"Zomcon presents..." "A Bright New World." "From the darkest depths of outer space came an evil no man could predict." "A cloud of radiation engulfed our great planet." "Scientists discovered that these space particles caused the reanimation of dead bodies" "Zombies!" "Creatures with but one destructive need-- to devour the flesh of the living." "And so, we were forced to defend our homeland." "The Zombie Wars-- mankind pitted against legions of the undead." "But in our darkest hour, a savior" "Zomcon, and our founder," "Dr. Reinhold Geiger." "Dr. Geiger discovered that if the brain was destroyed, the zombie was destroyed, never to reanimate." "And so, the Zombie Wars were won." "Zomcon built security systems like the perimeter fence that encloses our towns in a wall of protective steel, and surrounds other towns right across this great land." "But even within the fence, danger lurked." "Lingering radiation meant that anyone who died became a zombie." "Be careful, Mrs. Smith." "He's not the man you married." "And then, a breakthrough-- the domestication collar." "With the collar in place, a red light comes on, telling us that the zombie's desire for human flesh has been contained, making the zombie as gentle as a household pet." "But if the collar light goes out, call Zomcon, or push the nearest safety button and we'll be there to handle any zombie problem, large or small." "Thanks to Zomcon, we can all become productive members of society, even after we die." "Or, for those who can afford it, a Zomcon funeral, complete with head coffin, guarantees you a burial you won't come back from." "Your tax dollars allow Zomcon new ways to protect our homeland from the zombie threat, giving us more time to relax and be with our families." "So thank you, Zomcon, for winning the Zombie Wars and building a company for tomorrow that gives us a safer future today." "Zomcon, a better life through containment." "Well, I think that informative film taught us all a little bit more about how Zomcon helps make our world a better place, isn't that right, children?" "Yes, Miss Mills." "Our special guest is here." "Everyone straighten your desks." "Children, I would like to introduce" "Willard's new head of security at Zomcon, who is not only a decorated hero of the Zombie Wars, but is also Zomcon's official safety expert." "Mr. Bottoms is the father of our newest, and I suspect our brightest student, Cindy." "Well, good afternoon, boys and girls." "So how many of you have ever had to kill a zombie?" "Ooh." "Not too many, and that's the way I'd like to keep it." "My job at Zomcon is to make things safe for young people just like you." "That's why I'm building a taller fence, and there are going to be new safety vans patrolling our streets." "And we're going to take everybody's picture just in case one of you..." "gets lost." "What do you think of that?" "Children, does anyone have a question for Mr. Bottoms?" "Yes, Roy." "Stan and me-- I mean, me and Stan, have been Zomcon Cadets for two years, sir." "We think Zomcon's great." "That's terrific." "Thank you." "Does anyone have an actual question?" "Timmy Robinson has a question." "Timmy, go on." "Ask a good question." "Timmy?" "Are zombies dead or alive?" " What a stupid question." " Really stupid." "Now, now, now." "There's no such thing as a stupid question." "The truth is, to some people, zombies might seem human." "But make no mistake, these creatures have only one goal, and that is to eat your flesh." "So without Zomcon, we'd all be dead." "And then where would we be?" " Dead?" " Dead?" "That's right." "So does that answer your question, Timmy?" "I guess." "You guess?" "Well, this isn't a world where we guess, young man." "You either know something or you don't." "I was just thinking about the zombies who were buried too deep to get out of their coffins." "Well, that's impossible." "We always bury the heads separately." "I mean people buried before the space dust." "Couldn't some of them still be