"(meredith) when something begins, you generally have no idea how it's going to end." "the house you were going to sell becomes your home." "the roommates you were forced to take in become your family." "and the one-night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life." "Hey. how long have you been up?" "all night." "I was trying to figure out" "How to get the tumor out of izzie's brain." "Why are you smiling?" "'cause i figured out how to do it." "Once izzie's in the clear, we're gonna go to the bahamas" "And have our wedding on the beach." "The one  only beach club" "You can actually have drinks during the ceremony. (laughs) (laughs)" "Are you sure you're okay to be up and around?" "Yes. i have good days and bad days." "Plus, i don't want to spend our entire honeymoon" "In a hospital bed." "This is not our honeymoon." "It totally is." "Come on. i want you to meet my friends." "I know all your friends." "You know all my doctor friends." "i'm a patient now." "You're gonna meet my patient friends, and they're gonna love my new husband." "Don't make a big deal." "i'm not gonna make a big deal." "(singsong voice) i'm a bride. (laughs)" "Iz, come on. i'm getting her a real one." "(normal voice) i love this one," "And that makes it a real one." "Okay, everybody, this is alex, my husband." "Husband, this is austin, star, meg, miguel and alison." "Can you turn him around so we can see the butt?" "Yes. alex?" "What, are you kidding me?" "No. oh, a big trauma just came in. that's..." "That's quality booty." "right?" "Congratulations, izzie." "thank you. (laughs)" "(laughs)" "(laughs)" "So, uh..." "I had a good session with my shrink this morning." "Did you talk to her about your mom?" "(elevator bell dings)" "I mean, have you seen your mom yet?" "'cause she lives, like, you know, a few miles away," "And she thinks you're still in iraq." "yeah, i--i'm planning to see her." "When?" "Dr. hunt..." "i'm not on trauma today?" "Follow me, o'malley." "Lieutenant lowell, i'm dr. hunt." "We spoke on the phone." "major hunt, it's good to finally meet you." "My c.o. has told me a lot about you." "Ah, you shouldn't believe anything steve mason tells you." "This is dr. o'malley, and you've already met dr. torres." "I'm looking at charlie's post-op scans, but i'm not finding" "Anything functionally wrong with the leg." "except that i can't walk or run or move really" "Without serious pain." "I've tried everything-- medications, physical therapy." "Nothing works." "Which could indicate nerve damage." "Or a chronic pain syndrome." "and we can definitely look into" "Pain management procedures," "But surgically, i'm afraid, uh, there's nothing i can do." "Actually, there is." "You could cut it off." "You can cut it off" "And replace it with a prosthetic leg" "So i can get back to iraq where i'm needed." "Captioning provided by abc studios, abc, inc." "And brought to you by ford." "drive one." "(woman speaking indistinctly over p.a.)" "(sighs) did you know that's why he was here?" "No, but is it such an unreasonable request?" "Unreasonable?" "cutting off a viable limb is dismemberment." "That kid made lieutenant at 19." "He was planning on spending the rest of his life" "In the military." "they gonna take him back with one leg?" "There have been several lower-leg amputees" "Who've returned to active duty with prosthetics." "voluntary amputees?" "Maybe. i don't know." "Are you saying i have to turn this kid away?" "His c.o. sent him here because he trusts me." "We could get another set of scans" "And then try an epidural for the pain." "dr. torres?" "Fine. do an m.r.i. and an epidural." "I'll take a look at the scans," "But if the leg is healthy, i'm not cutting it off." "Dr. bailey, are you busy today?" "that depends." "You got any more dying children you want me to become" "Overly attached to before they expire?" "No. i have an 8-year-old neuroblastoma patient," "And he's gonna live." "i can feel it in my bones." "So scrub in with me and see the joy." "um, dr. bailey." "May i borrow you?" "Who is santa claus?" "An old white man who lives at the north pole" "And enters people's homes inappropriately." "No." "i'm santa claus." "(beeping and whirring)" "(electronic male voice) all systems ready." "Oh, no, you did not!" "Oh, yes, i did." "The da vinci s.i. h.d. surgical system." "Tell me you didn't wait" "Till i had all but left the general surgery program" "To buy us a da vinci!" "Care to take it out for a spin?" "Santa." "(beep)" "(laughs)" "Hey, i was thinking, you know," "With, uh, derek and meredith getting married, they, uh," "Probably don't want us hanging out in the attic much longer." "So i was thinking i'd start looking for a condo." "Perfect," "And then you'd finally have a place of your own." "Actually, i was, you know, thinking maybe you'd, uh," "You'd come with me." "absolutely. no, i-i-- i would love to see it." "I'm so happy for you." "(derek clears throat)" "How much of that did you hear?" "You mean the part where you asked her to move in with you," "Or the part where she shot you down?" "mm." "I was here for both." "By the way, it's just way too early" "For you to be moving in with lexie." "you don't have to do everything i do." "this is not about you." "I have my own future to think about. life is short." "Look at what's going on with stevens." "don't worry about stevens." "i got a plan." "You want to remove her hippocampus?" "One of them. it's a common procedure for seizure patients." "Removing her hippocampus" "Could compromise her memory, her speech." "She wouldn't be able to practice medicine anymore." "i have performed this surgery hundreds of times." "On cancer patients?" "no, but it's" "If you do the surgery, i could lose my memory?" "It's unlikely, but it's possible." "and if you don't do the surgery?" "(swender) we could shrink the tumor with i.l.-2. if the tumor doesn't kill me first." "Why take the chance?" "have you even done a wada test" "To see how her memory would be affected?" "putting her brain to sleep and asking her to remember" "A bunch of flash cards is not an accurate assessment" "Of the post-surgical outcome." "but it would tell us whether or not" "She could function afterwards," "And as dr. stevens' primary physician-- fine, i'll do it." "it's unnecessary" "The surgery is unnecessary." "the tumor's already symptomatic." "she's having hallucinations." "(waves crashing)" "(birds calling)" "That's a nice ring." "Alex outdid himself." "We're gonna have beautiful kids," "Don't you think?" "Is four too many?" "Four is perfect." "Ideally, it would be two boys and two girls" "One of which would definitely be a tomboy." "And i was thinking" "I should have them pretty close together," "Though that might be stupid." "Why wait?" "exactly." "That way," "If i'm not able to practice medicine anymore..." "You won't want to." "You don't think?" "Do you?" "I'm asking you." "Why do you keep agreeing with everything i say?" "Because i am you." "i'm your tumor." "You're..." "talking to yourself." "Right." "At least until you have surgery, if you have surgery." "Are you gonna have surgery?" "(waves crashing)" "(waves continue crashing)" "If derek cuts the tumor out, i could lose my memory," "And if he doesn't, i could die." "I don't know what to do." "alex, tell me what to do." "Iz, i can't tell you what to do." "of course you can." "You're my husband." "that's what husbands do." "They stomp around telling their wives what to do." "It's your job." "no, my job is to support whatever you want to do." "I don't know what i want to do." "That's why i'm asking you." "Okay, i have an idea." "Let's put it to a vote." "all in favor of the surgery..." "No, we're