"ANNOUNCER:" "The following program is brought to you in living color on NBC." "(fanfare plays)" " (hoofbeats approaching)" " That sounds like Hoss." "On the wagon?" "He left on a horse." "You know my brother-- he can leave on a horse and come home on a boat." "Yeah, it's him, all right." "He's got company with him." " MAN:" "Whoa." " Lady company." "Oh, someone we know?" "There's a... a fellow with him and a..." " And a what?" " HOSS:" "Joe, Joe!" "Pa, come on, let me in!" " Yeah, yeah, yeah." " Hey, it's me!" "Hey, meet some friends of mine." "This is Daniel Pettibone and his wife Robin." "Oh, I-I-I-I don't believe I've heard Hoss mention the name Daniel Pettibone before." "I-I just met them today myself, Pa." "They found them stranded up by Jackson's Ridge." "Oh, well, Jackson's Ridge is a far place from anywhere." "Yeah, well, we, we were trying to reach Virginia City and, uh, and we got up there and there was no road or anything, so, uh..." "Oh, well, you, you must be very tired." "Uh... please, uh, come, come." "Wait a minute, Pa, before you do anything else, there's something I want to show you." "Come here, Daniel, show 'em, come on." "(liquid pouring)" "Dan here is an inventor, Pa." "Wait till you see this." "It'll just about pop your head off." "(pop)" "(engine chugging)" "Get a bucket of water quick." "Ah!" "Wait a minute, Joe, Joe, no, wait, wait!" "(engine chugging)" "(theme song playing)" "(engine chugging)" "What do you think, Pa?" "You ever see the beat of that?" "No, sir, I never did." "Yeah, well, w-what makes it go?" "My husband doesn't mean to be rude." "He has trouble talking to strangers, especially about his work." "He's been laughed at so much." "Yeah?" "He didn't have no trouble talking to me." "He liked to talk my arm off." "Well, you're the exception;" "you're very likeable and very easy to know." "I'll try to answer your question." "The thing that makes it go is an internal combustion engine." "A-And he invented that, huh?" "Not exactly." "The principle of an internal combustion engine has been known a long time." "A man named Samuel Brown sold and built a... a kind of one in England 30 years ago." "Hmm, yeah, well, li-like this?" "ROBIN:" "Nothing like this." "My husband's invented many improvements, things far advanced, even for modern times." "This fuel, for example." "It's a distillation of Scottish ale." "(Ben clears throat)" "An electric spark ignites this... uh, this fuel." "And much, much else besides." "You understand it?" "No, no." "Pa, you don't have to understand it to see it's the biggest thing that ever happened." "Looks kind of little to me." "Ah, Joe, it's a model." "From that you, you can make a big'un." "How big?" "Well, you know, about..." "big enough to sit in." "Sit in?" "Sure, dad-burnit, you got to sit in it before you can ride in it." "W-What do you mean "ride in it"?" "Dad-burnit, Joe, that's what it's all about." "(motor pops, shuts off)" "This, this thing's a self-powered wagon." "Y-You sit in it and you ride in it." "You don't even have to have horses for it." "Look, I'll explain it all to you later." "Old Daniel ain't been feeling too good, and, well, I'm, I'm gonna put him and his wife up in that spare bedroom." "Come on, Robin, you and Daniel." "A man's got to take care of his partners." "Hoss." "Sir?" "Did you say "partners"?" "Yep, that's what I said, Pa-- partners." "Good night, sir." "And thank you." "Here we go again." "Doggone it, Pa, I want to get something straight, once and for..." "(sighs)" "(Little Joe humming)" "Step right up, neighbor." "Come on." "Come on, what you see before your bulging eyeballs are a collection of mechanical miracles designed to make a poor man rich and a rich man richer." "Now, hold on just one moment, Little Joe, don't forget that you have bought, in your time, some of these mechanical miracles, too." "Oh." "But did I ever buy anything like this?" "That's a perpetual motion machine." "How about this?" "Look at this goody." "That is a magic box." "Now, you see, open it up and you put a little lead inside and a little magic powder, you cook it, and silver comes out the bottom." "Well... you didn't think this, this gold witcher was such a bad idea when I bought it." "Yeah, you can't deny that, Little Joe." "I can remember your very words." ""Finding gold with that would be as easy as falling into a well."" "All right, all right, so I made a mistake once." "But