"Your tea, Miss Marple." "Thank you, dear." "A very pleasant young man." "Rudi?" "Hmm." "For a foreigner, I suppose." "Archie?" "There's going to be a murder." "Bloody man Nehru's too clever by half, that's his trouble." "Jolly good." "I said there's going to be a murder." " What time?" " Seven this evening." "Short notice." "A murder?" "Hinch?" "Hinch?" "Hinch?" " Hinch?" " What is it, Murgatroyd?" " Where are you?" " Hen-house," "Listen to this in the "Gazette"." ""A murder is announced and will take place on Friday October 5th, at Little Paddocks at 7pm."" "That's this evening." ""Friends, please accept this, the only intimation."" "Daft." "What do you think it means?" "It means a drink." "Bad sherry, probably." "People don't announce murders." "Marriages, yes, but not murders." "Put that dreadful paper down." " It isn't a dreadful paper." " You're not even a worker." " I'm writing a book." " I mean real work." "It's some sort of party, I expect." "Aren't there some rather boring bright young things staying at Little Paddocks?" "They'll pin pieces of paper on you and then draw lots." "Somebody's the victim and somebody's the detective." "Then they turn out the lights and everybody screams." "Bourgeois escapism, Mother." "The opium of the people." ""Friends, accept this, the only intimation."" " Sounds very exciting." " Sounds extremely tedious." "Nonsense, Edmund." "I'm going, and you're coming with me." "Opium?" "Surely there won't be opium." " Morning, John." " Morning, ma'am." " Good morning." " Good morning." "A murder." "Isn't it scrumptious?" "What time did you say it was?" "Seven?" "Yes, at Little Paddocks." "Oh, I have a confirmation class." " What a shame!" "You do so love a good murder." " May I see?" "Yes, it's there, in amongst the second-hand pianos and old teeth and cocker spaniels." "It really is an extraordinary announcement, and so uncharacteristic of Miss Blacklock." " Patrick, is this your doing?" " No, indeed, Aunt Lettie." " Whatever gives you that idea?" " I thought it might be your idea of a joke." "I can think of much better jokes than announcing murders in the local rag." " Julia?" " Of course not." "Do you think Mrs Haymes?" "She finds it difficult enough being serious." "Or anything." " It's obviously some sort of silly hoax." " But why?" "It's very stupid." "And in very bad taste." "Bunny, there's nothing to get worked up about." "It's obviously somebody's idea of humour." "But it says today." "Today at seven o'clock." "What do you think is going to happen?" "Easy." "The angel of death will spread his wings on the blast." "I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen." "At seven, half the village of Chipping Cleghorn will be banging on the door, agog with curiosity." "I'd better go and see if there's any sherry in the house." "Poor Lottie, she's so worried." "Two words, five letters and six letters," ""Terminal stiffening of sinews."" "Rigor mortis." "Of course." "Good old rigor mortis." "I wish you wouldn't talk about things like that." "Oh, Hannah, we shall need a bottle of sherry for this evening." "I'm expecting visitors." " I will not be here this evening." " What do you mean?" " I am giving you my notices." " There is no need to give notice." "In the newspaper." "They are coming to kill me." "Nobody is coming to kill anybody." "It's a joke." "Murdering people is a joke!" "In England, everything is a joke." "In Europe, killing people is not a joke." "That is why I escaped." "I promise you, my dear, you are perfectly safe." "You promise?" "If somebody was going to murder you, they'd hardly advertise the fact in the newspaper." "Perhaps in England they would, but perhaps it is you they mean to murder, Miss Blacklock." "(BELLS CHIME)" "You've had the central heating lit, Aunt Lettie." "The whole house felt clammy." "Our precious, precious coke?" "It was that or our even more precious coal." "I remember when there was plenty of coal, plenty of coke." "Plenty of everything." " Was this in the olden days?" " Oh, yes, my dear." "Hello." " Is there a party?" " Welcome to the scene of the crime." "Is it a joke?" "I'm very stupid when it comes to jokes." "Indeed." "There is to be a murder in this room in about...quarter of an hour." "Here you see the funeral wreaths and here the funeral supper." " I don't understand." " Read this." " I was explaining." " It'll be quicker if she reads it for herself." " I must go and lock up the ducks." " I'll do it." "Certainly not." "Last time, you didn't put the latch down properly." "I've read what it says, but I still don't understand." "Nor do we." "Great fun, isn't it?" "You don't think anyone will come, do you?" " I shouldn't think so." " Village people are very inquisitive, you know." "Well, there's a brand-new bottle of sherry on the premises." "So that won't go to waste, whatever happens." "Shall I fetch it, to be on the safe side?" "Lettie wanted you to move the table into the bay." "Work, work, work." "Will it never cease?" "Thank you, Patrick." "When you've done that, would you..." "Fetch the new bottle of sherry from the pantry?" "My pleasure." " Yes, that's better." " How is that better?" "We're prepared for guests, but we don't look as if we're expecting guests." "We give a lovely performance of a quiet evening at home and look astonished if anybody drops in?" " Precisely." " I do hope nobody drops in." "(DOORBELL)" "Somebody at the door." "Mr and Mrs Borgia from along the road." "They brought their own bottle." "Patrick, could you make a huge effort and behave yourself?" "I'll make a huge effort, and we'll see what happens." "Colonel Easterbrook and Mrs Easterbrook to see you." "Thank you, Hannah." "What a lovely surprise." " Well, good evening." " Good evening." "Happened to be passing." "Quite a mild evening." " Central heating on?" " The whole house felt clammy." "Well..." " Lovely chrysanthemums." " A bit scraggy, in my opinion." "(DOORBELL)" "We haven't started ours yet." "Your chrysanthemums?" "Central heating." "Miss Murgatroyd and Miss Hinchcliffe." "Evening." "Good evening." "Good evening." "Such a lovely evening." "We came out for a stroll." "I said to Murgatroyd, "Why don't we pop in and see how the ducks are laying?"" "It's lovely and warm in here." "Have you got the heating on?" "Yes." "I'm told the house felt clammy." "(DOORBELL)" " Well, this is jolly nice, isn't it?" " Bang on." "Bang on?" "Is that what they say nowadays?" "I'm afraid so, Colonel." "Mrs Swettenham and Master Swettenham." " Here we are." " Indeed we are." "I just popped in to see whether you might be interested in a kitten." "A kitten?" "Our cat is about to..." "Be blessed with issue." "Father unknown, but probably various." "The result will certainly be a monster." " Do sit down, Mrs Swettenham." " It's jolly warm in here." " They put the central heating on." " The house was a bit clammy." "(DOORBELL)" "Bet you never had that trouble in India, Colonel." "The odd flood during the monsoon." "No clamminess to speak of." " Mrs Harmon." " Hello, everyone." " Hello, Mrs Harmon." " Hello, Miss Blacklock." "Not too late, am I?" "When does the murder begin?" " No, you're not too late." " Everybody's still intact." "Julian's simply frantic with rage he can't be here." "He adores murders." "He writes his best sermons when he's in the middle of a good thriller." "With four or five decent corpses littered about the place." " Oh, sorry." "I'm talking too much." " No, you're not." " When is the murder going to begin?" " If it's going to begin, it ought to happen soon." "It's just one minute to seven." " Time to pour the sherry, I think." "Patrick?" " Yes." "Phillipa, be a dear." "What do you mean, if?" "I know no more about it than you do." "Oh!" "Well, now." "Yes, perhaps a cigarette." "(CLOCK CHIMES SEVEN)" " Oh!" " It's beginning!" " Archie?" "Archie, where are you?" " I'm here, dear." " Ow!" " So sorry." " (SCREAMING)" " Stick 'em up!" " Stick 'em up, I tell you!" " Isn't it wonderful?" "I must say, it's quite impressive so far." "(GUNSHOTS)" "Somebody switch the lights on!" " Anybody got matches or a lighter?" " Yes, I have." " Try the