not voting." "no one's--no one's voting." "Opposed?" "I'm opposed..." "(elevator bell dings)" "To voting." "Just decide for me." "please." "You don't have to know right now. think about it." "I don't have time." "Captain mason told me that you saved his life" "At least four times in the field." "yeah, and a couple of times in the canteen," "But don't tell mason i told you that." "So... you think i'll get to go back?" "Are you sure you want to?" "I mean, why do you want to cut off your leg" "Just to go back to the war?" "Don't you have family?" "You know what it's like to have family who don't know you," "Who don't get you, maybe even don't like you?" "Yeah, actually, uh, i have brothers." "Me, too." "So there's that family," "The guys i grew up with," "And we've got nothing in common," "And then there's my guys in iraq" "My real family" "Whatever we got into, we were in it together." "But here, i'm alone." "i'm nobody." "And i've tried." "You know, i've tried fitting in here." "I've tried being a regular person." "I've tried getting a job, but there aren't any." "There are a lot of things that i wanted to be in my life," "A lot of things i wanted to do," "But none of them's here." "This is alison clark. she was referred to me two years ago." "Mets in her brain, liver, kidney?" "Mm-hmm. she ended up having five surgeries" "And extensive chemo, which worked," "But then..." "Oh, yeah, the mets came back." "Mm-hmm." "That's when i started her i.l.-2 therapy." "And now..." "After three treatments in as many months..." "The mets are gone?" "The mets are gone." "Dr. stevens should be patient." "She should give her therapies a chance." "As surgeons, we like to cut," "But... (sighs)" "Sometimes there's a better way." "Let me retract that small bowel" "So you'll have better visualization." "You know what, chief?" "Thanks to leo, you don't have to." "leo?" "Leonardo... (laughs) da vinci." "Here, here, watch this." "See?" "540 degrees of wristed movement." "Can't do that with a laparoscope." "Or in open surgery." "Feels pretty good, doesn't it?" "(imitating lightsaber sound effects)" "Dr. bailey," "Are you making lightsaber noises?" "Uh, not anymore, sir." "(clears throat)" "You know, dr. chalikonda at cleveland clinic" "Is doing single-incision gall bladder removal" "Through the belly button." "We could try that on the next one..." "If you're up to it." "Don't tease me, sir." "Oh, i'm not." "Why should dr. chalikonda have all the fun?" "(giggles)" "(imitates lightsaber sound effects)" "(miranda giggles)" "It's impressive, but it took two years to get these results." "Yeah, but these two scans were taken three months apart." "But izzie may not have three months." "That tumor could start bleeding in three days or three seconds." "And since when are you not about cutting?" "Since it may not be in the best interest of our patient." "And derek's not acting in izzie's best interest?" "They're ready for us in radiology." "(sighs)" "(monitor beeps)" "Okay, iz," "I am going to show you a series" "A series of images that you want me to try to remember" "Once derek puts the right side of my brain to sleep." "mm-hmm." "Hit me." "show me what you got." "okay." "Is that a schnauzer or a scottie?" "How specific do i need to be?" "dog's fine." "It's either a 727 or a 747." "Plane." "Ooh, a 2-story victorian mansion." "We would also accept the word "house."" "Schnauzer, 747, mansion." "schnauzer, 747, mansion." "Or dog, plane, house." "I'm gonna put the right hemisphere of your brain" "To sleep now, okay?" "Dog, plane, house." "dog, plane, house." "Dog, plane, house." "Dog, plane, house." "dog, plane, house." "Dog, plane, house." "Dog, plane, house." "(monitor beeps)" "Okay, now we just wait for the brain activity" "In that area to stop." "Dog, plane, house." "dog, plane..." "H... (monitor beeps)" "Okay, iz. can you tell me what you saw?" "Show her the cards." "Um..." "what's this?" "Dog." "Can you say dog?" "(mutters)" "(mutters)" "What's my name?" "just stick to the cards, meredith." "M..." "Meredith." "You know my name." "you can say my name." "M... (mutters)" "This is what i was afraid of." "Okay, who's alex?" "Iz, okay, you don't have to speak." "Just nod your head for me if you know who alex karev is." "The test impaired your memory to such a degree that" "I have to strongly recommend you don't have the surgery." "Izzie, the test was the worst-case scenario." "The result has nothing to do with the surgery." "we don't know that." "What i do know is that not operating" "Is every bit as risky as the surgery itself," "If not more, but it's up to you." "What do you think?" "I think he's talking to you, not me." "I'll leave you two alone to discuss this." "Uh, i'll come with you." "i have a couple of questions." "wait, alex." "Just think about what you want to do for a second, okay?" "I'll be right back." "You are not having this surgery." "I need you to not talk medicine to me, okay?" "Talk to me like i'm your friend," "Like i'm the guy whose cereal you eat in the morning," "And tell me what to do." "karev" "Please." "karev, i can't tell you what to do." "What if it was meredith?" "What would you do if you had to choose" "Between spending a few more months with meredith" "Knowing she was gonna die" "Watching her hurt, watching her sick" "Or spending the rest of your life" "With someone who looked like meredith" "But wasn't her anymore?" "She's the one good thing that ever happened to me," "The one good thing." "So i need to know what to do." "I need you to tell me-- what if it was meredith?" "I would ask her to have the surgery." "(meredith) you couldn't remember anything." "You didn't know my name." "You didn't know who derek was." "you didn't know who alex was." "You couldn't even remember how to speak." "How come i don't remember any of this?" "Because the tumor is sitting right in the middle" "Of everything that makes you you." "I was standing there talking to you" "Exactly like i am now," "Only you weren't there." "You weren't you." "you were gone." "So what do i do?" "Well, swender has a patient" "Female, 22 years old, metastatic melanoma." "Alison clark?" "after three months of the i.l.-2," "Her mets were gone-- all of them." "You're not having this surgery." "Don't do it." "that's my vote." "Don't have the surgery." "I didn't." "i freakin' hate surgery." "I'm hallucinating, alison." "I have really long conversations" "With dead people" "And i see things that aren't..." "Like right now, for example," "I'm pretty certain there aren't birds flying over your head" "Because this is a hospital and that would be weird," "But that's what i'm seeing." "I have a brain tumor." "Am i really not gonna let them cut it out?" "I didn't let them cut out mine." "It's like..." "Okay, one minute, i'm this college kid," "Rowing crew and being an idiot" "And forgetting my sunscreen and thinking it doesn't matter" "Because i'm me," "And life has worked out pretty well for me." "And then the next minute," "They're cutting into my body every other week." "I had 15 surgeries." "And then i said, enough." "Forget it." "I'll row crew in heaven or whatever." "And then the i.l.