"¶ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ¶" "¶ On the other side. ¶" "¶ Well, I paid a visit ¶" "¶ While it's possible I missed it ¶" "¶ It seemed different yet exactly the same ¶" "¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶" "¶ Till further notice ¶" "¶ Till further notice ¶" "¶ I'm in between ¶" "¶ I'm in between ¶" "¶ From where I'm standing ¶" "¶ From where I'm standing ¶" "¶ My grass is green. ¶" "¶ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ¶" "¶ On the other side. ¶" "Captioningsponsoredby THE U.S.DEPARTMENTOF EDUCATION andNICKELODEON" "( catsup slurping )" "Yech!" "Carl!" "Sorry, but I can't be held responsible for any bad luck today." "What's today?" "Duh!" "Friday, the 13th-- my favorite holiday." "What rock do you live under?" "The same rock as my brother, who can't keep from making a mess on any day." "My first day off in ten days and I got to hang around for the plumber." "I've heard of a clogged drain, but a faucet?" "Does this mean no shower tonight?" "If the plumber can't fix the problem, it'll be sponge baths all around." "( Ginger groans )" "Okay, let me have them." "I got to get you kids to school and fly back." "They charge whether you're home or not." "( engine rumbles, thenbackfires)" "CARL:" "Sponge baths." "I don't call that bad luck." "I see now that I'm going to have to do everything within my power to tempt the fates." "What's so great about bad luck?" "What's great about it is that it can lead to good luck, like last year when Gordo slipped on a burrito and broke a femur." "You call that lucky?" "Think about it." "She had all those cool steel pins put in." "Now she can set off metal detectors totally naked." "That's not just luck, my friend, it's performance art in some circles." "Is it supposed to make that noise?" "When it doesn't, I know I should worry." "( engine backfiring )" "Hey, do you think it'll explode all at once or be slowly devoured in flames?" "Don't be ridiculous... ( all scream )" "LOIS:" "Everybody out, now!" "( Ginger yells, fabric tears )" "Ah, great!" "CARL:" "Talk about your reverse bad luck." "How rude." "Why don't they stop?" "Maybe because you're a four-foot-tall flasher in a hockey mask." "Well, I hope you're happy." "You finally got your bad luck." "I plan on doing a lot better than this." "Well, quelle surprise!" "MOTHER:" "Oh, dear-- have you called traveler's aid?" "I'd say it's a must." "Why, that auto is ancient." "Good... or should I say "bad" morning, ladies and gents." "Unfortunately Mama is sans cellular and me without my walkie-talkie as bad luck would have it." "No cell phone?" "Tsk-tsk-tsk." "A 21st-century requirement." "Winston, would you do the honors." "With pleasure, Miss." "Ginger!" "This means we can drive you to school." "And, uh, perhaps Winston can mend your shirt for you." "BRANDON:" "He's quite handy with a needle and thread." "Uh, no, no, that's okay." "It's just a little tear." "MAN:" "Need help there, Ma'am?" "Hey, you're the plumber I called." "You're Mrs. Foutley?" "Well..." "actually it's Miss." "Can I do the honors and call you a tow truck?" "Already got one coming, but, uh..." "I could use a ride home." "Well, I could give you one." "( both laughing )" "And that little puppy, as you so amusingly call it, is for steaming cappuccinos." "But confidentially, it is also quite effective on hot chocolate." "Or loogies, I'm guessing." "COURTNEY:" "Espresso, Mama?" "That would be lovely." "Ginger, can I tempt you?" "Uh, no thanks." "Had mine already." "Of course, silly me." "I'll pass." "Caffeine makes me moody." "Whoa!" "Here you are, Mama." "Lovely, dear." "Thank you so much." "You're welcome." "Ohhh!" "Carl, that was my paper!" "( giggling )" "I'm getting a little ticked here." "How come you're the one having the unlucky day while I'm the one working for it?" "Every day is an unlucky day when I'm commuting with you!" "COURTNEY:" "Care for another, Mama?" "MOTHER:" "I'd love one, thank you." "GINGER:" "It'sliketheGriplings havethisperfectfamily." "They say "please," they say "thank you,"" "they say "you're welcome."" "No fuss, no muss." "And then there's my family." "The anti- Griplings." "GINGER:" "Twice over." "DODIE:" "You can't pick the family you're born into." "Sometimes it'd be nice if you could." "MACIE:" "I know what you mean." "Every now and then I picture myself in a family