"I TALKED TO A GIRL" "It was really a very lovely day." "And well, we had just come to berlin." "It was our first time in berlin together." "He's studying there and I'm trying to find work." "We hope to get a place together there maybe and, well, to build a life together there." "Yeah, it was a beginning of sorts." "She and he and the street where l see so many couples strolling." "I know those two." "She's 20." "He's 25." "How is one at that age?" "In general I have to say, I don't know, at least not precisely enough." "But I know you, Georg, farm machinery mechanic and student, and you, Marieluise, chemical lab technician." "Especially you, Mary, whom I've known so long, since you were in nursery in a village in the Oderbruch." "As now, I was 20 years your senior then, and that would be apparent by how I speak to you and see you." "You've grown into a pretty woman with a love story to tell." "But tell me how you see yourself, tell me about the two of you." "He wants to be a band conductor, or a choirmaster, an educator of some kind." "He'd really like to do that, and I know he can." "He likes music in general, things like music theory and all that." "He really wants to do work that fulfils him." "We've known each other since April 1 97 4." "And we have only really been together since January 1 97 5." "is this your first love?" "No, it's not my first love." "I was 1 7 when I fell in love the first time, at boarding school." "I saw him again recently, but when I think about how I was at 1 7, I had completely different ideas and criteria." "In any case we only have limited possibilities as it is." "We only meet in his room, which is quite small, or at his aunt's." "We visit his parents, but not very often." "And we never meet at my parents'place." "He just drops me off there, by the fence in front of our house." "Were there any quarrels with your parents?" "Yes, well, I don't know, any young man would've done the same, they wouldn't show their face for a while after being kicked out." "You bringing someone home at your age is normal." "Sure, but that's not the issue, it has more to do with him, him as a person." "And I have my own ideas too, and I won't budge from them, and I've made it very clear that I'm going to do what I think is right." "But, all the same, it always took a long time for me to assert myself." "to finally do what I want to do." "You had no qualms about being filmed, so you must be sure of each other." "Yet you asked me what I thought of Georg." "Does that matter?" "Yeah, well, he is a bit out of the ordinary." "When you hear what lots of young men talk about it's really just awful." "They talk for hours about a jeans jacket or something." "He'd never do that, he has other things on his mind that really do have more substance." "He has more than life's trivialities on his mind." "He thinks about our society." "Yes." "Yeah, well, first I have to make sure that I can accept him as he is." "I don't want him to be the type who does everything I want but someone I can learn a lot from too, someone who has something to offer me." "And in the meantime our relationship has grown nicely." "Maybe because I've adapted to him a bit, or maybe because he's more willing to involve me." "He no longer has to have it his way." "He listens to me and learns from me." "He doesn't see himself as the be all and end all." "He'll say, "You know you're right, I learnt something new today, " it's nice." "You go dancing often?" "Or isn't he much for dancing?" "Does he go for your sake, or you for his, how is it exactly?" "No, I'd say that the dancing is secondary to us." "We really just talk." "How do you talk with the noise?" "It's hard at the dance but it's fine at the pub." "We have nice, relaxed conversations." "That's where our best conversations have been." "You almost didn't recognize Jürgen in his uniform." "Many of the boys from your class at school are now soldiers." "Getting married?" "If my partner gives me something and we get along I see no reason not to." "We can help each other through hardship." "I think that's what's good about being with someone." "If you can't solve your problems alone then how can you do it if you don't have help?" "Before it sounded like you thought" ""First I want to be happy with myself. "" "Yeah, maybe I really did used to think that way." "I no longer think that's right." "I see lots of examples of that among the single girls I know." "I don't think the single girls manage their problems better than me." "I saw you going to work in one of the borough's modern plants and I saw almost solely women." "Yes, the team we have is really quite good." "I feel comfortable with them." "Good teamwork is a big plus." "And we earn pretty good money." "although the work isn't really what I imagined." "is it that the work is far too repetitive, that it doesn't involve brainwork?" "Yes, when the workflow has to go at a quick and steady pace and you have to work non-stop, you don't have time to talk." "When the workload is heavy." "But when we don't have much work on that day then we take our time." "The main problem for me is really that the time goes by so slowly." "What would you prefer to do as a lab technician?" "As a technician I'd prefer to do experiments, make my