"I believe we have a choice in this world about how to tell sad stories." "On the one hand, you can sugarcoat it." "The way they do in movies and romance novels... where beautiful people learn beautiful lessons... where nothing is too messed up that can't be fixed... with an apology and a Peter Gabriel song." "I like that version as much as the next girl does, believe me." "It's just not the truth." "This is the truth." "Sorry." "Late in the winter of my seventeenth year... my mother decided that I was depressed." "She just eats like a bird, she barely leaves the house." "I am not depressed, Mom." "She's reading the same book over and over." "She's depressed." "I'm not depressed." "The booklets and the websites always list depression as a side effect of cancer." "Depression's not a side effect of cancer." "It's a side effect of dying." "Which is what was happening to me." "I may switch you to Zoloft." "Or Lexapro." "And twice a day instead of once." "Why stop there?" "Hmm?" "Really, just keep them coming." "I'm like the Keith Richards of cancer kids." "Have you been going to that support group I suggested?" "Yeah, it's not my thing." "Support groups can be a great way for you to connect with people who are..." "Who are..." "What?" "...on the same journey." ""Journey"?" "Really?" "Give it a chance." "Who knows, you might even find it enlightening." "All right." "Are you guys ready?" "We are gathered here today literally in the heart of Jesus." "We're here with J.C." "Who wants to share their story with the group?" "I'm Angel." "I have acute myeloid leukemia." "Sid." "Acute lymphoblastic leukemia." "Hi, I'm PJ." "Um, I have neuroblastoma." "I'm Patrick." "Testicular." "I'll spare you the gory details of Patrick's ball cancer." "Basically, they found it in his nuts... they cut most of it out, and he almost died, but he didn't die." "So now, here he is, divorced, friendless... living on his parents' couch... exploiting his cancer-tastic past in the heart of Jesus." "Literally." "To show us that one day, if we 're lucky. .." "We could be just like him." "Who's next?" "Hazel?" "Um..." "I'm Hazel." "Uh, thyroid, originally... but now with quite the impressive satellite colony in my lungs." "And how are you doing?" "Uh, you mean besides the terminal cancer?" "All right, I guess." "We're here for you, Hazel." "Why don't I play another song?" "Christ is our friend" "And he'll be there till the end" "Christ is our friend" "And he'll be there till the end" "Christ" "Hey, sweet pea." "So... was it awesome?" ""Yeah, Mom, it was awesome!"" "HAZEL"." "And that was my life." "Reality shows." "Doctor's appointments." "Eight prescription drugs, three times a day." "But worst, worst, worst of all..." "Support group" " You cannot make me." " Of course we can." "We're your parents." "Come on, we've been through this." "You need to go." "You need to make friends, and be a teenager." "Mom, if you want me to be a teenager, you don't send me to support group." "You gotta get me a fake ID so that I can go to clubs... and drink gimlets and take pot." "Uh, you don't "take" pot." "Well, that is the kind of thing I would know with a fake ID." "Can you just get in the car, please?" "And so I went." "Not because I wanted to, or because I thought it would help me... but for the same reason I did anything these days." "To make my parents happy." "I really don't understand why I can't just drive myself." "It's not like you're gonna do anything." "You're just gonna sit here and wait again." "Of course I'm not." "No, I've got stuff to do." "I'm gonna do errands." "Yeah." "I love you." "I love you, too." "Have fun." "The only thing worse than biting it from cancer... is having a kid bite it from cancer." "Hey!" "Make some friends." "Oh, sorry." "I'll take the stairs." "No problem." "Thank you." "Sorry." "My bad." "I'm sorry." "Oh, my God." "So, who would like to start?" "Does anyone want to start?" "Who wants to kick it off?" "Go ahead." "I'm Beth." "I have spindle cell sarcoma." "It's been an okay week." "Isaac, I know that you're facing some challenges right now." "Do you want to share with the group?" "Or maybe your friend, here?" "No, I'll share." "Hey, guys." "Uh..." "Hi, I'm Isaac." "I have retinoblastoma." "We had surgery on one eye when I was younger... so this is a glass eye." "And then I'm going in to the hospital to have another surgery... to take out the other eye." "So, after that surgery, I'm just gonna be totally blind." "But I'm lucky, because I have this beautiful, smoking hot girlfriend... who's way out of my league." "Monica." "And I have great friends like Augustus Waters to help me out." "So, that's what's up." "Thanks." "We're here for you, Isaac." "Thank you." "Your turn, Gus." "Yeah, sure." "Um, I'm Augustus Waters." "I'm 18 years old and I had a touch of osteosarcoma about a year-and-a-half ago." "So, I've lost this baby as a result." "And, uh, now I'm part cyborg, which is awesome." "But, really, I'm just here at Isaac's request." "And how are you feeling, Gus?" "I'm grand, yeah." "I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend." "Maybe you'd like to share your fears with the group?" "My fears?" "Oblivion." "Oblivion?" "Yeah." "You see, I intend to live an extraordinary life." "To be remembered." "So, I'd say if I have any fears, it would be to not do that." "Would anyone else in the group like to speak to that?" "Hazel?" "Unexpected." "I just want to say that there's gonna come a time when all of us are dead." "There was a time before humans and there's gonna be a time after." "It could be tomorrow, it could be a million years from now." "And when it does, there will be no one left... to remember Cleopatra or Muhammad Ali or Mozart... let alone any of us." "Oblivion's inevitable." "And if that scares you, then I suggest you ignore it." "God knows it's what everyone else does." "Well, that's some good advice." "And I like all this because it's really nice to hear everybody..." "Thank you." "Mmm-hmm." "Always." "Always." " Always." " Always." ""Literally."" "I thought we were in a church basement... but apparently we were literally in the heart of Jesus." "Oh, yeah." "What's your name?" "Hazel." "No, what's your full name?" "Hazel Grace Lancaster." "What?" "I didn't say anything." "Why are you looking at me like that?" "Because you're beautiful." "Oh, my God." "I enjoy looking at beautiful people." "See, I decided a while back... not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence." "Particularly, as you so astutely pointed out, we're all gonna die pretty soon." "Okay, well, that's great." "But I am not beautiful." "Hey, Gus." "Hi, Lisa." "I like it when you say it first." "I like it when you say it first." "Okay" "Always." "Always." "What is with the "always"?" ""Always" is, like, their thing." "They'll "always" love each other, and whatnot." "They probably texted "always" to each other 14 million times this year." "He's got to be hurting her boob." "Let's go watch a movie." "What?" "Hmm?" "Huh?" "Um..." "I'm free later this week, we could..." "No, I mean now." "You could be an axe murderer." "There's always that possibility." "Come on, Hazel Grace." "Take a risk." "I don't..." "Really?" "That is disgusting." "What?" "What, do you think that that's cool or something?" "You just ruined this whole thing." "The whole thing?" "Yes, this whole thing!" "Oh, man." "Ugh." "And you were doing really well, too." "God!" "There's always a hamartia, isn't there?" "And yours is even though you had freaking cancer... you're willing to give money to a corporation... for the chance to acquire even more cancer?" "Let me just tell you that not being able to breathe sucks!" "It totally sucks." ""Hamartia"?" "It's a fatal flaw." "Ah, a fatal..." "Hazel Grace, they don't actually hurt you unless you light them." "Hmm?" "I've never lit one." "It's a metaphor, see?" "You put the thing that does the killing right between your teeth... but you never give it the power to kill