"Please, one more minute." "Please." "Just one more minute." "Oh, I'm sorry, but your time here is, up." "George, I am so proud of you..." "Mister Big City College Professor." "Goodbye Hatfield, hello Hollywood." "Well my little Clarabelle... you finally get to say goodbye to Paris... you guys we're moving on up." "Shucks, up a spooky hill." " To a creepy house." " Cool." "An electric train is heading south... the wind is blowing out of the north west... which way is the smoke blowing?" "Electric trains don't have smoke, Dad." "Yeah, but that creepy house does." "Way, cool." "And they say California real estate is expensive..." " this place was a steal." " I can see why." "You really got a great deal on this one, Dad." "Well, it could use a little work." "One person's trash is another person's treasure." "Treasure?" "This place needs an extreme whole make over." "More like a ex-scream home make over." "Scary." "Wicked, scary." "X plus I equals X." " No it doesn't." " Hey guys, look what I found." "A bug zapper." "No, that's not a bug zapper, it's a magnifying glass." "You're talking about coaxing solar power... through a convex lens onto a focal point." "Thanks, that's really useful information." "Not." "What's going on here?" "It's twenty two hundred, come on, hit the sack." "What were you guys doing in here in the dark, anyway?" "Nothing." "Ah, nothing." "Let's go." "Twenty two hundred..." "You kids should be so proud of yourselves..." "I can't wait for your father to get home... to see what we've done as a family unit." "Our big house is now a beautiful home." "Better Haunted Homes and Gardens, here we come." "Hey, who drank my drink?" "Don't look at me." "You drank it yourself." "I even heard you slurp and burp." "No, I didn't, I barely touched it." "Well, maybe it was a ghost that drank it." "It's the tickle monster." "Calling all troops, hit the deck, it's 0600... repeat, hit the deck, hit the deck." "Get downstairs for nourishment... transportation takes off at 0700 promptly... let's go, let's go, let's gooooo." "That means you too sleeping beauty... now move it, move it, move it." "Dad." "Another beautiful morning." "Mom, can't you ever make something normal?" "Is Martha Stewart normal?" "Isaac, it's 0659, you're going to miss the bus..." " move, move, move." " I'll make it." "Oh honey, wait." "Have a great first day at school." "They'll love you." "I know they do." "Speak for yourself." " Mom." " Success son, sweet success." "Hey, wait up." "Hey you, hey you, you must be new." "I'm Carlton, your driver." "Welcome to our crew." "Come on, got to get, got to get you to school." "Cause if you don't learn, you'll be a fool." "It's the last stop, come on, get out... please, please, don't scream and shout." "Come on." "Oh, welcome to Zombeski High." "Oh, that kid's in trouble, I cannot lie." "And who said, 'Now is the winter of our discontent... made glorious summer by this son of York'?" "Excuse me young man, this is high school literature..." "Junior High is ah, two buildings over." "Ah ah, I'm Isaac, Isaac Ackerman." " I'm a junior..." " I'm so sorry." "Well then, Mr. Ackerman... are you going to stand there... gawking at the beaudacious beautiful supled skinned... bootilicious ampled bosomed young filly... or, are you going to join us in the world of Shakespeare..." "Tolkien and my personal favorite, Jackie Collins?" "Dude loves Jackie Collins." "Have a seat there, young man." "The red represents hydrogen, the blue oxygen." "Two snaps hydrogen, one snap oxygen... and bam, H2O... water." "Great for drinking... eight glasses a day for perfect complexion... and a well hydrated body, bathing... depending on your nationality, and if you add a blessing... holy water." "Great for exorcisms and killing vampires." "Don't forget to turn in your assignments." "What makes the world go round and round." "Love or gravity." "Or, why do fools fall in love?" "One of these questions have no answer, believe me." "You." "You are very, very special." "More than you know." "Tick tock, tick tock." "Are they mere words or sounds of a clock?" "I, I don't understand." "You will, in time." "Or... maybe you won't." "I can't be sure." "Oneth by day twoeth by night" "Zombeski high, fight, fight, fight" "Go Zombies." "Where's your head, boy?" "Never, never land." "I'm ready Coach, I'm ready." "Oneth by day twoeth by night" "Zombeski high, fight, fight, fight" "Go Zombies" "Isaac, Isaac, go Isaac." "Isaac, Dean's office, now." "Hello?" "Sit, Mister Ackerman." "Nice decorations." "And, and your costume... it, it all looks so real." "Yes." "More than you can even imagine." "Why has he brought you to me?" "For what purpose, I wonder?" "Because... because I crashed into the cheerleaders?" "Yes, yes, finally... the child of the thirteenth sign, your fate... is mine to decide." "I suggest that you not tempt it, or me." "Leave." "And, do