" Gay." " Gay." " Gay." " Gay." " Gay." " Gay!" "Oh, Mum!" "Does this look gay?" " Do I look gay in this?" " Yes." "Good." "Oi!" "Oi!" "Oi!" "Oi!" "Oi!" "Oi!" " Faggot!" " Loser!" " You're the faggot!" " Gentlemen!" " Are we quite finished?" " He started it!" "Mr Chmara, I believe you have an appointment in my office, and Mr Chmara, I believe you have an exclusion order." "Come off me!" "Fool!" " Mr Chmara?" "Mr Wang will show you..." " It's Wong, man." "...will show you to my office." "I'll catch you up." " Brotherly love?" " Sadly not." "Father and son." " You're new." " How can you tell?" " I'm the replacement drama teacher." " Ah!" " Ah?" "As in, "Oh, dear?"" " As in good luck." " Yo, where you at, man?" " Toilet." " Toilet?" " I'm sorry." " Everyone's going in, man." "We're late." " Yeah, I know." "I'm sorry." " Are you alright?" "I'm sweet." "I'll be down in a minute." " Who done that?" " It's just a nosebleed." " It's all over your face!" " You know what I'm like." " Ah!" "Jordan!" " Sorry, man." "It's stopped." "Got the time?" " I been waiting, man." " I tried to text." " Usual stop. 40 minutes!" " I run outta credit." "Do you want a Chupa Chup?" "What?" "I can't believe you've darked me out for some boy." " What boy?" " Go on, blatantly lie." "There's no boy." " Keep your weave on." " This ain't a weave!" " Why you being so gay for?" " Why you being so gay?" "Hey!" "Where's that Chupa Chup?" "Don't tell me you've been fired already." "That's not for another ten minutes at least." "We haven't started yet." "I can't believe this is happening to me all over again." "My first day at school and I'm worrying about the kids calling me names." "You'll be fine." "Just be yourself." "Oh, thanks, Mum." "You always know what to say." "Have you heard a word I've been saying?" " Yeah." " OK, what have I been saying?" "Am I expelled?" "I was saying that this is your last chance, that if one more teacher feels compelled to exclude you from their classes, that you will have nowhere else to go except home." "Permanently." " Ya get me?" " You're making me late." " You were late anyway." " You're making me later, innit?" "Are you gonna write me a note for the teacher?" "OK, I'm going to need help remembering your names, so we're gonna play a little game, OK?" "Each person will say their name and do a little gesture that reminds us of who they are, erm, OK?" "One second." "Right, my name is Loris." " Your turn." " Someone else first." "Who's next?" "Anyone?" " We know each other's names." " I don't know your names." "That's your problem, innit?" " We should go in, man." " You first." " You first!" "You made us late!" " Tension in the lesbian community?" " Die, Ryan." " What a put-down!" "I'm so wounded." "You're in the way." "Don't bother checking out the drama teacher." "He's even gayer than you." " Shut up!" " Is he the one from earlier?" " Bum-jumper!" " Batty rider!" "Move!" "You're late!" "Actually, your problem is that you don't know who I am." "I don't know happened to your last teacher." "You give the impression that you killed, cooked and ate them, but I am not them." "My name is Loris and I love dance and drama, and my class is not a doss so that you can get a credit, OK?" "Cos I will fail anyone who's late or does not participate." "If you have nothing to learn from me or teach me, you should leave now." "If you do not feel that you will thrive in an atmosphere of mutual respect, you should leave now." "And if you do not love dance and drama, please leave now!" "Right." "My name is Loris." "My name is..." "Karmel." "Very good." "Breakthrough." "My name is Lee." " Oh, school netball champion, yes?" " Basketball." " Dyke!" " Shut up." " Pardon me?" " Bless you." "Gay!" "Sorry." "Hay fever." " How about you go next?" " Me, sir?" " You, sir." " My name is..." "Isaac." "Hmm." "Who's next?" "My name is Jordan." " Skills!" "My name is Ryan." " Oh, further skills." "Ooh!" "My name is Tegs." " Can you tap dance?" " Sort of." " Sort of?" " Do you know any other dances?" " Absolute homosexual." " You what?" " Jordan." " You what?" " What did you say?" " What did you say?" " You got something to say?" " What?" " Least I ain't gay." "Come closer." "I'll show you who's gay!" "How about we play a game called Let's Not Get Expelled?" "I'm gonna say each of your names, OK, and you are going to show me why you've been kicked out of every class and ended up here, and no one is gonna lie because lying is even sadder than making a mistake." " How will you know if we lie?" " I'm a witch." "You first." " Me?" " Thee, Lee, who got kicked out of her class because she fell asleep in class!" "Very good!" "Clear, concise, believable." "Isaac?" "Charmed." "Ryan." "Sweet." "Karmel." "Texting in class." "Very on-trend." "Jordan." " Sociable." "Tegs." "Diva!" " Give yourselves a round of applause." " This is so gay!" "Yes, it's so gay, so we're gonna take off our gay hoodies" " and we're gonna sweat some." " Oh, we ain't gonna dance, are we?" "Hmm-hm." "To Shakespeare." "Don't tell me you lot don't like Shakespeare?" "I am shocked and surprised!" " What don't you like about him?" " It's boring, man." " It's gay." " It's too slow." " Too white." " I can't understand what they say." "But you speak Shakespeare every day." " Ever heard of the green-eyed monster?" " Jealousy." "Shakespeare said it first." "Good riddance, a charmed life, heart on my sleeve, mum's the word, in a twinkling of an eye, in a pickle, make your hair stand on end, more fool you." " All Shakespeare?" " All Shakespeare." "You speak Shakespeare every day." " Shakespeare's still gay." " And he was gay!" "Well done, Isaac." "I'm impressed." "I didn't mean gay like you're gay, I meant..." " You meant?" " I meant gay, as in..." " As in?" " You know." " You know he just said you're gay?" " Can't sneak anything past you, can we?" " You don't mind?" " Why would I?" "So, you are gay?" "I don't understand what you mean by "gay" any more." "You use the word so often." " As in homo." " Oh, as in homosexual!" "Yes." " Urgh!" " You admit it." " Why wouldn't I?" " And Shakespeare was gay?" "I was shocked." "Who knew there were two of us?" "Wait a minute, how do you know Shakespeare was gay?" " Well, we don't know exactly." " Ah!" "But he wrote 123 of his sonnets to a fair youth, a beautiful young man." "So, if Shakespeare wasn't gay, he didn't care if anybody thought he was." " He had a gay heart." " Gay heart?" " What's a sonnet?" " It's a type of poem." " Ooh!" " Leave it out." " How can you have a gay heart?" " If you don't know..." "How are you gonna dance to Shakespeare?" "I thought you would never ask, man!" "Shakespeare, the gay genius, is all about rhythm." "Life is about rhythm." "It takes rhythm to walk, rhythm to breathe, rhythm for your blood to pump through your veins, for your lips to drum out the sounds of what you are thinking and feeling, and all language, including Shakespeare, is slang." "If you showed Kidulthood to your mum with everybody going, "Oi, my size!"" "She'd be like, "What the hell are they saying?"" "What does "'Low dat, fam, she's stush!"" ""Dere's this gyal round my enz what's proper buff with a friend who is well peng." "How bout we check the runnins at her yard, do you know what I mean?" actually mean?" "All language is poetry, all movement is dance." "Check it out." "Come on." "Come on." "Ah, see?" ""I'm in a hurry."" ""I'm bored."" " "I'm..."" " I'm sexy." " "I'm street."" "Everyone is singing and dancing every second of the day, making statements, shouting out, "Here I am, this is how I feel."" "Telling you their story." "It's all dance and drama." "To be or not to be." "That is the question." "To be or not to be." "That is the question." "To be or not to be." "That is the question." "To be or not to be." "That is the question." "To be or not to be." "That is the..." "Come on." "Come on." "To be or not to be." "That is the question." "Oh!" "To be or not to be." "That is the question." "Come on." "To be or not to be." "That is the question." "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question, come on!" