"She's awake." "Say something romantic." "Do you think this is a good time to start talking about a nickname for my penis?" "It's just that I-I dated this girl in college who made the decision without consulting me, and then all of a sudden there it was -- eighteen straight months of it being called "Little Buddy"." "And we just didn't like that; not one bit." "J.D., I haven't even had coffee yet." "Ah, you're right, I'm sorry." ""Big Al" for example...." "Why don't you just tell me a story?" "Something romantic." "Okay." "Once there was a beautiful girl who met a stunningly handsome young doctor...." "He noticed her right away." "And she noticed him noticing her." "Their first date was amazing." "They had so much fun together, they felt like kids again." "Then it was time for their first kiss." "And...how was that?" "Intense." "Whoa!" "Woo!" "Agh!" "The next date didn't start that well, either..." "And that night, well it was the most amazing night the young doctor ever had." "And then what happened?" "And then the young doctor realized he hadn't seen the beautiful girl naked in the light yet." "Damn!" "Are you as into this as I am?" "If I wasn't crazy about ya, would I be willing to do this?" "Doom-doom, bah, do-doom-doom, dop-bop..." "As I was doing the Naked Chicken Dance that my uncle Bart had taught me," "I realized that life couldn't get much better than this." "...doom-doom, dop-dop, doom" "Okay!" "Now, just because Jordan thinks it's cute that you're violating her little sister doesn't mean that you can use my guest-room for your nerdy, G-rated sexcapades." "And oh, my God, what are you doing with my little boy, you sick, sick bastard!" "?" "My bad." "It's a beautiful shot of you." "Jus-- Come'ere!" "Ju--you filthy, filthy boy!" "Filthy girl!" "Filthy girl!" "Aww, you're okay, Little Buddy!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!" "Scrubs 3x08" "Even though Dr. Cox got a front-row look at Little Buddy" " ohhh, no!" "Now I'm saying it!" " my day still started off great!" "I'm about to set a new distance record for projectile vomiting." "Come on...." "It reminds me of my sexiest kiss:" "Our honeymoon, standing waist-deep in the ocean...." "I think you were in at the bar." "Okay!" "Gotta go!" "Come on." "Be brilliant today!" "I always am." "Ah!" "Ow!" "You know, I hit my head so hard I actually saw cartoon birds." "Then I realized I was in Pediatrics and it was just the wallpaper!" "Ha!" "Stunning." "Look, Tammy, as far as your love life goes, normally I couldn't care less who's laying your quivering body down by the fire while your lips whisper "No, no...no" but your eyes scream, "Yes." "Yes." "Oh, big daddy, yes!"" "But when you're dating Jordan's sissy-poo, it forces me to spend time with you outside of the hospital, and I just won't have that." "So, hhhere's the deal:" "Don't want to have dinner with you." "Don't want to go bowling with you." "And I never, ever again want to walk into my kitchen and hear you say," ""Ohh, it's waffle time!" "It's waffle time!" "Won't you have some waffles of mine?"" ""...waffles of mine..."" "Bottom line:" "We'll be bestest friends foreverest if you just keep your face out of my face." "Uh-huh." "She's my patient!" "Hey guys, how are you?" "I'm great!" "You know me, I'm up, up, up, up, up, and then some fashion nazi on the E!" "Network says that pear-shaped people shouldn't wear stripes, and whoosh, guess who's ear-deep in mint-chocolate chip ice cream." "Meheehee." "You know, if you leave it on the counter for an hour, you can just drink it like a milkshake." "Except, watch out -- if that block's not totally melted, hits you in the face!" "Oh, that'd go everywhere." "Yeah, one time I got Chunky Monkey in my eye." "What brings Ms. Tracy to us?" "Oh, uh, her landlord found her passed out on her floor." "Yeah, lucky me, I couldn't pay my rent this month." "A recent study found that doctors spend an average of fifteen seconds listening to a patient." "It sounds insensitive, but the truth is it's all the time you need." "So, how you feel?" "Awesome!" "Ms. Tracy..." "Headachy, nauseous, and embarrassed that my landlord saw me in my granny panties." "Oh, dear." "We're