"Get on with you." "It's more of them." "The heretics!" "Out of the way!" "Come on, you bitch." "No, let me go!" "No..." "No..." "I beseech you!" "Dear Jesus, he has taken her!" "No, no, no." "Oh, Lord God, have mercy on her soul!" "Well, that was yow!" "One second, while I get my eyeballs to face forward again." "God, I'm out of condition." "Whereas you, Mr Janus, have nothing to be ashamed of." "What was it they taught me in the Boy Scouts?" "Practice makes perfect." "Boy Scouts." "That must take you back all of ten years." "Why do I feel like an old lady?" "Because you don't see that when we're together, time has no meaning." "Sorry." "Sorry, this is just, I mean, very hard for me to focus like this." "OK." "Cut it." "It's not working." "Let's..." "Geoff, put the 25 on." "Let's get the coverage going under the sheets on hand-held." "Where are the body doubles?" "Vivian, Vivian, I know." "I know it feels unnatural to you." "For God's sake, Herman." "We were making love!" "If he could just pop his head round the door occasionally, to see how I'm getting on." "Like I said, when you buy into that kind of idiosyncratic genius, the hypochondria comes with the territory." "It's a mild throat infection." "What does he think he'll catch?" "I'm not asking him to suck my tonsils." "I promise nothing." "Can't fight the math, Viv." "He's a 24-carat asshole and he'll gross this picture 200 million." "Raymond, you couldn't be an angel and get me some more water?" "I mean, with the best will in the world, Jodee, she's not George Clooney." "Who is?" "Now." "You got five minutes to coach me on my English accent?" "Yes!" "Is he looking for trouble today?" "!" "See that one, Herm?" "Clean through the bleachers." "Bronson, we have a major problem back there with Vivian." " You just came from the set, right?" " Uh-huh." "Now..." "Would it be too much to ask you to do your own dialogue for the reverses?" "As a special favour to your co-star?" "Face it, Matt." "I'm not a wild young twenty-something any more." "These days, I'm looking for depth and sensitivity." "Dare I say the word... a little tenderness?" "In other words, be gentle with me, right?" "Listen, when you fall in love..." "Holy shit!" "Where did you learn to catch?" "Yes." "Is this Carla Borrego?" "I'm Jonathan Creek, production consultant on the Adam Klaus Magic Show." "I think you're being totally unreasonable about the rehearsal time." "Never in eight series has a guest artist charged extra for a dress run." "You could well be putting your client's life at ri..." "Excuse me." "Why do I feel I'm not getting your undivided attention?" "Uh-huh." "When I want a lecture in theatrical management from a prop boy, I'll let you know." "I'm sorry if you have numeracy problems." "I made the position clear in my last fax." "One appearance, of at most 10 minutes' duration, licensed for five years in all specified territories." "Any supplementary attendance subject to further negotiation." "Adore it." "Just the bill, then, please." " Yes, madam?" " Show it as business sundries." "Sorry, who is this I'm speaking to again?" "As in old and rusty or feeble little stream?" "Well, let me remind you, Mr Creek, that Alan Kalanak is currently the 17th-highest-paid entertainer in America." "For the derisory sum you're paying, you're lucky to get him at all." "Goodbye." "Oh, is that right?" "Well..." "Excuse me." "What am I, a professional door wedge?" "A little "thank you" wouldn't go amiss." "People like you make me so sick." "No one else in the world exists, do they, except you?" " So, do you live near here, then?" " What?" "Well... quite near." "Vivian, I think you're personalising this when there's no need." "I don't see how it's a crime for me to be vigilant about getting a respiratory infection." "Vigilant?" "You must have been clairvoyant!" "Because I would like to know how many weeks' notice were required to run this thing up!" "OK." "Bronson felt that the really deep tongue activity..." "Do you have any idea how many staphylococci are released in the average French kiss?" "Believe me, it runs in the..." "Don't break the seal, please." " It's meant to be sterile." " Pity your father wasn't." "I'm sorry, but this man is the most immature, selfish, insensitive and thoroughly charming individual I have ever worked with." " A real professional and a gentleman." " Vivian Brodie, thanks for talking to us." " Good luck with