"OHH." "OH, MAN." "I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU'RE CLEANING THAT UP, LAWRENCE." "UNLESS YOU WANT ANOTHER REASON TO BE SUSPENDED." "ANYWHO, WE'RE OFF FOR A QUICK JAUNT ROUND THE RACQUETBALL COURT." "DON'T WAIT UP, BABY CAT." "LAW?" "DID YOU HEAR ME?" "SAID WE'RE GETTING SNACKS." "DO YOU WANT SNACKS?" "WELL, BYE." "JENNY!" "HI!" "UM, SO YOU KNOW HOW I'M UNDECLARED RIGHT NOW?" "WELL, I WAS THINKING THAT I WOULD SHADOW FPS TOMORROW." "THAT IS SO AWESOME!" "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU THERE." "Ted:" "HEY, GALS." "Ted:" "LET'S DO IT!" "IS SOMETHING BURNING?" "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S MAKING US PRACTICE THROUGH BRUNCH." "YEAH, JENNY, TELL YOUR MOM MY STOMACH SAID," ""HEY, THIS IS YOUR STOMACH, JUMPIN' JACKS," "AND I'M HUNGRY, SO TELL JENNY."" "YEAH, I'LL BE SURE AND PASS THAT ALONG." "BUT IN THE MEANTIME, WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE DONUTS?" "OHHH!" "DONUTS!" "SWEET!" "WHAT?" "Jumpin' Jacks:" "SORRY, BRIAN." "SORRY." "HERE?" "DROP THOSE DONUTS, SUGARPLUMS." "BEHOLD THE MARY MATRIX DIET." "THAT'$ RIGHT." "HEALTHY FOOD FOREVER." "EVERY TIME YOU STUFF THOSE LITTLE FACES WITH JUNK FOOD," "YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON THORINE, OMEGA-3S, ANTIOXIDANTS." "IT'S KILLING YOUR REACTION TIME." "OBSERVE." "FIT BODIES, FIT MINDS." "WHICH REMINDS ME," "30 LAPS AROUND THE QUAD BEFORE LUNCH." "BUT WE'RE STARVING!" "GET A MOVE ON!" "GO!" "GO, GO, GO!" "BRIAN, STAY." "SO HOW IS IT LIVING WITH LAW?" "ACTUALLY, I'M GLAD YOU ASK." "UM, NOT TOO HOT." "WELL, ACTUALLY IT IS TOO HOT" "BECAUSE, UH, HE SET FIRE TO MY ROOM." "REALLY?" "HE SOUNDS MISERABLE." "GOOD WORK, KID." "YEAH, I GUESS, BUT..." "WAIT." "THAT'S WHY YOU MADE HIM MY ROOMMATE?" "I KNEW LIVING WITH YOU WOULD REMIND HIM" "OF WHAT A FAILURE HE IS." "BETWEEN YOU AND ME, HE'S THE WORST GUY THAT JENNY EVER DATED." "OH, WELL, BETWEEN YOU AND ME, HE SET FIRE TO MY ROOM." "YOU JUST BEING CUTE, OR YOU TALKING BACK TO ME?" "BETTER GO RUN LAPS NOW." "MMM." "WHICH BRINGS US TO THE CRUX OF THE QUERY:" "HOW FAST SHOULD CAR "A's" SPEED BE GOING INTO TURN 7?" "PICK ME!" "PICK ME, I'M AWESOME!" "THEODORE, THE COURT IS YOURS." "GIVEN HIS ENTRY LINE, HE SHOULD BE GOING 55 MILES PER HOUR." "YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" "HOW 'BOUT 48 MILES PER HOUR?" "BRAVO, CLUTCH." "THREE HUNDRED YARDS." "YEAH!" "YOU HAVE PASSED THE SODA STAR." "SODA STAR!" "AW, MAN!" "THERE'S NO POP!" "THE FIZZY RIVER RUNS DRY?" "SOMETHING'S AMISS." "WHERE ARE PISTON AND DOMINO PRIME?" "PISTON!" "AND YOU, DOMINO PRIME!" "W" " WHAT HAPPENED?" "THE DUCHESS?" "SHE AND HER KART GOONS KNEW OF OUR PLAN" "TO RAID THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE." "THEY AMBUSHED US AND TOOK THE SODA," "BUT WE HAVE THE KEY." "OHH." "FOR THIS I AM GLAD." "BUT ALAS, THE DUCHESS OF KART HAS RENDERED US SODALESS." "OUR THROATS SHALL REMAIN PARCHED FOR A WEEK." "PERHAPS EVEN TWO." "TRULY THIS IS OUR DARKEST HOUR." "I'LL GET THE SODAS." "I CAN DO IT, D.K. I WAS BORN TO." "FAT CHANCE, DINGUS." "THOSE 