"Ask most kids what their favorite game is, they'll probably say hide-and-go-seek." "I know I loved it." "One mississippi." "Two mississippi..." "For most kids, the fun of the game isn't in the hiding." "The fun is in being found." "But not for me." "I didn't want to be found." "Here I come!" "Ever." "Got you." "They'll never find me." "And they never would." "One mississippi." "Two mississippi." "Three mississippi, four." "Daddy's funny." "It's almost time for bed, Rosie." "But I'm hiding, and you can't find me." "Got you." " Morning, Kiffany." " Morning." "Oatmeal with raisins?" "I'm over the oatmeal." "No more oatmeal." "Having a look at the menu for once." "Am I the first one here?" "No, one of you never left." "Mama?" "Stay out of the kitchen." "Don't let me catch him sleeping back there again." "It's unsanitary." "Wow." "I had this dream last night about waffles, and it was really horrible because I was being chased by a big butter pat, and I couldn't get anywhere because I was waist-high in maple syrup." "Did you really sleep here last night?" "Yeah, it's quite comfortable, actually." "The supple linoleum is quite nice." "Can I have some pancakes?" "If I can see some money." "I'll... cover him." "Ooh, in that case, I'll have some bacon as well, not too crispy." "Not too chewy." "Just in-between." "Why are you sleeping here?" "I told you you could stay with us." "She said I couldn't." "Oh, really?" "She said that she doesn't want me in your house, and she wants nothing more to do with me ever." "I never said that." "What I said was I don't think it's wise for you to live with us." "Since when have I given a fuck about wise?" "Let me make this stunningly simple for you." "You can't live with us." "Okay." "I'll live here." "I'm going to put the "haus" back in der waffle haus, and I'm going to sleep right here, on this lovely bit of naugahyde." "You can't sleep here." "Why not?" "Because it's a place of business, for them and for us." "You don't sleep in your office, do you?" "I've slept in my office." "Really sound sleep too." "Drool all over my keyboard." "Wake up, got no fucking idea where I am." "Look..." "I don't mean to be rude, but I'd like to be left alone." "Meaning?" "Please leave." "I've just ordered breakfast." "Well, get it to go." "Please." "I like your top." "It's very stylish." "Men don't wear tops." "They wear shirts." ""I like your top"?" "What the fuck was that?" "I was just trying to be nice." "If you really wanted to be nice, Daisy, you would take in a boarder." "You know what, Mason?" "I am nice to you, and I want to continue to be nice to you, which is why you cannot live with us, and don't you make promises about our house without consulting with me first." "Fine." "Okay, just so we're clear, that was my house before I gave it to you." "Just so we're clear, that was some old dead woman's house before you stole it." "Keep out of it, Georgie." "Fine." "Things have changed, Mason." "Great, that's perfect." "So I'm on the street." "That's it, then." "Oh, I don't know." "Things change." "Mason, Mason, Mason." "Penny, my darling, how are you?" "So good to see you." " This is Geo" " Hi, George." "How do you guys know each other?" "How do you guys know each other?" "Hey..." "long time no see." "What brings you here?" "I'm here to see the man." "All roads lead to Rube." " Flapjacks, $7.95." " Keep it." "Oh, thank you." " Nice seeing you, sweetheart." " You too." "So you were part of Rube's little post-it squad?" "I was, long before post-its were in vogue." "So I take it you've been dead a while." " That depends." " On?" "What you think a while is." "Penny's been dead forever and a day." "How'd you die?" "Boating accident." "Sailing?" "Water-skiing?" "Fall out of a dinghy?" "Bigger." "Mason... you owe me 200 bucks." "Do-- really, do I?" "You do." " A bet's a bet." " Yeah." "Nice to see you, George." "What was the bet?" "The bet was... we had to guess what year Rube died." "Whoever won got the two hundred." "What was your guess?" "I have no idea, and it was 30 years ago, so I'm not paying." "1927." "Now someone owes me 200 bucks." "Hey, Reg, how are you doing?" "Fine." "Do you want some oatmeal with raisins?" "I'm sick of oatmeal." "No more oatmeal." "Then why don't you take a breakfast bar." "There's maple." "There's cranberry." "There's maple cranberry." "What are you doing?" "Sweetie, I know this is hard, but I have to pack away all of J.D.'S things." "No, you don't." "You're right, I don't, but I want to." " I think it's best." " I don't." "We all miss J.D... very much." "Then why are you throwing away his shit?" "You know, Reggie, all the qualities you could inherit from your sister, does foul language need to be one of them?" " Why are you doing this?" " I'm not throwing away anything." "I'm labeling and storing his things so that maybe, when we're ready, we could get another dog." "What if J.D. comes back?" " Sweetie, he's not." " Maybe