"Not a cloud in the sky" "Where could my lover be?" "One hundred flowers bloom just waiting to be picked" "Won't he stop a while and smell them?" "The Purple Sword of Heaven?" "That should be worth a few bucks!" "Who goes there?" "What is your name?" "I can't tell you my real name" "But I'm going to a place called America" "And my new name will be The Green Hornet!" "Don't you know the Purple Sword of Heaven" "Belongs to Purple Cloud the immortal?" "I'm just a thief, what's it to me?" "For a thief, such ignorance" "Can be a very dangerous thing!" "Give it a rest pal!" "If I was an educated man" "I wouldn't need to be a thief then would I?" "Well then, allow me to enlighten you." "The woman you just robbed" "Is the immortal, Rose." "She is obsessed with the exploits of the legendary Purple Cloud." "And is waiting for the day when her true love comes along" "And pulls the sword from its scabbard." "So that together they can live happily ever after." "So she stole the Purple Sword of Heaven from its place in front of the Celestial Lantern" "And brought it to the world of mortals." "Just as Purple Cloud once did" "She too is looking for someone who can release the sword" "Well who is it then?" "It was me." "Now it's you!" "Where did you go?" "Come out!" "You pig headed fool!" "Finally, I have found him." "He is "The One"!" "The One, What if we get married tonight!" "What are you doing?" "What the hell?" "My pants get loose when I'm nervous" "You've pulled out the Purple Sword of Heaven!" "I'm so excited" "There's been a misunderstanding" "It was that jackass who pulled the sword out just now, Not me!" "Where is he?" "He's gone." "He said he was going to America" "You can still catch him if you leave now!" "You're only kidding yourself." "My heart is in agony...agony" "Since God has already blessed this marriage" "Why don't we just accept it?" "Right?" "Just accept it!" "Be a good boy!" "Miss" "T o prove that I didn't release the sword" "I'll try again right now just to show you!" "One, two, three!" "It doesn't count." "Three for two" "One, two, three..." "This thing is broken" "I know!" "Perhaps you can't accept this blessing" "Because you can't believe" "That God could shine so kindly upon you" "By having sent me to marry you" "Actually, I didn't think it was you either." "Not at first." "But if we could have figured this out for ourselves" "We would have no use for God!" "Well then, have you figured out that" "I could use this sword to kill you now?" "Ok!" "Deng..." "Deng..." "Deng..." "Deng..." "This is our wedding cake" "We can have the ceremony tonight" "Over my dead body!" "I'll devote myself to you just like this baby pig" "T ake your time." "Enjoy it." "Come, quickly!" "Quickly!" "Enough!" "Wait for me!" "Don't follow me!" "Stop running!" "Stop!" "It was my fault!" "I shouldn't have robbed you!" "T ake some money and let me go please!" "Have you lost your mind?" "So many people who could have robbed me." "But it was you." "It was destined that we would be together." "Why the hell is this banana in a bamboo forest?" "Isn't it destiny for banana and bamboo to be together?" "Like you and me." "At first glance, it appears not to match" "Come to think of it, we are just like this "banaboo"" "T alk to you later" "Qing Yi Se the thief, we've been tracking you for over a month" "Come with us to the sheriff' s station!" "Don't be afraid!" "I'll protect you!" "You protect me?" "I would rather give myself up!" "This way!" "Come on!" "Good!" "Good..." "Where'd they go?" "No idea." "Where did they go?" "Right!" "They were just here" "Can't have gone too far" "Check the Water Cube!" "Ok!" "Qing Yi Se." "Don't run so fast..." "Why are you so happy?" "Look" "The road to marriage" "I won't give it to you!" "Bite me?" "Bull Demon King!" "Stop!" "You thought I wouldn't recognize you with plastic surgery?" "I'd recognize your ashes" "Plastic surgery...you think I had plastic surgery?" "I came up with a new look just for Purple Cloud, you don't like it?" "Give me back the box!" "You lost." "You have to drink!" "Stop running!" "Kill him!" "Got it!" "Anybody else?" "Me!" "Wait for me!" "Purple Cloud!" "Where are you?" "Since you can't find Purple Cloud" "Why don't you just let us use the "Moon Light Box"" "Yeah!" "I want to find the T ang Monk" "I have something urgent to discuss with him" "You call yourselves my friends?" "For my true love" "For my Purple Cloud" "I travelled through time and space with this "Moon Light Box"" "I left my wife!" "Think that was easy for me?" "You two promised to assist me" "But now neither of you are being much help." "I..." "Excuse me..." "Is this the legendary "Moon Light Box"?" "Not only moon light!" "With the latest upgrade we also can use solar power" "What about the Bhagavati Sutra?" "Bhagavati?" "Bhagavati..." "Bhagavati..." "Don't say it!" "Don't say it" "Got out!" "Wait for me!" "This is the chaos of war." "Where have I travelled to?" "Excuse me!" "Please tell me where we are?" "We are at Chang Ban Slope" "At war with Cao's army, General Zhao" "What?" "General!" "General Zhao..." "I'm giving Ah Dou to you" "You got the wrong guy" "Give yourself to me" "Why are you giving me a baby?" "General Zhao" "Please take Ah Dou with you and bring him to your lord, Liu Bei!" "I told you I want