"# It was in your basement apartment # # with all of its earth and sea # # making love on the carpet # # under the light of the TV #" "# Outside the sour moon minstrels # # shook their dark tambourines # # the morning came in sinister # # well window light menacing # # with clouds up above # # and clouds down below # # killing time but it won't stand still #" "# It won't stand still #" " Mike!" "Mike, need you to sweep the pool." " Why?" " Because people want to swim." "# We try so hard #" "# We try so hard to love #" " How you feel today, Ma?" " Feeling great today, Mike." " Good." "Where's Dad?" " Crossword." " Checking out of 202." " And how was your stay, Mr. Edmund?" " Fine, thanks." " Thank you so much." " # I threw my heart into the street #" "# With stars up above #" "# And stars down below #" "# Killing time but it won't stand still #" "# It won't stand still #" "# We try so hard #" "# We try so hard to love #" " So, two nights." " Uh-huh." " Preferably a room upstairs." " Oh, sure." "Let's see..." " Smoking or" " Nonsmoking." " I think I'll put you in 203." " Okay." " Nice room." "This is our snack bar." "List of prices are on the wall." " Sorry." " There you go." "Thank you." "And if" "Uh-huh, thank you." "Anything else you need, just give me a call." " Thank you very much." " You need help with your bags?" " Nope, I'm fine." " 110's called twice to complain that 111's making too much noise." " Yeah, what kind of noise?" " Not that kind of noise, Michael." "Get your mind out of the gutter." "Apparently 111's got some sort of grinder in there." " I thought you said to get my mind out of the gutter." " Don't be gross, Mike." " I'm not." " Get some sleep." "You look tired." " I'm not tired." " You look tired." " You're the one who's sick, Ma." " Well, that's a nice thing to say." " Sorry." " Love you." " Love you too." " Good night, Dad." " All right." " Who is it?" " Management." " What?" " Management, welcome gift." " Hi." " Hi." " I have your complimentary bottle-welcome gift." "Wine, it's on the house." "I'm, oh, Mike, and I am with management." " Nice to meet you, Mike." " Oh, it's my pleasure." "So where would you like it?" " You know what?" "I can just-I can just take it." " Oh, okay." "Do you" "I'm sorry; would you like me to open it for you?" "I mean, yeah, 'cause sometimes guests don't have the screws, corkscrews." " Um..." "Yeah, okay, sure." "Sure." "I'll just put this here." "All right, thanks." "See anything interesting tonight?" " I haven't really been paying attention." " Yeah, I know the feeling." "You know, there should be cups in the bathroom." "Completely sanitary." " That's good." " Wine is delicious." "Oh, man." "God." "Shall I?" " Okay, sure." " This is a good year." "Sometimes guests invite me to join them in a taste." " Is that right?" " I mean, not always, but often." "Should be another cup in the" " I actually have to get to work, Mike, so..." " What do you do?" " I sell paintings." " Really?" "I love paintings." "What kind?" " That kind." " Oh." "Oh, nice." "So that's what you're doing in town." " I have presentations tomorrow, and then I fly out the next morning." " What's the name of the company that you work for?" " It's called Corporate Bliss." " And where are you guys HQ'd?" " Maryland." " Nice." "Wait, "Maryland is for lovers," bumper sticker." " That's Virginia, actually." "Virginia's for lovers." "Maryland's for crabs." " Yeah, you're right." " Okay, Mike." " Okay, I got to get back to work." "Oh, Solitaire's a great game." "Okay, I'm gonna down in the lobby till 11:00 and then in my apartment after that, but always reachable by front-door buzzer, just from then on." "Just in case you need another Solitaire partner." " Okay, have a great night." " Bye-bye." " Then I went to the laundry room, and then I came down here into the lobby, and that's when I realized that your establishment doesn't have any options for recycling." " You're absolutely right." "We don't, which I apologize for." "It's something we're working on." "But as you may know, the Kingman area has been a little slow to fully embrace the recycling issue." "It's been voted on two or three" " So what should I do with this bottle?" " Well..." " I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude." "But this is something that I'm just" "I'm very passionate about." " Recycling?" " Yes, recycling." " I can take it." "I'll do it." "I've just-I'll" "I was gonna make a recycling run anyway, so..." " Well, that's nice of you." "This is my son Michael." "He's the official night manager." " Thank you." "That's very nice of you." " You bet." "I'll just put it back here with all my other ones." "I got a pretty good- big pile going." " Who is it?" " It's Mike." " Oh, my God." " Champagne." " Why?" " We give it to all our