"(THUNDER CRASHING)" "♪♪" "♪♪" "♪♪" "(SCREAMING)" "♪♪" "*HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA" " THE SERIES* Season 01 Episode 08" "(BATS SQUEAKING) Part-1 Title: "Frankenstunt" " "(ON MEGAPHONE) We're burning moonlight here, monsters." "Chop-chop." "Wow." "True artist at work." "And you, just standing around." "What are you, a non-speaking role?" "Um, Mr. Scarafino?" "That's a plant." "Maybe if you took off your sunglass?" "Take off my sunglass?" "(ON MEGAPHONE) Why don't you take off your face?" "Oh, you can't?" "You're fired." "(CRYING)" "(SWALLOWING) I love show business." "I know, right?" "How awesome is it that Hank's dad is filming his new Detective Fistpunch movie here?" "You want a piece of me?" "Whoa." "You sound just like your dad in Fistpuncher IV:" "The Punchening." "You could be an actor, too, Hank." "Oh, come on, Mavis." "I could never do what my dad does." "He's a pro." "Ohh!" "Frankenstein is in the house." "Now, who's ready to make some magic?" "Hey, Hankie." "Free vanilla scream donuts." "Not bad, eh?" "You want a piece of me?" "I sure do. (CHEWING)" "Okay, here we go, Frank." "(ON MEGAPHONE) Lights, camera, and action." "(ANGRILY) You want a piece of me?" "Cut." "Print." "Moving on." "Chop-chop." "Ow!" "Okay, that's a wrap for me." "Great job, everybody." "See you tomorrow." "HANK:" "Uh, where's Dad going?" "His big action scene is coming up." "Ah, try to keep up, kid." "We don't let the stars do the dangerous stuff." "We leave that to the schmoes." "Bogdan and Fyodor reporting for smashy-smashy schmo duty." "What?" "So, that wasn't Dad in the coffin-surfing scene in Monster Wave?" "Nope." "All gremlins." "Huh." "I just can't believe it." "Everything I knew about my dad is a lie. (SOBBING)" "Wait, Hank." "But, but, what about these sweet snacks?" "Somebody think of the snacks." "When I ask for a script, I get a script!" "Got it?" "Uh, Mr. Scarafino?" "Here's your script." "Excellent." "I knew I could count on my new script coordinator." "(GASPS) Sir, I promise I'm going to be the best script commander you ever had." "Meh." "Close enough." "Action." "Hank?" "Hankie?" "It's your old man." "HANK:" "Go away." "Um, Uncle Frank?" "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I don't think Hank wants to see you right now." "He's sort of got a broken heart." "He put it in the dryer again, didn't he?" "No." "He's devastated because he thought you did your own stunts." "He thought you were a hero." "He did?" "(STUTTERS) I..." "I-I I had no idea my movies meant so much to him." "Of course they do." "He idolizes you." "So, if Hank is sad because I'm not a stunt man, then I'll just do my own stunts." "Oh, no, no." "That's not what I meant." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Yeah." "Yeah, I'm still in okay shape." "I can totally pull this off." "(BONE CRACKING) (SCREAMING)" "You see?" "I'm still a natural." "Come on." "This isn't fun anymore." "FRANKENSTEIN:" "Oh, really, kiddo?" "I think it'll be a blast." "(GASPS) Dad?" "Hey, Hankie." "Your old man really is a hero." "Now, bring on the stunts!" "All right." "We all agreed this shot is too dangerous even for our stunt gremlins." "So, we'll use computers to add Fistpunch in later." " Got it?" " What's that, now?" "And action!" "(SCREAMING)" "Ow." "Cut." "Great work, everybody." "FRANKENSTEIN:" "(HOARSELY) Little help?" " Dad!" " Holy rabies." "(YELLS) Ooh." "Thanks, kids." "I think I saw more of me over by the, uh, bridge, and the front door, and just, yeah, pretty much all over." "Sure." "I can totally put him back together." "I'm great at puzzles." "Um, that sort of looks like you just squished all the pieces together even though they didn't fit." "(LAUGHING) Yeah." "Works for me." "(SIGHS) This is all my fault." "Why did I make such a big deal about Dad doing stunts?" "Come on, Hank." "Your dad blew himself up for you." "That's pretty cool." "I guess." "What if he can't act in the movie?" "Huh." "Oh, wait." "Hank, I have a great idea." "You could stand in." "You kind of look like your dad and you do an amazing Fistpunch." "What?" "That is the opposite of a great idea." "WENDY: (ON MEGAPHONE) Fistpunch to the set." "Can I get a 20 on Fistpunch?" "(SNORING) Huh?" "I guess Frank is not here." "Okay, people." "We're shutting down production." "The studio will go broke and Frank will never work again." "Uh, no." "I..." "I'm here." "I'm... (CLEARING THROAT) I'm