"THE PACK" "I need a piss, love." "Will you hold it?" "I'm not allowed to lift heavy objects!" "Shit." "Your mates?" "Yeah, right." "Can I get in?" "I warn you... if you take out your dick I'll hammer you." "Don't worry, it's too cold." "Where are we going?" "You, I don't know." "I'm heading for the sun." "Straight on till my CDs run out." "I came from there... and I'm going there." "Is there a problem?" "Where do you come from?" "The 1980s?" "Tell me your troubles." "Listening to other people's problems gets me off." "Is that right?" "For me it's when a guy my age goes bald." "La Spack Open 10am to 1am" "Fuck me!" "Heard the one about a masochist, a zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necrophile and a pyromaniac?" "In a psychiatric asylum, a masochist, a zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necrophile and a pyromaniac are shitless." " What?" " Bored stiff." "The zoophile says, "What if we fucked the cat?"" "The sadist replies," ""Yeah!" "Let's fuck the cat, then torture it!"" "The murderer adds," ""Cool, we fuck the cat, torture it, then kill it."" "Then the necrophile says, "Yeah..." ""We fuck the cat, torture the cat, kill the cat," ""then fuck it again."" "So the pyromaniac says," ""Cool!" ""Let's fuck the cat, torture the cat," ""kill the cat, fuck it again," ""then set it on fire."" "Then there's silence." "Everyone turns to the masochist and asks," ""Nothing to say?"" "The masochist goes," ""Meow..."" "Not bad!" "It was a caribou when I heard it." "Trouble at six o'clock." "Don't take it badly, but my cock's got a date with that chick's ass." "I don't want to keep her waiting." "I'm Bazooka Joe." "This here's John Grizzly and Jordan Minnesota." "May we join you?" "Dance, darling?" "Your breath would curdle yoghurt..." "darling." "And I don't like the music." "Relax." "I'll just fondle your ass." "Clear off." " I'll fuck you rigid." " Try, dickhead!" "Let me go, you shit!" "Dickhead!" "Let me go!" "I think I prefer this one." "His ass is tighter." "Let's see about that." "I'll stick it in your ass, your mouth, and under your arms..." "A slam tilt!" "Go on!" "I'll have no trouble here." "Bugger off." "Or else?" "Or I'll repaint my lino with your ball juice." "You find that funny?" "Let's go, guys." "All right?" "I'm gonna bust your ass!" "Shit!" "Shit, I'm in my underpants." "Is he playing with himself?" "Damn it!" "Shit..." " Did you see a guy in the toilets?" " Sorry?" "You didn't see a scuzzy-looking guy with long hair in the toilets?" "No." "You didn't see him leave?" "I saw nothing!" "Have you fallen in?" "Are you there?" "Jean-Jean!" "The one time I find one who's not a jerk..." "Jean-Jean!" "I don't get it." "He can't just disappear." "You're not the first to be left on the roadside by a fella." "I saw your..." "very nice photo in the toilets." "There's a kind of door." "What is it?" "Been sealed off for years." " It won't open?" " There's no need." "Yes, but we're closed!" "Goddamn..." "Isn't Jean-Jean here?" "No, he isn't!" "I'm supposed to meet him at La Spack's." "It's here but she's closed." "La Spack has floors to clean!" "Come on..." "If you please!" "Gives you a reason to clean." "Oh, be my guest!" "Hi-ho, Silver." "Problems, miss?" "Can I help?" "Doesn't look like it." "You the sheriff?" "Yes." "Well, not really..." "I'm retired now." "But if you need a guide, then I'm your man." "Cool." "Call me Chinaski, everyone does." "So, what's up?" "I've lost a friend." "Well, not really lost, and he isn't really a friend..." "Just a guy who went into the toilets and disappeared." " Are you related to..." " No, he's some guy who was hitching." "It's not very wise to pick up hitchers nowadays." "People are liberated these days." "They fuck anything that moves." "Big, small, old, young, fish, fat..." " Fat?" " Yes." "Fat too." "They even fuck hanging from the ceiling." "The range of possibilities is vast, miss." "Yes, I know." "Is he...of age?" "Of course he is." "In that case, I can't help you." "You amaze me." "When an adult disappears, there's nothing we can do." "That is the law!" "Then the law is stupid." "What happens if he turns up in a canal?" "Don't get upset." "Just give me your name and phone number." " Charlotte Massot..." " Wait, wait, wait..." "M-A-S-S-O-T, Charlotte." "Like Queen Charlotte." "Telephone?" "06-14-81-1000." "1000..." "There we are!" "Goodbye, miss." "Hi-ho, Silver!" "Shit..." "I can spot snoops like that a mile off." "Here." "Put it in the shed with the rest." "So, my little darling... you had to come back!" "Is it my kid?" "Do you fancy my kid, then?" "Here..." "John Wayne..." "John Wayne..." "You should eat something too, sweetheart." "Unappetizing but