"[bagpipes playing "Amazing Grace"]" "My name's Corey Frankenstein." "And that right there..." "Well, that's me and my brother Luke." "The big guy's our Uncle Connor." "He's our Dad's twin." "As you can see, twins run in our family." "That, unfortunately is our parents." "They were killed by a drunk driver when we were five." "Ironic, when you consider they made beer for a living." "These belonged to me and your father." "Celtic symbol..." "for brothers." "Now, come here." "♪ ..." "He had seen all to be seen ♪" "♪ A life once full now an empty vase ♪" "♪ Wilt the blossoms on his early grave ♪" "♪ Walk away, me boy Walk away, me boy ♪" "♪ And by morning we'll be free ♪" "♪ Wipe that golden tear from your mother dear ♪" "♪ And raise what's left of the flag for me ♪" "♪ Then the rosary beads, count them 1, 2, 3 ♪" "♪ Fell apart as they hit the floor ♪" "♪ In a garb of black we must pay respect ♪" "♪ To the color we're born to mourn ♪" "♪ Walk away, me boys Walk away, me boys ♪" "♪ And by morning we'll be free ♪" "♪ Wipe that golden tear from your mother dear ♪" "♪ And raise what's left of the flag for me ♪" "♪" "♪ In its place grew an angry festered wound ♪" "♪ Full of hatred and remorse ♪" "♪ Where I pick and scratch till the blood it matched ♪" "♪ Silent rage now that fills my lungs ♪" "♪ For there are many ways to kill a man they say ♪" "♪ With bayonet, axe, or sword ♪" "♪ But son a bullet fired from a shapeless guise ♪" "♪ Just put the shell of a Thompson gun ♪" "♪ Walk away, me boys Walk away, me boys ♪" "♪ And by morning we'll be free ♪" "♪ Wipe that golden tear from your mother dear ♪" "♪ And raise what's left of the flag for me ♪" "♪" "♪ From the east out to the Western shore ♪" "♪ Where many men and many more will fall ♪" "♪ But no angel flies with me tonight ♪" "♪ Though freedom reigns on all ♪" "♪ But sure as night turns day ♪" "♪ It's the passion play ♪" "♪ Oh, my God, what have they done... ♪" "[chuckles] You boys." "♪ And by morning we'll be free ♪" "♪ Wipe that golden tear from your mother dear ♪" "♪ And raise what's left of the flag for me ♪" "♪" "Our parents founded Left Hand Brewing Company with our Uncle Connor." "And after Luke and I were born, the three of them started working on a family beer." "But our parents had died while it was still in development, and our Uncle just didn't have the heart to finish it without them, you know." "He talked about it all the time, though." "Said, that one day he, Luke, and I were gonna finish ft together." "But first, we'd have to learn the fundamentals of brewing at home, before we could ever hope to work at the brewery." "He said that the virtues we would learn over the years it took to become great brewers, would one day make Luke and I men." "He told us that one day we were gonna have to finish the family ale, and when we did, it better not taste like piss." "Jesus, did you piss in this?" "In high school, we developed a certain reputation with the ladies." "In college, we partied pretty hard." "And looking back on it, shit, hard to believe we went to school for anything else." "[all yelling]" "well, why don't you let me take you to dinner some time and show you." "You're kind of cute, but I have a boyfriend." "Really?" "!" "So are we still gonna get that dinner later?" "It's OK, Luke, I get it." "What?" "I know what this is." "That girl slnglehandedly ruined my last semester of college." "Ever since then Luke felt all guilty and went on this huge mission to find a girlfriend." "However, with five months until graduation," "I too had asked myself what the hell I was doing with my life." "And so, Luke and I decided it was time" "We would ask Connor permission to finish the family ale." "To Mom and Dads beer." "[glasses clink]" "OK, Connor." "This one is a dry hop..." "Wildflower honey..." "I'm impressed." " There we are!" " Thank you!" "See what you can do." "Connor gave us his blessing;" "We set off to finish the family ale." "It was our one chance to prove to him and the other brewers that we could one day run this brewery." "But it wasn't just that..." "I mean, this beer was everything to us." "It represented who we were and where we came from..." "Nothing would stop us from finishing it." "[party music]" "Hello, ladies." "You look fantastic!" "Have a beer!" "[crowd chattering]" "You Know, beer's actually the only reason we have civilization to begin with." "It gave birth to agriculture." "Before beer, no one wanted to live around each other." "Then we invent it and like," ""As long as we have this stuff, I think we can tolerate each other, and we could form communities."" "You're stupid." "That's Derek." "Luke and I just met him at this pet store today buying dog food for Hoss." "You guys just graduate from CU?" "Yeah, bro." "I'm goin' there next year." "Nice, man!" "You're gonna love it." "We've been to couple parties, and they're insane." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "I really don't know much about that." "I was never a really big partier in high school, you know?" "[yelling, clapping]" "Corey!" "Corey!" "This is the best night of my life!" "I love you, man!" "Way to go, Derek!" "I don't feel so good." "What's wrong?" "Nothin', man." "Talk to me." "Great party." "You doin' OK, bud?" "Doin' great." "Fantastic." " OK." " OK." "And will you please grab a beer, for God's sakes!" "It pains me when you drink these drinks in front of me!" "We need to start developing your palate." "All right, thanks, Corey." "Tough love!" "I thought you'd like it, being so..." "Away from the party and all." "I do." "And..." "let's go..." "No, no, no." "Slow down, slow down." "I don't think we're ready for this." " What?" " Just slow down." " Are you gay?" " No!" "I'm trying to be mature." "OK, what's mature about celibacy, Luke?" "Between you and Corey, you've slept with half the campus." "And I'm trying to move on from that." "You Know, have a relationship." "Someone I can start a family with." "Whoa." "All right..." "That's creepy." "How the hell is that creepy?" "You're 22." "You're clock's ticking." "OK..." "My mom had me and Corey when she was 23." "Just kiss me." "No, I really want to talk about this." "Luke, just kiss me!" "I'm trying to..." "Whoa!" "You Know what, Luke, this is, um..." "Wait!" " I'm sorry." " I'm tryin' to be a good guy." " It's fine." "You're just..." "You're a faggot" "Hey." "I saw that, uh, you got your drink stolen." "I thought I'd make you a new one." "Thanks." "Uh, you're welcome." "Not a big beer drinker either, I take it, huh?" "No, not really." "OK, I'm..." "just gonna go." "[live band plays]" "Do you feel like this a direct and personal attack towards me?" "Get II this girlfriend crap out of your head, OK?" "Don't you like what we have?" "I love it, man." "I just wanted that real connection." "Dude, we have that connection." "That's really not an attractive angle on Britanny_" "She's turning into such a slut." "Well, on that note..." "I'm gonna take the rest of these upstairs, and drink about ten of them until I forget all my problems." "Heart you." "Good night, Corey." "What's wrong with him?" "I don't know..." "He's just bein' a faggot" "Oh, I see you're drinking the pale ales." "Did you know that beer's the only reason that we have civilization to begin with?" "No, I did not, Mr. Santa." "It gave birth to agriculture." "Wow, you're so smart." "Thank you." "How do you get out of this suit?" "I need a little help." "You don't Know how hot and sweaty this thing is." "Mmmmm..." "OK, stop..." "OK, I like this." "OK, OK, stop now!" "Ahh!" "You can say Joy and I hit it off." "And the next morning to avail our wicked hangovers, she invited the guys and me to a barbecue at her friend Kelly's house." "Don't you wanna play with your friends?" "Not really feelin' physical activity right now." "So, uh, when Annie and Ray gettin' married?" "In August, but please, don't remind me." "Well, Ray..." "he seems like a cool guy." "Yeah." "Ray's an idiot." "My daughter doesn't even see what a loser this guy is, because he plays the guitar." "He plays an instrument, that's it." "Thank God for beer, otherwise parenting would be impossible." "So, I thank you Frankenstein brothers." " Cheers." " We try." "I quit." "I'm done, She's not even trying anymore." "Hey..." "Hi." "[with drunken slur] Did you do sports in college?" "Mom, go away." "Kelly, don't be such a downer!" "Whoa..." "Whoa!" " Are you OK, Miss?" " God dammit!" "You OK?" " Bring her over here." " Need some help?" "You Know, I gotta be careful." "Last time I fell in love with beer, I gained ten pounds." "Oh, so it's the beer's fault." "[both laughing]" "You Know, I don't give a fuck anymore." "I like you." "I like you too, George." "Let her drown." "Hey, you." "Hey." "Everyone's looking for you - even my dad." "Yeah, George, he's a cool guy." "Come sit down." "[kids squealing]" "You know my Grandpa invented the slip n' slide?" "No way!" "Are you serious?" "That's like one of my all-time favorite inventions." "Do you wanna go play with them?" "Yes!" "Are you messin' with me?" "Well, technically they have to let us." "Grandpa invented it." "And, I also..." "babysit them." "Please..." "You are serious... ♪ [screams and squeals]" "Put me down!" "The next day at work," "Luke wouldn't shut the fuck up about Kelly." "But at least he had his sunny disposition back." "Thanks, brother." "Pius, we were killin' it on the beer." "We'd definitely have it done by Fall." "I want the thunder pack." "I'm gettin' the arrows." "OK." "You guys ready yet?" "Yeah, just let us finish our game." "You guys playin' Lord of the Rings?" "Yeah, what's wrong with that?" "Nothin'_" "I was just reading this article yesterday about Tolkien." "And supposedly all the elves are gay." " Really?" "!" " Yeah." "Apparently they only keep girl elves around to make more gay elves." "Shut up, Corey!" "I mean, I didn't write the book, Misha." "Tolkien did." "Yep." "So, um, which character are you?" "I'm Legolas." "Hmm." "That's an interesting character selection." "Where's Luke?" "Riding with Kelly." "I know." " Oh, he told you?" " Yeah." "He didn't want to tell you." "Apparently, I'm not being told a lot of things." "That's right." "You're too busy reading Tolkien." "You two hurry up." "We're late for the game." "Yes!" "[yelling, cheering]" "Go, go, go!" "Somebody get him!" "Luke!" "What's up, bro?" "What the fuck, man?" "We're gettin' killed out there!" "Spendin' some time with Kelly." "You comin' with me now?" "I'm all good, man." "Dude, come on." "I need you, you know..." "Thought you were starting to date Joy anyway." "Dude, Joy Knows what we have." "What do we have?" "A solid friendship, where we slam on the side." "I mean, it's the best thing I've ever had in my life." "Kelly, will you just give me a moment alone with Luke?" "I just need to talk to him for just one second." "No." "All right, but if you stay, I'm just gonna talk to him as if you weren't here." "Kelly..." "Would you like to come to our birthday party?" "Whoa, dude..." "No." "Not allowed to invite girls to our birthday party." " Says who?" " Says I..." "And says every other year rule...since then." "And why can't I invite