"# Hold fast to the law # of the last cold tome" "# Where the earth of the truth" "# Lies thick upon the page" "# And the loam of faith in the ink long fled" "# From the drone of the nib flows on" "# Till the last of the first depart" "# And the least of the past is dust" "# And the dust" "# The dust is lost" "# Hold fast" "# Gormenghast #" "(Wailing)" "Heave, Your Ladyship." "As the brute in pursuit of the oval ball." "Shut up, Squallor!" "Heave-ho!" "As the matelot with the hempen rope." " Heave!" " Prunesquallor!" "Will you shut up?" "I see genitalia." "It is of a sex, Ladyship." "What kind?" " Which sex?" " A brand new Groan." "Squallor, what is it?" "I spy testiclia, and thereabouts also a tinkle!" " It's a..." " An heir, Ladyship." "An heir to the glory of Gormenghast." "It's a boy!" "(Lady Gertrude moans )" "It's a boy!" "A boy!" "It's a boy!" "It's a boy!" "It's a boy!" "(Shouts echo all around)" "It's a boy!" "(Bells chime )" "(Gunshots )" "Come on!" "Come on!" "The ninth day of the month." "The ninth, you dolt." "Didn't I say the ninth?" "It's blue." "The egg should be blue, not red!" "The ninth, Your Lordship." "11 o'clock, release of the five hawks from the north-east turret." "one-fifteen, groaning of the dungeons with Lady Fuchsia." "Four o'clock, blessing of the meat racks." " Six..." " .." "It's a boy!" "It's a boy!" " Damn that racket!" " It's a boy!" "A son for Groan!" "A boy!" "A new earl." "(Splutters )" "The seventy-seventh." "Born on the ninth." "No." "I don't want a brother." " Who says I want a brother?" " A little lordship." "Nannie, why didn't anyone ask me?" "oh, my weak heart." "I can't wait to see him and squeeze him to death." "You're a silly old fool!" "Why doesn't anyone understand me?" " My own little boy." " Get me some food." "I'm furious." "I'm going to have a dream." "And it's going to be a long one." "Why do I always have to wait till doomsday?" "I am only the daughter of the Earl of Groan, aren't I?" "All right, then." "I'll starve!" "I could smack him already." "It's a boy." "(Cries of delight)" "(Drunken man ) Come hither!" "Come hither!" "Come hither!" "We celebrate." "(Drunkenly) Close ranks, my little ones." "Tell me, my stenching little cherubs..." "Tell me extra quickly and I will sing a song to you." "Who am I?" "(All) Abathia Swelter, the father of excellence and plenty!" "Correct...my fairy boys." "I am your dada." "I am your flower of flatulence, your gorgeous, gaseous bud." "Where is he?" "Where is he?" "Where is that slug of summer?" "That stench of goat, Steerpike!" "Where is he?" "(All) There, sir!" "By the barrels!" "Steerpike, my ray of addled sunshine." "Why should I sing to you, a creature of no more consequence than a stoat's shit?" "Why don't I just crush you in my paw?" "Why don't I smash you into pieces?" "Put...down...boy." "Mr Flay, the spidery servant on his measly legs." "Drop...boy." "oh, Mr Flay." "Is the time come?" "Is it?" "Drop boy." "Chef of kitchen." "Chef of scum!" "You are in my kitchen kingdom, servant." "This is the domain of Swelter." " How dare you!" " Flay, manservant to the Earl." "How dare you...!" "(Breaks wind)" "How dare you!" "How dare you!" "(Breaks wind)" "How dare... (Breaks wind)" "The farter has fallen." "No respect for stones." "Vile thing." "(Spits )" "one of Swelter's striped rats." "Yes, sir." "You helped me, sir." " Help?" "You?" " Yes, sir." "You told him to drop me." "Please." "I'm lost and I'm dying of heat from the kitchens." "Don't want Swelter slug." "Go!" "Please, sir." "Show me daylight and I'll go." "Please help me leave the vile Swelter." "Vile?" "Why say vile?" "What you done?" "Done, sir?" "When?" "Nothing, sir." "Nothing at all." "I am unhappy, sir." "Unhappy?" "This rebellion?" "No, sir." "No rebellion, sir." "None at all." "I am loyal to my castle. only rebellion against the vile Swelter." "Swelter!" "Leave him in fat and grease." "Never in stone lanes." "Hold your tongue!" "Teach you to be unhappy when Groan is born." "A Groan, sir?" "Let me see." "Please." "Let me see a Groan." "See a Groan?" "You?" "Show you, kitchen rat." "See what you have never seen." "Forward, Swelter slug." "This cat room." "Whose are they?" "Show you." " Name?" " Steerpike, sir." " Queerpike?" " Steerpike, sir." "Steerpike." "Squeertyke-Squeertyke?" "Twice?" "What for?" "once enough for kitchen thing." " Whose are they, sir?" " Ladyship." "See." " Ladyship room." " oh." "(Groan ) Did you notice anything unusual about the boy?" "Structurally, as sound as a bell." "Did you see his face?" "I noticed his face, sir." "If that's of any help." "Did you notice anything strange?" "Don't be afraid to speak out." " Strange, Lordship?" " The face, Prunesquallor." "The face." " His face was irregular, sir." " Unnatural?" "." " Irregular." " Ugly?" "Unnatural." "When I say ugly, use the word." "Have you ever delivered a more hideous child?" "Never, my lord!" "Never!" "And he has such extraordinary eyes." "Eyes?" "What's wrong with them?" "They are violet, my lord." "(Flay ) Seen enough!" "These are not for you." "Back to hell and Swelter." "No, sir." "Please...not the kitchens!" " Where you belong." " He's ugly, sir." "I heard it." "The new lordship's unnatural." "Lord Groan says so." "So?" " Not the kitchens." "Please." " Spit it out, sink boy." "If I go back, I'll tell them what I heard." "You heard nothing." " They'll all know he's hideous." " You'll say nothing." "I'll fix you!" "Little Lordship ugly?" "Hideous?" "Teach you, Swelter rat!" "(Keys jangle )" "No rebellion here." "No insult to these stones from you." "(Lock turns )" "At least it's not the kitchens." "(Choir sings )" "(Slow mechanical ticking)" "Whose is all this?" "Titus Groan!" "Titus!" "Titus!" "Bring him in now, you idiot!" "over here!" "Here!" "There. over there." "By His Lordship." "This is a naming, woman." "Not a tea dance." "Your Lordship." "As the 76th Earl of Groan, it is written that you shall now accompany your son and heir to the iron bowl of moat water." "Here, to the bowl." "This!" "This!" "Does it hold water like a bowl?" "." "Then it's a bowl." "Here woman!" "(Slow ticking)" "Down!" "Into the pages of the book." "It is written, and it shall be adhered to, that between these pages, where the flax is grey, with the wisdom, the first-born male child of the House of Groan..." " Why does he get all the glory?" " Why not us?" "(Both) Why not us?" "..his head directed towards the water." "Head!" "Head!" "And that these pages, heavy with the words of ritual ceremony, and his future life shall be bent in and around him," "so that he is engulfed..." " Why has she got all the power?" " It's ours." "Groan's our brother." "..and is as one with the inviolable law." "How much longer?" "(Bell chimes )" "(Baby cries ) oops!" "Like rubber, Your Ladyship." "Every ounce a bounce." "What's that?" "I was referring to your child who's just fallen." " Has he?" "Where?" " He's here, ladyship." "oh." "We'll go for a walk." "15 minutes on the lawn." "Master Chalk could do with the air." "Can't you, dear?" "Come, my precious." " He's ugly." " So are you." "I like him now he's ugly." "(Ticking)" "Where have you been for the past 15 years ?" "We've been in the South Wing." " We've been thinking." " About what?" " Power." " Shh!" "(Bird caws )" "Inheritor of the powers I hold, continuer of the bloodstock of the stones, approach now the purity of the stream of Gormenghast." "Where, named and feted, you shall be consecrated as Titus, 77th Earl of Groan," "and Lord of Gormenghast." "(Religious chanting)" "Child, welcome to the fastness." "Made it!" "(Gunfire and pealing bells)" "Come along, ladies." "Come along." "Irresistible." "You barbarise one, Seor Swelter." "You positively barbarise one." "oh, Mr Flea." "Don't leave as if you haven't a friend in the world." "Allow me to introduce you to some of my boys." "They're your own sort, from the gutters." "They're my little spittle boys." "Yes." "Now, come along." "Permit me to introduce to you, Master Springers." "Master Springers, Mr Flea." "Mr Flea, Master Springers." "This is Master Wrattle." "Master Wrattle, Mr Flea." "Mr Flea, Master Wrattle." "Kitchen scum." "Isn't he sweet, Your Ladyship?" " Who?" " His Little Lordship." " What should I do with him?" " He's had his bath." "Well, what about it?" "Go away." "Bring him back when he's six." "(Whistles )" "Master Chalk!" "Where are you?" "(Chuckles )" "W..." "Whoa!" "(Inhales deeply)" "Gormenghast!" "(Steerpike sighs )" "Who are you, then?" "He's not so bad after all." "No." "Pinched nose, flat head." "Weird, weird eyes." "No." "No, not so bad." "Not so bad, is he?" " oh, Your Ladyship!" " He is my little brother." " oh, His Little Lordship." " oh, Nannie." " Isn't he sweet?" " oh, Nannie, I love him." "And you!" "They dropped him on his head and he is so ugly!" "I love him." "ooh!" "Put me down, you naughty girl." "oh, you need a good smack." " I will see him every fortnight." " My poor heart." "And she says," ""Get a wet nurse from the village."" "I can't manage them steps at my age." "Getting me to go out at this time of night." "It's not right." "(Slate smashes ) I'll catch me death." "Keeper!" "open it up." "Lackadaisical creature, slow as a snail." "Hurry up." "I'm cold." "Don't she know how far it is to the village?" "Up there with her birds." "(Bell chiming)" "(Children's laughter)" "(Lute music)" "out of me way!" "out of me way!" "I've got an important announcement." "Carvers." "Low servants of the castle." "Lowest of the low." "I haven't come to talk about the Ceremony of the Bright Carvings - that is as it is and always will be." "That is the business of higher people." "Higher than me, I mean." "I have come to give you some wonderful news." "A new, little Groan has been born." "A boy of the blood." "A new master." "I am in charge, as per usual." "And I want a wet nurse for him to come back with me." "At once." "Who are you?" "I said, "Who are you?" Answer me at once." "Keda." "I am with child." "(Spits )" "I don't want to stay here." "I have no man." "I want to come." "Please!" "I am strong." "Please take me." "You'll do." "(Crash)" "(owl hoots )" "Her Ladyship, Fuchsia Groan." "I'm in." "Fuchsia never eats enough to grow?" "And you don't feed him." "Take it, Lordship." "Take it." "This is your little sister's milk." " "Sister"?" "What do you mean?" " I'm carrying his foster sister." " How do you know it's a girl?" "." " I know." "That is no sister to a Groan." "His sister is the Lady Fuchsia." "This is her breakfast." "A foster child won't go near him." "He's a lordship, she's a carver." " He's them, she's you!" " Her father was a great man." " He was the best carver." " He's dead." "And the carvers won't have his illegitimate child there." "How dare you mix up the lord of Gormenghast with a little..." "Bastard?" "You can think what you like." "But she's mine, whatever you want to call her." "Don't talk to me like that in the presence of His Little Lordship!" "You stupid girl!" "I have work to do." "I can't work with my bad chest if you upset me." "His Little Lordship will never get mixed up with..." "He'll be where he belongs." "Everybody in their right place." "I'm too old." "I'm too old for all of this." "(Keda whispers ) I know she will be your little sister." "And you will love her." "(Knocking on door)" " Go away." " (Nannie ) You've got to eat." "How will you grow up?" "You are the naughtiest girl." "Go away!" "I'm going to have an adventure." "Doctor Prune has got a present for you." " I don't care." "What is it?" " Let me in and I'll tell you." "When I am Queen, I am going to burn down the castle." "What did you say?" "open this door." "oh, you are the wickedest girl." "You are the most..." "Fuchsia?" "(Fuchsia laughs )" "I am Fuchsia." "I am me!" "Don't be frightened." "Wait and see!" "oh?" " Go away!" "What are you doing here?" " The Lady Fuchsia Groan, I believe." "Nobody comes here." "This is mine." "I hate you!" " Madam?" " Go away!" "Go!" " Madam, I have seen such things!" " This is private." "Forgive me, madam." "But your book, that I couldn't help glancing at... the adventures in there are nothing to what has happened to me." "Really happened." "You wouldn't believe me." "B..." "Believe what?" "Shh!" "I have seen a great pavement in the sky." "I have been colder than ice." "I have had no food or sleep." "Lady Fuchsia, I am a rebel." " I come for sanctuary." " Sanctuary?" " Like a knight, your Ladyship." " You're wearing kitchen clothes." "That's where I escaped from." "My name is Steerpike." "I cannot tell you about the pavement in the clouds...yet." "Why?" "There are many mysteries in this world." "Some may be too strong for the delicate heart of a lady such as yourself." " You are an adventurer." " Exactly." "I am a man of purpose." "Hide me, I beg you." "Employ me, and I will never let you down." " I swear it." " You will swear an oath?" "I am yours to do with as you will." "What is that awful stink?" "It's the filthy dregs you poured over me, madam." " You'd better wash, hadn't you?" " Yes, Ladyship." "Well?" "." "Don't just stand there kneeling." "Follow me." "Don't forget you promised to find me employment." "I did not!" "How dare you tell such lies!" "I apologise, madam." "You are my queen." "My absolute queen." "I am in your hands." "Your minstrel, Steerpike." "oh, good!" "oh, good!" "(Cock crows )" "Come on!" "Come