of trapeze artists." "But Macie, you're afraid of heights." "I know, that's why when I picture it," "I also picture a big safety net." "I think what Macie's saying is that we all wonder, "what if"?" "Yeah, well, these days," "I've been wondering more than occasionally." "This is perfect." "We can rig it to the roof of my house, then when there's a lightning storm, hello natural disaster." "Technically, that's courting danger, not bad luck." "A minor detail." "Anyway, there's not a cloud in the sky." "Sorry, my friend, there's going to be a storm today..." "I feel it." "No, there isn't, Carl." "I watched the weather channel with my dad." "You and your dad watch the weather channel together?" "It's a bonding thing." "My mom encourages it." "( cat meows )" "A black cat!" "Maybe he'll cross our path." "That means bad luck for sure." "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." "Come on, come here." "Oh!" "Darn cat." "He doesn't know it's Friday, the 13th, Carl." "Maybe we can find a ladder to walk under." "Well, okay, but they did all the repainting last year." "Hoods, could you try to be a little more positive about being negative?" "This just might be harder than we think, that's all." "Way to work that tool, Buzz-- not a shattered tile in the bunch." "Well, it's all in the wrist-- firm but gentle." "Show 'em who's boss." "And how!" "BUZZ:" "Uh-uh." "I don't like the looks of this bulge here-- in your wall." "Something's squeezing off the water flow." "( gasps )" "Holy kamody!" "You better get the fire department on the line and sooner rather than later." "Wh-what is it?" "What's wrong?" "And you can call me Lois." "You've got yourself a vicious mold problem here, Lois." "Vicious?" "That's a pretty strong word to describe mold, especially since you can probably take it out with a foaming cleanser and some elbow grease." "Not this kind of mold, Lois." "I've only seen this kind of mold once before and that was on the disaster network." "This kind of mold can destroy a house." "Oh, but I haven't finished paying for it yet." "That's probably the lamest excuse you've ever heard, right?" "Oh, I've heard lamer." "So, would it be okay if I handed it in Monday?" "Of course, Ginger, no problem." "Got an extension." "Oh, I'm glad." "Your day is turning around." "It's about time." "I was starting to think I was at Unlucky Junior High." "ANNOUNCER:" "Ginger Foutley, please report to the principal's office immediately." "Oh, no!" "Now what?" "CARL:" "I found it in the trash." "( yells )" "No opening an umbrella indoors, Carl." "Bad luck, you know." "BOTH:" "Duh-uh!" "Whole point, Brandonio." "But Carl, I'm starting to wonder." "If you go around looking for bad luck, how can you find it?" "Because if you do, then bad luck becomes good luck, and then what?" "Boys, hate to rain on your parade, Carl Foutley, but you're wanted in the principal's office immediately." "Brandon, you've got a sandwich on your head." "Oh!" "Get it off me, get it off me, get it off me!" "Could it finally be some bad luck?" "I'm hoping." "( sniffs )" "Ew!" "Ginger, I'm afraid a rare, lethal mold has been discovered in your home." "Your whole house has to be tented." "You'll be given ten minutes to go in and retrieve your valuable belongings." "But you'll have to wear regulation hazardous waste disposal suits." "Oh, no." "Oh, yes!" "Gross!" "And, Ginger, need I say there's a lesson in... hygiene here?" "( chuckling )" "Carl." "This is no time for laughs." "Our family will go down in Friday, the 13th history." "I'll remind my mom to pick up tile cleaner." "Festering inside the Foutley bathroom was a dirty secret, what officials are now calling "the F-13 mold."" "Must be a slow news day." "Well, we just got the word." "We're being tented, too." "Oh, no." "Don't tell me they found our mold in your house." "Nah, they're only doing it as a precaution." "I'm really sorry, Darren." "Don't worry about it." "Where you staying?" "Oh, they'll be staying with us." "As you know, we have a rumpus room." "Well, good luck getting your possessions." "See you at school." "Now, the only question is:" "what will you take with you?" "All I want is my journal." "But you always carry it with you." "And the one day I forget it." "You know, I'm beginning to think there really is something to this Friday, the 13th stuff." "We did it, Hoods." "Success at