did I ever... in my entire life buy anything..." "like this?" "It was supposed to shoot around corners." "It don't work no better than the rest of that junk." "I bought it all, I know that, but what's that supposed to prove?" "Joe, Daniel and his wife up there-- they-they're honest folk, they ain't crooks." "That, tha-that power wagon is the real thing." "Hoss, Hoss, I go along with you about those folks upstairs." "I-I believe they're honest, too, but..." "Look." "Is this thing practical?" "Practical?" "Pa, anything you can ride in is practical, ain't it?" "You build a full-size one and you could go almost anyplace." "Oh, come on." "All right, you build a full-size one of those," " and I'll find myself any tired..." "Shh." "...worn-out old nag, and I'll beat you to Virginia City by a day and a half." "Maybe you could now, but, but, well, y-you take and you, you get some good roads and..." "Roads." "Can you rope a steer with that thing?" "No." "Can you hitch six of these together and, and haul freight?" "No, I reckon you..." " What good is it?" "What are you going to do with it?" "Ah, dad-gum it, I'm all mixed up." "Now, this afternoon, when I sat up there on the tailgate of old Daniel's wagon, it was as clear to me as the nose on my face." "And you can't see it now, hmm?" "Well, yeah, Pa, I can see it, but I can't explain it to you." "You, you want facts and figures and everything proved out ahead of time." "You just can't always prove things out ahead of time." "Sometimes you, you got to just have faith and, and you go ahead and do something." "Then, when you get it done, you point to it and say," ""Now, there, tha-that's what I mean."" "I can't have faith in a silly-looking thing like that." "I..." "I couldn't either." "Well, that's up to you." "I'll tell you how much faith I got in it." "I'm gonna go to Virginia City with Daniel, and I'm gonna help him get money together, and we're going to build a full-size one." "You don't have to do a doggone thing." "You don't have to put one drop of sweat in it or one thin dime." "I'll put $100 in it." "I'll put $50 in it." "Well, if... if you ain't got no faith in it..." "BEN:" "Hoss, we have faith in you." "And if you believe so much in this contraption, well, maybe there is something to it." "We'll back you all the way." "With money, muscle, or... guns." "(Ben laughs)" "(chuckling)" "(motor pops, starts)" ""Ladies and gentlemen," ""you are now witnessing the first public d... demonstration of the, the Pettibone Power Wagon."" "Uh..." ""We are prepared to offer you a share in this..."" "Nah, wait, wait, wait, wait, I..." "I kind of got ahead of myself for a minute." "Something else I was supposed to say first." "Ah!" ""Mr. Pettibone here and me" ""we're going to construct a prototype" ""here in Virginia City." ""Later, we will manufacture full-sized power wagons for sale."" "Wait, that-that thing's..." "Oh, yeah, uh, uh, uh," ""Shares in the Pettibone Power Wagon Company are, are for sale at te... ten..." "ten dollars a share."" "Well, now, that's my kind of contraption." "Knows right where it's going." "Heading for the bar!" "Boys, clear back." "You better give him room." "I think he's going to be coming out of there." "(laughter)" "I'll buy four and a half shares of that Pettibone Power Wagon." "I've been trying to get rid of him for two days." " (laughter)" " Hooray for her!" "Dad-gone it, Big Red, that's mighty sweet of you." "And you're not going to be sorry neither, you hear?" "Folks, I ain't much at making speeches, but if you all step in there to the bar, I'll stand the drinks." " (cheering)" " Set up the drinks." "Hoss, Jeff and I are buying in." "(laughs)" "Oh, no, we ain't, dad-blast it." "Well, doggone it, Jeff, you seen it come in here of its own." "Ain't no better use for that gold." "Same as throwing it away." "Well, you throw it away on booze." "Booze-- that's what I dug it for." "Why, you... (overlapping chatter)" "All right, boys, all right." "All right, let's break it up." "Break it on up." "There." "Outside you go!" "I'll stomp a mud hole in you and weed it dry." "Yeah?" "Go ahead, do it!" "Turn me loose!" "(patrons laughing)" "(thumping)" " How are you, Daniel?" " I'm fine." "Think you better stop them before somebody gets hurt?" "Hurt?" "Them two?" "Daniel, their old hides are as tough as an alligator's hide." "They do that every day just to keep limber." "Look here, you go over here and