"[Alarm Beeping]" " [ Woman ]Janet?" "Janet?" " Yes?" "." "[ Woman, Indistinct ]" " Okay." "Can I just put this in the room?" "." " Yeah." "[ Nurse ] Okay, now." " Okay." " [ All ] One, two, three." " [ Indistinct ]" " Huh?" "." "[Janet] You're gonna have to go down beyond me." " Can you go this way?" " You want the bottom?" "." " I think " "Yeah, that's okay." "We'll do the bottom." " Okay." " [ Pulley Screeching ]" " Got enough room up there?" "." " Yeah." " Got enough room?" "." " Uh-huh." "[Janet ] God bless ya." "Good guy." "Okay." "Light out." "[ TV Program Theme, Upbeat ]" "[ TV:" "Woman Narrator] Labour-intensive projects seem to be the theme at the Grey house... as Garth continues working on the bedroom furniture." " [ TV Continues ] - [ Snoring Softly ]" "[ Man ] We just matched the profile and drew it free-handed on one side." " And traced it out, turned it over." " [ Woman ] You're good." "You're good." "[ Cassette Rewinding ]" "[ Stops, Runs ]" "Hi." "This is evening report for Team 1 for November the 19th." "I n 602, Bed 2, is Joyce Bone with ""C" of the bladder with mets to hip and C.O.P.D." "Joyce didn't have a very good evening tonight - continuation from days, I guess." "Quite a bit of discomfort, but she was really reluctant to take anything for that at first." "Her infuser is on time." "The site is in her abdomen." "She has a breakthrough site in her right thigh." "At 1700, she does get a routine Haldol which I opted to give subcutaneously." "She was feeling a bit nauseated." "She didn't have any emesis tonight." "She ate a poor supper." "She was up in the lounge for a bit." "At 2020, I gave her Dilaudid, 10 milligrams subcu for complaints of right hip pain... and she actually chose to go to bed at that time, which is quite different " "[ Footsteps Scrapi ng ]" "[ Chattering ]" "[ Cheerfully ] % Okay, Carmela %" "[ Nurse ] Finished?" "This one has a lot." "Let's do this." " Evening,Joyce." " I 'm gonna go to bed." "Are you?" "." "Do you want to go to the bathroom with me first, or " "No." "I want to, uh - I want a breakthrough." " You do?" "." " Yeah." "I'm so happy." "Um,Joyce, can I find ifyou have anotherbutterfly?" "I knowyou've got one onyour tummy." "Okay, Carmela,just move a little bit." "Okay, you're coming back to me now, Carmela." "[ Nurse ] So I'll giveyou a breakthrough." "And doyou wantyour bedtime pills now?" " Okay, come, come, come." " Or doyou want to wait foryour sleeping pills?" " [ J oyce ] Oh, yes." " Okay, can I have this hand?" "This has been here for a while, the Band-Aid?" "." " Yeah." " We can probably take that off." "Are they still staying away from the right side?" "." " Yes." " Are you still getting tingling or numbness?" "." " It's numb there." " Okay." "[Nurse ] Carmela?" "You know,your catheterhere, the tube?" "I have to irrigate it." "Okay?" "." "Canyou feel that?" "Carmela." "That doesn't feel bad?" "." "You can't feel that - what I'm doing?" "Does it hurt?" "No?" "[ Nurse On Tape ] 602- 1, Carmela Nardone " """C" of the ovary and non-insulin-dependent diabetes." "She has continuous oxygen at three liters." "She denies pain, and her Foley was a hundred this morning." "And she's been turned andpositioned approximately three times." "And she was smiling, and support was given." "[ Labored Breathi ng ]" "%% [ Singing Softly, Indistinct ]" " Ring Jodi and Phyllis?" "." " Sure." "For rounds, please." "Doctor is here." "Showtime." " Good morning." " Good morning." " How areyou?" "." " Not too bad." "How are you?" "." "Good." "Good, good." "Uh, how was - how was your night?" "." "Not too bad." "Not too bad." "Good." "Lot of pain in the evening." "I took a breakthrough." "That helped?" "." " Somewhat,yes." " Yeah?" "." "Would you take something a little stronger?" "." "'Cause it's there foryou ifyou " " Yes, a little, I guess." " need it." "I just don't want to go to sleep." "Yeah, well, ifyou're having a lot of pain, then it's " " I was last night, but " " Yeah." "Yeah." "What, um" "What about that pain shooting down your leg?" "." " Is that anydifferent?" " [ Coughs ] No." "Not at all?" "'Cause we've increased the medication for that." " Well, it seems to come and go." " Mm-hmm." "There was some discussion about a catheter foryou." "Somebody mentioned it last night." "Yeah." "What do you think of that?" "." "Well, of course, nobody wants them." "No." "Uh... but are you finding being incontinent a big problem too?" "." " Well, I can't get " " To the bathroom in time?" "." " I can't get the clothes offand on." " Yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah." "So, it would be - might beworth giving it some serious consideration, you know." "Might feel more comfortable and wouldn't have to worry about " " Yeah." " that part ofit then." "Might be more comfortable at night too." "Hi." "Come stai?" "[ Speaking Italian ]" "[ Continues In Italian ]" "[ Italian ]" "Nothing?" "." " Nothing." " No?" "." "[Woman] Has your own priest come?" "[Daughter] They told me that she receivedherlast rites." "That's what I was told." "She said" " I asked her, like, if the priest had come, and she said yes." "So I really don't know." "I asked" " You know, I asked for one when I was talking to the doctor." "And he says that's no problem." "And then I asked her ifthe priest had come, and she said yes, so presumably " "Maybe she'd like to see one now?" "." "Has she had the Sacrament, doyou think?" "." "Oh, she had Communion." "Tuesday, she didn't have it." "She didn't have Communion this Tuesday when Sister Leoniewas here?" "." "No, because she had just come out ofthe shower, and she was really exhausted." "Yes, yes." "Of course." "She didn't have it this Tuesday, but last week, I believe, she had it." "Let me ask her if she might like to see a priest." " Because I would get him from Our Lady." " Yeah." "Carmela." "Hi, sweetie." "Would you like me to get a priest to come visit you?" "." " [DaughterSpeaking Italian ]" " Your priest?" "." "[ Heavy Accent ] Yeah, okay." "[ Murmuring ] Is okay." "You think she'd rather not?" "." "Is that what she's saying?" "." " No, she says she doesn't mind." " It's okay." " So it would be okay to call him?" "." " Mm-hmm." "But would he be Italian-speaking?" "Um, I could ask for that." "Yes." "Yes." "I will get a priest that speaks Italian foryou." "Okay?" "." "You know that I praywith you." "Okay." "And, Carmela, you know that God is with you." " Yes." " [ Whimpers ]" "Okay, I will call the Italian priest, and he'll come and talk toyou." "God bless you." "[Phyllis ] How areyou doing?" "[ Sighs Softly] I'm trying to cope." "What areyou gonna do?" "." "Like, you know, sad." " It's not very easy, I know." " No, it isn't easy." " You know, just waiting " " Mm-hmm." "for the inevitable to come, like, you know?" "." "I'd rather it would have been a surprise." "You know what I'm saying?" "." " Yes." "We don't have a choice though." " We don't have" " No, there is no choice." " We never have that choice." " As long as she's not in pain." " No, I think she's quite comfortable." " Yeah." "And when she does leave us, she will leave in peace." "[ Daughter] Oh, she will leave in peace, because she's a good woman." "Absolutely." " She never harmed anyone." "Just a quiet woman, always tending to the family." "She never complains." "Even ifshe's in pain, she will not complain." "[ Phyllis ] No." "Hi." "This is eveni ng report for November the 2 0th." "In 602, Bed 1, we have Carmela Nardone... with ""C" of the ovary, non-insulin-dependent diabetes." "Carmela seemed to have a better evening tonight." "She had numerous family members in tonight." "She ate fairlythis evening, and Ijust gave her a routine H.S. sedation." "602, Bed 2, is Joyce Bone with ""C" ofthe bladder with mets to hip and C. O.P.D." "Joyce is actually having a better evening tonight." "She's in much better spirit." "She's joking around quite a bit this evening." " With regards to herpain " " Here you go, love." "The pad wasn't even wet." "So it must have not fit and ran down the sides." " Was it urine?" "." " Yeah." " It's the only thing I can think." " And you didn't feel anything?" "." " No, not until I got up." " No?" "As soon as I stood up, I did." " Oh." "Well, don't let it shake you, okay?" "." "'Cause it's not " "It's not gonna change anything." "No, I know it's not gonna change anything." "But you should've called me, and I could've helped you." "'Causeyou use up a lot ofenergy by changing." "Well, I managed and got separate underdrawers and whatever on." "Yeah." "I knowyou like to be independent." "Well, it isn't only that." "It's embarrassing as well." " Really?" " Sure." "I don't even look at it that way." "[Joyce ] Yeah." " Is there anything else I can do for you?" " No." "I'm fine." "So, I 'll see you in a little while." "J ust holler ifyou need me." " I won't be anywhere." "I'll be here." "Okay." "Take it easy." "You're okay, Carmela?" "Bon appetit." "[ Phyllis ] You can be close to God and, uh - -[Joyce ]And not be in church." "Not necessarily all the time." "You can be close without - without " "And didyou feel close to God?" "No." "I must be honest and say no." "Fair enough." "And did some ofthe things that have happened inyourlife " "Is that a result ofthat?" "I know that you lostyour husband and lostyour child." "I lost two kids, my family, my husband." " Two kids?" " Yes." "My daughter too." " My daughter and my son." " How old were they?" "My daughter was a year old, and my son was 2 1." "Wow." "That's a lot of loss." "My mother, my brother, my father - all in one year." "[ Murmurs ]" "So I felt, at the time... that there wasn't anything I had to thank God for." "I can imagine." "I can imagine." "My daughterfirst." "She started- started the string." "That must have been overwhelming foryou and your husband." " It was." " Butyou did get through it." "You're a strong person." "Well, fairly." "I thinkyou're a strong person." "And thenyou lost your son." " Yes." "He was killed with a drunk driver." " [ Sighs ]" "I'm just " "I'm almost speechless." " Well, I was at the time." " Yes." "Just " "Foryou and your husband." "You probably supported each other, I would think." " He was still living then?" "." " At the time, yes." " Well,you didn't totallygive up." " No." "'Cause you certainly survived and made a new life foryourself in some ways." "Well, I just went like before, day by day." "Yes." "And now to find thatyou have canceryourself." "I can't" " I 'm not handling it very well, I don't think." "Canyou... enlarge on that a little bit?" "Well, I'm" " I'm letting it get to me, where I shouldn't." "You want to be strong right to the end." "Yes." "I do." "I could go and sit in a corner and cross my legs... and stay there till the end." "Is that becauseyou feel weak?" "." "No." "I just feel... finished." "[Phyllis ] It's really, reallynice to meetyou." "[ Woman ] Thankyou." "You too." "I'm Phyllis." "Yourname was " " I'm Cathy." " Cathy." " And you're a friend of " " I'm a neighbor." " A neighbor." " Yeah." "I'm a neighbor for the last 35 years." " We grew up there." " Oh, wow." " So you're pretty close to Carmela." " We're very close." " Almost like a grandmother." " We went through all the deaths together." "My father died, and my father and her husband were best friends." "Her husband passed away." "My son was very attached to her husband and her... 