"I had the world by the balls." "Want details?" "Okay." "I had more money than I knew what to do with." "A respected lawyer." "In demand." "And my wife." "Was beautiful." "From a wealthy family of timber barons." "And then..." "I threw it all away." "Honey, please, put the gun down." "Who is she?" "There's no one." "Is it that bitch Sandy again?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "Is she good in the sack, Brooks?" "I'm gonna call, Dr. Nessbaum, okay?" "Is she young?" "We're gonna talk this through." "You, me, and Dr. Nessbaum." "Is that why you're leaving me again this weekend?" "Give me the gun." "Where'd you get this thing?" "It's not loaded." "Have you been taking your medication?" "You're not gonna tell the doctor are you?" "What, that you threatened to kill me again?" "Whose the woman you're meeting this weekend, Brooks?" "Amanda we've been through this a dozen times." "I'm doing work for an out of town client." "I don't like these weekends away anymore than you do." "Then take me with you." "You know I can't do that." "I don't believe you." "I'll see you Sunday evening." "Brooks darling, please don't leave me..." "I have to go." "I'm glad I didn't shoot you Brooks." "Me too." "It would've been far too lenient." "Adulterers like you should be stoned to death like they do in the Middle East." "You know why don't you, why don't you hold that thought." "And we'll discuss it when I get back, 'Kay?" "You're not the only ones with plans this weekend Brooks." "I have a few plans myself." "So professor, what you're saying is that there is such a thing as divine reciprocity or karma if you will, and that we all get our just deserts in the end." "I don't know if it's divinely inspired or not, we now have scientific evidence supporting the idea of what goes around comes around." "Hey Leonard, It's Brooks Caldwell here, I'm calling about Amanda... seems she stopped taking her medications again." "Could you give me a call as soon as you get this, I'm on my cell." "Thanks." "I'm talking about God's laws, one man, one woman, one life time on this earth, and woe to the wicked sinner who thinks differently." "You took forever..." "That's dangerous activity you're engaged in." "Thanks... but I've already had that 9th grade health class." "I don't mean your smoking." "Then what?" "The magazine you're reading." "Come again?" "It'll turn you into a misandrist." "A what?" "A hater of men." "My God, okay." "You know, maybe some men deserve to be hated." "Want proof?" "How to tell when he's lying, 8 free and easy ways to invesigate his background, how to know if you're dating a sociopath." "Well, I'm not done with reading this thank you very much." "I just read it for the fashion." "Sure." "That's the bait they use to lure you... helpless and unsuspecting women in..." "The bait?" "Mmmhmmm." "It's to buy it." "It's when you start reading the articles, 'ehhhh, that's when the real brainwashing begins." "You know, the only person trying to brainwash me around here is you Mister." "Yeah?" "Look at this." "Why the married man you're having an affair with is probably just using you, I mean, where do these broads get all off really." "Well, is that what you're doing?" "What?" "Using me?" "Come on I m here, aren t I?" "I m with you every chance I get." "What more do you want from me?" "I just don t understand why our situation has to be so difficult." "I mean you tell me your wife is crazy and you hate being married to her, you guys don't have any children." "I mean, come on you could leave her this weekend if you wanted to." "It's not that simple Heather." "It's the money, isn't it?" "She's your meal ticket." "I wouldn't say that." "I..." "I have my own career, in fact, my job pays very well." "Yeah, but you've said it yourself, all of your clients or most of them are connected to her family." "They would all drop you if you leave her, right?" "Some might." "And her income is from a trust fund that you can't touch." "How do you know about that?" "I know about her family." "The Smiths own all the timberland around here." "They've been exploiting the people and the resources of this area for decades." "Some people might call that creating jobs." "She has life insurance, right?" "Yeah." "So?" "It would take care of the mortgage and probably a lot for you, too." "I m not sure I like the direct..." "ion this conversation is headed." "Look, all I'm saying is that all of our problems would be solved if she were to..." "What?" "Unexpectedly die." "Really?" "It could be made to look like a suicide." "Okay..." "No, seriously!" "You've told me yourself she's tried to kill herself before, right?" "Will you listen to yourself..." "I mean just... just listen to yourself." "What?" "Self defense!" "That's even better." "I mean it is well documented that she has threatened to kill you in the past." "Who are you?" "We can do this." "Together." "Just us." "I would share the risk with you." "Alright, that s enough, Heather." "Enough of this conversation, okay?" "I don't want to talk about it anymore." "I guess that I just thought that I could believe you when you told me that you really loved me." "Come on... come on." "You know I do." "But you love your wife, too." "Yeah." "I mean, No!" "No!" "I didn't mean that." "Hell!" "Come on!" "I didn t..." "I didn t mean it like that!" "What I meant was I..." "I love her like I'd love a relative, you know?" "A family member." "Go away!" "Come on!" "Open the door, Honey!" "Leave me alone!" "You know I should be the one that should be mad here." "You just just asked me to kill my wife, you know." "You know what?" "Maybe you should go home to your psycho wife before she tries to kill herself again." "Seeing how you love her so much." "Why don t you say that louder so everyone in the hotel can hear you." "You know what?" "I can see how somebody being married to you would want to kill themselves." "I seem to recall your confessing to me about your own suicide attempts, sleeping pills, wasn't it?" "Screw you!" "Go away!" "All right!" "Fine!" "Fine!" "I'll be out here when you're ready to talk." "Jesus!" "This time it s loaded, Brooks!" "No!" "Heather?" "Honey?" "Heather?" "You in there?" "Heather?" "Heather?" "God!" "God..." "God!" "911, what is your emergency?" "Yes..." "Sir?" "What is your emergency?" "I'm sorry, I..." "I miss dialed." "C'mon Brooks!" "Think!" "Think!