"♪" "Hey, handsome." "Tosha, I know all your friends think you're sleeping with Denzel Washington, but I can't help that the brother looks like me." "Randy, didn't I just hear you talking to someone ?" "No." "But I suppose this little get-together we're having has something to do with this silly online course that you're taking." "What's it called ?" "Shula-kula, or Shasta Cola or something ?" "Kama Sutra." "Old school." "Shasta Cola isn't even on the market anymore." "The Tantra is about relationships between men and women and their spiritual and physical connection to romance and sexuality." "Look, baby, it's the spiritual art of love, of connecting spiritual and physical form." "Get it ?" "It's experiencing love through the beauty of the earth." "It's about acceptance and not judgment." "It's about compassion." "You know what else it's about, baby ?" "It's about truth within." "Unconditional love." "Either you have been hitting the bottle earlier or you want some new religion." "Well, the Kama Sutra evolved from the" "Tantra and it's not just about religion, baby." "It's about spiritual path." "Well, spirits have definitely been in your path." "What's the Kama Sutra, anyway ?" "Well, ancient Indians believed that sex and survival are the two fundamental forces that drive human existence." "Having sex to survive or... surviving bad sex ?" "No, baby, it's not about good or bad sex, it's about promoting healthy relationships between the sexes." "You think we have time to promote our healthy, intimate relationship ?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, slow down, hot boy." "Listen, baby, tonight is really, really important to me and we're gonna play a little game and the results of tonight will help me with my research paper." "So..." "Cedar ?" "Ooh, I forgot about the food." "Man, this cedar smells like my grandma's old wardrobe." "Hey, girl, it's me, hi." "I only have a couple minutes before this board meeting, but seriously... who would have thought a man's 22 shoe size meant he had a 2-inch pencil and could barely make it past the two-minute mark ?" "Girl, I told you about Devil Douche" "You can't trust those basketball players." "I mean, I would have done better, you know, putting out my Mr. Muscle and renting a Boris Kodjoe flick." "Ooh, Boris Kodjoe." "Mm-mm-mm." "Okay, I'm scared to ask." "What is Mr. Muscle ?" "My new vibrator." "Oh, you are too out there, girl." "Oh, oh, oh, I'm out there ?" "This coming from Ms. Kardashian and Ray J." "Okay, please ." "Oh, you don't remember, you're the one who premiered the Randy and Tosha sex tape last weekend." "Wait a minute, wait, wait" "Oh, you know, you were hitting that bottle pretty hard." "We all came over for our usual girls' night out over at your place." "That I remember." "And then you made us sit down on your big floppy couch and we watched the DVD." "No, wait, wait." "That I don't remember-- what are you talking about ?" "I played you the DVD ?" "One thing I will never forget is 42 inches of HD of Randy and Tosha." ""Basic Instinct" without the ice pick." "Oh, my God." "Randy would ice pick me if he found that out." "Child, there's just one thing I've been wanting" "How were you able to breathe with the way his foot was kind of-- I gotta go, I gotta go- - kind of wrapped" "Hey, Bob." "Sandy." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Are those new glasses ?" "Interesting." "I've got so much information." "I'm gonna make you two look so good." "( doorbell )" "Oh, God." "( knocking )" "I got it, baby." "Okay." "Hey !" "Hey !" "Just like white people, always on time." "And it doesn't hurt that we live right next door." "Hello." "Hey, how you doing ?" "Good." "Oh hey, look at that." "Balance your life." "Elevate your mind." "To you, bring harmony to family, peace and love." "Lavender ?" "No, it's more like-- like a mix of Old Spice and cheap French perfume." "What is that ?" "Century-old potion that brings about harmony to your life." "What's with the incense and the decorations ?" "Oh, we're gonna play a little game tonight, see what everybody thinks about sex, love, happiness and..." "Nice !" "Oh, that sounds interesting." "I got a bottle of vintage wine for the queen of the castle." "Wow, I see that those online courses in wines and vineyards has paid off, right ?" "Oh, you know it." "And for the king of the castle... a majestic offering." "Ah !" "I see those hanging with the brothers in the hood courses are paying off, too." "Andy, I thought you said you were gonna make a salad." "I did." "I had to make Martin go to the store and get some salad." "Hey, you want to help me grab a couple things out of the car ?" "Oh, just like the white man." "Give you a bottle of Crown and you're indebted to him for life." "Go easy on him." "I gotta sit." "Yeah, sit-- oh, Andy." "Yeah, Tosh, you know, they say three is the charm," "I'll tell you, four is a bitch." "I have had so much pressure down there all day today." "Three times, I thought my water was gonna break." "Andy, do you remember last week at our girl's night out, do you remember seeing my sex video ?" "Did I see it-- my God." "Girl, where'd you learn to balance like that ?" "Andy, please tell me that you have it." "The DVD ?" "Yes." "No, why would I have that ?" "Oh, goddammit" " Ahh !" "What ?" "Okay, okay." "What is the matter with you ?" "I'll talk to you inside, just" "I need a moment, I need a moment." "What ?" "Let's go, go inside." "Oh." "No, no, don't." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, what's wrong ?" "Nothing." "Why don't you come help me in the kitchen ?" "She's just freaking demanding in the bedroom, dude." "She's like a god damn drill sergeant." "Up, down, up, down." "What are you laughing about ?" "She's not funny, man, I got to beg her to be quiet." "I got kids in the house." "Yeah, Martin, how long has Andrea been wearing the pants in the family, huh ?" "Really ?" "Yeah, I said no." "I think Gabby took it with her." "Oh..." "God." "Take it easy." "What's the big deal ?" "So Randy finds out that your raunchy video went mainstream." "Randy doesn't know we have a raunchy video." "Tosh !" "Ooh, you dirty bitch !" "And to top all that, I really need to gain some insight from this game that we play tonight in order for me to finish this research paper in time." "Don't worry about it, okay ?" "I got your back, girl, don't worry about it." "Listen to me-- listen, listen." "You gotta be cool." "You cannot let Randy see you freaking out." "All right ?" "All right." "Now help me go get on that couch." "Grab those cookies." "Another Crown ?" "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." "I gotta swing by the lab." "Swing by the lab ?" "Martin, you