"Smooth enough." "Hey, I got cupcakes." " Oh, I'm not so hungry." " That's okay." "Didn't bake 'em, just bought 'em." "I'll have one!" "Sounds good." "So, uh, listen, I wanna give you guys a heads up." "Um, there's a reporter and a photographer coming on Saturday to do a story about Yonk." "So if you guys can get your stuff out of the living room, that would be great." "You know, actually, we should be out of everywhere by then." "What do you mean?" "Gonna be done by the end of the week." "Wait." "Done?" "Done." "You did everything you had to do?" "I did." "And re-did everything Richie did?" "He did." "So... you're done!" "By Saturday, should be." "Ah." "Well, that's super." "I" " I..." "Not having to wake up to you guys every morning." "Finally gettin' a little peace and quiet around here." "Yep, it's gonna be..." "nice and quiet." "Need a cupcake?" "I think I do." "Are you eating paper?" "Uh-huh!" "So, uh, where's Benjamin these days?" "Playing concerts in Europe." "I always think the word "Europe" sounds gross, like, I drank too much, and now I'm gonna "europe. "" "Y'know, sometimes you can do thinkin' without sayin'." "Oh, I gotta go." "I have a meeting with some magazine people." "Bye, you guys." "Bye, Boo." "See ya." "She's so sweet." "Yeah..." "I'm, uh, breaking up with her today." "Finally!" "Or... no!" "Why, uh, did something happen?" "Boo?" "No." "And she's really great, it's just, she's" "Ditzy?" "Vacuous?" "Insipid?" "Dim!" "No!" "She is not dim." "You don't think she's dim, do you?" "Well, uh, she's not the sharpest tool in the shed." "She's not the sharpest tool in the NERF factory." "Why do you wanna break up with her?" "I don't feel like it could go much further." "And we don't have a real..." "connection, you know?" "I mean..." "Don't you want the person you're with to be like your best friend?" "Or at least know that the moon isn't a planet." "Come on, it's round, it's in the sky." "Cut her some slack!" "So, uh, today's really it, huh?" "Yeah, can you believe it?" "He seems okay with it." "Yeah, as far as I can tell." "I'm okay too!" "Great." "You know, is it gonna be weird not seeing him everyday?" "Sure, but it's not like you're taking away air." "You know, I don't need him to live." "It's just..." "Okay." "Okay." "Hey." "Hey, Nicole." "Oh, hey, come on in." "What are you doing here?" "Just taking Yonk's picture for the paper." "Yeah, Lina set it up." "I'm so glad it worked out." "Hey, you the picture lady?" "Well..." "I am holding the picture machine." "Oh, shoot!" "Nic, would you run and get my Super Bowl ring?" "Yeah, sure." "Actually, they just want your head and shoulders, so the ring won't even be in the shot." "What if I go like this?" "Yeah, don't do that." "Okay, well, tie or no tie?" "I don't care." "Well, if you had to choose." "Okay, look, this is just a freelance gig to pay the bills, all right?" "Last week they had me out in Morgantown taking a picture of a sinkhole." "So please don't take this the wrong way, but to me, you are a talking sinkhole." "Little old firecracker, aren't you?" "Yes, that is what I am." "All right, how do we want me posed?" "With the football or no football, 'cause I" "And we're done." "Wait." "I" " I think I blinked." "Well, pick up a paper tomorrow and find out." "It's me!" "Hey." "You're not gonna believe it!" "Philadelphia Magazine bought my idea for the August cover." "Oh, my God!" "They loved it!" "It's gonna be all these different fruits dressed in little bathing suits, sunning themselves at the beach, but they're all gonna be dried." "Prunes, and raisins, and apricots!" "That's really clever." "I know!" "And it's the cover!" "I'm so happy." "I'm-I'm happy you're happy." "And I owe it all to you." "To me?" "Do you remember a couple of weeks ago, when we made love all the different ways that you wanted?" "Um... think I might." "And afterwards you said, "Oh, my God." "There's nothing that you won't do. "" "And I thought, "He's right!" ""I am capable of anything!" "There is nothing that I won't do!"" "Wow!" "Okay." "So, uh, we should celebrate." "Um, I was thinking we could, um, get some beers and pizza and watch the Sixers game naked." "Hey, it's your special day." "What?" "It's just... you're really great, and I'm really dumb." "Aw!" "I usually hear it the other way." "So, clearly, you are still in very good physical shape." "Hey, I can still bench 280, right, darling?" "He