"(? "Catch a Falling Star" by Block)" "(woman) You know how some movies have a dream sequence, only they don't tell you it's a dream?" "This is so not a dream." "It wasn't supposed to be like this." "I was just trying to do my job, and then things happened." "My life happened." "And now I'm here." "Trust me, I'm not the kind of girl who does things like this." "Two months ago, you couldn't have picked me out of a crowd." "Hi." "call me." "Told you. I'm over there." "I was the youngest copy editor at the "Chicago Sun-Times"." " Josie." " hello." " "Theatre"?" " Standard American calls for E-R." "Standard British, R-E." "So, unless you're a pompous American, I would go with E-R." "I had my own office, unlimited stationery supplies and a dedicated assistant." "How about this awesome new phrase, "Power is powerful." total T-shirt, right?" "Amazing." "What?" " Can I get my messages?" " Yeah." "Hey, seriously, last time I saw you, did I Iook fat?" "OK, you hesitated." "No, it's case-cIosed." "Excuse me, Merkin, there aren't any index cards, so I can't do my notes..." "Hey, hey, hey, Merkin ain'tjerkin'." "He's workin'." "OK?" "Take that to the bank." "It's power, baby." "Yeah, my boss." "I'm just a little tense." "This office is not feng shui." "AII the desks are facing, Iike, evil, you know?" "Do you think I should bleach my teeth?" "Some sunshine around the mouth?" "Or maybe I should just laser my gums." "Josie!" "Guess who I did it with last night." " Roger from Op-Ed?" " Ah!" "Who told you?" "You said yesterday:" ""I have a date with Roger from Op-Ed tonight, and I'm gonna do it with him."" "SeptupIet story." "I need it by five." "hopefully, the copy's not a mess." ""It's hoped that it's not a mess." "hopefully" means "with hope"." "You have it defining the copy, and I'm pretty sure the copy doesn't have feelings." "Hm." " So, Anita, you and Roger in Op-Ed." " Oh, man, who told you?" " Roger." " really?" "Don't make me send you another memo about my policy on interoffice dating." "It's intra-office dating." "And they're not dating." "They're having sex." "Oh." "And what exactly is your policy, Augustus?" "That if you're not getting any, then no one can?" "Hm." " How many times have I fired her?" " Five or six." "Eight." "Gus, did you get those story ideas that I Ieft on your desk?" " Morning, Mr Strauss." " The blind foster-home mother." " That was good." "I got Cahoon on it." " Oh, yeah, Cahoon." "He's good." "geiler, we've been through this." "You're a great copy editor." "Maybe my best copy editor." "You're not a reporter." "You've used five of my ideas." "Gus, please." "Everyone thinks he can write, but ajournaIist gets in there, where the bombs are falling." "He's aggressive." "He grabs the bull by the balls." "You don't think I can grab a bull's balls?" "You don't want a reporter's life." "Trust me." "They're very messy." "And you're all about order and control and getting me my copy by five." "I can be out of control." "Copy by five!" "Josie, maybe Gus has a point." "It's not gonna kill you to relax and have some fun." "Hey, Roger's got this friend, marshall, in editing." "Maybe we could all go on a double date." " marshall, "the Duke"?" " I swear to God, Josie, come on." "tell me, when is the Iast time you went on a real date?" "I'm concentrating on my career now." "Do you own any coloured underwear?" "Stripes or anything?" "The right guy's out there." "I'm just not gonna go kiss a whole bunch of losers to get to him." "Yeah, but sometimes kissing the losers can be a really fun diversion." "Mm-hm!" "When I finally get kissed, I'II know." "If you've never kissed a guy, we have bigger problems than underwear." "I've kissed a guy." "I've kissed guys." "I just... haven't felt that thing." ""That thing"?" "Is that what you kids are calling it these days?" "That thing." "That moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy." "And the only thing in focus is you and this person." "And you realise that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life." "And for one moment you get this amazing gift." "And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry... cos you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it'II go away, all at the same time." "Damn, girl." "You are a writer." "(? "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon)" "OK, I'm finished." "What do you guys think?" "Where do you think it should go?" "In the bedroom?" "That's exactly what I was thinking." "Perfect." "The meeting just began." "Let me start by saying" "I was very impressed with that investigative piece that Dutton did on pesticides in our supermarkets." "But since the Trib did a piece on the same subject, only better, you're fired." "Huh?" "Dutton, did you hear me?" "You're fired." "Out." "close your cubicle." "Bye-bye, Dutton." "hello, everybody else still working here." "Let's celebrate by doing another undercover feature!" "Now, you know that my inspiration for these stories comes, of course, from my personal life." "I mean, who would have thought that my foray into the hair plugs would have resulted in last month's cover story?" ""Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow." A great story." "Last night I'm sitting home with my family, having dinner..." " (Anita whispering) Roger." " ..and my younger boy starts to choke!" "Then I realised my son was allergic to peanuts." "I said to myself:" ""holy shit!" "I don't even know my own kids."" ""How much do we know about these high-schooI kids?" "What are they thinking?"" "And then it hit me." "Boom!" ""My Semester in High school."" "You." "What's your name?" "J-J-Josie." " José?" " Josie geiler." "Josie geiler, you enrol Friday!" "Have fun!" "The meeting just ended." "Josie." "Josie!" "..20-minute handstand." "Freaked the yogi right out." "Excuse me." "Josie..." "Uh..." "It's really happening!" ""My first undercover feature, by Josie geiler"!" "Josie, maybe you should turn it down." "Why?" "You don't think I can do it?" "No!" "It's just, this is a Iot of pressure for your first piece." "This is not a haIf-a-page article." "This is a major undercover piece." "Look what Rigfortjust did to Dutton, and he's his cousin." "Don't worry." "I'm gonna straighten this all out." " You guys don't think I can do this?" " We're not saying that." "When you wanted to seduce the mailroom guy, and you thought you couldn't learn Spanish, who quizzed you on your verbs?" "Senorita Josie." "Gus, when you wanted to Iearn how to knit, who showed you how to work the needles?" " You did." " You