"I'm going down to South Park Gonna have myself a time" "Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation" "I'm going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind" "Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"" "I'm heading on up to South Park Gonna see if I can't unwind" "So come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine" "School days, school days teacher's golden..." "Damn it, my little brother's trying to follow me to school again." "Ike, you can't come to school with me!" "Yeah, go home, you little dildo." "Dude!" "Don't call my brother a dildo." "What's a dildo?" "I don't know." "And I'll bet Cartman doesn't know, either!" "I know what it means!" "Well, what?" "I'm not telling you." "What's a dildo, Kenny?" "Yeah!" "That's what Kyle's little brother is all right!" "Dude, that kicks ass!" "Yeah!" "Check this one out!" " Ready, Ike?" "Kick the baby." " Don't kick the baby." "Kick the baby." "Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night." "That's 'cause I was having these bogus nightmares." "Really, what about?" "Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed in the dark, when all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room." "Then slowly my bedroom door began to open and then the next thing I remember, I was being drug through a hallway!" "Then I was lying on a table and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me!" "And they had big heads and big black eyes..." " Dude!" "Visitors!" " Totally!" " What?" " That wasn't a dream, Cartman." "Those were visitors!" "No, it was just a dream." "My mom said so!" "Visitors are real!" "Yeah, they abduct people and they mutilate cows!" "Shut up, you guys, you're just trying to make me scared and it's not working." "Hello there, children." " Hey, Chef." " What's gonna be for lunch today, Chef?" "Well, today it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles and a choice of green-bean casserole or vegetable medley." " Kick-ass!" " Say, did any of you children see the alien spaceship last night?" " What?" " Yeah, fat boy saw it!" "No!" "That was just a dream!" "And I'm not fat, I'm big-boned." "Oh, was it the ones with the big, long heads and the black eyes?" "They took him on their ship!" "Did they give you an anal probe?" "What's an anal probe?" "That's when they put this big metal hoopajoo up your butt." "They gave you an anal probe, Cartman?" "No!" "I mean," " why would they do that?" " Dude, they did, huh?" "Aliens stuck stuff up your ass!" " No!" " Anal probe!" " Shut up, dildo!" " Well, I gotta get to the cafeteria." "You children watch that fat boy now." "He could be under alien control." "We told you they were real, Cartman." "Sorry to hear about your ass." "God damn it, they didn't do anything to my ass!" "It was just a dream!" "Why are you walking so funny, Cartman?" "Shut up!" "No, Ike!" "Go home!" "This is it!" "This one's for the game." "Kick the baby!" "Good morning, Ms Crabtree." "Sit down!" "We're running late!" "Damn it, he's still there!" "Oh, don't worry about him." "No, dude, if something happens to him, my parents are gonna blame me!" "Sit down back there!" "Yeah, whatever, you fat bitch." "What did you say?" "I said I have a bad itch." "Oh, my God!" "Visitors!" "Lke!" "Stop the bus!" "Ms Crabtree, you have to stop this bus!" " Do you want an office referral?" " No." " Then sit down!" " But I..." "Cartman, are those the same visitors you saw?" "Shut up, you guys, it's not working." " We have to do something!" " Well, we can't do anything for now." "That fat bitch won't let us." "What did you say!" "I said that rabbits eat lettuce." "Well, yes, they certainly do." "What am I going to do?" "My little brother's been abducted by aliens." "You farted." "Somebody's baking brownies." "That's the third cow this month." "At this rate all my cattle are gonna die before the winter's through." "This is nothing out of the unusual." "Cows turn themselves inside out all the time." "People have been saying they've been seeing UFOs around." "UFOs?" "Yeah, and black army CIA helicopters and trucks." "That is the silliest thing I've ever heard." "What was that?" "That was a pigeon." "What am I supposed to do, Barbrady?" "Just stand here and watch my cattle get mutilated one by