"( dance music playing )" "(women cheering, screaming )" "( music continues )" "( camera beeping )" "Are you really going to film everything?" "Yes." "Hi." "Hi, Claire." "Zoe:" "Trust me." "One day you'll watch this and thank me for capturing your last night of freedom." "So go on, you're on." "Okay." "Hi, I'm Claire Russell, soon to be Claire Russell-Morris, as I'm getting married next Saturday." "( friend hoots )" "And we're on our way to Vegas for my bachelorette party." "( all cheering )" "Zoe:" "Yeah!" "I don't know what else to say." "I feel stupid." "Zoe:" "Just say anything." "Say whatever you want." "I'm in love with my soul mate Dave Morris, and I can't believe it, but I really did find the one." "All:" "Aw!" "Punch buggy" "Ow." "I'm Zoe." "I'm Claire's best friend." "And not a lot of people know, but when Claire was 12," "I taught her how to kiss." "Shut up." "We need to get everything out in the open." "No, but-- but seriously." "No joke." "You are my BFF, and you've always been there for me whenever I've been in trouble." "Yeah, like..." "Like anything." "You've always been there for me." "And even though you're getting hitched, we're still gonna have a girls' night out, right?" "Yes, Zoe." "Yes." "I love this girl." "Punch buggy!" "(girls laughing)" "All right, Leslie, you're up." "Pass." "Come on." "Just say who you are." "Leslie Bowman, Claire's wiser older sister, only by a couple of years." "Five, but who's counting?" "Yeah, burn." "Burn." "( makes sizzling noise )" "I'm sorry." "How do you and Claire even know each other?" "I have a mobile dog grooming business, you know, the kind that go to your house." "Oh." "Yeah, I've been shaving Claire's muffin for about three years now." "Her dog's name is Scout." "I know." "I was talking about her pussy." "(all laughing)" "Punch-- punch-- punch pick up." "Stickers!" "Stickers!" "You're not from around here?" "All:" "No." " Los Angeles." " That's a person in a car." "Oh, yay." "We're on our way to Vegas." " Oh, you're on the way to Vegas?" " Yeah." "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." "All:" "Yeah." "♪ ( Claire and Zoe singing "Mary Mack" ) ♪" "(Claire and Zoe laughing)" "I got her." "I need to pee." "Oh, look, champagne." "Zoe:" "We should grab a bottle." "I really gotta pee." "Where do we use the restroom?" " Man:" "It's outside." " Outside?" "Zoe:" "What did you get?" "Oh, you got a wine." "Whoo, party in the bathroom!" "Janet:" "Don't drink all my wine." "Is it good?" "Want some?" "Yeah." "Par" " Oh, you're driving." "You're driving." "( loud dance music playing )" "( inaudible)" "( music stops )" "( music starts )" "( cheering )" "Whoo!" "Vegas, here we come!" "We're here!" "( Zoe and Claire screaming )" "( music stops )" "Okay, let's go over the itinerary." "We check into the hotel, penthouse suite, of course." "Hey, I don't got no penthouse money." "Relax." "It's on me." "Zoe:" "Leslie married a rich dude." "She's a one-percenter." "We'll have a privately catered in-suite dinner-- lobster, caviar, the works." "Lobster!" "Then we'll see Celine Dion in concert, front row center seats." "Wake up to brunch poolside at the Bellagio." "Thank you, Leslie." "It sounds amazing." "It's very generous of you." "Yeah, sounds awesome." "But I never heard the words "man-ass" or "footlong"" "anywhere in your itinerary." "That's because it's not that kind of bachelorette party." "Janet:" "Oh." "What about games?" "What game?" "Janet:" "The bachelorette party game." "You know, like, getting a random guy to give us his underwear or kissing a dude with a mustache." "Um, no." " ( Horn honking )" " Oh." "Show us your tits!" "You show us your balls." "Show her your balls." "( Zoe screams )" "Zoe:" "Yeah, baby!" "Welcome to Vegas, girls!" "The valet." "We have a reservation under the name Bowman," "Leslie Bowman." "Okay, have fun, but not too much fun." "Love you, too." "Bye." "Zoe:" "What's Dave doing for his bachelor party?" "His friends got a hotel room for poker night and "entertainment."" "You're okay with that?" "It's his bachelor party." "Boys will be boys." "But I trust