"Bonjour, Madame." "Bonjour, Monsieur Ryder." "In the Spring of 1925, I returned to Paris to the friends I had found there and the habits I had formed." "I thought I should hear no more of Brideshead but life has few separations as sharp as that." "Rex!" "Where is he, Charles?" "I came by this morning." "They told me where you usually lunched but I couldn't find you." "Have you got him?" "So he's given you the slip, too, has he?" "We got here last night and were going to go onto Zurich today." "I left him at the Lotti after dinner, as he said he was tired and went round to the Travelers for a game." "And when you came back you found he was gone?" "ot at all." "I wish I had." "o, he was waiting up for me." "I had a run of luck at the Travelers." "I cleaned up a packet." "Sebastian pinched the lot while I was asleep." "All he left me was two first class tickets to Zurich stuck in the edge of the looking glass." "There was close on three hundred quid, blast him!" "So now he may be anywhere?" "Anywhere." "You're not hiding him, by any chance?" "My dealings with that family are over." "I think mine are just beginning." "I've got a lot to talk to you about but I promised this chap" "I'd give him his revenge back at the Travelers." "Will you dine with me?" "Yes." "Where?" "I usually go to Cingaro's." "Why not Paillards?" "ever heard of it." "I'm paying, you know." "I know you are." "I'll order the dinner." "I see." "What's the name of that place again?" "I'll write it down for you." "It was not expensive to live in France then." "It was very seldom, however, that I had an opportunity for dinner like this, and if I had to spend an evening with Rex it should at any rate be in my own way." "Did you stay long at Brideshead after I left?" "Was my name mentioned much?" "Was it mentioned?" "I got sick of the sound of it, old boy." "The Marchioness got what she called a bad conscience about you." "She piled it on pretty thick, I gather, at your last meeting." "Callously wicked wantonly cruel"" "Ouch!" "Hard words." "It doesn't matter what people call you as long as they don't call you pigeon pie and eat you up." "What?" "It's a saying." "Ah." "I like a bit of onion with my caviar." "Chap who knew said it brought out the flavor." "Try it without first." "And tell me more news of myself." "Well, Greenacres, or whatever he was called The snooty Don" "Samgrass." "He came a cropper." "That was well received by all." "He was the blue-eyed boy for a day or two, after you left." "He was always being pushed down our throats." "So in the end Julia couldn't bear it anymore and gave him away." "That was the end of Samgrass." "I'll tell you one thing, Charles that Ma Marchmain hasn't let on to anyone." "She's a very sick woman." "Might peg out at any minute." "George Anstruthers saw her in the autumn and put it at two years." "What is this soup?" "It's sorrel." "I thought you'd find it interesting after the caviar." "Is that true?" "How do you know?" "It's the kind of thing I hear." "With the way her family are going on at the moment, I wouldn't give her a year." "I know just the man for her in Vienna but she wont do anything about it." "I suppose it has something to do with that crack brained religion of hers not to take the body seriously." "You know the food here isn't half bad." "Someone ought to take this place up and make something out of it." "I'll tell you another thing." "They're in for a jolt financially if they don't look out." "But I thought they were enormously rich." "They're rich in the way people are who just let their money sit quiet." "Everyone of that sort's a lot poorer than they were in 1914 and the Flyte's don't seem to realise it." "Look at the way they live." "I closed my mind to him as best I could and gave myself to the food before me." "But sentences came breaking in on my happiness recalling me to the harsh, acquisitive world which Rex inhabited." "Those were the kind of things he dealt with mortal illness, debt and greed." "Julia's just rising 20." "I don't want to wait till she's of age." "But I don't want to marry her without doing the thing properly nothing hole in the corner." "His theme was plain." "He wanted a woman he wanted the best on the market and he wanted her cheap." "I've got to the time when notoriety has done its bit, I need setting up solidly, you know." "St Margaret's Westminster or whatever the Catholics have." "Royalty, the Prime Minister being photographed going into the church." "So, as the Marchioness won't play ball" "I'm off to see the old man and square things with him." "I gather he's likely to