"and some old English guy always manages to save the day at the last minute with crosses and holy water." "But everybody knows the movies are full of shit." "and it ended with him." "The rest of us were just along for the ride." "What's this chicken scratch?" "It's cuneiform." "000 years old." "So why here?" "Because this is the cradle of civilization." "He would've been comfortable here." "Dan." "This seems like another dead end." "There's something beneath us." "You find a watch?" "Is it a body?" "Guys?" "Aah!" "Go!" "Aah!" "What the fuck?" "!" "Aah!" "I'm on the Stonebridge overpass." "Got it." "Heading westbound." "I'm just beneath ya." "Go!" "I got him." "Pull!" "man?" "He's got a gun!" "my God!" "Ouch." "Staked you with silver." "Why aren't you ash?" "Why aren't you smarter?" "dumb shit!" "Set your sorry ass up." "Damn." "Blade." "What the fuck happen tonight?" "How should I know?" "He was human." "Blade." "Killing vampires is clean." "They ash-- don't leave any evidence behind." "Killing humans is messy." "You better hope nobody ID'd you." "This worked really good." "What's this?" "A new delivery system for your serum." "It's an effervescent inhaler." "Just bite down on the mouth guard." "Delivery's automatic." "Some friends of mine made it." "Friends?" "Yeah." "You remember those?" "It was horrible." "and then the guy in the coat was shooting the other guy." " It looked like there was a lot of blood." " Thank you." "That was just a taste of the mayhem that occurred during tonight's brazen shootout that left at least four people dead." "an anonymous citizen captured the whole event on video." "we got a lead." "Wilson." "It's time to take these cowboys down." "That's what I'm talkin' about." "What's he been doing?" "Fuck all." "Just feeding." "Been through five of them so far." "Do you think we have enough security?" "We didn't capture him." "He allowed us to take him in." "You understand?" "I'm gonna go in." "You shouldn't have woken me." "We had to." "can set us free now." "What makes you think I care?" "Your people need you." "My people?" "You're nothing but shadows of your former selves." "Look how far you have fallen." "The world's changed since your time." "The humans have a new hunter." "Blade." "wouldn't you?" "Yes." "That was everything" "I still take those" "This asshole need new hobbies" "Hopefully not" "Subject is heading west." "Got him." "forensic psychiatrist" "The Whole Being Breakthrough." "Chief of Police. next on Bently Tittle Live." "ok Chief Vreede." "What's your take on all these rumors we've been hearing about vampires?" "don't you think we would've found them by now?" "they should focus in on characters like this Blade criminal." "that's the guy I wanna hear about." "I wanna hear about this character Blade." "What about him?" "He's a sociopath that we've been pursuing." "Blade is a troubled individual." "I understand that he is under the impression that there is a vast conspiracy of vampires." "you've got to look at the psychiatric underpinnings" "Congratulations." "You're famous." "Somebody nailed us." "Your face is all over the papers and television." "Media's eatin' it up." "you should." "Something like this-- taking out a human-- you're public enemy number one." "Didn't know this was a popularity contest." "Blade." "Don't you see what they're doing?" "They're waging a goddamn P.R. campaign. too." "old man." "goddamn it." "Blade." "You're like a son to me." "I'm sorry I got old on ya." "surrounded by enemies." "And it breaks my heart." "We can't win this war alone." "got it!" "Got it!" "Baby on board." "Oh!" "Looks like we got ourselves a combo meal!" "chicky!" "baby!" "What's for dinner?" "Aah!" "pretty lady." "No!" "No!" "No!" "chica." "Aah!" "Fuck you?" "Aah!" "Garlic!" "chica." "Aah!" "What is it?" "What you were worried about." "let's go!" "Shoot to kill!" "Aah!" "Move a finger and you're dead." "How's about this one?" "He's got something in his hand!" "Blade!" "Shit!" "What's going on in there?" "Somebody talk to me!" "Aah!" "don't shoot." "sleepyhead." "FBI." " We've been tracking you a long time." " Mm-hmm." "Whistler." "Dead." "Just like all your victims." "Blade?" "Thirty?" "Forty?" "Fifty?" "182." "But they were