"GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. REDCLIFFE." "OH, GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. REDCLIFFE." "JUST IN TIME FOR TEA, SIR." "WE HAVE A SERVING AS SOON AS THE BELL STRIKES 4:00." "SPLENDID, BRASSETT." "I SAY, WHAT'S THE SCORE?" "WE'VE GOT 12 TO THEIR 88, SIR." "OH." "NIP AND TUCK, EH?" "OH, YES, SIR." "VERY CLOSE." "GOOD, HARD-FOUGHT BATTLE." "OUR INNINGS, EH?" "WHO'S BATTING?" "LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY." "YOU'RE RATHER FUNNY THIS AFTERNOON." "NOW, DON'T GET ANGRY, MOTHER." "DON'T "MOTHER" ME." "I'M SORRY." "I WAS ONLY REHEARSING MY LINES." "AFTER ALL, YOU ARE MY MOTHER IN THE VARSITY PLAY, AREN'T YOU?" "AND THAT'S WHERE IT ENDS, SIR." "ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE GOING TO QUIBBLE." "IT SEEMS TO BE COMING THIS WAY." "SOMEBODY GET SOME WATER." "LET ME HELP." "OH, I'M FRIGHTFULLY SORRY, MR. REDCLIFFE." "ARE YOU HURT?" "THAT IS ONE OF THE SILLIEST QUESTIONS I'VE EVER HEARD FROM A STUDENT." "YOU HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH A HARD CRICKET BALL," "CREATING A CONDITION OF TORTICOLLIS" " A STIFF NECK, TO YOU" "THEN YOU ASK ME WHETHER I'M HURT." "WELL, I ASSURE YOU, IT WAS ENTIRELY ACCIDENTAL." "JUST A LUCKY HIT." "THAT'S ALL." "I MEAN A" "BABBS, I THINK YOU'D BETTER GO BACK TO THE GAME." "YES, BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING MORE." "AM I HURT." "DO YOU REALIZE, BRASSETT, SOMEDAY THAT YOUNG IDIOT WILL SIT IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS?" "YES, SIR." "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN." "DON'T LET IT UNNERVE YOU, OLD MAN." "COME ON, BABBS." "HIT UP SOME SIXES." "YOU CAN DO IT." "VERY WELL." "LOOK." "THERE ARE THE GIRLS." "YES, BUT OLD SPETTIGUE IS WITH THEM." "WHAT'S THE SCORE NOW?" "THAT GIVES US 60 TO THEIR 88." "JOVE." "THAT MAKES IT CLOSE, DOESN'T IT?" "IT DOES, RATHER, YES." "TEA!" "GOOD OLD TEA." "GOOD ON YOU, BABBS." "GREAT HITTING." "WELL PLAYED, BABBS." "WELL PLAYED, BABBS." "SUGAR, OLD MAN?" "WHERE'S OLD REDCLIFFE?" "MAYBE IF I BROUGHT HIM SOME TEA, HE'D CALM DOWN A BIT." "HE'S OVER THERE, BABBS." "OH, YES." "THANK YOU" "I'M EXCEEDINGLY SORRY, SIR." "ANOTHER LUCKY HIT, EH?" "YES, SIR." "I MEAN, NO, SIR." "I RATHER LIKE FIRES, DON'T YOU?" "RATHER." "NOTHING LIKE A JOLLY OLD FIRE, I ALWAYS SAY." "OH, THAT'S INTERESTING." "I'VE ALWAYS HAD A BIT OF A PASSION FOR THEM MYSELF." "REALLY?" "WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HAVE ANOTHER SPOT OF TEA..." "AND SEE WHAT'S BURNING?" "OH, PERFECT." "LORD BABBERLY." "LORD BABBERLY!" "HUH?" "WHAT HAPPENED?" "THAT IS WHAT I INTEND TO FIND OUT IN MY STUDY..." "AT HALF-PAST 10:00 IN THE MORNING." "DISGRACEFUL CONDUCT." "WORST STUDENT AT OXFORD." "DARLING KITTY" "MY DEAR KITTY." "DARLING KITTY." "KITTY, MY DARLING, I" "WANT SOMETHING, BABBS?" "NO, NO." "I JUST CAME TO BORROW MY WHITE TIE..." "YOU BORROWED FROM ME LAST NOVEMBER." "DO YOU MIND?" "I SHAN'T KEEP IT LONG." "NO, NOT AT ALL, MAN." "GO RIGHT AHEAD." "IT'S THE ONE WITH THE CHERRY STAIN ON IT." "KITTY, MY DARLING." "I SAY, JACK, WHERE DO YOU KEEP MY TIES?" "PLEASE, BABBS." "I'M THINKING." "I'M TRYING TO PUT A SPEECH TOGETHER." "AND I'M TRYING TO PUT MYSELF TOGETHER." "WHERE'S MY TIE?" "KITTY, MY DARLING." "IN ALL THIS WORLD, THERE IS NO ONE QUITE LIKE YOU." "FLATTERY WON'T HELP YOU ANY." "I WANT MY TIE." "OH, I WASN'T SPEAKING TO YOU." "I'M REHEARSING A SPEECH." "KITTY'S COMING TO LUNCH, AND I'VE GOT TO PROPOSE TO HER DIRECTLY AFTER." "THAT'S ALL VERY INTERESTING, BUT I WANT MY TIE." "I'VE GOT TO WORK FAST." "OLD SPETTIGUE'S TAKING KITTY AND AMY OFF TO SCOTLAND TONIGHT." "HE WANTS TO GET THEM AWAY FROM CHARLEY AND ME." "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" "AFRAID YOU WON'T MARRY THEM?" "NO, HE'S AFRAID THAT WE WILL." "YOU SEE, HE'S THEIR GUARDIAN." "GETS A SALARY FOR IT." "AS SOON AS THEY MARRY, HIS INCOME STOPS." "AND THERE'S MY BAG." "I KNEW I DIDN'T PAWN IT." "IF YOU DON'T MIND, OLD MAN, I THINK I'LL KEEP IT A LITTLE LONGER." "I'M GOING AWAY NEXT WEEKEND." "SO AM I." "OH, NOW, DON'T BE A BOUNDER, BABBS." "WE'LL TOSS A COIN FOR IT." "HELLO." "OH, HELLO, CHARLEY." "HAVE YOU MET YOUR AUNT ALREADY?" "NO, I'M ON MY WAY NOW." "I DREAD IT." "IT'S BAD ENOUGH MEETING AN AUNT YOU KNOW," "BUT TO MEET ONE YOU DON'T KNOW- HER NAME'S ENOUGH TO SCARE ME" " DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ." " THAT'S NOT AN AUNT." "THAT'S A CIGAR." "IMAGINE." "HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE." "IT'S NOT MY FAULT." "SHE WENT TO BRAZIL BEFORE I WAS BORN." "BE PREPARED, CHARLEY." "SHE'S PROBABLY A HIDEOUS OLD LADY WITH SUFFRAGETTE TENDENCIES." "I WOULDN'T EVEN BOTHER MEETING HER." "WELL, HIDEOUS OR NOT, SHE DID ALL RIGHT DOWN THERE." "MARRIED SOME BRAZILIAN ON HIS DEATHBED..." "AND CAME AWAY WITH MILLIONS." "MILLIONS?" "WHY, CHARLEY, WHAT ARE YOU STANDING HERE FOR?" "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU WERE A LITTLE OLD LADY..." "AND HAD TO WAIT AT THE STATION ALL ALONE?" "GO AND FETCH HER, CHARLEY." "THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME." "OH, IS THERE?" "NOW, MIND YOU, DON'T MISS HER." "YOU KNOW HOW STRICT KITTY AND AMY ARE." "IF YOUR AUNT ISN'T THERE TO CHAPERONE THEM, NO LUNCHEON." "DON'T WORRY." "I WON'T MISS HER." "OH, I SAY, JACK." "DO YOU MIND IF I BORROW A FEW OF THESE?" "I'M EXPECTING SOME FRIENDS IN THIS AFTERNOON." "OH, I'M SORRY, BABBS," "BUT WE'LL NEED EVERY DROP FOR LUNCHEON." "OH, THAT REMINDS ME." "I'VE GOT TO BE CHANGING." "WELL, THAT'S GRATITUDE- BORROWS MY TIES AND MY SWEATERS." "THE MOMENT I ASK FOR A FEW BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE" "YES, BRASSETT?" "I JUST RAN INTO MR. WIGGINS, MILORD." "HE'D LIKE YOU TO STOP BY HIS SHOP AND TRY ON YOUR VARSITY SHOW COSTUME." "OH, I HAVEN'T TIME FOR THAT NOW." "I TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO." "YOU GO FETCH THE COSTUME, BRING IT TO MY ROOMS, AND I'LL TRY IT ON LATER." "IT'S A BIT OF A DISTANCE, MILORD, WITH A BUNDLE." "I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO TAKE A CAB." "OH, A CAB." "OF COURSE." "A CAB." "UH, JUST A MOMENT." "I'LL GET IT." "OH, I SAY, CHARLEY." "COULD YOU LEND ME A HALF CROWN, PLEASE?" "SORRY, BABBS." "I'M FLAT." "I'LL GET IT FOR YOU THOUGH." "JACK?" "HMM?" "HAVE YOU, UH, HALF A CROWN?" "NOT A HA'PENNY." "JUST A MOMENT." "LEND ME HALF A CROWN, WILL YOU, BRASSETT?" "CERTAINLY, SIR." "THANK YOU." "HERE YOU ARE, CHARLEY." "OH, THANKS, OLD MAN." "HERE WE ARE." "THANK YOU, CHARLEY." "AWFULLY DECENT OF YOU." "THE CAB WILL BE TWO SHILLINGS." "KEEP THE CHANGE, BRASSETT." "OH, THANK YOU, MILORD." "THANK YOU." "THERE YOU ARE." "OH, BUT THAT'S SUCH A BOTHER, SIR." "NO BOTHER AT ALL." ""ENTERED ST." "OLDE'S COLLEGE, MICHAELMAS TERM, 1880."" "SO FAR YOUR RECORD IS MOST ADMIRABLE." "THANK YOU, SIR." "LET'S SEE NOW." "MY WORD." "YOU'VE BEEN HERE A LONG TIME." "HOPE YOU REALIZE THERE'S A REGULATION..." "WHICH SAYS A STUDENT MAY COMPLETE THE COURSE..." "IN NOT LESS THAN THREE YEARS AND NOT MORE THAN 15." "BUT I'M ONLY IN MY TENTH YEAR, SIR." "WHAT IS THIS?" "OH, I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS MARRIED, SIR." "WHEN I SAID YOU WERE TO BE RUSTICATED, I WAS WRONG." "THANK YOU, SIR." "YOU, SIR, ARE NO LONGER A MEMBER OF THIS UNIVERSITY." "YOU'RE EXPELLED!" "EXPELLED?" "OH, BUT PLEASE, SIR." "I MUST GET MY DEGREE." "YOU SEE, I'M DUE TO JOIN MY UNCLE'S FIRM IN THE FALL" "HOGARTH, HAWKS AND BABBERLY- THE FAMOUS LONDON SOLICITORS." "THEY'VE HANDLED SEVERAL SENSATIONAL MURDER TRIALS," "AND I'M SURE, MR. REDCLIFFE, IF YOU EVER HAVE OCCASION TO COMMIT MURDER," "I CAN GET THEM TO HANDLE YOUR CASE." "YOU CANNOT BRIBE ME, SIR." "LORD BABBERLY, YOU'RE