"Dennis... that's my name." "Finn used to call me dipshit, but that was before everything changed." "I've wondered about it ever since." "How horrible things can become good at the end of the day." "Take me, for example..." "Six months ago I was still..." "unenlightened." "Unaware of how Christmas would change everything." "It was a strange Christmas." "It was too hot." "I started to have nightmares." "I've lived with my big brother, Carl, ever since our parents left us..." "Hold the damn ladder!" "Carl takes such good care of me." "We lived in the country." "Carl called it the center of the world." "A damn fine place to live." "Right, Dennis?" "We'll always live here." "Right, Carl?" "Yes, and when Finn leaves, you can move out of the trailer." "Anton and Elly lived across from us." "Anton leased the house to our family years ago." "He'd regretted it ever since." "He was stuck with us." "Anton was a keen angler, but only sought one particular fish   the pike that took four of his toes when he was little." "Iron Hans!" "I'm not sure who was fishing for whom." "Finn lived with us too." "He'd been working on his Christmas treats for days now." "Dennis?" "What's two times two?" " Four?" " You sure?" "What's one times one?" " One." " What's two times two then?" "Two?" "Did you hear that, Carl?" "He fell for it again." "You dipshit!" "Carl owed Finn money so we were stuck with him." " It looks neat, Carl." " I have a question." "Can a Christmas tree get psoriasis?" "... until Carl paid him back." "Finn?" "It's all right that you live here." "And even that you..." "use my toothbrush." "Ahh, shut up." "Give me my 20 grand and you'll never see me again." "As usual, I had put out rice pudding for Santa, along with my wish list." "I did it every year, and I got what I asked for every year." "Anton watched our every move." "It was his favorite pastime." "Just like their parents:" "Trailer-trash." " Why the hell did I lease to those..." " Where's the pine aroma spray?" "It all started to go wrong the night before Christmas   while Finn was finishing his Christmas treats." "Too much TV is bad for you." "You should read something, Dennis." "There!" "The damn treats are ready." "Watch your figure, Dennis." "Better go to bed so you're fresh for tomorrow." "Yeah..." "Goodnight." "To hell with the both of you, then." "Yeah." "Think I'll go to bed." "Goodnight, Finn." "Nighty night." "Merry Christmas, Rasmus." "Merry Christmas, Finn." "Carl..." "Carl." "Wake up!" "Finn's turned blue." "Carl, look, he's all blue." "Damn it." "Hello, I'd like to call an ambulance, please." "Are you nuts?" "The whole garage is full of fireworks." "We can't have the police and ambulance people running around." "What will we do, then?" "Looks like old ferret-face has left us." "His name is Finn." "Him and his damn Christmas treats!" "We have to get rid of him." "That's not legal, is it?" "If we report it, we'll go to jail, and you can't handle that." "Can't we bury him in the garden?" "Like we did with Pernille?" "No." "He's not a canary, and they're too nosy over there." "We could burn him in the furnace." "If we cut him into smaller pieces." "Cut him up and burn him." "That would be best." " You shouldn't kill at Christmas." " He's already dead, isn't he?" "There's no difference if we do it here or in town." "Finn would prefer to be burned by us." "Killing is wrong, Carl." "It's holy." "You can't go around cutting up people, like in a sausage factory." " Heads or tails?" " What?" "We'll flip to see who cuts him up." "Heads or tails?" " Heads or tails?" " Heads..." "Under the fridge doesn't count." " Oh well, it didn't count." " But..." "Get the crosscut saw." "Dennis, get the crosscut saw." "Get the saw or I'll go completely crazy, get it?" "Fireworks" " I can't do this." " That's much too big a piece." " It will never fit in the furnace." " I have to pee." "No way." "Nice try." " I can't." " Start sawing, Dennis." "Just saw." " Saw!" " No." "Damn!" "Those were wicked acid drops!" "Get away!" "I hate the stench of boiled pig in the morning." " How else will it be ready for lunch?" " Make it the day before, you cow." "Dear Santa, I'd like a girlfriend." "I have never had one before, so I would like to try it." " Here's the fireworks, Hassan." " What the hell are you doing?" "Are you totally insane, dumbass?" "They got Erling last week, now he's spending Christmas behind bars!" " I'll get some money, okay?" " Okay." "Hello there." "What's a nice lady like