agree to anything that will upset her." "He's at Monte Carlo at the moment." "I'd planned to go on there after dropping Sebastian off in Zurich." "That's why it's such a bloody bore having lost him." "Now brandy is one of the things I do know a bit about." "Now this colour is too pale and I can't taste it in this thimble." "Waiter!" "Garcon!" "Are you sure you won't join me?" "o thanks." "I'm quite happy with this." "Well, it's a crime to drink it if you don't really appreciate it." "The wedding was at the beginning of June." "I saw the notice in the continental Daily Mail and assumed that Rex had squared the old man" "But things did not go as expected." "o Royalty was present, nor was the Prime Minister nor were any of Julia's family." "It sounded like a hole in the corner affair but it was not for several years that I heard the full story." "It is time to speak of Julia who, till now has played an intermittent and somewhat enigmatic part in Sebastian's drama." "It was thus she appeared to me at this time." "And I to her." "But as Sebastian in his sharp decline seemed daily to fade and crumble, so much more did" "Julia stand out clear and firm." "When I first met her when she met me in the station yard and drove me home through the twilight that high summer of 1923 she was just eighteen and fresh from her first London season." "Some said it was the most brilliant season since the war and that things were getting into their stride again." "Through those halcyon weeks she darted and shone part of the sunshine between the trees part of the candle light in the mirror's spectrum." "She outshone by far all the girls of her age but she knew there were grave disabilities from which she suffered." "There was the scandal of her father that slight inherited stain upon her brightness that seemed deepened by something in her own way of life." "A waywardness and willfulness, a less disciplined habit than most of her contemporaries." "There was also her religion." "Wherever she turned, it seemed to stand between her and her natural goal." "But having been brought up a Catholic if she renounced her religion now, she would go to hell while Protestant girls of her acquaintance schooled in happy ignorance, could marry eldest sons live at peace with the world and get to heaven before her." "There could be no eldest son for Julia." "Perhaps in a family of three or four boys a Catholic might get the youngest without opposition, but younger sons who could not inherit, were indelicate things not to be much spoken of." "There were of course Catholics themselves but these came seldom into the little world" "Julia had made for herself." "What was there left?" "That was Julia's problem after her weeks of triumph in London." "I was not her man." "She told me as much without a word when she accepted the cigarette from my lips." "When Julia left Sebastian and me alone for that first summer at Brideshead she went to stay with an aunt, Lady Roscommon in her villa at Cap Ferrat." "There she pondered her problem." "She knew it was not insurmountable." "There must, she thought, be a number of people outside her own world who were well qualified to be drawn into it." "The shame was that she must seek them." "Rex Mottram and Brenda Champion were staying at the next villa on Cap Ferrat, taken that year by a newspaper magnate and frequented by politicians." "They would not normally have come within Lady Roscommon's ambit but, living so close, the parties mingled and at once Rex began warily to pay his court." "Rex's age was greatly in his favour for among Julia's friends, young men were held to be gauche and pimply." "His seniors thought him a pushful young cad but Julia recognized the unmistakable chic the flavor of the Prince of Wales the Big Table in the Sporting Club the second magnum and the fourth cigar of the chauffeur kept waiting hour after hour without compunction" "which her friends would envy." "His social position had an air of mystery, even of crime about it." "People said Rex went about armed and certainly the fact of his being Brenda Champion's property sharpened Julia's appetite." "All that summer he had been feeling restless." "Mrs. Champion had proved a dead end." "It had all been intensely exciting at first but now the bonds began to chafe." "Rex demanded a wider horizon." "He wanted to consolidate his gains." "It was time he married." "There was little Rex could do at Cap Ferrat except establish a friendship which could be widened later." "He was never entirely alone with Julia but he saw to it that she was included in most things they did." "And