the film." " Pleasure." "There we are, hot from the set of Herman Grole's new movie, "Black Snow", being filmed at Inkerman Lodge, just outside Andover." " A little bit of professional tact there, Sonia?" " That's right." "Mr Bronson Peterman may currently be the hottest thing in or out of trousers in Hollywood, but he's not the easiest of actors to work with." "A health and hygiene nut, you were saying?" "This is a man who flosses his comb at least three times daily." "What about our own Miss Brodie?" "You've got some Stop Press news there." "She let slip she's having dinner tonight with her ex-husband, Alan Kalanak, who's here on a European tour." "Alan Kalanak, the man they're calling the modern-day Houdini." " There he is in his bondage gear." " That's right." "If you want to make a cool million, that's on offer to whoever comes up with a set of locks or chains he can't get out of." " Hi." " They divorced about ten years ago." "Well." "You learn something every day." "Alan Kalanak and Vivian Brodie." "So..." "Look, you call me, soon." " How soon?" " Today." "Lunchtime." "Let me give you my number." " You won't forget?" " I'm like an elephant." ""Deep into the darkness peering," ""long I stood there wondering, fearing" ""Dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."" "Darkness is a lonely place, Vivian." "Maybe you should think of sharing it with someone." "Sharing?" "Whatever it is that's been eating away at you ever since we started this shoot." "Every day, I see it in your eyes, a kind of haunted melancholy that won't let go." "Hey, we go back a hell of a way." "I don't even remember the first picture we did together." "I think DW Griffith was the clapper loader." "All I'm saying," "I hope our history counts for something." "And maybe when we're done here, you should take a break." "Get away for a few weeks." "A few weeks at Doomdorf Castle." "Only you would give up a mansion in Malibu to buy a godforsaken pile in Scotland full of dungeons and bones." "You once called it the sweetest land on God's earth." "Where the soul of a Scot might one day find eternal rest." "Ready on set for rehearsal." "You wonder if she has a reflection!" "She insists he's contracted for the recording." "If we want him earlier, it'll cost us zillions." "Sorry, give me that again." "223 Claverley Terrace." "We'll be there at eight." "Can't wait to see you." "How do you figure that one out?" "Kenny Starkiss, remember?" "Mr Wacko." "Three years ago, he sends me ideas that stink the place out." "A double-jointed pigeon trained to open a hidden compartment with its beak." "You said "No thanks", but you recognised a major new talent when it came along." "What else was I going to say?" ""You useless piece of junk, you know dick about magic"?" "The guy really does..." "Hey, hey." "Save it for the Space Shuttle." "We're talking light and floaty here." "Turns out now he's been in Europe." "Think he said Norway or someplace." "Turning his career around, could we drop by tonight to discuss a few projects?" "If you're nice to people on the way up..." "I mean, Kenny Starkiss!" "Who would've thought it?" "Trumped-up little parasite!" "Talking about coming to recce the theatre now," ""To ensure the facilities meet my client's..."" "Oh, shit!" " Oh, God, Jonathan!" "Help!" " Adam." " God, help me!" " Hang on!" "I've got you!" "Leave go, Adam." "I've got you!" "Well..." "Forgive me for gatecrashing this romantic little tryst." " Just keep your mouth shut for a minute." " Yes, I think that's good advice all round." "Anyway, when you've got a moment." "It's not exactly Caesar's Palace, but I daresay they'll cope." "To your average American, these pokey little holes have a certain Old World charm." "All right, look." "As I'm feeling uncommonly generous today," "I'll try and get you another hour to block your shots." "At no extra cost." "You got lucky last night, then." "Beg your pardon!" "Someone's put colour in your cheeks, it sticks out a mile." " What's his name?" " How dare you... be so personal?" "If it's any of your business, how do you know I haven't been to the gym?" "Vernon." "Who, despite being a man, just happens to have many admirable qualities." "He's honest and charming and thoughtful." "They say opposites attract." "In fact, you may well be talking to the future Mrs Carla Spools." "It happens his family are very big in the betting industry, and very well