"The thing is, nobody...is prepared to die." "But what we've done is to go through that possibility of dying through what you're doing." "And we have accepted that as a fact." "And that's not normal!" "Right now we're at Exit 5." "And Exit 5, it has a few ledges." "That means the wall kind of goes out a little bit." "They look a little big from here." "It's a little intimidating just looking down at them." "And you're like, "Whoa!" "Am I going to be able to jump over that?" But it's really no problem at all." "It's very important to have the jacket inside the pants." "Because it doesn't create any drag and if you have it outside   yourjacket might actually wrap around the pilot." "And then I have no pilot to pull and no canopy." "We wouldn't want that to happen." "BASE-jumping kills people very quick." "It's one of the few sports in the world where you make mistakes, you get killed   (snaps fingers) like that." "Some people make it into a religious thing." "And an extremely spiritual thing." "They almost go around preaching about it and tell people that   if you are not that crazy, if you don't live life to the edge, then you don't live." "And I had so many people telling me this," ""Oh, your life is so boring and you don't live until you try to die."" "And I think all this is a sack of bullshit!" "And it really provokes me." "But I respect the way Karina does it." "I respect her choice for doing it." "Because she does it in a much more   intellectual way." "She's honest about it." "She says, "lt drives me and I get a kick of it and I love the feeling." "That's why I do it." "And I'm really good at it."" "Once you can learn to control the fear of death, and like big things, like being crushed and injured, all of a sudden the little mundane fears everyone goes through everyday of their lives   just seem so mundane and small." "And they're nothing to deal with." "I was born in Oslo, grew up, lived here all my life." "Maybe a couple of years here and there but I always come back to Oslo, because this is where l have my friends and this is where l have my family most of all." "I think I've always considered myself a city girl." "But then again, I can only handle the city probably for 2 or 3 days at a time or maybe even a week." "I probably have more than 300 travel nights a year." "So maybe I spend altogether 2 months here in my apartment." "Yes, it has its good sides and its bad sides, like every other thing." "But you gotta be prepared to be alone a lot and to travel alone, and maybe when you wanna have your friends there the most, they're not gonna be there, because you're at the other side of the world." "For me it's important to stay close to the friends that are not skiers and are not BASE-jumpers, 'cause I'd like to talk about something else than BASE-jumping when I come back home." "Talk about real stuff, talk about real things." "She's a really warm person and she really takes care of the persons close to her   like her friends and especially her family." "She's my closest friend and I've known her since I was 7." "But we don't share our professional lives." "She's the one girl that probably knows the least about my BASE-jumping or skiing." "She doesn't have a clue about this industry and that's good, you know?" "I hate that she's doing the BASE-jumping." "I hate that she's away all the time, but she's doing what she wants to do." "So I'm happy when she's here." "Tonja is one of my roommates l used to live with and she has always hated it." "For her it's just terrible." "She still decided she wants to continue being my friend." "She doesn't want to run away just because I've decided to do this." "You don't wanna be different." "And when I come back here to Oslo, sometimes I'm thinking," ""Will I ever be able to come back to this kind of life?" "Will I ever be capable ofjust smoothly slipping into this kind of lifestyle?" "Or is my life never gonna be like this?"" "People around me, my group of friends that are not that close to Karina, they always thought Karina was so arrogant." "But that's her facade." "She looks so tough and she looks like she's always in control, but   sometimes she's not." "But she doesn't want to show it to people." "Her projection of what she is, is super positive, super friendly, super nice." "But she's got darkness in her, you know we all do." "And there's not a person on this planet who doesn't have darkness." "For a person to have the desire to put their life in that kind of risk for whatever reason it is, it takes a very special way of thinking. lt takes a very special kind of person to wanna do that." "If this is something I have to do, then I have to do this." "It's actually not really that hard." "As long as everything goes right, it's actually..." "physically, it's not a difficult thing to do." "What is hard about BASE-jumping   is psychological. it's very horrifying, it's very scary and for a lot of people   it's very difficult to work through the sheer terror of what it is." "There's one very simple thing." "You jump off a cliff." "You've got a pilot-chute, you do something simple." "You reach back, grab that pilot-chute and throw it." "And that's really weird because a lot of people are like, "Oh, that's no big deal, I reach back and grab it." Well I've watched 4 people die because they didn't do that!" "They weren't listening to their fear." "They