"Hi, I'm Michael." "Paul." "I hear you're having some trouble." "It's okay." "It's okay." "I just..." "Don't understand..." "Why god made me like this." "He didn't." "Trust me." "Let me tell you something." "You should never define yourself by your choices or your desires." "Gay doesn't exist." "It's a false identity." "This isn't my choice." "Why would I choose this?" "You always have a choice." "You wanna go to heaven, right?" "Yes." "If you're a moral person, then you'll choose heterosexuality in order to be with god." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "Where you going?" "I'm gonna make us breakfast." "No." "Yeah, come on." "Breakfast is the most important part of the day." "I'll have muffins at my meeting." "Muffins?" "Yeah, muffins." "Blueberry." "Mmm, blueberry." "Okay, then we'll do lunch, okay?" "Mmm, morning breath." "Oh, stop it!" "Get off!" "It's so cool that you work at XY." "Yeah." "Yeah, it's rad." "You guys are like the only cool gay magazine out there right now." "Oh, yeah, sort of." "Hey, listen up, queens." "XYmagazineis takingover!" "It's our time to shine!" "MatthewShepard wasanopenlygay man ." "Whenhewenttoa laramie, Wyomingbarlastweek, thesetwosuspects luredhimoutside, pretendingtobe gay." "Nowthey'recharged witha viciousattack thatleftShepard hangingonthisfence for18hours infreezingtemperatures." "Shepardremainedon  lifesupportuntilthismorning whenhepassedaway." "Shepard'sfamily isgratefulforsupport fromaroundtheworld." "They killed him because they were afraid, and they were afraid because of what their churches tell them and because of what they see in movies." "It's fucking ridiculous." "I hope they get the death penalty." "You're against the death penalty." "Not in this case." "That's like being for free speech until someone tells you something that pisses you off." "He died a slow death after being tied to a fence and tortured." "Exactly, a slow death is way more painful." "They should spend the rest of their lives in prison." "Okay, look, we need to move away from labels because they segment and they lead to persecution." "People don't wanna be perceived as gay because..." "They're afraid they'll end up like Matthew." "But we are a gay magazine." "Identifying as gay is being part of a community." "It's recognition, it's progress..." "We've been telling the kids in the magazine to come out, to be proud to be gay." "They should be proud to be themselves." "Gay and straight are just social constructs." "Ugh." "God, you and your queer theory." "Class is in session with professor Michael glatze." "Shut up." "Okay, okay, look." "We need to put out the message that being attracted to the same sex doesn't define who you are." "Hey." "Have you been smoking?" "Just one." "Small one." "It was a small cigarette." "Busted." "Letters to the editor." "Ninety percent are some poor teen with religious parents." "Fucking Christian fundamentalists should burn in hell." "Uh, okay." "In the meantime, there is a design competition for the halifax international airport." "I don't wanna move to halifax." "I know, but my father wants me to head up the bid committee." "It's huge." "Halifax is so boring." "Your hometown is boring." "It's not." "Olympia?" "Yeah." "It's all trees and fog and coffee." "And the birthplace of the riot grrrl movement and where Kurt cobain wrote most of nevermind." "Oh, well..." "Yeah." "In that case..." "But it's unsustainable here, unless you're in the dot-com movement, and I don't wanna live in a studio on mission street when we're 50." "Well, we won't be." "We'll be in a big mansion on a hill." "Duh." "May21st,2000." "Iusedto imaginemyself growingold whilelivingin ahouse atopa hillin theCastro, butwhat'smoreimportanttome  isgrowingold withtheloveofmylife:" "Bennett." "SoI 'mleavingSanFrancisco tolivein halifax,Canada." "AlthoughI 'msad toleaveXY magazine," "I'mexcitedto finallyaccept thespeakingoffers" "I'vebeenreceiving thispastyear, thankstomy work asa writerandactivist." "What a lot of people aren't aware of is that the terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual"" "were only introduced about a hundred years ago." "Asmymother usedtoalwayssay ," ""whenyouhelpothers, you'rehelpingyourself aswell."" "We often read about more sexually..." "Mygoalis to threadaneedle throughthefabric ofthiscountry andstitchtogetherthe lives ofgaykidseverywhere." "I know a lot of you are balancing religion and sexuality, but I mean, come on, what god would punish you for finding love?" "This is where I spread my mom's ashes." "Oh, my god." "She's still here." "Mom, I'm