promised..." "not again." "I'll be gone two hours, tops." "That's my husband:" "over-dedicated to his job, but not his pregnant wife and three kids." "( Tosh ) No, no, no, love, remember." "Balance your life, elevate your mind." "To you bring harmony of family, love and peace." "I am a chemist." "There's always an experiment to monitor, there's a" "You know, all this time that you spend at the office, what you're doing is you're testing the experiment that is our marriage." "I said, balance your life, elevate your mind, to you, bring harmony, family, love and peace !" "Okay." "The prophet says, the body and the soul are bonded together, so the body and the environment are linked together as well." "Okay ?" "All right." "Fine, whatever." "Do what you do." "Oh." "Martin." "I'd be in trouble, too, if I didn't set Tosha straight." "You ever see "The Color Purple" ?" "Well, there's a secret word to making women do what you want, and it ain't "Mister."" "He's always gone." "He's leaving me with the kids all the time," "I'm just sick of it." "Oh, come on, don't stress, baby." "Tonight is about having fun." "( doorbell )" "Oh, let me get that." "Hi !" "Hey, Tosha." "Gabby !" "How are you, you look great." "Thank you." "This is my friend Miles, Miles, this is Tosha." "She's the lady of the house." "What it do, Ma ?" "I" " Don't I know you from somewhere ?" "I" " I think I've seen you..." "Um, Tosha." "I'm sorry." "Balance your life, elevate your mind." "To you, give harmony to peace love and happiness." "Hey, you're getting that on my new Mariah fragrance." "What is that, anyway ?" "It smells like vanilla." "Actually it smells like bubble gum." "I can't even smell my cologne anymore." "Tonight's party theme, we are gonna explore sexuality, love and romance and this is gonna help." "Wow." "Sexuality." "The place looks really nice." "Smells good and everything, que rica." "Thank you." "Listen, I" " I gotta take this call." "Can you put this on the table for me ?" "Thank you." "( spraying )" "Come in." "Gabby, did I just hear you call that young man, "baby" ?" "Only because from here, he actually looks like one." "Ha, ha, hello to you, too." "Wow." "Oh my God." "So, Gabby, on our last girls' night here ?" "Did I let you borrow my sex video ?" "Mamita, you know what y'all were doing is outlawed in other countries." "I mean, how the hell did Randy get so flexible ?" "So do you have it ?" "No, no." "Oh." "So Gabby, what's up with the little tyke ?" "That young man is my boyfriend." "Right, so let me guess." "You told him you were 39 ?" "Seven." "So I guess 45 is now the new 37." "You know damn well you haven't seen 37 in almost a decade." "And girlfriend, what is this ?" "What ?" "Is that from your daughter's closet ?" "You like my boots ?" "What does she think about you dating a boy that's just four years older than she is ?" "Por favor, we went to the club the other night on a double date." "Oh, my God, not only are you robbing the cradle, but you're taking it clubbing, too ?" "Look, I didn't come here so y'all could give me a hard time." "I just wanted y'all to meet him and be happy for me." "Listen, you guys, I need to find this DVD." "What about Kim ?" "I asked her already, she doesn't have it." "What's the big deal anyway ?" "You can barely see your faces." "It's the other body parts that I'm worried about." "Look, don't worry." "Continue with your night." "Stick to your plans." "You've got that paper due." "Sweetie, you've got to stay focused." "Yeah." "Yeah." "As soon as everyone arrives, we'll figure out where the movie is." "Randy will never find out, okay ?" "Excuse me, ladies." "Here you go, Mami." "Gracias, Papi." "Ah, te quiero mucho." "Y yo a ti." "Oh, he is right to call you "Mommy."" "Cut it out before he hears you." "Excuse me, young man, I didn't get your name." "I'm Randy, Tosha's husband." "Oh, cool, nice to meet you, I'm Miles." "Martin-- what's up ?" "Not much, being easy, man." "True dat, true dat, I am doing the same." "That's my wife Andrea over here." "She-- she be easy, too." "Wow." "What do you do, man ?" "Oh, what do I do ?" "I'm learning to invest, invest my money." "Oh, smart." "Do you talk with a financial analyst, like at Schwab or Merrill Lynch ?" "Nah, I'm meeting with my financial professor... yeah, over at GSU." "GSU ?" "Yes." "You're a college student." "Yeah." "So what are you, 20, 21, tops ?" "No, I'm 25." "Yeah, I'm a grad student." "So where'd you meet Gabby ?" "Ah, Gabby." "She's hot, right ?" "She's beautiful." "Yeah." "Well, you know, one night, I needed to get out, you know." "I had a long work week, you know." "You mean-- you mean schoolwork ?" "Right, right." "Gotcha." "So you know, I crept in this place." "The music was bangin', you know, everybody's having a good time, socializing." "But I wanted to lay back." "You know, peep the spot out for places to post up, you know ?" "Of course." "You know, for the rest of the night." "And there she was, man." "She's looking good at the bar waiting on a drink." "Gabby." "Gabby." "So before she had a chance to pull out her wallet and pay for her drink," "I whipped out the plastic, you know ?" "Instantly." "And I'm like, "No, let me, I insist."" "She was so excited, you know Gabby." "She's like, "Oh gracias, Papi."" "And you know I'm like, "It's nada ."" "You know, "nada."" "Right, right, right, right, right" "You know, in Spanish, that means it's nothing, you know what I mean ?" "So we sat there, you know, and we talked and chatted until about, I say 11:00, when the place closed." "A hopping club closed at 11:00 ?" "Club ?" "We were at Starbucks." "Yeah." "The coffee place." "Yeah." "It's a great place to meet the ladies." "And free Internet, too." "Right." "Wow." "Y'all gotta step your game up." "Y'all are married, right ?" "Y'all" " You don't know--?" "I gotta get in the game." "Right." "And those cards ?" "What ?" "Gift cards come in handy." "Starbucks." "Yeah." "You want something else to drink ?" "Apparently a macchiato of some sort." "Apparently." "There's a Starbucks on the corner, right ?" "( laughing )" "( Miles ) Gabby, Gabby, Gabby." "Wow." "You need-- Yeah." "Did she move or paint her house ?" "Dr. Simmons , I know you got your eye on me now." "There it is." "Oh boy, she pretty." "Never quit." "Are you okay ?" "I'm fine." "Kind of a strange place to put a curb." "I've never seen parking like that before." "Oh, I'm James Brown." "That's your name ?" "As the Godfather of Soul." "Hey !" "Hey." "And you are ?" "I'm Liz Simmons, as in godmother of all things holy." "Shonda." "( door bell ringing )" "Hey, guys." "Hey, girl." "Hi." "Oh girl, you gotta get that driveway fixed." "What are you talking" "Don't ask." "I brought something for tonight's