"CHILD'S VOICE:" "Ayúdame..." "(song playing)" "MAN:" "Whoa!" "We got a fire!" "Lock it up!" "Lock it up now!" "Two of three..." "Two out of three!" "What the fuck?" "Hey, mother fucker!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Calm down!" "Get in the cab!" "Go with them!" "(police sirens blaring)" "Nine lives, monje." "So we clean?" "Yeah, we only got two." "No, no, you did good." "That's a good score." "There's ten." "We'll see what the numbers say." "Probably another 200 percent." "Give us a minute?" "Look into those papers?" "You don't want to do this." "He's got people everywhere." "He will find you." "Look, just keep your head down, do your time." "I've done my time." "Hey, I get that, but you keep him happy, you'll keep earning..." "Tommy." "Alright." "My guy says that it takes a week for a passport... 5K." "7K if you want a birth certificate." "Okay." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "Alright, just hit me up in a couple of days." "Yeah." "(sirens blaring)" "No cops yet... figures." "Umm... give them a minute." "We'll just start staging until they get here." "Sam!" "Shit!" "Hi honey, can we come in?" "My mom!" "She..." "Wake up, hey..." "You're okay..." "You're okay..." "No, no, she's fine, she's fine, she just fell down." "It's fine, it's fine, man, it's cool." "We just got a call, we got to come check it out." "Miss, miss, can you hear me?" "You guys need to go, man." "Take it easy, have a seat." "I don't want to sit down..." "She's fine, man." "Hon, can you tell me what happened?" "You guys need to go!" "You need to go, man!" "Take it easy, man." " You need to go!" " It's alright." "She's alright though." "You don't have to push." "I'm gonna make sure." "Hey, get the fuck out of here, man!" "Sir, stop right there!" "Stop right there, sir!" "Sir!" "You get the fuck out of my house!" "James?" "James?" "Honey, what's your name?" "Julia." "Julia?" "Okay Julia, I know you're scared, but I need you," "I need you to be a hero." "Julia?" "Julia..." "Can you be my hero?" "Okay." "I need you to hold your hands on your mom's head like this, okay?" "And I want you to look up there at the clock and I want you to count the seconds for me, okay?" "Okay, don't look down here, I want you to stay looking at the clock and you count the seconds." "Okay, you counting?" "Yeah." "Okay, I don't hear you." "12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22..." "There we go..." "There we go." "Good, okay." "You did good, Julia, come here." "It can feel futile, you know?" "Just seeing pain every day... starts to make things feel meaningless." "I tell myself I know it's not meaningless." "I know it's not." "I just want to change things, make it all better." "What things?" "Just..." "The inevitable?" "You wish you could have stopped things?" "Things you regret?" "Do you want to talk about that?" "Not really." "I think you've been doing a lot better lately." "You've been staying busy, keeping yourself distracted." "You're still." "You've got to work on that." "(speaking Hindi)" "Shit!" "Fuck!" "(sirens wailing)" "My mom... she..." "Wake up!" "Hey, you're okay!" "No, no, she's fine, she just fell down..." "It's fine, we got a call, we gotta come check it out." "Miss, miss, can you hear me?" "Sir, stop right there!" "Stop right there!" "Stop right there, sir!" "You get the fuck out of my house!" "Julia, can you be my hero?" "Okay." "...starts to make things feel meaningless..." "I tell myself," "I know it's not meaningless..." "I know it's not." "I just want to change things, make it all better." "What's shakin', Francois?" "Blub, blub, blub, blub." "Noodles, you make my life amazing..." "Broccoli!" "Okay." "You're telling me you've had these guys wired for eight weeks and you don't know where or who they're gonna hit?" "We need more time, the orders are coming across the border..." "Tell your guys to make the deal." "They take the bait, we move in on it." "Lock it up!" "Lock it up now!" "No, what are you doing?" "Look into those papers?" "You don't want to do this, he's got people everywhere, he will find you." "Look, just keep your head down, do your time." "I've done my time." "Yeah, I get that but..." "(coughing)" "Oh, son of a bitch..." "You got it?" "Yeah." "They tell me a bunch of designer clothes got dropped off yesterday, you know about that?" "You think I wear designer clothes?" "What's going on over here?" "Philanthropy wasn't paying so I started slinging that