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# Now, to be or not to be That is the question" "Now, here we go." "Be or not to be." "That is the question." "To be or not to be." "That is the question." "Now, the shoulders." "Flick it off." "Just relax." "OK." "Now, wipe the mouth." "Oh, here we go." "Now, think." "And think." "Wipe your mouth and think." "Now, check your legs." "You're on the phone." "Wipe the mouth and think." "Check your watch, double time." "Ooh!" "Oh, yes!" "Come on, now!" "Keep going." "Will they make it?" "And it's over!" "See!" "See!" "See!" "See!" "Brap, brap, brap!" "Dance and drama!" "Dance and drama!" "Team!" "Bye-bye!" "Bye-bye!" " Sorry, I was in the shower." " My psychotic mother's cooking so she's gonna force me to eat again." "Round yours or at the rendezvous?" " Karmel?" " Lee, I'm sorry." "Go on, lie to me and tell me it ain't a boy, man, I dare you!" " Course it's a boy." " Shut up!" "Not you, babes, my ugly brother." "Course it's a boy and not you, cos she's normal." " Die, man!" " Aristos!" "Karmel, like, why you being so gay?" " Oh, my days, she hung up on you!" "Shame!" "You want us to go round and beat her up?" "Oh, 'low it, man!" "Maybe you should wear your hair down sometimes." "You got wicked hair." "Just act a bit more average." "You know what girls your age are like." "They care about what people think." "What are you saying?" "Karmel's ashamed of me?" "No." "I'm just saying it wouldn't kill you to wear a skirt once in a while." " Are you ashamed of me?" " No." " Let go!" " Lee!" " Now, that's a man-hater." " 'Low it, man." "She can't even stand to touch her own brother." "Alright." "OK, guys, guys." "Sit down." "Come on, sit down." "When did you first know?" " Hmm!" " I knew when I was about nine." "Warrior Princess." " Ah!" " Who's Xena Warrior Princess?" " What?" " Shut up!" " Who's Xena Warrior Princess?" " You never watched it?" " Erm, I was six." " I was 13." "I was, like, eight." "For me, it was all about Buffy." " Willow and Tara." "Oh, Willow and Tara!" "Am I shaking?" "Who's Willow and Tara?" "Who's Buffy?" "Oh, shut up!" "I knew in the womb." "It wasn't a birth, it was a pride parade!" "There was, like, pink balloons in the delivery room and dykes on bikes and rainbow nappies, the lot!" "Like... six months ago." " No." " Seriously, I..." " Whatever." "...thought I was a metrosexual." "My mates used to say I was a bit of a Becks, and then I realised I wasn't after Posh." "I was Posh." "Well, Posh with a penis." "I never knew I was gay, I just knew I was in love." "Aw." "I thought I was straight." "I knew I was straight." "It was just a crush." "Then I was curious, then it was just a phase, then I was all-out gay." "But really, I was a closet bisexual." "Out... but still hiding." "Then I saw the film Milk with Sean Penn and there was this one female character, this girl making history, and I thought, "What am I doing?" "I'm cooler than this."" ""This isn't a phase, this is me..." "making history."" "I always liked boys." "Hanging out with 'em, I just never wanted to kiss one." "I think I've always known." "All my life, I've always known." "I never done anything." "Never any real crushes." "Pretend ones." "Checking out boys at my best mate's, and filling out questionnaires in magazines about our ideal man, pictures on my bedroom wall." "Never anything real." "But I've always known." "And I've never said I'm gay." "OK, I've got a new step for you today." "I think you're gonna like it." "It goes..." "# Ooh, sweet form" "# Take my number" " Step, step." "I've been watching you." " Two, three, four!" " # Ooh, sweet form" "# Take my number" "Ah!" "I knew you'd like it." "I knew you'd like it." "But we have to keep things equal..." " Thank you!" "...for the ladies." "And whoever." "I live in hope." " # Ooh, chiseller" " Nah, nah, nah." "# Take my number" " 'Low that." " 'Low that?" "'Low this." "Two, three, four!" "# Ooh!" " # Chiseller - # Sweet form" "# Take my number" "Are you lot auditioning to be draught excluders or you thinking of joining in?" " We want to, sir, but..." " We don't wanna be gay." " You what?" " You saying we're gay?" " What are you saying?" " You said he's gay." " They said you're gay, sir." " Yes, but I'm very open-minded." " I really don't mind if you're not." " So, can we come in, then?" "Welcome back, ladies." "You're late." "Don't worry, boys, I won't let anyone rub up against you and make you catch the gayness." " Lee!" " Lesbian!" " Shut up!" " OK, you lot, back in line!" " Whoo!" " Back in line!" " Bags off, join the line." " This class is crazy." " Lee!" "What's wrong?" " I'm not gay." " What?" " I'm not gay." " Lee, what are you talking about?" " I'm not gay, funny, clever or cool." "You're darking me out to be with your new gay friends and doing gay stuff, and you're my best mate and I love you!" "I mean, I don't love you, like, but I love you!" "And I don't wanna lose you." " But I have." " Don't be mental." "You haven't." " Sorry." "We'll be there in five minutes." " Sir, can I speak to you?" "Sure." "Five minutes." " I spied on you." "I'm a bad person." " No, you're not." "You're just a bit mental." " Jamie." " Lee." " You alright?" " Karmel said you were cute." " Me?" " Don't worry, you're safe." "Hi." "Alright, darling?" "Hello." " Hi!" " Alright?" "Aw!" "(chuckles) You're so cute!" "Everyone is dying to meet Karmel's infamous Lee." "Alright, you're sitting next to me." "She's nervous." "It's cute." "OK, it's question time." "When and how did you first come out?" " When you tell someone you're gay." " Yeah, I know." "Last week, here, to you." "Six months ago, to my best mate." "He was drunk, so the next morning, he couldn't remember, and he was like, "I had a dream last night that you were a bender."" "And I was like, "I've had the same dream about you for the past five years."" "The first thing my mother said was, "Don't tell your father."" " I came out to my dad first." " What?" "He's in the police force." "It was definitely gonna be tricky." "He said, "Gay?" "Like your granddad?" Granddad wasn't gay!" " I mean, granddads aren't gay, right?" " Yeah, it's your granddad." "Then he said, "You know your Great Uncle Simon?"" "I'm like, "He wasn't my great uncle?" And my dad's like, "Only by marriage."" "Apparently, they had a private ceremony in 1978." "I felt totally upstaged!" "Well, it was at my sister's wedding." "It