in the graveyard right now, trying to claw their way out?" "Yuck." "Well, children, look at that." "It's time for outdoor education." "Let's show Mr. Bottoms how good we are, hmm?" "# In the brain and not the chest #" "# Head shots are the very best #" "# In the brain and not the chest #" "# Head shots are the very best #" "# In the brain and not the chest #" "# Head shots are the very best #" "Trying to make Zomcon look stupid?" "That wouldn't be hard." "What did you say?" "Nothing." " Okay, mister." " But it's out of bullets!" "It felt empty." "A good cadet always knows how many bullets he has left, son." " You idiot." " That's it." "Detention, the pair of you." "That's not fair." "But he said Zomcon was stupid." "Did you say that?" "No, no." "Pick up the box." "Don't drop" "That's Mr. Bottoms' lamp." "If that could go to the den." "It's just to your right..." "It's very fragile." "Hey, Timmy!" "Hi, Mr. Theopolis." "That's no way to treat a bicycle." "Sorry, Mrs. Henderson." "What have I told you about leaving you bike on the lawn?" "Now put it away properly." "Was that so hard?" "Yes, Mrs. Henderson." "What did you say?" "I mean, no, Mrs. Henderson." "What are you looking at, Theopolis?" "I'm going to take this apple pie over to our new neighbors." "See if they actually own all those zombies." "They probably do." "He's the new head of security at Zomcon." "The new head of security moved into the Johnsons' old place." "Well, that's good news." "What on earth, Timmy?" "That is a new shirt." "It was those bullies I told you about." "They pushed me down, and Stan pointed his gun at me." "What?" "Did people see you like this?" "I don't know." "Come here." "There you go." "Everything's going to be fine." "Just go and clean up, put on a new shirt, and we won't even have to talk about those bullies." "Oh, there's one other thing." "Hi, honey." "Made just the way you like it." "A three olive martini." "What did I do to deserve this?" "Helen, what are you up to?" "I've had a long day." "Oh, Bill, honestly." "Sometimes I wonder about you." "I really do." "If you must know," "I have a surprise for you." "Wow." "Hi, Dad." "Hiya, Tim." " How's my boy?" " Fine." " Are you ready?" " There's more?" "Now, just relax." "Isn't it wonderful?" "Now we're not the only ones on the street without one." "Helen, could I speak to you in the kitchen?" "Of course, dear." "You're always so sensible." "Timmy, why don't you go watch some television?" "Yeah, but, Mom, I don't" "I'm sure there's something wonderful on." "But, Bill, the neighbors." "Everybody has one except for us." "Well, Helen, in India everyone has a tiger." "Why don't we just move there and get a tiger?" "Not everybody in India has a tiger, Bill." "That's what I heard." "We can't afford a zombie." "I'm barely keeping up with funeral payments as it is." "Funerals." "Is that all you ever think about, Bill?" "I still can't believe you bought a funeral savings plan for Timmy." "Come on, Helen." "The other kids hate him." "You said so yourself." "Bill!" "I met our new neighbors today." "Did you know that he is the new head of security for Zomcon?" "Really?" "That's who moved into the old Johnson place?" "Uh-huh." "And did you know that they have six zombies." "Six!" "And when his wife asked me how many we had," "I didn't know what to say." "So I told her we had one." "You what?" "What was I supposed to do?" "Tell her that my husband is afraid of zombies?" "I'm not going to talk about this." "Hey." "Zombie?" "The roast." " Dad." " Sorry." "I thought that was a different button." "Whoops." "What are you doing?" "It's hurting him." "Sorry." "I..." "You know, I bet with our new neighbor, we'll have the safest street in Willard." "I can't argue with that." "And, obviously, it will be chained up in the backyard when it's not doing chores." "Obviously." "It'll have to be." "Helen, propriety." "You're the boss, dear." "Afraid of zombies." "I'll tell you what I'm afraid of, little lady." "Nothing, that's