"CHOCOLATE LESSONS" "That's a golf club, not a hoe !" "Don't be so stiff." "Fantastic," "I should play more often with you, I'd learn a lot." "You learn if you have passion, not if you're hunting for business." "What?" "I love golf." "I never think about work when I play." "Too bad," "I have to remodel a country home on a 300,000-euro budget." "If I could find an estimate under 500 !" "My motto is:" "highest quality, lowest cost." "See, you're here for business." "That's why you don't learn !" "Give me a precise estimate," "I'll take it to the notary and won't pay a cent over." "Right on !" "This job can't be done for 300,000." "I stomached golf for two years, and now you're against me ?" " It's our turning point !" " No, it's our breaking point !" "Where can we find "fine finishings" at that price ?" "In warehouses for rejects." "We hire under-the-table and cut back on what's not visible." "And deliver a home full of cracks in 30 years." "Nice calling card." "In 30 years Italy will be a desert, who'll notice one more crack ?" "Excuse, Mr Mattia, we not go roof without scaffolding, very dangerous." "Scaffolding costs 12,000 euro," "I get 15,000 for the whole job, how can I do it ?" "Friend, no scaffolding, no roof." "Friend..." "Radu, come here." "See that ?" "Know what it's called ?" "A door." "If you don't like it, leave." "I'm leaving." "Fuck off." "Thank you, same to you." "I climb up, where is problem ?" "Good, you'll go far." "He's arrogant, he instigates, then backs down." "When the roof's done, he's out too." "One hundred of these days, love." "So you'll forget all one hundred." "I don't forget, I just remember at the last minute." "Since you don't forget..." " That other thing to remember ?" " Of course." " What ?" " So you're bullshitting me ?" "It's over a year I've been asking for us to get married." "You're right, but I have this new job..." " It's a bad moment." " It always is." " That's not true." " No ?" "No, you're very important to me, with you..." "Love birds, I'll just steal a minute." "Forty euro per 100 kilos, living room, terrace, kitchen..." " Osvaldo, does it seem the moment ?" " He said to." "No." "You're a piece of shit." "Clara, I said to bring them, but not to the table..." "Thank you." "I'm sorry, I didn't think..." "It's so dismal." "They want to marry, you fall for it," "then they divorce and bleed you." "Forty per hundred, eh ?" "Excellent." "Kamal ?" "Open your eyes !" "You have to say you fell on the stairs at home, get it ?" "Want money ?" "Okay, I'll give you 5,000 euro." "Don't pretend you can't hear, this is no joke !" "Hurry!" "If we fold, they'll all be out of work and blame you." "Faster !" "I'll get the ticket !" "A guy's made to feel like a criminal just trying to stay in business !" "Three more tiles, the roof was done." "What did you tell them ?" " Why won't you talk to me ?" " You not polite, not ask about me." " How are you ?" " Bad !" "When I am better, we talk." "Osvaldo, he won't tell me anything !" "The lawyer says I risk the clink and that guy leaves me rotting here for five days." " I'll send a message." " He won't reply, you'll feel hurt." "What about this ?" "I can't concentrate," "I can't stand it, I just can't." "May I?" " Mr Mattia, how are you ?" " Fine." "Please sit down." " How is your family ?" " Fine." " Work is okay ?" " Yes." "A little something." "Gramps, see what this scoundrel brought !" "Taste sweets made by my hand, before I fall from roof." "Kamal, it's nice you're so kind after all that's happened..." "In Egypt, guest is sacred, proverb says:" "if devil comes your house, offer food and drink." "Well," "I'd like to know what you said about the accident." "Proverb says:" "first think four days, then talk." "So I said to cop:" "Kamal hit head, Kamal not remember." "Thank you, you won't be sorry." "You and I..." "Then think four days, now remember," "I fall at site, no scaffolding." "Tomorrow tell police." "Want some dates ?" "Shamira ?" "Okay, tell me how much you want and we'll resolve this." "You not buy me," "I am great pastry cook of Bassim Bassam in Cairo." "My dream is pastry cook in Italy too, but all is chocolate here, I don't know how to do." "So, I go in Chocolate School to change my life, but now..." "No hands, no school." "If Kamal no more sweets, Mattia Cavedoni no more houses." "You can't ruin me over a course !" "Take the next one, I'll pay." "Course is for 100 years of company, next one in 100 years." "Only pyramid not fear time and I not pyramid." "I'm willing to do anything." "You have a problem ?" "I'll solve it !" "I have one !" "You goodwill, I offer deal." "You do course of chocolate with name of Kamal Hawas Guaib." "Diploma my name, no Police." "I'll get a student to do the course for you !" "No, student not motivated." "You get diploma or get Police, you very motivated, eh ?" "I said that for you, a student..." " He's trying to be a wise guy." " Then he'll go to jail." "Okay, I'll do the course for you." "Article one:" "if you make my name look bad," "Police." "Article two:" "every evening you come my house and you learn me chocolate." "Article three:" "long hair like girl, cut I" "Gramps makes nice baskets." "Give him one." "Egyptians very polite, you say you like basket and Gramps give you." "But you not polite." "All know Egyptians not drink alcohol, never again bring in my house !" "You very pale, who believes you Egyptian ?" "I need ten tanning sessions." " Good, over how long ?" " The weekend." "I want it like this." "If you say a word, I'll change barbers." "How can you eat this stuff, it stinks of dead dog !" "Desert sunset color is good on you and short hair." "You more "masculish"." "Application