"WHATWASTHAT?" "MEANDMY BROTHER," "WE'DJUSTGOT OUTOFTHESHOWER," "ANDHEWASABOUT TWOYEARSYOUNGERTHANME." "ANDWHILEMY MOM WASTAKINGCAREOFHIM" "'CAUSEHE'STINY," " I WAS IN THE LIVING ROOM, DRYINGOFF,WATCHINGTV." " FIVE, FOUR, THREE..." "INA MIAMI,FLORIDA, COURTROOMTODAY," "FORMERPANAMANIANDICTATOR, MANUELNORIEGA" " HEY, CHRIS." " WHOEVER THE NEWSCASTER WAS" "STARTSKINDOF GETTING MYATTENTION..." " CHRIS." " SAYING LIKE, "HEY,CHRIS." "HEY,CHRIS."" "HEY,CHRIS." " AND IT'S SAYING, "DON'TWORRY."" "DON'TWORRY." "EVERYTHING'SGONNABE OKAY." "ANDONEDAY, WE'LLBEBACK." "ITTERRIFIEDME ." "I REMEMBER SCREAMING TO GET MY MOM," "BRINGINGHERTO THETV," "WHONOWWASBACKTODOING  NORMALNEWSCASTING," "BECAUSE THAT'S, YOU KNOW, WHAT IT WAS." "AND HER BASICALLY EXPLAINING TO ME, LIKE," ""TVs DON'T TALK TO YOU." "THAT'S RIDICULOUS."" "I'M DISENCHANTED, BECAUSE NOW I THOUGHT" "SOMETHING REALLY COOL HAPPENED," "AND THAT'S NOT A THING I REMEMBER," "I KNOW IT WAS THERE." "AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS WIDE AWAKE." "I HAD LITERALLY JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE SHOWER," "AND IT WAS THIS VERY OVERWHELMING EXPERIENCE FOR ME" "BECAUSE NOW, AS A FIVE-YEAR-OLD," "I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I BELONGED." "OKAY." "SET." "SOHOWDIDTHISSTART,JEFF?" "UM, PROBABLY ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO." "MY GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT" "DIFFERENT PARANORMAL STORIES, AND SHE STARTED TELLING ME" "ABOUT HOW SOMETIMES SHE'D WAKE UP" "IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT," "JUST, LIKE, UNABLE TO MOVE OR BREATHE." "SHE SAID IT FELT LIKE THERE'S, LIKE," "AN EVIL PRESENCE IN THE ROOM WITH HER," "AND THEY WOULD JUST, LIKE-- KIND OF, LIKE, TORMENT HER." "AND SHE WOULD EVENTUALLY WAKE UP," "AND IT'D BE LIKE IT WAS JUST A DREAM." "AFTER SHE TOLD ME THAT," "I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF IT." "I WAS LIKE, "OKAY, I GOT INVOLVED WITH SOME CRAZY GIRL."" "AND I JUST KIND OF CHANGED THE SUBJECT," "STARTED TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE." "THEN ABOUT A WEEK LATER, I LAID DOWN TO GO TO SLEEP." "ANDJUSTAS ISTARTED TODRIFTOFF," "IFELTMY BODY JUSTBECOMEEXTREMELYHEAVY." "ITWASLIKEIFELL ASLEEP," "BUTTHENWOKEUP ATTHESAMEINSTANT." "ANDMYWHOLEBODY STARTEDTINGLING." "ITJUSTFELTLIKE REALLYWEIGHTEDDOWN," "LIKESOMETHINGWASPULLINGME." "AND I HEARD THIS, LIKE, SOUND." "IT WASN'T OUTSIDE OF MY HEAD," "BUT IT WAS JUST INSIDE OF MY HEAD." "IT JUST SOUNDED LIKE A WASHING MACHINE" "THAT KIND OF OUT OF BALANCE OR SOMETHING," "JUST BANGING AGAINST THE WALL, AND JUST REALLY TERRIFIED ME." "I KIND OF STARTED, LIKE, FREAKING OUT," "AND, LIKE, STARTED SEEING THINGS." "AND IT WAS REALLY BIZARRE." "WELL,WHATDIDYOU SEE ?" "UM, IT WAS KIND OF LIKE" "IT WAS KIND OF LIKE..." "ALLTHESEDIFFERENTCOLORS," "LIKEA LASERLIGHTSHOW ORSOMETHING," "LIKE,I WASLIKEFLYING THROUGH,LIKE,ATIMEWARP ." "ITJUSTHADALL THESECOLORS JUST,LIKE,SHOOTINGATME" "INA LIGHTSHOW." "ANDI FOUNDTHATIHAD ZEROCONTROLOVERMYBODY ." "LIKE,NOMATTERHOW HARD ITRIED," "ICOULDN'TMOVEMYARMS , MYLEGS,NOTHING." "ANDSOIREALLYSTARTEDTO KINDOFHAVEAPANICATTACK" "BECAUSEI DIDN'TKNOW WHATWASGOINGON." "ITHOUGHTIWAS DEAD." "ITHOUGHTIT WASLIKE ASTROKEOR SOMETHING." "NOTHINGWORKED." "ICOULDN'TMOVE." "I HAD NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING." "FINALLYI DECIDED,WELL," "I'MJUSTGONNATRY TOBUILDUP ALLTHESTRENGTH" "THATI HAVEIN ME  JUSTTOGETMYSELF" "TOROLLOVER ONTOMYGIRLFRIEND" "HOPINGTHATIT WAKESHER UP." "SOITWASJUSTLIKE  THISLAST-DITCHEFFORT" "OFEVERYTHINGIHAD ," "IJUST,LIKE, WRENCHEDMYBODY." "ASSOONAS IFLIPPEDOVER  ONTOPOF HER,IWOKE UP." "ANDI WASSTILLLAYING INMYORIGINALPOSITION" "LIKENONEOF IT HADHAPPENED." "IWASJUSTCOMPLETELYSHOCKED." "IHADNO IDEA WHATWASGOINGON." "IJUSTDIDNOT KNOW WHATTOMAKEOFIT." "AFTER THAT, IT WAS LIKE, CONSTANTLY," "NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT," "FOR A COUPLE WEEKS, MAYBE EVEN A MONTH OR SO." "AND..." "I JUST DID NOT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS IT AT THE TIME." "AND SO, FINALLY, I TOLD MY GIRLFRIEND ABOUT IT." "I WAS LIKE, "OKAY, THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME."" ""I THINK I NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR." "I THINK I'M HAVING STROKES, LIKE MINI-STROKES," "OR SEIZURES MAYBE EVEN," AND SHE'S LIKE," ""NO, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS TO ME." "THAT'S WHAT I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU ABOUT."" "IWASABOUT29YEARSOLD." "MM-HMM." "ANDHEREIN THISROOM," "ASI WOULDLAYDOWNTOSLEEP ," "I'DSTARTFEELINGTINGLING INMYFEET," "AND THEN I WOULD FEEL IT RISE UP MY LEGS..." "UP MY TORSO, ON MY HANDS," "AND I'D ALSO HEAR BUZZING." "YOU KNOW, LIKE BEES BUZZING." "THAT'S WHEN THESE EPISODES WOULD START." "IWOULDFEELTINGLING ANDI WOULDGET" "I'DFEELTHEENERGY." "I FELT THAT MY MIND WAS AWAKE, BUT MY BODY WAS STIFF." "I'D TRY TO MOVE MY HEAD FROM SIDE TO SIDE." "I JUST-- I COULDN'T MOVE." "ANDINTHATMOMENT," "IWOULDHEARTAPPING ONTHEWINDOW." "THEY WOULD TAP HERE." "I WOULD HEAR TAPPING." "AND I'M THINKING, "WELL, MAYBE IT'S JUST A SQUIRREL" "OR A RACCOON," BUT IT WAS LIKE A PATTERN." "IT WAS DEFINITELY A KNOCK." "AND I WOULD OPEN MY EYES, AND I'D LOOK TOWARD THE WINDOW," "AND THEN IT WOULD STOP." "BUT AFTER A WHILE," "I STARTED FEELING AN ACTUAL PRESENCE." "AND I WOULD FEEL THIS PRESENCE RIGHT NEXT TO ME" "TRYING TO TAKE MY SOUL OUT." "IT WOULD TORTURE ME AT NIGHT, AND I WOULD TRY AND FIGHT IT," "BUTI FELTIWAS-- MYBODYFELTPARALYZED." "IT WAS JUST SO STRONG THAT I WOULD JUST LET GO," "AND THEN I'D FEEL MYSELF FLOATING IN THE AIR." "AND I COULD TRY AND SEE MYSELF, BUT I WOULD JUST SEE A BLUR." "ANDITHAPPENED FORMANYYEARS,AND" "WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY DAUGHTER," "AND I FELT THE BABY AS WELL, TRYING TO COME OUT." "BUT I WAS TRYING TO FIGHT IT, AND I WAS SAYING, "NO, NO."" "SO I WOULD PULL BACK." "IT'S LIKE IF I WOULD PULL BACK." "AND IT WOULD PULL, YOU KNOW, THE OTHER WAY." "WHENI WASIN  MYMIDTO LATE20S ," "IHADAREALLYAWFULBREAKUP." "I WAS MISERABLE BECAUSE I WAS SO BROKENHEARTED." "AND I STARTED MY FIRST TEACHING JOB AROUND THE SAME TIME," "SO I WAS SUPER STRESSED-OUT FROM THAT." "I WOULD JUST SEE THIS, LIKE, DARK FIGURE BY THE BOOKSHELVES," "AND I COULD NOT MOVE, AND IT WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING." "I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING." "I DID THINK THAT SOMEBODY HAD BROKEN" "INTO MY APARTMENT AT FIRST, BECAUSE AT THAT POINT," "MY ROOMMATE AND I LIVED-- I HAD A ROOMMATE THEN" "WE LIVED ON FOURTH STREET," "AND WE WERE ON THE TOP FLOOR OF THE BUILDING." "AND OUR BUILDING WAS REALLY EASY TO GET INTO." "LIKE, THE DOOR IN FROM THE BALCONY TO OUR APARTMENT" "DIDN'T REALLY LOCK, SO I THINK I WAS LIKE," ""OH, FUCK, SOMEBODY ACTUALLY BROKE IN."" "TO BE LYING THERE AND KNOW, I WANT TO MOVE," "AND I'M TRYING TO MOVE, AND I CANNOT" "ABSOLUTELYTERRIFYING." "I'VEALWAYSHADAPROBLEM WITHSTATESOF CONSCIOUSNESS." "SLIPPINGINANDOUT" "OFDIFFERENTSTATES OFCONSCIOUSNESS." "AND I DO REMEMBER..." "WHEN I WAS VERY, VERY YOUNG" "TWO, THREE, I WAS STILL IN A CRIB." "ANDTHEREWAS APLUG-INNIGHTLIGHT," "ANDITWASTHATORANGE CASTCOLOR." "ANDITWASALL DARK EXCEPTFORTHATORANGECAST ," "ANDTHEROOMTURNEDRED," "ANDI FELTLIKESOMETHING WASCOMINGAFTERME," "ANDI CUDDLEDDOWN ANDCOVEREDMYSELF." "IT WAS MY EARLIEST MEMORY OF THE SCARINESS" "THAT HAPPENED TO ME AND CONTINUED TO HAPPEN." "LAYINGDOWNTO GO TO SLEEP, I WOULD FEEL UTTERLY EXHAUSTED," "ALMOSTASIF  IHADJUSTBEENDRUGGED." "IMEAN,YOUKNOW, HAVINGBEENIN THEHOSPITAL," "IUNDERSTANDWHATTHAT'SLIKE ." "IT'SJUSTLIKE IHADBEENINJECTED." "ANDMYEYESSEALEDSHUT ." "MYMOUTHSEALEDSHUT." "ANDIT'SAS IF EVERYTHING WASSHUTTINGDOWN," "EXCEPTFORMY AWARENESS, MYCONSCIOUSNESS." "ANDTHENICOULDFEEL  AVIBRATION." "SOMETIMESITWASSOINTENSE," "ITFELTLIKE BEINGELECTROCUTED," "BUTITWASDEFINITELY