"In previous chapters..." "If you go away I'll recover faster." "I have the feeling that when I take the bus to Toulouse, something will be broken between us forever." "They're already giving you chemo, right?" "Just one session, how did you know?" "Because your hair's starting to fall out." "I'd shave it, before it falls out." "You have to anticipate events." "Lleó, you have to be strong." "Where are they doing the scan?" "In the lung." "why did you lie to him about where you have cancer?" "What are my chances of beating it?" "Because of the size and type of tumour you have, the risk is very high." "Hello, Cris." "Today's Ignasi's 18th birthday," "The Bracelets are going to the Collserola cemetery." "I'm happy to see you, but I can't today." "I don't know who you are or what you've become, but a Bracelet isn't like that." "Be right back." "Don't run away, eh?" "I miss your way of living and straight talking." "The truth is that the Bracelets aren't going through a good time." "Are you sure you don't want to go?" "What happened to you, Lleó?" "What have you done to your head?" "No, it's nothing, Gavina, they just told me they have to give me 2 more sessions of chemo, but everything's okay." "It really sucks that you didn't come." "That's not nice, Jordi." "Ah..." "I know your secret." "Toulouse less than a year ago" "Very good." "Very good, Natalie." "Cristina, your turn." "Okay?" "In Position..." "Music." "Episode 16 [2x03]" "Normally people keep their gifts in their room." "I'm sure what you're doing is illegal." "I just do what I'm told, and they told me to get it out of the room." "Besides, people give you books and chocolates, not giant canoes." "I'll sue the whole hospital" "Look, Lleó, tomorrow you're having a biopsy and they're operating on Rym, and a canoe has no business being in the middle of the room." "But it's colour will fade out here." "Would you like it turned a few degrees towards Mecca?" "No, that's fine." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "You'll see, soon you'll be able to use it for the first time." "Sure." "Can you tell me what this is?" "How long is it since you relapsed?" "It's the first time." "Yeah." "Don't believe me, then." "What's happened, Chris, if for over a year and a half you were okay?" "Why?" "Yesterday I saw Lleó." "Lleó?" "Yes." "We went to the cemetery because it was Ignasi's birthday." "And his cancer has returned." "I just wanted to talk to him, to ask him how he was doing." "Surely also for him it's not advisable to meet you." "So, what then?" "Can't we even be friends?" "Later on, when everything heals." "When you're completely cured." "Carol, I'm cured." "Cris, we're going to see the doctor." "I don't want to go see the doctor." "I wasn't asking." "Are you okay, Jordi?" "You don't look so good." "That's because I didn't sleep much." "Ah, you stayed with a girl!" "Right?" "No way!" "But... what are you doing, man?" "Dammit!" "If Serra sees you putting it on like that, he'll have your balls." "Jordi, that goes the other way round!" "Shit!" "Not in the right mood for work today, eh?" "So what do you want me to do?" "Serra!" "Yes?" "What is it?" "You see, Jordi doesn't want to tell you, but this afternoon he has an exam and isn't coping very well." "He should have studied last night." "What do you want me to do?" "Yeah, but he couldn't, because he stayed with Vane." "And who's that?" "Yeah, one of those dance girls that can't say no." "You know, body of a Maserati and power of a BMW." "Get it?" "I get it, I get it!" "Soon I'll get you both." "You must be knackered, eh, Jordi?" "I'm telling you!" "It shows!" "Okay, if you finish the job, he can go." "Okay, it's done." " Well, hurry up, man!" "Relax, I'll do it." "You didn't have to do that." "Yeah, but I wanted to." "You're my friend, right?" "What have you got there?" "Nothing." "A pimple." "A pimple?" "But it's huge!" "Hey, it's nothing." "Jordi, Jordi..." "Carlos, it's nothing!" "It's nothing, man." "I'm sorry." "I have to go." "See you tomorrow." "And thanks." "You've been caught, man." "You don't exist." "You're just in my head." "You don't exist." "No, no I don't." "but the huge bulge under your arm does, and now Carlos knows it." "What's up?" "Leave me alone." "You've come so far, Jordi." "Now you have to go to the hospital." "Carlos will tell your mother, you know." "Hey, baldy!" "I hear you have a canoe." "Yes, sir!" "Very practical." "Tony has excelled himself, eh?" "I'm thinking of buying you some skis that match." "What do you think?" "Where are you going, sucker?" "A lung capacity test." "Tomorrow I have the biopsy." "I'll go with you." "Did you see Cris at the cemetery?