says I am laborer, but look how you are dressed." "Who believes you are laborer ?" "Gramps." "How embarrassing." "Soles with holes, thanks !" "You know what off-book laborer gets ?" "Yes, you know." "Most modern cell phone ?" "It's not for laborer, people think you steal." "If you want, I lend mine, just change the chip." "Thanks, it's beautiful." "Gramps, home !" "Actually no, downtown !" "Hi, I'm Amed, Tunisian, are you new ?" "First, I demand respect, second, I pay you to mix cement not to welcome newcomers !" "A 45 beam ?" "30's good enough !" "We're wasting money." "No course today ?" "They're chocolatiers, half an hour more or less..." "Excuse me," "I'm looking for number 166." " Something about chocolate." " Is that a joke ?" "Excuse me, I Egypt, know where is chocolate course ?" "Kamal Hawas Guaib ?" "You're late, they're waiting for you." "This firm, so deeply rooted in our land, has, for 100 years, been the heart of the Italian chocolate tradition." "And so the city of Perugia is happy to... welcome... the attendees to the former convent of Santa Prisca, where illustrious figures like Stendhal, Byron, Kennedy..." "Now a word from the Director." "Thank you, Mr Mayor." "We're proud of the tradition you spoke of, so we've created the Chocolate School to divulge the secrets of this marvelous food." "We also believe in innovation and for our firm's 100 years we want to award new ideas." "Theirs." "He indicated you, you must have connections !" "There's always one !" "Here are our six fantastic contestants, selected from more than 700." "After a chocolatier course with our Master Chef there will be a contest for the best chocolate." " Who'll win ?" " I hope I do." "I know the prize is money to open a chocolate shop." "Chocolate is my dream." "What's your dream ?" " I shy." " Say something." "Are you scared ?" "Hi, Egypt !" "Tell your classmates Daddy's on TV." " That's not you." " Dad here, but also there." "You'll confuse him, he's a child." "I say that for him." "This is a backward country, only going on TV brings respect." "Dark chocolate, the base of our work, we call it "black"." "Cocoa is a food with varied uses in history." "For the Aztecs, it was the drink of the gods, for the Maya, money, for French nobles, the treatment for good humor, for nuns of the 1600s, sin, they swore to abstain from pleasures of the flesh and chocolate." "What do you see here ?" "A glazed chocolate, 70% "black"." "Hazelnut praline filling and maybe a drop of rum." "I see a man in a café, he has problems at work, at home, small broken dreams..." "He takes one and eats it." "In an instant time seems to stand still." "It's a tiny moment of ecstasy." "If you've come here to make chocolates, you can leave now." "Here we make tiny moments of ecstasy." "Tempering." "In tempering, the chocolate is brought to the proper temperature for working." "If it's too easy for you you can do like me." "What's the point of this exercise ?" "To let the chocolate guide us, to get a feel for its consistency and scent." "We've found the class leader, who are you ?" "Cecilia Ferri, from Frascati." "Careful !" " What is it ?" " This guy's making a mess." "Kamal Hawas Guaib is a laborer, but in Egypt he was a pastry chef." "If he wants to be one here he must learn chocolate." "I'd like you to help him out." "Try at least !" "No water on the chocolate, or you'll have to throw it out I" "I can't baby-sit this guy !" "My father wants to give me his four pastry shops, I have to learn !" "So do I." "Teaching is the best way to do it, but if it's not right for you, okay." "Kamal is a pastry chef, he'll study tonight and be tops tomorrow." "We're used to sleepless nights, right, colleague ?" "So, you don't have connections you're a loser like me !" "Tiles ?" "We're in a convent, with a burner to practice on." "The Chef's sure to find me out." "Ugolini wants to see everything ?" "I'll grab a bite and come." "I used to live abroad, there are loads of new ideas there." "I'm opening a lab after the course, you can come stay with me." "I'm married with two kids, I'm not interested in your exchange of ideas." "You eat pork ?" "Never !" " This is no beef ?" " Porchetta isn't beef." " Then I eat "mini-roast"." " They're pork shins." "The buffet is being offered by the Umbrian Pork Association." "I must go." "Where ?" "This course is important for us." " You should be practicing." " Relax." "I go to practice, happy ?" "Let's toast to the prettiest class leader in the world !" "Come on, it's just one sleepless night." "In the morning I make walls, not chocolates !" " Ugly." " Horrible." "For the living room, what do you say ?" "I say you were better before, what happened to you ?" " Back from an exotic holiday ?" " No, in the sun, at the site..." "Ah, work ?" "Good." "I think this would be perfect for the living room." "Less stress, Mr Surveyor, first let's play nine holes." " Want to ?" " Can't wait..." "Remove the flag, or it won't go in !" "Great." " Can I show you now ?" " No, it's late." "You take too long to play nine holes." "See you tomorrow." "I may have an appointment, just two minutes..." "Enjoy life, soak up the view, breathe !" "Mr Mattia !" " How are you ?" " Fine." "How is your family ?" "What do you want ?" "Course starts 9 o'clock, you late." "Your excuse ?" " I had a work meeting." " Diploma no joke !" "You know what means off-book laborer and asshole boss ?" "No!" "But if Police, you learn !" "Now run to school !" "Actually no, come here." "Recipes for Egypt sweets." "Give to Master Chef in my name." "Run." "You gave him a good scolding !" "As for the raw materials, don't look at price but quality." "Remember they're "tiny