knit?" "Yeah." "So this is my chance." "I'm not holding yourjob for you, geiler." " Thank you!" " OK..." "Don't make me give you my memo on interoffice hugging." "Now comes the hard part." "Oh, my gosh." "You get to be 17 again." "Wow." "OK, what's the first thing you're gonna need?" "You want Bambi?" "No way." " Rob, please." " Why don't you just borrow Mom's car?" "I can't use a minivan." "I need a cheap car." "A vintage classic." "It's just for a couple of months." "A couple of months is like ten years in Bambi life." "It's so weird that you name your cars." "Why?" "Guys name their penises." "OK..." "You can have my Buick LeSabre and name it anything you want." "really?" " LeSabre." " Nah, I don't think so." " fully loaded." " Maybe." " Wow, are those shorts or a skirt?" " They're gaucho pants." "I got them on sale." "aloha." "welcome!" "Every customer gets a free lei." " relax, Monty." "It's just my sister." " aloha, my ass." "Shake it easy, buddy." "Have you talked to the admissions lady from Lakeshore Community college yet?" "No." "But you could start before next semester, talk to her about a baseball scholarship." "It's too late, Josie, you know?" "I'm not going to college." "I'm not playing baseball any more." "This is my Iife." "This is a luau that sells packing material." "You had such a shot at playing college ball." "You let one case of mono stop you." "Don't you want to move out of Mom and Dad's?" "Pay your own bills?" "Why?" "So I can be as happy as you?" "I am happy." "Besides, you are looking at the newest undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun-Times." "I am Josie geiler, high-schooI student, senior class 1999." "Uh-uh." " You're kidding, right?" " What?" " Josie, do you remember high school?" " It was a Iong time ago." "Do you remember what they called you in high school?" "..Grossie!" "Josie Grossie!" "Josie Grossie!" "Josie..." "Josie Grossie." "I know." "I made it up." "I didn't know it was gonna catch on like it did." "Oh, Josie, what's the matter?" "You look nauseous." "Nauseated." "I Iook nauseated." "(toilet flushes)" "(? "She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper)" "(laughter)" "Hi, billy." "I noticed that you weren't in math class today, so, um, I decided to take some notes for you." "(Billy continues laughing)" "This is a very bad idea." "(? "Seventeen" by Jimmy Eat World)" "(? "Suburban Life" by Kottonmouth Kings)" "Hey, feeling good." ""My name is Josie." "I'm from Scranton, pennsylvania, the Keystone State."" "hold it." "Where are you going?" "To high school, because I'm a high-schooI student." "I'm here with my fellow students." "Hey, guys." "Hi." "Beeper, appears legitimate." "Computer organiser." "Recording device." " (Josie) I can grab bulls'balls." " Appears legitimate." "This is a projectile launcher." "That's a weapon." "(bell rings)" "class, today we have the pleasure of exploring the pantheistic culture of India." "India..." "Hi, hello." "Willkommen!" "Entrez, entrez." "I'm sorry I'm late." "well, I'm sorry I forgot to take my hot flash medication today." "please sit." "Josie, right." "Mi casa es su casa." "That is so sad." "I know." "Five chickens had to die just so she could look stupid." "Josie, in my classroom, tardiness is unacceptable." " I'm sorry." " Not as sorry as I am." "OIé!" "Ten minutes in that, you'II never be late again." "So let's hear something about you." "Stand up." "Stand up." "My name is Josie geiler." "I'm a high-schooI student." "I'm from... (? "(I Just) Died ln Your Arms" by Cutting Crew)" "billy?" "Excuse me?" "You live in "billy"?" "B-BaIi." "Uh, BiIIy-BaIi." "Um, it's a suburb of ball proper." "ball?" "The island nation of ball." "Fascinating." "What did your family do there?" "Um, we were sheep... sheep farmers." "My family raised sheep." "(laughter)" "Note to self: research ball." "kill Anita for picking out this outfit." "Find and destroy sombrero." "(? "Cool Magnet" by Local H)" " We sit here." " Yeah." "I'm sorry." "I didn't know they were assigned." "They're not." "Morning, everyone." "(girl) Morning." "I don't think we've met." "I'm Sam..." "CouIson." "The school has a thing about letting you guys call me Sam." "I'm Josie." "But I'm pretty sure the school would be OK with you calling me that." "welcome to Shakespeare's As You Like lt." " As You Like lt..." " We can share." " ..is an example of Shakespearean..." " Thank you." "..pastoral comedy." "Now, does anyone know what that means?" "Yeah, that's what they do to milk." "No, Sera, that's "pasteurise"." "But it's close." "Parakeet?" "OK, anyone else?" " Josie." " "pastoral" means set in the country, originally seen in the Eclogues of VirgiI." "It's from the Latin "pascere", "to graze"." "(bleats like sheep)" "(laughter)" "Are you sure you're 17?" "Yes." "I'm 17." "I'm 17." "Of course." "(? "Smash" by the Murmurs)" "Excuse me." "What's in the coleslaw?" "Thank you." "Leave." "Kirsten, that bran muffin has, Iike, 75 grams of fat." " Nah-uh." " Did I tell you that Lisa has haemorrhoids?" " Shot right up." " Hi." " Hi, Kristen." " It's Kirsten." "Oh." "OK." "Oh!" "well, that'II teach me to wear white jeans after Labor Day." "I don't think you're supposed to wear white jeans after 1983." "Right." "Right, right." "OK, so, Iike, what are you guys' hopes and dreams?" "Any interests?" "Hi." "I'm Guy." "Hi." "Yes, you are a guy." "Quite a guy." "Oh, my." "That rhymes." "Yikes." "Bikes!" "Are you in special ed?" "I mean, are you?" " I can't believe he just said that." " He just said that." "I'm just gonna go." " Don't slip, honey." " Off the chart." " How old am I?" " Oh, approximately 6,350 days old." "Now, that's subject for adjustment for month of birth." "OK, OK, thank you." "(? "Girls Move Their Butts" by Grandmaster Slice)" "hustle, hustle!" "Come on, girls!" "geiler, move it!" "Pick up your feet!" "Come on!" "A little more commitment, geiler!" "Move it!" "Come on!" "What is..." " Must... have... water." " What do I Iook like?" "A waitress?" "Now complete these sprints." "If you don't, you faiI." "And if you faiI gym, you're never getting into college." "You guys are still telling that lie?" " That does it, geiler." "Drop, give me 20." " No... (groans)" "Don't worry, Rob." "I put premium gasoline in her." "Josie, I told you Bambi's a cheap, regular girl." " Wait a second." " What?" " I'II call you later." " Josie..." "Don't hang up!" "They do it to all the new kids." "Who's "they"?" "Guy Perkins and his amazing Iemmings." "They push your car out of its space, hide it and watch