last." "I'd like to remind you, they're not tenting my house, Carl." "It's success for both of us." "Because you know what the best part is?" "It's a gift that keeps on giving." "You mean..." "I'm going to collect a mold specimen so powerful it'll make your gym sneakers jealous." "Do you really want to be in the mold business?" "You're asking me that question?" "Now, get into the library fast and take out that book on mold." "I've got to know what precautions to take." "I'll radio you." "Give me 15 minutes." "They say it's a stage-4 stachybotrys." "No kidding!" "REPORTER:" "Let's get a word with the little girl so accustomed to living in deadly filth." "Uh, Miss?" "( breathing through gas mask )" "Approaching target." "Subject appears to be spreading." "Keep it down, Carl." "I'm in the library." "Okay, now be ready to clamp down on the lid of the jar as soon as you have the sample." "Extreme caution urged, Carl." "I repeat, extreme caution." "LOIS:" "Carl!" "What are you doing?" "!" "You're supposed to be gathering the things that matter most to you-- remember?" "But that's exactly what I'm doing, Mom." "You're not going anywhere near that mold!" "End of argument." "CARL:" "Aw." "Carl, I said clamp down on the lid!" "Shh, shh, shh!" "Oh, where are you?" "Uh, hey!" "You'll have your things back in a few hours if the tests come back negative after we irradiate them." "Irradiate?" "Don't worry, you'll get it back in one piece." "Your foot bath, too, Mrs. Foutley." "Oh, but I wanted to..." "LOIS:" "Ginger, he said we'd get our stuff back." "Now, let the man do his job." "Now, where's the exit door on this thing?" "I'm getting hot." "Ginger Foutley, what possession did you take?" "Her diary, of course." "She's always scribbling in it." "I took my electric foot bath." "A nightly soak really softens the corns, you know." "What was it like in the house?" "LOIS:" "Same as always-- dishes in the sink," "Carl's dirty underpants on the doorknob." "Did you see this so-called F-13 mold?" "Briefly." "But I've seen Carl drag home scarier looking stuff." "And that's Carl with a "C."" "You said you were disappointed you couldn't obtain a mold sample?" "Oh, completely." "I'm a total mold and rot aficionado, even collected samples from my mom's feet." "You know what they say:" ""healthcare workers have the best fungus among us."" "GINGER:" "I can't believe it!" "Would you look at my mom and Carl." "Sometimes it's better to just face the press." "Otherwise, they just hound you until you crack and then misquote you." "GINGER:" "Face them?" "They're enjoying it!" "I can't believe you just stood there and told the whole world about our business." "I figure they'd find out anyway so I might as well put our spin on it." "I don't think you should have revealed things about our disgusting family." "Ginger!" "That's your mom you're talking to." "Maybe we should continue this conversation at the Bishops." "You continue it at the Bishops." "Ginger, aren't you coming?" "I'm not an expert on families, but shouldn't you try to stick together?" "Ginger, I want you to know this is fascinating entertainment." "And now you've been left homeless." "Great third act." "( snickering )" "LOIS:" "She's not homeless." "She's been invited to stay in the Bishop's rumpus room with the rest of her family." "I don't have a family." "I have a circus act!" "Rumpus room?" "Miranda?" "It's a family room." "Uh, family room?" "Like a living room with plaid furniture and a pullout sofa." "How did she know?" "Pullout?" "Into what, I wonder?" "Probably multi-hued shag carpeting." "Oh, Ginger, you can't." "We've just completed the unexpected guest wing." "You can stay till your moldy old house is clean." "It might even improve your image." "Oh, you're invited too, Mrs. Foutley." "Thanks, Courtney, but I've already taken the Bishops up on their offer... and so has Ginger." "No, I haven't." "Ginger." "Thanks, Courtney," "I'd love to stay with you." "And of course we have a button for just about everything-- lights, TV, music." "Wow... this room sure is big." "Our architect calls it "modern chateau."" "And can you believe it?" "This is only the bedroom." "There's a living room, dining room, screening room." "In just this wing?" "Privacy is important, don't you think?" "I sure do." "I mean, I certainly wouldn't want to be burdened by other people's..." "well, noises." "Anyway, dinner's