"I honestly don't know how I'm going to get everything done for Davey's birthday." "You know, if you need a hand, just let me know." "Really?" "Yeah." "Well, there's kids to be picked up and, um, food." "Food's not really my thing, hon, you know that." "Oh, how 'bout just the kids." "Um, sure, sure, I could I could pick up some kids if they a happen to live over by the precinct I could get 'em." "Alright." "How 'bout just the cake." "Cake, uh, cake is is kinda food, isn't it?" "You know, you--you--just don't do anything around here." "Honey, you--you know how busy I am at work right now." "I got those two homicides," "I got that robbery investigation," "I got paperwork up my ass." "And I just sit around painting my toenails." "You just said that you wanted to help." "Yeah, I work my fingers to the bone-- is this the "I work my fingers to the bone so I can pay the bills" speech?" "Yes." "I don't wanna hear it." "I just want you to come home with a present for Davey and please make it a big one." "I can do that." "?" "This is modern day America?" "hey, anything?" "Nothin'." "What the hell is this?" "It's a man bra." "Oooh." "Yeah, you got man jugs, you slap that baby on, it ropes 'em right in." "You bought this?" "I'm not ashamed of my breasts." "No, you nit wit, Hennesy sent it over to bust my hump." "What'd you got in the case?" "A telescope." "I wanted one of these ever since I was a kid, and this one is a beauty." "Wow!" "You're not kiddin'." "How much you pay for that?" "Oh, I got a great deal." "I'm gonna set it up in the next room and look at the stars." "Yeah, for the first fifteen seconds." "Alright, you caught me." "I gonna see if there's any flesh about." ""Property of warren fredricks."" "Hey, tommy, correct me if I'm right, isn't that the name of the guy we went out on the call yesterday, the--the old guy who killed himself?" "Was it?" "You disgusting sick little bastard." "I'll let you go first." "Deal." "What's this?" "A foreign film festival?" "Bank robbery yesterday on Madison." "We gotta I.D. The perp from this tape." "Good luck." "Can you even see faces?" "Al thought he saw his mom." "Turned out to be some old guy with a perm." "Well, congratulations." "You guys have landed the suckiest job in the precinct." "Happy viewing." "Hey, that's mine." "This thing's amazing." "You can see right into their apartments." "It's like you're in there with 'em." "Hey, I'm was supposed to be first." "Yeah, yeah, first after me." "Hey, what's going on?" "Tommy stole a telescope from a dead guy, now we're looking for naked chicks." "Jackpot." "Topless yoga girl." "Get out of here." "I'm tellin' ya." "Hey, I was supposed to be next." "I'm next." "Oh, yeah." "Oh my god." "What?" "She is gorgeous." "Look towards the window please, towards the window." "Turn, please." "Yes, there we go." "She is unbelievable." "What's going on?" "Tommy stole a telescope from a dead guy and now we're looking at some chick do topless yoga." "Come on, move outta the way." "Oh yeah, daddy, do the yoga." "Oh, daddy likes the yoga." "You guys plan on workin' today or is this gonna be keeping you occupied?" "This is gonna keep us pretty occupied, you oughta take a look." "No, thanks." "I don't get my kicks spying on people." "We're not spying, okay?" "We're gathering information, we're keepin the city safe." "You guys are pitiful." "Oh yeah?" "Well, you say that now, but you know what?" "If in a couple of weeks a half-naked yoga chick goes on a killin' spree and starts stabbing' people with the incense sticks, who's gonna know where she lives?" "Not you, pal." "Damn, damn, damn, damn." "What?" "She's blocked." "Let me see." "Where is she?" "Behind the big thing." "The armoire?" "I don't know." "Whatever it is, it sucks!" "Hey, maybe if we concentrate real hard we can move it our mind power." "No, she's gone, come on." "Knock it off, you idiots." "We gotta-- we gotta go over there and move the thing ourselves, that's the only solution." "You're kiddin'." "No, we go over there and we--we--we pretend we're building maintenance guys and, uh, there's a safety issue." "The vent's blocked." "The vent's blocked and there's fumes." "Yeah, yeah, yeah" "I'm in." "Do you know a guy who can get the jump suits that those maintenance guys wear?" "Hold it, hold it." "We're gonna go over there dressed up like maintenance guys?" "That's illegal." "Yeah, but it's a half- naked chick doin' yoga." "You're a 3x right?" "You're a what?" "Forty long." "Alright, I'm a small." "Hats?" "No, no hats." "This yours?" "Oh, yeah." "Speed dating." "Seven