"Mr. Thompson." "Voting line is right over there." "please." "Mom?" "Mommy?" "Where's my mommy?" "little boy?" "Mom!" "Security!" "This little boy lost his mom." "She said to wait for her by the plastic boxes if I got lost!" "It's all right." "Come on." "Mom!" "Where's my mom?" "little boy?" "sir?" "she says!" "Mom!" "I lost my mom!" "sir?" "dude." "No way." "Mom!" "I can't find my mom!" "sir?" "it's getting old." "Mom!" "and the President of the United States" "Barack Obama." "I assure you all I am heading back to the White House more titillated than ever." "be happy that you live in a country where people get to elect a president." "watching the results." "I figured." "You're probably sitting on the couch telling your brother how great it is to live in a democratic society." "Could you come over for a second?" "I've got something to show you." "273)}– What?" "– Please." "It's kind of important." "fatass?" "You happy with the election results?" "It doesn't matter." "and I stand behind the President." "It's such a democratic thing to say." "What if I were to tell you that I have something in my room that could change the entire election?" "273)}– Sure you do." "– What if I did?" "What could you have in your room that could change the outcome?" "Pretty sweet?" "273)}– What the hell is this?" "– What's it look like?" "Hundreds of thousands of votes from all the swing states." "I don't believe it." "if you ask me." "Why do you have these?" "Funny how voting works in this country." "a person... actually got up and drove to a voting area to make sure their voice was heard." "Here's another patriotic American." "He probably spent hours listening to all those presidential ads and tuned in to every debate." "Knock it off!" "Now believe it or not." "I actually need your help." "you have to promise not to tell anyone." "you fat turd!" "little firefly." "It's all part of the plan." "there's a Mr. Pun Lee Tsao on the phone for you." "Mom." "I'll take that in the study." "Do I have a study?" "I don't think I have a study." "That's fine." "Mr. President." "sir." "It's General Tsao." "General." "We presume you are pleased with the election results?" "Very pleased." "Thank you for your help." "will now begin filling your side of the bargain." "You'll have what you want." "I'll meet you in three hours. but we can't possibly give the Chinese what you promised." "but the Chinese secured my victory." "I have to fulfill my obligation." "And what if General Tsao suddenly gets the courage to go to the press with all this?" "Don't worry." "Everyone knows General Tsao's chicken." "We have a report you might be involved in voter fraud." "You mind if we search your room?" "but I know my rights." "You can't without a warrant." "And I can't give you permission." "268)}This isn't a joke!" "268)}You have to believe me." "The election depends on it." "Let's just see." "You can't do that!" "Upstairs!" "First door on the left!" "I know my rights!" "Stop right now!" "But they were here." "stacks of ballots from states all over the country! that the government could never barge into our lives unwarranted." "But it's all changing." "it's all changing." "what have we done?" "– I guess this country is changing." "little boy." "So sorry." "You've got to believe me!" "They've got to be here somewhere!" "We have to find them!" "But where could they be?" "Where?" "And why would I care so much about the election results?" "So many questions." "So little time." "Guys!" "You guys!" "Cartman hid tens of thousands of voter ballots somewhere." "He's changed the outcome of the election!" "Really?" "That's pretty impressive." "he's hid them somewhere." "We have to find them." "But I thought Obama won pretty easily." "these votes in swing states can matter!" "I don't understand that stuff at all." "I need Morgan Freeman to explain it." "I love when he explains stuff." "I'm always relieved when he shows up and explains the plot to me." "this is serious!" "Cartman has stolen the election!" "Maybe he had a good reason." "don't you?" "Why?" "What did he tell you?" "Nothing!" "And I swore to secrecy!" "and it isn't what you think." "Don't make me say any more." "don't you see?" "Don't make me swallow this!" "I'll do it!" "273)}– Is that an MM?" "– It's an almond MM." "I'm very allergic to almonds!" "Please!" "Just leave me alone!" "Then you have to tell us." "273)}– Don't let him swallow it!" "– Open his mouth!" "He ate it!" "Where are the ballots going?" "Where are they going?" "I hate almonds." "sir?" "the President is on his way to pick up the ballots." "Where are they?" "They're nearby." "Very safe and sound." "I just might want to alter our deal a little bit." "Alter our..." "The President will be here in moments with what we want!" "Tell me again exactly what you plan on doing with it." "it's the President!" "sir!" "Thank you all for your votes of confidence." "If I could just be a little rude and ask for a nice quiet meal in private?" "Of course!" "Let's let the President have some peace and quiet!" "The President eats at Red Lobster!" "He's just a normal guy like me!" "the President says get out!" "I didn't actually vote for him." "where are the ballots?" "Your friend has had a severe allergic reaction." "but don't take too long." "You have to tell us what Cartman is up to." "I'm gonna tell your dad you helped get the wrong person elected." "Then tell me what Cartman is up to." "273)}– What'd he say?" "– He said Cartman's helping the Chinese." "Why isn't the election the biggest thing that happened this week?" "The Chinese want to protect something important." "You mean the missile defense program?" "Where's Cartman supposed to hand over the ballots?" "Where?" "He said at Red..." "Red..." "Red Lobster." "do you have the missing ballots or not? but we don't have them right here with us now." "You want me to come in again?" "What the fuck is this?" "where are the missing ballots?" "President Obama?" "I was just about