" I find it easier to make people laugh once they start to understand me, get my sense of humor." "But if you just ask me to tell you a joke," "well usually, I'll probably tell you an anti-joke, with a true story." " It's always fun, 'cause whenever someone asks," "I run away in fear." " So, even though I'm pretty analytical in general," "I tend not to analyze comedy very much, just because for me, it is what it is." "You don't really need to know more than that." "Of course, there's also a science of it." " The best way to be funny is to always explain your jokes right after you tell them." "You need to be like," ""Get it?"" " When I got my diagnosis 10 years ago," "I knew I need to meet more people like me, 'cause I never have." "I spent 20 years in utter isolation and confusion." "And two is, I have to make it so no one else has to do that." "When we started this comedy troupe, all we could focus on is, let's come up with stuff that makes us laugh." "♪ Jump on my train yeah" "♪ My little train of thought" "♪ Jump on my train yeah" "♪ My little train of thought" "♪ I know what I have" "♪ Do you know what you got" "♪ Jump on my train yeah" "♪ My little train of thought" "♪ The season's shifting, yeah" "♪ But I'm cool to hot" "♪ Jump on my train, yeah" "♪ My train, my train of thought ♪" " Are there challenges?" "Yes." "But, it's not all bad, and we've developed these things which we think are very funny and we like to share with people." " I might be here at this comedy show tonight." " Yeah, it's great to support people with disabilities by just throwing your money at them." "♪ The famous people, yeah" "♪ They go out looking proud" "♪ They're standing right 'round" "♪ And breaking holy ground" "♪ The famous people" "♪ They got their demons" "♪ I got my demons" "♪ But in my she's believin'" "♪ Hey famous people yeah" "♪ Step on my train" "♪ And make a movie" "♪ And it will be the real thing ♪" " Mom?" " Dad?" " You want to put me into foster care, and then adopt some other kid?" " Exactly!" "You're understanding perfectly." " I'm gonna go get another one from the truck!" " Everyone always says," ""Oh, your name is so funny."" "And I'm like, "No, we really do have Asperger's," but two years or something into the troupe, I realized" "I guess the name is funny, 'cause it's grammatically incorrect, but I never thought about it." " Well Microsoft Word always corrected it." "Asperger's is We." "♪ Jump on my train yeah" "♪ My little train my train of thought ♪" "♪ I love you so much" " Doing great." "♪ I love you so much" "Last time, everybody close your eyes." "Think about what you love the most." "♪ I love you so much" "Good morning, everyone." "Okay." "I love you all, thanks for watching!" "I got shirts and bags and hair if anyone wants to buy that hair." "It's free." "Thanks for doing that." " That was a great set!" " Thanks, tight!" " Never done that before." " Well, that's what she said." "All right, I'll be in the can." " That is what she said." " I was in elementary school and I saw this video about Kenya, and it said they run everywhere." "I was like, "Why don't we do that?"" "It's better exercise, you get there faster." "No downside." "So ever since, I just run everywhere I go if I'm by myself." "So then everyone was like," ""Noah's weird, he runs everywhere."" "And I didn't mind, 'cause I was like," ""It's better to be right than popular."" "But, as I get older, I recognize, it depends on the situation." " Next stop, West Newton." " So this is my actual brain, and one of the benefits of having a in vogue medical or mental condition is that there's a lot of research that you could get paid to do, and I did that over at MIT." "Down there, it says ANAT, but it looks like ANAL." "It's a true story." "My old social worker Steven Hoyt invented this." "And ironically, it's put right over a hole in the wall." "'Cause I used to have an anger problem where I'd have violent outburts and I would break things." "I don't do that any more." "I know that that's not okay and I can control myself, partly due to the six R's of anger." "For decades, I was known as Aaron." "I decided when I turned 18 to go my New Michael, instead of my slave name, Aaron." "That's the story." "You know, many people still from high school still know me as Aaron," "or sometimes people have a hard time remembering to call me New Michael who've known me all those years, so I always correct 'em though." "I don't give anyone a pass, for the most part." " And where does New Michael come from?" " It comes from the heart." "My name is New Michael." "My dad's Old Michael." "I'm New Michael." " It's a job." " Waiter, waiter?" " Serving somebody." " We all met at a summer camp for kids with Asperger's." "It was like a chance for kids on the autism spectrum to meet other kids on the autism spectrum." "That was probably the most important part." "Myself, Ethan, Jack, all had really big senses of humor." "We were always in the same group together." "For us, like, you knew you were winning if everybody was laughing." " You're gonna recognize it like this." " Noah also joined the group to meet other people with Asperger's." "He just joined as a counselor." " I was in a group with Ethan and New Michael, and Noah was one of our counselors, and by that point, we had pretty developed senses of humor and like we were actually sort of objectively funny." "Well, as objective as humor can be." " They became some of my really good friends at that camp." "To a point where we started hanging out outside, as well." "Well some of us had the idea to start a comedy group." "So, that's how Asperger's Are Us was born." " These guys were 17 when this troupe started, so three or four 17 year olds and me, and it was very much like the work I have to do as a camp counselor of," "I'm gonna separate you guys right now, take two minutes and then talk to each other like adults." " I think me and Noah definitely are the Pauls and the Johns of the group." "It's just like sometimes the days of the early Beatles, they would mistake John as the leader of the group." "That's what's happened with us." "It would bother me more so because it would make it out to be like, you know, sort of like how it was when he was our counselor, and like he's basically directing us and thinking of the ideas," "and it was tough." "Maybe it bothered me more so than the other guys, because I was, you know, the McCartney of the group." "But it doesn't really happen much any more, it doesn't really bother me much any more." " We usually do have nowhere to rehearse and just have to wander around." "It's been three years, you'd think we'd have a rehearsal space by now, but we don't." "How you feelin' Ethan?" "You okay?" " What's wrong?" "Tell us." "You don't want to get what?" "Kicked out?" "We're not gonna get kicked out of the mall." "This is perfect." "No one will care if we're here." "Oh, okay, I'm sorry." "We'll go." "Sorry about that, we didn't know." "We can do it right here." "This is where I..." "See Ethan, that wasn't so bad." " Yeah, except I knew it would happen." " I know, but nothing bad happened." "I knew it'd happen eventually." " We walked right past him." " It was okay." " One time I got kicked out of the store across the street from my house, but I was wearing a devil mask." "True story." " So