that was enough to make Lady Roscommon write to Lady Marchmain and Mrs. Champion move him sooner than they had planned to Antibes." "But in the comparative freedom of London" "Rex became abject to Julia." "He planned his life about hers going where he would meet her ingratiating himself with those who could report well of him to her." "He was always ready in his Hispano Suiza to drive her wherever she wanted to go." "And all the time he never once made love to her." "By that time, at Brideshead, between Christmas and Easter he had become indispensable." "And then, without in the least expecting it, she found herself in love." "This disturbing and unsought revelation came to her one evening in May, when Rex had told her he would be busy in the Commons." "Driving by chance down Charles Street she saw him leaving what she knew to be" "Brenda Champion's house." "Yes, my lady?" "Wilcox, I'm starving." "Will you bring me some bread and milk?" "Bread and milk." "Is that all, my lady?" "Yes." "Oh, and, Wilcox when Mr Mottram telephones in the morning whatever time it is, say I'm not to be disturbed." "Very good, my lady." "I'm shopping with her ladyship this afternoon so will you tell Lady Roscommon" "I won't be there till teatime." "Oh, and Beddoes, tell Wilcox I'm motoring to the Chasms on Friday so I'll need the car." "Did Mr Mottram ring up by any chance?" "Oh yes, my lady." "Four times." "Shall I put him through when he rings up again?" "Yes." "o." "Tell him I'm out." "Mr Mottram is waiting, my lady." "I've shown him into the library." "Oh Mummy, I cant be bothered with him." "Do tell him to go away." "Thank you Wilcox." "That's not at all kind, Julia." "I've often said he's not my favorite among your friends but I have grown quite used to him almost to like him." "You really cannot take people up and drop them just like that." "Particularly people like Mr Mottram." "Oh Mummy, must I see him?" "There'll be a terrible scene if I do." "onsense, Julia, you twist that poor man round your finger." "Have you been waiting long?" "I had to have lunch with mummy." "She wanted me to go shopping with her." "How was the House last night?" "Best described as dull." "Did you sit late?" "I was home by half past one." "Why didn't you answer my calls?" "What time did you get there?" "About eight o'clock." "Maybe a bit later." "I had somewhere to go first." "Oh" "And where was that?" "Julia" "It's finished." "What is?" "You know very well." "She wanted me to tell her face to face." "I don't give a damn about Brenda Champion and I don't give a damn if you see her." "You can do just what you like." "Can I?" "Can I?" "I'll never see her again if that's what you want." "So Julia came out of the library an hour later engaged to be married." "I warned you this would happen if I went in there." "You did nothing of the kind." "You merely said there might be a scene." "I never conceived of a scene of this kind." "Anyway, you do like him, Mummy you said so." "He has been very nice in a number of ways" "I consider him entirely unsuitable as your husband." "So will everyone." "Damn everyone." "We know nothing about him." "Darling, the whole thing is impossible." "I can't see how you can have been so foolish." "Well, what right have I got otherwise to be angry with him if he goes with that horrible old woman?" "You make a great thing about rescuing fallen women." "Well, I'm rescuing a fallen man for a change." "I'm saving Rex from mortal sin." "Don't be irreverent, Julia." "Well, isn't it a mortal sin to sleep with Brenda Champion?" "Or indecent." "He's promised never to see her again." "I couldn't ask him to do that unless I admitted I was in love with him, could I?" "Mrs. Champion's morals, thank God, are not my business." "Your happiness is." "If you must know, I think Mr Mottram a kind and useful friend, but I wouldn't trust him an inch and I'm sure he'll have very unpleasant children." "They always revert." "I've no doubt you'll regret the whole business in a few days." "Meanwhile nothing is to be done. o one must be told anything or even allowed to suspect." "You must stop lunching with him." "You may see him here of course, but nowhere in public." "You had better send him to me and I will have a little talk to him about it." "Thus began a year's secret engagement for Julia a time of great stress, for Rex made love to her that afternoon for the first time, not as it had happened to her once or twice before with sentimental and uncertain boys" "but with a passion that disclosed the corner of something like it in her." "Their passion frightened her