"All right!" "Here we go!" "1999!" "The year of Joey!" "We're very happy for you." "What's the matter?" "!" "We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know¡¦" "All right, I'll take care of it." "Oh no, wait!" "Joey!" "73!" "72!" "71!" "Ross!" "Ross!" "Ross, listen!" "Who are you kissing at midnight, huh?" "Rachel or Phoebe?" "What?" "Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister." "Well, who's gonna kiss my sister." "Chandler." "Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?" "That's a good point." "Yeah." "Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe." "Okay, great!" " All right." "Pheebs!" "Pheebs!" "Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!" "It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?" "Rach!" "Rach!" "Listen, I'm gonna kiss you at midnight." "What?" "!" "Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone." "You can't kiss Ross you got the history." "So?" "So?" "Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?" "Oh, good point. / Yeah!" "3!" "2!" "1!" "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" "Happy New Year!" " Happy New Year." "Happy New Year, Pheebs!" " You too!" "Happy New Year, Joey!" "So did that do anything for ya?" "¿µ¾îÀÚ¸·:gnugu(gunugu@hanmail.net)" "Y'know what?" "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!" "But your divorce isn't even final yet." "Just the one divorce in '99!" "Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year." "I am gonna make myself happy." "Do you want us to leave the room, or?" "Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before." "That my friends is my New Year's resolution." "Ooh!" "That's a good one!" "Mine is to pilot a commercial jet." "That's good one too, Pheebs." "Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths." "Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane." "She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us." "In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us." "Eh, y'know what, better yet?" "A week." "I'll take that bet my friend." "And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!"" "And it starts right now!" "All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar." "Ohh. / Really?" "!" "How come?" "Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume?" "I would love it would be great if one of those was true." "Do you want me to teach you?" "I'm a great teacher." "Really?" "Who-who have you taught?" "Well, I taught me and I love me." "Yeah that'd be great!" "Thanks Pheebs!" "Op, look!" "Claire forgot her glasses!" "And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about." "Hey Rach, maybe your resolution should be to umm, gossip less." "I don't gossip!" "Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and" "I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip." "I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?" "Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would." "What?" "They were like this!" "I'll see you tomorrow." "Okay!" "Hey!" " Hey!" "I just asked that girl out." "Nice!" "Nice!" "Yeah!" "Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?" "Yes it is." "See." "Elizabeth Hornswoggle?" "That's right, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle." "Horn-swoggle." "You all right Chandler?" "Is there something funny about that name?" "No." "No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before." "Oh really!" "Where?" "Somewhere funny I'd bet!" "Hi, Pheebs!" " Hey!" "Oh-oh, guess what?" "I-I have a date with Elizabeth Hornswoggle." "Hornswoggle?" "Ooh, this must be killing you." "All right, see you later." "See ya!" "All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson." "Okay." "Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar!" "First you learn here, then you learn here." "Umm, okay." "Okay, lesson one: chords." "Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm," "I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them" "So then, this is Bear Claw." "Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady." "What an interesting approach to guitar instruction." "Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular." "Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today." "She didn't gossip at all." "I didn't!" "Even when I found out¡¦umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it." "Hey, Pheebs!" "Check-check this out." "Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady!" "Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and¡¦" "Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there?" "Did you?" "!" "No." "Give me your hands." "Strings." "Gimme it!" "Pick." "Do you want to learn to play guitar?" "Yes!" "Then don't touch one!" "Hi!" " Hi!" " Hi Ben!" "Auntie Monica!" "Ross is wearing leather pants!" "Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants?" "Someone comment on the pants!" "I think they're very nice." "I like 'em./ Yeah!" " I like them a lot." "That's not what I had in mind!" "See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants." "You see, they're very tight." "Maybe there's something in that area." "Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself," ""Wow, I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."" "Oh come on!" "Okay, seriously, what do you think?" "You look like a freak. / Awful, absolutely awful." "What are you, what are you doing?" "It's my New Year's resolution!" "What, to blind my child?" "No!" "To take more pictures of all of us together." "I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures." "Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well." "My God!" "These pants are burning up!" "Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now!" "What is she trying to kill me?" "It's like a volcano in here!" "Are you hot?" " No." "Okay, it must just be me then." "That was just the pants on the couch." "Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?" "No, go ahead." "Thanks." "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh¡¦¡¦¡¦." "Hey, my favorite part is coming up!" " 'Kay!" "Oh my God!" "Tiger!" "Dragon!" "Iceberg." "Joseph, did