"I had everything in my kingdom." "Everything a person needs to be happy:" "Good food," "sex," "24 hours of pure entertainment on 250 channels from all over the world." "It was perfect." "So where did it all go wrong?" "Even now, when I try to piece together my strange story," "I can't reach any conclusion." "One thing I do know, at some point the perfect world I created started to fall apart." "I had everything in my kingdom." "Everything a person needs to be happy." "Perfect." "Yes?" "Hello and good morning, My name is Daniela and I am from the 'people-meter"Inc." "I wanted to congratulate you." "You were chosen for our special panel." "No thanks." "I'm not interested." "In 'people-meter" we offer you a modest gift and extra benefits for every panel-member." "Have a great day." "Come inside." "Where were you, you stupid cat?" "Huh, Albie?" "Albie, Albie!" "Grumps." "He's The kind of real estate agent that's going extinct." "To me he always looked like a butler who just walked out of a BBC soap opera." "Listen, Ziss'leh (kid)" "Check out the penguins." "Forget the penguins." "What's with the penguins?" "In soap operas, the longer it takes a character to turn around, the more dramatic the announcement will be." "And here comes the turn-around." "Ziss'leh, you have to leave the apartment." "The landlord has decided to sell the property." "I'll give you two months, you don't have to leave tomorrow." "Tomorrow I'm starting to show people the apartment, and don't try any of your tricks on me." "Have a nice day, Mr. Grumps." "Listen," "I'm not a bad guy." "If you want another month, a little more time, no problem, but you have to leave." "Mr. Weinblum?" "I'm Daniela from 'People Meter.' We spoke..." " I'm not Mr. Weinblum." "Weinblum is the landlord." "He's overseas." "I live here." "Fuck..." "Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm such an idiot." "Can I have a glass of water?" "Thanks." "So... you're looking for Mr. Weinblum." "I'm not Weinblum." "Can I stay for a while?" "This idiocy relaxes me." "She's kind of pretty." "She reminds me of the girl from "Diff'rent Strokes"." "But I know what you find when you get closer:" "Flaws." "They're always there." "This is how I learned Spanish, from the TV." "When I got there, the only thing I knew how to say was:" ""Don't you dare steal my man, puta."" "When you got where?" "All South America, I think." "It's an amazing continent." "Have you been there?" " No." "I haven't flown anywhere in a long time." "How long is a long time?" "A long, long time." "I would go crazy." "That Luciana is such a nut." "I can be Weinblum, if you like." "Como?" "I'll be Weinblum." "You'll be Mr. Weinblum for me?" "Right, and no one has to know." "I'll fill out the forms," "I know exactly what they want to hear." "Don't forget your shoes." "You're already kicking me out?" "I just wanted to go to the bathroom." "Not that one!" "The other one." "So," "Do you live here alone?" "What do you do?" "I thought you could fill out the form by yourself." "Okay..." "Sorry I asked." "I'm a programmer." "I work from home." "This will be our little secret." "Thank you for inviting me to a one-on-one erotic chat." "Your credit card will be charged by the minute." "Hi." "How are you?" "You're sweet." " I'm good." "I've wanted to talk to you for a long time." "So?" "Why didn't you?" "I guess I'm shy." "You're very pretty, Jessica." " Thanks." "But I'm just drawn that way." "So, what can I do for you?" "Can we just talk for a while?" " Sure." "How old are you?" "I'm 18 and a day." "What is that tattoo?" " This?" "It's a bird." "What do you think of when you're getting off?" "Well..." "I think about clouds and..." "Christmas trees and..." "chocolate fudge, and the paycheck at the end of my shift." "You know..." "Sometimes you look kind of sad in that room." "Sometimes..." "Hey, here's a big smile for you." "So..." "What do you want me to do for you?" "Do you want me to lick..." " Let's save it for next time." "Okay?" "You'll be here for me, right?" "You're so romantic." "Yup." "I'm not going anywhere." "Me neither." "Good night, sweetie." " Good night." "Go away, Grumps, or I'II..." " Okay, okay, I heard you." "Hold this." "Nobody threatens me." "Don't even think about it." "Listen, Grumps, I've been thinking..." "Yedidya, my name is Yedidya." "I called Venezuela." "I talked to the landlord about you." "He lives in Caracas, do you know he's a lawyer?" "Grumps, I..." "Yedidya." "I can't leave this apartment." "Smile." "Please, come in." "Hello." "Come in, come in." "Make yourselves at home." "Well?" "Where's the garden?" "Eitan." " Outside." "What is this?" "Didn't you say there are four rooms?" "Are you the tenant?" " There's a hallway." "A hallway isn't a room." "The torture is almost