"JACKIE:" "Previously on Nurse Jackie..." "I'm a drug addict." "I'm around drugs for 60 hours a week." "Come on." "If I'd gone home, I would have ground it and snorted it before I got through the front door." "(SIGHS)" "Promise me you're not gonna fire her." "I promise." "Gloria and Eddie were fired last night." "Fuck." "Cruz?" "You want to fire me?" "Go ahead." "Nobody's looking." "I don't need to fire you." "You're a drug addict." "Only a matter of time before you fuck up again." "I told you I wanted to go to public school." "I wasn't kidding." "You have a donor!" "And he went to my camp!" "Are you okay?" "You're wheezing." "It's asthma." "Thor!" "Will you escort Dr. Cruz up to pulmonary?" "And if he faints, will you please carry him?" "Start by calling the agency." "I want six nurses, one in admitting, five on the floor." "Cruz won't authorize that." "Who the fuck is in charge of this place?" "I am." "I'm in charge." "Hey, hey, sweetheart!" "What the fuck?" "Dr. Cruz, you're awake." "Nobody told me I was sleeping." "Don't pull your leads out." "Let me get the doctor for you." "I am the doctor." "Yep, okay." "I'll be right there." "Be right where?" "The Jesus statue." "Temp nurses." "Oh, my God, two days in a row." "We'll get so much done." "That is the plan." "Can I do it?" "Can I do it, please?" "'Cause you got to do it yesterday." "Oh." "Okay." "Fine." "But do me a favor, Zoey, please?" "Try and be cool." "(BLOWS RASPBERRY)" "Like I need to try." "You will keep track of your patients with a notebook or a notepad, which you will keep on your person at all times." "Every two hours, whichever one of you types the fastest will enter everyone's information into the computer, so penmanship counts." "Also whoever does the typing gets a prize." "We don't need prizes." "You're in my world now, and in my world there's prizes." "Straight up." "MAN:" "Y'all better come back with some Jell-O." "Copy that." "There will be a meal-cart station at the end of the hallway." "If it's empty, just move it to the side and call down to the kitchen, 9385." "Godspeed and skedaddle." "MAN:" "Jell-O!" "Is lime okay?" "Oh, hell, no." "It never is." "You had a cardiac episode." "Yeah, well, I'm better now." "Wait." "How long have I been up here?" "You spent the night." "Fuck!" "I know the doctor wants to talk to you." "Tell him to make an appointment." "Sam, off your ass." "Replenish the kid's fluids in five." "Did it." "Did you write it down?" "Yep." "He gave it to me." "It's in the computer." "Then I don't need both of you on the keyboard." "Sam, check the gurneys in the hall." "On it." "What's next?" "Pediatric fever." "Down to 99." "And the dad?" "Definitely not freaking out." "Gave him a crossword and a Cup-a-Soup." "Family lounge." "Easy peasy." "How are we doing with the gurneys?" "Down by half." "You're kidding me." "Nope." "And the rest have meal trays." "Dude, you might be a genius." "Might be?" "Holy shit." "What?" "Somebody just thanked me." "As in, "Thank you."" "Where am I?" "Shit works." "(ELEVATOR DINGS)" "Hey, who's your friend?" "Janice." "Hey, Janet, how you doing?" "Who authorized this?" "Couldn't tell you." "Yeah, you could." "COOPER:" "So, O'Hara's baby daddy." "Robbie Plunkett." "He's not a baby daddy, he's an anonymous donor." "If you tell her who it is, she will never speak to you again." "(SIGHS)" "How does a guy iron a shirt while he's still in it?" "Makes total sense to me." "I used to smooth out my ties with a flat iron." "You had a flat iron?" "I was going for the spikey look." "Grr." "Robbie Plunkett, that's huge." "Six phone calls." "Boom, Robbie Plunkett." "Mystery solved." "Leave it alone, Coop." "I know, but it's bubbling up inside me." "You better get it out of your system before you see O'Hara." "Ah, Plunkett, Plunkett, Plunkett, Plunkett." "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck it." "You are unraveling, Coop." "No." "Stop." "Cruz." "What?" "Cruz." "Oh, fuck." "I got it." "Coop, don't." "Just..." "Where's he going?" "No place good." "Hey, you're wearing the same tie as yesterday." "Late night on the town?" "You authorize these nurses?" "I'm not authorized to authorize, unless I am and I didn't know." "You're not." "Check it out, though." "Beds and meds, floor is clear, admit's in a groove." "Hey, Peyton!" "Hey, listen closely, okay?" "Burns are the worst." "They're gonna change your dressing every six hours or so." "Make sure to ask for IV pain medication." "Sometimes they forget." "Hang in there, sweetie, okay?" "Oh, uh, get an ironing board." "Did I mention the charts are all up to date?" "You don't have to scream." "I'm standing right over here." "In my office now." "Isn't there something