"Sync  corrections by R3V0LV3R." "Amy." "Amy!" "The same?" "The same." "Still happening every night?" "It's driving me crazy." "You know, it's like I..." "I can't shake it." "I don't know." "It stays with me all day, I just..." "That normal?" "Well, it's not uncommon for someone who's undergone an ordeal to have lingering nightmares." "The same nightmare?" "Every night?" "For six months?" "Have you had any new ideas as to what the dream might be?" "Who the man is, or is there someone that he looks like?" "No." "No I told you." "I can't see the guy's face." "I never see what he looks like." "We've been through all this before." "You keep asking me the same damn questions." "It's like we're going in circles." "I want you to make it go away." "If you like, uh," "I can try another medication." "No." "I'm not taking any more pills." "They don't do shit." "I notice your anxiety level has increased in the last couple of weeks." "Any depression?" "Paranoia?" "Feelings of being followed, being watched?" "I know what paranoia means." "Okay." "Maybe you need to get out of the house." "When was the last time you wrote something?" "I don't know." "Long time." "Jesus, Hank." "It's scalding." "My circulation's been off lately." "Oh." "Yeah." "Think I might go up to the house." "You know, try to knock out a first draft nice and quick." "See what it all means." "Can I stop by on the weekends for a conjugal?" "Now you're trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson." "Nah." "I'm not trying to seduce you." "I just wanna fuck you." "No one, really." "No one, I'm told." "Don't you guys get enough of each other?" " No, no, no, no." " Guess not." "I can't get enough of you." "Thank you, darling." "Thank you." "You want anything else?" "No, no." "I'm fine." "I'm sipping." " Cheers." " Sipping to this cheers." "You look lovely." "Why, thank you." "Mmm-hmm." "God, you are a lucky man." "Yeah, I really am." "You've got the balls of a fucking warrior." "To be able to go through what you went through..." "No, no, listen to me." "Listen to me." "I wouldn't have survived." "I would not have survived." " Your courage..." " I love you." "If you start crying at me, I'm gonna smack you silent." "Oh, piss off." "It's your party, and I can cry if I want to." "You know how I feel about you, Henry." "A fucking battered-down writer we've got." "Will he be publishing?" "And this next one..." "oh, dear god." "Sweet Lord Jesus." "Can you imagine what you're going to come back with?" "Can you see it?" "Can you feel it?" " Oh, I can feel it." " Don't placate me." " I'm not." " I can feel it." "No, I'm telling you I can feel it, I can." "This one is going to be special." "And it is going to open up a whole new world for you, Henry." "You mark my words." "Cheers." "De mort." "It is with great reluctance, and heavy hearts that we send off our dear friend." "Oh, my God." "What is his name?" "Just... it just escaped me." "I don't..." " Henry!" " Henry." "Thank you so much." "Now, Amy." "Are you mad letting him go off by himself?" "Oh, my." "I know you think you've domesticated him." "Over the last nine years, but believe me, he's still quite feral." "She's well aware of it." " Is she?" " Yeah." "Look at you two." "How lovely." "All right, I believe that I can speak for everyone present when I say that this little separation from us ls really going to suck." "And we..." "We all love you and we shall miss you and we have no doubt that you shall emerge from your hermitage with nothing short of a masterpiece." "You realize how blessed you are, Hank?" "You have such great friends." "They adore you." "Do you realize how lucky you are?" "I realize how lucky we are." "What?" "Hmm?" "I love you." "I love you." "I love you so much, and I love this house." "And I love our crazy friends." "I love it all." "What happened?" "You remember when we moved here how much I used to motherfuck this place?" " Every New Yorker does." " Yeah." "Honey." "Honey, it's okay." "Come here." "It's okay." "Here." "Come here." "All right." "Chapter one." "What's this story about, huh?" "What's it about?" "What's it about?" "All right." "Chapter one." "What's this story about, huh?" "What's it about?" "What's it about?" "...everything in his wallet, his ID..." "Goddamn, Hank." "Come on." "Where's the thrilling part of the story?" "That is a brain." "You were not looking for it." "You forgot it." "Doctors like to call that... if you've been hurt In any type of slip and fall accident, you need to contact the office of Maydew, Barron and Temple." "We can recover the monetary compensation you deserve for your injury..." "All right." "Ten bad ideas." "All right, let's say the story is about a lawyer, okay?" "But not a slick one." "He's like one of these slip