"[♪♪♪]" "♪ I know you ♪" "♪ You were in all type ♪" "♪ I know it's because" "You want me to be all right ♪" "♪ Don't know what I'd do" "If I lost you ♪" "♪ Don't know what I'd do" "If I lost you ♪" "♪ I wish you didn't" "Take on everybody's pain ♪" "♪ 'Cause I know you ♪" "♪ Every night you say" "A prayer ♪" "♪ Don't know what I'd do" "If I lost you ♪" "♪ Don't know what I'd do" "If I lost you ♪" "♪ So don't go ♪" "♪ Don't go from me now ♪" "♪ Don't go ♪" "♪ Don't cry for me now ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, God" "What the hell would I do ♪" "♪ If you take her" "I swear, I'm coming too ♪" "♪ 'Cause I don't know" "What I'd do ♪" "♪ Don't know what I'd do" "If I lost you ♪" "♪ So don't go ♪" "♪ Don't go... ♪" "[♪♪♪]" " CARLEY:" " It may not look like it," "But I'm totally shitting my pants right now." "Mainly 'cause of this guy," "Shin." "If I don't land this jump, he's going to yell at me." "Well, he'll do that either way because that's how he motivates." "[CROWD CHEERING]" "I'm also shitting myself because they're here." "Mom and Dad." "They paid a lot of money for me to skate over the years and if I let them down, my dad's totally gonna make me pay him back." "[LAUGHING]" "Okay, I'm joking." "I just want them to be proud." "[CROWD CHEERING]" "[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]" "SHIN:" "Those marks mean you must work harder." "Much harder." "More practice." "More discipline." " Why are you talking like I - didn't just pass my junior test?" " Wait, no, not pass," " I aced it." " I'm elite now!" " You want a cookie?" "It's bad for training." " How are you not more - excited about this?" " I could go - to the Olympics!" "I am happy." "Would it kill you to show it?" "Old saying." "Treat triumph like a funeral." "Funeral like triumph." "What does that even mean?" " Only celebrate - at the end?" " Where's the fun - in that?" " I don't think Shin - believes in fun." "Unless it involves plastic wrap." "What are you guys talking about?" "We saw him jogging in the park with his arms and legs." "And abs!" "Wrapped up in plastic." "Hey, the man's been to two Olympics." "Maybe we should do that." "[LAUGHING]" "Seriously though, what did that even mean?" "[IN SHIN'S VOICE}" "Treat triumph like funeral." "No way." "My motto is always smile." "I don't mean be fake, but always, always find a reason to be happy." "And if you can't, smile anyway." "Why the heck not?" "Hey Car, are you ready...?" "Oh my God." "That dress is gorgeous." "Mom got you the prom dress." " She said we could pick it up - if I made elite." "It's beautiful." "Thanks." " I call dibs when - that's a hand-me-down." "Ah, no no no no no no." "I have seniority." "That dress goes up first." "Okay, I gotta get dressed." " Hurry up!" " Come down soon, okay?" "Okay." " MARK:" " Okay, Joe." " Read back what we got so far." "Yeah." "Yes, yes." "Don't even start." "What does it even say?" " You know what?" " It's from my heart." "Congratulating!" "Elite, baby!" "My sister's going to Sochi." "We're so proud of you." "Aren't we, Mark?" "Hey!" "Hey you, congratulations." " I gotta try and - fix this part up." " Sam, can you grab the - cake cutter for me, honey?" " You know what?" "I am going to - take you skating next week" " 'Cause I can still teach - you some tricks, too." "Okay." "[INDISTINCT DIALOGUE]" "[BOTH GIGGLE]" " You know what?" " Dad!" " Why do you keep - saying drywall?" "Like, do you like working for me?" " I'm gonna have - to call you back." "Yeah." " I think we can - cut the cake now" " Because he might have to - get back on the phone." " But, like, you're - not allowed to because." "Do you cut it like this?" "[LAUGHTER]" "[♪♪♪]" "Thanks for coming." "It just does what it wants?" "It does do what it wants." "You're totally right." "That's pretty cool." "Yeah I mean it's." "Hey!" "Is this your house?" " Only in the winter." " Really?" " Yeah, I summer - in Costa Rico." "Costa Rica." " What?" " It's Costa Rica." "Ignore my geographically- challenged friend." "Thank you." "Whoa, what are you doing?" "Nothing." "You just have a lint." "Got it." " I thought you were trying to - put a sticky note on my back." "What?" "What would make you think that?" "God, I don't even know you." "Don't we have biology class together?" "Do you believe this guy?" "Accusing me?" "It's just that there's a bunch on peoples' backs," " and you have one - balled up in your hand." "No I don't." "That's..." "Preposterous!" "Yeah, that's preposterous." "God," "I don't even know you." "Who do you think I am?" "I mean, who would do such a thing?" "Preposterous." "Whoa, whoa." "Let's see what's in your hand then?" " No thank you." " Just let me see it." " No, seriously." " Never mind." "I bet you" "I could guess it." "Three tries and if you don't guess, I destroy it forever." "And if I do?" "He takes you on date!" "With sex!" "Whoa, too far!" "I think that's a great idea!" "Just the date part." "Absolutely not." "Something else." "Why, are you scared or something?" "I am a lot of things, but I am not scared." "Well, it's settled then." "If I guess it right, I get to take you on a date." " [SIGHING]" " Fine." "And if you break this promise I will find you." "Okay, start guessing." "Cutie?" "Strike one." "Okay." "Okay." "Mmm..." "Hottie?" "Wow, you have a high opinion of yourself, mister." "John." "Mr. John." "Okay, third and final guess." "Your phone number?" "[CRINKLING]" "Sorry, John." "Enjoy the party." "[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]" "♪ Let's get on" "Another flight ♪" "♪ Maybe set out to sea ♪" "♪ Kick it up and" "Shake a fist at it ♪" "♪ 'Cause death is" "Harder to come by ♪" "♪ When you gotta" "Make a break for it ♪" "♪ 'Cause it's been" "A long time of this ♪" " GIRL:" " Get up there, Becks." "Go!" "♪ Something has got to give ♪" "♪ Everyone here" "Is ready to go ♪" "♪ It's been a hard year" "With nothing to show ♪" "♪ From down this low" "It's only up we go, up we go ♪" "♪ Everyone here" "Is ready to go ♪" "♪ It's been a hard year" "And I only know ♪" "♪ From down this low ♪" "♪ It's only up we go" "Up we go ♪" "[LAUGHS]" "Yo, Carley!" "What was that?" "What was what?" "Did you just yo me?" "Yes, I did." "You know, you could have said hi, hey, hello, what's up." "Go again." "What?" "Go." "I'm messing with you." "[LAUGHING]" "Of course you are." "You're really funny." "But not about the yo-ing." "Okay." "No yo's." "No yo's." "Okay." " So can I walk - you to your door?" " You can - never be too careful." " There's a lot of creepy - weirdos out there." "Isn't that what a creepy weirdo would say to a girl walking around in the dark alone at night?" "Nine times out of 10, you would be right, but I'm not a creepy weirdo." "See, that is totally what a creepy weirdo would say." "Are you always like this?" "So effusive?" "Wow, that's a big word." "That's a dictionary word." "It's like preposterous." "Hey, Carley." " Look, your friend" " Becks said." " Rebecca." " Only I call her Becks." "Well," "I was talking to Rebecca, and she said you owe me a date." "[SCOFFS]" "[CHUCKLES]" "Well played." "So I was thinking." "How about the zoo?" "It's a date." "But it has to be sometime in the afternoon because I practice pretty much every day." " Practice." " For what?" "I'm a skater." "You skate every night?" "Pretty much." "I just got elite, so." "Oh." "Congratulations." "You seem disappointed?" "It's just that athletes don't usually have much time for anything but themselves." "Excuse me?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't." " You're judging me - before knowing me?" " Whoa, whoa, Carley, - this was going so well." "Goodnight, Judge-y" "John Johnerson." "At least I don't put stickers on peoples' backs." "He waited around my front door for 20 minutes after I went inside." "Oh." "[CAR ALARM RINGING]" "[DOG BARKING]" "You're crazy, he's cute." "He's crazy, I'm cute." " I just think he meant - dating an athlete" " Was hard because..." " I know what he meant." " I'm just." " SHIN:" "Carley!" "No phones." "On the ice." "Now!" "[♪♪♪]" "♪ Stone walls" "And a heavy brow ♪" "♪ Paper legs we fold" "Without a sigh ♪" "♪ Sigh ♪" "[COUGHING]" "Hey, does Carley look all right to you?" "[MOUTHING SONG LYRICS]" "[LAUGHS]" "Okay." "[COUGHING QUIETLY]" "♪ How do we get over ♪" "♪ How do we get over" "This time ♪" "♪ One foot" "In a sinking hole ♪" "♪ While the other's" "Trying to get ahold ♪" "Water break." "Two minutes." "♪ How do we get over" "This time ♪" "[DOOR CREAKING]" "[HEAVY BREATHING]" "Wow, you're in here a lot for a man." "Why are you out of breath?" "I don't know." "Are you riding bike?" "Of course." "Cardio every day." "Training not only on ice." " I'm doing everything" " I should be." "What about diet?" "Cakes, cookies, ice cream, soda." "Soda is devil!" "I'm not drinking devil soda, okay?" "I just need to catch my breath." "[COUGHING, GASPING]" "[♪♪♪]" "[GASPING]" "[METAL CLINKING]" "[THUDDING]" "In movies, people are always fainting." "When they're scared, tired, when they get a super dramatic piece of news." "Here's a tip." "In real life, people don't faint for no reason." " DOCTOR:" " Deep breath in." "[BREATHING AUDIBLY]" "He made me breathe in and out so many times I got dizzy." "And then he said I had... exercise-induced asthma?" " So am I gonna be - one of those kids" " Who has to sit out - during gym class?" " Well, at least - you have that now." "How does this even work?" "Yeah, works just like that." "Ew." "[COUGHING]" "[INHALER PUFFING]" " Hey, Nuggy." " You okay?" "What do you think?" "[LAUGHING," "SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "[♪♪♪]" "[HEAVY BREATHING]" "[♪♪♪]" "My problem's with breathing." "What's blood gonna tell you?" "He's a little busy," "Car." "Do I at least get a lollipop?" " Carley, please!" " What?" "I always used to get a lollipop after a needle." "What do you say, Doc?" " You're gonna have - to schedule a follow-up" "For the results." " How long does - that usually take?" "Couple of days, usually." "Thank you." "See?" " And then things just - kinda went back to normal." " Well, normal for me." " TEACHER:" "Homologous chromosomes" "First pair with each another and then they segregate to..." "Well thank you for joining us, Ms. Allison." "I'm sorry." "I was skating over lunch." "Fascinating!" "When do you find time to eat?" " CARLEY:" " Don't worry," " I had a protein sh..." "You're being sarcastic." "Mm-hm." "Great." "What are you doing?" "I told you." "I'm in this class." "Oh, you're a stalker?" "No, I'm not a stalker." " I've literally been - in this class" "With you this whole time." " I thought we were - just messing around." "You're sitting in my seat, so can you move?" " TEACHER:" " Miss Allison?" " Is my teaching - interrupting your argument?" "I've literally been sitting in this seat..." "TEACHER:" "Okay, everybody, we can thank Miss Allison for the pop quiz you're about to have." "[GASPING]" " SHIN:" " Are you taking it correctly?" "Yes, I'm taking it as directed." "If taking properly, problem is not medication." "It is skater." "For once, can you just get off my back." "You know I have asthma." "Yuzuru Hanyu has asthma." "He also has gold medal." "What's your point, Shin?" "Train harder, Carley." "Otherwise, the only way you see Olympics is when you watch your friends on TV." "[DOOR CREAKING]" "[PHONE BEEPS]" "Ow!" "[WHISPERING]" "The biology textbook." " CARLEY:" " Wow, this is so pretty." " JOHN:" " Yeah." "Hold up." " [CHUCKLING]" " What are you doing?" "It's a surprise." " Okay," " I hate surprises" " And most girls don't - let guys blindfold them" "On a first date." " JOHN:" " You don't trust me?" " CARLEY:" " Nope!" "Not even a little bit." "JOHN:" "I don't think you have much of a choice, to be honest." "CARLEY:" "Oh." "Okay." "[♪♪♪]" "Okay." "JOHN:" "All right, watch your step." " You okay?" " Yeah, yeah." "Okay." "Whoa!" " All right, all right, - all right." "I got