literally just came out." "My mum was, erm, talking about me having a wedding one day, and I said, "Civil ceremony," and she said, "What?"" "I had to explain that gay people can't get married, that we have to have civil partnerships." "She went all quiet, and then she said," ""Just as long as I get to wear a new hat."" "I told my mum when she was cooking, and she burned herself." "Drama." "My mother loves drama." "She is the biggest queen I know." "My mum keeps banging on about having grandchildren." "I mean, she's already got seven!" "She says, "I've got to have kids or I'll be lonely."" "I said, "I've got to have a boyfriend or I'll be lonely."" "I mean, I had a girlfriend when I was 14." "I never felt more lonely." "She keeps saying, "But you don't look gay."" "I think she wishes that I was a tranny, because then we could be girlfriends." "I am the wrong kind of gay." "Oh, don't worry, I'm the wrong kind of gay, too." "I go to clubs and they won't let me in." "Apparently, lesbians aren't supposed to be girlie." "I have to come out every single day." " You need a gay passport." " Lesbian ID." "I've come out, now can I come in?" " Yeah, Lee?" " What's a tranny?" " It's short for transgender." " I know this!" "I know this!" "Transsexuals are people that sex change, transvestites are people that dress up as the opposite sex, and drag queens and kings, they dress up for a living." " Thank you." " I need to take some notes." " Has anyone got a pen, like?" " So cute!" "So, er... what's a transsexual?" "Boys who feel more like girls, and girls who feel more like boys." " Transvestite?" " They're content with their born gender but they want to wear the clothes of the opposite sex." " Whoa, whoa, so am I a transvestite?" " No." "Lots of girls are tomboys when they're young, then they grow out of it." "I didn't." "I'm a total boy and I love it!" "Yeah, and I'm not a boy." "I like being a girl." "And that's OK, too." "Look, there are as many ways to be a girl as there are girls." "And that's yours." "OK, so what about that civil partnership thing?" " It's like marriage but for gay people." " But we mustn't call it marriage." " Straight people go mental." " Not all of them." " Gay people can't marry in church." " Who wants to?" " Me!" " It'd be nice to have a choice." "I'd kind of like just to do our own thing." "I agree." "Let them have their marriage." "I don't want them." "Why should we beg?" "Equality shouldn't be up for discussion." "Some synagogues do blessings and some churches..." " But they're not actually legal." " That's not fair." "My parents haven't spoke to me in two years." "They won't take my calls, won't answer my emails." "They blank me in the street." "I'm dead to them." "They're dead to me." "If that's what marriage and family is you can keep it." "So, do you reckon you and Kim will get that civil partnership thing?" "We've only known each other three weeks." "Are you mental?" " She is your girlfriend?" " Lee!" "What?" "Oh, my days, you're so blushing!" "She's totally your girlfriend!" " She's cute!" " Shh!" "Thank you!" "Alright." "Bye." "What?" "Hey, you know what gay people call marriage?" "Marriage, innit?" "That geezer from Torchwood is married to a bloke." "That's a civil partnership." " What do you care anyway?" "Are you gay?" " What if I was?" " Who was that geezer?" " Lee, what's going on?" "I'm standing here asking you would you care if I told you I was gay," " that's what's going on." " Of course we'd care." "We care about you, what people would say, and what they'd do." " You know what they're like." " And what would you say?" "What we'd always say." "Wear a skirt, you big lezzer!" "But if anyone else says anything, they're dead, you get me?" " You're our sister, innit?" " Even if you are a dyke." "Hey, you ain't, though, are you?" " I'm going out!" " I know that voice!" "Is that our lodger?" "It can't be our daughter, stealing out of the house like a burglar." "Oh, my God, it is our daughter!" "That is her, isn't it?" "I don't know." "It's been so long." "You got any ID, missy?" " I'm going out." " With all that make-up?" " Where to?" "Your lap-dancing job?" " Mum?" " Your boyfriend." "Pimp?" " Mum!" "We want to know where you're going and who with." "We're your family." "Why can't you talk to us?" "Oh, God, another bender agenda." "Why are we watching this homo-propaganda crap?" "Why does there have to be a lesbian in every show?" " This is too gay for me." " Turn over." "There's no boyfriend." "I'm late." " I hate my parents." "I know everyone always says that, but I really do." "I mean, why shouldn't I?" "They hate me." "And what's really pathetic is they don't even know they hate me." "No one knows they hate me." "I'm the popular girl." "The pretty girl." "The girlie girl." "The straight girl." "No one knows that every time they say, "That's so gay,"" "about a crap song or a rancid meal or an unfair situation they're talking about me." "I tell myself, "I can take a joke."" "I say it, too." "And I hate myself for it." "I hate that I'm so scared." "And I hate that..." "And I hate that I wanna cry right now." "I hate my life." "It's just so gay." "Oh, my God, Karmel!" "Darcy's transferring to our college next Monday!" " I'm living with my nan so it's nearer." " She should do drama with us!" "Can you do that?" "Transfer in the middle of the year?" "How brilliant is that?" " You whistling at my bird, mate?" " No, mate." "I was whistling at you." "Good taste!" "Oi, Lee!" " Hey, Tegsy, babes." "You alright?" " Yeah, cool." "We've been to see that new dance film." "Is it?" "We're gonna go and see that tomorrow, innit?" "It's proper amazing." "We should get Mr Dawes to take the whole class." "Brainwave!" "We'll start on him tomorrow morning." "Hey, Greedy Lee, didn't your mum ever teach you it's rude not to share?" " Who's your cute friend?" " This is Tegs." "He goes to our college." " I'm starting there on Monday." " You doing drama?" " I'm thinking about it." " I'm thinking of enrolling." "Great." "The more the merrier." "Look, uh, we gotta jump." "Laters, yeah?" "Yeah, man." "Peace." "Why have all the cute ones always got boyfriends?" " Boyfriends?" " Did you see the other one?" "He was gonna tear my head off." "Jordan?" "Oh, God, Jordan ain't gay!" "Some people think Tegs is, but Jordan?" "Oh, that's hilarious!" "Hey, Karmel, did you hear that?" "Yeah." "Hilarious." " Yeah?" " You alright?" " I'm fine." " Karmel?" " I'm on the phone." " To the lesbian?" " I'll call you back." " OK." " I'm just going to bed." " Oi!" "I'm not your doorman." "Come here!" " Yeah?" " Excuse me?" "Did you just "yeah" me?" " Hello, darling." "Have you eaten?" " "Yeah" me again, go on." "I dare ya." "Why do you say things like that, Dad?" " Lee's my friend." " Your lesbian friend." " She's not a lesbian." " Wake up." "Have you looked at her?" "My God, you are so 20th century." "Some truths are timeless, princess." "If it looks like a lesbian, acts like a lesbian, trust me, it's a lesbian." " I let you be friends with her." " Oh, thanks." "Let her into my home." "Stomping about in her Doc Martens." " She doesn't wear Doc Martens." " She can wear what she likes." "As long as she doesn't make moves on my little princess, this is a lesbian tolerance