"Baa baa baa!" "Baa baa baa!" "Whoops!" "Enough, Niyazi." "The pails are brimming." "Bless you a thousand times." "She hasn't milked for 10 days." "You talk to her and the floodgates open." "How do you understand each other?" "She has ears." "You just need to speak her language." "Bravo, grandson!" "Niyazi." "Niyazi." "Help!" "My boy shoved an egg back up a chicken!" " Run, Niyazi!" " Quick." "Run, Niyazi." "Run!" "I tell you, that boy will be a terrific vet." "He'll go to school for it, God willing." "He'll be a vet in a shirt and tie!" "Now, friends." "During your veterinary careers..." "You'll face many challenges." "Challenges like having to pacify a wild animal." "What do we use for this?" "Methadyne hydrochloride." "It's a standard drug, as you know." "Prof, can it be used on any animal?" " Such as?" " Chickens." "Chickens are wild?" "Don't laugh." "Ever seen a Rambo-like chicken attacking humans in the forest?" "Don't laugh." "What was the golden rule?" "We don't inject livestock with methadyne." "Why?" "It's hard for the liver to excrete and so can contaminate the meat." "Now, our guest today is a bear." "Ursus arctos." "Bears can grow to a weight of 800 kg." "But a 1-ton beast has also been sighted around Artvin." "The animal's been tormented for years." "He's been kept in captivity, made to mimic swooning ladies..." "Or dance to the tambourine..." "As an object of entertainment." "The poor thing's suffered conditioned response training." "After class, his owner Metin will join us in taking our friend..." "To the rehabilitation forest where he'll be happy." "Now, why is man so mad about bears?" "Well, they're sensitive, thoughtful, have a gift for empathy..." "Prof, by 'sensitive' and 'thoughtful' you mean?" "They always call on special occasions." "For heaven's sake!" "You guys swap places." "You aren't paying attention." "Shame on you!" "More beast than a bear." "Look at her, good as gold." " God, what's going on?" " Zarife!" "Zarife!" " No touching, prof." " Metin, hold the beast." "Easy now." "It's all over." "Sit down." "I guess you never worked with bears before, prof?" "Sure I have." "We ran a fruit shop together once!" "If you aren't listening, get out." "We're here to talk science." "Now people, take note." "I don't advise using standard drugs." "Why not?" "Here's the thing." "And I cover it in my book "Being Animal with Animals"." "The herbal sedative, Supine 1, is perfect for this." "It's a plant-based blend of fennel root and harmless to animals." "Excretion from the liver is easy, too." "So, let's do it, Metin." "Plants, prof?" "The bear needs more than plants!" "It takes a bottle of vodka to get her to sleep every night." " Vodka?" " Uh-huh." "What's with giving the animal vodka?" "Now, hold her still." " Zarife, relax." " Bravo." " It's nothing." " In the name of God!" "Watch out, prof!" "She hates it in the rear, I warn you." "It's fine." "There we go, all over." "So, what does this tell us?" "Science is a never-ending quest that not even a wild bear can escape." "Zarife." "Zarife." "Prof, behind you!" "Zarife!" "Stop!" " Zarife." " What's going on?" "She's gone wild." " Stop, girl." "Zarife!" " Hold the beast." "OK, but where?" "Now she's got me." "Call the police." "Security!" "Run!" "Run!" "Don't be scared." "I'll get mad at you, Zarife!" "Yes, Mr. Governor?" "The duck's crying?" "What can I do?" "I'll be over." "Is Mrs. Naciye there?" "I'm coming." "Look, Dr. Niyazi." "Some maniac took a shot at him." "Good grief!" "As if he's a game bird." "Come again?" "You mean it's OK to shoot game birds, do you?" "No." "Maybe it sounded like that, but you misunderstand." "Let me..." "Shame on you!" "Shame on you as head of department, shame on your professorship!" "Shame on your diploma ribbon, shame on your mortarboard tassel!" "Shame on the whole lot!" "Pooh, Niyazi!" "God damn whoever fired the shot." "It was a slip-up." "A slip of the tongue." "Good grief!" "To err is human." "Don't give me that." "Don't talk about humans." "If they're human, I'm not." "I'm an animal." "And so are you." " I'm an animal, too." " You?" "Sure, me too." "Great!" "We're all animals." "What happened with our sanctuary project?" "The ministry's given the OK." "But if they give the OK, they don't give funds." " So?" " So we have to find a sponsor." " Who'd give money like that nowadays?" " Somone will!" "You have to find them!" "We'll find them." "They'll be found." "They're onto the home stretch." "No. 10 Night Sultan holds on to the lead." "But on the outside is No. 2 Shah Riza." "There's just a length between them." "As the two thoroughbreds fight it out, Night Sultan has the edge." "But it's Shah Riza on the outside who prevails over his rival." "And the race goes to Riza Kabakoz with the winning horse, Shah Riza." "Damn it." "Not like auctions, is it, Sultan Sahmerdan?" "Let's go before we're driven by the scent of onions, Süleyman." "Back off, wuss!" "You lost the race." "How about winning in love?" "My marriage proposal is still valid." "Had enough Russian salad, Riza Kabakoz?" "Because when I left Mr. Pop Star wasn't alone at the pool." "Sultan, look..." "I was drunk, I acted like an animal." "Anything else you'd like to add?" "It's behind me, I swear." "Forgive me." "Give me another chance." "What we have is a titanic romance." "Other people love; we worship." "It's called being madly in love." "All you are to me now is a rival I long to trounce." "I'll get my revenge for today at the Aegean Derby." "OK, it's a deal." "If you win..." "My ranch, my horses, my everything is yours." "I'll leave you alone." "I'll clear out of town." "And if you win?" "You'll be mine." "You'll be my wife." "You'll be my woman." "Are you scared?" "Oh, so scared!" "But scared that you're still so dumb as not to know me." "I accept your proposition." "Süleyman..." "Let's go!" "She accepted." "Mahmut, she accepted!" "Start the wedding preparations!" "Fast!" "Greetings, Ferruh!" "Greetings, Niyazi." "Welcome!" "What are you up to now?" "I'm about to show you something that'll blow your mind." "In that case I hope it works out." "Hello there!" "Greetings, prof!" "Thanks." "To you too." "You never pay." "At least don't pick the priciest." "It says on the stick you win a freebie." "Rubbish." "You've had 50 and no winners." "You get the cream, I get the crap." "I can't help it, Ferruh." "Complain to the firm." "What does it say here?" "Complaints line!" "See?" "Don't be scared." "Mestan, don't you be scared either." "If we can like you of all people, why you can't like him?" "How can I like a mini-dragon?" "Look at him strut around, showing off." "He could be a building contractor." "Wait till you see this, Niyazi." "How's that?" "Great!" "Put the singer Ankara Namik in there..." "Start strumming and you'd have the animal belly dancing." "Shame on you, boys." "Be animal with the animal." "The animal developed this trait as a defense mechanism." "Why use it against the animal?" "I thought better of you, Ferruh." "You torment animals, you know." "Add this to my tab." "I'll pay at the month end." "OK, prof." "Ms. Sultan." "There are former champions racing in the Aegean Derby." "Then we'll be the champion of champions." " With Night Sultan?" " Of course." "Night Sultan." "We'll win with Riza's gift." "Beat him at his own game." "That horse can't win without the help of foreign substances." "It's impossible!" "Find me the best vet in the country." " We already..." " Work with the best, don't we?" "Then find me the