" I'M UPSET RIGHT NOW." "TALK TO ME." "I'M GONNA DO ME" "AND HAVE A GOOD TIME DOWN IN JERSEY." " I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY, AND I AM SORRY." " DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WAITED FOR THAT?" " I'M JUST FLIRTING AND HANGING OUT." " OH, MY VAGINA'S OUT." "WHOA!" " CAN YOU GRAB MY PURSE?" "LET'S GO." "I DON'T NEED YOU TO GET ARRESTED FOR THIS [bleep]." " I'M A GOOD PERSON." "[Get Crazy by LMFAO]" " DJ PAULY DELVECCHIO!" " I'M GOING TO THE JERSEY SHORE, BITCH!" " ALL RIGHT, WE GOT A SITUATION." " I'M THE SWEETEST BITCH YOU'LL EVER MEET." " [laughing]" " AFTER I HAVE SEX WITH A GUY, I WILL RIP THEIR HEADS OFF." " GO VINNY!" "GO VINNY!" " UM, HELLO!" " ¶ IF YOU WANNA HAVE FUN AND DO SOMETHING CRAZY ¶ [police radio chatter, handcuffs tighten]" " I NEED TO CALL HER DAD" "BEFORE HE FINDS OUT FROM SOMEONE ELSE." "WHAT IS IT CALLED?" "DRUNKEN INDECENCY?" "DRUNKEN..." " INTOXICATION IN THE PUBLIC?" " DRUNKEN PUBLIC INTOXICATION?" "HI, IS THIS SNOOK'S DAD?" "HI, MR. POLIZZI, IT'S JWOWW." "NICOLE JUST GOT ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION." " OH, [bleep]." "OKAY." "ALL RIGHT, CALL ME, JWOWW," "AS SOON AS YOU PICK HER UP AND GET HER." " OKAY, AND I'LL TRY AND HAVE HER CALL YOU," "BUT IF NOT, I'LL STILL CALL YOU BACK" "WHEN I PICK HER UP." " ALL RIGHT, HONEY, THANK YOU." " NO PROBLEM." "BYE." " YEAH, BYE-BYE." "[dials] [phone rings]" " HELLO?" " HI." " HI." " I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT CALLING." "[sniffs]" " OKAY." "WHY?" " THEY JUST ARRESTED NICOLE." " FOR WHAT?" " FOR BEING DRUNK AND AN IDIOT." " SO SHE GOT ARRESTED TODAY." "OKAY, SO THEN WHAT THE [bleep] HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?" " NO [bleep]." " I GET [indistinct] IN A [bleep] PHONE CALL." " I KNEW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN." "THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO [bleep] CALL HIM." "TOM NOT CARING ABOUT NICOLE AND HIM YELLING AT ME," "IT'S SHOWING A SIDE OF TOM THAT I DON'T LIKE" "AND A SIDE THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE," "AND THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF." "DON'T THINK THAT ME NOT CALLING THE NIGHT BEFORE" "IS PRIORITY OVER NICOLE BEING ARRESTED RIGHT NOW." " WHAT HAPPENED?" " NICOLE WAS BOMBED." "THEY FIND HER ON THE BEACH, COMPLETELY BELLIGERENT." "WE COULDN'T GET HER OFF THE BEACH." "LIKE, IT WAS EMBARRASSING." " WHERE IS SHE?" " AT THE JAIL." "WE HAVE TO GO GET HER." "SHE GOT ARRESTED." " HELLO?" " HI." " GO [bleep] YOURSELF!" " YO, LISTEN" " IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE." "SHE HAS A PROBLEM." "SHE WENT TO WORK IN HER DRESS FROM LAST NIGHT." "[phone quacking]" "AND SLIPPERS." " HELLO?" " ARE YOU CALMED DOWN YET?" " NO." " O-OKAY." "WELL, LISTEN." "YOU GOT SOMETHING TO DEAL WITH RIGHT NOW." " I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DEAL WITH." "YOU'RE BEING A JERK-OFF." "I DIDN'T CALL YOU ONE NIGHT." "BIG [bleep] WHOOP!" " OKAY, SO YOU COULDN'T DO A FOUR-SECOND PHONE CALL?" "LIKE, WHO ARE YOU?" " WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO AM I?" "[bleep] YOU." " YOU-- [call waiting beeps]" " HELLO." " HI, IS JENNI THERE?" " THIS IS SHE." " HEY, UM, YOU CAN COME AND PICK HER UP." "THE LIEUTENANT ADVISED THAT WE CAN RELEASE HER." " THANK YOU SO MUCH." " FREE SNOOKI!" "FREE SNOOKI!" " YAY!" " ¶ CAN'T SOMEBODY HELP ME NOW ¶" "¶ TO BREAK ME OUT OF MY CELL ¶" "¶ I NEED YOUR TOUCH ¶" "¶ TO GET ME OUT OF THIS HELL ¶" "¶ ONLY YOUR LOVE CAN BREAK ME OUT OF MY SHELL ¶" "¶ 'CAUSE ONLY YOU HAVE THE KEY ¶" "¶ TO GET ME OUT OF THIS JAIL ¶" " I JUST HOPE JA" "UM, LIKE, PRISON TIME DIDN'T CHANGE YOU, GIRL." " OH, I'M "G" NOW." "DON'T [bleep] WITH ME." " A LITTLE BIT, GIRL." " I DID." " GO, GIRL." " YAY." "I'M SAVED." "GOING TO JAIL IS DEFINITELY EMBARRASSING," "BUT THE FACT THAT I HAVE THESE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE" "THAT ARE SUPPORTING ME AND THEY'RE HERE FOR ME," "THAT MAKES ME FEEL, LIKE, 100 TIMES BETTER." " WE HAVE HER BACK." "THANK GOD." " I'M EMBARRASSED." "WHY DID I GET ARRESTED?" "I DON'T UNDERSTAND." " YOU WERE A PUBLIC NUISANCE." "YOU WERE BEING A NUISANCE." " WHY?" " BECAUSE YOU WERE ROLLING AROUND IN THE SAND," "JUMPING IN THE WATER." " WAS I SCREAMING?" "OH, THIS IS A BAD SITUATION." " OH, OH!" " [mumbling]" "GET OFF ME." "GET OFF." "GET THE [bleep] OFF." "YEAH, THAT'LL DO