"Outside Hearts" ""Little Women"?" "I've only seen it, like, 10 thousand trillion times." ""Oh, I want an Oompah-Loompah..." "and I want it now!"" " Gracie!" " Judy!" "Shut up!" "You guys are bugging me!" "How could a suitcase disappear?" "Mine do all the time." "All right, Zoe, vitamins, okay?" "Come on, Boo." "I'll do it with you." "Judy's been everywhere." "She has this great leather jacket she got at a thrift shop in Paris." "Oh, when she walked out of the store... a Doobie Brother followed her down the street... whatever that is." "One for you, one for me." "Ready?" "And--Oh!" "Eck!" "This isn't chewable?" "When I get my license, she's gonna teach me how to get out of tickets by crying." "Zoe!" "You nut!" "You little nut, you!" "Zoe, I'm stealing your backpack." "I hope you don't mind." "Mom." "Well, I couldn't find my little bag." "Girls, come on, you've got two minutes." "Hurry up." "Okay, look." "Hotel, doctor, hotline, money for pizza delivery." "I only like one kind." " I know, plain cheese and green pepper, right?" " Yep." "Okay, lunches are done, pick this one up at 3:00... and they both know how to reach me during the day." " Call you at the bookstore." " At the bookstore." "You see?" "Everything's fine." "You'll go, see what Oprah wants us to read... and maybe have yourself a little fun." "At the regional meeting of American booksellers?" "Judy was born when I was 6... so my folks expected me to have a hard time with it... but to their amazement, I was just happy to play with her." "Okay, all right." "Oh, Zoe... where's that field-trip slip I'm supposed to sign?" "All forged and ready to go." "You still do that little yin-yang thing over the "I", right?" "Until the nurse that was helping my mother left for the day, and I ran after her... yelling, "Wait, you forgot to take your baby!"" "Grace, I got you some videos." "Did you see the videos?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "She doesn't like the videos?" "I don't care what Grace said." "I like "Little Women"." "Oh, my God!" "She's pathological." "Mom, I like the videos." "I love the videos." "As soon as you leave..." "I'm watching the videos..." "that I love." "Okay, guys, that's your dad." "Mush, mush." "There you go-- lunches, lunches." "You got everything?" " Bye, Grace." " Bye." "Mommy." "You got everything?" " Okay." "Oh!" "I'm gonna miss you." " I'm gonna miss you." " I love you." " I love you, too." "Okay, out of here." "Grace!" " What?" " Hello!" "Oh, sorry." "Love you." "Bye." "Okay, I'll call you tonight." "Okay." "Have a great day." "I think you're holding up very well." "I haven't left yet." "Hey, black with one sugar." "Hey, splash of 2%, one Equal." "Thank you." "You have a dog puppet on your back." "It's not a puppet." "Whatever it is, I can't kiss you... with it staring at me like that." "Well." "I can't do this." "46 hours is too long." "Can I borrow your-- your shirt... and take your smell with me?" "Take all of me." "I wish." "On Saturday, I have the kids... but tomorrow night I could drive up and visit you... me and my smell..." "and the rest of me." "You would drive 2 1/2 hours in Friday-night traffic?" "You'd have to be back on the road before dawn." "You have a problem with that?" "Where did you come from?" "You sure you don't want me... to come up there and fix your heater?" "You know, the heaters in those hotel rooms hardly ever work." "Stop." "I can't." "It's a work trip." "Judy's not with me, so I have to meet... with twice as many publishers... and when I'm away from the kids..." "I'm always thinking the house is gonna blow up... especially when Judy's with them." "I don't think I'd be very much fun." "Okay, all right." "Just worried about you freezing in that hotel room." "Thank you." " Whose party?" " Evan Fisher's birthday." "My sister said I could go with her." "It's supposed to go all night." "Who even is Evan Fisher, anyway?" "Apparently, at his last party..." "Lisa Arthur gave his brother oral sex on the purse pile." "Hey, Grace, what's up?" "You guys going to Evan Fisher's party?" "I am, with my sister." "You should go, Grace." "Yeah, at least the music won't suck." "Do you have Smashbox?" " Mouth." " What?" "What other stuff do you