one?" "Hey, my cattle!" "You see?" "There is something funny going on." "There's nothing funny going on." "I'll get those cows back." "And now, children, our friend Mr Hat is going to tell us about Christopher Columbus." "That's right, Mr Garrison." "Christopher Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend." "He helped the Indians win their war against Frederick Douglass and freed the Hebrews from Napoleon, and discovered France." "Oh, man, I can't just sit here!" "I have to help my stupid brother or I'll come home without him and my dad will start yelling," ""Where's your brother, Kyle?" ""You weren't looking out for your little brother, Kyle!"" "Okay, okay, let's ditch school and go find him." ""You know he can't think on his own, Kyle." ""Brush and floss, Kyle!" "Where has that finger been, Kyle?"" " Dude!" " Is there a problem, boys?" " Yes, Mr Garrison, I have to go now." " Oh, really, Kyle?" "What is it this time?" "Another prostate tumour?" "No, my little brother has been abducted by aliens." "It's true!" "Ask Cartman." "They gave him an anal probe!" "That's a little joke." "Mr Garrison, seriously, I have to go!" "Can I please be excused from class?" "I don't know, Kyle." "Did you ask Mr Hat?" "I don't want to ask Mr Hat!" "I'm asking you!" "Oh, I think you should ask Mr Hat." "Mr Hat, may I please be excused from class?" "Well, Kyle, no!" "You hear me?" "You go to hell!" "You go to hell and you die!" "Guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle." "Damn it!" "Mr Hat yelled at you!" "My ass!" "Damn, Cartman!" "My ass!" "Dude, he's farting fire!" "It's the alien anal probe!" "It's shooting fire from Cartman's rectum!" "No, that was just a dream!" "Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your flaming gas is under control?" "No, Mr Garrison." "I'm fine." "Hey, you cows can't get on this train." "This is a people train." "You cows have no business on a people train, all right, 'cause you're cows." "No, no, no, don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right, 'cause it's not going to work!" "Hold it right there, cows." "Come back here!" "Damn it!" "I sure am hungry." "How can you eat when you're farting fire?" "Shut up, dude." "You're being totally immature." "Hey, look!" "There's Wendy Testaberger!" "Where?" "Stan wants to kiss Wendy Testaberger" "Shut up, fat ass!" "I don't even like her!" "I'm not fat, and you obviously like her because you throw up every time she talks to you!" "I do not!" " Hi, guys." " Hi, Wendy." "Here, Stan, this is for you." "Bye, Wendy." "Dude, what does the note say?" "Holy crap!" "It says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school." " Maybe you can kiss her." " Or slip her the tongue." "What?" "How do you know she has a cat?" "Come on, you guys, we need to figure out how to get out of school, so we can get my little brother back!" "Hello, there, children." " Hey, Chef." " How are you doing?" " Bad." " Why bad?" "Chef, have you ever had something happen to you, but nobody believed you?" "Oh, children, children." "That's a problem we've all had to face at some time or another." "Here, let me sing you a little song." "It might clear things up." "I'm gonna make love to you, woman" "Gonna lay you down by the fire" "And caress your womanly body" "Make you moan and perspire" "Gonna get those juices flowing" "Chef, Chef!" "We're making love gravy, love gravy" "Love, love, love, love, love gravy!" "Chef!" " Do you feel better?" " No!" "Oh, come on, children." "What can be so bad?" "It's Salisbury steak day!" "Visitors took Kyle's baby brother." "What?" "What the hell do you think you're doing in school eating Salisbury steak?" "Go find him, damn it!" "Mr Garrison won't let us out of school." " He thinks we're making it up." " You are making it up!" " What?" " That was cool!" "It's some kind of symbiotic metamorphosis device." "This could mean the visitors want to communicate with us!" "Oh, I see, now you're going to join in on the little joke, huh?" "It's no joke, children." "This is big!" "Please, Chef, if I don't get out of school and get my little brother back from the aliens, my parents are gonna disown me." "Hold on, now." "Hold on, now." "You got to help the children!" "You guys sure are going a long way to try and scare