"Previously on "Rescue Me..."" "Oh!" "Whoa!" "What's goin' on?" "What happened to the cookout?" "Headquarters shut us down." "Well, this ain't happening without some noise." " We could use some noise." " Yeah, noise is good." "I think we're all scared." "Aren't you?" " Yeah, I'm scared." " Me, too." "I know I got the brains and the balls to do the job." "All right?" "My old man, he'd be proud." "I know that." "So, mission accomplished." "Maybe I can make just as big a difference in the world doing something else." "Yeah, what else?" "How about something that doesn't involve me getting fried up in a fire?" "God damn it, I don't want to die!" "Nobody's gonna remember me and what I done down there, not the way they're gonna remember what that ballerina did in there tonight." "Who's that?" "That's my cousin, the ex-priest." "I mean the dame." "Oh." "That's Sheila." "Remember I told you me and her had that thing?" "And now she's sleeping with your cousin?" "That's cold." "Guys, there's a school burning down on 117, and there are no available units." "All right, look." "We're gonna respond to this call ourselves." "You got any tools?" "Grab whatever you can." " Got it?" " Got it?" " Got it." "Excuse me." "Those guys that just saved the kids..." "Are they firemen?" "They used to be." "I have a photo of you and Connor when you guys aren't even up to my waist." "Connor probably would have been a lot taller than me now, huh?" "Hey." "Hey." "Got up a little early, and I thought maybe, you know, maybe I'll just make you some breakfast." "And voila." "Yeah." "You actually used the stove." "Well, that first hour was figuring out how to turn it on." "Then I realized I didn't need the bottom part." "I just needed the top part." "And... uh..." "Yeah." "I got that." "Yeah." "There you go." "Uh, yeah." "Ah." "Um, extra crispy bacon and..." "There you go." "All righty." "And coffee." "That's amazing." "So..." "Go ahead." "Eat." "You know, I think I'm just gonna start with some coffee." "Go ahead." "Ok." "It's, uh, good." "This is nice." "You know?" "Uh-huh." "Domestic." "Last night was nice." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah?" "It was... it was nice." "I don't know." "I thought it was..." "Good." "Tommy, no, it was very nice." "You know, it just happened, and I don't really want to dwell on it at the moment." "I think we should..." "dwell on it." "I think that it could..." "Use a little more dwelling." "I think maybe we should..." "Dwell on how we're..." "How much we're gonna dwell on it in the future." "Ok." "So, what does it mean to you?" "To me?" "It, you know, to me..." "You go first." "Ok, let's cut to the chase." "Ok?" "So, we had sex..." "Ok, excuse me, we made love... for the first time in I can't remember how long." "And then I wake up this morning to this... beautifully made breakfast, you know, and a goofy smile plastered on your face." "So, I can only assume that it means that we are starting over..." "All happy, happy, sunshine and roses." "Ok." "It was not a goofy smile." "It was just a regular smile." " Ok." " Ok?" "Mm-hmm." "And I'm not... nobody's saying, "happy, happy" anything." "I'm just saying that last night, something happened." "It was a natural thing." "It just... it happened, like you said." "But I thought, you know, I don't know." "To me, it was a sign of maybe the beginning of a re-comm... commitment thing." "Can you say that again without stuttering?" "I...felt like it was..." "something." " Ok." " Ok." "Ok." "You know, we can give this one more shot." "Ok." "Ok?" "But this is the last time." "Ok?" "'Cause we can't play these games anymore, Tommy." "You know?" "And the two of us, we obviously have a high threshold for misery, but," "Ok, what we are doing to the kids, no more." " Ok?" "So, if this crashes and burns..." " No." " If this is yet another one of your empty promises..." " No, no, no." "Ok." "But if it is, then you need to know that it will be the cruelest, most damaging, most hurtful last thing that you ever do to me." "I understand." "Ok." "And, I mean, if this is gonna work, then there are no outside distractions." "None." "Totally here." "No Sheila." "Zero