"Gertrud." "Gertrud." "You're still here." "I'm leaving in a moment." "Are you going to the office tonight?" "Yes - board meeting." "I'll probably go to the opera and sit in my usual corner." " What's playing?" " Fidelio." "Come here." "Let's talk a bit." " l have something to tell you." " Yes?" "I do." "Has mother been here today?" "No." "She has to get her monthly allowance." "is that what you wanted to tell me?" "No." "Come here." "Sit down." "Tell me, Gertrud." "How would you like to be a cabinet minister's wife?" "Which cabinet minister wants to marry me?" "Minister Kanning." "That's the news." "There's been talk you'd be cabinet minister." "Yes." "You were never known as one of the government's warmest supporters." "Not really, but I imagine a little opposition in the government couldn't hurt." "And you'll be that little opposition?" "On the way home l met the musical genius " "Erhard Jansson." "Isn't that his name?" "Erland Jansson." "If that's who you mean." "Yes, yes." "Erland Jansson." "is he really a genius?" " That's what they say." " But what do you think?" "You know music so well." " Do you know who I also met?" " No." "Gabriel Lidman." "I didn't mean to hurt you." " l know that." " l asked him to come visit us." " ls he going to?" " That's what he said." " He has been away a long time." " Yes, 2 years." " Three." " There you go." "Here are some letters." "Bills, I suppose." "Thank you." "There's a picture of Lidman in the newspaper." "May I see it?" "It looks just like him." "Yes." "He hasn't changed much." "Did you tell him that you're giving the celebration speech?" "He knew already." "I look forward to seeing him again." "Why did you break it off with him?" "Let's not talk about it." "No, no - that chapter of your life has been forgotten." "You said it's over and I believe you." "I've always thought your relationship to Gabriel was not my concern." "You were a free and independent woman." "You were an artist and he was a famous poet." " lt's another story." " ls it?" "Yes, of course." "What are you laughing about?" "I'm just smiling, thinking about all the poor human beings who allow themselves to love, whether they're artists or famous people or not." "Have you seen my large briefcase?" "Yes. lt's out in the hall." "Thank you." "How beautiful you are, Gertrud." "I got this mirror from Gabriel Lidman." "It should have been in the bedroom, so that I would have something to look at when I woke in the morning." " Yes, that's what he said." " Yes, I know." "Later I received something else from him - a bit less rococo - and now his mirror hangs here - with you - in your room." "May I kiss you, Gertrud?" " lt gets dark early now." " l should probably go." "I seek your lips and you give me your cheek and the door to your room has been locked up to me for more than a month." "I used to be welcome there." "I often lie awake, thinking of you." "I've thought you might be in love with someone else and I've wondered who it could be." "Damn it." "Mamma's here." "Good afternoon." " Good afternoon, Gustav." " Good afternoon, little Mamma." "Those stairs!" "Good afternoon, sweet Gertrud." "Good afternoon, mother-in-law." " Come and sit down." " Thank you." " Mamma, you're late today." " l was snoozing over a book." "Even when you're old, you still like to keep up." " What was the book?" " What was it..." "I've forgotten." " Who wrote it?" " l don't remember, but it was an artistic book." " What was it about?" " God knows. I've forgotten." "Not that I understand what they write these days." "Would you like a cup of tea, mother-in-law?" "Thank you, my sweet." "I'd rather have a glass of port." " Gladly." " Thank you." "Dear Gertrud, she is truly a sweet and good wife to you." " Yes, she is." " l tell that to everyone." " Do people ask you?" " Ask?" "No one asks." "But people gossip, you know." "Since you've been married, not a soul has said a word against her." "Up 'til now in any case." "And that old story with her and him... what was his name?" " Lidman." " That was just gossip, of course." "Of course." "They say you're going to be a cabinet minister?" "That's what they say." "What does one get a year for that?" "One has to sacrifice for one's country." "Bless you." "You'll regret it." "Think of your father, my son, think of what he sacrificed." "What did he get out of it?" "A couple of medals." "No, Gustav, mind your law firm and stop thinking of the fatherland." "That's my advice." "Mamma, I'll become a cabinet minister because I want to." "Gertrud's coming to the court ball, isn't she?" "She's completely indifferent to it." " lf you please." " Thank you." "What do you think about becoming a cabinet minister's wife?" "What shall I say, it hasn't been decided yet." "The Minister of State will call at five o'clock." "Listen, let's not forget, you have to have your money." "I'll get it." "Can't you get your mother to go?" "I've something I want to discuss with you, something serious." "Mamma dear, unfortunately, I have a meeting and Gertrud has to leave." "It's past four-thirty." "And I have so much to do." "Listen, you didn't get your money." " Thank you." "Goodbye, Gustav." " Goodbye, Mamma." "Goodbye, little Gertrud." "Goodbye, mother-in-law." "What's on your mind?" "Something I wanted to tell you for a long time and I dare not put it off any longer." "This will