"Whose car is it?" "I'm on a bounty system now." "Cash bonus for everyone I pull out of the deadly surf." "I got it." "Help me." "You can make it!" "Get up!" "Get up!" "That's it." "Nice play." "How come he never mentioned your name?" " You're being very rude." " Is that a major offense with you?" "If it is, what would you consider murder?" "I sure hope that doesn't happen to you." "That's it." "Hawaii's a country of the mind." "It promotes delusions of immortality." "I mean, without seasons, it's all just sunsets." "People may die, but they never get older." "I got it." "Help me." "You can make it!" "Get up!" "Get up!" "That's it." "Nice play." "Get this one and we're out of here." "Not that I'm putting on the pressure." "Right." "No pressure, partner." "OK, partner." "Here we go." "Take my good friend Marcus, for example." "I woke up one day and realized I was 32 and I'd never had a chance to be 22." "Marcus?" "Marcus was my mirror image." "On the calendar he was closing in on 30, but in many ways, he was still 22." " I got it." "Help me." " You can make it." "Get up!" "Get up!" "Good." "Go, go, go!" "Get that!" "Get up!" "That's it." "Nice play." "Marcus, I'm a little worried about Saunders." "He's hitting a lot better with Kovak setting up." " No problem." "I got him covered." " I'm serious." "I'm worried." "Don't be." "It just causes wrinkles." "Thank you." "Marcus?" "It's not a Ferrari, but what is?" "Hey, wait a second." "Lifeguards, even senior guards, don't drive..." " Come on." "Whose car is it, Marcus?" " Hard work and thrift, partner." "I'm on a bounty system." "Cash bonus for everyone I pull out of the surf." " Come on, Marcus." " I gotta go." "I got that appointment." "I'll see you at the tournament." "Remember..." "No pressure." "Right." "When I write my book on how to be a world-class private investigator," "I'm going to include a chapter on listening to your little voice." "Everyone has one and mine told me to stop Marcus and find out the real story behind his new car." "Of course, I didn't." "And that's another chapter " "Things I Should Have Done But Didn't." " Hello." " Thomas." "Rick." "Rick?" "It's five in the morning." "You're in trouble, huh?" "I'm not in trouble." "Listen." "Then what are you waking me up for?" "I got a big tournament tomorrow." "I gotta get some rest." "Thomas, it's bad news." "Oh, yeah." "I know." "Your friend Marcus." "You'd better get down to Sandy Beach right away." "Apparently he was out for a midnight swim." "Got caught in a tide." "It pulled him around the reef." " Crashed his body against the rock." " He's a lifeguard." " Listen, you know as well as me..." " He couldn't have drowned." " Always possible." "It's a mistake." " He's too good an athlete." "That's why we need a positive identification." " This way." " Marcus!" " Nancy." " Marcus!" "No!" "No!" "No!" " Magnum." " Wait a minute." "OK?" " Just wait here." "Please." " OK." "Nancy was Marcus's kid sister." "She came out here three years ago from Illinois to find some excitement." "She wanted to be a tour guide." "You know, see the islands and get paid for it." "I don't want to talk about him or think about him or remember him again." "He was a 30-year-old teenager that never grew up." "I don't know." "I thought he was starting to and then he pulls this stunt on me and dies." "Nancy." "That's just it." "He didn't do anything." "I don't think it was an accident." "I don't want to hear about it." "Just stay away from me." "Let this be." "He's your brother, for God's sakes." "You can't just walk away." "Why not?" "He's dead, isn't he?" "Leave me alone." "Leave him alone." " Isn't his death enough?" " No, it's not." "You don't think so either." "Marcus was more than my brother." "He was my best friend." "When I came out from Illinois, he got me an apartment." "Thomas, he was so beautiful." "That's what I want to remember." "Please." "I was never any good at funerals." "When they buried Marcus, I said goodbye to him my own way, where we'd spent our friendship, at the beach." "But before his face and name became part of my memory, there was one more thing I had to do." "That was listen to my little voice." "This time." "It was talking about Marcus's new car." "He never had two nickels to rub together, but the day after he showed up with it, they pulled his body off the reef." " What are you doing?" " Shh." " You leave me alone." " It's OK." "No, it's not." "Don't touch me." "Don't worry." "I'm not gonna hurt you." "Yeah, great." "So you say." "Who are you, anyway?" "My name's Thomas Magnum." "I'm..." "I was a friend of Marcus's and I'm also a private investigator." "OK." "My name's Daisy Spencer." "I just got off a plane from Cincinnati, Ohio." "I was Marcus's fiancée." "If you're such a great friend, how