weren't listening to what was going on." "All they did was shut off!" "Well that's not the way Karina's brain works." "When the fear turns on, it makes her operate better." "This kind of fear, it helps you, you know?" "You're afraid of dying." "You don't want to die." "Right now we're in a small village called Lysebotn and it's about a 2 hour drive from Stavanger." "It's the western part of Norway." "When you reach the end of the fjord, you end up in Lysebotn." "And we got the Kjerag cliffs behind us and that's kind of the final point of the Lysefjord." "I had about 100 BASE-jumps I think when I came here the first time." "It is amazing, even for a Norwegian." "What makes it easy for us to BASE-jump here is that the Stavanger BASE-club has a bus." "They take the bus, drive you to the top of the mountain, we hike out and jump down and they have a boat there, ready to pick us up and they drive us back with the boat." "So it's like a little drop-zone." "You're never on your own here." "But that's kind of a good thing about it too." "For me, I'm a social person." "I like to watch other people jump." "I like the community, I like the atmosphere." "It's good. lt's a playground for us." "I don't know of any other organization or club that's run the way we are." "Well, the BASE-club makes sure that the mountain stays open." "So we have a system that people come and register with us." "They leave personal information, who to contact if something goes wrong while they're here." "And we also make sure that people don'tjump when conditions are questionable and   provide transport up and down." "When we started to jump in Kjerag in '94, I believe I was the first one who jumped there." "We did like 4 jumps in '94, but in '95 it increased to like 400 jumps." "This rumor was spread like fire in dry grass." "It was pfff..." "And a lot ofjumpers arrived to Kjerag and it started to get wild." "So we had to somehow try to control this." "The requirement to jump here at Kjerag is to have a minimum of 250 skydives." "You only need a little bit of a track to clear it, but you do need to track!" "If you look straight up from the wall, basically from where we exit, there's a dry river bed." "A lot of scary jumping was going on but today it's kind of... they know how to do the exit before they actually go on to the cliff and do the first real jump." "By doing that we managed to reduce the accidents a lot." "I'm sure if we had that from the beginning, we probably would have saved at least 3 lives." "I would say Kjerag is one of the safest places you can jump off." "What makes this place so safe is that you got about a 1000 meter cliff   and the longer we're in freefall, the further away from the wall we get." "We use our body to fly and then when we open the parachute   we have a long distance from the wall." "If we have a 180 and the canopy opens facing the wall, we have a lot of time to correct it." "But you know, there is no such thing as a super safe cliff." "I think I was born with full on birth control." "I mean, my dad was busy playing." "He's like me." "He didn't really see how a daughter would fit into this kind of life." "But then, when I got a little older, he figured that he could bring the daughter." "And then, I guess, he was happy with the situation." "In 1980 my mom and dad had split up but they decided to go on a summer vacation with me." "I guess this vacation changed all our lives." "Forever." "We were driving back home and this car suddenly came across on the other side." "The front, on the right side, was totally crashed and   that's where Karina's mother was sitting." "And she got the whole thing." "She was in a coma for a month and   she never really recovered from that." "That happened when she was 4." "So then her mother always stayed in homes, in nursing homes or whatever." "My mom had been in a coma for a long time." "When she finally woke up when she was in the hospital, she didn't recognize me." "And for sure when you're 4 years old   you don't understand how your mom cannot recognize you, because you do." "She still doesn't have any memory, she doesn't have any short term memory, so she has all these notes, Post-it notes everywhere." "I don't remember 10 years before the accident. lt's all gone." "Are you afraid that I'm gonna end up in the same situation as you?" "Luckily I haven't thought about it." "I think one in the family is enough." "Yeah, I think so too." "She jumps." "That's the only thing I know." " Do you like that?" "I have to!" "I must!" "I don't like it." "But I have done many things in my life that my mother didn't like." "Growing up with a mom that is brain injured, it's different, 'cause you're now the person to take care of your mom, and it's not your mom taking care of you anymore." "She was great." "She did as good as she could, but I was always the one checking if the stove was off." "Checking if she was OK when she went to bed." "I was always nervous because I didn't want to lose my mom. I had lost her already once." "I was afraid if she didn't function as a real mom, if somebody knew that, what was going on, then they would take her away from me." "Her family history has been kind of tough for Karina." "But she's always handled it delicately, if you can say it like that." "No one else around her knew that she had a tough childhood." "No one else knew, because