" phone's for you." " I didn't hear it ring." "I was on another call." "I think it's Harvey." "Well why didn't you say so." "Scat!" "I hate when she says that." "Hello?" " Hey Sabrina." " Hi Harvey." " I've got a question." " Sure, ask away." "What page are we supposed to read for Mr. Pool's class?" "Um just the chapter on digestion up to the large intestine." "Is that it?" "No." "Actually I'm not calling about homework, that was just an excuse." "It was?" "For what?" "I really called to say," "Sabrina I think you're the prettiest girl in school." " You do?" " Yeah." "And there's something else I wanna tell you." " What?" " I like squid!" "I like it a lot!" "Squid rocks!" " Who is this?" " It's Harvey:he:he:he:he!" "Salem!" "You are so neutered!" "1x09:" "Magic Joel Original Airdate: 11/15/1996" "...And if the soccer team wins again tomorrow we get to go to the play:offs." "Sabrina, did you hear what I said?" "Sure!" "You were saying something about... something?" "You're not paying attention." "You keep looking around." "I was sort of expecting Harvey to show up." "So er what were you saying about... school?" "I wasn't saying anything about school." "I was saying that if the soccer team wins again tomorrow..." "Wait!" "Harvey here!" "Pretend like we're talking." "We are talking" "Hi guys!" "Hi Harvey." "Sabrina, would you be up for a game of foozball?" "Oh actually I was just talking to Emma." "That's okay, you go and play." "I'll finish my story later." "Good, because I really wanna hear the end of it... and the beginning." "Okay!" "Let's foos!" "I lead forty:two to thirty:eight." "Yeah but you're going down today." "Ball up!" "Spin!" "Spin!" "You're on the ropes!" "Hey Harvey!" "Hi Libby." "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAOAOAAAAAAAAAL!" "What?" "Um goal." " Hey." " Oh hi Sabrina." "Oh Harvey called for you about an hour ago." "No he didn't, I was just with him." "He:he:he." "Why do I never tire of it?" "So you were out with Harvey?" "The two of you have a date?" "No, we were just playing foozball." "Harvey's too oblivious to ask me out on a date." "I wish there was some way I could get Harvey to notice me more." "Well the best way to get someone's attention is to be an interesting person." "Gee let me think!" "What would make me more interesting?" "I know!" "What if I had supernatural powers and could blow stuff up?" "Careful!" "A little close!" "Sabrina that is not the way to get Harvey's attention." "I know but it made me feel better." "Look, If you want him to notice you don't be so available." "Get a hobby or a job." "When I was a girl I kept bees." "I think I'll get a job." "What kinda job are you looking for?" "Ah just something to keep me busy on Friday nights." "Yeah, I don't have a boyfriend either." "Hey look!" "'Auditions today for a lovely magicians assistant' That's perfect for me." "Oh conceited!" "I'm here for the lovely magicians assistant job." "Well you're really not qualified." "Aren't I lovely?" "Well yes, Justin, you are, but you're not a girl." "Well the sign didn't say anything about being a girl." "Would you be willing to wear sequins?" " Sure!" " Slit up to here?" "No problem!" "Yeah well..." "You're too tall." "Next!" " I'll wear flats!" " Next!" "He'll love you shorty." "Um I'm her for the magicians assistant job." "I'm Sabrina Spellman." "I know." "We're in English class together." " We are?" " Yeah!" "I sit three chairs behind you." "Remember one day you dropped your pen and I picked it up and you said 'thanks a lot'?" "...Yeah and then you said" " 'You're welcome'?" " Right!" "Well you seem qualified." "You're lovely, not too tall." "Now, do you have any experience of magic?" "A little." "I prepared a trick." "Well you're mostly there for misdirection but go ahead." "Abracadabra!" "That's like Vagas magic!" "You've got the job!" "Cool!" "Hey, are you heading over to The Slicery?" "I can't, I have rehearsal." "Rehearsal?" "Are you in a play?" "No." "I got a job as the lovely assistant in a professional magic act." "Hey Sabrina!" "I heard you joined Magic Joel's freak show." "It's his world of wonder!" "Harvey, I'm heading over to The Slicery." "See you there?" "Sure." "Are you comin'?" "Didn't you hear what I