"THE HALF BROTHER" "According to old nonsense, you go to dance school to meet new people." "Make lasting bonds and friendship and maybe even find someone to love." "Just before Boletta put me in dance school, Fred was given one last chance and transferred to a special school." "Fred no longer walked me to school." "It didn't make my life better." "I was alone." "I was fair game." " What are you doing?" " I though I'd try to fill this." " Did you make an appointment?" " Yes." " I know it's not easy." " No, this magazine's really outdated." "I found it in the attic." "These ladies here must be over 60 now." "I meant going to the doctor." "It's not easy." "I'm really happy that you're willing to do it." "Really." "Good." " When is your appointment?" " 11:00." "They're good for three hours." " Do you want me to help you?" " Yes." "Barnum?" "This is Ditlev." "Hi, Ditlev." " You all right?" "Have you been running?" " I'm fine." "We got a phone call from someone who says she knew Fred." "I don't know if it's important, but I wanted to let you know." "She said, "I know him, that scoundrel, he's been here."" " OK, so what was her name?" " She just kept talking about candy." "Said he'd asked about candy and "Cocktail"." "Then she hung up." " That's all I have." " Thanks." "Talk to you later." " Hello?" " Boletta?" "Hi, it's Barnum." "Hi, Barnum!" "How are you?" "I'm fine." "I was thinking about Edith, do you know where she is these days?" " You have to hurry." " Edith?" "Isn't she dead?" "No, I'm told she's probably alive." "The last I heard, she was in a nursing home." " How are things with you?" " We're fine." "Thanks." "I have to go." " Tell Vivian hi from me." " I will." "Say hi to Mom." " You need to hurry." " Check if there's a taxi outside." "Yes, three of them." " Are you taking that with you?" " I'll explain later." "See you!" "Barnum, the specimen cup!" "Check your fly!" "Good luck!" "I need to go to the hospital after this, can you wait for me?" "Hi Edith!" "It's me, Barnum." "Don't you recognize me?" "It's Barnum." "Look at this!" "You remember this?" "Nice hairstyle." "Edith?" "Have you seen Fred?" "Who are you?" "Edith!" "What are you up to?" "You must let us know when you go out!" " Hi!" "Do you know her?" " Yes." " You should visit her more often." " No one comes?" "She knew everyone." "No one's come since the day she was admitted, and I doubt he'll be back." "Say, could you help me a little?" "Your father was not a good man." "He brought nylon stockings." " Who came in when she was admitted?" " He was just in the paper." "A boxer." "Come on, Edith." "Let's go inside." "Hey!" "Your face smells like cunt." "Go on, then, start crying!" " You all right, Barnum?" " Not too bad." " What happened?" " They said my face smells like cunt." "Cunt face?" "That's nothing to cry about." " Barnum?" "You're not crying, are you?" " I'm not crying, Fred." "Good, because then I wouldn't want to sit with you." "What would you have done if you'd come earlier?" "I couldn't tell you." "It would keep you awake tonight." " How's your new school?" " Great." "All the idiots in one place." "But you're not one of them, Fred." " One of who?" " The idiots." "You're not one of them, Fred." "I'm not one of anyone, don't you get that?" "And you know what?" "Your face does smell like cunt." "And you know why?" "Because that's as high as you reach on the girls." "I see you decided to give our teeth a rest today, dear wife." "Yes, the winds are rising at Røst." "Here!" "Now you have something to chew on." "And it's cheap, too." "That was fantastic." "Delicious, Vera." "Barnum?" "Come and eat!" "Suppertime." " What are you up to?" " Nothing." " I just washed myself." " Why?" "My face smelled like cunt." " Are you truck driver?" " No." " Do you wear tight trousers?" " No." " Do you have any siblings?" " I have a half brother." "Come here and take a look." "What do you see?" "Gnats in soured milk." " Do you spend a lot of time sitting?" " Yes, I'm a writer." " Gonorrhea?" "Syphilis?" " No." " Do you drink a lot?" " When I drink." "Don't pick up any bad habits, Nilsen." "You can have a good life without kids." "Just don't let cynicism take over." "So they're completely dead?" "No chance at all?" "The testicles are an expensive purse, and yours is empty." "Hi." " Why couldn't I have been taller?" " You just haven't started growing." " What if I never do?" " You'll be fine." "Barnum, why don't you ever bring any friends home from school?" "Is it because of us?" "I just don't have any friends." "That's all." "But it's