connected." " What?" " You're not serious?" "Vernon Spools?" "And he's in the betting business?" "Did he go through your drawers and hit the jackpot?" "It's his real name." "If he wasn't serious, why did he make me promise faithfully to ring him back later today, this lunchtime?" "What?" "You don't think that's a real number?" "Dear, oh, dear." " Hello?" " Hello." "May I speak to Mr Spools, please?" "Mr... who, sorry?" " Mr Vernon Spools." " You what?" "S-P-O..." "It's just possible you're the most horrible person I've ever met." "So, when did you last see him?" "Must be a couple of years ago." "We're rarely on the same continent." " Ah, he'll be here in an hour." " Well, you guys have a great time." " Miss Brodie, we're such big fans." "Could you?" " Yes, of course." "And be careful if he brings out the handcuffs." "Hi, Viv, just got through this PR gig." "I'm gonna be maybe 20 minutes late." "So, give that Cabernet time to breathe." "Can't wait to see you, babe." "Bye." "Oh, my God." "Look." "Please listen to me." "I know what you're going through, what you must think of me, but... you have to believe me, what you wanted, the two of us, wasn't possible." "God forgive me if I ever let you believe that we could..." "Please don't say those things." "Please." "Oh, please." "Please don't." "So you reckon this guy's got quite a career going for him now in Scandinavia?" " Sounds a bit dodgy." " Maybe they're not fussy in the fjords." "Still, if the name Kenny Starkiss packs heat in that part of the world, he could be a contact to cultivate." "Which one did we say?" "223?" "Oh, excuse me." "Oh, no problem." "I'm really glad you could make it." " You found the address OK?" " Kenny?" "Oh, man." "Yeah, yeah." "I know, I know." "Things'll pick up, any day." "'Cause you know, when no one else could give a shit, you gave me more than a shit, Mr Klaus." "You gave me self-belief and the courage to quit my job and shove one big finger up at the world." "And even when my wife was like, "This is killing our marriage." ""From now on, it's me or the magic,"" "I kept remembering what you wrote to me " ""I can recognise a major new talent when it comes along."" " And I mean, I love those kids." " Right." "Right." "So I guess things didn't work out for you over there, Kenny." "In the end." " Pardon me?" " You said on the phone you'd been living in Norway." "Er... in a doorway." "OK, everyone." "This is Kenny, who'll be joining us as an associate creative consultant." "If you'd ease him in gently, make him feel at home," "I'd appreciate it." "See what happens when you encourage someone with no talent?" "Not only have you screwed up his life, reduced him to the level of a cave-dweller," "I've got to pretend to work with him to repair the damage!" "The man's barely got two brain cells to rub..." "Kenny!" "How are you doing?" "Finding your way around?" "I've got a great new bit for the TV series." "You know those guillotine tricks always suck on the telly?" "Like you never really believe the blade actually goes through?" "So how about this?" "We find some guy with a terminal illness, OK?" "Probably could do with a bob or two for his next of kin." "And... we cut his head off." "It's a thought, isn't it, Adam?" "Prime-time euthanasia." "Could be just what the BBC are looking for to spearhead the autumn schedule." "Maybe you'd like to draw up some kind of a discussion document, Kenny, so we can kick it around." "We've a special guest artist arriving, we'll be working through his act all morning, so..." "Alan Kalanak, you old son of a gun!" "As I live and breathe!" "What do you take me for?" "I really don't see the problem." "You want to make me feel inadequate..." "Susan, I know this sounds crazy, but it's like the two of you, at that moment, somehow become one." " It's the weirdest thing." " So when you're screwing my mother, you're still really screwing me?" "And vice versa." " That day in the forest, something happened." " Gunshot." "Out in the garden, we see a groundsman chopping wood." "As the axe bisects the log, it becomes a skull." "The Phantom appears, picks up both the pieces and places them back on the pile, while back inside we find Susan and Matt struggling with the door handle." "Oh, dear God!" "This isn't happening!" "It's locked." "How do we open it?" "And we dissolve to see the groundsman's axe tearing through the wooden panel, as, forcing their way in, they