junk." "Won't get you high, but the diarrhea is incredible!" "(laughing and coughing)" "I'm burning up here, wanna give me some of that?" "Don't get all romancy on me there, Carla gets jealous." "Don't flatter yourself, I could do a lot better." "Could you?" "Where is she then, huh?" "I don't have any time." "Bullshit." "Hey, what are you doing?" "My company's not good enough for you?" "Well, unless you want to play a little Debussy yourself..." "I dug up that fiddle I've been holding for you the other day." "You take it with you, I've had it long enough." "I can't..." "I'm leaving town." "Are you?" "Where are you going?" "I'm just getting free of everything." "Is that gonna be safe?" "I got it worked out." "Well, she belongs with you." "(coughing)" "Don't do this to him..." "Don't do this, you fuck!" "Not this time..." "He's been through enough." "You fuck!" "(ringing)" "Yeah?" "I'm calling about the papers." "Yeah, we're set, meet me here at 10:00." "TV COMMERCIAL:" "There's no need to haggle..." "We'll give you our lowest price up front!" "And all vehicles are backed by Planet's five day, 250-mile money back guarantee!" "VOICES:" "Por favor!" "Por favor no!" "Ayúdame..." "Ayúdame..." "What the fuck?" "Hello?" "TV COMMERCIAL: ...each with a story to tell..." "Introducing the Lost and Found Collection from Sofa Mart." "Intricate detail..." "Ed Henry was very clever about this, by the way..." "El número..." "It had to be some kind of prank, right?" "Sam, it was a prank." "You got goofed, and then you called the police..." "You called the police, right?" "Yeah." "Ha!" "Shit!" "Umm... did they, you know, take you seriously?" "Doesn't matter..." "I just..." "Okay, alright, I'm sorry." "Alright, go ahead, please." "I just feel like I'm not right in the head or something." "Hey, hey, you're not alone, okay?" "I'm here if you ever want to talk, or..." "James!" "Hey, hey... you!" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing, girl?" "You totally missed Chad's party!" "No, I was there, I just..." "I had to come late." "Alex, hace años." "You've been doing good work." "Tommy tell you how much we cleared on Drake?" "Was a good score." "How you been?" "You been good?" "Yeah." "Good... that's good." "We got something new..." "something big." "Los Dominicanos." "Narcotics." "I don't do that anymore." "Talk to Desiderio, my deal is no weapons." "Estimated 2.5, maybe three." "But we're going to have to get our hands dirty." "Dirty hands means doing time." "I'm not going back." "Desi know about this?" "The Dominicans?" "You running from your debt?" "Desi know about this?" "He doesn't need to know." "He's happy as long as you're earning, no?" "I tell you what..." "You do this, I can look the otherway." "Freedom has a cost." "Hey..." "You look good... in your uniform and all." "Why didn't you call?" "That's just it... um..." "Dennis ran out of minutes on his phone and..." "We're a little short on cash for the next week and a half." "We appreciate everything you've done for us and we're gonna pay you back, I swear, it's just..." "I just need a little something to get by until Dennis gets paid for the accident..." "I can't, Ma." "Wait, wait... just hear me," "Just listen, please... please." "Baby, if I don't get a little money, I ain't gonna eat." "There are food banks, Ma." "Baby please, I just need a little money to get by." "I can't." "I can let you use my phone if you want to try and call someone." "You're gonna do this to me?" "You're gonna look down on me?" "Judge me?" "Huh?" "Oh, what, am I a little too loud for your friends?" "Don't you forget, baby, I've been there since the beginning, I know who you are." "Now you might have been fooling them, but you ain't fooling me," "I know who you are and I know what you done." "So you'rejust gonna help Mama out and we're gonna forget all about this, right?" "Samantha!" "Samantha, wait!" "You really want that piece of shit?" "I got a 70-inch TV right over there that's perfect for gaming." "How much?" "15 bucks." "Oh shit..." "VOICES:" "No!" "No!" "Porfavor!" "Alex!" "What the hell?" "What the fuck?" "Do you see me?" "(knocking on door)" "What is this?" "What is this?" "Who are you?" "How are you doing that?" "Who are you?" "You talking to me?" "Alex, what the fuck!" "Bama?" "Yeah..." "Bama!" "What the fuck is going on?" "Open the fucking door!" "Come on, man!" "Fuck!" "What are you doing?" "Put the fucking bat down!" "Who you yelling at?" "Is