you, not the baby!" "General..." "I heard before that Zhao Zi Long was a scoundrel!" "I would rather jump down a well than let you take advantage of me!" "Don't!" "Don't jump" "Don't jump!" "I steal treasure." "Not virtue!" "I just want that piece of jade on your chest!" "Ah..." "Crown prince master!" "Death to you, Zhao Zi Long!" "That's revolting..." "I always knew you stank." "How are things going over there?" "Missing an eye and still no mercy!" "Sons of bitches!" "Meet the human fire hose!" "General Zhao Zi Long is back with Ah Dou!" "Zi Long..." "My lord!" "I got Ah Dou back!" "My Lord?" "Or the Prime Minister?" "Huh, what's your name?" "I'm Cao!" "That's right!" "Prime minister and Liu Bei were enemies yesterday" "I surrender to you today" "And dedicate Ah Dou to you" "So isn't yesterday's Prime Minister today's..." "My lord!" "Guess if I believe you or not." "I will give you one chance to tell the truth" "Lie and I will have you killed!" "I..." "I can tell you but you won't believe me" "T ry me" "Thanks my lord" "One afternoon about five hundred years ago" "I was just doing my job as usual, stealing treasure not virtue" "When I caught a woman" "But I didn't do anything to her" "A series of strange things happened, starting with a purple heavenly sword." "A bastard pulled it out from the scabbard somehow" "But he kept on saying I did it" "And then this woman called Rose totally believed him" "And she forced me to marry her" "Of course I refused." "So I just ran and ran" "And ran and ran" "And ran and ran" "Finally I defeated that Bull Demon King and then" "Wrong!" "I was that woman" "Just like the woman of Bull Demon King" "She gave me a moon cake box" "And Boom!" "I showed up here" "So I just brought Ah Dou by to have tea and moon cakes with you" "Do you believe me?" "You dare play language games with me?" "If Liu Bei's men can do it" "My men can do it too" "You!" "Y es!" "One afternoon about five hundred years ago" "I was just doing my job as usual, stealing treasure not virtue" "When I caught a woman" "But I didn't do anything to her" "A series of strange things happened, starting with a purple heavenly sword." "A bastard pulled it out from the scabbard somehow" "But he kept on saying I did it" "And then this woman called Rose totally believed him" "And she forced me to marry her" "Of course I refused." "So I just ran and ran" "And ran and ran" "And ran and ran" "Finally I defeated that Bull Demon King" "Wrong!" "I was that woman" "Just like the woman of Bull Demon King" "She gave me a moon cake box" "And Boom!" "I showed up here" "So I just brought Ah Dou by to have tea and moon cakes with you" "Do you believe me?" "Encore!" "Encore..." "Encore..." "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "I'm talking about you!" "I'm talking about you!" "What?" "What?" "Forget it..." "Forget it..." "Are you some kind of parrot?" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "From that sparkle in your eye" "I can confidently discern that you are an assassin" "Frisk him!" "Y es!" "Blinking is my occupational hazard." "Bro!" "What box?" "Bring it to me" "Y es!" "Bha...vati" "Don't say it!" "Prime minister!" "That's just for decoration." "It's actually for plucking nose hairs" "It's not that easy to fool Cao!" "No, it's not..." "You're saying this is Ah Dou?" "I just don't believe it" "It might be a bug!" "Maybe even a recorder" "You're saying it's a pair of tweezers" "I think it's for clipping toe nails" "Now I'm going to let you and this thing called Ah Dou" "Go home" "Prime Minister, you're going to let them go just like that?" "It's called hiding an iron hand inside of a velvet glove." "Give him 3 bags of milk powder, you know which brand, right?" "Understood" "Yes!" "I want my nail clippers back!" "I want my nail clippers back..." "As far as I know" "Dong Wu and Liu Bei have already formed an alliance" "T oday, Zhou Yu and Zhu Ge..." "Are going to sing together tonight" "Left, right..." "left, right" "Wow this vodka is so pure!" "Mr. Zhu Ge, this is Oolong tea!" "I mean this Oolong is" "As pure as Vodka" "Beyond all expectations" "Mr. Zhu Ge" "Because of my heart disease and hypertension!" "I take tea instead of vodka ok" "Mr. Zhou, war or peace, you have to decide as soon as possible" "Cao's army is heading south" "Mr. Lu Su" "We made a deal" "We wouldn't talk about war today." "Just try to have some fun" "I've heard that Mr. Zhu Ge is a master of various disciplines" "He is well versed in music, chess, calligraphy, painting...everything" "May I ask you to write something for my lady?" "Just a little bit!" "I just know a little bit about everything" "T o be honest my reputation is something of an exaggeration" "Ok, I'll try my best!" "Mr. Zhou!" "Oh!" "Beau?" "Wrong" "It's "beautiful"" "This is what I can spell so far" "Like I said I know a little bit about everything, people always think I'm just modest" "Actually I really only know a little" "You are very charming" "And your calligraphy is moist, not dry" "Clear but not chilly." "Plump but not heavy." "Refreshing to spirit and stimulating to mind!" "I'm so flattered" "May I ask if you know music?" "A little bit!" "If Zhou Yu and Zhu Ge could play music together just one time" "That song would be sung for an eternity" "And result in a