to get what I wanted!" "we got you re-elected. so that we can make the sequels. as long as my presidency was secure." "it is not secure." "the movies?" "What the hell is going on?" "What's going on is the sale of America's greatest asset. it made this country incredibly powerful." "Morgan Freeman? and the Chinese saw a way to obtain it for themselves." "The Chinese government knew that President Obama would help them take the rights from Disney if they helped him get re-elected. and won't give them to anyone until his demands are met." "You've all got quite a mess on your hands." "I wish you well with it." "Morgan Freeman." "you show up? I earn a freckle." "Mr. President." "I get to play the part of Luke Skywalker's son." "Cartman Skywalker." "That was not the deal." "We will not be bullied by you! General Tsao." "I get it." "General Tsao's chicken." "You're absolutely sure about this?" "Mike." "We might have won this thing!" "We have some incredible news." "There are rumors of hundreds of thousands of stolen ballots." "You might have won the election after all!" "273)}– There's nothing here." "– Anything in the basement?" "Just old junk and boxes of Eric's mom's dildos." "Keep looking!" "what's going on?" "Your son took some things that didn't belong to him." "I told him to respect people's property." "What did he take?" "He stole ballots in all the swing states so the wrong person was elected." "No TV for him for a few days." "not even one Scooby clue." "you guys!" "Look!" "it's Boba Fett's ship!" "Just what the dickens is going on here?" "it's him again." "What's this about a deal with the Chinese?" "I own all this shit now! it's all mine!" "where are the missing ballots?" "You just couldn't keep your mouth shut." "I didn't say anything!" "I promise!" "we can't trust anyone." "and not you." "I swear!" "It's OK." "Nobody's gonna find the election ballots." "somewhere nobody would ever look." "A place in town people barely even know exists." "guys!" "Looking to buy a Hummer today?" "We're having a Rocktober sales event that's going into Rockvember." "there!" "Interested in test driving a Hummer today? got that nice bicep hanging out the window rolled down." "What do you think?" "guys!" "Every Hummer comes with a free Segway." "Why don't you shut up?" "that's all." "but no sign of the missing ballots." "leave us alone. the reason this country works is because people go out and vote." "mouse." "You only care because Romney would have been tougher on the Chinese." "Why don't you just tell me where the missing ballots are?" "It'll make your death a lot less painful." "they're somewhere nobody will ever find them." "Obama will stay president." "And you'll lose Star Wars to the Chinese forever." "huh?" "How would you like to have one?" "I can get those at Kmart." "you'll have to do better than that." "Like what?" "I want a part in the new movies." "Why didn't you just come to me in the first place?" "I'm your guy." "I get to be Luke Skywalker's son." "And there has to be a character called Jewbacca." "you can be Han Solo's son." "I don't give two shits and a Popsicle." "then..." "I suppose that making the votes public is the right thing to do." "I can get the ballots for you." "I'll need a blaster and a tauntaun." "Sure thing!" "I got tauntauns coming out my asshole!" "This is Breaking Election News!" "Hold that phone!" "but rumors are running rampant that hundreds of thousands of ballots for Mitt Romney were stolen." "We need everyone's help here." "hundreds of them." "your attics..." "And you claim that a "General Tsao hired your friend "fat ass" to steal the ballots." "the Chinese are refusing to speak with us." "Probably because General Tsao's chicken." "Is that it?" "Did he just..." "We're getting confirmation that was the millionth time! as a little boy has just made the General Tsao's chicken joke for the one millionth time." "a favorite for years." "You've just hit the magic number." "How's it feel?" "I..." "He's being presented with the check now." "000 gift certificate to PF Chang's." "but someone's finally done it." "We tried." "It just seems so unfair." "People won't ever even know the wrong man is in the White House." "Look at it this way." "Almost half the country did actually vote for Obama. does it matter that much?" "It matters." "Come on down to Stevenson's Hummer for our big Christmas in Humvember sale!" "Not sure what to get your loved one this holiday season?" "Why not give them a nice Hummer?" "Nothing beats a Hummer on Christmas morning!" "When's the last time you saw somebody drive a Hummer?" "like 2010." "Oh my God." "Looking for a Hummer today?" "Got some 2009s here." "Never been driven... ever." "get out of here." "Look!" "There they are!" "there!" "huh?" "Let me show you these babies!" "you guys!" "They followed us!" "yes!" "Asians!" "guys!" "Get out of our way." "These don't belong to you." "They belong to the people!" "I am tired of playing games!" "This little farce is over!" "General Tsao." "officers!" "it's a sales rush!" "Oh my God!" "Are those what I think they are?" "Kyle?" "We found something." "At the Hummer sales lot outside of town." "You don't understand!" "We are trying to protect the greatest film series ever made!" "Protect it?" "What the hell is going on here?" "Perhaps I can explain it to you." "it turns out the only reason the Chinese so desperately wanted Star Wars is because they're afraid that Disney might not be the right place for it." "The Chinese simply want to guard Star Wars' impeccable legacy." "Is that Morgan Freeman?" "we are at a crossroads. but he will no doubt keep Star Wars from the Chinese and allow Disney to keep it instead." "So we have to ask ourselves:" "what's more important? or that Star Wars is with people who will protect it most?" "what is it?" "Over?" "kid?" "If you put it that way... unit 4!" "What have you found?" "sir." "that's all." "out." "But Obama wasn't really elected." "Don't you people care?"