"Greetings, myfriend." "You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious, the unexplainable." "That is whyyou are here." "And now, for the first time... we are bringing you the full story ofwhat happened." "We are giving you all the evidence... based only on the secret testimony ofthe miserable souls... who survived this terrifying ordeal." "The incidents, places" "My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer." "Can your heart stand the shocking facts... ofthe true story... of Edward D. Wood,Jr.?" "It's 8:1 5." "We can't hold the curtain any longer." "Cripes, what am I gonna tell the cast?" "It's press night and there's no press!" " Doyou believe in ghosts?" " Nah, Tommy." "That's just kiddie spook stories." "Onceyou're dead, youstaydead." "I don't know, Bill." "Out on that battlefield today, I saw this woman dressed in white... floating above the dunes." "Maybe it was just fatigue or maybe it's the indignities ofwar." "Ormaybe it's somethin'else." "Hey, I think I see somethin'." "[PulleySqueaking]" "I offeryou mortals the bird of peace... so that you may change yourways... and end this destruction." "[Squeaking Resumes ]" "What a show!" "Everyone was terrific." "Paul, your second act monologue actually gave me the chills." " Oh, thanks, Eddie." " I got the early edition, hot offthe presses!" "This is the big moment." " [ Exhales ]" " Oh, what does that old queen know?" "She didn't even show." "Sent her copy boy to do the dirtywork." " Sc-rewyou, Miss Crowley." " Do I really have a face like a horse?" "What does "ostentatious" mean?" "Hey, it's not that bad." "You can't concentrate on the negative." "Look, he's got some nice things to say here." ""The soldiers' costumes are very realistic." That's positive!" " Rave ofthe century." " Well, I've seen a lot worse reviews." "I've seen reviews where they didn't even mention the costumes." "Like that last Francis the Mule picture." "It got terrible notices." " Huge hit!" " Lines around the block." "That's right." "Don't take it too seriously." "We're all doing greatwork." " Doyou reallythink so?" " Absolutely." " [Thunderclap]" " Honey, what ifI'm wrong?" " What ifl just don't got it?" " Ed, it was only one review." "Orson Welles was only 26 when he made Citizen Kane." "I'm already 30." "Ed, you're still young." "This is the time in your lifewhen you're supposed to be struggling." "I know." "But I'm scared it's not going to get any betterthan this." "Oh, I hate having towake up this early." "Gosh, where's my pink sweater?" "I can never seem to find my clothes anymore." "Hey, big shot!" "Get offyour ass and get this over to the executive building." " Sure thing, Mr. Kravitz." " Hey, Charlie, come here." "What did I tell ya about watering these plants, eh?" "I want some water on 'em!" "Don't sprinkle the damn things!" "Soak 'em!" "Hi." "[Man]Allright, people, settle." "And... action!" "Wow!" "Look at these camels!" "These are real camels!" " Gosh, where'd they get real camels?" " Hey, you!" "Move it outta here, huh?" "Hey, Eddie!" "Come in here." "I got some great new stuffto showyou." "This is fantastic." "What areyou gonna do with it?" " Probably file it away and never see it again." " Ah, it's such a waste." "Why, ifl had halfthe chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage." "The story opens on these mysterious explosions." "Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo." "So the military are called in to solve the mystery." " You forgot the octopus." " No, no." "I'm saving that for my big underwater climax." "[ Chuckling ]" " [ Ringing ]" " Hello." "[Woman] Theysayhe was a girl trappedin a man's body." " I bet it hurt when they cut his thing off." " Ugh!" "What areyou ladies gabbin' about?" "You know that Christine Jorgensen freak?" "He" " She" " It's in Variety." "Some producer's makin' a biopic." "Really?" "I didn't read that story." "Yes, I've got Mr. Edward Wood on the line." "Could you please hold?" "Mr. Weiss?" "Ed Wood here." "Listen, I heard aboutyour new project and I was curious ifyou'd signed a directoryet." "Oh, you haven't!" "Well, ifwe could get together, I could explain toyou... why I'm more qualified to direct this than anyone else in town." "Well, I'd rather not go into that overthe phone." "All right." "Great!" "I'll seeyou then." "Bye!" "Eddie, I don't understand." "Why areyou the most qualified director forthe ChristineJorgensen story?" "Oh, it's just hogwash, hon." "I had to get into the door somehow." "[ Chuckles ]" "[Engine Knocking]" "[Sputtering]" "[Man ] No, I loveyou like a brother." "No, no, no." "No, no, no." "That's a falsehood!" "Come in!" "Look, when I said you could have the western territories, I didn't mean all 1 1 states!" "I meant California, Oregon, and what's that one on top?" "Washington, yeah, yeah!" "W" " Oh, really?" "Well, screwyou!" "Hi." "Can I helpyou?" "Yes." "I'm Ed Wood." "I'm here about directing the ChristineJorgensen picture." "[ Chuckling ] Well, a couple ofthings have changed." "It ain't gonna be the ChristineJorgensen story no more." "Goddamn Variety had to print the story before I got the rights." " Now that bitch is asking for the sky." " Ah, you're not gonna make the movie." "No, of course I'm gonna make the picture." "I already presold Alabama and Oklahoma." "Those repressed Okies, they go for that twisted, perverted stuff." "We'll just do it without the she-male." "We'll fictionalize it." " Is there a script?" " Fuck no." "But, there's a poster." "It opens in nine weeks in Tulsa." "Well, Mr. Weiss, look no further." "I'm your man." "I work fast and I'm a deal." "I write and direct." "And I'm good." "I just did a play in Hollywood and Victor Crowley himself praised its realism." "There's about 500 guys in this town that can saythe same thing." "On the phoneyou said you had some special qualifications?" "Mr. Weiss..." "I have never told anyone... what I'm about to tell you." "But I reallywant this job." "I like to dress in women's clothing." "You're a fruit?" "No, not at all." "I lovewomen." "Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them." " You're not a fruit." " No, I'm all man." "I even fought in W.W. Two." "Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform." "Ya got to be kidding me." "Confidentially, I even paratrooped wearing a brassiere and panties." "I tell ya, I wasn't scared ofbeing killed, but I was terrified of getting wounded... and having the medics discover my secret." " Soyou think this qualifies you to make my movie?" " Yes!" "I know what it's like to live with a secret... and worry about what people are gonna think ofya." "My girlfriend still doesn't know why her sweaters are always stretched out." "Ed, you seem like a nice kid." "Look around you." "I don't hire directors with burning desires to tell their stories." "I make movies like Chained Girls." "I need someone with experience who can shoot a film in four days and make me a profit." "I'm sorry." "That's all that matters." "Can I get you anything else, kid?" "Too constrictive!" "I can't even fold my arms." "Gee, Mr. Lugosi, I've never had any complaints." "This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in." "Your selection is quite shoddy." "You're wasting mytime!" " Mr. Lugosi?" " I told you I don't want any ofyour goddamn coffins!" "No, no!" "I don't work here." " Then who areyou?" "What doyou want?" " I don't want anything." " I'm just a really big, big fan." "I've seen all your movies." " [ Scoffs ]" " Mr. Lugosi, why areyou buying a coffin?" " I'm planning on dying soon." " No!" " Yes!" "I'm embarking on another bus and truck tour of Dracula." "Twelve cities in ten days, ifthat's conceivable." "Doyou know that I sawyou perform Dracula in Poughkeepsie in 1 938?" " That was a terrible production." "Renfield was a drunk!" " I thought it was great." "You know, you're much scarier in real life than you are in the movie." "Thankyou." "I even waited outside to getyour autograph, butyou never came out." "Well, I apologize." "When I play Dracula, I put myselfinto a trance." "It takes me much time to reemerge." "Oh, there's my bus." "Shit, where is my transfer?" " Say, don'tyou have a car?" " I refuse to drive in this country." "Too many madmen." "I've got a car." "[Engine Knocking]" "Boy, Mr. Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life." " When is your next picture coming out?" " I have no next picture." "You gotta be jokin'." "A great star likeyou, you must have dozens of'em lined up." "Back in the old days, yes." "But now, no one gives two fucks for Bela." " Butyou're a big star." " No more." "I haven't worked in fouryears." "This business, this town, it chews you up, then spits you out." "I'm just an ex-bogeyman." "Make a right." "[RadiatorHissing, Engine Knocking, Wheezing]" "They don't want the classic horror films anymore." "Today, it's all giant bugs." "Giant spiders, giant grasshoppers." "Who would believe such nonsense?" "The old ones were much spookier;" "they had castles and full moons." "Theywere mythic." " They had a poetry to them." " Yes." "And you know what else?" "The women" "The women prefer the traditional monsters." "The women." "Huh." "The pure horror, it both repels and attracts them." "Because in their collective unconsciousness... they have the agony of childbirth." "The blood-- The blood is horror." "You know, I never thought ofthat." "Take myword for it." "Ifyou want to make out with a young lady... you take her to see Dracula." "[ Chuckling ]" "[Dogs Whining, Barking]" "Eh, what a mess." "Mywife of 20 years left me last month." " I'm not much of a housekeeper." " [Dogs Barking]" " All right, I'm coming." "I'll feed you, my darlings." " I'd better get going." "But perhaps we could get together again some time, Mr. Lugosi." "Certainly." "But now, the children ofthe night are calling me. [ Chuckling ]" "Uh-- [ Nervous Chuckle]" " Good day." " Good day." "Sweetie, you won't believe it." "I've got incredible news." " You got the job!" " No, I didn't get the job." " But something better happened." " Better than not getting the job." "Yes!" "I met a movie star." " Somebody really big." " Who?" "Robert Taylor?" "No." "A horror movie star." " Boris Karloff?" " Close." "The other one." "You met..." "Basil Rathbone!" "Oh, to heckwith you." "I met Bela Lugosi." " Why, I thought he was dead." " No, he's very much alive." "Well... sort of." "He's old and frail, but he's still Bela Lugosi and he's really nice." " I can't even remember the last time I saw him in a picture." " It's a shame." "He's such a great actor and no one uses him anymore." "So, did you get his autograph?" "No, it wasn't like that at all." "Itwas just the two ofus and wewere talking." "He treated me like a friend." "Yeah, well, he's a bum." " No, he's not." "Doyou have any idea how much money he made for this studio?" "Dracula, The Black Cat, The Raven." "Yeah?" "Well, now he's a junkie." "He don't deserve to work." " That is not true!" " He's so great, you hire him." "[ Chuckles ]" "Yeah, well, I would ifl could." " [Children ] Trick ortreat!" " [Girl] The house looks like theyhave lots ofkids." "Ooh, those eyes." "He gives me the willies." "Uh, I hate it when she interrupts the picture." "She doesn't show 'em the proper respect." "I think she's a honey." "Look at those jugs." "But he stood me up at the restaurant." "I guess I shouldn't have picked a steak house." "And then I went out with the wolfman." "Ugh!" "What an evening." " I didn't know whether to kiss him good night" " Vampira... you will come under my spell." "You will be my slave of love." "My gosh, Bela!" "How do you do that?" "You must be double-jointed." "And you must be Hungarian." "Vampira, look at me." "Look into my eyes." "You're watching our Halloween movie, White Zombie... starring Bela Lugosi, John Harron, Madge Bellamy... and a bunch of other people I've never heard of." "[ Sighs ]" "I'm very tired." "I need to take my medicine." " Doyou want me to get it foryou?" " No." "Thankyou, Eddie." "I'll be all right." "?" "[ Soundtrack]" "?" "[Continues]" " [CrashingSound] - [Bela ] Oh, shit." "[ Exhales ] I feel much better!" " [Doorbell Rings ]" " Children!" "I love children!" "[ Together] Trick or treat!" "[ Screaming ]" "Aren't you scared, little boy?" "I'm going to drink your blood." "You're not a real vampire." "Those teeth don't frighten me." "How about these?" "[ Screams ]" "Hey, how'd you do that?" "Dentures." "Lost my pearlies in the war." "So, what was the important newsyou couldn't tell me on the phone, again?" "I started thinking about what you were saying about how your movies need to make a profit." "What is the one thing, ifyou put it in a movie, it'll be successful?" " Tits." " No, better than that." "A star." "Kid, you must have me confused with David Selznick." "I don't make major motion pictures;" "I make crap." "Yes!" "But ifyou take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something." " Yeah." "Crap with a star." " No, something better!" "Something impressive." "Maybe the biggest money-maker you've ever had." "[ Sighs ] Fine, all right." "You may be right, but it doesn't frickin' matter." "I can't afford a star, so what are we even talkin' about?" "All right." "What ifl told you you could have a star for $1,000?" "Who?" " Lugosi?" " Yes!" "Lugosi!" " Isn't he dead?" " No, he's not dead." "He lives in Baldwin Hills." "I met him recently and he reallywants to be in our movie." "Whywould Lugosi want to do a sex change flick?" "Because he's myfriend!" "All right, fine!" "You can direct it." "I want ascript in three days." "We startshooting a week from Monday." "Mr. Weiss, thankyou so much." "You won't regret it." "I won't let you down." "[Typing]" "But Bunny, you're perfect for this job." "You know these people." "I need all the transsexuals and transvestites I can get." "No, I don't care ifthey're not actors." "I want realism!" " I want this film to tell the truth." " [Knocking On Door]" "Coming!" "I've waited all my life for this shot, and I'm not gonna blow it." " Eddie, you got a new movie for me, eh?" " Yes!" "It's gonna be a great picture and you'll loveyour character." "Have a seat." "Listen, Bunny?" "Bela's here." "I gotta go." "Listen, hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites!" "I need transvestites!" "All right." "Bye." "[ Sighs ]" "Eddie, what kind of a movie is this?" "Well, it's about how people have two personalities:" "the side they show to the world, and then the secret person they hide inside." "LikeJekyll and Hyde." "I've always wanted to playJekyll and Hyde." "I'm looking forward to this production." "[ Chuckling ]" "Well, your part's a little different." "You're like the god that looks over all the characters and oversees everything." "I don't understand." "You control everyone's fate." "You're like the puppetmaster." " Ah, so I pull the strings!" " Yes, you pull the strings." "" Pull the strings." I like that!" "Honey!" "I got a little surprise foryou." "Wipe offyour hands." " I finished my script." " [ Gasps ] Oh!" "Ed, I'm so proud ofyou!" "I'll read it as soon as I get home." "Well, I'd really like to knowwhatyou think." "Why don'tyou go in the bedroom and take a look?" "I'll wait." "Go ahead." "Takeyourtime." "So that's where my sweater's been." "How long haveyou been doing this?" "Since I was a kid." "My mom wanted a girl, so she used to dress me in girlie clothing." "Just became a habit." "Jesus Christ!" "And you nevertold me?" "Well, this is myway oftelling you." "What, by putting it in a fucking script for everyone to see?" "What kind ofsick mind operates like that?" "And what about this, this so-called Barbara character... that's obviously me?" "I mean, this is our life." "It's so embarrassing!" " Of course it is." "That's why you should playthe part." " Oh, you got nerve, buddy." " It's a darn good role." " That's not the issue!" "God, how can you act so casual when you're dressed like that?" "It makes me feel comfortable." "Oh,just like in the script." "Exactly." "So what doyou say?" "Do we break up?" "Or doyou want to make the movie with me?" "They makeyou tall, and you're flashy." "Theywant that." "Okay." "But theywant professionalism, so nix on the Nelly... without losing naivete, okay?" "Now, the goodnews isyou're probablygoing to get hired becauseyou look like Peggy Lee." "But I don't want anybody else to resent that, okay?" "Please?" "'Cause there's enough for everybody, exotics too." "All right, because ifyou're not going to smile, please don't bother." "You'll embarrass me." "This is George Weiss." "He's done some very important things;" "he's a nice person to know." " An important person to know." " I thoughtyou were gonna make a sex change film!" " It's still a sex change film." " Yeah!" "Five pages before it ends!" " The rest is about some schmuck who likes angora sweaters!" " I don't think he's a schmuck." "What about this title?" "My poster says, I Changed MySex." "So change the poster." "Trust me, you'll be better off." "This story's gonna grab people." "It's about this guy, he's crazy about this girl, but he likes to wear dresses." "Should he tell her?" "Should he not tell her?" "He's torn." "This is drama!" "Fine!" "Shootwhatever