"(Thunderclap )" "(Thunderclap )" "(Man ) Do you wish to remain a housekeeper forever?" "(Woman ) No." "Then why won't you give me an answer?" "(Woman ) Just a little longer." "I need to be sure." "How long, Mary?" "Until summer, I suppose?" "Until summer." "Then you'll say autumn, then Christmas." "I have been patient." "What more must I do?" "I treat Thomas like my own son." "You've been kind." "I'm not ungrateful." " I'm just not ready." " When will you be ready?" "(Thunderclap )" "Mary, he's dead - gone." "One day you'll have to accept that." "You have to think of the future." "Thomas needs a father." "I will press you no further for the moment." "But if you keep this..." "Well..." "I will take it to mean "yes"." "(Horse whinnies )" "(Horse whinnies )" "Shh, shh..." "It's all right." "It's only the wind." "Shh." "I'm home now." "Let it all go away." "(Horse whinnies excitedly)" "(Sailor) ABANDON SHIP!" "SHE'S GOING DOWN!" "Mary!" "Mary!" "Never give up hope, that's my motto." "Always has been, always will be." "You remember that winter's morning?" "We thought we'd never find anything." "When suddenly, out of the blue, we find a treasure!" "We found one boot with an 'ole in it." "Yeah, but this morning we might find the matching boot!" "It was five years ago, Dad." "I don't know." "You haven't got scrap in your heart, that's your...trouble." " What's that, then?" " I don't know." "It don't look like a bomb." "Oh, my God!" "Dad!" "Look!" "(Muttering and seagulls)" "(Grunts )" "He's waking up!" "Don't move, giant!" "AAAAAARRGGHH!" "AAAAAARRGGHH!" "Oh!" "Oh, look!" "They're everywhere!" "Lilliputians everywhere!" " Oh!" " You're hurting me!" "Oh!" "Oh, forgive me." "I'm so sorry." "You're frightened of me, of course you are." "I must appear terrifying to you, so huge, so monstrous." "Don't be frightened." "Look, I'll..." "I'll whisper." "Have you fallen from the heavens?" "You the Man in the Moon?" "I mean, where've you come from?" "I'll tell you what, Dad." "This could be the making of us." "We're going to be rich!" "Oh, no!" "Here comes the army!" "Halt!" "Get away from it!" "It's a trap!" "It's not a man at all, it's a war machine, filled with Big-Enders!" "Any minute they're going to pour out!" " I can assure you, sir..." " Fire at will!" "No, no - please!" "(Gunfire )" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Get away!" "Get...!" "Ow!" "No!" "Don't touch me!" "Don't come too near me, I beg you." "Have you slept here all night?" "I haven't slept at all!" "I was swimming for most of the night." "Put that down!" "Who is this boy?" "This is Tom." "He is your son." "My son?" "I was pregnant when you went away." "How long have I been away?" "They said your ship was lost." "How long have I been gone?" "Nearly nine years." "Food for the giant!" "Make way!" "Food for the giant!" "When will this army burst out of his stomach?" "Be quiet, son!" "What do you know about military strategy, you country oafs?" "We never see food like that." "You tell him to eat seaweed soup!" "One more word and I'll have you flogged." "Forgive his impertinence, sir, please." "Greetings, brother!" "I fear the worst." "The Big-Enders must have sent him." "He's state property." "We found him!" "He's salvage!" "You're under arrest for treason!" " You can't do that!" " Not to us!" "I'll summon the entire fleet." "We must notify the Emperor." "I was so hungry but it took hours and hours to eat anything at all." "I had to swallow about a dozen loaves just to get one mouthful." "I ate cows and pigs and chickens completely whole, bones and all." "I had to drain at least eleven barrels of wine before my thirst was satisfied." "I don't understand - why was the food so tiny?" "Because of the Lilliputians." "Yes, that's right!" "There were hundreds of them." "They were dragging tiny timbers and tree trunks towards me." "They must have cleared a whole forest." "I heard banging and sawing and I realised they were building this massive wooden frame." "Then horses arrived - ten, twenty, thirty - there must have been a hundred." "They were using them to drag me." "Lemuel, you're not making any sense." "Well, maybe it was the wine, but suddenly, I started to feel... very strange." "They're pulling me!" "They're pulling me along!" "Why...?" "Go and find Joshua - anybody - quickly." "Take him into the surgery - quickly." " Why have you tied me up?" " Nobody's tied you up, Lemuel." "Mind his head." "Where did you find him?" "He slept in the stable." "Tom found him." "Over there." "Quickly, now." "The procession halted outside the Emperor's palace." "Why have we stopped?" "Make way, make way!" "Let all bow before Golbasto Momaren Evlame" "Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, Delight and Terror of the Universe, whose dominions extend 5,000 blustrugs, whose feet press down to the centre, and whose head strikes against the sun, the most mighty Emperor of Lilliput." "Well, you weren't exaggerating!" "He's a whopper!" "He's under constant guard, Father." "He's dead if he makes a move." "Does he talk?" "He has a limited vocabulary, Father." "How does one address him?" "Man Mountain is the usual term, Your Majesty." "(Shut up!" ")" "Good evening, Man Mountain!" "Good evening, Your Excellency!" "Splendid!" "Who are these two?" "Caught trying to steal the giant." "That's a lie!" "We found him!" "He belongs to us!" "No, no, no." "You see, we don't want him." "We were going to donate him to the war effort." "Traitors, are they?" "Hmmm..." "Let's feed them to the giant!" "An excellent test of his ferocity!" "Don't eat me and I'll be your friend for life!" "I'll see you're all right!" "Partners, you and me - what do you say?" "(Munching)" "My son!" "My son!" "The giant has shown mercy." "How marvellous." "We, however, will not." "Have them both disembowelled at dawn." "(Roars )" "(Roars )" "Well, I don't think that's wise, Your Majesty." "He can't have slept for days." "Certainly his mind is extremely disturbed." "It's so wonderful." "I..." "I'd given up all hope." "Had you?" " I didn't mean..." " No, of course not." "It's a miracle that he has returned to us." "Now we must let him rest." "We gave him enough to feed a regiment for a week - now he's hungry again." "I have a projection from my Treasury, based on the multiplication of his body weight." "He is going to consume the rations of 1,728 of your subjects every day." "Every day?" "!" "We can't have that." "Let's kill him." "No, no, no." "The decomposing corpse!" "It could cause a serious plague." "If we continue feeding him, we'll have a famine." "Is he secure?" "Absolutely, Majesty." "Army matter." "Until he decides to escape." "Your Majesty." "Man Mountain!" "Where's my dearest wife?" "Er..." "She's a little nervous of meeting our new arrival, Majesty." "Sweetmeat?" "!" "Please come out and have a look!" "How are you today, my chick?" "Pale, my husband." "Pale and fearful." "Oh, how brutish he looks." "Ask him to descend." "Down 'ere!" "Gently now!" "To me..." "Whoa!" "He's staring at me!" "He has a horrible leering expression." "Oh, really!" "He's in chains!" "He might bite." "On the contrary, Empress, I should like to kiss your beautiful hand." "How charming!" " No!" " Yes!" "Bring towels and a bucket!" "I think his lips were a bit wet!" "Please forgive me, Your Majesty." "(Screams of horror)" "Where does he sleep?" "Well, nowhere, Your Majesty." "We're organising a bed." "600 beds, to be precise." "I have the figures here - 144 blankets, 322 sheets..." "Thank you, Your Majesty." "(Bates ) Majesty?" "What majesty?" "Lower your voice." "If you speak loudly, they'll be frightened." "Get up, man!" "Get up off the floor!" "I asked him to release me." " Asked who?" " The Emperor." "Dr Gulliver, I must insist..." "He had a great desire for me to see the magnificence of his palace." "I trod very carefully for fear of harming any stragglers." "I wore only my waistcoat so I did no damage to the roofs with my coat." "The palace was a magnificent construction, standing 60 feet high to the Lilliputians." "'In the courtyard, I observed the splendour of the Royal Household." "'The Empress herself was in attendance and pleased to smile graciously upon me.'" "Get away from me, you horrible monster!" "Shoo!" "Shoo!" "Well, he lives in a big crater on the moon, eating mostly fruit and...cheese." "He's a fascinating chap, with many wondrous stories to tell." "I'm the only one he'll confide in, of course." "You will not believe this - I have got my own bedroom... with pillows." "Have you got pillows in your room?" "And a bell to ring, should I want anything in the night." "'Course the trouble is I, er..." "I can't sleep in the bed, because my feet are too dirty." "En garde!" "(Pikestaff falls to floor)" "Allow me, Your Majesty." "What a wonderful room!" "What is this place?" "This is the Chamber of War, from which the Emperor directs his campaign against the evil empire that confronts us." "(Applause )" "At first, we thought you a weapon of the Big-Enders, our sworn enemy!" "Forgive my ignorance, Excellency, but who are Big-Enders?" " Why are they your sworn enemy?" " Well, because, er..." " Boys, explain." " Er, yes, of course." "Er... it's very simple." "We're Little-Enders and the enemy are Big-Enders." "But what does Big-Enders or Little-Enders mean?" "There's a subversive tone to his questioning." "I agree." "Are you an agitator?" "Certainly not." "Easy to say." "The Lilliputians competed for public office in a most strange manner." "Promotion was not given for bravery or service to the state, but for skill at the noble art of "creeping and leaping"." "(Fanfare )" " What are you looking at?" " Shh!" "The Emperor is demanding my presence." "'This ceremony was presided over by the Emperor in his throne room." "'The candidates undertake a trial of dexterity such as I have not seen 'in any other country of the Old or New World." "'The Emperor holds a stick, both ends parallel to the horizon, 'while the candidates sometimes leap over the stick 'and sometimes creep under it as the stick is raised or lowered." "'Whoever shows the