she never asked for support from anyone." "She's not the kind of person that spills out all her sorrows and cries on peoples' shoulders." "She's always managed on her own." "She's that classic person who likes to help everyone else   but doesn't want anybody to help her." "That's a nice ability but it's sometimes hard to be a friend   to someone who doesn't want to be helped." "As a child, she was restless." "Always with a lot of energy in her body." "We played football together." "Karina was the big star, I was the big defender." "She was a tough girl, always challenging the boys to do tougher things." "She's good at school, but she's not very interested." "Her main interest was always being out playing, playing soccer or maybe skiing." "Her father was really strict." "I was really scared of him." "There were many rules and it was not easy to avoid breaking them and   so she got into a lot of fights with him." "Because I had not been nice he told me, "You cannot go to the mountains with us."" "And I asked him, "Where am I gonna celebrate Christmas?" He said, "l don't know, I don't care."" "And I was probably 15 at that time." "So my mom gave me a Christmas present to go to the mountains." "And I met my dad in the mountains." "After the Christmas vacation was over, I came back home   of course to my dad's place." "I wake up in the morning ready to go to school   and there's a yellow Post-it note on my bag." "It says:" "This is no longer your home!" "Björn." "And I was like, "OK!" "Those are pretty clear words."" "She's got a mind of her own, so she doesn't listen very well all the time." "And I didn't have contact with my dad for 3 or 4 years...at all." "I think all this turbulence that was with my dad when I was younger, it has actually helped us create an even stronger relationship today." "Because we're the same;" "but now we no longer have to fight about it." "I loved skiing." "Skiing was my life." "I spent every minute that I could skiing." "I run away from school skiing." "I came back to the exams with goggle tan." "I dedicated every spare minute that I had to go skiing." "She was always hanging out with the boys, because she was so good at skiing." "The other girls...we weren't that good, so she needed to go skiing with the guys." "So she really had a few girl friends and a lot of guy friends." "I studied computer science for 3 years, computer programming and   I actually worked as a computer programmer, a database programmer, for about 4 months." "She was really happy when that autumn ended and she could go skiing again." "She's an outdoor girl." "Definitely!" "I think it was about 10 years ago when I actually saw   BASE-jumping for the first time." "And immediately when I saw this, I was like, "You know that's my thing!" "That's what I want to do." "Exactly that!"" "We were thinking about what we should give for her 25th birthday." "Lots of people get that as a present, they just do it, then do something else." "Go back to work." "And she got this present for a tandem jump." "What I did was to trade the tandem into the course, into the skydiving course." "And I said, "Well maybe you should wait a little bit, get a little bit more experience in   parachuting before you start." But that did not sink in at all." "I met Jeb Corliss in South Africa." "He's a professional BASE-jumper, so he BASE-jumps for a living." "We talked about BASE-jumping and I think he immediately realized that it was a big dream." "Even though she hadn't done a BASE-jump yet, like a physical jump off   a building, her mind already worked in that way." "I was ready!" "There was no doubt in my mind that I was ready to start BASE-jumping." "I said, "So give me your log book." "You need your log book to go to the drop-zone, so we can go do some skydiving." She kinda gets this funny look on her face." "She's like... I'm like, "You have your log book, right?" "I mean, without that we can't go skydiving."" "She's like, "Well yeah, I got my log book." "OK, well give it to me!"" "So she hands it to me and I open it up and I'm like... I think they're saying, you should have 250 skydives to get into BASE-jumping, which is definitely advisable." "But I had 25." "And she just looks at me and she's just like, "Here I am!"" "And I'm just like, "Alright dude!" "Well we're going to the drop-zone and we're gonna do some skydiving." "And realistically, I don't know how comfortable I feel about taking you BASE-jumping right now."" "So we went to the drop-zone and I think we did like 4 skydives or 3 skydives and   he wanted to see me in the air and see how I was dealing with the situation of freefalling." "It was incredible 'cause she had no fear. I mean, she just...she was a better skydiver than I was." "And we did a couple of skydives and he's like, "You're fine, let's go!"" "And that's how it started, and I mean...to this point, I never met a person more motivated." "I mean, she wanted to BASE-jump!" "OK, I'm looking forward. lt's gonna be fun." "We're going to do her first BASE-jump, with a round parachute into the water." "It's just to give a person the sensation of what it feels like to do a BASE-jump." "So Karina, how do you feel?" "Right now I feel great!" "I'm going down there!" "Basically a person's eyes, really are kind of a window into what's happening inside their mind." "And you can see inside a person's face and inside their eyes when horror is overpowering them, taking over their brain." "And looking into her eyes, I'm trying to see any kind of fear whatsoever   and there was nothing." "She was just like, "Well, I'm ready!"" "I remember climbing over the steel and rail, and of course as I stood there, it felt uncomfortable." "You're just about to jump off a 470 feet bridge." "And it feels a little unnatural to just let go." "But on the other hand I was like, "Alright, this is what I wanna do. I'm ready for this."" "Alright. 