very popular karaoke selection" "From his music" "I sensed that he had read my mind" "From his music I sensed that" "He has read that I read his mind" "From their music" "I sensed that we'd be going home soon!" "From their music" "I sensed that they would be wanting sweet and sour pork for dinner" "General Zhao is back with Ah Dou!" "General Zhao is back!" "Please sign it, General Zhao ok..." "Alright no problem..." "Be careful" "One by one, no problem" "Lady, you're stepping on my foot!" "Next...no hurry..." "Ok..." "Be careful..." "Be careful" "General, general!" "I'll sign for you of course" "Sign these too" "Brother!" "Need some signatures for your girlfriend?" "Girlfriend?" "These are for the money you still owe!" "You need to sign these for the bank!" "Hurry up!" "I'll deal with you later ok?" "Hey Hey!" "You..." "What are you looking at?" "Heeheehee..." "Your bone structure is exquisite." "It's one in a million." "I'll give you a discount" "This is what I have, which one do you like?" "What kind of book?" "Why would I read this kind of book?" "Personally I prefer the Spring and Autumn Annals" "Spring and Autumn Annals my ass!" "You took my porn books." "Don't take airs with me!" "Hey..." "Yee..." "Yee..." "Yee...what?" "Why do you just always yee yee when you see me?" "I thought you forgot about me!" "How can I forget?" "Are they fresh water pearls or ocean?" "Zi Long" "Big brother is waiting for you!" "Is that him?" "I'm very kind." "No need to be afraid!" "My lord!" "General Zhao is back!" "General Zhao is back!" "My lord!" "My lord!" "Zi Long, you've been through a lot!" "My lord!" "I risked my cherished life" "Handsome face and sexy voice" "And successfully protected the young lord's life" "I don't expect a great award even though I did a great job" "Several thousand taels of silver should be fine" "No price is too high for this accomplishment." "Missus!" "Yes!" "Help yourself" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "What the hell?" "Now what?" "This is my husband's latest invention, straw swim fins" "Specially made for fighting against Cao's army across the river." "We shall be victorious!" "Wow." "Even poor people like you enlisted?" "How dare you!" "Scary!" "What you just said definitely weakened my soldiers' morale" "Missus..." "Zi Long is just being honest." "Zi Long, I have a good idea" "Let's cooperate with foreign kingdoms" "Once we have conquered these lands l propose a low-risk revenue sharing model" "We can attacking Cao both from front and back" "And afterwards we can split the spoils 30/70" "But we have to a learn foreign language to communicate with them" "There is no better communication than music" "Music is the international language" "My lord," "The good-will ambassador from T urkestan is waiting, my lord!" "Please!" "should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?" "Should old acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne for auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne we'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne" "su-la-la la su-la-la la su-la-la la ah-ah-o-o" "Billie Jean come on su la la la" "We two have paddled in the stream" "From morning sun till dine" "But seas between us broad have roared" "Since auld lang syne for auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne" "My brother!" "I think the ambassador likes you" "In that case, I'll assign you to protect her." "No, it's not necessary." "I just..." "Do me a favor, come on!" "You little bugger!" "Hiding here with your porn." "No wonder you're always blushing" "Good night, ambassador!" "Hmm!" "The Moon Light box" "Can't you just take me somewhere peaceful to enjoy a happy life together?" "Making me a watch dog, protect the ambassador" "My ass!" "I'd better go to Cao's to get the box back!" "Here are the keys!" "General" "We figured you would deal with Cao" "Oh ya?" "Since we both have similar interests" "Why don't we go back to have a drink before killing Cao" "Ok" "My treat" "A bunch of dumbasses." "Want to get me drunk?" "I'm still standing while they're down for the count." "Gen..." "What's it to you!" "Do we know each other?" "You guys all pretending to be a tree?" "Next time I'll pretend to be a pile of shit!" "What'll you do then?" "Shit isn't difficult." "Peeing." "Now that's hard." "Lazing about are we?" "General!" "Ah?" "What's your name?" "I'm Osim!" "What are you doing?" "Ancient Thai massage!" "This is all the rage down south" "Changing tempo with the screaming of the customer" "The louder you are, the faster it goes!" "What time is it?" "Aren't you going for a midnight snack?" "Where are your priorities!" "I know you can't accept me right now" "I don't mind" "Love is like a durian" "The first bite" "It's hard" "But with time and you'll learn to love it" "In order to help you accept me little by little" "Instead of being scared of my appearance" "I disguised myself as the ambassador" "God!" "It's so stuffy in this thing!" "Ah...?" "That's more like it." "Ambassador!" "You idiot." "I am a human!" "Don't crank me like an engine!" "Till you accept me" "Ambassador..." "Ambassador..." "Ambassador..." "Who?" "Who?" "Are you alright?" "I'm fine!" "It's impossible." "I saw your head..." "What about my head?" "I saw it...split" "That was my