ANELECTRICALVIBRATION." "IBEGANHEARINGVOICES ANDSCREAMS" "  AND CRYING..." "ANDALLOF THISREALLY EMOTIONALDRAMA," "YELLINGTOCRYING, BUTALLNEGATIVEEMOTION," "ALLOFTHESEDIFFERENTVOICES." "ANDTHENTHATISWHEN  THESHADOWMAN" "WOULDCOMETOWARDME." "STUPID,STUPID,STUPID, STUPID,STUPID!" "STUPID!" "ANDHELOOKEDJUSTLIKE  ATHREE-DIMENSIONALSHADOW," "OUTLINED,JUSTPERFECT." "ANDHEWOULDWALK..." "DISJOINTED." "ANDHEBROUGHT THEVIBRATIONWITHHIM ." "IT'SASIF  ITWASEMANATINGFROMHIM." "ANDHEWOULDCOMETOWARDSME, ANDI WOULDJUSTFEELTHAT ." "HEAR" "HEAR" "IWOULDHEAR ALLTHESOUNDSOFHELL" "IDON'TKNOW ANYOTHERWAYTOPUTIT" "ANDFEELHISAWFULVIBRATION." "ANDI WOULDHAVE AFIGHT/FLIGHTRESPONSE," "ANDI WOULDCOMPLETELY, YOUKNOW,FREAKOUT ," "ANDTRYTO SCREAMORGETAWAY." "ANDMANYTIMES, THEINTENSITYJUSTCONTINUED." "I WAS VERY SCARED, AND I WAS UPSTAIRS," "AND I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE ANYBODY WAS GONNA GET TO ME" "IF I SCREAMED." "IT'S VERY DARK." "AND IT SCARED ME FOREVER." "I MEAN, IT REALLY SCARED ME TO THE END OF MY WITS." "AND IF ANYTHING WAS GONNA DRIVE ME INSANE," "IT WAS GONNA BE THAT." "WHAT HAPPENS IS WHEN YOU'RE FALLING ASLEEP," "YOU'LL GET AN ELECTRICAL SHOCK THROUGH YOUR BODY" "JUST AS YOU'RE FALLING ASLEEP, AND THAT'S THE USUAL INDICATION" "THAT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A VISIT THAT NIGHT." "THENYOU'LLFALLASLEEP," "ANDTHENYOU'LLWAKEUP, ANDYOU'RETOTALLYPARALYZED," "YOUCAN'TMOVE." "UM, AND..." "THERE'S STATIC IN THE ROOM." "AND YOU'RE BEING VISITED." "THEY'LL CIRCLE YOUR BED," "AND NOW AND AGAIN, THEY'LL TRY AND TOUCH YOU." "THEFIRSTONE ISA GENERICSHADOWPERSON," "WHICHISJUSTBASICALLY ANOUTLINEOF ME ANDYOU" "ONA SUNNYDAY, ONTHEPAVEMENT," "ONTHESIDEWALK INA 3-DFORM." "ANDTHESECOND" "THESECONDENTITY, WHICHISTHEHAT MAN ," "SEEMSTOHAVEADIRECTLINK TOTHEM." "HE'S" "HE'SAVERY AUTHORITARIANFIGURE." "HE'SVERYMENACING." "HE'SVERY" "HE'SINCHARGEOFTHEM ." "HISMINIONS, SOTOSPEAK." "AND,UM..." "THEY'REA TEAM." "IT'SHELL." "HE'S AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL." "IT ALL STARTS WITH THAT ELECTRICAL SHOCK." "I HAVE MY TWO SEPARATE LIVES." "I HAVE MY LIFE LIKE WE'RE HERE TALKING ABOUT IT," "AND IT'S COOL AND I GO TO WORK." "THEN WHEN I GO TO BED," "I HAVE THIS WHOLE OTHER LIFE THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH." "WHEN IT FIRST STARTED, IT WAS PRETTY INTERMITTENT." "IT WASN'T EVERY DAY." "DON'T KNOW THE AGE." "AROUND THIS TIME." "MYBROTHERDIDN'TLIVE WITHUSANYMORE," "ANDI HADMY ROOM ALLTOMYSELF." "IT'SKINDOF FUNNY 'CAUSEI CANREMEMBER" "MYBEDHADCOLLAPSED," "ONTOA BOXOF BEANIEBABIES THATMYMOMCOLLECTED." "MYMOMWASABIGCOLLECTOR." "ANDSOMY BEDKINDOFPIVOTS, RIGHT?" "ONTOPOF THISTHING THERE'SA FRAME," "THEBEDPIVOTING." "ANDI REMEMBER THEBEDWASPIVOTED," "ONTHISPARTICULARNIGHT," "WITHMYFEET CLOSERTOTHEGROUND" "ANDMYHEADHIGHERUP, LIKEA SEESAW." "ANDI REMEMBER THEPARALYSISSTARTS," "ANDI CANSEETHE DOORFRAME." "LIKEI CANSEE-- I'MLOOKINGDIRECTLYAT- " "YOUKNOW, I'MLOOKINGAT AWALL," "ANDTHEDOORISRIGHTHERE." "SO,HERE'SABED ,THERE'SME, THENSTRAIGHTFORWARD," "THERE'STHEDOORTHATEXITS, RIGHT?" "AND THERE'S THE LIGHT FROM THE HALLWAY." "ANDI REMEMBERSEEING, YOUKNOW," "YOURTRADITIONALDARKNESS, YOUR,YOUKNOW," "EVERYTHINGKINDOF EXISTS INSHADOWS." "IMEAN,IT ALLLOOKSLIKE  IT'SMOVING." "ALLTHEDARKNESSLOOKSALIVE." "BUTI REMEMBERSEEING..." "PEOPLE,BEINGS,WHATEVER, JUSTCOMINGIN ." "THEYJUST-- THEYLOOK" "THEYLOOKLIKEA" "IFA PERSONWERETOWALK  INFRONTOF ALIGHT," "ANDTHEIRSHADOW WERETOFOLLOWTHEM," "THEYLOOKEDLIKEANALMOST" "MORESHADOW-LIKEVERSION OFA SHADOW." "LIKE" " AND KIND OF..." "JUST..." "DIDN'T DO ANYTHING." "LIKE, I REMEMBER NOW, UM," "THAT THEY WOULD" " THEY JUST-- SHADOWS MOVING IN," "LIKE,THEYWOULD KINDOFINTERSECTTHE LIGHT." "IACTUALLY" "IREMEMBERTHIS  KINDOFWELLNOW ," "BECAUSEI WASON  THISWEIRDTILT," "SO IT WASN'T JUST ME LOOKING UP," "OR, LIKE, BEING ABLE TO KIND OF SEE AROUND." "THIS WAS ME LOOKING STRAIGHT AT THE DOOR." "ANDJUSTSEEINGTHESETHINGS." "IREMEMBERIN THEPARALYSIS, ITHOUGHTTHATTHEYWERE REAL ." "I ALWAYS THINK THEY'RE REAL." "EVEN TO THIS DAY, I THINK THESE THINGS ARE REAL" "IN SOME SENSE, UM..." "BUT WHEN I WOKE UP, THEY WEREN'T THERE." "IT WAS DEFINITELY THE FIRST TIME" "THAT I SAW SOMETHING THAT MADE THINK" "THAT THIS WAS MORE THAN JUST A SLEEP DISORDER." "I DO REMEMBER IT HAPPENING" "AS FAR BACK AS WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL." "AS FAR BACK AS MAYBE FIVE OR SIX YEARS OLD." "ANDTHEN THESAMETHINGHAPPENED" "WHENI WASABOUT15." "DURING THAT TIME, I WAS A REBELLIOUS TEENAGER," "SO I WAS REALLY OUT OF CONTROL AND FEELING, LIKE," "UNLOVEDANDSTUFF." "IDON'TKNOWHOW  IGOTTHATWAY ," "BUTITWASKINDOFLIKE ABROKENNESSINSIDE," "LIKE,I WASJUSTBROKEN, SPIRITUALLYBROKEN." "ANDTHATTIME," "IWASIN ATWO-STORYHOME  INTORRANCE," "THECITYOF TORRANCE." "ITWASIN THEMIDDLE OFTHENIGHT," "BUTI WASWIDEAWAKE." "IWASLITERALLYWIDEAWAKE." "MYEYESWEREOPEN." "BUTI COULDNOWFEEL THISPRESENCE," "THISEVILPRESENCEBEHINDME." "LYING ON MY SIDE, LIKE ON MY LEFT SIDE" "I'M A SIDE SLEEPER" "AND THEN THE DOOR IS BEHIND ME." "AND" "ANDTHEN ICOULDFEELTHE PRESENCE" "JUSTRIGHTBEHINDME." "ANDI REMEMBER JUSTTRYINGTO" "WANTINGTOMOVE ANDTURNAROUND," "BUTI COULDNOTLIFTAFINGER." "AGAIN,ITWAS-- IWASJUSTFROZEN..." "UTTERLYINTERROR." "ANDITWASTHE" "IFI COULDDESCRIBE WHATDEATHWOULDFEELLIKE" "AND IT'S A KIND OF HORROR" "THAT IS WORSE THAN LIKE IN THE MOVIES." "UM, IT'S AN ICY-COLD, KIND OF DARK" "EVILSOMETHING'SIN THEROOM," "ANDIT'SWATCHINGME." "THAT'STHESCARYPART." "THATYOUFEELASENSE THATIT'SWATCHINGYOU ." "ANDIT'S" "ANDIT'S" "AND IT'S MAKING YOU FEEL AFRAID." "AND IT WANTS YOU TO FEEL AFRAID." "I WAS A YEAR AND A HALF OLD, PROBABLY." "AND I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN RURAL VERMONT" "IN AN OLD FARMHOUSE ABOUT 100, 100-PLUS YEARS OLD," "AND I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS." "UM, SO IT WAS VERY DARK AND VERY QUIET," "JUSTPITCHSILENCE," "WHICH,YOUKNOW, ITSELFKINDOF HASASOUND." "UM, AND" "SO HERE I AM, I'M A BABY." "I WAKE UP AND I CAN'T MOVE." "I'M IN MY CRIB." "AND SO I'M SURROUNDED BY THE BARS" "OF THE CRIB ON ALL SIDES." "AND ABOVE ME, AT THE END OF THE CRIB," "BEFORE THE WINDOW," "ARETWOANTHROPOMORPHIC..." "KINDOF,BEINGS,IGUESS." "UH, BEST WORD TO DESCRIBE THEM." "I STILL REMEMBER THEM VIVIDLY" "BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY MY FIRST MEMORY." "SO IN A WAY," "IT'S KIND OF MY AWAKENING INTO THE WORLD." "DARK." "THEY ALWAYS JUST LOOK SO CARTOONY." "I'VE TRIED TO DRAW THEM BEFORE, AND IT JUST LOOKS SO GOOFY." "IT JUST DOESN'T HAVE, UH, THE SAME MALEVOLENT IMPACT." "AND THEIR SKIN, UM," "WAS LIKE TELEVISION STATIC." "UM, YOU KNOW, IT HAD, YOU KNOW" "LIKE AN OLD TV, WHEN THE SIGNAL'S" "WHEN YOU'RE NOT GETTING A GOOD SIGNAL." "IT HAD THAT SAME KIND OF TEXTURE," "THATKINDOF" "THEY WERE TALL, KIND OF THIN," "THESE KIND OF THIN LIMBS AND THESE LONG FINGERS." "AND THEY HAD THESE VERY SIMPLE FACES," "ALMOST CARTOONISH FACES OF, YOU KNOW," "THESE TWO INKY EYES AND THIS BIG INKY SMILE" "ON THEIR FACE THAT'S KIND OF" "IT'S TICKLING, TICKLING, TICKLING FINGERS," "THESE, LIKE, LONG, SLENDER" "THEY WERE LAUGHING." "AND HERE'S MY LITTLE FEET, YOU KNOW." "THEY WERE TICKLING ME." "AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS PARALYZED." "I COULDN'T MOVE, AND I COULDN'T STOP THEM." "ANDTHEYWERELAUGHING ABOUTIT." "THERE WAS KIND OF LIKE LAUGHTER." "LIKE, AH-HA-HA." "THEY WERE, LIKE, THERE, YOU KNOW?" "AND BARS," "THESE TWO ANTHROPOMORPHIC THINGS, THE WINDOWS." "YOU KNOW, ACCORDING TO MY PARENTS" "BUTI KEPTON REPEATING THEWORDS"ZINES."" "LIKE, Z-I-N-E-S, OVER AND OVER AGAIN" "IN LIKE KIND OF A PANIC." "KIND OF LIKE, "ZINES, ZINES, ZINES,"" "YOU KNOW, LIKE, HANGING ON TO THEM." "AND SO MAYBE AS A CHILD, YOU KNOW," "SEEING THESE KIND OF ANTHROPOMORPHIC" "SORT OF NOT HUMAN BUT HUMAN-- UH..." "SO I WOULDN'T SLEEP IN MY CRIB AGAIN." "MY PARENTS TRIED TO PUT