on!" "(Roars )" "(Knocking on door)" "Go away." "I'm not here now." "(Nannie calls) It's Dr Prune." "He's got a present for you." " My present." "I forgot my present." " Your clown, madam." "Please don't ever forget your clown." "Nannie." " The doctor's waiting, Ladyship." " In a minute." "I'll come to you." "oh, good!" "Good!" "(Nannie ) A kitchen boy!" "How could you shame yourself?" "Quiet, Nannie!" "I want my present." "Well, well." "You've brought a friend, have you?" "Master Steerpike, sir." "At your service." "I don't know about "at my service"." "I wouldn't have any service left if everyone was suddenly "at" it." ""In" my service would be preferable." "That's all right, then." "He's come for a job." "Where's my present?" "My dear Mrs Slagg." "I have always been fascinated by those who want to work." "(Bell rings ) What do you fancy, Fuchsia, my dear child?" " Elderberry...to tide you over?" " What's my present, Dr Prune?" "Ah, your present!" "I saw the diamant in your teardrops when your brother was born." "Diamant!" "What is it?" "Diamonds?" "A-ha!" "And you, sir?" "What in the name of hosiery is that you're wearing?" "A kitchen jacket, kitchen trousers and kitchen shoes." "All about me is kitchen." "Which is insulting." "I'll take a brandy, thank you." "I see." "And if you are not kitchen, what's beneath that fetid attire, eh?" "Are you a problem case or without ideas?" "With your permission, sir, neither." "I have plenty of ideas - problems too!" "My first is to impress you with my talent so I may serve you." "My!" "Well, what maladdress!" "What enormity of surface!" "You tantalise me in a pleasant sort of way, Master Steerpike." "But whether I want you hanging about my house is another kettle of fish." " I never hang about, sir." " You hung about in my room." " He climbed there." "He's clever." " Kitchen boy!" "It's as a dispenser, I see myself." "Do you have any knowledge of the pharmaceuticals?" " Under you, I could learn." " A diabolically clever monster!" "Sir, your service is a bit slow." "Perhaps I might pep it up a little?" "I'm bored talking about him." "What about my present?" "of course, my dear." "Master Steerpike, would you be so good... (Door closes )" "Goodness me." "May I open the door for you?" "You look as if you're having difficulty." "(Prunesquallor) Mollocks!" "No more kitchens for me." "It's almost too easy." "Thank you Dr Pru." "Thank you." "Ah, ladyship." "Take care, my dear." "Happy dreams." "I'm afraid I'm still here, Doctor." "What is that?" "!" "That, my dear sister, is Master Steerpike, who wishes to serve us." "Did he go upstairs?" "I heard feet." "And what is wrong with feet?" "I've always found mine most useful." "Especially when walking." "They're almost purpose-built." "You are drunk with your own levity." "I heard feet and you take no notice!" "I also heard something, madam." "I was waiting here, for the doctor's decision, when I heard feet." "I told you so, Alfred." "I crept up the stairs, but there was no one there, so I returned." "Thank you, Mr...?" "Steerpike." "You're welcome." "Standing before me in your exquisite gown of darkness..." ""Exquisite gown of darkness." oh, that's good." "I have an overwhelming desire to serve you." "A bounteous lady like yourself may be unwilling, but tomorrow, if I may, I shall remove that stain" "I see on the hem of this exquisite gown that so becomes you." "Well, exquisite, bounteous, and albeit stained, begowned sister." "I..." "I think we shall dress him in pale grey." "Yes!" "(Claps )" "Where shall I sleep?" "# I heard a winter tree in song" "# Its leaves were buds" "# A hundred strong" "# When all at once" "# It ceased to sing" "# For every leaf" "# Had taken wing #" "Titus." "You will be free." "(Bell tolls)" "You make me late." "You wicked boy!" "(Barquentine ) Come on!" "Come on!" "The Ceremony of the Bright Carvings." "From the sunrise to the night of the moon." "In eternal day and eternal night." "What has been has always been, and will always be Gor-men-ghast!" "(Crowd) Gormenghast!" "Carvers create beauty for the delectation of the lord." "His Lordship will now select the best carvings." "The rest will be burnt." "(Gong)" "Well, they've all got to go sooner or later." "Which one first?" "(Crowd sighs )" "(Gong)" "(Prunesquallor) We have been doubly privileged." "First the ceremony, and then a visit from your good selves." " Who's he?" " I am your servant, madam." "Madam." " What's he here for?" " only your gracious patronage." " only your favour." " Say it again." "only your gracious favour." "We'll give it to him." "You can take us home." "I am honoured." "Climbs faster than Virginia creeper." " (Cora ) All this could be ours." " (Clarice ) The whole place." "(Cora ) We had 100 servants and livery and coaches." "(Steerpike ) And she stole them." " What did he say?" " Say it again." "Lady Gertrude stole them." "Everybody knows." "(owl hoots )" "(Both) Wait!" "Mr Steerpike!" "Your apartments, Ladyships." "But they're not fit for ladyships." "(Cora ) What did he say?" "It makes me mad, my lady." "My lady." "It makes me mad, mad, mad!" "I am in such a fury." "How can such gracious, bountiful, generous, beautiful..." "superior ladies..." " (Both) Us?" " ..be the victims of such thieves?" "It makes me mad!" "I am your servant." "With your permission, I pledge my life to restoring your privileges." " our privileges?" " our servants?" " And our thrones?" " We never had thrones!" "All of it." "Livery, thrones, servants, coaches." "The lot." "But what about Gertrude?" "Tell no one what we've said." "Leave it to me." "We did have thrones, I remember." " Lady Clarice." " Cora." "Lady Cora." "You must concentrate on what I am saying." "I have made a pledge." "Do you want your power back?" " (Both) oh, yes!" " Then I shall return." "Good night, my sweet ladies." "(Cora ) What did he say?" "(Both) Sweet ladies!" "Hmm." "(Baby cries )" "(Nannie ) What's up me little sweetness?" "Are you damp, me little adorable?" " (Flay ) Come, quick." "Come." " (Nannie ) Be good, Little Lordship." "You're going to see your papa." "oh, don't cry." "ooh." "Shh." "Put him here." "I have found these for him." "Sit with him, Nurse. on the rug." "I have in mind a family gathering to confer..." "(Nannie sighs )" " What is it, Nurse?" " I am so tired, my lord." "Then lie down." "This day week at eight o'clock, dress the boy in his christening robes and bring him here." "Inform those concerned." "If they're surprised, no matter." "I want to do it." "A gathering to arrange and confirm a breakfast for my son." "The Countess." "Lady Fuchsia." "Their Ladyships, Clarice and Cora." "And perhaps Prunesquallor and his sister." "Yes, Lordship." "Let me see him." "He has improved." " Not so hideous." " He's a gorgeous little one." "Instill into him his time, his birthplace, his heritage," "and a respect for all his fathers." "Will you?" "Perhaps he won't like it." "Do it for me, Nurse." "Flay, take Mrs Slagg back." "You need not return tonight." "Have my room ready." "Lordship." "(Door closes )" "( Quavering) My son." "oh, my son." "(Long wall) Gormenghast!" "(Sobs )" "Mad." "All mad." "(Laughs )" " About time too, you old groaner." " Where'd you get that?" "Shame to let it rust." "Don't you think?" "Such wasters, they are." "That is not for you to say." "Kitchen boy." "Doctor's dispensary clerk, Slagg." "And don't go trying to be superior with me." " We're from the same place." " out of me way." "Drainage." "Talking of places." "I know where you're going now." "How can you?" "That's the business of His Lordship and Mr Flay." "You're visiting the simple sisters." "Half-wits Clarice and Cora." "or is it the other way round, Slagg?" "How dare you!" "How are you feeling, Slagg?" "Heart bad?" "Legs weak?" "It's about another mile past the South Wing, and further." "I'd say you should thank me." " What for?" " I've done it for you." "I told them." "Eight o'clock next Friday." "His Lordship mentioned it to me." "He didn't think you were up to it." "(Whispering) In truth, he wasn't sure you were fit enough to look after his son either." "Not fit?" "For His Little Lordship?" "Don't worry." "I saved your bacon." "I told him you had years in you yet." "Look what I've done for you already!" "Us from the sewer should stick together." "oh, by the way." "Clarice and Cora can't make it." "Illness is the cause, I believe." "or is it dementia?" "Anyway, tell Flay, and he'll think you made the journey yourself." "Good morning, Slagg." "The young prince, with stars for eyes and a half moon for a mouth, was asleep and didn't know that the dwarf with brass teeth was creeping towards him." "(Caws )" "Master Chalk." "Have you come to ask forgiveness for being away so long?" "What is it, Master Chalk?" "What's wrong?" "(Steerpike ) All of this." "Look, there!" "The Tower of Flints in the West Wing." "The Blue Dome in the East." "And the North Wing and Great Library there." "Gormenghast Mountains and the wilderness as far as one can see." "All, all and everything." "What else is there but Gormenghast?" " Who does it belong to?" " (Cora ) Brother Groan." " Who should it belong to?" " (Both) Us." "Let's think about this." "Your brother controls it all." "True." "But is it right and proper?" "Is it just?" "Do you believe it's justice that he has taken everything that is yours?" "Do you believe this injustice should be destroyed?" "So, then, how do you destroy your brother?" "How has he done this to you?" "Why is he so clever?" " He reads books." " Exactly." "Without books, he's not clever and you could defeat him, couldn't you?" "What's the best way to destroy books?" " Um..." "I would burn them." " So would I. With fire." "Hmm?" "The books are in the library." " We oughtn't burn the library." " oh, no." "Lady Clarice." "Lady Cora." "I told you I come in serious errand." "Listen to this." "At the end of next week, His Lordship, your brother, is holding a gathering for the family to discuss a breakfast for Titus." " We can wear purple!" " No, green!" " Purple!" " You are not invited." "Even Prunesquallor and his silly sister have been invited." "But not Lady Clarice and not Lady Cora." " Not invited?" " Lady Clarice?" " Lady Cora?" " Not invited?" "Not invited." "Personally, I think your plan to burn down the library is genius." " (Clarice ) We want to do it!" " (Both) Burn it!" "Burn it!" "Sit down at once!" "I am pledged to help you, am I not?" "If it is your desire," "I will give you instructions on how to burn it down when it is empty." "But only if it is your desire." "Can we watch it burn?" " Do you want to be caught?" " (Both ladies ) No." "Then watch it from here." "You will be quite safe." "(owl hoots )" "A red flower." "Red, Lordship?" "I am a father." "A red flower for my son." "(Steerpike ) Tell me once more." "(Clarice ) We've been indoors." " All the time." " We've been indoors." " (Cora ) All the time." " (Clarice ) We've been indoors." " (Cora ) All the time." " (Clarice ) We've been indoors." " (Cora ) All the time." " (Clarice ) We've..." "The library is now empty." "It's time we started, Your Ladyships." "(Bell tolls)" "These nights that the owls in the Tower of Flints seek their prey as heretofore." "(Titus cries )" "Although against all the usual tradition and log and rhythm of the castle," "His Lordship shall speak the matter on his mind." "It is for my son that I rewind the ritual." "A breakfast for him and for me." "(Barquentine moans )" "Is it too much to ask?" "It shall be done, Master Secretary." "I say this day, two months... (Titus bawls)" "Where is he?" "He said to wait here." "(owl hoots )" "Now." "Congratulations, my ladies." "You have never been braver or more brilliant." " Will we get our coaches?" " of course." "If you do as I say." " Will we get our thrones?" " Everything." "Go home and wait." " Servants?" " Everything." "Now go at once." " Everything...coaches." " Everything...thrones." " (Cora ) Everything...servants!" " (Clarice ) Everything...power!" "(Groan ) As I say, Master Secretary..." "Nannie Slagg, the child!" "# Hold fast to the law # of the last cold tome" "# Where the earth of the truth" "# Lies thick upon the page" "# And the loam of faith" "# In the ink long fled" "# From the drone of the nib flows on" "# Till the last of the first depart" "# And the least of the past is dust" "# And the dust, the dust is lost" "# Hold fast" "# Gormenghast" "Congratulations, ladies." "You've never been braver or more brilliant." "Will we get our coaches?" "Yes." "Do as I've told you." " Will we get our thrones?" " Yes, everything." "Now go back to your apartments and wait." "(Baby cries )" "(Thinks ) Hero, Steerpike." "(Groan ) As I say, Master Secretary, this day two months hence - my lady, the bird " "I say... (Sighs ) Nurse, the child." "I want a breakfast for him, it's that simple." "He is my son, isn't he?" "Are you hungry, my love?" "The time chosen, is when we should be celebrating the laureate." "The poet can wait." "Why is everybody so old?" "The sol...the solst..." "The solstice." "The solstice can't!" "Neither, then, can the consecration of the moat." "(Whimpers )" "Irma, my dear!" "Clearly scheduled for that day by rote and moon." "Squallor, what's with your sister?" "A case of atmosphere, as far as I can judge, Your Ladyship." "Smoke, Alfred, smoke!" "Flay, open the door." "I think that's settled, Mr