sit down and take it easy." "You just sit right here." "I'll take care of that in there." "What about it, Mr. Oglesby?" "You want to buy in?" "No, sir." "Not putting any of my money in a contraption like that." "What do you mean, contraption?" "What's wrong with it?" "It's a slick trick." "Sucker bait." "I don't trust that man." "That man over there you don't trust happens to be a very good friend of mine, Mr. Oglesby." "You can't scare me, Horse Cartwright." "We've all known you long enough to know you're honest." "How long you known him?" "Long enough to know he's as honest as I am and a heap smarter." "He can do more thinking by Monday noon than you can in a week." "If he's so smart, why can't he do his own talking?" "Well, I reckon with all them brains, that's about all he can handle." "'Sides, he's got a big, dumb partner who can do his talking for him." "Well, if this contraption can do all you claim, why'd he come to Virginia City?" "He could finance it a lot quicker in San Francisco." "I'll tell you why he came to Virginia City." "The doctors made him leave San Francisco, that's why." "He ain't well." "He's got pains here in his chest, and it hurts him worse when somebody's crowding him." "Anything else?" "Just one thing." "As a man who's been selling the good folks of Virginia City merchandise of all kinds for over 15 years," "I say any man who invests good money in this infernal machine's a fool." "MAN:" "Then, sir... you must name me a fool, for herewith I pledge $1,000 to the Pettibone Power Wagon Company." "Oh." "I'll be sawed in half with a blackberry vine." "Well, Mr. Rich." "I'm, uh, Cyrus K. Throckmorton, my dear, and, uh, that is my associate," "Mr. Peter Long." "Howdy, folks." "Never heard of you." "Which is not surprising." "I only arrived in your fair city yesterday." "I am a broker and investment counselor known in the financial centers of New York," "London and Paris, here to invest funds for Eastern capital." "And now, sir, if you would introduce me to this genius who invented this mechanical marvel." "Yes, sir." "This... this here is Daniel Pettibone." "Truly a great honor, sir." "A man of your capabilities is rare, indeed." "I'd like also to meet your business manager." "Uh..." "Well, uh, there ain't nobody but just me and Daniel here." "I sort of figured on learning the business end of it as we went along." "An understandable error, sir, but a grievous one." "The financial world is a teeming jungle to the uninitiated, strewn with many pitfalls." "Let me think." "There is a slight possibility I may be able to extend a guiding hand." "By golly!" "I would deem it a privilege-- indeed an honor-- to contribute my time and, uh, not inconsiderable experience in financial matters to this enterprise, as a service to the community." "And now, let us have a closer look at this machine that Mr. Oglesby calls an... (chuckles) ...infernal machine." "Wowee!" "Beautiful little thing, isn't it?" "(man laughing)" "Like I said, we're buying in." "(laughter)" "(laughs)" "Like he said, we're buying in." "Why, you old goat!" "(thudding)" "(glass breaking)" "(clamoring, Big Red screams)" "Stand back!" "I'm gonna kill it." "Now, let's see what we have here." "Now, that's nice." "Ah, blue and gold." "That should appeal to the natives." "I ain't never seen nothing so pretty in all my days." "She like something out of a dream." "Yes, yes, my boy, beautiful indeed." "And I have one for almost any endeavor you care to name-- forest lands, gold mine, dance hall." "I'll bet she ain't in no dance hall 'cause she wants to be." "A lady like that-- she ain't always got her choice." "Yes, I think this will do nicely." "Thing of rare beauty." "We should have no difficulty in selling several thousand of these to the good people of Virginia City." "You ain't gonna sell Big Red none of them." "To everyone an equal opportunity, my boy." "However, the first order of business is to have some of these printed up." "I should say, um, 2,000 to begin with." "(knocking)" "Who's there?" "It's me, Big Red." "Oh, uh, just a moment, my dear." "Mr. Throckmorton... you said you wanted to talk to me." "Come in, my dear." "Come right in." "Everybody's so happy you're gonna handle the business end of the Pettibone Power Wagon Company." " Really?" " Mm-hmm." "I wouldn't have missed it for the world." "Miss Red, I... (gulps)" "You run along now, Mr. Long, and take care of the printing." "Have