"This is scandalous." ""Anchorwoman Juliette Lopez leaves wlpk citing sexual harassment."" "She's not even that pretty." "Looks like she has a pretty pricey boob job though." ""One time she found a doodle of a male phallus on her news report."" "Very unprofessional." ""They're going ttry to find a replacement as soon as possible."" "I want to do it." " Really?" " Yeah." "'cause you never said that before, Kim." "About anything." "Ladies, I have to be a naysayer, but do you know anything about that kind of thing?" "She doesn't have to, Phil." "She has a photographic memory." "Show him, Kim." "Tell him what's on page 12 of that magazine." ""'even svelte celebs aren't afraid "of packing on the pregnancy weight,'" ""says Jerry O'connell, 34, of pregnant wife "Rebecca Romijn, model." ""'when mama's hungry, ma's hungry." "So you better have a meal ready.'"" "page 30." "Why aren't Tom and Katie dressing Suri Cruise in a coat?" ""Even though temperatures are falling, Suri Cruise still dresses" " like it's summertime."" " Word for word." "I wasn't en sure she could read." " What the bedazzle is that?" " Sounds like a car got totaled." " P, you better get out here!" " Debbie?" "Oh, god!" "Little debbie!" " Who's little debbie?" " It's his car." "I am such an idiot." "I hate mysel my dad was right." "I am distracted." "Now listen, don't be too hard on yourself, Craig." "I mean, it's not like anyone was hurt, right, Phil?" "You still have one of those things?" "I was, like, I'll just park it in the street but then I was, like, no, I can make it around 'cause it's a Teeny car." "And, I mean, I thought I had room 'cause of that, you know," ""objects in the mirror are farther than they look" deal." "Closer." "They appear closer." "That's what it says on every side-view mirror in every car in the world." "Yeah, I probably had a backwards thing 'cause, you know, it's a mirror." "We should probably exchange information." "Hey, you know what, P?" "Is it cool if we just don't do the whole insurance thing?" "Just skip it?" "Oh, well, I'd really prefer to go through the proper channels." "Okay, it's just I have this insurance problem, P, ere my typical." "Or my type of insurance doesn't really cover any, or I guess all of what happened here and that and this." "I told you to call that lizard and get car insurance." "I did call the lizard, Kim, but he put me on hold for two hours." "But hey, check it." "I am really good friends with this dude from high school?" "He has an awesome body shop." "He does great work really cheap." "You know Jim Dubensky?" "I made out with him in sth grade." "He has a super-long tongue." "You know, I know his mother from curves." "She's pear-shaped but makes up for it with a very upbeat personality." "Well, if you all like him, I suppose I can" " give it a shot." " Awesome." "= 111 =- " News "" "VO By : ¤AkaZab¤" "Subs-Addicts" [Sub-way. fr]" "Well, I gotta tell you, Craig, I really was skeptical." "But I feel very comfortable leaving my car with your friend Jim here." "Right?" "I told you." "And, boy, you can't beat that price with a stick." "I guess you're probably wondering why I call her "little Debbie."" "Nah, not really." "Do you mind if you don't tell me?" "Makes me a little nervous, little weird." "Looks like John Law's got a bee in his bonnet about something." "Dude!" "I have a very uneasy feeling about this." " Step away from the vehicle, please!" " Oh, gosh." "Sorr officer." "It's actually my car." "I can vouch for him." "I went to high school down the street." "This is chop shop for stolen vehicles." "We're shutting this place down." "A chop shop?" "Everything in this lot being held evidence." " Is that police." "Helicopter?" " You have to leave that vehicle." "I can't leave her here." "It's gonna be dark soon." "And then this car..." "how long do I have to Lea H here?" "I don't know." "You have to contact the city." "The city?" "The city?" "Oh, good lord." "I am so bummed, man." "I totally feel like this is partially my fault." "All right, guys, let's go." "Move out." "You can put your hands down, sir." "I'd actually feel more comfortabl if I can keep them up." "A young horse need to be freed from a tree after curiosity got" " the best of it" " Yes, and the camera just loves Kimmie." "She is so focused." "Just motivated and beyond." "A young horse need to be freed from a tree." " She's an absolute natural." " Hilarious." "Okay, well thank