Secretary." "As this gathering was sanctioned without my knowledge" "I shall consider its conclusions to be an aberration to go un-noted, unrecorded and unrepeated." "Door locked, Lordship." "Locked, Alfred, it's locked!" "(Irma screams ) What's that?" "A bird, my dear, flying high, out of the...ah, smoke." "Mrs Slagg, kindly convey His Minute Lordship to the door and hold his mouth to the keyhole." "I never heard of such a thing." "(Gertrude ) Where's my rook?" "What shall we do, Dr Pru?" " Is there another door?" "Lordship?" " I don't know where." "Could we breach the original?" "." "Battery and assault." " Flay!" " oak, Lordship." "Four inch." "(Screams ) Flames!" "Alfred!" "Flames!" "Slagg!" "Take his young master to the door!" "As I told you." "We're going to be trapped by flames." " Dr Pru..." " Damned gathering!" "This is what you get for unprecedented breakfasts!" "Flame?" "My library!" "Slagg!" "The child!" "The keyhole!" "(Groan ) My books!" "Alfred!" "Irma, my humiliating sister, please sit down." "Alfred will do the rest." "We're going to die!" "Sit down, damn you!" "(Gertrude ) Squallor!" "Lady Fuchsia, see that Mrs Slagg keeps Titus by the door." "Squallor, is that you?" "It is, or rather Prunesquallor, which is, if I may say so, more strictly correct." "Quiet man!" "Smash a window!" "Yes, Your Ladyship." "Dr Pru, over here, it's Mrs Slagg." "Ladyship, hold him to the keyhole." "No, no, lie still." "There is air beneath the door." " Yes, lie..." "lie still." " Yes, doctor." "Flay!" "Mr Flay!" "Where is the largest window?" "The north wall..." "can't reach it...no balcony." "(Splutters ) Alfred!" "Come, Ladyship, give me the child." "Now, ask your father to throw his cane at the window." "Yes." "Is that you Fuchsia?" "Where's Master Chalk?" "Damn the bird!" "Tell your father to smash the glass!" "What did you say, Squallor?" "Come here!" "My books, my books." "Father, the doctor said your cane, Father... (Barquentine yells)" "Mr Flay!" "Doctor Pru!" "The Secretary's on fire!" "He's burning!" "Here, hold your son." "Mr Flay!" "(Groan ) My books!" "My books!" "Leave him, Flay!" "Take your master's cane and throw it at the window!" "(Barquentine yells, baby screams )" "My books!" "Throw it, man!" "Not heavy enough, madam." "Paperweight on the table!" "Find it!" "Throw the paperweight!" "Where?" "I can't find it." "Then climb the shelves to the window and smack it with the cane." "Help her, Mr Flay!" "Master Chalk!" "Master Chalk!" "Alfred!" "I'm your sister!" "Keep steady, Irma." "Just keep steady." "Flay, hand Her Ladyship the cane to smash the window!" "Help!" "I can't breathe." "(Barquentine ) Get off of me!" "Silence, sister!" "Ladyship, hurry!" "(Screams )" "My books!" "My books!" "Hold on, Here comes the ladder." "My books...my books." "Where's my bird?" "Where is he?" "(Prunesquallor) Wait!" "Master Chalk!" "Where is he?" "Here, take him!" "Take him out of here. out of here!" "Hold him!" "Flay!" "Mrs Slagg!" "Good man, Flay!" "Come now, Mrs Slagg, first the left foot, then the right." " Your Young Ladyship." " Thank you, Dr Pru." "After you, Your Ladyship." "We shall speak, you damned my bird." " oh, Alfred." " Come, squirming sister, it's time to breathe the air." "And you...you, sir, Mr Secretary." "oh." " Lordship..." "Lordship." " My books...my books." "(Excited chatter)" " Let me help you, my Lord." " No, not you." "(Coughing, spluttering)" "My books." "My books." "They burned my books." "Irma, my dear..." "(Birds chirping)" "My son?" "You said the boy." "My son." "Where is my son?" "You said bring the boy, Lordship - the rescuer, it's him." "I meant my son, not him." "I said I want my son." "You'll see him for his damned breakfast." "Get out!" " It was a great privilege..." " I said out!" "Stand there grimacing like a red-arsed baboon." "Get out!" "Thank you, Lordship." "(Barquentine ) The iron rule." "No change..." "Who was that?" "No damned gatherings!" "(Barquentine )..time chosen, we should be celebrating the laureate." "By the rote." "By the way of the stone." "Er, would you care to take the air of the day, Lordship?" "Damned library!" "damned breakfast!" "None of this should have happened!" " Doctor?" " Lordship?" "Who?" "Who burned my books?" " They'll look at us at breakfast." " Because we've the real blood." "And because we're perfect." "(Steerpike sniggers )" "Why don't you knock?" "I beg pardon, Your Ladyships." "Where's our thrones?" "As you said, when we'd burned it." "Every successful revolution has its own pace, Your Ladyships." "Too slow, you rot." "Too fast, you fail." " Slow?" " Rot?" " Fast?" " (Both) What?" "Don't rush." "Power must have secure foundations." "Do you want your coaches, your servants?" "(Both) our thrones!" "For a weekend - then give them back?" " We won't." " We haven't got them." "Not yet, but you will." "Why don't you listen to me?" "Haven't I helped you?" "Look how far you've come already." "Don't you trust me?" "Do you want me to go away?" "I'll go any time you want." " He told us to burn." " We'll tell them." "We can say..." "Thrones!" "I have no doubt which you'll choose." "It's unique in the whole history of thrones." "(Both) That one." "How right you are." "I'll see the goldsmith tomorrow." "We want them soon." "Ladies, why insult me?" "Why insult yourselves?" "These are objects of art." "They take time." "What?" "Do you want to be considered laughing stocks, sitting on great big yellow stools?" "If you want the best, you have to wait." " Wait?" " Did he say wait?" " I don't think so." " We'll tell." "You will wait!" "And you will sit down." "And any more talk of burning and you'll be hanged." "Hanged!" "From your tree at the castle wall with the hangman's rope." "I will see to it personally." "Do you understand me?" "Good." "Now, you WILL have your thrones." "They will be the finest ever made." "Just listen - to me." "Go to the breakfast as you've been invited as part of the family." "Keep your mouths shut." "Do you understand?" "You shall have it all." "Gormenghast." "All of it." "All yours." "Now, what do you say?" "(Both sniff) Thank you." "one by one." "We shall stock another three tonight." "This is where the poets will be." "The philosophers over there, I think, hmm?" "Takes much thought to build a library." " How many so far?" " Seven shelves, Father." "Then, three more, child!" "Three more!" "Yes, Father." "That's it!" "Now we have space for the Sonian Poets." "Have you the books ready?" "I've collected them here." "Who are you?" "I'm your daughter." "I have a son." "I know that." "He is... ..Titus." "He will be Earl of Gormenghast when I am dead." "He is my brother." "And so you are my daughter, are you?" "What's your name?" "Fuchsia." "Fuchsia?" "I don't think I know a Fuchsia." "Do I?" "Do I know you, Fuchsia?" "I suppose we don't know each other that well, but I should very much like to know you better." "(Laughs ) Would you?" "Yes, I see." "(Sniffs ) The books, then, Fuchsia." "Here are the poets you asked for." "Shall I put them on the first long shelf for you?" "(Laughs ) The poets." "Ah, yes, the poets." "We should never have had the poets." "They tell us, you see." "Their pen is the pulse..." "Fuchsia." "Their voice is the bell." "Their words... ..travel down..." "..and down... ..and... ..on... ..and on... ..into nothing... ..and on... ..and on... ..into such nothing... ..and nothing..." " ..and nothing..." " Father, the books?" "Gormen... (Screams )" "oh, no, no, no!" "Father, please!" "I can't bear it!" "(Sobs ) Please!" "(Sobs )" "I think you've made a mistake." "You are not my daughter." "How could you be?" "Come here and I'll tell you." "Come, come." "I am not your father." "You see, I live...up there." "You see..." "I am the death owl." "(Snoring)" "(Scraping)" "(Hissing)" "My little precious." "Ha!" "Ha!" "Good night, Mr Flea." "(Yells)" "Won't be long before I go, little one." "It's nearly my time." "Feel your little sister." "She's moving, feel her." "You'll learn from her things you'll never learn here." "I promise you." "I hate it here." "They won't have me down outside, will they?" "I hate them too." "She's better than all of them." "And she's better than you too, though you would never admit it." "Sleep well, little boy." "Dream of her." "(Bell rings )" "(Panting) What's the time?" "What?" "That's His Lordship's kitchen bell." "It's not sunrise." "It's not time for the breakfast." "What's he want to go and ring his bell for in the middle of the night?" "What?" "Breakfast?" "We ain't even done the quails' eggs yet, what's he playin' at?" "oi!" "Slugs!" "Get up!" "Move!" "(Bottle smashes )" "Father!" "(Bell stops ringing)" "Lordship?" "(Flay knocks again )" "Lordship?" "(Knocks again )" "(Knocks more insistently)" "Lordship!" "(Flay bangs on door)" "LoRDSHIP!" "(Bangs ) LoRDSHIP!" "(Key turning in lock)" "Lordship?" "(Hoots )" " Lordship." " Father?" "(Groan hoots again ) Father?" "Father, stop doing that." "Please listen." "I love you." "No!" "out, fart!" "This not for you!" "Back to vile kitchen." "(Groan ) Chef, chef!" "Have you set your traps?" " Traps, Sir?" " Traps." "Are you deaf?" "Are they full or have the cats got them?" "oh, y-y-yeah, mice traps!" "No, no, the...um, cats are out for the night." "What are you waiting for?" "Bring me a mouse." "Twigs - every kind." "I intend to study the twig as one should." "Study and build." "A nest, you idiot." "(Chef imitates Groans hooting)" "(Chef yelps as Groan continues to hoot)" "Doctor, can you do something?" "Yes, take this, Mr Swelter." "Lordship!" "(Hoots )" "May I be of assistance?" "May I help, Doctor?" "(Sniggers )" "I heard the bell." " Who are you?" " Steerpike, Lordship, my assistant." "Talk to him, boy." "Get his attention!" "I assist the doctor in his dispensary, sir." "(Speaks slowly) You may remember me from the library." "The library!" "My library." "(Yells)" "Help me, Steerpike, on to the bed." "Now handle him carefully, do not ruffle his feathers." "(Moans )" " A wing, give me the wing." " What?" "His arm, boy!" "That was quick work, Doctor." "What chemical was that?" "I'm in no mood for the pharmaceutical, Master Steerpike." "Mr Flay, get him dressed for the breakfast." "Breakfast, sir?" "Yes, and why not?" "Lordship is as Lordship does." "Will he be able to go?" "We'll do our best, my little friend." "My dear Chef, why do you look so blue?" "I will prepare the breakfast, as you say, Doctor." "Good." " Soon, Mr Flay." " out." "oh, Doctor..." "Why is everything going so wrong?" "Nothing!" "Nothing!" "Have you never seen a fork before?" "It goes here, here!" "How can I be expected to lay the table for a feast that isn't even in the damned book!" "Huh?" "And will the ass come?" "Having put us to all this, will he come?" "Thinks he's a bird!" "Woo!" "Woo!" "You can button your lip, arsewipe!" "Anything I say here is not for repetition by you!" "Do you understand?" "Damned breakfast!" "My husband is now an owl, Master Chalk." "I'd say it was an improvement." " Ladyship?" " Yes?" "He's in his lavender velvet, Ladyship." "So what?" "Ah, well, I've never done a breakfast, Ladyship." "Secretary Barquentine said lavender for His Smallness." " So why are you asking me?" "Go away." " Yes, Ladyship." "Wait!" "I know this is difficult for you, but I want you to answer a simple question." " Ladyship?" " Stop saying Ladyship." "Who is this, Spearkite?" "Where did you meet him?" "Long ago, Ladyship." "Where, not when." "With the... ..with Lady Fuchsia, L...madam." "And where does he come from?" "Where could he come from, Ladysh..." "madam?" "He must come from somewhere." "The same brilliant Slagg." "And stop crying." "Birds don't cry, cats don't cry, so why should nannies?" "Go away." "(Bird caws )" "Spearkite." "What do you think, Master Chalk?" "(Miaowing)" "(Hisses )" "Motley for the madman?" "Put bells on it." " What do you want?" " You, actually." "The doctor says hurry up." "Me?" "Doctor?" "What for?" "You, Flay." "Lordship, no trousers." "(Hoots )" "Flay." "Can't make whole sentence." "Never mind." "Flay." "Good servant." "If a bit simple." "You dare, boy." "Lick my neck." "Me dirty." "Too much underling in the air!" "(Yells)" "(Gertrude ) out." "(Miaowing and hissing)" "You throw my cat." "You touch my cat!" "You are no more." "You are ENDED." "This castle ejects you!" "(Purrs )" "You stay one week." "one week and another servant shall be found for the Earl." "one week and one week only and then you go!" "Now we have seen true madness, haven't we my little ones?" "True, true madness." "(Tinkle )" "Doctor!" "Where the hell is he?" "(Groan ) I am here, Sir." "(Baby gurgles )" "(Groan ) Mr Secretary, you may begin." "(Barquentine ) Chef!" "Now!" "(Barquentine clears his throat)" "The first breakfast, as unwarranted by tradition, creates a precedence." "(Coughs ) A precedence once accepted becomes tradition." "(Thinks ) I can't bear it." "I love him so much!" "I must be brave." "There's no one else to mind him." "..or as in this case caused by the unhealthy love of father for son." "(Thinks ) Get on with it, you idiot." "Cat thrower." "(Barquentine ) ..remarkable phenomenon." "What is it?" "Can it be defined?" "(Thinks ) Mother won't look after him." "(Thinks ) Banished." "of course not!" "Therefore, clearly our precedent cannot be founded on love." "And neither can it on the accidental or the irrational." "We, therefore, of