ME IN MY CRIB," "AND I JUST WOULDN'T DO IT." "I WOULD JUST SCREAM AND SCREAM" "AND SCREAM AND SCREAM AND SCREAM." "I MADE THIS AS A HALLOWEEN COSTUME" "SOME YEARS AGO." "NOW YOU'RE STARING INTO MY CHILDHOOD RIGHT NOW." "I DON'T KNOW." "IS IT SCARY?" "DIDYOUSEEKANY MEDICALHELP ?" "NO, BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING CRAZY." "I KNEW WHAT I WAS EXPERIENCING WAS REAL." "I DIDN'T WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO COME AND TELL ME," ""WELL, NO, THAT'S NOT REAL."" "DIDYOUSEEKANY KINDOFHELP?" "DIDYOUTRYTODOANYTHING TOKEEPIT FROMHAPPENING?" "DID I GET AN EXORCIST?" "NO, I DID A GOOGLE SEARCH." "IGOTON THEINTERNET VERYEARLY" "COMPAREDTOMOSTPEOPLE, INABOUT'94MAYBE." "I'MTOTALLYGUESSING." "'94,' 95." "ANDONEOF THEVERY FIRSTTHINGSILOOKEDUP," "WAS" THESHADOWMAN" AND" NIGHTMARE."" "AND FROM THERE, IN THE SEARCH ENGINES," "IT WASN'T VERY FAR DOWN THE PAGE" " SLEEP PARALYSIS." "IWASLIKE,WAIT, SLEEPFROZEN,SLEEPPARALYSIS." "ANDI CALLEDMY MOMUP RIGHTAWAY." "ISAID,"OH,MYGOSH ,MOM,  IT'SSLEEPPARALYSIS." "THAT'SWHATTHEYCALLIT." "IT'SA THING."" "SHE WAS VERY EXCITED, TOO," "AND SHE WANTED TO UNDERSTAND MORE ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE FELT" "THAT MAYBE SOMETHING MEDICAL COULD BE DONE" "SO THAT WE NO LONGER HAD IT." "BECAUSE WHEN THE SCIENTISTS FIGURE IT OUT," "THEY FIGURE OUT A MEDICINE TO GO WITH IT, RIGHT?" "SO WE FELT THAT WE WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE ANSWERS" "AND MEDICATION OR SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER." "I CALLED A DOCTOR AND MADE AN APPOINTMENT" "AND CAME IN, AND EXPLAINED TO THEM WHAT WAS GOING ON," "AND MY DOCTOR SAID-- SHE WAS KIND OF CONCERNED" "THAT MAYBE I WAS HAVING SEIZURES WHILE I WAS SLEEPING." "SO SHE SET ME UP FOR A CAT SCAN, AN EEG AND ALL THAT." "SO I WENT IN FOR THOSE," "AND MY RESULTS FOR THE CAT SCAN WERE NORMAL," "BUT THE EEG CAME BACK WITH-- SAID I HAD ABNORMAL RESULTS." "THAT'S ALL SHE SAID." ""YOU HAVE SOME ABNORMAL READINGS." ""YOU HAVE SLEEP PARALYSIS." "IT'S JUST CAUSED BY STRESS." "SO IF YOU JUST MAKE SOME LIFESTYLE CHANGES," "IT'LL GO AWAY."" "WELL, YOU GET A CUT-AND-PASTE ANSWER FROM DOCTORS," ""YOU'RE STRESSED." "CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE,"" "WITHOUT ASKING WHAT YOUR LIFESTYLE IS." "THERE'S NO ANSWER." "IT'S JUST A DISMISSAL OF-- BASICALLY, THEY DON'T KNOW." "AND IF THEY DON'T KNOW," "THEN THEY DON'T-- THEY DON'T CARE." "EVERY TIME I WOULD TALK TO A PSYCHIATRIST, I'D BE LIKE," ""I'M HAVING THIS SLEEP PROBLEM." "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS." "THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE." THEY'D BE LIKE, "OKAY, OKAY." "TELL ME ABOUT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, HOW ARE YOU DOING AT HOME?"" "AND I WOULD ALWAYS TRY TO BE LIKE, "NO, NO, NO," "LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS HIDEOUS SLEEP PROBLEM I HAVE."" "SHE SEEMED REALLY INTERESTED." "SHE SORT OF LEANS IN." "AND SHE'S LIKE, "IT'S NOT SLEEP APNEA."" "AND I WAS LIKE, "I KNOW THAT."" "AND SHE JUST SAID, "THAT'S REALLY MESSED UP."" "IREMEMBER,LIKE, THEFOLLOWINGNIGHT" "AFTERITWOULDHAPPEN, I'DLAYIN BEDBEINGSOSCARED" "THAT IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN." "ANDTHEN,MOSTASSUREDLY, ITWOULDHAPPENAGAIN" "'CAUSEI WASTHINKINGABOUTIT ANDOBSESSINGABOUTIT." "LIKE, WHEN I'D GO THROUGH THESE DRY SPELLS," "BASICALLY, WHERE I WASN'T HAVING IT," "IF I STARTED TELLING SOMEBODY ABOUT IT," "THEN IT WAS, LIKE, ALMOST 100% GUARANTEED" "THAT I WAS GONNA HAVE IT THAT NIGHT." "THIS IS IN OUR COLLEGE APARTMENT." "OKAY." " SO, I WAS HERE." "IHADMY BEDRIGHTHERE ..." "ANDTHENMY ROOMMATE WASRIGHTHERE." "ANDTHEBLOBS" "I SAW THESE BLACK BLOBS" "ICOULDSEETHEM." "BLOBSOFBLACK, COMINGONTOMY BED." "ANDI COULDSEEMYROOMMATE, JUSTINTHECORNEROVER THERE," "ANDI WASTRYING TOSCREAMHERNAME" "SOTHATSHECOULDHELP ME." "ANDSHE'SSLEEPINGAWAY, ANDI 'MSTRAININGTO TALK." "ANDNOTHINGCANCOMEOUT." "I'MA DIVER, ANDI 'VEEXPERIENCED" "WELL,BEENCLOSETODEATH QUITEA FEWTIMES." "I'M A DEEP DIVER, BUT NOTHING'S AS TERRIFYING," "AS WHAT HAPPENS," "AND I HAVE IT ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK." "WHENI WASABOUT10 ISWHENIT STARTEDTOHAPPEN," "EVERYSINGLESOLITARYDAY  OFMYLIFE." "NOBODY EVER REALLY TOOK ME ENTIRELY SERIOUSLY, YOU KNOW," "EVEN THOUGH I WAS A PETRIFIED LITTLE BOY," "YOU KNOW, TERRIFIED TO BE ALONE, HATED MY BEDROOM," "HATED THE ROOM BELOW MY BEDROOM, AND HAD SLEEP PARALYSIS" "PROBABLYEVERYNIGHT." "YOUKNOW, HADVOICESTALKINGTOME" "IN THE SLEEP PARALYSIS, VERY ABUSIVE EXPERIENCES." "HEY,FORREST." " HEY, FORREST." " HEY, FORREST." "YOUJUSTWONTHE  GIANT INSECT OF THE MONTH CLUB." "INSECTOFTHEMONTHCLUB ." "WE'RESENDINGYOURFIRSTPRIZE UPTOYOURBEDROOMRIGHTNOW." "YOU KNOW, AND AGAIN, IT GOES BACK TO THE FACT THAT," "YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT WASN'T LIKE A REAL EXPERIENCE" "IF SOMEBODY HAD COME INTO MY BEDROOM," "AND SOME CREEPY GUY WAS WHISPERING TO ME EVERY NIGHT," "YOU KNOW, MY PARENTS WOULD DEFINITELY" "HAVE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT," "BUT THE FARTHEST THEY WENT WAS KIND OF BEING LIKE," ""WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE HIM TO A PSYCHOLOGIST?" "NO."" "IWASTRYINGTOFALL ASLEEP." "IFELTTHISOVERWHELMING PRESSURECOMEOVERME." "AND MY BREATHING JUST STOPPED." "MYBODYWASTRYING TOKINDOF TELLME," ""I'MGONNAKILLMYSELFNOW." "ANDYOUHAVETHE OPTION TOSTOPTHAT."" "IFI WANTTO CONTINUE TOBREATHE," "IHAVETO ACTIVELYOVERRIDE WHATEVERELSEIS GOINGON." "IHAVETWOOPTIONS" "EITHERTRYTO BREAKFREE OFTHEPARALYSIS" "ORI BREATHE." "YOU KNOW, THAT WAS KIND OF THE BEGINNING," "AND THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF ME BEING AFRAID OF," "NOT GOING TO SLEEP, BUT, YOU KNOW," "I WOULD JUST PRESSURE MYSELF, TO WAIT TILL EXHAUSTION" "TO FALL ASLEEP, FOR THE MOST PART," "'CAUSE AFTER THAT, IT JUST NEVER STOPPED," "UM..." "KIND OF EVER." "I'LLGETIT  JUSTABOUTANYWHERE." "SOME PLACES WILL BE MUCH WORSE." "ANDTHEVOICE ISDIFFERENTBY PLACE." "UM..." "I HAD AN APARTMENT IN BOSTON." "I LIVED IN JAMAICA PLAIN IN BOSTON FOR A WHILE" "ABOVE A PIZZA PLACE," "AND I WOULD ALWAYS HEAR THIS MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN" "SINGING IN A BABY'S VOICE THERE," "THIS GRADUALLY FADED AWAY" "UNTIL I PRETTY MUCH ALMOST FORGOT" "I HAD EVER EXPERIENCED IT." "AND I..." "THOUGHT I WAS GOOD, FINALLY OVER." "IT WAS JUST A PHASE I WAS GOING THROUGH," "AND NOW IT'S DONE." "ONE AFTERNOON, I WAS UP DOING HOUSEWORK," "AND WAS KIND OF TIRED," "AND I FIGURED I'LL LAY DOWN AND TAKE A NAP," "BECAUSE I'M GONNA GO OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS LATER ON TONIGHT." "SO I WENT, LAID DOWN," "AND SET THE ALARM ON MY PHONE, CHECKED, SAW THE TIME," "ANDJUSTKINDOFTHREWIT ONTHENIGHTSTANDNEXTTOME ," "AND JUST LAID DOWN." "AND..." "AS I STARTED TO FALL ASLEEP," "I FELT, LIKE, THIS TINGLING SENSATION COME OVER ME," "AND SINCE I HAD BEEN DEALING WITH IT SO LONG," "IT WAS KIND OF LIKE A FAMILIAR FEELING," "ITWASLIKETHE WARNINGSIGN ," ""OKAY,SLEEPPARALYSIS ISABOUTTO HAPPEN."" "LIKE, MY BODY WOULD TINGLE, START TO FEEL HEAVY." "I'D SEE, LIKE, ALL THESE PIXILATED COLORS," "AND SO I SET MYSELF UP TO WAKE MYSELF UP," "KIND OF SHAKE IT OFF." "SO THEN..." "IT FELT LIKE IT WENT AWAY." "SO I JUST, LIKE, PICKED UP MY PHONE," "LOOKED AT THE TIME, OKAY, LAID BACK DOWN" "AND STARTED GOING TO SLEEP." "AND JUST AS I FELL ASLEEP, MY PHONE RANG." "  AND SO I LAID THERE FORA SECOND." "IWASLIKE,"DO IANSWERIT, DON'TI ANSWERIT ?"" "JUSTFELLASLEEP," "ANDNOWSOMEBODY'S WAKINGMEUP ." "SOFINALLY,IGAVEIN ANDI ANSWEREDIT ." "IGRABBEDMY PHONE." ""HELLO?"" "WHENI DIDTHAT," "THEPERSONON THEOTHEREND OFTHELINESAID,"HELLO,"" "THEY SAID SOMETHING ELSE I COULDN'T REALLY MAKE OUT" "'CAUSE IT WAS ALL STATICKY AND CUTTING OUT." "SOI SAID, "ICAN'TUNDERSTANDYOU ." "YOU'REBREAKINGUP ." "THERE'SA BADCONNECTION."" "ISAID,"HELLO,"AGAIN, ANDI