"Four shades of brown" "DALARNA PROVINCE" "Life should be fun." "If there is a God, and He has a wish for us, its not to be bored!" "In the Book of Matthew, chapter 16, Lord Jesus says:" ""What is a man profited if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?"" "I'll get it." "Oh, come on..." "I'd rather gain the world than die half-naked and nailed to a plank." "Tony!" "Life should be fun." "Dad, there are a few things..." " Tony, he's very weak..." " This is between me and Dad." "Dad..." "I've a few bones to pick with you." "Hey..." "Dad..." "Allow me to introduce myself." "My name is Sören H. Lindberg, and I died 43 minutes ago." "I have no regrets." "I've made my own decisions and I regret none of them." "Above all, I've had fun." ""Dead" isn't the right word." "I'm a Buddhist, for Gods sake!" "It's just my body that's dead." "I'm sure as hell not." "COMMUNITY CENTRE SÖDERTÄLJE" "What happened during the "Emperor of China"?" "And you have to tilt the vase 450, or it's visible from the balcony." " There was no balcony." " I know, that's not the point." " Can we try to take this seriously?" " Of course, darling." "Sorry." "I want to stop in Västervik tomorrow to see if my winter coat's ready." "Jan-Erik, I have a confession." "I was at Åhléns today to buy Stefan Andhé's latest paperback." "And...?" "I didn't find the book, but..." "I met..." "an incredibly interesting man." "The idea struck me that we could be together." "Hang on a sec..." "This is Perikles." " Perikles." " Jan-Erik." "What are you eating?" " Morning!" " Good morning, Perikles!" " Where are we headed today?" " The E4." "Hotell Brunn." "European Highway 4." "Excellent." "Monday, 4.30 p.m. Four men." "I put them in the small conference room." "I like it that all the shots face the sea." "Now this is really me!" "But it's not really you, is it?" "Then there's your parents..." "What do you mean?" "Of course it's me." " These are all us." " My parents aren't coming this year." "They're going to put themselves in cold storage or something." "They're not going to fill their son's hotel with coloured handkerchiefs." "What's that in the road that looks like strawberry jam?" "Hush, hush, my dear it's Papa, run over by a tram." "So you're magicians." "I'm not fond of magic." "I think life itself is magic." " For Jan-Erik." " Thanks." "And for Smulis." "Oh!" "You found it!" "Let's be off!" "15's ready!" " Hi!" "Welcome!" " Darling, how nice to see you!" "Hi, Mum." "Welcome." " Hi, Dad." " Hello there, Innkeeper." " Can you take this?" " Of course!" " How long did it take?" " Five hours, with one stop." " Say hello to Perikles." " Hi, I'm Richard Brunn." " Perikles." " Sorry?" "Oh, I see." " Welcome." " Thanks." " You've extended!" " Renovated." "We hired Keskinen." "Have you heard of him?" "Raimo Keskinen?" "He did the FinnAir lounge at Arlanda, and he's been in Barcelona a lot." " A cadeau for the lady of the house." " Well, thank you!" "How kind!" "That's a six-seater, Gustav." "Take a smaller table." " Look at this!" "Who's this little...?" " Oh, that's a..." " Wow!" " How cute!" "Who's it meant to be?" " It's a little man." " I see, a little man." "How cute!" " It's a music box too!" " It's meant to be someone, isn't it?" " That man who lives with his kids..." " It's him!" "The accountant at Circus Benneweis." "Dr Schneider." "Remember, Richard?" "No." "It's Hadar Cars." "Minister of Trade in the Liberal Party government." " In the late 70s." " A wonderful era!" "Do you have the room key?" "Let's see..." "Here you are." "Richard..." "Why do I get so tense when my parents come?" "As soon as they walk into the hotel, I just..." " Do you have beach towels?" " Sorry?" " Are there any towels for..." " By the stairs, I'll show you." "Excuse me!" "We don't smoke inside the hotel." "Hi there, Smulan." " You've got a good spot here." " Yes, it's wonderful." " Are you thirsty?" " Yes, thank you!" " He seems nice, that Perikles." " Isn't he just?" " Is he someone you..." " Hello!" "BJÄRRED SKANE PROVINCE" " What's all this?" " They've arrived!" "They've arrived!" " Wait till you see..." " Oh, the pictures." "At last!" "Look at this." "And this one!" "This is my favourite!" " Aren't they great pictures?" " You can see it's my T-shirt." "My T-shirt in Rio de Janeiro!" " Let's get started!" " No, we have to go." " Now?" "!" " To the parent-teacher meeting." " I won't go!" "I want to frame these." " We're not framing anything." "We're going to the parent-teacher meeting." "Morgan!" "As things look right now, I'm going to have to fail Morgan... in Swedish, English and Maths." "I see." "And then there's..." "There have been a number of incidents." "In one instance, Morgan set fire to a friend's winter jacket." "Morgan isn't stupid, he's just very negative." " He seems very unwilling." " Of course you're willing!" "I think it's best if children are stimulated to want to study." "You have to try to stimulate Morgan." "Talk to him." "Show him all that's out there." ""Out there"?" " What page are you on?" " 74." " 74..." "I'm on 71." " Really?" "This affair with Baiba Liepa in chapter four..." "Wasn't Inspector Wallander dating her in The White Lioness?" "I don't remember." "I don't know." "Yes it is." "It's the same woman as in The White Lioness." "It's not important to the story." "You never know with Mankell." "I'm off to bed." " Good night." " Good night." " Kiss kiss." " Kiss kiss." "Hmm..." "Baiba..." "It was The White Lioness." "Baiba..." "The whole county is infested with the Colorado potato beetle." "But don't panic." "I've plenty of fly spray in the garage." "Morgan, you need to be ready in ten minutes." " Eh?" " You're coming to work with me." " I'm going out with Massoud." " No, you're not." "It's Saturday." "I'm meeting Massoud." "Let's see here..." "This is the sewage basin, where we take care of the pooh and stuff." "And here's our building!" "This is where the old man works." "This is a different division." "They do their thing over there." "Here's the whole module:" "This is the On/Off switch..." "See?" "Then it's code... code... and call." " Central guard." "This is Blom." " Hi, Leffe!" "It's Christer." "5212 SSK." "Is it OK if I go in, even though it's Saturday?" "I've brought my boy out to get stimulated." "Carrot, you know." "Er... say hello to the wife." "I'll just lock up then." "Look at this: "T-T"." ""Tuesday, Thursday, Ten to Twelve." T-T." "Easy to remember." "I'm the first person people meet here." "I'm our public face." "I stand back here." "This is where your old dad works." ""Good day." Good day." "Just kidding." "Let's play a game!" "You be a customer and I'll be me." "Take a number and I'll show you how the whole process works." "Here, take this." "OK, you've just come in with that." "And