"It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town...." "Mostly because she cleans our apartment." "Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?" "You mean, why is there silverware in the _pancake drawer_?" "Wuhuh!" "Hey, those nuts are for my brother, please don't eat 'em all!" "Baby, why you makin' such a big deal about your brother coming, anyway?" "He's my baby brother!" "I practically raised him!" "Now, I want you to try and get along with him this time?" "If you do, I promise to fulfill that fantasy of yours" " - but not with the weird outfit, and none of those crazy toys." "So we'd just have normal sex...." "If I'm not sleepy!" "Deal." "What's up with you and her brother, anyway?" "Did something happen at her mother's funeral?" "Hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Just so you know, this is a rental and I got the mileage right up here, so no joy-rides, comprende?" "Turk!" "This is my brother, Marco!" "Sorry for your loss...." "I mean, who wears a vest to a funeral, anyway, man?" "The amazing thing wasn't that Carla's brother hated Turk..." "Marco!" "Carla!" "...it was that he was able to keep it up without even speaking the same language." "Okay." "Esta J.D." "Y te conoce Turk." "What's happening?" "Jackass." "Dude, you were wearin' a vest!" "Vesto!" "Still, I had my own problems." "Even though she had a boyfriend, I was still crazy about Elliot." "And, God bless her, she wasn't making it any easier." "Hey." "What are you doing?" "All the beds are taken." "Scoot." "Bunk with The Todd!" "J.D., you know that he is a sleep humper." "Sometimes when I'm banging this mattress, I'm thinking about banging that one!" "Hello?" "..." "Sean!" "?" "Where are you?" "..." "The west coast of New Zealand?" "I'm in the on-call room!" "..." "Hey, J.D.'s here!" "J.D., say hi!" "Uh!" "?" "Oh!" "You wanted to keep talking?" "How are you supposed to get over someone when you have to be around them all the time?" "This night could not get any worse." "Todd!" "You're having a dream!" "Wake up!" "Dude, I _am_ awake." "I'm having second thoughts about our giant nanny." "She's lovely and all, but every time the fridge is empty, she looks at our son like he's a plate of ribs." "Well, you shoulda let me hire the really skinny model." "At least if she ate Jack, she'd throw him up right after." "I got board meetings all day, but I'll see you for dinner tonight." "Bye, wife" "Rreowr." "Doug!" "Doug!" "I don't wanna be a doctor!" "Fine." "I'm gonna go ahead and tell you how it ends:" "Dr. Phil says, "And how...is that working out...for you?"" "And the big fat lady cries, "Wah."" "All right, I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position of residency director considering my disdain for, well...all of you." "Is it the extra four dollars a week in my paycheck?" "Or is it the fact that I finally have a chance to make a difference in this God-forsaken hell-hole." "It's all about the four dollars, trust me." "And seeing as my money is contingent on you lemmings actually doing your jobs," "I would say that now is a pretty good time for you to scurry on back to work so that I can continue to afford the antidepressants that keep me so damn jolly." "GO!" "Say, Angela...." "Oh, I think he means _me_, Angela." "I wonder what I did now." "Lookit, this new gig is a great opportunity for me, and I--I want it to go well." "And, for some reason, all these other bobble-heads seem to look up to you, so it would make my life one hell of a lot easier if you got in line behind me." "No problem." "I guess people can surprise you." "We'd still die." "We'd still what?" "If the elevator cable snapped, even if we timed it out perfectly and jumped up right before impact, we'd still be crushed to death." "I wish I'd taken the stairs." "Me too." "Sorry, sometimes I just have this inner monologue running through my head." "Inner monologue?" "Weirdo!" "That's my floor." "Lucky bastard." "Look, Mr. Shiny Head over there is pretending not to watch us." "You say something and I'll laugh so he thinks we're mocking him." "Marco, I'm not going to do that." "That's enough." "What'd I miss?" "It's come to my attention..." "Something's come to his attention." "...that some family members of