Kelly to our birthday party?" "Because they become all judgmental, and they ruin all my fun!" "Look at Corey!" "Look at that!" "Look at the stripper he's on." "Look at all this bad behavior." " He's like a cartoon character." " At a strip club?" "Yeah..." "There's gonna be titties everywhere." "Well, you Know how much I love that, but I'm gonna pass." "It was his turn to plan it." "Hmm, good." "But just so we're clear, Kel..." "Weren't invited in the first place." "Just so we're clear, Corey..." "Spats for football?" "!" " You look like a douche bag." " Fuck you, Luke!" "[music blares, cheers, yells]" "Lukey!" "Are you serious?" "Where do you find them?" "I know how to find them." "How is life?" " Fantastic!" " Good, good, good." "Oh, oh, oh..." "I know this face." "I hope she knows you're here." "She does know I'm here." "No way." "That's wifey material." "That's what I'm tryin' to tell everybody." "All right, listen..." "Go have fun." "Corey's already here, there's food." "Enjoy the girls!" "[both chuckling] [speaking Russian]" "Eat something!" "Look at you, huh?" "You look like you're almost dead!" "Thanks, Papa." "All right, all right." "[cheering, yelling]" "No way, dude." "Gambit is like the best X Man ever." "He throws playing cards made out of purple energy that explode." "Gay!" "Corey!" "Enough, man!" "Can you lay off the whole gay thing?" "Just try to be a little more sensitive?" "Can you try to be a little less gay?" "Hey, Corey..." "Yes..." "I'm gay." "No!" "Really?" "Yeah." "And I told everybody here except for you." "You even told that little fuck before me?" "!" "I knew." "I-How's it feel Knowing I'm gay, Mr. Macho Man?" "Well, technically, Misha, you're the Macho Man." "Hey, Corey, wait up!" "Hey, Luke!" "Sorry I'm late, buddy!" "Luke!" "How am I doin"?" "Are we supposed to..." "How am I doin"?" "Luke!" "Do not give the bird a penis." "Please don't." "Please..." "Please don't." "Bam!" "Sell that!" "I think it's good." "♪" "[singing with music]" "[music suddenly stops]" "Where the hell you been, bro?" "Don't worry about it, buddy." "We were supposed to work on our family beer today, man." "I knew you'd be upset about that." "But right now, I just really want to concentrate on my and Kelly's relationship." " Oh, my God..." " I'm trying to grow up." "I know." "Next you're gonna be drinkin' Pilsners, watchin' Grey's Anatomy..." "It's a great beer." "You know exactly what I mean." "That sucky Miss Whore is ruining you." "That's not OK." "Stop!" " It hurts me." " That's not OK with me." "That's why I'm tryin' to do this..." "Tryin' to put you in the right direction." "Are you?" "Because Kelly fucking sucks..." "Do not talk about Kelly that way to me!" "So you're takin' sides against me?" "I'm not takin' sides against you, bro." "Yes, you are!" "Is this fucking meaningless now, Luke?" "Should I just take it off and hang myself with it, or throw it in a river?" "Fuck you, Corey." "Fuck you!" "You Know what?" "I'm gonna leave." "I'm gonna be the bigger man." "Not get in this..." "childish conversation." "Good." "You cut up your little carrots!" "I'm out!" "Kelly will be here soon anyway." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "That is not why I'm leaving." "One more step..." "One more step." " You keep saying one more step." " Stop, stop, stop." "Ready?" "Is everything OK?" "Yes, it's perfect." "Are you sure?" "I can pull this table in closer." "No..." "It'll be easier for you to reach." "Let me do it." "Just hold on one second." "No!" " There..." " No!" "It's perfect." "I don't know..." "I'm tryin' to make it..." "Luke, it's beautiful." "It looks like something out of a Disney movie." "Did you say Disney?" "You like Disney movies?" " Yes." " What's your favorite?" "Uh..." "Snow White." "The dwarves are like best friend brothers." "I love that movie!" "It's like one of my favorite movies ever." "OK..." "I Know..." "I like that one." "You wanna do it?" "You wanna do the whole Lady and the Tramp thing?" "I don't know..." "What?" "Am I moving' too fast?" "That was too fast." "I won't do that..." "I can't read you." "It's just so awkward for me." "I'm tryin' so hard though." "I don't know what you..." "It's simple." "I'll get all the spaghetti..." "What Lady and the Tramp thing?" "I Know, I'm a little spazzy." "What I'll do is I'll grab all the spaghetti, and I'll throw it on one plate." "We'll grab opposite ends of the same strand..." "And then we'll accidentally kiss, and it'll be awesome." "Luke!" "I got a milk shake with two straws;" "We could do that one too." " Stop." " Baby, I got what you need." "What'll lit take?" "[laughs]" " What'll it take?" " Can you please..." "Just don't do all this for me." " Please." " I want to." "You're worth it." "Can you please just be yourself for two minutes?" "Please..." "You want me to be myself?" "That'd be great..." "Thank you." "You look a little cold." "I'm not bein' weird..." "just tryin' to help you out." "Oh, thanks." "I appreciate it." "Just kiddin'." "You look beautiful tonight..." "Thank you." "Come here." "♪" "♪ I need your smile ♪" "♪ I'm feeling so empty ♪" "♪ And in the end ♪" "♪ You take what you carry ♪" "♪ I'll hold you high ♪" "♪ When I see you smilin' ♪" "♪ And when I go ♪" "♪ Just tell me you're... ♪ [muffled screaming]" "[laughter] Hey, Misha." " Corey..." " What's up?" "What are you doing here?" "I, uh..." "I wanted to see you." "I'm just fuckin' with you." "Luke needs our help." "He's in serious trouble, buddy." "You are such an asshole." "[laughs]" "No, seriously, though, Luke is officially a faggot" "No