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Son of a Bitch!" "Fuck!" "Fucking hell!" "Shit!" "Hey, I'm Chuck." "Hey." "Looks like they got you, too." "Who's they?" "Probably some kids last night." "Yeah, they drained me dry." "A few others, too." "Manager says the police are on their way." "What room you in?" "I'll come get you when they show up." "I'm..." "I'm not staying here." "Do you know if there's a gas station nearby?" "Yeah." "There's a service station about 15 miles down the highway south of here." "Thank you." "Seein' as you have a..." "high bird, you should probably make it." "Right." "Less they did anything else to your car." "Why?" "What do you mean, anything else?" "Sure you don't want to wait for the police to show up?" "You know file a report?" "I'm late as it is." "Thank you." "Appreciate it." "The physical laws of sowing and reaping are just as immutable as the law of gravity." "Whatever a man sows, that very thing, shall he reap." "Sir..." "Excuse me." "May I help you?" "Yeah." "I..." "I..." "I can't seem to get this thing to work." "This is a full service station, sir." "I'm going to pump that gas for you." "Sorry." "What do you need?" "Can you fill her up with premium, please?" "Pay inside." "Okay." "Thank you." "Hum." "Morning." "Morning." "Can you tell me the..." "quickest way to get to" "I-5 from here?" "You're a long ways from I-5." "What I'd do is head back north about 25 miles and link up with Highway 165." "From there you take 410." "You're looking at about an hours drive." "Yeah, I know that..." "I actually came that way..." "I was just wondering if there was a way to reach the interstate without going back the way I came." "No, sir." "Not really." "Well, what I mean is..." "if I keep heading south on the highway here, is there a way I could eventually find a... a different route?" "I'm sorry sir." "Not any way that I know of." "Great." "Are you staying in the area over the weekend?" "Hum?" "I say are you in the area over the weekend?" "No." "I'm just kinda exploring." "I'm an explorer." "So you're from Seattle?" "No... no." "Not Seattle exactly." "I'm just..." "I'm just from around." "Thank you." "here." "On second thought, I'll just pay with cash." "That'll be fine." "Thank you." "Okay." "There you go." "Thank you." "If you'll pardon my asking, sir." "Is everything alright?" "Yeah." "Everything's fine." "Why..." "why... why do you ask?" "No reason." "Thank you." "What has he done to my car?" "Hey!" "Excuse me!" "Can I help you?" "What... what... what the hell is that?" "I noticed this pool of water under your car." "What?" "It's just as I suspected." "You've got a hole in your radiator." "A hole?" "That's... that's impossible!" "This is a new car!" "If you look down here, you'll see that your fan belt broke and because the fan itself was probably loose, it slashed your radiator." "That's crazy!" "Then why isn't there a water trail leading into your parking lot?" "It must have just happened when you pulled in." "And wouldn't I have heard something?" "Not necessarily, sir." "This sort of thing happens all the time." "Goddamn it!" "I was told there were some kids messing around with people s cars back at the motel." "They must have done this." "You were at a motel?" "Over at the Seasons?" "No... the guy who told me said he was... was staying at a motel." "Well, sir, if this is a new car." "Someone might have loosened your fan." "Is there a reason someone would want to do that to you?" "No..." "Look, forget I mentioned it... how long will it take for you guys to fix it?" "We could sell you a new fan belt that'd probably work." "Okay, Great!" "But someone's going to have to bend that fan back in place and patch up the hole in the radiator." "We're just not set up to do that here." "Can't you make some calls and find out if someone in the area can help me?" "Okay, Bob, thanks." "I'll tell him." "Well, we ran into a bit of luck." "Thank God!" "There's a repair shop up in Creechville that can do the work." "Where?" "Creechville." "It's about 20 miles away as the crow flies." "It's an old logging town." "I've never heard of it." "I mean I've never driven through it." "Well, you wouldn't drive through the place." "It's not on the way to anywhere." "Like I say, it's just an old logging town." "One road leading in and out." "And there are people up there who know how to work on a Lexus?" "Well, they just need to bend your fan back in place, patch up the radiator." "You know them?" "They come down here to buy parts from me now and again but mostly people from Creechville stick to themselves." "Well, how... how do I get my car up there?" "We can probably hammer it back into shape but it won t be a long term fix." "You'll have to replace it with a new one when you get back to the city." "I don't understand how something like this could have happened without my noticing." "So what about the radiator?" "It's a pretty big gash." "We can patch that well enough for you to make it home but then you're going to need to get you a new radiator too." "How long is all this going to take?" "Well, we can start on it this afternoon." "We could have it ready by... tomorrow morning around 10." "I need to be out of here today." "Look... if it's a matter of money, I'd be more than happy to pay whatever is necessary to make this a priority." "Sir, your business is a priority to us, but I m..." "I'm sorry, tomorrow is the best we can do." "Is there a hotel nearby that I could stay at?" "Well, we got a motel here in town, but it s probably too run down for your taste." "Yeah... yeah." "There s a much better place about 40 minutes away, probably passed that on your way in." "It's not far from where we picked you up at." "I'll just have Fran here drive you down." "Thanks all the same, but I..." "I'd sooner just... just stay here in town near the car." "I d be happy to drive you over to The Seasons." "I..." "I don't know if you're familiar with it, but the rooms are real nice." "Real nice." "I'm sure