and fall guys, okay?" "He, uh, he's uh..." "He's Ed." "Ed, the slip and fall lawyer, okay?" "That's who he is." "He's Ed, he comes home." "And he wants to talk to his kids." "He calls his kid up and he cracks open a beer and he... and he waits, and the phone rings." "One ring." "Two rings." "Three rings." "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "No, that's what you do." "This is what you do." "You start it with the attack." "Jump right in." "Start with the dream." "That'll work." "So what does he..." "He's at his house." "He's at his house." "And he's fucking blindsided." "He gets hit." "Boom." "And he gets hit again." "Boom." "And he can hear his kid." "And he can't speak because he gets hit, gets knocked." "And all he can feel is the throbbing in his head." "And the phone is saying "Daddy"..." "Amy!" "And he can't do anything and he goes down and blacks out." "And when he comes to, he's hurtling through the dark." "And he's being pushed by this unseen, unstoppable force." "And it's got him in its grip." "And it's just pushing him." "And he remembers what the cop said." "The cop said, "Be careful." "Be on a lookout."" ""You know, be wary of new faces."" ""This guy might be casing you."" "Have you had any new ideas about who the man is?" "Somebody he looks like?" "He's fucking trying to see this guy, but he can't see him because he's in the fucking dark." "And he can't see his face." "And he's trying to defend himself, but he can't because the guy's got him, and he can't figure out how to get out of the guy's grip so he grabs his laptop and he hits him" "with the fucking laptop." "And for a second, the guy gives up and he tries to get to the light." "He wants to get into the light but he can't because he gets grabbed and he gets brought back into the darkness with this guy and he finds the letter opener and he starts stabbing away at this guy." "And he stabs, and he stabs and it doesn't do shit because this guy's a fucking bear." "He's a fucking wave." "And he sees it coming." "He sees the letter opener coming and bam, hits him right in the stomach, right above the navel." "And it cuts and it digs in deep." "And, and... and he's helpless." "He's helpless to do anything against this guy and he's laying there and he's fucking thinking to himself," ""My, God." "I can't believe this is fucking happening to me."" ""I'm dying."" ""I'm really dying."" "You know, re..." "rework it at the cabin and when he's talking to his kid on the phone, have him scream out for the kid." "I need him to work as his ally, and, uh..." "Call him James." "Call the kid James." "No, call him Jimmy." "That's more like a kid's name." "Jesus Christ." "What the hell's your problem?" "This fucking guy." "Go around me, asshole." "Go around." "I said go around!" "You wanna play games, let's play games." "Try to work in that rest area." "Really creepy location." "It could be cool." "Guess I'll seat myself." "Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt your chores, but could I get a cup of coffee?" "Thanks." "Let me go wash up." "Hey, can I smoke in here?" "Just wondering, 'cause it smells like smoke, and I see you got the ashtrays and the cigarette machines." "Do what you want." "I'm ready when you are." "I don't work here." "You brought me coffee." "You wanted one." "Anybody working?" "Been here a while now, and no one's even poked their head out." "They're in back." "They're just playing cards." "They'll be out as soon as their game is over." "It's usually quiet this time of day." "You on some sort of backpacking trip?" "Not really." "I'll just stick my head in the back." "Just let 'em know I'm here." "No, no, no." "Don't do that." "Why not?" "'Cause the owner, he gets all pissy." "He's got a thing about people going back there." "Hey, do you play Gin?" "Where'd you say you were from?" "Why?" "I don't know." "I'm just trying to place you." "Wonder where I know you from." "Think you know me?" "Maybe." "Maybe you don't know me." "Maybe our paths have crossed." "I doubt it." "Why would you doubt it?" "You play guitar." "Shorten your nails." "Classical?" "Yeah, I used to." "Haven't played in a long time, I keep the nails though." "I don't know why, but I do." "You any good?" "I was." "Then you stop playing, you go from Jimi Hendrix to Rusty Chops real quick." "My brother used to say that." "What?" "That." "Get the flu or some shit, not play for a few days, and he'd say the exact same thing about Rusty Chops." "Must be a musician thing." " Must be." " When did he die?" "When did he die?" "Well, he's dead, right?" "Why would you say that?" "I didn't." "You did." "You said he used to say that." "So what?" "He could've quit." "Doesn't mean he's dead." "He younger or older?" "He was older." "Five years." "So