me." "I want my Salisbury steak!" "Fire drill!" "Fire drill, everybody out." "Okay, children, this is your chance." "Killer." "Thanks, Chef." "Man, oh, man." "First contact with the alien visitors." "I've got to get myself ready." "We got out of school No more school today" "We got out of school" "You guys, my ass!" "Seriously." "Okay, Cartman, you can stop farting fire now." "I would if I could, you son of a bitch!" "Okay, so how do we get my little brother back?" "Would you stop going on about your little brother?" "I know it was just a dream!" "I know I didn't have an anal probe!" "And I know that I am not under alien control!" "I love to sing-a" "About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a" "I love to sing-a" "About a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a" " What the hell was that?" " He is under alien control." "That thing in his butt is linked up to the visitors." "Son of a bitch." "You guys, shut up, I'm not under alien control." "Hey!" "If you visitors can hear me, bring me back my little brother, God damn it!" "That hurts, you butt licker!" "Kyle, look!" "It's them!" "Give me back my brother!" "Oh, my God, they killed Kenny." "You bastards!" "Come back here!" "Come back!" "Damn it!" "We were so close!" "Hey, look." "I think Kenny's okay!" " Wow, poor Kenny." " Now do you believe us, Cartman?" " No!" " Cartman, they killed Kenny!" " He's not dead." " Dude, Kenny is dead!" " See?" " Shut up, you guys." "He's dead, Cartman." "God damn it, I didn't have an anal probe!" "Screw you guys, I'm going home!" "Go on and go home, you fat chicken!" "Dildo!" "You're all I have left, Stan." "Sorry, dude, I gotta go meet Wendy Testaberger." "You can't!" "Poor lke must be so scared, up there all alone." "You gotta help me, dude!" "Dude, like Chef says, I gotta get a piece of loving while the getting's hot." "Rats." " Hello, Eric." " Hi, Mom." "How are you doing?" "Well, I'm pissed off." "Here, I made you powdered doughnut pancake surprise." "I don't want powdered doughnut pancake surprise!" "All the kids at school call me fat!" " You're not fat, you're big-boned." " That's what I said." "You can have an eensy-weensy bit, can't you?" " No!" " Just a weensy-eensy woo-woo?" "No!" "Leave me alone, Mom!" "How about a nice chocolate chicken pot pie, then?" "What?" "Well, that does sound pretty good." " Mom?" " Yes, hon?" "If anybody calls or comes over, I'm not here, okay?" "Sure, hon." "You want some Cheesy Poofs, too?" "Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs!" "Well, looks like she's not gonna show up, Stan." " Let's go look for the visitors now." " But her note said she'd be here!" "Hi, Stan." "You can't talk to Stan, Wendy, he throws up when you do." "But why, Stan?" "Look, could you guys just get down to business so we can go find my little brother?" "Just make sweet love down by the fire." "What happened to your little brother?" "As the reports of UFO sightings increase, more mysterious crop-circle patterns are appearing in fields all around South Park." "These crop circles, when viewed from above form strange patterns." "Hey, that kind of looks like Tom Selleck." "Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us here on Earth?" "No, Kitty, this is my pot pie!" "No, Kitty!" "Bad Kitty!" "No, Kitty, this is my pot pie!" "Mom!" "Kitty's being a dildo!" "Well, then, I know a certain Kitty-Kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight." "What?" "And now I have to go home without him and my parents are going to have me killed!" "Well, why don't you go get the fat kid?" " Why?" " Well, if the fat kid has something implanted in his ass, maybe the visitors are using him as part of their plan." "You should use the fat kid as bait to bring them back." "Hey, you're right, Wendy!" "Come on, Stan, we have to go get Cartman!" "Come on, Stan!" "Hey, wait, when do I get to make sweet love?" "No, Kitty!" "You can't have any!" "No, Kitty!" "This is my pot pie!" "Bad Kitty!" "Excuse me, Kitty." "Eric, look who's here." "Dude, weak, Mom!" "Come on, Eric, we're gonna go play at the bus stop." "Come on, Eric, we're gonna go play at the bus stop." " I can't." "My mom says..." " That's okay, Eric." "I think you need to spend time with your little friends." "But, Mom, I don't want