"Life, as you know it, is stealing from you." "Literally." "Minute by minute, surcharge by surcharge... the ubiquitous convenience of modern life is bleeding you dry." "Nickel by nickel." "Chump change." "The dime you don't even bother bending over to pick up on some sidewalk... is the very same dime you get "bent-over" for by all these "services."" "You call 411, that'll cost you.50¢." "You want to actually PLACE that call, that'll cost you an additional.49¢." "That adds up to guys like you and me." "By the end of the week, the day before payday, I've got 20 bucks to my name." "But don't even think about trying to withdraw your money." "It cost me $1.50 to get my twenty dollars." "I only have $18.50 after the freakin' ATM takes its cut... which means I don't have twenty dollars, I have insufficient funds." "That's why I'm here!" "Now, listen closely because I'm about to tell you a secret." "How to beat the "system"... and take charge of the surcharge in life." "Shit!" "That hurts!" "Son of a..." " I couldn't care less you whinny little..." " Whoa there skippy." "If I wanted more verbal abuse, I'd call some customer service center somewhere." "Sorry, didn't catch that last part?" "Was that, "Sorry for being a bitch..." "I'll be nice now?"" "Ouch!" "You..." " Ok, let's start over." " Good idea." "What do you want?" " My twenty bucks." " I think we covered that." "True." "So, what's your name?" "Jason, Jason Taylor." "People call me Jinx though." "What's your name?" " Jessica." " Jessica." "Nice name." "You kind of look like a Jessica." " Ok." "So... what's next?" " What do you mean?" "What are you going to do?" "I don't know." "I mean, well, I don't know." " You don't know?" " No, not exactly." "Not exactly?" "What's next?" "What is your next step?" "i.e. Evaluate." "Execute." "Exit." "What is your plan?" "Have you got a plan?" "Did you ever think of devising a plan in a situation like this?" "Maybe you ought to have a plan." " Oh, boy." " You know." "No!" "Oh, God..." "What's this?" "Oh, sorry about that." "That's what they call a cell phone." " Thanks." " What are you going to do?" " Um, hello?" " Hello?" " Hello." " Hello." " Hello?" "Can you here me?" " Who's this?" " I asked you first." " Excuse me?" " I said, who is this?" " I heard what you said." "So, who is this, to whom am I speaking with?" " More importantly, what do you want?" " I don't know." " You don't know?" " My twenty bucks." "Let's start over, let's just say my name is Simon." "Ok, good enough for me." "So, Simon, what's the deal?" "How do we do this?" "How do we do this?" "Well... you tell me what you want, i.e. your demands." "Then I give you what's called a counter-offer... giving you part of what you want, but not everything... so I hold a decent bargaining position... to deliver what it is I want." "Got it?" " I don't think I like your attitude." " That 'a boy... now you're beginning to get the feel!" "I want my twenty bucks... and safely get out of here!" "What we have here is a symbiotic relationship." "Now we're cooking 'cause you want out of there and I'd love to be in there." "And in the spirit of negotiation..." "I would like to see you dead... and you'd like to get out safely... so let's meet in the middle and just have you come out." " What do you say?" "Big boy." " You're kind of brutally blunt... and to tell you the truth, it's a bit unsettling." "I'm not so sure about this." "Whatever." "Do we have a deal?" "I would love to accommodate you, except the seeing me dead part." "But, I didn't lock this door... it sealed itself when the alarm went off... and I don't know how to open it." "And that's my problem, how?" "I'm trapped in a vault." "I want out!" "I want..." "Mind if I speak with him?" " What?" " Mind if I speak with him?" "Yeah, sure, wait, no, I mean no." "What are you talking about?" "You are not running the show." " I am running the show now." " Ok." "You're running the show." "Simon, he's running the show now." "I said no talking on the phone." "Please tell her everything is fine." "Just wait for now." "He says everything is fine, just..." "Wait." "Everybody hold on a minute!" "May I make a suggestion?" "Fine." "Why not?" "Tell him I can open the door... but you won't allow me... to until he guarantees you safe passage out." "She can open the door, but..." "I heard her." "It's a good plan." "I give you my guarantee. 100%." "Hold up here." "How can you open this ten-ton solid steel bank vault door... and why should I trust you?" "See that computer?" "That particular computer is tied into the entire security system... of this and every other branch of Union Federal... why do you think it's kept in a vault?" "Hey, what am I gonna do to you?" "It's not like I've got a gun or anything." "Fine." "It's called "exploding noema"." "It's a theory of psychoanalysis to describe the exact moment... when the brain can't reconcile the difference... between its perception of what should be versus the reality of what is." "Kinda like drinking from what you thought was one thing... you actually drink cigarette butts and beer." "Well that moment should be over now... and your brain is facing the reality that if you get up from that chair... this little gadget of yours will be lots of little gadget pieces." "Stop!" "Please." "Please." "That is our way out of here." "That is our key." "Literally." "Ok, now what?" "We talk." "You're a smart and extremely capable woman." "I'd even go so far to say, a serious force to be reckoned with." "You obviously know what you are doing." "And I'll be honest, the only authority I have here... is a stolen Palm Pilot and a roll of pretty durable tape." "But that's everything now, isn't it?" "So, you and I are going to talk." "You're going to give me frank and honest answers without any attitude." "Got it?" "Yes." "I do." "Ok then." "What's this all about?" "She doesn't know." " What was that?" " She doesn't know." "She's equipped with the codes, but isn't briefed on what to do or the plan." "She's a hired gun." " You're lying." " No." "He's not." " You're lying." " No." "I'm not." "Ok then, now what?" "What you're going to do is..." "I