while you look for it." " I'm AIdys." " I'm Josie." "AIdys." "That's an interesting name." "When it's not yours." "My mom was going through her HarIequin Romance phase." "tell me about it." "Try being named after a guitar-pIaying pussycat." "Never mind." "would you Iike to walk to Na-Na's and get something to eat?" "Yeah." "That would be really nice." "So, tell me, what are your hopes and your dreams?" "What do you wanna be?" " Thank you." " Thank you." "I wanna be a professor of medieval literature." "I wanna be a novelist." "I wanna be a weekend fIautist, a potter, a painter." "I wanna be an architect and I wanna go to Northwestern." " I went there!" " For what?" "Um... yes, once." "To use the bathroom." "Um... they had a really nice facility." "(? "Uncle Bill's Ride" by Mister Jones)" "(Josie) Oh, my God." "(mobile phone ringing)" "hello?" "What the hell kind of story are you pitching?" " It's my dad." "He worries." " Yeah, mine too." "Hi, Dad." "I miss you, too." "You are one sick puppy, geiler." " It's an exposé on cafeteria food." " Let me guess." ""The terrible Truth About CoIesIaw."" "The bulk of it will be about the pimento loaf." "geiler, you wanna be a reporter?" "Take a look at what sells: sex scandals, bribery, people jumping off buildings." "So unless a kid killed himself cos he was being paid to have sex with the school mascot in a vat of coleslaw, you got nothing." "Call me when you do." "They love to disconnect the battery, too." " Here." " Thanks." "Just so that you know, I think they recalled these cars in 1974." "Yeah, thanks." " Sure, no problem." "Josie?" " Yeah?" "I was wondering, how are you at calculus?" " I'm good." " would you Iike to join the Denominators?" "We have these fun pizza study groups and go to these aII-county meets." "And I don't wanna sound like the Godfather, but we could offer you a certain amount of protection, if you know what I mean." "That sounds great." "(? "Three ls a Magic Number" by Blind Melon)" "(dings bell)" ""AII the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players."" "Does anyone know what Shakespeare meant by that?" "Anyone?" "It's about disguise, about playing a part." "And that's the theme of As You Like lt." "Now, does anyone know where we can see this?" "RosaIind disguises herself as a man, and then escapes into the forest." "Right." "When she's in costume, she can finally express her love for orlando." "Shakespeare's point is that when we're in disguise, we feel freer." "We do things we wouldn't do in ordinary life." "Brett, what happens when you go out on the football field in uniform?" "We kick ass!" "You yell, you hit people." "You touch other guys' butts." "It's OK, cos you're in uniform." "See, disguise changes all the rules." "tell you a story." "My first season of peewee hockey..." "well, honestly, I was terrible." "I couldn't skate." "I was afraid to take a hit." "And my dad one day bought me this brand-new helmet, signed by Gordie Howe." "Come on, guys." "Gordie Howe!" "OK, he was like the Tiger Woods of hockey." "Oh." "AII right." "Every time I put on this helmet, I feel invincible." "suddenly, I skate harder." "I check people left and right." "I even got thrown out of a game once for fighting." "The point here is that disguise can be liberating, can get you to do things that you never thought possible." "And for RosaIind, her male costume opens the possibilities for the great love of her life." "Josie, why don't you read act five, scene two, RosaIind's speech?" ""No sooner they met, but they looked." ""No sooner they looked, but they loved." ""No sooner loved, but they sighed." ""Does he notice me?" ""Does he hear my heart screaming his name?" "(laughter)" ""Sometimes it's so loud I think that the gods can hear my pain." ""His voice is so mellifluous." ""If I couId getjust one kiss."" "(? "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar)" "What have you wanted for, Iike, ever, but never, ever thought would happen?" "I'm the most popular girl in school and billy Prince is asking me to the prom." " Yes." " What?" "billy Prince is asking you to the prom." "Why?" "I don't know." "The poem." "I knew he'd Iike the poem!" "billy Prince is asking me to the prom?" "That's what I'm saying." "Oh, my God!" "I'm..." "I'm actually speechless!" "I have no words!" "That's never happened to me!" "Words are my Iife!" "(bell rings)" "Just a reminder, your papers are due next week." "(over PA) This is Sydney, student body president." "No going to the library." "There's an asbestos problem." "Can I get into my locker?" "(over PA) Now the prom." "Voting on the prom theme is complete, and the theme is... "the Millennium"!" " The prom is going to be rufus." " What's "rufus"?" "It's my new, cool, hip word." "Spread it around like wildfire." "(group) Rufus!" "What is it with this school and prom?" "South glen South competes every year for best prom." "(British accent) The theme is everything, so whatever we pick has to be totally unique." "?" "There's a land that I see" "?" "Where the children are free" "?" "Come with me, take my hand" "?" "And we'II live" "?" "In a land where the river runs free" "?" "In a land to a shining sea" "?" "And we'II be free to be you and me" " (Josie) What's that?" " (Aldys) The old drive-in." "The Court." "It's just a continuous party for Guy's group." "Hey." "AIpo, the dog park is that way." " Go." " Last I checked, this was a free country." "You're not seriously trying to hang out at the Court." "Cheap wine coolers and a fire in a trash can." "Where do I sign up?" "Why don't you go home, fickle around on your calculator, whatever you do, and figure out how many lifetimes it's gonna take you to get cool, OK?" "Have you ever wanted to go to the Court?" "Are you kidding, Josie?" "It's lame." "AII they do is stand around and get drunk." "It's lame." "Yeah, it seems lame." "Yeah." "It's very lame." "You said that." "The Court?" "Josie, I am appalled." "Geez, I know." "I mean, who'd have known that these kids..." "No!" "I am appalled because I have a reporter in there undercover, for three weeks, and I had to read about this in the Trib." "You're right." "No, fold..." ""17-year-oId Kristin Davis says" "'Yeah, everyone who's anyone is at the Court on Saturday night."'" "She's right." "I have learned that it is a popular place for the kids to go." "This is where the stories are." "You will become friends with these people." "You will party with them." "You'II rave with them." "You'II getjiggy with them." "When they go to the prom, you'II be in the same