offense." "Seriously, I'm actually really sorry about that." "I'm going back to bed." "No, dude!" "We gotta do somethin'!" "Corey, go away." "We gotta do somethin', man." "I'm talkin', like, sabotage." "Shhh!" "Is this really your life's biggest issue?" "Yes, this is my life's biggest issue!" "Do you have any idea what's going on in the world right now?" "Yes, I do." "People have their issues, I have mine." "This is my AIDS in Africa, my Darfur..." "Shut up." "You really have no awareness outside of yourself, do you?" "You Know, Misha..." "Hey, Corey." "Yeah.." "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." "It's OK, man." "Like I didn't know." "Sleep tight, Liberace." " Go upstairs." " I am not drunk!" "I just had two glasses of wine with dinner!" " Ha, ha, ha..." " You think you're so funny." "I do not think I'm funny." " Yes, you do." "This would probably seem funny to other people, but I can't help that." "Go!" "Just go!" "You Know what..." "I will go upstairs." "Fine." "[book slams] You read the book!" "I don't care!" "Shhh!" "Keep your voice down!" " She can't hear it!" " Shut up!" "Like what you got goin' on here." "Hey, are you sure you can handle this?" "I mean..." "Oh, thanks." "Corey, don't be a dick." "I'm not;" "I'm actually concerned for her safety." "Dude, you have to start treatin' Kelly with some respect." "Respect?" "Can't even spell respect." "Why are you doin' this, man?" "I thought you'd eventually be a little bit more mature about the situation." "You Know what?" "You obviously over-estimated my maturity." "Obviously." "Hey, Luke, don't push me!" "Really?" "Why not?" "I said, don't fuckin' push me Luke!" "What are we gonna do?" "Are we gonna fight now?" " Maybe." " Are we gonna fight?" " if you keep talking shit!" " Fuck, Kelly!" "I told you to stop talkin' shit about Kelly!" "I swear to God, I'm gonna fuckin' beat your fuckin' ass..." "After that, Luke just stopped showing up to work altogether." "♪" "[both giggling]" "[chattering laughing]" "♪" "I don't wanna have any more conversation about it, Connor!" "[continues yelling]" "♪" "You guys are a couple or morons!" "I'm the one who makes this beer!" "You drink it!" "♪" "I've been here every single day, working!" "I'm outta here!" "Fuck you, Connor!" "I know that reading is making you all hungry." "Peanut butter and jelly..." "Kelly's favorite when she was a little girl." " Enjoy." " Thank you." "Your mom's awesome." "Yeah, she can be pretty great." "♪ And they can't take away the pain ♪" "♪ If I don't Know you're hurting again ♪" "♪ I can't leave you on your own ♪" "♪ If I Know you're crying all alone ♪ [door slams]" "OK..." "This one's a stout." "Now the roasted barley might seem a little harsh and off-putting at first, but the more you drink it, the more of a taste and understanding you'll develop." "I like stout." "I Know." "You'll begin to realize just how sweet it is." "Well, aren't you gonna try it with me?" "No, no." "I want you to go first, and to be completely honest about what you think." "Tastes like piss." "I can taste the sweetness." "Ah, man..." "Aww... [door creaks open]" "Derek, before we continue, have you done your homework?" "Yes." " Are you sure?" " Yes." "I'll quiz you on it after." "OK, movin' on." "Don't be a nice guy." "Nice guys never get laid in college." "And never ever tell an attractive girl she's pretty." "She's used to hearing this." "She's gonna want nothing to do with you." "Not pretty." "Always find something that just isn't there at all." "Fabricate it." ""You're very funny," "You're very smart."" ""You're very insightful."" "Lying is a powerful aphrodisiac" " I'm gonna practice this." " That's fantastic." "Corey!" "Corey!" "Corey, it's the clap..." "Kelly gave me the fuckin' clap!" " No way!" " Shut up!" "Oh, shit, dude, what the fuck is that?" "It's all red;" "I think it's gonorrhea." "If that's the case, it's OK." "I think you can treat it with penicillin." "[phone rings]" "Who is it?" "Is it Kelly?" "I think you know what you need to do." "You should break up with her..." "Right now." "Break up with her." "[phone continues ringing]" "Why don't you at least just get tested..." "Before you jump to conclusions!" "Derek, thank you." "You're right..." "I should get tested." "Um, Mr. Frankenstein..." "Looks like your rash is just a terrible case of dry skin." "So... gonna write you a prescription..." "And you'll have the rest of your results in a few weeks." "[laughs]" "Thank you, doctor." "So, you come here often?" "What?" "!" "It's cool..." "I come here a lot." "Get a lot of sex." "That's, um..." "good for you." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Do you get a lot of sex too?" "I mean, you know..." "You Know, you're pretty funny." "You're clear." "The rest of the results will take a few weeks, but as of now..." "You're clear." "Thank you." "I expected that." "All right." "Well, my plan had backfired, and I awaited the rest of my results." "And although Luke had unofficially abandoned me," "I stayed with it." "[singing]" "Hey, what y'all doin'?" "Sending out Corey's STD results." "What?" "!" "You're not actually sending those out, are you?" "Boom." "We haven't even gotten all our test results back." "Not true." "We just got the blood work back." "[finger snap]" "Where'd you put mine?" "Oh, I already opened it." "I just went for support." "Hmm..." "Don't worry, Kelly..." "you're good." "Yeah, HIV's not serious." "[both laugh]" "Don't touch me." "Your outfits are very appropriate for where we're going." "Look like a couple of gay lumberjacks" "You look delightful." "I think