greatest skill at leaping and creeping 'is rewarded with the highest office.'" "Come on, my son." "Ah, yes, my son!" "Bravo!" "Somebody bring him a sash." "We'll make him... oh..." "Has the old Chancellor been executed yet?" "(Distant gunfire )" "The last member of the old Cabinet, Your Majesty." "Oh, good - we'll make this chap the new Lord Chancellor." " (Thomas ) Was he really executed?" " Who?" "The old Lord Chancellor." "Most people were." "I found you some clothes." "Who is that man?" "What is he doing in our house?" "It isn't our house any more." "Doctor Bates has paid for much of Tom's upkeep." "But now he owns the house." "He runs your old practice and I am his housekeeper." "Mary?" "Excuse me." "I want you downstairs for your supper." "Don't be frightened of me." "Come along." "I don't want to seem indelicate, but where is he going to stay?" " I thought he'd stay here." " For a while, but what will he do?" "I am the doctor now, there's no work and he is - forgive me - suffering from some form of mania." "He is exhausted and..." "and clearly troubled..." "I accept his behaviour is strange..." "Mary." "It is a joyous thing that he has returned and we must give thanks for it." " Where are you going?" " I..." "I cannot sleep here." "Lemuel, I understand." "We are like strangers, meeting again for the first time." "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "Don't touch me." "I can't bear you too near me!" "Please, you'll wake Tom." "You cannot understand where I've been." "Tell me what's wrong." "Help me to understand." "Please." "You're frightening me." "I will sleep in Tom's room, if you wish." "I am used to it." "Mary, please believe me, I want to come home, but I cannot." "I cannot!" "I CANNOT!" "The Emperor mounted the most impressive military parade ever, with all the imperial troops passing between my legs." "Sightseers came from all over Lilliput." "Women and children, farmers and teachers, lawyers and midwives, all lining the street to gape and stare." "There had been other military parades before, but none with..." "Well, with me." "(Imitates fanfare )" "The money is rolling in." "We can approve unprecedented military expansion." "What if he falls on us?" "Darling, no harm can befall you." "I've organised every last detail." "I understand his trousers are ragged on account of the shipwreck and I must warn Your Ladyship that under no circumstances should you look upward as we drive underneath him." "Here we go, everybody!" "(Senior Scavenger) Blimey!" "Unbelievable!" "Oh...!" "Colossus!" "I want you to stop this, now." " Stop what?" " All this!" "All these stories!" "Just be normal again!" "I'm telling him what happened." "Well, I don't want you to!" "Is it your wish for me to lose my position and my home?" "That's what will happen if you persist in this nonsense!" "This is intolerable!" "How can I concentrate while he's charging about like an idiot?" "Get rid of that monster!" "My darling walnut, do you know how much money his parade raised for the war effort today?" "(Bates ) He is very ill, Mary." "I have to say that I am worried for the child." "The ideas that he's putting into his head are not proper - or Christian." "But what can we do?" "I'll take him to a hospital where they help people who are sick like this." " He'll never agree." " Leave that to me." "This has just arrived, Admiral." "Bad news?" "The Big-Enders have built a new war fleet!" "I knew it!" "We must move our troops..." "Father, give nothing away." " Big-Ender spies are everywhere." " Not in my own campaign room?" "Especially here." "The walls have ears." "(Distant gunfire )" "Man's a bloody menace." "How substantial is their fleet?" "Warships with 500 cannons." "But our biggest ships have only 50." "Their warriors would rather die than surrender!" "Ours would rather surrender than die." "What shall we do?" "Have half our farmers build warships." "Increase the army by 600,000 men and construct a 40-foot wall around Lilliput." "We did both those last month!" "We have held back our greatest weapon for long enough." "I was summoned to the Emperor and told the very future of Lilliput depended upon my courage and ingenuity." "A massive invasion fleet stood poised, ready to attack, and only I stood in its way." "I scoured the land for the thickest ropes and cables and bent a number of iron bars into hooks, like this." "Bravo!" "That night, I waded across the channel separating the two empires, and in the last yard, took a great breath and dived underwater." "I made it!" "I made it!" "The sailors screamed in terror when they saw me." "Most of them abandoned ship and jumped overboard." "Lemuel, don't!" "Nothing could stop me." "I started off to Lilliput, dragging the entire fleet behind me." "(Bates ) Put the child to bed." " What's wrong?" " Do as you're told." "(Mary ) But, I..." "Trust my judgement on this." "Do as I request." "Give me your hand, Doctor." "(Fanfare and cheering)" "'My glorious victory was the cause of much rejoicing throughout the land.'" "'Thousands rushed to meet me 'and there was a great cheer of relief and celebration!" "'" "Marvellous!" "Marvellous!" "The end of the war!" "Peace and prosperity!" "Ha-ha-ha!" "For doing what our greatest Generals and Admirals could not, you are awarded our greatest honour!" "Pageboy!" "What is our greatest honour?" "The Order of Nardac, Majesty." "The Nardac?" "!" "But, Father, General Limtoc and I are only Clumglums!" "How will it look to our men if he has a higher honour?" "Father, a word." "I fear the job is worse than half done." "I agree." "He brought home the enemy's ships, but could he bring home the enemy themselves?" "The monster must prove his loyalty by killing all Big-Enders - every last man, woman and child." "I think you should return and destroy what remains of the enemy." "There's no need to crush them completely, Your Majesty." "I'm sure they will make a dignified surrender." "My husband gave you an order!" "With respect, we've won the war, there is no more threat." "We've won!" "(Cheering)" "We need to talk." "Mmm." "That night, I must confess, I got very drunk." "I had been told that I emptied the royal cellars of everything save twelve barrels of sweet cider." "I dunno, I'm working harder now than I ever did." " Let me fill your glass." " Thank you, it's full." "The thing was, they'd been fighting this ridiculous war for generations and none of them had the slightest clue what they were fighting about." "I know." "They'd been at war for years and not a single Lilliputian knew why." "No, no, I mean I know how the war started." "You know?" "I know what my grandmother told me." "When the Emperor's great-great grandfather were a little boy, he were eating a egg for his breakfast one day." "When, breaking it off at the larger end, he cut one of his fingers." "His father the Emperor - that's the 23rd Emperor, that is - he published a law commanding everybody to break their eggs off at the smaller end." "Ha!" "Some Lilliputians said "We are going to break our eggs at the big end."" ""Just you try to stop us!" which is exactly what the Emperor did." "Eventually, the rebels fled across the water to Blefescu and thus began the great and terrible war." "We have had 11,000 people suffer death, rather than submit to breaking their eggs at the smaller end." "Do you smell burning?" "(Cries of panic)" "THE EMPRESS IS TRAPPED!" "SAVE MY BELOVED!" "'A firework had set light to the palace 'and Her Imperial Majesty's apartments were ablaze." "'The Lilliputians had already applied their ladders to the palace walls 'and were well provided with buckets but the water was at some distance." "'Anyway, the ladders were not tall enough." "'So it seemed wholly desperate." "'The palace would have been burned to the ground and the Empress with it, 'if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not suddenly had an idea." "'I was still full from my drinking session, 'and, looking down on the royal bedchamber, 'only one course of action seemedopen to me.'" "(Hissing)" "Ah!" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "You have saved my life!" "Ahem..." "Oh, thank you." "AAAAAAGGGHHH!" "It's an outrage!" "He made water in the royal grounds!" " It's treason!" " But he saved the Empress's life." "Our stepmother will never be able to show her face again, convinced that she's the laughing stock of Lilliput." "But she's not, though... is she?" "(Sniggers )" "And he openly defied your command to attack the Big-Enders." " He humiliated you!" " You're right!" "You're right!" "We must execute him." "Execute him?" "!" "You can't do that!" "Well, I mean, we must consider all the options." "Are you with us, Lord Chancellor, or with the monster?" "We'll spread poison on his shirt which will make him tear his own flesh apart." "Then I'll get a thousand men to fire poisoned arrows in his face." "Good plans, boys, but I don't think we should actually murder him." "You were so keen to kill Mother last year, and I miss her dreadfully." "You're both too impulsive." "But I agree, something must be done." "Something merciful." "We'll dig out both his eyes." "Oh, I don't know." "Just the eyes?" "It doesn't seem very much to me." "When he's blinded, he'll be much more obedient, and even more courageous, because he won't see any danger!" "That way..." "Are we all here?" "Where's the new Chancellor gone?" "Wake up!" "Wake up!" "The Generals are plotting to kill you!" "You must escape!" "I'm a war hero, I just saved the Empress's life." "Don't go to sleep!" "I can't stay here!" "They'll kill me, too, if they find out." "WAKE UP!" "Oh...!" "'I had escaped, but to where?" "'Where could I go?" "Would I just swim out to sea until I drowned?" "'" "(Whistles )" "'With Clustril's help, I hid from the Emperor's soldiers." "'That night I pulled up hundreds of trees to make a small raft, 'while Drunlo collected every bed sheet for miles around, 'and I began to sew them together to make a sail.'" "Thank you for saving my life." "Sorry if..." "Don't you talk to me." "I had it all in the palm of my hand - wealth, power, respect..." "Look