"♪ IN THE NOT‐TOO‐DISTANT FUTURE ♪" "♪ NEXT SUNDAY, A, D, ♪" "♪ THERE WAS A GUY NAMED JOEL ♪" "♪ NOT TOO DIFFERENT FROM YOU OR ME ♪" "♪ HE WORKED AT GIZMONIC INSTITUTE ♪" "♪ JUST ANOTHER FACE IN A RED JUMPSUIT ♪" "♪ HE DID A GOOD JOB CLEANING UP THE PLACE ♪" "♪ BUT HIS BOSSES DIDN'T LIKE HIM ♪" "♪ SO THEY SHOT HIM INTO SPACE ♪" "♪ WE'LL SEND HIM CHEESY MOVIES ♪" "♪ THE WORST WE CAN FIND, LA‐LA‐LA ♪" "♪ HE'LL HAVE TO SIT AND WATCH THEM ALL ♪" "♪ AND WE'LL MONITOR HIS MIND, LA‐LA‐LA ♪" "♪ NOW, KEEP IN MIND JOEL CAN'T CONTROL ♪" "♪ WHEN THE MOVIES BEGIN OR END, LA‐LA‐LA ♪" "♪ BECAUSE HE USED THOSE SPECIAL PARTS ♪" "♪ TO MAKE HIS ROBOT FRIENDS ♪" "♪ ROBOT ROLL CALL ♪" "‐ ♪ CAMBOT ♪ ‐ PAN LEFT," "‐ ♪ GYPSY ♪ ‐ HI, GIRL," "‐ ♪ TOM SERVO ♪ ‐ WHAT A COOL GUY," "‐ ♪ CRO‐O‐O‐OW ♪ ‐ WISECRACKER," "♪ IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW HE EATS AND BREATHES ♪" "♪ AND OTHER SCIENCE FACTS, LA‐LA‐LA ♪" "♪ REPEAT TO YOURSELF, "IT'S JUST A SHOW" ♪" "♪ "I SHOULD REALLY JUST RELAX" ♪" "♪ FOR MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 ♪" "Computeroice:" "30 SECONDS TO COMMERCIAL SIGN," "HEY, EVERYBODY, I'M JOEL, I'M MAROONED IN OUTER SPACE" "ON THE SATELLITE OF LOVE," "AND I'M THE SUBJECT OF A BIZARRE MOVIE‐WATCHING EXPERIMENT," "NOW, I GUESS, SO ARE YOU," "I'M UP HERE WITH MY TWO HOMEMADE BUDDIES‐‐" "CROW AND TOM SERVO HERE, YEAH," "AND WE'RE WORKING ON TOM SERVO NOW," "I THINK, UH‐‐ TRYING TO FIX HIM UP," "HEY, WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING THERE," "IT'S THE ONLY TORSO I HAVE," "COMMERCIAL SIGN IN 15 SECONDS," "WELL, I THINK I FOUND THE PROBLEM HERE, BUDDY," "SOME KIND OF A COMPUTER VIRUS HAPPENING HERE," "OH, GRODY, IT LOOKS LIKE A MAGNETIC TAPEWORM," "COMMERCIAL SIGN IN 5, 4, 3, 2," "COMMERCIAL SIGN NOW," "I GOT IT, YOU'LL BE SHIPSHAPE IN NO TIME," "WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, DON'T GO AWAY, YOU'LL BE REAL GONE," "♪" "ALL RIGHT, THAT OUGHT TO DO IT, BUDDY," "HOP DOWN AND GRAB YOURSELF A LOLLIPOP," "I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID," "BUT MY BACK HASN'T FELT THIS GOOD IN MONTHS," "COOKIN' WITH CRISCO NOW," "FUNNY, YOU DON'T LOOK ANY BETTER," "UH‐OH, YOU GUYS, LOOK DOWNCAST," "THE BIG CHEESES ARE CALLING," "COME IN, JOEL THE MOLE," "MY LITTLE FROSTED SPONGE CAKE," "HEY, SIRS, WHAT ARE YOU WRECKING TODAY?" "OH, NOTHING, REALLY, WE'RE JUST KIND OF HANGING OUT, YOU KNOW‐‐" "LARRY, IT'S MAGIC TIME," "MAKE WITH THE INVENTION EXCHANGE, PLEBE," "WELL, AS YOU KNOW, EVEN AVID SMOKERS" "CAN'T STAND THE SMELL OF A TAR‐BELCHING PIPE," "AND SO I INVENTED THIS‐‐ THE NEVER‐LIGHT PIPE," "IT'S GOT A SOPHISTICATED SPRINKLER SYSTEM," "BUILT IN WITH A SMOKE DETECTOR," "SO ANY TIME SOMEBODY TRIES TO LIGHT UP," "SEE, IT PUTS IT OUT FOR YOU," "‐ I'LL TRY IT ON HIM, ‐ OUCH," "LIKE THAT, THEY SHOULD NEVER, EVER BE ABLE TO LIGHT UP WITH THIS THING," "NO MORE," "IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK," "OH!" "WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK, SIRS?" "I THINK IT'S ALMOST AS CLEVER" "AS THE PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN GAG," "I LOVE THAT GAG!" "IT'S GREAT!" "BETTER LET HIM OUT, HE'LL SUFFOCATE," "(aughs" "NOW, GET READY FOR OUR PART," "LARRY, LARRY?" "NOW, LAR AND I HAVE DISCOVERED" "THAT CHILDREN ADORE PUTTING THINGS IN THEIR MOUTH," "AND THEY LOVE PUPPETS," "WE'VE COMBINED THE TWO, PUT A LITTLE SPIN ON IT," "WE CALL IT "TONGUE PUPPETS"," "THE SHOW, LARRY?" "HEY, EVERYBODY, IT'S ME‐‐ MR, STINKY," "OH, LOVE EVERYBODY HERE," "(umbling )" "HA HA HA!" "YE," "I THINK YOU MIGHT WIN THE AWARD" "FOR THE MOST UNSANITARY TOY," "‐ WELL, THANK YOU, ‐ THANK YOU VERY MUCH," "‐ CONGRATULATIONS, ‐ ABSOLUTELY, NICE JOB," "All:" "H, BROTHER," "WE FINALLY GOT ONE," "IT'S ABOUT TIME, IT'S GREAT," "OH, HEH HEH," "YOUR FILM TODAY, JOEL," "IS A LITTLE TEEN EXPLOITATION FILM" "CALLED UNTAMED YOUTH," "AND, WELL, IT STARS THE GRANDE DAME" "OF PIMPLY TEENAGE ROMPS," "THE QUEEN OF ADOLESCENT ANGST‐‐" "‐ MAMIE VAN HOOTER, ‐ VAN DOREN," "DOREN, MAMIE VAN DOREN," "IT'S GOT HEP CATS, COOL CHICKS," "INSENSITIVE AUTHORITY FIGURES" "AND FEW SHOW‐STOPPING PRODUCTION NUMBERS," "ENJOY,IF YOU CAN," "‐ (larmuzzing ‐ OH, WE GOT MOVIES!" "LET'S GO!" "THOSE SCIENTISTS ARE JUST GEEKS," "AT LEAST IT'S A WARNER BROS, PICTURE," "IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE TEEN‐SPLOITATION THINGS," "HEY, I HOPE IT'S A CARTOON FIRST," "♪" "ANYTOWN, U, S, A," "LOOKS LIKE HE'S PLAYING FOOTBALL" "AGAINST CLAUDE RAINS UNIVERSITY," "♪" "HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET THE WORD "DADDY‐O" IS IN THIS FILM" "A MILLION TIMES?" "HEY, AFTER HIM!" "HE'S HIDING BEHIND THOSE CREDITS," "I THINK HIDING FROM THE POLICE WOULD BE EASIER" "IF THIS WAS BEFORE HARVEST TIME," "AT LEAST YOU HAD SOME CORN, YOU KNOW?" "I THINK THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF CORN IN THIS," "THIS IS LIKE THE STEPHEN KING BOOK‐‐ CHILDREN OF THE DIRT," "HEY, HIDE, QUICK," "HE'S ROADKILL, LOOK AT THAT," "DON'T EVER PLAY CHICKEN WITH TWO COP CARS," "CAN'T WIN," "THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE BEHIND THE CREDITS, HUH?" "HEH," "WORKS EVERY TIME," "SO HE STOLE AN ONION, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?" "IS THAT THE PRIMORDIAL SOUP?" "HEY, THERE'S A GIRL IN MY SOUP, HEH HEH!" "DON'T WORRY, SHE WON'T EAT MUCH," "(orcedaughter" "OKAY, COME ON OUT!" "WELL, YOU GO AWAY FIRST!" "OH, THAT'D BE NEGLECT OF DUTY," "WELL, AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT UNBATHED YOUTHS," "YOU'RE NOT MUCH OF A GENTLEMAN," "IT'S THE MAYTAG REPAIRMAN, HE DOES LOOK LONELY," "NOW GET OUT!" "HIYA, MITCH!" "OH, HI, LANDIS," "WHATCHA DOIN'?" "FISHING?" "NO, JUST SEXUALLY HARASSING A FEW TEENS," "THEY'RE SWIMMING WITH THEIR HIGH HEELS ON," "YOU STICK TO YOUR COTTON‐PICKING," "MY COTTON‐PICKING WHAT?" "NICE TAG," "OH, GOOD, I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA PUT THEIR LUGGAGE ON," "HUH?" "HAT?" "SO, I UNDERSTAND YOU TWO ARE UNTAMED," "HOW OLD ARE YOU TWO?" "22, 36," "21," "THAT'S MY LOCKER COMBINATION," "WHERE DO YOU LIVE?" "DU QUOIN," "DU WHAT?" "DU QUOIN, ILLINOIS," "THE BIGGEST COUNTY FAIR IN THE COUNTRY," "SULKY RACES AND EVERYTHING," "HOME OF THE FIGHTING DUCKS AND THE GLASS‐BOTTOM BOATS," "STRIPTEASE?" "NO, THANK YOU," ",DANCES, SKITS‐‐" "DON'T BOTHER BRIEFING HIM," "WHERE WERE YOU GOING?" "TO L, A," "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WERE"?" "JUST THAT, PICK UP YOUR STUFF," "YOU‐‐YOU MEAN YOU'D TAKE US IN" "JUST FOR SWIMMING AROUND IN THAT POND?" "WE WERE SO HOT, WE WALKED FOR MILES," "SHE'S STILL HOT," "HITCHHIKING'S ALSO AGAINST THE COUNTY CODE," "NOW, PICK UP THAT STUFF AND LET'S GO," "WHAT A GROUCH," "♪" "THERE'S NO ROOM FOR OUR STUFF," "THE BACK SEAT'S FILLED WITH A JAZZ COMBO," "NO, NO, BAGGAGE IN THE BACK, YOU IN FRONT," "NOW, YOU DRIVE IT INTO TOWN AND I'LL MEET YOU THERE," "QUIT PLAYING THAT SAX," "MEANWHILE, AT MOUNT VERNON," "HITCHHIKING MAY NOT SEEM A SERIOUS OFFENSE TO YOU," "BUT THERE HAVE BEEN TWO MURDERS" "INVOLVING HITCHHIKING IN THE LAST SEVEN MONTHS," "AND I COMMITTED BOTH OF THEM," "IN ONE CASE, A HITCHHIKER KILLED A MAN" "FOR HIS CAR AND MONEY," "JUST FOR SNORING TOO LOUD," ", WAS ASSAULTED AND MURDERED," "HER NAME WAS PINA," ", WITHOUT VISIBLE MEANS OF SUPPORT," "OH, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT," "YOU HAVE PLED GUILTY," "I KNOW SENTENCE YOU," "TO DEATH?" "JANE LOWE," "AND YOU, PENNY LOWE," "TO 30 DAYS' CONFINEMENT," "HUH?" "NOW, THAT MAY SEEM HARSH TO YOU," "'CAUSE IT IS," "BUT I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A CHOICE," "YOU MAY SERVE YOUR SENTENCE IN THE COUNTY JAIL," "OR YOU MAY SERVE IT" "AS AGRICULTURAL WORKERS ON A RANCH," "GREEN ACRES?" "JAIL, PLEASE, JAIL," "YOU WILL DO HEALTHY, OUTDOOR WORK," "FOR WHICH YOU WILL BE PAID," "THEY LOOK HEALTHY ENOUGH," "AND YOU WILL REGAIN YOUR SELF‐RESPECT," "WE NEVER LOST IT, YOUR HONOR," "WHAT ABOUT THIS MOVIE?" "REAL STOIC JUDGE," "THEY CALL HER "STONE‐FACE"," "( indistinct )" "WE'LL TAKE THE HEALTHY OUTDOOR WORK, MA'AM," "SO DECREED," "LIKE I CARE," "MITCH?" "OH, BOB!" "WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE!" "NOT VERY JUDGE‐LIKE," "SO GOOD TO SEE YOU," "I'VE GOT A THOUSAND THINGS TO TELL YOU," "OH, EXCUSE ME A MINUTE," "COURT'S ADJOURNED UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING," "THEN THERE'S GONNA BE A BIG PARTY," "HMM, BIG DEAL," "WITH HER FOR A MOM, THAT GUY'S GOT A LIFE SENTENCE," "ALL RIGHT, COME ON, RIGHT OUT THE DOOR," "KOOKY TEENERS," "ANY‐REALLY‐GROOVY‐CITY, U, S, A," "LOOKS LIKE TOM WAITS' HOMETOWN," "TIRE FARMING, IT'S HARD, BUT IT'S WORTH IT," "SOMEWHERE OUT THERE IS THE ARK OF THE COVENANT," "IN A RADIO," "OH, I HOPE IT'S NOT THE VON TROPP FAMILY," "I HATE THEM," "HEY, IT'S THE BODY SNATCHER POD WAGON," "( indistinct chatter )" "LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE CLOWN CARS," "IT IS A CLOWN CAR," "COME ON, HURRY UP, GET A MOVE ON," "THEY JUST KEEP PILING OUT," "LOU GOSSETT, JR, WILL BE OUT HERE" "TO CHAT WITH YOU A LITTLE LATER," "( indistinct )" "AH, THE ORIGINAL CAST OF THE DIRTY DOZEN," ",IN YOUR CASE, COTTON PICKING‐‐" "IS NOT TO EXCEED $2,50 A DAY FOR EACH DAY," "AND THAT'S BEFORE TAX," "SO THE CODE GOES ON TO SAY," ""THE NET CREDITS TO EACH CONVICT'S ACCOUNT" "SHALL NOT BE PERMITTED TO EXCEED 75 CENTS A DAY,"" "THAT'S YOUR TAKE‐HOME PAY," "CUBBY!" "GREGOR," "ANNETTE," "HOPPY," "MABEL," "MABEL," "AND