you." "A metaphor." "Hey, sweetheart." "Is it Top Model time?" "No." "Uh..." "I've made plans with Augustus Waters." "Whoa!" "Oh, my God." "Ooh!" "Yeah, I failed my test a couple times." "You don't say." "Actually, the fourth time I took the test, it was going about how this is going." "And when it was over... the instructor looks over at me, and she says..." ""Your driving, while unpleasant, is not technically unsafe."" "Cancer perk." "Total cancer perk." "So, tell me about you." "Um, I was 13 when they found it." "Pretty much worst-case scenario." "Thyroid, stage four." "Not much they could do." "Which didn't stop them, of course." "Surgery" "Radiation." "Chemo." "More radiation." "All of which worked for a while." "But, then stopped working." "And then one day, my lungs started filling up with water." "Nurse!" "We need a nurse right now!" "I couldn't breathe." "No one could get it under control." "You can let go, sweetie." "Don't be afraid." "That should have been the end." "Oh, my God." "But then something strange happened." "The antibiotics kicked in." "They drained the fluid from my lungs." "I got some strength back." "Next thing I know, I found myself in an experimental trial." "You know, the ones that are famous in the Republic of Cancervania for not working." "It's called Phalanxifor." "It didn't work in over 70% of the patients... but for some reason it's been working for me." "So, they called it "The Miracle."" "Of course, my lungs still suck at being lungs... but, theoretically, they could continue to suck like this... for, I don't know, a while maybe." "So, are you back in school?" "I got my GED, so I'm taking classes at MCC." "Whoa!" "A college girl!" "Well, that explains the aura of sophistication." "Oh!" "Careful!" "Oops." "Welcome to my humble abode." "Uh, my folks call them "encouragements."" "Don't ask." "Hi, guys!" "Hey!" "Augustus, hi." "New friend?" "Yeah." "This is Hazel Grace." "Hey." "Oh, it's just "Hazel."" "How's it going, "Just Hazel"?" "Hi, Hazel, how are you?" "Yeah, we're going downstairs." "Bye." "Nice to meet you, too." "This is it." "Augusto World." "This is my room." "Wow." "It's an impressive collection." "Yeah, I used to play." "Do you mind if I sit down?" "Yeah." "Make yourself at home." "Mi casa es tu casa." "Sorry, the, um, stairs and the standing..." "Yeah, I understand." "Seriously, are you okay?" "Yeah, yeah." "All right." "What's your story?" "I already told you." "I was diagnosed when I was 13..." "No, no, no." "Not your cancer story, your real story." "Your interests, your hobbies, your passions, your weird fetishes." ""Weird fetishes"?" "Think of something." "The first thing that pops in your head." "Something you love." "An Imperial Affliction." "Okay." "What's that?" "It's a novel." "It's my favorite novel." "Wait, does it have zombies in it?" "Zombies?" "No!" "Stormtroopers?" "No, it's not that kind of a book." "Okay, what's it about?" "Uh, cancer." "It's about cancer?" "But not like that." "Trust me, it's amazing." "The author, his name is Peter Van Houten." "He's the only person I've ever come across in my life... who, A, understands what it's like to be dying... but, B, hasn't actually died." "Okay" "I will read this horrible book with this very boring title... that does not include zombies or Stormtroopers." "And in exchange you will read this." "This haunting, yet brilliant novelization of my favorite video game." ""Counterinsurgence."" "Yeah, don't laugh." "It's awesome." "It's about honor, and sacrifice, and bravery, and heroism." "It's about embracing your destiny, and leaving a mark on the world." "Well, thank you." "Wait, your hands are so cold." "Well, they're not so much cold as just under-oxygenated." "Hazel Grace?" "Hmm?" "I love it when you talk medical to me." "That's different." "Did he give it to you?" "By "it," do you mean herpes?" "Wow." "Yes, I did." "It's a mother's dream." "Hey, don't worry." "Oh, my God, Mom." "I'm not worried." "It's not a big deal." "Yeah." "We just hung out, it's not like I'm waiting for him to call me." " Is that what... ?" "Yeah" "Because I thought those were peppers." "Today, in China," "International Goji Berry Day." "Isn't that great?" "I like the color." "Mmm-hmm." "This is the dry." "Uh-huh." "Very good." "They're good, right?" "Mmm-hmm." "So, do they eat a lot of goji berries on Goji Berry Day?" "I did something with the dessert... just to try to keep the goji berry theme going." "Because they're an amazing antioxidant." "Well, I like it." "We should do it every year." "Every year." "We should do it every year." "I know." "I really do like these." "Honey, would you like to be excused?" "What?" "Hazel Grace." "Welcome to the sweet torture of reading An Imperial Affliction." "But now I'm breaking all the rules!" "Are you okay?" "And now I'm breaking all the rules" "Uh..." "Me?" "Yeah, I am excellent." "I am, however, with Isaac, and..." "Isaac, does Support Group Hazel make this better or worse?" "I've been wasting all my time" "Isaac!" "Focus on me." "Been wasting all my time" "How fast can you get here?" "Um..." "Great." "Well, the door's open." "I gotta run." "Bye." "Hello?" "Hazel." "Isaac, Hazel Grace from the Support Group is here." " Hi." " Hi." "Uh..." "A gentle reminder..." "Isaac's in the midst of a psychotic episode right now." "You look really nice, by the way." "I like this color on you." "Thank you." "Isaac." "Isaac, Hazel's here." "Hey, Isaac." "Hey, Hazel." "How you doing?" "I'm doing okay." "It seems Isaac and Monica are no longer a going concern." "Oh, Isaac, I'm so sorry." "Do you want to talk about it?" "No, I just want to cry and play video games." "However, you know, it doesn't hurt to talk to him... if you have any sage words of feminine advice." "I actually think that his response is fairly appropriate." ""Pain demands to be felt."" "You're quoting my book." "She said she wanted to break up with me before the surgery... because she couldn't handle it." "I'm about to lose my eyesight, and she can't handle it." "I kept saying "always" to her." "Like, "Always."" "And she kept talking over me and not saying it back, and..." "It was like I was gone already, you know?" "You know, sometimes... people don't understand the promises that they're making when they make them." "I know, but..." "I feel like such a loser." "I still have her necklace on." "Take it off." "Dude, take that off." "Yeah." "Here we go, man." "Here we go." "I just want to kick something." "Don't hit that, don't hit that." "Uh..." "Hit this." "Sorry." "I've been wanting to call you for a few days now... but I've been waiting until I could form a coherent thought about An Imperial Affliction." "One second." "Isaac." "Pillows don't break." "You need to break something." "Try this." "The trophy?" "Yeah." "Are you sure?" "I've been looking for a way to tell my father I kind of hate basketball." "Go to town!" "Always!" "An Imperial Affliction." "Yes." "I'm so glad that you liked it." "Yes, I did." "But the ending." "I know." "It is rather abrupt." ""Rather abrupt"?" "Are you kidding?" "It's evil!" "I mean, I understand that she dies... but there's an unwritten contract between author and..." "Gus?" "Yeah?" "Cool?" "Sure." "Between author and reader." "And I feel like ending your book in the middle of a sentence... violates that contract, don't you think?" "Okay, yes." "I know what you mean... but, to be completely honest," "I think it's just so truthful." "You just die in the middle of life." "You die in the middle of a sentence." "And, I don't know..." "But I really would like to know what happens to everyone after Anna dies." "Like Anna's mother." "Yes, and the Dutch Tulip Man." "And Sisyphus the Hamster." "Yes!" "Have you tried contacting this Peter Van Houten fellow?" "I've written him so many letters, but he's never responded." "Apparently, he moved to Amsterdam and became a recluse, and..." "Shame." "Yeah." "Isaac"." "You feeling better, buddy?" "That's the thing about pain." "It demands to be felt." "I'll help you clean this up." "Hazel Grace." "Augustus Waters." "I cannot stop thinking about this goddamn book." "You're welcome." "However, we do need closure, don't you think?" "That is exactly what I was asking" "Van Houten for in my letters." "But he never responded." "Um, nope." ""Dear Mr. Waters..." ""I am writing to thank you for your electronic correspondence." ""I am grateful to anyone who sets aside the time..." ""to read my book."" "Augustus?" "Yes?" "What are you doing?" "I may have found..." "Van Houten's assistant, emailed her." "Augustus!" "She may have forwarded that email on to Van Houten." "Shall I continue?" "Oh, my God." "Yeah, go, go, go!" ""I am particularly indebted to you, sir."" "Hazel Grace, he just called me "sir."" "Augustus, keep reading, keep reading!" ""Both for your kind words about An Imperial Affliction..." ""and for taking the time..." ""to tell me that the book, and here I quote you directly..." ""'meant a great deal to you and your friend Hazel Grace."