"Arbait" "THE NIGHT OF THE CARROTS" ""O-la-la!" "What a silence!" "Why didn't they make it before?" "Thought Diego, the lonely cyclist, the adorer of everything round, and the hater of everything angular." "The man who had everything written right in his face." ""Trash!" "... " thought Diego when he saw Julia's knee." "This was the second thought already coming to him this morning." "Oh, how fat your are my son." "You are to fat to come from where I am coming." "It often happens that your life is just a succession of shocks, a chain of broken relationships and disappointments." "There are irreversible changes taking place irrespective of us." "Diego, the man who after seeing a single right angle suffered for weeks from nausea, had experienced everything, and still it hit him like a kick in the Achilles tendon." "Betrayal." "Combined with the abandonment of principles." "Diego's sadness was as powerful as his tenderness." "What is the duration of a cyclist's depression?" "Four seconds?" "Eternity?" "And it was then that Diego remembered it "O-la-la!" "Yessss!" "PGl!" " Hello!" " PGI." " I'm Diego." " Reception desk." " You have single rooms?" " Single rooms?" "I don't think so." " Who are you?" " Diego!" "Ok, come on, let's have a look." "I'm Diego..." "Diego..." "Diego here." "What it is?" "And now, keep your tongue between your teeth." "Kraftwerk Oder Krematorium?" "Every time Diego saw a building designed by Carl Christian Wintersberg he remembered Franz." "Too much corners, he heard him saying." "Too much corners." "Diego struggled with growing nausea." "There was no way back, for Diego knew only one way of movement - from right to left." "There was a big rush to pgi." "Everybody who wasn't in yet was a contender." "Being contenders was their real aim, because, once inside, they knew they would have nothing to do." "The justified demands on the part of the contenders were met with vague answers." "Your passport, please." "Sorry, I don't have my own passport." "I'm illegal immigrant." "Victor knew at once where Diego belonged but he lied - on the whole he always did." "Then Diego saw Steffi." "No angles, just roundness." "Steffi was a hard-boiled egg." "The turmoil of adrenaline in Diego's blood started to subside." "Something lastingly round had entered his life." "Sebra Michael" "Michael was a stripeless zebra, who with the help of will power and some white paint" "Had achieved the almost impossible." "The last thing in the world Michael resembled was a zebra." "He believed that this was just a beginning." "A long and painful journey had toughened Michael's spirit, but his body was fragile, very fragile indeed." "Like everyone in pgi," "Michael also had his own very private dream." "Michael dreamed of marrying the fattest woman in the world, as soon as that woman had been found and he was ready for it." "Hello, witch a chewing gum" "Every system should keep a close watch on its underground to detect the moment when the underground stops whispering." "This moment could be called the beginning of the end." "Mihhailli moistatus" "The only ground floor room was occupied by Mikhail." "Mikhail, who dreamed of lining up all the people in the world and making them happy." "He was prevented by a force which pulled him up to the ceiling." "This phenomenon was known in pgi as Mikhail's mystery." "Methodical though he was, Mikhail suspected that behind the seeming randomness of the appearance of the force, there was a hidden pattern." "He started to investigate it privately, supported by his unwavering faith in non-linear correlation between chronometry and expanding time and space." "Was Mikhail aware of the far-reaching results his activities might have had?" "And where did he get the ketchup, stuff you couldn't even think of up in pgi?" "Roheline Helmuth" "Helmuth hated cars." "In his brightest dream he saw all the people of the world walking round on their own two feet." "That's why Helmuth himself tried to master walking." "Ajutine Victor" "638." "Coming!" "Actually, Victor wasn't an illegal immigrant." "Victor was the managing director of pgi." "The reason for his being in reception was the article on minorities in the statutes of pgi." "Victor accepted all the responsibility, because he didn't care." "It was all temporary." "He only needed a slight impulse, a stimulus to go up to the upper floors." "Helmuth