gonna stay here with you." "No." "Don't be stubborn." "You are not skipping a semester to be with me." "I can help you through this." "I'm gonna be fine." "I told you." "I feel better." "Really, Michael." "I am so proud of you." "I love you so much." "Hmm." "I love you." "I should've stayed." "Everyone kept saying," ""don't worry, we're praying for her, don't worry."" "Everyone's gonna die." "No amount of praying is ever gonna change that." "You're not getting up yet." "Five minutes more." "Ican'tbelieveI'm approaching myone-yearanniversary hereinhalifax, NovaScotia,Canada." "Thefoodis amazing, especiallytheSushi." "Thepeoplearefriendly andalthoughthegay community ismuchsmaller thanSanFrancisco," "Ihavesomebig plans toreallymakeanimpact." "What's wrong with you?" "Nothing." "Look, I have to find something else to do." "I'm just not cut out for administrative work." "Give it some time?" "I have things i wanna do." "I want my own magazine." "I want something bigger." "I want..." "I want to influence people." "I can't do that here." "You're being such a shit." "We made the decision to leave San Francisco together." "No, we didn't." "I mean, you had to take this job." "Just like you had to take the job that took us to San Francisco." "Which is how you got your job at XY, so you should be thanking me." "Is this..." "This is supposed to be Mexican food?" "Why don't you go to the store and make your own food?" "Maybe I will." "You'll have to ask me for money, though, 'cause you don't have any, remember?" "Thanks." "Hey." "Hey." "You're Mike, right?" "Uh, yeah." "The XY survivor guide really helped me out." "Are you stalking me or something?" "Tyler." "Hi." "Hi." "I just..." "I wanted you to know" "I agree with everything that you say about gay identity and sexuality." "I don't wanna be put into a box just because I'm gay." "You don't wanna be in a box?" "No, I don't wanna be in a box." "You're so fucking cute." "Can I buy you a drink?" "Don't you have a boyfriend?" "Hmm..." "He'll think you're cute, too." "It's a galaxy." "Uh, actually it's a spiral." "It's the only symbol that means anything." "It's infinite, no beginning, no end." "There's a beginning and there's an end." "All right, well, there's a more complicated one that has no beginning and no end, but I can't do it on my pancakes, okay?" "How did you guys meet?" "How did we meet?" "Uh, San Francisco." "We volunteered at this aids prevention organization." "And we both got arrested protesting this Christian coalition event." "Which is how I knew it was true love." "Awesome." "How about you?" "What's your deal?" "Who are you?" "Uh..." "I'm a physics student." "Really?" "Yeah." "Physics." "Science." "Yeah." "I wanna be an astronaut, but that's probably a long shot." "Oh, god." "I'd be terrified to go into space." "It's just, to me, earth is just this, like, tiny speck in the universe." "And humans have only been around for just a speck of that timeline." "So it's just..." "There has to be more to life than just this, don't you think?" "Totally." "Totally." "So Tyler was really cute, huh?" "Interesting." "Mm-hmm." "It is interesting, isn't it?" "Very interesting." "You know why?" "Because I love you so much." "And I really feel like we're at a place in our relationship where there's more than enough love to go around." "And I know that I'm not afraid of that and I don't think that you are either." "Mm-mm." "Maybe I am afraid." "Well, you shouldn't be afraid because I'm here to protect you." "Why?" "Carrot thief." "Here's our very uncool soccer mom Van." "Whoo!" "Who are these guys?" "July23rd,2002." "Road trip." "Road trip." "I'mdrivingacrossAmerica withBennettandTyler foranexcitingnew project I'mworkingon ." "I guess both beds are taken." "I don't know where you're gonna sleep." "Eenie, meenie, miney, moe." "This is the most fun I've ever had in my whole life." "Really?" "No." "Wearemakingadocumentary aboutqueeryouthinAmerica, becausediscrimination againstlgbtyouth mustbeeliminated." "Ijustwishpeoplecouldsee thatthesekidshavefaces, names,andvoices thatneedto be heard." "Growing up in the church and realizing that you're gay is very difficult." "You know, your family has never talked about it." "I mean, I'm 13 and it's the first time I've heard the word." "And when I heard the word and knew what it was, then it was like, "hey, I know that." "I understand that." "That's me."" "My mom, she's trying." "She's like really in the closet about it." "She won't mention it to anybody or anything like that." "Like, she tries to still act like I'm straight and expects