he is dead." "Let me ask you something." "You got any brothers?" "Yeah." "One." "He dead?" "Were you in the bathroom at the rest stop down the road a little while ago?" "Were you?" "Me?" "Yeah." "I stopped there to take a leak." "And I saw..." "I thought I saw you there." "You know." "Your boots." "Underneath the stall." "You were looking under the stall?" "No." "No, I just saw them under there." "The bizarre thing is I came out and had a flyer on my window for this place, and I show up here, you're here." "Don't you think that's strange?" "Why'd you stop me from going back there?" " I didn't." " Yeah, you did." " You got all squirrely." " I didn't." "You didn't want me to go back there." "Why not?" "Because you shouldn't go back there." "I come in here, you're sweeping up by the register." "You got this strange vibe going on." "Something behind this counter you don't want me to see?" "What're you telling me, pal?" "What are you trying to figure out?" "What the fuck are you doing behind my counter?" "Jesus Christ!" "You trying to steal from me?" "No, no." "Why would I do that?" "'Cause you're a goddamn thief come to take me off." "No, I'm not." "And who in the fuck said you could pour your own coffee?" "I didn't." "He did." "I told him to stay out from back there, Gus." "Is he with you?" "He ain't with me, but we were just having some coffee waiting for your game to end, but, he's all right." "He didn't steal nothing." "He just wants something to eat." "He can get his own." "He comes here a lot." "You can't." "I don't know you." "Yeah, yeah." "I understand." "I'm sorry to upset you." "Just I've been waiting out here for a while now." "Was it a long time?" "Shit, I'm sorry." "I was playing solitaire." "I fell asleep." "It sucks getting old." "I'm here now." "You wanna order something, or what?" "Yeah, yeah." "You got soup?" "Chicken noodle." "Just like your mother made." "I'll get a soup and a coffee." "Another coffee." "Order of Sue's soup... and coffee." "I'll get it." " By yourself today, Gus?" " Yep." "You wanna get the soups, I'll get the coffee?" "You're a fucking peach, you know it?" "Don't touch me." "Most people smoke out of habit, with you it seems like some kind of ritual." "What does your wife think of your smoking?" "You drive a pickup truck?" "I don't own a vehicle." "So where you coming from?" "I mean, we're in the middle of the desert." "You gotta be walking distance." "I don't really have a place." "Where do you stay?" "Here and there." "Here and there?" "What's that mean?" "Not having a place isn't such a big deal." "Call me square, but I think being homeless is a pretty fucking big deal." "I didn't say I was homeless." "I just said I don't have a place." "All right." "Whatever." "See, I made a vow with myself a long time ago to try to have as few possessions as possible." "That some sort of religious practice?" "Sort of." "I found that the more possessions you have, the more you've attached to things, and the more you're attached, the more you suffer, so." "Who'd want to suffer?" "That what the whole shaved head thing is about?" "You some sort of wandering monk?" "No." "Just my own thing." "Well, you can keep that religious shit for yourself." "Catholic school beat it out of me a long time ago." "It must be lonely." "What is?" "Not having faith in some mysterious unseen hand behind things." "I find that comforting." "See, I don't need faith." "I have experience." "That's Joseph Campbell." "Go figure." "Wandering monk in the middle of the desert reads Joseph Campbell." "What're the odds of that?" "Plagiarism's a dangerous habit for a writer." "What makes you think I'm a writer?" "You talk about writing." "No, I never talked about writing." "You have the computer." "So I got a fucking computer?" "I could be an accountant." "How would you know that?" "I'm asking you, how would you know that?" "Who the fuck are you, man?" "I know you from somewhere." "You're acting all cagey and all this is just too weird." " What is?" " All this." "Everything." "Me getting a flyer on my car, me coming here, you sweeping up and you don't work here?" " I come here a lot." " Yeah, I know." "You told me." "Now... now what?" "You know I'm a writer?" "I'm asking you." "How do you know this shit?" "Are you fucking stalking me?" "Stalking you?" "Yeah." "You came here." "You found me." "Why the fuck would I be looking for you?" "I don't know." "Why?" "No." "I'll get something to eat somewhere else." "I'm out of here." "Henry." "Did you say my fucking name?" "How do you know my name?" "I'm going to ask you one more time." "Who the fuck are you?" "What is that?" "Where'd you get that tattoo?" "You know where I got it." "Henry, you were next to me." "I did it with a sewing pin." "We got the