"My father used to tell me about the wilderness." "He said it's a place where all things go to live, and all things go to die." "A place for wonder." "A place for fear." "My father said each man's wilderness is his own." "It's alive in us." "Charm!" "Where you going, man?" "Hey, Charm!" "Restless." "Waiting." "Cory!" "He found time, even at that tender age, to pay his tailor's bill properly, and to fold his trousers with the same crease every night so that he always looked neat and dignified." "Strange to say, he made no friends." "Perhaps he was just a thought too perfect for a district like the five towns." "Do you have a headache?" " James?" " Elliot's gonna die." "What do you mean?" "Elliot." "My hamster." "This is a threat, Abigail." "It's not..." "Are you kidding me?" "This isn't a threat." "You know him." "He's having a rough time." "It's only been six months." "That's not an excuse." "Your son punched my kid in the face." "Look, maybe this homeschooling thing just isn't working." " Maybe if he actually socialized..." " Oh, excuse me?" "Don't go there." "You have no idea what you're talking about, and..." "Yeah, I do." "I really don't even know it's that big of a deal." "I don't understand why he would run from him." "Did you write this?" "James, this is not right." "James." "You can't go around telling people that they're going to die." "It's not cool!" " I'm not trying to be cool." " Okay, you know what?" "You're scheduled to see Walter tomorrow." "You can discuss it with him." "Of course, let him deal with me." "Come on, Elliot." "Come on, dude." "Let me out..." "Turn we then to the one proper masthead." "That of a whale-ship at sea." "Lost in the infinite series of sea..." "Nothing ruffled but the waves." "Straining along the deep... while beneath you swim the hugest of monsters." "There's a wolf in me." "Fangs pointed for tearing gashes." "A red tongue for raw meat." "There's a hog in me." "A snout and a..." "Did you know turquoise isn't from Turkey?" "What?" "Your ring." "It was actually traded in Turkish bazaars, but it was found in Iran." "I know a lot about turquoise." "Great." "Yeah." "What happened to your face?" " I was kicked by a mule." " A mule?" "Big fat one." "James?" "Dr. Pembry's ready for you." "Your shoes, Walter." "They're ridiculous." "Why are my shoes so important, James?" "Well, they're not important to me, but they should be to you." "Why?" "Well..." "For all you know they could be... lifting a piano to the fourth floor as we speak." "And then you step outside, a cable snaps, and then boom." "Dead." "In those hideous shoes." "Is that how I'm going to go?" "Death by piano?" "Is that what you believe?" "And what about... your hamster?" "You also know how he's going to croak, right?" "You know, that's unprofessional." "To do that during a session." "Well, I heard you were officially accepted to St. Helen's." "The freak school?" "It's not a freak school." "Some of the most gifted young people in the world have studied there." "At the freak school in the mountains." "Well, it's normal to be scared or anxious to go to a new school." " I'm not scared." " Really?" "Really, and this is a waste of my time, because I'm not going." "Might be good to meet some new people." " James..." " I don't want to talk about it." "Alright, how about your father then?" "Let's talk about your dad." "You went to visit his grave the other day?" "James?" "I'm going to excuse myself to the restroom." "Hey." "You're so busted." "Where you going?" "I'm leaving." "Looks more like escaping." "Maybe." "Where are you escaping to?" " Home?" " That's not very ambitious." "I don't have anywhere else to go." "I gotta go." "So, how did it go?" "Did you two talk about school?" "James?" "Earth to James!" "St. Helen's." "Did you and Walter talk about it?" "I have a headache." "This could be really good." "It's an honor you got in." " They're really impressed." " All right." "I really want you to look at the web site." "They're super progressive." "They've got specialty studies on music theory and gothic literature." "Philosophy..." "I have to stop by the shop and pick up a few things." "There's a wolf in me." "Fangs pointed for tearing gashes." "A red tongue for raw meat." "I keep this wolf because the wilderness gave it to me." "And I cannot let it go." "James?" "What did you do to Elliot?" "What?" "What..." "What did you do to him?" "I didn't do anything." "What?" "You think I killed him?" "I need my notebook." "Don't..." " I'm not kidding, James." "This is..." " I didn't kill him!" " James, talk..." " Stop!" "You smell like wine." "There's a baboon in me." "It lives inside my head." "Clawing and yapping." "I roam in the dark." "Going God knows where." "Excuse me, but..." "Haven't I seen you before?" "By the North Oak clinic, you were playing the piano?" "Did you give me a dollar?" "No, I didn't." "Oh, well, shit I must not've been that good then." "No." "No, I..." "I just couldn't." "Well, then shit, you owe me a dollar then." "Yeah." "I'm fucking with you, man." "I'm joking." "I'm Harmon." "James..." "Charm." "Alright James Charm." "Do you know Frederic Chopin?" "Chopin?" "You usually ride