you." "Keep 'em closed." "♪ I wish I could" "Do better by you ♪" "Keep 'em closed." "♪ 'Cause that's" "What you deserve ♪" "Open your eyes." "♪ You sacrifice" "So much of your life ♪" "[LAUGHING]" " JOHN:" " The cutest thing ever?" "It's the cutest thing ever!" "♪ In order for this to work ♪" "♪ While I'm off" "Chasing my own dreams ♪" "♪ Sailing around the world ♪" "♪ Please know that" "I'm yours to keep ♪" "♪ My beautiful girl ♪" "♪ When you cry" "A piece of my heart dies ♪" "♪ Knowing that I" "May have been the cause ♪" "♪ If you were to leave" "Fulfill someone else's dreams ♪" "♪ I think I might" "Totally be lost ♪" "[LAUGHING]" "That was crazy!" "Thank you." "♪ No delicate" "String of pearls ♪" "That was so cool!" "No problem." "[LAUGHING]" "Here you go." " Thank you so much." " Would I get one more?" " No worries." " Thank you." "So what were you saying about athletes again?" "Look, I'm sorry." " You know, I've - never seen someone fly" "So close to the sun and just:" "[EMULATES EXPLOSION]" "[BOTH LAUGH]" "Oh, yeah, and thanks for setting my car alarm off." "That was super smooth." " Definitely did - that on purpose." " Oh yeah?" " Yeah, I thought" " It looked cool." " Yeah, you know, running - away like a little girl." " [LAUGHING]" " Real cool." " It's a nice - picture in my mind." " You know, I call 'em - like I see 'em." "Look, my ex-girlfriend was on the volleyball team, and she didn't really have time for anything so I guess that's why I said that." "She was also cheating on me with Tom Hopkins" " because he had a - driver's license," "But I guess it made me kind of bitter." "[LAUGHING]" "So athletics had nothing to do with it?" "No, I was just angry and bitter." "So I hear you're also a singer?" "Sorry, I'm auditioning for the Berklee" "College of Music." "It's in Boston." "Wow, elite skating, singing." " You know, you're - starting to make the rest" "Of us look pretty lazy." "You okay?" "Yeah, uh." "You need my help?" "No, no." "I'll be right back." "[HEAVY BREATHING]" " Oh, my God!" " Carley!" "[♪♪♪]" "CARLEY:" "An athlete's heart rate should only be around 50 beats per minute." "When the paramedics arrived to take mine, it was around 110." " That's like the beat of - a really fast dance song" "At a nightclub." "Which explains why I was so thin." "[MACHINE WHIRRING]" "[DOCTOR SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]" "DOCTOR:" "I'm from the Oncology department." "After the CT scan was completed, the radiology department asked me to come down and take a look at it." "I was clearly able to see what was causing Carley's breathing problems." "I have, uh, I have a spare inhaler in here." "Mrs. Allison, I'm sorry, but that won't be necessary." "It's not asthma." "[DOCTOR CONTINUES" "SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "[WHIMPERING]" "More tests to run, but we have a little..." "In a few seconds, they're gonna come in and hug me." "Riley and Sam are gonna be holding in their tears." "My dad's gonna hold my hand and tell me everything's gonna be okay." "Hey." "My mom will kiss my forehead." "It's gonna be okay." "Shh." "It's okay." "[CRYING]" "And I'm gonna nod and know they're only telling me half the truth." " [CRYING]" " The truth is..." "The CT scan found a tumor on the right side of my trachea." "I have cancer." "DOCTOR:" "It's a malignant melanoma in your trachea." "It's extremely rare." "Only seven known cases in medical history." "You, young lady, one in a billion." "Wow." "Lucky me." "Well, you are lucky because we can remove it." "Not today, because the tumor is right up beside your thyroid." "So we have to use chemotherapy to shrink the tumor down to a size where we can get around it." "In the meantime, you need this tracheostomy so you can breathe." "[♪♪♪]" "[GASPING]" "[MACHINES BEEPING]" "[♪♪♪]" "[HEAVY BREATHING]" "Hey Nuggy." "How you doing?" "Good morning." "How you feeling?" "Hi." "Hi." "[MARKERS SQUEAK]" "[CHUCKLES]" "I'll take that one." "Wow, that's big." "[♪♪♪]" "♪ Every night we go out ♪" "♪ We don't care" "Where we end up ♪" "♪ Everyone ♪" "Hi." " No toys allowed." " It's okay." " It's so cute." " Oh, tell me about it." "Let's go." "Come on, come on." " But I'm her sister." " Let's go." "No toys in the ICU." "It's just for my sister!" "It's small!" "Man." "♪ As we walk down the street ♪" "♪ We don't see" "What people think ♪" "♪ 'Cause we don't care ♪" "It's okay, you don't have to hide." "I'm not wearing make-up either." "Can I see it?" "Oh, come on, I'm going see it eventually." "I bought you this giant, cute Panda." "How are you?" "[♪♪♪]" "[CHUCKLES]" "You have amazing handwriting." "[LAUGHS]" "Oh, you want to talk about embarrassed, huh?" " That night - we brought you in," "Your dad said he'd call my parents to pick me up because my phone had died." "But he forgot." "Not that I can blame him." " I tried to take - the train home" "And somehow ended up on the wrong train and ended up in the middle of nowhere." " And all the trains - stopped running," " So I had to knock - on this lady's door" "To use her phone at, like, two in the morning." "She got scared, called the cops, and I got arrested." "All right, not quite, but that's definitely what it looked like when cops pulled up" " to my house - with me in the back." "Right when all of my neighbors were leaving for work." "It's okay, Carley." "How about this?" "I'll make you a deal." "You show me your trach tube," " and I'll show you - the scar I got" "When I sat on a broken bottle in the sixth grade." "It's pretty gnarly, you're going to love it." "CARLEY:" "A few weeks later" "I started chemo." "Carley Allison?" " Hi, Carrie," " I'm Sophie." " I'll be taking - your blood today." "It's Carley." "Now, did anybody take your temperature?" "Nope." "Great." " Nobody took - your temperature." " Open." " Close." " How many chemo - treatments have you had?" "One." " Any nausea?" " Yes." "Diarrhea?" "Not since taco night." "Funny." "Any vomiting?" " Nope." " [THERMOMETER