come he never mentioned your name?" "I could ask you the same question." "Look, we just played volleyball together." "He was my partner." " I just thought that..." " How much?" "What?" " Oh, no, I'm not on this case." " I'd be happy to pay for your services." "No, it's not the issue." "It's just..." "Look, Miss Spencer..." "I wouldn't hesitate if there was any real evidence, anything tangible that would indicate his drowning wasn't accidental." "Marcus was a strong, almost world-class swimmer." " I know that." " Clear skies, calm sea, no unusual tides." "The first thing I did after his father called me and broke the news was phone the police." " They told me that they..." " Fine." "Fine." "What they didn't tell you is his sister Nancy is one of the loveliest and most gentle girls I've ever met." "And his death really tore her apart." "I'll be damned if I'm gonna open things up and hurt her unnecessarily because of your long-distance logic." "Besides, the police think the coroner's report is going to be accidental death." "They don't even have an active investigation." "Then what are you doing here?" "It was not my best afternoon ever." "Marcus's fiancée had hit me in the spot already rubbed raw by Nancy." "What I wanted was a long swim in the tidal pool followed by a steak and an exceptional bottle of wine." " What I got instead was..." " Magnum." "One moment, please, if you don't mind." "You know those tide charts you mentioned you needed?" "I dropped by the Office of Oceanographic Affairs during my lunch hour and had the currents specially marked." " You did?" " Of course." "Chums enjoy doing favors for one another." " Chums?" " Of course." " Will you stop that?" " What?" "That awful smiling." "You're up to something." "Some kind of a trick." "Actually, I'm in the rare position of having to ask a favor of you." " An insignificant one, of course." " What is it, Higgins?" "The Aloha historical Society has named me its first non-native chairman for the preservation of structures of significant architectural value." "As a fundraiser for the next three weekends, with Mr. Masters' permission, the Society will sell tours of the grounds." "Here?" "At the estate?" "A bunch of little old ladies with blue hair running around..." "Ladies of old families, gently reared and bred, concepts I realize are totally alien to a man of your obvious, vulgar tastes." "Eating cucumber sandwiches and wearing those funny 30-year-old suits, and no make-up." "Obviously a modicum of sensitivity, a certain decorum while they're about, is impossible to expect from you and your friends." "Therefore my request is that you absent yourself from the grounds from sunrise Saturday to sunset on Sunday." "What?" "Wait a minute." "This is my home too, remember." " You won't do me the favor?" " Absolutely not." "How depressingly short-sighted of you." "I thought you'd see the wisdom of this because in return for this insignificant..." "Insignificant?" "You call moving out for three weekends insignificant?" "Certain past indiscretions." "Various incriminating lapses noted in my log." "Higgins, there is nothing that you can tell Robin that he doesn't already know, that we haven't laughed about." "The potato chip heiress from Buffalo who filled the tidal pool with..." "A little misunderstanding, Higgins." "After it was drained..." "Then there was the Romanian mime troupe who..." "Eugh." "You're not gonna bring that up." "You were here when the paramedics arrived." "I will take note of your panic and those guilt-crazed eyes as assent to my favor," " albeit with the slightest reluctance." " Wait a minute!" "This isn't a favor, it's extortion and blackmail." "It's a gentlemen's agreement, though under the circumstances the term is misused." "Wait a minute, Higgins." "We can talk about this." "We can..." "Good day, chum." "We can talk about this." "Aaah!" "Ow!" " What?" " Never mind." "I'll call back." "Rick, no." "I'm sorry." "What have you got?" "I got the skinny on Marcus's car." "It was leased by Chase Shipping." " You got an address?" " Grab a pencil." "The address Rick came up with was a big white house in Kahala, complete with the Bentley and the same elegant blonde I'd seen outside the club the last day I saw Marcus alive." "What are you doing?" "I thought you weren't investigating this case." " I'm not." " Oh?" " So why are you so interested in that car?" " None of your business." " Now, if you'll excuse me." " I won't excuse you." "Because I'm a detective undercover for the honolulu Police." "You're interfering in an official investigation." "So the little rich girl from Cincinnati turned out to be an undercover cop complete with badge and a subtle threat of making my life miserable if I didn't cooperate with the Department." "Although