it's nice, but I'd prefer to just stay here." "Suit yourself." "I'll call and let them know you're on the way." "Okay, so where is this place?" "So just head down this road, then make a left on the main street and just keep going and you'll run right into it." "Thank you." "I'll give you a call over in the morning when your car is ready, sir." "Thank you." "That the guy?" "Yep, that's him." "Left on main." "Keep going." "You can't miss it!" "Excuse me, sir." "You know where the..." "where the motel is in town?" "Sure, go down to the stop sign, make a right, can't miss it." "Thank you." "I'm Bill Creech." "I'm..." "I'm Brooks." "We don't get visitors here very often." "Well, I can see why..." "I've lived in Washington for years and it's the first time I've heard of the place." "We're off the beaten path." "That's certainly an understatement." "We were a logging town for years." "The timber company pulled out in 89, some folks decided to leave." "Most of us refused to let this place die." "Hi, Cindy!" "Hi Bill!" "Cindy, this is Brooks." "Hi, Brooks!" "So you're a lawyer?" "How'd you know that?" "Sorry..." "I used to work in a law office and you attorneys just have a certain look about you, that's all." "Really?" "What... what kind of look is that?" "You know." "I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean anything by it." "Please excuse me." "I need to get to work." "Well, it was nice chatting with you, I'd better get... checked into my room." "I'm sure we'll see you again soon." "Wow." "Hello?" "Hello!" "Just hold your horses!" "Auck!" "I'll be there in a minute!" "Can I help you?" "Yes, I would like a room for tonight, please." "You have to wait til my husband, Bruce, comes back." "Well... can't you just help me?" "Well, sir, if I could help you, I probably wouldn t have told you that you have to wait until my husband comes back." "Okay." "Look, my name is Brooks." "I already know who you are." "I just got off the phone with Stew." "Hi, can I help you?" "I thought you left." "This is the guy." "Hi, I'm Bruce and this is my wife, Greta." "Charmed." "Yes." "We, already met." "So... then just for tonight?" "Let's hope so." "Do you prefer a king bed?" "Sure... whatever." "I just need a $10 deposit for incidentals." "You gotta be kidding me!" "God..." "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again." "Wow!" "Just a minute!" "It's you." "Hi." "Do you know where I might..." "Bruce!" "You gotta love that small town hospitality." "My apologies about that." "How's that room working out for you, sir?" "Just peachy." "Can I help you?" "Yes." "Do you know where I might go to get a drink around here?" "Yeah." "Walt Porter's place, just around the corner from here." "Thanks." "You be real careful out there tonight, sir." "Thank you." "BAR SOUNDS" "CROWD GOES QUIET." "Excuse me, I'll..." "I'll have a beer." "You don't look like you're from here." "Thank you." "You're kinda funny looking." "How about that beer?" "Ma'am..." "Jeez... what does a fella have to do get a beer in this place?" "You want some of mine?" "What?" "Would... you..." "like... to..." "mine... share with me?" "That s a tempting offer but I m the kinda guy that likes to drink his own." "Thanks." "Well, if you change your mind, the offer still stands." "Hello?" "Ma'am?" "Hello?" "Hey Ricky!" "Did you lose a boot?" "Give 'back!" "Throw it over here!" "Lose one?" "It's more like he found one?" "That was funny." "Thanks, I think." "I'm Walt Porter." "I own this bar." "Hi, I'm Brooks." "Is this..." "where you... throw me out on my ear?" "Hell no." "Your business is welcome here." "Becky, I think I heard this gentleman order a beer a moment ago." "Thank you." "So, you're that Seattle attorney with the Lexus over at" "Stew's shop" "How is that everyone seems to know who I am?" "Well, the truth is... you left some of your legal paperwork in the car and Stew and the boys over there took note." "Is that so?" "Shoot, all the better for you as I see it." "How's that?" "Nobody wants to do slipshod work on an attorney's car." "I wish that were true." "It's a nice place you got here." "Not really." "But it s the only place in town folks can go to get a drink." "Not like those fancy places, I bet you go to up in Seattle." "Not that fancy." "Howdy!" "The name's Curtis." "Hi." "I understand you're a lawyer, Sir." "I am." "Do you know much about divorce law?" "Enough to steer well clear of it." "Would you mind if I asked you a question?" "Sure." "I ve been married for over 30 years." "My wife moved out last month and now she's got this lawyer down in Pierce County" "And they're going to try to take me to the cleaners." "Now, what I wanted to ask you was can... can they do that?" "I... supported her for over 30 years and she did nothing but sit home and get fat, and now, according to her attorney she can take everything I own and force me to support her for the rest of her life." "I hear you, Curtis, but uhm, unless you signed a Pre-Nup, there's really no getting around the... community property laws in this state." "Community property!" "That's where she gets to keep the property and you, my friend, get to live out in the community." "Smells like communism to me." "Curtis!" "It's the screwing you get for all the screwing you got!" "So my client says to me before his divorce trial, I know I m going to take it up the ass on this one, your job is so that they don't pour sand in the Vaseline." "I told my boss how I lost the trial." "He said, "Did the client pay in full?" When I told him yes, he said, "You won that one!"" "So the judge sentences him to 500 years on all 14 counts and when the Defendant protested, the judge just smiled and said, Don t worry Mr. Ramirez, you can cut that time in half with good behavior."" "Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug" "Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug" "You got some real funny stories, Counselor." "You made me feel better." "Hey, Walt." "Who is that guy?" "That there's Bobby Creech." "I think I met his dad today?" "No, you met his granddaddy." "Why is he so broken up?" "Found out this afternoon that his wife's dead." "That's too bad." "The handwriting was on