was saying..." "Look here you..." "Ok, please, one moment." "Please..." "let's start over." "That's beginning to be our theme 'round here." "So, shoot." "Tell me what I need to know." "Tell me how I can get out of this vault... in a way that serves my best interest." "Namely alive." "Ok, there are key codes stored in the Palm Pilot... that's rather precariously in your possession." "The codes are for the computer terminal locked inside the vault with you... and on that computer, with the correct code... is the central electronic automatic locking control for the vault door." "And the master lock-release... for every safety-deposit box you see around you." "That a' boy, now we're cooking with gasoline." "Was that so hard?" "I mean really." "Yes." "Yes, it was actually." "Shake it off Simon." "Now that we're a little better informed with a bit of an attitude adjustment... let's revisit my original question." "How do we do this?" "Not bad." " Excuse me?" " The way you played that." "Not bad." "Do you think I laid it on too thick there in the end?" " You blew it." " I thought you just said..." "I know I did, but then you blew it." "I'm sorry, what's that?" "I mean, could you feel it?" "That moment?" "You had life by the balls." "You were in charge." "Hey Simon." "I'm gonna have to call you back." "You see!" "There, again." "The spark." "Living life!" "You, just then." "Hanging up." "You just did it." "Seriously." "I mean that's how life gets the better of us." "It ends up running rough-shod over us in small doses." "For example, why pay $1.50... to have access to your twenty bucks?" "Screw 'em!" "Exactly!" "Think about it." "They put in an ATM machine... basically does the work of, I dunno, dozen people or more per branch." "And?" "So, the bank lays these people off... saving entire years worth of salary... for dozens of people per bank, per machine... not to mention the money saved... not paying these people's insurance, benefits... bonuses, pension, welfare, taxes, nothing." " Yeah?" " And for all this profit... they have the audacity to charge us $1.50... every time we use their machine for our money." " And it doesn't stop there." "Surcharges..." " Yeah." " Service charges..." " Yeah." "Late fees, roaming fees..." "Nickel and diming us to death." "I mean, "Roaming fees" in addition to your phone bill on cell phones... that are meant to roam?" "That's why they call them "mobile phones," right?" "And late fees on DVDs that cost more than it would to just buy the movie!" "Crime by any other name." "It is a crime." "A crime of convenience." "We're in a state of financial emergency!" " Hello?" " This is 911 Emergency." "Hey, it's me, I'm the one who called just over a half-hour ago." "I'm ok, but I'm still locked in the bank vault." "Brian DeGepse here." "This is 911 Emergency... dispatch ready to patch you through, officer." "Go for DeGepse." "This is Brian DeGepse, commanding officer, Emergency Response unit..." " who am I speaking with?" " Jason Taylor, sir." "Alright Mr. Taylor, first, I've been briefed... but I need to know if you are still safe and secure." "You could say I'm safe." "Now, outline the situation, please." "I'm safe because I'm IN the safe." "I got the joke." "Sir." "I don't want to alarm you in any way, but this is not a laughing matter... there's nothing funny..." "I'm sorry, did you just say, "there's nothing funny... about he sit onion?"" "Excuse me?" "Don't mess with me Mr. Taylor." "Yes, I can hear you." "Can you... ear... me... ow?" "Ear what?" "Oh, hear you?" "No." "Can you hear me now?" "Look, find the spot with the best reception..." " Sorry." " And don't move." "Hear me?" "I can't..." "Look for a good zone." "I'll do that." " What d'ya got?" " The guy is nobody." "Couple a parking tickets, a DUI on a scooter..." " and he works at Starbucks." " Right." " Can you still hear me?" " Ok, I think I've got a good spot." "Hello?" "Are you ok?" "Do we have any injuries?" "I think we may have a fatality if someone doesn't get his ass off me!" "Fine." "Fine." "Everything's fine!" "Nothing to see here." "Move it along." "I swear to God, I'll kill you... with my hands tied behind my back if you don't stop right now." "Is your safety compromised, are you in danger?" "!" "I've been "compromised" alright, but he's the only one in danger!" "Who the hell is that and what's going on?" "!" "I just had to subdue the hostage sir." "Hostage?" "Who in the hell do you have hostage and why?" "She's one of "them"sir and I didn't mean to take her hostage... she was in here when I ran for cover." "So, I forcibly subdued her into custody... and that's when the vault door automatically closed on us." "What a crock." "That's a..." "Hey that's... yu... ear... me now?" "I'm not buying that." "At all." " In fact, that was pathetic." " Really?" "Try crinkling a paper bag over the mouth piece next time." "Works great..." "So, what's the situation?" "We're fine, unless you count being locked in a vault... with armed assholes outside the door." " Excuse me?" " No, I didn't mean YOU people." "Excuse me?" "Please don't tell me you're black or something." "I'd never, I..." "I am." "May I speak with him this time?" " Hello?" " Yeah?" "Hello." "You're going to have to forgive my friend here." "He's confused." "Just an innocent mistake." "He's really quite a sweet guy... but he's having a really bad day." "You know those days?" "I understand." "This is a stressful situation... for any civilian, mam." "I've seen it all before." "I am sure you have." "Your job must be fascinating!" "Well... excuse me Miss, who exactly are you?" "You see, there's been a huge misunderstanding..." "You see I was accessing my safety-deposit box... when the alarm went off..." "I was so frightened and flustered... when Jinx here ran in and..." "Wait..." " Who the hell is Jinx?" " That'd be me, sir." "Please, continue." "So, in the ensuing confusion..." "Jinx here mistook me for being a part of the hold up... did what a good man does and took control of the situation." "But, we've cleared that up now... and just want out of this awful vault as soon as you can help us." "Ok miss, just hang in there." "Help is in progress." "Thanks." "I'm going to have to call you back..." "I think we're running low on batteries." "So, what are you going to do?" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "How's it going?" "Not good." "Not very good." "Not good at all." "I'm talking impasse, a serious catch-22, a "Mexican stand-off."" "Basically..." "We're fucked!" "How's that Allexor working out?" "I dunno." "Prozac, XENIX, Wilburton... just another serotonin up-take inhibitor." "My doc thinks this'll work better..." "I don't think it's working at all." "In fact, it's got me a touch speedy." "No worries, the "situation" is in hand." "Okay." " Which situation?" " Never mind." "Go watch the guard." "Do you mind having a look at my gun first?" " What?" " My gun." "I think it's jammed again." "I took apart the clip-Ioader... firing pin, and reassembled the repeater..." "But it's still jamming." " And then you know..." " Just, go pretend to guard the guard." "No problem." "Will do." "Shit." "It's about time!" "Thank you... that tape was really beginning to kill my wrists." "I always keep my end of the deal." "A show of good faith, right?" "So, what are we going to do here?" "I don't know, what are we going to do?" "Seems like we're both living now, huh?" "A bit on the edge... for me." "But I gotta admit, I kind of like the view." "Living?" "What is it that you live to do?" "As far as I can tell, this is it." "You don't always get to choose the monumental moments in your life." "They choose you." "And when they do, you take what you can get." " Hello." " Hello." " Hello." " Hello, can you hear..." " Yeah, I was just saying hello." " Funny." " Not really." " What the fuck's going on?" "He's got the codes." "Okay." "How about you?" "I'm tied up." "So, here's what you're going to do." "You're gonna get me safe passage out of here." "We'll talk terms later." "A show of good faith right?" "I always keep my end of the deal." "What are you gonna do now?" " I think I just did it." " Yeah?" "Yeah." "Officer DeGepse here." "How're you two holding up?" "I'm not holding up anything." "That'd be the guys outside the vault." "Okay, then, what's your status?" "I think my status and your status are the same status." "Sort of stuck in a status." "Still locked in a vault." "Unable to get out." "Surrounded by armed robbers who would love to get in." "Even if they could get into the vault, they certainly can't get out... because they're surrounded by you who would love to throw them in prison." "Which I don't think is part of their plan." "That seem about right to you, sir?" "Fuck!" "Yeah, that sounds right." "Well, hang in there, while we continue to try... to establish communications with the suspects." "You want help?" "Thank you but we have the matter well in hand." "Do you have their phone number?" "No." "They usually try to establish contact with us... some time around this point." "Maybe you should just call them." "Thank you for your advice... but we'll have to wait for them to communicate with us." " Okay?" " All right... but if you need the numberjust holler and I'll give it to you." "I saw them leaving." "Not anything particular Not suspicious." "It's just that... he..." "What was that?" "It's just... he was kind of hot." "Any new developments?" "Right." "Hello." "DeGepse again." " Hey, there, what's up?" " You said you have their phone number?" "Yes." "Yes, sir." "That's affirmative, sir." "You want it now?" "Yes." "That would be helpful." " You got a pen, pencil?" " Just give me the number." "Uh, it's 367-9389." "337-9389." "Got it." "No, no, no." "It's 367-9389." "It's a six... 310 area code." "Ask for Simon." "Simon." "That's his name?" "I asked the same exact question." "I think he's using a fake name." "We're not too worried about that right now, are we?" "I guess not." "Yeah." "Anyway, ask for Simon." "Tell him Jinx gave you the number." "I'll do that." "Fuck." "I saw that." "That is why I got a good look at him." " Distinguishing features?" " Don't you have something better to do?" "He's calling Simon." "Keep him busy for a while." "Good." "We can use that time." "So what's the deal?" "What's they key to all this?" "You know, what is it?" "Well, first of all, it's not keys, it's codes." "That's the deal." "I thought I was getting the hang of this." "I didn't exactly major in felony philosophy." "Okay." "Well, you see all these safety deposit boxes." "Each one belongs to an individual bank customer." "Not the typical sentimental valuables, love letters, or some kids Play Do art." "This is a central bank." "They hold all the shit people want to keep safe." "The only problem is... you have to individually break in to every to box to get the contents." "Well, we've got a choice." "We can try and physically break into every box... or we can electronically break into one box." "Right." "Hey, whoa there." "Chatty." "Professor Felony... giving a master's lock lecture." "You care to elaborate a bit." " We have our ways." " And what way would that be?" " Ways." " Ways?" "Just ways?" "Yeah, I'm feeling pretty confident now." " We just got 'em, okay?" " No, it's not okay." "It's not okay at all." "This so solid plan of yours, it just went south." "Didn't it?" "I am being held hostage in a vault... conspiring to do God knows... what with my captor-slash-you know, partner." "Whatever you are." "I don't what I'm doing." "I don't even know what I'm partners in... except sharing a locked vault." "Don't "huh" with me." "I'm supposed to be the "huh" guy." "I'm supposed to be the one who's clueless about how to rob a bank not you." "My end of the deal was to get your ass out of here." "Your alibi." "And, if you haven't noticed... we're a far cry from two city blocks out of this mess." "Which just so happens to be the missing part of your full-proof plan." "In return, you provide a wealth of criminal knowledge... from your B.A. degree in Bachelor of Armed Robbery." "So that's the deal." "And if that's not the deal, then we have no deal." "So, deal with it." "You hungry?" "I was stopping to get a bite and I stopped at the ATM." "My twenty