"Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET" "Death ends a life but it does not end a relationship which struggles on in the survivor's mind toward some resolution which it may never find." "Northeast Airlines announces the arrival of flight number four." "Yellow Bird service from Miami and Fort Lauderdale now arriving at Gate Number 9." " Good morning." " Good morning." " Tell me where I can get a wheelchair?" " Yes, at the ramp." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "Attention please." "Flight number 10 from Los Angeles..." "Hello, Dad." "Well, Gene, as I live and breathe." "This is a surprise." " I wrote you I'd be here." " You did?" "Oh, well, my mind is a sieve." " Hello, Mother." " Northeast Airlines announces..." "I got a wheelchair for you." "Save you the walk." "Oh, my precious." "What would we do without you?" "You look great." "I'm all right, but listen to him." "I couldn't get him to see a doctor there." "I told you I wasn't gonna let those bozos charge me tourist prices." "That wind down there never stops blowing." " He's had me sick with worry." " Now, now, Mother." "I've taken pretty good care of myself for 80 years." " I know, but..." " Take care of your mother." "I'll see you at the baggage section." " Bags won't be there yet, Dad." " I want to be there." "Don't want anyone making off with our luggage." "Where's the car parked?" " It's in the lot." " Is that the Buick?" "I wrote you from California." "I bought a Mustang." " I thought you like Buicks." " No, you like Buicks." "Things to worry about." "Nobody's gonna walk off with your bags." "I've travelled a good deal more than you have, old man." "You keep an eye on your luggage or some savage will walk off with it." "You can't change him, lovey." "There's no use trying." "He's a remarkable man." "Look how he walks." "Like a brigadier general." "He may not always remember where he's going but he always goes there with a firm step." "Who took this picture of you?" "A friend." "I guess it's supposed to be artistic." "It looks weak." "Oh, now, lovey, don't go on like that." "It's a very nice picture." "No, I like a picture of a man to look at me straight in the eye." "I suppose we should stop and shop." "There'll be nothing in the house to eat." " I'm gonna take you out to dinner." " Hooray for our son." "Can you spare the time?" " Mother, he said he would." " I wanna tell you about California." " Yes." "We haven't heard anything." " Gene, take the next to the left." "I'll bet Tom didn't bring that battery for the car." " Did you write him?" " Yes." "And the next right, Gene." "You don't mind my giving you directions, do you?" " Well, he did bring it back." " Good." "Can't count on anyone these days." " Where's your mother?" " She's in her garden." "What?" "She's walking in her garden." "You know, Gene, I don't mean to criticise but you're mumbling a great deal." "I have great difficulty understanding you." "You need a hearing aid, Dad." "Oh, I can hear perfectly well if people would only enunciate." ""Mr. Garrison, if you would only enunciate."" "Professor Aurelio at night school." "Where did you say your mother was?" "In her garden." "You know, Gene the strain has been awful." " She looks well." " I know." "You never know when she'll have another one of those damned seizures." "It's been rough, I know." "Well, we'll manage." "She's a good soldier." "But, you know, she eats too fast." "The doctor said she must slow down." "Well we got all of your letters from California, Gene." " I have them here someplace..." " Sorry I didn't manage every Sunday." "We do look forward to your letters, old man." "There isn't much else for us these days." "But this girl, this woman you mentioned several times..." "I'll tell you all about California at dinnertime, okay?" " You seem to see a great deal of her." " Well, I do." "Carol's been dead, let's see now..." "It's over a year." "There's no reason why you shouldn't go out with another woman." "No." "I was in California many years ago." "It's a beautiful place." " I can understand your enthusiasm." " I like it a lot." "But, Gene if you were to go out there to live it would kill your mother." "God, you're her whole life." " Dad, no." " Yes, you are." "Oh, she's fond of your sister, but you are her life." "You think I haven't known that all these years?" " Dad, I know we're very close, but..." " Gene." "Father." "Just remember what I've said." "Well, let's get the rest of the luggage." "Here she is." " Good evening." " Good evening, Mary." " Mr. Garrison." " We missed you." "We had a girl down in Florida with no sense of humour." " Couldn't get a rise out of her." " We'll have some jokes then." " Dry martini?" " You twist my arm." "Six-to-one." "What's your pleasure, Gene, Dubonnet?" " I'll have a martini." " But not six to one." " The same, please." " Well." " Mother?" " No, nothing." "My joints would be as stiff as a board." " Did you say you'd be stiff?" " Oh, my joints." "My joints." "We wouldn't want you stiff." "Did I ever show you this ring?" "You've shown it to him a hundred times." "I never thought I'd wear a diamond ring but when T.J. Parks died, I wanted something of his." "The last time I had it appraised, they told me it was worth 4000." "Whenever I go see a doctor, I always turn it around." "I don't want him to think I'm rolling in money." "It's his favourite occupation, getting that ring appraised." "That and telling the gruesome details of his life." "Now, wait a minute." "I can't have anyone in." "Your father won't play bridge or do anything." "He just wants to watch Westerns on TV or tell the story of his life." "Well, people seem to be interested." "That