'SHROOMED-UP KART SHARKS WILL EAT YOU ALIVE." "PERHAPS, CHILD." "BUT PER ANOTHER HAP," "THIS MAY BE THEODORE'S CHANCE" "TO PROVE HIS QUALITY." "DRIFT LIKE THE WIND, LITTLE ONE." "YOU CARRY THE FATE OF US ALL." "THEY'RE BOTH RED AND HEALTHY." "JUST PICK ONE, KID." "OH." "SORRY." "WAIT, WHAT?" "BRIAN D!" "GET YOUR ASS TO MY OFFICE!" "DOUBLE TIME!" "AW, MAN." "NEXT." "SO, ALLISON, YOU'RE LOSING." "THAT'S NICE." "HEY, QUICK Q." "YOU KNOW ANY BRASSERIES THAT DO LAST-MINUTE LUNCH REZZIES?" "I COULD REALLY CRUSH A GOOD WINE-AND-CHEESE PAIRING" "AFTER YOU GIVE ME THOSE TWO G's." "SORRY, SHANE." "THE ONLY THING ON THE MENU IS A FLANK STEAK." "OH." "IS THAT YOU FLANKING ME, OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING" "TO MAKE THE WHOLE FOOD JOKE THING WORK?" "EITHER WAY I'M WINNING, SO, ABOUT THOSE TWO G's," "IF YOU COULD JUST TYPE THEM IN NOW FOR ME." ""G" FOR "GOOD."" "OKAY, NOW "G" FOR "GAME."" "COME ON, ALLIE-GATOR." "GIMME THE GAME." "ACTUALLY, HIS PLANES CAN'T REFUEL," "SO IF YOU REGROUP IN THE MOUNTAINS TO THE SOUTH" "OKAY, GUYS, WHO'S THE NERD?" "OH." "Kl SWAN, 1,500 POINTS." "EX-RHYTHM GAMER." "I HAVE BEEN SHADOWING CLASSES ALL DAY LONG," "AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT RTS IS THE FIRST ONE" "THAT HAS REALLY SPOKEN TO ME, WHICH IS WHY I'M SPEAKING NOW," "AND I WOULD BE HONORED TO TRY OUT FOR YOUR TEAM." "I DON'T KNOW, Kl." "ARE YOU COOL?" "I NEVER THOUGHT SO, NO." "IT'S NOT COOL TO TELL THE TRUTH." "BUT WE'LL GIVE IT TO THE FLOOR." "BUY OR SELL?" " SHE DOESN'T EVEN WEAR A SUIT." " SHE LOOKS LIKE A SQUARE." "OH, SHE'S NICE ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HER." "SHE TALKS ABOUT HERSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON." "All:" "SELL THIS TURKEY!" "SORRY, Kl." "GO SUCK SOMEWHERE ELSE." "NOTHING BETTER THAN A FOURTH TACO, YOU FEEL ME?" "AHH." " YOU LOST YOUR SCHOLARSHIP." " WHAT?" "AFTER THE LAW'S FIASCO," "THE NEA PULLED THE GOLDEN GUN GRANT," "SO..." "YEAH." "IT'S ALL HERE." "HO-KAY." "I HAVE NO MONEY, SO IS THERE LIKE, UH," "LIKE A WORK-STUDY PROGRAM I COULD DO?" "LIKE, MAYBE I COULD START IN THE LIBRARY AND DO SOME FILING." "OR, HEY, DO YOU NEED A PERSONAL ASSISTANT?" "I MAKE A MEAN CUP OF JOE." "WHAT...?" "A JANITOR!" "WHEN DO I START?" "YOU CAN START NOW, WITH ALL THAT." "SO YOU WANT ME TO JUST, LIKE, PUT IT BACK?" "HA!" "IT'S TUBULAR!" "'(Em!" "WHO'S IN THIS BOX?" "MR. WONG?" "YOUR CAR'S GETTING TOWED." "I LEFT THE HAZARDS ON!" "HE'S GONE." "YOU CAN COME OUT." "HEY, THANKS FOR THE SAVE BACK THERE." "OH, UM..." "MY NAME IS TED." "WHAT'S YOURS?" "YOU'RE WELCOME." "OH, MY GOD!" "I JUST CHEATED ON Kl!" "I'M A TERRIBLE NINJA." "TED, YOUR ENTIRE FLOOR IS YELLING AT ME" "ABOUT SOME GUY ACTING GROSS IN THE STUDY ROOM," "SO JUST ACT LIKE AN R.A. FOR ONCE AND DEAL WITH IT." " WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" " GET OUT OF MY ROOM." "I AM OUT OF YOUR ROOM." "THIS IS TED'S ROOM." "NO, TED MOVED IN WITH BRIAN," "AND JENNY NEVER SHOWED ME MY ROOM," "SO I MOVED INTO TED'S ROOM." "WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND?" "I