"The National Film Board of Canada presents" "The Ring Within" "As a child," "I was the class dunce, the twit, the outcast." "I felt dead, alone in the dark." "I was so sad, frightened, my child's rage so strong," "I could've killed my parents, myself, the whole world." "I grew up." "Now I can compose myself, and other things." "But the child is still there, deep inside me." "Like any lonely, angry child, he needed to meet others." "Other children, other angers." "I met Charles while going to rebuild my body." "The first time, we didn't speak." "We eyed each other." "He beckoned me into the ring." "We fought." "A bond was made." "The bond." "Then, breathless, we talked." "And we've never stopped since." "Thinking back on it now," "I came looking for a fight." "Not externally... I wasn't looking for street fighting..." "I came looking for something you found in martial ans:" "inner combat." "I had no one left to share with." "When I found you, it had become important." "We start off the same:" "lightly fighting." "When we're out of breath, or I am (you can fight for hours), our hearts open up." "Here, I found something I'd lost elsewhere." "What was that?" "Here's a question." "In life." "And in combat, how did I get to be your cornerman?" "You just answered that." "You came into my real life." "To confront the true me, find out who I really was." "To get to know a little better what was here." "You were back here." "Way back here." "That's the best answer:" "you entered my real life." " As the eyes in your back." " Right." "Some fighters need a little more than that." "More than coaching." "Coaches used to rest on their laurels in the fighting sport, and who push" "their trainees." "I train myself." "I push myself to my limit." "That's the trainer's role." "In a corner," "I don't need to be pushed to the limit, I push myself." "I spur myself on." "Charles Ali Nestor, 27, repeat world Chinese boxing champion and now lead contender for the Canadian mixed martial ans championship." "Tonight, he faces an Olympic wrestler, 1st in Canada, 9th in the world, and still unbeaten in ultimate fighting." "Six-times number one, in the World Lightweight Championship, and Z-time international Chinese-boxing champion, from Montreal, Quebec, measuring 6 feet, weighing in at 169 pounds" "Charles Ali Nestor!" "Turn!" "Flip him over!" "I lost..." "I don't believe I lost the fight as such." "I did what I had to do." "My job was to show you a fight, and I did." "That's it." "And did I do this, yes or no?" "Being defeated doesn't mean I did badly." "You weren't scared." "You were fearless." "Good for you." "I shit my pants with him." "Not you." "Good going." "As a kid," "I felt I had to win." "Or else I'd be cast aside." "I've thought a lot about this over the years." "Now, when I fight, whether I win or lose," "I come first." "I also try to teach this to my students." "One of them always won." "Then one day, he lost a fight." "He didn't know how I'd react." "He asked if he'd let me down." "He had tears in his eyes." "He didn't know." "He'd always won." ""Why would I be disappointed?" "You did what you had to do."" "You fought." "I'm proud of you." "I'm so glad for Carlos, I could've cried." "You saw him?" "Yeah!" "He was ripped off, lost so many fights he should've won." "David Loiseau, age 21" "He finally decided to beat the guy." "Right choked him." "I've never been less stressed." "Yves Jabouin, age 22" "Usually, a week before, I start..." "I'm "aware"." "I feel it inside." "This time, not even." "How long did it take you to win your amateur fight?" "Twelve seconds." "For me, the difference is the crowd." "The 1st time you enter a professional ring with crowds and cameras..." "I have more trouble with that." "It's more of a challenge than the opponent." "I think of my recent knee-pain." "That guy's gonna eat punches." "I'll punch him out." "I suffered this for him." "He's why my knees hurt." "Even if I lose, he'll get hit." "Don't think I'll go for his legs..." "I'm not scared now, but last time, with the stress, the crowd..." "I'll be hesitant." "I'll avoid his legs." "He has good legs and knees." "It's not worth the risk." "I'll stand and fight." "Every time he kicks, I'll punch." "Whenever I'm in the ring, it's serious." "I gotta be sharp." "In top condition." "I try to stack the deck in my favour." "Anything that helps." "If no sex helps me win, I'll abstain." "Anything." "If eating