"Male announcer:" "And now, nickelodeon and dreamworks'" "Monsters vs. Aliens." " ¶ mva ¶" "¶ mva ¶" " ¶ monsters vs. Aliens ¶" "¶ it's us vs. Them" "¶ foe vs. Friend" "¶ brain vs. B.O.B." " ¶ it's a super-freaky job" " Oh, yeah, it's freaky." " ¶ mva ¶" " ¶ monsters vs. Aliens ¶" " [cackles] - ¶ monsters vs. Aliens ¶" "¶ monsters vs. Aliens ¶" "¶ mva ¶" " It's all down to this." "The world championship of catch." "B.O.B. Looks sharp, and he's paired" "With the career leader in being caught," "Fernando bolaroja." "Game face, fernando!" "Let's do this." "[squeaks] [grunting]" "Don't you choke on me now, fernando!" "Ahh!" "Fernando!" "Not you!" "[chuckles] [grunting] [screaming]" "Ahh!" "[laughing] [toilet flushes]" "[chuckles]" "That was awesome." "Fernando!" "[giggles]" "Caught!" "And the crowd goes... [electricity crackles]" "Spooky?" "[light buzzes]" "[gasps]" "I am so gonna flip that switch." "[laughs] [alarm walls] [giggles]" " Defense system failure." "Defense system failure." "Defense" " Stand down, b.O.B.!" " Hey, guys, it's really hard to flip that switch" "When you're grabbing my arm." " General monger?" "B.O.B.?" "We heard the alarm!" "[alarm stops]" "What's going on?" " The blue goo has gone rogue!" "Quickly, liquidate him!" "Then the others too, just to be safe." " Nobody's liquidating anybody." " Aw." " At least as long as nobody touches" "My ultimate emergency switch." " Ultimate emergency switch, you say?" " Just a little something" "The base brainiacs cooked up in the '60s." "If things ever get really bad," "And I mean duck-and-cover, tell-your-mama-you-love-her bad," "That's when I hit the switch." " And?" "Continue, man." "What does the switch actually do?" " Hang on." "I'll find out." "[grunting]" "I just want to touch it." " That information is so highly classified," "Nobody knows but yours truly." "Trust me, you don't want to be around when it happens," "And by "around," I mean on earth." " Mystery doomsday device, eh?" "[chuckles and grunts]" "That was my quiet voice." "You had no right to listen." " Hmm." "I'd say this room's security system" "Is due for an upgrade." " I volunteer to secure this room" "And all of its tantalizing, forbidden secrets." " I'll handle the upgrades myself." "By this time tomorrow," "Nobody will be getting near this switch again." "In the meantime, forget you ever saw it." " Already forgotten, general." "And now I am leaving on a totally unrelated matter." "Or is it?" "Quiet voice!" "No listening." " Team monster copies, general." "And if you say this room is off-limits, then" "B.O.B.!" " What?" "Oh, that's so weird." "I mean, you know how sometimes" "You forget where your arm is?" "Then it's like, "where did I get tacos?"" "[giggles] you know." " Your other arm's doing it too." "[grunting]" " Monsters?" " [chuckles] isn't he adorable?" "All under control." " They call it an ultimate emergency switch." "If it's some sort of weapon," "It could help our evil plans." "Yay, evil!" "[chuckles]" "Coverton out." " Yeah, you should probably use a quiet voice" "For talking evil like that." " [groans]" " The switch!" "Switch!" " Okay, b.O.B., what's the deal?" " Look, it's, like, a thing with me." "I see a button, got to push it." "See a dial, got to turn it." "See a switch, I got to flip it." " B.O.B., you can't" " I mean, like, right now, you're talking and I'm talking," "But all I'm thinking is," ""wouldn't it be awesome to flip that switch?"" "Uh, yeah!" "It would!" "Be right back, guys." "Gah!" "I'm doing it again." "I can't help it!" " Sure you can." "You just need a little self-control." " Say-ulf con-trowl." "Uh, I don't know." "My mouth feels like that's a fake word." " By tomorrow, monger's security upgrades" "Will take care of keeping you out." "You just have to control yourself for one day, b.O.B." " A whole day?" "[sighs]" "Okay, but you guys better be ready" "To stop me if I lose it." " We got your back." " But you totally won't need it." "I have faith in you, b.O.B." "Just repeat after me:" "I will not touch the emergency switch." " I will only touch the switch one time," "Very lightly flipping