him." "Sucker." "I have you for one night in the penthouse." "Excellent, that's our most opulent suite." "It's over 3,000 square feet with four separate bedroom suites, marble baths, eight flat screens, and a full time butler." "Holy shit, I think I just squirted." "Perfect." "The room is $4,500 a night, and I'll need a credit card deposit for additional incidentals." "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bowman, but your credit card representative would like to speak with you." "Wonder what happened." "Zoe:" "I don't know." "Someone got a hold of my credit card numbers and just charged up a storm." "Oh, no!" "But the credit card company cancelled the cards." "I won't get new cards for a couple of days." "I'm sorry." "Look, we don't need the penthouse suite anyway." "How much for just a normal room?" "I'm sorry, but we're completely booked." "Seriously?" "Nothing?" "I wish I could help, but there's a shoe convention this weekend." "You're going to have a tough time finding a room anywhere." "Janet:" "Check these out!" "I got us bathrobes." "Egyptian cotton, super comfy." "You mind if I charge these to the room?" "What?" "Okay." "Okay, thank you." "Bye-bye." "Now, it's nothing fancy, but I got us a room." "( cheering )" "This isn't that bad." "(siren wailing)" "( man groaning)" "Zoe:" "Oh, God." " What?" " Nothing." "Nothing." "Home sweet home." "Ugh." "I call bed!" "( laughing)" " Zoe:" "Comfy?" " Yes." "Janet:" "Very comfy." "This place is a dump." "Zoe:" "No, it's fine." "Oh!" "What's that?" "It's a black light app to show us if the sheets are clean." " Leslie:" "Ew." " Zoe:" "Oh." "Janet:" "What?" "What?" "Claire:" "Oh, my God, I think they're moving." "Leslie:" "Janet..."" "(Janet gasping ) Get it off!" " Get it off!" "Get it off!" "Oh, God!" " ( thudding )" "Zoe:" "What's that?" "(all groaning)" " Over here." " Get them off!" "( groaning continues )" "Claire:" "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no." " Oh, no!" " ( all shouting)" "Claire:" "This is our room." "There's my pissed-off sister." "I can't believe we're staying." "It's Vegas." "How much time are we gonna spend in the room anyway?" "Claire:" "Yeah, it's about being together." "Well, I am sleeping in the car tonight." "Let's go already!" "Zoe:" "I'll be there in a minute!" "(whirring)" "How many kids do you have?" "Oh, two." "My little angels." "You?" "No." "No kids for me." "(gurgling)" "Thank you." "Okay." "To Claire." "May you and David have a happy, healthy, wonderful marriage." "All:" "Aw." "Cheers!" "( laughs )" "Thanks, you guys." "You're gonna make me cry." "How about we do gifts?" "Yes." "Gifts." "Gifts." "Gifts." "Mine first." "Okay." "I just hope you don't already have one." "Oh, pretty." "It's beautiful." "I am not wearing this." "You have to." "It's your bachelorette party." "That, and you have to keep it on all night." "For the piece de resistance..." "Janet Oh, it's so pretty, Claire." " Oh, Claire, it got so pretty." " You look hot." "Okay, let's just go already." "We're gonna be late." "(girls giggling)" "( popping )" " ( shrieking)" " Fire!" "Your hair's on fire!" "(all screaming )" "( dog barking )" "Cab should be here in a minute." "Look at my hair." "I'm getting married in seven days." "( horn honking )" "( phone ringing)" "We're going to Caesar's Palace." "It's Dave." "No, let's go already." "Hey, honey." "You won't believe what just happened to me." "Hello?" "Hello?" "He butt dialed me." "Dave." "He can't hear me at all." " ( Loud music on phone)" " Dave." "Dave." "(girl giggling on phone)" "Girl:" "Get on all fours, bachelor boy." " (whip cracking)" " Oh, shit." "Dave." " Dave:" "Oh, my God." " Dave!" " ( donkey braying ) - ( chuckling)" "( vomiting )" "I don't think she's okay." "Okay, if we don't hurry up, we're gonna miss Celine Dion." "Fuck Celine Dion." "Oh, it's on now." "( Crowd cheers )" "( makes vomiting sound )" " No." " Yeah!" "Janet:" "How are you doing, Claire?" "Tell the camera." "I feel uncomfortable." "I really don't want a lap dance." "It will even the score, you know?" "Tit for tat." "Or tit for dick." "And we