"Hey, Will, what's going on?" "Lisa's coming over." "We're gonna watch a couple action-adventure flicks tonight." "Maybe if I get lucky we'll have a little action adventure of our own." "You know what I'm saying?" "So, what movies did you rent, Casanova?" "Oh, we got Terminator 2, Lethal Weapon 3 and my personal favorite, Maniac Cop VII." "Sounds like a romantic evening." "What's Lisa going to do?" "Lookie here, lookie here, Spanky." "Now, I'm the man." "You see what I'm saying?" "I'm the Man-dingo." "Lisa will watch what I tell her to watch and she will enjoy it." "And that, as they say, is that." "If you'll excuse me, it's about to get X-rated in here." " You know what I mean?" " Hey!" " Hey, baby." " Hey!" "What's up girl?" "So, what movies did you get?" "Terms of Endearment, Fried Green Tomatoes and The Joy Luck Club." "Shall I get us some hankies?" "What are you so happy about?" "I just made the weekend reservations at Palm Springs for me and Lisa." "Lisa?" "You've been seeing a lot of her lately." "Oh, yeah, and if it goes the way I plan I'll be seeing the rest of her this weekend, you know?" "Have you no shame?" "Yeah, I'm ashamed of you." "Well, while you're wallowing in your sordid filth of a life I'll be pursuing some culture." "I bought tickets to The Jeffersons live on stage." "It includes dinner with Sherman Hemsley and an autograph picture of both Lionels." "Swell." "That will go great with your Weezy collectible cups." "Hey, Kool-Aid!" "I got your Kool-Aid, all right?" "You look so good." "You are gonna be a hit at the Bahamas." "I can't wait to see your mother down there." "I've been practicing my limbo." "I don't know, Dad, that limbo bar gets as low as 13 inches." "Wow, Carlton, you could just walk right under." "Will's shacking up with some girl in Palm Springs." "You're gonna get it now, mister." "Have fun." "Wait." "Is that all you're gonna say to him?" "Am I paying for your little trip?" " Well, no." " Five up top." "All right." "Master William, Miss Lisa is here to see you." "Oh, sugar-wugar, now, come on, girl." "Oh, and sir, the limbo bar is set at three feet when you're ready." "Excellent." "He couldn't make that lying flat on his back." "Baby, now, say those words that you know send chills up my spine." "I want you to meet my father." " What you talking about, girl?" " Well, baby, he and I are very close." "And before you and I get any closer I think that you should meet him." "That's cool." "I'll meet him when we come back from Palm Springs." "Oh, check it out." "I got us the Wilt Chamberlain suite." "With the electronic scoreboard over the bed and everything." "Well, before you and I get into a little one on one you're gonna have to talk to the head coach." "Well, I'm saying, what if he ain't playing off the same playbook I am?" "Well, then we're gonna have to call a time-out." "Hey, hey, don't be using my analogy against me." "Come on, baby." "I'm just not gonna be comfortable going unless I know that my father approves of you." "As if there's anything not to approve of." "Oh, not the ears, baby." "All right, I'll talk to your daddy." "Keep doing that, we're gonna have to dig up his daddy, I'll talk to him too." "Do you have a non-profit book by African-American photographers?" "You mean Songs of My People?" "It's a very popular book." "Hey, hey, hey, we're not non-profit." " Hey." " Hey, baby." "Hey, hi, hey, hey, hey." "How are you doing?" "All right." "Sorry I'm late but after I left church, I went down and read some books to the elderly." "Don't overdo it, honey." "Will, this is my Dad." " Daddy, this is Will." " Hello." "How you doing?" "Hear that deep voice?" "Like James Earl Jones." ""This is CNN."" "Well, I've got to get to class." "I want you guys to enjoy each other." "So how's the grub here, Wilbur?" "Well, we've only had two food-related deaths in the past month." "I didn't read about that." "You must be doing a good job as a manager to keep something like that quiet." "Well, actually my cousin Carlton is the manager, you know." "I'm pretty much just..." "Trying to score with my daughter." " Sir?" " It's a joke." "I'm joking." "I'm pulling your leg." "You see these pictures?" "That's my baby." "There's nothing in the world I won't do for her." "And I really respect that, sir." "And if you don't mind me saying so, that is a lovely picture of your wife." "I see where Lisa gets her good looks from." "That's not my wife." "That's my sister-in-law Cecilia." "She's so ugly, she'd make an onion cry." "Actually, I was being polite." "She is a dog." "Hey, hey, she's so ugly, she could make a freight train take a dirt road." "It'd be like:" "You talking about my family, boy?" "Well, no, I just figured you..." "You was so..." "You know what, I like you." " You do?" " Yeah." "But I'm out of