" Don't." "There's no place for you in the human world." " I beg to differ, sister." "There is." " Gina, darling, listen to me." "I'm not talk to you as an agent." "I'm talking to you as a friend." "It's not the right project for you." "It's not what you do best." " And you have no idea what I'm capable of." "Just give me the goddamn Scorsese audition and I'll show you." " You don't have to show me anything." "I know you're a good actress." "The best in your field." " Yeah well, maybe I'm better to move on to a bigger and better field." "Darling, I believe you and I believe in you, but there's no way I can get you into that audition." " Why?" "Because I'm a fucking scream queen?" " What do you want me to say, Gina?" " I want you to say that you'll do your job and get me the audition." " Excuse me." "Do you even have a photo of yourself that doesn't have you dripping in blood?" " I have a perfect shot." " Ugh, God help me." "Okay, put your picture in an envelope." " Oh shit." " Tape it to your door." "If Pete doesn't see it when he drives by, you know he won't stop." " Shit." " Sorry darling, you know he's a pain in the ass." " No, it's 'cause I just cut my finger 'cause you got me aggravated!" " B-blood alive." " Oh, shut the hell up." " You know." " Just need a new goddamn agent." "Stupid bullshit." "New agent is what I have to do." "Then I'll get good parts." "Shit." "Fuck." "Fuck." "God damn it." "Fuck." "Say hello to your boss for me." " It's like I told ya, you can run but you cannot hide." "Rufus gon' cut you side to side." "No!" "What the fuck'd you do that for?" " Fuck!" "Hahaha." " No!" " Fuck you!" " You dumb twat." "What the fuck'd you have to go and do that for?" "Anyway, it's okay." "It's okay." "No, it's alright, everything gon' be, everything gon' be just fine." "I can still carve you up." "Why Rufus, you are one sick, mother fuckin' puppy, you know that?" "Thank you, Professor." "Hahahaha." "Oww!" "Shit!" "Oh shit!" "Ah, shit!" "What the fuck are you?" "You're a fuckin' zombie!" "You're a fuckin' cunt!" "I know you!" "You're a fuckin' zombie, right?" " Oh, I'm part of Amy, Professor." "Hahaha, fuck!" " Ow, shit!" " Dude, that was so totally fucking awesome." "I mean, that fucking rocks." " What'd you think of her?" " Do you really need to ask me that question?" "If she was vomiting and had explosive diarrhea," "I still wouldn't kick her outta bed." "I would climb up into her ass." "I would build a summer home and I would vacation there on the weekends." "How the hell did you get your hands on this DVD?" "The movie's not even out yet." " I know, right?" " Tell me, you fuck!" " Trust me, I wish I could." "But..." " Do you need me to punch you in the dick?" "Is that what you need?" " Alright, you ever had one of those things where you're not really sure if you're dreaming or if it's real?" " Mmhmm." " You're gonna think I'm nuts." " Dude, I've known you since kindergarten." "There's no doubt in my mind that you're a big ol' fuckin' bag of crazy." "Tell me!" "You know you want to." " Alright, I'll tell you but you gotta promise not to tell anybody." "Alright, so I was in the magazine store, right?" "And I was tryin' to distract myself, get my mind off Allison." "Then, I saw it." " Saw what?" "The latest issue of Dude On Dude?" " You're a dick." "No." "The latest issue of Scream Sirens with none other than" "Gina Skylar on the cover." " Dude, I have that issue." "I love that issue." "Like, that issue could be the ultimate homo test." "If you don't catch wood lookin' at that picture," "Bing, you're a frickin' homo." " Did you read the article on the inside?" " No." "What for?" "I looked at the picture." " The magazine was just the overture." " Continue." " As I read the article, I realized that there was a lot more to this princess of darkness than meets the eye." "True, her curvacious body was the cause for the petrified forest in my pants, but her eyes?" "Her eyes as beautiful as they were seemed to be crying out for me to help." "I clung to every word as I read her intimate story." "My heart's rhythm changed." "My breathing changed." "Suddenly, the world seemed different." "I felt lighter and more alive than ever before." "Something was happening to me." "It was frightening and exhilarating at the same time." "I wanted and thirsted for more." "I eternally ached for this euphoric sensation my entire life." "And now the doors have opened letting in a fantasmagoric feeling that I surrender to completely." " Oops." "Thank you." "Do you want me to sign that?" " That would be awesome." " Awesome." "Do you have a pen?" " Umm, hold on." "Hey, can I borrow a pen?" " No." "What do you think this is, a charity center?" "If you want a pen, you gotta buy it." "If you're gonna write in that magazine, you gotta buy that shit too." " This ain't a fuckin' library." " Thank you." " What's your name?" " Jake." " Turn around, Jake." "What?" "There you go." " Thank you." " Maybe I'll see you around, Jake." " Hey asshole, this isn't enough money." "You still owe me 30 cents." " Dipshit." " No fucking way." " Way." "I never went home that night because I lost the magazine." "The magazine in which Gina Skylar wrote," ""I'm sure we'll meet again."" "Those words