"Previously on privileged..." "A dear friend of mine is interviewing people" "At her estate in Palm Beach." "Hello, Mrs. Limoges." "Call me Laurel." "My daughter left me two grandchildren," "Rose and Sage." "Their grades are lousy." "You want me to be their tutor?" "I'm Megan Smith, Rose's tutor." "Call me Jacob." "Aren't you a little young for a headmaster?" "I haven't been out with anyone in a really long time." "But I'm..." "I'm happy you asked me." "After seeing how slammin' you looked last night," "I thought that maybe we should give it another try." "I have a feeling being with Max is a bad situation, and I have a feeling that you know it." "You think you can lecture me on what it means to be a good sister?" "I would jump in front of a bus to save Rose from being hurt." "You'd throw Lily in front of a bus just for fun." "Atomic number for Lithium." "3!" "Does no one care that it's Saturday?" "A perfect time to study." "Why make Sunday nights stressful when they don't need to be?" "And what is lithium?" "An antidepressant." "I was going for alkali metal, but close enough." "Nice work, Rose." "Packages for the girls." "Oh, my god!" "I don't know how anyone lived before all-night shopping was invented." "Ok." "Guess we're taking a break." "Actually, Megan, I think you're going to be super proud of our purchases." "You know all those books we have to read for English lit?" "Sense and sensibility, Mansfield Park" "Well, we got the DVDs." "Check it out." "Oh, ok." "Well, you do realize that you're still gonna need to read all the books and" "Oh, I didn't know that Jane Austen wrote The Bone Supremacy, nor did I see that one on the syllabus." "Sorry!" "That's mine." "You bought porn online?" "Yeah, why didn't you just borrow some from Jordanna?" "She's got a huge collection." "I needed a specific kind." "Anyway, let's go back to chemistry." "Wait." "What do you mean, you needed a specific kind?" "Why-why do you need any kind of porn?" "Why is porn a need?" "Why can't I stop saying "porn"?" "This is about Fiona, isn't it?" "Fiona who?" "Fiona the express train." "'Cause she goes downtown with no stops." "Oh, my god." "Yeah." "Yeah, and apparently she's really good, and she was with Max before we got together, so there's a lot of pressure." "Ok." "Um..." "Sage, do you think that I could, um, talk to Rose for a minute alone, please?" "You're seriously gonna kick me out of my own room?" "No, it's ok, Sage." "Just..." "Unbelievable." "So, uh," "Rose." "Look- Rose" "Before we get into all of this," "I just think that you should know..." "I'm not a virgin." "Oh." "Oh, really." "Ok." "Um, when did that happen?" "Uh-huh." "Ok." "End of last year." "Okey-dokey." "Uh, well, changes my approach a little bit." "And I do use condoms, and I got my HPV vaccination last year, so we don't have to talk about all the diseases, you know, warts, herpes, chlamydia" "Wow." "Ok, I wasn't even thinking herpes or- and then just to be safe, I am on the pill." "I mean, there is no way that I'm getting preggers in high school." "Excellent." "Excellent." "Well, that's good to know." "So, um, ok, well, that just, you know, leaves us with the porn, which is... still an issue." "Why is it an issue?" "Well..." "There are many, uh, reasons, I mean, you know, from a feminist perspective or, you know, simply just a Sunday morning church-going perspective and-I'm sorry, I'm just a little flustered," "because when I think of Saturday mornings," "I think cereal and cartoons and not..." "Bones." "You know what?" "I think that maybe" "I should take this, and then I could gather my thoughts about it, and then... we could talk about it later." "Ok." "But I'm gonna need it back, though." "Max is coming over tomorrow night." "Ok." "Of course." "Yeah." "Ok." "I feel you, dawg." "Omelet?" "Cooking." "Scones?" "Oven." "Love and affection?" "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve that here, Will." "So, uh, how's Megan?" "She settling in, making friends?" "She's doing fine." "That's good." "Good." "What's on your mind?" "Nothing." "She already told me that she wasn't ready to date, so..." "Oh, she's dating." "She