and she came back from the confessional one day determined to put an end to it." "When I went to Confession at school" "I used to make up stories about my sins because they seemed so dull." "Once I was in there for an hour and a quarter." "The rest of the class were kneeling outside waiting their turn." "Sister Goddard was furious." "We all missed going swimming." "But she couldn't ask me what I had said." "It's sacred, you see." "Today it only took five minutes." "What did they give you?" "Three Hail Mary's." "And a clean slate?" "That sounds very attractive to me." "It's not really clean, though." "To be forgiven you have to have a good intention" "Julia." "You always have the best intentions." "That's the point, Rex." "It can't go on like this." "Otherwise I must stop seeing you." "I have no desire to make you unhappy." "I know that." "I don't want to be unhappy." "I can't help it." "either can I." "Hello Wilcox." "Good afternoon, sir." "Are you well?" "Very well, thank you sir." "For six weeks they remained at arm's length kissing when they met and parted sitting meantime at a distance, talking of what they would do and where they would live and of Rex's chances of an under-secretaryship." "Julia was content, deep in love, living in the future." "Then, just before the end of the session she learned that Rex had been staying the weekend with a stockbroker in Sunningdale and that Mrs. Champion had been there too." "How was the constituency?" "How do you mean?" "The weekend." "You said you had a meeting at your constituency." "As a matter of fact, plans were changed." "I got trapped into a weekend with Teddy Behrens down in Sunningdale." "Bankers and stockbrokers, Julia." "ot your style." "You'd have hated it." "How was your weekend?" "I missed you a lot." "Did Brenda Champion hate her weekend too?" "I don't know." "I barely spoke with her." "It was quite a crowd." "Teddy had a house full." "I see." "What an extraordinary coincidence." "You must have been pleasantly surprised." "o." "o, I was surprised to find her there." "I had no idea that she knew Teddy that well." "Rex, please don't lie to me." "Julia" "Sometimes I find you very hard to understand." "What the hell do you expect?" "Don't you ever try to see it my way?" "Now, what right have you to ask so much when you give so little?" "I'll telephone you later." "But surely Father, it can't be wrong to commit a small sin myself in order to keep him from a far worse one?" "The Church would regard, Lady Julia, that you would have committed a mortal sin, not a small one." "A mortal sin and that the behavior of the gentleman in other circumstances would in no way alter or lessen your degree of sin." "I would like to be able to say what you would like to hear but I cannot." "It is my duty to tell you the Church's view." "And to remind you that Our Lord understands your tribulations and loves you all the more for striving against them." "Now I think it's time to hear your confession." "o, thank you." "I don't think I want to today." "Goodbye, Father." "From that moment, she shut her mind against her religion." "That Christmas Julia had refused to take Holy Communion and Lady Marchmain found herself betrayed first by me, then by Mr Samgrass in the first grey days of 1925." "She decided to act." "She forbade all talk of an engagement she forbade Julia and Rex ever to meet." "It was characteristic that even in this crisis she did not think it unreasonable to put Sebastian in Rex's charge on the journey to Dr. Borethus." "And Rex, having failed her in that matter went on to Lord Marchmain in Monte Carlo where he completed her rout." "You say my brother's lost?" "Do you mean literally?" "How very odd." "That's right." "Vanished into thin air along with three hundred quid that he took to help him on his way." "We shall reimburse you at once, of course." "o need for that, Bridey." "Are you sure you can't find him again?" "I understood you knew how to go about this sort of thing?" "This time it may be difficult." "Alcoholics develop great cunning." "Yes I can see that." "This will come as a very great worry for my mother." "It's a bad time for her." "You know she intends to take Julia abroad with her almost immediately." "I don't think that will happen, Bridey." "I don't understand you." "My mother plans to take Julia away for most of the winter." "I'm, afraid she feels that it's time that your associations with Julia came to an end." "Julia and I are getting married." "I don't think that's possible." "It's hardly likely that my mother will change her views." "Bridey, I've talked with