I was still upset about being lied to," "I was, of course, too professional to let it show." "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop?" "That's undercover detective." "until you started working on the case, how did I know you weren't one of the killers?" " Then the police think it's murder." " It's a theory." "Call me Tracy." "As long as we're working on the same case..." "We're not both working on the case." "We're..." "On the trail of the prime suspect." " No, thank you." " Oh, thank you." " Thank you." " That's two dollars, please." " AII I have is a five." " Thank you." "Don't look so worried." "There's nothing to be concerned about." "Her husband's in Vancouver." "Besides, I kind of enjoy this." "That's because your menu doesn't have prices on it." "Not that I mind dining out in a nice restaurant." "It's just that..." "Lately I've been putting a lot of money back into my business." "Well, look." "When you're stalking big game, you've got to go into the jungle." " Take my hand." " What?" "Take my hand." "It's supposed to be a date, not Indian wrestling." "Now smile into my eyes." " What?" " Now laugh." "Because her friend is going to the powder room." "I'll just make sure that she doesn't come right back." "It's called division of labor." " Miss Chase?" " Yes?" "My name's Thomas Magnum." "We have a mutual friend." "May I join you?" "I already have a luncheon companion." "I believe you do too." "Well..." "Our mutual friend is dead." "I was trying to find out why." "I was just hoping you could help me out." " You're being very rude, Mr. Magnum." " Is that a major offense with you?" "If it is, what would you consider murder?" "Are you a policeman?" "Much worse." "I'm a private investigator." "And why do you think this young man was murdered?" "That's not the question." "The question is why was this young man driving an expensive sports car leased for you by your husband's company?" "You're so intense." "I wish I had some sinister answer for you." "But the truth is that he worked for my husband and me as a part-time house boy, bartending at our parties." "He had to pick up supplies and his car broke down so I loaned him that one." "If you wish, you can ask my husband." "He can tell you everything you want to know about the young man." "Marcus." "He wasn't "the young man"." "He had a name." "You know, you were wrong." "Rudeness isn't a crime." "It's just a terrible bore." "Good day." "I'll just drop you off at your car, and then we're gonna call it quits, right?" "OK?" "The Department will reimburse me for dinner and the breakfast, right?" " Wrong." " What?" "The Department's interested in that little black book you lifted from Marcus's drawer." " You saw..." " Mm-hm." "Now turn around." "We're going to your house." " Now look..." " Because if you don't," "I'm going to impound it as evidence." "Turn left." "Now wait a minute." "If you think I'm gonna..." "I say, Magnum." "As usual, your timing couldn't be worse." "I assumed you'd be freeloading at the club all day so I scheduled my first committee luncheon." "Now it could most delicately be described as a compromising situation." "Don't get excited." "In 15 minutes, ten if I'm lucky, she will be out of here." "Tracy Spencer, honolulu Police Department." "Are you, by chance, the Jonathan Quayle Higgins?" "I find that appellation a bit pretentious, but yes, I am." "Well, you're far too modest." "We're quite familiar with your outstanding record with the Prince of Wales' Own West Yorkshire Regiment." "As a matter of fact, I have a private theory of my own, one which I haven't shared with the other members of the detective bureau..." " Oh, brother." " Magnum, please." "Let this young lady continue." "As a matter of fact," "I often wonder how a man of Magnum's limited background has been able to crack so many difficult cases." "You're not alone, Miss Spencer, I can assure you." "Tracy." "until I learned that he was a guest at this estate." "You must be his mentor." "I?" "Involved in Magnum's sordid divorce cases?" "The keen eye, the cool head, the Renaissance mind could only come from a man with your impeccable background and taste." "Confess." "Am I right?" "I suppose modestly, from time to time, I do help out a bit, yes." "Enough." "If you want to look at the book, you gotta do it right now." "Lovely to meet you." "official business." ""Renaissance mind."" ""cool head." Cream?" "A little PR never hurt." "Please." "You know a lady named Rose?" "No." "What's her address?" "Somewhere near the Chinese cultural Center." "No number." "There you are." "Are you trying to horn in on my investigation?" "Your investigation?" "I most certainly am not." "Good." "Because civilians only muck up this kind of investigation so don't even..." ""Muck