ink from Tommy Douglass." "I don't know who the fuck you are, or what game you're playing, pal, but my brother died when he was 19." "He drowned." "I know they told you that." "What do you mean?" " He killed himself." " I tried." "But I fucked it up." "Please, just listen to me, okay?" "I went down to Coney Island, I scored a ton of smack, and I shot up, I walked out into the water." "Next thing I knew, I had washed up on the shore down the beach, I don't know how I got there, but the next day the shore patrol... they probably found the suicide note I left in my shoes." "The newspaper said the tide took me out," "I became shark bait." "It happens all the time." "That's probably what they told Mom and Dad." "Do you remember at my funeral?" "Don't talk about my brother's funeral." "It was a closed coffin, right?" "Don't talk about my brother's funeral." "It had to be a closed casket because there was no body." "Here's the body." "Right here." "I'm the fucking body." "No, no!" "'Cause there was a coffin!" "For closure." "For you, for Mom and Dad." "Look, what parent wants to tell their 14-year-old son that his older brother's body was torn apart by boat engines, by sharks, that there was nothing left of him to collect." "When's my mother's birthday?" "When was my mother's birthday?" "September 22nd, 1944." "Where'd my cousin Paul go to college?" "West Point." "Where'd my Aunt Pat live?" "Avenue A." "There was a vacuum repair shop on the ground floor." "She lived on the fifth." "Remember?" "She had birds?" "How do you know this shit?" "Why are you fucking with me?" "I'm not fucking with you, Boog." "I know, 'cause it's me." "Henry." "Henry, I'm sorry." "I never meant to hurt you." "I was just a fucked up kid with a drug problem I couldn't control." "The only thing I thought I could control was ending it." "When I tried and I fucked it up," "I said, you know what, they think I'm dead." "I need to stay dead." "Just stay away." "I knew you'd be fucked up for a while, but in time, you'd all move on, and..." "Henry?" "For closure." "What makes you think I'm a writer?" "God, help..." "God, help me." "It's not..." "Get in the car." "Get in the fucking car." "I don't want any trouble, all right?" "Too late for that." "Get in the car." "I am tired and I'm totally fucking drained, but if you don't get in, I'm gonna throw you in, do you hear me?" "Look, I already upset you, all right?" " Just let me go..." " All right, don't listen to me." "It's fine." "Get in the car." "Right now." "Get in!" "All right." "Calm down." "Calm down." "Stay there." "What do we do now?" "I just need to think." "Okay?" "So please, just..." "just be quiet." "I never had a car." "This is very nice." "Are you fucking deaf?" "I just said sit there and be quiet." "Look, for what it's worth, ever since I went into that ocean, my whole goddamn life's been a lie." "All I've tried to do is stay in the present moment." "Stay in the present, stay in the present, so I could forget my past, but..." "I couldn't." "I thought about you all the time." "You're so full of shit." "All you thought about was where your next fix was coming from." "You're wrong about that." "I never did drugs again after my last attempt." "It was kind of a bottom for me." "That's kind of your bottom?" "I think shooting up a ton of heroin and throwing yourself in the ocean is a fucking bottom, Chris." "I meant I never went lower than that." "What's lower?" "Henry, there is always something lower." "I mean it." "I really did think about you all the time." "I tried to live my whole life in this... in this state of penance to try to make up for what I did, but nothing can fix it." "And you got every reason to shun me from here on." "You do." "I mean..." "I destroyed the first half of our lives." "I did that." "I take responsibility for it." "But you got a chance here." "To repair what's left of them." "I mean this thing, us running into each other after 21 years, it's a miracle." "I mean, we can't blow this shot." "We got a second chance here." "And I get it if you think I ain't worth a second chance." "I do." "It'd break my heart, but I'd get it." "I missed you so much." "I missed you so much." "I missed you, too, Boog." "Bought this a few years ago." "Well, a couple of years at the moment." "There's nothing I can do for you." "Married for nine years." "I've read all your books." "We met each other at a cocktail party." "Man, she's so beautiful." " What's her name?" " Amy." "Wow." "This is yours?" "Yeah, this is ours." "Amy loves it up here, you know?" "We're trying to have kids." "She didn't want to raise them in the city, so, I don't know." "More space, could be outside, play." " Sure." " All that." " It's beautiful." " Yeah, thanks." "Ho-ho." "Not bad." "Yeah, not