it." " No!" "B.O.B." ""I will not touch." ""not touch!" "Not."" " [sighs]" "I will not touch-- [grunting]" " Stop!" " Yeah, self-control?" "Not b.O.B.'s thing." " I must question the wisdom" "Of activating an unknown emergency device." "It could initiate a base-wide self-destruct" "Or collapse the universe or..." "Anything." " Which is why you simply must" "Flip that switch and find out." "For science!" "And probably extra credit" "On your little earth studies field trip." " I do enjoy extra credit." " [grunting]" "Ahh!" " [yells]" " Coverton?" " A bit peculiar to find you down here," "Wouldn't you say?" " You're peculiar!" "It's a free hallway." "We're going that way now." "They're on to us." "It appears we'll have to take a stealthier route." " What is up with mushroom head and the pip-sqweep?" " Not at the top of my problem list right now, okay?" "Seriously, how can you not stop thinking about the switch?" "You don't even have a brain." " The heart wants what it wants, susan." "You don't need a brain to know that." " But you don't have a heart either." " Really?" "Then which part of me wants to flip that switch?" "Is it my butt?" "Because I do not trust that guy." " Ugh, clearly self-control isn't working here, susan." "I suggest option "b":" "Distraction." " A surprise?" "For me?" "And I get to walk down a hallway?" "Ahh!" "Could this day get any awesomer?" " Just wait till you see what the doc-roach made for you." "[mechanical humming]" " Status report." " Nearing subbasement level 7." "Three more floors to the switch." " Check it." " [screams]" " I know how much you love buttons, dials, and switches," "So I scavenged enough to keep you busy for-- [switchboard beeps]" " [giggling]" "Thanks, doc." "You know, I am so pumped to hit that emergency switch now." "[grunting]" " Look, b.O.B., another dial." "Ooh, I think this one is a thermostat." "It's hot." "It's cold." "It's hot." "It's cold." "It's hot." "[both screaming]" " Retreat!" " All right, you know what?" "We give up." " If you are absolutely determined" "To hit the ultimate emergency switch," "We shan't stop you." " In fact, you're so great," "We even drew you a shortcut map." " Wow!" "Thanks, guys." "Oh!" "Okay, let's see." "Looks like I make a right turn here." "And then I guess I turn right again." "Right turn it is." "Right again." " And that takes care" "Of b.O.B.'s emergency switch obsession." " Right turn." " What do my senses overhear?" "Have we been going about this all wrong?" " Of course." "It isn't necessary to test the switch ourselves." " Not when we can manipulate a blobby simpleton" "Into doing it for us." " I am on it." "[device beeps]" " Okay." "I guess now I go that way." " What's-about-a-what?" " [giggles]" " B.O.B., wait!" "[grunting]" " [chuckles] [triumphant orchestral music]" " You." "Me." "Let's flip this thing." "[exciting music] [record scratches]" "Huh." "Weird." "I could swear somebody told me" "Not to flip this switch." " Nonsense." "Why should anyone tell you not to flip" "A perfectly flippable switch?" " No, I'm pretty sure they did." " Didn't." " Something about" "Say-ulf con-trow-something." " Flip the switch!" " Wait a minute." "You want me to flip the switch." " Yes!" "I was incredibly clear on this point." " And I want to flip the switch," "So that's two votes "yes."" "Okay, anybody else have anything to... [giggles]" "No!" " What do you mean, "no"?" "Flip it." "Flip it!" " I cannot," "For now I see that today," "I must be strong" "Like my hero," "Fernando bolaroja!" "You're an inspiration to us all, buddy." " [grunting]" "Congratulations." "Big moment for you." "Why not call your friends to celebrate?" "You can use that phone that looks like a switch." " Oh, good idea." "[switch clicks]" "Hello?" "Susan?" "Hello?" "Did I accidentally flip twice para español?" "Susana!" " What?" "Nothing?" "How can there be nothing?" "Are you certain you're flipping the switch correctly?" " Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what's making the monkey dance." " Monkey does what?" "[cymbals clang]" " B.O.B., don't hit the-  [whimpers]" " I am thoroughly