story of your mother's funeral." " I don't remember that." " Don't get him started." "He keeps telling how he wouldn't allow his father to his mother's funeral." " You suggesting I should've let him?" " I'm not saying..." "He'd run out on us when we were kids." "Can you imagine telling everyone how he shoved his father off the funeral coach?" "I'd do it again." "I was 10 years old." "He hadn't been around to see us for over a year." "Four of us living together in that two-room tenement." "Suddenly, he showed up at the funeral weeping, begging." "Drunk as usual." "I shoved him off." "I didn't see him until years later, when he was dying in Bellevue of drink." " What looks good to you?" " I haven't finished yet." "I went down to see him, asked if he wanted anything." "He said he wanted an orange." "So I sent him in a half dozen oranges." "I would've sent more, except he was dying and there was no point in just sending oranges to the nurses." "The next morning, he died." "Look at your menu, Father." "What looks good to you?" "I don't feel like anything." "I have no appetite." " This is the way it's been." " Here we are." "Six-to-one." "Oh, damn it." "You always ask for lemon peel." "But twisted over it, not dumped into it." "It's all right." "It's all right." "Well, to your smiling Irish eyes." "He hasn't changed a bit, has he?" "I like to get a rise out of them." "If they kid with me, I give them a good tip." "If not, straight 10 percent." "Now, what's the matter?" "If you wanna make a fool of yourself, go ahead." " It's lovely, dear." " Thank you." "I don't know how he can stand listening to those Westerns hour after hour." "I think he always wanted to be a cowboy." "He won't listen to the things I wanna hear." "Down in Florida, there was only one TV in the lounge and he rode herd on it." "And then he'd go to sleep in three minutes." "Still, he's a remarkable man." "Good old Mom." "What a shame that children can't see their parents when they're young and courting and in love." "Gene!" "Come and watch this one." "It's a real shoot-'em-up." "I'll be down in a minute, Dad." "Now, tell me about California." "Well, I liked it a lot." "It was good for you to get away for a while from your apartment and memories of Carol." "Mother I told you about the woman that I met in California, Peggy." "The doctor with the children." "I'm thinking of marrying her." "Well, she sounds like a lovely woman." "And people would expect a man your age to marry again." "And she has her practice out there." "And children and their friends and their schools." "Well, there's still trains and planes." "And Alice comes home from Chicago once or twice a year with the children." "Your father and I can take care of each other." "He makes the beds which is the only work I'm not allowed to do and I'll remember where he put his chequebook." "I'm sorry it's worked out like this." "We're fortunate to have had you so near us for so long." "Have you told your father?" "No but I think he's guessed from my letters." "He says if I went out there to live, it would kill you." "Why can't he say it would kill him?" "Because he thinks it wouldn't hold you or mean anything to you." "I'll talk to him." " He'll make a dreadful scene but..." " No." "You've always done that for Alice and me." "I'll do it." "What?" " Where's your mother?" " She's upstairs." "She's gone to bed." "Dad." "This is a good one." "This fellow can really handle a gun." " Dad, I wanna talk to you about..." " Just a minute." " I'm gonna go." " Oh, so soon?" "We see so little of you." "I'm up at least once a week." "Oh, I'm not complaining, but there never seems to be any time and when you are here your mother does all the talking." "Well all's lost, all's spent when we our desires get without content." "'Tis better to be that which we destroy then by destruction dwell in doubtful joy." "Well, we'll get a chance to talk, Dad." "Maybe you can come down into town in a couple of days and have lunch." " I'd like to talk to you." " That's a wonderful idea." "I'll call." "Can't tell you what a comfort it is knowing you're down in the city." "Don't know what we'd do without you, Gene." " No hat or coat?" " No." "It's still chilly." "You should be careful." "You're coming up for your mother's birthday?" " Yes." " Gonna be my party." "And Gene remember what I said about California." "Good night, Dad." "Be careful." "I noticed you were inclined to push it a little up there." "You make a full stop at the end of the driveway and then turn left." "Then there's a lot of traffic out..." "Take the first left and then the second right." "Good night, old man." "Hello, Norma?" "It's Gene." "Couple days ago." "Listen would you like to come out for a drink?" "Okay." "Good." "I'll see you in about 10 minutes, all right?" "Bye." "Just once." "Just once I'd like you to come see me and then after..." "Afterwards, smile." "Thanks." "You feel guilty, that upsets me and the whole thing gives me the willies." "I'm sorry." "What are you feeling so guilty about now?" "That you're gonna get married and you're here with me?" "Oh, I don't know, I just always feel like I'm using you." "I don't think of it as using." "Back when Carol was dying, when you first came running up those steps I was pretty damn touched by the whole thing." "You make it sound great." " Somewhere you must hate me." " No." " You're bad." " Coming to you like this, I..." ""Hello, are you gonna be in?" "I wanna come over."" "Still I get all like..." "So some other men go out on a binge." "You come to me." "Frankly, I like your way better." " It's just..." " Friendlier." "I get so fed up with being treated like a child." "I