"It's fuckin' cold outside." "The guy on the radio said it's gonna get down to 34." "It's 34." "That's freezing, for Christ sakes." "Yo, Chili!" "What, you spacing?" "They're closing down the Granville." "You know, that theater on Biscayne?" "That guy owes Momo a couple G's." "I know." "I was thinkin' maybe Momo should buy it." "I could run it for him, show some old Cagney movies." "What's Momo gonna want with some broken-down theater that shows movies nobody wants to see anymore?" "Outside of maybe turning it Into some kind of porno house, he's not gonna give much of a fuck." " I'm gonna go talk to this Chili." " Besides, you already got a job." "Yeah... yeah." " Hey, Ray!" "How you doing?" " Yeah, good." "You?" "Okay." "Can you believe this weather?" "Miami Beach, for Christ sakes." "Chili Palmer." "It's chilly outside, and it's Chili inside." "It's a regular fuckin' Chili-fest!" "How you doing, Ray?" "Obviously much better than you, Chili." "That was a good one." "Yeah, yeah." "Hey, when you're done staring out the window," "I'll meet you back at the office." "Hey!" "Where's my coat?" "It's not one of these?" "Do you see a black leather jacket, fingertip length, like the one Pacino wore in Serpico?" " 'Cause if you don't, you owe me $379." " Maybe you didn't see the sign." "I seen the sign, but I didn't come to sunny Florida to freeze my ass off, you got that?" "So you either find my coat, or you give me the $379 that my ex-wife paid for it at Alexander's." "Wait a minute." "Ray Bones took my coat?" "No, no, he didn't take it." "He borrowed it, 'cause, see, somebody took his coat." "So Mr. Barboni try this other coat, and it fit him pretty good." "That was my coat." "He was wearing it to go home, but he's not gonna keep it." "My car keys are in that coat." "Mr. Barboni is a good customer." "You know, he works for Jimmy Capp." "I know who he works for." "Where's your phone?" "This way." "Are you sure it was Ray Bones that took the coat?" "That's what the man said." "Tomorrow I see on the TV weather it's gonna be nice and warm." " You don't need the coat." " This is it." "Get the coat." "Just don't piss the guy off, okay?" "Then we're gonna have to call Momo and straighten the whole thing out, and Momo's gonna be pissed off for wasting his time." "We don't need that." "Don't worry." "I'm not gonna say any more than I have to, if that." "It's freezing." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Just a minute." "What are you, fuckin' nuts?" "My nose!" "My nose!" "Holy shit!" "Somebody call 9-fuckin'-111!" "Somebody call 9-fuckin'-111!" "What do you want me to do, Ray, go to war over a fucking coat?" "You're lucky the guy didn't kill you." "The coat was a Christmas present, for Christ sakes." "Now, listen to me, Jimmy." "You gotta do something about this guy." "He's running amok." "And he's got no fuckin' respect for none of us." "He's got no respect for you." "And I don't gotta do shit!" "Chili Palmer don't work for me." "He works for Momo up in Brooklyn, so as long as Momo's around, nothing happens to Chili Palmer." "Do you understand?" "Over here." "We're here, Momo." "I hope you guys checked this place out good, 'cause I'm goin' in there alone, and I don't want no fuckin' surprises." "Oh, yeah." "I checked everything, Momo." "Yeah, who is it?" " It's Momo." " Get in here." "Surprise!" "What are you tryin' to say..." "you're never gonna sleep again?" "No, I said I'm never goin' to bed." "There's a difference." "This article says that most people die in their beds." "I figure as long as I stay out of bed, I'm safe." "What?" "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard of." "Where you gonna sleep?" "In my recliner." "You know, the tan one in the TV room." "Or I'll go to the coffee shop, slide into a booth, pull my hat down." "Hey, how many people you know died in a coffee shop?" "Cut straight hair in here or just fags?" "Hey, Bones." "That's quite a scar you got on your head." "Why don't you have these guys fit you for a rug, cover it up for you?" "You two geezers take your game to the park." "This man is the man." "You understand what I'm sayin', motherfucker?" "He's Mr. Bones, and you speak to Mr. Bones from now on." "Come on." "You can do better than him, can't you?" "Not these days." "Not unless you speak Spanish." "You got a miss." "Leo Devoe... he's six weeks over." "He's dead." "How do you know he's dead?" "Did he tell you?" "Yeah, he told me that he was dead." "Personally?" "Yeah, Ray, he personally told me that he got killed in that Getaway jet crash that happened a month ago." "Maybe he took out some flight insurance." "Go check with his wife." "You check it out." "It's your book now." "He owns some dry cleaning store over on Federal Highway." "Let me explain something to you." "Momo is dead, which means that everything he had now belongs to Jimmy Capp, including you, which also means that when I speak, I speak for Jimmy... e.g., from now on, you start showing me the proper fucking respect." ""E.g." means "for example."" "What I think you want to say is "i.e."" "Bullshit, it's short for ergo." "Ask your man." "To the best of my knowledge, "e.g." means "for example."" "E.g., i.e., fuck you." "The point is this... when I say, "Jump," you say, "Okay," okay?" "Yeah, Ray." "Okay." "Now, you owe me the dry cleaner's 15 G's, plus the juice, which is another..." "2,700." "You either get it from his wife or outta your own pocket." "I don't give a fuck, but you never hand me a book with a miss." "We'll see you, Ray." "Go see the dry cleaner's wife." "You got three days." "I told you not to piss him off that time." "You remember..." "Don't say another fuckin' word, all right?" "I hate the dry cleaning business." "I hate being inside all day around all those machines." "Must be hot." "You have no idea how hot it is." "You know, Fay, I was..." "I was wondering... did Leo have life insurance?" "I don't know of any." "I trust you, Chili." "I think you're a decent type of man, even if you are a crook." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you, Fay." "I wish he really was dead." "He's a son of a bitch." "Yeah, that's him, all right." "Called himself Larry DeMille." "Hit on every showgirl in town." "He told me he was the Martinizing king of Miami." "What a moron." "Anyway, you want this guy, he's in L.A." "We put him on a plane after he spanked one of my cocktail girls." " Leo spanked a cocktail girl?" " Apparently, the way it went he invites her to Santa Anita to play the ponies with him." "She tells him what he can do with that." "He gives her one on the tush." "My guess... he's by his lonesome at the track right now." "Hey, Chill, if you decide to go to L.A., this guy owes us 150 grand." "60 days over." "Some movie producer." "Movie producer?" "Really?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "Why not?" "Appreciate that, man." "You're gonna love this guy." "Another fuckin' moron." "Harry Zimm." "All right." "Thanks a bunch." " Where is it?" " It's right there." "Well, what is that?" " It's an Oldsmobile Silhouette." " I ordered a Cadillac." "Oh, well, yeah, that's the Cadillac of minivans." "Are you kidding me?" "Hey, you want, La Tijera Car Rental is right over there, but I think all they got Is Rabbit convertibles." "Guess I'll take the Cadillac of minivans." "Harry!" "Harry, goddamn it, wake up!" "Wake up." "Somebody's downstairs." " What's wrong?" " Somebody's downstairs." "Be quiet." "Listen!" " I don't hear anything." " Right there." "It's the television." "When I came upstairs, you stayed downstairs to finish your drink." "I told you to turn off the television when you were through." "I also told you you could sleep in the maid's room." "Yeah, well, I did that." "I turned the television off with the remote thing, then I laid it on the floor." "You know what could've happened?" "The dog came in, stepped on it and turned the television back on." "I don't have a dog, Harry." "You don't?" "What happened to Muffy?" "Harry, are you gonna go down there or do you want me to do it?" "No, I'm going." "Hurry!" "Anybody skimming' the pool?" "It needs it." "I'm goin', I'm goin'." "I've gotta go to the bathroom." "All right, I'm going." "I'm going." "Jesus." "Do you have one of those satellite dishes?" "No satellite dishes." "Now, where I live... how many channels do you get of television?" "Oh, probably 40, 50 channels." "Are you on the information superhighway?" "No, not yet." "Where I live... and I get all of the premium services on my cable..." "I get 2,800 different channels." "2,800 channels?" "No kidding." " If I wanted, I could..." " Harry Zimm." "Jesus Christ!" "How you doing?" "I'm Chili Palmer." "Jesus!" "If I have a heart attack, I hope you know what to do." "Where you been, Harry?" "Have we met?" "I don't recall." "We just did." "I told you, my name's Chili Palmer." "You're in pictures, right?" "Did you ever stop to think what would happen if I had a heart attack?" " Look at me, Harry." " I'm looking at you." "I want you to keep looking at me, right here." "Well, that's what I'm doin'." "You know Dick Allen?" "Mesa's Casino?" "That's what this is." "You're a