UNDERSTAND." "TELL TED HE'S FIRED..." " ..." "AND YOU'RE HIS REPLACEMENT." " WHAT?" "YOU CAN'T DO THAT." "ACTUALLY, AS HEAD R.A., I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT, PROBABLY." "EITHER WAY, LOOKS LIKE YOU FOUND YOURSELF SOMETHING TO DO, Kl." "HERE." "TRYING TO GET RID OF THESE." "BUSINESS CARDS." "SO LAST YEAR." "YOUR NAME IS SHANE PIZZA?" "THAT'S DUMB!" "FLIP IT OVER." "YOU KNOW..." "I WAS VOTED "PETITE ELITE'S" HUNKIEST TEEN GAMER." "WELL, LOOK AT ME NOW, WENDELL!" "I DON'T WANT TO, OKAY?" "I JUST WANT TO STUDY." "YOU LOOK AT ME, WENDELL!" "EXCUSE ME." "HI." "LAW?" "I THINK YOU SHOULD GO BE GROSS SOMEWHERE ELSE NOW." "UM, OKAY, SO IF YOU COULD JUST STOP" "LAW, COULD YOU, UM" "WELL, NOW, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF SOMEONE" "YOU'RE BEING VERY RUDE." "LAW, THIS IS AN INAPPROPRIATE USE OF THE COMMON AREA," "AND YOU ARE DISRESPECTING YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS," "AND AS NEWLY NAMED R.A.," "I DEMAND THAT YOU LEAVE." "OH!" "YOU'RE THE R.A. NOW." " THAT'S RIGHT." " HOW INTERESTING." "WELL, WE GOTTA UPHOLD THE RULES AROUND HERE, RIGHT, WENDELL?" "WE ALL KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THE LAW IS AROUND HERE!" "WOW." "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I EVER SAW IN THAT GUY." " SMELLS LIKE BANANAS." " THANKS, Kl." "YOU'RE WELCOME, WENDELL." "HMM." "EAT LATER, BRIAN!" "TWENTY LAPS BEFORE PRACTICE." "LET'S GO!" "COME ON, BRIAN, THE JANITOR WILL GET IT." "THEODORE WONG..." "FOR QUENCHING THE THIRST OF YOUR TEAMMATES" "AND RISKING CERTAIN DETENTION IN THE PROCESS," "I AWARD YOU 3,000 YARDS." "WAY TO GO, TED!" "CLUTCH, AN ICE-COOL COLA FOR TED." "I BELIEVED IN YOU ALL ALONG, TED." "SO, REGALE US WITH YOUR TALES OF DERRING-DO." "O KAY." "SO, THERE I WAS," "OPENING THE DOOR TO THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE," "AND THEN TAKING ALL THE SODAS," "AND THEN LEAVING." "OH?" "UH..." "ANY COMPLICATIONS?" "ANY AROUSALS?" "WHAT?" "NO, NEVER!" "I'D NEVER HURT Kl." "AH, WHICH REMINDS ME." "MY KEY." "THE MOST PRECIOUS OF MY ITEMS." "OH, UM, IT'S..." "JUST..." "IT'S..." "RIGHT OVER HERE, D.K." "DUCHESS!" "YOU FIEND!" "D.K., YOU'RE SO CUTE WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY." "CUTE?" "DON'T LECTURE ME ABOUT CUTE" "WHEN YOUR GAME HAS A BANANA ON THE COVER," "AND ANYTIME SOMEONE GETS HIT," "THEY GO, "OW WOW WOW WOW WOW."" "WE'RE NOT GETTING INTO THIS AGAIN." "ENJOY YOUR HIGH HORSE." "WE'LL ENJOY OUR SODAS." "KARTERS, LET'S BOOST." " LET'S GO." " I'M THE BEST!" "THANKS FOR LAST NIGHT, HOTLIPS." "COME BY FOR A DRINK SOMETIME." "THEODORE!" "I'M NOT SURE WHAT SORT OF" "MODERN ARRANGEMENTS YOU AND Kl HAVE," "BUT YOU HAVE HURT ME MORE DEEPLY THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE." "D.K., I.." "I ALWAYS HATED YOU, TED." "MY FIRST SUGGESTION!" "OH, IT'S A COMPLAINT." "HUH." "The Law: "DEAR Kl, I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE" ""FOR BEING TOTALLY RUDESVILLE IN THE STUDY LOUNGE," ""BUT I'D ALSO LIKE TO FILE A FORMAL COMPLAINT" ""AGAINST TED WONG" ""FOR