what." "Just stay right there." "Think I'm afraid of you?" "Huh?" "That what you think?" "That's right." "That's right." "Nicely done, Tammy." "No." "Grandpa's fallen and he's getting up." "The elderly." "They seem friendly enough, but can you really trust them?" "No." "So don't get caught off guard." "Buy the Zomcon Zombie Alert heart monitor." "When the heart stops, we start." "Aren't you going to help me practice, Dad?" "Oh, is that today?" "You already changed it from yesterday." "But I've already got the driving range booked." "Don't other dads take their kids to the driving range?" "No." "No, they don't." "Honey, honey." "Please don't play baseball by yourself." "It makes you look lonely." "Now, I'm going over to meet our new neighbors." "But you said you already met the neighbors." "Timmy, I thought you were on my side." "Give it here." "Come on, stupid." "Throw it." "It's a baseball." "You throw it." "You throw like a girl." "Did it again." "It's so dumb." "Ow!" "What are you doing?" "It wasn't me." "You shot me with a B.B. Gun." "Get him!" "So, where do you want to get shot?" "Head shot, Roy." "That's the first smart thing you've said all day." " Roy!" " Leave me alone!" "Ow, my arm." "My arm." "Stay away from me." "Stop, zombie!" "Stop!" "Let's get out of here." "And that loser Stan," "I thought he was going to pee himself." "Crying like a sucky baby." "They sure won't pick on me again... at least not when you're around." "What?" "Do you want to play?" "Okay." "We should get a name for you before Mom does." "I know." "How about Fido?" "Nice catch, Fido." "Well, if you're not going to catch it, you got to go fetch it." "Go get it, boy." "Come on, boy." "You're disgusting." "Why don't you go home and get some clothes on?" "If your mother could see you now." "Can't bear to look at you." "You rotten zombie!" "You nearly scared me half to death." "Stop that!" "You're spoiling my quiet time!" "Fido?" "Hello?" "Oh, jeez." "Fido!" "Stupid collar." "That's Mrs. Henderson." "What am I supposed to tell Mom and Dad?" "You're not supposed to even be off your leash." "Dad's going to kill me." "Come on." "I got to get you cleaned up." "Hi, Cindy." "My mom and your mom think we should be friends." "Oh." "Sorry." "That's okay." "I don't mind." "Well, bye." "You're not allowed to have a zombie without a leash." "You're a kid." "I don't care about stupid Zomcon rules." "Here comes my dad, and he sure cares." " Hello, Tommy." " It's Timmy." "Right you are, sweetheart." "Is that blood on your zombie?" "Uh, it was a nosebleed." "Well, that's not a fresh zombie." "Only fresh zombies bleed, son." "I meant my nose." "How did blood from your nose get on to your zombie, then?" "I wiped it there." "Daddy, can we go now?" "I can't be late for my first ballet class." "All right, princess." "Get in." "Come on." "Okay." "Bye, Timmy." "I hate ballet." "I think we're in trouble, boy." "Hmm." "Heart attack, eh?" "My grandpa had a heart attack." "You're not so bad, are you, boy?" "Too bad you had to go and eat Mrs. Henderson." " I don't even want to ask." " He got dirty." "And how on earth did he get dirty?" "We were just in the park" "What were you doing in the park with the zombie?" "You stupid zombie." "Look at what you've done." "I'll never get it cleaned up in time, and in your father's garage!" "You're not allowed in here." "You know that, Timmy." "Mom, when we were in the park" "Timmy, are you listening to me?" "Your father is going to send the zombie back." "No, Dad always does what you say." "No, not this time." "Not with a zombie." "And then what are people going to say?" "They're going to say that the Robinsons are strange, and they're going to be right." "It's nothing, Mom." "We'll clean this mess up." "Dad won't even know." "I promise." "What was so important that you needed to tell me, Timmy?" "Um, it's Fido." "He protected me from the bullies." "Fido?" "Who's Fido?" "Fido." "What kind of a stupid name is Fido?" "Who names their