switches." " They're off at the mains." "(KNOCKING)" " Get the candles, Patrick." " On my way." " He's knocked himself out." " Serves him right." "She's locked in!" "I was cleaning the silver and a man locked me in!" "And then I heard shooting!" " Now, stop it!" " Get the candles!" "Miss Blacklock!" " You're bleeding!" " Something grazed my ear." "There's blood all over you." "Well, ears bleed." "Everybody knows that." "Patrick, where are those candles?" "We can't do anything..." " Phillipa's mending the fuse." " Thank goodness." "Better take a closer look at the fellow." "Good God!" "The man's dead!" " It was just the one fuse gone." " Better see who it is." "Anyone know him?" " Never seen him in my life." " Nor me." "He looks so young." "Do you think he shot himself?" "Could have been an accident if he tripped over that cloak thing." " I know him!" " You do?" "Lettie, it's that young man from the Spa Hotel at Medenham Wells, who came asking you for money." " So it is." " He might have killed you." "He came here to kill you, Lettie!" "Phillipa, give Bunny some brandy." "Julia, run upstairs and get some sticking plasters." "My blood seems to be upsetting everybody." "Ring for the police." "Rudi Scherz." "Swiss nationality, employed here as a receptionist." "Yes, this is...he." "How long was he working for you, Mr Rowlandson?" "I took the liberty in checking in my files before you arrived." "A little over three months." "Good credentials, references, permits, et cetera." "Would you like to have a look at these?" "I'll take your word." "Was he satisfactory?" "Um, quite satisfactory, Inspector." " That sounds to me like a negative judgment." " Purely conjectural." "There were a couple of misunderstandings about the bills, items charged that oughtn't to have been." " We assumed it was carelessness, inexperience." " But it wasn't?" "You now tell me that he was some sort of criminal, so I suppose he could have been trying to cheat our customers." "But it's still different from an armed hold-up." "Any women in his life?" " One of our waitresses." " Name?" "Myrna Harris." "You were friendly with Rudi Scherz?" " I didn't know what he was like..." " We don't know what he was like." "I want you to help me find out." "Well, you always think that anybody who works in reception's bound to be all right." "They're very careful when they employ people, especially foreigners." " Was he with a gang?" " We think he was working on his own." "He was a lovely dancer, nice to go out with." "Best seats at the pictures and bought you flowers and..." "I'm sorry he's dead." "Er, there's one." "Thanks." "Stuff's been going missing, you know." " What sort of stuff?" " From rooms." "A diamond brooch, I think, and a little gold locket." "Might not have been him." "Might've been me." "But it wasn't." " You liked him?" " Yeah." "He talked big, mind you, but I got used to that during the war." "The Poles were bad enough." "The Americans were even worse." "How did he compare to them?" "He talked as big." "Said he came from a rich family in Switzerland, only he couldn't get his money here on account of the currency regulations." "That's what he said." "He didn't wear rich clothes." "Very ordinary." "Not real class, you know?" "I know." "And he'd saved all kinds of people from certain death in the Alps." "I didn't believe that, either." "Did he ever mention Miss Blacklock?" "No, I don't think so." "She sometimes comes here for lunch so he might have met her, but..." "Did he ever mention the village of Chipping Cleghorn?" "Not sure if it was Chipping Cleghorn." "Might've been some other Chipping." "There's a lot around here." "I wouldn't have gone out with him if I'd known he was a crook." "But I'm still sorry he's dead." "Oh!" "Good morning, Inspector Craddock." " You've checked the house?" " Sir." "No fingerprints." "No signs of forced entry." "But the doors seem to be unlocked most of the time anyway." "Scherz seems to have come from Medenham on the bus." "It arrives in Chipping Cleghorn at 6:30." "Why did the lights go out?" "The drawing room and the hall are on the same circuit." "If you can organise for them to fuse at exactly seven..." "You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din." "As you might say, sir." "Tell me about the people here." "Miss Blacklock?" " I think she's all right, sir." " Miss Bunner, is it?" "Nice woman, sir." "But, with respect, a bit scatty." " Patrick Simmons?" " Fancies himself as a joker." " Julia Simmons?" " Just fancies herself." "Good." "Pretty garden." "This is where the incident occurred?" " Yes." " But we tidied up, of course." "Such a mess!" "Tables knocked over, people barging about in the dark." "And a nasty cigarette burn." " But that happens all the time these days..." " Bunny." "I think we should answer the questions." "Thank you, Miss Blacklock." "Tell me when you first saw Rudi Scherz." " Was that his name?" " Yes." "Oh, it was about three weeks ago." "We went shopping for the day in Medenham Spa." "We had lunch at the hotel." "He came over to our table and said he was the son of the proprietor of the Hôtel des Alpes in Montreux, where my sister and I stayed during the war." " Did you remember him?" " Oh, no!" "All these boys at reception desks look the same." " And then he came to see you?" " Yes, ten days ago." "He had some absurd story about his mother being dangerously ill and needing the money to get back to Switzerland." " You didn't give him any money?" " Certainly not." " Very wise." " I was secretary to a financier for many years." "I know all about hard-luck stories and appeals for money." "When he came here, did you sense that he might have been spying out the land, so to speak?" " You mean casing the joint?" " Yes, that's what I mean, Miss Bunner." "Yes, it is quite possible." "I remember he took a keen interest in the house." "But all that elaborate nonsense." "The advertisement in the newspaper." "I just really don't understand any of it." " Do you keep much money here?" " A few pounds, no more." " Jewellery?" " A couple of rings and brooches." " These cameos." " There's nothing worth stealing." "It was revenge, Inspector." "Lettie refused to give him the money, and he came here to kill her." "That's where he shot at you, Miss Blacklock?" "Just a scratch." "Made a lot of blood, but it..." "Tell me what happened." " The clock struck." " Seven." "And then the lights went out." " And next?" " The door opened." " Which door?" " That door." " What about that door?" " Never used." "That's a hangover from when this was two rooms." "So, this door opened and..." "Well, there he was." " A man with a revolver." " A masked man with a revolver." "And I thought..." "Well, I mean, we all thought that it was just some silly joke." " And then he said something." " "Hands up, or I shoot."" " Something like that." " You put your hands up?" "Oh, yes." "It seemed like part of the game." "He shone his flashlight in my eyes." "It dazzled me." "I began to get annoyed about it." "And then?" "Well, then there was the first shot." "Somebody screamed, I think." "And then I felt the pain in my ear." "You see?" "It wasn't just a scratch." " Where were you standing, Miss Blacklock?" " Over here by the table." " I was reaching for the cigarette box." " There are the bullet holes!" "He WAS trying to kill you." "You tell her, Inspector." "She won't believe me." "And having failed to shoot you, he then turns the gun on himself?" "Obviously." " Do you think it's obvious?" " Of course I don't." "Or anyone else, for that matter." "Oh, will you take those away?" "I hate dead flowers." "I picked them fresh yesterday." "Even flowers don't last the way they used to." " Is Miss Bunner a relation of yours?" " No, an old friend." "We were at school together." "About a hundred years ago." " A companion." " We keep each other company." "And the other people who live here?" "Patrick and Julia." "They call me Aunt Lettie, but they're actually distant cousins." "Oh, sorry." "Aunt Dora says the police want to cross-examine everyone." "Is that so?" "This is Julia." "Since you're kind enough to volunteer, Miss