is?" "Who?" "Since when?" "Well, what does it matter?" "You're already dating her sister Lily." "Not dating-date." "Since then all we've done is trade a few phone calls." "It's very casual." "Oh, that's nice." "But there's nothing casual about dating two sisters at the same time." "Even if you live in a world where that happens," "I guarantee you, Megan does not." "Meaning what?" "Meaning she's not gonna go out with a guy who's also dating her sister, a playboy model, and that Shakira-looking thing you picked up at the minimart." "All right." "Anna is a sports illustrated model." "She turned down playboy." "Look, hot pants, nobody's judging." "You're young, you're single." "Date every woman from here to Daytona." "But, you know, guys like you don't end up with girls like Megan." "Now, maybe at the end of the movie, but not yet." "Well, I could evolve." "I mean, I could be that guy at the end of the movie." "I'm sure you will." "Someday." "But why would a zebra change his stripes for a cheetah he barely knows?" "I did just meet her, didn't I?" "Marco, will you please tell that lunatic tutor of ours she can't kick me out of my own room." "Well, your next appointment is here." "Go easy on him, Sage." "Why does she have to butt into our personal lives so much?" "I hate her." "Come on, you don't know her well enough to hate her." "I don't know what fast food tastes like, either, but I don't have to try it to know that it's gonna make me fat." "Amen to that." "But let's give our little egg McMegan a fighting chance, shall we?" "Come on." "Maybe if you got to know her, you'd find something you like about her." "Maybe you're right, Marco." "Maybe I should get to know her better." ""Dehumanization."" "That is a good word." "You are never gonna believe what I am doing right now." "You know, that sounds dirty." "And it is." "Unfortunately, our previously established dating guidelines prohibit me from discussing it with you as it pertains to the girls." "Oh, something dirty that pertains to the girls." "No, sorry, not interested." "Did I pass that test or what?" "You did very well." "And if I ask you if all men like big boobs, you'd say..." "Not me." "Hate 'em." "Mm." "Excellent." "Excellent." "So what's up?" "I'm just calling to make sure we're still on for tonight." "Yeah." "I can't wait." "So, uh, what's the plan?" "Oh, date number 4 I'm thinking dinner and a movie." "Oh, ok." "Sounds a lot like date number 3." "True, true." "But on date number 3," "I wasn't cooking the dinner, and the movie wasn't Jules and Jim." "Hmm." "French movie and a home-cooked meal." "Sounds cozy." "Well, it could be cozy." "But if it's too cozy, we could always go out." "No." "No, um..." "Cozy's good." "So, can I bring anything?" "No, just your beautiful self." "Ok, I will see you at 8:00." "See you then." "Oh, yeah, bringin' sexy back, baby." "Excuse me." "I'm looking for, um" "Ohh... as I live and breathe." "Palm Beach royalty Sage Baker gracing our salon with her well-conditioned locks." "I can't believe it." "Uh..." "That's a little too much touching." "Oh." "Sorry." "It's just the way I was raised." "I am Dale Dart." "Welcome to Shears Hoping." "I've seen your picture in all the society mags." "That dress you wore last month in the shiny sheet?" "I shrieked." "Shrieked!" "But if you don't mind me being so bold," "I think they could have done something a little... fancier with your hair." "Uh, ringlets, maybe, or-wait" "A shag." "If you ever need anybody to do your hair" "Oh, thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "I'm actually looking for Lily Smith." "Do you know where I could find her?" "I'm Lily Smith." "Hi." "Um..." "I don't have an appointment, but, um, I'm hoping you could..." "Squeeze me in." "Marco." "Ok, which one is better?" "And I'd like to remind you that I am a very vulnerable girl who's about to go on her first sex date in two years." "So, mocking would be in very poor taste." "Way to take the wind out of a girl's sails." "I'd go with the print, hair down, either shoe will work." "See?" "That wasn't so hard." "You really like this boy, don't you?" "I do." "I do." "It's so