very best." "Is it worth risking name and fame over a prestige race?" "Yes!" "If it finishes off Riza Kabakoz!" "We'll win the Aegean Derby, Mahmut." "Tell all the stablemen, everyone." "I don't want any blunders." "We have to win the race, no question." "Pour me a whisky, Mahmut." "Here you go." "Sultan, I drink to our love." "I have everything, Mahmut." "I have horses, I have guns." "But where's the wife, Mahmut?" "Am I half gangster?" "Am I fake gangster?" "Of course not!" "Toss that bottle, Mahmut." "Oh God!" "Riza, it was a bad throw!" "OK, Mahmut." "It's OK." "Don't start brownnosing." "There's a thing called gravity." "This is a wound of love No medicine can heal it" "Your words of comfort are no consolation" "My beloved holds the cure Not you" "Don't waste your time" "Gevrek!" "Get the door, honey!" "Run, Gevrek!" "Get the door, honey!" "Hello, Hediye." "Welcome, Dr. Niyazi." "You rascal." "I'm done in, boy." "Thanks." " How are you, Hediye?" " Fine, Dr. Niyazi." "Working away." "Good." "God." "This is a wound of love No medicine can heal it" "Your words of comfort Are no consolation" " What's this?" " Don't waste your time on me, doctor" " Is it you who teaches him this?" " Yes." "You said to get him talking." "Is this any way to get the bird talking?" "Look at him!" "A victim of fate." "A mini Arabesque star." "I wondered why the feather plucking." "It's no good, Hediye." "Don't yell at me!" "I have enough on my plate without teaching the parrot!" "I tell anyone who asks that I work on Noah's Ark." "Cleaning this house sucks." "I trod on the turtles twice today." "The hedgehogs stabbed my ankles." "There's dog hair in my food!" "Don't wind me up." "You'll make me do things I regret!" "I forbid you to speak to me like that!" "I forbid you!" "All these years and you still act like a dictator!" "You may hire me as help, but I'm not a slave!" "Who called you a slave?" "What kind of talk is that?" "I act like a dictator, do I?" "You're talking to a professor here!" "I don't know what you're talking about!" "What's going on?" "You've got me all wound up." "What are you laughing at?" "Professor, look at your tie." "It's beyond crooked." "It's easy to laugh." "Fix it then." "Women know about these things." "You just put me through every emotion." "There!" "Did you change your aftershave?" "No, I always use tangerine peel." "I tried clementine once, but the scent is different." "You get all exasperated out there and take it out on me." "You're wrong and you're strong." "Don't teach the bird these things." "OK, I'll make tea then." "Wait." "Forget the tea." "I have an experiment to do." "I made a list here." "Get the stuff from the market." " After you, professor!" " Why?" "You never like what I buy." "Science with vegetables?" "For goodness sake!" "We'll be plagued by spirits and have to be exorcised, God forbid!" "Hediye, you know you're the only thing standing between me and a Nobel prize." "What does that make me?" "I hope I die jumping on the ferry before it docks..." " And blow up like a balloon in the sea." " Good grief!" "Listen to you!" "And your name "Hediye", "Gift"." "Some gift!" "Like a bounced check!" "How's the eggplant?" "Firm enough?" "Great." "Are you doing this on purpose?" "Didn't we try eggplant?" "Wasn't the result negative?" "Which means we're done with eggplant." "How am I supposed to keep track?" "Hey, Niyazi!" "Welcome!" "My broccoli's awesome." "Ideal for experiments!" "Organic?" "Are you kidding?" "It even talks!" "It says "daddy"." " Weigh out a kilo." " Sure." "How's it going with the formula, Niyazi?" "Made any cats and dogs fly?" "You think that's funny, do you?" "Huh, melon-face?" "No." "You've got me wrong." "Zip it, Pokemon devil!" "You're talking to a professor!" "Rude, insulting, pushy idiot." " OK, Hediye." "Let's not umm..." " What's OK?" "He's gone grey in the cause of science." "A rock of a man and he says nothing." "Who for?" "Who for?" "For the human race!" "For animals actually." "OK, Hediye." "Enough." " Are you done?" " Yes." "OK, here you go." "Is that enough?" " It's fine, sure." " OK." "Thankless jerks!" "Selfish morons!" "May science do you no good!" "Sometimes I can't figure whose side you're on." "Yours of course." "Who else?" "They must respect you." "Have respect for this man!" "This man must be respected!" "C'mon." "We still have experiments to do." "May the experiments do you no good!" "My guinea pigs come to visit and eat your peppers and tomatoes..." "Till there are none left!" "What's with the rage, Hediye?" "I'll have to vaccinate you!" "Hediye, don't umm..." "Let the plants breathe." "You'll make yourself blind, you know." "You can barely see the thing so what good will it do the animal?" "Less chatter, Hediye." "C'mon, prep the guinea pig." "I already did." "You want him in circumcision gear?" "Poor baby is ready." "Hold his head still." "Drug name Potence." "Experiment no. 7551." "Active ingredient artichoke!" "In the name of God!" "C'mon, boy." "C'mon, Süreyya Ayhan." "C'mon, Usain Bolt." "I think we cracked it this time." "C'mon, boy!" "C'mon, champ!" "Good job!" "C'mon." "Oh..." "Oh God!" "Oof!" "Another one gone." "Drug name Potence." "Experiment no. 7551." "Artichoke negative." "What did you expect?" "You should've given me the artichoke..." "Let me braise it in olive oil and then seen the animal run." "Should I have used dill, too?" "Now you're acting the food critic!" "May God give you sense." "I'm going." "Go." "Go." "Good grief!" "I don't have to deal with you." "Go!" "Why won't it work?" "I fail again to create the drug, Fikret." "Grandpa." "Grandpa, grandpa." "I know." "Oof, Grandpa!" "The man who passed with his secret." "I've spent my life working on a formula." "We've grown old together, partner." "I've tried everything." "What was that last plant, Fikret?" "What was it?" "Grandpa, are you OK?" "No, grandson." "My time is up." "Now, open your ears and listen." "My last request of you is that you finish school..." "That you become a qualified vet and wear a shirt and tie!" "Don't be a drummer like your dad." "Niyazi, there's just one medicine I haven't taught you." "A panacea!" "If it's a panacea, take it and you'll be cured." "God forbid, Niyazi!" "It's a medicine for animals." "Humans must never take it." "It must have nothing missing either." "Grab a pen and paper and write." "Razaki grapes, 1 oka." "Balsam pear." "Germander." "Bajoram." "Asphodel." "Senna." "And most important of all..." "Dear God." "Huh?" "I didn't catch you." "What was that?" "Grandpa?" "Dad!" "Is he dead?" "Grandpa!" "Oh, God!" "Grandpa!" "Grandpa!" "Grandpa!" "Good grief!" "What's with all the noise so early in the morning?" "Hediye!" "Hediye, you're baring your back." "What's with the noise, Hediye?" "The house is like some tribal wedding!" "What can I do?" "It's only noise." "I'm sick of talking to cats and birds." "I don't want noise!" "Not like that." "You had me leaping out of bed!" "You just think of me as one of your animals, Dr. Niyazi." "You'll be putting out food for me next to Gevrek's any time soon." "Get me vaccinated twice a year and I'll keep the thieves out." "Good grief!" "Listen to you." "Full of back talk again." "I'm going." "What time will you be back?" "None of your business!" "Are you my wife?" "No, you've got me so wrong." "Remember you asked for ravioli?" "I did the mince." "Now there's the dough." "That's why I asked." "To get the timing right." "Why else would I ask?" "I asked for ravioli, didn't I?" "I'm