"Antonio." "I'm so happy." "Now you're one of us." "That's why I'm giving you this." "My first needle." "This is how it all started." "I sewed my first suit with it." "The whole empire of the Morettis was built up on this needle... and a bit on Sicilian tradition." "Antonio, now you can have everything." "Our fabrica di fashion and our stores, my macchina, the one here and the one in Palermo." "You can have my house in Palermo and everything else." "Because now you are a member of the Famiglia Moretti." "And for all I care, as from tonight you can have sex with my daughter..." "But you have to promise me one thing." "Make my daughter happy." "Will you, Laura Maria Moretti, take Antonio Carrera to be your wedded husband, to honour and love him for better or for worse until death parts you?" "Yes, I will." "And you, Antonio Carrera, will you take Laura Maria Moretti to be your wedded wife, to honour and love her for better or for worse until death parts you?" "Is somebody here called Carrera, Antonio?" "Who's that?" "But... this is a ceremony." "Do you know them?" "We have orders to take Carrera, Antonio, to the barracks for disobeying orders and not appearing for basic training." "Can't this wait?" "This is a wedding." "No." "I have a dual nationality." "I'm exempt from military service." "What?" "You're Swiss?" "If you think you have the bun and the biscuit with two passes you're mistaken." "Be glad you only have to do military service in one place." "Come along now!" "Come off it!" "Fredo, we're not in Palermo." "You can't do this!" "This is my wedding!" "Laura, I'll be back." "Today." " I promise." " Papa, do something!" " Topolino..." " Laura, I love you." "Me too." "One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... twelve... move, move... thirteen... nineteen... move, up with those knees... twenty-three... go, come on..." "Come on, get out!" "Hey, pansy!" "Is that the new uniform for gays?" "Corporal, this is the missing recruit Carrera." "Thank you." "Join in!" "Excuse me." "Can't I have a word with the chief?" "This is my wedding day." "I have a twisted vertebra." "It hurts when I walk with a load and presses on my knee" "Now!" "Cough!" "At conscription they said..." "You're healthy." "Do you take drugs?" "Yes, pot, coke, LSD, ecstasy..." "They all do." "Do you have an infectious disease?" "Yes, I have..." "An exceptionally large penis is no infectious disease." "I'm sick and must go home, damn it all!" "FIT FOR SERVICE" "For the coming 15 weeks we're your home." "Welcome." "Ladies, my motto is:" "Strict but fair." "Go." "Up with those knees." "If any one of you should hope to exchange body fluid," "I can assure you that you'll be so done in the next 15 weeks that you won't remember ever having had any genitals." "As from now there's no more smoking pot but training." "Understood?" "Understood!" "Recruit Carrera, who shit in your brain?" "Another 20!" "All of you!" "Execute, go on!" "But collective punishment is forbidden!" "Recruit Lombard." "This is no collective punishment but a drill!" "This is what we do here." "Understood?" "Until we're as tough as those grenadiers over there." "Understood?" "Understood!" "Line up!" "Come on, children!" "Move!" "Move!" "Come on!" "Is that a line?" "This is a goddamn banana, an insult." "March!" "Left, left, left." "Left is where your thumb is on the right." "But you can tie your own shoes, eh?" "Left!" "Ready, steady, Charlie!" "Recruit Carrera, when I say "Charlie" it is dangerous even if it doesn't appear so for there's a shock wave from a grenade and that means:" "Lie flat in two seconds." "Once again:" "Ready, steady, Charlie!" "Shit." "There's no cover there." "In case of war there'd be lead poisoning." "It's no use running, we got you out of church, we'll get you out of any damn hole on this planet." "Damn it, that fucking sissy." "I'll tear your ass open." "Stop staring like a fool!" "Excuse me, can you tell me how to get out of this fucking barracks?" "Try going out through the door." "Fucking Peeping Tom!" "For Christ's sake!" "The bastard!" "You know what all this cost me?" "Calm down!" "He'll come." "He promised." "Young