do you guys want to do a superhero palace show?" " Yeah, we can do that." " No." " No?" " I don't want to take any big risks 'cause it's like our last, potentially our last show." "I want it to end..." " That's the worst philosophy!" "You need to take a big risk!" " You can't record on property here." " Oh, where does the property end?" "We could go on this bridge." "That might work." "Let's film in this little area in between these cars." " Guys, just remember, there's a whole bunch of sketches..." " That we've never done." " That we've not only have we never done, but sketches, no." " But they're not that good." " So it's all a bunch of sketches that we have done, but never to a Massachusetts audience." "There's the YMCA poop sketch." " Yes." " There is the..." " Haunted house sketch." " The haunted house sketch." " New Michael and superhero palace." "Guys, this is a really good idea." "We'll be able to do material that we've worked on but haven't performed yet, and also, it'll be really, really silly." "So we need to book a palace." "Think about-yeah?" " It's been time when we- it's time we can finally make the algebra joke." " Which one was that?" " I don't know." "I haven't thought of it yet." "I always wanted to make a joke about algebra." " Jerk!" " Guys, this is gonna be so good!" "This is gonna be like on the level of like a train that Elton John is riding in the Civil War." " You go to Boston like every day?" " What?" " You go to Boston like every day?" "Is that why I see you all the time on the T?" " Yeah, pretty much." " You should come to what might be our last ever show, this August." " Where?" " We don't know precisely where yet." "Do you know of any- there's a bunch of venues we're exploring." " Nice!" " We haven't decided one yet." " That's awesome." "I'd love to go!" " I spend a lot of time actively avoiding people so I can get my work done." "30 days til classes start at Oxford." "I don't know how I'm gonna do with all the things I have to do." "I just, literally don't know what my priorities are." "I mean, Asperger's Are Us is really important, but I'm worried that" "I literally cannot devote the time to it that I need to." " It's been an interesting ride, so to speak." "You know, when Jack was, say, pre-school age, kindergarten age, you know, he had gotten his diagnosis with Asperger's, and we weren't even sure he could handle a mainstream school or curriculum." "He was easily frustrated when he was very young, and he would have tantrums." "They'd have to clear the classroom, you know, 'cause Jack was acting up, you know?" "But, as he matured, he's come out of that for the most part." "Still he yells at me." "You know, we're like this some times." "Maybe we're too similar, I don't know." "But obviously he's doing very well, going to Oxford next month." "One thing that's hard for me as a dad is that I like to touch, and Jack doesn't like being touched." " It's not so much I don't like it as it just makes no impression on me." " Makes no impression." "But that's how I communicate affection." "And he doesn't, you know, you gotta have the receiver as well as a giver." "I give it, but he doesn't receive it, so it's frustrating as a parent." " Yep." "It's like feeding a skeleton." "I mean, you put something in the bones, it just falls through." " Exactly." " So basically you're a skeleton?" " Basically." " You know you're loved, right?" " Is" " Yeah, I know I'm loved." " Now arriving at Ipswich Hills." " This is the last time you'll see us for a year, and maybe, you know, forever." "God knows what'll happen, you know?" "Jack could get killed in England." "It's unlikely, but it's possible." "I always prepare for things like that." "That's why I'll tell him, "Bye forever."" "And next summer, we could be too busy to perform." "Other guys might have full-time jobs," "God knows." "This could be our final show ever, so we're gonna work hard to make it a good one." "How are you doin'?" "You guys okay?" " Yes." " So we were talking about our show." " We will have a lot more to do than we're expecting." " No, I'm expecting it." " Well, okay." " Like, I've been warning you guys about it." " We'll have more to do than like you don't know that the specifics are that we'll have to do later." "What I mean is that there will be surprises that we'll have to do." " All good shows have surprises, and ours will not be an exception." " Exactly." "But I think we'll have it down, we always have." "We've always been able to do the show." " You know, one thing..." " There've been a few errors occasionally, but..." " You know, one thing I, one thing I'm gonna note, originally before we decided to do the superhero palace thing," "I was telling a few people, you know, this might be our, maybe the last ever show." "Well now I'm gonna hold off on that talk." "You know, especially my older family members who've seen the show before but haven't gone in a while." "I'm not gonna invite them to this." " I think that's really a terrible decision." " I don't think they'll like this." "Like I see my Uncle Joe." " Yeah." " Who loved us." " Yeah." " I see him not getting the superhero thing at all." " I think we can make it clear." "That sucks that you think that, 'cause I think this should be our biggest show." "I think you should promote it the most." " It might be our biggest show, but I'm not..." " I think we should promote it the most and bring in the most people, because it is gonna be our last show for a long time." " I don't have a problem with it." "I think it's a good idea," "I mean if it bombs, it bombs." " It's gonna be a disaster." "It's going to be..." " Don't start thinking this way." " I was born this way." "All right, so don't you dare say that." " Don't run near the pool!" "You'll slip and fall in!" " Uploaded on YouTube is a safety album by Elton John." "The joke about it being Elton John is it's obviously not Elton John, it's sort of a pretend, pretend thing." "But it's just me shouting, safety like tidbits, like, "Stay close to an adult!"" "Or, "Don't give your identity to anyone on the Internet!"" "Anyways, here's the album." " Watch out for poison ivy, and check for ticks afterwards when you're in the woods!" "Stay close to an adult!" "Stay close to an adult!" " At some point maybe," "I started shouting safety advice, and then I think it might have been Noah, recommended, "Well why don't you take all these things" ""and turn it into the safety album?"" "And it was a big success." "One of the things I'm most proud of, I guess." "Like most 16 year olds," "I sort of felt awkward around my parents, and yet I still do, actually, but probably more so back then, and definitely in some ways, and anyways, they were home and upstairs in this room actually," "and I was downstairs recording it." "If I sound held back or insecure on it, it's because of that." "Playlist..." " You feel more comfortable with your parents now?" " With my mom, yes." " There's the tour of my broken down garage, which I plan on replacing the door in a couple of months." "Occasionally I have him ride the mower, cut the grass." "His name is New Michael." "We always called him by his middle name, Aaron." "When he was a baby growing up." "So, he doesn't like that name, that's fine." "He likes New Michael." "But he always still has that Aaron name