find Lorraine Caulfield seated at the desk, a nine-millimetre Beretta inches from her hand, the side of her head awash with blood." "# Well, I was born an original sinner" "# I was born from original sin" "# And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done" "# There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin, hey!" "# My mama told me good," "# My mama told me strong" "# She said be true to yourself and you can't go wrong" "# But there's just one thing that you must understand" "# You can fool with your brother" "# But don't mess with a missionary man" "# Don't mess with a missionary man" "# Don't mess with a missionary man... #" "Unbe-bloody-lievable!" "I don't care how many picks he can hide in his throat, that's impossible." "I'm taking this one right through as a master." "The end frame will be a process shot, tracking deep into your left eye." " You happy to go for it?" " Uh-huh." "Everybody, we're going for a take!" "Quiet, please, now." "Mother!" "Oh, for Pete's sake!" "Dear God!" "This isn't happening!" "The door's locked from the inside." "How are we gonna open it?" "OK, round on the door, lan." "OK, Tom." "Hit it now." "Oh, my God." "Hurry up!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, shit." "Herman!" "Herman!" "Still breathing." "Get an ambulance." "Vivian, can you hear me?" "What happened?" "Who did this?" "H..." "H..." "H..." "Inspector." "Waiting for you in the study." "I'm telling you." "Nobody could've got into that room or out of it." "What the hell kinda weird shit's going on here?" "Hey, buddy!" "Do you ever get travel sick in this thing?" "I mean, that was... wow!" "I don't think you know my associate, Jonathan Creek." "I've heard good things." "And, of course, the only agent who's always welcome to 10% of me." "Carla, how you doing, my sweetheart?" "Wa-hey, what have we here?" "Remember, Al?" "You taught me this one." "Must've been back in '79." "You know, that cat house in Atlantic City?" "You know, since I became a preacher with the Lutheran Church, I've left all that behind, along with anything that debases or profanes the sanctity of womanhood." "Well, we can all get behind that." "Pair of wire cutters up the arse." "Think about it." "Something tells me you could be a lot happier in your work." "Maybe that's why you've carved out an ancillary career in the field of impossible crimes." "Yes." "You see, I've done my research." " Not that I wish to seem predatory, but..." " No, you can be predatory." "I'm always looking for fresh perspectives to re-energise the material." "And you can rest assured, you wouldn't be working for bargain basement rates." "Think it over." "I appreciate you giving us the extra time." " I guess your agent had to nag you..." " She didn't." "I told Carla way back, I have to be there." "At the theatre, all day." " Why?" "What did she tell you?" " Alan..." "What?" "It's Vivian." "In God's name, what's happened to her?" "Yes, well, anything I can do to help, Inspector." "For sure." "Bye." "Alan, I'm so sorry." " I don't know how close you were..." " We'd... kept in touch, you know, across the years." " You can't think of anyone with a reason to?" " You want the truth?" "I never met a soul who didn't adore her." "All those implausibly nice women she played," "I swear to you, that was Vivian." "But now, after the other night at her hotel, it's like... from the minute she opened the door, there was this strange obsessive frailty I'd never seen before." "Like she worried about her skirt being too short." "She'd had to borrow an outfit from wardrobe." "Well, you know, I just didn't buy it." "Easy to say so now but..." "I guess what I saw in her eyes that night was... mortal terror." "And now you just think, "Dear merciful Jesus, shouldn't I have done something?"" "Hey." "Come on." "Look, maybe I can make some enquiries." "I've got a lot of contacts in this business." "I know nothing can bring her back, but at least we'd feel we were doing something." "You'll look after me, right?" "It's just the way she was killed was almost like magic, and that's really not your department." "You mean... maybe I need some professional help?" "That's exactly what I mean." "By way of deep background on the murder victim." "Her friends, her colleagues and the movie she was making." "For some reason, I can't imagine why, he wanted me to pick your brains." "Like I've got nothing better to do