"RADIO ANNOUNCER:" "You're with KNOX, the sound of Texas South." "Overnight, Texas South had one half inch of rain." "Today, an 80 percent chance of rain in greater Houston." "The downtown temperature right now is 70 degrees, with an afternoon high due of 85." "The air is good today with the pollen level at 200 and the lead level a low 1 20." "Sulphur is reported negligible." "Good day air-wise, but traffic-wise things are gumming up!" "Downtown is still moving, but out there on the North Loop at Exit 49 there's heavy, heavy inbound stuff." "On Southbound 9 we have a highway patrol advisory on a car and truck wreck which is stacking things back to lower downtown already." "The good news is that Hurricane Eleanor has decided to move off east now, maybe to avoid all that traffic." "And the high-wind advisory of last night has been lifted." "Also lifting is the Dow Jones." "At 1 0 a.m. EST, up five at 800 on last night's New York close." "More news and numbers from me, Bob Merry at 1 1, here on KNOX, the sound of Texas south, brought to you today by" "Commercial Wall Coverings, "The stuff that sticks. "" "Now, back to work and keep moving, Texas!" "MAN ON TV:" "Nature guards her treasures jealously." "Just a decade ago, these fields were beyond our reach." "We didn't have the technology." "Today, a Knox engineer will tell you that he might need a little time but he'll get the oil." "He knows that a little time is all that we have left." "(MAN SNORING)" "MAN: (WHISPERING) Mr Happer." "Mr Happer, sir." "(WHISPERING) The main business today, gentlemen, is the report on the progress of our acquisition of Scotland that is, part of Scotland, for the refinery and storage base." "I've got a few things to show you." "You know we have a two-year lead in North Atlantic development." "We can double this, if we could streamline the processing end of things onshore." "The pipeline is well on its way from all three production areas and we have a site for the terminal right here." "What about the site acquisition?" "MAN 2: (WHISPERING) It's critical." "The survey teams have found just about the only suitable bay on the entire coast." "Total investment is 600 million, spread over the next three fiscals." "We've got to buy Ferness Bay for $60 million." "And we're dealing with close and stable allies of the US not to mention the links, historically, between Knox Oil and Scotland." "We're not in a Third World situation here." "I think we should get a negotiator on the site right away." "Do I really have to go there?" "I'm more of a telex man." "I could fix the deals in an afternoon over the phone, like with Salinas last year." "It's not like Mexico, MacIntyre." "We're dealing with people like ourselves." "You're a Scot." "You'll be dealing with your own people." "That's why you're going." "You won't be dealing with a bunch of Indians." "Cal, look after Africa for me while I'm gone?" "CAL:" "All of Africa?" "No, just the West Coast deals." "Sarah's got the files." "We've got the Congo development minister's tit in the wringer so squeeze another five percent of the crude oil gross out of him," "I think we can close this deal." "What about the tanker franchise?" "I want franchises in all three territories." "I think a couple of telexes should do it, and put a five-day deadline on the offer." "You got it." "You want to eat?" "Eat." "You want to eat?" "Cal, I got a confession to make." "I'm not Scottish." "Man, oh, man." "Think I should tell Fountain?" "Hell, no." "Don't spoil the fun." "Take the trip." "My folks changed their name when they got off the boat from Hungary." "They thought that MacIntyre was American." "Jesus, Mac." "You're not a Scotsman, you're not a Texan." "MAC:" "I can't even pronounce my last name." "Comets are important." "They could be the key to the universe, maybe." "And what are you going to call this comet, if and when you find it, Happer?" "The Happer Comet or Happer's Comet or Comet Happer." "I thought it might be!" "The whole world'll weep with gratitude, Happer, when the big day comes." ""Mr Happer's got his comet." "Hooray!"" "What an empty, hollow, wasteful activity." "You're chasing comets around the sky." "Is your life around you so complete?" "What about a wife, children, a family?" "Are these human goals too simple for you?" "Get out, Moritz." "That's enough for today." "I got some meetings soon." "Go on, out." "Out, out, out, out, out!" "Yes, sir, Mr Happer." "It seemed to go pretty well today, didn't it, sir?" "It was okay, Moritz." "In fact, I think we could build up the sessions." "Maybe two or three a week, at the same fee, of course." "We're at a crucial stage." "Check with Mrs Wyatt on the way out." "Fix a half hour for Friday." "Maybe I could give you an abusive phone call some night." "Any time that's inconvenient." "The surprise element might do a lot of good..." "I mean, harm." "Out!" "Moritz!" "Did you mean all that stuff about me being a flop?" "God, no, Mr Happer!" "It's basic therapy technique." "Sometimes I get carried away." "You think if I had married that things would be different?" "By no means, Mr Happer." "The modern world offers many alternatives to the security of the family unit." "Look at me, Mr Happer." "I'm a single man." "Get out." "Mrs Wyatt, who are we sending to Scotland on that refinery deal?" "MRS WYATT:" "Mr Crabbe has selected Mr MacIntyre of Acquisitions for the trip, sir." "His Scottish connections seem to fit the bill and he handled Mexico pretty well last year." "I remember Mexico." "Tell him I want to see him before he leaves." "Don't get up, but I've just been called upstairs." "I'm going to go upstairs to meet the man." "I mean, this could be it." "Big doings." "When was the last time you know anybody who was called upstairs, huh?" "I get to ride the express elevator, too!" "I have the Prime Minister for you now, Mr Happer." "Hold on." "Mr Happer, ma'am." "(CHUCKLES) Why, yes, I did." "I tried it with the raspberries." "It was delicious." "Although I only had frozen." "Yes, ma'am." "Here's Mr Happer now." "Goodbye." "(INTERCOM BUZZING)" "I'm sorry, Your Excellency, but Mr Happer can't talk right now." "If you could ask His Serene Highness to call back in half an hour." "(MAC CLEARS THROAT)" "MacIntyre, sir." "Pleased to meet you." "You're going to Scotland, MacIntyre." "Yes, sir." "Be like going home." "Like we're going home, eh?" "The founder of all this was a Scot, Alexander Knox." "No, that's not him." "That's my father." "He bought out Knox in 1 91 2." "Would've been handy if he'd thought to change the company name at the same time but..." "Well, anyway, you're going to Scotland." "The Old Country, eh, MacIntyre?" "(LAUGHS)" "Yes, sir." "Virgo is well up this time of the year." "Sir?" "I'm talking about the sky, MacIntyre." "The constellation of Virgo is very prominent in the sky right now in Scotland." "I want you to keep an eye on Virgo for me." "Will you do that?" "Oh, sure." "(WHIRRING)" "This is Virgo." "Find the Great Bear, the Big Dipper and you can't go wrong." "Get to know it." "I'm expecting something special from there." "Keep your eyes skinned." "I want reports." "Reports, sir?" "Anything unusual in Virgo." "It might be a new star, or even a shooting star." "I want to know about it." "I want reports." "Anything out of the ordinary, you telephone me, night or day." "This is my private number." "You'll be travelling six hours east from here." "You'll be ahead." "Think of that." "Do you know what I'm talking about?" "I have a general idea." "You'll know when you see it." "And you telephone me, okay?" "You do know what a comet is, don't you?" "I feel sure I'd know one if I saw one." "And you'd phone me?" "I'd phone you, sir." "Good man." "You've got the picture." "The northern sky is a beautiful thing, MacIntosh." "You're going to have a wonderful trip." "Thank you, sir." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Yes?" "Hi, Rita." "Who is this?" "Mac." "Yes?" "I'm gonna be leaving the country for a while,just a short time and I was wondering if you'd like to celebrate this evening with a drink or something?" "Uh..." "No." "No, it's not, it's Mac." "She knows." "No, Mac." "M-A-C." "Hello, there." "How are you?" "Good." "Yeah, I know, I'm terrific, too." "No, I won't keep you, it's just that I'm leaving town for a while and you still have some stuff here." "Well, some mail." "Three letters." "I'm afraid they've been here for a while." "What else is just your cigarette lighter." "The English one." "I thought you might miss that." "No, it's not important if you can live without it." "There is something else." "Remember my camera case?" "The one you kept your make-up in." "I want it back." "No, that's not why I called." "I just thought that..." "No, it's not true." "Look, Trudy, I don't want to argue with you, all right?" "Now, look, I'm not calling you a thief." "Look, maybe you are a kleptomaniac." "You think you ought to see a doctor?" "You're the pervert." "Look, just piss up a rope, all right?" "PILOT: ...with that 1 20 knot tail-wind, our speed over the ocean is 740 miles per hour." "If you'd like to adjust your watches, the time in Britain right now is 1 1.;4 7 exactly." "And our estimated arrival is at 1.;45 local time." "Shortly before our descent, I'll give you more information on the weather in Britain." "Thank you." "WOMAN ON PA:" "British Caledonian." "Would passengers arriving from London and connecting with services to Thistle and Ninian Fields please proceed now to the helicopter check-in desk at Gate 4." "Thank you." "Excuse me, I'm MacIntyre, Knox Oil and Gas, Houston." "Are you..." "Oldsen, yes," "Knox Oil and Gas, Aberdeen." "I didn't want to make a fuss." "I know how delicate this business is." "Do you have a car?" "Sure." "And you'll take me to the laboratory?" "Yes." "Well, let's go." "Can I give you a wee hand?" "Yeah." "Could you close that door?" "This is a controlled environment, you know." "Dr Geddes, Mr Watt, this is..." "MacIntyre, Houston." "Glad to know you." "Welcome to our little world, MacIntyre." "So, you've come to see the bay, eh?" "Marina, this is Mr MacIntyre and Mr..." "Oldsen." "Danny." "Hello." "The sensor on 421 's gone haywire." "I'd better replace it." "NORMAN:" "She's got a magnificent pair of lungs." "GEDDES:" "Oh, yes." "A great asset." "Five degrees in oceanography and a very talented programmer." "I'll get rid of her when she surfaces." "She's not in on this Ferness thing yet." "Actually, she's better in the field." "Here's the dud." "You can take some lunch now, Marina." "Sure." "I'll show you the site models now, shall I?" "Aye, let you see what you're in the market for, MacIntyre." "This is a bay in a million." "It's the only one on the West Coast where the silt's deep enough to take the foundation piles." "And this harbour here is a natural for blasting in the underground tanks." "Here." "Hold Ferness a minute, would you?" "Plus, you see, the debris rock will be used to fill in the other beach for the refinery." "Of course, with 1 2 more miles of coastline to play with this place could become the petrochemical capital of the free world." "Six months blasting, two years construction." "It'll last a thousand years." "Forever." "It'll even survive the next ice age." "We've proved that, you know." "We've proved it." "We've simulated 1 0,000 years of intense glaciation over the whole bay." "Of course, we don't need that ice age." "We can divert the Gulf Stream and unfreeze the Arctic Circle." "He proved it right here." "But they won't listen." "They want to freeze." "Thank you, Norman, but there was no need to bring that up." "Will Marina be back?" "GEDDES:" "No, not for a while yet." "We should head north soon." "We'll see it when we get back, maybe." "No." "Take it." "Keep it." "Dream large." "Dream large." "What are you thinking about?" "Girls." "Naked girls." "Me, too." "In a fish tank." "Yeah." "(TYRES SCREECHING)" "What's up?" "I think we hit something." "It got misty all of a sudden and I think we hit something." "OLDSEN:" "Shit, I hate hitting things!" "It's just kind of stunned." "Maybe a broken leg or something." "Should we put it out of its misery?" "What do you mean?" "Kill it." "Hit it with something hard." "You've already done that with a two-ton automobile." "Just put it in the car." "Well, we can't drive in this stuff." "Where are we?" "The last couple of road signs were in Gaelic." "It's not one of my languages." "You speak languages?" "French, Italian, Spanish, Greek," "Turkish, Russian, Swedish, German, Japanese, Dutch and Polish." "I have a facility with languages." "I've got some chocolate and some gum." "What have you got?" "Nothing, niente," " nada, rien." "Okay, okay." "This is my car." "Porsche 930." "Turbo-charged." "A good car's important." "I used to get migraine headaches when I drove a Chevy." "A car like this won't let you down." "(WATCH ALARM BEEPING)" "Conference time in Houston." "I'll give them a call tomorrow." "(SIGHING)" "Well, good night." "Yeah." "Do you think we could have the lights off?" "OLDSEN:" "Sure, sure." "(WATCH ALARM BEEPING)" "Morning." "Hello." "(OLDSEN COUGHING)" "(ENGINE WHIRRING)" "Some place, huh?" "Yeah." "I think I'll call him Harry." "MAC:" "No, her name's Trudy." "I'm hungry." "I'll drive." "Whole lot of scenery, though." "(CAR HORN HONKS)" "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "MAN:" "What is it?" "Sorry to trouble you so early." "We'd like to check in and maybe eat something." "Breakfast isn't till eight." "Seven in the fishing season." "It's not the fishing season." "Could we check in anyway?" "We've been on the road all night." "We have an injured rabbit also." "(DOOR OPENING)" "It's never locked." "Passing through?" "We might stay a few days." "Why don't you make yourselves some toast and coffee and we'll take care of the formalities later." "I have to go back upstairs." "Thank you." "There's some lettuce in the fridge for the rabbit." "Nice people, huh?" "Yeah." "And they speak English." "Do you think they're at it up there?" "No." "(MIMICKING MAC) "We have an injured rabbit also."" "Think it's them?" "Sure." "Hundred percent sure." "Christmas might be early this year." "So, what do you want for Christmas?" "Better get that new mattress." "Hang on!" "(DOOR OPENING)" "Hi." "Excuse me, would you have an adapter?" "I have to charge my briefcase." "What?" "It's an electric briefcase." "The lock is electric." "I have to charge it." "Would you have an adapter?" "Do you need it right away?" "Whenever." "Why don't you leave it with me and I'll sort something out for you." "I'll just hold on to it." "Okay, fine." "Thanks." "(WOMAN GIGGLING)" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Everything okay, gents?" "Very nice, thank you." "We only do a hot lunch every other day." "You were lucky." "We have to talk to a Mr Urquhart, an accountant." "Can you tell me where might we find him?" "Indeed, yes." "He has an office next door, to the left, on the first floor." "I know for a fact he'll be there in about 1 5 minutes." "Thank you." "Delicious." "Delicious." "(MOTORBIKE APPROACHING)" "Come in!" "Hello again." "I'm Gordon Urquhart." "We double up on jobs round here." "I'm a taxi driver sometimes, too." "Sit down." "What can I do for