just spent 200 bucks." "I wanna see some of this!" "Yeah, yeah, make it rain." "Make it rain." "Make it rain!" "Zoe:" "One lap dance and we're out." "I promise." "It's a charbroiled Dodger Dog." "No way." "He's doing the bow tie." "The unicorn." "I've only heard about this in chat rooms." "It's in my eye." "Oh!" "Whoa, whoa." "That's it, you're in trouble." "( Music stops )" "What just happened?" "Beats me." "Our time's not up." "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I don't know." "Did you touch Marcus?" "I don't know." "Is he Marcus?" "Yeah, she touched me down there." "No, I didn't "touch" him." "Yes, she did." "Your thing, which is really substantial, was in my face, so I moved it." " Ma'am." " He was putting his thing all over me." "He gave her a unicorn." "I'm allowed to touch you, but you're not allowed to touch me." "That's the rules." "I didn't know the rules." "Nobody told me." "They're posted everywhere." "Okay." "Well, I didn't know." "Sorry." "You essentially raped me." "Oh, come on." "You had your big black dick in my face." "( footsteps )" "I can't believe we got kicked out of a strip club." "I know, right?" " Where to next?" " Here, hold this." "Zoe:" "It's not even midnight, and it's your bachelorette party." "Where are you going?" "Just wait there." "What did she say?" "Claire:" "I don't know." "It's been, like, 20 minutes, and Zoe hasn't come back." "Leslie:" "Where are you going?" "To find her." "Wait up." "I'm coming, too." "Where did she go?" "Claire:" "Zoe." "Zoe?" "Zoe." "Zoe." "Zoe:" "Shhh!" "Zoe, what's going on?" "Hey." "You got the money?" "Here it is. $300." "I'm getting us some coke." "Oh, come on, seriously?" "Janet:" "I'll try coke." "You guys, I need a pick-me-up." "We do a little bit of blow, we party our asses off." "You know, we need to switch up the vibe a little bit." "You got our stuff?" "The money's all there." "No, I'm gonna need everything." "That is everything." "(chuckling)" "( gasping )" " Don't shoot us." " Oh, God." "Shit." "Just don't look at his face." "Then he won't have to kill us." "We had a deal." "$300 for an eight ball." "Hey, bitch, I ain't no dealer." "I thought valet parkers had all the connections." "Come on." "Just give me all your jewelry." "Come on." "Come on, come on, come on." "Come on!" "( all gasping )" "Alright yeah, I want the ring, too." "Gimme the ring." "I'll take the ring, too." "Okay." "Thank you." "(laughing)" "Are those Christian Louboutins?" "You're wearing a red vest, but you know Louboutins?" "Don't!" "Don't sass me!" "What size are those?" "Hm?" "What size are those?" "Eight and a half." "Eight and a half." "Alright, I'll take 'em." "My lady's gonna give it up to me tonight." "Lucky her." "Oh, and the purses." " I'll take that purse, too." " ( Janet screaming )" "Valet:" "Stay put!" "Leslie:" "Hey, give it back." "Claire:" "Leslie, let him have it!" " Give it back." " ( man shouting)" "(gun firing)" "Claire:" "Leslie, no!" "Leslie!" "Are you okay?" "Are you okay?" "Are you shot?" "( panting )" "No." "I tackled him and the gun went off, and it just scared him, and he took off." "Oh, my God." "Leslie, why did you chase him?" "I don't know." "I think some rage just kicked in." "You're like the Incredible Hulk." "That's what it is." "( siren approaching )" "Thank God, the cops." "We gotta go." "Why?" "We'll make a report." "I have a warrant out for my arrest." "Awesome!" "For what?" "The purse!" "Bobby broke up with me, so I slashed his tires and keyed my name into his car." "I was supposed to go to court two weeks ago." "Zoe!" "Claire, honestly, I don't have time to hear a lecture from you now." "Jump." "Get in." "( all breathing heavily)" "( siren stops )" "( Leslie gagging )" "My God, what's that smell?" "We're in a Dumpster." "I know, but it's like rotten fish." "We just passed a seafood buffet." "All you can eat for $2.99." "We should hit that after." "Shh, shh." "They're right out there." "Radio:" "Delta 1-5-6-6, give me a call on your primary 5-5-7-4." "Man:" "Checking the alley." "( glass clanking )" "( panting heavily )" " ( clanking) - ( all