moments of ecstasy", we don't scrimp on ecstasy." "Finally awake !" "We were speaking of something you're certainly well aware of." "When you buy raw materials you have to scrimp as much as possible." "Not in school, but always in a company, or competitor cut throat." "My throat's in fine shape, but I don't scrimp." "You make 4-gram chocolates, try with construction." "How does that figure here ?" "Milo's right, he makes us waste time." "Kamal practiced last night so now he'll show us how good he is." "I've been to Bassim Bassam, does Azum still work there ?" "Yes." "You know Azum well ?" "Pretty much." "I don't know who he is, but I know the manual skill of a pastry cook and you don't have it." "You faked your curriculum, you're out of the course." "Calm down, wait." "I made mistake, but I explain you." "Know what off-book laborer is ?" "He doesn't." "Boss send on roof without scaffolding and if you fall, you quiet." "If protest, boss say: there is door." "You think day is eight hours ?" "No, ten and not overtime." "That's off-book laborer." "I don't like liars, but if Italy offered this lousy deal, we should help him." "I think he's never set foot on a building site." "That's enough, we can't hold a debate on immigration, we'd be wasting time, right ?" "I'll keep you, on the understanding that Cecilia tutors you." "Okay, if he sticks to the rules." "Let's work." "Hi, Master Chef." "Perfect timing." "See you tomorrow." "She must be twenty !" "I'd guess, in addition to the tiny moments of ecstasy, he likes the big moments too." " Why gather all chocolate ?" " Mind your own business." "9 o'clock, with chocolate melted." "At your service, Ugolini." "Yes, of course." "Always at your disposal." "There's no blend between shell and filling, do another forty." "Tutor, please," "I tired." "If you want to change jobs, you have to dig in or you'll always be tied to that asshole boss." "Boss not bad, market is very tough." "Really, he very good, he hard on me so I learn market." "You have the Stockholm Syndrome, why do you defend him ?" "I'd report that Ugolini." "On the phone with him, you sound like a puppy, it's heart-breaking." "You have the balouza recipe !" " You'll have to translate it." " Sure, what's problem ?" "Kamal, I need a favor !" "Hear me ?" "The line dropped." "Why do you hang up on me ?" "You, impolite !" "Don't ask favor right away, first ask:" "How are you ?" "How is your family ?" " Is baby eating ?" " Who gives a shit, I'm in a hurry!" "Your problem !" " Hi, how are you ?" " Fine, thank you." " Your family ?" " Very well." " Is the baby eating ?" " Yes !" " It's nicer to say like that." " I need the recipe for balouza." "You learn Italian chocolate to me, not me Egypt sweets to you." "Please, it's important, it's for the class leader !" "Class leader ?" "Why you not say ?" "...Then spread "casseroll" with butter and sugar." " What kind of butter ?" " Camel." " Camel ?" " If you have, but you not have." "Supermarket butter very good." "140 degrees for fifteen minutes and it's done." "Thank you." " Can you translate mahlabia ?" " No." "You learn Italian chocolate to me, not me Egypt sweets to you." "Right." "Prepare forty with coconut and forty with pistachio and then you can go to bed." "I'll taste them in the morning." "Go find a job !" "Bath, living room, terrace, kitchen, all very trendy, more than tiles, they're true moments of ecstasy." "What can I say ?" "All these filthy tiles, don't you have a catalogue ?" "No, because they're unique pieces selected from the best craftsmen." "But I want to see it all at one time." "Bring me everything in ten days, bath, doors, window frames, windows, door handles, everything." "Ten days..." "No problem." "What are you doing to yourself?" "Your minimum is 51, are you on drugs ?" "No, no way," "I'm just not sleeping." "Actually, if you had a tonic..." "I've got better than that." "Here, chocolate." "Know what chocolate contains ?" "It increases serotonin, which betters your mood, it contains magnesium, which decreases stress, and it has theobromine, a stimulant." "Trust me, I wrote it myself." "Tomorrow morning we'll do eighteen holes, up for it ?" "Can't wait..." "Chocolate must satisfy all five senses." "I asked Cecilia for a date, but she's marrying in September." "She told me she has two kids !" "She told me she's a lesbian." "You're ready to create your first chocolate." "After we've created it, what then ?" "If it's perfect, you take a vacation, if not, you work until it respects the law of the five senses." "What's this ?" "I don't know." "Beg you, tutor, enough smelling, I must sleep." "For tonight, that's enough for the five senses." "Do your homework, then you can sleep." "Are you Mr Kamal Hawas Guaib ?" " I'll take you outside." " Nothing happened !" "Just little stink of burning, can't smell anymore, right ?" "I pray good policeman, no report, eh ?" "I tired and sleep with "sauce pain" on fire." "Do you have a foreigner's permit ?" " I think yes." " Either you have one or you don't." "Then I do." "Kamal, how are you ?" "Your family ?" "ls the baby eating ?" "I not give you my permit !" "You a crackpot, four days with my name and already police station ?" "Hawas Guaib family very respected, one hundred-thirty cousins and no one ever make fire !" "They haven't accused me, they just want to see my permit." "Have Gramps bring you down, say we're cousins and give it to me." "If police want see my permit ?" "I Kamal, you Kamal, all Kamal ?" "Why should they ask you ?" "You not know anything !" "All people always ask immigrant for permit !" "If you act like this, you'll ruin everything." "I'm going great at school, the Chef compliments