BEEPS]" "How is it?" "What?" "My temperature?" "Normal." "Why?" "Oh, no reason." " Okay, you'll be - experiencing some" " Or all of the side-effects" " I just mentioned" "During your treatment." "Roll your sleeve up." "Do I get juice after?" "What?" "You know when people give blood... ah, never mind." "Hold that, put pressure on it." "What an asshole, right?" "Oh, thank you so..." "Did you just call me an asshole?" "No, um, I was messaging someone and I meant them." "Mm-hm," "I'll see you next week." " At first I didn't get - all the gross side effects" " They said I would - from chemo." "But you know what was gross?" "Hey." "We ready?" "You got this." "Relax." "Take a deep breath." "Deep breath." "[RUSTLING]" "Thanks, Hun." "Okay so we're just looking for any redness, hardness, drainage, bruising." "And also be aware of any bad odors." "You mean other than Carley's breath?" "Hello?" "Hi, John." " I tried to knock, - but nobody came" "To the door, so I just..." "Holy." " We're just changing - her trach tube." "Okay, got it." " There we go, - we got it." " There, perfect." " We got it, we got it." "Get another one." "Where?" "Bathroom." "Upstairs bathroom!" "Sorry!" "MAY:" "Hurry up!" "She can't breathe!" "[♪♪♪]" "Come on, Sam, hurry up!" "You're okay." "You're okay." "You're gonna be okay." " Come on!" " We don't have much time!" "I know!" "Got it?" "Sure." "Okay." "I got it!" "[MAY  MARK SPEAK INDISTINCTLY]" " JOHN:" " I got it, I got it." "May!" "Okay." " Okay." "It's okay." " It's okay." " It's okay - just try not to move!" " MAY:" " Okay, okay, okay." "Stay calm okay?" "Try not to move." " Here we go, sweetie." " Stay still." "Here we go, and..." "[GASPING]" "[LAUGHING]" "So gross." "That's good." "I got it, I got it." "You sure you guys don't need any help?" "Oh, really, Mom, we are fine." "[LAUGHING]" "This is not an indication of my culinary skills." " You saw that." " That was completely him." "That was all him." "Look, really, you go relax and you'll know dinner's ready when smoke comes pouring out of the kitchen." "I think they like you." "That's good." "I'm a pretty likable guy though, so." "So when am I going to meet your parents?" " Well, I figured after we - burn down this kitchen," "We'll probably have to go to my place." "Seriously." "Do you want to wait?" "No, no." "Whenever you want, Carley." "What?" "Uh..." "Um..." "Let's just wait until chemo's done." "Whenever you want." "Really." "Look, I should probably tell you that..." "I love..." "No, no!" "What?" "I was gonna tell you how much I love carrots." "They are delicious." " I should probably cut - some more." "John." "Yeah?" "You know this is going to get ugly, right?" "I don't care." "Okay, but just listen." "Come here." "Look, I'm gonna be bald, and pukey and I'm gonna smell like ass, so I just want you to picture all of that." "I don't know what you want me to say." "You don't have permission to feel bad for me." "I'm always going to be there for you, Carley." "I promise." "That's a pretty big promise." "If you're in this... promise me... you will always smile." "Always." "I made you a promise." "So what did you say you love again?" "Actually I can't remember." "Oh, yeah?" "You." "I love you, Carley." "Cool!" "Okay, so, I'm recording this video for posterity, so if anyone, Sam," "Riley, finds this, do not watch it or post it under penalty of death." "Yeah, so there it is." "I'm in the same club as Mr. Clean" " and the National" " Bird of America." "I'm bald." "I miss my hair, but this is awesome." "Instead of washing, rinsing, conditioning, towel drying, hair-fryer drying, and applying hair products for 45 minutes every morning." "I do this." "There, that you can post." "[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL" "MUSIC PLAYING]" "I can't hear you!" "Is that a yes?" "Yes, yes." "[♪♪♪]" " CARLEY:" " Just stand like a human." " JOHN:" " I don't know how to." " CARLEY:" " Don't bend over!" "Just keep your back straight!" " JOHN:" " Oh, here we go!" " Okay... oof!" "[LAUGHING]" "[GRUNTS]" "Are you okay?" " Yeah, I'm okay," " I'm just embarrassed." " I'm supposed - to hold you up." " It's not your fault - you suck." " You're evil, - you know that?" " Hey, I'm giving you - a private skating lesson" " At a severely discounted - rate, so chill." "Okay." "No, but seriously though, you owe me 20 bucks." "[LAUGHING]" "I don't have." "[COUGHING]" "Hey, can we sit down?" "Yeah." "[COUGHING]" "CARLEY:" "You okay?" "JOHN:" "Please don't let me go." "[BREATHING HEAVILY]" "[GASPING]" "That's better." "The cold air was like a razor on my throat." "You know when we were kids and we mastered a new skill, our coaches would let us ring that bell." "[CHUCKLING]" "It was the best feeling." " You know I have to - try that now, right?" "Not until you become a master of not falling." "Oh, you're on." "How difficult can it be?" "This is one that you do, right?" "Like this?" "Whoa..." "[LAUGHING]" "I will ring that bell!" "Oh, no." "It's gonna be so perfect." "I'm so excited." "Hi guys!" "I haven't seen you in so long!" "How are you, Carley?" " Oh, I'm good." " I'm really good." "I miss you guys." "We need to do frozen yogurt or something healthier." "Heh, heh." "Yeah, sure." "Can she come to your party too?" "I'll forward the invite to you, Car." "It's just three, 10 people max." "There." "You're kind of an asshole." "I just forgot." "CARLEY:" "What's their problem?" "It's not like I'm contagious." " They don't think - you're contagious." " Then what?" " I'm gross?" " 'Cause I'm bald, - skinny, sick." "Why are you even with me?" " I'm with you because - you make me happy." " Because of the way you..." " No, stop it!" " I'm gross, and it - actually makes me so mad" "That you're trying to pretend" "I'm the same as I was." "Carley." "Carley, you are still the smart, funny, beautiful girl that you have always been." "It doesn't matter what you look like." " You have one of the - most beautiful hearts." " Your