you doing in a place like this?" "I mean, it's just that it's Christmas Eve." "I was wondering if you'd like to come home for a real Christmas Eve?" "Would you mind being a present for my little brother?" "You don't have to sleep with him." "Just dance and talk with him." "There's lots of food and drinks, so..." "Take good care now, okay?" "A thousand." "For the whole night." "Lady, you wouldn't happen to need some fireworks, would you?" "No, Finn." "It's Carl's favorite saw." "He'll go crazy." "It was a present." "He got it for his confirmation." "No!" "Do you have the money, Carl?" "Now you owe nine..." "nineteen thousand." " I should give you..." " Give me what?" "What is it, Carl?" " It's a BMW." "It's the cops." " What's going on?" "Talk to them." "I'll hide the stuff." " What should I say?" " Think of something." "No!" "Have you heard the one about the redhead and the gray-haired guy?" "The redhead, no, the guy with the gray hair said   what's it like to have burning hair?" "So the redhead says, you tell me   you've only got ashes left." "I'll be damned." "Rita?" "Hi." "So you came anyway." "Exactly." "This is Dennis, I told you about." "Dennis this is..." " Rita." " Howdy!" "Goddamn!" "What's all this then?" "A visitor?" " Hello there." " This is Finn." "He lives here." "Isn't that right?" "He'll be leaving us soon." "Rita." "Ahh, yeah." "Look at them curls." " Welcome, should we go inside?" " What else?" "Dipshit." "Anton, do you think we should change the curtains in the kitchen?" "The kitchen curtains?" "Shouldn't we replace them?" "Yeah, sure." "Something's wrong." "It must be the curtains." "Have you always been mute?" "You've lost..." "Ahh, you've just lost your voice." " Dennis." "Serve the food, will you?" " Yes." "It's what I always say." "There's nothing as real as a real Christmas." " Oh really, Finn?" " I hate people who, you know..." "Don't celebrate Christmas." "They don't know what they're missing." "We'll need some beers, too." "Right, Dennis?" "I apologize for how he acts." "He can't help it." "He was a normal kid, like everyone else." "Then our parents died, and he changed into a little boy." "He was 13, so I moved back home to take care of him." "He's got no other family." "That was his dad." "I would have taken it down, but Dennis wanted it there." "After that, our mother gave herself to Iron Hans." "Iron Hans is a giant old pike, that lives in the swamp." "For Christ's sake, Carl." "Don't tell her such fairy tales." "There's no giant pike living in that puddle." "Good job, Dennis." "Dennis, your apron." "Ridiculous!" "Look at that elf." " Cheers." " Cheers, Finn." "Damn it." "Bottoms up." "Damn it!" "Let's take a look at the presents." "Get it over and done with." "I thought you needed something for your varicose veins." "I ordered it from Japan." "It's for catching sharks." "Get that will you, Rasmus?" "Hear that, Rasmus?" "It's Santa." " Who is it?" " It's Santa." "Come in!" " Is anyone here called Dennis?" " That's me." "That's me." "For Christ's sake, knock it off." "Isn't there a Dennis here?" "Are you Dennis?" " Have you been good this year?" " I've been really, really good." "I believe you." "Let's see what in the sack." "What on Earth is that?" "Who is that for?" "To Dennis from Santa." "I knew my wish had come true, when Rita popped out of the sack." "The problem was that Finn thought that the present was for him." " Has Santa been around?" " Yeah, you just missed him." " Did he have any presents for me?" " You haven't been good, dipshit." "I've been really good, and really nice to you." "So if you don't start enjoying yourself, I'm going to go crazy." "Okay, okay." "I've been good." "Damn it." "Let's not argue." "It's Christmas." "Let's be friends." "Now see what Uncle Finn has made:" "Christmas treats." "Rita, listen up." "Listen." "Don't eat any of his treats." "Finn ate one last night, and went out like a light." "Take as many as you like." "I made them myself." "Here you go, help yourself." " Help yourself." " No, I don't think..." "Take one, damn it!" "They took ages to make." "What are you doing out here?" "At least go and talk to her." "I don't know what to say." "I like that you don't jabber so much." "I like the quiet types." "How about a little kiss?" "I gave you sweets, didn't I?" "A little Christmas kiss isn't too much to ask for." "How about a dance?" "Alright!" "Just hang on while Uncle Finn puts on some music." "Would you look at these ancient albums?" "Can I ask if