it printed up just like that." "Run along, my boy." "Now, my dear, how would you like to enter into an association with, uh, Mr. Long and myself, say as, uh, a private secretary, perhaps?" "Gee, it's what I'd like to do more than anything else." "Yes, yes." "My dear, this is going to be the biggest thing that ever happened to Virginia City." "Now, run along, and we'll discuss salary at our earliest opportunity." "Out, out, out, you hear?" "The printer!" "(soft chuckle)" "Now, my dear, I believe it's safe for you to leave." "Thank you." "(sighs)" "(gears clacking in distance)" "Oh, I can't see anything except a lot of fire and smoke." "Hey, there's Hoss Cartwright over in the back." "See him?" "Oh, yeah, I do now." "And there's Jeff and Jigger by the fire." "You kids must know Hoss pretty well if you can recognize him like that." "What are they doing in there, Mr. Pettibone?" "Well, sonny, they're trying to make a casting." "It's the ninth time we've tried." "Well, how do you make a casting?" "Well... (clears throat) you take some iron, see?" "And you melt it, and you pour it into a mold." "Now that mold is the shape of something you want to make." "Now, when that iron cools off, it hardens." "You take away your mold, and what you've got left there is the casting." "What do they do with it?" "You make an engine, if it comes out right." "Boy, I bet you Hoss can make it come out right." "I've seen him pick up a whole horse." "(laughs)" "This is more like picking up an elephant." "But what if he can't do it?" "Well, if he can't do it, we just can't build the power wagon." "Don't you worry about it." "That Hoss is pretty stubborn." "Stubborn and capable." "Darling, look what I have." "(distant hammering)" "Mr. Throckmorton had them made up." "Isn't it darling?" "He's going to give one to everyone who buys stock in the company." "You boys like one of these?" " Sure." " We sure would." "There you are." "What is it?" "It's a crank used to crank the Pettibone Power Wagon." "You take this part of it, see, and you put it in the front part of the engine, and you crank it, you turn it." "And pretty soon, the engine starts putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt..." "Putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt... putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt..." "How do you feel, darling?" "Oh, I feel great, just great." "Come on." "Come on." "Don't overdo, not now." "Not when everything is going so wonderful." "Hey, Daniel?" "We're about ready to pour that casting." "Come on." "Okay, take 'er easy." "We sure don't want to lose this one." "(grunting)" "Set it down easy, now." "That's it." "Here, uh, Jigger, you get over here with Jeff." "(grunts)" "(exhales)" "Easy does it." "All right." " Got him?" " Yeah." "(grunts)" " Watch your step over there." " Jigger, be careful." "HOSS:" "Watch your step!" "All right now, boys, just... just a little bit now." "Just a little." "That's it." "Easy, easy." "Easy!" "All right, a little more." "All right, lower it now and give her a little more." "(hissing)" "That's about it." "Okay." "Well, it seems to have settled a little better this time, huh?" "Yeah." "At least it didn't rile up, if that means anything." "Well, we're whupped if it don't work this time." "We've tried just about everything." "Come on, let's get that other one." "You just don't know what all this means to me-- working for Mr. Throckmorton and Mr. Long." "Golly, and all these new ideas he has." "Yes, he does things pretty-pretty fast." "Oh, don't worry, Red." "You'll do fine." "Well, I don't know." "Well, you know, I never worked anywhere outside a saloon." "I mean, oh, all of a sudden being a lady." "Being a lady is a state of mind, and I think you were always a lady." "I'm so happy, I think I'm going to cry." "Oh, come on now, don't do that." "This is no time for tears." "Miss Pettibone, I'm just bustin'." "I got to tell somebody." "Tell what?" "Pete and I-- I mean, uh, Pete and me-- is... (wedding bells ringing)" "Really?" "You and Mr. Long?" "I think that's just wonderful." "Aren't you just pleased to pieces?" "Well, I'm more scared than anything." "Whatever for?" "Well, I-I don't know about getting married." "Gee, for the rest of my life and everything." "If my marriage should end tomorrow," "I'd still call it the most precious thing in all my life." "Here, it's my wedding veil." "Oh." "I've always kept it