zone." "Er, excuse me?" "Where's Daddy's kiss?" "Now I know there's a recession going on." "She used to give me hugs once." "Now..." "it's like she kisses me for a dare." "God, I hate that word!" "It just sounds so sleazy!" "Les-bian." " What is wrong with "gay"?" " I like the word "lesbian"." " That's because you're straight." " It's cos my best friend's a lesbian." " Stop calling me that!" " You are, though!" " Maybe you should tell your parents." " Are you entirely mental?" "I won't have to." "It'll be around college by lunch time." "What, that we was hanging out with a bunch of mates?" " I was holding hands with a lesbian." " So was she." " Lee!" " What?" "She's your girlfriend!" " She's not my girlfriend!" " You're a lesbian, Karmel." "Lee!" " Hey, Karmel!" "I'm sorry!" " No, you're not." "You don't get it." "You think I'm a coward." "No!" "I think you're brilliant just the way you are." "Look, I don't care what people say or do, man." " People call me gay all the time!" " Oi!" "Lezzer Lee!" "Too butters to get a man, innit?" " Oi, dykey, dykey!" " We no likey!" " See?" " But you're not, though, are you?" "At the end of the day, you're gonna get married." "You're gonna be normal." "You're gonna be accepted." "If it means losing you, I don't wanna be accepted." "Karmel, I'm your sister for life." "Whatever you do, I got your back, OK?" "OK." "So, you're gonna help me find a boyfriend?" "What?" "No." " Definitely not." " Oh, no." "Ooh!" "I don't think he'd be interested." "Oh, shame, though." "Fit but too moody." " And gay." " Lee, not everyone's gay." "Hmm." "Tyler?" " Good dancer." " Nice skin." "And interested!" "Oooh!" "Ten!" "Ten!" "Ten!" "Full marks!" "Now what?" "Karmel?" " Hi, Tyler." " Alright?" "Wanna go on a date?" "Erm, well... yes." "Sweet!" "Call me." "Sorted." "Five, six, seven, eight!" "Up!" "Wipe!" "On the phone." "Here we go." " OK, now." " # Ooh, sweet form" "# Take my number" "# Ooh, chiseller" "# Take my number" "Zip!" "And up!" "Here we go, now." "One, two, three and drop." "And turn it!" "Uh, uh, uh." "And turn around!" "Huh, huh!" "And clap!" "We're gonna walk and stamp here." "Nice work, Tegsy!" "Go, Ryan, boy!" "Go, Ryan!" "Go, Ryan!" "Go, Ryan!" "And cross it over." "And think." "I think I'm funky." "OK, so you're bisexual, yeah?" " Is that a problem?" " No." "Has someone got a problem with me?" "I'm not a plastic cop-out part-time lesbian." "I just think labels are for clothes and cans of..." "Charlotte, I'm not judging you." "I just wanted to ask, er, what's it like with boys?" "Oh." "O-Oh." "Well, they're..." "I don't know." "Boys are boys, people are people." "I mean, they're bigger, sometimes." "Their hands are bigger, erm, they're hairier, their bodies are harder, their lips are definitely harder." " And then there's the smell." " Smell?" "And the stubble." "That takes some getting used to." "But basically, they're pretty much the same." " Why do you ask?" " Why?" "Nothing." "It's just I'm going on a date with a boy and I was wondering what to expect." " Does your girlfriend know?" " Who?" "Oh, Kim?" "Kim's cool." "I mean, we're only young." "We're not actually officially girlfriends yet." "Does Kim know that?" " Have you decided yet?" " Erm..." "There's legs or breasts, er, chicken breasts, erm, or chicken wings." "I think I'll go for the chicken wings." "Cool." "How about you?" "Or we could have chicken wings for two." " I'm a vegetarian." " You're a..." "Oh, man, I didn't..." "I did not know that." "I should have asked." "I'm a total muppet." "I'm so gay." "It's fine." "There's loads of veggie options." "I love it here." " You're proper nice, innit?" " You sound surprised." "Well... girls who look like you, you know, they can be a bit..." "You know?" "I-I don't know." "We've never really had a conversation." "You're always with your mate, the one that looks like a..." "Dresses like a boy." " Lee?" " Yeah." "She's a wicked dancer, though." " So are you." " Thanks." "You're fit." "Sorry." " But you are." " Thanks." " Oh, so are you." " Yeah?" "Oh, ta!" "I've been working really hard on my abs and that." "I even joined a gym three times a week." "Well, two, sometimes." "I'm gonna be a footballer." "Well, I wanna be a dancer but that's a bit gay, innit?" "So..." "Yeah, I'm gonna be a footballer." "Are you OK?" "OK." "Well, that was wicked." "You're amazing." "In a sort of... cool, mysterious way." "Sorry, did I?" "Sorry." "I only meant to say goodnight." " Get off me!" " Sorry, I wasn't..." " What's going on?" " Oh, God." "I'm not..." "l-I-I-I was just..." "Karmel, babe, talk to me, love." "You sure that boy didn't do anything to you?" "He was lovely to me." "Did your dad do something to him?" " Is it your time of the month?" " No." "Are you pregnant?" "I'll never be pregnant." "I'm going to bed." "Drama queen." "She's probably cheesed off cos you interrupted them." " Thank God." " I thought it was something serious." "At least she didn't come out with "I'm gay" or something." "That's all we need." "Gay!" " Tegsy!" " Gay!" "Batty man." "Gay!" "# The beat" "# Boys on the street, living their life" "# Knowing every move they make is right" "# The shirt that they wear" "# The part in their hair" "# How they walk, how they talk How they win their fights" "# I never knew the way to play that game" "# The boy next door Was always someone else" "# My shoes on the street Never move the same" "# I never said the way I felt" "# But see my eyes" "# They do not cry" "# The beat is strong and it loves me" "# Now watch me fly" "# I cannot die" "# The beat is strong and it loves me" "Who's a sweaty girl, then?" " Nice equipment, Tegsy, baby." " Give us a look." "Ah, man, careful with Tegsy's hardware, yeah?" "It's delicate." "He shoots..." "He scores!" " You alright?" " I'm cool." "Did you drop it?" "Whoever dropped it should pick it up." " Alright, Tegsy?" " Alright?" " What's wrong?" " Besides that hat?" "Die, Ryan!" "Have they been starting on you again?" "Have they been starting on him again?" " I'm cool." " See?" "He's cool." "We've just been bonding, like, innit, T-Man?" "Yeah, man." "You saying Tegs ain't man enough to fight his own battles?" "You're man enough to fight your own battles, Tegsy Princess." "Let go of him." " What's the matter, Jordan?" "Jealous?" " Want a little Tegsy all to yourself?" "Jordan..." "Leave him." " I'm rubbish." " You're not, you're just..." " Crap." " Getting the hang of it." " I wish you'd let me deal with them." " And get excluded again?" "That is why you got excluded from your last sixth-form college?" "Fighting?" "Wouldn't be no fight." "One punch, end of, you get me?" "I like it when you talk gangsta." "Wanna try basketball?" " Don't give up before you try." " I just don't think balls are my thing." "Remember what sir said, yeah?" "Everything's a dance." "You're good at dancing, yeah?" "Well, that's all it is, man." "Rhythm, movement, your body and the ball." "See?" "Just imagine there's music, yeah?" "Nice." "Nice." "Now move about a bit, yeah?" "Own the area, yeah?" "It's all you, it's all yours." "It's all part of you, the ground, the ball, the air." "It's all you." "You've got a fan club." "We're late." "How's it feel to be a babe magnet?" "Tell me." "You're the one always