"Okay, Michelle, now I'm gonna teach you your first joke, okay?" "All right, now, when I say, "Knock, knock," you say, "Who's there?"" " Okay." " Okay?" " Knock, knock." " Who's there?" " Boo." " That's not funny." "No, you're supposed to say, "Boo, who?"" " Why?" " Well, because that's part of the joke." "I say, "Knock, knock." "Who's there?"" ""Boo." "Boo, who?"" ""Don't cry, it's only a joke."" " Got it?" " Got it, dude." "Good." "[KNOCKING]" " Who's there?" " It's Dad." "Dad, who?" "Oh, you don't know your own dad?" "Don't cry, it's only a joke." "[DANNY  JOEY LAUGHING]" "Wanna play?" "Not right now, Michelle." "But you're my favorite sister." "Really?" "I'm your favorite sister?" "That's so sweet, but I'm kind of busy right now." "Today, they made me editor of the school newspaper." "What do you think of your favorite sister now?" "Eh." " Hey, babes." "D.J.:" "Hi, Steph." "Wanna play?" "You're my favorite sister." "I am, really?" "Did you hear that, D.J.?" "Enjoy it while it lasts." "Let's play shadow." " No, thank you." " No, thank you." " I said, no, thank you." " I said, no, thank you." "Okay." "Okay." "I'll do anything Stephanie says." "I'll do anything what Stephie says." "Stephie says, "Stop playing."" "Stephie says, "Stop playing."" "It was worth a shot." "It was worth a shot." " Hi, D.J." " Hi." "Hi there, Tanner tots." "Oh, great, Kimmy's here." "Oh, great, Kimmy's here." "You guys sound just like my parents." "Okay, copycat, I'm gonna go eat broccoli." "Okay, copycat, I'm gonna eat some ice cream." "All right, Madam Editor." "Give me a job on that paper, and we are gonna rule the school." "You wanna work on the paper?" "I've never even seen you read a paper." "I read papers, whenever I'm in line at the supermarket." "Well, I don't think we're gonna need any articles about finding Elvis on Mars." "It was Venus." "Come on, I need an extracurricular activity so it looks like I care about the stupid school." "I'd really like to put you on the paper, but the only thing left is sports editor." "That's perfect for me." "You don't know anything about sports." "Sure, I do." "My mom used to be a professional wrestler." "Please?" "You're my best, best, best friend." "Oh, not the puppy-dog face." "[WHIMPERING]" "Oh, not the whimper." "Okay, you've got the job." "Just don't lick my face." "All right." "Thanks, D.J." "I'm one of those people who writes for a newspaper." "It's called a journalist." "Really?" "It sounds so geeky." "Hide me!" "Hide me!" "Hide me!" "Hide me!" " Thanks, you guys." "MICHELLE:" "Thanks, you guys." "JOEY:" "All right." "Stevie Wonderdog." "[SINGING STEVIE WONDER'S "ISN'T SHE LOVELY"]" " Good doggy, yes." " This is great." "We started our own production company so you could do stupid pet tricks." "Shh." "Don't insult our only client." "As long as we're sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring...." "Spock, the Vulcan retriever." "Yes." "See Spock run." "See Spock live long and slobber." "This is so stupid." "Two grown men sitting in an attic, wasting ti" " Hang on, I got one." " All right." "Elvisdog." "JESSE [SINGING]:" "Well, since my poodle left me" "I found a new place to smell" "It's down at the end of Lonely Street" "[JOEY HOWLING]" "At Heartbreak Hotel" "Well, I've been so lonely, baby" "Well, I knew when I invested in this company..." " ...you boys would make me proud." " Comet, bad dog!" " What's the matter with you?" " Get away!" "Stop it!" "Danny, we're going crazy." "We need a job." "Any word about us shooting that, uh, commercial for Wake Up, San Francisco?" " Let me tell them." " I wanna tell." " You always get to tell them." " Somebody tell us." "Okay, we'll tell them on three." "Ready, one, two" " You got the job." " You cheated." " We got the job?" " Uh-huh." "Yes!" "[DANNY AND JOEY LAUGHING]" " Thanks, Danny." " You're welcome." " Right." " All right." "Our first job and our own production company." "Our commercial will have the town psyched for the new Wake Up, San Francisco." "Starring