WASLIKE," ""YOU'REBREAKINGUP ." "ICAN'T,LIKE,HEARYOU. "" "ANDSO,FINALLYI" "TRYINGTOMAKEOUT WHAT THEYWERESAYINGAND WHATNOT." "ANDI DECIDEDI'MUP." "I'MGONNAGO GETACIGARETTE." "SO, I GOT UP," "JUST TALKING TO HIM, LIKE, "HELLO, HELLO?"" "ANDTHENFINALLYI'D WALKED OUTINTOTHELIVINGROOM ," "AND JUST AS I GOT OUT IN THE LIVING ROOM," "ITBECAME-- THECONNECTIONCLEAREDUP" "AND THE PERSON ON THE OTHER END WAS THIS VERY PLEASANT MAN." "HE WAS LIKE, "HELLO." "IWASWONDERING IFYOUCOULDDOMEAFAVOR. "" "WHAT KIND OF FAVOR?" "LETMEIN ." "IFREAKEDOUT." "IWAS,LIKE,THERE'SADEMON  ONTHEOTHEREND OFMYPHONE ." "IWANTEDNOTHINGTO DOWITHTHIS." "SOI THREWMY PHONE ACROSSTHEROOM" "ANDITBROKEINTOPIECES," "THENEVERYTHINGAROUNDME JUSTWENTINTOCOMPLETECHAOS." "THENJUSTLIKE-- ALMOSTLIKEAN EARTHQUAKEHIT ." "LIKE,EVERYTHINGWASSHAKING ANDDARK." "MYWHOLEBODY STARTEDVIBRATING." "ITFELTLIKE SOMETHINGWASTRYING" "TORIPME OUTOFMYSELF, KINDOFLIKEPULLMYSOULOUT." "YOUKNOW, JUSTTRYINGTO PROCESSTHIS," "LIKE,WHAT'SGOINGON,  YOUKNOW," "JUSTABSOLUTELYTERRIFIED." "ANDSOTHEONLYTHING ICOULDTHINKTODO" "WASI JUSTSTARTEDPRAYING." "IWAS,LIKE,"GOD, IFYOU'RETHERE,HELPME." "IDON'TKNOWWHAT'SHAPPENING." "JUST,PLEASE, SOMEBODYHELPME ."" "ANDASSOONASI SAID THAT ," "I FELT LIKE SOMEBODY JUST GRABBED ME FROM BEHIND," "JUST, LIKE, YANKED ME BACK, LIKE, DOWN THE HALL," "AND JUST, LIKE, SLAMMED ME BACK INTO MY BODY." "AND, LIKE, I HIT MY BODY," "AND I, LIKE, SAT UP INSTANTLY AND, LIKE, LOOKED AROUND," "AND WAS LIKE, "DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?" "WAS THAT REAL?"" "AND SO THE FIRST THING I DID WAS GRAB MY PHONE, YOU KNOW." "I'M LIKE LOOKING THROUGH, "OKAY, WHO DID I JUST TALK TO?"" "AND, LIKE, NO-- THERE WAS NO MISSED CALLS" "OR NO ANSWERED CALLS OR NOTHING, AND I LOOKED AT THE TIME," "AND IT HAD ONLY BEEN, LIKE, TWO MINUTES" "SINCE I INITIALLY LAID DOWN TO GO TO SLEEP." "UM, I DID TELL MY MOM," "AND SHE JUST KIND OF TOLD ME I'M NUTS." "SHE'S LIKE, "IT WAS A BAD DREAM." "IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME."" ""NO, MOM." "IT WASN'T A DREAM."" "IWASIN SEVENTH OREIGHTHGRADE," "ABOUT' 87OR'88." "ANDI SAW"A NIGHTMARE ONELMSTREET"" "WITHMYMOTHER, THANKGOODNESS,ON CABLE." "ANDSHEWASLIKE, "OH,MYGOSH!" "THISISLIKEOUR DREAMS," AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I KNOW."" "SOWEDEFINITELYAGREED ONTHAT." "ANDI KEPTWATCHINGITBECAUSE IWANTEDTO FINDSOMECLUES," "SOMEANSWER TOWHATWASGOINGON." "ANDOFCOURSE,THEYMENTION ALITTLEBITOFMYTH" "INTHEMOVIEBUT NOT ENOUGH TOREALLYRESEARCH." "DID YOU EVER READ ABOUT THE BALINESE WAY OF DREAMING?" "NO." "THEY GOT THIS WHOLE SYSTEM THEY CALL DREAM SKILLS." "THEY GET ALL THEIR ART AND LITERATURE FROM DREAMS," "JUST WAKE UP AND WRITE IT DOWN." "DREAMSKILLS." "WHAT IF THEY MADE A MONSTER IN THEIR DREAMS, THEN WHAT?" "WHEN I WAS" " YOU KNOW, WE HAD HBO WHEN I WAS LITTLE," "AND MY DAD WAS VERY LIBERAL WITH LETTING US" "WATCH WHATEVER WE WANTED TO WATCH ON HBO." "ONCEHEWASWATCHINGAMOVIE , AND I JUST KIND OF WANDERED IN." "IDIDN'TREALLYKNOW WHATTHEMOVIEWAS ." "ANDTHENTHIS,UH..." "CREATUREEMERGES FROMBEHINDADRESSER." "ANDIT'SLIKE-- IT'SANALIEN." "ANDIT'SLIKETHE-- ITWASTHEMOVIE"COMMUNION,"" "WITH-- WHAT'SHISFACE?" "THEGUY WHOWASIN THEDANCINGVIDEO." "IDON'TKNOW." "CHRISTOPHERWALKEN." "YEAH,EXACTLY." "CHRISTOPHERWALKEN." "ANDWHENISAW THATFACE ..." "MYMINDIMMEDIATELYDREW APARALLEL" "TO THE THINGS I HAD EXPERIENCED ASA CHILD," "ANDI WASPETRIFIED." "IREMEMBER JUSTBEINGPETRIFIED." "AND-- ANDTHEN,YOUKNOW" "BUTI STAYEDWATCHING ASTHIS,LIKE,LITTLEKID." "AND,YOUKNOW, THESEIMAGESIREMEMBER" "ASINCREDIBLYSHOCKINGIMAGES TOME,AS ACHILD." "BECAUSEITWAS THEFIRSTTIME" "THATTHEKINDOFTHINGS THATI HADSEEN" "ALIGNEDWITHSOMETHINGTHAT" "THATWASKNOWNABOUT ORWASEXPLORED." "A BUNCH OF PEOPLE CAME OVER, AND THEY'RE LIKE," ""LET'S WATCH THIS 'INSIDIOUS' MOVIE."" "AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, SURE, WHY NOT?" "I DON'T CARE," AND, LIKE-- ABOUT 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE," "I'MLIKE,"THISISABOUTSLEEP  PARALYSIS,I 'MPRETTYSURE."" "IWASLIKE,"ALLRIGHT, THAT'SKINDOF COOL." "SOMEBODYMADE AHORRORMOVIEABOUTIT."" "WHEN, YOU KNOW, THE DUDE'S, LIKE, IN THE CHAIR," "HE JUST GOES INTO THIS WORLD, AND HE'S SEARCHING FOR THE KID." "THEY'REPULLINGFROM SOMANYDIFFERENTPARTS" "OFSLEEPPARALYSISLORE." "THESHADOWMAN." "IKEPTLEAVINGMYBODY ." "THENIGHTHAG." "THEOLDHAG." "I SAT THERE AND, LIKE, JUST KIND OF GETTING ANNOYED." "I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY." "IT WASN'T LIKE, "THIS MOVIE SUCKS!"" "I MEAN, IT WAS-- IT WAS OKAY." "AND THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN," "THEY DO, LIKE, THE HEAD SHAKING THING," "LIKE THIS, LIKE, WEIRD" "IT WAS IN "JACOB'S LADDER," AND IT FREAKED ME OUT." "I WAS LIKE, "THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS."" "AND THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER" "I SAW SOMEBODY REPRESENT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE" "OR I GUESS, NOT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE" "WHAT IT FEELS LIKE IT LOOKS LIKE TO BE IN IT," "LIKE WHEN I'M COMING OUT, LIKE, SOMETIMES" "MYJAWWILL,LIKE," "JUSTFUCKINGGO BACK ANDFORTHREALQUICK," "OR,LIKE,MY HEADWILLSHOOT FROMSIDETO SIDE." "ANDIT'SWHATIIMAGINE ITLOOKSLIKE." "EVENMYGIRLFRIEND, SHEWASLIKE," "YOU KNOW, "THOSE WEIRD HEAD MOVEMENTS," "LIKE, THAT'S KIND OF WHAT IT'S LIKE FOR ME TO WATCH," "YOU KNOW, EXCEPT NOT MAGICALLY BLURRY."" "THAT'S THE SLEEP PARALYSIS." "HEY, IT'S GOT TO BE." "YEAH,I HADMY OWN SLEEPPARALYSISEPISODE," "AND,WELL,IN THATONE , ITWASSORTOFLIKE ACLASSIC" "THREE-DIMENSIONAL, BLACKSHADOWMAN," "WHOCAMEUP IN THEWOODS BEHINDMYHOUSE," "LEANEDOVERMY BED." "ANDI THINK MAYBEA YEAROR TWOLATER," "ISAW"NATURALBORNKILLERS."" "ANDTHERE'SASCENE, AND IT GOES BY JUST IN A FLASH," "WHERETHATGUYIS, LIKE, INTHEOPENINGCREDITS," "COMINGTHROUGH,LIKE, THISSTRANGEREDTUNNEL," "CLOUDYVORTEXTHING." "ITHINKIT 'SOVERTHE CREDIT OF" PRODUCERARNONMILCHAN."" "BUTITWENTBYINAFLASH," "ANDITMUSTHAVEBEEN  KINDOFCOMPLICATED" "TOCALLINTOEXISTENCE." "SOI WASLIKE, "WHYWASTHATTHERE?"" "ANDI STILLDIDN'TKNOW WHATSLEEPPARALYSISWAS ." "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ANYONE ELSE HAD HAD IT." "SO I SAW THAT AND ALMOST KIND OF TOOK IT AS A MESSAGE," "LIKE, "THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THIS FILM" "HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE THAT I DID."" "AND IT'S KIND OF LIKE A SIGNAL TO ME" "IN SOME-- SOME STRANGE, SCARY WAY." "NO, IT'S TRUE." "IT WAS KIND OF THE SAME AS A CHILD." "IT WAS VERY VALIDATING." "I NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS MY MIND PLAYING TRICKS ON ME." "I JUST KNEW SOMETHING BAD WAS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME." "AND I DIDN'T" " I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT." "I'VE PRAYED MY WHOLE LIFE." "I STILL PRAY." "I'M A VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON." "HOWEVER, PRAYING NEVER MADE IT GO AWAY," "EVEN WHEN I WAS WITHIN THE ATTACK." "I WOULD PRAY WITHIN THE ATTACK, AND STILL, NO HELP." "I STARTED EXERCISING, STARTED EATING BETTER," "CUT BACK ON CAFFEINE AND DOING ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF," "AND JUST NO MATTER WHAT I DID, THOUGH, IT WAS" "IT HAD ABSOLUTELY NO EFFECT ON THE SLEEP PARALYSIS," "AND IT JUST KEPT HAPPENING NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT." "I FINALLY DECIDED TO GO TO ONE OF THESE LADIES" "THAT READ CARDS, AND SHE SAYS," ""I CAN'T LOOK INTO YOUR HOUSE." "I'M TRYING TO LOOK INTO YOUR HOUSE," "BUT I SEE THIS BLACK SHADOW OVER IT."" "ITHOUGHT IWASABDUCTEDBYALIENS" "FORA LONGTIME,YEARS, YEARSANDYEARSAND YEARS." "BEFOREI WENTTO BED EVERYNIGHT," "IWOULDLAYINMYBED ANDCLOSEMY EYES" "ANDJUSTPRAY, "NOTTONIGHT,NOTTONIGHT," "NOTTONIGHT,NOTTONIGHT, NOTTONIGHT,NOTTONIGHT."" "AND I WOULD JUST REPEAT IT OVER ANDOVERANDOVERINMY HEAD," "ASIFIHAD SOME