"And with that movie 2001, you're projecting us into the 21st century." "I brought along my son, Jonathan, who, in the year 2001, will be the same age as I am now." "Maybe he will be better adjusted to this kind of world that you're trying to portray." "The big difference, when he grows up..." "In fact, if we wanted to wait until the year 2001, is that he will have, in his own house, not a computer as big as this, but at least a console through which he can talk to his friendly local computer" "and get all the information he needs for his everyday life, like his bank statements, his theater reservations, all the information you need in the course of living in a complex modern society." "This will be in a compact form in his own house." "He'll have a television screen, like these here, and a keyboard, and he'll talk to the computer, and get information from it." "And he'll take it as much for granted as we take the telephone." "I wonder, though, what sort of a life would it be like, in social terms?" "If our whole life is built around the computer, do we become a computer-dependent society?" "In some ways, but they will also enrich our society because it will make it possible for us to live, really, anywhere we like." "Any businessman and executive could live almost anywhere on Earth and still do his business through a device like this." "And this is a wonderful thing, it means we won't have to be stuck in cities." "We'll be able to live out in the country, or wherever we please." "Screen says it's an unimplemented trap, but the error code is wrong, it's a system error." " So what's the upshot?" " It's not gonna say, "Hello."" "It absolutely is gonna say "Hello."" "It's nobody's fault, it's a system error." "You built the voice demo." " The voice demo is flaky..." " Keep your voices down." "I've been telling you that for..." "This thing is overbuilt." "It worked last night." "It worked the night before that." "It worked three hours ago." "It's not working now, so just skip over the voice demo." " Fuck you." " Everything else is working." "Skip over the voice demo." "We need it to say, "Hello."" "You're not hearing me, it's not going to say, "Hello."" "Just fix it." " Fix it?" " Yeah." " In 40 minutes?" " Fix it." " I can't." " Who's the person who can?" "I'm the person who can, and I can't." " How bad are you saying?" " It's pretty bad." "I don't know what that means." "It means the demo is more than likely gonna crash." "You have to keep your voices down," "Joel Pforzheimer is sitting out in the house." "I don't care if..." "Who's Joel Pforzheimer?" "GQ." "He's been shadowing you for a week, did you notice?" "Just look like everything's fine, he's sitting out in the house." "Hey." "What are you guys saying?" "Some kind of race condition, but we haven't been able to track it down yet." "Is the synthesizer sampling fast enough?" "No, so the rates are off, and it keeps crashing." "It's 20 seconds out of a two-hour launch, why not just cut it?" " We can't cut it." " Yeah, you just cut it." "Two days ago, we ran a Super Bowl ad that could've won the Oscar for Best Short Film." "There are more people who can tell you about the ad than can tell you who won the game." "I understand, but the ad said the Mac was gonna save the world." "It didn't say it was gonna say, "Hello."" "We open the house in five." "Don't open the house." "We're taking a quick break." "Part of the problem is, we can recompile..." "What?" "...but if it's a hardware problem , we can't get into the back." "Why not?" "Do you wanna tell her, or should I?" "Don't start with me, man." "Why can't he get into the machine?" "You need special tools." "What kind of special tools?" "Just take a screwdriver." "He didn't want users to be able to open it." "You need special tools." "Is this for real?" "There are 100 engineers walking around here." "None of them have the tools?" "In fairness, not many of them were issued the tools." "What about you?" "I left them at the office, it was 3:00 a.m. when I..." "Oh, Jesus Christ." "Cut "Hello." No!" "What's the first rule of a launch?" "It's not gonna crash." "It just did." "Andy!" "Which one?" "The other Andy." "You're right there, why would I be calling out?" "He needs to talk to you." "Yeah." "The exit signs need to be off, or we're not gonna get a full blackout." "We've spoken to the building manager" " and the fire marshal." " And?" "There's absolutely no way they're gonna let us turn the exit signs off." "I'll pay whatever the fine is." "The fine is, they're gonna come in and tell everyone to leave." "You explained to the fire marshal that we're in here changing the world?" "I did, but unless we can also change the properties of fire, he doesn't care." "Steve..." "If a fire causes a stampede to the unmarked exits, it'll have been well worth it for those who survive." "For those who don't, less so, but still pretty good." "Look, I..." "I need it to go black." "Real black." "Get rid of the exit signs and don't let me know how you did it." "Fix the voice demo." "You need special tools to open the Mac?" "You knew it was a closed system." " I didn't know literally." " Jesus." "And if you keep alienating people for no reason, there's gonna be no one left for it to say "Hello" to." "It's not for no reason." "We blow this, and IBM will own the next 50 years like a Batman villain." "Remember the phone company?" "That's what Bell was called, "the phone company."" "IBM will be the computer company." "Ten years later, they'll be the information company, and that's very bad for the human race." "So we don't have time to be polite or realistic, because if we are, this company's next product launch will be held in front of 26 people and a stringer from the Alameda County Shoppers' Guide." "We haven't advertised the voice software." "We could pull it out of the demo, and no one would be disappointed." "Do you want to try being reasonable, just, you know, see what it feels like?" "Okay." "Pull the voice demo." "Thank you." "And then cancel the launch." "I see." "You just tricked me a little." "You can tell me how unimportant it is, but if the computer doesn't say, "Hello,"" "then neither will John Sculley, who, I promise you, agrees with me." "Sculley's not gonna cancel the launch because he's not insane." "He's also not a hack, and when it comes to the Macintosh, he's gonna do what I ask him to do." "What's in this box?" "Nothing you need to worry about, don't even open it." "What the fuck?" "Why is there a carton of..." "Who did this?" " Somebody thought..." " Who?" "Doesn't matter." "Thought it would be a good idea to have copies of that Time cover available at everyone's seat." "It was nipped in the bud, and all the copies are being taken out of the building, so, problem solved." "This isn't a Macintosh." "I understand." "Somebody thought it would be a good idea to, like, enthusiastically hand over copies of Time with a not-a-Macintosh on the cover at the launch of the Macintosh?" "What are they handing out at Hewlett-Packard?" "A bushel of apples with my face on them?" " I'm sure the thinking was..." " Yeah?" "...that since the computer is Man of the Year that that's good for our business, but like I said, I'm having them removed from the building." "What I'd like you to do with them is to take them, all 2,600 copies, and stack them on Kottke's desk, and tell him Steve says, "Happy New Year to you ."" "Okay." "I gave Time magazine full access, the whole campus." "Bandley, Apple II, Lisa." "I gave him Sculley, Markkula." "I gave him Woz, I gave him everybody." "What should I call the person who thought it would be a good idea to hand these out?" "I'm not telling you who it was." "It was done without malice, it's been taken care of." "You have a half hour, and we have things to talk about." "Like what?" "Like a million in the first 90 days." "Joanna... 20,000 a month after that." "Look." "Those are the forecasts." "I'm begging you." "Because this is my field," "I'm begging you to manage expectations out there." "I'm fanning expectations." "We're not gonna sell a million in the first 90 days." "Everyone, everyone, everyone." "Everyone is waiting for the Mac." "Maybe." "But what happens when they find out that for $2,495, there's nothing you can do with it?" "We were competitive at $1,500, but once you replaced the Motorola 6809 with the 68000..." "Which is what supports menus, windows, point and click, high-res graphics..." "Yeah, because everyone needs rectangles with rounded corners." "Coach lands on the runway at the exact same time as first class." "I don't have the first fucking idea what that means, but this is how it got to $2,500, which is the price point on the PC, which can do a lot more!" "Who's gonna want a PC?" "What idiot is gonna want..." "If I wanna tell you there's a spot on your shirt, I point to the spot." "I don't say there's a spot 14 centimeters down from the collar and three centimeters to the right of the second button, while I try to remember what the command is for club soda." "That's not how a person's mind works." "If the goal was ease of use, maybe you should've given it some memory." "You can complain about memory, or you can complain about price, but you can't do both at the same time." "Memory is what costs money." "And I'm glad you're telling me your feelings about the Mac now because we have a half hour left." "We can redesign it." "I'm just asking you to manage expectations." "Look at their faces when they see what it is." "They won't know what they're looking at or why they like it, but they'll know they want it." "Not instantly." "When people heard Rite of Spring, they tore the chairs out of the theater, they didn't buy the record." "Rite of Spring happens to be the most revolutionary and provocative symphony of the last century." " Ballet." " It was a ballet." "But Igor Stravinsky didn't say he was gonna sell 20,000 units a month." "I don't know why we're talking about Stravinsky, when what I care about is Dan Kottke sodomizing me in Time magazine." "Look." "Obviously..." "Let me say this." "Obviously, Daniel didn't think he was doing anything wrong." "By talking to Time about it?" "Yeah." "I don't know what that means." "You said, when you told me the story." ". ." "You said, you said to Dan," ""Did Time magazine ask you if I had a daughter named Lisa?"" "And Dan said, "Yeah."" "My point was that he answered you simply and honestly because he didn't think he'd done anything wrong." "Except, Joanna, except," "I don't have a daughter named Lisa." "And this story is now about how I'm denying paternity and took a blood test." "And that's why there's a picture of..." "I don't know what the fuck that is." "That's why there's a picture of a PC on the cover instead of a picture of me and the Mac." "I don't know what to tell you." "I was supposed to be Time magazine's Man of the Year." "And then Dan Kottke was born." "Well..." "What?" "She's waiting for you." "Who?" "Chrisann." "Brennan?" "They're out in the hall." "They've been sitting in the back of the auditorium since 7:00 this morning." "I'm not having a session with Chrisann right now." "We issued 335 press credentials for the launch." "Steve, you piss off Chrisann, she's gonna stand in the lobby and give 335 interviews, and you, pal, will be longing for the halcyon days of Dan Kottke." "Let me get this over with." "But don't leave." "You're gonna stay here." "What?" "No, I'm not." "No." "There's less of a chance of a scene if you stay here, she'll be cool." "I find all this excruciatingly personal and..." "I'm not staying." "Come on." "I don't wanna be in a room alone with Chrisann." "This is me and you." "Fine." "Hey." "Steve." "This is a surprise." "Why don't you come on in?" "Thank you." "You coming too?" "Yes, I'm not gonna leave her in the hallway." "Okay." "It's a safe hallway, but anyway." "You remember Joanna Hoffman?" "She's the head of marketing for the Mac." "Good to see you." "Nice to see you." "Hello, Lisa." "We've met before, and you told me you like the way I talk, and that was my favorite thing anyone's ever said to me." "You're from Poland." "Yes, I am." "Do you know where that is?" "The top of the Earth." "I think you're thinking of the North Pole." "Well, we're a little