contact." "Ok?" "You can say good-bye to her one last time, but then..." "That's it." "Yeah." "Done deal." "Ok." "Good." "And, you know, same thing goes for you and, uh, Franco." "Excuse me?" "You and Franco... you know, same thing." "Done deal." "No contact." "Tommy, Franco was nothing." "Yeah, right." "Lips... big, gorgeous girl lips." "You don't have to tell me about the lips." "And pretty eyes and long lashes." "All right, I haven't spent that much time looking at his eyeballs, but, you know." "Ok..." "Tommy, he was pretty." " That's it." " Look." "Um, what you had with Sheila, you know, the two of you turning to each other in grief after Jimmy..." "That was emotional betrayal for me." "I was your wife." "Just..." "You turning to her was..." "It was like a dagger to my heart." "Ok." "I got it." "Done deal." "Ok." " So, you can see her one last time." " Got it." "But if I find out that you guys have seen each other afterwards or if there's anything going on between you..." "Nothing." "Nothing." "Not happening." "Ok." "Where's the..." "Hmm." "Uh, are you looking for the cap?" "Yes." "Oh." "I thought that was the pepper." "♪ On another day, c'mon, c'mon, with these ropes I tied, can we do no wrong?" "Now we grieve, 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, with my teeth locked down," "I can see the blood, of a thousand men who have come and gone, now we grieve, 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, is it safe to say?" "C'mon, c'mon, was it right to leave?" "C'mon, c'mon, will I ever learn?" "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon ♪" "Now, I've known this guy 40-plus years, so let me do the talking." "All right." "How hard you gonna push?" "Don't have to push." "It's politics, stroking egos." "Sounds more like stroking cocks." "Any of that going on, you're gonna be the one doing it." "This is about me trading on a long relationship and you standing in the corner keeping your piehole shut." "Otherwise, we'll never get this house reopened." "So, what are you telling me?" " All the letters from the locals, all the petitions and..." " Ooh." "Wait a minute." "Where are the letters?" "Shit." "I had it on the desk." "You forgot the goddamn letters." "I could have sworn I took 'em." "Jesus Christ." "Why don't you admit you're out to sink us?" "Now, you want the house to close." "That way, you're not connected to any of the crew's hijinks, and then you can come down here and slide behind a desk nice and easy." "You shut your face." "Goddamn letters and petitions..." "They don't mean shit, anyway." "They go from his desk over to the circular file." "You don't do anymore talking, not until we leave these premises." "Done." " Hey, Dickie." " God damn it." "Dickiebird, how are you?" "I haven't seen your ugly mug in a million years." " Dickiebird and Sid the yid together again." " That's right." "That's what we used to call him back in probie school..." "Sid the yid." " He's a Jew, you know." " Do tell." "And we used to call him Dickiebird" "Because..." "My name is Dick, but my first day on the job, my first call," "I kid you not, a bird shits on my head." "Plop." "It's supposed to be good luck when that happens." " Hey!" "I'm still here, huh?" " Right." "18 years up in the Bronx, 29 years down here." "Not bad." "Listen, Dickie." "You know why we're here." "I wanted to..." "I'm gonna cut you off at the pass, Sid, save us all some time." "It wasn't an easy decision." "We took a lot of factors into consideration." "Ok, what sort of factors were considered?" "Let me finish." "There were three of us making final recommendations to headquarters." "And I gotta tell you, as much as nobody likes to see houses closing, I think we did a goddamn good job in terms of getting rid of some, you know, overlapping services and some underperforming houses and..." "I gotta be honest..." "One or two trouble houses." "I know we got a couple of bad apples, I'm not gonna deny that." "But our response times are solid." "Calls are up 20%." "Your guys up on the West Side," "They're gonna be beating their ass trying to..." "It's done, Sid." "Ok?" "You want to sit and talk about the old days for a couple of