handle it." "Here, puss..." "What are you doing after the robbery?" "Now hold on, I'm a boy, you know I'm a boy." "I know that, are you doing any jobs, more robberies, anything like that?" "Not really thought about it." "You know, we'd make a good team." "You've got style!" "You think so?" "Not too showy, eh?" "No, not at all, not at all." "There you go, have a read." "Go up and tell them that's enough, we're pulling out in 4 minutes." "Check the street." "Give us the all-clear in 3½ minutes." "Sure." "Vic, get yourself and Wal outside." "We'll pick you up on the corner in 7 minutes" "I'm just getting rid of the footprints." "Come on, Alec, time to go on." "Cooeee!" "Can a girl come in?" "Now, Marion dear." "It's time we let this nice man get back to his work." "Thanks for all your help, sir." "Aye, it's been a great pleasure, ladies." "You two take care of yourselves." "There's a lot of hoodlums out there don't have any respect for a lady." " Take care!" " Thank you." "Well done, wee man." "Woohoo!" "Barbados, here I come!" "First floor - sinks and ladies underwear." "Thank you." "I don't know what this place is coming to." "They landed a helicopter on Martins' roof and lifted the sinks away." "The mind boggles!" "Do you know what I'm gonna do?" "I'm going straight home tonight and I'm gonna tell Bobby to put a padlock on the bathroom door." "Well, not a bad night's work, eh, fellas?" "93 stainless steel sinks, and our very own snoring zombie." "He's worth a lot more than your sinks." "That's a scientific curiosity." "I could get £200 for him up at the university." "Oh, aye." "What do you propose?" "We wheel him to the front door and ask for a cashier?" "You're a maniac!" " You're a psychopath." " I'm not." "I'm a scientist!" "That's suspended animation." "Folk have been trying for ages to do that." "You could put him on a space ship, send him through space, to Saturn, Mars, even Jupiter." "Short of van drivers on Jupiter are they?" "You're just determined to see problems everywhere." "Even a scientific breakthrough staring you right in the face!" "What about the sinks, Ronnie?" "When do we get the money?" "They're too hot to put on the market just now." "We'd be just as well keeping them here." "In the meantime, if anybody's got any bright ideas?" "What bright ideas have you got?" "What's the big plan now?" "Eh..." "Going back to what you were saying earlier about..." "What about it?" "How much could we get for his kidneys?" "Shut up!" "Look, he stays in one piece." "That's a fair question." "The kidney market's in a healthy state right now, kidney's flying all over the world." "I agree with you, Ronnie." "We'll keep him in one piece, at least until we see how the sinks go." "He's easier to carry that way as well." "What about the money?" "That's what we did it for." "I want to book my holiday." "Where are you going?" "A wee place on the east coast." "I saw it on the map..." "Grangemouth!" "Do you fancy coming?" "No, no thanks." "Maybe next year, eh?" "There's a simple way to..." "There's a simple way to do it, Ronnie" "Either we offload the sinks and split the money, or we split the sinks right now, and it's every man for himself." "What do you say, lads?" "Stop asking people to make decisions." "You're a troublemaker!" "Look, Ronnie." "I'll take my sinks and call it a day." "How many does it work out at?" "Okay, but they don't leave here until after the weekend." "Give things a chance to cool down." "It works out at 8 sinks each." "That'll leave some for..." "Most disappointing show, wouldn't you say?" "Very boring, really, but this..." "This interests me" "Yeah, well I'm here to see a man who's interested in buying them." " Really?" " Yeah." "Well he must know a thing or 2 about recent developments in the New York school, because this is a very, very good piece." " Yes, he'll be along just now..." " You're not the artist?" " Yeah." " You are?" " You're responsible for this?" " Yeah, yeah." "You just bring it here to install it or, what?" "Yeah, just came to install it." "There was a fella interested but he hasn't turned up yet." "It's not yet part of the show?" "It's not part of the show, it's mine." "It's got nothing to do with the gallery director?" "No, it's mine." "This is perfect for the exhibition I'm planning about metal sculpture." "I'm buying all the work for the show and I would love to buy this." "How much is it?" " You're interested in buying it?" " I certainly am." "How much is it?" "Well the sinks come about £60 a piece." "I could let you have the 4 for 200." "That's ridiculously cheap!" "I could throw in some taps and you could make it 250." "I know what you're getting at but I accept it as a work of art." "I know exactly what you're getting at." "It's extraordinary, what do you call it?" " Well, just "Sink"." " Sink?" "Well, I'm happy to buy "Sink" for £200." " Yeah." " Do you mind...?" "This is my lucky day." "It's absolutely as it should be." "Tell me... who..." "What's your name?" " Cash." " Sorry?" " M. Cash." " M. Cash." "How appropriate." "Well, Mr. Cash, here you are..." "M. Cash Esquire, 200 pounds." "There we are." "Thank you very much." "Tango control to mobiles we have another missing bread van, colour white contents, 4 dozen pies," "8 dozen morning rolls, 2 dozen small trifles," "3 dozen large trifles, 1 dozen apple turnovers," "3 dozen iced doughnuts, no chocolate doughnuts, repeat, no chocolate doughnuts," "Now, now, doctor." "How's the other one?" "It's still the same." "We've got the computer readout on his biorhythmic, electromagnetic, brainwave sleep pattern, doctor." " Quite interesting reading." " What's the score?" "According to the analysis of the normal sleep pattern and comparing that to his electrowaves he's scheduled to wake up in the year... 2068." "Without aging a single day!" "He'll just wake up and want his breakfast." "Carrying the hopes, the dreams, the fears of all of us into the next century!" "The sink, doctor." "Don't forget he'll be carrying that too." "There's so much more we could be telling them, giving them!" "There's something else." "When he wakes up he'll be a billionaire." "Huh?" " He's due 80 years of sick benefit." " At compound interest!" "Plus 40 years of old age pension." "He'll be worth a fortune." "Just think!" "Waking up in the Glasgow of 2068!" "The ring road will be finished." "Partick Thistle in the European Cup!" "The S.D.A. will have started the facelift in Bearsden." "Trees everywhere!" "And medicine!" "Just think of the progress." "Everybody in Paisley will be able to have a brain transplant." "Yeah!" "When's he going to shut up?" "Don't worry, it'll be over in 80 years." "I've heard of water into wine, but sinks into doughnuts?" "!" "Fantastic!" "Wait a minute." "If sinks turn into doughnuts, what happened to the driver?" "It's no' him." "It's no' snoring!" "Listen lads, I've got something important to say." "I've been thinking... you know that Irn Bru factory up at the Cross?" "It's a natural for a hit." "No, look, the summer's coming, right?" "There'll be 100s of thirsty people, we can make a fortune!" "We can get rid of the guard dogs with some of Bobby's chemicals in the Kennomeat." "It's only a 20 foot fence." "All we need is a couple of ropes." "No...!" "Rope ladders, that's the thing, rope ladders." "And all we do is connect one end of the hose into the main pump inside, and the other end to our tanker outside." "That's all!" "20,000 gallons of Irn Bru?" "That's not to be sniffed at!" "We could take it down the coast." "Sell it on the beaches." "We could drive it to Spain!"