pressed for time, so..." "I'll leave you guys alone." "Why do you wanna leave when you just said..." "I'm gonna check in with Hertzfeld." "We're trying to get a computer to say "Hello,"" "but right now it's being very shy." "Would you come help me?" "Is that okay?" "Sure." "Thank you." "My dad named a computer after me." "I'm not your..." "Actually, do you know what a coincidence is, Lisa?" "No." "Like if you met someone." "You made a new friend and her name was Lisa, too." "That would be a coincidence." ""Lisa" stands for "local integrated systems architecture."" "L-I-S-A." "It's a coincidence." "You about done?" " Yeah." " Okay." "Come." "Let's make that computer say "Hi."" "Go ahead, Lisa." "So it was the other way around." "I was named after the computer?" "Nothing was named after anybody." "It's a coincidence." "Come on." "What's the matter with you?" "What's the matter with you?" "Why are you telling her these things?" "Why are you still telling her I'm her father?" "A judge told her you're her father." "No, he didn't." "And where the hell do you get off telling Time magazine I've slept with 28% of the men in America?" "That's not..." "Where do you get off?" "That's not remotely what I said." "It's right here." "First of all, can I tell you something about Time magazine?" "I believe it's a training facility for paid assassins." ""Jobs insists," I am quoting..." "I didn't invent math." ""28% of the male population of the United States could be the father."" "I wasn't saying you've slept with 28% of American men." "I was using an algorithm based on the blood test, which said there was a 94.1% chance that I'm the father." "You're trying to publicly paint me as a slut and a whore." "Believe me, I'm not trying to publicly do anything with you." "Two million people read Time." "How am I supposed..." "It would be more if they'd put me on the cover, but Dan Kottke decided to kidney-punch me." "I applied for welfare yesterday." " I'm sorry?" " Hello!" "I said I applied for welfare yesterday." "The Time article said your Apple stock was worth $441 million." "And I wanted to ask you how you felt about that." "Well, I feel like Apple stock has been dramatically undervalued." "This would be a good time to get in." "Your daughter and her mother..." " Chrisann." " ...are on welfare." "We're living in a hovel in Menlo Park." "We can't pay the heating bills." "She sleeps in a parka." "Your daughter..." "She's not my daughter!" "Because, as reported by Time magazine," "I've slept with 28% of the men in America?" " No." " All of them, exactly nine months before Lisa was born!" "I've got Andy here." "Excuse me." "We're there?" "Hey, Chris." " Hey, Andy." " How are you doin'?" "Terrible." "You guys caught up now?" "Excuse me for saying hello to my friend who thinks you're a dick." "I don't think you're a..." "We're there?" "No." "It's got a one-in-six chance of working." "God damn it." "We're not a pit crew at Daytona." "This can't be fixed in seconds." "You didn't have seconds, you had three weeks." "The universe was created in a third of that time." "Well, someday you'll have to tell us how you did it." "Here's what I'm gonna do." "I'm gonna announce the names of everyone who designed the launch demo." "I'm gonna introduce everyone and ask them to stand up." "The bag was designed by Susan Kare." "The Macintosh font that's scrolling across the screen was designed by Steve Capps." "The starry night and skywriting was Bruce Horn." "MacPaint, MacWrite, Alice..." "Down to the calculator." "And then I'm gonna say, the voice demo that didn't work was designed by Andy Hertzfeld." "Steve..." "Five in six is your chance of surviving the first round of Russian roulette, and you've reversed those odds." "So unless you wanna be disgraced in front of your friends, family, colleagues, stockholders, and the press," "I wouldn't stand here arguing." "I'd go try and get some more bullets out of the gun." "Do it, Andy!" "Stop." "You." "What size shirt do you wear?" "Me?" "Does anyone know what size shirt he wears?" "Does anyone know what size shirt I wear?" "Does anyone know where the closest psychiatrist is?" "The disk fits in your pocket." "I need a shirt with a breast pocket, I can take it out onstage." " A shirt?" " The disk!" "I need a white shirt in my size with a breast pocket." "Yes." "Which one of the no stores that are open at 8:45 do you want me to have someone run to and return from in 15 minutes?" "Go out in the lobby, find someone my size who's wearing a white shirt, tell them I'll trade them for a free computer, and they get to keep my shirt." "Does it have to be a white shirt?" "Is blue okay?" " No." "The Mac is beige," " I'm beige, the disk is blue, the shirt has to be white." "Andy?" "Hello, I'm Macintosh." "Bring me the head of Andy Hertzfeld." "I tried to get it to say, "Hello," but it's shy." "Yeah." "So that's it?" "That's it." "I don't get it." "I know." "What are people going to do with it?" "Lisa, how old are you now?" "You know how old she is." "How old are you, Lisa?" "Five." "Come sit here for a minute." "Do you know what this is?" "It's a computer." "Can I borrow your hand for a second?" "Point that arrow and click." "You don't have to, but if you want, you can play with it." "Nothing you can do will break it, so just do whatever you want with it." "What are you doing?" "I'm paying you exactly what the court ordered me to pay you." "$385 a month." "I'm not the one who decided on that amount." "And I'm asking you how you feel." "If you feel all right." "If it feels all right to you that your daughter..." "She's not my..." "That your daughter and her mother are on welfare while you're worth $441 million for making that." "I'm proud to say Apple donates computers to underfunded schools, and we'll be doing more of the same with the Mac..." "What?" "Apple donates millions of dollars' worth of computers to schools." "What does that have to do with..." "Imagine an underprivileged kid that has their favorite teacher with them 24 hours." "We're minutes away from being able to do that." "In your head, was that an answer to my question?" "Tell me the question again." "I wasn't the one who sued you for child support." "No, let..." "San Mateo County sued you." "No, let me explain what happened, because I have plenty of time right now." " Excuse me." " You have a visitor." "Just wanted to say good luck!" "Hey, Chrisann." "Hello, Woz." "Hang on." "Just wanted to say good luck." "Thanks." "You, too." " It's a big morning." " Yeah." "You should see this crowd out there." "This crowd, it's like, um..." "I can't really wait for you to come up with a metaphor, man." "Yeah." "So, uh, listen, I want to ask you a favor." "Yeah?" "Can you acknowledge the Apple II team in your remarks?" "I cannot." "Just an acknowledgment." "Have them stand up." "We're launching the Mac." "It'd be a morale booster, just a mention so they could get a round of applause." " Woz..." " Just a mention." "Can we stick a pin in this for a minute?" " Sure, yep." " Thank you." "Just talking about an acknowledgment for the team." "I've got Chrisann in there." "I'll see you in just a second." "Yep." "That." "What?" "You asked me what people are gonna do with it." "They're gonna do that." "One of the engineers." "Thank you." "Do you like it?" "I'm sorry?" "It's an abstract." "You used MacPaint." "Push that key and the "S" at the same time." "Now type your name." "Do you know which box says "Save"?" "Right." "Go ahead and click on it." "I'll put some money in your account." "And buy you a new house, someplace near a decent school." "Thank you." "Woz wants a minute." "And Sculley's asking for you." "We're done?" "Could you teach me more things?" "On the computer?" "Lisa, wait for me in the hall, please." "You can put your coat on in the hall." "Bye, Lisa." "Bye." "Lisa, in the hall." "Now." "I just wanna know, when you say you're gonna put money in my account, how much we're talking about." "It's a school day." "She needs to be in school." "I'm gonna give you whatever you need." "Woz wants me to acknowledge the Apple II team." "You must be able to see that she looks like you." "I don't want to insult Woz." "I just think it's backward-looking at exactly the wrong moment." "I know you heard what I said." "I heard what you said, Joanna." "It's just, we're about to do this thing." "At 9:41, the planet's gonna shift on its axis, nigh and forever." "Two most significant events of the 20th century." "The Allies win the War, and this." "This." "So maybe right now isn't the very best time to scold me for not being a better father to a kid who's not my kid." "The test said I..." "I don't care what the test said." "I don't care about 94.1%, or the insane algorithm you used to get to 28% of American men." "I'm buying her a new house." "I'm giving her money." "There's a small girl who believes you're her father." "That's all ." "That's all the math there is." "She believes it." "What are you gonna do about that?" "God sent his only son on a suicide mission, but we like him anyway because he made trees." "We're gonna sell a million units in the first 90 days, 20,000 a month after that." "So maybe you could give me a break, Ms. Hoffman?" "Woz." "Hey." "There's nothing in that vending machine that won't kill you." "Just browsing." "Let's take a walk." "Can I tell you something?" "Yeah." "After the meeting in Maui, the Apple II team was upset and angry and down, and do you know why?" "Because the Apple II wasn't mentioned even once?" "The Apple II wasn't mentioned..." "Yes, that's it." "You have it, yes." "That wasn't an oversight." "They know that." "They know it wasn't." "Look, I don't wanna make a big deal out of this..." "That's entirely within your power." "The Apple II is..." "The Apple II is what was, my friend." "The Apple II is what pays the bills around here and has for seven years." "And if you embarrass these people, you are going to see a brain drain at this company, my brother." "Markkula took you off the Lisa, not them and not me, so don't blame..." "Markkula took me off the Lisa because of his strong religious objection to making it good." "Now, I gave you everything you wanted on the Apple II." "You don't ask for a lot?" "There wasn't a single fight you lost." "Do you concede the slots are the reason for the success of the Apple II?" "We can't possibly still be talking about the slots." "I have a point." "It's been seven years." "The eight slots on the Apple II..." "You're still doing it, you're talking about the slots." "There's something wrong with you." "This argument started in the garage." "What are you talking about?" "Why would you only want two slots?" "A printer and a modem." "With eight slots, you..." "This is a huge deal that we were able to add eight slots." "I appreciate the engineering, but it's not what we're doing." " And thank God I won that argument." " Woz." "...because the open system is what people love about the machine, and it's why it sold and still sells." "An open system." "We're not doing an open system." "Of course we are." "That's what people want, and the breakthrough on the Apple II..." "People don't know what they want until you show it to them." "Serious users want to customize, they wanna modify, they wanna jack it up." "They want hardware engineers like me to expand its capabilities, okay?" "Keyboards for music, better sound board, better display boards, improved memory cards." "And it's why there are 3,000 people here right now." "The slots are what allowed the Apple II to run, for just one example, VisiCalc, which, from my guess, single-handedly sold between 200,000 and 300,000 machines." "They want slots." "They don't get a vote." "When Dylan wrote Shelter from the Storm, he didn't ask people to contribute to the lyrics." "Plays don't stop so the playwright can ask the audience what scene they'd like to see next." "Painters..." "We're on the verge of a tectonic..." "Hobbyists are..." "Hobbyists?" "A printer and a modem, two slots." "The Apple II team has my affection, but I'm not loving up a 7-year-old product at the Mac launch." "Computers aren't paintings." "Fuck you." "I'm gonna say "fuck you" every time you say that until you either die or stop." " Steve..." " Try it." " Steve." " Say