than come here to this... peculiar place." "I don't suppose you possess such a thing as a tow..." "Of course, the police are running around like headless chickens trying to make sense of it." "I still can't believe it's happened." "Vivian Brodie, shot through the heart in an empty room, right under everyone's nose." "Pity they didn't shoot the director." "How he gets away with this stuff..." "A mother and daughter are two halves of the same person." "The only way it could have happened..." "It couldn't have happened." "Somehow, the murderer fired a bullet through a sheet of glass without breaking it." ""Herman Grole, surrealist auteur or candidate for care in the community?"" "Do you realise what the catering budget on a film like this could do for the Horn of Africa?" "You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you, since I got here?" "If you'd bothered to watch the news, you'd know what I'm talking about." "When they closed the door, she was alone in the study." "No one could've got in or out." "The door was in full view of the crew." "There was nowhere anyone could've hidden, and no sign of the murder weapon." "The gun was just a prop and hadn't moved." "According to ballistics, the gun that killed her was fired from at least five metres away, putting the killer a good six or seven feet outside the window." "Yet the window was completely intact and clearly hadn't been opened." "Not only was it protected on the inside by another glass panel bolted to the wall, there wasn't any water on the frame, despite the fact that it was bucketing down with rain at the... time." " What?" " No, it's just this CV of hers." "She's hardly been out of work since she first started." "Two or three movies a year, telly, theatre." "Except for 1973/74 - there's nothing at all listed." "Well, it does happen, believe it or not." "People do have fallow years from time to time." "Of course, I'm just a prop boy." "I wouldn't know about these things." "Doesn't mean you can't learn." "A free piece of advice:" "You shouldn't take everything that's happened here at face value." "You mean..." "things may not be quite what they seem?" "Remember, these are highly skilled Hollywood actors who can make us believe anything they want." "Bronson Peterman, her co-star, by all accounts was driving her completely batty." "Jodee Tressky, who plays her daughter." "What she got up to on her last picture is nobody's business." "What?" "Let's just say it involved an electrician, cinnamon-flavoured bubblegum, and leave it." "The other thing you forgot is that just before she died..." "She pointed at the window and tried to speak." "With her last breath, obviously." "Gesturing to where the gunman had just been standing, or gunwoman." "But by the time everyone piled in, he or she had already escaped across the lawn." "You think she was pointing outside the window?" "Interesting." " Are you trying to be funny?" " I remember how heavily it was raining." "Doesn't that suggest something blindingly obvious?" "26.40." "That's got to be getting there, Jonathan." "What do you reckon?" "Bear in mind, Kenny, the weight of all the soil on top will affect your air pressure." "Give it one more go." "See if you can nudge it up to 30?" " I'll make coffee." "How do you take it?" " Black with milk." "Just a dash." "Oh." "Is this the woman that you?" "Correct." " So where is she?" " Texas, some publishing junket." " And?" " Just once, in a hotel, which we realised was probably a mistake." " Do you know, you can be so..." " Pre-emptive?" "Yeah, well." "That was the problem." "Hey, heard about that guy who banged you and did a runner." " Excuse me?" "!" " Scene-shifters were laughing about it today." "Well, I don't find the idea of a young lady being humped and dumped comical." "Mr Vernon Spools needs a lesson in manners." " Well, thank you for your concern, um..." " Kenny." "Kenny." "Thank you." "Goodnight." "What was it they taught me in the Boy Scouts?" "Practice makes perfect." "Boy Scouts?" "That must take you back all of ten years." "Why do I feel like an old lady?" "Because you don't see that when we're together, time has no meaning." "I'm the key that unlocks your most private door." "This is necrophilia." "There are too many noughts riding on this picture for me to abort." "Plus, we have to be out of this house by next week." "I just feel Carla and Jonathan can add fresh energy to the