special occasion." "Well, so did I." "Hot damn, that smells like new leather." "And I'm a loner." "I don't bring sand to the beach." "Okay." "Oh, Gabby." "Oh my God, look at you." "How long has it been ?" "Oh, don't you look beautiful." "How are you and the boys doing ?" "These last two years have been pretty trying to say the least." "Oh, with my beloved Reverend Dr. Simmons ascending into heaven, the rightful place next to his father." "My boys going off to school, on their own." "Wow." "Well, I've gotten closer to my father." "My savior." "Oh, my Jesus Christ." "He is my alpha and my omega." "My beginning and my end, but for his grace." "Ooh, I would not be here, I praise him." "Ooh, I praise him, Lord, ♪ I love the Lord" "♪ He heard my cries" "Oh, Jesus, glory, thank you God almighty !" "Hello." "Oh, thank you." "Hey, James." "Hey, Andrea." "Look like you about to have that knucklehead any moment now." "Oh yeah, trying to kick its way out as we speak." "Gabby." "You look as lovely as ever." "So you ready to take a brother out ?" "Yes, with my 9mm, but it's illegal." "Why do you keep fighting ?" "You know you want this." "Fellas." "Oh." "Ah-ah !" "That had better be holy water." "Be come spraying me with no foolishness." "Well, it's not holy but it's definitely spiritual." "Balance your life, elevate your mind." "To you give harmony to family, love and peace." "Now you're gonna have me smelling like Red Hots." "You gotta excuse her, Liz." "She's a little on edge." "What's wrong ?" "Randy and I made a sex video and me and the ladies watched it last week and now I can't find it." "Oh, dear Jesus in heaven, bless this child." "Randy's sure gonna bless her once he finds out, de verdad ." "Randy doesn't know ?" "Oh dear Lord, please show this woman the error of her ways." "What the hell are you doing making a sex tape ?" "Well, I was taking an online course." "I thought it would be fun for us to have our own movie." "Well, where's the last place you saw it ?" "Here, in our ladies' night last week." "And neither of you two took it ?" "No." "What about Kimberly ?" "You know, I wouldn't put it past that bitch." "Watch your mouth." "Just saying." "Look, Kim definitely doesn't have it." "Are you sure Randy doesn't have it ?" "Trust me, if Randy had it, I would know it." "I just hope and pray that he doesn't find it before I do." "Well, you should be in here tearing this house up looking for that thing." "I am, but I just don't want Randy to think that something is going on so we have got to be discreet." "Discreet ?" "You should have been discreet." "Making that old sin-filled sex movie." "Why don't you just be honest and just tell Randy ?" "Bitch, are you crazy ?" "I'm just saying." "I mean, you're already in enough trouble." "You might as well cut your losses." "Oh..." "Ooh !" "Whose little cute nephew is that ?" "He's my date." "Your date ?" "That baby ain't nothing but about 20 years old." "He's 25." "Okay, and you're 45." "Oh my God, you're over here making these sex movies and you're dating Nickelodeon." "Oh Lord, I've been gone too long." "The devil done moved up in this house." "He's my man and I'm his woman." "What's the big hoopla ?" "We're just dating, having fun." "Y esta buenissimo en la cama." "What does that mean ?" "That means they have good sex." "I am thirsty." "Drink this." "Tosha, there better not be any alcohol in this." "You know I don't let that sin penetrate my lips." "Something penetrated your lips." "You got two boys." "( laughing )" "I'm gonna say a special prayer for you." "You better be lucky I'm saved." "Drink up, girl, drink up." "Mm-hmm." "Oh, I gotta swing by the lab, guys." "I got a project producing catalysts for use in production." "The way you jumped up, look like you about to meet a nice piece of tail." "What ?" "No." "No, not a woman." "It's a computer, filled with data." "I'll be back in a little while." "Hey, Andy will have a shit fit if she sees me leaving." "You care if I slip out the back door ?" "You gonna sneak out without telling your wife ?" "Man, she gonna slide your ass on the couch when you get home tonight." "No, she'll be fine." "Why don't you just try telling Andrea the truth ?" "It works for Tosha and I." "I'm gonna take my chances with the backdoor." "Okay, my friend, it must be important because I've seen you coming and going all hours of the night." "No, I'm busy." "I hope your couch is really comfortable." "Oh, hey, man." "I'm James Brown." "I'm Miles Whittaker." "Nice to meet you, sir." "Hi." "Miles here is with Gabby." "My Gabby ?" "Oh, you must be with her daughter." "Terry's friend." "Actually, I'm her date, Mr. Brown." "No." "Yeah." "Ah." "You can't be no more than, what, 20 ?" "25, sir." "Oh." "Oh, yeah, I gotta go." "I'll be back." "Okay." "Yeah, okay." "( Andy ) Where could he be going ?" "Listen, you're pregnant, you do not need this, okay ?" "No, I don't need this." "But that makes absolutely no sense." "Listen, Andy, the quicker he leaves, the faster he'll return, okay, relax." "It's fine, it's fine, I got you, okay ?" "Oh, stop spraying me with that wit that rosewater and quit chanting." "There is no balance in my life." "I am like a frickin' psycho right now." "There is no harmony, there is no peace, and I have questionable love, or maybe you haven't noticed." "Okay then, damn." "( Jeff ) You always give me a hard time." "I'm not doing this with you, Jeff." "No, no, no, stop, don't interrupt me." "Do not" "No, you've had three months." "We've been divorced for three months." "Get your shit out of my house, please." "You're always giving me a hard time, you know that ?" "You should have made the time, okay ?" "You should have made the time." "You're just doing this to fuck with me." "You have 30 days to get your shoes, your pants, your cufflinks, your little gadgets, all that shit, I want it out, I want it out !" "Yo, yo, yo, whatever." "Or I swear, I will go Angela Bassett in "Waiting to Exhale" on your ass." "Hush." "Try me !" "( Jeff laughing )" "What was that about ?" "Man, I opened my heart up to Gabby, man, and" "And she took a bite out of it." "Yeah." "You know, in the Tantra, I was told that sexuality is total." "It's full of bliss." "It's not about sex." "Man, what are you talking about ?" "It's obvious that Gabby and that boy are fucking like jackrabbits, but maybe, just maybe, she's falling in love, too." "You sound like Oprah, but you look like Ali Baba." "( laughing )" "Do I have a choice ?" "Thanks, man." "You got it." "Just let it go." "God, Jesus." "He's not answering." "Who, Martin ?" "No, the Pope." "Yeah, Martin." "( Gabby ) Andy, quit nagging already." "I mean, maybe Martin needed a break from you." "Oh shut up, Nanny McPhee." "Isn't it