also had a further dream, a dream of flying." "Helmuth knew that everything had to be achieved step by step." "However, this didn't prevent him from having a solidarity with everything that flew." "Seletamatu raevuhoog from time to time, Diego was seized by inexplicable fits of rage." "Tuba 635" "The Great Cellist filled room 635 as a one meter layer of translucent gelatinous substance." "Tight lines of buttons divided slimy surface of his body into 64 independent sectors." "The Great Cellist was connected to the outside world with optical fiber cables, and his whole outside world, unbelievable as it is, was restricted to a tiny inflatable basin filled with white coffee in the pgi cellar," "in which a small foam duck was swimming." "The Great Cellist's three worst enemies were K, G and B who appeared disguised as buttons." "They didn't let the Great Cellist concentrate on his main task - receiving powerful bouts of inspiration with the help of impulses coming from the outside world." "It was his dream to receive a bout of inspiration force one hundred." "K, G and B took advantage of his every moment of weakness and suggested to him horrible and ill-boding dreams." "Suure Tsellisti 1. unenagu" "The Great Cellist dreams that Hot Dog is ill and has a high temperature." "Doc Martens, the old boot, comes to see him." ""Don't think about this Hamburger all the time, they do not exist,"" "Doc Martens says." "Hot Dog is really frightened of Hamburger." "He can't help thinking about him." ""And there are no such things as rabbits, either,"" "Doc Martens thinks as he leaves." "Gradually but steadily, a sentence was taking shape in Michael's hopelessly postmodern head." "You can love the fattest woman in the world, but at the same time, you shouldn't break." "For the umpteenth time, Michael arrived at the truth that all the ingenious things in this world were also perfectly simple." "An observer might have had difficulty saying whether Mikhail actually realized what he was doing." "The line separating the tangible world, measurable by chronometer, from the irrational one was vague, like the origin of the underground." "Mikhail hardly thought that asking a question might also mean getting an answer." "An answer which will make you stand at the window and gaze with unseeing eyes at the helicopters at the helicopters senselessly buzzing in the night skies, and the ominous looking paratroopers." "Siiami kakasikud Bill  Boris" "Boris, one of the Siamese twins, was a malignant sadist." "Against the wall, right?" "To the bear cage, right?" "Bill was afraid of both of them." "Bill was afraid of everything." "But bill was also able to take a sincere pleasure in everything." "His smile was known in pgi as a so-called bill smile." "Occasionally, Boris was ashamed of being such a pig." "A single step separates a sadist from a masochist, he then stated." ""lt's German," thought Diego." "It was just German like all the other languages that Diego didn't understand a single word of." "Now Mikhail knew it." "The pulling force was called Helmuth." "Helmuth." "But there was no pull anymore." "He stood silently at the window, gazing with unseeing eyes at the helicopters buzzing senselessly in the night skies." "Then Mikhail saw Helmuth, his slim muscular body, tight black leather pants." "Yes, this was Helmuth." "Reetur Mihhail" "There is a screw keeping all other screws together." "Alfred had such a screw." "Mikhail had something similar in the corner of his room." "It was a so-called entrance." "Sending his data to be processed," "Mikhail had unwittingly - unwittingly?" ", provided the secret code." "Was this the beginning of the end?" "Water." "Alfred, water." "Alfred water." "Vesi?" "Esimese Leedi lahkumine" "Alfred realized that there was nothing that could bring the first lady back." "Water." "Alfred wo..." "Miss Nipple, who worked as a lift knob in pgi, had volunteered for the job." "Miss Nipple opposed sexual harassment, and therefore she wanted to experience" "the true meaning of it." "So she told everyone to press her, knowing that one fine day..." "Miss Nipple didn't know exactly what she would do on this fine day, but she could feel it coming." "Do you have a cigarette?" "Helmuth stood firmly on his feet." "You could feel rostfrei steel in his steps." "For him, falling down had become part of the recent past." "Suure