"Hello, Emily." "Hello, Fred." "I think you'll lik e me in this dress when it's done." "Oh." "Have you broken your umbrella?" "I made you steak and kidney pudding for tonight." "And i was wondering whether you'd like to stay in and listen to the wireless or go out to the pictures." "Mr. Baker will give his 12th talk on accountancy in 3 minutes." "The pictures then, dear?" "Damn the pictures and the wireless and the office." "I want some life!" "Life, i tell you!" "Like that." "What you want, dear, is some little liver pills and some fruit torte." "I don't want any pills." "I want some of the good things of life." "Money." "Why should you be able to spend less on yourself than some women do on their rotten poodles?" "Why shouldn't you have a hairdresser and a lady's maid?" "Why, Fred, i never expect those things." "That's just it." "The good little women like you don't want enough." "Get out of there!" "I think the best place for us is a gas oven." "Fred!" "To talk about gas ovens when we've a roof over our heads." "Food, beds..." "oh, and lots of things." "Is that the post?" "Oh, let it be the gas bill." "Serves you jolly well right if it is, talking about gas ovens." "Oh, thanks." "Have you left everything ready for me outside, mrs." "Porter?" "Yes, ma'am." "Thank you." "Good night." "Good night, ma'am." "Good night, sir." "Good night, mrs." "Porter." "Is it the income tax?" "Em!" "Quick, look." "Oh!" "See this, em?" "Now you can have some real clothes." "Oh!" "My new dress!" "Hurry up, old james, you'll be late for the office." "You know, em, i always got into the sea." "I hear it's a bit rough in the channel." "Hello." "We're off." "Come on, em." "Let's take a snap." "I say, em, i think i'll pop down and get you some sick... i mean, magazines." "Yeah, but... oh, my god." "The curtain's gone up too soon." "D. They're not dresse i mean..." "Let's get out of here." "I don't like it." "Why not?" "Somebody just pinched me." "Where?" "You know where." "You leave it to me." "So long, folks." "See you tomorrow." "What's in that parcel, Fred?" "For you." "Whoo!" "I couldn't wear this." "People will think we aren't married." "don't feel a bit as if we are." "One of the sailors told me it was a bit rough outside." "Yes, i heard that, too." "I say, em... i think i'll go do wn to the cabin and, um, i mean, you know... to see if everything's all right." "All right, Fred." "Oh, excuse me." "Oh, hello, commander." "How do you do, miss emory?" "Are we going to have a lot of fun and mischief?" "I hope so." "We're not off yet." "Just about that much." "It's a marvelous night, isn't it?" "Yes, isn't it?" "Is your husband feeling better?" "Oh, yes, he's much better." "He's really a very good sailor, but he's not used to it." "Yes." "Oh, commander gordon, aren't you coming down?" "We're all waiting for you." "Do you mind if i have one more pipe in peace?" "Oh." "Oh." "You know, these bright young people make one feel awfully old at times." "Oh, i like to keep them enjoying themselves." "Come in." "How do we go now, sir?" "Would you like to try a little something?" "Tell my wife." "She'll get me a grave." "Very good, sir." "Here's another." "May i draw on this?" "Sorry?" "Yes." "If you want to." "You're the crazies t person, really." "Why do you say that?" "I don't know." "You're delicious." "I could sit and listen to you all the afternoon." "You're laughing at me." "No, no, i'm not, really." "Funny you should say that because i always find it so difficult to talk to people." "Do you?" "Yes." "But not to you." "I find it quite easy... much easier than i could to my husband." "Do you know..." "i see... i beg your pardon." "Oh, no." "Oh, please, i didn't mean to interrupt." "Go on." "Well, what i was saying was you know, i couldn't understand it at first." "But now i think i know why it is." "Oh?" "Why?" "Well, you see, you're just a man and not my husband." "And if you get bored with me, all you've got to do is to get up and go away and it doesn't matter." "Yes, but it would matter very much." "Have you ever been in love, mr." "Gordon?" "No, i can't say that i