eyes..." " Ugh!" "Just shut your mouth." "[BOTH LAUGH]" "[♪♪♪]" "♪ It's hard to see your face ♪" "♪ It's a million miles away ♪" "♪ I can't help but think ♪" "♪ What if I told you ♪" "♪ I'm still in love with you ♪" "♪ Would it break you ♪" "♪ Would it take you down ♪" "♪ Would it make you say ♪" "♪ All that you wanted ♪" "♪ See, now that you're ♪" "♪ Standing in front of me ♪" "[SONG CONTINUES PLAYING" "ON COMPUTER]" "So is it any good?" "JOHN:" "It's great, Car." "You know this account is public, right?" "And?" "Fifteen hundred people have watched this already!" "♪ Like this ♪" "♪ I care about you ♪" "♪ I loved you ♪" "♪ Oh ♪" "♪ I loved you ♪" "[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "[♪♪♪]" "How you doing, Dad?" "You warm enough?" "Okay, roll up your sleeve." "Did you see my video?" "What video?" "I did a song, and it's on YouTube." " Well I would lay off - the singing" " 'Cause you don't want - to ruin your voice." "Otherwise you might not be able to sing again even if you get better." "When." "What?" "Not if." "Look, I don't know if you are taking this lightly, or if everyone around you is choosing not to tell you what's going on here, but you need to know exactly what you're dealing with." "[SCOFFS]" " Do I have to be on - the actual brink of death" "For you to be nice to me?" "Carley, I just said lay off the singing." "No, you said if." "I'm sorry if that's harsh, but you need to know exactly what you're up against." "I'll see you next week." "[♪♪♪]" "Today was my first day back at school in months." "My locker's going to smell like shit." "Hey, Car." "Hey, Becks." "I'm sorry..." " about - back at the rink." "I got freaked out." "[ CRYING]" "It's just," "I wasn't thinking." "I'm so sorry, Car." "I miss you." "I miss you so much." " [CRYING]" " I miss you too." "[LAUGHING]" "Um..." "I would have an excuse to wear a hat inside, but what are you doing?" "Oh, my God!" "What did you do?" "Solidarity." "[LAUGHING]" "You look amazing." " I want to show you - something." " Follow me." " What?" "Come on, run!" "Oh, wait, what..." "[LAUGHING]" "Look!" "[SQUEALING]" "[CROWD CLAPPING]" "They were raising money for cancer research." "[CRYING]" "[♪♪♪]" "[RAZOR BUZZING]" "♪ Where were you all day ♪" "♪ I'm waiting ♪" "♪ All the place I craved ♪" "[RAZOR BUZZING]" "[SCREAMING]" "♪ Cast you under ♪" "[RAZOR BUZZING]" "♪ Fresh match" "Light underneath ♪" "♪ The only thing" "You help me out ♪" "Carley, I have short hair and I want to do it anyway, it's okay." "I would've done this for your mother, you know." "Aw, thank you." "Absolutely not!" " I tried, guys." " I can't do it." "You tried!" "It was a good try!" "The thing is someone has to try it." "[SCREAMING]" "Come on, oh, this is great." "Oh, my god!" "I need time," "I need time!" "Say goodbye." " I'm so sorry," " Mom!" "Okay, fine, whatever." "[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]" "I can't do it!" "Oh, my God." "Oh, you are the best daughter ever!" " Riley, Sam, - you get in here!" "Come on!" "I support in so many other ways." "Yeah, me too!" "Get out of here, chickens." "Go watch your shows." "Oh, see how a man does it." "Bring it on, take some notes and bring it on!" "Taking one for the team." " He's gonna look weird." " No, he's not." " With a face like that?" " You sure?" " Anything - for my little girl." "I love you." "I love you." "You ready?" "Okay!" "I haven't done this before." "[LAUGHING]" "MARK:" "May, get in here!" "She's on, she's on." "INTERVIEWER [ON TV]:" "So how are you dealing with all of this?" "I decided to treat cancer like a contact sport." "If I keep moving, it can't get me." " How do you stay - so positive?" "Do you ever feel sad?" "Yeah, I get sad." " But life's too short - to be unhappy." "You can always choose to be happy." " What about people - with mental illness?" " Can they choose - to be happy?" "Did they just ask Carley a hardball question?" "She's got this." "I know there are a lot of people who are depressed for reasons they can't control." "But like any illness, you can get help." "You just need support." "So if you know someone who's ill, you need to be there for them." "I couldn't have done it without my parents... my sisters, Sam and Riley... and my boyfriend." "Ioannis, this girl, she goes to your school." "Do you know her?" "Umm, yeah." "Where's the goddamn battery for this thing?" "It's in my office." "Can we please keep some semblance of consistency around here?" "[SIGHING]" "What's wrong?" "Just trying to document our daughter's prom." " You want help - with the camera?" " Nope." " You got that." "Maybe Carley can use some help upstairs?" "Riley and Sam are up with her." "Oh." "Oh, okay." "Okay!" "Just, okay, what do I need?" "Okay, um, let me see." "Okay." "Your face." "You make these weird faces." "MARK:" "Carley?" "Dad, one sec!" "Okay, look." "Perfect." "Wow." "Car, you look amazing." "Thanks." "Okay, go, go, go!" "I need to change." "Love you." "I love you." "Let me see." "I love you." "♪ Ground is rumbling ♪" "♪ Walls are growing thin ♪" "♪ Walls are rearranging ♪" "♪ All is caving in ♪" "♪ 'Cause I'm following" "Your lead ♪" "♪ Following your lead ♪" "♪ Following your lead ♪" "♪ Following your lead ♪" "♪ It's the blind ♪" "♪ Leading the blind ♪" "♪ Oh, it's the blind ♪" "♪ Leading the blind ♪" "[EXHALES]" "Screw it." "[♪♪♪]" "[WHIRRING]" "Hi." "[CHUCKLES]" "She looks beautiful." "You look gorgeous." "Thank you." "Don't cry." "[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]" "Someone's here to see you." "What?" "Come on." "Oh, my God, you look incredible." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Come here." "I was gonna get a corsage, but I figured you were probably pretty sick of flowers." "So I got you this instead." "The C stands for..." "Cancer?" "Carley!" " Oh, my gosh." " What's wrong with you?" "I'm kidding." "You are so weird." "It's beautiful." "Ow!" "What is wrong with you?" " How much did you - spend on this, John?" "It's none of your business." "You have college next year." " You have textbooks - and beer to pay for." " You have to return this." " No!" "Return it!" "Just let me put on the damn necklace." "There's no way I'm returning that." "Thank you, Mr. John." "[♪♪♪]" "[♪♪♪]" "[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "♪ Oh, sit back and listen in ♪" "♪ I'll tell you a little story" "Don't know where to begin ♪" "♪ Close your eyes" "And imagine with me ♪" "♪ I'll paint a little picture" "In your gallery ♪" "♪ Tellin' more lies" "Bend the truth ♪" "♪ I guess that's what you call" "A spoiled youth ♪" "♪ I'm all right" "But a bit uptight ♪" "♪ Just keep me busy" "On a Saturday night ♪" "♪ All your moping ♪" "♪ Giving me sorrow ♪" "♪ Now you're leaving" "I had a feeling, oh ♪" "♪ When it's over" "Tell it to me like it is ♪" "♪ Tell it to me like it is ♪" "♪ Tell it to me like it is ♪" "♪ Tell it to me like it is ♪" "♪ Forget about the story" "I was gonna tell ♪" "♪ I crumpled up the paper" "Threw it into a well, oh ♪" "♪ That's just the way" "That life does go ♪" "♪ How anyone gets by" "Shit, I don't know ♪" "♪ Rhythm blocks" "From an itchy head ♪" "♪ Spill from pen and paper" "Till the day I'm dead ♪" "♪ I'll wrap them up" "In a melody ♪" "♪ Sing it to you drunkenly ♪" "♪ All your moping ♪" "♪ Giving me sorrow ♪" " JOHN:" " Where are you taking me?" " [LAUGHING]:" " I'm not telling." " CARLEY:" "Oh, my God." " JOHN:" "Come on." "You're so slow." "I can't run in these heels." "[BOTH LAUGHING]" "[♪♪♪]" "[GASPING]" "It's okay." "You look beautiful." "After they removed my tumor people were always telling me how great I looked." "They always leave out the "for a person with cancer" part, but it was still there." "I keep this picture to remind me that this was the worst I ever looked." "And when I woke up, it the worst I ever felt." "[♪♪♪]" "John could have any healthy girl he wants." "A girl he can take out on dates, not a girl who can barely stand from chemo." " That night I didn't think - about the fact" "That I couldn't eat cake or that I couldn't dance because I might faint." "Somehow it all went away for one magic night." "It was perfect." "♪ If it breaks" "I'll give it back ♪" "High school was over." "[RAZOR BUZZING]" "John should be getting ready for the best years of his life, not feeding a sick girl watermelon popsicles every time she spikes a fever." "JOHN [OVER PHONE]:" "Carley, I just..." "I wanna know what I did wrong." "If it's the fact that I haven't introduced you to my parents," "I can explain." "They're just so Greek." " If they find out that" " I have a girlfriend" " They're going to start - planning a wedding" "And I'm not joking, all right?" "[BREATHING HEAVILY]" "CARLEY:" "I know I'm going to get better." "For the next little while, things could get a lot worse." "[PANTING]" "And let's be real." "John can't fight this battle for me." "For a girl who's always trying to make people smile," "I can't be the reason he doesn't." "[♪♪♪]" "♪ I can hold my breath ♪" "♪ I can bite my tongue ♪" "♪ I can stay awake for days ♪" "♪ If that's what you want ♪" "♪ Be your number one ♪" "♪ I can fake a smile ♪" "♪ I can force a laugh ♪" "♪ I can dance" "And play the part ♪" "♪ If that's what you ask ♪" "♪ Give you all I am ♪" "♪ I can do it ♪" "♪ I can do it ♪" "♪ I can do it ♪" "♪ But I'm only human ♪" "♪ And I bleed" "When I fall down ♪" "♪ I'm only human ♪" "♪ And I crash" "And I break down ♪" "♪ Your words in my head" "Knives in my heart ♪" "♪ You build me up" "And then I fall apart ♪" "♪ I'm only human ♪" " So you want to go riding - on Thursday, on Tuesday?" "What do you think?" "Can we go riding on Tuesday?" " Mm-hmm." " WOMAN:" "Yeah, we should do that." " RILEY: - 'Cause we didn't" " Get to go last week." " MARK:" " Yeah." "That'll be good." "Yeah." "SAMANTHA:" "You have to brush up, it's been a while." "Hi." "Okay, let's catch up for a second." "So they originally thought that my tumor was melanoma, and it turned out to be a clear-cell sarcoma." "So imagine melanoma as a pack of rats you discover nesting in your garage." "Clear-cell sarcoma is worse." "Way worse." "Now imagine trying to shoo them out," " and discovering that - the only reason they're there" "In the first place is to feed on a termite infestation that's running through the structure of your entire house." "Clear-cell sarcoma of the trachea is so rare that it makes me one in three and a half billion." " I'm glad you brought - your family, Carley." "It's important for you to have your support system with you through the good times and the bad times." "This... this is the former." "[SIGHS]" "Sorry what's the latter?" " Is that the good times - or the bad times?" "It's good." "You're only the second known case in the world." "But it looks like the surgery was successful." "I'm cancer-free?" "Technically." "I gotta say you're trending in the right direction." "But, I'm going need to see four clear CT scans from you" " before I'm ready to - say that the chance" "Of regression has dropped exponentially, which is our best case scenario." "I love you!" "Whoa!" "[ALL LAUGHING]" "[♪♪♪]" "Oh, thank God!" "[CRYING]" "[WATER RUNNING]" "Oh hey." "Sorry, I was just leaving." "I heard your good news." "Huh?" "I heard your good news." " As a science person - you should know" "That there's a whatever percent chance it comes back." "You pretty much hate me, don't you?" "Is that you asking for an opinion?" "[SCOFFS]" "Come here for a second." "Look." "I'm sorry." "I know this might not seem much to you right now, but the only reason I said those things to you is because I've seen way worse things come from not saying them." "You know, it's twisted, but someone in your position has to not only look after your own recovery, but also the guilt of watching your loved ones being sad." "The irony is that I work so hard to keep people alive and then they end up hating me for it." "Are you okay?" "You know, I'm