hurt you." "Gustav, I'll not be a cabinet minister's wife." "What are you saying?" "I no longer want to be your wife." "Gertrud, what do you mean?" "Remember what you said when you gave me the ring." "If the day ever came when one of us wanted to be free, then the other must step aside." " Do you remember that?" " Yes, I remember." "I felt a little sorrow then." "I thought we should be together our entire lives." "When I saw how much you loved me, I came to you and said I would be yours." "I wouldn't have had it any other way for the whole world." "And now you want to leave me." "Gertrud, I don't understand." "Gustav." "So much has changed." "We've changed." "I love you, Gertrud." "Love - such a big word." "There's so much you love." "You love power and honor, you love yourself, your intellectual life, your books, your Havana cigars," "and I am sure you loved me at times." "How can you say such a thing?" "You know," "when we sit here in the evening, do you realize you can sit for hours on end, staring into space without saying a word?" "I have many things to think about." " Things?" " Yes, my cases, my work." "Your work." "There we have it, you think about your work." " You believe it is indifference?" " lt's worse than indifference." "It's a lack of feeling." "A woman loves her husband above all, but for him, work comes first." "Isn't that the nature of the universe?" "Naturally, it's a man's nature to work, to create." "But work mustn't exile the woman from his thoughts." "I feel this way often, as if I have no husband at all, as if I'm just atmosphere for you." "What more do you want to get off your chest?" "That you, in a very humiliating way, show me how little I mean to you." "Am I absolutely nothing to you?" "You never guess my wishes or my thoughts." "Whether I am happy or sad is completely uninteresting to you." "I understand your reproach for being absorbed in my work." "The man I'm with must be completely mine." "I must come before everything." "I don't want to be an occasional plaything." "Yes but, sweet Gertrud, love alone is not enough in a man's life." "That would be ridiculous for a man." "Perhaps it would, but see for yourself how little I mean to you" "and how insignificant the void becomes when I leave now." "Gertrud, what are you hiding from me?" "is there someone else?" "You may call it that, if you want." " Then you're admitting it." " Yes." " Has it already happened?" " No." "But it will happen then?" "Gertrud, you're driving me crazy." "Oh, no." "The woman that can drive you crazy doesn't exist." "You don't believe that either." "Who is he?" "You don't think I'd answer that, do you?" "is it someone who wants to marry you?" "Perhaps I will sing again as before and fend for myself." "Gertrud" " Who is it?" "I can only tell you that he doesn't belong to our circle." "Where did you meet him?" "Gertrud." "Will you leave and not come back?" "No, my friend, but I feel I had to tell you now." "We can speak again about the how and why, but tomorrow we have to go to the celebration." "If you could just explain how this has happened." "Things are easier when one understands." "What more can I explain?" "I don't understand it myself." "All I know is that love has me in its clutches." "And it doesn't mean anything to you to tell me this?" "It's as if you're resigning a position." "I have suffered day and night, wondering how I should tell you." "Gertrud - l can't take this." "You took it easier than I had feared." "It went easier for both of us." "And where will you go now?" "As I've told you - tonight I'm going to the opera." "Goodbye, Gustav." " Have you been waiting long?" " Yes, too long." "Forgive me, darling." "I'll try." "Do you love me?" "You have to say it." " l love you." " Say it again." "I love you." "I love you." "We must talk seriously about this." "What I can ever be to you?" "Let me go my way." "I can never be yours anyway." "You are everything to me," " my life of desire and sorrow." " Sorrow?" "Yes, much to my sorrow I must love you as I do, though I don't understand you." "I'm nothing more than a whim for you." "You sent me roses." "That was after your first concert, two roses and a card, and I never received an answer - not one bit of thanks." "But I still received more roses." "And when we met..." "Remember our first kiss?" "I remember many kisses, a rain of kisses, kisses that went through my bones, kisses that made me gasp for breath." "I couldn't get you out of my mind." "When I saw you at the concert I had to have you." "And when I ask you to be mine completely, you retreat and yet you still say I mean everything to you." "It is you, and do you know how you became so?" "I had never heard your voice." "I had to hear you speak to know whether it was you I had to love." "So I went to see you." "I wonder how I had the courage." "Lucky I was home." "Yes, come in." "Eternal winged child and god" "Once again my heart obeys your stern call" "Yes again I've become lonely in the midst of your satisfied flock" "Here your ardent harshness may yet bring me happiness" "Darkness has formed a pearl" "Night has borne a dream" "Hidden shall I reside within" "Dazzling, white and tender" "The song must sound in the heart" "Painfully sweet and cruel" "While my sparkling pearl" "Grows in its dark room" "How beautifully you sang." "As if I had never heard