time for his nap ?" "Tosha, can you please get me some more punch." "Girl, you put your foot in that." "Sure thing." "( Kimberly) Oh, ugh." "Damn girl, don't you know how to knock ?" "Oh you know what, don't even, don't even start with me, okay ?" "I just had to hike past three houses 'cause some beat-up rusty old Volkswagen is parked in my spot." "Hey, that's my first car." "I am trying to build my credit." "Okay..." "Who is that and why is he talking to me ?" "Seriously ?" "And Gabby, why the hell are you hugged up with someone who looks like he's half your age ?" "Because he's my boyfriend." "Oh, God, Oh, God, please." "I can't take any more high drama today." "Tosha, ome on, honey." "Make your girl something strong and hard." "Please, now, please." "Guys, I'm so" "I'm just so done." "I am just so over Jeff, he is so pompous." "( Andy ) What's he done now ?" "Finding ultra-creative ways to piss me off." "If I don't ever see him again, it'll be too soon." "Okay, pass that to her." "Give it to me." "And here you are, Madame." "Why the hell do you look like Florida Evans ?" "( Tosha ) Oh, we're gonna play a little game tonight in accordance to this course that I'm taking." "Kama Sutra." "I'm just waiting for everybody else to get here." "Okay, well, everyone's here." "Okay, here we go." "Oh !" "Balance your life, elevate your mind." "To you, bring harmony to family, love and peace." "Oh, smells like new money to me." "You would say that." "What's her problem ?" "Martin." "Oh, out of town again, huh ?" "So, sweetie, what's your name ?" "His name is Miles." "Gabby." "It looks like he has a mouth, I think he can speak for himself, okay ?" "So how old are you ?" "25." "25, huh." "Good year." "I have a Prada stilettos older than you." "Well, I guess the devil really does wear Prada." "( laughing )" "It's really sad, you know." "You're that desperate that you have to date a teen." "You should know desperate." "Didn't Jeff leave your trifling ass behind ?" "Please." "( Tosh ) Hey-- hey, hey, hey, hey." "Play nice, ladies, okay ?" "Leave it to Kim to go for the jugular." "Oh." "Honey, don't even start with me, knocked up, okay ?" "I'm surprised Martin even had time to get your little self pregnant, seeing that he's always working, huh ?" "Oh, do not go there with me, bitch, 'cause I am in no mood for your bougie ass tonight." "Okay, this is getting good." "( Tosh ) Okay, okay !" "Enough, enough." "And take it easy, okay ?" "You're gonna end up having a miscarriage." "She better keep my man's name out of her mouth." "You better keep your finger out of my face and put a pretzel in it." "Oh, shut up." "Listen, listen, shh !" "Just peace, love !" "Happiness !" "Bitch." "( Kim ) Slut." "Y'all are rowdy." "Is it like this all the time ?" "Papi, you ain't seen nothing yet." "( clicking )" "What the hell are you doing ?" "I'm trying to get the score from the games." "The only game I'm concerned about is what that boy is playing with my Gabby." "All right, all right, I know what you're gonna say, okay, I know it, Tosha, but that bitch, she started it." "Well, which bitch is that, because apparently, we're all bitches to you and you seem to be the only one in bitch mode." "All right, look, I'm sorry, okay ?" "I'm sorry, but I'm stressed, Tosha." "Jeff keeps wiggling his way back into my life, leaving stuff in my house purposefully just so he'll have an excuse to just pop back in there." "I'm just" " It's a lot." "You're stressed." "Yeah." "You said you were stressed." "Can't you see it ?" "I've got a friend out there who's dating the boy from the "Karate Kid" remake." "I've also got a friend out there who's pregnant whose husband continues to dip out on her." "Let's not forget about my friend who's the freakin' Jesus freak." "And I also have a friend who cares more about her feelings than anybody else's." "Not to mention..." "Not to mention..." "Okay." "that I have a research paper that's due in two days that still sits incomplete, which, by the way, is the reason why I'm giving this little get-together in order to play a game based on love and happiness" "when there's not one, not one little ounce of-- shred of love or happiness coming from this household !" "You know what ?" "And I also have to come to grips with the fact that there is a movie, a sex video, a tape of me and my husband just floating around out there somewhere in cyberspace." "I don't know where it is, and you're telling me that you're stressed ?" "Oh, God." "Look at me, look at me." "Look at me, look at me." "Give me that !" "Okay, I'm just trying to get you to calm down." "It's too much, Tosha." "You're gonna wear yourself out, okay ?" "What is this on my forehead ?" "It's driving me nuts." "I have no idea and it's awful, it does not even go with this whole ensemble." "( Andy ) So no luck, huh ?" "You sure you looked everywhere ?" "I took the DVD." "Why ?" "I don't know, it was there and I wanted to see it again." "Kind of see if maybe you knew moves that I didn't know." "Oh, that's got to be the stupidest way you could have answered that question." "Okay, it's fine." "So where's the DVD now ?" "I don't know." "Now, that's the stupidest way you could have answered that question." "I think one of my daughters maybe got a hold of it," "I drilled them, asked them and they said they didn't have it." "You know, they promised me they didn't have it," "I searched the house up and down." "Gabriella, Gabriella, wait" " Shh !" "Gabriella, just give me a moment !" "But I couldn't find it." "So you're telling me that you stole my DVD and then you left it where your teenage daughters could find it and then you lost it all because you didn't want to ask me to use it ?" "Because you know what ?" "Had you asked me to use it, I would have simply said no." "You know what ?" "I'm lost for words." "How about that ?" "Calm down, calm down." "I'm lost for words." "She gave it to her teenage daughters." "I know, I know." "Her teenage daughter saw it." "I know, I know." "What, did she put it on her little Twitter account ?" "You know what ?" "This doesn't surprise me, Gabriella." "This doesn't surprise me." "So you forgive me ?" "I wish..." "I wish that I could have you fucking deported right now." "Do you know what's gonna happen if Randy finds out..." "Hey, mami, that's harsh." "about that movie ?" "Tosha, calm down, Tosha." "Oh my God, oh my God." "Count to ten, count to ten." "Oh my God." "Listen, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, you cannot have her deported, okay, okay ?" "You could kill her, which I would do." "I know people." "I'm sorry, Tosha." "You're sorry, you're sorry." "I think we are so far past an apology, Gabby." "I mean, like I said before, you can barely