man, I've no idea what you're doing in here." "But this is a military compound." "We fight and shoot here." "There's no room for civilians or queer fish like you." "I'll call somebody to escort you out of the barracks." "Yes." "A softy." "A wop." "He fails to join up and when the military police fetch him he's marrying." "I'm sure the wops weren't pleased, they must have flown in half the Mafia to celebrate." "Stand up straight!" "What kind of a dud are you?" "If I were you and someone called me wop, do you know what I'd say?" ""Captain, stick a sausage up your ass." "Yes, I'm a wop and I'm proud of it."" "It really is my wedding day." "Can I go home?" "Listen, I think it's good if young people like you still believe in the values of marriage, foster them and uphold them." "We need such people." "Can you see that flag?" "That's the fusiliers' flag." "And it stands and waves for our values:" "Pride, honesty and comradeship." "And one more thing." "Drugs, endangering comrades and - this is a mixed basic training - sex are forbidden here." "Understood?" "Shit!" "All I want to do is get married!" "No shit!" "You say:" "Captain, understood!" "Now you'll become a decent fusilier!" "A proper man." "Run, Carrera." "This is no scout camp." "Are your shoes pinching?" "Do you need insoles?" "Hey, can I use your mobile?" " What do I gain by it?" " A colleague." "I've got enough." "Laura, I'm so sorry, but I can't come back today." "They won't let me." "What?" "Why not?" "What the hell, Antonio!" "I've invested 20,000 francs in this marriage and want to integrate you into my famiglia and you prefer to go to the militare?" "I didn't want this." "I'll see what I can do, but there's nothing doing today." "This is a desastro!" "And why are you Swiss?" "You said it was better if I had a Swiss passport if I took over the business." "And that's my fault!" "You know what this marriage means to me." "I love you, and you make a laughing stock of me in front of everybody." "But Laura, I promise I'll do something." "I love you like hell." "Then get on with it!" " Is your chick hot at least?" " Is it that bad?" "No problem." "I've just lost my life, but I'm fine, I'm really fine." "That's what the army's like." "Forget your old life and become a man!" "This might help you, service regulations." "Nothing doing, that's special from my sister." "Can't I have one?" "Chief, special means spacecakes." "One can have fun without drugs." "You find such sexpots in uniform juicy?" "Those are women..." "Such sexpots in women's uniform?" "Rise!" "Be seated!" "Recruits, we have seen a film about the heroes of our skies." "The pride of our army." "We fusiliers have no such nice planes, but you can also become a hero in a Jeep." "The first lesson I want to teach you is at the same time the most important lesson of a future proud fusilier." "And that is:" "If enemy action during a war becomes too heavy, the fusiliers get out of the Jeep together and go over to close combat!" "And there you'll die - together!" "Captain, Recruit Bluntschi." "At ease." "Yes?" "How can I engage in close combat with a trumpet?" " She gets away with it as a woman." " A good question," "Recruit Bluntschi." "But I think women aren't suited for close combat." "What do you say?" " We have leave at the weekend." " What?" "Yes, you have." "But what's your opinion as regards to:" "Women in arms?" "You see, even your comrades are against it." "Have you ever heard about emancipation?" "When I enlisted, they promised me armed service." "Michelle..." "Recruit Bluntschi." "That is how it is, always was and always will be." "Be seated." "You are and will remain an asshole." "Laura, I can come home for the weekend." "Everybody can come back, and those from Sicily are still here anyway." "Really?" "Yes." "Can you get that over to your father?" " You're the man!" " Laura, I love you so much!" "Me too, Topolino!" "Company, attention!" "I report company ready for leave." "Yes, at ease!" "Command them at ease." "Company, at ease!" "Recruits, we have had a tough but a nice week." "I wish your mums a lot ofjoy washing and your dads happy TV watching and your