it." "Computers aren't paintings." "Fuck you." "Yes, they are, and what I want is a closed system." "End-to-end control." "Completely incompatible with anything." "Computers aren't supposed to have human flaws." "I'm not going to build this one with yours." "Steve!" "Hey." "Today is about the Macintosh." "And the Mac is mine." "I give you that." " Thank you." " I give you that." "Just publicly acknowledge the Apple II team because it's the right thing to do." "We'll know soon enough if you are Leonardo da Vinci or just think you are, but in the meantime, it would be great..." "In the meantime, the Apple II is done." "Seven years." "It was a great run." "You should go out in the house and take your seat." "The Mac is Jef Raskin's." "Say it for me." " Computers aren't..." " Fuck you." "All right." " We're there?" " I need more time." "You can't have it." " Twenty minutes." " It's 8:58." "We can start late." "Hear me." "We're a computer company." "We can't start late." " Then I have another idea." " What?" "It's deceptive and borderline unethical." "I'm listening." "It'll run on the 512." " You tested it?" " Yeah." "Wait." "You're gonna demo a 128 computer on a 512?" "Nobody's gonna know." "And you think that's "borderline" unethical?" "Name my other choices, please." "Please, you have to tell me why it's so important for it to say "Hello."" "Hollywood, they made computers scary things." "See how this reminds you of a friendly face?" "That the disk slot is a goofy grin?" "It's warm and it's playful, and it needs to say "Hello."" "It needs to say "Hello" because it can." "We're not committing fraud." "The 512 is gonna ship in under a year." "Will you absolve me of your Eastern European disapproval?" "The computer in 2001 said "Hello" all the time, and it still scared the shit out of me." "Absolve me." "Just for this." "And just for now." "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome founding board member, Mike Markkula." "All right." "Okay." "Go make a dent in the universe, Steven." "See you in a couple of hours." "And I'm going to take us through the formal part of the meeting." "The legal part, if you will." "Thank merciful God." "The cavalry's shown up." "Because I hear you've been worse than usual this morning." "I didn't think that was possible, so I've been dispatched as the "Steve Whisperer."" "This is a '55 Margaux." "It's 9:00 in the morning." "This is a '55 Margaux." "Is it my imagination, or have you started to dress like me?" "It was a bad idea to have Markkula open with quarterly reports." "Instead we should have just dropped water on the audience." "Just big 10,000-gallon tanks of cold water, dropped from the ceiling." "Save Mike some money on index cards." "Oh, just relax." "Why?" "I don't know." "No one's ever asked me that question." "There you go." "You're the only one who sees the world the same way I do." "No one sees the world the same way you do." "I'm like Julius Caesar, John." "I'm surrounded by enemies." "No, you're not." "The board..." "Oh, "The board ." The board's behind you." "Only because you see to it they are." "Oh, I think it's a good board, but if you want me to push them out one by one, we can talk about that." "I want you to push them out all at once through a window, if it's the nearest exit." "The look on their faces when we showed them the spot." "I couldn't see their faces, because they were banging their heads on the table." "Yesterday, the day after it airs once, the publisher of Adweek calls it the best commercial of all time." "Of all time!" "And it is." "And if anyone does one better, it's gonna be Chiat/Day, who the board wanted to replace, and it's gonna be Lee Clow, who the board thought was out of his mind." "Ladies and gentlemen, 1984." "We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology where each worker may bloom secure from the pests of any contradictory true thoughts." "Our unification of thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on Earth." "We are one people..." "Did we use skinheads as extras?" "A couple of people have told me that." "Yeah." "We paid skinheads?" "I've got skinheads on my payroll?" "They had a look you wanted." " The skinheads?" " Yeah." "Okay, let's keep that to ourselves." "We shall prevail!" "On January 24th," "Apple Computer will introduce Macintosh." "Who else knows?" "Who else knows what?" "That we paid terrorists to be in our TV commercial." "John." "They were wrong about the ad, but they're a good board." "Good people." "Their only problem..." "Their problem is that they're people." "People." "The very nature of people is something to be overcome." "When I was running Pepsi, we had a lot of success focusing on 18-to 55-year-olds who weren't members of violent hate groups." "I get it." "You're not surrounded by enemies." "We're almost there." "I'm back and forth on the Dylan." "I might quote a different verse." "What are the choices?" ""For the loser now will be later to win," which is what we have." "Or?" ""Come mothers and fathers throughout the land," ""and don't criticize what you can't understand." ""Your sons and your daughters..."" ""...are beyond your command ."" "I just lost a hundred bucks to Andy Hertzfeld." "He said you'd change it to that verse." "We got 45 seconds." "I want to use it to ask you a question." "Why do people who are adopted feel like they were rejected instead of selected?" "That came out of nowhere." ""Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command." ""Your old road is rapidly aging."" "So go fuck yourself, because my name is Steve Jobs, and "the times they are a-changing ."" "I don't feel rejected." " You're sure?" " Very sure." "Because it's not like the baby is born and the parents look and say," ""Nah, we're not interested in this one."" "On the other hand, someone did choose you." "It's having no control." "You find out you were out of the loop when the most crucial events in your life were set in motion." "As long as you have control." "I don't understand people who give it up." "What inspired Hertzfeld to make that bet?" "He was warning me that being your father figure could be dangerous." "Keep your 100 bucks." "I'm sticking with the first verse." "Good." "What the hell does he mean?" "Nothing." "I'm proud of you." "Thank you, boss." "It's my pleasure to introduce my friend and the CEO of Apple," "John Sculley." " John?" " Yeah?" "Lisa made a painting on the Mac." "The Macintosh, Apple's near-mythological home computer, has gotten off to a rocky start in its battle with industry titan IBM." "With sales originally projected to be 1,000,000 in the first quarter," "Apple has sold only 35,000 of the user-friendly machines." "The insistence by Steve Jobs that it'd have what's called "end-to-end control,"" "which is a way of saying that it's not compatible with most outside hardware or software is the Shakespearean flaw in a machine that had potential." "Apple Computers closed two of its factories today in the wake of disappointing sales." "Do you know how many Macs were sold last month?" "500." "In a move that surprised some, but not all, on Wall Street, the board of directors of Apple Computers voted today to fire its co-founder, Steve Jobs." "Did he jump, or was he pushed?" "His ex-boss, Apple CEO John Sculley, refused to comment." "However, in an exclusive interview," "Steve Wozniak has slammed the integrity of his old friend Steve Jobs." "He calls Jobs "an insulting and hurtful guy."" "Jobs is hitting back with a new company and a new computer." "Apple has a new competitor." "Steve Jobs' Black Cube is aimed at the education market." "Few people have the ability to make the world wait, but that is just what Jobs is doing with his new company, NeXT." "Focus seems kind of sharp." "On the slide?" "The floor." "The pin spot." "I think we want a sharp focus." "Don't take it personally." "Just not a fan of the circus aesthetic." "All right, let's hold here." "We're gonna have to go up and refocus the instruments." "Just one, the 30 is fine." "While we're holding, there are well-wishers in the VIP room." "And Woz is here." "Steve Wozniak." "Yes, hey, thank you very much." "And Andy Hertzfeld." " Andy Hertzfeld." " Thank you." "John Sculley is here, too." "It's nice that he's here." "Really?" "I don't think it's very nice at all." "You have to see them." "They wanna pay their respects." "If they were respectful, we'd all still be at Apple right now." "Look..." "If they really wished me well, they'd keep it to themselves." "Can I tell you something?" "I don't think they do wish me well." "But I'm all right with that." "I'm over Apple." "I got over the Mac, and Woz and Sculley, the same way you get over your high-school sweetheart." "Build a new one." " Can I tell you something?" " Yes." "You said you wouldn't compete with them, but you designed a computer specifically for the education market, which they putatively own." "So, I think it's cool they're here." "They're suing me." "Still." "It was nice they came." "They're not being magnanimous." "They want it to look like an amicable divorce." "History doesn't remember Joe DiMaggio kindly for dumping Marilyn." "Steve." "What's your problem?" "I don't know, but I'm sure it can be traced back to you." "You know, I'm the one who has to explain you to people." "$100,000 to Paul Rand for a corporate logo, when we didn't even know what our company made." "A $650,000 mold for the Cube because God forbid the angles be 90.1 instead of 90." "I forbid the angles to be 90.1 instead of 90." "That box could be on display at the Guggenheim." "Don't give them reason to say to the press you have a chip on your shoulder." "Will you do that for me?" "I don't have a chip on my shoulder." "Okay, okay." "But don't give them a reason to say you do." "I don't." "That's the right attitude." "That's not an attitude." "They're gonna call me back in a minute to look at the light." "Get one out of the way." "Fine!" " Yeah?" " Yeah." "One more thing." "Sure." "No questions from the press after." "No?" "Why?" "Until I have better answers, no press avail." "If somebody asks where I am, you just saw me, and I'll be right back." "Okay." "Who do you want first?" "Bring me the face of Steve Wozniak." "Hang on." "I thought you went to school." "Hang on." "You were supposed to go to school an hour ago." "I thought you left." "I didn't wake up my mom on time this morning." "It's happened before, too." "I wake up with the alarm, and then I get dressed and eat breakfast, but sometimes I forget to see what time it is after that." "Why doesn't your mom just set her own alarm clock?" "It's one of my chores." "I don't understand what that has to do with why you're still..." "Where's your mother?" "She went to find a payphone." "An hour ago, she said..." "You don't have to raise your hand." "You said it was off by a little." "It is." "I just measured it." "Joanna..." "Exactly a foot on all four sides." "There are six sides." "But you're not supposed be here right now." "We know if four of the sides are equal to each other, the other two must be equal as well." "The top, bottom, right, and left are about a millimeter shorter than the front and back." "They're not, I measured them." "Lisa, I'm kind of an expert in design." "And that's a 20-cent ruler." "You think there's a chance it could be off?" "If I had another ruler, I would measure this ruler, but I really doubt it's off." "When your mother comes back, you have to go to school." "Because it's a ruler!" "Why is it off?" "Did you hear what I just said?" "Yes." "Because sometimes it seems like you just keep saying what you want without listening." "I'm listening." "Is there something you need?" "No." "Why isn't it a perfect cube?" "You've asked me before." "I forget what it is." "It's an optical anomaly." "To the human eye, a perfect cube doesn't look like a cube, so we made it roughly a millimeter shorter than a foot on two sides." "What's an anomaly?" "You've asked me that before, too." "I don't know why you keep doing that." "It's an exception." "Something that doesn't fit a pattern." "You have to go to school." "Come in!" "I think you two have met." "Hello, old friend." " You look well." " So do you." "So do you." "And they're telling me George