Simmons, Inspector Craddock." " This is Sergeant Fletcher." " We've met." " Have you finished with me for now?" " I think so." "Oh, will you be speaking to Hannah?" "Hannah?" " My cook." " She screams a lot." " The poor girl is a refugee." " Nationality?" "I asked her that." "She said, "I do not know." "I have not read ze papers today."" "Please don't be prejudiced against her, just because she tells lies." "There are a lot of atrocity stories around now, but I think there is a real core of truth in some of hers." "I can't help feeling sorry for her." " And she is a very good cook." " When she feels like it." "I shall bear all that in mind." "Thank you." " Tell me about last night." " I told Sergeant Fletcher." " He wrote it all down." " I'd like you to tell me." "Well, a lot of tiresome people called round." " Who?" " In order of arrival?" "Colonel and Mrs Easterbrook, Miss Hinchcliffe and Miss Murgatroyd," "Mrs Swettenham and Edmund Swettenham, and Mrs Harmon, the vicar's wife." "They all said the same things, "Lovely chrysanthemums"" "and "I see you've got your central heating on." Except Mrs Harmon." "She said what everyone else was thinking." ""What time's the murder?"" " You like Mrs Harmon?" " She's the best of the bunch." "And then?" "The lights went out and this man walked in and said, "Stick 'em up" or something equally ridiculous." "Then the shooting started." "It wasn't ridiculous any more." "Was the only light from the man's torch?" "Yes." "And from what you could see, when he fired the shots, was he aiming at Miss Blacklock?" "I shouldn't think so." "A revolver in one hand, a torch in the other, having to keep that door open, everybody all over the place, he'd do well to hit anyone." "If he wanted to take a pot-shot at Aunt Lettie, I can think of better ways of doing it." "Stand behind a hedge and do it." "Bang!" "Understood." "But to fill the room with neighbours and put that advertisement in the newspaper..." "It's more like a student rag." "You're a student, I believe, Miss Simmons." "I'm training as a dispenser at Milchester General Hospital." "But if I'd planned last night, I wouldn't have filled the room with colonels and vicars' wives." "And if you were planning a murder?" "I'm a dispenser." "I'd mix a lethal potion." "Quick and clean and quiet." "Ah." "Should I make a note of that?" "Better not, in case anyone else pops off in suspicious circumstances." " Is your brother at home?" " No, he went out somewhere." " He's a student, too." " Really?" "Milchester University." "Reading engineering." "Occasionally." "He's a bit of a waster." "But I like him, considering he's my brother." "And I believe he was quite heroic during the war." "I might have a word with Hannah, in that case." "Crazy foreign cook?" "An obvious suspect, Inspector." "All my life I am pursued by men in uniform." "I escape to England, thinking I will be safe." "Still I am pursued by men in uniform." " We're not here to arrest you." " No?" " I want to know about last night." " Last night?" "I see the announcement in the paper and I know I am going to be murdered." "I try to leave, but she will not let me." " She is a very strong woman." " Miss Blacklock?" "Yes." "The others are silly but she is strong." "You stayed, and then what?" "The doorbell rings." "I answer the door." "The doorbell rings again." "I answer the door again." "The doorbell rings again." "I answer the door again." "After the people had arrived." "Oh." "I go to the dining room to clean the silver." "I hear shots." "I scream!" "I try the door." "It is locked." "I scream again." "Somebody hits me." "I see blood." " You scream again?" " I think so." " Are you going to arrest me?" " Not today." "(WHISTLES TUNE)" "Gosh." "Am I too late for the sleuths?" "Mr Patrick Simmons." "Am I under suspicion?" "There is a feeling that placing the advertisement was your style of joke." "It is the sort of thing I go in for." "Habitually?" "Occasionally." "At some point, we'd like your version of what happened last night." "It'll be as confused as everybody else's." "Perhaps you'll tell us where we'll find Mrs Haymes." "Our Phillipa?" "She works at Dayas Hall, assistant gardener." " I know it, sir." "Along the road." " Phillipa doesn't say much." "She's nice in an anonymous sort of way." "Not the murdering kind." "But then, nobody is." " Somebody must be." " Unless the fellow shot himself." "Peculiar way to commit suicide." "Equally peculiar way to commit murder." "So, what is your conclusion?" "It's easier being an engineering student than an ace detective." "You arrived home at what time?" "About six." "I had a bath, got changed, then found some sort of party was about to happen." "When you arrived home, which door did you use?" "The side door." "I'm generally a bit mucky, so I never use the front." "Was the door unlocked?" " Yes." "I locked it when I came in." " I see." "Tell me about the...hold-up." "The lights went out as the clock was striking seven." "The door opened and... ..this man shone a torch on us and flourished a revolver and told us to put our hands up." "Which you did?" "No, I didn't, actually." "I thought it was just fun." "And I'd been working all day, so I thought, "Bother it, I'm not putting my hands up."" "You were bored by the whole thing?" "Yes, I was, rather." "Where were you standing?" "By the mantelpiece." "I was looking for my lighter." "When the man shone the torch around the room, did you get the sense that he was looking for somebody?" "No." "He wasn't looking for anybody?" "Thinking about it since it happened, he did it in a vague sort of way, waved the torch about aimlessly, as if he hadn't the faintest idea what he was there for." " When you saw the body, did you know the man?" " No." "But then, I can't really afford to eat at the Royal Spa Hotel." "That being so, presumably you don't keep any valuable jewellery at the house." "I wish I could." "My engagement ring and a couple of brooches." "Are you aware of anything valuable in the house?" "Not what you'd call loot." "Some quite nice silver." "But nothing out of the ordinary." "Miss Blacklock likes to wear her strings of pearls, but they're just costume." "I'm sorry to be so unhelpful." "Patrick says I'm too sensible for my own good." "It's not a bad thing being sensible, Mrs Haymes." "And he stood there, a shadowy figure with a revolver and that blinding torchlight sweeping around the room, and he said, "Your money or your life."" "He said nothing of the sort, Mother." "I've never enjoyed myself so much for years." "Until the bullets started." "Then it was quite dreadful." " Where were you standing when this happened?" " I've no idea." "Where was I standing, Edmund?" "I don't know." " Do you remember who you were speaking to?" " Either Mrs Harmon or Colonel Easterbrook." " I think." "Edmund?" " I haven't the faintest idea." "Do you remember who YOU were speaking to?" "I was in the middle of the room talking to Julia Simmons." "When the man shone the torch, did he hold it still or move it around?" "It was right in my eyes for ages." "I couldn't see a thing." "He moved it around slowly, so as to see what we were all doing." "Three shots were fired." "Two of them hit the wall, one of them injuring Miss Blacklock." "The third killed the intruder." "Was it suicide or an accident?" "It certainly seemed to me like one of those." "Though I did say to Edmund it felt more like murder." "You've just told the Inspector that it was all three." " Don't be silly." " Murder, suicide, and an accident." "I'm simply trying to be helpful." "And I appreciate it, Mrs Swettenham." "Psychology, There's your answer," " Psychology?" " Understand the criminal mind." "Why put the advertisement in the paper?" "Psychology." "Wants to draw attention to himself." "Had a rough time at the hotel, staff looking down on him because he's a foreigner." "Can easily happen." "Chances are some pretty girl turned him down." "Wants to win her affection." "How will he do it?" "He'll be the tough guy." "The gangster, the masked man with a gun, the hero." "A Robin Hood with an audience to play to." " And it all goes wrong." " Took