sorry, Hediye." "Now it's like I've been mean to you." "I ask for something and give you hell for it." "Sweetheart." " Dr. Niyazi!" "Dr. Niyazi!" " Who's that?" "What's going on?" "C'mon, move." "We're off on a raid!" " A raid?" " Yes." "Goodness gracious!" "Ms. Sultan, you're news today less for your furs and antiques..." "Than for your stormy affair with Riza Kabakoz." "An affair I've ended." "Yes." "I trust you'll be honest if I ask..." "Whether it ended because of an infidelity?" "Yes, friends." "It involved a deception." "But I'm afraid..." "It was Sultan Sahmerdan deceiving herself." "My "prince" turned out to be a frog." "You mean it was a mistake." "No." "I'm just saying love is blind." "Remember..." "Love is like an hourglass." "As the heart fills, the mind empties." "Is Sultan Sahmerdan put off love?" "Far from it!" "From now on welcome everything, welcome everyone." "Leather, meat, fur!" "It's all murder!" " Leather, meat, fur!" "It's all murder!" " What's going on there, Süleyman?" "Ms. Sultan, can't we continue?" "No, friends." "Enough for today." "Many thanks." " Leather, meat, fur!" "It's all murder!" " Come over here, professor." "What are you doing?" "Is this necessary, Ms. Naciye?" "Of course." "We're creating awareness." "These animal lovers won't leave us alone." "Go see if they really do love animals." "Of course." "Shut it!" "Look." "Look at the man." "A professor, no less." "Why is the man like this?" "Think about it." "Go on, explain." "I'm veterinarian Prof Dr. Niyazi Gül, author of "Being Animal with Animals"." "OK, furs were used by primitive humans..." "God damn those primitive humans!" "Whoever they were, I'm suing them, too!" "Ms. Naciye, don't curse the dead." "Why not?" "My darlings!" "My dar..." "They aren't darlings." "Untie me, Ms. Naciye." "Fast!" "We must do something." "Just show them some love." "Congratulations." "Those mountains, hey-hey" "The farmer, hey" "The hunter hit my wound, hey-hey" "Today the nightingale Oh, today the nightingale" "My heart" "The mountains hey-hey-hey The nightingale" "Seems he's a vet." "An eminent professor." "Marvelous." "If help has arrived, things must be fated to go well." "I want to know everything about him." " What's that?" " Mr. Riza sent it." ""Let the horse race and love win, my Sültan." "Riza"" ""My Sültan"?" "Uh-huh." "He says "My Sültan"." "With two hearts over the U instead of dots." "Lucky he didn't poop." "Find me the vet right away." "I'm right here, Gevrek." "Who is it at this time?" "What's up, boys?" "There's a problem with the lizard." "This public enemy here fed the animal ice cream." "He suddenly went one color." "But the label said "tropical flavor"." "It's his home, isn't it?" "He should like it." "But that animal Ferruh has corrupted the lizard." "Two licks of the ice cream and he got like this." "He has a chronic inflammation of the pharynx." "Hell no!" ""Hellner"?" "What kind of disease is that?" "He has pharyngitis, Ferruh." "And I thought it was serious!" "Then whip out his tonsils, douse him in iodine and let's get out of here!" "Great news, Ferruh." "You're laughing!" "Get out of here!" "Laughing about what?" "Waste of space." "Imbecile." "He has tonsils, huh?" "What's with feeding him ice cream?" "Does he feed you things?" "Does he say, 'Let's eat flies'?" "The animal is dying." "You still don't get it." "He's dying." "You killed him." "He's dying?" "For the love of God save him!" "He's my everything." "He's my little lamb." "My little lamb!" "Thanks, Niyazi." "Thanks so much." "Now you've saved my Mestan, life feels worth living again." "I'm back to myself." "I'm amazed myself, to be honest." "In 25 years of working on the formula this is the first time it's working." "We'll monitor the patient a few days and if the outcome is positive..." "Mestan may become a symbol for science." "So, what you gave the lizard is a kind of doping, right?" "Let's not call it "doping"." "A multivitamin complex is better." "Potence, my name for the drug, is 100 per cent plant based." "It leaves no trace in the blood or urine." "You're telling the animal, to draw on its body's reserves." "In effect the animal cures itself." "Sure, it's doping of a kind." "You should use it on horses in that case." "Then bet on the races and pack your bags for Europe!" "We're talking science here." "I'm against horse racing." "It's unethical." "Like its name." "The horses run, and the jockeys?" "OK, Niyazi." "If you injected me with the drug..." "Would my own "lizard" perk up?" "I mean performance-wise." "Sure." "It would catch flies." "Dirty-minded dimwit." "This drug is meant for animals, not humans." "You know what it would do to humans?" "Heard of werewolves?" "Uh-huh." "Think of a taxable version." "That's what you'd be like." "So, it's a bad idea." "Whatever." "C'mon, let's drink to Niyazi." "C'mon, Niyazi." "I know you don't drink but..." "Just a drop to drink to Mestan." " No, no." " C'mon, don't refuse me." " Fellas." " For your health." "All right then." "Just a drop for Mestan's sake." "You rascal!" "What a treat to have him as a pet." "Yes, Mestan." "To your health then." " Milady." " I'm listening, Süleyman." "I think we've found what we're after." "This vet is extraordinary." "Incredible." "He's invented a kind of multivitamin for animals." " Really?" " Really." "He's marvelous." "The drug can't be detected in blood or urine." " Only..." " Yes, only?" "Did you hear, Mahmut?" "Who's this upstart?" "The man's devoted to his principles." "Meaning?" "He says he's against horse racing." "He'd be impossible to convince." "My powers of persuasion work wonders." "As you know, Süleyman." "Fishy or what?" "What's going on, Mahmut?" "The nightingale weeping at dawn" "Don't you weep, let me weep" "The nightingale wounding my heart" "Don't you weep, let me weep Let me weep" "The nightingale" "It's all my fault." "I made him drink." "Whoa!" "One glass and he was a goner." "But every ball game has its experts." "And this shit is where we're qualified." "Zip it!" "Look what you brag about." "We knocked the guy out." "Here, Niyazi." "Hediye." "Gevrek, back in your bed." "Hediye, you've burst in like a hurricane again." "Didn't I tell you not to vacuum when I'm working here?" "Quiet!" "There's dust everywhere." "You'll get asthma." "You'll get COPD." "Educated imbecile!" "Careful!" "It'll be your fault if anything happens to me." "You even got dust in my tea." "I can't drink it." "No!" "Not on the desk." "Not on the desk." "Those are important papers." "Nag, nag." "Listen to you!" "They're scientific papers." "Hediye, what are you doing?" "What, science?" "In all this dust?" " Hediye!" " OK, get back." "I'll handle it." "I'll do it." "Get back." "I'll handle it." "Turn the thing off!" "Wait, I'll do it." "I'm dying." "Sorry." "Not interrupting, am I?" "How can I help?" "I'm Sultan Sahmerdan." "I know you." "After yesterday's scene at my home I think I have a right of reply." "I'll be waiting in my car, professor." "If you don't come, I'll chain myself to the door." "Who's that woman?" "But it's morally wrong for me to be here right now." "Obviously there's the fur issue." "So you're against my furs." "Surely you agree a zebra fur looks better on the zebra." "If it wasn't on me, which animal's gut would it be in?" "Have you considered that?" "I'm not the mayor of Serengeti." "How do I know?" "That's crazy reasoning." "It could be alive." "Look, Dr. Niyazi." "Let me explain." "This butterfly pendant here was my first catch." "I