IT." " THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY VERSUS NICOLE POLIZZI." " MY DAD'S GONNA-- SHOULD I CALL HIM?" " DON'T CALL DAD." " MY DAD IS YOUR TYPICAL ITALIAN," "CRAZY-ASS, PSYCHO DAD." "MY DAD'S GONNA [bleep] KILL ME, MAN." "I KNOW HE'S GONNA GIVE ME THE RUNDOWN." "DAD?" " YES." " OH, MY GOD." "I GOT ARRESTED, DAD." " I KNOW." " I COULDN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW I FELT IN THAT JAIL CELL." "IT WAS LIKE A [bleep] PHENOMENON." "OH, NOT A PHENOMENON." "A [bleep] TRAIN WRECK." "IT WASN'T FUN." " YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND" "WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY," "AND YOU SHOULD NOT PUT YOURSELF IN THAT POSITION, NICOLE." " IT'S NOT LIKE I KILLED SOMEONE." " LISTEN, YOU SHOULD BURY YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND" "WITH EMBARRASSMENT." " ALL RIGHT, WELL" " GET YOUR [bleep] TOGETHER, GIRL." " OKAY." " I SWEAR ON MY FATHER, NIC," "THE NEXT TIME, I WILL GET IN THE TRUCK" "AND COME DOWN AND [bleep] KICK YOUR ASS OUT," "AND IT WILL BE DONE." "AND I MEAN [bleep] DONE." "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" " PLEASE DON'T BE MAD." " NIC, IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF BEING MAD AT YOU." "I'M DISAPPOINTED." "I'M UPSET." " REALLY?" "THE WORST THING A PARENT CAN SAY TO THEIR CHILD" "IS "I'M NOT MAD AT YOU, I'M NOT UPSET WITH YOU," "BUT I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU."" " PROMISE YOURSELF" "THAT YOU'LL NEVER PUT YOURSELF IN THAT POSITION AGAIN." " LOVE YOU." " ALL RIGHT." "I LOVE YOU." " BYE." " BYE." " OH, MY GOD." "HE'S FREAKING OUT, MAN." " THAT'S A FATHER FOR YOU." " "I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU."" "THAT'S LIKE-- [blows raspberry]" " THAT WORD "DISAPPOINT" REALLY [bleep] HURTS THE HEART." " AFTER WHAT MY DAD SAID, I NEED TO BE SMART ABOUT THIS." "I CAN'T GO OUT AGAIN," "BECAUSE IF I DO I'M GONNA GET DRUNK, WASTED," "AND PROBABLY END UP BACK IN JAIL." "SO, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GONNA RELAX TONIGHT AND SLEEP." "I'M EXHAUSTED." "[laughter]" " LET ME SHOW YOU." "[laughter]" " SHE HAS SAND [bleep]." " SANDY [bleep]." " SANDY [bleep]." " HERE." "YOU WANT TO ROCK?" " EH, NAH." "GIRLS NEED THAT GIRL TIME" "TO SIT DOWN AND JUST LET EVERYTHING OUT" "THAT'S ON YOUR MIND," "BECAUSE THEN YOU'LL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER." "YOU KNOW WHAT REAL-- YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK IT IS?" "[bleep] EMILIO." "BECAUSE AFTER ALL THAT [bleep] WENT DOWN IN MIAMI," "I WAS NEVER AN ANGRY DRUNK." "WELL, I WAS, BUT I WASN'T THAT BAD." " DO YOU WANT ME TO BE BLATANTLY HONEST?" " YEAH." " I THINK YOU NEED TO FIND LOVE." "AND YOU'LL TRY AND FIND IT IN ANYONE." "AND, LIKE, YOU'LL MAKE GUYS" "THAT AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU" "GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU." "YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR DISASTER." " YEAH." " HAPPENS TO ALL OF US." " BUT I'M, LIKE, BAD WITH IT." " I KNOW." " IT'S KIND OF LIKE A DISEASE TO SNOOK FOR LOVE." "IT'S WORSE THAN A STAPH INFECTION." "IT JUST KEEPS EATING AT YOU AND EATING AT YOU," "AND THEN WHEN YOU DON'T FIND A GUY," "YOU JUST GET MORE MISERABLE AND MORE DEPRESSED," "AND IT'S JUST NOT A GOOD TIME." "THIS IS THE THINGS I THINK I'M ADDICTED TO." "BRONZER, BOYS, AND ALCOHOL." " YOU'RE NOT, THOUGH." " CAN WE PLEASE HAVE THESE THERAPY SESSIONS?" " YEAH." " AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK?" "I'M [bleep]ED UP." " ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" "THIS GUY LOOKS-- HE'S, LIKE, RONNIE'S TWIN." " YO, YO, GO LIKE THIS." "GO LIKE THIS." " OH, MY GOD!" " SEE ANYBODY YOU KNOW DOWN THERE?" " YEAH." " WHO?" " MY FRIEND ROGER." " YO, ROGER THAT." "R--R--ROGER THAT." "[cheers and applause]" " ¶ CATCH ME WHEN I WALK IN ¶" "¶ I'M THE FLYEST THING WALKING ¶" "¶ THEN I OPEN UP MY MOUTH ¶" " CABS ARE HERE." "MIKE, VINNY, AND PAULY LOVE GIRLS," "AND WHEN I'M DRUNK, I SEEM TO LOVE GIRLS," "SO I THINK I'M DEFINITELY GONNA BE THE WINGMAN OF TONIGHT." " THE CABS ARE HERE!" " CAB'S HERE." " LET'S DO IT." " ¶ YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE ¶" "¶ YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE ¶" "¶ WE ARE THE STARS ¶" " PRETTY BALLSY MOVE, COMING OUT WITH THE BOYS." " YEAH, IT'S DEFINITELY BALLSY." " GOT A LOT OF BALLS, GIRL." " AS WE'RE ENTERING