"(DOOR OPENS)" "Mr. Soprano?" "Yeah." "Have a seat." "(TONY COUGHS)" "My understanding from Dr. Cusamano, your physician is that you collapsed." "Possibly a panic attack?" "You were unable to breathe?" "They said it was a panic attack." "The blood and neurological work came back negative." "And they sent me here." "You don't agree that you had a panic attack?" "How are you feeling now?" "Good." "Fine." "Back at work." "What line of work are you in?" "Waste management consultant." "It's impossible for me to talk to a psychiatrist." "Any thoughts at all on why you blacked out?" "I don't know." "Stress, maybe." "About what?" "TONY:" "I don 't know." "The morning I got sick, I'd been thinking." "It's good to be in something from the ground floor." "And I came too late for that, I know." "But lately, I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end." "The best is over." "MELFl:" "Many Americans, I think, feel that way." "TONY:" "I think about my father." "He never reached the heights like me." "In a lot of ways he had it better." "He had his people, they had their standards, they had pride." "Today, what do we got?" "Did you have these feelings of loss more acutely before you collapsed?" "I don't know." "(BIRDS CHIRPING)" "(RUSTLING)" "(DUCK QUACKS)" "TONY:" "A couple months before, these two ducks landed in my pool." "It was amazing." "They're from Canada, and it was mating season." "They had some ducklings." "Come on, get some bread." "(QUACKING)" "TONY:" "My daughter's friend was there to drive her to school." " Meadow, your father with those ducks." "MEADOW:" "The yard smells like duck poo." "You gotta have more than just juice for breakfast." "You need brain food for school." "Happy birthday, handsome." " Thirteen." " He doesn't act it." "The male and female duck made a home in your pool and did it?" "Get out of here!" "You're so gross!" "You want some of last night's sfogliatelle?" " Get out of here with that fat." " One bite." "How do you stay skinny, Mrs. Soprano?" "Him, with those ducks." "If you don't like that ramp, I'll build another." "Maybe it's the wood." "(QUACKING)" "TONY:" "Hey, kids, come here." "They're trying to fly!" "The babies, they're trying to fly!" "Look, they're trying to fly." "MEADOW:" "National Geographic, Dad." "AJ:" "Yeah, super." "AJ:" "You showed us yesterday." " This is great!" "Now my wife feels this friend is a bad influence." "It's so cool you're coming to Aspen with my family at Christmas." "Last year I saw Skeet Ulrich, as close as from where you're sitting." "Miss Meadow, we made a deal." "Keep your grades up and your curfew until Christmas, then you get to go." "I know that." "Good morning." "HUNTER:" "Hey, Mr. Soprano." "MEADOW:" "We're late, Dad." " Happy birthday." " Thanks, Dad." "(SWATS CARMELA)" "You're gonna be home tonight for Anthony Jr.'s birthday party, right?" "Birdman, hello!" "Yeah, yeah." "I'll get home early from work." "I'm not talking about work." "This won't work." "I can't talk about my personal life." "Finish telling me about the day you collapsed." "TONY:" "I drove to work with my nephew." "He's learning the business." "He's an example of what I was talking about before." "Did you call Triborough Towers about the hauling contract?" "I got home too late." "I didn't want to wake the man up." "Did you get up early and call?" "He's always in his office by 6." "I was nauseous." "My mother told me I shouldn't even come in today." "TONY:" "Bear in mind, this is a kid who just bought himself a $60,000 Lexus." " There's that guy Mahaffey." "TONY:" "Get out." "Right there." "Next to the boo-boo in pink." "Back up." "TONY:" "My friend Mahaffey pulling his taffy." "Hello." "TONY:" "We saw this guy." "There was an outstanding loan." "One second." "I don't know where this story is going." "But there are a few ethical ground rules we should get out of the way." "What you tell me here falls under doctor/patient confidentiality." "Except if I was..." "If I was to hear, let's say, a murder was to take place..." "Not that it would, but if." "If a patient tells me a story where someone's going to get hurt I'm supposed to go to the authorities." "Technically." "You said you were in waste management." "The environment." "Dr. Cusamano, besides being your family physician is also your next-door neighbor." "See what I'm saying?" "I don't know what happened with this fellow, I'm..." "I'm just saying." "Nothing." "We had coffee." "MAHAFFEY:" "Help!" "Help!" "TONY:" "Oh, shit." "(TIRES SQUEALING)" "Asshole!" "CHRIS:" "Tony!" "Wait up!" "MAHAFFEY:" "Security!" "(CHUCKLES)" "(THUD)" "(MAHAFFEY WHIMPERS)" "You all right?" "My leg is broken." "The bone's coming through." "Let me see." "I'll give you a fucking bone, you prick!" "Where's my fucking money?" "So you had coffee." "Right." "You son of a bitch, motherfucker." " What are you doing?" "Get over here!" " That's $3000 here. $3000." "Go ahead." "(SCREAMS)" "Where's the fucking money?" "MAHAFFEY:" "I'll get the money!" "I know you will." "You should get a cork in your mouth because you say I'm nothing..." "I'm nothing." "(CRIES)" "Shut up." "What are you crying about?" "HMO." "You're covered." "You prick." "Degenerate fucking gambler." "MELFl:" "Go on." "TONY:" "Next, I had a meeting." "I was called in to consult by a garbage-hauling company I represent." "What's the story with Triborough Towers?" "The manager wants the contract with Dick, but this Kolar Sanitation..." "Another nationwide company." "The Kolar brothers." "Czechoslovakian immigrants or some shit." "These Polacks will haul paper, plastic and aluminum for 7000 a month less than Dick." "They pay us 40 times the monthly for stealing a stop." "PUSS Y:" "That's the thing." "They won't." "Says if he can tell the commie bosses in Czechoslovakia to fuck off he can fucking tell us." " I give up." " Fucking garbage business." "PUSS Y:" "Yeah, I know." "It's all changing." "CHRIS:" "Let me see what I can do." "Sure?" "You over your stomachache?" " Oh, yeah." " Good." "What are you doing here?" "Gabriella sends me down here for the capocollo." "Hey, T, let me ask you something." "Didn't you used to go to school with Artie Bucco?" "A situation came up." "It involves my uncle." "I can't go into details." "That's fine." "But I will say this." "My uncle adds to my general stress level." "It's none of my business but down at the club, the word is your Uncle Junior is gonna whack Pussy Malanga." "He's gonna do it at Artie Bucco's restaurant." "(BOAT HORN HONKS)" "Hey, boys." "How are you?" "Don't move." " Uncle Junior, how you doing?" " Hey." "TONY:" "Hey, good to see you." "Hi there, Chris." "I was talking about you." "It's Anthony Jr.'s birthday tonight, right?" "Don't buy him anything big, we overindulge him." "Okay?" "ARTIE:" "Hey!" " Artie, how's your rash?" " It's itchy." "Come here." " Good to see you." "You'll come over?" " Yeah, have a seat." "You know what it means, one of these mutts gets wet in here?" "It'll ruin his business." "You better sit down with your uncle." "TONY:" "Uncle Junior's my father's brother." "A good guy, just getting old, cranky." "He used to take me to Yankee games when I was a kid." "I love my uncle." "At the same time, when I was young he told my girl cousins I would never be a varsity athlete." "Frankly, that was a tremendous blow to my self-esteem." "LIVIA:" "Who's there?" "It's me, Ma." "LIVIA:" "Who are you?" "Ma, open the door." "LIVIA:" "Anthony?" " Yeah, it's me." "Open the door." "(UNLOCKS DOOR)" "Hi, how are you?" "Jeez, Ma." "Get some air in here." "Did you lock the door?" " Yeah, I did." " Somebody called here last night." " After dark." " Who?" "You think I'd answer?" "It was dark out." "Ma, I'll never understand that." "The phone is auditory." "Dark is an eye thing." "I could understand not going out." "You could get jumped." "But the phone?" "Listen to him, he knows everything." "You want some lunch?" "I got eggplant." "No, no, I just ate." "Know who I just ran into?" "Uncle Jun." "Oh, that one." "You think he ever comes to see his sister-in-law?" "Remember Artie Bucco?" "Kid I went to elementary school with?" "LIVIA:" "Oh, yeah, I still see his mother." "She tells me he calls her every day." "Well, Uncle Junior's gonna make a problem for Artie." "Could affect his