"LAURA:" "Previously on "Casual"..." "So I've been thinking, what if I bought out your half of the house?" "Why?" "Mae-yi and I are thinking ahead." "DREW:" "To the future." "Why didn't you say anything real?" "AUBREY:" "Look, you don't have to front." "We just want to get to know you." "LAURA:" "Someone has a friend crush." "VALERIE:" "She's just effortless." "LAURA:" "I'm sure she likes you too." "ALEX:" "Why don't I cook you up a proper feast?" " Alex." " Hey." "Hey." "I want you to meet my fiancée, Sarah." " Alex Cole." " JORDAN:" "You two know each other?" "Why is your ex-girlfriend at the house?" "ALEX:" "I don't know." "The last time I saw her, she broke into my apartment and stole all my lightbulbs." "Even the one in the fridge!" "[elevator dings] [light music]" "♪ ♪" "Good morning, Mr. Cole." "Alexis." " Mr. Cole?" " Uh-huh." "That sounds weird." "It's growing on me." "ALEX:" "So this is the bullpen." "Paul's right here." "Jordan's next door, if we need him." " Love the space." " Right?" "Yeah, great fêng shui." "You must be so productive." "Really turning a corner." "I kind of want to work here." "Maybe after graduation." "Good morning, Mr. Cole." "Alexis." "And I'm right here." "Alex, hi." "Why are you in my office?" "Did Jordan not talk to you?" "No, I just got in." "SARAH:" "Shit." "This is awkward." "What's going on?" "I'm overseeing the restructuring and Jordan thought since you're never here, it would be all right if I'd use this as my home base." "My office?" "No, that's not all right." " We should go." " No, stay here." "This is ridiculous." "Uh..." "I'm gonna go talk to Jordan." "You might want to put on some clothes first." "♪ ♪ [gasps]" "♪ ♪ [sighs]" "♪ ♪" "DREW:" "How are the teachers?" "They're fine." "Alex is better." "Alex is unstable." "Totally." "And now he's off his meds." "I'm kidding." "He's been off for years." "Good to know you're not lacking for male role models." "Aww." "Are you afraid I'm gonna become a stripper?" "The thought had crossed my mind." "Well, relax." "I won't be desperate to pay off student loans for at least four years." "Good." "With any luck, I'll be dead by then." "What did you want to talk about, anyway?" "Mae-yi, actually." "Oh." "Um, she's finishing medical school next year." "Graduation." "Are you gonna get her a gift, or just tuck a check into her card?" "Can you be serious for just one second?" "This conversation is so absurd." "[clears throat]" "She, uh, wants to time it out so that she can have a baby before she begins her residency, if possible." "Oh." "It's just, you know, something she cares about." "So I wanted to..." "let you know that there's a chance." "That I could have a new baby brother?" "Or sister." "Aww." "That's great." "I-I hope it happens for you." "Thank you." "And hey, nothing says "honeymoon"" "like a helpless, screaming infant." "♪ ♪ [elevator dings]" "♪ ♪" "Morning, Alexis." "My name's Fallon." "[sighs]" "Fucking cows?" "What?" "Hey, you coming to this 11:00?" "Kiel and Washburn." "Marketing." "Oh, right." "Yeah, I'll be there." "Okay." "Oh..." "We start at 9:00 a. m." "Just trying to set a good example for the newer employees." "Okay." "Thank you." "[line trilling]" " He knows." " VALERIE:" "What?" "Jordan." "He knows about me and Sarah." "Didn't you sort of expect this?" "Okay, yeah, maybe." "But not that he'd punish me." "He's created a hostile working environment." "VALERIE:" "What's he doing?" "Reminding me about meetings and calendar invites, telling me when to get to work." "That's pretty standard office stuff." "ALEX:" "No, Val, this is a power play." "He's trying to steal my company." "Okay, Alex." "Also, his wedding registry has a link for donating cows." "I mean, that's manipulative, right?" "Look at me." "I don't need gifts." "Just charity." "It's totally self-serving." "VALERIE:" "Okay, I'm hanging up now." "Wait." "[sighs]" "No phones in the examination room." "I know." "What if I needed it for moral support?" "Well, I see you changed your home address and emergency contact