"They always, um..." "get that carried away or?" "Didn't you when you were that age... sir?" "In that report of yours, um..." "Let me see it again." "Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at the beach house." "2:30 to 4:30." "Any other times they meet?" "Lady's got commitments." "You, uh..." "You got the camera out of there, didn't you?" "Yes, sir." "Last night." " Any more copies of this, uh?" " No, sir." "No copies." "And I presume no more copies of this?" "You presume correctly, Counsellor." "Hugh!" "Open the door!" "Hugh!" "Open this door!" "Hugh, I'm warning you, open the door!" "Bastard!" "$378,000 above the estimate?" "Why, Charlie?" "What the hell am I supposed to tell the bank?" "Banisters went up 60 cents a square foot, Mr Creighton." "The prime rate went up today." "I've got to renegotiate every loan." "I don't know what to tell you." "Look at these cost-run totals." " Hi, darling." "Hi, Charlie." " Afternoon, Mrs Creighton." " What do you think of your building?" " It's beautiful." "Gosh, what a beautiful view!" "Charlie, I'll talk to the bank and I'll get back to you tomorrow." " OK." "Bye, Mrs Creighton." " Bye, Charlie." "All right, Hugh." "What's this all about?" "You throw my things out and lock me out of my house?" "It's very simple, sweetheart." "We're finished, done, through." "It's over." " Hugh, after four years, that's it?" " Mm-hm." "You decide we're finished?" "You throw my things out of my house and change the locks?" "It's my house, Marcy." "Not yours." "Not ours." "Mine." "No!" "It's not gonna be that easy." "You want out, OK." "But it's gonna cost you." "Gonna cost me?" "What, money?" "Aren't you forgetting something?" "We're not married." "But we've been living together for four years as man and wife." "Charlie calls me Mrs Creighton." "Everyone does." "The servants, everyone." "Well, the fact is, though, you're not Mrs Creighton." "I'll tell you what you are." "You're a has-been rock star." "You used to be Hugh Creighton's mistress." "That's what you are." "Sweetheart..." "Be careful, honey." "You fall off this building, somebody might think it wasn't an accident." "I see the headlines now." ""Famous lawyer kills mistress."" "That's not real good for business." "Be careful, all right?" "You want headlines?" "I'll give you a headline." ""Marcy tells how America's most famous lawyer buys cops," " judges, witnesses..."" " Cut the crap!" "It'll be your word against mine." "And who do you think they'll believe?" "The shyster lawyer... or sweet little me?" " How much do you want?" " The same as I'd get as your wife." "You've made about 10 million in our time together." "Half of that is five million, and I want it now in cash." "Marcy, I don't have five million dollars in cash." "Every cent I've got is tied up in this building." "So sell it." "I'll give you two months." "Until then we'll continue living exactly as we have been." "Now, may I have the keys to the house..." "darling?" "Morning, Ando." "Beautiful day, huh?" " You're in the paper again today." " Yeah?" "Yeah." "It's a nice picture." "Come take a look." " Nice picture, eh?" " Mm-hm." " As opposed to what?" " It's a big article." "Three columns." "Mm..." " Not bad, huh?" " No." " Want a refill?" " Sure." "How come you're so sweet this morning?" "Well, guilt, I think." "Yeah, it's guilt." "I've been... worried about the trial and the cost overruns on the building, and I..." "I guess I took it out on you, and that's, uh... that's not right." " Oh, you know what else?" " No, what?" "I love you." "I do." "You going to the beach today?" "Yeah." "What time are you coming back?" "About 5:30." "Same as usual." " Same as usual?" " Mm-hm." "OK, I tell you what." "Why don't I meet you back here at six?" "I'll take you out to dinner someplace not, uh... not unromantic." " OK?" " OK." "OK." "I'm coming!" "No, you don't..." "Lemon." "Number... one." "And caviar." "Mm." "Ah-ah-ah!" "Bang..." "Bang." "Whoa!" "Does this taste all right to you?" " Yeah." "What's wrong?" " Nothing." "I just don't feel like champagne today." "Here." "Mm..." "That's good." " Are you OK?" " Yeah..." "I'm feeling... dizzy." "I think I'm gonna pass out." "That's too much champagne too fast." "Hi." "Oh, I hope I'm not disturbing you lovebirds." "No, Hugh." "Don't hurt him." "Hey, Marcy." "Wake up, babe." "It's late." "Hey, Marce." "Oh, God..." "Hey, you!" "You!" " What?" " How much did you pay for that?" " This?" " Yeah." " 299, list." " 299?" "!" " 299?" "!" " You can get them cheaper, I suppose." " How?" " Shop around in discount stores." "Dhoti's Discount Store is the best." "Lowest prices in town." "My wife's nephew's birthday's comin' up." "He's been droppin' hints, you know." "299, list." "What does "list" mean?" "I don't know." "Let's go around here, Lieutenant." "Dhoti's." "Uh..." "Keep everybody out of here until the lab finds out who those footprints belong to." "It's OK, Lieutenant." "Sergeant Habach's identified them as the cleaning lady's." "The cleaning lady's?" "Look at the way that's raked." "You got that herringbone on either side and a kind of mish-mash in the middle." " It's better if we go in the front way." " Whatever you say, Lieutenant." "Clear a path for the lieutenant here, please." " How was she killed, Lieutenant?" " I just got here." " Out of the way, people." " I just got here." "Out of the way!" " You're here at eight every morning?" " Yes." "Excuse me." "Thank you." "Morning, Lieutenant." "Morning, Sergeant." "What do you have?" "The housekeeper found the body at eight this morning shortly after she arrived." "The victim's in the bedroom." "Her name is Marcy Edwards." " Upstairs?" " Upstairs." " Celebrity?" " Used to be." "Ex-rock-and-roll singer." "She was kinda famous for a while." "What do you got, George?" "Looks like the lady and her friend were having a party." "The way I figure, the lady changed her