guests who stay for two nights." " Wow, that's a pretty good deal." "Did you and your mom come up with that on your own?" " So shall I?" " Why not?" " Observe well." "You know the drill." "The same place, the cups." "Ooh!" " Jeez." "Thank you." " You gonna make a toast, Mike?" " Yeah, sure." "Your Sue, right?" " Yeah." " Here's to people being happy." "Mm." " Ooh." " How were your presentations today?" " Average." " You have a great butt." "I noticed the moment you checked in." " Thank you." " I hope that isn't too, you know." " No, I mean, yeah, but" " Thank you for that." " Do you do this a lot, Mike?" " No." " Sometimes?" " Very rarely." " Does it ever work?" " Never." " What would constitute having it work?" " I don't" " Us having sex?" " No, I don't" " You getting to touch my butt?" " That would" "Yeah, I'd consider that... for the con-constitution." " Hmm." "Okay." "You can touch my butt... but then you got to go." "Okay." " Are you serious?" " Yeah, touch it and go, Mike, just touch and go." " So you're from Maryland?" " Yeah." " Where about?" " Columbia, what about you?" " Here, Kingman." "It's very warm." " Okay, Mike." " Okay." " I got a early plane to catch tomorrow." " Yeah, me too." " Okay." " Bye-bye now." " Yep, bye." " Mom?" "Hi, it's me." "I'm just checking in." "I'm in Kingman, Arizona." "Okay, well, that's it." "I" " I love you, and- and I miss you." "Okay." " Hi, Sue." " Hi." " I was wondering if I could snag your cell phone number or your email before you left." " I don't think so, Mike." " Why not?" " Not my style." " But we- you know, I touched your butt." " I know, and it was nice." "I just think that's all she wrote." "That was" " Mike, are those high-tops?" " Yeah." " You're never gonna get those off." " Oh!" "Keep it- don't-under me." " Hi." " Hi." " You all checked out?" " Yeah, I did it with your wife earlier." " Shoot." " Hey, Dad." "Oh, come back and see us sometime." " Mm-hmm, yeah, well, you know, it all depends on work." " What was that all about?" " She sells motel paintings." " Mike, heat's out in 118." " # Well, I've never been to Spain #" "# But I kind of like the music #" "# They say the ladies are insane there#" "# And they sure know how to use it #" "# They don't abuse it #" "# Don't go and lose it #" " Thank you for calling last minute" " I'd like to book a" " Your call is important to us." " Fuck!" " # Well, I've never been to England #" " Please continue to hold." "Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received." " Come on, Mike, now or never." "I'm gonna do it!" " Hello, Last Minute Flights." "How may I assist you?" " Hi, yeah, I'd like to book a one-way cash ticket for as fast as possible from Phoenix to Baltimore, got it?" " # Well, I've never been to heaven #" "# But I've been to Oklahoma #" "# Well, they tell me I was born there #" "# But I really don't remember #" "# In Oklahoma, not Arizona #" "# What does it matter?" "#" " Hi." " Hi." " I'm here to see Sue Claussen." " Mm-hmm, is she expecting you?" " Yeah, I left a couple messages." " Messages regarding?" " Regarding Sue, telling her I was in town." "I'm an old friend." " I see." "Okay." " Sue, hi." " What are you doing here?" " I-I was wondering if we could talk." " Why are you here?" " I called twice." "Did you get the messages?" " You know what, you guys?" "I'm sorry." "Why don't you- you go on ahead." " Are you sure, Sue?" " Yeah, no, good, go." "Good." " Hi." " Can I talk to you for a second?" " Yeah." " This is completely inappropriate." "This is like a violation." " I wasn't trying to violate" " Well, you did." "You are." "You are violating my personal space." "You are violating my personal life." "I can't do this." "I have to be somewhere." "I'm late." " It's-it's 5:00." "What could you be late for?" " I have an event." " You have an event?" "What kind of an event?" " I'm not gonna tell you." " Can I come?" "Here." "Come on, you need it." "You do this every week?" " Yeah." " You're really good." " You can't stay, Mike." " Why not?" " 'Cause it's insane." "I let you touch my butt, and then you fly all the way across the country." " Well, it was much more than a butt touch." " Still, you can't stay." "I got a lot I got to do." " Well, how much stuff can you do in one night?" " A lot." " Like what?" "Do you go out with friends?" " Do you see that girl over there?" "She works for Burger King." "She gives me vouchers every week." "And I pass them out." "That's what I do." " Hey." "I just want to let you know, if you want me to leave tomorrow, I will." "I promise." " Hey, guys." " Sue's here." " Okay." "Whopper." " Yeah, sure, yeah." " Whopper." "Whopper." "Whopper, Whopper." "Okay, chicken tenders." "Chicken tender." "Be careful, easy, easy, easy, easy." "There you go, chicken tender." "Okay, BB-BK veggie