KINDOFPSYCHICBOND" "WITHMYALIENABDUCTORS" "ANDTHATICOULDCOMMUNICATE WITHTHEMTELEPATHICALLY," "ANDJUSTPLEADWITHTHEM , TOMAKETONIGHTNOT THE NIGHT" "THATTHEYWOULDCOMEBACK  ANDDOTHATTOME." "OVERTHEYEARS, IWOULDFIND" "DIFFERENTMECHANISMS TOAVOIDSLEEPPARALYSIS." "INOTICEDTHATITWOULDN'T HAPPENEVERYNIGHT" "IFCERTAINREQUIREMENTS WEREMET," "LIKE,IFIWOULD" "LIKE,THEREWOULDBE, LIKE, ATVIN MY ROOM." "ANDIFILEFTITON , FORSOMEREASON" "ITWASEASIERFOR MENOT TOGETHITBYTHEPARALYSIS." "AND, YOU KNOW, YOUNGER ME THOUGHT IT WAS" "MAYBE THAT LITTLE HIGH-PITCHED NOISE," "TVs MAKE WHEN YOU LEAVE THEM ON," "SO I WOULD LEAVE IT ON OVERNIGHT ON MUTE" "FOR THAT LITTLE HIGH-PITCHED NOISE." "EVENTUALLY,THATSTOPPED WORKINGAFTERABOUTAYEAR ." "SOI DECIDED, LIKE," YOUKNOWWHAT?" "IFONETV WORKED, WHATABOUTTWO?"" "ANDI USEDTO COLLECTJUNK, SOTVs,LIKE,WEREPLENTIFUL." "ANDTWOWORKED FORA LITTLEWHILE." "ANDI JUSTESCALATED WITHTHATFORAWHILE," "'CAUSEI 'MPRETTYSMART, APPARENTLY." "NO,ITMADEMELOOK LIKE  ACRAZYPERSONUNTILONEDAY," "IREALIZEDTHAT EVENIFTHISWAS APROBLEM," "THISWASNOTAFUNCTIONALWAY OF,LIKE,DEALINGWITHIT." "SO I JUST REMOVED ALL THE TVs AT THAT POINT FROM MY ROOM," "AND, YOU KNOW, ALL IT DID WAS LEAVE ME" "WITH A MUCH STRONGER AND MORE ELABORATE SLEEP PARALYSIS." "AND THAT'S KIND OF THE THING THAT I'VE REALIZED" "IS IF YOU HAVE IT EVERY DAY" "AND YOU HAVE MULTIPLE EPISODES A DAY," "IT WILL KIND OF LEARN HOW TO ADAPT TO YOU." "LIKE, IF YOU TRY TO, LIKE, AVOID IT, IT WILL FIND YOU," "AND IT WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN SOMEHOW." "AND ANOTHER TIME," "I ACTUALLY FELT IT GO ON THE BED." "YOU KNOW, IT WAS AS IF IT'S CLIMBING UP." "I WAS LAYING THERE, AND IT CAME HERE." "I JUST CLOSED MY EYES." "ANDITWASONTOPOFME," "AND IT WAS" "IT'S LIKE I WAS HAVING SEX WITH THIS THING." "AND I SAID, "OH, MY GOD, THIS CAN'T BE REAL." "THIS CAN'T BE REAL."" "THIS DEMONIC THING, AND I DON'T KNOW," "WHY AM I FEELING THIS?" "WHAT ELSE IS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT?" "BUT IT HAPPENED." "DIDYOUSEEANYTHING?" "I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING." "IT WAS JUST THE FEELING." "AND THEN IT WAS GONE AGAIN." "A LOT OF FIRSTS ALL HAPPENED IN ONE NIGHT." "WHEN THE PAIN STARTED HAPPENING," "THE HALLUCINATIONS GOT MORE VIVID," "AND I STARTED TO BE ABLE TO BE INTERACTED WITH." "ANDI GODIRECTLYINTOTHIS  VERY,YOUKNOW,LUCIDDREAM." "IREMEMBERTHEARCHITECTURE OFTHISWORLD," "OFTHISDREAM, ITWASJUSTVERYANGULAR," "ANDI 'MJUST KINDOFWALKINGONIT." "THEREWERE,LIKE,STAIRS THATWENTDOWNTOPLACES" "THATTHEYSHOULDHAVETHOUGHT OUTA LITTLEBITBETTER." "ASI WASWALKINGAROUND," "IREMEMBERAKID  THATI WASFRIENDSWITH" "GROWINGUP INELEMENTARYSCHOOL," "MYONLYFRIEND FROMELEMENTARYSCHOOL" "COMESUPTO ME , ANDHISNAMEWAS DANNY." "ANDBEHINDHIM ISTHISGIGANTICDUDE" "WITHREALLYCRAZY ORANGEHAIR." "ANDDANNYSAYS,"THISISHIM." "CANI GONOW?"" "ANDHEJUSTLEAVES THEGUYWITHME." "ANDHEREPEATS, "YOUKNOWWHOIAM . "" "ISTARTTHINKINGOFLIKE , IDON'TKNOWYOU ,IDON'T." "ISTARTLISTINGPLACES." ""DOI KNOWYOUFROMSCHOOL?" ""DOI KNOWYOU FROMMcDONALD'S?"" "'CAUSEI USEDTO WORK ATMcDONALD'S." ""DOI REMEMBERYOUFROM THECOMICBOOKDEPOT?"" "WHICHWASMY COMICBOOKSTORE." "ANDHEJUSTKEEPSONGOING ," ""NO." "BUTYOUKNOWWHOI AM. "  ONELASTTIME." "ANDTHENTHEENTIREWORLD JUSTDISAPPEARS," "ANDI 'MINTHESTRONGEST SLEEP-PARALYSISEPISODE" "I'VEEVERHADINMYLIFE." "LIKE,I CANNOTMOVE." "LIKE,I CAN'TEVEN TRYTOFORCEMYSELFOUTOFIT." "LIKE,THATLITTLEWIGGLEROOM  IGETSOMETIMES" "JUSTWASN'TTHERE." "ANDITFELTLIKE IWASCOMPLETELYCONSTRAINED," "YOUKNOW,FULLY," "TOTHEPOINTWHERE I'MJUSTTRYINGTOBREATHE," "BECAUSEI DON'TKNOW WHATELSETO DO ." "IMMEDIATELYAFTERTHAT DREAMDROPS," "ANDEVERYTHING'SGONE, HEKINDOF FIZZLESAWAY." "ANDTHISWASTHE FIRST EXPERIENCEWITHPAIN." "IFI HADTO DESCRIBEIT," "PICTURELIKE ACLAW-MACHINEGAME." "YOUKNOW,THREE-- THREELITTLETHINGS." "AND THAT'S WHEN THE PAIN STARTS COMING." "THE WORST ONE IS WHEN IT'S AROUND, LIKE," "YOU KNOW, MY FUCKING DICK." "ANDI STILLFELTTHE PAIN AFTERI WOKEUP ." "IDIDNOTGO BACKTOSLEEPTHATNIGHT," "IREMEMBER, ANDI THINKIJUSTPLAYED" "VIDEOGAMES UNTILTHEMORNING" "ANDKINDOF QUESTIONED MYEXISTENCE." "LIKE,I JUSTREMEMBER BEINGLIKE," ""ANDTHISIS DIFFERENTNOW , ANDNOWIT HURTS," "ANDNOWTHERE'S ADUDETALKINGTOME."" "AND,LIKE,I- " "THAT WAS KIND OF WHEN I STARTED TOFEELALITTLECRAZY." "LIKE,I STARTEDTO FEELLIKE SOMETHING WAS DEFINITELY WRONG." "WAS IT ME?" "MAYBE." "WAS IT SOMETHING SUPERNATURAL?" "MAYBE." "I IMMEDIATELY STOPPED BEING AN ATHEIST." "AND SOMETIMES THEY'RE VERY, UM..." "ARTICULATE," "LIKE THAT ONE WAS WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY," "AND THEY'LL BE LIKE, "OH, I CAN TALK TO YOU," "AND I KNOW YOUR NAME," AND THIS AND THAT." "AND SOMETIMES, THEY'RE JUST, LIKE, GOBBLEDYGOOKING," "JUST, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,"" "LIKE THEY DON'T HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO SPEAK ANYMORE." "WHENI WASOLDERAND  IWENTBACKTOTHEHOUSE" "ANDWASSTAYINGTHERE" "IMEAN,IHATED GOINGBACKTO THATHOUSE." "YOUKNOW,IHAD OTHER BADEXPERIENCESTHERE," "AND SO I HATED GOING BACK THERE." "I HATED SLEEPING THERE." "I WOULD USUALLY-- IF I GO BACK THERE AND VISIT," "ILEAVETHETVON" "BECAUSEIT'SJUSTSUCH ANOVERWHELMINGFORCE." "SO I FELL ASLEEP, AND I HAD THIS NIGHTMARE." "AND THEN I WOKE UP," "AND THEN I WOKE UP IN A SLEEP PARALYSIS." "ANDI WASLIKE, "OH,HMM,"YOUKNOW?" "BUTI WASSO PUTOFF  BYTHEDREAM" "THATI WASN'TIMMEDIATELY SHOCKEDBYTHESTATE" "OFSLEEPPARALYSIS, WHICH NORMALLY IS WHAT IT DOES." "ANDI CANKINDOFSEEIT OUTOFTHECORNEROFMY EYES," "THATTHEREWASTHISMAN" "STANDINGDOWN ATTHEENDOFMYBED," "KINDOFLIKE THISSCHLUMPYOLDMAN ." "THAT'S TOO YOUNG FOR SOME REASON." "MAYBE IT'S HIS POSTURE." "AND I'M LIKE, "HUH," LIKE, "THAT'S WEIRD."" "SOI 'MLYINGTHERE, ANDTHERE'STHISMAN" "DOWNATTHEEND OFTHEBED, ANDHESAYSTOME," "HESAYS,"FORREST..." "YOUJUSTCAMEALL OVER YOURMOTHER'SSHEETS."" "YOU JUST MASTURBATED ALL OVER YOUR MOTHER'S BED SHEETS." "YOU'RE DISGUSTING!" "A PERVERT." "AND I HAD NOT MASTURBATED THAT NIGHT, I WILL SAY." "BUT HIS VOICE WAS IMMEDIATELY FAMILIAR." "ASTHEVOICETHATTALKED TOMEAS ACHILD." "THESAMEVOICE." "ITWASLIKE" "IT WAS LIKE AS IF, YOU KNOW," "YOU GET A PHONE CALL FROM A RELATIVE" "OR SOMEBODY YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO IN A WHILE," "RUN INTO AN OLD FRIEND AND HEAR THEIR VOICE FIRST," "AND YOU RECOGNIZE THE VOICE." "YOU HAVEN'T HEARD IT FOR A LONG TIME." "BUTYOUKNOWIT." "IT'STHATPERSON." "ANDI HADTHATEXPERIENCE, I'MLIKE," ""OH,IT'STHATVOICE." "THATMAN."" "I'VESEENHIM TWOORTHREEMORETIMES" "INTHATPHYSICALINCARNATION." "BUTI 'VEALSOHAD,LIKE, TIMESWHEREI'VESEENPEOPLE," "THATHAVEAPPROACHEDME THESAMEWAY" "ANDI 'VEFELTLIKE, "YES,THAT'SHIM."" "LIKE,I-- ITWASADIFFERENTBODY ," "BUTITWASTHATSAME ENTITY THATWASTALKINGTOME." "WE HAD A FRIEND STAYING OVER." "WE HAD PEOPLE OVER THAT NIGHT," "AND WE HAD A ONE-BEDROOM TINY APARTMENT." "SO WE'RE ALL KIND OF CRAMMED INTO MY BED." "AND I REMEMBER I HAD..." "UM, GONE TO SLEEP." "YOUKNOW,THETWO GIRLS, THEYWEREASLEEP." "YOUKNOW, THEYWEREOUTLIKEALIGHT ." "ALMOSTIMMEDIATELY, THEPARALYSISHITS." "NORMALPARALYSIS." "COMPLETELYNORMAL." "YOUKNOW,SITUATION,LIKE, STEREOTYPICALDARKROOM," "BUTINTHIS, THERE'SA REALLYTALLENTITY," "LIKE,YOUKNOW,IFTHEROOM'S EIGHTFEETTALL," "HEISAN EIGHT-FOOT-TALLDUDE WITHA HUNCH." "LIKE,HEIS NOTFITTING INTHISROOM." "ANDTHEYWERERED EYES." "THISISWHATIREMEMBER." "ANDVERYMOTHMANTYPESHIT , ACTUALLY." "ANDITSTARTSTALKINGTOME ." "HEREPEATS, "YOUKNOWWHOIAM . "" "YOUKNOWWHOIAM ." "YOUDON'TKNOWWHO IAM ." "RIGHTNOW, BUTI KNOWYOU." "ANDYOUKNOWME." "YOU..." "ARE GOING TO DIE." "I JUST HAD THIS HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE," "YOU KNOW, AND, YOU KNOW, I BELIEVED IT." "I BELIEVED THAT THIS THING WAS TELLING ME" "IT WAS GONNA KILL ME." "I'M GOING TO DIE." "AND I'M SITTING HERE FEELING BAD FOR HER" "THAT SHE'S FREAKING OUT, AND I'M TRYING TO CALM HER DOWN." "I FIGURE OUT SHE HAS THIS-- I FIGURED SHE HAD A