"[Woman ] What are you doing?" "[ Girl ] Dad said I was family videographer." "I'm documenting ourjourney." "[ Scoffs ]" "We're not goi ng on a journey, Sara." "We're going on a very long drive." "N uh-uh." "Dad said we're taking a journey." "Does the RV have a power port for my laptop?" "We're on a budget, and the economy model RV might not even have a toilet, but I'm sure it has a cigarette lighter." "Power port, Mom." "We don't say cigarette lighter any more." "We also don't walk around with a milk moustache... no matter how much it accentuates our booger-nose." "Sorry." "I'm too excited about our trip." "Mom, Dad has been quoted as saying this is gonna be the funnest vacation ever." "Can we getyourreaction?" "Driving across country to a family reunion, cooking, cleaning, organizing and budgeting is not fun and not a vacation." "Yet, it's what I do with my free time." "[ Engine Sputtering]" "Oh, no!" "Ew!" "No, please." "[ Sighs ] Thankyou." "[Sputtering Continues ]" " [ Horn Honking ]" " No!" "Not my gnomes!" "[ Groans ]" "He got the biggest one they had." "Now, this... is camping!" "Dad, it is so cool!" "You like it?" "Go check it out." "You think that's cool?" "Wait till yourfriends drive by pointing and laughing atyou." "Then we'll see how cool you think it is." "Brennan." "Maybe one ofthem had just told a joke." "Did you consider that?" "Yeah." "The joke was, "Look, everybody," "Brennan Newton's going on a vacation with his family in a bus."" "God, how lame is that?" "Even Jessica Donnelly saw me." "Hey, Brenn,your friends are all probably gonna stay in hotels this summer." "We're gonna sleep beside pristine lakes in the great outdoors." "And the bea uty of it is, th is rig has everyth i ng!" "So you'll never even know you left home." "That's just it, Dad." "It's home, but smaller for two weeks." "I don't even wanna go on this stupid trip anyway." " I didn't budget for this, Richard." " I know, I know." "Just look." "Come on." "Just look." "I need a new tape." "Okay." "Just look." "[ Sighs ] We can't afford this, Richard." "[ Gasps ] No way!" "Is that a DVD player?" "Yep, and a fridge/freezer, tub/shower, blender/food processor, power ports for Sara's computer, and check this out." "Instant hydraulic emergency brake." "You touch that baby, and this coach comes to a total standstill in half a second." "And what, we go sailing through the front window?" "Spring action shoulder strap seat belts, honey." "It doesn't get any safer." "[ Grunts ]" "[ Both Laugh ]" "Oh." "You don't have to worry about scrubbing it top to bottom." "It's brand new." "We're the first renters." "Very, very funny." "How much?" "Oh, uh, I don't know." "I'd have to look at the rental agreement, but just think how much we'll be saving... in restaurants, hotels, room service, room service tips." "Exactly how much is this dream house on wheels costing us?" "Oh, Richard, that's twice what we planned to spend." "A little more, actually, with insurance." "Oh, right." "Beth, I'm sorry." "I couldn't help myself." "I wanna relive one ofthe great experiences of my childhood with my family." "Uh, well, speaking offamily, your brother George called from Europe." "Huh!" "Let me guess." "He said they're not gonna make it to the reunion." "No, they're gonna make it, but they wanted us to bring something there for them." "It's gonna be delivered this morning." "What?" "I couldn't hearwhat it was." "It was a cell phone." "You know, bad connection." "Huh." "Hey, you see there?" "The extra storage capacity is already saving us headaches." "[ Scoffs ] You're pushing it, Richard." "Hi." "Yeah, uh, we would like to purchase... a DVD copy of The Shakiest Gun in the West, please." "Are you familiar with that title?" "1967, written by James Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum." "Genre: comedy/western." "Directed by Alan Rafkin." "Starring Pat Morita as Wong," "Jackie Coogan as Basch, Barbara Rhodes as Penelope Cushings... and, of course, Don Knotts as Jesse W. Heywood." "That Shakiest Gun in the West?" "Yes, that's the one." "One copy, please." " We're sold out." " [ Gasps ]" "Excuse me." "That's nasty." "This is way out of control." "It's too complicated." "I said let's steal the operating system and deliver it in person, but you said no." "Let's put it on a DVD that nobody ever buys, stick it in a video store and deliver it that way." "And?" "And... somebody bought the DVD that nobody was supposed to buy." "Oh, God, we're in so much trouble." "Okay." "We already spent the money that we got from Mr You Know Who." "Oh, my God." "Do you know what Mr You Know Who... is going to do to us when he finds out that somebody else has the you know what?" "No, what?" "I'm kidding." "[ Gagging ]" "I'm a joker." "We are dead ifwe don't get that DVD back!" "Okay, William, calm yourself." "[ Gasping ] Observe the master." "Hello, there, Qentin." "I'm wondering, how long to order a copy of The Shakiest Gun in the West?" "That would be about six to eight weeks." "Oh, that's bad." "[ Gagging ]" "Maybe we can order a copy from the guy who ordered it from you." "Yes, may we have his name, address and telephone number?" "Dude, what do I got, like Federal felony written across my forehead or something?" "Could you, perhaps, see ifyou have another copy?" "We don't." "Could you check, please?" "C-C-C" "Okay, man." "Whatever." "Just cool yourjets." "What?" "Tommy, what are you doing?" "That is completely illegal." "[ Gasps ] [ Laughs ] I'm an idiot." "Yes, yes you are, but fortunately for both of us, I am a genius." "Begin the countdown." "Ten, nine" "Richard Newton, 1715 Hauser Street." "Blast off, baby." "You hacked their system in two seconds." "That is a new record." "I don't believe it." "[ Imitating Yoda ] That is why you fail." "Stupid you are." "I hope you have a nice summer." "I didn't knowJessica Donnelly wasyour girlfriend." "Well, she was gonna be before this whole stupid trip." "But now she won't ever be." "Hey, are you filming me?" " Dad said I gotta document everything." " Give me that!" " No!" " Give me the camera, Sara!" "No!" "I got to document everything!" "Come on!" "Give it!" "Brennan, stop terrorizing your sister." " Tell her to give me the tape." " When she gets big, she's gonna kick his butt." "Give me the camera, Sara!