'cause they took the grandparent figure when my father passed away." " Isn't that lovely?" "." " Yeah, it's beautiful." "We're more like family." "And it probablywill draw all ofyou, as family, closer together." " One more time." " One more time." "We take care of each other." "When my father died, Carmela and her husband would visit my mother-in-law..." " give herwords of courage." " Yes." "And my fatherwas a lotyounger than them." "And it was nice to see my mother " "Actually, she took to them well because they really understood." "They're all from the old country." "They all settled here... andall had to work reallyhard as immigrants." "We can't understand because, you know, we have everything." " But they suffered, and I'm sure they did." " Oh, I know." "Maria was telling me that Carmela worked, worked hard." "[ Cathy] She did." "She worked very hard." "I remember." " Ever since she came from Italy." " That's right." "And it's always to provide for the family." "[ Phyllis ] Right." "Years ofpicking tomatoes and all kinds ofthings, she said " " Oh, God, they did everything." " to make enough money to get by." "Right." "She was a good person." "[ Nurse On Tape ] Uh, 602- 1, Carmela Nardone." "We have noticed quite a change with her." "Christina established a butterfly in her right deltoid... and she had the alternate route at 1:05.." "We also noted that she has weeping edema." " We did not notice any diaphoresis." " [ Nurse ] That's new." "But the weeping edema was in her legs." " She's verballyresponsive." " I didn't notice that last night." " Soyou might want to call the family." "[ Tape Player Clicks Off]" " When we were doing our care?" "." " [ Nurse ] No." "What I did notice... when you lift her leg, her leg felt a little more... pliable, like squishy." " More edema." " Yeah, more " "There was more edema." "My nails actually " " My fingertips went." " Okay, so at night, she started weeping." "[ Tape Player Resumes ] 602, Bed 2, is Joyce Bone." " [Nurse ] Okay." "Now,Joyce Bone." " Yeah." """C"ofthe bladder, bone mets hip." "We've moved herinto 604, Bed 2." "She's okay." "She continues to be reluctant to take those breakthroughs." " Because ofher drowsiness?" " Right." "So we started her on Ritalin." "When did we start her on Ritalin?" "Was it over the weekend?" " Yeah, looks like it." " We started her on 2.5.." " Well,just two days ago." " Twice" " Twice " " Was that 2.5.?" " Three days ago." "And then yesterday, we increased it to " "This needs to come over." "Okay?" "." "Yeah." "Here we go." "J oyce, you have the window." "[ Doctor] Now, how are the mornings?" "[Joyce ] In the morning, I'm somebody else or something else." " I can't seem to get it together." " Yeah." "Areyou waking up during the night?" " No." " Not at all?" "Not usually." "Not till around 6:00." "Yeah." "You're taking a pill at night." "Maybe ifwe put - make that a half?" " No." " No?" "." "Okay." " Okay." "It's up to you." " I want to sleep." "Yeah, sure." "It may, um " "I think when you came in first, we - they offered you a half." " Yes." " And then you graduated on to a whole pill." "I don't" " It's one of the better ones, so I doubt ifit's, um - if it's leaving much ofa hangover." "I think it's much more to do with the illness, you know... that, uh... you feel a little bit more - less alert in the morning." "Has that always been the case foryou?" "." "No." "It's just been this last - this last two or three days... that I've felt stupid." "No, I wouldn't use that, uh " "I wouldn't use that word foryou ever,Joyce." " Well, that's what I felt like." " You feel,yeah." "Yeah." "I felt like, uh " "like I didn't know what I was doing... that I was... stupid." " It's the onlyword I can think of." " [ Chuckles ] That's okay." "But thenyou feel okayaftera while?" "Yes, later on in the day after the girls get working with me." "I don't hear them right, and I don't see them right." "I don't understand what they're saying." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "I just feel dense." "Hi." "Maria?" "." "Hi." "My name is Allison." "I'm one ofthe nurses here at the Toronto Grace." "I'm looking afteryour mum this evening, and I just thought" "You were in yesterday during the day?" "." "You were in last night." "Afteryou left, and sort ofthroughout the day today... we've noticed a little bit of change in her breathing." "She's not in any distress or anything, but she's starting to get a little bit congested." "Yeah, andshe's not really taking that much in." "But wejust wantedyou to be aware that there's been a slight - a slight change." "It doesn't mean that anything's imminent or something's happening right now... butjust so thatyou're aware." "[ Woman ] How areyou doing?" "These are" " These are not our " "This isn't ours." "Get rid of this." "This belongs next door." "All this... paraphernalia." "And, uh " "What doyou want to do?" "." "Can I helpyou with anything?" "." "You want to get up, or doyou want to lay down for a while?" "." "Why don'tyou lay down for a while and rest, eh?" "." "And then maybeyou could get up after." "Get rid ofthis." "I spilt the coffee." "Well, they're gonna have to change it beforeyou get up." "I think this young ladywants to get up." "You do, eh?" "." "Okay." " I just came with some " " That's goin' out or comin' in?" "." "This is coming in." "All right,Joycey." "Okay,Joycey." "[Nurse] Good evening." "This is the night report forSunday, November the 24,th." "602, Bed 1" " Carmela Nardone..." """C" ofthe ovary with diabetes, type 2." "Her Foley drained 5.0 c.c. 's." "Treatment ofthe C.B.I. was 4,00 and run-through is 5.00." "Her condition remains poor, and she is very diaphoretic... a lot less responsive, and her condition is deteriorating." "[ Labored Breathi ng ]" "[Allison ] Haldol works on nausea." "Ifyour brain is tellingyou thatyou're gonna feel sick... it'll help sort of, hopefully, stop that." "Do you want a tablet?" "." "'Cause the doctor said not to eat - not to try and eat." " Small portions." "Just little bits?" "J ust little tiny bits, 'cause it's too much of a shock, I think, on your system." "Eat a little bit and let your stomach rest." "Eat a little bit more, but don't " "That's what she told me." "Just eat little bits." "Yeah." "Joyce, doyou want it in the needle form, or doyou want it in the pill form?" "I don't care." " It works fasterin the needle form." " Yeah, okay." "[ Chattering I n Background ]" "Okay, madam." "Ready?" "." "Ooh." "You okay?" "." "Done." "On your way." " Okay." " Now you're set." "I hope." "I hope so too." "No, just for her tummy." "Her stomach's been bothering her today." "Are you going back in bed now,Joyce, or not?" "." " I don't wanna go back to bed." " Okay." "Wait up for supper?" "." "[ Whispering ] Okay, Carmela." "All the girls have gone home now, Carmela." "Okay?" "." "They're just waiting in the lounge to go home." "Just relax, okay?" "." "Okay." "[ Gasping Breaths ]" "[ Man On TV] I'm gonna glue this foam on." "Then we're gonna trim the foam to size to match the frame." "And then we wrap the batten, and then we pull through with the fabric." "So let's tryandget this done." "[ Man #2 ] Then we can go home." "%%[ Program Theme ]" " [ Liquid Bubbling ] - [ Murmuring Softly]" "Okay." "All right." "Okay." "[ Gasping Breaths ]" "[ Footsteps Approaching]" "We should get the family too." "[ Nurse ] Joan?" " Okay." " [ Motor Whirring]" "Do you want to get the family?" "." "Hmm?" "." " Theywent home." " Oh, did they?" "." " Yeah, theywent home at 4,:00." " Okay." "I'll just do that." "[ Bubbling Stops ]" "Okay, Carmela." " Take the catheter out too." " Yeah, I'll do that." " I don't have much here." " Okay." " Are they coming back in or " " I'll call them." "Okay." " You lookvery peaceful." " Mm-hmm." "She sure does." "I'll come back and take that catheter out." "Hi." "Maria?" "It's Christina calling." "Ijust wantedyou andyour children to know that Carmela... she passed away just about - within the last 20 minutes." "Very peacefully and quietly, just the wayyou left her." "There'sjust a couple papers to be signed... and also herpersonal belongings." "Wouldyou be able to come in later on " "This is Christina and the night report for the 25.th ofNovember." "Carmela Nardone - ""C" ofthe ovary, abdominal mets, type 2 diabetes." "Her family was in and decided to go home at 4,:00 this morning." "And she passed awaypeacefully at 5.:5.0 this morning... and she was pronounced at that time." "And postmortem care has been " "Carmela Nardone came in October 30 and died November 26." " Al I of these are quite short." " [ Woman ] All ofthem." "Yeah." " She was lovely." " That was very fast at the end." " At the end, yes." " Yes." "What about her daughter?" "." "Did she come?" "." "[ Phyllis ] Maria?" "Yeah, she came at least - pretty nearly every other day... and then she was here a lot at the end and was here that evening." "Didn't Carmela make the choice, or decide with her family... that she didn't want them at her bedside?" "." "[ Phyllis ] She did, right." "They went home around 2:00 in the morning or 3:00." "Yeah, 'cause she didn't want them there when it actually happened." " [Nurse] 602, Bed2" "Joyce Bone." " [ Chattering ]" "She was aware ofCarmela's deterioration in condition... but she has notyet been notified that she's passed away." "Ifyou could do that on days." "She slept peacefully most ofthe night." " [ Phyl I is ] There." "How's that?" "." " That's good." "[Joyce ] I don't believe that there's an afterlife." "So, after here?" "." " Yeah." " What doyou think?" "Ifthere's no afterlife, this is just... kind ofthe end ofeverything?" "Yes, I think so." "The end is the end is the end." "Butyou'd like to believe otherwise." "I'd like to believe, but I don't." "What is ityou would like to believe?" "That there's something besides just - just this " "This life that's been so full ofpain " " That there's something else." " and suffering and loss foryou?" "You lostyourmother andyour dad andyourbrother." "And thenyour dad's death wasn't " "He" " He" " He did that himself." "He committed suicide." " Is that whatyou told me?" " Yes." "He shot himself." "So what a shock... that was toyou." "I'm not surprised thatyou feel anger." "% O come allye faithful %" "% Joyful and triumphant %" "% O come ye, O come ye %" "% To Bethlehem %" "% Come and behold Him %" "% Born the King ofAngels %" "% O come let us adore Him %" "% O come let us adore Him %" "% O come let us adore Him %" "% Christ the Lord%" "% Sing, choirs ofangels - %%" "[ Nurse ] Eda - the C. V. C. was done today." "Um, her left leg is bothersome." "She had some Tylenol plain at bedtime." "And, on nights, she had no voiced complaints... but she has reiterated that she doesn't want any calls orvisits or flowers from anybody." " [ Laughing ]" " I hearwhatyou're saying." "Like, I hearwhatyou're - howyou feel about it, for sure." "When my brother-in-law