OK." "There are fewer arguments this way." "I enjoy my own company." "Are you sober?" "Barnum doesn't have any friends." "He always has bruises and blood on is clothes." "He just hasn't met anyone yet who values him." "When will that happen?" "Let's put him in dance school." "I've always regretted not sending you." "You'd have met boys your own age." "Maybe things would have been different." "And to think I dreamt of being a photographer." "It's never too late, Vera." "Photographer Vera Nilsen Portraits, Weddings, Baptisms" "Photographer?" " Hard times?" " Do you think so?" " No, I'm doing all right, but..." " Then stop selling my son "Cocktail"." " So, how are the boys?" " Just fine." " Any trouble making ends meet?" " We do all right." "If you'd accepted my offer, you'd have had double the salary." "Plus pension." "The price was too high." "Barnum!" "We're going to the North Pole." "We're going to the North Pole." "Boletta is dancing." "Fred?" "Why do they call it the North Pole?" "I remember that evening as if it was yesterday." "My mouth was filled with cold, it spread over my face like an iron fan." "All I could hear was the runners on the hard snow." "The whole city turned to ice." "The ride was full of slopes and deep valleys." "I had snow everywhere." "We had the wind in our eyes, the moon at our backs and Great-grandfather in our memories." "Fred?" "Why doesn't anyone like me?" "Because they don't know you, Barnum." "Now you're going to have to push." " Your boots squeak pretty bad." " They'll scare off the polar bears." " You remember Andrée?" " The one they went to look for?" " You know what he traveled with?" " A balloon that fell down?" " 20 kilograms of shoe polish, Barnum." " Why?" "So he wouldn't get his feet wet." " Pretty smart." " Every morning and every evening he'd polish his boots." "The best equipment is useless without good shoes." " But they didn't make it anyway." " No, they didn't." "And you know why?" "No matter how much shoe polish you use, you're never completely safe." " Did they ever find him?" " 40 years later." "Nothing left but bones." "Eaten by wild animals." "Do you think Great-granddad was eaten?" "Great-granddad disappeared in the ice." "And he's still there." " All in one piece." " All in once piece?" "You know, the ice is like a giant freezer." "Everything keeps." " What if the ice melts?" " It doesn't melt." " But what if it does?" " Shut up, Barnum." "What did they do when they had to go?" " You have to take a dump now?" " No, just wondering." "They crapped on the spot." "You thought they brought an outhouse with them?" " Nansen too?" " What about Nansen?" " Did he crap on the spot, too?" " Nansen did." "Amundsen did." "And they had to shit fast so it didn't freeze in their asses." " Oh, gross!" " I'll say." "So they had to trim their ass hairs too." " Nansen?" " Don't you have ass hairs, Barnum?" "I've never really checked." "We're almost there." "Someone's coming for us." "We've lost." "Shut the hell up, Barnum!" "Come on!" " Boletta seems to be having fun." " She left work early and came here." " How do you know that?" " I left school early." "I'm thinking of leaving school early from now on, too." "Why?" " What do you want?" " To walk Boletta home." " I never get to walk her home." " Not anymore, no." " Shall I call for a taxi?" " We have a sled." "Boletta?" " Boletta!" " Time to go home!" "Boletta!" " Keep an eye on her, she's my angel." " Too late, maestro." "Go and get drunk." "Fred?" " Think he was your father?" " Are you nuts?" " What about Granddad?" " Who cares?" "He's a knacker." "Boletta!" " Where have you been?" " So I don't need to call the police?" "You should be ashamed, Mom, at your age!" "Don't shush me!" " You'll wake the whole street." " You'll wake the whole street, Mom!" "You can't even walk straight." "You're embarrassing us!" " Say something!" " What should I say?" "Pull yourself together now." "I think the polar explorers can go to bed now." "Arnold!" "Come on!" " Where is the letter?" " Here." " Why did you take it to school?" " To write an essay." " Sorry, Grandma!" " Fred..." "I copied the letter." " What was the assignment?" " To write about a hero." " Did you get a good grade?" " I got an A." "You'd better have!" "Never take that letter out of this house, Fred." " Not you either, Barnum." "Understand?" " Yes." "This is everything we are." "You got an A?" "I got a D. I couldn't even copy it." " You know why I'm so damn stupid?" " You're not stupid, Fred." "I'm so damn stupid because my mother never even saw my