weird." "He's exactly the kind of guy that I thought that I would meet at Yale but never did, and who knew he was here in Palm Beach the whole time?" "Wait a minute." "Who was in Palm Beach the whole time?" "Wow." "Was I supposed to get dressed up to watch the game?" "Oh, I told you I wasn't watching the game." "I have a date." "But since Laurel's away, that ginormous HD surround-sound flat screen thing in her room-all yours." "Enjoy." "Now, hold on." "Hold on." "Let me help you." "I got it." "Oh, I'm just" "I'm a little scattered." "Yeah, I can see that." "Are you nervous about your date tonight?" "Sort of, but it's not just that." "It's Rose." "She bought porn." "She bought porn?" "Who buys porn anymore?" "It's all free online." "Ok." "Cost- Not the issue here." "You know, she's using it to brush up on her technique." "It's not funny." "Come on, I gotta figure out a way to talk to her about this." "You're right." "I'm sorry." "It's not funny." "It's insane, which makes it seem funny, but it's not." "Yeah, it is insane, right?" "I mean, can you imagine this kind of thing happening when we were in high school?" "Can I imagine what happening?" "Sex?" "Um, yeah." "Uh, yeah, I know people were having sex." "A lot of people were." "Yes, ok, a lot of people." "You weren't." "Yeah, I know." "I know." "I wasn't having sex." "But I wasn't the only person who wasn't having sex." "I'm just saying sex isn't your favorite topic." "You're a private person that way." "So I understand why you're freaking out about talking to Rose." "I am not freaking out." "I just want to do it right." "There are a lot of ways to approach this kind of conversation." "I mean, I want to delve deeper into the psychological ramifications of what it means" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Somehow you just found a way to make sex boring." "Shut up, ok?" "I'm still working out the fine points, but it is going to be awesome." "And for your information," "I was not Amish in high school." "Ok?" "Tony Manzella got all the way to third base with this chick." "I know." "I know." "And I was totally prepared to go all the way, but it was Tony Manzella who wanted to wait." "Yeah, right. 'Cause all 18-year-old guys want to wait." "What are you talking about?" "Nothing." "It doesn't sound like nothing." "What did Tony Manzella tell you?" "Can we stop calling him by his full name?" "It's weird." "Ok." "Ha ha." "What do you know?" "Don't make me do this." "Do what?" "Charlie!" "Ok." "It's possible that Tony thought you were a little..." "Tense." "Tense?" "What does that mean?" "Did he say that I was a bad kisser?" "Because I will have you know that my dermatologist has commented on more than one occasion that I have very supple lips." "I'm sure you do." "Then what does that even mean?" "I don't know." "I guess he thought you had a general... stiffness about you." "I don't even remember the details." "He actually said that?" "Tony didn't tell me." "I think I heard from mouse." "Mouse?" "!" "How did mouse know?" "Are you saying that the entire school thought that I was some sexual stiff?" "You're making too big a deal out of this." "It was just one of those stupid stories." "I cannot believe that you never told me about this." "How am I supposed to tell you something like that?" "Ohh!" "I'm sorry." "I-I shouldn't have said anything." "Or I should have told you before." "I don't know." "No, it's fine." "It's fine." "It's ok." "I don't even care." "But I gotta get ready for my date with Jacob, so..." "Sure, sure." "Have fun tonight, ok?" "I knew Megan was working for your family, but that-we don't talk all that much." "You sure this is all you want?" "I could add some frosted tips at the end." "Oh..." "Next time." "Promise." "Next time?" "You planning on ditching your fancy salon permanently?" "You're right." "The truth is," "I came down here to talk to you." "Megan and I have become really close, and it pains me to see you two not getting along." "Did she tell you it was my fault?" "Because it's not." "It's nobody's fault." "But I just thought that if I got to know you and your family better, maybe I could help bring