BAMBOO, IT IS INSANE." "THERE'S--THERE'S A MASS AMOUNT OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE." "OH, PRETTY GIRLS." "GRENADES, LANDMINES." "EVERYBODY'S THERE, AND IT'S TIME TO HAVE A GOOD TIME." " ¶ GOT ME FLOATING, GOT ME GOING ¶" "¶ HYPNOTIZED WHILE I'M ON THE FLOOR ¶" " THAT'S HER FAVORITE POSITION." " YEAH!" "AND THEN YOU HAVE TO KISS ME AFTER." "[cheering]" " WHEN WE'RE ROLLING MVP," "WE DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE ROLLING WITH US REALLY," "BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, DINA," "SHE HAS A NICE ATTITUDE." "SHE NEVER [bleep] BLOCKS." "SHE NEVER HATES ON US." "SHE DOES HER OWN THING, AND SHE'S A GOOD TIME." "WE LIKE HANGING WITH HER." "SO SHE'S WELCOME TO HANG WITH MVP WHENEVER SHE WANTS." "YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH." "MVPD." " MVPD." " THANK YOU." "YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME OVER THERE?" "I MEET THIS GUY, HIS NAME IS DEAN," "AND I'M THINKING TO MYSELF, PERFECT SIZE," "NICE TEETH, GOOD MUSCLES." "THIS KID'S FRICKIN' HOT." "GOT THE LITTLE FAUX HAWK." "I LOVE IT." "NO, YOU DON'T GET IT." "FAUX HAWK IS, LIKE, MY BEST THING." " IS IT?" " DINA'S DANCING WITH A DUDE." "WE'RE LIKE, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"" "THIS GUY LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE RONNIE." "FROM AFAR, FROM THE PROFILE, FROM EVERYTHING." "HE LOOKS-- HE'S, LIKE, RONNIE'S TWIN." " WHAT'S UP, RON?" " HOW YOU DOING, MAN?" " THIS GUY DEFINITELY LOOKS LIKE RONNIE'S STUNT DOUBLE." "DINA, UH, YOU KNOW, POSSIBLY COULD BE" "FULFILLING SOME OF HER FANTASIES," "DEEP DOWN FANTASIES FOR RONNIE" "BY HOOKING UP WITH THE RONNIE LOOK-ALIKE." " YO, HE DANCES LIKE RONNIE TOO." " I KNOW." "WHAT THE [bleep]?" "I'M TELLING SAM." "I'M TELLING SAM." " YOU'RE, LIKE, MY PERFECT GUY." "YOU WANT TO GO HOME?" " I'LL GO BACK TO THE HOUSE." "I DON'T CARE." " WE'LL GO IN THE HOT TUB." " WHATEVER YOU WANT." " YAY!" "BYE." " YO, RONNIE, WAIT FOR ME, MAN." " YO, RONNIE." "WAIT FOR ME, RONNIE." " RON." "RON, YOU BEEN WORKING OUT YOUR TRAPS, BRO?" " SO ALL THE BOYS ARE HANGING OUT." "WE GOT VINNY, MIKE, PAULY, RONNIE." "GO LIKE THIS." "GO LIKE THIS." " OH, MY GOD!" "OH, MY GOD!" " YEAH, RONNIE, COME HERE, BRO." " COME ON, RONNIE." " I WANTED TO BRING FAKE RONNIE" "INTO RONNIE AND SAM'S BEDROOM," "SLIDE IN THE FAKE RONNIE STUNT DOUBLE," "AND SEE IF SAM REALIZES THAT IT'S A FAKE RONNIE." "YO, CAN--CAN WE SHOW YOU SOMETHING, SAM?" "SAMMI, LOOK." "SAMMI, I HAVE YOUR BOYFRIEND RIGHT HERE." "SAMMI, LOOK." " RONNIE'S STUNT DOUBLE." "RONNIE COULD, LIKE, BOUNCE FOR A WHILE" "AND JUST KEEP HIM HERE AT THE HOUSE." "[laughter]" " WHAT'S UP, BROTHER?" " WHAT'S UP, MAN?" "[laughter]" " THEY KNOW EACH OTHER!" " YO, LOOK AT THEM, BRO." " YEAH, MY GIRL" " OH, YOU SERIOUS?" " YEAH." " OH, THAT'S CRAZY." "HIS GIRLFRIEND'S NAME IS SAM." " OH, THAT'S SO CRAZY." " SAM, I'M GONNA BORROW RONNIE FOR A LITTLE BIT, ALL RIGHT?" "[laughter]" "HAVING A CLONE RONNIE IS PRETTY COOL." "WE GOT, LIKE, THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS." "WE GOT TO HANG OUT WITH RONNIE WHILE HE'S WITH SAM." " DUDE, YOU'RE GETTING WITH DINA TONIGHT?" " DUDE, YOU'RE CHEATING ON SAMMI?" " NO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, BRO?" "LIKE, IT HAPPENS, MAN." "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?" " CAN WE GO?" " GO WHERE?" " WANT TO GO PLAY?" " YEAH." " OKAY." " HAVE FUN." " I'M EXCITED," "BECAUSE I FINALLY HAVE A HOT JUICE BOX BACK TO THE HOUSE," "AND I'M GOING TO GET HIM IN THE HOT TUB." "YOU'RE, LIKE, MY PERFECT GUY." " REALLY?" "LIKE, WHY?" "LIKE, WHAT'S UP?" " FAUX HAWK, NICE TEETH." "GOOD PERSONALITY." "YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?" " RIGHT NOW, NO." "NOT AT ALL." "I MEAN, NOT REALLY, LIKE..." " YEAH, WELL, YOU JUST GAVE THE "EH."" " EH, NAH." "FOR REAL." " NO, DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?" "YOU CAN TELL ME." " NO, HONEST." "I SWEAR TO GOD." "NOT AT ALL." " JUST DON'T--TELL ME NOW IF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND." " LISTEN, I AM SINGLE AS THEY COME." " ALL RIGHT." " FOR REAL." "AND IF I DID HAVE A GIRL," "I WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW WITH YOU." " YOU'RE SO CUTE." " SAD THING IS, LIKE, HE'LL BE BACK WITH SAM TOMORROW." "RIGHT AFTER THIS, YOU KNOW." " I KNOW." " HOW DOES SHE JUST, LIKE, DO THAT TO SAMMI?" " YEAH, I