the wall if you ask me." "Old Heather had all sorts of problems, mental and otherwise." "Including trying to sleep with every guy..." "Wait, wait a minute." "Did..." "did you say her name was... was Heather?" "Yeah, good old pill popping Heather." "That lady was the biggest whore in the county." "I tried to warn Bobby before he got married to that bitch." "Wouldn t ya know he didn t talk to me for almost a year after that." "What, what happened to her?" "Well, they found her around noon sprawled out on the bathroom floor in some motel up the highway." "Mo... motel?" "Yeah, the Seasons I think it was." "She'd overdosed on sleeping pills, You know, she's trying to take her own life." "Trying?" "She was in a coma when the cleaning lady found her." "She died later at the hospital." "She was... alive when they, when they found her?" "Yes, sir." "Apparently, they said at the hospital if somebody had found her even just an hour sooner, she probably would have pulled through." "God." "You want to know the real rub of the whole thing?" "What?" "She wasn't alone in that motel room." "What?" "You don't think she'd be staying in a motel all by herself?" "That woman?" "Well, how... how do you know for sure?" "Well, it seems some folks at the motel saw him leave her room this morning in an awful hurry." "The way I figure it, whoever this guy was that she was banging probably woke up this morning and found her on the floor." "Taking her for dead, not wanting to deal with the cops," "I think he just decided to get the hell out of Dodge." "But then, being an attorney, you probably see this stuff all the time..." "Anybody, anybody know who this guy is?" "No... not yet anyway." "Not yet..." "Well, she was seeing three different guys, not counting her husband, Bobby, of course." "Of course." "So the Creech s and some other folks are trying to track down the identity of whoever this guy was that was with her at the motel." "They're blaming whoever he is for Heather's death." "Can't say I blame them for that." "So they're... they're trying to find this guy so they can... they can turn him into the police, right?" "Well, maybe, but..." "I think it's going to be a little more than that." "What do you mean..." "more than that?" "Well, you didn t hear it from me but... well what I mean to say is I assume we can have a little attorney/client privilege here?" "Yeah, sure." "A couple of years back, Heather was carrying on with a biker dude from Ashford." "Biker dude?" "Yeah, they were having an affair and being right out in the open about the whole thing..." "And..." "And... the Creeches approached the guy about it." "So, Mr. Badass tells the Creeches to go screw themselves." "Then what?" "And then Mr. Badass Biker Dude up and disappears without a trace one day." "Well, maybe... the guy just decided to move on." "Yeah, well word around the campfire, he moved on up the mountain where he's buried under 18 feet of dirt courtesy of our town's elder citizens." "Th... th, that's just a rumor right?" "I don't know." "Heather didn't seem to think so." "You actually think they want to kill this guy, I mean... assuming they find him right?" "They'll find his ass alright?" "You can count on that." "Hey Walt!" "Can we see you over here for a minute?" "That's Johnny Creech, Bobby's brother." "I'd better go pay my respects." "You just sit tight, Counselor." "I'll be right back." "Can I get you anything else, hon?" "No, I'm fine." "Where's the restroom?" "Through the kitchen, down the hall." "Can't miss it." "Thank you." "C'mon man, pull yourself together." "No one here knows shit." "Hey Counselor, where are you off to in such a hurry?" "Walt, thanks for the drinks, but I..." "I, gotta get home to bed." "Son, let me buy you another round." "I really need to get some sleep." "Come on, Counselor, just a quick nightcap with some 10 year old whiskey I just opened." "Okay, just a small one." "Now you're talking." "Here's to ya!" "No Sir, this one's for you." "That's good." "Aww..." "I needed that!" "Yeah, I needed that." "Thanks." "You know, Brooks, it's been a real pleasure having you here in my place." "Naw, the pleasures all mine." "You take care now." "You too..." "Give me his room key." "Fuck!" "What the fuck!" "Shit!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "You!" "I want to talk to you!" "You!" "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here." "I've been robbed!" "My, my,..." "my, my laptop, my phone!" "My room has been ransacked!" "I don't know about that!" "What I do know is that you came in here last night drunk as a skunk and screamed profanities at my wife." "What!" "I was not drunk last night!" "Yes!" "You were!" "You also threatened us." "Now, get out of here before I call the police!" "Where are my belongings?" "I want them right now!" "You get out of here and don't you ever come back here again!" "You've not heard the last from me!" "Don't come back!" "You couldn't pay me to!" "Cindy, Cindy..." "Hold... hold on a sec, wait, wait... wait, wait." "Hold on... wait!" "You seen Walt Porter?" "Please, Mister, don't drag me into this." "Drag, drag you into what?" "What are you talking about?" "Look you're in grave danger." "You need to get out of here!" "What do you mean?" "I never met you before in my life." "Now, please leave me" "Alone!" "Wait... wait a minute!" "No!" "Get your hands off of me!" "Help!" "What kind of game are you people playing?" "Leave her alone!" "Shit Bird!" "Kay." "Walt!" "Hey Walt!" "You in there?" "It's closed, Asshole!" "I can see that." "Thank you." "Walt!" "Open up!" "Nobody wants you here." "Why don't you just leave!" "And why don't you mind your own business, dumb redneck!" "What did you call me?" "A dumb red..." "Fuck!" "That fucking hurt!" "That's right!" "Run home to your Mom!" "You little pussy!" "Hey!" "Can I help you sir?" "Yes, you can help me!" "You can help me by getting my car right now, please." "I'm sorry, sir." "I don't understand." "My Lexus, the one I dropped off yesterday." "The one that was supposed to be ready by now?" "Just get my fucking car and bring it out right now!" "Sir, we don't have your Lexus here or any Lexus for that matter." "Is that so?" "Well, then