MABEL," "NOW, THAT MEANS IF ANY OF YOU MONKEYS ESCAPES," "ENOUGH DOUGH WILL BE TAKEN FROM THE DAILY PAY," "MONKEY DOUGH?" ",$200 FOR THE REWARD," "AND IF YOU LAND ON FREE PARKING," "YOU GET IT BACK, WHICH IS GREAT," "JUST FIGURE YOU'RE ON AN HONOR FARM," "YOU CAN GROWN HONOR LIKE THAT?" "SOME MORE CROWS TO FOLLOW THE BIG RED MACHINE," "WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?" "LOOKS LIKE HIS HAT IS WELDED TO HIS HEAD," "WHY'D YOU HAVE TO CALL US "CONVICTS" US FOR, MISTER?" "YOU PICK 400 POUNDS A DAY, I'LL CALL YOU COTTON PICKERS," "SAY, I LIKE THAT," "HEY, YOU, QUIT HOPPIN' AROUND," "HOW OLD ARE YOU, BABY?" "19," "HOW DID YOU KNOW TO CALL ME THAT?" "'CAUSE OF THE FEET IN YOUR PAJAMAS," "THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY CALLS ME‐‐BABY," "( laughs ) I SHOULD THINK SO," "YOU'LL BE PERFECT FOR MY EXPERIMENTS," "HMM, BOOKENDS," "WE'RE SISTERS," "OH, WOW," "HOW DID THEY TANGLE WITH THE LAW?" "HITCHHIKING VAGS," "WE'RE NOT VAGRANTS," "WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO L, A, FOR A BOOKING," "WE'RE ENTERTAINERS," "OH, YEAH, I BET," "THAT'S WHAT THIS PLACE NEEDS‐‐ENTERTAINMENT," "I MYSELF DABBLE IN VENTRILOQUISM," "WILL YOU STOP BOUNCING AROUND BACK THERE?" ",THESE PEOPLE SQUARED AWAY, SHOW THEM WHERE TO SLEEP" "AND SELL THEM SOME WORK CLOTHES," "ALL RIGHT, KIDS, FOLLOW ME," "♪" "KILLER SAX, MAN," "JUST KIDS," "YEAH, BUT WATCH IT," "WELL, HERE'S TO COTTON PICKIN'," "AND LITTLE GAL COTTON PICKERS," "SHUT UP," "LET'S SEE‐‐ 20 BUCKS A HEAD," "THAT'S 140 YOU OWE ME," "I KNOW, I KNOW," "I HAVE THAT MUCH IN MY SKIN," "THIS GOES RIGHT INTO A NEW T, V, SET FOR THE WIFE," "WHY DON'T YOU PUT IT IN A BANK?" "HUSH, PAWS, COME WITH DADDY," "♪" "‐ JACKSON, ‐ YES, SIR," "HEY, LITTLE MAN, COME HERE," "HUH?" "WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THE HOUSE?" "JUST BRINGING IN TODAY'S TALLIES, MR, TROPP," "YOU LOOK REAL PRETTY IN LIPSTICK," "WORKS EVERY TIME," "YOU'VE GOT 15 MINUTES TO GET OFF OF THIS PLACE," "BUT, MR, TROPP‐‐" "GET YOUR PAY AND GET LOST!" "AM I THE SULTRIEST PERSON YOU'VE EVER SEEN" "IN YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE?" "WHOOPS!" "( turns music off )" "( turns vacuum on )" "FRAN, I'M HOME," "OH, IT'S YOU," "( vacuum turns off )" "UH, YOU MISSED A SPOT," "WHAT'S THE MATTER, HONEY?" "I'M NOT FINISHED YET," "YES, YOU ARE FINISHED," "YOU JUST WASHED YOURSELF OUT OF A HOUSEKEEPER'S JOB," "WHY, ROSS, WHAT IN THE WORLD‐‐" "I WARNED YOU ABOUT CHINTZING AROUND," "I WARNED YOU ABOUT THAT GUY JACKSON," "I TOLD YOU THAT THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I WAS GONNA WARN YOU," "NOW, GET YOUR CLOTHES AND GET OUT," "BUT I'M WEARING MY CLOTHES," "OH, NO, RUSS, PLEASE," "I'M SORRY, HONEY, I PROMISE YOU I'LL BE GOOD," "PLEASE, RUSS, I'VE WORKED HARD FOR YOU!" "I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD," "SAY, SHE IS FRAN," "DON'T DO ANY TALKING," "OR BRAGGING," "OR SPEND THE REST OF YOUR TIME IN THE COUNTY CLINK," "HOGAN!" ",MALE OR FEMALE," "NOW GET OUT OF HERE," "♪ GET TO FEELING LIKE A ROLLING STONE ♪" "♪ HAVEN'T GOT A PLACE TO CALL MY OWN, ♪" "WHAT ARE THOSE?" "♪ AND THE TIME HAS FLOWN ♪" "♪ ROLLING ♪" "♪ LIKE A ROLLING STONE, ♪" "THAT GUITAR MAKES AMAZING SOUNDS," "‐ HEY, LOOK!" "GREG BRADY!" "‐ GREG BRADY!" "♪ , AND THE TEARS I'VE KNOWN ♪" "♪ ROLLING ♪" "♪ LIKE A ROLLING STONE ♪" "♪ KNOCKING AROUND ♪" "CHECK OUT THE LEVER ACTION," "NICE FULCRUM," "YOU CAN SEE A LOT OF CHORUS FROM HERE," "YOU KNOW, IT REALLY MAKES ME MISS" "THE POTATO AND COTTON FIELDS OF EARTH," "HEY, IT'S BLOND LEMON JEFFERSON," "(huckles" "♪ NEVER BE ALONE, ♪" "ANYONE WANT A SNOW CONE?" "I COULD GO TO THE GALLEY," "NO, THANKS," "♪ GET TO FEELING LIKE A ROLLING STONE, ♪" "DIG IN, BABE," "♪ HAVEN'T GOT A PLACE TO CALL MY OWN ♪" "AH, WELL, THE SHOW'S ALREADY STARTED," "BUT I CAN SEAT YOU UP FRONT," "♪ AND THE TIME HAS FLOWN ♪" "♪ OH, ROLLING ♪" "♪ LIKE A ROLLING‐‐ ♪" "UH, IX‐NAY ON THE UMP‐BAY AND RIND‐GAY," "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU PEEPER!" "All:" "TELL HIM, GREG!" "THIS IS LOOKING LIKE THE REUNION SHOW" "GREG'S BACK FROM SWEDEN, AND HE LOOKS WAY DIFFERENT," "THIS IS MY BED," "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" "THIS IS WHERE THEY PUT ME," "IT WAS MINE BEFORE," "WE'RE SISTERS, AND WE'RE STAYING TOGETHER," "I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE SIAMESE TWINS," "CATFIGHT!" ",YOU BIG TROLLOP," "TROLLOP FIGHT," ""TROLLOP", MY DEAR, MEANS A SOILED DOVE," "A FALLEN ANGEL, TO PUT IT SWEET AND NEAT," "HEY, IT'S LENNY AND SQUIGGY SCHOOL," "YOU TAKE THAT BACK, OR TAKE A BEATING," "TAKE THE BEATING!" "COME ON, IF YOU WANT AN ITALIAN HAIRCUT," "HUH?" "EXTRA MOUSSE OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW," "BREAK HER NECK, OH, BREAK HER NECK!" "GREG, BUDDY, IT'S ME‐‐ TOM!" "TOM SERVO!" "( all shouting )" "SCRATCH HER EYES OUT," "( shouting continues )" "KILL HER!" "KILL HER!" "FIGHT HER!" "FIGHT HER!" "SCRATCH HER!" "( shouting continues )" "( screaming )" "OH, RIGHT IN THE EYEHOLE," "OH, HE'S BLIND, THAT'S REAL FUNNY," "REAL GOOD, GREG," "( shouting continues )" "ALL RIGHT, I'LL BREAK IT UP," "OH, SORRY, EXCUSE ME," "WHO'S THE BIG WINNER?" "I GOT WINNER," "COME ON, I'M READY," "GO AHEAD, HIT ME IN THE MOUTH AGAIN," "YOU'LL BREAK MY DENTAL PLATE," "THIS WHAT YOU CALL ENTERTAINMENT?" "WELL, YOU MISSED THE BIG COSSACK NUMBER," "YOU TAKE A DIFFERENT BED OR A BROKEN PLATE," "‐ NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY?" "‐ I SAY UNCLE," "I SAY AUNT," "I SAY WOW, HA HA!" "I ADVISE YOU TWO TO SAVE YOUR ENERGY FOR THE FIELDS," "YOU HURT?" "YOU?" "I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE EXPECTS FROM THEM," "THEY'RE UNTAMED," "ALL RIGHT, KIDS, GET DRESSED," "EVERYBODY TO CHOW," "NOW, WHAT WAS THIS CATFIGHT ALL ABOUT?" "DON'T CALL ME A CAT," "MEOW," "I ASKED A QUESTION," "‐ IT WAS OVER MY BED, ‐ IT WAS NOT‐‐" "OVER YOUR BED BODY," "(aughter" "REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU, LILLIBET," "YOU'RE HALFWAY BACK TO THE POKEY RIGHT NOW," "WHAT ABOUT THE GUMBY?" "COTTON‐PICKING CREEP," "OH, SAVE YOUR ENERGY, HE'S ALL BUSINESS," "YEAH, ALL KINDS, INCLUDING SHADY," "FISHY, FUNNY," "DOPEY, SNEEZY, GRUMPY," "DID I GET THEM ALL?" "YOU MISSED A FEW, BUT THAT'S OKAY," "YOU'RE TOO TOUGH FOR ME," "OH, WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE," "LET'S GO EAT AT THE MESS HALL, HUH?" "WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?" "WAIT A MINUTE!" "I GOTTA GET DRESSED!" "‐ ARE YOU READY, YOU GUYS?" "‐ READY," "OKAY, TODAY WE'D LIKE TO PRESENT OUR PAGEANT‐‐" "GREG BRADY:" "AN AMERICAN LEGACY," "(umming" "GREG BRADY, THE ELDEST OF MIKE BRADY'S THREE BOYS," "BEGAN HIS PUBLIC LIFE AT THE AGE OF 14," "WHEN HIS WIDOWER FATHER MARRIED WIDOW CAROL," "WHO WAS BRINGING UP THREE VERY LOVELY GIRLS," "HE LIVED WITH HIS LARGE FAMILY" "IN A VERY SPACIOUS SPLIT‐LEVEL HOUSE" "IN A LOS ANGELES SUBURB," "HE ATTENDED WARREN G, HARDING HIGH SCHOOL," "WHERE HE WAS CONSIDERED DREAMY," "LIFE WASN'T ALL PEACHES AND CREAM FOR GREG BRADY," "THE PRESSURES OF A HUGE STEP‐FAMILY" "OFTEN CAUSED THINGS TO GO WRONG," "SHARING A BEDROOM WITH TWO BEDROOMS" "WOULD CRAMP GREG'S STYLE," "HE LATER PROCEEDED TO MOVE INTO THE DEN" "AND MADE IT VERY MOD, (umming" "HE WASN'T READY FOR THE DEN LIFE," "SO HE MOVED BACK TO THE SECURITY OF HIS BROTHERS' ROOM," "BUT AGAIN, HE FELT CROWDED, AND HE EVENTUALLY SETTLED" "IN THE ATTIC," "THE ATTIC WAS GOOD FOR GREG," "THERE, HE BLOSSOMED INTO A MAN," "NURTURING HIS SINGING CAREER," "JUST TRYING TO FORGET THE TROUBLES OF GROWING UP," "LIKE THE TIME HIS HAIR GOT TURNED ORANGE," "OR WHEN BOBBY LEFT HIS JUMPING FROG" "IN THE BACK OF GREG'S CAR WHEN HE HAD A DATE," "OH, THE CARNAGE," "ANYWAY, BUT THAT WAS HIS PAST LIFE," "LIFE WAS GOOD NOW, IN 1971," "GREG WAS RECEIVING 6,500 FAN LETTERS A WEEK," "THAT, AND HIS STUDIES AT HARDING HIGH," "KEPT GREG BUSY, (umming" "BUT IN 1974, GREG WAS FACED WITH THE BIGGEST SHOCK OF HIS LIFE," "HIS FAMILY WAS CANCELED," "WITHOUT A PRIMETIME AUDIENCE, GREG'S WORLD BEGAN TO CRUMBLE," "THERE WERE ATTEMPTS TO REVIVE HIS FAMILY, BUT NONE SUCCEEDED," "HE HAD HIT ROCK‐BOTTOM," "GREG COULDN'T EVEN GET A SUITE ON THE LOVE BOAT," "BRADY LUNCH BOX IN HAND," "GREG HEADED FOR NEW YORK," "MUSICAL THEATER WOULD GIVE HIM A LAST CHANCE," "HE APPEARED IN THE BROADWAY PRODUCTION OF PIPPIN," "BUT THEN DISAPPEARED, (umming" "IT SEEMED AMERICA HAD LOST GREG BRADY," "HE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND," "UNTIL CHRISTMAS, 1988," "GREG WAS FOUND AT A HOSPITAL IN CALIFORNIA," "IT WAS HIM!" "IT WAS DR, GREG BRADY!" "HE HAD BECOME A DOCTOR, GREG BRADY," "HE RETURNED TO HIS BOYHOOD HOME WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY," "AND A VERY BRADY CHRISTMAS WAS HAD BY ALL," "THANK YOU, WHAT?" "GREG BRADY, WE ON THE SATELLITE OF LOVE SALUTE YOU," "YOU'RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES," "THANK YOU, GREG, YOU ARE GROOVY," "(umming" "♪" "GOOD PAGEANT," "YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD," "A TRIBUTE TO SOMEONE I LOVE," "HEY, IT'S EVEL KNIEVEL," "( rooster crows )" "WHAT YOU GOT, BUSTER?" "TELEGRAM?" "ALL RIGHT," "‐ MR, TROPP?" "‐ RIGHT," "BOB STEELE," "HI, I'M ROD IRON," "HOW ARE YOU?" "GLAD TO MEET YOU," "SAY, YOU SURE LOOK LIKE HER," "THANKS, I'M TAKING STEROIDS," "‐ HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN HOW?" "‐ NO, I CAN RUN ONE," "GOOD, YOU'RE ON THE PAYROLL AS OF NOW," "REGULAR RATE, AND GLAD TO HAVE YOU," "NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE INTO WEIRD SCENES OR NOT," "BUT CHECK THIS THING OUT," "HOW'S THE PLACE LOOK TO YOU?" "SWELL, GEE, YOU REALLY HAVE IT FIXED UP," "I REALLY LIKE YOUR DIRT," "MAKES MONEY, THOUGH," "THE EASIEST PART WAS GETTING YOUR MOTHER" "TO SELL OUT TO ME," "SHE DOES THAT A LOT," "SHE WROTE ME IN FORMOSA SHE WAS GONNA SELL OUT," "LANDIS!" "THAT'S GLADYS?" "BUT I WAS JUST GOIN' TO THE STORE," "BOB STEELE, THIS IS JACK LANDIS," "BOB'S GONNA TAKE OVER YOUR JOB," "I WANT YOU TO HANDLE THE FIELD CREW ON "Q" RANCH," "I'LL GO GET MY GEAR," "OH, GREAT, FIRST GUY I MEET HATES ME," "OR YOU CAN EAT WITH THE CREW DOWN AT THE MESS HALL," "OKAY," "LANDIS,COME HERE," "SALAD OIL?" "GET RID OF THAT," "I'LL DRINK IT," "THAT'S NO WAY TO PACK A RESERVE CHUTE," ",YOU'LL BE OFF OF HERE IN FIVE MINUTES," "GO JOIN YOUR CREW," "OKAY, KID, ON YOUR WAY," "( starts engine )" "MAN, THAT KID SURE LOOKS GOOD UP ON THAT COMBINE," "PUT SOME SPURS ON HIM, MAKE HIM SING SHOW TUNES," "HE'LL FIT IN REAL FINE," "NATURE'S RICH BOUNTY," "CORN, SOYA BEAN, SORGHUM, (ndistinct )" "MINING, AGRICULTURE AND UNTAMED YOUTH" "FORGING AN UNTAMED LAND," "EATING THEIR WEIGHT IN COTTON," "MEN NAKED FROM THE WAIST‐UP," "WATCHING DAYS OF OUR LIVES DAY AFTER DAY," "THIS IS THEIR STORY‐‐ THE VALIANT FEW" "WHO DARED TO BE DIFFERENT, WHO DARED TO DREAM," "MONSTER CARS PATROLLING THE HIGHWAYS AND BYWAYS," "Radio announcer:" "BUT, IN SPITE OF THIS BUMPER CROP," "PRICES MAY CONTINUE TO RISE," "WHY?" "BECAUSE OF THE ACUTE SHORTAGE OF LABOR" "IN MANY PARTS OF THE SOUTHWEST," "HEY, HE'S GOT A CAR PAYPHONE," "HOWDY, MR, TROPP," "HIYA," "(mitates horn honking )" "I LOVE THAT GAME," "MR, YANCEY, MR, COLLINGWOOD," "WELL, MR, TROPP," "LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE YOUR CROP" "PICKED CLEAN AND BAILED IN SHORT ORDER," "WE JUST HAPPENED TO NOTICE, GOING BY YOUR FIELDS‐‐" "YOU GOT PLENTY OF HANDS WORKING FOR YOU," "TWO PER PERSON," "HARD CROPS ARE READY AND RIPE," "SOON THEY'LL BE ROTTEN," "ROTTEN COTTON," "YOU SAID YOU GET US LABOR TO PICK OUR FIELDS," "THAT'S RIGHT, I TAKE 60% OF YOUR HARVEST, YOU GET 40," "NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, MR, TROPP, YOU SAID‐‐ 50‐50, YOU SAID," "LOOK, FELLAS, YOU TOOK MY TIME," "I'VE BEEN TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THIS FOR TWO WEEKS," "THAT'S THE DEAL, I GET THE LABOR," "YOU PUSH ME AROUND IN A WHEELBARROW" "DRESSED AS ONE OF THE HONEYMOONERS, YOUR CHOICE, PAL," "BUT I'LL BE NEEDING OVER 100 HANDS, 200 FOR ME, WHERE'LL YOU GET 'EM?" "WHERE WILL WE GET THE WHEELBARROW?" "YOU NEED 300 PICKERS?" "ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET 'EM," "THAT'S MY PROBLEM, BUT THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION," "THE THING IS, DO YOU TAKE THE DEAL?" "WHAT CAN I DO?" "I DON'T LIKE IT, BUT I'LL TAKE IT," "UH, SORRY ABOUT MY FRIEND BACK THERE," "HE'S KIND OF A HOTHEAD," "LET'S FIND A WAY TO SQUEEZE HIM OUT, HUH?" "IT'S TEARS FOR FEARS," "WATCH IT THERE, WILL YOU, BOYS?" "INDIANA BONES," "WE DON'T WANT LEAVES AND STEMS," "NO, YOU JUST WANT SOMETHING FOR NOTHING," "YOU'RE ASKING FOR A BELTIN' NOW, BILLY," "I THINK THEY LOOK LIKE THE PET SHOP BOYS," "YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR A WORKOUT, HUH?" "YEAH, DO YOU HAVE NAUTILUS OR FREE WEIGHTS?" "BODY BY BOB DENVER," "IN THE BAILING SHED," "NOW, THERE'S A WOMAN OUTSTANDING IN HER FIELD," "‐ (orced laughter ) ‐ GOOD ONE," "I'LL NEVER WEAR ANYTHING MADE OF COTTON AGAIN," "OH, WE GOTTA GET US SOME JEANS AND SOME FLAT SHOES," "‐ WHAT WITH?" "‐ WE GOT CREDIT," "REMEMBER WHAT THE MAN SAID?" "30 DAYS OF THIS, AND‐‐ 28 STARTING TOMORROW," "CHIHUAHUA, THERE GOES ANOTHER FINGERNAIL," "YEAH, NOW THAT YOU BIT IT OFF," "COME ON, GUYS, WE CAN HELP THEM," "STUPIDEST CROOK IN THE WORLD, HE STEALS COTTON," "♪ OH, YOU AIN'T GONNA MAKE ♪" "♪ A COTTON PICKER OUT OF ME ♪" "♪ BOM‐BOM‐BOM, ♪" "SHUT UP," "DON'T EVEN START," "YOU KNOW, THE ACOUSTICS IN THAT COTTON PATCH" "ARE FANTASTIC," "THEY SURE AREN'T GONNA MAKE A SINGER OUT OF HIM," "♪ OH, YOU AIN'T GONNA MAKE ♪" "♪ A COTTON PICKER OUT OF ME, ♪" "THAT POPCORN'S ENORMOUS OUT THERE," "ELVIS HAS LEFT THE COTTON FIELD," "HEY, GET ME‐‐ I'M SANTY CLAUS," "HA HA HA!" "LOOK AT THAT, MUST GET REAL LONELY IN THE FIELDS," "HEY, LOOK, WAY IN THE BACK‐‐ IT'S ELI WHITNEY," "JUST KIDDING," "♪ ,COTTON PICKER OUT OF ME, ♪" "FORTUNATELY, HE'S GOT GUITAR STRINGS" "EMBEDDED ACROSS HIS CHEST," "‐ GILLIGAN!" "‐ SKIPPER!" "MARY ANN, GINGER," "WHICH ONE OF THOSE TWO HAVE RHYTHM?" "I CAN'T TELL," "HEY, STOP PLAYING YOUR STERNUM," "♪ MAKIN' ME LAUGH, MAKIN' ME CRY ♪" "♪ MAKIN' ME ROLL, ROLL, ROLL TILL I DIE, ♪" "STRANGE ALLIANCES ARE MADE IN A HOT COTTON FIELD," "♪ NO, YOU AIN'T GONNA MAKE ♪" "♪ A COTTON PICKER OUT OF ME, ♪" "YOU KNOW, THERE'S GIRLS THERE," "SEE?" "♪ A COTTON PICKER OUT OF ME ♪" "♪ BOM‐BOM‐BOM ♪" "♪ YOU CAN MAKE ME POOR, MAKE ME RICH ♪" "♪ MAKE ME WANT THE SEVEN‐YEAR ITCH, ♪" "YIKES!" "THERE'S A LOT OF RHYTHM IN THIS SCENE," "MAKES ROOM FOR NO ACTING," "♪ A COTTON PICKER OUT OF ME ♪" "♪ BOM‐BOM‐BOM, ♪" "THIS IS SORT OF LIKE UP WITH PEOPLE IN PRISON," "♪ BOM‐BOM‐BOM ♪" "♪ YOU CAN MAKE ME SING, OR MAKE ME DANCE ♪" "♪ MAKE ME ROCK RIGHT OUT OF MY PANTS, ♪" "‐ YIKES, ‐ EWW," "YOU KNOW, INTERESTING ENOUGH," "THIS SCENE WAS INCLUDED" "IN THE FILM SCARED STRAIGHT!" "WHAT KEY IS THAT IN?" "I LIKE DOING THAT TO THE KIDS," "(rumbling" "HEY, IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S DRIVING THE SWAMP FROM MASH," "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" "OHH, I'M DIZZY," "IT'S SO HOT," "THE POPPIES MADE HER SLEEP," "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HER?" "TOO MUCH SUN, SHE'S TOO HOT," "I'VE GOT TO GET HER IN THE SHADE," "SHE ATE TOO MUCH COTTON," "OHH," "IT'S OKAY," "( moaning )" "HEY, NICE FIELD BOOTS," "LOOK, THE FIELD'S CHOCK‐FULL OF THEM," "BOYS, TOO," "SHE ALMOST PASSED OUT, TOO MUCH SUN," "LET'S GET HER IN THE SHADE, OPEN THE DOOR," "WELL, COME ON!" "UH‐UH," "NOW ROLL THE WINDOWS UP," "HERE, TAKE SOME," "UH, WAIT, THAT'S MY MOTORMAN'S HELPER," "THANKS, I'LL BE ALL RIGHT," "I'LL SIT AND STAY HERE FOR A WHILE," "YOU'D BETTER GET BACK ON THE JOB," "AND I'LL START POUNDING CORN LIQUOR," "‐ AFRAID OF THE BOSS, HUH, LANDIS?" "‐ NOT AT ALL," "UNLESS HE'S DOING HIS SPOOKY FACE," "SHE MIGHT NEED A DOCTOR," "I'LL HANDLE IT, I'M IN CHARGE OF THIS CREW," "I'M A BARBER, THEY USED TO BE DOCTORS," "WELL, SINCE NO ONE HAS ANY MORE LINES HERE," "LET'S JUST, UH, WANDER OFF THIS WAY," "♪" "OH!" "HEY, IT'S THE DONNA REED SHOW," "HONEY, YOU COULD'VE PHONED," "I THOUGHT I'D CATCH YOU WITH ANOTHER MAN," "OH, THEY LEFT HOURS AGO," ",IF YOU DON'T START COMING AROUND MORE OFTEN," "SIT DOWN, DEAR," "OH, NOT THERE, THE CAT'S BEEN SICK," "BOB SHOW UP?" "OH, SURE, I PUT HIM RIGHT TO WORK," "HE HANDLES THAT HARVESTER LIKE A REAL EXPERT," "BOB'S A GOOD KID," "YEAH, HE SEEMS TO BE," "YOU THINK IT WAS SMART SENDING HIM TO ME?" "AFTER ALL, THERE'S LOTS OF OTHER PLACES HE COULD WORK," "WELL, I WANT YOU TWO TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER," "IT'LL MAKE IT EASIER WHEN WE HAVE TO TELL HIM," "THAT HE'S AN ANDROID?" "OH, RUSS," "WHY CAN'T WE BRING THINGS OUT IN THE OPEN?" "All:" "LL RIGHT!" "AND RUIN THE WHOLE SET‐UP?" "OH, CEECE, THAT'S CRAZY!" "THINGS MIGHT START TO GET SHAKY AS IT IS," "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" "LABOR'S SO SCARCE THIS SEASON," "THE OTHER RANCHERS ARE BEGINNING TO BELLYACHE," "WHICH IS ONLY NATURAL WHEN THEY DRIVE BY MY PLACES" "AND SEE I'VE GOT CREWS AT WORK," "MAYBE IT'D BE ONLY FAIR TO CERTIFY SOME PRISONERS TO THEM," "FAIR?" "FAIR?" "!" "I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WHAT'S FAIR," "I'M ONLY INTERESTED IN STUFF THAT MAKES MY HEAD LOOK BIGGER," "HE LOOKS LIKE DICK TRACY," "IN ANOTHER 20 YEARS, HE'LL LOOK LIKE BOSS HOGG," "I CHUCKED IN A BIG WAD OF DOUGH" "TO GET YOU ELECTED, TOO," "OH, NO, THIS IS MY IDEA," "AND I'M TAKING THE PROFITS FROM IT," "AND YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH MY TINKER TOYS, EITHER," "WHO ELSE IN THE VALLEY'S GOT COTTON PICKERS" "AT 75 CENTS A DAY?" "JOLLY GREEN GIANT DOES," "THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF COTTON PLOWED UNDER THIS YEAR" "FOR LACK OF HELP TO PICK IT, BUT NOT ON MY PLACES," "I'LL HAVE A MONOPOLY," "BOARDWALK, PARK PLACE‐‐ THINK OF IT," "AND I'M USING THE SHOE," ",I'LL BE WEALTHY," "IS HE GONNA SING NOW?" "( laughs )" "OF COURSE I MEANT "WE"," "OF COURSE, BUT YOU'LL BE DEAD," "(huckles" "I WISH WE COULD JUST SKIP A YEAR RIGHT NOW," "YEP, SO DO I," "(niffs YOU USING DENOREX, HONEY?" "I JUST PULLED A BIG ONE," "I'M HARVESTING FOR YANCEY AND COLLINGWOOD," "I TAKE 60% AS MY SHARE, THEY'RE GOOD FARMERS," "AND THEY'VE GOT A FAT CROP," "THAT GOES TO FILL YOUR FAT LITTLE CHEEKS," "WHERE IN THE WORLD WILL YOU GET ENOUGH HANDS?" "WELL, I KNOW WHERE TWO OF THEM ARE RIGHT NOW," "I LIKE OBSTACLES," "I KNOW, I PUT ENOUGH IN YOUR WAY," "YEAH, YOU, UH‐‐ YOU SURE PLAYED HARD‐TO‐GET," "YEAH, YOU LET THE PHONE RING TWICE," "I WASN'T, REALLY," "NAH, GOTTA SHOVE, BYE‐BYE," "OH, PLEASE STAY FOR DINNER, RUSS," "OH, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T," "AT LEAST A DRINK, THEN," "YOUR FAVORITE, LOVERBOY," "COTTON GIN AND TONIC," "(aughs" "WHAT IS IT