me to act like I'm straight along with her when I'm not like that." "And this was probably more overwhelming when I tried to kill myself, uh..." "But I felt so invisible to everyone around me who was straight." "There are times when I realize that I'm just as much a creation of god as everyone else." "Olympia, Washington." "This is kind of somber." "But even though I grew up here, because both my parents don't live anymore, it feels like this place is a part of a past that doesn't exist anymore." "And I wasn't gay here." "I mean, you couldn't be." "There was this kid that everyone just thought was gay and he had to leave school 'cause he got picked on so much." "What's it like here?" "Liberty is falwell territory." "So as you can imagine, it's not very gay-friendly." "So why do you stay?" "Uh..." "Well, I..." "I don't know." "I, um..." "I didn't come out to friends and family until last year." "And I have another year before I graduate." "I'm a Christian." "So..." "Which a lot of people think is impossible, but I think that's just as ridiculous as the anti-gay right, so..." "Just a second." "Hey, sof." "Do you want us to call them for you?" "We're just gonna..." "We're gonna wait with you until he comes, okay?" "Her mother just passed." "Do you mind not filming us?" "So awful." "Here, let's pray." "Let's pray for her, okay?" "All right, turn it off." "We just wanna ask, father, that you would just give her the strength to get through this incredibly difficult time and we pray that you would just fill us all with the compassion to know what she must be going through" "because it would be impossible for us to fully comprehend." "Just show her yourself, father, during this time and look to you right now, father..." "Hey." "Babe." "We gotta go." "We gotta be there at 9:30." "You ready?" "Yeah." "All right." "See you in the car." "Ididn'tcomeout  tofriendsandfamily untillastyear." "I'ma Christian." "So..." "Whicha lotof people thinkisimpossible, butI thinkthat's justasridiculous astheanti-gayright,so..." "WhenI wasyoung,Ididn 'tknow  thattherewerepeoplelike me." "Ifeltlost,alone, andconfused." "Inevereventoldmymother, mybestfriend,thatIwas gay becauseI wasafraid shewouldn'tacceptme." "That'swhy we'reonthisjourney:" "Toletgaykidsknow  thattheyarenot alone." "Andyouknowwhat?" "Ilearnedalot aswell ." "Becausewemet somanyamazingpeople who'veheardtheirparents orpastors tellthemthey'rewrong andyetthey'vecome totherealization thatthey'rebeautiful, blessed,andthatgod  lovesthemjustasthey are." "Imean,peoplewho believe thathomosexualityis wrong aregonnachangetheirminds thankstothisnextgeneration." "The sky is fucking beautiful." "What is this, babe?" "Hmm?" "Oh, it's stupid." "Just somebody gave it to me on the street." ""Where will we go when we die?"" "Baby." "You guys, where will we go when we die?" "In 2012, the world is supposed to end." "Is that a real thing?" "I hope not." "Everyone knows this." "It's what they drew on the Mayan calendar." "You know, the Mayan calendar thing." "That's what they drew." "It was the moon and the sun." "What?" "I'm curious." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "We wanna know." "Please." "We wanna know." "Please." "I don't think they wanna know." "Mike." "You guys go on." "I'll meet you at home." "You okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Where are you going?" "Michael?" "What's that about?" "I have absolutely no earthly idea." "Baby." "I was worried about you today." "What's going on?" "It's stupid." "Baby, nothing's stupid." "Tell me what." "Do you think when we die, we just disappear like we never existed?" "No, I don't think that." "Because I know that we'll always be together." "Baby." "Baby." "Baby, you're okay." "I'm here." "Let's pray for her." "Let's pray." "Bennett!" "Bennett!" "I'm really lightheaded." "It's okay." "It's okay." "We're almost there." "We're almost there." "Okay." "Your heartrate seems to have returned back to normal." "Can you check again?" "Just because your father had hcm does not mean that you have it." "We followed our chest pain protocol and there's nothing abnormal." "You had a panic attack." "Okay?" "Where's Bennett?" "He's in the lobby." "As soon as you're checked out, you can see him." "All right?" "Thank you." "Iwas13 yearsold , walkingalongthebeach withmyfather, whenhesuddenlycollapsed anddied fromanunexpected heartcondition." "IfI 'veinheritedhisdisease, thesamething couldhappento me ." "What's wrong, baby?" "It's happening again." "I can feel it." "The tests confirmed that-- they don't know." "They don't care." "NowI 