you won't mind if I take a look around just to make sure." "Sir, is this some kind of joke because it's not very funny." "Where the fuck is my car?" "What the fuck did you do with my car?" "I think you need to leave." "Mister." "You know what?" "I've had just about enough of the little games you people are playing here." "Well, I don't have your car." "Well, then you better find it before I smash your skull against this wall like an egg!" "There he is boys!" "There he is boys!" "Hey Counselor!" "What are you running for?" "We just want to talk to you is all!" "We, we ain't gonna hurtcha!" "Thank God!" "What the hell you doing out here?" "I came from Creechville." "Creechville?" "That's like three miles away!" "?" "Yeah, I know." "Look, can you give me a ride?" "Please?" "Where do you want a ride to?" "Anywhere, just away from here." "Someplace where I can... you know, make a call." "I'm sorry, I can't do that." "Against County Policy." "Well, well... if you can't do that then why'd you ask me where you could take me?" "I don't know, I was just curious, I guess." "Look, sir." "This is... this is a life and death situation." "I'm sorry but I could lose my job." "Loo, loo..." "lose your job?" "Who would ever know." "I don't know." "I could be drunk at a bar and just let it slip." "Who knows?" "Look, I..." "I, I have a bunch of crazed lunatics who are trying to kill me!" "Can you please, for the love of God, give me a lift out of here!" "I'm begging you!" "Please!" "I said no." "Now, I've got to get back to work." "No, no please!" "Don't go." "It, it, it's okay." "Just a ride." "Not far." "I don't need to go far." "Just a little ways further, please." "Wait... wait!" "Whoa... whoa, whoa, wait." "What's up?" "Can I help you?" "Yeah, is this your place?" "My folks." "What... what do you want?" "You guys, you're not from Creechville, are you?" "Where?" "What is Creechville?" "We're not hicks okay?" "We're from Tacoma." "I'm sorry, I need your help." "I ran into a little trouble back there." "What kind of trouble?" "It's just some people who are after me." "Do... you don't have a phone here by any chance, do you?" "Hey boss, why are these people after you if I may be rude" "Well, that's the that's the million dollar question." "I don't know." "I have no idea." "No reason?" "No reason!" "No." "Not at all." "So, basically, what you re saying is these people over in" "Shitsville just randomly picked your name out of a hat and said Let s get this Motherfucker!" "Kind of." "So... do you have a phone I could use?" "Well, that all depends..." "On what?" "What are you talking about?" "Either you have a phone or you don't!" "Whoa, easy Boss." "See, I think that actually depends on how much you're willing to pay for the privilege." "Pay?" "Okay, okay." "Fine." "I'm perfectly happy to pay." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Son of a Bitch!" "Fuck!" "They took my money!" "Fuck!" "Your life s starting to sound like what the ancient Greeks would call a Tragedy, Dude." "Sorry, Buddy." "No money... no phone." "Okay, Look, I'm..." "I'm a lawyer, okay." "I've got plenty of money." "If you let me use your phone, I will send the money to you as soon as I get home." "I swear to God." "Yeah, right!" "Yeah." "Yeah!" "Why don t I just give you my P.O." "Box number, Mister?" "Alright, this... this is a Rolex watch." "It's yours if you just let me use your phone." "That looks like a phoney." "What!" "?" "That is a knock-off!" "It is not a knock-off!" "This is a Rolex Oyster Perpetual" "Time Change." "This is worth minimum... minimum three grand on E-Bay." "Let me scalp it." "Let me get this straight..." "you're going to give us a three thousand dollar watch..." "Yeah..." "Just to use our phone." "Yeah, just for thirty seconds..." "just so I can call the police." "The cops?" "You said you're an attorney, right?" "Yes." "Okay, what do you think the cops are going to do when they come here and see a bunch of under age kids having a party?" "Duh, Dumbass Lawyers Man!" "You need to get out of here!" "Okay, this is bullshit!" "Give me back my watch!" "Hey, I wouldn't do that if I were you!" "I need to borrow your phone!" "Hey Jerk!" "Yeah, Hi!" "I need to report..." "Hey, hey, okay, okay... okay, I'm leaving." "I'm leaving." "Let go of me!" "Told you not to come in here!" "Private Party!" "Motherfucker!" "Fuck You!" "Anybody home?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Ma'am, I'm so sorry." "I, I..." "I didn't mean to scare you." "No!" "an intruder!" "No, no, no ma'am... you..." "you don't understand, I..." "Vicious criminal, now I suppose you're going to take me as your bounty and force me to do your bidding." "What?" "Now you're going to rape me, aren't you, you beast!" "Lady, I..." "I don't want to hurt you." "I just want to use your phone." "Very well, you animal!" "It appears as if I have no choice in the matter." "I will submit to you." "You may do with me as your lustful, depraved desires dictate." "Are you listening to me?" "I assume you want to tie me up." "What?" "There's some rope in my bedroom." "No, no..." "I, I really don't." "No, wait, stop that!" "No, look lady, I just need your help, okay?" "I see." "You like to be hurt, don't you." "No!" "One moment!" "Wait... wa... wait!" "Wh... wh... wh... where are you going?" "No, no, no... no, put that down!" "That hurt!" "Knock it off!" "Ed, you fucking asshole!" "First you re over an hour late getting here and then you fuck everything up by not playing along!" "So you know what?" "I'm not in the mood anymore." "I d appreciate it if you d just leave now." "Look." "First off, my name is not Ed, it's Brooks, and I have no idea what you're talking about." "So your online name isn't King Kong Dong?" "No, I..." "I don't have an online name." "Then how did you end up here?" "Howdy." "Howdy." "You guys aren't cops are you?" "Seen a man around here today?" "Mid-30's, short hair, blue shirt..." "Squirelly looking guy?" "That's right." "Yeah, we kicked his out of here." "'Bout how long ago?" "Like 40 minutes..." "I'm not talking to you." "That sounds about right." "You know which direction he went?" "That way, sir." "Come on." "Now my life is in