have?" "Oh, I got Limp Bizkit from the Family Values tour." "Excuse me." "Custom pressed." "You're a bootlegger?" "Yeah, but I don't" "I mean, I never sell stuff or anything." "I think he's quiet because he's watching." "I feel like I know him... like I can see inside him or something." "So I guess we'll see you there then." "Bye." "How can people with such good bodies be so nice?" "They don't even want us there." "They're just being nice because his dad's doing it with my mom." "It's like a mercy invite." "So, I guess it's some big event or something." "At first, I thought it was for older kids... but Julie's going with her sister, and Eli said I should go." "Eli said?" "Judy, I don't like him, okay?" "Okay, it's all good." "Someone else, maybe?" "Someone else who might be at this party?" "Oh, my God, I'm Aunt Lenore." "So, Judy... who's this special person in your life?" "Oh, I'm so sorry." "Hey, Zoe, you want some popcorn?" "Not if there's soy sauce." "Actually, um... there might be somebody." "There might be somebody?" "Well, I'm not sure." "I mean, I don't even know him." "Well, you must know something... if you think he's even the tiniest bit worthy." "Well, his name's Daniel." "He deejays at the school radio station... and some people think he's a loner, but I think he's doing his own thing." "Impervious to high-school pack mentality-- that's unprecedented." "And he has really long eyelashes." " But you don't know him." " I hate you." "You can't hate me." "I'm not your mother." "Aunt Judy!" "Shh!" "You can't prove how fast soda eats through stomach lining... when the stomach lining comes from a cow." "How am I supposed to get human stomach lining?" "Do you want to donate yours?" "What is up with you guys?" "Well, Eli is mad at mom... and he's belittling my science project." "Hey, it's a propaganda project." "Shut up." "Look, dad, I told Jennifer and Roger... that I'd give them a ride to this party... and mom says I can't drive... so can you, like, talk to her or something?" "Why do I feel sometimes that I'm--I'm just pretending... to be his father?" "My father generally... terrified us all the time." "Well, do you think she's-- she's worried... that there will be" "I mean, do you think kids are gonna" "Dad, do you know how many movies and filmstrips... about pot and drunk driving I've had to sit through?" "He'd sit there with his scotch... and very quietly, lay down the law... totally upfront about the fact that he didn't trust us... and so we--we stopped talking to him... and proved him right." "I can't believe they even show those things anymore." "There was something always" "I don't know-- vaguely insulting... about that dinging noise between scenes." "Totally." "Like, ding, "Here's Joe getting hammered"... and, ding, "Here's Joe's buddy trying to get his keys."" "Ding, "Here's Joe's car wrapped around a tree."" "So he didn't have a clue... what our lives were-- were like..." "And then he was-- he was dead." "Come on, you guys." "I'll talk to your mom." "All right." "Thank you." "Hello?" "Is this the Sammler heating and air-conditioning company?" "You're kidding." "Is it actually broken?" "No, it's perfectly fine... but I think I need you to fix it anyway." "Do you make service calls out of state?" "I get paid by the mile." "I said I want to go to the party... but not, like, in costume." "Okay, we have gone a bit over the edge... but I would not discount this look." "Okay." "If my mommy died, would you get us?" "Well, sweetie, I think if something happened to your mommy... your daddy would take care of you." "Oh, no, not the khaki one." "It's so..." "Kennebunkport." "Hello?" "Hey, honey, it's mommy." "Hi." "If you and daddy died, would Judy get us?" "Well, hello to you, too, you little noodle." "What are you doing?" "Jumping." "Want to talk to Judy?" " Sounds like I better." " Okay." "Hi." "I'm glad you're not dead." "I mean it." "This job is tiring." "What are you guys up to?" "Well, we're trying to decide what Gracie should wear to this party tomorrow... but your closet is making me sad." " Do I have to do another catalog intervention?" " What party?" "I'm actually about to find out." "Hold on one second." "What party?" " Evan Fisher's