gasping)" "( chatter on police radio )" "(shushing)" "I can't breathe." "I gotta get outta here." "Really?" "Relax." "I can't breathe." "She's hyperventilating." "She's having a panic attack." "You have to calm down." "Shh." "♪ ( singing "What's Going On" by Four Non Blondes ) ♪" "Four Non Blondes?" "It was their favorite song when they were, like, eight." "They used to sing it all the time." "It drove me nuts." "(continues singing)" "Man:" "Uh, nothing here." "It's all clear." "(car bell ringing)" "( car driving away )" "♪ ( Claire begins singing "What's Going On" ) ♪" "♪ ( both singing ) J"" "♪ ( all singing ) I" "(Zoe laughing)" "♪ ( man begins singing ) ♪" "( all scream )" "Leslie:" "Oh my God!" "♪ ( man continues singing ) ♪" "Oh, God." "( panting )" "You are such a fuck up." "But I love you." "So, what are we gonna do now?" "We go home, back to L.A." "How?" "Janet:" "Yeah, we're flat broke." "And we need at least a couple hundred bucks just for gas." "Well, we can't have anyone wire us the money because we don't have ID's to prove who we are." "And I'd have Larry drive here and bail us out, but um..." "He doesn't know I'm in Vegas." "Can Greg help us?" "Probably not." "Why?" "You know how when you Google something on the computer, the last word you wrote will pop up?" "I typed in the letter "M" for Martha's Vineyard." "I was gonna book a vacation for our seven year anniversary." "Anyway, I typed in the letter "M", and the site "Manstalk.LA" suddenly appeared." "Zoe:" "Oh, no." "What's Manstalk.LA?" "Greg's password was still entered." "That's when I saw it." "Oh!" "That is the worst thing I could ever imagine." "Which one's your husband?" "The one in the middle." "The irony is palpable." "What?" "Well, there's the Eiffel Tower..." "And they're giving him an Eiffel Tower." "So, did you talk to him about it?" "He filed for legal separation the morning we left for Vegas." "And evidently he cancelled all my credit cards." "Leslie, I'm so sorry." "I don't know what to say." "( inhaling)" "Thanks." "It's hard to talk about." "Well, we have it all on tape if you ever want to watch it back." "That's fucking awesome." "So what do we do?" "It's the middle of the night, and we're stuck in Vegas." "If we don't get some cash, we're never going to get home." "Uh, I've got an idea." "( rock music playing )" "( crowd cheering )" " (whistle blowing )" " No way." "This is nuts." "I've always wanted to do this." "Leslie:" "Seriously?" "It combines my two favorite passions, wrestling and gelatin." "And we need the money." "Bad." "This is gonna be great." "Janet, you don't have to do this." "I can win." "Are you just saying that, or do you actually believe that?" "I can win." "( crowd chanting )" "Winner!" "All right, ladies, who's up next?" "Now remember." "It's amateur night." "Alright?" "So any one of you who thinks you can pin the reigning champ, Veronica, will win $500." "I'll do it." "I'll wrestle her." "Looks like we got a taker." "Why don't you come on down and sign these release forms?" "You gotta love her." "Hi, I'm Trevor." "I'm Rick." "What are you two drinking?" "Sex on the beach." "A girl after my own heart." "Nothing for me." "Would you excuse us for a second?" "What are you doing?" "Those guys are cute." "I can't be your wingman." "You're not married yet." "Zoe, no." "Come on." "For old times' sake." "It'll probably be the last time you ever have a chance at helping me find my true love." "Please?" "Look, just say yes." "They are so cute." "Please?" "Please?" "Please?" "Please?" "Please?" "Please..." "Okay, I'll be your wingman." "Man:" "Everything all right?" "Totally." "I'm Kim." "And this is..." "Antoinette." "Drinks, ladies?" "So, Antoinette, what do you do?" "What brings you to Vegas?" "Oh, I'm in the shoe business." "Right." "Right, you're here for the convention." "Yup." "Yes." "Exactly." "I'm a cobbler." "You're a shoe cobbler, like a..." "Yes, I cobble." "Your eyes are following me?" "You're cute." "And you?" "Nothing as interesting as that." "I'm actually doing my residency right now at Johns Hopkins." " You're a doctor." " Yeah." "Okay, I'm