"[***]" "ALL:" "* It's time for Animaniacs *" "* And we're zany to the max *" "* So just sit back and relax *" "* You'll laugh Till you collapse *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "BOTH:" "* Come join The Warner brothers *" "* And the Warner sister, Dot *" "ALL:" "* Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot *" "* They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught *" "* But we break loose And then vamoose *" "* And now you know the plot *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *" "* Wakko packs away the snacks *" "* We pay tons of income tax *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Meet Ralph And Dr Scratchansniff *" "* Say hi to Hello, Nurse *" "* Goodfeathers flock together *" "* Slappy whacks 'em With her purse *" "* Buttons chases Mindy *" "* While Rita sings a verse *" "* The writers flipped We have no script *" "* Why bother to rehearse?" "*" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* We have pay-or-play Contracts *" "* We're zany to the max *" "* There's bologna In our slacks *" "* We're Animan-y *" "* Totally insane-y *" "*Money down the drain-y *" "* Animaniacs *" "* Those are the facts *" "[***]" "[***]" "[WAKKO AND YAKKO SIGH]" "We're here for our appointment with Dr. Scratchansniff." "I'm afraid there'll be a short delay." "He's a little behind today." "He's not a little behind to us." "He's a big one." "No." "He's running late." "He shouldn't be long." "If you'll just take a seat." "I've got mine." "She means sit, Wakko." "Oh." "[CRASH]" "[PANTING]" "[PANTS]" "Good dog." "Now roll over." "Good." "Now give me your paw and shake." "Hey, big daddy." "S'up?" "What it is, what it is." "Play dead." "[GROANS]" "Is this the end of little Rico?" "Now speak." "My fellow Americans, I am not a crook." "Good dog." "Can I borrow your newspaper?" "Why?" "Ahh... he's not housebroken." "Hey, look at this." ""Hix Makes Pix."" "What's that mean?" "Oh, that's the trade paper." "It's nothing but show-biz news." "I don't get it." "Well, you see, Wakko..." "* In Hollywood They have *" "* A different language That they speak *" "* It's spoken by those folks *" "* Who went to school For just one week *" "* It's found inside Variety A magazine they use *" "BOTH:" "* And no one understands it When they read the movie news *" "* Like "Hix Makes Pix But the flick needs fix" *" "* Means someone made A movie that bombed *" "* "The Veeps in Charge" Are "Now at Large" *" "* Means everyone Involved is gone *" "* "The plot conflix no beautiful chix" *" "* So it's coming out On video soon *" "* "They're taking their licks 'Cause the critics say nix" *" "* And the editors are gonna try To fix it in the mix *" "* But "the stock sees green On page 13" *" "* Means Disney's up A nickel a share *" "* "Stallone cuts deal For a major reel" *" "* Means RockyNumber Six So beware *" "* If you want The poop *" "* Or you need The scoop *" "BOTH:" "* On Hollywood town this week *" "* You're gonna have to learn To talk that Variety speak *" "CHORUS:" "* Bop-a-doo-boop Bah-dah-bah-doo-bah *" "* Bop-a-doo-boop Bah-dah-bah-doo-bah *" "* A "Boffo Smash Makes Warner Cash" *" "* Means there's gonna be A sequel next year *" "* But "Paramount Hurts" and They're losing their shirts *" "* Means Schwarzenegger's Doing King Lear *" "* "Oliver Stone Does Next Home Alone" *" "* Means he's getting paid An arm and a leg *" "* The budget goes crunch * * His name packs punch *" "* They called up the accountants And they're gonna do lunch *" "* While "The Ratings Smile On the O.J. Trial" *" "* Means a movie of the week To premiere *" "* "Universal Cuts Deal With Mr. Spiel" *" "* To do a hundred thousand Movies a year *" "ALL:" "* You gotta play it smart If you wanna be part *" "* Of the crowd That's hip and chic *" "* You're gonna have to learn To talk that Variety speak *" "CHORUS:" "* Bop-a-doo-boop Bah-dah-bah-doo-bah *" "* Bop-a-doo-boop Bah-dah-bah-doo-bah *" "* "Normal Talk Makes Producers Walk" *" "BOTH:" "* You might as well Speak Greek *" "* You're gonna have to learn *" "* Or the meeting Will adjourn *" "ALL:" "* Unless, my friends You learn that Variety speak *" "CHORUS:" "* Bop-a-doo-boop Bah-dah-bah-doo-bah *" "* Bop-a-doo-boop Bah-dah-bah-doo-bah *" "* Bop-doop, bop-doop Bop-doop, bah-dah *" "[***]" "[SIGHS]" "WARNERS:" "* She's a cranky old critter She's bitter, we warn you *" "* She lives in a tree house In Burbank, California *" "* Along with her nephew *" "* He says, "Spew" He's cheerful *" "* Then his aunt starts to rant She gives him an earful *" "* She's grumpy, he's happy It's generation gappy *" "* Take a whirl With the squirrels *" "* Skippy and Slappy *" "Ah, put a sock in it." "* That's my... * ALL: *Aunt Slappy *" "[***]" "[***]" "Come on, Aunt Slappy, we're gonna be late." "All right, already." "I'm coming." "I promised him all summer I'd take him to a baseball game." "And tonight's the night." "Go Dodgers!" "I'm gonna eat peanuts and popcorn and Dodger dogs till I barf!" "Life is good." "[***]" "Feast your eyes, Skippy, my boy." "Dodger Stadium." "Yay!" "Domino, Pepperoni and Carumba?" "Who are these guys?" "Must be the new infield for the Montréal Expos." "Better get to our seats." "This game's gonna be packed." "ANNOUNCER:" "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to tonight's special presentation at Dodger Stadium." "And now, our national anthem." "[***]" "[BONES CRACK]" "Mwah!" "["STAR-SPANGLED BANNER" PLAYING]" "Play ball!" "ALL:" "Shh!" "[SONG ENDS]" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "Who are they, Aunt Slappy?" "Umpires, Skippy." "And it looks like one of them is related to Shamu." "ALL:" "Shh!" "Well, excuse me for living." "["LA DONNA É MOBILE" PLAYING]" "[SINGING IN ITALIAN]" "What is this?" "Must be the Canadian national anthem." "Just hum along if you don't know the words." "[HUMMING]" "* O Canada *" "ALL:" "Shh!" "You sound like a broken Slurpee machine." "[FINISHES IN ITALIAN]" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "[SONG CONTINUES]" "[FINISHES IN ITALIAN]" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "[SONG CONTINUES]" "[FINISHES IN ITALIAN]" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "[SONG ENDS]" "Up, down, up, down." "What is this, a Jane Fonda workout?" "["DANCE OF THE HOURS" PLAYING]" "When's the game gonna start?" "I don't know." "This pregame show's taking an eternity." "ALL:" "* Calamari, marinara *" "* Ravioli, veal ricotta *" "* Minestrone, macaroni *" "* Ice tortoni And a big slice of bologna *" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "I don't think they're umpires, Aunt Slappy." "For the love of Mike," "I thought that fat guy looked familiar." "It's Tommy Lasorda." "Hey, Tommy!" "Get back on that Slim-Fast diet, you're losing the war!" "And shave that beard while you're at it!" "[SINGING IN ITALIAN]" "I'm hungry, Aunt Slappy." "Me too." "Where's that concessions guy?" "SLAPPY:" "Hey, peanuts!" "Peanuts here!" "Service around here stinks." "Hey, peanuts!" "Peanuts!" "Peanuts!" "O sole mio!" "Somebody get her some peanuts!" "All right!" "Now, that's more like it." "ALL:" "*Hoy, ho-ho Hoy, ho-ho *" "*Hoy, ho-ho *" "[CHEWING LOUDLY]" "* Hoy, ho-ho * [SPITTING]" "* Hoy, ho-ho *" "*Hoy, ho-ho * [SLAPPY SPITTING]" "* Hoy, ho-ho *" "[SLAPPING MUNCHING] *Hoy, ho-ho *" "* Hoy, ho-ho * [LOUD SLURPING]" "* Hoy, ho-ho, hoy, ho-ho *" "[BURPS]" "ALL:" "Shh!" "Ah, put a salary cap on it." "[BURPS]" "[SINGING IN ITALIAN]" "Too bad it's not free-bat night." "[YAWNS]" "I'm bored." "Me too." "Let's see what else is on." "[MAN WHISTLING]" "Hey, I wonder how the Yanks are doing." "ANNOUNCER:" "Sliding into second, he's safe!" "Safe?" "Safe?" "!" "Replay!" "Let's see that again!" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "Out by a mile." "[ALL GROWLING]" "[KICK]" "Why, of all the nerve." "Now we'll never see the game." "Now, Skippy, I promised" "I'd take you to a Dodger game." "And that's exactly what I'm gonna do." "[***]" "The next song is from the greatest Hollywood musical of all time." "SKIPPY:" "That's what they think." "[SLAPPY, SKIPPY LAUGHING]" "[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT SONG]" "ALL:" "* We're slipping on the ice *" "* Just slipping on the ice *" "* For a fabulous pratfall *" "* Just follow our advice *" "* Let your feet take a flip *" "* I've broken my hip *" "* We're slipping *" "* And sliding *" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa, whoa!" "* On the ice *" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "[GRUNTS]" "[ALL GROWLING]" "Hurry, get into your costumes for the next number." "Costumes?" "What costumes?" "[SCREAMS]" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "* Tommy Lasorda Jackie Robinson *" "* Roy Campanella Henry Aaron *" "* Mantle, Maris Reggie Jackson, Baby Ruth *" "* Willie Mays and Felipe Alou *" "* Lou Gehrig, DiMaggio And Rod Carew *" "* Matty and Moises Alou *" "[SINGING IN ITALIAN]" "[ORGAN PLAYING "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME"]" "* Take me out to the ball game *" "* Take me out to the crowd *" "* Buy me some peanuts And Cracker Jack *" "* I don't care if I never get back *" "* And it's root, root, root For the home team *" "* If they don't win It's a shame *" "* For it's one, two Three strikes you're out *" "* At the old ball game *" "[SPOOKILY] They're here." "[***]" "[ALL GASP]" "[CROWD MURMURING]" "[ALL SCREAM]" "[ALL GASP]" "I decided to bring in the big