confused." " Make way, soldiers." " Why, look who showed up just now." "It's me." "What did I miss?" "Oh, there's a monkey." " Security upgrades." "Instead of arming a whole mess of new booby traps," "I just wired my ultimate emergency switch somewhere else." "That one is now strictly for dancing monkey activation." " Monkey on." "Monkey off." "Monkey on." "Monkey off." " [imitates laughing]" "How clever." "Well played, general." "You win again" "For now." "[grunts] quiet voice!" " Sorry, general." "We tried to keep him away, but" " At ease, susan." "I like to see a little gung-ho rule-skirting." "You know, b.O.B.," "I was a bit of a maverick myself back in the day." " Oh, hang on." "I'll get the lights." " Don't hit that" "B.O.B.!" " Monsters, aliens," "How would you rate today's mission performance?" " Let's see." "Meteor storm hit egypt." "We knocked them away." " Alien technology diverted 34 incoming meteors," "Far more than team ook-ook, me punch-punch." " We changed our team name?" "But I just wrote the fight song." "¶ go, team monster" "You love it." " Frankly, I'm more concerned about the 160 meteors" "That hit before we showed up." "This unit protects the entire planet." "We've got to be able to get anywhere on earth" "Before the sphinx takes a space rock to the kisser." "Gentlemen, lady, assorted etceteras," "We need a faster way to get from "a" to "b."" "Ideas." "Go!" " Well, I have been working on a day-old donut fuel source that" " Would this be helpful?" "I've been tinkering with a terrestrial version" "Of the solar sail concept" "Using jet stream convection." " Hmm, give it to me in "fast."" " Roughly ten times the speed of your hypersonic engines." " Oh, my, that is fast." " I also have plans for a flatulent dirigible." " Plus, we could paint flames on the sides." "That would be cool, right?" " Hot rod almighty, that is a fine idea." " [growls]" "Teleportation!" "I have a teleportation machine." " Really?" " [scoffs] doubtful." " Instantaneous matter transfer to any point on earth?" "Everybody knows that's impossible." " Child, I specialize in the impossible." " Outstanding, team monster." " Oh, yeah!" " Go, cockroach!" " I am so lost right now." " So which one is the teleportation machine?" " I don't have one." "I'm a big, fraudulent liar." "I just couldn't stand looking like a fool" "In front of that insufferable sqweep child." " Right." "Better to look like a bigger fool" "In front of everybody." "That'll show the kid." " [groans]" " Come on, you've got a whole mad scientist lab here." "Why couldn't you just whip up a teleportation machine?" " You think I haven't tried?" "I gave up after the hamster incident." " You have a hamster?" " Most of it." " Okay, but this time you've got" "All of team monster behind you." " Are any of you versed in trans-spatial particle dynamics?" " Whoo!" "Let's do this." "[energetic electronic music]" "¶" " [grunts]" "[machine beeps and burbles] [laughs]" "Yes!" " Oh, it's green!" "Green is good, right?" " Always, baby." "[machine zings]" " Did that just-  [laughs]" "Success." " High-five the doc-roach." " Where did you teleport him to?" " Hey, guys, check it out." "There's a green space ring over here too." "I wonder where this one goes." "And there's one over here too?" "[laughs]" " Confused?" " Yep." " Good." "I think that's the smart response." " This isn't teleportation." "All I've done is open up a pathetic 20-foot wormhole." " And there's probably a difference, right?" " Real teleportation could send us anywhere in the world," "Perhaps even the galaxy," "Whereas this puny thing just goes 20 feet that way." " Uhh!" " Okay, yeah, that's kind of useless." " And, interesting side note, it's also lactose intolerant." " So your wormhole can't handle dairy." "[rumbling] [wormhole belches]" " [laughs]" " Wow, there is so much" "I do not get about mad science." " I should get some rest." "There's a lively morning of public shaming ahead of me." " You know what, doc?" "I can work with this." " Really?" "That's great." "Oh, it's one of those ideas." " [laughing]" " Tell me why we couldn't just do this