"20 bucks on pump 7." "Lucky 7." "You from around here?" "Uh, I just moved." "Oh, yeah?" "Just moved?" "For school." "Been here long?" "I just asked that." "Heh heh." "I used to live here." "I knew all the spots." "I mean, you gotta know 'em." "There are some great places." "And not just for gambling." "There's more." "I mean, gambling, sure." "Do you gamble?" "Sometimes." "Sometimes?" "That means a lot." "Yeah." "How much is the Instant Jackpot Madness?" "30 million." "Jeez Louise!" "Why hasn't somebody popped that bubble?" "!" "I mean, like..." ""Give me 1,000 tickets."" "Anyone ever done that?" "Why not?" "Let's do it." "1,000 tickets." "Give me 1,000." "Uh, I don't think I can do that." "Sure you can." "Yeah, count it." "I'll have to get the manager." "Get him." "Hi." "Yeah, we have a customer who wants 1,000 I.J.M. tickets." "Is that cash?" "Yeah." "Okay." "He'll be right up." "I'm not authorized for that much." "Okay." "So?" "Do you know any good places?" "Uh, a few." "I just got here." "Well, I could show you Vegas." "Yeah?" "Sure." "Oh." "Good times." "# One, two, three, four #" "They say you make your own luck." "I never understood that." "You're either lucky, or you're not." "When I lived in Las Vegas, I had plenty of luck." "Problem was, most of it was bad." "So..." "I drove until I ran out of gas." "And... here I am." "For now," "I'm taking it slow and steady." "My name is John, and I used to be lucky." "I had a great run for a while." "A smile from me, or a nod, and it was, "John, how are you?" "Right this way."" "I didn't have to order the usual." "They brought it to me, comped." "I tried my credit card on your machine." "It's broken." "The credit card or the machine?" "Five bucks on pump number seven." "And three Grand Gimmes." "Three Grand Gimmes." "And four Who's Your Daddys." "And eight Mega Mega Megas." "And eight Mega Mega Megas." "That's 20." "Of course, a little fun never hurts." "Just to test the waters." "Because if my luck comes back, it would be foolish not to capitalize." "Who's Your Daddy." "Congratulations. $22." "22?" "When the words "Who's", "Your", and "Daddy appear, one in each box, that's 1,000." "Your ticket has all three in one box... 22." "You're up two." "Heard somebody won Instant Jackpot Madness last night." "No." "I thought somebody won." "It's up to 15 million." "15?" "Just sayin'." "22, Instant Jackpot Madness." "Hey." "You're not allowed to look." "Do you have trash?" "Don't forget your five bucks on pump seven." "I guess I am pretty lucky." "I have a nice house in a gated community... a great job... sitting in a cubicle, filing claims, logging calls." "Thank you for calling Townsend Insurance." "May I have your claim number?" "And..." "I have the best seat in the house." "Thank you for calling Townsend Insurance." "Can I have your claim number, please?" "So, you know how you're always playing those scratch card games?" "No, I'm not." "My girlfriends and I all chipped in and bought a few, and we won. $100." "Technically, $1,000, but there were ten of us." "You won?" "Yeah." "Okay." "So, we each bought our own card, and mine was called "Who's Your Daddy"." "Like, who thinks of that?" "Heh." "I'll have to try that." "Yeah." "I was using my nail to scratch it off, and, like, nothing's coming off." "And the guy's, like, "You have to use a quarter."" "You should've played Instant Jackpot Madness." "Oh, well, we just played what they had at the store." "It pays 15 million." "Yeah, serious money." "I came close this morning." "Well, I didn't see that one." "And I'm grateful for my $100." "No, hey, 100 bucks is 100 bucks." "Jill?" "What?" "Do I look okay?" "Like, professional?" "Yeah." "I like your necktie." "I'm going to see Mr. Townsend." "Well, you look good." "Why are you seeing Mr. Townsend?" "Are you gonna ask for a raise?" "No." "You're gonna get a raise." "No, I'm not." "I've never had a desk job before, but I watched enough TV." "Do good work..." ""Yes, sir." "No, sir."" "And you move up." "Mr. Townsend, I was wondering..." "Do you know what's most important to me?" "Do you?" "Um... no, sir." "Family." "Family