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you guys." "Mom, she was-- You guys." "No, Sara's just doing her job, okay?" "And nobody's gonna go running into the RV, making a mess of everything Ijust loaded." "Now, organization is the key to happiness on this trip, okay?" "But, Mom, she was-- Brennan, this trip is really important to your father, so could you just try and act excited?" "Fine." "So, Brennan, Dad said this is gonna be the funnest vacation ever." "Can we getyour reaction?" "[ Sighs ]" " [ Gasps ] I'm gonna tell you did that." " Boat's hooked up." " House is locked up." " Give me that!" " Oh, oh, oh, oh." " Let's hit the road, Newtons." " You two!" " Wait." "Wait." "I almost forgot." "[ Snickers ] What's that?" "On my motor home vacation, my dad did this for us." "It made us feel like a real team, and, well, I want you to feel the same way." "Great." "That's great." "Okay." "Okay!" "Everybody turn around." "Turn around." "Turn around." "What do you think?" "Cool, huh?" "This is so lame." "Okay." "Oh, wait." "There's more." "What do you got, Dad?" "One ofthe best things about my motor home vacation... was when we stopped at a drive-in." "We sat on the roof ofthe RV in our pyjamas, ate popcorn and watched The Shakiest Gun in the West." "[ Laughs ]" "Who's Don Knotts?" "Don Knotts?" "[ Horn Honking ]" "[ Honking Continues ]" "Thanks, Mr Newton." "What is it?" "You don't know." "[ Laughs ]" " No." " Good luck!" "[ Laughing ]" "[ Animal Panting ]" "Ooh, Sara, it's gonna bite you." "Dad." "What did I agree to bring with us?" "Uh, Brennan, open it." "Why me?" "Because you're a trained Boy Scout." "You're prepared, and you're closer." "No, I'm not." "Just do it." "Open it." "[Animal Growling ]" "[ Growling Continues ]" "What?" "What, are you chicken?" "[ Panting ]" "[ Giggling ] He's huge!" "Don't slobber on me!" "Don't!" "[ Yelling ] Get him away!" "Get him away!" "Get him, Brennan!" "Get him!" " Honey!" "Honey!" " Did you see the size ofthat dog?" "[ Dog Barking, Richard Yelling ]" "Oh!" "Oh!" "[ Yelling Continues ]" "I'm okay." "I'm all right." " [Sara Giggling ] Daddy!" " Richard!" " It's not my fault." " [ Barking, Panting ]" "[ Gasps ] Beethoven, come here, boy." "[ Slobbering ]" "Oh, my God!" "Oh!" "Do you see anything?" "No!" "They must have been tipped off." "Tipped off!" "Are you sure?" "Hmm, on this particular day, they go to that particular video store... and get that particular copy ofthat particular movie that no one else has ever rented." "Look, switch to decaf, okay, babe?" "Open your eyes." "These people are professionals." "Professionals." "When my dad took me on my motor home vacation, we had a dog with us" " Spartacus." "It was great!" "Spartacus was a Chihuahua." "That sheds a trash bag full ofhair every day." "This is one part ofyour boyhood trip you're just not gonna get to relive." "No way." "Okay." "Vote, then." "All in favour of bringing Beethoven with us, raise your hand." "All opposed?" "A tie." "Okay, let's flip for it." "No, we won't." "The dog is not going." "Look, he's already caused us $200 worth ofdamage in the RV." "No." "And we're gonna have to feed him." "You know I'm gonna end up cleaning up after him." "Richard, we're gonna take him to a kennel, and then George and Alice can have him shipped from there, okay?" "Okay." "All right." "I understand." "You wouldn't put Ryce, Ted or Emily in a kennel." "And Beethoven's our cousin too." "How are we gonna get that DVD from them, huh?" "By any means necessary." "[ Brennan ] You know what?" "I think Sara is right." "The only decent thing to do here is let Beethoven take my place on the trip." "I mean, I guess I'll have to stay home." "[ Laughs ] Nice try, Brennan." "Come on." "We're all hitting the road." "What about that dog?" "That's gotta be a trained killer." "Veterinarian animal tranquillizer." "Any more stupid questions?" "Tommy, this looks complicated." "Now, you are sure thatyou know how to use it." "Excuse me." "Which one of us is the stupid one?" "Me?" "Sorry." "Yes." "That would be you." "Item number one:" "When we get into the hou-- [ Car Horn Honks ]" "[ Car Alarm Beeping ]" "They see us!" "Move!" "Out ofmy way!" "[Alarm Continues ]" "[Alarm Stops ]" "[ Richard] Let's go, Newtons." "Come on." "We're leaving now." "Come on." "We 're gonna hit the road." "Let's go." "[ Engine Starts ]" "They're on the road." "[ Gasps ] What?" "I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if seven gnomes cried out at once and were silenced." "Let's roll." "Hurry up!" "Hurry up!" "They're in front." "I see them." "Okay." "Stay behind them." "They're right in front." "Don't lose them, or we're dead." "Okay." "Losing, death, bad." "He'll be okay, honey." "[ Whimpering ]" "Dogs check in, but they don't check out." "Shut up, Brennan." "You know, we could drive right byyour school." "Sorry, sorry, Dad." " [ Whimpering Continues ]" " Bye, Beethoven." "Let's take 'em." "Okay." "[ Screams ]" "[Screaming Continues ]" "[ Barking ]" "Come here, boy." "Come here, boy." "Come here." "Hey!" "Come back here!" " [ Screaming ] Hold this!" " [ Mutters, Screams ]" "[ Screaming Continues ] Oh, with the hurting!" "Oh, that's not good." " [ Barking ]" " Whoa!" "Good doggie!" "Good doggie." "Good doggie, good doggie." "[ Screaming ]" "That dog trashed the car." "Just don't tell my mom." "[ Bill ] It's covered in cement." "Don't tell her." "She's gonna know." "[ Groaning ]" " What the heckwas that?" " Probably somebody's vintage gnome collection... that they'd painstakingly put together for the last ten years oftheir life." "I said I was sorry." "It was probably a dog someone didn't want on theirvacation, and Dad just ran him over." "Shut up, Brennan." "Sweetheart, Beethoven will be just fine, even though your mommy made him stay in that terrible place." "Oh, thanks a lot, Richard." "You're welcome, honey." "Okay, who wants to sing road songs?" "No?" "Okay." "Honey, why don't you show your mom that great trip route we programmed?" "[ Richard] That's enough, Brennan." "Ifwe make the schedule, we should be able to hit Black Bart's Village by Thursday." "You're gonna love that." "Richard, you planned this entire trip practically to the minute." "You have a map for every inch ofhighway we're gonna travel... and a schedule ofstops and attractions." "[ Laughs ] Okay, I'm impressed." "This is great." "Yep." " [ Sighs ]" " Brenn, what are you doing?" "I'm gonna watch that movie." "I can't believe I'm gonna watch it, but I'm gonna." "Two hours into the trip, and you're already bored?" "It's not my fault, Dad." "I can get anywhere I want in the world with just a few keystrokes, but I'm not." "I'm watching it crawl by through the window of a bus." "It wasn't that different when I was a kid." "We didn't have computers, but we had clubhouses." "We used to build clubhouses." " What's a clubhouse, Dad?" " Never mind." "Just watch the movie, Brennan." " Dad, this disc is a reject." " What?" "Oh, thatwas supposed to be one ofthe highlights ofthe trip." "He'll come around." "Just give him time." "[Mom ] Richard, what was that?" "Mmm,just a branch." "[ Hooting, Laughing ] Oh, yeah!" "[ Mom ] It's beautiful." "And they sure keep it clean." "[ Richard] Okay, Newtons." "Let's get