minutes, please." "But your house is closed, and I'm not discussing it any further." "Ok." "Ok?" "Ok?" "That's all the fight you got?" "I'd like to talk to Dick alone, ok?" "Now, I'll talk to him." "Dick, I'm not your old pal, which means I don't have to sit here and eat your shit sandwich with a big smile on my face." "Who is this guy?" "You know who I am." "I'm one of the new guys..." "You know, the pseudo-chiefs you old-timers can't stand." "But I got a good crew under me." "And breaking us up isn't gonna do the department any goddamn good." "Plus, I got a neighborhood that needs me." "Now, I know city hall needs to see some more white faces uptown before they give a shit about providing basic services..." "Are you lecturing me, shithead?" "Because this is my office you're in." "You don't tell me what's good for the department." "You're new here." "I've been FDNY almost 50 years." " I'll buy you a goddamn cake." " Watch your tongue." "But if the candles catch the place on fire, you better hope there's an open house nearby." " Get him out of here." " Come on, let's go." "I don't know if you heard, Dickie, but my boys had a bunch of saves at a school for deaf kids the other day." "Yeah." "They responded in their own vehicles with no tools, no bunker gear, and they got every kid out of there safely, just as your trucks were rolling up." "Better late than never, huh?" "Maybe you should have that painted on all your vehicles from now on." "None of those men were authorized to report to that call." "And none of those kids were authorized to burn to death." " Sid, get him out of here." " Let's go." "I don't know if you heard." "We also got some video." "Pay attention." "We shot this ourselves 'cause there's not a lot of news crews uptown." "But it's all there..." "My guys responding, my guys bringing the kids out safely, your trucks arriving in what I would not call a timely fashion." "That's for you to watch and enjoy." "I got other copies... for the "Times," for the "Post,"" "and for the "Daily News." And just in case what I'm hearing is true about print media being dead, this whole footage is getting posted on Youtube." "Yeah." "That's the newfangled interweb you've heard so much about." "When you go home, have one of your grandkids type in "FDNY turns deaf ear to disabled children."" "See what comes up." "If you think you can come in here and push me around, pal..." "No, no, no..." "I don't think I can." "I've seen this footage." "I know I can.." "Feel that on your head, Dickie?" "You just got shit on again." "Shalom." "We'll talk." " I never thought I'd say this, kid." " What's that?" "God damn, I love the Internet." "Ok, guys." "Rest easy." "I found the porn." "It's still here." " Yeah, the gay stuff is Tommy's." " Ha ha." "Don't need trucks or gear." "Damn sure can't do the job without the porn." "Let me get this straight." "You've been gone for about an hour and 15 minutes looking for the porn." "At least." "Ok, funny story." "Once I got to looking through it," "I had to make a little pit stop and give the old doodle dandy a yankee, if you know what I mean." "Oh." "You know, I was jerkin' off." "Yeah, we got it." "All right." "Jeez." "Let me get this straight." "Everything in the refrigerator has turned except the potato salad?" "Well, kind of." "It... it tastes a little like feet." "But you're still eating it." "I said, "a little like feet."" "And you better get rid of that smut before the chief sees it." " Hey, chief!" " Hey." "How we doin'?" "Hey." "Good." "Good." "Everything present and accounted for?" "Yes, sir." "Boy, I'm telling you, I never thought we'd be back here again." "No, neither did we, huh?" "What the hell." "Yeah." " Here we are." " All right, chief." "No thanks to you." "What did you say?" "Nothin'." "No, no, big man." "Let's hear it..." "Nice and loud so everybody can hear." "Ok." "I said, "no thanks to you."" "I thought that's what you said." "You little turd." "How dare you talk to me like that." "Don't you ever, ever talk to me..." " Hey, man!" " Stay out of this, Gavin." "Between me and the kid." "I'm sorry, all right?" "I don't give a shit what you are." "All my years of service, I