it wasn't him." "I didn't even look at that dog very long after it happened." "Honey." " What color is George?" " What?" "What color did you label george's stuff?" "I don't remember." "The shit you didn't sell in the yard sale." "We need to accept that J.D.'S gone, sweetie." " I'm giving J.F. a bath." " Who's J.F.?" "The frog George left me." "Reggie." "Why do you believe that George left you that frog?" "Because she knew I needed it." "No, honey, what I mean is..." "Okay, you know what?" "I think you need to go with your father and I to the pet parlor." "Yeah, you know?" "You could get out of school a little early." " Would you like that?" " No." "Keep the frog out of the bathtub." " What can I get you?" " The usual." " Iced tea without the ice?" " That's it." "To go, please." "Thank you." "You still doing that "no ice" nonsense?" "Hey, you go down with the Titanic, see how you feel about ice." "Fair enough." "For the record..." "I'm not doing this, but seeing as we go back a ways..." "Is this your reap?" "I don't know if I'm doing you a favor." "I don't either." "Thanks, Kiffany." " Don't be a stranger." " Okay." " Well, look who's here." " Oh, my god, Roxy." " I heard you were a cop." " From who?" "Oh, you know, the old grapevine." "You look great." "You look great." "I look like I always look." "To what do we owe this honor?" "His daughter's going to die today." "Take care of the old fool." "I'm sorry." "I tried to talk Daisy into it." "Georgie, please." "Come on." "I would make a really bloody great roommate, you know?" "I make these boysenberry cobblers that would bring tears to your eyes." "Actually, your breath is bringing tears to my eyes." "You know what?" "I could be the watchdog, you know, security." "Seriously, Mason, you need to get close to a toothbrush." "Oh, god." "I'll live off the wild, you know?" "I've got cunning." "I've got street smarts." "Wait, you lived to what, 27?" "I know, but all I know is I'm born for jungle life." "I could do this." "Last time I checked, you didn't exactly have the greatest success in street sales." "Come on, look." "He's doing really well." "I could do this." "That's because he's cute, and he can sing." "I'm cute." "George." "That dollar could be part of the "Free Mason" fund." ""Free Mason." Good one." "I don't get it." "You're really good." "Thanks." "You work around here?" "Sort of." "I work different places, everywhere, really." "So I guess you work here." "Just moved here from New York." "I was playing all over Manhattan." "That's impressive." "No, well, I was... playing in the subway system." "It feels good to be outside again." "I was underground for a year." "I just feel so alive again." " Enjoy that while you can." " Okay." "Okay, really nice to meet you, my rock brother, you know?" "Keep on keeping on, and live fast, die young." "You know, leave a good-looking corpse, and here's a quarter." "I love your voice." "Bye." "Uh, bye." "Mason, I was getting some piano-man attention." "Okay, but don't kill that moment by prolonging it by George, and I stole his money." "Mason, he knows you stole his money." "One mississippi." "Two mississippi." "Reapers are supposed to hide." "I mean, sure, you might bump into us on the street, but that's nobody." "Three mississippi, four..." "We stay in the shadows where no one will ever find us." "Georgia Lass." " What?" " What?" "I mean, who?" "Georgia Lass." "I don't know who that is." "You must have heard about her." "Poor thing." "A piece of the soviet space station fell right out of the sky and... pfft." "Right." "I do remember." "Georgia Lass." "All right, I got it." "I hired her last year, and let me tell you something." "This Georgia Lass..." "Was the most fascinating woman you'd ever met?" "She disturbed me, and I can't quite shake her." "This is for the personnel files." "I want you to bring me her file, and Millie..." "What?" "The personnel files are for executives only." "Remember, Georgia" "Jesus, I heard you the first three times." " Hey, Reggie, how you doing?" " Fine." " Can I get you anything?" " No." " Your dad's here." " Go away." "Usually, you can't compete with the dead." "No one speaks ill of the dead." "Dead people are always nicer, prettier, smarter..." "Death has a way of cleaning up a girl's reputation." "So, what the fuck did Georgia Lass ever do to Delores?" "Actually, the better question was what the fuck did Georgia Lass ever do?" "Is she coming down?" "She's staring at her new frog." "Okay." "Listen, Clancy..." "Reggie-- oh, never mind." "No, Joy." "No never mind." "No, it's really nothing." "Joy, how can I parent her if I don't know what the hell I'm dealing with here?" "Reggie thinks J.D. isn't dead." "That's completely normal." " She thinks George left her the frog." " That's not." "I think it's time she went back into counseling." "Hi, Joy." "Got a minute?" "Oh, actually, Claire, you know what?" "I really don't right