you?" "I represent Knox Oil and Gas, Mr "Og-hart"." "Gordon." "Gordon." "Okay, Gordon." "I believe that some of my people let you know that we would be calling." "(BANGING ON ROOF)" "That's right." "So, what's up?" "We're in the way of acquiring some real estate in the area and we..." "Well, we wanted to ask for your help in coordinating our work." "What do you want to buy?" "(BANGING ON ROOF CONTINUES)" "I don't want to be coy with you." "We want to buy the whole place." "We want to buy everything from the cliffs to the north, through to the bay on the far side and we want to go about a mile inland, too." "That's all." "Well, you're talking about 1 5, maybe 20 properties." "You're talking about families, businesses, farms." "You're talking about a lot of money." "We don't have to go into figures right now." "I have a breakdown of the properties." "It's a matter of bringing the community together and making a collective deal, if you like." "Why don't you get to know the place?" "Take a day or so." "I'll take things as far as I can and I'll let you know." "How about that?" "Okay, Gordon, if you think it'll take that long." "You talking about the church, too?" "Yes." "That's gonna be tricky." "The church has very definite views about property." "We'll leave it in your hands, okay?" "Take in the beach." "Relax for a while." "It's a beautiful place." "And you'll work out some numbers?" "I'll do my best." "Cheerio." "(BANGING ON ROOF)" "Take it away, Andrew." "Boy, are we going to be rich." "We're going to sell this hotel." "(HUMMING)" "# Why do you?" "#" "(LAUGHING)" "# Mr MacIntyre, I know you do #" "Stella!" "Thank you." "Sorry." "That's all right." "What do you make of Urquhart, then?" "He smells the money." "Nice beach, this, isn't it?" "Yeah." "We should come here when we have to discuss business." "The hotel is too public." "Right." "That's where the jetty will be, and the storage tanks over here." "All the way up." "It looks just like the model, doesn't it?" "Well, more expensive." "It's some business." "It's the only business." "Could you imagine a world without oil?" "No automobiles." "No heat." "OLDSEN:" "And polish." "MAC:" "No ink." "OLDSEN:" "And nylon." "MAC:" "No detergents." "OLDSEN:" "And Perspex." "You wouldn't get any Perspex." "MAC:" "No polythene." "OLDSEN:" "Dry-cleaning fluid." "MAC:" "And waterproof coats." "They make dry-cleaning fluid out of oil?" "OLDSEN:" "Yeah." "Did you not know that?" "(MAC GIGGLING)" "MAC:" "No, I didn't know that." "You know anything about the stars?" "Not much." "Why?" "I want to check something out." "I'll get a book or something." "(WATCH ALARM BEEPING)" "It's business time in Houston." "I want to make some calls." "Can I help you, gentlemen?" "Yes." "I'd like to use the telephone." "Is there one in the hotel?" "There's a phone box across the road at the jetty." "You'll need some change." "You can talk to anywhere in the world from there." "Could you change this for me, please?" "Tens, the lot." "Well, now, I don't think we'll manage that." "You got any tens, lads?" "The gentleman here would like to make a very important long-distance phone call." "Intercontinental." "Come on, give me your tens!" "Sandy!" "Got any ten pences?" "Ten pences." "(MOTORBIKE APPROACHING)" "Ricky's on the road tonight." "You've got to look both ways." "Come on." "There you are, Mr Mac." "Full working order." "Thanks." "I'm fine now." "Thank you very much." "You don't have to do that." "It's gonna be terrific." "Thank you." "Have you got the code?" "I got the code, yeah." "'Cause if not, I'll get the operator to sort it for you." "I'll be all right." "I'll be okay." "You put the tens in when you hear the pips." "I'm fine." "Thanks." "You've been a big help." "I'll see you later." "Later on, I'll see you." "All right." "Bye-bye." "Thanks again." "Bye!" "You've been a big help." "Bye." "RECEPTIONISTS:" "Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas." "Hold the line, please." "Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas." "Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas." "Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas." "(PHONE BEEPING)" "RECEPTIONIST 1 :" "Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas." "Okay!" "Listen, just get me Calvin Wrain in Acquisitions and Negotiations!" "And hurry, please!" "I'm calling from a very great distance!" "Hold the line, please." "(PHONE RINGING)" "This is Wrain." "Cal, I'm in a phone box!" "Mac, how are you?" "Listen." "Take this number, Ferness 261 ." "You're gonna have to look up the code." "I'll give you any other numbers I have as soon as I know the place better." "(PHONE BEEPING)" "Cal!" "How are things, boy?" "Everything's fine, Mac." "You've only been gone a couple of days." "Seems longer to me." "I feel I've been here forever." "How's the deal going?" "May take a little time." "They've got a real nice beach here, Cal." "(BEEPING)" "(BUZZING)" "(DIALLING TONE)" "Moritz, you're destroying me." "(LAUGHING)" "Yes, now we're getting somewhere." "I think we can move on." "What do you mean?" "The next stage." "We should physicalise things a little." "What?" "I could hit you." "Wouldn't that humiliate you?" "We'd progress by leaps and bounds." "I could tie you up." "Forget it, Moritz." "You're talking perversion, not therapy." "Go on, get out, and don't come back." "That's good!" "You're reacting." "You're upset already." "Think what it'll be like when I punch you!" "Get out before I punch you!" "This is most gratifying, Mr Happer." "It vindicates my entire theory." "The whole programme." "I've got your ego on the run, Mr Happer, you piece of shit!" "Sorry, sir, that just slipped out." "You'll be hearing from me." "We can't give up now." "You're a star patient, Mr Happer." "I might have to raise my fee when we do get physical." "But it won't be anything unreasonable." "Good afternoon, Mr Happer." "Mrs Wyatt, cancel all future appointments with Moritz and get me Hawaii." "I want Fisher at the observatory." "(COUPLE LAUGHING)" "Hello, Danny." "Morning, Mr MacIntyre." "We'll give "Urgu-hart" 24 hours." "Yeah." "Look at the birds." "They don't look like seagulls." "No, they're too small for seagulls." "And they're not white." "They'll get wet." "Maybe they're waterproof." "You get waterproof birds?" "Yeah, sure you do." "(EXPLOSION)" "(EXPLOSION)" "Let's check out the church, talk to the preacher." "I want to do something." "OLDSEN:" "Do you think Gordon and Stella do it every night?" "MAC:" "Of course not." "URQUHART:" "Look, please, everyone, will you calm down!" "Nobody's mentioned money yet." "Don't get excited." "Quiet, please, everyone!" "Thanks, Murdo." "All I need just now is your okay to negotiate." "I've got the Knox man on the hook." "Just give me the time to land him in style." "Now, he's got a bag full of money." "So stay calm and let me handle him." "I need your patience and your faith." "Trust me." "Would they be wanting to buy a boat, too, Mr Urquhart?" "Gideon, if things go well, they'll have to buy their own shirts back off us this time next week." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Now, stay calm." "Trust me." "Gordon, I'd like to say a short prayer now, since we're all here." "Fine, Murdo." "Quiet, please, everyone!" "Murdo wants to say a short prayer." "Lord..." "It's the Yank and the other one." "They're coming across to the church!" "Quiet, please, everyone!" "Murdo, can you deal with them?" "Oh, God." "Just head them off." "Not a sound, please!" "Oh, God!" "This is where the canteen'll be." "What's that?" "It's where you have lunch, you know, and dinner." "A commissary." "Yeah, that kind of thing." "Very nice." "Good morning!" "Can I help you?" "Reverend Macpherson?" "Yes." "My name's MacIntyre." "And this is Oldsen." "MacIntyre, eh?" "You're not Scottish, are you?" "I'm an American, actually." "I'm not a Scotsman, either." "I'm an African." "I came here as a student minister and didn't ever get away again." "What can I do for you?" "We're, um..." "We're here on kind of a mission." "Same here." "Well, we're in the way of wanting to acquire some real estate in the area, sir, and we'd like to establish relationships with those who have land hereabouts." "You want to buy my church?" "Well, not as a going concern." "They're practising." "As long as they're bombing the beach, they can't be bombing anywhere else." "It's kind of comforting." "(LAUGHS)" "So far as your business here is concerned, all I can recommend is that you talk to our Mr Urquhart." "He looks after the interests of the church, in temporal matters, at least." "I understand." "It sounds like good advice, Reverend." "I know I don't have to ask you, sir, but could you treat our conversation with confidence, for the meantime?" "I give you my word that I'll be as discreet as the next man, Mr MacIntyre." "Thank you." "But news does tend to travel fast around here." "I understand, sir." "The reverend says news travels fast around here." "ALL:" "Hmm." "Don't know why I'm here." "I'm more of a telex man." "I could sew this whole deal up in one afternoon over the wires." "That's the kind of person I am." "I need electricity." "(PLANE WHOOSHING)" "I don't know about those jets." "They really spoil a very nice area." "It's a crime." "(SIGHING) Yeah." "Excuse me, can I have another roll, please?" "Certainly." "We saw an old man on the beach today." "Who was that?" "That'd be Ben." "Is that his shack?" "Yes." "And he lives there the whole year?" "Yes." "Doesn't he get cold?" "No." "He's used to it." "How's the casserole de lapin?" "Excellent." "Terrific." "Thank you." "Lapin." "That's rabbit." "Is this my rabbit?" "Yes." "Harry." "Trudy." "We don't allow animals in the bedrooms." "I should have told you sooner." "It was a pet, not an animal." "It had a name." "You don't eat things with names." "This is horrific." "It was an injured rabbit, in shock with a broken limb." "It was in pain." "Excuse me, Mr Urquhart, but I think you were a bit hasty." "Mac was looking after it." "All it needed was lots of rest and the proper treatment." "There was every chance of a full recovery and an active life." "Mac was on top of the situation." "They didn't like the rabbit." "Mac loved the rabbit, that's just the point!" "It had a name!" "Two names!" "I'm sorry, I just don't think there's a lot I can do." "Is it worthwhile calling the vet, Stella?" "Don't be a clown, Gordon." "Get into the kitchen and make some coffee." "It had a broken leg." "It was a clean snap." "You check the bones in the dish if you don't believe me." "I'm sorry, Mac, but we eat rabbits here." "The vet would have done the same." "I didn't know it had a name." "It's okay, Stella." "Look, you don't have to finish it if you don't want to." "How was it, anyway?" "It was nice." "Apart from it being Trudy, it was nice." "What lovely long eyelashes you've got." "Was it a wine sauce?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I just let it simmer for a couple of hours in some white wine." "Why did you call it Trudy?" "No reason." "Apart from anything else, a Rolls Royce will last far longer." "It is a false economy to invest in cheap goods." "It's not cheap." "The Maserati's over 30,000 and it looks much nicer." "I can just see you getting four or five winter lambs and a box of mackerel into the back of a Maserati." "That's what you need your Rolls for." "Its space, there's adaptability." "Are you sure there are two L's in "dollar", Gideon?" "Yes." "And are there two Gs in "bugger off"?" "Andrew, can you knock it off for a bit?" "ANDREW:" "Okay." "Thanks." "STELLA:" "Coffee!" "Ta!" "Stella, are you busy?" "No, just fixing lunch." "Andrew!" "It's okay, you can start again now!" "(BANGING)" "Don't wave your arm so much." "I got six!" "I got a 1 0 before." "You didn't see it, but I did." "I think 1 0 is the maximum you can get before it sinks." "It's a scientific law." "But it's the size as well." "A middle kind of size seems to work the best, you know." "I think I'll check out the beach." "Want to come?" "No, you go ahead." "I'm going to hang around here and maybe catch Urquhart later." "Hey, I said it!" "Urquhart!" "Gordon Urquhart." "Gordon Urquhart." "Working hard?" "Fixing the creels." "Trying to keep the lobsters in and the crabs out." "What do you do with the lobsters?" "They catch a plane every night at Inverness." "Oh, aye, the next day they're being eaten in London or Paris." "Oh, aye, they see the world." "Don't you eat them?" "Oh, no." "Too expensive." "You work here as well as the bar?" "Oh, aye, we all muck in together." "Do any job that's needing done, eh?" "Oh, aye." "Have you only got one job?" "Yeah, just one." "How's the telephone box?" "Is it all right for you?" "It's fine, yeah." "Fine." "Gideon's going to give it a fresh coat of paint." "Great." "Any particular colour you'd like?" "Red's all right." "Red's fine." "Cord could be a little longer though." "In America cords are a bit longer." "(BABY CRYING)" "Whose baby?" "Come down!" "Come here, I want to talk to you!" "Baby coral." "You're Mr what's-his-name from Knox." "Danny." "We met in Aberdeen." "I remember." "Did you swim all the way?" "No, I stay here a lot." "This is my bay." "I'm working on a biological profile of the whole area." "Didn't Geddes tell you?" "Not in so many words." "I'm plotting everything, from the two headlands right inshore to the high-tide mark." "How's the water?" "Cold?" "Not as cold as it should be." "The North Atlantic Drift comes in here." "That's warmish water from the Caribbean." "That's why it's special here." "There's stuff fetching up here from the Bahamas." "That's a long way." "You swim?" "Not that far." "How are things in the village?" "Okay." "They're good people." "Let me know if I can help." "Good afternoon." "Hello." "I'd like some toothpaste, please." "Something with fluoride or ammonia." "And some shampoo." "Dry, normal or greasy?" "Normal." "Extra-normal." "That's normal." "It'll do your dandruff as well." "They've been smelling the money ever since you two got here." "They must be going crazy." "You know why we're here?" "Of course." "It's my project, isn't it?" "Your project?" "The Marine Laboratory, here." "I sent the proposal to Houston months ago." "You're here to check it out, right?" "Don't be coy." "Sure." "The Marine Laboratory." "I know it's only a public relations number for Knox just now." "The future's in here, you know." "Well, actually, I'm not really a very good swimmer myself, you know." "Hey, listen, when can I see you again?" "I'm always around." "I'll pop up and see you again soon." "(STAMMERING) Have you got enough air left to get you home?" "Sure." "Listen, take care, anyway." "See you!" "Have you got a telephone number or anything?" "(SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)" "(STELLA GIGGLING)" "No." "No?" "That's all it is." "No." "A little one over here?" "No." "You could paint that out and put this here." "No." "No, huh?" "No." "Well, we don't see the point." "Why don't you just ask him to make us an offer?" "It's not that simple." "We can't appear too eager." "We string him along and the price goes up." "Don't you see that?" "Aye, but what if he pulls out?" "It's too much of a gamble." "We think you should ask him what he has