the boat unhitched and start having some fun!" "Okay." "[ Grunts ] M an!" "I don't remember th is thing being this heavy." " Brennan, come here and give me a hand." " Doing fine, Dad." "[ Grunting Continues ]" " [ Screams ] - [ Barks ]" "Beethoven, come here!" "[ Yelling ]" "[Mom ] Richard!" "[ Yelling Continues ]" "Richard!" "I'm okay." "I'm all right." "I'm okay." "I'm all right." "[ Barking ]" "No, no, no." "No, no, no, no, no, no!" "No!" "[ Groaning ]" "Dad, Beethoven saved you." "He's a hero." "Sara, I was in three feet ofwater." "Okay." "I'm calm now and clean." "You did this on purpose, didn'tyou?" "What?" "Let the towing hitch hit me in the hmm-hmm?" "Threw myself in the lake and sunk the boat?" "No, you snuck Beethoven in the boat and you towed him here with us." "You did, Dad?" "Thanks!" "Ah, you're welcome sweetheart." "No!" "Wait a minute." "I didn't do that." "Look, Beethoven obviously got away from the kennel, jumped in the boat and hitched a ride here." "Pretty smart dog." "[ Mom Laughs ]" "He's an untrained, drooling hair ball." "Beethoven, sit." "See?" "Now what are we gonna do with him?" "Set him free." "He'll be fine in the wild." " He's as big as a bear." " Dad, no!" "Dad!" "Don'tworry." "There are no bears here, Brennan." "I don't see any other choice." "We have to take him with us." " Oh,joy." " All right." "The minute Beethoven causes me extra work, he's walking to California." "That's fair." "That's very reasonable." "So what happened to the boat?" "U h, it's-- They took it away." "He completely totalled it?" "No... but enough." "Look, it wasn't really all his fault." "[ Groaning ]" "Sara, let's take the dog for a walk." "He was in the boat for a long time." "Come on, Beethoven." "Brennan, come with us." "How much did you get for it?" "What?" "The boat?" "No, the shards offibreglass that we used to call the boat." "I had to pay them to take it away." "Oh." "Mm-hmm." "Oh." "Okay." "That's great." "[ Sara ] No, I'm gonna walk him." "What are you doing?" "I'm adding up everything that Beethoven's cost us... so I know how much to charge George and Alice when we get to the family reunion." "Beethoven!" "Sara, I wouldn't let him chase that thing." " Beethoven, stop!" " [ Barking ]" "Brennan!" "[ Brennan ] That's gonna stink!" "[ Animal Spraying ]" "[ Beethoven Whimpers ] Ooh!" "Sir, we've had some complaints about your dog." "[ Sighs ] I'm sorry." "He's a house dog." " He doesn't get out much." " [ Groans ]" "Really?" "Well, look, it's against park regulations... to allow fraternization between the domestic animals and the wildlife." "And from the smell ofyour dog, he's been fraternizing." "Really?" "Yeah,just keep him confined to the campgrounds, and, please, get him cleaned up;" "he reeks." "[ Groans ]" "How do I get rid of the smell?" "Well, there's only one way I know for certain." "Uh-huh?" "Tomato sauce." "[ Whimpering ]" "Any particular kind oftomato sauce?" "Something with basil would be nice." "No, no, no!" "Beethoven!" "Oh, no!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Go throw him in the lake!" "Watch the coffee, dude!" "[ Laughs ] Ice coffee." "Oh, I told you they'd never get away from me." "Do you remember how they used to laugh at me in school, William?" "All the time." "Especially the time when you were in gym class, and you peed your pants" "[ Giggling ] I'm-I'm just an idiot." "Well, who's laughing now, William?" "I don't know." "Who?" "Okay." "Here's the plan." "We wait until night." "Then we waltz in under cover of darkness." "Yes, and when the family is asleep, we grab the DVD and make a stealthy retreat." "That's a good plan." "I know it's a good plan, because I made up the plan." "You don't have to explain-- What?" "[ Yelling ]" "It's brain freeze!" "Half a cup next time, dude." "Okay, Beethoven." "Including the tomato sauce, the mop... and the boat, so far you've cost us $2,754." "You're enjoying this, aren'tyou?" "So you got any money?" "Do you have a job?" "That's what I thought." "M om, I isten to th is." "I found a great St Bernard web site." "The St Bernard dog is named after the St Bernard Pass high in the Swiss Alps." "The most famous St Bernard was named Barry, and he saved the lives of 41 people." "Wow." "The last person he saved was a little boy trapped on an icy ledge." "Barry carried the boy back to the monks at the hospice, 20 miles through the deep snow." "Oh, my gosh!" "Mom, look!" "He looks just like Beethoven." "He does." "Let's see." "Now where" "[ TV] There he is, right where he landed." "just one tooth." "Okay, time for bed." "Come on." "Are you sure Beethoven is gonna be okay outside?" "Honey, didn't you tell me he was built to live in the mountains?" " But what if he gets lonely?" " He won't get lonely, honey." "Good night, sweetheart." " Mom?" " What, honey?" "Why do you hate Beethoven so much?" "Oh, honey, I don't hate Beethoven." "I, I just haven't had a chance to get to know him yet." "Maybe by the end of the trip." " Promise?" " I, I promise." "Good night." "Wow, we got to put this on the itinerary." "A life-size peanut butter sculpture of Abraham Lincoln." "[ Laughs ] Beth?" "I used to be a nice person." "You're still a nice person." "I don't feel like I am." "Remember the summer afterwe got married?" " Mm-hmm." " You and me and the motorcycle." "That seems so long ago." "Honey, it wasn't that long ago." "I used to be an adventurous person." "I thinkyou need to get back in touch with that side ofyourself." "What side?" "The not worry, adventurous, messy side." "I can be messy." "[ Both Laugh ]" "Well, what do you call that tomato sauce bath I had today?" "A good start." "[ Whimpers ]" "Good night, Beethoven." "[ Groans ]" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Okay, okay." "Hey, hey." "Remember." "These things are 250 times more sensitive... than the human eye, so do not look into any lights." "Okay, no lights." "All right." "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy." "Why are we wearing these capes?" "They are cloaks, William, and with them we become invisible, blending into our surroundings like moon shadows between the trees." "Lock it up." "Come on." "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy." "Why are we wearing the canisters, again?" "Emergency smoke screens." "Okay." "Listen." "These things are highly pressurized and highly odiferous." "Only use them in an emergency." "No, don't touch it." "Repeat after me." "I will hold in my gas, Tommy." "I will hold in my gas, Tommy." "Good." "Follow me." "Single file." "Tommy." "There's only two of us." "Are you arguing with me, mister?" "No!" "Single file." "[ Tommy Whispering ] Okay." "Shh!" "Be quiet!" "I am being quiet!" "Shut up!" "Hold still!" "Hold still!" "Up!" "Up!" "Up!" "Push!" " What do you see?" " Two kids sleeping." "The disc, Bill." "Where is the disc?" "[ Humming ]" "I see it!" "I see it!" "It's right there!" "[ Whimpers ]" "Oh, that is really cool, Tommy." "Where did you get that?" "You're on a need-to-know basis, and I don't believe you need to know." "[ Growling ]" "[ Barking ]" "Tommy!" "That big dog!" "I, I, I" " I gotta go tinkle." " Control yourself." "[ Yelps ] You don't need to destroy us." " [ Groans ]" " Your powers are weak, old dog." " [ Barking ] - [ Grunts ]" "You are the good puppy." "Yes, you are the good puppy." "We love the puppy." "[ Smacking Lips ]" " [ Barking Continues ] - [ Man ] Here they go again." "Willyou shutyour dog up?" "You over there!" "By the camper!" "The lights!" "Don't look at the light, William!" "[ Screaming ]" "Abort!" "Activate smoke screen!" "Release your gas, William!" "[ Shouting, Indistinct ]" "Tree!" "Oh, where's the car?" "[ Shouting Continues ]" "Can't see!" "I see it!" "Let's go!" "Okay!