have." "That's a pity." "That's a pity because it's difficult for you to understand." "You see, i love Fred and he loves me." "And naturally, i want him to think well of me." "When i talk to him, i'm always so frightened of saying something foolish." "You see, he's terribly clever." "And i'm not, eh?" "No." "Oh, i think you're interesting and amusing." "And you like the things that i like... yes." "Well, that doesn't take much doing, does it?" "No, i suppose not." "No, i don't think you're clever." "No, i supposed i'm not really." "I say, it's a very lucky thing that, uh, we're no t in love, isn't it?" "Yes." "Isn't it?" "Love is a very difficult business, mr." "Gordon." "You'd be surprised." "It makes everything difficult and dangerous." "You know, i don't think love makes people brave like it says in books." "I think it makes them timid." "I think it makes them frightened when they're happy and sadder when they're sad." "You see, everything's multiplied by two... sickness, death, the future." "It all means so much more." "Oh, i'm afraid i haven't made myself very clear." "Yes, you have." "You see, love's a wonderful thing, mr." "Gordon." "Yes." "The kind of love that you're describing must be." "You know, i think i shall have to try it." "You must." "You're just cut out for it." "But do be sure you get the right girl." "It'd be a crime if you were wasted." "Mrs. Hill... will you give me an honest answer to a straight question?" "Why, yes." "Are you trying to pull my leg?" "Pull your leg?" "I don't quite know why i said that." "H. It's rather foolis forgive me, will you?" "Oh, yes, of course." "What i was searching to say." "I mean... hello, gordon." "Why, hello, colonel." "Oh, and, um, this i presume is mrs." "Gordon." "Oh, there you are." "Now, come along, ken." "You distinctly promised me you wouldn't run away." "I want you to help me feed the seagulls." "If you come along with me, colonel." "There you are." "No, no, commander, don't be silly." "If i may intrude for just a teeny weenie second." "It's just struck me, i have the very thing for your poor ill husband." "That's very kind of you." "I have a perfectly marvelous plaster." "You just put one on and the effects?" "Magical." "But what do you?" "There's one on the..." "next the skin." "I guarantee he'll be up tomorrow, i really do." "I guarantee it." "Thank you so much." "Oh, it's nothing." "I really only carry them for the benefit of the less fortunate." "Don't you think the world would be a better place, commander, if we all did that sort of thing a little more often?" "Yes, i suppose so." "I'm afraid i don't bother very much about other people." "I don't believe it." "No, no." "I don't believe it shall i fetch the plasters later on?" "What?" "Oh, yes, yes." "Now, commander, what about a 4 at bridge?" "I'm afraid not." "I promised to take mrs." "Hill for a stroll." "If you'll excuse me." "What a perfect gentle knight you are, commander." "Good evening." "Like to see a ship we were once passengers in?" "Oh, gordon." "I called you gordon." "Why, that's a christian name, too." "Yes." "I liked it." "It sounded kind of friendly." "The mister got lost out here, didn't it?" "Yes, i'm glad." "Let it stay lost." "It's rather good, eh?" "Gordon." "Just one bloke to another." "Oh!" "I feel quite dizzy." "Let's go back." "Ah!" "Well, upon my soul, i've been looking for you everywhere, when you were here all the time." "Behold, the wonder worker." "Thank you." "And tomorrow your husband will be up and looking after you again." "But poor commander gordon will be left right into the background." "There, there." "I'm only joking." "You like my high spirits?" "How funny." "Well, i must be going." "Good evening." "Well, i suppose i'd better be saying good night, too." "Is it all right?" "Yes." "From the office." "What's for dinner, em?" "Steak and kidney pudding?" "What, again?" "Every other night it's steak and kidney pudding." "Gosh, em, i'm feeling fine." "I say, em, these deck games look good to me." "Yes." "Drat!" "Ooh!" "Oh, i'm most terribly sorry." "I say, damn it." "You need to be more careful." "You