"We interrupt this program with some breaking news." "A man discovers he's been framed." "It was you." "You hung this painting crooked." "I did not." " He did." " Actually, you're right." "It was me." "And that's exactly why I hate art." "We now return you to your regularly scheduled program." "It was a time of war." "Gods with big beards fighting mortals with small beards." "In the middle, a guy with no beard who would save them all." "And that is what's on the side of my lunch box." " Awesome, man." "I just have Marmapuke." "Woof." "You're cool for a transfer student." "What's your name?" " Curseus." " Why did they name you that?" "**** if I know." "But I'm half god, half mortal, so somebody must have **** up." "You're half god and you wanna go to our mortal school?" "Why?" "To show the gods they can be beaten." "Plus my old school doesn't have a pool." "I hear you have a pretty **** football team." " Yeah, but I blame our head cheerleader." " We'll bring the ball home or turn to stone." " What did she say?" " Sss!" " Sounds like she needs to be taken care of." " I'm on it." " I meant a makeover." " Oh, right." "Right, of course." "Yeah." "That's what I meant." "I'II, uh..." "I'll go do that." " What do you want, Dad?" " How did you know it's me?" "No one has a foot the size of a Pontiac." "I just wanted to say good luck at school." "I hope you win the big game on Saturday." " I don't need help, Dad." "You're the enemy." " I know, I know." "But I brought you a few things anyway." "Here's a magic helmet, magic sword Magic Marker, Magic Johnson, and I packed you a magic lunch." "What makes it magic?" " I added a cookie." " Ah!" "****, yeah." "Okay." "Keep your eyes closed." " Sss!" " Aah!" " Maybe you better keep them closed." " Eh, you gave it a shot." "Actually, she was our ride back to campus." "Get your moussaka." "Tzatziki." "Who wants baba-hoo-hahs?" "I'm really just making up words now." "Big day at the coliseum, sports fans." "Can the mortals end the god's winning streak?" "Well, this crowd seems to think so." "Woo-hoo!" "Immortals." "He said mortals, not immortals." " Shut up." " You shut up." "Word has it they have a new quarterback named Curseus but is he good enough to go against the kraken?" "Dude, turn around." "Your butt is on the kraken cam." " Really?" " And put a shirt on, for crying out loud." "Okay, Draco, you go left and make a quick right." "Stan, go up the middle, and the rest follow." "That should get us to the stadium." "Looks like the gods are taking the field." "And here come the mortals." "And just in time too because there's the kickoff." "Release it, kraken." " Unh!" " Look out, ladies, here comes Hades." " It's time for plan B." " Run for the hills and change our names?" " Maybe it was plan C." " V, XI, XXI, IIV, hike." "Uh-oh." "The mortals have done it." "They've beaten the gods." " In your face." " Yeah, I can still feel that." "Finally, we bring home the winning ball." "Oh, ****." "Hey, I think you forgot something." "Uh-huh." "Uh..." "Oh!" "Hang on, I got another call coming in." "Hello?" "Can you speak up?" "It's all Styrofoamy on my end." "From people who think kids buy anything with a movie tie-in..." "Just open a box, and you'll fill your bowl with anything laying around including raisins, corn, stickers, socks, gluten-free pasta, cat-claw clippings even this picture frame." "Forget hoping for a prize." "You'll be hoping for a chance of flavor with Cloudy with a Chance of Flavor." "All of the images, none of the flavor." "Sold alongside Rice Shreks and Carshmellows." "Try explaining that." "Dude, did you crack the Liberty Bell?" "Eh..." "Uh..." "Uh..." " Yes." " And now it's time for Ask the Celebrity." "Dear Jonas Brothers, how do you guys stay so close?" "Well, we rehearse together." "We go on vacations together." "And we're a giant three-headed monster." "Dear Megan Fox, if you weren't an actress, what would you be?" "I guess I'd be a dentist, since I can always get the boys to say "ah"." "Dear Jake Gyllenhaal, how do you spell your last name?" "G-Y-L-E..." "No, wait." "Uh..." "G-Y-L-L..." "No, hang on." "G..." "Jillen..." "Gille..." "Is it...?" "Is it...?" "Aah!" "First came black and white." "Then came color." "Then colorization." "Now MAD presents MAD-inization a revolutionary way to make movies less boring." "Think Gone With the Wind is long-winded?" "So did we until we enhanced it." "Oh, Rhett, what shall I do?" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a:" "Feel Julie  Julia could use some spice?" "Look what we added." "And who can take those British accents?" "My chills make me thrive" "When I climb the mountain" "Boring movies won't know what hit them with MAD-inization." "I'm sorry." "It's just I need a real man." "That's the way the cookie crumbles." "Wow, this is the greatest moment of my life." "It sure is." " Who are you?" " I'm you from the future where time travel is now a reality." "I just came back to relive this, the greatest moment of our life." "You mean, it really doesn't get any better than this?" "Well, something better could happen in our later years." "Don't count on it." "Everyone has their favorite Grrl Pout cookies but here are a few rejected ones that won't be getting a badge:" "Lig-a-Mints Eagle Pies Do-Si-Toes and Gag-a-Longs." "Check it out." "My new laptop is totally waterproof." "Really?" "Let me see." "I didn't say it could float." "Stan, I'm just saying." "I think the man-bugs should be called man-bugs." "It would sure cut down on the bathroom lines." "You said it." "Since before time began, an enemy has threatened the existence of our worlds." "It is deceptive." "It is all-consuming." "It is fat." "But faith has yielded its reward, the new Transformin' Grill." "I am Optimus Prime." "The Transformin' Grill allows you to enjoy your favorite foods without all that deadly fat." "Try it with meat, poultry, rubber, steel." "It will even work on the finest cuts of Optimus Prime rib." "You will be amazed." "The Transformin' Grill helped me lose 9 tons in two weeks." "I lowered my cholesterol to 150." "I'm off dairy." "So come on, what are you waiting for?" "The Transformin' Grill." "It's lean and it's mean." "You will die, earthling, unless you change your eating habits." "They will always remember the mark of Orlando..." "Or..." "Or..." "Or..." "Lan..." "Orlan..." "Agh, forget it." "I shall be Zorro." "Skateboarding is my life which is why I'm stoked for the Skate Team Championship." "Whoa!" "But if I'm gonna win, I'll need the help of my best bro, Luther." "What up, dork munch?" "Lex Luthor?" "But where's my Luther?" "Well, he, uh, had a dentist appointment." "Looks like it's me and you, bro." "Why do you wanna compete in a skate championship?" "I heard the grand prize is $500." "But you're a billionaire." "Eh, you can never have too much." "Do you even know how to skate?" "How hard could it be?" "I'm gonna just lie here for a few minutes." "Now, remember what I taught you and try a kickflip." "Oof!" "Admit it." "I'm getting better." "If you don't let me skate with you, you'll never see Luther again." " I thought you said he's at the dentist." " I lied, okay?" "Super villain, that's what we do." "Stop being a poser and let's win this." "Whoa!" "Zeke is really ripping it up out there And Lex Luthor is, well, also out there." "The judges give them 6-point..." "I mean, 9.5?" " How did we...?" " I brought my cheering squad." " Arg!" " Oh, my God." "Zeke and Lex Luthor are in the lead with only one team to go Ryan Sheckler and Superman?" "What up, Luth?" "Wow, Sheckler and Superman are dominating the course." "Now, that's what I call major airage." "But that's not fair." "He can fly." "Uh, look, everyone, that boy needs help." " Hey, where did...?" " See you later, losers." "Unh!" "Oh, yeah." "That's gonna hurt in the morning." " Cinnamon Bear Traps..." " Ow!" " ..." "Pecan Blandies..." " Aw." " ..." "Pecan Blandies..." " Aw." "...and Thin Prints."