our critically ill patients have been complaining because of the relatively small amount of time you all spend with their loved ones." "'Course, in Dr. Murphy's case that's probably a good thing." "Sir, if I could just take this chance to explain my disturbingly high mortality rate?" "Why don't I do that for you?" "You're a bad doctor." "Now, complaints are just a stone's throw away from lawsuits, so from this point on, I don't care how bleak a patient's prognosis is -- you are going to give each and every one of them the same amount of your time." "Unfortunately, our new residency director felt a little differently." "Dead." "Dead." "Dead." "Dead." "And, oh my goodness, if we don't have somebody here that we might be able to help." "Miss Bartow is thirty-six, she is septic, and she is in respiratory failure." "Dr. Weiss, I want you to draw three sets of surveillance cultures." "Mr. Murphy" "_Dr._ Murphy?" "...Just go ahead and get a steady BG." "We are going to try to wean her off of the vent today, so I want all of you people to give her most of your attention." "I say we listen to Dr. Cox, and do exactly what he says." "That's unbelievable." "But, Dr. Cox, earlier today Dr. Kelso was telling us that he wants" "Ugssshhhhh." "I don't ever want to hear anything that's come out of that man's mouth;" "unless, of course, it's "Oh, my God!" "I'm dying." "Now I'm moving towards the light." "But wait a minute, there's been a mistake!" "This is Hell!" "Hello, Hitler." "Hello, Mussolini." "Captain Kangaroo?" "_That's_ weird!"" "Don't you see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex." "Dolphin _trainer_ sex." "My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer." "Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you so interesting." "Too bad." "We are moving on!" "You heard him, people!" "We're moving on!" "Oh, God help me." "...God help him!" "My _God_, is there a sexier woman in the world?" "Mm." "I gotta go -- my chin hair is back." "Ohhhh, I wish she'd cut it off and give it to me." "Oh, GOD!" "I don't mind it at the movies, sitting alone." "But eating alone is sad and pathetic." "Are you stalking me?" "Nooo." "My sister just had a baby, so I'm doing the whole aunt thing." "Plus, it's a really great excuse to run away from a relationship." "My boyfriend just dumped me, so of course now I love him more than ever." "So, is there any chance of you guys getting back together?" "Well, he's engaged, and he's getting married in two weeks...but, yeah, I think so." "Unrequited love sucks, you know." "Yeah, it does." "You know what we need to do?" "Uhh...?" "Danni." "J.D." "Hi!" "Hi." "Danni, we need to move on, okay?" "No more thinking about our exes; no more waiting for the phone to ring;" "no more stealing her purse just so you can return it later in the hopes that she'll be so grateful, she'll use the money recovered to buy you a drink and _maybe_ have sex with you after." "Did that work?" "I stole the wrong purse. ..." "And, yes!" "Ahh, Mr. Blinky." "Te quela.(?" ")" "Sí." "Oh, hey Turk, why don't you play the next game with Marco?" "Baby, I--I hate PacMan." "Really?" "Because you have bed-sheets that indicate otherwise." "Fine, ask him." "Marco, can Turk play the next game with you?" "I don't want to be friends with your stupid, melon-headed boyfriend." "Baby, I don't understand why he just doesn't learn English." "I bet he's whining about how I don't speak English even though he's never bothered to learn Spanish." "He's trying to learn." "He's already got 'yes', 'no', and 'cheese'." "Hey!" "Somebody say something about cheese?" "'Cause if you gonna make a cheese run, holla at me, dawg!" "Baby, when we left the Dominican Republic, Marco never wanted to learn English." "He even went to boarding school in Puerto Rico." "Imagine what it's like to constantly feel like an outsider just because you're proud of your heritage." "But did you or did you not say something about cheese?" "God, darn you!" "Miss Bartow's systemic vascular resistance is falling, so the next couple hours are gonna be crucial, okay?" "Perry, the fact that these residents are spending most of their time buzzing around that one patient makes me think that you told them to disobey a direct order from