damn Iimo!" "Gus, listen." "The popular kids and I..." "Do you even know these kids?" "They hid my car." "Get to know them, very well!" "Yourjob, and my job, depends on it!" "Um, by the way, it's "depend" because there's no S. Your subject is plural." "Out!" "Come on!" "Asses and elbows!" "The news doesn't sleep, you know!" "(announcer) A high hopper to third base, but..." "Yeah, baby!" "Mm!" "Whoo!" "Rob!" "You're making a mess." "Can you do this at Mom and Dad's?" "No, it's their turn to do the franklin Mint potluck dinner." "But I made a pizza." "I can't do it." "What?" "Damn!" "These are high-schooI girls?" "We got some underage hotties on our hands here." "Gus wants me to be friends with them, the popular kids." " It's impossible." " Why?" "You know what it was like for me in high school." "AII I wanted was to be accepted." "And they just tortured me." "I can't go back to South glen South." "You're at South glen South?" "They have a killer baseball team." "Focus, please." "OK, OK." "You're an adult now, Josie." "You're successful." "You graduated at the top of your class." "You work for a newspaper." "You wash your hair now." "You're not Josie Grossie any more." "Don't you know how much I just wanted to be you in high school?" "Just for one day to know what it was like to be popular." "It's not that hard, Josie." "AII you need is the right person, one person to think you're cool, and you're in." " Everyone will be too scared to question it." " Is that true?" "Yeah, it's a IittIe-known fact." "Don't you want to show 'em?" "Gus, billy Prince, yourself." "Don't you want to show 'em the cool kids don't freak you out any more?" "That you can go in there and be friends with them and get your story?" "Yes, desperately." "plus, if you quit now, you're no better than me." " Better than I." " That's the spirit." "So let's hear it." ""I'm not Josie Grossie any more."" "I'm not Josie Grossie any more." "That's it." "Now scream it." "I'm not Josie Grossie any more!" "That's good." "(? "Here We Go" by Stakka Bo)" "Josie the Pussycat." "George?" "What are you doing here?" "Ah." "Get in the van." "Go, go." "welcome to the love shack." " AII right." " George, what's going on?" "A little surveillance." " What are you doing?" " Hidden camera." " Wings?" " Yeah." "That's great, but I really should talk to Gus about this first." "(over speaker) geiler, stop being a pain in the ass." "Gus?" "No, it's the great and powerful Oz." "You're in way over your head." "Here's how it's gonna work." "I review the tapes, I find your story." "AII right." "Battery, transmitter." "plug it in." " Man." " There we go." "Good luck to you." " I don't believe this." "George?" " Hm?" "How are you so cool?" "It's hard work." "Herbs, berries." "I'II be watching you." "AII right, Iet's get this party started." "Yeah." "Come on, picture, come on." "There." "Oh..." "There." "Ooh, they didn't look that good when I went to high school." "Kirsten, Kristin, Gibby!" "What's up, girlfriends?" "Ooh." " l'm OK." " That's gonna leave a mark." ""And so it is RosaIind in disguise who is best able to see through the disguises of others."" ""To say to Phoebe 'Mistress, know thyself."'" ""To look at love from every angle."" ""And to realise, finally, that she is in love with orlando."" ""To free both hearts, not in judgment but in equality."" "(Mr Coulson) That's really well written." "Showtime's over." "Come on, move it." "Back to work." "Gus, have you ever been in love?" " Leave." " Oh, give it up, Gus." "Come on." "I'm just making conversation." "Love..." "Who knows what that is?" "deadlines, circulation... that I understand." "You know, you should go out every now and then." "If you put on a couple of new ties, girls would be all over you." " (chuckles) Anita?" " What?" "Leave me alone." "I've got enough work here to last me all night." "I don't have anything to do tonight, so if you would Iike some help, I would love to help you." "No Roger from Op-Ed?" "Nope." "Excuse me, do you guys think that we could work out some kind of schedule, and I couId work around it?" "Hey." "Where's your sweatshirt?" "Oh, I must have forgotten it." "I have an extra in my locker." "I'II go get it." "So, I'II see you tonight, 7.30, Na-Na's, right?" " OK, right, 7.30." " Yeah." " (British accent) I'm late for lab." " OzomatIi?" "Oh, yes." "This band is so good." "Have you heard this band play?" " I'II get my mom's car and I'II drive." " This is gonna be rufaIicious!" "No, Jason, it's not a stick of gum." "It's "rufus". "Rufus."" "(? "Cumbia de los Muertos" by Ozomatli)" " You drinking tonight?" " Uh, no." "I'm not 21." "I'm 17, and I still attend high school." "Two of you?" " Josie!" "Josie." " Hi." "Out on a school night?" "The bathroom was disgusting." " I'd Iike you to meet Lara." " His girlfriend." "She's visiting from New York." "Josie's one of my students." " How are you?" " What?" "Hi, there!" "I'm sorry." "I can't even think in here." "No offence." "I know you love this." "I just hope you get it all out of your system before you move to New York." "My firm has season tickets to the Met." "Oh, well, I Iove baseball!" "(laughs)" "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, too." "We are tomorrow." "hello, I'm tomorrow." "Cos when we get the money and the power, the women come to me." "Do what I'm doin'." "You know, if you ain't moving', no movement." "Write that down." "welcome to my little humble abode, you know?" "Let me just handle my business." "Wait a minute." "Got something funky." "(? "Cumbia de los Muertos" by Ozomatli)" "That was great, you guys." "That was great." "(? "Cut Chemist Suite" by Ozomatli)" "Excuse me?" "Can I sit there?" "Yeah." "We accept all people." "We are all about the love." " Come on and have a seat." " Thank you so much." " How are you?" " Very well." "How are you?" "I'm feeling good." "I feel real good." "We have a special cake for you." "Have some cake." "It's a special cake, a ganja cake." "It has vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin T, H and C. lt's good for you." "Eat it up." "What?" "Is that...?" "No, girl, put it back." "Just say no." " Mm!" " Good, huh?" "That is delicious." "You know, I Iove chocolate." "She gonna get tore off the floor!" "Firecracker." "He was a firecracker!" "Firecracker." "Man, I don't love her." "Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" "I know this woman." "She's my superior." "What is that?" "(Ozomatli member) Let me hear you say "yeah"!" "I'm telling you, Rob, I think I really did it." "I think I'm totally in!" "I was so cool!" "You know what's a weird word? "Fork."" "Oh!" "Did I tell you about the new friends I made?" "I made friends with a whole table of Rastafari." "Notjust one." "A whole table!" "Oh, my God." "Someone ate my entire pie." "I don't know how that happened." "(snoring)" "(? "Me, myself and I" by De La Soul)" "Hi, Guy!" "Guys, Guy's guys!" "Hey, loser." " Oh, my God." " Loser!" "What is going on up here?" "Everybody goin' nuts?" "Loser!" "Loser." "AII right, all right, look up, girl." "Jo-Jo, look up." ""Loser." See? "Loser." Look!" "hello?" "Yes!