gotta put up with garbage like that, like you?" "Stack my medals up, they stand taller than you, asshole." "What gives you the right to mouth off to me like that?" "Hey, chief, you know, we all heard what happened downtown." "Yeah." "Oh, so, uh, our pal Needles hero comes in *** this morning, huh?" "It's all the "hail the conquer hero" and all that bullshit, huh?" "Screw the yid and kiss the Guinea's ass." "Right?" "What did he say?" "He said you forgot the letters and the petition." "That's right." "I did." "My fault." "But it wouldn't have done any good, anyway." "Yeah, well, they probably wouldn't have hurt." "Oh, now you're the expert on how to handle HQ?" "Huh, Rivera?" "Tell me, genius, what would you have done?" "Hey, look, chief, you know, I'm actually much more interested in what you did." "All right?" "Or what you didn't do, because quite honestly, it doesn't sound like you did very much." "I didn't have the chance." "I wanted to work the guy..." "Call in a few favors, treat him with a little respect, play it so that all of us could walk away thinking we're winners." "But no." "He wouldn't give me the chance." "Right away, it wants to turn it into a confrontation... blackmail, extortion." "I'm surprised he didn't piss on the guy's desk." "Whatever he did, it worked." "Back in business." "Oh, isn't that wonderful?" "We're back in business." "Meanwhile, 'cause of what he did, we have zero political clout downtown." "And you can thank your pal chief Nelson." "Get on the goddamn truck." "Garrity, get rid of the porn cooler." "Battalion." "Listen up, you guys." "We have intel from the partner buildings that the landlord has sliced this place up like a cheap salami." " So, heads-up." " Goddamn motel no tell." " All right." "Garrity, Franco..." " Yeah." "Rear fire escape." "Tommy, Shawn, you guys head to the basement." "Damian, you come with me." "We'll do a sweep from here up." "And let's stay together inside!" "Fire department." "Hello!" "What do we got here?" " Rise and shine, my brother." " What's going on?" "Come on." "We gotta move." "Why come?" ""Why come." Nice grammar." "Come on." "Come on, man." "Let's make moves." "Come on." "Up the stairs." "Come on, man." " Let's go!" " Hello!" "FDNY!" "Bring out your dead!" ""Bring out your dead"?" "What the hell does that mean?" "Come on." "Monty Python?" "What the hell are they teaching you kids in school nowadays?" "I don't know." "How to cook crystal meth and have unprotected sex." "Oh." "I'm going back to school." "Ohh." " What's up?" " Listen, I'm good here." "Why don't you go help Tommy and Sean with the sweep?" " You said stick together." " And now I'm saying unstick." "Go." "Oh, shit." "We got one, Lou." "Hey." "We got one, chief, second floor." "It's all right, ma'am." "We're gonna get you out of here." "Ok?" " My... my grandbaby." " Where?" " It's...uh..." "Please." " Can you hear that?" "Ma'am, you gonna have to come with me, ok?" "You're gonna have to carry me, boy." "My leg's busted." "Yeah." "All right, just give me a minute on that, ok?" "Don't worry." "Wait!" "You're still here?" "Yeah, yeah." "She's a little heavy." "Well look who's talking." "I got no baby in there, ma'am." "She's in the dresser drawer!" "Oh, yeah." "Naturally." "You know, you might want to lead with that info next time." "That's ok." "Don't you worry about the baby." "He's the best that we have at finding babies." "Hey, kid." "Let's get you out of here, ok?" "Hey." "Where's Damian?" "He and Lou are bringing one out." "Lou, what's your status?" "I'm still single." " We're heading home." " Oh, God." "I'm supposed to be leaning on you!" "You're leaning on me, you old fat ass." "I'm not fat, lady." "It's... it's the pants." "Now, come on." "Let's keep moving." " I got a baby!" " Hey." " All right." " I got a baby." "Huh?" " I got a baby!" " You said that already." "Here, careful." "It's a baby." "How about that, huh?" "She's got your hunter's cap." "She's not gonna let go." "There you go." "How are you feeling?" " I just saved a baby." " Yeah." " You see that?" " I saw it." "I just saved a baby." "I just saved a frickin' baby." "I don't even like babies, and I'm psyched." "I