me and the class leader tells everyone I'm an excellent pastry cook." "Your name Kamal, iron shirt in the morning !" "Please, I've just come from a fire." " Actually, can you give me a lift ?" " Yes." "You come my house and learn me chocolate." "Are you crazy ?" "It's three a.m. !" "You say Master Chef applaud, now I do exam." "If good, okay, if joke, Police." "I'm a washout at school, I suck !" "But I'm busting my ass and I swear I'll bring you that diploma." "Considering, one:" "you boss, never done fuck in your life, and two:" "you say truth for first time, you promoted, but little," "D minus, minus, minus, minus." "Thank you." "Do again, you are Kamal, you must learn." "Don't be the teacher's pet, we don't have to be the best." "Not best, but for sure not worst." "Never again school say:" "Kamal is washout." "Never." "Do again." "Pastry cook thought:" "beauty of work isn't money, it is to find the perfect God put in you." "When you find the perfect, God is happy, you is happy and who eats pastry is happy." "I don't mean to insinuate, but did he burn a Christian symbol by chance ?" "He's a crackpot, we have to kick him out." " Let's hear his side first." " He's gone, he won't ever be back." "You won't invite me again ?" "It hurts me if you say that." "I spent the night... working for you." " I want to do the eighteen holes..." " What holes ?" "Battery's dead, I'll call back." "Are you still working for Ugolini ?" "You dig holes at night?" "A gift for you." "What's this all about ?" "I kill myself to help you change jobs and you keep it up ?" "Ugolini blackmail:" "if you do school in day, do illegal building at night." " You accepted ?" " I poor and Ugolini very bad." " How long since you slept?" " Three days." "Pressure 51." "Let's go." "Excuse the disorder." "Good thing you didn't get hurt." " Lay down and rest." " I can't sleep." "I go to school, or Kamal is pissed off." "You're Kamal !" "Now explain." "Beauty of work isn't money, it is to find the perfect God put in you." "If you find, God is happy and who eats sweets ls happy, if you not find, Kamal is pissed off." "It's a lovely thought but you have to sleep now." "The basket is very nice, but don't spend money on me !" "Ugolini !" "You don't know me, but I've heard about you." "From the surveyor, or architect, what's the difference ?" " You must be Cecilia." " And you're a thug." "Leave Kamal alone, he wants to change jobs." "I don't know any Kamal." "Too bad I answered his phone." "I was looking for the contractor, it must have been a wrong number." "Cut the shit, I know all about you, off-book laborers, blackmail, illegal building sites, no overtime I" " You must have the wrong person." " No, you do." "I do volunteer work and know lawyers who'll kick your ass !" "For the last time, leave Kamal alone or I'll report you." "You're crazy." "I'm not Kamal, you don't scare me, you'll be burned throughout Perugia !" "A collection for a guy who smokes joints and burns convents ?" " How do you know ?" " Didn't you see his eyes ?" "That's lack of sleep." " He studies at night, works all day." " Tell that to your sister." "He's tired, poor thing !" " Cecilia, are you sure ?" " Believe me or I'll do it myself." "I saw his boss, he's a slave driver in a suit." "I insulted him and he took off like the wind." "Don't get mad !" "She's my sister-in-law, she thinks we're all immigrants, she calls us Kamal and reports us..." "You won't see her anymore, I swear." "Thank you, you're so good." "Damned idiot !" "What's going on ?" "Cecilia told us everything." "I don't want to be rhetorical, actually I do." "We want you to look for perfection in chocolate, not in illegal building sites." "This is for you." "Scared, eh ?" "Happy?" "Sorry." " How can I thank you ?" " Concentrate more on your studies." "No tutoring tonight, there's a surprise for you." "Would you suggest döner kebab or the shish kebab ?" "The second, more taste like Egypt." "What's in the kashir ?" "Don't take this wrong, what do you find so good in that sort of scorched leg ?" "Scent of my land." "What's life like in Egypt?" "Depends on area." " Sharm el Sheikh for example..." " No, tell us about real Egypt !" "Much misery and poverty," "I was born in favela." " Favela ?" "You're from Brazil ?" " I say for explain." "We call "alabam", maybe you not understand." "Can't you see these things depress him ?" "Let's change the subject." "I don't understand polygamy, can you explain it to us ?" "Easy, I know." "You not have one wife, but two, four, how many you want." "Yes, but what's the deeper sense ?" "What is it ?" "Sense of polygamy is long..." "I first call sick cousin, hospital close at nine." "Kamal, how are you ?" "Your family ?" "ls the baby eating ?" "Your battery's low ?" "I have to know the meaning of..." " Where are you from ?" " Pakistan." "You're Arabs, aren't you ?" "I have to understand polygamy." "In Pakistan there are no Arabs, at most Muslims." " I'm Hindu." " Good, do you know or not?" "How many roses will you buy ?" "Two." "Woman not have sex in certain days, if she pregnant or baby cries, but man want sex everyday." "Where is respect for woman ?" "With lover screwing in motel ?" "Isn't better second wife with house ?" "Where is respect ?" "Go with whore ?" "But you like polygamy." "I think it is best concept in my culture." " How many wives do you have ?" " None." "Still not find right women." "I know you want an end-of-evening surprise, but if they fill the trash bin people will litter." "There you are !" "The polygamist's on the hunt !" "Tutor, who are they for ?" " He paid for them with our money." " Will you cut it out ?" "Give her the roses, she won't put out