about going to a second location with a gunman, or..." "You want to do this here, right now?" "Sure." "Jacks." "No, it's all right." "Yeah, hotshot's got it." "She's fine." "Aren't you?" "I don't know." "You tell me." "Look around." "Shit's under control." "Yeah, under whose control?" "You know, does it really fucking matter?" "Yeah, it really fucking does." "Fine." "My control." "It's under my control." ""Jackie Peyton, RN."" "That's it." "That's the scope of your powers." "Can I have my badge, please?" "You're a nurse." "A totally replaceable, too-high-on-the-pay-scale nurse." "You think I give a shit that you got a union right now?" "'Cause I don't." "Don't do it, man." "Stay out of it." "Don't say another word, either of you." "He can't fire you, Jackie." "Doctors can't fire nurses." "As head of All Saints, I can fire whoever the hell I want." "Give me my badge back." "Oh, you know what?" "For the love of God, go fuck yourself!" "There you go." "That's what I was looking for." "Hey, put it in your scrapbook." "You're fired." "Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Cruz!" "Stop it, both of you." "Get her out of here." "(RHYTHMIC CLAPPING)" "Shut it down." "Take a look around, Mike." "I'm still in charge." "Come on, you." "Let's handle your scandal." "Shut it down!" "I hate that guy!" "I fucking hate him!" "He deserves every bad thing that ever happens to him." "You need to simmer down." "Everything was fine until I got sober." "How many times, huh?" "How many times did I tell you that?" "All right, you need to call your union rep immediately and your lawyer." "(BREATHING DEEPLY)" "What are you doing?" "Having a contraction while trying to talk you off the ledge." "Not easy." "Okay." "Number one, contractions in the eighth month, totally normal." "Just stay off your feet." "Number two, if I go out and get loaded, he wins." "Not gonna happen." "(EXHALES)" "I didn't want you to have to come back to the station." "That was really kind of you, Zoey." "What's this for?" "Your tears, sweetheart." "Dr. O'Hara can't afford a box of tissues." "You can't leave me." "Oh, honey, where am I going?" "We live together." "It's okay." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Hey, Joe, how you doing?" "Hey, Jackie." "Sorry about this." "MIKE:" "I don't want you riling shit up at the nurses' station." "You're gonna get a week before you come back for your exit interview." "Is that right?" "Yeah, that's exactly right." "Nice way to keep a promise to your kid." "What?" "She said, "Nice..." Yeah, I heard her." "Yeah, you heard me." "This is between you and me, so you can leave Charlie out of it." "He's got nothing to do with it." "You fuck with the bull, you get the horns." "And frankly, I don't give a shit what my kid wants." "That right there, that's the difference between you and me." "Hey, eighth grade science?" "Up the stairs, end of the hall." "Thanks." "Sorry, guys." "Sorry, Sister." "Grace, honey, come on." "Get your stuff." "I'm sorry, Mrs. Peyton." "We're in the middle of..." "Of frog stuff." "Yes, I see that." "(WHISPERS) Mom, you're totally embarrassing me." "I know, I'm sorry." "Let's get out of this place." "If you don't want to be here, you don't have to be here." "You can't just..." "Mrs. Peyton!" "Doing it." "Sorry." "Grace, sit back down." "Come on, Grace." "Sorry, Sister, you're fired." "That was amazing." "And it's something I should have done a long time ago." "And for that, I'm very sorry." "Wow." "I'm really out of there?" "Yes, you are really out of there." "Um, which makes two of us, because Mom got fired." "What?" "What did you do?" "Um..." "Well, I told my boss to go fuck himself, which you only do if you really, really, really mean it." "And if he really, really, really deserves it, which he did." "So... (BOTH LAUGH)" "Oops." "JACKIE:" "Oh, my heavens." "Excited?" "(LAUGHS)" "I know a bunch of the girls already." "Just so you know, some of them wear eyeliner, but not all of them, so don't be a freak." "Ah, honey, moms are freaks." "They can't help it." "Oh, crap." "I'm still in my uniform." "Ah, I know, honey." "Me, too." "When we get home, we'll put them on the grill and burn them." "Look at you in your jacket and your punky boots." "You look great." "Hi." "You ready?" "Thanks for waiting." "Gil Carruth." "Nice to meet you." "I'm Jackie Peyton." "This is Grace." "She'll be joining the eighth grade." "Hi." "Nice to meet you, young lady." "Her dad did all the paperwork." "I was supposed to call last week." "Okay, let's see..." "Eighth grade." "Um, we still need proof of address, then we can start her next week." "Okay, proof of address." "I have electric, water and cable." "She can start