is the most important thing." "Don't you think?" "Sure." "Do you have a family?" "No." "Then why did you agree with me?" "Mr. Townsend..." "I've been doing pretty well here, I think." "So..." "Do you know what these awards are for?" "Fraud... detection." "You might think we're in the car insurance business." "We're not." "We're in the business of not paying fraudulent claims." "And I don't pay fraudulent claims more than anyone else." "Will you send Virgil in?" "Do you know Virgil?" "Virgil!" "John, this is Virgil." "How's the insanity driving plea?" "We're off the hook." "Make sure to submit the S.F.C." "She dropped the claim." "Virgil has debunked 15 fraudulent claims in the last six months." "Congratulations." "Alas, the tedium of paperwork proves too much for him." "You could've paid those 15 claims." "John here was just asking for more responsibility." "Isn't that right?" "He could be a fraud man." "Put him on Le Sabre." "I was thinking the Wildcat." "Giving him Wildcat?" "What's the Wildcat?" "1970 Buick Wildcat, mint condition." "The owner..." "a Miss Tasty D. Lite... says she was rear-ended in the desert outside of Vegas." "Virgil is gonna go investigate the claim, and I want you to go with him." "I can't." "Uh, I... don't like Vegas." "You don't like Vegas?" "How can you not like Las Vegas?" "I mean, it's not that I don't like it." "Then why did you say you didn't like it?" "So..." "the car is totaled." "$17,000." "Apparently, she's confined to a wheelchair." "She's also filed $180,000 in lost wages." "What do you think our Miss D. Lake does in order to justify $180,000 in lost wages?" "I was gonna say..." "sounds like a stripper name." "Yeah, that's right." "She's a stripper." "John, I have a phrase..." ""Up or out."" "Out?" "Did I..." "I want you to move up... all the way to Level 6 Adjuster." "A corner office, a space in the parking structure." "Some serious stuff." "Would I get, uh... money?" "Whoa!" "Hey!" "Wow." "We just ordered cocktails." "You gotta get me drunk before you start to molest me." "This feels right, doesn't it?" "You didn't belong in claims handling." "I mean, some people..." "Jill." "You know Jill." "She sits right next to you." "What's she gonna do besides claims handling?" "She's very good." "Really fast with the computer system." "Oh, sure." "She's great." "And she's a wild woman." "If you know what I mean." "You know what she loves?" "A good hair-pulling." "Mmm!" "Ow!" "I'm serious." "You should try it." "I'm kidding!" "No, I'm not." "All right." "Good luck, boys." "Wait a minute." "Am I making a mistake?" "Don't answer." "The S.F.C. form." "The Suspected Fraudulent Claims Referral form." "Be sure to fill it out." "And... welcome to fraud." "It's one hell of a ride." "Jill?" "Hey." "How'd it go?" "Are you and Mr. Townsend..." "He said he..." "Townsend Insurance." "May I have your claim number, please?" "It's none of my business, but..." "Thank you for calling Townsend Insurance." "Can I have your claim number, please?" "We leave in five." "Can we stop by my house first?" "I don't have clothes." "No." "See you in five." "Hey." "# I don't know why #" "# I love you so #" "# No, I don't know why... #" "Wow, it's coming down." "So, how'd you get into this?" "Was there, like, a course in college?" "Is that an S.F. C?" "Yeah." "I don't..." "Mr. Townsend gave it to me." "Where are we?" "The vehicle was reported a total loss." "The driver, Miss D. Lite, authorized the local company to bring the car here." "We're nowhere near Vegas." "Why would somebody bring the car here?" "This place is like the Swiss Bank of auto parts." "When a car is classified a total loss, they bring it here in perfect condition." "Should I get out?" "Let's go." "The dog's out." "It's gone." "You mean it's out running around?" "I said the dog's gone." "The dog's gone." "The dog's gone." "Fuck you, the dog's gone!" "What's it gonna be, John?" "'Cause this is a pretty big case." "You can get your Adjuster level 6." "For a guy like you, counterfeiting, minor racketeering, larceny, pimpery, lewdness." "I never did any of that." "First step to fraud detection is