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Whoa, calm down." "Just wash it off." "We're all cool." "What are you doin'?" "(vomits)" "I see you had Wheaties for breakfast." "(Josie vomits)" "BIeuch." "It's like the AII-HumiIiation Network." "(toilet flushes)" "(? "Like a Prayer" by Madonna)" "(phone rings)" "hello?" "Oh, hi, billy." "OK, I'II be out in ajiffer." " Have fun." " OK, thanks." "Bye-bye!" "Hi, billy!" "Write a poem about this, geek!" "(Mom) Josie?" "Is that you, honey?" "(Rob) Josie, get up." "Josie, are you OK?" "Josie." "Are you crazy?" "What are you doing here?" "I just registered." "Check it out." "Manufactured at the Tiki Post." " Can you do that?" " I just did." "Jose, this is it." "This is my ninth inning." "The game isn't over." "I just thought it was." "See, if I get on the South glen baseball team, the right scout sees me," "I'm in the minors." "It's game time!" "But you're 23 years old." "Yeah, with the reading comprehension of a 15-year-oId." "plus, I'm popular." "You wanna be popular." "I recognise a cry for help when I see one." " Hear one." " Whatever." "That is so like you." "You know, you can'tjust come in here and be popular in just one day." "Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob!" "I'm the coleslaw king of the world!" "Dude, you rock, man." "He is so hot." " Hi." " Hey." "I'm Tracy." "I'm 16." "I'm a gymnast." " I don't have a boyfriend." " cool." "Josie?" "Where were you last night?" "I was really worried." " What?" " You know, last night at 7.30?" "Na-Na's?" "I kept calling you, but I just got your machine." "I don't even know your parents' line." "I was really worried." "I'm sorry." "I must have forgot." "Maybe you should forget about sitting with us, too." "Let's make some money for the prom!" "(Brett) Mr CouIson!" "Oh!" "(? "Standing By" by Willis)" "Watch your step." " Where's your partner?" " I don't have one." "lonely ride in bucket five!" "single!" " (Josie) Do you have to yell it like that?" " Sure, I do." "Thank you." "Watch your step." "Is this seat taken?" "Thank you." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "Whoa!" " (Mr Coulson) Whoa." " Are you scared?" "Uh, well, I'II tell you something here." "I hope this doesn't undermine my position as an authority figure, but..." "I'm a little afraid of heights." "You're afraid of the Ferris wheel?" "actually, it's the plunging headfirst into the crowd part that kind of gets me." "I bet if you had your Gordie Howe helmet on you'd feel better." " Hey, you remember that story?" " I remember everything you say... in your classroom." "If the bucket's a-rocking, don't come a-kn-kn-knocking!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" " Boys." " I know." "(youth) Mr CouIson rocks my world!" "I'd Iike to tell you that we all grow out of it." "It's a lie." "Some of us will always be rattling cages." "Why do you do that?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "What's scary is that when you get older, it gets more confusing." "I mean, you know Lara, my girlfriend you met at the club?" "We've been going out for five years, and now she wants me to move to New York." "And, you know, I mean, I should do it." "You know, make the commitment and grow up." "I know we have our differences." "I shouldn't be talking about this stuff with you." "I'm sorry." "It's nice to have someone to talk to." "Yeah, same here." "When you're my age, guys will be lined up around the block for you." "You have to say that cos you're my teacher." "actually, I shouldn't say that because I'm your teacher." "Oh." " Josie geiler?" "No way." " (Rob) Yeah." "She dated the drummer from the Big Bad Voodoo Daddys?" "I've always wanted to be a drummer." "always." "And then she dumped him for the drummer..." "AII right, that's it." "Just water and Ex-Lax till prom." "It's all about hydration." "Did you guys know that Josie's dad invented Ex-Lax?" "She's, Iike, the heiress to the Ex-Lax fortune." " Shut up." " No, it's true." "She spends all of her extra time with her family on a yacht in the South of France." "Wow." "(cheering)" "Quick hands, quick hands." "Here we go." "Who's a winner?" "Focus." "Good work, good work." "Easy, easy." "Good work." "Thanks for showing me that new grip." "It totally changed my swing, man." " No problem." " Hey, what's goin' on?" "You guys know Josie geiler?" " I know her." " You mean Loser?" "Nah, man, she's cool." "I used to go out with her, man." " What?" " She dumped me." "We're still good friends." "really?" "Hey, wait." "Like, how good?" " Good friends." " Good good?" "She is amazing." "AII right, guys." "As you've probably noticed, this certainly isn't english." "Um... we've combined a few classes today here for the seminar." "hopefully, the speaker will be here any minute now." " Hi." " Hey!" "Oh, hi." "Uh... you're here for the sex talk?" "well..." "I Iike a man who gets right to the point." " Are you Pam?" " If you say so." "OK." "This is Pam Kitterman." "She's leading us in our sex discussion." " What?" "What?" " Yes." "Come on." "No, I'm..." "What?" "I am not..." "Oh, I am." "Right, that's correct." "Hi, I'm Pa..." "I'm Pam." "Hi." "Um, sex..." "well, yes, sex..." "Um, w-w-w-what do you say, you know?" "Uh... you Iike a guy, you do it with him." "Sometimes he calls, sometimes he doesn't." "Whoo!" "(nervous chuckle)" "Oh." "Hi." " What are you doing here?" " I came by to say hello." "Oh, my God, your teacher is such a fox!" "He's coming back." "Um, why don't we talk about that later?" "And I just wanna say that the burning sensation is totally normal." "Ew!" "Sex is really fun." "When you're old enough, which none of you are." "I should know." "Cos when you lose it to some guy named Junior with bad breath in the back of a van, you're gonna wish you'd listened to your mom when she said" ""Nobody will buy the ice-cream truck when you're handing' out the popsicles for free."" "Any questions?" "Oh, I know it's hard." "I mean, difficult." "difficult." "But