here." "Uh, Detective Fistpunch reporting for duty." "Wow, Frank." "You sound so young and immature." "Hmm." "Exactly what we need for the flashback to Fistpunch's childhood." "Mavis?" "I only know the one line." "I guess it's lucky we just happen to have the new script coordinator right here, then, isn't it?" "Where?" "Oh, that's me." "(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)" ""You want a piece of me?"" "Wow!" "Nice punch-up, kid." "And action." "(GULPS AND SIGHS)" "You want a piece of me?" "Hmm." "Uh, cut." "Perfect." "Moving on." "Chop-chop." "Time is money..." "(SCREAMING)" "Wait." "That's it?" "That's acting?" "Yup." "It's the easiest job in the world." "Literally anyone can, ahem, do it." "Oh, hoh, man." "You saved the day with that one, Hank." "I bet Dr. Gillman must have your dad back together by now. (SCREAMS)" "I'll maybe give it another go." "You think?" "Wait." "I've got a movie to make." "They're going to shut down production." "The studio will go broke..." "Uh, no." "No, they won't." "I sort of, uh, stood in for you." "You stood in for me?" "(TEETH CHATTERING)" "Genius!" "(LAUGHING) I'm so proud of you, Hank." "It's a perfect plan." "I sort of came up with the plan, but, uh..." "Aw, Dad, come on, don't." "Sorry, but I'm too proud." "I got to give my boy some love." "Uh, no, no, Dad." "(LAUGHING)" "Your body, it's going to... (BOTH EXCLAIM)" "Come on, Hank." "You can do this." "You can do this." "That's right, Hank." "You got this in the bag. (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "(RAPPING) ♪ Y'all know my boy can rhyme ♪" "♪ It's your man, Hankenstein kick it ♪" "(RAPPING) ♪ Hankenstein chewing scenery ♪" "♪ Like a piece of well-oiled machinery ♪" "♪ I'm going to keep it in the family" "♪ But for some reason you still want a piece of me ♪" "PEDRO:" "♪ That's right ♪" "HANK: ♪ Now, this is how the party starts ♪" "♪ Uh-huh ♪ ♪I'm fighting ninjas with my body parts ♪" "♪ Get 'em, Hank ♪ ♪ I make detective work a kind of art ♪" "♪ While my agent crushes the craft service cart ♪" "PEDRO: ♪ Mmm-hmm. ♪" "♪ You want a piece of me ♪" "♪ Want a piece of me ♪" "BOTH: ♪ You want a piece of me you want a piece of me ♪" "Whoa." "H-Town is not in at the moment." "Um, H-Town is right behind you." "(SLURPING)" "You know I can see him, right?" "Mavis." "What's up, girlfriend?" "What are you working on right now?" "Uh, getting your dad fixed." "Dr. Gillman says he's almost put him back together." "(COUGHING)" "That is terrible news." "Oh, it's okay." "No one can blame you for getting swept..." "Wait." "What?" "I don't want to give up being a star." "You get all this awesome stuff like, uh, like free robes." "Yeah, those aren't free." "Uh-oh." "WENDY: (ON MEGAPHONE) Fistpunch to the set for the big coffin jump stunt." "Hank..." "I just said Hank, we're going to pretend I said Frank..." "And we're going to get him to the set for the coffin stunt." "No one is stealing this scene from me." "Not my dad, not those stunt gremlins." "This is my movie." "Wait, Hank." "This isn't you." "You're right, Mavis." "This is Detective Fistpunch, and everybody wants a piece of me." "(COUGHING)" "Let's get my man another free robe." "Uncle Frank, come quick." "Hank has lost his mind." "I bet he left it on top of a soda machine." "No." "He fired the stunt guys and is going to do the coffin jump himself." "(GASPING) Did you say the coffin jump?" "We've got to stop him!" "But I'm not finished with that ankle, and you forgot your lollipop." "Places, everyone." "(ENGINE IDLING)" "(MEEKLY) Whoo." "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Acting." "Let's do this." "Somebody yell "action."" "And action." "(CLICKS)" "(STAMMERS) I-I-I can't do this." "I'm so scared." "What was I thinking?" "Oh, we're too late!" "MAVIS:" "Not yet." "Hank, stop!" "Oh, no." "Dad, what are you do..." "Stopping you from making the biggest mistake of your afterlife." "I was once a fresh-faced star, convinced I could do it all." "But you learn, son." "Stunts hurt." "A lot." "Don't do your own stunts, Hank." "It's bad." "Stunts bad." "(GASPS)" "(FRANK GRUNTS)" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "(SCREAMING) Put on your seat belt, Hank." "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "I'm sorry, Dad." "Don't apologize yet, Hankie." "I think we're going to make it." "Oh." "Actually, we're not even close." "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(GLASS