this a joke?" "What?" "Is this a fucking joke?" "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" "My TV!" "There's some sort of surveillance." "Your TV?" "What's with all the boxes?" "What could they have on you?" "Everything's been clean." "She looked like the chick on "Urban Hope?"" "What did she say?" "Nothing." "It doesn't make sense." "Maybe there was some sort of surveillance or something." "That TV come with like a webcam or something?" "No, it didn't come with a fucking webcam." "You watch "Urban Hope?"" "What?" "No." "Fuck this." "Where you goin'?" "Motel." "What about Tommy's?" "(phone ringing)" "Hello?" "Hey..." "He awake?" "No... no, he's resting right now..." "He had a rough day." "Okay." "I'll tell him you called." "Is this your number?" "Okay, thank you." "Have you had any health problems recently?" "Fever, kidney illness, liver problems?" "No." "No drugs?" "Anything that might cause an hallucination?" "No." "Tell me about seeing your mother." "How did that make you feel?" "She's not my mother." "I don't understand what that has to do with hallucinations." "Did it bring up the past?" "Maybe your time on the street?" "The pregnancy?" "I'm trying to get to the heart of this, Samantha." "Hallucinations can be a symptom of psychotic depression, even schizophrenia, so we need to take this thing seriously." "I want you to come in a couple times a week for a while." "I'm going to hold off on any anti-psychotics for now, but I want to put you on an anti-depressant." "I think it would be a good idea for you to take some time off work, and keep the TV off." "Find some other ways to keep yourself distracted." "It felt real." "Hi!" "How are you today?" "Good, you?" "Well, it's almost the end of the day, so that's always a good thing." "That's good." "What do you have here?" "Tim will ring you up." "TV:" "You look good... in your uniform and all." "Why didn't you call?" "Don't you forget, baby, I've been there since the beginning," "I know who you are." "Now you might've been fooling them, but you ain't fooling me." "I know who you are and I know what you done." "So you'rejust gonna help Mama out and we're gonna forget all about this, right?" "How are you doing this?" "Is this a joke?" "You're an actor." "This a joke?" "You're David Carranza from... from the show." "Just stop and you tell me exactly who you are!" "Okay, this isn't funny!" "Enough!" "Stop!" "Tell me who you are!" "You play a thief, a cargo thief on TV named Alex." "You go on heists," "Bama, Gaudy, Tommy..." "Tommy's about to get arrested because he made a deal with an undercover agent." "Your character's from Guatemala." "Don't..." "What do you want?" "I watch your show every week." "So I text her back, tell her I'm going to stop by while she's bartending to have a drink." "She says, "that's cool," and then I go there and she's not there, then I call her and she doesn't pick up." "What?" "Don't turn, keep going." "What?" "Keep going, don't turn!" "Okay... okay!" "Don't accelerate." "Shit!" "Be cool," "Shit." "This is not good." "Fuck, Tommy!" "How'd that happen, someone rolled on him?" "I would have just pulled right up there." "Funny how you asked me to stop, right?" "You got that sixth sense." "TV:" "What draws you..." "fuels you... consumes you?" "There are places in this world we simply have to go." "Can you hear me?" "How did you know?" "Know what?" "You need to tell me everything that you know." "Your show's been on four seasons." "Cops..." "Cops and robbers show, it started when you got out of prison." "You, uh, you're the loner of the group, been trying to get out of the cartel, but have a debt, since you were a kid." "Your parents were murdered during a Civil War." "You were on the streets, the cartels took you in." "You ran drugs, they made you fight." "They brought you across the border." "Who are you?" "Who do you think I am?" "Tell me!" "No, you tell me." "You think I'm someone on a show?" "Who?" "Tiffany Mualem." "An actor?" "What happens?" "I'm not doing this!" "Hey, you want to figure this out, you gotta communicate!" "What do you know?" "You're a paramedic." "Anyone could know that." "You're independent... tough..." "your character grew up rough." "A lot of people grow up rough." "You sing, when you're alone." "And you kiss a pendant every day before you go to work, like it's a rosary." "You're ashamed of your past when you were younger." "No one knows." "I don't understand this, what's