sister's head!" "When did your sister arrive?" "What, what did I say" "I don't have a sister, where's the head?" "General!" "You scared me!" "Sesame soup is ready!" "Good timing." "Have some soup ok?" "Ambassador..." "You look different?" "Women always look different without makeup" "Have some soup!" "You don't like it?" "People from T urkestan prefer to drink it cold!" "But I waited for it to cool off already" "Let's eat it then!" "You..." "It's normal!" "Every night after 1 2 o'clock, we have to rest our hands" "So we can't use them to eat" "Why didn't you tell me?" "My lord asked me to serve you, I can't very well disappoint him" "Come on." "Open up!" "Sister" "Don't start it if you can't finish." "Such a waste!" "You can drink some if she doesn't!" "Why don't you drink it?" "Maybe not!" "Go, go, go..." "What happened to your sister?" "She's so floppy" "The earth is under attack..." "Ah!" "She looks so familiar" "It doesn't make sense!" "He's starting to get used to my look" "Hey!" "Security here is so tight, there must be some gap we can sneak through" "General, we don't have any gaps here!" "I see." "Bit of an awkward question is it?" "How about this, can you tell me if, hypothetically speaking" "There was a gap, where it might be?" "This is so well concealed." "Nobody would ever find it!" "Stab" "Stick" "Prick, prod!" "Stab, stick, prick, prod!" "You there!" "What is the difference between" "Stab, stick, prick, and prod?" "Nothing!" "Basically, it's just four kinds of poking." "There he goes blowing things up again!" "Prod!" "You dare blow up my gate?" "Jen..." "I kill you..." "Jen..." "You dare blow up my gate..." "Such a beauty" "No wonder General Gan would want to die in her arms!" "I'm sure she is the kind of women to steal your money and your heart all in one fell swoop" "Not you too?" "..." "T ruth be told, in the very heart of every man" "There is a bitch..." "Bitch!" "Where's my rent!" "Landlady, how did you get here?" "None of your business" "You don't have money to pay the rent." "But you can afford to train an army for war?" "Is Liu Bei really so powerful?" "Is Sun Quan really so fierce?" "If you don't pay up in two days" "I'll tear this place down and build a shopping mall!" "Got it?" "A little bit!" "Are you screwing with me?" "I couldn't be more clear" "And you tell me you understand a little bit" "A little bit is just my pet phrase" "Could you put your sword away, lady?" "No way!" "Land lady" "We are about to start the battle against Cao" "Rent won't be a problem if we win the war" "But the problem is" "Can't you just wait a few days?" "Losers!" "I wouldn't hire you to plaster a wall, and you want to fight Cao?" "Ever heard the term economic meltdown?" "How about subprime crisis?" "Even I'm fighting to survive in this climate, how can you possibly win?" "Fine!" "I'll give you 1 0 percent off" "Fine!" "Brothers, my landlord mocks us" "She says we're going to fail" "Let's prove to her" "That she's wrong about our stock!" "That's right!" "Death to Cao!" "Get money to pay the rent!" "Death to Cao!" "Get money to pay the rent!" "Death to Cao!" "Get money to pay the rent!" "Honey." "It seems these people really don't have money" "If you don't let them do some pillaging" "We probably won't see a penny!" "How do you know?" "I just spoke to Mrs. Zhou, Xiao Qiao" "She really has nothing!" "Were you checking her out?" "I peeped on her in the bath." "I'm telling you, she's got nothing!" "You want to beat me?" "T ricked me into jumping into this shithole, damn you!" "Wow General Xia" "The Prime Minister is brilliant" "Wu's army thought we marched the long way around" "And would assembly all our forces for a decisive victory on the east bank" "So stupid." "Prepare the surprise attack." "Stop!" "This kid is so ugly" "This is not right, they are not scared by us" "Maybe it's a trap!" "He mentioned my mom." "Kill them!" "General Xia!" "General Xia!" "There might be an ambush ahead!" "I don't believe it!" "I hate people making jokes about my mother!" "Protect General Xia...hurry, hurry up!" "Feeling anything?" "Don't be so preoccupied with appearances!" "Actually my heart is a thing to be valued as well!" "I should say" "I am the one in a million who is faithful in love" "I'm not afraid of you!" "Great!" "Get ready for the reflection!" "Kill!" "Kill!" "All the horses have closed their eyes!" "Quick!" "Sunglasses!" "Calm down, brothers!" "We've been through so many battles." "There's nothing they can throw at us that we haven't seen before!" "Come..." "Awesome" "Where did they find them?" "More than awesome" "It's awe-inspiring!" "Is it?" "After all this" "You know I am a person who has the courage to love and hate" "I think it's the time to reveal my true face!" "Qing Yi Se..." "Fire!" "Yes!" "Ambush!" "Where?" "Withdraw!" "Withdraw!" "Withdraw!" "Withdraw!" "Retreat!" "Withdraw!" "Retreat!" "Retreat!" "I don't believe I can't get rid of you..." "You dare to stop me?" "Little prick..." "I'm not stopping you..." "Ya..." "I'll cut you to pieces!" "Don't be afraid." "I'm here" "Come on." "Wake up" "I'll carry you back if you don't wake up!" "You want me to carry you?" "What does this mean?" "Did they..." "Add Rice beside my Cao?" "And put English on it?" "T onight I will steal one of his flags" "And