the song before." "I'm tired." "I was out on the town last night." "As usual. ls that necessary to be an artist?" "I don't know. I know only that I have to." "Some of us wasted away the night together." "We ended up at a bar where we played cards with a couple of con men." "They took all our money." "Nice types - well - poetic justice." "Did you play too?" "I sat mostly, half-asleep, and meanwhile worked on a motif." "I still have it in my head." "I could make a symphony out of it, if I could pull myself together." "You shouldn't go out like that." "You're destroying yourself." "You'll stay home tonight, won't you?" " l've been invited out." " With whom?" "A guy I know." "He's arranged an apartment for a girl he likes." "Her name is Constance." "It'll be christened this evening. I'm going." "Don't go." "Why shouldn't I?" "Because I'm asking you not to." "I also asked you something once that you could've given me." "Erland, there's so much music in you that wants to get out into the world, out among people." "The way you live, it'll die, perhaps soon, perhaps sooner than you think." "Your inspirations from a smelly bar after a sleepless night " "Erland, they're worthless." "Erland - l beg you - beg you as if I were begging for my life." "Don't go." "I live as I want and must live." "It's in my blood." "Even if I did promise you to stay home, I'd go anyway." "Then it is better that you promise nothing." "I live hard because I like to." "Tomorrow is a new beginning." "Gabriel Lidman the great poet, has returned home and will be honored tomorrow." "He turns 50 as if it were some feat to turn 50." "So we'll see each other." "I'll be there too." " ls your husband coming as well?" " Yes." "The politician." "And now he'll be a cabinet minister." "Why does he bother?" "You're speaking about a man you don't know." "I'm sorry." "Before I left home, I had a long talk with him." "That's why you had to wait." "Today I have set myself free." "Now I am a free woman." " Does that mean?" " Yes." "You said I could never be yours... but Erland, I can be." "From now on I'm completely yours." " l dreamt something last night." " What did you dream?" "I was running naked through the streets, dogs chasing me." "And when they caught me, I awoke." "And I realized we two are completely alone in the world." "Give me your mouth." "Your wonderful mouth." "Where do we go now?" "Your place." "Come." "Gertrud." "Do you dare?" "I mean, if..." "Erland - l love you, Erland, and if you ask me if I dare, then I will answer you, yes, I dare." "I dare for l believe in you." "Do you care about me?" "I can never, never care about anyone else." "I just couldn't imagine living not having been with you." "Strange woman." "Who are you, really?" " l am many things." " Who?" "The morning dew, dripping from the leaves of the tree." "White clouds sailing where, no one knows." "Who else are you?" "I am the moon. I am the sky." "And what else?" "Yes, I am a mouth." "A mouth seeking another's mouth." "Sounds like a dream." "It is a dream." "Life is a dream." " Life?" " Yes." "Life is a long, long chain of dreams, drifting into one another." " And the mouth you spoke of?" " A dream." "And the mouth you seek?" "Also a dream." "Play something." " What shall I play?" " A nocturne." "Debussy's." "No, your own." "Coming home from the office so many thoughts raced through my head." "How a person can dream his life away, while others busily rush around." "Slowly and helplessly, life slips through our hands, whatever we do." "I thought how the dearest and sweetest in my own life was now slipping through my hands" "without my being able to understand why or explain how it had happened." "I was reminded of an old verse." "It went:" ""Pay attention to the treasure God has sent you, don't let it slip through your hands."" "We're never attentive enough to what we possess and loathe to lose." "I longed for my wife, longed to walk again side-by-side through the streets with her arms in mine, as so many times before when we were happy." "Then I thought I'd go meet her at the opera." "May I help you with something?" "I am here to pick up my wife." "She may have left before the last act." "Mrs. Kanning was not here at all this evening." " Are you sure?" " Yes, I've been here all evening." " Do you know my wife?" " l should know your wife." "She has sung here." "There you are." "Oh, Erland here, with you, I'm alive again." "I can't tell you how happy I am." " Are you quite yourself again?" " Yes." "Now we shall live together." "Do you think we could live together?" "I love you." "Erland all my love awaits you now." "Gertrud." "Erland." "You'll not go to Constance's party now, will you?" "In Florabakken." "Lights ablaze today we carry" "The fire burns clearly as your words" "Our torches burn in your honor" "Be welcomed to your native soil." "See us hoist the golden candles" "Widely traveled, lofty free spirit." "Hear our pleas from the young hearts of the nation" "Give us new works from your hand" "Lights ablaze today we carry" "The fire burns clearly as words of truth" "Our free thoughts are our honor" "We'll fight proudly for all we believe" "We will exorcize the power of winter's might" "That's the goal for our future" "See us emerge from the paths of life" "Amid hope's beautiful fiery glow." "Dear Gabriel Lidman." "We are gathered