3,2,1 , see ya!" "She went off, frickin perfect, landed in the water, got up, ready to do another one." "She and I then spent the next year of our lives traveling the world BASE-jumping together." "I tried to take her through the course and train her the best I possibly could." "Yeah, there's a big difference between the way she thinks of fear and the way I think about it." "To me, it's terrifying and I don't like the feeling." "But to her   she loves it. I think she loves the feeling of conquering the fear   and mastering it and being in control of it." "If you're not scared of anything, that's because you're crazy." "You are scared of something, you just don't like to talk about it, but the reality is, people like us   have learned to control fear and not allow the fear to control us." "When I first started teaching her, I remember telling her the rules of BASE-jumping, the facts:" "If you get into BASE-jumping, you're gonna get injured, you're gonna break bones." "That's a fact." "There's no way around it, it's gonna happen." "You jump long enough, you will break bones." "You're in this sport long enough, you're gonna watch people die." "That's a reality!" "Deal with that right now or don't get into this sport." "And those people, guess what?" "They're most likely gonna be your very good friends." "That is a reality." "If you can't deal with that, don't get into BASE-jumping." "And then third, it's kind of a pointless thing to talk about, but you're gonna die too." "That's a reality." "Do this long enough, it's gonna kill you." "The first 2 seconds, it's magic." "Everything around you is quiet, it's just beautiful." "You're just letting yourself go and that feeling, I wanna do that again and again and again." "When you start wingsuit flying, you start off the airplane." "Right now I've started it and I've gone through a couple ofjumps." "But there is only... I think there are 2 girls in the whole world that have taken the wingsuit off the cliff." "There used to be 3, but this last girl, she didn't make it through." "I know I can do this and I will never do a jump that I am uncertain if I'm capable of doing." "Now it's more about doing fun stuff in the air and I'm able to play more." "For me, now I've jumped off the cliff. I feel like I've done it so many times and I want to move further." "I want to do different stuff. I'm not happy anymore justjumping flat and stable off the cliff." "You're no longer satisfied by the safe BASE-jumps or that kind of BASE-jump." "To achieve the same kind of feeling, the same kind of emotions about it, you have to push." "You have to go further." "Géraldine, Sébastien and I, we went to Mali to fulfill our dream of   climbing up the Hand of Fatima and flying the wingsuit off it." "Looking back at it now, I know we made a lot of decisions that we could have done differently." "The risk level on this jump is definitely much higher   than any otherjump that we'd done back home in Europe." "I felt the wind and I gave in because I was scared." "The first seconds of my flight, I knew I was gonna die." "I was afraid of hitting the wall in freefall because the wind was taking me back in towards the wall." "So I was fighting against it, trying to fly away from the wall and   I managed to turn the wingsuit and fly away but at the time I could not fly anymore." "I had lost the momentum of flying." "And I ended up deciding to open low." "I was furious at myself for making a mistake like that. I was angry, frustrated." "But at the same time, really happy that I could walk away from there." "And that's how I look back at it today." "Being able to walk away from a big mistake like that, it doesn't happen very often." "It's scary. I have too much time to think." "I can totally analyze myself and I can see   that my BASE-jumping and skiing and the way that I've been spending my life   that's my runaway, that's my escape." "Because I don't live the real life right now." "I'm living in this dream world." "That's what I've been doing and I'm terribly good at running away." "When you start BASE-jumping you've got 2 jars." "one jar is your luck jar and one jar is your experience jar." "When you start, your luck jar is full and your experience jar is empty." "And every single jump you do, you take one little piece out of your luck jar and   put it into your experience jar." "Eventually you run out of luck." "And all you have to keep you alive, is your experience." "I've always known that the Dolomites has a huge beautiful kind of redish-looking mountains   and I've always wanted to go to the Dolomites." "I went to Corvara to go Ski-BASEing with my friend Seb Collomb-Gros." "I remember the lastjump we did last year." "He hit the cliff." "He had a perfect front-flip and he got a 180 and he hit the cliff twice." "And he wasn't injured." "He was fine." "He