it before I change my mind." "I'm sorry." "Were you just waving at my girl?" "No, no, I, I... see, I didn't realize, I'm new here." "Oh oh, well ah... let me give you a little initiation... and show you around campus." "Oh, Brock, you're not going to do anything to hurt him, are you?" "Me?" "Pick on the vertically challenged?" "I have a reputation to uphold." "Oh, you're such a sweet guy, see you after practice?" "Yeah." "Let's ah, let's go find you a better locker." "Let me out." "Let me out of here." "This isn't funny." "What's the matter honey... didn't you have a good first day at school?" "Well, besides the fact that I got laughed at, humiliated... sent to the Dean's office and stuffed in a locker... it was great." "Sounds full of opportunity and promise, son." "Which reminds me, Clarabelle, I promised the Chancellor... we'd attend his Halloween party this weekend." "He has selected moi to do a speech..." " on Hallow's Eve." " That's wonderful, dear." " What about us?" " Yeah." "Who's going to watch us?" "And, more importantly, me?" "No, no, don't look at me." "I have plans, going out with friends." "You don't have any friends." "What is the only flying mammal?" "Bats." "Calling all troops, it's 0600, repeat it's 0600... hit the deck, hit the deck." "Fall out right now for morning nourishment at 0630... dressed promply at 0700." "That means you too now, sleeping beauty." "Move it, move it, move it." "Not again, Dad." "Another tre' magnifique morning." "Viva la France." "Isaac, it's 0659, you're going to miss the bus... move, move, move." "Turn off your cell phones." "Place your belongings, including... all weapons and illegal substances on the floor." "All I want to see on your desk is a number 2 pencil." "Now this, for those of you who don't know... is a pop quiz." "No... you may not use a calculator." "And no... there will be no make up exam." "And yes, it will count towards your final grade." "You have until the clock strikes twelve, begin." "What's with that division?" "Impossible." "The number inside of the number." "You're a wiz at math though." "Me?" "Yeah, I'm pretty proficient." "I'm just pretty." "Thank God, Misses LeConte doesn't teach here any more?" "Misses LeConte?" "You mean as in Anne Rice?" "Yeah, yeah... well she used to teach here five years ago." "She was into numerology and all this other weird stuff." "Some kids were failing in class... and complained she was a devil worshiper." "Really creepy." "Now, here's where it gets really strange." "The day before she was going to get fired... she disappears, along with all five students... and nobody's heard from them since." "Yeah, and now every time a student fails Math... they disappear on Halloween night." "Okay, this is weird." "I think the old owners of our house were named LeConte." "999 Argyle?" "Yeah?" "That's a haunted house." "I really don't want to be late." "You Americans, always in such a hurry." "Rush, rush, rush." "We Europeans, on the other hand..." "Are absolutely, stunningly... at long last, a woman I can really sink my teeth into." "Going out in Hollyweird on this Halloween night... please be very careful." "The mysterious maniac known only... as the Grim Reaper remains on the loose." "Kids." "He is believed to be armed and extremely dangerous." "If you see him, well run and fast." "Kids." " Kids." " Kids." "The Grim Reaper is no match for, Aracknaboy." " Yeah, I bet he's real scared." " Yeah, real scared." "You guys look just simply spooktacular." "Now, remember and listen to Aracknaboy." "Exactly." "Superfly here is in charge." "And, promise me, whatever you kids do... don't leave the house, it's dangerous out there." "We'll be back before the clock strikes twelve." "And remember, even super heroes can be grounded." " Bye, love you." " Away." "Trick or treat." "Thank you." "Thank you, thank you." "Bye." " Trick or treat." " Trick or treat." "Trick or treat." "Give us some candy, you all." "Hey, how you doing?" "What are you, what are you guys doing here?" "It's a Halloween party." "This place is a senior tradition, man." "No way, my parents would kill me." "Would you do it for me, Isaac Ackerman?" "My brother, kissed by a hotty." " Now that's scary." " I, I, I still don't know." "If you don't let them in, I will." "Trick or treat." "To play in the game, I got style." "Believe me." "Oh yeah." "I really hope I don't live to regret this." "You definitely won't live to regret this... cause Mom and Dad will kill you when they find out." "What do you mean, when they find out?" "Whatever happened to if?" "As in, if you give me twenty bucks, I won't say anything." "Twenty bucks, that's like my entire allowance." "Well, love don't come cheap." "The hotter they are, the more they cost." "And hot pink Barbie over there... is definitely going to cost you." "Thanks." "The frightened villagers try to appease the