"Hey, you guys are up early." "Well, we didn't have any choice." "Someone was running the shower at 4am, singing "Heigh-ho, heigh-ho."" "That's 'cause it's off to work I go." "So now they want you at the TV station before school?" "Yeah." "If I get there early enough I get to help Jimmy Jellybean lace up his floppy feet." "We all know how much the kids love their floppy feet, right, Morgan?" "Uh..." "I thought you were just interning for the news." "I am." "When Jimmy Jellybean takes off his nose, he's Arnie Cohen with sports." "Wait, I learned about potty training from a sportscaster?" "Oh, that's just wrong." "Eric, wait." "Whoa." "Hey." "You're giving Cory a ride to school, remember?" "Dad, you know how much I love driving Miss Cory, but I can't be late for work." "You know, if you were this devoted to your schoolwork, you wouldn't need this internship to pass journalism." "OK, now, first of all, I wasn't failing journalism because of lack of devotion." "I was failing because I was lazy and didn't do the work." "See the difference?" "I don't need a new toy chest." "I can store all my toys in his head." "Besides, this internship is the single most important thing" "I've ever done in my entire life." "I mean, come on, little bro." " You can walk, can't you?" " In this blizzard?" "Oh, sure." "I'll just trudge all the way to school, freeze my butt off, and walk through life buttless." "Good deal." " He used to listen to us, didn't he?" " (door closes)" "Did you listen to your parents when you were 18?" "Well, he's not 18 yet." "By law I can still tell him what to do for two more days." "Cor, if you wait I'll give you a ride." "Nah, that's OK, Mom." "I'm a big boy now." "I think I'm man enough to handle a couple of little snowflakes." "It's the end of the world!" "So, Lincoln freed the slaves for political, as well as moral, reasons, demonstrating again that this war was far less civil than its name implies." "(bell rings)" "But far more civil than I will be if I don't see your papers on my desk by tomorrow." "Mr. Matthews." " Thanks for dropping by." " Hey." "Great class, Mr. Feeny." "Two thumbs up." "Eric." "This internship was supposed to earn you credits," " not keep you from graduating." " Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh." "Mr. Feeny, I'm here now, and once I'm in your school" "I give you no less than a hundred percent." " (pager beeps)" " Gotta go." "Yeah, picking up the weekend anchor's toupee at the airport." "It's real panda hair from China." "It's all black, with a little bit of white right about here." " But you didn't hear that from me." " Mr. Matthews." "Yeah." "Do your paper, or don't graduate." "But you didn't hear that from me." "You know, Dana, having a girlfriend has been such a good influence on me." "I mean, look at us." "We're just hanging out here, studying." "We sure are." " Are you reading?" " No, are you?" "No." "Uh, I thought you said Dana was coming over to do homework." "Look, I'm sorry." "But, you know, you're supposed to be at school." "Dana's mom's about to pick her up, and, you know, John, it'd be nice to have a little privacy." "And we were doing homework, Mr. Turner." "Besides, I kissed him first." "I mean, look at this face." "You know, it actually looks better when you do that." "(door bell)" "Oh, that must be my mom." " Hi." " Hi." " Uh, I'm here for Dana." " Oh, uh, she's right here." "Come on in." " Thanks." "Hi." " Hey, Mrs. Maguire." "Hi." "Maguire?" "I thought your last name was Pruitt." " It is." "Her father and I are divorced." " Oh, I'm sorry." "No, it's been a long time." " Really?" " Mom, this is Mr. Turner." " This is Old Man Turner?" " (Jonathan laughs)" "Yeah, my walker's in the shop." "John..." "Oh, Dana." "We should get going." " It was nice to meet you, Mr. Turner." " Oh, gosh." "Call me John." " Call me Susan." " I just may do that." "OK, OK." "Let's go." "Goodbye." "Get out." "Keep moving." "What kind of disgusting display was that?" " What?" "I was just being friendly." " You were all over her." "Oh, I was not." "And, you know, just for safety reasons, if you're ever over there and I need to get ahold of you what's her number?" "1-800 take a cold shower." "Shawn, I'm not gonna ask her out." " Why can't I ask her out?" " Because she's my girlfriend's mother." "And, frankly, there's something just sick about this whole situation." "Shawn, relax." "I'm not gonna call her." "(phone rings)" "Hello?" "Susan." "It's Dana's mom." "From the car." "So, while you're bundling up and hiding from bad old Mr. Blizzard, your pal Cal is gonna be soaking up the