bucks." "Sweetie, you must be running on fumes by now." "Yeah." "I..." "I am, thank you." "Now, seriously, where did you get the codes?" "Come on." "Where did they come from?" "Seriously?" "Seriously, I don't know." " How does that work?" " I'm just a hired gun..." "The codes were texted to Simon... and they were beamed to my phone." "Who texted?" "You mean someone else sent the codes?" "Some guy." "It's all very anonymous these days." "It's the best way to do business." "You know, it's safe." "If you don't know anything about them." "They don't know anything about you." "You can't turn each other in." "We're freelancers." "Temps, of sorts." "You sound like you just answered a help wanted ad." "It's exactly like you answered a help wanted ad." "Off the Internet actually." "What do you think half those useless blogs are really about?" "You need somebody to do a job... you need plausible deniability." "You post a topic." "Pre-arranged site." "Seemingly meaningless, random." "You don't think we're a bunch of disorganized thugs... in a hideaway, do you?" "No, I guess I never really thought about it." "Exactly." "Who's going to monitor the Duran Duran fan forum chat room... when there's real crime out on the streets." "Did you just say Duran Duran?" "Yep." "Why not Zepplin?" "Everybody Zepplin is a forum for CIA counter-terrorism." "You gotta be kidding me." "Zepplin are spooks... and Duran Duran are an eighties, pretty-boy... bad ass crime syndicate?" "That is just not right." "No, it's absolutely true." "If someone posts "Looking for..." ""A View To Kill,"... that means "Assassin Wanted."" "If someone posts "Are You Hungry Like the Wolf"... that means hired hands for a bank job." "And so on." "So you're saying Duran Duran... is at the center of an international crime syndicate." "I seriously doubt Nick Rhodes or Simon Le Bon are actually involved..." "But it's not a bad place to hide, now is it?" "Did you just say "Simon"?" "Yeah, see." "I told you." " This is weird." " Not really." "I mean, forget about porn sites and dot coms." "Crime really is what pays." "And the Internet business is booming." "You just can't buy a stock, you have to steal it." "Okay, fine." "Whatever." "But why Duran Duran?" "Why?" "Why not?" "Anyway." "Anyway." "Simon gets the codes." "We get in here." "They hold the place down while I do my computer work." "The boxes are open." "We grab and go." "So the guy who sent the codes gets a cut, huh?" "It's almost civil really." "Exchange a few numbers for a percentage." "It's just a surcharge of a different name, I guess." "Well, this particular guy just wanted a PIN number." "PIN number?" "All I want to know is who gave you my number..." "That's not important right now." "What's important is the safety of the people you have inside." "Us safely resolving this situation." "Whatever." "Jinx gave them up, didn't he?" "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about." "Cut the crap!" "That little punk gave you my cell number." "I know it." "I really don't know what you're talking about." "Do you think I'm an idiot, huh?" "You're going to tell me you triangulated my cell phone number... without knowing my TTY frequency or even carrier for that matter?" "Just admit it!" "Jinx gave you my number." "You're only on the line because it's the only move you've got." "You can't resolve the situation." "And worse yet, worse yet... a civilian knows more about what's going on then you do." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Under no circumstances... am I authorized to disclose that information." "But I'd be happy to exchange myself for a safe hostage release." "Then we can discuss this matter further." " My God!" " What the hell was that?" "Glock 19 semiautomatic." "That's not good." " You can't." " Oh, you're right." "Listen, listen." "Let's take this down a few notches all right?" "That get your attention, officer?" "Listen, I hear you." "Now, I said..." "I said tell me who gave you this number!" "If you want to see..." "Fuck!" "Hold on." "We're holding." "We're holding." "No one's doing anything." "No, I mean hold on I got another call coming in." "Hello." " What the hell was that?" " That wake you up, did it?" "You shut it." "I'm the one asking the questions here." "If you ever want inside here and me out... you're gonna tell me what the hell that was." "That was a Glock..." "Your phone just broke up on me." "I missed that last part." "Don't even start getting attitude with me." "I happen to know exactly what kind of gun that was." "I want to know what's going on." "That was me." "Fuck!" "I don't think that was me." "I think you've got a call coming in." "I do." "Hold on." "Hello." "We heard gun shots." "Is everyone all right?" "Yeah, we're fine in here." "I don't know about outside." "I'm trying to find out." "What?" "Are you talking to Simon?" "Yeah, he's on the other line." "Aren't you supposed to be on the phone with Simon?" "I am." "I was." "I'm on hold." "Hold on a second." "I'll flash you in." "No, no, that's not a good idea." " Simon, are you still there?" " Yeah, I'm here." "Great." "Hold on." " Hello." " DeGepse here." "I think everyone's on the line." "Is everyone here?" " Here." " I'm here." "All right." "I think we should all try to work together here." "And work on some issues, okay?" " I think that..." " I think we..." " I think that..." " I think we..." "Come on guys." "Don't get shy now." "Simon, is there something you wanted to say to the officer?" "I'm sorry." "You see, Officer DeGepse, Simon says he's sorry." " Wait." "I didn't mean..." " Simon, shut it." "Officer DeGepse, do you accept Simon's apology?" " Officer Degepse?" " Yes?" "Good, you see." "Simon apologized and the officer graciously accepts." "No." "No." "Wait!" "As long as we're making progress..." "I say we move ahead and release a few hostages... just as a show of good faith." "I will gladly nominate myself just to get the ball rolling." "What do you guys say?" "Now wait just a second." "There's ways to do this." "No, I think it's a good idea." "I'm all for it." "Who is that?" "I don't know." "Aren't you on the phone with everybody who's anybody around here?" " What does the Caller ID say?" " I don't have Caller ID." "Answer it." "Wait, wait, wait." "Just a second." "Hello." "Hello?" "Is anybody there?" " Who is this?" " You're the one who called." "Who is this?" "Who was it?" "I don't know." "Wrong number, I guess." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Okay, he just hung up on me twice." "That's just rude." "Hello." "Hello?" "Are you still there?" "Hey, guys, I'm gonna have to call you back, okay?" "Just keep chatting amongst yourselves." "So?" "Hey, don't look at me." "All right, then." "Nick here." "What's taking so long?" "Hey, it's the guy you keep hanging up on." " Shit." " So, your name's Nick, huh?" "Maybe." " Well, is it?" " No." "Oh, weird, total Deja vú right now." "Never mind." "So, uh." "Are you Jessica's boyfriend or something?" "Look." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "You have the wrong number." " You called me." " Right, then." "Uh, I had the wrong number." "Sorry to trouble you." "Bye." "Hey, stop calling me." " No." " What?" "No." "I said, no." "You can't just say no." "Yes, I can." "No." "You see?" "No." "No." "No, no, no..." "Who are you?" "I'm glad you asked." "Jason Taylor." "People call me Jinx." "So it seems like I've taken the first step." ""I'm on a hunt down after you."" "Nick." "Nick Rhodes." "What's going on here?" "Who are you?" "What do you know?" "How do you know?" "What's the deal?" "That's been my theme ever since I locked myself in this fricking vault." "You?" "You're in the vault?" "Yeah, that's what I said." "Am I getting bad cell reception?" "I know a spot up in the corner if you really want me to go up there." "Who are you?" "Jinx." "And I think we've covered that." "Who are you?" "Nick." "God!" "What?" "What?" "He did it again." "I hate this guy." "If I see your men any closer than twenty-five yards..." "I'm putting holes in these walking body bags." "I hear you." "I hear you." "Excuse me, but I think you'd better answer that." "It could be Jinx." "Yeah, yeah, You're right." "Hold on." "Hello, Jinx." "How's it going?" "I think we're making real progress out here." "Hey, Jinxy." "Is that you?" "Is there anything you might want to tell or say to me?" "Anything to tell?" "Like an update?" "Something like that." "Things are going fine." "Just fine." "maybe a little bit behind schedule." "Anything in particular slowing things up?" " Like?" " Some guy locking himself in the vault." "Who somehow has full knowledge of our identities... our cell numbers, and has the ability to dial 911." "Handing you a first-class pass to ass class... in the federal penitentiary." "That sort of thing." "Okay, we do have one small dilemma." "Quite similar to the one you just described." "Is there anything else you'd like to add?" "Not really." "Okay, is there anything else you not like to add, then that I should know?" "Well, you know the guy you just, you just described." "He's taken one of our people hostage in the vault." "And uh..." "We're uh..." "We're locked out with no way in." "Thank you." "I truly appreciate your candor." "And a tactical analysis?" "What would that currently be?" " Fucked." " Great." "Okay, let me get back to you with a backup plan... that should solve a few problems." "Really?" "That'd be great." "Maybe not." " Hello." " I want to make a deal." "A deal." "I do." "As I figure it, 50% of something is a lot better than 100% of nothing." "Yeah... and?" "And frankly, "nothing" is all I've got right now." "So, what do you want?" "What's it going to take?" "You know what." "Hold that thought." "I'll be right back." " Hello." " I want to make a deal." "Come again?" "I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot." "I'd like to start over and introduce myself." "I'm Nick." "I'm calling to cut you in on this thing." "So a deal, okay." "So what's the deal with a deal, Nick?" "It is "Nick," isn't it?" "I apologize for the pseudonym." "It's not that I don't trust you, it's just sort of an occupational hazard." "Oh yeah, I..." "I understand." "I get it." "It's not like my name's really "Jinx" either." "It isn't?" "No." "It is." "It is my name." "Hey that's okay." "Perfectly valid." "Anyway, what can I do for you, Nick?" "Jinx, we have a bit of a situation here." "And I think it's down to you and me to figure this thing out." "You and me?" "Okay." "I'm going to put the cards on the table." "You have something I need." "Information." "Information my associates are no longer in a position to offer." "I propose we adapt, evolve, grow some balls." "Walk ourselves out of this quagmire." "I'll cut to the chase." "What do you want?" "My twenty bucks." "I'm sorry." "Did you say twenty bucks?" "I don't want to be rude... but I think you might want to revise that number." "You think?" "Like what?" "Like look around you." "I'd add a few zeroes to that twenty-dollar figure of yours." "And I just walk out with everything." "You don't want any piece of this money?" "All I need is for you to walk over to the computer terminal... and generate a PIN number for me." "Easy as pie." "Same arrangement I had with them." ""If it ain't broke don't fix it,"right?" ""If it ain't broke..."" "Right." "Yeah." "So, I walk." "And you have no problem selling out Simon and Jessica." "And whoever else just for a little info?" "This must be a pretty valuable PIN number." "Things change." "We adapt, right?" " Bullshit." " What?" "I said bullshit." "You had no intention of letting these guys out of here!" "Did you, Nick?" "What are you talking about?" ""If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Right?" "In fact, that reminds me of something a friend once said." ""Breaking" into a bank is what screws you... because "breaking in" takes time and time is what gets you caught." "So how do you rob a bank without "breaking in?"" "Unlock everything at once?" "Fast and efficient?" "Use this computer, a few codes, then grab and go?" "I don't think so." "If you knew enough to get these codes... and what to do with... then you knew this vault door would seal up as soon as an alarm was tripped." "You're trapped." "So, while the codes