collector for the fucking casino." "You come in here in the middle of the night." "I thought you were an actor auditioning, for Christ sakes." "We'll see about this." "Operator, let me have Las Vegas information." "Harry, let me give you some advice." "You don't want to act like a hard-on, you're standing there in your undies." "What you want to do is sit down and talk to me." " Harry, a marker is like a check." " I know what a marker is." "They don't want to deposit yours and have it bounce." "That annoys them." "And your dear friend Dick Allen's been calling you, leaving messages on your machine, and you haven't gotten back to him, so he asked me, as a favor, to look you up." "I follow you here, and I see you in a window with a woman, looks a lot like Karen Flores, the actress from Grotesque." "You're not looking at me, Harry." "Why do I have to keep looking at you?" "Because I want you to." "So now you're gonna get rough, huh?" "I make good by tomorrow, or you're gonna break my legs?" "Come on, Harry." "Mesa's?" "Tell Dick Allen I'll cover those markers in the next 60 days at the most." "If he doesn't like it, then that's his problem, the fucking prick." "So, you want me to call you a cab?" "So you make movies, huh?" "I produce feature motion pictures." "No TV." "You mentioned Grotesque before?" "That happens to be Grotesque, Part II that Karen Flores was in." "She also starred in three of my Slime Creatures releases." "You may have seen them." "I got an idea for a movie." "Yeah, what did this guy look like?" "You can't imagine what a pathetic little guy!" "Is he one of these with the Bermuda shorts and the black socks?" "No, no." "Wait for this." "Okay." "Leo, right?" "He would wear, like, plaid wool hats in Miami in the middle of the summer." "He doesn't want anyone to think that he's bald, right, so he'd be wearing a fuckin' cap!" "Say hello to Chili Palmer." "Chili, this is Karen Flores." "It's a pleasure to meet you, Karen." "How'd you get in the house?" "He's just telling me an idea for a movie." "It's not bad so far." "Sit down, have a drink." "Tell Karen." "See what she thinks." " Maybe you didn't hear me." " I came in the back door." "You broke in?" "Well, it was open." "Wasn't locked." "Well, what if it were?" "You want to hear this idea?" "It's about this dry cleaner that scams the airline out of 300 grand." "Tell her." "It's simple." "It's basically about a guy who owes a shylock $15,000, and he's about three weeks over on the vig." " That's the interest you have to pay." " I know what vig is." "Anyway, this dry cleaner... let's call him Leo, all right?" "He's scared." "He doesn't know any better." "He leaves town." "So Leo gets on the plane, but the plane sits there... it doesn't move." "They announce over the PA system there's some kind of mechanical problem." "They'll be there maybe an hour," ""But keep your seats in case they get it fixed sooner."" "So the guy's nervous and in no shape just to sit there, sweat it out, so he gets off the plane, he goes into the cocktail lounge, and he starts throwing them down, one after another." "As a matter of fact, he's still in the lounge when the plane crashes on takeoff." "When the guy finds out it was his flight, he can't believe it." "If he had stayed on the plane, he'd be dead." "Right now, he knows his luck has changed." "If everybody thinks he's dead, he won't have to pay back the 15 or what he owes on the vig." "Keep going." "Come on." "Since Leo's name was on the passengers list, they bring his wife out to the airport, where they're going through personal effects, whatever wasn't burned up." "Leo's bags were on the plane, so the wife tells them what to look for..." "things only she would know about." "Oh, my Leo!" "My Leo!" "So a couple of days go by, and the people from the airline come out to see his wife." "They tell her how sorry they are and all that their plane exploded, and they offer her a settlement, the amount based on what he would've earned operating the dry cleaners the rest of his life." "So how much is the wife offered?" "300 grand." "So they take it." "You know, money in the hand, babe." "So he gets his wife to cash the check, and he takes off for Vegas with the dough." "He gets there and he's supposed to call her... you know, let her know when to come out." "She never hears from him again, but he's hot." "He runs the 300 grand up to half a million." "Then he comes back to L. A..." "But it's driving the guy nuts because he's winning and he can't tell anybody who he is." "So we show in a back story his motivation, his desire to be famous." "He's got the dough to buy his way in..." "mix with the celebs... and he can't resist, so then he comes to L.A." "I don't know about the mixing with celebrities." "I mean, that's something new that was just added." "But yeah, he comes to L.A., and I don't know what happens after that." "What?" "That's it?" "That's your movie?" "I said I had an idea for a movie." "That's half a movie with holes in it..." "maybe 40 minutes of screen time." "You don't have a girl..." "a female lead... and on top of that, you don't have anybody to sympathize with." " You don't have a good guy." " The shylock is the good guy." "The shylock is barely mentioned." "It's not believable that the wife would get a settlement that fast." "Harry doesn't realize it's a true story." "That Miami flight that went down was on the news every day for about a week." "Harry must have been busy." " That's where you got the idea?" " Part of it, yeah." "You're not the guy, are you..." "the dry cleaner?" "Leo." "You wouldn't be talking to me if you were." "No, I'm not the guy, Harry." "But you do work for the casino?" "Oh, for God's sakes, Harry!" "He's the shylock." "That right?" "That's what you do for a living?" "That's what I did for a living until recently." "But after I'm done here, I don't know what I'm gonna do next." "Well, I got an early call." "No problemo, babe." "Go on up to bed." "What I'm saying, Harry, is that I would like you and your new buddy to get out of my house." "Oh, yeah, well, sure." "It was absolutely a pleasure to meet you, Karen." "I guess in your line of work, there's times you have to get kinda rough, huh?" "You know, in case one of your customers don't pay?" " They always pay." " Yeah?" "You pack a gun?" "Not really." "You ever been arrested?" "Well, I've been picked up for loan sharking and racketeering, but never convicted, no." "I'm clean, Harry." "Racketeering." "That covers a lot of ground doesn't it?" "Get to the point, Harry." "You want me to do something for you." "That's us." "Good girl." "Don't say nothing to me." "Just sit down and act like you're waiting for somebody that's supposed to meet you." "What the fuck you talkin' about?" "Don't nobody know me here." " Give me the fuckin' money." " Sit down." "Now, be looking." "The man over to your right in the blue wool shirt, hanging out..." "The other way." "Derecho." "That's a federal officer..." "most likely D.E.A." "He moves his leg, you look for the bulge." "You savvy bulge?" "Good." "That's his backup piece." "Hey, try it without looking right at him if you can." " What's your name?" " Yayo Portillo." "All right, Yayo, you know he's there." "Just forget about him." "I'm gonna get up." "Soon as I'm gone, you sit down in this same seat I'm in." "You'll feel something under your ass." "That's a key to a locker where your half million is, along with some product we're returning." "Powder's been stepped on so many times, it's baby food." "You're supposed to give me the money yourself." "Try to be cool, Yahoo." "I told you where it is." "You do it just how I told you, and you have a safe trip home." "What'd you have for breakfast, baby?" "What'd you have for breakfast?" "How come you weigh so much?" "You have a burrito?" "Give it to the nice lady." "There you go." "Sorry." "Getting chocolate all over you." "Say thank you." "Bye-bye." "Hi." "Like fucking clockwork, huh, Bear?" "Hi, Bo." "Hey, Farrah." "You ready to go for a ride, sweetie?" "Yeah." "Told you to watch your mouth around my daughter." "The white zone is for loading and unloading only." "These guys, my investors, they run a limo service." "They came to me originally, put some money in a few of my pictures." "Did okay." "They're happy." "This was back a few months ago when I was planning what would be my next picture, about this band of killer circus freaks that travel around the country leaving bodies in their wake." "There's a 700-pound fat lady has a way of seducing guys..." "gets them in her trailer." "Harry, look at me." "You're trying to tell me that you fucked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do." "Let's talk about where you're at, okay?" "You blew 200 grand of these limo guys' money on a football game in Vegas, and you didn't tell them." "Now, why?" "They don't seem like the type of guys that would take it with any understanding or restraint." "First thing they'd do is break my legs." "You got that on the brain, but if you were so scared, why did you take it to Vegas to begin with?" "I needed a half million dollars to buy a script." " A movie script?" " Blockbuster, but