anyway." "You morons !" "You're on your own with chocolate." "Wait." "Why don't you men ever understand anything ?" "I just wanted to be your friend." "All mistake, roses not for you." " Then for who ?" " For me." "For you 7" "You have no money and you buy forty roses ?" "Yes, roses for you, but as tutor, this is my real thought." "I'll tell you your real thought, you see a nice kind girl and think she wants to screw." "Never thought that." "Then why did you buy the roses ?" "Are you in love with me ?" "Don't eat or sleep over me ?" "Spin me that crap." "Right, don't open your mouth." "Do you want me put in trash ?" "You're not smooth, that's what saves you." "I'll take them this time, but only as a tutor." "Never try it again." "They're a sect of fanatics." "They listen if the chocolate goes crick or crock and if it doesn't, it's a tragedy !" "You can't see this one's cracked." "Now you can !" "I didn't tell you about the nut, she's a public menace !" "As I slept, she subjugated the class, took up a collection, scared Ugolini and organized a kebab dinner, all in five hours !" "Hire her !" "We need people like that." "Look at these pipes, 25 cents per kilo and they suck !" "Take them !" "Plumbing is behind walls, it doesn't have to please anyone." "I have an idea !" "I'll have that lunatic make my chocolate, it'll satisfy the senses and I'm free till the end of the course." "Why should she do that for you ?" "You should have seen her when I gave her the flowers, she likes me." "If I work on her a little more, she'll fall." "Want to bet?" "Tired, Ceci ?" " What did you call me ?" " "Ceci", for nickname." " In Egypt give nickname to tutor." " Exactly, in Egypt." " Where you take chocolate ?" " To friends." "Need help ?" "Basket heavy." " This one's even better." " Where does he find them ?" "The world's full of beautiful women, if you know how to look." "I very scared for first chocolate." "I thought you give little help." "No, you do it yourself, it would be dishonest." "Of course, but it's first chocolate." "I have jitters, stomach cramp, if maybe Ceci..." "Ceci a damn, don't play clever," "I won't make your chocolate for you." "Right, but chocolate in Egypt is like snow in desert, it's difficult..." "You always bring chocolate here ?" "We're not all like your boss, many people help others." "Want to earn your way to Paradise ?" "Do you know him ?" "He's Cavedoni..." "Quiet !" "Radu, okay, I made a mistake with you, but I'll hire you for 1,100 euro a month, just call me Kamal." " Are you screwing with me ?" " You don't believe me ?" "I'll give you an advance." "Here's 300 euro, just call me Kamal." " Who was that ?" " Radu, once colleague." "He not go on roof and Ugolini say:" "that's the door." " Is that why you gave him money ?" " Of course." "I am not like my boss, I always help others." "You gave me a good lesson." "Really." "I talk a lot, but I bring leftovers, while you, on the sly..." "This Kamal style, help without chatter." " You're such a nice person." " Thank you, but it's not merit." "Born like this." "If you're scared, I'll do your chocolate for you." "A little boost isn't dishonest." "No." "It's not dishonest." "Not with your fingers !" "Why did you use that sugar ?" "I'll tell you, because it was there." "There are 20 types of sugar, each modifies flavor and consistency." "Why are you hiding ?" "I have new ideas, why let everyone see them ?" "Lime, cane sugar, mint, rum." "The mint's not Italian, the rum's seven years old, the result's lousy." "Today you thought you'd invented your first chocolates, instead you've produced tiny moments of boredom." "Creating moments of ecstasy is art, but science too." "The real lesson begins today, paper and pen." "Lesson number one, cocoa butter has 6 types of crystals:" "gamma, alpha, beta, beta one, beta two, pre-beta." "No work tonight, just game." "I have 25 rules to learn and he's giving us more tomorrow !" "Zamalek against Al-Ahly, two teams of Cairo, most important game in world." "I have a million things to do !" "If you wanted to watch it you could have told me." "But all family cheer Al-Ahly, game with no enemy, no fun." "You cheer Zamaleck." "You'll get three." "One, two, three !" "That's not a free kick !" "Look close !" " You need glasses." " No, he faked it !" "And Kama!" "?" " At his cousin's, he may come later." " Exactly." "It's fate, let's get together." "You're 50 years old !" "Not till next birthday !" " Sir, may I ask a question ?" " Only if you're not so formal." "Where's the Master Chef ?" " How old are you ?" " Sixteen." "And you 7" "Good game." " I didn't know you had a derby." " You think we savages ?" "Egypt great Nation !" "When we making pyramids, Italy was eating worms." "But you came here, so there are problems now." "What do you know ?" "Proverb say:" "camel not speak of snow." "In Egypt it was very good." "At eighteen, my diploma." "I had records by Led Zeppelin, five pairs of jeans..." "Then I find work at Bassim Bassam, marry Shamira and then three children, always enough money !" "Then... buy beautiful beige Fiat 127, a bargain." "I had one too !" " Gear always grind in second ?" " Yes, but what an engine !" "Great engine !" "What a jerk, she must be 16 !" "You're right, we should report him." "If a guy makes a mistake, you have to understand why, you said so." "That's just for Egyptians, she's racist." "He paid her ?" "Is the party over ?" "Listen," "I try it with all the girls, but a 16-year-old is really..." "She could be my daughter." "In fact, she is." "She's the youngest and wildest of the three, and wants a piercing." "So I gave her the money to go to someone good." "Before my divorce my life was like