spirits... with gifts of fruits and nuts." "For if not placate, the villagers fear that the spirits... would wreak havoc and destroy their property." "I just hope we're doing the right thing." "Leaving the kids alone." "That Grim Reaper thing, really scared me." "Oh honey, Isaac is a very responsible young man." "I think those kids are in fine shape." "Not to worry." "But you, mademoiselle Ackerman, are in grave danger..." "Because..." "I want to bite your neck." "George." "What the heck was that?" "What, in Martha Stewart's name, just happened?" "I think I just saw a bat." "George, you're going to drive me batty... with all these silly Hallow's eve stories." "Pagan Gods and sacrifices, ghosts and goblins, and bats." "What's next, a werewolf?" "Good party little dude." "Yeah, real cool." "You can't have alcohol in here." "My parents will kill me, and besides, it's illegal." "Oh, not if you're over 21." "Oh, and you're over 21?" "I'm 22, little man." "Double two..." "I ah... well ah, let's just say, I'm not exactly on the honor roll." "I'm a third year senior." "Wait, that would make you 21." "Most people graduate when they're 18." "Well ah, I did my junior year twice." "Junior, junior." "You get it?" "I'm Jay Jay." "The coolest thing in the world... besides partying... would be to be smart." "Smart." "It's the essence of cool." "I got to go pee." "Oh, I wish more people thought that." "You know, for once... not listening to Mom and Dad, didn't turn out so bad." "For you." "You're having a great time at this party." "And, you got my 20 bucks on top of it." "I owe it to Vince, where is he anyway." "Have you seen him?" "No." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to scare you." "I saw you pulled over on the side of the road... and I just thought you might need a little help." "Sometimes I get carried away." "It's a very good mask, man." "Really good." "Let me help you fix your car, that'll help make up for it." "You know about cars?" "Maybe." "I'll help." "I don't get it, I can't find him anywhere." "Maybe the Grim Reaper got him." "It's not even funny." "He's a kid, he's probably passing out candy... or maybe he went trick or treating." "Let's go look." "Maybe we should go help them." "Remember what I saw about how not listening to Mom and Dad... may actually turn out to be a good idea?" "Yeah?" "I was wrong." "Aren't you going to answer it." "It's probably Mom and Dad calling to check in on us." "If you don't answer it, they'll be freaked." "Answer it." "Everybody!" "Shhhhhh..." " Hello?" " Hi honey." "I just wanted to see how my three little lovelies are doing?" "Sounds like you have a lot of trick or treaters." "Yeah, yeah, we're doing fine." "We got a little bit more than we expected." "Oh gosh." "Well, I hope you don't run out of treats." "That would be so embarrassing." "Don't worry Mom, I've got everything under control." "Okay well, let me speak to Dana and Vincent." " No no." " Here." "Hi Mom." "You're never going to believe this." "No no no no." "So Mom, ah, Dana had to go get more treats... for the trick and treaters." "Oh, okay." "Well, let me talk to my little Vin man." "I miss him so much." "Ah, Vincent is ah..." "What's his problem?" "Ah Vincent, he's ah ah..." "Loser." " Where have you been?" " What are you doing?" "We're playing Poker." "Strip poker." "Strip poker?" "Dude, your little brother rocks." "You want in the game?" "I'm not very good at cards." "Okay, no more half naked girls for you, okay." "You're only five." "What's going on over there?" "And what's this about five naked girls?" " Mom, hello, Mom." " Five naked girls?" "No Mom, there are only two girls, and they're only half naked." "Oh, there's only two girls and they're only half naked." "Half naked is still good." "It's Halloween Mom, they're on costumes." "More, more trick and treaters at the door." "Got to get a rush." "Don't want things to get ugly." "Bye Mom." " I think it's a goner." " I think we're goners?" "I think you're going to need to call Triple..." "I was doing it a lot better in the shower." "Right." "You really think locking him in there is such a good idea?" "Of course, I mean, we know exactly where he is." "We don't have to go looking for him again." "Besides, it's not like he's alone... he's got those two girls and Jay Jay in there with him." "What could possibly happen?" "Two half naked girls, a drunk guy... and a five year old, all locked in the same room." "Sounds perfectly normal to me." "I thought we were going to dance?" "I want to play poker." "I got to beat that kid out." "No." "There's no way, that, that's impossible." "We just locked him in here." "Vince, Vince, come on out, this isn't funny." "Stop playing hide and go seek." "Maybe he got out through the window?" "Nope, no way, no how." "This baby's locked from the inside." "Maybe the snake at him." "Maybe they just