gonna run some tests and figure this out." "I'll be here!" "..." "If you...." "Ow!" "Sorry!" "I--if that gets infected, I'm a doctor!" "Look, you keep going to the right, so this time aim at that guy to the left, and you'll hit the board." "Those two are like best friends now, huh?" "I know." "I wonder what it was that made them so tight?" "Elliot!" "What are you doing here?" "I'm, uh, just meeting some friends here for drinks." "Yes!" "Me too!" "Friends." "Hey." "PONCH!" "Damn." "I still got it." "Wait a second, dude, wa--that was us." "I know." "Greatest night ever!" "Yes, Enid, I hear Baxter growling, but the fact is you ventured into his side of the house. ..." "Baring his teeth, huh?" "..." "Okay, now here's what you do. ..." "Are you ready?" "..." "Make a sudden move!" "Ahhh, those two!" "Sir, we've got some complaints that the new discount stethoscopes you ordered are uncomfortably tight." "I contacted the manufacturer, but apparently he's decided to focus more on his hand-made smoking paraphernalia." "Nonsense!" "These are fine!" "Are you okay Dr. Kelso?" "Sweet dancing Jehovah!" "I've punctured my brain!" "Boy, oh boy, that's some rock." "When, uh, when's the big day?" "Oh, me?" "No, no, never -- my fiancé dumped me." "I'm just noticing how beautiful his mother's ring is." "You know, compared to the fake one I sent back to him." "Oops!" "Ms. Tracy, we found some organophosphates in your system." "Have you had any recent exposure to pesticides?" "Pesticides?" "No, I don't have any pest problems." "Oh, God, that must be so nice!" "They're just feelings; they'll heal." "Don't worry." "We're on top of this." "Oh ..." "Bye." "Hey!" "Hey...hey." "Jordan just said we should all go to the carnival tonight." "The carnival!" "?" "Oh, I can't go to the carnival, Danni." "I puke at carnivals...a lot." "You don't really puke at carnivals, do you." "I do." "But I still love 'em!" "Look, I have an even dandier idea:" "Why don't you crazy kids do something on your own?" "Look, Perry, the fact is I'm Jordan's sister, so as long as I'm staying in town you're gonna be seeing a lot of these smiling faces." "Smile." "So, I waxed my legs at home last night." "Yeah, how did that go?" "Not great, I can't do it." "I'd rather die hairy." "Oh, Mrs. Cainings needs something to help her sleep." "Give her Haloperidol." "Haloperidol won't put her to sleep." "Give her a Benzo, it'll knock her right out." "Yeah, but, sometimes with Benzos older people can have a bad reaction." "Elliot, have I ever steered you wrong?" "Who suggested this?" "Ohhhh!" "..." "Smooth!" "Benzo it is." "Hey, wait!" "What about this one?" "Dude, my broccoli is hot." "Please tell me you mean temperature-wise -- because there is no way you can find broccoli sexy." "Oh...yeah...temperature-wise.... ...And mini green boobs-wise!" "What's up!" "Sir, I wanted to talk to you about that hernia seminar this weekend?" "Okay, sure, we can totally talk later!" "Hey, Dr. Kelso." "Hey." "Dr. Kelso." "Uh, I don't know if you heard or not, but Bernice, the lady who does the PA announcements usually, she just got hit by a bus, and, um, I was on the speech team in high school..." "...so, anyway, I was thinking that maybe from now on," "I could do the announcements." "You know, just until Bernice gets back on her...foot." "Splendid!" "Dr. Cox seems to be having fun...but I think I know why." "Ohh, ooh!" "Whack a newbie!" "Whack a newbie!" "Whack a newbie!" "Ohh!" "Ohhh!" "Missed me!" "Ha!" "Ha!" "Whack a newbie!" "Ohh, there you are!" "Ohh, there you are!" "Oh, come here!" "Ohh!" "Ohhhhhhhh, whack a newbie!" "Whack a" "Perry." "It's over." "Sorry." "So, we're gonna go eat some more disgusting fried food and then look at the fat lady to make ourselves feel better." "So, we'll meet you guys on the Ferris wheel." "Only if your stomach's okay." "Oh, yeah, it's only the back-and-forthy rides that get me." "Well, you have done it." "It's Friday night, and instead of being at home, drinking whiskey through my son's sippy cup," "I'm actually at a carnival with you, surrounded by piles of manure even though I've yet to see a single animal!" "That __is__ weird...." "Uh-huh." "I'll