up next." "Are you gonna wrestle?" "Fuck, yeah." "It was nice talking with you." "It was nice meeting you, Antoinette." "Antoinette?" "Long story." "Are you sure about this?" "I'm sure." "You're leaking." "I usually pump and dump before bed." "And now for our next bout, weighing in at 129 pounds, hailing from Simi Valley, California, ladies and gentlemen, Janet Simmons." "( crowd roaring )" "Wish me luck." "Can you see my c-section scar?" "Zoe:" "Uh, no, not at all." "How was that guy?" "Fine." "Fine?" "He's cute." "And defending her title as wrestling champion of Las Vegas Veronica!" "All right, I want a good clean fight, all right?" "Keep it clean, but, you know, make it dirty." "And remember, the winner gets $500." "( crowd exclaiming )" "Come on, Janet!" "You're gonna die tonight." "( shouting )" " ( Leslie crying) - ( siren wailing)" "Jesus Christ." "Is she gonna die?" "Janet, are you okay?" " ( All screaming)" " Son of a bitch." "Help her, she's bleeding." "I'm okay." "I'm okay." "(coughs)" "Did I win?" "Zoe:" "You got your ass kicked." "I did?" "Pretty bad, actually." "At one point, you cried." "Bummer." "I thought I lost." "You did get $300 just for trying." "( shrieking )" "Yes!" "Yeah!" "Janet, you did it." "Get me out of these." "I don't wanna go to the hospital." "Well, that's where you're going, so..." "I'm not bleeding." "I'm okay." "I'm not bleeding." "Pathetic." "Excuse me?" "She's too old to be wrestling." "Come on, look at her." "Fuck you." "Leslie, it's okay." "It is not okay." "You apologize." "No." "My friend has more guts and courage than you could ever know." "You apologize." "Fuck you, you crazy bitch." "Don't touch me." "You apologize." "Paramedic:" "Don't touch her!" "(all shouting )" "( brakes screeching )" "Go!" "(siren wailing)" "( panting )" "Where are we?" "I don't know." "How are we gonna get back?" "There's no taxis." "We'll have to walk." "Zoe:" "We should probably take these pills then." "Where'd you get those?" "I swiped them from the ambulance." "What are they?" "( sobbing ) I have no idea." "I'm not going to take just some random pill." "It could be anything." "And there's only two." "I took one already." "Are you crazy?" "(Zoe laughing)" "I took one, too." "Leslie." "Zoe:" "And I got a whole bottle." "What, they're not dead." "Look how happy they are." "Zoe:" "Come on, Claire." "Stop peer-pressuring me." "This is not high school." "I'm not taking it." "( shrieking )" "( screaming )" "(laughing)" "( splashing )" "(all shouting )" "We should play those games now." "The bachelorette party games?" "Play to 21?" "Wait, what happens if we don't get to 21?" "Your marriage is doomed." "Doomed." "Well then, we better play to 21!" "( laughing, shrieking)" "Where's Janet?" "I don't know." "Stop the car." "Man:" "Pull over!" "Pull over!" "Pull over right now!" "Pull over!" "It's the last challenge, and we can't afford a limo." "(all laughing)" "Whoo!" "(all shrieking)" "I am loving me some fucked up Claire." "Zoe:" "Fucked up Claire!" "Fucked up Claire!" "Fucked up Claire!" "Fucked up Claire... ( all chanting )" "Yeah!" "You know what fucked up Claire does?" "Fucked up Claire flashes her tits out the sunroof!" "(thudding)" "Fucked up Claire, yeah!" "( shrieking )" "Janet:" "Believe it or not, I don't have a lot of girlfriends." " No." " Janet:" "No, seriously." "My day's packed." "I wake up, feed the twins, give Larry his morning cup of coffee and blowjob." "I get home, watch "Duck Dynasty,"" "have a glass of boxed rosé, blow Larry again and crash." "You blow your husband twice a day?" "Well, yeah, you have to reciprocate the cunnilingus." "(Zoe laughing)" "Yo, full disclosure." "I kinda invited myself to Claire's bachelorette party to make some new friends." "Girls:" "Aw." " ( Claire laughing) - ( horn honking )" "Janet:" "Eat my ass and learn how to fucking drive!" "(all laughing)" "Oh, my God." "I need to get laid." "Dude." "No." "No, I need to get back in the saddle and get over my marriage." "You go, girl." "I need a guy like Larry." "Yeah." "Leslie:" "Yeah." "I want my ring back." "Sorry, honey." "That's