o'clock p-- okay, thank you." "I'm sorry." "No, it's fine." "I mean, it's like I've tried everything else, and I don't really have any time to meet guys so I can't keep a relationship going for more than 12 hours." "Why not just try this?" "I hear you." "I mean, it's not like I'm pathetic or anything." "Lots of people are doing this like you all get together in one place, you meet a lot of people all at the same time, so it's kinda like a trendy thing." "Okay." "Should I keep explaining myself or do you just think I'm a giant loser?" "Oh, you don't have to explain." "Great." "Can I help you?" "Yes." "Hi, we're with building maintenance and we're here to check out a problem with the ventilation." "Fumes, we think that there may be a problem with some fumes in in your apartment." "Fumes?" "Yes, fumes." "No--no need to panic, just um, do you mind if we come in and just smell?" "Uh, could I see some id?" "Yes, I'm, uh, Dave, and this is Jim and this is-- jimmy." "How do." "So do, do you mind if we come in?" "Okay, I guess." "Okay." "Aaah yeah, here we go, Dave." "Uh-huh." "Just like we thought." "Yeah." "Well, what do you think, Jim?" "Well, it's blocking a vent, Dave." "Yeah, what do you think, jimmy?" "Hmm?" "About the thing." "Oh, this has to be moved, Dave." "Yeah, I think, ma'am, we definitely have to move this piece of furniture because it's blocking a vent and, uh, it's trapping fumes and that's a very serious situation." "Has this been a problem for anyone else in the building?" "Oh yeah, a whole bunch of people." "Yeah, you know the old lady upstairs?" "Which one?" "The the old one with the Grey hair and the really old, uh, face?" "I haven't seen her for ages." "That's because she's dead and we behave reason to believe that her death definitely fume-related so-- what do ya know?" "What are the odds there actually is a vent here?" "I know." "Well, that's quite an improvement." "It really opens up the energy of the room." "Hmmm." "Do you know about interior design?" "Oh yes, I've studied extensively in feng schu." "Shui." "Yes, also yes." "We gotta go up and do the, uh, heating element fixture-- right, yeah." "Thing on the 23rd floor, so-- yeah." "Thank you and we will be in touch." "You're going up to the 23rd?" "Yes, we got a thing to do up there." "This building only has 18 stories." "Right, right, but we-- we have a code." "We say 23, we mean 18, we always add five floors." "So thank you." "Why?" "I'm not really at liberty to, ah, tell you about that." "It's a, uh, uh, secret janitor thing." "So, thank you, and we'll talk to you later." "So the next relationship I'm in," "I'm not gonna take any crap." "From anyone." "I just got tired of the bar scene." "You and I really stand out in this crowd." "Right now I'm living with my mother." "The whole gay life, it's, it's finished." "It's just temporary until I get a job." "Hi, my name is brad." "I'm really glad to meet you." "I'm really glad to meet you." "My name is, uh, Jan." "Uh, what do you do, brad?" "I don't think what we do is as important as who we are." "I totally agree." "I'm a pediatrician." "Really." "My nephew's got this, uh, inner ear thing." "Any advice?" "Well, my specialty is actually the outer ear, but I would say that he should probably drink a lot of fluids, and rest, you know." "But if you have any other questions, you could call me." "I'll call you anyway." "Oh, okay." "So where were you?" "I was over there singin'." "I'm a folk singer." "Ah, I bet you're raking' it in." "Huh?" "So you saw two guys?" "Yeah, a body came over the wall and walked over here and looked, uh, two guys." "One had a badge, said they were detectives." "What'd they look like?" "One was fat with no hair, said his name was frank Harrigan." "Hennesy." "Uh-Huh." "Alright." "Thanks very much." "We'll call you if we need anymore information." "Or a lovely song." "Yeah, what are you gonna do with him?" "Why, you want him?" "No, no, no, I don't want him." "I'm kiddin'." "As you were." "Frank, what's Hennesy doi" chucking' dead guys around?" "Open your eyes, tommy, that side of the wall is his precinct, this side is ours." "He tosses the croaker over here, we have to deal with it." "That bum." "Yeah." "I say we toss this poor bastard back where he came from." "Nah, too many witnesses." "So wanna do?" "Here, give me hand." "We take 'em back into the park." "We'll let Hennesy deal with the crime." "Right." "Just act natural." "Yeah, right." "Pip, you gotta try this, I'm serious." "No way, man." "If Adina found out." "How's Adina gonna find out?" "She just