livelihood." " What's that?" " CD player." "For who?" "For me?" " I don't want it." " You don't want it." "You love music, all the old stuff's on CD." "Your favorites." ""Pajama Game," Connie Francis." "Here." "(MUSIC PLAYS)" "Come on." "Move around a bit." "It's good for you." "LIVIA:" "What?" "No." " Come on." "Come on." " Stop it." "You need to occupy your mind." "When Dad died, you were gonna do things." " He was a saint." " I know he was." "But he's gone." "You were gonna travel, volunteer." "You've done nothing." "Stop telling me how to live my life." "Just shut up." "I just worry..." "And don't start with that nursing home business again." "It's not a nursing home, it's a retirement community!" "You interact with seniors your own age, go places, do things!" "I've seen women in nursing homes in these wheelchairs, babbling like idiots!" "Here, eat your eggplant." "I told you, I already ate lunch." "All right, listen." "You just speak to Uncle Junior about Artie, okay?" "He respects you." "He'll listen to you." "If your uncle has business with Arthur, he knows what he's doing." "And I don't?" "Well, all I know is daughters are better at taking care of their mothers than sons." "Yeah, and I bought CDs for a broken record." "I expect to see you at Anthony Jr.'s party with your baked ziti." "Only if I'm picked up and I'm brought back home." "I don't drive when they're predicting rain." "You're healthy." "It's good for you to drive." "Use it or lose it." "I gotta go to work." "Sure run off!" "And that night was my son's birthday party." "TONY:" "My wife invites the priest." "He's always at the house." " Hey, Tony." " How you doing?" " You like crème anglaise?" " You bless it, I'll eat it." "She's not coming." "CARMELA:" "Who?" " Grandma just called." "She started crying and hung up." " She needs a purpose." " She's tougher than you think." " So, what?" "No fucking ziti now?" "ADULTS:" "Hey!" "(HUMS)" "(QUACKING)" "(CHUCKLES)" "(OPERA MUSIC PLAYS)" "TONY:" "At first it felt like ginger ale in my skull." "(WHEEZES)" "MEADOW:" "Mom, Daddy just fell!" "CARMELA:" "I'm coming." "Tony!" "Get back!" "MEADOW:" "Daddy!" "Dad!" "CARMELA:" "Anthony Jr., call 911." "(MACHINE CLICKS)" "TONY:" "Dr. Cusamano put me in the hospital, gave me every kind of test." "TECH:" "When you're in the MRI, there's a microphone if you get claustrophobia." "We suggest that you don't do that." "We'd only have to start over again." "Okay." "Hey!" "Carm." " Thought you might want some company." " Yeah." "6:30 in the morning." " How are the kids?" " They're worried about you." "I told Anthony Jr." "we'd rain-check his birthday." "Think I got a brain tumor?" "Well, we're gonna find out." "What a bedside manner." "Very encouraging." "What, are you gonna not know?" "We had some good times." "Had some good years." "Here he goes with the nostalgia." "No marriage is perfect." "Having that goomar on the side helps." "I'm not seeing her anymore." "What about that priest?" "Don't even go there." "Father is a spiritual mentor." "He's making me a better Catholic!" "Well, we all got different needs." "What's different between us is, you're going to hell when you die." "(SIGHS)" "(MACHINE HUMS)" "TONY:" "My nephew, Christopher, was handling the garbage contract problem." "But on this I will also not go into detail." "(BRAKES SQUEAK)" "(CAR DOOR OPENS)" "EMIL:" "Emil Kolar." "CHRIS:" "Chris Moltisanti." "EMIL:" "Hey, in Czech Republic too, we love pork." "You ever have our sausages?" "CHRIS:" "No." "I thought the only sausages they had was Italian and Jimmy Dean's." "See what you learn when you cross cultures and shit?" "My Uncle Evzen doesn't know I came." "If we make any progress, I'll tell him." "Hey, we have to make progress, Emil." "We gotta stop the madness." "Business is changing, we're the younger generation." "We have issues in common." "Emil." "Where'd you go to high school?" "Was it Poland?" "I'm not Polish." "Czechoslovakian, that's a type of Polack, right?" "We came here when I was 9." "I went to West Essex." "You used to play my cousin Gregory in football, he..." " Where's the stuff?" " Yes, yes, yes." "The reason for the visit." "We got it all deployed for you." "Taste the wares, E-mail." "Emil." "(EMIL SNORTS)" "(GUNSHOT)" "The doctors kept me hanging about the tests, as doctors will do." "So my uncle and I played a round of golf and had lunch." "You keep mentioning your uncle." "What's the problem?" "Who do you think you are?" "I'm the person who says how things go, that's who." "Artie's dinner business is nice, upscale people from the suburbs." "Don't ruin his life." "Vesuvio is where Pussy feels safe." "He's been eating here all his life." "You kill him someplace else." "You may run North Jersey, but you don't run your uncle!" "How many fucking hours did I spend playing catch with you?" "MELFl:" "Can we focus more on your immediate family?" "TONY:" "My wife and daughter were not getting along." "Darn, these laser discs are incredible!" "Tony watches Godfather II." "He says it looks just like the movie theater." "Gordon Willis." "Tony prefers II, not I?" "He likes where Vito goes back to Sicily." "With III, he was like, "What happened?"" "Where does Tony rank GoodFellas?" "(CLANKING)" "What, do you have raccoons?" " Somebody's jimmying a window." " What?" "PHIL:" "You have all these security lights, who would try and...?" "Oh, no." "Jeez, Louise!" "Hold it!" "Meadow." "I noticed the glass rattles every time I walk to the laundry room." "Do we have any putty?" "Don't give me that." "You snuck out!" "What's going on?" "You locked my bedroom window so I'd get caught." "Normal people thought you were upstairs doing your homework!" "You have become a master of lying and conniving." "I know I'm grounded." "Patrick's swim meet is tomorrow, and he needed me!" "Grounded for this?" "Oh, no, you're not grounded." "You're not going to Aspen with Hunter Scangarelo!" "AJ:" "Yes!" "But this shit I'm telling you it'll all blow over." "Didn't you admit to Dr. Cusamano that you were feeling depressed?" "TONY:" ""Melfi."" "What part of the boot you from?" "Dr. Melfi." "My father's people were from Caserta." "Avellino." "My mother would have loved it if you and I got together." "Anxiety attacks are legitimate psychiatric emergencies." "Suppose you were driving and you passed out." "Let me tell you something." "Nowadays, everybody's gotta go to shrinks and counselors and go on Sally Jessy Raphael and talk about their problems." "Whatever happened to Gary Cooper?" "The strong, silent type?" "That was an American." "He wasn't in touch with his feelings." "They didn't realize once they got Gary Cooper in touch with his feelings they wouldn't be able to shut him up!" "So it's dysfunction this and that!" "And dysfunction va fangool!" "You have strong feelings about this." "I had a semester and a half of college so I understand Freud." "I understand therapy as a concept." "But in my world, it does not go down." "Could I be happier?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Who couldn't?" "Do you feel depressed?" "Do you feel depressed?" "Since the ducks left..." "I guess." "The ducks that preceded your losing consciousness." "Let's talk about them." "(GRUNTING)" "You can't blame T for being pissed." "You should have waited." "That's the last time I show any fucking initiative." "Imagine how I felt?" "T's running down the business I fucking wet a guy to keep one of our stops." "He's not running it down." "It's just getting harder in New York." "CHRIS:" "One." "Two." "Three." "Come on!" " This is fucked up." " What, Pussy?" "The Kolar uncle is gonna find the kid dead on one of his bins and get out of our fucking business?" "No way." ""Louis Brassi sleeps with the fishes."" "Luca Brassi." " Luca." " Whatever." "There's differences, Christopher." "From the Luca Brassi situation and this?" "Look, if the Kolars know the kid is dead, it hardens their position." "Plus, now the cops are looking for a fucking murderer." "What do you want to do?" "He disappears." "He never comes home." "They know, but they don't know." "They hope maybe he'll turn up... if." "Come on." "Let's get him." "PUSS Y:" "Got him?" "Take him to Staten Island, I'll cut him up." "Pussy, you know, with T collapsing at the birthday what