makes me watch." "And I got this crazy cholesterol." "So Eileen here make sure I only eat-what?" "You, uh, you called me Eileen." "No!" "I did?" "Come on." "Eileen was my second wife." "She was a big ol' stripper." "Where was I?" "Uh, your cholesterol was high." "Oh, right, so Eileen here makes sure that I eat" "Did I just do it again?" "You sure did." "Well, that's what you get for being the third wife." "Tell you what." "I promise I'll call the next one Nicole." "So funny..." "Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt, just wanted to let you know that we're going." " Oh, is this for good?" " It's for good." "Rich, Dunc." "Been a real pleasure." "Sure, their names he remembers." "Excuse me a minute." "So, um..." "This is it." "Yeah." "We'll see each other around." "Yeah, totally." "What?" "I just wanted to say..." "I don't know if you realize how much" "Sweetheart, where was that restaurant where that crippled bus boy was so excited to see me that he peed hisself?" "Um, one sec." "I have to..." "All right." "It was Miami." "On our honeymoon." "That's right." "That kid was so excited." "It was the highlight of our trip." "Oh, hey!" "Oh, hi." "Oh..." "How are you doing?" "I know, I look like crap, I didn't sleep at all last night." "Sure." "Ethan told me he was gonna..." "Anyway, I'm really sorry, break-ups suck." "What?" "What?" "What?" "What?" "Ethan's breaking up with me?" "No!" "But you just said!" "W- well because you said that you didn't sleep!" "I didn't sleep because I had too much coffee." "Well, you should've said so." "See, that's not fair!" "I mean, that's not fair to me!" "I" " I can't believe that he wants to break up with me!" "No, no, he-he didn't say he wanted to break up with you, he said that he wanted to wake up with you." "Yeah, it's a loving thing." "That's our Boo." "Do you think that I'm stupid?" "Not anymore." "Hello." "So, uh, what happened with Palmer yesterday?" "Oh, I decided not to do it." "You don't say." "Oh, hang on, someone's at the door." "Is it Palmer?" "Who is it?" "Palmer!" "It's Palmer." "Don't let her in." "Why?" "Because, uh, I, uh, I just ran into her at the store, and I thought you had already broken up with her." "What?" "Check it out." "Front page of the Sports section." "Oh, let me see!" "Yeah." ""20 years ago, Yonk Allen was arguably one of the greatest quarterbacks to grace the gridiron."" "Arguably?" "I don't think so." ""Today, he sits in the living room of his lavish Gladwynne home with his wife Eileen... " "Surrounded by the trophies and mementoes of his former-"" "Go back!" "What?" "Oh, Eileen!" "I guess 'cause I said it so many times." "I can't believe it." "Everyone we know is gonna be reading this." "It's not funny!" "Well, it's a little funny." "How is this funny?" "I can't explain it, you either get it or you don't." "You know who's gonna get a kick out of this?" "Eileen?" "Eileen!" "I gotta go call her." "She is gonna bust a gut." "But why would you tell Kyle you were gonna break up with me if you weren't gonna break up with me?" "Okay, I was!" "But just for, like, a second!" "It was a momentary lapse of sanity." "Like in eighth grade, when I got a perm!" "It made me taller, but not cooler." "But why did you wanna break up?" "I don't know." "I got all in my head and started asking these stupid questions like, "Are we right for each other?"" "And "Is this the one?"" "Wow, I just, you know, I don't think about stuff like that!" "Which is great about you!" "But now that I am thinking about it, I..." "I see what you mean." "So maybe stop thinking about it." "I wish I could, but my brain is too smart for me." "Now I'm all, "Where is this going?" ""Do we have a future?" "What will cars look like then?"" "Maybe... maybe you were right." "Maybe it is time to end this." "Really?" "I mean, we have a lot of fun, but..." "there's gotta be more." "Yeah, okay." "I should go." "Are you sure about this?" "Yeah." "It's funny, I, uh..." "I always figured that if you ever broke up with me it's 'cause you're in love with Kat." "What?" "Me and Kat?" "No." "That's crazy." "That's..." "Okay." "I'm gonna miss you." "Me too." "Uh, Palmer?" "Yeah?" "Uh, when you say me and Kat, where are you getting that?" "I don't know, it just seems like you guys are totally right for each other." "Huh." "Uh, anyway, take care." "You too." "Uh, Palmer?" "Yes?" "Just a quick follow up to that Kat