know." "You stepped on my toe!" "You all right?" "On my toe." "Got it, got it, got it." "Uhh." "Oh, thank you." "You all right?" "Oh, yeah." "Perfect..." "How about a roast beef sandwich?" "Ok, we can make that happen." "Or 2 roast beef sandwiches." "My God." "Whoo!" " Hey." " Shh." " What?" " Lou's sleeping." "Well, Lou, we can go talk somewhere else if you want." "No, stay." "You know, if..." "If it looks like I've stopped breathing or" "I'm dead, just pound my chest really, really hard." "You got it." "Anyway, listen." "I've been thinking about Pat." "Yeah, dude." "Me." "Too." "You know, I don't think it worked out so well, you know?" "Taking him to the ballet and all those regrets he told us about." "I don't think we can do anything about those, dude." "I know, man." "Oh, here's the thing." "Remember Pat was talking about, like wanting to be remembered and all that shit?" "Yeah, was that before or after he tried to piss in the fountain?" "Before, I think." "Anyway, here's what we gotta do." "We gotta convince him that he will be remembered." "And who are the people that are gonna remember him the most, huh?" "Who are they?" "Do I get a multiple choice?" "No, dick." "His saves..." "People he saved in a fire." " Yes." " Huh?" "You're brilliant, dude." "I can be." "I just don't try that hard most of the time." "Yeah, I know that feeling." "Anyway, I got on the phone with his last firehouse, and" "I got a list of some names and addresses of some of his old saves." "And tonight, we're gonna go out, and we're gonna start the Pat Mahoney appreciation tour." "That way, he knows that he'll always be remembered long after he's gone." " You like it?" " It's so nice, dude." " What's wrong?" "I'm choking up." " You know why that is?" " Why?" "Well, I can make this a multiple choice for you." ""A," you're gay. "B," you're super gay, like meet George Michael in a back alley gay." "Or 3, mmm, your pants are on fire filet mignon gay." "Or "D," all of the above." "It's your call." "See you tonight." "It's "D."" "What's up to the probie?" "I gotta give you props, son." " A baby save's a big one, man." " Thank you." "Yeah." "This morning, you barely had any hair on your balls, and now you got a full-grown beard, huh?" "Yeah." "Well, if I'm such a big hero, how come I still gotta polish the rig?" "Law of the land." "Yeah, man." "That's the rules of the roost." "I know it sucks, but one baby save don't change the fact that you're still a pissant, grunt-faced, lower than turtle shit probie." " No doubt." " All right, listen." "I need some advice." "I don't know who else to turn to." "About pussy?" "Yeah." "How'd you know?" "Ok." "Well, I mean, if you're asking me for advice, it damn sure ain't about quantum mechanics." "Shoot." "All right." "Well, I'm seeing Penny tonight, right?" "And it's like our third date." "And I'm just worried that if" "I don't make a move soon, then, you know, she's..." "She's gonna think you're queer." " Exactly." " Right." "So, what do I do?" "What do I say to, you know, steer things into the sack?" "Heh." "It's easy." "Hey..." "Listen carefully to my man pretty Frank on this player shit." "You understand what this is." "This is Luke talking to Yoda in the swamp, only it's not about the force." "It's about the pussy." "Ears wide open, son." "Ok." "All right, young Jedi, now, listen up." "This is the play." "All right?" "You start off telling her about the save." "Ok?" "And then you segue into something like this." "So, I had that baby in my hands, fire all around me." "I'm running for the door." "And I thought to myself," ""if I were to die right now, today, would I have any regrets whatsoever?"" "And I could only think of one." "And that would be not taking our relationship to the next level..." " Making it physical." " Mmm." "Making the connection between you and me stronger, deeper, and more real." "I know I could go to my final resting place a happy man, with no regrets." "Mmm." "If you can get a little misty around the eyes, that always helps." "Next thing you know, you're getting your lightsaber serviced." "Yoda!" "Mm-hmm." "Do I remember him?" "You gotta be kiddin'." "Not a day goes by I don't