now." " Oh, hi, Clancy." " Claire." "I just wanted to tell you that three of my best friends saw how you organized my kitchen, and every single one of them wants to call you." "Oh, that's-- that's great... but maybe we could talk about this tomorrow, okay, because now is just not so great a time." "And I also wanted to ask you if you would take a look at my present-wrapping station." "I think I could set it up a little better in the family room" "What about "now's not a good time" don't you understand?" " Clancy." " Excuse me?" "You left the gate to our yard open?" "I don't know what you're talking about." " The hell you don't." " Clancy." "No, Joy, let's say it." "This is the woman who complains about our dog taking a crap into her precious flowers and then, suddenly, the dog is accidentally let out and then dies." "He's just upset." "He loved the dog." "I'm sorry for your loss... again." " I'm going to go now." " You do that." "Try not to kill any more dogs." "Jesus Christ, Clancy, I still live here." " I have to see her." " Things have to be said." "So." "Counseling for Reggie." "Or whoever's interested and available." "I just feel sick, sick and tired... and I miss the stupid dog." "I miss you." "I miss my daughters." "I miss everything." "Who the fuck you calling insolent?" "When interviewing, they tell you to relax, to just be yourself." "Well, look what that got me." "I'm already dead." "Curiosity can't kill me." "I bet they all lied to Delores." "What are they all hiding?" "What's the real story?" "So, Misty?" " Any children?" " No." " Are you single?" " Yes." "Misty." "I have two children, Sassoon and Jordache, and..." "I think I'm still married in the state of Louisiana and probably Kansas." "Topeka's in Kansas, isn't it?" "Special forces, Crystal?" "God, I couldn't even land this job without a note from my mom." "I guess everybody owes somebody else something, something they have to do." "Hi, Rosie." "What are you doing up?" "You should be asleep, peanut." "Where are you going?" "Go back to sleep." "But I'm up now." "Where are you going, papa?" "I'm going to get a few things your mother needs." "When are you coming back?" "Soon." ""I'll be loving you" sing it, papa." "I'll be loving you always with a love that's true always when things you've planned need a helping hand" "I will understand always" "Hell, no, you can't live with me." "Why not?" "Because you can't." "Why?" "Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?" "Because I live there, and you drive me fucking nuts as it is." "Okay." "I'm homeless and proud of it." "Well, you should be." "All these fucking assumptions society makes, man." "It's, like, you know, get a job, eat food, live in a house." "It's fascism, that is, absolute fucking fascism." "I won't take it." "I'm going to live in the moment." "I'm living off the land." "Sounds like loitering." "Please, let me live with you, Roxy." "Please, I'll sleep in the bloody bathtub." "Then what will I tell my boyfriend?" "What?" "See?" "You don't know me." "Okay." "Live off the land." "Fucking pioneer." "All right, I'm going to stake my own claim and claim my own steak." "I mean, it's just like picking berries, really, isn't it?" "Ugh." "Foraging in nature." "Did you take that man's steak?" "He was finished, and we wouldn't want to waste food, now, would we, Kiffany, not when there are children starving in Boston." "How about my paying customer?" "I'll have a cobb salad, Kiffany." "You're making all the wrong moves, Mason." "Right." "Coffee?" "No, thank you." "I know you didn't just steal that money from me." "I was keeping it safe for you." "I wanted you to get-get it." "You're out." "Out?" "That's right." "Out of my house." " This is Der Waffle Haus." " And you're der-out-of-here." "Kiffany, I've had a really bad... couple of days." "That's one cobb salad, and he better be gone by the time I get back." "You heard what the lady said." "You got to go." "No." "Have you ever heard of police brutality?" "Because that is police brutality." "You really don't get it, do you, Mason?" "This is our home, and you just pissed all over it." "I was living off the fat of the land." "No, what you were doing was disrespecting the last place you actually belong and the only living person you know that puts up with your freeze-dried bullshit." "Do you call that putting up with me?" "I'd call that breaking the camel's back." "Enjoy the streets, Mason, that's all you got." " Sorry about that." " Yeah." "Me too." "I feel like I've been here before." "You've buried an animal here before?" "No, but..." "I'm having the most powerful sense of deja vu." "It's weird." "Good afternoon." "I'm Jed." "Can I offer you folks a cold beverage or a snack?" "No, thank you." "I'm good." "Reg?" "No, thanks." "You've looked over the options for burial and cremation?" "Are there any questions?" "I feel like I've been here before." "Is that crazy?" "You probably remember it in its