question." "Uh, did she ever say anything to you?" "No, but... it's so obvious." "Really?" "Interesting." "Again, be well." "You too." "There's a chemistry between you two." "It feels like it was meant to be." "What can I tell ya?" "Gotcha." "So listen, uh, I" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "We're good." "Okay." "Come in." "Hey, what's up?" "Just ended it with Palmer." "And she, um, she understood what was going on?" "I'm pretty sure." "Sorry." "How 'bout a hug?" "Pshh, you don't hug." "Hey, I give out, like, two or three a year." "She wasn't for you." "No?" "No." "We'll find you the right one though." "You'll see." "Uh, you know, it's funny you say that 'cause, um, Palmer said the craziest thing." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah, she, uh, she thought that, um" "Violin dude!" "What the hell are you doing here?" "My concert was cancelled." "I had to see you." "Yeah, you did!" "Right, uh..." "You guys do that." "I'm just gonna..." "Okay." "I can't believe you guys are done at Nicole's." "So what's your next job?" "Um, yeah, we haven't actually established whether my employment was just for this one project, or..." "Ah, buddy, what are you talking about?" "You're on the team." "Really?" "I'm on the team." "Uh, never been on a team before." "Shoulda been on Mathletes, but... politics." "Hello." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Don't freak out." "Okay, all right, we're on our way." "That was Nicole, her house flooded." "We gotta go." "Ooh." "Um, sweetie, this is kind of a team thing." "She can come!" "It's cool, you can come." "Oh, my God!" "I got back from taking Yonk to the airport, and it was just pouring out!" "Aw, man, the pipe must have blown." "All right, I gotta grab a ladder." "You guys start emptying those buckets." "Rich, shut off the valve to the hot water line." "Got it!" "Do you know where that is?" "I do not." "Oh, my God, look- come here, come here, come here!" " What is it?" " Look right there!" "It's a rainbow." "Richie found the valve." "That's why he's on the team." "What the hell happened here?" "So I found the valve and I turned it, and apparently, there's a point where you're supposed to stop." "Wait a second." "This doesn't make sense." "The pipe didn't blow, it came loose at the joint." "But I know I tightened every one of these..." "Unless somebody retightened them the wrong way." "I didn't do it!" "I didn't!" "I didn't." "Well, I'm sorry, buddy, but somebody loosened it and I know it wasn't me" "Oh, yeah, right, like I flooded my own house." "Are you crazy?" "Am I?" "I didn't do it!" "I didn't!" "I didn't." "I did." "Thank God, I was sure it was me." "You-you flooded your own house?" "Well, I didn't mean to do all of this." "I just wanted something small." "But then the water came pouring out and I couldn't stop it." "How did you even know the pipe was up there?" "Well, I've been watching you for six months!" "I didn't know it was up there." "I mean, look at all this." "What the hell were you thinking?" "I wasn't thinking!" "I just wanted to bring you back!" "Um, we're just gonna, uh, fix this." "I" " I don't know what to say." "I feel like an idiot." "Just seeing you leave yesterday..." "I didn't know what to do." "Well, look, just so you know, I'm not fixing this." "No?" "No." "I'll find you somebody good, but it is not gonna be me." "I" " I can't do this anymore." "You can't do" "This, this, this!" "Us!" "This back and forth, you know." "It's like, one day something starts to happen, and the next day, it's like nothing happened." "Six months ago, I said that I could handle being around you, and I was wrong." "I've been busting my hump to get this house done just so I could get out of here." "Really?" "Are you kidding me?" "I'm a contractor!" "I mean, who gets a job done on time?" "With-with Richie helping him?" "I love you." "I love you so much that it, like, physically hurts." "But I want all of you." "I want all of you, or-or I want nothing, and, you know, you made it clear which one it is." "What if it's all?" "What?" "You said it's all or nothing." "So what if it's all?" "Are you saying" "I love you too." "And I'm tired of pretending I don't." "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "So what happens now?" "I mean, what about Yonk?" "Well, he comes home tomorrow." "I'll tell him I'm leaving." "So this is really happening?" "I fixed it!"