you guys back together." "You want to get to know our family better?" "In a way, we're all family now." "You and Megan must have been close at one time." "I can't imagine all the fun you guys must have had growing up." "Oh, I've got tons of Megan stories." "Yeah?" "Really?" "But it's too much to get into right now." "I've got a weave in 5." "Tell you what- how about happy hour tomorrow night at the Pratt House?" "They have the best fried cheese steaks." "Sounds perfect." "I love this artist." "Who is it?" "That's my 10-year-old nephew." "He's pretty good, isn't he?" "Maybe you've noticed his fridge work." "So you didn't say anything about the cod?" "Did I undercook it?" "Oh, no, no, not at all." "The cod was..." "Perfect." "Very moist." "I mean, it was..." "Good." "It was very good, not dry fish." "You seem nervous." "Do I?" "Um..." "I'm sorry." "Am I doing something wrong?" "No." "Am I?" "Tense?" "You just seem" "Do I seem tense?" "Maybe a little." "But not in a bad way." "I'm just wondering if maybe this is weird for you, us being alone in my apartment like this." "Why would it be weird?" "I mean, unless you were expecting something." "Not that you are." "I mean, I'm not assuming that you assume that just because I came over here tonight that, you know..." "Well-actually, I did assume." "Not that we have to do anything." "Obviously." "Obviously." "Yeah." "Sorry if I led you to that conclusion." "You know, this is just the fourth time that we've gone out." "Of course." "We're still getting to know each other... you know?" "I don't really operate that way." "It's totally cool." "Good." "So, shall we- So why don't we put on the movie?" "Great." "Great." ""The Bone Supremacy"." "They think they're so clever." "Ok." "There's nothing wrong with this." "I'm an adult." "It's perfectly acceptable to be brushing up on my technique." "Wow!" "She is flexible." "Hey, Megan!" "Oh, hi, Rose." "Are you watching the porn?" "No." "Yes." "Yes, I am." "I, uh, wanted to get an idea of what happened in it so we could discuss it before you watched it." "So how is it?" "It's graphic." "It's a lot... it's a lot of graphic stuff." "Cool." "Let's watch it together." "Oh, really?" "No, I don't think that's such a good idea." "Why not?" "I'm gonna with or without you, right?" "Ok." "Um..." "Sure." "Great." "Wow." "I don't think I'm that bendy." "Ok, that's enough." "What's wrong?" "Porn should not be used as a how-to guide." "That is what's wrong." "I mean, you shouldn't be learning about sex this way." "And frankly, you are way too young to be dealing with sex at all." "Are you calling me a slut or something?" "No!" "No, of course not." "No, I just" "You just wish I was a virgin." "Well, yeah, but" "Well, I'm not." "I can't believe you're being so judgey Judgerson about this whole thing." "No, I'm not being Judgey Judgerson." "You totally are." "Rose, I didn't" "It's fine." "I don't care what you think." "You don't know me and I don't have to justify myself to you or to anyone else." "So just... please just give me the DVD." "Rose- Just give it." "Rose, can we please talk about this?" "Hey." "Will." "Hi." "What's up?" "Ah, nothing much." "Just destroying teenage lives one day at a time." "You?" "Kickin' it." "So, are those for Lily?" "I'm not with your sister all the time." "This is for my dad." "He's back in town." "And I was actually going to call you about that." "I still want to hook you two up." "Why?" "What do you mean, why?" "He's a publisher, you're a writer." "You are still a writer, right?" "In theory." "But, you know what?" "I don't think I should meet your dad." "I mean, that would be weird, wouldn't it?" "You know, me meeting him before Lily..." "You're not meeting him like that." "You're meeting him as my friend." "I thought we were friends." "We are." "Good." "So I'll call you and we'll hook it up." "Unless you want to come meet him right now." "Uh..." "That's probably the new boyfriend." "Who told you that I had" "Oh, Marco." "The original gossip girl." "Um... well, I don't have a boyfriend." "I know that I told you that I wasn't in a datey place, so I just don't want you to think" "Look, it's