spinach helps, I will." "I don't have sex." "Hey, listen." "I don't have sex, I make love." "My last session, last week..." "I said to her..." ""Take advantage now." "This is your last chance until after my fight."" "I had it before my best fight." ""Fresh"!" "It relaxed me." "Got in the ring..." "Ready." "Go!" "I care about loving people." "And doing what I love." "Fighting." "Teaching." "I think what I needed was to be taught." "To be taught... with love..." "Not imposed upon." "Unlike other instructors, I'm afraid of hurting them to prove what I can teach them." "I have nothing to demonstrate." "I teach." "Period." ""I like learning." "I'm here to teach."" "Don't touch my arm." "Don't touch me." "Put a stick under here." "Four." "Three." "Up!" "Take a key, a choke." "Everyone at once!" "All together!" "Together!" " Ready?" " Yeah!" "So, this is my gang of pals." "Jerks." "To me, fighting is not indecent." "I've seen more indecency in the violence of silence." "Silence that induces sadness." "Sadness that generates anger." "ls anger within our rights?" "What do we do with it?" "I know mine well, use it a lot." "I did everything in a rage:" "destroyed and reconstructed myself with the same anger." "ls the line between healthy and destructive anger clear?" "Love, hate, love, hate." "Can we have one without the other?" "In primary school, I got into fights, but not often." "By grade 5, I was the strongest." "I was a bully." "I couldn't assert myself at home." "I wasn't allowed to talk." "As soon as I got to school," "I laid down the law." "When I got... to high school," "at first, I was slightly pudgy because my mother never let me play outside." "She made me eat all the time;" "I was pudgy." "In high school, I lost weight." "Then, around the age of 13 or 14..." "At 14, I started... looking at gangs, seeing they were cool, they hung together, like families." " What?" " Familial." "Most people who join a gang find something they lacked." "At that age, it's like love." "You do the hazing." "An exam." "Each gang has its own kind of exam." "For me, they formed a circle." "I was in the middle, with 4 or 5 people around me." "They make sure to use the biggest." "They don't use the smaller guys." "I remember, one guy also had a stick." "You gotta fight." "The others don't help you out." "They dive right in too." "To see how much you can take." "I was down." "I went down." "I sure didn't come out a winner." "I was messed up." "They really messed me up." "But they saw... how much I wanted to be in the gang." "I've been arrested a few times, but the time I was convicted, it was for breaking into an armory." "The first time I went to a detention center, I was 14." "People really thought I was cold-hearted." "Often, many officials there were tough with me too." "I was ready to use my fists on them." "But with Michel, it was the opposite." "I'd get mad, he'd calm down." "He didn't play my game." "He emanated something different than the others." "He showed his vulnerability." "The guys... hide many emotions, except anger and aggression, which readily come out." "Michel Jetté, youth worker Mont Saint Antoine" "They conceal the others." "Tears well up and are held back." "He was a closed person." "He held a lot of rage inside." "It was obvious." "You could see it, and feel it." "He was often tense." "Sometimes I'm afraid of others' aggression..." "The point when it's so strong, you feel the destructiveness." "It's not personally dangerous, but destructiveness scares me." "I'm scared of it." "What'll he do, hit someone, wreck everything?" "Mutilate himself?" "That scares me." "The terrible intensity of all that anger is frightening." "Anger Respect" "One time, I beat up... a judo instructor in a hockey game." "I kicked and punched him." "I don't regret doing it, not even now." "But I was cut from the martial arts program." "Cutting me, an athlete, from sports is like strangling me." "Another time, I nearly devoured a teacher." "Michel was there." "I held back a lot when he was around." "If you got into something..." "This kid was bothering me." "His teacher got into it." "He pushed me down hard." "The teacher got mixed up in it." "The feeling I got from Charles - it was strong at the time, I can still see it - was, "You don't believe me." "You don't trust me." "You're blasting and blaming me." "It's not fair."" "I felt his intense rage." "That's when I got scared things would turn out