mean, like an ungrateful child by a senile old man." "I sit there and watch television with him for hours while he sleeps." "Then when I'm going he says, "We don't ever get to see you."" "Why can't your sister do some of his babysitting?" "She's in Chicago and banished away." "I told you for marrying a Jew." "I hate him." "And I hate hating him." "I hate what it does to me because when I'm around him I..." "Somehow I shrink." "Well, you'll be going away soon." "Yeah." "Yeah." "For some damn reason, I feel guilty about leaving him." "Arguing with each other." "He was a big man in that city." "He was the mayor." "He was the president of the board of education and a lot else." "Now they don't know he exists." "All his contemporaries are dead." "Who reads the bronze plaques on school buildings?" "A forgotten man in an ungrateful city." "Now I'm gonna walk out on him too and for some reason, that just depresses the hell out of me." "It's a lousy world, my friend." "Yeah." "Only you wanna set it all right." "Make it like in storybooks." "Love eternal beyond death." "Grandma and Grandpa with the kiddies gathered around them." "And sex always an expression of abiding love." "Grow up, huh?" "No." "Don't change." "Hello." "What is it, Dad?" "Oh, Jesus." "I'll be right up there." "Excuse me." "Mrs. Garrison's room, please." " Room 507." " Thank you." "Mr. Beauhart." "Mr. Beauhart please come to admitting office." "I'm her son." " Is Dr. Mayberry around?" " No, but he saw her an hour ago." "He seems to think everything is going just as well as can be expected." "Thank you." "Miss Chilton." "Miss Chilton, number 2256." "Dad." "Dad." "Oh, Gene." "Am I glad to see you." " You've seen your mother?" " Yes, I have." "That doesn't sound any better, Dad." "I've had a shot." "After your mother got settled here I went down to the doctor's office and had a shot." "I just don't understand it." "I was getting breakfast..." "You know, I've been getting breakfast." " when suddenly, I heard your mother scream." ""Tom!" "Tom!"" "I went running up the stairs and there she was, stretched out on the floor." ""Nitro, nitro," she whispered." "You know, we've got it all over the house." "Well, I gave her the nitro and I called the doctor and the ambulance and here we are." "She had such a good time in Florida." "Oh, she worried about my cough but she had a good time." "Dad, these things happen." "I suppose I could have seen more of her down there but she only wanted to play bridge." "I met some very interesting people." "You know, I met this man came from Waterbury, Connecticut." "He used to know Helen Moffett." "I've told you about Helen Moffett, haven't I?" "When I was a kid, when the clouds hung low and dark for me my grandfather used to take me out there sometimes on Sundays." "A city slum kid in that beautiful country." "And Helen and I..." "Oh, it never amounted to much." "We'd go to church, then we'd take a walk." "Sit in a hammock or under an apple tree." "I think she liked that." "But I didn't have any money, so I didn't get out there very often." "Her mother never liked me." ""That young man will end up the same way his father did."" "And that scared her off." "This man from Florida, I have his name here." "He said that Helen had never married." "She'd been in love as a kid and then never married." "Dr. Wish." "Dr. Wish, please come to Emergency." "Now, I would like to make a suggestion." "What's that, Dad?" "If we move right along, we might just be able to make Rotary for dinner." "I've been away for three months." "They don't like that." "If you're absent too often, they drop you or fine you." "What about it?" "I thought we'd just grab a bite here at the hospital." "Oh, I had lunch at the coffee shop downstairs and it's terrible." "We'll just say hello to the fellas and come back." "Your mother's sleeping now." "She'd want us to go." "Sure, Dad." "Dr. Robbins, please call 399." "I don't know what I'd do without you, old man." " You've been here before, haven't you?" " Yes." " Hello, Tom." " Hello Sam." "Good to see you back." "Good trip?" "Fine." "Except for those damn winds down there." "Excuse my French, Sam." "You know my son Gene." "Reverend Pell." " Yes." " How are you?" "Gene was a Marine." "You were a Marine, weren't you Sam?" " Oh, no, Navy." " Well, same thing." " Don't say that to a Marine." " Gene saw the flag go up at Iwo." "Dad, let's order a drink, shall we?" "Oh, Sam, I've been wanting to talk to you." "This isn't the appropriate time but some bozo has been crowding our pew at church." "I don't wanna seem unreasonable, but there's a whole church to sit in." "Well, we'll see what we can do." "Martini, George." "Six-to-one." " Dubonnet, Gene?" " Martini." "I hope you don't drink too many of those, Tom." "Six to one." "My grandmother used to give me every morning before school when I was knee-high to a grasshopper a jigger of gin with garlic in it." "That was to keep away colds." "I wonder what the teachers thought." "I must have stunk to high heaven." "I don't want you to think I'm running away but I was on my way to the little boys' room." "Catch up at dinner." "Go ahead." "We don't want an accident." " You got a great dad there, Gene." " Thank you." "Dr. Peggy Thayer, please." "If she wants to know who's calling, it's Gene Garrison from New York." "Hello, Peggy?" "How are you?" "I'm sorry I didn't call earlier." "I'm okay." "Listen." "You know I picked up my mom and dad at the plane and took them home." "Well yesterday my..." "My mother had a heart attack." "I went up there last night, and..." "No, I'm in the city now." "The hospital just called." "My mother died a few minutes ago." "I'm sorry, Gene." "There