you look delightful." "Corey... [laughs]" "You all need a ride?" "No, actually we don't." "I think we'll take a cab." "OK." "I'm not stickin' around for this." "[club music plays]" "♪" "I can't believe we're fucking doin' this." "Told you you didn't have to come, Corey." "No..." "I wanted to." "So, um..." "Do you see any cute guys?" "There's a few." "What about this one?" "He seems kind of cute, huh?" "Eh..." "Not really my style." "Are you sayin' I don't have good gay taste?" "Fuck you guys." "Ah!" "Let's go find you a cute one." "Good luck, Misha." "I'm pullin' for you." " Thanks, man." " Not literally." "[laughs]" "Don't have too much fun." "What can I get you guys?" "Maybe a 'jiz fizz?" "How 'bout you?" "Brokeback Fountain, or something?" "No, I'm not gay, man." "We'll take three appletinis, please." "Wow..." "Really goin' all out tonight, aren't we?" "Yes, we are, my man." "Hey, boys..." "Can I buy those drinks?" "You most certainly can, Miss Superfantastic." "[laughs]" "I like this guy." "You should talk to him, Misha." "I like you too, blue eyes." "Um..." "You Know what?" "You two can get well acquainted." "I'm gonna take off." "But, um, you Know, talk." "Come on, you promised you'd dance with me." "I'm sorry." "I'm busy." "I'll dance with you later." "Hi." "Hi." "I guess I gotta ask - how does it feel?" " It feels, uh, good." " Yeah?" "It feels...right." "I'm sorry for being a dick to you at the party the other night." "I'm still feeling a little uncomfortable." "Hey, hey.." "I get it. it's totally cool." "It's totally cool." "Hey Misha!" "This is awesome!" "You should have been gay like four years ago!" "I was!" "[laughs]" "As we approached the end of August," "I knew we were fucked." "I'd been staffing pretty hard at work, hoping Luke would eventually come back to me, but he never did." "I started asking some of the other brewers for help, and I knew I was tossing up the Hail Mary." "Connor had given us our big chance, and, well..." "Shit!" "We really fucked it up." "Corey, we've already put too much money into this." "No, no!" "I get that Connor, but you don't understand," "Luke threw me off with his little girlfriend." "I don't give a shit about his little girlfriend." "I don't give a shit about his girlfriend either, but I can't finish without him, Connor." "You Know what?" "That's his problem." "I gave you two dopes a ton of responsibility." "If you don't finish the family ale, I will!" "You got it?" "!" "Got it." "Got it!" "[air hissing]" "Do not be afraid of rejection!" "Do you think I score with every girl I meet?" "!" "Yes!" " No!" "As surprising as it is, most girls don't even like me." "What?" "I know. it's crazy, right?" "But there's a reason sex is often compared to baseball." "If you only get on base one third of the time, man, you're Hall of Fame material." "This is the biggest fault of guys, period." "Pussies afraid of rejection, man." "Just fuck it!" "If some girl doesn't want to touch your penis, it's OK." "She's probably a lesbian." "[chuckling] Lesbians." "Are you writing this down?" "Yeah, Corey." "Excuse me?" "Yes, Sensei!" "Thank you..." "Now where were we?" "Girls." "That's right, girls." "They're amazing at reading body language." "If you're in a position where you want to Kiss a girl, just do it." "If you hesitate, she'll think you're a pussy." "With women it is better to just do, and ask questions later." "However, this does not include rape, Derek!" "It is never OK to rape someone without asking!" " That's enough for today." " OK." "I want you to read chapters three and four, OK?" "And no skimming." "I'm gonna quiz your little bitch ass." "Chapters three..." "S'up?" "You look very...intelligent." "Derek, no!" "You Know what?" "And go review chapter two." "Dammit!" "You are creating a monster." "I Know, isn't it great?" "Frankenstein's monster." "We're not watching Twilight." "Please!" "I promise you'll like it." "No!" "Absolutely not!" "What gave you that idea?" "Well, because..." "you liked The Notebook." "That was because that was a good story." "It was nice, and..." "Pretty please with sugar on top... [coughs loudly] Chlamydia!" " Hi, Luke." " Corey..." "I got a flat." "So weird!" "Can I borrow your car?" "No." "You can't, dude." "Don't be a dick." "Just give me your keys." "Fine, but you have to come take a shot with us." "It's like one in the afternoon, you can't be serious." "Oh, I'm dead serious." "♪" " Cheers." " Cheers." "All right, bro..." "A deal's a deal." "Just make sure you're there in the next 35 to 45 minutes." " OK, brother?" " OK." "Thank you." "Have a fun trip, Luke." " No!" " Joy, wait!" "Hey, hey, hey..." "It'll be fine." "Joy, it'll be funny..." "We'll watch Twilight." "Huh?" "Twilight..." "Twilight, yeah!" "So, explain to me..." "What is the fascination with the Twilight shit?" "I wanna get it!" "It's like the old school romance that every single girl wants." "I got a good idea." "Every time that chick's head twitches like she's having a seizure..." "we drink." "[carnival music plays]" "There's one." " God, I hate her." " She's pretty." "Stop." "They're like frilly, little gay vampires." "They're not gay!" "They totally bang each other." "♪" "She's a nervous, teenage girl with..." "Angst." "There's another one." "No, she's not..." "Why does a vampire like her?" "Ahh!" "Stop it..." "Watch the movie." "Where's your stupid boyfriend, Kelly?" "I'm hungry." " Where's your stupid boyfriend?" " Where's your boyfriend?" "I'll be back." "Look who's here, guys?" "Hey, there he is." " It's a party now!" " About time." "G-O-R-E-G-E." " I'm a