safe sex is really important." "OK, so just imagine that the bananas are the real thing." "In a land called Every Man's Fantasy." "God, I can't do this." "(Josie) Maybe because we're not supposed to be having sex with bananas." "Do you really think she hooked up with Rob?" " They're so different." " Sometimes opposites attract." "You know what, though?" "I feel like I'm really ready to do it." "You know, Iike, have sex for the first time." " It's a big deal." " I know." "Just make sure you've found the right person." "You know, AdeIie penguins, they spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin." "And when they meet them, they know." "And they spend the rest of their lives together." " But I'm not a penguin." " It's an analogy." "(girls chuckle)" "Excuse me." "I have to go die now." "(over PA) Hey, kids, Sydney here." "Bad news about the prom." "East Glen East is gonna do "Millennium", too." "What?" "Oh, my God." "(Mr Coulson) calm down." "calm down!" "calm down!" "Sit!" "Let's focus, all right?" "It's prom theme." "AII we need is a new idea." "Ooh!" "How about "Under the Sea"?" " (boy) Yeah, right." " It's been done." "How about "the '80s"?" "(class boos)" "What do you think we are?" "Amateurs?" "AII right." "AII right." "Josie." "That's not a theme." "Thank you." "No." "OK, Josie will have the answer." "How about "Meant for Each Other"?" "Famous couples throughout history." "absolutely." "absolutely!" " Oh, we love it." " That is so brilliant." "(? "Heaven Tonight" by Hole)" "(Josie and Sam laugh)" "Here, try these." "No, Gus, listen." "It is a great story." "They keep the tags on, and then they return the clothes after they've worn them." " (click/dial tone)" " Gus?" " Hi." " What's up?" "I was just looking at this cardigan." " Isn't it cool?" " Oh, yes." "Oh, my God." "Like, there goes another lemming." "Good play!" "Good play!" "Go, sexy boy!" " You guys, victory dance." " Oh, yeah." "(Rob) Rager party, tonight at my house, baby." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Great play, Rob." "You might be just what South glen needs to win State this year." " will I play in the championship game?" " You'II start at shortstop." "I don't wanna put extra pressure on you, but some pro scouts will be there." " Thanks, Coach Romano." " You're welcome." "Just glad to be part of a team again." "Josie, you have totally transitioned." "Transitioned?" " Yeah, you crossed over." " Into our group." "It's hard." "people go through high school trying to transition and never make it." "Wannabes." "Guy is totally crunching on you." "Do I wanna be crunched?" " By Guy?" " Oh, yeah." "(? "Peppy Rock" by BTK)" " Josie!" " Hi." " "SpIendiferous"?" " totally!" "I'm not going to her again." "She calls that a pedicure?" "She wants me." " (sobbing) - (Rigfort) Bye." "Out." "Night." "Bye." "Miss haskell is gone and forgotten." "Next: sack races at the company picnic, yes or no?" "Sorry I'm late." " I Iove that top." " Thank you." " So cute." " It's all about horseshoes." "Excuse me, I'm trying to get to a tennis game." "What is the status of your story?" "Oh, great." "totally rufus." " Is there something I couId see?" " (mouths) Rufus?" "I have some notes." "I don't need your notes." "I need your story." "Though I must speak for all of us here." "I have seen your tapes." "compelling stuff." "But I want the story in two weeks." "Two weeks, Miss geiler." "Or I'II rufus you right outta here." "I think you're gonna be a great reporter." "But if you aren't, you and Gus are fired." "Next order of business:" "marketing department, yes or no?" "(? "Never You Mind" by Semisonic)" "Party's at Rob's!" "Josie." "hello, you guys." " Hi." " I'm Rob's prom date." " really?" " Yeah." "Oh, my God." "Wow!" "Yeah." "Yeah, she's 16 years old, Rob." "I know, and a gymnast." "It's totally illegal, and I'II tell you why." "The following reasons are..." " Hi." " Hi." "Hey, dude." "I gotta talk to you." "please come here." "I'II see you around the cellblock, Mrs Robinson." "Hey, Rob." "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" " ball player." " No, I know, but, I mean, what if you don't make it?" "I mean, you don't wanna be working at the mail place for the rest of your life." "It's OK for an after-schooI job and all, but "Hi, I'm Rob, and I run the Tiki Post"?" "totally lame!" "What is this?" "Like a Iemon-meringue pie colour or something?" "It's... ugh." "You know what?" "Maybe we should go into another room." "I've checked every one of these rooms." "There's, I mean, serious couples in there." "This is fine." "This is fine." "Someone's gettin' hooked up!" "Yeah, baby!" "(Guy chuckles)" "Wow." "Rob's sister is a loser." "Yeah." "Um... please come here." "I need to talk to you about something." " It's a comfy bed." " OK." "feel it." "It's nice." "It's nice." "Uh..." "I know that you've probably already heard that I want to ask you out to prom." "But there's something different about asking in person." "I know that we didn't hit it off in the beginning." "And I really..." "Yes." "Yes." "That's rufus." "Uh... where do I pick you up?" "How do we arrange this?" "What do I do?" "We can meet here at Rob's, and we can all share a limousine together." "Thank you." "Have a good evening." "And thank you." "(? "At My Most Beautiful" by REM)" " Hey, Jose." "Hey, Rob." " Lookin' good, guys." "Josie, Robster, rufus kegger." "Man, you were wasted." "This is so unbelievable." "I've waited my whole life to fit in, and I finally feel like I do." "You do." "(Gibby) Hey, Rob." "Hey, Josie, who did Archie date..." "Betty or Veronica?" " Both." " See?" " I always liked Betty better." " really?" "Yeah, Betty was so fun and spunky." "I mean, Veronica had the great legs." "She was too moody." "Very high-maintenance." "You can't refuse to sell me a ticket to prom." "Listen, AIpo." "We can do whatever we want to." "Like, I get it." "You guys don't know how to count change." "Oh, my God." "I'II make it easy." "Here's the money." "I'm taking the ticket." "Oh, my God." "She was mocking us." "Did you see that?" " We gotta make her dog food." " She is going down." "There." "Oh." "I got you a meeting with the admissions guy from Dartmouth." "Dartmouth?" "But I wasn't gonna go to college." "No, I pulled some strings, and I got him to look at your writing, and he agreed to meet with you." "You believe in me that much?" "Of course I do, Josie." "You owe it to yourself, to your writing, to go to college." "You are a great writer." "You just have to find your story." " He