cool." "It was probably for the best, right?" "I'm sure this guy that you're seeing is already at the end of the movie." "Not that I couldn't get there, but I'm just not sure I want to get there yet." "I like a good epic." "You know what I'm saying?" "Not even a little bit." "Answer that." "You can meet my dad some other time." "Hey, you." "Hey, I'm glad I caught you." "I'm glad you caught me, too." "Yeah, I wanted to touch base about Tuesday." "I know." "I'm so excited." "I haven't been to the symphony in years." "Is there a dress code that I should know about?" "Well, there is, but I can't go anymore." "Oh?" "Yeah." "I am so sorry, but I completely blanked on the dates." "Oh, you did?" "Yeah." "I have this retreat." "All the board members go to Naples, and it's, uh..." "Well, it's nothing that is remotely interesting to explain or attend, but I have to be there, so..." "No, no, no, yeah." "Of course." "Yeah." "I am really sorry, but I'll call you, ok?" "Sure." "Great." "Ok." "Bye, Megan." "Bye." "How kick-ass is this place?" "Something smells like ass." "What?" "I said, did you and Megan come here after class?" "You know, when you were younger?" "Sometimes, I guess." "You and Megan must have gotten into a lot of trouble, huh?" "I wouldn't say a lot." "We did things that were sort of" "Scandalous?" "Against the law?" "Did she tell you?" "Tell me what?" "Well, there was this one time." "I mean, it was forever ago." "Sure, sure." "And we were so wasted," "I don't think it should count as illegal." "Of course not." "But in the end," "Megan did steal the car, and we did wind up robbing that liquor store at gunpoint." "Seriously?" "No." "Never happened." "I mean it happened in Thelma and Louise, but not in real life." "P.S. How hot was Brad Pitt in that movie?" "What are you talking about?" "You're full of crap." "Which I love, by the way." "But you're not here because you care about my family." "And you and my sister are so not friends." "No, we're not." "Mm-hmm." "Mm." "Yo, Pete." "So, what'd she do to you?" "Why should I tell you?" "You didn't tell me anything good." "'Cause I got nothing good to tell." "The girl's a saint." "But if you want someone to commiserate with..." "I'm here for you." "I know how hard it is to be around Megan." "I mean..." "It's like she's constantly judging you, even when she doesn't say anything." "Exactly." "And she's really obnoxious." "Tell me about it." "Like how she's always sticking her nose in our business, telling us what to do, spewing all that high on life crap." "You should have seen the way she was with me in high school." "The girl tried to get me to join the debate team." "Shut up." "It's true." "That is hideous." "Mostly, I'm worried about Rose." "She's super vulnerable, and Megan is practically running her life." "She's, like, brainwashing her." "So she's stealing your sister away from you." "That sucks." "No, she's not stealing her, she's just... messing with her head, and I don't like it." "Here's the good news." "As annoying as Megan is, she's also wicked smart." "And her heart is usually in the right place." "So your sister's in good hands." "Well, this has been a colossal waste of time." "Thanks for the lighter fluid you call wine." "Hold on." "Just because you can't destroy her doesn't mean we can't piss her off." "I mean, us hanging out like this would completely drive her over the edge." "I guess the next's round's on me." "What are you doing?" "Answering the door." "That's my job." "But I was just standing there." "And I'm fluent in seven languages, but when the girls take French, you're the one who's going to help them master it, correct?" "Um, I guess." "Then don't answer the freaking door." "What's up?" "I'm here to see Rose." "I'll let her know you're here." "It's a school night, you know." "Sorry?" "Yeah." "So if you're coming over here for any other reason than to study, it would be inappropriate." "Oh, tutor chick." "Right." "Hey, I'm Max." "I know who you are." "It doesn't change the fact that it's still a school night." "Brushing up on the classics." "Rose is an excellent tutor." "I bet." "You're a senior, right?" "You