to offer right now." "Just a half pint for you, Iain?" "Aye, just a half pint." "And a whisky." "I told you I needed your trust and your patience." "Let me take the strain." "Relax." "Give me till the ceilidh, at least." "Twenty-four hours." "Okay, we'll talk at the ceilidh." "Nice to see you in here, Mr MacIntyre." "Mr Urquhart." "I want you to try something." "This is the MacAskill." "A pure malt whisky." "Forty-two years old." "Old enough to be out on his own." "(LAUGHS)" "Very true." "Slainte!" "Yeah." "I want to talk to you." "Good." "URQUHART:" "It's not a matter of buying off people's feelings." "It's not as crude as that." "It's more a way of taking feelings into account." "I agree." "We're talking massive disturbance, a way of life changing, resettlement, lives being restarted." "Sounds like a lot of money, the way you put it." "One way, it strikes me, might be a trust fund over and above a purchase price a way of letting the community feel involved in the place." "Say, a lump sum, plus a percentage of the profits over 1 0 or 20 years with some local trustees and some Knox ones." "I think we have to decide on a basic price first and then I'd know how I could accommodate the frills." "I'll get you a fixed price averaging over the whole area." "Good." "We have to be talking about millions." "Maybe." "What kind of millions do you reckon we're talking about?" "We'll have to talk about that." "Say, a target figure of maybe... 20 million." "For the trust?" "For the community, yes." "Pounds." "Dollars, maybe." "It's a nice evening, though." "Pretty." "Evening, Ben." "It's a pleasant night, Gordon." "This is MacIntyre." "He's staying with us for a time." "How do you do, Mr MacIntyre?" "I would offer you a cup of tea, but there's only the one other cup." "Hope you don't mind sharing." "Not in the least." "No sugar, though, please." "MacIntyre was asking me how much I thought the bay was worth, Ben." "That's a good..." "That's a good one right enough, Gordon!" "Do you know about the stars, Ben?" "Well, I know my way around this sky." "What about comets?" "Any around?" "Did you want to buy a comet as well?" "Maybe." "If you want to find a comet all you have to do is look long enough in the right place." "Where would you look?" "If I had the inclination, I would look in Leo but it seems like an awful lot of trouble just to find a comet." "What about Virgo?" "You never mentioned comets before, MacIntyre." "You're opening up a whole new area of negotiation." "We'll leave you in peace now, Ben." "We're having a ceilidh tomorrow, after Mac and I have tidied up some work." "You'll come?" "I'll be there, Gordon." "You can count on me." "Jesus, look." "Holy cow!" "Jesus!" "Calm down, Mac." "It's just a meteor shower." "(MOTORBIKE APPROACHING)" "(BANGING)" "Morning, Andrew." "Morning, Mr Mac." "I'll see you later, then." "(PHONE RINGING)" "IAIN:" "Mr MacIntyre!" "Telephone!" "It's a Mr Houston!" "MacIntyre, hello." "This is Happer." "How are things?" "Sir, they're fine." "The deal is about there." "What about the sky?" "The sky, sir, is amazing." "There seems to be a lot happening in it all the time." "Last night there was a meteor shower." "It was spectacular!" "Where was the shower, MacIntyre?" "It was in the sky." "They came down." "What part of the sky?" "I don't know exactly, sir but I'm told that comet-wise Leo might be worth a look." "Should I switch from Virgo?" "I'll have more time when we finalise the deal." "No, no." "Do both, MacIntyre." "Leo and Virgo." "Have you ever seen a meteor shower, sir?" "Oh, once or twice." "It's a sight worth seeing." "I know how you must feel." "Yes, Mr Happer." "I'll keep in touch." "Goodbye, sir." "MAN ON RADIO:" "Next week, Professor Douglas Wiley will be talking to us about his theory of the existence of another planet around the orbit of Pluto... (PHONE RINGING) ...based on his researches into interplanetary gravitational effect." "Until then, from Astronomy Tomorrow, we wish you a good night." "Yes?" "MAN 1 :" "Happer?" "Yes." "You're a shit, Happer, a useless piece of crap." "Have I told you that already today?" "Get off the phone, Moritz." "I don't need you any more." "You're not being paid." "Now leave me alone." "It worked again, Mr Happer." "This is doing more good than the formal sessions." "There are no sessions any more." "Now, leave me alone or I'll call the police." "This is harassment." "Asshole, Happer!" "You love it!" "Craphound!" "I'm still here, Happer!" "And you're still a useless mo..." "You seem to like this place." "I like the scenery." "MARINA:" "Grey seals." "OLDSEN:" "They look nice and friendly." "A salmon fisherman would shoot them on sight." "They steal his fish and ruin his nets." "And they know what they're doing." "They're rascals." "We're keeping an eye on them, though." "There's only 50,000 left in the Atlantic right now." "Sailors used to think they were mermaids, yeah?" "Aye, they did." "They were wrong." "MAN ON RADIO:" "General Store from Vulgar Boatman." "Channel 4 for QRK." "Come back, General Store." "Channel 4 for QRK." "Come back and copy." "General Store, planning a visit." "Picked up some modulations on your coming ceilidh." "You copy?" "Welcome to democracy, Boatman." "(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)" "Roddy!" "Roddy!" "Tell Gordon Urquhart the Russians are coming!" "(WOMAN SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN)" "Hello!" "Hello!" "(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)" "How are you all?" "(SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN)" "Good to see you, Victor." "Good to see you, Gordon!" "Watch the booze, Gordon." "Carry these." "Okay." "Silly bitch." "This is plum brandy for Stella." "The rest is the usual." "How are things?" "I heard about the ceilidh." "Oh, yeah." "We have lots to tell you." "We've been invaded by America." "We're all gonna be rich." "Really?" "We won't have anywhere to call home, but we'll be stinking rich." "Are there Americans here?" "Just one and a Scots kid." "They're on the beach somewhere." "They take a lot of long walks." "(DISTORTED BEEPING)" "(OLDSEN SPEAKING JAPANESE)" "It's Japanese." "Marina... (OLDSEN CONTINUES SPEAKING JAPANESE)" "(REPEATING JAPANESE)" "(SPEAKING JAPANESE)" "(REPEATING JAPANESE)" "You taste salty." "You're on the fresh side." "URQUHART:" "I've got some insurance policies for you to look at." "How do you make this thing add up?" "Mac." "Come and meet Victor Pinochkin." "Victor, this is Mac." "MacIntyre, Knox Oil and Gas, Houston." "Pinochkin, Soviet Fishing Fleet, Murmansk." "I'm here for the ceilidh." "We have been buying some fish in the Minch." "You are doing some business too, I believe?" "Yes." "I think I'll go upstairs and wash out these shells." "Hey, hey, hey!" "What have you got there?" "Is that a scallop shell?" "A very nice one." "This is a razor fish or razor clam." "They call them spoots around here." "You can eat them." "Catching them is a problem though." "They jet through the sand." "Strong little things." "I wouldn't want to eat them." "Why don't you come down for a drink later, Mac?" "Yeah." "I'll see you later." "See you." "URQUHART:" "I've left all of last year's money on short-term deposit." "It wasn't worthwhile moving it into stock." "I didn't know when you might need it." "Wouldn't it work harder on the money market?" "The amounts don't justify it, Victor." "Besides, the dollar is all over the place just now." "It'd be a full-time job just monitoring it." "Maybe I'm getting lazy." "No, I see what you mean." "You should think again about some property." "I'll be pretty liquid once this Knox thing