badly." "It was easy for people to hold things against me since I didn't talk." "Things just refused to come out from here" "by talking." "I sometimes tried to talk but instead my anger rose and all I could do was jump the guy again in his office." "I really couldn't talk." "It happened every time." "I'd start talking, and I'd stutter." "So instead, I'd jump the guy." " You haven't changed." "You neither." " I have." " Still wear a mustache." "Yes, I do." "I'm glad to see you." "I really am." "So, tell me something." "I'm anxious to hear." "What's up?" "I heard you own a gym, you're boxing, so I started watching the fights on TV recently." "Yeah!" "It flipped me out a bit." "Guess so." " I'm tongue-tied." " You are?" "Take your time." "You've been blocked before." "Couldn't get it out." "No, I couldn't." "Not much." "That was for other things." "I've learned to speak up, but this is emotional." "I escaped my father and ruled the street." "Authority and justice stopped me from doing what I had to do." "So, it was...total rage." "My zone." "It boiled and burned ...constantly." "Constantly." "I was always ready to fight, to explode." "That was it." "Entering the zone." "The zone of rage." "When you shoot, it's very important that your knees be bent." "Your foot's never like this." "You'll break it instantly." "But when it's like this, you can pivot." "To be honest, martial ans... saved me." "I don't know if they saved my life exactly, but I know, if not for martial ans," "I could be dead, or maybe in jail." "I owe them a lot." "Another move you'll find interesting." "Steve Vigneault, age 22" "Get inside." "I'm going here." "I don't sit, I go for his leg." "I pull." "Look how he's twisted up." "Then I grab my foot, but not with this hand." "Because look, take my hand." "Nice arm-bar." "So I'm here, I grab his leg." "I lock the hold." "One, two..." "Look." "When I was young, I had things to prove to myself and others." "I had to be respected." "When I was younger, I was smaller, fatter." "People mocked me." "I got fed up and started working out." "Work, gym, bed." "That's about it." "Try to find time to eat." "Eat and relax." "It makes for long days, Monday to Friday." "I used to train Saturday and Sunday." "I slowed down... to avoid burn-out." "I have some dreams." "Open a school, become a champion." "Create my own style." "I've been writing a lot." "Doing martial ans is more than just beating up on guys" "You aim to create something." "Creating a style is my primary goal: creating a voice, a way of fighting, my own approach and philosophy, my own mentality." "I've always been independent." "So I do combat sports." "If I were a team player, I would've done a team sport." "The cornerman's important." "We're like a team." "My cornerman's my best friend." "I can't use just anyone." "He experiences what I do." "In terms of reputation," "I've always preferred Hilton's gym." "It's not the biggest." "The spirit's different here." "It's more combative." "David Hilton Sr., trainer" "Steve works hard." "His life's not easy." "I live at home." "Mom takes care of me." "I go to school." "I work too, but for him, it's hard." "He's alone." "I was always skinnier, weaker." "Things often happened on the school ground... because the kids were young:" ""Chirp, chirp, Dave's a bird..."" "They often bugged me." "That's how it started" "I never stood for that." "I was small, but I took it, and came back for more." "Story of my life." "Making comebacks." "The crowd stands, yells your name:" "Bird!" "Loiseau!" "Incredible!" "If it lasted 5 or 6 hours, I'd stick around for it." "Unbelievable." "It brings tears to my eyes." "I get shivers." "It's cool." "Once, my father came and said, "Come see what's in the basement."" "I went down and saw a whole huge workout set:" "weights, a machine, a benchpress..." "I said, "Wow, cool, man." I looked at myself..." "I was thin." "I thought, maybe martial ans aren't enough." "I'll add mass and muscle." "My dad's a guidance teacher and my mother... is a hospital attendant." "I appreciate what she does." "She didn't freak out about me fighting." "She knows I love it..." "She can't stop me." "She trusts me." "I told her it's safe." "There are refs, blood tests, an athletic commission." "It's a real sport!" "A very clean one." "Much cleaner than hockey these days." "We're not fighting bears." "It's man-to-man." "Before, real barbarians came to the first UFC's:" "7 feet