look like a senior." "Yeah?" "So?" "So I'm pretty sure that you're confident about what it is that you want." "But Rose may need a little more time to figure that out." "And if you pressure her into doing anything that she is not ready to do," "I will make it my mission to ruin your life." "I'm gonna go upstairs now." "Do you even care about her at all?" "Look, lady, I" "No, I know it's none of my business because I'm not her mom or even her friend, really, but I would feel a whole lot better about you walking up those stairs if I thought you gave a crap about her." "So answer the question." "Hey, Max." "I didn't hear you come in." "Hey, baby." "You look great." "Thank you." "We're gonna be in my room studying." "I" " I-I could come help you." "You know, I could put you through drills" "I don't think we'll be needing you." "Good night, Megan." "Good night." "Cheer up, Sylvia Plath." "There are plenty of other fish in the sea." "And, you know, Jacob Cassidy isn't all that." "That's not what's bugging me." "I mean, yes, that does bug me, but it's not what's wrong." "I had a chance to make a difference in Rose's life, and I was so worried about my own problems that I just screwed it all up." "Now she's up there doing god knows what with Mr. Shaggy hair, and... it's all my fault." "How's it your fault?" "It seems to me, teaching Rose how to keep her legs crossed doesn't fall into your jurisdiction as the tutor." "Well, who else is gonna do it?" "I mean, Laurel is always away, and..." "Sage is not exactly a model of restraint." "Well, clearly, I don't know the details, but if Rose and Mr. Shaggy hair and going to shag... there's nothing you can do to stop it." "I don't believe that." "You know, I-I think kids want to have boundaries." "You know, they want to be told what's appropriate and what's not." "What kids are you talking about?" "Well, all of us." "I know I did." "You know, and- and my sister." "Oh... so much of the time, I knew Lily was acting out just to see if my dad would do anything about it, you know?" "He was so... messed up after my mom left." "Hmm." "Mm." "We were so different, Lily and me." "You know, when I figured out that we didn't have parents to keep us out of trouble, I stopped doing everything," "I was so afraid." "And..." "Lily went the other way." "You know, she was always pushing the envelope." "And that night... when she told me that she was gonna have sex with Bobby Gardner, I" "Bobby the gardener?" "No." "Bobby Gardner." "We didn't have a lawn, much less someone to keep it neat." "The point is... she was 14, and I knew it was a mistake." "When mom was around, she might have told her not to do it, but she wasn't, and..." "Lily never listened to me, anyway, so I never said anything." "We never talked about it after that night." "Well, don't be so hard on yourself." "You were just a kid at the time." "Yeah, well, I'm not a kid anymore." "And I had this whole speech planned for Rose." "I bet it was good." "It was good." "But instead," "I let her watch porn and I called her a slut." "Oh, you had to be there." "Well, tomorrow's another day." "And I'm sure those girls are gonna want to do a million things they shouldn't do." "You can stop them the next time." "Yeah." "This one was just important to me, that's all." "You want another drink?" "No, thanks." "I'm gonna head out." "No." "You can't leave." "It's so early." "I've got an idea." "I'll buy us some poppers, my treat." "Ohh..." "Can you tell my friend I had to leave?" "Thanks." "Hi." "Driver Dave?" "I need you to pick me up immediately." "I'm at..." "Crap." "I forget the name of the bar." "Hold on." "Excuse me, sir." "Do you live in this alley?" "Give me the phone and your purse." "You've got to be kidding me." "Hand it over, bitch." "Now." "Ok." "Ok." "Um, can I at least just get my lip venom out?" "Give me that." "Hey!" "Stop!" "Hey, Lily, it's me." "Bought her one drink." "Relax." "What are you talking about?" "Nothing." "What's up?" "You know, I was just sitting here thinking about, you know, you and us when we were little." "Who did you buy a drink?" "Your friend, Parsley-Sage the tall one?" "You're