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Don't worry!" "Oh!" "Get in!" "Get in!" " Let's go!" "Go!" " Shut up!" "You're waking up the whole campgrounds!" "[ Barking Continues ]" "[ Bill Coughing ] You're going the wrong way!" "No, I'm not." "Shut up!" "Okay, watch out forthe lake!" "[ Tyres Screeching, Both Screaming ]" "[ WaterSplashing ]" " We're very sorry, Officer." " That's, uh, Ranger." "Officer Ranger It won't happen again, Officer." "Ranger." "Officer Ranger." "If it happens again, I'm gonna have to escortyou and your dog offthe grounds." "He's not our dog." "If it's notyour dog, I'm gonna have to impound the stray right now." "[ Laughing ] What my son means is, is it's not our dog... in the sense thatyou can't really truly own an animal." "We're all God's creatures." "Well, look, just keep your dog quiet." "Yes, Officer Ranger." "[ Chattering]" "Sorry about that, fellow campers." "Situation under control." "Good night." " [ Richard Whispering ] Come on, come on, come on." " I don't believe it." "He is one of God's dumber creatures." "He's not dumb." "He saw something." "That's why he howled." "He was warning us." " What are you talking about?" " Two men." "I saw them drive away, and I recognized them from across the street at our house." "And they were following us." "[ Brennan ] It's official." "She's dreaming." " I'm serious." " Maybe he's just lonely." "[ Whimpers ] He is out here all by himself." "[ Whispering ] Let's go in." "No, no, no, no." "Beethoven's staying outside tonight, and so are you." " What?" " Honey, if he barks again, they'll make us leave." " You have to." " Oh, come on!" "Sweet dreams, sweetheart." "Beth!" "Beth!" "[ Man ] Hey, keep it down!" " Here you go, Dad." " Thanks, sweetheart." "It's for Beethoven, Dad." "[Sara's Voice ] Beethoven, you're the best dog anyone could ever ask for." "[ Beth's Voice ] You are the strongest and bravest dog that ever lived." "[ Growls ]" "[ Brennan 's Voice ] Golly, Beethoven, you're my best friend." "[ Richard's Voice ] Best friend." "It's a free-range wienie, boy!" "Go get it!" "[ Yel Is ]" "[ Beethoven Barking ] Go away!" "[ Yel I i n g Conti n ues ]" "N o!" "N o!" "Bad!" "N o, no, no!" "Nice doggie!" " H el p!" " [ G rowl ing ]" "Stay away, doggie!" "[ Brennan ] Excuse me." "Where is all the cereal?" "[ Sara ] Beethoven was hungry, so I fed it to him." "All ten boxes?" "He's a big dog, Brennan, in case you didn't notice." "[ Richard ] Okay, okay." "Stop arguing." "We'll make a dog food stop." "Hey, Brenn, I found your hat." "It was behind the sofa." "Now, how did it get behind there?" " Alarmed." "Oh, ho, ho." "They're good." " God!" "Hey, why don't you and I get some coffee over there?" "Let them do the shopping." "Okay." "Um, all right, Brennan." "Be sure to get a receipt, and get enough dog food to get us to California." "Okay?" "Right." "Watch afteryour sister, now." "Hey!" "Thanks, Dad." "[ Barks ]" "Okay, kid has the keys." "I will pick his pocket, deactivate the RV alarm and grab the disc." "What about that dog?" "That stupid dog is still there, Tommy." "It's big doggie night-night time." "Ha!" "Oh!" "I thought I told you to check for fish." "I did." "I swear." "This has got to be the last one." "[ Barking Continues ]" "[ Laughing ] Stay here." "[ Sara ] I wonder ifthey have those doggie power bars here." "Here, you just go get the stuff." "I'm gonna wait out here." "But Dad told you to do it." "Sara, you're old enough." "I thinkyou can handle it." "Yes, I can." "I know this isn't how you thought the trip would go so far." "It's not how I thought it would go either." "I just want to say I'm sorry." "Oh, Richard, it hasn't been that bad." "Okay, it's been bad, but it's the dog's fault, not yours." "You know, I still think there's plenty of laughs to be had... on this vacation ifwe just forget about Beethoven." "That's right!" "That's it!" "That's exactly what we'll do." "We'll forget about Beethoven." "Yeah." "[ ToySqueaks ]" "[ Barking, Whimpering ]" "Excuse me." "You like Hello Kitty?" "[ Toy Squeaks ] Um" "[ Chuckles ] So, Ensign?" "Is thatyour name?" "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Barking Continues ]" "[ Whimpering Continues ]" "A-Actually, it's Brennan." "Brennan Newton." " Hi." " It wasn't mine." "It was my little sister's." "I mean, it was for my little sister's friend." "He's much more entertaining than Spartacus was on a vacation." "[ Beethoven Barking]" "Then again, maybe not." "Haven't I seen you before?" "Uh, yeah, I think we saw each other on the road." " [ Screams ]" " Beethoven!" "[ Barking ]" "[ Barking Continues ]" "[ Tyres Screeching ]" "[ Barking Continues ]" "[ Car Engine Starts ]" " Dumb dog!" " [ Whimpers ]" "God." "Brennan, are you all right?" "That" " Uh, I'm fine!" "Wait a minute!" "What happened?" "Beethoven just jumped all over me for no reason!" "God, he's messing up my life!" "That's good, honey." "We got to go now." "Mister, is that your dog?" "How much?" "I'll add it up." "Man's best friend." "[ Whimpers ]" "[ Whimpering Continues ]" "Sorry, boy." "Boss' orders." "[ Groans ]" "[Sara ] What's Sumotown?" "[ Richard ] I don't know." "It was Black Bart's Old-Time Western Town when I was a kid." "Hi." "[ Sighs ] Welcome to Sumotown How many?" "Uh, two adults and two kids." "Hey, what happened to the old-time Western town?" "Eh, bankrupt." "We bought it in the early 90s." "Hasn't exactly been a cash cow, we thought." "We're selling off." "You wanna make an offer?" "Oh, oh, no, thanks." "We're just gonna catch the showdown on Main Street." "Hey, there still is a Main Street showdown, right?" "Heckyeah, partner." "[ Imitates Gunshot ] Right down there." "[ Crowd Laughing ] What?" "It's Black Bart. See the hat?" "Can see a lot more than that." "[ Richard] He's gained a