the words right out my mouth." "The crucial moment comes, loses his nerve." "Panics." " Shoots blindly in all directions." " You thought he shot blindly?" "Oh, no doubt about it." "Room full of people, he misses the lot." "Suddenly it becomes real to him." "The dream becomes a nightmare." "Can't face the truth about himself." "Decides to put an end to it all." "Psychology." "Isn't it wonderful, Inspector?" "Archie knows exactly what happened." "Yes, Mrs Easterbrook." "Wonderful." "(GRUNTING)" "Do you like pigs, Inspector?" "I love 'em." "Make a nice rasher by Christmas, this one." "Yes, I'm sure." "Well..." "What can I tell you?" "Anything you remember about the incident last night." "(CHUCKLES) Incident?" "We used to have incidents in the ARP during the war." "Saw some incidents then would make your hair curl." "Enjoyed every minute of it." "You mean, where was I when the shooting started?" "Yes." "Leaning up against the mantelpiece, hoping to God somebody would offer me a drink." "Tell me about the shots." "Were they fired blindly or aimed at one particular person?" "No idea." "The torch was whirling around dazzling everybody." "And...the shots were fired." "All I could think was, it was that damn fool Patrick up to his silly games." " You thought it was Patrick Simmons?" " Process of elimination, really." "Edmund Swettenham's some sort of intellectual communist who writes books." "Bit soft." "The Colonel isn't one for jokes." "Patrick's wild enough for anything, though not robbery with violence." "What about your friend Miss Murgatroyd?" "Did she see anything?" " Murgatroyd!" " Here!" "She's up a tree." "Police!" "She won't be much help." "Listen to her, by all means, but don't take too much notice." " Is it Scotland Yard?" " Inspector Craddock from Milchester." "Oh, even better." "Have you found any decent clues?" "All he wants to know is where you were when the crime took place." "Oh, dear, of course." "I ought to have been prepared." "Alibis." "Uh, now, let me see." " I was with everybody else." " You weren't with me." "I remember that girl screaming and a voice saying, "Put them up, please." ""Stick 'em up!" And he certainly didn't say please." "Oh, dear, I'm sorry I can't be more helpful." "I get so confused." "It's all such a blur." " Is there anything else you want to know?" " No, I don't think so." "The Inspector's already made up his mind about you, Murgatroyd." "No question of it." "I'll say anything that'll help." "If it's likely to help." "I think you'll find the vicar's wife more value than the two of us." "We're more used to pigs." "You've both been extremely helpful and I'm very grateful." "Thank you." "Oh, Hinch, was I very awful?" "I get so flustered." "As usual, you were quite astonishing." "Thank you." "Well, you see, I hate being dazzled, so when he shone the torch I shut my eyes." "And I hate loud noises, so when he fired the shots I shut my eyes even tighter." "I wish it had been a quiet murder." "When did you open your eyes?" "When I was quite sure that the bangs had stopped." "Some people were out in the hall with candles." "Then the lights came on and everybody was normal again." "People in the dark are quite different, aren't they?" "What did you see then?" "The young man, Scherz." "Is that the name?" "Yes." "Was lying there dead with a revolver beside him." "He looked so young and surprised." "It doesn't make sense." "All this, in Chipping Cleghorn." "I agree." "Except I have to make it make sense." "(FLETCHER) They all tell different versions," "Even if they told the same version, it still adds up to nonsense," " An important question, Fletcher," " Sir?" "How good is your typing?" "Rough, but accurate." "Good." "The Chief Constable likes accuracy." "I'll try not to disappoint him." " Sit down, Craddock." " Thank you, sir." " Anything new since your report?" " Information from the Swiss police." " Scherz had a criminal record." " Ah." "Petty thieving." "Falsified entries, cheques." " A dishonest man?" " But in a small way." "Don't small things lead to larger things?" " I'm not sure, sir." " It seems very clear to me." "Scherz travelled by bus to Chipping Cleghorn, evidence of the conductor and two passengers." "He got into the house, probably by the front door." "He held up the company, assembled by placing an announcement in the newspaper, which we know he did, evidence of the cashier in the "Gazette" office." "He then fired three shots." "Two go into the wall and one goes into him." "In my practical world, that means a coroner's jury is going to bring in a verdict of suicide or accidental death." "Either way, we can draw a line across the ledger and turn to the next page." "I have the feeling that that silence indicates that you disagree." " I disagree, sir." " Why?" " I don't know exactly." " Offer me a theory." "Miss Bunner insists that Scherz intended to murder Miss Blacklock." "Is Miss Bunner a reliable witness?" "Utterly unreliable." "She's a very sweet, slightly scatty old lady." "But she's totally sincere and it's all her own idea." "Nobody's put it there, and she insists." "A personal question, Craddock." "How do you get on with scatty old ladies?" "I have nothing against them in principle, sir." "Good." "Because there's one staying at the Royal Spa Hotel." "It's a Miss Marple," "Miss,Jane Marple, She's an old friend of Sir Henry Clithering," "He believes you should take Miss Marple into your confidence," "Show her your report, if you like, She's entirely trustworthy," "Well, thank you for letting me see those, Inspector." "Any observations, Miss Marple?" " Yes, but may I digress a little first?" " By all means." "I should like to show you something." "I'm staying here for a few days, taking the spa waters." "Rheumatism, you know." "Well, you don't know, but when you're my age, I'm afraid you might." "Of course, I couldn't afford to stay here but I have a generous nephew called Raymond." "Now, then, here we are." " A cheque?" " Yes." " He altered it." " He?" "The young man who worked at the desk and who is now dead." "You see, it was for seven pounds and he altered it to seventeen." "A stroke in front of the seven and a "teen" added to the word "seven"." "Yes." "Very neatly done." "As you say, very neatly done." "The bank sent me my cheques this morning and I noticed it at once." " What made you notice?" " I never write a cheque for £17." " But you do for seven?" " Oh, yes, quite often." "Of course, what struck me was that the young man had a shifty eye." " A shifty eye?" " Yes." "The kind that never blinks." "It reminded me of Fred Tyler." " Should I know Fred Tyler?" " Oh, no." "No." "He worked at the fish shop in my village." "Always adding an extra one to the shillings column." "You know, people very rarely check their bills." "Fred Tyler would look people in the eye and smile and steal enough money to take Jessie Sprague to the pictures and buy very loud ties." "Well, as you suggested, you were quite right in your diagnosis." "Rudi Scherz had a..." " More coffee?" " No, thank you." " Miss Marple?" " No, thank you." "I shall last until teatime now." "Thank you." " Yes, I did." " Talk to her again." "There's more to come." "She brought me kippers this morning, instead of herrings, and forgot the milk jug." "You see, he may have told her who it was." " I'm sorry, who what was?" " Who it was put him up to it." " You think somebody put him up to it?" " Well, I..." "Yes, I think that's obvious, don't you?" "To be truthful, it's not all that obvious to me, Miss Marple." "I am so sorry." "Do forgive me." "But, you see, here is a personable young man." "He filches a little here and there, a petty thief, likes to show off to the girls." "Then suddenly he goes off with a revolver and holds up a whole room of people." " Well, he'd never have done a thing like that." " We have witnesses to say he did precisely that." "Oh, no." "You have witnesses to say that he flung open the door and shone a torch." " And pointed a gun." " But it was dark." "How could they possibly have seen the gun?" " You mean..." " They thought they saw a gun." "They heard shots." "They heard him say, "Stick 'em up" or words to that effect." "Afterwards, they saw the gun lying on the floor but they couldn't have seen it when he came in." " Which means somebody else fired the shots." " That's logical." "The same person who persuaded Rudi Scherz to put the advertisement in the paper and to burst open the door, shine a torch and say those ridiculous words." "You're telling me to look for a Mr X?" "A Mr, Mrs, or Miss X, I should say." "You know, Inspector, some of the best murderers are women." "Especially in an English village." "You turn over a stone, you have no idea what will crawl out." " Somebody who wanted to kill Miss Blacklock." " Well, it has that appearance." "Well, I must say, you've turned my entire investigation inside out." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "I didn't mean to interfere, Inspector." " May I cause you yet more trouble?" " If you like." "May I change my mind and have some cheese and biscuits?" "And talk to that girl again." "She's very frightened." " Frightened?" " Someone shot Rudi Scherz." "Somewhere in Chipping Cleghorn, a killer is at large." "You didn't tell me everything, did you, Myrna?" "About Rudi Scherz?" "Yeah, I told you everything." "I told you...nearly everything." " Tell me the rest." " My mum said that I'd be an... ..an accessory before the fact." " Do you know what that means?" " It sounded horrible." "I'm sure your mother's wrong." "What happened?" "Well... ..the night Rudi died, we were supposed to be going to the pictures and then he said he wouldn't be able to come." "And I got cross 'cause I'd just had me hair done." "I told him I didn't fancy being stood up by a foreigner." "And he got mad at that and showed me that advertisement in the paper." "The one that said "A murder is announced"?" "He said it was a silly English joke." "He was always going on about silly English jokes." "What exactly did he say he was going to do?" "He told me he was gonna stage a sham hold-up, pretend he was a gangster, and scare all the people." " Why was he doing this?" " Somebody was paying him." "He said he'd be well into pocket, he was going to buy me... ..a watch." "Somebody paid him to put the advertisement in the paper and do the hold-up?" "Yeah." " Who?" " He never said." " You're sure?" " Sure." "Honest." "I'd tell you if I knew, now that I know it don't make me into an accessory." "Did you know he had a gun?" "I wouldn't go out with a bloke if I thought he had a gun." "Anyway, I don't believe he did." "He told me it was just a silly English joke and that he'd enjoy laughing at their silly English faces." "He wouldn't have done it if he thought he was gonna get shot, would he?" ""It'll be very funny," he said." "Inspector Craddock, have you had any success with Myrna?" " You're right." "She hadn't told me the full story." " No, I thought not." "As you suggested, somebody paid Rudi Scherz to place the advertisement and stage the hold-up." " And no indication as to who it was?" " None at all." "I shall be staying in Chipping Cleghorn for the next few days." "I don't suppose there's anything I can do but I shall, in fact, be at the vicarage in case you should want me." "The vicarage?" "Mrs Harmon, the vicar's wife, is a distant niece." "So I took the liberty of inviting myself." "So I may perhaps see you again in Chipping Cleghorn." "I dare say." "Guess what?" "Um...they want me to be Archbishop of Canterbury." " Close." "Aunt Jane's coming to stay." " Oh, even better." "I knew you'd be pleased." "I seem to remember telling you so a minute ago." "A man dies in highly suspicious circumstances here in Chipping Cleghorn and suddenly Aunt Jane is coming to stay." "Yes, I noticed that, too." "Hmm." "So, whoever paid Scherz to play these silly games is the person who tried to shoot Miss Blacklock?" "It's possible." "He or she could've crept up behind Scherz in the dark, fired and dropped the gun." " He or she?" " We have to keep an open mind." "You mean that refugee woman who works up at the house?" "She's a bit hysterical." "No, I don't mean the maid." "I mean we have to keep an open mind." "It seems obvious that Scherz wasn't the murdering kind, and there's no evidence the gun was his." "It was a German automatic." "Since the war, the whole country's awash with German guns." "Anybody who was in the services might have kept it as a souvenir." "Laura, my dear." "I can't find my pistol." " You don't need it today, do you?" " That isn't the point." " You mean you really can't find it?" " I thought that's what I said." "Oh, my goodness." "It should be in here." " When did you see it last?" " God knows." "Months ago." "I remember clearly, I saw it on Saturday." "On Saturday?" "Are you sure?" "Absolutely certain." "You were grumbling about your collars..." " Come, come, my dear, I never grumble." " You were." "I looked in this drawer and the gun was there." "It was the day after that business at Little Paddocks and I remember thinking, "At least it wasn't your gun he used."" "Unless he took it, did the job, replaced it." "And then stole it again?" "Rather tricky, as the young man was dead." "Well spotted." "Still, we needn't bother the police about it." "It's just an old war souvenir." "No bullets." "No licence, come to that." "Mum's the word." "You're my old war souvenir." "I've got a couple of letters I must write." "The story Rudi Scherz told you when he visited the house was a lie." "He wasn't the son of the proprietor of the Hôtel des Alpes." "Which is why I didn't recognise him." "Who was he?" "He'd had various jobs, a hospital orderly in Bern, a waiter, a shop assistant." "Wherever he went, things tended to disappear." "A picker-up of unconsidered trifles?" "Exactly." "The Swiss police became tired of him so he armed himself with forged papers and came to England." "Another displaced person with a good cover story." " Yes, but why pick on me?" " Yes." "Why should he want to murder Lettie?" " He didn't want to murder you." " It looked as if he did." " He burst in here with a gun and..." " He was paid to do that." " Paid?" " Yes." "Somebody else wanted to have me murdered?" " Is that what you're suggesting?" " That is what the evidence suggests." "Nobody could want to murder Lettie." "It's ludicrous!" "no enemies that I'm aware of and no guilty secrets about myself." "Or anyone else, for that matter." " Hannah's in the kitchen." " Because she's a foreigner, she's a suspect?" "Is that it?" "No, that's not it." "The same applied to Rudi Scherz." "The late Rudi Scherz." "Oh!" "I'm beginning to lose patience with Inspector Craddock." "He's only trying to protect you." "I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself." " But don't you see?" " See what?" "If somebody paid that young man to kill you and it didn't work, then whoever it is, well, he's likely to try again." "It's natural." "You've had a difficult time." "Apart from that, I think you should tell Mr Craddock everything." "What does it matter what I say?" "I am just a refugee." "If I say the wrong thing, you can send me home." "Unless you send me to prison." "Besides, you shouldn't be talking to me." "You should be talking to that nice English lady." " Which nice English lady?" " Mrs Haymes." "Why should I be speaking to Mrs Haymes?" "The young man, he comes to the house and asks Miss Blacklock for money." " You know about that?" " Miss Blacklock told me." "I watch him go." "He stops and talks to Mrs Haymes in the summerhouse." "What might they have talked about?" "I don't know." "How to steal Miss Blacklock's money, I expect." "Miss Blacklock isn't a rich woman." "She is richer than me." "She's richer, too, than Mrs Haymes." "Mrs Haymes is a fine lady who loses her husband and no longer has any money." "She sends her son to school and has to work as a gardener." "That is not a proper job for a fine English lady." "Will you excuse me, please?" "I need the kitchen to myself." "Wrong door, Inspector." "That one doesn't open." "It's from when there were two rooms." " We used to have a table against it." " When was the table moved?" "A couple of weeks ago." "Something to do with