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Okay." "And your sister, how's she taken it?" "When's she coming back?" "I don't want to talk about that either." "Don't you have anyone else to go and interrogate and touch up?" "You got up out of the wrong side of the bed, eh?" "Well, in your case always." "Leave me alone, Roger." "How you doing?" "Pretty badly." "I haven't had my period and nobody told me that would happen." "Yes, but what they did to you, freezing your ovum, they already told you that it was pre-emptive, just in case the chemo..." "Yes, I know that." "But no one told me that I'd lose it in the first chemo." "I want to be informed of everything." "Very well." "Tell me, what do you want to know?" "The reconstruction... will you do it tomorrow, in the same operation?" "No, we'll do a week later." "We must first analyze the tumour, and then wait for it to heal." "Okay." "And is it easy?" "I mean... will I look the same as I do now?" "That we can not know until after the operation, Rym." "Why?" "There are thousands of girls who get breast implants." "Yes, Rym, but your case is different." "Besides, I repeat that it's absurd to talk about this... until we see how the operation has gone." "Damn it, you're unbearable!" "Tell me everything at once!" "Rym, doctors have to be cautious." "Carlos, what are you doing here?" "Sorry, Jordi, I know it's a betrayal, but I had to tell your mother." "You shouldn't hide these things" "Show me." "It's nothing, Mom." "Carlos is exaggerating." "If it's nothing, why don't you show me?" "Jordi." "Jordi!" "It's nothing, Mom." "Trust me." "I trust you." "Now you trust me." "If it's nothing, why don't you show me?" "It..." "looks worse than it is." "Jordi, I want to see!" "Where is it?" "I'm sure it's nothing, Mom." "It must be a ball of fat." "The doctor said that sometimes they come up." "Probably, but we have to go to the hospital." "No... no, no." "Jordi, they have to look at it." "You have to see a doctor." "And what if it turns out to be something?" "It won't be anything." "It won't be anything." "# Where are you... # all those of you who made me dream?" "# Where are you... # every time I lose my voice?" "# I don't remember my name." "Come on, Chris." "Let's go." "# I don't remember the passing notes." "# Oh!" "# I have bloodstained wings." "# Where do they go... # all those who don't return?" "# Where do they go... # the promises made and broken?" "# I can't breathe calmly..." "# If I don't know who I can trust." "# Oh!" "# I have bloodstained wings." "# I will return to smile..." "Jordi, are you coming?" "# When I lift off." "Jordi!" "I'm coming!" "# I will be free again... # if I learn... # if I learn... # if I learn... # if I learn from my mistakes. #" "Jordi, come on." "Hey!" "Can I stay?" "Sure, sure." "We were just leaving." "Have I anything pending, some more tests, or am I okay?" "No, you're set." "You just have to fast until tomorrow." "And relax, everything will be fine." "And you, as we won't give you general anesthesia for the biopsy, you can have dinner." "Well with this crappy food, I think it's a punishment." "Lleó, by the way," "Dr. Andrade asked me if you've spoken with Gavina." "When will she come?" "Did she take it well?" "Yeah, yeah... she's very strong." "I guess in two weeks or..." "more or less, she'll be here." "It's just that with the baby, and such... she'll be a bit late." "Sure." "Okay." "See you later." "Bye." "Bye." "Is something wrong?" "No." "And you?" "No, nothing." "Listen..." "Listen..." "Okay, go ahead." "No, you go first." "No, you go first, then me." "No, really, you go first, Rym." "Don't be stubborn, go ahead!" " Rym, really, you go first!" "Damn it, you say it!" "Hello, Rym." "Hello, Lleó." "Hello." "I brought you something." "What?" "Mom's handkerchief!" "Hey... you look beautiful." "Hello, folks!" "Hello." "How are you doing?" "Phew, what a mop, Jordi!" "It's been a few months since I've seen you?" "Yes." "Okay." "Let's see if I can find your records." "I hope I haven't lost them." "Still going by motorbike, Jordi?" "Yes." "You're studying mechanics, right?" "Yes." "Oh, look, here it is." "Well, what happened?" "Did you fall?" "Have you hurt the stump?" "No." "Do you have any pain?" "He has..." "No, mom!" "I'll tell him myself." "I'm not a little kid." "I have a lump in the left arm." "Does it move?" "No." "Take off your shirt, please." "Let's see." "Give me your arm." "How long have you noticed it?" "A year." "A