tall, 400 pounds, beating on each other, no gloves, no rules." "My mother believes me." "She let me do it." "Haitian families are complicated." "Let me tell you..." "Especially when there's divorce." "I'm not mad at my father." "I miss him." "We'll see each other again." "After the storm blows over." "Dirk's 36." "He's trained steadily in martial arts for a long time." "He's had defeats, victories." "He's never quit." "He's had a hard life." "He left Europe to live here." "He's the family I wish I'd had." "The father I would've wanted." "I don't mean he's old." "I see the order into which he puts his home..." "Dirk Waardenburg, age 36 without imposing the hierarchy my father did...a nice family." "The good thing here is that Dirk and I," "Yves, aiming for the pros, and the others we train:" "we support each other." "It's a real clan." "Keep going!" "Guards back!" "Bend your leg!" "Twist it!" "Right." "You must keep advancing." "Again." "Guard up." "Let's go?" "Forward, grab on." "One, back, two, push." "We're pushing him backwards." "If he backs up, it's too easy." "So, one, push, two, three..." "Push." "Pull..." "Why's your name Speedy?" "Not 'cause you're fast!" "Not at your age!" "No age jokes." " I see the next stage." " Hit him." "No, Dan's making up for lost time, getting younger." "You mean he gets younger, me older?" "You were already in shape." "I'm getting back to normal." "I'm in better shape now than before." "At 20, I weighed 60 kilos." "I was skinny." "He's S-time European champion of Thai boxing, a gruelling sport." "Fighters are usually in a heavy trance during the fight." "Paradoxically, Dirk's probably the least angry among us." "I always thought he did ultimate boxing like it were figure skating." "The winners' room!" "Hey, chum, good going!" " She wanted me to win for ages." " For my birthday tomorrow." "That week of sexual abstinence paid off." "I'll have to do more running." "I was a little weak." "I'm happy" "Charles knows there's a world of difference between a rage expert and an aggressor." "The difference is in the anger's trajectory:" "how to channel it usefully." "Thus, his way of helping others is crucial to his own survival." "The angrier you are at the right time, the stronger." "That's automatic." "If you always remain passive, you're not that strong." "If you haven't opened the volcano for some reason and asked," ""How dare you do that to me?", if you don't ask this, it shows up in the way you fend off your aggressor." "You can't escape some situations where the person has such a hold over us, we have no recourse." "One form of self-preservation, self-defense, is sometimes to do nothing." "Two women are going down in different elevators." "One lets herself be assaulted and does nothing, and the other comes out bruised and broken because she defended herself." "If we talked to these women a year later, we'd find they each handled the aftermath differently." "The one who did nothing may have had more trouble going about the everyday world, compared to the one who tried to do something." "I don't blame the first one:" "doing nothing's also a means of self-defense, but we must live with our choices." "You must stay as alert as possible, as calm as possible, and what's hard " "and we say this to men too..." "These techniques are good for both genders." "Stay calm 'til the right moment." "I felt in him not just the perspective of an instructor wanting to pass on a message," "George Manoli, police officer Montreal Urban Community but of someone wanting to lead a child toward self-affirmation." "He's made such headway, it's obvious just talking to him." "He's so calm, self-assured." "And I think this also emanates towards his students." "It's easy to befriend Charles." "To me, he's someone with an inner flame who wants to help, and do his utmost to improve things for everyone around him." "I told him to join the force." "I see he's so calm with people..." "No, I think his path's already mapped out for him." "Tonight, being cornerman is especially hard." "Like your kid brother's getting creamed, while you look on helplessly." "For the first time," "I watch Charles get hurt." "Since he was little, he said he liked fighting." "I said no, but... that's what I always said." "He's not violent, so why was this... what he liked doing?" "Sometimes, he even walks with a limp..." "He hides it, doesn't want me to see." "Charles, my friend, how better to be