up"?" "Look, Tracy, or whatever your name happens to be at this particular moment," "I am a professional." "I happen to get paid..." "lots, lots of money, to solve cases just like this one." "So you wanna make a deal?" "Work together?" "No deals." "It's unusual, it's irregular, and I'm only willing to cooperate because you'll just keep at it anyway." "But if they find out about this down at headquarters, I'm in very big trouble." "I already told you." "No deals." "I know what you're thinking, and you're right." "I should have stuck with no deals." "But two heads were better than one." "And besides, the experience and streetwise acumen of a police detective might come in handy." "Sure, I know him." "But his name isn't Marcus." "It's Sean." "He worked down here?" "Are you sure?" "A guy who looked like that?" "I'd remember." "Every time he said hello, my brain turned to tapioca." "Kinda like now." "Did he sell aloha shirts, or maps?" "Oh, no." "He was a class act." "Nothing but top-grade merchandise." "Good watches." "Great little tape-players." " You could tell he was quality." " Do you know where he got the stuff?" "Down here, mister, you don't ask questions." " You're not a cop, are you?" " No, I'm just a friend." "Marcus..." "Sean... turned up dead in the ocean." "I think somebody killed him." "Oh, damn." "Listen." "Thanks." "Hey, friend of Sean." "One thing, one funny thing about Sean." "By the end of the day, he'd have a real wad of money." " Yeah?" " He was never nervous about carrying it." "Around this neighborhood, a bankroll can make you an instant neurotic." "Unless you got some real protection." "Sounds like his ran out too soon." "I sure hope that doesn't happen to you." "Excuse me, mister, but there seems to be a problem with your car." " What?" " Maybe you better come with us." "I'd be glad to." "That car's very important to me." "It should be." "This is not where my car is parked." "Girls, do you want to tell me what's going on?" "If this is a robbery, I got about eight bucks." "Here." "You want my watch?" "It cost about $17.95 at the..." "Come on!" "That's enough." "I've never hit a woman before..." "Maybe it's about time you suddenly started, before it's too late." "That's it." "See, Rose doesn't like anybody snooping in this territory." " Do you understand?" " Freeze!" "Police!" "Are you all right?" "Why didn't you pull your gun?" "Because it got stuck... in my make-up case." "I mean this in the very best sort of way." "Have you ever considered taking a self-defense course?" " They were women." " That's my point." "Poor thing." "Aw!" "Oh, good, Magnum." "You're here..." "Good Lord." "Are you all right?" " Oh, no, I'm fine." " Is she all right?" "Is she all right?" "Higgins, look at my body." "I'm not blind, Magnum." "I can see that you look like bloody hell." "Actually, though, this is a minor beating compared to some you've taken." "On a relative scale, it merely counts as a dusting up." "I remember doing my first tour of duty in India." "One of our lads ran afoul of a minor rajah." "You can imagine the fiendish torture the creature..." "Higgins!" "Look, wait a second." "What makes you think I was beat up?" "Anything could have happened." "Besides, why do you always assume I lost the fight?" " Ha-ha." " I was just about to depart." "My committee on historical preservation is viewing a wonderful neoclassicaI house" " on the other side of the island." " Congratulations." "Have a terrific trip." "I had planned to stay away for several days." "But now, of course, I could never abandon my duty here." "I can manage." "I've got all the instructions from the hospital emergency room." "I was referring, of course, to the lads." "Magnum is in no condition to take care of them." "Higgins, go." "Just go!" "I will watch the lads." "I'll cube their sirloin." " I'll even pick up their..." " Magnum." "With that assurance, I'll depart." "By the by..." "Even though you're with the police, you aren't, by any chance, a client of Magnum's?" "No!" "Absolutely not." "Good." "Tell me, does it still hurt?" "Everything hurts." " Higgins, don't come in here again." " Thomas, it's us." " Higgins left already." " He sure was laughing about something." "Where's that tennis racquet you never returned?" " Whoa!" " We've got a date with two..." "You look awful." "Did you get beat up again?" "I bet it was some big dudes." "About 6'6" and maybe 250 pounds." " Listen..." " I bet they had big guns too, huh?" "I bet they're sorry they messed with T. M." "Guys, can we talk about this later?" "What have you got for me?" ""What have you got for me?" That's all you and I are good for anymore." "And we're always the ones sticking our neck out for him and..." "Eugh." "Doing all the dirty work." "Guys, I'm the guy who got beat up this time." " That's right." " I guess you got a point." "We went to the agent that leased Marcus's car." "We said we wanted to buy it and he let us take it for a test ride." "Oh-ho-ho!" " Sounds dangerous." " It is." "It's got five on the floor," " positraction rear end, full race cam..." " Rick!" "OK." "Here." "We found this in the glove compartment." "Thank you." "It's a parking stub from Rose's discount warehouse." "Marcus was involved with her." "Come on." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Up, up." "Up." "Hey, wait a minute." "Where are you going?" "We're gonna go find those girls who beat him up." "Girls?" "Now, Thomas..." "Just remember, you won't help anything by being rough and vindictive." "Don't worry." "I'm a professional." "Hi there." "Come here." "Come on." "I want some answers, starting with who is this woman Rose you're working for?" " Magnum." " What?" " Magnum." " What?" "I hope you're looking for Rose for a polite reason." "Because you just found him for sure, sweetheart." "My pal Marcus told me what you were up to." "Now that he's unavailable, I figured to move in on your action." " Who's the chick?" " Her?" "Nobody." "She's just my bimbo." "And he's just my big hunk of man." "So what's this action you think you can take over?" "Marcus was selling hot goods on the street." "Except they weren't so hot because you laundered them." "It's second-hand news." "Your game is lame, lady." "So what makes you think I'd take you in?" "I can get my own merchandise." "It's easier to take me in than fight me for the territory." "What kind of merchandise are we talking about?" "Top-of-the-line stuff." "The best." "It better be." "Cos I'd get real upset if I thought I was being scammed." " You got that, sweetheart?" " Trust me." "Trust him." "Hey, guys." "I got the microwave." "T.C., give me a hand with this speaker." "Thanks." "You've had some crazy ideas but this has got to be the craziest." "That truck we're using belongs to Ice Pick." "I told him we were moving my aunt." "Guys, this is shrewd detective work." "Every angle has been figured." "Tracy's even getting the serial numbers so we can prove the goods are ours." "If this is so foolproof, why aren't we taking stuff from your place?" "That's obvious." "I promised Rose top quality and I'm not materialistic." "I have just not spent my money acquiring things, that's all." "What is Higgie baby gonna say about all this?" "Higgins?" "If he were here, he'd be helping us." "He did seem like an extremely generous man to me." "This chick is a detective?" "Ice Pick can get terrific Tank watches." "You can't tell it from the real thing." "So if you're looking for a..." "Just a suggestion." "I'm just trying to help." "Are we almost finished?" "I don't want to be late." "This operation has to be synchronized." "Let me get the stereo stuff from upstairs." "Hey!" "Come on, guys." "This is gonna be a snap." "I know what you're thinking again, but this time you're absolutely wrong." "It was one of the sweetest plans ever." "I'd catch Marcus's killer," "Tracy would be out of my life, and the best part of all was that we were absolutely safe because I was relying on human nature - greed." " Oh, no." " Well, what have we got here?" "Hi." "Ripping us off?" "That's right." "OK." "Now's the time." "Call in the backups." "Go ahead." "Call them on your wrist radio or whatever you use nowadays." " I can't." " What?" "Why?" "Because I'm not a detective." "I'm a meter maid." "Come to Rose, sweetheart." "Come on." "Listen, I can explain." "Don't bother." " Please!" " I won't believe you." "But I want to explain." "I need to explain." "Who cares?" "Tracy, I've been lied to, conned, humiliated and almost killed." " Ditto." " And aloha." " Next time you need us..." " Just include us out." "I don't want to hear it." " But..." " Not one single word." "Please." "Just listen." "Thomas." "Tho..." "Tho..." "Look..." "My father was a police captain in Cincinnati." "My mother died when I was eight." "I grew up with 27 uncles, the cops in my dad's precinct." "I was the only girl to go to her graduation with a full motorcycle escort." "So far I like it better than the story about being Marcus's fiancée, but not much." "AII I ever wanted to be was a detective like Dad." "So I came out here to make it on my own, only I can't get on the detective squad." "I can't even get a patroI-person job." "They say it's cos of my bad eyes." "Oh, no." "They're just being kind." "But if that's the case, why don't you move back to Cincinnati?" "Maybe the letters are bigger on the eye charts there." "Don't make fun of me!" "It was hard enough to get on the traffic patrol out here." "Which is almost like being a real cop." "Only we don't carry guns." "And on my own time I respond to homicide