mind." "Guy got persistent and next thing his fingers are on her throat." "End of party." "Oh, they're big." "The guy must have had big hands." " Have the lab boys check these for prints." " They look too smudged for an ID." "Too smudged?" "Yeah, you could be right." " What's her name?" "Marcy Edwards?" " Yeah." "Did she sing a song, "Closer, Closer, Your Lips to Mine"?" "I don't know." ""Make love to me one more time"?" "I don't know." "Her albums are on the wall." "I think that she was my nephew's favourite singer." "He used to play that song over and over again." "I think she's the one." "What am I bothering with this for now?" "Something's wrong with me, George." " OK, any idea when this happened?" " My guesstimate is yesterday afternoon, somewhere around three or four o'clock." "Yesterday afternoon, somewhere around three or four." " Uh..." "Yesterday was Wednesday?" " Yeah." " They look good." " They don't come any better." "Both bottles." " What are you looking for, Lieutenant?" " The corks and that little metal thing you find on champagne bottles." "They were opened in the kitchen, sir." " How do you know that?" " That's where we found the foil and corks." " In the kitchen?" " In the kitchen." " Both corks?" " Both corks." "Mm..." "Lieutenant, what's bothering you?" "I don't know why they opened both bottles here." "One, I understand." "They open a bottle, fill their glasses, make a toast, grab the bottle and take it to the bedroom." "But after they finished the first bottle, why did they both come back to the kitchen to open a second bottle?" "Who says they did?" "One of them comes to the kitchen, opens the second bottle," " takes it back..." " I don't think that's how people do it." "This is a... romantic situation and there's sex in the air and..." "Two people are drinking champagne together and they want to open the bottle together." "They want to share the pop and the spritz." "That's what champagne is all about." "Pop and spritz." "Why else do you drink champagne if not for the pop and the spritz?" "Gerry, would you take a picture of these corks and the foil?" "Sure." " Excuse me." " Mm-hm." "What do you think a thing like this cost?" "Cost?" "I don't know." "It looks like a good one." " Four, five hundred." " Four, five hundred." "Wow!" "These things, they go high." " You want 8x10's, Lieutenant?" " Uh, that'd be fine, Gerry." " You ever hear of Dhoti's Discount?" " No." "I don't think so." "Yeah..." "I gotta check them." "I hear they got good prices." " You got a handkerchief?" " Uh... sure." "There you go." "Have the lab check these." "But when they're through, get 'em back to me." "OK." "Mind telling me what you expect the lab to find?" "Oh, I don't know." "Maybe nothing." "Oh, Lieutenant." "I found this "In case of emergency, notify" card in Marcy's purse." " I think it'd be better if you made this call." " Why me?" "I'm just a sergeant." "I figure someone higher than me should break the news to a guy like this." ""Hugh Creighton."" "The lawyer that never lost a murder case?" " That Hugh Creighton?" " He's the one." "The prosecution has proved beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant cold-bloodedly planned and ruthlessly murdered his mother, plunging a butcher knife into her body." "Not once, not twice, not three times..." "Not four times." "Not five times." "Not seven times or nine times..." " I'll wait." " Sorry, Your Honour." "My apologies to the court." "I apologise to the counsellor too." "I hope I didn't break your rhythm." " You left off at "nine times"." " Enough, Mr Creighton." "Well, I just assumed he was going up to 14..." "I said enough." " Continue, Counsellor." " Thank you, Your Honour." "Don't let my celebrated colleague's theatrics distract you from the one inescapable fact of this case:" "The fact that the defendant's fingerprints were found on this knife." "The knife he plunged into the woman who gave him life." "Not nine times or 11 times, but 14 times." "Into his own mother." "The prosecution rests, Your Honour." " Mr Creighton." " Thank you, Your Honour." "Ladies and gentlemen, I..." "I'd like for you to take a look at this young man." "Look into his eyes." "Are those the eyes of a murderer?" "Look very closely, please." "You know, they say the eyes are the mirror of the soul." "Are you looking into the soul of a murderer?" "No." "Those are the eyes of a loving son." "A son who, when his father died, devoted his life to his mother." "A son who denied himself friendships and the pleasures of youth to be close to his mother... a very lonely woman, whose only happiness in life was her son." "A son who attended to her every need." "A son who spared her the drudgeries of everyday life, who was her constant companion, who brightened her life with little gifts... the most precious of which was his love for his mom." "Ladies and gentlemen, today this young man's life is in your hands and the Lord's." "And I know that the Lord has looked into his soul, and I hope that he will guide you today in your solemn deliberations." "If you listen to his voice, as I have, by the way," " you will know..." " Sorry to interrupt, Mr Creighton." "I'm adjourning this court until tomorrow at ten." " Is there any reason..." " The reason will become clear when you talk to the man over there." "Court adjourned till tomorrow at ten." "All rise." " Who the hell is that?" " I don't know." "What's going on?" "Excuse me." " I'm Lieutenant Columbo from the police." " Yes?" " From Homicide." " Yes?" "Is there someplace private that we could go?" "Here." "Come in here." "Now, what's this all about, Columbus?" "Uh, not Columbus, sir." "Columbo." " Columbo." "What the hell is this?" " Uh... it's about a Miss Marcy Edwards." " What about her?" " Uh... you were a good friend of hers?" " Will you please get to the point?" " I mean, a close friend?" " We live together." " Uh-huh." "Was