quality." "No mutants or maniacs." "This is gonna be my Driving Miss Daisy." "Murray Saffrin, the guy that wrote it..." "did all my Grotesque pictures... had it in his drawer for 20 years." "He shows it to me one day, and he says he's got a major star interested, would I produce it?" "Which star?" "Two-time Academy-award nominee Martin Weir." "That's Martin Weir." "He's the one that played the mob guy turned snitch in Cyclone." "One of his best parts." "His best part was when he played the crippled gay guy that climbed Mount Whitney." "Ride the Clouds." "Good picture." "That woman..." "she looks familiar." "She's a rock star." "Every day, same time, they come down here and have breakfast." "He faces west so he can see his billboard." "She faces east as an excuse to wear her shades." "Unbelievable." "Anyway, Murray has a shrink who happens to be Martin's personal trainer's shrink." "Murray gives the shrink the script." "The shrink gives it to Martin's trainer, who reads it to Martin as they work out." " Martin loves it." "He flips." " So, what's the problem?" "The problem is Murray." "Heart attack." "Doris, Murray's widow, she finds out about this Martin Weir thing, and because Murray and I never had a written contract, she wants half a million bucks for the script." "You want me to put you next to my dry cleaner so he can invest in your movie." "That, or I was thinking, what if some tragic accident were to befall the widow Saffrin?" "No, Harry, I'm not gonna pop her, okay?" "It was just a thought." "I tell you what I can do." "I can meet with these limo guys, tell them to leave you alone for a while, make the point in a way they can understand." "You don't know these guys." "Believe me, I know them a whole lot better than you do." "I once asked this literary agent what kind of writing paid the best." "He said ransom notes." "Ransom notes." "Here it is..." "Mr. Lovejoy." ""Lovejoy sits behind the wheel, watching a bar across the street, getting his video camera..." What, is he following someone?" "Read it." "It's a grabber." "Harry, I think your investors are here." " Oh, Jesus." " All right, this is the plan." "I want the limo guys to sit in these chairs, not on the couch." "You got that?" "Yeah." "No." "Keep the blinds open." "I want the light in their eyes." "I'm gonna sit at the desk." "I don't want you to introduce me." "Just start talking." "I want you to stand here behind them as they sit down, you understand?" "They'll be looking at you, but they don't know who you are." "They'll be saying, "Who is this guy?"" "But you don't say anything." "Do not tell them who I am, okay?" " I gotta say something to them." " No, you don't." "Don't say any more than you have to, unless you want to say something like," ""Glad you assholes stopped by." "Now I can straighten you out."" "You're kidding, right?" "Just say the movie's been postponed a year, but don't tell them why." "Whatever you do, don't say anything about Mr. Lovejoy, you got that?" "All right." "Let's go." " Hey, Ronnie." " Hey, Harry." "Hi." "Wow!" "What year is it, man?" "We enter a time warp?" "I feel like I'm in Hollywood of yesteryear." " Have a seat right there." " Cool." "This is my associate Chili Palmer." "He's gonna be working with me." "Just so there's no misunderstanding, despite the rumors you might have heard, your investment in Freaks is just as solid as the day you signed your participation agreement." "I can hear you, man, but where the fuck are you?" "Right here." "What I've been wondering is, where's he been?" "Yeah." "Where you been, Harry?" "We haven't heard from you lately." "New York." "I was interviewing actors, scouting locations." "The main thing is that Freaks is gonna be put off for a couple of months." " A couple of months?" " Yeah." "Just a couple of months." "We need more... prep." "Hey, Harry, bullshit, man." "We have an agreement with you." "No, no, we're gonna do this picture." "We are going to do this picture." "I just have another project to do first, one I've promised this guy for years." "I want to see your books, Harry." "Just show me where it is... a two with five zeros after it in black and white." "I want to see your books, I want to see your fuckin' bank statements..." "Hey, Ronnie, look at me." "You have a piece of a movie, that's all." "Not a piece of Harry." "If he wants to do another movie this year, that's how it's gonna be." "Excuse me, bro, but who the fuck are you?" "I'm the one telling you how it is." "Catlett." "What is this other movie you're doing first, Harry?" " Let me show..." " Harry, let me answer this one." "First of all, who am I talking to... am I talking to him or am I talking to you?" "You can talk to me." "That's what I thought." "Let me put it this way." "Outside of Freaks, it's none of your fuckin' business what we do." "Oh!" "Here it is right here." "This is the project..." "Mr. Lovejoy." "I don't want you guys to think that I'm trying to put something over on you." "Mr. Loveboy..." "what is it, Harry... a porno flick?" "It's fluff." "You wouldn't be interested in it." "You think we go to see your movies?" "I've seen better film on teeth." "It makes no difference to me which one our money's in, so how about you just take our 20 points out of Freaks and put 'em in this other one, this Mr. Loverboy." "No." "I can't do that." "You're positive about that?" "Yeah." "It's a different kind of deal." "It's... structured." "Okay." "Then be good enough to hand us our money back, or you think about us coming in on this new deal." "You let us know." "By Friday, man, or you're fuckin' dead as disco." "You hear me?" "Take your time, Harry." "We're not animals, are we, Ronnie?" "What?" "What?" "Maybe I wasn't clear, but I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut." "I had to tell them something." "Harry, never say anything unless you have to." "You asked me to get these guys off your back, and the next thing I know, you're saying, "Have a piece of Mr. Lovejoy."" "I couldn't believe my fuckin' ears." "I told them that I would think about it." "In this town, what does that mean?" "Nothing." "Well, that's the difference between you and me, Harry." "I say what I mean." "If I want something from someone, I ask them straight out." "If I want Martin Weir, I go get Martin Weir." "I don't fuck around with his trainer's shrink." "Shrink's trainer." "Take me back to my car." " Yeah?" " Tommo, Chili." "Hey, where you been?" "I been calling all over for you." "Ray Bones is looking for you." "Where the hell are you?" " I'm in L.A. Now." " What are you doing out there?" "I'm going into the movie business." "I'm thinking about producing." "What the fuck do you know about making movies?" "I don't think the producer has to know much." "I think you're full of shit or a chump." "I gotta go." "Call me when you know more about Ray Bones." "Karen, how you doing?" "What are you doing here?" "Listen, I wanted to come by and apologize for breaking in the way I did last night." "Let me get this straight." "You broke in again to apologize for breaking in before?" "No, no." "Your patio door was open." "You shouldn't do that." "You got a lot of nice things in this house." "Well, make sure you lock it on the way out." "You had a bad day, huh?" "I spent all day crawling out of a grave." "The director said I was incapable of reaching the emotional core of the character." "What?" "Obviously, he didn't see you in Bride of the Mutant." "You saw that one?" "When you turn to the camera and you say to the alien mother that her time on Earth is finished," "Joan Crawford on her best day wished that she had had in her day, the emotion, the intensity that you had in that scene." "Well, that was a good scene..." "I mean, for a horror movie." "No, for any movie." "I know I'm better than what I've been doing all these years, walking around in fuck-me pumps and a tank top, waiting till it was time to scream." " Yeah, but what a scream." " Yeah, it's a real gift." "Look, all I'm sayin' is, it would be nice to get the chance to say one great line, like in that great Bette Davis movie Cabin in the Cotton, where she walks up to the guy on the porch," "gives him a flirty look, and says, "I'd kiss you, but I just washed my hair."" "Great line." "How come you don't do movies with Harry anymore?" "'Cause I married the great Martin Weir." "He was a full-time job." "Have you read Harry's new script?" "No." "He says it's the best thing he's ever read." "He must mean after Slime Creatures III." "Was that why Harry came over last night... to ask you to help him put Martin in a movie?" "Harry's dreaming of a $40 million production he'll never get off the ground with a star he'll never sign with or without my help." " He said Martin flipped over it." " Martin's known for his flipping." "He flips over a script, then when it comes time to make a deal, he flips out." "Why don't I go over to Harry's office and pick you up a copy of the script, and you can read it yourself, see what you think?" " Don't go out of your way." " No, no." "It's nothing." "I better go have a talk with Leo, my runaway dry cleaner." "Right." "See how your story ends." "You