few pounds." "[ Man ] Shh." "Boy, this really takes me back." "To where, Dad?" "Dad, why is he looking at me?" "[ Speaking Japanese ]" "Black Bart says, "What did you call me, boy?"" "Is he serious?" "I didn't say anything?" "Well, I thinkyou did, partner." "I thinkyou called him a liar." "[ Laughing]" "[Japanese Continues ]" "Mmm." "Black Bart says... you are a yellow belly, lowdown, gutless, tenderfoot coward dog." "[ Barks ]" "[ Crowd Chattering ]" "Are you gonna take that?" "Yeah, I am, Dad." "I'm not gonna do that." "No, I'm not gonna" "No!" "Dad!" "Dad!" "[ Laughing ]" "It's only acting, Brennan!" "[ CrowdApplauding ] Come on!" "Come on!" "[ Laughing ]" "Go, Brennan!" "Go!" "[ Crowd Cheering, Chattering ]" "[ Screaming ]" "[ Screaming Continues ]" "[ Grunts ]" " [ Whimpers ] - [ Laughing ]" "Oh, it's okay, honey." "Honey, they're not hurting him." "Brennan!" "Brennan!" "Brennan!" "[ Crowd Chanting ] Brennan!" "Brennan!" "Brennan!" "[ Chanting Continues ]" "[ Screaming Continues ]" " [ Grunting ] - [ Screaming ]" "No!" "No!" "Don't swing me!" "No!" "I'm gonna get sick!" "[ Brennan Shouting ]" "[ Grunts ]" "[ Laughing Continues ]" "[ Hooting ] Yeah!" "That a boy!" "Sumo warrior man!" "Tommy, tell me the truth." "Does this suit make me look fat?" "[ Both Grunting ]" "Whoa!" "Listen to me." "Daddy Newton has the key." "[ Coughs ]" "[ Laughing Continues ] We're gonna sandwich him between our sumo bellies, and when I'm going, "Sorry, excuse me," and he's going, "That's okay,"" "you pick his pocket, and you take the key." "[ Grunting ] What about that stupid dog?" "Tommy, I had another nightmare about him last night." "You are wearing a high-density foam, fully-naked sumo suit." "You are immune to dogs." "Okay." "Blend." "Hey, hey, what's the matter, pal?" "What's the matter?" "I can't believe you just did that to me." "I've never been this embarrassed." "They were laughing." "They loved it." "They were laughing at me, Dad." "I just thoughtyou'd enjoy doing something I did when I was a kid." "Dad, this place was lame 30 years ago, and it's even worse now." "Did you like it when you were a kid?" "Yes." "Yes, of course." "D-- [ Whimpering ] Stop, you idiot." "I'm sorry, Dad, but this, this whole trip... has been nothing but Boresville, and it hasn't even been a weekyet." "[ Whimpering ]" "[ Beethoven Panting, Growling ]" "[ Barking ]" "[ Both Screaming ]" "[ Grunts ] Thankyou." " Beethoven, no!" "Stop!" " [ Beth ] Beethoven, sit!" "Beethoven!" "You call that boring?" "[ Panting ] [Sara ] Beethoven, stay!" "What happened?" "Oh, strangely, Beethoven ran away again." "[ Both Shouting ]" "[ Shouting Continues ]" "Get in!" "Get in!" "[ Grunting ]" "I told you we should have taken your mom's minivan!" "[ Engine Starts ]" "[ Both Screaming ]" "[ Barks ]" "Good job." "Come on, Beethoven." "[ Man Shouting InJapanese ]" "So what did Black Bart say?" "I don't know." "He took my cheque, though." "Those barrels are apparently antique." "It was those guys again." "Here we go again." "The bad guys are following us." "Shut up, Brennan." "Brennan, be nice to your sister." "Sweetheart, remember when you thought that blanket in the closet was a grizzly bear... or when you thought the neighbours were stealing yourpyjamas?" "What's your point, Mom?" "Honey, those bandidos were just actors." "How come no one believes me?" "No one except for you, Beethoven." "[ Pinball Machines Beeping ]" "Beethoven!" " [ Growls ]" " Hey, that's my pack!" " Is that your dog?" " [Sara ] Yeah, sorry." "Actually, he's mine." "Oh, hi, again." "Hi." "Oh, I'm sorry." "[ Laughs ]" "I wish we could have brought our dog on our trip, but he had to stay in a kennel till we got back." "A kennel?" "That's tough." "I think putting a dog in a kennel is just... cruel." "That's what I told my parents." "So, I'm Brennan." "I know." "We met before." "Oh, right." "Um, sorry." "It's okay." "We kind of got interrupted before." "Um, I'm Penny." "So where you guys headed?" "Some family reunion in California." "I got anotherweek and a half stuck in that RV with my family." "Tell me about it." "This has been our most boring vacation ever." " The worst." " My dad is on some mission to give us a killervacation." "I know." "My dad's gone totally insane over this trip." "My whole summer's gone-- wasted." "And by the time I get back, it's gonna be time for school again." "Yeah, same here." "Well, I'm down there." "Bye." "Bye." " Good night." " Good night." "So ask her for her phone number." "[ Whispering ] Shut up, Sara." "That's a good idea." "Here." "I was gonna ask, you know." "Um, here's my itinerary too." "Maybe we'll stay at the same place again." "Maybe." "Okay." "Bye." "Bye." "Good night." "Bye." "Bye." "Let me hold him." "Why?" "You don't like him." "What are you talking about?" "I love dogs." "Especially St Bernards." "Whatever." "# On the road again #" "#Just can't wait to get on the road again #" "# I found love is making music with my friends #" "# And I can 't wait to get on the road again #" "# On the road again #" "# Goin 'places that I've never been #" "# Seein ' things that I may never see again #" "# And I can 't wait to get on the road again #" "# On the road again #" "# Like a band of Gypsies we go down the highway #" "# We 're the best of friends #" "# Insisting that the world keep turning our way # N o, Beethoven." "Don't do that!" "J ust get h im away." "# And our way #" "# Is on the road again #" "# I just can 't wait to get on the road again #" "# And I found love is making music with my friends #" "# And I can 't wait to get on the road again #" "[ Flatu lence ]" "Oh!" "Oh!" "[ Richard ] You fed him what?" "Oh, look at this!" "He burned a hole in the couch." "[ Beth ] Who fed him eggs?" "# On the road again #" "Beethoven!" "# Like a band of Gypsies we go down the highway #" "# We 're the best of friends #" " # Insisting that the world keep turning our way #" " Beethoven!" "[ Wh imperi n g ] # And our way is on the road again #" "[ Yel Is ] # I just can 't wait to get on the road again #" "# And I found love is making music with my friends #" "# And I can 't wait to get on the road again #" "# No, I can 't wait to get on the road again # [ Dra i n Belches ]" "# Oh, I can 't wait to get on the road again ##" "Oh!" "It's tota I ly clogged with dog hair!" "We have to find the main junction sewage control." "That's the only way we're gonna dump the waste water now." " Can I just say one thing?" " Yes, you can." "And you know whatyou can say?" "You can say," ""I will not open my big fat mouth, Tommy, until we find the DVD!"" "Tommy, listen, we have been following those Newtons for a very long time now." "Duh, whiny pants." "You think I don't know that?" "Well, I don't know what you know, 'cause you said it was