surrounded by girls." "Lee and Karmel?" "They just feel sorry for me." " Girls like sporty lads." " Do they?" "Yeah." "What happened there?" "Talk about a fit couple, Tyler and Karmel." "Not everyone likes the same fit." "Easy for you to say." "Not everyone likes who they're meant to like." "That's Darcy." "Lee and Karmel's mate." "Did you see that?" "Harsh." "Blatantly giving her air." "You know what some girls are like, proper competitive." " Tegs..." " Hi, Molly." "How does that move with the turn go?" "Does it go up on the beat or down?" "It's down." "Do it with me." "Two, three, down." "That's it." "Wicked." "You're amazing." "Thanks." "See?" "I'm just Tegs the mate." "You're not even pretending." "You don't see how some people look at you?" "At me?" " OK, routine, people!" " Face it, man." "You're cuter than you think you are." "You're amazing." "Formation!" "People!" "Dance and drama people!" "Are you ready?" "Remember, we are all dancers!" "Five, six, seven, eight!" "There we go!" "Excellent." "To the side." "On the phone." "Double-time!" "Pick it up now." "# Ooh, sweet form, take my number" " Good." "Chiseller." " # Ooh, chiseller, take my number" "Cross it over!" "That's right." "And up, here we go." "Now drop." "And..." "Cool!" "And up!" "Let's go." "And, five, six, seven, eight!" "Alright!" " Take five, everybody." " Was that right?" " It was wicked." " Yeah?" " Yeah, it was wicked." " Thanks." "Mr Tegs, we're not at home now, thank you." "Clean that up." " Yo, you OK?" " Fine." "Can I have some of your water?" " Are you stupid, blood?" " Sir!" "Sir!" " Jordan!" "Jordan!" " You're nothing, bro." "Question, do you want to stay in this class?" "Then, don't make me kick you out." "I don't like giving up on people, that's not my style, but if they give up on themselves, what's left?" "If anyone has any problems they want to discuss with me, one to one, my door is open and I'm willing to listen, and that's anyone, OK?" "Even if you think you may have done the wrong thing, I'm willing to hear why and try to understand and sort things out." "OK?" "OK." "Go." "Mwah!" "He's lucky I didn't make him puke and then eat it." "Chief!" " It's not like it's just him, though." " What?" "Come on, everyone round here thinks the same thing." "The whole college does." "At my last college, everyone thought the same." "What you chatting about, man?" " Everyone thinks I'm a freak." " I don't." "I'm a proper freak." "I can't even kick a ball." "Even girls can kick balls." "I'm a proper freak." "Before you came here, it was worse." "That's why I didn't come in." "I used to ride the bus to college every morning, right to the end of the line and just walk and bus around London." "Proper freak." " You are not a freak." " Know what the worst thing is?" "You keep getting dragged into it cos you're my mate and you're even less gay than I am." "At least I'm an honorary gay." "I'm practically an honorary straight." "I've never even kissed anyone." "You can kiss someone now if you want." "Then we can both find out." "Nah, I don't even need to find out." "I know." "I love you, Tegs." "And I love you." "But you don't want to kiss me?" "If I say no, can we still be friends?" "Well, either you do or you don't." " I'm sorry, Jordan." " No." "I'm the one that's sorry." "You hung out with me so I can be your guard dog?" "Jordan!" "Tegs?" "So, you didn't get expelled, then?" "No." "I'm afraid you're stuck with us a little bit longer." " And are you alright?" " Yeah." "Are you walking to the tube?" "I-I don't know." "We were..." "Erm..." "OK." "Leave a message, yeah?" "Safe." "Jordan?" "I'm really sorry." "Look, er, just give us a call when you get this, OK?" "Cheers." "Bye." "Your mailbox is full." "Terry?" " Terry?" " It's fine, Mum." "Do we need to find another college?" "No, it's fine, Mum." " I'm calling them up in the morning." " It's nothing to do with the college." "It was just kids playing footie in the street." "Just leave it." " Are you hungry?" " No." "Look, I don't understand it." "You're such a good boy." "How could anybody not love you?" "Mwah!" "You're man enough to fight your own battles." "I know I'm your mum, but..." "Are you sure you're not hungry?" "Know what?" "I'm starving." "Who's a fit boy, then?" " Well fit." " You what?" "I understand, Ryan, you can't just come out and say it." "Some things are just beyond words." "But if you ever wanna... you know, get together, swap some skills you know where you can find me." "Cool." "Yeah." "That'd be cool." "Jordan?" "I'm sorry I freaked out." "You ain't a freak." "And you ain't my guard dog." "Yeah, I am." "Did you miss me?" "I think someone missed you more." "See you in class, yeah?" "Don't be late." "# What's your name, boy?" "Who you running from?" "# What you done, boy?" "What you hiding?" "# What's your game, boy?" "Where you coming from?" "# Where's your gun, boy?" "Somewhere inside you" " Looking good, bro." " I'm gonna do a hundred like you." " Good skills, man." " Linus, sit." "Could I have a protein shake, Mum?" "You'll have what I give you, Superman." " Good one?" " Hmm." "I'll come with you one of these days, give you something to aspire to." " You, call me if you're missing dinner." " Standard!" "Call me anyway." "Pretend it's Mother's Day." "Every day is Mother's Day." "Morning, my good man!" " Hey, Jordan." " What's up?" "Were you just calling us?" "We were just gonna call you." "We're gonna go see that dance film this afternoon, after college." " Wondered if you'd like to come with." " I've seen it." "Look, I don't know." "I'm training, innit?" " Another day." " We hoped you'd join us for lunch." " Thanks, but I'm training lunchtime." " Molly's brother Toby is meeting us." " Sweet." " Well, yeah, he is, kind of... sweet." " Jeez, how sad do you think I am?" " Molly!" "Hey, you." " You're early." " I know, uncool." "And sweaty." "Thought I'd run past and check I had the right sixth-form college." " Hey, Tegs." " Hello, mate." "Toby, this is Jordan." "I thought so." "You're lunch, yeah?" "I mean, we're having you for..." "Having lunch with you." " Yeah?" " Jordan has to do his training." "Oh." "OK." "Well, erm, speaking of training..." " See you at the film, though, yeah?" " Film?" "That dance film." "You said it looked cheesy." "I love cheese." "I'm practically a mouse." "Text me and I'm there, yeah?" "Laters, Milly-Molly." "What?" "Party time!" "Due to good reports from the drama course, your English tutor is willing to take you back on her course." "# Ooh, sweet form, take my number" "# Ooh, chiseller, take my number" "# I'm on it like a sonnet" "You won't be sorry, sir." "We can only hope." "# Legs like Tina, dressed like Ike" "# Come and catch a ride On the back of my bike" "# You deserve a rented Benz Let me show you my hood" "# You can show me your ends Cos I'm feeling you, boo" "# And you're feeling me too" "# Making all our own rules Cos we know we fit, we two" "# Yeah!" "I'm feeling you, boo It's all about you, you, you" "# Breaking every taboo Cos we know we fit, it's true" "Peace." "# I ain't sure what sex you are" "# But you light up the city Like a shooting star" "# If that makes me a freak, boo I don't care" "# Let me be your Sonny You can be my Cher" "# I work pro bono on your case" "# Cos if I got you, babe Ain't no disgrace" "# I'm a homo, hetero, bi or metro" "# I only know I got you And I can't let go" "# Cos I'm feeling you, boo And you're feeling me too" "# Making all our own rules Cos we know we fit, we two" "# Yeah!" "I'm feeling you, boo" "# It's all about you, you, you" "# Breaking every taboo" "# Cos we know we fit, it's true Simple as!" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" " Jordan." " I'm eating out, Mum." "There's someone here to see you." "# That is the question To be or not to be" " Want to go watch television, Linus?" " Are you mental?" " Linus!" " Don't talk to Mum like that." " Sorry, Mum." "Well, go on." " Thank you." "Jordan, we've followed your progress, as you know, in the county matches and we've seen your passion and dedication for the game, so I'm here to officially invite you to try out for the youth squad." " The club youth squad?" " None other." " What about his A-levels?" " A-level." " Levels." "I'm back up to two now." " That's all brilliant." "It's very important to keep up your studies," " But are we good?" " Jordan?" "Wicked." " Apparently it's wicked." " Wicked it is." "So, what are you studying?" " English and performing arts." " Performing arts?" "That's a bit bent, isn't it?" "Watch out for those ballet boys." "You never know what you're gonna catch." " Calm down, love." " The man's a complete caveman!" "He shouldn't use that word in my house." "Shh!" "The kids are gonna hear you!" "Will you be quiet?" "Give him five more minutes then we'll go." " I don't know where he is." " Yo." " I thought you weren't coming." " Had runnings to deal with." " Sorry." " It's all good." " You live with your adoptive parents?" " Parents." "They're my parents." "Families come in different shapes and colours." "Especially mine." "Yours sounds cool, though." "They won't call an exorcist if you bring me home?" " Why do you think I'll take you home?" " You're not marrying me?" "Laters!" "Oi!" "Cheeky." "It's Lee!" "Hey, Lee!" "Hey, Karmel." "If you could pick him up..." "Fill the car up on the way." " Are you OK, lovely?" " What's wrong?" "I'm gay." "I'm gay." "Oh, love, come here." "Are you sure?" "OK." "That's my last stupid question." "Wow, what a day." "Too gay?" "OK." "Does this mean you're not gonna be a footballer?" " Why should it?" " Are you gonna tell people?" " I suppose." " Then, you ain't." "Over, flat back." "Over and back." "Over, flat back, and back." "Double-time." "Hup, two, three, four." " Mr Dawes, sir!" " You can call me Loris." " Sorry." "Mr Loris, sir." " Hold it." "Yes?" "Guess who we saw last night on the South Bank walking hand in hand with their gay lover." "I have no idea, young Mr Isaac." "Who could it have been?" "Is that your husband, sir?" "He's a bit young, ain't he?" "He moisturises." "Any other questions or can we go back to good old-fashioned minding our own business?" "Is he your husband, though?" "Are you married?" "I am married, we have a civil partnership." "Were you born gay or did you turn when you were abused, sir?" "No!" "Being gay and being abused are totally different things." "And you don't turn gay, you either are or you aren't." "That girl from Sex and the City, she turned gay and she was married." "It's not about turning." "It's about knowing who you are, being who you are and loving who you love." "Do you actually know any gay people?" " Besides Lee?" " Shut up, you knob!" "She's not gay." "How do you know?" "Are you her boyfriend?" "OK, everybody sit down." "Please?" "Thank you." "OK, how many gay people do you actually know?" "Er..." "Not as many as you." "I answered your question." "None." "Them people know better than to do their dirty business around us." " It's nasty, man." " And now the truth!" "You know gay people, they just can't tell you that they're gay." "Good!" "I don't want them to tell me." "Well, it's all going to plan, cos you are not the kind of friend people can trust with information." " Friend?" " Are you saying we've got gay friends?" " I knew there was something about you!" " Shut up!" "I'm not gay." "I'm saying that there are gay people in this school, in your family who cannot tell you that they're gay because of the way you'll respond." "There's queers in my family?" "There are gays in every family, in every school, in every class." " Yeah." " Lee!" "Oh, for God's sake!" "Me!" "I'm gay, alright?" " And me." " Lee." "Obviously." "And me." " Whatever!" " What's the matter, mate?" " Are you feeling a bit left out?" " Yeah, Mr Football Skills!" "You're so gay!" " You said I was Tegsy's boyfriend." " Cos he's blatantly in love with you." "Well, he ain't, he's in love with someone else, and I was gutted." " It's me." " And me." "And me." "What the blood-fire's going on in this place?" " It's an epidemic, bruv." " Ratidibungle!" "Seven, eight!" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" " # To be or not to be - # Ooh, sweet form, take my number" "# Ooh, chiseller, take my number" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "It's like a gay bar up in this school these days." " Shouldn't be legal, man." " It ain't, is it?" " To be gay in school." " I'm gonna google it, man." " You got credit on your phone?" " I'll tell you what's really sick." "That little pansy holding hands with Molly, trying to fool people." "Innit, though?" "If you're gonna be gay, be gay, yeah?" "At least have guts to be proud." "But you know what I mean, blood?" "Double-sick." "Double-sick." " You mad..." " Hey, what you got there, man?" "Tegsy's phone, man." "Bare gay pics!" " No way, dread!" " Blatant porn." "Check it, yeah?" "Urgh!" "Absolute sodomite!" "My eyes, man, they bleed, they bleed!" "Slew them!" "Burn, chi-chi man!" "Is this his stuff?" "Yeah." "Oh, no way!" "He's a little chi-chi boy, innit?" "Chi-chi!" "Go on, blood!" "Gay!" "Absolute gay!" "Absolute gay!" "You want some lube?" "Want some lube?" " Split up, man." " Go, go, go!" "It just got out of hand." "You can take a joke, yeah?" "Tell anyone, you're dead." "You get me?" "Dita, leave!" "Insolent bitch." "Sorry, she just wants to be sure you're OK." "Is this a performance art thing or are you on crack?" "Can I help you up?" "Or will you stab me with a dirty needle?" "I've seen you before." " You're Mr Drama Teacher's boyfriend." " Husband." "Seriously, are you OK?" "Have you had some kind of fit?" " I don't know." " I suppose that answers that." "I don't know how I got here." "I don't know who I am." "Wow, really?" "Amnesia." "I'm jealous." "Erm, do you call an ambulance for an amnesiac?" "I remember everything, I just..." "I don't know how it happened." "There's this boy, at school, at college." "He makes me do things, say things, things I don't wanna say." "Have you reported him to anyone?" "Maybe you should." "Look what it's doing to you." " It's not his fault." " Oh, dear." "It's me." "I bring it all on myself." "I can't stop myself." "I think..." "I think I might be..." "Whatever you are, it doesn't give anyone any right to make you do anything you don't wanna do, OK?" "No one has any excuse to hurt anyone else." " What if you love 'em, though?" " It isn't love if it hurts." "I read somewhere that love is a sort of madness, similar hormones or something." "Similar