vanished." "People don't just vanish, okay." "This is insane." "There has to be a logical explanation for this." "Maybe Misses LeConte took him." " You're so immature." " Oh please." "I mean, they're no where." "My parents are going to kill me." "Maybe there's a hidden door somewhere?" "Yeah, like a secret passage, with tunnels and stuff." " Like in the movies." " Exactly... like when they pull on books that seem totally ordinary... but actually they're like a hidden switch." "They act like a hidden lever." "Or a key." "That activates a moving wall... or a book case that disappears, or..." "A fireplace." "Right, look, this is totally lame, alright... the kid's just hiding from us." "Like he did before." "Now let's go, okay, let's just party." "Hey, guys, look what I found." "It's got like letters on it, and it's loose..." "Hey, hey, it's probably like a key." "All right." "Pull it on the count of three." "Ready, one, two, three." "Get it before it breaks." "Catch it." "Brock, baby, are you okay?" "Brocky kins." "What is the big deal with this brick, anyway?" " I really don't get it." " It, it's simple algebra." "See, it, it's actually X equals I, plus I X." " I still don't get it." " Ten equals one plus nine." " Yeah." " Yeah, so?" "All right, what just happened?" "Where are we?" "It's a revolving fire place." "Somebody please turn on the lights." "Do you have a flashlight?" " Vince." " Vince." "Man, it's really dark." " Did you guys see that?" " What?" "Another ghost." "Yeah, right." "No, I think he's talking about those creepy looking eyes." "What creepy looking eyes?" "The ones on that fat black cat that just scurried off." "Maybe he thought you were it's mommy." "I need to call my parents." "Oh yeah, right." "Yeah, that's going to work." "Yeah, we're having a Halloween party... and your little brother's disappeared." "Jock straps right." "We have to find Vince... before Mom and Dad get back." "But we can't just leave the house wide open." "It's going to get trashed." "You and I are going to figure out a way through." "Hold down the creepy crypt, keep the party happening... you two go find your little brother, all right." "Now, how are we going to get out of here?" " I think we need the key." " Yeah." "Right." " It's on the other side." " Exactly." "You know, it's still pretty dark in here." "Yeah, pass me the lighter." "That's hot." "I'm ready." "Let's go find your little brother." " Do we have a choice?" " Vince, where are you?" " That's really isn't funny." " Dana, wait up." "Hey, I think I found something." "It's a note or something." "It says, 'Trick or treat, this is it... follow the clues and find the kid'." "'Lf you don't, you must be aware... he'll be doomed, lost somewhere'." "Who does this guy think he is, the Riddler?" "He's leading us on a trail." " Or into a trap." " Come on guys." "What was that?" "My Jimmy Chus." "Your chews?" "Chus, shoes, and their ruined." " What was that?" " Maybe you upset the shoe Gods." "The floor is moving." "Oh, it's stinks." "Smells like..." "In Ancient Greek epochs, witches were guides... sending heroes on legendary adventures... into the underworld." "I'm sure they were, dear." "How long did that tow truck say he was going to be?" "An hour and a half, dear." "Well, I'm going to take a walk." "A walk?" "In the woods?" "At this hour?" "Yeah." "Pit stop." "Pee pee break." "Oh, right." "But be careful." "Okay." "George, hurry up." "I'm going as fast as I can, Claire." "Claire?" "Is that you, Claire?" "Honey?" "Claire?" "Is that you?" "Oh hey, big fella." "That's a great costume." "Really stupendous, phenomenal." "Amazing, really." "You're a real bear, aren't you?" "Is everything okay?" "Be right there, honey." "Honest." "Do you have a friend back there or something?" "No, more of an acquaintance." "Let me in, let me in." "What happened to you, honey?" "Nothing." "Hey guys, check it out." "It, it's a man hole." "What did you just call me?" "It, it's a manhole... a way we can climb out of here." "No way." "I'm not climbing up there." "All right." "I'll handle this." "Be careful, baby." "Man it's really heavy." "Do you see anything?" "Hey guys, we're all clear." " Are you okay?" " What happened?" "No, not okay, I almost got run over by a car." "I think we're under Hollywood Boulevard." "How are we supposed to get out of here without killing ourselves?" "Timing, perfect timing, okay." "What?" "All right look, there's a traffic signal about every... 