baloneyyou want." "Just make sure it's seven reels long." "Testing." "Excuse me." "Can I get everyone's attention, please?" "Couldyou gatheraround?" "I've got something to say." "Everybody, we're about to embark on quite a journey: four days of hard work." "But when it's over, we'll have a picture that'll entertain, enlighten... andmaybe even move millions ofpeople." "Excuse me, Eddie." "I don't mean to interrupt." "I'm worried about the light." "Good thinking." "All right, we'll talk about days three and four later." "Let's get that first shot off." "Scene 1 7, Glenda looking in the window." " [Camera Whirring] - [Ed]And... action!" "[ Sighs ]" "[Ed] And... cut!" " Print that!" "Let's move on!" " Don't you want a second take for protection?" "What's to protect?" "It was perfect!" "Come on!" "Hey!" "Cops!" "We don't have a permit." "Run!" "[ Groaning ]" "Come on." "Let's go." "[Hammering]" " [Weiss ] What's going on with these revisedpages?" " [Man ] Mr. Lugosi's here." "Oh, my God!" "Mr. Lugosi's here!" "Everyone!" "Everyone!" "Everyone, come on." "Come in here." "Listen." "When he walks onto the stage, treat him normal." "I know Bela Lugosi's a world-famous star and you're all very excited... but look, we are professionals." "So,just treat him with respect." "Everything will be all right." "Bela!" "Great to seeya!" "8:00 on the dot." "Right on time." " I'm always on time." " Ofcourseyouare." "[Ed] We've got a big day plannedforyou." "But first we're gonna start out kinda easy withyou in that armchair over there." "Then once you're up to speed and cooking', we'll reset and bring in the lab equipment." " Eddie?" " Huh?" " What about my money?" " Huh?" "Oh." "What areyou people doing?" "Get back towork!" "All right, people." "Let's get ready." "Mr. Lugosi, I knowyou're very busy... but, um, can I have your autograph?" "Certainly." "You know which movie ofyours I love, Mr. Lugosi?" "The Invisible Ray." "You were great as Karloff's sidekick." "Karloff?" "Sidekick?" "Fuckyou!" "Karloff does not deserve to smell my shit!" "That limey cocksucker can rot in hell forall I care!" "What happened?" "How dare that asshole bring up Karloff?" "You think it takes talent to play Frankenstein?" "It's all makeup and, and, grunting. [ Grunts ]" "I agree." "Bela, I agree 100%." "Now, Dracula, that's a role that requires talent." "Of course!" "Dracula requires presence." "It's allin the eyes and the voice..." " and the hand." " That's right." "That's right." "You seem a little agitated." "You wanna go outside and get some air?" "Bullshit!" "I'm ready now." "Roll the camera!" "We're rolling." " Sound." "Speed." " Scene 97, take one." "Mark." "[ Quietly] Action." "Beware." "Beware." "Beware ofthe big, green dragon... that sits on your doorstep." "He eats little boys... puppy dog tails... and big, fat snails." "Beware." "Take care." "Beware." "Wait!" "Pull the string!" "Pull the string!" "Cut." "[ Whispering ] Perfect." "But Georgie, I'm proud." "I wrote, directedandstarred in it... just like Orson Welles did in Citizen Kane." "Yeah, well, Orson Welles didn't wear angora sweaters, did he?" "How canyoujust walk aroundlike that in front ofall these people?" "Well, hon, nobody's bothered but you." "Look around." "Ed, this isn't the real world!" "You've surrounded yourself with a bunch ofweirdos." "Oh, say it a little louder." "I don't think Bela heard you." "[ Sighs ] Dolores." "I need your help." "[Ed] Mymind's in a muddle, like in a thick fog." "I thought I could stop wearing these things." "I tried." "Honestly, I tried." "Glen." "I don't fully understand... but maybe together we can work this out." "Music swells." "Cut and print!" " [ Squeals ]" " It's a wrap." "How doyou do?" "I'm here to see Mr. Feldman." "What's your name?" "Edward D. Wood,Jr." "He's in the executive building." " You can park in the reserved section." " Thanks very much." " Please, sit down." " Thanks." "So, what areyou bringing me?" "Looks likeyou gotsome film cans." "Well, some people bring their resumes." "I've brought my own movie." "Really." "Well, good foryou." "I just shot this baby for Screen Classics." "It opens next week." "Screen Classics?" "No, I don't know them." "There's something you should know." "Nobody in town has seen this picture, so I'm giving you first crack at my talents." "Thankyou." "And I'm anxious to see it." "[ Sighs ]" "So, what's up next foryou?" "I don't believe in thinking small, so I've got a whole slate ofpictures foryou." "You ready?" "Okay." ""The Vampire's Tomb."" ""The Ghoul Goes West."" "And..." "" Doctor Acula."" "Doctor Acula?" "I don't get it." "" Doctor..." "Racula."" "Oh, I get it." "I don't like it." "But it'll star Bela Lugosi." "[ Chuckles ] Bela Lugosi?" "Lugosi's all washed-up." "What elseyou got?" "Well, I-I do have..." "another project." "I wasn't going to tell you about it." "Lugosi's in it, but it's a small part." "The leadis an ingenue." "A sterling, young actress-- Dolores Fuller." "The title ofthe film:" "" Bride ofthe Atom"!" "Ah." "Atomic age stuff, huh?" "I like it." "I like it." "I tell you what, Mr. Ward." "Why don't you leaveyour film cans with me." "And my associates and I will take a look atyour little opus... andmaybe we can do some business together." "Take care." "Beware." "Pull the string!" "Pull the string!" "What the hell is this?" " Is this an actual movie?" " It can't be!" "[Narrator] Give this man satin undies, a dress, sweaterandskirt... or even the lounging outfit he has on..." " and he's the happiest human being in the world." " Wait a m i nute." " [ Narrator Continues ]" " Wait a minute." "That guy in the dress." "That's the guy I met today." "Oh, this has got to be a put-on." "[Narrator] These things are his comfort." "[ Chuckling ] This is probably another one of BillyWellman's practical jokes." "Hejust entered the street dressed in the clothes he so much desires to wear." "But, onlyifhe reallyappears female:" " long hair, make-up, clothing, the actual contours ofa girl." " Oh, God!" "Most transvestites do not want to change their life, their bodies." "This is funny." "This is funny." "Thank you." "Georgie, I thought Glen Or Glenda?" "was opening this week." "Where's the ads?" "Where's the ads?" "The ads are in Alabama, Indiana, Missouri, you schmuck!" "It ain't gonna play in L.A.!" "Why not?" "Nobodywants to see this piece ofshit!" " Hey, you can't talk thatway about my movie!" " I wish itwas your movie!" "I wish I hadn't blown every dime I ever made into making this stink bomb!" "And ifl ever seeya again, I'll kill ya!" "Hello?" "Georgie?" "[ Crowd Cheering ]" "[ Crowd Cheering ]" " Guess where I'm going nextweek?" " I don't know." "Where?" "Mexico." " Guess what I'm doing when I get there." " I don't know." "Lie on a beach." "Wrong." "I'm getting my first series ofhormone injections." "When those girls kick in... they're gonna take out my organs and make me a woman." " Areyou serious?" " It's something I've wanted to do for a long time." "But it wasn't until I sawyour movie that I realized I have to take action!" " Good-bye, penis!" " Would you please keep it down." "The "Super Swedish Angel," TorJohnson!" "[ Cheering, Whistling ]" "My gosh, look at that guy." "He's a mountain!" "[Bell Rings]" "And after I'm a woman,Jean-Claude and I are going to be married." " I'm going to be a June bride." " He's a monster." "Can you imaginewhat that guy would look like in a movie?" "[ Grunting ]" "Yeah, yeah!" "Yeah!" "Mmm." "More neck." " Mr.Johnson, congratulations on yourvictory." " Thankyou." " Did you bring mywater?" " No, I'm not the water boy." "I'm a movie director." " Movies?" "Like the Mickey Mouse?" " Sure." " I'll getyou next week!" " Yeah, right." "In your dreams!" "Tor-- Uh, Mr.Johnson." " You ever fancy the notion ofbecoming an actor?" " Not good-looking enough." "Well, I think you're quite handsome." "Do mytoes." "So, anyway, I've got this new script, Bride OfTheAtom." "And there's a part I believeyou're ideal for." "Lobo." "He's tough, he's a brute." "But he's got a good heart." "At the end ofthe picture, he saves the girl." "[ Chuckles ] I like!" "When do movie shoot?" "Hopefully, very soon." "I'm just waiting for the final okay from my good pal at Warners, Mr. Feldman." "[ Ringing ]" " Wood Productions." " Eddie, help me." " Bela?" " Eddie, please come over." "Bela?" "Bela?" "Bela!" "[Dogs Whimpering]" "Bela!" "Bela?" "What happened?" "[ Weakly] Eddie." "I didn't feel well." " Come on, let me getyou to the hospital." " No hospital." "Just take me to the couch." " Should I call a doctor?" " No." "This happens all the time." "Is there