as a middle name." "And that's my story on that part." "I kind of wish I was more educated and smarter than what I am." "Well, I'm not as smart as he is." "I wish I was so I could more interact with him." "You know?" "I enjoy being with him, he's fun to be with, and he's a real good kid." "I feel like I don't do enough." "Maybe it's 'cause I work," "I always worked a lot of hours, so I didn't really get to grow up with both of my kids," "Amanda and my son, New Michael." "So, that's why my wife knows more about Asperger's Are Us" "and his friends." "I don't really know as much as she does, but I'm starting to see a lot now." " They all actually met through the program, which was kind of a last resort for me to try to find a place where he could fit, because we wrestled as parents with some of his unique qualities." " Now this is one of" "I guess five binders that we got from the summer program." "So Jack said this was the worst part of the day." "Every single day, at the end of the day, they did a self-evaluation." " I had this strange compulsion to be honest on these." "I think this is the sort of thing that the average person is better at than someone on the spectrum," "trying sort of hard but not as hard as you can." "Like, this is why you never see anyone on the spectrum jogging." "Either you want to run full out or, either you're going to run full out or you want to walk." "I mean, there's no point in being kind of, and making things kind of difficult by jogging, but not actually putting your full effort in." "I mean, technically there is, but, it doesn't appear that way to your brain, so it's stressful." " So they had to rate one to five?" " One to five." " I think that was it." " One to 10, I had low self-esteem that summer." " Oh was it really one to 10?" " No, I'm just kidding." " Oh, okay." "This is a pretty good day." " For a long time, the only way I could be liked by people was by making jokes and being funny." "That's still by far the easiest way" "I can relate to people." "This is my high school graduation photo." "By the time I graduated from high school," "I was voted the class," "I was voted most outgoing by the class." "Which is insane, and I think that was because" "I finally in high school learned to use comedy." "People literally changed their opinion of me over time, because I learned to connect with them through humor." "Like this is the way I learned to cross the bridge between myself and the rest of the world." "This is how I learned to have an identity, by making jokes." " Well Literate Man has to like explain to him how to form the letters, but it's all messy and stuff." " That's too confusing!" "I don't want four steps in this one joke." "So wait, what were the two ideas you had that were really good?" "Gandhi definitely..." " All of them." "Literate Man could run in and be like," ""Guys!" ""Gandhi's been kidnapped!"" "And then Pun Man's like," ""I would listen, but I'm not that India."" "People keep interrupting him with like whatever their stupid personalities are." "Whatever their powers are." "Like Bad Idea Man's like," ""Nope, I think we should burn down our house!"" "Condescending Man interrupts and says, "Nope, it's time to check the chore wheel!"" " But also if we ever want to save money on actors, we can just use Invisible Man more often." "Darkness Man takes over the world." " Darkness Man takes over!" " What if we actually gave someone a coffee enema on stage?" " I'm not doing it." " One of the problems with the pilot we tried to do was it didn't have enough of a plot." " Shut up, Contradictory Idea Man!" " Ethan, you all right?" " Yeah, I'm just tired." " Guys, I just..." " He's holding the dictionary of crime." " Yes, guys..." " What are you do- who did that?" " New Michael was not being careful." " Oh, sorry about that." "You need to wipe it off." " We need to clean this up." " Was it literally a major disaster?" "I don't think so." " Nah, it's not." " It could have been!" " It literally could have been." " Yeah, everything could have been a major disaster." " Nope, most things probably never would be." " It could be." " No." " the word." " Can you guys get to New Michael's house tomorrow?" " No wait." "I don't know about doing it at my house, but no one could stay at my house..." " Well, we don't have anywhere else to do it in Beverly." " You know, I guess we could do it at my house." "I guess I feel like I..." " If we're just doing a writing session, not a run through." " Yeah, and also my family's more apt to leave me alone if there's a camera crew." " How do you know that?" " I've lived with them for 20 years." " How many camera crews have you had in your house?" " Well..." " So do you want to do a part in this documentary where we all just talk shit about each other?" "This train leaves at noon, gets to Gloucester, which is the next stop, at 12:08," "West Gloucester at about 12:13." "Manchester at 12:18," "Beverly Farms at 12:24," "Montserrat at 12:30," "Beverly at 12:34." "I don't have as intricate a knowledge of like all the mechanics of it as some quote-unquote rail fans do, but I do enjoy the trains, and I know the different systems in the country as well as around the world." "So we are at Bear Skin Neck in Rockport." "Sometimes," "I'll come here and get a good outlet for my creativity." "In fact, I'll stand right there." "It's a great outlet." "Recently, I've been more stressed than I have been in the past, but I think that has to do with like sort of still transitioning" "into like, into college, and gaining more independence and worrying what I'm going to do with my life." "Like..." " What are you gonna do with your life?" " Yeah, exactly." "I don't know." "We'll see where things take me, you know?" " The next train from Rockport has departed from Salem!" "The next train to Boston has departed from Montserrat." " What train are you taking?" " Train to Rockport." " He doesn't want me to interrupt." "He doesn't want me to interrupt." "He wants to read." "That's okay." " Train to Rockport." " He's covering his ears 'cause he doesn't want me to talk to him." "Such an Aspie." " Next train to Boston!" "Next train to Rockport" " Ethan likes trains, too." "You worried about the noise?" " Trains might be loud." " You wanna look at the schedule?" " Next train to Rockport in four minutes." " You like the schedules?" "You wanna look at it?" "You can." "You can look at it if you want to." "I've spent a lot of my time numbing myself, because of the hypersensitivity." "I have my sunglasses and my mp3 player, and I'm playing songs that I already know, and it's cutting off my sensitivity, like it's dulling my senses in general." "And this means I can put up with stuff a lot more." "We're hypersensitive 'cause something's irritating us from the inside, and our environment can exacerbate or inhibit this process, but it's not the underlying cause." "Something else is going on internally." "And it comes out in those particular bad situations." "This is my diagnosis." "The actual first time I ever got diagnosed on the autism spectrum." "You have this, here's the good sides of it, good luck!" "And I skipped home, 'cause I felt freer than I ever had, and I was just" "it explained everything that had ever happened to me that didn't make sense." "20 years." "Every human being