you so much." "Thank you again." "Bye-bye." "That was WLPK." "They said that all applicants for the anchor woman position must submit an audition tape, so..." "It is so meant to be!" "My god, I have so many lady anchor clothes it is insane." "It's like a kinsmet thing." "Okay, mom, we have to go." "Come on, we have to get me" " some audition clothes." " This is exciting!" "Phil, are you gonna be okay?" "Do you want Craig to Rub your feet?" "No, Craig would probably not do that." " I'll be fine, honey." "Thank you." " You sure?" " All right, well, we'll be back soon." " Do you think I should get Ilas?" " If you want to be taken seriously." " I wouldn't hate that." "Kim, I really like it." "You're very serious and business-like on the top with the scarf." "And then you stand up from the news desk and bang!" "Keeps'em guessing?" "And you know I think?" "You should wear that dress with the dollar sign cut out when you do the financial report." " Wouldn't that be great?" " I love it!" "I can wear that beautiful orgasma when I'm reporting live from the Jolie/Pitt Camp." "I feel bad that you're fully bumming, dude." "You probably think it's silly that a grown man is so attached to a car." "Actually I kind of find it fascinating." "Like you're an experiment." "Thank you, Craig." "I appreciate that." "But you know," "I don't drive a snazzy sports car for the looks that I get from hot babes." "Nor do I do it to make up for some short coming in my nethers." "Not applicable." "No, I drive little Debbie for a much bigr reason." "Tell me, P. Look, I'm here for you, man." "You know, when I first laid eyes on Debbie," "I was at my heaviest." "And although I could fit in the car, I couldn't shut the door." "My lefbuock and my upper arm would not allow it." " You must've been a real load." " I was." "But then little Debbie said to me, "Phil," "I know that somewhere in that heaving, swaying bowl of lard there beats the het of a really cool cat."" "Can I have a ride home?" "I'm gonna give you a ride, dude." "But not home." " What do you me?" " We're gonna go get little Debbie back." "Was I supposed to do that?" "You're supposed to pound it with your fist." "I let it happen 'cause we're in a head space." "Next time I'll pound you." "Come on, Craigy." "Let's open this bitch up." " P, relax, dude." " I shouldn't drink." " I get a little salty." " Dude, you had two rum balls." "That's, like, eight-proof." "Situations like this, I like to strap one on." "It's "tie one on." You should say, "tie one on."" " Tie one on." "Well, this..." " All right." "Is not gonna open up anytime soon." "You're gonna climb up?" "Yeah, dude." "Just stay here and keep a lookout." "No chance, amigo." "You listen to me." "You're not doing this alone." "There's no telling what's on the other side of this fence." "Yeah, there is." "We were literally in here four hours ago." "Just a bunch of banged up cars and junk, dude." "We know exactly what's on the other side." "I'm coming with you." "Well there goes those loafers." " I should've worn my topsiders." " What's a topsider?" "It's a shoe that will change youlife." " All right, buddy, you okay?" " I'm fine." " You okay dude?" " Are you kidding?" "I got adrenaline coursing through my body like nods business." "Let's do it to it!" "And listen, Craig." "If this thing goes bad, you let me take the heat." "You're a young man." "You got your whole life ahead of you." "You're not gonna go down on this one, my friend." "Do you savvy me?" " Your car is gone." " What?" "Debbie." "Debbie?" "What are you looking at?" "Okay, Craig, let me know when you're ready." "Sorry, yeah, i'm ready." "In five, four, three, two." " What?" " You go on my doot." "And di-da-doot." "Good evening, Florida." "I'm Kim Somersby." " Okay, how was that?" " I thought it was great Kim." "Great." "But you know what I would use your right shoulder more." "You know, it's energetic." "That's why they call it action news." ""God evening, Florida."" "What do you think, Craig?" "I just think her cans look amazing." "It makes me wanna, like," " rack focus." "Get it?" " All right." "And, action news!" "Good evening, Florida." "I'm Kim Somersby." "Cut!" "Too much shoulder." " You told me to do that." " Use that fire." "Go!" "Good evening, Florida." "I'm Kim Somersby, and this is my co-anchor, Phil." "Hi, I'm Phil." "You know what, I think we need a pop of witty banter." "You know, the back and forth." "The