"# Somebody smarter than me once said luck was invented # # bya guy in the ?" "ea market selling rabbit paws. # # 0kay, maybe you stand in the wrong line for two hours, # # dive head-first into the kiddie pool # # or say another girl's name while boning your girlfriend #" "# and fine, call it bad luck. #" "# But if you crash a stolen car loaded with cash # # you're delivering to the biggest bad ass of all time, #" "# call it bad luck if you want, but the truth is, you fucked up. #" "# You fucked up big-time. #" "STRAIGHT FACE" "# But every story has a beginning, and Rai's began when he slipped. #" "Hey, Dani." "Why don't we take this one?" "It made the cover of "Luxury Cars" two months ago." "This one made this month's." "Say it in Italian and I'll speak you know what." "You picked this one because you know I'm the father of your children, right?" "I'm glad you feel that way." "I'm late." "How lame?" "Three weeks, four on Tuesday" "Don't worry; we still have 8 months to get the money for the restaurant." "We'll take turns watching the kid." "You get lunch, I get dinner and on weekends..." "I'm pulling your leg, moron." "You're a bad girl, Daniels." "# I'm very bad. #" " You have a plan, right?" " Be quiet." "Stay put until I say, okay!" "Now!" " You're a genius!" " Wait..." " Take the car." " What are you doing?" " You wanna adopt?" " You'll get caught." " Go now or we both will." " Wait." "It will bring you luck." "See you later." "Ma'am, that's too big for you." "I'll trade you for Pavarotti." " Put it down." " Okay, okay." " Put it down." "Now!" " I'm putting it down." "I'll blow your goddamn head off!" "Either she takes it or you can catch it on the second bounce." "Ma'am.." "Can I put my shoe on, please?" "# Rai was charged with theft and attempted kidnapping. #" "# Not squealing on Daniels didn't help his cause. #" "# Even still, he wouldn't have gone in jail # # if the nice lady whose car he stole hadn't been a City Councilwoman. #" "# It was even on TV. #" "Ball!" "You adopted the councilwoman's kid, right?" "Did you get a guided tour?" "We're not big fans around here of individual sports." "You have to join a team or somebody will play checkers with you." " Your ladies are waiting, Sanchez." " Take it easy, Manrique." "He looked like NBA material." " Him?" "More like a curling champ." " A what?" "Where they slide rocks across the ice with a brush." "Beat it." "It's cool." "What's your problem?" "You wanna retire in D block?" "Put that letter away." "It's like writing "fresh meat" on your forehead." "My mother taught me not to accept gifts from strangers." "Right." "Stealing cars, who taught you that?" "Your dad?" "Hey, Obi Wan." "I'll take that smoke." "I still haven't found the machine." "Between the jacuzzi and the mini-golf." "Give me alight and tell me your sob story." "The usual, right?" "Judicial error and bad luck." "There's no such thing as luck." "For example, naming your accomplice and returning the car spares you the "bad luck" of going to jail." "How do you know that?" "Nobody goes to jail for stealing a car." "But if you get caught holding a baby and refuse to cooperate you're screwed." "I had my reasons." " Was she hot?" " Very, thanks for asking." "But you haven't told me what you're in for." "You night be in for killing curling champs" " I was at a party and the cops came." " Bad luck." "No, it comes down to the odds." "If you play poker, you have to be ready to lose a few hands." " Is that what happened to you?" " No." "I don't know how to play poker." "Manrique." "Rai." "# it's anybody's guess why, but Manrique liked Rai. #" "TWO YEARS LATER # 0thenlvise Rai might be named Sarah or Mary Gay by now. #" "When do I get to meet that girl Nora who comes to see you?" "When that comet that never comes gets here." "Don't worry;" "I won't steal your girl." "I already have one." "Yeah, but I don't trust guys taller than me." "Nothing for me this week?" "Unsigned, as usual." "Congratulations, Man." "Looks like no more poker lessons, Rai." "You bastard!" "Getting out before me!" "Congratulations." "Don't throw away the two months I spent teaching you, okay?" "Still setting up the garage?" "You're not going to rehab?" "Do I look sick to you?" "The garage is my retirement plan." "There's room for a partner, if you're interested." "I already have one." "We'll give you a retiree discount when you come and try our #fettuccini alla Daniels. #" "Okay, but if the restaurant doesn't work out, you can always come work for me." "It has to work out." "Dani's an amazing cook." "Forget it." " He won't listen." "Still here, Santa Claus?" "Shouldn't you be somewhere making children happy!" "Just so you know, no matter what happens the garage is open for you 24 hours." "No matter what happens, you're going straight to your friend Nora's." "Right, old timer?" "TWO MONTHS LATER" "Hey!" "Bad luck." "I'll buy you Japanese food." "# Manrique's business was simple. #" "# He gave Rai the make and model of the car they wanted, #" "# Rai went in Germany normally in a piece of junk, # # and looked for the order. #" "11-When he found it, # # he'd extract it and call Manrique's contact, # # who happened to be the guy who reports stolen cars to Europol. #" "# He waited a couple days before reporting them, #" "# Which gave Rai time to take the car to the garage, # # where Manrique got it ready for sale after transforming it. #" "# Rai started making cash." "He was doing okay." "During the day. #" "# He spent nights looking for Daniels at the bottom of a whisky glass. #" "The next in last drink, please." "One more." "I'm closing in ten minutes." "The next in last drink, please." "We're closed." "I already