not gonna happen." "That guy is long gone, and so is your ring." "No, that's the guy that robbed us." "I want my ring back." "Oh, my God." "Is that him?" "It looks like him." "That's fucking him, all right." "He had a gun to my face, and I looked at him dead in the eye and..." "Claire's right." "It is him." "I'm not getting married without my ring." "Well, what do we do?" "It's because of me your ring got taken." "So I'm gonna get your ring back." "Did you get everything?" "Janet:" "Oh." "Oh, cool." "Leslie:" "Where'd you get all this stuff?" "The mini-mart." "They had everything." "Leslie:" "They sell stun guns at the mini-mart?" "They do in Vegas." "What is this for?" "It's to conceal our identities in case anyone sees us." "It's to cover your face." "Here." "( buzzes )" "Oh." "( buzzes )" "Here." "How do I look?" "Pretty cool, actually." "The green brings out your eyes." "Aw." "Thanks, Janet." "(both giggling)" "Leslie:" "Hey." "This yellow's mine." "Are you crazy?" "With your pale complexion, you should wear orange." "It doesn't matter." "Here, take that." "Leslie:" "Great, so you're taking yellow?" "Leslie." "Does everyone know the plan?" "Now let's get my motherfucking ring back." "( hip-hop music playing )" "(Zoe shouting) Get him!" "Get him!" "What the fuck?" "Get him." "Get his gun, Janet." "It's not here." "No gun." "No gun." "Get off me." "Get off me." "Get in the car, bitch!" "( screaming )" "What the hell?" "What do you want from me?" "I want my ring!" "I'm not getting married without my ring!" "I don't have your ring." "( glass breaks )" "Damn, Claire." "You messed with the wrong girls." "Check his pockets." "There's over $500 here." "That's our money." "Anything else?" "I'm sorry, Claire." "Your ring's not here." "Maybe he pawned it or something." "Or maybe it's at his house with the rest of our shit." "Driver?" "Yeah?" "Take us to 972 Filbanks Avenue." "Where the hell is that?" "I'll map it." "Do you guys think maybe we should just ditch him and the stolen limo and get out while we still can?" "No?" "( car door slamming )" "Janet:" "That's the house." "Gimme the keys." "I'm going in." "Claire:" "What if someone else is there?" "I'll knock on the door, and if someone answers," "I'll say I'm looking for..." " Charlie." " Charlie." "Are we even sure this is the guy that robbed us?" "What do you mean?" "This guy is wearing a tie." "SQ?" "I distinctly remember the guy who robbed us was not wearing a tie." "Obviously, he put on a tie." "I checked the house, but no ring." "But I found these." "My Christian Louboutins." "Oh, it is him." "You asshole." "Oh." "When he comes to, we'll find out where your ring is." "(bubbling)" "Leslie?" "I don't know if it's all the pills or the whole, you know, home-invasion thing." "It's just a little stressful." "This is really good weed." "How do you know?" " I'm a daily toker." " You are?" "I wake and bake." "Otherwise, I'm really uptight." "Janet:" "I'm gonna teach Charlie here a lesson." "He victimized us, and now it's time for a little payback." "What are you gonna do, Janet?" "( buzzing )" "Big deal, you shaved off an eyebrow." " No good?" " Not for what he did to us." "Yeah, you're right." "That was bullshit." "That was just me getting warmed up." "(coughing)" "Janet:" "Okay, in "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,"" "Lisbeth was raped by this pig, this asshole, so she tied him up and tattooed his chest" ""I'm a rapist pig"" "Or something like that, I don't remember exactly." "(grunting)" "Janet, what are..." "what are you writing?" "Gimme his phone." "I'm gonna take a picture, and send it to every one of his contacts." "Yes, and now all of Charlie's Facebook friends know that he's a "rapping pig."" "( Leslie laughing)" "Raping pig." "Yeah, but you spelled it, "rapping."" "And he robbed us altogether." "(laughing)" "Fuck." "We need to humiliate this piece of shit once and for all, so forever he is punished for what he did to us." "Whoa, Janet, what are you doing?" "I'm gonna piss in his face." " No." " Zoe:" "Don't do it." "That's even too hardcore for me." "Whizz