-2 worked." "It worked." "I come here every three weeks," "I get my medicine," "And... i don't have a brain tumor anymore." "Look, charlie, if we admit you," "If we do what you're asking us to do," "The pain in your leg..." "There's no way of knowing if amputation will cure it." "but it might." "Yes, it might." "and once i get the prosthetic, then" "Uh, it will be months before i can even begin" "Fitting you with a prosthetic," "Which won't feel anything like a new leg, by the way." "It will feel like 5 pounds of metal that hurts and pinches." "And what if the army says no?" "no, no" "What if they don't take you back?" "they will. chances are that" "You really want to take that chance, charlie?" "You're asking me to remove one of your limbs." "yeah, you think i don't know that?" "You think i want to cut my leg off?" "of course not." "Am i sure about this?" "no." "The only thing i'm sure about is that i am in hell right now." "that i am sure of." "i've lost everything" "Everything i've worked for, everything that i care about" "And i've traded it in for" "A 6-times-a-day pain-pill habit that doesn't even work." "So don't waste both our times by trying to scare me," "Because you do not scare me, dr. torres." "After everything i've been through," "Nothing scares me." "So are we gonna do this or not?" "Dr. robbins," "Dr. bailey just performed seattle grace's" "First single-incision gall bladder removal." "Oh, wow. that's cool." "Through the patient's belly button." "and now it's kinda creepy." "No, no." "you shoulda seen it." "No scars, no bleeding, and about half the time" "It would've taken laparoscopically." "You want to do one after lunch?" "i've got another coli." "y-you don't mind?" "Oh, well, also," "I guess i'm on my own for this afternoon." "My neuroblastoma?" "No, no, no, no." "don't worry. you don't have to." "You'll have the rest of your life to do neuroblastomas." "Well, then i'll see you after lunch, sir." "okay." "Chief." "Yes, dr. robbins." "Chief..." "Did you want to tell me something?" "I am going to cry, and i just want you to know" "That i know that it's going to happen, and i just want you to ignore it." "And i'm not crying because i'm upset." "It's just what happens when i get mad" "At people of authority." "you're mad at me?" "(crying) i am mad at you." "And i'm crying because you're the boss, my boss," "Which brings up my issues of authority and my dad," "Who you kind of remind me of." "Not that you're old, but you command respect." "People respect you." "i mean, i know i do," "And i know bailey does, which is why i'm mad." "Because it's wrong, sir. it's wrong and mean to use a robot" "To lure dr. bailey back into general surgery 'cause i don't have a robot." "All i have are little kids," "And... they're not as fun as a robot." "And they're not shiny and--and new and silver" "And they don't have things" "Coming out of their belly buttons," "But... i will fight you, and i will win... sir." "You think you can fight me and win?" "Yes." "(chuckles)" "Good luck." "Because i have something that you don't have." "I have joy..." "Sir." "(woman speaking indistinctly over p.a.)" "(speaks indistinctly)" "What's going on?" "Oh, we're just going over, uh, izzie's i.l.-2 schedule." "Oh, for after the surgery?" "I decided not to have the surgery." "What?" "Uh, maybe we should come back..." "Yeah." "dr. yang." "Sure." "You're having the surgery." "what?" "Shepherd said this is your last shot." "but i dec" "Look, i am your husband," "And i say that you are having the surgery." "what happened to, "this is your decision"?" "That was when i thought you were gonna make the right one." "But you chose wrong," "So now you don't get to make this decision on your own," "Because you married me." "It's not just your life at stake anymore." "It's my life, too, my life with you." "So you can tell swender whatever you want," "But i'm telling shepherd and i'm telling you," "You're having the surgery." "(door slams)" "Thx to YYeTs.net for the transcript." "She may be your friend," "But that doesn't give you the right to go in and" "And talk her out of a surgery you know nothing about." "You're not her doctor." "you're swender's resident." "What you did is not only inappropriate..." "(meredith) derek" "It is unprofessional." "you crossed the line, cristina." "no, she didn't. i did." "I'm the one who convinced izzie not to have the surgery." "I'm the one you should be yelling at right now." "Well, i'm gonna go now." "Unless you want to apologize to" "Okay." "(door closes)" "My mother disappeared right in front of me." "Everything she had, everything she was" "Her dignity, her memory." "In the end, she wasn't even my mother anymore." "Izzie is not your mother." "She doesn't have an untreatable brain condition." "She has a tumor, and it can be treated." "Don't make this personal, meredith." "i wasn't." "You went to izzie as her friend" "And you made up her mind for her." "So now as my resident, you go back there and change it," "Because this tumor will kill her." "(woman speaking indistinctly over p.a.)" "Quick consult, dr. yang." "What are you doing?" "I've realized," "The reason i haven't told my mother i'm back" "Is because part of me is still over there." "I made a commitment to the army that i wasn't able to fulfill." "If my unit hadn't been destroyed," "I would still be there." "So no wonder i can't sleep at night" "Or--or look my mother in the eye." "No wonder you and i-- we can't move forward." "My work there isn't done." "Until it is, i have no business being here." "So... i've decided to go back." "I have to go." "Cristina, come on." "What?" "i'm sorry." "what am i supposed to say?" "I could use your support." "You don't have it." "Dr. torres." "Dr. o'malley." "I just wanted to apologize for..." "It's okay, charlie." "You don't have to do that." "no, i do, 'cause you were both just trying to do your job in there," "And your job is to put people back together," "Not take them apart, and i get that." "And i know it doesn't make sense to you" "That i would want to go back to a place" "Where people get hurt and die, but..." "We're there because we're trying to help people," "Save people, same as you." "It's my job, who i am, it's..." "If something happened," "And suddenly you couldn't be a doctor anymore," "If someone told you you couldn't do it anymore," "Wouldn't you want to do everything you could possibly do" "To be a doctor again?" "(izzie) we haven't even been married 24 hours yet," "And we've already had our first fight." "That's a good sign." "Fighting leads to good makeup sex." "Are you watching birds fly around my head again?" "Am i, like, totally snow white right now?" "I just don't want to hurt him." "He'll come around." "It might take a while, but once that tumor disappears," "Once you're back at work, cutting open other people," "He'll come around." "Is it hummingbirds at least?" "I really like hummingbirds." "(meredith) we need to go talk to izzie." "No, we are not talking izzie into having surgery" "Because your future husband is mad at you." "But he has a right to be mad" "Because we didn't talk izzie out of the surgery" "As her doctors, we did it as her friends." "No, our job as doctors is to present the options," "Answer questions" "And let the patient decide their course of treatment." "That is what we did." "right." "Except i may have presented her options as," ""you're having the surgery over my dead body."" "(elevator bell dings)" "He has a right to be mad." "(pager beeps)" "Oh, crap." "Who is it?" "(monitor beeping erratically)" "Izzie?" "what the-- what happened?" "I don't know." "where's swender?" "Izzie, let me take over." "izzie, come sit down." "(monitor beeping rhythmically)" "The vessels and nerves are separated." "Skin flap is done." "Remind me again why i'm doing this." "Someone please remind me again." "You don't know what's gonna happen to this kid," "How many fights he could win, how many lives he could save." "If you don't do this," "He's never gonna get the chance." "We're not doing harm." "we're not hurting him." "We are saving him." "We're doing what he wants." "It's what he wants." "(buzzes)" "(saw buzzing)" "(monitor beeping erratically)" "B.p.'s still dropping." "We need more blood." "we need to move faster." "Okay, i'm done." "i'm at the end." "I didn't see any bowel perforation." "It's there somewhere." "run it again." "dr. swender" "Run it again." "Yes, ma'am." "So much for i.l.