KNOW." "AFTER THEY JUST MADE UP." "WHAT DO WE DO?" "LIKE, SHOULD WE TELL SAM?" " WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA." "WHY DON'T WE WRITE AN ANONYMOUS NOTE?" " YEAH." "OH, MY GOD." "LET'S DO IT." "WE'LL WRITE IT SO THEY WON'T EVEN THINK IT'S US." "WE'LL WRITE IT POLITICALLY CORRECT, SO BRING A THESAURUS." " RIGHT." " "DEAR SAM..." "RONNIE HOOKED UP WITH DINA IN THE HOT TUB."" " "IN LIEU OF..."" " "IN LIEU OF..." "RESULTING IN..." ""ENDING UP IN THE BED WITH YOU." "FOR THE MOST PART."" " RIGHT." " "THE THIRD PARTY."" " "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN."" " "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN."" " DON'T TELL HER WE WROTE IT." " OH, I'M NOT GONNA TELL HER, BRO." "BUT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW." "IT'S GIRL CODE." "OKAY, BOO BOO?" " WE'LL DO IT, BOO BOO." " I LIKE TO SNUGGLE." " YEAH?" "COME WITH YOU?" " YEAH." "BASICALLY, I HIT A HOME RUN." "I FOUND A GUY THAT I THINK IS HOT, MY TYPE," "AND THE BOYS LOVED HIM," "SO I WAS LIKE, "SCORE."" "DEAN DEFINITELY DIDN'T GET THE GOLDEN TICKET," "BUT, YOU KNOW, I GAVE HIM A SNEAK PEEK." " ¶ WHAT GIRLS, WHAT GIRLS ¶" "¶ LIKE ABOUT BOYS ¶" "¶ WHAT GIRLS, WHAT GIRLS ¶" "¶ LIKE ABOUT BOYS ¶" "¶ WHAT GIRLS, WHAT GIRLS ¶" "¶ LIKE ABOUT BOYS ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING ¶" " DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?" "ALL RIGHT, 'CAUSE WE HAVE TO LEAVE FOR WORK." " ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GO NOW TOO." " ALL RIGHT." " BYE." "SEE YOU LATER." " ALL RIGHT." "I'LL CALL YOU." " DEFINITELY." " WHAT A--NIGHT, MAN." " THAT KID STAYED WITH YOU?" " MM-HMM." " HE SLEPT WITH YOU?" " WE CUDDLED." " I THINK HE HAS A GIRL" "I'VE SEEN HIS GIRLFRIEND, LIKE, FIVE TIMES." " HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND?" " YEAH." " REALLY?" " MEN ARE PIGS." " HE KISSED [bleep] LAST NIGHT, SO..." "WHATEVER." " WHATEVER." " SORRY, GIRLFRIEND." "I DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH HIM." "THAT'S HOW YOU ROLL, GIRL." " TOM, NEXT TIME YOUR GIRLFRIEND CALLS YOU," "WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER" "WHO SHE WAS WITH AT KARMA BEHIND YOUR BACK?" "SHE'S JUST A SHADY BITCH." " I LOVE YOU." "[click, dial tone]" "THAT'S WHY I'M LEAVING YOU." "DOUCHE." " HOW YOU DOING?" "UM, I WAS WONDERING IF I CAN GET A CAB" "FOR EIGHT PEOPLE AT 11:00?" "ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU." " ¶ NOT NOW BUT RIGHT NOW ¶" " YO, I'M LOOKING FRESH, DOG." " [exhales]" " LET'S GO." " ONE DRINK." " CHEERS." " GOING TO THE CLUBS FOR THE FIRST TIME" "AFTER I GOT ARRESTED," "IT WAS ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD TIME," "BECAUSE I HAD, LIKE, A HEAD ON MY SHOULDERS" "WHEN I WAS DRINKING." " SEE, MIAMI IS-- IT'S A TON OF TOURISTS." "THERE WAS NOBODY THAT WERE REALLY KIND OF," "LIKE, LIKE US OVER THERE," "SO NOW IT'S, LIKE, ALMOST" "JERSEY'S LIKE US COMING HOME." "IT'S EVERYBODY THAT PARTIES OUT IN JERSEY" "ARE JUST LIKE US." "YOU'RE JUST FIST PUMPING THE NIGHT AWAY." " ¶ AND I LIKE TO DRINK ¶" "¶ DRINK, DRINK, DRINK ¶" "¶ I LIKE TO DRINK, DRINK, DRINK ¶" "¶ I LIKE TO DRINK ¶" " EVERYONE IN GENERAL IS HAVING FUN." "WE'RE ALL DRINKING, WE'RE ALL HAVING A GOOD TIME." "AND I SEE ROGER AGAIN," "AND I'M JUST KIND OF LIKE," ""LET'S SIT ON THE COUCH" "AND BREAK DOWN THE LAST 72 HOURS."" "OH." " BUT THE ANSWER I GOT WAS," ""I THINK IT'S NOT HIM,"" "SO I STILL HAVE NOT BEEN VERIFIED." "I COULD TELL ON LAUREN'S FACE" "THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO ADMIT THAT SHE WAS WRONG," "BUT IT'S NICE TO GET ALL THE BEEF SQUASHED," "AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT TO KIND OF START FRESH WITH ROGER" "AND SEE WHERE IT GOES." "[laughter]" " YO." " LOOK AT MY SITUATION, BRO." "LOOK AT MY" " EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW IN THE HOUSE IS GOING REALLY WELL." "RONNIE AND SAM ARE NOT FIGHTING," "AND IT'S ALMOST LIKE AN AVALANCHE OF GOOD ENERGY." "[phone quacking]" " HELLO." " HI." " HI." " WHAT'S GOING ON?" " I JUST GOT HOME." " OH, YEAH?" " WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" " I COULDN'T REALLY SLEEP." "WANTED TO SEE IF YOU WERE HOME YET." " OH." " SO HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?" " IT WAS FINE." " SHE'S WITH HER EX-BOYFRIEND AND THEN CALLS HER BOYFRIEND," "BUT I'M THE DIRT BAG?" "COME ON, BRO." " BRO, I'M TELLING YOU, BRO." "THEY'RE