today." "Yeah, I quit my other school and I don't want to fall behind, so..." "I'm in the district." "Legally, you have to take me." "She's a smart kid." "Okay, then, a motivated eighth-grader." "All right, well, here we go." "Let's find you a homeroom." "(BOTH GIGGLE)" "I can take it from here." "Thanks." "(TYPING)" "Oops, let me get these." "I still have to pay them." "Oh." "Thank you." "Mom?" "Yeah?" "(LAUGHS)" "I know." "ALL:" "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can." "And the wisdom to know the difference." "Amen." "Hey, guys." "Hi." "I'm sorry." "I know you're winding up here, but my name is Jackie." "I'm a drug addict-alcoholic." "ALL:" "Hi, Jackie." "Um..." "I just got fired, I'm in the middle of a divorce," "I just put my kid in a new school." "I just..." "The wheels are kind of coming off the wagon." "I needed to check in and say hey." "Well, hey, and welcome." "A couple of us are going for coffee if you'd like to join us." "No, I'm good." "I'm gonna meet some friends at a bar." "Thanks." "(ALL MUMBLING)" "I'll call Lily Chung at Bellevue." "You'll have a job within a week." "Look at me, I'm breathing." "Look at me, I'm drinking." "Hey, barkeep?" "Barkeep?" "Did you say "barkeep"?" "I'm trying to go back in time." "To 1911?" "(LAUGHS)" "What'll it be, guys?" "Bourbon." "Beer." "I'll have a Shirley Temple." "Did I just say "Shirley Temple"?" "That was me?" "(CELL PHONE BUZZING)" "Text." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Me, too." "Zoey." "Zoey from the trenches." "Hey, where's mine?" "No way." "EDDIE:" "What the fuck are they doing?" "It's a candlelight vigil." "Oh, my God, they are such idiots." "Will you call them and tell them to knock it off?" "The place is full of oxygen." "Kaboom." "Kaboom." "(LAUGHING)" "Oh, my heavens." "Kaboom." "Kaboom." "Yes, kaboom." "Hypothermia on the way." "ETA 10 and counting." "Page O'Hara." "Anybody want to tell me what's going on?" "Thor?" "Um..." "Where there's smoke, there's fired." "That was nice." "Zoey?" "Hmm?" "Why are you stroking your belly?" "I don't know." "It looked soothing, I guess." "Why?" "Is it weird?" "No." "If you've just eaten an enormous meal and planning on taking a long winter's nap, not weird at all." "Are you tired of people touching your..." "You know?" "My stomach?" "Why, do you want to?" "I think it will make me feel better." "Well, he's sleeping, but go ahead." "(GASPS) Oh, my God." "That was like a head butt." "Ah. (LAUGHS)" "That wasn't him, that was me." "Like a contraction?" "(EXHALES)" "It wasn't because of me, was it?" "No, no, it's not 'cause of you." "I'm not going into labor." "Ooh." "It's a mini contraction." "It's completely normal." "Mmm, it didn't feel mini." "Yeah, not in front of company." "19-year-old female, fell off a tourist cruise." "Rescue fished her out of the Hudson." "LOC, hypothermic, pulse is weak and tachy." "How long was she exposed?" "Anyone's guess." "Shivering in the rig and then nothing." "Body temp?" "Too low to get a reading." "(GASPS)" "Oh, shit." "Like Heidi Klum says," "(IN GERMAN ACCENT) "In fashion, you are either in or you are out."" "Yeah, well, I'm out." "Um, call up ICU, tell them to start warming fluids." "500 cc's, 5% dextrose, 39 degrees Celsius." "Dr. Cooper?" "See how fast I can be here?" "Just saying." "Duly noted." "Hypothermic to the ICU." "Okay." "And, Coop?" "If you are half as bright as you are handsome, you'll have no trouble in finding out who the donor is." "Please don't." "I'm not that bright." "Cross your fingers I don't kill the patient." "(SOFTLY) Robbie Plunkett, over and out." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "What?" "(SIGHS)" "Think before you speak." "I know." "That's what I'm doing." "Looks like a passport." "Kind of it is." "It's a map to the people who work for you." "It has their birthdays, anniversaries, things that make them happy, things that make them sad, who cries when a patient dies, who makes a joke and then cries in private." "Things you should know." "Why are you giving me this?" "You expect us to be good at our job." "We expect the same of you." "A lot of drawings mixed in here." "Dazzle camouflage." "I can't just hand you the keys to the kingdom." "That would make me a traitor." "You want it, you gotta work for it." "Except for the look on Zoey's face." "That was a little rough." "The rest of it, a blaze of glory." "Shit!" "I wish I had been there to see it." "O'Hara dragging you off the floor." "(CELL PHONE BUZZING) Eight months pregnant in a pair of Uggs." "Oh, speak of the devil." "Hello, I'm sitting in a bar with Eddie and Gloria." "Hey." "(PANTING) I'm alone and I'm in labor and I'm afraid to move." "Okay, honey, stay