EXPELLED." "OH, NO, SIR." "THEY WON'T TAKE ME IN WITHOUT AN OXFORD DEGREE." "IT'S TRADITION, YOU KNOW." "YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF ALL THAT BEFORE YOU RANG THE FIRE BELL." "BUT I DIDN'T DO IT PURPOSELY." "I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS." "I WAS UNCONSCIOUS." "JUDGING FROM YOUR SCHOLASTIC RECORD, I SHOULD THINK IT..." "EXTREMELY DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO DETERMINE WHETHER YOU WERE UNCONSCIOUS OR NOT." "I ASSURE YOU, SIR, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT." "I TRIPPED." "I" " I HAVE WITNESSES." "AND WHO ARE THE WITNESSES?" "WELL, CHARLES WYKEHAM AND JACK CHESNEY." "WYKEHAM AND CHESNEY?" "THEY'RE TWO VERY REPUTABLE GENTLEMEN." "WILL THEY TESTIFY TO THAT?" "OH, I'M SURE THEY WILL, SIR." "THEY WERE RIGHT THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED," "AND I KNOW I CAN REFRESH THEIR MEMORY." "VERY WELL." "BRING THEM HERE AT HALF-PAST 10:00 IN THE MORNING." "IF THEY CORROBORATE YOUR STORY, I'LL RECONSIDER." "IF NOT" "OH, THANK YOU, SIR." "THANK YOU SO MUCH." "GOOD DAY." "GOOD DAY, SIR." "GOOD DAY." "DID HE SAY 10:00 OR HALF-PAST?" "MY NECK!" "SO AS YOUR SOLICITOR, DONNA LUCIA, I THOUGHT IT ONLY FAIR..." "TO ACQUAINT YOU WITH THE FACTS." "AND I'M MOST GRATEFUL." "OF COURSE, I DON'T MIND CHARLEY FALLING IN LOVE," "BUT AS HIS ONLY LIVING RELATIVE, I DO HOPE IT'S THE RIGHT GIRL." "EXACTLY." "NOW, I DON'T SAY THAT THE GIRL IS A FORTUNE-HUNTER, MIND YOU," "BUT I WOULDN'T PUT IT BEYOND HER GUARDIAN." "MR. SPETTIGUE'S REPUTATION IS NONE TOO SAVORY." "IF I COULD ONLY MEET THE YOUNG LADY..." "AND JUDGE FOR MYSELF, I'D" " SUPPOSE I WENT INCOGNITO?" " SPLENDID." "YES, BUT HOW WOULD I GET ABOUT UNESCORTED?" "OH, I CAN FIX THAT." "I'LL GIVE YOU A LETTER TO MY NEPHEW, LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY," "AND ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU AROUND OXFORD." "YES?" "OH, NO." "NO." " NO?" " NO, THAT WON'T DO." "HE'S A FRIEND OF CHARLEY'S AND HE MIGHT WARN HIM." "BUT DON'T TELL HIM WHO I AM." "SAY THAT I'M, UH" "I'M, UH, MRS. BEVERLY SMITH." "RIPPING!" "OH" "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" "WELL, I'M JUST THINKING- "SMITH." "SMITH."" "RATHER AN ORDINARY NAME..." "FOR A FIRM OF OUR REPUTATION TO BE CONNECTED WITH, DON'T YOU THINK?" "WELL, HOW ABOUT MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE?" "OH, NOW- NOW, THAT'S MUCH BETTER." "THANK YOU." "THANK YOU SO MUCH." "OH, JACK?" "I SAY, JACK?" "OH, JACK?" "HELLO, CHARLEY." "DID YOU MEET MY UNCLE?" "I MEAN, YOUR AUNT?" "NO." "SHE WASN'T ON THE 11:00." "WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD." "I HOPE SHE, UH- I HOPE SHE ISN'T LOST." "SHE'LL PROBABLY BE IN ON THE 12:15." "NOW, BABBS, THAT'S NOT VERY SPORTING OF YOU." "YOU SAID I MIGHT KEEP IT OVER THE WEEKEND." "I DID NOT." "AND BESIDES, I WANT TO HAVE MY INITIALS PUT ON IT." "THAT CAN WAIT TILL MONDAY." "JACK, LOOK OUT!" "THAT'S MY BAG." "CHARLEY, THAT'S MY BAG." "LOOK OUT." "I OUGHT TO BASH YOUR CRUMPET." "YOU MIGHT HAVE CRACKED THE LEATHER." "I SAY, YOU ARE IN A TEMPER." "WHAT HAPPENED?" "DID OLD REDCLIFFE FINE YOU?" "FINE ME?" "HE'S GONNA SEND ME DOWN." "WHAT?" "YOU'D THINK YOUNG STAFFORD WOULD BE SPORT ENOUGH TO ADMIT HE'D KNOCKED YOU OUT." "HE DIDN'T KNOCK ME OUT." "I TRIPPED" "AND I'VE GOT WITNESSES TO PROVE IT." "REALLY?" "WHO?" "YOU AND CHARLEY." "ME?" "I WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR THE PLACE." "AND I WAS ON THE CRICKET FIELD." "YOU WERE BOTH SITTING ON THE TOP STEP," "AND DON'T FORGET THAT IN REDCLIFFE'S OFFICE TOMORROW." "SO THAT'S IT." "OH, NOW I REMEMBER." "WE WERE SITTING ON THE TOP STEP." "EXACTLY." "YES, AND I WAS SITTING IN YOUR LAP." "OH, STOP SPOOFING." "OH, I SAY, CHARLEY." "YOU CAN'T BE THERE TOMORROW MORNING." "OH, NO." "OF COURSE." "I SHALL BE DRAGGING MY AUNTIE ABOUT." "BUT, CHARLEY" " AND I'VE GOT TO SEE THE VICE-CHANCELLOR." "FELLOWS, YOU CAN'T DO THIS." "IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH." "IF YOU'RE NOT THERE TOMORROW, I'LL BE SENT DOWN," "AND THEN MY UNCLE WON'T TAKE ME INTO THE FIRM." "AND THEN MY FAMILY WILL SEND ME BACK TO THAT SHEEP RANCH IN NEW ZEALAND." "AND WHEN I ARRIVE THERE, THEY'LL ALL BE WAITING FOR ME AND CALLING TO ME." "WHO?" "THE SHEEP" "THIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND DIRTY, SMELLY SHEEP." "AND EVERY ONE OF THEM SAYING, "BABBS!" "BABBS!"" "WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT?" "WE WERE ONLY JOKING." "DON'T WORRY, BABBS." "WE WON'T LET YOU DOWN." "YOU BETTER NOT." "THE LAST TIME I WAS RUSTICATED," "MY FAMILY KEPT ME IN NEW ZEALAND FOR TWO YEARS." "IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN, I'LL BE A SHEEPHERDER THE REST OF MY LIFE." "SHEEPHERDER." "COME IN!" "BEG PARDON, MILORD." "I'VE JUST COME FROM MR. WIGGINS WITH YOUR COSTUME." "IT'S READY TO TRY ON." "I'LL DO IT RIGHT AWAY." "NOW SEE HERE." "YOU CAN START LAYING THE LUNCHEON TABLE AT ANY TIME, BRASSETT." "YES, SIR." "AND BRASSETT" " FETCH ME SIX-PENNY WORTH OF HAIRPINS." " HAIRPINS, MILORD?" "HAIRPINS." "VERY GOOD, MILORD." "TAKE IT OUT OF THAT HALF CROWN I GAVE YOU THIS MORNING." "YES, MILORD." "BEG PARDON, SIR." "COME IN!" "DON'T SHOUT AT ME, SON." "I'M BRINGING YOU YOUR ALLOWANCE." "DAD!" "HOW ARE YOU, JACK?" "SPLENDID, SIR." "CHARLEY, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY DAD." "DAD, THIS IS CHARLEY WYKEHAM." "HOW DO YOU DO, SIR FRANCIS?" "HELLO, WYKEHAM." "WELL, I'LL RUN ALONG." "I'LL BE IN MY ROOMS IF YOU WANT ME, JACK." "GOOD-BYE, SIR FRANCIS." "GOOD-BYE, WYKEHAM." "I SAY, YOU ARE A HANDSOME DEVIL." "NOT BAD FOR 51, EH?" "NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE IT" "GOOD-LOOKING, CHARMING, DEBONAIR." "NO NEED GOING ON, JACK." "YOUR CHECK'S ALREADY MADE OUT." "YOU KNOW, DAD, I DON'T SEE HALF ENOUGH OF YOU." "I WISH I COULD AFFORD CIGARS LIKE THESE." "WELL, CAN'T YOU?" "NO." "NOW THAT I'VE COME INTO THE FAMILY TITLE," "I HAVE ALSO COME INTO THE FAMILY DEBTS." "DEBTS?" "MM. YOU KNOW" " RED INK AND ALL THAT SORT OF THING." "I'M AFRAID, JACK, FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS..." "WE'RE GOING TO BE KNOWN AS CHARMING, EDUCATED, CULTURED PAUPERS." "WELL." "THAT RUINS ME WITH KITTY." "HMM?" "WHAT'S THAT?" "OH, NOTHING, NOTHING." "I" "JUST THINKING ALOUD." "THERE'S ONE RAY OF HOPE THOUGH." "I" "I THINK I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU IN NEW ZEALAND." "NEW ZEALAND?" "MM-HMM." "WONDERFUL PLACE." "GREAT SHEEP-RAISING COUNTRY." "YES." "I'VE HEARD ALL ABOUT IT." "SAY, DAD." "I'VE AN IDEA." "COULDN'T THIS ALL BE SETTLED BY A WEALTHY MARRIAGE?" "OH, NO." "I RATHER DISLIKE THAT SORT OF THING, JACK." "IF I WERE YOU- LISTEN." "CHARLEY WYKEHAM'S AUNT, DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ," "IS COMING HERE TO LUNCH TODAY." "SHE'S A WEALTHY WIDOW- NO, DON'T DO IT, JACK." "I WOULDN'T ADVISE YOUR MARRYING JUST FOR MONEY." "BUT NOT ME, DAD." "YOU." "ME?" "OH, YOU YOUNG DEVIL." "I'LL GET ALONG, SON." "DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME." "I WASN'T, SIR." "I'M AFRAID I WAS BEING VERY SELFISH." "WHAT?" "YOU SEE, DAD," "I'M IN LOVE" "FRIGHTFULLY, DEVASTATINGLY." "BUT WITHOUT ANY MONEY, I HAVEN'T THE RIGHT." "WHAT'S SHE LIKE?" "OH, SHE" "SHE'S LIKE THE STARS, THE MOON AND THE SUN." "IS SHE NOW?" "SOUNDS LIKE THE REAL THING." "IT IS, SIR." "I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO HER AT LUNCH TODAY, BUT" "HOW ARE THE SHEEP IN NEW ZEALAND?" "PRETTY BAD." "RATHER SMELLY TOO." "WHAT'S THE MATTER, JACK?" "WON'T SHE WAIT?" "OH, I THINK SHE WOULD, SIR," "BUT SHE HAS A GUARDIAN." "OH." "YOUR MOTHER AND I ELOPED UNDER SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES" "BUT OF COURSE AT THE TIME