your father." "I saw him in Monte Carlo." "And I have his written consent." "You know he seemed delighted with the whole idea." "Rex gave himself to the preparations with gusto." "He bought her a ring not, as she expected, from a tray at Cartier but in a back room in Hatton Garden from a man who brought the stones out of the safe in little bags and displayed them on a writing desk." "She was daily surprised by the things Rex knew and the things he did not know." "Both, at the time added to his attraction." "There was trouble about the marriage settlement with which Julia refused to interest herself." "I don't care what Bridey says, I'm not settling up my capital." "And what the hell do I want with trustee stock?" "I don't know darling." "The lawyers were in despair." "Rex absolutely refused to settle any capital." "You see, I make money work for me." "I expect fifteen or twenty per cent and I get it." "It's pure waste tying up capital at three and a half." "I'm sure it is, darling." "I mean, these fellows act as though I were trying to rob you." "They're the ones who do all the robbing." "They want to rob you of two thirds of the income I can make you." "Does it matter, Rex?" "We've got heaps, haven't we?" "There's another thing your damn fool brother can't get into his head." "I want a decent wedding." "I went to the Bourbon-Parma wedding in Madrid." "That's the sort of thing I want for you." "It's one thing your Church can do, put on a good show." "You never saw anything to equal those Cardinals." "How many do you have here in England?" "Only one, darling." "One?" "Can we hire some others from abroad?" "Well Rex, a mixed marriage is usually conducted very quietly no splash." "How do you mean mixed?" "I'm not a nigger or anything." "o, darling, between a Catholic and a Protestant." "If that's all, it's soon unmixed." "I'll become a Catholic." "How does one go about it?" "Belgrave Square, please." "Lady Marchmain was dismayed and perplexed by this new development." "It brought back memories of her own courtship and another conversion." "Rex" "I wonder if you realise how big a thing you are taking on in the Faith." "It would be a very wicked step to take without believing sincerely." "Lady Marchmain" "I don't pretend to be a very devout man and I am not much of a theologian but I do know it's a bad plan to have two religions in one house." "And a man does need a religion." "If you church is good enough for Julia then it's good enough for me." "Very well." "I will see about having you instructed." "Lady Marchmain, I haven't time." "Instruction will be wasted on me." "Just give me the form and I'll sign on the dotted line." "It usually takes some months often a lifetime." "Well, I'm a quick learner, try me." "So Rex was sent to Farm Street." "To Father Mowbray, a priest, renowned for his triumphs with obdurate catechumens." "Of course, you will know in a general way what is meant by prayer and the power of prayer." "Now I'd like you to tell me what you yourself mean by prayer." "Well, I don't mean anything." "You tell me." "Well" "Through prayer, every man be he the most humble or the most exalted is able to feel some sort of communion with God the Father to ask His forgiveness and to beg for his mercy." "Right." "Right, so much for prayer." "What's the next thing?" "Well, would you say Our Lord has more than one nature?" "Just as many as you say, Father." "Let me try another question." "Supposing" "Supposing the Pope looked up and saw a cloud and said It's going to rain Would that be bound to happen?" "Oh yes, Father." "But supposing it didn't?" "Supposing there was no rain?" "I suppose it would be sort of raining spiritually." "Only we were too sinful to see it." "He's the most difficult convert I've ever met." "Oh dear, I thought he was going to make it so easy." "I can't get anywhere near him." "He doesn't seem to have the least intellectual curiosity or natural piety." "In fact, he doesn't even correspond to any degree of paganism known to the missionaries." "Julia" "Are you sure Rex isn't doing this thing purely with the idea of pleasing us?" "I don't think it enters his head." "He's really sincere in his conversion?" "He's absolutely determined to become a Catholic, Mummy." "Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed by Thy ame thy kingdom come, they will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven" "Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us, And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil." "Amen." "Hail Mary, full of grace the Lord is with