370 feet, and they all last about a minute." "Now, considering it's Halloween night..." "I'm guessing traffic's pretty heavy." " Translation pleases." " It means that we have to..." "Listen to when traffic stops and then..." " Go for it." " Exactly." "All right, I'm going first, then just follow up after me." "I'll tell you when it's clear." " Come on." " Okay." " Let's go." " Okay." "Go." "Be careful." "Come on, a truck's coming." "Come on, come on, hurry." " My skirt is caught." " Just rip it." "Are you crazy?" "It's designer." "Go." "Stop." " Hey, are you okay?" " Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." "Now that's what I call a brush with death." "Thanks, I mean, you saved my life." "And you, you, you're a genius." "These tears make my designer skirt an original... just like me." "I love it." "Hi." "What is it?" "Aren't you the school bus driver?" "Listen up homeys, because this night will get stranger." "Now follow the stars cause your life is in danger." "You're in the middle of the street fools... come on, move, move, move." "Follow the stars?" "I don't get it." "Doing good, you all are." "Just do like I said, and follow the stars." "Follow the stars." "What was that?" "He's whacked." "All right guys, I think there's a parade a couple of blocks up." "Come on, we can go find some help." "Good idea, I just need to freshen up first." "Oh, don't worry about it, babe." "They'll only be checking out your body anyway." " You are so immature." " Come on." "You see, the problem is... if the souls of loved ones could return from the dead... so could anyone else." "Human or not." "Nice, or not so nice." "Finally, Mister Z, our victim." "That's right." "As you command, my Lord." "Immortality, is near." "There's a monster, run, run." "There's a monster." "We'll find him, okay." "I think I've never really told you this." "But, actually, you're all right." "I mean, even if you did lose our kid brother." "Well, guys... this is a big waste of time." "A wild goose chase." "I say we go back to your place... call the cops and let them handle it, all right." "And I'm out of here, sorry." "I love Madonna." "And ah, your point is?" "Her star is under my feet." "This is like sacred ground." "Follow the stars." "That's it." "Follow the stars." "The stars on the walk of fame." "Well, like I said, I'm out of here, come on Jess, let's go." "I think Brock's right, we've done all we can... we should let the police handle it from here." " Sorry." " Guys." "What are you doing, man." "Let go of me." "Let him go you gargantuan beast." "Oh, help me." "Hey, I'm talking to you, boy." "He's choking me." "Are you def or something, let the kid go." "And play with someone your own size." "Kids, get lost." "Now." "What was that?" "I don't know, but I'm not sticking around to find out." "Let's get out of here." "Who on Hallow's Eve is that?" "Good evening, I'm a bird watcher... and I'm looking for a big breasted bed thrasher." "Have you seen one?" "What, what did he say?" "You know, a really groovy, shagarific chick... have as you call them." "Slap and tickle." "What language is that, is that English?" "Charming." "Hello, hello, whatever shall we do with you, baby." "Yes." "Who are you sir, and what do you want?" "Well, certainly not you, baby." "Are you the mechanic?" "Well, I have a rather large tool, if that's what you mean, mate." "But no, I'm Winston..." "Churchill." "Remember that name, baby, you'll be screaming it later on." "Yeah baby, yeah." "George, why can't you get a costume like that?" "Because I'd have to talk like that." "Jess, where is your cell?" "Can we use it to call a cab and get out of here?" "What's wrong with yours?" "Oh, come on, I'm all roaming." "Charges are going to kill me." "You called, I got a whole bunch of stuff to sell." "I got watches, sun glasses, jewelry, whatever you need." "This is Mamma Jamma?" " You know her?" " What are you doing here?" "She's my, she's my physics teacher." "And so much more." "He just doesn't know it yet." "And you must be his little girl friend." "Yeuch no, I'm his sister." "Oh, yes, that explains it." "But you are such a pretty little thing... you're going to get all the boys when you grow up... yes you will." "Thanks." "Okay, so, what's the point of this?" "Special child, you've got to pray, all of you." "It will help... or at least it's supposed to." "The stars are aligning, so much to do, so little time." "Tick tock, tick tock." "This is for you." "And this is for you, little sister." "Oh, vintage." "I put a little of my magic in it... but don't open it, till the time is right." "Tick tock, tick tock, tick." "Ah, you see where this is going." "Oh, how did she do that?" "Of course... follow the stars, the stars are in heaven." "The dead stars." "I still don't get it." "I'm so confused." "The dead stars." "Where do you find dead people?" "A cemetery, on Halloween night oh, I so don't think so." "Dead, dread, souls should be fed." "Stop him now, or it will be your head." "Justin is mortality." "One two come for you" "Three four lock your door" "Five six, get a crucifix" " Seven eight..." " Would you stop that already?" "Sorry." "It's kind of scary." "This place totally creeps me out." "Great, my cell phone's dead." "That's not the only thing that's dead in here." "This