over." "You definitely told me four rooms over the phone." "There's also the garden." " But the way out is so small." "What torture?" " Do you think we can expand it?" "The plumbing is old, the pipes are rotten, it's full of roaches." "Roaches?" "He's lying, ma'am." "Sir, there are no roaches." "He's just saying that." "He doesn't want to leave." "I didn't say anything." " He doesn't want to leave, that's all." "It's a real beauty." "A winner." "The apartment is fine, really." " What's in here?" "Everything is fine, except that awful story with the boy!" "A few years ago there was a murder here." "A boy." "Eight years old or so." "Right where you're standing." "Sometimes, late at night," "I see dead people." "Oh, come on." "Stop it." "I don't know." "Actually, I see some potential." "Don't you think so, honey?" "With the right renovation, we can turn it into a real gem." "They don't build like this anymore." "We can break down this wall, right?" "You can break it all down." " I don't know, there's a lot we can do with this apartment." "If we open this wall, we'll have a lot more light, and we'll also have room for your equipment." "I'm a miserable little boy." "Leave this house alone." "The house is cursed." "The old man is a warlock." "Curse you." "Get out of my house." "Go away, you accursed people." "Go away." "Go away..." " Shall we go?" " Yes." "This is my little home." " Don't go, he's just kidding." "I poured out my blood to make this this my graveyard." " Sir, ma'am..." "Go away..." "Coward." "The crazy old man doesn't know what he's talking about." "In order to build a new world, you have to give up the old one first." "And I gave it up." "I let my old life peel off and fall away." "I cut back the unnecessary." "I got rid of the superfluous." "I left behind the whole damned party." "In one moment" "Something knocked at the door" "And I opened..." "The doctors called it an anxiety attack." "I called it a revelation." "My little phobia, led me to idilia." "In a war, when the enemy leaves behind important information, you have to study it carefully." "Mr. Weinblum?" " What?" "Mr. Weinblum, I'm happy to inform you that you have been accepted to People Meter's representative panel." "A technician will be coming to your home to install the meter." "Daniela?" "We offer a modest gift to everyone on our representatives panel." "And of course you will have access to every channel at no cost." "That's it, he's gone." "Do you want to meet later?" "We could go out for a drink." "I can't." "Okay." "I mean, uh, I have a lot of things to do today." "So, tomorrow?" " Okay." "Why don't you come over?" " Okay." "Fine, Weinblum." "So tomorrow at around four or five?" "Cool." " Good." "Bye then." "Bye." "People Meter thanks you for your cooperation and wishes you a wonderful day." "Bye." "Daniela connected me to a new world." "From now on, every time I press the remote" "I make a difference." "I was crowned as the undisputed king of the couch potatoes." "So much power." "So much responsibility." "I enjoyed every second." "Arriba, abajo, al centro, al dentro." "Cheers." "It's beautiful." "I didn't know you had a garden here." "It's so quiet here." "What are these yellow flowers called?" "I don't know." "And the red ones?" " I don't know, they grew by themselves." "Hey, you have a cat." "What's her name?" "It's a he." "His name is Albert." "Albert." "Albilbul." "Yuck, you filthy thing." "What do you have there?" "Yuck..." "Albert." "Albert, come to Daniela." "Come." "Albilbul." "I'm such a cutie-pie." "I'm such a kitty-cat." "Do you mind turning off the TV?" "Wait a second, the future of the world is in danger." "You know, my coach at the assertiveness workshop" "told me to follow my feelings." "That's nice." "Wow, you're really skinny." "You should work out a little." "You're in the way." "Aren't I pretty enough for you?" "Don't you want to fuck me?" "Stop it!" "I..." "I'm not into sex in couples." "What?" "What do you mean, "sex in couples"?" "You know, the usual format, man-woman, in-and-out." "That crap isn't for me." "What other format is there?" "You'd rather jerk off than fuck?" " Yes." "I don't want to compromise anymore." "I don't need three-dimensional girls." "How do I always end up with losers like you?" "Sorry." "I'm sorry." "I..." "Leave me alone!" "Where's my purse?" " Wait a second, Daniela..." "I'm such a fool." "How didn't I see it coming?" "The frozen poses." "The rooms." "The skeletons just waiting to come out of the closet." "It isn't what I saw in the pictures." "It's what I didn't see." "And nobody smiled." "Nobody." "I've been knocking for an hour." "What's with you?" "Why are you watching that crap, you little shit?" "Today is Holocaust Day!" "Yes, Grumps." "I came here because even a loony