was bruised up but luckily he wasn't injured." "But it scared him a lot and I understand that because his flip was perfect." "His body position was perfect and still he had a 180 and hit the cliff." "I'm so flattered. lt's just to make me jump off the cliff first." "He's trying to buy me." "Before this jump, I think I had about 25 Ski-BASEs." "I think what makes Ski-BASEing so scary is that the exit is so crucial, it has to be perfect." "Your body position has to be perfect, otherwise the wind is gonna catch your skis   and push you into an involuntary back-flip or front-flip or something like that." "We're so close to the wall, if any malfunction happens, it's gonna throw you into the wall right away." "And having the heavy skis on your feet   kind of increases every little movement you make wrong. ltjust makes it worse." "It is a scary cliff. lt's intimidating." "And of course, the hike out there, the traverse out there, doesn't really make it better." "We scratch around up there on the super steep talus and roped in and harnesses and   it's just an ice layer underneath the snow." "You don't have a good snow patch to stand on either." "So, it's pretty sketchy out there, there's no doubt." "it doesn't make it feel any safer." "If something goes wrong, it really goes wrong." "I'm just shaking!" "It's so good." "My first front-flip..." "Ski-BASE...ever!" "When you first get up there it's super intimidating." "It's so high...just..." "and the ledge is really steep   when you're standing on top of it and... (Seb laughs)" "Where is the end?" "I don't know." "That's what I'm asking myself a couple times too." "Where is the end?" "is the end when I hit the ground?" "That could be the end." "Or is the end...am I gonna stop?" "I doubt it." "I doubt that will be the end for me." "Maybe I won't have this urge anymore. I don't know." "I think for a lot of people, the end to this question is...is 10 feet under the earth." "But I'm not..." "I don't wanna end up there." "That's not the end to my question." "The average life-span of a BASE-jumper is about 6 years." "That's the average life-span." "And in that 6 years, a person either gets scared and stops, gets injured and has to stop or...pretty much dies." "Well I think her father is..." "he's always been like this, too." "He has supported her choices." "I think now, maybe that he's growing older, maybe he thinks more about the risk and is more scared about losing his only daughter." "In the beginning I think I was worried sick about it." "And I phoned her every now and then just to   keep track of her and know how she was." "And I said," ""There's one thing that I'm demanding of you." "And that is   when you jump, you give me a call afterwards."" "Of course I worry. I worry a lot." "But I don't wanna tell her that much that I worry." "I don't wanna put that weight on her shoulders." "She doesn't like to talk about the dark aspects of what she does." "But I know that she knows them." "There's no question she... I mean, she's injured herself." "She knows that." "She knows it can kill people." "She has watched people die." "Let's put it this way, with those statements I made, she's experienced 2 of them:" "she's been injured and she'ss watched people die." "She hasn't been in BASE-jumping that long. lt happened very quick." "It's so harsh that you kind of have to distance yourself from it a little bit." "But then, you kinda get down days or days you just sit back and you're like," ""What the fuck am I doing?" "This is absurd..." "It's insane."" "And sometimes it is." "You feel like what you're doing is insane." "You're watching your best buddies die and...you question it. ls it worth it?" "Of course I love my daughter and that's...the reason why I would love to... like I've said to her, "There's no way I'm gonna let you go before I go." "That's..." "I've seen that and it's not allowed."" "And she's...uhh...she's..." "There is a lot of statistics against her, you know." "And so...that's not a good reading." "And we would like to keep the family together a little bit longer." "I am doing my best." " Yeah, well...so..." "We will never be happy about something that's safe." "So a jump, that maybe 100 jumps ago   was considered to be a safe jump, we now manage to make this safe jump   unsafe, by flying further or closer to the wall." "So we're no longer flying away from the wall, we're flying right next to it." "is it a little lower?" " lt's a little lower." "It's not much though." "Maybe the other one is 290 meters and this is 270 meters." "What do you think?" " Yeah sure, right there." "Are we flying to the white thing?" "Like we don't really fly, we don't make the turn in towards 5 and then a new turn like this, we just fly straight." " Straight out that way." "And then make the turn out." " Right." "So, it increases danger, obviously, if you step off a cliff and then turn back towards it   and fly along next to it." "You're making things that are going very, very fast   and you're becoming very, very close to a structure that, if you make contact with it at that speed, will obviously kill you." "The thing is, flying like this compared to flying out of the wall, it gives you a way bigger kick." "It's just that fresh memory that you have and it tricks you, you know?" "My exit was nothing as bad as that." "My exit probably would've worked." "It's just...at 