is your story." " You're crazy." "No!" "No." "No." "What do you mean, no?" "It's got it all." "Sex, intrigue, immorality in the education system." " He's my teacher." " Yeah, that's the best part." ""Student-teacher relations: how close is too close?" We're gonna blow the lid off it!" "There's no lid." "There's nothing going on between Sa..." "Mr CouIson and me." "Everyone is in here every day, watching you two." "It's like The Young and the Restless." "Rigfort is salivating over it." " You pitched this to Rigfort?" " Josie, this isn't ajoke." "You heard Rigfort." "Both our asses are on the line." "Now, this is the story." "call me when you've got it." "(doorbell)" " Josie, you look so..." " Rufus?" "Yes, exactly." "Major rufus." "What are you supposed to be?" "Duh!" " Tom Cruise, Risky Business." " (laughs)" "That's nice." "Thank you for everything, Rob." "It's all really happening, and I know it's because of you." "My wallet." "Shit." "Where are you gonna put it?" "Come on, beautiful." "Let's go." " Hey, how you doin'?" " hello?" "If you don't hurry, we'II miss the whole thing." "We'II talk." "(? "Nowhere Slow" by Home Grown)" "Oh, my God." "You totally ripped off my malibu Barbie idea!" " Uh-uh." "I'm Disco Barbie." " And I'm Evening Gown Barbie." "(gasps) Josie, darling, you look rufus." "Who are you guys?" " Don't tell me." "You're medieval Barbie?" " Get over it." "We're RosaIind and orlando." "Shakespeare?" "Look, I get to have a sword." " Oh, my God, that is so awesome." " Rad!" "That is so rad." "(Rob) I want a sword." "(? "Bitter" by The Pietasters)" "(Rob) AII right, look at this place!" "(Josie) beautiful." "Come on, Iet's dance." "I'm Tom Cruise." "This is the most beautiful prom I've ever been to." "Work, Merk, work, Merk, work it." "Great." "What are you doing?" "Practising my surprised face for when they name prom court." "Oh, sorry, there's no room at this table." "It's just too bad for them." "Wait, I forgot." "A little surprise for you." " Did I miss the crowning?" " No, but I'm closing the pool." "Josie's odds are 3-1, and even money that that kid pokes himself with the sword." "Whoa!" " OK, maybe we should sit down." " OK." "OK." "Whoa." "Are you having fun yet?" " Uh, yeah." " Good." "definitely." " Guess what." " What?" "Gibby gave me champagne!" " That's nice." " Yeah." "Rob?" "I've been thinking." "And I think..." "I mean, I know you're the one." "Oh." "My penguin." "I want you to be my first." "Once the floor stops spinning, Iet's have sex." "You're gonna hurt yourself." "Put that down." "AII right." " tell you what, Tracy." " What?" "I'm flattered, but I say I'm gonna go get some more punch, then we'II go on the dance floor and boogie." " That's good." " (Rob) No!" "Uh-oh!" " help!" "I'm stuck." " (Sera) Brett!" "(group) The Denominators are here!" "Whoo!" "(group) Make way for the Denominators!" "You guys, what is the one thing that could ruin my senior prom?" "That you would trip on your Barbie heels and I'd be named prom queen." "Did I just say that out loud?" "Whoo!" "So, who are you supposed to be?" " Other than freaks?" " Yeah." "We're DNA." "double helix?" "But I guess you'd actually know that if you passed bio." "No, no, don't touch the hydrogen." "It's rented." "Yo, yo, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mr CouIson and Miss Knox!" "(cheers)" "OK, OK, enough." "Our 1999 prom court." "And the princesses are:" "Miss Kristin Davis..." "Miss Kirsten Leosis and Miss Gibby Zarefsky." "And the princes are:" "Mr Thomas SaIamey..." "Mr Jason Way... and Mr Rob..." "Mr Rob." " Mr Rob!" " (Miss Knox) Mr Rob." "That's me!" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "(Miss Knox) Next up, South glen's prom king:" "Guy Perkins." "And this year's prom queen..." "ladies and gentlemen... (? "Look Who's Perfect Now" by Transister)" "Josie geiler!" "Yeah!" "I knew you could do it, girl." "And as is custom, the king and the queen will now have their first dance." "(? "Erase/Rewind" by the Cardigans)" " I never made it to my prom." " really?" "I only made it to the parking lot." "tell me what you're thinking." "I was thinking about Shakespeare, how he described a night like this." ""Look how the floor of heaven Is thick inlaid with patines of bright gold."" "What are you thinking about?" "My sword." "Oh." "Josie, you rock my world." "You're, Iike, the most amazing girl that I've ever dated." "You're so fun to be with." "You're smart, you're... crazy." "You are..." "You rock my world." "You said that already." "Yeah." "Is this chocolate?" "OK." " Hey." " Hi." "Wow, you make a really beautiful prom queen." "really?" "Thanks." "So do you." "I always feel like kind of a goofball in these penguin suits, Iike I'm at my own wedding." "Do you... do you wanna...?" "OK." "hello." "AIdys, I figured that since it's prom, Iet's put all the shit behind us." "I would love nothing more than to dance with you." "(? "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" by the Smiths)" "AII right." "That's, of course, if it's OK with the rest of the double helix." "Yes?" "OK." "You know, it's funny." "Proms always make me a little sad." "They're so final, you know?" "Graduation, everyone scattering, moving on." "Is your girlfriend here?" "No." "No, I'm alone." "In fact, we broke up last week." "really?" "That's funny because, actually," ""prom" comes from "promenade", and you can't promenade alone, can you?" "You're amazing, Josie geiler." "Have you thought about Dartmouth any more?" "Yes." "And there's something that I wanna tell you." "No, no, no." "Not now, not now!" "There's something I wanna tell you, too." "No!" "No!" "I knew it!" "You are a loser!" "You ruined everything!" "You so do not deserve to be prom queen!" "Let me tell you something." "I don't care about being your stupid prom queen." "I'm 25 years old!" "I'm an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun-Times." "And I have been beating my brains out, trying to impress you people!" "Let me tell you something, Gibby, Kirsten, Kristin." "You will spend your lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important!" "Why her?" "Let me tell you something about this girl." "She is unbelievable." "I was new here, and she befriended me, no questions asked." "But you, you were only my friend after my brother Rob posed as a student and told you to like me." " Robby Rob?" " Ew." "AII of you people, there is a big world out there." "Bigger than prom, bigger than high school, and it won't matter if you were the prom queen or the quarterback of