danger..." "And yours too probably if they catch you with me." "So could you please... please just find it in your heart to let me use your phone?" "Brooks, honey, of course, but the things is this cabin doesn't have a phone." "Alright, we, well, do you have a cell phone I could use?" "I do, but there's no reception out here." "Shit!" "Wait... wait, I saw a car!" "You have a car here right?" "Maybe you could drive me someplace where I can call the cops." "It would really mean a lot to me." "Baby, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go out there right now, it could be really dangerous." "That's why I need to call the police." "You know you're much more handsome than the pictures" "I saw of Ed." "Baby, you seem really up tight." "Why don't you let me run you a hot bath." "Thanks, but I think I really should be..." "You can stay here with me for a few days." "You'll be safe here." "We only have one bed, but I'm sure we can share." "Look, you're very nice, but I really just need to use your car." "Hey!" "Asshole!" "I m throwing myself at you here." "You know how many men would kill to be in your position?" "Well, I..." "I..." "I m very flattered..." "I just need to get out of here." "Well..." "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Buster!" "You know what you are?" "Yes, in a hurry." "You're nothing but a spoiled rich little brat!" "You think you're too good for me." "Sorry, this is a life or death situation." "I need your keys." "Yesss!" "Ma am, I'll bring your car back as soon I can and" "I promise I won't put a dent on it." "Now step out of the car, Mister!" "Move It!" "Please don't do this." "Drop the car keys!" "Dropping." "Scram Faggot!" "If I see you around here again, I'll blow your fucking brains out!" "Okay." "Hi..." "My God, sir." "Are you alright?" "No, I'm not." "Wha... what..." "where am I?" "You're in Ashford." "Pierce County?" "Yes." "Okay, I need to use your phone." "Well, we have a pay phone out front." "No-no." "You don t understand." "I don t have any money" "This is a very urgent matter..." "I need to call the police." "Do you have a phone in the store I can use?" "No sir." "I'm afraid we don't." "Okay, what about you?" "Sir?" "A cell phone... cell phone." "Do you have a cell phone" "I can use?" "Yeah..." "I have cell phone, but before I call the police" "I need to know what s going on here so I can tell them something." "Okay... where do I begin?" "Well, what happened when I woke up this morning and well, it's just too long of a story." "There's a lot of people after me..." "It s a matter of life and death." "I need to call the cops." "Please... please... please I m begging you?" "Please." "Please..." "Okay, I'll call the police for you." "Thank you!" "Thank you." "Look, I don't get good reception in here so I'm just going to step outside and..." "Okay..." "Call 'em." "You stay right here." "Don't touch anything." "Of course." "Thank you." "Thank you again." "Creechville Police, May I help you?" "Hi Betty." "Is that you girl?" "Yeah." "No!" "So are you going to make it to the BBQ at Hanks?" "Yeah, I was hoping to, but I got called into the store, so I'm actually in Ashford until 10." "So what's going on?" "Well, I got here about an hour ago and you will not guess who just walked in asking me to call the police for him." "I..." "I don't understand what's taking so long." "It's... it's been almost 40 minutes." "You did tell them it was an emergency right?" "Yes, sir." "I told them." "They said they're on their way." "Look, I'm..." "I'm very grateful for your help, but I think I'm going to try one of the houses down the street and see if they'll let me call so I can find out what the delay is, okay?" "No, I wouldn't do that, they should be by any minute." "Look, I would hate to have them show up and you're not here, especially seeing how it was me who called them." "I'll be right back." "Somebody call for the police?" "Hey, Tammy." "Hi boys." "Hey, Fellas." "Little out of your jurisdiction, aren't you?" "You Brooks Caldwell?" "You know who I am." "Mr. Caldwell, we have a warrant for your arrest." "Warrant for what?" "I have the right to speak to a lawyer." "You're a lawyer aren't ya?" "Yeah." "Guess you'll have to talk to yourself, then." "Fuck You!" "Asshole!" "You watch it!" "Jeez." "What kind of place is this?" "What's the matter, Man?" "Not cozy enough for you?" "Who's there?" "Just me." "Who's me?" "I'm Mark." "Well, Mark, you certainly have a cozy enough looking cell." "Well, thank you." "You a prisoner too?" "I am, but now that you're here they made me the jail trustee." "You're kidding me right?" "Naw, and if I were you, I d watch the way you talk to these officers here, unless you want to do some time in the hole." "You mean that this isn't the hole?" "There's someplace worse than this?" "Hell yeah." "Well, I take it you spent some time in it." "A whole month." "Man, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy." "That's why I'm warning you." "Thank you, Mark, but I don t belong in here." "They re lacking proper... venue and jurisdiction." "They illegally arrest me without any basis probable cause." "When I get with my civil suit against these clowns, I m gonna own this one-horse town." "They re gonna rue the day they put me in here, I can tell you that." "You know that was the exact same thing I said when they hauled me in here." "Can I step around?" "This is a little awkward talking to you like this..." "And can you please shut the lid on that?" "That shit has been bugging me for three weeks." "Wait, wait a minute." "Your cell door doesn't lock?" "Well, not exactly." "I mean, it locks." "They just allow it to stay unlocked." "You mean, you... you, you can get out of here?" "Yeah, I mean, they'll let me out to go to church, see my family twice a week and other stuff." "It's just a privilege" "I've earned over time." "Over time..." "How, long have you been in here?" "I don't know, Man." "2... 