"Glenn:" "Previously on "Childrens Hospital"..." "[ "Reveille" plays ]" "Sal:" "Attention staff..." "It's 7:00 A.M." "Rise and shine." "Owen:" "[ Gasps ]" "Sal:" "That is all." "[ Door closes ]" "Cat:" "[ Groans ]" "Night shift." "Brutal." "Owen:" "I bet." "Cat:" "Good night." " Blake:" "Hey, O!" " Owen:" "Hey." " Blake, watch out!" " Blake:" "Huh?" "Oh!" "Oh, no!" "Oh, man." "What is this?" "Some kind of Buster Keaton movie?" "[ Laughs ]" "Hey, hey, what's next?" "A banana peel?" " Owen:" "Blake!" " [ Glass shatters ]" "Blake:" "Aah!" "Oh, my [bleep] face!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh." "That's fine." "It's fine." "Sal:" "Attention staff..." "It's 7:00 A.M. Rise and shine." "Owen:" "[ Gasps ]" "Sal:" "That is all." "Owen:" "That's the same song they played yesterday." "That's weird." " [ Door closes ]" " Cat: [ Groans ]" "Night shift." "Brutal." "Good night." "Blake:" "Hey, O!" "Owen:" "Wait a second." "This all happened yesterday." "Am I stuck in some sort of time loop?" "Blake, watch out!" "Blake:" "Whoa!" "Whoa." "Thank you." "Owen:" "I think I'm trapped in some sort of a time loop." "Blake:" "Yeah, okay, cool." "Owen:" "I can practice this day as much as I want." "Blake:" "Yeah, all right." " Owen:" "Yeah!" " Blake:" "Yeah." "Whoa-ho!" "Not gonna make the same mistake I did yesterday, smashing through a plate of glass like some 21st century's answer to Charlie Chaplin." "Whoa!" "Aah!" "Oh, my God!" "I'm pretty sure my bone is sticking out of my [bleep] leg!" "Oh, my God, I'm so scared!" "Glenn:" "Hey, Owen!" "Do you have any special skills or talents you want to perform for the troops in today's show?" "Owen:" "I wish I could play the trumpet." "Glenn:" "Great!" "Your wish is my command." "[ Chuckles ]" "I didn't know he could play the trumpet." "That's great." "Owen:" "Guess I better learn to play the trumpet." "Good thing I have an eternity to practice." "Sy:" "Glenn!" "Do not make me sorry that I put you in charge of booking this show." "Where are the celebrities?" "Glenn:" "Planes running a little late, Sy." " They will make it." " Sy:" "Who's coming?" "Glenn: [ Scoffs ] I want it to be a surprise." "Sy:" "No, you don't." "Bono's hologram?" "Glenn:" "Well, you know, it was just a little bit more difficult to book Bono than I anticipated." "Sy:" "Glenn Close?" "Who is he?" "Glenn:" "All the good celebrities are doing this MTV-sponsored show for the troops in Dubai." "Sy:" "You better work it out, or I'm canceling the staff pizza party on Sunday." "Glenn:" "No pizza?" "You monster." "Sy:" "Wait a minute." " Owen plays the trumpet?" " Glenn:" "Yeah." " Sy:" "Can't wait." " Glenn:" "I know!" " Sy:" "Who knew?" " Glenn:" "It should be good, right?" "I think I might bump Owen up and then pop to Bono's hologram, then end big with this Glenn Close guy." "Chief:" "[ Sighs ]" "Everyone, I have a message." "The plane containing our celebrity holograms has been shot down over the sea of Japan." "There were very few survivors." "Glenn:" "Did any of the holograms make it?" "Bono?" "Chief:" "The hard drive containing Bono's hologram crashed." "Literally." "Dori:" "Such young technology." "Glenn:" "That's it." "There's no stars and stripes show today." "I failed." "Owen:" "Don't worry." "You still got me for the big show tonight." "I'm off to my first trumpet lesson ever right now." "Glenn:" "Oh." "Chief:" "Oh, Glenn, uh, since you're letting Owen learn the trumpet on the day of the show, how about you let me sing a song?" "Glenn:" "No offense, Chief, but I'm sure you're a terrible singer, and people don't like to look at you at all." "You know what I mean?" "Dori, look at Chief." "Dori:" "I'd rather not." "Glenn:" "See?" "She cannot do it." "Sal:" "Attention staff..." "Incoming wounded." "Survivors from Glenn's failure due in two minutes." "Chet:" "These are the lucky ones who survived the crash." "The unlucky ones?" "Not as lucky." "Sy:" "Hey!" "It's international pop star Chase McKeever!" "Yo, yo, bro, call me C-Werd." "Chet:" "Everyone!" "It's official!" "This is happening!" "I've got McKeever fever!" "I'm gonna faint." "Someone catch me!" "Sy:" "You were going to surprise me with Chase McKeever?" "I am so pleased, Glenn." "[ Smooches ]" "Everybody listen." "I'm Dr. Marnie Weiss, Chase's personal physician." "I tour with Chase so I can take care of any nodules and lumps." "Sy:" "On his voice box?" "Yes, on his voice box." "Let's say that." "I'm also his swagger coach." "Sy:" "Dr. Weiss, you take care of Chase and make him brand-new, as long as he's ready for the show today." "We are not doing your concert." "[ Scoffs ]" "We're on the first flight to Dubai to do the "MTV Salutes the Troops" concert." "Let's go, C-Werd." "Sy:" "Why can't you be more like MTV?" "Glenn:" "Now I know how VH1 feels." "[ Trumpet plays