"Morning." "Morning, baby." "Coffee." "Oh, gimme a sip." " Hey, that's good." " Good." "Hey, hey, hey..." " I love you." " I love you, too." "You better hurry or you're gonna be late." "Okay." "Jesus." "That was fuckin' awesome." "It's like I couldn't hold it." "I mean... it was was gonna come out no matter what." "Fuck." "Damn, I'm good." "Uh huh, you know you're good, don't you?" "Well, when you like doin' somethin' you just wind up gettin' good at it." "I can't help that I'm a hot fuck." "Get off of me." "God, what time is it?" "7:30 am?" "I didn't think 7:30 in the morning existed." "I thought it was like a myth or something." "I'd really love to see you again." "Well..." "I gots to get dressed." "And I gots to go." "What?" "I got somewhere I gotta be." "An early meeting?" "Yeah." "That'll do." "Well, you're gonna call me, right?" "Why?" "If you wanted to-- You know" "If I wanna see you later, I'll find you online." "You'll be there." "Do you even remember my name?" "Of course I do." "It was HOTTWINKBOTTOM, right?" "No, not on the computer." "I mean my real name." "My real name is Morgan." "Oh." "Okay." "Later." "Honey, can you get the newspaper?" "." "It's next to your briefcase, babe." "Thanks," "What are you doing today?" ""The View," and then Charlie's coming over, and then I'm gonna hang out with Gordy for a little bit, then "Judge Judy." Should I go on?" "Such a busy man." "I'll be needing some more of those pens if you don't mind swinging by OfficeMax." "I've used up the last of those." "Not like the ones at the office" "I know, I know." "Not ballpoint, but flair tips." "And black not blue." "Yes." "And can you do that during your Judge Judy?" "Ha, ha." "Very funny." "No, I can't." "I'll do that during Dr. Phil." "Thanks." "I'll see you at noon." "Okay." "Ben..." "Can you look at me for a second?" "Have a good day." "I left some money for you on the kitchen counter in case you need anything." "If you need anything else, just call me on my cell." "Okay." "I love you." "I love you, too." "Disgusting." "Let me in!" "Let me in!" " Hey, girl." " Hey, ho." "Kiss, kiss." "You mind if I check on my email?" "My computer sucks ass." "Yeah, sure, c'mon." " Where's daddy?" " He's at work." "Where she belongs, right?" " Oh, hey, guess what!" " What?" "I got that new laptop." "Oh, bitch, you're shitting me." "Is it the one you wanted?" " Of course." " Whore." "How much did it cost?" "Four fucks, three blowjobs, two rimjobs, and..." "A partridge in a pear tree." "I get your old one, don't I?" "Oh, fuck you." "You know I got way too much porn on that." "Exactly!" "Alright, look, you can use it this time but I want you to wipe off the keyboard - 'cause I don't want to hear the keys crunch again when I press them." "No worries, trash." "I have my one-handed typing system down like a pro." "The sticky one never touches." "Rosario, get that, would you?" "Thank you." "Hey!" "Here you go." "Oh, thanks." "Which ones are these?" ""Lords of Acid" and "The Two Sarahs."" "Ben, come here!" " Who's that?" " That's Charlie." "Do you know Charlie?" "I don't think so." "Come here." "Oh, my God." "Guess what." "Ho, Gordy." "Gordy, Ho." " Hi." " Hi." "I'm Charlie." "You know, you look familiar." "Have we met before?" "I don't think so." "Mutual friend or something." "Anyway, check this out." ""Are You Invited?" "Private sex party tonight." "10 PM till ?" "..." "Above average, hot guys only." "Height and weight proportionate only." "Address will be sent via email at 9:30 PM." "PNP-friendly." "Ten dollar donation at the door."" "Wanna go?" " You going?" " Hell, yeah!" "You know, I think I've been to one of their parties before." "Total booty buffet!" "And what about you-know-who?" "Helen?" "Excuse me!" "Do you know my life?" "My deep and intense conversations and negotiations that the two of us have had in the strictest of confidence?" "Are you in my shoes?" "Do you have my morals?" "Or lack thereof." "Precisely." "You don't know." "And like I always say," "If it was your business, you would know." "So, don't worry about me, baby." "So, who's Helen?" "That's his girlfriend." "Helen Bedd." "She performs down at the Cockpit." "Oh, hey, by the way - has she gotten the chop yet?" "No, but she's still thinking about it." " God, what a waste." " I know." "She's gonna have such a deep vagina." "Well, anyway, she's performing tonight at the club, so I'm a free bird." "What she don't know can't hurt me." "So, do you wanna go?" "Yeah, why not?" "I don't have any other plans." "But, you know what?" "You cannot watch me have sex." "You gotta stay at the opposite side of the room." "I was just gonna walk up to you in the middle of somethin' nasty, look at you and say," ""Atta girl!"" "Yeah, you do that and I'll make a farting sound while you're fucking someone." "Hello?" "Hey, Mondo, what's up?" "Okay, fine." "I'll stay away from your nakedness." "Charlie's here too." "He just got the email." "I know." "Are you gonna go?" "Really?" "What about Jason?" "So, you're going to the party and you're gonna cheat on your boyfriend?" "Okay, now, let's define cheating." "Sleeping with someone while being in a relationship with someone else." "Have you ever heard about that theory about the tree falling in the woods?" "And if there's no one around to hear it, how do you know it made a sound?" "So, as long as nobody says anything - it didn't happen." "How do you wanna do this then?" "Okay, we'll see you then." "Okay." "Mondo and Jason are coming." "Jason's coming?" "Oh, my God!" "How long have those two been together?" "I don't know." "Like, six months?" "Damn!" "And they're already open?" "See, that's the kind of relationship I need to have." "I got my in-house mangina and my out-house fuckbuddy." "Throw in a bathhouse membership and a wet bar and I'm yours." "You wanna go?" "Yeah, right." "I don't think so." "You