is not the same." "If it hurts, it isn't love, just hurt." "Have you tried talking to this person?" "I don't know how." "I've not talked to no one about none of this before." "Well, then, the only way is up." "So, what are you doing tonight?" "Don't worry, I'm straight." "OK, I'm not straight, I just don't fancy you, and I'm married." "Can your ego handle that?" "I've got some friends your age I'd like you to meet." "It's a social group where you can talk about things and no one will judge you." "Meet you on Southwark Street at six." "We'll see if we can sort things out for you." "Deal?" "Deal." " Yeah?" " Thanks for answering, geezer!" "Gimme that!" "Where you been, fool?" "We rinsed out our credit leaving messages!" " Mr Dawes is well on the warpath." " Cos of the bag?" "What bag?" "Cos you missed a lesson!" "Gimme that." "The bag weren't a problem." "Tegsy never mentioned it." "He bottled it." " Coming over later to play computer?" " No, man, I'm at home now." " I got business to run." " What business?" "Business that minds its own." "I'm out." " Ryan." " I'm going to the toilet." "Ryan." "Why you gotta start bellows the second I reach home, man?" "There's someone here to see you." "So I'm here to officially invite you to try out for the youth squad." "Ah!" " I understand." " I don't know what to say." "Well, just don't say "I'm gay", mate, alright?" "That's all I ask." "Eh?" "Listen, another lad I spoke to a couple of days ago gave me a call back and he said he was gay and do I have a problem with that?" " I said, I don't, cos I don't." " Really?" "But he's got a helluva problem if you ask me." "I mean, don't get me wrong." "I like Elton John just as much as the next bloke." "See?" "You can do something right!" "But this ain't a game for fairies, now, let's face it." "I mean, how many premier league pansies do you know?" "Eh?" "Apparently my first word was "football"." "It made my dad so happy." "As soon as I could walk, I wanted to kick a ball." "Coincidence." "As soon as I could walk, I wanted to kiss a boy." "11 years old." "It was first day of secondary school." "One look I knew." "He was dead skinny, but lovely." "And they used to beat the crap out of him." "And I used to let 'em." "I used to watch." "Till one day." "He tried to hang himself with his shirt in the changing rooms while the rest of us played football." "The ambulance came and took him away." "And people started laughing about it." "Someone took Melvin's bag and started kicking it around." "And I never said nothing." "But I knew." "I loved him." "Jordan!" "Jordan, wait!" " Ryan?" " Leave me, man." "I freaked out my first time too." "Look, it's OK." "Don't touch me!" "I ain't like them, you get me?" "I'm not like anybody!" " Try it on me!" "Come on!" " Jordan, leave him!" "I ain't finished!" "You're a waste!" "You ain't nothing, blood!" "You're weak!" "A waste, man." "Game paused." " Alright, man." "Trainers!" "Back to the game." "A third player has entered the game." "He passes it left." "Oh, he defends it." "Oh, good tackle." "Oh, never before have we seen..." "Jessica Alba, man." "Sa-weet!" "She's alright." "She's got a nice backoff." "But it's all about the Fox!" "Megan!" "Ryan?" "Kylie Minogue." "Sweet!" "So... if you were gay, like..." "I'm not gay, like." "Yeah, but if you were, like." "Yeah, but I'm not, though." "If you had to choose between gayness and death..." "I'd choose death!" "If you had no choice, yeah, who would you say was fit?" "Me!" " Besides you!" " No one's fit besides me!" " Have you not noticed?" " Fifty Cent." "Fifty Cent?" "Well, if you're gonna be with a man, it might as well be a man, innit?" "And it might as well be a man with money." "I don't know, you know?" "I reckon I'd like there to be some girl in there." "Gay!" " Who you texting, man?" " No one, man." "You got a sweet boom ting, is it?" "That's where you were, innit?" "It's just wrong, man." "Bros before hos, bruv." "Bros before hos." "You queer!" "You queer!" " You queer!" " Isaac, man, what you doing?" "He's a battyman!" "He's a dirty battyman!" "You dirty chi-chi!" "You dirty faggot queer!" " Oi, Isaac, you're drunk!" " I don't know what you mean!" "Don't talk to me, you queer!" "Lying there on my bed!" "Lying next to me!" " You queer!" " Isaac!" "You better do one, man, you know what he's like." " Isaac, man!" " I ain't!" " I know, man, just go." " I ain't!" "What the bumba, man?" "# Believe in now?" "# What do you believe in now?" "# What do you believe in now?" "# What do you believe in now?" "# What do you believe in now?" "# What do you believe in now?" "# What do you believe in now?" "# What do you believe in now?" "Ryan?" "Ryan, what happened?" " You been out celebrating?" " Yeah." "Dad's well proud of you." "Yeah, I know." "And so am I, you know?" "And I always will be, no matter what." "Yeah." "No matter what, Ryan." " What are you saying?" " Nothing." " Like there's something wrong with me." " Ryan, calm down, OK?" "There is nothing wrong with you." "I'm just saying we're proud, that's all." "You should be proud of yourself." "Yeah, I know." " You absolute..." "Right..." "Dead arm, blood!" " Let's do the left arm next, yeah?" " Excuses!" "You..." "You absolute cheat!" "Stealth mode." "Come on." "Right arm, yeah." "Bring the fire!" " Alright?" " You cool?" " You snooze, you bruise!" "Faggot!" "No, come on." " I ain't gay!" " Isaac, man." "Positions!" "Five, six, seven, pump it!" "And abs." "And turn." "Isaac." "Isaac!" "What is wrong with you?" "Three, four..." "Isaac!" "Ryan?" "What are you..." "Up, two, three and back." "Up, two, three and out." "One, two, three and kick." "One, two, three..." "What are you doing?" "Hey, Isaac!" "Isaac!" "Up!" "You have got exactly 30 seconds to tell me what is going on here?" " He was in my space." " Since when did you have space, Isaac?" " I ain't queer!" " He's got pictures of Tegs all over!" " He's a battyman!" "You're a battyman!" " Out!" " You're a battyman!" "You are a battyman!" " Out!" "Out, Isaac, out!" "Ryan?" "Ryan." "Isaac." "Ryan's still your friend, you know." "The only thing that has changed in your relationship is you." "He weren't a battyman before." "Whatever he is now, he was before." "Trust me." "The difference is now you know him a little bit better." " Ryan, do you need to talk to someone?" " I'm talking to you, innit?" " What do you need to talk to me about?" " Nothing." "If you did need to talk to me, I would try and understand." "I'm here to help you, not to judge you." " You can't help me." " Am I expelled yet?" " What you doing?" " Out!" "Get out!" " Leave me!" " They kick you out and I kick you out!" "I ain't been kicked out." "I was suspended." "No one wants you." "Everyone kicks you out because you are animal!" "That's why your mother leave." " She left because you're a psycho!" " Animal!" " You're a psycho." "That's why she left." " Get out!" " You treat everyone crap." " Get out of my house!" " Get off me!" " You are no son of mine!" " Disrespect me." " I hate you!" "I hate you!" "Let go of me!" " Get off of me!" " Never come back!" "I hate you!" "Give me my trainers!" "I hate you!" "I hate you!" "Alright?" " Your dad go off his nut?" " He's a chief, man." "Do you want me to go get you some food or