vibrated up and down my spine." "I kept thinking about her and wondering would I ever see her again?" " How are you, young man?" "You're Jake, right?" " This was unbelievable." "Robert Lonzo, the biggest producer of horror films in the world was calling my name." "He's the man responsible for discovering Gina Skylar." "Yeah, I am." " Come here!" "I hear you're a gentleman and a real fan." " I guess." " Don't guess, ya either are or you're not." " No, I am, sir." " Good!" "Would ya like to get in?" "It's been a long time since I've spoken to a real fan." "Don't worry." "I'm not queer." "Besides, Gina's in here too." " Sure!" "I listened to Mr. Lonzo as he told his war stories of how he had to fight to get the credibility and recognition his movies deserved." "Under ordinary circumstances," "I would have been riveted in every syllable." "But just knowing that Gina was a glance away was more than I could handle." "She's even more beautiful in person than she is on the screen." " Hey kid, how would you like to help me cast my next movie?" " Excuse me?" " You heard me." "I want you to help me cast my next movie." " Umm, I guess." "What would I have to do?" " Just tell me if you think the girls have talent." " It's gonna be super fun." "Jake." " Never in my wildest imagination could I have anticipated what was about to happen to me." " I can't take it anymore." "Why doesn't shit like this happen to me?" "Why?" "Why?" " Why don't you just go home?" "I'll catch up with you tomorrow." " No!" "I'm stayin'!" "You're telling me the whole story!" " Woah." " Look, it's pathetic, I know." "I got no life." "I got no job." "I got no girlfriend." "I hadn't washed my underwear in like three weeks." "I need to hear every single detail of this story and if you leave out one mother fuckin' thing," "I'll kill you." " Lonzo told me there were two things he looks for in talent." "I think he meant three." "Looking back, I kinda feel like a pervert." "I watched Lonzo as he took detailed notes of each girl that went by." "Some of them would dance close and I could see him hide his little note pad." "He was a consummate professional." "I, on the other hand, was his complete opposite." "I couldn't concentrate on any of the strippers." "I had only one girl in my mind." "I just had to get outta there." "My brain was on overload and I felt" "I couldn't trust any of my senses." "I found solitude in the men's room." " Don't turn around." "Listen to me very carefully." "Okay?" "Lonzo's in trouble." " But, I," " Shh!" "Don't talk, baby." "Just listen." "Lonzo's in trouble and I need your help." "It's gonna be very dangerous, but if my gut is telling me the right thing about you," "I know that you're the right one for the job." "Can you handle it, Jake?" "Will you help me?" " I desperately searched for the words to let her know that I would do anything for her." "But all that came out was, "Okie dokie."" " Okie dokie." "Really, really love a man that has no command for the English language." "So, umm, here's my home address." "My personal number is in your back pocket." "You call me later and I'll tell you what we're doing next." "Don't be nervous." "That's better." "See ya later?" " Do you have any idea how good that tongue felt?" " No, I'd like to try." "Worked for George Michael." " Goddamn bitch." "Well, I warned her." "Shit." "I don't wanna do all this fuckin' work for her." "Damn it." "Ya know what, this'll show her." "That's it." "This is it." "This is the final place." "This is where she belongs." "Yeah, that's right, yeah." "Yeah, I told her." "I warned her." "God, I can't believe this." "I can't believe I'm doing all this damn work for her." "Should just throw her body down the fuckin' hill." "Yeah, well no, no, this is a better place for her." "Yeah, I showed her." "You always were a cold bitch." "Shit!" "Where the fuck is my wallet?" "Shit." "This is not happening." "This is not fucking happening!" "Where to?" " Just up the road a bit." " I don't know." " I'd be grateful." " Alright, get in." " So, do you have any gum?" "Can I have it?" " Where the hell did you get this?" "You tell me where you fuckin' got this or you're fuckin' gonna die." " You gave it to me." " You're dead meat, Missy." " And what's wrong with dead meat?" " Hello?" "Gina?" " Hey, umm, it's Jake." "Did you just call me or?" "Were you just at my apartment?" " Did you give me your phone number?" " I don't think so." " Did you tell me where you live?" " No." " I don't even know your last name." " It's Bubar." "Jake Bubar." " Well, Mr. Jake Bubar," "I'll see ya at 10:30." " Do you need my phone number?" " I have caller ID." " Oh, well, do you need my address?" "Hello?" " That is truly fucking weird." " I thought so too." "My heart raced as I walked down the hallway to Gina's apartment." "I couldn't wait to see her again." "Could I be bold enough to think that we might have a future together?" "Stop it!" "I'm way ahead of myself." "One step at a time." "Hi." " You must be Jake." " Yeah." " Gina's told us all about you." " Is she in there?" " Don't be silly." "It's just me and Lace." " Oh." " Okay." " Hey Jake." "Come sit down." " Holy snikies." " She said sit down." " Jake." "This is gonna take a while." " Baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball." "Baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball." " I hate you." "I hate you so much." " Do you want me to continue?" " I'm so fucking deprived." "Couldn't possibly get any worse for me." " Well." " Just finish the fucking story." " Having fun, Jake?" " What's this all about?" " They think you're a hot shot" "Hollywood producer looking for talent." " Why do they think that?" " 'Cause I told them." "Hurry up, meet me at the Chinese restaurant downtown." " Fine." "Bye." "Umm, girls, I have to go." "Umm, you were great." "I'll have my people get in touch with your people and then they can all touch each other." "Okay." " Hey!" " Hey." " How are ya?" "Are ya hungry?" " No." "Just coffee." " Hey Bets." "Can I get coffee for my friend here?" " You know we don't serve coffee." "Only green tea, Hun." " That'd be fine." " Green tea ice cream?" "The usual?" " Absolutely." "Anything for you?" " No, that's it." "Thanks." " You okay?" " What's up with your friends?" " What friends?" " Lace and Gwen?" " Yeah, those aren't my friends." " Then why did you send me there?" " I needed to get Lace outta the place so I can deal with a little detective work, ya know?" " So, you used me." " No!" "No." "My head's just been crazy." "I've been all over the place." "I didn't meant to use you." "I'm sorry." " You said Lonzo is in some kind of trouble." "What sort of trouble?" " Somebody stole the footage to" "Vampire Psychos Suck." " Your new movie?" " His new movie." "I was just lucky enough to be in it." "Unfortunately, it's gone and it's my best work." " Better than Blood Poison?" "Wow." "I can't wait to see it." "Well, doesn't he have some kind of movie insurance?" " This is a low-budget world, Jake." "We're not a big company." "No money." "No insurance." " Well, why doesn't he just reshoot?" " Because he broke the cardinal rule of independent film making and he used his own money." "Now he's flat broke." "Thanks." " Anything for you?" " I'm okay." "Thank you." " This is his best movie yet." "It's movie gold." "It's his ticket to the big league." " Well, Lonzo's lucky to have a friend like you." " Me?" "I was workin' at K-Mart when he discovered me." "He came in to buy an axe for body choppers." " Your first movie?" " Yeah." "I didn't believe him." "Anyway, 48 months later, 33 films later, eight box covers, four chiller conventions," "I've got a gazillion members to my website." "Number one scream queen and I owe it all to him." "Will you help me find the footage?" " Gina, I don't know." " I'm sorry." "I know it's a lot to ask." "Forget it." " I'm sorry." "I just." " You're a sweet guy." "I shouldn't mix you up in things like this." "Forget I said anything." " You have a little." " What?" " On your." " Oh, shit." " I just got my nails done." "Would you?" " Umm, sure." " You can use your finger." "That way it doesn't set in." " I'll do it." "Whatever you want." "Whatever you need, just ask." " I knew I could count on you." " Wow." "This is great." " I absolutely love this place." " It looks really familiar." " Yeah?" "Maniac Warehouse one, two, three, and the prequel?" " Oh, of course!" "This is where all the dead bodies were stored." " You got it." " Wow, this is great." " All that shit, there's still body parts in all of those." " But, why are we here?" " I got the keys, ya know, so we could shoot stuff here when we needed to, and I thought you would like it." "You're a fan, right?" " Yeah!" " Yeah?" "Do you like it?" " What was that for?" " 'Cause you're cute and I like you." " Well, that's great to hear." " Woah." "We have work to do, Jake." "Can't always just be about play." "We're detectives now and we're almost on the verge of figuring this whole thing out." " Mmm, of course." "Sure you're right." " Probably." "But once all this detective work is finished, then uhh," " Then?" " You can have anything you want." " Are you okay?" " Wait," "I think I just came in my pants." " Get the hell of my cushion now!" " Nah, come on, dude." " So." " Shit, nobody's supposed to be here." "Come here." "We're not supposed to be here." "It's Lonzo." "He doesn't look good." " Quiet on the set!" "Roll sound and action!" " What's he doing?" " Shut up." " Cut!" "Let's do it again." "Get more blood in there!" "I want more blood in there!" "Make it flow like the piss at port authorities bathroom." " Shit." " Do it now!" "That's a wrap." "That's a wrap." "The calla lilies are in bloom again." " What's he doing?" " Shut up." " As God as my witness, if I have to lie, cheat, beg, or steal," "I'll never be hungry again!" "As God as my witness!" " I think he's lost it." " No, he hasn't lost it." "A lot of people don't know that he's a film historian." "His love for art, film, boundless." "He once told me that he gets all his strength through great moments in cinema." "Then, when he hits rock bottom, he recites lines from classic movies." " Tonight, as the clouds are dancing around the moon," "I'll be dancing around you!" "You and the moon." "You wear a necktie so I know it's you." " I wish I had some popcorn." " Shit's not funny." "He's in pain." " Yo, Mick!" "What about my prime?" "You help me, Polack!" "I don't believe you have