on hour 22 of my shift..." "[CRYING]" "And my cat has been alone for this whole time." "[LAUGHING]" "Oh, come on, it's my cat." "[BOTH LAUGHING]" "You wouldn't laugh if you saw him, he's adorable." "[SNIFFLES]" "My..." " [CRYING]" " My dad went." "I'm so sorry." "Thank you." "That comes after your cat being alone?" "[LAUGHING]" "It's weird, right." " [SNIFFLES]" " Yeah." "Thank you." "For all of your help." "Well, thank you for busting my ass." "[BOTH LAUGH]" "It's weird to say it, but you. uh... you killed cancer," "Carley." "Good job." "Watch your leg on the landing!" "Engage muscles." "You look like a rag doll on figure skates." "[BELL RINGING]" "Hey, Shin." "CARLEY:" "After a few months, I was ready to start training again." "First, I give my apology." "I was bad coach." "No you weren't." "Good coach would have known you were sick." "Well, I forgive you." "Hey, remember that thing you said after I made elite?" "Always treat your triumphs like..." "Funerals." "I remember." "It was about not letting emotions rule your life." "Emotions lead to mistakes, problems." " Too many people - think from here." "Not here." "You are rare person." "Well, apparently, I'm one in a three and a half billion." "I can get a doctor's note on that." "Shin, I want to get back in shape." "Will this help?" "[♪♪♪]" "Whoa, this is hard." "[COUGHING]" "Carley, feel it?" "Yeah." "Soon you will sweat like a pig!" "Run little piggy!" "Seriously, quit smiling!" "You look like a Batman villain." "Faster!" "CARLEY:" "And so I had a third of it, which is the world's..." " [MARK LAUGHING]" " Oh, my gosh." " CARLEY:" " And my legs started shaking." " I'm like," " I don't like what's going on." " It's the legs shaking." "CARLEY:" "Oh, it's about to get so much better." " Carley." " Hi!" " I'd like you to - meet Mr. Bowman," " He's one of our hospital's - donors, and also..." " A senior official at - the National Hockey League." " It is so nice to - meet you, Carley." " My wife and I - love your videos." "Aw, nice to meet you." " You have a beautiful - singing voice." "Thank you so much." " The NHL would - like to offer you..." "Season tickets?" "We'd be delighted." "A chance to sing the" "National Anthem at a game." " I don't know why" " I just said that." "Well, you took a shot." "What do you say?" "[LAUGHS]" " CARLEY:" " I'm pretty much" " Used to singing" " In front of my - family and friends," "But now I was about to sing on national television in front of millions of people." "Nervous?" "No, singing's sort of my thing, I'm..." "I'm good..." "I'm good." "[CROWD CHEERING]" "ANNOUNCER:" "Will you please remain standing and welcome our singer for tonight's" "Canadian national anthem." "She was diagnosed with an extremely rare trachea cancer in 2013, but that has not stopped her from performing for us tonight." "Please join me in welcoming Carley Allison!" "[CROWD CHEERING]" "♪ O, Canada ♪" "♪ Our home and native land ♪" "♪ True patriot love ♪" "♪ In all thy sons command ♪" "♪ With glowing hearts" "We see thee rise ♪" "♪ The True North" "Strong and free ♪" "♪ From far and wide ♪" "♪ O, Canada, we stand ♪" "♪ On guard for thee ♪" "♪ God keep our land ♪" "♪ Glorious and free ♪" "♪ O Canada, we stand ♪" "♪ On guard for thee ♪" "♪ O Canada, we stand ♪" "♪ On guard for thee ♪" "[CROWD CHEERING]" "[DOORBELL RINGING]" "Carley, can you get the door please?" " Why are you setting - the table?" "[♪♪♪]" "Please, just give me a second." "What are you doing here?" "I'm sorry, Carley." " But I was never afraid - of you or ashamed" "To introduce you to anyone." "I was embarrassed of my own family." "They're loud, really loud." "My grandparents live with me." "They hardly speak a word of English." "I just..." "I didn't want to overwhelm you." "But I want you." "Me and you were meant to be together." "Since I was too scared to bring you to my family," "I brought my family to you." "[SHOUTS]" "♪ You take me away ♪" "♪ Pass the clouds" "And into space ♪" "♪ I daydream about" "That place ♪" "♪ And if I'm lost ♪" "♪ I'm lost with you ♪" "♪ We don't have to know ♪" "♪ Where we're running to ♪" "♪ Or where we'll go ♪" "♪ We belong where" "The wild things are ♪" "♪ You set fire in my heart ♪" "♪ We belong where" "The wild things roam ♪" "♪ Just take my hand" "I'm yours to follow ♪" "♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ Let's go, let's go ♪" "[♪♪♪]" "[BLADES SCRAPING]" "[BREATHING HEAVILY]" "[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING]" " SHIN:" " Good job." "Nice applause." "CARLEY:" "Are you kidding?" "I suck now." "That was embarrassing." " If there were any judges" " I would have gotten..." " Top scores." " Are you crazy?" " Scores based - on difficulty." " What you did - was very difficult." "Yeah, for sure." "No jokes." "I am very proud of you, Carley." "Forget competitions." "Forget medals." "This was your greatest achievement." "Thank you, Shin." "[MACHINE WHIRRING]" "Hey, why don't we grab some Thai on the way home?" " Yeah, I could have Thai." " That would be nice." "No, Sammy hates Thai." " Come on." " Have you ever had" "The pineapple fried rice from Happy Thai?" "No, is it really good?" " Oh May, it'll blow - your mind." "It's beyond." "[METAL CLINKING]" "Ow!" "Okay, what was that?" "Sammy hates Thai!" " Let's just get - pizza or something." "Pizza it is." "And what is it you and the dimes?" "She threw a dime at her dad when she was about six to get his attention and she hasn't stopped." "If I had a dime for every time she threw a dime." "[CARLEY LAUGHING]" "No, Mom." "Hey, Doc." "So we good?" "It spread to my lungs." "♪ She must rest now" "Dream so deep ♪" "♪ I will caress you ♪" "♪ Smile in your sleep ♪" "♪ Smile in your sleep ♪" "♪ Don't go so fast ♪" "♪ And don't get" "Too far away from home ♪" "♪ Heaven at last ♪" "♪ To see how much" "My baby's grown ♪" "♪ She must rest now" "Dream so deep ♪" "♪ I will caress you ♪" "♪ Smile in your sleep ♪" "♪ Smile in your sleep ♪" "[♪♪♪]" " [WHISPERS]" " I