birthday." " You don't know whose party it is?" "Yes, I do know." "It's Evan Fisher's birthday party." "Here, talk to your daughter." "If it's unsupervised, she can't go... and older brother and sisters don't count." "Of course." "Hi." "I would have told you about the party... but I didn't know about it until after you left." "That's okay." "Does it sound like something you want to do?" "Yeah, and since I kind of want to go, and I never want to go... it seems like you should let me go." "Well, okay." "Do you want to wear that white sweater of mine you like?" "Yeah, thanks!" "Okay, so, here's Judy." "So, how's the conference, Lilabet?" "You having any fun?" "Yeah, I'm having a really good time." "So, you call me, and I'll call you... if we need each other." "Judy, call the parents." "Uh, sure, okay." "Bye." "Okay." "I can't believe I just left my kids with someone... who used to claim 13 dependents on her taxes... and I also can't believe that you drove... all this way just to see me." "I mean, she was gonna let Grace go to this party." "She doesn't know who it's for, where it is... or if there are gonna be any parents." "Whose-- Whose party is it?" "Evan Fisher." "Evan--Evan Fisher's birthday party?" "The party at the Fishers'?" "Do you know them?" "I'm pretty sure the charges were dropped." "That is so not funny." "You think I worry too much, don't you?" "Actually, I think you love your children a lot." "Seriously." "Did you go to parties when you were their age?" "Oh, yeah." "Were you bad?" "I bet you were bad." "Let's put it this way" "I'd have trouble if I ran for public office." "I used to tell my mother... that I was sleeping at Sharon's... and we would hitchhike to Highland Park... and smoke cigarettes and go to this bar." "I can't believe we didn't get raped or killed." "The world was a nicer place then." "Oh, I'm locking up my children." "Eli is gonna be at the party... and I'm sure that Karen... has a full credit report on the Fishers... and if you want..." "I can kind of rent a helicopter... and just hover overhead." "Rick?" "Lily." "Can we make a rule in bed... not to mention the names of our children or exes?" "They'll have their own car." "He can drop Jennifer off." "It'll be fine." "I don't understand why this doesn't concern you." "Well, you must have called the parents, right?" "Excuse me, but I couldn't reach them." "Look, there is nothing wrong with calling parents when there's gonna be a party... and I'm sorry if it embarrasses you." "Karen, half the time, he's at parties we don't know about anyway." "But we know about this one... and apparently, it's a big one." "You know there's gonna be booze there... and pot..." "and God knows what else." "Well, he says he won't drink." "Why can't we just trust him?" "I do trust him." "I just--I worry about him, that's all." "How do you moderate yourself when you're 16?" "It's impossible." "So you don't trust him." "Rick, look, you and I have talked about this." "I just want us to be clear with him, that's all... and I--I don't think that you are." "If you're not comfortable with this, he doesn't have to go." "Karen used to keep this running list... of all the things a toddler could fit into an electrical outlet." "What was it?" "Um, a comb handle..." "A nail file, screwdriver, tweezers, pen cap, fork handle." "As if knowing all the possibilities meant that she could never be surprised... by something she didn't know could fit in there." "Yeah?" "Yeah?" "Your mom and I have some concerns... about you driving to this party." "I'm not gonna drink, mom." "Eli, I" "Drinks won't be in me because I'm not gonna be drinking, okay?" "All right." "Fork handle, safety pin, nickel... toothpick, tongue." "When the kids are with me, I feel like they should have a break from it." "It's not as if a list, uh, keeps you safe." "We never did have a problem with electrical outlets." "Jessie went right out... and swallowed a Barbie shoe instead." "Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Fisher." "This is Judy Brooks, Grace Manning's aunt..." "Lily Manning's sister." "Well, actually, you might not know any of us... but I was wondering if you could give us a call... at 555-0157 about your party." "Thanks." "That