"Take a step into the unknown and you will meet people who will change your attitude to the future." "Stargazers" "Virgo 23 August - 22 September" "That's not cleaning, Kjartan." "It's the exact opposite!" "Hardly touches anything, as I keep reminding her." "Urine stains over all the walls ...and stool stains in the toilet bowl." "You know full well what stool stains are, Kjartan." "Look, I have neither the time nor the staff, night after night, to clean up the dirt and mess left by the day-shift," "I've got a customer walk into my office because I'm stuck talking to you on the phone!" "Kjartan, stop being rude." "You know it does no good at all." "In fact, it always makes things worse for you in the end." "Hello?" "Oh, alright then..." "And what can I do for you?" "My name's Daniel." "I've come about the job." "Well, you're not exactly making things easy for yourself by applying for a job here!" "What?" "Take a seat, young man." "Do you have any first-hand experience of serving customers?" "Er..no..." "I mean yes." "I worked at the local supermarket one Christmas on the meat counter." "That probably wasn't a night shift job?" "No." "No and naturally, you can't compare that to handling fuel." "I mean, the ground beef wasn't inflammable, was it?" "No, no..." "No, and the meatballs didn't blow up in your face if you didn't handle them carefully, did they?" "No...no..." "What was your last job?" "I was at university." "Really?" "Ah, "eine student"!" "I have five university degrees, psychology, sociology, pedagogy, political science and educational studies from the University of Lund in Sweden." "Have you ever been to Sweden?" "No." "No?" "Marvellous country." "Give me three of your good qualities." "I'm...punctual...er..." "Don't strain yourself now." "Alright, name me three of your faults?" "Faults?" "I can be a bit distant sometimes." "I have been known to be negative and pessimistic." "And why should I hire you rather than someone else, eh?" "I've already been hired." "You what?" "I've already been hired." "I was hired by head office." "That's where I handed in my application." "I was told to turn up here tonight and start." "What does your watch say, Olafur?" "I...er..." "It's about eight, approximately." "Approximately?" "It is precisely eighteen minutes past." "Yes, well, I had to scrape the snow off the windscreen." "It hasn't been snowing!" "Yes, it snowed a bit where I live." "Everyone here is sick to the teeth of your adding an academic fifteen minutes to your clock-in time." "You'll realise soon enough that we will not put up with a lack of punctuality here." "Well, you see the car wouldn't start and..." "Then you should have walked!" "Your place is within easy walking distance of here." "It might help you to get yourself in reasonable shape instead of being round and chubby." "Samuel, this is Olafur." "...when he deigns turns up to work." "Olafur, Samuel." "It's Daniel." "I've taken him on here on trial." "We'll see how long he lasts." "Hi." "Hi, Daniel." "Olafur Ragnar." "Probably best that you take Gudjon's old locker." "This babe's cute, eh?" "Oh...yes...yes." "The real thing mate." "And this one here, babe in a dinghy." "Wind and salt in her face." "Do we need to talk about it?" "Right!" "How old are you?" "Twenty three." "Yes." "What's it like working here?" "Here?" "Yes." "Not rocket science, you know." "Not exactly difficult." "They've built this petrol station here, right?" "It's just a question of looking like you're keeping busy." "Georg is always keeping an eye on you, so that..." "Really?" "Isn't it just a matter of pumping petrol..." "I often feel like I'm a point on a sat nav." "Do we need to talk about it." "It's sort of a question of having a plan." "Let it look like you're doing something." "Walk around with a plastic can, a cloth, cleaning rags," "Just make sure you've always got something in your hand." "It doesn't matter what." "Then you'll always have a reason for what you're about to do." "Get it?" "Yes." "Yes." "I see..." "The staff meeting of the night shift at the Laugavegur petrol station is now in session." "And the first thing on the agenda is the new employee." "Here, the job is simply divided into two parts." "No more difficult than that." "Undoubtedly, easier than being on the meat counter." "To put it in very simple terms:" "one person on the forecourt and the other inside here in the shop." "Yes, but which one am I?" "Am I on the forecourt or..." "You are the trainee, as matters stand." "OK, do I start on the forecourt?" "No, no, no, not at all." "We don't want to scare the customers away, do we?" "Personnel on the forecourt sees to everything outside and is directly responsible to the shift manager." "Personnel in the shop oversees everything inside." "But now to the main item on the agenda the holiday fund!" "I expect many of us are eager to hear the latest figures." "We have a small slush fund here on the nightshift, and next spring we shall enjoy the fruits of our labours." "At eight o'clock this evening, the fund stands at a grand total of 57, 134 kroner." "Most of this money comes from the bottles and cans I have taken the trouble to collect and cash the returns on." "Yes, yes." "Yes, and