burger." " Fuck that, Sue." " Come on, it's supposed to be delicious." " I don't think so." " Come on, guys, it's got soy in it." "It's really- it's really good." " Fine, I'll take one." " All right." "Hey, who wants a Powerade?" " I do" " I do." " All right." "Got one there, buddy?" "Oh, this is nice." " Thanks, I've been here two years." "Compact fluorescents." " Oh, bummer." " No, that's" "So I think I'm gonna go to sleep." " Do you want me to touch your butt first?" " No, I only do that when I'm traveling." " Right." "So do you-are you alone here in Maryland, or do you have relatives around?" " My mom is over in Laurel." "That" "Her name's Mary." " Oh, what does she do?" " She sells insurance to deaf people." " Oh, nice sweat suit." "I don't-you know, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I think we probably shouldn't sleep in the same bed." " That's a good call." " So is your return ticket all set?" " I actually don't have one." " You don't have a return ticket?" " No, I bought a one-way." " Why?" " Um..." " That's completely unacceptable, Mike." " I know." " You need to buy one." " I know." "I'm sorry." "I" " I didn't have enough money." " What?" " I only had enough for a one-way, and I thought-I thought, "I'm just gonna go for it. "" " With me?" " Yes." "It was a far-flung notion." " It was a fucking stupid notion." " I guess." " I'll lend you the money." " No, you don't have to do that." " Well, I'm going to." " Okay, hey, would you first consider taking the morning off from work?" " No." " We could hang out, and then I'll leave." "If I don't, you can mace me." " You're insane." " We could go to the zoo." "That'd be fun." " Mike, zoos suck." " Okay, then we'll do something else." "Come on, Sue, take the day off from work." "You look like you could use it." " I do?" " No, hey!" " Bump something!" "Bump those people." "Wait, wait, wait." "Give it to me." " Not too hard, okay?" "All right." "Oh, man." " You shouldn't smoke." " I'm done forever." "I'm serious." " No, you don't- hey, you don't have to" "You didn't have to do that." " I know, but I am." "I'm done." "It's time." " Let me see if I understand something." "Do you think that you, like, like me, Mike?" " Yes." " Why?" " 'Cause you have style." " No, I don't." " Yeah, you do." " No, no, I don't." " Yeah." "You-you give away 30% of your income." " You would too if you made more." " No, I wouldn't." "You're also incredibly sweet." "Well, beneath, you know." " Beneath what?" " Beneath the part of you that's not." " You better catch your bus." " I'll pay you back for the ticket." " Don't worry about it." " So will I ever see you again?" " I wouldn't be good for you, Mike." "I'm not good with people." " No, that's not true." " Yeah, no, it is." " No, it's not." "What about those homeless guys?" "They love you." "What about the soccer gals?" "What about me?" " Okay, buddy, all aboard." " I think, Mike, you'd better get on the bus." " Hey, Sue, it's Mike calling again." "I'm trying not to call too much, but I just want to make sure that you got the poem that I sent last week, you know, the sort of elongated haiku thing." "Anyway, you know my home number and of course the front desk." "But seriously, you should call, because I'm- I'm definitely around." "Anyway, talk to you later, I hope." "Bye." " # More than begin # # but less than forget #" "# But spirits born # # from the not happened yet # # gathering there # # to pay off a debt # # brought back from the wars #" "# We thought we lost you #" "# Welcome back #" " I thought you were gonna quit smoking." " I just did." "What are you doing here?" " Work." " Hey, did-did you get my haiku?" " The elongated one?" " Yeah." "It was nice." " So you're just passing through?" " Yeah." "I fly out from Phoenix tomorrow." " Oh, okay." " I'll take that." " Oh, thank you." " So this must be a really, you know, good region for corporate art sales." " Yes, it is." " Good." "Hey, I'm supposed to go to this yoga class thing later." "Would you like to come with me?" "Do you have a boyfriend, Sue?" " No." " Did you recently?" " Yes." " What was his name?" " Jango." "He's an ex-punk." " Ex-like, an ex-punk?" " Ex-rock punk." "We broke up when he moved away." " Why'd he leave?" " To open the Pacific Northwest branch of his organic yogurt company." "He's the president." " There you go." " Thank you." " Thanks." "So how's your job these days?" " It's okay." " But it's not your fantasyjob." " I don't really do fantasy, Mike." " If you could close your eyes and pick anything, what would it be?" " Uh..." " But you got to close your eyes." "Otherwise, it's not gonna work." " Oh, okay." "Okay." "To run a full-service, state-of-the-art soup kitchen." " Wow." " Multiple housing units upstairs, recreational facilities in the