at me now, eh?" "Back to seaweed soup." "I'd like to leave you a gift." "My ring." "Oh, marvellous(!" ")" "What do I want your ring for, eh?" "I can't wear it, can I?" "It's..." "It's..." "It's gold." "I'm rich!" "You always treated me good, you was always my friend." "I'm rich!" "Dad, I'm rich!" "Never mind that, son." "Never mind that." "I think I've found the other boot!" "This isn't right." "It's done now." "I feel as if I've betrayed him." "You know it's the right thing to do." "The doctors at the hospital are very caring people." "Drive!" "'For seven days and nights I sailed without sighting land." "'My supplies had run desperately low and I was losing all hope." "'I was forced to eat my carefully gathered supplies, 'until only one sheep remained.'" "Land!" "'Land!" "No matter if it was more tiny people, at least it was land!" "'" "Where are we?" "Don't worry." "I'm taking you somewhere you'll be safe." "(Rumbling)" "If I could have your signature here, Dr Bates." "I think we can leave the rest of the formalities till tomorrow." "GIANTS!" "GIANTS!" "NO-O-O-O-O-O!" "Really, is this behaviour absolutely necessary?" "Mother Earth!" "It's an omen!" "It's an omen!" "Have you found something, Grultrud?" "Nothing." "Back to work." " Perhaps he's a hobgoblin." " He's nothing of the kind." "He's a sign from Mother Earth, to show we'll have a fine harvest." "I'm going to give him some meat." "'Giants." "'And so ugly!" "'Their skin was so crinkled and pocked and boil-infested, 'it made me wonder how I appeared to the Lilliputians.'" "(Barking)" "It's just a little dog." "Don't be a coward." "Down!" "Let me out of here!" "There's been some terrible mistake." "Oi!" "You in there!" "Keep quiet!" "(Girl) Come and stand by me." "This is my daughter, Glumdalclitch." "He's lovely." "Who's going to take care of him, I wonder?" "Can I?" "Can I have him to keep?" "He's a grand little fellow." "He can do tricks as well, I expect." "Do us a dance." "(Laughs )" "We could make a lot of money with this little fella." "What is this place?" "A hospital." "Since when do hospitals have bolted doors?" "It's a hospital for people with sick minds." "Well, there's nothing wrong with me." "That is for us to ascertain." "I don't like this box." "Where are you taking me?" "What are you talking about?" "Come and see the Wee Wonder - the Spirit of the Cornfield." "Come and see him." "The Wee Wonder." "Spirit of the Cornfield." "'Brob-ding-nag'?" "Yes." "And what part of the world is this Brobdingnag in?" "I don't know, I was completely lost." "And this little girl was carrying you?" "In the travelling box that they'd made me." "You have to imagine yourself as only as tall as my hand." "If you were to lie on the floor." "I'm not trying to make a fool of you." "See how different the world looks?" "Well, imagine everything you know is now huge... monstrous." "Hush!" "If we make too much noise, the sprite may not come out." "He's a timid little fella." "Mind that none of you look him direct into the eye - he might curse you." "Who summons the Spirit of the Cornfield?" "Oh, I do." "I need your wisdom, O Spirit!" "Show me gold and thou shall be told!" "It's..." "It's my radishes, O Spirit of the Cornfield!" "(Coughs )" "O Spirit, we beseech you to rid these vegetables of their cursed affliction." "And then I'd pretend to go into this - this fit, like this, you see." "# London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down" "# London Bridge is falling down" "# My fair lady!" "#" "The Spirit has spoken!" "Your radishes will be the plumpest in the entire country." "Next!" "(Thunder and lightning effects )" "And you believed you were possessed by this spirit?" "No, of course not!" "We were just doing it to make money." "Why didn't you try to escape?" "I was helpless." "My destiny was out of my hands." "(Keys jangle )" "That's all for tonight." "He'll perform again at daybreak." "I am the Queen's lady-in-waiting." "I don't care, I am off to sleep." "I was wondering if the little gentleman might be for sale?" "My little magician?" "No." "I am authorised to offer you a considerable sum." "No amount of money is going to part the two of us." "I have here 500 pieces of gold." "Do you want to take him tonight?" "I begged the farmer not to part me from Glumdalclitch, the only person who really cared for me." "He agreed, happy to see his daughter brought up in the royal household." "We travelled with the lady for several hours, until we reached the palace." "Beware ye all, large or small!" "Once in a lifetime a man will appear, smaller than all others, and he will be a lucky charm, a talisman for crops, bringing strong sunshine and sweet rain for the harvest!" "Such a man is - me!" "(Applause )" "Am I or not the smallest person in the kingdom?" "Can any man look up to me?" "I'm a shrimp, a worm, an ant, a tadpole, a grub." "Am I short?" "I'm minuscule." "I'm dinky, dainty, diminutive, I'm titchy, tiny, I'm so small..." "Your Majesty." "(Gasps of astonishment)" "(Applause )" "'Royalty at last!" "'No more riding on a donkey cart." "Here was the Queen.'" "I threw myself at her feet, the only part of her I could reach, and I kissed her toe and addressed her in the normal manner..." "Most Glorious Empress, O Adornment of Nature, the Darling of the World," "Delight of your subjects, the Phoenix of Creation." "And this queen, she was also a giant?" "They were all giants!" "Even the dwarf was a giant!" "(Gasps of astonishment)" "Well, Grildrig, it seems you are no longer the smallest man in the kingdom." "Look, Your Majesty..." "Yes, yes, later, Grildrig." "We have a new jester!" "Her Majesty and I chatted for a while, and she was impressed with such wit and good sense in so diminutive a person." "For the first time since arriving in this awful place," "I felt amongst equals, and knew from now on I would be treated with respect." "He's a monstrosity!" "No, he is a midget, albeit a uniquely small one." "You're both wrong - he's a clockwork toy." "I've no doubt we can find the hole in his back if we look carefully enough." "Take your hands off me!" "There's been some terrible mistake." "There's nothing wrong with me." "Let me leave, please." "His eyes are constantly moving and he sweats extremely." "Why don't you like being touched?" "I just don't." "I don't need a reason." "He's very restless, his mood changes all the time and his speech is eccentric - full of fantasy." "From the teeth, I'd say he's a carnivore." "Even tiny animals like fieldmice could overpower him." "He lacks the claws for climbing and digging." "Perhaps we should try mating him with a small animal." "Perhaps we should not!" "This is outrageous!" "Gentlemen, please listen to me." "I come from a civilised country which abounds with several million people of my own stature, where the houses and trees are in proportion." "I have no trouble feeding myself or protecting myself." "I am a man, just like you." "(Mocking laughter)" "That farmer taught him to say all this!" "You can't keep me here!" "Where's my wife and son?" "You may shout as much as you wish in here." "It is something we expect." "But that, I'm afraid, is where your rights end." "Put her to bed for a day or two if the symptoms persist." "I have no more patients today, Mary." "We can leave, if you're ready." "I won't be gone long." "Why can't I come?" "You can come next time." "Clear all this away before I get home." "I wish I could dissuade you from visiting him yet." "Please don't expect any dramatic improvements." "(People chatter and chickens cluck)" "In our country we also have very high taxes." "It keeps people in their place." "We have no taxes." "But everyone is bringing you the fruits of their labour." "They are shared between the whole kingdom fairly." "Amongst the higher classes, you mean?" "(Giggles ) No, we have enough food to feed everybody." "A farmer brings his crop, and takes home some of his neighbour's." "Each takes his share, and no one goes hungry." "But, unless some people are starving, how can there be structure to society?" "What do your Ministers say about this?" "Ministers?" "Each village sends a farmer and we decide what is best for the common good." "The common good?" "Yes." "Grildrig's new job is to feed the rotten produce to the pigs." "Oh, dear, I hope he doesn't bear me any malice." "Grildrig!" "You're not jealous of our new jester, are you?" "Oh, My Lady, nothing could be further from the truth." "Like yourself, I've taken a special shine to the little chap." "I want to see whoever is in charge." "I demand to be let out!" "(Knock at door)" "Enter!" "I've got a surprise for you." " Shall I open it?" " Thank you." "'Dear little Glumdalclitch, she clearly adored me." "'She enjoyed dressing me and undressing me, like a doll, 'even though I could manage for myself.'" "Oh, Glum!" "It's beautiful." " Does this feel like your home now?" " Not really." " My house isn't quite this big." " Will you take me there?" " So I can meet your queen?" " I will." "We'll go to the theatre." "And what will we do before we go?" "Tell me everything we'll do." "Well, first, we'll walk through the park and bow to the ladies and gentlemen." "Dressed in our finest clothes." "The very finest." "And then we will sit and we'll take tea." "Chocolate - can I have chocolate?" "Ah, chocolate, certainly." "A very fashionable choice, Milady." "And I'll buy you presents." "Lots of presents." "A doll's house even bigger than this one." "The children will love it!" "If we're married, we'll have children, won't we?" "Glum, how old are you?" "Eleven, but I'm growing very fast." "I already have a wife, Glum." "Oh." "In..." "In England." "You said it was a hospital - this is more like a prison." "I don't like it any more than you do." "But some of the patients become...disturbed." "It's necessary to keep them securely." "Mary?" "Thank God you're here." "I've got to get out of this place." "You have come to take me home?" "Well, we..." "We thought it best you had a chance to recover first." "Have the doctors seen you yet?" "Yes, but they don't understand." "They