zombie, anyway?" "Lots of people name their zombies." "Mr. Theopolis has a name for his." "I bet he does." "At any rate, zombies don't have heart attacks." "No, I mean before, when he was alive." "That's what killed him, like Grandpa." "What" "You know you're not supposed to talk about your grandfather." "Sorry." "I forgot." "Well, that's quite a thing to forget." "And she's missing since this morning?" "Well, she's always wandering off on her own." "I'm sure she'll turn up." "Mr. Henderson should have put her in a retirement home years ago." "Really, Bill!" "What would Francis do without her?" "He'd be all alone." "Those homes are very comfortable and... secure." "They're only secure because they use the old prison." "Well... she is over 65, Helen, and old people can't be trusted." "Isn't that right?" "Yeah, we had a lot of trouble with old people during the war." "Jonathan, please." "He never gets tired of talking about that dreadful war." "You must have been, what, 10?" "Uh... 11." "Any kills?" "Just... one." "Someone close to home?" "It was his father." "But you're fine now, aren't you, honey?" "Yep." "Well, you did what you had to, Robinson." "It's a terrible thing, the Zombie War." "Families having to kill their own." "Never lose sight of that." "I'd take Dee Dee's head off in a second if I had to." "He always says that." "Don't let 'em get too close." "It makes it harder to pull the trigger." "Well, that went well." "What is it, Timmy?" "I just hope a zombie didn't get Mrs. Henderson." "What a thing to say." "Well, what if somebody's zombie did attack her?" "What then?" "Well, we all remember what happened to the Johnsons when their zombie ate those Christmas carolers." "Did Zomcon really chuck them into the Wild Zone?" "That's probably how the Bottoms got their house." "Bill." "Let's just say there's a very good reason we don't have prisons anymore." "Bill." "Well, Helen, he's gotta learn someday." "Can't keep denying it." "Timmy, I think it's nice that you're caring so much about Mrs. Henderson." "But I think she's gonna be just fine." "Come here." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on." "No more mistakes on Daddy's rug." "No, no, no." "We're not going anywhere until you do your business." "Spike, come here." "You're being a naughty boy tonight, huh?" "Why are you being such a naughty boy tonight, huh?" "Oh, no." "Stay away, Mrs. Henderson." "Sorry, Mrs. Henderson." "You weren't very nice, Mrs. Henderson." "But I'm really sorry you're dead." "Now you're in a garden." "You always liked plants." "So I hope that's okay." "Shh." "You'll wake up Mom and Dad." "Fido?" "Oh, no." "Your collar." "Hey, Timmy?" "Zombie troubles?" "Okay." "Now, Tammy." "All right." "Okay." "It's okay, boy." "Hey!" "You trying to get yourself killed?" "No." "Let me tell you something." "I've had some pretty close calls with my Tammy." "Lookee here." "You want that?" "Not the teeth, Tammy." "Not the teeth, Tammy." "Good girl." "She looks good for a zombie." "Same as the day I met her." "She was shopping in the grocery store for candy corn with her mom." "Had some kind of a brain aneurysm." "They slapped a collar on her before she even hit the floor." "Got her before there was any decomposition." "Where'd you get all this stuff?" "Part of my severance package when I quit Zomcon." "Hey!" "Will you look at that?" "Watch this." "Here you go, Sparky." "You used to be a smoker, boy?" "Old habits die hard." "You wanna rip my face off, don't you." "Oh, yes." "You wanna eat me for dinner." "How come zombies wanna eat people?" "You know..." "I don't know." "Geiger used to say it was their way of trying to come back to life." "Would that work?" "Not a chance." "He was a strange bird, Geiger." "I think that when his wife went zombie, he couldn't stand the thought of losing her." "That's why he invented the collar in the first place." "Okay." "Go ahead, Tammy." "Now... not a word of this to anyone." "Not your mom, not your dad." "This will be our