was nothing that could be done." "She's been living on borrowed time for quite a while." "Your father's all right." "You know, Gene, he's been prepared for this for years." "It may, in many ways, be a relief." "He's taken wonderful care of her." "I know I'm touching on a difficult matter but, as an old friend, he shouldn't be living in that house alone." "Do I have to look at all these?" "It's the only way, Tom." "The best way is to let you just wander around and look at them." "The prices are all marked inside the caskets." "Nine hundred dollars." "For the casket?" "Well, that includes everything, Tom." "All our services and one car for the mourners." "Other cars are extra." "We'll have your car." "We don't need any other." "If anybody else wants to come, let them use their own cars." "Oh, dear, Gene." "Two thousand dollars?" " What are these made of?" " They vary, Tom." "Steel, bronze, wood." "What accounts for that variation in price?" "Material, workmanship, the finish inside." "You see, this is all silk." "I suppose the metal ones stand up the best." "Of course, the casket does not go directly into the ground, Tom." "We first sink a concrete outer vault." "That prevents seepage, et cetera." " That's included in the price?" " Oh, yes." "I suppose the metal ones are welded at the seams." "Yes." "The plot up there is on a slope." "I suppose that's not so good." "I never thought of that when I bought it." "I don't think it makes much difference, Tom." " For a child." " Yes." "My mother would've fit into that." "She was just a little bit of a thing." "She died when I was 10." "I don't remember much about the funeral except for my father." "He had run out on us but he came back when she died and I wouldn't let him come to the cemetery." "Well, that's water over the dam but this made me think of her." "Five hundred?" "What do you think of this, Gene?" "I like the colour of the silk." "Did you say this was silk or satin, Marvin?" "Silk." "I don't think it makes any difference." "Whatever you say." "Well, I mean, they all go into that concrete thing." "This one's 800." "I don't see the difference." "I don't like the metal." "The wood seems warmer." " Don't you agree, Gene?" " Yes, I do." "Nine hundred." " Is there a tax?" " That includes the tax, Tom." "All right, let's settle on this and get out of here." "Fine." "I'd estimate that Mrs. Garrison should be..." "That is if people want to come and pay their respects about noon tomorrow?" " That's fine." "Like to see where Mrs. Garrison will be resting?" "That won't be necessary." " Will your sister be coming on?" " Yes, this afternoon." "Shall we go, Dad?" "She was just a little bit of a thing." " Hi." " Hi." "I'm so glad you're here." "You didn't have to meet me in all this rain." " I wanted to get out of the house." " I can imagine." "How is he?" "He's fine." "God, how fine he is." "What do you mean?" "No change." "No change that I can see." "Reverend Pell came, he told him his life story." " How much money he made in 1929." " Oh, God." "Damn it." "You know, our mother just died and I wanted to talk about her but she was never mentioned." "Except as my inspiration, which is his cue to start the story of his life." "Sorry you've had to take it all alone." "I get so fed up with people coming up to me and saying:" ""Your dad is a remarkable man."" "Nobody ever talks about Mother." "You'd think he died." "I just wanna say to them, "You don't know my father." "You just know the man in the newspapers." "He banished my sister for marrying a Jew." "That didn't get in the papers."" "What a night that was." "Mother running out, sobbing, you shouting at him, storming out and the two of us sitting there, father and son eating in silence." "Afterwards, I threw up." "I shouted and you threw up." "That was pretty much the pattern." "I felt guilty about Mother all the way coming here." "I should've seen her more often, brought the kids more often." "Instead I sent flowers." "Well, that's inevitable." "I felt the same way." "You?" "You made her life." "A son shouldn't have to make his mother's life." "Dad always said he didn't know the meaning of the word quit." "Well, he quit on her." "And I..." "I was just there. I..." "Every time I see him like this, asleep, the old tiger the old man, my father." "Then he wakes up and becomes Tom Garrison and I'm in trouble." "Margaret." "Dad." "I must have dozed off." "Where's your mother?" "Dad, Alice is here." "Alice?" "What for?" "Hello, Dad." ""For as much as it hath pleased Almighty God to take from the world the soul of our departed sister we commit her body to the ground." "Dust to dust, ashes to ashes." "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." "Blessed be the name of the Lord."" "Don't know how you feel but I'd like to figure out some kind of memorial for Mother use some of the money she left." "Yes, definitely." "Maybe some shelves of books for the children's library." "Christmas books with the stories she liked to tell." "That's a good idea." "Well, Gene, what are we going to do?" "I don't know." "I think you should go and get married and move to California, but..." "I might as well get it off my chest." "It would be murder if he came to live with us." "In the first place he wouldn't do it, feeling as he does about Sidney." "Kids can't stand how he tells them how to do everything." "I can't tell you how it makes me feel as a man to see someone like that who's distinguished and remarkable, just..." "Just become a nuisance." "I know I sound hard but as long as we can be assured that he's taken care of..." "Oh, I'll feel some guilt and you maybe more but my responsibility is to my husband and