received this, he says how did she ever get my address?" "." "And I said, ""Well, I'm gonna have to ask here... but I know that no information is given out."" "[ Laughing ]" "Doyou wanna talk about it some more?" "." "'Cause I have questions." "Orwe can leave it ifyou want." "No." "You have questions, you go ahead and you can ask me." "Well, Ijust" "I mean, what does it " "What does it mean toyou when she writes that?" "That she's invading my privacy." "Because I would've given her my address, see?" "." "If someone wouldn't have given me their address..." "I wouldn't go calling the pension board and asking foryour address." "'Cause I would understand that she didn't have a return address where I could write to her." "She wanted to send me flowers." "Well, I don't receive any calls... or any, um, visitors or flowers." "You see?" "." "I just don't want that." "But she went ahead and " "Whyis it okayforyourbrother-in-law to care aboutyou... but it's not okay foryour friends?" "." " It's a big question." " Because" " Well, yeah, it's a big question." "I've known my brother-in-law for, uh..." " 48, 49 years." " Yeah?" "." "He was taking my twin sister out for twoyears." "Then he got married, and he's been married to her for 47 years." "He's like a brother, you know?" "." " Family's different?" "." " His family?" "." "Is" " Is family different than friends?" "." "In this case, yeah." "But not all family is - are friends, you know." "Yeah." "Oh, he is definitely." "I can trust him, and I always trusted him." " This is only an associate that I worked with." " Yeah." "It's not a person who has become a friend... but I know she wants to become a friend." " She's interested inyou?" " Oh, yeah, but I have to " " She care aboutyou?" " Oh, I think she does, if she were like that." " But she's not" " But I don't want to associate with her." "Otherwise, she would've been my friend long before now." "You know?" "." " I hurt a bit." " What did you say?" "." "You hurt a bit?" "." "You want some more - You want a little breakthrough?" "." " Oh, no, no." "I'll be sleeping." " Tiny." "Tiny breakthrough." "Just a little bit." " I'll sleep." "I don't wantyou to be in pain though." "Ifwejust giveyou a little amount?" "." "Not enough " "Enough to take a little bit ofyour pain away, but not enough to makeyou too drowsy?" "." "You'll be more comfortable then,Joyce, soyou can sit up and maybe have a smoke." " I'm for that." " Okay." "Right." " Did I sellyou on that?" " Yes." "Excellent." "Excellent." "I'm gonna go getyou some pain medicine." "I shall return." "[ Nurse ] Okay." "So, ifyou need anything, just let us know." "Yeah, I wi I I." "Well, my brother-in-law's coming." "He says, ""Make a list ofwhat you want me to bring. "" " Oh, is he coming?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "He just comes for the one day though, you know?" "." "'Cause he's coming all the way from Windsor." "He takes the train in." "Okay." "I don't want him to be hanging around here,you know." "It's too hard on him." "You know how men are sometimes." "You know, they can't cope as well." "He can cope, but he's been through so much with my family." " Yeah." " [ Coughs ]" " He just lost my sister in January." " Yeah, your sister." "So,you know, he's still getting overthat." "And then now me." "But, you know, I don't want him to be coming down, you know?" "." " Ifhe enjoys it." " Oh, it's too hard on him." "It's too hard on him." "Taking the needle out." "We're gonna take that one out, and I wanted to go here." "But we can't go here 'cause your medicine won't absorb there." "Where areyou going on Saturday?" "Rumorhas ityou're leaving." " Pardon?" "." " Areyou going somewhere on Saturday?" " Yes." " What areyou doing?" " I 'm going to a Christmas banquet." " Is that atyourbuilding thatyou're in?" " Yes." " That is nice." "Soyou'll be out overnight." "I'm not going till Saturday, and I'll be back Monday morning." " Okay, all right." " So it's a weekend." "We always miss you when you're gone." " My friend, you're finished here." " Yes." "So what we'll do, we stand you up, we'll pull your pants up... and then I'll pin this toyou up here." " Okay." " How's that sound?" "." "Doyou want me to do the hug stand?" "." "Come here." "Hug." "Thereyou go." "You hold on to me, okay?" "." "' Cause I'm gonna hold on toyour pants." "Give me a hug." "That's it." "%% [ Humming ]" "[ Chuckling ] You smell really good,Joyce." "[ Eda ] The rightwheel." "Go ahead." "Good." "Good." "Good." "Fine." "Come over here." "That's good." "That's it." "That's it." "Now go " "Right." "Way to go." "Thereyou go." "[ Nurse ] Oryou can doyourleft" " Yeah." "Just let go ofthe right wheel,Joyce, andjust turn the left wheel." "Way to go." " Way to go,Joyce." " Way to go." "J ust like driving a car." "Good for you." "Good." "See how easy it is?" "." "I do it not too well, but I do it." "[ Eda ] Sure you are." "Takes practice." "Well, it's interesting to be here... back in beautiful downtown Toronto." "Go to Mellon's this afternoon..." " have a cocktail, say hello to my friends." " [ Laughing ]" " That's good." "You'll need one bythen." " [ Laughs ]" " You sureyou don't want something?" " No, dear." " Seriously." " [ Chuckling ]" "I was gonna, uh, mention something, and I can't remember everything." "Maybe I should've been writing things down." " Elaine at work said to saya big hello." " Oh, well, you say hello to them." "And it was herhusband that did the fireplace." "Now, the mirror on the side of the fireplace " "Where did you put that mirror?" "." "'Cause it shouldn't be there." "Well, you want the mirror in the foyer." " Yea." "In the foyer." " Yeah." "Yeah." " When you come in oryou leave, you look at it." " Yes." "Yes." " So what'd you do with that painting?" "." " It's gone." " Or is it a photo, uh, a picture?" "." " It's a real painting." " It's a painting." " It's a painting." " Oh, it's gone?" "." "Okay." " Yeah." "So you've got a mirror there over the" " Okay." "That all looks good." " And my new little table." " Yeah." "And I got a stand-up lamp underneath the big mirror in the dinette." "[ Nurse ] 604, Bed 1" " Eda Simac with C.A. ofthe breast and livermets." "She's to be reassessed at Mount Sinai... and I don't have anything further on Eda." "But she had her usual day, and she took her meals well." "I s this your fi rst time out of the hospital?" "." "Yeah." "First time on the streets since, uh - since J une the, uh, 1 6th." " Wow." "So this is a big excursion, huh?" "." " Yeah, it is." "One ofthe staffsaid that I should go out for a ride... and I thought, oh, I'll be bumping into all ofmy neighbors." "Well, what's wrong with that?" "." " Now thatyou've gotyour hair back." " They might not recognize me." "Oh, no, theywouldn't recognize me." "I can assureyou ofthat." "You look great." " [ Woman ] Hi, Edwarda." " Hi." " How areyou?" "." " Good." " How lovely to see you." " Same here." " Oh, that's wonderful." " You cut your hair shorter." "Oh, I guess so." "Uh, this is a surprise." " [ Eda ] Well, you're still here." " Yeah, I'm still here." " I think aboutyou girls all the time." " And so areyou." " That's what's so wonderful." " I'm thinking aboutyou all the time." "You are?" "." "Well, Falita and I do." "Well, I sawyour name on the list, and I said to Falita " "I said, ""It's a mistake." [ Laughs ]" "She said" " I knewyou were doing okay, and I was laughing." "I guess I've gotta go back to see the other patients." "But it's lovely." "It's just beautiful to seeyou, Edwarda." "Really lovely." "So I was surprised the other day whenyour doctor called me... and said, ""Would you like to see an old friend again?"" " [ Laughing]" " I said, ""Sure."" "Yeah, he told me Saturday he was talking toyou." "So, canyou tell me now about howyou feel?" "I have no pain." "I've lost quite a bit ofweight." "I think about, uh, 30 pounds since I was last here." "Uh, I'm eating well." "Uh, I started to walk about two weeks ago." "Um, I'm doing a bit of exercising for my legs." "Um, everything seems to be... normal." "You've seen thepatients aroundyou pass away." " And in a lot ofpain." " Mm-hmm." "Has it been difficult foryou, um... in the hospital at all from an emotional point ofview?" "." "No." "No." "Because I think I'm prepared forall that." "What isyour expectation for the future?" " Doyou have any idea?" " My expectations?" "." "My expectations are to get - is to get better..." " Mm-hmm." " and to get on with my life." "And if, um " "If I have any tests and it doesn't go that way... then I can face... what will be next." "Doyou seeyourself getting out ofhospital?" " Yeah." "I got here." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "[ Chattering ]" " [ Allison ] Joyce is deteriorating." " Is she?" "." "Quite a bit." "She's really hard to rouse." "She's really drowsy." "Herambulating and hermobility is really, really decreased now." "She has to get going though." " Says she's going home Saturday." " She's going home?" " Mm-hmm." "Saturday." " Going home for the big dinner." "She said it's an open bar." "She's very happy." "And she said, ""I know I can't dance, but I probably will wiggle. "" "[ Laughter]" "Still a great sense ofhumor." "You look fresh this morning." "Well, I 've been scrubbed from top to bottom." "This take a lot of effort maybe from you... but, at the end, you know, be good." "Oops." "Good." "[ Nurse On Tape ] 604, Bed 2" "Joyce Bone, C.A. ofthe bladder with bone mets and C. O.P.D." "She's going out on pass after supper today." " Can you just stop for a second?" "." " [ Tape PlayerStops ]" "I n her room" " I 've passed on to Dale - But in her room is a bag." "'Cause I had suggested last night that they put on a dressing for the weekend..." "like a leave-in or something, and they said no." "So what they've done is put the Telfas... some saline and some four-by-fours in a bag in her room... showed herwhat to do." " I don't know." " [Joyce ] So much fuss." " Hmm?" "." " So much fuss." "She's got a brief in her purse, too, in case she needs to go to the washroom." "She's got all the information." "You're okay." " Have a good time." " Thankyou." "Okay." "Thankyou." "I hope to." " Areyou okay now,Joyce?" "." " I'm fine." " [ Elevator Bell Dings ]" " Let's go." "Good-bye." "[ Woman ] Well, thenyou're gonna have to decide what to do next." "[ Eda ] Ifl come in for chemotherapy " "I live alone, so I 've gotta do a lot of thinking." "You know what I mean?" "." "That's the problem." "Well, you don't live alone anymore, kiddo." "[ Both Laughing ]" " Well " " You have lots of roommates." "I may not be at the hospital." "I don't know, you see?" "." " Oh, there's a chance that " " They may" " I might be discharged, you see." "Wow." "Where would you go?" "." "You've given up your apartment." " Oh, I would get myself a condominium or " " You'd rent a place." " Rent a place." "Oh, yeah." " Where's all your furniture now?" "." "Well, I've gotta find that out, because I thought he gave it all away." "But it doesn't sound like he gave it all away." "IfI'm going forweeklytherapy, then do I stayat the hospital?" "I don't stay at the hospital." "That's