enquiry." "Say a couple of hours to sniff around?" "Only, you might not want to go sniffing too close to Mr Peterman right now." "Not one of his better days." "And if you're thinking of checking out the study, be sure to clear it with Inspector Bullstrode." "I'll have a shufti around the window, you see what you can get out of Mr Superhunk." "Oh, right." "And how am I supposed to do that?" "I'm not Maddy Magellan." "I know." "It suits you." "I'm an actress in my early '50s." "Still glamorous... still desirable to young men and to old." "And those who know me well can see that I am deeply unhappy." "I may be menopausal." "An unhappy love affair?" "Like my character in the film," "I decide there's nothing left to live for." "Her death scene will be my death scene." "You think she topped herself?" "The arguments are compelling." "She fired a gun at her own chest from 15 feet away and then made it disappear?" "And screwed in a glass panel and mopped up a puddle, while she could barely lift her arm?" "Sorry." "You are?" "Just leaving." "Mr Peterman?" "This won't take long." "Come to put your cream on." "If you wouldn't mind slipping your shirt off." "It's nasty, this goat tick fever." "Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." " What are you talking about?" " Didn't they tell you?" "Eight suspected cases in the last 24 hours." "This part of Hampshire's a devil for it." "That's good, no sign of any pustules yet." "But they don't always erupt straight away, so..." "Pustules?" "What is this, some kind of vector-borne bovine parasitic disorder?" "But don't worry, this is really good stuff." "So arms out and I'll try not to tickle." "There's something I need to run past you, Alan." "I'd kinda like your blessing on it." "I've arranged for burial to take place at Doomdorf." "There's a..." "little spot up there... by the loch." "Whenever she came to visit, we'd..." "Well... we used to talk about these things sometimes." "There's no shame in it, Herman." "I know you meant a lot to her too." "Oh, this is Raymond." "He plays the man from the world of shadows." "He doesn't speak is the only thing." "Right." "The police already searched this ivy and found nothing." "Well, sometimes you can search so hard, you miss the thing you're looking at." "Did you figure out who killed her yet?" "Maybe you think it was me?" "!" "One, I'm not that smart." "And two... no motive." "I hear you were right outside when it happened, so we must presume a silencer was used." "We were making a heck of a lot of noise and Tom was going cuckoo with that axe." "Tom?" "I tell you, I was in the Army three years and you think there's nothing left that can shock you." "But that look in her eyes..." "I mean, she was the most beautiful person." "It's like, this guy I play in the film, he's got two scenes - chopping wood and chopping a door down." " Character consistency, very important." " Yeah, that's right." "In the script, it's like, I haven't got a name." "It just says "groundsman"." "But Miss Brodie said she'd talk to Mr Grole to see if in the credits I could have a name, like Jack or something." "Yeah..." "That look in her eyes." "It makes you wonder what she'd seen out there." "Do you know what I think is really terrible?" "The way the press are trying to drum up a story about a rift between you and Miss Brodie, when obviously the two of you were getting on like a house on fire, would you say?" "Right." "Um, right." "OK, that's all done." "What if I get bitten on the balls?" "Oh, that's not strictly part of my duties." "Maybe if you just leave that behind, I'll finish myself off." ""Death awaits you at Doomdorf Castle." I'm telling you, I could feel his goosebumps." "The thing is, they were all on the wrong side of the door when it happened." "Everyone we've been talking to has to be in the clear." "And the way it was raining... think how dark it would've been out there and how bright it was in that study with the lamps." "I could be way off." "Maybe she wasn't pointing at anyone or anything outside that window but at the reflection of someone standing behind her in the room." "This is a joke, right?" "What is she doing here?" "Miss Borrego?" "Looks after my interests here in the UK." " I don't like the tactics she used to question me." " Excuse me just for a second." "What's this?" "Where did you get those?" "If you show those to anyone, I swear to God I'll..." "What was that