know nothing about England so they've no idea of my intelligence." "They don't know about England?" "Well, why should they?" "They've never been there." "That's what I have to do!" "Bates, call the doctors." "I have to tell them everything." "Then they'll stop treating me like a child." "Call them back!" "'I began a massive lecture 'to explain the difference between their simple farming life 'and our complex, sophisticated society." "'I extolled the virtues of our great government, education and arts, 'our courts and their great wisdom." "'I mentioned the valour of our army and navy, 'and our great colonies and conquests.'" "My remarkable lecture lasted five audiences with the Queen - each one lasting several hours." "She was most attentive and requested a sixth audience, no doubt to praise my eloquence and to beg my forgiveness." " I have some questions." " Questions, Your Majesty?" "Questions." "These Ministers who run your country, how do they get to be Ministers?" "Usually a sum of money decides the issue." "How do they gain knowledge of their people?" "They don't need much knowledge - they spend their time drinking and gambling." "You've mentioned gambling." "At what age is this entertainment taken up?" "Sixteen or seventeen." " And at what age is it put down?" " Sixty or, or...seventy." "In your courts, how much time is spent in determining between right and wrong?" "Trials last weeks or months, at great cost to those involved." "Doesn't that mean the poor have no recourse to the law?" "Well, the poor are too busy working to need justice." "Do your lawyers ever plead cases which they know to be wrong?" "Of course!" "That's their job!" "It amuses you to mock our institutions?" "No, I was trying to defend them." "Your taxes raised more than five or six million, yet the state spends double that!" "How can a kingdom spend more than it receives in taxes?" "Well, that's simple." "We just borrow more from ourselves." "Don't try to make fools of us." "But it's the truth!" " And your wars..." " Our wars?" "Why are you always attacking people?" "Why leave your shores, unless to trade?" "Often we must defend ourselves by attacking before we're attacked, thus gaining the element of surprise." "And this 'standing army' of yours - why is it standing?" "In the midst of peace, why do you need such a massive force of weapons and men?" "I..." "I..." "I don't..." "I began to crumble, to lose my way." "I stuttered and hesitated..." "Really, I have heard enough." "But I haven't finished yet." "The whole purpose of..." "I said I've heard enough!" "The history of your country seems to consist of nothing more than a squalid string of conspiracies, rebellions, revolutions murders and massacres." "Every judgement seems to be motivated by greed, by malice, hypocrisy, hatred, envy, lust and madness." "Perhaps I explained badly." "We shall examine you again next month." "In the meantime... (Gulliver) Next month?" "!" "What are you talking about?" "Haven't you heard a word I've said?" "You have proved that ignorance, idleness and vice are the only qualifications for public office, and that your laws are made by those who pervert them." "I can only conclude that your people are the most pernicious race of odious little vermin that ever nature suffered to crawl upon the face of the Earth." "Your Majesty." "Stay with him, Mary." "Let me talk to the doctors and plead for his release." "Don't despair, Lemuel." "A month!" "Don't lose hope!" " Let me talk to you." " I don't belong here." "I'm the laughing stock of the entire country." "I think you're very clever." "We could think of something that would impress the Queen." "Perhaps if I juggle bananas with my feet, that would raise my social standing." "You must know something they don't." "I know hundreds of things they don't!" "They know nothing of music, of politics, of culture, or..." "Gunpowder?" "What is 'gunpowder'?" "Never mind that." "Take this list of ingredients." "Now - mix them in the quantities that I have described there." "The harvest festival was the perfect chance to make a good impression." "People from all over the kingdom would be coming." "A normal explosion would hardly be noticed by these giants, so I multiplied the quantities of gunpowder tenfold." "If we only make this amount, I doubt we shall even see it." "We should increase these figures fivefold." "Tenfold, at least." "And then perhaps we'll have a proper demonstration." "Baaa-aaaa!" "It's a quite extraordinary story." "He insists he was a prisoner in a land of giants." "Really?" "When he told me the story, he was the giant." "And you just found him wandering about the streets?" "The lady brought him to my surgery." "What is the patient's name?" "Just put 'Patient of Doctor Bates'." "Don't you want to see the harvest parade?" "The noise will give me a headache." "Pour for me, will you?" " I wish you wouldn't drink so much." " Thank you for your concern." "And I wish I didn't have to live in this monstrous place!" "Are you nervous about the bunpowder demonstration?" "Gunpowder, not bunpowder!" "And no, I'm not nervous, I'm fine." "Please, Glum, leave me alone." "'Why was I so horrible to her?" "'" "She had shown me only kindness and love." "I was angry that no one would take me seriously." "Still, things would be very different after the demonstration." "Try this." "Hello, shorty." "Grildrig!" "With all the noise, no one could hear me shout." "I ran to the centre of the table." "That won't do you any good." "I've been waiting a long time for this." "As I lay there, bruised, I heard this sound and I looked up and saw Grildrig raise this..." "Where are you?" "No more, please..." "No more?" "No more?" "But the best is yet to come!" " He..." "He..." "He..." " What?" "What?" "!" "He pulled out this tin." "Do you know what your head'll look like when a wasp stings you?" "It'll swell up, bloated with pus, until it's so big it'll just pop!" "Happy harvest day, squirt!" "(Buzzing)" "They were all around me, one over there, two hovering around the food down there." "Lemuel, there's nothing in here!" "Two left!" "Where are they?" "Where are they?" "Please!" "I'm frightened you'll hurt yourself." "Fighting for my life." "Sword against sting." "Parry, thrust, parry, thrust." "Can someone help?" "I was beaten back, right to the edge of the table!" "Oh, Mary!" "It was extraordinary." "You have no idea how I felt." "I was exhausted, but..." "Help us!" "(Crunch)" "I killed them!" "I killed them!" "Mary, please." "He's having a fit." "Don't let them hurt him." "Why won't anyone believe me?" "I can prove I'm not making it up!" "Go back and find my medical bag..." "He doesn't know what he's saying." "Bring me the bag!" "I can prove that everything happened." "Mary, it's the truth!" "I'm afraid it's much worse than we thought." "I know this is hard, but I think your very presence is making his condition worse." "But I have to see him, I can't have got him back only to lose him again." "It's the best thing." "Stop it!" "You can't keep me here!" "I'm not mad!" "I can prove I'm not mad!" "(Murmur of conversation )" " Are you sure you're all right?" " Yes, of course." "I'm fine." "Proceed with the demonstration!" "Now witness the exciting power of this substance, created, I might add, by my 'odious' race and seemingly unknown to even your greatest minds!" "No need to cover your ears, it's just a small flash of light and an explosion the size of a log cracking on the fire." "(Coughing)" "I know what you're thinking." "Back in the cage." "Hurry up, please." "What are you doing in here?" "Nothing." "You know you're not allowed in here!" "It's all right, Mary, let me talk to him." "You're upset." " What were you doing in my study?" " I wasn't doing anything." "I have never taken my strap to you, but don't lie to me, or I will." "You're not my father." "You can't beat me." "Thomas, I don't want to beat you." "I know you were glad to see your father again." "But he's a sick man." "A violent and disturbed man." " Do you know how you can help him?" " No." "By forgetting everything he has told you." "All those silly stories." "All this nonsense." "He came back for a day and now he's gone away again." "We've got to know each other well and like each other, haven't we?" "Yes, we have." "And soon I will be your father." "And, unlike Lemuel, I will care for you properly." "My father cares for me." "If he cared so much for you, why didn't he come home all this time?" "Why did he leave your mother and you alone in poverty?" "'I asked Glumdalclitch to take me to the seaside, 'where I would stare at the ocean for hours 'and think of my home and everything I had lost." "'I prayed for help, but no boat ever came past." "'Never one.'" "You wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to me, would you?" "How can I leave?" "What will I do, flap my arms and fly away?" "I know you're very homesick." "Oh, Glum, some day you'll meet someone your own size and you'll forget all about me." "I won't." "I'll never forget you." "Don't cry." "I'm not." "(Sobbing)" "What were you doing in Doctor Bates' surgery?" "I found the sheep." " What are you talking about?" " The little sheep from Lilliput..." "There are no tiny things or giant things." "They're just stories!" "But I saw it...!" "Go upstairs to your room!" "I'm..." "I'm cold." "Put me back in my box, please." "Glum?" "Be careful!" "Glum!" "You're hurting me!" "Mama!" "Mama!" "I told you to go to your room!" "But, Mama, look - look!" "Go to your room!" "Now!" "Not another word!" "And stay there till I tell you to come down." "'I lost all sense of time as the bird flew on and on." "'In my last moments I thought of my dear Glumdalclitch, 'who would be blamed for my disappearance 'and would lose her place at Court." "'I felt myself falling with such incredible swiftness 'that I almost lost my breath.'" "Did you look in his medical bag like he said?" "Completely empty." "I don't know what to do." "Leave everything to me, Mary." "I'll take care of it all." "'So this was it, then." "My end, finally." "'I tried to keep my spirits