own observations and discover things, to think more." "We don't have to use our brains at all here." "You do your work well and you get productivity awards, but you wonder if you have the potential to do more." "You start thinking about things like that." "On Fridays you usually go back to Golzow." "I always wanted to live in a town." "Staying here was too cramped and too small for me." "Well, I mean, if I had stayed here I'd feel I was missing something." "What do you want to achieve in the coming years?" "Well, first of all I'd like to work in a job that I really enjoy." "I want to make as much as I can of my life and then see about the rest." "Children can be quite sweet." "Yes, they can be cute, but they are a lot of work." "Then you have tons of responsibilities and it limits your freedom a lot." "I haven't regretted my decision yet." "Elke, your best friend, always did well in school." "Last year she was happily married." "Toddler Doreen brought lasting happiness, and is lucky to have a loving grandma to watch her during the week." "Willy was in your year at school too." "After eighth grade he left school." "He felt he'd had enough schooling to be a mechanic and tractor driver." "He finished training early, went to work, got married and just became a father for the second time." "Mary, remember when we visited him, you were so flustered you forgot to give him the flowers." "You visited someone your own age with his own proper family." "He seemed to have achieved a lot." "Willy has his own home, you still live at your parents, and there are six children in your family." "Yes, Willy has his responsibilities, but he can also be there for someone." "That's something you sometimes long for, despite your freedom." "And Willy never felt he was missing something by living in the country." "And he could really be satisfied with what he had accomplished." "How long have you lived here?" "It'II be a year in the autumn." "The only question is if Willy will let himself be satisfied." "Do you work on the cooperative farm?" "I do think that it can be quite tempting." "And I think it over again and again." "About what it'd be like to be married, to have my own a place." "But, nonetheless, I still have lots of time to settle down and have that." "I'm not so sure about the material goods." "Isn't there a risk of complacency, of people only worrying about what's in their own four walls?" "That they'll just let other things go as they may." "If they're able to live their lives, they'll leave the rest to others." "I saw you at work again, saw your superiors were men and thought you could be a supervisor too, if you want it enough." "So your job hasn't had any positives?" "I wouldn't say that." "There were things I've enjoyed in training." "Times when I thought, "lt's good that I'm training to be a technician. "" "Being a trainee is always different from working a real job." "And most trainees feel that way." "You have to wait, finish training and then see." "But it's my life." "I don't want to spend my life working a job I don't like." "What kind of task would be good for you?" "I ask myself that sometimes and I'm not totally sure." "I think even as a little girl I felt I could be a nurse." "My mum talked me out of it, and there weren't many vacancies here." "But even today I feel like that job would suit me well." "You get to work with people who need your help." "Every day you have a new task." "It just couldn't get monotonous." "If it did that would mean something's wrong." "You stick it out because you figure you won't be here long." "If a better opportunity comes along you can just quit working here." "But still, you do your job well." "If you didn't you wouldn't be your work team's union representative." "Or you marry a rich man, then you can afford to do whatever you want." "It's break time and you're discussing your favourite topic." "It's nice that young women today can discuss such things with sarcasm." "Both ticking all the boxes and finding the right one, no way." "Several times a day you hear aeroplanes fly over the plant." "And in Berlin you got an idea regarding a profession." "Being a stewardess wouldn't be bad." "But if you want to work in medicine and help people then all I might say is that being a stewardess seems very superficial." "Maybe you only want to do that because it's a job for pretty girls." "I might say you're full of yourself, which is obvious if you want to be a stewardess." "Oh, no." "So it isn't a superficial job?" "When you compare it to nursing, sure." "Like I said, it has its appeal, it's a chance to see some of the world." "And another thing is you don't do it your whole life, just for a few years." "Then maybe I could work as a medical lab technician." "You have the qualification." "Yes." "It may just be a fanciful idea, you just don't know." "But I imagine that it'd be a job for me." "Especially because you meet new people each day." "So it's about contact to people and moving forward yourself, right?" "Yes." "I think you can always change jobs as long as you aren't tied down and don't have a family." "Maybe even when you're married you can find a way to do it too." "And if it's possible, and you realize it early enough, and if you aren't too old and are still