children." "Yes." " That's your responsibility." " And your responsibility is to yourself." "Get married again to get away from memories of Carol and her whole world." " Oh, well..." "Maybe it's Mother's death, the funeral." "All I can think about is Carol." "Gene, my friend, my brother." "Get out of here." "You know we only remember the terrible things about Dad." "I've been trying to remember some of the others." " What he did for us." " I'm doing a lot for my kids." "I don't expect them to pay me back at the other end." "I'm sure we can find a full-time housekeeper and he can afford it." "He wouldn't agree to that." "Either that or finding a home." "We might as well face it." "His mind is going." "Sooner or later we'll have to start thinking powers of attorney perhaps even committing him to an institution." "God, it's all so ugly." "He kicked me out." "He said he never wanted to see me again." "He broke Mother's heart over that for years." "He was mean, unloving." "He used to beat you when you were a kid if you disobeyed him." "You've hated and feared him all your adult life." "Still, he's my father and a man." "And what's happening to him as a man appals me." "You know how ashamed I feel." "Not being able to say to him:" ""Papa, come live with me." "I love you." "I wanna take care of you."" "I'm going to talk to him tonight about a housekeeper." "I'll do the dirty work but when he turns to you, don't you give in." "I've always wanted to love him." "I've always needed to love him." "How are you coming?" "Oh, Alice." "I've written out receipts for you to sign for the jewellery your mother left you and the things she left for Charlotte." "All right." "It may not be necessary, but as the executor I'll be held responsible for these things." " Dad, I wanna talk with you..." " All right." "But first I want Gene to hear this letter I've written to Harry Hall." "He and I used to play golf together out in Jersey." "He wrote me a nice letter about your mother and I've written to him." "It will only take a minute if I can read my own shorthand." ""Dear Harry." "How thoughtful of you to write me on the occasion of Margaret's death." "It was quite a blow." "As you know, she was my inspiration and had been since that day 55 years ago when I first met her when the clouds hung low and dark for me." "At the time, I was supporting my younger brother and sister and my aged grandfather in a two-room flat, going to work every day in a lumber mill." "Providence, which has always been my guide prompted me to take a night course in shorthand and typing and also prompted me to go to the Underwood Typewriting Company seeking a position as stenographer." "They sent me, God be praised to the office of T.J. Parks of Colonial Brass and a job that started at $5 a week ended in 1954, when I retired at 50,000 a year."" "That's as far as I've gotten." "Dad, I don't think financial matters are appropriate in answering a letter of condolence." " But it's true." "You see, it follows." "I'm saying that she was my inspiration and it seems entirely appropriate to explain it." "It's your letter, Dad." " Dad, I'm leaving tomorrow and..." " What?" "I'm going home tomorrow." "Well, Alice, I'm grateful to you for coming." "Your mother would've appreciated it." "She was very fond of you." "I think we ought to talk over what your plans are." "My plans?" "I have many letters to answer and a whole mess in my files and accounts." "If the income-tax people ever ask me to produce my books:" "I didn't mean exactly that kind of plan." "I meant..." "You plan to keep the house?" "Why, of course." "All my things are here." "It's..." "It's..." "Oh, I'll be back on my feet." "My... will clear up now this strain is over." "I'm confident I'll be in shape any day now." "I worry leaving you in this house alone, Dad." "I'm perfectly all right." "Don't you worry about me." "Either one of you." "Why..." "Why for the last year, ever since your mother's first attack I've been getting the breakfasts, making the beds, using a dust rag." "And the laundress comes in once a week to clean up for me and Gene here, he'll keep an eye on me, drop in once or twice a week." " That's the point..." " Alice." "We think you should get a full-time housekeeper to live here." "Alone, here with me?" "Well, that's not very proper, is it?" " Nevertheless..." " No." "Now, that's final." " Gene and I would feel a lot better if..." " Look, Alice." "You don't have to worry about me." "I'm perfectly all right." "You go." "Leave with a clear mind." "I'm all right." "I will appreciate Gene's dropping in now and then, but I'm all right." "We would still like to get a full-time housekeeper." "What do you mean you would like to get?" "I've hired and fired thousands of people in my day." "I don't need anyone getting someone for me." " Well, will you do it yourself then?" " No." "I told you no." "Since I was 8 years old, I've taken care of myself." "What would you know about it?" "You were given everything on a platter." "At an age when you were swinging on that tree out there breaking all the branches I was selling newspapers five hours a day." "And at night, dancing a jig in saloons for pennies." "You tell me I can't take care of myself." "If I want a housekeeper, and I don't, I'll hire one myself." "I've hired and fired thousands of people in my day when I was vice president of Colonial Brass at 50,000 a year." "Two thousand people." "And you tell me I'm incompetent to hire a housekeeper." "How many people have you hired?" "You teach." "All right." "If that's what you want to do, that's your business but don't talk to me about hiring and firing." "Dad, you might fall down." "Why fall