is ready for you to look at the focus." "Take a walk with me." " Is this Lisa?" " Yeah." " This can't be Lisa." " It is." "Lisa's this big." "They get taller." "Come on." " Do you remember me?" " She doesn't." "I'm your dad's friend, Steve Wozniak." "I apologize, I don't remember you." "You're very polite." " Woz?" " Yeah." "Chrisann's at a payphone." "Would you find her?" "Yeah." " Good turnout." " Great turnout." "Yeah." ""Insanely great." Insanely great." "You know, this is the first time we haven't played for the same team." "It's like you're releasing your first solo album." "I appreciate your inviting me to the launch." "I just want to wipe the slate clean." "That's exactly what I want." "That's why I came backstage." "I want you to know I'll be out there with you." "Any chance I can get you to go out there instead of me?" " I love you, Steve." " I love you, too, Woz." "You know, some things were said." "They were." "They were said in public." "They were published." "Were you pressured to do it?" "Was I what?" "Check it out." "It's the orchestra pit for the San Francisco Opera." "Was I pressured to do it?" "I once met Seiji Ozawa at Tanglewood." "A thunderous conductor." "Godly artfulness and nuance." "And I asked him what exactly a conductor does that a metronome can't." "Surprisingly, he..." "He didn't beat the living shit out of you?" "That's right." "No, he said," ""The musicians play their instruments." ""I play the orchestra."" "That feels like something that sounds good, but doesn't mean anything." "Markkula, Sculley." "They ask you to slag me off in the press?" "I had reason to be angry." " Did they?" " Absolutely not." "But they asked you to talk." "Apple was under siege, you'd just left the company." "Someone had to talk to the press." "I'm right here, Woz." "The company left me." "I begged you." "I begged you." "The Apple II accounted for 70% of the revenue." "What did you think was gonna happen?" "You didn't care enough about the Apple II or the Lisa." "Let's be really clear." "I didn't care at all about the Apple II or the Lisa." "I wasn't pressured to do it." "What I said to the press was an honest, if tempered, reflection of what I believed." " Woz." " Yeah?" "What the fuck is on your wrist?" "You wanna know?" "I literally can't wait." "Everyone's gonna be wearing these in 10 years." "It's a Nixie Watch, made using Nixie tubes." "This is actually 40-year-old technology." "Cold-cathode tubes." "They're operating at 140 volts." "I tilt my wrist 45 degrees, it's right there." "Hours, minutes, and seconds." "The way our minds work." "Look at that." "Do me a favor." "Set the watch ahead like you're on a plane and just changed time zones." "Not a problem." "Unscrew that, just hit the button." "Excuse me, flight attendant, the man next to me would appear to be detonating a bomb." "You think this looks like a bomb." "Even right now, I'm not 100% sure it isn't." "I think maybe once people get used to it..." "No." "I was angry." "You were saying things about the Apple II, and the way you were treating the team..." "Woz." "You get a free pass for life." "I got to get back onstage." "We got, like, two minutes of rehearsal time left." "Do you understand how condescending that just was?" "Maybe you don't." "I don't want to see you get dragged off an airplane in plastic handcuffs." "I get a free pass for life from you?" "You give out the passes?" "You give them to me?" "You're gonna have a stroke, little buddy." "What did you do?" "Why has Lisa not heard of me?" "Shit, man, how many fourth-graders have heard of you?" "You can't write code." "You're not an engineer." "You're not a designer." "You can't put a hammer to a nail." "I built the circuit board." "The graphical interface was stolen from Xerox PARC." "Jef Raskin was the leader of the Mac team before you threw him off his own project." "Everything!" "Someone else designed the box." "So, how come 10 times in a day I read "Steve Jobs is a genius"?" "What do you do?" "I play the orchestra." "And you're a good musician." "You sit right there." "You're the best in your row." "I came here to clear the air!" "Do you know why I came here?" "Didn't you just answer that?" "I came here because you're gonna get killed." "Your computer's gonna fail." "You had a college and university advisory board telling you they need a powerful workstation for $2,000 to $3,000." "You've priced NeXT at $6,500." "And that doesn't include the optional $3,000 hard drive, which people will discover isn't optional." "Because the optical disk is too weak to do anything." "And the $2,500 laser printer brings the total to $12,000." "And, in the entire world, you are the only person who cares that it's housed in a perfect cube." "You're gonna get killed." "And I came here to stand next to you while that happens because that's what friends do." "That's what men do." "I don't need your "pass."" "We go back, so don't talk to me like I'm other people." "I'm the only one that knows that this guy here is someone you invented." "I'm standing by you because that perfect cube, that does nothing, is about to be the single biggest failure in the history of personal computing." "Tell me something else I don't know." "Back onstage?" "We're out of time." "They've got to mop the stage and open the house." "If it crashes, it crashes, right?" "You'll make a joke." "I'll make a joke." "If it crashes, it crashes." "It's a good slogan." ""NeXT." "If it crashes, it crashes."" "I'm not just talking about the demo, Steve." "If it tanks, we don't swallow cyanide." "We go back to the drawing board." "No more drawing boards." "Invent the Edsel twice, you don't get any more drawing boards." "Tell me what the plan is." "You have to tell me the plan, because I don't know." "You're walking around like you've got "can't lose" cards." "The plan will reveal itself to you when you're ready to see it." "Will I have to drop acid?" "Couldn't hurt." "Is there a plan?" "Have I ever let you down?" "Every single goddamn time." "Then I'm due." "Is there?" "Joanna, there's a plan." "I just don't wanna put you in a position where you're lying to people." "Start 15 minutes late so Avie can recompile and give us a fighting chance." "Jesus Christ!" "How many times are we gonna have this..." "We're not starting late ever!" "Fine!" "We're not ever starting late!" ""...ever starting late."" "But where do you come down on starting late?" "Lisa's been doing this thing where she asks me about stuff I've already told her." "She asks me questions, and I know she already knows the answers." "What's that about?" "Kids do that when they're scared one of their parents is in a bad mood." "They try to get you talking about something you like." "It's very common and can be treated by talking to her about things she likes." "Do you have any experience or training in this field?" "No." "Tell them to open the house." "Where's Lisa?" "She's around." "What does that mean?" "She's running around the building." "An hour ago, you said you were taking her to school." "She begged me to let her stay." "There are fathers who would so love..." "It is wrong, okay?" "It is morally wrong, it's parentally wrong." "It is wrong for you to use Lisa as a way of getting money from me." "She'll know, if she doesn't already, that that is your primary use for her." "And she will hate you for the rest of your life." "She will see, if she doesn't already, that her mother is a woman who stands up to men." "By living off of them." "By not letting myself be imprisoned and degraded by them." "Imprisoned?" "I can't get rid of you." "I need a doctor, and I need a dentist." "I dropped out of college after a semester, but, okay, let's have a look." "You will support your daughter and her mother." "Did you pay someone $1,500 to bless your house?" "Did you hear what I said?" "Did you?" "I don't remember how much it was, Steve." "It was $1,500." "They don't do it for free." " They don't." " They charge $1,500." "How I spend..." "Fuck." "You know what?" "I'm not even..." "Were you about to say, "How I spend my money is none of your business"?" "I have a sinus infection, and I need to see a dentist, too." "So you can see how your "blessing" budget could have been better spent." "Like on a perfect cube?" " Look at me, Chrisann." " What?" "You know who I am, right?" "Yes." "And you know I know people." "What are you talking about?" "Look at me." "And you know the people I know, they know people." "What is this?" "If I ever hear again that you've thrown a cereal bowl at Lisa's head..." "What?" "... my private line's gonna ring." "And a voice on the other end is gonna say, "We're all set."" "That's how I'll learn that you're dead." "Are you..." "I threw the bowl on the floor." "I didn't throw it at her head." "She wasn't even in the room!" "She was nowhere..." "I threw the bowl on the floor." "She's a little girl." "You're scaring her." "I'm a grown man." "You're scaring me." "Taking out the garbage is a chore." "Clearing the table is a chore." "Waking you up in the morning is just fucking creepy." "Please teach me more about being a parent." "We're all done here." "It means so much coming from someone who won't admit he is one." "Stop screaming at Lisa." "I give her responsibilities!" "Got it." "And one day she's gonna thank me for it!" "Probably in your sleep." "Fuck off!" "Okay." "I never..." "I never threw anything at her head!" "Steve..." "I never would." "Things don't become so because you say so." "There'll be more money in your account by the end of business." "Were you being nice?" "Oh, yeah." "Andy's next." "Hertzfeld or Cunningham?" "Hertzfeld." "He's playing with Avie Tevanian on the computer backstage." "Ladies and gentlemen, the house is now open." "...playing in front of thousands of people." "Steve!" "Can he do it later, Joel?" "We go in eight minutes." "Can I just get a quick reaction to the press this morning?" "What about it?" "The size of it, the volume." "I'll tell you on background..." "I was hoping for a quote from Steve." "I'll tell you on background that I've never seen anything like it in the tech industry." "I called The Wall Street Journal to take out a full-page ad for today, and do you know what their sales guy said?" ""Why bother?" "It'd be like notifying Macy's that tomorrow is Christmas."" "You saw the Stewart Alsop newsletter?" "I did." "I'm sorry, Joanna, I need to get Steve on the record." "The headline was, "Dear next, when can I get my machine?"" "When can he?" "We'll announce the ship date in the next eight to 10 weeks." "Alsop's not talking about the ship date." "He wants to know when he can get one to play with." "We have a lot of respect for Stewart Alsop, and we want to get a machine into his hands so he can tell his subscribers about it." " When will that be?" " Very soon." "A couple of days?" "A week?" "Off the record." " Off the record?" " Completely." "We think..." "He'll get it when it's finished." "It's not finished?" "It's almost finished." "I've been watching you rehearse the demo for three weeks." "Yeah." " What's left?" " A little thing." " What?" " I think that's..." "We're off the record, and Joel's always been good at understanding nuance." "What's left to finish?" "I guess, in layman's terms, you'd have to say we don't have an OS." " An operating system?" " Yeah." "What do you mean?" "Well, the OS is what runs the computer." "In fact, it sort of is the computer." "How has it been running?" "How's it gonna run this morning?" "What do you mean, you don't have an OS?" "It's like this." "Avie Tevanian is our Chief Software Designer, and he wrote a demo program." "It's like we built a great car, but we haven't built the engine." "So we put a golf-cart battery in there to make it go for a little bit." "All this computer knows how to do right now is demonstrate itself." "You're telling me the only thing you've built is a black cube?" "Yes." "Yeah." "But isn't it the coolest black cube you've ever seen?" " Is this..." " We're off the record." "Is this a strategy or a problem , because if it's a problem..." "Do not share proprietary knowledge with that man." "It's not a problem." "I wouldn't understand it anyway." "I don't understand it either, and my name's on the patents." "It's got