IN THEIR OWN WORLD." " CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK, DOG?" "IT'S KIND OF FUNNY," "BECAUSE JENNI LIKES TO BE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS," "LIKE SHE WAS IN MIAMI." " THAT MAN'S PUTTING HIS [bleep] IN OTHER [bleep]." " SHE'S LUCKY I DON'T GO WRITE TOM A NOTE" "AND BE LIKE, "TOM, NEXT TIME YOUR GIRLFRIEND CALLS YOU," ""WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER" "WHO SHE WAS WITH AT KARMA BEHIND YOUR BACK?"" "SHE'S JUST A SHADY BITCH." " IS THERE A REASON WHY YOU'RE BEING SO SHORT?" " I THINK WE SHOULD JUST HAVE THIS CONVERSATION TOMORROW." "I'M RIGHT HERE." "I'M NOT A BITCH, DUDE." "LET'S..." " YEAH, SURE." " EVERYTHING'S FINE." " OKAY." " AND I LOVE YOU, AND I'LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING." " ALL RIGHT." " IS THAT OKAY?" " YUP." " I LOVE YOU." "[click, dial tone]" "DOUCHE." " WE'RE HERE WITH THE FAMOUS JWOWW BOOBS." "WHO WORKS YOU BETTER, THE GORILLAS OR TOM?" "[laughter]" " OH, MY GOD." " SO YOU WEAR A HARD HAT?" " YEAH, COULD WEAR A HARD HAT..." " WITH YOUR SHIRT OFF AND, LIKE, BLUE JEANS?" "OH, MY GOD." "THIS IS, LIKE, WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE." " ¶ YOUR PICTURE ¶" "¶ I SAW HERE ¶" "¶ I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY MIND ¶" "¶ CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY MIND ¶" " WHAT'S UP?" " HEY, IT'S JENNI." " HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" " NOTHING, BUT..." " I'M ACTUALLY WITH ALEX RIGHT NOW." "WE'RE AT THE-- ON THE BOARDWALK." "WE'RE DOWN AT THE OTHER END." " YEAH, WE WERE ACTUALLY GONNA GO ON THE BOARDWALK, ME AND "D"." " WHY DON'T YOU HIT ME UP," "GIVE A CALL, LIKE, WHEN YOU LEAVE THERE," "AND WE'LL MEET YOU SOMEWHERE?" " ALL RIGHT." " OKAY." "SEE YOU THERE." " ROGER AND ALEX." " YAY." "[laughter]" "CUTE." " I THINK I HAVE, LIKE," "THOSE HIGH SCHOOL FEELINGS FOR ROGER?" "BUT, YOU KNOW, I STILL HAVE RESERVATIONS," "BECAUSE I AM WITH TOM," "BUT IT IS NICE TO TALK TO ANOTHER GUY." "[phone quacks]" " HELLO." " HEY, IS JENNI THERE?" " UH, YEAH, HOLD ON ONE SECOND." "JENNI?" " YEAH?" " TELEPHONE." " HELLO?" " HELLO." " HEY." " HI." "WHAT'S GOING ON?" " NOTHING." "I'M GONNA GO GET A COFFEE" "WITH "D" ON THE BOARDWALK." "I'M NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING" "ABOUT ROGER TO TOM UNLESS IT GOES FURTHER," "BECAUSE AS OF RIGHT NOW ME AND ROGER ARE FRIENDS" "AND WE'RE JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME." " BYE." " LOVE YOU." " I'M GONNA SEE WHERE I GO WITH ROGER," "AND I'M GONNA WAIT AND SEE IF IT GETS BETTER WITH TOM." " BYE, PAULY." " GUYS, BE CAREFUL." " ALL RIGHT." " ¶ I WAS SITTING IN ON NEW YEAR'S EVE ¶" "¶ AND MY LIFE WAS FEELING PRETTY UNTIDY ¶" " I MISS MY OTHER MEATBALL." " I CALL HER AND NICOLE MY MEATBALLS." " YOUR LITTLE MEATBALLS?" "I LIKE IT." "I'VE BEEN CALLED A MEATBALL BEFORE." " [laughs] HAVE YOU?" " YEAH." " ¶ YES, I LOVED YOU WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL ¶" "¶ BUT I NEVER TOOK THE CHANCE ¶" "¶ OF WRITING ¶" "¶ I'LL NEVER FALL ¶" "¶ IN LOVE AGAIN ¶" " AAH!" " I WANT TO HEAR ALEX IN HERE." " SHUT UP." " UGH." "I GOT TO, LIKE, MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF FOR THIS ONE." " I KNOW." " ¶ YOU WOULDN'T THINK... ¶" " I HONESTLY FEEL AT THIS POINT," "LIKE, TOM KIND OF PUSHED ME INTO ROGER'S ARMS." "LIKE, HE JUST PUSHED ME AWAY" "TO THE POINT WHERE I WANT TO SEE WHERE IT GOES WITH ROGER." "AND I'M FED UP WITH TOM NOT CARING ANYMORE" "BUT EXPECTS ME TO STICK AROUND." " WHERE'S NICOLE?" "I BOUGHT HER A PRIZE." " YOU OKAY?" "IT'S 5:30." "I KNOW THAT SHE'S HURTING REALLY, REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW," "SO I'M GONNA GIVE HER GIRL TIME." "WHATEVER I CAN DO TO HELP YOU GET THROUGH THIS," "I'M DOWN." " I DON'T WANT TO DRINK ANYMORE." " YOU DID LAST NIGHT, THOUGH." " I KNOW, 'CAUSE..." "FELT LIKE IF I WAS SOBER I'D BE BORED." "THAT'S A PROBLEM." " ARE YOU REALLY NOT GONNA DRINK, THOUGH?" "I MEAN, I'VE HEARD YOU SAY THIS BEFORE." " I KNOW, BUT, LIKE," "EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED," "THAT'S, LIKE, A WAKE-UP CALL." "TO DRINK OR NOT TO DRINK." " TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME." "ON THURSDAY NIGHT, WANT A GLASS OF PINOT," "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT." " OH, YEAH, I THINK PINOT'S OKAY." " EXACTLY." " PREGNANT PEOPLE DO IT." " EXACTLY." " HI, SNOOKI." "HI." "WHAT