prepared to learn for it, then you should go ahead and seize the chance to start a new profession." "You'd be more useful in another job because you'd do it with more verve." "Yes, I feel like I'm out of place where l'm working right now, that I could give society much more if I were working another job, one I'm much more passionate about and would be more productive in." "I'II entertain your daughter." "Sure, go ahead and do that." "You were the guest again, this time at your ex-colleague Ilona's." "still working?" "Yes, shiftwork." "I'm fed up though." "Oh, dear." "believe me, I'm really glad to be out of there." "I'II do the same as you, I'II..." "The work was really nice, but..." "No, the work isn't very great either." "The shiftwork gets on my nerves." "I know." "I won't be staying there much longer." "You still living right back there?" "Yes, over at the back." "The others got a place in a high-rise and we moved in there too." "My room's not so good, it's a waIk-through room." "please sit still." "Daddy?" "Where is your daddy?" "I have to get back to it so we can all eat." "Let me explain, Ilona is married to a truck driver, Wolfgang." "After finishing school in Golzow she went to Frankfurt, like you." "She trained to work in electronics." "She temporarily quit working because the plant didn't have a day-care spot for her." "She now works in a place where she can leave her child in a creche." "Mary those are good reasons to leave the job you trained for." "Maybe you'll stay there after all, you could pursue specialized study, if you get delegated." "I saw your room, the walk-through in the hostel for single women." "I did have the wedding-beII blues at one time, but not now." "How did they manifest themselves?" "It just got me wondering about myself." "I mean, everyone is married or engaged, you think you should get serious about doing that." "But that passed." "You went dancing a Iot at that time, right?" "No, not then, that was after I finished training, when I was certified and could basically do what I wanted." "Most got married, had applied for housing and the like." "They all had plans like that but things looked gloomy for me." "I didn't feel comfortable with it all." "So shouIdn't a girl be married at 20 years of age?" "No, definitely not." "To me it's more like a virus and they're all catching it." "Maybe they're all afraid of being old maids." "And they get married just because of that." "They end up splitting up just as quickly as they got married." "They marry without really knowing each other, or why they're together at all." "They just do it to be married like everyone else, to fit in." "Mary, allow me to speak at length now and remind you of something." "When you were eleven your teacher told you about a strange river that could only be entered once." "When you enter it for a second time it is no longer the same." "You heard about a wise old man in Ancient Greece who recognized that nothing stays as it is and that the only constant is change." "At 20 you know who that was and what this is. dialectic." "How often have you rejected what you once thought?" "And you sense that what you think and hope for now will be altered, corrected and replaced by future experiences." "You ask yourself, "What can I accomplish in life?"" "And you aren't sure you will succeed in realizing your dreams." "That makes you uneasy." "You would've liked to know how others felt." "You may get answers when you return to Golzow this weekend." "Since finishing school four years ago you've seen some classmates." "But today you'll get to see them all again, at the class reunion." "You've decided to meet not in the pub but at the much derided school that you all associate with thousands of shared memories." "The principle seizes the opportunity to welcome you." "Here's to seeing old friends again and to your health." "Cheers!" "I'd Iike to give you these flowers on behalf of our class." "It really was a great time." "Thank you, it's so nice to hear that we left a good impression." "Which teacher did you like the most?" "Who did you learn the most from, what advice did they give you?" "Mrs Ramm played a big roll for us." "Whenever you had problems she was always supportive and she really looked after us very well." "And Mr Templin too." "He won't stand for it when you fail and then just let your head hang." "He doesn't let you brood on it and tells you to keep your head up." "That's just how he was, and I always admired that." "The formalities are over." "Perhaps it wouldn't have been so involved if you had organized it yourselves." "But would it have even taken place then?" "We have made five films together over the years, now we wanted to see you again." "You feel like invited guests and now must try to make this meeting into your reunion." "The fact that each individual was left to decide whether to bring a partner made things complicated." "And that meant having to get reacquainted with people." "But this situation is only typical." "Didn't the adults make things too easy for you sometimes, with all the knowledge, advice and opinions they imparted on you?" "What can't you learn at school?" "They say there are things you can't..." "Well, they should've offered a class on how to find the right