something?" " I'd let you in and that, but my mum..." " No worries, yeah?" " Sorry, man." " Yeah." "# You never did believe in invitations" "# Crashed every opening You'd care to mention" "# Don't now say you're unwelcome" "# Enjoy your evening" "# Leave the party While it still is a party" "# What do you believe in now" "You lost or something?" "Isaac?" "Why did you say you were gay that time?" " Why do you care?" " Dunno, just asking, innit?" " Oi, Lee!" " It's alright, man, I'm cool." "I said it for Karmel." " For Tegsy." " Tegsy ain't even queer." "I still had to say it though." " Did you always know... about her?" " I wish." " You wish?" " Yeah." "I wish she'd told me sooner, innit?" "We'd been best friends since we were, like, seven." " How long have you known Ryan?" " Since we were nine." "Our dads used to go to the same English class." "Obviously, it was crap." " You should talk to Ryan, you know." " I don't even know him." " Come to the gay group." " Gay group?" "You don't have to be gay." "You can just have gay family or friends, innit?" "I ain't got gay friends." "I ain't got gay nothing!" " Are you hungry?" " Dunno." "Is it Greekified food?" "# Oh-oh" "# All the years that I have known you" "# You have grown so" "# And I, I have grown just a little too" "# All the places we have been to" "# We have seen together" "# It's neverjust me or only you" "# For I am not one" "# We are not two" "# Till you become me" "# And I am you" "# Seen through your eyes" "# And felt through your skin" "# Wishing me scheming To wash and sleep in" "# Mine or yours to wrap yourself in" "# To keep you warm" "# When my arms cannot be found" "# To help you remember That I'm always here" "# Even though I'm not around" "# I am not one" "# We are not two" "# Till you become me" "# And I am not one" "# We are not two" " So, you ain't one of the gay lot?" " No, mate." "Ain't my scene, bruv." "Zero-tolerance zone, you get me?" "You know I'm gay, innit?" "Psyche!" "Zero-tolerance?" "Good luck with our sister, mate." "Yeah, but it ain't natural." " To you." " Being straight isn't natural to me." "Man and women were meant for each other." "Yeah, some men and some women." "Yeah, but if everyone chose to be gay, then the human race would die out." "People don't choose to be gay!" "So you're saying you started off bisexual and you chose to be straight?" " You're having a laugh." " Exactly!" "Sexuality's not a choice." " You're definitely heterosexual, right?" " What?" " Straight!" " Oh!" "1,000 per cent!" "So the human race isn't gonna die out." "We've got you!" "Not if all the girls are gay." "I mean, what is homosexuality for?" "What does it matter what it's for if it's not for you?" "OK." "What about the Bible?" "God says it's wrong." " Actually, he doesn't." " He does, it's in there." "The Bible's made up of different books written by different people, none of whom are God." "Yes, there's negative things written about homosexuality in the Bible." "But there's also beautiful gay love stories." "David and Jonathan." "Ruth and Naomi." "Jesus doesn't mention homosexuality at all." "Why do people pick out bits from the Bible that make life hard for others but miss out the bits that make life hard for themselves?" "We're not gonna blame the Bible for everything?" "Personally, I love the Bible." "The Bible loves you back if you let it." "Most religious scriptures are open to interpretation." "That's what they were written for." "If you don't like what your friend is, you can disagree without judging him." "Who's so amazing they don't judge?" "You lot are judging me." " Are we?" " Yeah, you are." "You see me and the way I dress and what I've got to say and you think I'm a knob, straight up." "Truth, yeah?" "Who here thinks I'm a straight knob?" "Exactly." "But it's not because you're straight." "It's because you're a knob." "I think you love your friend and miss him." "Love him?" " He's my mate." " And you miss him." "You miss him, fam." "Hey, bruv, where you at, man?" "Doing my thing." " We're down BFI, innit?" " We?" "Yeah." " I don't think so, bruv." " Are you sure?" "Yeah." "OK, cool, yeah." "Bye." "Oi, battyman." "Nice trainers, elephant-foot." "See how bitchy you lot are?" "Sick, ain't they?" "Borrowed them off a mate." "So, why didn't you tell me?" "Cos I wanted you to be my friend, innit?" "Is that why you picked on Tegs, like?" "To be in with me." "I can't be friends with you, man." "Not like we were." "I don't want it to be like we were." "Are you alright?" "No, I ain't!" "This is doing my head in." "My dad kicked me out." "Again?" "Innit?" "Do you want to stay at mine?" "On the floor." "No, it's cool." "Alright." "So, how do you know you're gay?" " Have you done anything with anyone?" " No!" "Don't lie." "What nasty business have you been doing?" "Nothing, man." "Nothing." "So, it never was Kylie?" "Zac Efron." "Zac Efron?" " Elijah Wood." " The Hobbit?" " And Daniel Radcliffe." " Not Harry Potter, man!" " No one's that gay!" " I am." "Jessica Alba?" "Rihanna?" "She's got a boy's haircut!" "Ah, this is deep, blood." "Harry Potter!" "Ratidibungle!" "Oi!" "Why am I sleeping on the floor?" "I'm the guest." "We can toss for it if you like." " Easy, son!" " Oi!" "Fool!" "Fool!" " Six, seven, eight!" " # To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# Ooh, sweet form, take my number" "# Ooh, chiseller, take my number" "# Yo, booty, with the back of divine" "# Come a little closer Yeah, make some time" "# Looking kinda fine Out the corner of my eye" "# See, you walk like a girl And you talk like a guy" "# Legs like Tina, dressed like Ike" "# Come and catch a ride On the back of my bike" "# You deserve a rented Benz Let me show you my hood" "# You can show me your ends" "# Cos I'm feeling you, boo" "# And you're feeling me too" "# Making all our own rules" "# Cos we know we fit, we two, yeah" "# I'm feeling you, boo" "# It's all about you, you, you" "# Breaking every taboo" "# Cos we know we fit, it's true" "# I ain't really sure what sex you are" "# But you light up the city Like a shooting star" "# If that makes me a freak, boo I don't care" "# Let me be your Sonny You can be my Cher" "# I'll work pro quo now on your case" "# Cos if I've got you, babe Ain't no disgrace" "# Am I homo, hetero, bi or metro" "# I only know I've got you And I can't let go" "# Cos I'm feeling you, boo And you're feeling me too" "# Making all our own rules" "# Cos we know we fit, we two, yeah" "# I'm feeling you, boo" "# It's all about you, you, you" "# Breaking every taboo Cos we know we fit, it's true" "# Simple as" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "# To be or not to be" "# That is the question" "Oh!" "# You steal a life and take no blame" "# Playing with hearts like it's a game" "# Dealing the cards of darkness and pain" "# You feel no shame" "# Shame, shame" "# We are all of us born naked" "# We are all of us born blind" "# For that fragile fleeting moment, we are free" "# Then you name us and you tame us" "# And you claim us and you shame us" "# Have you chained us In the name of liberty" "# Have you not been where I have been?" "# Have you not seen what I have seen?" "# Have you not dreamed What I have dreamed?" "# Are you so caged That you can't fly with me?"