would you do if he was, like, disabled?" "Why would you even ask that?" "Our lecture series in action." "Someone from the university discussing the novels of, I believe, Zora Neale Hurston." "Didn't you just read her in school, Med?" "It's very nice." "You know, Grandma, this place is neat." "You should really think about it." "DIRECTOR:" "This room was renovated last year." "What goes on behind there?" "DIRECTOR:" "Those doors lead to our nursing unit." "This is a nursing home!" "This is a residence, but just in case..." "No, you're not getting me into a nursing home." "You're not listening to what she's saying." "Women in wheelchairs, babbling like idiots!" "Ma, you're not listening." "You think you're so high and mighty, don't you?" "With your fancy office." "Anthony, people come here to die!" "(VASE SHATTERS)" "Oh, my God!" "Somebody get a doctor." "So you've come back for help." "Don't look at that as a defeat." "She's one of those who grew up during the Depression." "But the Depression to her was a trip to Six Flags." "There's that "D" word again." "(SIGHS)" "Stay with your mother." "Now that my father's dead, he's a saint." "When he was alive, nothing." "My dad was tough, he ran his own crew." "A guy like that and my mother wore him down to a little nub." "He was a squeaking little gerbil when he died." "Quite a formidable maternal presence." "I gotta be honest." "I'm not getting any satisfaction from my work, either." "Why?" "Well, because of RICO." " Is he your brother?" " No." "The RICO Statutes." "Oh, of course, right." "You read the papers?" "You know, the government's using electronic surveillance and various legal strategies to squeeze my business." "Do you have any qualms about how you actually make a living?" "Yeah." "I find I have to be the sad clown." "Laughing on the outside crying on the inside." "See, things are trending downward." "Used to be, a guy got pinched, he took his prison jolt." "Everybody upheld a code of silence." "Nowadays, no values." "Guys today have no room for the penal experience." "So everybody turns government witness." "I feel exhausted just talking about it." "Well, with today's pharmacology, no one needs to suffer with feelings of exhaustion and depression." "Here we go." "Here comes the Prozac." "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)" "Mahaffey doesn't have it." "What do you mean he doesn't have it?" "He doesn't have the money." "How can he not have the money?" "The man does not have the money." "We ran the man over with the car." "T, himself." "The man has no wiggle room." "He's bled dry." "So I hear Junior wants to whack Pussy Bompensiero?" " Pussy Malanga." " Oh, Little Pussy." "You think he's gonna fuck with Big Pussy?" "My Pussy?" "Andrea." "Stay with drinks on the house all night." "ANDREA:" "Sorry, Mr. Dante." "SILVIO:" "It's okay." "So your uncle resents that you're the boss." "The sadness accrues." "Your uncle's had a hard-on his whole life." "First, against your father, his younger brother because he was a made man before him." "And now, you." "So, sure, he can't stomach your telling him what to do." "Hesh, I love the man." "The man is driven in toto by his insecurities." "I feel bad I was the messenger." "Your friend Artie, with the restaurant." "Get him out of town." "That way the restaurant closes, the hit goes down someplace else." "You old fucking Jew." "No wonder my old man kept you around so long." "So what about this fucking Jew's 250 on Mahaffey's 100?" "Mahaffey has a new business partner you." "These HMOs pay out millions to doctors, hospitals, whatever." "That MRI I had, $2000 a pop." "Now, we give this Mahaffey a choice." "Either his company pays out phony claims to fake clinics we set up or he pays Hesh the 250 grand he owes him which we know he cannot do." "Or it's a rainy night in Lyndhurst." "Very smart." "Could be major." "Could be as good as garbage." " Garbage is our bread and butter." " Was." "(KNOCKING)" "CARMELA:" "Miss Meadow!" "So, Med." "I'm not going." "Every year, on this date, since you were itty-bitty Mom and Meadow get all dolled up drive into New York Plaza Hotel for tea under Eloise's portrait." "Look, where's yours?" "I have too much homework." "Meadow, its our little tradition!" "We always have so much fun!" "To tell you the truth, I felt it was dumb since I was 8!" "I just go because you like it." "Here I thought this was something we would do long after you got married with girls of your own." "Hopefully I won't be living around here by then." "COMPUTER:" "You've got mail." "Meadow, you can't just lie and cheat and break the rules you don't like!" "What?" "You have something you want to say?" "Mom, do you have any idea how much it means to go skiing in Aspen?" "Do you think that'll happen every year?" "Like lame tea and scones at the Plaza Hotel?" " Goodbye." " Close my door, please." "Artie." "ARTIE:" "Give me a drop." "Oh!" "A drop, not a spurt." "Soave, a drop!" " How are you?" " All right." "Stir the meatballs." " Could you help me out?" " Yeah, what do you need?" "Cruise." "Caribbean." "S. S. Sagafjord, 11 th through the 29th." "Pair of tickets." "I can't use them." "Can you take them off my hands?" " Where'd they come from?" "CHRIS:" "Comps." "Comps?" "What does that mean?" "As manager for the Kitchen and Restaurant Workers Union I administer the dental plan." "You listening to me?" "A couple of dentists got together and awarded me these tickets." "The problem is, I can't get away those dates." "(ARTIE LAUGHS)" "Here." "When was your last vacation?" " Anthony, thank you." " All right." "Mr. Soprano?" "(SIGHS)" "CHARMAINE:" "You cannot accept a gift like that from Tony Soprano!" "No way!" "Listen to me, Charmaine if I stick my hand up the ass of one more lobster without a break I'm gonna go postal." "I don't even want to talk about it anymore, please!" "Art, Melissa, come on, honey." "It's time to go home." "You have to get away." "We have to get away for the marriage." "No!" "It's bad enough that these mobsters patronize the place, okay?" "So what?" "We're not connected." "Right." "Because we just turned down those tickets!" "But the tickets were comps." "Tony is a labor leader." "Arthur, please." "Grow up!" "Does the mind not rebel at any scenario under which dentists are sending the don of New Jersey first class on a Norwegian steamship?" "Come on, Arthur, somebody donated their kneecaps for those tickets!" "Herman, there is no way I can subvert my fucking company." "Have them pay claims for MRls that never happened?" " The paperwork will look real." " How do I not get caught?" "I hate to hear you knocking yourself." "You're a smart guy." "I'm depressed." "I'm so fucking depressed I can't eat, sleep." " You on Prozac?" " Zoloft." "It's similar." " It's supposed to help with gambling." " No shit." "This new generation of antidepressants are supposed to be useful against compulsive behaviors." "That's a shame." "A medication comes along after your gambling gets your fucking hip busted to shit." "I'm trying not to be cynical." "Your debt and the feelings surrounding it is the source of all your problems." "I'm sorry I haven't paid you, Herman." "I know you are." "And I never meant to denigrate Tony Soprano." " Want to walk on the rocks?" " Crutches, I can't." "It's beautiful out there." "Come on, we'll help you." "I go out there to think." "(CAR STARTS)" "Thanks, but no." "Let's try it." "What you were saying before with the MRls and... (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)" "(SHAKES POCKET)" "PAULIE:" "T!" "Dick's looking for you!" "Hey, Tony, I just heard from Triborough Towers." "The Kolar brothers withdrew their bid." "That's good." "That's good." "Listen, by the way, Artie Bucco's here to see you." " I gotta go, guys." " Take care." "TONY:" "Artie!" "Artie, you all right?" " I can't." " What are you talking about?" "We discussed this." "You gotta leave town." "I'm sorry." "NILS:" "This is unacceptable." "I made a reservation two weeks ago." "Sir, people are not leaving, and there are five parties ahead of you." " So what would you like...?" " Can I help you?" "I tore her a new one." "Why don't we just go to another restaurant and eat?" "We're here." "OWNER:" "Mr. Soprano, how you doing?" "Good to see you." "TONY:" "How