'mhaving heartpalpitations allthetime." "Andcontraryto what thedoctorskeepsaying," "Ijustknow theyaren'tpanicattacks." "Aftermonthsof fighting withmyinsurance," "Iwasfinallyallowed toseeaspecialist whocoulddefinitivelytest whetherornot" "Iinherited myfather'scondition." "NowI haveto wait fortheresults." "Michael, just calm down." "Calm down!" "Do you know what this disease means?" "It means i could die any minute, just drop dead!" "You calm down!" "Dr. Williams?" "Hi." "Thank you, god." "Thank you, god." "Thetestconfirmed thatI didnotinherit myfather'sheartcondition." "Althoughit's amassivesighofrelief," "Ikeepthinkingtomyself..." "IfI wasreally justhavingpanicattacks, thenwhat'swrongwithme?" "WhatamIafraidof?" "AllI knowis thatwhen facedwithyourown death, itremindsyou ofwhat'simportantinlife ." "Andforme , that'shelpingotherpeople." "Okay." "SoI 'vedecided tostartmy ownmagazine." "I'mcallingit yga." "Young gay Americans." "It'sgonnabe thebiggest andmostsophisticatedmagazine aimedatimprovingthe lives oflgbtyouth." "Hmm." "What is this?" "What is this?" "Oh, my god!" "Hi!" "You didn't." "I know you wanted one, baby." "Oh, my god!" "Ooh." "What are we gonna call you?" "What are we gonna call you?" "Olly." "Olly, heel." "I've been thinking about the next issue of yga." "I think we need to address this whole christianity thing." "What do you mean?" "Well, people think that gays and christians are enemies." "We've met so many people who've managed to balance their faith and their sexuality." "But we've also met so many people whose parents and churches tell them they're gonna burn in hell." "Yeah, which is why we should address it in the magazine." "I mean, the whole "you're gay, you're going to hell" myth was started by mistranslations and misinterpretations of the Bible." "I mean, god doesn't care what your sexual orientation is." "And the one thing that the gay movement doesn't understand that I think christianity does is that not everyone wants to be a part of the subculture." "I'm sorry, what did you do with my boyfriend?" "Shut up." "I'm not gonna write like..." "Gospel according to Michael or something." "Itmightseemstrange fora gayyouthmagazine todedicatean entireissue toreligion, butit'stooimportant toignore." "Whenmyparentsdied, Iblamedgod." "WhenI cameout," "Idistancedmyselfevenfurther fromreligion." "Yousee,IthoughtIwas  toosmartto believeingod,  thathewasonly fortheneedy." "Butafter arecenthealthscare," "Ifeltthisnudging inthebackofmymind:" "Thepresenceof god." "Andyouknowwhat?" "Iwasno longerafraid." "Aah!" "Somereligiousfigures spouthatefulrhetoric andtryto force amonopolyon thetruth." "Buttheonlytruthislove." "Theonlysinisdenyinglove." "Stophating." "Startloving." "You gonna join us?" "Uh, yeah, just one second." "What?" "Uh, you're really combing through that thing, aren't you?" "Look, my whole life, i thought the Bible was full of hate..." "And it's not." "There's a lot of love in here." "So your interest in the Bible is more than just research?" "Well, there's a lot of Christian roots in my family, my mom, my aunt and..." "Just curious." "Your aunts disowned you when you came out." "That's not family." "I'm all for curiosity but-- i-i just feel like something saved me, shook me and woke me up." "And that someone is god?" "Mike, he didn't save you because you were never dying." "Okay." ""Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."" ""Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."" ""Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."" "Don't see many people flaunting that out in the open." "Oh." "I've seen you reading out here before and I thought maybe you'd wanna come to my church." "Any Sunday, just to check it out." "See what the mormon religion has to offer." "The gospel teaches us that we are the spirit children of heavenly parents." "Now, many people ask, are we like other christians?" "Why of course we are." "We believe in Jesus Christ and we believe in life after death." "And everyone is welcome at the lds church." "Christ's atonement allows mankind to be saved from their sins..." "And to return to live with god and their loved ones in heaven." "Did you grow up with any kind of faith?" "Not really." "My mother was Christian, but she didn't really take me or my sister to church, and my father was a Berkeley hippie, kind of agnostic or even atheist." "They were very good people and I know I'll see them again in heaven." "My mom passed away as well." "So I know how hard that is." "I was so afraid and angry, you know?" "Yeah, me, too." "It's really hard to deal with death when you don't know where you're going." "But once you do, then you have peace and you realize that god's not to blame." "Right." "Yeah." "Catherine." "It was nice to meet you." "You, too." "She's single, fyi." "Fyi?" "What, you think she likes me?