I HAD A LITTLE INCOME." "YES, AN INCOME CAN BE A WONDERFUL THING." "IT CERTAINLY CAN." "UH, HOW OLD IS THIS, UH, CHARLEY'S AUNT?" "OH, I DON'T KNOW." "PROBABLY 90, LIKE MOST AUNTS." "WELL, AT 90 THEY DON'T BOTHER YOU MUCH." "AND YOU SAY SHE'S VERY WEALTHY?" "THEY SAY SHE HAS MILLIONS." "I'M SURE YOUR MOTHER WOULD UNDERSTAND." "HMM?" "WELL, I'LL HAVE LUNCHEON WITH YOU TODAY." "OH, NO, DAD." "I COULDN'T LET YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS FOR ME." "A LOVELESS MARRIAGE?" "BUT I'M DOING IT FOR LOVE, SON." "I THINK I'LL RUN ALONG AND GET SHAVED." "NO MAN SHOULD PROPOSE ON A FULL BEARD." "AFTER ALL, IT WOULD BE RATHER NICE TO HAVE THE STARS," "THE SUN AND THE MOON FOR A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW." "WHAT DID YOU SAY HER NAME WAS, JACK?" "KITTY." "KITTY." "THAT'S A LOVELY NAME, JACK." "YES, SIR." "IT IS." "KITTY." "THANK YOU." "JACK?" "JACK!" "SHE'S NOT COMING." "DON'T TELL ME THAT." "BUT SHE MUST COME." "WE'RE EXPECTING HER." "SEND HER A WIRE." "TELL HER" " THERE'S NOT TIME ENOUGH." "THE GIRLS WON'T STAY WITHOUT A CHAPERONE." "MAYBE THE REGISTRAR'S WIFE WILL" " JACK!" "LOOK." "COME IN." "COME IN!" "OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON." "CAN I HELP YOU?" "WELL, BOYS, HOW DO YOU LIKE ME?" "WHAT THE DICKENS" "BABBS!" "AUNTIE." " WHERE IS SHE?" "SHE COULDN'T COME." "SO WE'VE GOT TO GET ANOTHER CHAPERONE." "WELL, WHY DON'T YOU ASK MRS." "OH, NO, YOU DON'T!" "OH, YES, WE DO!" "NOW, STOP IT!" "STOP IT, YOU BLACKGUARDS." "STOP IT, I SAY." "STOP IT, YOU FELLOWS." "STOP IT, I SAY." "IF YOU CAN FOOL US, YOU CAN FOOL THE GIRLS." "COME ON, BABBS." "BE A SPORT." "I WON'T BE A LADY FOR YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE." "KEEP YOUR DISTANCE." "AND I MEAN IT." "VERY WELL." "YOU KNOW, CHARLEY, I'VE JUST BEEN THINKING." "I DON'T REMEMBER SEEING BABBS TRIP ON THE STAIRS LAST NIGHT." "COME TO THINK OF IT, I DON'T EITHER." "AND IF WE DIDN'T SEE HIM, WE COULDN'T VERY WELL TELL REDCLIFFE THAT WE DID." "OH, OF COURSE NOT." "THAT WOULD BE LYING." "BUT YOU'VE GOT TO." "HE'LL SEND ME DOWN IF YOU DON'T." "THEN YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE ALL THOSE LOVELY SHEEP." "THIS IS BLACKMAIL." "YES." "IT'S VERY SIMPLE." "YOU HELP US, AND WE'LL HELP YOU." "OH." "SHH!" "WE MUST TIDY UP THE ROOM." "JUST A MOMENT." "YOU'D BETTER MAKE UP YOUR MIND." "BUT FELLOWS, THIS IS- THIS IS ALL SO UNFAIR." "ALL RIGHT, LITTLE BO PEEP, IF YOU WANT YOUR SHEEP BACK AGAIN" "BUT YOU PROMISED." "ARE YOU GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AN OLD FRIENDSHIP?" "THE ANSWER IS YES." "WELL?" "I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT." "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?" "JUST KEEP YOUR VOICE UP AND YOUR DRESS DOWN." "COME IN." "HOW DO YOU DO?" "SO NICE OF YOU TO COME." "ARE WE TOO EARLY, MR. WYKEHAM?" "OH, NO." "YOU DIDN'T MENTION ANY TIME, MR. CHESNEY," "SO WE" " SO WE CAME DIRECTLY." "MR. SPETTIGUE LEFT THE HOUSE." "WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?" "Y" " YES." "THANK YOU, BUT HAS MR. WYKEHAM'S AUNT ARRIVED YET?" "OH, UH, YES." "YES, OF COURSE." "OH." "OH, UH, DONNA LUCIA," "MISS SPETTIGUE." "MISS VERDUN, DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ." "CHARLEY'S AUNT." "YES." "MY" " MY AUNT." "OH, UH, ARE YOU, UH, QUITE COMFORTABLE, AUNTIE DEAR?" "SAY SOMETHING, YOU IDIOT." "HOW" "HOW" "HOW DO YOU DO?" "BABBS." "HOW DO YOU DO, MY DEARS?" "HOW DO YOU DO, DONNA LUCIA?" "WE BROUGHT YOU THESE." "FOR ME?" "I MEAN- FOR ME?" "HOW SWEET OF YOU, MY DEARS." "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET DOWN YOUR PARASOLS, LADIES?" "OH, THANK YOU, MR. WYKEHAM." "OH, MISS AMY, I WANT TO SHOW YOU THIS PICTURE." "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?" "PUT 'EM IN YOUR DRESS." "NO, THAT'S ANOTHER FELLOW." "THAT'S JACK AT THE TOP." "WITH A MUSTACHE." "HE HAD ONE LAST YEAR." "SILLY PICTURES." "DON'T SHOW THEM THAT." "I WON THIS TROPHY AT LA CROSSE." "THIS BAT IS RATHER NICE." "IT'S AUTOGRAPHED BY W.G. GRACE." "YOU'VE SEEN HIM." "ENORMOUS BEARD." "AMAZING OLD MAN." "YOU KNOW WHO HE IS, DON'T YOU?" "NO, I DON'T." "IS THIS YOUR PICTURE, JACK?" "YES, THAT'S ME." "IT WAS MY FIRST YEAR." "MAY I ARRANGE THOSE FOR YOU, DONNA LUCIA?" "SO NICE OF YOU, MY DEAR." "THE TABLE" "THIS IS THE ONE I MEANT." "THANK YOU." "OH, COME IN, BRASSETT." "OH, BEG PARDON, MILORD." "MR. WIGGINS" "NOW, BRASSETT, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME MILORD?" "NOT YET, ANYWAY." "PERHAPS LATER, BUT, UH, NOT NOW." "OH, I WANT YOU TO LAY ANOTHER PLACE FOR MY FATHER." "YES, SIR." "HE CAN SIT NEXT TO, UH, DONNA LUCIA." "OH." "YES, SIR." "CROSSING THE QUAD, SIR, I SAW A GENTLEMAN." "HE WAS EVIDENTLY HEADING THIS WAY, SIR." "I BELIEVE IT WAS MR. SPETTIGUE." "OH!" "MR. SPETTIGUE!" "OH, AMY." "KITTY." "MR. SPETTIGUE." "UNCLE DIDN'T GO TO LONDON AT ALL." "NO, IT WAS A TRICK" "JUST TO SEE WHAT WE'D DO." "WE CAN HIDE IN THAT ROOM." "SOMEBODY PLEASE SEND HIM AWAY." "YOU GET RID OF HIM." "OH, NO!" "I WISH TO SEE MR. CHESNEY." "WELL, DON'T SHOUT." "I'M NOT A BARMAID, YOU KNOW." "WHERE ARE MR. CHESNEY AND MR. WYKEHAM?" "AND WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS, YOU DRUNKEN SOT?" "WHAT?" "REMOVE YOUR HAT IN THE PRESENCE OF A LADY," "OR I SHALL WRITE TO THETIMESABOUT THIS." "THAT'S BETTER" " OR IS IT?" "I WISH TO SEE THE TWO YOUNG GENTLEMEN AT ONCE." "WELL, YOU CAN'T SEE THEM, BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY GENTLEMAN PRESENT." "WHAT?" "I MEAN, I'M" "I DISTINCTLY SAW TWO YOUNG LADIES COME IN HERE." "WELL, THAT'S CURIOUS, BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY YOUNG LADY HERE." "OF COURSE, IN YOUR CONDITION, YOU PROBABLY SAW ME TWICE" " COMING AND GOING." "I FLIT BACK AND FORTH." "THEY'VE PROBABLY GONE INTO THE GARDEN." "THEY'VE DONE NOTHING OF THE KIND." "THEN THEY'VE GONE INTO TOWN." "THEN WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW THEM" "IF YOU'RE ABLE TO WALK IN YOUR CONDITION." "MADAM, I AM PERFECTLY SOBER." "SOBER?" "SOBER?" "MADAM, I ASSURE YOU" "I ADVISE YOU TO SIGN THE TEMPERANCE PLEDGE..." "AND BE SAVED BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE." "SOMETHING JUST HIT ME." "PROBABLY THE TENTH DRINK." "YOU CAN COME OUT NOW, MY DEARS." "HOW SWEET OF YOU, DONNA LUCIA." "OH, YOU WERE AN ANGEL TO DO IT FOR US." "LOOK AT HIM." "I OUGHT TO TAP HIS CLARET." "DONNA LUCIA" " I THINK YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN." "LADIES, I DON'T THINK YOU'VE SEEN OUR VIEW OF THE CLOISTERS, HAVE YOU?" "ON A CLEAR DAY, YOU CAN SEE THEM QUITE CLEARLY." "WHEN IT'S CLEAR." "REALLY?" "I JUST SAW YOUR FATHER COMING UP THE STAIRS, SIR." "NOW, YOU BE CAREFUL WHEN MY DAD GETS HERE." "WHY?" "I'M NOT RELATED TO HIM TOO, AM I?" "OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOT." "YOU'RE CHARLEY'S AUNT FROM BRAZIL." "BRAZIL." "YOU KNOW, WHERE THE NUTS COME FROM." "OH!" "IT'S YOUR UNCLE AGAIN." "NO, NO, NO." "IT'S MY FATHER." "HELLO, DAD." "HELLO, JACK." "MISS SPETTIGUE, MISS VERDUN" " KITTY" "MY FATHER." "OH, DELIGHTED." "HAS, UH, SHE COME YET?" "OH, UH, CHARLEY, WILL YOU INTRODUCE YOUR AUNT?" "OH, UH, YES, OF COURSE." "UH, DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ," "SIR FRANCIS CHESNEY- JACK'S FATHER." "HOW DO YOU DO, SIR FRANCIS?" "HOW DO YOU DO?" "I'M CHARLEY'S AUNT FROM BRAZIL" "WHERE THE NUTS COME FROM." "I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE WAS ONLY 90." "LISTEN, DAD, I WANTED TO EXPLAIN" "MY SON HAD TOLD ME HOW WEALTH" "HOW CHARMING YOU WERE," "AND AFTER SEEING YOU, I CAN ONLY SAY THAT HE IS A MASTER AT UNDERSTATEMENT." "HOW SWEET OF YOU." "MY, WHAT A LOVELY FLOWER." "OH, YOU LIKE IT?" "WILL YOU ACCEPT IT?" "THANK YOU, SIR FRANCIS." "I