bad." "Must be the smoke detector." "Might need new batteries." "You'll have to excuse the place." "We haven't been here in months." "So, might not be tip-top shape." "Oh, goddamn." "Forgot to turn the phone on." "Your wife must be worried." "She'll be fine if I call her tomorrow." "Pretty nice, huh?" "Very nice." "How often do you guys get up here?" "Oh, boy." "Not as much as Amy would like, that's for sure." "Listen, pal." "Got a bottle of Jim Beam." "Sound good to you?" "I mean, do you drink or did you take a vow against it?" "Tonight I drink." "That's what I wanted to hear." "Know what the craziest thing about all this is?" "I thought about you all the time as a kid." "But I must've thought about you more this year than in the last ten combined, you know?" "It's like I fucking conjured it." "Why this year?" "Well," "I kind of went through a bit of an ordeal this past year." "Ordeal?" "Yeah, a little bout of stomach cancer." "Oh, Jesus, Boog." "Talk about a swift kick in the ass." "They caught it early, they went in." "Partial gastrectomy." "Gave me chemo, went through the chemo, and I'm okay." "Pretty good." "Knock wood." "How long ago was this?" "They came out the other side about six months ago." "Oh, Jesus, Boog." "I can't imagine what you went through." "No, no you can't." "Pssh." "Thank God for Amy, man." "Man, she was there day and night, just holding my hand through everything, just calm." "You were lucky to have her." "You have no idea." "During all this, you kept coming up." "I kept thinking about us, you know?" "Memories of stuff we used to do." "Shit, I hadn't thought about in years." "It was fascinating how my mind worked." "During the illness," "I'd think about trying to use some of that for the book." "I've heard about this from other people, that when they come up against something that's too much for them to handle, that their minds will protect them in all these different ways." "Like with..." "like memories from a time in their life when things were good." "I've heard this." "That's exactly, exactly what happened." "My mind protected me with this endless flow of home movies that just played in my head of us." " You know what came back to me?" " What?" "This totally floored me." "'Cause I hadn't thought about it in forever." "Do you remember the trip we took to that little lake?" "It was just me, you and Dad." "I don't know where the hell Mom was." "He got this little cabin there right on the lake." "I remember the best part of that trip." "There was two best parts, actually." "One of them is that Dad used to make you cook lunch." "That's right, yeah." "And what did you make?" "Mac and cheese, yeah." "The best mac and cheese ever." "I've tried to make that mac and cheese." " Ah." " Oh, come on." "I'm telling ya." "God, love it." "The other one..." "this is my favorite." "It's the best part of the whole thing." "Every morning, we'd sleep in till about ten." "We'd go down the lake, all the kids with their little rafts, busted up inner tubes." "And you'd go out there, and you'd rent us one of those big silver canoes." "The giant ones." "You remember?" "The brushed aluminum looked like a fucking American Airlines jet." "You'd carry it down over your head and I'd try to hold onto the back, it'd be cracking me in the back of the head, little pipsqueak." "Oh, those kids looked at us with so much envy." "'Cause we were going out in this fucking battleship." "Me and my big brother." "No one ever fucked with me when you were around, you know that?" "You were like a full grown man to me." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "You'd take that thing, big old boat, bring it down to the water, you'd put me in." "I'd sit up right in front like I'm the captain up there." "And all the kids looking at us and we'd just row out, man." "We'd start rowing out." "We'd go right past 'em." "We were going all the way out, man." "All the way to the other fucking side." "Just keep going until they couldn't see us anymore." "That's why I..." "I was really overwhelmed when I got cancer, you know?" "'Cause I was going out on these really dangerous unchartered waters." "I didn't have anybody to protect me." "Thing is, that, uh..." "I don't know, you're hit with this blunt force truth and that is you're alone." "You know, you come in alone, you go out alone." "You were never really alone." "Well, pretty goddamn lonely." "Sure, but you had your wife." "Yes, I did." "After all that, you still smoke?" "Wasn't lung cancer." "Oh, Jesus." "Before you kick him with the whole big brother lecture about stopping smoking, just letting you know, my oncologist tried, didn't work." "This is your journey, Henry." "I'm just glad to be part of it." "I respect your choices." "Shit." "We don't have