email." "Well, email's not just for tech specialists anymore." "Well, it is, but it won't be." "And I assume an email sent on a NeXT computer can only be received by a NeXT computer?" "Closed, end-to-end." "The new trash can is wrong." "I wanna tell you I appreciate all the hours you put into it, but I can't because of how terrible it is." "Go back to the other one." "And why are we still giving three options on the clock?" "How many options do you wanna give?" "Two. "Buy it" or "Don't."" "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Abso-fruitly." "Uh, look, man," "Avie's been recompiling, but he says there may be some glitches this morning." "If all there are, are some glitches, it'll be a triumph of miraculous magnitude." "Why are you translating for Avie?" "I didn't want him to find out the hard way your position on glitches in a demo, but it sounds like you've mellowed." "I've been growing, Andy." "I've been learning to love myself." "Mmm, I wouldn't have ever dreamed that was a problem." "Fantastic burn." "You need to go to your seat." "How about Lisa, getting into a school for gifted kids?" "Yeah, she was tested, and it turns out she can fly." "But, seriously, it's a big deal." "I know it's a big deal ." "That's why I built the school a building." "Well, I'm sure that's not why she got in." "Really?" "Can I show you something funny from Macworld?" "I can't think of anything I have to do right now." "It'll make you feel good." "Joanna!" "Look at this!" "Oh, Andy, he's only got a couple of minutes." "It's Guy Kawasaki writing in Macworld." "You're gonna like this." "Well, can we all enjoy it later?" "He wrote a parody press release about Apple buying next for your OS." "He imagines a near future, where Apple needs your OS and has to buy next, and you come back as CEO." "He has Gates saying, "There would now be more innovations from Jobs" ""that Microsoft could copy."" "You can read it later." "Thanks." "She would've gotten in without you donating a building." "Still, it's something to talk about in the interview." "All right." "Good luck." "Thanks." "Give that to me." "I'll throw it out for you." "I'm gonna hang on to it." "What?" "What?" "You ready for Sculley?" "Excuse me!" "Lisa!" "You can't shout!" "Lisa?" "You have to go." "It's dangerous up here." "That's why I make other people do it." "Who are you hiding from, me or your mom?" "I'm not hiding." "Let's go." "What were you listening to?" "I'm listening to two versions of the same song." "And then, when I get to the end," "I rewind to listen to them again." "It's the same song, but the versions are different." " What's the song?" " Okay." "So, it's a really old song, and it's called Both Sides, Now." ""Both Sides, Now"?" "Yeah." "What's it about?" "It's about..." "There are three verses." "Clouds, love, and life." "And the person singing is singing that they used to think of..." "That they used to think about..." "Clouds, love, and life?" "Right." "One way, yeah, but now they look at them another way, and they..." "They've come to the conclusion that they really don't know clouds, love, or life at all." "Those are the exact words." "Yeah, Joni Mitchell, 'cause it's not a really old song, unless I'm a really old guy." "You have to go to school now." "Do you want me to tell you the differences between the two versions?" "Right now." "The first version is the kind of thing that you would call girlish." "I didn't mean I want to know the difference right now." "I meant you have to go to school right now." "I can stay and watch." "You are truant." "You're committing a crime." "I'm not gonna miss anything important." "How do you know?" "I read ahead." "The Pilgrims make it to the New World." "Then, the Declaration of Independence." "Yeah, you skipped a couple of centuries." "Steve?" "Chrisann's out there." "Let's go!" "Can I make my case for staying?" "Nope." "She was with me." "Come on." "Your dad doesn't want us to stay." "That's not true." "That's not..." "You have to be in school, is all." "I'm committing a crime right now, and I don't wanna get in trouble." "You're not in trouble." "I was kidding." "Okay." "Hey." "What was the second version?" "You said the first version was girlish, what was the second version?" "I can't really think of the word." "Okay." "Well, have a good day at school." ""Regretful."" "What?" "Like, wishing you could go back and do things different." "You're too young to be regretful." "Not me." "The person singing the song." "Got it. "Regretful." That makes sense because..." "I wanna live with you." "Six minutes." " You want to see Sculley?" " No." "You know all those times I told you, you needed security?" "Here's why." "I don't know how it is I've gotten older and you haven't." "Some deal with the devil I was never offered." "So, you know what I've been thinking for the last four years?" "As it turns out, John, I've never known what you were thinking." "No newborn baby has control." "Do you know what I'm talking about?" "In '84, before the Mac launch." "You said..." "Yeah." "You said that being adopted meant you didn't have control." "We're starting in a minute, so..." "Why do people think I fired you?" "It's fine, John." "It's all behind us." "Is it?" "Hmm?" "Don't play stupid." "You can't pull it off." "You came here to ask me why people think you fired me?" "Why do people think I fired you?" "Just confirm something for me, okay?" "You liked the ad." "Right?" "The commercial, 1984." "You liked it." "When are you gonna get furniture?" "It's not an easy process." "It is." "You buy a couch, take it from there." "I'd be really surprised if you came here to talk about interior decorating." "I liked the ad very much." " You did?" " You know I did." "You're a lying son of a bitch who tried to kill it." "It's time to take a hard look at the Mac." "It's past time." "It's overpriced." "We need to drop it to $1,995." "We need to double the marketing budget, put more bodies on an internal hard drive and invest in FileServer." "Where the hell did you get the idea that I tried to kill..." " Lee Clow." " Lee's wrong." " He's lying?" " He's mistaken." "Where would the money come from?" "It would come from finally getting rid of the Apple II." "The Apple II is the only thing making money." "You agreed with the board." "I understood the board's concerns, but I..." "The board's concerns that we didn't show the product?" "Among other things, but my question was..." "What other things?" "Honestly, I'm just asking 'cause I'm curious." "You said "among other things."" "Among other things." "It was set in a dystopian galaxy." "It took place on a planet where we don't live." "It was dark, and the opposite of our brand." "And we didn't show the product." "People talked about the ad, but most of them didn't know what we were selling." "The Mac needs to sell for $1,995." "There is no market research telling us that the Mac is failing because it's overpriced." "It's telling us that people don't like it because they think it doesn't do anything." "It's closed, end-to-end." "We didn't know it wasn't what people wanted, but it isn't." "They want slots, they want choices, they want options." "The way we buy stereos, mix and match components." "John, listen to me." "Whoever said the customer is always right was," "I promise you, a customer." "It had skinheads in it." "She was liberating them." "Liberating the skinheads." "The ad didn't have anything to do with fucking skinheads!" "We used them as fucking extras." "Nobody even knows they were skinheads!" "I'm just saying, the board had concerns..." "You invented lifestyle advertising." "And "our brand" was my brand." "My job is to make a recommendation to the board." "We showed a lot of happy people drinking Pepsi." "We didn't say the world was going to end if you bought a Dr. Pepper!" "Recommend that we drop the price and double the marketing budget." "I can't." "And we showed the product!" "We showed it being opened, we showed it being poured, being consumed!" "What are you gonna do?" "Recommend that we kill the Mac?" "I already have, Steve." "What?" "When?" "You think the secret to your success was not assuming people knew what to do with a can of soda?" "I didn't kill the ad, Steve!" "I'm the only reason it made it on the air!" "Just now." "An hour ago, I'm coming from Markkula's house." "What did he say?" "What did he say?" "Invent something new." "I'll give you a team, you can sit in Maui." "The resorts come with couches." "Wait a minute." "Are you saying you recommended terminating the Mac?" "Or you recommended taking me off the Mac team?" "We bought three spots in the Super Bowl." "Two 30s and a 60." "And after we screened it, the board wanted that money back, and they asked me to sell off the spots." "Chiat/Day sold off the two 30s, but not the 60, and I let it be known to Lee Clow that if he didn't try very hard to sell the last spot, I wouldn't be unhappy." "If we drop the price and double the budget..." "You can't drop the price or double the budget!" "I mean, the only way to do that is to take money out of the Apple II." "The Apple II should embarrass you." "It embarrasses me." "It doesn't embarrass the shareholders." "I don't give a shit about the shareholders!" "That's why I hired you, so I don't ever have to hear about shareholders!" "The shareholders are my problem, and the board represents the shareholders!" "That's how it works!" "You sure it wasn't Lee Clow who dragged his feet selling the 60?" "At my direction, Steve." "You think he would have done that on his own, taken it on himself?" "Yeah." "I think he would've done what it took to save it from you." "I was the only thing protecting it!" "You didn't want the ad because you were trying to kill the Mac two months before it launched!" "You are fucking delusional!" "Can I mention something to you?" "Sure." "I have no earthly idea why you're here." "The story of why and how you left Apple, which is quickly becoming mythologized, isn't true." "I'm gonna take this to the board myself." " Don't do that." " I am doing that." "You can't." "Why?" "They believe you're no longer necessary to this company." "I get hate mail." "Death threats." "I get death threats!" "My kids are getting taunted." "Why do people think I fired you?" "Joanna's gonna call my name in a second." " Steve?" " That was unrehearsed." "Yeah, I'll be there in just a second!" "I gave you your day in court." "You "gave" me?" "I gave the board a clear choice." "I said, "Do you want to invest in the Apple II or the Mac?"" "And they chose the Apple II." "The same people who wanted to dump the Super Bowl spot." "And then I got on a plane to China." "Mr. Sculley, there's a call for you on Line 1." "Or I almost got on a plane, because I got a call in the lounge." "Who made that call?" "Doesn't matter." "It matters to me." "Who made the call?" "John Sculley." "John, if you get on that plane, you'll have lost your job by the time it lands." "Steve's been calling the board." "He wants you out." "I left my bags on the plane." "My shit's still somewhere in Beijing." "I took a car back to Cupertino in the middle of the fucking night." "I know what time it is." "I need a quorum here in one hour, and I want Steve here, too." "You took me off the Mac, and it was bad business." "The quorum call was a homicide." "Right there!" "That's the part that's bullshit, my friend." "It was a suicide, because you knew your cards, and I showed you mine." "I showed you mine, and you did it anyway." "What did you think I was going to do?" "I'm okay losing, but I'm not gonna forfeit." "I'm not okay losing." "We're losing market share, and the Mac is losing money." "Our only hope is the Apple II, which is stagnating because of its soon-to-be obsolete DOS." "Users are already rigging their machines to run with a CP/M operating system that's been built to run on Intel." "I can't put it more simply than this." "We need to put our resources into updating the Apple II." "By taking resources from the Mac." " It's failing." " That's a fact." "It's overpriced." "There's no evidence that it's..." "I'm the evidence!" "I'm the world's leading expert on the Mac, John." "What's your resume?" "You're issuing contradictory instructions, you're insubordinate, you make