way they do in the morning shows." "So, Phil, I noticed your hair." "It looks different." "Did you part it differently today?" "Are you really asking me?" "So, Phil." "You're so funny." "What." "So what did you do last night?" "Well, I ripped one of my favorite pairs of trousers, and I lost a beloved member of my family." "You know what?" "Up, up, up, up, up." "I'll sit in." "They do this all the time Onregis and Kelly." "Good evening, Florida." "My name is Kath Day." "I'm Kim somersby's mother." "I saw a prodtion last night of driving Miss Daisy starring todd bridges at the coast theater." "Not a dry eye in the house." "No, you didn." "You were bugging me to clean my room all night." "You are a hoot." "You're so funny and smart." "You know what I love about you?" "You like a boys club and you're not a whistle-blower." " No, it can't be." " Hey, what are you looking at, P?" " Say "we'll be right back,"" " We'll be right back, Kim." "Really picking up speed, isn't he, Charlie?" "Yeah, the police have really backed off now for safety reasons." "That's totally your car, Phil." "Your car's famous." "No, it's not." "It's not." "I figured it out." "It's not." "Apparently the car was stolen from an auto body shop on the west side." "Dude." "Along with a small amount of Cocaine, Marijuana and Hachich." "I'd know if it was her." "I'd feel it." "Here." "This is far from over." "Oh, my." " But clearly this isn't little Debbie." " But, honey, the police did say that..." "No honey, sweetheart, they're just trying to wrap up their case." "This isn't little debbie." "This is Kim Somersby report in live from the side of the road in a weird neighborhood." "I'm here with Phil Knight and his totally wrecked car, formerly known as little Debbie." "Phil, how are you feeling, because you look devastated." "Are you devastated?" "Why would I be devastated?" "It's not even my car." "Can you move a couple steps to your right?" "You're sort of casting a shadow on Kim." "It makes her look like she has a beard." " This way?" " That way." "I'm not even gonna." "I want to tell you something." "That was absolutely." "No, not an interview." "This was absolutely top notch." "You reminded me of very early Katie Couric." "Thank you." "But now I really want to tell you that Phil is in very fragile state right now." "And I really don't think it's the best time to do your hard-edged, investigative reporting." "Okay, mom, when people are at war or their houses burn down, they might not be in the mood, either." "But it's my job as a journalist to be insensitive for entertainment purposes." "I never thought of it that way, kimberly." "You have a very good point." "You know, it's really hard to be the mother of a journalist." "Now I understand how Nancy O'Dell's mom must feel." "Excuse me, sir." "We found this under the overpass." "Does it belong to you?" "Poor baby." "I'm sorry, honey." "There." "I'll tell you something." "I was not aware of the underlying hatred motorists have towards cyclists." "It's like a "Flip off Phil" parade out there." "I think they're all jealous because you look very Lance Armstrong in this sexy get-up." "Did the insurance company call with my reimbursement check for my car?" "And we still haven't heard from the news casters about Kimmie's audition tape." "It's been a whole week now, and we are sitting we waiting on pins and needles." "Well they must not want me." "I guess nobody wants me." "Don't you say that, Kim." "You are gonna be the next Juliette Lopez of WLPK." "I can feel it!" "Maybe it was just a pike dream." "You know something that will never happen." "Pike dream my "A." You are gonna replace that tart on the news." "Let's take a beat here, Sugar Booger." "You know, a lot of aspiring broadcast journalists go to school for a long, long time, studying their craft, working impossible hours in small, obscure markets and out-of-the-way towns, waiting for a big break to show up that may never come." "But Kim, she's..." "Is and always will be the exception to that rule." "This kid's going right to the top!" "Thank you." "My name is Kath Day." "I'm Kim somersby's mom." "Oh, right." "Well, like I told you on the phone, like, an hour ago, they haven't gotten to the audition tapes yet." " Would you mind double-checking for me?" " Can't they're in a meeting right now." " Watching audition tapes?" " Nah, somebody's birthday." " I'll wait." " Be my guest." "Have you