year?" "Why didn't you alert us immediately?" "Didn't the doctor say if you noticed a lump in the ganglion to tell us?" "Yes, she told me." "And so?" "Were you scared?" "Do you have more?" "I don't think so." "Jordi, do you have more?" "I said no!" "What is it?" "It could be a bit of fat, or..." "maybe something more serious." "I don't know." "You can't tell just by touching it." "The best thing we can do is an ultrasound scan, and when the results are ready you just come, notify the nurse, and she'll find me." "Okay?" "Now I'll do you a referral note." "What happened?" "Yesterday I ate a lot and threw up." "Has it happened more times, Chris?" "No, really, it's the first time since I've been in Toulouse." "Are you sure?" "Is that the truth?" "Why would I lie?" "I'm no fool, I know what's at stake." "My sister exaggerates things, and has made me come for nothing." "Why do you think that happened yesterday, exactly?" "Because I saw Lleó." "And I saw his cancer had returned, and I was overwhelmed." "And why do you think it has affected you this way?" "What do you mean, "why has it affected me"?" "Hey, it's obvious, isn't it?" "Yes, it's obvious that it's affected you, but not to binge eat and then vomit." "Yeah." "No..." "I don't know why I did it." "It's important to know what caused it." "We should find out." "I don't know much about what you've been doing since you were discharged." "Could you leave us, please?" "Thank you." "Where do you want me to start?" "Wherever you want." "What you think is important." "I have a boyfriend." "His name's Victor." "I met him in Toulouse." "Does he know you were admitted for anorexia?" "Of course." "Tell me about Victor." "Where did you meet him?" "Can I go to the bathroom?" "Do you want to vomit?" "No, I want to pee." "Earlier my sister made me drink juice on account of all that fuss about vitamins and now I'm dying for a pee." "Can I?" "Yes." "(That's dangerous.)" "Leave me alone." "Christ, catalana!" "What are you doing there?" "Just leave me in peace!" "Okay, leave me alone!" "I was just getting some air." "Fair enough." "No!" ""No" what?" "I'm not doing anything." "Just go away!" "Okay, leave me alone!" "No." "We both know that's not going to happen." "I won't go home calmly as if this hadn't happened." "You seem a smart girl." "Complicated... but smart." "So if you jump, you'll have to do it in front of me." "In public." "Who do think you are?" "You're nobody, to come to me so!" "What are you doing?" "I almost fell because of you." "There's no one in." "What do you want, man?" "Did you leave the house keys in your bag?" "Don't you have anywhere to go?" "Any friend, or someone you trust?" "And what's it matter to you?" "I live here nearby." "Come with me, and when they open tomorrow, pick up your stuff." "Sure, man." "Look, man, if you think that just because the two of us are Catalan..." "I'd go to your house, you're confused." "Better than sleeping on the street, isn't it?" "No." "No?" "No." "Hey relax." "Relax, I only want to help you." "If you don't want a place to stay, I'll leave you my phone." "Call someone who can come and pick you up." "No, I don't..." "I don't have anyone." "Then call to a police station." "I'm sure they'll help you." "Do you have two beds?" "I have one bed." "And a couch." "Okay, then give me the phone." "Here you are." "And your ID card." "I'll send a message to my sister." "And if something happens to me, they'll know where to find you." "You sleep on the couch." "All right." "(Good evening, guys.)" "(I present a compatriot.)" "What's your name?" "Cristina." "Well..." "Cris." "Okay, Cris." "They're Federica, Olec and also Ichero." "(" "Nice to meet you.) (" "Nice to meet you.)" "I'm Victor." "Hello." "You... very pretty girl." "(" "Did I say it right?" ") (" "Very good.)" "(Thank you.)" "Sit down if you want." "Can I go to the bathroom?" "Sure." "There, on the left." "Better?" "Yes, I needed to pee." "You were talking about Victor, your boyfriend." "I just don't understand why I have to talk to you about my boyfriend, you don't speak to me about yours." "Do you have one?" "Cris." "You know what?" "I believe I've been discharged." "Yes, I vomited once, I came, I said I did it once, so we're done." "But I don't..." "I don't have to tell you anything about my private life." "Your private life has to do with your illness and how you deal with it." "Aren't you getting along with this guy?" "Isn't he just a substitute for Lleó?" "Look, Lleó threw me out of his life." "I don't know why I'd want a substitute for Lleó." "You know what I