thee." "Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus." "Holy Mary, Mother of God" "Pray for us" "Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death." "Amen." "Will you tell me now, Mr Mottram, who it is who merits heaven?" "Whosoever is good merits heaven, that is whosoever loves and serves God faithfully and dies in his Grace." "Good." "What do the wicked, who serve not God and die in mortal sin deserve?" "The wicked who serve not God and die in mortal sin deserve hell." "Well, that's really quite encouraging." "We'll continue next time." "Now before you go, Mr Mottram" "Is there anything particular troubling you?" "Look Father." "I don't think you're being straight with me." "I want to join your Church and I'm going to join your Church but you're holding too much back." "What do you mean "holding too much back"?" "I've had a long talk with a Catholic a very pious and well-educated one, and I've learned a thing or two." "For instance, you have to sleep with your feet pointing East because that's the direction of Heaven so if you die in the night you can walk there." "Now I'll sleep with my feet pointing any way that suits Julia but do you expect a grown man to believe about walking to Heaven?" "And what about the Pope who made one of his horses a Cardinal?" "And what about the box you have in the church porch where if you put in a pound note with somebody's name on it, they get sent to hell." "Mr Mottram" "I'm not saying there may not be a good reason for all this but you ought to tell me about it and not let me go and find out for myself." "But who can he have been talking to?" "Did he dream it all?" "Cordelia, what's the matter?" "What a chump!" "What a glorious chump!" "Cordelia It was you." "Oh Mummy, who would have believed that he would swallow it." "I told him such a lot besides." "About sacred monkeys in the Vatican and all kinds of things." "Well, you've very considerably increased my work." "Poor Rex." "You know, I think it makes him rather loveable." "You must treat him like an idiot child Father Mowbray." "I'm no expert, but this looks good." "Mr and Mrs. and Miss Pendle-Garthwaite, one afternoon tea set." "Oh, sorry." "Buntings, thirty bob I should think." "Jolly mean." "Another tea set from the Chasms." "Cordelia, please don't mix the cards up." "We're trying to make a list." "I was only looking." "It's going to be enough agony thanking people as it is." "In the end, Rex's instruction was continued and Father Mowbray consented to receive him into the Church just before his wedding." "Thus things stood." "The cards had gone out and presents were coming in fast." "Then came what Julia called Bridey's bombshell" "Chinky vases from Aunt Betty." "More replies, my lady." "Aren't they hideous?" "They were on the stairs at Buckbourne." "I'm sure Rex will like them." "You'd better pack all this stuff up again." "Bridey." "What do you mean?" "Only that the wedding's off." "Bridey!" "I thought I'd better make some investigations into my prospective brother in-law, as no-one else seemed interested." "I've just got the answer." "He was married in Montreal in 1915 to a Miss Sarah Evangeline Cutler, who is still living there." "Rex" "Is this true?" "Sure it's true." "What about it?" "What about it?" "What about it, you say?" "Have you taken leave of your senses?" "Are you quite mad?" "Whoa!" "Steady, Bridey." "You'd better explain, Rex." "I don't know why you're all looking so het up." "She isn't a thing to me." "I was just a kid." "It's the sort of mistake anyone could make." "You think that, do you?" "We got our divorce back in 1919." "Look, for God's sake, what's all the rumpus?" "You might have told me." "You never asked." "Honestly, I haven't given her a thought in years." "But don't you realise you poor sweet oaf you can't be married as a Catholic when you've got a wife still living?" "But I haven't." "Didn't I just tell you?" "I was divorced six years ago." "But you can't be divorced as a Catholic." "I wasn't a Catholic and I was divorced." "Now, I've got the papers somewhere." "But didn't Father Mowbray explain to you about marriage?" "He said I wasn't to be divorced from you." "Well, I don't want to be." "I can't remember all Father Mowbray told me." "Sacred monkeys, and plenary indulgences and the four last things If I remember all he told me" "I shouldn't have time for anything else." "Now, how about your Italian cousin, Francesca?" "She married twice." "She had an annulment." "All right then, I'll get an annulment." "What does it cost?" "And who do I get it from?" "Does Father Mowbray have one?" "Look, I only want to do what's