SHALL HAVE IT STUFFED." "LUNCHEON IS READY, SIR." "THANK YOU, BRASSETT." "DAD, WILL YOU TAKE" " DONNA LUCIA?" "BUT OF COURSE, SON." "OH, WILL YOU SEAT US, PLEASE, AUNTIE?" "YES." "NOW, THE GIRLS" " THE GIRLS WILL SIT RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME." "BUT, AUNTIE, YOU HAVE TO CARVE THELAMB." "WELL, IN THAT CASE" " THE YOUNG LADIES WILL SIT THERE..." "AND THERE." "YES, YES, YES." "WILL YOU BE SEATED, DONNA LUCIA?" "THANK YOU." "I WILL SIT HERE, SON." "BRASSETT, YOU CAN OPEN THE CHAMPAGNE." "YES, SIR." "HOW DO YOU FIND THE CLIMATE IN LONDON?" "BRASSETT, WHERE'S THE CHAMPAGNE?" "I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND IT, SIR." "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "THE CHAMPAGNE, AUNTIE." "WHAT?" "YOU HAVEN'T ANY?" "LUCKY I BROUGHT SOME WITH ME." "IN MY BAG, BRASSETT." "SO!" "I WAS RIGHT AFTER ALL." "WHY, MR. SPETTIGUE" " COME OUT FROM THERE THIS INSTANT." "COME OUT, COME OUT." "PLEASE, MR. SPETTIGUE, I ASSURE YOU WE THOUGHT" "YOU THOUGHT I'D GONE TO LONDON." "THAT'S WHY YOU BOTH CAME HERE." "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT HAT?" "TAKE IT OFF!" "YOU'RE A VERY SILLY OLD WOMAN, AND PLEASE DON'T INTERFERE." "WHY, YOU" "LOOK HERE, SIR." "YOU CANNOT PUT SUCH AN AFFRONT UPON MR. WYKEHAM'S FRIENDS." "I CAN ONLY SAY THAT I'M DEEPLY ANNOYED..." "TO FIND MY NIECE AND MY WARD" "WITHOUT MY PERMISSION- COMING HERE TO" "MEET MR. WYKEHAM'S AUNT." "INDEED." "ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU." "DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ, MR. SPETTIGUE." "DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ?" "THE MILLIONAIRESS?" "HOW DO YOU DO?" "HOW DO YOU DO, MR. SPETTIGUE?" "I'M CHARLEY'S AUNT FROM BRAZIL" "WHERE THE NUTS COME FROM." "PLEASE" " PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO RUDE." "HOWEVER, NOW THAT I SEE THAT MY WARDS CAME ONLY..." "TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS TO A MOST CHARMING WOMAN," "I AM ASHAMED OF MY UNGENTLEMANLY CONDUCT." "BUT COME, COME" " WE CAN'T BE GENTLEMEN ALL THE TIME." "CAN WE?" "NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, MR. SPETTIGUE, WON'T YOU STAY FOR LUNCH?" "WELL, IF YOU WISH IT." "AM I FORGIVEN?" "FORGIVEN." "WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS FLOWER AS A PEACE OFFERING?" "OH, THANK YOU." "MADAM, ALLOW ME." "THANK YOU." "NO, NO!" "ALLOW ME." "NOW SHALL WE SIT DOWN?" "BRASSETT, YOU MAY SERVE THE" "OH!" "DONNA LUCIA!" "IS IT NOT ROMANTIC THAT SHELLEY ONCE STROLLED THESE SAME PATHS?" "AND HERE WE ARE." "AND HERE WE ARE." "OH!" "WHY, YOU- OH." "WHY, I BEG YOUR PARDON, MADAM." "NOW THAT WE'RE ALONE, DONNA LUCIA," "THERE IS SO MUCH I'D LIKE TO SAY TO YOU." "I KNOW, AND THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO YOU TOO." "OH, DON'T BE AFRAID, DONNA LUCIA." "LET YOUR HEART SPEAK." "I" " I DOUBT IF THIS IS THE TIME OR PLACE." "I HAVE IT." "LET'S MEET IN THE GARDEN OVER THERE IN 15 MINUTES." "GOOD." "THEN WE CAN SPEAK FREELY." "I SHALL BE WAITING." "AHA." "I SEE YOU'VE GOT RID OF SIR FRANCIS." "UH, YES." "HE HAD AN APPOINTMENT." "GOOD." "AND NOW THAT THAT FORTUNE HUNTER IS GONE," "I CAN TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND..." "EVER SINCE I FIRST MET YOU." "WELL, I'M SURE IT'LL BE VERY INTERESTING" " TO ONE OF US." "I KNOW A VERY QUIET LITTLE PLACE." "A SHADY BOWER NEAR THE RIVER." "UH, SPLENDID." "YOU GO THERE, AND I'LL MEET YOU LATER." "OH, YOU COME WITH ME." "AH" " MY REPUTATION, YOU KNOW." "IF THEY SEE US TOGETHER, PEOPLE MIGHT TALK." "OH, OF COURSE, OF COURSE." "FORGIVE MY IMPETUOSITY." "JUST FOLLOW THIS PATH." "YOU CAN'T MISS IT." "YOU CAN'T!" "NOW I KNOW WHAT WOMEN GO THROUGH." "MY DEAR" "MY DEAR KITTY" "THERE'S SOMETHING I'D VERY MUCH LIKE TO SAY TO YOU." "THEN SAY IT, MR. CHESNEY." "WELL, I" "OH!" "I BEG YOUR PARDON, DEAR." "I ONLY WANTED TO SPEAK TO JACK." "CERTAINLY, SIR FRANCIS." "I'LL GO AND FIND AMY." "CONFOUND IT, DAD." "I WAS ABOUT TO PROPOSE." "BUT NOW, JACK, YOU CAN PROPOSE WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE." "MY CONSCIENCE IS PERFECTLY CLEAR, DAD." "IT'LL BE CLEARER THAN EVER NOW, JACK." "WE'LL HAVE AN INCOME AGAIN." "HOW?" "DONNA LUCIA" " SHE'S MINE." "UH, I MEAN, OURS." "DONNA LUCIA?" "YES." "HAVE YOU PROPOSED?" "NOT YET, BUT THE WAY THE OLD GIRL'S..." "BEEN COOING AT ME, IT WON'T BE LONG NOW." "DAD, YOU MUSTN'T." "I FORBID IT." "NOW, JACK, WE'VE BEEN ALL THROUGH THAT." "IT'S NOT ONLY FOR YOUR GOOD, BUT MINE." "DAD, PLEASE, YOU CAN'T." "WE CAN'T." "WE MUSTN'T HAVE ANYBODY LIKE THAT IN THE FAMILY." "THERE'D BE A SCANDAL." "A SCANDAL WITH A PERFECTLY HARMLESS OLD LADY LIKE THAT?" "DAD, LISTEN." "THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU." "YES, JACK?" "SHE" "SHE ISN'T WHAT SHE SEEMS." "NO?" "NO, SHE ISN'T." "SHE" "SHE'S A WOMAN WITH A PAST." "A PAST?" "YOU CAN'T HAVE A PAST WITH A FACE LIKE THAT, JACK." "IT'S IMPOSSIBLE." "HER FACE WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THAT." "AND BESIDES, SHE DRINKS." "YES, SIR, SHE DRINKS EXCESSIVELY." "IT'S TRUE." "HER SUITCASE IS FILLED WITH CHAMPAGNE." "YOU SAW IT YOURSELF AT LUNCHEON." "I KNOW, JACK, BUT YOU" "OH, DAD, YOU'RE TOO GOOD AND FINE TO THROW YOURSELF AWAY ON A WOMAN LIKE THAT." "IT'S TRUE, I NEVER DID LIKE A WOMAN WHO DRINKS TOO MUCH." "OH, BUT AFTER ALL, I SHALL BE DRINKING WITH HER." "IT WON'T BE TOO MUCH OF A SACRIFICE." "OH, DAD, NOT NOW." "WAIT A FEW DAYS." "A FEW DAYS?" "NO, JACK." "I'VE GOT TO WORK FAST TO BEAT OUT OLD SPETTIGUE." "HE'S BEEN GETTING IDEAS ABOUT THE LADY TOO." "SPETTIGUE?" "YES, AND IF HE GETS HER, YOU MAY AS WELL KISS KITTY GOOD-BYE." "NO, SON." "I'VE SEEN MY DUTY, AND I'M GOING TO DO IT." "BUT FIRST I'M GOING UP TO YOUR ROOMS..." "AND HAVE A RATTLING-GOOD WHISKEY AND SODA." "I DON'T THINK I COULD PROPOSE TO THAT FACE WITHOUT ONE." "OH, DAD, THINK IT OVER FOR A TIME." "IT'S NO USE, SON." "I SAY- WHERE'S YOUR WHISKEY?" "IN THE PIANO." "OH, DONNA LUCIA, THANK YOU." "IT WAS TERRIBLY CLEVER OF YOU TO ENGAGE MR. SPETTIGUE IN CONVERSATION..." "SO WE COULD STEAL AWAY BY OURSELVES." "I WAS ONLY TOO HAPPY TO HELP, MY DEAR." "UH, MY DEAR, WOULD YOU BE GOOD ENOUGH TO SHOW ME THE CLOISTERS AND THINGS?" "DELIGHTED." "LOOK AT HIM." "HE JUST STOLE HER RIGHT AWAY FROM ME." "THAT'S NOTHING." "YOU KNOW WHERE MY FATHER IS?" "GETTING HIMSELF A RATTLING-GOOD WHISKEY AND SODA." "WHAT FOR?" "TO PROPOSE TO BABBS." "THAT'S WHAT FOR." "PROPOSE TO BABBS?" "HMM." "FOR MY SAKE." "FOR YOUR SAKE?" "YES." "FOR SOMEBODY'S SAKE, LET'S DO SOMETHING." "DONNA LUCIA, MAY I SEE YOU FOR A MOMENT?" "MAY I SHOW YOU THE HOLLYHOCKS, MISS AMY?" "OH, YES." "PLEASE REMEMBER I'M A FRAGILE OLD LADY." "HAVE YOU BEEN LEADING MY FATHER ON?" "NO, I MERELY FLUTTERED MY EYELASHES." "WELL, THAT WAS ENOUGH." "HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE." "ALL RIGHT, IF HE WANTS TO PROPO" " WHAT?" "OH, NO, NOT ME!" "I'M NOT GONNA MARRY HIM!" "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" "GOING UP TO MY ROOM AND BARRICADE THE DOOR." "YOUR FATHER'S AN ARMY MAN, AND I KNOW THE ARMY." "NOW, DON'T BE AN IDIOT, BABBS." "ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REMAIN CALM." "CALM?" "WITH THE ARMY AFTER ME?" "NO, JACK, I'M THROUGH." "I'M GETTING OUT OF THESE PETTICOATS RIGHT NOW." "?" "BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP HAVE YOU ANY WOOL?" "?" "YES, SIR, YES, SIR THREE BAGS FULL?" "ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN." "BUT IF I TURN OUT TO BE YOUR STEPMOTHER, DON'T BLAME ME." "WELL, ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" "BRING ON THE OLD ROUEÉÉ, AND WE'LL GET THIS WRESTLING MATCH OVER WITH." "HE'S BOLSTERING HIS COURAGE AT THE MOMENT WITH A DRINK." "HE'S A LITTLE