you doing?" " Signora." " Hello." "This way." "Excuse me." "IRINA:" "Sweetie-pie, I'm hungry." "Tony, where you going?" "Hey." "How are you?" "Good." "You come here?" "When possible." "Those decorating tips you gave me, they really work." "Good." "How you doing?" "MELFl:" "Nils, Nils?" "Do you know who that was?" "Well, I mean, obviously you do." "What, is he a patient?" "You know I can't say." "Decorating tips, yeah, right." "Nils, shut the fuck up." "Mr. Borglund, they're setting up your table now." "Whoa." "IRINA:" "Who was that woman at the restaurant?" "TONY:" "My decorator." "What?" "You're redoing the garbage dump?" "TONY:" "That's funny." "Hey, you better not mess with that hat!" "(IRINA GIGGLES)" "Come on, it's JFK's hat!" "I bought it at that auction." "Give me that!" "Irina, Jesus." "I know there is something more intimate between you and her." "Nothing intimate." "We just talk." "Mr. Soprano, buona sera." "We don't see you." "Where you been?" "Signora Carmela." "Da questa parte." "You know, sometimes life is good." "Life is often good." "Regaleali, for example." "You've been in good spirits the last couple days." "Carmela, there's something I gotta confess." "What are you doing?" "Getting my wine in position to throw in your face!" "You're always with the drama." "Confess already, please." "Get it over with!" "I'm on Prozac." "Oh." "Oh, my God." "I been seeing a therapist." "Oh, my God." "I think that's great." "I think that's wonderful!" "I think that's so gutsy!" " Take it easy." " But I think that's very wonderful." "You'd think I was Hannibal Lecter." "I think it's great." "Psychology doesn't address the soul." "But this is a start." "This is something." "Oh, I'm gonna shut up now." "I'll shut up now." "You're the only person who knows." "The only reason I'm telling you this is because you're my wife." "You're the only person on this planet that I'm completely honest with." "Oh, please." "Hey, goddamn it, I'm serious." "If the wrong person finds out, I get a steel jacket of antidepressant in the back of the head." "I didn't realize you were so unhappy." "I don't know." "My mother..." "You told him about your father, right?" " Who?" " Your therapist." "Yeah." "Yeah, I told him." "Good." "But your mother is the one." "I don't know, I just feel like lately my life's out of balance." "Our existence on this earth is a puzzle." "My own daughter hates me." "She doesn't hate you, Carm." "We were best friends." "Mothers and their daughters." "She'll come back to you." "(PHONE RINGS)" " Hello?" "CHRIS:" "Jesus!" "What's the matter, no social life?" "Blow me." "Dad." "I brought you my primavera." "It's your favorite." " Who is it?" " Christopher." " Hey." " Our friend is back in town." "TV ANNOUNCER: "Little Pussy" Malanga, confused with "Big Pussy" Bompensiero had just returned from Florida..." "So it's gonna go down soon?" "Don't worry." "I got a way to put it to bed." "TONY:" "Come on, Meadow." " Go, Falcons!" " Come on, let's go!" "So when do you need this by?" "Right away." " Way to go, Meadow!" " Beautiful, beautiful!" "I think I can get a party like that together." " Side out?" "That ball hit the line!" " What are you doing, ref?" "Mom didn't come?" "Didn't think you wanted her to." "The car's over there." "Hey, Mr. Dante." "See you, Heather." "You guys played a good game." "Heather Dante." "Where'd she get that spike?" "Don't you think it's unfair what Mom is doing?" "Making this little movie scene out of it." ""The Sad Mom Who Can't Even Come to Her Daughter's Sports Event."" "Dad?" "Don't you think it's totally out there?" "I mean, my Aspen trip." "What is she thinking?" "Dad?" "It's been years since I've been here." "Dad, please talk to her, please." "God, this is so stupid." "Why are we sitting here?" "Your mother thinks you have the capacity to be a top student." "And I agree." "What do you guys want, perfection?" "What are you looking at?" "Your great-grandfather and his brother Frank they built this place." "Big whoop." "Stone and marble workers." "They came over here from Italy and they built this place." "Yeah, right." "Two guys." "No, they were two guys on a crew of, you know, laborers." "They didn't design it but they knew how to build it." "Now find two guys who can put decent grout around your bathtub." "(CAR DOOR OPENS)" "(CAR ALARMS SOUNDING)" "So I feel good." "So I don't know if I'm gonna be needing to come back." "It's not the Prozac." "Why not?" "You said you're thinking clearer and your wife says you seem to be better?" "It's not the medication." "Prozac takes weeks to build up effective levels in the blood." "Well, what is it, then?" "Coming here." "Talking." "Hope comes in many forms." "Well, who's got time for that?" "What is it you want to say to me?" "I had a dream last night." "Uh..." "My bellybutton was a Phillips head screw and I'm working unscrewing it and when I get it unscrewed my penis falls off." "You know, I pick it up and I'm holding it and I'm running around looking for the guy who used to work on my Lincoln so he can put it back on." "And you know, I'm holding it up and this bird swoops down and grabs it in its beak and flies off with it." "What kind of bird?" "I don't know." "Sea gull or something." "A water bird?" "I saw The Birds last week." "Think that planted the idea?" "What else is a water bird?" "Pelican, flamingo." "What about ducks?" "Those goddamn ducks." "What is it about those ducks that meant so much to you?" "I don't know, it was a trip having those wild creatures..." "I was sad to see them go." "Oh, Jesus, fuck." "Now he's gonna cry." "Shit." "Fuck me." "When the ducks gave birth to those babies, they became a family." "You're right." "It's a link." "A connection." "I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my family like I lost the ducks." "That's what I'm full of dread about." "It's always with me." "What are you so afraid's going to happen?" "I don't know." "You work so hard." "You work so damn hard and to see your life's dream burn down." "Look at it this way, you collect the insurance." "You gotta say to yourself, "It could have been worse."" "How could it have been worse?" "Fucking faulty stove!" "Suppose people stopped coming, ever think of that?" "I don't know." "I don't know what the fuck." "He's right." "There's no insurance for that." "Why would people stop coming to the restaurant?" "It's just catching on." "You know what I'm figuring out lately?" "Talking helps." " That's right." " He's right." "He's right." "Hope... comes in many forms." "Absolutely." "TONY:" "Come on." "Here, hold this." "Artie." "Artie, come on." "Hey, hey." "Hey, look at me." "Look at me." "I'll always help you." "Come on." "Come on." "Go cook." "Hey, let him cook." "He'll feel better." "Someday I'll tell him we torched the restaurant." "All right, enough of this shit." "What's wrong?" "You know, a simple "Way to go, Chris, on the Triborough Towers contract! " would have been nice." "That's it." "You're right." "You're right." "I have no defense." "That's how I was parented." "Never supported." "Never complimented." "My cousin Gregory's girlfriend is what they call a development girl, out in Hollywood." "She said I could sell my life story, make fucking millions." "I didn't do that." "I stuck it out with you." "I'll fucking kill you." "Are you gonna go Henry Hill on me now?" "You know how many mobsters are selling screenplays and screwing things up?" "She said I could maybe even play myself." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "Forget Hollywood screenplays." "Forget those distractions, huh?" "What, you think I haven't had offers?" "We got work to do." "New avenues." "Everything's gonna be all right from here on in." "Come on." "Look, it's a beautiful day." "What could be bad?" "It's nice of you to pick me up for the party, Junior." " At least somebody cares about me." " These kids today." "I suppose he thinks once he's got me in a nursing home I'll die faster and then he won't have to drive me anywhere." "If his father was still alive you can bet he'd show more decency and respect for his mother." "Well, my brother John was a man among men." "He was a saint." "Lots of things are different now from Johnny's and my day." "What do you mean?" "I'm not free to run my business like I want." "Aw, isn't that awful." "Just this week, your son stuck his hand in and made it 100 times more difficult for me." "Plus, he thumbs his nose at New York." "What are you gonna do?" "He's part of a whole generation." "Do you remember the crazy hair?" "And the dope?" "Now it's fags in the military." "Stop it, Junior." "You're making me very upset!" "I don't like to, Livia, but I'm agita all the time." "And I'll tell you something else, things are down all across the board." "A lot of friends of ours are complaining." "We used to be recession-proof." "No more." "You can't blame it all on the Justice Department." "Our friends say to me "Junior, why don't you take a larger hand in things?"" "Something may have to be done, Livia, about Tony." "I don't know." "There they are." "Hey, Ma, Uncle Jun." "LIVIA:" "You're using mesquite." "That makes the sausage taste peculiar." " Hi, Grandma." " Happy birthday, my big boy." "Carmela, my mother's here." "Everybody, let's eat." "JUNIOR:" "I want him to open my present first." "HUNTER:" "Meadow, I'm not gonna eat." "Are you?" "(LAUGHING)" "English SDH Subtitles by Gelula/SDI" "Behind every successful mob hit there's a godfather." "For the Soprano family, it's creator and executive producer David Chase." "I've loved gangster movies since I was a little kid." "Public Enemy was the first one I saw." "Just when I thought I was out they pull me back in." "I've always wanted to do this." "Although there's a lot of gangster shows there's Prizzi's Honor and there's GoodFellas." "I don't think they go into the family as much." "And I think it's a good contrast." "You're watching a world which is self- contained, has its own justice." "The same way Popeye and Frankenstein are interesting." "There's comedy." "Uncle Junior is my father's brother." "Good guy, just getting old." "Cranky." "Used to take me to Yankee games when I was a kid." "I love my uncle." "At the same time when I was young, he told my girl cousins I'd never be a varsity athlete." "That was a huge blow to my self-esteem." "There's action." "There's life and death." "It's like capitalism." "It's a parody of capitalism." "Or it's an offshoot of capitalism or something like that." "But the stakes are really high, and when people make a mistake they pay for it." "One." "Two." "Three." "It all started with Tony, really." "Not the family." "It started with Tony and his mother, the problems he was having with her." "I really don't need that right now, Ma." "Aren't we sensitive?" "Him going to therapy." "The family came from there." "The writing was so bizarre." "Such good writing." "You'd laugh." "You never mentioned any of your associates by name." "Except that one fellow..." "Booty?" "Pussy!" "Pussy, Booty..." "I don't know his last name." "Minutes later there's violence." "Shut up." "Get in the fucking car." "Get in there, you miserable fuck." "Very much like real life." "You never knew what to expect." "It's hard to say it's drama or comedy." "I don't quite know what it is." "It's different in that it's a lot harder to categorize." "Time's a-wastin'!" "David has a very different personality." "He's spoiled me for the rest of..." "If this turns into another career, and who knows, but..." "If it does, he's spoiled me for life." "He's not like your normal, regular person." "David is off the wall." "And he's charming." "He can take things from real life which you'd never think would work, but he makes them work." "That's where it comes from." "He grew up there." "It's from what he saw as a kid." "I just trust his words and his concept." "He's wonderful." "Personally, I think he's a pain in the ass." "That's for you, David!" "He's a perfectionist." "He's very specific." "Actors love people who are specific." "At least this actor does." "It's really been fun." "I've done the executive producer job before and I've had more fun with this." "Here we go." "Here comes the Prozac." "It's blown out the way The Simpsons is in a different way." "The Simpsons is on the edge." "We're on the edge of something else." "It's not a typical view of the American family." "Go see who's at the door." "I'm eating." "You won't have any teeth if you don't go see!" "It's a view of the American family a lot of people would find horrible." "They're a family of gangsters." "They're underworld people." "They live in New Jersey." "And David Chase has created a family we can 't resist." "Cheers." "It'll deliver on two counts:" "One, it'll deliver as a gangster show." "Two, it'll deliver as a family drama/comedy." "There hasn't been a gangster having mother problems in movies." "Although, Public Enemy his whole life was all about his mother, now that I remember." "Everything he did was, "Ma, Ma, Ma."" "Listen to him, he knows everything." "John Gotti, life in prison no chance of parole." "We've seen prosecutions in Florida and elsewhere of top Mob figures." "What are you doing?" "Put that back." "(BO XING MATCH COMMENTARY)" "What's the situation on the ground today, right now, in the Mob?" "BRAUN:" "Confusion..." "BRAUN:" "...instability..." "BRAUN: vacuum at the top." "ANNOUNCER:" "What caused it?" "Your sister's ass." "BRAUN:" " policy over two decades to behead the crime families." "ANNOUNCER:" "But wasn 't it, at least in part a disregard within the Mob itself of the rules that served the old dons so well?" " lf the shoe fits." "BRAUN:" "No doubt." "Sil." "Cheer me up, babe." "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." "Is that Pacino or is that Pacino?" "Spitting image." "ANNOUNCER:" "Vincent Rizzo." "RIZZ O:" "Yes." "ANNOUNCER:" "Former soldier in the Genovese family." "Government witness turned best-selling author." "Do you agree with U. S. Attorney Braun?" "The party's over." " He is a wiseguy." "Elaborate." "RIZZ O:" "It's not like it was." " Cloning." " Mexicans are huge in that." " Fascinating." " Because they work as parking valets." "RIZZ O:" "Do I mean that organized crime will go the way of the dodo bird?" "(BRAUN CONTINUES TALKING)" " What the fuck are you talking about?" " Mexicans." " What about them?" " Cell phones." "I'm not talking about cloning cell phones." "I'm talking about fucking sheep!" "Science." "I tell my kids, "Only God can make a life."" "A guy here asks, "What if they had cloned Princess Di?"" "But you know, the heydey?" "You know, the Golden Age or whatever, of the Mob?" "That's gone." "And that's never coming back." "They have only themselves to blame." "They pay this chiacchierone by the word?" "Drug trafficking." " Oh!" "RIZZ O:" "I think it ruined everything." "You're looking at a mandatory 35 to life in prison." "Guys started to rat so they could avoid prosecution." "What's going on with that Princess Di?" "Do you think the royal family had her whacked?" "Last time I take a limo in Paris." "Like you were ever in Paris." "I went for a blowjob." "Your mother was working the bonbon concession at the Eiffel Tower." "You hear what I told him?" ""I went over for a blowjob." "Your mother was working at the Eiffel Tower."" "I got a list of people I wouldn't want cloned." "The mayor of New York, that's the guy least likely to get cloned." "So the code of silence, the omertà, or whatever, just went by the boards." "You're always gonna have organized crime." "Always." "As long as the human being has certain appetites for gambling, pornography or whatever." "Someone's always gonna surface to serve these needs." "Always." "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." "(SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)" " You got D VD players?" " Don't hurt me." "Only people who get hurt are the jerk-offs." "Now step down, nice and easy." "He's got the D VD players." "Quick and painless." "Not to hurt you." "You gotta tie me up." " You gonna be a jerk-off?" " My boss'll think I'm in on it." "We look like we want a merit badge?" "We travel with rope?" "I've got some in the cab." "Please, I need this job." "Okay, get the rope." "I don't know who gave the route, but there's no way I'd go unscathed without being fired." " You want to be scathed?" "So it looks like I didn't give up without a struggle." " Oh!" " That's cool." "Thank you." "That's enough." "No, wait." "Oh!" "Ow!" "That's good!" " Scathed?" " Scathed." "CHRIS:" "He's