told you that." " Come on." "While you clean up." " Closed." "Do I have in join or what?" "They come to play after closing." "Go on, scram" "Don't make me lose my cool." "You can serve me while you play and charge me double." "I have cash." "Can you play poker?" "Champ of my neighborhood." "I'll raise you five." "I'm in." "I'm out." "Shitty cards." "Let's see if this guy has any balls." "Your turn, Blondie" "I'll bet it all." "You either have an awesome hand or you're drunk off your ass." "Too rich for me." "I'm out." "It's not the booze or his hand." "He's bluffing." "I'll see you." "I wouldn't do that if I were you." "Any more advice?" "Yeah." "Don't nix carbs and proteins." "And stay away from Italian girls" "Holy shit." " I can't believe it." " What did I say!" "I don't buy it." "He switched the cards." "I didn't see anything." "He sat there all night drinking and looking bitter." "Is that a coincidence?" "The fucker came hereto hustle me." "I didn't see anything either." "He seems okay to me." "Fuck!" "You thought he was a bum and you wanted in clean him out." "I thought the same thing!" "But it just so happens the guy plays like a god." "So now what?" "It was a pleasure." " It was a pleasure." " Take care." "I'm going to Germany" " I need in take a leak." " Bye, rookies." "I don't know how you did it, but I want my money back." "Get out of the car." "Hey!" "Sorry, I didn't know it was your car." "There's no damage, I swear." "I've never fucking seen anyone break into a car that fast." "I'm good at that." "Hot wiring it is harder." "What did you say to him in make him leave so fast?" "That this was the company car." "I know a place that closes late." "I accept that drink you were about to buy me." "# I needed someone ##good at picking locks for the job I was preparing. #" "# Destiny not only brought him to me, it put him in my car. #" "Here's another one" "A doctor says to a patient, "I have bad news and good news." "The bad news is you have two weeks to live."" ""And the good news?"" ""I'm gonna fuck that nurse after you leave"" "I owe you one, Tena." "I'll buy you dinner when I get back." " Or you could do a job for my boss." " Anything." "Can I ask a favor of you?" "What are friends for?" "Take my blood." "My toenails." "Bang my mother." "No, she's dead." "But you can bang her if you want." "Can I use your phone to make a call?" "Just that." "What a letdown." "Make it snappy To call the Italian girl?" "Yeah, she won't pick up if it's my number." "Maybe she's shy." " #Hello?" "1!" "Dani, it's Rai." "Don't hang up." "# Rai, stop calling me already Can't you take a hint?" "#" "# I'm not answering your calls. #" "Why not?" "What's wrong?" "# Look, Rai." "Things have changed." "I can't steal hubcaps forever. #" " #Goodbye." "1!" "Wait, don't hang up." "Things have changed?" "What about all the letters you wrote me?" "# Rai, I'm with somebody #" "# Somebody important, so stop calling or you'll get hurt." "Goodbye. #" "What about the restaurant?" "# Find yourself another cook." "Or grow up, that's what I did. #" "What?" "A grow" "P Cook')" "# Life isn't like "Pretty Woman." Face it. #" "# We'll both sleep better. #" "What do you mean, a grown up cook?" "I don't understand." "# 1 wish you luck, Rai." "But please stop calling me. #" " Wait." " #Stop calling!" "#" "There's no such thing as luck." "Thanks." " Any luck?" " There's no such thing, dawn it!" "Okay, So"Y" "Let me know if you hear about another game." "You're late." " Traffic." " Drug traffic, probably" "You haven't slept." "Did you wait up for me, Mommy!" "Maybe you should find something else." " I'm on it." "Here, I wanna leave." " Seriously, Rai." "I'd better not hear you were partying all night." "You have to cross half of Europe in two days." "Don't worry." "You won't hear." "I have the names of all the bank employees." "They're gonna shit." "Have we picked a day!" "Yeah, Thursday" "Hows it coming?" "I've got the closed-circuit covered." "How about you?" "You get the minivan?" " Just about" " Good." " What do eggs talk about?" " I don't know." "Getting laid, just like me." " #Mus." "#" "Any card beats the dealer." "Evening, gentlemen." "Rai, you're looking as classy as ever." "Excuse me for not getting up." "I have something to show you." "Wait for me outside, I'll be right out." "Okay, have a nice game." "Because we're just about done here," " aren't we, Jandro?" " Yeah." "No." "I don't know." "Maybe." "Here, beautiful." "Go before I do something I'll regret." "I didn't see her playing." "Were you hiding her?" "She was tying Jandro's shoelaces." "He still doesn't know how." "I'll explain some other time." "I'll explain some other time." " Was it hard to come by!" " No." "Kids nowadays are overweight They need" " the exercise." " Nice." "Why does your boss need a minivan?" "He has a large family" " I won't ask." " Good." "Let me know if there's a game." "I'd have told you about this one, but it filled up a while ago." "Hold on." "Look, there's a spot free on Thursday" "I'm away on Thursday Anything sooner?" "I'm feeling lucky." "Tomorrow, button fancy My boss is playing." "High stakes, really good players." "Not what you're looking for." "No, that's exactly what I'm looking for." "If I can win big money fast, I'm in." "Yeah, or you can lose your shirt" "And you can't pay it back later." "I have cash and I'm on a streak." "I want in." "Please, Tena." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "Okay suit yourself." "You're in." "Awesome." "I dreamed the whole thing the other day." "It was like a revelation." "I've been wrong all along." "I'm a card player." "It never mattered much to me, but I have talent." "Three or four games, I'll open the restaurant and quit" "While I'm ahead, before I can lose It's my destiny" "# Cool, huh?" "The typical speech made by a sucker # # right before he loses everything and owes the bad guy a fortune. #" "# And in only 25 seconds. #" "# All you need is a cute girl, # # a jackass who lets people see his cards, # # and a waitress willing to signal a likable older gentleman # # working for Mikima, the Prince of Darkness himself, #" "# always happy to stick his trident up your bunghole. #" "# Miguel Angel Silva Pestano Junior, alias Mikima. #" "# His businesses include armed robbery, narcotics, # # debt recovery, witness removal... # # and rug cleaning. #" "# The doctors say Mikima suffers from Von Hippel-Lindau Disease, # # a rare condition which makes you produce enough adrenaline # fie invade Poland with a toothpick. #" "# This would explain his tantrums # # or why he always insists on putting himself in danger. #" "# But I prefer the other version. #" "# Legend has it, Mikima inherited the throne the day his father died. #" "What kind of tattoo would you like?" ""I love Mom?"" "Okay." "But there's a design I really like." "Not Miguel..." "Not Miguel..." "Not Miguel..." "Miguel!" "Miguel!" "Daddy?" "What happened?" "Where was the car?" "It's okay." "Leave me with my son." "Daddy, what's wrong?" "Everything's fine, don't worry." "It'll be okay." "Daddy, I'm scared." "Don't be scared." "The car was there." "He came out the wrong door." "Thanks." " You got the money!" " Yeah." "Right here." "It's short, but in a couple weeks..." "This is like the dentist." "Shut your mouth until I say." "Or it'll be like the proctologist." "Got it?" " Yeah." " Tena." "On your next trip to Germany you'll carry some candy for us, stop in France and exchange it for some baseball cards." "Run this errand for us and Mikima will give you another week" " in pay him back." " Okay..." "Shut up." "If you talk I can't hear what you're thinking." "You're thinking about keeping the money." "Not all of it, just pan of it." "Probably because you're unaware of the fact that if you're short," "I'll use your nuts to relieve stress like Ben Wa balls!" "He won't be short, will you, Rai?" "Go outside, we'll get your package ready" "Tell the kid outside to come in" "No need to say goodbye, I heard you think it." "Mikima, I'm not sure about France." "I think it's dangerous." "It night be too soon to gamble." "He's a good addition." "If he makes it back, I'll have another slave." "If not, it'll confirm my suspicion that he's a twerp." "Yeah, but..." "Okay." " Hi, Aaron." " Hi, Uncle." "This is Tena." " Hello, Tena, sir." " Hello." "Tena will show you the business." "He'll never leave your side." "You'll learn a ton" "He'll treat you right and watch your back." "This is really bad timing." "I have a lot going right now..." "My nephew needs to see how things work around here." "You'll get along great." "He's a math whiz, like you." "Right, Aaron?" "Really, Mikima." "I don't think it's a good time." "Yes, you do." "Kid." "How many!" "You're not pretending, are you?" "You're... like that, right?" "What?" "Never mind." "Go on, pick them up" "You're on time, even took a shower." "Remind me to get you a thermos." "Can we have a drink before I leave?" "I can't, I have plans." "There's something I want to tell you." "Wearing woman's lingerie is pretty common, Rai." "What's the hurry!" "I'm getting my social life back." "See you." "Be careful." "Viagra can be dangerous at your age." "Don't worry, this is all I need." "BYE, Man." " Good morning." " Good morning." "Can I help you?" "I heard this pharmacy was for sale." "I'm sorry but it's not." " Sure it is." " No..." "You're just misinformed, kid." "The duck is in the nest." "CLOSED FOR REMODELING" "Can you see the match?" "Perfectly." "SOUTH OF FRANCE" "Good evening." "Good evening." "Thank you." "Can I please see the merchandise?" "Show me the money first." "Oh!" "I see." "All right." "Luc, show him." "I like you." "I've always liked Spaniards." "Although, you're tall for a Spaniard, aren't you?" "It's this thing we have in Spain." ""Colacao."" "Breakfast and snacks?" "Ideal." "Colacao?" "Colacao." "Correct." "Perfect." "It's a pleasure doing business with you." "There's only one problem." "Luc, kill him" "Okay, showtime." " Okay, champ." "Get me some coffee." " Okay." " With a splash of something merry." " Merry, right." "Run, Forrest, run!" " Manrique?" "What's up?" " #Are you there yet?" "#" "Yeah, well, I'm still on the road, about 400 kilometers away." " #Then I won't see you." " #Taking along weekend?" "# Even better." "I'm retiring. #" "# I checked my numbers and I have enough to tour Asia. #" "Just like that?" "What do I do with the car?" "Shoo!" "# Don't worry, Casper is taking over the garage on Monday. # # 1 talked to him, he'll pay you the usual for the car. #" "Damn, I wasn't expecting this." "Just like that?" "No goodbye drinks, no party, no karaoke?" "# Sorry, kid. #" "# My ?" "ight leaves in a couple hours. #" "# Don't worry I got you a goodbye present #" "# Stop in at Bootie's and ask for Nora. #" " The Nora who visited you in jail?" "1!" "Yeah." "She's a good friend. #" "# She'll pay your severance with a little bonus for efficiency. #" "Hey, that's really unnecessary" "Be careful, I hear Asian girls can be dangerous at your age." " They play ping pong with..." " #Goodbye, Rai. #" "# Stay out of trouble. #" "Don't worry." "I was in bad shape but my luck has changed." "# T here's no such..." "Take care, kid. #" "Have a good trip." "# 1f Mikima hires you for a job, # # never show up late and hungover. #" "# And if you lose the money you owe