chocolate, a perfect blend." "Now my ex won't talk to me and I see the girls one at a time." "It's a very touching story, but are the two older ones free ?" "Let's dance !" "Inverted sugar not make crystal and filling stay soft." "Good, you studied." "I was wondering, if you were a pastry cook in Egypt why did you come here to be an off-book laborer ?" "Brother die in accident." "He had six children and two cousins." "Twelve persons to provide for." " Why you ?" " Who then, you ?" "How can you, with 1,000 euro ?" "You not give 1,000, give 920." "Then I save." "Gramps sell baskets, me chicken, vegetables from garden, sweets..." "I save 240 euro a month and provide for all." "I spend 240 euro just on phone calls." " How do you do it ?" " This world is made by you, not me." "Now there is another problem." "No hands, no moneygram, no moneygram, family no eat, is right ?" "Moneygram in name of Kamal, you just go to post office." "You are... truly... a smartass." "And you more." "You know what I was thinking ?" "Let's try to win this contest." "They'll give you money to open a pastry shop." " Where the catch ?" " No catches." "I have to bust my ass anyway, let's go for it." "Gift for you, picture family." "Aladdin lamp." "Beautiful "gondolo" Venice." " Want chicken ?" " No, a "gondolo" is plenty, thanks." "Yes, Osvaldo, hazelnuts." "I want the ones from Monte Acuto, they're the best." "Tomorrow go climb up and bring me two kilos." "Of course I'm working !" "It's open." " How's everything ?" " Alright." "Why didn't you come to the party ?" "I no time for party, must win prize." "Sure." "My helping you is over, you don't need me anymore." "You've no more jitters and if it's my birthday who cares, you have to win the money." "Good for you, you'll go far." "Good night." " What's this ?" " Gift for Ceci." "Then you didn't forget !" "A gondola from Venice !" "An Aladdin lamp !" "For your wishes." " What are you doing ?" " Did nothing !" "You never do anything, but you flood me with roses, gifts, nicknames." "What do you imagine a woman thinks ?" "Say you don't give a damn for me." "Don't give a damn for you." "I'm not looking for a fling, if you don't care about me, stay away !" "You bastard !" " What are you doing ?" " Me?" "She's totally nuts." "You see how Baci are made ?" "Ma'am !" "Do you know where Cecilia is ?" " No." " I do." "She just called from the station saying she wants to go home." " Know anything about that ?" " No." "Cecilia has great talent, she has to finish this course, you though, have a fake CV." "Not one empty place tomorrow, either zero..." "Or two ?" "Why you go home ?" "Why you leave school ?" "Out of my way !" "If you not talk, I not let you leave." "After what happened yesterday I want to get away." "One kiss, two hugs, nothing !" "In Egypt if they give kisses and hugs to your daughter, what do you do ?" " Cut throat !" " Exactly, let me go." "And you're even polygamous." "I very repent and not kiss anymore." "I kissed you, I'm the one I'm scared of." "When I like a guy, I jump right in !" "It's springtime, the chocolate, touch and smell, the five senses..." "Goodbye !" " You can't to go !" " Why not ?" "Because I love you." "What ?" "!" "You said you didn't give a damn about me." "Pure 100% lie, me shy." "Afraid of your magnificent beauty and... confused." " I don't believe it." " Swear on dearest in the world." "Pyramids !" "All fall down right now, Sphinx too !" "You not want fling ?" "I change everything, leave polygamy, live Frascati, but you no leave school !" "Stop it !" "If you say that, I'll believe it." "Say it's not true and you just want to screw me !" "No." "If you leave school, I leave too." "Tomorrow not one place empty, either zero or two." "This is torture, I no resist !" "You're right, but I just can't make love with you." "Why not ?" "Because I love you, see ?" " Do you think I'm crazy ?" " No." "Because you're Egyptian, with Italians, if you don't go right to bed they think you're mad." "Strange guys." "I do have a problem though." "Who'd have guessed." "But don't laugh." "I was 16, on vacation at the beach," "Ricky said he loved me and I believed him." "Then I discovered he'd said the same thing to six others." "Know what ?" "I took a scuba gun and shot at him here." "Too bad the cable was short." "Then came Giovanni." "We were going to get married, everything was ready..." "One day he said:" ""I have to tell you something," "I have a wife and two kids."" "Then I met Marco, Giulio..." "In the end I went to a psychologist and I understood I fall in love only with liars, like my father." " Psychologist heal you ?" " No." "We got together." "Then with him too..." "Forget it." "That's why I can't let myself go," "I think you must be a liar too and I don't trust anyone anymore." "I know it's not like that, but I'm too scared and I don't let myself go." "Anyway, you're Egyptian, you don't do anything before marriage, so it's not hard to wait." "You don't understand a thing !" "Dates are too sweet !" "Diploma is in my name, if I want dates, you put !" "I'm not your laborer, clear ?" "Why Upset '2" "Wife is angry ?" "Make no more love with you ?" "Too sweet." "Try your Monte Acuto nuts." "Listen..." "You have girlfriends without sex, how do you do it ?" "I not remember, too long ago." "I old, 42." "You're just 10 years older than me ?" "You 32 years old ?" "You seem like child !" "Do fuck-all, have smooth skin." " How many children ?" " None." "You like men ?" "You go with men, with name Kamal !" "We're not in Egypt, you can have women without marrying." "This is bad, you marry woman and love her." "How many did you have ?" "Fifty, sixty, I don't know !" "I not