girlfriends... a lot of love." "Corporal Weiss." "Here." "Sunday guard duty for Recruit Carrera and Recruit Schlönz." "Sunday guard duty?" "What Sunday guard duty?" "Silence!" "Company... attention!" "You have leave until" "Sunday night 23 h." "At ease!" "Dismiss!" "Have a nice leave." "What's this about?" "What "Sunday guard duty"?" "Easy, that's cool." "The house is ours." "Shit!" "What are you doing here?" "You should be on Sunday guard duty." "I forgot my rifle." "O.K., that can happen at the beginning." "But I tell you something, Carrera:" "That rifle will soon give you enormous pleasure." "Take aim, take up the slack and pull the trigger." "Shot after shot after shot." "Have a good guard duty." "Asshole." "You know, Carrera, if we want to reach nirvana we have to free ourselves from all these burdens, you understand?" "Birth is notjust birth, but birth..." "How far did I have to look until my eyes closed and I noticed:" "Here I am!" "My train's leaving." "I'm off." "I can't disappoint Laura again." "No problem." "I've got this barracks under control." "All the best." "How many have you gobbled up?" "This is my third." "Are you mad at me now?" "No, but you'll soon be mad at me." "Carrera, can you hear me?" "You have no practice in eating my sister's high-dose spacecakes." "I love you so much." " I love you so much." " What?" "I'll get some coffee and orange juice." "That might help you a bit." "You stay here and keep an eye on the barracks." "I'll be back." "I'll be back." "Thanks a lot." "This really is..." "Damn it all!" "Taking drugs, endangering the barracks and wanting to run away again." "I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind:" "You'll be on guard duty every weekend." "It's best for you, our basic training camp and our fatherland." "Understood?" "Have you understood?" "I have, but it's against regulations." "In the life of a fusilier, Carrera, regulations play the smallest part ever." "You'd better read this." " Hello." "Philip speaking." " I want Antonio." "Hey, baby, you have a long time to wait for him." "What are you doing tonight?" "Does that bastardo think 20,000 francs grow on trees?" "What's up?" "Why isn't he here?" "Antonio will come back." "I'll make sure of that myself." "Listen, Marisa." "Have you still got those photos?" "The prohibition of leave is absolute arbitrariness." "They think they can do what they like with us." "But I swear, you can't just do anything with us." "I must go home." "Do you know how I can get out of here?" "No chance." "Shit." "All usual methods to bring about Operation Matrimonio have failed." "Enemy action was just too heavy." "What does a good fusilier do in such a case?" "He gets out of the Jeep and goes over to close combat." "And he dies there?" "If you want to go home there's only Plan B." " What, Plan B?" " Plan B, like Bluntschi." "If the captain catches you... in contact with the enemy... then he personally will have you thrown out." "Out!" " You're crazy." " You know why?" "Bluntschi is our captain's daughter." "Michelle..." "Recruit Bluntschi." "The Bluntschis' family tree." "The mother, 20 years ago a young employee in the arsenal." "The father, 20 years ago a fresh corporal." "They never married." "I didn't find out why." "But never mind." "The illegitimate child of them both is Bluntschi." "Yes, here a phone call, there a phone call." "But I told you, Weber always has a plan." " I'm sorry, this plan is shit." " The plan's great." "No plan where I have to lie to Laura is great." "You're crazy." "What do you want to do?" "I don't know." "But certainly not this." "Attention, we're in contact with the outside world." "Furgler." "Hey, where's Furgler?" "Hello, it's me." "Topolino, hello." "I sent the photos straight to you after seeing the doctor, so nobody'd find them." "Hey, we're going to be a family." "And what are we going to do now?" "It's awfully nice, but I'm fucking afraid." "Dad already asked three times what was wrong when I had to puke in the morning." "Antonio, if he finds out that you slept with me before our wedding, he'll kill you." "Antonio, you have to come back!" "Before my stomach