would, okay?" "She has powers." "I went all the way over there and moved that armoire, you can't make an effort." "Frank and tommy said they moved it." "That's not the point, okay." "We--we did it, so, you know, why don't you give us a thank you look." "Okay." "Yeah." "Get a good look." "Pip, Adina's on the phone." "I told you she knows." "I didn't see anything." "Uh huh." "Well, isn't this nice?" ""Perv central."" "You guys are really desperate, you know that?" "No, no, no, if we were really desperate we'd be speed dating." "Oh, shut up, okay?" "Let me tell you something about speed dating-- it was great." "And it is so easy for two people who are open and honest to meet each other." "Ah." "Isn't that nice?" "Ha." "Doctor's office." "Hi, brad." "It's great to hear your voice, too." "Tonight?" "Yes, I am free." "I would love to come over for dinner." "Okay." "Bye." "See that, and he knows how to cook, too." "So does Dom deluise." "You can't be just a tad bit supportive here?" "Um, no." "How's the yoga chick?" "I don't know, I'm looking at somebody else." "Somebody naked?" "No." "Let me see." "No, this is interesting." "Some middle aged guy talking to a couple of prep school kids and there's a girl and she's crying." "Is she naked?" "No." "Check it out." "Oh yeah, somebody's doing a booming' business over there." "Dealing drugs to kids." "Yeah." "What are the odds, huh?" "Ah, did you gentlemen take care of that stiff over near central park?" "Yes, we did." "Well, good, 'cause today is your lucky day." "We got another one." "I want you to get on it fast." "We're right on it." "Come on, tommy." "Ah, don't you think you can take care of it faster if a I tell you where you're going?" "That's why you're the boss." "We're all ears." "Get outta here." "This has Hennesy all over it." "Well, he's in our precinct now." "Let's just call the morgue and be done with it." "And let Hennesy win?" "No way." "No, this is about honor and self-respect." "Climb in there and get him out." "I gotta climb into a dumpster and drag out a dead guy and this is about self-respect?" "Explain that to me, frank." "Just hurry up, and grab that little Tv." "I know a guy can maybe fix that." "I ain't getting in there." "What do you want to do with him?" "We'll put him in the alley." "Oh, he's getting heavy again." "Let's sit him down over here for a second." "Alright." "I don't know, frank." "I wanna get back at Hennesy, but we're draggin' a stiff around." "It ain't right." "Hey, look." "Hennesy started this." "Don't worry about it, everything's gonna work out fine." "Whoops." "Walk away, frank." "Walk away." "I'm walkin'." "Selling ecstasy to kids." "Real nice." "Come on." "I wanna call my lawyer." "How Long's this gonna take?" "Five to seven years." "Why, you got other plans?" "Um, I got a cat in there." "Hey, shut up." "I'm gonna look for the other stash, okay?" "Alright." "Excuse me." "What's going on?" "Police business." "So those men are with the police?" "Yeah." "Excuse me." "Hey, you wanna give them a hand take that guy down to the squad?" "I have to continue to search in here so-- and I'm gonna do some re--Repairs." "What?" "There's a sink in here that's a mess." "We gotta fix it." "What, what?" "Yeah, I got the special jumpsuits in here." "We can just change and go right into it." "Hey, how you doin'?" "Goin' down?" "Yeah." "So how do I look?" "Very convincing." "What do you mean very convincing?" "You're going undercover as a hooker, right?" "No." "I'm going out on a date." "Ooh." "You look nice." "Right, Al?" "Okay, well, have fun watching your tape." "We're done." "We found the guy." "Really?" "How'd you do that?" "We blew up the tape." "Check this out." "Got a nice clean shot of him." "Oh my god." "Oh my god." "This, this can't be." "Ha!" "This is my freakin' luck with guys." "What's wrong with her?" "Hey, I didn't know you were working tonight." "Oh just shut up." "Tommy." "What?" "If you just meet someone and they're great, but mostly they're really, really hot and you really want to have sex with them-- and I mean really-- and then you find out that they're guilty" "of this criminal act" "I can't believe I'm gonna ask you this-- can you have sex with them and then arrest them?" "Or are you just supposed to give up the possibility of maybe having the best sex of your whole life and just arrest them?" "An interesting quandary." "You'd have sex with them, wouldn't you?" "In a heartbeat." "Aah, so then if I do this, then I'm no better than you are." "Ugh, I hate my life." "She wants me." "What the hell is goin' on out here