him, well, buddy... # # you can bet your ass you'll be up to your ears in shit. #" "RESTRICTED ACCESS" "Look sharp." "# You're on TV. #" "Stork, get in position." "Here's your coffee, sir." "I couldn't find anything merry." "A caesarian birth, is that it?" "You're not very sharp..." "What?" "Anything with alcohol, damn it!" "Here comes the dough, gentlemen." "# Stork, here." "I'm in position. #" "Let's go." "Can you spare a euro for a parrot?" "No clowning around here." " This is a great spot." " Go join the circus." "Not even a peep!" "Where are you going?" "Everybody against the wall." "Move it!" "Hands behind your back." "Everybody" "What are you looking at?" "Where's the manager, Sara?" "He knows her name." "Shut the fuck up, Alfonso." "Where's the fucking manager?" "Goddamn it, where is he?" "Okay." "By the way, I took some aspirin for my grandmother." "You know how old ladies are." "It's your fault for selling aspirin like crazy." "It's reckless." "Without a prescription." "Old ladies and up getting hooked." "Anyway..." "At least I can see you're a good listener." "Duck, here." "# The nest is ready. #" "Everybody inside." "Hurry up!" "We're not taking a stroll." "Now!" " Get down there." " This is it." "What the fuck?" "The door should still be open." "The alarm..." "There's nothing we can do." "It's automatic." " Get in there!" " Here?" "Do it, damn it!" "I don't fit!" "Get in there, you retard!" "That's all of it." "Come out." "Shit!" "Come on, damn it!" "My foot is stuck" "Stork, what are you doing?" "# Atraffic cop said we can't park there. #" "# We'll drive around the block and come back. #" "Careful, the cops are there." "Move your ass!" "Go take a shit!" "Okay, I want everyone in sing "Fum, fum, fum" for me." "Stan singing." " The one with the drum?" " That's "Rom, pun, pun."" " No." " Wait, "Chikirikitin."" ""Fum, fum, fum!"" "You!" "# December 25th, # # fum, fum, fum #" "What crap is that?" "Louder!" "# December 25th, fum, fum, fum. #" "# December 25th, fum, fum, fum. #" "# December 25th, fum, fum, fum. #" "# Louder!" "I can't hear you!" "Louder!" "#" "# December 25th, fum, fum, fum. #" "There." "What the fuck did you put in this?" "Beer." "Nothing else had alcohol." "Well, there was rubbing alcohol, but that's unhealthy" "Unhealthy is me kicking your ass if you're still herein 3 seconds!" " One," " Three!" "Stay put!" "Okay, clear skies." "Mikima, we can go now." "Fucking bigmouth!" "Come on, damn it!" "Drive around the block already!" "# Where's the fucking van?" "#" "It should be there right." "# now. #" "What the fuck?" "# -'Stork here, we're almost there. #" "Almost?" "Son of a bitch!" "# There are two vans!" "#" "Two fucking vans!" "What's he doing?" "Birds!" "You're going extinct!" "# Get the fuck out of there. #" "Son of a bitch!" "I looked for you everywhere." "All you had to do is whistle." "# Like Einstein said, # #everylhing is relative. #" "# Rai thought he'd set a world record for bad luck, # # however, # # that bull crashing the bird party won first prize in Mikima's heart # # so Rai was actually getting lucky by the shitload. #" "# This is Man's Garage." "Leave a message after the beep. #" "Hi, Manrique." "Goddamn it." "You might be in Japan by now, but if you hear this, I need help." "I'm in trouble and I owe a ton a cash." "And I just totaled the car" "I'm sorry." "I'm really sorry." "I know it was fucking stupid of me but nobody else can help me now." "I'll go see your friend Nora about my severance." "Though I don't think it'll cover it." "Call me if you can." "I don't understand." "How many horns did you see?" "How many!" "One, two." "What about beaks?" "Zero." "Since when do fucking birds have horns?" "Answer me!" "Answer me!" "Shut up, I can hear what you're thinking." "Go on, be a fucking comedian!" "You're fucking hilarious!" "Fucking hilarious!" "You homo!" "What's up, Rai?" " Hey, Tena." "How's it going?" " Great, having fun." "What happened?" " Why should something happen?" " Rai..." "Okay, tell Mikima to give you a raise." "Yeah, I'll tell him, he's knitting." "Tell me what happened." "The car broke down halfway there and I think I have to spend the night." "Tell Mikima not to worry, I won't charge him for meals." "Go ahead and tell him yourself." "He's already blown a gasket..." "There!" ".Twice today" "Rai, Rai..." "Call me if you get back early, there's an open spot tonight." "Tena, the last open spot is what got me where I am now." "Fine." "It's gonna be awesome though But if your mommy won't let you..." "You know I quit." "It's Straight Face." "You can't retire without playing Straight Face." " Tena?" "Tena?" " Rai?" "I've... gotta... go..." "The signal... fad... ing." "Jerk." "If the guy you shot went in the hospital, there's a police report." "Dimas might know something." "Here." "Find out what Dimas knows." "But watch what you say." " A corrupt cop is still a cop." " I'll call you after." "I'll keep squeezing the others One of these jerks blabbed." "Having a bad day!" "Yeah, I fought with my girlfriend." "She left me and drove off with my car and this month's paycheck" "I like feisty women mo." "Come on, get in." "You won't get far in those water shoes." "I like feisty dogs too." "Do you like dogs?" "I guess." "We're gonna run an errand." "Wait in the car." "Got it?" "No matter how long." "What are you doing?" " Where did you get that?" " From the cleaners." " Is it loaded?" " With four 45 caliber bullets." "Give me that!" "Right now, dawn it!" "Nobody should play with guns" "Especially a retard like you." "I can't believe I'm stuck with such a fucking bonehead." "Come on, take it easy." "I'm gonna tell my uncle" "Your uncle could careless." "Trust