in addition we jointly decided to put a 5% surcharge on anything we spend ourselves here and that goes into the pot." "I think it should be pointed out that most of this money comes out of my pocket." "Not entirely." "Aside from the 10-15 cans he picked up on the way into work." "Look,Olafur!" "These fines are a result of you not turning up on time for work, or for having to take time off in the middle of the night and thereby create extra work for the rest of us." "Gudjon complained about that a great deal." "No, he didn't." "He never complained!" "Not to you perhaps, but he did to me." "Gudjon was an old man and it was quite a burden to him." "It conceivably had some bearing on his untimely death." "It's really very simple." "The hose rests on this part." "Then we free it by pushing this up." "Then it's released." "Very simple indeed." "Then, of course, you have to be careful to put petrol in petrol vehicles and diesel in diesel vehicles and not vice versa." "Yes." "Yes, then release the fuel by pulling the handle up firmly." "See this latch here." "Eh?" "Look at it, boy!" "You fasten the latch here and it proceeds to release the fuel automatically." "Right, that's how it works." "And when you remove it, you pull it by this bit and shake it like this, just like when one's finished urinating, and lift it like this so as not to spill any on the paintwork." "This is not how we do it." "Olafur, clean this up!" "Yes, that makes three thousand, four hundred and..." "Smile!" "Smile!" "Yes...er...that's 3,432 kroner." "Just a second." "Excuse me, could I have your card back?" "Never return a card until you have the signature." "Hand her the receipt and ask for her signature." "Yes, I need you to sign this..." "Well done." "Then we compare the signatures and, if the one on the card is the same as the one on the receipt, we...?" "Yes, then it's..." "Ask her if she'd like to keep a copy of the receipt." "Would you like to...?" "No thank you!" "I'm in a hurry." "There you are..." "Tut, tut, tut!" "What do you say now?" "Oh yes, thank you for coming..." "No!" "Eh?" "No." "Was there anything else?" "Oh yes, was there anything else?" "No thank you!" "It would have been better to ask a little earlier but you'll learn..." "Let me have my card." "I told you I'm in a hurry." "Yes, take your time and you will observe many things," "as Lao Tse, philosopher and poet, put it." "And those words are as true today as they were near on 5,000 years ago." "It's fine to chat to the customers sometimes." "They like it." "Yes..." "Show a little zest." "Yes, hand her back her card." "Good night to you and walk slowly through the door of joy!" "Well!" "That is how one serves a customer." "You'll pick it up in no time." "Personnel on forecourt!" "Just fill it up please." "Daniel!" "?" "Daniel!" "?" "Hello, it's me, Frikki." "Er...yes." "From medical school, remember?" "Hi, wow, what happened to you, man?" "I mean, you just disappeared." "Er...yes." "I've been away." "OK." "Didn't you take the exams?" "No, something came up." "Hey, are you working here?" "No, no, no..." "What are you doing in that Shell outfit?" "Ahh..." "I just thought it was cool." "Hey, I need to get going." "Nice to see you." "Hey!" "Is everything alright?" "Eh?" "Yes." "What?" "Yes, fine." "What, did the governor lose his rag?" "No, no." "Hey, remember the babe I showed you in the locker earlier?" "Yes, in the Seen and Heard magazine...yes." "Come with me." "I want to show you something." "This is massive." "Hi." "Hi." "Hey." "I wanted to introduce you to the new guy." "Daniel." "Ylfa." "Are you Gudjon's replacement or...?" "Yes, I...er...expect so." "It was me who found him." "He was sort of lying there all crumpled by the car wash." "With a shovel." "Eh?" "Yes, he had a heart attack, you know." "Yes, I see." "Personnel on the forecourt." "Personnel on the forecourt!" "Yes!" "What are you doing?" "I'm here outside, keeping an eye on...round the back." "Were you asleep, you little creep?" "Good evening." "Just a moment." "Personnel on the forecourt?" "Yes?" "Where's the runt?" "I'm showing him how to do something." "You are showing him how to do something?" "What the hell..." "Tell him to get in here, pronto." "Yes, I er..." "I made this folder so that I wouldn't have to stand over you the whole time." "If any questions arise, you should be able to find the answers here." "Should I do what I see in the photos?" "Exactly right!" "Gudjon and I put a lot of work into this at the time." "OK, show me how you do it." "Eh?" "Show me how you do the floors, boy." "No, no, no...not like that." "You're just making the germs wet by giving them water." "Here you are!" "Come on, have a little drink and fatten yourselves up." "Then you'll be nice and plump." "When we clean the floors we do it like this." "We begin by mopping away from the body with short equal movements." "Then towards the body..." "like this." "Can I see you do it." "That's it!" "It's a movement of the hips." "Keep your hips flexible, that's it, yes." "Good." "Relax." "Soft swaying movements." "Good, yes." "Personnel on the forecourt!" "Water!" "Hey?" "Someone's turned the water off outside." "Excuse me." "Hey someone's turned off the