has stuff that bothers us more than others." "Aspies, there's certain things that bother us in a way that only like true, physical trauma would bother a neurotypical." "You know, the trauma of like getting mugged, many Aspies are feeling every week." " Wow, that sounds menacing!" "I'm so sorry to hear that." " That's not even the half of it!" "It's like, when the custom of a woman is upon me," "I'm not even in control." "She's in control." " All right, so we're making a pretend tampon commercial, and instead of saying period, we're saying "custom of a woman,"" "which is how they said it in the King James edition of the Old Testament." " Is this your sister's dress?" " No." " Where did you..." " We bought it for, for superhero palace." "We've known each other since junior year of high school." "She was a senior." "And I was" "I was the cute junior girl." " I was the jock senior." " She was the jock senior." "And when I saw her, my ass tingled." "So silly." " I'll take these out." "I need some water first." "I think we have it." " Okay," "I'm taking this off." " I mean honestly, if you think about it, it might not even be absurd enough." "There've been times when when I felt like I really wanted to work on something different creatively." "Meaghan and I brainstormed ideas for our love troupe, so I'm really excited about the hiatus." "Because we've been doing Asperger's Are Us for three years now." "I understand the other guys are sick of doing a sketch show." "We've been doing it for three years, almost." "And they have the mindset that, you know, we'll be doing mostly old material." "You can come sit over here." "And," "anyways, so I was skeptical," "I don't want to do the superhero palace show." "All the other guys wanted to, so I acquiesced in going along." "Well anyways, a few days ago," "I emailed all of them, listed all the reasons why I don't think we should do the superhero palace show." "So I'm glad I put my foot down and I asserted myself." " It made me feel sad in a way that you cockblocking my creativity did 'cause it made me have to watch myself." " Don't say that." "That's a mean thing to say." " I know, and I don't know how else to say it, because it made me feel really bad!" "'Cause I was like..." " Well you know what?" "A lot of the times, the things you say make me feel really bad." "For instance, when we're together and you just in a monotone voice say," ""That's stupid," or, "that's not a good joke."" "When it's just totally not necessary." "You do this all the time, so..." " That's stupid!" " Because I gave very valid reason..." " If you guys want, we can make this like our White Album, where you come up with a bunch of sketches, and I come up with the superhero palace idea, and you guys throw in contributions as needed to either one," "and we come together, and then we make a full show that's like two halves put together." " Superhero palace and sketches?" " Yeah!" " I like this idea." " Yeah, see if it's funny." " Yeah, give it a whirl, see where we stand." " Ideally we would rehearse all day Saturday, right?" " Yeah." " Tomorrow at your house..." " I mean I need to think about it." " Okay, so I'll see you fellas at New Michael's at 2:45 or something." "I'm excited to do this." "You were right." "We don't have enough time to do a totally new play and show." "And I hadn't thought about how little time we had to rehearse." " Sometimes, the difference between you and some people, they..." " They're more humble." "I'm the humblest!" " And they they think of a lot of things, but don't necessarily think that they're worth saying." "Oh man!" " Where is this going?" " It's yellow, so you get a double Decker." " I get an upper Decker." "Where is he?" "Bye forever, I'll see you tomorrow." " Yeah." " Love you." " I think we worked it out." "We came to a good compromise." "And we'll see how things go." "It's not unusual for Noah to say things that kind of hurt my feelings, but I get over them pretty quickly," "'cause I know they're not on purpose." "And we'll have a good day tomorrow, so." " I'm very tired." "I just worked a whole week with a bunch of Aspie kids, and now I'm gonna continue to hang out with a bunch of Aspie kids, doing something that's much more difficult." "Can I wake you up yet?" " No, but Jack is running way late." " I noticed, did you talk to him?" "Everybody, welcome to improv 101, because we want you to improve yourself" "101 percent!" " You can't spell improve without improv!" " Oh, that's great!" " Who summons the bee keeper?" " Funny!" "And the rabbi interrupts him, and says, "Sorry to cut you off!"" " Oh no!" " See what you did?" "And what do you think, how should the razor blade sketch end?" "They're cutting themselves with razors." "God, I wish there were a less painful way to test razor blades!" "This is really funny, who wrote this?" "You by yourself, New Michael?" " Yeah." " It's really good." " I wrote it way back in March." " Okay, so..." " And remember what happens in March..." " Stays in March!" " I'll go get another one from the truck!" " No, no, no." "No, no, no." "You say, "What, already?"" " fart?" " I don't think so." " I didn't." " Yeah, I did." " That's why we got rid of you." " You know one thing about, my least favorite thing about you guys is that you smell and you sneeze and cough." " Yeah, like you smell any better." " And fart all over my room." "But with all you guys here together, it makes it, I can't even be in this room, it smells so bad afterwards, so." " I mean, we all do it!" "You do it in my house, too." "All right, you wanna do one of these sketches, New Michael somewhere?" "Or do you wanna sit here and smell things that you don't want to smell?" " I don't, no, I..." " Well we're not, we're almost..." "Well..." " All right, New Michael Nees to take a break, that's fine." " That's really, that really like sensory up the wall." " Okay." "I'll stop." "All right." " Yeah, I'm feeling all awkward, 'cause my sister's home." "See this is why I can't do it at my house." " We gave you the option..." " No, you didn't!" "You said we have to," ""Where else is it gonna be?" ""It has to be at your house!"" " No, I asked." " I'm not, I'm not talkin' about you!" " Okay!" " It's been going fine, New Michael." "Do you need us to go..." " I understand rehearsal's been going well so far." "I'm saying that I feel upset." "And my sister hasn't been home the whole time, either!" " Do you need us to go downstairs?" "'Cause I'm hungry, I could eat something." " I want you guys to leave." " I'm not gonna leave." "It's 5:30." "We have an hour and a half, we need to rehearse." " Well I'm leaving, then." "Fuck you guys!" "Like I can't handle this." " All right." "Keep working on this." "That's always how it goes." "All right." "Ethan, are you all right?" " Well, I'm not happy, but I'm doing okay." " New Michael just gets sensitive when his family's home." " Yeah, and well, he doesn't need to act like it's everyone else's fault." " I get frustrated, I can't handle it." "I had to leave." "I feel awkward doing rehearsals and stuff in my house." "And now it's a little overwhelming." "You know, I just want it to be done now." " I'm gonna log out, we have to leave now." " Well hopefully New Michael won't kill us tomorrow." " I know, he's probably gonna be pissed, he's gonna