calls because if I solve a big murder case they'll have to let me be a real cop." "You don't know the marginal cases I've spent time on, praying it turned out to be a murder." " That's the truth." " Tracy." "You wouldn't know the truth if it came at you in a head-on collision." "Tom, look." "You've just got to help me." "Because I'm using my vacation time to crack this case and I gave myself until I was 30 to become a policewoman, then I gave myself until I was 31 and my birthday's in two days and I can't go back a failure so you're my absolute desperate last chance." "Besides..." "Couldn't we just try once more?" "Then I promise I won't ask again." "Why?" "Why would I do a crazy thing like that?" "Because underneath that tough-guy facade, you've got a heart of gold." "Because you couldn't say no to a woman in trouble, no matter what." " No." " Because you..." " What did you say?" " I said no." "N" " O. No!" "And if you think that's gonna work, you're crazy." "Now I want you to take that truck back and then get out of my life, forever." " Go on!" " Is that your final decision?" " Yes!" " Are you sure?" " Yes!" " Are you absolutely positive?" "Yes!" "I still know what you're thinking." "I was a little hard on her." "But she deserved it, even though she called and promised to pay for the TV." "She said she'd send $20 every month to Higgins to cover it." "I told her not to bother." "But something else was bothering me." "My little voice." "It was telling me there was one more thing I could try." "Sometimes a single look says a thousand words." "That morning outside the club, Marcus and Margaret Chase exchanged a look that said a lot more than "Have a nice day."" "I thought nothing of it then, but when you run out of the obvious leads, your mind has a tendency to create its own." "The inside of the house was cool and very proper, like Mrs. Chase herself." "Maybe because I'm a private investigator," "I always get uneasy around people and places like that, and start looking for anything that's not quite so perfect." "It seems there's always something." "Oliver?" "Oliver, I thought you weren't due back till..." "Friday." " It's not Oliver." " Well, that's obvious." "And what you have in your hand is very private." "Murder's never private." " Give it to me." " I'll trade you." "For what?" "I suppose you want money too." "No." "Just the truth." "Was someone blackmailing you?" "No." " Marcus was your lover." " No." " Someone found out and demanded a payoff?" " No." "And you wouldn't pay so he was killed." "Will you stop it?" "What do you want?" "I want to believe that you're worth dying for." "Marcus did." "In many ways, Marcus was like a little boy." "Wanted to be my hero." " You were right about the blackmail." " Rose." "Yeah." "Marcus was working for Rose because he thought if he had money I'd leave Oliver." "He didn't know that being poor wasn't what I was afraid of." "I never imagined that he'd fall in love with me." "Was it your husband?" "No." "He never knew." "He still doesn't, but I had to end it." "So I told Marcus and he got furious." "We were out on my boat." "I took him there because I knew how impulsive he could be." "I knew he'd go straight to Rose." "It was the only fight we ever had." "Margaret, who?" "Was it Rose?" "No, it was..." "I just never thought he'd do that." "It wasn't murder." "Then what do you call it?" "I'd call it quits, sweetheart." "Hi, Rose." "Hi, guys." " Cash and carry, Mrs. Chase?" " No." " Come again?" " No." "No more." "I am through paying." " Just leave." " Maybe you'd like to reconsider." " I don't think so." " No?" "You want to say goodbye to me?" "I'll go." "You don't want to pay me no more?" "Don't pay." "Come on, ladies." "Except what about Oliver?" "Do you want to call him?" "Or should we wait until he reads about it in the papers?" "And then there's the trial." "Are you ready for that, Mrs. Chase?" "Are you ready to pay the price?" "Or do you just want to keep on paying me?" "Bet you hated your fathers." "Freeze!" "Freeze!" "Please?" " Thanks for the game, guys." " Magnum." "Magnum." "I'm gonna buy you the tallest, coldest beer you ever had." "Not that I'm trying to encourage your consumption of alcoholic beverages, but this is a celebration." "They made you a police person?" "They actually..." "I don't believe it." "The police actually..." "Well, it's more like actually sort of." "My application is up for review, and what I need from you is an affidavit explaining how I cracked the case, how invaluable I was." " Invaluable?" " We can talk about it after the beer." "But just think about it." "If I actually did eventually become a detective, we could be, like, two pros together." "I mean, maybe even partners." "Isn't that terrific?" "Isn't life fabulous?" "Oh!"