that at 20..." "25903 Pacific Coast Highway?" "That's my beach house." "We live in Bel Air." "When was the last time you saw Miss Edwards?" "Whoa, wait a minute." "No more questions." "What is this all about?" "I'm sorry, sir, but Miss Edwards is dead." " What are you talking about?" " She was murdered." "Where?" "By whom?" "At the beach house." "We don't know who did it yet." "What's wrong?" "What happened?" "What is it?" "What's wrong?" " Are you a friend of Mr Creighton's?" " Yes." "I'm his associate." "Trish..." "Marcy's been murdered." "Oh, my God, Hugh." "Oh, I'm so sorry." " When?" " I don't know..." " When did it happen?" " Yesterday between 3 and 4pm." "Oh, Jesus..." "Sir, I know that this is a bad time, but I'm gonna have to ask you to come and identify the body." "Oh, God..." " That hasn't already been done?" " No, sir." "Not officially." "Well..." "I just pray to God it's not Marcy." "Oh, my God..." "That's Marcy." "Wait a minute." "I want to look at her." "Death by strangulation." "She was strangled but the cause of death was a broken neck." "Her neck is broken." " Any signs of a struggle?" " No." " Nails are intact." " Uh-huh." "No violence, huh?" "Any signs of a sexual assault or?" "No." "Mr Creighton, your knowledge of forensic medicine is very..." "Lieutenant, I want to see the autopsy report." "Sir, you don't want to see an autopsy report on a loved one." " That's precisely why I want to see it." " Yes, sir, but..." " No buts." "I want to see that report." " I'm sorry, sir, but it's regulations." "You and I break regulations every day." "I want to see the autopsy, everything." "This is not just another case." "This is somebody I cared about." "I'm sorry, sir." " Do you know who I am?" " Yes, sir." " And you still refuse?" " I can't." "We'll see about that." "Come in." "Hey, Trish." "Do you want to talk to me?" "I've been thinking about Marcy." "Yeah." "So have I." " You knew, didn't you, Hugh?" " Mm?" " You knew she was having an affair." " Oh, no, no, no." "If I had, I could have maybe prevented what happened." " You're not telling me everything." " What do you mean?" "You can tell me." "You knew, didn't you?" "Mm." "Yeah." "And it hurt you, didn't it?" " Yes, it did." " Sure it did." " Did you kill her?" " What?" "You killed her, didn't you?" "What do you mean?" "You killed her, and you used me to help you." "Are you out of your mind?" "Ever since you borrowed my car and sent me on that assignment" "I've been trying to figure out why." "Now I know why." " So what are you gonna do about it?" " Do?" "What can I do?" "If I go to the police, I can be charged as an accessory before the fact." " You won't do anything?" " I didn't say that." "I trust that you'll give me that partnership you've promised me for three years." " Fine, but that's next year." " No." " Start of business tomorrow morning." " Trish, I mean..." "In deference to Marcy, don't you think we should wait till after the funeral - a couple of months?" "Not for the partnership." "I can wait six months for us to get married." " Married?" " It's for your own protection, Hugh." "As your wife I can't be forced to testify against you." "It's the best insurance you could have." "I have insurance." "You should have some too." "OK..." "What insurance do you have?" "Life insurance." "If I should fall out an office window, have a sudden heart attack, get bit by a rabid dog, an envelope like this one would turn up on all sorts of desks, including Lieutenant Columbo's." "Do we have a deal, partner?" " Yeah." " Good." "The chief will see you now, Lieutenant." "What have you got on the rock-singer case?" " It's a little early, Chief..." " I got a call from Creighton this morning." "He's an old friend of mine and an old friend of the mayor's." "You know who Hugh Creighton is, Columbo?" "Yes, sir." "And you know he's one of the most famous criminal attorneys in America?" "Yes, sir." "And you know he tried more murder cases than any other lawyer in the country?" "Yes, sir." "And, you know... he never lost a case." "Not one!" "Yes, sir." "You know he has a legitimate interest in this case, don't you?" "I do, sir, yes." "Then when he offered to help you solve it, why in the hell did you refuse his help?" " I didn't refuse his help..." " Good, good." "Glad to hear it." "Creighton's expecting you for dinner, 7 o'clock, at the Darrow Club." "And be sure to bring all the case files." "Understand?" " Yes, sir." " Good." "Oh, Columbo!" "Give you a little tip." "The Darrow Club has the best steaks in town." "New Yorks, an inch-and-a-half thick." " New York steaks?" " New Yorks." "Well, that sounds good." "Ah, Lieutenant." "How are you?" " I'm very well, sir." " Good." "Sit down, please." "Well, it's very good of you to come over." " It was very nice of you to ask me, sir." " My pleasure." " Are you ready to order, Mr Creighton?" " I, uh..." "Why don't you take a look, Lieutenant?" "I think I'm gonna go with the soup today." " Why don't we make it chicken noodle?" " Very good, sir." " You're just having soup, sir?" " Yes, I am, I think so." "I haven't had much of an appetite these last few days." "But you go ahead." "Have whatever..." "Well, I'm not too hungry myself, so let's see what they have here..." "How is that steak, that New York?" "That's the specialty of the house, sir." "Well, I'll have that - medium rare... and some asparagus with hollandaise sauce and roast potatoes." "Maybe to start with, a shrimp cocktail." " And some kind of a salad..." " Carl, bring him a Caesar." " You like Caesar salad?" " Caesar salad." " That sweet corn there, is that fresh?" " Yes, sir, it's fresh." " Uh..." "I'll have a piece of corn." " Very good, sir." "So..." "I, uh..." "I assume that is the report." " Oh, yes." "There it is." " Thank you very much." " Oh, that autopsy report..." " It's in there, sir." "Oh, good." "Good." "From this report..." "it's