"(Seagulls crying)" "You see those three houses?" "The one on the left?" "Used to be a lovely old fellow who lived there, and he had this pretty little greenfinch that used to sit on his finger and sing to him." "It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw." "(Distant rumbling)" "(Glasses tinkle)" "(Woman screams) Martin!" "Martin!" "I've got you. I've got you." "You filthy, stinking dog." "Give it to me." "Give it to me." "Come on, just give it to me!" "(Man) Let go!" "Drop it!" "Drop it!" "Give it to me." "Give it to me." "Drop it!" "(Dog barks)" " l should be in the surgery." " lt won't take long." "Let's hope her condition is grave." " This is not an efficient use of my time." " Come along, Marty." "(Woman #1 ) Mu." "(Woman #2) You shouldn't be on the airwaves if you can't do it properly." "No, I don't take calls in the afternoon." "Oh, Call Nick Wright." "Call Nick Wrong, if you ask me." "I've complained to the Culture Secretary." "Who are you?" "Mu, you remember Martin, my nephew?" "Doctor Ellingham." " He's come about your ankle." " Oh, now he comes." "Where were you yesterday when it was like a balloon?" "Yesterday?" "I thought this was an emergency." " l was worried." " Well, quick about you, then. I'm busy." "I've driven out here to see you when I should be in my surgery." "What do you want, a medal?" "I'll take your shoe off." "It's my fault. I left some post on the stairs and she slipped." " Any sensitivity here?" " No." " Here?" " No." " Here?" " l'll, er, go and put the kettle on." "I suppose it's the way of things." "You get on in years, you're...not as sure of yourself." "Maybe slip up here and there." "Start to lose your nerve." " How long have you been slipping?" " No, not me." "You." "You couldn't keep up with the big boys in London and came back to Portwenn." "You've a mild sprain. I'll prescribe painkillers and anti-inflammatories." "Oh, look at his face." "Reminds me of when I used to spit on my hankie and wipe the choc-ice off your face." "Little Marty. (Chuckles)" "(Woman #2 chuckles)" " Keep the weight off it for a few days." " Sure you won't stay for tea?" "Any problems, come and see me in the surgery." " Mrs Steel." " Doctor." "So how is she?" "Rude, but the anti-inflammatories should bring the swelling down." "No, I don't mean the ankle." "D'you think she's muddled in any way?" " Why?" " Danny, her son, thinks she's losing it." " l think she's fine." "What do you think?" " She's functioning, isn't she?" "Yes, but..." "Perhaps if I could tell him that you'd examined her?" "Auntie Joan, if you want me to assess her mental state, call the surgery..." "Martin, she is just in there." "Um..." "Have you any idea what the time is?" "Not now you've put something in front of the clock." " And I suppose that was deliberate?" " Mm-hm." "I'd say it was about..." "just after half past eight." "You know when the Second World War started?" "1919." "The Treaty of Versailles." "The Germans were humiliated." "It was a sham." "The only place that was ever going was World War Two." "Thank you, Mrs Steel." " So, it's a pass?" " She's fine." " Thank you." " Mm." " Morning there, Doc." "All right?" " Yes." "Has, er, Paul arrived yet?" " Paul?" " Paul, yeah." "Hello, Martin." "Hello." " Er, sorry." "You wanna come in?" " Erm...yes." "Erm..." "I'm glad I've bumped into you." "I've been meaning to..." "As we live in the same village, it's impressive that you haven't managed to "bump into" me before now." "Yes." "Right, well, er..." "I just wanted to say..." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry, Louisa." "I know they're here somewhere." " You were so rude." " l'm a doctor." "I cannot believe that you'd think it was acceptable to...kiss me and then imply I had a problem, when we'd both been up all night, by the way..." " l've found the, erm..." " ...drinking hospital coffee." "Having kittens over Peter's accident." "And then you start banging on about dental hygiene!" "Well...it's not on, Martin." "It's just not on." " Thank you, Mrs Tishell." " That'll be £3.98." "Three for two." " Did you want a bag?" " Erm, yes, thank you." "And, frankly, if that was supposed to be an apology, it was...pretty rubbish!" "Louisa, your change!" "Oh, dear." "Oh, I only wanted to save her some money." "It's three for two on the, erm..." "You don't think I've upset her, do you, Doc...?" "(Whines forlornly)" "Morning." "Cup of tea on your desk." "Booked in 3 appointments this afternoon, and the lab called about something." "Lots of Latin words." "Couldn't catch it all, but their number is by your phone." " Who are you?" " Paul." " Paul?" " Pauline." "Elaine's cousin." " Where's Elaine?" " Pompee." " Pompeii?" " Mm, Pompee." "Where Greg's doing Road Studies, or whatever." "Her boyfriend?" "So..." "I'm here." " What do you mean?" " What?" " lt's not for Elaine to decide..." " Relax..." " ...without consulting me." " Elaine's busy. I'm covering for her." " lt's not forever." " Would you get her on the telephone?" "No. I don't need this." "I'm just doing her a favour." " l think I've messed up my ribs." " Who've you been fighting?" " No one." " Name?" " Eddie Rix." " Eddie Rix." "Would you go through, please?" " Wallop yourself?" " You stay here." " Well, I want..." "I wanted..." " Stay." "(Door slams)" "There you are." "Does that hurt?" "Hmm." " Will it stop me going out on the boat?" " At least a couple of days." "Well, I've gotta go out." "It's all down to me now, see." "I cursed my boys for buggering off to the city, and look at it now, eh?" ""Plenty more fish in the sea," that's what we used to say." "Ha!" "That is nasty. I thought he'd need this for the shock." "He's not in shock." "Thank you." "Please leave us." " l suspect you've broken a rib." " Whoever did that wants locking away." " No one did it." " Ribs don't break on their own." "I mean I didn't see who did it." "Some guy jumped me and ran off." "You were mugged?" "No way." "In Portwenn?" "Cool." "I'll give you something for the pain." "In A  E they'll give you a report to bring back to me." " lt'll heal by itself, won't it?" " Let's see what the X-ray says." "X-ray?" "Oh, I don't wanna go to hospital." "It's not that bad." "Ow!" "Thanks, Paul, where is he?" "Eddie, heard about your misfortune." "Very sorry." "What?" "How do you...?" "Paul called me." "Nasty bruise, I gather." "Oh, it's nothing, Mark. lt's just a..." "It's just one of those things." "You say that, but d'you know how many muggings I've had in Portwenn?" " Go on, have a guess." " No." " Guess." " No." "None." "Not one." "This is a bleak day for Portwenn." "Come on, Eddie, let's get it sorted." "(Girls chatter)" "Yeah, well maybe..." "All right, Al?" " (Girls wolf-whistle)" " All right, Al?" "(Girls titter)" " All right, Paul?" " Hi, Al." "So, er, how was Penzance?" "Newlyn." "All right, yeah." "Good to be back, though." "Yeah." "Cool." "You look totally the same as you used to look in Maths." "Yeah." "Just got this cartridge for the Doc's printer." " l can put it in." " Oh, I'll do it." " So, Elaine's gone to see Greg then, yeah?" " Yeah, yeah." " She say when she's gonna come back?" " Few days." "Dunno." " She leave a message for me or anything?" " Sorry." "That's all right." " Are you Dr Ellingham?" " Do you mind?" "I've come from London." "Do you know how hard it is to get someone in a care home?" " l beg your pardon?" " My mother." "Finally, after months of waiting and paperwork and expense, it's sorted, and I come here, when I'm supposed to be in London, only to find the local GP has scuppered it." "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." "Muriel Steel." "You gave her the all-clear." "You and your aunt who, quite frankly, would do well to mind her own business." "She accepted she had to go." "Now she's refusing." "On good grounds." "Care homes exist for cases of individual need, and not for the convenience of offspring who live 300 miles away." "Convenience?" "Doctor, with respect, she's dementing." "I asked her two questions for testing cognitive impairment, and she passed." "Two questions?" "You are joking." "I speak to her every night." "Mostly she doesn't know