goes through." "You could come in with me." "You know I am a cash man, Gordon." "I'll have to think about it." "Hey, that's a ribbed mussel." "Nice." "Yeah." "And this is a scallop." "A bay scallop, I would say, actually." "Yeah, yeah, and this is a razor shell." "So how's business, then?" "Do you need any help?" "No." "Urquhart's got all the powers of attorney." "We should have a draught agreement by tonight." "So we've swung it, then?" "It looks like it." "No opposition at all?" "They'll do all right." "We're not robbing anybody." "Do they know what's gonna happen to the place?" "They're going to be rich, that's all they know." "Do you think I could borrow your ribbed mussel, please?" "I want to show it to someone." "Bring it back?" "First thing tomorrow." "Okay." "Thank you." "Bye." "Hey!" "Yeah?" "Do you speak Russian?" "Yeah, that's one of mine." "You want my scallop, too?" "No, thanks." "The mussel will do." "Okay." "See you at the ceilidh, then." "Bye." "(BAND PLAYING SCOTTISH MUSIC)" "Please, come on!" "No, no." "Thanks very much." "Do you not want to dance with me?" "It's not that." "It's just that I've got a drink over..." "Come on." "Just enjoy yourself." "(ALL WHOOPING)" "(BAND PLAYING FAST-PACED MUSIC)" "If we call the useless land, the beach and the cliffs, a third of the price of the working land and the village we get the average price of 2,000 per acre." "That's your work." "Sounds fine." "Then I'm asking for a tiny, tiny five percent of revenue over 1 0 years on top of the 1 0 million at the start." "I can't say on the percentage." "But you can have the 1 0 million plus some form of participation to be mutually...etcetera, etcetera." "(PIANO PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)" "There's Victor's song." "# Guess that I was born to be a rover" "# Guess I've always been a rolling stone" "# But someday when my roving days are over" "# I will find a place to call my own" "# Cause even the lone stars they get lonesome" "# Lonesome as the lost ship on the sea" "# Even the lone stars they get lonesome" "# Lonesome for a lone star man like me #" "(SCOTTISH ACCENT) Give me a 42-year-old whisky, Roddy!" "We've none of that tonight, Mr Mac." "Well, give me four eight-year-olds and a 1 0-year-old." "All right, that adds up!" "# Yeah" "# Even the lone stars they get lonesome" "# Lonesome for a lone star man like me" "# Lonesome for a lone star man" "# Like me #" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Four generations of working that farm." "Digging and draining and planting." "Years and years and it comes to this." "Aye, strange times, Archie." "What was it Gordon Urquhart offered you?" "One-and-a-half million in cash plus two percent of the relocation fund and a share in the oil field revenue." "Aye, strange times, strange times." "(BAND PLAYING FAST MUSIC)" "(WOMAN WHOOPING)" "Come on, Mac, what do you say?" "What do I say what?" "Let's haggle." "Haggle?" "Dollars or pounds?" "The 2,000 per or the 1 0 million?" "Pounds." "Let's say pounds." "Come on, Mac, negotiate!" "Call it whatever you want, Gordon." "Pounds, yen, rubles." "You name it." "It was only £40 at Christmas." "But you were only charging two at the door at Christmas." "Inflation's going up all the time, you know." "It's your spiralling costs you're talking about." "Anyway, Alan's got a new guitar now." "We're a fiver short, Murdo." "Sorry, Gordon." "Thanks." "You'll still give us a hand with the waltz, will you?" "Oh, aye." "(BAND PLAYING SLOW MUSIC)" "(STELLA SIGHING)" "Come on, Mac, get your jacket off." "We're waltzing." "Come on." "It's James Stewart." "No, that's Humphrey Bogart." "Watch, watch." "Who's this?" "Who's this?" "Well, that would be James Stewart." "That's Cary Grant." "This time, this time." "Watch." "Humphrey Bogart." "No, that was James Stewart." "(INAUDIBLE)" "(INAUDIBLE)" "(ALL CLAPPING)" "What were you dancing with that prat for?" "What?" "I saw you chasing that guy all over the dance floor." "What's so special about him?" "He's different." "(SCOFFS)" "You're bloody right he's different!" "Cheer up." "You've made everybody very happy." "You are a success." "Cheers." "It's their place, Mac." "They have a right to make what they can of it." "You can't eat scenery." "Cheers!" "Yeah." "You speak a lot of sense for an oil man." "(FLUTE PLAYING SOFTLY)" "Is everyone celebrating?" "Almost everyone." "Well, when do I get the good news?" "Look, I want to talk to you about that." "There is a kind of alternative plan for the place." "Geddes at the lab is in on it." "He's got all the details." "What do you mean?" "It's a kind of oil thing or terminal or something." "No." "I don't see that happening here." "I don't see that at all." "Holy mackerel!" "What's happening?" "That's just the northern lights, aurora borealis." "High-energy protons spilling over into our atmosphere." "They get through the magnetic shield where it's weak, at the poles." "It's still beautiful." "I don't care what you call it." "How often does this happen?" "Any old time." "Although it's best when the sun's active." "That gets the solar wind up and that's where the protons come from." "You say the darnedest things, Marina." "I don't feel sick, I just feel a wee bit dizzy." "I'll put a bit of colour into your cheeks, darling!" "What's happening up there?" "That's the northern lights, Mac." "What the heck is that?" "It's pretty technical." "Nice, though, isn't it?" "Hey, everybody, I need tens!" "Gotta have tens." "I need tens." "RECEPTIONIST 1 :" "Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas." "RECEPTIONIST 2:" "Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas." "MRS WYATT ON PHONE:" "Mr MacIntyre in Scotland, Mr Happer." "Should I transfer him to Mr Fountain?" "No, let me have him." "Yes, sir." "Happer here, MacIntyre." "I'm watching the sky, sir!" "It's doing some amazing things." "It's got everything." "Reds, greens, a kind of shimmering." "And there's a noise, too, like a far-off thunder, only it's softer." "I wish you could see it." "I wish I could describe it to you just like I'm seeing it." "Be more specific, MacIntyre." "You're my eyes and ears there." "Give me details." "Sir!" "I'll give you the colours first, sir." "It's white and green and red." "I'm sorry, that's the phone box." "Oh, it's blue!" "It's just blue." "It's like a shower of colour!" "Tell him it's the aurora borealis." "I have some more information, sir." "It's the aurora borealis." "But it's beautiful!" "You're a lucky man, MacIntyre." "I haven't seen the aurora since '53 in Alaska." "I haven't seen a comet yet, sir." "I don't know if I'd spot one in all this other stuff." "Moritz, you idiot!" "A nice old man was saying that meteors are always a good sign of a comet." "And that stuff we saw coming from Leo the other night may just be an indication of what might be happening in the future with regard to the comets, of course." "I will probably just keep an eye..." "Moritz, you idiot!" "Get off this building!" "I'll have you certified!" "...happening in the sky." "As you suggested, I'll watch Virgo as well." "And I'll let you know if anything..." "God!" "It just went red all over!" "(PHONE BEEPING)" "It's red all over!" "(DIALLING TONE)" "Mrs Wyatt, I'm leaving the office." "Yes, sir." "And Mrs Wyatt, there's a maniac outside the building." "You'd better call the police department." "Get some marksmen." "Shoot him off." "Shoot to kill." "(SIRENS APPROACHING)" "Pardon me." "(ACCORDION PLAYING SLOW MUSIC)" "Oh, Gordon..." "Oh, Gordon... (SIGHS)" "Well, Edward," "I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight." "Aye." "But Peter," "I