know, that movie Touch of Evil is playing near my hotel." "We could go check it out if you want, go watch Charlton Heston be a Mexican." "That's all right." "Another time." "See ya around." "See ya." "Hi." "My name is Ray." "I'm a friend of Chili Palmer's." "Have you spoken with Mr. Palmer since your husband blew up?" "Oh, uh... once or twice." "And what was it you talked about?" " Nothing really." "This and that." " This and that?" "I want us to be friends, I really do, and we all know that friends don't hit each other... unless they have to." "So what do you say we start all over again, and you tell me exactly what the fuck is goin' on." "Huh?" "Okay?" "Good evening, sir." "And a very good evening to you, too, sir." "Thank you." "Leo, look at me." "I'd have never thought you'd be so dumb, leaving over 300 grand in the closet under an extra blanket, but I guess you are." "I didn't know where else to keep it." "Where would you?" " How about a bank?" " No." "They'd report it to the IRS." "You don't open an account." "You put it in a safe deposit box, you dip in it whenever you want." " How did you know that I was here?" " I'll give you another tip." "Next time you write to your wife, don't use hotel stationery." "It was Fay, wasn't it, told you about the money?" "What, she tell you my whole life history, for Christ sake?" "Leo, I'm here to save your ass." "How?" "By taking my money?" "No." "You get to keep the money that you won today." "That's yours." "It's all mine." "Leo, sit down." "I don't know how you got this far, you're so fuckin' dumb, but you're through, and I'm gonna explain why." "I hope you're not so dumb that you won't understand." "Ray Bones is the man that you're dealin' with now, and when Bones finds out what you did, he's gonna take everything, including the sporty little hat you got on your head, and then most likely he'll shoot you so you won't tell on him." "Now, I'm not gonna do that." "I'm not gonna hurt you." "Now, you've got $310,000 in the bag here." "I'm gonna take the 300 you scammed from the airlines, and the ten that's left over, I'm gonna borrow from you and pay back at another time." "Wait." "You take all my money, but you're borrowing part of it?" "At 18%." "Now, don't ask another fuckin' question." "I'm leaving now." "But you won't know where I am." "I mean, I don't even know where I'll be." "I'll find you, Leo." "You leave a trail like a fuckin' caterpillar." "Hey." "Hey, wait a minute." "What's this 18% a year shit?" "You want to borrow 10, the vig is three bills a week." "That's 15 for the vig plus the 10." "That's 25 big ones, you go the whole year, buddy." "Hey, you hear me?" "This is good, this Mr. Lovejoy." "It needs a better ending, but, yes, I can see why Harry wants to do it." "You understand, I knew Harry was lying, saying this wasn't any good but holding on to it like, man, you'd have to break his fingers to get it away from him." "That's funny, because I was thinking," "What am I gonna have to break of yours to get it away from you?" "Now, I'm explaining to you what I'm doing here, in case you thought I came to rob the place or rip off any of this dusty old shit that the man has." "I wouldn't make you out to be a burglar." "Not in that outfit." "Harry called you his associate." "What does that mean?" "I never heard your name or read it in The Hollywood Reporter or Variety or anyplace." "Just what he said." "I'm his associate." "You must bring something heavy to the deal." "I do." "Me." "It says here you're getting Martin Weir for the part of Lovejoy?" " That's right." "We're getting Martin." " Come on." "How you gonna do that?" "I'm gonna take a gun, I'm gonna put it to his head, and I'm gonna say, "Sign the fuckin' papers, Martin, or you're dead." That's it." "I wonder... would that work?" "You know who I see for the part of Al Roxy?" "Harvey Keitel." "Man could play it in his sleep." "He was pretty good in that movie Fingers." "Missed that one." "You know who else?" "Morgan Freeman." "You know Morgan's work?" "Morgan Freeman." "He's a colored guy, though." "So what?" "Where does it say in the script the man's got to be white?" "Color's what the part needs, man." "You need somebody to do it with some style." "What do you think of the script?" "The first thing that's gotta go is the title." "This writer's name, Murray Saffrin, would be better than Lovejoy." "I'm with you on that one." "You know what I'm thinking?" "Why don't you and I, we sit down, we write the script over where it needs it." "You could write one of these?" "There's nothing to it." "All you do, you get an idea, you set down what you want to say on paper, then hire somebody else to fill in the commas and shit where they belong if you're not positive yourself." "Maybe fix up the spelling where you have some tricky words... although I've seen some scripts," "I know the words weren't spelled right, there was hardly any commas in it at all!" "So I don't think that's too important." "All right, you get to the end." "You write in "fade out." You're done." " That's it." " That's all there is to it?" "Then what the fuck do I need you for?" "Because I'm offering my services on this one, man." "I'll tell you what." "If I need a ride sometime, I'll let you know." "How could you arrest me here?" "This is my country." "This is where you're gonna die." "That wasn't no misfire." "That was just to turn you around." "I don't wanna shoot you in the back." "Unless you'd rather..." "try to run for it." "Schwartz, is she there?" "Did you bring my wife?" "She's in the car." "They've got it all on tape." " You sure you got enough?" " Go play it back." "You'll see." " How many did you frame?" " You better give me that gun." "Okay, here it is." ""That's the second bullet I stopped for you."" "You're goin' down, Orson." "Isn't somebody going to come and take him away?" "Yeah, in just a few minutes." "You really liked him, didn't you?" ""The cop did."" " The one who killed him." " "He loved him."" "Hank was a great detective, all right." ""But a lousy cop."" "Is that all you have to say for him?" "He was some kind of a man." "What does it matter what you say about people?" "Good-bye, Tana." "Adios." "Wow, huh?" "You been here the whole time?" "No." "I just caught the end." "You know, Welles didn't even want to do this movie." "He had some studio contract he couldn't get out of, but sometimes you do your best work when you got a gun to your head." "Yeah." "I brought you a copy of the script." "I already read it." "Harry left a copy at the house." " How did you like it?" " It's not horrible." "I don't like the title and I don't like some of the characters in it." " So you read it." " I haven't read it, but I will." " You and Harry'll make a great team." " Is that right?" "Listen, I'm gonna make a deal with him." "Oh, good, you found a character you like for yourself?" "No." "I don't want to act in it, I want to produce it, especially if I help him get Martin." "Hey, that's fair, huh?" "Yeah." "So, what do you get out of it?" "Is that why you come down here, to ask me that?" "I want to know." "Why would anyone want to be in the movies?" "Yesterday you were a loan shark." "Yeah, but I was never that into it, especially this bullshit about having respect." "Forget about it." "It's bad enough treating these guys like they're your heroes, smiling at stupid comments they think are so funny." "You think the movie business is any different?" "Yeah, but I like movies, and I figure if I help Harry make a movie, I'll find out what to do outside of raising money and having an idea." "That doesn't sound so hard." "I mean, I was in on the money business, and I have a lot of ideas floating' around in my head." "Listen, I'm gonna talk to Martin tomorrow morning." "I told Harry that I'd meet you and him at the Abiquiu restaurant afterwards." "This just might work out." " You never know." " Just might." "Adios." "I spent eight hours at the airport looking at people's bulges." "I don't like that." "This is not the way we do business." "You two do not know who you are messing with." "Listen to me." "I don't want no fucking key, okay?" "I want the money." "You gonna smoke, you get the hell off my $70-a-yard carpet." "Now, I told you where the money is." "All you got to do is go and get it." "No." "I tell you something." "I go to that airport, and I open that locker and they bust me," "I tell them I come to get something for you." " That's all I know." " That's all you know, huh?" " That's all I know." " Wait here." "I'll be back directly." "Keep an eye on Yahoo for me." "That's the way you get things done." "What the fuck you gonna do with that?" "I'm taking you out, Yahoo." "You see that... the way the man just went right over?" "Maybe we could get Chili Palmer up here." "You could fix my railing to give way like they do in the movies." "I invite the man up here to have a look at my view, get him to lean over the railing..." "That's the dumbest idea I ever heard." "Here's the thing, Bear." "I want to produce movies." "What's the point of living in L.A. Unless you're in the movie business?" "And I mean high up in it." "That's the reason why Harry's