might have knocked my eye out." "They ought to have a rope round here or something." "I say, old man, no need to go on like that." "It was quite an accident." "The princess couldn't help it." "Don't be angry with him." "I am not offended." "Get down." "You'll fall." "Ah, Fred." "How lovely." "Ah, my bag... you'll stay here?" "Yes." "Don't run away without me." "No." "Have you seen the colonel?" "No." "No?" "You hare." "He's the re all the time." "Now, colonel, don't forget you're coming with me to buy my carpet." "What?" "Oh, yes." "Yes, you'd better come now, i think." "Good morning." "Don't forget you'' 're coming to buy my carpet, will you?" "Fred, isn't it lovely?" "Em, i shouldn't take that with you." "It makes you look like a tourist." "To think that place has been there all these years." "All those strange people having their babies." "Dying." "Cooking their funny meals." "Strange." "It's been there all these years." "You don't think they built it especially for us overnight, do you?" "Well, you needn't snap my head off." "That's the third time you've spoken to me like that since yesterday." "I'm sorry." "Ah, Emily!" "Oh, your husband." "He looks so good." "Don't he?" "Going ashore... oh, come." "Let us go." "Hello." "Aren't you going ashore?" "Yes." "Well, there's not too much time." "May i carry that for you?" "Come on!" "Em, are you coming bathing with the princess and me?" "No, i'm staying with miss emory to buy her carpet." "Oh, my dear, really, that's quite all right." "I don't mind." "Fred... oh." "There." "There, there." "Yes, i like this, i think." "Come on." "Uh... really." "Be careful, dear." "I rather like that." "Thank you." "Now, mr." "Gordon, you'll carry this for me, i'm sure... well, he's gone." "Well, colonel, you can carry it." "Good." "Good morning." "Shall we go?" "Fred may be looking for me." "Yes, i suppose we'd better." "Our little twin beds, huh?" "Uh, shall we?" "Oh!" "My poor heart." "You make him jump so." "You feel?" "Cabin number 19." "No, no, no." "Not right away." "You must be what you call indiscreet." "You go have your promised dance with the, um, gossip woman." "Then she will not look for you." "Cabin number 19." "Good evening." "Don't you think my shepherdess costume makes me look young?" "Yes." "How old?" "19." "Whoo!" "Good evening." "Can i get you an ice?" "Oh, yes, please do." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Aah!" "I'm drunk, Emily." "No, you're not." "I am." "Admit it." "Well, if you are, i am, too." "Exactly." "Hello, em." "Hi, gordon." "Hello." "Sit down." "I'm tight." "What are you gonna have?" "All right." "I'll get you something." "Steward." "Oh, hello, Fred." "Hello." "Hello, Emily." "Oh, no, no, no." "I sit there." "Why, hello, princess." "What will you have?" "Oh, i think, um, a brandy and soda." "Brandy and soda?" "Oh, steward, a brandy and soda as well, please." "Have you a cigarette, Fred?" "Yes, i think so." "Ah, what do you want, a cigarette?" "Please." "I have one." "There you are." "Thank you." "It's a gorgeou s night outside." "Perfect for lovers." "Oh, have you seen my husband anywhere about?" "I think he went ashore with the princess, madam." "?" "My wife?" "?" "Won't let me...?" "Well, uh... why not let me show you around town, eh?" "I'd be delighted." "I say..." "yes, sir?" "When's there a boat leaving again for shore?" "There's one going in 5 minutes." "5 minutes." "Shall we?" "All right." "You've been thinking a lot." "Oh, i'm as much at sea as ever." "It's a bewildering business, this, this being at sea." "But on the night of the carnival, i knew that Fred and the princess were... were drunk, too." "Compared with them, we were a pair of sober sods." "But i can't feel sorry." "About them?" "About us." "Tell me, Fred, have you not a regret for treating Emily so?" "Well, i wouldn't be human if i had no regrets." "Naturally, i feel for her." "I'd be a pretty poor sort of fish if i didn't." "Of course, she's fond of me i know." "I suppose we were happy enough in our own quiet little way until we came on this trip and i met you." "After that, of course, it was