you've taken a number, good." "Sit there and wait." "And I call out the numbers like this:" "Number 35!" "No one has number 35?" "Strange..." "Taking a number and then disappearing..." "Number 36!" " That's me!" " Number 36?" "Yes, that's correct." "Then we write you up in this folder." "The number should match." "This is the gate." "Come on in." "Come in, come in." "Have a seat on the sofa." "That's where we sit." "This is the cuddly-wuddly room." "It's where you can cuddle your pet." "You get a few minutes here to cuddle and say goodbye." "Some people are totally shaken and distraught." "And that's where we have our coffee breaks." " The contrast?" " He's so dark, they look light." "Don't you think Flavio has changed a lot in just one year?" "Yes, he's beautiful." "Anyway, I told him that he has to make an effort." " What beautiful teeth he's got!" " Why do I do everything at home?" "I just keep wondering." "You're lucky to sponsor such a handsome child." "This is where we go in." "To the left." "This is the heart of the whole facility." "Put the bag down there." "That's the cremator." "A Tabo incinerator." "With a solid-cast hearth floor." "This is no pizza oven, believe me!" "It goes up to 900 degrees." "It has an incineration capacity of 112 kg." "This is where the ash comes out." "There you have it!" "There..." "I'll take that bag now." "We put it on the workbench..." "Then I put on these safety gloves." "Kjell Levrén likes these, red ones, like Mum uses in the garden." "But I use black ones." "Now let's see what's in here." "Morgan, come here." "Come and have a look, this is exciting." "There we are..." "Look!" "It's one of those Yorkshire terriers." "Feel this." "Here you go, feel it." "Feel." "See, it's not a dog anymore." "It's all tumor." "It's frozen, but this is just pretend." "Now it's time for the shot." "This is Kjell's, Jan's and Dad's." "I take this and put it behind the ear." "There." "Look!" "Morgan!" "Here." "Look." "I put this in the neck." "Insert... empty the syringe..." "and pull out." "There now." "It's time for you to rest." "That's a good dog..." "There!" "It's dead." "Now onto the conveyor..." "Now let's go over here..." "The thing is when dogs die, someone has to take care of them." "That's our job." "I put them to sleep and burn them." "Not to be mean to them." "But someone has to do it." "And it's not just dogs." "It's also rats... and pigeons killed by the council." "Then there are smuggled puppies seized by customs." "And summer cats." "That's really common." ""We forgot the cat." "Never mind..."" "Bollocks." "Out of the way!" "Sod Jan, he's left it off-kilter." "Shit!" "Shame I can't be there." "This is for the horses" "They won't get this at all." "What did I write here?" "Where's this from?" "Ah, who cares?" "Lots of tape on this one." "That nail-biter will have to work for it!" "That'll be number one." "A big, fat "1"." "Fancy meal, there's that..." "This is going great!" "ORIENTAL FUNERAL" "I was born 74 years ago in Gagnef." "My mother and aunts spun wool, and wanted nothing to do with men." "But they wanted a kid." "For that purpose they used a German immigrant, Philip Schmidt." "He was a shopkeeper, and he got to mount my mother." "He was never seen again." "But I came to be, and I grew up in a lovely world of yarn and women." "They were handsome women." "I called them Mother Doris, Mother Matilda and Mother Josefina." "Three mothers and no father." "I have such wonderful memories." "I'm five years old, sleeping naked in Mother Doriss bed." "I hear giggles, and they all come in with full vodka glasses, straight from the sauna." "They're warm and damp and happy." "They lie down next to me and start kissing me." ""Dear little Sören," they say." ""You're the best boy in the world."" "And they lie down naked in a row, so I can roll back and forth over their wonderful, soft bodies, and I shout out:" ""Hooray for Sören!" "Hooray for Sören!"" "And then I fall asleep, stretched out across my beautiful mothers." "I don't think any boy could ever be happier." "As an adult I've fallen asleep that way many times, but it was never the same as with my mothers." ""Childhood pleasures are adulthoods sorrows," as they say." "But I have had fun." "It's fun making babies, for example." "I've had three." "I found their mother, Caroline, in a clothing catalogue." "So I phoned the company." ""Hi, this is Sören H."" ""I'd like the phone number to the bird on page 55 in the polka-dot dress."" "I took her to Torremelinos for a bit of fun." "We had three kids before she died of cancer in '83." "She was lovely." "Three kids we had." "A Tony, a Mikael and a Kenneth." "You boys have plenty to do now the old man's dead." "Or not really dead." "Ill cling to your miserable little lives like a French perfume." "Mikael and his wife have some kind of business selling lotions." "Anyway, Mikael is taking care of my funeral." "What's her name now...?" "Lisa?" "Lisbeth?" "Whatever." "They're good people, anyway, even if they look like sausages." "You can put it here." "Perfect." ""Sören H. Lindberg washing his vagina on Tiananmen Square", by Ernst Billgren." "Joakim, do you have Arsey's number?" "It's good." "It has..." "I see." "It's to hang over there." " No, it's to go in the other room." " No, it's to go there." "Johanna..." "She was my woman the last ten years of my life." "What a tasty bird..." "I've only ever had tasty birds." "There's Tony, my oldest." "He just up and disappeared ten years ago." "He had some kind of football career up in Sundsvall." "He sat on the bench in a few big games, but he never played." "For Gods sake, learn to laugh!" "You take life way too seriously." "Laugh and enjoy life, damn it!" "Then there's Kenneth, the baby." "Speedway driver with allergies." "I never really got to know Kenneth." "He was always shy and withdrawn." "Hell, I never wanted to know him." "It was hard enough getting to know myself." "It's more fun getting to know yourself than a boring old fart like him!" "Hi there." " Is Tony here?" "!" " Hasn't said a word in two weeks." "Hi, Tony!" " For God's sake!" " Tony, stop mooning people!" "Johanna Bergström." "You didn't come down to greet him." " Well, what do you want?" " What do you want?" "Let me go!" "Sören H. Lindberg is Swedens all-time best jockey." "I've won everything that can possibly be won, and bought all that can be bought." "But my dearest possessions are not this gigantic farm or all my money." "What means the most to me, the women and the horses..." "Those are my dearest possessions." "Harness racing is like riding in a taxi, except that you're behind a horse running around and around." "I don't know if its worth respect." "I respect people who spread joy." "Like the baker, chimney sweep, and Kikkoman,the