HAPPENED?" " GO TO BED." " WHAT?" "WHO'S GOING TO BED?" "YOU CAN'T TALK." "USE SIGN LANGUAGE." " WE NEED TO CHEER UP SNOOKI," "SO IT'S A PERFECT TIME TO WHIP OUT THE FLIP CAMS" "AND START VIDEOTAPING EACH OTHER." "SNOOKI POOF?" "WHAT HAPPENED?" "LIKE, I SAW YOU ALL THE TIME LAST SUMMER." " WHAT IT IS IS I FEEL NEGLECTED." " OH, OKAY." " THIS [bleep]DAMN BITCH WILL NOT ROCK ME," "BUT I'M STILL HERE." " ALL RIGHT, SO NOW WE'RE HERE" "WITH THE FAMOUS, FAMOUS JWOWW BOOBS." " WELL, UM, I JUST WANT TO FIRST POINT OUT" "THAT, UM, I NEVER REALLY WAS SMALL?" " OKAY." " I'M JUST NOW HUGE." " OH, OKAY." " AND I JUST STICK OUT THERE." "LIKE, I'M LIKE, "JWOWW." IT'S, LIKE, WOW." " I KNOW JENNI HAS BEEN WITH A LOT OF GORILLAS." "WHO WORKS YOU BETTER, THE GORILLAS OR TOM?" "[laughter]" " HE'S GONNA SUFFOCATE." " I CAN'T BREATHE!" "THE BOOBS ARE SUFFOCATING." " 'CAUSE I DID NOTHING [bleep] WRONG" "UP UNTIL THE DAY I WENT FOR JERSEY," "AND YOU STILL TREATED ME LIKE [bleep]." " NO, YOU TREAT ME LIKE [bleep]." "[phone dialing]" " I GOT A DATE WITH A-- WITH A T-SHIRT PRESS." "WHAT ABOUT YOU?" " WHO, ME?" " YOU COMING?" " YEAH." " HEY." "WOULD I BE ABLE TO COME SEE YOU SATURDAY," "OR ARE YOU NOT GONNA BE THERE?" " YEAH!" " RYDER'S JUST..." "SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD," "AND SHE'S COMING TO VISIT," "SO I'M VERY EXCITED TO SEE HER." " ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU." " LOVE YOU." "BYE." "WAH." "[solemn pop music]" "¶ ¶" " DON'T WANT TO BE HERE." " WHY?" "YOU WERE SO GOOD YESTERDAY." " I KNOW." " I LET YOU HAVE YOUR HOTDOG BREAK." "I LET YOU JUST HAVE A BREAK." "I LET YOU MAKE A HOODIE FOR YOURSELF" "THAT YOU AREN'T EVEN WEARING." " 'CAUSE I'M NOT DONE YET." " YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE DONE." "COME ON." "LET'S GO, PLEASE." "COME ON." "COME ON." "[bleep] MOVE." " ANOTHER DAY IN THE OFFICE?" " YEAH." "MEN'S OPINION." "SHOULD I..." " YOU LOOKED PRETTY HAPPY WITH THAT DUDE." " SHOULD I ATTEMPT TO JUST TRY AND STAY WITH TOM?" " YOU NEED TO GO WITH WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY." " REALLY?" "I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING." "I HAVEN'T-- I WON'T EVEN KISS HIM." " NO, I KNOW, YOU KNOW." " JUST FRIENDS." " BUT YOU SEEM HAPPY." " I KNOW." " I THINK JENNY AND ROGER AS A COUPLE" "WOULD BE AMAZING." "THAT'S, LIKE, YOUR TYPICAL," "GORILLA, GUIDETTE COUPLE," "AND THEY WOULD HAVE THE MOST AMAZINGLY CUTE BABIES EVER." " CAN'T SNAP OUT OF IT?" " HUH?" "WELL, DANNY'S HORRIBLE." " WHAT?" " DANNY'S ANNOYING ME." " OH." "NICOLE REALLY JUST CAN'T CATCH A BREAK." "I CAN TELL IN HER FACE SHE'S BECOMING DEPRESSED," "AND I DECIDE TO CALL ROGER," "AND I'M LIKE, "I NEED YOUR HELP."" " OH, MY GOD." " THIS IS NICK." " THANK YOU SO MUCH." "HI." "NICE TO MEET YOU." " YOU TOO." "HOW YOU BEEN?" " GOOD." "THANK YOU." " WHAT'S GOING ON?" " I APPRECIATE THAT." "CAN WE GO?" "I DON'T WANT TO GET FIRED." " I HAVE TO ASK." " OH, MY GOD." "THIS IS, LIKE, WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE." "HE'S GORGEOUS, BUT HE'S IRISH." "I KIND OF LIKE ALL ITALIAN," "BUT, YOU KNOW, WE'LL MIX IT UP." "YOU WORK WITH EACH OTHER, OR DIFFERENT?" " NAH." " YOU DO YOUR THING?" "SO YOU WEAR A HARD HAT?" " WEAR A HARD HAT..." " WITH YOUR SHIRT OFF, AND, LIKE, BLUE JEANS?" " THERE'S OUR BOSS." " GREAT." "HE'S PROBABLY GONNA COME OVER AND YELL." "JUST STAND UP AND STARE AT HIM." "HE'LL BACK DOWN." " STARE HIM DOWN?" " YEAH." " LOVE YOU." " COME ON, GIRLS." " ALL RIGHT." " YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA BE IN FRONT OF THE STORE." "I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE GONNA SNEAK OFF TO BUBBA'S." "YOUR SHIFT ENDS SOON." " THANK YOU, DANNY, FOR NOT YELLING." " HOLY, [bleep]." "NICK IS [bleep] PERFECT." "LIKE, PERFECT." " I'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT FAIR TO YOU TODAY." " HE WAS YUM." " I WAS YELLING?" " NO, I SAID "HE WAS YUM."" " OKAY, HE WAS YUM." " OKAY." " T-SHIRT SALES." " YAY." " GOOD STUFF, JWOWW." " CAN WE HELP ANYONE?" "DO YOU LOVE ME?" " UGH." " OR DO YOU LOVE ME?" " I'M GONNA [bleep] MY PANTS RIGHT NOW." "[laughter]" " ¶ GIRL I WANNA DO IT ¶" "¶ DON'T YOU WANNA DO IT ¶" "¶ WE GONNA DO IT ¶" " I PRAYED TO THE GODS" "TO HAVE A NICE, JUICE-HEAD GORILLA," "AND I FINALLY GOT ONE." "THANK YOU." " I HAVE TO GO HOME AND BREAK INTO MY HOUSE" "AND GET MY DOGS." " RIGHT NOW I WANT TO KILL TOM." "HE