people miserable, our top engineers are fleeing to Sun, Dell, HP." "Wall Street doesn't know who's driving the bus." "We've lost hundreds of millions in value, and I'm the CEO of Apple, Steve." "That's my resume." "But before that, you sold carbonated sugar water, right?" "I sat in a fucking garage with Wozniak and invented the future." "Because artists lead and hacks ask for a show of hands!" "All right." "Well, this guy's out of control." "I'm perfectly willing to hand in my resignation tonight, but if you want me to stay, you can't have Steve." "Settle him out." "He can keep a share of stock, so he gets our newsletter." "He'll have to sever his connection to Apple." "I'm dead serious." "I want the secretary to call for a vote." "I fucking dare you." "You have done an outstanding job over the years of cultivating the press, and by that I mean manipulating them because none of them, none of their editors, none of their editors' publishers, to this day," "know that you forced it." "That you forced the board." "Even after I told you exactly what they'd do, which is exactly what they did." "Unanimously." "I don't have any trouble remembering that, John, because of it being the worst night of my life." "And I forced the vote because I believed I was right." "I still believe I'm right." "And I'm right." "Now, I bled that night." "And I don't bleed." "But time's done its thing." "And I really haven't thought about it in a while." "I absolutely understand why you're upset." "And I want people to know the truth, too." "It's time." "Got it." "You're gonna end me, aren't you?" "You're being ridiculous." "I'm gonna sit center court and watch you do it yourself." "Then I'm gonna order a nice meal with a '55 Margaux, and sign some autographs." "Jesus Christ..." "You want some advice, Pepsi Generation?" "Don't send Woz out to slap me around in the press." "Anybody else." "You, Markkula, Arthur Rock." "Anyone but Rain Man." "Don't manipulate him like that." "Whatever you may think, I'm always gonna protect him." "Come on, Steve." "That's what men do." "We can't start late." "I don't think there was any way to detect a chip on my shoulder." "Did you know, back at Bandley the Mac team gave an award every year to the person who could stand up to you?" "No." "I won." "Three years in a row." "Cool." "This..." "This..." "This Guy Kawasaki in Macworld..." "He accidentally got it right, didn't he?" "You've been dragging your feet on the NeXT OS until you can figure out what Apple's going to need." "Even if that were true, it doesn't sound that diabolical to me." "Hey." "We're ready for you!" "I'm your closest confidante, your best friend." "Your thing..." "What do you call it?" "Your "work wife."" "The whole time!" "The last three years..." "When did you change your mind and start building the Steve Jobs Revenge Machine?" "House to half." "Do you remember Skylab?" "It was an unmanned satellite NASA sent up in the early '70s on a data-gathering mission." "The thing is, when they sent it up, they didn't know yet how they were going to get it back." "But they felt like they were close enough that in the eight years it was going to be up there, they'd figure it out." "They're on their way now." "They didn't." "So, after eight years, it came crashing down in a 1,000-mile swath across the Indian Ocean." "A little to the left, a little to the right, somebody could have gotten hurt." "I really wanted to build a computer for colleges." "The technology just didn't catch up as fast as I needed it to." "And you know we're out of money." "Ladies and gentlemen, the program will be starting momentarily." "But then, Apple stopped innovating, and I saw something better." "Joanna, I know schools aren't going to buy a $13,000 dictionary with good speakers." "You know I know that." "But Apple will." "Because Avie Tevanian is going to build them exactly the OS they need." "They're going to have to buy me, too." "For half a billion dollars in stock, and end-to-end control on every product." "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome..." "More than a year after it was first unveiled to industry insiders, the NeXT Computer is finally available in stores." "And it appears to be two strikes in a row for Steve Jobs." "Students and educators are finding it difficult to justify the machine's high cost." "So much for the Black Cube." "NeXT just sold its factory to Canon, and laid off half its employees." "In the world of computers, it's kill or be killed." "Apple Computer has fallen on hard times." "It is laying off about 2,500 people." "Apple is continuing to lose market share with no new innovations in the pipeline except the Newton, a pet project of CEO John Sculley." "If you really want to be mobile, you want a Newton PDA." "But, then again, maybe you don't." "It turns handwriting into computer text." "Hey, Dolph, take a memo on your Newton." ""Beat up Martin."" "In 1980, Apple had 30% of the market." "Today, Apple has only 3.2%." "That's it." "John Sculley has been fired from Apple." "And what about this internet thing?" "Do you know anything about that?" "Uh, it is the big, new thing." "Rumors are flying around Apple Computer once again, over who will take over the helm." "In the news at this hour, a remarkable high-tech reunion." "Well, it's happening." "In a billion-dollar shake-up," "Apple is purchasing next Computer's operating system, which may mean... ls the prodigal son returning?" "Bet on it." "Guess what." "Mac is back." "Apple co-founder Steven Jobs..." "Steve Jobs..." "Steve Jobs..." "Steve Jobs is returning to Apple." "If you want to beam your digital photographs from your digital camera, it's built into every product." "We're going to the new generation of I/O." "12-megabyte USB." "Two ports." "We're leaving the old Apple I/O behind." "Stereo surround sound built into every product." "A great keyboard, and the coolest mouse you've ever seen." "This time, we used actual mice." "We're opening the house in 10 minutes." "Steven?" "Do you want to stop horsing around?" "Bless my eyes." "That's Steve Wozniak, sitting out there." "Give yourselves a treat and ask Woz if he happens to have the correct time." "I have the correct time, and we're running out of it." ""A great keyboard."" "A great keyboard and the coolest mouse you've ever seen." "This is what those things look like today." "And now, I'd like to show you what they're going to look like tomorrow." "This is the iMac." "That was cool." "Why did I like that better than I usually do?" "I don't know." "Something was different." "Hey, stupid!" "I think she's talking to one of you guys." " Did you notice a difference?" " That's what I'm..." "The exit signs were off." "Full blackout." "You did it!" "We wired all the exit lights to our board." "They go out with the cue for seven seconds, then come back on again, in theory." "We think that's legal?" "No, we're very certain it's not." "You want to see some quotes?" "Let's hold off on those." "No, he'll like them." "I'll show them to you later." "I'll take them now." "I'm sorry." "Pick it up from there, please." "We only have a couple of minutes, so let's just do the 360." "We're going to bring out a wireless camera we stole from Panasonic." "I'll show you what this looks like." "The whole thing is translucent." "You can see into it." "How's that for a compromise, Woz?" "You still can't get into it, but you can see into it." "Fair enough." "We put stereo speakers in front, infrared right up here." "CD-ROM drive in the middle." "Nice." "Dual stereo headphone jacks, and all the connectors are inside one beautiful little door, here." "Ethernet, USB." "Even though this is a full-blooded Macintosh, we're targeting it for the number-one use the consumers tell us they want a computer for." " Which is..." " Let's hold it, please!" "Hold it." "The answer was "the Internet."" " Joanna?" " Yeah." "Just stand in front of me." "I want to look at these quotes, but I don't want Joel to know." "They're all great." ""It is not only the coolest-looking computer introduced in years," ""but a chest-thumping statement" ""that Silicon Valley's original dream company is no longer somnambulant."" " It's a word." "It means "sleepwalking."" " Steve?" "I'm sorry, we have to clear the house if we're going to start on time." "We're absolutely starting on time." "We're going to start on time." "Here, take this." "Everybody, that's it." "They've got to mop the stage, reset, and open the house." "I love you guys." "Andy, come on back a minute." " Which one?" " Hertzfeld." "Forbes calls it an industry-altering success." "Look here." "Why haven't we ever slept together?" "We're not in love." "Look." "Sculley." "Look what he said." ""He has implemented the same simple strategy" ""that made Apple so successful 15 years ago." ""Make hit products and promote them with terrific marketing."" "That was nice of him." "It was." "I meant it." "Sightings of J.D. Salinger are more common than John Sculley." "I wasn't being sarcastic." "It was nice of him." "Do you talk to him?" "No." "You haven't talked to him since '88?" "I'd have told you if I did." "Doesn't matter." "I don't want people thinking they can cross me and then, boom, 15 years later, I'm cool with it." "I was kidding." "What's wrong with you this morning?" "Let's get off the stage." ""The only thing Apple's providing now is leadership in colors."" "Don't worry about it." "What does Bill Gates have against me?" "I don't know." "You're both out of your minds." "Listen to me." "He dropped out of a better school than I dropped out of." "But he's a tool bag." "I'll tell you why." "Make everything all right with Lisa." " You know, Joanna?" " Boundaries." "You've come to my apartment at 1:00 a.m. and cleaned it." "So tell me where the boundary is." "There." "Let's say it's there." "If I give you some real projections, will you promise not to repeat them from the stage?" "What do you mean, "Real projections"?" "What have you been giving me?" "Conservative projections." "Marketing's been lying to me?" "We've been managing expectations so that you don't not." "What are the real projections?" "We're going to sell a million units in the first 90 days." "20,000 a month after that." " Holy shit!" " Yeah." "You see?" "You wait long enough, and..." "What's more, 32% of the sales are going to go to people buying a computer for the first time." "And 12% are going to people using some kind of Windows machine." "That's what Bill Gates has against you." "And it'll be the fastest-selling computer in history." "You brought the company back from life support after going through the misery of laying off 3,000 people and cutting 70% of the product line." "So, Steven, it's over." "You're going to win." "It would be criminal not to enjoy this moment." "I'm enjoying it." "Make things all right with Lisa." " You know..." " Come on." "I don't like having less privacy than other people have." "Does being a multi-billionaire take some of the sting off that?" "No." "All Lisa did..." "All Lisa did was give her blessing." "Chrisann sold the house and..." "And Lisa could have done what?" "How was she supposed to stop her mother from selling her own house?" "That I bought for the two of them." "How was she supposed to stop her?" "Voicing an objection would have been a step in the right direction." "You don't think you're having a bizarre overreaction to a 19-year-old girl allowing her mother to list her own house?" "She could've tried." "How is she supposed to stop her mother, that particular mother..." "She gave Chrisann her blessing to sell the house, and she did it to spite me!" "I don't care if she put a pipe bomb in the water heater!" "You're going to fix it, now." "She's been acting weird for months." "She's turned on me." " Fix it." " What the..." " Fix it, Steve." " Take it easy!" "Fix it or I quit." "How about that?" "I quit and you never see me again." "How about that?" "Tell me what's wrong with you this morning." "What's been wrong with me for 19 years." "I've been a witness, and I tell you I've been complicit." "I love you, Steve." "You know how much." "I love that you don't care how much money a person makes, you care what they make." "But what you make isn't supposed to be the best part of