all out." "I mean, how can i be expected to love Emily when i..." "when i love you?" "Water is a good drink, but champagne he is better, yes?" "That's it." "That's it." "And having developed a taste for champagne what's the use of trying to stick to water?" "Oh, well, maybe she will find someone who is nearer her own level." "Yes." "She'll probably be much happier." "Of course, you know, she never really understood me." "I was a bit too much for her." "Like to see a ship we were once passengers in?" "It's running away from us now." "Him." "Is he going to beat us?" "You are going to let me take care of you, aren't you oh, i don't know." "Let me make this figure real." "After all, you know, you drew it." "[People singing "for he's a jolly good fellow"" "isn't it marvelous to think that after tonight we should always be together?" "Yes." "But don't forget, Fred." "Tomorrow when we go ashore, i'm asked to get off alone." "Oh, yes." "My hand." "Sorry." "But i can't help feeling a bit worried about em." "I hope she'll be all right." "Fred..." "hmm?" "If the woman can't hold her man, there's no reason why he should take the blame." "No." "I suppose you're right." "You always are." "Shall we go inside?" "All right." "Hip hip hooray!" "Hip hip hooray!" "Hooray!" "Hip hip hooray!" "Hip hip... hooray." "I've seen it all along." "Look at the way you made yourself an absolute slave to him." "Anyway, i'll be able to make you happy now." "You wouldn't go back to that dull life again?" "Fred may have to go back." "Oh, he's fickle." "If he were a man, i'd feel ashamed." "As it is, i frown for him." "Bluff." "Empty shirt." "Oh, gordon." "It used to make my heart ache to hear you worship that overgrown sham, the way you kowtowed to him." "He was just a great baby masquerading as a big, strong man." "I've held my tongue because i hadn't the heart to open your dear eyes." "But now, you're not his wife anymore." "Yet a princess fell in love with him." "Princess." "Do you know why Fred succeeded so admirably with her royal highness?" "Because she's not a princess." "She's just a common adventuress and he was the biggest asset aboard." "She set her trap and caught him." "Why didn't you warn him?" "Much good that would'v e done, sweetheart." "You can't teach the Freds of this world." "What'll happen to him?" "I don't know, and i don't care." "When she's spent all his money, she'll drop him like a hot brick." "Then he can come to his senses." "Alone." "It's not our business, sweetheart." "M. We've got to forget hi but don't you see, i can't, gordon." "A wife's more than half a mother." "And i've been married to him for over 8 years." "It's a long time, you know that?" "Oh, think what it means, gordon." "I hate to." "No, gordon." "I can't!" "Ask him to stop." "Fred... i've been down to make certain." "She has gone with him." "That must be the dinner i sent for." "Come in." "Oh, uh, wait there." "Put the bill on the table there." "Fred?" "Oh!" "Oh." "Perhaps you would wish to speak alone with Fred?" "Eh?" "I will wait downstairs for you, Fred." "Yes?" "Uh... i'll go and get a shirt." "Thank you, uh..." "princess." "You did not go with him." "You little fool." "You damn little fool." "I'm just... i was just fixing up to go bathing with the princess." "You don't want to come, do you?" "I suppose you'll be going somewhere with gordon." "He's gone." "He's what?" "He's gone to his home." "Up country." "Well, fancy that." "He wanted to take me with him." "What's that?" "He loves me." "And how far has this thing gone?" "Oh!" "Fred, don't start play acting over this." "It'll only make things worse." "Oh, play acting." "Huh!" "Sorry state of affairs." "Yes, yes, Fred!" "Let's take all that as said!" "I'd have gone with him if it hadn't been for you." "For me?" "He'd have made me happier." "But you've no right... when i said i would, he started to show me you as the outside world sees you." "Not as i've seen you, blinded by love and all this long time together." "Don't... you're mad." "Yes, i was to have missed my chance." "But after what he said..." "Oh, come in!" "Get out of