vampire." " Stop it." "[screams] Stop it!" " I'm seriously gonna kill you." " Are you gonna kill me?" "I remember you!" "Chewbacka..." "What did he just say?" " This is great." " Super." " Maggie." " Hi, Luke." "Where is it'?" "Here!" "Give it to me..." "I got this for you." " Oh, Luke..." " Thank you." " That is so thoughtful of you." " It's an Easy-Bake Oven." "Thanks!" "Cookin' with a lightbulb!" "[cell phone rings]" "Who was that?" "Nobody." "Really?" "Thought I saw a name." "I couldn't really make it out, but..." "Really?" "What'd you think of the movie?" "Fuckin' hated it." "Why?" "Just fuckin' hated it." "Why?" "I tried to like it, but I couldn't, because it sucked." "And you Know what?" "People can call me a feminist, but the one thing..." "Oh, yeah, call you a feminist..." "Yeah, call me a feminist, but I don't like movies about girls with poor little hearts and need a man to save them." "Oh, my God, you are a piece of work." "It puts women in a position of weakness." "I don't get how people don't fuckin' see that!" "Like you give a shit about women!" "Like I give a shit about women?" "I adore women." "That's why I fuckin' care." "That's why it bugs me..." "That's why you fuck other women!" "You fuck other guys!" "This is the first time you've ever been honest with me, ever." "The first time?" "This is the first time you've ever been honest with me!" "Obviously, you stopped being all bubbly... [mockingly] Hi, Corey..." "I'm so sweet and innocent..." "Shut up!" "What the fuck are you on?" "!" "Did you see the photos?" "Yes, I saw the photos!" "Luke, what is going on?" "!" "Hey, lady..." " Is this stuff here?" " Yes." "Can you put this stuff on me?" "Yes." " I can wear this?" " Luke, you really don't..." "For a minimal charge of?" "21.95." "Luke, we don' have time for this." "I don't have time to do this discussion." "Did you hear that?" "Seriously?" "!" "[moaning shower running] [phone ringing]" "[ringing continues]" "OK, just give me a second." "Goddammit, Corey." "Hello." "Corey?" "What the fuck did you do to your brother?" "♪" "Don't move..." "This is a stickup" "Give me a ring..." "Give me a ring!" "No, a good one!" "The pink one!" "Don't you think I got any taste?" "!" " This the one?" " No fast moves, tough guy." "Slow down there." "Aw, come on, man!" "You have to pay for that." "Security..." "Oh..." "Oh, Shit." "This place is creepy." "It's like a ghost town." "Some people have definitely died here." "Whee..." "Like the cake, sweetie?" "Want another piece?" "Kelly Martin..." "Will you marry me?" "Luke, stand up, please." "What the fuck is he doin'?" "I am so serious." "We'd have the most beautiful life together." "You're not serious;" "You're on drugs." "Baby, I'm not on drugs." "Ow!" "I'm not on..." "I'm on drugs!" "I didn't take drugs!" "I know you didn't take them;" "Corey gave them to you." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Corey!" "Did you hear that?" "Oh, fuck." "[both laugh]" "Make my hand get smaller." "Wait..." "No..." "Wait!" "I've thought about this before." "You've been thinking about this a long time?" "We can make it work." "We'd be so happy together - better than this." "I don't want..." "I don't want to get married." "(Corey) Luke..." "Are you OK, man?" "That wasn't cool." "Hey, Kelly." "Hey, guys." "Oh, you really got me." "I'm gonna get you now!" "Calm down, Luke!" "Luke, this is not safe!" "Let's go, Luke!" "[yelling]" "There's no running in the food court!" "This is the best birthday ever!" "I like him!" "♪" "♪ No, I don't wanna have to go it alone without... ♪" "♪ No, I don't wanna have to go it alone without you ♪" "Oh, my God!" "It's a dragon chasing us!" "♪" "Come on!" "Here we go!" "That's a broom closet!" "You're done!" "Yeah!" "Au right!" "You're locked in!" "I-How's it feel to be..." "locked in'?" "Kids?" "Kids?" "Kids?" "Fuck!" "♪" "Corey, what about me?" "Corey!" "♪" "Don't do it!" "Don't jump!" "That's so much paperwork - you have no idea." "Oh, the fun's over..." "The fun's over." "What happened?" "I didn't even do anything." "[door slams]" "These walls are..." "They're all white!" "[Corey laughing]" "What's funny?" "!" "Corey!" "Should I be laughing?" "Answer me!" "Should I be laughing?" "!" "No, man..." "I should be laughing." "What?" "Just calm down over there, buddy." "Try to enjoy the experience." "Oh, my God." "We're in jail right now!" "We're gonna get raped, aren't we?" "No, dude, you're safe." "You're in your own cell, for Christ's sake." "Dude, with our bone structure..." "we don't stand a chance!" "Luke, calm down." "Everything's gonna be OK." "I miss Kelly." "I want Kelly." "I love Kelly!" "Will you try to get your mind off Kelly?" "I hate you!" "That's a start, man." "What do you hate about me?" "A lot of things..." "I hate that you won't leave me and Kelly alone!" "Luke, that does not count!" "That still has to do with Kelly." "I hate that at breakfast you become 'Cranky Corey?" "[Corey chuckling]" "Other than that, I really love you." "I really love you too, man." "If you did you wouldn't have done what you did to me today!" "It's only because I know Kelly isn't the right girl for you." " How would you Know?" " Because I Know you!" "You've never been in a serious relationship in your life." "You don't know what it's like to lose a girl you love." "Wait, dude, that's not true, man." "That's not fair." "What?" "Who?" "Samantha Cooper." "Dude, that was in, like, grade 4." "It doesn't make it any less real, man." "I think I really loved her, and then she just up and moved to Florida with her family." "Couldn't do anything