gonna produce this Mr. Lovejoy with me, not Chili Palmer." "I can't believe this map is accurate." "I bought it for ten bucks from a kid sitting on a lawn chair on Sunset." "You were supposed to meet me at the restaurant." "I know, but look at this..." "it says, "Martin Weir's house, across the street from George Hamilton."" "That must be George..." "Nicole?" "Jesus, it is you!" "It's Nicki now." "I don't believe this!" " I know her." " Hi, Nicki." "Karen, shit, I didn't see you there." "How are you?" "Come in, baby." "You got to come in." "You gotta meet Martin." "Where have you been?" "What have you been doing?" "Chili was the only one at Momo's didn't try to hit on me." "Oh, what a gentleman." " Do you like my hair?" "Black?" " Oh, nice." "Especially under the arms." "Martin won't let me shave." "Guess I fill some need... takes him back to the '60s or something." "Speak of the devil." " Karen, look at you." " Hi, Martin." "You smell so good." "She always smells so good." " Neat." "Martin, this is Chili Palmer." " Chili, is it?" "Nice to meet you, Martin." "Chili's a gangster..." "ran a club I used to play at for another gangster back in Miami." "How is Momo these days anyway?" " Dead." " Bummer." "I'll let you get to your movie talk." "Chili, do not leave without saying good-bye to me." "So?" "You know how beautiful you are?" "You really are beautiful." "I'm sitting here." "I'm looking at you and having flashbacks of memories of us." "Really?" "Yeah, and I'm wondering..." "how did it go wrong?" "How did it all slip away?" "It didn't slip away, Martin." "You did when you went off to fuck Nicki at my birthday party." "Yeah." "That was a good party." "Marty, you were so good in that movie The Cyclone." "Martin." "Yeah." "It was a beautiful role." "All I had to do was find the character's center... the stem I used to wind him up..." "and he'd play, man." "He'd just play." "You had that down cold." "If I didn't know better," "I'd have thought you was a made guy." " Thank you." " I mean, no acting there, right?" "And the fink part." "Oh, man." "Jesus Christ." "I never met a fink, and I hope to God I never do, but the way you played a fink, that's how it's gotta be, right?" "Yeah, yeah." "Two weeks before we started shooting," "I went back to Bensonhurst just to hear you guys talk." "See, I'm Italian, but I grew up in Tarzana, so I wanted to get the rhythms of your speech, you know." "Oh, we speak differently?" "Well, it's more like your attitude, your tone." "Your speech patterns demonstrate a certain confidence in yourselves, in your opinions, your indifference to conventional views." "You know, it's like..." " Like we don't give a shit." " Yeah, kind of." "Yeah." "Anyway, once I get the authentic sounds of speech, the rhythms, the patois, you know," "I can actually get into their heads." "I can actually think the way those guys do." "Get inside." " Really?" " Yeah." "I'm one of those guys." "What am I thinking?" "Well, don't get me wrong." "An actual metamorphosis doesn't take place." "That wouldn't be acting." "So you don't know what I'm thinking?" "No, I don't, but I have to say I'm curious." "So you want to know what I'm thinking?" " Yeah, if you want to tell me." " I'm thinking about a movie." "One of mine?" "No, one that we're producing." "With what, wise-guy money?" "Hmm?" "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." "No." "Look, Martin, I'm not connected to that anymore... not since I left that loan-sharking operation in Miami." "What's the matter..." "pressure got too much for you?" "Pressure?" "I'm the one who applied the pressure." "Oh, yeah?" "Now, Martin, can I ask you a question?" "You're an actor." "Actors like to pretend, right?" "We've been known to make believe." "Pretend this." "You're a shylock." "A guy owes you 15 grand." "He skips town." "He takes off." "What do you do?" "Oh, Martin, for Christ sake." "Just... you know..." "I'm doing Shylock instead of a shylock." "Right." "All right, what's my motivation?" "The acquisition of money." "To collect." "To inflict pain if I have to." "Guy splits with 15 large of my money, I go after him!" "What the hell you think I'd do?" " Martin, look at me." " I am looking at you." "No, look at me the way I'm looking at you." "Put it in your eyes." ""You're mine, asshole," without saying it." "Okay." "How about this?" "What are you telling me, that you're sleepy?" "That you want to go to bed?" "All right." "Wait, wait." "Okay." "Now you're squinting like you need glasses." "Well, what do you..." "what do you..." " Look at me." " What?" "What I'm thinking is, "You're mine." "I fuckin' own you."" "But what I'm not doing is feeling one way or another about it." "You see, you're not a person to me." "You're an entry in my book, that's all." "You're just a guy who owes me money." "All right." "How about this?" "Ooh." "Wow." "Not bad, not bad." " No wonder you're Martin Weir." " Oh, yeah." "That's what I think of you, asshole." "Nothin'." "I believe it." "I believe it." "So I turn this on when I confront the guy?" "You haven't found him yet, because he split for Las Vegas." " How do I know that?" " Because his wife told you." "Oh, his wife told me." "Okay." " Harry, how you doing?" " Bo, hi." "Great." "I'm expecting some people." "You must be doing some big deals, doing lunch in a place like this." "Yeah, I'm working on a few things." "I hear you bagged Martin Weir for Mr. Lovejoy." "This town." "Boy, word gets around, doesn't it?" "Chili Palmer told me... last night, when he called me over to your office to talk about it." "Chili Palmer showed you my script?" "Yeah." "I was wondering why he would do that." "So the wife sues the airline." "This is some gutsy babe." "Good-looking, too..." "like Karen." "So when do I meet up with the husband and give him the look?" "That's not so simple." "There's a mob guy." "Real hard-on." "You owe him money." "And he's after you, wants to take you out because you broke his nose and shot him." "Right, right." "Go ahead." "Keep going." "Well, at this point, basically that's gotta be it." "You mean that's all you're gonna tell me?" "Actually, Martin, the reason we came by was to talk about Mr. Lovejoy." "We understand that you read the script, that you loved it, you flipped." "Refresh my memory." "Listen, Harry, how'd you like to get your hands on $500,000?" "You pay me back at your convenience with no interest." "Are you serious?" "All I want in return is to work on this movie with you." "In fact, I've already got some strong ideas on how to fix it up." "Gentlemen, can I get you anything else?" "Let's get another one for Mr. Zimm." "Double." "You're just gonna give me this 500 grand?" "We'll talk about that, Harry, but first I gotta know... how'd you hook up with this Chili Palmer?" "Yeah, Mr. Lovejoy, it was good." "I'll call Buddy and set up a meeting." " All right." "Who's Buddy?" " Lufkin, his agent." "Karen knows him." " But you are interested?" " Yeah, I'm intrigued." "It might help you if you take another look at The Cyclone... the way a visual fabric is maintained while the metaphor plays on different levels." "Hey, Chili, is this your ride?" "Yeah." "I like to sit up high, check everything out." "I mean, it is the Cadillac of minivans." "Yeah." "Check this out." "Wow." "You mind if I take it for a spin?" "He was watching Letterman, huh?" "Sneaky, that Chili Palmer." "So, did he ever find that dry cleaner, the one with all that money on him?" "Leo?" "I don't know." "I bet he did, but he ain't giving you one penny of it to help you out..." "not the way I am." "Assuming I go along with this, when could I have the 500 grand?" "Whenever you want." "The money's in one of those jock bags in $100 bills out at the airport, just waiting in a locker to be picked up." "At the airport, huh?" "It was waiting out there on a deal that didn't go through, Harry, one that you don't want to know about." "I don't know." "L..." "All right, it's not the kind of thing you do." "So I'm thinking, why not send your boy Chili Palmer?" "If he gets busted, hit on the head, you aren't out a thing, Harry." "C-18." "Magic number." "I don't think so." "I'm positive." "It was Susan Hayward." "No, no." "It was Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford..." "Excuse me, Harry." "Wait here." "I'd like you to meet my associate Bear... movie stuntman, champion weight lifter, as you might have noticed." "Throws things out I don't want." "I think you oughtta turn around and go back to Miami." " You're a stuntman?" " Yeah." "You any good?" "Am I any good?" "That's not bad for a guy his size." "I'll make you a deal." "If you can get outta here before I take my coat off," "I won't clean up the floor with you and mess up your pretty little costume." "You don't know me." "You only think you do." "That guy is a stuntman." "Yeah." "He was in Creatures II." "Rough business, this movie business." "I may have to go back to loan-sharking just to take a rest." "Harry, what are you still doing with those guys?" "He happens to be loaning me $500,000... no strings." "I can write any kind of agreement I want." "Cash or check?" "Cash, and it happens to