out with Sage?" "She came to see me at the salon the other day, and we decided to take the party to the Pratt House." "No big deal." "It is a big deal, Lily." "She's 16 years old." "She's not even allowed in a bar." "That girl is only 16?" "Damn." "She knows how to work a dress." "I cannot believe that you bought her alcohol." "Put her on the phone." "I can't." "She took off a while ago." "I'm gonna kill you!" "God..." "I thought you were calling to be nice to me." "I was!" "Marco!" "I need to find driver Dave!" "No, no." "Don't answer it." "Hello?" "Sage, why is your number blocked?" "And now you're At a pay phone?" "Oh, my god." "Do you have any Purell on you?" "You're kidding?" "Ok, don't move." "I'll be there as soon as I can, ok?" "Ok." "What..." "Wh-what's going on?" "Sage just got mugged." "They took her purse and now she's at a pay phone." "Can you believe this?" "Hey, that's crazy." "Are you gonna tell the driver to pick her up?" "No!" "I'm going with driver, obviously." "This is traumatic." "Well, it's not that traumatic." "I mean, she's fine, right?" "My sister just got mugged." "Do you honestly think I can concentrate on making out right now?" "Uh, no, no." "Of course not." "Good." "So, should I just, like, wait around?" "I mean, how-- how long do you think this is gonna take?" "I'm sorry." "Never mind." "Forget I said anything." "Do you even care about me at all?" "I knew it." "This is because of your psycho tutor." "Her name is Megan." "And, no, maybe you didn't have to answer her, but you're gonna have to answer me." "So do you..." "care about me?" "Baby..." "Why are we doing this?" "Doing what?" "All this relationship talk." "It's not us." "You're right." "Just forget it." "Cool." "Ok." "No, I mean forget it." "Forget us." "What?" "We are so over." "Baby..." "Bye, Max." "Babe" "Wh-what" "Did you know that there are 16 different ways to get in and out of this house?" "16!" "It isn't possible to keep track of people coming or going." "We need a new system!" "Calm down." "Oh, do not tell me to calm down." "I can't find either of the girls." "Sage has been out drinking all night with my sister, and Rose has been doing extra yoga to improve her flexibility." "I mean, she could be flaunting her downward dog in any 5-star hotel by now." "Where have you girls been?" "I was about to call the police." "Well, you should have, since that's where we've been." "We had to file a report." "Sage got mugged." "You got mugged?" "Wait." "That's not even the best part." "I dumped Max." "Ok, I'm lost." "A recurring theme with you." "Everything's fine." "I went out with your sister." "Great girl, by the way." "We had an amazing time until someone stole my purse." "At gunpoint?" "Do you think I'd actually let someone take an original Tori Birch bag if there wasn't a gun involved?" "I'm not stupid." "Right." "And so then she calls me from a pay phone." "Gross." "Eew." "And Max was all, "don't get her."" "And I was like, "you are such an idiot." "Sayonara."" "I so wish I could have seen that." "Yeah, it was awesome." "Ok." "Well... sounds good." "How did Max take it?" "Actually, Megan, this is more of a private conversation." "Would you mind leaving us alone?" "Yeah, it is kind of private, Megan." "I have really good peripheral vision, just in case you didn't know." "Hey, Rose." "Um..." "look, I just" "I wanted to apologize." "I handled things pretty poorly the other day." "That's ok." "I forgive you." "And since Max and I broke up, we don't have to have the whole talk thing." "Yeah, well, you and Max may be over, but I'm sure you'll be dating another guy before you know it." "Look, I completely understand if you'd rather talk to your sister about this." "Oh, I don't talk to Sage about this stuff." "Well, she would have much to say since she's still a virgin." "Really?" "Wow." "I-I did not see that one coming." "Well, you're not a virgin, are you?" "Me?" "No." "Almost, but not quite." "My first time was after high school graduation." "It was not the best experience." "Yeah, mine neither." "I mean, technically, it's my only experience, so I don't have a lot to compare it to, but, eh, it