down?" "Nothing wrong with my balance." " When you get up, you're dizzy." " Nonsense." "I..." "I appreciate your concern but I'm perfectly able to carry on by myself." "As I said, with Gene's help from time to time." "I imagine we could have dinner once in a while, couldn't we, Gene?" "Once or twice a week?" "Take you up to Rotary." " Some of the speakers are amusing." " Sure, Dad." "Give us time to get together at last, a chance to know each other." "Gene wants to get married." " Alice." " What?" "Gene wants to move to California and get married." "Alice, will you shut up?" "I can't help it." "You've never faced up to him." " Let him ruin your life." " I can handle my own life!" " You can't." " Children." "Children." "I don't want to interfere with either of your lives." "I took of myself at 8, I can take care of myself at 80." "I've never wanted to be a burden to my children." " I'm gonna hang around, Dad." " There's no need to." "I'll move in until you start feeling better." "I don't want to ruin your life." "I didn't say that." "I've long had the impression that my only function in this family was to supply the money..." " Dad." " To supply funds for your education." " Dad, will you stop it!" "As far as I'm concerned, this conversation has ended." "Alice, we've gotten along very well for some years without your attention..." " Dad." " You sent me away." "Don't forget that." "You chose to lead your own life." "Well, we won't keep you now." "Dad, come on, stop it." "I've been competent to go into the city year after year to earn money for your clothes, your food, the roof over your head." "Am I now incompetent?" "Is that what you're trying to tell me?" "For God's sakes, Alice..." "I'm trying to get a practical matter accomplished." "You didn't have to destroy him in the process." "I wasn't discussing his competence, so that will be a matter for discussion." "You can go with a clear conscience." "I'm doing this because I want to." "You can't help yourself." "When I wanna be analysed, I'll pay for it." "Did you see yourself when he started to rage?" "You shrank." "I shrank at the ugliness of what was happening." "You're staying because you can't stand his wrath the day you say:" ""Dad, I'm leaving."" "You've never been able to stand up to his anger." "Oh, look, Alice..." "He'll call you ungrateful and you'll believe him." "What do you want us to do?" "Let it be known that Alice and Gene have done all we can to help this old man in old age and make him happy without inconveniencing ourselves." "He's refused our help, so if he falls and hits his head lies and rots, it's not our fault." "Don't think anyone expects us to ruin our lives for an unreasonable old man." " It's not gonna ruin my life." " It is." " It's a week or a month." " Forever." "Oh, Alice let's stop this." "I know what I'm gonna do." "I just can't do anything else." "Maybe there isn't the same thing between a mother and a daughter but the old man in me wants to extend some kind of mercy to that old man." "I never had a father." "I ran away from him, he ran away from me." "Maybe he's right." "It's time we found each other." "Excuse me for saying so, but I find that a lot of sentimental crap." "What do you hope to find?" "You hope to find love?" "Can't tell from what he said what you're going to find?" "Alice, don't give me the textbooks." "He wants your balls." "And he's had them." "I'm sorry." "I want to shock you." "When has he ever regarded you as a man an equal, a male?" "When you were a Marine." "And that you did for him." "You didn't wanna be a Marine." ""Now, Papa, will you love me?"" "When was he ever proud of the things you do?" "The things you value?" "When did he ever mention your teaching or your books except in scorn?" "I just do not wanna let my father die a stranger." "You're looking for something that isn't there, Gene." "You're looking for a mother's love in a father." "Mothers are soft and yielding." "Fathers are hard and rough to teach us the way of the world which is rough, which is mean which is selfish and prejudiced." "That's your definition." "Because of what he did, you're entitled to it." "I've always been grateful for what he did to me, kicking me out." "He taught me a marvellous lesson, and has made me able to face a lot." "And there's been a lot to face, and so I'm grateful as hell to him." "If I couldn't get the understanding and compassion from a father who could I expect it from?" "So I learned, and I didn't expect it." "And I've found very little, and so I'm grateful to him." "I'm grateful as hell to him." "Let's not argue anymore." "I'm gonna stay, Alice for a while, at least, for whatever reasons." "And Peggy?" "Oh, we'll see." "She'll be here in a week for a meeting." "Don't lose her, Gene." "Maybe I'm still fouled up on myself but I think I've spoken near the truth about you." "Suddenly I miss Mother so." "Board!" "Let me emphasise that this place would only be equipped to handle your dad while he's still able to function reasonably well." "Of course, at Christmas we fix it up with holly and candles." "Make it very attractive." "This is a superior place." "Rates run around $50 a day." "Well, the state hospital's just a few minutes drive from here." "Oh, my God." "It may sound brutal to say it but that's the other side of our miracle drugs." "We keep them alive but a grim alternative." "Attention, please." "Flight number 10 from Los Angeles has arrived at Gate Number 3." "Come over here." "It's great to see you." "The real world." "Promise me one thing." "We'll die young." "It's a little late for me." "I mean, before we..." "Before we become public nuisances." "Oh, my love." "It's been