be more sensitive than normal when he arrives, it's gonna make rehearsal more difficult." " Later!" " Didn't want to be doing rehearsal here, and like I was having a really, really bad sensory issue." "I guess I kind of feel like a jerk getting upset about things, but it's like," "I mean it is really annoying having- it's just a big inconvenience having it at my house, that's all." "Like here's this huge huge prop that I wasn't expecting to be here, but," "I'll just put it over here in the corner, I guess." "That wasn't a good choice by me, at all." " All of this stuff that's hard, that's difficult for us, this is what we get for starting Asperberger's Are Us." "Like these are challenges we have as Aspies, we can't do multiple things at once." "This is why we get extra credit from people who don't know anything about us and just know about the concept of the troupe, this is the price we're paying." "So I guess in the end, it works out pretty fair." "How many people go to the Special Olympics 'cause they want to see somebody break a world record?" "I wish more people did." "Certainly, some people there can be really quick or really good at their sport." "But it is the challenges that interest them, and this is one of the challenges we have to face that makes this show insane for us to have booked." "♪ So I don't appear" "♪ To need your help" "♪ I'll look like I'm okay" "♪ I'll tell you the truth" "♪ I'd love to be a different way" "♪ I love playing songs to 20 people every night" "♪ But I'd rather play to packed houses under stage lights" "♪ I'd rather quit my job" "♪ As a professor" "♪ And just do this all day" "♪ 'Cause this is what I was born for" "♪ But I'm not complainin'" "♪ I love performin'" "♪ And entertainin'" "♪ And I make a good livin'" "♪ And I get the groupies" "♪ And some of them love me" "♪ But why aren't I famous?" "♪ Why aren't I famous?" "♪" "Laughter, really." "And also about improving people's standards for comedy, if anything, that's the takeaway message from what we're doing." "Everyone always asks, you know," ""So the point of you guys isn't to" ""teach everybody that autistic people," ""that autistic people can be funny?"" "And like, no, that's not the point." "Like, we're together 'cause we think we're funny and we like what we're doing, and we want it out there." "We want to sail a flotilla to Spain." "That's really what we've been working on for for the last three years, yeah." "I'm glad you get it." "They cut that from the NPR interview, 'cause they didn't get it." "Buh-bye." "We're not trying to connect with the audience." "Our goal is to be funny for our own entertainment." "If you enjoy it, that's wonderful." "If you don't, I'm sorry that you didn't!" "The audience gives you positive reinforcement, and that's awesome." "But, if they don't, you get it from succeeding at your goal of being hilarious for your own sake." "And so if your material is good, and you don't screw it up live, then you won!" "And I love winning!" "Almost as much as I love swinging." "We want to sell out Earth." "We want aliens to come to the show and be turned away because it's full." "But we're realistic, so if the aliens get in, that's okay, too." " Well today," "I will be talking to K-Strass on the phone." " K-Strass is back with us again from Zip-Zap." "We thank you for joining us this morning." " All right, K-Strass, good morning, thanks for coming on!" " Thank you, how are you?" " Good!" " And you go around to schools with yo-yos?" " Teaching kids about being green!" " Actually, I've only been in one school so far." "Mm-hmm." " And I'll be honest, it didn't go so hot." "In fact, it was literally a major disaster." " Oh no!" " What I say is, you know, life has a lot of ups and downs." " Mm-hmm." " And..." "Let's bring it back home for a clean landing," "10-4." "Then..." " Oh!" " Oh, you all right?" " Could we, do you have a clip?" " A clip?" " Like did Joe send a clip over?" " No, we don't have a clip." "That's what you're doing." "A clip of what you've done before?" " Yeah." " Never forget the first time I saw K-Strass." "Noah sent me an email with two of the videos." "I walked upstairs to my bedroom, and I was literally hysterically laughing" "in bed and thinking about it the rest of the night." "Here it is!" "Hello!" " Is this New Michael?" " Yes, yes this is New Michael." "Is this Mark?" " This is Mark." "This is New Mark." " Oh, oh great!" "Was your father Old Mark?" " Yes," "Mark Senior." "New Mark Se" "Old Mark Senior." " Oh." "We share" "I never knew somebody else who did that." " No one else does that, New Michael." "Just you." " Yeah." "You can do the, you know, just I'll be literally every other character except for Shapeshifter, who will be K-Strass." " I just want to thank you guys for thinking of me for doing this." "That means a lot." " I'm not," "Yeah, well, I mean, it means a lot to us to have you doing this for us." "I mean we're all really, really big fans." "All right, talk to you in a minute." " All right." " Bye." " All right, I'll talk to you then." " All right." "You know, I almost feel a little like giggling, 'cause his voice actually is just like K-Strass's voice, and like I feel silly saying, if it makes me giggle remembering K-Strass, it's like I'm talking to K-Strass!" " They really kind of took to the K-Strass character." "This is a character that you would meet in Wisconsin." "You know, somebody that is very friendly and discloses a little bit too much, and but I was really flattered that they found something a little bit deeper." "Hello, Literate Man." "I have assumed the shape of K-Strass, the yo-yo man." " Wow, your shapeshifting skills are uncanny!" "All right, um..." " Do you want me holding my soda still?" " Yeah, sure, hold the soda." "That'll be funny." " Warm brain," "I got a brain fart, and yeah, I just, I don't think I could go." " All right, scene!" "Totally." "Definitely what you expect from K-Strass." "So, he's good at it." "He knows what he's doing." " Here we have the infamous gazebo, which I'm really excited to get a shot of, 'cause it has the stupidest sign you could put outside of a gazebo." "'Cause what the hell else are you gonna do in a gazebo?" "I'm a rebel without a cause, baby!" "No, I love the guys in Asperger's Are Us." "I think their positives outweigh their negatives definitely." "We do piss each other off, but we're like brothers." "I mean, I wouldn't really know, having never had one." " Me and Noah started to develop a pretty strong friendship a little bit before Asperger's Are Us." "He would call me and we'd talk on the phone for a really long time, and I was like, "Oh, that's cool," you know?" "You know, 'cause it was still like" "Noah's the older counselor." "You wouldn't call your close friends your mentors, but back then," "Noah was a close friend but also a mentor because of the age difference and how much he had to teach me." " Ideally, New Michael would be able to get a career out of this." "I would love to make a career out of this more than anything but if I can't, I'll be okay." "I'm really concerned what New Michael's gonna do if this doesn't work." " Being in a working relationship with him though, has in some ways makes" "you know, in some ways I think is not necessarily good for our friendship at this moment, at this