to spend time with my little friends." "Don't be difficult, Eric." "Now, you go out and play in the fun snow." "God damn it!" "You guys, I have to get home." "Don't be such a fraidy cat, Cartman!" "This rope will make sure they can't take you on board again." "Oh, man, this sucks." "How come the visitors aren't coming for him?" "I think we have to signal them somehow." "Hey, he's like Rudolph!" "Yeah, all you have to do is fart some more, Cartman, and the visitors are sure to come." "Really?" "I don't think I have to fart any more tonight." " Sure, you do!" " Come on, Cartman!" "Fart!" " I don't wanna." " He can't hold it in forever." "Fart, damn you!" "Okay!" "That does it!" "Now, listen!" "Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?" "I'm sick of it!" "It's completely immature!" "Hey!" "It's happening again!" "Look at that!" "Now do you believe us, Cartman?" "You guys can't scare me!" "I know you're making it all up!" "Cartman!" "There's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass!" "Sure, you guys, whatever." "Oh, boy!" "The aliens are going to make first contact!" "Hey, down here!" "We are ready for your wisdom!" "And you only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on!" "You guys!" "I am seriously getting pissed off right now!" "I know there's no such thing as aliens!" "Oh, God damn it!" "What the..." "I tell you, there is some crazy stuff going on in this town." "You can say that again, Mr Garrison." "Come down here, you stinking aliens!" "Go on, Kyle, ask them for your little brother back." "Visitors, this morning you took my brother, Ike." "He's the little freckled kid that looks like a football." "At first I was happy you took him away, but I've learnt something today." "That having a little brother is a pretty special thing." " Yeah." " Heck, Mr Visitors." "I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world, but if you could find it in your hearts or whatever you have to give my brother back to me, it sure would make my life brighter again." " That was beautiful, dude." " Did it work?" " Nope, they're leaving." " Hey, you scrawny-ass!" "What the... is wrong with you?" "You must be some kind of..." "to be able to ignore a crying child." " Dude." " You know what you..." "like!" "You'd like to... your... and... and..." "Hey, Wendy, what's a?" "Lke!" "Jump down, now!" "For the love of God, Ike, jump!" "Come on, Ike!" "I promise I'll be nice to you from now on!" "Don't kick the baby!" "What the hell are they talking about?" "Lke!" "Lke!" "Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career." "It's my turn!" "You guys!" "Get me down from here!" "Help!" "Sons of bitches!" "Dildos!" "I'm sure glad that's over with." "Yeah, boy, am I glad to see you, Ike!" "Oh, he fly at the sky." "Wait, where are you going, alien visitors?" "Come back!" "Well, Chef, where's this amazing thing you were going to show us?" "Well, it's in the bedroom, ladies." "Come on in." "Come on, Ike, we can make it just in time for dinner." " Thanks for your help, Wendy." " Whatever, dude." "Hey, I didn't throw up!" "Cool!" "Sorry." "Hey, look!" "A French fry!" " Cool!" " And what is that?" "I think it's part of a Cheesy Poof." "Hey, what's that?" "That's a hamburger from..." "That's from, like, two days ago." "Oh, hey, what about that?" "I don't know what the hell that is." "Gee, the bus will be here any minute and Cartman still isn't around." "Yeah, we're running out of friends." "I wonder what that thing was that the visitors gave the cows." "Cows, I got you cornered." "Let's see you get away now!" "I love to sing-a" "About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a" "I love to sing-a" "About a sky of blue-a or a tea for..." " Oh, hey, Cartman!" " Wow, Cartman." "The visitors dropped you off just in time to go to school!" "Oh, man, I had this crazy nightmare last night." "Really?" "What about?" "Well, I was standing out in a field, and I had this huge satellite dish sticking out of my butt." "And then there was hundreds of cows and aliens and then I went up on the ship and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye." "That wasn't a dream, Cartman." "That really happened!" "Oh, right, why don't I have pinkeye, then?" "Cartman, you do have pinkeye!" "Oh, son of a bitch."