tell you what, how 'bout we head right on over there, and if you can raise that hammer above your head with those chicken bones you call arms," "I'll let you take a free whack at my dome." "First of all, I already raised the hammer;" "and the only reason I didn't ring the bell is that the game is obviously rigged." "Woo-hoo!" "Good job, son!" "Uh-huh." "Look, the only positive thing about this whole situation is that it's driving you crazy and there's nothing you can do about it." "Way to go, Gina!" "Oh, come on!" "Dr. Tushy, you're needed in the OR." "Nice name, buddy." "Beat up in high school much?" "Oh--It's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay!" "What's going on!" "?" "!" "She's having a reaction to the Benzo." "There are a lot of different ways to get the upper hand in a relationship." "Oh, I gave the guy half a corn-dog so we can all ride foursies!" "Ohhhhhhohhhhh." "Oh, let's go." "Corn-dog!" "It can happen with a simple request..." "COULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AT MY EARS?" "...it can happen because of a mistake..." "Mrs. Cainings is stabilized, so DC the posey vest." "That's never happened to me before with the Benzo." "I still think" "What do you think, Carla?" "Did you think that maybe I'm the doctor?" "'Cause that's what I think." "So maybe you should just DC the vest like I asked, and keep your opinion to yourself." "Still, even when you have the upper hand, it's important to be careful." "Because some people fight dirty." "You know, Danni, I think it's amazing that you're actually comfortable dating J.D., what with him having nailed Jordan and all." "Uh, sorry, folks." "A little problem here." "Get you down in about an hour or so." "I don't feel so good." "Sometimes the best thing to do is just to say exactly what's in your heart." "I'm sorry I puked on your shoes." "I'm sorry I wore sandals." "And, Danni, that whole thing with Jordan... it's so long ago, I don't even remember it." "J.D., you keep a sex journal of all your experiences under your bed." "Gotta stop showing that to new girlfriends!" "Look, you shoulda told me." "But I'm not gonna let things like this mess it up with the guy I'm falling in love with." "Oh, thank God!" "Do you wanna get some pineapple pizza?" "I think I'll probably just go inside and wash my feet." "That's robot for "Goodnight."" ""Peace!" Heh." "All right, people, listen up:" "Dr. Kelso has ruptured both his eardrums." "You could say whatever you want to him as long as you got a smile on your face!" "HOLLA!" "Bob!" "You stupid motherf" "Thanks for the kind words, gang!" "Yes?" "Carla, look, I just wanted to apologize." "I'm so glad!" "I didn't want us to stay mad at each other!" "It's all my fault!" "I should never have listened to you in the first place." "I mean, I need to be a strong enough doctor to just ignore you when you won't shut up." "That's so sweet." "All available medical personnel, please report to the second floor for a cat fight." "Cat fight on the second floor!" "Well, we sent some haz-mat guys over to your apartment, but they said there were no signs of pesticides." "They also said you mixed art deco with Indonesian antiques." "I think that is so daring!" "Aww." "Reel it in, Queer Eye." "Thanks, guys." "Honestly, I can't remember the last time anyone was this nice to me." "Well, you know...." "We gotta go." "Hey, you should know your little cheap shot didn't land, because Danni isn't mad at me at all." "Hey, Baby!" "You comin' to give pop-pop some candy?" "'Cause I'm hungry!" "Oh--okay, later's fine too." "Oh, yeah." "I mean, I can--I can feel the love all over!" "Can you believe that Elliot, giving me all that attitude?" "You know, two weeks ago an O.R. nurse with like twenty years experience started telling me I was tying the wrong suture." "But I bet you listened to her, right?" "Nah, I kicked her ass out the O.R.!" "Heh!" "But I bet you were nice about it?" "Right?" "No, I made her cry." "The point is, baby, whatever happens with this patient, it's on my shoulders;" "and it's the same with Elliot and you know that." "That's what makes your relationship so complicated." "Outside this hospital, yeah, you're the boss of Elliot...and... well, you know...you're the boss of me and... baby, you're the boss of everyone -- but in this building, Elliot's in charge." "Am I really the boss of everybody outside of here?" "Baby, you the boss of everybody in the world." "Okay." "Dr. Dorian, Dr. Turk is free for his rectal exam." "He said you'd know what that means." "Dear Dr. Cox, I think it's important that you know how much I care for Danni, and how hurt I was by your attempt to sabotage our relationship." "Oh, de-de-de--isn't it enough that I'm reading it!" "?