necessity... (Whispers ) Darkness." "(Barquentine ) ..must seek our precedent as one founded in reason." "(Thinks ) I can't keep giving him pills." "That damned owl will hoot again sooner or later." "(Thinks ) I must get a man!" "A man." "What else is there?" "..Reason is the all and everything." "(Thinks ) Soon Mister Flea!" "..reason is developed thus." "Point one, the child Titus before us is young lord." "Point two, young lord is heir to it all and everything." "(Think) We want our thrones." "Point three, all and everything obviously includes breakfast." "(Think) We want our thrones." "Point four, breakfast is food and finally, point five - food is produced by the peasants!" "So, simply put.." "(Thinks ) I want my daddy!" "..is set and laid in the stones as follows.." "(Groan ) Darkness." "(Barquentine ) on this day, at this time, each year, as the years roll.." "Darkness!" "(Thinks ) Daddy!" "..in honour of the heir's right to sustenance..." " Darkness!" "My books are light." " (Shouts ) the peasants will produce" "His Lordship's breakfast!" "I want my books!" "Daddy!" "I want my Daddy!" "Black owl!" "oh, me weak heart." " Hoot!" "Hoot!" " (Fuchsia ) Daddy!" " Lordship!" " Daddy!" "Get him down!" "I have a son." "Where is my son?" "Hoot!" " Daddy!" " Master Chalk!" "(Laughs )" "(Flay ) Lordship!" "Lordship!" "Mr Flay!" "Mr Flay." "Who has done this?" "Hoo!" "Hoo." "Hoo." "Hoo." "Hoo?" "Hoo." "Hoo." "(Gurgles )" "(Laughs quietly)" "(Hooting)" "(Screams )" "No, no, my lord." "Your perch is elsewhere." "Come, come, fly." "Fly home, left wing." "Anything I can do, Doctor?" "No?" "Sure?" "Anything at all?" "." "(Laughs spitefully)" "Is there any hope for him?" "Hope?" "For His Lordship?" "Hope?" "oh, that is a concept of the highest order, Ladyship." "A hopeful concept, hope." "Squallor, do we have any?" "My sister hopes for a male, Ladyship." " I beg..." " My sister..." "I heard you the first time." "Your sister, a man?" "Spends her days in the bath." "Hope springs eternal, or something, er..." "Squallor, get out." "I want reports on His Lordship every hour on the hour." " Clear?" " Yes." " As the great chime of the great..." " out!" "(Cooing, chirping, miaowing)" "Something stinks, my dears." "And it's not Squallor." "(Big thuderclap )" "Poor little Lordship!" "oh, your poor old Nannie." "We mustn't let that little wet head get cold." "Ahh." "Where's that girl..." "Where have you been, you naughty girl?" "." "You know very well it's the day for His Lordship's all over." "What are you doing?" "It's time, Nannie." "I've been waiting for you." "You can't go." "I'll tell." "Don't I have enough on my plate?" "Come here, little one." "You can't go back to them out there because they hate you." " You're having a bastard." " Maybe I won't go there." "I don't know where to go." "I wish I could take you with me." "I love you, little one." "You'll remember your tiny sister, won't you?" "It's not his sister." "Don't say that." "Sister, indeed." "Don't matter what you say, Nannie, or me." "He'll know." "(Rumble of thunder)" "Don't go." "What'll I do?" "Bye, Nannie." "Bye, my little boy." " (Whispers ) Bye." " Don't go." "(Big thunderclap )" "You can't... oh, oh, my weak heart. oh." "Hoot." "Tonight,...my precious." "Tonight,..." "Mister Flea." "(Sniggers slyly)" "(Caws )" "(Caws more insistently)" "What is it, Master Chalk?" "(Thunder)" "For you, my little red and wet pretty one." "Then, I shall wipe you dry with silk." "Mister Flay?" "Aargh!" "Huh?" "Kitchen scum." "(Growls)" "Hoot." " Come here!" " Lordship, Lordship." "Aaargh!" "(owl hoots )" "Ha!" "(owl hoots again )" "They will take me in." " Hoot." "Hoot." " Lordship?" "(Hoots with owl)" "(Growls)" "Aaargh!" "(Yells)" "Good night, Mr Flea." "Kitchen slug, at your service." "Delicious." "(Groans ) Scum." "Always!" "Good night, manservant Flea." "Wait, wait, my precious, you shall be clean and silvery before you eat." "(Kisses knife )" "And now for dinner." "(Yells)" "(Screams )" "(Growls and snorts )" "(Cackles )" "Now, my pretty one." "We have him!" "Aaaargh!" "Aaaargh!" "(Crunch)" "(Yells)" "(Snorts )" "Death!" "Servant!" "Now!" "(Groan hoots )" "(Creaking, Swelter yells)" "(Sighs )" "There is much to be done, Flay." "They will enjoy him." "Lordship?" "(Chirping and cooing)" "Heave, Mr Flay." "Heave!" "(Panting and gasping)" "This is my hour, you see." "Heave, Mr Flay." "Heave." "(Both puff and pant)" "This is my time." "Lord?" "Go now." "Goodbye, my dear Mister Flay." "oh, no, Lordship, no!" "No!" "(Screeching)" "Gormen...ghast." "(Hooting)" "(Keys jangle )" "Goodbye, Mr Flay." "(Bells)" " Anything?" " No, Sir." "Let's be having you." "Right, you!" "Third stairs, take the dog." "Is the East Wing completed?" "That wing has 638 rooms on the first floor, 503 on the second, and 700 on the third." "Captain Rottcodd..." "Not counting auxiliary buildings, extensions, follies, ante-rooms, closets, attics, basements, unfloored passages, unknown regions, darkness and rot!" "And have you found him?" "Not a Lord Groan in any of them, Master Sneerbite." "Steerpike." "And don't get on the wrong side of me, Rotgut, or I'll see you scrub stone on the jailhouse floor." "Look again." "His Lordship will be found." "(Barquentine ) Captain Rottcodd!" "Call off the dogs." "Come with me, Snakeshite!" "(Chuckles )" "You'll regret that." "(Snorts )" " Not found him?" " Nine days." " Not found him!" " Searched nine days!" "75 Earls in the history of time and not one has ever gone missing." "They die, abdicate, go mad, take up arms, kill each other, eat their children, mutilate themselves, split, shrink, decompose, but never, never disappear!" "An Earl is the mast!" "He is the path, the marrow in the bone." "Without him, we are hollow." "I understand the traditions and history of the castle." "And the chef?" "A chef cooks." "What's there to cook if the master is not there to eat?" " He is nothing." "The Lordship is..." " Secretary Barquentine..." "No!" "Your Ladyship, with the greatest, greatest respect," "I'm secretary to us, responsible to it all!" "Nine days!" "Nine days, no ceremony, no obeisance, no authority!" "No daily rite and passage." "No heart pumping the blood of rule." "We are disrupted." "His Lordship is gone." "Long live His Lordship." "What did you say?" " Titus?" " Exactly." " Titus is barely a year." " Long may he live." " We shall prepare the earling..." " Barquentine!" "Next Thursday." "The longest day." "It is propitious." "You may go." "An earling, Your Ladyship." "There is much to be done." "Lord Groan?" "He's gone." "History." "There is no alternative to what I say." "Then you must do it, Mr Secretary." "Now go." "(Grunts )" "(Cawing)" "open them up, you bastard!" " What's this?" " The law, sir." " What's law?" " What always has been, sir." "What always has been, good, good, good." "What else?" " It is destiny, sir." " Law is destiny and... ..obedience... ..is tradition!" "Don't forget that." "That is the all and everything." "Do you understand?" " Yes, sir." " Good!" "You're an obsequious ass!" "But there is work to be done." "Too much work." "Who is your master?" "I try to be useful here and there." "oh, don't try and rook me, Sneersight!" "I see through you, bones and brain!" "Your master is the doctor!" "Doubtless he'll be pleased." "No more here and there." "Here by me." "Do you understand?" "I'm now your master." "You may be useful." "We have an earling." "Rafts to be built." "It's all here." "Come on, come on!" "Read it." "Study." "How much will I be paid, sir?" "What?" "!" "Rat!" "Your keep and the honour of studying time itself!" "The runes of Gormenghast!" "(Chokes )" "Are you ready?" "I have never been more so, Sir." "Then start." "The earling!" "Read!" "(Barquentine grunts )" "Well, well." "You did ask me." "Earling...earling." "An earling?" " our brother's dead." " He's gone." "So why give the power to a baby?" "(Both) It's ours!" "So why should we wait?" " Mr Steerpike." " Mr Steerpike?" "We must see about him, mustn't we?" "He told us, didn't he?" "He told us to burn, didn't he?" "So we can tell them, can't we?" "of course we can." "(Both) Mmm." "oh, look at you, me lovely smallness." "No father - not that I'd call him a father - to look after you." "No fat chef to cook for you." "No Mr Flay." "Still, we can do without that string of black bone." "(Fuchsia ) No, we can't!" "I was talking to your little brother." "I don't care." "We can't do without Mr Flay." "We can't do without my father either." "I don't care how wonderful Titus is, he's just a baby." "The top - and by that, I mean the last inch - of the morning to you, my dears." "Are we enjoying this delicious breeze?" "Dr Pru!" "I'm so glad you've come." "I'm delighted to see you." "And Mrs Slagg, at peace I hope - carnally speaking?" " I ebb and I flow." " What ebbs and flows?" "Is it your heart or your nerves that is tidal?" "." "Doctor, can we talk?" "And please don't use any long words, I have some terrible worries." "My dear Ladyship, always a shoulder, or an ear, or indeed, any part of my anatomy at your disposal." "oh, Alfred, Their Ladyships." "To hell with them, breastless as wallpaper!" "My last postmortem had more life in it." "Ladyships!" "We've seen someone." "Are you referring to me, Ladyships?" "Don't be stupid." "We're talking to you, aren't we?" "There." "Ah, raft makers, preparing for the earling. only four days now." "What was that splash?" "I'm not surprised, my butterfly." "Alfred, why are you so tiresome?" "Why are you not surprised?" "Because that is exactly what it is, my peahen." "An authentic splash." "And made by our ex-dispenser, now assistant to Barquentine, if these eyes can recognise a certain naked appendage as one attached to a certain Steerpike!" "We are the only ladies present, aren't we?" "What about it?" "We'll go down to the water's edge and unbend to him." "Will it hurt?" "oh, why are you so ignorant?" "(Steerpike ) I just saw you, Lady Fuchsia." "How is your health, Miss Irma?" "Watch yourselves, ladies, you'll get wet." "(Steerpike ) Ladies, you do me too much honour." "Ladies!" "We are unbending to you, Mr Steerpike." "Because there's much you told us to do." "And so much we could say, Mr Steerpike." "Be quiet, you idiots!" "Sit down at once!" "(Sighs )" "(Peacocks call)" "(Steerpike whispers ) Now, go back to your apartments." "Any more talk of fire and it'll be the hangman for you." "Hangman!" "Do you understand?" "Now go!" "Beats me, Doctor." "You beat me to the very pap, dear boy." "Have a heart and swim away, we're tired of looking at your abdomen." "Mmm, forgive its magnetism." "Good day to you, Lady Fuchsia." "(Splash)" "You will be careful of him, my dear Young ladyship." "of course, Dr Pru." "(Screaming)" "(Both yell)" "Your throats are white and long for strangling!" "Sisters of a brother sent mad by burning!" "You shall hang, you shall hang!" "(Both scream )" "(Ghostly noises )" "(Laughs )" "( Quacking)" "(Horns )" "(Cannon )" "(Cannon )" "Are you skulks ready?" "Then, push off, idiots!" "Push off!" "So, the tiniest thing in the world is an earl, today." "Some day, they're going to come and take him away from me." "They didn't take me." "They don't take silly girls." "Well, they should." "Arghh!" "Come on, come on!" "It'll be winter before we're done." "Move!" "(Woman panting)" "Hold!" "More to the West!" "And hide your damned selves under the damned water!" "Under the damned water!" "The day has come, Young Lordship." "The castle awaits your sovereignty!" "(Screams )" "From horizon to horizon, all is yours!" "(Barquentine ) For God's sake!" "Pick it up!" "Pick it up, one of you!" "Give the little runt his stone back!" "And the ivy!" " I'll do it." " Stay where you are, Beerspurt!" "(Barquentine ) Come back here, you idiot!" "(Gurgles )" "(Screams )" "(Baby walls)" "Come back, you idiot!" "(Laughs )" "(Coos )" "(Baby cries )" "(Baby's cry echoes )" "He's behaving his damned self." "In view of all... ..I... ..warden of the immemorial rights.." "..do proclaim you... ..to be the only... ..legitimate Lord... ..between earth... ..and sky... oh, my weak heart!" "Titus... ..Groan... ..the seventy-seventh Earl... ..of Gormenghast." " (Barquentine ) Titus!" " (All) Titus!" "Titus!" "Titus!" "Titus!" "Titus!" "Titus!" "Titus!" "Titus!" "Titus!" "(Crowd continues chanting his name )" "(Baby cries )" "How nice to be born a Groan." "(Crowd chants )" "# Hold fast to the law # of the last cold tome" "# Where the earth of the truth" "# Lies thick upon the page" "# And the loam of faith" "# In the ink long fled," "# From the drone of the nip flows on" "# To the last of the first depart" "# And the least of the past is dust" "# And the dust" "# The dust is lost" "# Hold fast!" "# Gormenghast" "(Barquentine ) Poet." "Day of Ancient." "Time of the twenty-third Earl... (Chuckles ) Did he?" "The reading of the Laureate's... ten-year meditation on...art!" "Damned art." "Damned poetry." "Damned poetic ass." "He won't have finished it." "He'll change it at the last minute!" "Ass!" "Don't worry, damned asswipe, your assistant knows the ritual of the poet off by heart." "He'll do it for you, like he does everything else." "Excuse me, Lordship!" "Titus!" "Titus Groan!" "This is no racetrack, young sir!" "I can ride in the castle between eight and nine Monday morning." "That's the rules, Professor Bellgrove, sir." "Well, quite, but