all familiars." "People who work with them." "right?" "Blade." "It's not gonna play." "We know what you are." "You're a stone-cold killer." "And you're sick as fuck." "Let's leave the diagnosis to the professionals." "Blade." "My name is Dr. Vance." "I've been charged with giving you a psychiatric evaluation." "would you mind giving us just a couple of minutes alone?" "He's all yours." "I know you must find this very frightening but I want you to know that I'm here to help. okay?" "Do you know what day it is?" "How about the President?" "You know who that is." "An asshole." "But I want to hear you talk about vampires." "What can you tell me about them?" "They exist." "Are you one of them?" "Tell me about blood. do you ever feel sexually aroused?" "Just strikes me that this business of vampirism has a very strong element of sexual confusion." "And I'm wondering what your relationship with your mother was like." "A nocturnal visit." "Were the two of you very close?" "He's psychotic." "No shit." "I'm recommending that he be transferred immediately to County Psychiatric" "Fuck that!" "That man is my prisoner." "He's wanted in connection with a laundry list of federal crimes." "gentlemen." "We're in my jurisdiction now." "you talk to the local magistrate." " That man is my prisoner!" " The call has already been made." "Don't fuck with my thing!" "There's a team from the hospital effecting the transfer immediately." "Chief." "Not this time." "This is just a little something to keep you compliant." "I'll kick it up to a couple thousand." "do ya?" "There." "was it?" "you're weak." "In need of your serum." "That must be a bad feeling." "who would've imagined that a mere human like me could overpower you." "You're one of them." "A familiar." "Going on five years now." "Blade." "All their plans are coming to fruition." "Why don't you just sit back and enjoy the show?" "I hate familiars." "goddamn it." "You're like a son to me." "Sorry I got old on ya." "surrounded by enemies." "It breaks my heart." "Blade." "So glad to finally meet you." "I am such a fan." "I like your tattoos." "Do they mean anything?" "Stupid." "Are you okay?" "Are you tired?" "You're weak." "We moved the humans around." "Like pawns." "We used them to flush you out." "You're not so big." "Blade." "No one's gonna help you now." "ladies." " Hannibal King!" "Blade." "This is your rescue." "Go!" "Freeze!" "Whistler!" "This way!" "Blade!" "You're dead!" "Get down!" "Blade." "whoa!" "Where are you going?" "Where the fuck is he going?" "This is supposed to be a rescue!" "get back!" "We're pinned down." "I can't shoot around corners." "I can." "Aah!" "Okay." "We're fucked." "We're fine." "Forgot my sword." "Whoo!" "Come on!" "Abby." "Aah!" "We got him." "We'll be there soon." "Who the hell are you people?" "my name is Hannibal King." "And this little hellion right here is Abigail." "Whistler's daughter." "I thought the vampires killed Whistler's family." "They did." "I was born later out of wedlock. and I told him I wanted in." "Been doing it ever since." "Welcome to the honeycomb hideout." "How do you bankroll this operation?" "I date a lot of older men." "I'm joking." "You met Dex." "This is Hedges." "Sommerfield-- she's the one who built that new serum inhaler of yours." "that was Sommerfield's daughter Zoe." "We call ourselves the Nightstalkers." "Hmm." "Sounds like rejects from a Saturday morning cartoon." "that was taken." "How many of you are there?" "There's enough." "We operate in sleeper cells." "another cell activates to pick up the slack." "Consider us your reinforcements." "you amateurs are supposed to be helping me?" "You?" "Look at you." "You're kids." "You're not ready to roll with this." "look at the way you're dressed." "that's supposed to be tactical?" "What is this?" "What is that?" ""Fuck you." "huh?" "What the fuck is wrong with y'all?" "Y'all think this is a joke?" "You think this is a fucking sitcom?" "that's just rude." "I'm pretty sure we saved your ass back there." "I'm impressed." "my father meant for us to help you." "we are all you got." "What the hell makes you think you know about hunting vampires?" "here's for starters." "I used to be one." "Do I pass the audition?" "Rookies." "Fucking