hard on your mother than to abuse yourself?" "I had to show you my interview with her." "I told him, "No, I don't like this!"" "How can you look at someone who hit you?" "To me it's like racecar driving." "It's a tragic sport." "It hurts, it hurts me." "Because I thought, when he's older, he'll be paralyzed." "Like that man..." "What's his name, in the States?" "The one who shakes." " Mohammed Ali." "Yes." " Afraid he'll end up like Ali?" "Yes." "Scared of paralysis." "So young." "Gotta move." "I'm getting blocked." "You say so little to me, or else, you smile," "And your indigo eyes light up my night." "You give me so little, just this glimmer." "Perhaps you're happy in your proud silence." "Is the black fruit of your childhood," "If they neglected you, If you locked yourself up" "In a porcelain tower, I shall speak to you." "If silence, if silence" "Took your solitary heart out of action" "If you've strayed into the deep black forest of adolescence," "I shall talk to you..." "Tonight's gala:" "the "elimination" tournament." "All the fighters I know hate this set-up." "As well as having to fight several times, catastrophes like tonight's can happen." "Tonight's going well." "Too well..." "Steve wins his fight." "Not unexpectedly, David then wins his too." "Right." "Two friends, two buddies, must now fight each other." "It may be just a sport." "Emotionally, it's hell." "I'm a believer." "Hey, man, we deserve it!" "We'll put on a show and fight." "Win or lose..." "Two guys fighting." "We'll be sparring." "Not fighting." "Forget the crowd and just spar." " Who cares." "We'll tough out a round." " Just one." " Doesn't matter, who cares." "We're both champions." "Two champs." "I throw down the glove, rival," "Present and past," "With this our first dance," "I shall be unarmed." "I throw down the glove, rival," "Present and past," "I yield my place to you" "By the blood of friendship." "I throw down the glove, rival," "Present and past," "Who's the last bullet for" "For love, I shall die." "Steve was dead serious." "One round, that was it." "He gave it his all, but he couldn't fight his friend." "His cornerman threw in the towel." "Finished." "It was an amazingly emotional fight." "Strange as it may seem, only friends could fight with so much talent, intensity and fury." "Steve's always been like our whole gang's little brother." "Tonight, he didn't win the title but maybe that's fine with him." "I wanted to go a round to put on a good show for you, but I swear, we gave it our best, threw real punches." "Look at my face." "We didn't hold back." "I'm glad he won, I just wanted a good fight." "I'll never fight a Quebecois again." "When I want a title, I'll go elsewhere, not here." "It's over." "I really wanted to win something in life." "It's good to see:" "David in that state." "Confident, his problems behind him, standing firm." "He didn't lose." "Most of his opponents..." "David has much more talent." "Those guys were no match." "But he held up mentally, but gave up before the end." "It showed." "When he started getting tired, he let down his guard." "His face showed he'd given up." "This drawing?" "It's of..." "David's last fight against St-Louis." "That was a great trial in David's life." "Tonight, David's king of the hill." "The defending Canadian champion." "Watching him fight, a question arises..." "Won't success be slightly harder to handle than failure?" "As a singer, I sometimes think so." "It skews perspective." "Since David's been champion, it's like he's in Disneyland." "Tonight's a brutal homecoming." "Three months later, Steve's back." "Tonight's the Canadian championship fight." "I've never seen anyone as intense as Steve, since he was a kid." "And tonight's the reason for all that work." ""Everyone's kid brother" is no more." "We know it's his night and his life is playing out." "We could feel there was more at stake tonight than a fight." "Say a prayer for me..." "Another fight that went to the outer limit." "The doctor examines the cut on Jason's eye." "It's too deep." "It'll impede his vision." "He stops the fight." "Okay, Steve?" "You get both." " Bonus, minus 2 licences." " Fine." " Sign this." " Gimme what you want." "My champ, sign here." "I can still sign my name!" "That hurts!" " You must be happy." " I always wanted to win..." "Put some Vaseline on it." "Does your head hurt?" " A little." " Dizzy?" "No, but..." "I'm crying." "This week, I couldn't