." "You did not!" "You did not!" "You did not, you did not!" "Of course I did." ""To answer your question, no, I have not written anything else, nor will I." ""I do not feel like continuing to share my thoughts with readers..." ""would benefit either them or me." ""However, thank you..." ""for your generous email." ""Yours most sincerely, Peter Van Houten."" "So, yeah, that just happened." "Oh, my God." "I've been trying to tell you, I'm kind of awesome." "Do you think that I..." "Check your inbox." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God, Augustus." "I'm freaking out." "I'm freaking out." "Dear Mr. Peter Van Houten, my name is Hazel Grace Lancaster." "My friend Augustus Waters... who read your book at my recommendation... just received an email from you at this address." "I hope you will not mind that he shared that email with me." "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind answering a few questions I have... about what happens after the end of the book." "Specifically the following." "Does Anna's mom marry the Dutch Tulip Man?" "And is the Dutch Tulip Man up to something... or is he just completely misunderstood?" "Lastly, I was hoping you could shed some light on Sisyphus the Hamster." "These questions have haunted me for years... and I don't know how long I have left to get answers to them." "I know that these are not important literary questions..." ""and that your book is full of important literary questions..." ""but I would just really like to know." ""And, of course, if you ever do decide to write anything else..." ""I would love to read it." ""Frankly, I'd read your grocery lists." ""Yours, with great admiration, Hazel Grace Lancaster."" "Not bad." "You think?" "Yeah, I mean, it's a bit pretentious... but then again, Van Houten uses words like "tendentious"" "and "Bacchanalia, " so..." "I think he'll like it." "Is it really 1:00 AM?" "Is it?" "Yeah, I guess it is." "I should probably go to sleep." "Okay" "Okay" "Okay" "Okay" "Perhaps "okay" will be our "always."" "Okay" "Oh, my God." ""Dear Ms. Lancaster..." ""I cannot answer your questions, at least not in writing..." ""because to do so would constitute a sequel..." ""which you might publish or otherwise share on the internet." ""Not that I don't trust you, but how could I trust you?" ""I barely know you." ""Should ever you find yourself in Amsterdam," ""do pay a visit at your leisure."" "What?" ""Yours most sincerely, Peter Van Houten."" "Oh, my God!" "What is this life?" "Hazel?" "Mom!" "Hazel, what's wrong?" "Mom, look at this." "Come here." "Come here, come here." "Look." "What?" "Yeah." "Peter Van Houten!" "Look what he said!" ""Should ever you find yourself in Amsterdam"!" "I have to go!" "That's incredible." "He invited us to Amsterdam." "Amsterdam!" "Wow!" "Can We go?" "I mean, do you think we could actually go?" "I mean, Amsterdam!" "I want you to have everything you want in the world." "But we don't have the money, you know?" "Just getting all the equipment over there." "How do we do that?" "Yeah, duh." "I'm sorry." "Hey, you, I am so sorry." "It's okay." "Why don't you just ask the Genies?" "Use your wish." "I already used it." "Pre-Miracle." "What'd you use it on?" "Not Disney." "Hazel Grace, you did not go to Disney World." "You did not use your last dying wish..." "I was 13." "...to go to Disney World." "And Epcot Center." "Oh, my God." "It was actually a really fun trip!" "That's the saddest thing I've ever heard." "I met Goofy!" "Now I'm just embarrassed." "Why are you embarrassed?" "I can't believe I have a crush on a girl with such cliche wishes." "Terrible." "You coming?" "The most important thing in any MRI... is to lie completely still." "But that day, it was almost impossible." "Hey, Gus!" "How are you?" "Hi, Mrs. Lancaster." "Hey." "Rik Smits jersey?" "Yeah, it is indeed." "I loved that guy." "I'm Augustus Waters." "Nice to meet you." "I'm Michael." "It's good to see you." "Hi, Mrs. Lancaster." "Good to see you." "Hi, Hazel Grace." "Hi." "How would you like to go on a picnic with me?" "Um, I would love to go on a picnic with you." "Shall we?" "No." "Let me..." "I smell like hospital, so I should just change." "So, uh... you're a survivor yourself, huh?" "Yeah." "I didn't cut this fellow off for the hell of it." "Although it does make an excellent weight-loss strategy." "Legs are very heavy." "How's your health now?" "It's great." "NEC for 14 months." "Really?" "Yeah." "That's fantastic." "Yeah." "I'm very lucky." "Hey, listen, Gus." "You have to understand, Hazel's still pretty sick." "And she will be the rest of her life." "And she's gonna want to keep up with you." "She's that kind of girl." "But the truth is, her lungs..." "Ready, Gus?" "Yeah." "All right." "See you soon." "All right." "Oh!" "Such a beautiful day." "Yeah." "Is this where you take all of your romantic conquests?" "Every last one of them." "That's probably why I'm still a virgin." "You are not still a virgin." "Are you really?" "Let me show you something." "See this circle?" "That is a circle of virgins." "Uh-huh." "And this... is 18-year-old dudes with one leg." "Oh..." "So, yeah." "Funky Bones by Jeep Van Lieshout." "He sounds quite Dutch." "And he is." "Much like Rik Smits." "And tulips." "Sandwich?" "Let me guess." "Dutch cheese and tomato." "Sorry, the tomatoes are Mexican." "How dare you!" "Hmm." "How cool is this?" "They're using a skeleton as a playground." "Think about that." "You do love your symbols." "Speaking of which, you're probably wondering... why you're sitting here eating a bad cheese sandwich... and drinking orange juice with a guy in a Rik Smits jersey." "It actually has crossed my mind." "Well, Hazel Grace, like so many before you... and listen, I say this with the utmost of affection... you used your wish moronically." "Okay, we've been through this." "I was 13." "Hush!" "lam in the midst of a grand soliloquy, here." "You were young, impressionable... the Grim Reaper staring you right in the face... and it led you to rush into making a wish you didn't really want." "But, how could little Hazel Grace, having never read An Imperial Affliction... know that her one true wish was to visit Mr. Peter Van Houten... in his Amsterdam exile." "But I didn't save it, so..." "It's a good thing I saved mine." "So, you're saying..." "I'm not gonna give you my wish or anything, Hazel." "If that's what you're thinking." "However..." "I, too, have an interest in meeting this Mr. Peter Van Houten... and I don't really think it would make much sense... to meet him without the girl who introduced me to the book in the first place... now, would it?" "So I talked to the Genies, and they're all for it." "We leave in a month." "No." "Mmm-hmm." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "Augustus!" "Thank you!" "Apparently, they..." "I don't know if they do this that often, but they're willing to bring me, too, and..." "That's incredible." "Hazel, that's so beautiful." "I know." "And a little insane." "Oh, it's super insane." "It's..." "It's..." "It's..." "It's crazy!" "Well..." "It's Amsterdam!" "He just met you..." "I know!" "...and he's giving you his wish." "Well, we're sharing the wish." "We're..." "I mean, he..." "He..." "Yeah." "We're sharing it." "That's sweet." "Unless..." "What?" "Is he your boyfriend?" "Is that..." "Stop it!" "Do not..." "He is not my..." "Mom, focus, we're talking about Amsterdam." "I like him so much." "I..." "Stop." "Pay attention." "Please!" "Can I go?" "Right, as your mom, I love this idea." "And I..." "I think we should talk to Dr. Maria." "Okay" "I don't know." "But you said that the PET scan was encouraging." "Well, the PET scan is encouraging, but we don't know how long it will stay that way." "Okay, I'm not seeking political asylum." "It's a few days." "It's a vacation!" "It's true." "What if you get sick?" "In a foreign country?" "They have doctors in Amsterdam." "And cancer." "Well, not all cancers are alike, and yours is particularly unusual, Hazel." "The only way I could ever authorize a trip like this would be if someone familiar with your case..." "What if my mom came?" "Wait, what?" "What if you came?" "I'm..." "I'm sure the Genies would hook it up." "They're loaded." "That just might work." "HAZEL"." "And then this happened." "Hey" "Hi." "Hey." "You're okay." "So, what happened?" "The usual." "Fluid in the lungs preventing oxygenation." "They put a tube in." "They drained a liter and a half last night." "The good news is... no tumor growth." "No new tumors in your body." "We're so relieved." "This is just a thing, Hazel." "It's a thing we can live with." "Mr. Lancaster." "How's she doing?" "Better." "Yeah, thank you." "Much, much better." "Uh, they won't let me in." "It's family only." "Yeah, sorry." "Yeah, I get it." "Um..." "Could you just tell her I was here?" "Yeah, of course." "Of course I will." "Okay." "Gus, listen, why don't you go home?" "Get some rest." "Okay" "Normally, the tumors start resisting the treatment... and that hasn't happened here..." "Yet." "On the other hand... the drug may be worsening the edema." "The truth is... very few people have been on Phalanxifor as long as Hazel has." "We really don't know the long-term effects." "What we're trying to do is prevent endothelial growth... which, when overexpressed, can contribute to disease, decay... vascular inhibition... and the spread of the tumors we're working so hard to eradicate." "The survival rate of patients with severe endothelial growth... decreases exponentially the more the condition advances." "You can let go, sweetie." "Don't be afraid." "Oh, my God." "I'm not gonna be a mom anymore." "I have a question." "Yes, Hazel?" "Can I still go to Amsterdam?" "That would not be wise at this juncture." "Why not?" "ls there any way we can make that trip happen?" "It would increase some risks." "But so does going to the mall." "Yes, but an airplane?" "But they have oxygen on airplanes." "You're stage four." "This is an opportunity that I may never get again." "Even" "If the medication is working, I don't understand why I can't..." "Perhaps there's a scenario..." "No." "I don't know any other way to say this, Hazel." "You're just too sick." "I'm sorry." "MICHAEL;" "Hello?" "Yeah, just a sec." "Hi." "Gus... again." "Sorry, she's asleep." "Yeah." "Uh, okay." "All right." "Bye-bye." "I know what you're thinking." "It's not fair to him." "It's not." "He doesn't need this in his life." "Nobody does." "A lot more trouble than it's worth." "No, you're right." "Your mom and I were just saying the same thing." "I mean, it could be time we tossed you out on the street." "Drop you off in an orphanage somewhere, make you their problem." "I'm serious." "We're not sentimental people." "Hazel Grace." "Hi, Augustus." "Are you okay?" "No." "What's the matter?" "Talk to me." "I don't know." "Everything." "I want to go to Amsterdam, Gus." "And I want Van Houten to tell us what happens after his book." "I also don't really want this particular life." "I mean, it's really just the sky." "The sky is making me sad." "And there's this pathetic old swing set... that my dad built for me when I was a kid and..." "It's just everything, I guess." "Well, I demand to see this swing set of tears." "I do see your point." "This is one sad swing set." "Hazel Grace, I hope you realize... that you trying to keep your distance from me in no way lessens my affection for you." "All your efforts to keep me from you are gonna fail." "Look." "Uh..." "I like you." "And I like hanging out with you and everything... but I can't let this go on any further." "Why not?" "Because I don't want to hurt you." "I wouldn't mind." "No, you don't understand." "I do understand." "You don't understand." "I know what you're trying to say." "Hazel, I'm saying I wouldn't mind." "It'd be a privilege to have my heart broken by you." "Gus, I'm a grenade." "One day I'm gonna explode... and I'm gonna obliterate everything in my wake and..." "I don't know, I feel like it's my responsibility... to minimize the casualties." "A grenade?" "I mean, that's why I don't have a hamster." "Well, we gotta do something about this frickin' swing set." "Okay" ""Swing set needs home."" ""Desperately lonely swing set" ""needs loving home."" ""Lonely, vaguely pedophilia swing set" ""seeks the butts of children."" "No." "No." "No?" "No?" "I like it." "That's why." "In case you're wondering, that's why I like you, Hazel Grace." "You're just so busy being you, you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are." "You can't say stuff like that." "What?" "That's howl speak to all my friends." "I know, I know." "Friends." "Friends." "Friends!" "You can't do that!" ""Dear Hazel, received word via the Genies that you will..." ""you'll be visiting us with Augustus Waters" ""and your mother on the fourth."" "Mom?" "Yeah?" "Mom!" "What's wrong?" "Sorry." "No, I was just taking a bath." "Did you email the Genies to tell them that the trip was off?" "Because Van Houten's assistant just emailed me... and she said that she thinks we're still coming." "What?" "I was supposed to tell you with your dad." "Mom." "We're going to Amsterdam." "You're se-..." "We're going to Amsterdam?" "We're going to Amsterdam." "We figured the whole thing out." "We're going." "Doctor Maria, everybody knows." "But only for three days, not six." "Oh, my God." "But everything." "An oncologist is set there." "Everything." "We're just so good." "I love you." "I love you so much." "I love you." "Here, sit down." "We're going to Amsterdam." "We're going to Amsterdam." "We're going to Amsterdam." "You can come talk to me." "You've got a phone call to make." "Call him!" "Okay, lungs, you keep your shit together for one week." "You got it?" "One more week." "Oh." "Oh, wait, the food." "What did you forget?" "Do you have my passport?" "Yeah, I've got it." "It's like I said to the Genies..." ""I travel in style, or I don't travel at all."" "Mom, we're going to Amsterdam!" "We are going to Amsterdam, right now." "Hello, Lancasters." "Gus." "Hey." "Nice to see you." "I'll take that, sir." "Gus, you're so inventive!" "Okay, Hazel Grace?" "Okay!" "What's in your nose?" "Jackie!" "I'm really sorry about that." "No, it's totally fine." "It's called a "cannula." And it helps me breathe." "See this little friend right here?" "He feeds oxygen through your tube." "Will it help me breath, too?" "Maybe." "Do you want to try it?" "Okay" "Come here." "There ya go." "It tickles!" "Wow, yeah, that's something." "I think I'm breathing better." "I would love to give it to you, but I kind of could use the help." "Thanks for letting me try it." "You're welcome." "All right, Jackie, let's go." "Thank you." "Take care." "Bye." "Flight 1721 is now prepared to begin boarding at gate 46..." "I think that's us." "That's us." "We are going to Amsterdam!" "Oh, my God." "Come on, help me." "What, are they wet?" "Wet hands." "I'm sorry about that." "Gross!" "Get