at 7:00." "Oh, hey-- you want to hang out or something?" "Hmm... maybe later." "I need my alone time." "If you need anything, just call." "Call?" "Hey, if I need anything, I'll just walk to your room." "Oh, I suppose." "But it's an awfully long walk." "This'll be, uh... just great." "Thanks, Joanne." "Uh-huh." "No, uh... no problem." "We love having you here." "The only reason we're staying here is because Carl can walk to school and I can take the bus to work." "Uh-huh." "Now, right through there is the bathroom." "Not a spore in sight." "Joanne, they said the mold had probably been growing since before I bought the house." "Of course." "Well, uh... dinner should be ready in about an hour." "Need any help?" "Uh... no, no." "( sighs )" "CARL:" "So instead of collecting a lethal mold sample the good luck is us rooming together for a few days." "Carl, my mom just washed the bedspread." "Does that mean you want me to take my shoes off?" "Yeah." "That's what it means." "Still hurts we didn't get that mold sample, doesn't it?" "Uh-huh." "I know, I'm feeling it, too." "So... what do you want to do?" "I bet there's plenty of mischief to be made in the Bishop household." "The thing of it is, I'm trying to do my homework." "I do my homework until 5:30." "Then I go and watch TV with my dad when he comes home." "We're not talking the weather channel again, are we?" "It's a choice, Carl." "And there's a tropical depression building off the western coast of Mexico." "We're... kind of watching it." "Wouldn't you know it-- bad luck turned to good luck and now it's just boring luck." "GINGER:" "Uh... ( clears throat ) so, uh... should we just dig in, or...?" "We're waiting for Mr. Gripling." "Daddy's running a little late." "Work keeps him very busy." "Oh... right." "Gotcha." "Oh, by the way, thanks." "I mean, thank you for loaning me the outfit, Courtney." "Oh, you're welcome." "We always dress for dinner." "Shows the proper discipline." "Yeah, I know what you mean." "It's kind of hard to slurp your soup in a dress like this." "( laughs nervously )" "Mama, what does "slurp your soup" mean?" "I'm not sure." "( whispering )" "Good news-- father's here." "Oh, wow, I finally get to meet the mysterious Mr. Gripling." "Mr. Gripling is on line one, Madam." "Thank you, Winston." "Hello, dear." "Hi, Daddy." "Ah, Father." "VOICE:" "Hello, all." "Prescott, we have company this evening." "VOICE:" "Oh?" "Anyone I know." "It's Ginger Foutley, Daddy-- the mold girl." "VOICE:" "Well, hello, Ginger." "Nice to meet you." "Uh... hi, Mr. Gripling." "Nice to meet you, too." "BRANDON:" "Cross my Western Front, will you?" "Take that, Carl Foutley!" "( sighs loudly )" "( slow ticking )" "( doorbell rings )" "Uh... do you want me to get the...?" "No, that's all right, dear." "Winston will see to it." "A visitor to see you, Miss." "Me?" "Oh." "Ginger Foutley?" "Uh-huh." "This is from your mother." "Said you'd want it." "Sign here." "Did my mom say anything?" "No, but there was this annoying kid who tried to buy your diary off me." "Oh..." "Carl." "Like I can be bought." "REPORTER ( on TV ):" "Did you see this so-called F-13 mold?" "MOTHER:" "Briefly, but I've seen Carl drag home scarier looking stuff." "And that's Carl with a "C."" "You said you were disappointed you couldn't obtain a mold sample?" "GINGER:" ""They said take the things that mean the most to you." ""I think I left them behind." ""Why is it when you have time" ""to think about stuff you did in a moment of crisis you suddenly have big regrets and feel..." "lonely?"" "JOANNE ( yawning ):" "Oh, Ginger?" "You didn't come all this way by yourself, did you?" "Winston dropped me off." "LOIS:" "Ginge?" "DODIE:" "Ginger?" "Hi, Dodie." "I'm sorry I was so..." "Obnoxious, obstinate, ungrateful?" "Yeah, all the above." "Talk to you tomorrow, okay?" "Come on, Deirdre Hortense." "It's late." "I missed you guys." "Um..." "I'm sorry." "We missed you, too." "And we're sorry, too." "Maybe sometimes we are like a circus family." "But with the emphasis on family." "( both sigh )" "It may not be the Griplings, but there's plenty of room, and boy, is it clean!" "( Ginger laughing )" "Captioningsponsoredby THE U.S.DEPARTMENTOF EDUCATION andNICKELODEON" "Captioned by MediaAccessGroupatWGBH  access.wgbh.org" "MAN:" "They say it's a stage-4 stachybotrys." "WOMAN:" "No kidding!"