think past the 12th." "Like I'd die the 12th." "No future." "Only this would save me." "I had so many problems for 3 months, I'd needed to win." "I've seen other fighters cry." "If I look like a baby, I am!" "Some emotions just spill out." "When Jason won, he didn't cry, he was so confident." "I always doubted myself but for once, I did it." "He hit hard...elbows, knees." "I stuck it out." "I could die." "I don't want to, but I'm ready." "This is all I have." "I often felt like dying." "Nothing to do in this world." "I'm glad I didn't." "I conquered illness, fear, and Jason." "Tonight, in a few phrases, Steve gave me the definition of true, extreme fighting:" "it's inside." "It starts in childhood." "A fight to the death that never ends." "I'm trained to fight." "To try and win, and survive." "My fight with Jason was hell for both of us. I took blows... for 10 minutes, like never before." "I did with Dave too." "But with Jason, I took more than ever before." "That's the hardest thing." "Being able to withstand the pain." "You'll get your revenge." "His tattoos really got me." "I'm on his back looking at them!" " You're there reading 'em." " His arms, back, stomach..." "I was trying to hit you." "I hit your stomach twice." "I saw my hands:" ""Fuck, it's not working." Then again." "Nothing." "I never saw that in a fight:" "2 guys pushed to the limit like that." "They're crazy..." "The hard thing with Jason..." "I saw the replay..." "He hit me good." "His spinning back kick..." "I'm lucky I still have teeth." "You concentrate on survival." "You're in the ring." "You gotta leave it in one piece." "The hardest fights were when I had problems inside." "The inner fight:" "nervousness, fear." "I'm emotional." "I must battle my emotions." "I tell you..." "I fought my worst fights with these 2 guys:" "Jason and Dave." "Watching those fights brings tears to my eyes." "I look like a fool, but it's true." "I should give you a box of kleenex." "What?" "My heart's broken, you're right." "I'm not ashamed." "I've been hurt, duped, whatever." "Sometimes, we're so involved in the sport, it's our life." "If your girlfriend doesn't understand, she'll think you're crazy, obsessed... a psychopath who only wants to train..." "That's where problems arise." " Do you explain things to her?" " Yes, but she..." "Why am I talking about her?" "I'm not with her any more!" "I'm single now." "When I was with my ex, I tried to explain." "It's hard for her to understand." "She finds it weird to train constantly, 6 days a week." "Sometimes I'd be with her and suddenly notice the time." "Right in the throes of making out and, "Fuck!" "Gotta go train!"" ""Can't you wait 15 minutes?"" ""No." "Discipline!" "Gotta go now."" "What's the objective?" "..." "Doing martial ans isn't just karate or judo techniques." "It's also how you deal mentally in life." "That adds to your game when you fight." "That's what I learned today." "No matter how many hits you take daily life hits harder." "You faxed it?" "No, I haven't called." "He's in Sherbrooke." "Shall I?" "Yeah, fax him." ""Base rhythm of alpha waves, 10 to 11 cycles/second, weak, since the patient was drowsy." "Conclusion: falls within the range of normal, though the patient is constantly drowsy and falls asleep if not constantly stimulated." "This must be interpreted in the clinical context."" "They gave me another... appointment in June." "With a specialist, a neurologist." "Fine." "Except you're too tired." "That's all." " Maybe a bit." " Too tired." "Tired of training." "I'll rest tomorrow." "At home with your son, your mom?" "You take care of her every 6 hours?" " My mother's fine these days." " How much sleep do you get?" "At least 8 hours." "And your days?" "Tomorrow," "I'll work here." "Nothing pressing." ""Pressing."" "And physically?" "Tomorrow, I've a private lesson." "That won't tire me." "You used to rest more." " Before a fight, 3 or 4 days." " Or so I said." "I'm just your cornerman." "I take your word for it." "They say here, you're alert when stimulated." "You'll be stimulated all right." "Yeah, yeah." "Commission athlétique du Québec" " How're you?" " Fine." "I've a question for you." "Yves Lavigne, referee ls a kick to the knee like this permissible?" "I was going to explain that." "The knee is this zone here." "It's off-limits." "Front, side and back." "If you hit here in the muscle..." "That breaks the leg." "You can hit here, not here." "Pretty