said?" "I can't." "This is where the magic happens!" "And the laundry." "Do you wanna see me saw my dog in half?" "Your dog?" "I had to practice on something before you came along." "How did you get into magic anyway?" "The truth is I thought it would make girls like me." "And did it?" "See that's the tragedy, girls hate magic, but I still do it because magic makes me feel special, but I guess you wouldn't understand that." "Actually I would." "If only magic were real." "Okay let's start." "The first illusion you will learn is..." "The assistant's revenge." "Wow!" "My magic never involved such large props." "Well you're not a professional." "Okay." "Now before I show it to you, you must swear never to reveal the amazing and mystifying secrets of magic." "I swear I will never tell." "The amazing and..." "And mystifying secrets of magic." "So er how does it work?" "Step in." "Now I buckle the buckles and lock the stocks..." "Are you almost done?" "You know my dog never complained." "Now I close the curtain and I walk around the back and presto!" " Change:o!" " Aw!" "My foot!" "Sorry!" "Now say 'Isn't he amazing?" "'" "Isn't he amazing?" "Thanks." "Now close the curtain again." "Open it again." "Hey!" "Where'd you go?" "Hup!" "I disappeared!" " Amazing!" " It's our big finale." "let's talk wardrobe." "I'm thinking a valour pant suit with a plunging neck line." "And what will you wear?" "You didn't have to walk me home." "Well after rehearsal I always had to walk my dog too." " Well, I'll see ya." " But before I go." "Isn't he amazing?" "For you." "Thanks." "See ya tomorrow." "Oh!" "Watch me disappear!" " Who was that?" " Joel." "He seems like a nice boy." "Yeah." "Did Harvey call?" "I don't think so but check with the cat." "Oh!" "I shouldn't have." "Pick a card!" "Any card!" "And I will amaze and astound you." "You mean bother and bore me." "Hi Harvey!" "Can I sit with you?" "What's wrong with your table?" "It's too close to Magic Joel." "I can't believe you're working with him." "You're working with Joel?" "I told you I'm his lovely assistant." "You never pay any attention." "Yes I do." "You've got pudding right there." "I hope this beautiful tie isn't valuable?" "Well it's my favourite tie but..." "What are you doing!" "Magic Mr. Pool." "Magic to amaze and astound you." "resto!" "Change:o!" "uh!" "How'd you do that?" "I think you made it cleaner." "Mr. Pool, I'm going to make you an offer that you con't refuse." "...So Clare comes over." "You know Clare?" "No." "Well she had the best story about Alice." "You know Alice?" "No." "I'm telling the story anyway." "You see..." "Sabrina!" "Sabrina!" "I have great news!" "Excuse me, business." "Thanks to Mr. Pool we've got our first big gig." "It's tomorrow, here in the cafeteria." "Alright!" "The cafeteria?" "Yeah!" "Do I have to wear a hair:net?" "Tomorrow evening then..." "That sounds great." "Okay." "Bye." "Who was that?" "What's going on?" "I could only hear your side of the conversation." "That was my old collage buddy." "Gallilao?" "No." "Ethan Bodiker, he's coming over tomorrow night for dinner." "h Zelda, you have a date." "It's not a date, it's dinner with a colleague." "And you're welcome to join us." "I'd rather die but thanks." "Ta:da!" "What do ya think?" "Do I look more interesting?" "You look like some cheesy magicians assistant." "His name is Joel!" "And when we perform n the cafeteria tomorrow all eyes will be on us and Harvey will have to notice me." "What is Sabrina doing up there?" "Since when did she join a magic act?" "Behold!" "The linking rings are un:" "linked!" "Un:" "linked!" "Still linked!" "Ha:ha!" "Isn't he amazing?" "Amazingly lame!" "I can't take the pressure." "You can do this Joel." "Move onto the tie trick." "Sir!" "May I have your tie so I can perform a trick that will amaze and astound you?" "Why of course!" "I love this trick." "Now I hope this tie isn't valuable." "O:oh?" "You mean presto!" "No, I messed up." "I cut the wrong part." "You ruined my tie?" "Grandpa's tie!" "Isn't he amazing?" "No!" " Let's go to the big finish." " Good idea." "And now ladies and gentlemen For the big finale" "I will make my lovely assistant disappear!" "You know Sabrina really ound a perfect boyfriend." "She