JUST LEFT THE DOGS THERE TO PRETTY MUCH DIE." " [crying] I DO NOT DESERVE THIS." " GET DRESSED." " HOW WAS WORK?" " IT WAS FINE." "IT SUCKED UNTIL WE SAW BOYS." " YOU GUYS SAW BOYS?" " ROGER BROUGHT A BOY FOR ME." " ROGER BROUGHT THE PERFECT MAN FOR HER." " YEAH?" "CUTE?" " BANGIN'." " SO WE'RE GONNA DO THE BOARDWALK TONIGHT," "AND I'M REALLY EXCITED," "BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE NICOLE'S GONNA BE HAPPY" "ALL OVER AGAIN, AND I MISS THAT ABOUT HER." " MIGHT HAVE TO DOUBLE PANTY IT." "BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE BAD." "FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO POOP." "I'M GETTING NERVOUS." " BECAUSE YOU'RE EXCITED?" " YEAH, AND EVERY TIME I GET EXCITED, I HAVE TO POOP." "EVERY TIME I GET REALLY EXCITED," "LIKE, IF WE GO TO A CLUB," "I HAVE TO [bleep] MY PANTS." "IF WE GO TO A PARTY, I [bleep] MY PANTS." "IF I GO ON A DATE LIKE THIS WITH A HOT GUY," "I HAVE TO [bleep] MY PANTS." "LIKE, I GET REALLY EXCITED." "I JUST HAD A BABY IN THE TOILET." "[toilet flushes]" " OOH, IT'S SO JUICY." " THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID." "[knock at door]" " AAH!" "OH, HELLO." "YOU CAN COME IN." " NICK WALKS IN, AND THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT TO MYSELF WAS," ""UGH, I'M JEALOUS." "HE'S GORGEOUS." "YOU GO, NICOLE."" "LIKE, YOU KNOW, AND HE IS PERFECT FOR HER." "AND I GET STUCK WITH ALEX." "IS THAT ENOUGH TICKETS FOR EVERYBODY?" " IT'S GONNA FALL OUT!" " DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT." "I'LL CATCH YOU." "[screaming]" " I'M JUST HAVING A GREAT TIME." "I THINK THIS DATE IS SOLIDIFYING" "THAT I JUST SHOULDN'T BE WITH TOM," "AND THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE." " STOP!" " IT'S NOT ON THAT TIGHT." " STOP." "I LIKE TO JOKE AROUND A LOT," "AND HE JOKES AROUND." "THAT'S WHAT I NEED," "AND I WAS WORRIED THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO BE LIKE THAT," "BECAUSE THEN IT'S, LIKE, AWKWARD," "AND YOU'RE LIKE, "OKAY, YOU'RE BORING ME,"" "BUT HE'S DEFINITELY AN AWESOME GUY." "[screaming]" "OH, GOD, I'M GONNA VOMIT." "EVEN THOUGH I JUST MET HIM," "NICK FEELS LIKE THE PERFECT JUICE-HEAD GORILLA FOR ME," "AND I ALSO KIND OF WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM ALREADY." " ¶ GIRL, I WANNA DO IT ¶" "¶ DON'T YOU WANNA DO IT ¶" "¶ WE GONNA DO IT ¶" "¶ CAN WE DO IT ¶" "¶ YOU KNOW YOU WANNA DO IT ¶" "¶ QUIT PLAYING, GIRLIE, DO IT ¶" " I PRAYED TO THE GODS TO HAVE A NICE JUICE-HEAD GORILLA," "AND I FINALLY GOT ONE." "THANK YOU." " ME AND ROGER DID NOT HAVE SEX." "YET I'M ABSOLUTELY, LIKE, INFATUATED WITH THIS KID," "AND I ADORE HIM EVEN MORE." "I REALLY DON'T MISS TOM," "AND THAT'S KIND OF, LIKE, A RED FLAG FOR ME" "THAT I SHOULDN'T BE WITH HIM," "AND I'M KIND OF SHUTTING TOM OUT AS OF RIGHT NOW." "[phone quacking]" " HELLO." " HEY, IS JENNI THERE?" " UH, YEAH." "HOLD ON ONE SECOND." " WHO'S IT FOR?" " JENNI." " I WANT TO SEE HER SAY IT." " JENNI, TELEPHONE." "TOM." " I WANT TO LISTEN." " SHE'S LIKE, "WE GOT A COFFEE," ""WENT TO THE T-SHIRT SHOP, I [bleep]ED ROGER," "THEN WE WENT TO..."" " HELLO?" " HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?" "YOU NEVER CALLED ME." "I GOT [indistinct]." " I WENT OUT WITH NICOLE." " OH, YEAH?" "DOING WHAT?" " BOARDWALK." " ALL RIGHT." "HOW COME YOU DIDN'T CALL ME?" " I DON'T KNOW." " WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?" " I DON'T KNOW." " IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU?" " NO." "JUST..." "TAKING A BREATHER." " I'LL ROGER THAT." "[laughter]" " TAKING A BREATHER?" " YEAH." "JUST GETTING MY INDEPENDENCE BACK." " YO, ROGER THAT." "R--R--ROGER THAT." " SEE ANYBODY YOU KNOW DOWN THERE?" " YEAH." " WHO?" " MY FRIEND ROGER AND THEN..." "HIS FRIEND NICK." " OH, YOU BEEN HANGING OUT WITH THEM A LOT?" " YEAH." " THIS'LL BE THE LAST CONVERSATION I HAVE WITH YOU," "JUST LET ME KNOW." " THERE'S NOTHING TO LET YOU KNOW," "BUT IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL..." " IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?" "THAT'S BULL[bleep]." "AND, LIKE, HONESTLY, THE FACT THAT YOU EVEN DID THIS" "WAS--IS--IS..." " I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING." "THAT'S THE PROBLEM." " NO, YOU REALLY DID, THOUGH." " I WAS JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME AND ENJOYING MYSELF," "UNLIKE WHAT I WAS ABLE TO DO WITH