"Deep in the heart of Africa is a place no man has ever entered." "A place that belongs to the lion, the elephant and the ape." "A place known as the Bukuvu." "Travellers flying overhead can only glimpse at its many marvels:" "its sparkling rivers... its lush veldts, its billowy cloud formations... and its hidden mountains." " Never fear, my friends." " George!" " George!" " All was not lost." " George!" "Scraped and boo-booed, they searched high and low... but they never recovered their most precious cargo." "# George, George George of the Jungle #" "# Strong as he can be #" "# Watch out for that tree #" "# George, George George of the Jungle #" "# Lives a life that's free #" "# Watch out for that tree #" "# When he gets in a scrape he makes his escape #" "# With help from his friend an ape named Ape #" "# And his elephant Shep can fetch a log #" "# He's man's best friend He's George's dog #" "# He's George, George George of the Jungle #" "# Strong as he can be #" "# Watch out for that tree #" "# Hear him holler swing and sing #" "# All the animals come to the jungle king #" "# George, George George of the Jungle #" "# George, George George of the Jungle #" "# So grab a vine and swing in time #" "# If you smack a tree just pay no mind #" "# Like George, George George of the Jungle #" "# Strong as he can be #" "Watch out for that tree #" "# Watch out for that..." "Bang!" "Ooh!" "Tree #" "# George, George George of the Jungle #" "# Watch out for that tree #" "Twenty-five years later, the bouncing baby boy... has grown into a swinging jungle king." "He is swift." "He is strong." "He is sure." "He is smart." "He is unconscious." "Meanwhile, 43 vines away..." "George's kingdom was being threatened by a terrifying intruder." "Hi, everybody." "Me again." "Third day in Mbwebwe." "Look at this incredible..." " Banyan tree." " Banyan tree." "And look what's in it." "Could you die?" "And over here... is the outhouse, which you don't want to see, believe me." "By the way, Betsy, thank you so much for those moist towelettes." "They've been a lifesaver." "And these are the wonderful porters." "Wave, guys." "And this is our guide, Mr Kwame." "Without him, we would be lost." "Hi." "This is great." " And this is Lyle." " Hello, Bujumburans." " What are you doing here?" " What kind of greeting is that to give your fiance?" " Aren't you happy to see me?" " Yeah, of course I am." "The jungle loves you." "You're beautiful." " How did you find me?" " Well, I just hired the two best trackers in the business." "Ah, I'm chafing, Max." "Ah, yeah, I'm chafing big time." "Didn't I tell you not to wear 20 pounds of black leather in the jungle?" " Didn't I tell ya?" " Ah." "Cotton, I said." "Cotton breathes." "Take my things to the lady's tent and shake a leg." "Later that night, Lyle Van de Groot lost no time in making arrangements..." " to whisk his wayward fiancee back home." " All right, I'll take it, I'll take it." "Nairobi Hilton." "They can airlift us there in two hours." "Pillows, okay?" "Wait a second." "I'm losing you." "Bad reception here." "Okay, I've got you back." "No, wait!" "I'm losing you!" "My batteries are dead!" "No!" "Doody!" "I don't want to go anyway, Lyle." "Tomorrow we're gonna.... climb the mountain where the big apes are." "Don't you wanna see them?" "Only if they can shake a good gin martini without bruising it." "Hiyo!" "Me and Thor here would be happy to help you and the lady up the mountain,Mr Van de Groot." " Yeah." " With Mr Kwame leading the way, of course." "If you don't mind me saying so, the apes are supposed to be a fascinating sight, especially that white ape." "White ape?" "What's that?" "Ask Mr Kwame." "I bet he can tell you." " It is only a native legend." " Could you please tell us?" "The people say he is over seven feet tall... with the strength of a lion." "When the moon is full and the air is sweet... he wanders alone through the jungle... piercing the silence of the valley with his mournful call." "Now, some say he is thirsty for blood." "Others say he is calling for the mate that he longs for... but will never find." "By day, he rules the entire Bukuvu from the top of the mountain." "But by night..." "He and Bigfoot run the candy counter at the Bukuvu Cineplex." "Now playing on all 14 screens:" "Planet of the Apes." "Bigfoot?" "Max, that'd be worth a lot more than any white..." " Ursula, what are we doing here?" " Lyle, I came all this way..." "Okay, okay." "The things I do for you." "Looks like we're on, fellows." "As the sun rose over Ape Mountain... its agitated inhabitants sent an urgent message