to be all glum, right?" "I beat it." " Yeah." " Yeah." "You cold?" "No, I'm all right." "I'm freezing." "I'm gonna take a leak." " Remember this?" " Mmm-hmm." "Yeah, it's..." "That's... yeah!" "That's what I'm talking about, uh-huh." "You mind if I just dig in here?" "Go ahead." "Okay, oh, boy." "This is... okay." "All right, let's see what you got." "Holy shit." "What are you..." "you motherfucking..." " Good?" " God damn, it's good." "Oh, Jesus, Chris." "I'm gonna eat the whole damn casserole, that's the problem." "I see the letter opener and there's nothing I can do." "Bam." "It's in me." "I feel every inch of it." "It's just stretching my guts out." "It's just fucking awful, and, and... and brutal, and fucking vivid." "What does your therapist say?" "What does any shrink say?" "He turns it back on me." "He says, what do you think it means?" "I say, I don't know." "Fear of death?" "Just..." "I say, fear of failure." "He says, hmmm." "I say is it fear of sex?" "Work?" "Fear of success?" "Fear of the fucking Red Sox?" "He says, Hmmm." "Maybe you should try these pills." "I say, hmmm." "Maybe I'll give them a shot." "It's the same shit every time." "What do you think it means?" "Okay, you can go fuck yourself." "Oh, oh, oh." "Wait a minute." "Check this out." "What?" "Where you going?" "Look at this." "A puzzle." "Oh, yeah." " Remember these?" " Of course." "You'd start me off with the easy ones, then bring me along." "Yeah, remember the Jackson Pollack?" "Yeah, what a pain in the ass that was." "Yeah, with the splatter paint?" "Oh, my god." "I gotta admit, this one could be a bit more exciting." "I don't know." "I kinda like it." "It reminds me of a poem I like." "Yeah?" "What's the poem?" "It goes, the, um," ""The Leaves in an act of great faith," ""let go of their branches and fall to the ground majestically."" "Yeah, that's... that's pretty." "What do you think it means?" "Could mean a lot of different things." "That's what makes it so beautiful." "No, no." "Not the poem." "Your nightmare." "I don't know." "You know, why live with it?" "The more I realize it's not death that I'm afraid of, dying's easy." "Got a real taste of that." "What do you mean?" "There's freedom in it." "You know, you don't care." "Everything just falls out of your focus." "Just not a priority anymore." "No one expects you to worry about them anymore." "No one expects anything out of you really, except to die with a little grace and not ask them to speak at your funeral." "So all these pressures we kill ourselves with on a daily basis, all these little dragons that we're trying to slay, they all just evaporate, you know?" "All that's left is the big dragon." "It's so big." "So, overpowering." "And they tell you, you've got to fight it." "You take the pills they tell you to take, you eat the food they tell you to eat." "You do everything they tell you to do." "Then you just wait." "You wait to see if they got it all." "And that is a terrible time." "And I realized that... sometime's life puts you in positions where you have no out." "You're waiting for a phone call... a phone call." "To determine the outcome of your life." "What'd that feel like?" "I was pissed." "Pissed?" "No." "No." "I was afraid." "I was deeply, deeply afraid." "I've been scared other times in my life." "Nothing compared to those times." "Every time, you know, I have the dream," "I relive that feeling." "It's a horrible, horrible thing to come to the most important part of your life, and have no say in the matter." "It's horrible." "It scared the piss out of me." "Well, there it is." "There what is?" "What you've been looking for with what the dream represents." "Maybe it's not about fear of dying." "Maybe it's about loss of control." "Maybe, I don't know." "No, Henry." "You've had a breakthrough." "I really think you have." "I think you're ready to let go of it and to move on... to what comes next." "Whatever comes next is gonna have to wait till tomorrow." "'Cause I'm exhausted." "Look, I got extra bedrooms." "Yeah, couch is fine." "'Night, Chris." "Goodnight, Henry." "Ah, Jesus Christ." "Chris?" "Oh, God." "Feel like shit." "My stomach's killing me." "Chris, come on." "I need you to come out here." "My God." "Hey!" "Chris!" "Chris!" "Amy?" "I love you so much." "Amy." "Ame." "Honey, honey, shhh." "I'm sick." "I'm sick." "Amy, I need you to get me some help." "I think you should call for help." "I can't find Chris." "Amy, I found my brother." " Hang the phone up." " Where were you?" " Right here." " No, no, no." "I was looking for you." "You were on that bridge." "I'm right here." "I didn't go anywhere." "Amy?" " Put down the phone." " Ame?" " Henry, there's no chance..." " She called me on the phone." "She called me." " Didn't