me." "Bob Kelso, that's just not true." "Here, I told them to disregard _all_ direct orders from you." "I know you all think of me as some heartless monster;" "still, if your grandmother were here, wouldn't you want her doctor to spend as much time with her as he does with anyone else?" "Grandma Dorian or Nana Hobbs?" "Because Nana Hobbs can be an eensy bit racist." "Grandma Dorian." "She's dead." "The point is, sometimes what's best for this hospital _is_ what's best for the patients!" "I know it, you know it, and guess what, Dr. Cox knows it, too." "Although damned if he doesn't disagree with me just because I said it." "Sir, I don't think that's true." "Perry!" "It's hotter than hell in here!" "Freezing!" "Great coffee, though!" "Rat piss!" "Dr. Murphy is an incompetent suck-up." "No, Bob." "In fact, he's one of the finest young doctors I've ever had the good fortune of working with." "Your witness." "What are you doing?" "I'm calling my dad!" "Hey!" "Oh!" "Hey, how are you?" "Good." "So, I did it " " I talked to my ex." "And...?" "And I said, "Congratulations on the wedding, and I hope you two stay happy, and, by the way, size does matter."" "See!" "That's what happens when you finally have the courage to cut the cord!" "Before you know it, you'll be ready for someone new to come along." "Hey, you wanna go grab a cup of coffee?" "Ooh, I can't." "I got something really important to do." "Thanks, J.D. I am so tense." "Someone stole my purse!" "It'll turn up...." "Once the dynamic of a relationship is established, it rarely changes." "Cheese?" "Man, I am so sick of you." "I'm sorry, but I...can't...understand...you!" "Yeah?" "Well, that talking slower and louder thing is not as helpful as you might think." "Geez!" "Can you believe this guy?" "Don't get me started." "Of course, if the dynamic does change, it's never as simple as you'd hope." "Hey, Newbie, listen, I got dinner plans with Jordan, and seeing as you're on-call, whatta you say you pull up a chair, here, in front of Miss Bartow?" "...Especially when it involves someone who's used to you following their lead." "Look, Dr. Cox, I'll take care of her, and I'll have my interns help, but you gotta know I have other patients, too, so...." "Maybe you didn't understand me, there, Violet." "I don't want you leaving her side, even if someone thinks they saw Justin Timberlake downstairs." "Now, dammit all, are you falling in line with me or not?" "I don't think so." "Okay, then." "It was a strange feeling not doing what Dr. Cox wanted me to do." "Still, I knew I was right." "Oh, God, if Jordan knew I was the reason Dr. Cox canceled dinner tonight, she'd give me the stink-eye and then twist my nurples off." "Calm down, tiger." "She doesn't know." "She knows!" "She knows!" "Don't worry, guys." "I'd never let her hurt you." "I'm going to grab my stuff and we'll go." "Baby!" "There you are." "He speaks English!" "Who?" "Your brother; he speaks English." "Yo, tell her you speak English!" "What?" "Don't "que" my-- "Que," my ass! "Que," my ass!" "You were there, and you saw the whole thing." "Now you tell her." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Turk, I would know if my own brother speaks English!" "Let's go, Marco." "J.D.!" "You know all those pictures of us from when we were going out?" "Do you still have those?" "Filed alphabetically in my "Elliot Cabinet"." "I don't know...." "I might...." "Why?" "Well, you know the picture of us at the beach, where I actually look good and you think that you look like Bjork?" "Yeah." "Well, I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I cut you out of it, and used it in a collage that I'm making for Sean?" "No problem!" "Thanks!" "Whoa." "How's the whole moving on thing going?" "It's going great, Danni!" "In opposite world!" "Well, I just wanted to say goodbye." "I was gonna stick around for a few more days, but I don't really feel like that there's a reason to. ..." "Is there?" "Probably not." "I'm gonna miss you." "I'm gonna miss you, too." "Dude, we just met " " I was kidding." "Oh!" "That was good!" "No!" "No, I was doing the same thing!" "Adios." "Drive safe." "Hey, Barbie." "How's about you sashay on over here, push those rock  roll bangs out of your face, and keep