around the bus at night talking about Chopin?" "James Charm." " Who's this?" " That is James Charm." "What are you wearing?" "Just my clothes." " I like it." " Thanks." "Is she, like, your girlfriend?" "Me and Gunny." "No." "Gunny's into girls." "Well, sometimes she's into dudes, but mostly girls." "So, where you going, Charm?" "I..." "I dunno." "You wanna come with us, string bean?" " Where are we going?" " Ain't nowhere we're going, man." " What's up, man!" " Hey!" "What is he doing?" "You know that girl?" "Kind of." "Not really." "I think she hates me." "Well, see, if you think she hates you, she probably likes you." "So, you're good." "Go talk to her." "Go on, go talk to her." " Do you work here?" " Yeah." "What's that?" "It's a pink sugar elephant." "And yeah, it hurt." "I don't think I asked that." "Probably were about to." "No." "No, I'm just curious as to why you have a little elephant." "I don't know why." "Getting kind of emotional about it." "Excuse me?" "I didn't mean to offend you." "I'm actually very fond of them." "E-elephants." "God, you're weird." "So why are you even here?" " What do you mean?" " I've never seen you here before." "Pretty sure you're stalking me." "I'm..." "I'm wanted for hamster murder." "Come on, man, we're out." " What?" " The game." " This is..." " Val." "I'm Val." "I'm Harmon." "Okay." "Okay." "Come on, string bean." " I guess I gotta go." " Alright, I'll see ya." "See ya." "What is this place?" "You live here?" "Sort of, man, it's..." "It's the cave, you know?" "It's a mess in here right now." "So you're a... you're in a band, right?" "Sometimes." "Who's this?" "Oh, yeah, my bad." "We don't have any Chopin in here, okay?" " That's too bad." " Yeah, it is too bad." "How'd you get that?" "I told this kid I knew when he was going to die." "Say what?" "I told this kid I knew when he was going to die and he punched me in the face." "I'd probably punch you in the face too." "Yeah." "So I mean, how would you know when he was going to die?" " I just know." " You just know." "Yes." "I mean, shit, do you know when I'm going to die?" "It doesn't quite work like that." "How does it work?" "I can't explain it." "I'm kind of cursed." "That's some dark shit, James." "You need to tell that to some girls, for real." " Are you teasing me?" " No." "Dead serious." "Tell some girls about that shit." " I'm serious." " So you actually believe me?" "Why not, man?" "For you, man." "Baby lungs." "Good morning." "Hey." "Where'd you go?" "I thought you were still sleeping." "I got up early to find a place to bury Elliot." "Where?" "The... near the arboretum." "Like by the scarecrow." "Will you please let me know if you're going out?" "Yeah." "Hello?" "What are you doing?" "You're going to have to pay for that." "You know I was just kidding, right?" "What's that one?" "That's the blood-filled voodoo doll." "Chocolate frosting, raspberry jam filling, and a pretzel stake in its heart." "What's that one?" "Tang-fastic, vanilla frosting and tang." " And Tang?" " Tang, like the drink." " Doesn't look like a drink." " You've never heard of Tang?" "Interesting." "I'm..." "I got this for you." "Hey, wait a second." " What is this?" " It's a store address." "Be there tomorrow at four." "Anyone here?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "James Charm!" "Harmon?" "What are you doing man?" "The door was open, I thought you guys would be in here." "James Charm!" "Hold on, we're heading down." "We gotta go meet up with Gunny." "Cool?" "Jesus..." " What happened last night?" " I don't know, man." "Did you get in trouble?" "Not yet." "I think my mom's going to kill me though." "What about your dad?" "He passed away." "What about your parents, or whatever?" "I don't have parents, man." "Heads up, man." "Jesus." "Come on." "String bean, get one of them man." "Grab from the top, they then shuffle." "That's it, Gunny?" "Three each." " For free?" " No." "There's a fox in me." "We dart through the night." "We circle and loop and double-cross." "We thrive." "What the fuck." " Who steals ham?" " Grabbed it." " Grabbed it." "It was in the moment." " Hey, yo." "The other day..." "I was like tripping, out of my mind." "And there was a spider web." "It was like... the biggest spider web you have ever fucking seen." "Right." "This moth flew right in the middle of it." "So, I'm watching this guy fight and struggle, and he's struggling like crazy." "Sure enough, a gnarly-ass spider starts coming over, trying to eat this thing, and I'm like, "I have to save this guy."" "But can't." "I can't help him, you know?" "Because I can't mess with what's going on." "Like it's so much bigger than me, I know that." "Struggling and struggling this whole time." "Breaks free." "He breaks free, he's out of the web, he's good." "But he had used up all his strength, so all he could do was really drift and fall and land." "And in that split moment, I shit you not... no lie." "Frog turns up, bam, done." " He eats that dude." " No!" "It's breakfast." "It's over." "And all of that meant nothing, like, all that struggling and fighting meant nothing." "That's horrible." " That's a horrible story." " Not, I