admitting you're a fraud." "Fall back, fall back." "Hold on." "It's courteous to knock." "I'm looking for a 1970 Buick Wildcat classified as a total loss, brought here three days ago." "1970 Buick Wildcat?" "That's a mighty fine automobile." "Fraud investigation," "Townsend Insurance Company, LLC." "Okay, Mr. Townsend Insurance, LLC." "My name is Bismarck." "My associate Mordecai." "Be happy to assist you... assuming you have proof the car was a total loss." "But you don't, do you?" "Heh heh heh." "And if you don't have that proof of total loss report, then you ain't nothin' but a trespasser." "That went pretty well." "You think that matters?" "The car's not there." "Believe me." "If it was there, they wouldn't be so flippant." "Maybe we should head to Vegas." "We're not going to Vegas." "Mr. Townsend said "outside Vegas"." ""Outside Vegas" isn't Vegas." "Plus, you don't like Vegas." "Mm." "We can't do anything else tonight." "Let's just get some sleep." "Here?" "I'm not sleeping here." "Look, per diem is $80." "Keep your receipts." "Call me in the morning, I'll come pick you up." "Give me the keys." "No." "Give me the fucking keys." "Screw you." "Drive me to a hotel now!" "Or?" "Or you don't want to know." "Right before we left, you had sex with Jill... the claims handler..." "in the women's bathroom." "Handicapped stall." "You were in there?" "Why would I be in the women's bathroom?" "You can't prove anything." "Well, you do whatever you were gonna do, and I'll just prove whatever I gotta prove." "Aah!" "Ow!" "Ohh!" " Howdy." " Hey." "So, I don't get a "howdy"?" "Pardon?" "You didn't say "howdy"." "I just did." "To him." "Howdy." "Huh." "Thanks." "Here's yesterday's per diem... 70." "70?" "You said 80." "Yeah, well, ten for the shades." "Instant Jackpot Madness." "What's the pot?" "Give me 20." "Your buddy's got a nice little envelope of cash, eh?" "20 more." "What's up?" "And a shower." "I'd like a shower." "I can take a shower." "You want to put the rest on Jackpot?" "Why would I want that?" "Everything all right?" "Yeah." "Fine, fine." "Is there a problem with the water?" "It's good." "Your buddy's not in there with you, is he?" "No." "When someone rents a shower, but they don't shower, sometimes they're gettin' perverse." "No!" "No perverse... ness!" "Mr. Townsend's office." "Jill?" "Johnny." "You're in Mr. Townsend's office." "Yes, sir." "Oh." "Well, what are you, uh..." "Is he there, too?" "You're jealous." "No." "I just thought..." "You know I paint my fingernails with little happy faces?" "My pinky has a frown now, and it's gonna stay there until you come home." "Well, that's... cool." "I know." "Is Mr. Townsend around?" "There you go." "Love you." "Yeah?" "Uh... ahem." "Mr. Townsend." "Yeah?" "It's John." "Do you do background checks and stuff?" "Background checks..." "you bet." "So you know." "Know what?" "Well, it's funny how we're coming to Vegas..." "I mean, outside Vegas..." "because I used to live there." "Is this about, uh..." "you not liking Vegas?" "No, I just..." "Because this is a fraud investigation." "You've gotta put your personal issues aside." "Not that you're not." "Virgil tells me you're doing a great job." "He did?" "Yeah, just got off the phone with him." "He wants me to up your per diem from the regular 60 to 70." "70?" "Oh." "John, you know Jill." "Do you think she'd appreciate a dozen smiley face balloons?" "She hasn't been as, uh, cheerful these last few days." "Well, Mr. Townsend, um, you know, I used to gamble." "You never want to show all your cards." "Bro, you're right." "I can't be rushing into this with smiley face balloons trailing behind me." "Thanks, John." "I appreciate your candor." "You're welcome." "Hey." "Hey what?" "So, this 80 per diem... how did they decide on 80?" "Why not 70?" "There's this expression... in prison..." "When a cross-dressing skinhead don't rape you, take your smokes... you don't ask why." "Here, navigate." "Where are we going?" "Miss D. Lite works in Moriarty." "Moriarty?" "You thought I was gonna say..." "Vegas?" "I don't know what you were gonna say." "Normally, we analyze the accident