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it seemed like it." "But I mean, don't worry." "There's plenty of single ladies looking for a husband." "I wasn't even thinking about that kind of thing." "Oh, well, maybe it's something you should start thinking about." "I can get you in touch with her if you want." "Oh, um..." "If you're interested." "Sure." "I don't know." "Yeah?" "Okay." "Whatever." "Yeah, okay." "All right." "Okay, thanks." "Embarrassing me a little bit." "Welcomebackto newbeginnings andthankyoufor listening toourcontinuedconversation aboutthetruthpathtoheaven." "Doctor,howwouldyou respond tootherchristians whodisagreewithyourangle?" "Look,allI'mtrying todois helppeople." "Itjustpainsmesomuchwhen Ihearso-calledchristians sidewiththeleftonissues suchashomosexuality." "Now,I 'mnotcondoninghate." "Infact,thisisaboutlove." "Choosinga gayidentity willcondemnyou toaneternityofsuffering." "AndI wannasavepeople fromthat." "Whetherit'sabortion oradultery oracceptingreligions otherthanchristianity, youmustobeygod 'slaw  oryouwillnot beallowed intohiskingdom." "I'm not saying that." "I'm not saying that it's wrong." "I'm just saying that over the course of thousands of years, people with an agenda have made christianity what it is today." "Yeah, but the original message is still the same, it's about love." "You know, I would've never pegged you as a Buddhist." "Why?" "What, 'cause I don't look a certain way?" "No, I..." "I don't know why i just said that." "I'm just kidding you." "Meditation." "People get weird in their head about meditation." "They think it's weird or hippie." "I think it's about developing mindfulness." "You know, it's about living moment to moment." "And in a deeper level, it's about knowing yourself." "That's why I started volunteering at the Buddhist center." "They have classes on Friday." "You should come." "Oh, I have to go out of town for this speaking thing." "What kind of speaking thing?" "It's about gay youth in America." "No way." "That's awesome." "Welcome to our very first panel on being young and gay in America." "Joining us is Judy Shepard, president of the Matthew Shepard foundation, dedicated to working towards causes championed by her son Matthew during his life." "Thank you for joining us." "Michael glatze, former editor of XY magazine, recipient of equality forum's national role model award as well as lambda's literary award for XY's survival guide, participant in the award-winning documentary" "Jiminbold, and co-founder of young gay Americans, which is now a full-fledged magazine." "What does being gay mean to you?" "Gaydoesn'tmeanthe samething thatitmeant20yearsago." "Andit'smoreimportantnow thanever tomakeallies andmakealliances bothinside andoutsidethegay community." "Gaydoesn'tmeanthe samething thatitmeant20yearsago." "It'snotabout" "hey." "No." "I have to walk the dog." "Hey." "What are you doing?" "I need some space." "Mike-- look, I just..." "I need some time to figure this out, to see where this is taking me." "Why can't you come to me for help?" "We have to talk about this before-- look, I just..." "I need to get away from this life." "Our life?" "Yes." "And what exactly is it about our life that you need to get away from, being gay?" "I don't know." "I don't know!" "Okay, uh, are you attracted to women?" "Because if that's the case, then fine, go explore." "I just wanna be with my parents in heaven." "Is that so hard to understand?" "Can you even hear yourself right now?" "What happened to the misinterpretation of the Bible?" "It's a fucking book, Mike!" "I read the Bible the same way i read anything else, with an open mind and an open heart." "Oh, is that what you call this?" "'Cause the way you're talking doesn't exactly sound very fucking open-minded." "This relationship has just developed into something unhealthy." "What does that even mean?" "Tyler?" "You were just as interested in that as I was." "No." "I just wanted you to be happy because I was afraid you were gonna leave." "I was never gonna leave, Mike." "I've stood by you." "I've held your hand while you were so terrified of dying that you created illnesses that didn't even exist." "The truth is that i was living a lie." "The truth is that god loves us-- shut the fuck up!" "Okay." "Wait." "Please don't go." "Where are you going?" "The