SHATTERING)" "(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)" "The award for best stunt goes to..." "SCARAFINO:" "What?" "(FRANK AND HANK GASP)" "Bogdan and Fyodor for The Littlest Chupacabra?" "(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)" "No!" "Ow." "Ow." "I thought you deserved it, son." "I thought we deserved it, Dad." "Well, at least Wendy is taking home some hardware." "MAVIS:" "Who would've thought they actually give out awards for screenwriting?" "Mmm-hmm." "That's right." "(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "Any meetings with Ms. Blob can be made through my agency," "Pedro in Full Enterprises." "Hey, can we get some more free robes over here or what?" "Chop-chop." "(BATS SQUEAKING) Part-2 Title: "What About Blob" " "Balloons, Fifi?" "How droll." "(GROWLS)" "Better." "What's with her?" "She's all edgy about the Meeting of the Minds convention." "It's, like, the hotel's biggest event of the year." "She wants everything perfect." "Ah, I love when those floating brains visit." "They're so smart." "Maybe they can help me get out of this. (GRUNTS)" "I got you." "(GRUNTING)" "Finally." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Mr. Stein, put your hands back on." "Now, get back to work!" "(GROWLS)" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "Too much?" "(CLUCKS)" "Nope." "Still don't see the future." "AUNT LYDIA:" "Mavis?" "Too leafy." "Start again." "Ugh!" "Ya-cha!" "AUNT LYDIA:" "And Mavis, that was a pitiful attempt at "Ugh!" "Watcha!"" "Oh." "Aunt Lydia is driving me crazy." "This convention has her so wound up she is all over me." "AUNT LYDIA: (OVER INTERCOM) Mavis Dracula to the front desk, now." "You're not the boss of me." "Sorry." "You think you've got problems?" "Daddy won't leave me alone." "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "He read your dad's self-help book," "(MIMICS DRACULA) Bleh, So You Have a Daughter, Bleh." "It just told him to be the cool dad and just one of the gang." "Yeah." "That is definitely not cool." "And can someone burn all copies of that book immediately?" "He's been following me everywhere." "This morning he even came to my jazzercise class." "It was..." " Humiliating?" " Worse." "♪♪ Jazz Music Playing..." "WENDY: ♪ He was awesome. ♪" "♪♪" "Ugh." "Okay, clearly Aunt Lydia and your dad are a problem." "There's got to be a way to get them off our backs." "(GRIM REAPER MOANING)" "Not what I meant." "(SCOFFS)" "Hmm." "Hmm." "Maybe instead of trying to get rid of them, we should be trying to get them together." "Then they could bug each other and leave us alone." "Maybe we could arrange a meeting time for them to get together in a romantic setting." "No, that won't work." "But we could set them up on a date." "I love it." "PEDRO:" "We couldn't help but overhear, but you know we are expert matchmakers." "Who do you think set up Gordo with that foxy swamp thing?" "(BELCHING)" "(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) Thanks." "But, uh, no offense, we're teenage girls." "We know everything about everything." "We've got this..." "Totally under control." "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "MAVIS:" "Okay, I'm going to go this way." "I'll just slime to the bottom." "You see?" "(WENDY SCATTING)" "(SPEAKS IN GIBBERISH)" "(READING NOTE IN GIBBERISH)" "(GASPS)" "Yes." "Okay." "I think he's convinced." "He's going to ask her on a date." "How'd it go with Aunt Lydia?" "Piece of worm cake." "I just told her your dad was coming to complain, and now she's all eager to see him." "(SNARLING)" "But she'll pull out his windpipe and show it to his face." "Normally, yes, but A, he has no windpipe, and B, you and your dad have lived in the penthouse since forever." "He's Hotel Transylvania's most important guest." "That's true." "♪♪ Guitar trumming... ♪ They say that love ♪" "♪ Comes from the most unexpected places ♪" "♪ But who could have guessed ♪" "♪ It'd involve these two faces ♪" "♪♪" "Eeesh." "BOTH:" "♪ But maybe ♪" "♪ A lovebird will attack ♪" "♪ And this happy love ♪" "♪ Will get them off your back ♪" "What is your problem?" "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "Flowers?" "Uh-oh." "I was under the impression you were here to complain, but this feels more like you're asking me out on a date." "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "(LAUGHING) You and I?" "No." "(SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH)" "What