anything I can get foryou?" "Water or a blanket?" "Goulash." "I don't know how to make goulash." "Bela, what's in the needle?" "Morphine." "With a Demerol chaser." "Oh, Eddie." "Eddie, I'm so broke." "I don't know what I'm going to do." "[ Sobbing ]" "Don't worry, Bela." "I won't let you down." "Mr. Feldman?" "Ed Wood." "Yeah, listen, I haven't been able to get through, so I just showed up." "Yeah!" "Right out front." "So, we gonna be working together?" "Really?" "Worst film you ever saw." "Well, my next one will be better." "Hello." "Hello." "[ Sighs ] I'm no good." "Oh, Ed, it was just one man's opinion." "Bela needs a job." "I can't even get a film going." "Of course I can't." "I made the worst movie ofall time." "Oh, that's ridiculous." "All I wanna do is tell stories." "The things that I find interesting." "Well, maybeyou're not studio kind ofmaterial." "Maybeyou just need to raise the moneyyourself." "The movie is called Bride OfTheAtom." "Itwill star Bela Lugosi." "There are quarter shares available at $1 5,000 each." "Yes, that's right." "The Bela Lugosi." "He's still alive." "Huh?" "Is he available Friday night?" "Well, gee, I suppose so." "Why?" " [Laughter] - "Greetings, I am the Count."" ""Greetings, I am Slick Slomopavitz, Seeker ofAdventure." ""Audience laughs, applauds." "'Say, that's a kooky place to sleep.'"" " "It is my home." - "'Oh, tract housing, huh?" "' Laugh." " You need a new real estate agent." - [Applause ]" ""I beg to differ." "This casket incap-- incarpertate--"" "No, Bela, that's "incorporates."" "Look, why don't you just say, "This casket has--"" "How do they expect a Hungarian to pronounce this dialogue?" "This" " This live television is madness!" "Furthermore, Ipredict... by April 1 9, 1 970..." "I predict... men will have colonized Mars." "Millions of people will live there." "Wow!" "Ain't that somethin'?" "And now we takeyou to a castle in Transylvania." "Watch out." "The landlord's a realpain in the neck." "?" "[ Organ Playing Bach's Toccata And Fugue I n D Minor ]" "Greetings!" "I am the Count!" "Greetings, pal!" "I'm Slick Slomopavitz, Seeker of Adventure!" " [Audience Laughing]" " Hey, what a kooky place to sleep." "Kind of reminds me of my house." "What a dump!" "Some places got a Murphy bed;" "this place got a Murphy shower." "I still don't know where to hang the towels." "I beg to differ." "Beg to differ?" "A bloodsucker, right?" "I'm talkin' about my towels." "[ Clears Throat ]" "Greetings!" "I... am the Count." " Damn!" " ?" "[Band]" "[ Angry Muttering ]" "A bum is what he is." "I told you we should've got Karloff!" " Ah, don't worry about it, Bela." "You're better than all this." " I never said I could ad-lib." " Forget it!" "We'll make our own movie and you'll be a big star again." " Aha!" "Mr. Lugosi, it is an unparalleled privilege to meetyou, sir." "Allow me to introduce myself." "I am Criswell." "It's a pleasure." "Ahh, cheerup." "Don't lose heart overwhat happened tonight." "I predict... your next project will be an outstanding success!" "Wow!" "And who mayyou be?" " Edward D. Wood,Jr." " Ahh!" " The director of Glen Or Glenda?" " How'd you know?" "I am Criswell." "I know all." " ?" "[Latin ] - [ Criswell, Faint ]" " ?" "[ Continues ]" " And bingo!" "Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Bring me two more Beefeater martinis." "Ed, uh, anotherwhiskey." "Dagmar, a rum and coke?" "Moustapha and King are Chablis." "Bela, would you like a wine?" "No." "I never drink... wine." "[ Laughing ]" "Say, Cris, how'd you know we'd be living on Mars by 1 970?" " I guessed." " Really?" "I made it up." "It's horse shit." "Eddie, there's no such thing as a psychic." "People believe my folderol because I wear a black tuxedo." " It's that easy?" " Eddie, we're in show biz." "It's all about razzle-dazzle, appearances." "Ifyou look good and you talkwell, people will swallow anything." "We are going to have the most terrifying monster ever seen on film." "A ghastly creature created from an atomic mutation!" "I don't like scary movies." "I like the ones with love stories." "That's just what this movie is:" "a heartbreaking romance." "You're quite a specimen." " And you're going to be in the picture?" " Yeah." "I play Lobo." "I predict Bride OfTheAtom will be the biggest moneymaker ofall time." "Andthis is lovelystarlet Dolores Fuller, who willplayJanet Lawton." "My pleasure, ma'am." "Now, how much will this picture cost?" "Well, in a normal studio it'd be about a million bucks... with all theirwasteful overhead and fancy offices." "Butwe're more efficient, sowe could bring it in at about 70 grand." "Oh." "Well, I shall certainly consider it." " [ Ed ] Well, good-bye." " [ Man ] Good night, Ed." "Keep in touch." "Good-bye." "Well, Eddie, how'd we do?" "We didn't make a nickel." "[Woman ] I cannot believe I'm in Hollywood." " You know, Daddy didn't want me to move out here." " [Bartender] Uh-huh." "Ma'am, your bill comes to $2.20." "Oh." "Uh, okay." "I hope you don't mind... but all I have is a fifty;" "Ijust came from my banker's." " That's all right." " Thankyou." "Excuse me." "You just moved here?" "Yes." "Hollywood is, oh, so exciting." " Isn't it?" " [ Giggles ]" "Pleased to make your acquaintance." "I'm Loretta King." "Edward D. Wood,Jr." " [Bartender] Hi." "Wouldyou like some water?" " No!" "No water." "No liquids." "I'm terribly allergic to them." "You know, I work in Hollywood." "I'm a producer." "Really?" "Wow!" "I would love to be involved in that." "Is that right?" "Well, maybe I can helpyou out." "Haveyou ever thought about investing in a motion picture?" "Perhaps a small amount ofmoney." "How much doyour motion pictures cost?" "Well, my new one, I think, would be about $60,000." "That's all?" "That seems very reasonable for an entire picture." "[ Chuckles ]" "Would you-- Would you like to, uh..." " have a look at the-- at the photoplay?" " Oh, sure." "Oh, my." "This is very interesting." "Say, doyou think it would be possible for me to maybe play one ofthese parts?" "Oh, you want to be an actress too." "Well, of course." "There's a couple of parts I can think of right now thatyou might be perfect for." "There's, uh, the secretary in the newspaper office, the file clerk, um" "Hmm." "Those sound kind ofsmall." "Here's one that looks good-- Janet Lawton." "I'dsure like toplayher." "Janet Lawton." " Yes." "Janet Lawton is clearly the part to play." "Can'tyou just see me in the part?" "Yes!" "You'd be perfect." "You bastard!" "You two-timing, dress-wearing son ofa bitch!" "Honey, it was the onlyway I could get the movie made!" "Who doyou think's been paying the rent?" "Who's been helping you typeyour scripts and do all your grunt work?" " I am sorry!" "What did you want me to say?" " You were supposed to say..." "" No." "I wrote that part for my girlfriend Dolores!"" "Snowball, there are plenty of other parts." "Like what?" " The secretary, the file clerk." " Aaaaah!" "You... asshole!" "This is gonna be Bela's laboratory, so it should be real impressive..." "This is gonna be Bela's laboratory, so it should be real impressive... just like one ofthose " Mad Scientist" movies." "I want test tubes, beakers and one ofthose electrical things that buzzes." " You mean a Tesla coil?" " Fine." "Whatever." "Hop to it!" "Right!" "Right." " Eddie?" " Yes?" " Which dress doyou like better?" " Hmm." "I don't know." "Say, Bill, which dress works better foryou, the red one or the green one?" " Which one is the red one?" " What doyou mean?" "I mean, I can't see the difference;" "I'm color blind." "But I kinda like the dark gray one." "At Universal, we usedtoshoot one ortwo scenes a day." "But Eddie can knock off twenty, thirty." " He's incredible!" " [Ed]And... action!" "Okay, you're Dr. Eric Vornoff... and you're upset." "You've worked very hard on this experiment and you don't want to see it fail." "N-No, you're not that upset." "You wanna keep moving." "You wanna go through that door." "And... cut!" "Beautiful." "Print it." "Let's move immediately to scene 52." " Tor, you in place?" " [Tor] Yeah." " Great." "Roll camera!" " Rolling." "Slate." " Cue rainstorm." " [ Water Dripping ]" "And..." "action, Tor." "Okay." "You're Lobo." "You're upset." "You've worked very hard helping Dr. Vornoffwith this experiment." "You don't wanna see it fail." "No, no." "You're not that upset." "You wanna keep moving." "You've got to get through that door." "And cut!" "Perfect!" " Print it." "Let's move on." " Don'tyou wanna do another take, Ed?" "Looks like big baldy had a little trouble gettin' through the door." "No, it's fine." "It's real." "You