throw a prayer in your direction, brother." "Right." "You could have aimed a little better, I guess." "He's got cancer from working down at ground zero." " Jesus." "That ain't right." " Yeah." " Can I tell you something?" " Yeah." "A few days after 9/11, they start talking about missing firemen in the paper." "Pretty soon, they had a list." "Every day, I'd go through that list." "I'd look for your name, which I never forgot." "I remember the paper was shaking in my hands." "I almost didn't want to look, hoping and praying I wouldn't find your name there." "When it wasn't, I figured you were down there digging for the names that were." "Now this." "It ain't fair." "No, it ain't." "A bowl of soup." "Come on." " No, no, thanks." "I- ..." "I'll have a bowl of soup." "Thanks." "You got cancer?" "No." "I did, though." "I'm better now." "I'll give you a cup." "So, like, all right." "I'm in this burning room, right?" "And I'm holding this poor, defenseless little baby, and there's fire all around me." "There's no exit in sight." "And I'm thinking to myself," ""if I die right now, will I have any regrets?"" "And I realized" "I had only one." "If I left this planet without us taking our relationship to the next level, like, that would be..." "Hold up." "Are you trying to say that you want to bang me?" "Yeah, pretty much." "God damn." "There's always gotta be some big speech." "Ok." "Um, why don't you tell me the rest of whatever it was that you rehearsed on the way back to my place." " Ok." " Chop, chop, Keefe." "All right." "Let's do this." "Jared Williams?" "What'd you want to see him about?" "Uh, we're firefighters." "And our buddy here saved Mr. Williams back in February 2004." "Whew." "Should have let his ghetto ass burn." "I'll tell you that much." "Nice." "Well, is he here?" "Do you know if he's around?" " No, he's not." " Ok." "He's in prison... serving 4 life sentences back to back to back to back." "Crackhead asshole." "Killed his lady and 3 kids right here in this house." "Should have let his ass burn up." "That lady and her 3 kids still be alive today." "Dude, I told you we should have checked out these folks beforehand." "It's a minor bump in the road." "This next one...it's gonna be great." "Come on." "That was..." "Fast." "Really?" "I think it may have taken me longer to say, "that was fast."" "Yeah, I don't know." "I don't know." "Like, I was just really focused on what was taking place, you know, in the moment." " Felt like at least, like..." " 12 seconds." "Is that good or bad?" "Jesus." "Please don't tell me you're a virgin." "Or please tell me you're a virgin, 'cause that would explain you being so clueless." "No, I'm not a virgin." "All right?" "Thank God." "There was this girl..." "a woman, actually... back in high school, one of my teachers, Mrs. Turbody." "Wait." "So, you were molested?" "Repeatedly." "And I enjoyed it." "Ok." "Uh, but was there actual intercourse?" "Uh, no." "No." "But it was definitely headed in that direction, and then" "I told my Uncle Tommy about it, and all hell broke loose." "So, just now was the first time?" "That you've ever actually..." "Yeah." "So, you're a virgin." "Well, I was a minute and 12 seconds ago, yeah." "I find them..." "I don't know how." "Ok, Keefe?" "I really like you." "I do." "So, we're gonna pretend that the first time never happened." " Ok." " Ok?" "So, the next time..." "We are gonna take it slowly." "And you're gonna kiss me." "And then you're gonna run your fingers gently across my inner thigh." "And they you're gonna go down on me." "Got it?" "Yeah." "Got it." "Where are you goin'?" " What?" "I thought that we were gonna..." " This isn't homework." "You're gonna try this right now." " Oh." " Uh-huh." "Very cool." "And, um..." "I think it's gonna take a little longer this time." "Oh, good. 