"THE SAD SACK" "In the regiment, it's very useful to pass for stupid, but there are limits." "Life's great occasions, from baptism to burial are marked by great meals." "At Mme Blandin's, a great meal was imminent." "The tenderness between Georgette and Joseph was increased tenfold by the latter's impending departure for the army." "Jean Dubois d'Ombelles, Mme Blandin's nephew, was trading in his poet status for that of infantryman." "Hence the great meal." "Solange Blandin, Jean's cousin and, later, his fiancée." "Mme Blandin and her youngest daughter, Lily" "Lily liked his cousin's verses much more than her sister Solange." "To think we invited a colonel to watch us eat!" "It ruins my appetite." "The H hour." "Colonel Brochard, who commanded Jean and Joseph's future regiment, was never invited without Mme Fléchois." "By complete coincidence, naturally." "Lieutenant Daumel was looking for a fiancée, anyone's." "This boy's a complete fool!" "He has an excuse, colonel." "He's a poet." "I'd like to ask you for a small favor, Colonel..." "My nephew has a delicate constitution..." "Consequently... if you could find him a place in an office..." "I see!" "These young men don't like the army..." "These young men want to "goof off."" "It's benzine!" "Jean meanwhile was training the best he could in the hard profession of arms." "Excuse me, Madame... a slight headache..." "please allow me to retire." "Have you seen my hat?" "As for you, I'm giving your eight day notice." "You will leave tomorrow." "IN THE BARRACKS." "Until we find a better way, we have to recruit soldiers from the ranks of civilians." "A colorful note in the orderly life of the barracks:" "The arrival of the recruits." "The colonel hadn't forgotten his dinner at Mme Blandin's." "Which is why he had "especially recommended" Jean to lieutenant Daumel." "Here's my old boss." "He's a show-off who thinks he's God's gift to mankind." "Infantryman Muflot, the terror of the dorms, was planning to give rookie Jean Dubois d'Ombelles a proper welcome." "Corporal Bourrache, a kind of shock absorber placed between soldier and chief and destined to take all the blows." "Let go of me!" "Let me go or I'll tell my friend  lieutenant Daumel." "Here's the lieutenant!" "You'll give me four days!" "Hello, my dear friend!" "Corporal, teach this man how to show proper respect." "Military service and glory." "Hygiene." "BARBER" "Prophylaxis." "INFIRMARY" "Countryside maneuvers." "You have to practice walking with the mask on." "Put on your masks and come with me." "My compliments, dear Daumel." "Your company is in especially fine shape." "Bayonet drills." "Colonel, it's the poet." "Oh, yes... the idiot." "Suppose you're face to face with a vicious enemy." "If you don't kill him, he'll kill you." "Trying to get closer to Solange, the poet's fiancée, lieutenant Daumel had found for Georgette a job in the canteen." "The dorm's unsettling aroma!" "Evening intimacy!" "Muflot, wait at least until bed check before you go over the wall." "If they find your dummy, I'll be the one on detention again." "Unaware of the barracks custom," "Georgette innocently came to say goodnight to her dear Joseph." ""Corporal, count your men."" " Bed Check " "Disorderly dormitory!" "You get four days." "I ran right into a patrol." "I'd rather skip the birds tonight." "Here's the colonel!" "It's the colonel!" "Always the poet!" "Yes, colonel... the idiot." "As for the rascal over there, I'll make sure he gets his." "I don't tolerate hazing in my regiment." "You will be punished." "Idiot!" "Ah, you got me pinched!" "Wait!" "Let's have it out." "Muflot!" "Take your blanket and go straight down to detention!" "And the poet, colonel?" "He goes down too!" "No preferential treatment!" "I wonder what new problem is about to fall on my head." "Having understood the previous day's incidents," "Georgette went to warn Solange and Lily after the canteen closed." "At Lily's insistence, Solange had agreed to come to the camp to intercede for her fiancé, since ieutenant Daumel was on duty that night." "Tell the lieutenant that Mlle Blandin wishes to speak to him." "A soldier's sleep is deep." "A watchman's sleep is unfathomable." "I would like to see poor Jean..." "Would you refuse to help me out?" "I'm under strict orders..." "but what wouldn't I do for you...?" "A rose on a cell's wall." "Military prisons are much less unpleasant than I expected." "Arrangements are made with heaven." "With jailers too." "No!" "I'm too miserable." "I'd rather let myself starve to death." "Everything that's happened is your fault." "You don't know how to make yourself respected." "And my fiancée... with the lieutenant..." "That too is my fault perhaps?" "Leave Solange be!" "It's Lily who loves you." "That's not possible!" "No one can love me." "Deep down, all your friends are very nice." "You have to know how to handle them." "Even Muflot... if you have the knack." "Love lesson in a park." "Pastoral." "A poem in praise of your beauty, Philomena." "The fruit of my sleepless nights." "This poem in their hands!" "We are terribly compromised." "All good things must end." "Jean's captivity was almost up." "The important thing is less to be worthy than to convince others of our worth." "Most of our politicians are the living proof." "The Colonel forbids entry to the barracks to all women, without express authorization." "This rookie keeps making fun of me." "It's annoying!" "First I'll throw him in the shower and then I'll break his back." "Colonel?" "Muflot?" "Yes, colonel." "I'll tell him." "We need ten well-dressed men tonight for the colonel's party." "Eight to handle machinery and service, two for the artistic portion." "Kid, one of these days, I'll make cider with your Adam's apple." "Aside from the arrival of new recruits, the colonel's annual party was the barrack's principal distraction." "Mme Blandin, adorned with her two daughters, was helping the colonel host the evening." "This round's on me!" "Since you're so smart, Muflot, you'll light up the fireworks before the end of the show." "The highlight of the party was to be a short ballet danced by "faun" Jean and "sylph" Joseph." "Still mulling over his vengeance, Muflot was thinking of enhancing the ballet with an unexpected pyrotechnic interlude." "Hey, Joseph, you're on." "Try to come down before the end of the show." "This time, I've got you!" "Go tell the infirmary to prepare twelve beds." "I'll bring him back in twelve pieces." "Jean soaked the officers, drowned a 420 singer and broke the big box." "He's going to be in big trouble." "Drop it!" "I'll plead his case to the colonel." "The colonel will listen to me." "I don't trust this piece of paper." "A signed anonymous poem is a bit fishy." "Colonel, we should hurry and put an end to this scandal." "If I'm forced to crack down, the punishment will be too severe." "I'd rather turn a blind eye." "Venus harnessed to her chariot The god Mars, bound by love." "Venus is you, o Philomena!" "And Mars, colonel Brochard." "Arrest this man!" "Too bad." "Our liaison may become known." "But I won't give in to this kind of pressure." "Dear Solange, his case is very serious." "It would be weak not to punish him." "Who put this ruffian in this state?" "Oh, well, I'm not displeased." "It's the custom in certain quarters to sneer at the army  But you have to give us our due that sometimes we know how to make men." "Where the devil did they go?" "Epilogue." "Translation: rentboy for KG"