seem like a good idea, they're nothing more than bait... just means to some other end for you." "In other words, the codes are bullshit." "It's really about that innocent little PIN... which I'm betting is worth a lot more than anything else in here." "But the only way to get that PIN is in this vault." "I don't know, just a working theory." "All right there, Columbo... you seem to be answering a lot of unasked questions for an "innocent"bystander." "What the hell are you getting at?" "Hey, it's not for nothing... but I didn't ask to be locked in this frickin' vault!" "All I ever wanted was my twenty bucks but no!" "Some greedy bastard decided it was a great idea... to increase his bank's profit margin... fire tellers to lower corporate costs... close branches, install endless ATM machines... surcharging my ass to kingdom-come... until I can't afford my own twenty bucks." "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" "I'm glad you asked." ""Insufficient Funds" means I had to walk... my ass into the only Union Federal I could find to withdraw my money... but it was already having a large withdrawal made, i.e. being robbed... which was perfectly fine by me... until some jack-ass pointed a gun at me." "This guy gets all jumpy, tries to blow my head off... his gun jams and I run for cover in this vault... which proceeds to lock behind me locking me in this vault... where I literally run into some super hot chick whom I'm trapped with... which sounds great except she proceeded to punch me in the face... ruining my otherwise wonderfully boring day... and wasting my pedantically precious time." "Bummer." "So screw it, screw service fees and screw you!" "You and all the corporate "convenience" criminals... are equally fucked in your high- tech heists." "You can't keep screwing guys like me... and then add a surcharge for it." "I'm taking charge of the surcharge." "In short, blow me." "I want answers." "You are having a bad day." "Please, go on." "The real question is, how do you get in this vault without getting trapped in it?" "My guess is, you don't do it at all." "You don't care... if your anonymously hired guns get trapped... as long as they are in the vault." "Because as long as you had someone in the vault... you had what you wanted, almost." " So, fuck you, I'm hanging up." " No." "Fuck you!" "You're not hanging up." "You know why?" "Because you don't have your four precious little numbers." " What the?" " Jessica." "Name's Jessica." "I'm one of the ones you set up to screw." " Yeah." "It almost hurts, doesn't it?" " What?" "I'm glad you asked, it's called "Exploding Noema."" "It's a theory about the moment... you can't reconcile the difference... between your perception of what should be... versus the reality of what is" "I find, completely screwing someone with a classic double-cross... only to find they're now your only hope... will pretty much explode your noema." "But, I'm betting that moment's past now and..." "I'm betting you're more in the dealing mood." "You want your precious PIN?" "There's gonna be a surcharge." " So, what's it going to be Nick?" " Okay." "Jessica, are you okay?" "I'm fine." "I think someone cut the power in here." "You think?" "Who cut the power then, and why, what's going on... you know, that sort of thing?" "I don't really know, but it's not good." "Nick, we're gonna have to call you back." "We have to fix this." "I don't have a handle on this whole thing... but it's pretty apparent that our fate and any possible fortune... is in that computer." "Nobody panic, okay?" "Let me make a phone call." " Oh, hey there." " Hello?" "Hey, what happened?" "I don't know, I've been on hold this whole time with you." "Are you trying to keep me waiting?" "I have to admit... nice negotiation tactic... you had me going there for a while." "No." "I just forgot about you." "How did you forget about me?" "I was... busy, that's all." "Busy?" "You're locked in a vault." "What the fuck could you be doing to keep you busy?" "You worry me now, Jinx." "Oh, I'm sorry really." "Please, don't worry." "Officer DeGepse was just talking me through this crisis." "It's been very stressful for me." "I didn't let him know anything really." "I figured you'd want me to keep him waiting while you..." "And I make some sort of a deal." "Okay." "Okay." "Good thinking Jinxy." "That was good." "All right, it's you and me." "About that deal..." "Well, first, what happened?" "It's frickin' dark in here." "I think they cut the power." "Don't sweat it." "They just do this to be intimidating." "First order of business is that we reach an agreement." "Then we'll negotiate with the cops... free some hostages in exchange for putting the power back on..." "Hold on." "Hold on." "Hold on I think my batt..." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Think he's trying to communicate with us?" "Hello?" "Officer DeGepse here." "How are you two holding up?" "Oh, hey there." "Yeah, we're okay." "Any change of status in there?" "It's pretty dark in here." "Eyes are just starting to adjust." " Uh, not really." " Good." "Good." "I need you to sit tight and..." "We need him to turn the power back on or we're screwed." "Sorry, what was that?" "I missed the last part." "I said, do you have any other way of contacting Simon?" "He says he has no way of contacting Simon?" " Why?" " Good question." "Uh." "Why?" "Because this Simon character has tossed his phone for no apparent reason... his actions are growing increasingly irrational... and I would like to prevent any regrettable incidents before they occur." "Unfortunately, I now have no way of contacting him." "All right, we'll see what we can do." "What do we do?" "We can't ask for Simon's help because... we'd have to make him a deal." "And making a deal with Simon is pointless... because like it or not, at this point, he's shit out of luck." "We could... ask for Simon?" "DeGepse here." "I got through to Simon." "He has a few demands." "He says he's finished negotiating and... unless you give him something, you know, as a show of good faith." "Go ahead, what are his demands?" "One." "He wants a civilian