I'll..." "Add some fries to his Liu." "I should be punished!" "Let's engage them on the river since we failed over land!" "Please think twice Prime Minister" "Even though we have an army of eight hundred thousand." "We are not used to fighting on water" "Prime minister" "The ships keep swaying back and forth" "Our soldiers are getting dizzy and nauseous" "So we..." "I just don't believe" "How is that only southerners can handle water" "We northerners have been riding on horseback all day" "Swinging around all the time too" "Why don't we feel dizzy?" "It's simple" "When we're riding" "We swing back and forth" "Starting tomorrow," "We ride side to side." "Swinging left to right." "Like a willow tree." "We'll get used to it!" "Fighting on water" "Will be a piece of cake!" "Right!" "Why didn't we think of that?" "Right!" "The Prime minister is wise!" "Prime minister, allow me to train our eight hundred thousand soldiers in your willow swinging technique." "I'll wipe out Wu to atone for my earlier failures...heehee" "Kneel down!" "I should be punished!" "Don't get angry, Prime minister!" "War cannot be won through a single tactic" "Better for us to fight this battle on two legs!" "I've hired a top assassin" "T o murder Liu Bei!" "I know!" "It must be Jin Ke" "Wrong!" "It's the legendary king of killers" "The Fire Cloud Evil God!" "Prime minister" "Are you sure this old guy can do it?" "Strength can always be overcome..." "Only speed is eternally victorious" "I shot my hand, I didn't even blink!" "Isn't that great?" "Look!" "Now I'm going to shoot myself in the head" "What did I tell you?" "All in the reflexes" "I just lower my head, and he takes the bullet!" "Everyone calm down!" "It's not a big deal to get hurt in Kungfu world." "It's just a few stitches." "Don't you have the miracle doctor Hua T uo?" "Please have him tend to my wounds!" "You just shot him!" "How can it be you?" "I must be dreaming?" "It's not a dream." "It is me!" "Ok!" "I'll change back." "There, how's that?" "Better?" "You are so shallow" "Isn't it still me inside?" "Great!" "Why do you like me this way?" "You don't like it?" "You're an immortalist?" "Or you don't have the guts to love me?" "Who doesn't have guts?" "It just so happens that in this world, I reserve my love for strawberries, apples and oranges" "That's all?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "I'll get them for you!" "I'm an immortal." "I can be anything you want!" "Can you be a Moon Light box?" "Yes!" "But I won't be the real one." "A fake one doesn't work." "If you really want it..." "I am an immortal after all." "I'll just go to Cao's to get it." "Great idea!" "What is great?" "Aren't you afraid of me?" "Who said that?" "How come?" "Didn't you scream every time you see me?" "Men scream because when they see the woman of their dreams" "They can't control their happiness!" "Really?" "Happy..." "Ya...ah...yeah...yes..." "Are you very happy?" "Happy!" "Please let me down!" "It's so soon you're done being happy?" "Of course not!" "But I miss you so much!" "Do you love me then?" "Come on!" "I love you so much..." "I deserve it!" "I love you!" "You love me for what?" "I wouldn't love you if you were the last person on earth." "You still owe me for your gambling debt." "You still can't repay me?" "And yet you come here with murder in your eye?" "What the hell do you want?" "I was sent here to kill Liu Bei and Sun Quan" "They are my tenants" "And still owe me several months rent" "If you kill them, my wife will take another month's loss" "She won't let you go!" "If you say so." "I guess I'll have to kill you both" "I'll get to keep the money I owe you and make a little extra on the side" "Good can't coexist with evil." "It has always been thus." "And if I refused to go to hell, who would take my place?" "Enough with the cliches" "Stop talking!" "Come on!" "I haven't got all day!" "A big fight always begins with a prologue." "Six Fingered String Demon?" "The Lion Roar doesn't scare me" "Why would I fear your shitty strings?" "How about Buddha Fist?" "Right!" "Bring on the one in a million" "You?" "Where's your old man?" "My dad has gone to the United States." "He sent me to handle you!" "As the saying goes, one generation replaces the other" "CJ Seven is better the Six" "Daddy..." "Have you lost your mind?" "How could you beat up a little kid..." "Call your dad then!" "Not necessary!" "I got friends!" "Hubby" "Do you remember the time you got clobbered by a fist falling from the sky?" "You mean the lost Buddha Fist?" "Why are you fighting us, not The Fire Cloud Evil God?" "You want to be killed?" "You..." "Animals are stupid." "I told you so!" "It's a perfect day for a war." "The breeze is marvelous!" "Keeps the men from getting sweaty" "Rose." "Be careful." "If you get sick, I'll die of a broken heart." "How about I knit a scarf for you tonight!" "Promise me you will take care of yourself!" "Rose, you've been so good to me, let me carry you" "Look, the grass is so sharp" "I'll kill them if your feet get hurt!" "Come!" "Qing Yi Se my dear, do you know..." "What a woman wants most?" "T o marry a rich guy and get dozens of houses under her name" "T o go shopping around carrying a Louis Vuitton" "Drinking swallows nests and munching abalone!" "For a woman, no matter how