know, in actuality, Lobo would have to struggle with that problem every day." "All right, people, let's get ready." "Actors!" "I must have my actors!" "Thereyou are." "Loretta, Tor, I wanna explain this scene;" "it's a little complicated, but" " Bela, you'll be sitting there." "Okay?" " [ Electricity Buzzing ]" "I'm not getting near that goddamn thing." " One ofthem burned me on The Return OfChandu." " All right." " Then you'll be sitting there." " Good." "Great." "All right, gang, here's the scene." "Loretta, you're in a trance; you glide in and get on the operating table." "Now, Tor, you're supposed to tie her down, butyou have an angora fetish... and when you rub that swatch ofangora, it makes you refuse." "So then Bela has to disciplineyou." "All right?" "Great!" "Let's do it!" "Action!" "Strap her to the table." "Do as I command you!" " I'll teach you to disobey me!" " Aaaargh!" " You will obey!" " Uhhhh!" " Strap herin!" " Uhhhh!" "Strap her in!" "I command you!" " Wood!" "Your check bounced." " I'll getyou the money later." " No, I need it now." " [Bela ] I'll teachyou to disobeyme!" "Cut!" "I am terribly sorry to botheryou while you're shooting... but the guy that owns the stage needs his money." "Well, then, you should pay him, shouldn'tyou?" "Yes." "Exactly." "I kind of need it now." "W-What areyou looking at me like that for?" "I already gaveyou mythree hundred." "Right." "And now I need the other sixty thousand." "What other sixty thousand?" "The other sixty thousand you said you'd give to me." "You misunderstood, Eddie." "I gaveyou everything I have in the world-- three hundred dollars." "Well, herewe go again." "[ Ed ] Let me tell ya, ya can't lose." "It's scary." "And ifyou don't like that, it's romantic." "Bela Lugosi will portray Dr. EricVornoff." "And lovely, lovely, lovely ingenue Loretta King... is reporter Janet Lawton." " I don't know." "Lugosi looks pretty old." " Huh?" "Which role does Vampira play?" "Vampira?" "Why do you ask?" "She's standing right over there." "Well, she plays..." "Excuse me one minute." " [ Woman Laughing ]" " Pardon me." "Miss Vampira?" "Yes?" "Uh, you don't know me, but I'm Ed Wood." "I'm a film producer and I'm currently in production on a science fiction piece... with Bela Lugosi and Swedish wrestlerTorJohnson." "I don't understand." "Doyou want my autograph?" "No." "No, I" " I think myfilm is perfect foryou." "You want me to show it on myTV program." "Well, I havenothing to dowith that." " You should call the station manager at Channel 7." " No, no." "No, no, no, no." "I don't wantyou to show the movie, I wantyou to be in it." "Let me explain." "We started shooting, but after three days we got shut down." "Now we're having a backers party to raise some more money." "So I thought perhaps you'd like to come overjust to say "howdy" to some ofthe backers." "Look, I'm with some friends and we're about to eat." "Please!" "It would just take one second." "Come overandmeet the backers." "There is a reallynice dentist from Oxnard." "Look, buddy, I've got real offers from real studios." "I don't need to blow some dentist for a part." "Forget it." "Miss Vampira!" " Please." " Ohh!" "Let's go." "I'm getting a bad feeling about this." "Let's get out ofhere." "Yeah, I think you're right." "Thankyou, folks, for comin' tonight, but we better go." "And then Dr. Vornoff falls into the pit... and his own octopus attacks and eats him." " The end." " Whew!" " Well, that's quite a story." " Yes." "So, uh, you made the movie... and now you wanna make it again?" "No." "We shot ten minutes ofthe movie, and now we're looking for completion funds." "Oh, son, you're too vague." "[Machine Starting, Whirring]" " Billy Bob!" "You're cuttin' 'em too lean." "Mr. McCoy." " How can I make you happy?" " [ Spits ]" "Okay." "Two things." "Number one:" "I want the movie to end with a big explosion." "Sky full ofsmoke." "Yes." "But it ends with Dr. Vornoff falling into the pit." "Not anymore." "Numbertwo:" "I got a son." "He's a little slow, but a good boy." "And somethin' tells me he'd make a helluva leading' man." "Sounds perfect." "This is unbelievable." "I woulda bet a million bucks that Ed wouldn't finish this picture." "Yeah, well, it ain't finished yet, kid;" "anything can happen." "Stay out of scratching distance." " Poodle, you made it." "I wasn't sureyou got my message." " Well, of course I made it." " Today's the file clerk's big scene." " That's right." "I see the usual gang of misfits and dope addicts are here." " [Man ]Janet, I wantyou" " Say, who's the lug?" "Str" " I wantyou staying away from the old Willows place." "Why, that's Tony McCoy." "He will be portraying Lieutenant Dick Craig." " [TonyContinues Fumbling Lines ]" " Really." " How much money did he put up?" " None." "But his dad gave me fifty grand." "Hmm." "Wood Productions, the mark of quality." "Listen, the movie's getting made;" "that's all that matters." " Hello, Harry." " Oh, hi, Dolores." "Oh!" "You're Dolores." "I've heard so much aboutyou." "I'm Loretta King." "Oh, here, take the chair." "Oh, don't be silly." "Let Harry finish." "You still need some more work." "No." "I'm finished." " All I needed was a touch-up." " Hmm." "That mole still shows." "Uh, ladies!" "You both look fine." "Why don't we talk about the scene?" "Okay,Janet Lawton has just discovered... that Dr. Vornoffbought the old Willows estate... so now she wants to prove that all the monster stories are true." "Well, Eddie, what's my motivation?" "You're the file clerk." "You're running into the next room and bump intoJanet." "What is our relationship?" "Arewe good friends, or is she just a casual acquaintance?" "Dolores, I have five days to complete this picture." "Don't get goofy on me." "Action!" " Hi,Janet." " Oh, hi, Marge." "Janet, still on the monster hunt?" " What doyou think?" "I think the boss has been looking foryou all day." "Somethingabout thepolice wanting those monsterstories 86'd." " You've got the whole town in a panic." " I can't hearyou." " I said, you've got the who" " I know what you said, but I can't hearyou." "I get it." "Seeya later." "And... cut!" "That was perfect." "Of course it was." "Bra-vo!" "Bravo!" " Magnifico." " Cris, you made it." "Thanks a lot." "Naturally." "Always happy to help with a little larceny." "All right, everybody, that's it for today." "The prop crew has a little errand to run." "Paul." "Connie." "Darn." "I thought they kept this open." "[Tor] Lobo will fix." "Good boy." " [ Connie ] Wow!" " [Paul] This place gives me the creeps." " Let's get the hell outta here." " Not so fast." "Not 'til we get it down." "There it is." "Paul, go unhook it." "Right." "Fantastic." "It's beautiful." " You sure this is gonna work?" " Yes." " [ Creaking ]" " You sure?" "[Ed] Yes, hurry." "Do it." "[ Criswell] My God!" "We killed him." "Tor?" "Better than wrestling." "Lights!" "[Tony, Reading] "Now,Janet, I wantyou staying'away..." ""from that old Willows place." "I want" "" Now,Janet, I w" " Great." " " I want you" " Connie!" " I want you staying away--"" " The octopus has to live in the lake." " This is kind of a stream." "No!" "It has to be underwater." "Let me look at this." "Okay." "Go set up by the lake." "Eddie." "I'm so tired." "I don't know ifl can handle a night shoot." " Nonsense." "You look great." " [ Sighs ]" "All right, look." "Why don'tyou have a nice nap and we'll shoot around you a littlewhile." " Thanks, buddy." " You'rewelcome." "All right, you kids." "Hey, this is looking fantastic!" "Paul, where's the octopus motor?" " What octopus motor?" " To make his legs move." "Don't blame me!" "You didn't say anything about a motorwhen I was on the ceiling!" "What's he talking" "Paul lost the octopus motor." "All right, let's shoot this fucker." "Great." "Where do I go?" " You'll be fighting with the octopus." " Out there?" " Yes." " What happened to the stream?" "Well, this is gonna look a lot better." "We have to match it to the stock footage ofthe octopus underwater." "Aw, for Christ's sake." "Ehh." " Goddamn, it's cold!" " It'll warm up onceyou're in it." "Fuckyou!" "You come out here!" "Hey!" "Throwme that whiskey!" "Ahh." "How doyou turn this on?" "Well... somebody misplaced the octopus motor... so when you get in there and fight with him, shake his legs around." "Looks like he's killin' ya." "Okay." "[ Sighs ]" "You know I turned down Frankenstein?" " What?" " After I did Dracula... the studio offered me Frankenstein, but I turned it down." "Part wasn't sexy enough." "Too degrading for a big star like me." "Bela..." "I have 25 scenes to shoot tonight." "Oh." "Sorry." "Don't