"The Duke!" "Last time was at the Olympia in 1958." "Thanks for the invitation." "But what is this?" "This isn't Duke Ellington." "It's Duck Ellington!" "What?" "Here." "Here's fine." "Calm down!" "You'll knock my door down!" "What do you want?" "Mme Miroux?" "No, she's not here anymore." "But I..." "That door won't last!" "I..." "Stéphane..." "Stéphane, is that you?" "Ivana?" "Yes" "You've returned!" "Let me look at you." "Oh, those eyes!" "You're almost a man now." "Let me help." "I have your keys..." "Your poor father..." "I hope we'll see more of your mother now." "See?" "Nothing's changed." "Here we are." "Do you recognise it?" "I'm glad someone will live here." "You have a message." "Your mom should see to the mail." "Hi honey, sorry I couldn't pick you up." "Gérard was sick all night." "Here's the address for your job tomorrow." "At 10 a. m. see Mr Pouchet at the Latreille company." "They're a good firm." "30 Rue de Marseille, metro République." "I can't wait to see you." "What will you be doing exactly?" " Illustrations." " For calenders?" "Yes." "Wanna see?" "No time." "I have to clean the stairs." "I'll leave you to it." "Bye." "Goodbye." "Thanks." "Oh, I can't believe you're back!" "Stéphane it's your first day here." "You have to choose sides." "So, two possibilities: a couple of fags." "How can we be gay if we're opposite sexes?" "A matter of mentality." "And me, Guy, ex-battleship salesman filmsetter and ladykiller." "I'll show you the ropes." "I can do that too." "I'm Martine." "I'm in charge of the office committee and the very popular ski weekend." "Serge, Martine's assistant." "The ski weekend is excellent for team spirit." "Ski?" "No, sorry..." "For me, ski..." "No, sorry." "So..." "It's boring, but easy." "The calender has two parts." "The bottom: the months and here: the nude girls." "Get it?" " Slowly." " A redhead with a big bush." "We don't do this part." "We do the boring bit the name of the cretin who sends out this crappy calender." "So when you get a file, you open it." "This text comes from the typesetting machine." "Typesetting?" "This revolting machine is the typesetter." "This glue..." "My mother told me..." "She said that my job is..." "Do you speak Spanish?" "Non parlo tudo españolito, du tout." "Fuck, An artist!" "He won't last." "Yeah, no." " It's terrible." " No, it's horrible." "So, Courchevel or Máribel?" " Beat it!" " Screw you!" ""Disasterology!"" "Look at yourself." "It ain't the pampas here!" "What's "shave cracker"?" "You shave with a cracker?" "You okay, honey?" "How was yesterday?" "Did it go badly?" "My job is shit!" "A piece of shit!" "Mom..." "I glue paper in a basement all day!" "Your paintings..." "They don't need a graphic designer." "But Pouchet said..." "No, not true." "Not true!" "You lied to get me back here." "I won't stay another day!" "That's not nice." "Come see us on Wednesday." "Hugs, darling." "See how cute you were." "Oh shit!" "What're you doing?" "I've gone through." "The mezzanine goes on this wall." "No, head pointing north." "It's feng shui." "Isn't that north?" "And the door?" "You come in, hit a beam..." "None of your sushi crap." "You're a danger with a drill." "Wait!" "My back!" "I'm carrying all the weight." "Is your end heavier?" "Yeah, the deep notes are always heavier." "Go past, mister, if you like." "My end's heavier." "OK?" "You got it or not?" "Thanks, mister." "Jeez!" "Who's that guy you brought?" "You OK?" "Are you hurt?" "Look at the mess you've made!" "You're not professionals!" "I don't believe it!" "Does it hurt now?" "Yes." "OK, and here?" "Yes, a little." "No, I don't have..." "much lucky in the current." "What?" "That..." "I..." "No... my French is pathetic." "Got some cream, Stéphanie?" " Maybe over there." " I'll get it." "Thanks for the hole." "My asshole landlady's next door." "Screw