me, your uncle..." "Look, Aaron." "We insult each other in this line of work." "What's up, homo?" "Nothing, asshole." "Go fuck yourself." "Stuff like that." "Do you understand?" "Insult me." "Go on, insult me." "Try it." "Do it." "Come on." "Schmucko!" "You see?" "You're getting the hang of it." "Very good." "Right off the bat." "What a guy!" "Okay, any idiot can do your pan of the job." "I mean, it's simple." "But it's very, very important, so listen closely" "You have to do three things." "One:" "Stay sharp." "Two:" "Don't attract attention." "And three:" "Stay in the car and keep watch." "I got it, sir." "Okay, move over." "Your breath stinks like an old person." "I wouldn't recommend a bulldog." "Bulldogs have a lot of adrenaline." "They pull and pull and pull." "Too much adrenaline." "Then they drool on you." "And they drool on the sofa." "And they snore." "You can't keep them anywhere." " Know any bulldogs?" " I've seen a few." "If you want a good dog, small and funny, a Yorkshire." "But a female Yorkshire, because the males are incomprehensible" "They're good dogs." "Playful, follow you everywhere." "But they walk ahead of you and you have to chase after them" ""Sparky, Sparky!" And Sparky doesn't come." "Next thing you know, he's right behind you." "Because he's hungry." "When it suits him." "Exactly." "But they're good dogs" "A friend for life." "They're good, committed, faithful..." "The best companions, Saint Bernards." "Now that's a friend for life" "They hang those little barrels on them and they're always saving people They're good dogs." "Hi." "I see you got 3 for!" "at the thug store." "Listen to this." ""We have a choice." "We think we are controlled by destiny" "This is false." "We have a choice." "We can choose to quit smoking." "All we need is in believe" " in ourselves."" " Lovely." "But this is the only thing I believe in." "Dimas," "I have a question." "Have you heard of any bullet wounds lately" " at any hospitals?" " No idea." "Oh, well." "I guess it's true the cops are never around when you need them." "Wait, Tena." "Some cops are around when you need them." "This might interest you." "I'll come back tomorrow with a canon of cigarettes." "A late sleeper who doesn't work for Mikima was strolling by a bank this morning..." " What do you know?" "!" " That stealing is a sin." "Console me, Father." "I'm sorry, my son." "But prices have gone up." "Nicotine patches" " aren't fucking cheap." " You could buy chewing gum" "It's cheaper." "The guy I mentioned is a creep, a nobody" "# He used to rob Swedish girls who came to Spain in the 70's. #" "# He'd take them dancing at the hotel disco, # # steal their room keys # # and take all he could carry. #" "But he's gotten old and he's lost a step." "Now he gives dancing lessons to retirees in a motel." "The dancer doesn't have the brains for something like this." "Screwing Mikima is either gutsy or stupid." "He could be our man." "Write it down." "Grand Central Hotel, 52 Fleming Street." "Tena, sir." "You're going to get a ticket." "Tena!" "Do you get a subsidy for hiring the disabled?" "He looks lame but he's dangerous." "Come on." "Interested in a game tonight?" "Make no mistake, Tena." "To me, you're like cigarettes." "Every one I meet, I swear it's the last." "If you feel guilty, keep your hands off." "Fuck you." "The money, I mean." "Come on." "What did I say, kid?" "Wait... in... the car." "Which of those three fucking words did you not understand, you dweeb?" " Schmucko!" " Schmucko my ass!" "Why did you go inside?" "You were about to get a ticket." "It was my duty as lookout." " You could have moved the car." " I don't have a license." "That's a surprise." "Did you fail your driving test?" "I've never failed any test." "I don't want one." "It's much cheaper in take a taxi." "That's a pile of ?" "aming bullshit." "What nonsense." "There's no way." "If someone takes 4 taxis a day;" "at 7 euros a taxi..." " 28." " Six days a week..." " 168." " 52 weeks..." " 8,736." " ...a year." "Okay, that's less than a good car, but a car lasts longer." "Plus registration, plus insurance, plus a garage, plus an oil change every 20,000 km, plus a blue area or parking lot, depending, plus vehicle licensing, plus gasoline." "It's 15% cheaper to take a taxi than use a car," "Tena, sir." "You know what?" "A collie." "There's a playful dog." "Not too big, with the ears..." "Funny, playful." "They play as much as you want, but they sometimes freak out and bite your hand." " I'll be fightback." " Go on, pee." "Mark your territory." "Fuck!" "Manrique!" "Thank God you called." " #Rai, I heard your message." "1!" "What?" "What?" "What?" "I don't understand." "I'll try and get a better signal." "Say that again." "Take a car to Nora?" "Where?" "Where?" "I can't hear you." "Say that again." "# The address is on the board. #" "No!" "Fucking battery!" "I can't believe it!" "Goddamn it!" "Fucking battery!" "So my friend's daughter needs insulin." "I hope her school's address is on the board." " She could die." " Holy shit!" "This area has coverage You can call your friend." " My battery is dead." " Use my cell." "The number's in my address book." " Put your card in my phone." " Good idea." "The other day there was this blind poodle on" "Different companies." "It's no use." "Oh, well." "Dogs." "Dogs are my passion." "They shed a lot." "Some have long hair, short hair, curly hair... lmitation leather repels hair." "Just wipe it off with a rag." " Hows your memory!" " Fine." "What did..." "Stop that!" "What did your uncle say when we met?" "Hi, Aaron." "This is Tena." "Tena will show you the business..." "What about the address Dimas said?" "Grand Central