'Cause we're aiming for anything more 12 seconds." "Oh." "Heh." "So, what?" "He wants a medal from me?" "Huh?" "Uh, he... he saved your life, Mr. Weiss, 10 years ago when your neighbor's Christmas tree caught on fire..." "You don't think I remember?" "Unlike you, asshole, I was there." "Ok." "Mr. Weiss, there's no need to get testy." "We just..." "You were right." "We should have checked these people out beforehand." " Um..." " This guy shows up." "I tell him, "My wife's in the next room." "Get my wife."" "But he don't listen." "No." ""Someone else will get her." "She'll be fine," he says." "But she wasn't fine, was she?" "She was dead!" "52 years married at that time, my Sophie..." "Dead." "Because of your friend." "So, I don't say, "thank you," I say, "spit on you!" You hear me?" "I'm gonna spit on you!" "Ok." "Well, this has been great." "Norman, thank you so much." "Uh, boys, I think we should..." "Go." "Well?" "16 seconds." "What?" "No." "That was way longer than 16 seconds." "No." "I counted from penetration on." "Total 16 seconds." "Yeah, well... better than 12." "30% better, actually." "You know, at this rate, if we keep going like this, like..." "Yeah." "You'll last a whole minute by Christmas." "Yeah." "That's gonna be sweet." "So, that's it?" "Yeah." "Ok." "You can go now." "Let's go." "Up and at 'em." "What?" "What?" "I was just making sure you were, you know, that you were all right." "Yeah." " I'm great." " Ok." "This isn't over because you crawled over here with your tail tucked between your legs." "It is over because I decided it was over ages ago, when I realized that I needed something more than the occasional crazy-ass booze-infested bonking when I rummaged through the rubble of this bullshit relationship... which is really just a giant goddamn series of one-night stands... and I picked out the one, maybe two, golden nuggets that remained..." "I succumbed to the fact that all you ever did" "was disappoint me." "Really?" "Really." "Ok." "How's that?" "You want the list?" "There's a list?" " Yeah." "I got a list a mile goddamn long." " Oh, really?" " Yeah." "You want to hear that list?" " No, no." "You know what?" "No." "I do not want to hear the list, ok?" "As a matter of fact, I, ok, have no interest in the list." "And I'll tell you why." "Because I am approaching this..." "I'm bigger than this..." "I am bigger than this." "What's on the list?" "You used me." "Oh, please." "You did." "You used me to ease your own guilt..." "Your guilt about Jimmy, your guilt about the fact that your wife didn't seem to give enough of a shit about you." "You promised me that we had something, that whatever it was we were doing was gonna lead somewhere." "You used my kid to live out fantasies about your own kid after he died." "You made him into a fireman, you made him into a hero, then you promised me that you were gonna do something to change his mind, and then, poof." "Nothing!" "Nada." "Zippo." "Zilch." "You never took me anywhere." "You never bought me anything." "You never even wondered out loud what it is that I might want, because it was all about you, you, you, you, big nose." "And let's see." "There was one more thing." "Oh, yeah." "The sex sucked." " The sex didn't suck." " Yeah, it did." " No, it didn't." "Yeah." "It did not." "Bullshit." "Sweetheart, it totally sucked, because you would come over here drunk or to get drunk..." "You told me I could come over here and drink." "In a rage, and it would just be like this slapping and" " screaming at each other..." " Yeah." "It would be this vicious, wonderful, furious action." "Big whoop, Tommy." "You couldn't do the same thing sober." "'Cause it's not just about the action." "It is about emotion and connection, and I don't even think that you ever looked me in the eyes once when we did it." "I mean, if it was like really great sex..." "I wouldn't have a list now, would I?" "You're telling me that you have no..." "feelings for me." "Oh, no, I do." "I've got feelings of pity for you." "Oh, bullshit." " I'm with Mickey now." " Yeah." "And he is this close to getting Damian to change his mind about his life path." "And..." "No offense, but my God, he is a fabulous kisser." "Mmm." "Mmm, let me just..." "You're telling me that..." "If I was to kiss you right now, you..." "You wouldn't feel anything." "I'm sober." "You're sober." "That ship doesn't even have a sail." "Mm-hmm." "Mmm." "Bacon." "See you later." "Ok." "Mmm." "Mm-hmm." "Mmm." "Oh." "You're disgusting!" "Knock it off." "Mmm." "You lied, didn't you?" " Yes, I