father." "Where's your half brother today, Barnum?" ""Cocktail"?" "When young men look unsure of what to say, they often want "Cocktail"." " Do you remember the day I was born?" " Of course I do." "Dr. Schultz was dying and the Old One walked into the street and got a cab." " DO you remember Liberation Day, too?" " Yes, who can forget that day?" "Everyone took to the streets." "Who walked through the gate?" "With shiny buttons?" "I don't remember so well anymore." "Barnum, look!" "Look what the manager at Bislett Stadium traded me." "A junior discus!" "It's better not having a father at all than that dickhead there." " Tomorrow you start dance school." " I don't think so." "You don't expect to go through life without knowing how to dance?" "The rumba?" "Cha cha cha." "And the tango Just think what you'll miss!" " We miss most everything, don't we?" " Tomorrow at 4:00, Barnum." " But no one wants to dance with me!" " Why wouldn't they?" " They'd line up to dance with you!" " I'm shorter than them." "You think women care about that?" "A centimeter, give or take?" "Oh no." "You just hold them firmly, lead them where you want." "Look in their eyes, or you won't get anywhere with them." "Tomorrow at 4:00." "There will be a lot of kids from your class." "It'll be fun." "I wish you'd come back to school." "How do I do that, then?" "Go to the headmaster and say please?" " I don't know." "Maybe." " You don't know?" "Maybe?" "Don't be and idiot." " Are you going to start dance school?" " Boletta signed me up." " Are there any girls short enough?" " Don't be mean." "Why not?" "You going to cry?" "Go ahead." "You're a wimp." "If you don't want to go to dance school, why not just say no?" "I don't know why you can't pull yourself together, Barnum." " What have you done now, Barnum?" " Nothing." " You want me to get Mom?" " Preferably not." "Should I get your father?" "Help me, Fred." "Okay, take off your pajamas then." "What's it like being so small, Barnum?" "It's a bit lonely." "OK, lift." "And the other." "Go the the bathroom and wash yourself." "Do you want to learn to dance, Barnum?" "Then you want to get thrown out." "Watch what the others do, and do the opposite." "Dance is an expression of..." "Ah, here comes a straggler." " What's your name?" " Nilsen." "Sit down." "And let that be the last time you come in late, Nilsen." "In culture, dance is an expression of a festive, happy atmosphere, a social event in which young people in particular can meet." "Dance encourages the soul, strengthens the body and gives good balance, good posture and good mastery of the limbs." "But the enchanting nature of dance is also what makes it dangerous." "I'm talking about excess." "A ball should begin and end with slow dances." "That is ideal." "It is also not without risk, I repeat, not without risk, to have such low-cut dresses as are the fashion these days." "Let me also emphasize that the longer you dance into the night, the more the benefit fades." "And you reach a point, a fateful point, when dance suddenly switches over to having a solely harmful effect." "Now, side step, together, side step, together, but you know all that." "Now boys, find yourselves a partner in a calm, dignified manner." "There!" "Come on now." "Hop to it!" "Don't be shy!" "And we bow and curtsey." "Two, three, four." "Side step, together, and..." "Backs straight." "What's this?" "Get off my dance floor!" "And don't show yourself here again!" "Stop!" "Wait!" "Stop!" " What's your name, besides Nilsen?" " Barnum." "Barnum, that's a good name." "Totally cool." " What's your name?" " Peder." "Nice to meet you!" " Hi!" " Hi, Barnum!" "Come in here." "Come and look at this picture!" "It's clear as a bell." "In ten years everyone will have a VCR." "There are two systems..." "Beta and VHS." "The two systems are incompatible, so you have to choose." "What does a watch pen millionaire put his money in?" "What do you say?" "Beta is used by television stations, it's a superior system." " VHS is much poorer." " That seems clear-cut." "And it is." "As of today, Peder Mill owns 2% of Beta Norway." "My watch pen millions will be like petty cash compared to this!" "And that, my friends, is well worth celebrating." " How did it go?" " Fine." " We can have kids?" " Yep." "Dad once said, "Spread rumors and doubt, Barnum."" ""Why?" I asked." ""Because no one believes you anyway."" ""And besides, the truth is boring." And maybe Dad was right." "Maybe the truth that we couldn't have kids was boring, and the lie that we could was more interesting to everyone."