she wants to dance with you?" "You dance so well, Dennis." "Damn it." " Are we going to dance, or what?" " It's all ruined." "Hey, Carl, you loser." "Hands off my beer." "I was just checking to see if you had any left." " I'll get some more." " Okay." "Here's the beer." "You're quite the dancer, huh?" "Hey, which beer's mine?" " Come here." " Bottoms up or you're a fag." "Let's get this damn party going." "Looks like Finn's had too much." " Good morning." "Merry Christmas." " Yeah..." "Finn." "Carl!" "Carl, wake up." "What is it, Dennis?" " Finn is dead." " Damn, not again." "This time it's true." "Damn." "Now we don't have a saw." "I didn't mean to." "I was just trying to help her." " What did you say?" " I slipped my treat in his beer." "Damn man, so did I!" "I put my treat in Finn's beer." " No wonder he bought it." " What do we do now?" "We have to get rid of him, before Rita wakes up." "If only he had eaten diet pills instead." " Won't he get cold?" " I hope so, or he'll stink even more." " He can't just stay in there." " No." "We should have finished him off last time." "Hello." "We were wondering if we could borrow a crosscut saw?" "I don't know." "Anton?" "Anton!" " What's all this about?" " They want to borrow a crossbow." "A crosscut saw!" "What for?" "To saw some firewood." " Of course they can borrow a saw." " Okay, I'll get it, but stay there." "We'll get rid of Rita, then dispose of Finn." "If we get caught, we go to jail, and you can't handle that." "If you're not tough, the others screw you in the ass." "What?" "Did they screw your ass?" "I was tough, damn it." "I already told you that." " So you screwed the others in..." " Stop!" "Let's get this sorted out." "Rita out of the house." "Finn into the furnace." "You make sure she goes, okay?" "Took it in the ass?" "!" " Finn has passed on." " Yeah, he took off." " Don't know where." " Sometimes he's gone for a week." "Sometimes two, don't worry about it." " If you can stay in Finn's room?" " That can be arranged, right, Carl?" "Here's a sheet and a towel for you." "Finn's clothes?" "I don't know." "I guess he was in too much of a rush to take them all." "You want to borrow them?" "Don't you have your own?" "Why not?" "He collects them." "Like stamps." "Maybe you can find a pair that fit, but you should wash them first." "Don't you want to take a bath?" "No, I mean, it's good if you have a headache." "The coast is clear." "She's in the bathroom." " She's taken down all the curtains." " Why?" " I didn't dare to ask." " Maybe she wants to wash them." " Maybe she's an exhibitionist." " Yeah." "What's that?" "Someone who likes being watched." " Do you think so?" " I don't know." "Oh, you need help with the shower?" "Just turn these two, then turn it on like this." "One, two, three." "One, to get ready..." "Two, to get steady..." "Three, to go..." "Hello there." "Carl, we can't send her away." "She's pregnant and it's Christmas." "What?" "Damn it, Finn." "How many times must I tell you?" "I hate that stench." "It's not me." "It's the neighbors." "What the hell are they up to?" "Elly." "Go over there and see what they're up to." "Hi." "I live in there." "In the house." "My name is Elly." "Rita?" "You're not from around here." "Are you from town?" "Are you related to Carl and Dennis?" "No?" "Your curls, are they natural?" "You're a hairdresser?" "I know it's here somewhere." "Is it okay to do it at your place?" "Great!" "But you have to see our house." "We built the house 24 years ago." "We moved in on our wedding day." "Back when Anton was still working, before his foot hurt too much." "Have a cookie." "We've lived here ever since." "The kitchen curtains need changing, apart from that we're happy." "I've always thought there was something wrong." "It must be them." "They've got to be replaced." "Don't worry, I don't bite." "Anton." "Rita?" "Like Rita Hayworth?" "Look at my lures." "You like them?" "You've got to see the big one." "What do you say?" "It's for Iron Hans." "Have you heard about the pike in the swamp?" "He won't get away now." "It'll be hard." "The slightest sound, and he knows what you're up to." "Iron Hans ruined my life." "I was just a kid dipping my toes in the water." "Now I'm a cripple." "Do you know what phantom pain is?" "I can feel the toes that are gone." "Like he's still chewing on them." " It's over now." "Justice will be done." " I knew it was here." " Oh, there you are." " Where did you think we were?" " This is Rita." " I know, we've