site, interview witnesses and cops, do a forensic crash analysis, then find the stripper, get her to contradict the evidence, at which point she would drop the auto and medical claims." "But we're close to Moriarty, so we have to see the stripper first, prove she's lying without the evidence." "What if she's not lying?" "Here's the plan, all right?" "You're a lonely guy looking for attention." "You go in there, you find Miss D. Lite, you tell her something..." "Your ex-wife was in a wheelchair." "The point is, you're lonely, and she's the only one." "We just have to show her transacting at the lap dance rate." "I'm not doing that." "You do it." "Yeah, I'm a lonely guy looking for attention." "What if she really is hurt?" "You ever think of that?" "This is entrapment." "Come on, man." "We're talking about one lap dance." "If we come back with this claim busted, you're gonna get your Adjuster Level 6, buy your girlfriend a nice jewel-encrusted happy face." "Girlfriend?" "I don't..." "If we don't..." "I'm gonna still be 15 for 16 successful claims." "And you?" "You?" "You'll still be you." "I don't even gamble." "No." "No way." "You know, unless it's a little something, like a token." "'Cause otherwise, what are you gonna do?" "You go to work every day like a..." "You know they have these swipe cards?" "Can you believe that?" "But if the odds are right... then, boom!" "No more swipe card." "Bye-bye, swipe card!" "I'm sorry." "We're here now, and there's no need to complicate things." "We're just relaxing and having fun." "Yeah?" "Good times." "Good times." "Whoo!" "Heh heh." "Ten minutes should give us enough charge." "They don't let you bring cameras inside strip clubs." "Well, I don't let them file fraudulent insurance claims, but they do it." "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator... #" "Five bucks." "For what?" "Lunchtime cover." "Gets you a free drink." "What if I don't want a drink?" "It's five bucks." "# It's time for the percolator #" "# Percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "Five bucks." "# It's time for the percolator #" "# Percolator #" "Here we go." "All righty." "That'll be five bucks." "The guy said I get a free drink." "Five bucks is my tip." "Heh." "So, what happened to you?" "Some guy rear-ended me." "You okay?" "Apparently not." "Well, I mean, you're not paralyzed, right?" "No." "It's just..." "Where are you from?" "I'm from..." "Las Vegas." "I'm here, you know, having lunch." "Las Vegas." "Are you a waitress here?" "I am now." "I used to be a prime-slot, 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. dancer." "Maybe you've heard of me." "Tasty D. Lite?" "No." "Yeah." "This thing." "My boyfriend says the insurance company is gonna pay me, but I don't know." "Your boyfriend know you're a stripper?" "Yeah." "He works for the government, so, like, same thing." "Um, I could, uh... use a dance." "If you're not busy." "I can't take your money." "This isn't sexy." "I had an ex-girlfriend who was in a wheelchair." "I liked it." "Yeah?" "I swear." "Can't." "See those steps up to the champagne room?" "That's where we do our lap dances." "Oh." "I could wheel you up there." "Come on, it'll be fun." "Okay." "Uh, I only have 35." "35 is fine, sweetie." "Thanks for the confidence boost." "Good work." "Where are your clothes?" "Boy, you changed so fast." "You got her..." "commerce, transaction paid for, services rendered." "You know, I think she's really hurt." "Don't do it, John." "No, I'm serious." "John... she's a stripper who likes to strip." "So, somebody put her up to this, and the faster she's out of that wheelchair, the faster she's back to doing what she loves." "She had an accident." "She was driving, and somebody rear-ended her." "Rear-ended?" "In the fucking desert?" "Textbook squat-and-swoop." "I need 45 bucks." "It was five bucks to get in, five for a drink, and the rest for the dance." "They charged you to get in?" "Five bucks." "You get a receipt?" "Give me my money!" "Forty." "Okay, five." "Thanks." "Oh, I see what you mean about this form." "It's really complicated." "What should I put down