little secret... or it's free lawn mowing for a year." "Yes, sir." "Much better." "There you go." "Is that Dad's suit?" "Yes." "And we don't need to mention it to your father." "He won't even notice." "You look great, boy." "Not bad at all." "Hurry, your father's waiting." "Do we have to go?" "These Sunday drives are very important to your father." "How would it look if we didn't go together as a family?" "But it's weird." "We never know anybody." "Well, maybe this time we will." "Oh, I love this park." "It's so peaceful." "Come here, puppy." "Come on." "Come have some cheese." "Have some cheese." "They seem, in the view of the foolish, to be dead." "And their passing away was part of affliction, and their going forth from us utter destruction." "But they are in peace." "For if before men indeed they be punished..." "Is that zombie wearing my suit?" "What would you suggest, Bill?" "That I buy him a new one?" "Why didn't you leave him the way he was?" "They way he was dressed?" "Come on, Bill." "Head coffin, please." "Head coffin." "This guy's not coming back, you can bet on that." "Shh." "Look." "This is the best part." "Emmitt Mitchell, from dust have you come and to dust shall you return and from dust shall you not be resurrected." "So if a person dies and becomes a zombie, then they're not really dead." "No, not really." "Well... it's like being in purgatory before going to heaven." "What is your father doing?" "So... zombies are sinners?" "L" " I suppose we're all sinners, honey." "But God sees the good in everyone." "God loves zombies, too?" "Even when they kill?" "Well, l" " I think zombies kill because it's their nature." "So then it's not their fault." "No, not really." "What are you so happy about?" "I was just gonna tell you something." "You know what Herman the gravedigger just told me?" " Bill, Timmy was" " Only 10% of people get funerals." "Most become zombies." "Can you believe that?" "Well, they are expensive." "I'd rather be a zombie than dead." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Hold on there!" "Timmy is making observations about the world." "I think it's healthy." "Observation about the world?" "He's a kid." "What does he know?" "He knows a lot." "At least he's not obsessed with funerals." "Better than focusing on walking corpses... who should be buried... without their heads." "Hey!" "We're all getting funerals." "All three of us!" "Bill, get your own funeral." "Timmy and I are going zombie." "Would you look at that?" "Zomcon at the Hendersons'." "I wonder why they're taking Francis away." "He probably gave her an illegal funeral... without a permit." "Is that bad?" "Oh, yes." "Oh, dear!" "This is how it always starts." "Oh, Bill." "One wild zombie, Helen." "That's all it takes." "Hey, that's the schoolteacher." "Any sign of the old lady?" "God, I hate old people!" "I'll be right back." "It's just water, boy." "Come on!" "You missed a spot." "Hi, boys." "Hi, Mom." "I thought you two might be thirsty." "Timmy!" "Timmy!" "Don't be cruel." "Timmy!" "What's going on?" "I was just bringing the boys something to drink." "Zombies don't drink, Helen." "Yes, they can, Bill." "They just don't have to." "We can pretend, can't we?" "It doesn't hurt anybody, does it?" "Hey!" "Give me that." "This is detail work." "It needs to be done delicately if you're gonna protect the finish." "That's why they call it "a man's job."" "Flesh-eating maniacs need not apply." "Hey, Helen." "Floyd." "Hey, get a move on, Robinson." "Um..." "Why don't you..." "stay with us today, and we can be a family?" "Besides, you don't even like Floyd." "You told me yourself." "I said Floyd cheats at golf." "I didn't say I didn't like him." "Bill..." "I have a secret to tell you." "You" " You're all wet, Helen." "I only had one rule." "Which rule was that?" "Very funny, mister." "Get this zombie chained up." "Now!" "Bye, honey!" "Now what is that?" "This is her walker... thingy, sir." "At least that's what our witnesses say." "We caught