-2." "You think this is my fault?" "You think i did this to her?" "No, ma'am." "There is no cure for cancer, dr. yang." "There's only us, the two of us, right here, right now," "Fighting this thing as aggressively as we know how." "And sometimes that means" "Pumping toxins into the patient to kill the cancer," "And yes, sometimes, not very often, but sometimes," "Those toxins kill the patient as well." "But alison had three months to live" "When she first came to see me," "And i have managed to keep her alive for two years." "So i am not about to give up on her" "Or the i.l.-2 anytime soon," "And neither are you." "(woman speaking indistinctly over p.a.)" "I wasn't asking you to come see the condo." "I was asking you to move in with me..." "If that's what you want." "I do." "You do?" "Yeah. not right away." "No, of course not." "in, like, a year." "ten years." "I'm sorry, what now?" "oh, um, well, because i'll" "I'll still be a resident for, like, six more years," "And--and then i'd want to get my practice up and running." "So... how about seven?" "How about five years?" "i'll still be a resident." "So?" "stevens and karev are residents." "Meredith's a resident, bailey's a resident" "All married or soon to be," "And happily... or whatever." "I'm sorry." "are you asking me... (chuckles) to--to-- to marry you?" "no." "(laughs)" "Why?" "would you?" "Um, should we be having this conversation?" "no, probably not." "No, i-i--that's... okay." "Impressive work today, dr. bailey." "(laughs) thank you, sir." "it was fun." "Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" "(pen clicks)" "Sounds like you guys had a good day." "Oh!" "how did the, uh, neuroblastoma kid do?" "Oh, he was awesome." "the surgery was totally easy," "And he's gonna make a full recovery." "good." "That's kind of why i wanted you there." "'cause the kids you can save" "Almost make up for the ones you can't." "Anyways, i'm gonna go monitor him post-op." "And then i'm gonna tell his family the good news." "You should stop by, come see the joy." "okay." "(swender) we had to resect part of her bowel." "Unfortunately, we weren't able to finish the surgery" "Because she was too unstable." "Right now she's on a ventilator" "Because she can't breathe on her own." "(breathe catches)" "But, uh, you're gonna be able to finish the surgery, right?" "Yes, if she stabilizes." "And then she'll be able to breathe on her own again?" "Your daughter's heart stopped during surgery," "Which means her brain wasn't getting oxygen." "So it's unlikely" "She'll be able to come off the ventilator." "(woman sobbing) oh, god. oh, no." "(sobbing continues)" "(crying continues)" "(waves crashing)" "(george) izzie." "izzie." "Izzie." "You paged me." "are you okay?" "No. i don't know what to do." "I don't know if i should have the surgery." "I think i'm gonna die either way." "You gotta tell me what to do." "you know what to do." "No, i don't." "I don't." "Yes, you do." "You're just scared to do it." "This back and forth is just fear." "But you've already made the decision." "You already made it." "You made it the second you decided to fight this thing." "Just look..." "where you started." "Look where you are now." "I mean, now you're this..." "Incredible surgeon..." "And teacher." "You're a doer, remember?" "(chuckles)" "You know exactly what you have to do." "(knock on door)" "Come in." "You can do it." "You can cut into my brain again." "Okay." "You can do it, but..." "I don't want to end up a vegetable." "Izzie, you won't." "no, just listen." "I want the surgery, right now," "But if something goes wrong," "I don't want to end up on a ventilator." "So i'm signing a d.n.r." "Please." "alex" "Look, you went crazy." "When denny signed that d.n.r., you went crazy." "Is that what you want?" "you want me cutting l-vads?" "No, i-- you want to wreck my career?" "'cause i will." "I will freakin' cut l-vads before i let you" "Just st--just wait, stop." "You don't get to quit." "you don't get to quit on me." "Please... tear it up." "The d.n.r.--tear it up." "Where your eyes are supposed to be right now," "I see white sandy beaches..." "And there's an ocean behind your head," "And there are ghosts wandering in and out." "I can't live like this." "And i can't live... (exhales)" "If something goes wrong in that surgery," "I don't want any extraordinary measures taken" "To keep me alive." "It's not what i want." "I went crazy when denny signed the d.n.r." "Because i didn't understand." "I didn't understand, but now i do." "And i need you to understand." "I don't want you to go crazy." "I want you to have a brilliant career," "And i hope that i get to be here for that," "But if i can't, i just want to go to the other side." "I don't know what's there, but it's gotta be better" "Than hospital beds and tubes down my throat," "So please..." "Please don't cut l-vads." "Just..." "If it comes down to it," "Just let me go." "And right now, kiss me." "Please, please just kiss me, and close your eyes," "Because the beach is so distracting." "(sighs)" "(sniffles)" "(sniffles)" "I always thought it would be me." "I'd get alzheimer's like my mother" "And forget everyone." "Let's go to city hall tomorrow." "I don't want to spend another day" "Not being married to you." "Okay." "It doesn't matter how good you are" "Or how hard you work." "You can do all the research," "You can master all the latest techniques," "Um, you can be the best," "You can be the best surgeon in the world..." "But your patients are still gonna die." "'cause the next day or the next... month" "Or next year, you know, they're just gonna... (blows air) get hit by a car" "And there's nothing you can do about it." "I don't want you to die." "You okay?" "I cut off a healthy leg." "I just cut it off." "It was for the patient's own good," "But still, i feel like a butcher." "My miracle case is on life support." "I thought i had one..." "One miracle." "(sighs)" "I hate this job sometimes." "I don't know why we do this." "Come on. come with me." "Okay, what are we doing here?" "We came to see that." "What?" "The joy." "It comes around rarely," "So rarely we forget it can happen." "But that..." "That's why we do this" "The joy." "we spend our whole lives worrying about the future... planning for the future, trying to predict the future..." "Will you come with me?" "as if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow." "but the future is always changing." "Got one more." "He's a doctor. he says he needs to do it today." "Come in." "the future is the home of our deepest fears..." "Owen?" "Hi, mom." "I'm home." "and our wildest hopes." "but one thing is certain... when it finally reveals itself..." "Congratulations, doctor." "Welcome to the army." "the future..." "Thank you." "is never the way we imagined it." "(monitor beeping rhythmically)" "(meredith) doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future... planning it... working toward it." "(beeping continues) but at some point, you start to realize, your life is happening now..." "Any changes overnight?" "No." "not after med school, not after residency, right now." "this is it. it's here." "blink and you'll miss it." "(pager beeps)" "Oh, it's the chief. somebody better make a coffee run." "You all look like hell." "(groans) i gotta be in surgery in ten minutes." "Um, mer, will you let me know?" "Yeah." "We should go, too." "it's