seeing someone?" " No, he's not." " Shut up." "Sounds like some drama." "Spill." "If it was your business, you'd know." "Bitch." "I like her." " What's her drama?" " I'll slap you, Ben." "Is he fucking around on you, Gordo?" "It's Gordy." "Gordo, just dump him and get out of your misery." "Let him go." "Let it flow." "When the plane gets too heavy, let loose some baggage." " Just tell him." " I don't wanna talk about it." "You never do." "His boyfriend dumped him so he could fuck around." "Fuck you, Ben!" "That's not why." "We're taking a break." "It's not for him to fuck around." "You deserve better than that, Gordy." "You're shitting me!" "She's out getting her some fresh poonany?" "Shut the hell up!" "That's not why-- Ben, stop it!" "I'm not playing with you." "Somebody in this room is dick-motized." "No, I'm not!" "Sometimes people need space." "I was being too clingy." "I was suffocating him and he was gentleman enough to tell me so." "He's not doing it to fuck around." "He'll come back when he's had his space." " I can just see it now." " Leave him alone, Charlie." "Hi, baby." "I miss you so much while my dick is deep in this boy's ass." "Can I come by after I blow my load all over his hair?" "Love ya." "I mean it." "Bye." "Now, take it, bitch!" "It's not funny." "Ben!" "He's not doing it to fuck around." "He said he needed some space, and I can understand that." "I admire him for that." "That's how mature he is." "He loves me that much." "Nothing else is going on!" "Nothing at all!" "He's not a good person, Gordy." "Oh, I'm sorry if love is supposed to be someone taking care of me financially, Ben." "I thought it had a little to do with actual emotions." "And I thought love was not going to trashy, disease-filled sex parties with boys that are into "PNP" behind my boyfriend's back." "And if that is love..." "I think I'd rather rot in loneliness." "Enjoy the CDs, Ben." "Well, clutch the pearls." "No, he's cool." "He's just nuts about that guy." "What can you do?" "Get laid at a "PNP" sex party - that's what." "Did you read this part?" "No." "Great." "Well, I'm going to the gym." "I've gotta go work out too." "I'm getting so fat." "I'm not gonna go lift weights." "I'm just gonna go and put holes in the shower curtains." " Get out of here." " Later." " Honey?" " I'll be right there!" "How's work today so far?" "Busy." "I won't be home until later tonight." "I've got a client who wants me to check out her dining room and she's not available until after work" "There you go." "You should enjoy that." "It's chicken." "There's fried rice and an egg roll." "I want you to eat every bit of that because I've been slaving on it in the kitchen all day." "Take out?" "Yeah." "You didn't get anything for yourself?" "I'm not hungry." "You ate all the chips, didn't you?" "They were half the fat." "Like you need to worry about your weight." "Any plans tonight?" "I was thinking about going to a party with Charlie and some other guys." "That's good." "You need anything?" "No, I'm fine." "Okay." "Hope you have a good time." "Thanks." "Oh, I forgot your drink." "Hang on one second." "Are they serious?" "Look at it this way." "The chances are better that only hot guys will be there." "What are you guys talking about?" "There's a screening process." "We gotta send them a picture of us and they send an invite to the ones that make the cut." "That's crazy." "So, now what?" "Take pictures." "You have a digital camera, right?" "Hang on." "Baby..." "are you okay?" "Are you nervous?" "Just a little." "I'll be fine." "We don't have to do this." "Just say so and we won't." "So, Ben's gonna see you naked?" "I told you we messed around a couple of times when we first met - way before you" "I know." "You just messed around a bit." "Nothing more." "That's right." "So, he's already seen me naked." "Okay?" "Unless you wanna take the picture." "We can have Ben wait in the other room." "No." "We're about to go to a party, right?" "There's gonna be more than that going on." "I might as well warm up to it." "That's true." "If you get uncomfortable tonight, just tell me." "I know." "Just take care of me." "I will, baby." "Okay." "Let's do it." " Great." " I'm first?" "I guess just stand over there" "Mondo, shut up." "Hang on." "There you go!" "Could you hold this for me?" "Thanks." "Wait till I say snap, okay?" "Snap." "All right." "We got it." "Cool." "Who's next?" " Baby, you go." " Me?" "I don't know what to do." "You go." "Just take the picture." "It's fine." "Mondo" "I've already seen your ass, so you can be first." "C'mon." "Mondo?" "What do you want me to do?" "Well, the email says a fullbody, nude pic." "I guess the first thing to do is get naked." "Look, if you're uncomfortable, Jason," "I can turn around." "Now what?" "Okay..." "Turn this way a little more." "We'll get the best light that way." "Now, when I tell you to I want you to take a really deep breath in and let the air out real slow." "What does that do?" "It gonna make your abs look really tight." "Trust me - with the light showing and your abs tight, everyone's gonna want you." "Cool." "Cool." "Ready?" "Deep breath in." "Let it out." "Keep going, keep going." "Baby, just move your hands." "Stop, stop." "Uh, yeah..." "You...just look really nervous... down there." "I mean, I can see that you're above average, but they're gonna think that you got a really..." "Can you..." "play with it a little bit?" "You want me to make him hard?" "No, not hard... just a little more...showy." "Mondo, do you mind if I help him?" "Sure." "Baby, is that" "You don't mind, do you, Jason?" "There we go." "That's a little better." "Okay, one, two, three." "Ooooh!" "Did I walk into some Sean Cody or something?" "Hi, Mondo." "How are you?" "How you doin'?" "What's up, ho?" "Sugar baby." "Hot boys everywhere." "I can't believe y'all got started without me." "Hi, I'm