was stupid." "Ready, baby?" "Uh... not ready." "No one's even gonna notice if I go." "It's not like Evan Fisher's gonna have less fun at his birthday." "He doesn't even know who I am." "Well, that's true... but I thought you were going for you." "Well, I was kind of going to talk to that guy." "He won't care, either." "I'm just gonna stand there in some skirt I put on to hide my big butt... and I tried on mom's sweater, and I look like a marshmallow." " Gracie." " I like marshmallows." "Can I just stay home with you and Zoe?" "Yeah, of course you can... but, you know, you do have the power." " What?" " Yeah, even if you don't believe it." "Sometimes you have to put yourself... in a situation, right... and then let your insides catch up." "You want to find out if Daniel's interested?" "You walk up to him and you say, "I'm Grace Manning." "Now, what are you gonna do about it?"" "That's not a snap." "I can't actually snap, but here's the thing-- you already know what life's gonna be like... if you stay home with us... but... if you go to the party..." "I want to go to the party." "Looks like this is the place to be." "You're coming in?" "Yeah, I didn't hear back, so I thought I'd check out the Fisher parents in person." "Uh-oh, maybe a little embarrassing?" "A little." "Yeah." "Zoe!" "Will you get in the car?" "All right." "Okay, I want you to go inside... and check out the parental scene." "If everything seems okay, you can give me a wave." "Otherwise, I want you to come get me, all right?" "Thanks." "Okay." "Wait a second." "Thanks." "I'll be back at 11:00." " 12:00." " 11:30." " 11:40." " She's good." "Go, Grace!" "Are there parents here?" "I think in the den." "Great." "Come on, we gotta go tell Judy." "It's all good." "Okay." "Bye-bye." "Hey, get away!" "That's for Evan Fisher!" "Where is Evan Fisher, anyway?" "Who is Evan Fisher?" "If I had a birthday party..." "I wouldn't want people I don't know at it." "It's not his birthday." "Evan's folks go away every year, so he has a party... only he says it's a birthday party... so people's parents will think there's, like..." "Pin the Tail on the Donkey and stuff." "Have a brewski." "Cheers." "Anybody there?" "Hello?" "If you can hear me over the TV, pick up." "Hello, hello." "Okay." "Well, I guess you must all be out clubbing." "Call me when you get in." "I'm lonely and I miss you." "Bye." "I'm Grace Manning." "What?" "I'm Grace Manning." "I know." "I said I'm Grace Manning!" "Grace!" "Look, I know Roger's my friend... but he's a total moron." "I don't care about him." "Eli, it's Roger!" "You have to come right now!" "Right now!" "Come on!" "What the hell happened?" "I don't know." "He was tweaking out, and he went down hard." "If he chokes on his tongue, I am out of here." "Maybe we should call 911." "Be cool." "He's just a glutton for attention." "Somebody help him." "Please!" "Please!" "That's it, I'm calling 911!" "Yeah, hi, I'm at this party, and this kid passed out." "Yeah, he's breathing... but we can't seem to wake him up." "Eli Sammler." " Out of the way, please." " Excuse me." "Be cool, Rog." "You're gonna be all right." "He's okay, right?" "How much did he have?" "I really don't know." "I wasn't really counting." "Probably a lot." "What else?" "Dope, Ecstasy?" "It seems a lot of kids here are pretty buzzed." "I don't know, sir." "I've been hanging out with my friends." "How much did you drink?" "Am I under investigation?" "No." "Thank you." "I so have to get home." "I wasn't even supposed to go out tonight." "All the way back." "Lock it in." "Just get in the car." "We'll talk later." "What?" "Can you call your father, then?" "My mom is gonna kill me as it is." "Get in the car!" "Get in the car!" "Don't talk right now!" "Get in the car now!" " Dad, please." " Get in the car!" "What's going on?" "Are you okay?" "I'm so glad you're here!" "There was all this booze and no parents, and this kid was unconscious... and they took him to the hospital!" "It's okay." "Everything's okay." "Oh, my God, I'm in so much trouble." "No, everything's okay." "Yeah, it's okay." "My mom is gonna be so mad!" "Are we home yet?" "It's all right." "Almost, okay?" "Go back to sleep, okay?" "Listen to me, you didn't do anything