scathed." "Mr. Miller, my science teacher, he got his car stolen." "You're kidding." "From where?" "His house?" "Um-mmm." "His parking spot at school." "A Saturn." "He only had it a year." "MEADOW:" "The security people are a joke." "Did you hear what A.J. just said?" "Mr. Miller's car got stolen." "Refresh my memory." "Who is he?" "He's your son's science teacher." "While the miller told his tale" "You're up early." "He just bought that car a year ago." "So?" "Insurance will pay." "They don't give full value." "These poor teachers, they don't make a lot." "So he can work his summer vacation." "You could help find it." "I thought I told you I changed my name from LoJack to Soprano." "Laugh." "I'd pee in my pants." "Pussy's got the body shop." "He couldn't ask?" "MEADOW:" "I'm late." " What are you getting in science?" " D-plus." " See what I can do." " That's not what I meant." " He's gotta work for his grades." " At first, at first a ghostly whatever" "Turns a whiter" "Shade of pale" "I'm going back to bed." " Bye, Dad." " See you later." "(ITALIAN WORD)" "Here, eat this." "CHRIS:" "Technology comes to the Bing!" "SILVIO:" "Hey, where you been?" "SILVIO:" "Come on." "CHRIS:" "Let's go." "TONY:" "Hey, is the load here?" "PAULIE:" "Yeah." "(PHONE RINGS)" "If Serge calls, I'll be back." "These new phones, hold, conference, sometimes I get confused." "How complicated is it?" "Answer the phone, take the message." "Voice mail only comes on if you let it ring." "Jesus Christ, Georgie." "I hear there's not as many titles as on laser." "There's more coming." "My internist said the picture's not that different." "But the sound..." "Way improved." "Good." "Nothing beats popping up some corn and listening to Men in Black." " Fuck it!" " It's the damn wires, that's all!" "I'll hook it up." "I used to be an installer." "Why can't you be nice to Brendan?" "We discussed that." "I was gonna come looking." "It's the guy." "It's Serge?" "I'll take it over there." "Serge?" "Press "hold" when you transfer a call." "I'm sorry, Tony." "Now he's not gonna call back." "Brendan's a good earner, T. This jack was his plan." "He's a good kid, but I don't like meth." "Fuck, I gotta call my mother." " Hello?" " Hello, Ma?" "Oh, look who calls." " How you doing?" " I was wondering when you'd call." "You can stop wondering now." "This is it, I'm calling you." "I called yesterday." "You were supposed to call me back." "I phoned your house." "Some operator answered." "I couldn't understand a word she was saying." "That's not an operator, that's an answering machine." "Oh, fancy, fancy." "Here, let me turn the heat off under these mushrooms." "You and Mom are like peas in a pod." "She can't master the phone, but she's 70." "What's your excuse?" "What is she doing now?" "Oh, my God." " Oh, my God." " Ma!" "Ma!" "Hey, Ma!" " Oh, my God!" " Ma!" "Where is she?" " Who is this?" " It's Anthony!" "The mushrooms, they're on fire!" "Get the fire extinguisher under the sink!" "Oh, my God!" "The wall's getting all black!" "Ma, hang up and call 911." "The guy's on the second line." " Aren 't you coming over?" " You press "hold," goddamn it." "I can't, I'm 40 minutes away." "You hang up and you call 911." "Leave the house." "Look at how I live!" "Ma, hang up and call 911." "My mother's got a fire in the kitchen." " Oh, my God." " She's calling 911." "Go there." " I'm on my way." " Thank you, baby." "I know you're busy." "Serge, Serge." "I can't talk now." "I gotta go to an outside line." "All right." "I'll call you back." "Is your mom okay?" "Shit cannot go on like this." "Hey, T. Hey, T." "This teacher, his car, you got a plate number?" "Call my wife." " Have a nice day." " Thanks." "No problem." "Ma." "I wish you'd let me get somebody to help you." " You shouldn't be alone." " Help me what?" " With the housework." " I have my ways." "A stranger could care less about doing it right." "Can I tell you something though, Ma?" "You need company." "Don't start with that nursing-home business again." "This is not a nursing home." "It is a retirement community." "You want me to make you pastina?" "Something in your stomach?" "Ma, now, I've told Tony and I've told you many times." "You can come live with us." "I know when I'm not wanted!" "I invited you to share my home." "If you want me to beg, that's different." "Leave this place that my husband and I shared?" "Well, change can be a positive." "He was a saint." "That son of mine, is he still having those fits?" "They're not fits, Ma." "They're anxiety attacks." "You know, he's on medication." "What BMW's charging us for paint?" "O trippa di zia." " It's been that way for six months." " When was I last here?" "Hey." "We maybe caught a break." "Watchung Avenue said some guys brought a Saturn trying to load it for parts." "Are you saying this car's for Tony and leave it all in one piece?" "Yeah, sure." "It's for the kid's teacher." "My guy said one of those goofballs had a uniform on from Buttfucks." "Whatever, the coffee shop." "I guess the guy works there." "Watchung and what?" "I'm fucking Rockford here." "CASHIER:" "Decaf cappuccino Primo, non-fat Magnifico, double espresso regulare." "I'll take you here." "I think I'll have an espresso." "Paul, you want anything?" "They got any just coffee?" "Our café du jour is New Zealand Peaberry." "Madonna." "Whatever." "That's $4.20." "Pick up there." "One medium du jour, one single espresso." "Here, keep it." "Honey, let me ask you." "My wife was in the body shop around the corner the other day." "The guy in front of her leaves and she sees he dropped his money clip." "But he was already gone." "We'd like to give it back." "She said he was wearing a uniform like that there." "Real black hair." "Tall?" "Little earring." "These stores are everywhere." "Yeah, tell me about it." "Fucking Italian people." "How'd we miss out on this?" " What?" " Fucking espresso, cappuccino." "We invent it and these cocksuckers are getting rich." "Isn't it amazing?" "It's not just money." "It's a pride thing." "All our food, pizza, calzone, buffalo mozzarella olive oil." "These fucks had nothing." "They ate puzzi before we gave them our cuisine." "But this, this is the worst." "This espresso shit." "Take it easy." "She finally agreed to have somebody come in days." "Carmela called an agency, and they sent over this Trinidadian woman." "But no matter what I do, I feel guilty." "Why?" "The real reason is, I can't let her live with us." "That doesn't seem practical, given her personality." "Well, it's my wife." "She won't allow it." "Where are your sisters in this?" "They cut it off with her long ago." "No way she's bunking with them." "So you're carrying all this guilt when your mother is clearly someone who has difficulty maintaining any relationship." "But she's my mother." "You're supposed to take care of your mother." "She's a little old lady." "Not to you." "She's very powerful." "Bullshit." "You accord this "little old lady" an almost mystical ability to wreak havoc." "Let me tell you." "You definitely don't want to get her started." "There are some people who are not ideal candidates for parenthood." "Come on." "She's an old sweetie-pie." "What were some of the good experiences you remember as a child?" "The loving warm ones?" "One time we were down at the shore." "About '68, '69, the whole family." "My father, he tripped and fell down the stairs, and we were all laughing." "The whole family was laughing." "My mother was laughing." "Any other loving experiences?" "Hey, she's a good woman." "She put food on the table every night." "I'm the ungrateful fuck." "I come here, complain about her and I let my wife exclude her from my home." "(DOORBELL CHIMES)" "Hey, Ma!" " You Perrilyn?" " Yes." "Tony Soprano." "Ah." "TONY:" "How you doing?" "PERRILYN:" "I'm fine." "Oh, Livia, your son is here!" "And isn't he a handsome thing." "And look what he brought." "All right, listen." "Let's get one thing straight." "In the hours you're here taking care of my mother, no ganja." "Okay?" "Hey, Ma, fiori." "I'm not dead, unfortunately for some." "The tall ones are delphiniums." "You know, Frankie Valli when he visits Jersey?" "This is the florist he uses." "Aren't they beautiful?" "Want me to put them on the table?" "You make sure the bottom of the