Charlie." "You must be Mondo's latest victim" "I mean - flavor of the month." "Hi." "Nothing's goin' on." "We're just taking pictures." "Mmm hmm." "What for?" "The party has a screening process - and you're next." "They already got my picture on file." "Anyway, I have to get to the shower." "I just got back from the gym." "Correction" " I just got back from some hot boy's house that I met at the gym." "I still have a scent of afterglow on me." "I'll be right back." "Slut." "Thank you." "[doorbell rings]" "Can I hang out with you guys?" "I don't wanna be home by myself." "Phone call?" "Come on in." "So, you thought that was hot?" "Ben making me hard?" "Why?" "Did you not?" "Answer my question." "You're not answering mine either." "Did you not?" "I asked first." "Yeah." "I thought it was kinda hot." "Me, too." "Are you lying to me, Baby?" "No." "It thought it was hot." "We've been talking about playing with other guys for a while now." "I thought we were cool." "Are you getting cold feet?" "If you are, that's fine." "We don't have to do this." "We'll only do what we're both comfortable with." "I told you I'd take care of you, right?" "Yeah." "And I will." "I promise." "Do you wanna go home?" "We can go home." "We'll make up a story to tell Ben and we can go home and get some ice cream, watch your favorite Three's Company boxset one after another and just veg out." "You don't wanna do that." "No, I don't..." "But I will for you." "No..." "I'm cool." "I'm ready." "I'm just a little nervous, that's all." "So am I." "Just remember that no matter where we are at the party, we'll find each other... and we'll wink." "My wink will mean I'm thinking about you and I can't wait for it to be over so it's just you and I again." "What about you?" "My wink will mean..." "Your arms around me would feel much better than whatever I'm doing." "Now, let me finish sucking this boy's cock." "Hey..." "I love you." "I love you, too." "Look who's joining us." "Is that okay?" "Who goes out there?" "Is that Gordo I hear?" "." "Yeah." "Stay in there and finish washing your dirty ass." "So, you decided to join the party?" "He's not going - Is he?" "What if I am?" "Well, if Gordo got an invite I'm not so sure I wanna go." "I mean, what would the people be like?" "You know, it's funny." "I can almost see the duct tape over that filthy mouth." "You ever been to one of these before, Gordo?" "Yes...hundreds." "I'm not so sure you have." "You can think whatever you want." "I don't care." "Why don't you take a picture of your body to see if you're accepted?" "Charlie, he's" "No, I'm going, Ben." "You are?" "Yeah." "Gordy..." "It has to be a fullbody nude pic." "Yeah, full body..." "and nude." " Shy?" " No." " Embarrassed of your body?" " Not at all." "Should be." "I happen to be very comfortable with my body... and my full head of hair." "You wanna do it here or somewhere else?" "Somewhere else, please." "No." "Right here." " Really?" " Yeah." "You sure?" "Yeah..." "I'm sure." "Panties, too." "[banging on door]" "Jason, can you get that?" "Okay." "Anyone else coming?" "I didn't invite anyone else." "Did you?" "No." "Not me." "Me, either." "CHARLIE!" "Oh, shit!" "Helen!" "Sweetness, I'll be right down!" "Sweetness!" "Hi!" "I just got out of the shower after a long, non-sexual, productive day." "Ben, get the ax!" "Oh, no." "Fuck you, fuck this!" "Fuck all y'all!" "Bitch is not gonna go down like that!" "I don't ask much from you, girl." "Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?" "!" "Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any other drag queen at the club?" "!" "Honey, I don't know what you're talking" "God damn!" "There I was, backstage in all my fierceness, looking utterly immaculate." "The MC says to the audience," ""Please welcome to the stage the fierce Miss Helen Bedd."" "I walk out and "Black Velvet" is playing." "All of a sudden the audience lines up to tip me." "Before you know it, I have a whole wad of money in my hand." "Then out of the corner of my eye" "I spot a little twink with a twenty." "I walk over to him, and I lean down and he whispers something in my ear." "Sweet nothings?" "You love it, don't you?" "!" "You love making me hit you!" "Fuck no, you faggot!" "He whispers in my ear that my man's going to a sex party tonight." "And I think to myself, that is a lie!" "There's no way that my man would do such a thing to me." "He loves me." "He would never cheat on me." "Especially since I've been taking care of his ass for the last 5 months." "I work and I work until I'm half dead and I hear them say," ""She's getting old."" "And what do I get?" "A boyfriend that could care less about me than some sex party!" "Helen, that is not true." "Maybe just a little true." "He did tell me he was going to a party tonight with his friends." "True, he is going to a party." "True, he is going with his friends." "But I never thought to ask if it was a sex party." "It never even crossed my mind." "That would mean that Charlie was the king - or should I say the queen - of withholding information." "And withholding information is the same as lying." "So does that make Charlie a liar?" "Maybe." "But I know this town only has room for one queen." "As I was thinking of all this" "I realized I was on stage...frozen." "The music had stopped." "The audience was gawking at me." "The DJ comes over and says," ""Helen, honey, do you need a doctor?"" "And I was frozen, Charlie, just frozen!" "Me, Helen Bedd, the fierce Helen Bedd, just frozen on stage - and there was a reporter." "A reporter, Charlie!" "You know how important that was to me." "And all I could do was run off the stage!" "I mean, I ran off fabulously and dramatic - but still all I could do was run." "And so here I am and I'm damn mad!" "Helen, I think you're overreacting." "I think you're under-reacting, Charlie!" "Helen..." "You're