basement, job outreach, midnight basketball." " Really good soup?" " Always." "Excellent soup, first and foremost." " What about kids?" "You want to have kids?" " You know what was really great about that yoga class?" "It was the breathing stuff." "I don't do that." " Breathe?" " There are days where I have to instruct my heart to request additional air." "And I have to tell myself," ""Breathe, Sue." "Just keep breathing. "" "Yes, I want kids." " Were you not sure when I asked?" " I just don't think I've ever really been asked... that way... before." " Can I ask one more question?" "And then I'm done, I swear." " What?" " Will you come visit my mom with me on the way home?" "She's sick, and I" "I promised I'd stop by." " Here, these are for you." "There's a flower show downtown." " That's nice of you." " Um, hey, Ma, Sue flew in from Baltimore just this morning." " What do you do, Sue?" " I sell corporate decorative art." " I've met you before." " Yeah, you know, she stayed at the motel, Ma." "That's how we met." " And where are you from originally?" " I'm from Columbia, Maryland." " Do you come from a good family?" " Uh..." "No, not really." " Is there something specifically wrong with your family?" " Well, my father lives on an ashram in Northern California." "Pretty much sums up everything about him." "He once forgot to pick me up from gymnastics for an entire night." " That's quite a lot of somersaults." " I didn't care." "It reallyjust explains more about him than it does me." "Could you hand me those pills, Mike?" " Which ones?" " The ones on the left there." "Can I talk to my son in private for a moment?" " Yeah, I- Did I say something wrong?" " Not at all." " I'll just be a moment." " Okay." " I like her." " Really?" " She's a bit of a long shot." "But she's logical in an emotionally annihilated kind of way." "But that's okay." "Underneath, there's a heart of" " Gold?" " No, I wouldn't say gold." "Maybe made of... leather." "But if it works out, she'll be good for you when I'm gone." "Needless to say, what would make me happy is for you to find something for yourself before my checkout time, just so I know it's not you and your father alone here, walking around like robots." " Ma, Dad's not a robot." " He is." "But I was mostly talking about you... unless you find a way out." " Of what?" " Of whatever it is you're stuck in." "You get it from your father." "He came back from the war stuck." "Been talking about joining a gym ever since." "Never has." "But that doesn't have to be you." " You okay?" " Yeah, are you?" " Yeah." " She liked you." " No, she didn't." " Yeah, she did." "She told me." " What took you so long?" " Dad, do you remember Sue?" " Hi." "There's a toilet overflowing in 110." " Okay." " Got to get home to your mom." " You really leaving?" " I have to." " You can't do one more night?" " I have meetings this afternoon in Seattle." " Blow 'em off and just stay for a while." " It's myjob." " I know." "But, you know, you could get a job around here." " Where, Szechuan House?" " No." "I'm just saying that, you know" " Mike." "I don't know how to say this." "This isn't gonna work." "I mean, I'll-I'll stop by when I pass through." " Come on, what do you mean?" " I can't move from Baltimore to live in a corner double room of your parents' motel." "I mean... be serious." "I'm sorry." "I'll stay in better touch this time." " Yeah, whatever you say." "So this is where she wanted?" " Well, this used to be all scrub." "She'd be cringing right now if she knew they were building here." "But I promised her I'd do it." " Yeah, it's still nice." " I meant to give this to you earlier." "It's your mom's favorite piece ofjewelry." "As you know, she was a necklace woman." "She thought you should have it." "Don't know why." "Wouldn't want you to start wearing it, but maybe you can find some use for it, something." " Thanks, Dad." " Also had some guy call me, wanted to buy the motel." " You gonna do it?" " I doubt it." "May as well keep running it." "But you can do what you want, Mike, you know, if you- you want to leave." " This ain't a half bad hunk ofjunk." " Yeah, it was my mother's." " Oh, God, let's not go down the sentimental road." " Oh, I'm not." "I'm just saying." " Yeah, I know what you're saying, and I know you're gonna start crying." " What?" "No, I'm not." " How long you been in the pawn business?" " The porn business?" " No, the pawn business, God damn it." "How long you been in the pawn business?" " Oh, no, I'm never- I'm not in that." " No, no, exactly." "So when somebody says they ain't gonna start crying, that's sure as shit sign that they's just about to start blubbering like a calf." "Oh, see what I mean?" " Just, how much for the necklace?" " I'll give you $300." " Okay." " Oh." " Hi." " Hi." " I'm here to