off-key ]" "Owen:" "[ Gasps ]" "This is so hard." "The trumpet is a challenging instrument." "It takes years to become proficient." "Owen:" "That's okay." "I'm in a time loop." "Ah." "I got it." "Sal:" "Attention staff." "Never mind." "You're not worth it." "That is all." "Ooh!" "FroYo, yo!" "Yeah." "Aw, damn." "I got FroYo all over my Yo-Yo, yo." "Sy:" "Nurse Dori, would you please remove Chet from the Celebrity Room?" "Doesn't matter." "Our plane to Dubai leaves in 30 minutes." "Chet:" "I have McKeever fever!" "Glenn:" "Did someone say McKeever fever?" "[ Sighs ] This guy again." "Yes, he has McKeever fever." "Glenn:" "McKeever fever is a very rare, serious virus isolated at the McKeever Medical Conference in 1909." "Chet:" "Yeah, you see?" "Glenn:" "Dori, quick..." "Give me 40 cc of epinephrine and prep a tetranizanol drip, stat!" "Chet:" "[ Groans ]" "Glenn:" "The worst of it is over." "Chet:" "Thank you, Dr. Richie." "Glenn:" "Of course." "It's okay." "It happens." "You don't have to say anything." "What do you expect me to say?" "I'm sorry?" "I guess I'm the bad guy here." "Come on, Chase." "Get your do-rag." "We're leaving." "Sy:" "Could I..." "Wait, wait." "Glenn, make this right." "The concert is in one hour." "Glenn:" "Pizza party." "Pizza party." "[ Indistinct conversations ]" "Okay!" "Well, first up..." "You know her." "You've probably avoided staring at her around the base." "Ladies and gentlemen, it's Chief!" "Chief:" "Ha!" "Oh, my God!" "Cat:" "Go, Chief." "Chief: [ Deep voice ] ♪ I am a poor wayfaring stranger ♪" "♪ travelling through... ♪" "Glenn:" "Owen!" "Owen, are you ready?" "Owen:" "No, I can't play this thing yet." "But in a few more months of todays," "I'll be ready for today's big show." "Glenn:" "You're not in a time loop." "And I can tell by your reaction that nobody said that to you until now." " Owen:" "Oh." " Glenn:" "Yeah." "Owen:" "Well, cross me off the list." "Glenn:" "Yep, okay." "Chief:" "♪ I'm going home ♪" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Sy:" "Chase!" "You... you convinced Chase to stay?" "Glenn:" "I didn't do anything." "Yes, you did." "You saved two lives today..." "Chet's and mine, by teaching me a lesson about humility." "Yeah." "Let's make some panties drop, yo!" "What's up?" "!" "It's the C-Werd!" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "[ Rock music plays ]" "♪ You make my heart go ♪" "♪ up and down ♪" "Glenn:" "Oh, thank you so much." "Thank me after you meet international pop superstar" "Madonna!" "Glenn:" "What?" "!" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Cat:" "Oh, my God." "It's really Madonna." "[ Deep voice ] ♪ Let's keep this party growing' ♪" "Please welcome Rihanna!" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Sy:" "Rihanna, too?" "!" "♪ Touch me everywhere, man ♪" "♪ touch me everywhere ♪" "Louis C.K.!" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Glenn:" "Oh, Louis!" "Yeah, hi." "I guess I'm here so..." "I'm standing next to Rihanna, which is..." "I've never felt fatter and whiter." "Cat:" "Oh, my God." "He gets me." "He gets me." "Freddie Mercury!" "Ha!" "♪ When I'm all alone ♪" "Glenn:" "He looks great!" "I just want Kleenex and cake." "That's all I want." "And international swimsuit supermodel Kate Upton!" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Glenn:" "Br-br-br-br-br-br!" "♪ When I'm all alone ♪" "♪ Everybody dance ♪" "♪ Touch me everywhere ♪" "I have a house." "I have this..." "It's a place." "I have it." "Guys, stop masturbating at me." "Glenn:" "This is good." "I wish Owen was here to see this." "Hey." "Go find your friend." "Glenn:" "Thanks." "There he is." "Owen:" "I'm never gonna learn to play the trumpet." " Sure you will." " Glenn:" "That's right." "All you have to do is believe that you're a great trumpet player and you will be." "Right now." "Owen:" "Okay!" "♪ Everybody dance ♪" "[ "Reveille" plays ]" "Glenn:" "I knew if you believed in yourself you could do it!" "♪ Touch me everywhere ♪" "My daughter is a bitch." "Glenn:" "[ Laughing ]" "♪ Touch me everywhere ♪" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Glenn:" "What a show." "Ahh." "I only wonder what might have happened between you and me." "Who says it's too late?" "Sy:" "Guess who's getting a pizza party." "[ Feedback ]" "Chief: [ Voice breaking ] Everyone, I have a message." "The plane containing all of the pizza in Japan has been shot down." "There are no survivors." "Did any toppings survive, or..." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my [bleep] God!" "Stop it!" "[Bleep]" "I'm supposed to be Louis C.K." "They could have got me, but they got me instead." "[ "Reveille" continues ]" "Sal:" "Attention staff..." "If you were a Japanese woman with freckles, you know you have it pretty good, right?" "That is all."