about it." "It's OK, man." "I know what it's like to lose." "I lost the girl..." "I love." "I was gonna marry her." "Dude, Luke, seriously..." "You're trippin' balls right now." "You do not want to marry..." "Yes, I do!" "I want a family!" "You do not want a family." "You're too young for that!" "I'm too young?" "Might be!" "But we were too young!" "It wasn't fair that we never got to have a family like other people!" "It's you and me, man." "We have a family." "It's always been you and me." "I'm just tired of this..." "I'm gonna hug the wall." "You hug the wall, and we'll be hugging the wall together..." " OK?" " All right." " Are you doin' it?" " I'm doin' it, man." "I think I can feel it." "I can feel it too." "I can feel the connection." "God..." "Somebody really needs to kick your ass." "This bullshit." "[laughs]" "Sit down!" "Are you alive?" "Just, you Know, you're just sittin' there." "I was drugged today!" "But aren't you pissed off what he did to ya?" "We already made up." "We're cool." " That's bullshit." " I'm high." "Ah, just..." "Just shut up with the whole high thing." "You know what..." "How am I gonna get Kelly to take me back?" "Did you ever think about that?" "You Know, the brother bonding thing doesn't work when you do shitty things to each other." "I don't give a shit, how crazy you guys are..." "The crazy shit you do." "I don't care." "As long as you're good to each other, and you're good to other people," "I don't give a shit." "It's OK with me." "But you hurt your brother tonight." "And how do you think your parents would have felt about that?" "How do you think your dad would have felt about you drugging your brother?" "How do you think your mom would feel, even about you letting him get away with this?" "I shouldn't have done it to you." "Would you just..." "come alive, man?" " What do you want me to do?" "!" " Hit him!" "Hit him in the face!" "I already did that." "[speaking Russian] [door squeaks open]" "Misha, Misha..." "Ahh!" "[speaks Russian]" "Hey, man, thanks." "Yes, sir." "You can't be in such a hurry to make things happen with Kelly." "It takes time." "To become..." "the kind of a man..." "That, uh, can truly become a great..." "Father, and husband, you know..." "But I'm doin' all these things, right?" "I want to be that guy for her." "You and Kelly..." "Both need to focus..." "On yourselves right now." "Because neither one of you is ready to make that kind of commitment." "Believe you me." "All right?" "Because in relationships, my friend, things just...happen." "And, you Know, are you gonna be the Kind of a guy who's gonna stick around for the good stuff..." "The bad stuff, the ugly stuff..." "It can get messy sometimes." "But men don't leave." "Hey, Kelly..." "Can I come in?" "Be my guest." "What do you want?" "I like your setup here..." "it's nice." "You came to talk to me about my setup?" "Come on." "I don't think you're being very fair to Luke." "Oh?" "I'm not being fair to Luke?" "Didn't you just drug him?" "Yes." "That is why I have come here to tell you that you should give him another chance." "Corey..." "You're not gonna find another guy as good as Luke." "He's not ready." "If you give him the chance..." "I'm not ready." "Please talk to him then." "Just don't end it like that." "Don't do that to him." " Because..." " Is there anything else?" "I am sorry." "You...you're apologizing?" "I am apologizing because the way" "I've been treating you has been unacceptable." "Um, apology accepted." "Thank you." "Hey, uh..." "I like your paintings." " Get out." " I'm interested." "Like, what's the art..." " Out." " OK, I'll leave." "Thank you for your time." "I like that one, by the way." "[band plays, people chattering]" "OK, come on, dude." "Even I think that's excessive." "Shut up, Corey." " Hey." " Hey." "Costume like that, you could raise the dead." "[both laughing]" " That was funny." " Thank you." "Corey used the exact same line on me last year," "Wearing the exact same douche bag costume." "He did?" "Yeah..." "And it didn't work then." "But I'm..." "I'm Frankenstein." "Dude?" "I'm sorry, bud, not her." "You gotta tell me stuff like that." "Or her..." "Or her." "What?" "!" "Read chapter 11." "Dammit!" "Hey, Luke." "I heard you were coming as a cowboy, so I came as an Indian." "Gross." "I'm sorry?" "So good to see you." "Uh, thanks." "Dad and I were wondering if you're still coming to the wedding tomorrow?" "Wedding?" "I'm not ready to go to any weddings." "Luke, I'm trying here, OK?" "You know cowboys hate Indians?" "Didn't know that was the point." "Does it matter?" "Yes, it does." "If this was 100 ago, I'd probably kill you." "Well, I'm just trying to say I'm sorry, OK?" "Apology accepted." "I'm glad we're not together." "Am I right, Corey?" "I think you should talk to him when he's sober." "Why would you get this drunk, Luke?" "Like I even knew you'd be here." "So it doesn't matter anyways." "That was a stupid thing you just did, bro." "Fuck you, Corey." "You look like a gay vampire with AIDS." "Yes, I do." "Oh... my..." "God..." "Don't make this harder than it already is." "You liar!" "You do like Twilight." "You know I hated that movie." "Then why are you dressed as a vampire?" "[sighs]" "I, uh..." "I want to be your Edward." "♪" "♪ You made me feel brand new ♪" "♪ You're building me up now ♪" "♪ Always willing to help out ♪" "♪ It gets me through... ♪" "Oh, God!" "Oh!" "Luke, Luke, Luke!" "You OK?" " Hey!" " Hey, buddy..." "Wake up." " You can see your brother now." " Huh?" "You can see your brother now." "All right, thank you." "[monitor beeping]" "[alarm