caught it as a small child." "My nanny had a fit." "She gave me hell for killing it when butterflies only live for a day." "So I said to her:" "'But it's immortal now!" "'" "In other words, that it would live for ever." "Ever looked at it from that perspective?" "Yes, I have." "First, that isn't a butterfly." "It's a tineola bisselliella." " What's that?" " A moth." "The common name is moth." "And it loves fur and woolens." "You make an interesting pair." "Second, with your reasoning, we'd all wear butterfly pendants..." "Make belts out of snakes and bags out of crocodiles..." "Wrap foxes around our necks and wear sables on our heads." "And we'd soon be doing God knows what with ivory." "Never!" "Remember, without animals man would be very lonely on earth." "I have much to learn from you, professor." "It'll be an interesting match." "What exactly do you want from me?" "I was most impressed by your performance with the dogs." "So I thought perhaps you could tame my Elizabeth." "Elizabeth?" "Here, meet Elizabeth." "She's got so hostile and cranky." " Meleagris gallopavo." " Excuse me?" "A turkey, a turkey." "But no ordinary turkey, professor." "Isn't that right, Süleyman?" "Yes!" "She came all the way from Yucatan, Mexico." "The last of her species." "Ten thousand dollars." "Ten thousand?" "No way!" "That's a con turkey." "She's from a farm." "You'd pay 75-100 in the market here." " In the market?" " Yes." "Paying 10 grand was a rip-off." "Can you ride her?" "So what's wrong with her?" "Bring her here." "She's depressed." "She can't puff up." "Why?" "The geese." "Take me to the geese!" "Yes, now everything's clearer." "Meaning?" " A difference of family." " Family?" "Yes!" "Family." "On the outside they're both fowl." "But they're different fowl." "Geese belong to the duck family..." "And turkeys to the phasianidae." " I'm lost." " Think of bad blood between relatives." "Like a wife and a sister-in-law." "When they're together too long..." "There's backbiting, strife, politics." "It doesn't work." " So what's the answer?" " I'll talk to the ringleaders." "But geese are aggressive beasts." "One angry goose is worth 10 Rambos." " Yes, you should stay back." " Step back, Süleyman." "Step back." "Yes, go ahead." "Let's get out of here." "Help me!" "Süleyman, help me!" "Thank you." "Thanks for accepting my dinner invitation, professor." "Don't mention it." "My great-grandfather, Abduüssekkür Pasha." "An imposing man, may he rest in peace." "And this is his worthless wife, Gülbeseker." "Worthless?" "Afraid so." "The only woman in our family to succumb to another woman." "My pasha grandfather left her for some maid." "A match "maid in heaven" then!" "Never a truer word spoken!" "Yes." " I'll sponsor your project, professor." " I'm not with you." "I'll invest the necessary sum in your animal shelter project." "Ms. Sultan, how do you know about it?" "You've thrown me." "Let's not get lost in details." "My one condition is that the shelter be named after my grandfather." "It'll be the Abdüssekkür Pasha Animal Shelter." "The Abdüssekkür Pasha Animal Shelter." "Sounds like a Turkish delight brand." "But sure." "Why not for animals?" "It's great." "Sweet." "It would be a great good deed, Ms. Sultan." "Thanks." "What do you mean Shah Riza is too lame to race?" "I swear it's not my fault, aga." "He got a nail in his foot." "Shut it!" "Then you'll run." "You'll win the race." "Let me shoe you up." "Pass the hammer." " I swear it's not my fault!" " Pass the shoe." " I beg you, aga!" " Pass a nail." " I swear he has a nail in his foot." " Shut it!" " One second." " What is it?" "Sorry to interrupt but..." " That vet..." " Well?" "Is at Sultan's place." " The place is tapped." " What?" " Mahmut." " Yes." "We need..." "That vet." "Actually, professor, we're a lot alike." "Strong-willed, resolute, only happy when in charge." "What star sign are you?" "Antelope." "Nice." "Excuse me?" "The antelope there, they're looking at me." "Beautiful, aren't they?" "All caught by me." "You haven't eaten a thing, professor." "How can I, Ms. Sultan?" "It sticks in my throat." "Look!" "The place is an abattoir." "I have all of nature's animals looking at me." "It's like eating with Tarzan." "What can I do?" "I like my animals that way." "Like them alive!" "Stroke cats and dogs." "Hug a squirrel." "Ms. Sultan, I appreciate you sponsoring the shelter..." "But I don't feel good." "I'd like to go if I may." "From what I hear, you're working on a miracle drug for animals." "How did you hear about that?" "I take an interest in all things miraculous." " Right!" "Get to the point." " I admit we got off to a false start." "But after you helped Elizabeth today I'd like to support your drug project." "I'm ready to do whatever I can." " Could you expand?" " What?" "My bust?" "What are you doing?" "Just a joke." " Anatolian tiger." " Excuse me?" "Cheers." "Should I dispatch him?" "No, Mahmut." "We can't." "We can't touch him till the race." "She'd say we killed her vet." "She'd say that's why she lost." "She'd say I broke the deal." "She'd bang on and on." "Oof!" "Who the hell are you?" "What do you want?" "Gallus gallus domesticus, aka the chicken." "As a member of the phasianidae domesticated centuries ago..." "It's more prone to disease." "Right, people?" "Why?" "Because of its omnivorous diet." "Prof, by "omnivorous diet" you mean they eat what?" "The fixed menu." "Rice, beans, dessert if there is any." "Don't laugh." "Surprise, professor!" "OK, class over." "See you next week." " Ms. Sultan." " Hello." "How are you?" " Ms. Naciye." " Dr. Niyazi." "Talk about surprises!" "Ms. Sultan has given us the land for our shelter." "Really?" "That's great news." "To celebrate, we plan to go for a ceasefire dinner together." "An animal-loving occasion." "Well, professor?" " Sure, of course." " Wonderful." "Yes." "Here's to our project." " To our project." " To solidarity." "To our partnership." "And let's not forget our animal friends." "Thanks to my dear professor I'm experiencing true enlightenment." " I'm done with furs." " Congratulations!" "There are superb fakes around anyway." "Identical to the real thing." "Yes, I'm with you." "Let's take a look at our project, shall we?" "We can maybe discuss the details." "What's that?" "Mr. Riza sent it." "For you." "He has me mixed up." "I don't know the gentleman." "Anyway, we must send something back." "Watermelon or the like." "It's the rules good breeding." "Careful you don't get us both in deep water." "Why?" "You enjoy yourself." "I'll handle this." "Süleyman." "Now..." "With your permission, I'd like to read you the universal declaration..." "Of animal rights." "All animals are born equal and have the same right to existence." " No animal should be badly treated." " Excuse me." "It's the Conchita." "My favorite tango." "Come, professor." "Let's not allow the ardor of Argentina to die." " Come where exactly?" " Onto the dance floor." "I can't do the dances of that region." " Please, don't let me down." " Don't, really." "Relax." "Leave it to me." "Don't, Ms. Sultan." "I'll disgrace myself." "I truly will." "I don't know the moves." " OK, two steps forward." " Yes." "Back." " Like this?" " Yes." "What's she doing?" "Is she out to make me crazy?" "Doesn't she know I'm here every night?" " Do I do that, too?" " Yes." "Riza." "No, not here." "OK." "C'mon, let's go." "Tip me back." "And again." "Should I do it again?" "No need." "You were superb, professor." "Come." " Ms. Sultan, a new romance?" " Can