right." "You figured it out." "I was going to a..." "sex party tonight." "I should've been honest with you in the first place and told you whole truth." "Thank you..." "Thank you for making me see the light that is Helen Bedd." "Come here, Pumpkin-etta." "Helen, you gotta stop this!" "Ben, please!" "Please, Ben!" "You know what, Charlie?" "If I wasn't a fuckin' lady I'd 'single white female' your ass right now!" "It's pretty pathetic when a boy in a pair of heels, a fabulous frock and a divine do has bigger balls and is much more of a man than you will ever be." "So you just go to your little sex party and fuck all the boys you want, 'cause I tell you what..." "You will never find a sweeter piece of ass than mine!" "She'll take me back." "Don't fuck with me, faggots!" "This ain't my first time at the drag show!" "I'm not mad at you, Ben." "I'm mad at the dirt." "Jesus Christ." "Anderson, is that you, honey?" "Yeah." "I'll be there in a second." "I'm pouring myself a drink." "I'll be in my room." "Okay, the pics have been sent." "How long before we know?" "." "I don't know." "They just said to send pictures and they would reply with an invite." "I'll be right back." "My husband's here." "Great." "Hey, hon." "How was the rest of your day?" "Busy." "What time's your party?" "It's like at ten or eleven." "Who all is going?" "Charlie's gonna go," "Gordy might go." "Mondo and Mondo's new boyfriend, Jason." "Do you need anything?" "No, I'm fine." "You hungry?" "Not really." "I might fix something a little later." "By the way - how was that woman's dining room you told me about?" "It's gonna take a lot of work." "But we can do it." "No, you can do it." "So, are they gonna have condoms and lube and supplies there?" "What do you mean by supplies?" "You know." "Like drugs?" "No." "Well, not really a drug." "Then what?" "Poppers." "You don't do poppers when you have sex?" "That is so a drug." "No, it's not." "It's video head cleaner." "Usually found right next to the leather wristbands." "It is a drug." "I don't think it's a drug." "It's sold over the counter." "I agree." "It gives you a high." "It destroys your brain cells just like any other drug." "Oh, who needs brain cells?" "Boys, I brought some." "I have like five, six bottles." "What's funny is I didn't pay for one." "Just random tricks left them at my house." "How much do they cost?" "Anywhere from ten to fifty dollars - just depends on how strong you want them." "You guys sound like drug dealers." "I'm gonna Google it." "All right, boys, I got Blue Boy," "Pig Sweat, Thrust, Ram," "Jungle Juice, Jungle Juice Platinum" "Poppers." "Poppers are small bottles filled with liquid chemicals called alkyl nitrites." "They were used at the turn of the century for people suffering from chest pains" "Sorry." "My chest pains." "That's why I use them." "It's also why I smoke weed - because of my glaucoma." "Nitrites dilate the blood vessels and allow more blood to enter the heart." "They're usually sniffed from a bottle and deliver a short, sharp high." "Poppers are sold in clubs, sex shops and gay bars." "See?" "Not a drug." "There's more." "Hold on." "The effects:" "An initial head rush that lasts a couple of minutes" "I know that's right." "Head rush - drugs!" "Sniffing poppers during sex can make orgasms feel like they last longer." "That's true for me." "And some people say it makes their sexual organs feel massive." "May help relax anal sphincter muscles." "There you go, Gordy." "Relax those sphincter muscles." "But there is a flip side." "The effects don't last long and can leave people feeling sick, faint and weak." "Especially if taken while dancing." "See?" "Some people say they have trouble getting an erection after sniffing poppers." "I've never had that problem." "Poppers can give you headaches." "Some people get a rash around their mouth." "There you go, Charlie." "So, it wasn't a cold sore after all." "Poppers aren't physically or psychologically addictive." "There you go." "I know some people who can't have sex without them." "Jason, you're being very quiet over there." "What do you think?" "I don't know." "Mondo likes to do them when we have sex." "I don't know if he needs to do them." "I don't need to do them." "You do them, too?" "I didn't before I met Mondo." "They're okay." "I don't know." "What did I miss?" "Poppers." "Drugs or not?" "Those are totally drugs." "I love them." "Who has some?" "Charlie does." "Is that Anderson that came in?" " Yeah." " And?" "And what?" "He's cool with me going to the party." "Does he know what type of party it is?" "No, but if he asks I'll tell him." "What are we waiting on anyway?" "The invites." "Ben, an email just came in." "I'm in." "It says that they love my pics and that they'll send the address around 10 p.m." "Cool." "No one answered my question." "What's provided at this party?" "Ask Charlie." "She goes to them all the time." "I'm not too sure what they're going to have there." "Not sure about the poppers." "But I do know they'll have lube." "I myself am partial to ID." " Doesn't matter to me." " Me, either." "I don't care what kind of lube they have as long as they have extra sensitive rubbers, or my ass will get really sore." "A proud, self-proclaimed bottom." "Gotta love it." "I like getting fucked." "You know that." "What's wrong with that?" "Nothing." "Without bottoms you can't have tops." "And two tops does not a bottom make." "Thank you." "So, Gordo, what are you?" "None of your business." "Bottom." "Think what you want." "What are you?" " Top here." " With that swish?" "Look, bitch." "Have I ever been fucked?" "Yes." "Did I enjoy it?" "Maybe because the guy that was fucking me was enjoying it." "But did I get physical pleasure out of it?" "No." "Could I be versatile?" "Yes." "Would I prefer to?" "No." "Could I go for the rest of my life without ever being fucked