with me." "I want you to wear it at your wedding." "Here, let me help you." "And now, ladies and gentlemen," "I give you the marvelous Pettibone..." "Power..." "Wagon." "(applause and cheering)" "Ladies and gentlemen, I see doubt in some of your faces." "I even see rejection in some." "But stay-- let me breathe a breath of life into this vision." "Listen to me." "Look around you." "What do you see?" "Some will say only shacks." "I say open your eyes!" "I see tall chimneys and enormous buildings with huge furnaces that spout streams of molten metal where strong men pour and cast." "And there there at the end of the street, I see a many-windowed factory where lathes hum and drills spin." "Where careful craftsmen fashion gleaming parts out of raw steel." "And there-- massive and dramatic-- there stands the assembly plant." "An endless belt moves there, past each man where in his turn he adds a wheel, a seat, a mud guard, until finally the Pettibone Power Wagon rolls from that line-- a finished product shining and powerful!" "Some of you may ask, "What do we need with a Power Wagon?"" "And some may say, "No machine will ever take the place of man's most loyal friend, the horse."" "But I predict that this machine will travel in excess of 50 miles-  not in a day, my friends." " (motor pops)" "No, not in half a day... but in the short space of one single hour." "(motor popping and hissing)" "(laughter)" "(motor hisses, then chugs)" "You, you and you-- all of you will have the chance to share in this glorious future." "That you may certainly prosper, that you possibly may even grow rich-- that is not important." "Far more important that you can say to your children's children, "I was there." ""I stepped forward." "I said, 'I demand my right to share.""" "I thank you all." "(applause and cheering)" "(audience clamoring)" "MAN:" "I'll take 50 shares." " MAN 2:" "I'll owe ya!" " Oh!" "Good, Mr. Throckmorton, real good." "That ought to sell them anything." "Mighty nice of you to say so." "Listen, I better get down there and get me some of them stocks, before they're all gone." "Listen, anytime Horace Oglesby puts a nickel into anything, you can bet he's figuring on getting a dollar back." "(all talking at once)" "HOSS:" "Come on, before it's all gone!" "Wait a minute!" "Hey!" "Wait a minute!" "Wait a minute!" "Hey, Red, give me $200 worth." "Dang, Red, you sure do look pretty today." "I feel pretty, dressed up like this." "Working for Mr. Throckmorton." "And guess what, Hoss?" "What?" "(wedding bells ringing)" "You tell him, darling." "(stuttering):" "Well... well, we're..." "Neither one of you have to say nothing for me to figure out what you're up to." "I'll bet you dollars to donuts you're figuring on getting hitched, ain't ya?" "And I'll tell you what I'm going to do." "For a wedding present, I'm going to give you the first, genuine" "Pettibone Power Wagon." "(cheering)" "This is the birdie now, up here." "Watch up here." "Still, very quiet." "Dad-burnit, I reckon where they could be." "They're near a half hour late already." "It takes a while for the bride to get dressed, Hoss." "Hoss, why don't you sit down here?" "Let me get a picture of you and the Pettibone Power Wagon" " so I can have it." " Oh..." "Why don't you take your own?" "Yeah." "Uh, this all right for you, sir?" "That's wonderful." "You better put a bigger plate in that camera, if you expect to get Hoss." "PHOTOGRAPHER:" "Look at the birdie." "Well... he ain't here either, is he?" "Who, Pete?" "I thought he was with you." "Well, he ain't-- he's gone." "Gone?" "What do you mean, gone?" "I mean gone, that's what I mean." "He was supposed to come get me, but I got tired waiting, so I went up to his room, and you know what I found?" "My Pete and that Throckmorton had packed up and pulled out, and they took all that money with them." "Come on, Red." "(knocking on door)" "Well, Howdy, Mrs. Pettibone." "Sorry to bother, but I need to talk to Daniel." "Is he pert enough to talk?" "Of course." "Come in, Hoss." " Hi, Daniel." " Hi, Hoss." "Robin here is the original model of the fussbudget." "Any news of Mr. Throckmorton?" "Daniel, ain't no use in us fooling ourselves." "That old scoundrel, and Pete, too, they... they took that money." "They had no intentions of bringing it back." "Is the sheriff trying to find 'em?" "Oh, yeah, yeah." "The sheriff and everybody else in town." "They got a posse." "It's been