to George by bongo-gram... warning the jungle king that intruders were close afoot." "Ooh." "Lyle, listen." "What was that?" "Could be the mating call of the white ape." "Huh." "White ape." "Sounds like a drink." "Uh, yes, bartender." "I'll have two Black Russians and a white ape." "A drink the venal Van de Groot would be begging to imbibe... if he only knew how near the white ape was at that very moment... flying through the foliage, surveying the scenery, cruising in... for a closer look and swinging on through the trees with effortless ease." "Ow!" "And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged... on feverish footsies over perilous paths." "When they finally beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, they reacted with awe." " Aww." " I said "awe." A-W-E." " Ooh!" " That's better." "Single file on the bridge." "Step very cautiously." "It is full of rotten planks." "One false move, you could fall over." "Then you will have a very long time to wave goodbye." "Don't you worry, peanut." "I was on a bridge like this in Maui." "It was steady as a rock." "See?" "Hey!" "S-Stop!" "Stop that!" "Stop that!" "What th..." "Yee-haw!" " I got you." " No!" "Don't worry." "Nobody dies in this story." "They just get really big boo-boos." "What did I tell you?" "You know, they shouldn't let inexperienced guides like that on these treks." "Did you see the look that guy just gave me?" "Probably saying I'm the biggest jerk they've ever seen in their lives." "Probably trying to think of something evil to do to me." "If they turn on us, we're never gonna get home." "It's up to me to make the peace." "I'm going in." "Gentlemen." "Cigar, cigarette?" "Okay, gifts from America." " Hey, hey." " I give you a cigar, you give me some of your lands." "All right." "A first contact has been made." "Ready, aim..." "There you go, my man." "Huh?" "You like magic fire?" "Do ya?" "Well, get a load of this." "There you go." "Magic picture." "Yet another gift from America." "Here you go." "You're welcome." "Thirty-five millimetre." "Translation, please." "He says that he likes your magic pictures... but he prefers the resolution of the Leica 35 millimetre transparencies." "He also says your lens is dirty, but he has the equipment to clean it for you." "Well, tell him to clean this while he's at it." " Come on, let's go." " Where?" "Find you an ape, so we can get the heck outta here." "Lyle, we can't go into the jungle alone." "We could get lost out here." "It's my job to get you what you want." "You want a double decaf latte with mocha sprinkles... you will get a double decaf latte with mocha sprinkles." "You want a white ape, I'll get you a white ape." "Here, monkey, monkey, monkey." "Here, gorilla, gorilla." "Come on." " Don't move." " You mean I actually found one?" "It worked?" " God, that scared me." " Scared me, too." "I'm gonna go get help." "You wait here." "Oh, no." "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." "When lion brush last?" "Don't tickle." "Don't ti..." "No..." "Rubber tree always good for clothesline." "Upsy, kitty." "George not even trying hard." "Flying pile driver." "Havin' some fun now." "Bad kitty!" " That close one, huh?" " Watch out for that tree!" "Huh?" "Oops." "Funny-looking fella." "White ape." "Y..." "Y..." "U-Ursula!" "Ursu..." "Wha..." "Ursula, I found your scrunchie." "Go away!" "It was horrible." "It was... 400-pound white ape man." "The white ape has my girlfriend." "I held him off as long as I could." "Blood everywhere." "The white ape... my girlfriend." "He..." "He weighs 400 pounds." "The white ape got my girlfriend!" "The white ape got..." "Help!" "Help!" "Man needs help!" "After a night of feverish fantasies... the perfectly permed heiress, Ursula Stanhope... awoke to the melodious music of the Bukuvu bird life, and found herself... venturing forth in search of that defender of the innocent... protector of the weak, and all-around good guy..." "George of the Jungle." "But that's not who she saw first." "What!" "Get away!" "Get away!" "Get away!" " Hello." "Oop!" " Oh, dear." "Feeling better, fella?" "Okay." "It's that dream, then." "I'm still having that psycho dream." "Hello." " Oh." "Oh." " Oh, no, no!" "Don't worry!" "Ape friend." " Ape make your breakfast." " What does it want?" "What does it want?" ""lt" wants its Physician's Desk Reference, if you don't mind." "Unless you'd rather die of dengue fever, of course." "That is very funny!" "I thought I heard the monkey talk." "But that is totally understandable, right?" "I mean, why wouldn't an ape read textbooks?" "And