about Tasty... the stripper?" "I didn't say it was complicated." "No, I mean..." "What should I put down?" "You know what you can do?" "Navigate." "We're on highway 40." "Where's the accident site?" "It says, uh, Kelbaker Road." "Kel-baker?" "Kel-baker." "Kelba-ker." "Kelbaker." "Turn off the headlights!" "Thank you." "Can I help you fellas?" "We're just passing through, investigating an accident." "Townsend Insurance, LLC." "I don't think so." "This here is the Nature Compound." "Nothing artificial or... mechanized goes through." "You got a gun." "We use the minimum technology required." "Shoes for our feet, guns to ward off foreign elements." "You've got a hat." "Right you are, my friend." "But you still can't go through." "And if you proceed through the gate, we will use force to stop you from entering the compound!" "Of course, there is the option of joining us." "Hats off!" "You think we're in trouble?" "Take 'em off!" "No." "Hats off!" "We have to turn back." "I'll see you in the morning." "You can't be serious." "$80 per diem." "Find a hotel, if you like." "What about them?" "Hello?" "Do you know who this is?" "Hello?" "It's me." "Who's "me"?" "Me." "Oh, me." "Heh." "So, whatcha doin'?" "Nothing." "I was thinking that... you and I should be girlfriend and boyfriend." "Do you like that?" "Okay." "Wow, you don't sound that into it." "I can't really talk." "Oh, yeah." "Tell me what's happening." "We're, uh..." "investigating." "Really?" "Yeah, so I can't talk." "Oh, yeah." "Of course." "Well, good luck." "Be careful." "Call me when you can." "I love you." "Okay." "Love you." "Love you." "Yay." "Ha ha!" "Okay, secret agent man." "I'll talk to you later." "Bye." "When I lived in Vegas," "I used to have this dream." "Not every night, but a lot." "Lately, I've been having it again." "Come up here, Princeton!" "Tell Jesus why you..." "Strip down!" "No, you've got to strip down naked!" "Okay, okay!" "Strip down naked in the desert!" "Ow!" "Whoa." "Shit." "You're not naked." "Neither are you." "You're on national park land." "There's no vagrancy." "Or smoking!" "Are you crazy?" "Our warning index is orange..." "medium to high." "We're trying to..." "We're investigators." "Townsend Insurance, LLC." "Fraud division." "And sleeping in your car?" "We got stopped last night by some crazy naked guys with guns." "Right over there." "Well, I was on duty last night." "Didn't see a thing." "Yes, you did." "I'm gonna let you two go with a warning." "Vagrancy isn't permitted on federal land." "We don't want any trouble." "No, fuck that." "Don't back down to him." "Stand up to him like you did the naked guys last night." "They backed down last night from my man here." "No, fuck that." "Fuck him up, John!" "Do the thing, man." "Do the..." "No, no." "Could you tell us where the 1970 Buick Wildcat was rear-ended last week?" "You mean that nice young schoolteacher who hurt her neck?" "Sure." "Follow me." "What was that?" "What do you mean, what was that?" "What was what?" "So, now we're following this nimrod?" "He seemed like a nice guy." "Yeah, you seem like a nice guy." "I am a nice guy." "Yeah, you are." "What is this bullshit act?" "I'm the one who got Tasty D. Lite." "I'm the one that talked down the naked guy." "No, no." "You asked the naked guy about his hat." "But naked guy left us alone, didn't he?" "The other naked guys took off their hats, too." "I'm doing all the heavy lifting." "You didn't get Tasty D. Lite." "I got her for you." "I got every woman in there and the gay bartender." "You mean with that outfit?" ""Look at me." "I can dance like James Brown."" "So, what's with you and Happy Face?" "She's cute... in a psycho kind of way." "You're psycho." "Maybe I should show her my James Brown dance." "I was the first one on the scene." "The woman who owned the Buick Wildcat... she was in the driver's seat." "She complained of shooting pains." "And the guy who rear-ended her... he was in a Honda Civic." "The back of the Buick was all bashed up." "How's a tiny little Honda gonna bash up a steel-frame muscle car?" "It's not." "That's why it's called "fraud"." "Plus, the