sun and the sand on a Caribbean vacation." "So until then, Philadelphia, this is Cal Kilbride, saying the sun doesn't always shine, but, boy, I sure do!" " The man's a genius." " And we're out." "Great, Cal." " Eric, I need that stock footage." " On your desk." " And I need the overnight ratings." " On your desk." "And, uh... and my dog?" "Being neutered as we speak." " I said just a shampoo." " What?" "Joke!" "Laugh!" " You're doing great, Eric." " Hey..." "Look, Pat, just between you and me." "Do you ever get nervous hanging around a big star like Cal Kilbride?" " Big fan, huh?" " Oh, are you kidding?" "Ever since I first saw Cal, all I ever wanted to be was a weatherman." "The power of it, affecting millions of people." "What do they wear?" "Do they wear a sweater, sunscreen, gloves, snow tires?" "Yes, no, what do they do?" "Well, then, say hi." "Eric, you're part of the team." "Cal - he's a regular guy." "He's like everybody else." "Just make sure you approach him from his left." " He's got a thing about his other side." " OK." "Uh, excuse me, Mr. Kilbride?" "Hi, I'm Eric Matthews." "I'm the new intern." "Thank you very much." "Look, I just want to say what an honor it is to be working here with a man like you, and if there's anything that you need to have done, you know, you can just call me anytime, no matter how small or personal it might be." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, boy." "I don't believe in that pecking-order garbage around here." "Come on, we're all equals on this ship, huh?" "From me on top, all the way down to you." "Oh, by the way, could I get my pants hemmed?" " I'd be honored." " Great." "Thank you, Eric." "Do a good job on the pants, who knows?" "Hey, hey, Matthews." "Nice to see you finally showing up around here." "That looks like Johnny Higgins, the weekend anchor." "Yeah." "It's his hair." "You didn't hear that from me, though, all right?" "Matthews, this internship doesn't excuse you from the classwork." "You know, Mr. Williams, I would love to stay and chat," " but if this doesn't go on, he doesn't go on." " Hey, Matthews, wait..." "Hey, thanks a lot for helping me get that internship." "Man, that is some blizzard out there, huh?" "Yeah, so blizzardy you came to the wrong place." "You overshot the school by about six miles." "So did you." "Come on, Mr. Williams." "I had to come in." "I mean, with the weather they had a lot of no-shows." "And I've had one." "You." "Now look, man." "I'm on your side, but you are not a strong enough student to keep up your grades and spend all your time here." "Where's Rich Herrera?" "I'm on the air in two minutes and I don't have a backup weatherman." " Eli, shut up." " Hey." "You're gloating 'cause you don't work for me anymore." "Pat, all the time we spent together, you think that I would gloat?" "A minute 45." "Hey, hey, Pat, this isn't a problem." "Just have Arnie Cohen do it after sports." "Arnie?" "The man's half-clown." "Come on, Pat." "I mean, anybody can do this." "Look, you walk over here, you find your mark, you pick up the clicker, hm?" "Watch the monitor, point to the map, big smile..." "And now back to you, Connie." " Where'd you learn to do that?" " I've been studying Cal." "35 seconds." " Eric, why don't you do it?" " Do what?" " The weather." " Me?" "You do a good job, we both look good." "You screw up..." "Don't." "Now get in there and have some fun." "Oh, I'm filling in for Cal Kilbride." "I think I'm gonna cry." "There's no time." "No time." "Here we go." "In five, four, three, two... (man) And now, the WIXB five o'clock report." "With Connie Yamaguchi, Arnie Cohen, sports, and, filling in for vacationing Cal Kilbride," "Eric Matthews, weather." "That's me!" "So, huh?" "Did you see me?" "You were so good, and you were so handsome." " Way to go, pal." " Bravo, Eric." " Oh, thank you, Mr. Feeny." " You know, when you were three years old and you told us you wanted to be a weatherman, we shouldn't have taken you to that doctor." "OK, now, Mr. Feeny, I can ask you this 'cause you don't love me as much as them." "Did you like me better on the five or ten o'clock edition?" "I'm actually here to talk about your history paper and the classes you've missed." "Eric, Mr. Feeny says that you're in serious danger of not graduating." "But you are very lucky because he's gonna allow you to make up the work." "Great." "What do I have to do?" "A 2,000-word essay on reconstructionism after the Civil War." " Fine." "Done." "When do you need it?" " On my desk by three o'clock, Friday." "Ooh." "Not in my five-day forecast." "I'm on call all