let me slow you down." "Okay." "All right." "[Ed] All right." "All right, let's put it on film!" " [Ed] Camera!" " [Bill] We're rolling!" " Sound!" " Ed, we don't have sound." "Oh." "And... action!" "[ Screaming ]" "[ Screaming Continues ]" "And... cut!" "That was perfect!" "[ Ed ] Come on!" "Come on, troops!" "Have a nice cup o' joe, you'll feel much better." "All right." "All right, Harry." "Mr. Wood?" "I only got one hour of sleep last night." "Yeah, well, I got no sleep, and I feel great." "Go get' em, kid, go get 'em." " I'm gettin' too old for this." " Great work, Bill." "Go ahead." "Go get 'em." "Be careful." "Don't hurt him." "Don't scratch the tentacles." "Bela..." "I wanna thankyou again for last night." "That's fine, Eddie." "All in the line of duty." "No, no, I wantyou to know how much I appreciate all you've done for me." "A great man likeyourself shouldn't have to bewandering through the muck at 4 a.m." "Well, there are not a lot offellas I'd do it for. [ Chuckles ]" "Say, I wrote something special forya." "I got to thinkin' about all the sacrifices you've made and I" "Well, I wroteyou a-- a new final speech." "Well, this is quite a scene, Eddie." "I know it's a lot to giveyou at the last minute, Bela, but" "These lines..." "I'll have no problem remembering." "Great." "All right, kids, let's knock 'em dead." "My dear Professor Strowski... twentyyears ago I was banned from my homeland." "I was classed as a madman, a charlatan." "Outlawedin the world ofscience... which previously honored me as a genius." "Now here... in this forsaken jungle hell..." "I have proven that I am all right!" "Yes!" "The authorities have learned how correct your findings were." "So Iam here... to bringyou home." "Home?" "I have no home." "Hunted." "Despised." "Living like an animal." "The jungle is my home." "But I shall show the world... that I can be its master!" "I shall perfect my own race ofpeople... a race ofatomic supermen... that will conquer the world!" "[ Sinister Laughter]" "Cut." "That's a wrap." "?" "[Samba ]" "Glen OrGlenda?" "Now, that was a hell ofa picture." "Yeah, but this new one is gonna be a million times better." "Is that possible?" "?" "[ "Que Sera Sera" ]" "Mr. Bunny, what's wrong?" "I heard you were becoming a lady." "Oh, that." "Mexico... was... a nightmare." "We got into a car accident;" "he was killed." "Our luggage... was stolen." "The surgeon turned out to be... a quack." "Ifit hadn't been for these men..." "I don't know... how I would've... survived." " ?" "[Rapid Drums ] - [People Screaming, Laughing]" "?" "[Drums Continue ]" "?" "[ Organ:" "East I ndian Theme ]" "[ Cheering, Applause ]" "Oh, wow!" "?" "[ Continues ]" "?" "[ Finishes ]" "You people are insane!" "You're wasting your lives making shit!" "Nobody cares!" "These movies are terrible!" "Dolores!" "Ed, it's over." "I need a normal life." " Did you really mean those things you sa" " I'm tired ofliving like this." " But, Poodle" " I just stuck it out so you could finish your movie... and now that's it's done, so am I." "[Vampira On TV] Ooh, that was soscary, it gave me goose bumps." "[ Vampira On TV] Ooh, that was so scary, it gave me goose bumps." "[ Goose Honking]" "No, dummy, I didn't say " goose," I said " goose bumps."" "Well, be sure to join me next week for The Mummy's Curse." "Until then, pleasant nightmares." " [ Blows Kiss ] - ?" "[Theme ]" "?" "[Continues ]" " [FloorDirector] Okay, folks, we're offthe air." " [Man ] That was a goodshow." "God, this show needs better jokes." " You got a phone call." " Who is it?" "I don't know." " Hello." " Vampira?" "Ed Wood here." " Who?" " Ed Wood." "Remember, I metyou at the Brown Derby?" "Oh, yeah, you." "Listen, I was wondering ifyou'd like to go out sometime, grab some dinner maybe." " You mean a date?" "I thoughtyou were a fag." " No, I'm just a transvestite." "So, how's about Friday night?" "Look, you seem like a nice guy, butyou're just not my type." "But keep in touch." "Let me know when your movie opens." "[TV] [Test Pattern Tone ]" " [ Rings ]" " Hello?" "Eddie, help me." "Bela?" "[ Sighs ]" " [Dog Barking]" " Bela." "[Dog Whines ]" " [Knocking]" " Bela!" "What do you want?" "You called me." "Remember?" "What areyou doing, Bela?" "I'm going to kill myself." " [ Whining ]" " My gosh, what happened?" "[Bela Groans ]" "[ Wheezing ] Eddie." "[ Panting ]" "I got a letter from the government." "They're cancelling my... unemployment." "It's all I've got." "Without it, I can't pay the rent." "Don'tyou have any savings?" "Eddie, I'm obsolete." "I have nothing to live for." "Tonight, I shall die." "Eddie!" " You should comewith me." " [ Hammer Cocks ]" " I don't think that's such a good idea." " It's a wonderful idea." "It'll bewonderful!" "We'll be at peace!" "In the afterlife, you don't have toworry about finding work." "Bela..." "I'm on your side." "Gimme the gun." "Ifyou give me the gun..." "I'll makeyou a drink." "What areyou drinking, Bela?" "Formaldehyde." "Straight up, or on the rocks?" "Eddie." "I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry." "Don't worry, Bela." " I'm sorry, Eddie. [ Sobbing ]" " Everything will be okay." "[ Gasps ] Oh, my goodness, you gave me the willies!" "You look like that Dracula guy." "My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself." "Forwhat reason?" "I have been a drug addict fortwentyyears." "I need help." "[Bela Screaming]" "[Screaming Continues ]" "Is that angora?" "Um, yes." "Don't you think angora has a tactile sensuality..." "Iacking in all other clothing?" "Yeah, I suppose." "It is awfully expensive." "Well, it's made from specially-bred rabbits... that live in the Himalayas." "Say, what areyou, an angora wholesaler?" "No." "No." "I'm in pictures." "I'm a director, writer, actor and producer." "Aw, come on." "Nobody does all that." "Oh, yes, they do." "Two people." "Orson Welles and me." "Wow." " Whatcha making'?" " Booties." "For my father." " Gets cold in the hospital." " Mmm." " Has he been here long?" " This is my thirteenth pair." " [DoorCloses ]" " Excuse me." "Excuse me, doctor." "I'm with Mr. Lugosi." "How is he?" "Well, there's a lot ofjunk in his system for such an old man." "Apparently he was addicted to morphine." "He tried to kick that and he got readdicted to methadone." " Is he gonna be okay?" " We'll do our best." " Hi, Lillian." " Oh, hi, Ed." "He's got a lot ofvisitors today." " He does?" " Mm-hmm." " [ Reporters Talking ] - [ Reporter] Smile." "That's it!" " [ Ed ] Hey!" "Hey!" " One more picture, sir?" " Do the doctors sayyou're gonna get outta here?" " [Ed] Freaks!" "Get outta here!" "Get outta here!" "What is wrong with you people?" "Come on, trash barrel!" "[Reporter] Hey!" "Bela, what happened?" "Eddie, why did you chase them?" "After all theseyears, the press is finally interested again in Bela Lugosi." "Bela... those people are parasites;" "theyjustwanna exploityou." "Fine." "Let them." "There is no such thing as bad press, Eddie." "Man from New York evensaid he'sputting me on the frontpage." "First celebrity ever to check into rehab. [ Coughs ]" "When I get out ofhere..." "I will be healthy... strong... primed for my comeback-- [ Coughs Loudly]" "[ Coughing Continues ]" "[Footsteps ]" "Hello again." " Hi." " You look beat." "No, I-I'm fine." "How's your father?" "Better." "Thankyou for asking." "And your friend?" "[ Sighs ] Not good." "Well, I made him some booties to cheer him up." "They're black, to match his cape." "Say, haveyou always lived in Los Angeles?" "No, I'm from back east." "Poughkeepsie." "You know-- all-American small town;" "everybody knows everybody;" "my dad worked for the post office;" "I was a Boy Scout." " Did you find it boring?" " No, not at all." "I had my comic books and pulp magazines." " Used to listen to radio dramas constantly." " I love those shows." " The Shadow, InnerSanctum." " Yes." " And the MercuryTheater with Orson Welles." " Mmm." "Boy, you know, every Saturday afternoon me and my dad... marched down the street in our uniform to the little movie theater." "[ Gasps ] Oh, the spook house!" "[ Girl Screaming]" "[ Ghost Moaning]" " [ Hisses ]" " Aah!" " [Knocking]" " Aaaarrr!" "You're not gonna believe the first picture I ever saw." "It was your friend's-- Dracula." " That's incredible; that's the first picture I ever saw." " That is incredible." " You know, I had to sleep with the lights on for a week." " I had to for a month." "But I never missed a Lugosi picture after that one." "A fewyears ago I actually saw him do Dracula live." "It was much scarier in person." " [High-PitchedScream, Tape Winds Down ] - [Ed] Oh." "We're