you look this way?" "OK, guys, OK." "Thank you." "Good grief, what's all this about?" "Press, paparazzi and what have you." "OK, people, enough." "Thank you." "The interview's over." "Thank you." "Goodbye." "Thank you so much, Ms. Sultan." "It's been a great evening." "Being wined and dined." "Thanks." "I'll find a cab to take me home if I may." "Your homey girl routine is killing me." "In this rain?" "We'll drop you off." "C'mon." "Thanks." " Mahmut." " Yes?" "There used to be murders known as "unsolved", right?" " There still are." " Good." "Don't kill him till you get the drug he's invented." "First get the drug, then kill him." "We get the goods and the guy." "Of course." "God." "God." " God, why did I have to see this?" " HEAD OVER HEELS" "Just look at the guy." "Shameless rat." "May he burn in hell!" "May he blow up like a balloon!" "You ugly louse!" "Look how he's coming on to her." "Look at him." "May he fall into a pit oven!" "You think I won't grill you?" "You think I won't iron those shirts when they're on you?" "Just wait." "Just wait." "Just wa..." "Just..." "Wait." "C'mon, boy." "God." "Gevrek?" "Hediye." "Hediye." "Try anything and you're dead." "Who are you?" "What's going on, pal?" "Gevrek, attack him!" "Gevrek took a vacation, prof." "Tell me fast." "Where's the drug?" "I'm a veterinarian." "What drug are you after?" "I have drugs for cats and dogs." "You're in the wrong place." "Maybe you'll remember after swallowing this fish." "C'mon!" "Where's the drug?" "Huh?" "Where?" "May your hands stick together!" "May you suffocate in hell!" "Hit him, the damn crook!" "Who is this maniac?" "Hit the crook!" "The fish is dead." "You keep quiet!" "Gonna be a nighthawk, are you?" "Stop fighting, you two!" "You want me to kill you?" "Or kill the animals, huh?" "Hey!" "Who are you?" "Pull a gun on animals, huh?" "You crocodile!" "I'll bash you to pieces." "Rat!" "I'll bash you to pieces." "No!" "Not the hedgehog!" "Hediye, not the hedgehog!" "What are you doing?" "Turn 40 and you have to be in the papers, do you?" "Huh?" "All over the gossip pages?" "But I had a hair transplant!" "Please!" "Here's hair." "Here's hair." "Give me that hair." "We're human beings!" "Hey, come here!" "Don't run away!" "The hedgehog!" "Come here, pimp!" "Hediye." "What's going on?" "You're really losing the plot." "Why hit me?" "You got my privates." "No, don't." "You say the women tore your hair out and bashed your head with a hedgehog." "Yes." "Fool!" "Did you go there to be court jester?" "I need to win this race." "You have to get me that drug." "Get it for me or you're dead." "I'll kill you first..." "And then beat you up." "I'll get it." "In the meantime..." " Invite Sultan for breakfast tomorrow." " Of course." "Things have mounted up." "It's time to settle up." "For sure." "Why did you ask me here, Riza?" "Have you given up on your bet?" "I thought we'd live here after getting married." "I'll make the architect your dog." "You can furnish it as you like." "Don't count your chickens." "Maybe we can live abroad." "Sail around the world." "No." "It's over." "This relationship is totally over, Riza Kabakoz." "You and your low-profile social circle are out of my life." "You want to make me beg, Sultan?" "To throw myself at your feet?" "Love is a team thing." "It doesn't work without you." "Look, let's start a fresh new page." "No more guns!" "You're saying no more guns but yes more Russian roulette." "Not the Russian thing again!" "I told you, I'm a reformed man." "I'm into Russian writers now." "I read Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Putin." " You don't meant Pushkin?" " Right, Pushkin." "Bring them out." "Look." "Am I looking?" "Am I looking?" "No." "I'm not looking." "What man could resist looking?" "I'm not looking." "Why?" "Because I'm in love." "I love you." "I love you like crazy." "It's all because of these animals." "You think I bring the girls here for myself?" "It's for these animals." "Speak!" "Say you're animals." "We're animals." "There are things we can't get over." "We're animals, Ms. Sultan." "Sorry to be crass, but we're slaves to certain instincts." "See?" "Without you, Sultan, this place is a nature documentary." "Save me." "Here." "Pull the trigger." "C'mon." "Pull the trigger." "But you can't." "Because you love me, too." "See you at the race, Riza." "What are you so sure of?" "What are you so sure of?" "My vet." "You're going to marry me." "You sure as hell are!" " Mahmut." " Yes." "What's with this vet?" " What's up, girl?" " What do you think?" "I bust a gut to make his life easier and some painted tart swipes him away." "May her eyes drop out, socialite slut!" "At times like this you should use your femininity." "Are you going sexual on me?" "Shame on you!" "What's wrong?" "You've minced around him in peasant-girl gear for years." " So I should mop the floor in a suit?" " Did I say that?" "Beauty is 90 per cent what you wear." "Doesn't the guy have any special days?" "Get yourself all dolled up." "Confront him suddenly in your finery." "Dazzle him like a rabbit in headlamps." " You think so?" " Sure." "You're right." "I guess." "And I hope the shelter will very soon draw all the interest it deserves." "Animals in need of help, furs on the brink of extinction..." "I mean animals, of course..." "Will now have a cozy home and care facility to go to." "Thanks to you and to us." "To success!" "I don't know how to thank you, Ms. Sultan." "I know very well, Dr. Niyazi." "Don't you worry." "I'm inviting you to my birthday party tonight." "Really?" "Then let me tell Ms. Naciye and the governor." "Are we a folkdance team, Dr. Niyazi?" " I'm inviting just you." " Right." "OK." "Fine." " My respects." " Thank you." "Thanks." "Ms. Sultan must be interested in curios if she's asked you to her birthday." "Don't, professor." "For heaven's sake." "The woman sponsored an animal shelter." "I have to accept her invitation." "Don't snap." "I didn't say anything bad." "You're a man worthy of sultans." "Good grief, jokes all the way." "This wit of yours." "Dr. Niyazi." "May your book be blessed." "May it bring good fortune." "I wish you every success." "Hediye, what is this?" "What are you doing?" " What's with the getup?" " What's wrong?" "Are you shocked?" "I'm full of surprises when I need to be, Dr. Niyazi." "Professor, Hediye helps me out." "She picks up after me." "She's my cleaner." "Your cleaner?" "Hediye, c'mon." "You go home." "What's with the in-your-face look?" "Good grief!" "Like an idiotic clown." "A clown?" "Well, thanks, Dr. Niyazi." "Good grief." "She hung up." "She never used to do that." "Could Hediye be mad at me?" "Let's just get through tonight and I'll make up to her." " Good evening." " Good evening, prof." "Ms. Sultan." "The professor." "Hello." "Hello there." " Welcome, professor." " Hello." "Good evening." "Happy birthday, Ms. Sultan." "May you find love and have children and grandchildren." "Hug your grandchildren." "Love your children." "God willing." "Let me give you this." "Thanks." "What is it?" "Village candy." "Good lord, professor!" "But I won't let you turn the evening into a village event." "With your permission, ma'am." " You can retire, Süleyman." "Thank you." " Enjoy." "This way." "Let's sit by the fire." "Ms. Sultan, isn't it a little empty for a birthday?" "Do you have no family here?" "Actually..." "It isn't my birthday today." "I wanted to be alone together." "Just you and me." "And the Chateau Rouge 1946." "1946." "The dawn of