high, but I realised I would surely die." "'I had no food or water, my box was sinking." "No boats would pass." "'I resigned myself to my...'" "(Distant roaring)" "Thank you." "It's a relief to see you're the same size as I am." "I'm glad it gives you pleasure." "Forgive my ignorance, but where are we?" "On the Flying Island of Laputa." "I was flying." "Travelling several hundred feet above the ground." "How big was this flying island?" "Huge." "At least half a mile across." "But floating in the air as though it were no heavier than a cloud." "And people lived on it?" "The greatest minds in the universe!" "Conditions were cramped, it was like a warship." "People lived in tiny cabins and came out now and then onto the decks." "Excuse me." "Noble sirs." "These masters are contemplating the universe." " Do you wish to enter a discourse?" " Well, yes." "Permit me, sir." "What's your opinion on the sun's health?" "Well, it seemed fine last time I looked." " What about the spots?" " Spots?" "Volcanoes on the surface are sending out smoke." "The volcanoes become more violent, the spots decay, and..." "Yes." "Forgive my ignorance, but where exactly are we?" "If we're flying towards the sun, we must be travelling west." "You think so?" "What a fascinating theory." "No, I was..." "An interesting man." "You gave them a lot to think about." "Perhaps you wish to rest before the "End of the World" Ball tonight?" "Tom." "Breakfast." "Tom!" "Breakfast!" "You will not leave the table until you eat something." "Do you see the harm he's done?" "Tom." "Tom!" "I'll see to him." "Stop this behaviour towards Dr Bates!" "I will not have this disobedience." "Come and eat your breakfast!" "I won't tell you again." "Look, I know why you're doing this, but it won't achieve anything." "Nothing your father told you is true." "He made it up to amuse you." "He's very ill - that's why he can't come home." "'I can't change that, much as I want to." "'Your silence will not help him.'" "What did they eat?" "Perhaps they grew mushrooms, in the clouds!" "Don't revel in your ignorance." "The intellectuals of Laputa were far too busy having great thoughts to be burdened with farming." "They would travel, collecting Brain Taxes from their subjects." "The island would descend over a village or estate." "Buckets would be lowered to be filled with food and drink." "This is where you'll sleep, sir." "But there appears to be no bed, or table...or anything that..." "We must have you measured for your costume, sir." " Costume?" " For the ball." "'Brilliant intellectuals employed techniques unknown to our tailors." "'Painstakingly they measured the circumference of my ears, 'the distance between my toes, 'the length of my eyelashes and even my shadow." "'Hard to understand, then, the result.'" "Hello." "I hope you're settling in." "I ordered you winched up." "Oh, thank you." "I'm Prince Munodi." "Forgive me, your Highness." "Oh, no, don't bother with that." "Nobody else does." "I'm the most stupid person in Laputa." "I'm sure that can't be true." "It is." "I'm only tolerated because I'm the Rajah's son." "Could I speak with your father?" "I'm trying to find my way home." "He's thinking, in the observatory." "He'll see you later." "I'm performing tonight." "Must dash." "You wouldn't want to see him." "If you try to see him, it will agitate him further." "You say the same thing each day." "He gets worse each day." "More disturbed and violent." "I know." "You believe I'm trying to keep you away from him." "I don't..." "Yes, you do, Mary." "I only did what I thought was best for Lemuel." "When I took him away, I felt guilty." "Had I acted in haste?" "Selfishly?" "Perhaps I am a coward." "If I'd sailed the world, you might have chosen me." "When I see how broken he is," "I wonder if I am not the wiser man, for all my cowardice." "If I cannot see him, I will write to him." "Will you take my letters?" "Of course, Mary." "Of course." "Answer me this." "Do you believe he'll recover?" "Yes." "Yes, of course." "Don't you?" "I wish I could say yes." "The Rajah will see you now." "What?" "Why?" "Ow!" "Thank you." "I can manage." "Thank you, that will not be necessary." "I am a traveller from..." "Excuse me." "Majesty?" "I'm trying to get back to England." "Ing-land?" "You know of it?" "Do you like it?" "England, Majesty?" "It's my home." "No, the music." "The music of the spheres." "I confess I strain to hear anything." "Then we must adapt your ears to hear more clearly." "I am undeserving of such honour." "Indeed." "Forgive yet another interruption, but I need to get home." "Perhaps someone else knows England." "It is small but of great importance." "The Academy knows everything." "Everything worth knowing." " And much more besides." " How will I find it?" "Smashed into smithereens." "In a thousand pieces." "For I have compared the figures of the moon and the zodiac and I can announce that a comet will collide with the sun at three minutes past three." "Good heavens!" "That phenomenon coincides exactly with your arrival." " What is your name?" " Gulliver, Majesty." "We shall name this unspeakable catastrophe "Gulliver's Orb"." "Too kind." "'I have failed you." "I should never have sent you away." "'Please believe how hard it was." "'I only want you to be well again." "'My deepest wish is that you will return and live with us." "'To have you and lose you again is almost unbearable." "'If you refuse to see me, then at least write." "Just a few words." "'I will always love you.'" "'To prepare for the end of the world the Rajah commissioned a symphony." "'I confess I found the music too intellectual for my taste.'" "I thought you were playing in the concert." "I was asked to leave." "My instrument kept playing in tune." "Intellect isn't everything, surely, your Majesty?" "It is here." "Well, at least the world is ending tomorrow." "'The world, about to end!" "'" "I couldn't sleep." "I lay tossing and turning, waiting for oblivion, trying to make peace." "Finally, I fell asleep." "I woke the next morning and rushed to my cabin window." "Clouds still scudded." "Sun still shone." "Birds still flapped." "The world hadn't ended." "(Cheers )" "I wish I shared your excitement." "I rather hoped it would." "'By ingenious movements of a giant magnet, 'the island could be made to rise or fall." "'The only disadvantage to this was that when the lodestone was moved, 'the compasses moved as well, so they had no idea where they were.'" "Where are we flying now?" "The next collecting point is my mother's estate." "When we get there is another matter." "You look apprehensive." "There'll be trouble." "Mother and Father always disagree." "She's down-to-earth." "Father always has his head in the clouds." "They've been apart for a long time." "I had an unhappy childhood." "(Bells ring)" "Excuse me..." "Ah, your Highness." "What's happening?" "My mother is refusing to send up Brain Taxes." "Come on!" "Father..." "If she wants war, she'll get it." "I'll apply my intellect to the task." "She doesn't want war." "She just doesn't want us to take her food." "Not that I know anything." "We'll stay over her land and deprive them of rain until their crops die." "I am a genius." "Isn't there a river running through the royal estate?" "I knew that!" "The Rajah and his intellectuals debated the right course of action, while the island bore down on the Munodi estate." "I wonder what my idiot husband will do now." "I have it." "We must bomb them." "Bomb Mother?" "Bomb your wife?" "BOMBS AWAY!" "Bombs?" "Very well." "Two can play at that game." "She had built a massive magnet tall as a house and mounted on a truck drawn by 12 carthorses." "This was cranked up until it was aimed directly at the island." "Then the horses started to drag the magnet away until..." "Father!" "We're descending too fast!" "And at a very straight angle... not that I know anything." "Do you want the dunce's cap again?" "Shouldn't we just leave, before there's any more trouble?" "Right." "Go to your cabin and read your navigation books." "I think we should have lunch." "Lunch?" "Or perhaps something to nibble." "Your Majesty, the island is falling apart." "Do something!" "I see no reason to rush into action." "Your Highness, what should we do?" "I'm the last one to solve a crisis." "You're not." "What should we do?" "Well, if I wasn't so stupid, I'd try reversing the lodestone." "Brilliant!" "You're a genius." "Am I?" "Reverse the lodestone!" "REVERSE THE LODESTONE!" "The island juddered to a halt for an instant." "Then the two opposing magnets sent it hurtling back up." "We're rising again." "That vindicates my decision not to act in haste." "By waiting, the problem has solved itself!" "Interesting." "(Door creaks )" "How are you feeling today?" "I'm sorry I missed your lecture." "I hear it was spectacular." "How is Mary?" "When is she coming?" "Give her time." "It's been disturbing for her." "Will she not even write?" "I fear not." "In truth, I think she's frightened of what you've become." "I need to see her." "I know she'll understand if I can explain." "I think I can change her mind." "But you must play your part... and accept you are not well enough to receive visitors." "Not today, nor the day after, nor the day after that." "Your recovery will take some considerable time." " Good morning." " Good morning." "Your bag came this morning with a note from my son." "Oh, thank you." "How is he?" "I have to report your son has failed all his examinations." "He's considered a complete idiot." "Good." "There's hope for him yet." "Are you a man of great intelligence?" "I fear not." "Excellent." "Compared to your husband's brain, my intelligence is negligible." "He is an imbecile." "But one of breathtaking intellect." "What use are flowers to intellect?" "If he had his way, there'd be none." "He'd tear them up to measure their mass, circumference and volume." "Why don't you stay?" "I miss the pleasure of unintelligent male company." "If only I could." "But I must try to find the Academy, where I can get directions home." " The Academy?" " You know of it?" "I wish