tell." "You can't even see the faces of who's in the movie." "( Miles ) Right, you can only ass and tits." "Quick question." "How did you get both arms and legs over your" "You let this boy see my movie ?" "No, no !" "Nah, nah, shorty, listen, listen." "She didn't let me see anything." "Calm down, it's not even that serious." "You can't even see your face." "Well, how'd you see it, boy toy ?" "Look, I saw it online." "Oh !" "Oh, God, oh, God !" "( mouthing a prayer )" "Get me a wet rag, get me a wet rag." "Somebody get me a wet rag, wet the towel." "I'm busy." "( Kim ) Use the spray." "( Gabby ) I shouldn't have done that." "( Kim ) Stop... yeah, wipe her down, wipe her down." "You're drunk, Liz." "No, I do not drink." "You don't drink ?" "No, that's like..." "Well, what's in that glass you've been sipping on for two days?" "( Tosh ) Randy's gonna hear, Randy's gonna hear." "Tosha, baby, snap out of it." "Tosha, Tosha." "Baby, answer me." "Tosh." "You see what you did ?" "Randy's gonna divorce me." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no." "No, no, no, no." "Randy loves you." "Now, he might not love seeing what God blessed him with on the computer screen." "God did bless him, right ?" "Anyway, he ain't gonna leave you, baby." "I got the word here." "A little something for the occasion." "( Kim ) Listen." "Randy is not gonna find out, okay ?" "We're gonna make sure that he doesn't get on the Internet, all right ?" "And you're gonna make some calls and get this thing taken down, okay, okay." "( Andy ) Doesn't he have an iPhone ?" "Oh, oh, oh, I'll get it, I'll get it." "Liz, be subtle." "About as subtle as the Holy Spirit whispering in your ear." "( Kim ) Oh Lord, you need to put that drink down." "You know, you ain't been to church in a hot minute." "Listen, we're gonna get everybody together, okay ?" "Tosh, we're gonna play this little game of yours, all right ?" "And that way you can make sure that Randy doesn't get on the Internet, all right, okay ?" "But you have got to get out of this funk, all right, or else he's gonna suspect something." "Tosha, do you hear me ?" "Yes, yes, you're right, you're right, you're right." "I just have to keep him distracted." "I could have it taken down in the morning, right ?" "Yeah." "( Andy ) Yeah, yeah." "Okay..." "Okay, listen to me, Gabby." "Go to my bedroom and disconnect the Internet." "Okay." "Please." "All right." "Man, I ain't no player hater." "The hell does that mean ?" "It means that he's not a snitch, he's not gonna rat you out." "Right...." "I feel you, Ma." "That means "yeah."" "Oh, God." "( clicking )" "Liz, what are you doing ?" "Tosha needs your phone." "Tosha has a phone." "The Bible says as the man of the house, when your wife says she needs your phone, you don't ask no questions, you just give it to her." "Liz, what is going on ?" "Give me back my phone." "No questions." "No questioning." "You got it, you got it ?" "Okay, good." "( Tosh ) Oh my God." "Okay, you ready ?" "Okay." "You ready ?" "Yeah." "Focus on me." "Okay, here we go." "Jazz hands." "Jazz hands." "Okay." "Let's do it." "We're good." "( Kim ) All right..." "Got it, girl, got it." "Should we do a toast first, maybe ?" "You don't need any more toasting." "Look at-- you are toasted." "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah !" "That is my special blend." "Your special blend ?" "You're just jealous." "Your special blend has you jacked up." "Whatever, Tosha made this for me 'cause she loves me more than she loves you." "Baby, you still have my phone ?" "Yeah, baby, yeah." "We're about to start the game." "You can't use your phone anyway." "Okay, so the game is called the Great Divide." "So why the Great Divide ?" "Because it deals with love, sex, romance and such between the genders." "I heard love and sex, so let's continue." "( doorbell )" "Oh, let me get that." "It better be Martin." "I thought everybody was here." "Okay." "I need a refill." "Anybody... anybody ?" "So y'all gonna leave me hanging ?" "You don't need anymore." "Okay." "Hey." "Baby, who is it ?" "Jeff." "Jeff as in Kimberly's ex-husband, Jeff, and he has the gall to bring some hussie with him ?" "Tosha, calm down." "I told him last week about the engagement and he said he was gonna be out of town." "Hey, man." "Hey, Tosha." "Randy." "My goodness." "Come on." "Hi." "Hi." "This is my very, very good friend, Evelyn Vasquez." "This is Tosha and Randy Landry." "How you doing ?" "You wouldn't know that, 'cause she closed the door in our faces." "Well, Jeff has told me so much about you guys." "Well, I made you guys some taquitos, they're handmade." "They're really good." "So good, so good." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Balance your life, elevate your mind." "Give harmony to you" "Oh, whatever." "After you, please." "Balance your mind ?" "What the hell was that about ?" "I thought you said you were gonna be out of town." "Well, trip got canceled, so I'm here." "Who's that ?" "I know." "It's hard." "Hey, hi." "It's a pleasure to meet you all, especially you, Kim." "( laughing )" "I can't say I feel the same." "Okay, so... everybody." "( spraying )" "Why don't we balance our lives, elevate our minds." "To you, give harmony to family, love and peace." "You know, the more you spray that, it smells like lotus blossoms in the spring." "I detect a hint of musk." "( Kim ) That's so interesting, because I detect a scent, too." "And it smells awful like shit." "Okay, Randy, why don't you go and escort Jeff and Evelyn over to our bar so they can partake in spirits." "( Randy ) Sure thing." "Thank you, baby." "Kim, relax." "Calm down." "No drama." "Okay, okay, I'm fine." "Please !" "Okay, fine." "I'm trying to elevate stuff." "You know, had I known his trifling ass was gonna be here," "I wouldn't have come." "But I can handle this, okay ?" "I'm fine." "If he was my man, I would have kicked her ass." "Well, that's his ex, right ?" "Still." "The last thing you want to do is piss off a woman." "Hell knoweth no fury like a woman scorned." "( Miles ) But why kick her ass ?" "'Cause I save my bullets for him." "You'd shoot the boy ?" "Like a rabid dog." "( Andy ) You seen "Old Yeller" ?" "Woof, woof, woof." "Papi, you have nothing to worry about, okay ?" "Jeff is a piece of shit." "And you're a good man." "Randy, can you start the music, please, baby ?" "Okay, Evelyn, I'll need you to stand by Gabriella and Jeff, I need you to stand over by Randy." "Okay." "The object of this game is for men to challenge women with a clear definition of the statements that are written on these marked cards in the basket." "( Andy ) That sounds like fun." "I'm sure it does... south of the border." "Kim." "I didn't know she