NERVOUS." "HE'S NERVOUS?" "HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?" "YOO-HOO!" "MY DEAR DONNA LUCIA, YOU ARE HERE." "WON'T YOU COME INTO THE GARDEN?" "WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?" "THANK YOU." "DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU KNOW THAT MEETING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY..." "IS TO ME LIKE A LONELY TRAVELER..." "COMING ACROSS SOME BRIGHT LITTLE FLOWERLET IN THE DESERT." "YOU MEAN ME?" "YES, DONNA LUCIA, YES." "DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU KNOW WHAT A MAN LONGS FOR..." "WHEN HE IS DESOLATE, WRETCHED AND LONELY?" "OH, NO, NO, NO." "HE LONGS TO PLANT THAT LITTLE FLOWERLET IN HIS HEART..." "AND NURTURE IT WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE..." "AND SEE IT GROW IN ALL ITS SPLENDOR AND BEAUTY." "TO FIND THIS LITTLE FLOWERLET, I HAVE COME ALL THE WAY FROM INDIA." "INDIA?" "THEN YOU MUST BE AWFULLY TIRED." "HAVE A CHAIR." "THANK YOU." "NOW THAT I HAVE FOUND THIS LITTLE FLOWERLET," "I WANT IT TO BE WITH ME ALWAYS." "I WANT IT TO WALK BY MY SIDE," "TO SEE THE SPLENDOR OF THE TAJ MAHAL," "TO BE KISSED BY THE TROPICAL MOON." "OH, DARN THAT THING!" "PARDON ME." "TERRIBLY CLUMSY OF ME." "OH." "WHAT A CLUMSY OAF I AM." "I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY." "AH, I WILL WASTE NO MORE WORDS, DONNA LUCIA." "WILL YOU BE MY LITTLE FLOWERLET?" "WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?" "WELL, YOU SEE- THEN I MAY HOPE?" "I'M AFRAID NOT." "NO, DON'T HOPE." "I WOULDN'T HOPE IF I WERE YOU." "FRANKLY, SIR FRANCIS, I INTEND TO MARRY SOMEONE MUCH YOUNGER THAN YOURSELF." "YOU SEE, YOU ALREADY HAVE A SON." "WHILE I" " I HOPE TO HAVE A FAMILY OF MY OWN SOMEDAY." "AT YOUR AGE?" "OH, I KNOW I'M A LITTLE YOUNG TO BE SPEAKING OF CHILDREN," "BUT I WON'T ALWAYS BE YOUNG NOW, WILL I?" "NO, I SUPPOSE NOT." "BUT I PROMISE YOU ONE THING, SIR FRANCIS." "I WILL ALWAYS BE A SISTER TO YOU." "THAT IS, IF YOU CARE FOR THAT SORT OF THING." "NO WORDS OF MINE CAN ALTER YOUR DECISION?" "THEN PLEASE ACCEPT MY REGRETS AND APOLOGIES FOR EVER HAVING BROACHED THE SUBJECT." "GOOD DAY." "GOOD DAY, SIR FRANCIS." "GOOD DAY." "CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE I'LL FIND LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY?" "LORD FANCOURT?" "WELL, UH, HIS ROOMS ARE IN THAT BUILDING, BUT HE'S NOT IN AT PRESENT." "OH." "WILL YOU SEE HIM SHORTLY?" "OH, YES, AT ANY MOMENT." "I WONDER IF YOU'LL GIVE HIM THIS, PLEASE." "OF COURSE." "JUST TELL HIM THAT MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE WAS HERE." "I'M GOING TO THE INN NOW, AND I SHALL BE BACK IN AN HOUR." "CERTAINLY, MADAM." "THANK YOU SO MUCH." "THAT'S THE WOMAN UNCLE TELEGRAPHED ABOUT." "AND FROM HERE SHE LOOKS MIGHTY NICE." "WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO?" "I'VE GOT TO ENTERTAIN MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE." "I CAN'T DO IT IN THIS OUTFIT." "JUST A MOMENT!" "YOU CAN'T QUIT ON US LIKE THIS." "NOW SEE HERE, JACK." "THAT WOMAN IS A VERY IMPORTANT CLIENT, AND I'VE GOT TO" "OH, NOW LOOK WHO'S COMING." "IF YOU DISAPPEAR NOW, HE'LL BE SUSPICIOUS." "I'VE GOTTA MEET THAT WOMAN." "BUT SHE WON'T BE BACK FOR AN HOUR." "YOU CAN GET RID OF THIS ROMEO IN FIVE MINUTES." "JUST TURN HIM DOWN LIKE YOU DID DAD." "BUT HE'S IN HIS THIRD CHILDHOOD." "HE'S A CHEEK PINCHER." "A BOOCHA-BOOCHA-BOOCHA." "OH, COME ON, BABBS." "GET IT OVER WITH." "OH, ALL RIGHT." "DO I LOOK SEDUCTIVE ENOUGH?" "I HATE TO MENTION THIS, AUNTIE, BUT YOU NEED A SHAVE." "I SHAVED THIS MORNING." "NOT CLOSE ENOUGH FOR AUNTIE." "IF OLD SPETTIGUE PINCHES YOUR CHEEK AND FEELS THAT STUBBLE, IT'S TROUBLE." "NOW, COME ON." "BE A GOOD GIRL AND WHISK OFF THOSE WHISKERS." "YOU CAN USE THE RAZOR IN MY ROOM." "WHY CAN'T I BE A BEARDED LADY?" "DONNA LUCIA!" "MR. SPETTIGUE!" "YES." "YOU'RE VERY NAUGHTY COMING IN HERE LIKE THIS." "I JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU." "STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE." "SHAME ON YOU, COMING UP HERE UNINVITED." "JUST FOR THAT, I'M GONNA CLOSE THE DOOR." "NO, DON'T, DONNA LUCIA." "I WAITED FOR YOU IN THE BOWER, AND WHEN YOU DIDN'T COME, I" "OH, DONNA LUCIA, FORGIVE ME." "FORGIVE ME." "RATHER THAN OFFEND YOU, I WOULD DESTROY MYSELF." "OH, DONNA LUCIA, DONNA LUCIA, YOU ARE SUCH A PICTURE OF LOVELINESS." "I THOUGHT MY LIFE SPAN WAS OVER, AND THEN" " THEN I SAW YOU." "YOUR FACE" " YOUR FACE WAS LIKE A KINDLY BREEZE..." "CARRYING BACK TO ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY YOUTH." "OH, MR. SPETTIGUE!" "I SAY, BABBS, HAVE YOU SEEN KITTY?" "KITTY?" "ALL I'VE SEEN IS SPETTIGUE." "SPETTIGUE?" "YES, AND HE'S AFTER ME." "COME ON." "OH!" "OH, IT'S YOU, MADAM." "VERY CARELESS OF ME." "I BEG YOUR PARDON." "OH!" "THAT WAS A CLOSE SHAVE, WASN'T IT?" "BUT NOT CLOSE ENOUGH." "LOOK." "SPETTIGUE CAUGHT ME RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT." "WHAT?" "YES." "AND KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR HIM WHILE I FINISH SHAVING." "HURRY UP!" "SPETTIGUE'S JUST COMING OUT OF THE BUILDING!" "I CAN CUT MY THROAT JUST SO FAST AND NO FASTER." " HERE HE COMES!" " GOOD." "LET ME AT HIM." "I'LL TURN HIM DOWN RIGHT OFF, AND HE CAN TAKE HIS BROKEN HEART AND GET OUT OF HERE." "BUT HE'S SURE TO TAKE KITTY AND AMY WITH HIM." "GOOD." "WE CAN GET RID OF THEM." "BUT KITTY CAN'T LEAVE NOW." "I HAVEN'T PROPOSED TO HER YET." "YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP OLD SPETTIGUE AROUND HERE A LITTLE LONGER." "OH!" "KEEP HIM ON THE HOOK UNTIL I'VE HAD MY TALK WITH KITTY." "BUT I CAN'T DO THAT." "WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR" " A TEASE?" "AND WHAT ABOUT MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE?" "NOW, LISTEN, BABBS." "OH, ALL RIGHT." "BUT HURRY UP BEFORE MY BEARD GROWS BACK AGAIN." "HERE HE IS." "AH, THERE YOU ARE." "HELLO." "DONNA LUCIA." "CHASE ME." "OH." "CERTAINLY, MADAM." "EXCUSE ME, SIR." "HAVE YOU SEEN A DISTINGUISHED LOOKING LADY ABOUT HERE?" "DEFINITELY." "OH, THANK YOU." "THANK YOU." "KITTY, YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU ENORMOUSLY." "YES." "SOME PEOPLE MIGHT EVEN CONSTRUE IT AS LOVE, MIGHTN'T THEY?" "YEAH" " YES!" "AND, WELL, WHEN TWO PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY-THEY" "THEY BECOME ENGAGED, DON'T THEY?" "YEAH." "YES!" "AND I THOUGHT THAT IF YOU" "OH, YOU ARE A DEAR TO ASK ME, JACK." "OH, WHAT'S THE USE OF TALKING?" "I'LL BE POOR FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS." "WE'D HAVE TO LIVE IN THE SUBURBS ON TUPPENCE A YEAR." "WELL, IS THERE ANY REASON WHY WE SHOULDN'T?" "KITTY!" "YOU KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT ME, JACK." "DO YOU THINK IF I WERE IN LOVE, BEING POOR WOULD MAKE THE SLIGHTEST DIFFERENCE?" "WE WON'T BE FOR LONG." "I'LL WORK HARD." "OH, I'M MUCH TOO FOND OF YOU TO LET MONEY STAND IN THE WAY." "YOU ARE, KITTY?" "THEN" " THEN" "THEN WILL I MARRY YOU, JACK?" "YES." "OH, KITTY." "I DID IT." "I DID IT!" "I DON'T SEE HOW." "IF I WERE A MAN, I'M SURE I'D NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO PROPOSE." "OH!" "YOU ARE BOLD, AREN'T YOU, JACK?" "OH, I" " I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, KITTY." "OH, I WASN'T COMPLAINING." "I WAS MERELY EXPRESSING AN OPINION." "YOU'RE SO PRETTY." "REALLY, MR. WYKEHAM, YOU NEEDN'T SOUND SO DEPRESSED ABOUT IT." "OH, I'M NOT DEPRESSED." "I'M JUST" " JUST OVEREXCITED." "OH, MISS AMY." "YES?" "WELL, DON'T LOOK AT ME." "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" "I LOVE YOU." "WELL?" "WELL WHAT?" "WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY, "THIS IS SO SUDDEN"?" "IT ISN'T REALLY, IS IT, CHARLEY?" "AMY!" "OH, CHARLEY, I FORGOT ABOUT