"Thank you." "Enjoy your Anne Murray." "Though, I don't see how that's possible." " Hello Steven." " He, hi, man!" "Leo, this is my dad, WB." "Ohh!" "Now I've seen everything." "You're surprised he's black, huh?" "No, his fly's open." "Wow, look at all these kids." "Pretty busy for a Tuesday morning." "Yeah it's kind of a fire sale." "We put stuff on sale, then I go down to the high school and pull the fire alarm." "If the store's keeps doing OK, there might be a nice bonus in your future." "Or how I like to call it, a retroactive child support." "Hey who's pretty boy?" "Oh hey, I'm Randy, but I really wouldn't call me pretty." "I'm more like solitary, angular yet soft." "Really anything that would describe Faye Dunaway." "So Steven, what are you and Faye Dunaway doing this weekend?" "Oh, well, the Point Place youth club is doing a big thrash clean up, so we were going down there and throw cans at them." "Check these out." "Front-row tickets to Eric Clapton in Chicago?" "That's the coolest thing anyone has ever done for me." "What show you a couple of concert tickets?" "You're not going!" "So listen, I stopped by to see if you wanted to house-sit for me." "You know, bringing the mail, water the plants, feed my dog Whity." "Your dog's name is Whity?" "Nooo, I was talking to you." "Yes, guess I can do that." "Wow man, I'm staying at my Dad's house, it's like the childhood I never had." "And I won't be there." "Just like the childhood you did have." "Mrs Forman?" "I need to talk to you." "I'm really sorry that Randy and I were kissing in Eric's room." "It was inappropriate." "Oh actually honey I'm surprised you even had time to apologize." "I thought you would be up there making out with the rest of Wisconsin." "What the hell are you doing showing affection outside of your own home anyway?" "Kitty and I, we never kiss or hug in public." "As far as the rest of the world is concerned, we're complete strangers." "I didn't mean to offend you." "You've always been like a mother to me." "Like remember when you made me hot coco when my parents got snowed in that swinger's club?" "Oh Donna I'm not going to let one little incident ruin a lifelong friendship." "Oh hey, look Red, this egg is kinda shaped like Randy's head." "And now it's thrash just like Donna." "Oh, this pineapple reminds me of Donna," "it's a little tart." "hey don't call my daughter names, you can call me names but I really wish you wouldn't." "Why, I just don't know what she sees in Randy." "He's so charming and friendly and always willing to lend a helping hand." "What a jackass!" "Well I like him." "He calls me Mr. P." "Where did he come up with that one?" "Kitty, if Donna's going to date anyone, why not him?" "I mean his bright, he's good with tools and most important, he has never once tried to teach me the ways of the Jedi." "Wait a minute, you like Randy too?" "Well I'm just saying, I don't hate him as mush as I hate most people." "Well you have said a lot of hurtful things but this is the worse." "Kitty." "She's crazy." "This pineapple's delicious." "See now this is the kind of house I want." "And I know that if I work hard enough, I can find someone would buy one for me." "Men, this place is clean." "You're sure no women leaves here, man?" "Steven, please, I don't need a woman living here to keep a clean house." "I have a maid and she's a white girl." "And then Mrs Forman said you looked like an egg and then threw your broken head into the thrash." "Well I don't take it too personally because I've noticed something about Mrs Forman, she's a wackedoo." "Oh, cool!" "Peter Frampton gave you a signed guitar." "He you know what, I have a handful of his hair and one of them has a little piece of skin at the end of it." "Yeah, she keeps it next to Leith Gareth's used q-tip." "Hey, I had to kiss a roodie named Larry for that one." "Well, there's the kitchen, there's the living-room and there's the bar." "Don't touch anything!" "Don't worry man." "I'll treat this place like a broken tool of myself." "Hey guys, the toilet seat there is heated." "It felt so good on my face." "Man, watching your Dad's place is a big responsibility and I just know that the 500 strangers we invited to the party are going to give the respect it deserves." "No way, man." "WB is trusting me and I'm not thrashing his house." "Well, that's the beauty of our plan, we will thrash it for you." "Oh!" "Hyde doesn't want to disappoint his Daddy." "I'm Hyde and I love my Dad and he loves me and we're making up for lost time and..." "Actually