away, girlfriend." "Whizz away." "Claire:" "Janet, don't." "Zoe:" "That's so gross." "No." "I'm gonna defile him the same way he defiled us." "They're tight." "Why are they so tight?" "They don't fit anymore." "Janet:" "He's coming to." "Ask him where your ring is." "Where's my ring?" "Tell me where my ring is." "( man groaning)" "These are size seven." "These are size seven." "SQ?" "Mine's an eight and a half." "These aren't my shoes." "That's not the valet that robbed us." "That's not the valet that robbed us." "Hey!" "What the hell are you doing to our son?" " Oh, God." " ( farting)" " Oh, my..." " ( girls reacting )" "Oh, shit." "Suzie, get the shotgun." "Don't do it, Suzie." "You move one inch, and my friend will put 300,000 volts of electricity into your son's nut sack." "You want grandkids, don't you?" "( muffled screaming )" "Dead battery." "Get the gun." "Goddamn it!" "Leslie:" "Go, go!" "Let's roll." "You went through the whole house and you didn't see his parents there?" "It was dark and I'm hammered." "You pooped on an innocent man's face." "I have a nervous stomach." "I'm not proud of it." "And we electrocuted him and we stole all his money." "We have his address." "We'll reimburse him." "We'll send him a "get well soon" card." "I'm sorry, Claire, we didn't get your ring back." "I think it's time that we ditch the stolen vehicle." "And definitely take more pills." "( drunken laughter)" "Nope." "( music playing in background )" "Which one's our room?" "Fuck, I don't know." "They all look the same." " Whoo!" " Zoe:" "I'm so wasted." "(all laughing)" "Hey, who ordered more girls?" "What the-- what the hell?" "( exhaling )" "Come on in." "What's a bachelor party without a little talent?" "Leslie:" "No, Claire, let's just go." "Claire:" "No." "Where's the bachelor?" "(guys chanting) Mike!" "Mike!" "Mike!" "Mike!" "Mike..." "No." "No." "Who are these chicks?" "You're getting married." "Man:" "Married tomorrow, but single tonight." "(whirring)" "How do you think your fiancé would feel if she knew what you were doing?" "Is that a camera?" " No." " No." "Yeah, it is." "You've got a fucking camera." "You been filming this?" "Leave her alone, you raising dick." " Give it to me." " ( whirring)" "Come here." " Get your fucking hands off her." " Oh, yeah?" " Man:" "Huh?" " ( girls shrieking)" "Get out, get out!" "(whimpering)" "( both panting )" "Oh, God." "We gonna hook up or what?" "Janet:" "What happened to Claire?" "Where's Claire?" "I don't know." "I think she ran off with that guy." "Janet:" "Claire!" " What's up?" " I'm looking for Claire." "Claire!" "Claire." "( both gasping )" "Leslie:" "She's driving off with that guy." "We have to go after her." "Hey, don't cock block." "She's a big girl." "Yeah, but she's drunk and I don't want her doing something that she's going to regret." "Let's go." "I can't believe you had those guys come over." "Why not?" "Because Claire's getting married next Saturday." "She was my wingman." "Okay." "Sorry." "Uh, okay, so I'll just wait here then?" "Janet:" "Hurry, back the car up." "Zoe:" "Let's go." "There." "Make a left." "Janet:" "Come on, we can catch up, go." "There." "There." "Catch up, come on." "( horn honking )" "Leslie:" "Quick, they're getting away." "Go, Janet, go." "Hurry." "Go, go, go, go, go!" "Hurry." "Go!" "Put your foot on it!" "Go." "( crashing )" "( horn blowing )" "Man:" "You okay?" "Are you okay?" "Janet:" "I'm fine." "And there's no real damage here, so it's cool." "Man:" "No real damage?" "Janet:" "You guys all right?" "Yeah." "What happened?" "Man:" "Where you going?" "Hey." "Get back here." "Zoe:" "Shit, there's no sign of them." "Wait, is that them?" "Leslie:" "That's them." "That's them." "Make a right." "Make a right." "They're going in the parking garage." "Here." "Here." "Park." "Park." "Fifth floor." "Okay." "Follow me." "Hurry, Zoe, hurry." "Huff)!" "" "Fifth floor." "There she is." " Claire." " Claire." "Claire." "They're in there." "I can see them." "Leslie:" "Shit." "Don't do it, Claire." "Zoe:" "They turned out the lights." "' ( banging on door)" " Open up." "Man:" "Go away." "Zoe:" "Open