week." "Well, put it in your forecast, pal." "You're doing that essay." "Dad, I can't possibly do both, and..." "You can't be asking me to give up the station." "I mean, I finally found something I'm good at." " This isn't a discussion." " Eric, think about this." "I have." "And I'm going back to the station." "I mean, that is where I belong." "I don't belong in the back of some classroom pretending to listen." "No offense, Mr. Feeny." "Eric, you see, that is your problem." "You don't listen." "Dad, look, I'm gonna be 18 tomorrow, in..." "like, less than an hour." " I think I can make my own decisions." " Eric," "I urge you to reconsider." " There's nothing more to think about." " Eric, are you, or are you not, going to go to school tomorrow?" "I'm not going." "I can't believe I'm related to a dropout." "He's not a dropout." "Yet." "No, he's just taking a leave of absence, right?" "You know, like the guy with the tinfoil hat who pushes the baby carriage filled with empty tuna-fish cans." "Looks like I'm gonna be the first Matthews to graduate from college." " What about me?" " Yeah, right." "Morning." " Morning." " Morning." " Oh, Eric..." " Look, Cor," "I'm really not in the mood right now, all right?" "OK." "I was just gonna wish you a happy birthday." "Hey." "Take a hat." "Another storm front's coming in." " You know, you're pretty good at that stuff." " Cory, school." "Oh, I'm there." ""Cory Matthews?" "Here."" "So, I hope we had a good night's rest." " Slept like a baby." " 'Cause you are one." "Alan, we agreed." "We'll cool down, clear our heads, and have a logical discussion in the morning." "Right." "Eric, honey, I know that last night was like a dream come true to you." "Look, Mom, I know where this is going, and I know what I'm doing." "I'm going back to the station." " And I'm going to yell." " Alan, it is not going to help." "No." "I am not gonna remain quiet while my son makes the biggest mistake of his life." "Now, you may be some big-shot weatherman down at channel whatever it is, but here you're still my son, living in my house." "Yeah, but I'm 18 today." "Fine." "You wanna play adult?" "Then let's play." "You want to continue sleeping in that room of yours upstairs, you pay rent." "Car insurance." "You pay that too." "Groceries." "Are you starting to get the idea?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I get it." "I get that you two don't realize how important this job is to me." "And you know something?" "If paying rent is my birthday present, well, then, happy birthday to me." "Here." "You want your rent?" "Here." "Here is your rent." "Well... breakfast, anyway." " Eric." " What?" "!" "Happy birthday." "Thanks, Mom." "Alan..." "Where are they?" "Where are they?" "I mean, what kind of date goes past nine o'clock?" "Shawn, will you stop?" "Your pacing is making me nervous." "Oh, and your nagging, like that's helping me?" "See what their going out is doing to us?" "You're right." "You're right, Dana." "We shouldn't fight." " We still have our relationship." " Which is going quite well." "Wait!" "What if they really like each other, and get married?" " I'm gonna call the restaurant." " Yeah, good." " Where'd they go?" " Some Italian restaurant." "OK." "OK." "Italian, Italian." "There's more than one!" " Hi, guys." " Stay out of trouble?" "We should be asking you the same thing." " What are you staring at?" " OK, OK." "I'm just checking to see if she left any lip prints." "Who are you calling "she"?" "She happens to be my mother." "She happens to be seducing my buddy over here." " Guys..." " Mom, I think we've been insulted enough." " Let's go." " No, no, no." "Nobody's going anywhere." "We have something to tell you." "Sit." " Oh, no." " We're sisters." "Hold it, hold it, hold it." "Nobody's nobody's sister." " Look, we had a great time tonight." " Oh, no." "But we decided that it would be too awkward for you guys, so we're not gonna see each other anymore." "What?" "My mother isn't good enough for you?" "You just never gave him a chance." "Dana?" " Dana?" " (door slams)" "And as Blizzard Watch '96 continues, schools tomorrow are once again closed." "Oh, that takes me back." "We're gonna..." "This just in." ""We just received a call from Principal George Feeny, who said it's gonna take more than 32 inches of snow to close down John Adams High."" ""And, Eric, your report is still due."" "Happy hundredth birthday, Mr. Feeny." "Let's take one last look at the big map, shall we?" " (all) Happy birthday!" " Oh!" "Oh, guys." "That is so nice." "Who told you?" " You did." " Oh, well, uh, I guess I