beeps]" "I love her, man!" "Well, that can't be good." "♪" "Kelly..." " Kelly!" " Luke?" "Ahh!" "Son, are you OK'?" "!" "Luke!" "Did you just trip me, dude?" "What are you doing here?" "!" "I need to talk to you." "I need..." "Hey, hey, hey..." "Whoa, whoa..." "Calm down, calm down..." "George, I'm calm." "I'll let you talk to her, all right?" "Luke, can you get out of here?" "Let him speak." "Hi, Luke!" " Hi, Maggie." " Can this wait?" "You smell like my mommy." " I'm not drunk." " Stop it." "I'm not drunk." "Can you please just go?" "I'm sorry about last night." "I was drunk." " You're still drunk." " That doesn't matter." "I was just sad." "Well, I'm sorry, but this is not the time!" "But he loves you." "What she said." "I want to be for you, what your dad is for your mom." "Please don't." "You deserve it, and I deserve someone as good as you." "Listen, I can't go on without you." "I've been waiting for you my whole life." "I just had to tell you how I feel..." "I love you." "I love you too." "But you gotta go, please." "Please, you gotta go." "Luke..." "Text me..." "We'll go play golf." "Word." "(TV audio) Shifting into fourth, when I was supposed to be in second..." "I actually tripped." "Tastes like... strawberries." "[speaking Russian]" "I'm just here to get my stuff." "Oh, no..." "This won't be necessary." "What?" "You know, I've been watching your people..." "My people?" "Yeah, will and Grace, Zac Efron..." "The pediks." "Could you..." "stop saying pedik?" "Of course, the, um..." "the homosexuals." "It's just. ..so different." "And, uh, even though you are a homosexual man..." "I'm so sorry, and I still love you." "I'm so sorry... [sobbing]" "I love you too, Papa." "Good, good." "Where are we?" "I, um..." "I want to apologize for..." "The way I've treated you, how I've talked to you." "I, um..." "If you do this for me, uh..." "I'll make some changes too." "Because I feel like..." "You know, I've got to take the responsibility here." "No, not all of it." "Well, OK..." "no, you take some." "OK, that'll be good." "[both laugh]" "OK?" "And then, uh, you know, we can be a team again..." "You're my princess." "You're my queen." "Thank you." "Thank you, George." "So just... sweetheart..." "The kids are 100% supportive of this." "And I'll take good care of them." "And, uh..." "It's gonna be fine." "OK?" "Thank you." " I love you." " Thank you." "I love you too." "I love you so much." "♪" "And as we grew older, I knew Luke And I would continue to drift more and more apart..." "Let's finish this beer." "But that is was OK." "It would never make us any less brothers." "As for Kelly she got accepted to this graduate art program in Florence, Italy." "Luke was upset, but he understood..." "Some day. .." "When our parents first started working on our family ale, they wanted to create a beer that would embody the spirit of Left Hand - family." "Well, it took over 20 years, but I'm finally proud to present..." "Our newest beer, Belgian Double." "Frankenstein Family Ale!" "[applause, whistles]" "I love you, man." "I love you too." "Well, boys, you did it." " Thanks, Connor." " Cheers." "Thanks for helping us make it a bar..." "You know, you guys have proved you're not complete idiots." "Oh, thank you!" "I'm so happy to hear we've passed your test." "I don't think you've ever told us that before." "I haven't told you that enough." "I'm telling you that today." "You guys worked hard." "I'm proud of you." "Connor, thank you." "That means a lot." "It does, coming from you." "You Know what?" "You haven't quite been yourself." " You doin' OK?" " Yeah." "These last few months have been really good for me." "He doesn't seem like such a little bitch anymore." "I don't know about that." "Corey..." "Gross." "Connor, you're gonna have to give me two seconds." "See you're drinkin' a milk stout?" "You like the heavy beers, huh?" "Well, there's really no difference between beers." "I mean..." "They all taste the same, you know?" "Wow!" "You are very insightful." "Thanks." "What's your name?" "Derek." "Well, Derek..." "Dear Luke:" "Congratulations on Frankenstein Family Ale." "I'll look for it in the pubs of Europe." "Love, Kelly." "She's hot!" "It's alive.." "It's alive!" "Corey..." "Look who I found." "For us, this beer was just the beginning." "More so than ever before, we had no idea" "Where this life was gonna take us." "But what we did know was that we had each other." "I guess it's all you can ask for;" "And frankly that's all I need..." "Friends that are family and family that are friends." "This beer's to you." "Cheers." "[glasses clink]" "♪ There's no more red wine ♪" "♪ Benny Beats left Jack Daniels behind ♪" "♪ Didn't Know what time it was ♪" "♪ I Knew that I had somewhere to go ♪" "♪ Just then she told me ♪" "♪ I was about to be late for that show ♪" "♪ Tell me what am I gonna do ♪" "♪ Can it mean that this love is through ♪" "♪ Tell me what am I gonna do ♪" "♪ With a little girl like you... ♪" "♪" "♪ Don't take from me ♪" "♪ Things I'll return to you for free ♪" "♪ Don't cause no trouble ♪" "♪ Don't want no one else bothering me ♪" "♪ Gotta get ahead of the race ♪" "♪ There's a place I gotta be ♪" "♪ Comin' up behind me ♪" "♪ See everything right in front of me ♪" "♪ Tell me what am I gonna do ♪" "♪ Can it mean that this love is through ♪" "♪ Tell me what am I gonna do ♪" "♪ With a little girl like you... ♪" "♪" "♪ Tell me what am I gonna do ♪" "♪ Can it mean that this love is through ♪" "♪ Tell me what am I gonna do ♪" "♪ With a little girl like you... ♪" "♪" ".srt Subtitles Dan4Jem, XI.AD.MMXII"