it had never been built." "My husband installed the most brilliant minds in the world there." " Where's the harm in that?" " They've brought ruin on this land." "Everything outside my estate is devastated." "Why?" "Because the Academy decided that the new world cannot be built, until the old one is exterminated." "'I set off for the Academy." "'There was no grand entrance, just a slit of a doorway, cut into stone." "'I entered the residence of the professors of speculative learning." "'The first place I came across was the School of Language.'" "Oh, come in." "Sit down." "Now, speaking is a corrosion of the lungs and to be avoided." "I've devised a method whereby one carries the objects one needs to converse and points at them." "Simple." "These two farmers are making a transaction over a lamb." "No, it's about the weather." "Er, about whether one can walk his sheep over the other's land." "It seems this farmer is furious." "No, he's proposing marriage!" "I think." "Excuse me." "I'm trying to find out how to get to England." "Go to the Room of Answers." "'I passed the School of Politics, full of informers and accusers.'" "Look." "A seemingly innocent note from a boy to his grandfather." ""Our brother Tom has just got the piles." What does that mean?" "Rearrange the letters. "Resist!" "A plot is brought home." "The tour."" "'They were mad, all mad." "'So obsessed with their own worlds, they had forgotten reality.'" "Excuse me, is this the Room of Answers?" "Ah, you've arrived at last." "Put some of these in there." "I..." "I need to find... (Squeaking)" "You see, I need..." "Excuse me." "What are you doing?" "What does it look like?" "I'm extracting sunlight from cucumbers." "Just another eight years and I'll have the problem solved." "Stay and help." "Do stay and help." "It'll be so much more exciting." "'People tried to build houses from the roof downwards, like spiders." "'In one room, hogs were trained to plough fields by digging up acorns." "'Hundreds of professors tackling every problem known to man." "'But no ideas were finished, 'and meanwhile, the country lay in ruins.'" "Is this the Room of Answers?" "Please, I have to know the way home." "You'll never find it, because, in your heart, you don't want to." "NO!" "That's not true!" "Subdue him!" "It's all right." "I'm sure he didn't realise what he was doing." "Down you go." "'This was the most desolate place to which my travels had brought me.'" "You're insane." "Yes, I know." "I mean you're insane to be outside the Academy, unarmed and on foot." "If the Struldbruggs had found you, you'd be dead." "Who are they?" "They live beneath the volcano." "They're everywhere, under our feet." "They torture and kill for sport." "You'd do better to cut your throat than let them take you alive." "Thank you." "I'll remember that." "I am the Lord of Glubbdubdrib." "My name is Lemuel Gulliver." "I'm trying to find my way home to England." "I don't suppose you've heard of it." "Of course I have." "I've just come from the port of Maldonada on the other side of the volcano." "A Dutch vessel there is bound for Portsmouth." "It sails in a few days." "For Portsmouth?" " Home..." " I shall take you there." "Thank you." "But tonight you must be my guest." "Oh..." "Yes." "Thank you." "You are so lucky I saw you before the Struldbruggs." "I bought you some candles." "I do not approve of this treatment of you." "But other doctors have superiority." "They have determined that you spend a week away from human society." "No, I can't stay a week in here." "I'm doing everything I can to get you out." " You have to help me get better." " Of course... and you have to trust me." "Now, take this." "It will calm you and let you sleep." "Have some whenever you want." "Please bring me paper and ink." "I'll write down everything." "A splendid idea." "Alas, you are to be forbidden these things." "I'll bring you chalk to mark off the days." "Now, take the medicine." "Your health." "Do you live alone?" "Quite alone." "I am an historian." "I need the utmost peace to study." "An historian!" "I believe the study of history to be the key to wisdom." "I'd love to browse in your library." "Library?" "I've no interest in books." "I study history purely from the source." "How is such a thing possible?" "My dear friend, you look very tired." "Quite exhausted, in fact." "Do have another glass of wine." "Forgive my rudeness, but I'm suddenly very tired." "Might I retire for the night?" "Of course." "Take your wine with you." "It might help you to sleep." "I think there's going to be a storm." "(Scratching)" "You slept through the storm, sir?" "I must have." "Where's your master?" "He is resting." "He studies at night." " He will join you for dinner." " Thank you." "You mentioned taking me to the port today." "Did I?" "Oh, yes." "Sadly, it's not possible." "In the storm, a fence was broken and my horses escaped." "My servants are out looking for them." "They won't have got far." "We'll ride to the port tomorrow." "Don't worry." "I was writing to your father." "I thought you might add a few words." "Perhaps you will touch his heart where I can't." "Tell him of your silent protest." "I'm sure he'll recognise his own stubbornness in yours." "You can even say how unfair I'm being, if you like." "Write what you want." "I want him to come home." "I wonder, sir..." "Don't think me ungrateful for your hospitality, but..." "When might we go to the port?" "My servants are looking for the horses." "Don't worry." "We'll ride there tomorrow." "Tell me, when might we go to the port?" "My servants are out looking for the horses." "Don't worry." "We'll ride there tomorrow." "Did I ask this yesterday?" "You only arrived yesterday." "It always seems to be dinnertime." "I always seem to sit down and then ask, "When might we go to the port?"" "My servants are looking for the horses." "Don't worry." "We'll ride there tomorrow." "'The wine was drugged." "That's why I remembered nothing." "'I drank none that night, and waited to see what happened.'" "(Footsteps )" "(Lord Glubbdubdrib ) Are you sleeping now?" "Good." "Arise and come with me." "I stand at the gates of life and death." "Come forward." "Come forward, spirits!" "Here is life." "Alexander the Great!" "Great warrior." "Leader of men." "Smell blood." "Smell life." "I summon you!" "(Distant battle cries )" "Who called me and why?" "I'm in the middle of fighting Darius." " Who summoned me?" " I summoned you, great leader." "I wish to confirm, in all humility, some small details of your long and illustrious history." "Our scholars record that you met a terrible death by poisoning." "No, I died of a fever brought on by excessive drinking." "Where do you keep the wine?" "Wait!" "'Alexander the Great!" "I listened as he boasted of his military genius, 'his strength and cunning, 'until he got so drunk, he fell over." "'I bore witness to the resurrection of the greatest heroes of history." "'But I was astounded to see how many villains 'had been raised to the highest positions of trust, power and dignity 'and how many revolutions were due to contemptible accidents.'" "Observing how easily these men of history were summoned," "I began to see a way to gain my liberty." "Come forward, spirits." "Come forward." "Here is life." "Life!" "Michelangelo!" "Mark Antony!" "Leonardo!" "I summon you." "EUREKA!" "That's it." "I've solved it!" "I've solved it!" "Ha ha!" " How did they all get here?" " I have no idea, sir." "Outrageous." "It is so difficult to make them go back." "Socrates, if souls exist after death, why not also before birth..?" "Mark Antony, I order you to return!" "Cleopatra, you must go back." "I beg you." "AH!" "(Cries in pain )" "Who's that?" "A Caesar, I think." "I'm only trying to alleviate my boredom." "I declare this territory to be under my direct rule." "I sent you back." "Stay dead this time!" "ADVANCE!" "Is there no end?" "What now?" "Open the doors!" "I hardly dare say, sir." "Whom have you summoned?" "(Elephant trumpets )" "I wished to ask Commander Hannibal about his adventures in the Alps." "All right." "Get out of here." "Leave me alone." "The door is locked." "(Elephant trumpets )" "'I ran until my lungs were bursting and I thought I would drop dead." "'How long had I been delayed?" "'" "'Could I reach the port in time?" "Did it even exist?" "'Or was it another fantasy?" "'" "Yes?" "Sorry for my bad behaviour." "Mother says to give this letter to my father." "Good news!" "I've persuaded the doctors to return you to your cell, provided that I become more involved in treating you." "I have reconstructed my journal." "But that's wonderful." "It explains all that has happened... and why I feel the way I do." "You've finished your medicine." "We must get you some more..." "You must show this to the doctors." "Of course." "Clean all this nonsense off the walls immediately." "Yes, sir." "Tom!" "What are you doing?" "He's hiding them." "He's hiding them!" "Hiding what?" "Your letters." "You dare to trespass on our land?" "Enjoy the view." "This is the last daylight you'll see." "You are the guest of the immortal Struldbruggs." "No, please." "I must get to the port." "It's my last chance to get home." "Wait!" "There's been a mistake!" "I was just trying to catch a boat." "I was not trespassing!" "Please let me leave." "Crawl forth, seekers of immortality." "No, no." "I don't seek it!" "Grovel before the Immortal Gatekeeper." "What gift have you brought me?" "I can't quite see." "I'm afraid I haven't...brought one." "It will take me years to devise the manner of your death." "Take him away." "Wait!" "I do have something!" "A giant wasp sting!" "A wasp sting?" "(Gasps ) 'A giant wasp sting.'" "In a thousand years, I've never seen such a thing." "Mary, I didn't expect to see you here." "You should've warned me." "This is not a suitable time." "How is he today?" "Well, much the same." "You gave him my last letter?" "Of course." "I saw him read it." "Your letters mean a great deal to him." "He reads them many times." "I understand how hard it is for you to stay at home and wait." "But if he