she?" " No." "Didn't the phone break?" "Oh, my God." "How'd you sleep?" "What?" "The dream." "You didn't have it, did you?" "The dream?" "Of course you didn't have it, 'cause you figured out what it means now." "No, no, Chris." "Listen to me." "Fuck the dream, okay?" "I'm sick." "I'm sick." "I'm dying here, man." "My stomach's cramping up." "I need help." " It's killing me." " I know." "I know." "Shhh." "It's okay, okay." "Goddamn, that was inten..." "That was intense." "How are you?" "You okay?" "I'm fine." "I'm going to the bathroom." " Don't go anywhere." " No, I gotta get going." "Henry, don't run away." "Chris!" "Chris!" "I'm bleeding!" "Chris!" "I'm hemorrhaging." "You gotta call me an ambulance." "Whoa, whoa." "Shhh." "It's okay." "It's all part of the process." "Mmm." "Process?" "What process?" "The dying process." "What did you do to me?" "Shhh." "It's all right." "It's all right." "Oh, my God." "You poisoned me." "You fucking poisoned me." "I knew something didn't feel right about this." "What hasn't felt right, Henry?" "Think." "What hasn't felt right?" "What'd you do to me?" "Hmmm?" "How'd you find me?" "How'd you know I'd be in that diner?" "What's that?" "The earth elements are leaving you, Henry." "The blood, the water, all your fluids are draining out of you." "That's very good." "Why did you do this to me?" "Why did you do this to me, you sick fuck?" "Somebody help!" "Somebody help!" "I'm here to help you, Henry." "No." "Get away from me." "Get away from me!" "You're not my brother." "Of course I'm your brother." "You know that." "My brother died when he was 19." "He drowned." "You could be anybody!" "Were you in the bathroom down the road a little while ago?" "You're using all your energy." "What the fuck are you, man?" "It's getting harder to breathe." "Are you fucking stalking me?" "That's good, Henry." "Relax into it." "It'll all be over soon." "I promise." "Fuck you." "Henry, listen to me." "There's not much time left." "You have come to the most important moment of your life." "To the gap between life and death." "Your whole world is dissolving." "Your body is dissolving." "And all you have left now is your mind." "And for the first time you see it for what it really is, the architect of your entire being." "You created all this." "You created me." "I only say what you want me to say, what you need me to say." "It's your journey, Henry." "Not dying." "Henry who attacked you in the dream?" "A man." "What man?" "What did he look like?" "He was big." "What was he wearing?" "Gloves." "What type of gloves?" " Dark gloves." " Henry, think again." "Think." "What..." "What else was he wearing?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "A suit..." "No, he wasn't, Henry." "Think." "See what's there." "Think harder." "He shined a light in my eyes." "He stabbed..." "He stabbed me." "He stabbed me." "The operation was a failure." "When they opened you up, they saw that the cancer had spread everywhere." "There was nothing they could do for you but send you home, to die with dignity." "You created all this." "The nightmare, the new book, the trip." "Meeting me." "Having your brother back in your life to protect you." "This was all you trying to figure out something you didn't understand." "See, but now you do." "Now you know you're not afraid of dying." "You're just afraid of having no choices." "But, Henry, there's still one choice you can make." "You can choose to let go." "Henry, please." "Make that choice." "Don't let it be made for you." "Rob?" "Rob, he's doing it again." "What did Doctor Park say?" "We have permission to up his morphine, and I think it'll help." "Is he in pain?" "No, no, that's not pain." "That's, uh, that's just more of a reflex, really." "Doctors like to call that the sound of hard effort." "And it can be very difficult to die, but it's not pain." "Rob?" "Would it be okay if I had a minute alone with him?" "Of course." "Just call me if you need me." "So..." "I love you." "It's okay to let go." "Let go, honey." "Let go." "I'll be okay." "Just let go." "Let go." ""Leaves in an act of great faith,"" ""let go of their branches."" ""They fall to the ground, majestically."" "Hey." "What?" "I don't wanna go." "I don't wanna leave." "I don't want you to go either." "I've loved every minute of it." "Every minute of it." "I love you." "Hey, I don't want you worrying about me." "I'll be fine." "Really." "I'll be fine." "I love you, Amy." "I'll be okay, promise." "Oh, my God." "I don't want her to suffer anymore." "I know you don't." "But, Henry, suffering is a choice." "The tighter you hold on, the more you suffer and the more you suffer, the more Amy suffers." "What do I do, Chrls?" "What do I do?" "You let go." "Henry, have great faith." "Fall majestically."