you." "When you're a father, that's what's supposed to be the best part of you." "And it's caused me two decades of agony, Steve, that it is for you the worst." "It's a little thing." "It's a very small thing." "Fix it." "Fix it now, or you can contact me at my new job, working anywhere I want." "I don't happen to think it is a little deal." " She knew that..." " No." " I bought the house for the two of." " No." "What do you mean, "No"?" "I mean, no." "The house has nothing to do with why you're angry at Lisa." "I assure you, the house has everything to do with why I'm angry at Lisa." "Have you ever heard the phrase "reality distortion field"?" "Yes." "As in, "Steve's reality distortion field"?" " I've heard it." " I've read it." "It's been sung to me by Joan Baez." "What you call a reality distortion field, and I'm pretty sure you're the one who coined the phrase, is the reason we're here." "I know that." "If I traded in my bank account for a dollar every time somebody told me something was impossible," "I'd come out ahead." "I know that, too." "What's the problem?" "My problem?" "It sure isn't the house." "Jo, I..." "It's that you told her you weren't going to pay for Harvard." "That child." "That earnest, un-ironic kid." "She told you I wasn't paying her tuition?" "I should have hit you with something heavy a long time ago." "Lisa told you I wasn't paying her tuition?" "Andy told me that." "Which one?" "Hertzfeld." "How would Hertzfeld know?" "He wrote Harvard a check for $25,000 to cover the semester." "Are you fucking..." "He paid her tuition?" "Isn't that why you just asked to see him?" "No, I asked to see him about something..." "Did you tell her you weren't going to pay for college?" "Yes, because..." "How could you do that?" "Because her mother, who is also her landlord..." "Hertzfeld?" "I was ranting!" "I was just talking!" "You think I would..." "I was pissed off because Lisa was trying to piss me off, Joanna." "That was her intent!" "You obviously scared the hell out of her!" " Hertzfeld wrote a check to Harvard." " Pay for..." "Is she here yet?" "I'm sure she is." "Can you have someone bring her back?" "Yes." "Thank you." "You know, my grandmother always used to say to me..." "I don't give a shit, Yentl." "I'll have someone get Lisa." "Thank you." "And if you see Hertzfeld..." "It's Andy!" "Speak of the devil's chief engineer." "Go." "Come on in." "You look great today." " Thank you." " Doesn't she?" "She looks fantastic." "Always does." "Get out." "Well, I think I know why I'm here." " Do you?" " Steve..." "Did you send the check yet?" "Yes." "So Harvard got a tuition check from Andy Hertzfeld to pay for Lisa?" "I don't think they look that carefully." "I don't think they'd notice the check didn't come from you." "Close one." "This was almost embarrassing for me." "I understand how..." "I'll wire you the money today." "I understand how you feel." "And I do apologize, I do." "But, let me tell you my thinking." "I can't even think of an appropriate analogy to describe what you did." "I knew you guys would fix things." "You always do." "But in the meantime, if the money wasn't there, she'd miss a semester of school." "Yeah." "And she'd have to tell her friends why." "And she needed things." "She needed socks." "What?" "It's cold in Cambridge." "She needed warm socks." "You gave her socks?" "Well, I gave her money for socks." "You don't get to deputize yourself as her interim." "You don't get to override my decisions." "Do you understand?" "You don't get to act like you're her father." "Somebody had to." "What the fuck did you just say to me?" "I've known her since she was six." "I also consider..." "Chrisann's my friend, outside of what you and I..." "Outside of our relationship." "So you're like a family advisor." "I'm a family friend." "Then you probably know that Lisa's been seeing a therapist." "Yeah." " For many years." " Yeah." "Without my knowledge." "That really wasn't my business." "I'm fascinated by what you think is and isn't your business." "Lisa's been going to a therapist, and she likes it." "And would love for you and Chrisann to go with her." "And the reason you know that is because you're the one that recommended the therapist." "Well, I know a guy." "No, I mean you're the one who recommended that she see a therapist." "You know what?" "It was a while ago, and I don't remember how the whole..." "You told Chrisann that Lisa should see a therapist." "Steve, you're stigmatizing." "It's a perfectly norm..." "It's not..." "My thing was, how can it hurt?" "Let's find out." "Chrisann is my friend." "What was the reason you gave?" "You mean..." "What was the reason you gave Chrisann why Lisa should see a therapist?" "I don't remember." "We were talking and I said..." "It's pretty much what I just said, that it certainly couldn't hurt." "You didn't say that Lisa needed a strong male role model?" "I did." "I think it's a miracle she's not robbing banks with the Symbionese Liberation Army." "There is no reason in the world why she should be nice." "But she is." "So I helped." "Because somebody had to." "I'll wire the money to you this afternoon." "You threatened me a long time ago." "Sorry?" "A long time ago, you threatened me once." "People are attracted to people with talent." "People without it find that threatening." "Maybe you should see a therapist." "Certainly couldn't hurt." "I meant you literally threatened me." "At Flint, right before the Mac launch." "I was recompiling ." "I was trying to debug the voice demo." "And you said if I couldn't find a solution, you'd call me out in front of the audience." "Did it say "hello"?" "It did." "No need to thank me." "Why do you want people to dislike you?" "I don't want people to dislike me." "I'm indifferent to whether they dislike me." "Since it doesn't matter, I always have." "Really?" "I've always liked you a lot." "That's too bad." "Knock 'em dead." "Thank you." "What is remarkable, what's hard to fathom but true is that for a given clock rate, a PowerPC chip is twice as fast as a Pentium II chip." "In other words, a 266 megahertz G3 chip is twice as fast as a 266 megahertz Pentium II." "Or... a 266 G3 is equal to about 500 megahertz." "Take a look at BYTE magazine's BYTE Marks, the gold standard for any..." "Come in." "I sent someone into the lobby." "They found her and she..." "Where is she?" "She said she'd rather not come back." "Why?" "That was it." "I'm going out there myself." "You can't." "You can't." "It'll be a scene out of Hard Day's Night." "Excuse me?" "Hey, Joel." "Andy said it was okay to come back." " Which one?" " Andy Cunningham." "I can't do this forever." "I need one of them to change their name." "You call Andy Cunningham "Andrea."" "It doesn't matter what I call them." "I know who I'm talking about when I'm talking." "I need everyone else to call them different names." "Give me one second." "Can you go get her for me, please?" "I just talked to Andy Hertzfeld." "I'm just trying to scrub this out of my brain with Drano." "But I do want to talk to Lisa." "Okay, just..." " Stay cool." " Okay." "Thank you." "Hey, Steve." "How are you feeling?" "I'm feeling good, Joel." "How about you?" "I don't think I could be in your business." "It changes too quickly." "Well, I'd hang on, 'cause yours is about to start changing pretty quickly, too." "This is the third time in 14 years I'm writing about you." "What do you think so far?" "Excuse me." "Uh, Avie's looking for you." "He has a new shark." "Want to come backstage for a second?" "Sure." "Who's this one?" "Alan Turing." "Single-handedly won World War II and, for an encore, invented the computer." "He won't be part of the campaign, though." "Why not?" "Because you just had to ask me who he was." "Can I see new shark?" " I like it better than the old shark." " Sharks." "Sharks." "How many sharks did you go through?" " A couple." " This is the 39th." "We're on the record." "Thirty-nine sharks." "Okay." "You know what's special about this shark?" "What?" "No, I'm really asking, because it looks exactly like the other 38 sharks to me." "Let me see it with the cue." "From the profile." "This is Cue 92-B." "This is a profile here." "And this is what it looks like from the back." "And one more thing ." "It eats Pentium notebooks as a light snack." "This is the shark." "I really like it." "Nobody gets it right the first time, but I should have been shown this shark 15, 20 fish ago." "You probably were." "Lock it in." "10 minutes." "He killed himself by taking a bite of a poison apple." "Alan Turing." "Yeah." "There should be statues of that man." "His name should be on the lips of schoolchildren." "The rainbow flag Apple with a bite taken out." "That's where it came from?" "No, we picked it off a list of friendly-sounding words." "But wouldn't it be great if that had been the story behind it?" "Steve." "Kinda liked the last shark." "Fuck you." "I wanted to ask you a favor." "My friend, a long time ago, you asked me a favor before a product launch, and I said no." " You wanted me to acknowledge." " Hang on." "If you're about to say you were wrong," "I want to prepare this journalist." "I was 100% right." "And you were spectacularly wrong." "But I still owe you a favor, so name it." "Steve." "But it can't be about acknowledging the Apple II team." "Acknowledge the Apple II team." "How about in private?" " No." "No." " Is this a prank?" "Because I'm trying to remember that a 300 megahertz G3 chip..." "Just the top guys." "Steve." " Excuse me, okay?" " Yep." "One second." "She said she'd rather not." "What do you mean?" "She's sitting with her friends, and she said she'd rather not come back." "Okay." "Tell her..." "Take her aside, I don't want to embarrass her in front of her friends, but tell her I just scared the shit out of Andy, and this time, nobody's paying her fucking..." " All right." " Don't say that." "But do your thing, where you sound old and wise because of the broad, tragic European canvas of your life." "You know I wasn't born in a 19th century shtetl, right?" "Please tell her it's important." " Everything all right?" " Yeah." "There are people around here, man, including a member of the press." "I see him." "Woz." "Just the top guys, the ones who are getting laid off." "Listen, okay?" "Last year, Apple lost one billion dollars." "I don't even know how that's possible." "You were less than 90 days from being insolvent." "I had three different accountants try to explain it to me." "The whole place has to be streamlined." "Start with two of the accountants." "I started with the..." "Joel, could you come off-stage?" "We're going to go backstage." "Leave him right there." "I started with the Apple II team because we don't make that anymore." "Just acknowledge the top guys." "Have a mimosa and relax." "You will not blow me off right now, Steve!" "The top guys..." "There are no top guys." "All right?" "On the Apple II team, there are no top guys." "They're B players." "And B players discourage the A players." "And I want A players at Apple, and not Dell." "They're not B players, and I'm a better judge of that!" "Less than 90 days from insolvency." "In part, because somebody thought the Newton wasn't a box of garbage." "Joel, could you come off stage please?" "Leave him!" "I'm talking about..." "You guys designed and shipped a little box of garbage while I was gone." "I'm talking about the Apple II!" "Which is not just a crucial part of this company's history, it is a crucial part of the history of personal computing!" "For a time." "The least you can do, if you're going to downsize these people..." "They're going to live in the biggest houses of anyone on the unemployment line." "...is to acknowledge them!" "Acknowledge them and the Apple II during this launch!" "This is a new animal." "This whole place was built by the Apple II." "You were built by the Apple II." "As a matter of fact, I was destroyed by the Apple II and its open system, so that hackers and hobbyists could build ham radios, or something!" "And then, it nearly destroyed Apple when you spent all your money on it and developed a grand total of no new products." "The Newton." "The little box of garbage." "You guys came up with the Newton." "You, like, want people to