narrow zone, eh?" " You have above and below!" " Here's fine but not here?" "Got a microscope?" "I'm a hawk-eye." "Charles plunges deep inside himself before a fight." "I thought artists did that." "I didn't realize it at first, but I saw him gradually plunge into zones of pain, dark zones." "He delved very deeply into his suffering." "I gradually got worried." "I hated my father for a long time." "I hated him because" "I loved him too much." "He was my idol." "When I think deeply about it," "I go back into... a rage." "I see him before me." "Like I were his portrait..." "That explains what I mean by entering the zone." "When you go there, not much else exists around you." "All you see is hate before you." "Rage." "I didn't throw the towel." "Are you woozy?" "It's just a little cut." "Just couldn't grab him." "That was crude." "It reminded me of you as a kid "People unfair to me?" "Watch this!"" "I consider myself a fair person." "I expect people to be fair to me." "Bad reasoning." "Does a bad call, justify the finger?" "This?" "Shot at the ref in public?" "I got into a strange zone, minutes before the fight." "I hadn't fought with so much hate and rage in a long time." "I really went off." "I wanted to hurt him." "To me, there's a direct link between entering that painful old zone of memories, and snubbing the ref." "I wasn't lucid." "My lucidity was gone." "I don't think it came back until 2 days after the fight." "I was totally out there..." "Even after the finger, for the next 2 days," "I wasn't ready to deal with what I did." "When you fight from that zone, you're a fighter." "You can't always be calm and nice, waiting to get hit before reacting." "It's war." "You access that zone, but at a price." "I was going to war, but I went further." "Like I was fighting myself..." "I find this defeat significant." "For a long time," "I've been in a quiet zone." "Total inner peace, except, yes, when it explodes..." "It was a huge volcano." "So you're a criminal?" "When I come back, my junior students, the kids, when they hear about the gesture I made, what'll they think?" "Why did I do it?" "Should they do it too?" "I talked to them so much about respect... and the attitude to take towards people and society." "Then I did the opposite." "I looked at Yves." "Then I looked at..." "Dirk." "You." "I felt ashamed with those near to me." "If you see yourself as a criminal, that's a relapse." "Just that." "I never thought I could explode and react that way." "Maybe I should live thinking there's still a chance of relapsing." "I haven't feared that for a long time." "I'm stuck with it for a while." " Can I have salad?" "Yes." " Yeah!" " Here." " That's it?" " There's not much left." "The whole thing!" "Thanks." "Here." "Stop slurping." "You got something here." "It says here, bring in the form...and the money for the field trip." "You're not going." "You were bad." "That bothers you?" "You know why?" "Why?" " Because I came home late" " Home late." "And mean to the teacher." "He talks, and I want him to." "I don't want him to have the communication problems I did." "He's a big talker." "I'm glad." "Who's your girlfriend?" "Not telling." "Who's your favourite?" "My girlfriend?" "Really." "Who?" "That girl at school?" "The Asian one?" ""Aytian"?" "Yeah." "She's Cambodian." "You got another?" "She left you?" "I told you..." "I forgot." " She left me." "Why?" "For another boy?" "Your friend stole her?" "Time's passed since we made this film." "David's won every fight." "Steve's more comfortable with winning." "Now he has his own martial arts school." "Charles is again world Chinese-boxing champion and still teaches." "He teaches self-defense in Montreal schools and martial arts at his own school." "Since the film, he went back to Mont St-Antoine, where he was detained for part of his youth." "But this time, he went back for good as a martial-arts teacher." "As for me, I don't know if this film led me to martial arts or the other way around." "All I know is, I'm no longer afraid of my own anger." "I can sleep now." "to my kid brother Guillaume 19-12-1964 to 21-04-1985" "My madness" "MY Pain" "The volcanoes within me" "My loves" "My tenderness" "Are the demons of my heart." "I bury my nightmares" "I'm not afraid of the dark any more." "Nor of my life, nor my death, nor my past." "I'll never leave you again." "For my joy and my fear for you are back." "Malbrought isn't afraid any more."