YOU." " WOW." "DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY THAT TO ME?" " WHAT?" " YOU REALLY JUST SAID THAT TO ME?" "YOU DON'T HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH ME?" " I DO, BUT NOT LATELY." "IT'S BEEN HARD, SO I'M JUST TRYING TO, LIKE, BREATHE," "AND HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS AND PEOPLE THAT I KNOW." "EVEN THE DAY THAT I WAS LEAVING WASN'T EVEN GOOD." " YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT?" " YEAH, BUT NOTHING." "SO DO I TAKE THAT [bleep] TO HEART?" "YEAH, BECAUSE I DID NOTHING [bleep] WRONG" "UP UNTIL THE DAY I WENT FOR JERSEY," "AND YOU STILL TREATED ME LIKE [bleep]." " NO, YOU TREAT ME LIKE [bleep]." " DONE." " ¶ WITH A HEART ATTACK ON YOUR PLATE ¶" "¶ YOU WERE LOOKING BACK ON YOUR DAYS ¶ [phone dialing]" " BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT I JUST BROKE UP WITH TOM," "MY ANXIETY IS SO HIGH I CAN'T EVEN THINK." " HE SAID THAT HE'S UPSET," "AND HE'S STARTING TO MOVE OUT NOW, BUT..." " WHO'S WATCHING MY DOGS?" " WELL, I DON'T KNOW." "I'M JUST SAYING YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING" "IF THAT BOTHERS YOU THAT MUCH" "WHERE YOU THINK SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN." " JUST PLEASE CALL HIM FOR ME." " AND SAY WHAT?" " "DON'T TOUCH ANY OF MY [bleep]."" " ALL RIGHT." " ALL RIGHT." "LOVE YOU." " ALL RIGHT, I LOVE YOU TOO." "I'LL TALK TO HIM AGAIN." " ALL RIGHT." " ALL RIGHT?" " BYE." "UGH." "THE ONLY THING THAT I'M CONCERNED ABOUT WITH TOM" "IS THE SAFETY OF MY DOGS AND MY PERSONAL BELONGINGS." "BOO, IT'S, LIKE, AN EMERGENCY." "I HAVE TO GO HOME AND BREAK INTO MY HOUSE" "AND GET MY DOGS." "WILL YOU TAKE THE DRIVE WITH ME?" " OF COURSE." "RIGHT NOW I WANT TO KILL TOM." "LIKE, YOU DON'T LEAVE ANIMALS LIKE THAT ALONE." "'CAUSE THEY CAN'T FEND FOR THEMSELVES." "AND NOW HE JUST LEFT THE DOGS THERE TO PRETTY MUCH DIE." " WHAT A [bleep] FUN DAY THIS IS." "I'M LITERALLY PREPARING FOR THE WORST." "I'M PREPARING FOR MY [bleep] TO BE SMASHED," "MY DOGS TO BE, LIKE, HIDING IN A CORNER, TRAUMATIZED." "AND I'M HOME." "LIKE, REALLY?" "MY DAMN KEYS." "TOM LOCKED ME OUT," "AND, UM, HE'S BEING VERY MALICIOUS." "AND IT'S ONE THING TO DRAW HATE TOWARDS ME," "BUT IT'S ANOTHER TO TAKE IT OUT ON MY ANIMALS." "THAT MEANS THE ABSOLUTE WORLD TO ME." "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW." " DO WE HAVE TO BREAK IN?" "[distant barking]" "OH, DOGGIES." " HI!" " YAY!" " LET'S GO." " HI!" " WHOO-HOO." " HI!" " YOU'RE COMING TO THE JERSEY SHORE." " I HAVE MY DOGS." "THEY'RE SAFE, THEY'RE CUTE, THEY'RE HAPPY," "AND THAT'S ALL I NEED." "DO YOU GOT TO GO PEE?" "IT'S UPSTAIRS." " YEAH, I NEED TO PISS." " HI." " WHAT HAPPENED?" " BED'S GONE." " WHAT?" " YOUR BED IS GONE." " REALLY?" "MY [bleep] BED." " WHAT ELSE DID HE TAKE?" "THAT'S IT?" "IT WAS IN THERE?" " IT WAS ON THE DRESSER IN THE..." "TOM TOOK THE BEST PERSONAL ITEM I COULD HAVE." "MY FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY" "THAT I GOT AS A PRESENT FOR GRADUATION." "HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH TOM." "IF TOM'S GONNA BE THIS SPITEFUL TO STEAL MY WATCH," "I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT HE DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING ELSE." " YEAH, THAT'S NOT OKAY." "ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME, MAN?" " IS THAT TO HIM?" " YEAH." "I DON'T EVEN WANT TO LOOK." "ANYMORE." "[crying] I DO NOT DESERVE THIS." "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HIM." "HE KEPT DOING IT TO ME." "SORRY." " ¶ AND YOU'LL BE RIGHT THERE WITH ME AS WELL ¶" "¶ WE'LL BE ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF HELL ¶" " MY HOME IS [bleep] JERSEY." "MY LITTLE BED." " ¶ WE ARE ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF HELL ¶" "¶ WE ARE ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE ¶" "¶ WE ARE ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF HELL ¶" " WHO ARE YOU?" " I COME HERE TO GET MY NIECE." " WHAT, DUDE?" " THAT'S MY NIECE RIGHT THERE." " WHAT THE HELL?" "WHAT IS THIS?" "ROMEO AND JULIET?" "THE CAPULETS AND [bleep] WHATEVER?" " WHAT HAVE I DONE, BRO?" " DUDE, YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING." " I HAVEN'T DONE [bleep]." " RON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER?" "LET ME KNOW NOW." "ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER?" "[bell tolls]" "YOU NEED TO PICK ME UP RIGHT NOW." "I NEED TO GO HOME."