the nerve in your body." " Lonzo." " I knelt before the bed of death." " No, no, no, no." "No." " I knew that there was but one thing that could bring you back to me." "The scroll of Thor." " No, don't do that." " What is it?" " I'm a scream queen, you idiot." " So?" " And so I dare the God's anger and stole it." " I'm a true scream queen." "I hear lines recited from famous hor, horror films." " They broke in on me and found me doing an unholy thing." " Oh God." "Tie my hands up." " What?" " Tie my hands up!" " They're coming for you, Barbara." "Look!" "There's one of them now!" " Shit!" "Take my pants off and tie up my legs." "Oh shit." "Hurry!" " The spider spinning the web for the unworthy fly." " Tighter." "Tie it fuckin' tighter." "Now put something in my mouth." " I am gonna learn every frickin' word to Halloween two." " Put something in my mouth." " What?" " Put your goddamn shirt in my mouth!" "Take it off and put it in my fuckin' mouth." "Now!" "Hurry up!" " The blood is the life, Mr. Renfield." " Okay?" " Even the man who's pure at heart and says his prayers at night" "can become a wolf when the Woofbane blooms." "The Autumn moon is pure and bright." "'Tis a lovely day for an exorcism!" " I'll be right back, okay?" "Gina," "I'll be right back." "Mr. Lonzo." " Fuck!" " This is gettin' better every minute." "What the fuck happened next?" " Mr. Lonzo, are you alright?" " Oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home." " You're gonna be alright, Mr. Lonzo." "Gina?" "Gina?" "Mr. Lonzo?" "Okay, okay." "This is one of those reality shows." "I just need to figure out where all the camera's are hidden." "Okay, I get it!" "I get it." "You can tell me where the camera's are now." "Okay, this is a little creepy." "Just listen to your inner voice." "What would your inner voice tell you to do?" "Get the fuck out." "Gina?" "Gina?" "Gina?" " And where are you from?" " Huh?" " I resemble that remark." "But, never you mind, you swine." "I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse." "Now, down to business." "Say the secret word and the girl of your dreams will appear." " What?" " Wrong word but, don't worry, be happy." "We have a constellation prize for you." "The girl of your nightmares!" "And here she is fresh from the crypt, fully loaded with chewed up maggots and rotting flesh, dadadadadadaaaa!" "It's Lillian!" "Lillian, oh Lillian." "Oh, have you screwed Lillian?" "Lillian, the creepy lady?" "Well, I can see that the two of you want to be alone." " No, don't!" " I'll be on my way." " No, don't!" " Let's get nasty." " Woah." "I need to watch a Disney movie." "Who is it?" "Hey." "Are you okay?" "What happened to you?" "I was worried about you." " You know how happy I am that you've been helping me with this?" "You're amazing." "But I have to do the rest of this on my own." " Are you crazy?" "Listen, I promised you that I was gonna help you." "And I'm not backing down until we recover that missing footage." " I appreciate that." "But umm," "I'm a scream queen." " It doesn't matter to me what you are." "I care about you." " You pussy whooped bastard." " What would you have done?" " Well I, alright, go on." " I'll be careful." "I promise." "Now let's come up with a plan." " I just don't want anything to happen to you." " If someone's following you or trying to stop you, then you're definitely not the right person to be handling this investigation." " You sound so official." " Just give me a hit list of all your potential suspects, okay?" "I'll do what I did with Gwen and her friend." "I'll follow them and then, at the right moment," "I'll question them." " Yeah, that actually could work." "I mean, you could say that you're doing an interview for like Sirens of Cinema or Fango or something like that." " And if I tell them that I've already interviewed you, that'll give me instant credibility and maybe they'll loosen up a little bit." " My hero." " I think we should wait." "Til all this is done." "Ya know, til we, go to the next level." " Whatever you say, boss." " Wait." "Wait a minute." "I just realized something." "Gina Skylar was standing here in this apartment." " Yeah." "So?" " So?" "I think I can, I can, she sat on this couch, didn't she?" "I think I can taste her in my mouth." "I can, she's actually in my mouth right now." " Dude." " It's delicious." " Dude, you really gotta get a girlfriend." " Eat me." " Gina kept referring to herself as a true scream queen, which would get her very distressed." "So, I searched the libraries and internet and the only item I found that made any reference was a screenplay titled, "The True Scream Queen"." "A script that was optioned by Robert Lonzo, but never made." "Now this was getting weird." "I was able to get some info about the writer," "Kiara Lupanel." "She had a bestselling novel published when she was 16 and had written seven movies for Lonzo." "This was way freaky, but I knew I had to see her." "I called her using the guise of being a writer doing an article about her and she agreed to see me." "But once I arrived at her home, well let's just say I wasn't exactly prepared for what was waiting for me." "Kiara." " Mr. Bubar?" " Yes." " It's a true pleasure to meet another artist of the