just wasn't that great." "Why not?" "I don't know." "It was just... weird." "Well, did you say anything?" "No." "But now that I did it once, it's... not such a big deal." "Well, I'm not so sure that's true." "Look, Rose..." "When you told me that you had already had sex the other day," "I..." "I was disappointed." "But not because I was judging you, but..." "I just thought to myself, you know, what a huge deal that decision must have been for you and..." "I just wish that you had had someone to talk to about it." "I know." "And it would have been really nice if you were here then." "But that ship has already sailed." "Well, true, but just because the ship has sailed once, it doesn't mean it has to sail every time." "You know what I'm saying?" "Not really." "Well..." "Ok." "Every relationship is different." "Not all of them have to lead to sex." "Why wouldn't they?" "Because you're probably not gonna be in love with every guy that you date, and in a perfect world, you wouldn't be having sex with guys that you don't love." "Otherwise... people think you're a giant slut bag?" "Um, well, not because of what other people would think of you, but more, you know, what you think of yourself." "I'm talking about good old-fashioned self-respect." "Big in the nineties." "I hear it's making a comeback." "No, I respect myself." "I do." "A lot more than the people at my school." "Ok, well, I'm sure that's true, but let me ask you this." "If... you hadn't been so worried about Fiona's supposed... talents, would you have bought that DVD?" "No, probably not." "And not that The Bone Supremacy does not have amazing production values... just make sure whatever it is that you're doing, it's because you want to do it." "I..." "I thought I wanted to be with Max." "I just realized what a loser he was." "Look, it's- it's the risks you take when you start dating somebody." "Which is why it's good to take things slow." "Ok." "So why was your first time so bad?" "Oh, ho, for so many reasons." "Let's start out with the fact that it was in the back of a Mustang." "Yeah." "Ha ha ha ha!" "Hey, Natasha, how's the shoot going?" "Is that right?" "Well, I miss your body, too." "No, I'm not doing anything right now." "Megan:" "I wish it was incredible... it was so uncomfortable." "It was, like, 100 degrees outside." "That sounds good." "I'll meet you at the breakers in 20." "All right, gorgeous." "I'll see you soon." "Really?" "Yeah." "Hey, tawny, um, could I get a big bowl of something fried and a shake?" "Ah, I see the appetite has returned." "Things are better with Jacob?" "Actually, Jacob never called." "My stiffness takes another man down." "I am so sorry I told you that." "No, it's fine." "I'm over it." "Honestly, if he's willing to throw me overboard because I got a little nervous the other night, then he wasn't worth it." "You know who else wasn't worth it?" "Both:" "Tony Manzella." "Total loser." "Oh, I thought so." "I mean, that helmet hair." "Ohh!" "Come on." "It's true." "You deserve a lot better than those guys." "Oh, yeah?" "Like who?" "Who would you put me with?" "I have actually been thinking about that." "Oh, my god, Jacob's calling." "What do I do?" "You should..." "Answer it." "Well, maybe I shouldn't." "Maybe I- maybe I should play hard to get." "You really like this guy, right?" "Well..." "I thought I did." "Talk to him." "Hear what he has to say." "Hello?" "Hi strange how is going?" "Ok." "How's it going with you?" "Good." "I decided to come back early from the retreat, and" "There actually was a retreat?" "Of course." "Why?" "What did you" "No, I'm sorry." "I" " I just, um..." "Well, anyway, I" " I missed you." "Is it too soon to say that?" "I missed you, too." "Are you doing anything right now?" "I can be there in 20 minutes." "Cancel the fried stuff?" "Rain check?" "Oh, I love you." "Mwah!" "Hi." "You want to go out or something?" "Take a bike ride?" "Mm..." "Maybe later." "Revised and edited by ju.vianna" "Nearly one in three girls get pregnant" "By the age of 20." "You don't have to be the one." "Teen pregnancy is 100% avoidable." "Get the facts." "To find out more, go to stayteen.org."