today?" "Oh, what do you mean?" "I just got a call about another dead body." "Aah, you mean the one in the basement of that store?" "What?" "I don't know nothing about that, but that's four bodies in one day." "Don't worry, we'll handle it, chief." "A good throw gets 'em." "I can't believe that Hennesy would sink this low." "But if he thinks he's gonna sink lower than us, he's crazy." "Hey, we gotta stop this, frank." "If the chief finds out, there's gonna be three dead guys laying here." "Na, Na, I'm not givin' up." "We got one last place to dump him and I promise ya, Hennesy will have to concede defeat." "Grab him." "You ready?" "Yeah." "I know it ain't possible, but I think he put on some weight." "Aw, god." "I'm losin' 'em." "Okay." "Hennesy's sure to go nuts." "We put a stiff in his station house, there's nothin' he can do." "There's a nice spot over there." "Yeah, yeah." "Spin him around." "Alright." "Frank." "What's up?" "Oh, bobby, you old stink hound." "How you doin'?" "Good." "Good." "Hey, I'm gonna grab a bite." "Wanna come with me?" "Where you goin'?" "Vincenzo's." "Vincenzo's." "Tommy, come on, let's eat." "Frank." "You done with this?" "He's tired." "I-I-I can't do this." "Give me your hands." "Whoa." "This is great." "I love this stuff." "Really?" "Totally." "Baby, you're into games." "Yeah." "Let's pretend that I'm a police officer and you're a bank robber." "Baby." "I've been a bad, bad boy." "I need to be punished." "Oh, oh, oh, oh." "Oh, god." "Baby?" "Hey, boys, I heard about your ecstasy dealer, nice work." "Yeah, you bust a guy who's dealin' to kids, it makes make you feel real good inside." "How was your date, Jan?" "Still seeing that guy?" "Nope, not big on conjugal visits." "Hey chief, how's it going?" "Oh, it's gone." "The democratic national convention that we were hopin' to get into our fair city-- yeah." "Has decided to go elsewhere." "A recent spike in homicides yesterday made 'em a little nervous." "See the calls kept coming in, but we couldn't find any bodies." "And now that we've lost the convention, well, that's only about, uh, a hundred million dollars that the city could've used." "I'd better get that." "See if I still have a job." "McNEIL, Phillips-- in my office." "A hundred million bucks." "Nice goin', frank." "Hey, we kicked hennesy's ass, can you put a price on that?" "Too bad you guys can't be as good as me and pip." "Speakin' for the city, I'm a little disappointed in all ya's." "McNEIL." "I just wanted to make sure you come home early for Davey's birthday." "You got him a present, right?" "Yep." "No, you didn't." "Ye-yes, I did." "I don't want to get into an argument right now." "It's like one of the greatest moments of my career." "Why is it so good?" "Other guys are getting reamed out, but I did some good stuff." "Talk to you later." "Chief." "This has been a big money day for the city." "Not only did we lose the convention but a ten million dollar law suit has been filed against the new York city police department." "A woman who lives nearby says that three new York city detectives came into her apartment dressed as maintenance men and moved her armoire." "What I-- isn't that funny?" "Well, how did she know they were detectives, I mean-- another detective identified them." "Oh no." "What?" "Well, I was just reacting to the whole situation." "What were you doing in the building, McNEIL?" "We were busting the ecstasy guy." "Well, unless he was in that armoire, you're in a lot of trouble." "Start talkin'." "We, uh, um-- let me just say-- do you like a yoga?" "Hennesy, yeah, frank Harrigan just calling to leave you a short message." "I win, scum." "Next time you think messing with somebody, don't come lookin' for me 'cause I'll take you down, baby." "I'll take you all the way down." "So long, loser." "What was that?" "I don't know." "Come on, let's go." "Hey, dad." "Hey." "You did good." "He's so excited about the new telescope," "I could hardly get him into bed." "Cool." "You came through big time." "Have a look." "Yeah, this is a really nice one." "Wow, how much did this cost?" "Oh, I got a great deal." "What is this?" "What?" "This?" "Property of warren fredricks." "Honey, that's, that's warren fredricks, he's the inventor of the telescope." "They put his name on every telescope." "Wow." "What?" "You never fail to amaze me." "No, that's a-- that's a true thing." "No, honey, it was like a, you know, uh-- you could lo-- it's in the science books." "Wait a minute." "Mrs. Olsen's goin' into the shower." "Turn around, baby, turn around." "Thank you." "Yeah."