why wouldn't I find myself in a tree house... with room service and a Tarzan wannabe, wearing a, um, um..." " What do you call that thing?" " Butt flap." "Right." "Ohh..." "Ooh!" "Bit of a shock, I suppose." "Yes." "Fever." "Cold compress." "Dab her lightly, George." ""Talking monkey."" "That's the ticket." "Good." "Huh?" "Somethin' funny about this fella." "She's not a "fella," George." "She's a woman, the female of your species." "You mean Ape and George not brothers?" "Well, in a sense, we are related." "After all, we're both members of the primate family." "Primate family." "Brothers." "I suppose one might claim that there would..." "Mommy, make that monkey stop talking." "Perhaps I should refrain from speaking around her, as it seems to upset her." " What your name?" " Ursula." "Ursula Stanhope." " Who are you?" " George." "George Primate." "And that brother Ape." "Ape Primate." "Ah!" "Oh, um..." "Okay, I'm gonna pass out again now." "Bye." "It's a sissy white ape." "I would've choked the life out of him... except that he had two of his lion buddies jump me from behind." "So in this version, there are two lions with the white ape?" "A minute ago, there was only one." "H-Hey, the important thing, Kwame, is that I was outnumbered." "Absolutely." "Ursula!" "Hi." "When I woke up this morning, I remembered about that lion... and I know you saved me yesterday." " And I just wanted to say thank you." " Ah!" "Ooh!" "Now that I'm feeling better, I realize the others must think I'm cat food by now." "And I don't want my flan..." "this guy that I was with... to worry." "So, so I should probably go and look for them... and I was wondering if you could help me." "Uh..." "Ursula want to go already?" "Okay, George help." "Get trusty doggy." "Oh, you have a dog." "That's great." "Doggy will help find friends." "George call Shep." "Shep!" "Here, boy!" "Come on!" "Here, boy." "Shep!" "Here comes Shep." "Come on, Shep!" "Come on, boy!" "That a boy!" "Want to play?" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Good boy." "Come on, boy!" "Come on!" "Good boy, Shep!" "Come on!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!" "Sit." "Sit." "Good boy!" "Good obedience training." " George trained from pup." " That's your dog?" "This Shep, George's big, grey, peanut-lovin' poochie." "Good boy, Shep!" "Good boy." "Good boy, Shep." "Good boy." " That's a good boy." "Wanna shake?" " Huh?" " Good doggy." "Be nice." " Shep." "Shake?" "George." "George." "George!" " See?" "Shep shake." " Oh, George." "He's a big poochie, all right." "Does he fetch?" "Here, boy." "Come on, boy." "Want a stick?" "Want a stick?" "Where's the stick?" "Where's the stick, Shep?" "Here it is." "Here, boy." "Fetch!" "Come on, boy!" "Run, run!" "Run, boy!" "Atta boy!" "Good boy." "Go on, boy!" "Go get it!" "Where'd he go?" " Wow!" " No, not in the roses!" "Ungawa, Shep!" "And so, with the help of the jungle king's big, grey... peanut-loving poochie, George and Ursula set out... on a desperate search to find her fianc... uh, that guy she was with..." "Lyle!" "Lyle!" " Ursula!" "Ursula!" " While he desperately searched for her." "But by the end of the afternoon her desperation had dimmed..." "That was fantastic!" "and she had given up all hope of everything... except enjoying the jungle king's company from her precarious perch a top his faithful doggy." " So, where are we going now?" " To find Tookie-Tookie bird for jungle news." "Tookie-Tookie bird." "I love that." "Later they rested, while the tired tusker teethed on a..." "Wait a second." "The dog bone is too much." "Lose it." "That's better." "Bongo-gram." "What could it mean?" "Tookie-Tookie!" "Tookie say little monkey in trouble." "George investigate." "Tookie-Tookie!" "What happened?" " Oh!" " Where other monkeys?" "Where?" "There?" "How many?" "That many?" "Lots of monkey." "Then what happened?" "Tell George more." "No!" "Little monkey say other monkeys call little monkey "runt."" " Not let little monkey play games." " Poor thing." "Hi, monkey." "H-Hi." "You okay?" "No." "Don't cry." "Huh." "Little monkey like Ursula." " What did you tell him?" " Just watch." "Uh-oh!" "Meanwhile, back at a really big footprint in the mud..." "Let me through." "What's happening?" "This footprint does not belong to any of my men." "See?" "There's your proof." "The white ape does exist." "Now all we have to do is track down the girl and the ape's in the bag." "N-No, seriously." "I don't know if I want to do this again." "Ursula need to relax when it come to vine swinging, for George." "Swing, swing, swing." "Come