vase isn't wet." "Mr. Tony, would you like some tea or something?" "Coke, thanks." "So how's it going today?" "She's stealing." "Who?" "That ditsoon, who." "That beautiful plate Aunt Settimia took from that restaurant in Rome." "It's gone." "I don't know." "She seems like a nice person." "She doesn't fool me for a second." "(PERRILYN HUMMING)" "You sure she stole it?" "You didn't give it to one of the relatives?" "You keep forcing your possessions on people, thinking you're gonna die." "I wish it was tomorrow." "And she's so forward too." "Who does she think she is?" "She's happy, Ma." "She's singing." "Anthony, I don't want her around here." "I can manage somehow." "No, I'm not giving in to you this time." "She stays." "(LIVIA SIGHS)" "Your uncle called here looking for you." "Uncle Jun?" "He sounded agitated." "JUNIOR:" "Jackie, tell them to leave Comley trucking alone." "Didn't know it was a Comley truck." "For 21 fucking years, Comley's put food on my table, protection money." " Chris didn't know going in." " Bullshit." "Want my D VD?" "You can watch Grumpy Old Men." " You gonna be a fucking funny boy now?" "JACKIE:" "Hey!" "You're Sopranos." "You hope you and your uncle can settle, not be invited to a fucking sit-down." "You got a crew of cowards you don't control." "Here we go." "Here we go." "You got a ruling?" "The kids make restitution to Junior." "Done." "It's done." "Christopher Moltisanti's a fucking loose..." "You get him out of a sick bed?" "Hey, fuck that shit." "Giacomino, how you feeling?" "I may be acting boss while your old man's a guest of the government but I wish somebody'd tell my bowels." "They don't obey." "Ah, the fucking chemo." "Maybe I should name a successor." "This day and age?" "Who wants the fucking job?" "Your mom tells me you got a girl coming in to help." "That's good." "All right, I gotta go." "I'll see you soon." "TONY:" "You okay?" "All right." "The smoke he hires for his own mother." "Hey, Mikey, how's the boy?" " What boy?" " The one you sleep with." "Oh." "I'm just kidding." "How's Jun treating you?" "We're covering our nut." "Your nephew retarded?" "Likes to play with trucks?" "What if Jerry Lewis heard you talking like that?" "No, that's muscular dystrophy, Tony." "Too bad they don't have a telethon for fuckface-itis." "They find a cure?" "I'm just kidding you." "Come on, you're a good sport." "You all right?" " Yeah." " You all right?" " Yeah." " I'll see you later." "SERVER:" "Double cappuccino suprema." "CASHIER:" "Double cappuccino suprema." "Thanks." "Excuse me." "A guy fitting the description does work in this branch." "His name is Edguardo Arnaz." "Him and his gay lover both work here." "And I got the address." " Paulie, are you listening to me?" " Yeah." "Again with the rape of the culture." "Can we go find these Spice Girls and get this over with?" "SERVER:" "Two small café du jours." "That's it!" "What happened?" "Beats me." "Did you say something to her?" "I know how to talk to people." "These blacks." "Who knows what they'll take the wrong way." "So she's gone!" "RADIO ANNOUNCER:" "Traffic and weather on this Tuesday morning." "RADIO ANNOUNCER:" "Here's Heather." "HEATHER:" "There's a delay as you get out of the Lincoln Tunnel." "About a 25-minute delay if you're approaching near Deer Route 3." "The queue beginning just before the Bergen Viaduct." "TONY:" "You had orders." "Why didn't you pay his restitution?" "BRENDAN:" "Restitution, okay." "But you know how much your uncle wants?" "$ 15." "You got the wrong truck, that's what happened." "I didn't notice you rushing to give back your fucking D VD player." "I'm enjoying it very much." "I screened The Bank Dick last night." ""Did you warble, my little wren?"" "I'm not gonna pay it." " Oh, yeah?" " I'm serious." "Serious is what happens if you don't pay, by me." "In my thoughts, I use the technique of positive visualization." "How come I always feel undermined?" "By what I did on the Triborough Towers alone, I should've been made." "Boom!" "Hmm." "I'm fucking serious, Tony." "The books are closed." "Did you talk to Jackie about me?" "They're not accepting any new members, okay?" "You know, you got a reputation for immaturity and it's not helping, not paying the tributes the acting boss demands." "Acting boss, my ass." "Everybody knows you really run things since Jackie became the "chemo-sabi."" "Open the fucking door." "Open the fucking door!" "BRENDAN:" "Ow." "Oh." "(DOOR SLAMS)" "All right." "All right." "Fuck it." "But 15 grand is too much!" "I'll tell you what." "You give me the 15 K, I'll talk to Uncle Junior and maybe I can get it to around 10." "One more thing." "You leave Comley Trucking and every other item that belongs to Jun including his hemorrhoid doughnut, the fuck alone." "Got it?" "Yeah." ""Did you warble, my little wren?"" "What will his commission will be?" "Two, three grand." "Ten to Junior." "We're lucky we net 500 bucks from the whole thing." "Ah!" "ARNAZ:" "Who is it?" "What?" "Mr. Arnaz?" "What do you want?" "You seen a schoolteacher's Saturn around here?" "Come here!" "Anybody else here, Desi?" "JEROME:" "Eddie, I'm ready." " Yep." "Here comes Lucy." "JEROME:" "Those people at the airport shuttle are always late." "ARNAZ:" "Uh!" " Eddie!" "You boys drove off in the wrong car." "We ain't saying shit until there's an attorney." "Well, go ahead." "Make a statement." "I got fucking Johnny Cochran here!" "PUSS Y:" "You boys put a crimp in my week." " Ah, mannaggia!" "PUSS Y:" "Get over there." "PAULIE:" "Hey, Puss, here's the fucking set." "Look." "PUSS Y:" "Fucking car's been chopped." "Useless." "That's not it." "Then why is that car inside there?" "That Dodge?" "Why is that motherfucker wearing the fucking plate number I had all week?" " I don't know." " Here's what's gonna happen." "The two of youse are climbing over that fence and shagging those plates." "But the razor wire." "Then one of you stays with us while the other goes and gets another Saturn." "(TONY SIGHS)" " On the lookout for ducks?" " Know the old man pretty good." "Don't look so sad." "Remember how pissed you were about the pool filter?" "They were special, them coming here, huh?" "Don't you think?" "I wasn't into it." "What time's Grandma getting here?" "She had to drive Fanny to the doctor's." "Then she is picking up my parents and they're coming here." "They're each bringing some antipasto." "I complain about my mother, about how she just sits at home and feels sorry for herself." "But she's always ready to drive those friends of hers that can't drive." "I'm proud of her." "It gives me hope." "FANNY:" "It's getting chilly out here." "Make plenty of noise before you open the front door." "You never know who's in there." "There's my Star-Ledger." "Thanks." "Oh, this street, another pain in the ass." "She broke her wrist on the steering column." "A minor concussion." "What about the other woman?" "Hip." "(WINCES)" "We were at the hospital till 2 a. m talking to her doctor and the staff gerontoligist." "They say she shouldn't live alone anymore." "She can't manage the telephone." "Yet you say she's healthy and alert." "Like a bull." "Why?" "I'm just thinking." "I know there are other doctors there, but you know from your own life that depression can cause accidents, poor performance or worse." "So, what are you saying?" "Unconsciously she tried to whack her friend?" "It's interesting that you would even take that from what I said." "Either way, she could need a change in her living situation be around more people." "We were looking at Green Grove." "It's a beautiful facility." "It's more like a hotel at Cap d'Antibes." "Yeah." " But to her it's a nursing home." " She needs to see the distinction." "That, in fact, she's embarking on a rewarding chapter." "I know seniors who are inspired and inspiring." "CHRIS:" "You're not forgetting us, buddy?" "Ladies." "Hey, Kenny Portugal said to say hello." "Oh, yeah." "Kenny." "The fuck is with this cocksucker?" "BOUNCER:" "Back up!" "Mr. Scorsese, good evening." "CHRIS:" "Whoa!" "Wow!" "CHRIS:" "Marty!" "Kundun!" "I liked it." "So my boy at Comley said there's a load of Italian suits." "Those unload fast." "Mario'll take the whole load." "He says shipment moves Thursday at 6 a.m." "Give me one good reason I should not