Tsellisti 2. unenagu" "The Great Cellist sees in his dream the solution to Mikhail's mystery." "Helmuth's room is situated exactly above Mikhail's room." "Helmuth's bottom has plus charge, and Mikhail's head has minus charge." "Helmuth, falling on his bottom, causes Mikhail to be pulled up to the ceiling." "Mikhail never learned that it was Helmuth's falling in the recent past which had destroyed his life." "The present for Mikhail contained only the knowledge that he didn't want to go back, and couldn't go forward, and his melancholy pieces for the piano." "There might have been one more possibility, but Mikhail's minus charged head refused to contemplate it." "Janesed" "Only an utter ignoramus could doubt the existence of rabbits." "They decidedly existed." "The very moment the rabbits knew how to combine electronic high technology and voodoo, their position in starting and controlling the global processes competition." "Was beyond competition." "The range of their ever expanding rabbit interests included practically everything." "Initially small producers of ketchup, the rabbits had grown into the leading superpower of the world, but their heart still belonged to ketchup." "At the moment," "The rabbits were starting a grand project - since ketchup contained 83% water, it was rational to take the production of ketchup under water." "They just had to find the right place." "962" "Palun lt was strictly forbidden to leave one's post without a competent replacement." "Thus, Jean-Paul entered the game." "And if this couldn't be called the beginning of the end, then what could?" "When your shoes are full of water, there's no sense in asking - up or down?" "Victor had enough water in his shoes to go very high indeed." "Suure Tsellisti 3. unenagu" "The Great Cellist dreams that Hamburger, the PR-man for rabbits betrays to his secret passion, Hot Dog, the rabbits' plan to use pgi for their underwater ketchup production." "According to the plan, a dam is to be built," "Water is to be dammed, and the whole of pgi is to be drowned." "Hot Dog understands that her suspicions concerning Hamburger have been unfounded." "Her fear and angers disappear." ""l love you, Hamburger," Hot Dog thinks." "Victor looked back, but there was no hint of nostalgia in his eyes." "He was sure that a brilliant career was waiting for him upstairs." "The news about the rabbits' plan hit pgi like a bottle of Chateau de Terrefort-Quancard, vintage '48, thrown into calm water." "It seemed that something started to move, something started to ripen." ""Now!" Michael thought," "And suddenly a sobering realization dawned on Michael that the greatest privilege of pgi - to be safely connected to your own wall socket - was also its greatest shortcoming." "Vaba!" "Yes, practically all the inhabitants of pgi were connected straight to the circuit and their freedom of movement was non-existent." "They were all utterly helpless in the face of rising water." "So the only hope they had was the Night of the Carrots." "Once a year, there was a night when all these hated rabbits turned into carrots." "Just for one night, the world was free." "The Night of the Carrots had no fixed date, lt always came unexpectedly." "Why, then, couldn't it not come now," "When there was real need for it?" "Unistus Porgandite Oost" "The contenders to get in had become the contenders to get out." "The whole situation in pgi was characterized by quiet anticipation and passive panic." "There were only a few exceptions." "The rabbits considered themselves to be a global force, and believed that they were everywhere, like the Holy Ghost." "In reality, the rabbits inhabited the uppermost floor of pgi." "Everybody knew this, except themselves." "Now, you come after me." "So much for Victor, then." "Here you are." "Yes, mama." ""ls it really The Night of the Carrots?" Helmuth thought." ""l've learned to walk in vain. "" ""Steffi's really great," thought Diego," ""but she talks too much..." "And in German... "" "And suddenly, Diego saw, although still angular..." "His own bicycle!" "Diego's soul was filled with infinite tenderness." ""Aw, shut up, Steffi," Diego thought." "The mountains were still wrapped in the thin morning mist." ""Oh-la-la," Diego thought." "He felt a slight growing nausea." "He was absolutely unmoved by the events in the pgi that he never managed to enter." "XXX"