flowers." "Phillipa, Mrs Haymes, did a big vase, all twigs and branches and people getting their hair tangled up." "So we moved the table." " Is it nailed up?" " No, just locked." "Do you have the key?" "Yes." "In here, I think." "Oh, yes, here." "There." "Careful." "There might be something resting against the inside." "This door's been opened quite recently, Miss Bunner." "The hinges and the lock have been oiled." "Good gracious." " Which means..." " You'd like to wash your hands?" "Which means?" "When Scherz came in this door and did his party piece, anybody could've slipped out the other door, stood behind him and fired the shots at you, Miss Blacklock." "Are you suggesting that one of my neighbours, one of my nice, commonplace neighbours, slipped through that door and tried to murder me?" "Who's your main suspect, Inspector?" "The vicar's wife?" "We have to be very direct about this, Miss Blacklock." "If you die, who benefits?" "Patrick and Julia." "Oh, and Bunny here gets a small legacy and all the furniture in the house." "I didn't know that!" "Thank you, Lettie!" " It's hardly the sort of thing one talks about." " But I still think you should tell the Inspector." "Yes, I know what you think and I am going to tell him." "I think we should like a cup of tea, if you'd be so kind." "I'm sorry." "I'll see to it." "What is Miss Bunner anxious for you to tell me?" "I'm not worth murdering now, Inspector." "But in a few weeks' time, I might be." "Why?" "Because I shall be a very rich woman." "Please sit down." "Does the name Randall Goedler mean anything to you?" "Perhaps you're a little too young." "He was a financier." "Died just before the war?" "Yes, 1938." "Well, until his death, I was his personal secretary." "Well, more a junior partner, really." "When he died, he left all his money in trust for his wife Belle." "But if she dies before me, I inherit." "A great deal of money." "Randall Goedler was a millionaire so, yes, a great deal of money." "You said you might very soon be a rich woman." "Is Mrs Goedler likely to die?" "Yes." "It may sound callous, Inspector, but you asked the question and that's a truthful answer." "Belle Goedler is a very sweet creature and an invalid." "We exchange cards and letters at Christmas-time and her nurse keeps me informed of her medical condition." "I gather it may now be only a matter of weeks." " Where does Mrs Goedler live?" " In Scotland." " Perhaps I can have the address before I leave." " Yes." "Going back three spaces, Patrick and Julia are the beneficiaries in the event of your death?" " Yes." " But what if you die before Mrs Goedler?" "Belle and Randall had no children." "So, when he made his will he nominated the offspring of his sister Sonia." "And who are they?" "Please don't laugh, Inspector, but I only know them as Pip and Emma." " Pip and Emma?" " Yes," " Who and where are they?" " Nobody knows," "Goedler's sister Sonia married a smooth-talking Greek called Stamfordis." "More or less a crook." "They lost contact with the Goedlers." "It's known that they had two children born in the early 1920s." " So they'd now be..." " 25, 26." "The same age as Patrick and Julia." " Yes." " Is that possible?" "Miss Blacklock's never seen them, Mrs Goedler's never seen them, so yes." "You have a lot of checking to do." " Where are we going?" " Back to HQ." "No, we're not." "I want to speak to Mrs Haymes, see what she was doing in the summerhouse." "I'm happy to verify a statement if it means I can stand up straight." "The dead man, Rudi Scherz, you said he was a stranger to you." "Yes." "Did you at any time have a conversation with him in the summerhouse at Little Paddocks?" "In the summerhouse?" "It's absurd." "Who told you that?" "The statement was made to me that you were seen speaking to him." "I expect it was Hannah." "She tells lies." "I've never met Rudi Scherz in my life." "And I couldn't have seen him." "I'm here every day." "Thank you, Mrs Haymes." " Good morning, Colonel." "Good morning, Inspector." "You're up bright and early." "Habit of a lifetime, up with the lark." "Check the defensive perimeter." "I'm told you have a German pistol." "Yes." "Unofficially, of course." "Souvenir of victory and all that." "May I see it, officially?" "Well, fact of the matter is, Inspector, damn thing's disappeared." "I see." "When?" "All I can tell you is my wife saw it in my drawer last Saturday." "Well, according to my good lady, yes." "I see." "Well, I'll leave you to check your defensive perimeters." "(COWS MOO )" "(MISS MARPLE) You know, the English village has changed since before the war," "That's really because the whole world has changed," "A village like Chipping Cleghorn, it may look the same, simple and peaceful and eternal, but it isn't," "You see, in the old days everyone knew each other." "If someone new came to the village, then they brought letters of introduction." "They'd either been in the same regiment, ship or colony as someone already living in the village." " And that no longer applies?" " Oh, gone forever, I suspect." "The big houses are sold, the cottages converted, and people simply come in from anywhere, from India, Hong Kong, or Italy, and made a little money and are able to retire." "No letters of introduction, no roots." "You had to believe their stories and take them at their face value." "Plus their ration books and identity cards." "Oh, can you really believe in a ration book and identity card?" "Horrible things." "Inhuman." " So, Pip and Emma could be Patrick and Julia?" " Oh, quite easily, I imagine." "But I think they sound rather fun and not at all the homicidal type." "But I'll try and find out." " You will be careful, won't you?" " Oh, of course." "A policeman asking questions is open to suspicion." "But an old lady asking questions is just an old lady asking questions." "(PATRICK) Who's the old biddy?" "(JULIA) Mrs Harmon's aunt," "I could go to my room and pretend to work." "Oh, Mrs Harmon's quite fun." "Pick of the village idiots, really." "Shall I be charming and terribly amusing?" "No." "Not a good idea." "It must have seemed dreadful to you." "Like Chicago come to Chipping Cleghorn." "I was scared stiff." "Well, it was rather an alarming experience." "It must have seemed quite providential when the young man tripped up and shot himself." "Burglary is so violent nowadays." "There used to be a certain grace and decorum about it." " I blame the war." "Don't you?" " And the Viennese waltz." "Absolutely." " Was that the door that he came in at?" " Yes." " I'm told there were bullet holes." " Over here, Miss Marple." "I've never seen a bullet hole." "May I?" "Yes, of course." "Please." "It's a miracle Lottie wasn't killed." " Good gracious!" " But you were severely wounded, weren't you?" " Are you fully recovered?" " Yes, it was a scratch." "I only wear this plaster to get sympathy from my nearest and dearest." "It doesn't work." "Unfortunately." " So you were over here?" " I'd gone for the cigarette box." "Then the lights went out." "Oh, what a delightful lamp." "Dresden." "It's one of a pair." " The other's in the spare room." " Really?" "I'd forgotten about that." " I like nice things, don't you?" " Oh, yes, indeed." "Yes, very much." "I'm afraid I can't work up any enthusiasm for possessions." "Do you like nice things?" " I prefer naughty things." " Julia!" "I have very few possessions, all of them precious and each one a cherished memory." "As for photographs, people don't seem to keep photographs nowadays, do they?" "I do." "I have hundreds, all my nieces and nephews when they were babies and children and grown-up and parents." "Got a horrible one of me with a squint and a fox terrier." "And despite all your aunt says," "I'm sure she's got hundreds of photographs of you all tucked away." " We're only distant cousins." " To tell you the truth, Miss Marple," "I didn't remember these two existed until this year." "I had a letter from their mother saying they were studying in this area." " When did you last see my mother?" " Oh, about 30 years ago." " I remember she was very pretty." " Luckily we've both inherited her good looks." "Not