no permission to trample your old schoolmaster half to death, am I correct?" "Yes, I am." "You look pale, young Lordship." "Are you all right?" "Been riding over somebody's ghost, have you?" "There's no such a thing, sir!" "And punctuality, Titus." "Tardiness is next to cleanliness." "And don't be late." "They were floating about 30 yards out." "Here look." "Two hats... and a letter." "What do you make of that?" "No more fire. our lips are sealed." "our power is in water." "Clarice and Cora." "The appearance given, Mr Secretary, is that their two ladyships..." "drowned themselves." "Good riddance, if you ask me." " Do you have a goat?" " A goat, Ladyship?" "Milk." "For the cats." "Ha!" "I see what you mean!" "A goat?" "Have I got a goat?" "Ah, that's better." "Bring my goat." "Your goat?" "The goat, man." "Bring it." "We haven't got a goat." "I require service not sophistry." "Get my goat!" "I'm amazed, Ladyship." "Where are the traditions of service?" " How old are you?" " Thirty-eight, madam." "Sit down." "Ladyship." "How long since we've seen each other?" "Er, five years, Madam." "I've been thinking, since the burning of the library and the disappearance of my husband, things have been wrong." "For years, something uneasy." "Do you feel it, Squallor?" "And now Clarice and Cora." "Bodies not found, not buried." "Their note mentioned a burning, Ladyship." "Perhaps it was they who..." "Burned the Library?" "A Groan burn a Groan?" "Never!" "Made me think of it all again." "There is something among us." "There is stench." "I can smell it." "Do you mean... rebellion, Ladyship?" "Rebellion?" "Who would dare rebel against Gormenghast?" "Forgive me, madam." "I want you to watch for me, do you hear?" "If there is such a rebellion, we shall find it." " Do you understand me, Squallor?" " I have no doubt, Ladyship." "(Bleats )" "I found one, Doctor." "Wrong sex, you idiot!" "You bring the female goat, you fool." "Female goat." "Take it away." "Yah!" "I have faith in you, Squallor, I don't know why." "I'm honoured, madam." "Mark my words." "If this thing exists, it shall be crushed." "Steerpike!" "Steerpike, you're a pest!" "Never where I need you." "Yes, sir." "And don't call me sir, if you don't mean it, you obsequious rat!" "A double suicide and no bodies." "No bodies, no funeral." " Where are we then?" "!" " Burying their hats, sir." "I'll wipe that grin off your clock, damn slug!" "ouh!" "Get me corpses!" "And quick!" "As a matter of fact, I don't think I will, Mr Secretary Barquentine, asswipe and shit-licker...sir." "(Children's laughter)" "(Snores )" "Eh!" "Doggit!" "Is that really you behind that mask of grime and ink?" "And if it is, are you carving your name in your desk when you thought your master was asleep?" "Yes, sir." "Having a go at the whole thing, were you, Doggit?" "only done the first three letters, sir." "Well, leave the second G until later, boy." " The second G, sir?" " Yes, there are two Gs in..." "Dammit, don't you know how to spell your name?" "!" "(Bell rings and children cheer)" "Come on. off you go." "Shoo!" "It's break, young Lordship." "Milk and a biscuit?" "Stop playing with your teeth, Bellgrove, it's damn rude!" "I'm in pain, Mr Perch, and what have my teeth got to do with you?" "You're a hoarder, you damn pedant!" "Get them extracted!" "(All laugh) oh, poor old fangs!" "Fangs!" "Is that how you consider me, Fluke?" "Canine!" "I'll remind you that fifteen short years ago," "I was considered for headmaster!" "Yes, Fluke, headmaster!" " Aaah!" " Pain doesn't exist, dear boy." "It is merely an expression of inner disturbance." "The fact that you imagine it in your teeth is interesting." "Have you said something you regret, lately?" " Aaagh!" " Pain doesn't exist, dear boy." "Perhaps we've put our foot in it lately, have we?" "Death!" "I can hear it squeak." "Here it comes!" "(Squeaking)" "Make way for Death!" "Make way for Death!" "De'ath, man!" "De'ath!" "He has a name." "Show some respect!" "It's the Headmaster!" "Get out of it!" "He's got something to say." "A notice for you all." "Uuh?" "oh, who are all these peo...ple?" "It's your staff, Headmaster." "Shall I, shall I get Bellgrove to read the edict?" "Why...not?" "oh, what an honour, Headmaster." "Thank you." "An edict." "Read it!" "Hurry up!" "It's from Barquentine." "Get your teeth into it, Bellgrove!" "Yes, can he understand seven words in a row?" "Silence!" "Professor Bellgrove." "Reference, Lord Titus, 77th Earl." "I, being Secretary Barquentine, give notice to remind you that no privileges of cast, class or title shall be afforded the aforesaid lord, according to the iron-clad precedents of Gormenghast." "He shall be of the ordinary, no more, no less, until his time of reason and puberty." "Take note - you exist to teach, not fawn." "Fawn?" "Barquentine, you bastard bugger!" "Headmaster De'ath," "I would have you impress upon your staff the magnitude of their office, and in particular those who confuse their calling with indolence." "Signed as for Barquentine." "Steerpike." "Steerpike?" "It's you, Bellgrove." "The whole damn thing's aimed at you!" "How dare you!" "Ah, but you teach His Lordship, don't you?" "Who did you say all these people were?" "Nothing you need be concerned with, Headmaster." "out!" "out!" "Death's out!" "Steerpike, you bastard bugger!" "(Coughing)" "It's worse!" "Three hundred dead and rising." "And what a way to die!" "The fever!" "The boils!" "The blood!" "Most beg for the mercy of death." "What about Gertrude?" "She is quarantined like you." "Are you saying she's not even dead yet?" "Not even ill?" "." "I have heard Lady Fuchsia's looking feverish, so there's hope yet." "Surely the time for you to emerge and claim your rightful power cannot be far away?" "We want some servants." "If I knew they weren't infected, I'd bring you a hundred, but what would be more tragic?" "To be struck down at the very moment you were to mount your thrones?" "Are they ready?" " We want to see them." " Ladyships!" "I'm trying to keep the plague from your door!" "How dare you make these demands on me!" "How dare you!" "I won't tolerate it!" "Get under the carpet!" "Get under the carpet now!" "Get under it!" "or you'll get nothing!" "No servants!" "No crowns!" "No thrones!" "Nothing!" "Get under the carpet!" "Thank you." "Now I shall continue to protect you... and return with provisions by and by." "(Clarice ) We could, couldn't we?" "(Cora ) We could do it together." "(Clarice ) Next time he comes." "(Cora ) We could, couldn't we?" "(Together) We could kill him." "(Barquentine ) The ninth day of the month." "The ninth, Mr Secretary..." "That's what I said." "The egg should be blue, not red." "The ninth, you dolt!" "Didn't I say the ninth?" "The egg should be blue not red!" "In addition to your daily scholastic duties, Lordship." "Eleven o'clock, release of the five hawks from the north-east turret." "1:15, the Groaning of the Dungeon with your sister, Lady Fuchsia." "Four o'clock, Blessing of the Meat Racks." "Five o'clock, the Ceremony of the Laureate, the Reading of the Ten-year Meditation on Art - most important, Lordship." "(Bellgrove snoring)" "(Clock ticks )" "(Bell rings and boys cheer)" "Lesson..." "lesson over." "Lordship, is that you?" "..the rigours of ancient learning..." " Where's the boy?" " Boy, sir?" "What boy?" "Don't "what boy" me!" "There was a boy in this corridor!" "With respect, Mr Secretary, you are here confronted with the greatest group of experts on boys." "We know what a boy looks like..." " What he had for dinner!" " If I may..." "Where's the sodding boy!" "Bugger the bastard!" "I apologise for the tone of my colleague, Mr Secretary..." "But not necessarily his intention." " (Laughter)" " Poor old Fang!" "You have protected a boy with insolence!" "If I may say, sir, it was not I who..." "Let me just say, Bellgrove, that this afternoon... is the Ceremony of the Laureate." "If every boy, and I mean EVERY boy is not there assembled," "I will personally twist your malodorous intestines around your brainless skull!" "Stand aside!" "Titus?" "Titus?" "I know where you went, boy." "Come on." "Titus?" "Titus?" "Titus?" "Titus, come back!" "Lordship, please!" "It's the ceremony - have you forgotten?" "Titus!" "oh, me an expert on boys?" "You're a silly old fool, Professor Bellgrove!" "The Hall of Bright Carvings." "I must be near to the castle wall!" "Ahh." "out!" "I'm out of it!" "All boys ready for the Day of the Laureate, Headmaster." "Barquentine wants them counted." "Is he asleep?" "Famous for somnolent awareness, sir." "(Slagg) once a kitchen slug, always a kitchen slug." "ALL boys, Headmaster!" "Every single one of them!" "(Slagg) Drainage!" "Ha ha ha!" "(Snoring)" "All clear!" "(All) Yes!" "All clear!" "(All) Yes!" "All clear!" "Look out!" "It's the headmaster!" "Look out!" "Death is coming!" "Head count!" "Secretary Barquentine has ordered a head count!" "All boys to be counted!" "The headmaster!" "Ahh!" "Headmaster!" "oh, my goodness!" "Uh?" "What?" "What?" "What happened?" "What?" "Asleep?" "Are you accusing me of dereliction of duty?" "I'll have you retract those words!" "I was cogitating a particularly deep problem on the nature of... ambition, as it happens." "Besides what were you all doing in my inner sanctum?" "En masse, may I add." "It's the young Earl, sir." "He's gone missing." "Supposed to be in your class, wasn't he?" "My class?" "You mean he wasn't?" "oh, bless my soul." "What do you suggest we do?" "I?" "Suggest?" "B-b-b...w-why should it be I who does the suggesting?" "Stupid bugger." "Doesn't get it, does he?" "Headmaster, what are we going to do?" "Headmaster?" "The previous, if he could be said to have existed at all, now, without any doubt, doesn't." "And as the most senior member of staff, Bellgrove, whatever your qualifications, the burden now falls on you." "Me?" "Head...head...headmaster?" "I..." "What do you mean, whatever my qualifications?" "Upstart!" "Sluggard!" "And you can stop that, Fluke!" "Your wheezing sets my teeth on edge." "Yes, things are going to change around here, you know." "A new order has begun and the first thing you will all do, is LISTEN to your new headmaster!" "out with it, then." " out with what, Mule?" " The Earl, tosspot!" "The Earl?" "." "He's gone missing!" "What do we do?" "Calm!" "We stay calm, gentlemen." "Your headmaster is here." "Authority at last..." "Search!" "Search for him!" "That's what we do." "Search parties!" "Never fear, gentlemen, the Earl shall be found, and I, Bellgrove, shall find him!" "Titus, she will be your little sister." "And you'll love her." "No, wait!" "Come back!" "Wait!" "I know you!" "I won't hurt you!" "Wait!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Grrr!" "Well, where is he?" "Mr Secretary, I have risen in my profession, and as headmaster" "I'd be grateful if you did not address me in such tones." "Shut-up, you useless, elongated fart!" "I'm damned if I'll see traditions of a thousand years RUINED... by some damn, little..." " Little WHAT?" " Earl, madam, little Earl." "Where is he?" "No sign, Mr Secretary, I'm afraid." "We'll do it without him!" "Pick a boy - any boy!" "Put the ribbon in his hair, stand him there, and when I say tell him to give the Laureate his idiot poem." "Well, don't sit there like some turd-struck grub!" "Do IT!" "Doggit!" " Who, sir?" "Me, sir?" " Yes, come on." "Hold this." "Stand still, come on." "Find him, piddlebrain." "Earl or no Earl, I'll teach him to flout the traditions of this place!" "There we are." "Now, look lively, over there." "Go, go, go." "Take it up." "Don't show off, Doggit!" "Come on, you ass of a child - up the steps, boy!" "oh, no!" "No!" "My odes!" "My work!" "Ten years!" "Ten years of crap, no doubt!" "Leave it!" "Leave it!" "Damn His Lordship!" "Damn him!" "Damn!" "Damn!" "Where is he?" "Where - in - hell - is he?" "I'm lost." "Where are you?" "Who are you?" "Flay." "I've heard of you, Mr Flay." "You were my father's servant." "Where is this?" "It's my home, Lordship." "Are you ill?" "." "Not ill, boy..." "Banished." "Banished?" "Why?" "Knew you right away, Lordship." "The eyes." "Eat, rabbit?" "I snare, see?" "New life." "Look after Flay." "That's it." "Duty gone." "I'm very sorry, Mr Flay." "Mr Flay, I saw something in a forest of stone trees." " She was on a branch." " She?" "Small thing?" "Fast?" " She moved like lightning, Mr Flay." " Don't go near her!" "Why, Mr Flay?" "She seemed to me very free and easy." "Leave her!" "Free!" "Duty, Lordship." "Ancient duty." "All there is." " Your father said." " I never saw my father." "You did, boy." "You saw him." "What was he like?" "Earl of Gormenghast." "Did he love me?" "Why would he say leave the girl alone?" "Not girl!" "Wild thing!" "Comes from Carvers." "Steals from own." "Not of the stones." "Bad, Lordship, bad." "Sleep." "Take you back." "Eat." "I like you very much, Mr Flay." "This whelp has searched." "No sign, Your Ladyship." "Then search again!" "And this time you'll succeed, Barquentine, or I'll have your head on a spike!" "Yes, Madam." "He turned up in my room ten minutes ago." "Mr Flay brought me back." "Why was he banished, Mother?" "I know no Flay." " Mother..." " I know no Flay!" "What do you do with him, Mr Secretary?" "What can be done?" "He's gone." "A faithful servant." "We don't have many." "The boy!" "What do you do with His Lordship?" "He