successful she is out there in the world..." "The most important thing is to come back home, a real home!" "Right!" "Well said!" "I like you just the way you are" "And I am a family man myself" "I always say" "I'll steal all the treasure and jewelry for my wife" "And take all the toys for my son..." "I adore you, Qing Yi Se!" "After you." "I'll get the fruit!" "Ok!" "Rose" "Come back soon" "I can't go to long without seeing you, you know that?" "Em!" "Hubby, you're back?" "Hubby?" "Do I know you?" "I'm your wife" "You've got the wrong person, don't you?" "You are the princess of Dong Wu and I'm the general of Han Royalty" "We have nothing to do with each other" "How come I didn't know I have a family here?" "Of course you didn't know" "You are always out there fighting your wars" "And taking care of the ambassador" "When did you ever get time to take care of this family?" "Dad, Dad..." "Dad?" "Hey!" "I know a setup when I see one!" "The black one's mine too?" "This is Sean!" "He is the son of me and my former ex" "No, my present ex husband John!" "Wasn't your former ex husband General Zhang Fei?" "Your present ex isn't General Zhang." "His name is John!" "No...oh...yes, it's right!" "You made a mistake." "Here's the thing, Zi Long..." "Sean is black" "I'm brown" "Perhaps you could believe he's a descendent of Judge Bao" "But you cannot doubt me" "Or Obama!" "Good thing none of your kids are red," "Otherwise those reporters would make up all kinds of crap." "My lord." "What are you guys doing here?" "Oh!" "We were here for the T urkestan ambassador" "T o discuss the battle of Red Cliff" "Who knew the two of them..." "Were crying like babies for you" "When it comes to affairs of the heart I'm a bit of a numbskull." "So I called the military counselor" "I just know a little bit!" "I once helped a cow to woo a horse" "Who was having an affair with a donkey" "Counselor, I have no idea what you are talking about!" "Simply speaking" "She knows you have a wife and kids" "She doesn't want to break you up" "She only wants you to have a real home" "She said she had never flown a kite before" "She always dreamed of having fun like mortals" "She'll leave after she's done with this" "If you think suicide can solve your problems, I'll jump with you" "A home needs someone you love in it" "Otherwise it is just a prison" "My mom always told me" "You're a loser." "Don't cause trouble for others." "That's why I have no family, no friends, no lover" "It's because I don't want to cause trouble" "I'm even afraid to say I like you!" "But today it finally occurred to me" "My mom was concerned about me getting people in trouble" "Because she didn't know I would fall in love with someone who wasn't human" "An immortal!" "So you jump, I jump!" "Ok, ok..." "After we get the box back!" "We'll escape far far away, OK?" "It's a deal... still with the hitting?" "Didn't you say..." "You could "shoo" and get on the ship as an immortal?" "Can we steal the box that easily?" "Didn't I tell you immortals shouldn't hit people without a good reason?" "Never mind the fact that we're here to break the law" "I can't use my magic for stealing" "Then why did you bother coming?" "Shh..." "Princess Sun is back!" "Princess is back!" "Princess!" "Princess..." "Please!" "Shang Xiang?" "How did you get so dirty?" "I'm pretending to be one of Cao's soldiers" "I changed my name to fat pig and snuck into Cao's compound to watch football" "And then I saw his army of eight hundred thousand soldiers" "Swaying side to side as they performed their drills" "They can sway side to side?" "And that's not all" "I also copied down a bunch of military secrets" "Damn!" "I just can't I swing the way you do!" "How come it looks so good when you do it?" "Our main force is attacking this way." "This way!" "Y eah right" "Prime minister!" "T oday's report:" "No vomiting recorded!" "Ah... a woman." "No wonder" "Get off..." "Congratulations!" "Prime minister!" "After strict training, Our eight hundred thousand soldiers" "Has mastered the willow swinging technique" "And are fully prepared to fight on water" "It's just a matter of time before we wipe out the south bank!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "You think you can just by swaying side to side?" "You are so naive!" "Prime Minister your prescience is humbling!" "Willow swinging won't work if it's too windy" "We have to connect all the ships by wooden boards" "In what I call a Warships Connected by Wooden Boards Formation" "We must win!" "Air raid?" "Look out!" "Air raid!" "Run!" "Air raid!" "Woman!" "We'll protect you!" "Fire!" "Again?" "My new uniform!" "We must split up" "I'll go there and you stay here!" "Split up?" "Isn't that dangerous" "You know it's dangerous too?" "You can't fight and can't use magic." "You're just like a regular mortal" "Stay here and watch my back" "Watch that way." "Here come the white doves." "Aim!" "Fire!" "Spy!" "Calm down, calm down" "You are feeling very dirty...go take a shower...shower" "I thought you said no magic?" "This isn't magic." "It's hypnosis" "You are getting sleepy...sleepy..." "Fall asleep...fall asleep...sleep" "You wife is looking for you, go home" "You've talked an awful lot." "Thirsty?" "I'll get you some fresh juice" "We are under attack!" "Enemy boats are