whether it's Tuesday or Selfridges." "Whose fault is it gonna be when she's hit by a car, or uses a hair-drier in the bath?" "Look." "Look, Doctor, I understand you probably meant well, and I can forgive you that, I really can, but trust me when I tell you you've made a mistake." "We'd sort this whole thing out a lot more quickly if you'd admit it." "I attended your mother for a medical complaint." "I also informally assessed her cognitive functioning, and was satisfied that no further examination was necessary." "Forgive me or not, but that is my professional opinion and this is my surgery." "Now I'd be very grateful if you'd bugger off!" "Mark." " Just walk on by, Doc." " OK." " Plain clothes." " What?" "Our friend, five eleven, white, dark hoody, has Eddie Rix's wallet." "What's he gonna do with the credit card?" "Use it before it's cancelled, and if he does show himself, I'm here." "Right." "Would he use the card of a local man in Portwenn?" "He'd go somewhere else." "I think you're missing the visible policing thing." "In times of uncertainty, people wanna see their police force." " They wanna feel safe in their beds." " But you're trying not to be seen?" "Yes." "That's right." "That's why I'd rather not chat, if that's all right with you." "That's fine." " Oh." "All right, there, Doc?" " Bert." " Bit light on your feet there." " Mm-hm." "So is that, er, sweet Pauline, she settling in OK?" " No." " Oh, she's a lovely girl." "Dawn and I were in the Wadebridge Water Polo team, years back..." " £5.62, please, Doc." " Thank you." "Dawn, that's her mother." "Erm, better have some cashback." "£30, please." "Oh, no, Doc, sorry." "We're not accepting cards today." "Dawn is what you might say, er, very motivated." "Right. lt was Eddie Rix who was mugged." "Yeah, yeah." "Horrible business." "Never been lucky, Eddie." "I was not mugged, and you know me." "I should point out that Dawn is very ambitious for her daughter." "Please don't point anything out, Bert." "This is illogical." "It's not, actually." "When Paul was one, she threw her in the pool, trying to make her swim." " Would you explain it?" " She sank." "Not you." "Her." "What criminal with even half a brain would use that credit card in Portwenn?" "I dunno." "But I can guarantee he won't have any joy in my shop." "Can't imagine anybody finding much joy in your shop." "Not if they wanna use a card, Doc, no." "'Cause our card machine is broken." "Right." "Well, I'll just have to pay you tomorrow." "Mr and Mrs Credit have passed away." "Don't mention their name, it really hurts." "Send my love to Pauline." "I might drop up for a cup of tea later." "(Moans gently)" "(Man) Just a minute!" "Hang on a second!" "That's the way, Mrs S. You're doing just fine." " All right, Mum. lt's all right." " What?" " What were you doing heading out to sea?" " Hold her, she's very weak." " (Man) ls she all right?" " Oh, no." "(Mark) Can you go up to the lifeboat house, see if there's some trousers?" " And a towel." " l need a battery." " Later." "Let's get you dried off." " l have to see Mr Monkford." " He's at the post office, not in the water." " For a PP3 battery." " Good God." " Don't take the Lord's name in vain." " Er, Mrs Steel?" " Oh, you're not Mr Monkford." "No, it's Martin." "Ellingham." "The doctor." "She's freezing." "Right, let's get her inside." "Up to the pub, I think." "Can somebody fetch a blanket?" " Mu." "What's happened?" " l..." " Are you OK?" " l need to buy a battery." " Can we clear some space?" " Everything'll be OK." " We'll soon have you in the warm." " Tosser." "Here you go." "Nice cup of tea to warm you up." "Don't need warming up. I'm not dead." " Muriel?" "Mu, what have you been doing?" " Oh, what's it gotta do with you?" " Mu?" " She's dementing." "Nonsense." "Make sure she's not left unattended." "She's just old." "We all have our idiosyncrasies." "You should know that." "There are idiosyncrasies and there's wading into the sea to get to the post office." " Danny's seeing if the home'll still have her." " No." "That'll kill her." "Can't you do