these two in the bushes firing their .22s at the wild zombies." "The little one?" "Shot Dougie in the leg." "Get that out of sight, will ya?" "It's a boot." "Put it back." "So let me get this straight." "You're saying that the Robinson zombie tried to eat you and then moved on to Mrs. Henderson." "Is that right?" "Yes, sir." "Well, I don't see any bite marks." "Well, he actually didn't try to bite us." "Shut up, Stan!" "He broke my arm." "Do you know what I think?" "I think that you shot the old lady just like, uh... just like you shot Dougie over there." "No way!" "It's all Timmy Robinson's fault." "You got nothing to worry about now, boy." "Dad loves ya!" "Come on!" "They'll never split us up, Fido!" "Ever!" "Whoo!" "Come on, boy!" "That was fun, boy." "Did you like swimming?" "You know, I didn't even know you could swim." "We gotta get you back before Dad comes home." "Don't do anything, boy." ""Boy"?" "Let's just shoot him now, Roy." "Nah." "Let's stick to the plan." "What are you doing?" "We're gonna be heroes." "What" " What are you talking about?" "We know your zombie killed the old lady." "We told Bottoms, and he's gonna send your whole family to the Wild Zone." " What?" " Shut up, Stan!" "He would have believed us, too, if you'd let me do the talking." " You're the one who blew it." " Shut up!" "You're wrecking the fun." " I'm just saying" " Shut up!" " Roy, stop telling me" " Shut up!" "Okay, Robinson..." "I'm gonna shoot him dead just before he gets to you." "I'm gonna save your life from the zombie." "He's gonna pay for everything." "Do it, Roy!" "Jeez, Roy!" "Blast him!" "Oh, crap!" "You made me shoot my stupid brother!" "Oh, jeez!" "Please don't eat me, Fido." "I knew you wouldn't eat me, boy." "I knew it." "Hurry and untie me." "You're right, boy." "It's not gonna work." "You gotta go for help." "You better clean up first." "Quick, Fido." "Please!" "Good boy!" "That'll hold him." "Now go get Mom." "Fido, wait!" "You promise not to eat Mom, right?" "I got it!" "I got it!" "Stand aside." " It's Joe Peterson." " Not anymore he ain't." "Well..." "Little rusty." "Okay." "Bull's-eye." "Hey." "Nice shot." "Goodness, Fido, you scared me." "What is it?" "Where's Timmy?" "What..." "What..." "Is something wrong?" "Is Timmy in trouble?" "Please, someone help!" "Which way, Fido?" "Is this the right way?" "Hold on." "Your collar!" "Why aren't you eating me?" "For goodness sake, Fido." "Help!" "Which way now, Fido?" "Help!" "Help!" "Get away!" "Mom!" "Oh, Timmy!" "Thank God you're all right." "God!" "Timmy!" "You crazy wonderful zombie." "You never saw this." "They were zombies, and they were going to kill you." "I know, Mom." "I did what I had to do." "I know." "And I don't want you thinking that what we did is normal or okay in any way." "I don't." " Nice shot." " Thanks." "It's so nice to see Cindy with a friend." "She doesn't have many?" "We're always moving." "It's..." "It's hard for any of us to make friends." "Jonathan seems to like it that way." "Bill's lived in Willard his entire life, and he still doesn't have any friends." "And he definitely likes it that way." "He must be excited about the new baby." "He hasn't even noticed." "How could he not notice?" "You want another beer?" "I wouldn't say no." "Dee Dee, get us a couple of cold ones, will ya?" "Coming right up, dear." "Hey." "You're not actually gonna get him another beer, are you?" "Get your own beer, Bill." "Come on." "Let me show you the war room." "So that Helen of yours..." "What a live wire." ""Get your own beer, Bill."" "Makes you wonder what's going on in that little head of hers." "You can say that again." "My first kill." "That is Uncle Bob." "Now, I gather it was Helen's idea to get a zombie." "Yes, it was." "She seems pretty friendly with it." "What are you suggesting?" "Look, Robinson, when people get attached to their zombies, it, uh-- it only spells trouble." "Trouble for me, trouble for you... trouble for Mrs. Henderson." "Mrs. " " Mrs. Henderson?" "Somebody's