my concern." "Are we here already?" "[ Siren Wailing In Distance ]" "[ Elevator Bell Dings ]" "Here it is." "[ Nurse ] Hi." "Where are we going to?" "." "[ Nurse ] To 604, here." "It's by the windows, soyou'll need to go in head first." "Go in head first." "Okay,Joyce." "[ Paramedic ] Ma'am, we're gonna move you over." "Ready?" "." "One, two, three." " Thanks very much for " " Are you comfortable?" "." "No problem." "We'll get her." "Thankyou." " Hi,Joyce." " Hi." " Nice to seeyou." " Nice to seeyou too." "Okay,Joyce." "Hold on." "Let me put the bed down so we can move it." "[Paramedic] Haveyou got that?" " [Paramedic] The familymemberthat we spoke to " " Daphne?" "." "Yeah." "She said that herlevel ofconsciousness has decreased quite significantly." "She hasn't been able to - hasn't been able to eat anything or swallow anything today." "[ Nurse ] All right." "Okay." "And she's having a lot ofdifficulty keeping her awake." "Apparently the last time she had her meds was last night." " Thanks very much." " No problem." "Take care." " Hi,Joyce." " [ Weakly ] H i." " Hmm?" " Her head and foot." "[ Woman ] This is Motilium here." "Two Motilium and a Haldol." "And the valproic acid, she gets at - between 1 1 :00 and 1 :00." "So that's what shewould get, but there isn't the Ritalin." "[ Doctor] Okay." "And see here?" "." "Let's see." "For the H.S. sedation... she took 7.5 and 3.75." "So she only took 7.5." " Yeah, and nothing at all today." " Nothing." "Can you look in it and tell me how many are in it, please?" "." "Thanks." "She told me quite clearly." "She says, ""I was afraid at home."" "I said, ""What wereyou afraid of?"" "And she said, ""I was afraid that I would have pain and wouldn't be able to stand it."" "Hi." "So just two left." "So she took three last night." "Okay, and just two left." "Okay." "Thanks a lot." "Okay." "Thanks." "Bye." "She took the three ofthem last night." "She's had none today." "And Daphne says there's two left in the brown envelope." "And she's putting them in her bag, and she'll be here shortly, she said." " Today?" " Yeah." "But she says, no, it wasn't today." "It was last night she took them." "So she's hadnothing today." "So she's been uncomfortable, she said." "[ Alarm Beeping ]" "I'm just going to take a little listen here." "[ Even Breathing ]" "All right." "I don't want to disturb her." " [ Woman ] Oh, I loveya, loveya." " You've been busy this morning." " Yeah." " Good foryou." " Well, thankyou." " Good foryou." "I thought I really should get to see people." "Some ofthem have been here forweeks, and I haven't been to see them at all." " There's some that-A lot ofnew ones." " Yes." " See the two ladies here?" "." " No, I don't know those folks." "Don't know them." "So are you going at the end ofthe month?" "." "Orwhat's " " Who knows?" "." " Yeah." "I'm going for my CAT scan Monday." " On Monday?" " Yes." "So we'll work it from there." "We'll see what happens." "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm." " So, listen, hon." " So I'll seeyou later." " I'm going." "Oop." " We'll see you next week." " Yeah, I'll see you next week." " Next Saturday." " Next Saturday?" "." "Merry Christmas." " Same toyou." " Bye." "Take care." " Okay, hon." "Take care." "Bye-bye." "[ Even Breathing ]" "[ Nurse ] 604, Bed 2" "Joyce Bone, with ""C" ofthe bladder and bone mets." "When we first came on, she had indicated she needed something forpain and shortness ofbreath." "And she was able to verbalize that." "Her congestion and respiratory difficulty was obvious at that point." "AndJoyce's respiration ceased at 09.35.." "In the end, it was a rapid decline with respiratory distress... and then a peaceful last breath." "[ Nurse ] Good morning." "Okay." "J oyce." "Be i n peace, J oyce." "Be i n peace." "%% [Accordion ]" "%% [ I ntro ]" "% Angels we have heard on high %" "% Sweetly singing o'er the plains %" "% Glo-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh %" "% Oh-oh-oh-oh, Gloria %" " % In excelsis Deo % -[ Man ] Sing out." "Come on." "% Glo-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh %" "% Oh-oh-oh-oh, Gloria %" "% I n excelsis Deo %" "% Shepherds, why this jubilee %" "% Whyyourjoyous song prolong %" "% What the gladsome tidings be %" "% Which inspire your heavenly song %" "% Glo-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh %" "% Oh-oh-oh-oh, Gloria %" "% In excelsis Deo %%" "[ Doctor] You've had quite a few weeks, haven'tyou?" "How do you feel about it al l?" "." "You mean the changeover and " "Well " "We're here for a purpose, and, you know " "People are - are dying." "You just don't know when." "And you sort of expect it." "And, you know, it's just like..." "the nurses here, you know." "You just don't know when it's going to happen, but it's inevitable." "And when it's your roommate, you're ready to accept that, I think." " I am anyway." " Mm-hmm, mm-hmm." " Is it preoccupying you a lot?" "." " No." " No?" "." " I'm sort of... thinking of... doing it dayby day." "Ifl hearfrom them, that's fine." "Ifl don't, I'll wait andjust, you know " "I t's not really occupying my mind... or where I'm worried or too concerned at all." "No." "Is the outcome preoccupyingyou?" " No, 'cause I know that it's there." " Yeah." "Yeah." " You know?" "." " Yeah." "How doyou mean you know that it's there?" " Well, the cancer is still there." " Mm-hmm." "You know, I don't expect it to be gone, because it's an organ." "But whether it's gone further... ofwhether it's gone not too far or more aggressive..." "I don't think it really makes any difference." "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm." "Except that my oncologist wanted me to have some more chemotherapy... but a smaller dosage on a weekly basis." "But, you know, I haven't made any decisions yet." "I think I know where I'm going, but I don't knowyet." "And I'd like to hear him and, you know, see what options there are." "Yeah." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Chattering, Laughing ]" "As I was telling the social worker the other day..." "I think I gotta get out ofthis nut house." "I think it's driving me buggy." "[ Woman, Laughing] Oh, myGod." "Of course, I always was... a little buggy." "[ Chuckling ]" "That was" " That was priceless." "Have a nice day." "[ Nurse ] Hello." "This is a report on Richard Pollard." "His diagnosis is squamous cell lung cancer." "He's hepatitis C from old I. V. drug use." "He's not had radiation." "He declines that." "He says, ""Oh, I'm gonna die anyway. "" "And chemotherapy - his last treatment was last week." "He's had a fascinating life actually." "From high school, he joined Satan's Choice." "He was homeless for a bit." "He has been employed, but he says he's made a complete turnaround." "I think part of it was the folks from the islandjust taking him in." " I brought your nice picture." " Yeah." " You can stick that in the " " I n the window." " In the window,yeah." " Okay." " And, uh, what sort of papers are these?" "." " Yeah." "I brought you some, uh, Coffee Crisps to bribe the nurses." "Yeah." "And I found the, uh - the knife you mentioned." "It looks very good." "That was my ""Hi, Kadiddle" knife." "Was ityour, uh -your roast beefknife oryou self-protection knife?" "." " My social knife." " Yoursocial knife. [ Chuckles ]" "To make the people become social." "Yes." "Well, I'm glad I wasn't on the wrong end ofthat." "And I found" " This looks like somebody returned a borrowed bottle from you." " This was sitting on your landing." " I'll set that down here." "All right." "Your favorite brand ofbeer." "Otherwise, they'll think I'm running a booze town here." "Think ofall thoseyears you spent outside, Rick." "You were in a lot oftough winters." "Yeah." "It felt kind ofsad to be in your house, I have to say." "I was sad to leave it." "I was sad to say, ""No, I don't think Rick's - Rick's not coming back to live here."" "See, they'll be sad that I didn't pay the month's rent." " But they'll probably get somebody in there pretty quick." " Oh, yeah." " So,yourtwo housemates said theywould, uh, divvy upyourstuffand" " Yeah." "Theywouldn't fight overit, they said." "Well, as long as it don't get thrown out in the street, you know?" "'Cause I got a lot of mileage on those sleeping bags." "[ Woman On P.A., Indistinct ]" "[ Woman ] Chew it and swallow it." "You've gotta chew it, or the nurse will come." "[Man ] Yeah, come on." "Where's my dirtylook?" "[ Woman Coughs ]" " [ Coughing ]" " That's it." "Let it come up." "Good boy." "That's all right." " [ Man ] That's good." " Don't give him a dirty look now." "Have you swallowed that?" "." "Okay." "Open up again then." " Gee, you slept all morning." " You hada rough day, didn'tyou?" " What were you doing last night?" "." " Partied too much." " [ Murmurs ]" " Hmm?" "." "[ Indistinct ]" "No church tonight." "No church tonight." "[Nurse On Tape ] Room 602, Bed 2" " Lloyd Greenway." "Mixed glioma and pulmonary embolus." "He had some nitroglycerin spray for anterior chest pain at 1 1 :45." "His color seemed to be quite good at that time." "His pulsewas 76." "He had the oxygen going continuously, and it was ofgood effect." "He's had familyand friends in to visit... and he's been in a veryplayful mood today and hasn't had any sort oftearful episodes." "[ Woman ] Are you ready - [ I ndistinct ]" "[ Elevator Bell Dings ]" "Okay, Lloyd, ifyou get tired, you tell somebody, okay?" "." "So they gonna bring you up." "That's nice." "Yeah." " Brought you a present." " Did you really?" "." "Mm-hmm." "Yes." "This morning, on the way down, I stopped at the..." "Claremont." "In fact, they've both probablyopened." "So they're really new." "That's interesting." "Now this is Britain House." "[ Eda ] Mm-hmm." "See, this used to be the old hotel right at the corner ofSoudan and Mt." "Pleasant." "Oh, there it is." " Yeah." "See, this is the pool, on the roof." " Wow." "And this huge - You can see this huge glass dome." " They have a swimming pool." " Mm-hmm." "Hairdressing." "They have a hairdresser." "Yeah." "So I thoughtyou'd be interested in this sinceyou're kind oflooking around." "But to me, it seems that this kind ofapartmentwould offeryou more" " I think so." " in terms of care ifyou're, uh " "Oh, yes, this would." " You've got a lot to plan." " Yeah." " Ifthis works out, that's great." " Oh, yeah." "Have to do a lot of explanation because they " "They think I'm on my deathbed." " Yourfriends?" " Yeah." " You know what?" "You were whenyou came." " I know." "Oh, I know that." "Soyou don't have to explain so much." "Youjust need to say ""I've improved as the months went on."'" "But I haven't - I haven't written notes or said that." "And I didn't send any Christmas cards 'cause I'd just lost my sister." "So I didn't think it was appropriate to send Christmas cards." "But Gord's going to bring me some, um, New Year's cards." "And I thought that's at little more appropriate." "So I can send those in January when I'm up to it." " Yeah." "That's a goodidea." " Maybe I'll make a little - you know, write a little memo or something." "Mm-hmm." "I don't want to get into too much detail 'cause I don't knowyet,you know?" "Well, I'm so glad thatyou're gonna start connecting withyour friends." "Oh, definitely." "Oh, yeah." "I wouldn't want to lose them." " No." " No." "No." "[ Nurse On Tape ] 61 2, Bed 3" " Rick Pollard, C.A. of the lung with hepatitis C positive." "Sue talked with Rick regarding his smoking at nighttime." "We don'twant him to go outside, especiallywith the elevators being wonky." "He understands this, and he says sometimes he feels a little bit edgy... and that the smoking helps." "He's hada breakthrough ofPercocet, two tabs at 11 00 and 1300... and it looks like he's had a couple ofbottles ofbeer as well." "It's no problem." "I 'll take my mouthwash here." " Wendy's gonna bring you a - a beer." " Yeah, okay." "I'm gonna put the foot part ofyour bed down, because you're up on an angle here." "I've been on a - on an angle all my life." " [ Laughs ]" " Yeah." " Either put on an angle or" "You know?" "." " Mmm." "Okay, hold on." "I'll go get it." "[ Pop-top Snaps ]" "Hereyou go -your cocktail, sir." "Thankyou." "I'll take a few sips out ofthis with this first... before I spill all that." "Okay." "You can drink- You wanna drink it out ofthe can?" "." " I'll letyou be." " [ Sighs ]" " Ring your bell ifyou need me, okay?" "." " Yeah, okay." "All right." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Sighs ]" " Norm, you and I spokeyesterday." " Yeah." "Um, and I thinkwhat we're trying to do today... is just talk about, uh, Lloyd's " "Whatyou wanted to know is his prognosis and reallywhat to expect." "What are we looking at here, you know?" "." "[Doctor] There's always the outside chance... that things can happen fairly quickly." "It's not the more usual way, but it can happen." "Ti me-wise, that's why it's very difficult to say exactly how long it is." "Really, as hard as this is to do... the best thing to try and do is to take it one day at a time." "That's much easiersaid than done." "[ Inhales ] Okay." "But, uh, unfortunately, it's a verybad disease, and it's, um... you know, it's - it's taking its - taking its toll." "Yeah." "I can see it happening faster." "I really can." "Yeah, yeah." "And, uh " "It's a difficult time, Norm, but we're here foryou to supportyou." "And ifyou are able to take some time, now is the time to be with him." "[ Exhales ]" "'Cause I think he's ready, from what he said this morning." "Does he talk about dying withyou?" "This morning, he did." "This is the first time." " He sat in there with his finger like this." " Yeah." "Yeah." " [ Crying ] I said, ""What?"" " Mm-hmm, mm-hmm." "He says..." " ""Me and God."" " Mm-hmm, mm-hmm." "He says, ""I'm going to God."" " Yeah." " Mm-hmm." " Was that a hard thing to hear?" " [ Sniffles ] No." " Was it a comfort toyou?" " Yes." "It made me feel much better." "Because there'd been a problem, I don't know, with his mental state." "Because, I mean - [ Sighs ]" "He's preached foryears." "Yet, when it come to the time, he got afraid." "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm." "And that's what scared me more than anything." " And yet, today, quite comfortable." " That's good." "Yeah." "I said to him, ""Don't worry about it."" "He said, ""But you're gonna be here." And I said, ""Yeah."" "[ Coughing ]" "I said, ""But don't forget, I won't be long behind you."" "You know?" "." "And he says, ""Don't do anything stupid."" " Mm-hmm." " Yes." "[ Chattering ]" "Then there's Rick." "He's come out ofhis coma." "Was he in a coma?" "." "Well, apparentlywhen Sue was arranging his admission... he was not going to last the day." "You're kidding!" "Is that true?" "Coming in, he was so poor he wasn't going to, uh" "They told me he wouldn't last a week." "Oh, mygosh." "He looks great!" "He was having some sort of crisis, but he's come through it." "He's still on the Percocet." "He's" " He's had a number ofbeers." "He's had his Percocet, two tabs twice on evenings... and then on nights he had a beer... some Ativan and Percocet three times." " Percocet as in breakthrough, right?" "." " As in breakthrough." " In addition to his long-acting Oxycodone." " Yeah." " But he likes his Percocet." " He likes his Percocet." "It doesn't matter." "I think he's always going to have " " Yeah." " Okay." " Percocet, beer and cigarettes are his main " " So he's not having more pain?" "So that's why he thinks he's died and gone to heaven." "Best place he's everbeen, and he's been in a lot ofplaces." "Ten Percocet." "Okay." "How's your breathing feel?" "." "Uh, I'm having a tough time on one side." "It seems like there's a big plug of dough hanging in there..." " and it won't come out, you know." " Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." " [ Clears Throat ]" " Areyou coughing?" "." "Well, I'm trying to cough, but it don't come out." " Yeah." "Right." " Like there's nophlegm ornothin'." "You've done prettywell sinceyou've been in here though." "You were, you know, not so great the day that you came in and " "Well, uh, I wa" "I wa " "What happened there was..." " I was at home, right?" "." " Yeah." "Uh-huh." "And, uh, I was O.D.'ing on my drugs." " Like, I'd lose my senses for a while." " Right." " So I was losing the count." " Yeah." "Like I didn't know if it was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday orwhat time it was." "So I'd forget when I took my last drugs." "So I might have taken 'em five minutes ago, and I'd say, ""Oops, time for drugs."" " Oh, dear." "Yeah." " And I'd take more drugs." "Then I'd be phoning my doctor - ""I'm out of my drugs."" "He says, ""Well, you've gone through 1 1 8 Percs, eh?"" "Like, in three, four days." "You know, like, you need this care, you know." " So they got together and " " Yeah." " Is that whyyou ended up coming in here?" " Yeah." "[ Phyllis ] Because, in the Army, we have whole timbrel bands." "I still have a timbrel." "[ Doctor] Lloyd?" "[ Nurse ] Every time I go in there, he is so despondent." "So despondent." "He just, you know - Everything's hopeless." "He wanted me to - He got me real close." "He whispered." "I said, ""I can't hearyou, Lloyd."'" "So he whispered." "He says, ""I want to give up."' And then he asked for the vodka." "Yeah." "Yeah." "He wants to go." "[ Coughs ]" " [ Doctor] Okay, and he is wearing his - - [ Object Clatters ]" "[ Coughs, Clears Throat ]" "[ Woman ] Well, the result ofthis will determine whetheryou're gonna be released or not?" " Is that correct?" " [ Eda ] Yeah, I think so." "Well, I " "But I can" " I can decide that, if I want to be released, I can be released." " Yeah." "Is that something you'd want?" "." " You know, it's not up to them." " I mean, you'd prefer to be out, wouldn'tyou?" "." " The way I am" " Oh, yeah." "Definitely." " Yeah, I would." " Get out there and live." " Oh, yeah." " Yeah." "Exactly." "Well, I've found a great place foryou to live." "We can go and see it, actually, this week." "This friend ofmine has the condo across the street that I talked about." "So we could, uh, slip in, get the keys, have a look around." "Oh, that sounds good." "Check out the health club which - [ Laughs ]" " That's thrown in." " See?" "." "There ya are." "One year of health club." "There you go." "You could be down jogging." " Yeah?" "." " And doing whatever." "Well, I don't thinkjogging, but exercising certainly." "I'd like to get back into that ifl can." "And it says thatyou appoint us to  [Woman, Laughing ] To everything ya own?" "." " No, no, this isn't the property one." " We can do that afterwards." " We can do the property one after." "Lovely." " Then we can divide up all his goods." " Forget the property part." " This is for personal care." " You can divide that one up after, eh?" "." " Make sure they cut you in." " All right." "So here's what it says." "It says you give your - the people you've named, the authority..." """to make anypersonal care decision forme..." """that I am mentally incapable of making formyself..." """including the giving or refusing ofconsent... to any matter to which the Health Care Consent Act applies."'" "'Cause I 'm cuckoo!" "." "I 'm cuckoo!" "." "Ifyou get cuckoo." "And any instructions   [ Laughing ] - conditions or restrictions... contained in this form." "[ Muttering ] Oh, yeah." "Now, the one we talked about was the living will... where you would decline or refuse artificial life support." "Rememberyou said, ifyou're gone " " Okay, yeah." "I'm gone." " You're gone." "So that is an instruction, and onceyou write it down here... then even ifyou can't tell them whatyou want, we can tell them." "That's what he wanted here." "Here's what he told us." " You write it, and I'll sign it." " Well, let's just think about thewords." "'Cause it's kindofimportant." "Okay, you decline artificial life support." "I couldput in, quote, ""heroic."'" "Should I say ""heroic"artificial life support, like " "Well, you know, you should ask them." "Three guys died i n here last week in this room here." " Oh, did they?" " Yeah." "It feels okay though." "Doesn't feel like the other place, does it?" "." " No." " No." " The ghosts don't hang in here very much." " No, they split." "Or they're on top level." "They're on the - They're on the plane ride to heaven already." "% And I'm on myway to heaven %" " Yes, I'll carry " " Oh, sorry." "[StaffChattering]" "Okay." "You feel sad?" "." " Yeah." " [ Rick, Indistinct]" "It's okay, Lloyd." "It's okay to cry." "You're giving up an awful lot." "You know that where you're going, God'll make it up to you, right?" "." "[ Lloyd Moaning Softly]" "It's okay." " Want some water?" "." " [ Murmuring, Indistinct ]" "Hmm?" "." "[ Indistinct]" "Does he understand?" "." " Doyou want him to leave?" "." " No." "No?" "." "Doyou need a prayer or anything?" "." "Yeah." "Okay, let's just pray together." " Okay?" "." " Mm-hmm." "Dear God, we come to you now, and I bring Lloyd to you." "He's your child, and you love him." "I just ask, Father, that you would surround him with your presence." "God, you know how difficult it is for him to leave all those that he loves... especially Norm... to go intoyour presence... where there will be joy... and love... and peace forevermore." "[ Woman ] Now, haveyou hada C. T. scan before?" " Yes." " Okay." "Have you had the I.V. injection before?" "." " Yes." " No problems with the previous injections?" "." " No." " Okay." " All right." "This way." " Do you have my requisition?" "." "I do." "I'll have you lie down flat on your back." "Just making sureyour feet are just at the end ofthe table." "Ifyou could wiggle down just a tiny bit more." " Should I take any " " No, that's fine." "That's fine." "Everything else is okay." "As you know, the table's going to slide back and forth through the ring as we're taking pictures." "Okay." "[ Man ] Mmm." "Cool." "Of course I've got the biggest spot." "[ Laughing ]" "You got the best spot?" "." "You got the top bunk orthe - No, the bottom bunk." "Oh, no, this is yourspot." " I'm on the edge here." " Cool." "These are nice." "Carnations." " Eh?" " Carnations." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Somebody was just telling me he didn't like them much - carnations." "[ Grunts ] Who's that?" "." " Eh?" "." " Who's this?" "Oh, that's a girl I used to go with years ago." "Sheesh." " When I was in my spiffy days." " Wow." " Should've held on to her, man." " Eh?" "." "Well, s-s-she, uh " "I tried" " I tried very hard, but I was" " I was pretty... ornery, eh?" "." " Aha." " And set in myways." "And I'd come home when I would come home." " How long ago was this?" "." " In the '70s." " Wonderwhere she is now." " God knows." "But I don't even know why I keep carrying the picture around." "Well, it's part ofyou, man." "It's part ofyour life." "You get attached." "Like, of all the women I've gone with, she was the best woman I everwent with." " Well, hold on to the best memories." " Y-Yeah." "Well, I got" " I got lots ofthem." " Yeah." " Good and bad." "Some are rough and some easygoing." "But a lot ofthem are rough and rocky, you know?" "." " Yeah." " And so " " Well, it hasn't worked out too bad." " Yeah." "Well, so do you thinkyou would want to go through chemotherapy again?" "." " No." "The way I feel right now I don't " " But you feel pretty good?" "." "Yeah" " Well, no, not because ofthat." "I just don't want any more chemotherapy." " No." "I know." "It's, um " " It's not a cure." "And ifI'm going to be living alone, then, you know " " You have to be well enough to " " Yeah." "He said he was going to give me a very small dosage, you know... on a weekly basis." "Well, ifit was the difference between " "Ifhe said toyou, ""Well, this chemotherapy... might giveyou the chance offive good years" " "Oh, never!" "." "Not when it hits the organ, no." "Maybe five months, but I would think that that would - that would be the most." " You know what?" "." " Let the rest of it " "Ifyou're feeling well..." "I'd" " I would get out." "Oh, yes." "That's what I want to do." "Oh, yeah." " Live." "Enjoy." " Oh, yeah." "Oh, yes, definitely." "Yeah, and then when my time comes, then, uh, fine." "You know?" "." "I'll go do the rest ofit." "[ Nurse On Tape ] In 602, Bed 2" " Lloyd Greenway." "His condition really has sort of taken a nosedive this morning." "He had a fair bit of pain." "It seemed to be mid-sternal in the chest area, on the right side... and it seemed to radiate right through to his back." "He had some dyspnea with that and was really quite distressed." " [ Lloyd Grunti ng ]" " Okay." "How's that?" "." "Should we get your mum again?" "." "Yeah, all right." " [ Lloyd ] Better." " Better." "[ Grunting Continues ]" "[ Indistinct ]" " [ Father] OnlyI'll betyou he won't eat this." " Right, okay." "[ Expelling Phlegm, Coughing ]" " [ Groans ]" " All right." "[ Spits ]" "Give me a Kleenex." "Okay, you've got something - Have to go to sleep." "And you can't let that out." "Let it go." "Let it go, dear." "[ Grunting Continues ]" " Do any of my " " Okay." "any of my friends know where I am?" "." " [ Father] Oh,yeah." "Yeah." " Yes, everybody does." "[ Father] Everybody does." "[ Mother ] You have a lot of friends in, dear." "You can play with it for four days and not become addicted." " But after the fifth day " " I'm learning a lot of new things from you." "But after the fifth day, you're hooked - a heroin addict." "Right?" "." " And you didn't get involved in that." " Oh, yeah." "I was in it." " Oh, you were?" "." " I was into it for 40 years." " Heroin." " Yeah." "I probably spent a couple of million dollars in my arm." "[ Stammering ]" "To, uh, try to find a vein in me" "Like, see this one?" "." "That one's all dried right out, eh?" "." "Like, you could pump up veins here, you know, and not get 'em." "The only oneyou're gonna get is my pulse." "[ Phyllis ] Your main artery." "That's not a vein." " Yeah." " [ Laughing ]" "Well, that's howpeople died." "And, well, how doyou suppose you survived... all thoseyears... and all that abuse toyour body?" "I survived." "I managed." "Like, I think I seen the white tunnel twice." "Eh?" "." "I just about come to death just about twice." "[ Phyllis Clicks Tongue ]" "And, uh, they revived me." "But they shouldn't have." " Theyshouldn't have?" " No." "They shouldn't have." "You know, 'cause I'm onlygonna go back to the same thing." "You know?" "[ Chuckling ]" "Wow." "Well,you see there's something biggerbehind all that, Rick." " There's someone else looking afteryou." " [ Coughs, Gasps ]" " Oh." " Can'tyou see the " "Mmm." "You okay?" "[ Crying ]" " I t hurts to talk about it." " Mmm, I know." "[ Exhales ]" "J ust the memories." " Yeah." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Crying Continues ]" " Want to sit there?" "." " Are you okay there, Eda?" "." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I think it must have been quite a - Well, it's been trying weeks foryou." "Yes." "Waiting and wondering and, uh " "Yesterday must have been quite a - an ordeal." "But how did you think it went?" "." "Well, I thought it went prettywell." "I wasn't expecting any miracles." " Mmm." " I was expecting bad news." "It's just not knowing." "I didn't want to spend another six months here." " You knowwhat I mean?" " Yeah." "What" " What actuallydid he saytoyou?" "Well, he mentioned that the best way to go is to take the oral pills... he thought at this point in time." "How doyou feel about that?" "I told him that I would go for the oral if - if that's what he thought would be the best thing for me at this time." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I thought that - 'Cause I didn't want to take any more chemo." "Pardon?" "I didn't want to take any chemo where I had to go in and have the injections." " Mm-hmm." " I didn't want that at all." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." " You okay?" "." " Yeah." "Watch his - watch his hand." "[ Chuckles ] Orwatch... his knees and " " Thereyou go." " Oh, sorry." "Let me just put this up." "You okay?" "." "Now here we go through the doorway." " There we go." "Janet." "We'll put the, um - that pull-out bed, 'cause Norm is probably going to stay over." "Yeah, there's one out in the - The green one is out there." " Thereyou go." " Lloyd,you're in a new room." "It's a private room, okay?" "You're byyourself." "So ifyou don't hear anybody else, that's why." "J ust have a I ittle chat for a m i nute?" "." " Yes, you can." " Yeah." "The, um " "This is just a verbal report that we have." "The written one will - will come in another couple of days... so this one is just very preliminary." "But it shows a shadow on both lungs." "Yeah, so is that good or bad?" "." "Well, we'd have to see the full one... to see the exact extent ofit." "But ifit's on, uh - a bit ofdifficulty on both sides... it may be that it's a bit worse than it was, uh, before." "So, um... we'll know a bit more when we get the complete one." "Uh-huh." "See, this is wh-what I was concerned about the other day." "I just got the, uh - the bill back from the O.D.S.P." "Yeah?" "And the " "Promote me or demote me... from $966... down to $1 02 a month." " Mm-hmm." " You know?" "." "Mm-hmm." "Now..." "I can't live on that." "Yeah." "Jodi will, um " "We'll askJodi to talk to you about that... and she'll - she'll, uh, be better able to helpyou with that." "Like, I might as well go back out to my- my lifestyles, you know." "'Cause, you know, this - this just ain't my lifestyle." "[Nurse On Tape ] 604., Bed 1" " Eda Simac." """C"ofthe breast with livermets." "Eda declined her P.O.. meds this morning... since she was waiting for her chemotherapy." "We started her first dose at 1 300 hours... and she will decide when to continue with her routine medications... which she may or may not decide to take." "Oh, there you - she is." "How are ya?" "." "Okay." "How are you?" "." "Oh, I just feel a little pooped out." " Yeah?" "." " Yeah." " Pooped out in more than one way." " Yeah?" "." "Oh, really?" "." "Oh, yeah." "[ Chuckles ]" "I'm okay." "Yeah, at report this morning, they said you were feeling a bit down?" "." "Yeah." "I was ready to get up for a shower... and then, all of a sudden, I got sort oftired, you know." "Yeah?" "." "So I foundl had to laydown and been laying eversince." "Yeah." "Are you feeling a bit down in spirit, are you, or " " Oh, no." " No?" " Oh." " I can't be smiling day and night here... for the three shifts." "[ Laughing ]" " I agree withyou." " You know what I mean?" "." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I mean, I'm always trying to smile and keep my spirits up... but you get tired of smiling all the time." "Although theysayit's very, verygood forall those muscles that we have in the cheeks." "Oh,yeah, especially the ones now that are really showing." " Thank you for coming." " Okay, Eda." "All right." "Can you tell me about your concerns?" "." "Well... it's that I went down from   from 966 " " Yeah." " down to $1 02." " Right." "Now... a man that was living on my expenditure " " Mm-hmm." " You know?" "." " And my lifestyle..." " Mm-hmm." "like that, that's diddly squat." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Mm-hmm." " You know?" "." "IfI'd seen you open your bankwallet, you know..." "I'd probably breakyourjaw for it." " Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." " You know?" "." "And I don't want to go through all that again." " No." "Mm-hmm." " You know?" "And, uh, I-I'm getting sick and tired ofthis life." " Mm-hmm." " You know, like this   the way life is going." " Mm-hmm." "How's itgoing foryou?" "Well, right now, not so hopefully." "You know?" "." "'Cause the way things are, you know, they're just - they're just not sailing." "You know?" "." "Like " "Mm-hmm." "What is it thatyou need now?" "." "Uh, I need some kind of security that... ifthey put me out, they're not just gonna put me out on the street." "We're not going to putyou out anywhere, Rick." " Yeah." " You know?" " Well, I" " I didn't expect it." " No." "No." "I mean,you're very appropriate to be here." "Areyou afraid we're gonna kickyou out on the streets?" " No." " No." "If I go out, I 'd just turn " "I'd just turn back into the mean animal I used to be." "And..." "I can go out and in an hour... and make $500, $600, if not more." " Right." " You know?" "." " Is that somethingyou want to do?" " No." "I don't want to do that." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "[ Nurse On Tape ] Eda Simac, breast cancer." "Room 604." "She had her chemo at 9:00 this morning... and this afternoon she called for Dr. Hegarty... and said she didn't want to continue with that." "So it's now been discontinued." "That's a new order." "Andat 1:30, she was complaining ofshortness ofbreath." "She didn't want oxygen at that time... but wanted an Ativan 0.5 which she had at 1:30 with good effect." "[ People Chattering ]" "[ Ragged, Wet Breathing ]" "I 'm back." "I 'm back." "[ Sniffles, Sighs ]" "I understand." "Okay." "J ust go to sleep." "J ust go to sleep, honey." "[ Crying ]" "Okay." "[ quietly] Let him go." "It'll be a betterplace than this." "You'll go to a betterlife than this." "61 2, Bed 3" " Rick Pollard." "C.A. lung with hepatitis C positive." "At around 2 2 1 0, patient became paranoid." " Richard." " Richard?" "." "He packed his belongings and searched for his knives." "He said he had two knives and he wanted to leave." "We call him Rick." "His name is Richard." "Well, be careful." "I gotta get back." "And around 2300, patient became paranoid again." "He took offhis gown and stood up... and holding the bottle ofbeer and tried to bang against the window." "We called the securityguy, and we tried to ask him to come out." "He asked for a smoke, and we promise him to give him a smoke." "And asked to go the bathroom." "So we help him to the bathroom, and we got the bottle back." "And I gave him a NoZinan, 5 milligrams subcu, at 23 1 0 at that time." "And after he went to the bathroom - Actually he did not void at that time." "And Diana went with him to the back lounge to have a smoke." "And then later on " "[ I nhales, Coughs ]" "[ WheeZing, Gasping ]" "Oh, Norm." "[ Grunting, wheezing ]" " [ Crying ]" " Norm." "[ Indistinct ]" "Are you all right?" "." "He's gotten worse." "[Phyllis ] We're here withyou, Lloyd." "Norm's here." "Major Bobbitt." "You're okay." "You're safe." "I can read to you from John." "[ Grunting Continues ]" "You know where Jesus said..." """Let not your heart be troubled." """God, believe also in me..." """'cause in my father's house are many mansions." """If it were not so..." """would I have told you that I go to prepare a place foryou?" "." """And ifl go and prepare a place foryou, I will come again..." """and receiveyou unto myself..." """that where I am, thereyou will be also." """And whither I goyou know, and the wayyou know." """Forl am the way, the truth and the life." "No one comes to the Father, but byme."'" " [ Norm ] Amen." "Amen." "Almighty God, we thankyou becauseyou are always with us." "Even in the difficult times ofour life, you reach out to us to comfort us... to bless us, to uphold us." "God, we thankyou for his life... for what he has meant to those who love him... for all the accomplishments ofhis life... and the way that he servedyou throughout his lifetime." "God, we wouldjust ask now thatyou would surround him... with yourpresence, with yourpeace, with your love." "O God, even at this hour... mayyou make him aware thatyou are with him... that he does not walk through this dark valley alone but he walks with you." "And wejust ask now..." " [ Rick Groaning ] that Lloyd would not struggle too long... but that he wouldjust be able to let go and go intoyourpresence... where there is life evermore... and where there is no more suffering orpain or sorrow." "We ask these mercies... in the name ofthe Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." "Amen." " [ Exhales, Gasps ]" "[ Gasping ]" "[ Exhales, Falls Silent ]" "[ Grunting Continues, Calmer]" "[ Exhales ]" "[ Phyllis ] Big loss." "Big loss foryou, Norm." "Big loss." "Big time." " A whole new life now." " Mmm." " Complete new life now." " Yeah." "Uh - [ Sniffling ]" "It's a little late in life to be starting a new life." "I said I'd always be there for him." "Andyou are." " You've been wonderful with him." " [ Sighs ]" "We should all have somebody so attentive to us at this time... as you've been with him." "We should all be blessed that way." "[ Grunting Softly ]" "[ Nurse ] Lloyd Greenway has rallied." "Um, he's taking thickened fluids." "He's verbaliZing a little bit." "There's been no seizures or congestion." "And he's - he's rallied." " Yeah." " How are you this morning?" "." "My hands are cold." " Didyou have a good night?" " So-so." " So-so?" " So-so, he says." "Yeah?" "Well, the nurses alreadyfixedyou up for the day, did they?" " Got an itch." " You got an itch?" "[ I ndistinct ]" "Well, we'll have to wait to see the nurses... whether they want you to have something to drink or eat or something." "What would you like, eh?" "." " [ Grunting]" " You cold?" "." "And you're hot?" "." "Do you want a couple toothpicks to hold your eyes open?" "." "Eh?" "." "Mmm?" "." "What's the matter?" "." "[ Nurse ] In Room 61 4. is Rick Pollard with C.A. lung, hepatitis C positive." "His condition remains verypoor." "Within the last few shifts, he has deteriorated... and his condition is very unstable... though he's fairly rousable and fairly verbally responsive... and less agitated." "He remains congested plus plus." "Respiration is wet." "He was maintained on oxygen, three liters per minute, by nasal prong." "He had no hemorrhoidal bleeds this shift." "His WanderGuard is working fine." "He had a seizure, as well, at 1 :00 a.m. this morning." "He was suctioned." "A fair amount of" " Want me to sit down?" "." " No, just come up my way again." "You're gonna sit down again on the bed." "Right up like this, but you're going to bring your legs up onto the bed." "Okay?" "." "Let's wait for Allison." "She can help." " Oh,you want help." " When you're done." "Couldn't get his legs over the top." "We're gonna do a pivot here, Rick." " Ready?" "." " One, two, three." " [ Grunting ]" " Okay." "Thereyou go." "You have a little rest now." "[ Woman ] He's got no problems." "He's okay." "I just feel like I want to let go." " You know?" "." " You've said that before." "Yeah, I really do." "J ust want to let go." "I think that's changed sinceyou came here." "When it entered the liver, then I started to think that." "What doyou think contributed to that sense ofpeace?" "I thi nk... my whole " "I s there a sense of going back to your faith at all, or " "Oh, no." "I won't be going back to my faith." "Not to that denomination." " At least not the organiZedreligion." " Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Um, I think... it probably had a lot to do with my sister dying... and the way she died and how long it took." "I think that had a lot to do with it." "Didyourstepsister come from California whileyoursisterwas ill?" "She came" " No." "She came " " Forthe funeral?" " She came for the funeral, yeah." "Yeah." "We didn't know she was dying." "She wouldn't tell us." "I guess what I'm hearing aboutyour stepsister is that... that was a great disappointment foryou." "Defi nitely." "Besides everything else, but that to me was just unbearable." "A final blow." "Yeah." "It was a final blow." "That's kind ofsad." "It is." "I feel sorryforher more than anything else." "So, Eda, I guess what I'm hearingyou say - there's no second chance." "I can't - can't give her another chance." "Not when I 'm in this predicament." "'Cause I don't need it." " You're afraid." " No, I'm not afraid." " Ofwhat she might do with it?" " No." "I want to - I want to frighten her." "You want to frighten her." "I want to frighten her." "How so?" "Well, I don't want her to be able to get in touch with me... and that keeps herworried..." "like she kept us worried since my sister died." "[ Raspy, Wet Coughing ]" "[Nurse ] What happened this morning is, he was actuallyfine." "He kind ofslept through the latterpart of the night shift, basically, up until 6:00 or 6:30." "And then just when we were coming on to shift, about 20 after 7':00... extremely agitated again, jumping out ofbed." " Uh-huh." " Like I said, he'll" "It's kind ofdeceiving." "He's verylucid." "He's calling us by ournames right now and being Rick and makingjokes and whatnot... but he'll literally kind of flip very quickly and start hallucinating... and gets very paranoid and angry and doesn't know where he is." "And it's that - Then we really have to act quickly." "He's definitelyregressing to parts ofhis past... and a lot ofwhateverhappened then is " "It's all coming out right now." "He's talking about police and people that did him wrong... and very angry and very feeling like, you know " "How are you today?" "." "[ Labored Breathi ng ]" "Lloyd?" "." "Are you still having pain?" "." "The nurse is here." "Can you tell her?" "." " She's going to give you some spray." " I have some spray here." "Okay?" "." "Can you open your mouth?" "." "Okay." "Okay, dear." " Close it up." " Okay, close it up." " Close it, Lloyd." " [ Chuckles ]" "All right." " Good." " [ Indistinct ]" " [ Indistinct ]" " Hmm?" "." "It'll helpyour chest pain." "That's the nitroglycerin." "Doesn't taste great, but it'll helpyou, okay?" "." "Feel at peace, Lloyd." "Doyou?" "." " Doyou feel at peace?" "." " [ Exhales ]" "Good." "Good." "'Cause you got nothing to fear." "Nothing." "[ Coughs, Clears Throat ]" "[ Phyllis ] What kind ofa night didyou have?" " Rough." " Rough." "How so?" "I-I " "I sleep in fits and shivers, you know?" "." "Wake up and..." "lay there and daydream and " "Doyou let the nurses know?" "Yeah, I usually come out andget a pain pill." "Yeah, but what are you taking?" "." "I'm taking ""Dilauda."'" " Dilaudid?" "." "Or do you take " " Yeah, that's " "No, I'm taking Percocet too." "Well, it's okay to,you know, butyou need to take the Dilaudid." "I thinkyou'd get more pain relief from that than " "[ Grunts ] There's too much morphine in it." "But it's man-made morphine, eh?" "." "And what does that do toyou?" "You can get addicted to that too easy, you know, like " "Oh, Rick,you know what?" "You don't get addicted whenyou need it forpain." "[ Laughing ]" "That's the truth." "You don't need to worry, my friend, about getting addicted." "That's the least ofyour worries right now." "[ Groans ]" "So, you take the Dilaudid." " I 'm taking it." " Because it'll control your pain better." "And you mustn't let yourself suffer." "You've had enough pain andsuffering inyourlife." "[ Scoffing Laugh ]" "And it's not a concern." "Our concern is to makeyou comfortable - as comfortable as possible." "I 'm doing my best." "I knowyou are." "You saidyou felt - you felt pretty down." "Is it fear, or is it anxiety?" "No, it's not the fear of dying." "I 've faced death too many times." "Mmm." "J ust the way I might " " The wayyou might die." " Yeah." "I'd soonergo in a gun battle,you know." "Not this way." "I - [ Gasps ]" "[ Exhales ]" "[ Crying ]" "Eda has taken a turn." "Um, she is, uh, angry underneath her confusion... and exhibiting bizarre behavior." "She doesn't seem to know where herlegs are supposed to be." "Theyfeel like lead, she said." "She is having a hard time taking medication." "She looks quite distressed in there." "Eda." "Dr. Hegarty here." "Are you having any pain?" "." " All right, no need to sit up." " [ Groaning ]" "It's all right." "[ Groans ]" "Okay." "Are you having some pain?" "." "Hmm?" "." "All right." "I'mjust going to take a little listen here anda little look." "Is that all right?" "I just want to take a - Let me just heat my cold   [ Rubbing Hands Together ]" "J ust take a small listen here." "Okay." "[ Groaning ]" "All right." "Okay, just take a little listen." "It's okay." "Okay." "[Nurse ] So howlong doyouplan to be here for?" "[ Man ] It doesn't make any difference." " No?" "Okay." "It's just that, um, I'll be here for a while." "Okay." "I need some rest." "I been going all day here." " Have you?" "." "Okay." "Are you staying somewhere?" "." " Across the street." "Marriott." " Oh, good." "Okay." " I'm all set." " [ Nurse ] Okay?" " [ Kisses ]" "Do you know who this is?" "." "Do you?" "." "[ Groaning Softly]" "[ Inhales Deeply, Exhales ]" "[ Nurse On Tape ] Lloyd has not had a very good evening." "He was quite tremulous and