here on behalf of the students and youth to honor you as the great poet of love." "Most young people today have been raised by parents who were married in church and lived an ordinary life, a life having nothing to do with love." "These past generations' idea of sexuality as something sordid and simple, has always been foreign to you." "Their doctrine of love is that true love is only thinkable with a union of heart and mind." "Your hymns to love describe two people completely devoted to each other in a love-giving and intimate life together, in perfect warmth and tenderness." "Let me cite the following lines:" ""He held fast to her mouth," ""still deeper they sank into each other." ""He felt as if he were on a journey in space" ""in the white moonlight, a red star, first faint" ""and about to end, then stronger and closer." ""lt grew and enlarged into a flaming well of fire." ""He burned without pain and the flames" ""swallowed his tongue like sour wine."" "In erotic ecstasy, people find infinity and eternity." "This is the greatest part of your erotic idea." "This is love without borders." "To this idea of love, all humankind is created and called." "Two things for me have always been and still are more important than anything else:" "these two things are Love and Thought." "You've spoken about love." "As far as thoughts go, we should have courage to think good thoughts, for good thoughts bring us to the summit of truth, and truth is the only thing worthwhile." "This thinking can lead to the truth, pure truth without predisposition." "In your search for this truth, be true to yourselves and don't compromise." "Have courage to think good thoughts." "Remember the words of the French philosopher:" ""A true soul need not hide his thoughts."" "Thank you." "Yes, we are coming - listen to our voices" "You shall know, your words have weight" "Speak strong and clear, so no one forgets the fight for the nation's new open generation" "Our minds are young and full of vigor, pure wills made from hard steel" "We shall reach every goal for which we strive" "Show us the way to yet greater goals" "Honorable Vice-Chancellor." "Ladies and gentlemen." "It is a great honor to be asked to give a speech tonight in tribute to my old friend Gabriel Lidman." "Gabriel Lidman is the aristocrat among our poets." "The most outstanding trait in his character is honesty, honesty in the great and the small." "He derides the mediocre, even when it hides beneath a noble and proper veneer." "His essence is curiosity, captivating curiosity in his exceedingly subdued appearance." "When he speaks, it is with such tranquillity, one is forced to listen." "He never becomes pathetic." "Do you feel all right?" "The torches make it warm here." "His speech can be colored with light but caustic irony which does not sting." "He loves stillness, inspirational stillness..." "Do you feel ill?" "Lidman has cultivated succinctness as an artistic form." "He never writes a word too many." "Each sentence is well considered and as sharp as a razor." "He shuns vague speech, sentimentality, false pathos and the unextraordinary." "You can sit here undisturbed." "Would you like the door to the main hall closed?" "Yes, please close it." "A Professor Nygren wishes to see Mrs. Kanning." " ls that you, Axel?" " Yes." " l thought you were in Paris." " l was, but I had an errand here at home, then Lidman." "You understand." "It was nice of you to come on a sick call." "Yes, I heard you had a terrible headache." "Look here. I have some perfectly splendid tablets that take away headaches - though they're large." " What kind are they?" " They're a Viennese concoction." " From Paris?" " Yes, all of Paris knows them." "You can hold the powder." "Could I get a glass of cold water?" "Of course." "I'll get it from there." "Professor Nygren is here, go back to the celebration." "Fine, if Mrs. Kanning thinks so." "Then..." "Yes, and I am most grateful for your care." "It was my pleasure to be of assistance." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Well?" "Just think, I already feel better." "Axel, it is so good to see you again." "You have not changed." "Neither have you the same magic illumination." "The last time we spoke you were working on a book." "Yes." "On free will." "I'm still working on it." "I'm glad you still believe in free will." "My father was a sad fatalist." "He taught us that everything in life is predetermined." "I remember what you said will is a choice." "But my father said there's no such thing as choice." "One doesn't choose, he said, not his wife or his children." "One gets them and one has them, but doesn't choose them." "Fate decides everything." "Then you know your life's destiny." "I'll choose my own husbands." "Thank you." " Plural?" " Yes." "You were in Paris." " What did you do down there?" " Studied." " Psychology?" " Yes, and psychiatry." "Lots of things are happening in those fields." " lt must be exciting." " lt is." "Some of us meet in the evening and work further on our own." " How?" " We hypnotize each other, we experiment with thought transference, and we've found a lady who has a sixth sense." "We're really happy to have her around." "Otherwise, we discuss and argue until we're blue in the face." " About what?" " Everything possible." "Psychoses and neuroses, dreams and symbols." "How I envy