becomes obvious." "Well, ladies, now we'll shoot until it gets red-hot." "Or you'll be cat's food in case of war." "And always remember, a fusilier doesn't die without permission." "Open fire!" "Bluntschi, I think I've been hit." "Cease firing!" "Must we amputate?" "Yes!" "I think it's still all there." "If you turn me on once more I'll smash your gob in." "Get it?" "What the fuck are you looking at?" "Do you need some treatment?" " I have to execute your plan." " Why all of a sudden?" "I have to go home or someone will be killed." "I'll never get through to her." "They all find you sexy, man!" "And... advance!" "I've got a plan." "Plan B." "I just have to play the fool and then they'll dismiss me." "No, that'll take too long." "I'll hurry." "I promise." "I think Top Gun is shit, but Tom Cruise is a hot guy." "Are you crazy?" "He's only about 1.50 m tall, old and a member of Scientology." "And who's Bluntschi mad about?" "Hello." "Here's something for you." "You know what?" "I hate sweet things." "Chocolates!" "Just enjoy it and breathe deeply." "It's like in the sauna." "Shit!" "Carrera, damn it all!" "What's your problem, man?" "Are you completely demented?" " I didn't do it on purpose." "I wanted..." " What?" "In case of war she'd be dead." "I always said..." "Section Weiss!" "Recruit Bluntschi," "I doubt whether basic training is the right thing for you." "Strong stuff, this banana gas!" "Hey, Schaffner, how do you go about it with the chicks?" "Like this, like that, depends on the chick." "But in general?" "It's easy." "Just tell her what she wants to hear and give her what she desires." "Make her feel you want her without her feeling you want her too much." "Get it?" "Just make yourself irresistible." "Isn't it fucking hot to have such a big tool like you?" "Carrera, among us men." "Did you so far get that thing inside every woman?" "What's up?" "Why are you chatting up Bluntschi?" "I'm not chatting her up." "Are you jealous?" "This chick's so pissing hot." "I don't make you out." "Fusiliers!" "I'll have no banging." "That's a bad sign." "But you seem to be lucky this time." "The last one I caught wasn't alone, but in definite twosomeness, if you know what I mean?" "And he didn't do it on purpose," "the banging." "And now he's in community service." "The fool." "So watch out," "I always hear it." "Recruits, what do you see?" "Grenadiers." "You ask:" "What's that got to do with us?" "I'll tell you:" "In a few weeks there'll be a field exercise with these grenadiers." "Things'll get hot, real hot." "So snap the fuck out of it, watch them and learn something!" "We'll win this field exercise." "Understood?" "Understood." " I can't hear you." " Understood!" "The stuff he smokes must be unhealthy." "Got a problem with your dress?" "You'll laugh on the wrong side of your mouth!" "The way she looks at them!" "Your problem is you don't really want her, and she notices that." "Of course I don't." "I want Laura." "Antonio, you'll have to be a bit more emotional." "Grenadiers, line up!" "At ease!" "That was good." "But now we'll leave the playground to these fusiliers." "Fall out!" "You've seen how it goes and also their standard." "Men, make an effort!" "In two minutes the last slacker has completed the round." "Come on!" "Go, go!" "Move!" "Make it snappy!" "Drop down!" "On your knees!" "Elbows!" "Move!" "What a sorry lot!" "Come on, get a move on, hurry up!" "Damn it all, get over that hurdle!" "Go on!" "Lombard, don't clean your glasses now." "Furgler, you O.K." "Without water wings?" "Into the soup!" "That's it." "Schaffner, do you need bath salts?" "If you can't swim, try dog paddle." "Move!" "This is no Club School course." "Carrera, afraid of getting dirty?" "Into the water!" "Get going!" "Scale that fence!" "Don't dry yourselves off." "Manicure will have to wait." "Damn it all, that looks like old people's sex." "What a sad sight!" "No, there's no ladder or a lift." "Come on!" "Antonio, now come home!" "Laura, I'm working at it." "I told you I had a plan." "Well?" "Do they think you're stupid enough?" "I'm working at it." "Recruits, today's a great day!" "An enormous day for