thing that will really kill you..." "Is repressing who you truly are." "That's what you should really be afraid of." "So he just left this here out in the open?" "Ihavecometoa decision thatwillbe shocking toanyoneIusedtorelateto." "Thepresenceof god hasgrownstronginmylife." "Hetoldme  thatmypanicattacks werecausedby my shallow, sinfullifestyle." "I'vecometo therealization thatidentifyingas gay preventsyoufromfinding yourtrueselfwithin." "Andwemustbeourtrueselves  inorderto joingod  inhiskingdom." "Therefore,I , Michaelglatze, nolongeridentify asgay." "Why did you do it?" ""Gay activist goes straight"?" "You gave the anti-gay right the story of their dreams." "I don't know why." "I don't know." "Who pushed you?" "No one." "I just wanted to tell my story." "Look, I think this all happened because god needed to teach me a lesson." "That's why I'm here, to make it better." "Meditation is a way of slowing down and developing kindness towards yourself." "Through mindfulness practice, we develop strength of mind." "We become more present and we learn to appreciate our world." "Godworksin mysteriousways." "Hehassentmetoaplace whereI cangetaway fromthephysicalworld sothatIcan focus onmytrueself-- ahappier,healthierman , freeofunnaturaldesires." "Atfirst,Ididn'tunderstand whygodwouldsendaChristian toa Buddhistretreat." "ButI havefaith inhisplanfor me." "Desireispowerful." "Andgodis testingme." "ButI refuseto givein totemptation." "I'vecometo therealization thatgodwantsme tousemeditation toridmyself ofabnormaldesires." "God gave Buddha the light to be Buddha." "He did." "Michael, what are you talking about?" "I just want us to be on the right path for our future, for our health, for the afterlife." "I am on the right path, okay?" "My path." "Michael, i-- I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, Nico." "It's the same kind of strength that you need to-to clear your mind." "You know, we just, we need to find that strength to fight what we both know in our hearts is wrong." "We just have to fight it." "Stop, Michael." "Stop." "No, I mean..." "Michael, you're confused." "You're very confused and it's at my expense." "Peoplehavebeenasking howI am." "Someoutof support." "Otherswhothink I'vereconsidered." "I'vecometo therealization thatBennettrepresentssoul," "Tylerrepresentsbody, Nicorepresentsmind." "Father,son,holyghost." "Iguessgodneedme tocompletetheTrinity inorderto moveon." "SoI 'mreadyto set therecordstraight." "Iwasaheterosexualperson witha homosexualproblem, andI tookcare ofthatproblem." "Ihavenotreconsidered." "A good number of people have come forward and expressed their concern about your being involved with this organization." "This center is supposed to accept everyone." "Yes, and we do." "We welcome people of all beliefs, but we don't tolerate hate." "I don't hate anybody." "Michael, you've written what some would call very hateful things." "Those are my beliefs." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Are you okay?" "I don't know..." "I don't understand what has changed, but I, uh..." "Here we practice compassion." "And I'm just, I'm afraid this isn't gonna work out." "So, because I'm Christian and I express my opinions..." "I have to leave." "That's so messed up." "That's really everything?" "Your whole life is in that one bag?" "Yeah." "Do you think you'll stay here?" "I mean, San Francisco can't be the best place for an..." "Ex-gay." "I'm not an ex-gay." "I'm just me." "Honestly, I thought you'd be happy." "I mean, you never really approved." "That's not true." "Then why haven't we been close?" "I mean, you're my sister." "We're supposed to be there for each other." "We can be close now." "I'm glad you're here." "And I want you to be happy-- loving whomever." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "I'm sorry." "No, I can't." "What?" "No, I'm sorry." "Uh..." "What happened?" "I can't." "Um..." "It's not you, it's..." "I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry." "Olly, it's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "Hello?" "Michael?" "Bennett." "Where are you?" "Areyouokay?" "Michael?" "I have to go." "Wait,whydidyou callme, Michael?" "To my friends who are trapped in homosexuality:" "I wanna thank you for your kind comments and keen observations regarding my story and my revelation that i am no longer homosexual and am now heterosexual." "The gay identity has been packaged and fed to you, and if you identify as gay then you have eaten it, preventing you from further growth and understanding of your true self." "Butit'snottoo late tosaveyourself." "Ifyoufollowmylead ." "Iamconfident." "Iamblessed." "Iamstrong." "Iamreadytogive up mylifeforChrist inorderto find mytrueself." "You sure you don't want a coffee?" "I don't drink coffee anymore." "You're well?