chartered helicopter on the roof within 15 minutes." "Two." "He walks with half the money and no one gets hurt." "And three, he wants the power on so he can get the show on the road." "Personally, I wouldn't give that schizoid asshole anything... unless it was something totally useless, like..." "I don't know, like turning the power back on." "I'll try to convince him that turning the power on is, just a start." "May as well try, he sounds desperate and willing to throw it all away." "You say he sounds desperate?" "You really think he's to the point of throwing it all away?" "I told you they were trying to tell us something... with that whole "chucking-the-cell phone-at-your-head" thing." "Tell them the power will be back on in a minute." "*TIP 8 DON'T GET GREEDY*" "That's a start." "Get what's his name back on the phone... and I'll get this thing booted up and ready for whatever." "Hello." "So, listen up." "Believe me when I tell you this whole thing is going south." "So, whatever it is you were planning to do..." "I'd suggest we do it... and whatever deal we need to make..." "I suggest we make it... or none of us are going anywhere or getting anything... anytime soon, except maybe ten to twenty in San Quentin." "So, what's it going to be?" "Good to hear from you too." "Dude." "Shut it." "The police cut the power." "No power, no computer... no computer, no point." "You count on that little hic-up?" "God." "Really?" "No." "I didn't." "Well, you can thank me later." "It's back up for the moment." "Unless you tell me what our little team here is about to do... this whole thing's going to be over before it began." "Is the computer on?" "I believe we're good." "Enter that number in the "Personal Identification Number" sub-menu." "In that page, you'll see four digits corresponding to an ATM card." "Click that option... and read me the four digits that appear in the box." "It is that easy." " No." "It's not." " I'm sorry?" "Last time I checked, there's no "l" in "team"... or "felony grand theft of a federal reserve bank."" "You get that number and you're gone." "That PIN number belongs to an ATM card I don't have... which belongs to an account I don't have." "So unless you can find... a way to share your little high-tech heist you're stuck." "I suggest you begin by telling me what we're stealing." "And the clock's ticking." "Okay." "Fine." "Nickels and dimes." "Lots of them." "What?" "Why?" "Why are we stealing change?" "Why?" "Because I could." "Getting greedy with what you want to steal will only get you caught." "You have to ask yourself "why" you think you can get away with it." "Know "why"and the "what", "where" and "how" will follow." "Okay, so how are we gonna rob a bank and actually get away with it?" "Ever notice how everything has some piddly-ass surcharge added?" "Yeah." "Now you're speaking to the choir, my friend." "Now I need you to listen closely and be really honest here." "Shoot." "Do you always balance your checkbook?" " I've done it." " Yeah, right." "Even if you do, have you ever checked to see if a bank didn't charge you... a surcharge for an ATM transaction?" "You had me at checkbook." "Which brings us back to "why." It's simple." "The world is too complicated to keep track of." "Life is made of a million moments, trans actions... passwords and pin-numbers to memorize." "It's not that we don't want to keep track... it's just that it's not worth our time until you add it up." "How do we rob a bank and why will we get away with it?" "Add up the chump change." "We're stealing surcharges." "And it's missing money no one is missing." "What about the bank missing?" " We have a problem." " Yeah, that's what I said." "No." "It's another kind of problem." "I wasn't planning on getting locked in here." "We've been in here for hours." "I couldn't hold it forever." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Okay." "Of course." "Well." "I just won't look." "All right... wait, I've got an idea!" " Nick, hold on." " What's going on?" "Don't ask." "What are you doing?" "No way!" "Beggars can't be choosers, man." "So, what about the bank noticing?" "Okay." "Well, like I said, you never rob the bank... at least not noticeably." "Stop it..." "So, what if, for every dozen ATM transactions... you simply divert one surcharge into an account already set-up... within the bank." "Nothing more than missing nickels... and no way to track it." "Yeah." "I'm all for the economics lesson... but what are we really talking about here?" "Honestly?" "This is the only choice you have if you ever wanna see any of that money?" "Okay." "Eight million two hundred sixty six thousand five hundred dollars." "Can you hear me now?" " That's a lot of transactions!" " Those nickels and dimes add up." "And no one's on to you?" "Why?" "The stolen money never left the bank." "The irony is, it is all just sitting in legitimate Grant Liberty accounts." " Waiting to be withdrawn." " That's right." "As long as you have a valid PIN number to those accounts... you can just slowly withdraw it... using nothing more than an ATM card." " No one would ever notice!" " How to rob a bank." "And actually get away with it." "If I'm not mistaken, we'd better work out a deal... before there's nothing worth working out." "So, you give us your account numbers... and we'll assign the PIN to a new ATM card." "No deal." "If I just give you the accounts..." "Giving you the accounts is like giving me the PIN." "No guarantee the other won't take off with it all." "Okay." "What now?" "Somebody just has to trust somebody." "I don't suppose my good word would be sufficient?" "Honor among thieves and all that?" "Wait." ""Insufficient funds."" "That's what got my ass into all this in the first place." " Yeah!" "Your twenty bucks, surcharges." " No." "My PIN." "We assign my PIN number to "Nick's" accounts." "That way only I know my PIN... and only "Nick" has the card and the accounts." "And?" "You see, you can't use the ATM card without my PIN number... and without the card and the accounts, the PIN is useless." "We don't have to trust each other." "We can meet and use the two together... and