Hotel, 52 Fleming Street." "The bones of the body." "Tarsus, phalanges, metatarsus, femur, patella, tibia, fibula, coccyx, pelvis, sternum..." "June, 1972?" "Charlie Balls, made the cover again in '77 but showing pubic hair." "Sir, can I go in with you this time to see you work?" "My uncle said to learn and I'm not learning anything." "Okay, but keep your mouth shut and go in the back door." "And look scary." "Go on, try it." "Great." "And one, two..." "And one, two, three." "Good." "Again." "And one, two..." "And one, two, three." " What's wrong?" " Where's he going?" "I didn't know Mikima was the target" "I dressed up as a traffic cop and redirected a van, that's all." " Whose plan was it?" "Who hired you?" " I don't know." "It was all over the phone." "Some guy called me and paid me half up front at a hotel." "The pay was shitty." "You can have it back if you want." "But please don't kill me, I'm in my prime." " What about the other half?" " I already got it." " You can have it back." " You already said that" "Something must have gone wrong." "The plan was to pick up the money at the hotel in a couple days." "But this morning a guy with a bloody arm paid me." "Okay, okay, okay." "Now you're going to explain where you picked up the rest of the money." "But not to me." "You'll explain it directly to Mikima." "Who are you?" "Address." "Address." "Put Tena on." "Good job" "Pansies." "Okay, Rage." "Thanks for everything." "If everything works out, I'll get you a mastiff." "No, I can't have a dog." "My wife won't let me." "She has a cat." "Good luck." "Okay, I still need to arrange tonight's game." "Your uncle left me one player shun." "Hey, you don't play...?" "Never mind." " What's up?" " #Where the fuck are you?" "#" "I was about to take Aaron home" "# Change your route." "Meet me at Bootie's in 15 minumes. #" "All right, okay." "Let's hear the pans of the female sex organ." " Ovary, fallopian tubes..." " Wrong!" "From fin, back fin, tailpipe and wipe your chin." "That's theory." "Now you get to practice because we're meeting your uncle at Bootie's strip club." "Are you up for it?" "If it's pan of my training." "The most important pan, so apply yourself." "Bootie, of course!" "He can solve my problem with tonight's game." " Right, Bootie." " Yeah." "Who's Bootie?" "Some chump trying to get your uncle to invest in his business." "I cut him some slack and he sends me girls for my special games." "Here, use this" "# The mechanical doll is here tonight, # # ready to lubricate and get your engine humming. #" "# You don't want in miss her washing her whole body # # afler a long day of spark plugs and carburetors. # # or maybe you're afraid her fingers are too slippery for you. #" "# Then try Angela, our police officer. # # 0uch!" "# # 1 wouldn't like in be in your skin. #" "Well, a little." "I'm freaky like that" "Hi." "I'm looking for Nora, "the nanny of my dreams."" "Nora's on a house call." "Whip the masked man into submission..." "Do you know where l can find her?" "It's important" "How should I know?" "!" "I'm not her fucking manager." "Then he'll lick his wounds." " Yummy." " Do any of the girls know?" "!" "Stay away from my pussy, kid." "And no sandals allowed." "Scram." "In cabin 4 we have Angela, the police officer, # looking for a partner to patrol the city. #" "Water with ice and a lemon wedge." "I need to talk to Bootie." "Find him." " Tena..." " Bootie, what's up?" " How's business?" " Fine, fine." "But it could be better." "If Mikima invests in my proposal for expansion." "Hold on, this is Aaron." "Mikima's nephew." "I brought him to show him around" "A full tour." "If he's happy Mikima's happy." "Don't worry, I'll handle it personally" "If Mikima invests, I'll give you free pussy for Straight Face for three years" "Join tonight's game and we'll go over the details." " It's at midnight." " At Murphys." "I know where my pussy works" "Come on, kid." "Let's go meet a goddess." "Be a good boy!" "Hey, watch out, you knucklehead!" "What are you doing?" "You're off cue." " Rai?" " Dani!" "What's up, Mikima?" "Are you gonna buy in?" "Bootie said you're meeting him." "I told you he was a schmuck, but go right ahead." "Where's Bootie?" "Giving your nephew a guided tour." " Give me your gun." " Here." "Where's yours?" "Stolen." "What do you mean, stolen?" "Somebody stole my father's gun!" "Keep dancing." "What are you doing here?" "I'm asking the questions." "What are you doing here?" "I'm with Bootie now." "That sleazebag with the microphone?" "He's important?" "He's the owner." "What about the letters?" "It was Bootie's idea." "In case you felt betrayed and told the cops about me." "You know I would never do that." "If the letters were his idea..." "How long have you been with him?" "Two years?" "Two years of lies for a guy who emcees at a strip club?" "Tell me one thing, Dani." "If he's so important, why has he got you out here dancing for guys jerking off?" "It's temporary." "Your friend is no better than me." "He just lies better." "Mikima, please, take it easy" "One thing at a time." " Why are you here?" " The bull called somebody here." "Bootie's gonna explain." "Everything." "# T hat book had accounting records for the cleaners, # # details of his operations over the last 5 years, # # a list of politicians on the payroll... #" "# Losing that book was like shitting on Mikima's father's grave. #" "Get Bootie over here, now!" "I need to take a dump, Mikima." "I'm crapping myself." "Must have been the coffee and cheer." "I'll be right back." "I work with Mikima now." "Mikima?" "Jesus!" "Shouldn't you be in there humping a goddess?" "She didn't really love me, sir." "She was doing it