chock-full of iron." "Who knows?" "You'll be needing that here." "Yummy!" "Fuck!" "He didn't see that coming!" "Well?" "I should think so!" "Hey, you!" "Hey!" " Untie me!" " John Wayne..." "John Wayne won't fucking come!" "Untie me!" "Look!" "Go on." "Do it." "Shit." "Here, John Wayne." "Show me what you can do." "John Wayne..." "John Wayne..." "Yes!" "Go on, pull." "Hurry, they should be on the slag heap by now." "I was a wrestler when I was young." "A little squirt like you has no chance." "Hurry, we haven't time to waste." "Hello." "Help!" "You won't catch me out twice." "Anyway, it's the chairs for you tomorrow." "John Wayne..." "John Wayne..." "Is there a problem with the toilets?" "Yeah, trouble with a gang of bikers." "So if I want to..." "I have to go outside." "Yeah." "No choice." "Yeah..." "See you, Jean-Jean." "I fucked your high score." "I talked to a Miss Charlotte Massot." "About the disappearance of a friend." "Really?" "Yeah." "She was leaving your place." "When?" "Last Saturday." "My mother runs the place at weekends." "You'll have to ask her." " Can I see her?" " No." "She's looking after the farm." "This one's not looking so good." "A cop came by the diner." "Asking lots of questions." "He's just an old fool." "Go and see to the new girl." "They won't be long now." "I like the girl." "She's nice." "I think she can hold out." "I'm talking to you." "She hasn't always been like this." "But when my brothers died, she went mad." "The authorities would rather see them die in the mine than risk a firedamp explosion." "You can't fight them." "The village elders talked about a creature born of mud and the blood of the dead." "Miners who died underground..." "That always made us laugh." "It's weird that they didn't kill you." "I think they dug too deep." "My mother says the earth wants blood and we can't refuse it." "Morning!" "Good God!" "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." "That's OK." "We don't get many visitors nowadays." "How can I help?" "I wanted to talk about a Charlotte Massot." "Don't know her." "You do." "I met her at your bar a while back." "I remember her." "You don't find many little prizes like that here." "Oh, yes!" " A brunette." " Yes." " A pretty girl." " Yes." "Methinks something has happened to her." "What makes you say that?" "Come inside for a minute." "Standing out here like this..." "I'm forgetting my manners." "Have a seat." "Thank you." "Fancy a coffee?" "Even with my truck stop, we only just get by." "Only just." "You really did take me for a pudding." "To be honest, who can blame you?" "Come along." "Come on." "I said you shouldn't pick up hitchers nowadays." "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you." "I don't know." "Do you?" "I'm going to kill them all." "What are we after?" "We may have a chance." "They weaken when the moon wanes." "We raped the earth!" "It's sending us its MONSTERS!" "We should go back to the slag heap." "It's the only place they can live." "So, La Spack..." "Not laughing now, are you?" "You fat cow!" "Not a day to give up smoking." "Chinaski!" "Forget him, we have to be there by nightfall." "Look what I found." "Good timing." "I was bored shitless." "What do we do with them?" " I was going to fuck the boy." " I remember!" "You're fucking obsessed." "Yeah, I like it..." "It's La Spack." "Oh, fuck!" "Why's she throwing guys' heads at us?" "Do we kill them first or you, old woman?" "What the fuck...?" "We have to barricade ourselves in." "She'll bring them out at night and they'll kill us." "Bring out who?" "You don't want to know." "Don't swallow his bullshit!" "We'll have to kick ass." "Are you wimps up for it?" "Shut it, you!" "All I see is an old madwoman taking potshots and our only answer is empty beer bottles." "What's that?" "It was my father's." "He liked shooting on weekends." " You're tooled up, pussy." " We have to last till dawn." "Your old lady never dies?" "She never takes off her coat of mail." "Max!" "Max, come out of there!" "Has the girl turned your head?" "Fancy your chances, Granny?" "You really have a problem." "Why don't you shout when I shoot you?" "Let's start again." "Even at this end of the barrel, you still look like a jerk!" "You're old and mad, but you've got guts." "You're so mad, you don't know when you're fucked!" "Come..." "Come closer..." "You're the one who's fucked." "What are these creeps?" "So the earth wants blood?" "I'll give it some." "Oh, fuck..." "The sons of bitches!" "..which meant she steered clear of the others." " You like jokes?" " Yes." "You know the one about a masochist, a zoophile, a necrophile, a sadist, a pyromaniac and a murderer?" "No." "It's dead funny." "I'll take a leak then tell you."