the football team or... the biggest nerd in school." "Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it." "Excuse me." "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Wow, that was just like Carrie." "I thought she was gonna kill us all." "AII right, you guys." "Go, Rams!" "AII right." "Can somebody take the AIpo girls outside and hose 'em off?" "South glen, class of 1999, are you ready to party?" "We lost the feed." "Gus is goin' nuts." "He's calling every five minutes." " Did you get the story?" " No." " tell me you got something on CouIson." " No!" "I'm just gonna go." "So... surprise." ""Surprise", you were doing a story on me?" "No, I couldn't." "I mean, "surprise", I was hoping..." "What?" "What?" "You were hoping what?" "That I'd be happy?" "Because suddenly I was allowed to be attracted to you?" " You were attracted to me?" " Goddamn it." "You set me up for a story." " No, I..." "I..." " Just drop the act." "OK?" "I mean, every word out of your mouth has been a complete lie." "I don't know you at all." "Look, if we could just spend some time together, you could get to know me again." "Wait, please don't walk away." "I just can't look at you the same way." "Rob." "Hey, Josie." "I came by to check on you." "I was worried about you." " really?" " No, not really." "Not really, Josie." "How could you do this to me?" "I helped you." "I got you everything you wanted." "And you repay me by blowing everything two days before the championship!" " I wasn't even thinking." " No, you weren't." "Did it occur to you that the only time I've been happy in the past five years is when I'm playing ball, when I'm part of a team?" "Josie, it's not even about playing." "I taught those guys things." "I helped 'em." "My life had meaning." " I..." " Just forget about it." "It's over." "Back to the Tiki Post." "totally lame." ""Josie geiler blows Her Cover."" "And we were scooped." "We've got nothing." "Zippo." "Josie, you totally and completely screwed both of us." "Maybe I couId talk to Rigfort." "tell him the whole story." "You know, I'II tell you a story, OK?" "It's about this shy copy editor who makes a total mockery of herself and her boss when she completely botches her first assignment as a reporter." "We are not screwed." "Yes, I made a mistake." "But we will have a story, OK?" "You will have an amazing story." "please." "Oh, please." "Oh, please." "(? "Closer to Myself" by Kendall Payne)" "Excuse me, gentlemen, I suggest you cover up what you don't want seen." "Thank you." " Coach Romano?" " Yeah?" "I'm Josie geiler from the Chicago Sun-Times." "I have a favour to ask you." "Do you know the sports guy, Jim Lakin?" "Sure, everybody tries to get Big Jim to come watch their games." "Why?" "What if I told you that I can guarantee you that Big Jim and every other reporter in the area would cover your game?" "I'd say you could have whatever you wanted, young lady." "Someone once told me that to write well, you have to write what you know." "This is what I know:" "I am 25 years old, and I have never really kissed a guy." "A geek to the core, most of my childhood was spent doing extra homework I requested from the teacher." "High school was more of the same." "Then, at 17, it seemed as if my luck was about to change." "The cutest guy asked me to the senior prom." "But it turned out he invited me as a cruel joke, and I have never fully recovered." "Yes, it is embarrassing to share this with the world." "But it would be hard to explain what I learned and how I learned it without sharing this humiliating history." "I received an assignment, my first as a reporter, to go back to high school and find out about kids today." "What I ended up finding was myself..." "and that high school hasn't changed." "There's still that one teacher who marches to her own drummer." "Those girls are still there, the ones that, even as you grow up, will remain the most beautiful girls you have ever seen close up." "The smart kids, who everyone else knew as the brains, but I just knew them as my soul mates, my teachers, my friends." "And there's still that one guy, with his mysterious confidence, who seems so perfect in every way." "The guy you get up and go to school for in the morning." "South Glen would not have been the same without him." "High school would not have been the same without him." "I would not have been the same without him." "I lived a lifetime of regret after my first high-school experience." "And now, after my second, my regrets are down to one." "A certain teacher was hurt on my path to self-discovery, and, although this article may serve as a step, it in no way makes up for what I did to him." "To this man, you know who you are:" "I am so sorry." "And I would like to add one more thing..." " (knock on door) Movers." " Hang on a second." "I think I am in love with you." "And so I propose this:" "as an ending to this article, and perhaps a beginning to the next chapter of my life, I, Josie Geller, will be at the state championship baseball game, where my friends, the South Glen Rams, are playing for the title." "I will stand on the pitcher's mound for five minutes, prior to the first pitch." "If this man accepts my apology, I ask him to come kiss me for my first real kiss." " Look over here!" " Josie!" "Josie!" " Thank you all for coming." " (Anita) Josie!" "Oh, my God." "There's so many people here." "They're behind you." "They feel like they know you." "It's romantic, and they wanna be a part of it." "I'm glad that you guys are." "Oh, Anita!" "Sweet Jesus, I had no idea there'd be this many TV crews here." "You held up your end of this bargain." "Now get out there and get him!" "(smacks)" "(crowd) Josie!" "Josie!" "Josie!" "Josie!" "Josie!" "Josie!" "Josie!" "Josie!" "We love you!" "Thank you." "May I have five minutes on the clock, please?" "Hi!" "Wieners!" "I got hot wieners." "Hi, Mr Rigfort." "Get in your own row!" "I got wieners here." " Give 'em to me." " Thank you, Gus." "Have a wiener." "I Iove this." "Sun-Times readers out here en masse, relating personally to one of our reporters." "It's amazing, isn't it?" "Eight, seven..." "That is so wrong." "Wait." "Mr CouIson!" "(cheering)" "(? "Don't Worry, Baby" by the Beach Boys)" " Yeah, Mr CouIson!" " Yeah!" "Sorry I'm late." "It took me forever to get here." "I know what you mean." "AII right." "AttagirI." "AII right, Iet's play ball, kids!" "Come on!" "(? "innocent Journey" by Sonichrome)" "(? "Until You Loved Me" by the Moffatts)" "Visiontext subtitles:" "Tram Nguyen ZeIniker" "ENGLISH SDH"