happening?" "What's your number?" "What?" "Your number..." "Uhh, 30-490-9172." "172?" "172." "(ringing)" "(chiming)" "(ringing)" "(chiming)" "What the fuck?" "Where are you right now?" "What?" "Where do you live?" "Why would I tell you that?" "You want to figure this out, we need to communicate." "Los Perditus." "What's your address?" "1246 Franklin." "Apartment?" "What are you doing?" "Apartment?" "303." "Stay there, don't go anywhere, I'm coming to you." "TV:" "Come visit us!" "Planet Honda, Planet Hyundai!" "Fair, fast..." "Ah, shit." "What are you doing, Samantha?" "(humming)" "(knocking)" "Yeah..." "This Sam's place?" "Sam?" "Tiffany?" "Tiffany, no." "You got the wrong place." "Hey... hey!" "Hey man, I'm not afraid to call a cop, I will call a cop." "I look bad, but I think you look worse." "Tell me the one about the Damn Ham." "I don't want to talk to you about that..." "Come on, I'm dying here." "So there's this really religious woman and she goes to the deli to buy dinner for her family and she sees this butcher and asks him, "what's that?"" "The butcher says, "that there, ma'am, that's Damn Ham."" "And the woman gets offended, she says, "I'm a very religious"" "woman, can you please watch your language?"" "And the butcher says, "no, no, no, they call it Damn Ham"" "because it's fish they caught at the Dam."" "And the woman says, "Okay, I see, I see, well, it looks wonderful."" "So she goes home and starts to cook dinner for her family and her husband asks, "Honey, what are we having for dinner?"" "And she says, "Well, we're having Damn Ham."" "And he says, "Honey!"" "You know we don't use that language in this house."" "She says, "No, no, no, no, they call it Damn Ham because"" "it's fish they caught at the Dam."" "He says, "Oh, I see, well, it smells delicious."" "So they sit down at the table with their two beautiful children and the husband asks the wife," ""Can you please pass some of that Damn Ham?"" "And the little boy's ears light up, he can't believe what he's hearing." "The kid says, "Whoa dad, right on."" "Hey mom, why don't you pass those fucking potatoes?"" "(laughing)" "Whoa, whoa, easy there!" "Fucking potatoes..." "that's good stuff." "Are you scared?" "Sure, but it's not in my hands, is it?" "You are the bravest man I've ever met." "And I want to say thank you for being in my life." "I know what you've done for me..." "I know." "And, I want to tell you that I love you." "There's a light shining on you, son." "I know you're angry for all that you've been given, for all the things you've had to do, I know you're scared," "but we're tested so that we can look through the eyes of God and see in ourselves what he sees." "Let it go, son." "Get out of that darkness." "Any negative side effects?" "No." "Samantha, have you been taking your anti-depressant?" "Yeah." "I need you to follow your prescription." "I can't treat you properly otherwise." "No, I've..." "I've been taking them." "They're really helpful." "Last time we talked, you'd been experiencing some unusual things." "Have you had any more experiences?" "Hallucinations?" "No, I'm feeling much better." "I'm feeling much, much better." "Where you been?" "Around." "I hear you think your place got tapped?" "No." "So you ain't talked to anyone?" "That's strange 'cause Tommy and half the crew got popped." "You know anything about that?" "No, you?" "Tommy's not gonna talk so the Dominican job still goes, and I'm the fucking lead, you hear me?" "You fuck us, and I promise you there's no place you'll be safe." "You're going to do exactly what the fuck I want you to do." "Their route's every three weeks across the border, landing about ten miles that way." "Two rigs moving construction gear for a legit company called Actrom Construction, but it's not in the freight." "Both tractors have Easter Eggs, 15 to 30 bricks of coke per truck." "They always have four to six men, drivers and triggermen." "The way I see it, it goes down right there." "Quick stop, block, and we go, two, two, and two." "What kind of heat do the triggermen use?" "Hey, what are you doing?" "Nothing, just checking up on some email." "Have you had to call the police on any fictional characters recently?" "Oh, here's a thing..." "When are you going to come out with me again?" "When you realize you're 30 and living at your mom's." "First of all, 30 is the new 20, so..." "TV:" "The series finale of "Thieves and Saints"" "is just five days away!" "Will Alex make it