her!" "What's that?" "No!" " It's good." " Very funny!" "There." "That's enough!" "You're pretty cool for..." "It's better parked." " Is it OK?" " We'll see." "Forget C major." "E's busted." "I'll try C minor." "It's sadder." "Major chords won't work." "Congratulations, great!" "Quiet, he's hurt." "Oh yeah." " Let's go." " Use the brake next time." "Bye." "That's handy!" "Look, it's funny." "Stop it!" "It's not funny." "HE doesn't understand." "Don't make fun of people in my home." "Thanks a lot for the hand." "And sorry about the piano." "With your stupid lies we look like two dumb bitches" "It'd be cool to be and art director." "We'd get into gigs free and get paid, too." "Gigs are boring." "You put me to shame." "What?" "Let's go to Momo's as usual." " How much do you weigh?" " 50 kilograms." "Come here." "Don't start again, Guy!" "Don't screw around!" "Come on, it's me!" "Who are the fags?" "Hold his hand, too!" "Just you watch!" "Next time I'll leave you in the trash, weakling!" " Momo's then?" " No, I'll eat alone." "God, I'm so dumb." "Prevention's better than cure." "A bird in the hand is worth my bush" "Thanks." "Dear Stéphanie..." "Iway ouldshay..." "Iway ouldshay..." "dear neighbour..." "Yes, you read it good." "I have lady next door..." "I'm too confusé in fact with my hand accidented on the piano and lied you..." "feel myself guilty." "I want confess." ""I'm too confusé in fact with my hand accidented on the piano... "" "Holy fuck!" "2:37 p. m." "As of this afternoon late is the same as absent." "We must tell Pouchet." "Right, Guy?" "Mistakes shouldn't go unpunished." "Why do my armpits smell like sperm?" "It's strange." "What do you think?" "Guy's making me smell the sperm!" "Excuse me." "Guy..." "What makes you think you can do that?" "No one else can work this shitty machine!" "And Stéphane?" "OK..." "Stéphanie?" "Stéphanie?" " Stéphanie." " Stéphanie." "Damn!" " Martine..." " Yes?" "Start again." "You've lost me." "Well, I was sleeping dreaming of a praying mantis fighting with a turtle, but the turtle had a silver shell, like a CD, but in a hump." "And they fought over an elephant..." "Not that." "Tell the next part." "So I wake up, because I hear a freaky sound at the front door." "I turn on the light." "This is my favourite bit." "Stéphane, who twisted his hand is butt-naked in the hall." "Stéphane, who helped me move in, is my neighbour." "My landlady's son." "OK..." "But tell me..." "Remember the letter." "What did it say?" "I told you, it was gobbledygook." "It went I'm your neighbour, a liar, blah, blah..." "What did he mean?" "What do you think?" "Neighbour, you're swell, but your friend rings my bell." "No way!" "Why doesn't he know you know he's your neighbour?" "He doesn't know I read it." "Straight after, Captain Hook got it back." "A change of heart." "Holy fuck!" "But why did he lie about his address?" "Why did you lie about our jobs?" "Look, I'll give him your number - you ask him." "I've got a guy, remember?" "You tease others." "How dare you say that!" "I'm no prick-tease!" "You take that back!" "If you can't stop fighting, don't be friends." "Stéphanie, stock taking." "We're exchanging ideas, not fighting." "Big difference." "So, Miroux, Ornano..." "Miroux, Caulaincourt..." "Miroux, Rue Labat." "Bingo!" "It's ringing!" "Go on, take it!" "Take it!" "Hello?" "In French, it's more fun!" "I'm with Zoé and we were wondering if you had any other optical illusions." "Opticklish illusions?" "Now, now!" "He's got nerve!" "It matches your green eyes." "Bullshit!" "You can't wear the same jeans forever!" " I'll look ridiculous." " No!" "He's going down." "What a dumbass!" "Ace of spades." "One, two, three!" "Hey, bottoms up!" "Who's this guy?" "Zoé?" "No, wrong address!" "I live next door..." "I was told you were pretty, and I had to see for myself." "Oh, yeah?" "Not