THAT'S SO IMPORTANT THIS TIME?" "THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING, I SOMETIMES THINK" "WE SHOULD BREAK UP," "GEE, YOU MEAN IT GRANDMA?" "WHAT DOES UNCLE DAD HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?" "DON'T EVER SAY THAT, DON'T EVEN THINK IT," "AT LEAST NOT UNTIL THE CROP'S IN," "I MAY NOT SHOW IT OR SAY IT," "BUT I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU," "TOOTH INVENTORY," "I'LL STAY FOR THAT DRINK," "WE'LL FORGET ALL ABOUT BUSINESS FOR A LITTLE WHILE," "AND JUST THINK ABOUT GENETICS," "OHH," "BOY, I HATE THIS," "MAN, MY EYEBROWS LOOK GREAT OVER THERE IN THE MIRROR, THOUGH," "57!" "ENOUGH WITH THE BOUNCING ALREADY!" "‐ HI THERE, JENNY, ‐ OH, HI," "HOW'S BABY DOING TODAY?" "HOLDING HER OWN, I GUESS," "BUT SHE'S ASKING TO CALL HER "SQUEAKY"OW," "GEE, I DON'T KNOW," "COME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS KIND OF HARD WORK," "SHE WAS MUTTERING SOMETHING ABOUT FORD" "AND DRY‐CLICKING A TOY GUN," "BUT YOUR HONORABLE MOM DIDN'T BOTHER" "TO HAVE A DOCTOR CHECK ANY OF US," "HE'S GONNA START SINGING YOU AIN'T GONNA MAKE A COTTON WEIGHER OUT OF ME," "43!" "WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS A BAG OF RAYON," "WE'LL MAKE A COTTON PICKER OUT OF YOU YET," "NOT ON YOUR COTTON‐PICKIN' LIFE," "(aughs" "FUNNY," "WONDER WHAT SHE WANTED," "40," "HEY, WHO'S THE GUY IN THE CAGE?" "THAT'S MY BROTHER‐COUSIN," "HE'S LIKES SODEY‐POP," "WELL, AT LEAST THE BAG IS COTTON," "WE CAN GET SOMETHING FOR THAT," "WE WERE SUPPOSED TO READ?" "I THOUGHT WE WERE SEWING TODAY," "(huckles" "I WISH I COULD GET A SITTING‐DOWN JOB," "WHY DON'T YOU CALL A TEMP SERVICE?" "‐ IGOR, DOWN!" "‐ IGOR!" "MM!" "WITH TWO HEADS, YOU'D STILL BE A MORON," "WOULD HE BE A TWO‐HEADED‐‐" "♪" "( shouting )" "HIYA, FUJI!" "HA HA!" "PRISON WAS NEVER LIKE THIS WHEN I WAS THERE," "HUH?" "ANYONE NOT BEHAVING SPENDS A NIGHT IN THE BOX STEP," "WE'RE GOING TO A PARTY AT THE COUNTY JAIL," "All:" "EAH!" "THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH TODAY'S YOUTH," "THIS IS HOW THEIR IMAGE OF PRISON IS," "HEY, LOOK AT ME, I'M STILL STUPID," "IF ANYBODY DANCES WITH ME, IT'S BY ACCIDENT," "HEY, WE GOTTA EAT ON THAT TABLE, GET OFF," "OH, ASK ME ABOUT MY EXTRA CHROMOSOME," "HEY, I GOT A GIRL, I GOT A GIRL!" "OH, HOW'D SHE FIND OUT I WAS A GEEK?" "OH, WELL, HA HA HA!" "JERRY LEWIS‐‐ GEEKY GUY, DENTURE WEARER," "WHOOPS," "HEY, EVERYBODY, GET ME," "I'M DOING THE ABE LINCOLN," "YEAH!" "GO, GO, GO!" "( chatter continues )" "GREGORY PICK, THIS WEEK ON SOLID GOLD," "YEAH, I PLANNED IT THAT WAY, THAT'S RIGHT," "I KNEW THAT," "NO!" "IT'S VIC TAYBACK!" "( music stops )" "OH, MEL!" "DROP ME HERE," "HEY, MAN, THAT'S MY MONEY IN THERE," "JUST A SHORT INTERMISSION, MEN," "I NEED TWO DISHWASHERS IN THE GALLEY," "‐ I WANT TWO VOLUNTEERS, ‐ ( all laugh )" "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE YOU AND YOU," "WHOA, I AIN'T NO PEARL‐DIVER," "THAT'S NOT A REQUIREMENT FOR WASHING DISHES," "I AM A JUST MAN," "EVEN A PHILOSOPHER OF POTS," "POSSIBLY THE MOST ERUDITE BUM FOR MILES AROUND," "AN ACTOR OF SORTS," "BUT IN THIS DAY OF CRASS MATERIALISM," "WITH DOG‐EAT‐DOG AND MAN‐BITE‐MAN," "COME ON, SPEED IT UP," ",THE LABORER IS WORTHY OF HIS HIRE" "AND THE ARTIST OF HIS DUE," "( indistinct )" "WHAT KIND OF GUM‐BEATIN' IS THAT?" "SUCH A WOWER," "AS MAJORDOMO OF THE KITCHEN," "AND AS FIELD MARSHAL OF THE MESS HALL," "AND WHISTLE‐MASTER OF THE JUNIOR HIGH BATON SQUAD," "BUT I REITERATE," "I AM A JUST MAN," "AND I CLAIM THAT LABOR IS WORTH RECOMPENSE," "YOUR PAY WILL BE PUMPKIN PIE," "A WHOLE ONE?" "WITH WHIPPED CREAM, MAN!" "‐ THEN YOU GOT IT MADE, ‐ THIS WAY, BOYS," "IF ONLY BEATNIKS HAD JUST STUCK WITH PUMPKIN PIE," "YEAH, LET'S GO," "‐ WE SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE, ‐ SUCKERS," "EVERY SEGMENT ENDS WITH FOOD FOR SOME REASON," "YOU KNOW, I'M HUNGRY," "WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU WERE HUNGRY FOR?" "UM," "♪" "THE OTHER DAY, I WAS HELPING JOEL" "WITH A VERY IMPORTANT PROJECT," "WE WERE ON THE SATELLITE OF LOVE," "AND, BOY, IF I WASN'T THERE," "IT REALLY WOULD'VE GONE BADLY," "GYPSY LIES DORMANT," "HER CENTRAL NERVOUS SIM‐PACK TEMPORARILY SHUT DOWN," "I'M HELPING JOEL, WHO'S WORKING TENACIOUSLY" "WITH THE SKILL AND CAVALIER QUALITY OF A DERMATOLOGIST" "PERFORMING HIS 50th ROUTINE FACE SANDING," "‐ (hud ‐ UHH!" "WE WERE ON THE SATELLITE OF LOVE," "Joel:" "ND IT'S ALIGNED BY ADJUSTING" "THE LEFT HORIZONTAL GYRO" "AND SYNCHRONIZING THE OUTPUT SIGNAL" "WITH THE FEED INPUT SIGNAL" "ON CAMBOT'S DIGITAL ARRAY MOTHERBOARD," "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "UM, WHAT ARE WE DOING AGAIN, TOM SERVO?" "WE'RE LINKING GYPSY'S CEREBRAL DATA DISK" "TO CAMBOT'S VISUAL OUTPUT DEVICE" "TO TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT SHE'S THINKING," "CAN I HELP?" "NO, LAST TIME YOU HELPED ON A PROJECT," "WE HAD TO JETTISON A WHOLE PAN OF BURNING ROCK CANDY" "INTO DEEP SPACE," "‐ CAN I WATCH?" "‐ YEAH, BUT JUST BE CAREFUL" "AND DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING," "I THINK I GOT THIS THING ALL FIGURED OUT," "LET'S HOOK IT UP AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS," "INPUT 3‐B," "OKAY, GOT IT," "ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL HOOKED UP, LET'S SEE HOW SHE LOOKS," "LET'S TURN ON GYPSY'S HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS NOW," "‐ I'LL DO IT, ‐ NO, LET ME DO IT," "HERE, I'LL GET IT," "CAMBOT, JUST ROLL BACK THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF GYPSY'S BRAIN" "AND PUT IT ON THE MAIN VIEWER," "‐ THIS WON'T TAKE LONG, ‐ SHH!" "WELL, THIS'LL BE THE FIRST TIME" "ANYONE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO SEE" "WHAT A COMPUTER IS ACTUALLY THINKING," "‐ WELL, THERE IT IS, ‐ WHAT IS IT?" "OH, IT'S AN 8x10 OF RICHARD BASEHART" "‐ AND SOME RAM CHIPS, ‐ OH, BROTHER," "ANOTHER GREAT MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE EXPLAINED," "‐ WELL, IT COULD BE WORSE, ‐ HOW?" "IT COULD'VE BEEN BOB EUBANKS SHE WAS DREAMING ABOUT," "‐ TRUE, ‐ HEY, EVERYBODY!" "HI, GIRL, HOW YOU DOIN'?" "I HAD A DREAM," "I KNOW YOU HAD A DREAM, AND WE WERE ALL IN IT, RIGHT?" "NO, NONE OF YOU WERE THERE," "OH, BOY," "OH, CAMBOT, FLASH‐FORWARD OUT OF THIS TURKEY," "WE ACTUALLY SAW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING, GYPSY," "HEY, CROW, BUDDY, COME ON, WHAT'S WRONG?" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "OH, I'M SORRY, I WAS DAYDREAMING, WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "‐ (larm buzzing ) ‐ I WAS JUST‐‐ WE GOT MOVIES!" "(creaming" "♪" "NO BIG SURPRISE IN GYPSY, I GUESS," "YEAH," "♪ DANCIN' AT A PARTY, ♪" "NICE SET," "YEAH, NICE RADIO, TOO," "OH, YOU," "HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW SHE COULD SING," "I STILL DON'T KNOW SHE CAN SING," "‐ (singing) ‐ (snapping)" "NICE PERCUSSION SECTION," "LISTEN TO THAT HI‐HAT," "♪ NOW AT 18, OOH, OOH, OOH ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY, HE'S MY JOE ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY, LOVE HIM SO ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER LET ME GO ♪" "♪ HE'S GOT CHARM, HE'S GOT CLASS ♪" "♪ AND ALL THE WOMEN, OH, YES, YES, YES ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY, HE'S MY JOE ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY, LOVE HIM SO ♪" "IT'S A PUPPET SHOW," "THANK YOU," "♪ I LOVE TO LOVE, BUT JUST WITH JOE ♪" "♪ WHEN I'M WITH HIM, WE GO, GO, GO ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY, HE'S MY JOE, ♪" "OH, HOW MANY DISHES DID THEY HAVE TO DO?" "A FORK EACH?" "THEY'RE FAST," "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY ♪" "‐ ♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY ♪ ‐ ♪ JOE, JOE, JOE ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY ♪" "♪ NEVER, NEVER, NEVER LET ME GO ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA‐‐ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY ♪" "♪ LOVE HIM SO ♪" "♪ OOH‐BA‐LA, BABY ♪" "♪ NEVER, NEVER, NEVER LET ME GO ♪" "( cheering ) 16 WEEKS ON STAR SEARCH," "THEY CALL HER COFFEE, 'CAUSE SHE GRINDS SO FINE," "HEY, BLONDIE, COME HERE," "YOU HAVE MORE THAN A MODICUM OF TALENT, MY DEAR," "OH, YOU MEAN THESE?" "THANKS VERY LARGE," "IT'S A SHAME YOU STARTED HEISTING BANKS" "AT SUCH A TENDER AGE" "THAT GOT YOU IN THIS PREDICAMENT," "(queaking" ",TO HELP THE TALENTED YOUNG," "YOU KNOW, THIS GIFT OF YOURS" "SHOULD BE BROUGHT TO THE ATTENTION OF SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP YOU," "HEF?" "TO WIT, MR, TROPP," "YOU KNOW, MY DEAR, IN THIS AREA," "THERE ARE MANY HOMES EQUIPPED WITH A LARGE ELECTRONIC BOX," "IT'S CALLED A REFRIGERATOR," "BUT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY STORY," ",THAT SO FASCINATE THE CITIZEN" "THAT THEY SIT IN FRONT OF IT FOR HOURS," "BOY, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA TAKE THAT GUY OUT OF THE RAIN, HUH?" "VERY PERSPICACIOUS," "UM, WHAT DOES THIS MR, TROPP HAVE TO DO WITH IT?" "MR, TROPP, MY DEAR, HAS A NOT INCONSIDERABLE FINANCIAL INTEREST" "IN KAHULA CITY'S," "All:" "AHULA CITY?" "YOU KNOW, A PROMISE IS A VACUOUS THING" "UNLESS BROUGHT TO A POINT," "I'LL CONSULT MR, TROPP ON THE INTERCOM," "IF HE KNOWS ALL THIS, WHY IS HE STILL A COOK?" "A LITTLE ELECTRONIC DEVICE CALLED A PHONE," "STATION CHOW CALLING HEADQUARTERS," "EARTH TO COOK," "MR, TROPP, YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF IT," "THAT PHONE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR A HUMAN HEAD," "ESPECIALLY NOT HIS HEAD," "WE HAVEN'T DECIDED IF THAT'S HUMAN OR NOT," "GET TO THE VERB, PINKY," "MR, TROPP, I'M SURPRISED AT YOU," "VERY SURPRISED THAT YOU DIDN'T JUMP AT THIS OPPORTUNITY," "I SUGGEST, AFTER SHE PAYS HER DEBT TO SOCIETY," "THAT YOU GIVE HER A TRIAL ON YOUR T, V, STATION," "I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PROGRAMMING, PINKY," "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT," "THAT HASN'T STOPPED YOU FROM FARMING," "LOOK, I'M NO JUDGE OF SINGING," "SIR, YOU HAVE BUT TO HEAR HER MELLIFLUOUS TONES" "AND SEE HER BEAUTY," "PLURAL," "AND YOU WOULD NO MORE JUDGE HER" "THAN YOU WOULD A FLOWER," "PRETTY ARTICULATE FOR A SLOP COOK," "THE LITTLE BLONDE WITH THE SISTER?" "YEAH," "OH, YEAH," "SURE, I'LL LISTEN TO HER, SEND HER UP HERE TO THE HOUSE," "THANK YOU, MR, TROPP, THANK YOU," "NOW, YOU GO RIGHT UP TO HIS HOUSE," "OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU," "IF YOU ARE HAPPY, THAT IS MY REWARD," "AND GOOD LUCK," "WHAT A GUT," "WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO?" "DO?" "DON'T BE SQUARE," "I'M GOING UP THERE AND SINGING HIS EARS OUT RIGHT NOW," "WAIT A MINUTE, KID, LET'S TALK THIS OVER," "YEAH, THINK ABOUT IT, HE'LL PROBABLY GIVE YOU" "THAT CORNY PASS ABOUT BECOMING HIS "HOUSEKEEPER"," "THE ONE YOU CHOMPED ON LIKE A BASS?" "YEAH, RIGHT OUT OF THE COTTON," "INTO A BED OF THORNS," "ARE YOU CRAZY?" "NO, I'VE GOT AMBITION, THAT'S ALL," "IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT?" "YOU'RE NOT GOING UP THERE TO HIS HOUSE," "I CERTAINLY AM," "BUT YOU HEARD WHAT LILLIBET SAID," "SOUR GRAPES," "SHE GOT TOSSED OUT OF THE NEST," "OH, AND WHAT ARE YOU?" "THE NEXT CANDIDATE?" "DON'T BE DIRTY‐MINDED," "OH, IT'S HARD NOT TO, MAMIE, REAL HARD," "AND I DON'T THINK MR, TROPP'S THAT KIND," "OH, WOW," "I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF," "OH, YES, YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF," "NEVER TAKE HELP FROM A GUY NAMED PINKY," "THAT'S YOUR FIRST MISTAKE," "STOP CALLING ME "KID"!" "I'M OLDER THAN YOU, AND BESIDES‐‐" "YEAH, IN ONE WAY, YOU WERE BORN BEFORE I WAS," "AND?" "DON'T BE A SUCKER," "THE ONLY WAY TO GET A BOOKING IS‐‐" "IS THROUGH AN AGENT OR A PRODUCER OR SOMEBODY LIKE THAT," "YEAH, DREAM ON," "LOOK, WE SERVE OUT OUR 30 DAYS," "AND THEN WE GO ON TO HOLLYWOOD LIKE WE PLANNED," "YOU LISTEN!" "WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO KEEP ME UNDER AN UMBRELLA?" "I'M MY OWN UMBRELLA," "I'M GONNA BE WAY OUT IN FRONT OF THOSE PEOPLE," "AND IF MR, TROPP CAN HELP ME GET THINGS STARTED," "SO MUCH THE BETTER," "AH, YOU CAN TRUST ME, JANEY," "I'M NOT GONNA MAKE ANY NASTY BARGAINS, NO MATTER WHAT," "UNLESS YOUR NAME COMES UP," "OH, I TRUST YOU," "LISTEN, YOU KNOW THAT," "I TRUST YOUR INTENTIONS," "BUT WHEN A SHARPIE GETS TO WORKING ON YOU," "YOU NEVER SEE THROUGH HIM," ",ALL MEN ARE DEAR LITTLE CUB SCOUTS," "WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK I THINK," "WELL, YOU'RE NOT INTERFERING THIS TIME," "HMM, I WONDER WHAT SHE WANTED," "( groaning )" "WHAT WAS THAT RAT FOOD WE HAD FOR CHOW ANYWAY?" "RAT FOOD," "LIFE'S A BOWL OF FILTH, MAN," "LOOK INTO THE FACE OF DEATH, IT'S THE ONLY WAY, BABY!" "SORRY," "IT'S NAPOLEON," "I'LL JUST, UH, PUT THIS FIFTH UNDER THE SEAT HERE," "HEH HEH," "I LOVE THAT," "DIDN'T GET ENOUGH IN THE CHOW LINE, EH, BOB?" "I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THESE, THESE ARE MY MOM'S PEACHES," "UH, YOU GOT A LITTLE, SOMETHING UP THERE," "YEAH, GOT IT," "WHAT'S THE MATTER, JANEY?" "I'M IN PRISON," "DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A KNIFE?" "WHAT FOR?" "I MIGHT HAVE TO STICK IT IN SOMEBODY," "OH, NOW, THAT'D BE A LITTLE ANTISOCIAL, WOULDN'T IT?" "NOT WHERE I COME FROM," "PENNY WENT UP TO THE BOSS' HOUSE, AND SHE'S STILL THERE," "AND IT DOESN'T TAKE AN HOUR AND A HALF TO SING A SONG," "MAYBE IT'S AIDA," "WHY DON'T YOU GO UP AND GET HER?" "NO, I CAN'T, PENNY AND I‐‐" "OH, FORGET IT," "I FORGOT, YOU'RE ON THE OTHER SIDE," "WHAT OTHER SIDE?" "THE SIDE OF THE JUDGE THAT SENT US UP HERE," "SAURON'S DARK ARMY?" ", HAPPENS TO BE YOUR MOM," "OKAY, LIKE YOU SAID, LET'S FORGET IT," "WELL,DON'T GET ME WRONG," "PENNY'S OKAY, SHE'S JUST‐‐" "WELL, SHE'S JUST A SUCKER FOR A LINE," "OH, REALLY?" "LOOK, COULDN'T YOU MAYBE GO UP THERE" "AND PRETEND TO WANT TO SEE MR, TROPP?" "WELL,NOT VERY WELL, NOT WITHOUT SOME REASON," "YOU SEE, I'M A METHOD ACTOR," "BUT I THINK I HAVE ONE," "‐ OH, GOOD, ‐ ON ONE CONDITION," "YOU PUSH ME AROUND IN A WHEELBARROW DRESSED AS A SPARTAN," "THAT YOU DON'T GO JUMPING TO ANY CONCLUSIONS" "ABOUT WHAT SIDE I'M ON," "IT'S A DEAL," "OH, THANKS," "AND YOU CAN'T BE THAT NAIVE, PENNY," "I JUST DON'T BELIEVE YOU," "AFTER ALL, I DIDN'T SEND FOR YOU," "I DIDN'T OFFER TO HEAR YOU SING," "YOU CAME UP HERE OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL," "YOU PROMOTED YOURSELF WITH PINKY TO HAVE HIM CALL‐‐" "‐ NO!" "HE OFFERED, ‐ I HAVEN'T FINISHED," "BUT YOU CAME, AND I HEARD YOU," "AND I PROMISE TO PHONE MY STATION MANAGER IN THE MORNING," "I'M VERY GRATEFUL, MR, TROPP," "BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, PENNY," "THERE'S STILL THAT WHEELBARROW THING," ", RIGHT NOW," "LIFE IS A MATTER OF HORSE TRADING," "THERE'S WHINNIES AND LOSERS," ", FAVORS FOR FAVORS," "‐ (dogs growling) ‐ (knock on door)" "PUFF!" "NOWBALL!" "DOWN!" "OH, THOSE ARE MY HORMONES," "THAT'LL BE THE PIZZA I ORDERED," "UH, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU SO LATE, MR,‐‐" "YES, IT'S LATE," "THAT'S WHAT I SAID," "EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE A PAID HAND" "LIVING WITH THE FOREMAN," "THESE DOGS WOULDN'T KNOW THAT," "WELL, WHAT IF WE TOLD THEM?" "LANDIS TELL YOU ABOUT THAT GIRL ON HIS CREW?" "WHAT GIRL?" "I DON'T KNOW HER NAME, THEY JUST CALL HER "BABY"," "WHAT ABOUT HER?" "SHE ALMOST PASSED OUT IN THE FIELD," "SHE LOOKS PRETTY SICK, SHE MIGHT HAVE A BAD HEART," "YEAH, YEAH, I'LL HAVE HER HEART REPLACED IN THE MORNING," "I'LL JUST BE OUT HERE IF YOU NEED ME!" "( piano music playing )" "WHERE IS THAT PIANO?" "NOW, I, UH," "KNOW YOU TWO LOVE THE RICH TASTE OF FIELD HANDS," "SO HERE'S A LITTLE SNACKY‐POO FOR YOU," "ALL RIGHT, GO," "( barking )" "HEY, SAVE ME A WING!" "( Penny screaming )" "GOOD THING I LEFT MY DOG‐BEATER OVER HERE," "( screaming continues )" "TAKE THEM AWAY!" "TAKE THEM AWAY!" "MAMIE, CALM DOWN, DOGS CAN'T CLIMB LADDERS," "HERE!" "BOY, TO THINK SHE JUMPED UP THERE," ",THE DOGS DON'T LIKE IT," "KIND OF DANGEROUS, ISN'T IT, MR, KROPP‐‐" "LETTING THOSE DOGS RUN AROUND LOOSE?" "COME ON," "YOU WERE TRYING TO RUN AWAY, WERE YOU?" "THAT'S A LIE, THEY CHASED ME UP THERE," "GET TO YOUR QUARTERS," "I SUPPOSE THEY ATE YOUR HOMEWORK, TOO," "UH, SHOULD I GET YOUR CHIN WAX, SIR?" "THAT GUY WAS SNEAKING AROUND DOWN BEHIND THE KITCHEN," "CHECKING AT TIN CANS TO SEE WHAT KIND OF FOOD YOU'RE FEEDING THEM," "WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF HIS?" "MAYBE HE'S A NUTRITIONIST," "YEAH," "♪" "YOUR SISTER SAYS YOU'RE REALLY A SUCKER FOR A LINE," "‐ I GOT AWAY FROM HIM, ‐ YOU MEAN YOU HAD TO?" "HE DOESN'T WASTE MUCH TIME, DOES HE?" "SO HE SET THE DOGS ON ME," "WHAT?" "I'LL KILL HIM, SO HELP ME‐‐" "NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, THAT WON'T DO ANY GOOD," "NOBODY'LL BE ABLE TO HELP YOU THEN," "ESPECIALLY NOT HIM, HE'LL BE DEAD," "(aughs SEE?" "HE'LL KILL HIM," "♪" "( chattering )" "OH, WOW," "YOU KNOW, IT'S A LOT EASIER IF YOU TOOK THE GUITAR OFF, AT LEAST ONCE," "YOU CAN'T DANCE, YOU'RE THE BAND, GET BACK HERE," "HOW MUCH?" "NINE BUCKS," "WHAT ARE YOU, HANS BRINKER ALL OF A SUDDEN?" "YOU WANT 'EM OR NOT?" "YOU GO BUY THEM THERE, THEN," "FAT CHANCE," "I GOTTA HAVE 'EM, CHARGE IT, BUSTER," "DON'T FORGET‐‐" "YOU DON'T LEAVE THE RANCH UNTIL YOU'RE PAID UP," "EVEN IF YOU'RE TIME'S UP," "AND I THOUGHT LINCOLN GOT RID OF SLAVERY," "YEAH, HE'S RIGHT OVER THERE WORKING ON IT," "GETTING RID OF SLAVERY, YEAH, REALLY GROOVY, MAN," "I DON'T LIKE YOU," "‐ (music stops) ‐ ALL RIGHT, CLOSING TIME," "‐ EVERYBODY OUT, ‐ (all booing)" "NO DANCING," "THAT'S NOT THE POTTY," "THEM BOYS IS AWFUL QUIET," "GREG, DON'T DO IT!" "OW!" "THAT'LL TEACH YOU, DON'T MESS WITH THE LIGHT," "HEY, GREG'S GOT CHILD‐BEARING HIPS," "EEK!" "HE'S USED TO LIVING WITH BOYS," "CHICKEN," "HONEY, WHEN I DO A STRIP," "I GET PAID FOR IT," "( laughter )" "OH, RUSS, YOU'RE WONDERFUL," "THANKS, GRANDMA," "BETWEEN THIS MOON AND YOU, I," "DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE IS WHICH," "WEAR A NECKTIE NEXT TIME SO I'LL KNOW WHO'S YOU," "ABOUT BOB‐‐" "HE'S BEEN WORKING A WEEK NOW," "AND THERE'S A COUPLE OF THINGS THAT I'VE NOTICED," "HE WORKS HARD, HE'S GOOD ON THAT HARVESTER, TOO," "IT'S A TRICKY MACHINE," "AND I LIKE BOB," "A LOT," "I KNEW YOU WOULD, EVERYBODY DOES," "BUT LOOK, WE BOTH CAN'T HAVE A HOLE IN OUR HEADS," "THAT WOULD MAKE US BOWLING BALLS," "DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS NOW?" "THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS‐‐" "ONE OF THE THINGS THAT‐‐" "LOOK, THAT HAS GOT TO BE SETTLED," "WHAT YOU MEAN IS, YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT BOB," "WELL, I'M USING YOU TO GET TO HIM," "NO, BABY, OF COURSE NOT," "I WANTED TO HAVE SOME TIME WITH YOU ALONE," "LOOK, BELIEVE ME, KITTEN, I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU," "BUT BOB'S NO