again?" "Yes." "I consider myself a versatile top." "I like to do both, but I prefer to top." "Right, Ben?" "Not with me you weren't." "Shut up, Charlie." "You bottomed for him?" "Hell no." "Mondo, don't lie." "We tried once, but it didn't work." "He's kinda big." "Still counts as bottoming." " Whatever." " You never told me that." "Because I didn't count it as bottoming." "We stopped in the middle because it hurt." "It doesn't hurt as much with you, baby." "Maybe because he's not as big." "Shut up, ho." "You don't like it when you bottom for me?" "Yes, I do." "I just prefer to top." "I didn't know that, either." "I mean, I like that you're the one topping me and I take pleasure in that But do I think," "I can't wait for Jason to fuck me?" "Not really." "I'm just being honest here." "Okay." "Five months into the relationship and finally the honesty is coming out." "So, Gordo?" "What are you?" "I'm not saying." "We'll find out later tonight anyway." "I say bottom." "For your information, I've never bottomed before." "What?" "Yeah." "No big deal." "Oh, you too have been fucked." "Never." "I'm not like you, Charlie." "I can probably count the guys I've been with on one hand." "So can I...for today." "So, Gordy." "What have you done?" "One of them, we just kissed." "Two of them, we just played around." "And two of them was actual intercourse, but I was the top." "Ahh." "Now he thinks he's a top." "I'm not saying that." "I think that if I were to get fucked once" "I'd probably become a bottom... but I just haven't." "I don't know." "If you are gonna get fucked tonight, do you know the biggest rule in the 'good-bottom etiquette handbook'?" "No, what?" "Come with me." "I know that's right!" "Ain't nothin" worse than dating a Dairy Queen." "Goin' in for some ice cream and pulling' out a dip cone." " That's disgusting!" " Thank you." "Have you ever douched before?" "Hell no!" "When was the last time you took a shit?" "Never!" "Gordy..." "It's time you met the booty bear." "Ohh...grrr." "Oh, well." "No new emails." "Not too bad." "Just stop." "Fine." "So, how's your cheek?" "It's okay." "So, how are y'all doing?" "Good." "And how did we meet?" "We met at the gym." "Mondo was cruising me." "Actually, you were looking at me." "How sweet." "Makes me wanna vomit." "And how long have we been together?" "About what?" "Five months?" "Six months, baby." "And already playing around?" "Is Mondo not doing it for ya?" " Whatever, Charlie." " Just kidding." "Have you two ever played around with other guys before?" "No." "And this doesn't bother you?" "No." "Baby, he's just trying to make you mad." "Did Mondo tell you that he and I did a little group thing once?" "Mondo, you never told me that." "Because it was nothing." "Come on." "We had a blast." "Not only is Charlie disrespectful, he just wants to start some drama." "That's why it didn't work between us." "Oh, please." "It didn't work because I didn't want it to." "Actually, my exact words were " "You're a drama queen, and we're breaking up." "Remember?" "You might have said that." "I really wasn't listening." "And most importantly - I actually love this one." "But is the group thing true?" " Yes." " Yes, it is." "But I promise..." "it was a disaster." "Yes, it was!" "What are you doing?" "I don't want my shirt to get messy." "What?" "This is the booty bear." "It used to be a honey bottle, but not anymore." "This spout on top makes it really easy to insert." "And the gentle squirting pressure" "Gross!" "makes it really easy to insert while you're doing it yourself." "You want me to use yours?" "Gross!" "Is that sanitary?" "I could probably die from that!" "It's clean." "I wash it after each use - with bleach, even." "Who do you think I am?" "Charlie?" "I heard that." "I hope you did, bitch." "Whore." "Are you serious?" "You don't want to have a shitty accident tonight and leave that as your first impression with all these hot guys at the party." "Okay." "What do I do?" "Take your clothes off and get in the shower." "Don't take it off!" "Gordon Rolando Rafael De La Garza Sefuentes?" "The third." "Get your ass in the shower right now." " Turn around." " Why?" "Because I don't want you to see me naked." "I've already seen you naked." "I don't want you to see me naked again." " Why?" " Because of my breasts." "You don't have breasts" "Yes, I do." "You have titties." "They're different." "I didn't say I had titties, you jerk." "Go ahead." "Turn around!" "You're so cute." "That little tushy." "TURN AROUND!" "Mondo, remember that one party we went to?" "Yeah." "No." "Which one?" "The one where the guys were boyfriends and they had that sling room upstairs." "Oh, shit." "Don't remind me." "What happened?" " Tell him." " Hell no!" "Okay, I'll tell him." "Mondo and I go to this one sex party, right?" "And there was this one hot, HOT Latino there." "Yeah, and he turned into a bitter queen because he went for me and not him." "Oh, yeah, that fucker." "Anyway, what's his nuts?" "Let's call him Paco." "Paco and Mondo are getting it on, right?" "What do you mean 'getting it on?" "'" "You know" "We were just playing around." "Yeah, whatever." "Paco's eating Mondo's ass." "So Paco is all up inside of Mondo's ass." "Then Paco starts coughing." "He won't stop coughing!" "He keeps coughing and starts hacking!" "He starts having an asthma attack while eating his ass!" "Mondo jumps up and is like, "Are you okay" "Did something come out?"" "He keeps coughing." "Mondo thought it was his ass!" "What the hell was I supposed to think?" "Everyone in the room just froze and stared at us!" "Nobody would come near Mondo for the rest of the night." "It didn't help what you did, either!" "What did you do?" "This ho, in front of everybody the entire room says," ""That's not the first time he's made someone do that."" "Yes, I did!" "Mondo, we had a good time back