know that?" "This is a product launch, not a luncheon." "And the last thing I want to do is connect the iMac to..." "To the only successful product that this company has ever made." "I'm sorry to be blunt, but that happens to be the truth." "The Lisa was a failure." "The Macintosh was a failure." "I don't like talking like this, but I am tired of being Ringo when I know I was John." "Everybody loves Ringo." "And I'm tired of being patronized by you!" "You think John became John by winning a raffle, Woz?" "You think he tricked somebody, or hit George Harrison over the head?" "He was John because he was John." "He was John because he wrote Ticket to Ride." "And I wrote the Apple II." "Everybody?" "I want to clear the auditorium." "Nobody moves!" "You made a beautiful board which, by the way, you were willing to give out for free, so don't tell me how you built Apple." "If it weren't for me, you'd be the easiest "A" at Homestead High School." "These people live and die by your praise, so here's your chance." "Acknowledge that something good happened that you weren't in the room for." " No." " Steve!" "Do it." "It's right." "It's..." "It's right." "Sorry, but no." "Then let me put it another way." "I don't think there's a man who's done more to advance the democratization that comes with personal computing than I have, but you've never had any respect for me." "Now why is that?" "I'd at least consider the possibility that it's because you've never had any for me." "What the hell is going on here?" "Nothing." "Thank you for your time." " It's done." " She's coming back." "You came a half-inch from putting this company out of business." "Now, who do I see about that?" "I'm letting you keep your job." "You get a pass." "You know, when people used to ask me what the difference was between me and Steve Jobs," "I would say Steve was the big-picture guy and I liked a solid workbench." "When people ask me what the difference is now, I say" "Steve's an asshole." "Your products are better than you are, brother." "That's the idea, "brother."" "And knowing that, that's the difference." "It's not binary." "You can be decent and gifted at the same time." "He didn't mean it." "Yeah, he did." "He's a temperamental guy." "No, he's not." "It's like, five minutes before every launch, everyone goes to a bar, gets drunk, and tells me what they really think." "She's coming to your dressing room." "I told you to make things all right with Lisa." "I didn't say you had to settle every blood feud you have." "The last time blood feuds weren't settled, I lost the cover of Time." "Though, for the life of me, I still don't know what the hell Dan Kottke was mad at me about." "Kottke didn't lose you the cover of Time." "Of course he did." "Would you like me to demonstrate your capacity to be wrong when you're certain you're right?" "Dan Kottke told Time magazine that I was denying..." "Do you remember the cover?" "Of Time?" " Yes." " Yes." "What was it?" "What are you talking about?" "What was on the cover?" "A computer." "No, it was a sculpture of a computer." "It was a sculpture." "Time would have had to have commissioned it months in advance." "You were never in the conversation for Man of the Year." "Nobody lost you anything." "So, what else are you sure about?" "I don't know how I could've missed that." "Reality distortion." " No, seriously." " Seriously." "Don't try to win an argument with Lisa." "Just say you were wrong." "Come on in, honey!" "It's not "honey."" "John!" "Get in, get in." "Get out of the hall." "I was taken in the side entrance." "I'll go out the same way." "No one will see me." "How are you, Joanna?" "I'm good, John." "I'm just surprised to see you." "Everyone here really appreciates the quote you gave to Forbes." "You didn't have to do that." "My pleasure." "If you want, I can slip you in the back once the house lights go out." "I'm just here to say "good luck." Okay." "You just have a couple of minutes." "Would you try to find..." "Yeah." "You're a good man, John." "So, I brought you a present." "The Newton." "If you don't take it out of the box, you'll be able to sell it." "Which is more than I can say." "Everything all right there?" " What?" "No." " Yeah." "Just something Joanna pointed out to me." "I missed something so obvious about..." "It doesn't matter." "Look, Wall Street's gonna sit back and wait to see how you do as CEO, so don't let any fluctuation bother you for the first 12 months." "Day traders are gonna respond." "I don't need to school you." "Is this your way of telling me I shouldn't have killed the Newton?" "The most efficient animal on the planet is the condor." "The most inefficient animals on the planet are humans." "Well, you shouldn't have killed it for spite." "That's bad business." "Don't do that." "But a human with a bicycle becomes the most efficient animal." "And the right computer..." "A friendly, easy computer that isn't an eyesore, but rather sits on your desk with the beauty of a tensor lamp, the right computer will be a bicycle for the mind." "Do you like it?" "I was given back." "And what if, instead of it being in the right hands, it was in everyone's hands?" "Everyone in the world." "We'd be talking about the most tectonic shift in the status quo since..." "Ever." "I don't know why you've always been interested in my adoption history, but you said, it's not like someone looked at me and gave me back." "But that is what happened." "You're telling me you have the right computer?" "It's called Macintosh." "A lawyer couple adopted me first, then gave me back after a month." "They changed their mind." "Then my parents adopted me." "My biological mother had stipulated that whoever took me had to be college-educated, wealthy, and Catholic." "Paul and Clara Jobs were none of those things, so my biological mother wouldn't sign the adoption papers." "What happened?" "There was a legal battle that went on for a while." "My mother said she refused to love me for the first year." "You know, in case they had to give me back." "You can't refuse to love someone, Steve." "Yeah, it turns out you can." "What the hell can a one-month-old do that's so bad that his parents give him back?" "There's nothing a one-month-old can do." "Have you ever thought about trying to find your biological father?" "I've met my biological father." "For that matter, so have you." "It's called Macintosh." "Mr. Steve Jobs!" "Jandali." "Say hello to John Sculley." "Jandali owns the place, and John's the CEO of Pepsi, but I'm trying to get him to move to Cupertino." "Put a dent in the universe." "You eat vegan as well?" "You're kidding me." "No, I'll eat anything." "Why don't you start us off with the Mediterranean lettuce salad with purslane, mint..." "My sister found him." "Does he know?" "No." "In fact, he bragged to Mona that Steve Jobs comes in the restaurant all the time." " You don't want to..." " No." "Don't you think you should talk to him?" "He'd probably find a reason to sue me." "Oh, Steve..." "John, if you're here about your legacy, you need to form a line behind Wozniak." "Wozniak's gonna be fine." "I'm the guy who fired Steve Jobs." ""Rich, college-educated, and Catholic."" "Steve, it's time." "I've gotta go." " Did I do this?" " Screw it up?" "Let's let it go now." "It has to be time." "Come be our CEO." "Yeah, okay." "It was the stylus, John." "What?" "I killed the Newton because of the stylus." "If you're holding a stylus, you can't use the other five that are attached to your wrist." "Things we could have done together." "God, the things we could've done." "I'm paying your tuition." "Are you crazy?" "Of course I'm paying your tuition." "I must have misunderstood you when you said you weren't paying my tuition." "You and your mom selling the house was a hostile thing to do." "She needed the money." "She always needs the money." "She needs a doctor." "She has a sinus infection." "She's had the same sinus infection since 1988." "I'm gonna take care of my mother." "I'm sorry if that angers you." "It does anger me, because you're a kid and it's not your job to take care of your mother." "Is that how yours died?" "Guys, um, step away, please." "Give them some room." "When your mom is 90 and can't feed herself, you can take care of her." "But right now, she's 45, perfectly healthy, and can't feed herself." "You're supposed to work hard at school and be 19, and that's it." "I'll take care of your mother." "Well, keep up the good work." "What the hell do you want from me?" "I was sent for." "I bought her a house for $400,000." "It's worth twice that much today!" "She sold it for two magic rocks and a bowl of soup." "It was her house." "She used that money to travel through Europe." "Money which you make her beg for." " Steve..." " Don't even start with that." "Going to Andy and asking for the money?" "That was so off-the-charts over the line..." "I did not do that." "Andy came to me." "Everybody have an opinion on this?" "I'm sorry, guys." "In 30 seconds, you're going to be late." "She spends the money on antiques, and then sells them for a fraction of what she paid." "And she does it with money I gave to her for you!" "Steve..." "You came to me hysterical when you were 13, asking if you could live with me..." "I was not hysterical." "...because your mom was screaming at you every day." "And 13 was the second time I asked you." "The stress of her life as a spiritual healer." "I don't believe I said you're a bad guy." "But if I did, I am sorry." "Something happened to you at school." "Some first semester core class that all freshmen are required to take..." "I read Time." "What?" "I have Internet access at school." "I read an old copy of Time, and I asked my mom some questions about my family history." "That was..." "Time wrote a mangled piece of journal." "You were never supposed to read that." "I had two different Harvard statisticians try to reverse-engineer the equation that you came up with to prove that 28% of American men could be my father!" "Honey, I..." "You know, my mother might be a troubled woman, but what's your excuse?" "That's why I'm not impressed with your story, Dad!" "It's that you knew what I was going through, and you didn't do anything about it." "And that makes you an unconscionable coward." "And not for nothing, but "think" is a verb, all right?" "Making "different" an adverb." "You're asking people to think differently, and you can talk about the Bauhaus movement and Braun and "Simplicity is sophistication," and Issey Miyake uniforms, and Bob Dylan lyrics all you want, but that thing" "looks like Judy Jetson's Easy-Bake oven." "Hey!" "Oh, gee, you're gonna start late." "You know what "Lisa" stood for?" "What?" "The computer." "The Lisa." "Do you know what it stood for?" "I'm sorry I said that about the iMac." "It's not what I really think." "Behind my back, at the office, you know what it stood for?" "Local Integrated System Architecture." "I was five!" "Why couldn't you just lie?" "I did." "Of course it was named after you." ""Local Integrated System Architecture" doesn't even mean anything." "Why'd you say it wasn't all those years?" "I honestly don't know." "Why'd you say you aren't my father?" "I'm poorly made." "It's after 9:00, you're gonna be late." "I don't care." "You're writing for the Crimson." "What?" "The Apple chapter of the Harvard Alumni Association tells me you're writing for the Crimson." "Oh, yeah, a little bit." "Essays..." "I'd like to read one." "Sure." "No, I mean now." "I'd like to read one of your essays now." "Come on, you've got to go on stage." "The iMac will not be launched until you give me one of your essays, so the world is waiting for you." "I'm really sorry, guys!" "Good luck." "Gonna put music in your pocket." "What?" "100 songs." "1,000 songs. 500 songs." "Somewhere between 500 and 1,000 songs, right in your pocket, because I can't stand looking at that inexplicable Walkman anymore." "You're carrying around a brick playing a cassette tape." "We're not savages." "So I'm gonna put 1,000 songs in your pocket." "You can do that?" "Mmm-hmm." "You want to watch from backstage?" "Okay." "Go, Cue 1." "You remember that painting you did on the original Mac?" "I do." "Ladies and gentlemen," "Steve Jobs." "Woz." "Whoo!"