time." "I've got to fly to San Francisco on some business." "Why don't we just finish this interview next week." "Hey, sir." "You know, I actually was hoping that I could get your approval by this weekend." "What's the rush?" "No rush." "You know, I just hate to leave things unfinished, you know." "I'm very meticulous like that." ""Meticulous."" "Hey, now that's a word you don't run into every day." "Say, why don't you fly to Frisco with me?" "You can help me with my vocabulary." " Fly?" " You ain't scared, are you?" "Me, scared?" "Hell, no." "Hey, Wilbur, you didn't finish your Buffalo wings." "I can't eat any more." "Sure you can." "Just put some hot sauce on there." " No, thank you." " Boy, what are you saying?" "You better put some Red Rooster on there." "Look..." "Hey, do you think you could just land the plane, you know and I'll just walk back to L.A." "Oh, flying upside down makes you a little queasy, doesn't it, boy?" "Well, no I'm not a..." "I'll take that as a yes." "Now, let's talk about my daughter." "Look, it's like I told you on the ground, man, you know I just like being with her." "Wrong answer." "You might as well admit it, boy, you're like a squirrel trying to get a nut." "Let me ask you a question." "How many times did you put those rusty, crusty lips on my daughter?" "With all due respect, sir, I think that's between me and Lisa." "Wrong again." "Okay, you win." "I'll just cancel our weekend in Palm Springs." "Why the hell would I want to go to Palm Springs with you?" "Not you, Lisa." "You taking my baby girl to Palm Springs?" "Oh, no, no, no." " Boy, I'm really mad now." " No, no, no." "The engine's dead." "What?" "Yeah." "Oh, so I guess we're going down, huh?" "Faster than a bucket of chicken at Oprah's." "Oh, so I should probably just confess all the nasty things I've done with your daughter, huh?" "Especially seeing as how in any second now we're gonna be splattering all over those mountains there." "Let me tell you, I'm from Philly you've gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to get me with some old..." "Mr. Adams?" "Mr. Adams?" "Mr. Adams?" "I made it!" "I'm alive!" " I can't believe it!" " I can't believe it either." "Your damn chute wasn't supposed to open." "Your plane wasn't supposed to crash neither." "I guess you just having an all-around bad day, huh?" "How the hell you land so close to me?" "I guess I'm just lucky." "Mayday." "Mayday!" "This is Afro-Niner 423." "We've gone down." "Our precise position is somewhere over some trees and rocks and stuff." " Give me that thing." "Give it here." " What you gonna do, man?" " What you...?" "Don't..." " Give it." "Give it to me." "You done done it now!" "Damn!" "Okay, look, look." "We just got to get down from here, man." "Let me tell you what you gotta do, boy." "You gotta get your "mominimum" and knock me out of this tree." "Mominimum?" "Don't you understand English, boy?" "Mominimum." "Knock me out of this damn tree." "Come on!" "All right, all right, here." "Get me over." "Get me..." "All right, here we go." "All right, I got it, I got it, I got it." "I'm Philip Banks." "We got here soon as we could." "Have you found my nephew yet?" "Good news." "We found the plane." "It's totaled." "What?" "That's good news?" "See, your nephew wasn't in it." "Well, where is he?" "If I knew that, I'd be working for the Psychic Friends Network." "Look, that is my boyfriend and my father out there." "So you're gonna be twice as upset if they're dead, huh?" "Now, you listen here, Mr. Park-Ranger- Psychic-Friends-Network-freak." "You get out there and find my cousin now!" "Ashley." "Ashley, get over here." "Don't worry, we've got the best in modern equipment." "I'll send out a search party immediately." "Look, a party sounds like a lot of fun, but can we please find Will first?" "Civilization!" "Two backpacks and, look!" "A broken radio." "All we got to do is stay here until these guys come back." "They are back." "They are?" "Where?" "Where?" "This is our stuff!" "Oh, I don't believe this." "We wasted four hours traveling around this stupid mountain." "Why don't you quit bellyaching and try to come up with some ideas of your own." "Oh, well, maybe I'll just do that." "Okay, okay, okay." "All right, the sun sets in the west, right?" "Okay." "All right." "And moss only grows on the north side of the trees." "Stop spouting all that witchcraft." "All we got to do is just stay put." "I'm sure they're out there looking for me." "Not if they know you." "You know what, boy?" "You've got a double order of lip." "And I got a short stack of patience." "What the hell does that mean?" "Put up your hands." "I'm gonna give you a good butt-whipping." "Look." "Please, you're like 479 years old, right?" "And I ain't trying to be out here fighting no old man." "Oh, fine, that