see Sue, please." " Sue no longer works here." " I'm sorry?" " She moved to Washington." " D.C.?" " State." "Her old boyfriend convinced her to move out to Aberdeen, showed up here with flowers, first class plane tickets." "It was very Officer and a Gentleman." "Fuck!" " Number eight?" " Eight?" "Dude, I'm just messing with you." "You're new in town, right?" " Oh, yeah." " You looking for a job?" " Yeah." " You, uh... you want to work here?" " Seriously?" " Why the fuck wouldn't I be serious?" " Al." " I'm Mike." " Mike, it is nice to meet you, Mike." " Yeah, you too." " Dude, you stink." " I do?" " Big time." "You can't work here if you stink." "It's my parents' place, and they're old school." "They really hate stinky people." " Okay." " Yeah, so, like, go home, take a shower, please, come back, and I will get you the job." " I don't have a home." " Really?" " He also needs a place to live." "So I was thinking that maybe we could, you know, let him stay in the basement and deduct some rent from his pay." " Great." " Hey, thanks a lot for helping me out." "It really means a lot." " Dude, no problem, man." "You know, I've been trying to get my folks to hire someone American anyway, 'cause we catch less bigot bullshit that way." "Plus, I freakin' hate working the mornings." " Why?" " 'Cause I smoke a lot of pot, and I like sleeping in." " That's cool." " So why'd you come to Aberdeen, Mike?" " This girl that I'm in love with, she moved here to be with her ex-boyfriend." " Oh, that sucks, man." " Yeah, especially considering the guy's a punk." " Like, a punk punk?" " Ex-punk." "I think he's older now." " Does he train dogs?" " I don't know." " Is his name, like, Jango?" " Jang-yeah, I think it is." " I have totally heard of this dude, Mike." " Is he a punk?" " No, he's an ex-punk." " So the thing with this guy is, right?" "He's also, like, a yogurt magnate." "Okay, totally huge in the yogurt business." "This guy's, like, a yogurt fucking mogul." "You see those kennels over there?" "That's where he keeps the dogs." " Damn it." " What?" " This guy- this guy is, like, a total stud." " What do you mean?" " I'm not a sexual superman." "This guy?" "I mean..." " No, dude, you're probably fine." " You're just saying that." " Yeah, that's true, but what do you want me to say, that you're right?" " No, but" " Okay, look, look, chicks these days, they don't want sexual supermen." "Okay, they want hard workers, you know, guys who hustle." "And I mean, you look like a hustler, Mike." "I mean, you came all the way out to Aberdeen, dude, and that's got to count for something, right?" "Yeah." " Yeah." " This guy's got shrubbery shaped like pit bulls." "Dude, I think I got an idea for how you can get your girl back." " Really?" " See that dude sitting over there?" "He runs a flight school in Olympia." "You should talk to him, Mike." " Okay, Mike." "What I need now is for you to free your mind so as to have a spiritually fulfilling, religious fucking moment." " I'm pretty sure I can do it, Stan." " That's the Michael I've come to know over the last eight hours." "That's the Mike." "Come on, now." "Three, two, one." " Wait, one sec!" " Yeah." "Okay, now, Mike." "You're on your own!" "Whoo!" " Jesus!" "Oh, my God!" "Jango!" "Oh, my God." "Who is-who is that?" " Sue, it's me, Mike." " Mike?" " Sue!" " What are you doing?" "Mike, come here." "Jango, stop with the BBs!" "I know him." " What the fuck's going on?" " Come here." "Mike, come here." "Jango, stop shooting people." "Stop it." "Come here to me." "Follow my hands." "Follow the noise." "Stop it!" "Come on." "There you go." "Here I am." "I got you." "I got you." "Why?" "Oh, my God, are you okay?" " Back away." "Sue." " Jango, give me the gun." "Give me the damn gun." " I think I'm dying." " It's just BBs." " No, I mean, I really think I'm dying." " Move back, Sue." "Clear." " Ow!" " Jango!" "What are you doing?" " CPR!" " Oh, my God, I'm calling an ambulance." "Okay." "Well, that just looks like you're kissing him, Jango." " Hi." " Where am I?" " The Aberdeen Medical Center." " Did-did" " Yeah, Jango shot you, which caused you to go into shock." "Mike, why?" "Why did you come out here?" " Because I love you." "Do I have BB holes in my neck?" " Yeah." " They hurt." " I can imagine." " I thought it was over with that guy." " He's good to me, Mike." "He put me in charge of his company's nonprofit yogurt fund, which allows me to do a lot of good things for a lot of people." "He also feels horrible about shooting you, and he would like to have you over for dinner." " Oh, that's nice." " So who's this guy?" " That is... me and Joe Strummer in the summer of '79 at the 100 club in London." " Who's Joe Strummer?" " Joe Strummer most likely made love to your mother, Al, and then wrote a song about