guy." "Boris Karloff." "Oh, I so loved him on 'Buffy'." "Bela Lugosi." "Forever Dracula?" "That's totally lame, everybody knows..." "Antonio Banderas is Dracula." " He's hot." " He was Zorro." "Whatever." "Hey guys, this one says something." "'Here you are, forever you stay... use your legs quickly, and be on your way, or else'." "What's that suppose to mean." "It doesn't rhyme." "Run." "Run?" "That doesn't rhyme." "Run." "Oh, no, what we gonna do, they're like so old." "Even older than Sean Connery." "They're not old, they're dead, you idiot." "Yeah, like we're going to be if we don't get out of here." "All right, I'm going to handle this." "It's a man's job." "Shoooo... scram." "All right, guys, ah... help me out a little bit, it's not really working, so..." "Stand back... this is not only expensive human deodorant... but it also doubles as zombie repugnant." " You mean repellant?" " Whatever." "Oh, I knew the purse size was a bad idea." "Someone kill them." " But, they're already dead." " Tell them that." "All right, we got to, we got to distract them." "Hand me your ipod." "All right, they're dead stars." " What do stars like to do?" " Perform?" "Exactly." "What is this place?" "It's a mauseleom." "What kind of museum?" "One with dead people." "Vladamir Zombeski." "Zombeski as in Zombeski High." "I guess." "Born, October 31, 1899, died October 31, 1999." "He shall live forever." "He shall live forever?" "Shouldn't it say like, he shall live forever... in our hearts, or something?" "That, that's weird." "More like stupid." "Noboby lives forever." "Nobody human." "Don't you guys think it's a little weird... that he was born and then died on the same day... and that day was Halloween?" "Halloween?" "All Hallow's eve, the pagan new year... the night of the spirits, rise from the dead." "The night spirits both good and evil... return to the living." "I remember that from one of Dad's boring speeches." "And your point is?" " We need to open the tomb." " What?" "I mean, if he's in there, we know he's definitely dead." "All right, what if, what if he's not in there, then what?" "We'll just have to find out." "Come on." "Come on you guys." "All right, on the count of three, okay." "One, two, three." "Four, five, six, seven." "What?" "What, did you see something?" " Like the body?" " It's really bad." "What, what, what happened, babe?" "I broke a nail." "Well, I have to fix it." "I can't find my nail file, do you have one?" "No, I do not have a nail file." "But, I just have this." "Oh, pretty." "Do you think it's real... or do you think it's costume jewelry." "Let me see that." "You have to give it back." "Okay." "The hexagonal key." "Each of it's six sides represents a stage in eternal life." "Birth, life, death... judgment, resurrection and rebirth." "Rebirth?" "What's rebirth?" "When a dead person's resurrected... before they can be reborn... they need all the living souls of all the astrological signs." "Yeah, and once they have each of the thirteen signs..." "Yeah, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra..." "Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Peices." "That's only twelve." "Offiucus." "That's the thirteenth sign." "Well, how come I don't know about it." "Oh, I so know my signs." "Offiucus, it, it's the sign of the snake." "It, it's complicated." "What happens when they have all these signs?" "Rebirth." "Eternal life." "This... this goes right here." "What's happening?" "I think we're about to find out." "What is this place?" "Star gaze Observatory." "Guys." "This is where they filmed, 'Without a Cause'." "James Dean, the King of Cool." "I thought Jimmy Dean was the king of sausage." "Bimbo without a clue." "So, why are we here again?" "Besides being sucked into a coffin... hurled through an underground maze... and heaved out of a sewer pipe." "Because all the clues are about following the stars." "They were all about real stars... and where better for stars than an observatory." "Come on, guys." "Come on, guys." "Come on." "Evening citizens, I'm Mister Incredulous... and this is ah my side kick ah, ah, ah..." "I'm his partner..." " and it's Frostbite." " Frostbite." "May we be of some assistance this evening folks?" "Oh, I get it, Mister Incredulous... yeah, listen that really won't be necessary." "Everything's fine, we're just waiting for a tow truck." "Sir, no, we really must insist, it's all part of a super hero credo... helping those in distress." "Ah, open the trunk, please." "That's so nice." "Neighborly." "And they said big city's aren't friendly." "I'll have your tire fixed in a jiffy, folks." "Tire?" "There's nothing wrong with the tires." "All part of the service, sir." "These guys are loonie toons." "Actually dear, I think they're Pixars." "Nearly finished." "Ah, looks like our work is done here." "Ah, oh hey, you know, I'm sure the super heroes... you