that's kind of touching." "Come on Hyde!" "Don't you want to find out if 500 people can fit in that pool?" "No, alright?" "I'm not letting you guys taught me into having a party." "I'm not doing something that stupid." "Look everybody, I'm dancing like a chicken." "Ever since I said I like Randy," "Kitty has been stumping around, making life miserable for me." "I can't describe how bad it is over there." "Well it made you wanna come over and hang out with me." "That's the perfect way to describe it." "I'm glad you came." "Taste this." "Hum." "That taste's pretty good." "It's cause it's made with 5 different cheeses!" "What's it called?" "5 different cheeses." "Oh, save room for cheese cake." "God this place looks great." "WB will never know we had a party." "You missed something behind the couch." "Drive safe." "You know, all this cleaning is actually kind of satisfying." "I bet my maid is thrilled she's not a doctor in her country anymore." "Well, I cleaned up that dirty limbrick of the wall." "I don't know where this Notucket place is but the men there are disgusting." "Man, I should not have thrown a party here." "It's weird but I feel kinda guilty." "I never felt guilty before in my life." "Even when the judge said "you're guilty."" "You think that's weird?" "I took my pants off but my undies are gone." "You're not gonna believe this, but" "I think I'm wearing them." "Hey, what the hell is the guitar doing on the floor?" "Oh you took it down to whack all the women in the bum with it." "Hum hum." "You called it Hyde's Spankomatic." "Well, it looks alright." "What are you talking about?" "It's broken into pieces." "Ok, so we should probably say goodnight here because if my dad saw us kissing, he'll yell Yoo Hoo!" "Oh look at this, Randy and Donna kissing." "Yoo Hoo!" "Well I think I shouldn't get too upset because after all it's none of my business what two people do in the privacy of my own drive-way." "Mrs Forman, I'm sorry you're uncomfortable but for the last time, Eric broke up with me." "I don't care." "You should still be waiting for him." "When Red went to war, I waited for him, and I had more men coming after me than Hitler!" "That's different!" "Eric chose to go to Africa and he chose to break up with me." "Well, maybe he wouldn't have left if you were a better girlfriend." "well, maybe if you hadn't been so smothering and controlling him, he wouldn't have gone half way across the world just to get away from you." "Eh, that egg shell does look like me!" "Hey handsome." "Red, do one more." "What am I now?" "A deer." "No, a rhinoceros." "What I am now?" "A moron." "Wrong again, I'm a deer!" "Mr Forman, your wife just saw me and Randy kissing in the drive-way." "Yoo Hoo." "Then she yelled at us, so I told her she was a bad mother and that Eric went to Africa to get away from her." "Now she's really mad at me." "Well, of course, she's mad at you Donna." "You can't just go around telling people the truth." "Why in the hell didn't you stop them?" "Because the last time I got between two women, well, that actually worked out very well." "Well, thanks Donna." "Now you've made it worse." "I have to go and fix this now." "Because if I have to stay here another day with your dad," "I'm gonna end up killing myself." "No offence." "How was that no offence?" "You should have just said offence." "Fine, offence." "OK, go but you're gonna miss out on what I'm doing for dinner:" "5 different meats." "This thing is completely destroyed." "Yeah." "You know what else happened at the party?" "A guy grabbed my butt and his girlfriend got very mad at them." "You know, I think they broke up." "I had a great time." "I'm screwed, man." "WB is in the music industry." "They can kill anyone and make it look like an accident." "They did it to Mama Kass, they did it to Hendrix, they even took out Bobby Holly, they got the big bumper." "Oh Hyde, you're such a baby!" "Oh I'm Hyde and I just lost the trust of the father I just met." "Oh, here comes the waterfall again." "Oh, I hear you and Donna had quite a fight." "You wanna tell me what happened?" "well, your guess is as good as mine." "I saw Donna and Randy in the drive-way, I politely said Good day and out of nowhere she just bit my head off." " Completely unprovoked?" " Completely." " So just like all of our fights." " Exactly." "Yeah, well, look Kitty." "What happened with Eric and Donna is normal." "People, people move away, they move on." "Just like you did when I went off to war and you dated Roger Silver." "You knew about that?" "Well