all about?" "Where did you get hold of these?" " Is he?" " Don't say it!" "How Bronson deals with the stresses of stardom is up to him." "I was just confirming they're not pictures his fans would want to see posted on the Net." "Vivian and I shared a long-standing passion for the verse of Edgar Allan Poe." "Today, as her soul is reclaimed by the country that gave her life, his lines have never seemed more eloquent." ""'Prophet,' said I, 'Thing of evil!" ""'Prophet still if bird or devil!"'" "What is your problem?" "Did I kill her?" "You got something to say, say it." " I wouldn't want to intrude on your grief." " What does that mean?" "That you couldn't give a damn that she's dead." "Come on." "That's not the reason we came here today, remember?" "As long as you're all on my turf tonight, let's find some common ground." "Thank you." "When did you last sleep in a place with a moat?" "I once passed out by a blocked urinal." " It's not really the same." " Not really." "I suppose this is what 30 years at the top in Hollywood buys you." "Time to make a move." "Grub's up, apparently." "Thank you." "Very much." "Did you ever hear of knocking?" "You just going to stand there while I get ready?" "!" "You'll do." "I can see how it's a knack you'd have, making women disappear." "Not something you'd have to work at." "Like your mailed fist approach to negotiating, you mean?" "People talk tough to me, I talk tough to them." "Because tough gets results." "In business, in life generally." "This anklet has still got your muck on it?" "When I think what it cost me." "Anklet?" "Are you Barbara Stanwyck?" "This is a traumatic time for all of us." "Somebody has done a terrible thing to somebody we all cared for, but we have to believe that fate is ultimately just, and, one day, the guilty will pay for their crimes." "I'm going to ask Alan now, as a man with deep convictions in the Lutheran faith, to say a few words of grace." "Lord, we are but miserable sinners in your sight, but we praise your name, Lord, and thank you for these bounteous gifts..." "When he said someone's done a terrible thing," "I couldn't help feeling he meant someone in this room." "Know what I'd do with this place, Herm, if I bought it, which maybe I will?" "Open the whole thing up, you know?" "Blow out the cobwebs." "I mean, how old would a joint like this be?" "I'm guessing pre-Dickensian, right?" "See, just rip out these columns here, dig up the floor, and you've got yourself a 200-foot heated pool in here." "Maybe a cocktail bar all along this side," " Hawaiian-style or whatever." " See the kind of moron we have to work with?" " Excuse me?" " "Pre-Dickensian"?" "Look around." "It wasn't built yesterday." "What do you take, dumb pills?" "Yeah?" "Well, maybe I know more than you think." "Like how that stunt with the window was pulled off, for one thing." "This'll be good." "That panel inside, right?" "OK, the frame was fixed solid, but what if the glass slides up and down into some kind of cavity in the ceiling?" "Then all the killer has to do is just wedge the thing open while he takes aim..." "What is this, a fire drill?" "I'm afraid the staff don't care to stay on the premises after dark." "They believe certain parts of the castle to be... possessed." "Fear and superstition have always been rife around here, but maybe there is something to the legend." " Who can say?" " Legend?" "In the mid-1500s, during the Counter-Reformation, the Catholic Queen Mary began a reign of terror to realign the church with Rome." "To make an example of certain dissenters, she had them brought here to a dungeon deep beneath the castle, where, it is said, any Protestant would be delivered straight to hell." "According to the story... the victims were staked out on the floor of a sheer stone well... and the door above them locked and bolted." "When it was opened again, just a few minutes later, nothing remained of the body except a few small piles of ash... leading to the belief that the well was some kind of passageway to the fires of damnation." "This is, supposedly, a contemporary account by a Protestant bishop who lost his own wife down there." "Alan, your eyes are, I think, a little better than mine." "Would you?" ""You will just say I dream these things, but trust me, I do not." ""What wits I had were sorely tested by the horror laid before me." "Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player"