calm." "First things first, did you call your doctor?" "She's on holiday." "I'm not due for another month." "I can't give birth here, Jackie." "I can't." "Anywhere but here!" "Anywhere on God's green Earth, but not here." "Okay, not in your office." "Right." "Eleanor, it's Gloria." "Listen to me." "All Saints has a first-rate maternity center." "I oversaw the remodel and the hiring of every single person in it." "I'm calling Dr. Beetle." "There's no one better for preterm deliveries." "Get your ass up there and demand the Panda Birthing Suite." "I spilled a bottle of holy water in it during the renovations." "It's where you want to be." "God, someone's got to get over here!" "I can't do this alone." "Okay, honey, stay where you are." "You're not gonna like this, but I'm gonna call Coop to help you get upstairs." "Oh, God!" "Like it or not, honey, he's a very good doctor." "And he's probably more prepared for this than you are." "All right, fine." "All right." "Yes." "Please call him." "Okay." "Come on, we'll take my bike." "Wait, wait, wait." "Can you stop by the house and pack a bag?" "Yes, of course." "Something ravishing, but comfortable." "Preferably nothing that stains." "Use your judgment." "Son of a bitch, her shoes are living better than I do." "All I want is a robe and some sweats." "Everything in here has sparkles and fucking fur." "Grab anything, I guess." "What about this?" "Is this a nightie?" "That's a ball gown." "It's comfortable." "Grab it." "Shoes, don't forget shoes." "You get the shoes." "I'm gonna get a toothbrush and some face stuff." "Here." "Jesus." "Uh, none of this shit is in English." "I can't speak..." "This could be hair removal, shoe polish." "No." "(MOANING)" "It's okay if you throw up in front of me." "No, it's not." "It's really not." "(GASPING)" "Contractions are two minutes apart." "My kitchen's still in boxes and my nursery's not set up for another two weeks." "What am I gonna do?" "(GASPING)" "I'll come stay with you, just till you get a night nurse." "I'll be your manny." "(EXHALES)" "No." "Oh, no." "I've got to do this on my own, Coop." "I really do." "Oh, God." "Anyway, there's no room." "I'm sleeping on a cot." "So I'll sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, like Camp Tonka Bear." "You can snuggle up with the baby on the cot." "It'll be very bondy, like the olden days." "(CELL PHONE BUZZES)" "Wait." "Hello?" "Yes, Jackie?" "Yes, he is." "Wait." "Wait, wait, wait." "Wait." "Cruz is gonna try and stop you." "Um, I'll send Coop." "All right." "Yeah." "Jackie's downstairs." "Can you bring her up?" "Am I being traded in?" "Not at all." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, God, it's a Jackie impersonator." "Can you go and get her and tell her she's got to come and sit by me until the real one gets here?" "Go, go!" "No, no, she went that way!" "Please." "Where's Cruz?" "He's in exam flushing an eye." "Keep him occupied." "O'Hara's in labor." "Walk quietly." "I recommend capezios or a tiptoe." "Jackie, it's amazing!" "Hurry up, she's dilated to eight!" "I heard that." "Where is she?" "(ELEVATOR DINGS)" "Nope." "Get your hands off me!" "Here, take this up to maternity." "Tell her I'll be there in a second." "I'm not going up there without you." "I told you to steer clear for a week." "You'd better calm yourself down before you keel over again, okay?" "I'm going up to maternity." "It's a free country." "You're not going anywhere." "Man, O'Hara's in labor." "I don't give a fuck." "Ambulance pulling up, overdose." "CPR, defib in the field, lost the pulse again." "I got it." "I want you out of here the minute that kid is born." "Understand?" "Come on, let's go!" "Come on, let's go." "Coop, you can't go up there." "You gotta go to trauma." "What are you talking about?" "He just said..." "Take this up to maternity." "I'll be there in a second." "What are you fucking..." "Do you ever fucking listen?" "Are you kidding me?" "Who do you think you are?" "You don't even work here and yet you're calling all the shots?" "Coop, trauma now." "Stay right there!" "Cooper, now!" "God damn it, doesn't anybody listen to..." "Come on, you're doing this with me." "(MACHINE BEEPING)" "We got it." "JACKIE:" "You did all that you could." "Get them out of here." "You've got a lot of fucking nerve." "I'm sorry." "Not you, him." "(MACHINE BEEPING RAPIDLY)" "(SUSTAINED BEEP)" "Charlie, honey." "Don't say his name." "It's not yours to say." "(SUSTAINED BEEP CONTINUES)" "Charlie?" "Charlie?" "Charlie?" "(SOBBING)" "Leave us alone." "Charlie." "(GROANS)" "(ELEVATOR DINGS)" "(BABY CRYING)" "He's beautiful." "You made it." "I made it." "Oh, my." "(COOS)" "I fucking made it." "(BLUES SONG PLAYING)"