met." "I brought this for you." "From the cafe I worked in." "Where I met Anton." "He worked for the Nordic Blackboard Company." "In the warehouse." "He was charming." "Well, not the first time." "He was grumpy." "He was upset about the potatoes." "He asked if I could make them better." "I said I could. "Can you?" he asked." ""How do you mean?" I asked." "Would you make my potatoes?" ""Okay", I said." "That's how it all started." "We haven't had a hairdresser's for ten years, since Karen moved." " She was married to Erling." " He was handsome." "A little too handsome?" " Damn it." " I didn't know what to say." "You could've thought of something." "At least asked them to wait." "Hold this." " That's why he started to drink." " Yeah, he lost his job." "He started hanging around the salon." "He was drunk most of the time." "It smells strange here." "Like at my sister's." "She lives next to the crematorium." "The father was a drunk, too." "He fell and broke his neck." "They're getting suspicious, Carl." "They're talking about smells   and some sister and a chromatarium." "It's the smell, Carl." "It's that..." "Damn." "He burns really badly." "You're so damn irritating." "Maybe they're calling the police." "I don't want to go to jail." "I'm one of the weak." "If only Mom was here." "Damn." "You're a genius, Dennis." "What's Mom got to do with Finn?" "It's important that you eat properly right now." "Here you go." "It's not kicking is it?" "There's nothing to see, is there?" "It's sounds very soft." "We're also very happy to have you here." "You have to leave tomorrow?" "Dennis, it's time." "Shut that mutt up, or it's joining Finn." "Finn have two feet." "He did, didn't he?" " I want to go home, Carl." " We must have burned them both." "I don't like being down by the swamp." "Well, Finn, you didn't believe in Iron Hans." "Now you'll meet him..." "that's just the way it goes." "Sorry, old ferret-face." "Really sorry." "Bye, bye, Finn." "Rita, it's not what you think." "We just wanted to help you." " It wasn't on purpose." " When we found out, he was dead." " I put my treat in his beer." " So did I." " What?" " So did I." "I put my candy in his beer." "But I didn't think he'd die." " I thought it was a sleeping pill." " You've got your voice back." "Yeah." "He may have been irritating, but he wasn't evil." "I didn't want him dead." "I didn't want a foot is in my bed." "There's a foot in my bed, and we're all murderers." "Poor Finn." "He was sweet." "Well, not sweet, but he was young." "He had all sorts of plans, but what did he put in that candy?" "And on Christmas Eve." "What a day to pick to die on." "But that doesn't matter when you're dead." "I didn't mean to kill him." "I had no idea..." "I didn't know that was going to kill him." "Hey." "Where's the rest of him?" "Where's Finn's head?" "Okay, Finn." "Now it's over now or I'll go completely crazy." "Today's going to be a fine day!" "Pâté, French pâté." "Maybe I'll have pâté." "Maybe a cheese sandwich." "We'll take a walk and forget about it." "Eat, Dennis." "You too, Carl." "Some cheese?" "With tomato on top?" "A nice little slice of tom..." "You killed Finn, didn't you?" "Cut him into pieces." "Fed him to Iron Hans." "Don't deny it." "This is serious." "I've always known what kind of people you are." "Here's the proof." "I'll give you one chance." "Get out of here." "Never come back." "Or I'll call the cops." "And you can forget the lease." "Shove it up your ass." " We must think of something, fast." " Yes." "If he calls the cops, we'll go to jail, and you can't handle that." "I'm one of the weak ones." "Do you really think they murdered Finn?" "They're such nice people." "And Rita's a hairdresser in town." "Hairdressers don't kill people." "I mean, she's not a barber." "Shut up, you fat cow." "I'll handle this." "Got it?" "Thank you." "What are we going to do?" "Where will we live?" "What about the house?" "I've always lived here." "We'll say it was an accident." "Make him see reason." "Reason isn't Anton's strong suit." "They killed Finn in cold blood, and now they're after me." "Maybe I should call the police." "Maybe it's just a misunderstanding." "Maybe it was natural causes." "Maybe it wasn't Finn's foot." "Get out." " Let me explain." " He didn't have a chance." "It was an accident." "I saw it all:" "The knife, the saw, the burning flesh, the garbage bags." "It all fits." "Now you're after me!" "Listen, Anton." "I knew it, damn it!" "They're going to kill