pen." " You flatter me." "I'm not even close to being in your league." " I won't hold it against you as long as you don't disappoint me." " You're much younger than I thought you'd be." "And more beautiful." " She sleeps." " Rem?" "Leave us for now." " Nice dress." " I absolutely adore dressing up as the characters I write about." " Should we move away from the chair?" "I don't wanna wake her." " She sleeps like the death." " Is she part vampire?" " Don't make jokes about my Mother." "She can get quite angry." "You may begin your interview now." " Alright, why does a writing prodigy put her novels on hold to write, forgive me, B horror films for Robert Lonzo?" " Is that really what you want to ask me?" "Then, I shall indulge you." "I live through the characters I write about." "Their hopes, fears, passions are all mine." " A few years ago, you wrote a screenplay." "The True Scream Queen." "Robert Lonzo optioned it but the movie was never made." " Someone's been doing their homework." " He produced seven of your scripts, but not that one." " And why is this of such great importance to you?" " I have a friend and she says she's a true scream queen." " A young, aspiring actress looking to break into movies through the horror corridor." " No, nothing like that." "Gina's a superstar." " Gina?" "Gina Skylar?" " Yeah." "Do you know her?" " That movie will never be made." "Mother forbids it." " Please tell me more." "I have to know what is a true scream queen?" " Something you need to be far away from." " Please." "I think I'm in love with her." " Are you familiar with the story of Romulus and Remus?" " Didn't they nurse from some wolf?" " Not some wolf, Mr. Bubar." "The she-wolf, Lupa." "The true mother of Rome." "She nursed the twins and saved them from peril." "When the boys grew up, the wolf would take human form and protect and guide them." "Without her, there would be no Rome, no Caesar, no glory!" " How does that relate to a true scream queen?" " Their lineage is connected." "They share similar traits because they're from the same source." "The she-wolf is motivated to protect and nurture the helpless." "When she rises up and changes from wolf to human, she has a rational side and a kind, gentle heart that cares and loves." "Contrary, the scream queens transmutation from human to wolf, or better yet demon, loses all reason, purpose, and compassion." " Even if that is true, she would never hurt me." "We have feelings for one another." " She might have feelings for you, but the beast does not." " Why are you saying beast?" "She's absolutely beautiful." " The belladonna plant is beautiful." "It's also the deadliest plant in the Northern hemisphere." " Say that it is true." "What could make her change?" "A full moon?" " This is not a horror movie, Mr. Bubar." "It's reality." " I don't understand." " Every she-wolf has their trigger." "It's ingrained at a young age and when that trigger is pulled, no one is safe." " So, you're telling me that," " Be cautious, Mr. Bubar." "Rem?" "Show Mr. Bubar out." "I cannot believe he's in love with her." "It's not fair!" " Bellisima." " Why does Gina get to walk in the world of gardens that I write about?" " Do you think I love her more than you?" " Will Gina ever come home?" " I don't know." " I must get back to work." " Say the secret word and the girl of your dreams will appear." " Let's get nasty." " The heart becomes salvage, Mr. Bubar." "The heart becomes salvage." " I spent the next two days interviewing Lonzo's crew." "I was astonished at how happy they all were given the fact that most of them lived just above the poverty level." "Just a creepy old car, Jake." "No big deal." "Right?" "What a creepy old car." "Umm, Harry?" " Yeah?" " I'm Jake." " Have a seat, Jake." "Would you like some?" " Oh." "I'm good." "I've already eaten lunch, but thank you." " Ya know, at first," "I didn't like sardines." "I didn't even like the name sardines, especially the way they smelled." "I'm sorry." "Takes a while to get used to." "But when you do, they're like a woman." "You can't get enough." "And you always want more, you know what I'm sayin'?" " I actually just have a couple questions." "On the last day of Lonzo's shoot, you were the one to put away the equipment, right?" " Yeah, I was there but," "Mr. Lonzo told me to leave early." " Oh, so you weren't the last one to leave?" " No." "Ya know, after one of our shoots," "Mr. Lonzo gave me two whole cases." "He couldn't pay us 'cause the distributors check bounced." "And he wanted to make sure we got enough protein." "You know how much protein there is in one can of sardines?" " No." " More than three whole steaks." "Yes sir." " Wow." " I love that guy." "He cares so much about the little people." "You sure you don't want any?" " Oh, I, I'm okay." "I'm okay, thanks." " Put hair on your chest." "Lead in your pencil." " Ha!" "Actually, I think that's all I need but, it was great meeting you." "Thank you so much for meeting with me." " Take care." " You too." "Yeah." "Umm, Miss Bell?" " Call me Flame." " Hi, I'm Jake." " I know." "The guy from the magazine?" " Oh, that's right." " I hope you don't mind if I continue my workout while we talk." "Otherwise, I'll never get it done." " Oh