out alive?" "I bet they kill him off." "What?" "It's a dark show." "They are not going to give the audience a happy ending, that is for sure." "RADIO: ...at I-25 and Sierra, multiple..." "Copy that unit 72, we are en route." "Alex..." "I went and you weren't there." "No, I waited, you never showed." "How long has..." "How long has my show been on?" "Three years." "Makes you feel naked, you know?" "I must be in love with you." "And my mind has created this elaborate delusion around that..." "I'm so alone and pathetic, I just willed this to happen." "You don't know me." "We need to meet." "Alex, I don't think" "I know, but if we start at like a common place and take it from there, then we can break it down." "But it doesn't make sense." "Either we're crazy or something much bigger is happening." "Nothing is a miracle." "Not if you look close enough, nothing." "Meet me at the Millennium Bridge." "Alex!" "I can be there in ten minutes." "Look, I have to tell you..." "Something's going to go wrong on your show with your nextjob." "Just meet me at the bridge." "(humming)" "Alex?" "Samantha?" "Wow, uhh..." "What are you doing here?" "Como Estas?" "I'm just here with my kids, they're getting ice cream." "Are you waiting for someone?" "Just getting out." "Are you meeting someone?" "No, no, just getting some fresh air." "Aah." "It's unfortunate what happened with Tommy." "You haven't heard?" "Someone got to him on the inside, cut his throat." "There's nothing like the bustling city to make you feel small, huh?" "It's too bad, he was a good man." "You're a good man too, Alex, I hope you don't let us down out there, it would be a shame." "It was nice seeing you," "I wish you a pleasant rest of your evening." "Thank you." "You're gonna need this." "Your phone." "(ringing)" "It's okay..." "It's okay, mi amor." "TV:" "Will Alex make it out alive?" "Alex." "You said I shouldn't do this job something was going to happen, you mean the cops?" "No." "Then what?" "Your show is ending." "What?" "I know it's crazy, but what I see here, it's going to end." "You think I'm just going to disappear or something?" "I honestly..." "I don't know, okay?" "But something is going to go wrong." "How do you know?" "I saw a preview." "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Please believe me." "They kill you off, I don't know..." "Who, the Dominicans?" "The... the writer, or producer..." "This is not a show, nobody has written me!" "But what if it is?" "And someone has control whether you live or die?" "You mean God?" "Fucking bullshit!" "How do you know?" "How can you be so sure..." "Fuck you!" "Because only reality is this shitty!" "Because what kind of a cruel fuck would create this?" "For what purpose?" "What did I do?" "What did I do..." "I..." "This is chaos, this is not a story, this is chaos." "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "There's gotta be something better to watch on TV than me." "I don't remember things." "What things?" "When I was younger, you know?" "Like your family?" "You see that there?" "Yeah." "You have a nice voice..." "when you sing." "I don't think this is chaos." "I know pain can be unbearable sometimes and I don't know why, but I think you either have to believe everything is chaos or everything is a miracle." "This doesn't feel like chaos to me." "So I'm going to be your guardian angel here and tell you, please, just run." "I've seen enough to know." "I just want to be free." "Will you stay with me here, as long as it... as long as it holds?" "Okay." "Los Perditus, Double Edge Films." "(ringing)" "Double Edge Films, how can I direct your call?" "Uh, I just need to speak to someone about." ""Thieves and Saints," the show." "How can I direct your call, ma'am?" "Just the writer's office, please." "Please hold." "Hello?" "(Echoing)" "Hello, is anyone there?" "(Echoing)" "Can you hear me?" "(Echoing)" "Cell phones, right?" "You need to get new service." "It's the trees." "RADIO:" "Two for two, two for two." "(horn honking)" "RADIO: 1,000 yards." "500... 