into." "Yeah, Drew and I are no longer living together, but it's fine." "It's better, actually." "More time for me, you know?" "You know." "Scoot down, please." "Any recent sexual activity?" "Uh, nothing regular." "Just a few things here and there." "DR. DESAI:" "Still on the Ocella?" "And condoms." "It's all very impersonal and exciting." "DR. DESAI:" "Hmm." "Have you considered something more permanent?" "Uh, like what?" "Well, there are a couple options." "Tubal ligation is the most popular." "You mean sterilization?" "I assume you've finished having children." "It would be a lot easier than taking a daily pill." "I think I'd like to keep my options open." "At your age there aren't that many options." "[chuckling] [laughing]" "Oh, gosh." "I'm sorry." "My husband rented the "Minions" movie." "Have you seen it?" "What?" "It's so funny." "They don't even talk, but they make these cute little noises." "You should see it." "Oh, goodness." "Okay." "Everything looks good here." "Thank you." "[cell phone chimes] [light music]" "♪ ♪" "♪ ♪" "AUBREY:" "Hi." "Hey." "What are you doing this weekend?" "AUBREY:" "Hanging out?" "I don't know." "Want to get fucked up?" " Why?" " Why not?" "Okay." "PAUL:" "Do you have mock-ups of the copy?" "Fourth page." "JORDAN:" "Nice." "I like the tagline." "I thought we were moving away from this." "From what?" "This looks like an eHarmony ad." "KIEL:" "EHarmony's the benchmark." "They fully monetized desperation." "Okay, fine, but we're selling something different, right?" "The anti-partnership." "The... the fun of the chase." "Our customers don't need to know that." "Oh, they don't?" "So long as they're satisfied with the experience, what does it matter, right?" "I think I'd want to know." "Okay." "Well, uh... ownership is all accounted for." "Let's put it to a vote." "Paul, what do you think of this direction?" "PAUL:" "I like it." "Let's try it out." "Good man." "Okay, so what are you thinking for the roll-out?" "KIEL:" "Uh, turn to page 10." "♪ ♪" "Would you ever think about freezing your eggs?" "I already did." "Graduation present from the parents." "Wow." "Smart." "I wanted a car." "I thought you didn't want kids." "Well, not now." "But I mean, I'll cave eventually." "You read that "New York Times" article, right?" "W-which one?" "You know, the one about the people who die alone in their apartments?" "And how it takes, like, months to find them." "And their bodies are all withered and gross." "Basically, dying alone is the ultimate indignity." "Worse than spending your life with someone you don't love?" "I don't know." "But what's really the worst is if you just have a cat." "Because when it runs out of food, it will literally eat your face." "Got it." "No cat." "ALEX:" "Those are expired." "Have you seen your mom?" "Nope." "My ex-girlfriend is marrying my new business partner." "Okay." "That's fucked up, right?" "Did he know you dated her?" "I don't know." "Did she tell him to buy your company?" "No idea." "Look, I haven't seen her in, like, 10 years." "I thought she was in a mental institution in Oklahoma." "Oklahoma?" "Or Arkansas." "I don't know." "Some state where they don't let you out." "You can go talk to her." "Grow down, will you?" "ALEX: [sighs]" "What'd you tell him?" " Huh?" " Jordan." "What'd you say about us?" "Uh, I didn't say anything to Jordan." "Sure you didn't." "Well, I thought I'd spare him the gory details." "You mean your descent into madness?" "Yes, Alex, sure." "I mean, stealing lightbulbs?" "That's some Van Gogh level stuff." "I'm surprised you didn't send me an ear." "You used to appreciate originality." "It's a fine line." "Let's not do this, okay?" "I'm with someone I love." "The person you love is trying to take over my company." " No, he's not." " You would say that." "Listen, whatever it is you told him..." "I only told him what he needed to know, okay?" "Will you just buy a chair or something?" "I'll sell it to you at cost." "I don't need a chair." "Okay." "What, you don't like my furniture?" "It's a little