outta here!" "Stop it!" "Have you never been on a plane before?" "No." "It's exciting." "Sir?" "Uh-huh?" "There's no smoking on this plane." "Or any plane." "I don't smoke." "Yeah, it's just a metaphor." "He puts the killing thing in his mouth... but he doesn't actually give it the power to kill him." "Well, that metaphor, it's prohibited on today's flight." "Flight attendants, prepare for take off, please." "Thanks." "Okay?" "Gus, this is what it's like to drive in a car with you." "Ha-ha-ha-ha..." "Oh..." "Oh!" "Oh, my God, we're flying." "We're flying!" "Look at the ground!" "Look." "Nothing has ever looked like this in all of human history!" "Look at the cars." "They're like..." "You two are so adorable." "We're just friends." "Well, she is, I'm not." "Oh, my!" "Whoa!" "Get away from her, you bitch!" "Look at this, Hazel." "This is so crazy." "Whoa." "What?" "Look at the stained glass." "It's amazing." "Oh, I'm gonna check us in." "We better get you dressed... because you have reservations for two tonight, for dinner at Oranjee." "Oh." "And it says, "Enjoy." "Mr. Peter Van Houten."" "So, I looked it up and it sounds amazing." "The guide book says it's fancy and very romantic." "Right." "Fancy..." "Oh, God." "But, okay, what will you wear?" "Is that for me?" "Oh, my God." "It's so beautiful." "I'm just saying." "You're just saying?" "What, you're saying that you're totally fine... with your teenage daughter running free with an older boy... in a city that's famous for its vice and debauchery is totally fine with you?" "Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what I'm saying." "Gus!" "Oh, you look so handsome!" "Thank you, ma'am." "Wow." "Hazel, Gus is here... looking incredible!" "I hear this restaurant is unbelievable." "Wow." "What?" "You look gorgeous." "Thanks." "Whoa!" "Wow." "This is it." "Oranjee." "Yeah, this is it." "Oh, yeah." "Your table, Mr. and Mrs. Waters." "Thank you." "Thanks, Gus." "You are very welcome." "The champagne is our gift." "Enjoy." "Thank you." "Good evening." "Voilà." "Okay, Okay?" "Whoa." "That is amazing." "Do you know what Dom Pérignon said after he invented champagne?" ""Come quickly," he said." ""I'm tasting the stars."" "Welcome to Oranjee." "Would you like a menu, or will you have the chef's choice?" "Chef's choice sounds wonderful." " Mmm." " And, sir, um... something tells me we're gonna need a little bit more of this." "We have bottled all the stars for you this evening, my young friends." " Ooh!" " I think that's ours." "Dragon carrot risotto for the lady." "Thank you." "And for the gentleman." "Thank you." "Enjoy." "Mmm." "I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person... so that I can take it to Vegas and marry it." "I like your suit." "Thank you." "It's the first time I've ever worn it." "That's not the suit you wear to funerals?" "No." "That one is not nearly this nice." "When I first got sick... they told me I had an 85 percent chance of being cancer-free." "Great odds." "But that meant a year of torture, the loss of my leg... and, still, a 15 percent chance it might fail." "Just before the surgery..." "I asked my parents if I could buy a really nice suit." "So, it's your death suit." "That's what it is." "I have one of those." "I got it for my fifteenth birthday." "A dress." "I don't necessarily think I'd wear it on a date, though." "So, we're on a date?" "Hey, you watch it." "We are Mr. And Mrs. Waters." "Oh." "That's just because she can't speak English." "We should be, though, if they ask." "You know?" "Remember what you said about Vegas?" "Yeah." "Do you think I could join in on that deal?" "God?" "Maybe." "How about angels?" "Mmm, no." "Afterlife?" "Mmm..." "No." "Well, maybe." "I don't know." "I guess I wouldn't go as far as to say "no"... but I would like some evidence." "What about you?" "Absolutely." "Really?" "I mean, not like a heaven where you ride on a unicorn all day... and live in a mansion made of clouds... but yes, I definitely believe in something." "I mean, otherwise... what's the point?" "Maybe there is no point." "I won't accept that." "I am in love with you." "You heard me." "Augustus..." "I am in love with you." "And I know that love is just a shout into the void... and that oblivion is inevitable." "And that we're all doomed... and that one day... all of our labors will be returned to dust." "And I know that the sun will swallow the only Earth we will ever have." "And I am in love with you." "Sorry." "More stars?" "No, thank you." "I think we'll just have the check." "No, sir." "Your meal has been paid by Mr. Van Houten." "What?" "I don't really get that shirt." "Mmm." "But Van Houten will get it." "There are, like, fifty Magritte references in An Imperial Affliction." ""This is not a pipe."" "But it is a pipe." "But it's not." "It is a drawing of a pipe." "See?" "A drawing of a thing is not the thing itself." "Nor is a T-shirt of a drawing of a thing, the thing itself." "Hey, you." "When did you get so grown up?" "Who's ready for some answers?" "Me!" "This is it." "I'm so excited, I can barely breathe." "As opposed to normal?" "Get out of here." "Lidewij?" "Hi!" "Hi, I'm Augustus." "Lidewij." "Hazel." "Please, come in." "Thank you." "Peter!" "They're here!" "Who the hell is "they," Lidewij?" "They are Augustus and Hazel... the young fans with whom you've been corresponding." "The Americans?" "You invited them." "Please, come in." "You know why I left America, Lidewij." "To never have to encounter Americans." "You're American." "Incurably so." "Get rid of them." "I will not do this, Peter." "Please, be nice." "Come in, please." "Sorry, let me clear this for you." "Thank you." "Which of you is Augustus Waters?" "I am." "And that's Hazel." "Mr. Van Houten, thank you so much for writing back to us." "Clearly an error in judgment." "Yours are the first missives to which I've replied, and look where it got me." "Scotch?" "Uh..." "No, thank you." "Just me, then, Lidewij." "Another scotch and soda, please." "Perhaps some breakfast first, Peter?" "She thinks I have a drinking problem." "I also think the Earth is round." "So, you like my book." "We love your book." "Yeah." "We love it." "Augustus..." "He made his wish meeting you so that we could talk." " No pressure." " Yeah." "Did you dress like her on purpose?" "Kind of." "And, incidentally, sir, we both really wanted to thank you for dinner last night." "And for the champagne." "It was amazing." "It was magical." "We bought them dinner last night?" "It was our pleasure." "You've come a long way." "What can I do for you?" "We have some questions... obviously, about what happens at the end of your book." "Uh, specifically to those who Anna leaves behind." "Like her mom, the Dutch Tulip Man..." "How familiar are you with Swedish hip-hop?" "I would say, limited." "Uh, Lidewij, play Bomfalleralla immediately." "Okay" "We don't speak Swedish, sir." "Who the hell speaks Swedish?" "The important thing is not what nonsense the voices are saying... but what the voices are feeling." "Are you messing with us?" "Like, is this some sort of performance?" "Gus, sit down." "All right, so at the end of the book, Anna's..." "Let's imagine you're racing a tortoise." "The tortoise has a ten-yard head start." "In the time it takes you to run ten yards... the tortoise has moved maybe one yard, and so on, forever." "You're faster than the tortoise, but you can never catch him, you see?" "You can only decrease his lead." "Now, certainly, you can run past the tortoise... as long as you don't contemplate the mechanics involved." "But the question of "how?"" "turns out to be so complicated... that no one really solved it... until Cantor's proof that some infinities are bigger than other infinities." "I assume that answers your question." "Hazel, I'm sorry." "I have no idea what's going on." "Yet you seemed so intelligent in print, Mr. Waters." "Has the cancer found its way into your brain?" "Peter." "Can we, for one second, just focus on