"Where is he?" "Wheeeerrrre is heeee?" "Wheeeerrrre is heeee?" "There he is!" "Hey baby..." "Hi, Haley." " What's that?" " Well, remember our list of Things To Make Us Look Normal?" " I bought you a dog!" " Wow!" "He's cute..." "Say "I know!" "I know!"" "And he already has a name!" ""Jack Russell Mix."" "Ooh, doesn't that look chewy!" "I thought we'd pick out a dog together." "Well, we stopped at the pet place so I could admire the fish, you know, how I do." " You do?" " He does." "There's so..." "And there was..." "Jack!" "Instant love." "Seems a little impulsive." "Yeah, well... being impulsive got us both really hot husbands." "It also once got me a tattoo that says "more cowbell." I just... prefer big dogs." "Dog size isn't the measurement of manhood, Brady." "Manhood is based on how attractive your partner is." "But a little dog is such a stereotype." "Only if you buy him tiny little outfits." "Can't you just return him?" "No!" "Imprinting has happened." "We've done the whole Avatar tail/hair thing." "I'm sorry... but as the patriarch of this relationship, I'm going to have to put my foot down." "Patriar... you kidding me?" "Haley quietly exits."