go our separate ways." "Works for me." "Just hold on to that idea." "I'd better get this." "Hello?" "All right the power has been up for over ten minutes now... and still no word from anybody in there." " Have you heard anything?" " Uh, not really, well, you see..." "What?" "I didn't know what else to do." "I think we're out of time." "Hey, what's up?" "This is it." "It's now or never." "Either we go with Jinx's plan... or that money just sits in the bank forever." "Okay, you're right." "A couple a million bucks is better than none, right?" "Just go to the computer... do what I told you before you have Jinx enter his PIN." "All right." "Jinx." "What is it?" "I don't know." "What if we get caught?" "What if we end up serving life?" "Life?" "Right." "See, I don't know about you, Jinx... but this hasn't felt like much of a life to me." "Just some anonymous hired hand." "Is this my life?" "This for the rest of my life?" "Is your life about $1.50 surcharges... playing bitch-boy to every Simon and Grant Liberty?" "When are we going to make some choices of our own?" "Today has been... different." "I think this is it." "You know, I think this is life." "Choices like this." "You know, our lives aren't some big monumental moment." "It's a choice here, and a choice there." "Life is made up like that, of these tiny moments." "I think I'm sick of this life." "So..." "How big can we make this moment Jinx?" "And get a life." "Are you insane?" "This is a tiny moment to you?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Yeah." "It's a big moment." "It's a... yeah." "But the principle's the same." "Make a choice." "What are we gonna do?" "What are you going to do?" "I'm going to get my twenty bucks..." "and then some." "Right." "Yeah." "Let's do this." "Enter your PIN." "So, this little box is the key to our fortune, huh?" "There." "That's it." "We're done." "Now what?" "Now, we go." "Excuse me... guys?" "It just occurred to me." "We have a problem." " What's up?" " Well, you have no way out." " What?" " Well, she doesn't have a way out." "What do you mean?" "She's got the scam with the cops." "They think she's one of the hostages." "Okay, well, that doesn't solve the "Simon problem."" "Even if you wait until the cops storm the place... he's not going quietly." "He can easily turn her in when he finds out she's not busted with him." "No, no." "Not after all this." "Hold on." "Officer DeGepse here." "I'm sorry my signal died, but I'm back in a good zone." "Great, any news?" "Simon says he appreciates your show of good faith... and in return, he's willing to release two hostages." " Me and Jessica." " No shit?" "Really?" "Okay, okay, we got you covered." "We got you covered." "Look." "Okay, look." "Listen... make your way out slowly and we'll take care of the rest." "This will all be over soon." "So, I'll tell Simon you're ready for the release." "Now, we're cooking with gasoline." " Do you have any way of reaching Simon?" " Yeah, I can call Roger." " Who?" " His muscle." "The other guy on the team." "He gave me his number in case there were complications." "I think this qualifies as a complication." "Nick, we're gonna call you back." " Hello?" " I gotta talk to Simon." "He's kinda busy at the moment." "Who is this?" "Roger, put him on the phone." " Hello?" " Hey, it's me, Jinx." "Hey Jinx, what's up?" "I have to admit you've really got me worried now." "Sorry for the wait, but we better make a deal fast." " I got off the phone with DeGepse." " What did he say?" "He says that if they don't see cooperation from you within 5 minutes... they are storming the place with SWAT." "Shit!" "Shit..." "Shit!" "Shit..." "Shit!" "Shit..." "Shit!" "Shit!" "Okay." " What do they want?" " You're not going to like it." "What?" "!" "What is it?" "They want at least one hostage released and..." "And what?" "One of you has to turn yourself in." "Fine." "They can have Jessica." "Really?" "You'd turn her in?" "Just like that?" "What do I care?" "You want out and I want in." "Take Jessica as your insurance... and the cops get their precious negotiation pawn." "Sounds like a plan." "What's wrong?" "This is our way out." "That might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." "Really?" "Right." "Let's get the hell out of here." "What are you doing?" "I'm setting up our next rendezvous outside this vault." "Really?" "Is that a second date?" "You'd better tie me up." "So Simon still thinks I'm still your hostage." "You wish." "You want to help me with this?" "Is this good?" "That's good." "All right, I'm coming out." "I don't want any trouble!" "I imagined you taller." "Fuck me, Jinx." "Nice Attitude!" "You've come a long way today." "I can't go out there like this." "I'm supposed to be a hostage like you, not your hostage." "They're gonna know something is up." "You're supposed to be my hostage for Simon's sake... if we want to get away with this." "What do you suggest we do?" "Be careful that thing's loaded." "Shit." "Wait one fucking minute you two!" "Go, come on." "Put your gun down!" "Put that gun down, motherfucker!" "Move." "Move, motherfucker!" "Do you understand me?" "You have the right to remain silent." "If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you." "Do you understand the rights I have just stated." "Out of the way, come on." "Got it." "Oh can you hear me?" "Damn." "How about now?" "Yes, loud and clear." "Good, okay, where were we?" "Chump change." "The dime you don't even bother picking up is... the same dime we all get bent- over for." "So, surcharge the surchargers!" "I agree." "But there is one flaw in your plan." "Oh, a flaw in my plan?" "If we've got the PIN and you've got the accounts... what happens next?" "What happens when we meet?" "Trust the fatal flaw." "Well, there's only one answer." "Did you know that statistics say that 98% of all convicted criminals... have successfully committed at least one previous crime... before they were caught?" "That means almost everyone gets away with it at least once!" "They had a good thing." "But no, they had to go try their luck again." "Oh." "By the way, tip 10..." "Know when to walk away."