you guys should probably not have gone on America's Band stage." "Well my situation was different." "You were overseas, I had to keep my options open." "Donna is a whore." "What do you think, man." "Can you fix it?" "I don't know, man." "You kinda caught me at a bad time." "Right in the middle of Hawai 5-0." "Leo, there is no TV in here." "That doesn't change the fact that it's on." "Look, man, I actually really need your help." "OK, I can fix this, man." "But I just need to do one thing to prepare." "OK here we go, gloves," "knife, napkin." "You can't fix a guitar in an empty stomach." "Oh, hi Donna." "I didn't recognize you without a 6 feet stranger boy attached to your face." "Mrs Forman, about what happened in the drive-way, we both said some things we probably didn't mean." "I didn't." "Oh I'm just saying." "We both got emotional and we said some things we might want to take back." "I can't think of anything." "But you do admit you were on the drive-way, right?" "I don't know, it looks more like a brothel to me." "Mrs Forman, please." "I just came over here to tell you that the whole thing with Randy, it was all a huge mistake." "Oh, Donna." "I am so happy to hear you say that." "So are you and I okay?" "Of course we are!" "Ohhh." "I never really saw you with Randy anyway, he's awful handsome." "Oh, no, we're still together." "We just won't kiss in front of you anymore." "And for the record, I can get any guy I want." "I am damn hot." "You should hear the disgusting things construction workers say they wanna do to me." "Oh come on Donna." "You don't belong with Randy anyway and just wait when Eric gets home..." "Mrs Forman listen to me." "When Eric comes back we are not going back together." "So you need to get over it." "How am I supposed to get over Eric running off to Africa." "he was supposed to stay here, marry you and... and give me and Red 3 wonderful grandchildren named Ronald, Rose and Kitty Junior." "Only everyone would call her Kitkat so that it doesn't get confusing." "Oh my god." "So you're not mad at me, you're mad at Eric." "Of course I'm mad at Eric." "It just wasn't supposed to turn out this way." "Mrs Forman, I'll always care about Eric but, it's over." "I know." "S oo..." "Kitty Junior?" "Or Kitty the second." "Whichever you prefer." "It's your child." "There you go, the guitar is all fixed." "Leo, I could kiss you, man." "Ok, but that's as far as you gonna get." "Hey, where is my kiss?" "I'm the one who whipped off all the graffiti." "What?" "Yeah, some jerk named Peter Frampton wrote his name on it." "Fez!" "You moron, this is Peter Frampton's guitar." " Who?" " Peter Frampton." "The talentless idiot that a million brainless teenage girls made a star?" "!" "I love Peter Frampton!" "A million and one." "Oh my god, my dad's here." "What am I going to do?" "Don't worry, I'll take care of him with this!" "Hands down, you son of a bitch!" "You now what, I'll sign it myself." "Peter Frampton's wrote on many things." "I'll just leave the sucks part." " Hey there Steven!" " Hey man, how was Clapton?" "Great." "I got you a T-shirt." ""I love Chicago."" "I didn't remember till got to the airport." "Wow, look at this place." "You know I was thinking I was gonna give you a nice cash bonus but now I don't think I'm going to." " You're not?" " No, check this out!" "Eric Clapton signed this guitar." " Oh my God, I love Clapton." " Me too!" "That's why I'm giving you the Peter Frampton." "Actually, you know, the store is going great, you took care of the house so... here." "You're giving me the Clapton guitar?" "Yeah, you deserve it." "Ohhh, yeah." "WB I got something bad to tell you." "Well, actually it's kind of funny too." "No it's mostly bad." "You know, I'd say 50-50 funny bad." "I threw the most freaking awesome party here last night and well, we broke your Frampton guitar." "What's the funny part?" "Well I was hoping that was the funny part because I put the "ah ah" in there." "It made me laugh." "So while I was away, you disobeyed my wishes, you used my house for a party and broke something that was extremely valuable to me?" "I have a son!" " You're not mad?" " No, of course not." "Do I still get the Clapton guitar?" "Oh hell, no." "I can't trust you worth a damn." "I have a confession to make too." "I broke your toilet seat trying to reheat some pizza." "Yeah and I peed in your pool." "Leo, you weren't even at the party." "I know that's why I peed in his pool." "Towel, succion," "ohhh..." "We're losing him." "Time of death," "8.29." "Murderer!"