Buick wasn't crumpled." "More like it had a hole punched in it." "From a sledgehammer." "Amateurs." "The guy who owned the Honda... you could tell he was rich." "He had this big-faced watch you see those rich guys wear." "I love those." "Oh, man, this one was a real beaut." "Anyway, he felt really terrible, said he'd be willing to pay for her car to get towed." "Do you know where they towed the car to?" "You need Smitty." "Go to the county fair where they have the sideshow acts and ask for the Flame Lord." "That's Smitty." "Why would I be asking for Smitty the Flame Lord?" "He's the one who towed the car." "He goes on contract runs to supplement his income." "Flame Lord doesn't pay?" "You'd think." "Thanks for your help." "Hey, no worries." "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding." "# Do-do-do-do-doooo #" "# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh #" "# Ba-da-da-da Da-da-da-da #" "# Didn't I teach you right, now?" "#" "# Didn't I?" "#" "It's not easy to find a partner." "You want someone nice." "But what does that mean?" "Nice?" "Not nice?" "Just a minute!" "Townsend Insurance, LLC." "May I have your claim number, please?" "Hey." "Hi." "It's John." "I know who it is, silly." "I'm in here!" "Just..." "I'm sorry." "Where are you?" "How's it going?" "Good." "I found out that the injury claim is fraudulent." "You did?" "But last night, things got kind of hairy, but I talked our way out of it." "Wow." "And now..." "I found out where the vehicle is." "I mean, I found the guy who towed it, so we're going there." "I knew it." "I knew it." "Mr. Townsend said you might make Adjuster Level 6." "Yeah." "About that..." "Mr. Townsend..." "John." "Mr. Townsend and I are finished, okay?" "I need you to know that." "I already decided before you even gave me the hair tug." "The love tug." "Do you like James Brown?" "What?" "Ah." "I gotta go." "But thanks for talking." "Anytime, Johnny Rocket." "I love you." "Okay, I love you, too." "How's it going in there?" "Just fine, James Brown." "My dad brought me to carnivals just like this one." "Well, he brought me to one carnival." "But it was just like this." "Hey, how about..." "Virgil." "I gotta play this." "Yeah, you do." "How do you win?" "The stuffed doll prize is inversely proportional to the target size." "The smaller the target, the bigger the prize." "Cock it." "Come on." "You come on!" "You got the Flame Lord?" "Flame Lord is unavailable due to technical difficulties." "Well, can you tell us where he is?" "We just want to talk to him." "Are you guys cops?" "Yeah, we're fuckin' cops." "Can I see some I. D?" "You want some damn I. D?" "Here comes some I.D." "Ah, come on, man." "He's right there." "What's wrong with him?" "Let me go, and I'll tell you." "Fuck off." "Why don't you talk to him?" "You're better with people." "Will you hold this?" "Aww." "Okay." "I don't trust you." "Smitty?" "Yeah." "Hey." "My name is..." "Sorry." "They say I'll burn out in a few days." "What happened?" "Oh, the zipper melted shut, and the fuel regulator is broken." "Can't they cut you out?" "Eh, no one will get close." "I'm sorry to have to do this, but can I ask you a few questions?" "Townsend Insurance, LLC." "Hey, man, do you have a cigarette?" "That's actually the worst part." "I'll get you a smoke." "You got a cigarette?" "Here's your cigarette." "If you don't mind, I'll throw it." "Ha ha!" "Ohh, sweet Jesus." "You got a light?" "Fuck!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "All I wanted was a goddamn cigarette!" "Come on!" "Hold on." "Ohh." "Okay, hold the pack between your feet on the ground." "Next time you flame, just bend over the box like it was Epsom salts." "Breathe deep." "That's good thinking." "Uhh!" "Fuckin'" "A!" "Ahh!" "Uhh." "Ahh!" "How did it work?" "Amazing." "I think I lost my eyebrows, but that was the best goddamn smoke I've ever had." "Can I ask you a question about Deluxe Transportation Systems?" "Shoot, my friend." "There was an accident a while back... a 1970 Buick Wildcat and a Honda Civic... out in the desert." "Oh, the schoolteacher." "Where'd you tow the