thought all this money would make me feel... different." "What do you mean?" "Well, all it's done is make me feel depressed." "I don't feel any different." "Well, Edward, you'll just need to buck up." "You need to accept the fact you're stinking rich." "Nobody ever said that it was going to be easy to be a millionaire, Ed." "I have a proposition for you, Gordon." "I know I may be a bit tipsy but I want you to consider this seriously, okay?" "Okay." "Okay." "I want to swap with you." "Everything." "I want to stay here." "Run the hotel, do little bits of business." "You can go to Houston, take the Porsche, the house, the job." "It's a good life there, Gordon." "I pull down 80,000 a year." "Plus I have over 50,000 in mixed securities." "I want you to have it all." "(BEER SPLATTERING)" "There's nothing due on the car, it's pure ownership." "And I won't let down your good name here, Gordon." "I'll make a good Gordon, Gordon." "What do you say, pal?" "What about Stella?" "I was coming to that." "I love her." "Very, very much." "She's wonderful." "She's the most beautiful woman I've ever loved and I think she knows it." "I want you to leave Stella here with me, Gordon." "Would you do that?" "Would you leave Stella here with me?" "Sure, Mac." "You're a good guy, Gordon." "MAC:" "Do you drive a car, Victor?" "VICTOR:" "Yes." "I share a Volvo 1 44 Estate with my brother-in-law." "I drive a Porsche 930." "What's the insurance like on a Porsche?" "Very heavy." "But I get a deal through Knox Insurance." "You got hi-fi?" "Quad and video." "I've got quad outfit, too." "Picked it up in Japan." "Here's my address in Houston, Victor." "If you ever get to the States, give me a call." "Thank you very much." "Let me give you my address in Murmansk, too, Mac." "I'm not there a lot but... you never know." "Here's my card." "How come you're here?" "Fishing." "I have been coming here for years." "(EXPLOSION)" "I like it here but it is tough life for the locals." "You should be proud of yourself, making them millionaires." "I don't know." "(PLANE WHOOSHING)" "(EXPLOSION)" "Breakfast ready, Gordon?" "We've a problem." "What?" "The beach." "Ben's beach." "What's the problem?" "The problem is, it really is Ben's beach." "(PHONE RINGING)" "He owns the shoreline, four miles of it, from the grass down to the low-tide mark." "I found it in the parish records when I was checking out title deeds." "Can he prove it?" "We can't steal the beach from him, Victor." "It's his." "You'll have to buy it from him." "It's not in my budget." "I thought the shore properties covered the beach." "I didn't make allowances for this." "Work out a price, Gordon, juggle the figures, steal something from the trust fund." "Something." "Does he know he owns it?" "I thought we could just relocate him, but this is different." "Can't you stick in some more money, Mac?" "It's a new property, after all." "Mr Mac." "That was a telephone call from America." "There's a Mr Happer coming to see you here." "Happer?" "Yes." "H-A-P-P..." "P-E-R." "They spelt it for me." "Oh, Jesus!" "One million sterling, Gordon, and not a penny more." "Then you're on your own." "That includes the cliffs and the rocks." "Small rocks as well." "Okay, Mac, I've got the message." "Where's the door here?" "There is no door." "Just bang on the window." "Jesus!" "How do you do business with someone who doesn't have a door?" "The ethics are just the same." "Ben, could I have a word with you?" "Ben, hello." "We wanted to talk to you." "You know MacIntyre." "Hi, Mr MacIntyre." "This is Victor Pinochkin." "This is Ben Knox." "How do you do, Mr Victor?" "How do you do?" "Your name is Knox?" "My name's Knox, yes." "Can we come in, or will you come out?" "I'll tell you what." "I'll just get the fire started." "This is your beach, isn't it, Ben?" "Oh, yes." "It's been in the family for, what, 400 years." "Aye, the Lord of the Isles gave it to an ancestor of mine." "He helped him out with a spot of trouble." "Killed his brother for him, something like that." "You have a deed or anything?" "Papers?" "It's in the museum in Edinburgh." "It's a historical document." "Mac." "Sure, sure." "Ben, what we wanted to ask you..." "Have you ever thought about moving?" "No." "No?" "No." "MacIntyre represents some people who think they have a use for the beach." "They want to pay you for using it." "Money?" "A lot of money." "£1 00,000." "You see, the thing is, I'm still working the place myself." "It's my living." "It supports me." "You'd have lots of money." "You wouldn't have to work." "We all have to work, Gordon." "I mean, the beach has to be worked." "Think of the state the place would get into." "(CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)" "Gordon, can this music be turned off?" "Oh, yeah." "Don't you like this?" "No." "You mean you never liked it?" "No." "Even when you first came here, you didn't like this?" "No." "Oh." "Half a million pounds is a lot of money, Ben." "Even enough to buy another beach with." "Look, I've got some postcards." "I've got some very fine beaches here." "I want to make you an offer." "How about this?" "Any beach that takes your fancy, anywhere in the world, I'll get for you." "Look at this, Hawaii." "I can get you five or six miles of Hawaii, no problem." "Or, look here, Australia." "Look at that sand." "Yes, I mean, they look like very nice beaches, Mr MacIntyre, but... see, I only need the one." "I have this here." "I don't need another one." "Besides, I'm not sure that there's a living in any of these beaches." "You've got to go into that kind of thing in detail." "I'll buy you any beach you want and I'll give you £750,000 to set yourself up with." "It'll give you some security in the early stages." "What do you say?" "You're great at talking the big numbers, Mr MacIntyre." "Say, look, you're good at numbers, eh?" "It's part of my job, yes." "Would you give me a pound note for every grain of sand I hold in my hand?" "Now, you can have the beach for that." "Saved you a pound or two, eh?" "Come on, I don't want to play games." "Let's negotiate in a businesslike way." "Oh, dear, oh, dear, I mean... (SCOFFS) You could have had a very nice purchase there, Mr MacIntyre." "I can't hold much more than 1 0,000 grains of sand in my hand at a time." "Did you think it would be a bigger number?" "You took advantage of me, Ben." "Did I?" "How about a hatful of sand?" "Ah, no, no." "I mean, that wouldn't be businesslike." "(BEN GIGGLES)" "(BEN SIGHS)" "Danny, get the wine glasses without the stems, will you?" "Sure." "Now, would anybody like some more potatoes?" "No, thank you." "No." "Yes, please." "Some roast, if you have them." "Sure thing, Mr Knox." "And a couple more sprouts." "Anything." "Is he going to sell?" "He wants some more sprouts." "Here, let's have a look." "Want to buy a house, Andrew?" "I'm trying to sell one, Edward." "Good night, Ben." "Gordon, good night." "I've enjoyed myself." "Good." "Mr..." "Good night." "URQUHART:" "Can we have a word with you, Ben?" "Let's walk him home." "What if I told you that 400, 500 people could make a living right here if things were allowed to change?" "It wouldn't be the first time, would it?" "What do you mean?" "Local history, Gordon." "This beach used to be a good living for 300 people." "They gathered the seaweed and extracted the chemicals." "Big business." "Two hundred years ago, this beach was turning over" "£1 5,000 a year." "Then the trade routes opened up again to the east and so, "Farewell, Ferness."" "The business went, but the beach is still here." "If you got the place, it would be goodbye beach forever, wouldn't it?" "Have an