Turkey's multi-party system." "We'll have many more parties, Mr. Loner." "I shouldn't drink this." "I'm no good at fermented drinks." "I get reflux." "Maybe I could have lemonade instead." "This wine is to be drunk tonight, professor." "Let me make tea." "I make great tea." "Our national drink." "Let's have tea and a nice chat." "C'mon." "Drink, drink, drink." "Then just for you I'll have a glass." "Sublime, isn't it?" " Acrid." " What?" "A little acrid." "You need sulfur for the fermentation process." "To preserve the bacteria long term." "It's like tongs are clamped on my tongue, pushing it back" " Have another sip." " All right." "Let it work its magic." "Now." "I missed dancing with you, professor." "You're a fast learner." "Is it a little hot?" "I agree." "Take off your jacket." " What?" " Take it off." " Take it off." " Why's my jacket coming off?" "Give it to me." "What's going on?" "What are you trying to do?" "Tonight, we pack away "maybes"..." "Bury "if onlys" and let our hormones go, Niyazi." "Now." "Take off that tie." "No." "Ms. Sultan, if the tie comes off..." " Then a man loses control." " Take it off." "Ms. Sultan, these are foreign things." "Hot-blooded basic instincts." "Ms. Sultan, a person without morals is a person without evolution." "Now!" "This way." "Let the night envelop us, Niyazi." "Let desires burn." "Whip the horses inside you." " Whip them?" " Ah, Tutankhamun!" " Caught it." "What's this?" " A mummy." "No way!" "It gives me the energy of Cleopatra." "What energy?" "Lick a battery or hook yourself up to a car battery." "What's this place?" "Come here." "No more talking." "Here we go, professor." "Fikret." "Fikret." "Hediye." "Ms. Sultan." "Good morrow, noble prince." " Prince?" " Or should I say 'pasha'?" "That would work, too." "Praise be, with that pasha's prowess of yours!" "Ms. Sultan." "If anything I did last night was hurtful, excessive, demeaning to women..." "Typical of male-dominated society" " Bullying..." " You were drunk to remember, huh?" "Yes." "I don't remember a thing." "I don't know what happened." "So forgive me if I did anything wrong." "Let bygones be bygones." "Let me give you this turban." "I should take my leave." "So I spent the night here." "I'll be waiting for you in my study, Niyazi." "I'm in trouble for sure." "OK, now you be a zebra and me a cheetah." "The whole genre thing." "What were we doing?" " Shall I continue?" " God forbid!" "What's this about, Ms. Sultan?" " Blackmail." " Blackmail?" "Whatever you want, I agree in advance." "But please, delete the video!" "You would say that, wouldn't you?" "This video can be deleted on one condition, professor." "What's that?" "You win the Aegean Derby for me." "Whether you give the horse a shot or jockey her yourself is up to you." " Otherwise?" " Otherwise..." "You'll find yourself an internet phenomenon overnight." "You'll get record views." "No pain, no gain, professor." "Like a good luck kiss?" "Why didn't you tell me, Mahmut?" "Why not?" "The boys listened and listened but..." "Listened to what?" "A radio play, was it?" "What?" "There was no, you know, so they didn't, you know." "Fill in the gaps, Mahmut!" "Sultan and the vet left the living room." "Left the living room?" "And went where?" "To the bedroom?" " To invade Sultan's privacy..." " Don't give me that!" "Did they go to the bedroom?" "Answer me!" " I guess." "Looks like the bedroom." " Don't answer." "I don't want answers like that." "Get out, all of you!" "Ah, Sultan." "It worked on the chameleon." "It'll work on the horse too, if I can make enough." "Dear God, don't count it as a sin." "What's up?" "Niyazi." "Mestan..." "The lizard went his last color." "He turned purple." "He can't be dead." "It's impossible." "He can't be dead." "It's impossible." "God!" "No one dies with the dead." "Here, cologne." "I do." "Watch me." "I'm dead." "I'm finished." "God help me." "What happens now?" "OK, hamster." "Show me you can do it." "C'mon, please." "Save me, boy." "Bring me luck, champ." "C'mon, rascal." "Break the records." "Go for it." "C'mon, boy." "Drug name Potence." "Experiment no: 7582." "You can do it." "You can do it." "C'mon, save me." "Put an end to this torture." "Ha..." "The chameleon's dead." "My formula's gone." "My reputation, too." "It never rains but it pours." "You're toast, Niyazi." "Toast." " Hi, prof." " Hello, prof." "How can you look these kids in the face, Niyazi?" "And you plan to dope the horse." "Dear God, what have I got myself into?" "So you're an internet phenomenon, prof." "Prof, you're awesome." "Some performance at your age!" "But she didn't give a deadline." "Ah, Ms. Sultan." " It's not like you think, son." " Prof, you're something else." " How many minutes of that, huh?" " Prof, look." "Shame on you!" "Stop." "Shame died long ago." "Everyone's had videos leaked." "How many views?" "Over 1 million." "May God blind those viewing eyes!" "Give that here." "You scared me to death." "Sit down, nutters." "What can I do, Gevrek?" "The camel was told to flirt, so he knocked down 40 tents." "Anyway." "Take good care of yourself." "He'll find you another Hediye." "It's no big deal." "Goodbye." "OK, I'm putting this here." "You tell him." "Say I knitted it for him." "Oh, sweetheart." "Honey." "Look after yourself." "I've tried everything." "And become a veg trader in the cause of science!" " Greetings." " Greetings, Niyazi." "Welcome." "What's up?" "You're here alone." "Where's the wife?" "The wife?" "Ah, you mean Hediye." "No, she's not my wife." "Really?" "Sorry." "I took you for married after always seeing you here together." "And she'd always say, 'My man will like that.'" " 'My man'?" " That's right." "What's on your list today?" "Peace." "Peace and quiet." "She says 'my man', huh?" "Good grief." "She says 'my man'." "Gevrek." "How's it going, boy?" "Gevrek." "Aren't we speaking, boy?" "Ah, Gevrek." "Ah!" "What's this?" "Enjoy wearing it." "Goodbye forever." "Signed:" "Hediye the Clown." "Goodbye forever?" "Hediye, did you knit me a sweater?" "Hello?" "Vet." "We have a gift for you." "Who are you?" "What gift?" "May your cheekbones sag..." "In the blink of an eyelid!" "May you die!" "Hediye?" "Who are you, mister?" "What do you want from the girl?" "Hediye." "Hello?" "Nothing." "Why don't you come over for a chat?" "You know the deal with the police." "Tell me the address, oaf." "Wherever it is, I'll come." "What do you want from Hediye?" "Go on, the address." "I'm sending you the location." "Like a big-time professor has nothing to do but rescue his maid!" "Get real, will you!" "And you try to be mafia." "Fart-for-brains!" "Just look at you." "You horse-thief lookalike!" "Shut it, woman!" "Couldn't you just have kidnapped the guy?" "She was the only one home." "I didn't want problems." "I'd seen her before." "I took her for his sister." "You messed up." "You failed." "You screwed up." "He doesn't care about me." "You should've kidnapped that tramp, Sultan." "Then you'd have seen Niyazi come running here at the double." "They're having an affair." "Sure." "He's become a kept man." "It's in the papers." "Haven't you heard?" "All kinds of pictures, wild nights out, dancing, parties." " And God knows what else." " Enough!" "Don't yell at me!" " I'll ram it down your throat." "Loser!" " Enough." "Mahmut, how do you turn her off?" "Tape up her mouth..." "Pour cement into her, anything." "The girl has a mouth like a chainsaw." "Selahattin." "Tie her up." "Get off." "Stop." "May your hands shrivel and you