Rebecca Donaldson and Danny Tanner." " Let me show what we got." " Check this out." " We open with a bed on the set, right?" " Uh, Jess, excuse me." "This is a small, itsy-bitsy point." "It's hardly worth mentioning." "I" " I see you're wondering." "It" " It's always been, "Starring Danny Tanner and Rebecca Donaldson."" " Okay, back to our storyboard." " You start with a bed." "Of course, one could make the argument though no one here is arguing, that since the show is changing its image other changes might be long overdue." "I" " I thought we discussed all the changes that needed changing." "If you're making changes just for the sake of changes well, that changes everything, doesn't it?" "[BECKY LAUGHING]" "Danny, I just thought the show would be a little more balanced if, let's say well, I talked a little more, and you talked a little less." "W" " Well, maybe I" " I do go on a bit, but you always seem to enjoy it." "You're always sitting there, and you're all happy and perky." "You got a problem with perky?" " Perky is great." "It's a coffee thing." "BECKY:" "Perky?" "DANNY:" "You've been drinking coffee." " We could do this with puppets." "Yeah, I think some hand puppets." "[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]" "Articles." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Hey, Bitterman, you got your article?" "Some article." "I mean, all I do is copy the menu from the school cafeteria." "Come on, you write the most popular column in the whole paper:" ""Today's Lunch."" "I should be sports editor, not your best friend, Kimmy Gibbler." "Deej, you're gonna go nuts." "I got an exclusive interview with Robbie Hawkins the star of the basketball team." "Robbie Hawkins isn't even on the basketball team." "He's the equipment manager." "Yeah, but he looks so cute passing out those little cups of Gatorade." "See what I mean?" "Well, I'm sure it's a very well-written article." "Written on a napkin." "Read it out loud." "This ought to be good." "What's for lunch, Bitterman?" ""'This Day in Sports,' by Kimberly Louise Gibbler."" ""Ever wonder about that mega-cute guy who's on the basketball team who's always wiping up the sweat puddles?" "It's Robbie Hawkins." "And, girls, he spots those puddles with eyes of blue." "Not sky blue, but more like a turquoisey gray-blue with little specks of green."" "How's that for investigative reporting?" "[LAUGHING]" "Kimmy, you forgot to investigate who won the game." " You've gotta rewrite this." " Rewrite it?" "You mean write it again?" "Yes, with different words." "Words about sports." "If you think I'm so bad why did you even give me the job?" "I gave it to you because we're best friends." "That's nepotism!" "It is not." "It's favoritism." "It's still an ism." "Look, Kimmy, I need a new article written right away." " Then go ahead and write one." " That's your job." "What's your job, queen of the paper?" "ALL:" "Ooh!" "Look, I'm the editor, and I'm telling you to do this over." "No way, I skipped my nap in algebra to write that." "I'm not doing it." "Well, then I guess you're not sports editor." "Then I guess we're not friends." " Fine." " Fine." " Fine." " Fine." "Ah, no Michelle." "Ah, no Michelle." "[GROANS]" "[GROANS]" "She is driving me bananas." "She is driving me bananas." "Steph, not now." "I've had a horrible day." "Kimmy and I are never speaking to each other again." "Gee, that's a shame." "Gee, that's a shame." "Okay, big shot, let's see you try and handle this." "[SPEAKING RAPIDLY] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America." "One nation with liberty and justice for all." "[IN NORMAL VOICE] Try that." "Try that." "Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi." "Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi." "D.J., I thought about what you said to me today and that's why I wrote this." "Oh, Kimmy, you did the rewrite on real paper." "The Gibbler Gazette?" "Read it and weep." ""Power-hungry Editor Donna Jo Tanner Stabs Best Friend in Back." "Actual photo