mean, Cris." "You loved Lleó." "Yeah." "The last time we spoke you were very hurt because he wanted to break up." "That's difficult to get over." "That's true, it was indeed hard to get over." "But hey, I realized that he was never satisfied," "I couldn't be the perfect girlfriend." "The only thing he cares about is his illness," "He was the one who forced me to go to Toulouse, because he's an egoist." "If you love someone, you don't want them to be unhappy." "That's why I realized that he never loved me." "Are you happy with Victor?" "Yes, with Victor I can be myself." "Sometimes one relapses, and it's not really known why." "Anyway, I'd like to see you next week, and we'll continue talking, if that's okay." "Yes, that's fine." "Anything, however small, Tell me." "Go in door D." "There's another patient." "When he leaves, you go in." "Okay." "And do I take off my shirt?" "Yes, that should be enough." "What the hell are you doing here?" "I asked you a question." "What are you doing here?" "An X-ray." "A damn check up, right?" "And I bet it annoys you to see me." "I'm sure you want to get the test over with and be off on your sodding bike." "Are they giving you chemo?" "What's it to you?" "Now you care what happens to me?" "Lleó, you're not..." ""Lleó", what?" "Eh! "Lleó", what?" "Have some guts, and tell us why you haven't come to see us in all this time." "What for?" "What good would it do, now?" "To understand how you can be such a bastard!" "I'm not a bastard!" "So what the hell are you?" "What the hell are you?" "I dont recognize you." "You don't understand." ""You don't understand."" ""You don't understand," what?" "About life on the outside!" ""About life on the outside"." "What it's like when you leave here." "Because here you're the great king, Lleó, but outside they'll just ignore you," "And you reinvent yourself, or else they walk all over you." "And that's what you've done, right?" "Reinvent yourself and walk all over us." "Go outside, and then we'll talk." "I 'd love to get out, but I can't, idiot!" "I have cancer again!" "I have a damn cancer again!" "But what I do know is that when I leave here," "I'll never be a shit like you." "You disgust me!" "The world doesn't revolve around you, Lleó." "You don't understand at all." "Jordi, man, if you're going into hospital it's not very smart of you to quarrel with Lleó." "They won't admit me." "It'll be benign." "Man, you can't fool me." "You know that." "You're shit scared." "You're scared of losing your arm like you lost your leg." "All right, Benito?" "My blood pressure's through the roof." "They get nervous and spend money on useless tests." "And you?" "Terrific..." "I'm waiting for a useless lung capacity test." "More wasted dough." "I mean do you feel better." "Did you find strength at the cemetery?" "I found many things, but I don't think my strength lies there." "Perhaps your strength lies with the living, and not the dead, but you never know." "You can't rely on the living, Benito." "They all deceive you." "They deceive because they're afraid, afraid of the truth, but of their truth." "You should try talking to Cris." "Maybe she is your strength." "Or your sister, tell her the truth." "Benito, stop." "Stop what?" "Meddling in my life" "I just wanted..." "Always with your crappy advice, and your fine sayings." "Life isn't like you say." "It's more complicated." "I just wanted to help." "I don't need help." "Leave me alone." "Do you have cancer?" "No." "Right?" "Are you 17?" "So forget me." "I think you're going too far." "I'm no longer a child, and you treat me as if I still were." "I'm sure that on the childrens floor... you'll still have kids who'll believe your absurd stories." "The chest x-ray is fine, but to be sure, we'll do a few CT scans and a biopsy of the lump." "Scans?" "Why plural?" "Where could the tumour be?" "I don't know, Jordi." "The truth is I don't know." "Maybe the lung, maybe the arm..." "The lump under the armpit indicates that there's something close, but we can't know where." "Could it be the brain?" "It could be." "We'll do the scans to find out." "You've taken so long to tell us you had a lump, that if there are cancer cells inside, they may have gone to many places." "Do you understand?" "You mean it's cancer." "It may be nothing, Jordi." "It may be something different." "The ganglia become inflamed by many things, and spots appear on the scans for many different reasons." "For now it's just a spot, but with your background, it's important that we do the CT scans and the biopsy." "Will you have to admit