on." "Want George of Jungle to tell you special vine-swinging secret?" "Fine." "Tell me all your secrets." "George's secrets." "Hm!" "There's the shortest book ever written." " Oh." " Wrap it around your sock for special George of Jungle foot lock." " Now, ready to try again?" " No." " Like this, Ursula!" " # He flies through the air with the greatest of ease #" "# Our daring young man on the flying trapeze #" " Look, no hands!" " # His movements so graceful All girls he could please #" "# And with love he is swinging away #" " # He flies through the air with the greatest of ease #" " That's pretty good." " George, watch out for that..." " # Our daring young man on the... # tree." "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the king of the jungle." "Where the devil is my egg timer?" " Tookie-Tookie." " Tookie!" "I'm fed up with this felonious fowl stealing everything in the kitchen." " Miserable creature." " Tookie-Tookie." "George, what on earth are you doing?" "George just feel like looking a little special today, that all." "Possibly there is a stirring of special feelings within you?" "Uh-huh." "George having stirring of special feelings right now." "I see." " Good thing she same species, huh?" " Yes." "Ape?" "Tell George how to make Ursula George's mate." "Please?" "Brother?" "First, command her attention by bulging out your cheeks and pursing your lips." " Show George." " All right." "Just like this." "Watch." "Even puffier." "Next, display your interest by drawing back your upper lip... jutting your jaw forward and exposing your teeth." " Like this?" "Like this?" "Right?" " Now, throw a handful of leaves in the air... then leap about and hoot in a dominant fashion." " Like this, Ape?" " Good." "She won't be able to resist that." "Ursula!" "Gosh, this trail's really rough." ""Ursula!" "Ursula!"" " Hey, come back here." " They're not abandoning us, are they?" "They are threatening." "If you don't mind, Kwame..." "I have a knack for getting the most out of my employees." " Do you mind if I address the porters?" " They only speak Swahili." "Well, I just happen to have a Swahili phrase book." "Be my guest." "I think our troubles are over." "Tell them I'll pay 50 zamoles a man if they'll help me capture the white ape and bring him back alive." "Alive?" "After he, uh..." "Well, he pulled Ursula's scrunchie off, we know that much." " 50 zamoles a man." "What do you say?" " They only speak Swahili." "One hundred zamoles a man and you got a deal." " Hey, wait a second." " Done." "Meanwhile, at a very big and expensive waterfall set..." "Ursula was amazed that she was lost in the wilderness with a jungle man." "Here I am, lost in the wilderness with a jungle man." "I should be terrified that no one will ever find me, but I'm not." " Thank you." " For what?" "For this adventure." "It's what I've always wanted." "King of jungle only here to help." "# Mr Boombastic #" "# The awesome, boombastic romantic, fantastic lover #" "# Sade #" "# Mr Lover-Lover #" " # Mr Lover-Lover #" " George, are you okay?" " # Mr Lover-Lover #" " Your face is swelling up like..." " # Ah, Mr Lover-Lover #" " Is something in my teeth?" "Okay." "Listen, um..." "I'm gonna step outside for a little air, okay?" " Are you sure you threw the leaves?" " Yeah, George threw leaves." "Well, cheer up, old boy." "I spent all day... poring through every book in the library... and finally I found this." "It's positively packed full of human courtship rituals." "Listen." ""What's a nice girl like you... doing in a plane like this?"" "Go for it." " Hi." " Hi." "What..." "Oh." " Did you fight a crocodile for this?" " Oh." "No, George not fight." "Crocodile have toothache." "George pull tooth." "Crocodile give to George after." "Gift." "Good juju." " Juju?" " Good luck." "Protection." "I have something like that too." "Want to see?" "It's not worth anything." "I found it in a cereal box when I was ten years old." "It's my good luck." "My juju." " Can I..." " Oh." "I want you to have that." "For George?" "That's the nicest present George ever get." "Thank you." " All right, man." " Yeah." "It dancing' time." " Ursula, wanna dance?" " Oh, no." "Thanks." " I'd be too embarrassed." " What mean "embarrassed"?" "That's when you feel stupid in front of other people." "You know, like they're judging you." " You've never felt that?" " No." "There are no other people." " Good point." " George not feel stupid." "Sometimes George smash into tree, and sometime..." "Sometimes George fall out of tree house, but not feel stupid." "Something good always happen after." "George