only that." "You're quite right, Miss Marple." "Aunt Lettie has a marvellous photograph album." " We looked through it the other day." " But I'm not obsessive about the past." "Well, I have more past than future." "Oh, don't be silly, Aunt Jane." "My dear, you've married a vicar." "You must know." "We're allocated three-score years and ten." "And I shall soon be overdrawn." "You did it on purpose, didn't you?" " What, my dear?" " Talked about photographs." "I now know that Miss Blacklock had never seen Patrick and Julia in the flesh till they turned up on her doorstep." " And rang the bell." " Exactly." "Tomorrow, I shall explore your village." "It's quite small." "Won't take long." "There are more things in Chipping Cleghorn, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." "I dare say." "Horatio?" "I thought he had a bridge." " Morning, Phillipa." " Hello." " What are you doing?" " Can't you see?" "Well, I'm no gardener." "I mean, you seem to be poking around aimlessly in the soil." " I'm pricking out winter lettuce." " And, um, exquisitely, too." "Please go away, Edmund." "You've no business to be here." "I have business." "Mrs Lucas rang my mama this morning, very anxious to trade one of her surplus vegetable marrows for, um, a pot of honey." "Yes, we're swamped with vegetable marrows." "So I have my alibi, using the word loosely and incorrectly." " There's no question of dalliance." " Good." ""Faultily faultless, icily regular, splendidly null."" " I beg your pardon?" " It's Tennyson writing about Maud." "But it's really about you, Phillipa." "Splendidly null." " It isn't much of a compliment." " It isn't meant to be." "It's meant to stir you into speaking." " What are you like?" "What do you feel?" " That's my business." "It's mine, too." "Oh, can't you see I'm smitten?" "I didn't want to fall in love with you." "I just wanted to worry about the working classes and write my book about the world's misery." "Then you came along." "And you won't even talk to me." " I'm talking to you now." " Not really talking." "Tell me about anything." "Tell me about your husband, if you like." "We met." "We got married." "Harry was born." "Ronald was killed in Italy." "Harry's a nice kid." "I like him." "I think he likes me, too." "Oh, let's get married, Phillipa." "You can go on gardening and I can go on writing my tripey book, and we can sponge off Mother." "My eyesight is defective, but I'm very sincere." "No." "I don't think so." "Well, very well." "In that case, you'd better lead me to that vegetable marrow." "Sergeant Fletcher." "Are you keeping an eye on us?" " Inspector Craddock's orders." " We're going to the village." "It's Hannah's day out, so there's nobody in." " So if you could..." " Watch the house." " The sergeant could make a cup of tea." " Yes, please do." "The door's open." "We never lock doors." "Come along, Bunny, we'll be late." "Oh!" "Oh, you startled me, Sergeant." " I thought you were another burglar." " No, Mrs Swettenham, it's only me." " You came through the back door." " Yes." "It's always open." "I just brought up some of my quinces." "Perhaps you'd tell Miss Blacklock when she comes back." "Of course." "How else could we leave quinces on the kitchen table?" "Murgatroyd?" "Yes, Hinch?" " I've been doing a bit of thinking." " What about?" "Well, that pantomime the other night." "It's all too fishy." "Now, take this revolver." " Well, that's a trowel." " I know it's a trowel." " We don't stock revolvers." " I suppose not." "And this torch." "Go outside, come back in, wave the torch round and the revolver, like he did, and say, "Stick 'em up."" "Because what happened was fishy and I want to find out what made it fishy." "I'll try." "Stick 'em up!" "Exactly." "That's the fishy bit!" "The door at Little Paddocks is just the same." "Lettie Blacklock bought that huge glass doorstop from Elliot's." "Perhaps the burglar used that to keep it open." "That's a non-starter, Murgatroyd!" "You fling the door open, you shout, "Reach for the sky!"" "And then you say, "Excuse me while I adjust the doorstop."" "It's all so awkward." "Give me that revolver." "You'd have shot yourself by now." "He did shoot himself, didn't he?" "Somebody must have held the door open for him." "I'm not at all sure he did shoot himself." "You mean, somebody else shot him?" "That's the only alternative to shooting oneself, in my experience." " You've had experience?" " Of crimes of violence?" "Lots." "Pa-choo!" "Pa-choo!" "Two-gun Hinchcliffe, the terror of Kidderminster." "I don't believe you." "Neither do I. But if it wasn't one of us who killed that boy, it was somebody very like us." " Miss Marple." " Oh!" " Do sit here." " Oh, how kind." "Thank you so much." " I'm on my own." " Oh, dear." "Oh, such a sharp wind." " My rheumatics, you know." " I had sciatica last year." "Agony." "Oh, dear, yes." "Now, then, coffee and cakes?" " Yes, please." " For two." "Thank you." "The cakes here don't look so delicious as the ones in your house." "Hannah made those." "Our cook." "She's very good." "Some sort of a foreigner." "Swiss, I think." "Pity she screams so much." "Oh, well, it's a sign of life." "And the other person I didn't see?" "The young lady who lives with you?" "Phillipa?" "We call her our lodger." "I suppose she is, in a way." " Haymes." " Haymes?" "Oh, yes." "Really." "Yes." "I knew a Colonel Haymes in the Indian cavalry." " Her father, perhaps?" " She's Mrs Haymes, a widow." "Husband was killed in Sicily." "Or Italy." "Oh, how sad." "Oh, here we are." "Now, then, would you like me to pour out?" " Yes, please." " Now, coffee." "They're terribly pink, aren't they?" "Probably an artificial substitute for flavour." "Thank you." "And has she many admirers?" "That waitress?" "I doubt it." "Much too surly!" "Oh, yes." "No, Mrs Haymes." "Oh." "Well... ..young Edmund Swettenham moons around her a bit." "He's a very odd young man." "Writes books, and I..." "I have heard that he's a communist." "Oh, really?" "Well, he must be rather lonely in Chipping Cleghorn." "I'm told they can grow out of it." "Do you believe that?" " Yes, I think that's quite likely." " Good." "And have you known Miss Blacklock long?" "Oh, we were at school together." "Then we lost touch for years." "She was secretary to this millionaire Goedler and..." "Tell me..." "I didn't do wrong, Miss Marple?" "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." "I was living on my own, just with my pension, in a bedsitter." "I saw Lettie's name in the local newspaper." "She was at a charity luncheon in aid of the Milchester Hospital." "And I wrote to her." "Not a begging letter." "It wasn't that." "Oh, no, no, of course not." "No." "You wrote a friendly letter to an old school chum and you met." "She was lonely and you were lonely and she asked you to move in with her." "That's all." "You do understand." "I understand everything about lonely old ladies." "I can tell." "You're very comfortable to talk to, Miss Marple." "You see, I get so angry when I see people taking advantage of Lettie and I do hope that I'm not like that." "She's left me all the household goods and an annuity!" "But that's her decision." "I haven't taken advantage of her, truly." "Oh, no, no." "I'm quite sure you haven't." "No." "And do other people take advantage?" "Young... ..Patrick." "He's had money from her twice at least, to my certain knowledge." "All Lettie will say is, "The boy's young." "Youth must have its fling."" "That's true, you know." "And, of course, he is handsome and a trifle insolent, I agree." "But on the other hand..." "I saw him with an oil can in the garden." "Really?" "And the other door to the drawing room has been oiled." "And I heard him having an argument with Julia the other day." "But that's human nature, isn't it?" "Arguments between brothers and sisters." "Shepherds and shepherdesses." "I beg your pardon?" "The lamp." "On the table." "I noticed that it was the shepherdess and not the shepherd." "Coffee and gossip, Bunny?" "Good morning, Miss Marple." "Good morning." "Won't you join us?" "Thank you, but we are rather late." "Have you done your