did." " Yeah." "You did." "Ah." "Got it." "All right." "This is the end of it." "Ok." "It has to be." "Ok." "You gotta be shittin' me." "What..." "Oh." "No, no, no." "Oh!" "Mickey no." "Oh, Mickey, no, no, no, no!" "No, no." "Mick, wait." "Wait." "Wait." "I'm trying to..." "Ay!" "Ow, my ass!" " Get off of me." " My hand." "What's happening?" "What..." "I'm stuck in..." "Oh, my..." "There it is." "Wait." "Mickey?" "Mickey?" "Mickey?" "Heh heh heh." "Ho ho ho." "Hey, you're in your underwear." "Where's my dress?" "Where's my dress?" " It's on, but it's all..." " Aah!" "Shit." "God damn it." "Who are you calling?" "Domino's pizza." "Who do you think I'm calling?" "Him." "If he calls Janet or shows up at my house, I'm dead." "Hey." "Hey." "Why don't you think about me for once, huh?" "You asshole." "Why can't you think with your brain instead of your cock?" "'Cause apparently, my brain is in my cock." "Yeah." "Who are you calling?" "My vaginey, to tell her to stay away from you." "That's so funny." "Was that the beep?" "Oh, my God." "Ok." "I hope you didn't hear that, but if you heard that, it's totally ok..." "Hey, Mick, you did not see what you thought you saw." "Now..." "Hey, you're ruining my message!" "Your message is making it worse." "Listen to me." "Don't call Janet." "Don't go to my house." "We were trying to prove that we weren't attracted to each other." " Right." "Right." "Which we are." " Yes." " Not." "Not." " No.." " Listen, I know it looked weird." "It's..." " Oh, Mickey, please come back here..." "I'm telling you that it was... it was a stupid mistake." "It's not what you thought you saw." "So, please call us." "Don't..." "Just call us." "Please forgive me, putty." "Putty?" "I tot I taw a putty-tat." "That's..." "That's cute." "You couldn't let me go, could you?" "You know?" " I was halfway out the goddamn door..." " Shut up." "And you had to push my goddamn buttons." " Shut up!" " It's all your fault!" " Go to hell!" " Guess what, sweetheart?" "I'm already there." "Which one?" "Figure it out." "Ah, ha!" "Don't you slam that door." "Don't you slam that door!" "All right, Patty, boy, a couple more stops, if you can risk it." "Might want to pick up a bulletproof vest first." "Yeah." "We're sorry, dude." "It was supposed to be a good thing, you know?" "Oh, hey, guys, guys, don't worry." "This job..." "This job is a good thing." "Ok?" "It don't matter if they don't get it." "Shit..." "Best days of my life were spent running in the burning shitholes, uptown, downtown, Bronx, Brooklyn." "Yeah." "Most times, anyplace you are, it's... people who are in some kind of dire straits you gotta go in and get, you know?" "The poor, the messed-up drunks, people down on their luck." "You don't get to pick who you save, right?" "Comes with the territory." "I mean, if saves had to fill out goddamn personality tests before we ran in to grab 'em, we'd probably let most of 'em fry." "Well, we're sorry." "You know?" "Dude, I still think it was a good idea, though, you know?" "Like, if I were, like, dying, I would totally want you to do this for me." "You know, that's a little morbid, but at least I'd check everybody out next time." "Yeah, you gotta, dude." "Hey, pal, what do you think, man?" "We should stop for a brew or something before we head back to the hospital, huh?" "Patty?" "Pat?" "Hey, Pat?" "Pat?" "Hello?" "Hey." " Hey, daddy." " Hi." " How was your day?" " Good." " Good." " What's goin' on?" "Uh, nothing." "Just making dinner." " Where's your mother?" " Hi." " Hi." " Hey." " Hi." " Mmm." "How was your day?" " Good." " Yeah?" "Yeah." "How was..." "How's everything here?" "Good." "Good." "So, what's happening?" "Just cooking dinner." "Cool." "So, uh, everything's, uh..." "Looks good." "Thank you." "Sit, sit, sit." "We made you this dinner." " Ok." "I am ready for..." " Good." "Dinner." "So, uh..." "Anybody, um, call?" "Uh, nope." "Nobody called?" "Cool." "Where's, uh, Katy?" "She's in her bedroom doing homework." "Would you please go get her for dinner?" "Yep." "Katy, dinner!" "I could have done that." "All righty." "This looks great." "Hey, cuz." "Hey." "What's up?" "Come on, Uncle Mickey." "Sit down."