something?" "It's all arranged." "High Trees will take her." "You can't do that." "It is her worst nightmare." "It's not a decision I've taken lightly." "I've prayed long and hard for her to get better, but she hasn't." " l can't look after her, I'm in London." " Well, I can." "You can't." "She needs round-the-clock care." "I'm glad you see that now." "(Joan) I promised her that she would not have to go into a home." "Maybe it's for the best." "Right." " What are you doing?" " installing a scanner." "Don't touch that." "It's downloading a software update." "Wh...?" "No." "I download my own software updates." "Fine." "You have to back everything up first." "Whatever. I did back up first." "I have done this before." " Really?" " Worked in a surgery in Newlyn." " Did you?" " Yeah." "Oh." "No, I'm..." "I'm not happy with this." "Have you been taking the medication?" " lt's my ankle!" " She's due another dose." "Well, I'll give her something stronger." "Erm, can you supervise the medication?" "I'll do my best." " l'll get a glass of water." " Hm." "Right." " She's quite bad, isn't she?" " lt does seem that way." "I thought she was all right on her own." "I mean, I've popped in almost every morning for years." "A gradual deterioration, sometimes hard to spot." "Yes, or maybe it was there and I just didn't want to see it." "Oh." "Look at the state of her." "Well, inflammation in the elderly can sometimes look alarming." "It's not as bad as it seems." "This wouldn't have happened if she'd have been here." "If you're concerned, why weren't you watching when she went into the sea?" "This is not the place." "(Muriel mutters unintelligibly)" "Who is he?" "Excuse me." "Hey, you!" "Hold it right there!" "(Knocking at door)" " All right?" "It's his wrist." " Hiya." "Oh God." "Was it the mugger?" " No, it was me." " (Mark) He was wearing a hoodie." " (Al) Jumped me from behind." " l shouted..." " Didn't hear a thing. iPod." " Sorry." "No, I'm sorry, mate. I mean, I dunno, just..." "I just, instinct." " l flipped him." " You flipped him?" "Yeah, landed on my hand." "Shall we...?" "Oh, see you, Mark." "Well done, mate." " Oh, cheers, Dom." " l thought you were going to hospital." "Paul said you had a meeting at the hospital, so I thought I'd keep you company." " Well, I've still got patients to see, er..." " Oh, I don't mind waiting." " That meeting's not till much later." " No problem." "Oh." "(Mark) Having no girlfriend or family, if I should need care, who's gonna run me to the hospital and whatnot?" "That's why you have to cherish your friends, like old Mrs S and your Aunt Joan." "And you and me. I can see us in old age, can't you?" "Looking in on each other." "If you get a girlfriend, that'd be fine as well." "Although..." "I have to say I admire you on that front." "You're not needy." "You don't pine for the opposite sex." "Are you, er...?" " No." " Just a bit?" " No." " No problem if you were." "Still be friends." "Mark, shut up." " Name?" " Dr Martin Ellingham." "I've brought a patient in with a sprained wrist." "Needs an X-ray." " Could you see him soon?" " You'll have to wait for triage." " No, I won't. I've already diagnosed him." " That's triage." " Yes, and that's what I've done." " That's not how it works." "Oh, hiya, Mark." " Hiya." " ln the wars?" "It's a jungle out there." " Mind yourself." " Coming through." "Er, excuse me." "Dr Martin Ellingham, Portwenn." "Mr Rix is my patient." " Oh, yes." " Did the X-ray show anything?" " X-ray?" " His ribs." "I looked at his burns." "Are you all right?" " What burns?" " (Pager beeps)" "Excuse me" "(People cheer)" " Best if we keep this mix-up between us." " Best thing." "Thanks." "'Ere, 'ere, 'ere, you have a pint on me." "There you go." "Cheers." " Pauline!" " What d'you reckon?" "Good, eh?" "No. I can't find a patient's records." " They'll be there." "What's his name?" " Rix." " Eddie." " Yeah." "OK." "You're looking under "R", yeah?" "Shall we start again from the beginning?" "First name:" "Edward." "Yeah?" "So, we look under "E"." "There." "See?" "No, I can't have