me!" "Anton!" "Hey, hop on." "If we don't stop him, they'll think we killed him." " Iron Hans will have a nice meal." " We can't let him get eaten." "Do you want to go in there?" "He didn't survive a jump like that." "Finn started it." "I never want to hear another word about Christmas candy." "Let's go home." "It's over." "Let's try to forget the whole thing." "I'm sorry, Anton." "I'm really sorry." "There now, Elly." "He didn't feel a thing." "It was quick." "We'll always remember the good things he did." "Like when he lent us his saw." "And the time he shot Rasmus, and he had to go to the hospital." "The time he poured petroleum on our hemp plants." "All this pales in the light of Anton's good side." "Deep down, Anton was a good man." "And generally..." "he was a good neighbor." "Amen." "Our silver anniversary would have been in September." "Your tears flow with my conscience" "Sorry for all the things I said" "You didn't mean it to hurt" "But what do I do now?" "I wish it was all over..." "I think I'll retire now." "Can you please carry me to bed?" "I feel so weak." "You can sleep in Dennis' room." "He can sleep on the sofa." "I don't dare sleep alone, not after all that's happened." "I haven't slept alone in 24 years." "Rita." " Would you like to dance?" " Wait a minute." "You need to lie down, don't you, Carl?" "Oh, Carl." "Oh, Carl." "Carl." "Dipshit..." "Dipshit!" "Come here, Carl." "I have to show you something." " Wait a minute." " I'll go take a piss." "Carl!" " Wow." " What do you think?" " Can you go again?" " Of course." "I know I'm not bright, but I'd never treat you badly." "I know." "Damn." "We've been neighbors for years and then..." " Guess how many times we did it?" " I don't know." "She must have been bored." "She can't get enough." "You can tell it's been a while since she got any." "I can't touch Rita like that." "Not when she's pregnant." "It's not dangerous." "Most women get wild when there's a bun in the oven." "Go to it." "Things are looking up for us." "No Anton." "No Finn." "Just you and me, and our wonderful women." "You can live here with Rita, and I'll move in with Elly." "Know what we'll do?" "We'll plant a lawn between the two houses." "We could barbecue every summer." "Wouldn't that be great?" " Look at that, Carl." " Looks like a storm's coming." " Want to go in?" " Yeah." "Carl, wake up." "There's a light on in the garage." "Carl." "Carl, did you hear that?" "It sounds like they're finally at it." "Wow, she can't get enough!" "She can't get enough!" "Come on, Dennis." "One more time." "Go, Dennis." "I'll be back!" "But that's Anton." "What'll it be?" "Anton!" "What the hell?" "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe" "Catch a tiger by the toe" "Come on, Iron Hans." "It's dinnertime." "Dinnertime for Iron Hans." "Erwin!" "What are you doing here?" "What the hell are you doing here?" " No, Erwin, don't worry about it." " But, it wasn't..." "It was okay for me to stand on the balcony  in my underwear, in the freezing cold." " Do you think she'll leave with him?" " You never know, Dennis." "Because you're gorgeous, you just do what you want." "You're pretty stupid too." "And you were spoiled by your snob of a mom." ""She was so pretty when she was young." She was never young." " Rita, I won't do it again." "Ever." " You're pathetic and a wimp." "And you've got bad taste, really bad taste." "But you can pick the curtains." "I'll let you." "No, I'm not coming home this time, Erwin." "I'm tired of psychos." "You're fun at first, but then you get irritating." "Bye." "Rita." "Rita!" "That's how Rita became mine." "Erwin disappeared as quickly as he came." "Never to be seen again." " They cut him up, fed him to Iron..." " That wasn't nice." "Nasty people." "Then they threw me in the water, so the old pike would eat me, too." "Anton was committed." "For the rest of his life probably." "What happened between Anton and the pike, will remain a mystery." "Everything happened just like Carl said it would." "He moved in with Elly." "Dennis, the steaks are ready." "Rita stayed with me." "And the baby arrived." "We might call him Finn." "Hi." "It's lovely here." "Really nice." "Where have you hidden Finn?" "Exactly who are you?" "How embarrassing." "Didn't he tell you?" "I'm his twin brother." "My name is Leif." "Finn doesn't live here anymore." "Oh, he gave me the wrong address." "That dipshit." "Well, I'm off." "Bye." "Eventually, we became normal." "What more could you want?" "No, Carl!"