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Always fun to be in the bathroom listening to people talk so clearly, you're sure they just heard you pee." "You did, didn't you." "You start and stop a lot." "Lovely." "Here." "Uh, actually there's great news, uh, Ms. Tracy:" "We're sending you home." "Although, I sure wish we could have figured out how that stuff got introduced into your system to begin with." "But sometimes in medicine you have to just chalk it up to life's great mysteries, like crop circles or this gal's Adam's apple." "I'm a girl, that's original." "Hey, you guys, I just want to say, if I don't see you again, thanks and take care." "You be well, darlin'." "I'll see you next time." "Wanna hear a great letter?" "No." "Hey, everybody." "This place has dynamite lamb." "What are you doing here?" "I called him." "Lookit, after shooting my mouth off the other night I've been feeling a lot of...well...." "Guilt." "No." "Not that." "Guilt?" "Yes, that." "Ugh." "I..." "I don't like her to be right." "Look, Danni, I know you're upset about your sister and I" "J.D., if I didn't go out with the guys my sister slept with, I wouldn't have even had a date to the prom." "Then what is it?" "Last night I told you I was falling in love with you." "And you know what you said?" ""Thank you"?" "You asked me if I wanted to go get pizza." "No.... _Pineapple_ pizza." "Sweetie, you can't take this personally." "He's a doctor -- they don't listen to anyone." "Please don't lump us all together with numb-nuts over here." "Oh, really?" "This morning I asked you to do me a favor involving my mother." "What was it?" "Well..." "I can only hope that it had something to do with hiring people to kill her?" "Oh, come on." "You know what?" "I hope you guys listen better to your patients." "And for some reason, right then, we both knew how those pesticides had gotten in our patient's system." "Lucky for me, I couldn't pay my rent this month." "Say, that's some rock." "When's the big day?" "Oh, me?" "No, no, never -- my fiancé dumped me." "I honestly can't remember the last time anyone was this nice to me." "Hey, you guys, I just want to say, if I don't see you again, thanks and take care." "She did it to herself." "We gotta go." "I guess the problem with only listening to a patient for fifteen seconds is, sometimes you don't hear everything... and when you finally realize what they were trying to say, you might've lost them forever." "Ms. Tracy." "Hey, guys!" "We need to talk." "About what?" "How _have_ things been going lately?" "Okay?" "Why, uh" "Ahhh." "Actually it has, uh, been a couple of rough months." "Come on, Jill." "Come on." "You can never underestimate the importance of listening." "A quick note for all my comatose listeners out there:" "all your lovers have moved on." "But, if it's any consolation, my sources tell me they're happy." "Well, snooze, you lose." "In other news" "Get off that thing." "Listening can effect your career." "There you are, you deaf bastard!" "I hate you so much, every time you utter my name," "I wanna stick my fist all the way down your throat and watch you slowly choke on it!" "Ted, I can hear now." "Who's Ted?" "Listening can even mend a friendship." "Carla, could you go get--- You know what, forget it." "No, doctor, just tell me what you need." "I'll do it." "Just give him one gram of Ancef for prophylaxis." "Ultimately, it keeps you in the moment... so you don't miss the things that really matter." "So say it again." "No, you have to earn it." "I'll try." "Oh, for God's sake, we're watching a movie here." "Shh!" "Kill me."