those peepers on Miss Bartow's hemodynamics!" "Oh, first I've gotta discharge Mr. Hale, then get a _____ on Mrs. Peterson, and then, to be perfectly frank, perform a thong extrication on Ms. Reid." "Hey, _your_ last name is Reid!" "Doug." "I have underwear in my butt." "After that, though, I'll totally swing back by here." "You're losing them!" "Oh, don't get me wrong, you had me worried there was gonna be a bunch of young Dr. Coxes roaming the halls, calling me "Bobbo", shaving my genitals when I pass out at the Christmas party...." "Tradition is tradition, Bob." "Yeah...." "Then I remembered that you've been here over ten years, and there's not a single disciple of yours to be found." "And you know why?" "You told 'em this exact same story and bored 'em to death?" "No." "It's because eventually they all start questioning the gospel according to Cox, and you can't handle that." "Can you?" "Hey, jackass." "Hello, Marc." "I'm guessing Carla's not around." "She's in the bathroom, cepillar sus dientes." "Hey, baby." "Gimme some of that minty breath." "Noooooo, not in front of my brother -- that stuff always makes him uncomfortable." "Oh, really?" "I just wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting by loving you up and down, and all around!" "Turk!" "Baby, he can't understand you!" "Now let's go put some more of your footprints on the ceiling!" "That's it, you son of a bitch!" "I told ya!" "So black people can get black eyes, too, huh?" "Who knew?" "I haven't had one this bad since your Nana Hobbs threw that rock at me." "She thought you were robbing the house." "J.D.!" "Did you hear, Miss Bartow's completely stabilized!" "I don't wanna see you around here anymore, okay?" "All right, come on you guys, you all got work to do!" "Newbie, maybe I wasn't clear enough with you on Miss Bartow over there." "Here it comes." "I'm incompetent." "I'm a girl." "I'm a little girl." "I'm a little girl with pigtails that rides a tricycle." "No." "Well...yes, but I am honestly trying to tell you that I don't think I was being clear with you before." "In fact, I think I was being a pretty lousy teacher." "Look, I think putting one in the "win" column every now and then is what gives us the juice to keep plugging along in games that we know deep down we're not gonna win." "And that's why I locked in so intensely to that patient." "Because opportunities, they..." "God, they come along so rarely in this place." "And when they do, you just can't let them slip through your fingers." "You cannot." "You know?" "I think I do." "I wasn't sure what I was hoping for. ..." "That somehow Danni had decided not to leave... that she'd snapped her leg in the parking lot...." "DANNI!" "?" "Yo." "...All I knew was I'd missed an opportunity." "So when I was a senior in high school, you heard me talking to my friends in English about going on the pill?" "No, I just learned English a few years ago." "Well, good, because I wasn't on the pill, and I'm not now." "I've never had sex." "I hope it's fun." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I don't know." "Mom died, and now you're getting married." "You and I have always had a special connection." "I guess I just didn't want to lose that." "Blah, blah, blah, blah." "Sorry, sweetie." "Sorry...s-sweetie." "And Turk, you don't mind if every now and then Marco and I speak Spanish to each other, right?" "Baby, fo'shizzle-dizzle." "Do your thizzle, 'cause I'm up out this pizzle." "Chach!" "See, we got our own secret language, too." "Eh-ha!" "What did he say?" "I have no idea." "Jackass!" "No one knew her last name, no one even remembered seeing her." "I started to wonder if Danni was even real." "I guess that's the thing about life." "You don't really" "Hey, J.D." "Excuse me!" "" "You don't really get many second chances." "Oh!" "Danni!" "Hi!" "I'm sorry, sometimes I have this inner monologue running through my head." "Oh." "Weirdo!" "I'm having dinner with my sister tonight, but I swear I'm leaving after that." "Don't." "Stay here with me, we'll get that cup of coffee." "I'm not gonna stick around for one cup of coffee." "Okay, two cups...and some pie." "Finally, I found a girl with no complications." "Oh, I see you've met my sister!" "Oh, come on."