makes it easier for me." " You all right, man?" "You all right?" " Old man, huh?" "I've got you now." "Oh, young blood." "Yeah, young blood." " Get off me, man." " Yeah, young blood." "What's that?" "I don't know." "Coyote?" "What do they eat?" "One of those?" "What is taking so long?" "You have got to find my father." "Don't worry." "Ranger Franklin's our best tracker." "He never comes back empty-handed." "Oh, this is a tragedy." "Don't worry, Carlton." "I'm sure everything's gonna be okay." "Okay?" "I'm missing The Jeffersons live on stage." "Right now I bet George is calling somebody a jive turkey." "What are you complaining about?" "This is hardly the way I wanted to spend my weekend." "Sitting around in some dusty old shack waiting for Will to show up." "Man, it's tough finding people in the woods." " We'll try again in the morning." " Well, no hurry." "Look, my nephew is a city boy." "I'm worried he might not survive in the woods." " Oh, where's he from?" " West Philadelphia." "Oh, don't worry." "If he can survive there a couple of snakes and bears aren't gonna bother him." "What are you doing?" "What's it look like?" "I'm blowing on the embers." "You're blowing the fire out, man." "Look, relax, I got an idea." "What are you doing?" "Just stand back, please." "What are you doing with my Red Rooster?" "Damn!" "And that was just the mild." "Man." "Look at those stars." "You don't see them like that back in the city." "Yeah, too much light." "You know, being out here in nature two guys against the elements it's like guys just naturally kind of bond with each other, you know?" "You come together through a tough situation." "Actually start to like each other." "That ain't happening with us." "Not even a little." "Man, look at that moon." "Hey, what you know about some jazz, boy?" "Oh, man, my grandma used to play Ella all the time." "Ella, Sarah, Thelonius, Miles, Bert." "Oh, man, those were the days." "Before the music died." "Hey, yeah, you can stop there." "The music ain't died." "Now, you got Guru, Diggable Planets, A Tribe Called Quest." "The defense rests." "No, I'm telling you, they got a nice blend of the old school with the new." "Lisa likes it." "Lisa listens to jazz?" "Oh, man, we listen to jazz every time when we try to get in the mood..." "Is that Orion the Hunter?" "Look at that." "You know, Will, about Lisa sometime I am a little overprotective of her." "But she's my baby girl." "Heck, she's all I got now that I lost my plane." "I'm saying, I mean, I can dig that and everything." " But don't you care what she wants?" " Nope." "Put some more hot sauce on the fire." "I'm gonna go on to bed." "I mean, I always found it so incredible that only I could prevent forest fires." "I mean, that's so much responsibility." "I really should be out there looking for your cousin." "Don't worry." "Will likes to sleep in." " Will!" " Oh, thank God you're all right." "The pool house wouldn't have been the same without you." "Hey, thanks a lot, Carlton." "There, I said it." "You happy?" "Will, where's my father?" " Hey, it's all right, baby, he is fine." " But what happened?" "Well, you know, we had a little engine trouble and we went down." "But it was the best thing could have happened to us." "Yeah, we landed kind of in this wooded glade, you know near this bubbling brook." "Kind of looked like the beer commercials." "Except there wasn't no naked honeys." "There wasn't no beer." "Oh, but you know what?" "I don't know if it was the beauty of the area or just being outdoors, but we kind of bonded." "Why didn't he come back with you?" "Look, I could not tear him away." "I told him we could walk down this brook, take us back to civilization." "But he said, "No, you go on without me I wanna stay here and be at one with nature."" "You can't be at one when you two." " So I jetted." " Really?" "You know what?" "I'm telling you, your father is a changed man." "He said we should go to Palm Springs and enjoy ourselves." "You mean he actually said that we could go?" "He insisted." "Now that you're safe, I can still catch my flight to the Bahamas." "Come on, everybody, let's go, we're out of here." "Where's that boy with that firewood?" "Wilbur!" "Outside is a trail of hot sauce." "Light a match, take you right to him." "Wilbur!" "Robin Hood, are you around here?" "Anybody!" "Red Rooster?" "Anybody, give me a hand." "Squirrel!" "I need..." "Give me a piece of cheese, I'm hungry." "Little Red Riding Hood, where are you?" "Wilbur!" "Hey!" "They leaving me out here by myself." "I'm scared." "We need some more people, come on in." "The Three Bears, where are you?" " Help me, somebody." " John." "The show's over." " Help me, please." "Where are you?" " John." "You can stay out here if you want." "Wilbur!" "What the hell happened to everything?"