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Just asking." "I'm great." "I've never been better." "Well, I just wanted to see how you're doing." "So does Bennett." "Hmm." "I wish I could understand what you're going through." "I just don't want to be perceived as gay for the rest of my experiences." "It's that simple." "Are you still with Bennett?" "No." "I'm, uh, going to Europe to study space science." "That's great." "I'm going to Bible school." "God told me to become a pastor." "I don't want to open old wounds or anything, but I also don't know when I'll ever see you again." "I want you to know how much you meant to me." "I know you don't care anymore." "But I needed to say it." "For closure." "This whole thing..." "It broke my heart." "Tyler..." "I'm sorry." "But I need to live for myself now." "Okay." "Okay." "Take care." "Now, sometimes somebody's gonna ask you what you believe." "They're gonna say, "you're a Christian, all right, what do you believe?"" "Maybe they're an atheist or a agnostic or a Muslim or a Buddha, you know, who knows what they are?" "And you better be ready to tell 'em." "We believe the Bible is the word of god, the supreme, final authority in life and in our faith." "We believe in one god, eternally existing in three persons:" "The father, the son, and the holy spirit." "And we believe the sole condition for receiving everlasting life is belief and faith alone in the lord Jesus Christ." "Thank you." "I'll have one of those, please." "Hi, I'm Michael." "Uh, hi, I'm Rebekah." "Guess we like all the same things." "I love it here." "I mean, I never though I'd end up in Wyoming, but I feel like I've finally found my niche." "Where'd you think you'd end up?" "That's a good question." "I don't know." "All I know is that I've always wanted to help people, because some people struggle so much when the solution is actually very simple." "It's right there in Matthew 10:" "The road may not be easy, but if we give up our lives for Christ, then we'll find our true selves." "Where did you go to college?" "Dartmouth." "Wow." "And you majored in music?" "In creative writing and English literature, but I minored in music theory and composition." "That must've kept you busy." "What kind of stuff did you write?" "Well, my thesis was all poetry, actually." "Can I read some?" "Oh, I don't have it anymore." "My poetry is from a different life." "But I, um..." "I'm so interested in music now because it transcends language." "You know, it's like people don't have to argue about it or judge it or misinterpret it." "They can just listen." "You know, I just play and they just listen." "You know?" "I don't know if I do, to be honest, but the way you say it, i want to." "I'm sorry, I'm just blabbing." "What about you?" "No, don't be sorry!" "You're not blabbing." "Um..." "I majored in theater." "Theater?" "Really?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it was really fun, but it's not like it's a real job." "I actually stage managed a little bit after college, but I don't know, i felt adrift." "So I came here, hoping to figure out my path." "Me, too." "I can't believe you've never had Sushi." "Who hasn't had Sushi?" "It's crazy." "Mm." "Oh, no." "You don't like it." "I'm sorry." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "Oh..." "I'm sorry." "No, I used to hate it when my ex did that." "Always making decisions." "We can go somewhere else." "No." "No, no, no." "No, it's okay." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Yeah." "You like it." "It's fine." "Uh, how, um, how long ago was the ex you mentioned?" "Oh." "It was a long time ago." "It was, uh..." "I don't know why i brought that up." "It was stupid." "Well, um, was it serious?" "Were you gonna marry her?" "It was serious, but, um, no, not marriage." "What about you?" "Oh, no, I've..." "I've never been in a serious relationship." "My parents are very, very conservative." "Do you think they'd approve of me?" "The future pastor i met at Bible school?" "Yes, I think they'd approve." "Rebekah." "Hi." "Hi." "What?" "I just..." "Since when do you wear shirts like that?" "What?" "It's not inappropriate and it's hot out." "You're here to serve our lord, not distract our men." "I don't think I'm distracting anyone." "Is this about Michael?" "We are not letting what we have get in the way of our studies." "Besides, the