jack this truck." "It's Junior's own fault." "He gives us no choice except to do it again." "Taking that outrageous tribute." "He shits on our heads, we're supposed to say thanks for the hat." "I'm getting nowhere playing by the rules." "Fuck Tony." ""The books are closed." Blow me." "That's some true shit." "They're not confirming any new made guys." "How come?" "Fucking chaos." "Nobody knows who's running things anymore." "Guys don't know who to make payments up the ladder to in some cases." "I'm talking about the year 2000." "The millennium." "Where do we go from here?" "TONY:" "Oh." "Ma, this Virginia ham..." "Go on, get yourself some more." "No, I'm full." "It's good, though." "You never let me feed you." "So getting back to what we were talking about." " You want that lamp?" " Lie down." "That lamp, that's real ormolu." "You know what that's worth when it's new?" "We're fixed good lamp-wise, thank you." "Take it and take the Barcalounger." "Somebody's gotta take this stuff before I die." "Otherwise there's gonna be a lot of stuff here that the junkman's gonna have to cart off to the dump." "Mom, you're not gonna die." "Your stuff won't be hauled off to the dump." "Plan for the future." "The most rewarding chapter of your life's coming up." " You know my good jewelry?" " The stuff Dad gave you." "Some of those pieces came right out of Cartier's window." "Listen, Carm doesn't want it." "Not now." "We want you to live long and wear your sparklers to grandkids' graduations." "I gave it all to your cousin Josephine." "The fuck?" "The good jewelry?" "She always admired it." "They don't have much." "You gave her Cartier rings, and you give me a vibrating chair?" "Your wife never showed any interest in my jewels." "She never complimented me on any of it, as I remember." "Before you do more damage to yourself or your grandchildrens' inheritance you'll stop living alone." "I'm not going to that nursing home." "Green Grove is a retirement community!" "It's like a hotel at Captain Teeb's!" "Who's he?" "A captain who owns luxury hotels or something." "I talked to Mrs. DiCaprio, and she's got a corner suite available." "It's available." "It'll go fast." "Of course it's available." "Somebody died!" "You gotta stop with this black poison cloud all the time." "I can't take it!" "Oh, poor you!" "I got problems at work, problems at home." "I got a friend diagnosed with cancer." "Most parents would be grateful if their children did this!" "I'm not going to that place." "I will go to court and get power of attorney and place you there." "Then kill me now." "Go on, go into the ham and take the carving knife and stab me here." "Here!" "Now please, it would hurt me less than what you just said." "I know seniors that are inspired!" "(LIVIA CRIES)" "Yo, money, we said we'd meet out front, and you're not even dressed!" "I'm taking a pass." "What?" "It's Italian suits, Christopher." "There was a time when being with Tony's crew was all I ever dreamed of." "So what am I doing?" "This is some fucking note here." "Don't wake her up." "Come on, it's 5: 15." "Maybe one reason things are so fucked in the organization these days is guys running off not listening to middle management." ""Fuck Tony." That's a quote." "We have to stick together." "Why be in a crew?" "Why be a gangster?" "Hey, coach?" "Suck my dick." "Yeah." "Yo!" "Hey!" "Yo!" "We need some help over here!" "Okay, let's be very cool, yo!" "Get down out of the cab!" "You heard the motherfucker." "I'm a friend of Billy's." "Your friend on the inside." "Yeah, cool. "Increase the peace," that's our motto." " I'm gonna take my lunch, okay?" " Yeah, whatever." "Come on." "GANGSTER:" "Hold up, man." "You can't drive a Fisher Price." "What's with the gun pointed sideways?" "Get out!" "Come on, get down!" "You drive, I'll direct you." "(GUN GOES OFF)" "Jesus!" "Control your shit, fool!" "Fuck, I'm fucked!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Junior-fucking-Soprano's gonna go ape-shit." "Fuck!" "You excited about coming to live with us, hon?" "You will be." "Trust me." "Look, Ma, here's your stuff." " Wow, they made good time." "TONY:" "Yeah." "You got your own bed and your dresser." "You know, when my grandmother went to live... elsewhere they weren't allowed personal effects." "All right, Ma, sign right here." "(PHONE BEEPS)" "BONNIE:" "Yes?" "Mr. Soprano, do you have an Uncle Junior?" "He tracked me down here?" "Line two?" "Here you go." "I'll call him back." "He'll return the call." "He did?" "It's urgent." "She said he sounded upset." "He'll call back." "Livia, did you ever hear the old Italian saying?" "My aunt used to go:" ""Col tempo la foglia di gelso diventa seta."" "What's that mean, Bonnie?" "Time and patience change the mulberry leaf to silk." "You gonna be all right?" "Yeah, sure." "Thanks for all your help." "I'll make us a nice lunch." "I've got some fantastic prosciutto in there." "(PHONE RINGS)" "Hello?" "Yeah." "It's Christopher." "Yeah." "I've been calling for hours." "Call me on an outside line." "(PHONE RINGS)" "T, don't get mad." "There's been a little shit." " I had nothing to do with it..." " Spit it out!" "Brendan hit Comley again." "He what?" " And the driver, you know..." " No, I don't know." "He caught some friendly fire or something and he's gone." "Oh, fuck!" "What do we do, T?" "Brendan didn't fence the load." "He's thinking it was Mario who dimed us to Junior last time." "Fuck!" "(SIGHS)" "SILVIO:" "Hey, Ton." "Sorry you have to wreck your Saturday like this." "TONY:" "You boys." "You boys, I'll tell you." "It's beautiful stuff, though." " Ton, I'm so sorry." " Shut up." "Just so you realize I had nothing to do with this." " Ton, that's true." "He stood home." " Shut up." "Stood home?" "Did you do anything to stop it?" "Did you offer any guidance?" "What do we mean when we say leadership, hm?" "Part of it's the crank." "But I'm going into detox, swear on my mother." "Brendan, shut the fuck up." "You want to get me clipped?" "What are we gonna do?" "You're gonna put these suits back in the truck and give them back." "Fuck!" "Then call my uncle and tell him it's done." "What about the dead guy?" "Prod him with a stick." "Light a candle to St. Anthony." "But I think you're fucked." "Ton what if this didn't go back?" "Would it be a problem?" "I don't see you assholes putting that rack, and that rack and this rack here back in the truck." "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." "Hmm!" "TEACHER:" "Hey, Mr. Miller, your car is back." "My wife dropped me off and there it was, in my parking spot." "My Uncle Pussy helped my dad locate it." "Uncle Pussy?" "He's in the car business." "I don't know what to say to your dad, I mean, thanks of course." "It's nice and clean too." "Whoa, different keys!" "It's probably too much to hope my papers are still inside the trunk." "WOMAN:" "It's a different color." "MR. MILLER:" "Whoa." "Ooh." "My dad's a hero." "(SNIFFS)" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "MELFl:" "Did you actually lose consciousness like with the ducks?" "No." "Just a shortness of breath and the white spots in my field of vision." "Improvement." "Because I'm sad to put my mother away?" "Sad is good." "Unconscious isn't." "She'll be in very good hands." "You've done the best for her." "She won't speak to me." "That is sad." "But whose choice is that?" "Somehow that doesn't make it any better." "Can you admit to yourself that yes, you're sad but you're angry and full of rage?" "I'm sad." "It's hard to admit that you may have feelings of hatred towards your mother, isn't it?" "You're out of your tree." "Listen carefully." "Of course you love her." "What I'm trying to say is, own the anger instead of displacing it." "Otherwise it defines your life." "It needs to be acknowledged." "It's a good thing time is up." "I don't want to talk to you anymore." ""Hate your mother."" "(STRIP CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)" "Shit." "A what do you call it?" "A menu." "Press two if you know your party's extension." "Is that an operator or an answering machine?" "Let's see." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Press zero." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "GEORGIE:" "Ooh." "English SDH Subtitles by Gelula/SDI"