SLEEP TERROR" "OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, AND SHE'S TELLING ME" "THATONHERCHEST, SHE SAW SOMETHING ON HER CHEST," "ACATWITHRED EYES, ANDITWASLOOKINGATME" "ANDTALKINGIN ALANGUAGE THATSHECOULDN'TUNDERSTAND." "LIKE,ITWASONTOPOFHER  BUTTHREATENINGME ." "ANDTHESECONDSHE SAIDIT HADREDEYES," "I JUST, LIKED, FREAKED OUT." "LIKE, I WAS JUST-- I, LIKE" "I REMEMBER THIS WAS DURING A TIME OF MY LIFE" "WHERE I WAS LIKE, "MAYBE I AM CRAZY." "IT'S FINE."" "AND THEN THIS HAPPENED." "AND THEN IT IMMEDIATELY AFFIRMED I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE DEAD." "LIKE, I WAS LIKE, "OH, I'M GOING TO DIE."" "AND, LIKE, SHIT LIKE THAT IMMEDIATELY MAKES ME" "WANT TO BE LIKE, "FUCK, LIKE, REGULAR LIFE."" "LIKE-- SORRY ABOUT THE LANGUAGE." "WHEN THINGS LIKE THAT HAPPEN," "IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME TO BE LIKE," ""YEAH, I'M JUST GONNA GO GET A NORMAL JOB" "AND, LIKE, LIVE MY LIFE."" "LIKE, I'M LIKE, "I WANT TO FIGURE THIS OUT."" "ANYIDEA WHYITHAPPENSTOYOU" "MORETHANOTHERPEOPLE?" "I HAVE NO IDEA." "I MEAN, I GUESS, YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL PRESUMPTION," "BUT,YOUKNOW, YOUCOULDASSUME" "THATMAYBEIT HADSOMETHING TODO" "WITHBEINGSUCHAYOUNGCHILD ," "YOUKNOW,ANDHAVING SUCHA PROFOUNDEXPERIENCE." "YOUKNOW,IT 'SKINDOFLIKE  WHENYOUSEESOMETHING" "FORTHEFIRSTTIME, YOUKNOWWHATITIS." "YOUKNOW,YOUGOTOSEAWORLD ANDSEEAKILLERWHALE," "ANDYOU'VE NEVERSEENIT BEFORE," "ANDNOWYOUKNOW WHATA KILLERWHALEIS." "IREADTHEVERYFEW WEBSITESOUTTHEREABOUTIT," "ANDI DIDN'TREALLYLEARN ANYTHINGNEW," "EXCEPTFOR, THEREISACHEMICAL," "MELATONIN, THATGOESINTOYOURSYSTEM," "ANDISRELEASEDUPONSLEEP" "THAT'SSUPPOSED TOPARALYZEYOU." "ANDI WASLIKE,"OKAY, MAYBETHISCOULDBEMEDICAL."" "BUTAGAIN, THEREWASNEVERANEXPLANATION" "FORTHESHADOWMAN" "EXCEPTFORHYPNAGOGIC HALLUCINATIONS," "WHICHISANICEWORD" "THATTHEDOCTORS LIKETOTHROWAROUND," "BUTITREALLYMEANS YOUJUSTIMAGINEDIT." "MY GUESS IS WE CONCEPTUALIZE THINGS IN OUR UNCONSCIOUS," "BASED ON, LIKE, SNIPPETS OF INFORMATION" "THAT WE PICKED UP ALONG THE ROAD SOMEHOW." "IF I CAME FROM AN EVANGELICAL COMMUNITY" "WHERE THEY REALLY BELIEVED IN EVIL DEMONS," "MAYBE MY IMMEDIATE ASSOCIATION FROM MY UNCONSCIOUS" "AS I'M RISING OUT OF SLEEP, WOULD'VE BEEN LIKE," ""OH, SHIT, IT'S THE DEVIL!"" "YEAH,THAT'SINTERESTING." "ALTHOUGH,I WONDERIF YOULOOK ATYOUROWNREACTION" "TO YOUR EXPERIENCES AS SIMILAR IN A WAY." "YEAH, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT." "LIKE, THAT'S TRUE." "OF COURSE." "LIKE, ALSO MY UNCONSCIOUS IS LIKE," ""WHAT IS THE SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR THIS?" "THERE MUST BE A REASON THAT HAS TO DO WITH LOGIC."" "SO, YEAH, OF COURSE I LEAPT FOR THAT, TOO." "I CAN SEE IT JUST AS EASILY THERE'S THE COMMONALITY" "OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE, LIKE, HOW OUR BRAINS AND OUR HEARTS" "AND OUR PERSONALITIES FUNCTION, LIKE, WE'RE ALL PEOPLE." "WHY WOULDN'T WE SEE SIMILAR THINGS?" "LIKE, WE'RE NOT DIFFERENT SPECIES." "WHY WOULDN'T WE HAVE SIMILAR GO-TO ARCHETYPES IN OUR BRAIN?" "SO JUNGIAN." "BUT IT CAN'T ENTIRELY BE BORN FROM YOU." "YOU KNOW, THAT'S TO SAY THAT EVERYBODY HAS IN THEM" "THE CAPABILITY OF BRINGING OUT THESE HORRIBLE THINGS" "BEFORE THEY'VE EVEN WITNESSED ANYTHING HORRIBLE." "IT'S ONE OF MY THEORIES," "THAT WE'RE ACTUALLY RUNNING OUR BRAIN," "WE'REKINDOF OVERCLOCKINGIT,  YOUKNOW,MORETHANWEWOULD" "WHENWE'REJUSTSLEEPING ORJUSTAWAKE." "ANDTHATKINDOFHEIGHTENED SENSEOFPERCEPTION," "WHILE WE AS HUMANS..." "CAN'T REALLY" "WE CAN'T INTERPRET IT." "LIKE, WE'RE STILL NOT, YOU KNOW, INTERPRETING IT RIGHT," "BUT NOW WE'RE SEEING THE RAW DATA." "WE'RE SEEING, YOU KNOW, "OH, THAT COULD BE A DEMON."" "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO VISUALIZE A DEMON," "BECAUSE THAT'S NOT A THING THAT MY BRAIN CAN INTERPRET." "AND,I MEAN, IACTUALLYKINDOFBELIEVE" "THATPROBABLYALOT OFPEOPLE WHODOBELIEVE" "THATTHEYHAVEBEENABDUCTED, WEREACTUALLYVICTIMS" "OFSLEEPPARALYSIS OFVARYINGDEGREES." "ANDOFCOURSE,READINGMORE  ABOUTSLEEPPARALYSIS," "ANDREALIZINGTHEPREVALENCE OFTHISEXPERIENCE," "YOUKNOW,EXISTSINEVERY SINGLECULTUREIN THEWORLD." "THERE ARE THESE COMMON ARCHETYPES THAT KEEP POPPING UP," "AND ALL OVER THE WORLD." "LIKE, IT'SNOTJUSTINAMERICA" "PEOPLEGET THESERED-EYEDDEMONS." "ANDIT'SNOT-- YOUKNOW,THEY'REEVERYWHERE." "YOUKNOW, THESHADOWMAN..." "THECATSON THECHEST." "AGIANTCATTHATWOULD COMEINTOSOMEBODY'SHOUSE" "WHILETHEYWERESLEEPING, HOLDTHEMDOWN" "IT'SLIKECLAWED-- LIKETEETHANDCLAWS." "SOMETIMESMETAL ORLIKEMETAL-ISH." "YEAH,THEREARETHE ONES INTURKEY." "THERE'STHEANCIENTMORSE" "THEANCIENTNORSEONE , LIKE,THEMARE." "ANDTHEREAREJUSTSOMANY." "THEHAINT,LIKE"THEHAUNT."" "THEHMONGIMMIGRANTS." "SUBSEQUENTLY, ALOTOF THEMDIED," "YOUKNOW, FROMSLEEPPARALYSIS." "RIGHT,RIGHT, ANDI KNOWWESCRAVEN" "READANARTICLEABOUTTHEM ," "AND THAT HELPED INSPIRE "A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET"" "AND FREDDY KRUEGER, WHICH, YOU KNOW, THEN WENT ON" "TOCREATE AWEIRDFEEDBACKLOOP," "INSPIRINGOTHERPEOPLE'S NIGHTMARES" "ANDSLEEPPARALYSIS EXPERIENCES." "SOI HADADREAM ABOUTFREDDYKRUEGER," "ANDHEOBVIOUSLYWANTED TOKILLME ," "WANTEDTOHARMME," "WANTEDTOSCARE THECRAPOUTOFME," "AND I BELIEVE THAT THAT FEAR..." "CREATESA SUBSTANCE," "ANDI GOTTHISBLACKINK SCAREDOUTOF ME ," "LIKEANINKFISH." "ANDI BELIEVE THAT'SWHATIT EATS." "THEPHYSICIST MICHIOKAKUSAIDTHAT" "MAYBETHATWE DON'TLIVE INJUSTONEDIMENSION," "THATWELIVE INMULTIPLEDIMENSIONS." "ANDIFYOUIMAGINE ABLOCKOF FLATS" "THATASAN INFINITEEXTENSION OFYOURSELF," "SOITKEEPSADDING TOITSELFALLTHE TIME" "ANDNEVERSTOPS, ANDINEVERYROOM" "OFTHISBLOCKOFFLATS," "ISANENTIREUNIVERSE LIKEOURS." "NOW, INEVERYOTHERROOM," "THEREMUSTBE  ANOTHERUNIVERSE." "SO,IFTHAT'STRUE," "MAYBESOMEOTHERUS" "HAVEFOUNDOURWAY  INTOTHEHALLWAY," "ANDAREKNOCKING ONOURDOOR." "READY,TWO." "RIGHT AFTER MY MOM DIED, I WAS VERY DEPRESSED." "AND SO I'D BE CRYING." "YOU KNOW, THERE WAS THIS ONE DAY I REMEMBER" "THAT I HAD A BREAKDOWN, AND I WAS CRYING A LOT, A LOT." "AND THEN THE NEXT DAY, SINCE I WORK NIGHT SHIFT," "I CAME HOME, SLEPT-- YOU KNOW, TO SLEEP." "ANDTHENFORSOMEREASON THATDAY," "IWANTEDTO SLEEPONMYSIDE." "SOI SLEPTON MY SIDE FACING THE DOOR OF THE BEDROOM." "ANDALLOF ASUDDEN, IFELTMY BODYGETTINGNUMB ." "IFELTIT GETTINGPARALYZED." "ANDI SAID,"OH,MYGOD." "I'MGETTINGTHISAGAIN."" "BUTTHENIT FELTDIFFERENT." "IHEARDSOMEBODYWALKING." "THIS PRESENCE CAME AROUND." "AND IT CAME BEHIND ME." "I WAS LIKE THIS." "IT CAME BEHIND ME, AND IT HUGGED ME." "ANDI HEARDTHEMATTRESS DEPRESSALSO." "I HEARD THAT DEPRESS, LIKE SOMEONE WENT IN THE BED." "ANDI FELTIT WASMYMOTHER, ANDI HEARDHERVOICE," "ANDSHESAYS, "HONEY,I 'MHERE." "I'MHERE."" "AND IT FELT SO DIFFERENT FROM THAT PAST PRESENCE," "BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THIS WAS MY MOTHER." "IT DIDN'T FEEL EVIL." "IT FELT WARM, AND I WAS HAPPY." "AND I WOULD TALK TO HER." "IT'S LIKE-- THROUGH MY MIND I SAID," ""OH, MOMMY, IT'S YOU." "OH, MY GOD."" "AND SHE'S HUGGING ME TIGHT SAYING, "I'M HERE, I'M HERE."" "AND THAT WAS JUST A MATTER OF SECONDS," "ALL OF A SUDDEN, SHE WAS GONE." "SO I REALLY-- YOU KNOW," "I THINK IT'S MY MOM THAT COMES TO VISIT US." "DOESTHATSTILLHAPPEN?" "ITHAPPENED,LIKE, TWOORTHREETIMES." "BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I FEEL IT'S HER," "THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT SOMETIMES SAYS," ""WHAT IF IT'S THIS THING?"" "BECAUSESOMETIMES WHENI HAVEFELTHER ," "ALLOFASUDDEN, THENITKINDOFSWITCHES," "ANDTHENIDOFEEL ,LIKE , IFTHERE'SANOTHERPRESENCE." "ANDTHENIDON 'TKNOW IFIT'STHISTHINGAGAIN" "THATUSEDTO HAUNTME BACKTHEN" "ORIFIT IS STILLHER EVEN THOUGHITDOESFEELDIFFERENT." "ICANTELLTHE DIFFERENCE INBOTHOF THEM," "ANDI HAVESAID, "WHOAREYOU?"" "BUTOFCOURSE, IDON'TGETANANSWER." "ANDTHENIT JUSTLASTS FORA FEWSECONDS," "ANDIT'SGONE." "THE ONE THAT STANDS OUT ABOVE ALL OTHERS," "IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT" "WHEN ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND WENT TO BED," "AND IT WAS AROUND 10:00, AND I WASN'T REALLY TIRED." "SOI PLAYEDON MY PHONE FORA BIT," "AGAMEON THEPHONE," "ANDI MUSTHAVEFALLENASLEEP." "WHENI WOKEUP , ISTOODAT THESIDEOFMY BED," "IN A VERY OPPRESSIVE ATMOSPHERE." "I CAN'T DESCRIBE THE ATMOSPHERE TO YOU," "UNLESS YOU WERE THERE." "I MEAN, I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED IT BEFORE" "AND I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED IT AGAIN LIKE THAT." "IT'S A KIND OF A VERY STATICKY..." "UH, JUST PRESENCE OF EVIL." "AND AS I TURNED TO MY LEFT," "ISEEMY GIRLFRIENDINBED,  ANDI SEEME IN BED." "ANDNOWI'MCONFUSED, BUTI ALSOSEEMYEYES OPEN ," "ANDTHENIHEARDMYSELF LABOREDBREATHING," "WHICHISWHATIDO WHEN IHAVE ASLEEPPARALYSISATTACK." "I'M SHOCKED, SCARED, AND..." "I DON'T KNOW-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON." "I'M CONFUSED MORE THAN ANYTHING." "I CAN'T-- I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT." "I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON." "AND ALMOST INSTANTLY, AS I'M THINKING THAT," "I CAN SEE THREE BEINGS OVER IN THIS CORNER OF THE ROOM." "THERE'S NO LOOKING ME UP AND DOWN" "AND SEEING WHO I AM AND WHAT I'M DOING THERE." "THEY-- THETWOGENERICSHADOWPEOPLE," "THEYADVANCEON ME  STRAIGHTAWAY." "A GRAPPLE ENSUED BETWEEN ME AND THEM." "I'D LIKE TO SAY IT WAS A NOBLE FIGHT," "THAT I HAD TO REALLY PUT MY FOOT DOWN AND WIN," "BUT IT WASN'T." "THEYJUSTRETREATED STRAIGHTAWAY" "WHENI PUTRESISTANCEUP BEHINDTHEHATMAN ." "AND THE HAT MAN SHIELDED THEM." "ANDI HADNO INTENTION OFGOINGFORWARD" "TOINVESTIGATEANYMORE." "ALL I KNOW IS THAT I HAVE TO GET BACK IN BED," "THAT SOME SORT OF-- SOME VOICE IN MY HEAD SAYING" "AND MY OWN VOICE SAYING, "GET BACK IN BED."" "AND AS I TURNED, I CAN SEE A LONG SILVER THREAD," "FORWANTOF ABETTERWORD , THAT'SGOINGTOWARDSMYBODY ." "AND I DECIDE THAT NOW I HAVE GOTTA GET BACK INTO BED." "ANDJUSTAS IDECIDETHAT , ISHOOTUP IN BED." "THERE'SNOIN BETWEEN," "GOINGBACKIN MY BODY ORWHATEVER." "IT'SJUSTI'MTHERE." "I SIT STRAIGHT UP, AND I GO DOWNSTAIRS" "INTO THE KITCHEN, GET A DRINK," "AND I'M INSTANTLY HIT BY THE FEAR AND GUILT," "THAT I'VE LEFT HER ON HER OWN UPSTAIRS." "BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL IN THAT ROOM." "I KNOW THEY'RE STILL IN THAT ROOM." "AND AS I GO BACK UPSTAIRS, I SIT IN BED," "AND I STAY UP ALL NIGHT." "ANDIT'SLIKEI'M ONWATCH." "THEY JUST WANTED ME REALLY BAD." "IREMEMBERIWAS JUST SORTOFLAYINGINMYBED," "ANDTHENTHERE'SNOW  THELOUDNOISE," "AND, OH, I HATE THE SOUND OF THE NOISE." "IT'S, LIKE, ALMOST LIKE SPIRITS OR DEMONS," "LIKE, KIND OF LIKE SCREAMING AT YOU." "" " SO THEN YOU HEAR, LIKE" "IT'S ALMOST LIKE A BUZZING THAT STARTS," "AND THEN I CAN SENSE A PRESENCE," "RIGHT-- LIKE, STANDING OVER ME." "JUST STANDING RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME" "ON MY BED STANDING OVER ME." "THEN YOU HEAR, LIKE, THIS SOUND." "IT'S LIKE-- IT FEELS LIKE" "SOMEBODY'S SCREAMING RIGHT IN YOUR EAR," "LIKE THEY'RE RIGHT HERE, AND THEY'RE SCREAMING." "AND I CAN SENSE THE COLOR RED," "AS IF THEY WERE WEARING SOMETHING RED" "OR LIKE A DARK RED ROBE OR SOMETHING RED." "AND I TRIED TO LOOK AT THE FACE, BUT I COULDN'T." "LIKE, EVERY INCH, EVERY CENTIMETER" "FEELS LIKE OVER A TON." "ANDSOI'MTRYINGTOMOVE,  ANDI WANNASEEIT," "ANDI 'MLOOKING, LIKESTRAININGTO LOOKUP," "STRAININGTOLOOKUP." "ICOULD-- ICOULDBARELYMOVEMYHEAD." "IT WAS ALMOST GOING LIKE THIS, LIKE" "AND THEN, LIKE, I THINK I SAID SOMETHING." "I JUST SAID, "I REMEMBER THIS GUY." "HIS NAME IS JESUS," "AND I'M GONNA USE HIS NAME RIGHT NOW." "AND I'M GONNA SAY, 'IN JESUS' NAME," "YOU KNOW, GET OUT,'" OR-- I SAID SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT." "JESUS..." "JESUS..." "IN JESUS' NAME...." "IN JESUS' NAME..." "GET OUT." "AND I SUDDENLY SENSED THAT THE DEMONS," "OR THE THING THAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME," "THAT EVIL PRESENCE JUST LEFT." "GONE." "AND IT WAS AMAZING." "IT WAS LIKE A FEELING OF VICTORY, YEAH." "ANDTHEYNEVERCAMEBACK ?" "THEY NEVER CAME BACK." "I WASN'T EVEN A CHRISTIAN THEN." "I ACTUALLY ABHORRED RELIGION." "I DIDN'T WANT" "SOME LADY A LONG TIME AGO TOLD ME" "I SHOULD MARRY A CHRISTIAN MAN, AND I JUST LAUGHED IN HER FACE." "ANYWAYS, I LEARNED VERY LATE IN MY LIFE" "THAT THE NAME OF JESUS HAS POWER," "AND THAT'S HOW I BECAME A CHRISTIAN." "SODOYOUNOT" "DOYOUBELIEVEIN THEWIKIPEDIADEFINITION" "OFSLEEPPARALYSIS?" "NO." "UM, THAT WOULD BE SORT OF LIKE THE" "I GUESS, THE-- THE WORLDLY TERM," "LIKE, WHAT PEOPLE WOULD DEEM AS SOMETHING" "THAT'S A PHYSIOLOGICAL RESPONSE," "THAT IT'S LIKE A NATURAL THING THAT HAPPENS WITH THE BODY." "BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE." "I DO THINK THAT IT'S SOMETHING TO DO" "WITH THE SPIRITUAL REALM." "AND IT'S CLOSELY TIED WITH POSSIBLY DEMONIC ACTIVITY." "AT 33 YEARS OLD," "I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA GET ANY BETTER FOR ME." "I'VE EXPERIENCED IT MOST OF MY LIFE," "IF NOT ALL MY LIFE." "I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE." "IDON'TBELIEVETHAT THIS IS JUST A RARE OCCURRENCE." "ITHINKIT 'S-- ITHINKNONEOFUSARESPECIAL" "THATHAVETHISHAPPENTOTHEM." "THERE'S NO REASON WHY WE SHOULD HAVETHISHAPPENTOUS,SO" "BUTI 'DLIKETO KNOW HOWMANYOTHERPEOPLE" "OUTTHEREEXPERIENCETHIS." "IKNOWTHEREARE QUITEAFEW ," "BUTI THINK THERE'SA LOTMORE." "HEY,EVERYBODY, IT'SCONNIEHERE," "A.K.A.PHOENIXRISING11." "THANKYOUFORJOININGME." "IFIRSTWANNASTARTOUT BYSAYINGTHAT," "I'MABOUTTO TELLYOU  AVERYPERSONALSTORY," "ANDIFYOUGET WEIRDEDOUT EASILY" "ORYOU'RENOT THATOPEN-MINDED..." "SOYOUMADEAPRETTY POWERFULYOUTUBEVIDEO" "ABOUTYOUREXPERIENCE." "DOYOUWATCH ALOTOF OTHERPEOPLE'S" "SLEEPPARALYSISVIDEOS?" "IDON'TREALLY LIKETOLISTEN" "I HAVEN'T SEEN A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S" "SLEEP PARALYSIS VIDEOS." "ALTHOUGH PEOPLE DO SEND ME THEIR STUFF," "I JUST AM NOT IN A PLACE" "TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THAT KIND OF STUFF ANYMORE." "I DON'T KNOW WHY." "I FEEL LIKE IT'S JUST" "IT'S KIND OF LIKE THAT'S THE PAST," "AND I'M NOT IN THAT SPACE ANYMORE." "YOU KNOW, I FOUND FAITH, AND I MET MY HUSBAND," "AND I NEVER THOUGHT I'D GET MARRIED, AND..." "SOYOU'REACTUALLY TRYINGNOTTO THINKTOO MUCH" "ABOUTSLEEPPARALYSISANYMORE." "YEAH, YEAH, I MEAN, WHY?" "FOR WHAT, YOU KNOW?" "UM..." "I WAS, UH..." "DATING A GIRL WHO WAS PRETTY CRAZY." "SHE WAS KIND OF REALLY INTO BEING VERY NATURE-Y." "NOT LIKE A HIPPIE, BUT KIND OF LIKE" "A CRAZY WOOD SPIRIT NYMPH WAS KIND OF HER VIBE." "A LOT OF HER CLOTHES WERE, LIKE, STITCHED TOGETHER." "SHE WAS CRAZY." "SHE WOULD DO THINGS LIKE, SAY, START WALKING OUT" "INTHEMIDDLE OFANINCREDIBLYBUSYSTREET," "ANDI WOULDTRYAND STOPHER,  ANDSHE'DBE LIKE," ""NO,NO, THESPIRITSAREGUIDINGME,"" "WITHHEREYESCLOSED." "ICAN'TBELIEVESHE SURVIVED." "SO SHE WAS DEFINITELY ON THE CUSP OF SOMETHING." "SOWASI." "WEWEREBOTHREALLYLIVING INTHEFRINGES" "OFSANITYAT THATTIME." "ANDWEWENTUPTOACABIN" "THATMYDADHAS  INTHEBAYOFFUNDYINCANADA ." "ANDWEWEREWALKINGOUT INTHEWOODS." "ANDITWASGETTINGDARK ." "ITWASKINDOFDUSK ." "SOSHESAID, "LET'SBUILDASTONECIRCLE"," "BECAUSEWE'DJUSTGONE TOA PEBBLEBEACH." "SOWETOOKOUR PEBBLES ANDLAIDTHEMALL DOWN." "ANDTHENWE DECIDED TOBERECEPTIVE," "IFYOUKNOWWHATTHAT MEANS." "ANDSOSHE,LIKE, CLOSEDHEREYES" "ANDSHEWAS,LIKE, STANDINGLIKETHIS," "ANDI WASJUSTKINDOF STANDINGTHERELIKETHIS." " AND SUDDENLY SHE GOES, "OH,SOMETHING'SCOMING."" " SHE'S COMING!" "SHE'S COMING!" "ANDSHEHADHER EYESCLOSED," "ANDSOSHEWAS NOT-- COULDNOTSEEANYTHING," "ANDI WASLOOKING, ANDITWASLIKE" "SHEWASLISTENING ANDI WASLOOKING." "ANDI LOOKEDINTOTHE FOREST, AND,UM..." "OUTCAMETHISBLUEFORM ." "ITSTARTEDAPPROACHING, THISVERY,VERYBLUETHING." "LIKE,ITHADTHE SAMEQUALITY ASTHEBLACKTHINGS" "THATWETALKEDABOUT, BUTBLUE,PEACEFUL," "JUSTREALLY,LIKE,NICE." "ANDSHE'SLIKE, "OH,SHE'SBLUE."" "SHESAID,"SHE'SBLUE."" "EYESCLOSED, YOUKNOW,LIKETHIS." "ANDITCAMEAND