like you couldn't refuse my offer." "It's, how do you youngsters put it?" "The bomb!" "It's the bomb!" "It even has parking." "How do you turn off this noise?" " How's the air-flow?" "All four directions." "It's a special deal, just for me." "Because I want to resolve our relationship on a good note." "Well, what do you say?" "Uh, no." "Do you think you can beat me?" "The Nazis couldn't beat me, and you think you can?" "I walked across Siberia, on foot, in the snow." "In the Ukraine I boxed against the gentiles." "You won't leave an apartment." "I didn't leave a piss-hole in a Polish farmer's yard for three years." "The Nazis, may they rot in hell, were on top of me and I was in the hole." "Like a rat." "For three years." "Anne Frank." "Anne Frank has nothing on me." "She wouldn't have survived a month there, the spoiled brat." "She and her family lived like kings." "An attic, windows, planters, all the amenities." "They made her apartment into a museum in Amsterdam." "But me..." "Nobody visits my piss-hole." "Here, have a drink." "Grumps." "Why is Weinblum so eager to get rid of me?" "He wants to sell the property." "Tell him I saw the pictures." "What pictures?" "Where is Weinblum's family, eh?" "Where is his wife?" "Where are his kids?" "You're making a big mistake." "I'm not leaving this apartment." "You don't know who you're messing with." "Tonight, on "True Crimes", the horrible story of the Weinblum family, an honorable family man who likes to dress in women's clothing, caught by his devoted wife." "At first he tries to calm her, but she's hysterical, threatening to reveal his secret." "Weinblum cannot afford such a scandal and decides to end his poor wife's life." "But then, when he looks up, he realizes that someone is watching." "Oh, dear Lord, it's the children." "Not the children." "Listen, this isn't a social visit." "We had an agreement, remember?" "You're supposed to be a lawyer, an educated man with a family of four." " That's right." " So what is this?" "A whole week watching some god-forsaken Turkish channel, then 15 minutes of zapping around, then it's the Shopping Channel for another five hours." "What kind of lawyer watches that?" "And you never turn it off." "That's it, I have to disconnect you." " What?" "No, no, no." "I'll be a good boy." "Here, it's all right." "I'll tell them you changed your mind." " Don't disconnect me." "You know, I can stand for all your rap." "Really, in a way it's... it's even appealing." "But what I won't stand for is... is a cold heart." "I like your hairdo." "Are you trying to flatter me, Weinblum?" "Yes." "Do you know what we need?" "To clear the energies between us." "Music, alcohol, people." "A real date." "What do you say?" " Sure." "How about Thursday?" "Thursday, sure." " Then it's a date." " It's a date." "Good." " For sure." " For sure." "Be a good boy with the TV." "Weinblum." "Thank you for inviting me to a one-on-one erotic chat." "Your credit card will be charged by the minute." "Hey!" "Baby, I missed you." "How was your day?" "Hey." "Shy guy." "Is everything okay?" "Do you ever..." "Do you ever get lonely over there?" "I'm never really alone." "I've got tons of friends." "Yeah, I can see." "82 close friends are jerking off in front of you right now." "Now why are you being mean, baby?" "Don't take it so bad, you're not real." "Silly, of course I'm real." "I can see you on my screen, but it doesn't mean you're real." "You're lonely, baby." " No, I'm not." " Yeah, you are." "When you've been alone for too long, nothing feels real anymore." "You need other people around you to make you feel like the world exists." "It doesn't matter what you think." "You're not real." " What are you talking about?" "I'm right here." "We're talking, right?" "When I press "escape"" "you disappear into your pathetic imaginary existence." "I want you to admit you don't exist." "Do it." " But baby..." " Do it." "Do it!" "But why?" " Say you don't exist." "I don't exist." "Again." "I don't exist." " Again." "I don't exist." " Again." "I don't exist." " Again, Jessica." " I don't exist." "Again." " I don't exist." "Again, Jessica." " I don't exist." " Again." " I don't exist." " Again." "I don't exist." "I don't exist!" "I don't exist!" "I don't exist!" "Daniela." "I just came to tell you that you're a piece of shit, a jerk, an asshole." "It's nothing, Daniela." "I even wore high heels for you." " It's nothing." "It's nothing, it's just a movie." "Leave me alone." "Daniela!" "I can't get out." "Ever?" "Ever." "I don't want to, either." "What do you mean, you don't want to?" "I don't want to." "Why not?" "Outside, there's..." "There's too much of everything." "Too much of the world makes me nauseous." "Don't you miss it?" "No." " Don't you miss being outside?" "No." "Going