250..." "Now!" "(tires squealing)" "Get out of the truck!" "Got out of the fucking truck, right fucking now!" "Get the fuck out of the truck!" "(gunshots)" "Open the fucking door!" "Get the fuck down!" "Out of the truck!" "Down on yourfucking knees!" "Do not fucking move!" "Fuck!" "What the fuck was that?" "Give me a flathead." "Got it!" "Get out of there, Alex." "Hey!" "Here we go!" "It's you." "Hey there..." "Morning." "Having trouble?" "Yeah, everything's fine, we just had a support latch break on one of our trailers so we have to swap out some of our load." "Well, that's a hassle." "Where you headed on this road?" "Well, we were trying to get to Salida by eight, but I don't think that's going to happen." "We just pulled off here." "We're going fishing!" "Are you?" "What are you guys baiting today?" "Well, it's going to be their first time out on the lake, my guess is we'll see some blue gill." "Hoping to catch a muskie if the day goes good." "Well, I am jealous for you kids." "Yeah, I haven't been out in a while and I can tell you nothing sounds better than a day on the water." "No!" "(woman screaming)" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Don't you do it!" "Whoa..." "Chill, Alex!" "Fucking chill, Alex!" "Draw down." "Don't... please." "Draw down!" "(gunshots)" "No..." "Alex, can you hear me?" "You have to get to the hospital." "Alex, do you hear me?" "I hear you, Sam." "Listen to me, okay, you're going to bleed to death if you don't get to the hospital right now." "They'll find me there." "Maybe you're right, if it's meant to be..." "Damn it, you call an ambulance right now!" "You shouldn't be ashamed to sing." "Alex, please..." "Damn it, no." "Keep pressure on it!" "You have to stay sitting up, don't lie down." "I want you to know, I know..." "But you were just a kid." "You're not your past, you're not that." "You're beautiful." "Alex, please..." "Okay..." "Okay..." "Will you hum a melody with me?" "It goes like this... (humming)" "Alex..." "No Alex, stay awake please..." "Alex, don't, no... stay awake." "Please don't leave me." "Alex..." "Sam!" "I'm so glad I found you." "I've been trying to contact you all morning." "What are you doing here?" "Your mother is in the hospital, she's had an accident." "What?" "I've been trying to find you, Sam." "Who are you?" "Sam, are you feeling okay?" "She's dying, Sam." "She's been asking for you." "Sam!" "How are you this morning?" "Good." "Oh, can I help you?" "How are you this morning?" "Oh, can I help you?" "How are you this morning?" "Is anyone here?" "Do you have an appointment?" "No..." "Oh, can I help you?" "(gasping)" "The bleeding stops." "(typewriter clicking)" "Oh shit!" "Shit..." "I need you to be calm now, Sam." "We're all here to help you." "You've been experiencing severe psychotic episodes, we need to get you to a safe place." "I need you to hand me those papers, Sam." "Can you do that for me?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, ma'am, I'm going to need you to stop." "We're going to get you some proper help." "Sam, come on!" "Open the door!" "Open the door, Sam!" "Open the door!" "Stop!" "(humming)" "No." "And so..." "All that was left was the man and the devil... trapped in the writer's creation." "It was then the man realized, he was no man, but a thing... written... by a malevolent God." "The only choice that could truly be his own would be to take his own life." "But the devil was no puppet and the writerwould not write him and if the writer would trap him in this house, the devil would tear the house down!" "What's shakin', Francois?" "Blub, blub, blub... blub." "Noodles, you make my life amazing..." "Broccoli!" "Okay..." "I need you to be calm now, Sam, we're all here to help you." "I need you to hand me those papers, Sam." "Can you do that for me?" "(typewriter clicking)" "Stop!" "I know you're there!" "Say something!" "You let me out..." "You don't control me." "Let me out!" "There are food banks, Ma." "Baby please, I just need a little money to get by..." "I can't..." "I can let you use my phone if you want to try and call someone." "Honey, what's your name?" "Julia." "Julia?" "Okay Julia, I know you're scared, but I need you to," "I need you to be a hero." "Julia?" "Julia..." "Can you be my hero?" "(glass breaking)" "Let me out!" "Fuck you!" "(gunshot)" "You left me there!" "You left me!" "You fucking left me there..." "You..." "Fucking..." "Fucking left me!" "(gunshot)" "You fucking left me there." "You left me... you left me." "You fucking left me there." "You left me..." "(gunshot)" "Are you scared?" "Sure, but it's not in my hands, is it?" "There's a light shining on you, son." "I know you're angry for all that you've been given, for all the things you've had to do." "I..." "I know you're scared... but we're tested so that we can look through the eyes of God and see in ourselves what he sees."