life-partner." "That's a lot harder than it seems." "And you have to be really attentive and use your own instincts to figure it out." "And managing that successfully really isn't easy." "You have the answer yourself." "Yet you also see the shortcomings of your school." "Did the school not really help there?" "should the school have helped more?" "Yes." "I'd say the school didn't help us at all with that." "And was the career planning good?" "Or was it more or less by chance that you ended up in one field and not another?" "well, chance played a pretty big role." "How does one become union representative?" "What does it take?" "Why were you chosen?" "well, you have to be willing to open your mouth, to say things at meetings." "And I imagine that was the quality of mine that made them think of me and elect me." "I enjoy doing that work." "And..." "You were already vocal in school too, you learned to be contradictory when it was necessary." "We all have our own minds, our own ideas." "And why shouldn't you say what you think?" "Because if you just sit there... just sit there silently saying "yes", and "that's right"" "nothing will change and it doesn't do anyone any good." "You have to be assertive to change something, is that a quality you possess?" "Yes, I do." "ls it difficult?" "It's awkward, right?" "No." "I don't like taking the easy route." "It makes me feel uneasy." "I prefer to get things off my chest." "It's a Iot nicer that way." "Do you remember the lamp?" "The one that got smashed?" "Quite a few things got broken at school." "The worst was with him, in nursery." "You got into it often?" "Boy, we used to really fight!" "Reminiscing always starts with "Do you remember... "" "And once you know how people are, what they do, their ideas and plans, you go on talking for hours only about the antics you got up to together back then." "Never again has reckless behaviour been so innocently forgiven." "My God, the thrashings I got!" "But, no, not my sister." "There was this big bowI-shaped lamp, the ball hit it and, bang!" "Then you had to go to the principal's office." "Think of how we were at that age." "We weren't any different." "Looking back you know..." "I still think it's too young to smoke." "Dieter is just as silly today as he was back then." "And then he's got this hole in his head." "Crashing his father's bike like that, oh boy!" "Remember when we were riding to Genschmar?" "I'm steering, he's up front, his foot catches in the spokes and he flew into the ditch." "You should have seen his face." "Those were good times." "Willy, the family man, says, "Those were good times. "" "But would he go back?" "But not at that age." "Perhaps with what they know today." "But not at that age." "There were once about 30 of you, but that group is no longer, even if it may appear that way today." "Georg has assumed a big role in your search to refocus your life." "Yet, although you may think differently now, loving someone isn't the only key to enrichment in life." "You're here with Georg, your classmate Jürgen with Anita." "From today onwards, the pair of you want Anita and Georg in your lives." "But how can that work when you have to close an old chapter so you can open a new one?" "The reunion was a moment in time, and such moments can only be held onto in memory." "Mary, how should I conclude without sounding portentous as we older people are prone to." "But this film is about what you have to say." "Like this." "It's important people in our society don't feel constricted, but free." "And that they feel able to voice opinions that might not be exactly what people want to hear." "So you don't like half measures or mincing words?" "I don't know, I just think it's really a plague." "A plague?" "What do you mean?" "When you realize saying certain things will damage you and start to only consider how you can get certain things or benefit from something, when that drives your actions." "I don't care for that, it just being about your..." "You want to stay firmly on your path." "You've already realized not everyone does that, so you are more determined." "As you said "Why shouldn't you say what you think?"" "So you want everyone to show their true self for the good of the society in which they live." "You're curious about life and want to live it to its fullest." "Yeah, well l just feel like I haven't seen enough yet." "And that life is whizzing by me without me knowing." "And I haven't even seen much." "Well, you are only 20 years old." "Sure." "But if I only start getting frustrated when I turn 40, it'll be too late." "I'd rather think about it now, maybe I can still salvage something." "And I think if you keep that in mind every day, then you really realize..." "lf you keep what in mind?" "That today might be your last day." "People might live more consciously if they knew they only had a year to live." "It may be a horrid thought, but you would live more consciously." "I think you should make the most of every situation, you should keep a cool head about you." "That's the best way to get through life." "I talked with a girl who is 20 and says about herself," ""l know I am still searching. "" "Take care, Mary." "Take the right path." "Copyright © 2010 TITELBILD, berlin subtitles:" "Nathan Fritz et aI."