you." "Come to Paris and join our group." "You'd like it." "I'm sure I would, but " "That, that's the dream I had the other night." "Attorney Kanning has finished his speech, so he'll be here any moment." "It was nice to see you again, Axel." "It's too bad you have to go back so soon." "Good gracious." "Gertrud, you look better now." "I feel much better now, thanks to some wonderful pills Axel gave me." " Thank you." " Don't mention it." "The important thing is that they helped." " Goodbye and be well!" " Goodbye, Axel." "Hope to see you again soon." "I have to speak to you, now that we're alone." "Last night when I came home your door was locked." " l must have slept well." " That's impossible." "Why?" "I took a cab home from the opera." "Were you at the opera?" "That's not what you'd say if you had known that I too was at the opera?" "Right?" "You say nothing." "Do you know why?" "Because you don't want to lie." "You weren't at the opera, nor were you home." "Why do we have to talk about this?" "Do we have to?" "Yes, we do, you should know I went to the opera not to spy on you but because I longed for you and was sick with the thought of your leaving me." "I beg you, please don't say more." "Answer me, Gertrud." "Where were you yesterday?" "Gustav, after our talk yesterday, you must understand your question is meaningless." "I'm your husband, Gertrud." "I am still your husband." "I don't know you any longer." "is that you, speaking this way?" "You made a fool out of me yesterday at the opera." "You already knew what you were going to do." "Yes, I knew what I was going to do." "I fooled you to spare you." "Not out of cowardice or treachery." "You know I'm truthful." "Yes, God knows." "No woman should be so honest." "But I won't let you go, you can believe that." "Will you lock me up?" "Be reasonable." "You'll be with me tonight." "Our last night." "Then you can go wherever you choose" "and ruin your life, if that's what you wish." "You don't know what you're saying. I'm going in to rest." "Well, here you are." "How is Gertrud?" "She felt ill but she's better now." "Let's hear about you." "How does it feel to be home again?" "On your native soil." "Oh, yes - the native soil of the fatherland is all well and good - l mean the earth, the air, the fields and forests, but the people," "Kanning, the people - damn!" "I ended up in mixed company last night, somewhat mixed company, one ought to say." "Well, it doesn't matter." "I was out to enjoy myself." "So, I shouldn't take it too seriously." "Better to laugh it off." "What is it we were talking about?" "Oh yes, listen." "I want to go back to Rome." "I can't work up there." "I hear you'll be a cabinet minister." "It sure looks like it, if you believe the newspapers." "You have to." "You have to believe in something in this world." "Attorney Kanning - the Vice- Chancellor would like a word." "I'm coming." "Come sit here." "You're still young and pure, like a bride." "The light is hurting my eyes." "You look as if something unpleasant has happened to you." "Yes. I was in bad company last evening, but it was my own fault." "I don't want to think about it." "It's over." "Everything is nothing." "In the old days you always spoke of your life's work." "You've become a great and famous man, and now everything is nothing." "What's the matter, Gabriel?" "Oh, I'm feeling old." "Can you tell me, Gertrud, why did I come back here?" "I was just going to ask you the same question." "There was a kind of homesickness, especially for one street, a street I often thought about." "One spring day I walked down that street and wept in the midst of the sunshine." "Yes, I've often wept." "It's not so bad." "It eases you." "Let's speak of happier things." "You've come home a hero." "A hero?" "Yes, yes, I dare say we're probably not talking about the same thing." "In the only battle I ever cared about, I was defeated." "Gertrud, why did you leave me?" "We shouldn't talk about it now." "As I said before, I was in bad company last evening." "I ate lunch with an old school friend and it ended up with someone asking us to go to a little party at his girlfriend's - Constance." " ln Florabakken." " How did you know?" "Oh, I've heard about her." "The city is not so large." "No." "Well, I went with them." "Holier men than I have sat at the table of a courtesan." "Well, what else happened?" "Now I am curious." "What are they playing?" "What are we listening to now?" ""Song in the night" by Erland Jansson." "Of course, I heard it in Rome." "I remember I was completely moved when I noticed in the program the composer was a fellow countryman." "It's a lovely melody." "Yes, it is beautiful." "Wasn't Erland Jansson supposed to play here this evening?" "That was the talk, but I don't care. I don't like him." " You know him?" " Yes, unfortunately." "I wish I didn't." "Where did you meet him?" "I know him, too." "Gertrud, Gertrud." "Why did you leave me?" "Listen, now you're getting off the subject." "You wanted to tell me about last night's party." "I met Erland Jansson last night." "He showed up late in the night." "You didn't mind sitting at a courtesan's table." "Why should he?" "No, naturally - but I don't like him." "He boasts about things others keep to themselves." " Such as?" " He bragged about his lovers." "No, that wasn't nice." "No. ln this mixed