is to recover fully, we must trust the doctors." "You're a liar." "It's for the best." " I understand your anger." " You do not." "Your letters would have upset him." "I'm taking him home." "Would that it were so simple." "But he cannot leave without a formal hearing." "Then I insist a hearing takes place." "Of course." "I do not wish to keep a sane man confined." "I'll speak to the doctors." "We'll do it tomorrow." "Come and see." "I don't anticipate any problem settling the matter." "In my grasp." "Man's greatest desire - to cheat death." "Ordinary people must seem like flowers, blooming and dying in a few days." "Immortality!" "Welcome to the immortal world." "This is the source of the life everlasting." "Drink from this water and you will never fear death." "Never." "But I have to get home." "There's a ship in the port." "I only have minutes before it sails." "Minutes?" "What are minutes?" "You have no need for such petty considerations." "I was offered immortality." "Man's dream." "Without the fear of death, I could learn the truths of existence." "I could get riches and wisdom, read every book written, study the planets and stars." "I'd watch the rise and fall of republics and kings and with my knowledge, offer advice to all." "I could do anything!" "It's true." "I have been there." "And seen what you describe." "The Struldbruggs." "Yes?" "Then I am not mad." "No." "And as I drank, I saw the King riding a walrus, high up in the sky." "What have you been taking?" "I don't know." "It's medicine." "You're a doctor." "Why are you taking something you don't know about?" "I know what it is." "Laudanum." "Drink!" "Taste immortality." "Why is your hand shaking so badly?" "What's wrong with her?" "Nothing." "What's wrong with everyone?" "Drink the water!" "You'll defy nature." "You'll outlive the stars." "You'll be like a God." "You can't see me, can you?" "I'm alive." "The water keeps us alive." "You're blind." "You're all blind!" "No, some of us can make out shapes." "We'll never die." "That's what matters." "We never die." "(All repeat) Never die." "That's all that matters, cheating death." "No!" "NO!" "'I ran like the wind." "The port was surely not far." "'When I reached the jetty, I leapt, leapt!" "'" "I made it!" "I was going home, finally." "England!" "Surely now, after all the misfortunes I'd suffered, nothing could go wrong." "That night, I couldn't eat anything." "Mary, I need some of my medicine." "No." "No." "I feel very sick." "My mouth is red and swollen and I can't lift my arms." "Everyone complains of the same condition." "Perhaps I brought the fever on board." "In a week it spread through the ship." "I got sicker and sicker, but I refused to die." "Not after everything I'd come through." "Too warm and then too cold in the same instant." "Of the officers, only two others survived." "Bodies were rolled overboard by people too weak to perform a decent ceremony." "Everyone stopped working." "The ship just drifted, sails down, and I..." "Mary, I must have some of my medicine." "You're doing so well." "We lost three-quarters of our men." "We were forced to find a port and take on fresh crew." "Some real rogues." "They quickly took over the ship and imprisoned me and the other two officers." "They would have killed us." "That night, I escaped and jumped overboard, and began to swim." "'I swam as long as I could until, at the point of exhaustion," "'I was cast up on a deserted shore.'" "(Mary ) How do you feel this morning?" "I am still here, if that's what you mean." "Lemuel, you must be honest with me." "We are different now." "If you...no longer care for me, you must simply tell me, and I will try to understand." "It's a start." "We must get you ready for the doctors." "(Beating drums )" "Don't be afraid." "Speak the truth." "Admit the fantasies, say they're over and...they'll send you home." "Are you listening to me?" "AH!" "(Angry shouts and grunts )" "The work we do here at Bedlam is humane and yet disciplined." "Ah!" "(Grunts )" "Please come in." "(Grunts )" "Yahoos!" "Ladies and gentlemen, before you today is a most exceptional patient." "Why are these people here?" "Why not?" "They are governors of the hospital, medical students." "You did not say it would be public." "Mary, I cannot reorganise the hospital for your convenience." "I want to go back to my cell." "This place is full of Yahoos." "(Neighs )" "What is your name?" "What?" "State your full name." "Lemuel Gulliver." "Stand up, please." "Then perhaps Dr Bates will inform us about your condition." "May I say something first?" "Yes." "My husband shouldn't be here." "He's an intelligent man, a doctor and a ship's surgeon." "Eight years ago, he was the only survivor of a shipwreck." "Washed up on a strange shore, near starving, forced to drink seawater, he suffered delusions." "He invented people to talk to." "We might do the same, faced with the terror of being totally alone." "He's been very sick, but he's a sane man, a good man." "And he belongs at home with his family." "(Whinnies )" "Look, I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to offend you." "If you're a magician and you've changed yourself into a horse," "I want you to know I'm just a poor Englishman, lost and alone." "I would like to ride on your back to the nearest village or town." "No, wait!" "Please wait!" "You see before you one of the most unusual cases it has been my sad privilege to examine." "I have my own observations about it." "But I would prefer that the patient himself explain a little." "I'm sure you'll find what he has to say...instructive." "Come." "This hearing is at your request." "Everyone is waiting." "What is it to be today?" "More giants?" "Flying islands?" "(General laughter)" " I don't want to say anything." " Really?" "Surely you've had some more fine talks with Plato or Aristotle." "Don't disappoint us." "Nothing to say?" "Very well, escort him back to his cell." "I..." "I..." "I...don't...eat...hay." "I beg your pardon?" "I don't eat hay." "No, thank you." "Do you have any milk?" "You know, from cows." "(Moos )" "Is this where I must sleep?" "At least it isn't with those horrible savages." "(Fierce grunts )" "I can't sleep here!" "See how they tried to attack me!" "And the smell!" "What if they set on me in the night, those...?" "(Horse gruffly) Yahoo." "Ya-hoos?" "YAHOO!" "Yahoos?" "Man." "I'm a m..." "MAN." "Yes, yes." "Man." "You can talk." "What sort of being are you?" "Are you a horse?" "(Neighing) Houyhnhnm." "Hou..." "Hou..." "Houyhnhnm?" "Houyhnhnm." "Houyhnhnm!" "(Raucous laughter)" "That's quite enough of that." "Horses that talked?" "That built houses?" "That milked cows?" "Kept pets?" "(Imitates neighing)" "(Laughter)" "Silence!" "This is a medical examination." "I know that any man would laugh at such a story." "But listen before you pass judgement." "In the name of reason, which is surely the purpose of this assembly," "I ask for your attention." "In the name of reason, then, tell us these horses didn't talk." "They talked." "'I struggled to learn the language of the Houyhnhnms." "'I was a poor student." "'Mistress, the mare who found me, 'learned my speech faster than I hers.'" "They are the most extraordinary creatures any man ever met." "They have no vices, conflicts or disagreements." "Everything is resolved by the exercise of reason." "Simple reason." "The name Houyhnhnm means "perfection of nature"." "You're not here to lecture us but to be examined." "Sit down." "They have a strange custom, that when two of them meet, there is silence before they speak." "This made me consider what I had to say much more carefully." "I tried to give Mistress an explanation of our society - how I was a doctor who heals the sick." "But she could not understand the concept of disease, something absent from their society." "I can't begin to describe all the human sicknesses possible." "We feed on many things which work against each other." "We eat when we are not hungry and drink strong liquor without thirst." "'Often Mistress seemed uneasy, finding it hard to believe my words.'" "When I tried to explain what I meant by "lying" she was shocked." "She told me speech was to make us understand, to receive information." "And if anyone said the thing which is not - a lie - then that purpose was defeated." " Sir, what is your implication?" " None, sir." "I merely point out that she could conceive of no purpose to lying, which is so perfectly understood and universally practised by humans." "'She found it hard to understand 'what I meant by power, government and war." "'For law, punishment and a thousand things their language had no word.'" "Horses in my country are like Yahoos in yours, beasts of burden." "We put iron on their feet so they can walk our stony roads, and saddles so they can be ridden." " By Yahoos?" " They had no choice!" "Horses are broken when they're young." "Males are castrated at two, to take down their spirits." "If they show disobedience, they are whipped, or kicked with spurs." "They pull our loads and plough our fields." "Rich ladies ride them in parks, and we race them for our entertainment." "And when they get too old to work or to be ridden for fun, they are butchered, skinned and sold for dog meat." "And what's wrong with that?" "What is your argument, sir?" "The proposition is that this society of horses is superior to our own." "Is that so, sir?" "I'm not suggesting it, I'm insisting!" "(General uproar)" "The Yahoos, on the other hand, seemed to have no virtues whatsoever." "'The Houyhnhnm language has no word for evil, 'but everything that is bad has "Yahoo" added to it." "'There are a lot of such words.'" "'Fortunately, the Houyhnhnms saw no resemblance between my appearance 'and that of the brutish Yahoos." "'Until one morning.'" "Yahoo!" "Yahoo!" "No, no." "No, I'm not a Yahoo!" "These are my clothes, they cover my body." "Everyone in my country wears clothes." " Why?" " Well, because of modesty." "Imagine if men and women went around naked!" "We'd..." "We'd be preoccupied with sex." "Yahoo!" "No, we're civilised." "We wear clothes