patients' records filed under their first name." " lt was good enough in Newlyn." " What sort of surgery was it?" "A vet's?" "It's still a surgery." "Learnt a lot there, actually." "Minor ops." "Splints and things." "Could have done that sprained wrist for you." "Piece of piss." "There you go." "Edward." "Did Mr Rix bring a letter from hospital about his ribs?" "Don't think so." "Oh." "Perhaps it's filed under "L" for letter." "Or "P" for piece of paper." " (Man) They've all gotta go on." " (Woman groans)" " (Man) Be careful." "They're heavy." " (Woman) I know they're heavy. (Groans)" "Easy." " (Groans) - l'll get it." " Are you sure?" " l said I'll get it!" "Oh, what you done?" "(Screams) Eddie!" "Oh, Eddie!" "Are you all right, love?" "Oh, my Lord." "(Woman) I don't know what happened." "He was moving stuff around and..." "He has a cracked rib." "He should be in bed." "Excuse me, please." "We still have to make a living." " Sorry, Doc." " Were you unconscious long?" " Just a few seconds, I think." " l'm all right now. I..." " Just a bit woozy." " Let's have a look at this cut." "(Gulps) Mrs Rix..." " Gloria." " Could you fetch a drink of water, please?" " l could fetch him his flask of tea." " lt's for me." "Oh, right." "The blood." " l told you not to work." " And I told you I've got to." "(Yelps with pain) Thanks, Doc." "Weren't you worried that a mugger might steal all your fish?" " What?" " l saw you in the hospital." "And I've looked at your records." "You've had a catalogue of injuries in the last year." " Why didn't you tell me?" " (Man) ls he gonna be all right, Doc?" "Yeah. I'd like to see you both in my surgery tomorrow." " There's a few things I want to ask you." " l can't just..." "Shut up, do as you're told." " Mr Steel." " Dr Ellingham, I'd like to apologise." " What for?" " For my anger." "Oh." "Right." "How's your mother?" "She's worse." "And the swelling hasn't gone down." "Forgive me, I called a friend in London who is a GP." " He says we should have had her X-rayed." " Should we?" "Have you been putting weight on this?" "I'm going to write to Which?" "magazine." " She hasn't been walking." " Sure?" "Yes." " You've given her the diclofenac?" " Twice a day." "Well, I don't understand why the inflammation hasn't gone down." "Have the tablets had any effect on the pain?" " What?" " Oh..." "You have been supervising her?" "She's definitely taking them?" "I bring her the glass of water." "Well, that's not enough, is it?" "(Mrs Steel) Can't make me drink." "(Mumbles) What you doing?" " She's supposed to take them." " l don't want to." "These tablets will help you with the pain and the inflammation in your ankle, but you will have to take them." "If this medication were more critical, your negligence could have been lethal." " l don't want to go to High Trees." " You're already here." "I don't drink at night." "If you wet the bed, they send you to High Trees.." " (Danny) lt's all right." " (Mrs Steel) I have not wet the bed!" "(Danny) Of course you haven't wet the bed, Mum." "Shh." "Have you at least seen her drink?" " Have you seen her drink anything at all?" " Not as such." "I drink in the morning, as I always do." "Shh." "D'you have any rehydration salts?" "I don't know." "A diarrhoea preparation'll do." "I think your mother's been avoiding fluids at night for some time." " What?" " She's not drinking." "She's worried about wetting the bed." "Surely she must be drinking something?" "Mm. in the mornings." "Joan would take her a cup of tea or two." "That would raise her fluids, temporarily." "Make her lucid." " l found some." " Oh, thank you." " She might not be demented at all?" " Well, let's wait and see." "Mrs Steel, I need to see you drink this." " No." " Come on." "Come on!" "Come on, Mum, it'll help you." "All right, we need to get a drip into her." "Don't worry." "you'll feel much better very soon." " Praise the Lord." " Hmm?" "Good dog." "(Mutters unintelligibly)" " Don't do that." " What?" "That." "With that animal." "This is a doctor's surgery." " Get it out of here." " You're not an animal, are