die cursed." "Black rats!" "May jackals eat your backsides!" "Take her to the stables, Mahmut." "Take her to the stables!" "We're the talk of the town, Sultan." "Not even a frame of blackmail material." "You wicked professor." "Come here." "The man slept like a rhino." "You think he realized?" "So, Professor Niyazi." "Let's hear it." "Where's the girl?" "Hear what?" "About last night." "Did it relieve you going to bed with Sultan?" "You should at least have enjoyed it." "Speaking your language will make me foul-mouthed." " Piece of trash." " Shut up!" "Not a sound when you're grazing, but see the knife and you're bleating." "What do you want from me?" "I'm victim and prisoner." "What is this?" "Victim." "Victim." "You win the Aegean Derby for me." "Whether you give the horse a shot or jockey her yourself is up to you." "Victim, huh?" " Where's the girl?" "What do you want?" " What we want is simple, vet." "Make my horse come first and you won't die." "That's all." "How do you mean?" "That's how we are, vet." "If you can't satisfy..." "You won't excite." "Don't lust after everyone's girl." "No." "This horse won't run." "He has a bad infection." "Superman wouldn't even win with him." "Take him away." "OK." "If he can't win, this one will." "I have a lot of horses." "Talk to the mic." "I'm not doing anything." "Good grief." "A person stays human with what they reject." "Riza, I'm not rich." "Untie me and let me go." "I won't tell anyone." "What's your problem?" " What do you think, plonker?" " Shh!" "Dr. Niyazi, did you come here for me?" "No, I came as a tourist." "Dear God!" "I'm strung out here." "Shut up." "Your phone's ringing." "Give it here." "Sultan." "Hello?" " Dr. Niyazi?" " He's in the shower." "Who should I say is calling?" " Riza?" " Yes, it's Riza." "Riza." " I'm making my own video with Niyazi." " For God's sake." "That's slander." "Look at your gaffes, not to mention your creased shirt." "Shut up!" "How's it going, bride?" "You threw an end-of-singledom party, huh?" "And with this oaf." " I demand explanations, not give them." "Really?" "Your vet will be at our wedding on the groom's side." "Just so you know." "Damn you, Riza." "Damn you." "Damn me, huh?" "Good." "A lady outside and fishwife at home." " I love it." " God damn you." "Now look." "You prime this horse for the race." "Or else I'll bury you both alive." "OK?" "OK." "Untie the girl." "She's my assistant." "I can't do it without her." "Give it here." "OK." "Dr. Niyazi." " I hope the horse doesn't die." " I hope so too, Hediye." "OK, vet." "Is the medicine ready?" "Yes." "What's this?" "One is quite enough." "Fill it up." "Here." "This one, too." " One is enough for the animal." " Fill it up, I said." "This one's for the horse." "If we don't win the race..." "This one's for you." "I accept whatever comes my way, Riza." " But let Hediye go home." " OK, but after the race, vet." "After the race." "Yes, race lovers, the 75th Aegean Derby will be starting any minute." "There's a massive crowd, a lot of interest." "It's an event for choice thoroughbreds..." "And just to remind you a no sweepstakes race." "They're slowly heading for the start." "There's one small change to the race." "Riza Kabakoz's Shah Riza..." "Has been withdrawn due to injury." "He'll be replaced..." "By the same owner's Old Man at No. 3." "All revenues raised by the race Will be spent on animal welfare." "And the top prize has been announced as 1 million lira." "Well, well!" "Look who's here." "Our bet's still on, isn't it, Ms. Sultan?" "I've organized the registrar." " And me the imam." " OK." "We'll do a religious wedding, too." "The imam's for the funeral." "What right have you to take my vet..." "Talking division of property before marriage is shameful." "Forgotten something, professor?" "Yes, thanks to you." "That I'm human." "I'm no longer human." "The bet's off." "Count me out." "A person's word is their honor." "I forgive no one who breaks it." "And I forgive no one who schemes behind my back." "What's done is done." "I forgive you both." "I forgive you." "Sit back, enjoy the race." "I'm going." "I'll pick up Hediye." "I can go by myself." "Sit down, vet." "Sit down." "I'll speak to you both after the race." "And all is ready for the 75th Aegean Derby." "They're under starter's orders." "And they're off." "The 75th Aegean Derby has begun." "After a mass start, No. 6 Madzi has taken the lead by a small margin." "Just outside is No 5 Night Sultan who's now sharing the lead." "No. 1 Doner Kebab is on the outside." "And No. 7 Gürsoy pushing hard." "No. 3 Old Man is well behind the group." "No. 5 Night Sultan is in the outside lane taking over the lead by a length." "Another favorite, No. 3 Old Man, is lagging far behind." "C'mon, boy." "Move it." "Move it for me." "But he isn't." "Look at him." "He isn't moving." "Vet, what did you give him?" "Have you thought what to say to the press, Riza Kabakoz?" "Into the last 400meters No. 6 Madziis making a real effort." "No. 5 Night Sultan is still in the lead..." "Followed by Madziin second." "But Old Man pushes through from behind." "Night Sultan leads, Old Man is going for it in second." "Night Sultan continues to lead." "Old Man is going for it on the outside." "Old Man is steaming ahead." "Old Man is going for it." " C'mon!" "He's closing in on Night Sultan." "Night Sultan is motoring." "But Old Man..." "Old Man is breaking through." "Old Man is coming." "He takes over the lead." "No. 3 Old Man, owned by Riza Kabakoz, wins the 75th Aegean Derby." "There you go!" "That's my horse!" "God." "God." "God." "There you go!" "Members of the press." "We also have something else to celebrate today." "Ms. Sultan will give you the good news." "Go ahead." "Yes, for me too it's been a very spontaneous thing." "But as you know, Sultan Sahmerdan is full of surprises." "We've decided to get married." "Dr. Niyazi and I are getting married!" "What?" "We're doing what?" "What are you talking about, Sultan?" "Now, most of you won't know Professor Niyazi Gül." "The fact that he's an outsider really attracted me." "He can't attract you." "I won't allow it." "Yes, racing lovers." "Interesting things are happening out on the course." "Old Man, the winner, hasn't stopped." "He's still running at the same speed." "His jockey can't control him." "Watch out, racing lovers." "Mahmut." "Old Man." "Where's the vet, Mahmut?" "Find him fast." "Find him." "The beast, he's a cheat, a fraud, a thief, a smartass..." " And outrageously handsome." " Dr. Niyazi?" "No, Riza!" "Riza!" "It's Mr. Riza, the very man." "What is it, Riza?" "I worshipped you, Sultan." "Look at the man you swapped me for." "But you'll be mine!" "Because you're in love with me." "Maniac." "Megalomaniac." "I love Niyazi." "I'm marrying him." "He's helped me time and again." "Say you aren't!" "Say it's a lie!" "You can't marry him!" "I won't let you live!" "Either of you!" "You're mine, Sultan." "Mine!" "No, I'm not." "You understand?" "I'm not." "No one can love you like I do, Sultan." "No one can know you like I do." "I know everything about you." "Every single thing." "Damn you!" "Oh fuck!" "Pardon me, Ms. Sultan." "No." "Fuck, fuck!" "So we've been broadcasting live to Mr. Riza." "Sultan TV Ultra HD." "Officials report that Riza Kabakoz will be fined 1 million lira..." "If traces of doping are found in his horse, Old Man which bolted after the Aegean Derby and is still roaming loose in Izmir." "Mr. Riza, I'd like to cover your losses with my own funds." "I'll