inventor of soy sauce." ""Mikael Lindberg will co-ordinate the ceremony"..." "Screw the party, I want to know who gets what?" "Like who gets Pirog?" "When do we find that out?" "Maybe Pirog, the pride of the stable." "He was a little tired when we won the '83 Gran Premio, but I don't think he ever really gave it his all." "He didn't have to;" "He won anyway." "He'd won 25 million before we turned him out to stud 12 years ago." "Today he's the most prized stud in all Europe." "Whoever inherits Pirog will never want for money again." "The harness racing is what has allowed me to do what I want." "When I realised I could do whatever I pleased," "I blow-dried my hair up into a little ball." ""The Cancer"." "A play in one act by Sören H. Lindberg." "I got a play!" "Is that all?" "With age comes insight into what we should have known in our youth." "If I'd known then what I know now, I'd have had eight penises." "Take it easy, now..." "I feel sick, too, with you lot screaming!" "Eight knobs hanging in a bunch against my thigh." "Just think!" "Kenneth!" " I need a toilet!" " Daddy, where's Granddad?" " Granddad is dead." "Stone cold." " You never told me!" "There you go, Christer." "Watch your head." "Careful." "Good." "Let's turn around..." "There." "And down we go..." "So when we got back to town, everyone upped and went." "Boring lot!" "OK, watch your step." "Do you want me to help you?" "Take care of yourself, Christer." "Welcome home!" "Wait, let me help you!" "There." "You were supposed to come at 11.40!" "It's only 11.30!" "Let me help you..." "Christer!" "What the hell...?" "Here we are..." "Morgan picked this out." "Let me help you." "I'll take that..." "Let's see if it fits..." "Yes, it's perfect!" "Let's just put this over here." "There we go." "WORLD'S BEST DAD" "Oh, that's way too hot!" "We'll have something else first." "Could you leave the room?" "I want to talk to Dad." "I've never cared much for appearance." ""For better or for worse," we said." "Things were good for a long time." "Now it's time for worse." "That's all there is to it." "We have a lovely garden, you and I." "Sorry, Christer." "I just can't do this." "You boys will have to sort this urination thing yourselves." "Morgan!" "What shall we start with?" "I know, this!" "Can you guess what this is?" "No, I didn't think so." "Look, you can use it to reach your back!" "You can scratch, or scrub, or whatever!" "I think I'll turn in." "There..." "I don't see it as a sacrifice being married to you." "Kiss kiss!" "You're going to look terrible." "Everyone will think that, but they won't say it; that's the worst part." "Eventually you'll long for someone to say it instead of just looking away." "So the close relationships you have now will be very important to you." " I'll stand by him." " That's good." "OK, then." "How do you feel?" "Tender?" "I'm going to take off the collar in one go." "Ready?" "Great!" "Good job, Christer." "That was the worst part." "There we go..." "Is it OK?" "Good job, you're a real fighter." "Now, one... two... three..." "Do you want me to stop?" "Now I'm going to pull this over your head." "That's the last of it." "You're doing great." "Good job, Christer." "Now it's over." "Good job." "There's a mirror over there if you want to have a look." " Hi, Janne." " We've brought you some friends." " How many?" " Three today." "Christer, can you manage?" "Do you want some help?" "No!" "Have you thought about where your job is leading?" "I mean..." "Just relax..." "I mean, it's been a while since you worked in..." "It would give Jan a chance to learn how to... deal with customers." "So I thought you could rotate." "Switch places." "He could learn about customers and about being our public face." "Well?" "Because it's important for him to be our public face now and then." "I mean, our public representative." "Good." "Then..." "That's that, then." "So anyway." "What else is new?" "Anna!" " Mådan!" "Hi!" " It's been ages!" "How nice to see you!" " How are you?" " Fine, just fine." "I'm just looking at the calla lilies." "Look, I saw Christer in the sweetshop the other day." " How is he?" " He was picking up a package." "It must be very difficult." "Yes, it was crazy to close down the post office." "I mean with Christer." "He's just fine." "So is Flavio." "Everything's normal." "It's our turn." "We were at the vet's in Denmark." "He didn't know if Max needs to be put to sleep, so he sent us here." " Eh?" " We've been to the vet's in Denmark." "And he told us to come here and ask if he has to be put to sleep." "But... we can't make that decision." "A veterinarian must make that decision." "But he sent us here." "If you're putting him to sleep, we have a price list..." "I just want to know if he has to be put to sleep!" "What shall we do with the ostrich?" "Can we put it in whole?" "Should we slice it up?" "It escaped from an ostrich farm." "It ran out on the E65 and got flattened by a lorry." "I don't see why they can't build proper fences." "What else is new?" "Sent in your pools coupon?" "MASTHUGGET GOTHENBURG" "It's right there at Korsvägen." "You should take the tram." "What is this?" "Why are they never finished before it's our turn?" "OK, ladies, prancing-time over!" "Hello..." " I bet they don't know the schedule." " I have a class to teach here." "Olle is buying today." "It might take a while, the off-licence was crowded." " Hi, everybody!" " Hi, Ernst." " The dart guy is Holger, right?" " No idea." " I don't want to say the wrong name." " What a piquant odour!" "The air isn't so fresh after their class." "They jump around and stuff." "There's a guy at work who smells really bad." "I think sweat is unpleasant." "I never sweat." "No... but it's not..." "It's from his mouth." " His breath is horrendous." " That's disgusting!" "You shouldn't have to suffer for his poor hygiene." "Say something." "That's not something you can..." " I'm not used to these, you know." " Jesus..." " Can you help me with this?" " Of course." " You've got hold of the crutch?" " Yes." " You should have told us!" " What happened?" "It's not as bad as it looks." "Shall we get started?" "It's really Ernst's turn to start." "But I think Olle should start by telling us what happened." "I was mugged." " Attacked." " That's terrible!" "He took my wallet and a necklace I was wearing." "Then he disappeared." "Aren't you angry?" "If you're so bad off that you have to mug someone for money..." "I feel sorry for him." " That's not relevant." " Why hate a man with such problems?" " You think you deserved to be mugged?" " Of course not." "It sounds like middle-class guilt and strong self-hatred to me." "You've picked an interesting wine." "This bearded man is so... happy." "He makes me happy." " Ernst, it's your turn." " OK..." "I've