ran." "What's his punishment?" "In you go, young sir." "You brought it on your own head, remember." "Use the time to think." "Banished." "(Fuchsia ) Six for searching, seven for heaven, eight for aching." "Ahh!" "Nine for nothing, ten for less..." "Lady Fuchsia, may I join you?" "What do you want?" "Just to walk with you." "If it would please you." "Nothing else." "The wood is free." "I can't stop you, can I?" "You can walk behind me, if you like." "Nothing is free, Lady Fuchsia." "You said the wood is free." "I don't believe anything is free, except dreams." "What do you know of dreams?" "We all dream." "I dream of equality, as a matter of fact." "I believe there should be no poor, no rich, no strong or weak." "Equality is everything,... don't you think, Lady Fuchsia?" "I wouldn't know anything about it." "Don't you think it's wrong... if some people starve and other people have so much they waste it?" "Don't you think the brave and the skilful should be rewarded?" "Don't you think talent is as important as wealth?" "It's raining." "Don't you think cruelty and greed should be stopped for good?" "I'm getting wet." "No!" "I'm getting soaked!" "No, Lady Fuchsia!" "Not that way!" "Aaah!" "Lady Fuchsia!" "Lady Fuchsia!" "Where does it hurt?" "I'm all right." "Don't be a hero." "I know you're brave." "I want to know exactly where it hurts." "It's my leg" " I'm cold." "Gently, gently." "Come on." "Come on." "Head wound, doctor." "Leg might be broken!" "Show me, quickly." "Fetch men and a stretcher." "I'll get my bag." "Stay still!" "Don't move." "Perfect." "You are magnificent." "Why, thank you, madam." "At your service." "At my service... oh..." "Do try not to jolt her!" "Steady!" "Steady there!" "This is no ordinary cargo!" "(Slagg) oh, my precious!" "My precious!" "Not you, kitchen boy!" "Life is amusing, ISN'T IT?" "Not a bone in the least broken." "Anatomically quite sound, Your Ladyship." "Where's Steerpike?" "You don't want to see that horrid thing, do you?" "No." "Not at all." "I hate them!" "I hate them!" "Who, my agitato sister?" "oh, why do you never listen to me?" "Flesh of my flesh... to cut me would be to carve at the very marrow of yourself!" "Wouldn't an envelope be more appropriate?" "Why should I be punished like this?" "Am I without charm?" "or grace?" "or intellect?" "A bulging bag of all three, my talented Tyro." "Then why aren't any advances made to me?" "Are you speaking financially?" "No, Alfred, I am not, and well you know it!" "I mean what's wrong with your sex?" "Can't they see my neck, my hair?" "I move well, don't I?" "Can't they see my carriage?" "You are too powerful, sweet white of egg, that is the unpalatable truth." "I'm sorry to say, but that carriage, as you put it, super-charged as it is, terrifies them, my spasmic one." "I hate them!" "Men!" "Blind, stupid, clumsy, horrible, vulgar things!" "And you are one of them!" "Aaah!" " Irma, dear!" " I'm going to have a party!" "Bodily functions are nothing to be ashamed of." "A party, Alfred." "I..." "Irma Prunesquallor, this very Irma, oh, can we have one, Alfred?" "Are you the type to give a party?" "Indeed, are you... the type to go to one?" "But I see you are determined." "May I have the knife?" "You're going to be the host." "Have I told you, I'm thinking of marriage?" " To one of those you hate?" " Alfred!" "We'll find just the man, my avenging angel!" "Who to invite?" "What to wear?" "That's simple." "Evening dress." "Such things can be cruel, my fashionato." "Few ladies have such resplendent gowns." "Who cares?" "There won't be any women." "No ladies?" "I must be alone, Alfred." "With them." "The male." "I see, and who might they be, these rams, these tomcats, these bulls, oh, thicker than water?" " A gathering of 40." " 40 men." "It's my last chance, Alfred!" "Listen to me, Irma, dear, listen to an affectionate brother." "In a smaller party you'll find more time to size up those present." " 30?" " A dozen?" "20, Alfred, don't argue!" "I'm merely trying to put myself in your place, dear!" "Takes effort!" "I can't do it." "Any idea who this gallant score is?" "oh, the professors!" "oh, why didn't I think of it before?" "And it shall be called...a soiree." "Rams, soirees, professors." "Are not those terms mutually exclusive?" "I shall issue invitations in blue and gold." "We shall soiree in ten days, Alfred." " oh, Lord." " In ten days time... a man of learning will be mine to keep!" "I shall understand him, administer to him and keep him clean!" "Irma, my dear, do you not think...?" "No, Alfred, I don't think!" "Thought is for mortals!" "I am a woman!" "An invitation..." "from Miss Prunesquallor." "She has invited us." "(Fluke ) Ha ha ha!" "Shut up, Fluke." "This is a damn crisis!" "Nothing less." "Crisis!" "Stupid bastard!" "How long is it since you've seen a woman?" "And how long is it since you have or have not, Professor Mule?" "She wants a husband." "Long-necked Irma wants a husband." "No, no, gentlemen, please!" "Please!" "I will not have a ladies name... oh, bloody bugger!" "It's him!" "She wants him!" "oh, no... oh, yes!" "Gentlemen, please!" "Stop it at once!" "Nonsense!" "I..." "I..." "It's no way to talk of a lady or a headmaster!" "Him!" "The very him!" "The very Head!" " No, no, no, stop!" " It's you, Bellgrove." " Me?" " I think it is you, Bellgrove." "No, no. oh, shush!" "Nonsense!" "No, she doesn't want ME!" "No." "Does she?" "oh, perfect." "only three days to go, Alfred!" "Tempus fugit, my seismic one, tempus fugit..." "Titus?" " Titus?" " Fuchsia?" "Here." "I brought you some sweets." " I miss you, Titus." " And I miss you." "Dr Pru's having some horrid party." " A party?" " All your professors are going." "Yuck!" "I hate them." "Mother, Barquentine, I hate all of them!" "I hate them for locking you up and for ignoring me!" "Titus I spat out of my window today!" "I spat on the stones!" "I hate them all that much!" "Titus, can you hear me?" "Yes." "And I spit on the stones too!" "Can you feel my fingers?" "Titus, you're my brother and I love you." "You're my sister and I love you." "(Door opening)" "Bye, Titus." "Remember what we said." "Fuchsia?" "!" "Fuchsia!" "I hate them too!" "(Titus ) All of them!" "All of them!" "Well..." "Tonight's the night." "Will I or won't I?" "Irma Prunesquallor." "Statement made in the staff room, she's passionate about me." "Consider." "one, it's poppycock." "Two, my damned staff are damned interferers!" "Call themselves teachers!" "They lie to add zest to the party." "Three, I haven't questioned their lie, so they don't know I've seen through it!" "Four, so far so good." "Five, how do I turn the tables against these spoilers... of all that is young, wonderful and, let's face it, lamb-like?" "Six, what's wrong with Irma Prunesquallor anyway?" "Noses must be some shape or other or, as that idiot Shred would say, they wouldn't exist at all." "Seven...no bosoms to speak of, true, but then what are bosoms weighed against, um...quite..." "Eight..." "I'm lonely." "oh, Bellgrove, such scouring, not to say moving, honesty." "Nine, what a catch I am for any woman!" "Ten... oh, God, please make her mine." "(Sniffs )" "(Irma sings )" "Mollocks!" "Mollocks!" "Beside you, madam." "Why don't you make a sound?" "You see I wear no spectacles." "Don't go, Mollocks." "Dust, dust and dust again." "Sister, if you ain't a work of art, I don't know what is!" "Alfred, how do I seem to you?" "I'm over here, my dear." "Turn around, turn around." "oh, to think the same blood batters our veins." "What?" "I thought you were praising me!" "I was!" "But tell me what it is that somehow looks different?" "You've gained a bosom!" "You said busts are what you make them." "My dear?" "I've made one from a hot water bottle, very expensive." "Don't you think it gives me pride of bearing?" "Just tell me, exactly." "(Mollocks snorting)" "Mollocks!" "Go and talk to cook." "(Mollocks snorting)" "Dear sister..." "No, Alfred, I won't listen!" "Wait!" "There's something else." "Wait!" "Well, Alfred?" "What flair you have, Irma." "Don't spare me." "My only thought, my Arabic one, is that having so precisely positioned such protuberances, is it not spitting in the face of the divine to conceal them?" "You're going to ruin it." "I knew you were!" "The vivacity of the visage, sweet nicotine, and the twin peaks of paradise are, shall we say, hidden beneath net." "Paradise?" "Hidden?" "oh, never!" "(Water splashing)" "It is I, Irma!" "oh, let them come!" "My men from the mountains!" "Come along, gentlemen." "Shoe laces, Mule!" "Shoe laces." "Step lively, like lambs to the slaughter!" "Don't dawdle, Mule!" "Come on!" "Stop the bickering." "The bickering isn't necessary." "This way." "Follow me." "Gentlemen." "Poor old Nannie." "You're the easiest, so you can go first." "All in the cause of science, you understand?" "Good night, Nannie." "Sleep tight." "Professor Mule!" "Professor Mule!" "Chop, chop." "Professor Mule!" "Evening!" "Bastard!" "Bugger!" "Pardon us?" "Yes, Professor, female of the species." "Strange but true!" "Care for a canap?" "Now." "The last of them." "Just a minute." "Professor Bellgrove!" "Headmaster!" "Arse." "Eve!" "Head." "Madame." "Master." "(Mule ) Bugger!" "ouh!" "Bugger!" "No way to behave in front of a woman!" "Aah!" "Bloody bugger bastard!" "(Prunesquallor) Gentlemen!" "Pass that armchair!" "Help me get him into it." "one, two, heave!" "(Prunesquallor) one more effort, gentlemen!" "Right, stand back, give him air." "Madam." "He is before you as a sign of weakness." "We are all mere men." "Is this not how we all feel?" "." "Perch, Fluke, Throttlebum!" "convey the professor to his quarters to recover." "No, Headmaster!" "I understand utterly." "He has honoured me!" "Alfred!" "Do something." "He shall not be removed from this room." "It's a full-blown spasm, dearest!" "Spasm or no spasm!" "He shall remain!" "Mollocks!" "Fetch my silver hammer." "oh, and scissors." "We'll need to snip his clothes off." "This is not for you!" "It is for you to speak and me to listen." "Take my arm, such as it is." "oh!" "I shall accompany you, Professor." "Excellent!" " Er, where?" " The garden?" "The garden!" "It shall be our first promenade together." "But I hardly know you, Headmaster." "(Doctor) Let's see." "Ahem." "Lilac!" "Can you not smell the lilac, my dear madam?" "I have a cold." "Ah, yes, women are such sensitive creatures." "And require light, Headmaster." "A light?" "Certainly." "I'm afraid you..." "you cannot see me here." "I would have you sit on my right." "Ah, well, um, what you would have, you shall be given!" "Shall we rise?" "(Fabric tearing) oh, blast!" "How could you use such a word in front of me?" "Silence!" "Am I not your headmaster!" "oh!" "oh!" "I..." "Do forgive me!" "I, er..." "(Prunesquallor) Turn him over." "(Mollocks ) over." "I am so happy!" "I knew it." "So did I." "My dear, you are cold." "It's this damnable arbor!" "I will not have you use strong language in our sacred place." "Well, you..." "you must forgive an old fool, but I was just trying to damn this dark... which prevents me from seeing the proud beauty of your face." "Ah!" "Yes?" "oh, Head... oh, Irma..." "Hoh!" "Aah!" "Ahh!" "My man..." " Aaah!" " Wahhh!" "(Gasping) oh!" "Nannie?" "Nannie!" "oh, my weak heart..." "Nannie?" "Nannie..." "Help!" "Someone help!" "Nannie!" "What's wrong?" " Let me see." " No." "Not you." "You get the doctor." "Yes, Ladyship!" "At once!" "Nannie?" "Nannie?" "(Gasping)" "Something...wrong." "All...wrong." "Nannie!" "(Sobbing)" "See it as a gift from the kitchen boy, Nannie." "Have her buried in the Graveyard for Select Retainers, Squallor." "I don't feel anything, Mother." "Am I wicked?" "She was a good servant." "You'll miss her." " See to it, Squallor." " Ladyship." "You are not wicked, my dear." "When are they going to let Titus out of the fort?" "It's not fair, he's just a little boy." "He'll be out like a jack-in-the-box in no time." "He must." "And I want to see my daddy." "Shh, my dear." "Where did he go, Dr Pru?" "He was a very sick man." "Who knows what happened?" "Mr Flay is still alive." "Mr Flay?" "Titus has seen him!" "And he also saw something else - a wild thing." "A wild girl, and now he says he's in love with her." "And now, Nannie!" "I'm sorry, Nannie!" "I can't stand it." "Ladyship." "Now learn, Lordship." "Learn the code, learn the canon." "Learn who you are." "Learn Gormenghast!" "It's my family, Mr Secretary, and I'll learn what I'll learn in my own time." "Starve then." "It's him." "I hate him, don't you?" "This way." "Titus, I'm frightened." "I know what I'm doing." "I want to show you something." "This way." "(Titus ) It's her!" "The wild girl!" "She was there!" "I saw her!" "She can get in and out whenever she wants!" "I didn't come all this way to see her!" "Come down!" "You said we were going to see Mr Flay to find out about Father!" "This stupid wild girl!" "Why are you so interested in her?" "You can't be like her, and what would Mother say?" "I don't care what SHE says!" "She never talks to me anyway." "She's got her stupid birds." "Now I've got something better and that's what they don't like." "They think they know everything." "And now I know something they don't." "And I'll tell you, Fuchsia, I want to be just like her." "(Gertrude ) Gone again?" "!" "He's in your charge!" "I'm not his keeper." "Barquentine, find the boy." "And his