understand." "If you have many woman, many money, why not many children ?" "But no much "masculity"." "Want Egypt magic ?" "I don't want kids, it's different." "But nature says:" "man plus woman equals children !" "What use is your money ?" "What use is your life ?" "Filling of Monte Acuto nuts is delicious !" "Good for you !" "Sure, they're the best in Umbria." "But I not want nuts for honor Umbria," "I want dates for honor Egypt." "Then do it yourself !" "Get this guy," "I bust my ass to make him win and all he thinks about is honoring Egypt !" "You not do for me, you do for you !" " You fall for chocolate !" " What are you saying !" "What a mess !" "Taste this." "Dates and Monte Acuto nuts very, very delicious !" "I'll redo the chocolate at school with the professional glazer." "There is machine at school ?" "I have to see !" "If they catch us ?" "I Kamal, you Kamal, all Kamal ?" "What good is course if I not know machine ?" "You hire worker that not know cement mixer ?" "Alright." "I'll get the keys from them." "Sleep well." "I want to trust you, but if you burn down the Chocolate School, I'll melt you." "Excellent, see how quality materials pay off ?" "I don't know in construction..." "Milo, your study of chromatics is touching, but why rainbow ?" "It stands out." "In my pastry shop I want to see only "Choco-Milo"." "How's it going, "KGB"?" "Why do you treat me like this ?" "You're out-moded and hate innovation." "To innovate means to do something lasting in time, not special effects that dazzle." "Think about it." "How's it going here ?" "I'd try adding a little liquor." "Sure..." "Sure, it's all set, see you at school at 11, bye Kam..." "Camilla." "Who's Camilla ?" "Wife of sick cousin, has to bring something." "You not call me Camilla, Egyptian not like this joke." "They were listening to me !" "Say you sorry !" "Beautiful !" " What is that ?" " It's the glazer." " How much is sugar-co...?" " Sugar-coater." "Glazer." " Used, a bargain ?" " I don't know, tomorrow I'll ask." "Open up !" "Hide !" "It's Cecilia, open up !" "What's the matter ?" " Why are you in the dark ?" " I work better." "Out of the way." "I'm such an idiot !" "I thought you were here with Camilla and not working." "When I hear a woman's name, I think there's something going on." "That's it, I don't give a damn anymore." " What are you doing ?" " Want me to spell it out for you ?" "We can't do it here." "No one's around." " Think of trauma in your life." " I have !" "Now that I've met an honest man I don't want to lose him." "I also a bit asshole." "Real men never say that." "Kamal says no !" "But why ?" "Because I... complex "masculity"." "It drives me crazy when you act shy." "If you've ever told me just one lie, even an innocent one," "tell me now, you're still in time." "So?" "I love you." " Don't want to." " Come on !" "You do it." "If you do it, I'll tell you something I've never told anyone." "I have something to say too." "Is it short or long ?" "A little long." "Then tell me later, it's two o'clock there's the conference." "Two o'clock ?" "It was noon just a moment ago." "The morning flew." "Yes, Osvaldo, make it fast, I'm late." "We've a disaster here." "Radu dumped all the roof tiles and half of them broke." " So what !" " There's at least 2,000 euro damage." "Radu is a good kid, don't worry." "When he comes in, give him a big hand, he's a little vain." "Is he good-looking ?" "He has a certain appeal." "Come in !" "Professor Ugolini, expert on the effects of chocolate." "Too kind !" "You know each other ?" "She's my contractor's sister-in-law, a very eccentric girl." "But you're a thug !" " He's Kamal's boss !" " The one who hires off-book ?" "Cecilia, you're mixed-up, the Professor is a luminary." "Of illegal building sites." "Aren't you ashamed to come here ?" "Please !" "Yes, immigration disturbs me too, but no one's a foreigner here." "I'm not Kamal, the Master Chef isn't Kamal..." "It's a nice day, everything's fine." "Sorry I'm late !" "Glad you're here !" "Mr Cavedoni, are you here to pick up your sister-in-law ?" "He's no contractor !" "He's Kamal !" "That's one theory, another is he's your brother-in-law Mattia Cavedoni, a contractor." "What do you say ?" "I didn't lie to you," "I mean, it's true I'm a contractor, and my name's Mattia Cavedoni and I'm not Egyptian..." "I'll kill you I" "Give me two minutes, I can explain everything !" "Hear me out before you judge." "Hi, how are you ?" "Fine." "Why wine ?" "You know I not drink." "It's for me." "I have to talk to you." "So?" " We got kicked out of the course." " What ?" "We got kicked out of the course, I got found out." "I'm sorry." "Don't take it so hard." "Don't worry about anything." "I'll make you chief foreman, you'll earn 2,000 euro a month." "You not buy all with money, deal says: no diploma, yes Police." "I want to help you, we're friends." "Not friends !" "If I not break arms, you never ask how I am." "That's true, but I swear I've changed." "Proverb says:" "if goat learn to fly, is still goat." "I taste wine." " Are you sure ?" " Yes." "More !" "You know why you should go to the Police ?" "I'm an asshole, I'm petty, a crackpot..." "And there's another thing..." "I exploit you." "Yes, you are stinker, but "masculity" not bad, exam score D+." "Kamal, A+." "I hate you, you know why ?" "Because my beautiful love Ceci loves you, not me." "Drown in it !" "It's finished." "Moment, Egypt magic" "Sometimes Kamal does wrong." "I love you Kamal !" "Why aren't I like you ?" "You have all the values, family, children, God, relatives..." "You're perfection !" "But your wine is more good !" "What are you doing at this hour ?" "You're both drunk..." "Go