"("MY LOVIN'" BY EN VOGUE PLAYING ON THE RADIO)" "MAN: (ON RADIO) And now, it's time for a breakdown." "(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)" "(BOB SINGING "MY LOVIN'" BY EN VOGUE)" "Mmm, mmm, mmm, yeah..." "Man, I told you Robbie Wheirdicht showers here during first period." "Why doesn't he just shower at home like a normal person?" "Look at him." "Does anything about that look normal to you?" "(BOB CONTINUES SINGING)" "You know, he's actually a pretty good dancer." "Let's wreck him." "TREVOR:" "Hey, Weird Dick!" "(ALL LAUGH)" "Come on." "Finally, young ladies and young gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce that the winner of the National High School Student of the Year Award is none other than your very own two-time student body president, the captain of Central High's All Valley track team," "president of the drama club and the senior voted "Most Likely to Succeed."" "I gotta tell you folks, after 40 years as an educator, he is my favorite student." "I wish he were my son if I were medically able to have children." "(AUDIENCE CHUCKLES)" "He's everybody's favorite all-around guy..." "Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner!" "Come on!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)" "("UNBELIEVABLE" BY EMF PLAYING)" "(CHEERING CONTINUES)" "ALL: (CHANTING) Golden Jet!" "Golden Jet!" "Golden Jet!" "Oh, my goodness." "Wow." "Wow, guys." "Hey!" "How about a hand for Principal Kent, huh?" "Huh?" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Honestly, if my mom was into white guys, it would be you." "I know it would, okay?" "(ALL LAUGH)" "Well, as we all know, this is our last assembly which means this is the last time, in front of you guys that I'll be able to tell the most beautiful girl in the world..." "I'm talking about you, Maggie Johnson, that I love you." "I love you, baby." "I do." "I'm gonna put it in my pocket." "(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) I'll save it." "All right, guys." "We're seniors now." "And once we get those diplomas, the decisions that we make after that are all up to us." "I don't know what path life is gonna take me on." "But I can promise you all this..." "That I, for one, will push myself at every stage, at every step." "So, I got one question to ask." "I got one question for the graduating class of 1996 and that's "Will you..."" "(SHOUTS) Check out my Weird Dick!" "(BOYS GROAN)" "(SQUEAKING)" "(ALL GASPING)" "(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)" "Hey." "Here, here man." "(SOFTLY) Thank you." "(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)" "(LOCK RATTLES) (LAUGHTER INTENSIFIES)" "Well, there's no coming back from that." "Calvin Joyner, everybody, voted "Most Likely to Succeed."" "ALL: (CHANTING) Golden Jet!" "Golden Jet!" "Golden Jet!" "("JUMPMAN" BY DRAKE  FUTURE PLAYING)" "(INDISTINCT CHATTER)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hey." "Check it." "What is the matter with you?" "What?" "What do you mean, "What"?" "Why do you think I wanna see that?" "Well, no, I'm working on a new sexting app." "Okay." "It's kind of like Instagram, right?" "But, instead of filters, it just makes your junk look huge." "Like, three to six inches bigger." "It's amazing." "It's called "Junk Mail." Clever, right?" "You know, right now, this little walk right here?" "I kinda want to just take it away from my life." "Why are you all cranky-pants this morning, huh?" "Oh." "It's because Ethan got promoted instead of you?" "Ethan got promoted?" "(SIGHS) Youngest senior associate in the history of the firm." "Corner office, the whole deal." "Didn't he used to be your assistant?" "Who cares!" "Hey, you should come to lunch with us." "We're gonna be celebrating his pro-mosh!" "It'll probably be good for you to kiss the ring a bit." ""Kiss the ring a bit"?" "Hey, you play your chessboard however you like, okay?" "Me, lunch today?" "I'm gonna French kiss that thing." "Aah..." "I can't." "I'm taking my wife to lunch today, so..." "All right." "Bummer for you." "* 'Cause we gonna get hyphy!" "* We gonna get hyphy!" "Right?" "Can you just get out of my face?" "♪Blessed." "(LAUGHTER)" "(MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)" "(INDISTINCT CHATTER)" "To a guy I not only consider my coworker, but my personal friend." "To Ethan!" "Cheers!" "Do you wanna move tables?" "I know this kind of sucks." "No, no." "It doesn't suck." "Hey, if I wanted to get one of those ice teas but I want most of it to be bourbon..." "What is that called?" "Okay." "How about we change the topic to something a little more fun?" "Anything else, please." "Oh, how about..." "This is the dress that I'm thinking about wearing." "CALVIN:" "Oh!" "Honey, I want every single girl to be jealous tomorrow night." "Oh." "What?" "I just..." "I just don't want to go." "Calvin, it's our 20-year high school reunion." "I'm not gonna go without you." "We agreed we were going." "I RSVP'd for us." "I just changed my mind." "That's all." "Okay." "I see." "You're disappointed about the promotion." "I get it." "This is not about the promotion." "Okay, this has to do with me not wanting to spend my Friday night answering the "What are you doing now?" question." "That's what I'll get all night. "Hey, Calvin," ""what are you doing now?" "I'm an accountant."" ""An accountant?" "Really?" ""I thought you would be the governor, man." ""Wait a minute." "Didn't you get voted "'Most Likely to Succeed'?" ""I guess we missed that one."" "Is this why you've been so weird and moody, lately?" "'Cause you're freaking out about the reunion?" "No." "And what's the matter with being an accountant?" "You love your job." "No, you love your job." "I'm good at my job." "It's not the same thing." "Honey, that's not fair." "You're a partner at your firm." "I work in a building with a giant, inflatable gorilla out in front of it." "Look, I don't want to be the guy that peaked in high school and, after he peaked, his life went like this... (IMITATES CRASH)" "I don't know the sound that that thing makes, but you know what I'm trying to do." "I'm the guy that went down, okay?" "Yeah." "Then my life down here became a disappointment." "That's what I'll be." "(SOFTLY) Wow." "What?" "I had no idea that your life with me was such a soundless, crashing disappointment!" "Don't do that." "(IM"