then." "Yeah, we did." "Speaking of groups - we need some condoms." "Who's gonna go get some?" "Jason, why don't you go?" "Huh?" "Unless you don't want to." "No, that's fine." "I'll go." "Mondo, you coming with me?" "Actually, I kind of wanna stick around here, catch up with Charlie." "Is that okay?" "I'll come if you want me to." "I understand if you have a problem with Mondo and I being alone together." "I mean, look at me." "I am hard to resist." "No, that's okay." "I'll go." "What do we need?" "I guess a twelve pack should be enough for all of us for tonight." "Yeah, whatever." "I'll need a pack for myself." "Magnums, of course." "I'll be right back." "Hey, hey, hey." "I'll miss you." "Bye." "Anyway." "How are you doin' in there?" "I don't know if I'm doing this right." "Do you want me to come in there and help you?" "No!" "Well, maybe." "What's the matter?" "What do you need?" "Hold on." "How do I get..." "in the best..." "Position?" "Yeah." "How are you right now?" "I'm bent over with my head between my legs." "Yeah?" "Hold on." "Remember when we used to have P.E. together?" "." "Yeah." "Remember that one exercise called 'picking cherries'?" " Sure." " I'm like that." "Okay." "And I'm holding the bottle and trying to put it... where it needs to be." "I'm having problems." "Relax." "Forget all that cherry picking shit and just listen." "Get on your hands and knees, doggie style." "Okay." "Now...put your chin on your chest, arch your back and stick your ass way in the air." "Then reach around that way." "Try that." "Okay." "Then what?" "Put the bottle in and squeeze it." "What?" "Put the bottle in your ass and squeeze it!" " I'm confused." " What are you confused about?" "Put the bear in your ass and squeeze it accordingly!" "Okay, hold on." "Wait." "Okay, I got it." "Good." "How does it feel?" "Good." "Now what?" "How do you feel?" "Do you feel full?" "What?" "Have you squeezed it a lot?" "How much do you squish the bear?" "." "Until you're uncomfortable." "You squish it until..." "You know." "Okay." "Now what?" "Now stand over the shower head and just..." "Um, Ben?" "What?" "Nothing's coming out." "I don't know where it went, Ben." "I'm gonna die." "Gordy?" "Yes?" "Did you put water in the bottle?" "Oh, I was supposed to put water in it?" "." "Ben, stop!" "I'm naked!" " I've seen your fat ass naked!" " Oh, my God!" "Hey." "What's up?" "Charlie got an email." "What'cha got there?" "Condoms." "Have you seen him?" "Or Mondo?" "I think they're in the other room." " They're watching TV." " They're eating." " They're eating." " They're watching TV." "Thanks." "Hi." " Hi, Jason." " Hey, baby." "Did you get the condoms?" "Cool." "I was helping Charlie trim his body hair." "You know how the inside of the crack is hardest to get." "It didn't look like trimming to me." "What?" "The kiss?" "That was nothing." "Hello!" "I might be sucking his cock in a few hours anyway... along with a few other boys." "Baby, we were just kissing." "We're on our way to a sex party." "Kissing should be the least of your worries - don't you think?" "I know." "I don't know." "I just know... it just feels weird to walk in and see my boyfriend kissing another guy when I'm not around." "I don't know." "Something about that..." "just isn't right." "It doesn't feel good." "I don't know." "I'll be in the other room while you two work out this married-folk drama." "No." "You're staying." "Excuse me?" "Jason, what are you doing?" "Why do you hate me?" "I don't hate you?" "Well, you sure as hell don't like me." "Jason..." "Of course, I like you." "Then why are you always trying to hurt me?" "Hurt you?" "How?" "." "Your man was kissing on me as much as I was kissing on him." "You need to be having this conversation with him." "You're right." "But you're first." "Why do you deliberately try to make me feel uncomfortable around Mondo?" "I don't have any idea what you're talking about." "Mondo and I happen to have a history together." "One that doesn't include you." "If that makes you very uncomfortable and insecure, that's not my problem." "That's yours." "And if you're gonna get so freaky-deeky about another man touching yours, then how are you gonna be able to go to a sex party where there are gonna be lots of guys there that are going to be kissing on him and having sex with him?" "How in the hell are you gonna handle that?" "For whatever reason, Charlie," "I think I'd be less uncomfortable with Mondo being with other guys than him being with you." "And why is that?" "Because they don't have any other agendas besides getting off." "And I do?" "Baby, just calm down." "I think you do." "And what, may I ask, is that agenda that I have so cleverly and mysteriously concocted?" "You don't want us to be happy." "In fact, I don't think you even want us together." "I don't have to arrange some big, devious, elaborate plot to take your man." "I could do it with a snap of my fingers, but I don't want him." "I've had him and I don't want him back." "What's going on?" "I didn't say you wanted him." "I said you didn't want us together." "Explain, please." "Because of the fact that you're bitter and hateful by not being with anyone - and let's face it, being with Helen wasn't serious in your book or anyone else's - and it makes you wanna see" "every relationship around you fail." "Stop that." "Oh, yes, Jason." "You're so right." "I want a boyfriend so bad so I can have him throw little jealousy tantrums around my friends." "I want that whole couple-drama of phone calls, checking in, the mundane repetition, that same piece of ass every single day." "Going to work, coming home, eating, television, then going to bed." "You're right, Jason." "I want that so bad." "You do!" "You do want that, Charlie!" "Every single one of them!" "And if you can't have them you don't want me to either - or anyone else!" "You know what, Jason." "You're