up now!" "Man:" "Hey!" "Zoe:" "Claire, you're making a big mistake!" "Goddamn it, I was just about to come." "Oh, man." "Who the hell are you?" "Zoe:" "Uh, housekeeping." "Wrong room." "(all shrieking)" "Leslie:" "Oh, God!" "Which room did she go in?" "I'm not sure." " Leslie:" "Zoe, don't!" " ( alarm ringing)" "What are you doing here?" "You dirty little slut." "What?" "I didn't do anything." "I mean, it's not like he didn't try, but I love Dave." "And I'm getting married." "Shouldn't we be evacuating?" "There's no fire." "There's no fire." " It was Zoe." " Woman:" "You!" "Come back here." "Zoe:" "I think we should go." "Hey, come back here!" "I'm gonna get you." "I'm gonna fucking kill you!" "Hey!" "Get back here!" "Get back here!" "I'm gonna fucking kill you!" "(all shouting )" "( screaming )" "( phone vibrating )" "Janet:" "Claire." "Claire." "Morning." "How was your bachelor party?" "Right?" "Well, that happens." "No, nothing special." "Okay." "Love you, too." "Bye." "(sighing)" "Well, what happened?" "He said that he lost $300 at poker, got shit-faced drunk, had a stripper whip him, then he puked and he blacked out." "That's it?" "And you believe him?" "He doesn't know he butt dialed me." "He could have lied about the stripper." "Janet:" "Where's Leslie?" "Janet:" "Whoo-hoo!" "You did it." "You got laid!" "Walk of shame." "Walk of shame." "My head is killing me." "How many pills did we take?" "Last night was crazy." "Fucking crazy." "(sighing)" "I want you to have this." "Your wedding ring?" "I wasn't wearing it last night." "It was in my suitcase the whole time." "(laughing)" "Leslie, I can't." "My marriage is over, but yours is just beginning." "You're my little sister." "You can't get married without a ring, right?" "Thanks." "Wow, it's actually much bigger than mine, so... (all laughing)" "Zoe, did you record everything last night?" "Like everything everything?" "Like, you know what I mean?" " Let's have a look." " Wait." "No, I don't wanna watch." "The whole thing was like..." "All right, we won't watch it then." "Fuck that, I'm watching it." "( Rewinding noise)" "(fire alarm ringing)" "( shouting )" "Man:" "They're getting away!" "(elevator dinging )" "Leslie:" "Go!" "Go!" " ( All panting) - ( woman screaming in hall )" "(thudding)" "I'm glad we interrupted your orgasm!" "( buzzing )" "Elevator:" "Please evacuate." "Elevators are inoperable during fire alarms." "Please use stairs." " ( dinging )" " Please evacuate." "Elevators are inoperable during fire alarms." "Please use stairs." "Woman:" "Oh, shit." "(all shrieking)" "(all panting, sobbing )" "Now please, will someone tell me why that large woman was attacking us?" " ( glass breaks ) - ( all screaming)" "(all laughing)" "(bubbling)" "(siren wailing)" "( screams )" "( indistinct speaking )" "( screaming )" "( both yelling)" " ( Claire and Leslie laughing) - ( popping and crackling )" "( Claire screams )" "( Claire and Janet yelling )" "( shrieking )" "Man: (over speaker) What can I get you?" "I'll have a double cheeseburger, extra onions, fries, and a Diet Coke." "I don't see a salad, um..." "Do you think-- Could you make me one?" "Man:" "Uh, we don't have salads." "Uh, we just have burgers, fries, and drinks." "AW, please?" "Man:" "Um, they do do a burger without the bun where they wrap the burger in lettuce." "Okay, I'll do that." "And, oh, and uh, dressing on the side." "Man:" "You want, like, a hamburger, cheeseburger, double?" "Um, actually, just do a grilled cheese." "Man:" "Do a grilled cheese, and you want it wrapped in lettuce?" "Yes, please." "Man:" "Okay, so grilled cheese, and you said you didn't want the bread on it but on the side?" "Uh, yes, thank you." "Man:" "Do you want onions on it?" "Uh, no onions." "Man:" "So lettuce, tomatoes only." "You want pickles or anything else?" "Uh, no pickles." "Man:" "Okay, so lettuce, tomato only on that grilled cheese protein style," "And you want the uh, side of bread." "There you go." "And is that just the sandwich, or would you like a drink or French fry with that?" "Uh, no, just the sandwich." " Man:" "Okay." " Okay."