here!" "Well, what did he say then?" "Just the truth, Fred." "He said you were a sham, nothing but a bluff." "I'll smash him to bits, is what i'll do." "He wouldn't have any fear of you, dear." "He knows you're just a great big coward." "Well, if you thought so much of him to listen to all his dirty lies about me, why the devil didn't you go with him?" "Because i recognized your faults." "Whereas, before i'd always dressed you up in all kinds of silly virtues." "Oh, very much obliged, i'm sure." "I saw that i was the wife for you." "That without me, you'd be lost." "I couldn't allow that." "It wouldn't be right, would it?" "Not right, eh?" "Very kind of you, i'm sure." "And do you think that after the way you've behaved... i suggest that if you want to get this thing straightened out and not wreck everything through... this trip, you've got to do something about this." "Well, what's that?" "She's a sham, too." "You don't tell me." "Is anybody or anything real then?" "And in what way is the princess a sham, if it's not troubling you too much?" "Because she's not a princess at all." "Because she's just a common, cheap adventuress." "And she only threw her hat at you because you were the one man on board... oh, shut up!" "Shut up, damn you!" "It's true!" "Shut up, i tell you." "Shut up!" "I'll shut up when i've said... shut up!" "That's all." "I'll go to the princess." "My things can be sent on." "Good-bye." "Just a minute." "Come in." "Thank you." ""dear..." ""knowing you, i accept your verdict." ""You have made your choice and i see the way of it." ""I don't know much about love," ""how long it lasts or what the remedies are," ""but i love you, Emily." ""So much that i can't write anymore... only blessings and prayers for you. "" "Don't you dare say, "i told you so. "" "She... caught the train to rangoon." "But i can't make i t out why she would... um, do you think that this has got her... give it to me." "What do you mean by hiding my letters?" "She's gone." "She was a fraud." "She thanks me for my company and says her father kept a cleaning shop in berlin." "That little swine." "Yes!" "That's what she is." "The swine!" "To treat you like that." "Oh, i could... what a fool she's made of me." "What a fool!" "Oh, Fred." "Poor Fred." "Oh, for god's sake, keep your pity!" "But i tell you again," "If you say "i told you so," i'll strangle you i will, i swear i will." "Wish i could strangle her." "And all the time she was just a rotten street walker." "I'll set the police on her, that's what i'll do." "But you can't." "She hasn't done anything." "I mean, not broken any law." "Hasn't she just?" "That's all you know." "She's only robbed us of ³³1,000." "What?" "You would like...?" "Get out!" "But how could she?" "Oh, she told me a pack of lies about an expected remittance or something." "Anyway, it was only to be a loan." "Well, not a loan exactly because we were pooling everything we had." "And then there were our passages to australia... of course, i was going to see the jeweler all right." "I mean... well, you were gonna run away with your precious gordon." "But i didn't." "Well, did i?" "I wish i'd never come on the trip." "Think of that tart heading for burma with 1,000 of the best in her pocket and shoving her fingers to her nose." "How in god's name are we going to get home, Fred?" "Shall we have enough?" "Oh, i dare say we have enough to pay this bill and a cheap boat home." "Fred!" "Fred!" "That's all right, darling." "All hands on deck!" "What's up, em?" "Em, what's happened?" "We've stopped." "I don't know..." "you must know." "I don't." "What is it?" "I don't know." "I don't." "There was a big bang and something fell." "It hit you on the head." "You'll be fine." "Can't get the damn thing open." "The bolt!" "Why can't you open this door, you fool?" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Oh, help!" "Help!" "Help!" "There go the lights, em." "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "It's no use, Fred." "We can't get out, em." "We're dying." "Oh, em, for god's sake." "Fred... do you mind very much?" "Not now." "I did at first." "I'm... i'm scared, em." "Em... i'm sorry." "What for, Fred?" "There's only been you." "There's only ever been you." "Oh, i know." "I know." "Fred." "Fred!" "It's daylight." "Look." "Look at the port hole." "Don't do that." "You'll let the sea in." "Be quicker anyway." "Fred, we could have got out last night." "The gangway is just outside." "If only we'd thought." "Oh, i'll go first to see if it's all right." "Come on, darling." "Come on." "Don't forget, feet first." "Ooh." "Ahh." "Come on." "Ooh!" "Ahoy!" "Ooh!" "Have they gone, Fred?" "Don't go sneaking up to a chap like that." "It's scary enough without playing funny tricks." "Of course they've gone" "They'll come back, chappy." "Oh, will they?" "They'll reckon it's gone down hours ago instead of floating on like this." "Why did it, Fred?" "How the dickens do i know?" "The silly things you ask." "What the hell do we do now?" "That's the question." "Well, we want a boat or a raft or something." "You don't tell me." "Fred, hadn't we better go and find some clothes or something?" "Somebody might come." "Yes, that's very likely." "Let's see what's in here." "I'd better give yo u a hand with these." "All right?" "Yes." "That's better." "Ha ha!" "Ohh... he set next to me at dinner." "Let's go." "Phew." "It's getting on my nerves." "I need a drink." "I know." "Let's go down to the bar." "We'll have brandy." "It'll warm us up." "Here we are." "I tell you one thing:" "We'd better get a move on and find some way out of this, make a raft or something." "Fred." "Mm-hmm." "Here." "Listen." "What?" "Do you think it's mad if i use the gentleman's?" "Ours is underwater." "Yes." "Go on." "No sense in being suburban." "Listen." "Fred, look!" "A chinese junk." "Give me your hand." "That's right." "There we are." "Ohh!" "Uh, good afternoon." "Fred, look!" "She's going to have a baby." "Seems all right, em." "Mm!" "Best meal i've eaten for ages." "Much better than all those swell meals we had in paris." "Mm!" "I like being shipwrecked." "It's not half as bad as people make out." "Hmm." "Nothing ever is." "Why, this is as good as yachting." "Hi!" "Dullard dummies, aren't they?" "Ah..." "Hello." "What's the old boy up to?" "Help me up, Fred." "Ok." "Ooh!" "Sat on a knot." "I'll tell you one thing, em." "What's that?" "That ship going down has done us a bit of good in a way, you know." "Well, don't you see?" "That ³³1,000 pounds i gave... i lost well, we can say it went down with the ship." "Why, yes." "And then we'll be able to get some more and buy some clothes and things when we land." "Yes." "When we land." "Fred, do you hear that?" "It's a baby." "What do you mean?" "That woman's had her baby." "How could she?" "Well, anyway, she has." "Isn't it wonderful" "i'd better go and see if i can help." "Better keep out of it, em." "They don't want us." "We'd only be in the way." "I suppose so." "There, there." "Don't cry, em, old dear." "Why, these damn chinese breed like rabbits." "We're all right, em." "We've got each other." "Oh, the poor little mite." "Gosh, isn't it ugly?" "You mustn't do that!" "You mustn't!" "No newly born baby could stand it!" "Stop it, stop!" "Don't be silly, em." "How would you like a chinaman to tell you how to manage your baby?" "Besides, look how strong it is." "I bet that chap holding it is the father." "See how proud he is of it?" "I made a nice steak and kidney pudding and i've ordered the papers and i had the wireless batteries charged." "Have issued the following gale warning." "Strong northwesterly gales all coasts of the british isles." "Rain in most districts, some hail or sleet locally." "Channel crossings extremely rough." "What are you looking at, Fred?" "I was wondering if we could get a pram down that passage." "But are we going to be here?" "What?" "Why not?" "When you get your new job as traveler for the firm, i'm going to a bigger, better house than this." "Oh, what do you want to move for?" "There won't be enough room here." "Oh, i never heard of anything so ridiculous." "We've been here for all these years." "What do you want to move for?" "That is the very reason why."