orange, Gordon." "I found a box on Tuesday on the rocks." "Thanks." "I found a coconut once." "God knows where that came from." "What's the most amazing thing you ever found?" "Impossible to say." "See, there's something amazing every two or three weeks." "I'll let you know the next time." "Good night." "Shit, this is South African." "Maybe we ought to stick around, huh?" "No, he'll be all right." "Uh-oh." "They've taken the church road." "Maybe they just want to talk to him." "You think that's all they'll do?" "Sure." "They just want to talk to him." "There's an awful lot of them." "Yeah." "I'm travelling light, MacIntyre." "One bag in the luggage compartment." "Say, you didn't need to put on this reception." "This is just an informal visit." "But now that I'm here," "I think I'd like to organise a presentation." "Something these people might need." "A church hall, a piano, or anything." "I'd like to make it a personal gift." "You're can let me know about it tomorrow, hmm?" "How about the sky, MacIntyre?" "Anything new?" "Well, we'll talk about it later." "Thanks for the call." "(STUTTERING) I'm not MacIntyre, sir." "Well, where the hell is he?" "I've been on the move for 24 hours." "I'm not playing games." "Are you MacIntyre?" "Yes, sir." "Get me a room." "Yes, sir." "This is Gordon Urquhart, hotel..." "Hotel." "This way, sir." "Get the luggage, Danny." "(MAC SIGHING)" "Good sky you've got here, MacIntyre." "Well done." "One or two unfamiliar objects to look at up there." "I like this place." "The air is good, clear." "Get me a telescope." "Tomorrow." "Two-inch refractor will do." "Hear that?" "I want a two-inch refractor for tomorrow." "Ben's got a telescope." "It's bigger than two inches, though." "About this wide, this long." "Jesus!" "Ben's got this whole place sewn up." "Come on, Danny, carry that stuff." "I'll offer him the piano, if he's the problem." "We've tried most things, sir." "Did you try a piano?" "No, we offered him a million and a half dollars." "I don't know if he plays the piano." "And he owns the whole beach, hmm?" "Yes, sir." "It's been in the Knox family for 400 years." "(MAC CLEARS THROAT)" "Knox?" "Ben Knox." "I'm sorry, sir." "It's his name." "Perhaps I'd better talk to him." "What's he like?" "He's kind of eccentric, roams the beach, has an interest in the stars, too." "In fact, he has a telescope." "About this big." "He knows the sky like the back of his hands." "I'll talk to him." "He has this trick he does with sand, sir." "So if he offers you anything to do with sand, say yes and we'll get him to sign something right away." "Did you say sand?" "Yes, sir." "Anything up to half a bucketful, say yes." "He wants to sell me the sand?" "No, sir." "You'll get the drift if he does it." "Well, don't worry about it, MacIntyre." "I've got a plan." "I'm going to offer him a telescope." "A great big one!" "Yeah." "Well, good luck, sir." "Ben, it's Mac again." "Good morning to you, Mr Mac." "Ben, this is Mr Happer." "He'd like to talk with you." "Delighted to meet you, sir." "Mr Happer is from America, like me." "America, eh?" "Mm-hm." "Well, then, Mr..." "Happer, Happer." "Happer, Happer, is it?" "You'd better come in, if you've come that far." "Well, thank you, sir." "Oh." "That'll be all for now, MacIntyre." "Yes, sir." "See if they're still laughing." "What happened?" "Well, they want some whisky and Ben wants some beef sandwiches with mustard and no salt." "Did Happer say anything?" "He doesn't want any mustard at all." "He just wants the salt." "Nothing else happened?" "I asked them if they wanted water for the whisky..." "Okay." "Okay." "Stay cool, Mac." "It's a good sign." "I'll get the food." "Bring some brandy back with you, Gordon." "I'm dying." "(BEN AND HAPPER LAUGHING)" "(BABY CRYING)" "Well, slainte, everybody." "What?" "What?" "Slainte?" "Na zdorovje!" "Skol." "ALL:" "Cheers." "(BEN AND HAPPER LAUGHING)" "Jesus, what's going on in there?" "Sounds like they are buddies." "Any news about the money, Gordon?" "Not yet, Edward." "Here, have another brandy." "EDWARD:" "Thanks." "OLDSEN:" "Hey, look!" "See you tonight." "Tonight." "Hello, MacIntyre." "How did it go, sir?" "Fine, fine." "This place has a lot to offer." "But I think the refinery site was a mistake." "Ben's been filling me in." "Ben has eight unplotted objects in this very sky right above us." "Think of that." "We're doing a scan tonight." "The acquisition is at a pretty advanced stage, sir." "Oh, I want this place, MacIntyre." "Make no mistake about that." "But tell Crabbe to start rethinking the refinery site when you see him, tomorrow." "I see a kind of..." "a kind of an institute here, a place for research, and for study." "An observatory, so to speak, with radio and optical telescopes." "And after a while, we can branch out." "The sea, sir!" "This is a natural place for a marine laboratory." "We've already prepared some data at the Aberdeen Lab." "The North Atlantic Drift, it comes right in here and fetches up all sorts of interesting things from all over the world." "Sea and sky." "Hmm..." "I like that, I like that." "We can do good things here." "You could call it the Happer Institute, sir." "You might be right." "It might be just the name for it." "It says it all." "Good thinking." "Good thinking..." "Oldsen, sir." "Oldsen, we've got a job to do." "You stay here with me." "MacIntyre, Crabbe is gonna need you right away." "Take the chopper, go to Aberdeen and get on over to Houston." "Tell Crabbe to start thinking along the lines of..." "Well, of an offshore establishment, but just for storage." "And tell him to put the refinery nearer the models." "Tonight, sir?" "The sooner the better." "And MacIntyre, get yourself a shave." "What's this laboratory thing, Danny?" "You didn't tell me about that." "It's something I've been piecing together recently." "Some of Geddes's people are in on it." "You remember the girl?" "Oh, yeah, the girl." "MacIntyre, you'd better get moving." "I'm glad I got here in time to stop your refinery caper." "Oldsen, get my overcoat and prepare some food for later." "Ben and I will be full-time on the telescope tonight." "Yes, Mr Happer." "Oldsen, I could grow to love this place." "You don't really have to pay, Mac." "I could stick it on the Knox tab." "Anyway, it's been fun having you." "No, I'll pay." "I want to." "Okay." "And make it out to Stella B Urquhart." "Stella?" "She's the boss." "This is an American bank account, Gordon." "It might not be valid here." "Don't worry, we'll stick it on the wall for a souvenir." "I hope things work out with Happer." "We can handle him." "It's always the same." "The big boys want the playground all to themselves." "At least there'll be work around the place, and money." "Yeah." "Work and money." "It'll be okay." "(SIGHING) Well, so long." "You should say goodbye to Stella." "She's upstairs." "No, it doesn't matter." "Go and see her, Mac." "You say toodle-oo for me, Gordon." "And toodle-oo to you too." "I'll see you off." "Marina!" "Marina?" "Marina!" "It's the plans!" "The lab, it's going to happen!" "I told them all about it!" "The marine laboratory, it's going to happen!" "Hey, Mr Mac!" "Hey!" "Can I..." "Can I get your autograph, please?" "(HELICOPTER ENGINE REVVING)" "Ta!" "Good luck!" "Hold on, Marina!" "I want to talk to you!" "ALL:" "Goodbye!" "Is that the Yank in that thing, Edward?" "Aye, Peter, that's him away." "Bugger it!" "I meant to say cheerio." "MAN ON RADIO:" "Scottish one-two-four decimal niner, call approach, out." "Bravo romeo, roger." "QSY one-two-zero decimal four." "(SIGHING)" "(POLICE SIREN WAILING)" "(CAR HORNS HONKING)" "(PHONE RINGING)"