spoke Spanish." "So Tosha, does this game have anything to do with the lavender -- you've been doing all night ?" "Smell like  Red Hots to me." "I smelled vanilla." "( Kim ) Oh, please, y'all are tripping." "That smells like new money." "I could have sworn it smells like bubble gum." "Did I hear you say bubble gum ?" "Yeah, that's what I smell." "We both know why, don't we, J ?" "Well, if you must know, this potion is from another country." "The purpose of this potion is to bring out the true character through smell, and obviously, all of you have smelled something different." "Okay, so back to the game." "You will noticed different colored numbers as you're picking." "The blue numbers are questions and statements that relate to feelings men have about women." "And the pink numbers represent the feelings that women have towards men." "The purple numbers represent the statements of sex, love, romance and happiness." "The group with the most amount of points at the end of the game will be considered as the stronger sex." "So, who goes first ?" "Well, let's start with the weakest link, my man Miles." "Honestly." "( Kim ) Oh." "See, you're already off to a bad start." "He's not your weakest link." "Okay, so what number did you pick ?" "Seven." "Dip into the pink basket, pick a card and read it." ""Men tend to be the needy ones in a relationship."" "Now that's fake, I don't believe that, 'cause speaking from experience, the women that I've dated tend to be way more needier than myself." "They always want to know where you been, who you're with, why can't I come with you." "And that's because they young and dumb." "I know some old and dumb ones act that way, too." "Miles, are you saying I'm needy ?" "Aw, come on." "It's just that I feel like some women think that their man should spend all the time with them." "That ain't what's up." "I didn't make you come tonight." "You could have hung out with your little friends." "Why do all men's friends have to be little like we're still little boys ?" "Oh, please, come on." "It's not our fault you guys still want a nipple to suck on." "Jeff is no longer a little boy anymore." "He grown up, divorced you and moved out." "Yeah, yeah, little boy Jeff did move on, but here's the thing." "Jeff can't distinguish between a mother and a woman, especially when it comes to a nipple to suck on." "Ooh." "You often acted like my mother, because you got serious issues, and I would know, because I'm a professor with a PhD." "Oh my gosh, how could I forget Mr. Scholarly person ?" "And I'm sorry, is this what, your" "Your foreign exchange student, que ?" "Okay, so the men have been awarded seven points because of Miles' explanation." "( Randy ) Yeah, Miles." "Great start to an easy victory." "( Liz ) Whoa, whoa." "It's ladies turn, ladies turn." "Okay." "( Kim ) You got it, get it ?" "Okay, all right." "Okay." ""Men are extremely jealous."" "Oh, hell no." "Oh, hell yeah." "You guys are possessive by nature." "Martin's always asking me when I'm on the phone," ""Who you talking to ?"" "When we go shopping, somebody asks a question, he feels like he has to answer all the questions himself and it's like he's trying to keep me away from other men." "( James ) Stupid." "Women are more jealous than men." "All we have to do is glance at a woman and they got something to say." "Now see, James, that antiquated attitude right there, that's why a woman ain't glanced at you in about a decade." "( laughing )" "( Tosh) Okay, Andy, you got one minute left, baby." "Okay, all right." "So to sum things up, men think that it's manly to be possessive and jealous and make that apparent, but you all just look like big, silly fools in the end." "( clapping )" "Nice, sweet playin'." "Here we go... my turn." "All right, fellas ?" "Ah." ""Men feel that women are more concerned" ""with a man's earning power and social position than love and happiness."" "Well, it shouldn't really matter how much you make if you look this good." "I can be happy until the right person finally comes along." "Well, he's not gonna ride up on a white horse or a school bus in your case, Gabby." "Basically marriage is as respectable as paid work, so basically, we're just" "What are we doing, ladies ?" "We're doing our job." "That's right." "That's right." "Women used to bring more to a relationship than fake boobs and head full of horse hair." "They used to bring emotional support and insurance that the kids they bore were his." "I actually have to disagree with the ladies on this one." "Here she goes." "Wait." "I believe that a woman should follow her heart and not just marry a man for his checkbook." "I mean, gold-digging is so '90s." "Backdoor prostitution is what it is." "Oh, really, backdoor prostitution ?" "Well then you know what ?" "Then you should owe me money from that weak-ass divorce." "If we did charge, we'd have to charge $50 a minute, 'cause they can't last more than a minute-and-a-half." "Speak for yourself." "I'd be coughing up thousands." "( murmuring )" "♪" "Whoa !" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa !" "Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh !" "It looks like we've got a tight one going on here." "( doorbell ) It's close." "Oh, let me get the door." "( laughing )" "( Randy ) We got a tight one." "( Kim ) I said what ?" "Hey, hey, hope I didn't miss much... hey." "Where were you, where the hell have you been ?" "I knew you weren't coming right back." "I went to work." "Where were you ?" "I told you I went to work, come on." "For two fucking hours ?" "Yeah, I was busy." "Where-- for two hours, I do not buy it." "You are full of shit." "Yo, Speedy Gonzales." "It's none of your business anyway." "I don't even know why you're even here." "All right." "Kim, what's the problem ?" "J-E-F-F." "Look, you know something ?" "You've always given me a hard time, you know that ?" "And that shit you're doing with my clothes, that's just plain ridiculous." "Yeah, that was pretty stupid." "Why would you burn good quality clothes ?" "Obviously you need the money." "Excuse me, what was that ?" "What did you just say to me ?" "Obviously, you need the money." "Oh, really ?" "Sweetie, no, I don't need the money and at least I know about quality." "You run around here with that tired old piece of the motherland." "Okay, yeah, why don't you and your little taquitos roll up out of here ?" "Mira , it's pronounced "taquito," just for me." "Hey, hey, hey, hey-- All right" " Kim !" "You know what ?" "You little prostitute." "I don't need to know how it's pronounced." "Prostitute ?" "Yeah." "All right, with your tutu on right now." "Oh honey, with your little" "Really" " I don't know what that little" "What you wear, what you wear !" "Look, look, Evelyn-- Evelyn" "What is that, what is that ?" "Hey, hey, hey-- callate !" "Kim, please, I don't want to hear it." "I don't want to hear it." "( yelling )" "Take your geisha girl and her two-for-one dress outta here." "Fine, fine." "Are you serious ?" "Your toes need to catch up with your shoes, honey." "Okay, you know what, that's it, I'm getting my A and my $200 from you by tomorrow, if not, I'm telling the dean everything." "Everything." "You were paying her, man ?" "Oh man, I'm gonna have to confiscate your player's card." "No more freebies for you, okay ?" "What ?" "No, no, crazy lady." "Tell your broke-ass husband to stay away from our club, how about that ?" "Take care of him at home, mami ." "Broke ass ?" "Did you just" "Oh !" "Okay, all right, all right, whoa !" "All right, all right, all right !" "We're going, we're going !" "Goodbye, we're going !" "All right, we're going, bye !" "All right, all right, all right !" "Hey, hey, hey, hey !" "Coffee, coffee !" "Great time." "( Liz ) Don't you bring her back here again." "Don't you bring her back here again." "I'll Pray for you !" "Go !" "No, you bring me over here" "Evelyn, Evelyn, Evelyn." "Evelyn, you're an educated woman." "I'm done-- no, I'm done and I want my $200." "Get in the car, please." "I'm done." "Open the fucking car door?" "It's open, it's open." "Stop cursing." "Some bullshit ass got me over here, getting my ass whipped" "Okay, everybody, back in the living room." "Martin, who was that ?" "I have no idea." "( Randy ) Okay, everybody back in the room." "You have no idea ?" "I have no idea." "Why does she think she knows you like that ?" "I look like a lot of people." "I can't believe this..." "Babe, please, please." "Martin, I swear to God." "Everybody back in the living room, please." "This whole night..." "All right." "Tss, tss, hey, where are you going ?" "Gabby, I" "I can't do this with you." "This is how it is ?" "I can't handle this." "Gabby, I'm not lying to you anymore." "You know what, I'm 19." "Goddamn, I knew his ass wasn't no 25." "19 ?" "You've been lying to me this whole time ?" "No, you been lying to me this whole time." "In here flirting with Eddie Kane, Jr." "Y'all motherfuckers crazy, man." "Eddie Kane ?" "You sitting up here, you're talking about whipping ass and shooting people." "We're done." "Enanito de mierda, mamon." "You can't even handle this." "That's what I'm talking about." "Yeah ?" "You got this gold-digger right here, this crazy-ass white chick, not to mention your manslaughtering ass, drunken Jesus freak and a straight-up freak." "What the fuck you just say ?" "No." "If I were you, I would check all those porn sites right now, 'cause your wife probably fucked every Kama Sutra in the business." "What ?" "Everybody, just" "Balance your life." "Elevate your mind." "Fuck this shit, you adolescent motherfucker !" "Are you" "Yeah, that's right." "You can walk your punk-ass home." "Oh, and you are a player hater." "What was this talk about being a freak and porn sites ?" "Nothing, baby." "Tosha, I'm gonna ask you one more time." "What was he talking about when he said porn sites" "Hot damn !" "That's my ass." "No, it's not." "Well, that's your ass, so that damn well better be my ass." "Baby, it's not." "That is my ass." "That" " I know my ass like the back of my hand." "Do you know how much time I spend looking at myself in the mirror ?" "How did you get your legs around your head like that ?" "Maybe we should go." "Oh... oh..." "Does anybody mind making a pit stop ?" "We could take my Benz?" "I think everybody should be able to fit." "I'm the only one ain't been drinking." "Oh my God, no, you're not driving me." "Where are" "Who's got the keys ?" "Give me those fucking keys." "What" " I'm coming." "( siren blaring )" "( Gabby ) Okay, yeah." "All right." "Hi, hi, yeah, excuse me, hi." "Okay, we have a pregnant woman who is about to bust, okay ?" "And her husband's already been busted, you know what I'm saying, girl ?" "Sister ?" "Can we roll ?" "Okay, ma'am, there's a waiting room over here." "You can take a seat and somebody will get to you." "Waiting room ?" "Okay." "You know what, um, apparently you didn't hear me, sister." "Why don't you turn up your little Miracle Ear, okay ?" "And get us a room !" "Come on, country girl, come on..." "Please." "Are you getting loud with me ?" "Of course I'm getting loud with you." "We need a room." "They do not pay me enough money to deal with streetwalkers coming in here talking any kind of way." "Clearly, you, sister, with that wig sitting three inches from your scalp, you know all about streetwalking." "Don't have me pull Esmerelda off." "Okay guys, come on, come on !" "We gotta baby going come." "Oh Lord, we gonna have a baby !" "It'll be all right !" "We got a baby on the way." "( excited chattering )" "Hallelujah, Lord, a baby !" "Hallelujah, hallelujah !" "Uh-uh, uh-- Oh, wait a second." "Only patients allowed from this point on." "Oh, no, no, no, but these are our friends." "I'm sorry." "Hold on, hold on, hold on." "Like she said, those are our friends." "Can I ask you something ?" "Yes." "You got a boyfriend." "Really ?" "Oh, okay" "There's a waiting area outside, you guys are welcome to wait in the area." "What's wrong with the sisters in this hospitals ?" "The sisters ?" "Yeah, the sisters, sister." "There." "You know what ?" "The Lord said we can be up in here." "I'mma pray for you." "Oh God." "Oh, I don't" " It just hurts." "I need something." "Ma'am, ma'am, is this man your husband ?" "Give me drugs !" "Oh, oh !" "Okay, let's get her on the bed." "Martin, Martin..." "You okay, Andrea, you okay ?" "You son of a bitch, you did this to me !" "Your bachelor days are over, dude !" "Get up and watch the goddamn birth of your child !" "Get up there !" "( man ) Okay, let's get her on the bed." "Let's get her on the bed, come on." "Do you have any drugs ?" "I need something, it hurts." "You okay, baby ?" "It's gonna be okay." "Okay, okay." "Tosha, you have five seconds to tell me why" "I was looking at our naked bodies on my iPhone." "Okay." "Well, baby, do you realize that there are more divorced people in this country than there are married people ?" "And half of those marriages fail because of bad sex lives." "There's nothing wrong with our sex life." "Well, maybe now that the rest of the world has seen our sex life." "Baby, I just wanted to keep us intimate, which is really why I took that online course anyway." "Which is one of the reasons why I had us play that stupid game tonight." "And what does that have to do with a freaking sex movie ?" "Because I just learned it in class." "Baby, I swear to you, that tape was just meant for us." "And Kim and Andrea and