demo" "Inside the base." " Uh, teleportation works best in the open air." "It's something to do with the, uh" "The follicules." " Yeah." "[indistinct grumbling]" " That's-- there's no such" "General, he's talking nonsense." " Let's see some sweet teleporting." " Assembled very important persons" " Boo." "Boo!" " And also coverton" "Behold, the wonders" "Of teleportation." " ¶ doobity-da-da-do" "Teleportation." "[machine hums]" " Ahh?" " Whoa, nelly!" " With this machine, I can send man or monster" "To any spot on earth" "And have him return with a local souvenir to prove it." " ¶ wushiga-wah" " Teleportation target?" "Belgium." " Hoo-ah!" "[machine zings] [all gasp]" "[chuckles]" "Little something from belgium." "Belgium." "Perfecto." " ¶ everybody look up here" "¶ stare straight ahead" "¶ yeah, yeah, yeah [machine zings]" " Ladies and gentlemen," "Genuine belgian waffles." "[all gasp] [applause]" " This seems highly dubious." " Um, what if I don't want to go to belgium?" "Perhaps I think waffles are stupid." " Ah, calibrating for..." "Mexico." "[machine zings]" " Whoo-hoo." "Authentic microwave taquitos." "Es super picante." "Tss." " Whoa." " Ooh, now do kyrgyzstan." "What?" "It's my favorite central asian republic." " Mm... [machine zings]" " It's clearly a hoax, but how are they" " Ow." "Stupid rock." "Ow!" " Of course." "An epsilon-class short-range wormhole." "But everyone knows the epsilon class" "Is extremely lactose intolerant." " Oh, is it?" "[chuckles]" " Why are you laughing like that?" "Ohh." "We are being devious." " Kyrgyzstan:" "World famous for its-- [sniffs]" "Air fresheners." "[applause] - yay!" " Great!" "Well, I think that wraps up" " I request wisconsin." "One can never tell what evil" "May strike america's dairyland." " The little devil knows." " Stay cool." "Your wormhole can manage one little carton of... [machine zings]" "Ta-dairy." "[wormhole belches]" " Hmm, lactose intolerant checkmate." " Monsters, did my teleportation machine just gurgle?" " Minor side effect." "The important thing is that teleportation" "Is far superior to anything sqweep could invent." "Thank you." "You've been a lovely audience." " How about something from France?" "Say, cheese?" " Cheese!" "Take the picture." " Never back down, doc." " Link, wait." "[machine zings]" " Fromage." "[wormhole belches]" "Wait, there's lactose in cheese?" " Enough!" " Its follicules?" " I know what catastrophe sounds like:" "That." "Shut it down." " Yes, general." "[machine beeps]" " But this was just getting fun." "[ominous music]" "¶" " Coverton, no." " [grunts]" "Ahh!" "[wormhole grumbling] [wormhole belches and farts]" "[yelling]" " Turn it off, dr." "C!" " I'm trying!" "It won't respond." " Their fault." "Everyone saw it." "I had nothing to do with-- [grunts]" " Hang on." "Let me pummel the problem." "[grunts] [wormhole farts] [yelling]" " Whoa!" "Whee!" "[laughs]" " It's expanding exponentially." "Completely self-powered." " Wait, what does that mean?" "." " It means it won't stop growing" "Until it rips the planet apart." "[ominous music]" "¶" " You!" "Smart one." "I was talking to the one who did not make a suck-hole" "That's gonna eat my planet!" "Little alien, I order you to plug this thing." " I don't know how to." "There's no protocol." " It's all on you, doc." "You can do this." " I assure you, it's impossible." " Child, I specialize in the impossible." "[energetic electronic music]" "Susan, this device will require you" "To activate your ginormica powers on my command." " Really?" " Ahh!" " No time to explain." "Ready?" "Now." " Oof." "[machine sputters] [all yelling]" " [grunts]" " The wormhole may need a few hours" "To digest all that lactose." "Till then, clog away, susan." " This was your plan?" " Outstanding work, doctor." " Outstanding?" "It was a complete failure." "He was supposed to be solving" "A transportation problem." " Hands up if you saved the earth today." "Mouth closed if you didn't." "[antennae warble]" " I am but a humble idea man." "Truly, it was susan's ginormic bum" "That saved the planet." " You are not writing that in the report."