been thinking about something this week." "My blandness versus my charisma." " Ernst..." " I sit in cafés unnoticed for hours." "Then... another time I come and all eyes turn to me." " Must we listen to this again?" " Yes, as long as I have the timer." "We've agreed on certain rules here." "You made up that timer rule yourself!" " Yeah, knock it off!" " Rule 1:" "We all get to say our piece." " But it has to be relevant." " Relevance is relative." "It has to be about a personal problem you have." "And I'm saying I'm both bland and charismatic." "What you're saying is that you're very self-centred." "I just can't forget this charisma thing." " Can someone open a window for me?" " Of course." "Last week you told us about your relationship with Premilla." "I'm curious, as I'm sure we all are, about how that's going..." " Great." "It's going great." " Is it?" "It's going very well." "Just the other day, Premilla suggested, that we find ways of improving our sex lives." "That we should... do whatever we want with each other." "We... decided to put ourselves entirely into the other's hands, so we could live out some fantasy." ""Sure," I said." "I let her start." "She tied my hands to the bedstead." "And she went over my whole body, in detail, from toe to top." "She lingered for a long time at my scrotum, which she licked with slow, eager movements." "She was crazy!" "I felt a little tense at first, but then it was my turn." "I tied her up, too." "Good and proper." "Come on, come on, tell us!" "Then I poured Frosties in her cunt and fucked her hard, hard, hard." " Frosties?" " Yes, the breakfast cereal." "Well, I'll be damned!" "It was nice." "You're making it up!" "It's just your wanking fantasy!" "Yes, and that's just fine." "Oh, Johan...!" "Is it true, what Ernst said?" "Were you just making that up?" "He made it up." "Yeah..." " It's like this..." " Wait, I'm not done erasing." "There." "Go ahead." "Well, I tied her up, fairly loosely, then licked her down there until she was done." "Or pretended to be done." "Then it got quiet and I fell asleep." "So you didn't dare to do what you wanted to?" "I've given up the idea of satisfying sex in real life." "It's more like a kind of game." "A polite game." "You ought to open the packet of eel." "You can't put eel and meat together;" "it turns out weird." "There's some weird kind of glue, almost like plaster." "They're not soggy, they're really crispy!" "Oh, you made them!" "Mauritius?" "Interesting." "I was there in 97." "When are you off?" " This Christmas." " During the rainy season?" " Did you pay for both tickets?" " Yes." " Why?" " He's a student, he can't afford it." "It was the same thing with your last boyfriend." "Why do you always pay?" "I don't always pay." "My last two boyfriends just haven't had jobs." "There's nothing odd about that." "Previously, you've said that you were nervous about long trips." " What if you shared expenses?" " But he can't afford it." "Couldn't you go somewhere he could afford, and split the cost?" "Maybe, but I don't want to." "Cheaper places are boring and cheap." "I want to go to an expensive, enjoyable place." " You never let anyone else pay?" " No, I always pay." "What if I offered you a huge seafood platter?" " Why?" " Because I want to." " But what do you want from me?" " Nothing." "Your company." " Say an oval platter with oysters..." " God, that sounds good!" "Belon, a dozen..." "Not lobster, but langoustes from the Mediterranean." "I was at a restaurant in Paris..." "Hello, good morning." " Oh, isn't this nice!" " Welcome to our family breakfast." "Have a seat." " This is for family only." " I just want a cup of coffee." "You know, I think you're even prettier today, Smulan!" " How's the magic business?" " Fine." "Can you understand my Danish?" " Is it still fun?" " It's our job." "Are you kangaroos too?" "I'll also take my breakfast on the beach." "But Mum!" "We were going to eat together!" "In that case, I'm done." "Thanks for a lovely breakfast." "Perikles!" " What, are you off too?" " What?" "No!" "No..." "A Magical Evening" " Did you get the lamb out?" " Yes." "So it will be thawed by dinner." "I put it on your side." "I thought it would be unsanitary to have it in the kitchen." "Hi there..." "Don't take this the wrong way, Jan-Erik but I'd like to take you to Africa." "Every day could be our last." "Perikles, come let me show you the stage entrance." "What the hell...?" "Mum!" "Stop that now!" "Hi, Dad!" "May I come in?" "Just kidding." "Er... it's like this..." "You buy a hotel." "You renovate it." "It turns out nice." "You create a pleasant place." "What's this?" "!" "Dad..." "Can't we try to maintain a certain decorum here?" "Can't we?" "That's... that's great." "Nice to..." "Just great." "What the hell..." "Dad!" "We fly fishers want a partner on the hook." "That's not easy." "The partner likes to stay on land with a hot thermos." "Johan." "Oh, hi!" "No, I'm in the car on my way to class." "It's like a cooking class." "We get together and eat and talk." " Hello!" "How are you?" " Just fine..." "Hold back..." "Not yet..." "Not yet." "Get with it!" "Not yet." "Now!" "The other day I was in the cellar retouching old school photos." "I had such a strange haircut back then." "The nice thing is you can change your past, and I have." "So now I've always been this way." "What's troubling is that it was a perfectly normal cut." "I once had a cut like that." " I looked like all the other boys." " Can't you just accept who you were?" " What do you mean?" " Why lie about the past?" "I can accept things." "But the photo is not of how I want to see myself then." "Let me show you..." "This is my school photo." "I took a pen and retouched it a little, added some lines..." "This is how I looked when I think of myself then." "But that's a pussycat." "I don't understand..." "I'm serious." "When I look back on those days, that's how I looked." "You can't change a photo." "That's rewriting history." " I've put things right." " A photo doesn't lie!" "So you mean the photo is truth and my pussycat is a lie?" " Yes." " Rubbish." "But here..." "Look, this is a photo." " What is this?" " My wife." " Oh, little Premilla!" "Let's see!" " That's my wife Premilla." "That's exactly what she looks like." "Twenty years from now, it will still be how she looks today." " So this is how she looks?" " Exactly how she looks." " Exactly?" " Yes." "You don't think she's small and flat?" " It's a small photo." " And she has no body." "Interesting wife." "Johan's wife has no body and lives in a wallet." "My school photo didn't measure up." "I had to change it." " Because your haircut was normal?" " It screams conformity." "And what have you done this week, Jenny?" "I was a bit nasty to a girl at work." "I