home !" " Will you really report me ?" " Yes I" "Get out, never show your face again !" "Shame on you, look at the state you're in, go to bed !" "Luigi, why don't you try with me ?" "Because you'd say yes." "And the prospect is so dismal." "Going to bed with me is dismal too, that's when I'm in shape, otherwise it's worse." "You're a bit nervous, it's normal, everything's in the balance." "The trick is to pretend there's no audience or judges." "Pretend you're at home making chocolates for a person you care for." "Come on !" "You ?" "I'm Kamal." "Trendy ?" "Are you kidding me ?" "This is normal stuff, it's in all the catalogues." "No, you won't find it in the catalogues, because they're rejects, stuff to throw out, like you asked." "Rejects ?" "When did I ask for that ?" "If you want to spend 300 instead of 500, you want rejects, off-book labor and cracks in twenty years." "Do you want a safe, anti-seismic, non-polluting home and solar panels ?" "It costs 600,000 euro, okay ?" "Admit you can't do your job." "There is no quality at low cost." "Want it ?" "Pay for good materials and safe construction sites." "Personally I'm sick of being an outlaw for clients like you." "Then leave." " Go make chocolates." " Don't I wish." "It's all on the house." "I'm tired." "Please, I want to make chocolates." "Do you know what off-book labor is ?" " Is this a déjà-vu?" " No, it's another smartass." "Please, give diploma and let me do contest, I studied much." "I know all the rules by heart, question me." "I pastry cook at Bassim Bassam !" "Does Azum still work there ?" "Who ?" "We do the contest ?" "You convinced the Chef ?" "Great Kamal, we'll win it !" "Your laborer ?" "But we're partners !" "You not partner, diploma and chocolates in name of Kamal, you laborer, or me Police !" "Thank you." "I'll be back by six." "There's a hitch, we have to delay the start." "No way." " You signed a contract." " You're right." "My dear, I'll be home for dinner, no, don't cook..." "Ladies and Gentlemen, good evening." "It's simple: car, gas !" "One hundred years ago, a small laboratory came into being in Perugia destined to become synonymous with the art of taste." "These one hundred years of Italian chocolate history today will discover a new protagonist selected from six contestants who I'd like to bring in with a big hand !" "We begin with Corrado Mineo." "He studied chocolate abroad and is a man of new ideas." "We really felt the need I" "Moving on to Cecilia Ferri, from Frascati." "She has just one passion, chocolate !" "Too bad." "Kamal Hawas Guaib, 42, from Cairo, construction laborer and ready for every sacrifice to become a pastry chef." "Kamal has been injured so we're waiting for his helper." "He's coming." "If we wait any longer, we'll be celebrating the Bicentennial." "Okay, let's start." "I'm very sorry, your helper hasn't come, so I say goodbye." "Here I am !" "I'm here !" "Sorry." "We can begin, you have one hour once the stopwatch starts." "Go!" "Not look woman, work !" "He's a fool, who'll eat that gold bar, an ATM ?" "Your attention, a surprise announcement." "Corrado Mineo has been disqualified because his chocolate is already on the market." " I didn't know, I was abroad." " Neither did I, leave." "What ?" "We've come to the most important moment of the evening, we have the name of number one." "The winner is..." ""I Love Shamira", a date and nut chocolate by Kamal Hawas Guaib !" "Congratulations." "A very well-balanced contest, but let's ask the champion." " What was the turning point ?" " When I got idea." "Monte Acuto nuts and dates is delicious." " Have you seen Cecilia ?" " She was here a minute ago." "Good luck." "What do you say," "Marrakesh or Malta ?" "Bora Bora." "I don't want your pastry shops, I'll open one like Kamal." "If only you were capable." "You could have said you were doing that one," "I'd have warned you I'd already invented a new orange dark." "I wanted to do the simplest thing, like you said." "Too bad, you could have won." "I thought I could say goodbye." "Thank you." "Don't get too carried away, I only said goodbye." "That means a lot to me." " I'd like to hear it everyday." " We say goodbye when..." "Goodbye." "I have no right to say I love you, but I say I miss you and need you." "It's the first time I don't stress out thinking you'll want to marry me." "Are you an idiot ?" "I say goodbye and you talk of marriage ?" "I'm an asshole, but you're condemned to assholes and I'm the best." "Lucky me g" "I wanted to say..." "I'm the best you could hope for." "A repentant asshole who hopes to change." "What an exciting prospect." "I'm often in Frascati for work, maybe I could call you." "Sure, you won't find me anyway." "I'm coming here, the Chef accepted me for a 6-month internship." "That's perfect !" "I won the contest, you do the internship, we'll open a pastry shop." "I swear all hiring will be legal." "I have to go see a house." "Wait." "Can I see you again ?" "Even just bump into you." "I'll see you." "Just bump into you." "How can you buy just 10 euro of gas ?" "Fill the tank, it won't evaporate !" "At the end of the month it amounts to the same thing." "With little gas, you more attention and never fourth gear, at end of month, very savings." "Do you think Cecilia is in love ?" "I think so, but not with you." "With Who ?" "With Kamal !" "You know something ?" "You're a bigger asshole than me." "No, Kamal little asshole, you big I" "You even took merit for the nuts !" "Not on purpose, Kamal confused, music, prize, important Mr Ravello..." " See, you're the bigger asshole." " No, you." "Okay, equal assholes, can I offer a pizza ?" " Yes, but not pizza, kebab" " No, kebab no."