company, in this atmosphere of drinking, playing and whoring around, he spoke aloud of his last conquest." "And he named her, her beloved name." "Gertrud, was I wrong to tell you this?" "I don't know." "I don't understand." "I know nothing." "I felt I had to, Gertrud." "I had to - had to." "You had to." "Gabriel, help me understand all this." "I don't understand it myself." "I only understand what I do - should have done." "This I don't understand." "He must have been ill." "Well, I don't believe so." "It was so horrible of him." "But he was drunk, and he's so young." "Yes, he is so young." "And he belongs to a completely different circle." "Yes, yes." "Gertrud, now you'll break it off with him?" "I love him. I love him." " That's madness, Gertrud." " Yes." "And no one can advise you, no one can help you?" "No. I've known all along it was madness, but I had so little to lose, Gabriel." "My life was so terribly lonely and empty." "Last night my life was shattered when I heard the one I loved more than anything - when I heard her name dragged through the mud by a reckless young man - one suddenly feels old." "Gertrud, I'd never thought we'd meet again this way." "Nothing happens like we think it should." "How do you think it should, Gabriel?" "Gabriel," "Gabriel, don't take it so hard." "No." "No, don't leave me this way." "Gertrud - the Vice-Chancellor asked me to say hello and that he hoped to hear you sing this evening." "And what did you tell him?" "I said I would try to convince you to sing a song or two but I didn't promise anything." "Yes, I would like to." "Where?" "In here." "Shall I have accompaniment?" "Mr. Erland Jansson has agreed to do it." " But there's no piano here?" " lt's in there." "I'll take care of it." "Over there." "Many thanks." "I'm not angry even if my heart is broken ln the midst of my hopelessness I see how cruelly you suffered and no anger, and no anger." "Even though your brow gives a youthful glow I know how heavy your heart is I've known it for a long time." "I'm not angry, my eternally lost friend." " Have you been waiting long?" " Just a few minutes." "I couldn't come sooner." "You don't look well." "I know, but I had to speak to you anyway." "Tell me, why did you collapse last night?" "I was overtired, from having quarrelled with my husband." " Was he cruel towards you?" " How could you think that?" "I mean, if he loves you, he'll be hurt if you leave him." "It's not his nature to be cruel." "Well, I hardly know him." "He seems fairly nice." "What do you have against him anyway?" "Why do you want to divorce him?" "We could be good friends just as well." "Erland, I want to go away." "That's why I wanted to meet you." "Does that mean you've come to say goodbye?" " That depends on you." " What do you mean?" "Erland - come with me." "That's impossible, Gertrud." " ls it because you have no money?" " No, I don't." "I have enough to get started." "Are you saying I should live on your money?" "Yes." "You'll despise me." "Then you don't know what love is, Erland." "I would despise myself." "You do that anyway - sometimes." "Yes I do." "I can't despise myself because I do what I have to do." "I have to confess I went to Constance's party in Florabakken after all." " l had to." " Yes, you had to - had to - that's the key word to everything." "is it just for the sake of money you won't leave with me?" "I'd have to think about it, Gertrud." "You said before we could love each other without a divorce." "That sounded ugly." "I don't understand. lt didn't embarrass you the other day." "Erland" " When will we begin to speak the same language " "Erland, my love, come away with me." "We don't need to marry." "We'll just live together to be near each other." "I love you." "Let's go away." "When you no longer love me, you can leave me." " Well - and then what?" " Then?" "Then nothing will matter." "Gertrud. I can't go with you." "I'm not free." "You said - not free?" "Yes, she's older than I." "She's meant much to me." "Helped me when things were difficult." "I can't leave her in the lurch." "Besides, she's pregnant." "And you never said a word about it." "I didn't believe it was serious between us." "What did you believe then?" "I thought you were just out for a little adventure and I saw no harm in that." "And now the adventure has passed." "Do you hate me for it?" "I love you but it's over." "I'm leaving and you'll marry." "Gertrud, come with me." " Where?" " To my place." "I love you but you don't love me back." "I no longer belong to you." "Okay..." "No, I don't love you. lf I did... I'd leave with you and think of nothing else." "I have a dream about a certain woman but it's not you." "She'd be innocent and pure." "She'd obey me and belong to me." "You're too proud." "I thought at first you had the usual pride of a fine woman." "This is worse." "Your soul is proud." "Leave me alone, Erland." "Gertrud, forgive me, let's not part as enemies." "Forgive me." "Forgive?" "I wish I believed in a God so I could ask him to protect you." "You don't believe in God, Gertrud?" "Do you?" "I don't know." "There must be a higher spirit, somewhere, otherwise so many things are inexplicable." "Well - now you must go." "There's a call for Mr. Kanning." "Just a moment, please." "By all means." "It's you, Gabriel?" "Yes, I've come to say goodbye." "I leave tomorrow." " So