agitated at 1 630." "MidaZolam, 5 milligrams subcu, was given at this time, with effect." "He was complaining ofcramp-like pain at 1 730 in his right leg and in his abdomen." "Morphine, 3.75 milligrams subcutaneously, was given with excellent effect." "This held him to about approximately 8.: 00 or a little bit thereafter... when he again became quite restless and distressed - actually very distressed." "He was holding his right chest and his leg " "[ Grunti ng, Labored Breathing ]" " [ Phyllis ] What's her sister's name in California?" " Pauline." " Her half-sister?" " Pauline." " Haveyou talked to her?" " Oh - [ Chuckles ] Oh, yes." "She calls about once every six weeks." "Oh, six weeks." "She was very sad about, uh " "Does she know at this point that Eda's this poor?" "." "Yes." "See, they catch me in the middle." "Yes." "Of course." "You just be" "You're being tugged." " Yeah." "Pauline's over here and Eda " " One on each hand pulling you." "Eda wouldsay, ""Well, whydon'tyou tell herthis?"" "And I says, ""I'm not going to tell her anything, Eda."'" "I says, ""You want to tell her anything, here's the phone."'" "She felt somehow that she ignored Frieda... andyou, when Frieda was so ill?" "Paul i ne came as the best she could." "That's a long way, from California." "She was here the next day, you know." "And not only that, she had to find her own way." " You mean when Frieda died." " There was" " Yeah." "There was no way - nobody to pick her up." "And she said ""Oh, I'll do it on my own." I said ""I'll have somebody there meetya."" """No." "Never mind." But she came on her own." "Suitcase and all, she come the next - She came the next morning." "[Phyllis ] I guess it was after, she never contacted herfora long time." "[ Brother-in-law] That's true." "[ Phyllis ] Well, she said she felt she's forgiven her... butjust because she's forgiven her doesn't mean she has to carry on with the relationship." "[ Brother-in-law ] That's right." "You have to forgive." "[ Phyllis ] Yeah." "And she felt she has forgiven her." "[ Brother-in-law ] Yeah." "[ Nurse ] Rick has some edema - dependent edema in his hands." "He's semi-responsive." "Daina was in this morning and saw him... and was wondering whether we could lighten him up a bit." "I said for the safety ofthe patients and for himself, it's too risky." "Too risky." "We thought we m ight risk leaving a Foley in now." "I think he might be more comfortable." "[ Monitor Beeps ]" "[ Groaning ]" "Okay." "Okay." "[ Ragged, Guttural Breathing ]" "Okay there." "[ Ragged Breathing Continues ]" "[ Norm ] Going home to be with the Lord." " [ Ragged Breathing, Grunting ]" " You're going home to be with the Lord." "Going home to be with the Lord." "[ Kisses ]" "You're just leaving this old shell here." "Thankyou,Jesus." "Thankyou,Jesus." "[Ragged Breathing Continues ]" "[ Mother Sobbing ]" "[ Norm Sobbing ] It's okay, Marion." "It's okay." "I feel so comforted right now." "I don't know what happened." "Ijust know he'll be so fine." " [ Father] Yes." "[ Norm ] It's okay." "He's okay." "He is okay." " How are you standing up?" "." " I'm okay, Marion." "I've had my cry with him... and all of a sudden a peace come over me that I cannot believe." "I am so calm." "Seeing him today did the trick." "No, because I know where he's going." "[Ragged Breathing Continues ]" "Okay, baby, okay." "[ Groans ]" " Oh." " Look at him." "Gonna be with Grandma and Granddad and Jesus." " Okay, baby?" "." " You're gonna be okay." "Go with Grandma and Granddad and Jesus." "[ Groans ]" "Okay?" "." "Okay." "[Norm ] Everything is gonna be fine, babe." "[ Marion ] Okay, honey." "They told me they were giving him medicine on a diffuser." "They've got something, you know, here." "Oh, going in by I.V." " Didyou speak to himyesterday?" " No." " Did he speak toyou?" " No." "[ Sighs ]" "I thinkwhen Grahame and I were here this morning... he wiggled his eyebrows at us a couple oftimes." " He did?" " Yeah." " This morning?" " Yeah." "Oh." "That's good." "I think he recognized us, but that was about it." "Strange, but he looks better to me than he did when I came in..." "I guess it was last Saturday." " Looks like a Renaissance painting." " What?" "He looks like a Renaissance painting." "The AgonyofRick." "[ Ragged, Wet Breathing ]" "I'm going to go home now." "I'm going to leaveyou in God's good care." "[ Ragged, Wet Breathing Continues ]" "And when it's time to go, you'll go and be with him." "Myfriend, I just pray that the angels will - will line the path... as you journey from earth to heaven." "Oh, God, I just pray now thatyou would be with Eda... very close to her." "Surround herwith your presence and your love." "May she feel that in hervery being and her spirit." "May she feel safe... as she leaves this earth... and goes to be with you in your kingdom... oflove and peace and joy forever." "God, we thankyou for this person... and forwhat she has meant to us... as we've journeyed with her over these months." "Just bless her now, God, and help her to let go... intoyour arms oflove... and intoyour presence forevermore." "We ask this in Jesus' name." "Amen." "Good night, my friend." "[ Kisses ]" "[ Ragged, Wet Breathing Continues ]" "[ Labored Breathing ]" "Hi, George." "Hi." "It's Daina calling." "Uh, Rick's condition took a turn for the worse last night... and he's been kind of getting steadilyworse." "Uh, today he hasn't really been responsive." "But his breathing is verylabored." "Yeah." "So it seems like, um... he's probably not going to be with us too much longer." "Is there a chance thatyou would come tomorrow?" "That's right." "No, it wouldn't be a good idea." "So ifthat snowstorm does come, I would agree with you that there's no - no point risking." " [ Ragged Breathi ng ]" " We're all with you." "We all love you." "Mm-hmm." "Now Jesus wants you to go and be with him." "Okay?" "." "All right?" "." "[ Phyllis ] Dying" " Dying is veryhard work." " Hmm?" "." " Dying is veryhard work." " Mm-hmm." " It's like going through labor." " That's hard. [ Chuckles ]" " Right." " verysimilar." " Mm-hmm." " Giving birth to new life." " Mm-hmm." "Okay, babe." "Let it go." " Bring you a cup oftea or anything?" "." " Hmm?" "." " Do you want a cup of tea or anything?" "." " Not right now." "Oh, Lloyd." "Just push that down." "[ Norm ] Lloyd." " Let it go." " I'm going to be okay." "Don't worry about me." "Don't worry about me." "I'm going to be fine." "You know what a strong guy I am." "I'm going to be fine." "You know me." "I have got Damon." "I gotyour mom and dad." "Don't worry about me." "I'm going to be all right." "Just let it go, babe." "Let it go." "Let it go, dear." "Let it go." "Let it go." "We're all together." "Let it go." "Seeyou soon." "I loveyou, and I'll seeyou soon." "You know that." "I've told you that before." "Everything's going to be fine here." "Richard?" "." "Okay, Richard." "God bless you." "You've suffered." "Yes, he has." " That was quite the struggle, Rick." " Yeah." " Not too bad at the end though." " Yeah." " very " " Yeah." "He went peacefully." "But you did struggle." "But now you're free of pain." "We'll just lower his head." "[ Motor Whirring]" "[ Nurses, Indistinct]" "No, theywere down the hall." "But, I mean, he just stopped breathing." " That's" " That's all that happened." " Okay, Richard." "There you are." "No." "Yeah." "They're right here right now." "[ Nurse ] Okay." " I think it's okay." " Everything's right." "Yeah." "I 'll just use my stethoscope." "That's good." "There we are." "Okay." "I'll come and pronounce him." "Okay." "Old buddy, here's toyou." "One last ride." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Inhales, Exhales ]" "[ Ragged, Wet Breathing ]" "Okay." "You know, things have been much the same for the last couple of days." " Mm-hmm." " But, uh..." "I just wondered, doyou have any questions or " "Uh, I don't have, uh, any - any questions." "I understand that she's failing rather quickly." "Yeah." "Sh-She looks comfortable." " Mm-hmm." " Um " "The noisy breathing is - is, uh " " Filling up in her chest." " Yeah, it's not really bothering her." "It probably sounds worse to people around her." " That's right." " She looks comfortable right now." "She doesn't look like she's in pain." "She looks a little bit less restless than she looked yesterday or the day before." " Mm-hmm." " So" " So that's - that's good." "Um, but I think we'rejust going to continue along with what we're doing... and, uh, you know, we'lljust go from there." " Okay?" " Yep." "[ Man ] Let's share together in the 23rd psalm again, okay?" """The Lord is my shepherd." "I shall not want." """ He maketh me to I ie down in green pastures." """ He leadeth me beside the still waters." """He restoreth my soul." "He leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake."" "Okay." """Yea, though I walk through the valley ofthe shadow of death..." """I will fear no evil, for thou art with me." """Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." """Thou preparest a table before me in the presence ofmine enemies." """Thou anointest my head with oil." """My cup runneth over." """Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days ofmy life..." """and I shall dwell in the house ofthe Lord... forever."'" "[ Woman ] Where's Norm?" "." " There is a change." " Yeah." " Definitely." " He's with the Lord." " [ Norm Sobs ]" " Yeah." " It's okay." " It's okay, Lloyd." "It's okay, baby." "Just go home with God." "[ Norm ] Much betterplace." "It is indeed." "[ Norm, Sobbing] Much betterplace." "Don't need this aggravation." "[ Marion ] Grasp his hand." "God bless you." "[ Sobbing ]" "I t's okay." "Let him go, Marion." " I 'm happy." " Yes." " No more suffering." "No more pain." " He went just at that time." "He went just at that minute, didn't he?" "." "No more suffering." "No more pain." " [ Marion Continues Sobbing ]" " It's okay." " I can " " That's okay." "[Alarm Beeping]" "I loveyou, dear." "[ Norm Sighs ]" "Bye, baby." " He's at peace now." " Yes." " He went so peacefully." " He did." "He did." "Bye, baby." "Don't worry about it." "Rememberwhat I said." "No papers all overyour mansion." "Remember that." "[Marion ] No newspapers." " You remember that." "No pack-ratting up there." "No." "[ Marion ] Okay, baby." "[ Norm ] We love you." "[ Father] You've done the trick." " [ Norm ] Thankyou." " [ Chaplain ] You're welcome." " Thankyou very much." " [ Sobbing Continues ]" "[ Norm ] It's okay." "Much better." "He's going to a far better place." " Yeah." " Okay." "[People Chattering]" "Bye." "[ Chaplain ] He's had such a struggle." "[ Mother] Oh, has he ever." "[ Chaplain ] It was so beautiful." "He was so calm." "[ Marion ] Yes, hejust" " Hejust went." "[ Norm Sobbi ng ] Thank you." "[ Kisses ] Thank you." "Thank you." "[ Ragged, Wet Breathing ]" "Okay, Eda." "If Phyllis wants to be here, she should be here." "It's too early, I think." "I don't know." "She doesn't want to come - I know." "We're not gods." " I know." " Okay." " But I would give her some morphine." " Mm-hmm." "[ Quiet Breathing ]" "[Alarm Beeping, Faint]" "[Alarm Beeping Louder, Continues ]"