probably gonna be a while." "Shepherd said she'd wake up in the morning." "What did he tell you?" "was that all crap?" "What did he say?" "He said it may be a while." "She's gonna wake up." "(speaking inaudibly)" "Stevens still isn't awake." "And i'm having something of a day even aside from that." "So... don't take my face personally." "It's just my face today." "did you tell her?" "Uh, you should tell her," "And don't take her face personally." "okay, well..." "On behalf of the department of pediatric surgery," "I'd like to welcome you to the fellowship program." "You're in!" "we're gonna get you a pair of wheelie sneaks." "(richard) congratulations." "All right." "I know i didn't support you during this process." "In any event, i am behind you now." "I'm trying to be a big person here." "How about you meet me halfway?" "(sighs)" "(whispering) wake up. wake up." "Wake up. wake up." "Wake up. wake up." "I have a headache." "(normal voice) you're up?" "You're up and you're talking." "You talked, right?" "Talk!" "Ow. i said i have a headache. stop yelling." "Page shepherd!" "Ow." "i'm sorry." "Captioned by closed captioning services, inc." "Hey, what's with hugging o'malley?" "I slept, cristina." "Last night, i slept for the first time in... (exhales deeply) i slept." "And, uh, i don't know," "Hugging o'malley because you slept?" "No, i hugged o'malley 'cause he's got great news," "Which i'll let him tell you, but, yeah, i... i guess," "Yeah, maybe i hugged him because i slept." "And that's because of you," "Because you came with me to see my mom," "And then i slept, and i slept without nightmares." "That's not a small thing, cristina." "(whispers) that... that is everything." "(normal voice) i can be a better man." "I can be a better man for you, and if..." "I hope, you know, if you'll let me," "I can be a better man with you." "No, don't say anything." "Just... just think about it, okay?" "okay?" "What" "Mm." "Dr. bailey, i need to tell you something." "oh, not now, o'malley." "I know. it'll be quick 'cause i gotta" "Get to the o.r. to scrub in with the chief." "Now i think you're gonna be mad at first," "But i'm about to do something important," "And i'm very sure about this decision," "And i-i think eventually, you're gonna be proud." "But, you know, before that," "You're probably gonna be like... (imitates miranda) "what did you do?" "!"" "(normal voice) i'm..." "i don't mean to imitate you-- you call that quick?" "I joined the army to be a trauma surgeon." "I report for duty tomorrow." "You did what?" "!" "Yeah, that's where i thought we'd start." "You know, something's going on with george." "what?" "Owen hugged him." "they were happy." "Well, we don't hug when we're happy." "Are you better?" "What?" "You know, with your therapy." "uh, whatever." "You said you got well." "well, are you... better?" "Or are you just, you know, fake better?" "what do you mean?" "I'm asking you if people, you know..." "I mean, are you actually different?" "I mean, do you feel different?" "I'm getting married today." "mm-hmm. city hall." "No muss, no fuss." "just quick and dirty." "Well, uh..." "do you want me to come?" "No, no." "just letting you know." "Oh, no, wait. uh, uh..." "Okay, this is my grocery list." "It's old." "uh, this--this is new." "Um, this is my favorite pen, so i want it back. borrowed." "And all of it's blue, so you're covered." "Now see, if we were george and owen," "We would hug right now." "(siren wailing)" "Dude." "Unidentified male, dragged by a bus." "He's clamped down, so we couldn't intubate." "Didn't they stop when they hit him?" "bus driver didn't know he was there" "Until he got halfway down the block." "oh, is he gonna be okay?" "Okay, i'll take over c.p.r." "(owen) push 20 etomidate and 100 of sux." "(monitor beeping erratically)" "He saved my life." "The bus was gonna hit me." "he threw me out of the way." "Grey, get her out of here." "it was supposed to be me under the bus. he's all alone." "They don't even know who he is. please." "all right, stand over there and just don't move." "He's back." "(callie) okay, let's get a trauma series," "Trauma labs and o-neg blood in here." "Severe avulsion injury to the left forearm." "Whoa." "okay, his skull is bashed in." "Page shepherd." "and sloan." "Start antibiotics and start cleaning out those wounds." "(vomits)" "(callie) uh..." "(groans)" "Now can you get her out of here?" "Did you get the whole thing?" "Did you get the whole tumor out?" "Just let me finish my exam." "Can you tell me your name?" "My name is isobel stevens." "it's 2009." "And i'm in the... neuro i.c.u. at seattle grace hospital." "Did you get the damn thing out?" "got the whole damn thing." "You got it?" "yeah." "Oh, god. you got the whole thing." "And i can talk and i know my name" "And i'm not a turnip." "nope." "No offense." "oh, no." "You are a great surgeon, but i really thought" "I was gonna be a turnip." "This is so unbelievably great." "Your, uh, kidneys are a little sluggish," "So we're just gonna keep an eye on your electrolytes" "For a few hours." "Your post-op crit was-- was fine." "okay, good. good." "Good." "How did the surgery go?" "Did you get the brain tumor?" "did you get it out?" "Iz, you just asked him that." "We just talked about it." "No, no, it's okay. she's gonna be foggy for a while." "The tumor's out." "There was a little bleeding during the post" "You got it?" "yeah." "All of it?" "mm-hmm." "That's amazing." "Derek shepherd, you... are a hero." "And i know that that's derek shepherd." "And you're alex." "and you should kiss me." "Alex..." "I don't have a brain tumor." "I'm tumor-free." "(alex) yes, you are." "What's wrong?" "why do you look weird?" "No, nothing. nothing." "Uh, your kidneys are a little slow." "We're just gonna watch them." "Okay. so you'll just recheck my electrolytes in an hour?" "mm-hmm." "Okay." "How did the surgery go?" "Did you get the tumor?" "We did." "The tumor's gone." "There was a little bit of bleeding," "And we took care of that." "You got it?" "mm-hmm." "Oh, my god." "And i can talk, and you didn't kill me." "What's wrong with you people?" "we should be celebrating." "(cristina) we will." "She's like the woman" "Who couldn't remember her husband was dead." "We had to keep telling her every five minutes." "could be a perfectly normal post-operative haze." "Or the bleeding during the procedure" "Blitzed her short-term retention." "Did you screw up her brain?" "karev" "(pager beeps) i'll be back." "try and stay calm." "Freaking her out is not gonna help." "(sighs)" "Wake up." "(siren wailing) whoa." "Man versus bus." "the bus won." "Check out the left arm." "(monitor beeping erratically) he's crashing again!" "What do we got?" "we got roadkill." "You mind?" "he stepped out in front of a moving bus" "So he could pull a woman out of the way. he's a hero." "(callie) can you fix the arm?" "Fingers are already blue." "if it's gonna happen," "It's gotta be in the next few hours." "pupil's blown. stop c.p.r." "Okay, give me a cranial drill, please." "Grey, want to practice your, uh, burr holes?" "(razor buzzes)" "(derek) stabilize his neck, please, nurse." "(monitor continues beeping erratically)" "Okay, hand her the drill." "Okay, go in slowly." "when you feel it grab, stop, 'cause otherwise you're gonna be hitting the brain." "(drill whirring) okay, let's go. quickly." "(beeping continues)" "(whirring continues)" "(drill tone deepens) right there!" "(owen) pull back, pull back!" "that's it." "(mark) that's enough!" "(beeping slows and returns to normal rhythm)" "Nice work, dr. grey." "I'm gonna go get some bacitracin for that face." "All right. let's get his head