and Joel are going out?" "That's what I heard." "Alrghit!" "As you can see!" "She could not to escape" "Now!" "Presto!" "Change:o!" "Leave him in there!" "Now Magic Joel will disappear." "No wait!" "My pants are stuck!" "What do you mean?" "Oh I blew the trick!" "We'll make it work." "No don't!" "See!" "Magic Joel has disappeared." "Wow!" "How'd they do that?" "Magic I guess." "Shows over!" "Joel!" "Joel, where are you?" "I'm right here." "Where?" "In the stocks." "What am I, invisible?" "Aw!" "My eye!" "You mean I'm actually invisible?" " I don't know what happened." " I do." "All my hard work paid off." "My magic is real." "It's real all right!" "Okay, now we have to change you back." "Why?" "This is great!" "I can go anywhere." "I can do anything." "I am Magic Joel!" "Joel?" "Joel?" "Joel!" "Where'd he go?" "Joel?" "Joel?" "Sabrina!" "Hi Harvey." "I saw the show and I have a question." "Oh I can't tell you how the tricks are done." "No I..." "Y'know I just wanted to know if it was true that you and Joel are goin' out?" " Yes!" " No!" " Did someone say yes?" " Yes!" "No!" "I'm:" "I'm practising my ventriloquism for the act." "But er we'll talk later, right now I've got to um..." "Go to Mr. Pool's room." "I'm also doing mime." "How dare you!" "You have no right telling Harvey we're boyfriend and girlfriend." " Why not?" " Because we're not!" "I gave you a flower and you took it." "That doesn't mean anything!" "Maybe not to you but it does to me." "Look, Joel, we have a business relationship and that's it." "But Harvey doesn't even notice you!" "I would worship you, you'd be my everything." "I don't wanna be your everything." "Sabrina!" "What are you doing in my classroom?" "Er I came to ask you a question." "Ask away as I staple my tie back together." "Okay, I:" "I wanted to know if you enjoyed the magic show?" "Er not really." "Joel ruined my favourite tie." "There's really something not right about that boy." "What's that!" "A gust of wind?" "In this windowless prison cell?" "Anyway, y'know I thought you were really polished." "My advice, lose Joel." "You don't need him." " Mr. Pool!" " Sabrina?" "Don't be so harsh!" "This magic things a lot harder than it looks." "Well, I'd better get going." "Come on!" "Grandpa?" "Yello?" "Aunt Hilda you have to help me!" "turned Joel invisible." "Calm down!" "You just need o give him a shot of visibility powder, it's right here in the cabinet." "Can you bring it to me?" "You still don't get this witch thing do you?" "Are you alone?" "Pretty much." "Got it." "Just spray some in his face and he'll be fine." "See?" "No problem." "No problem except now I have to find him!" "Let's see." "A sixteen year old invisible boy lose in a high school." "Where would he go?" "Oh:no!" "Keep your shirts on!" "Don't change!" "I smell smoke!" "RUN!" "Panic!" "Don't inhale!" "Mean!" "I knew you'd be here." "Look Joel, we need to talk." "Did you come to tell me you'd changed your mind?" "No!" "What are you doing with that talcum powder?" "I thought you might be chafing." "I know you probably don't see much in me right now but you will." "I'll make you notice me Sabrina." "You wait and see." "Ethan!" "I'm so glad you came." "Zelda, you look great!" "You never seem to age." "Well let's not talk about me, let's talk about the search for monopoles." " Ah you've read my last paper!" " I couldn't put it down." "Zelda!" "I'm late for my tea at the Harvard club!" " Are you Ethan?" " Yes." "Oh my God!" "Excuse me." "What's going on?" "It's stuck!" "Why didn't you tell me Ethan was cute?" "Well I don't think about the way e looks, I think about the way he thinks." "I think he's cute!" "Weren't you going to Harvard for some tea?" "No stupid!" "I was making fun of you." "Oh!" "Now I'm staying here." "How's my hair." "You have brain head." "Where've you been?" "Looking for Joel." "I haven't seen him." "Me neither." "Hi Sabrina." "Can I sit here?" "Sure!" "I wanna hear more about your ventriloquism." "You talk with your stomach right?" "Harvey's a loser!" "Who said that?" "Er my stomachs grumbling." "That's it!" "Where are you?" "When I get my hands on you!" "Sabrina?" "...Gotta go!" "But you have to factor in, quarks remain forever trapped in the particles they