APPROACHED," "ANDTHENIT JUST KINDOFSTOODSTILL," "ANDITWASMAYBE,LIKE , SIXFEETOVERTHERE." "I'MGETTINGGOOSEBUMPS JUSTTHINKINGABOUTTHIS." "ANDHERE'SMY GIRLFRIEND, ANDSHE'SJUSTLAUGHINGALOT ," "LIKE," OH,SHE'SSAYING THEFUNNIESTTHINGS."" "LIKE,JUSTCRAZY." "ITWASREALLYCRAZYANDWEIRD ." "ANDSHEGOES,"OH ," "SHE SAYS NOT TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THE DEMONS BEHIND YOU."" "ANDI WASLIKE,"WHAT?"" "AND I TURNED AROUND." "ANDI SAWTHEM." "THATSAMEFACE." "THEFACETHATPEOPLESEE" "WHENTHEY'REABDUCTED BYALIENS." "THEFACETHATISAW ASA SMALLCHILD." "ANDTHENIN THATMOMENT," "ISUDDENLYHADTHIS,LIKE , KINDOFREALIZATION." "'CAUSEITWASN'T,LIKE, LINGUISTIC." "IDIDN'THEARANYBODY TALKINGTOME ," "BUTI FELTATHOUGHT INMYHEAD," "SOMETHINGEXTERNAL, AND IT WAS ALL ABOUT HOW, UM..." "FEAREMPOWERSBADTHINGS." "TOHAVEFEARWHEN YOU'REINABAD ENVIRONMENT" "ORA BADPLACE ORAROUNDABAD THING" "ONLYGIVESTHATTHING MORESTRENGTH." "WHATTHATKINDOFMADE ME BEGINTOREALIZE" "ISTHAT,YOUKNOW, HEREI 'MHEARINGTHESEVOICES," "ANDTHEY'REDISEMBODIED, CONFUSED," "SCHIZOPHRENICGHOSTS, YOUKNOW," "YEAH,THOSEAREPEOPLE." "MAYBETHEY'REDEAD." "MAYBETHEY'REALIVE." "IDON'TKNOW." "BUTTHENTHEOTHERTHINGS," "THEBLACK,CLOUDYTHING, THESEGRAYTHINGS," "UM,THOSEARESOMETHING MOREPRIMAL," "SOMETHINGMOREJUST ENVIRONMENTAL." "ANDWHENICAME TOTHATREALIZATION,I'M LIKE," "WELL,DOESIT  HAVETOBE ANYONE THING?" "AND SHORTLY THEREAFTER, THE BLUE SPIRIT," "UH, DISSIPATED INTO THE WOODS." "AND THEN WE WENT BACK TO, YOU KNOW, THE CABIN," "AND THAT WAS THAT." "YOU'RETALKING ABOUTSOMETHINGTHATHAPPENS" "ATTHEABSOLUTEEDGES OFDREAMING." "LIKE, YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN DREAMS." "YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN THEM LOGICALLY." "THEY'RE ALL LITTLE BITS AND PIECES" "THAT COME UP FROM YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS," "AND FROM THINGS YOU'VE EXPERIENCED," "AND WHO KNOWS HOW THE SLEEPING MIND PUTS THINGS TOGETHER?" "AND NOW YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT AN EXPERIENCE" "THAT HAPPENS IN THAT IN-BETWEEN STAGE." "IT'S SO LIMINAL." "YOU CAN'T PUT LOGIC ONTO LIMINAL SITUATIONS." "I NEED YOU TO ALSO UNDERSTAND" "THAT I WAS IN AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD." "IBELIEVEBECAUSEIWAS BEATENSOMUCHDURINGTHEDAY," "THATATNIGHT, MYSOULHADTOHEAL" "TOKEEPME HERE." "THAT'S WHY I HAD TO GET THROUGH THEFOURTHDIMENSION," "ANDTHAT'SWHYIHADTOGO SOMEWHEREELSETO BE HEALED," "SOTHATICOULDCOME BACK  ANDDEALWITHMYLIFE ." "I KNEW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT SLEEP PARALYSIS" "UNTIL I WAS TOLD ABOUT IT." "AND THEN I, ALMOST INSTANTLY, BEGAN EXPERIENCING IT." "I DON'T BELIEVE, LIKE, THE MEDICAL EXPLANATION TO IT," "THE PHYSIOLOGICAL STUFF, JUST A SLEEP DISORDER." "THERE'S GOT TO BE WAY MORE TO IT." "I TOLD MY ONE FRIEND ABOUT IT WHEN I WAS JUST TALKING," "I WAS LIKE, "HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SLEEP PARALYSIS?"" "SHE'S LIKE, "NO," AND SO I SHARED MY EXPERIENCE." "ANDTHENTHENEXTDAY,  SHE'STEXTINGME ." "SHE'SLIKE,"I HATEYOU ." "IHATEYOU." "WHATEVERYOUWERETELLINGME ABOUTHAPPENINGTO YOU," "NOWIT'SSTARTING TOHAPPENTO ME ."" "KINDOFLIKEANSTD,  "SLEEP-TRANSMITTEDDISEASE."" "THERE WAS AN EXPERIENCE DURING THIS TIME" "THAT I ACTUALLY DID THINK I DIED." "WHOLE DREAM'S GOING FINE." "I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING." "IT'S ONE OF THOSE THREE-, FOUR-DAY-FEELING TYPE DREAMS." "I'M JUST KIND OF EXISTING IN IT, SORT OF ENJOYING IT." "AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, LIKE, SOMEBODY KNOCKS AT THE DOOR." "IT'S, LIKE, TWO HOMELESS DUDES." "ANDTHEY'RETRYINGTOGETIN," "ANDI 'MTRYINGTO TELLTHEM, "LISTEN,WE'REAT CAPACITY." "WE'RE AT CAPACITY FOR HOMELESS PEOPLE IN MY WEIRD DREAM TOWN."" "THERE'SA GUYON ROLLERBLADES INTHEBACKGROUND,VERY'90s ." "ANDI WASN'TTHINKING, BUTHE,LIKE,TURNS," "ANDHESTARTS ROLLER-BLADINGTOWARDSME ." "AND I'M LIKE, "THAT'S AWESOME." "HE'S GONNA COME INTO PLAY HERE." "THISISCOOL." "I'M PROBABLY GONNA WAKE UP SOON 'CAUSEIT'SALLEVAPORATING."" "ANDASHE GETSREALLYCLOSE, HEJUSTPULLSOUT AGUN." "ANDTHENI'M INTHEPARALYSIS." "BUTIT'SNOTAPARALYSIS I'VEEVERFELTBEFORE." "IT'SJUSTNOTHING." "IDON'TSEEANYTHING." "IDON'TFEELANYTHING." "I'MJUSTNOTHING." "SOI GUESSMAYBE THISISAN AFTERLIFE." "ANDI WASLIKE, "NAH,PROBABLYNOT." "MAYBEI 'MINACOMA."" "ANDI 'MSTARTINGTO THINK SLEEPPARALYSIS" "PROBABLYFINALLYFUCKEDME." "LIKE,I 'MPROBABLYDONE." "ANDI 'VEPROBABLYSTOPPED BREATHING," "ANDTHISIS WHATHAPPENS WHENITHAPPENS," "LIKE, I'MJUSTNOTHINGNESS." "AND,LIKE,FIVE, TENMINUTESGO BY ," "ANDI 'MJUSTLIKE-- GETA LITTLENERVOUS," "BUT,LIKE,AT THESAMETIME ," "I'MJUST KINDOFWEIRDLYSERENE." "LIKE," THISSUCKS."" "AND..." "IREMEMBERTHINKING," "LIKE,I 'MGONNATRY TOPULLOUTOFIT." "LIKE, THESAMEMOTIONIWOULDDO" "TOPULLOUTOF SLEEPPARALYSIS," "I'MGONNAJUSTTRY  TOEMULATETHAT." "ANDI TRYOVERAND OVER ANDOVERAGAIN," "IMEAN,HUNDREDSOFTIMES." "YOUKNOW,JUST-- BUTI 'MGETTINGSOMEWHERE," "ANDI REMEMBERICOMEUP FOR,LIKE,HALFASECOND." "ANDI CANSEEMYROOM ." "IT'SLIKEICAN OPEN MYEYESALITTLEBIT," "BUTNOTHING'S-- THERE'SNOTHINGTHEREANYMORE." "ANDIT'SALMOSTLIKE I'MJUSTIN BED" "ANDTHEROOMISLIKE" "ALLTHEDETAILS OFTHEROOMARE GONE." "THERE'S" "I CANSEEMY NOWEX-GIRLFRIEND'SDRESSER," "HERLITTLEVANITY, ANDTHERE'SNOTHINGONIT." "ANDI REMEMBER ICALLEDOUTHER NAME," "ANDNOBODYCAME," "ANDTHENIWAS  BACKINTHEPARALYSIS." "ANDTHEN ITWASANOTHERFIVE," "TENMINUTESOF PULLINGOUT , ANDTHENEVENTUALLYIWOKE UP." "AND..." "SHEWASN'TTHERE." "NOBODYWASAROUND, BUT..." "ITJUST" "ITWAS-- ITWASTHEWORST." "IJUSTFELTLIKEIDIED." "YOUKNOW,IT BECAMETHIS KINDFOTURNINGPOINTFORME" "IN, YOU KNOW, JUST" "HOW I SAW ALL THIS." "AND I DEFINITELY DIDN'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN EVER AGAIN." "SOHOWDIDTHATCHANGE YOUR" "THEWAYYOUSAW ALL THIS?" "IT JUST" " IT-- WHEREAS BEFORE," "I FELT LIKE I WAS MAYBE, YOU KNOW," "LEARNING AND EXPLORING AND IT WAS, LIKE, KIND OF FUN," "IT STOPPED BEING FUN." "LIKE, IT'S NOT LIKE I GET TO" "YOU KNOW, PEOPLE TALK ABOUT ASTRAL PROJECTION" "AND ALL THESE, LIKE, AWESOME-SOUNDING THINGS," "LIKE HOW THEY GET TO FLY AROUND," "AND, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, DO COOL THINGS." "AND I DON'T GET THAT." "I DON'T GET, YOU KNOW, THOSE." "I JUST GET THESE WEIRD EXPERIENCES" "WHERE I FEEL LIKE, FOR A SECOND," "ICANSEESOMETHING THATMOSTPEOPLECAN 'T." "LIKE, THERE'S WHAT WE SEE IN THE WORLD..." "AND RIGHT BEHIND IT, YOU KNOW, ALMOST LIKE" "IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING'S CELLOPHANE-WRAPPED OR SOMETHING." "AND FOR HALF A SECOND, THAT-- THAT WRAPPER'S GONE," "AND I CAN SEE OR PERCEIVE SOMETHING" "A LITTLE BIT MORE REAL-- OR WHATEVER REAL IS" "AND THEN IT'S GONE." "BUT I CAN SEE IT FOR THAT HALF A SECOND." "AND SO NO MATTER WHAT FEAR OR PAIN COMES ALONG WITH IT," "I ALWAYS GET THIS EXPERIENCE, WHERE, EVEN IF IT'S IN MY HEAD," "IT'S MADE SOMETHING INTERESTING." "IT'S SOMETHING THAT I CAN PULL FROM" "THAT MAKES MY LIFE ALMOST KIND OF WORTH IT," "WHICH IS, YOU KNOW-- FOR A LONG TIME," "IS SOMETHING I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'VE EVER HAD." "AND IT'S GONNA PROBABLY JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE," "AND I TRULY BELIEVE THAT ONE DAY" "IT WILL BE THE REASON WHY, LIKE, ONE DAY I DON'T WAKE UP." "AND ONE DAY I'M JUST-- YOU KNOW, I DON'T BREATHE," "I CAN'T CONTROL THE BREATHING, AND IT'S DONE." "ANDI FEELTERRIBLE FORWHOEVERI'MDATING" "ORMARRIEDTO  WHENTHATHAPPENS," "UM,BUTI'MKINDOFREADY  FORTHATNOW." "CHRIS." "HEY,CHRIS." "YOUKNOW, I'MREADYFORTHATTOBE ," "YOUKNOW,JUSTKINDOF WHATHAPPENSTO ME ." "BUTI WOULDLIKETOFIGUREOUT ALOTMOREABOUTTHIS" "BEFORE THAT HAPPENS, AND IT'S ALSO MADE ME FEEL" "VERY COMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA." "LIKE, IF SOMETHING'S HAPPENING," "THAT'S MORE THAN..." "I'M JUST CRAZY." "THEN SOMETHING'S HAPPENING."