rotated. easy." "Watch--watch his neck." "welcome back, sir. you had us worried there for a minute." "(indistinct conversations)" "You think he's gonna make it?" "I hope so." "He really has to make it." "Oh." "Dr. sloan." "There's gonna be too much tension." "Start over and do a layered closure." "Um, c--uh, c-can i ask a question about that?" "Okay. you brought up moving in together" "And marriage, and i put it off." "And now you're embarrassed" "And you won't make eye contact with me because" "You feel that i have all the power in the relationship," "But i don't want all the power in the relationship." "I--i'm happy to share it." "can we just skip this part?" "Get some 4-0 vicryl so you can redo your patient's sutures." "(sighs)" "(glove snaps)" "I'll totally pretend i didn't hear any of that." "Women do this to me." "i don't do this." ""let's get a house together." sucks being the girl, huh?" "I'm not the girl." "(glove snaps)" "What do girls do?" "Well, uh, we start with the cold shoulder," "So you're right on track." "And we go to our girlfriends and we bitch," "And our girlfriends say, "you want to build a future," ""build it yourself." ""you don't need a man to give you that." ""so you want to buy a house?" "Buy a house."" "Huh." "You're good at this." "(chuckles) i ought to help someone get a love life." "I suck at my own." "He jumped in front of a bus..." "for me." "(indistinct conversations)" "What did you do to o'malley?" "excuse me?" "Uh, somebody else around here likely to convince someone" "To join the army and be a trauma surgeon in iraq?" "(callie) what?" "!" "the army?" "!" "What?" "(monitor beeping erratically)" "(meredith) v-fib." "charge the paddles to 360." "Just call who you have to call and undo this." "dr. bailey, little busy here." "Clear." "george?" "george o'malley?" "It wasn't my idea." "no change." "Charge again." "clear." "I did what i could to give him a decent education in trauma." "I didn't know he was gonna go and enlist." "He keeps coding." "here's why-- open-book pelvic fracture." "There's too much bleeding." "We take him to an o.r. now, he'll die on the table." "He needs to go to angio if we're gonna stop" "The pelvic arterial bleeding." "sinus tach." "we have a rhythm." "It's barely there, but it's there." "(owen) let's stabilize the pelvis." "I know what goes on in this hospital." "I know you're messed up from that war," "And not in a small way." "get him out of it." "Page me if you need me." "i've got other patients." "(monitor beeping rhythmically)" "How'd you piss off all the women?" "(exhales deeply) um, let's get our guy to angio." "Angio?" "he's barely got a pulse." "it's now or never if we want him to live. let's move." "Sir, i know it's tough," "But i'd personally be very grateful" "If you'd try and stay alive for the next few minutes." "Maybe we're bouncier in peds than in general surgery," "But i thought that there would be a "yay"" "Or some jumping around." "'cause you look pretty dour for someone" "Who's about to start a highly prized fellowship." "you are about to start a highly prized fellowship, right?" "Hey, i've got a plan to stop george. are you in?" "stop george from what?" "He joined the army." "yes, i'm in." "Bailey, i'm talking to you." "(sighs) why are you trying to stop him?" "Because he joined the army." "and?" "And because he's my ex-husband," "And i know his mom and i love his mom," "And normally izzie would talk sense into him," "But she's got cancer and kind of a bad mental deficit," "So it's on me to stop him." "but why would you want to stop him?" "Because he joined the army." "Don't you think that's a problem?" "i think that's awesome." "Awesome?" "(indistinct conversations)" "You gonna chew?" "(mouth full) mm." "My dragged-under-a-bus guy's in angio," "And they're gonna page me any minute." "How's izzie?" "is she retaining anything?" "no." "Okay, uh, at 6:00 p.m.," "Your idiotic colleague george o'malley" "Will finish his surgery with the chief." "and at 6:00 p.m.," "You will be standing beside us in the o.r. hallway," "Prepared to join in an intervention." "what polite company might call an intervention," "Though i'm not sure interventions" "Involve whooping people on the behind with a belt." "What, he's got a drinking problem now?" "he joined the army." "What?" "!" "007?" "he can't go to army." "He's the guy that gets killed." "he's that guy who gets killed cleaning his own gun." "Grey is going to coax him back as a loving friend." "You are going to use logic and reason" "To point out the idiocy of his ways." "Stevens will make sad cancer eyes." "And if all of that doesn't work, karev, you're gonna pull out" "Your "i was raised out back with the trash cans" roots" "And just beat the crap out of him." "6:00." "6:00." "(pager beeps)" "Hey there." "I know this must be scary, but if it's any consolation," "You're a hard-core hero." "You saved that woman's life." "I-is he trying to write something?" "Can you hold this?" "(pen clatters)" "Oh, okay." "You'll be stronger tomorrow." "(owen) call o.r. one." "tell 'em to get ready for him." "Amanda, you can't be out here." "Would you want to be all alone at a time like this?" "We had 30 seconds of interaction" "Before he saved my life," "And... and i wasn't even nice." "I was standing on a corner when this..." "Ordinary-looking guy stands next to me and smiles," "And... and i'm so busy" "Scoping for someone hotter that..." "I don't even give him a second look." "And next thing i know, he throws me" "Out of the way of a bus i'm about to walk in front of" "And almost gets himself killed." "He literally..." "he swept me off my feet." "That is my prince in that bed." "Okay, you can stay until they take him to surgery." "Uh, not a good time." "you know what?" "you walk away from me again," "I swear i will grab you by the hair and pull hard." "I grew up with the name arizona." "I learned how to play dirty on the playground." "I stuck my neck out for you." "you were my pick." "and i appreciate that, but it's a big decision." "It's not, frankly." "it's the brass ring." "It's the most exclusive, it's the most competitive," "And we're as good as it gets." "Nobody lands this thing and says no." "My husband informed me yesterday" "That if i accept the peds fellowship," "If i sign on for another two years of training" "And the hours and the workload that come with it" "When i could be a general surgery attending" "And make it home for dinner," "He will divorce me." "it's a big decision." "(woman speaking indistinctly over p.a.)" "You're gonna have a hard time saving that arm." "I can get him back to full function" "If i can get there in time." "I'm thinking about buying a house." "good for you." "Meredith and i are gonna go to city hall this afternoon." "We're getting married." "really?" "Mm-hmm." "That's great news." "i know." "If i could just save stevens" "You're allowed to be happy." "you're allowed to get married." "You've earned that right." "Congratulations, you lucky bastard." "Come here." "give me a hug." "Oh." "Why is everyone hugging today?" "Oh, the blushing bride." "All right, here is the plan for our john doe." "Shepherd, you'll evacuate the epidural." "Grey and i will correct the internal injuries." "That'll make room for torres to place the internal fixator." "Sloan, you should still have time to work on the arm" "If the patient doesn't get too acidotic or hypothermic." "Do you think he has a shot?" "i've seen people come back from worse." "Hey, i thought you were in surgery." "I'm on my way." "have you talked to bailey" "About this peds and tucker thing?" "no, i talked to bailey about the army thing and george." "Are you upset