didn't mean anything by it, it just happened." "God, there's a lot here!" "I'll be working overtime all week." " Do you have any New Year plans?" " New Year?" "That's six months away." "But I don't know, I was thinking I might go skiing in Are." " That sounds like fun." " It's nice to get away from it all." "If I go with some friends, do you want to come?" "I'd love that!" "It'd be great!" "We could ski a little and just relax." " We could rent a big cabin!" " And have big dinners!" " And make out with guys." " At the after-ski party." "Have you been to an after-ski party?" "It's horrible." "Like at Harleys, only five times worse." "But skiing is fun." " Yeah." " You like skiing?" "I hate it." "Silly clothes and a bunch of kids." " I thought you wanted to go." " And ski?" "No, I just want to drink." " You mean go away and party?" " Yeah." "That's an idea." "But I wouldn't go to Are for that." "And absolutely not at New Year." "It's a geek-fest there." " So you don't want to go to Are?" " No, what do you think?" "Are is a big fat joke." "Maybe we can do something here." "But I think I already have plans." "We can talk about it later." " You did that?" "That's mean." " I know." "But I don't see myself as mean." "I don't want to be." " It's fun to be mean." " When you know you've got them!" "You can manipulate them..." "It's like juggling." "But with people's feelings." " It sounds like fun." " I think it sounds destructive." "Olle..." "Is there anything you feel guilty about?" "Of course." "Tons of things." "The worst thing is that I broke up my family." "I worked too much, spent too much time on my career instead of them." "I was unfaithful." "I feel very guilty about that sometimes." "And that I have no contact with my wife anymore." "Or my daughter." " Did you leave your wife?" " No, she left me." " Why?" " She caught me with someone else." " What did you do?" " Packed my things and left." "No..." "She packed her things and left." " Let go of her!" " I'm letting go." "Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" " My wife got custody of her." " Why?" "I didn't have time;" "I worked all the time." "Yes, I have regrets." "I just couldn't make it work." " So you chose..." "...my career." " When did you last see her?" " Not since then." "It's unbelievable..." ""No, leave silly Cancer."" " No, leave silly Cancer." " Good!" " "The funny ball in the funny park."" " The funny ball in the funny park." "When I was 64, I went through an identity crisis." "Was it really a good idea, this polygamist lifestyle, with all these women running around everywhere?" "Was it really good to grow up with three mothers?" "No, I decided." "So I decided to spend the rest of my life with one woman." "That was Johanna." "And I've never regretted that." "Johanna Bergström..." "I think these crises help people to mature properly." "If someone makes a giant painting of themselves like that, how do you beat that?" "You make an even bigger painting." "And hang it in front of the first one." "You mustn't do that again." "I want you to respect me." "That goes without saying." "Respect." "That's really important." " Have you seen her, do you want to?" " You'll see, Dad." "This will be my party." "Hi..." "Look what I've got for you." "Have you seen my pretty cow..." "What the hell..." " I..." " What are you doing?" "What's that?" " A pair of... horse jeans." " Horse jeans?" " For Pirog." " You're going to put jeans on him?" "That's what it said in the envelope from Dad." "It's not a good idea to put jeans on a horse if you're scared of horses." "No..." "Someone else will have to do it." " Someone else will have to do it." " Right." "All right?" " I haven't seen that in a long time." " What?" "You nodding like that." " Remember when I played hockey?" " Yep." " Remember how bad I was at it?" " Yep." "When Dad came to watch, if I screwed up, I looked up to him for support." "And he always looked away." "But not you." "You just nodded like that." "That felt good." "I'm so bloody nervous, Tony." "I need you there tomorrow." "That look." "It feels good." "Hi there, boy." "Hi." "We're going to get dressed up." "What a great funeral party its going to be." "What you don't know is that Sören H. Lindberg, will rise from the dead." "Eight penises hanging like grapes against my thigh, what joy!" "But what kind of jeans would I wear?" "Yes?" " Am I interrupting?" " Jan-Erik?" "Good day to you, Jan-Erik." "I thought we'd make some changes for tonight." "Perri, Jan-Erik and I have to work." "Fine by me." "I was going to work on my tan anyway!" "On the beach." "In a hockey glove behind the boiler." "Do you know how long it's taken to renovate this hotel?" "How much work has gone into every nail?" "This purity, light, openness..." "You can't place any old thing in it." "You don't tell Beethoven that his sonata... needs a boogie-woogie movement." "For fuck's sake, it's just a silly little statue!" "Everything matches here." "The curtains match the cutlery, which match the tablecloths..." "If this hotel is so perfect, how can this little wooden man ruin it all?" "OK, put the fucking thing up, then!" "Hi!" " The builders take half that cost." " So this is my share." "It says beaded panelling, but we had unplaned, didn't we?" "That?" "It's Tove's..." "A girl thing." " But she's part of this hotel, so..." " Sure." "I think it's quite fun, actually." "Hey, look." "I've found a beautiful glass mosaic, from an old church in Tuscany." "Let's see..." "Keskinen..." "I need your help with something." "I..." "I think this is working out fine." "Can't we go on like this, we three?" "Eh?" "We're a perfect match." "We don't interfere with each other's business." "Damn, no matches!" "You've never seen us perform magic, have you?" "You should." "Hi." "My name's Ray." "What's your name?" "Your name's Ray, my name's Gerd." "What's your name?" "Your name's Ray, your name's Gerd my name's Claes." "What's your name?" "Y-Your name's R-Ray, your name's Gerd your name's C-Claes and my name's B-Börje." "What's your name?" "What's your name?" "What's your name?" " What's your name?" " Come on, Ray, leave him alone." "Let him go." "What's your name?" "What did you say?" "Ray." "Christer has made great progress today." "He broke the "sound barrier", so to speak." "That's great!" " Thank you for coming, Christer." " Yes." "Oh, yes." "Christer seems a little afraid of physical contact." "It's incredibly important to have bodily contact, in the rehabilitation process." "It's essential if Christer is to recover." "So try to live normal lives as much as you can." "Good luck." "Whats your name?" "My names Ray, my names Ray..." "Well I guess we'll have to try and do as she says." " Put your seatbelt on." " Yes." "Well..." "I think it's time for me to