obvious what happened." "Marcy met somebody on the beach, invited him in for champagne and caviar." "After the second bottle of champagne, he made advances, she resisted." "It got out of hand and... he strangled her." "I just can't believe it." "I still can't believe it." "I don't think that she met him on the beach, sir." " What's your theory?" " I don't have a theory yet, but it looks like she knew who killed her and she knew him very well." " Why do you say that?" " Because of the statements in the report from the neighbours and the guys playing volleyball." "It seems that Miss Edwards was seeing the same man on a regular basis." "I happen to find that very hard to believe." "It's in the report, sir." "There were three neighbours and any number of volleyball players." "They all remembered seeing her car and a motorcycle in the driveway at the same time on several Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays." "Are you saying that Marcy was having an affair with another man?" "Sir, it said in the..." "Nothing in this report indicates she had sexual relations before she died." " In the report..." " I'm sorry, that's a little tough to take." "That's a little tough to take." " I don't want to hear it." " Let's drop it." "Why don't we do that?" "There's something in the file that was bothering me." " Maybe you can help me with this." " Sure." "You'll notice that in the autopsy report there was no alcohol in Mrs Edwards' bloodstream." "Obviously she didn't feel like drinking." "But we found two empty champagne bottles and two empty glasses, sir." "Uh..." "Could that have been the disulfiram?" "Disulfiram?" "What?" "It's there in the autopsy report." "They found traces of disulfiram in her bloodstream, but that's a pill that people with a drinking problem take when they don't want to drink." "So you can see my problem." "I think I might be able to help you out with that puzzle." "This is only conjecture, mind you, but..." "You see, I from time to time have a little drinking problem myself, and I happen to take a little disulfiram." "Marcy, on the other hand, was a vitamin nut." "Used to take 'em by the handful." "There's just an off chance she took one of my pills by mistake." "Oh, I see." "Yeah." "Yeah, that could explain it." "What about the champagne bottle, the fingerprints?" "Whose are they?" "We sent them to the FBI, sir." "If this person was ever in the service or any trouble with the law, we'll get him." "Well, I have to say..." " it is an excellent report." "Excellent." " Thank you very much." "When you do arrest this man, please do everything by the book." "I would hate to see Marcy's murderer get off because of some... stupid mistake." "And so would I, sir." " Yeah?" " Lieutenant Columbo, ma'am." " I'm from Homicide." " Yeah?" "Do you mind if I come in, look around?" " Wipe your feet." " Uh, yes, ma'am." "And I'll just leave the umbrella out here." "I should hope so." "Hey..." "Don't make a mess." "What are you lookin' for?" "A cork, ma'am." "Like this one?" " No cork." " No cork." "Could there be a cork in the garbage can outside?" " They're empty." " You're sure?" "The trashmen came yesterday." "Could you have put something in the garbage can this morning?" "No." "Could I see?" "Man, I'm glad I ain't married to you." " You don't trust nobody, do you?" " It's not that, ma'am." "It's a habit." "I like to see things with my own eyes." "See?" "Was the gardener here Wednesday, the day Miss Edwards died?" "No." "He only comes on Tuesday afternoons and Friday mornings." "So he was here today, and those are your footprints." "But when I first saw that herringbone pattern, somebody had raked some mish-mash over it." "But you said the gardener wasn't here that day." "Do you know his name?" "No, it's, uh..." "Japanese." "He comes real early, before me." "Hey!" "You satisfied these are empty or are you gonna come back again?" "No, they're empty, ma'am." "I saw 'em." "Huh!" "But don't mention it." ""Closer, Closer, Your Lips to Mine." She's the one." "He's in here." "Police person lookin' for you." "We got a make on those fingerprints." "He's been in trouble with women before." " Do you have an address on him?" " Not yet." "We got an APB out." "Good." "Listen, see if you can find Miss Edwards' gardener." "He comes Tuesdays and Fridays." "Maybe he works for somebody else in the neighbourhood." "Sir, there must be dozens of gardeners in Malibu." "Anything special about this one?" "He's Japanese." "The Matisse with the peach background on this wall." "The Picasso on that wall." "Yes, ma'am, you did mention that." "What about this beautiful bronze Indian?" " Gone." " Gone?" "As a matter of fact, all Indians, all buffaloes, all cowboys, in this room and all others, including Mr Creighton's bathroom, bye-bye." "Bye-bye, all cowboys and Indians." " Where are the plans to my bathroom?" " I have the floor plans." "Good, good, good." "Oh, this is beautiful!" "How much is it?" " How much?" "Uh..." " Never mind!" "I want it!" "Let's make drapes with this fabric for this room, and, Nigel, the same décor in here as in my office." "Hi, Lieutenant!" " Congratulations." " Thank you." "I saw the sign, "Creighton and Fairbanks"." " I assumed it was you." " It is me." "It's very exciting." "Now, the bathroom." "We'll have to knock down a wall." "A wall?" "For what reason, may I ask, ma'am?" " The Jacuzzi." " The Jacuzzi?" " Mr Creighton loves a Jacuzzi." " But isn't this your bathroom, ma'am?" "He'll have to wait." "Mr Creighton loves to wait." " Ma'am, could I see Mr Creighton?" " Sure." "Judy, ring Hugh." "Tell him the lieutenant's here." "Nigel, lots of flowers..." "Lieutenant Columbo to see you, Mr Creighton." "Uh..." "Yeah, send him in, please." " How are you, Lieutenant?" " I'm fine, sir." "What can I do for you today?" "Sir, I thought you'd like to know we matched up those fingerprints with the