Hannibal King!" "I should've ripped his bleeding heart out when I had the chance!" "Ugh!" "Ugh!" "We had Blade." "We had him!" "Ugh!" "Asher." "half pint?" "You need a time out?" "Blow me." "We got caught with our pants down." "Pants down?" "They pretty much fucking ass-raped us." "you loved it." "Has he been told?" "About your failure?" "Yes." "Maybe it's time I joined the game." "You know the kind of woman that just screams trouble? but you still manage to ask for her number." "that's all I ever hook up with." "But this betty..." "Whoa!" "She blew 'em all away in the shitstorm sweepstakes." "Her name is Danica Talos." "You met her earlier." "her fangs are located in her vagina." "Moving on. and this walking diaper stain is Jarko Grimwood." "I picked Danica up in a bar and spent the next five years playing hide-and-go-suck as her little vampire cabana boy." "Abigail found me." "and now I kill them." "And that's basically turning a frown upside-down." "Blade." "We"?" "we." "He's come back." "Take a look at this." "You gotta be kidding me." "He is real." "BLADE BABA" "This is a piece of his armor." "we were able to extrapolate a basic idea of what this fucker looked like." "Check this out." "Dracula's only one of the names he's gone by." "and now they call him Drake." "he was born in ancient Sumeria." "but we do know this." "He was the first of his kind." "The patriarch of hominus nocturna." "He was born perfect." "this guy has never had to evolve." "forget the books." "There's no happy ending with this guy. until suddenly just like that he up and disappeared." "And then we heard a rumor." "The vampires were searching for him. that he'd retreated from a world he'd become disgusted with." "they found him in Iraq about six months ago." "And he was pissed." "that's fatal but that's fatal that's fatal but that's fatal that's fatal that's fatal" "In the window..." "You sell vampire merchandise?" "yeah." "Look around." "We might have a few things." "We've got Dracula lunchboxes." "Did you see those?" "key chains." "We've got just about anything." "Even vampire vibrators." "Was there something special you needed?" "guy." "She's talkin' to ya." "What?" "pretty boy?" "Aah!" "No!" "but that's fatal that's fatal that's fatal" "Aah!" "Aah!" "that's fatal" "Why wake up Drake now?" "That's exactly what we've been trying to figure out. there used to be talk about some kind of vampire final solution." "But I could never figure out why they'd want to destroy their food source." "right? Drake's return is part of it." "Let's face it." "We are fighting a losing battle here." "So we kill a few hundred of them a year-- big deal." "maybe tens of thousands." "We need a new tactic." "Like what?" "A biological weapon." "For you sighted people here's a little show and tell." "I've been working with synthesized DNA in order to create an artificial virus targeted specifically at vampires." "We're calling it DayStar." "Blade." "We could wipe 'em all out in one single move." "So what's been holding you back?" "The lethality in vampires is still spotty." "The bottom line is we need a better strand of DNA to work with." "We need Dracula's blood. his DNA is still pure." "It hasn't been diluted by a hundred generations of selective mutation." "we can boost DayStar's viral efficacy to 100%." "All the vampires go bye-bye." "can we just go right ahead and sign you up for one of our secret Nightstalker decoder rings?" "Oh." "Holy shit. we have a wide assortment of ass-kickery for your viewing pleasure today." "Electronic pistol-- comes in a variety of tasty calibers." "Explosive rounds." "but with a concentrated burst of UV light instead of your standard hollow points." "I call 'em sun dogs." "sweetheart." "This little pea shooter-- it's a modified version of the Army's objective individual combat weapon. heat-seeking mini rockets." "this puppy'll pump 'em out." "but..." "God." "um-- we call this the UV Arc." "Whoa." "Sorry." "The two points are connected by a powerful UV laser" "I'll take it from here." " Yes." "This bad boy is half as hot as the sun." "It can cut through vampires like a knife through butter." "We're still trying to sort out fact from fiction when it comes to