it." "Here's the two of us throwing up together at the CBGB's." " Hey, who is that?" " Oh." "That's me and Ed McMahon," "Ed Mc-wild-man." "Now, he's a true punk." "Basically, for me, dog work is a thrill, an adrenaline rush, if you will, that's otherwise hard for me to replicate in the world of yogurt." " Especially now that you're not a punk." " Well, I'll always be a punk in here, Al, make no mistake." "But there's less need for me to call myself a punk in a world when the very notion of punkdom has been commodified for the mass market." " Okay." " How do you like your marsala?" " It's really good." " Yeah?" " Oh, you're not gonna eat any?" " No, I-I liquefied it." "Listen, I would just like to formally and quite sincerely apologize to you for the BB gun incident." "I lost my cool." "I was scared for Sue, scared for the dogs, scared for the general well-being of the pool." "So I just want to say that I'm" "I'm sorry, M" " Mike." " My friend." "I blundered." " Yeah, that's all right." " Yeah, so now that's behind us." "And Sue tells me that-that you're a painter." " Yeah, very... very talented painter." " When did you have the opportunity to become acquainted with his work, Sue?" " That was-it was my last business trip for Corporate Bliss." " Hmm." "And you saw her and thought," ""Great opportunity to promote my art,"" "or you thought, "Beautiful woman"?" " The first part-one- the art one." " Now, and so you're the guy who paints foxes and hounds for corporate art?" " Yeah." " Okay, 'cause I've got something to say about that." "You take a Rottweiler- well, no, let's say a Malinois chasing a fox, you got a seriously new dynamic on your hands, because a Malinois on a fox's ass, that'd be a trip," "because a Malinois is gonna turn that little fox into fox meat inside of 23 seconds." "You know what I'm saying?" "So I'd just like to lobby for that a little bit." " Okay." " That was really great chicken, Jango." " I love that fucking chicken, Jango." " Oh, hey, you had better chicken than that, you'd have to be a rooster." "Oh, hey, speaking of, who's up for some dessert?" " Wow." " Got a new flavor I want to try out on you guys," "Henry Rollins Chicken Wing Crunch." " Hey, Sue." "Mike and I are gonna go to the cowboy club after this, and if you want to join us, you know, they got really great dancing." " I'll think about it." " What I'm trying to say is that China is not only gonna kick America's economic butt, but is gonna invade your whole country." "I am talking about you guys getting, like, a whole new flag and whatnot." " I'm not" " You need to reorient the way you think about the Asians, Mike, because we will blow your mind with our uniqueness and inner beauty." "You think she's hot?" "Yeah, sort of." " Hi, guys." " Yes." " Sue, hi." " Hi, Mike." " You didn't bring Jango, did you?" " No, no, he- he got kind of drunk, so I just told him that I had an errand." " Hey, you want to dance with us, Sue?" " No." " Come on, I know you got a move." " I don't have a move." " Everybody's got a move, Sue." " Mike, show her your move." " I don't have a move." " Sue, don't you think Mike's got moves?" " I bet you have a move." " Come on, let's bust a move." " Come on." " # I put on lipstick, paint, and powder #" "# When I do, it's all you see #" "# Giving someone what they wanted # # wasn't all I thought it'd be #" "# Don't make it better #" "# Make it worse #" "# Make it new or make it done #" "# I guess I'll be all right without you #" "# Girl, it's better when you're gone #" " Hey, did you hear?" "Aberdeen is building the biggest biodiesel fuel plant in the country." " Whatever you say, Mike." " No, we should find a way to get in on that." " Yeah." " Hey, Jango." " You know why I'll always be a punk, Matt?" " Mike." " Mike." "'Cause I take very little shit." " Whoa, hey!" " I'm watching you, Matt." "You stay away from her." " Christ, Mike." "Mike, Mike, you all right, dude?" " I'll get him back." " All right." "Yeah, man, yeah." "He's a scumbag." " He's gonna regret that." " So you sure you want to do this?" " Look, don't come if you don't want." " Dude, I'm with you." " Okay, let's do it." " Let's go." " # Baby # # when I think about you #" "# I think about love #" "# Darling # # don't live without you # # and your love #" "# If I had # # those golden dreams # # of my yesterday #" "# I would wrap you # # in the heavens # # till I'm dyin' on the way #" "# Feel like makin' #" "# I feel like makin' love #" "# I feel like makin' love #" "# Feel like makin' love to you #" "Dude, that was awesome." " Just..." " Dude, let's go." " Wait, wait." "Go, go, go." " Shit." " I love you, Sue." "Eat that, dog man!" " You suck!" " Mike, you have a visitor." " Okay." " We need to talk, Mike." " I know." "I've been leaving you messages." "I mean, did- did