suspect." " Really?" " Yes, sir." " Excellent." " Yeah." " Excellent." " Is that..." " It is, isn't it?" " What?" " That's champagne!" " Oh, yeah." "Oh boy, that's a fine collection for a fella who doesn't drink much any more." " Are you a wine connoisseur?" " I wouldn't say that, sir, but these are all vintage wines." " Do you mind if I look?" " No." "Go right ahead." "Oh, yeah." "These are six years old." " That's 1985..." " Lieutenant, uh..." "Have you picked him up yet, this Neddy Malcolm?" "No, sir, but we will." "Did Miss Edwards know anybody by that name?" "I was just thinking." "Neddy Malcolm, that sounds, uh..." "Lieutenant, wait a minute." "This character used to play the drum..." "This was Marcy's drummer." "He was..." "But I don't think she's seen him for years." "Well, those are Malcolm's fingerprints, sir." "Well, Lieutenant, if this is who I think it is, this is one bad apple." "He's done it all." "Everything - booze, dope, women..." " He's got five assaults involving women." " Yeah." "He's got an attempted rape here three years ago." "That charge got dropped." " Not this time." "Not this time." " No, sir, no." "Lieutenant, here's my card." "This has got my home, answer service, car..." "Just as soon as you hear anything, will you call me?" "I will, sir." " Can I keep this?" " That's yours, sir." "You keep that." "This is excellent, really." "Oh, sir, I know this is none of my business, but your new partner doesn't plan to redo this office too, does she?" "Cos I like it." "I like it just... just the way it is." "I hear you." " Good day, sir." " Thanks, Lieutenant." "Sir..." "Take a minute." "Uh..." "Out at your beach house, there by your kitchen, you have a radio-cassette player." "Uh..." "Would you ever consider..." "selling that to someone?" "No." "Great office, sir." "He was seen going into apartment 21." ""D Glinski."" " Who is it?" " Police!" "OK." "Just a minute." "Excuse me, sir." "There you go, Sam." "Take it easy." " What'll it be, sport?" " I'm looking for Darlene Glinski." " Why?" " You don't wanna know." " What are you, a cop or something?" " Something." "That's Darlene there." " That's Darlene?" " That's Darlene." "You wanna talk to her, go through the door there and down the stairs." "Watch your step." "It's dark down there." " Another grasshopper, Mike." " Sure." " Hi." " Hi." " Darlene Glinski?" " Yeah." " How you doing?" " What do you want, mister?" " I'm looking for Neddy Malcolm." " I don't know any Neddy Malcolm." "Oh..." "OK." "Well, just in case you run into him, tell him that a friend of..." "Johnny Fewhairs is looking for him, wants to give him the money Johnny owes him." "Tell him I'll be back in town around the Super Bowl." "I'll look him up then." "Wait." "You might find Neddy at the LA Rockbox." " At the LA Rockbox?" " Yeah." " Ask for Little Richard." " Ask for Little Richard." " Hey, Richard!" "You got a minute?" " Who are you?" "I'm looking for Neddy." "I'm to meet him here." "Haven't seen him in 10, 12 weeks, but I'll put the word out." "Neddy's a good drummer when he's behaving, if you know what I mean." "I do." " What do you want with him?" " I got money for him." " Money?" " Yeah, it's from Johnny Fewhairs." " No kidding?" " Yeah." "First time anyone gave Neddy money of their own free will." "Well, Johnny" " Mr Fewhairs - is a man of his word." "Sounds like he's a man of many, many words to me." "Too many." " Rich!" " Yeah?" " Is that you?" " Yeah, who is that?" " It's me." " Ooh!" "Hey, man!" "Where you been?" "I've been trying to reach you." "You don't call back or nothing." " How you doing?" " I'm doing good." " I really miss you." " I miss you, man." " Hi." " Hi." "I gotta get me a new drummer." "The dude I got can't keep a beat." " Do you want to go to Chicago with us?" " Chicago?" " Yeah." "When?" " Tomorrow night." " You got a deal." " Great." "This man got money for you." "He got it from Johnny Fewhairs." " Is he really bald?" " For me?" " He must be with that name." " You got money for me?" " Johnny Fewhairs?" " I'm afraid not." "Is that his nickname?" "Oh, no." "I don't have any cuffs." "Will I need 'em?" "Hey!" "What's happenin' here?" "No, no, no, no." " I didn't kill her." " You claim you loved this woman?" "Yeah." "We were in love." "Whatever that means." "I don't think you know what love is." "If you were so much in love, how come you only saw her Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?" "Marcy had a good thing going with Creighton." "Money, cars, jewels, whatever she wanted." "She didn't want to blow it until she'd worked out the finances..." "She wanted money from him?" "They'd been together five years and he was gonna dump her." " Did Creighton know about you two?" " I don't know." "It wouldn't have been hard for him to find out." "Did you kill her?" "I don't know what happened, Lieutenant." "I blacked out." "When I came to, Marcy... was dead." "That's all I know." "Yeah." " Sam Marlowe?" " I charge 150 an hour." " 150?" " 750 minimum for domestic cases." " Oh..." " Fill that out." "You need a pen?" "I'm afraid you have it wrong, sir." "I'm not having any trouble with my wife." " Heaven forbid." " Then what do you want, Mr, uh..." "Columbo." "Lieutenant Columbo, LAPD." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah!" "I knew I'd seen you somewhere before." "You're out on that rock singer's murder, aren't you?" "I saw you on TV." "So why are you knocking on Sam Marlowe's door?" "I understand that you're Mr Hugh Creighton's private investigator." " Handle all his cases, do you?" " You know I can't reveal clients' names." "Uh-huh." "Yeah, well, I can understand that." "Here's my problem." "I'm working on a homicide case, and I would appreciate all the help I can get." "Yeah." "Sorry, Lieutenant." "Professional ethics." "Ethics are important." "No question about that." "Yeah." "They sure are." "Lieutenant, that's private." "Uh-huh." "How come all those Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons are blank?" "Will I have to take this camera to the lab to see if this white paint on this lens... is the same as the white paint on the air duct in Miss Edwards' bedroom, or are you gonna answer my questions?" "Oh, Lieutenant!" "Not now, I'm in a hurry." "Sorry." " Uh, no problem, sir." " I've got an appointment." "I just dropped by to tell you that we found Neddy Malcolm." "Great." "That's great." " You read him his rights before, uh..." " Oh, yes, sir." "We did that." " And?" " And what, sir?" " Well, don't be naive." "Did he confess?" " No, sir." "No, he didn't." "Frankly, sir, I don't think he did it." "Oh, Lieutenant." "Why don't you come with me?" "Come on, get in." "Hurry up, if you're coming." " Those are Malcolm's fingerprints, right?" " Uh..." "Yes, sir." "Well, that puts him at the scene of the crime." "Well, he admits that he was there, sir." " He was there, but he didn't do it?" " He passed out." "He had two, three glasses of champagne and he blacked out." "When he came to, there she was." "He panicked and he ran." "And you believe him?" "Watch the car!" " You believe him?" " I think so." "I don't think he did it." "You think you believe him?" "He admits he was there, he's had trouble with women, and you don't think he did it?" "I don't think he did it." " Should I wait here?" " No, come with me." "It'll take five minutes to send my client down." " Hi, Trish." "You know the lieutenant." " Hi, Hugh." "I didn't know you were involved in this case." "No, ma'am." "The other case." "They picked up Neddy Malcolm, did you hear that?" "But the lieutenant thinks they got the wrong man." "Why is that?" "Well, the problem is those fingermarks on the neck were very big, and it turns out the guy was wearing gloves." "Big work gloves." " Work gloves?" " Yeah." "The marks on the neck were glove marks." "But his fingerprints were on the champagne bottle, so it don't add up." "Why would a fella be so careful to put on gloves when he strangled the victim and then leave his fingerprints all over the bottle?" "Lieutenant, please." "This place is full of people who make stupid mistakes." " It's just a stupid mistake." " Yeah." "Yeah, that can happen." "Uh..." "There's something else that's been bothering me, sir." "What's that?" "I don't know why you said you didn't know Miss Edwards was seeing Neddy Malcolm when you knew it all the time." "Sam Marlowe." "He's a private investigator." "He had a camera out there at the beach house." "Why'd you tell me you didn't know?" "Well, it's, uh..." "You're right, I should have." "It's just I was..." "It wasn't easy to admit she was having an affair with the likes of Neddy Malcolm." " I don't know." "It was tough." " I see." "Hey, Bellingham." "How you doing?" "You are in my seat." "Oh!" "Sorry." " Lieutenant, good to see you." " Well, I won't stay." " Bye-bye." " Ma'am." "Lieutenant." "I've got good news and bad news." "Which do you want first?" "Give me the bad news first." "I checked with the neighbours, and no one saw Creighton or his car anywhere near the beach house the day she was killed." "What's the good news?" "I found the gardener." ""Thank you" would be nice." "Thank you!" "Uh-uh..." "No, no, no, no, please." "Please, no touch." "I'm from the police." "LAPD." "Is your name Andy Miyaki?" "Ando Miaki." " Ando Miaki." "Gardener?" " Gardener." "Mrs Creighton - gardener?" "Creighton - gardener." "And you work for her on Wednesday?" "Mrs Creighton" " Tuesdays, Fridays." " You're sure?" " Tuesdays, Fridays." "See?" "Tuesdays, Fridays" " Mrs Creighton." "Uh-huh." "No Wednesday?" "Wednesday, work Rockingham." "That was day truck move." "Truck move?" "Your truck moved?" "Moved two blocks to long street of trees that rained berries." "Street that rained berries?" "Oh..." "Your truck was on Rockingham and it moved two blocks to a street... that has these berries." "Oh!" "Where's that street?" "La Mesa." "OK." "Excuse me." "I'm gonna have to check your truck for fingerprints." "I'm gonna check your truck... fingerprints." "Fingerprints." "Yeah, that's right." "That's right." "So what can I do for you today, Lieutenant?" "Well, sir, what I want to do is cut right to the heart of this thing." " Ooh..." "Do you mind, sir?" " No." "Not at all." "Uh..." "You know, Neddy blacked out." "If it wasn't the champagne, it had to be something, and I'm saying it was a knockout drug." "But there was nothing in the lab report that said there was a knockout drug in the bottles or the glasses, right?" "All they had to do was empty the bottle and glasses and wash 'em out." " That's simple, sir." " But then there would not have been champagne in the bottles and glasses, and the fact is there was." "That's because the perpetrator took a second bottle of champagne and he poured it into the first bottle and the glass." "I mean, the man's not a dope." "You see, for me, sir, the real question is... how does someone administer a knockout drug, Mr Creighton?" "I don't have the slightest idea." "Well, I'm gonna say he used a syringe and he injected it through the cork into the champagne bottle." "Uh..." "Is that possible?" " Oh, yeah, they can do that, sir." " Yeah?" "But then you gotta get rid of the cork because of the needle mark, which he did." " Hm..." " Now, these are the two bottles that we found at the scene of the crime." "Are you with me, sir?" "Well, I guess..." "I think..." "I think so." " I think so." " Well, sir, look at the label." "Just above the name Champagne du Bois there's one little star, right?" "Yes." "One star." " Both bottles." " Mm-hm." "And I checked the liquor store where Miss Edwards bought all her alcohol and that's the only kind of champagne she ever bought." "Champagne du Bois, one star." "Which is a lot cheaper than the vintage champagne, the two-star." " Right, sir?" " It's