point." " This one time," "New Michael grabbed Noah in the middle of the night, drove him to the beach, threw him in the water, said, "I never want to see you again."" "Noah got back at him, burned the house down, they both did some jail time, it was, it's not a moment in our troupe we like to remember, and" "Jack, well, the less said about Jack's dark side, the better." "Sorry, I totally knocked you off base!" " Although I know we're not gonna hang out or talk much in the next nine months," "New Michael really is my best friend." "And has been since he was a teenager, which is weird, but you try and find another Aspie who I can get along with, and maybe we'll be best friends instead." " Their humor, I think, is what really brought them together, and then Noah would extend the relationship." " I hope you guys aren't talking about me." " You told me to be myself!" " See, see how the humor just, it's just there!" " I actually didn't have to say too much of anything." "Good thing your mother's being interviewed, 'cause she has a lot of great things to say." " No, you know me." "I talk too much." "I'm allotted like one question a day or something so he doesn't like to give away too much." "So we can only get so much information, one at a time." "That's another reason why I like that" "I help get these guys around, because I get Ethan and Noah and Jack, and I'll ask them," ""So do you guys have a performance coming up?"" ""Oh yeah, at such and such and such and such."" " It's available online for free, if anything." "Information." " Uh-huh." "Sometimes it's not, but that's how I find out a lot of stuff, too, so hopefully..." " Are you guys coming to this show?" " I don't think so." " Where is it, in Cambridge?" " Yeah." " Why can't we go?" " I don't think" "we are overly welcome, but that's okay." "'Cause we've seen them perform..." " Are we welcome New Michael?" " Hmm." " What time is it?" "The show?" " The show's at midnight, so you guys probably wouldn't want to go." " Aww, shucks." " I'd be sleeping at that time!" " Yeah." "Oh well, we'll catch your next show, honey!" " I guess that's telling me you don't want me to go." " He does that a lot." "From the mainstream." " We gotta go." " Yes." " Uh oh." " So I have to leave." " Okay." " The interview's clean." "My son don't want me there." " Yeah, I know, I know the feeling." " I don't understand why." " Well, it's the same as, you know how you're worrying about how you're, you know, you're like I don't know if I'm a good father." "I think it's that same sense of of shame and insecurity that he has that makes him not want you guys to see what he's doing, 'cause he just feels funny about it." " Feels uncomfortable?" " Yeah, exactly." "I don't think it's anything personal, it's just, you know, you're his parents and so he's like, that's the most intimate thing, and so it's scary for him." " So I better not let him see me!" "Yeah, exactly!" "If you hide, he'll be all right." " Yeah." " Yeah, you know?" "I didn't let my mom see me play a show til I was like 24, and I didn't let my dad until I was, what, 21?" "22, something like that." "He tells us stories about like," ""Yeah, me and my dad hung out throwing socks at the fan," ""and it was really fun."" "Yeah, yeah." "We do some fun things." " He loves that stuff about you, you know?" "And those are the moments." " Those were the old days." " Oh, nah, that wasn't that long ago." "That was a couple years ago that you guys were doing that." " Yeah, yeah, you know." " But he got that silliness from you and it makes him such a better comedian." "Every Aspie parent seems to fear their kid hates them or their kid is unhappy, and it's 'cause their kid isn't communicating very much with them." "That's part of the autism is you're self-centered, so you really want to stay within you and not get out and interact with the world, which includes your parents, unfortunately." "Is it overwhelming for you to ride the train like this when you have somewhere important to go?" " Back and forth." " Yeah, that makes sense." " Like just back and forth is overwhelming, but if I were just riding the train coming to a point, it would be fine." "I mean, transferring is not an issue, although I do always get overwhelmed in rush hour 'cause I'm bumping into people." " It's good you aren't in any Chris Tucker films." "Doing really good, dude." "I'm really happy that we're in this troupe together." " Very good, me too." " You are the rock that keeps us alive." " Great." " Pretty good." "Nice work, Cardboard Cut-out Man." "Hopefully it will be having a grand vision and succeeding, but there's always a lot of risk when we do something big." "This is the biggest show we've ever done." "On a stage." "When they get here, we'll run through superhero palace." "Ethan, what are the train options?" "10:40, because that's the only option for Jack." " I guess." " Way to not pick up!" " Is New Michael not answering?" " Yep!" " Okay, well, he probably doesn't know." "Don't get personally attacked, upset at him." "Ethan, we will work this out, it is irritating and stressful, just know that it will be okay." " I know, it's just..." " It is annoying, I concur." "Hey, come on in." "What's up, Meaghan?" " Hello." " Hey." "Look through this, see if any of this is unclear, and just turn it off whenever we're ready." "And like loop it if you have to if we're not ready." " Okay." " Here's the lights." "This is a more readable one." " Yes, this is more readable." " I can print this out for you at some point." " Meaghan gave this shirt to me a little over two years ago." " That's important." "Guys, it's 7:45." "Meaghan, what time do you have to leave?" " I have to be on the 9:30 train, so I'm probably gonna leave here at like... 8:55?" " Like an hour?" " Yeah, like an hour, maybe a little less." " Okay, we have to run through non-stop guys." "Okay guys, ready?" "Everyone ready, start." " Just play the song?" " Play the song at the, yeah, exactly." "Suicide Man's alone on stage." " Fine, Condescending Man!" "I'll check, I'll check!" "Shut up, Overthinker Man!" " Yup, we're freeing Gandhi right now!" " Hey, thanks Thinker Man!" " Hello!" "I'm Gary Dink!" "I do observational comedy, things that are funny 'cause they're true!" "Audiences love sitting in chairs." "This guy knows what I'm talkin' about!" "I'm Gary Dink!" "I was getting bored of doing the same." " Well are were." " Exactly!" " I mean we would have gone on a huge hiatus anyways." "I wonder how much we're all gonna be changed you know, in nine months." "You know, Jack, I wonder if..." " Alcoholics, all three of you!" " I wonder, you know, especially Holistic Healing Man, but..." " One thing your dad said today is that he's really..." " You talked to my dad?" " He drove us to the station." " He did?" " Yeah." " Oh, oh yeah!" "I forgot that you guys were with him." " Yeah, he said he was really proud of you for all kinds of reasons." " Yeah, I love my dad." " I hope so, he loves you so much." " I know." " He really does." " One special thing he doesn't take our relationship for granted." " Yeah, that's important." " He definitely used to, so." " Do you?" " I got a close circle of five friends." "The Asperberger's Are Us," "Ben, and Meaghan." "Five friends." "And Jack's going away, and Ben just had a baby, so, down to