gonna be so easy." "So help me God, ifyou don't shut up, I will make you eat sand." "What are we doing?" "We are having a problem." "Yeah, yeah, I know that!" "It's been like a week, and we don't have the DVD yet!" "I will make you eat sand!" "We're having tyre trouble!" "We're not having tyre trouble." "The tyres are perfectly fine." "You just pulled over and jacked up the carwhy?" "[ Tyre Deflating ]" "You popped two tyres, and we only have one spare." "Lord, you gave him brains, but he does not think." "You gave him a mouth which he never shuts up!" "Listen to me, you brussels sprout." "With two slashed tyres, it's twice as likely... that the Newtons will pull over to help us." "So, we will wave them down, ask them to take us to the nearest gas station, and while we are on board the RV we will take the disc without anyone knowing." "Blast off!" "What?" "What, what?" "Your plan is brilliant, Tommy." "I'm, I'm, I'm sorry that I doubted you." "Oh, it's okay." "I know." "It's just I need coffee." "You know, Dad, I was thinking it might be fun to stay at a hotel for a night." "No way." "They don't let in pets." " [ Beethoven Groans ]" " The RV's a hotel on wheels." "I don't know, Dad." "Ijust thought it might be fun." "And I found this really fun-looking place." "A four-star hotel." "Doesn't that sound great?" "No." "They don't let in pets." " Ohhh." " Begin the countdown." "Ten!" "Nine!" "Wave your arms." "Wave your arms." "Eight!" "What's this sudden interest in hotels?" " Down, boy!" " [ Beethoven Barking ]" "Get him off the brake!" "The brake!" "[ Tyres Screeching ]" "[ Beethoven Whimpering ]" "Sara, honey,you can't let Beethoven do things like that." "It's very dangerous." "[ Sighs ] Oh, here it is." " [ Beth ] Here's what?" " The main sewage control valve." "Oh, boy, I'm glad I found that." "When we get to the next campground, remind me to dump the tanks... or it's gonna get really stinky in here." "[ Screaming ] It's number two!" "Sara, how far to the next stop?" "Only about ten miles, Dad." "Oh, you're gonna love this, Brenn." "This place is rad." "Rad?" "It's the biggest toy train in the world." "Boy, I loved it when I was a kid." "Wow, Dad." "I can't wait." "[ Train Whistle Blowing ]" "This is so lame." "Let's go, Beethoven." "The kids are really getting attached to Beethoven." "I think they like him better than they like me." "Nah, I'm just being insecure." "Not necessarily." "Thanks, honey." "I feel better now." "You know, Richard, I think that dog is consciously trying to sabotage our trip." "Beth, he's just a dog." "Honey, he can't consciously ruin anything..." "I don't think." "Nah, that's crazy." "What would his motive be?" "Revenge, for the kennel thing." "[ Whistle Blowing ] [ Girl Laughing ]" "You know, one thing about him does bother me, though." "Hallelujah." "How do you think Brennan and Sara are gonna take it... when we have to give Beethoven back to my brother?" "That's gonna be a tough one." "Yeah." "[ Train Chugging]" "This is smaller than I remember." "[ William Yelling ] Whoa!" "[ Laughing ]" "[ Laughing ]" "[ Grunting ]" "Yes." "Bill." "Bill!" "[ Grunts ] Tommy!" "What happened?" "Tommy, come here." "It is so nice in here." " [Sara ] Beethoven, stop!" " [ Beethoven Barking ]" "Hey!" "Beethoven!" "It has a coffee maker!" "When we get rich, can we get one of these?" "Yeah, uh-huh." "Look, do you have any idea how easy it is for cops to track down an RV this size?" "They will swoop down on you in a hot second, and the next thing you know, you're spending 15 to 20 years as the restroom attendant... at a one-star Federal lockdown facility cleaning unflushed toilets with a toothbrush." "Club-Fed I think not." "I never thought ofthat." "Well, thinking is not whatyou do best, William." "No." "Fetch the DVD." "Yes." "Oh." "Oops." "I-I'm not having much luck." "[ Gasping ]" "Oh, who toldyou we'd find it?" "Yes!" "You did." "You da man!" "Yes, I am da man!" "Let us vacate." "[ Barking ]" "Tommy!" "He looks even bigger up close." "Yes, he does, William." "Why didn'tyou close that door?" "You were the last one in." "Here's an idea-- run!" "[ Screaming ] Let me out of here!" "[ Beethoven Barking ]" " [ Grunts ]" " Oh, God, let me out!" "[ Muttering ] Tommy!" "[ Groaning ]" "Hey!" "Out ofthe way!" "[ Screaming ]" "Tommy!" "Wait!" "No!" "Tommy, wait!" "Oh, thanks!" "Now what are we gonna do?" "It's-It's not so bad." "The windshield is broken." "Richard." "Notyour side." "I don't know what I'm so worried about." "You got insurance on the RV." "We're covered." "We're motoring along." "It's still a vacation." "Good, honey." "That's a good attitude." "No, it's not." "It's a lie." "This is a disaster." "This whole trip has become a catastrophe because of that dog!" "He didn't mean it, Mom." "Yes, he did!" "[ Insects Buzzing ]" "Mom, Dad, you know that hotel I was mentioning?" "It's pretty close by." "We are not staying in a hotel." "I didn't stay in a hotel on my childhood motor home trip, and we ain't staying in one now." "We 're fine right here in our home on wheels!" "Everyone got that?" "[ Both ] Whoa." "[ Wh imperi ng ]" "I th i n k Beethoven has to go." " Honey, you agree?" " No, I mean number one." " Stop the RV." " Oh, no, not ag" "[ Gagging, Choking ]" "Heimlich!" "Heimlich!" "[ Choking Continues ]" "Make sure Beethoven goes good, 'cause we're not stopping again until we get to California!" "[ Groans ]" "All I wanted to do is give my family a great vacation." "It's been one disaster after another." "This is even worse than the motor home vacation I had as a kid." " What?" " I thoughtyou loved that trip." "I hated it." "[ Insect Buzzing ]" "Well, then why do you keep telling us how much you loved it?" "Because I wanted to remember it that way." "I wanted to forget how bad it really was." "And the truth is..." "it was horrible." "My brother and I fought the whole 2,000 miles." "And Spartacus, our dog, was car sick." "Can you believe that?" "A car sick dog." "It was horrible." "My mother" "My mother kept telling us how much fun we were having, but we weren't having any fun." "My dad drove himself crazy trying to make sure we had fun." "It's okay, Daddy." "We know how you feel." "Yeah, Dad." "We know exactly howyou feel." " [ Barking ]" " Oh, shut up!" " [ Whimpering ] - [ Insects Buzzing ]" " Ow!" " Honey!" "I'm okay." "I'm all right." "[ Beth ] At least we're out ofthe bug zone, honey." "[ Richard] That's it." "We're taking a night offfrom this vacation." "We're staying in a hotel." "[ Brennan ] Yes!" "[ Beth ] The dog has eaten up all our reserve cash." "We can 't afford to stay in a hotel." "[ Richa rd ] Beth, we ca n't afford not to stay i n a hotel tonight." "I'll take these inside, and I'll be back for the others." "We have adjoining rooms