every fusilier." "You can win something." " Captain, Recruit Bluntschi." " Silence!" "Today we'll shoot on points." "Captain, Recruit Bluntschi." "Shot..." "Goddamn it!" "... after shot... after shot." "Hello!" "Damn it all!" "What's the matter?" "When they enlisted me they promised me armed service, so if you don't..." "Recruit Bluntschi, empty your trouser pocket." "Go on!" "Your trumpet is your weapon." "It inspires your comrades with courage." "And if you're threatened in case of war, this is your weapon." "And as long as a woman doesn't shoot 81 points, I won't give her a rifle." "Get it?" "If you won't give me a rifle I can't shoot 81 points." "That's why." "Sixty seconds for six shots!" "Open fire!" "Cease firing!" "Section Weiss, unload rifles!" "Captain, section Weiss ready for stocktaking!" "Yes!" "Well?" "Did anybody obtain full points?" "I'll have a look." "Recruit Furgler, 57 points." "But you can see your rifle, eh?" "Recruit Lombard." "0 points." "Have you got a jam in your brain?" "I'm against killing!" "I've had enough of this!" "Understood?" "Fucking sissy!" "Recruit Schaffner." "70 points." "Nevertheless." "Recruit Carrera, eighty..." "Recruit Carrera, 83 points." "Carrera, come here!" "And now I want a rifle." "Carrera, come here!" "Laura, I'm coming home." "Company, at ease!" "Recruit Bluntschi, come here!" "Captain," "Recruit Bluntschi." "At ease!" "Fall back into the ranks!" "Company... attention!" "At ease!" "Fall out!" "Look, this is fucking hot, eh?" "What's that?" "It's to stop dirt getting in." "Thanks a lot." "I'm sorry you're in jail because of me." "You're not as stupid as I thought." "I have to go crawling." "Have a good time." "I've seen all sorts in the army, but... you're the first one we even have to take the Bible away from." "Are you Catholic?" "Yes, Roman Catholic." "O.K., then you still have a chance." " Good night, Billie." " Sleep well, Vanessa." "Hey, Bluntschi, sweet dreams about your rifle." "With a few heavy losses the recruit finally managed to get out of the Jeep." "Look, this is fucking hot, eh?" " What happens now?" " Close combat." "When you're in action with Bluntschi, bang at the radiator." "You know who'll come... and you can get married." "You think you're a super stud because you helped Bluntschi, eh?" "No." "What, no?" "Of course." "I'm telling you once more:" "Recruit Bluntschi is absolutely taboo for you." " Understood?" " Understood!" "Don't worry." "I'll protect you from that asshole." " You'll have to remove that thing first." " You can shoot through it." "Where did you learn to shoot so well?" "I did my training with Protectas because I want to be a bodyguard." "Now I'm here." " Like Kevin Costner in that film." " Exactly." "Bodyguard, eh?" " You're no better than me." " Why?" "Nobody marries voluntarily at twenty." "All that's over." "They rounded you up from church." "She dropped me." "Now she's pregnant with another man's baby." "Forget it." "So she wasn't worth it anyway." "I'll give you a good tip:" "We women don't find it cool if you make a pass at us just after being let down." "But keep going." "You're making progress." "Whoever can talk, didn't run far enough." "20 press-ups, get going!" "Now you can tell your sandpit story." "No more damp pants, soft porn and eating crisps." "Run, damn it all!" "Move, move!" "Come along, keep walking." "Come along." " Hey, you alright?" " Thanks, I'm O.K." "1Attention!" "At ease!" "Go!" "Well, ladies, in 3 minutes everything's clean." "And when I say clean I mean clean." " This won't work." " Fuck, man." "Never." " Understood?" " Understood!" "And finished!" "What's up?" "Those weren't three minutes!" "Lombard, did I ask you something?" "I'm not a monster." "You have time to practice." "Night out is cancelled." "Afterwards a few rounds on the track." "That Weiss is a damn fascist." "You can't stand it if you're sober." "Give me some." "I like to jerk off after a smoke." "You pig!" "You jerk off here?" "Sure." "Look." "Hot!" "You bastard!" "Hot, eh?" "Billie can have them." "She'll get moist when I say I jerk off thinking of her." "You'd better drill with one of these." "Buggers," "I'm