Anna?" "Please?" "I understand that the story ends in the middle of a sentence... because she dies, or that she becomes too sick to continue..." "I am not interested in talking about that book." "But that doesn't mean that her family and friends don't have a future, right?" "Right?" "I said I'm not interested." "But you promised!" "Nothing happens!" "They're fiction!" "They cease to exist the moment the novel ends." "But they can't!" "I get it in a literary sense or whatever, but..." "I can't do this, Lidewij." "It's impossible not to imagine what..." "I will not indulge your childish whims." "I refuse to pity you in the manner in which you are accustomed." "I do not want your pity!" "VAN Of course you do!" "Like all sick kids, your existence depends on it." "You are fated to live out your days..." "Peter!" "...as the child you were when diagnosed." "A child who believes there is a life after a novel ends." "And we as adults, we pity this." "So, we pay for your treatments, your oxygen machines." "Peter, that's enough." "You are a side-effect to an evolutionary process... that cares little for individual lives." "You are a failed experiment in mutation." "Listen, douchepants... there is nothing that you're gonna tell me about my disease... that I don't already know." "I came here for one thing and one thing only." "That is for you to tell me what happens at the end of this goddamn book!" "I can't tell you." "Bullshit!" "I can't." "Then make something up!" "I want you to leave." "Have you ever stopped to ask yourself... why you care so much about your silly questions?" "Oh, go fuck yourself." "Hey, it's okay." "It's okay." "I'll write you a sequel." "All right?" "I'll write you a sequel." "It'll be better than any piece of shit that drunk guy could write." "It'll have blood, and guts, and sacrifice." "You'll love it." "So sorry that I spent your wish on that asshole." "No, you did not spend it on him." "You spent it on us." "Hazel and Augustus!" "I'm very sorry." "Circumstance has made him cruel." "I thought meeting you would help him... that he could see that his work has shaped real lives." "But..." "I'm very sorry." "Perhaps we can do some sightseeing?" "Have you been to the Anne Frank house?" "I'm not going anywhere with that man." "No." "He is not invited." "I'm afraid there's no elevator." "Oh." "That's all right." "There are many stairs." "Steep stairs." "I can do it." "Hazel, we don't have to..." "I can do it." "Let's go." "Frank's family came from Frankfurt, in Germany." "Anne Frank's diary would become world famous." "It's difficult in times like these." "It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals." "They seem so absurd and impractical... yet I cling to them because I still believe... in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart." "It's utterly impossible for me to build my life..." "Shall we?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "Hazel, I'll carry it if you want." "I got it." "Wow." "So this is the actual bookcase that hid the Frank family." "Whoa." "I got it." "Thank you." "We're much too young to deal with these problems... but they keep thrusting themselves on us... until, finally, we're forced to think up a solution." "You okay, Hazel?" "Yeah." "Don't worry, take your time." "Sorry." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "And yet, when I look up at the sky..." "I somehow feel that everything will change for the better." "That this cruelty, too, will end." "You Okay?" "Yeah." "Hazel, I think that's enough." "You don't need..." "You know?" "Uh-huh." "I got this." "All is as it should be." "God wishes to see people happy." "Where there is hope..." "Hazel." "...there is life." "Well done." "Yeah." "You Okay?" "Yeah." "This is it, look." "All right?" "Oh, yeah." "Oh, my God." "Thanks." "The only member of the Frank family to survive was Otto." "Anne's father." "At such moments I can't think about the misery... but about the beauty that still remains." "Try to recapture the happiness within yourself." "Think of all the beauty in everything around you... and be happy." "Bravo." "I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep." "Slowly, and then all at once." "It just sort of ends right above where the knee would be... and tapers off." "What?" "My leg." "You know, just so you're prepared." "Gus... get over yourself." "Wait." "I can't, it's stuck." "I love you so much, Augustus Waters." "I love you too, Hazel Grace." "So, so much." "Augustus, I can't breathe." "It's okay." "Hazel." "You're so beautiful." "Stop." "No, you're so beautiful." "I'm so lucky." "I'm so lucky." "Oh, my God." "I can't believe you called him "douchepants."" " I know!" " You did?" "How did you come up with that?" "I don't know, it just came out." "I was so angry." "What a monster." "Mom, it was awful." "Then what happened?" "We went to Anne Frank House." "Oh, you did?" "It was really awesome." "Was that incredible?" "It was so awesome." "And after that?" "We just walked around." "That sounds lovely." "Oh, my gosh, we probably still have a few hours, right?" "Should we go to the Van Gogh Museum?" "Whatever you want." "Probably don't have time to do everything, but..." "You're just gonna have to come back, is all." "Could you just not be ridiculous right now, please?" "Hazel, I'm not being ridiculous." "I'm being positive." "Mrs. Lancaster?" "Yeah?" "Do you think Hazel and I can just have a little time alone?" "Sure, Gus." "Um, lam gonna run to the room... and be ready whenever you guys want to do something." "Want to go for a walk?" "What is it?" "Just before you went into the hospital, there was this..." "I felt an ache in my hip." "So, I had a PET scan... and it lit up like a Christmas tree." "The lining of my chest and my liver..." "Everywhere." "I'm sorry." "I should've told you." "It's so unfair." "Apparently, the world is not a wish-granting factory." "Hey, listen." "Don't you worry about me, Hazel Grace, okay?" "I'm gonna find a way to hang around here and annoy you for a long time." "Are you in pain?" "No." "I'm okay." "You're okay?" "Okay" "I don't suppose you can just forget about this?" "You know, just treat me like I'm not dying." "I don't think you're dying, Augustus." "You've just got a touch of cancer." "Would it be absolutely ludicrous... if we just made out?" "Right now?" "Probably." "On..." "So how are your eyes, Isaac?" "They're good." "They're not in my head, is the only problem." "Besides that..." "Well, um, it appears my entire body's made out of cancer now." "So, sorry to one-up you, dude." "Did you, uh..." "write his eulogy yet?" "Dude." "What?" "What?" "I haven't told her yet, Isaac." "What are you talking about?" "Oh." "Sorry." "Augustus?" "I need speakers at my funeral." "So, I was hoping that you and Isaac, but mostly you... would be, um, kind enough to whip something up." "I would love to do that." "Thank you." "You guys are cute." "Makes me sick." "You guys are gross." "Have you heard from Monica?" "Nope, not a thing." "She hasn't even texted you to make sure you're okay?" "Not once." "I hate that girl." "But there are tons of other girls." "You guys don't have to worry about me." "In support group, there's this new girl... and she has these humongous..." "How do you even know that?" "I'm blind, but I'm not that blind." "Hazel Grace?" "Hmm." "Do you happen to have five dollars?" "Okay, so, now what?" "Hey, guys?" "I smell eggs." "That eggs?" "Is it there?" "It's there." "Mmm-hmm." "I'm nervous." "Nervous?" "Is Monica in there?" "It doesn't matter where Monica is." "This is not about Monica." "This is about you." "Okay." "Can I have an egg?" "Hazel Grace... egg me." "Egged." "Isaac." "All right, here we go." " You got this." " All right." "Come on." "I didn't hear anything." "It's all right." "A little more to your left." "Wait, throw to my left, or should I aim a little left?" "Aim left." "Okay." "Left-er." "Gus, I think we should wait until dark." "It's all dark to Isaac." "Dude, I'm not