guns." "[PLAYING FIRST FOUR NOTES OF "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME"]" "[IMITATING] * La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING FIRST FOUR NOTES OF "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME"]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING SAME NOTES FASTER]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING NOTES FASTER]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING NOTES FASTER]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING MELODY FASTER] * La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING FASTER] * La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING SLOWER]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING NOTES]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING MELODY]" "* La-la-la-- * Aargh!" "[PLAYING MELODY]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING MELODY]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING MELODY]" "* La-la-la-- * Aargh!" "[PLAYING MELODY]" "* La-la-la-la *" "[PLAYING "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME"]" "* La-la-la-la-la *" "[SONG CONTINUES]" "* La-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la *" "[SHIP CONTINUES SONG]" "* La-la-la-la-la-la *" "[CONTINUES SONG]" "* La-la-la-la-la *" "[INHALES DEEPLY]" "* La *" "[SCREAMING]" "It's a long fly back, back, going, going" "Holy cow, that butterball is out of here!" "Play ball!" "[***]" "Strike!" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "I said we'd see a ball game and I meant it." "ALL:" "* She's the crankiest Of creatures *" "* In the whole wide world *" "* Let's play ball with Slappy the Squirrel *" "Now, that's comedy." "[***]" "[***]" "Mm?" "Mm." "Oh, well." "I guess no game today." "WAKKO:" "Dr. Scratchansniff!" "[GASPS]" "[PANTING] Am I too late?" "Well, yes, Wakko, you are too late." "There is nobody here, so I am not having the game today." "Bye-bye." "Oh, I so wanted to play." "Oh, please, please, please." "Just one game." "[SIGHS]" "Oh." "All right, one game." "Faboo!" "You do know how to play, don't you?" "Sure, sure." "Well..." "I'll catch on as we go along." "[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]" "Okay, um..." "Welcome, everybody, to Otto's Sunday Bingo." "Ready." "Anyone can win, so make the game begin." "Let's bingo-go-go." "[APPLAUDS] Very nice." "Thank you." "And now, our first combination is..." "B-4." "Before what?" "Hm." "I-29." "Oh, no, you're not." "You must be at least 50." "Really, 29." "Oh, nein." "Oh, nein." "O-9?" "Bingo!" "No, no." "Not O-9." "The next one is I-30." "Here you go." "What's this?" "You said you were thirsty." "No, no." "I-30!" "Thirty, thirty!" "And you've got a funny lisp." "B" " Sit!" "[SPITS]" "Ready." "Wakko, how about being a good boy, yeah?" "Why can't you be one?" "B-1!" "Bingo!" "No, no, no, no, no." "Wakko," "I don't give you a B-1, I give you a B-10." "A beating?" "I don't think so." "You should be ashamed." "A beating." "Wakko, do you practice this behavior or is it innate?" "N-8?" "Bingo!" "No, no, no." "I told you before" "B-4?" "Bingo!" "That's not the bingo." "Oh, nein." "O-9?" "Bingo!" "Stop." "Now you're cheating." "G-10?" "Bingo!" "No." "Cheating, cheating, cheating." "Bingo, bingo, bingo." "I must inform" "N-4?" "I didn't say N-4." "I said "infor-ma."" "Oh." "Well, in that case, bingo-ma!" "Oh, nein." "O-9?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "I know: bingo." "No." "Bingo-ma!" "Okay, okay." "You get it." "You win." "You win." "Heh." "You're driving me crazy." "[LAUGHS INSANELY]" "Reach in and get your prize." "You've made a little boy very happy." "And if he ever meets you, I'm sure he'll thank you." "Got my prize!" "Got my prize!" "Well, what is it?" "Oh, doctor, this is the best." "Free bingo for a year." "Oh, nein." "O-9?" "Bingo!" "[GROANS]" "[***]" "[***]" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "ALL:" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* And we're zany to the max *" "* So just sit back and relax *" "* You'll laugh Till you collapse *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Meet Pinky and the Brain *" "* Who want to Rule the universe *" "* There's Skippy And there's Slappy *" "* Say hi to Hello, Nurse *" "* Buttons chases Mindy * * While Rita sings a verse *" "* The writers flipped * *We have no script *" "ALL:" "* Why bother to rehearse?" "*" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* We have pay-or-play Contracts *" "* We're zany to the max There's bologna in our slacks *" "* We're Animan-y *" "* Totally insane-y *" "* Spaghetti stain-y *" "* Animaniacs *" "* Those are the facts *" "[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]" "[***]" "ALL:" "Gesundheit!"