KID, HE'S INQUISITIVE," "HE'S BEEN AROUND, HE COULD'VE FIGURED OUT OUR SET‐UP," "SET‐UP?" "DON'T USE THAT TERM, RUSS," "THAT'S A GANGSTER'S TERM," "WHAT WE'RE DOING IS ABSOLUTELY LEGAL," "EXCEPT FOR THE PARTS THAT AREN'T," "BUT YOUR BOY, MY DEAR, IS A DO‐GOODER," "DON'T BE A DON'T‐BE," ", HE COMPREHENDS THIS SET‐UP‐‐" "THE SITUATION, I MEAN‐‐" "HE'S LIABLE TO HATE YOU," "NOW, I'M THINKING OF YOU, KITTEN," "HE'S YOUR BOY," "YOU ASKED ME TO PUT HIM TO WORK," "AND I WOULDN'T FIRE HIM FOR THE WORLD," "BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO END UP HATING YOU," "KILL HIM, HE'S EVIL AND MUST BE DESTROYED," "I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT, RUSS," "I THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER IF BOB WERE," "PUT TO SLEEP?" "IF HE HAD OTHER INTERESTS," "OH, NOTHING MATTERS BUT YOU," "AND US, TOGETHER," "ALL THREE OF US," "OH, KISS ME," "I CAN'T GO ON THIS WAY," "MY LUNCH IS COMING‐‐OOH!" "WOW, SOME BOYS JUST HAVE BIKES," "REAPER MAN," "WATCH MODERN TECHNOLOGY RIP THROUGH THIS FIELD OF TEENAGE GALS," "IT'S REAPER MADNESS," "HEY, YOU JUST HARVESTED HIS SISTER," "YOU LOOK ALL BEAT," "NOT BEETS, COTTON," "YOU JUST FALL OFF A TURNIP TRUCK OR SOMETHING?" "I DIDN'T MEAN FOR YOU TO DRINK IT, YOU SILLY WOMAN," "IT'S KEROSENE," "FUNNY, HUH?" "OH, GOOD, I THOUGHT MAYBE THAT CROCODILE TROPP GOT HER," "OH, YOU DON'T SEEM WORRIED ABOUT HIM GETTING ME," "I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU," "YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF," "YOU LITTLE WILDCAT," "YOU LITTLE BUFFALO," "THANKS, BOB, YOU'RE REAL GONE," "WELL, THANKS, I'M NO EXPERT," "BUT I'M PRETTY SURE I'M STILL HERE," "YEAH, YOU'RE‐‐ YOU'RE REAL GONE YOURSELF," "THEY'RE BOTH GONE, THEY LEFT," "MEDIC!" "COMBINE GOT ANOTHER ONE," "BETTER GET THIS GIRL TO A DOCTOR," "ARE YOU BOSSING THIS CREW?" "NO, YOU ARE, WINO," "UH, THE NAME IS DAVE, DAVE WINO," "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "I'M TAKING HER TO A DOCTOR IN YOUR TRUCK," "NOT IN ANY COMPANY CAR, YOU AIN'T," "GET BACK TO YOUR MUSCATEL, CREEP," "HEY, IT'S MOGEN DAVID, AND DON'T CALL ME CREEP," "HEY, YOU WANT A SPRITZER?" "STAMP ALL FOREMEN DEAD OUT," "WELL, NOW EVERYBODY'S GONE," "OH, IT'S THE PURINA TEST KITCHENS," "WELL, I PULLED HER TEETH, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?" "I'M SORRY, I HAVE SOME VERY BAD NEWS FOR YOU," "I'M NOT A REAL DOCTOR," "SHE WORKS ON THE SAME RANCH I DO," "OH," "WELL, THE GIRL WAS FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT," "SHE DIED OF A SEVERE HEMORRHAGE AFTER A MISCARRIAGE," "MUST'VE STARTED WHILE YOU WERE BRINGING HER HERE," "GEE, I'M SORRY WE EVEN MADE FUN OF THIS MOVIE," "SHE WAS LYING IN THE TRUCK, MOANING," "FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT," "AH, THE POOR KID," "WELL, WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD," "WE WERE JUST TOO LATE," "AND WE'RE NOT REAL DOCTORS," "YOU MIND GIVING MISS DUFF THE INFORMATION" "FOR THE DEATH CERTIFICATE," "YOU KNOW,I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME," ""BABY" IS ALL WE EVER CALLED HER," "SHE WORKED AS A COTTON PICKER FOR MR, TROPP" "OUT IN WELLING SPRINGS," "HEY, YOU GOT NOTHING TO EXPLAIN TO ME, PAL," ", WE'LL GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM," "IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO?" "NO," "GET OFF MY COUNTER," ",THEN FIND OUT WHAT THE FAMILY WANTS TO DO," "WELL, THANK YOU, UH," "FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE," "OR DIDN'T DO," "WONDER WHAT HE WANTED," "♪" "MEANWHILE, AT STATELY WAYNE MANOR," "AND SHE WAS FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT," "SHE WAS JUST A KID HERSELF," ""BABY", WE CALLED HER," "NOBODY EVEN KNEW HER NAME, THAT'S THE WORST PART ABOUT IT," "SHE‐‐SHE DIES IN A STRANGE PLACE" "WITHOUT FRIENDS OR ANYBODY," "AND NOBODY EVEN KNOWS HER NAME," "SHE SHOULD'VE DIED AT CHEERS," "THEN EVERYONE WOULD'VE KNOWN HER NAME," "IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN," "WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU?" "WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY?" "MR, TROPP IS SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT EVERYONE HAS A MEDICAL EXAM" "BEFORE THEY'RE SENT INTO THE FIELD," "HE DOES IT HIMSELF," "WELL, IT WAS PART OF THE AGREEMENT," "UH, I MEAN, OUR, ILLEGAL CONTRACT," "I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LAW," "NOT AFTER I TELL YOU A FEW OF THE THINGS THAT ARE GOING ON" "OUT AT MR, TROPP'S PRIVATE LITTLE KINGDOM," "WHEELBARROWS EVERYWHERE," "LOOK, YOU'RE A JUDGE," "I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT," "SUPPOSE I CAME BEFORE YOU," "DO YOU THINK YOU'D BE DOING ME A FAVOR" "BY SENDING ME OUT TO THIS RANCH?" "NO, I GO BECAUSE I'VE GOT TO," "I LIVE IN A SHACK, I SLEEP ON A CANVAS COT," "THERE ARE FOUR WASHBASINS AND TWO SHOWERS FOR TWENTY GUYS," "WHICH IS GREAT," "AND THAT HEALTHY FOOD‐‐ THAT I'M PAYING FOR‐‐" "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT FOOD?" "TROPP'S FEEDING CANNED DOG FOOD," "AND HE CALLS IT BEEF STEW," "OH, NO!" "NOT CANNED, IT SHOULD BE DRY," "THAT'S PART OF THE AGREEMENT," "HE'S DOING IT, MOTHER, I SAW THE EMPTY CANS," "I GUESS YOU DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS GOING ON, DID YOU?" "NO, AND MAYBE MR, TROPP DOESN'T," "OH, HE KNOWS EVERY MOVE THAT'S MADE," "WELL, BOB, IT'S‐‐ IT'S, UH‐‐" "IT'S JUST THAT, RUSS IS VERY AMBITIOUS," "WHEN DID YOU START CALLING HIM RUSS?" "GOT A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ASSIGNED TO HIM ON YOUR ORDERS," "HE GETS THEM FOR SIX BITS A DAY" "AND FEEDS THEM SLOP," "IT'S NOT SLOP, IT'S SCIENCE DIET," "AND IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE, YOUNG MAN," "SHE'S NO MORE A VAGRANT THAN YOU ARE," "AND SHE COULD TELL YOU A COUPLE OF THINGS THAT'D OPEN YOUR EYES" "ABOUT HOW IT IS TO BE UNDER THE THUMB OF A GUY LIKE THIS TROPP," "WHOOOO!" "I CAN'T HELP MYSELF," "NO, BUT YOU CAN STOP SENTENCING PEOPLE TO HIS RANCH," "MOTHER, DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT," "HAVE THE SHERIFF MAKE AN INVESTIGATION," "TELL THE EDITOR OF THE NEWSPAPER," "SING IT FROM THE MOUNTAINTOPS!" "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF?" "I'M IN LOVE WITH RUSS TROPP," "MOM, "LOVE"S A PRETTY BIG WORD," "HE'S MY HUSBAND," ""HUSBAND" IS A PRETTY BIG WORD, TOO," "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "WE WERE MARRIED FOUR MONTHS AGO," "WAIT, SO YOU'RE MY GRANDMA?" "MY SISTER?" "Y MOM?" "DID YOU MARRY BILL WYMAN?" "YOU NEVER TOLD ANYBODY, I GUESS," "YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE TOGETHER," "MOTHER, THAT‐‐ THAT ISN'T LIKE YOU," "YOU'VE‐‐YOU'VE NEVER BEEN SNEAKY," "( sobbing )" "IT MUST'VE BEEN HIS IDEA," "YOU'RE LEARNING, KEEP IT UP, AUNT MOM," "OH, MOTHER, I'M‐‐" "I'M SO SORRY FOR YOU," "DON'T BE," "PLEASE DON'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT," "BUT NOW I'M STARTING TO LIKE YOU," ",THINGS WILL WORK OUT ALL RIGHT," "SURE, JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT," "AND RUSS HAS LOTS OF GOOD QUALITIES," "TRUTH IS, MOM, YOU'VE BEEN TAKEN" "FOR ONE LONG, HARD RIDE," "I'M SURE HE HAS, TO YOU," "I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND ANY," "I WAS HOPING YOU AND RUSS WOULD HIT IT OFF," "WELL, HE DID PUNCH ME ONCE," "(huckles" "BOB," "YOU SAID SOMETHING WHEN YOU FIRST CAME HOME" "ABOUT WANTING TO GO UP TO MONTANA," "OH, YOU MEAN THAT THING ABOUT MONTANA?" "MAYBE THAT WOULD BE BETTER FOR NOW," "WE'LL, UH‐‐" "THEY LOOK LIKE AN EVOLUTION CHART," "WELL, THANK YOU, MOM," "I'LL PAY MY OWN WAY," "THAT WOULD BE FAIR," "MOM, COULD YOU MAKE ME A SANDWICH?" "GOOD LUCK, MOTHER," "OH, MAN, I'M NOT GETTING PAID ENOUGH," "BOB!" "LOVE ME!" "JIM," "LOVE ME," "I WANT YOU TO," "YEAH?" "ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH IN HERE, MA'AM?" "I'M GONNA SEND YOU ON AN ERRAND," "UP TO MOUNT PILOT?" "OKAY, I'LL GO GET MY ONE BULLET," "HEY, GREG BRADY'S LEADING THE GROUP," "YEAH," "WHAT'S THE IDEA TAKING THAT GIRL OFF THIS PLACE WITHOUT PERMISSION?" "I DON'T KNOW, SOMETHING TO DO," "‐ SHE'S DEAD, ‐ OH!" "WELL, WHEN CAN SHE BE BACK ON THE JOB?" "WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO, BREAK UP?" "SHE WAS GONNA HAVE A BABY," "I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT," "NO, BUT YOU KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG, I WARNED YOU," "THE FIELDS KILLED HER, MAC," "HEY, CALL ME "BIG MAC"," "YOU'RE NOT KIDDING, IT'S THE LAST WORD," "I'M CHECKIN' OFF THE PLACE," "NO, THAT WAS THE LAST WORD," "HIYA, GREG," "HI, JENNY," "HI, OTHER GIRL," "THEY DIDN'T CAULK THAT FLOAT VERY WELL," "I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID," "THAT'S AWFUL ABOUT BABY," "SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE," "WHY COULDN'T SHE HAVE SAID SOMETHING TO SOMEBODY?" "I DON'T KNOW, JENNY," "MAYBE SHE WAS," "ROCK STUPID," "HEY, JOEL, I WAS KIND OF WONDERING‐‐" "WHAT DOES REAL COTTON FEEL LIKE?" "OH, I CAN SHOW YOU WHAT THAT IS," "HEY, GYPSY, COME ON INTO THE THEATER," "GYPSY?" "OH!" "HEY, GYPSY?" "LOOK UP AT THE SCREEN," "REMEMBER WHEN THEY SHOWED THE COTTON?" "USE YOUR TELEDYNE VECTOR TO FIGURE IT OUT," "WILL YOU REPRODUCE SOME COTTON FOR US?" "(roaning)" "‐ OKAY, UHH, ‐ OH, GROSS," "IT'S NOT DONE YET, JOEL," "GYPSY, WILL YOU RUN UP TO THE‐‐" "TO THE MAIN SHIP AND MAKE SOME NEW‐‐" "MAKE A NEW BATCH FOR US?" "JUST PUT IT ON THE MAIN TABLE THERE," "(roans" "IT'S