UNCLE." "WELL, WHAT ABOUT HIM?" "OH, BUT WHAT ABOUT MY GUARDIAN, MR. SPETTIGUE?" "OH." "I'LL SEE HIM AT ONCE AND ASK HIS CONSENT." "AND YOU MUST GET IT IN WRITING." "WRITING?" "YES." "SO THAT LATER HE CAN'T RETRACT IT." "YOU DON'T KNOW HIM AS WELL AS I DO." "I DON'T TRUST HIM." "OH, BUT I COULDN'T ASK HIM TO DO A THING LIKE THAT." "NO." "BUT DONNA LUCIA COULD." "DONNA LUCIA?" "YES." "MR. SPETTIGUE HAS FALLEN A COMPLETE VICTIM TO HER CHARMS." "HE'D DO ANYTHING FOR HER." "OH, HELLO, CHARLEY." "WHERE'S AMY?" "OH, OVER BY THE GATE." "OH, I" " I MUST GO AND TELL HER THE NEWS." "I'VE DONE IT." "JACK, I'VE DONE IT!" "DONE WHAT?" "TOLD AMY EVERYTHING." "OH, YOU FOOL!" "WHAT FOR?" "TOLD HER WHAT?" "TOLD HER THAT I LOVE HER." "OH, IS THAT ALL?" "IS THAT ALL?" "WHY, IT MADE ME FEEL MOST PECULIAR." "BUT SHE SAYS I'VE GOT TO GET THE OLD BOUNDER'S CONSENT IN WRITING." "ME TOO." "I WONDER IF THE OLD MISER CAN WRITE." "WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO ABOUT IT." "PSST." "HEY!" "AUNTIE!" "DONNA LUCIA!" "WHERE'S SPETTIGUE?" "ABOUT A QUARTER OF A MILE BACK." "DID YOU TWO POP THE QUESTION YET?" "AND THE ANSWERS WERE FAVORABLE." "GOOD." "THEN I CAN TELL OLD SPETTIGUE WHAT I THINK OF HIM." "BUT YOU CAN'T TURN HIM DOWN." "WHAT?" "NO, YOU'VE GOT TO ACCEPT HIM." "NOW LOOK HERE, BABBS!" "LOOK OUT!" "GET OFF OF ME!" "BABBS, YOU MUST BE REASONABLE." "I COULD NEVER BE HAPPY WITH A MAN LIKE THAT." "I WON'T ACCEPT!" "ONLY TEMPORARILY." "ONLY UNTIL YOU CAN GET WRITTEN CONSENT FOR THE GIRLS TO MARRY." "IF YOU TURN HIM DOWN, HE'LL NEVER GIVE IT." "JUST STRING HIM ALONG." "WHEN I HAVE TO USE MYSELF AS BAIT FOR AN UNDERSIZED MACKEREL, THAT'S THE END!" "OH!" "OH, JACK!" "CHARLEY!" "WHATEVER'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR AUNT?" "SHH." "SHE'S RESTING." "YES, YES." "SHE" " SHE HAS A STIFF BACK." "WE'VE BEEN GIVING HER A BIT OF A TREATMENT." "THE WEATHER, YOU KNOW." "IS THAT BETTER, AUNTIE?" "YES." "NOW I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO BACK AT ALL." "OH, DONNA LUCIA!" "I SUPPOSE JACK MENTIONED THE FAVOR WE WANT TO ASK OF YOU." "YES, HE DID SAY SOMETHING ABOUT A LETTER OF CONSENT." "OH, AND YOU WILL GET IT FOR US, WON'T YOU?" "WELL, NOW, GIRLS, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T." "OH, DONNA LUCIA!" "OH, DONNA LUCIA!" "HAVEN'T YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?" "OH, DOZENS OF TIMES." "OH, I MEAN ONCE IN LOVE, ALWAYS IN LOVE." "OH, THEN YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO US, DON'T YOU?" "YES, GIRLS, BUT I DON'T THINK" " OF COURSE AUNTIE WILL GET IT." "WON'T YOU, AUNTIE?" "CHARLES, I TOLD YOU ONCE - ?" "LITTLE BO PEEP HAS LOST HER SHEEP?" "THAT I'LL BE DELIGHTED TO." "OH, YOU'RE AN ANGEL!" "I KNEW YOU WOULD." "THANK YOU." "THANK YOU SO MUCH." "OH, YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL." "OH, COME ALONG, AMY." "WE MUST FIND MR. SPETTIGUE." "HE'S DOWN THERE." "OH, WE'LL BRING HIM TO YOU AT ONCE." "IF YOU DON'T STOP KISSING KITTY, I'LL" "AND NO MORE LOVEY-DOVEY WITH AMY." "THERE'S A MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE IN YOUR ROOMS, MILORD." "SEE?" "NOW LOOK WHAT YOU GOT ME INTO!" "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" "GET HIM, JACK!" "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" "I'M GONNA CHANGE MY CLOTHES AND BE WHAT NATURE INTENDED ME TO BE" " A MAN." "YOU CAN DO THAT AFTER YOU TALK TO SPETTIGUE." "BUT I'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE." "YOU CAN DO BOTH." "GO MEET THIS WOMAN AND BE BACK DOWN HERE AS SOON AS YOU CAN." "WE'LL KEEP SPETTIGUE OCCUPIED." "IF THINGS GET HOT, I'LL TOSS SOME PEBBLES UP AT YOUR WINDOW." "AND IF YOU DON'T COME AT ONCE, THOSE PEBBLES WILL BE FOLLOWED BY A ROCK." "COME ON." "LET'S FIND SPETTIGUE." "WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE ALL THIS?" "HOW DO YOU" "HOW DO YOU DO?" "I'M LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY." "OH, AND I'M MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE." "HOW DO YOU DO?" "OH, PARDON ME FOR STARING," "BUT YOU AREN'T AT ALL WHAT I EXPECTED TO FIND." "I THOUGHT I'D BE MET BY SOME 18-YEAR-OLD STUDENT INSTEAD OF" "WELL, OBVIOUSLY A MAN OF THE WORLD." "I'M PLEASANTLY SURPRISED." "WELL, THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU." "NOW THAT WE'RE BEING FRANK, I HADN'T PICTURED YOU THE WAY YOU ARE, EITHER." "YOU DON'T LOOK AT ALL LIKE A CLIENT, YOU KNOW." "OH, THANK YOU." "ARE YOU HERE ON BUSINESS, MRS. SMYTHE, OR JUST A VISIT?" "NO, JUST A VISIT." "YOU SEE, ST." "OLDE'S WAS MY HUSBAND'S COLLEGE." "MY LATE HUSBAND." "OH, YOURLATEHUSBAND?" "OH, WELL, THAT'S FINE." "I MEAN, THAT'S FINE THAT HE WENT TO COLLEGE HERE." "A SPLENDID PLACE." "YES, HE SPOKE SO HIGHLY OF IT." "SO I DECIDED TO COME HERE AND GET TO KNOW IT AS HE KNEW IT." "WELL, YOU COULDN'T HAVE FOUND A BETTER ESCORT." "I'VE BEEN HERE ON AND OFF FOR 10 YEARS." "YOU KNOW, I'M SO SORRY, MRS. SMYTHE, I WAS OUT WHEN YOU ARRIVED." "I WAS WITH A COUPLE OF CHAPS" " CHESNEY AND WYKEHAM." "OH." "BEING A BIT OLDER, I'M SORT OF A BIG BROTHER TO THEM." "THEY WANTED ME TO MEET THEIR FIANCEÉÉES." "AND AS A BIG BROTHER, DID YOU APPROVE?" "DEFINITELY." "THEY'RE LOVELY GIRLS, BOTH OF THEM." "OF COURSE, THEY'LL NEVER TURN OUT TO BE AS CHARMING AND ATTRACTIVE AS YOU ARE." "I'M SORRY." "SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT." "NO." "NO, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT." "BUT I FORGIVE YOU." "ANYONE EVER TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR EYES?" "SOMETHING'S COME OVER ME." "MAY I OFFER YOU A GLASS OF SHERRY?" "OH, YOU CERTAINLY MAY." "AND, UH, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT MY EYES?" "THEY IMPRESS ME VERY MUCH." "BOTH OF THEM." "OH." "OH." "BUT YOU TOLD ME SHE WAS HERE." "BUT SHE WAS, ONLY A MOMENT AGO." "OH, SHE'S PROBABLY GONE BACK TO YOUR ROOMS." "MAYBE I CAN FIND HER THERE." "NOW, YOU SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE, MR. SPETTIGUE." "YOU'RE TIRED ANYWAY." "AND I-I'M SURE SHE'LL BE BACK IN A MOMENT." "YEAH." "GOOD HEAVENS!" "WHAT WAS THAT?" "JUST A PASSING HAILSTORM." "THINK NOTHING OF IT." "IT'LL BE OVER IN A MOMENT." "NOW, WHAT I'D LIKE TO SUGGEST FOR THIS EVENING..." "IS A CHARMING LITTLE RESTAURANT WITH A WONDERFUL VIEW OF THE RIVER." "OH!" "OH, WHAT A" " WHAT A LARGE HAILSTONE!" "AND DANGEROUS TOO!" "THAT REMINDS ME, I'VE GOT A LOT OF CLOTHES HANGING OUT ON THE LINE." "I'D BETTER GET THEM IN BEFORE THEY'RE RUINED." "DO YOU KNOW WHAT CLOTHES DOES TO HAIL?" "I MEAN, TO HAIL TO CLOTHES." "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK." "NOW, WAIT FOR ME." "I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR." "AREN'T THE SWEET PEAS LOVELY?" "YES." "MR. SPETTIGUE HAD SOME PLANTED AT HOME." "UNCLE LOVES FLOWERS." "YES." "LADIES, WOULD YOU, UH, EXCUSE US?" "YES, PLEASE." "OH, CERTAINLY." "COME ON." "HELP ME, WILL YOU?" "EVERY TIME I PUT THESE CLOTHES ON, THERE SEEM TO BE MORE OF THEM." "AH, DONNA LUCIA!" "OH, MR. SPETTIGUE, THERE YOU ARE." "YES." "I, UH" " I COULDN'T FIND THE TEA, SO ON THE WAY BACK..." "I HAPPENED TO SEE THESE FLOWERS, AND I JUST HAD TO STOP AND SMELL THEM." "OH, THEY ARE LOVELY." "YES." "WELL, NOW SHALL WE GO BACK AND HAVE OUR TEA?" "NOT JUST YET, STEPHEN." "OH, YOU DON'T WANT TO GO BACK?" "WELL, PART OF ME IS READY TO GO," "BUT PART OF ME MUST STAY." "I MEAN, MY HEAD SAYS GO, MY HEART SAYS STAY," "AND MY FEET ARE UNDECIDED." "WHOA!" "MR. SPETTIGUE, I JUMP FOR JOY WHENEVER I SEE YOUR FACE." "I JUMP AND JUMP AND JUMP AND JUMP AND JUMP." "OH, I HAD NO IDEA I MEANT SO MUCH TO YOU." "WELL, NOW THAT WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER, I'D LIKE TO ASK A FAVOR OF YOU." "ANYTHING." "ANYTHING!" "I WANT YOU TO WRITE A LETTER