shopping, Bunny?" "I must call at the chemist." "I need some aspirin and...and corn plasters." "Please, can I pay?" "Oh, no." "I wouldn't dream of it." "Come along, Bunny." "That's it." "Goodbye, Miss Marple." " Excuse me." " Goodbye, Miss Bunner." "She's terribly sweet, Miss Marple." "Such a good listener." "I don't suppose you gave her much choice, Bunny, dear." " No, not that one." " No?" "No, I tried one of those." "They taste of salmon." "Oh." "I think I'll just have the coffee." "Very wise." " So, what were you talking about?" " Family loyalty." "I hope it wasn't as tedious as it sounds." "No, on the contrary." "Very revealing." "Nearly everyone assumes that people murder out of hatred." "But it may be out of loyalty or even love." "Love?" "Tell me again who was in the room that night." "Miss Blacklock, Rudi Scherz..." "And devoted Dora and handsome Patrick..." "Mrs Swettenham of the honey-pot and her serious son Edmund." "Yes?" "The pukka sahib Colonel Easterbrook and the fluffy Mrs Easterbrook." "Not forgetting the cool and distant Phillipa Haymes." " And?" " Am I forgetting somebody?" " Yes." " Julia!" " That's right." "Julia, yes." " Julia." "Pretty Julia is peculiar." "Three and six." "And I'm not a peculiar." "I've always been a good C of E." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "I was just quoting an old song." "I didn't know your name was Julia." " No offence, I'm sure." " There." "Thank you very much." "Thank you very much, Mrs Marple." "Well, yes." "Now, do we believe in Pip and Emma?" "Miss Blacklock says they exist, so we have to." "Even though she's never seen them?" "But they are the only people to benefit from Miss Blacklock's death." "Not necessarily." "Either of them might have married." "Their mother and father might be alive." "You see, they'd all be interested parties." "So the police should be looking for a murderer who..." "Who is either male or female, in the middle twenties, or someone nearly as old as I am." "You also said somebody who would murder out of love." "Yes, but a very special kind of love." "A deep and abiding passion for large sums of money." " Except..." " What?" "That waitress thought you were talking about her." "Oh, it's just a simple mistake." "Yes." "Mrs Goedler's looking forward to your visit, Inspector," "Is she really?" "That makes a change." "She has very few visitors, for obvious reasons." "There's one question I have to ask." "I can guess what it is." " Well?" " She's a dying woman." "She's surviving on drugs and on her willpower but it can't last for more than a few weeks." "And our dear Miss Blacklock was not hurt by the attempt on her life?" "A grazed ear." "Oh, poor Blackie." "You know about her family background?" "No." "Is it important to your investigation?" " I have no idea." " Well, let me ramble on and stop me if it becomes boring." "Agreed?" "Agreed." "Two sisters." "The father, an old country doctor and a tyrant." "Lettie rebelled, ran away to London, made herself into a chartered accountant." "The other sister, Charlotte, was an invalid." "Now, when the old man died, Blackie left the firm to go and look after her sister." "Randall was furious with her, shouted at her, but she was determined." "She took her sister to Switzerland." " Tell me about your husband's sister." " Sonia?" "She was wild." "I was fond of her." "But we've lost touch." "She married this chap Stamfordis, a genuine crook, have no doubt." "You'd have enjoyed locking him up." "Randall disapproved of the marriage, but Sonia took no notice." "We got a letter about 18 months after the wedding" "so she intended to call them Pip and Emma." "We forgot about them." "A terrible thing to say about one's relatives." "But Mr Goedler left his estate to the children in the event of Miss Blacklock predeceasing you." "The lawyers pestered him." "He told them that Blackie was strong as a horse and I was delicate, but they insisted." "Lawyers do." "They're so serious about life and death, things like that." "But you have no idea where they may be, your sister-in-law, her husband, or their children?" "They may be dead." "They may be anywhere." "They may be... ..in Chipping Cleghorn." "Indeed they may." "Don't let them hurt Blackie." "She's too good to lose." "Sardine sandwiches, and tomato and some of those little scones you do so nicely." "And I want you to make your special cake." "My cake?" "Is it a party, you want such things?" "It's Miss Bunner's birthday, people are coming to tea." "Birthdays!" "Parties!" "At her age, it's better to forget." "She doesn't want to forget." "She wants a cake." "I want her to have a cake." "I have nothing to make such a cake." "I need butter, sugar, chocolate, raisins." "Butter." "Sugar." "Chocolate." "Raisins." " Where do you get such things?" " None of your business, Hannah." "Very well, I shall make such a cake!" "With icing." "And on the top, I will write," " "Good wishes."" " Thank you, Hannah." "I will show your English friends what such a cake should taste like." "English cakes taste like sand." "My cake will taste like heaven." "I'm sure it will." " You must tell Mr Patrick not to call it names." " I'm sure he wouldn't dream of it." "My last cake, he calls it "Delicious death"." "Oh, but that's a compliment!" "Death is a compliment?" "# Happy birthday to you" "# Happy birthday, dear Bunny" "# Happy birthday to you #" "Delicious death!" "Hannah doesn't like you talking like that." " She disapproves of everything I do." " Well, it looks a lovely cake." "Foreigners." "They make damn good cakes." "It's plain boiled pudding that stumps them." "Got a new gardener?" "Saw a chap snooping round the hen-house." " No, that's our own special detective." " Detective?" "Why?" " To protect Lettie." " Isn't that all over?" " They adjourned the inquest." " Police not satisfied." " They never are." " As I see it, we're all under suspicion." " Suspicion of what?" " Here and now, I'd say loitering with intent." "That sounds amusing." "What sort of intent?" "Intent to commit murder upon the first opportunity." "Please don't, Mr Swettenham." "It's so awful." " Don't distress yourself." " Come on, Bunny." "It's usually me who spoils the party with a bad joke." "Mrs Easterbrook." "Colonel." "Afternoon." "Sergeant." "We thought you might like a piece of cake." "Oh, thank you." "That's very kind." "All the suspects have gone home now." "Are you under orders to stay?" "We do sleep sounder for the police presence." "Good." " Did you enjoy your party?" " I did." "But I've got a dreadful headache." "Too much excitement." "Too much cake." "Those lovely chocolates." "Where did you find them?" "It's easy, if you don't mind breaking the law." "Oh, I..." "I think I'll take a couple of aspirin and lie down for a while." "Shall I shut up the ducks, Aunt Lettie?" "Well, if you can do it properly." "There's no guarantee, but I promise to try my hardest." "Just make sure that the latch is down firmly." " I knew there was a secret." " Don't worry, Aunt Lettie." "I'll make sure it's all right." "I seem to have mislaid the aspirin I bought in the village." "This house is chock-full of aspirin." "They fall out of every cupboard." " There's a bottle on my dressing table." " Take mine." "They're by my bed." "Thank you, Lettie." "Ducks." "All you have to do..." " Patrick." " Julia." "Imagine you were Pip and Emma." "What would you do?" " I come to England penniless." " Yes?" "Then, assuming I'm of criminal mentality, I seek out any rich relations I might have." "I know my uncle, Goedler, left a vast fortune, so I inquire about his widow, discover she's still alive and that the only obstacle between me and the money is Letitia Blacklock of Chipping Cleghorn." " Therefore..." " Murder Miss Blacklock." "Have we checked about Patrick and Julia?" "Yes." "They are precisely what they claim to be." "Patrick has rather a good war record." "Fletcher's been busy, too." "So I see." " Wee dram?" "Oh, please." "I waited hopefully for somebody to offer, but Scotland appears to be totally dry." "(CHUCKLES)" "Helps the concentration." "Bunny." 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