with me?" "(chuckles)" "No, i'm awesome." "Calliope-- no, do not-- do not "calliope" me, okay?" "You said it was awesome." "George--sweet, kind george who can't even kill a fly" "Is joining the army to go to iraq" "In the middle of a war, and you said "awesome." it is awesome." "No, it is not awesome." "god!" "who are you?" "**" "(derek) how's the arm?" "(mark) the nerves are still intact." "Just have to reattach the vessels." "you ready for me?" "I'm almost done with the major internal crush injuries." "Pelvis will be all yours in a minute." "Give me some more laps, please." "you think you could do it?" "Step in front of a bus for a perfect stranger?" "(callie) we'd all like to think we would, but" "That's more or less what major hunt's been doing" "Every day for the last couple of years." "oh, no, the guys did." "i just came in behind 'em" "With a dustpan and a broom and swept up." "You sewed up soldiers under fire." "You didn't sweep up." "How do you think o'malley is gonna do over there?" "You think--you think he can handle it?" "no, i don't." "I think he's gonna surprise us all." "I think he's coming back in a body bag." "I think you all should just shut up." "Just shut the hell up." "Please. shut up." "**" ""shepherd got your whole tumor out."" "Oh, my god." "Alex, why didn't you tell me?" "oh, my god." "Oh." "but we're working on it." "You remember what time you woke up this morning?" "Um, not exactly." "7:45." "7:45." ""o'malley joined the army"?" "What?" "yeah, he's gonna be a trauma surgeon in iraq." "When'd you wake up?" "7:45." "he's gonna get killed." "yeah, we're dealing with it." "Did you know about this george thing?" "Yep. (sighs) canon fodder." "I'm just gonna take some more blood." "Last time we checked, your potassium was 6.3." "When'd you wake up?" "um, early." "i can't quite remember. i... 7:45. 6.3. 7:45." "(sighs)" ""o'malley joined the army"?" "george?" "We're dealing with it." "What's your potassium?" "Uh, i..." "Iz, what's your potassium?" "you know what?" "Why don't we just give her the chart to read" "And try and memorize, okay?" "And i can talk to you about her hyperkalemia." "Look, she just had brain surgery" "And an incredibly aggressive course of i.l.-2." "She needs rest." "she needs to exercise whatever memory she's got left" "Before it all turns to mush." "well, she's not gonna heal" "With you barking orders at her like a caveman." "Butt out, yang." "no, she's my patient. i don't care if you're her husband." "Look, she-- you want to see how fast i can get your visiting hours" "Down to zero?" "she signed a d.n.r. she signed a friggin' d.n.r." "And made me promise she'd come outta this with a life." "Not in a hospital bed, not with no brain," "I had to promise she'd have a life." "You want to know what happens" "If she can't make any new memories?" "Forget about being a doctor." "She's gonna need round-the-clock babysitters." "We get an apartment together, and she can't ever" "Find her way to the damn toilet." "Tracker on her ankle in case, god forbid," "She wanders out the front door!" "alex, you can handle this." "she will get better." "Maybe. maybe not." "it's on me." "Her future is on me." "Is he gonna be okay?" "We'll know more in the morning." "Go ahead." "(clicks keyboard keys)" "How's she doing?" "any better?" "No." "(sighs) damn." "(clicks keyboard keys)" "Well, i'm going to city hall" "To go do the thing." "Seriously?" "it doesn't seem like the day for it." "(speaking inaudibly) look at alex." "He's in there working so hard all day," "And she doesn't know." "And if she stays like this," "She may never know how much he loves her." "And that girl amanda..." "She's in there loving a stranger." "She thinks that's her prince charming." "mm." "I mean, he's probably gonna die today, chances are." "So yeah, i'm gonna go get married." "Because i think it's important to take the time" "To tell the people you love how much you love them" "While they can hear you." "(speaking inaudibly)" "I love you, cristina yang." "You have changed." "Mm. maybe i have." "(elevator bell dings)" "What?" "I'm gonna hug you." "I don't see things." "So maybe i just don't get" "What's going on with you or why you're so mad," "But i do think it's awesome." "I think that george joining the army is awesome." "um, shut up." "Um, no. you asked me who i was." "I am a person who thinks that what george is doing" "Is dangerous and terrifying and brave." "He's going to serve his country." "He's going to risk his life to save the men and women" "Who make it possible for you and i" "To sleep safely in our beds." "I'm a person who thinks that that is brave." "And i am a person who stood in an airplane hanger" "And watched them unload my brother's body" "In a coffin... (voice breaks) and all we got was a flag." "(normal voice) my brother died over there" "Because there weren't enough doctors, callie." "So for my money, george o'malley is a patriot." "He's a hero," "And i am grateful that he exists." "So yeah, the word i use is "awesome."" "That's who i am." "I'm sorry." "(air hissing)" "(metal clanging)" "Sorry, i-i didn't realize" "Oh, no, no, wait." "I..." "love..." "You." "Well, i-i-i love you, too." "No, just..." "I love you." "I said-- i said "i love you."" "Me." "Cristina yang." "(mutters)" "(exhales deeply)" "You traumatized me." "And you know that i am s-- i am so sorry about" "Oh, no, damn it." "not about the choking." "It's... it's like you come here and then you pull out my icicle" "And you make me love you, and i can't" "I mean, i don't want to-- i-i can't breathe..." "Without you." "You can do this." "cristina, we can do this." "All you have to do is just meet me halfway." "All you have to do is say yes." "All you have to do is say yes." "(metal clanks, air hisses)" "What's your crit?" "Ugh." "(mouth full) this is disgusting." "I can't believe we serve it to the patients." "(normal voice) "you keep asking for lime jell-o" "And don't like it."" "So stop giving it to me." "You get mad if i don't." "Okay, now what's your crit?" "I don't know." "i'm tired." "What's o'malley doing tomorrow?" "Joining the army." "Yeah." "i need a break." "You don't think i need a break?" "suck it up." "What--god." "Back off." "I'm sorry if this is hard for you," "But you are not the one" "With the short-term memory of a carrot." "(sighs)" "(clatters)" "Hey. go ahead." "get it off your chest." "It's not like i'm gonna remember in five minutes." "okay, i'm not the one with a carrot for a brain," "But i'm married to it 'cause of some crock of a wedding" "We walked into, and only because" "The two of us thought you'd be dead within a week." "You made me promise you that you wouldn't live like this." "So now what the hell am i supposed to do," "Smother you with a pillow," "Shoot you up with a-an overdose of morphine?" "Not really psyched about that. leave you?" "Not really psyched about that either." "So i guess i'm kinda screwed, right?" "I mean, not as bad as you," "But not a friggin' walk in the park, either." "I'm sorry, iz." "No." "I told you to get it off your chest. you did." "(sighs)" "Did you forget yet?" "Nope. not yet." "Give me a minute." "Um... j" "If there's still a spot for me in general surgery," "I'd like to take you up on that." "I spent months trying to talk you off peds." "I finally get on board, and you change your mind?" "Tucker gave me an ultimatum" "The fellowship or our marriage." "You chose your marriage." "No, i'm leaving him," "Because a marriage that resorts to ultimatums," "That's not a marriage." "I mean, what kind of husband does that?" "So... i'm going to be a single mom." "(voice breaking) it's not the time for..." "New