sister, though you needn't waste too much time on that." "Go away!" "I'll have you pinned to the rock with your eyes out." "Lordships come and Lordships go, Ladyship." "Gormenghast stays put!" "This wild thing?" "You think that's what all this is about?" "It would appear to be, madam." "It's the brat from his foster mother." "I would hypothesise that quite possibly, given the history..." "Why not use one word when one will do, Squallor?" "Yes." "This thing is stealing from the Carvers?" "They say she steals only the most beautiful, Ladyship." "What's that got to do with it?" "The Carvers loathe her." "He is the heir, Squallor." "Yes." "That infested rag Barquentine is right, Gormenghast is all." "Uh..." "I don't know what's worse, you clammed up or in full flow." "Go away, I prefer my birds." "Madam." "The owls?" "They killed my father?" "In the Tower of Flints?" "What he wanted, Ladyship." "Cook, slug Swelter, he went too." "Same time." "Earl, noble man." "Why didn't anybody tell me?" "only I knew, Ladyship." "Lordship now." "Look to duty." "Come back with us." "Can't." "I'll show you how." "Live in the East Wing." "No one would find you there." "Banished." "That's it." "Look out for Steerpike." "Why?" "Why always Steerpike?" "It's not fair!" "People don't like him just because he's more brilliant than them." "At least he talks to me." "At least he's better than this wild THING!" "Please, come back with us, Mr Flay." "Be ready, Lordship." "Know tunnel." "Will watch." "Come when you need me." "Fuchsia!" "Fuchsia!" "Now you'll learn!" "Because you'll stay there till you do!" "I'm so sorry, Nannie." "I don't know what to do." "No one loves me!" "What shall I do?" "I can't dream forever." "Lady Fuchsia." "I had no idea you'd be here." "I didn't know her well, but I thought..." "I'm sure your flowers will please her most." "It's all stupid anyway!" "And I didn't think you were so sentimental." "I have my moods too." "How dare you?" "!" "You please yourself, why can't I?" "You...!" "You!" " I understand." " No, you don't." "If I understand anything I understand anger!" "And that's because I understand what it feels like to be rejected." "Don't think I don't understand loneliness too." "I'm sorry!" "(Sobs )" "No, no, this is horrible!" "You're horrible!" "You leave me alone!" "Never come near me!" "I can wait." "Stones." "Stones." "Stone." "Rock." "I hate... it...all." "# Hold fast to the law # of the last cold tome" "# Where the earth of the truth" "# Lies thick upon the page" "# And the loam of faith" "# In the ink long fled" "# From the drone of the nib flows on" "# Till the last of the first depart" "# And the least of the past is dust" "# And the dust" "# The dust is lost" "# Hold fast!" "# Gormenghast" "Yah!" "Yah!" "Come closer." "What's the matter with you, boy?" "Closer." "I want to talk to you." " You never have before." " Well, I do now." "You're seventeen, Titus." "How are you, my friend?" "It's time you grew out of this." "Are you talking to me or the bird?" "You!" "That's yours." "It's yours by inheritance and right." "You can't give it away." "It's yours forever, whether you want it or not." " Thank you, Mother." " What more do you want, boy?" "There isn't anything else I can give you and if there was, I wouldn't." "I've understood that much." " Ahh!" " Grow up, boy!" "You are no ordinary son and you have no ordinary mother." "Look." "Turn!" "Look!" "Look at it!" "And learn to love it for what it is." "You can't love anyone or anything else." "Because there isn't anything else." "There is only your duty to those who love you." "Think, Titus...and grow." "Soon, perhaps, we will all need you." "Master Chalk!" "Mr Flay." "Come back." "Nearly time, Lordship." "Time?" "For what?" "Won't wait much longer." "Who won't?" "Been coming in." "Watching." "Watching Steerpike, you mean?" "All of you, Lordship." "Him most." "Rebellion soon." "East Wing." "You - need - me - make - chalk - mark - under - lamp - old - hall." "Mr Flay, wait." "I hate Gormenghast." "oh, no, Lordship." "No, no." "Can't be." "Can't be." "But I do, Mr Flay." "I do." "(Coughing)" "Wake up, you bastards!" "I want my breakfast!" "Three minutes!" "Confound you, Peeledswitch!" "how do you know when I'm going to appear?" "Perhaps we're in harmony, sir." "I'm more in harmony with a dribble of piss!" "And I've told you before, don't "sir" me in that obsequious way." "Why are you so damned clean?" "Perhaps it's this habit of washing, sir." "Well, dull yourself down!" "Get the shine off!" "Quite right, sir, I am too visible." "Not when you're wanted, whelp!" "I see through you!" "Even when I'm invisible?" "Are the north cloisters ready?" "You're too dirty." "You're going to have to die." "What's that, scum?" "!" "They were dirty and I asked why." "But they're ready for you now, sir." "I might be more difficult to get rid of than you think, kitchen boy!" "How long have you plotted?" "Hey?" "(Chuckles )" "You'll never rise further than the scum on your sink, wash or no wash!" "You stretch my patience, grub." "I'll send you back to the filth you came from, do you understand?" "My son will replace me, not you!" " You have a son?" " Didn't know about him, did you?" "Nobody does." "Not yet!" "I'm warning you, you be very, very careful, Mr Steerpike." "You do exactly what I say, no more, no less, or I'll skewer you, sewer slug!" "This has gone on long enough." "He'll have the keys off me before I can turn round." "Yes, you have, Mr Secretary Barquentine." "You've gone on far too long." "Dear son... (Barquentine ) I'll stop this before the scum gets to the inner sanctum." "(Knock at the door)" "Go away!" "Did I ask for a son of a bitch to visit me now?" "It's your hot milk, Mr Secretary." "I said, go away!" "Milk!" "We've got better things to do than to drink milk!" "This'll take the shine off you, Mr Snakebite." "Good evening, Mr Secretary." "(Skewering) Ahh!" "ohh!" "Ahh..." "It's Mr Snakebite." ""Dear son..."" "Son?" "That's me, isn't it?" "Scum like you?" "A son of mine?" "Never!" ""Dear son, I believe it's time we were re-acquainted." ""I have it in mind..."" "What had you in mind, Mr Secretary?" "That he should succeed you?" "It's interesting that you realised a successor was necessary, isn't it?" "But it won't be any son of yours." "Guess who it'll be?" "Piss-lump!" "Kitchen boy!" "Traitor!" "It'll take more than an insect like you to shake Gormenghast!" "You haven't got long, you know?" "Long enough!" "Help!" "Help me!" "Excuse me, Mr Secretary." "Help!" "Help me!" "No one there." "Aaaggh!" "In case you were thinking of throwing something else." "Snakeshite!" "Poisonous slag!" "Shh." "(Roars angrily)" "Poor boy, he'll never know now, will he?" "Goodbye, Mr Secretary." "Thanks for all your help." "(Steerpike ) Warm today, isn't it?" "!" "You're coming with me!" "You poisonous...!" "Aaaah!" "Grrragghh!" "(Gertrude ) The boy, Sneerbite." "How bad is he?" "(Prunesquallor) As a toast, Ladyship." "Face and hands, could hardly speak..." "I don't see how it could have been self-inflicted." "What?" "Why should it have been?" "What are you saying." "I?" "oh, nothing, madam." "I really have no idea why I said it." "Though Steerpike is the hero." "He tried to save the Secretary, who had caught himself alight with the candle...flame." "He told me so himself, before he passed out." "We will need a new Secretary, Doctor." "Who else but the hero, ma'am." "He's the only one who knows how to." " When can he start?" " In a matter of weeks, Ladyship." "Able, but I wouldn't say pretty." "Stupid!" "So stupid!" "And the twins make five!" "oh, do they indeed, Mr Secretary?" "And what, pray, or who..." "was quite so stupid?" "Hmm?" "(Birds singing)" "(Bellgrove ) Planning any work, young Lordship, or are you going to eat the entire pencil?" "." " Work, work, sir." " Good." "You know..." "When I was your age, my dear fellow, my very last term, my schooldays almost over,..." "I was suddenly taken with the remarkable idea... of concentrating on the paper that my old schoolmaster had set me." "I had of course heard of the concept of work, but as you'll understand," "I'd never actually thought of applying it to myself." "Yet on that remarkable day, that's exactly what I did." "Listen to me, dear fellow." "I found that the paper set me was actually quite simple." "So simple that I was almost insulted by it." "Do you know what I did?" "I asked for more." "And then more." "I became so fascinated by my own cleverness, that I did far too much and made myself ill." "So take heed, Titus." "Look after your health and slow down." "But if you don't hand that essay in by four o'clock," "I shall be forced to keep you behind." "A contradiction, I hear you say." "Such contradictions, you will discover, Titus, are the stuff of life." "So, get on with it, hmm?" "Are you considering what I said, Titus, or looking at a paper handed to you?" " It's nothing, sir." " Well, show me this...nothing." " I'd rather not, sir." " I'd rather you did, sir." "No." " Lordship." " Sorry, sir." "I'm ashamed of you, Titus Groan." "Stand up." "You're going to have to be punished." "(Tutting)" " oh, shut up..." " I beg your pardon, Lordship?" "It was nothing to do with you." "Titus, you will apologise to the Secretary." "I will not." "Titus, I said you will apologise." "And I said I will not." "Headmaster, the next time I inspect your class..." "I expect to find more discipline." "And respect!" "Er, yes, sir." "of course, sir." " Titus." " Sorry, sir." "I know you don't like me, Lordship." "But if I may say such a thing," "I would prefer our relationship to be on a friendly basis." "I understand that may not be possible, but with all due respect, I must tell you, if you insult me you insult Gormenghast." "Is there anything I can do to make you happier?" "Stop making me attend all these stupid ceremonies." "With respect again, Lordship, these stupid ceremonies, as you put it, are the life of the castle." "They are how our time passes." "How we know where we come from." "What we are." "And you control them." "And yet again, with the greatest respect, Lordship," "I organise the various traditional rituals, I do not control them." " I am merely a servant." " You could be making them up." "You're welcome to look for yourself." "Rites, rituals, ceremonies!" "I don't want them!" "I'm not a performing monkey." " We all have our duty." " And I don't want duty!" "What about me?" "!" " (Titus ) Well, I hate him!" " Because he does his job?" "No, because of what he is!" "Why are you defending him?" "I am not!" "Why should I?" "I never see him!" "I'm not surprised." "How he can see anyone with a face like that?" "He can't help it!" "You are so arrogant." "He saved our lives once." "In the library?" "That was years ago." "And he tried to save Barquentine!" "We need him, Titus." " The castle needs him." " Why care about the castle?" "I hate it!" "Every stone!" "And so do you!" " I do not." " You do." "You're miserable all the time." "Who do you talk to?" "No one." "All you do is dream and what use is that." "Nothing." "Unless you ARE seeing him." "Are you?" "Are you seeing Steerpike behind my back?" "You heard what I said." "I know I did." "Now, tell me the truth." "I have to have someone to talk to, don't I?" "You just said so." "You speak to Mr Flay, don't you?" "That's secret, Fuchsia." "No-one knows he's here." "You haven't told Steerpike, have you?" "No!" "I told you, I hardly see him!" "He's disgusting." "Is he?" "oh, is he really?" "Is that what you think, Titus?" "Who are you to say that about him?" "What have you done that makes you so superior?" "What are you trying to say, Fuchsia?" "Perhaps I believe in equality!" "No, you don't." "Then perhaps I think that..." "that he is better than all of us!" "You might well be right." " He's obviously better than me!" " Titus." "Titus!" "I didn't mean it!" "This place heard no step for two hundred years." "(Flay ) Been here." "Been here." "And you." "But mostly, mostly him." "Steerpike." "This is everywhere he's been?" " Since Barquentine died?" " He killed him, Lordship." "He came down chimney from old room." "Never came out of room." "I was outside, there, waiting." "He could have gone down to save him." "Respect, Lordship." "Steerpike killed Secretary." "Had mirrors in chimney to watch him." "We have no proof." "We can't go accusing without..." "Don't need proof, Lordship!" "Know it!" "Followed him everywhere." "Something up there." "North." "Can't find out where he goes." "That's not proof either." "Sees Lady Fuchsia, Lordship." "I know." "I'll watch her." "I don't know what to do, Mr Flay!" "Catch him." "Kill him." "You'll kill him?" "Enemy of Gormenghast, Lordship." "My Lady, I'm here." "Mr Steerpike?" "I prefer you don't see my face." "I've prepared a room for you." "Would Your Ladyship come to me there?" "Would she talk with me?" "Her knight of the clouds will wait forever." "I'll come." "(Sighs )" ""How white and scarlet is that face who comes from some unusual place."" "No need to read it out." "A maid found it in Fuchsia's bedroom." "Her Ladyship wrote it?" "A poem?" "White and scarlet." "Is she referring to Steerpike?" "Who else?" "Where's my bird?" "Madam, do you mean that between Lady Fuchsia and the Secretary... there is developing some kind of...?" "of course that's what I mean!" "(Whistles )" "Master Chalk!" "Madam, if I may