love you." "I love you, too." "Sophie told me to write a letter to cancer." "She said her dad did it and it helped to focus his feels." "So, this is what I wrote." "Fuck you, Cancer." "[LAUGHING]" "Okay, that was a little harsh." "Although I think it is totally accurate." "I tried to look at it from a different perspective." ""Dear Carley," ""I'm Cancer." ""What's up?" ""How ya doing?" "You enjoying the weather?" ""[LAUGHING]" "Just kidding." ""I can't talk." ""You can't see me." ""I don't have any thoughts." ""I just start growing inside you," ""and the more I grow," ""the more you die." ""Basically, I'm like a really needy friend." ""Except I'm not your friend." ""I don't care about you or who you are." ""All I do is wait for the right conditions to try and exist," ""and at some point you sat" ""in front of a microwave for too long," ""or had bad DNA, or maybe even just got unlucky." ""And that was all I needed." ""You're just a Petri dish." ""Thanks for the ecosystem, dude." ""Love, Cancer."" "In a figure staking competition, the area where you get your scores is called the kiss and cry." "It was created by champions who came long before me, who realized it's not about what happens when you're in the box, just how many times you're in it." "How many times you keep putting yourself out there for marks." "And keep coming back no matter what the results are." "[♪♪♪]" "Treat funerals like triumphs." "What did that mean?" "It means that life is full of moments in which you can choose to smile or not smile." "Let's be real, do I wish I was at school?" "Yes." "Do I wish I could be training every day?" "Absolutely." "But these last two years have taught me so much that I refuse to believe the cancer inside of me is a killer." "It doesn't mean it's nice, but we all can make the choice." "And I choose to smile." "That's my triumph." "A lot of things were kisses." "Cancer was a cry." "But it wasn't my only score." "[♪♪♪]" "So you might take me away from all of this... but you also remind me that" "I got to leave my mark." "And that I am surrounded by love." "[♪♪♪]" "All right." "Thank you, Mr. John." "No problem." " You guys - need anything?" "Some hot chocolate?" "Want to take the truck?" " No one drives - your truck." " If you want to take the truck, - you can take the truck." "Don't be weird." "Just keep hoarding your truck like a normal dad." " JOHN:" " That's all right, Mark." " We'll walk, - it's not too far." "I will take that though." "Thank you, Mom." " All right guys, - see you in a bit." " MAY:" " See you in a bit." "I love you." "I love you, too." "Okay, go have fun." "[♪♪♪]" "♪ I may have grown apart" "From others ♪" "♪ Thinking days here" "In the dark give me change ♪" "♪ But hold on" "Disasters always spread apart ♪" "♪ My line of reason ♪" "CARLEY:" "You ready?" "JOHN:" "Yeah." " CARLEY:" " Just keep upright." "There you go." "Just push your feet." "See?" "So much better than last year." " Still can't stop, - though." "You'll stop eventually." "Very funny." "You're always making me look bad." "You look good to me." "You're just forgetting one thing." "What's that?" "[♪♪♪]" "Smile." "Always smile." "♪ Here in a familiar place ♪" "♪ We got our heads down ♪" "♪ And then we pretend it's" "'Cause the night is dark ♪" " MAN:" " I'm not sure if" " You've ever heard" " The name" " Carley Allison before," "But Carley, at the age of 17, was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer." "Everybody is kind of living their lives and then all of the sudden this just happens, this just falls in her lap." "So today I found out, as I'm sure you may already know," "Carley passed away." "She was 19." "Nineteen years old." "And she spent the better part" " of the last two years - fighting this thing." " WOMAN:" " The fact she was" " Able to stay positive" "And upbeat and inspire people through all of it." "MAN:" "Absolutely." "She was the example for all of us and she was determined not to let cancer win and even though she succumbed to it, it didn't win." "So our heart from Kiss 92.5 goes out to her father, her mother, her older sister, Riley, her younger sister, Samantha." " You have to be - hurting right now," "But wow you must be so proud." "♪ Let's get on another flight ♪" "♪ Maybe set out to sea ♪" "♪ Kick it up and" "Shake a fist at it ♪" "♪ Cause death is" "Harder to come by ♪" "♪ Than it is to breathe ♪" "♪ When you gotta" "Make a break for it ♪" "♪ 'Cause it's been" "A long time of this ♪" "♪ Something has got to give ♪" "♪ Everyone here" "Is ready to go ♪" "♪ It's been a hard year" "With nothing to show ♪" "♪ From down this road ♪" "♪ It's only on we go ♪" "♪ Everyone here" "Is ready to go ♪" "♪ It's been a hard year" "And I only know ♪" "♪ From down this low ♪" "♪ It's only up" "It's only up we go ♪" "♪ Nothing gives easy ♪" "♪ Easy gives nothing ♪" "♪ I'm just tryin' a keep ♪" "♪ Income coming in ♪" "♪ Dawn is bound to break ♪" "♪ When the night is done ♪" "♪ Always darker days ♪" "♪ Before brighter ones ♪" "♪ Brighter ones ♪" "♪ Brighter ones ♪" "♪ Brighter ones ♪" "CARLEY:" "My eyes have been opened to way more things than I could ever imagined at 18." " If I was to say to someone - going through cancer" " I'd say the typical - things, you know," "Keep your head up." "But after going through it," "I know it seems like there's never an end" " when you're going through." " Especially chemo." " But you just have to remember - that everyone is there" "For you all the time and you will get through it." "Never put the doubts in your mind." "Never think, oh, well," "I'm really, really not feeling well." " You're gonna get - better in the end." "You've gotta keep that in mind." "♪ Everyone here" "Is ready to go ♪" "♪ It's been a hard year" "With nothing to show ♪" "♪ From down this road ♪" "♪ It's only on we go ♪" "♪ Everyone here" "Is ready to go ♪" "♪ It's been a hard year" "But I only know ♪" "♪ From down this low ♪" "♪ It's only up, up we go ♪"