know, they have to earn a living too... but, I don't have any cash." "I'm wearing a costume." "It's all part of the rehabilitation, sir." "Just have a good night." "May the force be with you." "What the heck just happened?" "I have no idea." "Hey, it's a magic cube security grid." "I, I think I can hack it." "Let's see... nine cubes, six sides, six sides." "Four squared." "It's impossibility four sides per square... nine times six times six is... three hundred and twenty four to the tenth power." "Ah, what?" "What?" "Where are we?" "I have no idea." "Oh, that's a long way down." "I'll say." "Guys." "This is starting to get old." "Something's really wrong." "I think we're about to get a really big clue." "Professor Skuttlebutt?" "Guys, I'm really starting to feel like we're on a field trip here." "That is the lamest zombie costume I've ever seen." "What are you, a jock?" "Strap?" "By the way, I love the skirt, it's fabulous." "If I wear it to school, will you give me an A?" " Me, too?" " You're into torn skirts?" "The reason I'm here, is to warn you." "You're in graaaave danger." "Tell us something we don't already know." "All righty then." "The Dean is actually a resurrected being... awaing the soul of the child from the thirteenth side." " Alfiucus." " Exactly." "And then, he shall live forever... doinig whatever it is that's evil, twisted... demented, egomaniacal, meglomaniacal... reborn freaks do." "I think that's pretty much the gist of it." "So, what does that have to do with us?" "And like, what does it have to do with you?" "Ah, it's all in the stars, really." "As in signs, zodiac, not street." "What's your birthday?" "Ah, February 29th." "I'm a leap year baby." "He's not even four years old." "Oh my gosh, that is so creepy." "My birthday is February 29th." "Well, actually on my driver's license... and my birth certificate, it says March 1st..." " but it's really..." " Alfiucus... sign of the snake." "It's what he lacks in order to be or not to be." "That is after all the eternal question." "Actually, my question was, what does this have to do with you?" "Some of the teachers have formed an alliance... to protect the students." "I'm part of that alliance." "Not for long, skuttle butt." "Is that Mamma Jammer... and Coach Tiny, they're part of the alliance too, right?" "Okay, this is the biggest pile of poop." "You know what I think?" "I think this is one big Halloween hoax." "Yeah, I've had it, and we're getting out of here." "Come on, babe." "We are so screwed." "So, was your mission successful." "Speak as a human." "I'm so over this place." "You are so out of here." "Or not." "There's got to be another way down." "I know, we can get parachutes and jump." "Yeah, that would be easy." "I am like so not." "So, what's next, a giant rat or something?" "I hate bats." "What the..." "I'm worried George, the kid's aren't answering." "Well, they're probably out chasing bad guys, you know..." " Spider boy." " Aracknaboy." "Oh, I'm so over super heroes." "Hello?" "Isaac?" "Is that you?" "Hello?" " I got to go pee." " Hello?" "That's weird, he hung up." "You probably dialed it wrong." " It's programmed, George." " Give it to me." "Oh, it is programmed." "Greetings, on this most happy of Hallow's Eve." "My... aren't you quite the dish." "If you like Salmon." "How did you do that?" "That's impossible." "Magic darling." "And, what are you?" "Are you a little pussycat, meow?" "All right, all right." "What do you want with us?" "Oh, you know, that is a very good question." "I want you, to do exactly what I tell you to do." "Miss Morticia." "Your lipstick." "You even smell like a piece of fish." "Hey, ah, it's me." " I almost forgot I had this." " Your cell works." " Hello?" " Isaac." "Why havne't you been answering the home phone... your mother's worried sick." "I'm sorry, I got a little busy." "Halloween and all." "So, everything's okay?" "Vince?" "Dana?" "Yeah, everyone's just, just spooktacular." "Well, you know, I told your mom... that our little super hero could handle this." "You know what, hold, hold on a second." " Let me put her on." " No Dad, don't..." " I have to..." " Issac." " Mom." " I was worried sick." "Can I talk to my little pumpkin?" "Ah, Vince is ah..." "Home?" "Well, where else would he be?" "I have to talk to him." "Ah, hold on one second, Mom." " Hello?" " Isaac, where are you?" "Mom and Dad just called here, freaked." "Jay Jay hung up on them." " Vince?" " Vince?" "Where are you?" "How are you?" "King of hearts." "Oh yeah." "Dana and I have gone all over the city..." "looking for you, and you're home?" "I'm home." "In the study." "Revolving fire place." "The girls like it in here, it's spooky... and you know how girls get when they get scared." "Boo." "Where are you guys?" "Did you go trick or treating?" "You'd never even believe it." "All right, look." "Just stay home, don't go