go to bed." "Yes..." "Christer!" "Yes?" "What are you doing?" "Christer?" "Yes?" "I'm off to bed..." "Yes." "Hello." "Hi." "Cider?" "What the hell?" "We have to stick together through this, Morgan." "OK?" " Look!" "It's Flavio to a tee!" " Yes." "That's great, Morgan." "But weren't you going to invite Massoud?" " No." " But I'm sure he wants to come." "He doesn't eat crayfish." "We don't just have to eat crayfish." "We can have those napas and tapas and tacos and hats!" "Funny hats!" "We can have a Mexican crayfish party!" "OK, who wants to stick the stamp on?" "Ray." "He likes Barbapappa." "I'll draw him one." " Levrén?" " Levrén, yes." "Do you know what we're having?" "No..." "We're having a nice time together." "Excuse me..." "You have to stop." "Ever since I saw "The Sting" with Robert Redford and Paul Newman," "I've wanted to be a banker." "On Tuesday I'm going to a job interview at a bank." "What?" "I really want the job, and I know I can do it." "But I'm worried they'll be put off by my charisma." "You in a bank?" "Help me." "What do they ask?" "First, they'll ask you why you want the job." "I like being in vast, old rooms..." "For God's sake." "The job." "It's just handling paper and money." "A monkey could do that." "What I think they want to hear is that you're reliable, ambitious, keen to work, able to fit in..." "And responsible." "Just do the opposite of what you normally do!" "Keep a low profile." "Don't mention eyeshades and sleeve protectors." "It's a good idea about the low profile." "Tone down the charisma a bit." "Good idea." "Tell us about your hiding place." "Not on your life." " Do I have to?" " I think you want to." "It's..." "I..." "I have a fish." "On the shelf." "Behind it is my secret place." "When I open it and stick my arm in..." " Where you hide your porn?" " Tons of it." "I've collected so much porn on my travels." "From around the world." "In Japan there's a magazine for every position." "With horses and running around naked, and along comes a huge guy in a bearskin..." "Johan." "Why do you lie so much?" "I don't!" "The last two times you've lied about sex." " And the porn." "Is that also a lie?" " No." "What do you have in there?" "Porn." "I mean..." "What do you have in there?" "Porn." "Horse porn." "We're here to confide in each other." "What do you have in there?" "A pair of socks." " What?" " A pair of socks!" "Oh, yes." "I had a weird dream last night." "Actually, it was about you, Olle." "Is that a fact." "We were in a restaurant." "It was really nice." "And then we strolled through town, until we arrived at your place." "You asked me if I wanted to come in." "And then we're in your hall." "And you help me off with my coat." "And then you ask me if you can fix my hair." "Because it's fallen over my face, like this." "And you take your hand, and push my hair behind my ear." "And then I bite you, and the blood spurts everywhere." "And I scream: "In your dreams, you dirty old sod!"" "Can't we finish now?" "I feel awful." "Yes, let's finish." "Tove, can you come here a second?" " Hi." " Have you met Keskinen?" "Of course I've met Keskinen." " Today?" " Today." "Keskinen!" "What the hell are you playing at?" " Sorry!" " Oh my God, Richard!" "OK, bye." "Christ, Richard, look at him." "Tove, darling." "Please don't put him back." "...over the bottle, and one cylinder over the glass." "And now...!" "Now the glass is... here!" "And the bottle here!" "I'd like to ask the audience to check..." "Do you know what happens when you display him?" "I go back down to division 5." "I go back down to that tacky world I came from." "And all the bad taste there..." "All of it is embodied in that statue." "But if he can't stay, then neither can I." "I came up with this trick when Kelly lost her purse in Oslo in 1957." "The police wanted a full description of its contents, and Kelly went through it all down to the last penny!" "We were so broke, we made engagement rings out of tin foil!" "Now the audience thinks I was stingy." "Foil was expensive in those days!" "What have you got in your inside pocket?" "Well?" "A flask of whiskey!" "Yes, that's correct!" "They crawl out of the woodwork, the so-called friends, relatives." "Vultures come to feast on the corpse." "The Nile is brimming over with crocodile tears, and my generosity knows no bounds." "Sören H. Lindberg will once again fill these petty, boring little lives, with meaning, joy and booze." "I know no one, no one knows me, everyone knows the monkey." "Welcome!" "Hello!" "It's been a long time!" "Great to see you." "Come in." "Hi, ladies!" " Got your cutlery in your hair?" " Exactly." "Kenneth..." "That womaniser Erland." ""The Virgin Erlands" we called him." "I've always liked women's company." "It's just the way I am." " I've no idea who he is." " It's someone Dad knew." "I think it's one of Dad's friends." "He's called Tarmo." "Welcome." "I'd like to welcome everyone to this lovely, oriental-themed evening." "Yes indeed." "And all in accordance with Sören H. Lindberg's last wishes." "We bid farewell to a great man." "We who knew Sören know that what he loved best was having fun." "Imagine if more people had his attitude to life." "The world would be a very different place." "Particularly the Middle East." "And perhaps the Midwest." "That's it!" "A round of applause for Sören!" "I'm Roffe Lindvall, and tonight we're going to have fun!" "I'll be back later, same time, same channel." "It's time - just get the tape going." "Heres a little song from the Orient." "Its called "Pure, unadulterated joy"." "Just a little background music for the party." "OK, lets go..." "Gong, gong, little Chinaman Ding, ching, dong..." "Kjell Levrén!" "Come in!" " Hello." " Hello." "I'm Anna." " Flower." " Thank you." "Hi, Kjell Levrén." "Station manager, SSK." " We've met." " Oh, yes." "This is Morgan." "The kid, yes." "Kjell Levrén, SSK." "Your heating." "Municipal?" "No, electric cartridge." "We've got geothermal." "Cuts down heating costs considerably." "So, what else is new?" "What else is new?" " Eh?" " I said, what else is new?" " What else is new?" " Well, there's a..." "Right, Ray!" "Thank you." "Kjell Levrén, station manager SSK." "My name's Ray." "What's your name?" "K-Kjell Levrén, station manager SSK." "What else is new?" "Hello." "My name's Ray." "What's your name?" "Kjell." "Well, that's sorted..." "A pair of tights!" "You got some chewing tobacco." "Best put it in the fridge..." " My names Ray." "Whats your name?" " Whats up?" "No thanks, I'm driving." "No booze or crayfish for me!" "I'll have it in the wine." "I like to mix mine..." "Here's a straw for you to drink through." "Don't blow, suck!" "...cats, rabbits, whatever." "I even cremated a lizard today." "...we send him stuff and write..." " What's