guess, if you're the frog." " I guess it's good for the frog." " Yeah, I guess." "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait..." "Is this some chick's handwriting?" "Yeah." "That girl Val wants to meet up tomorrow, but I'm not gonna..." "Yo, you either go meet up with her or I'm gonna meet up with her." "I gotta go anyway." "I think I'm wasted." "You better go find her, James." "Jesus." " Where have you been?" " Out." " What is he doing here?" " We've been out looking for you all night." "Are you drunk?" "Answer me!" "Have you been drinking?" "You're gonna lecture me?" "On drinking?" " Are you fucking my mom?" " James!" " No." "I..." " Are you?" "I'm gonna go now." " I'll see you tomorrow at work." " Okay." " Thank you." " Later, Gabe." "One of these days you're going to wake up and realize the world doesn't revolve around only you." "You came!" "Come here." "Hey, can I see the ring?" " Do you want to try it on?" " Yes." "Try it." "I keep getting dizzy." " What?" " I keep getting dizzy." " You're getting dizzy on a bus?" " Yeah." "I don't usually get..." " You know when people make wishes on..." " Dandelions?" "No, not dandelions." "Stars?" "It's hilarious because the star they're wishing on is like..." " A dying one?" " Probably dead." "So what is this place?" "Place I used to come with my dad." "What does he do?" "He's a firefighter." "That's awesome." "So do you have, like... a disorder or something?" "Like..." "Sorry, why... why do you..." "why were you at the clinic?" "My parents separated when I was 11." "And after that I just started getting into a lot of fights." "Fights?" "I went to this catholic school with like a thousand bitches, and they thought I was weird, so..." "That's a lot of bitches." "I just thought it would be super dramatic to down a bottle of pills in the girl's bathroom." "I had to get my stomach pumped and my dad flipped." "You tried to kill yourself?" "Kind of." "Why do you go to the clinic?" "My dad died, and my mom doesn't think I'm "socially adjusted."" "Okay, string bean!" " I have to pee." " You have to what?" " I have to pee." " Bathroom's over there." " What?" "What?" " What happened?" "Nothing." "Okay." "It's not, it's not like that." "Come on, I gotta show you something." "Wow." "That's amazing." " Did you make that?" " Yeah." "I know you dig that Chopin." "I'm glad you like it though." " A work in progress, you know?" " I love it." "Good, 'cause you're the first person I've played it for." "Pull!" " Give him one." " Pull!" "Miss!" "Miss!" "I'm..." "I'm going to St. Helen's." "I'm actually very excited to..." "to go to the academy." "Just like that, change of heart?" "Just like that." "Why do you come here, James?" " What do you mean?" " I mean why do you come here?" "All the hours, all the sessions..." "Why?" "'Cause my mom makes me." "Your mom can't make you do anything." "But that's funny." "No." "I think you come here because there's a part of you that feels guilty." " What are you talking about?" " Maybe it's your mom." "Maybe it eats at you that she's had to go to hell and back just like you." "Even though you'd never admit that to her, no." "Did you know I knew your father?" "You didn't." "I never told you that." "When I taught at tabor he was there." "Big guy." "Tall." "Quiet." "And you know something?" "You're nothing like him." "So, you can keep going on where you're going." "Or... you can deal with it." "Fuck!" "No, stop!" "Man, chill!" "Come on, buddy." "Come on." "Yo." "Come on, man." "Come on, man, chill out, okay?" "Chill out!" "Chill out, just..." "I don't think I like cigarettes." "Then don't smoke." "Hey." "Think somebody's here to see you." "Hey." "I've been looking for you." "Oh, shit." "Yeah." "Listen, I'm really sorry about the other night." "I was messed up and I wasn't thinking, and I was, it was..." "My dad killed himself." "He..." "Jumped off the Vista Bridge and it really fucked me up." "I'm really sorry." "I have to go." "I'm not mad at you." "Mom." "I didn't have the vision that Elliot was going to die." "What do you mean?" "I read somewhere that... that when hamsters stop eating, usually they're sick... or... they're probably dying." "I just made a... an educated prediction." "And I don't know when Cory is gonna die." "He's just a jerk." "Okay." "Mom..." "I need to tell you something that I've never told anyone before." "I saw it." "You saw what?" "Dad." "I saw him do it." "I was awake that night." "I saw him leave." "So I went after him." "He didn't see me." "I was hidden behind the trees." "The way he did it was remarkable." "No hesitation." "No standing on the ledge thinking." "He just walked right up, took a deep breath, and fell over." "I'm not lying." "I'm sorry." "I never told anybody." "It's so..." "It's so different when you say it out loud." "I don't even need to say that there's not a day when I... don't wake up and think over every single... thing in my head that happened." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "My father used to tell me about the wilderness." "He said it's alive in us." "Restless." "Waiting." "This is the wilderness my father left behind." "But it is not mine."