no, of course." " I hope these questions aren't gonna be too personal." "I got interviewed once by a guy pretending to be from a magazine." "He turned out to be some pervert." " What happened?" " I dropped a bar bell on his crotch." "Last I heard, he became a candidate for a sex change operation." "Don't worry." "You have nothing to be afraid of." "Besides, you're kinda cute." "Do you have a girlfriend?" " Umm, what?" " Rawr." " It's okay." "I can handle it." " Hey, can you do me a favor?" " Sure, if I can." " I wanna make sure I'm doing really good push ups." "So, can you just put your hand on the floor and make sure my chest touches it each time?" " Umm, the floor?" " No, silly, your hand." " What did I do in my life to deserve to be subjected to these thoughts and images that torture my young soul?" "Even Buddha got to touch more tit than this." " I just see these films as a stepping stone to my final career plateau." " Oh, well, what is that plateau?" " Playboy magazine, of course." "Can you be completely honest with me?" " Sure." " Tell me what you think of these." " Oh, umm." " I mean, do you think they're Playboy material?" " I can do this." "I can do this." "I can do this." " I mean, they're really n..., they look..." " Do you want to feel them?" " Actually, I just had one question." " Don't bother." "They're real." " Oh, that's not what I was gonna ask but, good for you." " Thank you." " Why weren't you at Lonzo's last wrap party?" " That's a weird question." "I'll tell you but then I'm gonna have to kill you." " What?" " I'm only kidding." "It's okay." "So anyway." " I've had to make a wee wee for like an hour and a half and I'm not leaving this room until I hear every single detail of that story." "If I gotta piss in my pants, so be it." " Okay." "I'll tell you everything." "But I swear to God, if you pee on my floor," "I'm never talking to you again." " Okay." "You got any more chips?" " I was down to the last person on Gina's list." "An old timer named Charlie Graves." "Mr. Graves?" " Youngblood." " Hi." " Have a seat." " Oh, thank you." " Here, take a look at that." " Is that you?" " I was a handsome devil, wasn't I?" " Mr. Graves, is that Thomas Edison in the picture with you?" "Exactly how long have you been in the business?" " Not long enough." "I still have a few purty movies left in me but," "I don't know if I'm gonna last." "Until I get some." " Unless what?" " I get some young!" "Whew!" " Ha." "Whew." "Yeah, funny." " I didn't scare you too much, did I?" " Oh, no." "Not at all." " It's alright, kid." "We're all scared of something." "Fear." "It lets you know you're alive and makes your heart race and your blood pump." "It's the next best thing to sex." "Why do you think so many people watch scary movies?" " I guess I never thought of it that way." " When you've been around as long as I've been, you see things a whole new way." "One's vision and take on things become clear." " Can I ask you one last question?" " Go right ahead, young blood." " Is there such a thing as a true scream queen?" " Where did you hear that?" "Who told you about that?" " Oh." " Where did you hear that?" " I just heard some people." " Now, that's some bullshit." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'll answer your question." "It's a myth." " But I thought." " But that's all I got to say." "It's a myth." " Well, thank you very much for meeting with me." "I appreciate you taking the time." "It was nice meeting you." " And remember one thing, young blood." "Charlie Graves doesn't lie." "It's a myth." "It's a myth." "♪ I can wait forever if I'm meant to be next to you" "♪ 'Cause you, you take me higher" "♪ Make me feel like I can fly to the moon" "♪ You come around and my room lights up" "♪ It gets darker when you walk out the room" "♪ I love you deeper than the blue sea" "♪ I love you wider than the galaxy" "♪ Yes, I do" "♪ I love you longer than eternity" "♪ And I will love you even when you don't love me" "♪ So, baby, when the stars are out" "♪ When the stars are out" "♪ I'm gonna love you" "♪ Even if a lie is awake" "♪ Baby all I need is you" "♪ You..." "♪ When the stars are out" "♪ They will bring ya right back to me" "♪ So baby, I need you" "♪ I need you right here" "♪ No rain, no curse" "♪ Can keep me from" "♪ The only one in this universe" "♪ No" "♪ When the stars are out" "♪ When the stars are out" "♪ Stars are out" "♪ When the stars are out" " Oh my God." " That was the best fun of my day." " It was awesome!" "Oh my God." "I have, I have the best time when I'm with you." " Me too." " With yourself?" " No, with you." " Dumb actress." "Can't do stuff like that." "Ah, it's Lonzo." "Hey." "No, please don't say that." "It's not over." " That's a wrap." " Lonzo, please, just trust me." "We'll get it figured out." "Yes, we will." "Hello?" " I'm so sorry." " What?" " I let you down." " You didn't let me down." "You're crazy." "You're the only person that I've ever known in my life that would risk their own safety for me." "That's pretty awesome." " I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have done that." " Yeah, you shouldn't have." " Ha, I love this art work." " Yeah." "Umm." "It's always about good box art." " Not when you're