you tell him about us?" " Yes." " Why?" " Because I'm marrying him." " What?" " Which I-I need you to accept." " Why?" " Because I'm at a point in my life where there are certain things that I need." " Like what?" " Like a certain kind of love." " Well, what-what kind?" " The kind that is not like an unguided missile." "You can't just stalk people around the country." "You can't parachute into people's pools, knock on people's motel rooms just because you're feeling lonely." "Life isn't like that." "For you to-to be with someone, it's-it's not all about what you need." "It's got to be more selfless than that, Mike." "It's got to be more selfless than that." " Oh, like-like, save everyone else in the world except yourself?" " I don't- that's not what I do." " Yes, it is." " No, it's not." " Yes, it is." "You're so busy being selfless that you end up treating yourself like shit." " Is that really what you think of me?" " I'm just-I'm just saying, I know what you need." " Which is what?" " To take care of yourself a little... so that the people who love you don't feel like they're annoying you." "Sue, Sue, just marry me, okay?" "Just let the world go screw itself for a half second and just see what happens, and maybe it'll be okay." " I'm getting married on Saturday." " Why?" " Because I'm pregnant." "And I'm gonna have it, and... it's what I want." " You're having a child?" "Could-could it be mine?" " No." "Which is why I'm getting married." "Mike, I can't afford to be selfish on this one." "I just have to be with somebody who knows what they're doing with their life." "Sorry." "Sweet just doesn't cut it." " Can you leave now, please?" "Just leave, okay?" "Get out of my basement, Sue." "Susan, get" "I'm serious." "Get the fuck out of my basement right now!" " I wish I had that dickwad's BB gun right now." "They going on a honeymoon?" " I don't know." " Yeah, they're probably waiting till yogurt season's over." "You're gonna be all right." " Yeah, yeah." "I just want to say, Al..." "You're the best friend I ever had." " Ditto." "What a douchebag, huh?" "You know, it's enough to make you want to be a Buddhist monk." "My people are really good at that stuff." " Yeah?" " No, dude, don't get carried away." " # Well, I don't know what I'm looking for #" " Oh, sure." " And you can see by our next slide" " # For some people, it's an easy choice #" "# But for me, there's a devil and an angel's voice #" "# Well, I don't know what I am looking for #" "# But I know that I just want to look some more #" "# Well, I don't know what I'm looking for #" "# But I know that I just want to look some more #" "# And you hear it from the strangers # # and you hear it from friends # # that love never dies #" " It's one point." "Don't worry about it." "Now, serve the ball." "You got it." "Come on!" " # Well, I don't know what I am living for #" "# But I know that I just want to live some more #" " Michael, the progress you've made in your four months here has been remarkable." " Thank you, Father." " Needless to say, your immersion in the duty of carrot chopper and broom chief has been full and complete." " Thank you." " But some worries have arisen." " Such as what, Father?" " Well, first of all, you're not supposed to call me Father." " Oh." " But I must say, I admit, I've grown fond of it." "Michael... an aspiring bodhisattva such as yourself should seek to produce a heart that does not dwell." " Of course, father." " And your heart, Michael, may I say, it does dwell." " No, it doesn't." " It does, Michael." "You have not transcended your earthly passions." "To put it bluntly, you are stuck." "You also spend too much time playing volleyball." " Yeah, but I thought that was permitted, Father." " Yes, but not for seven hours a day." " Also, you encouraged it for stress release." " Yes, I did, yes." "But, Michael," "Buddhist monks aren't supposed to have seven hours a day worth of stress." "We are Buddhist monks, Buddhist monks." " So what should I do?" " My parents died when I was ten." "Two months later, my uncle and I moved to America." "I was forced to let go of everything I knew in order to move on." "Sometimes in life, you must do that." " Where are you from, Father?" " Vietnam, Hau Nghia Province." "My parents were killed in the war." " By the Americans?" " Yes." "And yet I moved here." "Life is odd." " I'm sorry." " No, no, no." "It is not your fault." "Let go, Mike." "Let go and move on." " I recog-noodle you." " Yeah, I'm the guy who sold you my mom's necklace." " Oh, yeah, that's right." "What can I do you for?" " I want it back." "Dad." "Do you want me to make you some dinner?" " No, I'm all right." " Okay." "Dad, when you were over in Vietnam, did you ever do any fighting in the Hau Nghia Province?" " Yeah." "Why?" " I just met