"You shouldn't have." "I'm sorry." "I startled you." "Oh no, not at all." "You're just early." "Oh, annoying habit." "I apologize for that." "It's fine." "Let me just put these..." "Please come in." "So do I look familiar?" "I..." "I mean, I don't go to the movies that often." "Oh, no no, I meant do I look like my sister?" "Well, it's been what, 18 years now" "Since Patricia's been my patient?" "Oh, of course." "Why would you remember, right?" "But yes, I do." "I see the family resemblance." "Well, Tricia looks more like our father" "And I look like mother, or so people say." "Look, I didn't even know if you'd agree to see me." "I don't know the rules." "Well, if enough time has passed, it's..." "Well, as you said, 18 years." "And there's no chance that Patricia will be my patient again." "That's not..." "that's not a problem." "Then as long as she is comfortable with it..." "Yeah, it's fine." "Not that I need to get her permission." "'cause I'm the big sister." "Well, you may not need to ask her permission," "But... but I do." "No, of course, yeah." "Did you..." "did you tell her" "That you'd made an appointment with me?" "She speaks very highly of you." "Oh, she does?" "Yeah." "When you called you said that you'd been having" "Some trouble with remembering your lines," "Some memory problems." "Wait, I called?" "Yeah, I'm back onstage." "It's been years." ""night of the iguana." do you know it?" "Yeah, I've seen the ads all over town." "Stars" "And, well, former stars, I suppose." "Is that how you perceive yourself..." "As a former star?" "Well, is that how you see me?" "I'm sorry." "I haven't been here five minutes" "And already I'm a parody of myself." "How so?" "Oh, you know, the archetypal actress..." ""enough about me." "What do you think about me?"" "This is therapy." "It's supposed to be about you." "So have you been in therapy before?" "Well, I did est back in the day," "And later lifespring." "You remember all that?" "Hey, it blew my mind at the time." "It kind of seems silly now, I guess." "Let's see." "What else?" "Oh, later I 12-stepped it for a while" "But that was mostly because my friends were doing it." "I never got past the first step." "I had trouble with that whole higher-power thing." "What else?" "Oh, I was on a film once in Ecuador" "And I had this session with a real-life shaman." "I mean, that was a trip." "It's unbelievable really, after all that" "Alternative counterculture crap," "That I would wind up on a couch" "Like a 19th-century neurotic." "Are you surprised that you," "As you say, wound up here?" "Well, back when my mother was dying," "You know, when Patricia was seeing you in Baltimore," "You really helped her." "And I think my sister felt" "Like I should be seeing someone too." "But you didn't?" "Oh, I was so overwhelmed with work." "I was racing from one job to the next." "And plus, you know," "I've just never been attracted" "To traditional therapy." "It just seemed very..." "Naked to me..." "Sitting across from someone, talking," "Being scrutinized..." "A nightmare." "Does this feel like a nightmare..." "Having to sit here with me now?" "Oh, I wouldn't say that." "More like a vague anxiety dream." "Patricia's right." "You're easy to talk to." "Besides, what can I do?" "I need help." "With your lines." "I have them down verbatim the night before." "And then I go into rehearsal and wham... they just disappear," "I mean, sometimes in the middle of a sentence." "I'm talking to another character and I just lose my place." "I don't know where I am in the play." "I don't know what's supposed to happen next." "I can't even improvise my way out of it." "So during rehearsal" "How often would you lose your lines?" "Oh, once, twice, maybe more." "Mm-hmm." "Anything about the part" "That makes you feel uncomfortable?" "No." "Do you tend to trip over the same spots..." "Certain passages," "Certain scenes that give you trouble?" "No, one day it's one place," "And another..." "the next." "No." "Ava Gardner played the part in the movie." "Did you see it?" "I think so, years ago." "Are you worried about" "Being compared to Ava Gardner?" "Oh no, I have my own take on it." "I'll be fine..." "Different, very different." "I'm not afraid." "As long as I can learn my fucking lines." "So how long have you got?" "Well, two more weeks of rehearsal," "Two weeks of preview and then opening." "And that's the big night." "The producers are in a panic," "Always hovering," "Whispering in the director's ear." "Do you think they're whispering about you?" "I heard a rumor that one of them didn't want me," "Didn't think I was right for the part." "In other words, too old." "The little prick." "You're angry with him." "No, I'm angry with myself." "I mean, it's just not like me." "I'm always prepared," "No matter how much blathering on I have to do." "I did "happy days" in London." "Do you know it?" " Sam Beckett." " That's right." "I mean, it's really a 90-minute monologue... that play." "Winnie never stops talking." "And I was a quick study." "I mean, I nailed it every time." "Back then I had some help." "From whom?" "Oh, my husband Russell." "He's a European history Professor at Columbia," "Kind of a bigwig." "Yeah, he