21/2 years give or take a month." "Two and a half years." "Holy shit!" "Look Mark..." "I m an attorney and a former prosecutor at that." "This type of municipality that we're in has limited jursidiction." "They can only prosecute midemeanors." "They can't hold anyone over a year." "Yeah, yeah." "Look man, what I don't think you're grasping here is that they do things a little differently around here." "Well, that's bullshit!" "Okay?" "They still have to follow the law." "So, what are you allegedly in for anyway?" "Well, basically I've got problems with alcohol." "I'm an alcoholic and..." "I have or at least, I had problems with anger." "Those are not crimes." "Trust me." "Well, that's what I'm in here for, Man." "Okay, let me back up..." "when you were in court what did the judge say you were charged with?" "Court?" "Yeah." "Judge?" "Yesss." "We don't have judges in this town." "I've never been before a judge for anything in my life." "Well, then who ordered you into this place?" "The Elders." "Come again?" "You know the... the, town elders, leaders." "Totally uncool types." "Look, I don t know who to break this to you, but your elder leaders, or whoever they are, do not have the legal authority to confine you, me or anyone else for that matter." "Well, I guess you can tell 'em that yourself when you see them tomorrow morning." "What?" "Yeah, I overheard the officers talking about it." "You did?" "Hum." "What di... did you happen to hear what they... they, they're supposedly charging me with?" "Well, no, but I'll tell you this much." "Whatever it is, it's something heavy." "What do you mean, heavy?" "Cause they usually don t lock anybody up in here before they see them." "They don't?" "Well, there was this one other time that I can think of..." "Who was that?" "Just this... this really weird biker dude." "Totally negative energy, too." "Well, what happened to him?" "I don't know." "I woke up one morning and he was gone." "Never saw him again." "Karma." "Mark?" "Who?" "Heather?" "Hi, Baby." "Heather." "They..." "They, they said you were..." "That I was dead?" "Yesss." "God... it's so good to see you." "It's great to see you, too, Honey." "God, you have no idea what's been going on." "These people, they're... they're crazy." "They think I'm responsible for your death." "They might have exaggerated my situation a little bit." "Just a little bit?" "I'm sorry, it's just... it's really funny to see you like this." "Look, Heather, this is no joke." "You gotta talk to these people help clear it up, you know..." "Yeah, I know." "I've talked with them." "I doubt there's going to be anything to clear up though." "What do you mean?" "Wha..." "What do they have me in for?" "Look, you gotta help me." "I'm afraid I can't do that." "What the hell are you talking about?" "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm in a fucking cell, Heather." "Wow!" "You know the last time you saw me, I was laying on the bathroom floor of the motel." "Taking me for dead, you were all too ready to just leave me there, without even the dignity of calling the authorities." "I'm sorry." "Heather..." "I..." "You wiped down the room, you did everything you could to conceal the fact that you were with me and then I show up alive and all you can talk about is you and your own situation." "A situation, I might add, that you are responsible for creating." "I..." "I, I do love you." "Yeah?" "You know the only person that you love," "Brooks, is yourself." "No, no... no, I, I..." "I mean it." "I do love you, and I, I want to prove it to you." "But first you got to get me out of here." "You've got to call my lawyer." "Yeah... you have something you could write with?" "I'm sorry, I can't do that." "And even if I could, I wouldn't help you." "I get it." "It's like that, I see." "Well, why aren't you in this cell with me?" "I mean you are married to that that slob in town." "Why aren't you being punished as well?" "Answer me that!" "I ve never been married, Brooks." "And when I do marry someone, I doubt he's gonna be from a place like this." "What are you talking about?" "You know, as a feminist, I abhor men like you." "So you're a feminist now?" "Is that it?" "Where did ya learn that?" "Metropolitan Magazine?" "No, wait... it's probably Oprah, wasn't it?" "Actually, it was at Harvard." "Harvard!" "Don't make laugh!" "Harvard!" "Harvard undergrad and Princeton for graduate school." "Who are you?" "I'm Heather Smith." "Your wife's second cousin." "What!" "?" "I know it s a little awkward for us to be meeting like this but of the two family functions I've attended since you married" "Amanda, you were too busy playing golf with your country club buddies." "Bitch!" "You lied to me!" "You told me your name was Heather" "Gratzer from Eatonville." "That s what you told me!" "Every man alone is sincere." "At the entrance of a second person, the hypocrisy begins." "Emerson." "Cut the shit, Heather!" "Just tell me what the fuck is going on!" "This is an old company town, silly." "Smith Northwestern" "Timber?" "And they happen to hate people like you." "Although I can t say I really blame them for that." "What did you show up for then?" "I just came here to let you know how much I despise you and how repulsive I found sex with you to be." "Repulsive?" "Yeah... and maybe just to also let you know how much I'm gonna enjoy your punishment." "Wait... wait!" "Where are you going?" "And one more thing, I happen to be a contributor to Metropolitan Magazine and, contrary to what you may believe, I don't hate all men, just you." "Bye" "Wait!" "Don't go!" "Heather!" "Come back!" "Heather!" "Come on, Dickweed!" "Wake up!" "You've had your beauty sleep." "Turn around." "Hands behind your back." "Where are you taking me?" "Across the street." "What's across the street?" "You'll see soon enough." "I'm personal friends with the State Attorney General." "When I m through with my complaint, you'll be lucky to get jobs as mall security." "Shut up!" "I demand to know where you're taking me!" "Don't give us any shit, Punk!" "Don't even think of trying anything in here." "Stand there and face front." "The Lodge will come to order." "I declare the Creechville" "Grand Lodge of Elders open for supplemental disciplinary proceedings against a non..." "member, non-resident pursuant to Chapter 7, Paragraph 1 of the Lodge Charter Revised 1922." "Let the record reflect that the accused is now present." "What