three." "Now usually I keep my Facebook account deactivated for all of the year" "except for the month of my birthday, which is October, so people can write "happy birthday"" "on my Facebook wall." "But, I also reactivate it if I have something to promote." "And considering this might be our last ever show," "I wanted it to be a good one that I can invite people to." "I'm definitely more confident in it now." "It was a good choice making these eggs." "I hope today's a day of many good choices." "Now the, the creeping things of the ground and the fowl of the air will" "take care of the rest." "I just came down here for a photo op, and then it turned into a disaster, so." " Do you have a AAA membership?" " I do, I can call now." " We don't have this time to spare right now." " Okay, uh." " Nothing bad is going to happen." " Well, the show will..." " No, that won't be true." "We'll just be a little late to rehearsal." "That's the worst-case scenario." " Yeah, but how are we gonna rehearse if Jack's down here?" " Jack untied this, guys..." " Hey, good job, Jack." " Seriously." "Can you get the door, Ethan?" " Is that everything?" "You need Cardboard Cut-out Man." " Thank you." "Before I go, one more thing." " Yeah?" " Your shorts." " You don't need to give them to me." "They're yours to wear in the show." " I meant I was setting them..." " Oh, okay." " Down, but I think I guess I already did that." " Okay." "I have your hat over here." " I thought you had more stuff." "The audience will probably know" "I'm reading my lines out of a book, but..." " But we'd announce that you are, 'cause you're Literate Man, that's the whole point." " Are we bothering with this chore wheel or not?" " Yes." " Okay." " Yeah, that's for the set." "Hey, what's this?" "Whose mask is this?" " Libertarian Man, but he's dead, so it doesn't matter." " What do you call an actor who succeeds in California?" " Not now, Emilio Estevez Joke Man." " Emilio Best in the Westevez!" " Will you shut up?" "I'm gonna kill you one of these days." " Okay, I'll give it an Emilio Restevez." " So this transition should be very short." " Yep, it should be." " Yeah." " I'm not sure if this is how the dress gets put on." " I wish you guys had addressed this earlier." " We need to do" " Over everyone's head." " Are we doing scene 18 with K-Strass?" "Are you pulling that up on the computer?" " Yes." " Okay, so you're bringing it up?" " Everyone ready, guys?" " And for freeing Gandhi," "Literate Man, you get one gold star!" " Thanks, Gold Star Man!" " Uh, is there any way I can get a teal star?" "Just 'cause I don't really like gold." " So now you?" " No, then it's you." " Well no, no, no." "But wait, don't you have" "Oh, you're right." "We all know that you want something different to make you special, but remember, you're not special, okay?" "So you're gonna have to take what you can get, don't worry about it." " Yeah, uh," "anyway, I really should get going, 'cause I have to go pick my dad up from his blood work." "So, and that's over up in Oshkosh, and that's gonna because I'm using my my mom's car, which is, to be honest with you, a hunk-a-junk." "Anyway," "I got warm brain going, so I'll talk to you guys soon, and maybe I'll shapeshift," "shapeshift later for you guys." "Okay, bye." " Remember when we made the last video K-Strass made, and it's him alone for the first time, and it was us on stage with him, and he was doing the lines we wrote for him?" "That was pretty cool." " It was a very true story." "♪ We're here at Palace Marvel" "♪ And allow us to see superheroes" "♪ None of us can read" "♪ Except Literate Man" "♪ The crimes he sees" "♪ In a book in his hand" "♪ Superhero Palace" "♪ DC won't allow us to say "superheroes"" "♪ Time is different here" "♪ There are no women either" "♪ No one has strong hands" "♪ Except the Missing Bear Man" "♪ That's how it goes ♪" " Thank you." " I have $20 for two tickets." " Okay, you think I'd be good for the doc if I throw up before stage?" " Yes!" " You have similar faces, are you guys related?" " No." " A lot of people ask us that, but we're not." " Hopefully a lot more people show up." " We gotta hide in the back." " Well we don't wanna sit too far back." " All right guys, flicker the house lights, and then you can go take your place." " I don't think he knows I'm coming." "He doesn't know that we're here." "It's already funny." "They're a little bit, several minutes behind schedule." "Oh, there we go!" " Hi everyone, thanks for coming." "We're Asperger's Are Us, we're really, really grateful that you're here." "It's true, we're the first comedy troupe composed of people on the autism spectrum." " So if we're not funny, blame it on Ethan's disability." " I was born with no soul." " We came up with this totally original new show, and we're gonna debut it for you tonight." "Enjoy the show!" " It sucks 'cause you guys forgot your lines, but it looks like I forgot mine." " It's okay, it worked." "That was really good." "Son, come in here!" " Yes, dad?" " It's here." "It's finally here!" "Your big day, the day we've been waiting for your whole life!" "It's finally here!" " What big day?" " It's your funeral!" " What?" " Yay!" "All our friends and family are gonna be there, and they're gonna say, "Yay, Ethan!" ""We miss him!"" " Dad, have I been bad?" " Of course not!" "Look over there, do you see it?" " Yeah?" " It's your grave!" "It says, "Ethan, 2006-2013." ""He walks with God now."" "And do you see next to it?" " Uh-huh." " It's your brothers' and sisters' graves!" "Here, it's time to give you your gifts." "Here, just go on back into the fireplace, they're in the back there, you love wood, and and kerosene and old newspapers, right?" " Dad, it's cold back here!" " Oh, it'll be warm soon." " Dad, I'm scared, why are you doing this?" " To teach you fire safety." "Get out of there, son." "Have you learned your lesson?" " Yes, I promise I'll never play with matches again." " If only your brothers and sisters had been this receptive to my teachings." " Oh, I hope the president gets here soon." "This is the biggest scandal since I don't know when." " 1884?" " Yeah, maybe that Maria Haplin thing." " Oh yeah, the Maria Haplin scandal with Grover Cleveland." "I, this might be bigger than that." " Yeah." " I think the president's coming in now." " Thank you all for coming." "I believe we all know why I've called this press conference, so let's get right to the questions." "Yes, sir." " Why did you decide to marry a train?" " I wanted to make an honest train out of her." " Have you thought about the possibility of having kids?" " I just hope that if we do have kids," "they'll be more like their mother who's always on time, and not like their father, who is delayed." "Next question." " So, how's your sex life?" " I assume it's just like anyone else's." "I'll go into her and ride her to a wonderful place." " Oh, like uh, like uh," "South Station?" " Are you a pervert?" "North Station!" " First of all, yes, I am a pervert." " Thank you for your honesty." "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" "Sometimes you just gotta get your hands dirty!" " Husband not home." " Uh-huh." " Do you need help?" " I understand." "I can appreciate how women are trying to break into the plumbing business." " Noah Britton claims he's