Dracula." "Turning into mist?" "Kinda doubt it." "General shape-shifting?" "Maybe. could be possible." "Because he wouldn't have a traditional skeletal structure." "with thousands of tiny bones" "Hedges." "Have you ever been laid?" "Many times." "With ladies." "Time for a little pressure." "The weakest link in the vampire chain of command has always been their familiars. they get the humans to do all their dirty work." "We bleed the wannabes... they'll take us right to the real." "I got you some new wheels." "You take care of it now." "She's making playlists." "She likes to listen to MP3s when she hunts." "you know?" "whatever kids are listening to these days." "you know?" "ya'll y'all" "Let me see you say ho" "Let me see you say ho" "Aah!" "Ah!" "Aah!" "your head is gonna pop off." "please!" "Please." "Who's your handler?" "I don't know my fucking handler." "I swear." "I swear!" "shit!" "Please!" "Please!" "it's you." "I'll take that." "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "Hello?" "Hello?" "this is Dr. Vance." "You paged me." "It's for you." "go ahead." "Hello?" "Aah! you might want to consider sitting down with somebody." "You know?" "Have a little share time?" "Kick back?" "Get in touch with your inner child?" "That sort of thing?" "Also-- just a thought-- but you might wanna consider blinking once in a while." "I ate a lot of sugar today." "Hey." "You just can't walk in here like-- aah!" "sir." "Don't do that." "Where's Vance?" "but you can't see Dr. Vance right now." "Sit." "can I help you?" "Remember me?" "Time for payback." "what the hell do you know?" "Jesus." "It's him." "Abby." "It's Drake!" "Aah!" "you're the hunter they all fear." "I had a feeling about you." "Just shoot him!" "Blade." "Show me what you're made of." "Aah!" "my God!" "He got my baby!" "Aah!" "No!" "My baby!" "Daywalker." "I've been told about you." "Your weakness for humans." "Why'd you kill Vance?" "He'd outlived his purpose." "He died a good death." "clean." "I wouldn't know anything about that." "You will." "How are you able to survive in sunlight?" "Haven't you read Stoker's fable?" "I was the first of the vampires." "I am unique." "So that's why they brought you back." "Of course." "They believe through me they could become Daywalkers." "Look at them down there." "Scurrying around like insects. not like you and I do." "Do you think they could ever grasp what it means to be immortal?" "You're not immortal." "I must've heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim." "Each one of them have tasted the end of my sword. you fall before mine." "Catch!" "Cootchie coo." "Did you see that guy?" "man." "We're gonna" "Oh!" "God!" "We're gonna fucking lose!" "whoa." "Hold on." "What are you-- what is that?" "What are you doing?" "okay?" "It's gonna stop the hemorrhaging." "Okay." "Is it gonna hurt?" "it's gonna sting a little." "Really?" "Fuck me!" "Aah!" "I had a family once." "two daughters." "Then a drifter came calling one evening." "A vampire." "He toyed with 'em first." "Tried to make me decide which order they'd die in." "I've been doing this a long time." "Since before you were born." "Abby." "Blade." "I got a question for you." "Say we're successful." "Say we wipe out all the vampires." "huh?" "You ever ask yourself that? l" " I don't picture you teaching karate at the local Y." "doesn't he?" "Yeah." "Why do you do that?" "Because there's something bad inside of me." "This keeps it from getting out." "Why can't you just be nice?" "Because the world isn't nice." "I found where the vampires are working." "Biomedica Enterprises." "They've been buying up all sorts of supplies." "Check it out. genetic sequencing enzymes." "You want a party favor?" "Lucky seven." "Silver hollow points." "Done." "You wanted to see me?" "We've got trouble." "Chief?" "Shit!" "What are you doing here?" "Talk." "Talk." "Spill it!" "You know what we're doing." "What's inside?" "Aah!" "what's behind door number one?" "I can't tell you." "They-- they'll kill me." "I'll kill you." "I'll just enjoy it better." "You know the routine." "Lights." "God in Heaven." "What is this place?" "It's a blood farming facility." "Vampires decided that hunting humans on a piecemeal basis was... too