anywhere... don't even move, all right." "We'll be home as soon as wean." "What do I do if Mom and Dad call again?" "Oh shoot, Mom." "Ah Vince, I got to go." "Bye." "Girls, now where were we?" "Mom, Mom, I'm really sorry." "Well, I hope it was something important." "Look Mom, I really have to go, okay?" "You sure everything's all right?" "It, it will be." "That's a promise." "Hey, maybe the elevator will actually work this time." "We could only hope." "The kid was home the whole time?" "Okay, well ah, we gonna go and..." "Do you know what I've learned over the year, huh?" "That things aren't always as they appear." "Let me guess, you're part of the alliance... for the teachers to protect the kids... against the thing, right?" "Not exactly." "Fool." "I'm here to deliver you to my master." "I don't think so." "You are so dead." "How did you know?" "Yeah, how did you know, baby?" "Two things, one, the mirror... when I went to help her with her totally ghastly makeup." " No reflection." " Exactly." "And two, the shoes." "I mean, they haven't made shoes like that... since the Salem witch hunts." "No self respecting 21st century woman... would be caught dead wearing those things." "Let's go guys." "Who are you?" "I am the Dean..." "of eternal evil." "I got a bad feeling about these guys." "Any suggestions?" "Die easy." "It's less painful that way." "I am so going to give you an extreme make over." "Sit." "Mister Ackerman..." "I have special plans for you, because you're special." "When the clock strikes twelve, your soul will be mine." "Rise." "Rise." "Rise." "So ah, sorry I'm so late guys... you wouldn't believe my night." "Well at this point, we would believe just about anything." "Can you get us home?" "999 Argyle." "Go Zombies." "Somebody help me!" "What's more powerful than God, but more evil than the devil?" "Nothing." "Success." "Help." "Do we have to do everything?" "Baby." "No." "No, no." "Oh, come on." "Yeah, that's it." "Okay, all right, yeah, that's it, all right, all right." "All right." "Red, thirteen, hut, hut." "Yeah, want to play a little catch... come on, atta boy." "Let my brother go, he didn't do anything to you." "But he's going to do something for me." "A gift that shall last forever." "Do you think he means diamonds?" "His soul will be eternally mine, mine forever." "For all of eternity, infan item..." " imperputuity." " We got it." "Very well then." "It's a perfect time... for all of you, to die." "I'm too young to die." "I'm too hot to die." "I'm too cool to die." "And what about you?" "It's not my time to die." "Tick tock, tick tock, tick..." "Catch." "Tock." "You guys really kicked butt today." " Thanks." " Hey, you know what... you're not too bad yourself." "Let's get out of here, you guys." "I'm with you, baby." "Yeah, for once I actually agree with you." "Ah, hello." "Ah, hello, guys?" "A little help here." "So, how we getting home?" "I'll call a cab." "A cab?" "Let's call a limo." "There's always Carlton." "This is awesome." "Got to get you home, got to make things right." "Cause this has been one whacked out night." "No doubt, no doubt, let Gwen Stephani shout." "We've reached the end, the end of the route." "Carlton." "All right." "Well ah, it's been ah, it's been real." "I'd stay and help clean up, but I've got pilates at eight... a facial at nine and nails at ten." "I'm so booked." "But, you know... for a smart kid, you're pretty cool." " Thanks." " See you at school." "Ah, arachnaboy..." "I don't know if you remember or not... but Mom and Dad are on their way home." "Oh, shoot." "Come on." " Vince." " Vince." "Ladies, ladies, I believe these are yours." "Thank you." "That's so hot." " Hello?" " Hello, kids." " Anybody home?" " Hello?" "Hey, you guys are home pretty..." "late." "Well, you won't believe the night we had, son." "How are the kids, did Vince behave himself?" "Ah, yeah, perfect little angel." "Ah, they're both sound asleep." "Good job, son." " Love you, Mommy." " Sweet dreams, honey." "Hey Vincent... hope you didn't clean your siblings out too badly." "You're aces, buddy." "And kings, and queens and jacks." "Yeah, go to sleep, son." "And don't forget to turn out the light." "Good night, dad." "Oh yeah." "If it's all right with you guys..." "I think I'm going to hit the hay." "Son, your Mother and I are very proud of you... we got home tonight... and everything seemed perfectly in order." "So, did you kids have fun?" "Uneventful, really." "I wish we could say the same." "I'll tell you what, son, next year... let's have your mother make you a Darth Vader costume." "I am your father." " Go to bed." " Good night, Dad." " Good night, son." " Good night, Mom." "Good night." "How did that come loose." "Tidy, tidy, tidy, one thing out of place." "It's not a disgrace." "You really have to watch those carbs." "Yeah." "They're a real killer." "Done by (c) dcd / November 2007"