a lot cheaper, yeah." "Which brings me to the corks." " The corks." " Yes, sir." "They use one star for the cheap one and two stars for the good stuff." "I'll bet you never noticed that, did you, sir?" "Mm..." "Well, here, let me show you." "This is 1985." "That was a good year." " This cost me $175." " I'm well aware of that." "I just hope the captain will okay it on my expense account." "You see there?" "Two stars." "Yup." " And two stars on the label." " You got it." "Which is just like, if I remember correctly, uh..." "I think I do." "Oh, I looked at that very closely." "All the labels on your bottles - two stars." "Well, now, are you implying that, uh..." "that bottle came from my stock?" "Well, sir, I don't think I can rule that out." "Are you also implying that maybe I had something to do with it?" "Uh, yes, sir." "I think that's a real possibility." "Mm-hm." "Well, I tell you what, Lieutenant." "Why don't you take your corks and, uh... get the hell outta here?" "Ooh!" " You've done it now." " What'd I do?" "I don't know." "All I know is I got a call from the DA." "No deputies, the DA himself called and told me to get up to his office and bring that bleeping cop, meaning you." "Oh, Everett..." "I've studied the case file." "He's got enough to indict." "Fingerprints place the suspect at the scene of the crime at the time of the murder." "A suspect..." "A suspect previously charged with sex crimes." "A suspect who admits that he was there, but he claims he doesn't remember what happened." "He might have killed her, he might not have." "Does the lieutenant here believe he did it?" "No." "He thinks I did it." "Why?" "Because I had a private investigator... confirm that the woman that I..." "loved was having an affair with another man and I chose not to reveal the..." "sordid details of that investigation to the police." "What else?" "Oh, corks." "Champagne corks." "Right?" "Corks with one star, two stars..." "He's got a cork from a bottle of champagne that he paid $175 for with taxpayers' money." "Why did he do that?" "Because he saw a similar bottle in my wine vault." "Now, if you want to tell that to a jury, go ahead and indict me." "Let's just see what happens when my colleague from Idaho here and my partner get the lieutenant on the stand with his corks and his $175 bottle of champagne." "All right, Hugh." "You got anything else, Lieutenant?" "Just a lot of little things." "Nothing that's gonna stand up in court." "But I know he did it." "I know he killed that girl." "See?" "Now you know what kind of lunatic I'm dealing with." "He's got lots of little things, but he knows that I killed Marcy." "He knows that?" "I'd be very happy, sir, if you could prove I was wrong." "Just how could I do that?" "By just telling me where you were when Miss Edwards was killed." "Whoa, now." "Mr Creighton's not here to answer any questions, Lieutenant." "That's right, but maybe we can clear this up." "Correct me if I'm wrong, but the time of death was Wednesday between three and four." " Is that correct, Lieutenant?" " That's correct, sir." "Well, I was in my car." " In your car." " Yeah." " Alone?" " Alone." " Nobody was with you?" " Nobody with me." " Where were you?" " I was driving back to my office." "I'd been at the Huntington Museum." " That's in Pasadena, isn't it?" " That's right." " Pasadena's 50 miles from the beach." " Yes, ma'am." "While you were driving, did you see anybody that could identify you?" "While I was driving?" " Yes." " No, Lieutenant, I didn't." "Did you stop in a gasoline station or anything?" "No." " Did you get a cup of coffee?" " No." "Did you make or receive any telephone calls from your carphone?" " If you did, the phone company..." " Would have a record of it." " No calls, Hugh?" " No phone calls." " None at all?" " None." "Then you have no alibi." "No, Everett." "No, I have no alibi." "So what are you gonna do?" "You gotta choose now, don't you?" "Let me tell you something." "That woman meant everything to me." "And I would hate to see her name smeared across front pages." "And that's up to you." "The ball is in your court." "Well..." "let me think about it, Hugh." "We've got these corks, you don't have an alibi..." "Let me take that back, OK?" "Don't think about it." "I'll just see you in court." "It'll be fun." "Hugh!" "Wait a minute." "Just a minute." "What time did you say Marcy was killed?" "Between three and four, ma'am." "Then that's what he said." "Between three and four he was in Pasadena." "There's no question about it." "This proves it." "Just look at it." "Oops." " You wanna let us in on it, Hugh?" " Yes, I think I do." "Why don't you take that over to him?" "It's a speeding ticket he got in Pasadena which proves he was a long way from the beach house at 3:33pm on Wednesday." "He got a speeding ticket around about the time Miss Edwards was killed" " and you waited till now to bring it out?" " I got it in the mail this morning." " It's good I remembered." " In the mail?" "It's a speeding ticket." "It's not a ticket you get when a policeman stops you and gives it to you." "It's a new gadget." "There's a picture here." "They take it while you're speeding and... they send it to you in the mail." "Not a very good picture of me, is it, Lieutenant?" "But, uh... yet there I am, caught in a Pasadena speed trap." "I think it's precisely at the hour you were hoping I was at the beach, right?" "Ah..." "Any more... any more questions?" "No..." "No, sir." "No more questions." " I guess you win again." " I guess I do, Lieutenant." "Oh, but you know?" "There's one thing that bothers me." "That ticket, now..." "I don't see any way of beating that." "This may be the first case I ever lost in my life." "Well..." "Oh, goodbye, Everett." "Hey!" "There's a line here." "What's the matter with you?" "Hey!" "There's a line over here!" "Officer!" "Officer!" "I'm with..." "Excuse