ILLEGALLY SQUATTING IN MY DORM." ""YOU SEE, TED NEVER OFFICIALLY MOVED IN WITH BRIAN." ""I DID." ""AND TED" " WELL, HE'S YOUR KISSIN' BUDDY," ""I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU HOW BAD HE SMELLS." "PHEW!" ""WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE 'PHEW' IN A LETTER." ""WELL, ANYWAY, IT'S YOUR DUTY AS R.A. TO KICK HIM OUT." "SINCERELY... "" "THE LAW!" "HA HA HA HA HA HA!" "I JUST DID THAT." "WATCHING YOU PLAY NOW MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP." "YES, MA'AM." "I'M SORRY, MA'AM." "YOU CAN DO THIS." "DON'T THINK ABOUT FOOD." "DON'T THINK ABOUT FOOD." "JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT FOOD." "WHAT IS HAPPENING?" "BRIAN!" "GET IT TOGETHER!" "COACH, I GOTTA PEE." "NO!" "NO!" "PLEASE!" "PLEASE, COME ON, I'M SO HUNGRY!" "Voice:" "EAT ME." "EAT ME." "BRIAN, IS THAT JELLY ON YOUR SHIRT?" "YES." " GET OUT OF MY PRACTICE." " WAIT, COACH, I HADN'T EATEN" "DON'T COME TO PRACTICE TOMORROW, EITHER." "YOU WANT TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE?" "Woman:" "JUST REMEMBER, GUYS:" "NO GETTYSBURGER IS COMPLETE" "WITHOUT THE BARBECUE SAUCE." "TO HISTORY, EVERYBODY!" "SO HYPOTHETICALLY, IF THE DUCHESS OF KART KISSED ME" "AND I DIDN'T WANT TO KISS HER AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT," "WOULD YOU BE MAD?" "NO, AS LONG AS YOU WERE HONEST ABOUT IT." "THANKS, Kl." "YOU'RE AWESOME." "HEY, TED, YOU GOT A THING ON THE THING." "HUH." "WHAT IS THIS?" "I'M GONNA LOSE BRIAN?" "BRIAN!" "BRIAN, ARE YOU HERE?" "EVERYTHING IS FINE." "THIS WAS A JOKE." "I MADE IT." "AND IT WAS FUNNY." "THAT'S SO NOT FUNNY." "HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT SEPARATING ME AND BRIAN?" "WE'RE MORE THAN JUST BRIAN AND TED." "WE'RE BREAD." "OR TRIAN." "NO!" "WE'RE BREAD." "AND YOU CAN'T SEPARATE SLICES OF BREAD," "UNLESS YOU PUT MEAT OR LETTUCE IN BETWEEN," "BUT THEN YOU GET A SANDWICH, Kl," "AND NOTHING CAN STOP A SANDWICH" "FROM GETTING THE KEY BACK FROM THE DUCHESS," "AS LONG AS THAT SANDWICH IS NAMED ME AND BRIAN." "BY THE WAY, BRIAN, I NEED YOUR HELP ON SOMETHING." "I'LL GET A SHIRT." "LET'S GO." "THANKS FOR THE PEP TALK, Kl." "MWAH!" "GOOD LUCK, BOYS." "YOU." "ME." "IT'S SO HOT IN HERE." "TEDDY BEAR!" "HERE FOR THAT DRINK?" "NO WAY, "DORKCHESS." I'M HERE FOR D.K.'S KEY." "AND I'VE BROUGHT BACKUP." "OH, YEAH, HE'S TOUGH." "HE'S TOUGHER THAN ALL SEVEN OF YOU." "HI." "YOU'RE ON, THEODORE." "BUT WE'RE TAKING THIS RUMBLE TO THE STREETS OF BANANA KART BATTLE MODE." "NICE!" "I WIN, I GET THE KEY BACK." "I WIN, YOU JOIN MY TEAM." "Ted, this is crazy." "There's no way we can beat 'em." "Plus, it wasn't even your fault." "It doesn't matter." "I let my team down." "I gotta make that right... no matter the cost." "You got my back?" "LET'S KART." "OHH!" "UGHHH!" "DANG IT!" "AND THAT BRINGS US FINALLY TO ARTICLE G, SECTION 2:" "TED SHOWERS TWICE A DAY" "TO STOP HIM FROM BEING SO SMELLY." "GREAT." "I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING." "OH." "OKAY." "SIGN THERE, AND TED BECOMES YOUR NEW ROOMMATE." "THANKS A LOT, Kl." "I