rough." " That old man..." " I know." "I see it all the time." "Have you managed to find a housekeeper for him?" "I looked at the homes the other day." "The institutions, it's..." "We'd all come east, you know." "The kids." " lf you want it that way." " I don't want it that way." "I don't know what I want." "I just know I want you." "Well, this is a pleasant surprise." "I told you when I left I'd be out tonight." " You did?" " Yes." "Oh, well, my mind's a complete sieve." "Dad, this is Peggy Thayer." "Dr. Peggy Thayer." "Oh, doctor, I have a slight pain right here." " How do you do, my dear?" " How do you do, Mr. Garrison?" "I don't think Peggy can help you much." "She's a gynaecologist." " A what?" " I'm a woman's doctor." "Oh, yes, yes." "Margaret was always running to one of those." "Well, I'll just have to take my trade to someone else." "I must apologise for the condition of this house." "You see, Mrs. Garrison passed on just recently." "Yes." "I was very sorry to hear about that." "Hundreds of letters to answer." "And look at this, we simply must do something about this." "Your mother's magazine subscriptions." "And this book club." "I've been reading some of it." "Absolutely revolting the things they get away with nowadays." "I'm sure you don't read things like this." "What you mean "things like this," Dad?" "I'm not going to describe them in front of this charming girl." "Are you from this area, Miss?" " Did you tell me your name?" " Dad, this is Peggy from California." "Oh, yes." " Do you intend to stay long, Miss...?" " Please, call me Peggy." "May I?" "Thank you." "Is that your real name, or is it short for Margaret?" " My real name's Margaret." " My wife's name was Margaret." "But she was never called Peggy or Maggy." "Always Margaret." "Yes, it would never have occurred to me to call her Peggy." "She was a Margaret, but Peggy is right for you." "I'm gonna go tuck him in and say good night." " Gene." " What?" " Don't get mad." " What?" "I think he's charming." "Most people do." "I'll just be a minute." " You ready to be tucked in?" " Yes." "Look at all the weight I've lost." "You got quite a little pot there." "Yeah, but through here, through my chest." "We're gonna put all that back on you." "You know, I never had any hair on my chest." "I don't understand it." "You had hair on your chest." "I just never had any." "Oh, well." "I'm confident if I can get some exercise." "Remember when I used to get you up in the morning we'd go down do callisthenics to the radio?" " Oh, yeah." "One, two, three, four." "One, two, three, four." "Take it easy, now." "Gotta wait till morning for that." "And then we'd put on the gloves and spar on the side porch." " Oh, yeah." " The manly art of self-defence." "Gentleman Jim Corbett." "Wait, wait, wait." " Hey!" " What?" "Well, I'm gonna get over to the club and play some golf." "Sit around and swap stories with the boys." "Too bad you never took up golf." "I was just going through these desk drawers." "I don't know, just going over things pictures." "I think you've seen most of them." "The family." "You know, Dad I don't think I've ever seen a picture of your father." "He's just a boy." "That was just about the time he got married." "Oh, he was a fine looking man before he started drinking." "Big, square, high colour but he became my mortal enemy." "Did I ever show you this?" "Careful." "I made a home for my brother and sister." "We were out one day and he came around and ripped up all my sister's clothes and shoes." "Drunk, of course." "A few days later he came around to apologise and ask for some money and I threw him out." "The next day he left that note." " And you kept it?" " Yeah." "I didn't see him again till many years later when he was dying in Bellevue." "Somebody got word to me." "And I went down to see if he wanted anything." "He said he'd like some fruit." "So I sent him in some oranges." "He died the next day." "There must have been something there to love, understand." "In my father?" "Do you remember this, Gene?" ""To the greatest dad in the world on Father's Day, 1946."" "I appreciate that, Gene." "That's a lovely tribute." "I think I have all of your Father's Day cards here." "You know, I never wanted children, coming from the background I did." "We didn't have Alice for a long time but Margaret finally persuaded me." "She said they'd be a comfort in our old age." "And you are, Gene." "Well, I..." "A programme of yours in college, some glee club concert." "I have everything in here but the kitchen stove." " Do you still sing?" " No, Dad." "No, I haven't for years." "Oh, that's too bad." "You had a good voice." "Well, we can't do everything." "Oh, I remember your mother would sit at the piano, hour after hour and I'd be up here at my desk, listening to you sing." "You always used to asked me to sing "When I Grow Too Old To Dream."" "Did I?" "I don't remember your ever singing that." "You always seemed to be just finishing when I came into the room." "Did you used to sing that for me?" "No but you always asked me to sing it for you." "Well, I certainly enjoyed sitting up here and listening." " That was my mother." " Oh, yes." "I've seen this, Dad." "It's lovely." "She was just 25 when that was taken." "She died the next year." "I used to carry it in my wallet all the time and I felt I was wearing it out, so I put it away." "Just a little bit of a thing." "Hey." "Hey." "Dad." "I never thought it would be like this." "I always thought I'd go first." "I'm sorry." "Just comes over me. I..." "It'll pass." "I'll get hold of myself." "Don't try, Dad." "Believe me, it's best." "No, no, it..." "It's just that..." " I'll be all right." " No, it's