prick-teases, I hope." "No, we have sex, too!" " Do the tablecloth one!" " Not tonight." "Go on." "Oh, shit!" "I told you." "It takes preparation." " Imagine!" " It's not funny." "Thank you for dinner." "Why didn't you go to work today?" " I did." " Pouchet phoned." "I did, Mom!" "I worked all day..." "in my dream." "I'm very tired." "Since he was 6, he's inverted dream and reality." "He'd be in bed, vomit all over sure his hands were like tower blocks." "Houses, Mom." "Not towers." "Dreams are very tiring." "They have cycles." "You've got slow-wave sleep, deep-sleep, dream-sleep." "He must be in love." "Have you met someone?" "Love extrapolates your REM." "Oh, OK..." "Your eyes follow your dream movements." "If you walk downstairs, say your eyes go down." "Turn right - the eyes go right." "It's in your dream your eyes are walking." "What a pain." "Something wrong?" "Will you manage all those files?" ""A heart that sighs has not what it desires"." "Must be love." "Give him a break." "He doesn't want to talk." "Maybe the feeling's not mutual." "Maybe she's with somebody." "Shit!" "You're so clumsy, you two!" "Stéphane, tell the campanieros they're heavios" "A sloping lake!" "A sloping lake!" "You take her from behind on the side of the bed." "Oh, I'll try that." "You pigs!" "Stop it!" "Two months later" "He's shy." "He only speaks French to me." "Stéphanie." "Let me kiss you." "You're a good person." "You sure, Mme Miroux?" "He said nothing bad about me?" "No, nothing." "I choose my tenants carefully." "So, what do you think?" "I adore it!" "Really?" "I've always found it rather strange." "That's what's good." " I like the colours." " Unusual." "Not very cheerful!" "Six months ago, a stranger came to see me with a terrible accent and a dumb project." "The world and myself weren't ready for it." "We've leapt forward into absurdity." "And I regret to say our new calendar "Disasterology" by Mr Stéphane Miroux is a huge success!" "In French." "No, in English, Mama." "Oh damn!" "That needs an explanation." "Look who's woken up." "Have a drink." "Your mom's feeling down." "She needs comforting." "She's moving back in." "This calls for a drink." "Come on." "Not exactly a triumph." "It's outrageous to attack the hospital staff." "Appalling!" "Well it's a big letdown for our charming nurses who go beyond the call of duty with a wet T-shirt contest..." "Asshole!" "Dumb asshole!" " Let's take our minds off it." " The TV?" "You wanna fight?" "Over there!" "It'll make a better splash." "One, two, three!" "Are you crazy?" "This isn't a garbage dump!" "TV's garbage anyways!" "Yes it is, but that's still no reason..." "It floats!" "Maybe the fish enjoy that crap!" " Really?" " Yeah." "The office is a hellhole!" "You can't leave me here." "The stupid bitch!" "Not stupid bitch!" "What was that?" "No, wait." "I'll cover for you." "But if you don't screw her or at least kiss her with tongues, a real French kiss..." "I'll never speak to you again!" "Bye!" "Bye..." "If he carries on, he'll leave before he arrives." "Maybe he works backwards." "He brags with his calendar." "I sent him on an errand!" "You fuckin' dykes!" "Now that's enough." "Being called fags is one thing, but dykes is unacceptable." "Still hurting?" "Careful..." "It's much better." "I'll tell the office you're sick." "We'll have a nice, quiet day, OK?" "Mom?" "I'm sorry I went with dad when he left." "That's OK." "Thanks." " I'll come to the airport." " No need." "I can't just leave you." "It's OK, really." "I'll call you from Mexico." "Go speak to her." "Do it for me." "No." "I don't want to, now." "Don't be ridiculous." "You can't go without saying goodbye." "I feel stupid now." "You don't know what happened." "You go on and on." "Stéphane this, Stéphane that." "Shut the door." "I like your tit." "It erects me in my pants..."