did." "I'd just like to say thank you." "These last couple of days have been like a dream come true to me." "I'll see you tomorrow, Philadelphia." "And we're out." "Guys, thank you so much." "What a nice thought." "Hey, I'm cutting the cake." "Oh." "Pat, Pat." "The birthday wishes, the balloons, the cake, but especially the job - this is the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me." "Look, there's not a nice way to tell you this, and I really appreciate you helping me out, but I..." "I got a real weatherman coming down from Boston." "I'm sorry?" "You did great, Eric." "Then how come you're firing me?" "Come on, you're a kid." "You didn't expect me just to hand you the job full time?" "No, no." "I was just having a lot of fun, you know, but..." "Yeah, I guess it was too good to be true." "Hey, you know, I love being an intern here, so I'll see you tomorrow." "Bright and early?" "Hey, now, after being on the air, you really think you can go back to being a gofer?" "I gotta do something." "I mean, I'm not in school anymore." " What do you mean?" " Well, I kinda dropped out." "You know, to give you guys a hundred percent." "Oh, Eric." "We got a problem here." "You do know the internship's only open to students?" "No." "No, no, no, no." "Pat, don't do this to me." "I mean, you can't take this away from me." "This is all I have." "I got noplace else to go." "This whole thing, it's not fair." "Look, Eric, I..." "I tell you what, after college, you give me a call, I'll be happy to give you a job." "You're a good man." "Your parents should be real proud." "Cardboard." "Figures." "Oh, Eric." "There you are." " Dad?" " Yeah." "Look, Dad, if you came down here to fight some more," " I really don't have the strength, all right?" " No." "No, no." "I just came down to see how you're doing." "See where you work." "Well, you know, this place looks a lot bigger on TV, doesn't it?" " Dad, what are you doing here?" " Uh, well, I came down here 'cause..." "Well, I really blew it this morning and I really need to tell you something." "What?" "You know, after high school I never went to college." "I went right into the navy." " I know that." " Yeah, well, what you don't know is how angry my dad was." "Angry enough not to wish you a happy birthday?" "I deserve that." "Well, he took out all his frustrations on me, the way I did on you, and things were never the same between me and him after that." "Look, I don't have to agree with what you did, I mean, dropping out of school made life a lot harder for me, but that gives me no right to turn my back on you." "You're my son." "Always." "I know that." "And I don't want to make the same mistake my father did." "Neither do I." "Happy birthday, son." "Happy birthday, Dad." "You know what I mean." "(clears throat)" "Mr. Matthews." "You're pretty early for someone who's no longer a student." "Uh..." "Yeah, I thought about that." "I thought about it all night, actually, while I was writing this." " Your history paper." " Yep." "It's just what you wanted." "20,000 words on the Civil War." "I said 2,000." "Whoa!" "Uh..." "That should do." "Just like that, hm?" "It can be that easy?" "You walk in here, turn in your paper, and all is forgotten." "Mr. Feeny, please." "I just had my butt kicked out there in the real world." "They fired me, and I really need somebody to cut me some slack." "Why should I cut you some slack?" "You got a job, you lost a job, so go and find another one." "Without a high-school diploma?" "You know, Mr. Feeny, I don't know if you know this or not, but it's really tough out there." " Is it really?" " Yeah." "Well, then, perhaps you did learn something from that internship." "Welcome back." " Thank you, Mr. Feeny." "I..." " Don't hug me." "(bell rings)" "Um, you know, I think there's one open in back." "I would like to shift gears slightly, and discuss those traveling entrepreneurs called the carpetbaggers." "It's good to be like this again, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Back at each other's lips instead of each other's throats." "And so what if your mom wanted to date Mr. Turner." "You know, it probably shouldn't have affected us." "I think we kinda acted a little immature." "Two people should be free to date whoever they want." "I totally agree." "We should just put this thing in the past and move on." " I know my mom has." " Yeah, so has Mr. Turner." "I mean, he's supposed to meet a date here tonight, at Chubbie's." "Isn't that great, Dana?" "Dana?" "Dana?" "Oh, my God!" "Mr. Turner's hitting on my aunt." "We're gonna be cousins." "(both scream)"