be sitting at the airport in a locker at this moment." "A locker at the airport?" "Harry, Jesus Christ, tell me you're not really that stupid." "You're being set up, Harry." "You pulled him out of that Freaks deal." "Now he's paying you back." "Is that right?" "He's setting me up?" "Why is it that Catlett said I should send you to the airport to pick it up, since you haven't done a fucking thing for me since you got involved in this except show Bo Catlett my script?" "You're right, Harry, you're not the one being set up." "At least Bo has invested in three of my movies." "Harry, we spoke with Martin." " We?" " Chili and me." "Really?" "He asked us to call Buddy, set up a meeting." "A meeting... you and Karen?" "Guy's been in town two days, and already he thinks he's David O. Fuckin' Selznick." "Okay, Mr. O. Selznick, should I make my deal with Bo, or are you finally gonna help me out and have a talk with your dry cleaner if you find him?" "I found him, but forget about Leo's money, Harry." "Do you have it?" "If I gave you Leo's money, you'd have Ray Bones all over your ass, and that's a whole new kind of trouble." "Who?" "Ray Barboni... he lives in Miami." "He owns Leo now that Momo's dead." "Who the fuck is Momo?" "Jesus Christ!" "Where do you get these names?" "I'll tell you what I'll do for you, Harry." "I'll go out to the airport tomorrow morning when it's crowded." "I'll check it out." "If there's no problem, I'll get you your money." "But I wouldn't get my hopes up, Harry." "Maybe I should call this Ray Barboni character and see if he wants to invest in my movie." "Don't waste your time, Harry." "He's not a movie fan." "Now, come on, give me the key." "Oh, Harry." "You tell him he's gotta be outta there by five in the morning." "Because the actor will only work one night, that's why." "I gotta go." "Yeah." "Coming." " Who is it?" " Me." " Oh, fuck!" " I heard that." "Hello, Doris." "Harry Zimm, you look like a wet kiss." "Well, aren't you gonna offer me whatever it is you taste like?" "Come in, Doris." "My favorite color... putty." "Yeah, I like it." "What do you want, Doris?" " I miss Murray, Harry." " Yeah, I miss him, too." "A hell of a good writer, you know." "I should know." "I discovered him." "Made him what he was." "What he was was a hack." "He couldn't get a job writing for anybody but you." "I'm being honest." "He was a lousy writer, but he was a good husband." "I just didn't know until it was too late." "Yeah, well, 20/20 hindsight and all that." "You know what they say." "I hate being alone." "The house is so quiet, so lonely." "It needs... a man's touch." "Nice necklace, Doris." "I don't know how I feel about this." "You seem to feel fine about it." "I mean morally." "You know, Murray was a friend." "Murray's dead." "Does this mean that you're gonna reconsider our deal on Mr. Lovejoy?" "No, but now that you mention it," "I did talk to a gorgeous young executive over at Paramount the other day who just happened to get his hands on the script." "What did he say?" "He said if Martin's interested, I can get half a million for it, easy." "Oh, don't worry, Harry." " I'm still gonna give you till Friday." " How honorable of you." "You want me to go?" "Just say so." "What the hell." "Fuck!" "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" " What?" " Ray Barboni?" "Who is this?" "Is this the guy they call Ray Bones?" " It depends." "Who is this?" " Who is this?" "This is the one telling you the way it is." "Okay, asshole?" "Now, you want your 300 grand or don't you?" "What 300 grand are you talking about?" "The 300 grand a guy named Leo Devoe scammed off an airline." "The 300 grand that Chili Palmer now has in his possession." "Hello?" "Are you there?" "Yeah, yeah, I'm here." "I just don't like this anonymous crap." "It means you're either a big chickenshit, or you're not for real." "Trust me, I am very for real." "Okay, then, so who are you?" "I happen to work for Harry Zimm, all right?" "Who?" "Harry Zimm." "The man happens to be a major Hollywood player." "I never heard of him." "Maybe that's because you've never been out of fuckin' Miami, dipshit." "Maybe you oughtta get on a plane, come out to L.A., take a meeting with Mr. Zimm." "Okay, so this Zimm guy... what is he asking for, a finder's fee or something?" "Is that what we're talking about here?" "Hey, Zimm don't ask for dick." "Zimm tells you the way it is..." "or else." "Or else what?" "Or else use your fuckin' imagination!" "Excuse me." "I was wondering if you could help me out." "I got a gift in here for my wife." "It's a surprise." "I was wondering if you could put this in locker C-17 for me." "Ten bucks." "Take you two minutes." "Yeah, okay." "You'll need some of this." "You gotta make it quick, though." "She's in the john." "C-17." "Good man." "Excuse me!" "Let's go, boys." "Excuse me, sir." "Agent Curtis, Drug Enforcement." "These are Agents Dunbar and Morgan." " Would you come with us, please?" " Jesus Christ, what's going on?" "Let's just follow him and behave ourselves, what do you say?" "Mr. Barbone?" "Welcome to LA." "I'm Bobby, your driver." "Did you have a good flight?" "I hope you drive better than you fuckin' spell, jack-off." "The name is Barboni, not Barbone, okay?" "You want to go to the hotel first, Mr. Escobar?" "I want to get my fuckin' money." " You live in Miami?" " That's right." " What are you doing in Los Angeles?" " I'm in the movie business." " You're an investor, is that it?" " No, I'm a producer." " You have a card in this?" " Not yet." "I just got started." "I'd appreciate you telling me what this is about." "I got a John Doe warrant says I can strip-search you." "Pat him down." "Put your hands on the wall." "Spread your legs." "What are you doing at the airport?" "I was supposed to pick up my wife here, but she wasn't on the plane." "Why, if you live in Miami, is your wife coming in from Newark?" "We had a fight, and she left me, went back to Brooklyn, so I called her and I said, "Why don't you come out west?" "Maybe a change of scenery will get us back together again."" "She said okay, but evidently, she changed her mind." " Your wife a Lakers fan?" " I am." "I'm a fan of everything that's L.A." "I love it out here." "He's clean." "You can go." "What are you guys looking for, anyway?" "A bomb or something?" "What is it?" "Something that shouldn't be there." "Is that right?" "Why don't you get an attendant to open up the lockers and look in?" "Maybe you'll find it." "That's an idea." "I'll think about it." "Yeah, I'd do that." "Then I'd get the right guy next time." "Mr. Barbone, you ever want to go to the beach, here's the freeway you take that we're on." "Of course, on the weekend, there's no traffic." "I'm from Miami fuckin' Beach, and you want to show me the ocean?" "And what about the sun?" "Does that ever shine in this town, or is this smog around all the time?" "They say the smog's the reason we have such beautiful sunsets." "That's what they say, huh?" "What a bunch of fuckin' bullshit." "I don't know how I could have missed you in that shirt." "It's the same as the other one, except a different-colored hibiscus, is that right?" " You didn't have the key on you?" " You think I'd be standing here?" "If you're gonna set someone up and you want it to work, it's gotta be a surprise." "Can you remember that?" "Spotted 'em, huh?" "Did you see it work in some movie that you got beat up in?" "Got to ask you for that key back." "Hey, wait a minute." "The setup didn't work, and you want the key back?" "Bo said if you didn't open the locker, the deal's off." "You're serious?" "This is how you guys do business?" "I'm surprised you're not dead." "There's no fuckin' way you're gonna get that key, okay, unless you put a gun to my head, and then maybe we'll talk." "Now, move away from the fuckin' car." "I don't need a gun for you." "All right, all right." "Slow down." "Breathe through your mouth." "Slow." "Breathe." "Bear, look at me." "You tell your boss I don't want to see him again." "He made a deal with Harry, and a deal's a deal." "You got that?" "Okay, get up." "What are you hanging around a guy like that for, anyway?" "You were in the movies." "You were a stuntman, right?" "What's he ever done that he can talk about?" " You okay?" " Not too bad." "How about when you fell down the stairs?" "Pulled my quadriceps." "So how many movies you been in?" "About 60." " No shit?" " No shit." "What were some of them?" "You didn't see none of 'em." " What were some of 'em?" " You wouldn't know any names." "Who is it?" "I'm the dipshit who's never been out of Miami." "Well, Mr. Barboni, what a nice surprise." "Good to see you." "Have a seat." "Right here, right here." "Ray..." "Ray Bones." "Barbone." "Sorry." "Oh, yes." "Uh..." "They say the fuckin' smog is the fuckin' reason you have such beautiful fuckin' sunsets." "Yeah." "What do you mean, he faked them out?" "He knew it was a setup and he was ready for it." " So where's the money?" " I guess it's still in the locker." "You guess." "You mean you don't know?" "I mean I don't care, Bo." "I really don't care." "Bear, I'm gonna call you later." "Mr. Escobar, what a