Buick?" "Hey, Teach, I've been bad." "You must spank me with a ruler." "Smitty!" "Where's the car?" "Uh..." "Vegas." "Vegas Scrap  Tow." "I was, like, "Hey, Teach." "You... come with me." "To the school of hard knocks."" "Thanks." "Thank you." "I know they say you have highs and lows." "But I don't see why you can't have just highs." "What's wrong with feeling good?" "I'd like my 80 bucks." "You can't have your hotel and your per diem, too." "From last night, in the desert." "Will you give me the keys?" "I thought I'd head into town, check out what's new." "You don't like Vegas." "Okay, I didn't like it before, but maybe they have new stuff." "And I figured, who knows?" "I'd just check it out." "It's no big deal." "I'm not tired, and I thought it'd be fun." "I think they're over here." "Okay, thanks." "Bye." "Want to come?" "Okay." "Bye." "Yeah?" " Hey, baby." " Oh, hi." "Whatcha doin'?" "I gotta go." "Really?" "I wanted to talk." "Later." "Aren't you gonna call it out?" "Changing 20!" "Sorry, buddy." "What the fuck?" "Sorry." "This is bullshit." "Where's your cash machine?" "It's broke." "That was quick." "Okay, okay!" "Strip down naked in the desert!" "And if you're naked, and you're cold, what you gotta do?" "You got to put God on!" "Get it?" "You got to put Jesus on, okay?" "You got to put the Holy Spirit on!" "Tell me, do you have Jesus on?" "Put him on, and feel the power of His holy embrace!" "Bagels and cream cheese." "Oh, thanks." "Come on, we're late." "Did you sleep okay?" "I had the weirdest dream." "Here's the plan." "We got the medical claim debunked." "If we can locate the vehicle, we can prove that the material damage claim is false, too." "This could be dangerous." "Hey!" "I'm putting the petty cash in the glove box." "Why are you putting it in there?" "Let's go." "What can I do for you?" "We're from Townsend Insurance, LLC." "We're looking for a 1970 Buick Wildcat towed here by a Deluxe Transport Systems." "All right." "Maybe I can help." "Lucypher." "I'm the owner." "Lucypher?" "Lucypher?" "It's French." "The car you're talking about is right over here." "Watch your step." "You gotta be lucky." "Luck-y!" "Are you lucky?" "That's a dumb question." "I know you are." "I can feel you." "No, not like that." "I mean, you feel lucky." "It feels lucky in here." "Whoo!" "Heh heh." "But it is hot." "Does that bother you... that they keep it hot in here?" "I mean, maybe it's good for the food, keeps it fresh." "Although, you'd think it'd be better cold for freshness." "Fresh... ness." "911." "Vegas Scrap  Tow." "They shot my friend." "Are you hurt, sir?" "No, I don't think so." "Where are you?" "Uh, westbound on 215, on the side of the road." "Okay, I authorize payment." "I just can't believe it." "Yes, I see." "You've finally submitted one." "Don't take that tone with me." "Mr. Townsend." "It's Virgil." "This isn't funny." "Townsend Insurance, LLC." "May I have your claim number, please?" "Jill." "Johnny." "They shot Virgil." "Who shot Virgil?" "Lucypher." "He owns the junkyard." "Just now?" "Yeah, like ten minutes ago." "Johnny, Mr. Townsend's on the phone with Virgil right now." "What?" "He's alive?" "Yeah." "Mr. Townsend's yelling." "Poor Virgil." "He's on the phone with Virgil right now?" "Mr. Townsend is not happy about paying." "I mean, it's like $200,000." "Hold on." "I gotta take this call." "Oh, I can't be in Mr. Townsend's office, but you can hang up with me the first chance..." "Hello?" "Yes, hello." "John Alig... hairy?" "Yeah." "Yes, Mr. Alig-hairy, we have a police car at Vegas Scrap  Tow, and there's no sign of violence." "Mr. Alig-hairy, are you aware that it is against the law to falsely report a crime?" "Where are you now, sir?" "I'm in..." "Las Vegas." "No, no." "Wait, wait." "I take him to his wife's house." "He's bleeding 'cause he's fallen down so many times." "And his wife was, like, "Well, thank you." "But where's his wheelchair?"" "Yeah." "All right, man." "Take it easy." "Y'all be good." "Thank you." "Sure." "Yo, yo!" "Hey." "But she was pretty fine." "I could've spent the night!" "Jesus!" "What the fuck is going on?" "!" "They