unfocused." "No, it isn't." "My furniture is... has personality and character and charm and your chairs are cold a-and plastic and obvious!" "And why the fuck am I still talking to you?" "♪ ♪" " Dude." " What?" "It's 11:30." "Jesus, man." "Maybe I don't like coming in at 9:00, okay?" "Maybe I think it's a holdover from when children worked 16 hours a day at the smelting mill." "Okay, man, what's going on with you?" "You've been on my ass all week and it's getting really fucking tired." " Seriously?" " Yeah, seriously." "And I know Sarah told you some big fucking story about us, but it doesn't mean you have to treat me like a leper." "Okay, yeah." "Sarah told me you dated and all she said was that you had a nice relationship until some stuff went down with your family." "Wait, what?" "But you know what, Alex?" "I don't care." "Okay?" "I knew your reputation before I came on board and it didn't stop me." "What reputation?" "[chuckles] Come on, man." "You can't be that naive." "Are we cool?" "We're business partners." "Let's just shoot for, uh, civil." "We still on for later?" "[sighs] Town's dry." "I could probably steal a bottle from my mom." "She won't miss it." "I was actually hoping for something stronger." "Fuck off." "I'll get a bottle of wine and meet you at your place." "Pick a stupid movie, order dinner." "Okay." "Can't find drugs in L. A.?" "Why don't you ask..." "I don't know... literally anyone?" "Like who?" "You?" "[sighs] I mean..." "Look at that." "You're a traveling pharmacy." "Yeah, one-stop shop." "So if I wanted to turn my brain off and just feel warm?" "You would eat half of this." "Cool." "What do I owe you?" "On the house." "Curious, but okay." " It's kind of a cliché, right?" " Huh?" "The only black kid in group with the drugs?" "[chuckles]" "Says the basic white girl trying to buy them." "♪ ♪" "Valerie Myers?" "♪ ♪" "We offer two services:" "The freezing of eggs and fertilized embryos." "Now, you are currently without a partner?" "Yes." "It's just me." "California Cryo Preserve has a list of potential donors online." "You can read personal essays, see childhood photographs..." "Right, and if I want to just freeze eggs?" "You could try." "The technology has improved, but it's certainly nowhere near the success rate for fertilized embryos." "Also, embryos are less expensive." "So I'm penalized for being single?" "I don't set the rates." "♪ ♪" "[light rock music]" "♪ ♪ [doorbell rings]" "♪ ♪" "Looks like you found something." "[giggles]" "Oh, potential look-alikes:" "Johnny Depp," "Johnny Cash, Tommy Lee Jones." "Uh, those people look nothing alike." "Here's his baby picture." "VALERIE:" "Oh." " It's an albino." " [laughs]" "Uh..." " Next one." " No." "No." "No." "Mm, no." "This is just like Tinder." " Really?" " Yeah." "I wouldn't go home with any of these babies." "This is a cute baby." "And he's got a clean medical record and a master's degree." "VALERIE:" "Hmm." "Pull up his personal essay." ""In Defense of Social Darwinism and the Second Amendment."" "Oh, he was doing so well." "[gasps] Yes." "You are still here." "Hi." "One of my clients just had a breakdown." "Full on tears, wailing on the floor..." "Oh, no." "I just had to sit silently" " till the hour was up." " VALERIE:" "Ooh." "Can we go get a drink?" "Sure." "Okay." "Go home." "See your friends." "I've taken up too much of your time, Leia." "Oh... okay." "Uh... bye." "[TV playing indistinctly]" "AUBREY:" "Hey." "Hey." "You're crying." "What?" "Oh." " You okay?