pay you over the years in installments from my salary." "You just don't see the problem, vet." "The money doesn't matter." "What matters is you stole my Sultan away." "Good grief." "You messed with her head." "You wrecked an epic romance." "But thank God for revenge." "Let me say your last prayer for you, vet." " What's the need for prayers?" " The Al-Fatiha." "God!" "Dad, Dad." "God." "The vet's dead." "Never heard of Spil Mountain, Mahmut?" "The boat's organized." "Tomorrow morning from Foça to Lesbos." "OK, the boat's organized." "But where's my leading lady?" " Some fairytale!" " I say we beat it fast." "Downtown is dodgy." "They'll soon find the vet's corpse." "There's also the doping thing." " We'll come back when things calm down." " We aren't going, Mahmut." "We aren't going anywhere without Sultan." "Get off!" "Jackal cubs!" "We caught her running away." "What have you done to my Niyazi?" "Where is he, dog?" "Niyazi is dead." " He met a sticky end." " What do we do with her?" "We'll deal with her tomorrow." "We aren't serial killers." "Take her to the stables." "Niyazi." "My Niyazi's gone." "My Niyazi." "Whoa!" "Who's there?" "Who are you?" "Psst." " Look at that." "Should make money." " Hopefully." " We did a good job." " OK." "Here we go." " Have another crate." " Here we go then." "What are you doing?" "What's going on?" "Isn't that the prof?" " Drop the fish!" " It's him." "It's the prof." "What are you doing?" "Put the stick down." "The guy's a professor." "Prof. Prof, come here." "It's Metin." "Metin." "Metin the tick." "Zarife's owner." "Don't you recognize me?" "Oh my God." "He's totally lost it." "I thought he'd remember things here." "But there's no hope." "Niyazi." "Don't you recognize me?" "Look, it's Kemal." "And this is Ferruh." "The lizard's dad." "Recognize us, huh?" "A man like that, barking one minute, farting the next." "Pick an animal." "Wait." "We'll soon see." "I've cracked it." "Here." "Over here." "No." "He's a cat." "The way he's acting isn't human." "God!" "He's turned seriously weird." "You think a trip to the hamam might help?" "Hediye." "Hediye." "Hediye." "Hediye!" "Hediye!" "Hediye!" "Hediye!" "Hediye!" "Jump in, quick!" "What's going on?" "Wait for me!" "Wait!" "Hey, wait!" "Dr. Niyazi, use some brakes." "Step off the gas now and then." "Hediye!" "Niyazi, checking the rear-view mirrors is crucial for a safe drive!" "But you aren't!" "I can see from here." "Niyazi!" "C'mon, get a grip!" "Get a grip!" "Boo!" "God, God, God!" "Why are you beating the car?" "You know what "süveyda" is, Süleyman?" ""Süveyda"?" "Right in the middle of the heart..." "There's said to be a tiny, jet black dot." "A mini chest where certain feelings and sins..." "Are locked away." "Like the core of the heart." "As love has escaped me..." "My heart has shrunk so small..." "That I feel like it's crashing around inside that pitch-black chest." "Did I ask for so much, Süleyman?" "No." "No, I did." "I wanted him to love just me." "But I was defeated." "I admit it." "Because I'm in love, too." "But Mr. Riza loves you back." "You know the most painful thing about it?" "Sultan Sahmerdan is defeated by no one." "Not even herself!" "What's going through your mind?" "Victory." "Victory or nothing!" "Let's go." "Hey, stop!" "Just stop, man!" " Cool it, Niyazi." " Dr. Niyazi." "Stop." "Wait for us." "Niyazi!" "Niyazi!" "Hediye!" "Niyazi!" "Niyazi, where are you going?" "Come back, Niyazi." "Niyazi..." " He's been struck by electricity!" " Find a wooden stick!" "Where's some wood?" "This is wood." "Be patient." "He's found some." "Don't hit his head!" "Don't hit his head!" "Hediye." "Hediye." "Stop!" "Don't move!" "Hands up!" "Hediye!" "Dr. Niyazi!" "Guns!" "Gunshots!" "They fired gunshots!" "Hello?" "Hello, police?" " Have you found Sultan, Mahmut?" " I'm on the case." "What case, Mahmut?" "The staircase?" "How soon will you find her?" "Murderer!" "Animal murderer!" "My Niyazi's murderer!" "May you hurry to the corpse washers!" "I pray to God you're buried bolt upright in the grave..." "So your back and your butt are never comfortable!" "Foul blabbermouth!" "Evil ogre!" "Bury her, Mahmut!" "Bury her!" "Hediye!" "Dammit, isn't the vet dead yet?" "Mahmut, how many lives does he have?" "Dr. Niyazi!" "Hediye." "Catch him fast!" "Mahmut, bring the girl here." "Shoot him, Mahmut!" "What's going on?" "Niyazi!" " Let the girl go!" " Yeah, right." "Leave you all the girls!" "They'll kill us, Niyazi." "Let's run!" "Seems like you missed my fist, vet." "Elephants never forget the punches they take." "Take this!" "What's up with you, man?" "Keep away from me." "Keep away!" "Are you psycho, are you stoned, are you boned or what?" "I told you to let the girl go." "What did you want from my beloved, Mr. Riza?" "I wanted Sultan." "Only the good love, do they?" "Only you have a heart, do you?" "The bad love, too." "And I'm in love." "In love with Sultan." "Head over heels in love." "Riza!" "Sultan." "Are you OK?" "You're here, right?" "I'm here, don't worry." "Let's go, Hediye." "Ah, Dr. Niyazi!" "Dr. Niyazi!" "Are you OK?" "May God punish you!" "Niyazi!" "Please, Niyazi!" "What's up, Niyazi?" "Open your eyes." "Police!" "What's up, Niyazi?" "Of all people the vet needs hospital!" "Niyazi, I'll never upset you again." "Doctor, we're losing the patient." "Increase 50 units." "Grandpa?" "Grandpa?" "Niyazi, don't be afraid, child." "I'm not afraid, but..." "Why have I got younger, Grandpa?" "I feel cold blowing on the back of my neck." "That's how it is in boot camp, child." "Do you know why you're here, Niyazi?" "I have so many troubles." "Which should I talk about?" "You're here through your own stupidity." "This wouldn't have happened if you'd written down my last request." "The call to prayer started, Grandpa." "Pin your ears back this time." "That's what will save you." "What's going on?" "Grandpa!" "Dad!" "Dad, it's a matter of life and death." "Stop playing!" "What was that, Grandpa?" "Milk?" "Milk what?" "Dad, stop!" "Am I here to dance?" "It's a matter of life or death." "My heart will stop, Dad." "Dad!" "Milk thistle." "Milk thistle." "The missing plant is milk thistle." "Yes." "Niyazi Gül, Miracle of Nature" "Niyazi Gül and the Milk Thistle Miracle" "A Success Story Born of Milk Thistle" "Turkish Professor's Amazing Success" "Turkish Professor Wins Nobel Nomination" "With the authority vested in me by the Ministry of Justice..." "And before witnesses, I pronounce you man and wife." "You may kiss the bride." "Thank you." "Can you wait three years for me, Sultan?" "Never heard of love, Riza?" "Niyazi, do you really love me?" "Hediye, if the kidnapping thing hadn't happened..." "Such a close relationship might not have been possible..." "But everything has its positive side." "It's the same with animals, you know?" "Take the rhesus monkey on Madagascar." "Especially when the female's in danger the animal's sweat glands..." "Professor!" "Yes?" "You'll make me do things I regret." "You'll make me blow a fuse." "It's impossible to joke with you." "Of course I love you." "Are you crazy?" "I fought hard with my bodily urges actually." "I said to myself, 'What are you doing?" "' But then I let go." "Life is short, birds fly, as the poem goes." "But this bird mustn't fly." "Want some pastries?" "Sure." "I love them." "Hello." "Can we have four of those?" " Are they hot?" " Piping hot." "Can we have well-cooked ones?" "Let's get the dog bones from the butcher." " For Gevrek?" " We've really neglected him."