wrong." "It's okay." "Yeah." "It's all right." "Sorry to bug you, dad." "You're not bugging me." "Hi, Jennifer." "Hey, Rick." "You want to tell me what's going on?" "Uh, Roger Udell had a little too much to drink, that's all." "Everyone made a big deal out of it." "There was this party at Danny Platt's." "Oh, man, it was wild." "We were playing quarters, and the loser... had to ride down Main Street... on the hood of Danny's dad's Buick." "Basically it was a car full of drunk guys... trying to throw the drunkest guy off." "Look, I don't know what's wrong with the car." "It started fine before." "Watch your head, please." "My brother Mikey broke his wrist." "Guess who was driving." "How much have you had to drink?" "Not much." "Eli..." "I'm sorry." "I didn't plan to." "So now I'm supposed to be the hard-ass... after what I've done?" "How does that work?" "Come on, Jennifer, I'll take you home, too." "Come on, dad, let me just" "Eli, how am I supposed to trust you... when you lie to me and your mother?" "!" "Get in the car!" "Oh, can I have a sip?" "Sure." "Here, it's hot." "So, any contact?" "I talked to him." "That means it's the last contact ever." "Hello?" "Yes, I called three times, but I felt bad about it... so I went to the gift shop and bought Zoe a monkey." "Guess who else was there." "Um, I don't know." "A koala?" "My new best friend, Leo Pavner." "Am I a networking goddess?" "How was the party?" " The party." "Uh..." " Is that mommy?" "I want to talk." "Wait a second, sweetie." "What are you doing up?" "Uh, what were you saying?" "The party." "Why can't I talk?" "Okay, hold on." "Judy, is everything okay?" "Yeah, everything's fine." "Thank you." "Well, tell me more about the party." "Did she have a good time?" "She talked to the boy." "What boy?" "There's a boy?" "Let me talk to mommy." "Okay, okay, honey, okay." "Mommy, when are you coming home?" "Tomorrow, sweetie." "Aren't you supposed to be asleep now?" "I almost am." "Bye, mommy." "Sweet dreams." "Can you put your sister on?" "Hey, mom." "Hey, beautiful." "I'm so glad the party was fun." "It was okay." "Oh, sweetie, I just..." "I just miss you, you know?" "So, we'll see you tomorrow?" "Yep." "See you tomorrow." "Bye." "Bye." "You'll feel a lot better tomorrow." "I better." "Good night." " Please?" " Please?" "Just do mine." ""Pisces-financial matters may arise." ""Marital status involved." "Today is a good day to smell your butt."" "What?" "I'm home!" "Mom!" "How's my favorite noodle?" "I missed you so much!" "Hi, mom." " Did you have fun?" " Yeah." "The house is still standing." "That's great." "I brought you something." "A free-giveaway hat-- my favorite." "What'd you get me?" " I don't know." "Maybe you better look in my bag." " It's a tutu." "She has a tutu from every state in the union." "Hello." "Hi." "Uh, Grace." "It's--It's Rick." "How you doin'?" "Good, thank you." "I--I told your mother when I was with her..." "I would check on you." "Were you okay with what happened at the party?" "Yeah." "I'm gonna put this right next to my "I Heart Danielle Steele" cap." "Is that Rick?" "Mom, I can't find it!" "Can you come in here, please?" "!" " Can I call him back?" " Can she call you back?" "Uh, sure." "Wait, wait, wait." "I'm sorry." "Things are a little crazy." "Well, I--I'm just glad that Grace is okay." "I mean, I called the hospital." "Apparently the kid is fine." "The hospital?" "Who's all right?" "Oh, okay." "Uh, well, this-- this kid Roger Udell... drank a wading pool of vodka... and gave himself alcohol poisoning." "The paramedics had to come and pump his stomach... and, uh, I guess there weren't any parents there." "I can explain." "How?" "You let my daughter go to an unsupervised party... where some kid drank so much he had to have his stomach pumped?" "Look, um, I should have been straight with you." " I make a mistake, but I didn't want you to worry." " So you lied to me?" "I--I'm never going away again." "Lily, I'm-- I'm gonna hang up." "No." "I--I-- What else do I not know?" " Were there drugs at this party?" " No!" " Yes." " Yes?" "!" "There was pot, and I guess some kids took some Ecstasy." "Kids were taking Ecstasy?" "!" "I don't know." "I wasn't doing anything." "Mommy, I