you even study at all last night?" "Yes!" "Yes, I did." "Then do Iceberg!" "G-sharp." "G-sharp?" "Have you been studying the real names of the chords?" "Have you?" "Oh my God!" "What?" "!" "I didn't touch a guitar!" "No, but you're questioning my method!" "No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid!" "What?" "!" "Thank you." "Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid." "Your other student, was you!" "Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder!" "Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher!" "Right here!" "Here!" "Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!" "Fine!" "You go learn from your qualified instructor!" "But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!" ""Baddest man in the whole damn town."" "Oh, fine!" "Take his side!" "I can't wait to be with you!" "I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben." "I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours." "Laundry." "Huh." "Is that my new nickname?" "Arghh!" "Hello?" "Joey, it's Ross!" "I need some help!" "Uhh, Chandler's not here." "Well, you can help me!" "Okay." "Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom¡¦" "Nice!" "No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat." "Look, I-I can't put them back on." "I can't!" "Oh." "That is quite a situation." "Uh, do you see any like, powder?" "Powder!" "Yeah!" "Yeah, I have powder!" "Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up." "Yeah, okay, hold on" "They're not coming on man." "Umm, do you see any-oh, Vaseline?" "Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion!" "Will that work?" "Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there." "Hold on." "Ross?" "You okay?" "They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!" "Really?" "!" "Uhh, what color is it?" "What difference does that make?" "!" "Well, I'm just-if the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference!" "Joey, do you have a minute?" "Dude, what am I gonna¡¦" "Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out." "Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!" "Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better." "I am putting out fires all over the place." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Joey, I have got to tell you something!" "What-what is it, what is it?" "Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone." "Oh no, no-no-no-no!" "I don't want to know!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes, you do want to know!" "This is unbelievable!" "I don't care, Rach!" "Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!" "What?" "What secrets?" "You know secrets?" "What are they?" "And you're not supposed to be gossiping!" "I know, I know!" "I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone¡¦" "I'm not listening to you!" "Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time." "I'm starting to get kinda freaked out." "All right, I'm coming out." "Hey, can you turn the lights off." "No, let's just leave the lights on." "Oh my God!" "I had a problem." "Hey, Pheebs?" "No, I can't talk to you!" "I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!" "Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and- and maybe ask you to be my teacher again." "And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready." "You really think I'm ready?" " Uh-huh!" "Wow!" "Cool!" "Was the chord at least right¡¦ / No!" "Oh my God!" "We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry." "This year was supposed to be great!" "But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!" "No." "No, you're not a loser." "Look at me!" "Hey, hey, look." "Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you!" "Huh?" "You're-you're a cowboy!" "Oh, be-because of the leather pants." "See?" "Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy!" "Now that's something. /Yeah!" "That really is something; that's really cool. / Howdy partner!" "Maybe I should get another pair!" "Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides." "I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight." "I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy." "I would make a good cowboy." "Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here," "I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry." "Oh yeah, me too." "Y'know if this shirt is dirty." "Yep." "Okay, I'm gonna go too." "I'm gonna go to the airport." "I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended." "Good luck, honey!" " Bye!" "Hey, uh, Joey?" "Umm?" "Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?" "Oh, no!" "I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it." "Right?" "Well, then it wouldn't be a secret." "So yeah, that would be okay." "Yeah." "Yeah!" "Yeah." "Well." "Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?" "Now?" "You want me to go over there now?" " Yeah!" "Do you know something?" " Do you know something?" "I might know something./ I might know something too." "What's the thing you know?" "Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know." "I can't tell you what I know." "Well then I can't tell you what I know." "Okay, fine." "You don't know!" "All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and" "I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!" "YOU KNOW!" " AND YOU KNOW!" "Yeah, I know!" "Monica?" "!" "Oh, this is unbelievable!" "How long have you known?" "Too long!" "Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long!" "Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that!" "Listen¡¦" "Hey!" "Hey!" "It's raining." "I don't want to fly in the rain." "So¡¦" "Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain." "Ohhh, yeah, me too." "That's weird." "I bet they're doing it." "Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore." "I can't take it anymore." "So you win, okay?" "Here!" "Pheebs?" "Flying a jet?" "Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet!" "And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back!" "And Hornswoggle?" "What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?" "!"