create." "I know the feeling." "Yes but now:a:days all physics is sub:atomic physics." "I mean between the bosons and the leptons and the quarks..." "Since you took a breath I thought I'd jump in with a new topic." "What's your favourite Bruce Willis movie?" " I don't now, 'Die Hard'" " One, two or three?" " Weren't they all the same?" " No." "Actually two is very different." "Hilda, sister dear." "Why don't you make like an atom and split?" "Fine!" "I can take a hint." "I'll leave you alone to discus your little quirks." " It's quarks." " I meant quirks!" " Don't talk, bad night!" " Know the feeling!" "Thank goodness that she left." "Now we can talk about the first millisecond after the big bang." " See I think..." " Love me!" " What!" " I'm sorry." "é que finalmente vimo-nos livre da tua irmã esquisita..." "It's just that we finally get rid of your weird sister and all you can talk about is the big bang?" "came here tonight hoping for more than science." "I wanted you to look into my eyes and see something other than rods and cones." "I love you Zelda." "Don't you realise that?" "You never said anything." "I've been playing footsie with you all night!" "That was you!" "I thought it was the cat." "What's the point?" "This is too humiliating." "I can't let him go." "Slippery floor!" " Are you okay?" " What happened?" "Slippery floor." "I'll get it." "What are you doing down there?" "Slippery floor." "And now we're going back into the dining room." "It's um time for dessert." " Dessert?" " Yes, dessert." "Oh good." "I:" "I like dessert." "Animals!" "Hello, who are you?" "I'm Harvey." "Is Sabrina here?" "Oh come in." "So you're Harvey." "Salem, Go get Sabrina." "Why do I have to be the one?" "I have a few questions." "Hey Sabrina, guess who's here?" " Very funny." " No really, Harvey's here." "Harvey's here?" " Hi Harvey." " Hi Sabrina." "I'll leave you two alone." "Take the cat!" "So er what are you doing here?" "I was worried about you." "I noticed that you sorta lost it at The Slicery." "You noticed?" "Yeah and I wondered if maybe you were mad at me?" "No, I'm not mad." "Good, 'cause I was thing that maybe y wa..a g.. da..e e?" "What?" "Oh don't make me say it again!" "I swear I didn't hear you." "Do you wanna go out with me?" "Like on a date?" "Like a real date?" "I:" "I'd love that!" "Yeah er when?" " Now?" " Let's go!" "Wait." "I should change first." "Hang here, I'll be right back." "Actually!" "I'm going to wait in my car." "I'm afraid your aunt'll keep asking me questions." "Okay, meet you out front." " Hi Sabrina." " Joel?" "I totally forgot about you." "How did you get here?" "I came in with Harvey." "Did you notice he noticed me?" "Yeah!" "So I guess I'm out of the running." "Joel, you never were..." "Yeah, you're out of the running." "I wish you liked me Sabrina." "I do Joel, just not in the way you want me to." "But I like talking magic with you." "You do?" "Yeah." "Look, are you anywhere near my face?" "Actually, I'm at the piano." "Oh I didn't know you liked the piano." "I thought it'd make girls like me." "And did it?" "No." "Girls like guitars." "Hey er wait here." "Play!" "I've got to grab something in the kitchen." "Wow!" "You're good." " You think?" " Yeah." " What are you doing!" " I'm undoing, and you know Joel?" "Someday some girl will appreciate all your hard work." "Maybe not in high school but I'm sure by late college." "Well, I'd better get going." "So I:" "I guess this is it?" "I guess." "No wait!" "We have English class together." "Oh right!" "So I'll see ya tomorrow." "Yeah, see ya." "What's going on?" " Who are you?" " I'm Joel." "You can see me?" "Yes and you're not wearing any pants." "Joel!" "What are you doing in here?" " Oh!" "You can see me?" " No, you're invisible." " I am?" " No!" "Get out or I'm telling coach Sapho." "Man!" "I thought for sure I'd got it right." "I was Magic Joel once and I will be again." "GET OUT!" "I hate magic." "Hello?" "Oh hi Ethan..." "Oh well you're welcome..." "Oh well yes, well any time." "I'd like that." "What are you doing now?" "..." "Oh you're at home?" "You're eating a can of tuna?" "Salem!" "I can't believe you tricked me!" "Ugh!" "Zelda?" "Zelda?" "Ze..." "What's her problem?" "** Saboor Mughal **"