8..." "I just wanna have a nice one." "We are 3 jumpers at Exit 4." "I hope that 10 years from now I will have a husband or a boyfriend and   hopefully have a kid or 2 as well." "For me, the only thing that could stop me right now...is probably ... paraplegic, being paralyzed." "Not being able to jump off the cliff." "It's probably what would stop me." "And then on the second level, it would be   like I said before, having a family of my own, responsibility." "I think the risk of being killed is something she can accept." "I don't think she can accept the risk of being crippled." "Because a life being crippled isn't the life for her." "Because she's so addicted to having a functional body." "Fuck statistics!" "I can over live the statistics." "And I have probably already." "By my number of BASE-jumps, I'm probably on the bad side of the statistics already." "I need to do this." "Because if I don't do it, I'm not a happy person." "I'm not a complete person." "If I were to do this over again, I would probably have done the exact same thing   and everything would have worked out perfect." "It wasn't my fault and luckily, I got nobody to blame for it." "The last thought that I had was:" "I'm going in!" "Actually, I thought:" "I fucked up." "The paramedics were there immediately because this was an event." "That pretty much saved me, because throughout the time, within the 1 hour   it took me to get to the hospital, I had already lost 3 liters of blood." "My knee pretty much came out of my open fracture." "But that was it." "All my injuries were from here to here." "Don't ask me how that is possible after an impact like that." "Probably 2 weeks later, a doctor that I'd never seen before came by and he said," ""We weren't sure if you'd make it out of that surgery with your 2 legs."" "I came down to Lausanne a couple of days after the injury." "From there on there's been an endless story of operations and re-operations." "And...a lot of pain, of course." "I woke up from one of the surgeries and a doctor came to me and he told me, "Karina, we've done a lot of surgeries on you now and you have a severe injury in your right leg   and you're probably not gonna be able to walk again."" "At that moment, I realized that this is really an accident that's gonna... it's gonna affect me for the rest of my life." "I've been trying to coach her all the time, to train and to eat and just to relax   and be well." "And then she says to me, "What am I gonna train for?"" "I said, "You are gonna train for getting better so you can stand another operation." "That's yourjob at the moment." "That's what you have to do." "It's nothing much to look forward to obviously, but that's the way it is."" "My body does not want to go back to the hospital again." "The surgery that we're gonna do is that we're gonna put back   the 1 1 centimeters of bone that are missing in my femur." "And from then on, it's kind of up to me and up to my body to work with me and cooperate." "I can't say that I won't BASE-jump again because I'm not in a position where l can   answer that question right now." "But all I know is that right now, I'm scared." "Because I don't know if my number will be up again." "'Cause I can do everything right and it still will go wrong." "And you know..." "I..." "I love this life too much to die." "It makes you wonder, is it really that important to jump off a cliff and get   20 seconds ofjoy?" "And I know I've said yes every time somebody has asked me before." "Maybe I'll say yes again, but...right now all that matters to me is the people... the people that I have around me." "Because..." "I've seen how much..." "how much they give   and how much...how much I hurt them." "And I don't know if I wanna be that selfish again." "OK, now most important, the lateral view of this right femur   to judge upon the bone formation." "It does not look so bad." "OK, that's good." "It comes from above." "This is very good here." "It looks good!" " ls it possible for me to come back to sports?" "No?" "You know, this bone will not be as stable as the left." "And even the left might break." "I'm sorry, but I don't want to..." "Give me false expectations." " Yes." "The feeling that I got yesterday and the feeling that I probably still have today, I know it's a very selfish feeling and I know it's a very destructive feeling   and I know it's going to go away. I know for sure." "I'm so much more than skiing and BASE-jumping and there's so much more I can do." "And maybe this was the time to figure out something else to do anyways." "And maybe it happened a year or 2 earlier than I wanted to, but   it's not the end of the world, you know." "The thing is, if I look back at these past 5 years or   however long it's been with my BASE-jumping, I don't regret any second." "I look back at the pictures and it makes me happy, it makes me smile." "Got up at 3:30 this morning and started hiking in the dark." "It's a little tricky to see in the dark but it's a good thing we've been here before." "And now it feels worth it for sure." "Luckily your body has a capability of forgetting it." "You can remember you had a lot of physical pain, but you don't remember how bad the pain actually was." "When you're laying for 12 hours straight in agony, screaming   because they can't take the pain away from you." "And...now, it's like it's almost gone."