water supply outside." "I'm in the middle of washing my car." "Yes, I'm sorry." "It's always turned off at exactly twelve o'clock." "Yes...but couldn't I just finish off cleaning the car?" "I'm only halfway through." "Not here." "Sorry." "Hey, mate, would you mind just turning it on again..." "It's not up to him to decide." "You're very welcome to come back tomorrow." "We'll be turning the water on again at 8:00 tomorrow morning." "Well, this is the last time I bring my custom to this place." "And that's a promise!" "Well, that's a matter between you and your own conscience." "If you lean forward, bend your knees." "If you lean over here, and look at the toilet in the right light, you should be able to see the urine stains there." "Here's a picture of Gudjon that shows you how it's done." "Now, we have to use the same lavatory as the customers." "So we try to keep this kind of thing to an absolute minimum." "Look, the main thing is to roll up the hose and squeeze all the water out so the whole stuff doesn't freeze up." "But the temperature is well above zero." "I know that...it's just the governor, you see." "Yes, OK." "Got a girlfriend?" "Yes..." "Been with her for long?" "About a year and a half or so." "Really?" "What's she like?" "She's really nice." "I had a girlfriend once." "Yeah." "She was always getting me to do all kinds of things" "I didn't want to do." "Ah..." "Is that what yours is like?" "No...she's just ordinary." "Ordinary?" "What do you mean?" "You know, there's nothing odd about her or anything like that..." "Are you saying that mine was strange?" "No, not at all." "That is not what I was saying." "What did you mean then?" "Nothing, just that my girlfriend isn't..." "I was just saying that she wasn't..." "Take it easy, man." "I was only joking." "I thought you were going to take all night doing this." "Excuse me, can I help you, my friend?" "Yes, can I use the toilet?" "Sorry, the lavatory is for customers only." "Not for just anyone who happens to be passing by." "Yes, but I'm bursting." "Either I take a leak outside or I use the toilet." "Sorry, that's the rules." "Nothing I can do about them." "What utter nonsense!" "Hey, you!" "Come back here immediately." "Didn't you hear what I said!" "Will you come out of there right away?" "This lavatory is reserved for customers." "If you do not come out voluntarily," "I shall be forced to open the door and come in." "You are breaking the petrol station regulations!" "Personnel on the forecourt!" "Closed door!" "Personnel on the forecourt!" "Oh, I suppose we'd better go inside." "Where the hell are you, Olafur!" "Where the hell have you been?" "Hey, take a deep breath." "We were just rolling up the hose like you told us to..." "I've been calling you repeatedly." "Is your walkie-talkie turned on?" "No, I didn't hear anything through this." "Some lunatic just burst in here and barged into the lavatory!" "Yes, isn't he just having a piss or something?" "I haven't got a damned clue." "He could be giving himself a fix for all I know!" "We're coming in now!" "Gotcha!" "Good evening." "What are you doing?" "Just a second, but that's a woman!" "Yes, as I said, don't worry." "I can assure you I will deal with this very seriously." "I was outside..." "Hey, I've put the new windscreen wipers on." "Yes, excellent..." "I want to offer my sincere apologies once more for the mistake made by my staff and I will certainly be having a few choice words with them." "Hey, right!" "I was trying to tell you..." "Olafur!" "You have said quite enough, quite enough!" "Yes, and you don't need to pay for the windscreen wipers." "I hope we will see you back again as soon as possible and that you will continue to avail yourself of our services." "Georg, Georg!" "I didn't hear anything on the walkie-talkie!" "No!" "But you will hear me from now on, Olafur!" "I'm putting the wipers on your tab, and adding a 5% surcharge!" "Hey, 3,000 kroner on number 1." "Yes..." "Would you like the receipt?" "No thanks." "I don't believe this!" "Hold on there mate!" "Just a second." "Give me those keys!" "Eh?" "Why?" "You are not sitting behind the wheel in that condition." "Give me the car keys!" "My...no...you're... you don't understand." "No!" "It's not me who doesn't understand." "Yes!" "You are making a mis..." "Olafur!" "Come and restrain this drug addict while I call the police." "No, you don't understand!" "Yes, could you put me through to the police." "Yes, good evening." "Georg Bjarn... yes, hello." "We have just apprehended a man who drove here drunk." "And he is conceivably under the influence kind of drug, too, from the look of him." "Yes, he just came in here and bought some petrol." "What's going on here?" "What's going on?" "!" "You're a bloody fool serving a man who's dead drunk!" "He's not drunk." "Oh, isn't he?" "What is he then?" "He's...he's disabled!" "I'm disabled!" "He's disabled!" "Hold on a second." "What did you say?" "The man is not drunk." "He's...he's recovering from a stroke!" "He's paralysed down one side!" "I'm paralysed!" "Yes, alright, I'll call you back love." "Yes... er...quite a lot to..." "er..." "I have to do a report on this night's shift." "What's the hell's the matter with you!"