on page two."" "You pasted my head on Freddy Krueger's body?" "How could you do that?" "That's it." "Now our friendship is really over." "Thanks." "That face is gonna look great on Fred Flintstone's body." "Okay, let's rehearse this." "You two are two typical San Francisco viewers, okay?" " It's early, you're just waking up" " Yeah, your face is puffy." "Your hair is smooshed." "You've got that white crud caked on the corner of your mouth." " You really" " You're grossing them out." "Come on, let's rehearse this." "Ready, and action." " Wake up, San Francisco!" " Wake up, San Francisco!" " Hi, I'm Danny Tanner." " And I'm Rebecca Donaldson." "Starting next week, you'll see a new and improved" " Uh, I" " I'm sorry, I hate to interrupt." " Here we go." "Well, at the risk of talking too much...." "Guys, shouldn't we be waking up a little more naturally?" "She's shooting up like a Pop-Tart in a toaster." "Oh, well, excuse me for being so perky but I thought the idea was to wake up with some energy." " Right, pumpkin?" " Yes, sweetheart." " I'll handle her, you handle the tall one." " Okay." "Aw, honey muffin, I love you, and I love the way you woke up." "He's playing favorites." "Aw, honey muffin." "I love you, and I love the way you woke up." "There, now." "You feel better, Danny?" "A little bit." "All right, now come on." "Let's compromise here." "Danny, when you wake up, wake up a little more Pop-Tarty." "When you wake up try to be a little more stiff, like your partner." "Okay, a little more makeup, please." "Accentuate the cheekbones." "Very nice." "Watch the hair." "Thank you, girls." " Uh, how do I look?" " Danny, you're a fox." " Thanks, Joey." " All right." "All right, let's try it again." "I feel a lot of love in this room." "And action!" "DANNY:" "Cut!" "BECKY:" "Oh!" "I'm sorry, just one more teensy-weensy little problem." "How come all the lights are over on her side of the bed and I'm sitting here in the shadows like a troll under a bridge?" "Daniel, Daniel, Daniel." "We" " We feel that too much light may accentuate the angularity of your features." "Are you saying my nose is too big?" "No, no, no." "Your nose is just the right size." "Your face is just a little too small." "[BECKY LAUGHS]" " Good one, honey." " Thank you, sweetheart." "Okay, let's just rehearse this, beginning to end, once with no stops." "That's right." "Danny, perk it up." "Becky, perk it down." "And action!" " Wake up, San Francisco!" " Wake up, San Francisco!" "Hi, I'm the perky Danny Tanner." "And I'm the stiff Rebecca Donaldson." "Starting next week, you'll be seeing a new and improved Wake Up, San Francisco." " It's warmer." " It's friendlier." "So let our happy home...." "Be a part of your happy home." "Get yourself comfortable." "Grab yourself a cup of coffee." "And a Pop-Tart." "And join us every morning at 9 as we say:" " Wake up, San Francisco!" " Wake up, San Francisco!" " That looked really good." " Yeah, works for me." "Are you still typing?" "Are you still typing?" "Michelle, aren't you tired of the shadow game yet?" "No way, José." "No way, José." "Hey, that's my game." "Hey, that's my game." "I quit." "I quit." "I'm free!" "I'm free!" "Please give me my life back." "Please give me my life back." "I love this game." " Hey, Deej." " Hey, how did it go?" "Well, we shot a great commercial." "Unfortunately, it took us 24 coffee cups to get it." " You saying it's my fault?" " No, because" " It's not my fault." " It's your perkiness." "No fighting in front of the kid." " Fine." " Fine." "It's okay." "I've been fighting all day." "I fired Kimmy from the paper." " You fired your best friend?" " Ex-best friend." "I can't believe I'm saying this but don't you think you ought to work this out?" "I am." "I'm working on an editorial that is gonna trash her reputation." "I've got secrets stored up since kindergarten." "Yeah, but you've been through so much together." "You're a team, you're partners." "Yeah, take a look at your dad and Becky." "They'd never let a little