are you talking about?" "I haven't done anything wrong." "I'll take that as a plea of not guilty, Mr. Caldwell." "A plea to what?" "I don't even know what I've been accused of." "Let the record record that the accused pleads not guilty." "Will the worthy Sargent-at-Arms please bring in the first witness." "His sexual proclivities, I would say they were demented, if not perverse." "Just being around him, made me nauseous, his slightest touch made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in disgust." "Yet, somehow, I just kept reminding myself how important this was for my dear cousin." "And I managed to find the strength to go on..." "It was the fact that he could leave me there for dead..." "I was entrapped." "Now, Greta, you re sure Mr. Caldwell was trying to lure you up to his room for sex?" "Yes." "In his last call down to the office, he insisted there was a problem which needed my immediate attention." "What... what exactly was the problem?" "He said there was an issue with the springs in his bed mattress and he wanted me to come up and look at them." "That is absurd." "I mean, look at her!" "Does anyone think for a minute that I would have anything to do with that woman?" "I mean, come on!" "Mr. Caldwell, this is your last warning!" "This tribunal will tolerate no further out..." "bursts from you!" "It was his beady eyes that creeped me out more than anything." "Bedroom eyes you might call them." "Can you be more specific?" "The way he stared, like he was undressing me with his eyes." "I felt like I was being visually raped by this man." "I was only able to drive him away at gun point and I shudder to think what he might of done to me if I had not made it to my shotgun in time." "I just wanted to borrow her car!" "Silence that man!" "Gentlemen, I see no useful purpose in hearing further testimony." "I think we've delved quite sufficiently into the seedy, sordid world of this depraved man." "You have been confronted today with incontrovertible evidence of your own licentious and perverted conduct." "And you," "Mr. Caldwell, stand accused by your Creator." "I now put the question to the full Lodge." "All those in favor of a guilty verdict?" "Guilty." "Guilty..." "Brooks Caldwell, you have been found guilty of adultery, spousal abandonment, lechery, and inflicting mental anguish all against the peace and dignity of a community member." "You've sown the wind, Sir, and now you will reap the whirlwind." "Amanda." "Amanda!" "Mrs. Caldwell, you wish to address the tribunal?" "Yes, I do." "You know Brooks, you were nothing when I met you, just another obscure young lawyer in the big city." "I'm sorry, Honey." "All the exclusive clubs that you spend so much time away at, you would have never gotten into, if you hadn't married into my family." "I, I..." "I know I have problems..." "All the clients my father sends you... all the vacations and homes and everything else, all because you're married to me." "I promise that I will, I'll seek whatever counseling is necessary if you would just give me one more chance." "You know the worst of it, Brooks?" "Your complete lack of respect for me, I gave you everything you could have ever wanted and when I was most vulnerable, you took advantage of me and betrayed my trust." "And even worse, you thought I was too dumb, too inept to figure out what you were up to." "I asking you to... to forgive me, please." "Yes, Brooks, I can forgive you." "Thank you..." "Thank you." "But I cannot let you go unpunished for what you have done." "What do you mean, punished?" "How you doing Counselor?" "You gotta help me." "Make them stop." "Sorry, Kid." "Once the bull craps, you can't stuff it back inside." "Please..." "It'll be quick." "I promise." "Mark!" "Mark!" "Hey, Take our picture." "Oooh." "Okay, Man, got it." "Check the screen, make sure my eyes weren't closed." "Yeah, man, you guys look great." "Wha... why are you doing this?" "Hey, man." "Don t take it personally." "I mean they were going to do you anyway." "It's just that well, they said if I participated they'd let me out of that stinking cell for a couple of hours." "Help me... please, help me." "Sorry, Man, I gotta go." "Brothers and Sisters!" "This wretch before you today stands convicted of despicable and heinous crimes against the community." "There can be only one punishment for such crimes." "It is not of our making, it is as our God demands." "Was it not Jesus who said, "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone?"" "How fortuitous of you to say so, Mr. Caldwell." "It just so happens that we have an honored and, I might say, appropriate, guest to cast that very first stone." "Amanda..." "What are you doing?" "Make them stop." "Citizens of Creechville, perform your duty!" "No..." "Amanda, No, No, No..." "NOOOOOOOO!" "Heather?" "Heather?" "What's wrong, Brooks?" "Thank God!" "Thank, God!" "It was just a dream!" "It's just a dream!" "What's going on?" "A nightmare, but it was so real... so, so vivid." "I'm sorry." "I'm done, Heather." "I'm going back to Amanda." "Look, if this is about last night." "No... no." "I m going to see a priest first." "I m going to go to confession." "I'm going to go to confession and then I m going to come clean to my wife, and beg her not to leave me." "Yeah." "What are you talking about?" "I've been a terrible husband." "But that's all going to change." "Starting today." "Amanda!" "How'd you find me?" "Wha... what are you doing here?" "I put a GPS tracker on your car!" "Didn't your mommy and daddy ever teach you to knock?" "Wha... whoa, what are you doing?" "This time it's loaded, Brooks." "It happened so quickly!" "I remember that sound." "The thud of the first bullet." "I was shot four times." "One of the doctors called my survival a miracle from" "God." "He said I was blessed." "Yet, I hardly feel blessed." "I had the world by the balls." "I had more money than I knew what to do with." "A respected lawyer, in demand, and my wife was beautiful from a wealthy family of timber barons and then I threw it all away." "Hi Brooks." "Whaddya say, we change out that catheter?" "Yeah, I guess you could say it's the screwing I get for the screwing I got..."