can't find it, and I looked in all the pockets." "Honey--honey, please." "I'll help you find your presents later." "Go in the other room and play." "We're in the middle of a disc" "Don't say discussion." "I'm not a baby." "Lily, I--I'm gonna let you deal with--with this." "I'll talk to you later." "Mom, don't be mad at Judy." "It's my fault." "I told her to lie." "Judy's a grown-up!" "She knows better!" "Look, I screwed up, okay?" "You asked for it, you got it." " Let's just, you know, move on." " Yeah, come on, mom, please." "Go to your room, Grace." "This isn't your conversation." "Well, it's not Zoe's, and she's here." "Besides, Rick said he was with you in Madison, and you didn't tell us." " You went away with the dad?" " When were you with Rick?" "Rick came to meet me Friday, and that's not what we're talking about!" "Zoe, please, now." "Grace." " Go on." "Honey, Grace, go on." " But Judy didn't do anything!" "Why do you have to make such a big deal out of this?" " You lied, too." " Okay, that's it!" "Out now!" "Oh, I hate you!" "I'm sorry, okay?" "I didn't handle it well." "All right, I screwed up, I did everything wrong... but, you know, it was just teenagers at a party." "Judy, I have one job-- to keep my kids safe... for the last 2 1/2 minutes that I can... before the world gets too big for me to fight off!" "I didn't realize I had to protect them from you!" "You can't protect them." "Stuff happens." "Not in my house!" "Maybe it's biology." "We don't worry the way women do because we don't know what it's like to carry a child... just like they don't know what it's like to carry..." "Uh, I'm looking for some kind of sports analogy." "I told you last night I grounded him." "That's not enough." "What do you want me to do, give him 20 lashes?" "No." "What you're doing isn't enough-- the way you talk to him, the way you're avoiding this." "Look, I just need to know that you understand what's at stake here." "What's at stake here is teaching Eli..." " to make his own choices..." " Yes." "Even if he falls down or gets his heart broken." "Gets his heart broken?" "Rick, last week they found two kids doing heroin in the underpass at Eli's school." "We are not talking about his feelings." "Why do these conversations always turn into "Dateline"?" "Eli's gonna be fine." "In some neighborhoods, the odds are kids won't even have a chance to grow up." "But that's what I'm saying!" "You just don't get it." "You never have." "You have cornered the market on worry." "There's very little left for me." "Well, I worry because you don't." "No, Karen, you make an art of worrying!" "I couldn't possibly compete." "Look, all I'm saying is that kids experiment." "No, Rick." "Not kids... your kid... your son who needs you." "And you know what?" "Let's be honest here." "There's a medical history to consider." "I have breast cancer in my family, and you have alcoholism-- your father and your brother" "Damn it!" "He is not an alcoholic because he drinks beers at a party!" "No, mother, I'm not gonna call." "She has a phone if she feels that way." "Mom" "Mom, it's between us." "I'll talk to you later." "So you're just never letting her back in the house?" "That's not what this is about." "Then why don't you explain it?" "Grace..." "Oh, honey, I know that" "I know that it probably seems like I'm being harsh... but it's a big deal." "It's the biggest deal." "I think you're just jealous 'cause I have more in common with Judy!" "I don't think I can take another divorce." "Rad party, huh?" "It was the best." "Actually, it was kind of scary." "Yeah." "Did something happen with Daniel?" "No." "I" "Well, 'cause last week, he asked about you... and I thought maybe he had acted like an idiot or something." "Oh." "No." "Okay." "It was really cool you called 911." "Yeah, well, I'm still grounded." "Join the club." "Sammler-loser!" "Give me the ball back, Roger." "Obviously not grounded." "Yeah." "Thanks for the ant farm." "Oh, my God-- Evan Fisher." "No more beer smell." "This is cool." "When did we get that?" "Months ago." "What do you want?" "Ramen?" "Stop it." "No, really, 'cause I'm ready for my lesson in excellent mothering." "Let me just get my notebook, though." "I can improve." "I