mention something further." "When the Secretary lay in his delirium, as it were, after Barquentine's death, he did seem to say as he lay in his coma," ""And the twins make it five." I wondered..." "What?" "If he was perhaps referring to" " I realise I'm perhaps hypothesising " "Where is he?" "It occurred to me that IF Ladies Clarice and Cora... were numbers four and five..." "Yes?" "Who, then, were numbers one, two and three?" "Why should the Secretary be talking of such numbers in his sleep?" "I propose, Madam, that he was talking about deaths!" "Deaths?" "Exactly, Ladyship, deaths." "Perhaps he was including Barquentine." "You see with Lady Clarice and Cora, that would be three, wouldn't it?" "Yes, Squallor?" "He did say five." "Er..." "And the twins..." "Yes, I heard you the first time." "We have apparently three." "So what?" "Er, I wondered, Madam." "And why is Lady Fuchsia writing poems?" "What does it all mean, Madam?" "Go away, Squallor, can't you see I'm busy?" "Yes, Madam." "(Flay whispers ) Careful, my lady." "I heard something...!" "(Locks door)" "You fool!" "Why did you use a candle?" "Anybody could have seen you!" "How dare you?" "!" "Please forgive me." "Someone has been following me, I'm certain we're being watched." "It would be my death, Ladyship, if we were caught." "oh, please forgive me." "our time together is so valuable, I could not risk losing it." "I do apologise for my stupid behaviour." "Please forgive me." "This is what I've prepared for you." "The chair, the tapestry - it's the best I could find." "It all belongs to my family, Mr Steerpike." "I decorated it for you." "There's something else!" "Wait." "Close your eyes." "I don't want to close my eyes." "Then wait." "Please...?" "This is for you." "And with respect, it did not belong to your family." "His name is Satan." "I am very sorry, my lady." "I did not mean to speak to you like that." "I only mean to protect you." "You would be punished if they knew you were meeting me." "That's not your concern." "I've written you a poem!" "Would you like to see it?" "No!" "I don't want to see any more furniture or monkeys..." "Certainly no poems." "My lady?" "I want to see you." "Why don't you take that mask off?" "Because, you'll be even more disgusted by me." "Why don't you let me make my mind up about that?" "Madam..." "Let me see." "Please!" "Take it off!" "Lady Fuchsia?" "I must go." "I'm sorry." "Unlock the door." "See me again." "Unlock the door, please." "Don't leave me like this." "I beg you." "You are my only hope." "Let me out." "Please say you'll see me again." "I'll come." " See me again!" " I'll come again!" "I've said it." "I will." "Now unlock the door." "I beg you." "I know I'm a grotesque." "I know I come from nowhere... but I love you." "Believe me." "I didn't do very well there, did I?" "She won't come back, but I'll have the lovely lady, my little friend." "I promise you that." "And the whole family too." "I'm going to make them wish they were never born, or at least never born where they were." "Maybe they should try the kitchens next time!" "(Strangled wail)" "Let's go down, my little friend." "It will amuse me." "What else is there?" "(Steerpike ) We'll go when it's light and see what I've done." "Lordship!" "Lordship!" "It's time!" " Get doctor." " The doctor, Mr Flay?" "Bring weapons." "Meet me grand courtyard." "I knew it!" "What...what weapons do you think Mr Flay meant?" "I don't know." "I posses no firearms or swords..." "Pokers!" "By the fireside, be quick!" "Yes, I knew it!" "And the twins make five, I knew it!" "Twins - two, Barquentine - three." "Ah..." "Nannie Slagg." "The dispensary." "Poison!" "You fool!" "Prunesquallor." "Nannie Slagg, four!" "And five?" "His Lordship..." "Eh?" "Mad after the burning?" "Does he make five?" "Why would we count him?" "Unless..." "Yes..." "Steerpike, young Lordship." "At last." "This should be very interesting." "(Doctor) The grand courtyard?" "Are you sure?" "(Titus ) of course I'm sure!" "Look, here's a mark." " It's Mr Flay." "Must be." " Must be!" "What's he written?" "Catch me." "Silence." "Stealth and speed, dear boy." "Stealth and speed." "Be vigilant, dear boy... for any hieratic instructions however small." "Ha!" "There!" "Shh." "(Steerpike ) Sit." "I like this place." "Look around." "Why do you think I like it?" "Hmm?" "Shall I tell you?" "This is where I was born." "Up there." "In that little room." "And when I was six, they sent me down to Swelter." "Just you and me now, Satan." "A little tune for you?" "(Plays sad tune on pipe )" "Down, Satan." "(Monkey cries )" "Stop that noise, you idiot!" "This is what I wanted to show you!" "Look!" "There it is!" "The aristocracy!" "This is what they come to when they challenge me." "Your Ladyship Clarice, Your Ladyship Cora." "I brought a monkey to see you!" "He's so impressed, he's screaming!" "Why don't we show him what we can do?" "Hmm?" "Care for a dance?" "(Plays happy tune )" "Shh!" "I'm as mad as mad can be!" "Watch me get your whole family!" "I'm as mad as mad can be!" "And you two and me make three!" "Come, Satan." "Pearls..." "Pearls." "(Roars )" "Alas, poor Clarice, I knew you well." "or is it Cora?" "Good night, ladies." "Your servant leaves you to the mice." "(Flay ) Now." "Grub." "Ah!" "Put that knife down, Master Steerpike." "We want you to come with us." "A visit from His Lordship!" "That is a privilege." "Hiding, is he?" "Look to me, slug." " Look to the servant?" " Look to me!" "Certainly." "ooh!" "(Doctor) oh, Mr Flay." "Mr Flay." " Aaaah!" " No!" "Don't be frightened, my lord." "It's only a boy from the kitchens!" "See you in hell, Flay." "(Doctor) Mr Flay." "Mr Flay." "I was a coward, Mr Flay." "(Gasping) You...will...always...be..." "Lord...ship." "(Gertrude ) Why did nobody suspect?" "Why did nobody tell me?" "It was him." "He killed all of them." "He burnt the Library!" "(Doctor) I have no proof, Ladyship, but it seems so." "We saw him dance." "Dance!" "It was a lunatic dance..." "He certainly killed Mr Flay." "Flay?" "A lunatic dance?" "Here?" "In Gormenghast?" "Find him." "All work is suspended." "Scour the castle." "Every wing, every room, every inch." "Put a guard on all foodstores, I've no doubt the animal must eat." "Draw up your orders of search, Captain." "I will have him." "Ladyship." "Move yourselves!" "You, poet." "If you can write, I assume you can read." "Read the tomes." "You are the new secretary." "Secretary?" "Ma'am?" "That's what I said." "Are you deaf?" "Tomorrow is the day of the carvings. organise it." "I am a poet." "Now you are Secretary." "No sewer boy will hold Gormenghast to ransom." "And bury Flay." "Graveyard of the Select Retainers." "He has earned his place." "Get on with it." "Yes, Ladyship." "And His Lordship, what will he do?" "Will he defend his right or will he allow the vermin?" "Steerpike!" "From...from the sunrise to the night of the moon, in eternal day and eternal night... what has been has always been and... ..will always be... ..Gormenghast." "(All) Gormenghast!" "Carvers... ..create beauty..." " for the delectation of..." " Aaah!" "There!" "He's there!" "on the roof!" "Steerpike!" "You men!" "Take the fourth passage through to the dome!" "The rest, up along the back wall!" "Get out of my way!" "All of you!" "It's her!" "It's her!" "It's the wild girl!" "Get back to the woods!" "Stay down, Lordship!" "Don't let him get away!" "After him!" "Mind your footing!" "Aah!" "Throw me that rope!" "Where are you!" "Where are you!" "You lost him?" "And the Earl?" "." "Did no one see him leave?" "Where is Titus?" "Where's he gone?" "Damn him!" "Doesn't he know we're under threat?" "Tell me, girl!" "You know, don't you?" " I love him." "He's my brother!" " Where is he?" "He's all I've got left!" "Seal the castle, Captain." "No one leaves." "(Captain ) All of you, outside!" "It's you!" "No!" "Don't be frightened." "I'm your friend." "I'm Lord Titus!" "I've run away!" "I was looking for you!" "Please, I'm a friend!" "See?" "I don't want to hurt you." "I think I'm like you." "I think you're my sister." "My foster sister." "Please, I've come to find you." "I am Titus." "I've known you all my life." "Please." "I've wanted to see you." "Titus!" "No!" "(Captain ) Right, just keep moving." "Families stay together!" "Right, up you go, lad." "(Gertrude ) Put him in his room, under guard." "She's dead." "I thought you'd like to know." "She was struck by lightning." "The wild girl is dead." "Can't you hear me?" "You are the Earl of Gormenghast, what's she to you?" " I hate Gormenghast!" " What?" "!" "He is what he is." "The Carvers built a boat for you." "Use it and learn how to survive." "or perhaps you don't want that, either?" "Captain, your report." " Mother..." " Captain!" "The ground floor passages on the north and south are impassable, the Carvers are quartered in the fourth hall." "The east wing is eight foot under water..." " Good." " Ladyship?" "The higher the flood the less we'll need to search." "I don't care if the waters reach the chimneys." "I'll have you, Mr Steerpike." "(Shouting and crying)" "(Baby crying)" "Help me." "I'm starving." "Don't touch me!" " Listen to me!" " Don't touch me!" "Listen to me, please." "I did it." "I admit it." "I killed Flay." "You know that, don't you?" "I killed your aunts." "I burned the Library." "It was me!" "I burnt your father's books." "I drove him mad." "He killed himself because of me." "But I did it all for you." "I hate you." "I did it all to be where you could see me." " I don't want to see you." " You love me!" "I'm ugly and I'm disgusting and you love me." "You love me because I'm the only one who can see you." "You're so lonely, my lady." "I'm the only one who knows who and what you are." "Go away!" " I know your dreams." " You do not." " I do." "You know I do." " I have my family." "Your mother?" "Is that a mother?" "She hardly looks at you." "And do you have a real brother?" "Who is he?" "He's so wrapped up in himself, he can't tell." "He's even too weak to take what's given him." "Does he love you?" "Does he even see you?" "I'm sorry about your father." "I didn't think that would happen to him." "I thought you were all so strong!" "Much stronger than me." "I wanted to rescue you, so you'd like me." "Believe me, my lady, I'm yours." "You'll never know a love like mine." "I will die for you." "Look at me!" "I'm dying for you now." "But I'll win." "They can't stop me." "Because now I know..." "I'm stronger than all of them." "For you, I am." "With you, I am." "You're so ugly." "That doesn't matter any more, does it?" "I will make you my queen." "I will give you everything you need." "Yes." "Yes." "Everything." "oh, Fuchsia." "How dare you call me that?" "!" "I am Lady Fuchsia." "How dare you call me by a familiar!" "Kitchen boy!" "No!" "Lady Fuchsia!" "Guard!" "Guard, he's here!" "The kitchen rat!" "Is here!" "No!" "Lady Fuchsia!" "Go away from me!" "Do not touch me!" "You have no right to touch ME!" "Guard!" "Guard, he's here!" "The rat is here!" "I could have given you everything." "Remember that!" "I could have made you everything you ever dreamt of." "There!" "Quickly!" "I love him." "No way out." "Just me." "Be careful, good sirs." "This is human cargo!" "Titus?" "We could possibly do with a little of His Lordship's vigour!" "Not me, Doctor." "I'm of no use to anyone!" "Lordship!" "Please forgive my lowly theft!" "The rain's nice, Nannie." "I can pretend I'm not crying." "(Knock at the door)" "No!" "(Maid) Lady Fuchsia?" "No more, thank you." "(Splash)" "Ladyship?" "Lady Fuchsia!" "I came over the roofs." "I've seen him." "He's in the south wing." "He's surrounded by water." "Captain." "Would you also like to know that my sister's dead." "Titus?" "They've just pulled her out of the water." "Her maid said she jumped." "The maid's outside but you wouldn't see her." "She's still waiting, Mother." "She wants to tell you your daughter is dead." "(Captain ) Can you show us where Steerpike is, Lordship?" "Yes, I can." "I'm going to kill him." "Guards!" "I already know." "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." "(Voices )" "(Straining and roaring)" "(Titus ) Captain." "This one." "open the door." "Down there." "(Captain ) Put some meat into it!" "(Captain ) Stand aside!" "(Captain ) See anything?" "(Steerpike ) No one here, sir!" "He was there!" " Look!" " Ye gods!" " It's him!" "It's Steerpike!" " My Lord!" " Look out!" " Aaah!" "He's there!" "Go in!" "Kill him!" "Aaah!" "Aaah!" "Aaah!" "From one who should've been your son!" "(Gertrude ) Stop him!" "He's in the water!" "He's there!" "In the ivy, you idiots!" "Goodbye, Mother!" "Titus?" "Titus!" "Come on!" "ouh!" "You were lucky." "Lordship." "Welcome, Titus, Earl of Gormenghast." "He was right." "He should have been your son, Mother." "At least he would have appreciated it." "And here lie the remains of Her Ladyship Fuchsia Anastasia Alice," "Gwendolina Marshal Groan." "Guardian of the South Pastures," "Receiver of the Guild of Master Carvers, daughter to Sepulchrave and Gertrude, sister to Titus." "(Caw )" "I'm leaving, Mother." "There's nowhere else." "You'll tread a circle, Titus Groan." "I must see for myself." "You are the Earl..." " I didn't ask to be." " And may do as you desire." " Mother..." " He'll return, won't he, my wise one?" "Everything returns..." "Goodbye, Mother!" "Goodbye, Captain." "Lordship." "Yah!"