shot you!" "John!" "Chill." "I told you." "The first step to fraud detection is admitting that you're a fraud." "That's bullshit." "Regardless of what you think you saw, a woman had an accident." "Her policy stipulated she was due compensation." "The insurance adjusters found no fraud, so they paid the claim." "They paid..." "You." "They paid you." "Don't worry, though." "I told Mr. Townsend you were top-notch." "You'll get your Adjuster Level 6." "The petty cash in the glove box?" "That's yours." "About 1,000 bucks." "No." "I refuse to be a party to this." "Oh, you're a party, all right." "You had sex with Jill..." "Townsend's girl..." "in the women's bathroom, handicapped stall." "You picked the wrong guy to mess with." "No, no." "Actually..." "I picked the guy who runs away." "Welcome to Fraud." "It has been one hell of a ride." "Sir?" "So, you want 1,000 tickets?" "Heh." "That's $1,000." "That's $1,000." "Actually, it's $1,089." "You want it all?" "Yeah." "Why not?" "Let's do it." "No, okay." "Just 1,000." "1,000 it is." "You know what?" "Um... make it 800." "Ooh, yeah." "I already punched it in." "Sorry about that." "Cool." "Whoo!" "Well, I don't see any winners." "Oh?" "Yeah." "No, they put these little stars next to the winning numbers." "But if you want..." "Oh, do you still want to go out?" "My name is John... and I am not lucky." "For the first time," "I'm living the life I'm living." "And it's all right." "I'd like to think Virgil did the whole scam just to show me that." "But he probably did it for the money." "Who knows?" "If he hadn't hit me with the board," "I might've wanted a piece of the action." "Maybe that's why he hit me." "Knock, knock." "Oh." "Perfect." "So... you want to play a game?" "I'm kind of tired." "Ta-da." "I stopped playing those." "I know." "But look..." "it's a new one." "Thanks, no." "I..." "It's called "Have a Nice Day"." "I had to get it." "And it's a big prize, too, if you get "Have", "A", "Nice", and "Day"" "under the smiley faces." "Go ahead." "Scratch it." "I'll do it." ""Have"." "How are we doing?" "Pretty good." "Ha!" "Here, let me scratch one." "John." "John." "Jill?" "Do you love me?" "You know I love you." "No matter what?" "Now you're scaring me." "If we win a lot of money... a lot... and I blow it all... will you stay with me?" "Well, first of all, I bought this card, so technically," "I'm letting you scratch it off." "But even if we win, you wouldn't blow it." "I mean, assuming we get married," "I would keep the money in my name, and I would give you, like, an allowance." "And you could do whatever you want with the allowance." "So, stop fucking around and scratch the happy face!" "You're cute." "They say you make your own luck." "But I don't need luck anymore." "Which makes me... the luckiest guy in the world." "# I don't know why #" "# I love you so #" "# No, I don't know why #" "# I love you so #" "# You have nothing to give me #" "# But that doesn't matter #" "# Long as I have you close by #" "# It's all I'll ever want #" "# 'Cause, baby #" "# I don't know why #" "# I love you so #" "# I don't know why #" "# I love you so #" "# I don't know why #" "# I need you so #" "# No, I don't know why #" "# I want you so #" "# You make me happy #" "# When I'm feeling blue #" "# You're all I cling to #" "# You make me feel brand-new #" "# And, baby #" "# Baby, that's why #" "# I love you so #" "# Believe me #" "# Darling, that's why #" "# I love you so #" "# Ooh #" "# You make me happy #" "# When I'm feeling blue #" "# You're all I cling to #" "# You make me feel brand-new #" "# And that is why #" "# I love you so #" "# Ooh #" "# Baby, that's why #" "# I love you so #" "# I know that's why #" "# I love you so #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# Percolator #" "# It's time #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# Percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# Percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# Percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# Percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #" "# It's time for the percolator #"