stuck." "Kathy..." "I'm about to tell you something that I never told any girl on a first date." "But I think it's important that you know..." "I like to wear women's clothes." " Huh?" " I like to wearwomen's clothes." "Panties, brassieres, sweaters, pumps." "It's just something I do." "Yes, I can't believe I'm telling you this, but I really likeyou... and I don'twant it getting in theway down the road." "Does this mean..." "you don't like sexwith girls?" "No, I love sex with girls." "Okay." "Okay?" "Okay." " [ElectricityBuzzes ] - [Screaming Continues ]" "You see, we thought that Mr. Lugosi was insured through his union." "You see, we thought that Mr. Lugosi was insured through his union." " Isn't he?" " No, they say his eligibility ran outyears ago." "Look, Doctor... he doesn't have any money." "But I'll giveyou everything I've got;" "a few hundred dollars." "That won't even begin to cover it." "He's gonna have to leave." "Bela?" "Bela, wake up." "I've got some great news." "The doctor says you're all better; you can go home now." "Really?" "I don't feel so great." "No?" "Well, you look just peachy." "And, uh, the tests came back fine." "Come on, let's get up." "Here we go." "Atta boy." "Good." "Eddie..." "I want to make another picture." "When are we going to make another picture?" "Oh... soon, Bela." "Very soon." "This is so exciting." "[ Chuckles ]" "Another production." "Isn't it?" "So, Eddie, shouldn't we have a sound crew?" "Uh, no, no, because this is just second unit stuff." "We're gonna do the main footage later." "All right?" "So, what's this scene about?" "Um..." "You're a very important and respected man." "And you're leaving your house;" "you're in a hurry." "You're on yourway to a big social brouhaha." "Okay?" "Eddie." "What ifI'm not in so big a hurry?" "What ifl take a moment to slow down;" "to savor the beauty oflife;" "to, to smell a budding flower?" "That's great." "That is great." "Let's do a take." "Okay?" " [ Men Arguing ]" " Ed, I'm really busy." " What doyou want now?" " I was calling to see ifyou'd like to attend... the world premiere of my new movie, Bride ofthe Monster." " Didn'tyou just make one called Bride OfTheAtom?" " Yes, it's the same film." "But the distributor wanted a punchier title." "Come on, it's gonna be a big event;" "Bela, Tor and Cris are coming." "You'll have fun!" "[Tor] Uhh!" "I can't see." "These contact lenses are hurting." "My eyes are killin' me." "Don'tworry." "We're almost there." "[ Nervous Chuckle ]" "[ Nervous Chuckle] Hi." "Right in there." "Thank God you're here." "They're tearing up the place." "Come on, come on." "Come on, this way." " [ Groans ]" " Come on!" "Come on!" " I've never been to a movie premiere before!" " [ CrowdShouting, Faint]" "[ Booing, Shouting, Whistling ]" "Well, go knock 'em dead." "[Shouting, Whistling Continue ]" " Oooh!" " [ Slight Echo, Feedback]" "At the stroke of midnight... the witching hour... the ghouls arise..." " [ Tor Growling] - from the dead!" "[Microphone Feedback ]" "[ Growls ]" " Hey, Vampira, how 'bout a little love!" " Fuck off!" " One of them stole my wallet!" " [ Growling Continues ]" " I can't see!" " Get off me!" "Let's go!" " I gotta save 'em!" "[Vampira Grunting]" "[ Ed ] Get your heads down!" "Come on, let's go!" "We're getting the heck outta here!" " [ Cheering, Shouting Intensify]" " Can't see!" "[Tor] I can'tsee anymore!" "[Rattling]" "Hey, come on!" "Let's split!" " Taxi!" " [ Tires Screech ]" " Stop!" " [ Criswell] Get in!" "Come on!" "Go on, get in!" "Now, that was a premiere." "Eddie..." " last night was quite a romp." " [ Laughs ]" " Did you see that kid grab Vampira's boobies?" " [ Chuckles ]" "I envied him." "Hell, I envied you too." "A girlfriend whowould jump in front ofa car like that." "Yes, she is quite something." "None ofmywives would have." "[ Chuckles ]" "Eddie, I want to thankyou." "These last few days have been... a good time." "You know, I just" " I just wish you coulda seen the movie." " Ahh." "No problem." "I know it by heart." "Home." "I have no home." "Hunted." "Despised." "Living like an animal." "Thejungle is my home." "But I shall show theworld... that I can be its master!" "I shall perfect my own race ofpeople... a race ofatomic supermen... that will conquer the world!" "[Applause ]" "Uh, Mr. Lugosi, could I have your autograph, please?" " Certainly." " Why, that was" " That was incredible." " I mean, you're just as great as you everwere." " Better." "I am 7 4, but I don't know it." "When the brain is young... the spirit is still..." "vigorous..." "Iike-- like a young man." "[ Chuckles ]" ""And left the planet Mars... never to return again."" " [ Giggles ]" " The end." " Mmm." " [Telephone Rings ]" "Wood Productions." "Hey, who's crazy idea was it to bury him in the cape?" "I heard it was in the will; it was how he wanted to be remembered." "[ Scoffs ]" "Could you run it again?" "Mr. Wood." " Huh?" " Uh, Mr. Wood, this is Mr. Reynolds, your landlord." "Could you please open up?" "One minute." " Yes?" " Uh, Mr. Wood, you have bounced your third and final rent check." "I'm terribly sorry." "My-My stockbroker must've transferred the wrong account." " Come on in, I'll writeyou another check." " [ Dogs Whining, Yipping ]" "Ahh." "I seeyou're in the picture business." "Yes." "I'm interested in the picture business." "My associates and I, we wish to produce a series ofuplifting religious films... about the apostles." "But unfortunately, we don't have enough money." "Well, raising money's tough." "No, our church has enough money for one film." "We just don't have enough for all twelve." "Well, you know whatyou do?" "You produce a film in a commercially-proven genre... and then after it's a hit, you take the profits from that and make the 1 2 apostles movies." " Would that work?" " Absolutely." "Let me showyou something." "You see this script?" "Grave Robbers From OuterSpace." "Money in the bank." "Grave robbers from what?" "From outer space." "It's science fiction." "Very big with the kids." "Ifyou make this picture, you'll have enough money to finance a hundred religious films... and pay my back rent with the profits." "I don't know." "This is, um, all a lot to absorb." "It's a guaranteed blockbuster." "Mmm." "I understand this science fiction is very popular, but, um... don't the big hits always have big stars?" "Well, we have a big star" " Bela Lugosi." "Bela Lugosi" "Oh, I thought he passed on." "Yes." "Yes, he did." "But..." "I've got the last footage he ever shot." "Doesn't look like very much." "Mr. Reynolds, this is the acorn that will grow a great oak." "I'll just get a double to finish his scenes... and we'll release it as Bela Lugosi's final film." "Bunny?" "We're makin' another movie." "Bunny?" "We're makin' another movie." "Yes, I got the Baptist Church of Beverly Hills to put up the cash." " [Knocking] - [Paul] Ed, I got the Lugosi doubles outside." "Bunny, I gotta go." "He's too short." "He's too tall." "He's just not going to work." "Well, Ed, I was thinkin' like when Bela played Fu Manchu." " Paul, that was Karloff." " Oh." " You're gonna have to try harder." " Okay." " Try to be a cut above." "Go get 'em." " Okay." "Right." "Keep Sunday open; the producers want us to get baptized." "Okay." "[Door Closes ]" "You know, hon, when you rewrite a script, it just gets better and better." "This is the ultimate Ed Wood movie." "No compromises." "Oh, my." " Eddie, look at this." " Hmm?" "What?" "Poor girl's out of a job." "I brought the script." "You'll be portraying the ghoul's wife." " The ghoul's wife?" " Yes." " [ Sighs ]" " You should feel lucky." "Eddie's the onlyfella in town who doesn't pass judgment on people." "That's right." "Ifl did, I wouldn't have anyfriends." "Look, would it be possible to make the ghoul's wife a little less prominent..." " so peoplewouldn't really notice me in the movie?" " You don't want to be noticed?" "Yeah." "How about this?" "What ifl don't have any lines?" "I'll playthe part mute." " Mute?" " Hey, it's Dr. Tom." " Dr. Tom!" "Hiya!" " Who's Dr. Tom?" " He's my chiropractor." " Hey, Kathy." "How are you?" " Fine, thanks." " Well, look at you." "You're looking in alignment today." "Well, actually, my neck is a little funny." "Now, here, let me fix that." " [ Neck Cracks ]" " Ooh!" "My gosh!" "Don't move." "It's uncanny." "Look at his head!" "It's uncanny!" "?" "[ Organ ]" "?" "Lift upyourvoice ?" "?" "And let us sing ?" "?" "Alleluia, alleluia ?" " ?" "[Continues ]" " He look nothin' like Bela." "He's kinda got his ears." "Oh, look." "Coveryourfacewith this." "Oh." "Now I can see it." "I