rough, Dad." " It's bound to be rough." " It'll pass." "It'll pass." " Want me to put these things away?" " No, I can..." "Yes, if you would." "I don't know what we'd do without you, Gene." "Dad." "How'd you like Peggy?" "Who?" "Oh, yes." "Oh, very nice, very attractive." "Dad, I'm thinking very seriously about marrying her and going out to California to live." "Dad, I know this is your home, what you're used to but, well, I'd like you to come out there with me, Dad." "It's lovely out there." "We'd get you an apartment close to us." "You know I would like to make a suggestion." " All right." "Why don't you all come here to live?" " Peggy has her practice out there, Dad." " A what?" "She's a doctor." "I told you." "And she has children and they have their school and friends." "Well, we have a big house here, and you always liked this house." "It's wonderful for children." "You used to play baseball out back and then there's that basketball thing." "Well, Dad, I'd like to get away from this country for a while." "It's been rough here ever since Carol died and it would be good for you, getting away." "Your mother would be very happy to have the house full of children." "I won't be around long, and then, it's all yours." "Dad, that's very kind of you." "I don't think it would work out." "Besides, Peggy's work and her children all her family's out there." "Your family's here." "Yes, I know." "You know, Gene, I'm just saying this for your own good but you went out to California shortly after Carol's death and you were exhausted from her long illness and, well, naturally, very susceptible." "I'm wondering if you waited long enough to know your mind." "I know my own mind." "I mean, taking on another man's children." "Did you mention this business to your mother?" "Yes, she told me to go with her blessing." "She would say that, of course, but I warned you." "Oh, for God's sakes." "All right, go ahead." "I can manage." "Send me a Christmas card, if you remember." " Dad." " What?" " I've asked you to come with me." " I'm not going." "I understand that but not this "send me a card, if you remember."" "I'm sorry if I offend you." "Your mother always said I mustn't raise my voice to you." "Want me to make it easy for you the way your mother did?" "Well, I won't." "If you wanna go, go!" "Oh, goddamn it." "I always knew it would be like this after your mother was gone." "I was only tolerated in this house because I paid the bills." " Oh, shut up." " Don't you tell me to shut up." "Shut up!" "I've asked you to come with me." "What do you want?" "What the hell do you want?" "If I lived here the rest of my life, it wouldn't be enough for you." "I've tried, goddamn it, I've tried to be the dutiful son." "Commanded into your presence on every conceivable occasion." "Easter, birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving." "Even the Thanksgiving when Carol was dying, I was with her in the hospital." ""We miss you." "Our day is nothing without you." "Could you come after you leave Carol?"" "You had no regard for what was really going on." "My wife was dying!" "Is it so terrible to wanna see your own son?" "It's terrible to wanna possess him entirely and completely, yes." "There'll be some papers to sign for your mother's estate." " Leave an address with your lawyer." " Oh, Dad." "From tonight on, you can consider me dead." "I've given you everything." "Since I was a snot-nosed kid I've worked my fingers to the bone for you." "You had everything, I had nothing." "I put a roof over your head, clothes on your back." " Food on the table." " You ungrateful bastard!" "What do you want for gratitude?" "Nothing!" "Nothing would be enough for you!" "You resented every damn thing you ever gave me!" "The orphan boy in you resented everything!" "I'm sorry as hell about your miserable childhood." "When you used to tell me those stories, I'd come to my room and cry but there's nothing I can do about it now and it does not excuse everything." "And I am grateful to you!" "I admire, respect you, stand in awe of what you've done." "I'll never even be able to touch it." "But it does not make me love you, and I wanted to love you." "You hated your father and I saw what that did to you and I did not wanna hate you." " I don't care what you feel about me." " Well, I do." "I came so close to loving you tonight." "I'd never felt so open to you." "You don't know what it cost me to ask you to come." "When I've never been able to sit in the same room alone with you." "You think your door was always open to me?" "It's not my fault if you never came through it." "Goodbye, Dad." " I'll have somebody stay with you." " I don't want anybody." "I can take care of myself." "I've always had to take care of myself." "Who needs you?" "Out!" "I've lived my whole life so that I could look any man in the eye and tell him to go to hell." "That night, I left my father's house forever." "I took the first right and the second left and this time, went as far as California." "We saw each other a few times after that." "We visited him and he visited us but then the arteries began to harden." "We put him in a hospital and he gradually slipped into speechless senility." "Not long after sitting and staring without comprehension at the television he died alone without even an orange in his hand." "Death ends a life but it does not end a relationship which struggles on in the surviv or's mind towards some resolution which it may never find." "Alice." "Alice said I would not accept the sadness of this world." "What does it matter if I never loved him or he never loved me?" "Perhaps she was right." "But still when I hear the word "father" it matters."