know I can." "Judy, I left my kids with you." "Yeah, well, that was your mistake." "I left my kids with you." "Yeah, and you know what?" "Your kids are so filled up with your fear, they can't see straight." "Oh, Judy, that's not true." "For about five minutes, Grace stopped hating herself and got out into the world." "Yeah, the party was scary, but that's nothing." "It's gonna get a whole lot worse, and she has to be able to handle herself." "You've got to let go." "Not to you, I don't." "Well, you can't stop it." "It's already started." " I know." " You obviously don't know." "Yes, I do." "You think I don't feel it every day... when she walks 10 paces ahead of me... or when she looks at me like she's gonna slug me... 'cause I picked up the wrong video?" "These days, I can't even touch her unless she's sick." "But you, you know... everything you do is magic." "You get to give her courage." "You get to hear about the boy." "I have a leather jacket." "She didn't even..." "She just wants yours." "Yeah, well, because I'm not her mother, okay?" "Because your bond is so strong... she has to pull herself away that much harder... to prove to herself she can do it without you." "I mean, don't get me wrong, okay?" "I love it, all right?" "I feed on it." "I pretend it's about me and my fabulousness... but the fact is, it's just about you." "It is about you and your fabulousness." "Really?" "'Cause I feel like a pretty crappy role model." "Well, at least I come from a rich literary tradition... of lonely ramen-eating aunts." "Oh, Judy." "You'd make a wonderful mother." "I've only ever made sure..." "I didn't have kids, you know?" "I'm afraid I don't deserve them." "None of us do." "She'll come back, you know?" "She's not even that far away." "You better watch out for her." "I will." "Would you give this to her for me?" "Yeah." "Can I have yours?" "My brother and I started drinking when he was 12 and I was 13... and at a certain point, I just stopped." "But Mikey... he never..." "He won't." "He can't." "And what is that?" "Why is it-- Why is it him and not me?" "Is it--Is it luck, fate, biochemistry?" "Because Karen's right." "It is in my family." "What are we gonna have for supper?" "Can I go work at the library?" "I'll be back by 9:00." "Yeah, sure." "But I need to ask you something." "How come you said you weren't gonna drink and then you did?" "I don't know." "E, you stood in the street out there... and you told your mom you weren't gonna drink." "How could you do that?" "Why do you all of a sudden care?" "Eli sleeps with his feet out of the end of the bed... just like I do." "How do I protect him from the world... when there are so many ways that I may have already messed him up just by... just by being me?" "You don't--You don't think that I care about drinking and driving?" "Dad, look, a lot of the times... you act like we're friends or something... and that's cool, 'cause I like that." "It makes me feel like you respect me." "But then you just-- you change on a dime." "Eli, I can't be your dad and your friend at the same time." "No, no, I don't mean that." "I know you have to be the dad." "What I'm saying is..." "I already know what's right and what's not, okay?" "I can take care of that myself." "Well, you didn't." "I drank some beer, okay?" "I didn't get in" "I know I told you that the car wouldn't start... but I didn't get in the car and drive, I called you." "When that idiot Roger fell over..." "I was the one who called 911." "You called 911?" "Yes, dad, I called 911." "You know, it's like deep down... you feel like I'm this bad kid or something... and I'm not." "I'm a good kid, dad." "Yes." "Yes, you are." "You don't worry too much." "Thank you." "Just so you know, I would have worried, too." "I would want you to." "Kiss your boyfriend." "My mother told me that being a parent... means getting used to the idea... that your children are hostages to fate." "But I like this thing someone else said... which is that deciding to have kids... means forever letting your heart... walk around outside your body." "Hearts." "Nail file, screwdriver, tweezers... pen cap... pocketknife... sewing needle, house key... bobby pin, coat hanger, protractor, scissors..."