want to suck your blood." "I want to suck your blood!" " Let's hearyou call Boris Karloffa cocksucker." " [ Snickers ]" "Shh!" "We want these Baptists to like us." "Please." "?" "Alleluia?" "Brothers and sisters... we reach now in the service a joyous point... because we are going to bearwitness to the baptism of our new members." "[ Whispering ] Why couldn't we do this in the church?" "Because BrotherTor couldn't fit in the sacred tub." "Welcome to the fold, brother." " Doyou acceptJesus Christ as your personal savior?" " Yes!" "In the name ofthe Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost." " Amen." " [ Spits ]" "Welcome to the fold, brother." "Welcome." "Praise the Lord, brother." "Doyou reject Satan and all his evils?" "Sure." "In the name ofthe Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost." "[Reverend] Praise the Lord, friends!" " Doyou repent forallyoursins?" " [Tor] I do." "How do you do it?" "How do you get all your friends to get baptized..." "just so you can make a monster movie?" " It's not a monster movie." " It's a supernatural thriller." " Come toJesus, brother!" "[ Sighs ]" "I can't believe this." " Ed, what am I gonna do here?" " What doyou mean?" " He has no hair." " Gee, I never noticed that." "Put a wig on him!" "Before we start shooting, Mr. Wood, we have a few questions." "Yes." "The script contains numerous references to grave robbing." "Now, we find the concept of digging up consecrated ground to be highly offensive." " It is blasphemy." " What areyou talking about?" "It's the premise ofthe movie." " It's the title ofthe movie, for Christ's sakes!" " Mr. Wood!" "Yes, about that title." "It strikes us as very inflammatory." "Why don't we change it to Plan 9 From OuterSpace?" "Ha!" "That's ridiculous." "All right." "And, action!" "[ Camera Whirring ]" "Medical examiner been around yet?" "Just left." "The morgue wagon oughta be along most anytime." " You get their statement?" " Yeah, but they're pretty scared." "Fine mess like this will frighten anyone." "You have one ofthe boys, uh... take the guyand the girl back to town;" "you take charge." "What'd you give him all the lines for?" "He's unintelligible." "Lugosi's dead and Vampira won't talk;" "I hadda give somebody the dialogue!" "That is no answer!" "What about glitter?" "When I was a headliner in Paris, audiences always liked itwhen I sparkled." "No!" " Cat's eyes!" " No!" " Well, I'm going to need some antennae." " No!" "You're the ruler ofthe galaxy!" "Show a little taste!" "[Ed]See?" "No talking." "Isn't he good?" " Cue Dr. Tom." " N-Now?" "Yes, now." "Lurk him." "Be sure and keep your face covered." "Isn't it wonderful?" "Bela lives." "Doesn't it strike you as a bit morbid?" "No." "He would've loved it." "Bela's returned from the grave." "Just like Dracula." "Cue Vampira." " [ Screaming ]" " Cut!" "Let's go down andfindout whose grave it is." "Oh, why do I always get hooked up with these spook details?" "Monsters, graves, bodies!" "Cue flying saucer." "[WhirringSound, Squeaking]" "And cut!" "Print." "We're moving on." " That was perfect." " Perfect?" "Mr. Wood... do you know anything about the art of film production?" "Well, I like to think so." "That cardboard headstone tipped over." "This graveyard is obviously phony." "Nobodywill ever notice that." "Filmmaking is not about the tiny details." "It's about the big picture." " [Reynolds ] The bigpicture?" " Yes." "How about when the policemen arrived in daylight, but now it's suddenly night?" "What doyou know?" "Haven'tyou heard of suspension of disbelief?" "Reverend, I'm here." " Oh. [ Chuckling ]" " Who is he?" "This is our choir director." "He's gonna play theyoung hero." "Areyou people insane?" "I'm the director!" "I make the casting decisions around here!" "I thought this was a group effort." "No!" "No?" "They're driving me crazy!" "These Baptists are..." "stupid, stupid, stupid!" "Okay." "I gotta calm down." "Gotta calm down." "Gotta calm down." "Take a deep breath." "Relax." "All right, everybody." "Let's get set up for scene 1 1 2." "Move the crypt stage left, and let's get Tor's makeup effect ready." "Mr. Wood!" " What do you thinkyou're doing?" " I'm directing." "Not like that you're not!" "Remove that getup immediately!" "You shame our Lord." "That's it!" "I can't take it!" "[Tires Screeching ]" "Take me to the nearest bar, and make it snappy!" "Imperial Whiskey." "[ Gasps ]" "Oh, my gosh." "Orson Welles." " Excuse me, sir?" " Yes?" "Um" " Well, I'm a young filmmaker and a real big fan." "I" " I just wanted to meet you." "My pleasure." "I'm Orson Welles." "I'm, uh, Edward D. Wood,Jr." "Whatyou working on?" "Well, the financing just fell through forthe third time on Don Quixote." "You know, I can't believe it." "That sounds just exactly like my problems." "It's the damn money men." "They never know who's a windbag and who's got the goods." "Then they all think they're directors." "Ain't that the truth?" "Doyou know that I've even had producers re-cut my movies?" " I hate when that happens." " Andthey're always trying to cast theirbuddies." "It doesn't even matter if they're right for the part." "Tell me about it." "I'm supposed to do a thriller at Universal... but theywant Charlton Heston to play a Mexican." "Ah, Mr. Welles." "Is it all worth it?" "It is when itworks." "You know, the one film ofmine where I had total control, Kane?" "Thestudio hatedit... but theydidn't get to touch a frame." " Ed." " Yes?" "Visions are worth fighting for." "Whyspendyourlife making someone else's dreams?" "?" "[ Triumphal Music Swells ]" "Thank you..." "Orson." " Mr. Reynolds." " Yes." "We are gonna finish this picture just the way I want it... because you cannot compromise an artist's vision." " But it's our money." " And you're gonna make a bundle... but only ifyou shut up and let me do things myway." "All right, gang." "Actors in positions." "Let's finish this picture." "Action." "[ Grunting ]" "Wanna give him a hand?" "Keep rolling." "[ Grunting ]" "[ Beeping ]" "Now that's an alien." "Action." " What plan will you follow now?" " Plan 9." "Plan 9?" "Ah, yes." "Plan 9 deals with the resurrection ofthe dead." "Long-distance electrodes shot into the pineal and pituitary glands... ofthe recent dead." "You know, maybeyou guys were right." "" Plan 9" is a good title." "I want that lightning, I want those two explosions..." " and I've got to have more shots ofthe military!" " Right." "[ Screaming ]" "[Woman Screaming]" "And cut." "All right, friends." "Prepare for scene 32." " M-Mr." "Wood?" " Yeah?" " Where's the cockpit set?" " You're standing in it." "Places!" "But what ifwe develop this solenite bomb?" "Then we'd be a stronger nation too." ""Stronger." You see?" "You see?" "Your stupid minds." "Stupid." "Stupid!" " That's all I'm gonna take outta you!" " Oh!" "Cut!" "Action." "Greetings, myfriend." "We are all interested in the future... forthat is whereyou and I are going to spend the rest of our lives." "And remember, myfriend:" "Future events such as these will effectyou in the future." "[ Explosions ]" "?" "[Triumphal Music Swells ]" "And... cut!" "That's a wrap." "Oh!" "I can't get it up." "It's stuck." "Eddie, you're gonna be late foryour own premiere." "All right, forget it." " ?" "[Fanfare ]" " Ladies and gentlemen." "You are about to see an extraordinary motion picture." "But before it begins, I think we shouldall give a hand to the man... without whom we wouldn't be here tonight." "Eddie, take a bow!" "Thankyou." "I just wanna say that this film... is for Bela." "[ Thunderclap ]" "[NarratorofFilm ] The griefofhis wife's death... became greater and greateragony." "The home theyhad so long shared together... became a tomb... a sweet memory ofherjoyous living." "The sky to which he had once looked... was now only a covering for her dead body." "The ever-beautiful flowers she had planted... with her own hands... became nothing more than the lost roses ofher cheeks." "Confused by his great loss... the old man left that home... never to return again." "[ Car Tires Screeching, Man Screaming ]" "[ Siren Wailing ]" "?" "[ Somber Music On Soundtrack ]" "This is the one." "This is the one I 'll be remembered for." "Aw, gee, honey, I 'm so happy forya!" "Say, let's get married." " Huh?" " Right now." "Let's go to Vegas." "But, Eddie, it's pouring, and the car top is stuck." "Phooey!" "It's only a five-hour drive... and it'll probably stop by the time we get to the desert." "Heck, it'll probably stop by the time we get around the corner." "Let's go." "Oh!" "[ Laughing ]" "[ThunderRumbling]" "[Thunderclap ]" "[Thunderclap ]"