him?" "Yes." "Today." "No, not today." "I have to go to the garage and tomorrow I have an exam." "I'm sorry Jordi, but we can't lose any time." "The rest can wait." "After what happened in the diagnostic room," "I don't know if you'd prefer not to be with Lleó." "No, I don't want to be with him, or near him." "All right." "I'll go and see where there's room." "Would you come with me to sign the admission papers." "I'll wait for you out there." "Sure." "Hey, are you gonna tell me or not?" "About what?" "Your face like a dog." "It's my face." "Okay, okay, I see that you... you're not the type to ask for help, right?" "You prefer to play the hero, and give advice, eh?" "Hey, Bobby?" "I feel lonely." "So do I, it's normal." "You?" "Your family comes every day!" "That doesn't mean I don't feel lonely." "And the scarf?" "It was my mothers." "She died four years ago." "Damn!" "I didn't know." "I'm sorry." "It was a car accident." "It was awful." "I don't even remember what we talked about the last time, imagine." "We didn't say goodbye." "I miss her." "I had three months to say goodbye, and the truth is that having time means nothing." "Why you miss her so much these days." "The... the cancer I have is not in the lung." "It's breast cancer." "I think if my mother was here I could talk to her, explain how I feel, I dunno." "She was my mother." "And... it scares me that because of the chemo I might not have children." "If I can help..." "To have children?" "No, no!" "Ah!" "Not that." "With us guys, it also affects the balls, the chemo." "You understand me, right?" "You know what?" "What?" "No ones ever touched the breast that I'll lose." "Well, I'll get a new one, but..." "I'll sense they're not touching the real one, as if no one would have desired it." "Seriously?" "Yes." "Come on, man!" "What?" "I don't believe you." "Why not?" "It's true, I never wanted to." "It's not that weird, eh?" "No, okay, okay!" "Well, you know what?" "I always recommend that you say goodbye properly to the body part you'll lose." "I had a farewell party for my leg." "I invited all the people who had a connection to it." "Yes, but my party would suck because only I would go." "That we can fix, right?" "Man, you..." "want to touch my boob." "No, no, but...!" "No?" "But..." "I don't know..." "I'd be a shame that... such a nice breast went without anybody touching it, that's all." "Maybe so." "Do you like them?" "It's the other one." "Oops, sorry, sorry!" "Sorry." "Well, it's enough, right?" "Yes." "Yes, sorry." "Sorry." "I think you'll like the roommate that we've chosen for you." "There you go." "Hello, señor Benito." "He seems to be asleep." "I've come to share a room with you." "Señor Benito." "Señor Benito, you have a visitor." "Benito?" "Señor Benito." "Señor Benito." "Dammit, he's not breathing!" "Nurses... please, to the emergency room." "Señor Benito." "Benito!" "Wait, let me go, mother." "No, you can't." "Let me go!" "No, you can't go, Jordi." "Of course I can." "Jordi, you can't go." "The best thing is that I go and I ask Mercero, okay?" "# Now that I can feel... # that you're with me." "# Now that you've returned to make me feel... # deep in my heart." "# It keeps the light in me... # this night." "# If you want, # make holy this night." "# You've brought the sky and the horizon..." "# Inside me." "# make me bring out without fear... # my best." "# If you want to make that this night... # the sun rises." "# If you want... # to make holy every night. #" "Good luck." "Good luck." "What's that?" "The key to our house." "I want us to live together." "And tomorrow I'll be out of this damn hospital." "Is it true that stuff you said about the pool and the guy who was talking to you?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because I need to get to know him." "I want to ask you to be my guardian." "Promise me that you'll make decisions to not extend my life if it's not necessary." "Benito has asked me to stay here until the end of the operation." "Perhaps he wants that you and Jordi talk." "I'll summon the rest of the bracelets." "I don't care a damn about the bracelets!" "Grow the hell up, dammit!" "We'll never be together again, ever!" "# Now you can believe again," "# Now you can return to trust." "# Now you can again release everything that you have to give." "# That the light has already gone out..." "# And this monster hasn't returned." "# That within you, you'll find what you have lacked." "# Don't you see it's all over?" "# that within you, nothing has changed.#" "I'm not moving from here." "Subtitles by Oliver Sanderson"