KNOW THESE NEGOTIATIONS" "HAVE BEEN A LITTLE TOUGH, BUT, UH..." "YOU'RE STICKING YOUR NECK OUT FOR ME," "AND NOT MANY PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO DO THAT THESE DAYS," "SO I JUST WANTED TO SAY I APPRECIATE IT." "I'M GLAD I COULD HELP." " JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB." " SURE." "FART NOISES?" "BUT..." "HOURS OF NEGOTIATION." "YOU GOT EVERYTHING YOU WANTED." "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" "TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE." "AND NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN" "TO YOUR TWO MISERABLE FRIENDS" "THAT THEY CAN'T BE ROOMMATES ANYMORE." "BECAUSE "Kl SWAN, R.A.,"" "STANDS FOR "Kl SWAN, REALLY AWFUL AT BEING AN R.A."" "NOW, GET OUT OF MY ROOM." "OW." "I'M GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOX." "BRIAN, SPLIT!" "'(Em!" "HI, LAW." "THIS IS TED'S FAVORITE PIZZA, DOUBLE WASABINERO." "HE WAS SAVING THE LEFTOVERS." "GO ON." "BRIAN HATES IT WHEN YOU BORROW HIS SHAMPOO" "AND, UH, SPRAY IT ALL OVER HIS BED." "YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS, LAW." "HMM." "THIS IS BRIAN AND TED'S FAVORITE PHOTO." "COME ON." "YOU REALLY WANT TED TO LEAVE AND MISS OUT" "ON THE CHANCE TO MAKE THEM MISERABLE EVERY SINGLE DAY?" "YOU'RE RIGHT, Kl." "THIS PLACE IS A CANVAS!" "LET'S GET PAINTING!" "OKAY!" "BOMB?" "WAIT." "WHOO!" "YEAH!" "NO!" "NO, NO, NO!" "I'M SORRY." "NO!" "AAH!" "COME ON." "START." "START!" "TED." "AAAAHHH!" "AAAHHHH!" " YES!" " Both:" "TEAM BREAD!" "WHOO!" "HA HA HA!" "IDIOT!" "WE PLAY THIS GAME EVERY DAY!" "WHOO!" "WHAT A RUSH!" "I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN." "BOY, TED IS GOING TO BE EXTRA UPSET" "WHEN I HAVE YOU EVICT HIM!" "ALL RIGHT." "FINE." "TED CAN STAY." "OW." "COMPLAINT RESOLVED." "RESOLVED BY PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE." "AND THEN, OUT OF NOWHERE, IT WAS LIKE..." "AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, NO, I'M GONNA DIE."" "AND BRIAN WAS ALL, "NO WAY, BRO, I'M DYING FOR YOU."" "YEAH, AND THEN WE WON LATER." "IT WAS AWESOME." "HERE'S YOUR KEY." "THEODORE, I'M IMPRESSED." "BRIAN, DITTO." "HAVE SOME SODAS." " OH, YEAH!" " OH, COOL." "I'M OFF." "DUDE." "SODA PARTY IN OUR ROOM?" "AH..." "YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN?" "JUST..." "HAVE MINE." "I GOT SOMEWHERE I GOTTA BE." "O KAY." "LAW!" "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM?" "OUR ROOM, TED!" "WHAT DID I DO TO OUR ROOM?" "THIS ISN'T YOUR ROOM!" "GET" " GET OUT!" "OH, DON'T YOU LIKE HOW IT SMELLS NOW?" "THAT'S MY PIZZA!" "OH, I'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR PIZZA, TED!" "OH!" "OH, MY GOD!" "MY BOOKS!" "THEY'RE RUINED!" "LOOK AT THIS PLACE!" "OH, GOD...!" "OH, UM..." "SORRY, COACH." "FIGURED I'D GET MY OWN PRACTICE IN EARLY." "IT'S WHOLE-GRAIN BAGELS AND HUMMUS FOR THE TEAM." "UM..." "LISTEN, COACH, ABOUT YESTERDAY, I..." "I'M SORRY." "NO EXCUSES." "Mary Matrix:" "BRIAN." "SIT YOUR ASS DOWN." "WELL, ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR, LIKE, 24 HOURS." " BRIAN!" " OKAY."