to..." "Well, clothes tell you how important someone is." "If you're wealthy you wear clothes of flimsy material, silk or lace, that need to be cleaned constantly." "You buy new clothes all the time." "Obviously, it's unpardonable for a lady to wear a dress more than once." "I don't have any dresses, because..." "I'm a man and men don't wear dresses." "Oh, dear." "Can we change the subject?" "You mean your horse friend didn't understand the need for clothes?" "Precisely." "(Laughter)" " Do you?" " (Bates ) What do you mean?" "(Gulliver) Why not be seen as God made us?" "Every Christian knows it would be immodest." "Would these ladies and gentlemen be incapable of modesty if they were not wearing clothes?" "They would be Yahoos?" "Some of the Houyhnhnms agreed with you, sir." "'They were concerned that I was a Yahoo, 'and should be treated as one." "'I told Mistress that if together we could study these creatures, 'it would become apparent that I had nothing in common with them." "'and we could clear up this confusion once and for all." "'Day One" " Leadership." "'Each herd had a ruling Yahoo." "'I wondered how the Yahoos picked their leader." "'In our country we seek to elect the most intelligent amongst us." "'The Yahoos picked the most mischievous.'" "This leader would choose a favourite whose job was to lick his master's feet and posterior and drive the female Yahoos to his kennel." "What are you implying?" "He would continue in office until an even worse candidate could be found." "Then the Yahoos in the district would come and discharge excrement on him." "I am warning you!" "Day Two" " Aggression." "'The bestial Yahoos fight for no reason at all." "'Whereas, as I explained to Mistress, we only fight for a good reason." "'Such as, because our enemies are much weaker than us, 'or we desire all their land.'" "Day Three" " Mating." "I fear I may shock you with my experience of their practices, but I believe it's vital that you share my deep revulsion at the antics of our neighbours." "The red-haired males and females of the species were more highly sexed than the rest," "so I should have been on my guard." "'It was a hot day, and I thought the Yahoo herd had moved on, 'so I decided to take advantage of the cool water.'" "(Neighs )" "'What frightened me, beyond the violence, 'was that I could be mistaken by a female on heat for another Yahoo.'" "'Could I deny my true nature?" "Was this the real man, a brute?" "'" "When I saw myself in the lake, I wanted to turn away in disgust." "Enough of this nonsense!" "We know enough to make our..." "Then there came a terrible temptation." "'Mistress took me to a cliff I'd not visited before, 'where the Yahoos were digging stones out of the clay.'" "'She explained how the Yahoos coveted these strange rocks 'and asked me why.'" "(Neighs )" "In my country, they're called diamonds." "What are they for?" "I have no idea." "Primitive people like shiny things." "They have no value?" "None whatsoever." "Liar!" "What a liar I was." "That night I made a pick from a flint head." "I crept back to the quarry." "All night long I hacked away to get at the diamonds." "Do you know why I left my wife to go to sea?" "Do you?" "I couldn't earn enough as a doctor at home, so I took a surgeon's wages from a shipping company." "Here I was, in this strange country, holding a fortune in my hands." "I'd never have to work again." "I'm rich!" "Rich." "I can have anything I want." "'But what did I want?" "I thought of only one thing - home, of waking in my own bed with my wife and the things that I knew around me." "Now I was rich enough to give Mary everything." "Except I couldn't leave." "Now that I could have what I wanted, all I wanted was to stay here." "I would rather live with these Houyhnhnms than with my own wife." "Without other people, I'd lost all my vices." "There was no one to envy or steal from or flatter or brag or lie to." "And if I left this place what could happen except my corruption?" "That's my grand country house!" "That's my fine clothes!" "And the servants to dress me!" "And my hunting and my fishing and my vintage wines!" "Because I'm never going back!" "I'm going to become a Houyhnhnm!" "(Neighs )" "That night I slept with a peace I hadn't experienced for years." "I didn't hear the Yahoos creep up and steal my clothes." "Yahoos on the rampage." "They had found a trough of fermenting apples and drunk the lot." "They smashed everything in their path." "My coat!" "Give me..." "'The Houyhnhnm Council reached its judgement." "I must leave them forever." "'Until I left, I must remain with my own kind.'" "How long do I have?" "Until the full moon." "Mistress!" "Is that it, then?" "Am I really just another Yahoo in the end?" "Am I?" "!" "'I worked long days." "'I had resolved to leave, the sooner the better.'" "'I built a boat of skins." "'I loaded it up with vegetables, rabbits and other provisions.'" "We love words, we humans." "We use so many, so easily, until they've lost all their meaning." "But when I say, as the last day dawned, that my heart was breaking..." "I have never known such awful pain and loneliness." "You are more Houyhnhnm than Yahoo." "'As I sailed off, the Houyhnhnms cried out to me from the beach." "'I didn't turn to look." "'It is a sound that will stay with me for the rest of my life.'" "(Neighing)" "'When I could no longer see land I threw all my food overboard." "'I had decided not to return home." "I couldn't live with humans again." "'After many hours a shadow came across my boat." "'I realised that Death had come to claim me.'" "(Excited chatter in French)" "No." "Go away!" "Go!" "Ah, no!" "No!" "I stayed in my cabin the entire voyage, talking to no one." "I ate the foul Yahoo food only to survive." "I washed myself whenever I touched anything, until I reached England." "This is the most extraordinary story." "Coupled with Doctor Bates's notes, I've never heard a story like it." "When my husband came here he was very disturbed." "And I think he's been encouraged to believe his fantasies really existed." "But that's over now, he's purged himself." "Lemuel is not insane." "I want him to come home, and I know that is his wish also." "You say your husband is not insane." "Then do you believe his fantastical stories?" "I believe he has suffered greatly." "But do you believe him?" "It is a simple question." "I believe he has much to teach us..." "I ask you again!" "Do you believe him or not?" "Who in this room has been harmed by him?" "You ask me if I believe him, and my answer is this." "I believe in him." "I believe Lemuel is a truly good man." "I believe he is an honest man." "And I believe his journey has made him a better man." "Tell me the crime he has committed that merits this terrible punishment." "What if his stories are true or not?" "What does it matter?" "He had a thirst, a raging, unquenchable thirst to see the world and drink everything in it." "And now that thirst is quenched." "Perhaps he has drunk more than any man could swallow, but who are we to judge him?" "Who are we to doubt his word and compel him to remain here?" "You have asked your questions, and now I ask mine." "Who in this room has been harmed by him?" "He is harming himself." "It is our Christian duty to keep him here until we cure him." "Your motives for keeping him here are anything but Christian." "How dare you question me!" "He's insane, he must be locked up." "He is a lunatic, gibbering against Mankind, tearing down all shreds of decency and modesty, filthy in word and thought!" "He has a hatred against the human race and a mind fuelled with images from the dunghill!" "Are we to stand by and hear our nature libelled and besmirched?" "I have tried to speak the truth as I saw it." "What arrogance!" "What presumption!" "To show men what they are and teach them!" "You are either a liar or a lunatic." "Which is it?" "GENTLEMEN!" "This is a hospital, not a prison." "Our ambition is not to confine people, but to cure them." "Lemuel Gulliver, you are clearly suffering from a disease of the mind." "This journey happened only in your head." "All we ask is that you acknowledge this." "When you have done that, then you may leave." "What do you say?" "Then I may leave?" "Of course." "(That's all you have to say, Lemuel.)" "Every single thing I have told you is the truth and happened to me." "Why do you persist?" "!" "You say you saw all these things that no one else has ever seen." "Have you one shred of proof?" " I did have..." " No!" "He has no proof!" " Isn't it enough that I say so?" " No, it is not enough." "We shall review your case next year at the same time." "Keepers, take him back to his cell." "Listen, I'm telling the truth!" "Why won't anyone believe me?" "Who is this child?" "Thomas, what are you doing here?" "Go back to your mother, boy." "I thought he'd gone, but he was in the garden eating grass." "I found him again this morning." "'We never saw Bates again." "'I heard he had gone abroad, but I don't know if it's true." "'The house is still in his name, but he never returned to claim it." "'The first money I laid out when I returned 'was to buy two young horses'" "'They understand me tolerably well, and I converse with them every day." "'It was many months before I could look in a mirror without disgust." "'But my family let me walk at my own pace and showed me a kindness 'that is perhaps greater than reason might allow." "'Until, at last, I was able to play with my son, Tom, like a true father 'and be again a husband to my wife, Mary, 'to whom I owe my life and freedom." "'All the Yahoo vices I can begin to accustom myself to once more." "'Except for pride, and that I cannot tolerate." "'I see myself for what I truly am." "'I lost eight years of my life 'and yet the moments I have had, the marvels I have witnessed, 'the wonderful truths I have seen!" "'You see, when night falls and you close your eyes to sleep and dream," "'I have seen the things you can only dream about." "'I have been there." "'I was lost at sea for a long time." "'But I have been there." "Oh, yes." "'All the way, and back.'"