fucking thirsty." "I'm going to a bar and I'll booze until I reach the most fucking nirvana." "To hell with Weiss." "No beer no war." "To hell with Weiss." "What's that mean?" " We'll get tanked up." " Hot." "Aren't you thirsty, Carrera?" "I'll stay here." "Are you crazy?" " I'm not in the mood?" " Not in the mood?" "Do what you want." "I have other problems, O.K.?" "You spoilsport." " We fusiliers have to stick together." " Softie." " Deserter." " Leave him alone." "Boys, let's go." "A giant prick but fucking tiny balls." "Do your lips vibrate when you blow?" "Hey, Bluntschi," "I haven't finished." " Hi." " Hello." " Who is it?" " Only Carrera." "It's good you came." "I'm in no mood to talk to them about blowing." "I no longer play the trumpet." "Fucking hot, this Piranha." "Piranha sounds very dangerous." "Very dangerous." "They are dangerous." "And if you get too close they bite." " Shall we go for a ride?" " Bluntschi, stop it." "You mustn't." "Ooh, I mustn't." "Bluntschi, ha ha." "Bluntschi, stop it." "Bluntschi, that's dangerous, stop it!" "Hey, shit, man!" "Bluntschi, you mustn't do that!" "Bluntschi, stop it, Bluntschi!" "Bluntschi, are you crazy?" "Do you know what can happen?" "It's fucking dangerous." "This is absolutely sexist." "You needn't look." " Shall we hire her?" " Sorry, I'm too tired to fuck." "Cheers." "Six beers." "Grenadiers, be seated!" "Understood!" "Fucking Weiss with his fucking grenadiers!" "He's nuts." "Who wants to be like them?" "What are those fucking fusiliers doing here?" "Eh, girls..." "Furgler, will you do me a favour?" "Hey, boys." "Corporal Weiss said you grenadiers were softies and had no pricks and were all foreigners." "That's hot, eh?" "Well then, cheers!" " What happened?" " Shit!" "It's no fun with those grenadiers." "Fucking assholes." "We deserve this pot." "But there's no more joking tomorrow." "You know, Gmür, this is the fist time I felt how dangerous I want to become." " We'll pay them back for it." " Officially." "We'll smoke them for breakfast at that field exercise." "We'll finish those grenadiers off." "From tomorrow, no more boozing but drilling." "How about you, Eros?" "Got no hot plan?" "No time." " What do you do?" " Mind your own." "Is it our business or are we curious, dual national with a plan?" "The spoilsport wants to drop us for a chick." "You've no idea, you asshole." "Do you think I'm not all there?" "I know all about your Plan B." "Plan B?" " Do you want to tell them?" " You wanker!" " What are we?" " Grenadiers!" " Who do we hate?" " The fusiliers!" "Recruits!" "You have disappointed me." "You have allowed us to be insulted." "Are we finally going to fight?" "Furgler, does it hurt?" "Yes, but this is the only way to learn." "Bluntschi, rolling would help." "Captain," "I don't know what's got into them." "Bluntschi, don't let go." "Shit!" "Up!" "Women!" "Recruit Bluntschi," "I once more have my doubts as to whether basic training is the right thing for you." "But you're a woman and can go home anytime." "It isn't that bad." "What's up?" "I somehow can't do it." "Why not?" "Now everything's ready." "Shit!" "You've fallen for her." "What a fucking plan." "Laura is pregnant, I can't allow myself to do it." "It's not a disaster." "Have a quick romance, enjoy it, then you can go home and get married." "I somehow think it's shit." "What will you do now?" "I'll tell Bluntschi about the fucking plan, that I love her and we must stop." "I wanted to say goodbye to you two." "What's up?" "I'm pissed off with the trumpet and I'm not good enough for the rest." "I'm going." "Bye." "Your problem has solved itself." " Wait!" "You can'tjust go." " Yes, I can." " It's no disaster." " Of course it is." "Even if it is a disaster." "You owe me something." "I was thinking of a bar, but bodyguards don't drink alcohol." "I might as well get drunk." "Don't be silly." "You know what you want to become, you can go ahead with it." "If you go now you'll only please the captain, not yourself." "You're the best one of us." "That isn't difficult." "Hot guy." "He's doing it after all." "O well, she wouldn't have come anyway." "Do you still