to the beach, the sun, the sunset." "I can see the sunset from my garden." "And anyway... it only looks good in the movies." "In reality it's either too cold or too hot or you step in dog-doo." "Man, you're crazy." "I don't mind." "I don't mind the fact that you're screwed up." "What I do mind is..." "A cold heart." "Yes." "Fine." "We'll do it your way." "Close your eyes and take a deep breath." "We're going for a walk." "Is this something else you learned at some course?" "Listen, it's great." "You can go anywhere by doing this." "Close your eyes already." "We're in an ancient forest, a hundred years old." "The sunlight is peeping through the trees." "There are lots of colorful butterflies all around." "Absolute silence." "The forest floor is covered with leaves and a gentle, gentle breeze caresses us." "We hold hands and walk among the trees." "All the flowers open up for us as we walk by." "Can you see it?" " Yes." "I can see it." "We keep walking and come to a bench." "An old bench." "Engraved all over with the hearts and arrows of lovers." "You sit down and listen to the silence." "And what happens then?" "Did you forget how this feels?" "Hey." "Hey." "You're with me now." "It's just you and me now." "Forget about her." "Forget about her." "Promise." "I promise." "I'm coming." "Wait, wait, hold on." "Hold on." "What happened to the electricity?" "This isn't the work of a professional." "Just some idiot with a big hammer." "Do you know who could have done this?" "Listen to me, Super Mario." "Are you an electrician or a detective?" "Relax." "I'm just curious." "Well, I don't have the parts I need." "I'll come back tomorrow." "No electricity." "No computer." "No TV." "Grumps thought he could break me." "But I didn't need anything." "I had Daniela." "Have a good day, honey." "I'll see you tonight." "Albert." "Albilbul." "I decided that this time, just for Daniela," "I would do the right thing." "I won't give in to temptation." "I won't even think about it." "I promised her." "I will sit here and wait for her..." "Until she comes back." "Hola, Senor Weinblum." "I promised you a modest gift, didn't I?" "I blew my diet again because of you." "I'm going to end up with my mother's butt." "Me like..." "Do you want some?" "Try it, it has a surprise - and chocolate too." "What a TV kid you are, my god." "Kid?" "Where are your parents?" "I don't have a father." "He died when I was small." "And your mother?" "When I was little, my mother and I used to watch TV." "And she would translate what the actors said in English." "I liked that." "And then she just... suddenly... started to cut herself off." "From the world." "She'd just sit there and stare at the TV with dead eyes." "We'd sit there for days at a time and watch TV." "A boy and his mother, staring at the TV." "I screamed." "I cried." "I broke things." "I pulled her hair, I hit her." "Nothing." "She didn't move." "Then who raised you?" "Bill Cosby." "Yummy." "What do you want to do today?" "I think I feel like staying home today." "Weinblum, I thought you weren't into three-dimensionality." "When did you think that?" "Go take a shower first." "You stink." "Go already." "Weinblum..." "Albert." "Albert." "Albilbul." "Albert." "Shy guy..." "Are you there?" "Who are you?" "Grumps, you son of a bitch." "You're his girlfriend?" "Well, let me tell you something about your little boyfriend." "Alright?" "We see each other every day." "He's crazy about me." "What are you looking at me for?" "Get the fuck out of here, he's mine!" "Go." "Daniela," "I'm clean." "Daniela?" "Jessica?" "What did you do?" "Nothing." "I just had a small talk with your girlfriend." "And what do you know?" "It looks like I do exist after all." "I exist!" "I exist, you sick fuck!" "Grumps!" "Grumps!" "You little shit." "Grumps, you son of a bitch!" "Well," "Wise ass..." "What do you have to say now?" "Why the garden, Grumps?" "Why the garden?" "It's the landlord's garden." "I'm going to kill you." "I swear, Grumps," "I'm going to kill you." "Yes, yes, yes, yes." "Now you listen to me." "One day the Polish farmer stopped bringing me food," "I sat there in the dark, waiting in the hole." "I don't give a shit about your Holocaust, I saw Schindler's List!" "I was very hungry." "Weak." "But I didn't care anymore." "Let them kill me." " I loved this garden." "In the end I went home." "Mama..." "Mama," "I'm here." "I'm alive." "It was quiet, cold, like a grave." "The really terrible things were happening outside." "I didn't know." "Why are you doing this to me?" "I'm doing you a big favor." "Believe me." "Go outside." "Get out before it gets worse." "From here, there was no turning back." "I'm a Jedi knight who went over to the Dark Side." "90 cans of Alaska Canned Corn... 40 six-packs of Aqua