in them." " You really are a fan, huh?" " Hey." "Who's Tony Boca and why haven't we checked him out?" " Tony produced a bunch of Lonzo's movies back in the day and kinda got bored with it all, I think." "He retired and he owns car washes now." " Well, we have to follow up with every suspect." " Not that guy." "No way." "Forget about it." "He grew up with Lonzo." "They were best friends." "He would never hurt him." " Well, who else is left?" " Doesn't hurt, right?" "His place is like two miles down the road." " Lonzo!" "That was his car." "Lonzo!" "Lonzo." "Lonzo!" "Lonzo." " Little late for a car wash, don't ya think?" " Why would you do this to him?" "He was your friend." " He cut me off for no good reason." " No." "You retired." " No, no." "He got rid of me." " This business is full of rejection." "You, of all people, should know that." " I can't believe you're talkin' to me like that." " Why don't you just let him go, you dumb fucking grease monkey?" " That a nice thing to be saying to a guy with a gun?" "Watch it." "Put that back." " Real tough guy now when you have a gun, huh?" " I don't need a gun for a two bit scream queen." " Oh, two bit." "I'm number one scream queen, ya fucking jerk off." " I'm gonna feel a lot better knowing" "I killed a number one scream queen rather than a number two." " Just do it, you dickless fuck." " Myth or no myth, please work." " Jake!" " Now that you have become what you have become, it is best that you go back to your country." "And leave Transylvania forever!" " Who the fuck are you supposed to be?" "I am Dracula." "Ahaha." " Put your hands down." "Get down on the floor." "I'm gonna cut her heart out." " Listen to them, the children of the night." " What the?" " What music they make." " Are you kidding me?" " As the spider spins the web for the unworthy fly." " Gina?" "Gina?" "Is that really you?" " Gina." "Gina, what are you doing?" " Now we can fuck!" " Okay." "I can't." "I can't!" " Oh no." "You had me going there." "That was good." "I was with you there." "You're good." "You're good." " I swear it's all true." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Sure." "Hey listen, thanks for the food, man." "You should write that bullshit down." "I mean, I didn't believe you but, pretty good story." "Might make a good movie or something." "Call ya tomorrow." "We'll get some beers." "Keep it gay." "What'd you forget?" "Gina?" " It's over." "It's over!" " Hey, that was a damn good movie." " It's a crossover film for sure!" " I thought it sucked." " An overnight success that took 15 years." "Am I right, Eddie?" " I thought it sucked." " I really love the part where the whipped cream got cleaned off." " You would." " Hey, what are you trying to say?" "You got a problem with that?" " Go eat a sardine." " Fabulous idea." " I smell like fish 'cause I love sardines." "What's your excuse?" " Asshole." " Hey Ed, what's taking Rufus and Lillian so long to get back with the champagne?" " Probably having sex." " That's disgusting." " Not when I do it, baby." " Asshole." " Guys, take it easy." "This is supposed to be a celebration." " Fabulous idea." "Hey Ed." " Everybody!" "Everybody, shut the fuck up!" " Eddie, what are you doing?" "Are you crazy?" " No." "I'm just a psychopathic producer." " What's goin' on?" "Are you feelin' alright?" " I'm feeling fine." " Okay." " And by the way, Julia, you sucked in the movie." "You couldn't act your way out of a paper bag." " Alright." " Quit kidding, Eddie." "We're all friends here." " Friends." "Good point." "Leo, please come here and help out a friend." " Yeah, okay." "Anything else, Eddie?" " You really like the movie, didn't you?" " Yeah!" "I loved it." " That's great." "That's really, really great!" "I guess that's a cut." " That's not funny, Eddie." "This is all bullshit." "Now, wake up that jerk off and let's have a party." " Fine." "You're right." "He is a jerk off." "Why don't you wake him up?" " I will." "Hey, moron!" "Get the hell off the floor." "Hey." "This'll wake him up." "He must be wearing a cup." " Having a little trouble?" "You can never find a PA when you need one." " Oh my God, he really is dead!" " Did I really suck in the movie?" " Are you kidding?" "You're amazing." "Go, go, go." " Come on, come on, come on!" "Hurry!" "Here, hurry, hurry, hurry!" "Hurry!" "Oh my God." "What the hell happened to Eddie?" " Eddie's completely lost it." " No shit." " Listen, he's just got a knife." "There's a bunch of us." "Why don't we just jump him?" " Yeah, okay." " We need a plan." " Eddie?" " Julia?" "Julia?" "Julia!" "Shit." " Julia." " Tim." "I thought you left me." " You alright?" "Come on." "I wouldn't leave you." "Are you okay?" "Are you okay?" "Listen, Eddie's still out there." "So we have to wait it out here." " No." " Come on, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." " He's never done this before." " Stop." "I love you." "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, alright?" "♪ Nothing's gonna harm you" "♪ Not while I'm around" " Would you like a sardine?" " Yeah." "Thanks." " Tired?" " Yeah, a little bit." "Killing people is harder than it looks." " How 'bout a snort of this?" " Hahahahaha." "The hair of the dog." "Just what I