want to leave me here alone?" "What happened?" "The captain caught me drilling." "Things could be worse." " Hello, here's Philip." " I want to talk to Antonio." "Hey, baby, he's busy." "So what?" "Can't you fetch him?" "No, but you know what?" "Why don't you come on visiting day?" "Visiting day?" "Captain!" " Is your family coming to watch today?" " No, I didn't say it was visiting day." "Shit." "Laura, what are you doing here?" "Why didn't you say I could come today?" "We can talk later." "I've got to go now." " See you later." " Topolino... we're marrying, aren't we?" "Shit." "Dear parents, relatives, friends, dear ladies and gentlemen, dear recruits." "This day not only fills me with joy but also with pride." "For your orientation:" "In the direction of 12 o'clock, my hand, you see a tent:" "This tent is supposed to be a house in which civilians are being threatened and detained by hostile elements." "Our fusiliers will now react according to the situation." "Well then, was that her?" "No." "I've got to explain something to you." "Keep your fucking explanations to yourself, you asshole." " Do you take me for a holiday fuck?" " Certainly not!" "I can take the piss out of myself." "You've no idea!" "Medical section, advance!" "Hurry up!" "Come on, come on!" "What the hell!" "You can see, ladies and gentlemen, military dealings are tough but fair." "Oh, my God!" " Let's leave him." " Are you mad?" "He's our comrade!" "Come on!" "What's up?" "Damn it all, take him away!" "Can't you do that?" "Corporal Weiss, come here!" "Shit!" "Now you're in the shit." "I said it was a fucking plan." "Märkli!" "Shit!" "I'm also in the shit." "It's nice here." "You look sexy." "So masculine." "I'm sure bunches of girls run after you." "Mrs Bolliger's son has a girlfriend now." "My sweety has never fait I'amour with a girlfriend." "Mum, in case you've never noticed." "I'm gay!" "Well?" "Is it bad?" " It'll pass." " No, it remains as it is." "Sorry, what does "gay" mean?" "What's up?" "Antonio, I have an idea." "You know... come with me now and we'll get married on a small scale." "I can't come now." " Can I touch your stomach?" " No." "Only after you've told me we belong together forever." "Carrera, are you confessing Plan B?" "Shut up!" " She knows about the plan." " But why's it take so long?" "Wasn't he good at playing the psycho?" "I think he took Plan Bluntschi too seriously." " Fuck off," "Schaffner!" " Hey, who's Bluntschi?" "I'm Bluntschi." "Is that a problem for you?" "Antonio, what's this smurf want?" "You're the one he no longer wants?" "What's that?" "Why's he want to sleep with me then?" "Is that true?" "Hey, Bluntschi, Antonio doesn't really want you." "He only slept with you to get out of here sooner." "Ouch!" "It was Weber's idea." "Laura, I'll explain later." "I'll explain!" "Here." "Take that!" "Stop!" "There's order in my barracks." "Michelle, Carrera, come to my office!" "Carrera, you disappoint me." "You'll never become a proud fusilier." "You aren't even a decent dual national." "You are a disgrace to our army, to our fatherland and my..." "You always did want to go home." "Get out of my field of fire." "Out!" "I don't salute civilians." "Out." " Well?" " What, well?" "There's no well." "Recruit Bluntschi, no more shooting for you." "I always said the army isn't for women." "Hand in your rifle to Corporal Weiss." "After roll call you'll come and report off duty." "You did exactly..." "Keep familiar terms to neutral ground." "You are dismissed." "Go on, carry out orders!" "I myself had doubts as to whether basic training was the right thing for me." "But I made a decision." "If you want to throw me out now because" "I made the same fucking mistake as you when you bumped Mum in the arsenal..." "I can't talk to you." "You're too stupid." "You're an asshole." "It wasn't a mistake, but the best thing that could have happened to me." "That settles that." "Recruit Bluntschi, welcome to basic training!" "I don't want my daughter in community service." "That fucking Topolino betrayed me." "Daddy, do something..." "I'm fed up with life." "Don't worry." "What will be will be." "Laura