LIKE FLUFFY PUDDING," "YEEH!" "PROBABLY BACK HOME TO DU QUOIN," "I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU AGAIN," "LOTS OF TIMES," "AND THEN STOP ABRUPTLY," "BREAKING YOUR HEART LIKE A TOY," "THIS STUFF SMELLS, JOEL," "MMM, MMM," "MMM, MMM," "TASTES LIKE JUICY FRUIT," "AND PIZZA," "I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT THAT," "YOU'LL NEVER GET LOST," "ONLY IF YOU HAVE A COMPASS AND A DREAM," "YOU KNOW HOW BEFORE YOU SAID ABOUT," "YOU BEING STUCK HER" "AND THAT I'M TRYING TO RUN AWAY?" "WELL, I'M NOT LEAVING, I'M GONNA STAY," "AND THEN STAY SOME MORE," "TROPP WILL HAVE TO THROW ME OFF THE PLACE," "I'M GONNA STAY, AND I'M GONNA LOOK AFTER YOU," "AND I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF THAT GUY TROPP, TOO," "AND THEN I'M GONNA REPLANT THE WHOLE FOREST, BEN," "SEE, HE'S GREEDY," "HE'S GONNA SPILL HIMSELF," "AND WHEN DOES, I'LL NAIL HIM," "SO HELP ME, I'LL NAIL HIM TO THE WALL," "OH, USE DRYWALL SCREWS, THEY'RE MUCH BETTER," "JANEY!" "OH, WE'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE," "HEY, LOOK AT THAT, THAT'S SOME TRAILER," "I'LL BET THAT COTTON'S FINISHED, TOO, UP THERE," "OH, GYPSY, HONEY, LOOK AT THIS," "YOU ARE SICK, AREN'T YOU?" "OH, MY GOOD‐‐OH," "HEY, JOEL, THIS IS GREAT," "THIS IS GREAT, COWABUNGA!" "I FEEL LIKE ROSEMARY CLOONEY IN WHITE CHRISTMAS," "HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THAT GYPSY UNIT, HUH?" "YEAH, IT'S SOMETHING WITH HER OFF SWITCH, I THINK," "I CAN'T GET IT TO STOP BEING ON," "♪ WELL, THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL ♪" "HEY!" "HIS IS GREAT!" "♪ THE WEATHER OUTSIDE, ♪" "I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE HER FABRICATE SOMETHING LESS MESSY," "LIKE, UH, SALT WATER TAFFY," "OH, I DON'T THINK THAT‐‐" "‐ YEAH!" "‐ THAT'S JUST GREAT, TOM," "THAT'S JUST GREAT, I'VE GOT A SICK ROBOT ON MY HANDS," "AND ALL YOU DO IS GIVE ME MORE STUPID COMMANDS" "TO DEAL WITH," "WE'VE GOT A MESS, MAYBE SHE SHOULD BRING UP SOME PAPER TOWELS!" "(roans" "THIS IS GREAT!" "EAH!" "TOM, THAT'S IT, GET OUT," "‐ I'M JUST HAVING SOME FUN, ‐ OUT!" "CAN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A ROBOT ANYMORE?" "WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE?" "‐ STUPID HUMAN, ‐ GET OUT!" "GYPSY, MAKE ANOTHER TOM SERVO!" "‐ LEAVE ME ALONE!" "‐ (roans" "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" "HEY, I FEEL LIKE ROSEMARY CLOONEY," "JOEL, CROW, HOW ARE YOU?" "GET OUT OF HERE, I DON'T CARE" "IF YOU'RE A SECOND‐GENERATION TOM SERVO, GET OUT!" "DID YOU NOTICE THERE WAS A COMMERCIAL SIGN THERE?" "‐ I GOTTA GO, ‐ OH, THAT'S GREAT," "WE GOT A COMMERCIAL SIGN," "♪" "I'M SORRY, TOM, BUT THAT OTHER TOM" "IS GONNA HAVE TO BE DESTROYED," "WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO‐‐ I NEEDED A FRIEND," "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DISMANTLE HIM," "CROW, COME ON, GET OUT HERE," "CUT THAT OUT," "CROW!" "SORRY," "NICE, COLD, DRIBBLING WATER," "BUT BOB DIDN'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING," "THE RANKEST THING OF ALL‐‐" "ABOUT THE BOSS AND GIRLS," "YOU MEAN ANGELO?" "NO, I MEAN THE BOSS‐‐ THAT TROPP," "BOY, IS HE RANK," "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, YOUNG LADY?" "DO YOU?" "DID I STUTTER OR SOMETHING, GRANDMA?" ",YOU SPREADING MALICIOUS GOSSIP," "MALICIOUS TRUTH," "‐ PROOF OF WHAT?" "‐ ASK MY SISTER PENNY," "HE GOT HER UP TO HIS HOUSE AND WAS GONNA GET HER ON T, V," "AND THEN HE TRIED TO MAKE A PASS AT HER," "BUT SHE FUMBLED ON THE FOURTH DOWN," "GO ON," "THEN THERE WAS MORE BAD STUFF, REAL BAD," ", HIS HOUSEKEEPER," "LIVING AT THE HOUSE WITH HIM," "THAT'S ONE WAY OF GETTING OUT OF PICKING COTTON," "AND WHAT A WAY," "GOT IT!" "DAMN ROACHES," "WHAT DID I DO?" "WHAT DID I SAY?" "IT'S NOTHING THAT YOU DID," "YOU COME ALONG WITH ME," "♪" "OH, WOW, ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER," "HOT DAMN," "THEY ALL SOUND THE SAME," "I THINK SHE'S GONNA INCITE A RIOT," "SOMEONE GET SOME ANIMAL TRANQUILIZERS," "♪ ,AS A SALAMANDER ♪" "♪ SLIP AND SLIDE AWAY, ♪" "WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE THAT DOG FOOD IS GOOD FOR THEM," "SHE'S REALLY GOT A SHINY COAT," "IT'S A HIGH‐PRO‐GLOW," "♪ JIGGLE AND WRIGGLE AND ROCK ♪" "♪ JIGGLE AND WIGGLE AND WRIGGLE AND ROCK ♪" "SHE'S JUST READING THE STAGE DIRECTIONS," "NICE LIGHTING," "♪ OH, JIGGLE AND WIGGLE AND WRIGGLE AND ROCK ♪" "♪ OH, JIGGLE AND WIGGLE AND WRIGGLE AND ROCK ♪" "♪ OH, JIGGLE AND WIGGLE AND WRIGGLE AND ROCK ♪" "♪ I DON'T WANT YOU TODAY ♪" "SHE'S THE ONE WHO CAUSED ALL THAT TROUBLE AT ATTICA," "( cheering )" "YIKES!" "♪ ,YOU'RE MY DESIRE ♪" "♪ BUT YOU SHOULD BE TOLD, ♪" "‐ I'M IN LOVE, ‐ DUCK!" "SHE'S GOT A REALLY NEAT BODY," "♪ BUT YOU'RE AS SLIMY, BABY, AS A SALAMANDER ♪" "♪ SLIP AND SLIDE AWAY ♪" "WHY AM I HERE, YOU GUYS?" "THIS GUYS VALIDATED MY EXISTENCE, HEH HEH!" "SHE USES MORE PEROXIDE IN HER HAIR" "THAN AN ENTIRE MASH UNIT," "♪ SALAMANDER ♪" "♪ MANDER, MANDER, SALAMANDER ♪" "♪ SLIP AND SLIDE AWAY ♪" "OH, THANKS," "♪ MANDER, SALAMANDER, ♪" "THIS IS LIKE THE LAS VEGAS PRISON CAMP, I THINK," "LAS VEGAN," "♪ I DON'T WANT YOU TODAY ♪" "♪ I DON'T WANT YOU, ♪" "ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF GREAT LIGHTING," "(ndistinct )" "POW, POW, POW," "ALL RIGHT, THAT'S LUNCH, EVERYBODY," "IT'S THE DELI TRAY, TRY AND LOOK SMART," "OKAY, LET'S‐‐ I SAID LOOK SMART," "PENNY?" "OH, EXCUSE ME, KIDS," "COME ON, KIDS, LET'S GO!" "♪" "ANOTHER ONE," "WHERE'S JANEY?" "I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR HER," "OH, WE SOLD HER INTO SLAVERY FOR SOME MAGIC BEANS, WHY?" "THEN SHE GOT IN A CAR WITH HIM, AND THEY DROVE OFF," "THEY WENT OFF THE RANCH?" "SURE, OUT INTO THE HIGHWAY" "AND TOWARD KAHULA CITY," "WHO WAS HE?" "HE HAD ON A SUNTAN UNIFORM," "YOU MEAN HE WAS NAKED?" ", AND ANGELO LET JANEY GO," "OH," "OH?" "WHAT?" "I THINK I KNOW," "COME ON, PENNY," "All:" "I KNOW A WIENER MAN, HE OWNS A HOT DOG STAND ♪" "WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO, JUDGE STEELE?" "AND WHO ARE ALL THESE GUYS ON THE FLOOR?" ",CLEAN UP A MESS FOR WHICH I'M PARTLY RESPONSIBLE," "I'M SORRY," "YOU'RE SORRY?" "I'M STEPPING ON CAMERAMEN" "LEFT AND RIGHT IN THIS SHOT," "I ASKED YOU FOR THE TRUTH," "I THINK YOU GAVE IT TO ME," "I JUST DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE SO," "HARD TO TAKE," "AND I HAD NO IDEA THE STEERING WHEEL WOULD BE THIS BIG," "HEY, THAT GUY'S GREAT," "OH, IT'S GREG BRADY AGAIN, WE LIKE HIM," "♪ YOU CAN MAKE ME CRY, YOU CAN SHAKE THE STARS ♪" "♪ RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY, ♪" "ONE FOR SERVO," "SHE'S DOING A COVER OF THAT OTHER GUY'S SONG," "YOU THINK I LOOK GOOD?" "I DO," "YEAH, YOU COULD MAKE A GOOD WHISKEY DECANTER," "IT'S BECAUSE OF MY B, V, D,'s, 9:30, GET THOSE PEOPLE TURNED IN," "FLUFFY, CROTCH, BAD," "HERE COMES SHERIFF TAYLOR," "THAT'S THE SHERIFF'S CAR," "HOW CAN YOU TELL?" "THE CAR THEY TOOK JANEY AWAY IN‐‐WAS IT MARKED?" "I DON'T THINK SO," "I DON'T REMEMBER," "I'M GONNA CHECK INTO THIS," "ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, TURN IN," "‐ YOU'D BETTER GO TURN IN, ‐ NO," "TURN INTO WHAT?" "(aughter" "(kissing noises )" "OKAY, SO TELL ME SOMETHING, AND BE HONEST," "DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE COLONEL TOM PARKER?" "(issing noises )" "WAIT HERE, PENNY," "FILMED IN AMERICA'S TRACTOR PAVILION," "SCENIC WISCONSIN," "THAT'S A REALLY TALL TRACTOR," "QUICK, HOP BEHIND THE MANURE‐SPREADER," "THAT'S IT," "(niffs YUCK!" "THAT'S THE MAN?" "YEAH, BUT HE ONLY SPEAKS SPANISH," "SO MUCH THE BETTER," "I'M SO SORRY, HE'S FROM BARCELONA," "WHO'S THE GREASER BEHIND THE MANURE‐SPREADER?" "LOOKS LIKE JAMES DEAN," "LOOKS MORE LIKE JIMMY DEAN," "REBEL WITHOUT A SAUSAGE," "( indistinct chatter )" "GO GET MARGARITA, AND HURRY," "FROZEN OR ON THE ROCKS?" "♪" "PENNY, YOU STAY HERE AND WARN US IF ANYONE COMES," "COME ON, MARGARITA," "I LOVE THAT MAN," "( man speaking Spanish )" "WHAT IS HE SAYING?" "HE MUMBLED SOMETHING ABOUT SHOOTING THE KID BEHIND THE TRACTOR," "BUT I COULDN'T MAKE OUT THE REST," "( Spanish chatter continues )" "IT'S A FAJITA RECIPE," "SIZZLE, SIZZLE, SIZZLE," "( Spanish chatter continues )" ""MIGRATION PERMITS," "TO WORK,"" "OKAY, GOOD, NOW LET'S MOVE ON" "TO THE CHAPTER ON MAKING FRIENDS," "( Spanish chatter continues )" "OKAY," "( clatter )" "OH, SORRY ABOUT THE GARBAGE CAN," "WE'LL JUST BE GOING," "POSH, PUFF, SIC," "REALLY MESS UP THE SAVAGES," "GO, BOYS," "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" "( barking )" "( screaming )" "HAVE YOU HAD YOUR TEETH CLEANED, LITTLE FELLA?" "BIG TARTAR BUILD‐UP THERE," "OH, THEY'RE JUST MAD 'CAUSE THOSE HUMANS" "GOT TO EAT ALL THEIR DOG FOOD," "JOAN COLLINS," "CUT!" "OKAY, THAT'S A WRAP, GET THE DOG OFF," "OKAY, NICE SCENE, EVERYONE, LET'S GET HOME," "WE'VE GOT ANOTHER SCENE TO DO IN THE MORNING," "THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT," "IT IS NOW," "THEY'RE REALLY EMBELLISHING HERE, AREN'T HEY?" "( Spanish chatter )" "SHE'S LYING, HE'S NOT HER LOVER," "HE'S A FIGHTER," "SIT," "ME OR THE DOGS?" "WHEN YOU TAKE MORALES OVER THE BORDER," "TAKE THESE KIDS ALONG WITH YOU," "AND GET RID OF THEM DOWN THERE," "WAIT, RUSS, THAT'S GOING TOO FAR!" "YOU WANT US TO END UP IN THE FEDERAL CLINK?" "THIS IS NO TIME TO ARGUE," "MR, MAYTAG MAN," ",YOU WON'T HAVE TO GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY," "YOU GO ALONG, TOO," "(verlapping