surprise." "Welcome to L.A." "Where's my nephew?" "Your who?" "Yayo!" "Where is he?" "I haven't seen Yayo." "He's my sister's kid..." "no father, not too bright." "Personally, I think he's a retard." "I only gave him the job as a favor to my sister, you understand." "Oh, sure." "Family." "I know how that goes." "He comes up here with our product." "He's supposed to come back home with the $500,000." "He never shows up." "Meanwhile, my sister's going crazy." "She's calling me all the time." "She's worried." "Me, I just want to know what happened to my fucking money." "I don't know." "I gave the man his money." "I sent him on his way." "You gave him the money?" "I gave him the key to a locker that had the money in it." "Why would you do that..." "put the money in a locker?" "Because there were a zillion DEA guys hanging around the terminal." "A zillion?" "That's a lot, huh?" "Mr. Escobar, maybe your nephew panicked and took off." "Why are you talking to me this bullshit?" "I think maybe I have Ramon and Cesar staple your tongue to your chin!" "What do you think?" "I think you speak very good English, Mr. Escobar." "We're gonna spend the weekend at the Universal Sheraton." "Take the tour." "See the shark." "Check out that Miami Vice Action Spectacular." "Oh, nice." "Yeah." "After, we're gonna come back here, get my money." "Oh, yeah." "And Yayo, too." "His fuckin' nephew?" "When you get to town, you go straight to the bank, you raid the limo account." "Hey, bro, I'm in town." "It don't matter." "We got dick in the bank." "We dumped it all into Harry's movie." "I'm talking about you, Ray Barboni, owning a piece of a major motion picture." "How much of a piece is entirely up to you." "What I'm saying is, you could invest part of the 300 grand that Palmer owes you, or all of it." "It's entirely up to you." "Where's Chili Palmer?" "Where's Leo Devoe?" "Where's my fuckin' money?" "Ray..." "look at me." "What?" "Look at me, Ray." "Did you just say look at you?" " Look at me, Ray." " I'll tell you what, Harry." "Why don't you take a fuckin' look at this?" "And have a peek at this." "You know, Harry, this... is the exact fuckin' thing I needed... a little fuckin' exercise... after that long fuckin' plane ride." "You got a big problem, Harry." "Well, come on, Harry, don't pass out on me." "Look at me, Harry." "Where's my money?" "Harry, I'm gonna ask you one more time, then I gotta shoot you, you don't tell me what I want to know." " Where's my money?" " Your money?" "Who the fuck are you?" "I'm Ray Barboni from Miami." "What, like that's supposed to mean something to me?" "The man you're standing on there happens to belong to me and my partner." " This piece of shit owes me money." " Get in line." "But I don't like waiting in lines." "Tough shit, bro." "This ain't Miami." "You want something, you gotta talk to me." "No, no, no, no." "Fuck you, fuck ball." "I mean, L.A. Is an open city, and I don't think I have to get permission from nobody for nothing." "Oh, really?" "Well, uh, I just closed it." "You must be what they call one of those quick-draw artists, because of the way you've got your gun stuck way down in your belt like that." "What do you got there, huh?" "A wop 9?" "Fuckin' Fiat of guns." "Always jamming on you at the wrong time." "Don't you puke on my shoes, Harry." "Hey, Harry, I want you to do me a favor." "I want you to take this gun and put a pill in the bro over there." "Now, I know what you're thinking." ""Why the fuck would I shoot him?" "The guy's already dead."" "But you see, Harry, the police, they have these tests, tell you whether or not a guy fired a gun." "And I was never here." "Do you understand that, Harry?" "I was never here." "And if you say I was, I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna throw you right out of that fuckin' window." "All right, knock it off, Harry." "We haven't got a lot of time here." "That's it." "That's it." "Not a worry in the world." "Your pool needs skimming." "Yeah." "That was Martin." "He wants to have lunch tomorrow, if you can make it." " Depends on who's paying." " Definitely not Martin." "Movie stars, they never pick up the check." "They have no idea what things cost." "Of course, most of 'em don't know their phone number and a lot don't even know their zip code." "I don't know." "I just can't get used to the idea that the two of you were together." " You don't like Martin much, do you?" " No, I do." "I do." "I think he's..." "I think he's short." "But, uh..." "I know he's a good actor and everything, but what was it exactly that you saw in him?" "Martin was different then." "He wasn't a movie star." "Anyway, what about your story?" "You thought of a title yet?" "Yeah." "How about Get Shorty?" "How about Chili's Hollywood Adventure?" "I don't know." "That's a different story." "I'm still working on that one." "I'm still getting the visual fabric together." "But I have added to it." " Yeah." "There's a girl in it now." " Really?" "She looks a lot like you." "I think you could be an actor." "I know you're acting sometimes, but you don't show it." "You thought I was fakin'?" "No, not then." "I mean in general." "You don't mean a movie star, though, right?" "You're talking more like a character actor." "Well, whichever." "I could see myself in the parts that Robert DeNiro plays." "Maybe even an Al Pacino movie, you know, playin' a real hard-on." "But I couldn't see myself in them movies where, like, the three guys get left with a baby and they don't know how to take care of it, so they act like grown-up assholes." " Chili, look at me." " I couldn't..." "Leave a message." "Hi, Karen, it's Doris." "Doll, you might want to come by Cedars tonight and visit Harry." "He's in the emergency room." "Let's go." "What can I tell ya?" "I stopped by his office to see if he wanted to take me to Le Dome for dinner when I see Harry and some other man lying on the floor." "Good night, Todd." "'Night, Lewis." " Oh, man." "Jesus." " Harry, my God." "He can't talk..." "he's full of Demerol." "What happened?" "According to Todd..." "Sergeant Randall... a man named Ronnie came by Harry's office to collect on a debt." " He got rough and Harry shot him." " You shot Ronnie?" "Hello, hello." "Okay." "Here we go." "Looks like Mr. Zimm here has a broken jaw and some neck trauma to go with these fractured hands." "Excuse us, folks." "Harry, Martin wanted to meet us for lunch tomorrow at the Ivy, and I'd cancel, but he's going to Cannes next week." "So I really think that maybe Chili and I should still go." "Okay, who wants to take a crack at wiring Mr. Zimm's jaw?" "Son of a bitch." "Son of a bitch!" "Hi, Bo." "Hey, Farrah." "Little honey bunny." "You wipe your feet before you come in here?" " Yeah." " That's my girl." "Keep Uncle Bo's carpet nice and white." "I been calling you." "Where you been?" "See the paper?" "Yeah, I seen it." "I don't believe it." "Says Harry shot Ronnie five times... four through the chest and one through his foot." "His foot." "Jesus." "Poor Ronnie." "Tonight, later on, I got one for you, doesn't involve any heavy work." "I want you to go take a look around Chili Palmer's hotel room." "No, I can't." "I can't." "I gotta take Farrah to her mother's in Costa Mesa, and and that don't matter, 'cause I quit!" "I don't work for you no more." "I just came down here to tell you right to your face so we got no misunderstanding." "Bear, the Colombians are in L.A., all upset about their money." "Now if that ain't enough, it turns out as a bonus that Yo-yo was Escobar's nephew." "That's your problem." "You're the one that shot the guy." "Hey, honey bunny." "Come here, Farrah." "Come here, honey bunny." "Come and see Uncle Bo." "Come on." "Yeah!" "You know how Uncle Bo hates being alone." "In fact, he hates it so much, he takes a fall, he's not gonna fall by himself." "He's gonna plea-deal his way out..." "give up his ace stuntman, now one of the West Coast dope kings... if they go easy on the Cat." "I hear in federal joints, they let you spend an extra five minutes with your daddy on Father's Day." "Just let her go, Bo." "After this one, I'm out." "You understand?" "This is the last time we talk to each other." "You remember Harry's story about the dry cleaner Palmer was after... the one that stole that $300,000 from the airline?" "Yeah, what about him?" "Tonight, you go have a look around Palmer's hotel room while I check out Karen Flores' place." "See if he hasn't stashed it somewhere, and you meet me back here at midnight." "So what kind of food they got at this Ivy place?" "It's Continental, but it doesn't matter." "Martin won't order from the menu anyway." "Why not?" "Because movie stars can never order straight from the menu." "They have to think of something they have to have that isn't on the menu." "Harry, what are you doin' here?" "You're supposed to be in the hospital." "Hey, Harry, you look like you oughtta be in one of your own horror movies." " My project." " What'd he say?" ""My project."" "Mr. Zimm!" "Hey, Harry!" "Attaboy, killer." "Right this way." "You're a celebrity, Harry." "You should have shot someone a long time ago." "Hi." "Excuse me." "How you