just lucky, I guess." "# One day I looked up and there you were #" "No people here to look stupid for." "Just George." "# Like a simple question looking for an answer #" "# Now I am a whale Listening to some inner call #" "# Swimming blindly to throw myself upon your shore #" "# What if I don't find you when I have landed #" "# Would you leave me here to die on your shore, stranded #" "# Think I know why the dog howls at the moon #" "# I think I know why the dog howls at the moon #" "# I sing dela, dela #" "# When I'm with you #" "# l burn for you #" "# I've been waiting for you all my life #" "# Hoping for a miracle #" "# I've been waiting day and night Day and night #" "# I've been waiting for you all my life Waiting for redemption #" "# I've been waiting day and night I burn for you #" "And so it came to pass that George of the Jungle... attended his first co-ed dance." "But his rapturous rendezvous with the urban heiress was to be short-lived... as the very next morning, Kwame and his men were drawing dangerously close." "That is, dangerously close to shoving a coconut up Lyle's sleeping bag." "That's it!" "I've had it!" "I am the richest, smartest, handsomest guy here, so I get to go first." "There's an elephant around here." "Bad guy falls in poop." "Classical element of physical comedy." "Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh." "Ready?" "Ready." "Those were nowhere near properly digested." "In case anybody's wondering, I'm okay." "Have you cleaned my lighter yet?" "Come on, come on." "That was Ursula." "Did you hear that?" "She's alive." "Ursula..." "Why don't you bring on a brass band while you're at it, you nit?" "We gotta be stealthy here, right?" "Stealthy." "Right." "Party time." "We'll take it from here." "Get off!" "It's him!" "Hey, it's a dude." "I told you there weren't no white ape." "You dragged me all the way up here to look at some guy in a leopard-skin bikini." " If I wanted to see that, I could've stayed in Miami." " Wait a second." "The white ape is a man?" "Let me at him." "Hang on." "Could you, uh, see if he's dangerous?" "Here, boy!" "Where's my little doggy?" "I've got a feeling he's not." "Okay." "I'll go first." "If he gets aggressive, I'll scare him off with this." " I thought that was a lighter." " It is a lighter, but he doesn't know that." "Ursula, it's me." "Lyle." "Your man." "I've come for you." "Are you okay?" "Ursula!" " Lyle, what are you doing here?" " Thank God." "Mushy bear, you're safe." "I don't believe it!" "Oh, I was so afraid for your safety." "Lyle!" "Don't get all smoochy and disgusting with me, okay?" "I remember what you did when that lion came." "What are you talking about?" "I was fighting the lion the whole time." "You were just so terrified you don't remember." " I remember George, that's who I remember." " George?" "Look over there." "What do you see?" " An elephant." " But what has the elephant got?" " Fleas." " Ivory!" "White gold." "Listen, Ursula, I have no idea what you're talking about." "Can we just go?" " George!" " Ursula!" "Ready... aim..." "Run, Shep!" "Run for your life!" "Did that monkey just speak?" "That monkey just spoke." " I knew it." " He talked." " Shoot it now." " Huh?" "With the tranquillizer gun, idiot!" "That ape's worth a fortune." "No!" "Stop, or I'll shoot!" " No!" " No!" "George!" "Whew!" "Okay, kids, let's settle down and review the important information." "Lyle is a big doofus." "Poor George was really shot... but can't die because, let's face it, he's the hero." "So, the naturally concerned and preternaturally wealthy Ursula Stanhope... whisked George off on a private jet bound for the country of his birth... where he would get the finest medical treatment available." "I'm gonna get you the finest medical treatment available." "As for those pesky, pernicious and putrid poachers, Max and Thor... they awaited their fate in the Bujumbura jail." "You two, out." " Acquitted?" " No, deported." "Meanwhile, Kwame and his men faced the next-to-impossible task... of picking out George's assailant from a line-up of the usual suspects." "Too short." "Too sweaty." "Wait a second!" "That's the guy." "That's the guy who shot him." " I never forget a face." " Me?" "No, Max." "Forget about it." "I do not want to listen to any more of your ideas." "You'll like this one." "We're gonna steal Georgie-boy's talking ape." " You mean, back up the mountain?" " Thor, that ape is our ticket... out of poaching and into show business." " No." " Think about it." "We got a talking ape." "What do Siegfried and Roy have?" " Sequins?" " Exactly."