soon?" " Yes, and you?" " Will you stay here?" " No." "I'll leave soon enough." "I've long felt homeless here." "Gertrud." "You're leaving and I'm leaving." "Let's leave together." "Let's live together." "Gabriel - you don't know what you're saying." "Have you never on lonely nights heard my heart call out to you?" "You asked yesterday what made me long for home." "It was you, a longing to hear your voice and look into your eyes again." "How strange all this is." "I knew you were married and to whom and I thought - maybe her life is now as empty as mine." "Nothing's like one thinks." "No." "No, nothing's ever like one thinks." "Gertrud." "Did you ever love your husband?" "Love him?" "I don't know." "I was thinking about your creed, remember?" "I don't know what you mean." "No, one never remembers everything but the creed went:" ""l believe in the pleasure of the flesh and the irreparable loneliness of the soul."" "Oh yes." "That sounds like me." "I didn't forget it." "All those words at a time when I thought our dream would become a reality." "You wrenched me from our dream of happiness." "We fell apart." "So, I took refuge in the pleasure of the flesh and only that." "There, you have my marriage." "I thought so." "Gertrud." "Come with me." "No, Gabriel - for me there's only loneliness." "You've broken it off with him then" " Erland Jansson?" "I'm nothing to him." "Gertrud." "Come away with me." "How can you still believe we could breathe life into what's dead and buried?" "Come, let's sit here a moment as we so often sat together at your place." "Don't think I've forgotten all I owe you." "You taught me love's wonderful miracle." "You made me a woman with every drop of life's blood." "I belonged to you with all my senses." "We grew together and became one." "There was no shame between us." "Love cleansed me of everything, of what was low and miserable." "It opened me up to the good and beautiful." "I found in you a man with whom I could share life." "I asked myself whether I truly deserved so much happiness." "Gertrud, why did you ever leave me?" "Gabriel, do you really believe I left you?" "Don't you realize it was you who pushed me away - gently... gradually." "I have never loved another." "I believe you - as much as you could love." "But what was I to you?" "You were tired of my love." "When it became clear, I left." "Gertrud, there's truth in what you say." "Work took you away from me, but never did I want to break it off." "You couldn't break it off." "That's why it was good that I could." "Your work divided us - and honor - and fame, and money." "You desired these." "Love had become a burden for you." "You wanted the pleasure of the flesh, not love." "It's the terrible truth." "I felt it." "I'll tell you when I knew for sure." "It was during the time you hadn't had any meaningful work for a long period." "A difficult time." "For me, too." "Then one day I visited you." "And I decided to tidy up." "I wanted to write you afew words." "Some scrap paper you used for notes lay on your desk." "On one of them, you drew my profile and those words that devastated me." ""A woman's love and a man's work are mortal enemies."" "That's when I knew for certain." "And my life was ruined by a bit of scrap paper." "Ruined?" "You got what you wanted." "Nothing has been won." "No, but one must choose." "And one always loses the thing he cherishes the most." "Always." "When I realized everything..." "my heart grew old." "I was ashamed and loathed being a woman." "I saw how men who become great never know or understand love." "They look down on love." "They despise love." "You had become like them." "And I don't love you." "Gertrud." "My life is those three years you loved me." "You left me." "How could you?" "How could you?" "I knew it would hurt you." "I knew from your letter." "It hurt more than I had thought." "You became great but for me you are as cold as stone." "I want pure, warm blood." "I don't care about greatness." "There's no greatness, Gertrud." "The night is long, space endless but the earth is small and people are small." "What I remember from my life is my love for you." "You taught me love is everything." "We shouldn't be alone." "I have been alone much too much." "We shouldn't be many." "One needs to be two." "Gertrud, we two belong together." "Yes, one should be two." "To think you understand that, now that it's too late." "It's never too late." "Come away with me." "We'll live in a house by the sea and nothing or no one shall separate us." "Nothing but death." "There's no happiness in love." "Love is suffering." "Love is unhappiness." "Gabriel, an empty space is in your breast." "I can't help you." "Look for nothing from me." "Too late and in vain." "My life's epitaph - in vain." "You must excuse me." "It took some time." "Gertrud, how do you feel?" "Fine, thank you." "The Minister of State wouldn't let me go." "I've got to be going." "Wait." "We must have a glass of champagne." "374." "I'd like to speak to Professor Axel Nygren." "Axel, is that you?" "It's Gertrud." "I'm calling to tell you I'm coming to Paris." "You'll help me get registered at the Sorbonne?" "Yes, yes, I'd love to join the group you talked about." "I'll write before I come." "What's your address?" "Number 72." "Thanks." "Goodbye Axel." "See you soon." "There you are." "Gertrud, you've come