his name?" " Flavio." "That's him up there." "So they've put you in charge of the grill." "Is that appropriate?" "What do you mean?" "Who was it that lit the incinerator and disfigured your father?" "Wasn't it you who pushed the button?" "Well?" "Have you forgotten?" "Just keep your fingers off machines you don't know how to work." "OK?" "But he'll be reminded of that for the rest of his life, won't he?" "He's going to speak, so you can stop jabbering." "Ladies and gentlemen." "I might look like a monkey but I I'm the happiest man in the world." "Most of all I'd like to propose a toast to my wife who's helped me through all my difficulties." "She's fed me and helped me go to the toilet." "She's rocked me to sleep." "She's been absolutely fantastic." "So..." "So, Anna..." "I'm so grateful to be able to spend the rest of my life together with you." "To Anna." " Cheers, then." " Cheers." "That was subtle..." "Top me up, Larsson!" "I never knew cactus could be so tasty!" "Best cactus I've ever drunk!" ""DONT WANT TO BE 2-DIMENSIONAL ANY MORE"" "Thanks for everything." " What a great evening." " Excellent." "Good, eh?" "Maybe the song surprised you." "But I learnt it when I was in China." "But youve never been there." "Youve never been anywhere." "Have a good time, everyone." "A round of applause for Sören H. Lindberg's one-act play:" ""Cancer"" " Hello." "Can I join in?" " Go away." "We can't play with you." "Then along came a little jockey and saw the Cancer's plight." "So he plucked up courage and said:" ""I'd like to play with you!"" "That made the Cancer very happy, so he cuddled the old man, and wanted to be with him in every way he could." "But soon the Cancer became greedy, and started to eat away at the jockey's lithe little body." "Deeper and deeper he ate, until one day the jockey died." "Bad Cancer, bad Cancer." "Chemotherapy for Cancer!" "But Cancer was only doing his job." "It wasn't his fault, that he was put on earth to eat us up slowly from inside." "Thank you." "A round of applause for Trixie, Mikaela, Tommy and Dorinda." "You'll get cancer, you'll get cancer." "Ha, ha, ha." "You'll get cancer!" "Sören was a man of great depth." "He wanted to give himself to us, through food, as a last farewell." "In tribute to all the women who have loved me, and whom I, Sören H. Lindberg, have made love to," "I'd like to take this opportunity to hand out these roses." "The first rose goes to Ulla-Britt." "Here you are, Ulla-Britt." "The next name is Lillemor." "Here's a rose for your long, loyal service." "The next name is Sally." "Do we have a Sally?" "Thank you." "How nice of Sören to remember me." "The next name is Johanna." " A rose..." " Come back, Johanna!" "Next up, Bianca!" "One evening, I said to Johanna:" ""I think its my randiness and joy of life"," ""thats driven me over the years." "What do you think?"" ""You don't want to know," she said." ""I do,"I said." ""Randiness and joy?" "All you know is rage and vindictiveness."" "Thats a bit strong." "Who wants drives like that?" "It's Sören's last wish." "You should feel honoured by this kind gift." "A round of applause for Tarmo from Estonia." "I represent Estonian horse racing." "Tonight I also represent the Estonian people." "We're an oppressed people, but we love horseracing." "And so we're very grateful... for this lovely present that Sören H. Lindberg has given us." "We hope to derive much pleasure from this fine horse." "Maybe Pirog!" " What?" " What do you care about pirogues?" "!" " What's he mean, "Pirog"?" " No idea." "Hello, my friends." "It's great to be back." "Though what do I know?" "This hologram was recorded before I died." "As you can see, I'm not really here." "I come to you in the form of gas." "All my money went on this machine from Dusseldorf." "Instead of an inheritance, I give you something to remember for ever." "Me, a gaseous hologram of gas." "Have fun!" "There was all kinds of food there..." "You've never seen such a party!" "Here they come with the horse." "Yes, it's wearing jeans." "Don't you believe me?" " Ernst." "The job interview." " Yes, tell us how it went." "Hello..." "We work in Euros, all online with the stock market." "Futures here..." "It makes no difference if you're here or at Hagströmmer Qviberg." "But we have a totally different back-up system." "After all, we've got guys outsourced in London, New York and so on." "It's the same network, the same machines, and we're in daily contact." "So in principle you're online to the Nasdaq." "In principle." "In principle, sure." "But tell me about yourself." "Have you been a trader?" "I mean, why do want to work here with us?" " How old are these rooms?" " The rooms?" "The ceilings seem rather low..." "We renovated, modernised, in 1997." "It works well." "What about clothing?" "Clothing? "Clean" I was about to say, but a suit's always good." "Can I have your hairdresser's number?" "It's an intriguing haircut you have." " Really?" " I'd like to copy it." "It's exceptional." "Thin, dry, life-worn." "Like a leached-out corn field." "Ever since I saw "The Sting" I've wanted to be a banker, with an eyeshade and those sleeve protectors..." "Great to get this quick glimpse of you." "We, I, or someone else, will ring you next week and let you know." " Super-duper!" "You'll ring me?" " Yes." "OK?" " Can I finish my coffee?" " Of course." "See you." "No hanging around in banks." "Brief, efficient meetings." "That went quite quickly." " I don't think I'll get that job." " Me neither." "He was going to ring this week, but he hasn't rung..." "Maybe he rang when you weren't in." "I've bought an answering machine and no one's rung." "And then I've tried to ring him a few times but he's always in meetings, so he..." "So he doesn't return my call." "I'll never get a job." "I'm doomed to a life of alienation." "Where can someone like me find a place in this world?" "Can you tell me?" "Well?" "I would love a place." "They're cutting off the power at 11." "Just so as you know." "Johan, last week you promised us you'd stop telling lies in here." " Don't you feel you've grown?" " No, I don't." " I don't feel at all good, actually." " You told us the truth." "The socks..." "Yes, I did." "I regret it." "I regret telling you about my socks." "I've decided." "I'm keeping everything to myself." "I've hidden a new thing in my secret hiding place." "And I will tell no one." "Not anyone here." " Tell us." "What is it?" " I'm not going to say." "What's in the box?" "I get all tingly when I think about what I've hidden in my hiding place." "Mull over that!" "Is it vegetable?" "Can you eat it?" "Stop it!" "I regret ever joining this group!" "It's a real pity that you feel like this." "That our chats do more damage than good." "But surely there was a point to it