me, ma'am." "I'm with the force." " Yeah." "What force?" " No, seriously." "Seriously." "I'm with the police force." " Homicide." " What can I do for you, Lieutenant?" "I want to ask you about this speeding ticket." "Lieutenant, as much as I'd like to help, this is a radar ticket." "There's nothing that can be done." "100% conviction rate." " Just pay the fine." " This is not my ticket." "Uh..." "What I want to know, is that a real ticket?" "Why would anybody fake a $150 speeding ticket?" "Well, I wanna be sure this is not a counterfeit ticket." "Looks real to me." "You wanna be sure, see the company that operates the system." "They got the film from the cameras." " What's the number on that ticket?" " 052-791-CD-2245." "Oh, yeah." "Date, time and speed." "See, that looks real, doesn't it?" "But this is on a computer." "Do you have the film from the camera that this picture was taken from?" "Oh, yeah." "We keep the negatives in the vault." "This picture is taken directly from the film." "Can you blow this picture up?" "Just the head." " A big head." " Sure." "Yeah, that's him." "All right." "Now, um..." "This ticket is one ticket on a roll of film with a bunch of other tickets." "Could the roll of film be tampered with?" "Could you add a ticket?" "Or could you substitute one ticket for another?" "Not so that we wouldn't be able to tell." "Each frame is numbered consecutively." "Let me show you." " Now, this is your ticket. 2245." " Right." "This is 2244." " This is your ticket again - 2245." " Right." "And this is 2246." "They're consecutive." "There's no way anyone could have tampered with the film." "All right." "Can you make a blow-up of some of the drivers that got a ticket about the same time as Mr Creighton?" "Sure." "There they are, Lieutenant." "The radar gun and the camera are up there." "Any car that exceeds the speed limit, that triggers the system, and smile - you're on Candid Camera." " And it's all automatic?" " Yep." " I'll get it ready." " OK." "You know, all the years I had this car, this is the first time I ever had the top down." "OK, go!" "OK, you can slow down now." " Just slow down." "OK?" " All right." "He's here." "His car just pulled up." "Relax, honey." "We've got nothing to worry about." "This better be important." "We're on our way out." "Well, it is important." " What is it?" " There's something I want to show you." "Can I come in?" "He says it's important." "He wants to come in." "Well, tell him..." "tell him to come in." "You'll have to excuse us." "We're running late." "I appreciate that, sir." "You threw me with that speeding ticket." "I couldn't figure out how you could be in two places at the same time." "You said this was important." "Where you were the night of the murder, sir, I think that's important." "Are we going over that again?" "I was in Pasadena getting a speeding ticket." "I know it looks that way, and the ticket does have the time and date on it, but, you see, I got these photographs and I've put these very..." "Ma'am, would you like to see these pictures?" "Just take a minute." "Do you see anything unusual in these pictures?" " No." " No?" " You don't see anything?" " No." "It's what I just said." "No." " Getting my jacket, Hugh." "We're late." " OK, honey." "Sir?" "Would you be interested in looking at these pictures?" "I don't know, Lieutenant." "What are they?" "Well, this one is a blow-up of your picture on your speeding ticket." "Yeah." "And this one is a blow-up of another driver in a convertible taken four minutes before your ticket." "Mm-hm." "Mm-hm." "Do you notice the shadow under her nose, sir?" "Yeah." "But there's no shadow under your nose, Mr Creighton." " None." " So?" "If you'd just look at this other photograph." "This one is of me, and this was taken today at the exact same place and the same time." "You'll notice the same shadow under my nose." "But there's no shadow under your nose, Mr Creighton." "None." "Proving what?" "Proving that that is not you in that picture, that's someone else wearing a mask." "Someone like who?" "Maybe your new partner." "Oh, now we're getting ridiculous, aren't we?" "Where would I get a mask of myself?" "And even if I did, there would still be a shadow under the nose, right?" "I think I can explain that, sir." "Would you mind coming with me?" "Sir..." "I think you'd better come with me." "Appreciate your coming out, sir." "It makes it, uh... easier to explain." "Just take a minute." "I gotta get something from the car." "Oh!" "Got it right here." "Had it in my pocket." "Forgotten." "You see, sir?" "There's no shadow." "That's just a photograph." "That's just a flat... cut-out photograph." "Just like the one you had, sir." "And that's why there's no shadow." "That's very interesting, but you still haven't placed me at the beach house." "The gardener's truck is gonna do that, sir." "What gardener's truck?" "The gardener's truck that you drove to the beach house and back." "You see, the glove marks on Miss Edwards' neck, they matched the glove marks on the seat-adjustment lever on the truck." " This Miss Fairbanks' car?" " Yeah." "I thought it was." "Oh, I got a search warrant here to search this windshield-wiper well." "Mr Creighton, there's no way you could have known this... but there's only one place in all west Los Angeles that these berries could have come from at this time of the year." "And that's on La Mesa... the street of trees... that rains berries, where you parked this car when you stole the gardener's truck." "You're under arrest, sir, suspicion of murder." "Thank you, Sergeant." "Oh!" "Gee, I almost forgot." "I gotta read you your rights, cos, uh... wanna make sure we don't make any mistake." ""You have the right to remain silent."" "You know, anything that you say, they can hold that against you." ""You have the right to retain a lawyer."" ""You have the right..." What the hell is that?"