Gabrielle and Liz ?" "No" " No, no, no, no, no." "Liz did not see it." "Baby, baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just" "I just wanted to help us." "And you wanted your friends to see for what ?" "Maybe I just wanted to... gloat." "Just a little." "I should have never bought you that damn camera." "Now can I have a little bitty kiss ?" "No, you're on punishment." "What's wrong with you ?" "Everyone here with the O'Neils ?" "( Tosh ) Yes, yes." "Excuse me, are you with someone ?" "Well, it's a boy." "Aw !" "Hot damn, I guess the stronger sex tonight were the men !" "And a girl." "Ha-- must have been a tie." "Oh, twins !" "Twins !" "Twins." "They're twins, oh !" "Oh my God, I knew it." "Wow!" "Well, I'll see you all later." "Oh, thank you, Doctor." "Excuse me, excuse me, Doctor, excuse me." "That's so sweet." "( all ) Oh...." "God did good, God did good." "But I'm gonna say a special prayer for this one." "( Liz ) The girl or the boy ?" "The girl's over there..." "hey baby." "( Kim ) And the other one." "Great job." "I didn't know what I was gonna do with the one." "Two." "No more late nights, baby." "no more late nights." "So cute." "Hey..." "We'll see you." "Good work, baby." "( Liz ) Give her kisses for us." "No more late nights." "Little prayer for my baby, little prayer for my baby." "I'm gonna ask the Lord." "You did it, man." "They did a good job." "Excuse me, Doctor..." "Feelgood." "Oh" " Dr. Feelgood." "I just wanted to-- Oh God." "Whoa, whoa." "I'm so sorry, wow." "It's been a long day." "You need an appointment ?" "Actually, I happen to need my vitals checked." "I feel a little hot." "We have a room-- I'm just joking." "Oh" " A room." "You move fast, don't you ?" "Don't joke with me." "I'm joking" " Get it ?" "Oh God." "Okay." "Hope you don't mind me sitting." "All the seats are taken." "I'm Miles." "Lolita." "Lolita, nice to meet you." "How you doing ?" "Good, how are you ?" "I'm fine." "Actually, I'm" "I'm not fine." "Just going through a few things, you know ?" "Just going through a breakup." "She's a lot older than I am, you know." "And I don't think she understands me." "You know what, I think I should have dated someone, you know, closer to my age." "You know, someone I can grow with." "Maybe someone like-- someone like you." "Oh, I was just leaving, but good luck with everything." "Wait, wait" " Wait, I wasn't finished talking." "Where you going ?" "She's leaving me with  little-ass kids." "Old ass women." "Andrea." "You did so good." "You did so good, look at this." "It's amazing." "There's two of 'em." "I know." "Oh my God-- I am so sorry." "I love you, Martin." "I love you, too, I love you, too." "Hey, I love you, too..." "Hello." "Hey big guy, we love you too." "Oh, everybody..." "we love everybody." "Oh my God, amazing." "Hello." "( laughing )" "Two, two." "I don't know how the hell..." "I'm so not jealous." "Hey, hey, same time next week ?" "Not if I can help it." "Goodbye." "All right, girl." "Call me next week, I'll let you know how my date with Dr. Feelgood went." "Girl, a prayer for you and all y'all." "No, we gonna pray for you." "The power of prayer." "Oh, baby, I'm tired." "Sweetie, let's go home." "Is that for me ?" "Well, I'm sure the hell not gonna drink it." "Caffeine." "Gabby, why did you turn around and" "I don't do hospitals." "My father passed away in a hospital and I can't do it." "I understand." "So they're twins." "Twins" " Wow, that's great, twins." "A boy and a girl." "Gabby." "Why are you intent on denying the fact that I've always had feelings for you ?" "James, you're not my type." "Aw, come on, Gabby, and that kid is ?" "You're a ladies' man, a player, you know." "I need something more." "I need stability." "Gabby, can I tell you something ?" "Mm-hmm." "I was with this girl once, right, and..." "James." "Hold on, Gabby, Gabby, no, Gabby, stop." "Come on, Gabby." "Just hear me out, okay ?" "I was with this girl once." "And we were living together, the whole nine yards." "Every time I would come home from work, she would always have dinner cooking." "But this one day that I got home, I came home early." "That was the day that I got laid off." "I was trying to figure out how I was gonna tell this woman that I loved so very much that I didn't have a job anymore." "So I..." "I drove in the driveway, my eyes still wet from crying." "I didn't know what I was gonna tell her." "I walked in the house, didn't smell nothing cooking." "Then I remembered, I was home early." "So I went looking for her." "I walked up to the bedroom, I opened the door." "I..." "I saw the woman that I loved so much riding another guy." "A guy that I never seen before in my life." "Come to find out it wasn't the first time." "She had a little business going on on the side, guys coming in and out, carrying on and going on their merry way." "So what did you do ?" "I..." "I just left." "Look, Gabby." "I just want you to know, I was hurting." "And I'm not this insensitive guy that everybody thinks that I am." "I hurt, too." "You know, I'm so done with the whole club scene after tonight." "Really done." "But, um... maybe we can hook up for a cup of coffee sometime." "Really ?" "I'll walk a mile to a Starbucks just to hang out with Gabby." "Just for future reference, don't ever use the word "miles" and "Starbucks"" "in the same sentence, ever again." "Okay." "Go ?" "What time is it ?" "It's 3:00 a.m." "Mm-hmm." "Witching hour." "I can't believe you were worried about our sex life." "Never again, baby." "I promise." "It's the witching hour, huh ?" "Yep." "Then why don't we get a little wicked ?" "Mmm." "Wait" " Wait, wait, wait, wait." "One more thing." "♪" "Hey, how y'all doing ?" "How are you ?" "I'm fine, I'm all right." "How you doing, brother ?" "I need a woman's" "I need to talk to a woman for a second." "I just need to get some advice." "I'm going through a breakup right now." "Yeah, I like your 'do." "Oh, what it do ?" "Yeah, it does." "Listen, if you don't mind, can we step outside and talk, brother ?" "I was trying to get some bus routes." "You're a motor" " Motor coach operator, ain't you ?" "Yeah." "Yeah, just" " What time the St. Bernard passing ?" "The Broad ?" "Right now." "Right now ?" "Praise God, brother." "All right." "All right." "Drink this." "Drink it." "Please." "( man ) Cut." "Action on the leading line." "( Gabby ) I didn't make you come here tonight." "No, it's yours first." "What's wrong with you ?" "( man ) One more time, I like that, I like that." "Here we go and..." "Hold on, this goddamn bindi shit." "I'mma burn this shit once this movie is over." "We're gonna have a celebration burning and shit." "( yelling )" "Callate, Callate, Callate !" "Stop." "( laughing )" "♪"