used to get a kick out of running lines with me." "I don't know." "Maybe he just liked correcting me." "He used to lie in bed" "And I'd pace back and forth around the room." "He was like some kind of academic drill sergeant," "You know, with his glasses down on his nose," "Doing these ridiculous voices." "What a ham." "Well, now he's a pig." "So he's not helping you anymore?" "Oh, we divorced two years ago." "Yeah." "He was boffing one of his graduate students." "She dumped him six months later." "But it was enough to finish us off." "So how long were you married?" "16 years." "That's quite a long run for someone in my business." "And did you and Russell have children?" "Izzy..." "short for Isabel." "She just turned 15." "And how is she coping with the divorce?" "Fine, I thought." "I tried to change the custody arrangement" "When I got the play." "I mean, usually" "We alternate weekends and split up the week." "I just thought she could stay with me" "Full-time while I was in rehearsal" "Because I'd be home at night." "And then she could go to her father's" "When I was in tech and preview." "And she wasn't happy with that?" "Somebody wasn't happy with that." "Russell said Izzy felt manipulated by the change." "I said let her speak for herself, right?" "Now she's staying with him full-time," "Won't answer my calls." "You sound frustrated." "Yeah well, you have teenage kids." "You know." "Oh, Patricia told me" "That you were having babies when she saw you." "So I figure they must be teenagers by now, right?" "Okay, so I mean, you get it." "They're little and cute and affectionate." "And then they're gangly and resentful" "And they're blasting evil shit about you on Twitter" "And silencing their cell phones when you call." "You know, I gave her my old blackberry" "And she uses it against me." "What kind of things does she write about you?" "Oh, I don't know." "I can't do all that social networking stuff." "It's too complicated." "Yeah, I know." "I still have problems with email." "Oh no, that isn't what I meant." "I'm not a Luddite." "It's just I..." "it's too public." "I would have to have an alias." "Oh, yes yes." "Of course, yes." "Anyway, who knows what she's posting or tweeting?" ""my mother the diva" "Took another gig and bailed on her responsibilities."" "Send." "Do you think that's something that might be true..." "That you've bailed on your responsibilities?" "That you've chosen career over motherhood?" "Not at all." "History is being rewritten by Izzy." "If she only knew how many jobs I passed on" "To stay home and what, make her a Halloween costume?" "Listen to me." "I sound so..." "So what?" "You must think I'm a terrible person." "Why would I think that?" "Why did I launch into that?" "I don't know why I started in on that story." "What were we talking about?" "Oh, Izzy." "Yeah, it's not easy" "To withstand a child's anger or scorn" "And just to be there to love them anyway," "Even when they reject you." "It's very stressful." "I think I can withstand" "A lot worse than team Wiskowitz..." "That's what I call Russell and Izzy when they gang up on me." "That's his last name and hers." "I took a pass." "Look," "I'm sure you know this from Patricia," "But when our mother was dying" "I was doing three or four films a year." "I was under a lot of pressure..." "Both personal and professional." "I mean, I would sometimes fly from the set to the hospital" "And I would have to be back in makeup by crack of dawn." "I never missed a day..." "Not one." "My director friend used to call me t." "M.F.C...." "Tough mother fucking cookie." "I can take it." "You must have found work then" "To be a useful distraction." "Kept me sane." "Only now it's making me crazy." "But obviously that was a long time ago." "Back then you probably could" "Handle the stress, the schedule, the jet lag." "But you were much younger then." " We were all younger once, Paul." " Yes, I know, but..." "Yeah well, I know what you're getting at." "And you're wrong." "What am I getting at?" "How would you like it if I sat here" "Implying things about your aging body?" "I mean, certain issues do tend to arise" "Or not arise, as the case may be, in men of a certain age." "That is true, yeah." "It's not menopause." "Okay." "Good." "Seems like I've made you angry." "It was interesting earlier on when you talked about that producer..." "The one who thought you were too old." "That made you angry too." "Is it a sensitive subject for you?" "Oh, it's not for everyone?" "Well, it is for most people, yeah." "Look, I'm sure that you're dating some 25-year-old hottie" "Who bops home from the gym and bops you into bed, right?" "Patricia caught a glimpse of your wife," "But I don't notice a wedding band." "Sounds like you and Patricia talked about me quite a lot." "Does that make you nervous?" "Oh, don't worry." "She adores you." "She said before she met her husband" "You were the most wonderful man she had ever met," "Quote unquote." "Did you know she got married?" "No, I didn't." "Yeah, she found someone..." "Yvan." "They met on some fellowship in France." "They used to finish each other's sentences," "Sometimes in several languages." "Really nice to see her so happy." "But he died, though." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." "He had a heart condition." "And she knew this when she married him." "She married him anyway." "That's Patricia..." "Unconditional love." "My sister is sick." "She has our mother's disease." " Breast cancer?" " Mm." "What's her prognosis?" "Stage IV." "I see." "How long?" "I'm not sure." "I wanted to tell you when I called you" "And then later when I got here, but I couldn't." "I understand." "It's very hard" "To say that kind of thing." "Does she have somebody to talk to?" "I mean, is she seeing a therapist?" " Patricia?" " Yes." "I'm just concerned." "She should be... she should be talking to somebody." "I'm not sure." "Well, death runs in the family." " What does that mean?" " It's a family disease." "If your mother dies of it, watch out." "You're five times more likely to get it yourself." "Are you all right?" "Yes yes, I'm fine." "You said it was a family disease." "Yeah, there's a genetic test" "For breast cancer..." "the brca1." "Yes, I know." "Patricia's obsessed with it..." "All those miserable statistics." "I finally had a mammogram just to shut her up." "I was 100% clean." "But that's not enough for her." "She still wants me to take the test." "She harangues me every time she sees me." "Of course I haven't seen her for close to a month." "I've been so swamped." "Does she still live in Baltimore?" "No, she moved here years ago." "She lives just 15 blocks from here." "She hates being sick." "She's so confined." "I mean, she used to be so vibrant." " You remember." " Sure." "She must have been quite ill" "When you started rehearsals." "Yeah well, when I took the play" "She was just starting chemo again." "And when I started rehearsals" "Well, they had started another round," "But it wasn't working." "So they stopped treatment." "Why?" "Are you joining team Wiskowitz?" "You think I shouldn't have taken the play?" "No, I just think it's worth looking at the reasons" "Why you might have taken the job." "I needed a job." "I wanted to take a job." "I hadn't worked in two years." "I hadn't had a decent job in longer than that." "So I grabbed it." "Does that make me a cold-hearted egomaniac?" "Look, you've just come through" "A difficult divorce;" "Your daughter isn't relating to you;" "Your sister is sick;" "There's a genetic test that you're anxious about..." "No, I'm not anxious about the fucking test, okay?" "Patricia's the one who's anxious." "Well, I would imagine that the play" "Provided a kind of an escape..." "Escape?" "No, it's the problem, not the solution." "What's the problem?" "I'm failing." "Is it possible that some part of you" "Might be inclined towards failure?" "I mean, people sabotage themselves all the time" "For what they think are very good reasons." "Well, that's not me." "You know, earlier you were talking about Izzy" "And how angry she is and how she resents you working." "Did you notice during that that you lost your train of thought?" "No." "Well, you did." "And it was at a moment" "When you were judging yourself for being selfish." "I'm just wondering if you're having a similar judgment" "About yourself in rehearsal..." "You know, about being selfish by being in the play." "My God, did you aggravate Patricia like this?" "She said you were supremely supportive." "Well, maybe I've just become more aggravating" "In my middle years, yeah." "Or maybe she was a nicer patient." "I don't know." "Was she a nicer patient?" "What if she was a nicer patient..." "A better patient, whatever that might mean?" "You know, I think it's interesting" "That you chose to see me..." "Your sister's former therapist." "Well, as I said, you came highly recommended." "Well, I'm sure that you had recommendations" "From a lot of people." " No." " Did you ask around?" "No, not really." "Do you think there might be" "Something particular in coming to see me..." "Some special understanding that you might hope" "To gain about Patricia," "Some insight into her maybe," "Into her relationship with you bef..." "What?" "Just say it." "It's true." "She's dying..." "Tricia." "That's the first time I've said it out loud." "Is it time?" "Because it must be time." "Oh God." "I tell you, rehearsal's gonna be." "So are you on your way to work?" "Yes, I am." "Wish me luck." "Well," "Break a leg, as they say." "Oh well, save the superstitions for the performance." "This is just a run-through." "Well, good luck with your run-through then." "Tell the truth... do you always buy fresh flowers for the office" "Or were you just trying to make a good impression?" "I was just passing the bodega" "And I thought they'd brighten up the place." "They do." "And just keep an eye when you're rehearsing" "If you go up on the lines." "If?" "Hello." "Um, Dr. Burdick, please." "Paul Weston." "Hey Alan." "How are you?" "Yeah yeah, I'm great." "Oh, they're..." "Thanks for asking." "They're doing really well." "Thank you." "And yours?" "Great." "Alan, I had..." "I had a favor to ask." "I was wondering if you could recommend" "A good neurologist." "I just..." "I just have a few questions about..." "It's about Parkinson's, just..." "Yeah, sure sure." "I'll..." "I'll hold." "Yeah, sure."