ever thought about layering your hair?" "You'd look cute in a couple layers excuse me, can I speak to someone in charge?" " Okay, that's me." " Can you come here?" "Great." "My daughter sent in an audition tape." "Yeah, we're not going to get to those till we get to those." "My daughter sits around on the couch all day watching TV, one cockamie show after another." "Finally she finds something she's interested in, being a newscaster, and she's good at." "Because it's taking you all so long to watch the doggone audition tape," " she's starting to give up." " Does she have big, fake boobs?" "Not yet, but we're looking into it." "All right, it's a slow news day." "Let's see what we've got." "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "See, now this part here is more of her sayg how upset Phil is, right?" "And there's a truck going by." "It's a sound issue." " And then this is when." " Phil Knight here to." "Right, that's when Phil threw up." "Very loud freeway." "She's always had a very week stomach." "Poor girl." "Look at her." "She just glows, I think." "You must be psyched to be getting a new car, dude." " I really am." " Riding a bike that much must, like," " squish up your danglies pretty bad." " Yeah, it's not the best." "I tell you though, Craig, even though it ended badly, the adventure of getting her back was just..." "There's just only one word for it." "It was a hoot and a half!" "I know, right?" "Felt like an action movie." " Felt like were like tucker and chan." " I don't know who those people are." "Just me and my bro on a mission." "You know, taking crap from no one." "Just living life on the edge." "I loved it." "Hold up." "You consider me your Bro?" "Dude, what kind of question is that?" "I'm just surprised." "Although I shouldn't be." "You call everybody "Bro."" "Look at me." "If you listen closely, I call most people "Bra."" "I only call people in my crew "Bro."" "Bro and Bra, two totally different things." "Really flattered that you would call me "Bro,"" " and that I would be on your crew." " Of course." "There is no faster way to go from Bra to Bro than what you are doing right now, bud." "No, mom, i'm not going to be the new Juliette Lopez at WLPK, so just get over it." "And you can't spend your whole life sitting around on the couch." "Well, look who's talking." "In the words of the great American poet Alanis Missette, "isn't it ironic?"" "She's got to be upset over Scarlett and Ryan." "Well, that'll never last." "Hollywood's new "it" couple were married in an exclusive resort in a private ceremony on Canada's east coast with just family and a few close friends." " Damn it, you are good reporter!" " I know." "I mean, you were so great in that audition tape." "Fantastic." "So natural." "You know, it's just not fair!" "I mean, why, why didn't they want you?" "Mom, just admit it." "We both know why they didn't want me." " Craig's camera work sucked ass." " I know!" " It was horrible." " I know!" "Wasn't it the worst?" " The dress..." " Just awful!" "..." " Oh, god, it was PU." " This is so gonna happen for me." "Don't worry." "There are gonna be plenty of other sexual harassment lawsuits." "And I am gonna be right here on the couch, waiting." " I am really proud of you Kim Somersby." " What's that?" "I wonder if Phil got a new horn for his bike." "No, it's not much bigger, but it's bigger." " Hey, honey!" " Look at this!" " It's adorable!" " Get in!" "Oh, my god, it's..." "My Bro Craig helped me pick out my new whip." "What do you think?" "Be honest." "Honey, I love it." "It's so sexy and stylish." "It gets, like, a million miles to the gallon and it comes with its own case." " It's really nice." " Soou didn't want another miata?" "Truth be told, cupcake, a grown man driving around in a little red convertible?" "That just screams... flashy." "But this, this screams "Phil Lesley Knight!"" " I like the sun roof too." " Buckle in, we're going for a ride." " Have fun in your adorable car." " We will." "We won't be back early." "This is so adorable!" "Tara reid is looking for a roommate to share her condo in playa del rey." "Okay, I am so there." "I don't know about that." "She seems a little wild at heart." "Mom, so am i." "So who's gonna cook for you and do your laundry?" " And pay your rent?" " She just got a reality show." " I'd like to see that." " Wait." "It's not gonna work." " She's a scorpio." " Too bad." "T" "Subs-Addicts""