specialties." "(breathes erratically)" "(crying) damn." "I'm sorry." "It's just the first time i said it out loud," "So it just kinda took the wind out of me." "Miranda, are you sure about this?" "I mean, he might come around." "He... he's just scared." "Well, we're all scared." "I mean, if you're not scared, you're not paying attention." "O-one of my residents just signed up to go to war." "That's scary." "Another one just almost lost her life to melanoma." "Now she doesn't know what day it is." "That's scary." "What tucker's facing isn't scary." "He's just weak." "No, a pat on the back isn't gonna help, sir." "Okay." "um, should i go?" "uh... (crying)" "Okay. okay." "(whimpers)" "Okay." "I'll just stand here with you" "If that's all right." "Yes, sir." "That would be fine." "I thought you were operating on john doe." "I already did. right now i'm looking at houses." "One has a stone fireplace, which i like." "This one has a backyard the size of montana." "Uh-huh." "you're buying a house?" "Yeah." "Right. (chuckles) okay." "I'm buying a house right now." "It's a buyer's market, and i'm buying a house." "The only reason that you're even talking about a house" "Is to make me feel bad." "(scoffs)" "You're trying to prove that you're moving on without me" "So then i'll regret my decision and change my mind." "okay, is this what women are doing" "When they say they're moving on?" "yeah." "They don't usually take out a home loan to do it, but" "Pathetic. let me be clear." "i'm moving on." "I'm a better woman than you." "(scoffs)" "(pager beeps) ready to go?" "I just got a page. our john doe needs to go back into surgery." "Yeah. his post-op c.t. showed a re-bleed." "I'm gonna have nelson take care of it." "no, really?" "Yeah. well, i'd prefer to do it myself," "But i want to check in on izzie." "Maybe we can go do that first and then go get married after?" "no, we can't" "Because we have the george intervention after that." "i'll have nelson do it." "You know what?" "tell them to prep him." "We'll run to city hall, we'll come back" "And we'll do it then." "meredith" "No, you know, let's go." "we gotta go." "We gotta run to city hall, we'll come back," "You'll check on izzie, we'll monitor john doe," "I'll go talk george out of joining the army-- look, we could do this another day." "There is no other day." "every day is like this." "Every day there's a crisis." "there's no time." "meredith" "I love you, and i do want to marry you today," "But there is no time." "(sighs)" "**" "You have a piece of paper?" "For what?" "I want to be with you forever," "And you want to be with me forever." "And in order to do that, we need to make vows," "A commitment, a contract." "Give me a piece of paper." "I don't." "I-i-i don't." "I-i have post-its." "**" "Okay." "(sighs)" "What do we want to promise each other?" "**" "(taps post-its)" "**" "That you'll love me..." "Even when you hate me." "To love each other even when we hate each other." "No running... ever." "Nobody walks out no matter what happens." "No running." "what else?" "That we'll take care of each other" "Even when we're old and smelly and senile," "And if i get alzheimer's and forget you..." "I will remind you who i am every day." "To take care when old, senile... and smelly." "This..." "Is forever." "Sign." "This is our wedding, a post-it?" "Mm-hmm. if you sign it." "Now what?" "Now i kiss the bride." "Married." "Married." "(sighs)" "See that?" "Plenty of time." "Gotta do an e.k.g." "What, i don't even get any small talk?" "What's your problem?" "well, i'll tell you." "I know that i'm supposed to be grateful" "For my "new lease on life,"" "But alex marched in here and basically told me" "That being married to me" "Was the worst thing that ever happened to him." "Yeah, and that he was trying to decide" "If smothering me with a pillow was the best way" "To put us both out of our misery." "Okay, where is it?" "Where is what?" "Where's the note that says that?" "Did you write that down?" "no." "No." "(chuckles)" "(speaking inaudibly)" "Yes." "Yes." "(chuckles) i've gotta go." "i've gotta find alex." "Go, go." "Oh, i'm sorry. i was just-- i was looking for george." "Bailey, it's after 6:00." "Yes, uh, we scheduled an intervention" "So that we could give o'malley a piece of our minds" "About this idiotic army business." "Now did he leave already?" "he never scrubbed in." "He told me he was enlisting." "i sent him home," "Told him to spend the day with his mom" "Since he was leaving so soon." "Uh, he took off this morning." "(sighs)" "How's his i.c.p.?" "Uh. worse." "o.r. is expecting us." "I thought you were getting married." "we did." "Oh, congratulations." "You sure you want to start your honeymoon in an o.r.?" "we're sure." "You can't be in here." "I'll come and get you in the waiting room." "Hold his hand until you put him under." "It really does make him feel better." "Okay." "(sniffling)" "(meredith) well, you made a good friend there." "I guess that happens when you take a bus for somebody." "Okay." "I know this is scary," "But you do have a great team up there." "You want to try to write again?" "Can you hold the pen?" "No." "Okay, "o."" ""o."" "7?" "Double 0... 7." "(gasps)" "Oh, god!" "oh, god." "You paged me." "what do you need?" "well, way to go, dipwad." "Telling your wife you're trying to figure out how to off her?" "Oh, mind your own bus" "Wait." "how did you know that?" "She told me." "You remember?" "Pillow or morphine." "i got the whole thing." "Oh, i'm so sorry." "i didn't mean that." "Of course you didn't." "You love me too much to shoot me up with morphine" "Even if i asked you to." "And my stupid corked brain is coming back." "oh, my god. i was so scared." "I mean, i would've loved you no matter what, but..." "(laughs)" "You're back. you're back." "Iz?" "(monitor beeping erratically)" "Iz?" "Izzie?" "yang!" "(meredith) it's george!" "it's george!" "It's george!" "john doe is george!" "(monitor beeping erratically)" "Izzie, look at me." "open your eyes!" "Page shepherd. page the chief and bailey right now." "(owen) we have you, o'malley." "you hear me?" "we have you." "We'll fix this." "just stay with us." "o'malley, it's shepherd." "You're not going anywhere." "you understand me?" "B.p.'s dropping." "all right, let's put him out, now." "What happened?" "is it her brain?" "No, it's hyperkalemia." "we couldn't control the arrhythmias." "Her pressure's dropping off a cliff." "give me an intubation tray." "Alex..." "She signed a d.n.r. shut up, yang." "She knew this might happen." "that's why she signed it." "i don't give a crap what she signed." "Alex, it's not what she wants." "(monitor emitting continuous tone) get a crash cart!" "Karev, if she doesn't" "Look at her!" "get a crash cart!" "(tone continues)" "Screw the d.n.r. hand me those paddles." "Yang, take over compressions." "karev, back up." "i got it. i got it." "(richard) one, two, three." "and down." "Okay, down." "did you say it?" "i love you..." "Clear." "(defibrillator whines)" "(paddles thunk) i don't ever want to live without you... you changed my life... did you say it?" "(monitor beeping erratically) make a plan... set a goal..." "(defibrillator whines) work toward it..." "(paddles thunk) but every now and again, look around... drink it in." "'cause this is it." "(owen) we're losing him!" "(defibrillator whines, monitor beeps)" "(paddles thunk)" "(monitor emits continuous tone, defibrillator whines)" "(monitor beeps, paddles thunk)" "(tone continues)" "(richard) come on." "(crying) iz." "(richard) come on." "(tone continues)" "(richard) v-fib. clear!" "(defibrillator whines, paddles thunk) it might all be gone tomorrow."