because Bootie said to." "You can't fake that stuff." "Isn't that right, Tena, sir?" "Put on your seat belt." "Come here, stud!" "Get in there, damn it." "I'm busy, kid." "If you want you can grab a broom until I come back." "Or stick one up your ass, whatever turns you on." "Get Bootie over here or I'll rip your eyes out." "Wait, I need to talk to you." "It's important" "Not now, pussy." "He'll ransack the place." "If you don't want him to, come with me." "Move it!" "My apologies." "It was a misunderstanding." "If I'd known that you..." "sir... were Mikima's partner, I swear, none of this would have happened." "Wait" "This is where Nora will be at midnight." " How do you know...?" " The whole place heard you, genius." "I have to dance in two minutes." "But we can meet for coffee later if you want." "Not tonight." "I'm busy." "I'll call you sometime." "Hold him!" "Damn it!" "Tena, sir, I need to go pee." "Go poo for all I care!" "You're staying put this time until I get back." "Got it?" "Hi." "Do you believe in destiny, Tena?" "I think destiny is written." "Just that some people have an eraser." "I control my own destiny now." "And I choose not to smoke." "And I choose not to deal with scumbags." "And I choose to make police chief by turning in Mikima." "Dimas, you should think it over." "Re?" "ect on it" "I think we could reach an agreement favorable in both parties." "What really matters is health." "I can't have Mikima telling people I smoked his cigars for 15 years." "I'll have to kill him first and arrest him after." "It's too bad." "Because I can't let you leave here alive either." "You'll go and tell Mikima." "One detail." "I want the whole story before I go to the publisher." "Who fucked you at the bank?" "Damn, what a shame." "I wrote it in my other notebook." "I left it in your mom's pussy last night." "Who taught you how to do that?" "My uncle." "How did you know I was in trouble?" "I couldn't hold it." "There were 5 targets and I only had 4 bullets so I had to use one bullet on two men." "It's possible if you hit one's aorta and the other's spinal chord." "Don't tell anyone what happened" "Especially your uncle, got it?" "I'll come up with a story tomorrow." "Tonight it's better to steer clear." "Give me the gun." "Don't bother taking a taxi tomorrow." "I'll pick you up at seven." "I need your help with the books." "Thanks, partner." "Is Bootie there yet?" "He won't be long." "Stan dealing, I'll be there in half an hour." "Damn, Manrique's friend..." "Rai, you came after all." "Come in, come in." "You're just in time." "Bootie hasn't shown and they were getting nervous" "You didn't call me." "How did you know to come here?" "Right, you wrote it down." "Very clever." "I love your sandals." "Let's go over this." "One:" "We're playing #Mus# French-style That means without partners." "Ten thousand a head." "Whoever wins three games to 30 wins." " #Mus#!" " Correct." "Two:" "A hottie gets under the table and blows one of us." "At random." "Shut up and pay attention." "Three:" "If someone guesses who's getting blown, the game is over." "He takes all the money and we walk." "Got it?" "Nora?" "Nora's putting on her knee pads." "Give me your money." "Wait, I don't understand shit." "What money!" "Ten thousand a head." "I just told you." "So if I win I get...?" "Forty thousand euros." "If you win the game or spot the Straight Face." "Can I bet my car?" "# Mus. #Dealer cuts, gentlemen." "French." "No signals." " French?" " No signals and no partners." " But French." " Yeah." "Two high, two low and two pairs if you've got them." "Watch out for Rai, it's his lucky day." "You think?" "Mikima has been on a rampage all day and he forgot about you." "Ante up." "Raise you." "What's wrong?" "Did he go berserk or what?" "He had problems with a bull this morning." "But Mikima already cutoff its ears and tail." "Ole." "I'll raise you." "Well?" "Is it taken care of?" "No." "Somebody stole his car." " The Cadillac?" " No." "Mikima has a lot of cars." "But what really fucked him up wasn't the car." "I don't understand." "Me neither." "There's no #Mus #Five to start." "I'll see you." " Wanna hear about it or not?" " I don't care." "Well, I feel like talking about it." "Somebody screwed Mikima's heist." "And what did he do?" "He went straight to dust off his father's gun." "Raise you low." "The one hanging in his office?" "Raising low never works." "Yeah, that one" "The last time he took it down he killed three cops and a Belgian" "How many Belgians did he kill today!" "Belgians, zero." "Guys with a mustache, one." "Evan?" "Fifteen to play." "Some guy named Manrique." "Manrique the mechanic?" "Fifteen to play and you raise low?" "You've got the worst hand possible." "4, 5, 6, 7." "Let's see them." "Son of a bitch." "You know him?" "What?" "Do you know him?" "Who?" "Manrique." "He rings a bell." "I didn't hear it." "When he got to the garage," "Mikima found the poor bastard trying to run with all the dough." "# Though he wouldn't have gotten far." "He was bleeding. #" "# 50 Mikima put the money in the trunk of his car. #" "But the guy wouldn't die..." "Wait a second." "ls Mikima a boy or a girl's name?" "Sounds to me like vanilla with chocolate chips." "Yeah, a dick with cheese curds encrusted on it and balls hanging." "Mikima's a nickname they gave him at the reformatory." "Mikima, from Mickey Mouse Because of a tattoo he got." "# Mus. #" "Mickey#Mus. #" "Damn, Rai." "You're on a roll." " No complaining." " How does the story end?" "He's just about finished the job when some dude steals his car." "Where the fuck are you going?" "A dream car with 400 grand in the trunk." "I'm gonna fucking murder you!" "I don't want to even think about what Mikima will do to retard." "Anyway, the last call the bull made # was to Bootie's strip club. #" "# 50 Mikima went straight there. #" "After burning down the garage, of course." " Whose turn is it?" " Rai's." "Rai, it's your turn." "Rai." "Rai!" "Rai's the Straight Face!" "You fucking bigmouth!" "Tena, where are you?" "Don't hide." "Tena?" " Try these." " I thought I lost them." "I never lose stuff." "I can't believe it!" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "Already spent it all?" "To Manrique." "Are you gonna tell me your role in all this or do I have to wait until the second date?" "Did you know Manrique well?" "He was my friend." "My best..." "My only friend." "He never talked to you about me?" "Yeah, but very little." "You're all the same." "You only talk about bullshit." "You hide the important stuff like your dick would fall off if you shared it." "Manrique and my dad had a business." "Manrique tricked out cars and my dad drove them." "But they got nixed up in a heist" "Mikima's dad set up and it went down wrong." "I was six years old." "My dad died and Manrique ended up in jail." "I don't know how, but he got me a check sent every month." "I guess you can't blame a homicide on a 10-year-old." "But you can wait until he grows up to humiliate him and charge him for the damage done." "When Manrique got out of jail we planned every detail." "# lnformation is power. #" "# And being on your knees has its perks. #" "# If you pay attention you can find out all kinds of stuff. #" "# Tena rattled off every detail of the heist # # during his macho games. #" "# We only made one mistake. # 11-When Tena said bird, I heard bull. #" "# I guess the acoustics under the table # # aren't exactly the Paris Opera House. #" "How did you get Tena to include you in his games?" "Did you get a good look at me?" "The plan was for me to go back in my daily routine to avoid suspicion." "Manrique would take the money and meet me in Japan after." "But Mikima had to spoil everything." "# That bullet # made Manrique miss his plane." "For good." "Can I use your cell?" "Yeah." "Can I put my card in it?" "# Rai, I can't find you." "I don't know if you heard me right. #" "# I'll repeat what you need to do. #" "# I'll leave the keys in a black convertible to take in Nora. #" "# I'm injured and I can't do it. #" "# You'll find her in the peep show on the flyer on the board. #" "# She's nice, you'll see." "I care a lot about her. #" "# She'll give you your share. #" "# I'll call you sometime to come and play ping pong. # # 1 wish you lots of luck, kid." "Lots of luck #" "It's falling off." "Manrique called me at the club and said you were coming while he looked for a doctor who wouldn't ask questions." "You came through in the end, so you earned your share." "We'd better invest it all in getting away from Mikima." "He won't stop until he finds us." "Here, I'll help you." "You're not gonna answer it?" "It's not for me." "It has your card." "I'm gonna take a shower." "I knew you wouldn't forget me." "# After today I'll only forget you after I castrate you. #" "Dani says you got jealous when you saw her with Bootie" "# Unless you want the next pervert # undressing her to be a forensic, come to the cleaners in one hour." "1!" "And bring my money." "1!" "I can't get there in one hour." "You'll make it" "Hey, partner." "If you want the money let her go." "I make the rules." "Give me the money." "I'll give you Daniela's cut." "Nora has the rest and you'll never find her." "It looks like Rai isn't as in love with you as we thought." "This reduces your cut by half." "You sold me out, Dani?" "He killed Bootie!" "What was I supposed to do?" "Easy, Rai." " I won't pay." " Wait." "You smell that?" "I doused the bag in gasoline." "So either let her go or get an ashtray." "I see you used my money to buy a pair, Rai." "Okay, Rai." "You can go." "But first..." "Give me back my father's gun!" "What the hell?" "You're fucked now!" "This is my reward for ten years of unconditional loyalty!" "I'll put ten bullets in your head!" "Learn in keep your damn mouth shut!" "Hey, the Ghost of Christmas Past." "Did you all conspire to screw up my day?" "What did you think, Mikima?" "That I wouldn't mind you sending a hit man to kill me?" "Dims, let's take the bastard together." "I told you before, Tena." "Fuck you." "I'll kill all you motherfuckers!" "Tena, sir." "What's happening?" "Your uncle's trying to kill me." "Aaron!" "Come here!" "He's a traitor!" "We're gonna kill them all!" "Tena, sir, I like you and all, but I have to protect my uncle." "Cover me." "Guess what I'm thinking." "Why didn't you pick me up this morning, Tena, sir?" "Schmucko!" "Schmucko!" "I don't have the money." "But you know where it is, don't you?" "Nora fooled us all." "You took her for a brainless hooker," "I took her for a loving nurse." "I'll settle for still being alive." "Go on, I'll clean this up." "I'm the manager, right?" "Go wash your face." "I'll be waiting in the car." "# Sometimes life gives you what you want, # # but that doesn't mean it's what you need. #" "# Or seen differently, # # sometimes life gives you what you need, # # though it's probably not what you want. #" "# You can call it luck, destiny or whatever you want, # # but the truth is, # nobody has a fucking clue what will happen to them tomorrow." "Come on, Schmucko." "You're gonna make me cry." "Need a ride?" "What are you doing here?" "I came to rescue you." "Though I can see you did that all by yourself." "Where did you get this clunker?" "How's the shoulder?" "Fine." "I'm hungry." "Feel like Italian food?" "Make it Japanese." "STRAIGHT FACE"