you?" "What's your name, eh?" " What's his name?" " lt's not my dog." "Have you wormed him?" " No." " What about flea and tick?" "I can do that." " No." " Takes 2 minutes." " Get out!" "Get, get out!" " (Barks)" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Ah, Mr Rix." "Mrs Rix." "Follow me." "You've suffered a number of contusions and fractures over the last couple of years." " Well, not that many." " l've counted seventeen." "Ah." "Did you have a problem with balance?" "Vision?" "Hearing?" "No." "Don't hear me when I tell him to take the bin out." " Are you on any medication?" " None." " Are you a drug user?" " No!" "And the burns you went to the hospital with?" " Bonfire." " Cooking." " Petrol." " Hot fat." " Cooking on a bonfire?" " Barbecue." "Have you always been accident prone?" " No." " Yeah." "There's a strong possibility you have one of a number of serious conditions which would explain why you keep injuring yourself." "I've spoken to a colleague at the hospital in Truro and arranged for you to jump several queues." "You'll have an ultrasound of your carotid arteries to see whether you've had transient ischaemic attacks, which cause blackouts." "You'll have an EEG to record your brainwave activity, which would rule out epilepsy." "Or not." "But most importantly, you'll have an mri scan which will show us whether you have a primary or a secondary brain tumour." "Well, maybe it's for the best." "Don't be stupid." "Yeah." "She's right, Doc." "There's no need to go to all that fuss." "You don't seem to understand." "If you have a brain tumour, and you do nothing, you may well die." "It's nice of you to go to all this trouble." "Look, have some of my smoked mackerel pâté." "We smoke the mackerel ourselves." "Honest, we understand and we'll think about everything you said, and, um, we'll be in touch." " There you go." " Thank you." " All right, Doc?" " Oh, Mark." "How's your wrist?" "Fine." "Everyone's making a fuss of me, which is unnecessary." "All in the line of duty." "Look, I was touched by that." "But you didn't actually confront a mugger, did you?" " Technically, no, that's right." " Well, not technically, actually." "That's only one way of looking at it." "I didn't know Al wasn't the mugger, did I?" "So I did confront him, didn't I?" "The public likes to think the police are making progress on sensitive issues." " Makes them feel safe." " That's better than knowing the truth?" "I don't think folk wanna hear our friend hasn't even been sighted." " Truth is, there is no mugger." " How's that?" "I can't tell you how I know that." "Patient confidentiality." "But I do know that." "So..." "I sprained my wrist for nothing?" " Mm." " But everybody signed my card." "Lucy Holmes." "There's Rick, Bert and Al." "Lou and Dan - that's a blast from the past, those two." "There's young Peter Cronk... lt's embarrassing now." " Lou and Dan?" "is that..." " Yeah." "Louisa and Danny." "He used to bring out the old green-eyed monster in me." "You know, when I thought Louisa was "the one"." "Right." "Martin!" "Marty." "Oh, Mu is back to her old self." " Pretty annoying, then." "Mm." " Vile." " Good." " Good?" "She's fighting fit." " l'm very proud of you." " l'll drop in and see her tomorrow." "No, we're going to fetch her." "At three o'clock." "Yeah, I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with her like today." "It's like she's back from the beyond." "So, thank you." "D'you know Lou?" "Lou Glasson?" " (Lou) Yeah." " Yes." "You forget everyone knows everyone." " Martin." " Lou (!" ")." "We're going for a drink." "Celebrate." "Well, enjoy your evening." "Bless you." "I didn't sneeze." " (Al) And what did she tell you yesterday?" " (Paul) Oh, I don't know." "Nothing." "(Al) She was on the phone." "She said, "He's too shy."" "He always waits for the girl to make the move." "He's always waiting for permission." "And when you give him permission, he messes up." "She said it's...it's pathetic." "Yeah, well, I suppose I can see why she went back to her old boyfriend." " Morning, Doc." " All