all over the country." "(sighs) Daniel, you, uh... you ever been in jail?" "No, I never been in jail." "Well, it ain't really so bad when you got good grub." "Sheriff Coffee's got the best grub in town." "Am I going to jail?" "But why?" "!" "Horace Oglesby's got half the town stirred up over that..." "that money that's gone." "Roy Coffee thought it might be a good idea if Daniel came down and sat a spell in the jailhouse-- just as a guest, you understand, not as a prisoner." "You can lock the door from the inside and keep the key yourself." "(clears throat)" "I'm ready." "Let's, uh... let's go." "I'll be back." "Look at that." "Eight times-- eight times that casting came out busted." "And wouldn't you know it?" "This time, it's as solid as a dollar." "That means we could have finished building this whole rig." "Daniel said there weren't nothing tougher than making that there casting." "Yeah, you ought to go out and try to raise some more money." "That would be tougher." "Yeah, I guess you're right." "Daniel in jail and no money..." "Hoss, you figure you can finish building this here contraption?" "Uh, no, Jigger." "I didn't even know what we was doing when Daniel was here telling us how." "Maybe we ought to get drunk." "JEFF:" "Drunk?" "Drunk, I'd get up a lynch party and hang Horace Oglesby higher than a... hawk's nest." "Oglesby got no call to work up everybody aging' Dan." "Dan never took his money." "Yeah." "Hit old Oglesby in the pocketbook," " and it sure enough hurts him." " Yeah..." "Hey!" "Big Red!" "I'm your friend, Big Red." "You ain't got no call to point that gun at me." "I ain't pointing it at you." "I just want you to come with me." " Where to?" " To Burton Falls." "And when we get there, I'm going to shoot a hole right through Mr. Pete Long." "Pete!" "Is..." "is that where Pete's at?" "Right near there." "I got this letter from him." "Him and Throckmorton are hiding out close to Burton Falls, just waiting for the law to quit looking for them." "He wants me to sneak out of town and meet him up there." "Me!" "He thinks I'm a crook, too." "Why, that dirty skunk." "I may be a floozy, but I'm an honest floozy." "You're doggone right you are." "They're staying at the old Perkins place." "Dad-burnit, no wonder we missed them." "Who'd have figured they'd have gone to ground so close by?" "We kept riding right on by them." "Old Throckmorton's smart as a fox." "Yeah, but his partner ain't." "Old Pete couldn't think a lick to begin with, and then after he fell in love with Big Red here, he just went plumb simple!" "No offense, Big Red." "It don't make no difference!" "I'm going to shoot a hole right through him anyway." "Now, now, Big Red, I-I don't know nothing about that, but... if you can ride a horse, you're welcome to come along with me, but this gun's got to stay." "Let's go." "Come on." "I don't blame ya for covering up the dad-blamed casting, Jigger." "It ain't no good to us now." "I ain't covering that." "I'm uncovering this." "Hey, I put that in there for an emergency." "When that big redhead come in here with that there shotgun, that makes this an emergency." "(chuckles)" "(indistinct voices nearby)" "Ha-ha." "Know what this is?" "Tar." "These are feathers." "Tar and feathers for you, you thieving swindler!" "We'll paint you if we have to wait a year." "Here's something else for you-- something the stockholders wanted us to give back to you." "(men clamoring)" "(men murmuring)" "It's too soon." "It's too soon." "They're not ready." "(groggily):" "They're not ready." "(sighs)" "There are other ladies equally fair." "Why eat your heart away for one?" "There ain't but one like Big Red." "I sure wish she'd show up." "Any reason to suppose she might show up?" "No, no." "None that I can think of." "It's just she might get lucky or something and... run into us." "Ah!" "Marvelous." "Good beans, enough bread to last us for several weeks, a modest share of $25,000." "Your cup should be full to overflowing, my boy." "I'd rather have Big Red." "(approaching hoofbeats)" "Do you hear horses?" "No." "Just wedding bells." "All right, boys, just hold it right where you are." "Well, Hoss, Red, what an unexpected pleasure." "You're just in time for an evening repast." "Aw, honey, I was afraid you didn't get my letter." "Letter?" "What letter?" "Why, you ungrateful snake in the grass!" "Don't look to me for no sympathy, you dirty black skunk!" "If you two