just in time." " Champagne?" " Yes." "I've agreed to accept the cabinet position." " Congratulations." " Thank you." " And from me." " Thank you Gertrud." "You don't look well, dear." "You said you felt much better." "It's nothing. I'm just tired." "I'll go lie down soon." " You haven't eaten all day." " l'm not hungry." "As you wish." "So you've become a cabinet minister's wife after all." "Yes, I might as well enjoy it as long as it lasts." "Not long." "Gabriel already knows we are parting ways." " Then you told him?" " Yes." "Each of us will go his own way." "Let me begin by saying goodbye." " Goodbye Kanning." " Goodbye Lidman." "It'll be a long time before we see each other again." "Yes, I suppose it will." "Goodbye, Gertrud." "Goodbye, Gabriel." "Goodnight, Gustav." "I'll go to bed now, I'm tired." "Gertrud, I've thought it over." "I believe I've found a solution, but answer me first." "Did it happen?" "What we discussed yesterday?" " You know it did." " Yes, I know." "But Gertrud, you must not leave me." "Stay with me." "You can have your new love - since it means so much to you." "But stay with me and we'll live together as good friends." "I ask for no more." "You want me to stay because you hope and believe the severed bond between us can be renewed." " lsn't that right?" " That's right." "I'm leaving." " With your new love?" " Alone." "The new love doesn't want me." "Good God." "is there a man alive whom you love and doesn't want you?" "I don't understand." "I could stay here for his sake but I'd like to be myself now." "That's why I'm leaving." "Goodnight, Gustav." "I'm so tired... so tired." "Tell me, tell me you loved me once." "Why do you torture me?" "When we met I'd already left my love behind." "But my senses were alive and my blood flowed." "There was something between us - something resembling love." "Something... resembling?" "Leave." "Get out!" "I never want to see you again." "Never hear of you again!" "Gertrud." "Gertrud." "There's a Professor Axel Nygren here to see you." "Really?" "is it Axel Nygren?" "Show him in." "So you came on my birthday?" "Yes, I came to give you my new book." "It comes out next week." "It's a beautiful book" " RAClNE." "To remind us of our days in Paris." "Thank you, Axel." "Sit down." "Yes, I live here like a hermit, forgotten, erased." "I like it that way." "I need solitude - solitude and freedom." "Here's the paper." "Remember to wash the kitchen floor." "The kitchen floor, of course." "That's all the house help I have." "And what do you do?" "I bake my own bread, wash my chemise, mend my stockings." "I see you have a radio." "Yes, one must keep up with what's going on in the world." "I wrote to you some time ago." "Yes, your letter's here, as you can see." "You might have sent me a few words." "No, Axel, I can't use a machine to write an old friend." "Forgive me." "So do you still care about me a little?" "I've always been very fond of you. I still am." "Come." "I wonder how long it's been since we've been to a lecture together." "It must be 30-40 years." "Our friendship has lasted that long?" "A friendship that never turned to love." "But you've been a good friend to me." "You're still young, your skin is so white and smooth." "I'll get more wrinkles and my skin will turn yellow." " Do you know what I'm thinking?" " No." " Do you want your letters back?" " Yes, I would." "I'd rather not have strangers reading what were warm and good words spoken from your heart." "There you are." "Would you mind if I burned them?" "Now the letters are yours." "Do what you wish." "Have you ever thought of writing poetry?" "Yes, I have." "Actually I've written a poem, one poem when I was 16." "Here it is." "Shall I read it to you?" "It has three verses." "Read." "Just look at me." "Am I beautiful?" "No but I have loved." "Just look at me." "Am I young?" "No but I have loved." "Just look at me." "Do I live?" "No but I have loved." "Sixteen year-old Gertrud - my gospel according to love." "Remember what you said:" "There's nothing else in life but love." "Nothing." "Nothing else." "Do you still stand by those words?" "Do you regret them?" "No, I don't regret them." "I stand by what I said, there's nothing else in life but youth and love, unending tenderness and quiet happiness, Axel." "When I'm near the grave and look back on my life, I'll say to myself... I suffered much and often made mistakes, but I have loved." "You think a lot about death and the grave?" "Yes, I've already bought my resting place." "I know where l'll be laid to rest, under a mulberry tree." "Yesterday, I ordered the head stone for my grave and I decided what shall be on it." " Your name, of course?" " No, just two words." "Amor Omnia" "Love is all." "Yes." "Love is all." "The gardener has been told that only grass shall grow on my grave and in springtime I shall have anemones." "You'll come by one day, pick an anemone and think of me." "Take it as a word of love that was thought, but never spoken." "Now you'd better go, otherwise we'll end up by running off to Paris." "One day your visit will be only a memory - as all the other memories I cherish." "Sometimes I bring forth the memories and lose myself in them." "I feel as if I am gazing at a fire about to be extinguished." "Thank you, Axel." "Thanks for visiting." "Thank you for your book." "Goodbye, Gertrud."