coming." "Archers ready..." "We are under attack!" "We are under attack!" "Fire!" "Fire, fire!" "Fire!" "Fire!" "Fire!" "Fire!" "This way!" "Fire!" "Cao is suspicious." "We don't know which ship he's on?" "Look" "He must be going to Cao" "Get dressed" "Sneak in as a Cao soldier!" "Love you!" "Yeah!" "Got the arrows!" "We got the arrows..." "General, we've stolen the arrows as you requested!" "Got the arrows!" "Great!" "It's time to fight back!" "General!" "We are against the wind!" "And it's too far for the archers!" "It's not a big deal!" "If we want favorable wind conditions" "Just borrow some east wind from the sky" "He can borrow the wind?" "A little bit, A little bit" "This just in." "Our troops are being overpowered by Cao's army." "Can you borrow the east wind to turn the situation?" "Y es!" "I'm looking to extend my line of credit." "Deal!" "Great!" "Ceremony is done!" "Have some fruit, guys" "Mr. Zhou" "What's wrong?" "Listen, don't take offence?" "Not at all." "Please" "I just realized you borrow and steal everything" "Now, you're borrowing the wind." "Right after you stole those arrows just now" "And they say you talked your lord into borrowing Jing T own!" "Hee..." "Hey!" "Where have you been?" "Fooling around?" "What fooling around?" "I was just playing cards!" "Are you mocking me?" "Have a banana!" "You dare mock me?" "Damn you!" "Don't be afraid." "It's all a show." "I'll keep the Prime Minister informed" "Come with me!" "Yes!" "Who?" "You!" "Come with me!" "Go!" "Why are you being so sneaky?" "I want to see you my lord" "I've been missing you since our last farewell" "And then I heard you were interested in this girl" "So I risked my life to bring her to you" "She is Xiao Qiao!" "It's her?" "It's not good for you to shake your head like that" "Great!" "T ake him out and give him a big reward!" "You understand?" "Yes!" "Go" "Thanks a lot prime minister" "Are you Xiao Qiao?" "Yes I am." "Are you the real Xiao Qiao?" "Look carefully, I'm Xiao Qiao" "Do what I say... do what I say..." "You are Xiao Qiao." "Of course I'll do everything you say" "Give me the box..." "Give me the box..." "What kind of fool do you take me for?" "You think I don't know anything about hypnosis?" "I knew what you were up to" "What?" "I stole it from The Fire Cloud Evil God" "Oh...no!" "General!" "The east wind is up!" "Everyone, fire!" "..." "Keep eating bananas!" "Eat banana..." "Eat banana" "Aim!" "Fire!" "Help..." "We are under attack!" "Help..." "Qing Yi Se..." "I'd never thought..." "A charming leader like myself, would ever fail here at red cliff!" "Under these circumstances, I will never cry for help" "If someone were to hear me, it would be a fate worse than death" "Wooh...wah...!" "Fire!" "Fire..." "Get some water!" "Qing Yi Se!" "Qing Yi Se!" "Rose!" "Rose!" "Qing Yi Se..." "Rose!" "Qing Yi Se..." "Rose!" "Rose!" "Jack!" "Rose!" "Jack!" "Rose!" "Jack!" "Rose!" "Jack!" "Rose!" "Rose!" "I found the box" "Fantastic!" "Help me get these off" "Where's the key?" "They left the key here, after they locked me up" "But I dropped it in the toilet by mistake" "Why the hell would I have the key?" "Don't yell at me!" "Ready" "Be careful, please!" "You...you... yes..." "I have the box, I can turn back time" "Bhagavati... bhagavati" "Jack!" "Jack!" "Jack..." "Jack!" "How did this happen?" "How?" "The lock is behind me." "But you swing your axe in front every time!" "You tell me!" "How did this happen?" "Ok." "Let's do it again" "Bhagavati... bhagavati" "Jack..." "Let's try this, every time you aim for the lock, you hit me" "So why don't you aim at me this time?" "You might hit the lock!" "Makes sense" "Ready?" "One, two..." "Wow!" "It worked!" "Come on!" "Let's get out of here" "T o find a quiet place" "T o build a home of our own" "Our lives will be perfect" "You jump, I jump!" "Close your eyes, you do the spell." "And we jump together" "Bhagavati... bhagavati" "Rid of you!" "Finally!" "Kong..." "Kong..." "Kong..." "Zi Yi!" "I love what you've done with your hair" "I'd like you no matter how you looked!" "Princess Iron Fan is coming!" "Bitch!" "Have you gone mad?" "You jerk!" "You thought you could lose me just by using the box?" "No way!" "See how I punish you dirty people!" "It's a mistake, Ma'am" "Actually I'm a man!" "Zhang Zi Yi" "Is a drag queen" "Somebody set me up!" "Help me..." "Bitch!" "Beat me if you like." "He is innocent!" "You are still helping this tramp even though you're dying?" "How dare you!" "Watch my banana!" "You've got serious balls!" "Help!" "...help!" "You tranny witch." "Have an affair with my husband, will you?" "Help..." "Don't hurt him" "Zi Yi!" "I will never give you up!" "I couldn't agree with you more at this time" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Ok..." "Wait here!" "You little brat!" "I'm not afraid of you!" "How dare you beat your own husband?" "Shazam!" "Don't fall off!" "Zi Yi, you don't want to leave me, do you?" "No!" "We're too high up." "I can't get off." "Don't leave me alone!" "I will turn this place into a volcano for the two of you to burn in!" "Get away!" "Get away...get away..." "Purple Cloud?" "Get away... get away..." "Don't be afraid, hold me tight" "Aren't you the sometimes green sometimes purple" "Sometimes sometime sorta peach colored cloud?" "Wrong!" "My