has problems with that bastard." "Don't worry." "We'll be right there." "Let's go!" "Captain!" "Hey, boys, this is way-out..." "Hey, Bluntschi, look!" "Captain!" "Captain!" "Stick your sausage up your ass." "I want to be a proud fusilier." "And I want your daughter, too." "Company, attention!" "Recruits!" "A change has been made for Plan 4-26 concerning the field exercise with the grenadiers." "I inform you that we have guests among us for this big final exercise." "An officer and a military attaché from India." "They are especially interested in the strike power and fighting strength of our grenadiers." "I order the fusiliers to lie down on the ground in front of the grenadiers' house and die." "Is that clear?" "Divisional Commander!" "Captain Reiker!" "My men and women have spent 15 weeks training for this big battle." "It is unfavourable to their morale..." "Captain!" "That was an order." "I won't stand any protest from you as an officer." "Understood?" "Understood!" "Corporal Weiss!" " You know what's to be done." "Understood?" " Understood!" "Exercise starts!" "A big family celebration." "Captain!" "Here!" "Recruits, it's time to cock our toes." "Fuck it!" "We can't spend five weeks fucking because of these damn grenadiers and now practice coitus interruptus, can we, boys?" " No!" "Do as you like." "Orders are orders." "Another tip:" "Dispose of him first, or you'll have no chance." "And now die." "Now die." "Boys..." "I report off duty." "Fucking shit." "Weber, want to become a grenadier killer?" "Let's go." "A woman becomes the chief and a gay a grenadier killer." " We'll give them cover." " You want to win or don't you?" "Don't worry about me." "Carry on!" "What do you think you're doing?" "What's up, Captain, your men should be dead long ago." "They're fusiliers, that's what." "Gmür, Schaffner, come with me." "We'll storm the house from the back." "Why not me?" "We're a good house to house combat team." "Because I don't know if you're a crawler or a dedicated fighter." "Take him along and you'll find out." "O.K. Gmür, you go first." " Thanks." " Don't get ideas." "I'll only tell you once." "I'm serious:" "I'm sorry and I'm an asshole." "At least you notice it yourself." "Aren't you sick of it?" "War is fucking boring." "We'd better go to a hemp field and have a party." "First we storm." "Shit!" "Don't leave me alone!" "This is a scandal." "That's enough!" "Grenadier!" "Code red!" "Damn it all, Franz." "Tell them to die." "You're to die." " What do we do now?" " Let me down." " It'll never work." "Bluntschi should go." " This time it'll work." "Shit!" "Up!" "Up!" "Bluntschi, don't let go!" "Confound it!" "We'll finish off your gay colleague." "You can't, he's already dead." "You think he's dead and can't feel anything when he squeaks?" "Come along down, you've lost anyway." "Let's give up." " Are these all?" " Yes." " This isn't fair." " To the wall!" "Hey, boys!" "Super!" "We've won!" "Fucking fusiliers!" "Super!" "We've won!" "Damn it all!" "What are you grinning at?" "Are you O.K.?" "Didn't you once say you'd protect me, you bodyguard?" "What are you doing with that smurf again?" "Hey, guys!" "This is out of bounds for civilians." "Laura, what's the matter?" "Topolino, I forgive you if you come back." "All will be well again." "Antonio, come here!" "Shit!" "I'm no longer your Topolino." "I'm staying here." "Don't you understand me?" "I don't love you anymore." "Fredo!" "I think my daughter and the dual national have a problem." "Nobody shoots at my fusiliers." "Hey, are you crazy?" "Pleased to meet you." "Philip." "Are you crazy?" "You want to kill yourself?" "Easy." "This is a typical bodyguard situation." "I'd even marry you." "But not before next spring." "Hello." "Excuse me." "Franz." "Relax." "Will you," "Laura Maria Moretti, take Philip Schaffner to be your wedded husband, to honour and love him for better or for worse until death parts you?" "Yes, I will." "And you, Philip Schaffner, will you take Laura Maria Moretti to be your wedded wife, to honour and love her for better or for worse until death parts you?" "Yes, I will." "Hey, where are Bluntschi and Antonio?"