doing?" "Hello." "Hi." "How you doing?" "Whoa." "Hey, Chili." " Good to see you." " Great to see you." "Oh, Harry." "Oh, my goodness." " Hi, Martin." " Sweet face." "You look great." "You smell good, too." "Thanks." "So, Harry, I hear you had quite an experience." "Well, anyway, I'm glad you're okay." "You know what else?" "I'm really glad that you rejected me 10 years ago when I auditioned for the part of Eddie Solomon, the pedophile clown in Birthday Boy." "If I'd gotten that part, I might have been typecast." "Have you guys ordered?" "Because I really have something after this." "Can we order?" "Excuse me." "Could you..." " Hi." "What's your name?" " Stephanie." "Hi, Stephanie." "I feel like an omelet." "Can you make an egg-white omelet with shallots only slightly browned, very little olive oil, and no salt?" "Bring one for the table." "We'll pick on it." "No." "I know." "How about having those strawberry frappes... you know, the little drinks with the little strawberries in them?" "And bring two straws for Harry." "Anyway, I think the romance angle In your story is critically important." "This shouldn't be just a hop in the sack for either of them." "These two should fall deeply in love." "Which two?" "Later, when their lives are in danger and the mob guy's chasing them, it not only heightens the tension, but it adds a wistful element to their romance." "Mob guy?" "I have to consider, as the mob guy, it's another man's wife I'm sleeping with, so..." " And after all, you have such morals." " Mob guy?" "Look, I have to run, but what I would like to see is that... they begin to have misgivings about wanting the money." "This becomes a moral dilemma for the two of them." "They rationalize taking it, but in the end, they can't." "What money?" "The 300 large." "What other money is there?" "I know I shouldn't be talking about this until I've read the script, but I have such a good feeling about this." "I am that shylock." "Look at me, Harry!" "Not bad." "You're really getting it down." "It scares me how well I know this guy." "I mean, I could do this tomorrow, no further preparation." "Doll face... you really should think about getting back into acting." "We could do something together." " I'll give it some heavy thought." " Okay." "Take care of yourself, Harry." "Enjoy." "Here, let me help you out." "Go ahead." "Suck harder." "Chili, wake up." "Somebody's downstairs." " It's Harry." " How you know?" "He's doin' the same thing you did to him... playin' Letterman on TV." "That's not Dave, that's a movie." " You gonna go down?" " I don't know." " You don't know?" " I know, I'm goin', I'm goin'." " Karen, you got a gun?" " No." "Any kind of gun will do." " No." " No?" "Sounds like Rio Bravo." "Maybe this will help." "Guess I'll take that drink now, Charlie." "I thought you would." "You want that gun?" "Pick it up." "I wish you would." " I need the money." " What money?" "The 300 grand that you got from a little dry cleaner named Leo." "Let me get this straight." "You break into Karen Flores' house and you ask for 300 grand that doesn't belong to you?" "Just give me the money, I'll be on my way." "I can't believe how you guys do business out here." "I can't believe how fucked up your organization is." "I'll tell you what..." "how about I count to three and I'll organize your fuckin' brain all over the wall back there?" " How about that?" "One..." " You're gonna shoot me now, huh, Bo?" " Just a second." "Two..." " I can't believe this." "She can't talk right now." "That's a really nice scream." "They oughtta give you more work." "All right, I'll get you the money, but it's not here." "I gotta go get it." "Okay, fine." "In the meantime, I'll just hold onto her for safekeeping." " Now, you know Laurel Canyon?" " I'll find it." "I'm at 8150 Wonderland Avenue, right off of Laurel." "I'll be there, Karen." "You get the money?" "No." "What is this?" "Plan "B."" "You make yourself comfortable." " Karen Flores is plan "B"?" " Don't ask questions, Bear." " She's a movie star!" " I don't care what she is." " Oh, for Christ sake." " Gonna make a little trade." " Trade for what?" " The money, Bear." "You get life for kidnapping!" "Just calm down, Bear." "You're talkin' about life in prison, you want me to calm down?" "!" " Do not fade on me now, Bear." " You're gonna shoot me now?" "Go ahead, then!" "Put me outta my misery." "Go ahead!" "I said calm the hell down, unless you want to spend the rest of your life holding Farrah on your lap in a room full of goddamn felons!" "So... this is one of them houses you see hanging' off the side of the cliff." "Where's Karen?" "In my bathroom." "Where's the money?" " Let me see her." " Go ahead." "You okay?" "Guy's got a fucking pink toilet, for Christ sake." "She's great." "Give me the money." "First, I'm gonna settle something between you and me." "I've been shot at before... once by accident, twice on purpose... and I'm still here." "Once by accident, twice on purpose... and I'm still here." "And I'm gonna be here as long as I want, which means that you gotta be somewhere else... and nowhere near me, Karen, or Harry." "Now, here's your money." "Take it, and leave the movie business to the rest of us who know what we're doing." "Come on, Karen." "You broke in my house, and I have a witness to it." "What?" "Only this time it ain't no John Wayne or Dean Martin shooting bad guys in El Dorado." "That was Rio Bravo." "Robert Mitchum played the drunk in El Dorado." "Dean Martin played the drunk in Rio Bravo." "Basically, it was the same part." "John Wayne did the same in both..." "he played John Wayne." "I can't wait for you to be dead." "Are you gonna let him talk to me..." "That's for the stairs, and that's for the airport!" "Get him off my carpet before he starts to bleed." "You want to take this guy out?" "Come out on the deck, make it look like he came at us." "You shoot him." "Self-defense." "Get up." "Shouldn't he have a weapon, a knife or something?" "Get it later." "All right, Bear." "That's enough!" "Enough, Bear!" "You keep hitting him like that, he's not gonna look like he broke in anymore." "He's gonna look like somebody beat him up and then shot him." "No, he ain't." "Hold on, man." "We're gonna get the fuck outta here." " What the hell are you doing?" " Karen, what the fuck are you doing?" " Oh, shit!" " She's shootin' at us!" "Come on." "Oh, I'm sorry!" "Sorry!" "Wow." "How do you think that happened?" "Beats the shit outta me." " Were you scared up there?" " You bet." " You don't act like it." " I was scared then, not now." "How long you want me to be scared?" "I'll be right back." "How'd you get in here?" "It was easy." "I told them I was you." "I acted real stupid, and they believed me." "So what brings you to L.A., Bones?" "Please, don't insult me." "Just turn around." "Turn around." "Do you know that you're the dumbest fuck I ever met in my whole life?" "Let me take a look in these pockets." "You should have told me about Leo Devoe as soon as you found out about him." "Why would I do something like that?" "Because the guy is a customer of mine, that's why, dummy." "He belongs to me." "Well, well, well, well, well." "What have we here?" ""C-18."" "Now, I wonder what this could be?" "A locker key?" "But where's the locker?" "I checked the bag at the airport." "Which terminal?" "Which terminal?" "Sovereign." "You found Leo, huh?" "You found him, you took the poor bastard's money, you put it in a locker all ready to go." "Why haven't you left?" "I like it out here." "You know, Chili, I been thinking... there's really no reason why you and I shouldn't get along." "Forget about all of that stuff that happened before." "I don't even remember how this mess started." "You took a swing at me for some fuckin' thing." "I say fuck it." "I say you owe me money." "I say fuck that." "I say you owe me the juice out of the money." "I say fuck that, too." "I say live and let die, but this... this is strictly between you and I." "You say nothing to nobody about this." "Understood?" " Whatever you say, Ray." " I think it's only fair, don't you?" "Well, then, it's all settled." "I'll see you around." "Dumb fuck." "Come on." "The fuckin' airport." "Bingo, boys." "Let's go." "Hey, Bones." "Look at me." "Fuck you, fuckball." " Damn." " Cut!" "Cut!" "I am pushing the right button." "You're not pushing the right button, or else that thing wouldn't fall on the floor." "But it's all right." "Bear-man, show him how to do it, okay?" " I don't know, maybe it's..." " What do you want to do, Harry?" "We'll get it fixed." "Wrap." "It's a wrap." "Come back tomorrow." "Fuck!" "Harry, what are you doing?" "You should have gone into overtime to get that shot." "This is only the second day." "We're already two weeks behind." "And do me a favor, all right, Harry?" "Here's what I don't understand." "Martin already told me that he loves it." "Buddy, I just don't think that Martin is right, okay?" "Why the hell not?" "Because he's too short." "Come on." "Why does he keep pushing Martin Weir?" "Packaging." "You can't make a Martin Weir into a Mel Gibson." "Do you want to go to Morton's or Dan Tana's?" "I don't know."