real name is Kansas Sharapova" "AKA Twilight Sunset" "Though online I go by Purple Guacamole" "Anything simpler?" "Athena Chu" "Oh...shit!" "Qing Yi Se" "Listen to me..." "I didn't kick you on purpose..." "I'm off" "Why did you..." "Why did I save you?" "I was in the neighborhood, I saw you were in danger" "So I came to help!" "Don't be afraid!" "I won't cling to you" "Hmmm, I didn't mean..." "I know..." "I know" "But I pulled out the sword" "You mean this one?" "Someone else I met recently pulled the sword out too." "I'm going to have dinner with him" "If you get time, we could go together!" "Forget it!" "I got lots of things to do." "I can't..." "Forget it!" "Forget it!" "Whenever you are free" "See you next time" "Bye... see you" "Bye..." "See you next time" "Bye...bye...bye" "Bye..." "Bye!" "Got a problem?" "You asked for it!" "Stop!" "Grapse!" "What do you want?" "You dirty old men are really enjoying the show" "How come it's fine to talk to you?" "But I get a stutter talking to her?" "It's never happened before" "It's simple" "One word...fear!" "How do you spell it?" "Let me tell you, we both used to be thieves" "Y eah What's the one thing we never stole?" "Only a woman's heart" "Because we can't give it back" "Why not?" "How can we give it back if it's broken?" "Feel the fear?" "See?" "You see?" "T ears!" "So falls a man's last line of defense" "Tighten up your underwear" "Seems he's not wearing any" "Really?" "Ha ha... aren't you happy?" "So happy!" "Let me down please..." "Feeling something?" "Qing Yi Se!" "Qing Yi Se!" "The warrior is fighting with the lady on the ramparts again" "Why are they just standing there?" "Don't know." "It's been a while." "They know each other right?" "Not sure." "Shame on him" "Always clinging, none of the girls like him." "Yeah right!" "I'd kick him off if I was her." "What?" "You want to marry me?" "I've explained to you time and time again" "I was the one who pulled the sword out the other day" "I'm "The One" of you" "So let's pick a good date for wedding" "And I've told you a thousand times" "The sword is broken" "Well, then let me take it back to the factory for repairs" "And I'll pull it out again after it's fixed" "Actually...it's not about the sword" "It's me." "I don't believe in destiny anymore" "Just because you see the pork shop everyday in the market" "Does that mean your destiny is to be with pork?" "Or just that the pork shop" "Is the first one on the corner" "Understand?" "Piggy!" "Don't go!" "Every time I go to the market, you're the first one I see" "Isn't that destiny?" "Isn't that arranged by God?" "Get lost!" "Don't do this to me..." "Don't do this to me" "Give me a chance!" "Please!" "I don't know you" "Yeah!" "I know you are pretending" "You're ignoring my existence..." "Rose, do you have" "Any extra Purple Green Heavenly Swords back at your home?" "I'll... show you later!" "Enough!" "Stop annoying me!" "I don't want the sword anymore!" "There are things you can't simply throw away and be done with them." "Can you throw away your memories?" "Could you throw away your feelings?" "You are sick!" "Yes!" "I am sick!" "Incurably sick!" "Love is the most serious incurable disease!" "I am hopeless" "I fell in love with" "A woman I thought I wouldn't love" "It's too late" "T o say anything!" "Huh?" "I but didn't say anything yet!" "Well, since you didn't say anything before!" "Yes!" "It was my fault!" "I should've said what I said today long time ago" "Oh, wait, I'm bit confused..." "Are you talking to him or me?" "I don't wanna talk anymore." "Please leave me alone" "Eh, it was my fault..." "I'm just confused" "Your dialogue doesn't make any sense?" "Don't cry" "Say what's in your heart." "I'll accept you" "I was too selfish" "About everything" "Only thinking about myself, I thought that was the way things were done" "But the moment you left" "I realized that being together was the most important" "It's only true happiness when we treasure the moment together" "I look at you here today, and know I can't give you up" "I don't want to live in regret for the rest of my life" "I have an incurable disease and you have it too" "Come on!" "Let's infect each other" "Great!" "I don't want to live in regret" "Let's do it" "Who could resist kissing a face like that?" "Now you understand how much I love you" "T oday" "I come to return this heart to you" "I just put a mark on your tongue" "You are my mistress of the fort" "If anyone tries to harm you, just tell them you are with me" "Where'd everybody go?" "Rose's idea worked" "She tricked her man into professing his love" "I wish them eternal happiness" "Otherwise we will be end up playing the villains again" "It's true." "Anything bad happens." "We end up being the bad guys." "Shame on you, you old fool..." "Where'd they go?" "Feels good doesn't it?" "!" "The One!" "Every woman on Earth is under your spell..." "We fight to the death" "Attack!" "Stop!" "Sorry, I meant the rain, not you!" "Devil!" "How dare you make a fool of me!" "Die!" "Stop!" "Bastard!" "You think this hand is an easy target..." "Didn't you say The One is dangerous?" "That's what I heard!" "We could have gone easier on him." "I said I was going to throw." "I didn't tell you guys to do it..." "Ask before you attack next time, ok?" "Ya..."