squabble come between them." "They're way too mature for that." "Yeah, Deej, no matter what your differences are you know, you have always been there for each other." "Because you two care about each other." "Deej, it doesn't take strength to hold a grudge it takes strength to let go of one." "The most important thing in a friendship is forgiveness." " I'm sorry." " Oh, Danny, I'm sorry too." "DANNY:" "I'm sorry." "See that, Deej." "Now, doesn't that make you wanna run next door and give Kimmy a big hug?" "No, not really." "Thanks for the talk." "I wonder if "cheese-for-brains" is hyphenated." "Well, at least our speech saved one friendship." "Danny, if my perkiness ever gets on your nerves, you just let me know." "If I ever start talking too much, rambling, running off at the mouth" " Danny." " I'll shut up." "Okay, boys." "This is the last time you'll see Kimmy Gibbler in this house." "I'm returning all your stuff." "Jesse, here's your hairbrush." "Here, you can keep the hair." "Joey, here are your car keys." "Time for a new car stereo." "Time for a new car alarm." "And Mr. T., here is your answering-machine beeper." "By the way, call your mom." "That's all I borrowed from you guys." "Uh, Kimmy, to borrow you need consent." "Otherwise, it's called stealing." "Mr. T., I'll miss your dry sense of humor most of all." ""By second grade, Kimmy's diseased mind reached a new low." "She faked the mumps with two Hostess Sno Balls stuffed in her cheeks."" "I did it." "I lost her going through the doggy door." "[KNOCKING]" "Oh, please, don't let it be Michelle." "KIMMY:" "It's Kimmy Gibbler." "Or Kimmy Gibbler." " What are you doing here, Gibbler?" " Bringing back all your stuff, Tanner." "Steph, tell Kimmy to leave my stuff and go." "D.J. says get you and your chicken legs out of here." "Tell your sister I want all of my stuff back too." "Kimmy says she wants her stuff back so she can leave and never, ever come back here again, ever." "I'll be happy to give it to her." "Fine." "Here's the Bananarama tape you got me for my birthday." "Shows what you know." "I gave you Bananarama for Christmas." "For your birthday I bought you the Bangles." "Bangles, Bananarama, what's the difference?" "What's important is you two are history." "Here's your fanny pack." "Here are your leg warmers." "Your pineapple lip gloss." "Your Erik Estrada chips action figure." "Your old retainer." "Your shrunken head." "You guys had a weird relationship." "This is not my shrunken head." "Yes, it is." "You gave it to me in the third grade at the carnival." "Oh, right." "We rode on the Screaming Siren and you got sick." "And you gave him to me to make me feel better." "Yeah, and then you said it looked like our teacher, Mrs. Hunt." "Actually, Mrs. Hunt's head was smaller." "[LAUGHING]" "Girls, why are we laughing?" "We are supposed to be fighting." "We've been through a lot together, huh?" "No." "Yeah, it'd be a shame to give all this good stuff back." "No." " I'm sorry, Kimmy." " I'm sorry too, D.J." "No!" "I'm sorry about the Gibbler Gazette." "I'll tear them all up." "I hated what you wrote about me, but I loved the way you wrote it." "You've got a real style there." "How would you like to be our gossip columnist?" "Really?" "You want me to poke my nose into other people's business and spread rumors around school?" "You do it anyway." "You might as well write it down." "This is great." "We can spend even more time together." "Stop!" "You're killing me." "Stop!" "You're killing me." "Hey, Kimmy, wanna play shadow?" "Hey, Kimmy, do you wanna play shadow?" "No, I hate that game." "No, I hate that game." " I said, no." " I said, no." " I mean it." " I mean it." " Stop it!" " Stop it!" " Stop it!" " Stop it!" " I'm getting annoyed." " I'm getting annoyed." " Michelle." " Michelle." " I'm not joking." " I'm not joking." " Enough." " Enough." " Stop it." " Stop it." " I'm serious." " I'm serious." " Stop it." " Stop it." "Stop it." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH SDH]"