right, Doc?" " Morning." " Morning." " (Al) What did she tell you yesterday?" " (Paul) Oh, I don't know." "Nothing." "Thanks for telling me that, Pauline." "She was pretty blunt." "Yeah, well, you know Elaine." "Right." "She said you had a nice bum." " Al?" " Yeah?" "She was right." "Thanks." "(Phone rings)" "Portwenn Surgery." "(Knock on door)" "Doc?" " Phone call." " Oh." "Er..." "Pauline." "I gather your cousin's not coming back." "Erm, no." "Right, well l..." "I wanna be clear, I'm going to advertise her job." "Yeah, good." "'Cause I was gonna say, you know, I can't cover forever." "Oh." "Yeah." "This phone call. lt's urgent." "It's Mrs Rix." "Thank you for coming, Doctor." "We're so sorry to have troubled you." "Another accident." "Now do you see the need for proper investigation?" "He's upstairs." "Could you switch a light on or open the curtains?" "Oh, dear." "We'd, er, appreciate your discretion, doctor." "What have you done to him?" "Well, I was hoisting him up and something gave." "Don't say anything, Doc." "The boys down at the harbour, I..." "I'd never live it down." " ls this consenting?" " Uh?" "Consenting?" "He loves it." " My shoulder!" " Ah, yes." "Sorry." "Er, which one?" " Right." " OK." "Can you move it?" "No." " This hurt?" " Ow!" "Ooooooh." "It's your trapezius muscle." "I'll give you an injection of diazepam." " ls it all the injuries?" " Yeah." " And the burns as well?" " Mm." "Oh, apart from down on the harbour." " That was just a fall." " Why didn't you tell me?" " l'm sorry, Doc." " Well, you...you've gotta be more careful." "Well, it's just sometimes, in the heat of the moment," "Eddie forgets his safe word." " Don't tell him that!" " Oh, it's all right, sausage, he's a doctor." " Well, I should explain..." " No, you don't have to." "Well, we've been married a long time, you see, and...when our boys left home, we needed a bit of spark." "So, you...you don't like injections, do you?" " No." " Good." "Ow!" "And then, by chance, we found this." "Opened up a whole new world. (Titters)" "Now there's a spark." "Oh, Marty." "Oh, you look much better." " You must think you're the bee's knees." " No, I don't." "Can I see your ankle?" "Oh, the swelling's gone down considerably." "Good." "Prescribe a glass of water, and suddenly you're the cat's whiskers." " Can I ask you some questions?" " What for?" "Just routine." "Er, if I had £100 and spent seven, how much would I have left?" "It's Wednesday. lt's 3.15 in the afternoon." "Labour is in its third term of power and still hasn't done anything for the elderly." "We are in High Trees, home for old codgers, near Portwenn, and you would have £93 left, which these days, little Marty, wouldn't get you much." "Right." "Right." "Ready then?" "I'll put your suitcase in the car." "Yes." "Unless..." "What?" "Unless you could see about me staying on." "Yes, I know. I was terrified of coming here, and, well, look at it." "I can't think why I was scared." "And, er...more to the point, I didn't know what I was missing." " Well, I..." "I could ask." " Then ask." " You're sure?" " No." "There's a lot of flatulence about, and if it gets too bad, I can change my mind." "But, in the meantime, yes. I think I am sure." "Well, I'll...talk to the manager." "Well..." "Well, what am I going to do at half past eight every morning?" "You've got a farm to run." "Muriel?" "Do you want a go?" " (Joan) Good God." " Please don't take his name in vain." "Oh, Marty." "I know why she was terrified of coming here." "Why?" "Well, because I was so ridiculously frightened for her." "is that because you're getting old, too?" "Well, I wouldn't have put it quite so bluntly." "Mm." " Right, d'you want a lift?" " No." "No, I'm fine on my own." "All right." " Sorry." "No." "Erm..." " l'm terribly sorry." " Right." " Thanks." " Expensive wine." " Yes. I..." "I fancied it." "I fancy an old friend..." "I mean, I'm having an old friend over for dinner tonight so, er..." " Louisa..." " Come on, you." "Doc." "Danny." " l could eat a horse." "Come on." " OK." " Right. 'Night." " 'Night, then." "english HOH"