available." "However, we do not allow animals in the rooms." "Hotel policy." "If I made an exception, I could get fired." "Is this really that great a job?" "Dad, Beethoven has to be able to stay too." "[ Beethoven Panting ]" "He wouldn't even need a bed." "He's the quiet type." "So how does it look?" "I can't find her." "Who?" "What?" "Who can't you find, honey?" "[ Muttering ]" "The gift shop." "The gift shop." "Oh." "I just thought I'd get something... for Aunt Alice and Uncle George from the gift shop." "Uh, keep me company, Beethoven." "[ Beethoven Whimpers ]" " Please." " Policy." "Sara, honey, Beethoven's just gonna have to spend the night in the RV, okay?" "Honey, stand up." "Stand up." "Come on, boy." "Let's see how good you are." "Find her, boy!" "Find her!" "[ Sniffing ]" "[ Barking ]" "Beethoven, your nose is a genius." "Come on, boy." "## [ Cartoon Soundtrack ]" "[ Door Opens, Closes ]" "Are you sure Beethoven's gonna be okay in the RV all alone?" "We gave him his dinner." "He's been walked." "He has water." "He's got his own bachelor apartment." "Honey, he'll be fine." "Now, Mommy and I are gonna go to sleep early." "So just stay in the room, okay?" "Can we stay up late, watch movies and eatjunk?" "Sure." "Just stay in the room." "Okay?" "Yeah, Dad, I got it." "Okay." "Good night, guys." "Good night, Dad." "Good night, Dad." "[ Whimpers ]" "Good night, Beethoven." "[ Whimpers ]" "[ Brennan ] Penny Miller's room, please." "Thankyou." " Who?" " Shhh." "Mrs Penny Mill-- I mean" "[ DeeperVoice ] Uh, yes, Mrs Penny Miller, this is, um, the front desk, and we thinkyou may have left some personal items at the pool today." "Um, would you come down and claim them, please?" " Ooh-ooh." " Um, tomorrow morning?" "Uh, yes, I suppose that would work out fine." "Thankyou." "What happened to "Hi, it's Brennan." "We met at the campground"?" "Um..." "[ Laughs ] you're too young to understand these things." " Are you gonna go meet her?" " Tomorrow, I guess." "Fine." " See ya." " What are you doing?" "Didn'tyou hear what Dad said?" "What do you think you're doing?" "I'm gonna sleep with Beethoven so he won't get lonely." "Mom and Dad are gonna be really mad." "Only ifthey find out, which they won't because you won't tell on me." "Because ifyou do, I'll tell them aboutyou and Penny." "Deal?" "Deal." "He's hyper-normal." "He's canine, but he's some kind ofhybrid." "He's some kind ofmutant, you know?" "He's some kind of" "That's it!" "I'm-I'm awake, huh?" "G.S.A.!" "Governmental Species Alteration." "They take alien brain tissue, and they put it into ordinary household pets." "That dog is an alien!" "He's canine, but he's not canine." "He's alien, but he's not alien." "He's superintelligence in one giant, dumb-looking package." "This is clever stuff, William!" "Dude, man, are you okay?" "I'm all right." "I'm all right." "And-And do you know why?" "Because I just hacked into the country's main credit card network... and I asked forthe last place where Richard Newton used his credit card!" "That's why I'm all right." ""Early-On-Inn, Early-On-Inn. "" "We're goi n g to tra n k the d isc a nd gra b the dog." "N o, no!" "That would be wrong." "We're going to trank the dog and grab the disc." "Yes, 'cause that's how it goes, and that's how it always goes." "[ Cackles ]" "Then, go!" "I'm ready!" "Drive!" "Drive!" "Beethoven, I missed you so much." "Come on, Beethoven." "Here we are." "Oh, thankyou." "Personal items, huh?" "I thought it was you." "You did?" "I recognized yourvoice." "You did?" "[ Together] So, how's yourtrip?" "You first." "It's okay." "Yours?" "It's good now." "So-- So" "You want to take a walk?" "Cool." "No way!" "It's true." "Beethoven was chasing them, and they just got so scared... they shoved themselves into that little car and peeled out." "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard." "Beethoven's like the coolest dog I've ever seen." "Well, next to Puddles." "Who's Puddles?" "My dog." "Well, my dad named him Puddles... after he made a mess in my dad's favourite chair right afterwe got him." "I know whatyou mean." "Beethoven's made a lot of messes out ofthings on my trip." "At least it's not boring like my vacation." "Well, actually, this is the best time I've had all trip." "Me too." "So, where's Beethoven now?" "He's in the RV." "Can we go visit him?" "Sure." "Tommy, it says here, "Beverage extremely hot."" "Oh, hot, hot, hot." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Gasps ] They forgot to turn the alarm on." "Uh, good, good." "[ Panting ] One more sip." "[ Gulping ]" " What if it's a trap?" " Listen to me!" "On the count ofthree, we open the door and trank the dog." "Ohhh." "No, no, itwon't hurt him." "He'll just go sleepy-sleepy." " Oh." "Oh." " Begin the countdown." "[ Rapid Counting ] What?" "[Beethoven Whimpering] Ten, nine, eight, seven-- Three, two, one!" "Eight, seven" "Where is the coffee?" "[ Clattering ]" "[ Beethoven Growling ]" "Did you hear that?" "Hear what?" "The dog growling." "Uh, yes." "Why did you say, "Hear what?" Why didn't you just say, "Yes, I heard the dog growling"?" "Because, well, there is no dog." "Focus." "It's just the motor home settling." " Okay, okay, let's get moving." " What?" "Let'sjust get the DVD and go." "We are!" "Except this time no mistakes." "This time we're taking the whole motor home." "[ Engine Starts ] [ Sighs ]" "H ey, look, it's the RV." "Hey, Dad!" "Wait a minute." "That isn't my dad." "Somebody's stealing the RV!" "Yeah, hi." "Is this Club Canine?" "Yes, we have a dog we need picked up and kennelled for a few days." "Yes, I'll hold." "Honey, what are you doing?" "George and Alice can have him shipped when they get to the reunion." "I'm sorry." "I should've done this a thousand miles ago." "I don't want you to have a bad trip." "He's gonna be okay." "It says here that Club Canine has a four-biscuit rating." " Didn't we try this already?" " Yeah, but this time he's gonna stay." "Yeah." "He's 185 pounds." "No, I'm not kidding." "[Knocking At Door]" "Hold on a second." "Brennan, what's going-- Oh, hello." "Dad, someone just stole the RV!" " What?" " Sara was in it!" "She said that Beethoven was lonely, so she went to keep him company." "I should've toldyou, Dad." "I'm sorry." "[ Richard] What?" " Richard!" " I found it!" "Who told you we'd get it?" "You did, Tommy." "Who's the man?" "You are, Tommy." "[ Barks ] Shhh." "Beethoven." "Maybe they won't know we're here." "Go check it out." "I don't want to." "Check it out!" "Go!" "Did you find anything useful?" "Seventy-three empty coffee cups in the car." "The car's a hunk of junk." "Well, we know that." "Who are they?" "What do they want?" "Who's chasing them down to get my little girl back?" "Calm down, Mr Newton." "We've got every unit in the area looking for 'em." "We don't even know ifyour daughter's in the motor home." "I just told you so!" "Mr Newton, we're doing everything we can." " [ Chattering]" " No, you're not!" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "I'm going after my little girl." "Hang on!" "[ Brennan ] Go, Dad!" "Yeah!" "[ Tyres Screeching ]" "[ Shuddering ]" "[ Barking, Growling ]" "Be a man, William!" "[Barking Continues ]" "Doggie night-night time." "[ Barking ]" "[ Both Screaming ]" "Oh, my God!" "We're kidnappers." "Tommy, you never said nothing about us being kidnappers!" "Shut up." "You're babbling." "Stop babbling and let me think." "Think about what?" "We are going to jail!" "Panicking is not allowed!" "Tommy, you said nobody was gonna get hurt!" "Well, no one has been hurt, so shut up!" " No, no, you shut up!" " No, you shut up!" " You shut up!" " No, you shut up!" " You shut up!" " You first!" "You shut up!" "La-la-la, can't hearyou." "Can't listen to you." "You know, you're gonna get in a lot oftrouble for this." " Yeah." " Okay, might as well go Code Three." "[ Siren Wailing ]" "Go ahead, floor it." "Stop this, or I'm telling your mom!" "Stop it now!" "[ Groaning ]" "I'm gonna... be taking..." "a nice little nap." "[ Siren Continues Wailing ]" "When we catch up, are you gonna shoot out the tyres or something?" "You watch too much television." "We can't risk hurting the girl." "What should I do?" "Get up ahead of'em and slam on the brakes." "What?" "Stop!" "You're going too fast!" "You're gonna crash us!" "You should've thought ofthat before you tried to stow away." "And before you tried to steal the operating system from me, little girl!" "[ Barking ]" "[ Tyres Skidding ]" "Or should I say..." ""secret agent"?" " Beethoven, he's crazy!" " [ Barks ]" " [ Barking Continues ] - [ Gasps ]" "William!" "Will" " Ah." "Toro!" " [ Growling ]" "Toro, come on." "Come on." "Come on." "You want some ofthis." " [ Barking ]" " Go get him, Beethoven!" "Come on!" "[ Screaming ]" "Stop it!" "He's hot!" "You want a piece of me?" "[ Tommy] William, get out here!" "[ Grunting, Muttering ] God, we're moving." "William!" "We're gonna crash!" "Get" " Stay down!" "[ Sara ] Beethoven, get up!" "[ Siren Continues Wail ing ]" " Beethoven!" " [ Beethoven Snarling ]" "Beethoven, please... sit!" "[ Gasps ] No!" "No!" "Stand!" "No!" " Oh, my God!" " [ Siren Continues Wailing ]" "[ Tommy] No, don't sit!" " [Sara ] Good boy!" " [ Screaming ]" " [ Whimpering ]" " Whoa!" "[ Tyres Screeching ]" "[ Screaming Continues ]" " Sara!" " Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Honey, I'm so sorry we didn't believe you." "Beethoven saved me, Daddy." "Yes, he did." "He did." "[ Indistinct Whispering ] Hey, she's okay." "Beethoven, I was wrong aboutyou." "You are a hero." "[ Chuckles ] Oh, honey, I love you." "Hang around." "You're under arrest." "I want a large black coffee... and two sugars." "And can you make it fast?" "You will not arrest me." "You will give us only a parking ticket." "You are getting sleepy." "Lock him up, tight." "Sleepy." "You are sleepy." "You are all sleepy." "Watch your head." "What did they want with us?" "This." "It's got a stolen computer code on it." "It's a shame." "This was a good movie." "Don Knotts gave the performance of his career." "You know he put on weight for that role?" "He did?" "I saw it once at a drive-in when I was a kid." "My dad took us across country in an RV once." "Not as nice as your dad's rig, though." "Mr Newton... you thinkyou can avoid borrowing any more squad cars?" " I think so." " Have a nice trip." "Thankyou, sir." "Okay, come on, guys." "Let's go." "We're almost there." "[ Laughter, Chattering ]" "[ Beethoven Whimpering ]" "Come on, guys, cheer up." "At least we got to spend two weeks with Beethoven." "It's not like we're never gonna see him again." "Hey, this will give us a good excuse to visit Uncle George and Aunt Alice." "Right?" "[ Boy] Throw it!" "[ Whimpering ]" "I didn't buy it, either." "Okay, let's find George and Alice and get this overwith." "Come on, honey." "Richard!" "Richard!" "Beth, hey!" "Uncle Morrie!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "Ah, you look good." "You look good, Richard." "Hey, you too." "Hey, wear this." "Give me a little hug there." "Ahhh." "And the kids-- Look at the kids." "I can't believe it." "Five years, and look atyou guys." "You're all grown up." "Hey, have George and Alice and the kids arrived yet?" "Oh, I gotta tell you about that." "Georgie called and said he's no gonna be able to make it to the reunion." " They're not coming?" " No." "They had a problem in "Bratisloba."" "Somewhere." "Business-wise." "And they're gonna have to extend theirvisit for at least anotheryear." "[ Together ] What?" "And so he asked me to askyou ifyou wouldn't mind... taking care ofthe dog until they get back." "[ Beethoven Barks ] He said he'dpay for everything." "George?" "My brother said this?" "Said he'd pay for everything." "We'd be happy to take care of Beethoven." "Good." "Happy to hearyou say that." "Uh, something else." "You rememberyour cousins, uh, Ted and Sally?" "Sure." "They live an hour away from us in Colorado Springs." "They had to leave in a big hurry." "I mean, the hot dogs weren't" " Really?" " Anyway, since you're going to be passing their house, they thought maybe you could drop something offfor them." "Sure we can." "Wait." "What is it?" "Tiny!" "Baron!" "[ Whistles ]" "Cool!" "[ Dogs Barking]" "No." "No, no." "No, no, no." "It's okay." "It'll be great foryou." "You're doing great." "No, I'm not." "# On the road again #" "#Just can't wait to get on the road again #" "# I found love is making music with my friends #" "# And I can't wait to get on the road again #" "# On the road again #" "# Going places that I've never been #" "# Seeing things that I may never see again #" "# And I can 't wait to get on the road again #" "# On the road again Like a band of gypsies... #" "You live in Denver?" "You're kidding?" "What school do you go to?" "Rid gecrest H igh." "You too?" "N o way." "Really?" "# And our way is on the road again #" "I s your little sister videotaping us?" " Sara!" " I gotta document everything!" "# I found love is making music with my friends... #" "[ Beth ] Beethoven, not the toilet!" "Sara!" "Get away, Sara!" "# On the road again... #" "Here, Brennan." "Yeah, like this." "Wait a minute." "Don't break things." "Stop." "[ All Laughing ]" "Wait a minute." "Oh, my God." "[ Chattering, Laughing Continue ]" "How come everybody's hitting me?" "[ Barking ] Beethoven, help me!" "Help me!" "I'm recording this." "[ Richard ] Honey, this is great." "I'm so proud ofyou." "[ Beth ] I'm not cleaning this up!" "You better controlyourselves!" "[ Beethoven Barks ]"