GIVING YOUR WARD AND NIECE CONSENT..." "TO MARRY MY NEPHEW AND MR. CHESNEY." "OH, BUT" "THEY'RE SO MUCH IN LOVE." "STEPHEN, PLEASE, JUST FOR MY SAKE." "OH, BUT WHY?" "WHY SPEAK OF OTHER LOVES WHEN WE HAVE OUR OWN?" "BUT I CAN'T THINK OF MYSELF UNTIL I SEE THOSE CHILDREN HAPPY." "VERY WELL." "WE'LL DISCUSS IT TONIGHT." "GOOD." "NOW SHALL WE" " SHALL WE JOIN THE YOUNGSTERS FOR TEA?" "YES, MY DARLING." "OH, STEPHEN." "OH, LUCIA." "KEEP THAT WOMAN IN MY ROOM." "DON'T LET HER GET OUT." "SON!" "MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE," "I'M JACK CHESNEY, A FRIEND OF BABBERLY'S." "HE WAS CALLED TO THE PROCTOR'S OFFICE, SO HE ASKED ME TO COME UP AND EXPLAIN." " THANK YOU." " SAY, JACK" "OH, EXCUSE ME." "WELL, SON, WHY DON'T YOU INTRODUCE ME?" "OH, MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE, MY FATHER, SIR FRANCIS CHESNEY." "OH." "I HOPE I'M NOT INTRUDING." "WELL, NOT AT ALL." "I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TEA HERE WITH LORD BABBERLY, BUT HE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN DETAINED." "WHAT A SHAME." "WELL, THE OTHERS ARE HAVING TEA IN THE GARDEN." "WHY DON'T WE THREE JOIN THEM?" "OH, NO." "NO." "I'M SURE MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE WOULDN'T ENJOY IT." "JUST TWO SILLY GIRLS AND CHARLEY WYKEHAM'S OLD AUNT FROM BRAZIL." "AN" " AN OLD AUNT FROM BRAZIL?" " YES." " OH." "WELL, UH, WHAT SORT OF A" " A LADY IS SHE?" "OH, A HORRIBLE OLD THING." "OH, REALLY?" "WELL, I MUST SEE HER." "I SPENT A LITTLE TIME IN BRAZIL MYSELF." "WE SHOULD HAVE A GREAT DEAL IN COMMON." "OH, BUT I" " I'M SURE YOU WON'T LIKE HER." "NONSENSE." "I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HER." "SIR FRANCIS?" "MADAM." "THANK YOU." "YOU KNOW, I'M QUITE CHARMED WITH YOUR TOWN OF OXFORD HERE." "I HOPE YOU SHALL ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU AROUND." "I'D BE VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU." "MY DEAR." "THANK YOU." "WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY." "ALL OF US BEING TOGETHER." "I HATE TO SEE IT END." "OH, BUT IT SHAN'T, MY DEAR." "NOW, I HAVE A CAPITAL IDEA." "WE SHALL ALL DINE AT MY HOUSE THIS EVENING." "AND WE'LL STEAL AWAY AND BE ALONE TOGETHER." "THAT WILL BE HEAVEN." "DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ, MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE." "HOW DO YOU DO?" "D'ALVADOREZ." "OF COURSE." "UH, I KNEW YOUR LATE HUSBAND INTIMATELY." "OH." "OH, SHE KNEW MY LATE HUSBAND INTIMATELY." "WELL, YOU TWO SHOULD GET ALONG FAMOUSLY." "YES." "YES, YOUR HUSBAND AND I" "WELL, NOW, PLEASE, PLEASE, I'D MUCH RATHER NOT DISCUSS IT." "YOU SEE, THAT'S ONE SUBJECT I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT." "I JUST" " I JUST CAN'T- OH!" "OH, I'M SO SORRY." "HOW MANY SUGARS?" "I MEAN" " I MEAN" "OH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN." "OH, DARLING AUNTIE!" "BRASSETT!" "WATER!" "SOME BURNT FEATHERS, BRASSETT." "BRANDY!" "SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT." "MY DEAR DONNA LUCIA, WILL YOU SIT HERE AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE?" "AND MAY YOU GRACE IT ALWAYS FROM NOW ON." "THANK YOU." "IT WAS SO KIND OF YOU TO ASK ME HERE THIS EVENING, MR. SPETTIGUE." "IT WAS A VERY, VERY GREAT PLEASURE, I ASSURE YOU, MY DEAR LADY." "IF YOU HADN'T, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE." "STILL BE WAITING FOR LORD BABBERLY, I IMAGINE." "HE MUST BE A VERY ILL-MANNERED YOUNG MAN, DESERTING YOU LIKE THIS." "NOW, I WOULDN'T BE TOO HARSH ON THE BOY." "HE WAS PROBABLY UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED." "I STILL THINK IT WAS INEXCUSABLY BOORISH OF HIM." "YOU DO, DO YOU?" "WELL, WHEN MY NEPHEW INTRODUCED ME TO HIM THIS AFTERNOON," "I FOUND HIM TO BE A MAN OF GREAT CHARM, CULTURE," "INTELLIGENCE, CHIVALRY, WIT, AFFECTION AND UNDERSTANDING." "AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS NEVER QUITE SO IMPRESSED WITH ANYONE IN ALL MY LIFE." "AND I'D RATHER NOT HEAR ANOTHER WORD AGAINST HIM!" "I SAY, DO YOU THINK WE'LL WIN FROM CAMBRIDGE AT CRICKET NEXT WEEK, CHARLEY, EH?" "OH, WE CAN'T LOSE, OLD BOY, WITH SPICKENS AT THE WICKET." "SPICKENS IS A GOOD MAN." "IT'S TOO BAD IT'S HIS LAST YEAR." "DID YOU SEE HIM AT THE NETS YESTERDAY?" "OH, MARVELOUS, MARVELOUS." "EXTRAORDINARY FORM." "OH, MR. SPETTIGUE, I IMAGINE YOU WERE QUITE A CRICKET PLAYER." "OH, QUITE, QUITE, YES." "I PLAYED A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF CRICKET." "AND BOWLED, YOU KNOW." "BOWLED?" "REALLY?" "THAT SOUNDS LIKE GOOD FUN." "AMAZING." "ANCIENT GAME." "YES, IT'S VERY FUN." "I THINK I'VE SEEN SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOU." "WELL" " YES, I THINK IT IS TIME THE LADIES WERE RETIRING..." "TO THE DRAWING ROOM AND LEAVE THE GENTLEMEN TO THEIR PORT." "THANK YOU." "JUST A MOMENT." "MR. CHESNEY WAS ASKING ME SOMETHING ABOUT BRAZIL." "WAS I?" "YES, AND I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED ME THAT." "NOW, BRAZIL" "BRAZIL IS THE MOST BRAZILIAN PLACE IN ALL OF SOUTH AMERICA." "IT HAS ITS, UH, RIVERS AND LAKES," "HILLS AND DALES, CITIES AND COUNTRIES," "DAYS AND NIGHTS, AND AFTERNOONS TOO, OF COURSE." "DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?" "YES." "YES." " UH, CHARLES, PLEASE HELP ME." " OH, OF COURSE, AUNTIE." "OOH, AUNTIE," "TELL THEM ALL ABOUT YOUR COFFEE PLANTATION IN BRAZIL." "OH." "YES." "YES, PLEASE DO TELL US." "I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT." "WELL, UH, YOU KNOW WHAT COFFEE IS, OF COURSE." "AND, UH" " AND YOU KNOW WHAT A PLANTATION IS." "WELL, UH, WE HAD A COFFEE PLANTATION." "DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU PREFER THE MOCACA COFFEE TO THE PINHAL?" "THE, UH, MOCACA COFFEE?" "WELL, YES, YES." "WITH A LITTLE SUGAR." "AND IT'S DELIGHTFUL WHEN SERVED PIPING HOT." "I CAN HELP YOU NOW, AUNTIE." "THANK YOU, CHARLES." "AMY- THANK YOU." "AND THEN" " THEN THERE'S- THERE'S ANOTHER KIND OF COFFEE." "THIS COFFEE IS GROWN FROM SEED ON WET FLANNEL." "OH, MY DEAR, TIMES ARE MOVING SO FAST NOW." "IT'LL BE IN BEFORE YOU KNOW IT." "SUCH A WORLD WE LIVE IN." "YOU KNOW, I HAVE A DRESSMAKER WHO MADE THIS DRESS IN SIX WEEKS..." "WITH ONE OF THOSE NEW SEWING MACHINE ATTACHMENTS." "REALLY?" "THEY SEEM TO BE TELLING STORIES." "PSST." "PSST." "CHARLEY." "OH, YES, AUNTIE?" "EXCUSE ME." "WHICH ONE ARE THEY TELLING?" "OH, THAT ONE." "ARE YOU GOING TO JOIN US, MR. WYKEHAM?" "OH, NO." "I JUST CAME TO SEE IF MY AUNT HERE WAS ALL RIGHT." "THANK YOU VERY MUCH." "WELL, IF THEY CAN TELL STORIES, I DON'T SEE WHY WE CAN'T." "I KNOW ONE." "OF COURSE, IT'S A TRIFLE NAUGHTY." "OH, REALLY?" "WELL, PLEASE TELL IT." "YES." "YES, DO TELL IT." "THIS IS ONE THAT DON PEDRO USED TO TELL." "PERHAPS DONNA LUCIA WOULD PREFER TO TELL IT HERSELF." "TOM PEDRO?" "DON PEDRO D'ALVADOREZ, YOUR LATE HUSBAND." "OH, DON." "DON PEDRO, OF COURSE." "I KNEW HIS NAME." "I CAN'T REMEMBER HIS STORIES." "OH, PLEASE GO ON." "I'M SURE DONNA LUCIA WON'T MIND." "NO, NO, NO, NO." "NOT AT ALL." "IT SEEMS AS THOUGH DON PEDRO WAS WALKING THROUGH HIS COFFEE FIELDS ONE DAY..." "WHEN HE CAME ACROSS ONE OF HIS WORKMEN WHO WAS TIPSY." "THE MAN HAD A GIRL IN HIS ARMS, AND HE WAS KISSING HER." "OH." "WELL, NATURALLY DON PEDRO WAS FURIOUS," "AND HE SAID, "HOW DARE YOU?"" "AND THE MAN SAID, "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" "ALL YOUR WORKMEN DO THIS."" "AND DON PEDRO SAID, "HOW CAN YOU MAKE A STATEMENT LIKE THAT?" "WHAT GROUNDS DO YOU HAVE?"" "AND THE MAN SAID, "COFFEE GROUNDS."" "OH, WHAT A NAUGHTY STORY." "SILLIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD." "DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE STORY, DONNA LUCIA?" "IT WAS ONE OF DON PEDRO'S FAVORITES." "OH, PERFECTLY." "I