Nova," "20 sacks of Odor-Lockers..." "20 jerricans of kerosene." "Ten crates of Jump..." "Two gas balloons, eight rolls of masking tape, a sledgehammer." "I want to order a 2,000-watt generator," "Do you have wires?" "30 batteries, five rolls of rope, three lighters, 14 boxes of matches," "And one "Hattori Hanzo" soard." "I've finished fortifying my kingdom." "I'm ready for the attack." "Hello, have I reached the German War Reparations Department?" "Hello, this is Yedidya Lipcher's grandson." "I want to close my grandfather's account." "Thank you, he was a wonderful man." "I don't want to pay for electricity anymore." "Yes, disconnect me." "Yes, my grandfather was a great man, may he rest in peace." "Yes, but what a waste, the checks keep coming." "I don't want you to pay for no reason." "Albert." "Albie." "Albert, where are you?" "Albert?" "Daniela," "Albert disappeared." "I can't help you." "It's over between us." "Please come here." " What for?" "I love you." ""I love you..."" "That sounds like something you heard on TV." "I feel sorry for you, but I can't help you." "Stop calling me." "Daniela..." "Albert is gone," "Daniela is gone." "Maybe Jessica was right after all." "When you're alone for too long, nothing seems real." "All that's left is me and the crazy old man." "He's waiting for me out there, with no identity, no name." "Planning his next attack." "As I curled into my hole" "Grumps, curled up in his." "Daniela?" "You probably want your cat back." "I want my life back." " Grumps, what did you do with my cat?" "Zissaleh, Zissaleh, come out, come out wherever you are." "Zissaleh, Zissaleh, come out, come out," "Come out, Zissaleh." "Grumps," "I'm so happy to see you." "Do you want your life back?" "You thought your crazy act would work, huh?" "But you can't kill Yedidya Lipcher so easily." "There can be only one, Grumps." "You killed Albert," "I deleted you forever." "Stay and talk to me." "You will talk to me!" "Try deleting this with your computer." "I never meant to hurt you." "You have to go outside." "Not because of the landlord, he doesn't even want to sell the apartment," "I lied for your own good." "Grumps, that was quite a twist you came up with." "I've learned that you can't stay in the piss-hole even if it's tough outside." "I just wanted you to poke your head out and see." " See what, Grumps?" "See what?" "What is there outside?" "It's all garbage outside." "Zissaleh, you're leaving today." "What are you going to do?" "Are you going to read me my rights?" "You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can be used against you in a court of law." "Have mercy on me, Sergeant Tom," "Have mercy on me, Sergeant Tom." "Kaiser Souza." "Kaiser Souza." "Hey, McFly, hey, McFly..." "I choose the red pill, I choose the blue pill." "Don't try to be the spoon, bend the spoon." "Don't try to be the spoon, bend the spoon." "I want an eye-patch, I want an eye-patch," "I want an eye-patch!" "Hasta la vista, hasta la vista, baby." "Hey, Julie, we're meeting at the town square after school." "Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me, shoot me!" "Do it!" "I was happy, Grumps." "I was happy." "Once I saw in an old war movie how this soldier, the last one left in his foxhole, tried to call for help." "He sat there for three days without food and without water," "sending an S.O.S. In Morse code." "Three short taps, one long tap, three short taps." "Three short taps, one long tap, and three more short taps." "I had to contact her," "Using the only way I had left" "Mr. Weinblum." "Maybe, who wants to know?" "I'm here to disconnect you." "You've made a mistake." " There's no mistake." "I am just taking the set-top box and I'll be on my way." "Then go, take your shit and go." "Go." "Mr. Weinblum." " Go." "Go." "Go." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Daniela?" "Daniela?" "Did you get my messages?" "How are you?" "Daniela?" "Daniela?" "Daniela, I need you." "Please, I need you to come." "Something bad is happening to me." "My world is falling apart." "Daniela..." "Daniela, what do you want me to do?" "What do you want me to do?" "I'll do..." "Daniela, I'll do anything." "I'll do anything." "I can't do it..." "I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't..." "What did I think about during the last moments of my dying kingdom?" "About Albert, the bundle of fur and the best friend I ever had." "About sweet Jessica." "I know I'll miss every pixel in her imaginary body." "I thought about my mother." "And the silence that remained when the TV turned off," "I thought about Grumps, the likeable butler, who never really left his hole." "And then, finally," "I thought about Daniela, standing outside, waiting for me..." "loving me." "That was the best thought of all."