ain't just about the worst reprobates" "I ever seen." "Living out here in this comfortable cabin and... cooking beans and..." "(liquid bubbling) ...underwear while poor little Dan Pettibone sets in that jailhouse." "Dan's in jail?" "What'd he steal?" "Nothing." "He got blamed for what you stole." "You still got that money, ain't you?" "That money is a sacred trust." "We're guarding it with our lives." "Why, every penny of it is right there under the bed... in that valise." "BIG RED:" "Oh!" "Charge!" "To the barricades!" "Attack!" "Hit him with something!" "(gunshot)" "(coughing)" "Oh!" "Give me that." "Give me that gun!" "(sizzling)" "(screams)" "(blows landing)" "(groans)" "(thudding)" "(blows landing)" "(groans)" "(thud)" "(loud popping)" "(lids clanking)" "Hey, them stove lids could hurt a fella." "Yeah." "Yeah, looks like it's about over." "Ooh!" "Oh!" "(glass breaks)" "Where is that gun?" "Oh." "(panting)" " (gun hammer cocks) - (Pete groans)" "My Pete!" "(Pete groans)" "Sweetie pie!" "Sweetie pie!" "(sobbing):" "You killed him!" "(Pete groans)" "Big Red, Pete's all right." "He went through that wall headfirst!" "Red!" "Big Red?" "Hey... how come you didn't shoot me?" "Ain't that..." "ain't that gun loaded?" "Won't it shoot?" "It'll shoot." "It's a weakness I had since I was a boy" "I never could shoot a friend." "What I can't figure out is... why you wanted to take that money in the first place." "If you wanted to get rich, you could have, you could have stayed with the Pettibone Power Wagon Company and got ten times richer, just like you said." "Why did you have to steal?" "Because I'm dishonest." "All right, you two stand right there by the bar." "Stay put!" "Here it is, boys, every penny of it." "And there's Mr. Throckmorton to tell you how sorry him and Pete are for trying to run off with it." "Yeah, well, I..." "What's the matter with everybody?" "I brung your money back to you." "I reckon it's my place to tell you, Hoss." "I fixed up a mess of tar and feathers, threatened Dan Pettibone with them." "Doc says his heart failed him." "He passed away." "He died?" "His missus said it could have happened anytime, Hoss." "Yeah, I..." "I reckon I knew that." "But I'll guarantee you one thing..." "Dan Pettibone didn't die of fright." "He wasn't scared of nobody." "That don't make the news no better, though, does it?" "He was a good little feller." "(crying)" "At least we got all the money back." "I'd take it kindly if you'd give the widow Pettibone the money I invested." "That's-That's a lot of money, Mr. Oglesby." "Not enough." "Not nearly enough." "(sobbing continues)" "Well, come on, Jeff." "Let's get back to the mine." "Jigger, ain't... ain't you fellers gonna take yours?" "JEFF:" "Ah, we don't want it, don't need it." "Come on." "Yeah... we'd spend it on booze, anyway." "And I tried to steal from them." "You know, my boy," "I'm an unmitigated scoundrel." "I shall ask the judge for 20 years." "You know, Hoss," "Pete here never wanted to steal that money." "All he ever wanted to do was to marry Big Red there." "It's all he still wants to do." "Marriage?" "Did anybody say "marriage"?" "I did... hunsy-bunsy." "Sweetie pie!" "(Red crying)" "(wedding bells ringing)" "You know, I wonder if the sheriff could put Pete's bill on my tab." "Mr. Throckmorton, I'll do everything in my power to see that you get your wish." "Ain't much of that..." "that, uh, Scottish ale-- ain't-ain't much of it left." "A couple of drops." "BEN:" "Mmm." "Yeah, can't get over how pretty ol' Big Red looked in her brand-new wedding dress." "BEN:" "Yeah." "Ol' Pete was as spruce as a brand-new tattoo." "You know, I can't get over those people letting Throckmorton and Pete go Scot-free, after them stealing their money." "Well, Pa, they didn't really steal it." "They-they were in charge of the money, and they... everybody figures they just took a ride with it and then brung it back." "BEN:" "Yeah." "Well, didn't-didn't Dan have any plans for this thing?" "Yeah." "His missus took them back East with her." "Said that folks just wasn't ready for it yet." "She's gonna save them for their boy." "I didn't know they had a boy." "Well, they ain't now, but come the middle of June... (pop)" "(engine chugging)" "(engine sputters to a stop)" "(pop)" "(clicks tongue)" "Dad-burnit." "I still say it would have worked." "ANNOUNCER:" "This has been a color presentation of the NBC Television Network."