inefficient." "Why kill your prey when you can keep them alive?" "a donor can generate anywhere from 50 to 100 pints of blood." "Productive." "Where do you get all these people?" "They got processing centers in every major city. three million homeless wandering around America?" "They just pull 'em in off the streets." "Nobody cares about them." "really." "Vampire final solution." "Are they aware?" "Do they feel anything?" "They're in a chemical-induced coma." "They're brain dead." "Look at this." "This the future you want?" "Don't you think that they have a place for you in their future?" "We don't have a choice!" "They're going to win." "Can't you see that?" "He's come back!" "There's nothing stopping them now." "There's me." "Go!" "You got 20 seconds." "Twenty." "Shutdown password-- what is it?" "Harvest." "Put it in." "Let's go." "Where'd you go?" "See?" "I turned my back on you." "one more. was very bad indeed." "Having decided to conquer the land of Oz and to destroy the Emerald City..." "This ain't no video game." "This ain't no video game." "now." "you're dead." "the lights are weird." "What do you mean?" "They're going on and off." "Guys?" "okay?" "Like we talked about." "Go on." "Something's not right." "Zoe?" "Whistler." "Use it." "Use it." "Use it." "Aah!" "pooch." "Jesus Christ!" "What the fuck?" "!" "Good dog." "What the fuck?" "!" "His name's Pac-Man." "We've been porting the vampire gene into other species-- experimenting." "You made a goddamn vampire Pomeranian?" "Yeah." "isn't he? this dog has a bigger dick than you." "fuckface?" "Ow!" "I was talking to her!" "Poor King." "You look so distraught!" "Give me that chair." "lover." "Are you getting enough fatty acids in your diet?" "Have you tried lake trout?" "Mackerel?" "How about you take a sugar-frosted fuck off the end of my dick?" "And how about everyone here not saying the word "dick" anymore?" "It provokes my envy." "King." "What's this weapon he's been planning?" "I can tell you two things." "One...your hairdo is ridiculous." "and I just farted." "Silent but deadly." "you fucking fruitcake!" "All right!" "Fuck!" "I'll tell you about the weapon." "It's a new flavor crystal formula." "half the calories." "it helps prevent tooth decay." "There." "King." "I'll give you that." "I know what you really fear." "What would hurt you more than anything else." "do you?" "King." "And I'm gonna leave you here while you turn." "I'm going to watch you day after day as the thirst keeps building and building. when you can't stand it anymore I'm gonna bring the little girl in here for you to feed on." "King?" "Would you enjoy taking her life?" "my pet." "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "I'll be fine." "Don't let it turn inward." "I already has..." "He's one of ours." "My name is Caulder." "I'll be your driver this evening." "Sommerfield left you a video message." "I'm already dead." "okay?" "I've been reading her the Oz books every night." "We just started reading The Emerald City of Oz." "the one with the Nome King?" "I think I've managed to cultivate a workable strain of the DayStar virus." "I transmitted the genetic sequence to Caulder in case our main stock was destroyed." "you're gonna need to interfuse it with Drake's blood." "every vampire in the immediate vicinity should die almost instantly." "There's one other thing." "you need to know too." "l" " I'm not sure if your immune system will be able to tolerate it." "I'm sorry." "We just didn 't have enough time to properly test it." "shall we take a look at the plague arrow?" "I only had time to fabricate a small amount of DayStar." "I was able to outfit it." "A compressed gas projectile that can be shot from one of the four-barrel rifles or a bow." "you must be sure that the shot counts." "You would simply not have enough for a second shot." "Do you know who I am?" "You're the Nome King." "Ah." "The Nome King." "How sweet." "do you want to die?" "I'm not afraid." "I'll go to Heaven." "There is no Heaven." "no angels." "The only thing in your future is nothingness." "But what if you could change that?" "What if you could remain a child forever?" "Wouldn't you like that?" "Wouldn't you accept that gift?" "My friends are coming to