deaf." "I'm just blind." "So I can hear when you make fun of my disability." "I'm sorry." "And I don't love it." "Where do I throw?" "Just throw hard." "Yes." "Yes!" "Yeah!" "What?" "What?" "I hit it!" "I hit it!" "Now I know exactly where to line it up." "That was so exhilarating!" "Keep it going- Keep going" "Keep throwing, keep throwing." "Give me more, give me more, give me more!" "Oh!" "Oh, Stop, stop, stop!" "Isaac." "Oh." "Hello." "Are you Monica's mother?" "I am." "Hello, ma'am." "Your daughter, she's done a great injustice." "So we've come here seeking revenge." "You see, we may not look like much... but between the three of us, we have five legs, four eyes... and two-and-a-half working pairs of lungs." "But we also have two dozen eggs... so if I were you, I would go back inside." "Dude, it actually worked?" "Yep." "That was the stupidest speech I've ever..." "That actually worked?" "There you go." "Hold on." "This feels so good!" "Augustus?" "Hazel Grace." "Hi." "Oh, my God." "Hi, hi." "I love you." "I'm at the gas station." "You're what?" "Something is wrong." "You gotta..." "Can you come?" "Can you come and help me?" "Gus!" "Gus." "Babe, what's going on?" "Look." "Gus, it's infected." "Take a deep breath." "Gus, I have to call somebody." "No, no." "Please don't call 9-1-1." "Please." "Don't call my parents or 9..." "I will never forgive you if you call them." "Gus, what are you doing here?" "What are you doing here?" "I wanted to buy cigarettes." "I don't know what happened to my pack." "I might have lost it or something, or they took it, but I just..." "I wanted to do something for myself, you know?" "I wanted to do it myself." "I have to call 9-1-1." "No!" "I have to." "No!" "Hi, 9-1-1?" "Um, we need an ambulance." "I hate myself!" "My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster." "Please hurry." "We're in a silver Jeep at the gas station." "I wish I could say that Augustus Waters kept his sense of humor until the end." "That not for a single moment did his courage waver." "But that is not what happened." "It hurts so much." "I'm so stupid." "Baby, it's okay." "It's okay." "Hazel?" "Will you tell me a story?" "A story?" "Or, like, a poem?" "I do know..." "I..." "I know a poem." "Will you tell me it?" "The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams." ""So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow" ""Glazed with rain water" ""beside the white chickens."" "That's it?" "Is that all?" "No, no, no, of course not." "Of course not." ""So much depends upon..." "A blue sky" ""Cut open by the branches of trees" ""And so much depends upon the..." "The transparent G-tube" ""erupting from the belly of the blue-lipped boy" ""So much depends" ""on this observer of the universe"" "How's he doing?" "He's had a tough night, Hazel." "His blood pressure's low." "His heart..." "What about the chemo?" "They are gonna stop the chemo." "Can I see him?" "We'll tell him you were here." "Yeah." "Okay." "Yeah." "I'm just gonna hang out for a while, if you don't mind." "Yeah, of course." "Take your time." "Here we go, bud." "Good?" "All right, sweetie." "Okay" "Hi." "What are you thinking about?" "Oblivion." "I know it's kid's stuff or whatever, but..." "I always thought I would be a hero." "I always thought I'd have a grand story to tell." "You know, something they would publish in all the papers, and..." "I mean, I was supposed to be special." "You are special, Augustus." "Yeah, I know." "But... you know what I mean." "I do know what you mean, I just don't agree with you." "You know this obsession you have with being remembered?" "Don't get mad." "I am mad." "I'm mad because I think you're special." "And is that not enough?" "You think that the only way to lead a meaningful life... is for everyone to remember you, for everyone to love you." "Guess what, Gus." "This is your life, okay?" "This is all you get." "You get me, and you get your family, and you get this world, and that's it." "And if that's not enough for you, then I'm sorry, but it's not nothing." "Because I love you." "And I'm gonna remember you." "I'm sorry." "You're right." "I just wish you would be happy with that." "Hey" "It's a good life, Hazel Grace." "It's not over yet, you know." "Oh, Augustus." "One of the less bullshitty conventions of the cancer genre... is the convention known as the "Last Good Day"... when it seems like the inexorable decline has suddenly plateaued... when the pain is, just for a minute, bearable." "The problem, of course, is that there's no way of knowing... that your last good day is your last good day." "At the time, it's just another decent day." "Hello, Augustus." "Good evening, Hazel Grace." "A quick question for you." "Did you ever write that eulogy I asked you to prepare?" "I may have." "Do you think you could find your way down... to the literal Heart of Jesus in the next few minutes?" "Maybe. ls everything okay?" "I love you, Hazel Grace." "Can I have the keys?" "Oh." "Where you going?" "We're gonna eat something." "I have to go." "Hazel, you have to be hungry." "You didn't even eat lunch." "I'm just not hungry." "Hazel, you cannot not eat." "I'm aggressively un-hungry." "Hazel, I know Gus is sick, but you got to take care of yourself." "This has nothing to do with Gus." "Well, then you've got to stay healthy." "Come on, just eat something, honey." ""Stay healthy"?" "Okay, I'm not healthy, and I'm gonna die." "Do you realize that?" "I'm dying, and you're gonna be here... and you're not gonna have anyone to look after, or hover around... and you're not gonna be a mother anymore, and I'm sorry... but there's nothing I can do about that." "So, can I please go?" "Why would you say that to me?" "Because you said that." "What are you talking about?" "In the ICU." "Hazel..." "That's not the truth." "I was wrong." "All right?" "Even if you died..." ""When."" "Even when you die..." "I'll always be your mother." "It's the greatest thing I'll ever be." "That is my biggest fear, Mom." "When I am gone... you're not gonna have a life anymore." "You're just gonna sit and you're gonna stare at walls... or you're gonna off yourselves or..." "Hazel, honey, we're not gonna do that." "Losing you..." "That is gonna hurt like hell." "But you of all people know it's possible to live with pain." "You just do it." "I'm taking classes in social work." "Wait, you're what?" "Yeah, um..." "You know, if I can take what we've been through... and help other people, maybe counsel families..." "Mom, how could you not tell me this?" "We didn't want you to feel abandoned." "Feel abandoned?" "You guys, this is..." "This is the best news." "You go." "Okay?" "Baby." "Straight ahead, yeah." "To your left, a little bit." "That's a step, right?" "Yeah, put your hand out." "There's a podium to your right." "Yeah, perfect." "Beautiful." "Hi." "You're late." "How you doing?" "You look ravishing, Hazel Grace." "I know, right?" "What's going on, guys?" "Tell her, Gus." "I wanted to attend my own funeral." "I mean, I'm hopeful that I'll be able to attend as a ghost, but..." "However, just in case it doesn't work out..." "I decided to plan this pre-funeral." "Ready?" "Augustus Waters was a cocky son of a bitch." "But we forgave him." "Not because of his superhuman good looks... or because he only got 19 years when he should've gotten way more." "18 years, buddy." "Dude, come on." "Really?" "I'm assuming you have a little more time, you interrupting bastard." "Interrupt me in the middle of my eulogy." "You're supposed to be dead." "But when the scientists from the future... come to my house with robot eyes... and they tell me to try them on..." "I'm gonna tell those scientists to piss off, because... because Gus, I don't even want to see a world without you." "I don't." "I don't want to see a world without Augustus Waters." "Then, having made my point, I'll probably put the robot eyes on... because, you know, they're robot eyes." "Sounds awesome." "And I don't know..." "Um..." "This