all?" "That you'd got over the socks?" "Definitely not." "My socks were wonderful." "I miss my socks!" "That evening when your wife found you, Olle." "Tell us about it again." "I've buried all that so deep." "I can't dig all that up again." "Take your time, let it out..." "I want to, really want to..." "I don't see how I can..." "That evening when your wife found you." "Take your time..." " We're here..." " It's like this." "Like this." "She came home early." "She'd been stock-taking in the shop and wasn't feeling well." "So she came home early." "And there was I in bed with another girl I'd met." "So you'd taken another woman to your shared home?" "No, no..." "It was a hotel." "A hotel..." " Which was it?" " It was a hotel!" " So how come she found you out?" " I don't know." "The hotel bill..." "Matches..." "Matches..." "I'll be damned if I know." "Wait..." "So she didn't catch you?" "No..." "Not directly like that." "Wait a minute, I don't get this." "What happened that evening when your wife came home?" "There." "But I've told you." "I..." "Wasn't it like that?" "She came home." "And she heard me playing with my daughter." "But you mentioned a girl..." "What did she catch you doing?" " I said last time." " But what was it?" "We were cuddling." "What's so unusual about that?" "It must've been something unusual as you refer to it all the time." "Dad?" "Are we having pancakes tonight?" " Yes, were having pancakes." " Yummy." " Youre Daddys little fatty." " Youre the fat one." "OK, youre just a little chubby..." "An Eskimo kiss?" "What was so special about just this occasion?" "We cuddled..." "We cuddled and..." "She never liked us doing all that." " Who?" " She felt left out." "She was jealous." "She might've thought there was something going on between us." "There was something going on between us." "It's..." "Daddys little fatty." "Hello." "Olle?" " OK, youre just a little chubby." " Elin!" "She came home." "We were lying in bed, cuddling, and the music stopped." "It's gone dark." "What did I say?" "11 oclock." " I can't believe they've cut us off!" " Wait, I've got a torch." " Hello, there's been a power cut." " We can see that!" "Get out!" "I think you're the pits." "It's getting late anyway." "Let's wind this up..." "No!" "Olle must finish his story." "The art class had a party last night." "I'll go and see if there are any candle stumps left." "We took in a load of strange girls from welfare here." "We helped them get a better life." "Johanna was one of them." "She and Tony became a couple." "Tony was in love with her, and maybe she was in love too." "We didnt talk about that much." "I don't know when it started to get passionate between me and Johanna, but maybe it was when I explained how things worked here." "That she must give a bit in return if she was to have a future here." "And one night he caught us at it." "There I was, messing with his girl." ""What the fuck are you staring at?" I said." "I thought then hed kill me." "But he just slunk away like a shame-faced little boy." ""Sorry", he said." ""Sorry."" "You should never have gone groping our girls, Tony." "It was my place, for Gods sake!" "You couldve had the world." "But you wouldve had to conquer it first, just like I had to." "I was nineteen." "I was nothing." "I wanted a life." "A real life." " Did you get one?" " I'm alive." "So am I." "Dad's dead." "Is he?" "Is he dead?" "I can remember a time of darkness when I lived a meaningless life" "Then I heard his voice from above telling me the road we should take" "He is my song and my joy" "He is my Lord and my God" "Jesus, in your safe hands" "I will rest until the end of time" "After the day of judgement in the new Jerusalem" "I will kneel me down at His feet and He'll say, "Welcome home"" "He is my song and my joy..." "Landin, SSK 5212." "That's the last of them." "We were in the bedroom." "She was there with me." "The music stopped." "I fell into a panic." "Hello?" "Dad, are we having pancakes tonight?" " Yes, we're having pancakes." " Yummy." "Elin!" " You're Daddy's little fatty." " You're the fat one." "OK, you're just a little chubby." "An Eskimo kiss?" " You were very good today." " I scored a goal." "Olle!" "What was that?" "Daddy..." "I'm frightened." "Hi!" "I was with my daughter." " We should stop." " What do you mean, with her?" " We were cuddling." " What do you mean, cuddling?" " We were in bed together." " What were you doing to her?" " Tell us!" " I was between her..." " Between?" " You know..." "No I don't." "Tell us what you did to your daughter!" "I had an erection." "I was between her legs." "Don't you recognise me..." "Dad?" "It's me, Elin." "Your little fatty." "Daddy's little fatty." "This is obviously a delicate situation..." "Can't you be quiet?" "Don't you ever know when you're to be quiet?" " My notes may not be useful to you..." " Shut up!" " I don't need you any more." "Go away." " I will not." "This is my group and..." "Who do you think you are?" "You run a cooking course." "Have you forgotten?" "Well?" "You can just shut up or piss off!" "Elin?" "Elin?" "I have spent my life wondering what's wrong with me." "Why I haven't been like everyone else." "And I've thought that I've always been broken." "And that is because of you." "Until Mum told me what you did to me." "And then I realised." "I realised that it wasn't up here but here that was broken." "I hate you." "...and dancing and Kjell Levrén was happy and..." "This is how I always want it to be." "Can't we do it again?" "No." "I'm tired of this." "I can't do this any more, Christer." "I can't cope." " But didn't you have fun tonight?" " No, I did not have fun." " But everyone else had great..." " Nobody had fun." "They're humouring you." "Don't you see?" "People don't want to hurt you." "So they go along with it." "Nobody's having fun." "You have to slow down." "I don't recognise you." "Why can't you be like you were before?" "But... this is what I'm like!" "I'm ashamed of you Christer." "I'm ashamed for being ashamed." "And Morgan." "Kjell Levrén sitting there telling him..." "Wait." "Where's Morgan?" "I'd best be off." "Bye." "Bye, Olle." "I'll take the glasses." "Here's a little food for you." "Come here, Pussy!" "No!" "No." "Dad!" "Morgan?" "Morgan!" "What are you doing?" "Morgan, my darling boy." "There, there." "What are you doing?" "There, there..." "How's things, Ray?" "All right?" "Are you thirsty?" "I'll see if we've got any more lemonade." "You're not getting stiff?" "That's good." "Hello." "Here comes another one." "Wave!" "It's Jonsson." "Hello." "Hello." "My name's Ray." "What's your name?" "My name's Christer." "Translation:" "J. Evans/N. Betteridge (c) Sveriges Television AB 2003 SRT:" "Lars NOR" "Textadministration:" "Nordisk Undertext AB SRT:" "Lars NOR"