kill you." "This blood" "Wake the night!" "It's gonna wake the night" "It's gonna wake the night" "Wake the night!" "This blood" "This blood" "It's gonna wake the night" "This blood" "This blood" "It's gonna wake the night!" " This blood" " Wake the night!" "It's gonna wake the night" " This blood" " Wake the night!" "Wake the night!" "This blood" "This blood" "It's gonna wake the night!" "Gonna be sorry you did that." "Why?" "Kingshit." "Sure they are." "God-- one of the things you fuckheads need to know about us Nightstalkers you get all sorts of groovy little door prizes." "And one of them is this nifty little tracking node surgically implanted in your body." " Bullshit." " Yeah." "when one of us goes missing... they just dial up the satellite which is in space." "And then presto." "Instant cavalry." "huh?" "Go fuck your sister." "King." "Where is this tracking node of yours?" "It's in my left ass check." "Fine." "It's in my right ass cheek." "now." "just below the Hello Kitty tattoo." "just pull down my tighty-whities and see for yourself." "Enough!" "It's not funny anymore!" "you horse-humping bitch!" "But it will be a few seconds from now." "that tickle that you're feeling in the back of your throat right now that's atomized colloidal silver. you cock-juggling thundercunt!" "Which means the fat lady should be singing right about now!" "This is awkward." "Do you have a cell phone?" "Um...a little help here." " Are you all right?" " Yeah." " Where's Zoe?" " Drake's got her." "Okay." "Thank you." "I brought your toys." "Try to keep up." "Aah!" "Abby!" "Hey." "You okay?" "Okay." "Let's get you out of here." "Watch out!" "Fuck me." "fuck me sideways!" "yeah." "aren't ya?" "Good little puppies." "you're gonna stay." "You stay." "Oh." "There's a pretty smile." "Yeah." "uh... dickface." "You seen my dog?" "Have you tried the lobby?" "Thank you." "Fuck..." "King." "...this." "Blade." "Ready to die?" "motherfucker." "Motherfucker." "I like that." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "You broke my arm!" "Aah!" "motherfucker?" "Give it up." "King." "Give it up." "Give it up." "Give it up." "kitten." "I'll get help." "isn't it? when one already exists." "I don't need to survive." "The future of our race rests with you." "You fought with honor." "I respect that." "Allow me a parting gift." "But remember this. the thirst always wins." "Subtitle by Snitch Company®" "yo" "It's the feast of the blood" "Unleash the beast within" "I walk around with the strength of a hundred men" "You best run before I count to ten" "Blood dripping from my canine like a fountain pen" "The shape-shifting mirror image flash phototype the red battle type" "that's fatal but that's fatal that's fatal that's fatal walk with me walk with me walk with me walk with me your descendants" "And I can't be deflected by your silver cross pendants you made the false images" "What's waiting for the sickle?" "You're like the nemesis strike with the force again" "My blood in those who revitalize the corpse I'm in they said the dead would walk again deaf and the dumb will talk again that's fatal that's fatal that's fatal that's fatal" "You don't even know me" "You can't even see me" "Friendlier than daylight now I'm back again baby" "Can't you see I'm thirsty?" "Friends of the daylight my friend baby" "Don't be afraid" "Friends of the daylight and I'm back again" "Never going nowhere" "You can't run from me baby can I drink again?" "Yeah" "Yeah my friend?" "baby baby" "Can't you see I'm thirsty?" "and I'm back again you can't fight the thirst you can't call the nurse" "You got that Louis logo on the side of your purse" "And those tight minis about to make me burst let me sink into your jugular" "Come have a drink with the thirsty love guzzler don't be afraid" "You can't fight the thirst nor escape the plague" "I've been scoping' ya hoping you'd be open to" "Take a sip of the potion 'cause it's overdue it's a special brew" "I will rescue you" "Never going nowhere" "You can't run from me baby can I drink again?" "Yeah" "Yeah my friend?" "baby baby" "Can't you see I'm thirsty?" "and I'm back again" "Allow me a parting gift." "But remember this. the thirst will always win." "and I'm back again"