SHRIEKED THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT." "YOU KNOW, THAT REMINDS ME OF A VERY FUNNY STORY." "ONE OF YOU GIRLS PLAY SOMETHING." "WELL, NOW, GENTLEMEN, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME," "I'M GOING TO SHOW DONNA LUCIA THE GARDEN." "YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS IN THE MOONLIGHT." "OH, DONNA LUCIA, WE ARE ALONE AT LAST." "DON'T TOUCH ME!" "I'M VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU." "LUCIA, YOU WOUND ME." "DON'T SAY THAT." "WELL, I DO SAY IT." "AFTER THE WAY YOU PROMISED ME, TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS!" "PROMISE?" "YES, THE CONSENT YOU PROMISED ME IN WRITING." "BUT I DIDN'T PROMISE." "WHY, STEPHEN!" "TO THINK THAT YOU'D GO BACK ON YOUR WORD." "OH, DONNA LUCIA!" "THAT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD UNTIL I GET THE LETTER." "BUT, MY DEAREST" "STEPHEN, UNTIL YOU GIVE ME THAT LETTER, ALL IS OVER BETWEEN US." "NO." "NO." "WE CAN NEVER BE APART." "THERE IS SOME UNSEEN SOMETHING THAT BINDS US TOGETHER." "WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT." "JUST THE SAME, I WANT THAT LETTER." "VERY WELL, DEAR." "I'LL GO TO MY STUDY AND WRITE IT." "BUT THEN" " THEN WILL YOU SAY THAT YOU'LL BE MINE?" "I'LL SAY ANYTHING YOU LIKE WHEN I GET THE LETTER." "DARLING!" "OH!" "IF YOU LOOK, YOU'RE NO GENTLEMAN!" "NOW YOU MAY HELP ME UP." "OH, A THOUSAND PARDONS, DEAREST LUCIA." "TELL ME, DID YOU HURT YOUR BACK?" "MY BACK IS FINE." "NOW, GO WRITE THE LETTER." "I WON'T BE A MOMENT." "DARLING!" "ARE YOU ALONE?" "MAY I SIT DOWN, PLEASE?" "MY, WHAT A DREADFUL SMELL OF SMOKE THERE IS IN HERE!" "YES, I NOTICED IT MYSELF." "MUST BE SOMETHING BURNING IN THE KITCHEN." "I'LL GO SEE WHAT IT IS." "NO, DON'T GO." "I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR LATE HUSBAND, DON PEDRO." "OH, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT HIM." "HE WAS SUCH A CRUEL HUSBAND." "THE DON PEDRO I KNEW WAS SO KIND." "OH, THAT'S HIS FATHER, THEOLDPEDRO, THE ONE WITH THE BEARD." "OH." "OH, FORGIVE MY CURIOSITY, BUT HAVE YOU ANY CHILDREN?" "CHILDREN?" "ONLY A FEW." "NONE TO SPEAK OF." "OH, DONNA LUCIA, I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU HAVEN'T ACQUIRED THE HABIT OF SMOKING." "SO MANY BRAZILIAN WOMEN HAVE, YOU KNOW." "WELL, CONFIDENTIALLY, I WAS JUST PUFFING ON A PERFECTO WHEN YOU CAME IN." "I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND, SO I, UH" "WOULD YOU CARE FOR ONE?" "THEY'RE VERY MILD, YOU KNOW." "OH, NO." "NO, THANK YOU." "WELL, YOU" " YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING." " OH, LORD BABBERLY?" "YES?" "OH, IS HE HERE TOO?" "OH, IT'S NO USE." "LORD BABBERLY, I'VE KNOWN WHO YOU WERE FOR HOURS." "OH, MY GOODNESS." "YOU WON'T GIVE ME AWAY, WILL YOU?" "THAT ALL DEPENDS." "BUT THIS WASN'T MY IDEA." "YOU MUST BELIEVE ME." "THIS WHOLE THING STARTED WITH SHEEP." "I MEAN, WHEN JACK AND CHARLEY INVITED THE GIRLS TO LUNCHEON." "OH, IT'S SUCH A LONG STORY." "CAN'T WE GO SOMEPLACE WHERE WE WON'T BE INTERRUPTED?" "OH, OF COURSE." "PARDON ME." "LADIES FIRST." "SO JACK LOVES KITTY, AND AMY LOVES CHARLEY," "AND I'M PLAYING CUPID IN THREE PETTICOATS, AND THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY." "MAYBE YOU'RE NOT DOING THEM AS GREAT A FAVOR AS YOU THINK." "I'M GETTING THEM A LETTER OF CONSENT." "WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT?" "PERHAPS THIS LETTER OF CONSENT IS MERELY A PRETENSE." "AFTER ALL, MR. SPETTIGUE IS OBVIOUSLY A FORTUNE HUNTER." "PERHAPS THE GIRLS ARE AFTER MONEY TOO." "WELL, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE." "MR. SPETTIGUE WAS AGAINST THE MARRIAGES." "OH!" "OH, HE WAS?" "OF COURSE." "THE MOMENT LOVE FLIES IN THE WINDOW, HIS INCOME FLIES OUT." "THE ONLY REASON HE'S CONSENTING IS BECAUSE HE THINKS HE'S GONNA MAKE MORE MONEY BY MARRYING ME." "OH, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT." "I HAVE OTHER PLANS FOR YOU." "YOU HAVE?" "YES." "WHEN YOU JOIN YOUR UNCLE'S FIRM IN THE FALL," "I SHALL INSIST THAT YOU HANDLE MY AFFAIRS." "WELL" " WELL." "IN ALL DEFERENCE TO YOUR UNCLE, I THINK IT MIGHT BE RATHER FUN..." "TO HAVE AN ATTORNEY WHO THOUGHT SOMETHING MORE OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM..." "THAN JUST A- A FUTURE ALIMONY CASE." "DO YOU SOLEMNLY PROMISE TO BE MY FIRST CLIENT?" "I DO." "WELL, TELL ME," "DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST CLIENT?" "OH, YOU DO?" "I DO." "DONNA LUCIA!" "DONNA LUCIA!" "DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT?" "BUT OF COURSE I DO, YOU SILLY BOY." "WHY, I HEARD SOMETHING." "IT'S MY HEART." "IT MAKES AN AWFUL RACKET WHEN I'M WITH YOU." "OH." "LET ME BE THE FIRST TO CONGRATULATE YOU, SIR." "THEN YOU KNOW?" "YES, I KNOW." "OH." "THANK YOU." "DONNA LUCIA!" "THERE'S THAT MOOSE CALLING TO ITS MATE." "YOU'D BETTER GO AND GET THAT LETTER BEFORE HE CHANGES HIS MIND." "AS SOON AS I GET THROUGH WITH SPETTIGUE, I'LL COME BACK AND TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF." "WHAT?" "I MEAN, THESE CLOTHES OFF." "STEPHEN!" "WHA" "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" "I'VE BEEN LOOKING HIGH AND LOW FOR YOU." "I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, MY SWEET." "CHILDREN!" "AMY!" "KITTY!" "MRS. SMYTHE!" "IS THAT THE LETTER?" "YES." "BUT FIRST" "FIRST LET US SEAL OUR BETROTHAL WITH A KISS." "A KISS?" "YES." "NO." "NO, NO, NO." "YES." "YES." "NO." "I'VE BEEN DRINKING." "I DON'T MIND." "JUST ONE." "STEPHEN, NO." "WE'RE TOO OLD FOR THAT SORT OF THING." "OLD?" "NEVER!" "NOW, STEPHEN" " WHEN LOVE CONSUMES YOU, YOU ARE AGELESS." "JUST ONE." "JUST ONE LITTLE, TEENY-WEENY ONE." "VERY WELL." "CLOSE YOUR EYES." "AND KEEP 'EM CLOSED." "YES, DEAR." "NOW GIVE ME THE LETTER." "THERE IT IS." "JUST ONE MORE." "NO, NO!" "NO MORE, STEPHEN!" "NO MORE!" "NO MORE!" "YOU CALLED, UNCLE?" "OH, YES, MY DEARS." "I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU." "BUT WHERE" " WHERE IS MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE?" "AH, HERE." "HERE YOU ARE." "I WANTED YOU ALL PRESENT TO SHARE MY SECRET AND MY HAPPINESS." "MY" " OH, DONNA LUCIA, JUST TO THINK OF IT MAKES MY HEART POUND AND POUND." "NOW, STEPHEN, REMEMBER THERE ARE OTHERS PRESENT." "OH, I'M SORRY, DEAR." "WELL, YOU SHOULD BE." "YES." "IT'S JUST THAT LOVE HAS MADE AN AUDACIOUS BOY OF ME AGAIN." "AND, CHILDREN, CUPID HAS FOUND ANOTHER VICTIM." "A GOOD FAIRY HAS TRIPPED IN AMONG US," "BRINGING WITH HER UNEXPECTED LIGHT AND JOY." "OH, MY DARLING, JUST TO FEEL YOUR GENTLE TOUCH" "PLEASE, STEPHEN, WE'RE NOT ON OUR HONEYMOON YET." "I'VE BEEN DUPED." "YOU" " YOU IMPOSTOR!" "WHO ARE YOU?" "I'M CHARLEY'S NUT FROM BRAZIL WHERE THE AUNTS COME FROM." "WHAT?" "GIVE ME THAT LETTER!" "NO!" "GIVE ME THAT LETTER!" "GIVE IT TO ME!" "NO!" "NO, NO, STEPHEN!" "VERY WELL, KEEP IT." "IT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD." "THERE'S NOT A COURT OF LAW IN ALL ENGLAND THAT WILL UPHOLD IT..." "BECAUSE IT'S ADDRESSED TO DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ!" "AND HAS BEEN DELIVERED TO DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ." "BUT HE ISN'T DONNA LUCIA!" "NO, BUT I AM." "YOU" " OH!" "YOU?" "MY AUNT?" "YES, CHARLEY." "YOU?" "I'M TERRIBLY SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS, AUNTIE." "IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT." "I DID MY SHARE OF DECEIVING TOO." "WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?" "WELL, OF COURSE." "WELL, THANK GOODNESS I SHAN'T HAVE TO CALL YOU AUNTIE ANYMORE." "NO, BUT YOU MIGHT BE CALLING ME UNCLE PRETTY SOON." "MY KITTY!" "MY JACK!" "MY CHARLEY!" "MY AMY!" "MY LUCY!" "MY BABBSIE!" "MY INCOME." "SAY, I WONDER IF HE CAN SUE ME FOR BREACH OF PROMISE."