is just so hard." "Um..." "Godspeed." "Yeah." "Hazel, can I get a hand here?" "To the right, a little bit." "Yeah, and turn around." "Sit down." "There you go." "It's down to you, Hazel Grace." "Hello." "My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster... and Augustus Waters was the star-crossed love of my life." "Ours was an epic love story... and I probably won't be able to get more than a sentence out... without disappearing into a puddle of tears." "Like all real love stories... ours will die with us." "As it should." "You know, I'd kind of hoped that he would be the one eulogizing me." "Because there's really no one else..." "Yeah, no." "Um..." "I'm not gonna talk about our love story, because I can't." "So, instead, I'm gonna talk about math." "I am not a mathematician, but I do know this." "There are infinite numbers between zero and one." "There's point-one, point-one-two, and point-one-one-two, and... and an infinite collection of others." "Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between zero and two... or between zero and a million." "Some infinities are simply bigger than other infinities." "A writer that we used to like taught us that." "You know, I want more numbers... than I'm likely to get." "And, God... do I want more days for Augustus Waters than what he got." "But, Gus... my love..." "I cannot tell you how thankful I am... for our little infinity." "Hold on." "You gave me a forever... within the numbered days." "And for that, lam... lam eternally grateful." "I love you so much." "I love you, too." "Augustus Waters died eight days later in the ICU." "When the cancer, which was made of him... stopped his heart, which was also made of him." "It was unbearable." "The whole thing." "Every second, worse than the last." "One of the first things they ask you in the ER... is to rate your pain on a scale from one to ten." "I've been asked this question hundreds of times... and I remember once... when I couldn't catch my breath and it felt like my chest was on fire... the nurse asked me to rate the pain." "Though I couldn't speak, I held up nine fingers." "Later, when I started feeling better... the nurse came in and she called me a fighter." ""You know how I know?" she said." ""You called a ten a nine."" "But that wasn't the truth." "I didn't call it a nine because I was brave." "The reason I called it a nine was because I was saving my ten." "And this was it." "This was the great and terrible ten." ""I will fear no evil, for You are with me..." ""Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." ""You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies." ""You anoint my head with oil." "My cup overflows." ""Surely, goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life..." ""and I will dwell in the house of the Lord..." ""forever."" "Augustus Waters fought hard for many years." "His battle was a courageous one, and his strength..." "What a load of shit, huh, kid?" "...was a source of inspiration for each and every one of us." "Let us pray." "We thank You, Lord, for the life of Augustus Waters..." "We need to fake-pray now." "...for his strength and his courage." "Lord, we ask that You be with us today, that You be close... that You comfort his friends and family." "Thank You for Your presence, Lord." "All this we pray in Jesus' name." "Amen." "Amen." "Now, we are going to hear from Gus' special friend..." "Hazel Lancaster." "Not that it really matters, but I was his girlfriend." "There's a beautiful quote in Gus' home that reads..." ""if you want the rainbow, you have to deal with the rain."" "Even in his last few days..." "Um..." "I didn't believe a word." "He was always able to crack a smile." "But that's okay." "I knew this was the right thing to do." "Funerals, I'd decided, are not for the dead." "They're for the living." "Hey, want some company?" "No, I'm okay." "I'm just gonna drive for a bit by myself." "Love you." "Love you." "You spoke beautifully." "I'll see you soon." "Drive safe." "Okay" "May I?" "Omnis cellula e cellula." "Your boy Waters and I corresponded quite a bit in his last days." "Oh." "So, you read your fan mail now?" "I wouldn't exactly call him a fan." "He detested me." "But he was quite insistent I attend his funeral... and tell you what became of Anna and her mother... so here I am." "And that's your answer, "Omnis cellula e cellula."" ""Life comes from life."" "I'm really not in the mood." "You don't want an explanation?" "No, I don't." "Thank you, though." "Have a great life." "You remind me of her." "I remind a lot of people of a lot of people." "My daughter was eight." "And she suffered beautifully for so long." "She had leukemia like Anna?" "Just like Anna." "I'm very sorry for your loss." "And I'm sorry for yours." "And sorry for ruining your trip." "You didn't ruin our trip." "We had an amazing trip." "Are you familiar with the Trolley Problem?" "There's a thought experiment in the field of ethics... known as the Trolley Problem." "Philippa Foot was an English philosopher..." "Oh, my God." "Hazel, I'm trying to explain something to you." "I'm trying to give you what you wanted." "No, you're not!" "You are a drunk, and you're a failure... and I need you to get out of my car right now... so that I can go home, and be by myself and grieve!" "You'll want to read this." "I don't want to read anything." "Can you just get out of my car?" "Please get out of my car!" "Fine." "Can I come in?" "I'm so, so sorry." "Yeah." "It was a privilege, though, wasn't it?" "To love him?" "Gives you an idea how we feel about you." "Hazel?" "There's a friend here to see you." "Do you know if it hurt or whatever?" "Apparently he was struggling for breath for a long time... and then eventually he just went unconscious." "It wasn't great or anything." "Dying sucks." "Gus really loved you, you know?" "I know." "He wouldn't shut up about it." "Yeah." "It was annoying." "He talked about you so much." "I didn't find it that annoying." "I know." "I know you didn't." "Did you get that letter from your author friend?" "Ew." "He's not my friend." "How do you know about that?" "Well, I was talking to him at the cemetery... and he said he came all this way to give that letter to you." "Yeah, well, I'm over it." "I have no interest in reading another word of that asshole's again." "No, he didn't write it." "Gus wrote it." "What?" "Apparently Gus wrote something down and then sent it to Van Houten." "Oh, my God." "Mr. Van Houten, I'm a good person, but a shitty writer." "You're a shitty person, but a good writer." "I think we'd make a good team." "I don't want to ask you for any favors... but if you have the time, and from what I saw, you have plenty... please fix this for me." "It's a eulogy for Hazel." "She asked me to write one, and I'm trying." "I just..." "I could use a little flair." "See, the thing is, we all want to be remembered." "But Hazel's different." "Hazel knows the truth." "She didn't want a million admirers." "She just wanted one." "And she got it." "Maybe she wasn't loved widely, but she was loved deeply." "And isn't that more than most of us get?" "When Hazel was sick, I knew I was dying... but I didn't want to say so." "She was in the ICU, and I snuck in for 10 minutes... and I sat with her, before I got caught." "Her eyes were closed." "Her skin, pale." "But her hands were still her hands." "Still warm, and her nails were painted this dark blue-black color... and I just held them." "And I willed myself to imagine a world without us... and what a worthless world that would be." "She's so beautiful." "You don't get tired of looking at her." "You never worry if she's smarter than you... because you know she is." "She's funny without ever being mean." "I love her." "God, I love her." "I'm so lucky to love her, Van Houten." "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world... but you do have a say in who hurts you." "And I like my choices." "I hope she likes hers." "Okay, Hazel Grace?" "Okay"