good at basketball." " You get one shot." " Hoops!" " Looks like you dropped the ball on this one." " I wish there were a better way to test razor blades!" " I'm so excited that we're finally gonna get to see Elton John!" " Elton, ladies and gentlemen!" "Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen!" "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Stay away from danger!" "There's danger over there, don't go there!" " I don't think this is really Elton John." " I see no one doing any chores." "I blame you." " Fine, Condescending Man." "I'll check!" "I'll check." " Great idea, Train Schedule Man." "I like it!" " No problem!" "After all, the train is the best way to travel!" " Shut up!" "The bus is the best way to travel!" "We will ride the number one out of Newburyport, and transfer in Lynn to the number 47!" " Bus Schedule Man!" "My arch-nemesis!" " You just relax." " Okay, yeah, thanks Condescending Man." " You're welcome." "I'm glad we had this little chat." " Uh-huh, yeah." " And Gandhi, for being so brave, you get a gold star." " Is there any way I can get a teal star?" "Just cause I don't really like gold." "I mean, I'll take a gold one, but..." " You take what you can get, and you shut up!" " Maybe I'll shapeshift shapeshift later for you guys." " Cleaning Woman!" "Bear Man is dead!" " Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Thank you all!" " New Michael." " What?" " I just want to congratulate you." " Well thanks, Dad." " I think you did an excellent, excellent job." "Honestly." " Thanks." "Let's switch sides." " Switch sides?" " Yeah." "This hand's, the hand shown's the more dominant one." "Good job." " Thanks." " Such a great kid." " I did not expect it to be like, they're surprising me." "If I knew they were there," "I would not have acted as well." "And it was nice, it was nice that I didn't know until the very end, and you know, they all liked it." "I think my dad just enjoyed seeing me act on stage and seeing me be successful." "Genuinely is proud of me, so that's nice." "That will probably make the documentary, for sure." "Maybe it won't, I don't know." "Those are the kind of squishy moments you look for." "Squishy." " Tonight's show was good, and it's nights like this after a late show when everyone else is like," ""I'm partying, I don't know what I'm doing," ""it's Friday night, I'm partying."" "And I'm like, going to celebrate by going home by myself." "This is the first time I've gone on a driving tour in two years." "I absolutely do need to know that what I'm doing is working." "Not just for its own sake, but there's definitely some aspect of" "needing love as a human, but also, you know, insecurity" "at work." "You know, when I was 12," "I was like, "What's the best way to get constant approval" ""and attention from everyone?"" "Oh, I'll be a rock star." "Perfect." "And and I was a natural, so that helped." "I gotta go." "I gotta go on tour." " Books," "The Bible and the Complete Works of William Shakespeare." "Toiletries, toothbrushes six, toothpaste five tubes, towels two, warm, waterproof jacket." " You're really taking your sombrero?" " Yes." " How are you packing that?" " I'm gonna wear it on the plane." " Hmm." " You don't put things in suitcases on hangers, do you?" " No." " Typically not." " Okay." "Not a very good packer." "It's been a wonderful journey, but I'm definitely gonna have a lot of moments when I miss them, when I miss talking to somebody who's on my own wavelength." "I'm not gonna have any, probably any Aspies to talk to while I'm in England." "That's gonna be really tough." " These guys are probably my best friends." "So, I don't really have anything bad to say." " We wanted to do something different, and we did, and I'm glad we did." "It was more fun doing something different." "That's what being an artist is, to me, is making new things." "I can imagine my Wikipedia page, opening paragraph," "maybe it would say," ""New Michael the comedian."" "But maybe some day it'll also say," ""New Michael the entrepreneur," ""comedian, writer, director," who knows?" "Maybe like the last sentence," ""And also has," ""and also was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome."" "That's how I imagine it." " This past autumn," "I went crazy over pumpkin spice and like everything autumn-related." " Of course you did." " Just because like I missed it so much!" "I lived here all my life!" "I never had an autumn without New England." " It's been a year and a half since we were together last and a lot's changed." "I guess the biggest change for me has been Rachel." "This internship with the Harlem Globetrotters keeps me pretty busy." "I'm old, but I think I can do it, you know?" "Like I got the height," "I got the flexibility." "I don't have the coordination, but that's why it's an internship!" " This interest in trains and transportation, you know, started as a perseveration, but it's really become more of a career path for me." "And I think that puts me at a pretty good advantage." " What I like about New Michael is that that's not what it's supposed to be." "It's breaking the rules." "It's a serious name, it's a very cool name, but on the same time, it's also a joke." "Originally when I got to UMass Lowell and I started taking some of my classes," "I didn't correct my professors and tell them to call me New Michael," "initially 'cause I was too nervous, being at UMass Lowell for the first time," "but that's gonna change now." "It started to change at the end of the semester, and I'm not gonna be afraid to do it any more." "New Michael the driver!" " I prefer the lotus position," "I find it's much better for my Qi!" "Namaste." " I thought Gordon was always well attended!" "Sweaty Tooth was right!" "No one's here!" " Yes, yes!" " He fell there." "Can you write that in?" " Yes, I respect your religious practices." " The most important thing is to take it very seriously, you know?" "It's a very serious business." "You can't have any frivolity involved at all." " You know, as an entertainer, you're an entrepreneur." "You are a businessman, and you're selling entertainment." "Just like in real estate, in comedy, location is everything." " Explain." " I was just joking." " Steven Shore, autistic professor said," ""If you met one person with autism," ""you've met one person with autism."" "I hope that makes sense." "We're not all the same." "♪ I was born knowing nothin'" "♪ Everyone 'round me was teachin' stuff" "♪ Some of which was important" "♪ Most of which didn't matter" "♪ Then one day I felt my mom" "♪ Become a stranger and that was fun" "♪ And I got out of her damn home" "♪ To make my life my own" "♪ Oscar" "♪ I met so many lovely ladies" "♪ Then one day I found one" "♪ I said I would like to marry" "♪ When that ended I settled down" "♪ I've got the best deal in the town" "♪ A friend who really likes me now" "♪ And maybe will forever" "♪ I'll still walk to Korn concerts" "♪ They might be great, I might get hurt" "♪ And come home with lots of blisters" "♪ And sore muscle smiles" "♪ This will continue for a while" "♪ Til I see I'm not still a child" "♪ And we'll say, "Hey that was the best"" "♪ Until the end arrives" "♪ One day there will be a grave" "♪ With my name on it and a date" "♪ And underneath that it will say" "♪ Help, I'm still alive ♪"