right. obody told me." "What do you want me to do?" "Don't tell me there isn't someone who can fix this?" "There's nothing that can be done, Rex." "It simply means your marriage cannot now take place." "I'm sorry from everyone's point of view that this has come so suddenly." "You should have told us yourself." "Look, maybe what you say is right." "Maybe, strictly by law, I shouldn't be married in your Cathedral." "But the Cathedral is booked and no one there is asking any questions." "The Cardinal and Father Mowbray don't know about it." "obody except us knows a thing." "Why make trouble?" "I wanna just stay mum and let the thing go through." "Who loses anything by that?" "Maybe I risk going to hell." "Well, I'll risk it." "What's it got to do with anyone else?" "Why not?" "I don't believe these priests know everything." "I don't believe in Hell for things like that." "I don't know that I believe in it for anything." "Anyway, that's our look out." "We're not asking you to risk your souls." "Just keep away." "Julia, I hate you." "I think we're all very tired." "We should talk." "If there's anything more to say, I suggest we discuss it later." "There's nothing to discuss except what's the least offensive way we can close the whole incident." "Mother and I will decide that." "We must put a notice in The Times and The Morning Post." "Presents will have to go back." "I don't know what is usual about the bridesmaid's dresses do you, Julia?" "Oh, shut up, Bridey." "Just a moment, just a moment." "Maybe what you say is right." "Maybe you can stop us marrying in your Cathedral, all right." "To hell, we'll be married in a Protestant church." "I can stop that too." "But I don't think you will, Mummy." "You see, I've been Rex's mistress for some time now and I shall go on, being married or not." "Is this true?" "o." "Damn it, it's not." "But I wish it were." "I see." "I can't go on any longer just now." "We must discuss this later." "What on earth you tell your mother that?" "That's exactly what Rex wanted to know." "I meant I was much too deep with Rex just to be able to say" ""The marriage arranged will not now take place", and leave it at that." "I wanted to be made an honest woman." "I've been wanting it ever since, come to think of it." "So the talks went on and on." "Poor mummy." "In the middle of it Rex just telegraphed to papa:" "Julia and I prefer wedding ceremony take place by Protestant rites." "Have you any objections?" "He answered, "Delighted"" "Oh, Charles, what a squalid wedding!" "The Savoy chapel was the place where divorced couples got married in those days." "A poky little place, not at all what Rex had intended." "I wanted just to slip into a registry office one morning and get the thing over with a couple of char women as witnesses, but nothing else would do but Rex had to have bridesmaids and orange blossoms and the Wedding March." "It was gruesome." "Poor mummy behaved like a martyr and insisted on my having her lace in spite of everything." "Well, she more or less had to." "The dress had been planned round it." "My own friends came, of course and the curious accomplices Rex called his friends." "The rest of the party were very oddly assorted." "one of mummy's family came, of course one or two of papa's." "All the stuffy people stayed away you know, the Anchorages and Chasms and Vanbrughs." "And I thought" "Thank God, for that, they always look down their noses at me, anyhow" "But Rex was furious because it was just them he wanted apparently." "Poor Cordelia took it hardest." "At first she wouldn't speak to me." "Then on the morning of the wedding she came bursting in before I was up, straight from Farm Street" "in floods of tears." "Begged me not to marry then hugged me, gave me a dear little brooch she'd bought and said she prayed I'd always be happy." "Always happy, Charles." "So, you see, things never looked like going right." "There was a hoodoo on us from the start." "But I was still nuts about Rex." "Funny to think of, isn't it?" "You know, Father Mowbray saw the truth about Rex at once that it took me a year of marriage to see." "He simply wasn't all there." "He wasn't a complete human being at all." "He was a tiny bit of one, unnaturally developed." "Something in a bottle, an organ kept in a laboratory." "I thought he was a sort of primitive savage but he was something absolutely modern and up to date that only this ghastly age could produce." "A tiny bit of a man pretending he was whole." "Well, it's all over now." "It was ten years later that she said this to me." "In a storm in the Atlantic." "782"