letter and tie?" "Mavis!" "MAVIS:" "Um, okay, Mr. Blob." "I think it's probably best you just... (SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "What?" "I'm not a bad influence." "Right, Wendy?" "If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" "Yeah, don't you remember?" "I broke my blob in two places." "Never mind." "Bad example." "Mr. Blob, we put up with a lot of disgusting behavior at this hotel... (BELL RINGING)" "But you will not disparage my niece." "(GASPS) Is someone recording this?" "Please, please say yes." "Mavis is a Dracula, and as such, she will command your respect." "That's so nice." "Mind you, it's tradition." "As a Dracula, I would defend her if she were a pus sac under a corn on my foot." "That's less nice." "But if anyone is to blame, it is your daughter." "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)" "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "Yes, I suppose I am saying you are a bad father." "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "Fine." "Bad riddance!" "Leaving Hotel Transylvania?" "Forever?" "This is so unfair." "All we wanted to do was get Aunt Lydia and your dad off our backs through trickery and deception, and now you're moving to the Cramptons?" "Daddy has a retreat there." "WENDY:" "I bet it's a nightmare." "We've got to find a way to fix this." "Perhaps we can be of service." "This is a graham cracker." "Y-Y-Yeah." "And it says that in addition to being matchmakers, we are also experts at cleaning up messes." "Okay, fine." "We're desperate enough to accept even terrible help." "Yes!" "(SCOFFS) Dude..." "See, this is why we're always so low on business cards." "WENDY:" "Cool blueprints." "Okay." "Here's you." "Here's Wendy and her dad." "Here's Aunt Lydia." "Here's their limo to the Cramptons." "Now, all you got to do is come up with a plan, and boom, Wendy stays." "I love it." "That's the plan?" "So, in other words, you have no plan?" "Uh, I spent a lot of time making these blueprints, you know." "Okay." "I've got an idea." "All part of the plan." "Mr. Blob, he's been Hotel Transylvania's most important guest for decades." "Aunt Lydia could never in a zillion years afford to lose him." "But 1,700 brains are checking in for the Meeting of the Minds." "Aunt Lydia figures they'll cover the loss of the Blobs." "That's where we come in." "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "Aunt Lydia, please just apologize." "If you do, I'm sure they'll stay." "Ha." "Never." "I say bad riddance to that blobbermouth." "Soon, the brains will arrive, and all will be well." "Um, Aunt Lydia, sir?" "Um, someone wiped a booger on your bedroom door." "Really?" "(ROARS)" "AUNT LYDIA:" "Come." "Wendy, come in." "Assemble all the hotel staff to greet our new guests, and be sure everyone is eating a tomato." "You can eat those?" "Yes." "Welcome to Hotel Transylvania." "(BRAINS GASP)" "(CHUCKLES) Oh, this?" "This is just a mild case of the 24-hour zombie flu." "You rest assured it's totally isolated and not contagious at all." "(ALL GASP)" "Tomato!" "(ALL SHRIEKING)" "(SCREAMING)" "Where are you going?" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "They're leaving." "Seems like for whatever reason they changed their minds." "(LAUGHING)" "Get it?" ""Minds"?" "(LAUGHING)" "Not at all." "This is a daydream." "The Meeting of the Minds is huge business." "Hotel Transylvania will be ruined." "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "(PHONE CONVERSATION IN GIBBERISH CONTINUES)" "The Cramptons?" "What's in the Cramptons?" "Whoo-hoo!" "Ha-ha." "Let's do this." "(FIREWORKS WHISTLING, EXPLODING)" "Whoa." "(BEEPING PHONE OFF)" "So, I guess maybe you need a place to stay after all." "Ah, very well." "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "Yes!" "We did it." "We're staying." "Boom drac-a-lacka!" "For once, scamming the old folks doesn't blow up in our faces, and I said that out loud, didn't I?" "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "I'm afraid I have to agree with my gooey friend here." "We'll need to keep a much closer eye on you two." "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Come, Mr. Blob." "Diane and I will help you unpack." "(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)" "(LYDIA LAUGHING)" "At least they finally left us alone." "Oh." "(WATER SPLASHING)" "I look great in hats." "♪♪ Sync corrections - by srjanapala" "♪♪"