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "My dad wants to have another baby." "AUBREY: [laughs]" "I know." "It's so stupid." "What'd you say?" "Good luck." "[laughs] [laughing]" "Can I see him?" "What?" "I want to see him." "Okay." "[sighs] What a week." "Mm." "Tell me about it." "Mm." "Did you know it's more expensive to freeze your eggs than embryos?" "That it's actually cheaper to find some random sperm donor than hold out hope that you're gonna one day find your own person?" "Are you thinking about getting IVF?" " I was." " Wow." "Do you... you really want another kid?" " [laughs]" " I'm sorry." "I don't know." "I'm..." "I don't know." "I..." "I'm a good mom and Laura's going off to college soon and Alex is gonna..." "I don't know." "[phone chimes] Who knows what Alex is gonna do." "Excuse me." "I..." " Sorry." " Ooh." " Speak of the devil." " Mm-hmm." "Uh, hey." "I'm in Burbank." "Wh-what?" "Why?" "ALEX:" "You know why." "Alex, don't, okay?" "Whatever you're thinking, just stop." "Nothing good happens in Burbank." "If I don't come back, you know where to find me." "♪ ♪ [doorbell chimes]" "♪ ♪" "Alex." "Well, this is a pleasant surprise." "♪ ♪" "Nobody's home?" "Come on." "♪ ♪" "[garage door squeaking]" "I have an idea." "♪ ♪" "[laughter] [sighs] [laughing]" "♪ ♪" "Where's Mom?" "Well, you know how your mother is." "No, I don't." "That's why I asked." "She's, uh, on one of her tours." "It's Sting and, uh, I believe Peter Gabriel this time." "You just got married." "She's not under house arrest." "But look, I do want to tell you how pleased I am that you decided to come by." "You know, when a man starts to get on in years..." "What did you say to Sarah Finn?" " What?" " Sarah Finn, my old girlfriend." " You remember her." " Yeah, of course I do." "She was a lovely girl." "She was... very kind to you." "Yeah, she was." "Until she met you and Mom and disappeared off the face of the earth." "Well, you were unfaithful to her." "She knew?" "Yes, of course, she knew." "I told her." "What?" "Why?" "Why would you tell her that?" "Well, she had a right to know." "But you just didn't tell me?" "You let me believe, for all these years, she just lost her mind?" "You were emotionally unprepared for that relationship." "The whole thing was too much too fast and you were totally falling for her." "That's why you cheated." "Oh, my God." "Your mother and I just didn't want to see you make the same mistakes that your sister did." "Listen, I have some papers" "I'd really like you to take a look at." "My medical situation..." "Have you ever gone on a road trip?" "Just by yourself?" "Nope." " Really?" " Mm-mm." "Okay, what about camping?" "Just you, friends, great outdoors." "One time, but it was one night." "Drew couldn't sleep on the ground." "[laughter]" "Shit." "Okay." "Um, have you ever spent the whole day in your bed, just smoking pot and having sex?" "Missed that too." "[laughs]" "And you want to have a baby?" "I don't know." "It's just, if I'm gonna do it, now is the time." "No." "Now is the time for camping and road trips and stoned sex." "[laughs]" "Val, you spend your whole life taking care of other people, and I am sure that that feels familiar and comfortable, but... no." "Okay." "[giggles] [laughter]" "LAURA:" "Who's the god of relationships?" "Cupid?" "Sure." "To Cupid, god of relationships, accept our humble tribute." "May the twisted spokes and broken handlebars satisfy your thirst for blood." " Thirst for blood?" " Uh-huh." " Cupid loves blood." " Okay, then." "Also heartache, shame, agony..." "Why would Cupid like that stuff?" "'Cause if those things didn't exist, relationships would be easy and he'd be out of a job." "[crickets chirping]" "Are you ready?" "One, two, three." "[light music]" "♪ ♪" "♪ ♪" "[sighs]" "Mother." "Daughter." "I am so lucky to have you." "Um..." "Hmm?" "Hey." "I loved her." "I loved her and Dad drove her away." "Who?" "Sarah Finn." "MAN: ♪ Heaven ♪" "♪ I'm in heaven ♪" "♪ And the heart beats so that I can hardly speak ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ And I seem to find ♪" "♪ The happiness I seek ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ When we're out together dancing' cheek to cheek ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ Heaven ♪" "♪ I'm in heaven ♪" "♪ And the cares that hung around me through the week ♪" "♪ Seem to vanish like ♪" "♪ A gambler's lucky streak ♪" "♪ When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek ♪" "♪ Oh, I love to climb a mountain ♪" "♪ And reach the highest peak ♪" "♪ But it doesn't... ♪"