zombie got her." "Did they?" "Well, I don't know, Robinson." "Why don't you tell me." "Chances are you know a lot more than you think." "Well, that was fun." "Timmy, go to bed." "Helen, we have to talk." "Oh, lighten up, Bill." "Helen." "I am trying to have a serious discussion with you, Helen." "Turn that off, Helen!" "What is that damn zombie doing in my E-Z Boy?" "Bill." "We haven't danced since our wedding night." "This is hardly the time." "Come on, Bill." "Dance with me." "I don't" "Helen." "That... is enough." "Well, if you're not gonna dance with me," "I know someone who will." "Bill!" "Bill!" "Nighty-night." "I'm sorry about Bill." "He's..." "He's just..." "I wish I would have known you before." "Before you died." "Do you remember that?" "Can I see that?" ""Timmy..." "R."" "Fido?" "Fido!" "What are you doing with Fido?" "Oh, I think we both know what's gonna happen to Fido." "No!" "You can't!" "He didn't do anything wrong!" "Well, maybe he didn't, but you did." "And because you made friends with a zombie, a lot of nice people in this neighborhood got killed." "You didn't think of that, did you?" "Timmy... do you know that I could send you and your whole family to the Wild Zone for what you've done?" "How do you think I got the Johnson place?" "But I had a nice talk with your parents, and they assured me that nothing like this would ever happen again." "Isn't that right, Helen?" "Go to your room." "Now." "Yes, sir." "These little problems are all about containment." "And Floyd hits this big slice into the clubhouse, and the ball hits old man Patterson right between the eyes." "I thought we were gonna have our first zombie golfer." "How come they blame the bullies for Mrs. Henderson getting killed?" "Well, we're just lucky to have a neighbor like Mr. Bottoms." "Your mother is right, Tim." "But Fido had to die." "The bullies got blamed for it anyways." "Mom killed the bullies and didn't tell anyone." "How come she didn't get in trouble?" "Why" " Why are we talking about this?" "I thought we agreed we weren't gonna have to talk about this!" "Bill, where are you going?" "I loved Fido, too, you know." " You did?" " Yeah." "Well... in a way I did." "Like Mr. Theopolis loves Tammy?" "No, he does not." "Like a friend, Timmy." "Just like that." "You see, Timmy, the thing about your dad... is that he is still a part of this family." "He is?" "Of course he is." "Why would you say something like that?" "I think he loves us." "I do." "I just think that he's afraid to admit it." "Dad, you just passed the school." "Oh." "So I did." "Bye, Dad." "Uh, Timmy... uh..." "Look, l" " I know it's hard." "I understand." "You do?" "Sure I do." "Look, son..." "I know when you're a kid, you feel things." "A lot of... things." "But you have to get over that." "Get over what?" "Feelings." "Feelings." "Not important, okay?" "Being alive is what counts." "Wait a minute." "I got something." "Go on." "Open it." " It's a gun." " Take it out." "I know you're not supposed to have a handgun... until you're 12... but it can come in real handy." "What do you say?" "Thanks, Dad." "This will just be between us." "Keep it in your book bag." "Don't forget the bullets." "There you go." "Have a good day, Tim." "Bye, Dad." "Bill?" "Do you think we did the right thing sending Fido back?" "I had a great chat with Tim today." "I think everything is gonna be just fine." "Really?" "Absolutely." "Bill, do you love me?" "I'm pregnant." "Oh." "I'm sure it's nothing." "You're just gaining a little weight." "Helen." "I just don't think on my salary I can afford another funeral." " Are you sure?" " I heard Daddy on the phone." "He said he never wastes a good zombie." "He's got him working the factory." "Can you get us in there?" "Are you crazy?" "My dad would kill me." "No, I mean he really would kill me." "But I know someone who can." "Not the teeth, baby." "Good girl." "Mr. Theopolis?" "Yeah." "Is Tammy your girlfriend?" "What do you mean?" "Cindy says that