really starting to piss me off!" "Mondo, you might want to put your wife back in line before I bitch-slap her ass." "Do it and get your fucking ass kicked!" "Stop!" "I won't go down without a fight!" "I'm scared now, bitch!" "You're gonna be scared, bitch!" "You're just another homewrecker, Charlie." "One of those pathetic motherfuckers who can't do anything but take other people's men because they're so unhappy and alone!" "And you're just the perfect couple." "You think you need me to break you guys up?" "You're in the H.O.V. lane to Break Up City, boy." "Only six months... and Mondo's already tired of fucking just you." "He needs to fuck strange boys to keep him satisfied." "Right, Mondo?" "I'll be in the other room, boys." "Why didn't you say anything?" "What do you mean?" "All that stuff he just said." "Why didn't you say anything?" "I don't know." "What was I supposed to say?" "Is it true?" "Is what true?" "What he said about you being tired of me." "Baby, of course not." "Charlie's just trying to make you upset and get under your skin." "Don't let him do that." "Why do you wanna go?" "Jason..." "We've already talked about this." "I'm not gonna go over it again." "You're upset because of what happened with Charlie." "Don't take that out on me." "We already talked about it." "What if I don't wanna go?" "What?" "I told you." "We won't go." "Are you changing your mind?" "We can go tell the guys we changed our minds and they can go without us." "They won't even miss us." "I mean, we haven't even been invited yet anyway." "Hey, guys." "Sorry." "Just wanted to let you know we got another email." "You're both in." "Don't let Charlie ruin our night, okay?" "I love you." "Mondo, l" "C'mon." "Let's go get ready." "[cell phone rings] [cell phone rings]" "Hello?" "What do you want, Jon?" "Yeah." "I'll meet with you." "I'm at Ben's place." "Okay, I'll see you in a few." "Bye." "Who was that?" "It was Jon." "So, what?" "He wants to talk?" "Ben, please don't say anything." "I'm confused enough as it is." "You're wasting your time with him." "You're my friend and I can't let you go through that shit with him again." "I mean, he's just gonna use you like he always does and then leave you for someone else." "I didn't say I was gonna take him back." "But you will!" "And that's my business, Ben!" "Thank you for caring... but I think I'll handle it from here." "When's he getting here." "In the next few minutes." "Are you ready to talk to him?" "I don't know." "You okay?" "Of course not." "He breaks up with me because he says he needs some space." "I'm trying to do the right thing and give him what he wants." "He wants you back." "I don't know." "He's gonna leave you." "Do you wanna go through that shit with him again?" "Honestly... he's the man of my dreams." "Oh, my God!" "That's pathetic." "I know..." "But if I could look through every magazine and pick out the best part from every man, put them together and create one... that's Jon." "Every one of my tastes and attractions pulls me directly toward him." "And he doesn't wanna be with you." "Or does he?" "And if he does, do I wanna take him back?" "I wanna know that he wants to be with me." "Not be with me because he's tired of looking." "Ben..." "I don't know what to do." "Don't see him again." "What if?" "What if...he's changed?" "What if he knows what it's like to not be with me and decided he wants to take me back?" "I slept with him." "Excuse me?" "I'm telling you this because I know for a fact that he's not good for you." "I mean, what kind of a guy would do that?" "What kind of a guy would sleep with your friends." "You slept with Jon?" "I know, I know." "It's horrible." "I shouldn't have done it, but he put me in that situation." "That's his fault." "We were both really drunk and he came up to me and said he always thought I was so hot" "What about you, Ben?" "I would expect this from Jon." "He's a fucked up child that can't decide what the hell he wants and he doesn't care about anybody else's feelings but himself!" "But what about you?" "What kind of friend are you to do that to me?" "I'm always there for you, Gordy" "I do things for you all the time." "Don't ask me what kind of a friend I am." "And technically, you weren't together." "You'd already broken up." "It's not about that." "It's totally about that." "I didn't do anything wrong." "If you guys were together, I never would have thought about that, but you weren't." "You broke up days before." "And that makes it all right to you?" "Yes!" "Oh, my God, Ben." "Why would you fuck Jon?" "He doesn't have any money." "Okay." "Let's get technical about this, Gordy." "I mean, can you blame him for sleeping with me?" "I mean, look at me..." "and look at you." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean it." "Get off me!" "I'm not mad that you slept with Jon." "I'm upset...that you slept with someone that I loved." "It's not about being together or any of that shit." "It's about respect." "I wouldn't do that to you, Ben." "But you know, you're right." "You're a hot guy." "You are." "I mean, you have a relationship." "You found someone that's committed to you." "You have money." "You have a place to live." "You're happy." "Right?" "Gordy, that's not what" "No, wait." "You're happy...right?" "Right." "Then if you're so happy... why the hell are you needing more?" "What's goin' on?" "It's Gordo." "I think his man just showed up." "I wonder what that was about." "Oh, well." "We about ready?" "It's almost time." " Any other emails?" " Nope." "Who's riding with who?" "I've got directions." "Is it time already?" "I've got room in my car for everybody." "Maybe we should ride separately in case somebody wants to leave earlier or stay later." "Mondo and I can ride together." "Cool." "Let's go." " This is so far." " No, it's not." "Mondo..." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Oh, sure." "I'll be right down, guys." "Okay." "Yeah, what's up?" "Hello?" "You okay?" "Yeah..." "You ready?" "Yeah, baby." "Let's go." "Don't go!" "What?" "Don't go." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry..." "Don't go." "Please." "I don't want you to go." "I don't want us to go." "Please?" "What are you talking about?" "What are you doing?" "I can't do it." "I can't see you..." "with someone else." "I can't see you in their arms when they're supposed to be mine." "You're mine." "You're mine." "You're not anybody else's." "Please?" "Can we just stay?" "Or we can go home and sit on the couch and just hold each other." "Please." "I don't want anyone else to hold you." "Please." "Why couldn't you tell me this before?" "We talked about it over and over again, Jason!" "Why now?" "." "We're gonna look like idiots." "This is fucking embarrassing!" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "I was scared." "I was scared of losing you." "I wanted to be into all of the things that you were into..." "so you would like me." "I just wanted you to like me." "I wanted to be everything for you." "Please can we stay?" "Please?" "Why are you telling me this now?" "I don't know, but I'm telling you now." "I don't wanna go." "I don't wanna go." "Remember when you said if I didn't wanna go to just tell you?" "We wouldn't go." "And you would take care of me." "Remember that?" "I'm telling you now..." "I don't want to go." "Mondo..." "Please..." "Please take care of me." "I can't see myself with anybody else but you." "Is that bad?" "No, baby." "It's not bad." "Thank God." "I'm going." "What?" "I'm going." "But, baby, I don't wanna go." "Then you...stay." "No, Mondo." "No!" "Baby, please wait." "Just look at me." "Look at me." "You don't need them." "I'll take care of you" "Stop!" "Mondo!" "Please don't go." "I love you." "Mondo, I love you!" "I said stop it!" "I'm sorry." "Hang on one second, okay?" "Okay." "Gordy, I am so sorry." "I didn't mean that." "I love you." "And I will always be your friend." "Please don't forget that." "Okay?" "You ready?" "I'll catch up with you guys in a minute." " Hey." " Hey." "You okay?" "Huh?" "Oh...yeah." "Let's get out of here." "Did you guys break up?" "I don't wanna talk about it." "Okay." "What I don't get is..." "he breaks up with me, then he says he wants" "Hey." "I thought you didn't wanna talk about it." "You're not very good at this, are you?" "It's all right." "I didn't get an invitation, did I?" "No." "Their loss." "You wouldn't have gone anyway." "It's not your thing." "I'm a good guy." "I mean..." "I have a car, a job, an apartment..." "Oh, I'm sorry." "You have none of that." "No, but I have an invite." "Bitch." "I have a family that loves me, and I have lots of love to give back." "I guess some people just don't want that." "I thought everybody wanted love..." "Except for you, that is." "What do you mean by that?" "All you want is lust." "Sex, sex, sex, me, me, me, fuck, fuck, fuck" "Yeah, yeah, I know what you're talkin' about." "No, you're right." "I think everybody does want love." " Even me." " Yeah?" "The guys I meet out there..." "Maybe it's my fault." "Everybody I know that just wants a hot, sweaty one-night stand." "Oh, can I play my violin now?" "." "Whatever." "It's all well and good, but after a while there's something... something missing." "I don't know." "I don't see myself at home watching those cheesy, romantic movies and they're running down the beach, holding hands, falling in love, or some mushy shit like that..." "I think to myself" " I wonder what that feels like?" "I wonder if that's just a movie thing... or if it's real." "I don't know." "I've never had that before." "But it makes me smile when I think about it." "It's real." "And it feels great." "You all right, sweetie?" "Come sit over here with me." "You are?" "Jason." "That's right" " Jason." "Sit here and watch TV." "Okay." "Ben went to a sex party." "Oh." "You don't care?" "Ben's a big boy." "He can take care of himself." "But you're his boyfriend." "Don't you care?" "He's young and healthy." "He's pretty to look at." "Why shouldn't he have fun?" "I don't see how you can do it." "I can't." "And that's fine, Jason." "No one should ever do anything they're not comfortable doing." "Can I ask you a personal question?" "Sure." "What is it?" "Did you know that everyone calls you Ben's Sugar Daddy?" "I don't mind." "I don't think I am, but it's okay if they call me that." "But you're supporting him, right?" "Yes." "But our relationship is just like any other." "Why are we with someone?" "We're with someone to fulfill a need." "It might be a personality trait, a material object..." "an emotion." "A shy person dates the life of the party." "An artist dates an accountant." "And a man with no family wants nothing more than to take care of someone." "It's all the same." "What if he leaves you for someone else?" "There's nothing you can do to keep someone from leaving you or cheating on you - or falling out of love with you." "All you can do is love yourself." "Be confident... be happy, be yourself." "And when you meet that person, you hope that he sees that confidence, that happiness, and he falls in love with you for all of those reasons." "Everything else is just wasted energy." "You can't control life." "You can try, but you'll fail miserably." "So, we have two options." "We can try and try to work on ways to keep our loved ones, or we can sit back and enjoy the ride." "I can't be okay with my boyfriend being with other people." "I can't do it." "I want him so much." "And it hurts so bad." "It's okay to feel that way." "It is absolutely all right." "No one is asking you to be okay with it." "It's okay to feel the way you do." "You're going to be okay." "I know it hurts." "Just cry it out." "I love you." "I love you, too."