chatter )" "WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?" "IT'S A BIG PRODUCTION NUMBER," "GET THEM IN THE CAR, I'LL HANDLE THESE MONKEYS," "LOOKS LIKE THERE COULD BE A RUMBLE," "( dogs growling )" "THIS IS A MUTINY, A RIOT," "NOW, GO ON BACK TO YOUR QUARTERS," "OR YOU'LL FIND YOURSELVES BACK IN JAIL," "WE'LL TAKE THE JAIL," "YOU SET YOUR DOGS ON TWO OF OUR PEOPLE, MR, TROPP," "WE DON'T LIKE THAT," "LOOK, BOSS, I LIKE HOUNDS AS WELL AS ANYBODY," "BUT THOSE DOGS ARE KILLERS," "IF I WASN'T SURE GREG BRADY WAS A GUY," "‐ I'D, UH‐‐ ‐ SNAP OUT OF IT," "( growling )" "DRIVE THROUGH 'EM!" "RUN 'EM DOWN!" "OH, GREAT, FINALLY, A GOOD JOB," "IT'S THE CAST FROM A TOBE HOOPER FILM," "LITTLE PUNK HIT ME WITH A NERF BALL!" "COME ON, OFFICER KRUPKE," "YOU WANT A RIOT?" "I'LL GIVE YOU A RIOT," "All:" "RR!" "GET TO BED BEFORE SOMEBODY GETS KILLED!" "THAT'LL BE ENOUGH OF THAT, MITCH BOWERS!" "WHAT DO YOU WANT, AUNT BEA?" "AND SO, MANUEL NORIEGA QUICKLY SEIZES THE OPPORTUNITY" "TO MAKE HIS ESCAPE," "THAT OUGHT TO HOLD 'EM, RIGHT IN THE NUNZIO," "HOLD HIM, HOLD HIM!" "GRAB HIM, GRAB HIM!" "HOLD HIM!" "GIVE HIM A WEDGIE, YEAH," "I CERTAINLY AM GLAD YOU'RE HERE, JUDGE STEELE," "THERE'S BEEN A MUTINY, A RIOT," "A COUP," "WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, BOB?" "THIS GUY'S A COYOTE," "HE'S BRINGING 300 WETBACKS" "FROM OVER THE BORDER ON TROPP'S ORDERS," "GET SOME TOWELS," "NICE TO SEE YOU," "BUT, AS YOU CAN SEE, THERE'S BEEN A RIOT‐‐" "SEARCH HIM, MITCH," "( all chattering )" "THEY ALL WANT TO SEARCH HIM," "YEAH, MAN," "WAIT A MINUTE, THESE ARE STILLS FROM YARDS OF LEATHER," "TAKE THEM INTO CUSTODY," "( all agreeing )" "DO YOUR DUTY!" "TO GOD AND YOUR COUNTRY, OBEY THE LAW OF THE PACK," "I'VE JUST LEARNED TONIGHT OF SOME OF THE CONDITIONS" "YOU'VE BEEN LIVING UNDER," "I READ YOUR CONTRACT, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE WORKING FOR THIS," ", SO DOES THE COUNTY HAVE AN OBLIGATION" "TO PAY TO YOU AS PRISONERS," "I'M GONNA HAVE YOU ALL INTO COURT" "IN THE MORNING," "IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO AS A JUDGE," "IT WILL BE TO COMMUTE YOUR SENTENCES TO TIME SERVED," "THEN WE'RE GONNA DO A SHOW," "AND THAT WILL BE THE LAST THING I DO AS A JUDGE," "'CAUSE I JUST GOT A READING FOR MURDER, SHE WROTE," "I THINK WE MIGHT NEED A FEW TEMPORARY DEPUTIES," "BOB," "FIND SOME FOR ME," ", AND YOU AND YOU," "AND SCARECROW AND THE REST OF YOU," "MAN, OH, MAN, THIS IS WILD, HA HA!" "( laughter )" "♪" "THIS IS WHAT DEPUTIES DO?" "I THINK SO, ONLY THEY'RE USUALLY PARKED" "AT A MISTER DONUT DOING IT," "HEY, M, T, V, MEXICAN TELEVISION, HEH!" "DAVID BYRNE'S NEW BAND," "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "♪ SING THE CHORUS ♪" "♪ EVERYBODY THINKS THE CALYPSO SONG, ♪" "MAMIE MADE IT!" "AUNTIE MAMIE!" "♪ TRINIDAD'S BEEN HAD ♪" "( indistinct lyrics )" "♪ HELLO, BOYS, IF I'D KNOWN YOU WERE COMING ♪" "♪ I'D HAVE BAKED A RUM CAKE ♪" "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M PUTTING UP WITH THIS," "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "♪ EVERYBODY, GO ♪" "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "SHE'S GOT NEAT UNDERWEAR IN THIS ONE," "NICE DIAPERS," "THEY'RE HUGGIES, ALL RIGHT," "THIS MUST BE THE THEME SONG OF THE COUSTEAU SOCIETY," "‐ ♪ NEW YORK?" "♪ ‐ ♪ YES, NEW YORK ♪" "AND SO WE LEAVE THE CAVE OF THE GIANT BARRACUDA," "(aughter" "AS WE SO END THE FILM," "WE ARE REMINDED OF OUR TINY FRIENDS" "OF MAMIE VAN DOREN," "‐ HOW WAS THAT?" "‐ GREAT," "‐ CLOSE?" "‐ YEAH," "GOOD GREGORY PECK," "THAT WAS MY CHINESE GANGSTER IMPRESSION," "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "THIS IS PROBABLY THE LONGEST MINUTE IN FILM HISTORY," "DO YOU REALIZE THAT?" "YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK UP HER SKIRT, IT'S OPEN," "♪ SHAKE THE BANANA ♪" "♪ COME ON, BOYS, AND CARRY MY BANANAS ♪" "WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN?" ""CARRY MY BANANAS"?" "‐ I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, ‐ IT'S A METAPHOR," "♪ EVERYBODY, GO ♪" "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "HEY, LOOKIT," "♪ GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "♪ SING THE CHORUS ♪" "( indistinct lyrics )" "SO THAT'S WHAT THE TIJUANA BRASS IS DOING," "♪ I DON'T TAKE JOKERS, HE DON'T GO ♪" "♪ TELL US, GIRL, WHY YOU SHAKE THE HIPS SO ♪" "SHE LOOKS SO LATIN, TOO," "SO DO THEY," "♪ I TAKE THE MONEY ♪" "♪ I GET THE TICKLES ♪" "HUH?" "YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT TO LOOK AT HER," "♪ MAMA GO CALYPSO ♪" "♪ BABY GO CALYPSO ♪" "EVERYONE CALYPSO," "♪ EVERYONE CALYPSO ♪" "I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE TIKI ROOM," "I WISH I WERE," "YOU GOT THE PROFILE FOR IT," "THANK YOU," "HELLO THERE!" "WELL, THERE SHE IS, FOLKS," "YOUR PANTS ARE ON FIRE, OH," "YOU KNOW, (turns sound off)" "MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY," "OOPS," ",BEING UP THERE WITH PENNY," "THE APPLAUSE AND ALL?" "OH, I'D MISS YOU MUCH, MUCH MORE," "THAN WHAT?" "RISON?" "WELL, WE'RE BOTH GONE, YOU KNOW," "BOB, THE FOREMAN WANTS YOU AT THE "Q" RANCH," "SOMETHING ABOUT ONE OF THE MACHINES," "OKAY," "AND HE WANTS TO RUN YOU OVER WITH IT," "CAN'T I GO WITH YOU?" "YOU'D BETTER SAY THAT, YOU CAN'T START TOO EARLY" "IF YOU'RE GONNA BE A COTTON‐PICKIN' RANCHER'S WIFE," "HEY, WATCH YOUR MOUTH, PAL," "I GUESS WE'D BEST BE GOING, TOO, HUH?" "YEAH, LET'S GET REAL GONE," "LET'S MOSEY, DADDY‐O," "♪ GO, GO, GO, CALYPSO, GO ♪" "♪ GO, THE CALYPSO, GO ♪" "♪ GO, THE CALYPSO, GO ♪" "(knock on door )" "COME ON IN," "HEY, JOEL, I HOPE WE'RE NOT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING," "NOT AT ALL," "CAN I GET YOU SOME RAM CHIPS OR SOMETHING?" "OH, NO, JUST ATE," "YEAH, STUFFED, COULDN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE," "OKAY, WELL, WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?" "WELL, WE WERE DOWN IN THE GALLEY," "PLAYING FREEZE TAG, AND WE STARTED WONDERING" "ABOUT THAT GOOFY MUTANT CHARLIE CALLAS GUY IN THE FILM," "YOU KNOW, THAT BESPECTACLED WEENIE" "THAT NO ONE WOULD DANCE WITH, WHAT'S THE STORY ON HIM?" "RIGHT, I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN," "CAMBOT, COULD YOU PUT UP FRAME 2,325?" "I THINK IT'S SOMEWHERE AROUND THERE, LET'S CHECK IT OUT," "YEAH, THAT'S THE GUY, LOOK AT HIM," "POOR SAP, PROBABLY HAS A FAMILY," "SO, JOEL, WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING THIS GUY IN THE FILM?" "WHAT'S HIS PURPOSE?" "I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW," "SO I GOT US ALL GOOFY HATS TO WEAR," "EVERYBODY GETS ONE, AND YOU GET THIS ONE," "AND I GOT MYSELF SOME GLASSES," "YOU GUYS CAN'T WEAR GLASSES" "'CAUSE YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE EYES TO SPEAK OF," "AND THEN THE GOOFY FRIEND" "IS THE GUY WHO WEARS HIS HAT SIDEWAYS LIKE THIS" "AND ALWAYS GETS KILLED FIRST IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE," "LIKE, "GUYS?" "UYS?" "HEY, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE, GUYS?"" "OH, SO IT'S, LIKE," ""GUYS?" "UYS?"" ""HEY, COME ON,"" ""GUYS?"" "All:" "AAAH!" "‐ YEAH, YOU GOT IT, ‐ COOL," "HEY, JOEL, THIS IS KIND OF FUN," "YEAH, OKAY," "SO, LIKE, WHAT ELSE DOES HE DO?" "WHAT'S HIS POINT, THOUGH?" "WELL, THE GOOFY GUY IS AROUND" "TO IRRITATE THE AUDIENCE" "SO THEY BUILD UP A REAL LOT OF RESENTMENT," "SO NOBODY'S HURT WHEN HE GETS OFFED," "‐ AHH, ‐ YEAH," "NOW, LET'S END UP WITH THE GOOFY DANCE, OKAY?" "YEAH, THAT'S‐‐ THAT'S PRETTY GOOD," "YOU'RE CATCHING ON, ANYWAY, I THOUGHT‐‐" "IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THE EXPERIMENT TO GET DONE WITH," "AND I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD DO SOME LETTERS, OKAY?" "ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE HERE," "LET'S SEE," "THIS ONE IS FROM CHERYL WATSON IN SHREVEPORT, LOUISIANA," "AND SHE SAYS‐‐ CAMBOT, CAN YOU PUT IT UP ON THE SCREEN?" ""TO THE MAN AND THE TWO ROBOTS, I LOVE YOUR SHOW," ""I CAME HOME ONE SATURDAY NIGHT" ""AND TUNED ON THE T, V,‐‐ TURNED ON THE T, V," ""I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS WATCHING," ""BUT IT WAS HILARIOUS, SO I DIDN'T CARE," ""NORMALLY I WATCH SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ON SATURDAY," "BUT NOW I WATCH M, S, T, 3000,"" "LIVE, FROM SPACE, IT'S US!" "RIGHT, ANYWAY, WE GOT ONE MORE HERE," "AND, CAMBOT, YOU WANT TO PUT THIS ONE UP ON THE SCREEN THERE?" "OH, THIS ONE IS FROM A WOMAN NAMED DEE," "IT SAYS, "DEAR JOEL, SERVO AND CROW," ""GREETINGS, GUYS," ""JOEL, YOU ARE ONE TALENTED HUMAN," "AND I'M GLAD YOU DECIDED TO GIVE CROW AND SERVO FREE WILL,"" "WELL, THANKS FOR NOTICING," ""AND, CROW, SERVO, I LOVE YOU, LITTLE BOTS," ""KEEP ON DOING THOSE GROUP PARODIES" "OF THOSE MOLDY, OLDIE MOVIES, OKAY?"" "I LOVE YOU LITTLE BOT, TOO," ""STOKE OF GENIUS,"" "AND THAT'S FROM A WOMAN NAMED WEE," ""LOVE, WEE,"" "THAT'S US, I THINK, I THINK IT'S US," "ANYWAY, SO, CAMBOT, WHY DON'T WE PUT UP" "THE INFORMATION OF THE INFORMATION CLUB?" "TOM SERVO, YOU WANT TO GIVE THEM OUR ADDRESS?" "THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S," "BE THE SMARTEST GUY ON YOUR BLOCK," "HAVE THE BIGGEST BRAIN ON YOUR BLOCK" "BY BECOMING A MEMBER OF THE M, S, T, 3000 INFORMATION CLUB," "ANYWAY, THAT'S THE END OF THE EXPERIMENT, SIRS," "WHAT DO YOU THINK?" "YOU KNOW, I THINK WE SHOULD KEEP" "THE MAMIE VAN DOREN FILMS TO OURSELVES," "AND I THINK YOU SHOULD FILE THIS," "UNTIL NEXT TIME, DOUBLE‐STUFF," "♪"