she's your girlfriend, and you got fired from Zomcon for having a zombie girlfriend." "She said that?" "Aren't you worried they'll take her away?" "Nah." "I'll just get me another one, the same vintage." "Hey, I'm kidding." "I went and hurt her feelings." "So, you clear on the plan?" "Yeah." " Theopolis." " Hi, Frank." "What are you doing back here?" "Oh, you know, just bringing the old unit in for a tune-up." "It's, um..." "Tammy." " Right?" " That's right." "Tammy." "So..." "Okay, go ahead." "Thanks, Frank." "Timmy!" "Bill!" "If Timmy hadn't broken the rules in the first place, none of this would have happened." "He messed up, not me." "I suppose you think he got so attached to the damned thing because I'm a bad father." "I'd say I'm a pretty darn good father." "My father tried to eat me." "I don't remember trying to eat Timmy." "Bill, just because your father tried to eat you, does that mean we all have to be unhappy... forever?" "Welcome to Zomcon's returns department." "Please... stay with your zombie at all times, maintain an orderly line between the railings, and use our conveniently placed safety buttons..." "Come on." " Are you all right, Mr. Theopolis?" " Yeah, I'm fine." "Now, the door into the factory is right behind the clerk." "Are you ready?" "All right." "Honey..." "I'm gonna be gone for a little while, and then I'm gonna come back, all right?" "You stay here." "All right." "Let's do this." "Wild zombie!" "Wild zombie!" "That's my Tammy." "You" " You knucklehead!" "Fido?" "All right, seal off the returns room... and shut off that damned alarm." "You naughty little boy." "No, not you." "I'll call you back." "Fido?" "Fido?" "Fido!" "I'll be right down!" "Hello, Timmy." "No!" "Turn the car around." "We need to keep the road clear." "Of course, Frank." " What's happening here?" " I'll call it in!" "This way!" "This way!" "Timmy!" "Bill, give me that gun." "I'm going in." "You stay here in case Timmy shows up." "No, l" " I want to." "Bill, give me the shotgun." "I am a good father." "Bill!" "Remember, Helen..." "head coffin." " I just wanna show you something." " You can't make me go!" " Come on!" " No!" "Now... take a look, all right?" "Out there is chaos." "And in here is safety." "People who don't understand that end up on the wrong side of the fence." "Now go on and make yourself some friends." "No!" "No!" "Let me out!" "Please!" "Stay away from me." "Come on, Robinson." "All right." "All right." "Fido, it's you." "Where's Timmy Boy?" "They're not particularly fast, are they?" "Fido!" "Dad!" "Robinson?" "I'd like you to let my son back inside the gate now, please." "I don't think so." "Now you be quiet!" "Help!" "Leave him alone!" "Dad!" "Get him, boy!" "Fido!" "Behind you!" "Mom!" "Where's your father?" "Get in." "See you later, Frank." "My God." "Zomcon forces spent Saturday afternoon securing a Wild Zone breach within Willard's own Zomcon Containment Center." "Human casualties were low, but the nation mourns one of its greatest and most respected war heroes." "Zomcon Chief John Bottoms died valiantly while defending the people of Willard from a wild zombie outbreak caused by this man..." "Frank Murphy, a once-trusted Zomcon security guard, who was caught accepting bribes from a renegade group of wild zombie poachers." "Are you ready, dear?" "Head coffin, please." "Bill Robinson... from dust have you come, and to dust shall you return." "But from dust shall you not be resurrected." "It's what he always wanted." "Okay, Tammy, just what you ordered." "Now don't you move a muscle." "There's only one Tammy in the world, right?" "Nice catch!" "Hi, Timmy." "Hi, Fido." "Hi, Timmy." "Surprised?" "Sort of." "It's okay." "He's so cool in a way." "And he's a lot nicer." " Do you wanna play catch?" " Sure." "Does, uh, your zombie wanna play?" "What do you call him, anyways?" "I don't know." "Right now I'm just calling him Daddy." "Sure." "Okay." "Come on." "Come on, Daddy." "Subtitled By J.R. Media Services Burbank, CA"