previous incarnation... as a Foster's Freeze." "I was on the grill, and my wife was on the till." " Is she a redhead?" " More auburn, really." "No real future in milkshakes, I'm afraid." "Death just makes much better business sense." "Well... congratulations." "Thank you." "That's for your smaller dog, your yorkie, your lhasa apso, your shih tzu, your chihuahua, and your wiener dog, anything in your toy group." "J.D. Was a big dog." "He was a golden retriever." "Well, I'm sure he was a very beautiful dog." "He really was." "Uh, I think we might need some more time to discuss this as a family." "Absolutely." "You and your husband and your daughter, you take all the time you want, okay?" "Actually, we're..." " Yeah." " Okay." "You know what?" "Why don't we take J.D. home and do this together?" " Would that be okay, Reg?" " Okay." "The things we do for love." "Ray." "Go away." " Dead girl, coming through." " Oh, Millie, that's terrible." "Just stating the facts." " Well, let's see what we have here." " Not much." "I-- not that I was looking at it." "It's just kind of, you know... thin." "Well, you're in the know now." "Might as well hear this with me." ""Attitude-- insolent."" "Don't you think the better word would be... saucy?" "Am I right or am I right?" "She was saucy." ""Without manners." "No respect for authority."" "Kids today, I tell you." ""Ambition-- none."" "Maybe she just didn't share her ambition with you." "Well, I certainly didn't see any." ""Future forecast-- won't last long."" "Well, you nailed that one." " Her poor mother." " Yeah." "At least she was pretty." "What's she going to think when she reads this?" "Why would she do that?" "She came to see me." "I told her I'd give her my paperwork on her daughter." "I felt it was the least I could do." "Such a short life." "Anything she might have touched, it's precious." "You can't show that to her mother." "Millie." "I trash-talked a dead girl on this page, and now I to have to live with that." " Well, it's not too late" " Oh, Millie, it is." "No, it's not!" "A little white-out and no one's the wiser." "Are you suggesting we tamper with official happy time documents?" "I'm not saying..." "I'm just saying..." "That's against everything I stand for." "Not everything." "Not everything you taught me." "It's just..." "It's the right thing to do." "Do you want to type or should I?" "I know what to do." "I still think we should say she was a misunderstood genius." "I think she was complicated, Millie." "She wasn't a genius." "But she seemed smart, right?" "Very." "And funny." "An odd charm, a certain je ne sais quoi..." "I know exactly what to write." "I know what will make her mother proud." "What?" "I'm going to base her on you." "I thought we wanted to make her seem... impressive." "You are impressive." "I've watched you." "In one year, Millie, in one short year, you've grown into a fine young woman." "I'm sure Georgia's mom will be pleased." "Maybe there are no second chances in life..." "Done." "But then again, what do I know?" "It's a hard way to earn a living." "Any day above ground is a good one, right?" "Yeah, enjoy that while you can." "Ray." "You know, I'm kind of a gym rat." "Yeah." "Yeah, spin class, yoga... a little tae bo." "Look, baby, I don't want to brag, but I'm hung like a jury." "My name's Pete." "Dollar for a tune?" "Doesn't it bother you, having to depend on other people's handouts?" "I've always relied on the kindness of strangers." "Well, I've played Blanche Dubois for a lifetime, so..." " So you must get it." " I do." " What was that?" " It's for luck." "If you've got a good one, now would be the time." "No, I can go all night." "I'm like an animal, baby." "Yeah, I'm dangerous." "I'm like a bull moose in heat." "Mm!" "Credit card?" "What, you need my credit card already?" "I mean, we hardly know each other." "All we're doing is talking here, right?" "I mean, for god's sake, nI've still got my pants on." "Holy shit." "Fuck me." "No, no, not you, sweetheart." "Staring at a maple leaf leaning on the mother tree" "I said to myself" "What happened?" "Did you kill me?" "No." "I'm your reaper." "You died and..." "Uh-oh." "Am I dead?" "Go away." "I haven't figured out who she is yet." "I'll let you know." "She's over there." "That's Rosie." "I don't think I can do this." "We think we can't do something." "We think we can't, we think we can't, we think we can't... but we can." "Okay, boy." "Sweetie, do you want to say something?" "I'm sure J.D. would like it if you did." " Dear J.D." " It's not a letter, sweetheart." " Clancy." " Sorry." "Dear J.D... if you see George, tell her I say, "hey."" "Tell her it's all right to come back... and tell her thanks for the frog." "Okay, well, that was lovely, sweetheart." "I'm not done." "Good." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I left the gate open." "I'm sorry I got you killed." "Leaving the gate open didn't kill J.D., sweetheart." "There's lots of dogs who run all over the place, and they're okay." "J.D. died... because it was just time for that to happen." "It's not your fault, sweetheart." "None of it is." "I didn't say you could sit down." "These are for you." " Did you steal those?" " No." " I picked them." " From where?" "The forest." "Posies don't grow in the shade." "Okay, I picked them from somebody's yard, but there were literally thousands-- actually, millions of them, so I don't think they'll be missed, and the point is, I picked them for you, so that's got to say something?" "If you stole them, I don't want them." "I'm sorry." "Kiffany... that was terrible of me." "I shouldn't have stolen your tip." "It wasn't my table." "It was Kirstin's." "I don't understand it." "If it wasn't your tip, why are you so mad at me?" "We pool our tips." "If someone has a good morning, everyone has a good morning." "If someone gets stiffed, everybody gets stiffed." "Do you understand what that means?" "I don't understand why you don't want your posies." "I don't think you understand the meaning of the word "house."" " It's a place where I can sleep." " A place where you can feel safe." "I don't feel safe anywhere." "I've been having a fuck of a time lately, Kiffany..." "Just a world of pain..." "Same old, same old, eh?" "Sit." "I work hard." "I take orders." "I bring people their food." "It's very simple." "No mystery." " You know why I stay here?" " Because you love waffles?" "It's a clean, well-lighted place... and I feel safe." "Here." " I don't know what to say." " Say, "thank you."" " Thank you." " You're welcome." "Hey." "You can't sleep here." "So..." "I guess I have to apologize to Claire." "That'd be nice." "Or you could apologize for me." "No." "What a fucking day." "Yeah." "So, what's for dinner?" "I don't know but you should probably go." "I just thought..." "I mean, if Reggie needs anything." "Yeah, thanks... but you should probably go home." " You were a good father today." " Thanks." "Doesn't make you a good husband." "I know." "Would you like to go for a walk?" "No." "Are you hungry?" "I think they're serving dinner." "No." "I'm waiting for someone." " Hi, Rosie." " Hi, papa." "I'm sorry." "Where are you going?" "Shh." "It's all right." "Go to sleep." ""I'll be loving you" sing it, papa." "I'll be loving you always with a love that's true" "always and the things you've planned need a helping hand" "I will understand always, always days may not be fair always that's when I'll be there always" "not for just an hour not for just a day not for just a year" "but always" "Are you leaving again, papa?" "No, Rosie." "I'm not going anywhere." "He's not staying here." "You're being totally selfish." "That's a fine sentiment coming from you." " Excuse me?" "I am the most" " Self-involved is what you are, Georgia." "You are always in your own head." "It's like you're talking to yourself." "Am I?" "She has got a point, Georgie." " Shut up, Mason." " Fine." "Jesus." "He can have dinner with us." "But then he has to go." "He can't stay." "So, what?" "Is he a dog now?" "Should we just put his food in a bowl and leave it out back?" "I actually wouldn't mind that." "Shut the fuck up, Mason." "I am trying to protect him." "How is kicking someone to the curb going to protect them?" "You just think everyone is in love with you." "Well, maybe they aren't." "Maybe they just need a place to feel safe." "That was very mean, Georgia." "But not entirely inaccurate." "Enough, Mason." "No one is safe here." "This is where you killed him." " He's not coming back." " He did." "Today." "There was supposed to be one death, and there were two, and if Mason stays here, he's just going to get angrier and angrier." " Don't you get it?" " Well... it's my house too... and I'm not scared of anything." "Fine." " Thanks, Georgie." " No problem-O." " Stay out of my bedroom..." " That's no fun, my darling." "And if you're not scared, you're just a fool." "Oh, goodness, gracious me." "Ghost stories?" "Paint each other's toenails?" "Just go to sleep, Mason." "You'll stay here for a little bit, will you?" "Sure." "Pull the covers over your head." "No way." "It always made me more scared, being in the dark." "Will you leave the light on?" "I'll just stay here until you fall asleep." "I don't think I'll ever fall asleep again." "One mississippi." "Two mississippi." "Mason." "I guess there's always something out there to hide from, something out there you just can't face." "Three mississippi." "Four mississippi." "So you'll hide for as long as you can... but that's not easy either," "all that hiding..." "Five mississippi." "In the end, what you were so afraid of turns out not to be so scary after all." "Six mississippi, seven." "Because you have to know that if you're hiding, more often than not, your fears will come looking for you." "Come out, come out, wherever you are." "I never liked you, Ray." "Olly, oily, oxen free."