this guy up at the monastery who's from that area." "He seemed to really have his shit together." " Good to hear." " Dad, I've been thinking." "Maybe you should sell this place." "You don't even like it here." "This was Mom's thing." " Why do you say that?" " 'Cause it's true." "Come on, Mom loved people, loved running things." "It's not like you." "You're not like a people person, Dad." "You should let it go." "Move on." "Otherwise, you're just gonna rot." " Sell it and do what?" " Anything." "You still have time." "You'd have money." " What do you need, Mike, a loan?" " No." "I just wanted to say that this doesn't have to be it..." "And that I love you." " "Dear Mike," ""I know you probably don't want to hear from me," ""and I can't say I blame you." ""But I wanted to write anyway to let you know what I think," ""which is that I think you had a point that day" ""about people who hide behind their causes" ""in order to avoid their lives." "'"You had a point down there in that basement," "'"with the soy sauce and the mice." ""And so I wanted to say thanks." ""Because of you, Mike, I'm not the same person I was." ""Good-bye, Mike." "Love, Sue. "" " So I thought about what you said the other day." "I think you had a point." "That being said, this is yours." " What is it?" " Deed to the motel, signed over to you." " Dad, that's not- that's not why" " It's fine." "I don't need it." "Your mom was good about that." "You-you can't just give me the motel." " It's your birthright." " What would you do?" " I want to get in shape, maybe join one of those basketball leagues." "How about you?" " I don't know." "I'll think of something." " You done with the monk stuff?" " Yeah, I'll still occasionally do it," "I mean, not professionally, but" " What about that girl?" " Oh, that didn't work out." "Yeah, we weren't, you know, like, meant for each other." " I don't know, Mike." "Things change in life." " What do you mean?" " You're not the same guy you were." "Good soup." " Good soup." "You can do this, Mike." " So I'm gonna hit the gym." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah, they have a senior citizen hoop run from 3:00 to 5:00." "Got a new ball." " Yeah, I see." " All right, Mike." " See you." " Hello?" " Hi, Jango, it's Mike, Sue's friend." " Hi, Mike." " Hi, look, I know that I'm probably not the guy you want to hear from right now, but I need to tell Sue about what I'm doing down here." "And I think that when she hears what I'm up to, she'll at least understand that if nothing else" " Mike?" " Yeah." " We split up." "Sue and I split up." "She left me... went back to Maryland to be with her mom." " # From the rainwater well # # deep as a secret nobody knows #" " # I know you want to # # run far away from one more # # and that it's coming at a bad time #" "# Some cold place # # heartless ways # # for all we know #" " Hi." " Hi." "Are you Mary Claussen?" " Yes." " Hi." " I'm a friend of Sue's." "Is she home?" " Who are you?" " Mike from management." " Oh." "Sue." "Mike is here." " # We thought we lost you #" "# We thought we lost you #" " Hi." " How's the baby?" " So far, so good." " Are you okay?" " Yeah." "I'm really sorry, Mike." " Why?" " 'Cause I really messed up with you." " But you were right." "I was like a kid." "This is the deed to the motel." "I want to turn it into a homeless shelter with midnight basketball." "I already bought the soup noodles." "I was actually hoping that you might want to help." "I really love you, Sue." "And I want to take care of you and whoever it is that's inside of you." "All I want is to be with you." "That's it." "Breathe, Sue." "Just keep breathing." " I wrote you a haiku." "Want to hear it?" " Sure." " Mike, oh, Mike, my man, keeps showing up like UPS." "Sue, you're such a bitch." " I like it." " You do?" " Yes." " # What am I gonna do?" "#" "# Isn't that just jelly?" "#" "# All the things I've heard # # of all the things you find #" "# I wonder if you know #" "# I wonder if you're bitter #" "# And all that you've considered #" "# Like marmalade, your mine #" "# And the tow will bring you down real hard #" "# 'Cause your house is only made of cards #" "# So sweetly is the dream # # in the cookie jar # # where everybody is # # everywhere you are #" "# Remember what you did #" "# Remember what you said #" "# A lonely macaroon # # inside your biscuit head #" "# And the tow will bring you down real hard #" "# 'Cause your house is only made of cards #" "# What about the jam we're in #" "# What about when we were friends #" "# I kept my cookie jar # # too high up on the shelf #" "# Here's what I wish for you #" "# Here's what you must do #" "# Preserve yourself #" "# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah # # yeah, yeah, yeah, #" "# Preserve yourself #" "# Oh, oh, oh #"