lord brought us together." "It's about his past." "What about it?" "You really don't know?" "Know what?" "Rebekah." "Oh." "Hi." "Are we still meeting?" "Yeah, just let me finish this." "I'll be right there." "Okay." "I'll be in the cafeteria." "Okay." "I have something i have to tell you." "You already know, don't you?" "Are you still attracted to men?" "No." "It's in the past." "Okay, I..." "God showed me the light." "He showed me the truth." "A lot of people have pasts they're not proud of, but god forgives, right?" "My life has changed so much since I've met you." "And my feelings for you are real." "My feelings for you are real, too." "But I feel like we should just keep hanging out and see what happens." "Maybe not settle on anything too specific." "If that's okay." "Okay." "Hi, I'm Michael." "Now, I wanna tell you a little secret about a great gift from god." "This gift is a human emotion and considered destructive by the enemies of god." "Fear." "You can never, never, never stop fearing yourself." "We are our own worst enemies." "And we must fear ourselves till the day we meet god himself." "God didn't put us here to live our lives in constant fear." "No, of course not." "And then he scolded me for asking questions." "Well, that's not fair." "We're here to learn and we learn in part by asking questions." "No, we're here to serve god, not to identify as the exact kind of christians they want us to be." "I'm sorry." "Don't be." "You know what's best because that's god speaking through you." "You wanted to see me?" "Now, you've been rallying the students against us as though you're being controlled by the devil himself." "I've learned a lot about the Bible here, and for that I thank you." "But I refuse to be controlled by anyone other than god." "I follow my own path." "Yeah, and you want others to follow you." "Perhaps it's best if we mail you your diploma and that you not attend the ceremony." "I don't know if i can stay here anymore." "Oh." "Where will we go?" "We?" "Uh, I've been praying about it." "About us." "I told god how I feel about you and how much you mean to me." "And you know what?" "I was consumed with nothing but peace." "Pure peace." "I love you." "I love you, too." "And be not conformed to this world:" "But be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove that good, glorious, and perfect will of god." "That you may know that good, acceptable, and perfect will of god." " Which would you prefer to have?" " Frosted flakes or fruit loops?" "Well, obviously fruit loops." "Why?" "Why obviously?" "Well, you're a fruit loop." "There you are." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Okay, got 'em." "You get everything?" "Mm-hmm." "These are going to storage." "Well, so you can have a little more room for your shoes?" "Shut up." "I have never seen anyone with more shoes than you." "You can never have too many shoes." "Get those out of here." "Hello?" "Hi." "Hi." "Howareyou?" "Good." "I finished school." "But I'm no longer on their path." "Sowhatpath areyouon now?" "My own." "I'mgoingto be thepastor ofmyownchurch." "Why are you calling?" "Um..." "I, uh..." "I got the picture you sent of oily." "Iknowit wasmonthsago,  butI didn'trespond." "Sohowis she?" "Oh, she's getting old." "But she's okay." "She has this stuffedanimalthatshe  carriesaroundwithher now  everywhereshegoes likeit'sherbaby." "Bennett..." "I should tell you before someone else does." "I'm engaged." "To a..." "Really amazing woman." "Now, I know what you're thinking because" "Iaskedmyselfthe samething-- amI reallyin lovewithher oramIonlydoingthis toberightingod'seyes?" "AndI 'mtruly inlovewithher ,Bennett." "God went to the root of my same sex desires and he uprooted them." "He demonstrated that they were abnormal." "Michael..." "I'mreallyglad youthinkyou'rehappy." "And I wish you all the best." "I really do." "I think you know that." "ButI haveno idea whyyouwouldcallmeup  andusewordslike"abnormal."" "I'msosorryfor the way  thatthingswentdown." "Butjustbecausewedon't share certain beliefs, it doesn't mean that we can't still be friends." "I'll always be your friend." "AndI reallyhope thatthispath takesyouwhereyou wannago." "But I also hope that..." "As you're setting out to help other people..." "Thatyoureallytakesome time  tohelpyourself." "I-iam." "I..." "I'mnotgonnasit here andsaythatIknow" "I'llbethisway  fortherestofmylife." "We're always changing, evolving." "And I'm open to that." "Then..." "I guess nothing's really changed." "Yeah." "Youtakecare ofyourself,okay?" "Goodbye, Michael." "Bye." "Here they come."