needed." "Ahh!" " Would you like a napkin?" " Yeah, you got one?" " I thought I did." " Oh, Julia." "Julia?" "Julia!" "Julia!" " Tim!" " Ah, Julia!" "Look!" " Douchebag." " Come on." "Come on, come on." " Can't go that fast." " Wait, wait." " Ah!" "Shit!" "Tim!" " Come on, come on, come on, come on." " Shit." " Ring around the Rosie." "Pocket full of spinners!" "Going so soon?" "Why, my little party's just beginning!" " Come on." "Come on!" " Top of the world, Ma!" "Top of the world!" " You okay?" " It's great to have an audience." "I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille." "Hey guys." "You like it?" "I got it at K-Mart." "Come out, come out, wherever you." "They're coming for you, Barbara." "Look!" "There's one of them now!" " Tim, get up!" "Tim!" "Tim, get up." "Get up!" "Fuck, he's coming." "Come on, get up!" " Get up!" " Go!" "Julia, go!" " There comes a time in every man's life when he must take the bull by the horns and face the situation." " I can't." "Just go get the police." "Fuckin' sick bastard." "Fuckin' sick bastard!" " Come on baby." "Come on, baby!" "Chainsaw, don't fail me now!" "Ah!" "By placing my hands so," "I can crush your head like a walnut." " Let him go, Eddie." "I said let him go!" " He's gone, Julia." "He believes he's Lonzo, the character from the movie." "His mind is just a bunch of celluloid clips!" " How is that even possible?" " He believes it with every fiber of his being." " Huh?" "Well, I can believe too." " You mean?" " I said I can believe too." "Fools!" "Do you think you can kill me with your crucifixes and your wolfs bane?" "I have centuries behind me!" " Yeah." "Do it." " Your blood now flows through our veins." "Kill the brain and you kill the ghoul." " Yeah." "Do it." "Keep going." " Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies." " Keep going!" " Crazy, am I?" "We'll see who's crazy." "It's alive!" "It's alive!" "It's alive!" "Leave it alone, Fritz." "Leave it alone." " Do it." " And then was acknowledged the presence" "of the red death." " Mother of mercy." "Is this the end of Draco?" " Holy shit." "You are a true scream queen." "God, I love you." "Julia?" "Julia, it's me." "Julia?" "Snap out of it." "Julia?" "Julia!" " Ugh, Gina darling." "I'm truly sorry about the Scorsese project but, you do understand." "It's the nature of the business." " I do and it's alright." "Don't worry about it." " Gina, wait." "Forget that I'm your agent for a moment." " I forgot that weeks ago." " Hahahaha, you say that now." "But, since your last picture was released, my phone rings off the hook morning, noon, and night." "They're begging for you, Gina." "Not just these little independent producers from all these little shitty pictures." "I mean Hollywood." "I mean big budget." "I mean major producers, major stars, and you in all the lead roles." "Money." "Don't you understand?" "You can write your ticket anywhere." " Don't you understand?" "I don't wanna do horror films anymore!" "God damn it, Tess." " Oh, I don't believe that for one second." " You don't believe it." " What was the line in that one movie?" "It suits you perfectly." " No, don't do it." "Don't even think about doing it." " No, I think I know what it is." "What was that line?" " Tess, don't!" " It was made for you." "I love that line." "Ah, got it!" " No, do not say it." " You are a true scream queen." "♪ You should sleep with one eye open" "♪ Tonight, the moon is glowin'" "♪ You could find yourself broken, oh" "♪ Seduce you, she will love you" "♪ Place no one else above you" "♪ You'll never find yourself alone, no" "♪ Gonna get, gonna get, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, dangerous" "♪ Don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And it's never gonna stop, no" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you, dangerous" "♪ Don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And it'll never stop, no" "♪ Possessive, I can't help it" "♪ The truth is I am selfish" "♪ I want you, all of you for me" "♪ So come into the night and" "♪ Don't be scared, don't be freightened" "♪ All you have to do is believe" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Dangerous, don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And it's never gonna stop, no" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you, dangerous" "♪ Don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And she's never gonna stop, no" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you, dangerous" "♪ Don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And she's never gonna stop, no" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you, dangerous" "♪ Don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And she's never gonna stop, no" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you, dangerous" "♪ Don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And she's never gonna stop, no" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you, dangerous" "♪ Don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And she's never gonna stop, no" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you" "♪ Gonna get you, gonna get you, dangerous" "♪ Don't you know that girl is dangerous" "♪ And she's never gonna stop, no ♪"